Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tubbo feels heavy in his sleep and he tries to shift positions, but he finds that he’s unable to. He opens his eyes in a squint, only half awake. Alex is carrying the boy as they walk through a bright corridor. Tubbo glances at the people walking with them in the emergency room. He sees officer Puffy and officer Techno, he sees a nurse and a doctor, he sees a hospital security guard, and he sees another woman. He notices the expression on the woman’s face. It’s a mixture between grief but also joy. This all feels like some sort of strange dream and Tubbo can’t seem to keep his eyes open for much longer. He closes them and drifts back into a deep sleep.

The next time that Tubbo wakes up, he finds himself in a bed huddled close to Alex. He opens his eyes and sees only white for a moment. He winces and rubs his face uncomfortably. After a few seconds his vision clears. Sitting up, Tubbo takes note of the bandage on his knee. It itches, having already started to scab. He also notices a blue band around his wrist, his name and information written in black ink on it.

Looking over at his papa, Tubbo sees the bruises on Alex’s neck starting to fade. He looks peaceful so the boy figures it’s best not to wake him. There’s a smaller bed to the right of them, untouched and unused. Tubbo climbs onto it and finds that it’s far more soft than the one they used in Room. Despite its comfort however, Tubbo can’t imagine himself sleeping without the comfort of Alex close to him.

He steps down and shivers at the sharp cold of the floor but he continues onward towards the large glass windows that take up a majority of the wall. The hospital suite is on one of the top floors of the building and Tubbo is in awe at the view in front of him as he peers down. There’s a park but it doesn’t look like many people are out walking. The sky looks gray and there’s a light sprinkle coming down from the clouds. Tubbo starts to realize just how far the ground is and he begins to panic. His breathing quickens and he scrambles back into the bigger bed.

“Papa! Papa!”

Alex’s eyes shoot open, fear taking over his senses before he realizes that everything is alright. The want to protect his son lingers as he pulls Tubbo in for a hug and plants a kiss on his head. “Good morning, dormilón.”

Tubbo already starts to feel better in the hold of his papa, his body slowly easing. “Are we on another planet?”

Alex gives a light chuckle and shades his head. “Nah, it’s the same one. We’re just in a different spot.” He thinks for a second about how he should go about explaining their current situation. “It’s a bedroom but in a hospital. We’re not sick though, we just have to stay here for a bit.”

“How long?” Tubbo asks with worry in his voice.

“Not long,” Alex reassures. “Abuela came to visit us last night. She’ll come get us once the doctors say we’re okay.”

“And Abuelo?”

“He was away because of work, but he’s on a plane right now to come home.”

Suddenly the hospital phone rings and Tubbo gasps. Alex is quick to reach over and answer the call, ending the disruptive ringing.

“Hello?” Tubbo listens to Alex speak. “Yeah, just right now.” The boy seems confused as to who his papa is talking to. “That’d be great. Can you bring it in 20 minutes?” What does he want this mystery voice to bring? “Okay, thank you.” Alex hangs up the phone and gets out of the bed.

Tubbo follows his papa into the bathroom and watches as Alex steps in front of the sink. “Hey Tubbo, c’mere.” The boy complies and Alex hoists him up onto his hip. “Look, that’s us,” he states as they both look into the mirror above the counter.

The two of them look like a mess compared to the clean, antiseptic walls. Their hair is tangled and their pale skin doesn't make them look any better. Tubbo can’t help but stare at Alex’s eye, his scar running deep from his eyebrow to his lip. He remembers when he found out how Alex got the scar in the first place.

“Papa, will he find us?..”

Alex’s smile turns into a frown and he sets Tubbo back down on the ground. “No. He will never find us. I promise.” It’s a promise that he’ll do everything in his power to keep.

Moving away from the sink, Alex finds the shower and turns the water on. Tubbo looks around the bathroom confused before asking, “where’s the bath?”

“This is a shower. It’s like a bath but more splashier,” Alex explains.

Tubbo shakes his head. “Bath before bed, that’s the rule!”

“There are no rules now. We can do what we want.”

Tubbo finds that unnerving. A world without rules seems chaotic and too unrestrictive for his liking.

