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Tony stared at Steve for what felt like an eternity. He didn’t really know how time worked in this place. Steve shouldn’t be here. He was supposed to be alive, living his life with Sam and Bucky and the rest of the Avengers. So why was he the first person Tony saw? He figured he would see Natasha. She was gone, too. He felt a pang in his chest just thinking about it.
Then again, Tony didn’t really know how death worked. People assumed Tony knew everything. But in reality, he knew next to nothing. Not that it mattered anymore, since he was dead. Maybe Steve wasn’t dead, and this was his brain's weird way of processing his life. Steve was one of the major parts of his time alive, after all.
But when he looked at Steve, he knew. He knew this wasn’t a figment of his imagination(did dead people even have imaginations?). This was Steve, his Steve. They stared at each other for a little while longer, neither really knowing what to say. It wasn’t awkward. It was never awkward with Steve. It was a comfortable silence, full of acceptance. As peaceful as this moment was, they both knew it couldn’t last forever.
“Beautiful place, didn’t think death would be so peaceful,” Steve finally said. Tony looked around at the yellow-orange glow and nodded.
“Turns out death isn’t always about violence and destruction, I guess,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders. When he faced Steve again, he was met with a smile that he had seen a thousand times but had never failed to make his heart beat a little bit faster. I’m literally dead, my heart shouldn’t be beating at all. Of course Steve would never let something so small and irrelevant as death stop him from being the bane of my existence, he thought to himself, forcing chuckle down.
Tony found himself hit with a sudden urge to cry. He really didn’t know why. Everything was okay, now, right? They won the fight, he was at peace, and Steve seemed to be alright as well. Everything was supposed to be okay. But it wasn’t. Tony wanted to scream, and when he still couldn’t figure out the reason he was feeling this way, he wanted to scream even more.
“Tony?” He was brought back to his senses by Steve looking at him, concerned. He looked down at his feet in an attempt to hide the fact that he was about to have a mental breakdown. “Tony, look up at me,” the blonde said gently. Tony didn’t want to because he knew Steve would ask what’s wrong, what he could do to fix it. Steve would pull him into his arms, stroke his hair, tell him he’s safe. Tony didn’t know if he could handle that. He didn’t know if he deserved that. Steve didn’t seem to care.
“C’mon, Tony, let me help you, please.” He felt Steve grab his hand, his thumb stroking Tony’s palm gently. Tony leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Steve pulled him closer until his head was resting on the soldier’s chest. The rhythm of Steve’s heartbeat helped soothe him until eventually he was able to wrap his arms around the other man. Even in death, Steve’s body was a heater. In that moment, Tony felt so safe and protected that he was finally able to let himself break down. Before he could stop them, tears started to stream down his face. Steve didn’t judge. He never did.
He felt Steve’s fingers running through his hair gently, and Tony moved his head to nuzzle into the blonde's neck. Tony had always enjoyed moments like this between them. There was no tension, no arguments, no stress. Just them, arms around each other, with nobody else around to judge. I love him. That’s why I want to scream. Because I love him and I can’t have him but I want him so bad-
He started to sob even harder, his body shaking uncontrollably. He was hyperventilating so hard that it was hurting. He pulled himself impossibly closer to Steve to calm himself down, but it just made the emotions even more overwhelming. He felt really lightheaded, like he was on the verge of passing out. But if he passed out, he wouldn’t be able to feel Steve anymore, and he couldn’t have that. So he just clung on.
“Tony, I’m here. I’ve got you, and I’m not leaving,” Steve mumbled into his hair. Just like that, Tony stopped crying. His body stopped shaking and he could finally breathe properly again. Steve was here. He could have Steve. He could love Steve and it would be okay. He was safe. The words were so simple, and had been said to him multiple times, but the fact that they were being said right here, right now, by the beautiful man in front of him made hearing them so much more special. He pulled himself out of Steve’s shoulder to look into his eyes. They reminded him of the ocean. The soldier lightly thumbed away the tears, and Tony almost started crying again because of how gentle the other man was being. It made his heart ache for a reason he could not figure out.
“How’s everyone? Are they okay? A lot has changed in the past five years,” Tony asked, trying to distract himself from his feelings. Steve nuzzled his face into the brunette's curly hair.
“They’re doing as well as they can be. It’s hard. Nat’s gone. You’re gone. I’m gone. The world is a mess trying to get everyone where they’re supposed to be,” he mumbled.
“Why are you gone?”
It was silent for a while. The two started to sway from side to side slowly, Tony’s head once again resting on Steve’s chest.
“I couldn’t do it anymore. The future. Not without you.”
“So you went back.”
“Yeah.”
Tony looked up at Steve as he felt tears starting to pool into his eyes yet again.
“Do I really mean that much to you?” Tony failed to keep his voice from cracking.
“Tony… Tony I love you,” Steve said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Before Tony could say it back, the soldier’s lips were on his. They were so gentle and so soft that Tony melted into it immediately. He felt a warm glow in his chest that got rid of the heartache. Everything felt lighter, calmer. Everything clicked, as if all of the choices he made and all of the events that had happened in his life had been leading him to this very moment. There was nothing else he was supposed to do, nowhere else he was supposed to be. Everything was okay.
After what felt like forever, but also no time at all, he pulled away, resting his forehead on Steve’s. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to. Despite everything that they have been through, despite the world being against them, they were okay. They had made it out together. Tony should hate Steve. Steve should hate Tony. They fought each other multiple times. Steve lied to Tony. Tony yelled at Steve. But none of that mattered. Not anymore. Maybe it never did. Tony didn’t care, and neither did Steve.
“Will you stay? Please stay,” he whispered, almost pleadingly.
“For the rest of eternity,” Tony opened his eyes to see the other man smiling fondly at him. He couldn’t help but to kiss the blonde's nose, then returning the smile.
“I think that’ll be enough time.”