The two sit on the bed dressed in white robes. Alex brushes out Tubbo’s wet hair as the boy stares out the window, finishing just as there’s a knock at the door.

“Papa, the door’s ticking!” Tubbo scurries to hide behind Alex as a man walks into the room.

“It’s okay, he’s just a doctor.”

“Hello there,” the man greets while a nurse rolls in a cart behind him. “I heard that everyone is awake.”

Tubbo looks down at the bedsheets, refusing to make eye contact with the doctor. Alex rubs his back in an effort to comfort him.

“Hi, Toby. How are you doing?” The doctor waits for a response but only receives silence. “You must be hungry.”

“Here, they brought us breakfast,” Alex points out as the doctor brings over the cart from earlier, the nurse having already left the room. “Let’s check out what we have.” Sitting on the cart are two plates with plastic lids covering them, each holding the same breakfast items: pancakes and fruit. Alex removes the lids and Tubbo stares at the strange food cautiously.

The doctor flips through a few papers before continuing on to more urgent matters. “I have some goodies for the both of you.” The doctor takes out two pairs of sunglasses, one clearly smaller than the other but the frames seem to be less tinted. “These will make you more comfortable if you need to go outside. The good thing is it’s cloudy today, but I still don’t recommend very much light exposure for the time being considering your..” the doctor gestures to Alex, or more specifically his scar. “..current state.” Alex understands and the doctor hands him a bottle of sunblock and a surgical mask next. “These are for Toby.”

Alex looks at the mask questionably, hesitant as to its purpose. “Is it really necessary?”

“There’s a lot of germs in the air. Germs that he hasn’t been exposed to yet,” the doctor informs. “It’ll help keep him from catching anything, at least until he gets a few of his immunizations. Oh!” He hastily reaches into his lab-coat pocket and gives Alex a bottle of pills. “My colleague recommended these for the pain in your wrist until we can schedule a surgery. We’ll also take a closer look at your eye before we do that, but we don’t have to do that right away. Just the sooner the better. Did you also consider what we talked about earlier?”

Alex tucks the pill bottle away in his robe and helps Tubbo cut into his pancakes, the entire stack now covered in syrup. “I did, but um.. I really just want to go home.”

The doctor nods his head in understanding but his face appears to be disappointed in a way, or perhaps more so sad. “Okay. You know my view. I just think that with everything you two have been through, it would really help ease his transition—”

“I know,” Alex interrupts. “Thank you, really, but I’ve made up my mind. Nothing happened to Tubbo, so he’s gonna be okay.. right?”

There’s a still in the conversation and the doctor considers his next words carefully. “The most important thing you did was get him out while he’s still plastic.”

The three of them suddenly hear voices, muffled but getting louder. The voices seem to be arguing and Alex looks around the room before standing up from the bed. He seems overwhelmed by both anxiousness and excitement. He walks towards the door just as it opens.

“…Papi?..” Alex stands there for a moment in disbelief before running up to a middle aged man with brown hair and a short beard. The two embrace each other in a hug before breaking down into tears.

A woman with long black hair walks in behind the man and turns her attention to the doctor. “I’m sorry, we just couldn’t wait any longer..”

“Don’t worry about it,” the doctor gives the woman a nod before exiting the room.

The woman notices Tubbo on the bed. He’s curled in on himself, hiding his face in his hands and pressing his chin close to his knees. He looks terrified so the woman stands back and gives him space. “Hello, Toby. Thank you. Thank you so much for saving our niño.” The woman begins to weep and Tubbo peeks between his fingers.

He swears that he’s seen her before, but he can’t quite remember where. He moves his hair out of his face so that he can get a better look and notices that the woman now has her arms wrapped around Alex as well. Are these the abuelo and abuela that his papa had been talking about?

Tubbo’s suspicions are confirmed a few minutes later when Alex finally breaks away from the hug. He sticks his hand out to his son and Tubbo creeps towards the adults, still choosing to hide before his papa timidly.

“These are your grandparents, Tubbo. You don’t have to be afraid, they won’t hurt you.” Alex runs his hand through Tubbo’s hair and the boy inches closer. His grandparents smile at him warmly.

Later in the afternoon, Alex and Tubbo decide to get some fresh air on the hospital roof. Tubbo sits on a wooden bench wearing a thick oversized jacket, sunglasses, and a facial mask. He watches Alex who jogs from one end of the roof to the other, dressed in a royal-blue tracksuit. He has on his own pair of sunglasses, but still seems physically irritated despite the cloud coverage preventing the sun from shining through.

Tubbo looks uncomfortable as he wipes at the sunblock on his face. The new shoes on his feet also seem to be a burden since he’s not used to wearing them yet. He gets up from the seat and runs to Alex when he sees his Abuelo and his Abuela walking towards them.

Alex picks Tubbo up, concerned for a moment before realizing that his son is just being shy. He sits Tubbo back down on the bench and hugs his parents again. There’s a clear closeness between the three but they break from the hug after a few seconds to take a seat beside Tubbo.

Alex wipes away tears as he listens to his father speak. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here last night. I was out of state and I couldn’t get a plane until four in the morning.”

“It’s okay, Papi. I know how hard you work. The good thing is you’re here now.”

There’s a beat of silence. Both of Alex’s parents seem tense, but his father moreso. He looks down at his hands before continuing. “Alex I.. Kristin and I lied about me being away on a business trip.”

Alex is stunned for a moment, both because of the lie but also at the fact that his father just addressed his mother by her first name. “I don’t understand.”

“I live there now,” his father explains.

Alex looks between his parents, still not sure how to handle the news. Kristin grabs his hand and offers a sympathetic look. “Mijo, there have been a lot of changes since you’ve been gone. Sam and I.. losing you was really hard on us. We didn’t know how to.. He and I…” She can’t seem to find the right words to say but she doesn’t need to. Alex knows what’s going on now.

“Um this is—” Alex takes in a shallow breath. He feels like the world is starting to spin, or maybe it’s just his world falling apart all over again. “—this is a lot to take in.”

“I’m sorry, Son. Truly I am. The lawyers, the detectives, everyone told us to assume that you were dead.”

“Everyone except me,” Kristin corrects.

“Everyone except your mother.. They said that in less than a year from now, they would have declared you dead.” Sam lets out a sob. He lays a hand over his eyes to hide his tears and Kristin takes over the conversation for him.

“We had different opinions on the matter. I wanted to keep looking but Sam felt like it was time to move on. Alex please don’t hold that against him. After so many years most of us were beginning to lose hope. The police were starting to give up and the media had already forgotten.”

Alex can feel tears of his own streaming down his cheeks. He has a countless amount of questions rushing in his mind. Had they really given up on him? It’s his fault that his parents divorced? They assumed he was dead?

“I’m so sorry, mijo,” Kristin apologizes for both herself and Sam as she wipes her tears. “We didn’t know how else to tell you. They said that we should talk to you together.”

Kristin looks upset to put it lightly. She looks almost ashamed and Alex debates pulling her in for a hug, but he feels motionless. He’s unable to process everything so soon.

Sam manages to find his voice again. “The doctors said that there was this other place to.. yknow, because it’s challenging to—”

“Challenging?” Alex cuts in “He has no idea what challenging is! He has no idea what we’ve been through! Nothing will ever compare to that!”

Tubbo flinches. He was barely paying attention to the conversation before and all of a sudden he hears yelling. It scares him until he realizes it’s his papa who’s being vocal.

“I told him we’re going home,” Alex clarifies bluntly. “Unless you’d prefer us—”

“Of course not!” Kristin rubs Alex’s hand reassuringly. “But if you’re coming home so soon.. there’s something else you should know. After Sam and I separated, there was someone else, someone you already know actually.”

Sam speaks quickly before Alex has a chance to say anything. “Phil is a good man. Your mother is much happier now. It’s a good thing.”

Tubbo tugs at Alex’s jacket feeling distressed. The rooftop is becoming too big for his liking. Alex turns to him with a frustrated look and Tubbo let’s go.

“I’m sorry, this is just too much to handle right now.” Alex reaches down and picks up Tubbo before heading back to their hospital room.

He feels like he’s about to have a panic attack and he doesn’t want his parents to see him in that state. He almost doesn’t make it back to the room, nearly breaking down in the middle of the hallway, but he forces himself to keep going. Finally closing the door behind him, he sets Tubbo down and rushes to the bathroom. Locking himself in before sliding to the floor and letting it all out. This is not at all how he imagined life would be after he made it out. Maybe it wasn’t so bad in Room.

Chapter Text

Alex and Tubbo, who’s once again wearing his mask, stroll through the hospital corridor accompanied by a nurse and a security guard. Tubbo is fascinated as they pass by a nurses station. He notices a room with many different patients all relaxing. Some play cards while others read a book or stare out the window.

I've been in the world thirty-seven hours. I've seen pancakes, and stairs, and birds, and windows, and clouds, and polices, and doctors.

Tubbo sits on a medical bench in a pediatric office. Alex holds him close while the boy clutches at his shirt with one hand, his other arm slowly being injected with a needle. Tubbo wails and looks away. He doesn’t like the stabbing pain but Alex rubs his back and whispers words of encouragement.

I’ve seen Abuela and Abuelo, but Papa says that they don’t live together in the house with a basement anymore. Abuela lives there with her friend Phil now and Abuelo lives far away.

Sam had left the hospital early stating that he needed to check in to his hotel before they gave his room away. Alex can’t help but feel like his close bond with his father has severed completely. He knew things would be different once he escaped, but he never imagined the man that he looked up to before would have given up so easily.

I’ve seen persons with different faces, and bigness, and smells, talking all together. The world's like all TV planets on at the same time so I don't know which way to look and listen.

Alex and Tubbo sit on their hospital bed watching the news. The anchor woman rambles on about utility companies for a few minutes until the story changes.

“And now to developments in the case of the young man, believed to be Alexis Awe–”

A picture of Alex in high school pops up on the screen. He picks at the dinner plate in front of him uncomfortably, but he keeps his eyes on the TV.

“–who was rescued last night, along with his child, from a garden shed having allegedly been held captive there for over six years. We are getting unconfirmed reports that an individual has just been arrested, after what one witness has called a 'short stand-off' at a house on the east side.”

The scene changes to show footage of Schlatt’s house. The room phone rings and Alex wastes no time in answering it. “Hello?… I know, I’m watching it right now… I can’t believe it… I just want to be home already.”

“Both victims are understood to be receiving medical attention at an unknown location. The child, of unknown gender, was described by one eyewitness as unable to walk–”

“Wait, wait, the doctors said this afternoon?”

There’s doors and more doors and behind all the doors there's another inside and another outside and things happen-happen- happening. It never stops. Plus the world's always changing brightness and hotness and there's invisible germs floating everywhere so Papa says I have to stay protected.

Tubbo holds his papa’s hand tightly as they walk towards the hospital entrance. He looks up at Kristen who stays close behind them. He tugs at his mask uncomfortably but Alex ushers for him to keep it on. Alex puts on his sunglasses as they walk through the doors, a resident agent waiting for all of them outside.

“You have your schedule of appointments and your medications. Please, I ask that you completely finish the course of antibiotics,” the doctor explains one last time.

Alex nods his head and picks Tubbo up so that he can place him in his new car seat. “I understand.”

“You have my number just in case you need anything.”

“Got it.” Alex climbs into the back of the car and buckles himself in. He seems slightly annoyed but one glance at him and you could easily tell just how relieved he actually is.

Tubbo watches the city as they drive through it. After a while, Alex removes his son’s glasses in an attempt to help him slowly adjust to sunlight, the tinted windows still providing a bit of defense. Tubbo shuts his eyes for a few seconds before blinking them open again.

When I was small I only knew small things but now I'm five so I know everything.

Alex’s old neighborhood feels strange to him, not unfamiliar, but he feels out of place. He supposes that the crowd of media doesn’t help things feel anymore homey, set up across the street and blocked by temporary barricades. He also sees neighbors and well-wishers mixed in with the news reporters. Some of them are carrying balloons, flowers, toys, and other sorts of gifts. There’s also a handful of police officers making sure that nobody crosses the barrier.

The car pulls up to the driveway and Alex looks noticeably uneasy. “We’re walking out in this?” He questions rhetorically and undoes Tubbo’s car seat.

Tubbo has his hands clasped over his ears. He hates the sounds of cheers and reporters, Alex does as well but he quickly scoops the boy into his arms and hurries out the car door.

“It’s okay, mijo,” Kristin reassures as she guides her son towards the front door. She lays a hand on his back comfortingly, noticing FBI agents and their lawyer holding back a few news reporters who ignored the barricades and are trying to reach Alex and Tubbo.

“Alexis! Any message for your well-wishers!?”

“Alex, what’s it like to be home!?”

“Toby! Toby! Look this way!”

“Alexis! What do you want to say to your capture!?”

The family, as well as the resident agent from before, makes it inside safely and Kristin shuts the door.

“Don’t worry, they’ll get bored quickly. The back of the property is well screened, and we’ve added care to anywhere necessary, so if you keep the drapes closed then you’ll have complete privacy. We'll be right outside if there’s anything you need,” the resident agent explains before hastily making his way out the front door.

Alex just breaths. He takes a moment to recollect himself after all of that and he places Tubbo back on the ground. The boy lets go of his ears and is quick to start taking off his shoes and winter jacket.

“Your father will be here shortly. He’s going to talk with the lawyer.” Kristin rubs her son’s back and gives him a concerned look. “I’m sorry about all that.. are you okay?..”

Alex just nods his head in silence. Suddenly a figure walks out from the kitchen and stands in front of the entryway. “Hello there.”

Alex looks up, surprised that there was someone else already home. He calms slightly seeing a familiar face but it still troubles him. The man is above average height and has bleach blond bob-length hair, though it was far too messy to be considered a bob cut. His eyes are a grayish blue and he has a fair amount of stubble on his chin.

Kristin smiles at the man before he continues. “Welcome home, mate. I’m very, very happy to see you.” He looks like he has tears in his eyes, but he gives Alex his space.

“Hi..” Alex’s words come off as disinterested and while he doesn't intend for them to be, he can’t say he’s the most thrilled to see his mom’s boyfriend.

“Tubbo, this is Phil,” Kristin informs her grandson. “He’s been our friend since your papa was little.”

Tubbo takes a look at Phil before hiding his face in Alex’s shirt, still not accustomed to meeting strangers.

“It’s okay. I’m sure it’s weird seeing a lot of new faces. Is anyone hungry? We have pretty much everything.” Phil gestures towards the kitchen where many gift baskets of sweets and boxes of food have stock piled on the dining room table.

Alex leads Tubbo to the living room where more toys and gifts lie in the corner. They sit on the couch and Kristin sits on a chair beside them. “People have been so kind,” she affirms. “Would you like something to drink, Tubbo?”

Tubbo has his arms around his papa’s torso and he stares at the floor. “Tubbo? Abuela asked you a question. Do you want something?” Alex leans down to make eye contact and Tubbo moves to whisper in his ear. Alex listens before repeating, “Juice. He would like some juice.”

“Coming right up,” Kristin declares softly and stands up to get him a glass.

“Thank you.” Alex kisses Tubbo’s head and pulls him close. “You know when grandma asks you a question you can answer her. You don’t have to say everything to me. You’re allowed to make your own decisions”

Tubbo nods his head in understanding before glancing around the room. He points to the gifts in the corner and looks at them, puzzled. “Papa, what are those?”

“Those are toys, for you, from people who are very happy that we got home safety.”

“What people?”

“Just… people.”

Tubbo turns around to look out the window into the backyard. He notices a bone shaped toy on the windowsill and picks it up while inspecting it.

“What is that?” Alex puts his hand out and Tubbo passes him the toy. “Where did you get this?”

“Window.”

Kristin and Phil walk back into the living room with a tray of drinks and Alex looks up at them. “Do you have a dog?”

Kristin smiles, letting out a quiet titter before explaining, “it’s Phil’s dog, technically.”

Phil places the tray down on a small table in the center of the room before adding on, “His name is Bully, but don’t let the title trick ya’, he’s a super sweet boy. He’s with my sister at the moment.”

“The hospital said to avoid pets until your immunity is back up.” Kristin hands Tubbo a glass of orange juice and pours some tea for everyone else.

Alex opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the front door opening and slamming shut. Everyone turns to see Sam entering the living room.

“The lawyer said they’re expecting a plea but we can’t rule out a trial,” Sam informs. His voice is calm but there’s a clear undertone of frustration. “He wanted to get into everything but I told him that it could wait.” Sam brings a hand up to rub his face in irritation and takes a seat in one of the empty chairs.

Kristin gives him an agreeing nod and takes Tubbo’s, now empty, glass. “Good. And what about the crowd?”

“He thinks most of the press will be gone within a couple days. I made it clear there’d be no further contact. No statements. I told them to respect our family!” Sam feels a sting of guilt and apologizes for his outburst. “I’m sorry, I just..”

Phil offers him a sympathetic look, waving his hand as a dismissive gesture. “It’s alright. We’re all kind of tense right now. Can I get you anything?”

“Thank you. Maybe just some coffee. It’s been a long couple of days.”

Phil nods and makes his way to the kitchen. Kristin looks over at Alex happily. “Is there anything you two would like to do?”

“Can we see the basement?!” Tubbo pleads enthusiastically.

Kristin and Alex both chuckle at the boy’s sudden burst of confidence and they stand up from their seats. Kristin leads them to the untouched staircase before Tubbo stops and grabs his papa’s hand. He’s never had to climb stairs before.

“Hey it’s okay. Here just grab onto the rail like this.” Alex takes both of Tubbo’s hands and gently places them onto the wooden railing beside the stairs. “You just hold on tight and you place one foot on the step.” Alex takes a single step down before smiling up at his son. “See? And then the other foot. Here, I’ll go at the same time as you.” He places his hands around Tubbo’s waist, not too tight but firm enough that the boy feels more stable. The two carefully make their way down each step, stopping anytime that Tubbo needs a break. Soon enough they reach the bottom.

Tubbo looks around the basement curiously. Alex keeps a hand on the boy’s shoulder as he fights back tears. He never thought he’d see his old room again. It looks exactly the same, not even so much as one object moved from its original place.

He takes it all in. The bed in the corner, the desk across from it with an outdated PC, the closet still open revealing hung up jackets and a pile of clothes on the floor. He looks around at some of the pictures on the walls, mainly of Alex with his parents. There’s one of the Virgin Mary above his bed and it gives him a strange feeling but he ignores it.

Tubbo starts to feel uneasy with the silence and Kristin gets an idea. “Hey Tubbo, how about we get you a haircut tomorrow?” She smiles but the boy frowns and shakes his head.

“What’s wrong bud?” Alex kneels down and places a hand on Tubbo’s cheek. He notices Tubbo glance at his wrist before hugging his neck in a panic. Alex rubs his back in an effort to calm him down. He understands now. “He’s never had a haircut before.. I think he’s scared.”

“It’s okay, Tubbo. I can cut your hair if you don’t want a stranger doing it,” Kristin reassures. She reaches her hand out to place it on Tubbo’s arm, but he lets out a whimper and she pulls away.

Alex picks him up and sits him on the bed. “He needs a bit of time first.”

“I understand. Well.. I’ll let you two get some rest. I’ll come get you both when dinner is ready.” With that Kristin leaves the basement, aware to keep the door open at all times.

Chapter Text

Tubbo sits at the dining room table pressed close to his papa. He looks around at the others eating their dinner and remains silent, though everyone else hasn’t said much since dinner started. Tubbo looks down at his plate which consists of chicken, green beans, and apple slices but only a small portion of the food has been eaten.

Alex notices the boy’s plate and tries to encourage his son to eat a little more. “Why don’t you have a couple more apple slices? You love apples.”

Tubbo simply looks at fruit but doesn’t make any movements. Kristin gets an idea and stands from the table. “How about dessert? Have you ever tried ice cream, Tubbo?”

The boy shakes his head and Kristin gladly goes to get a bowl for him. After a short wait she returns and hands the sweet treat to Tubbo. He picks up his spoon and dips it into one of the scoops before looking up at Alex as if asking for permission.

“Go for it.”

Hearing his papa’s words, Tubbo smiles and takes a small mouthful. His eyes light up with amazement and he eagerly goes in for a second scoop, this one much bigger than before. His reaction suddenly shifts and the boy rubs a hand to his temple.

“Got a brain freeze there, Tubbo?” Phil asks. “Just gotta make sure you don’t eat it too fast.”

“Ice cream hurts,” Tubbo whispers and the adults cheer up at the comment—all except one.

Truth be told Alex had been monitoring Sam since they were at the hospital. He could sense that the relationship with his father had strained, but a big part of the issue was how much Sam had been trying to avoid the most obvious outcome from all of this.

Alex glances at Sam who sorrowfully picks at his dinner, clearly lost in thought.

“Is there something wrong, Sam?”

The man snaps back to reality expecting Kristin or Phil to be addressing him, but not Alex. At least he hadn't expected his own son to call him by his first name. Everyone else at the table looks just as surprised and their motions still completely.

Alex looks irritated as he impatiently waits for an answer. Sam finally manages to form words and lets out an apology before adding “I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

Sam stands from his seat but Alex is quick to respond. “Why are you in such a hurry?”

“It’s just.. it's been a long day.” There’s a slight hint of hesitation in Sam’s words and his son takes note of it.

“You haven’t said one word to Tubbo.”

Unlike her son, Kristin hasn’t put two and two together about Sam’s anxiousness around Tubbo and she tries to calm Alex down.

Sam looks torn, as if he's haunted by the blunt realization that Alex has made. “We don’t have to talk about this right now.”

“Yes we do.”

There’s a long beat of silence as the tension thickens at the table. Tubbo most of all just looks confused but he’s put off by the uneasiness of the adults around him.

“Look at him,” Alex orders Sam with a cross stare.

Sam keeps his eyes on his plate for a few seconds before looking up, only he doesn’t look at Tubbo. He tries, he really does, but his eyes seem to drift everywhere else except for the boy.

“Sam,” Alex croaks through grit teeth. Tears start to swell in his eyes and he grows more angry. “Please.”

By now everything has obviously clicked for Kristin and she places her hand on Alex’s before repeating her ex-husband's name.

“I’m sorry.” Sam’s voice is quiet but full of remorse. “I can’t. I just—” He has to cut himself off in order to keep himself from choking out a sob.

“He’s my baby! He’s your grandson!”

Sam gives up on holding back his tears and he lets them fall freely. His fists clench by his sides as he finally says what’s on his mind. “Exactly! And I can’t stop thinking about what that bastard did to you!”

Alex slams his hands on the table which causes Tubbo to flinch and drop his spoon. “He’s not him! He has nothing to do with him!”

Alex stands up and Phil does the same as he holds up his hands towards the pair. “Alright you two that’s enough. Let’s just give it some time. Rushing things isn’t going to help anybody in this situa—”

“We’re going to bed.” Alex wastes no time in picking Tubbo up who reluctantly wraps his arms around his papa’s neck and lets himself be carried away.

Kristin tries to call out to her son, but it’s no use. Alex has already made up his mind and makes his way down to the basement before anybody can stop him.

Alex and Kristin sit in the living room quietly, each holding a cup of coffee. Tubbo sits on the floor in front of the living room table eating a bowl of cereal before finally breaking the silence. “Where's Abuelo?”

Kristin looks at the boy but Alex doesn’t move an inch, still staring out the window with a tired expression. He’d clearly been crying last night.

“He had to go home for a while,” Kristin explains. “Hey Tubbo, do you want to try out any of your new toys? There’s plenty to pick from.”

Tubbo notices the smile on Kristin’s face but it isn’t enough to cheer him up. He shakes his head no and finishes his breakfast without another word.

Tubbo peaks through the curtains as a car pulls up outside of the house. He notices a few reporters walk up to the car and starts asking the man inside questions. For the most part the amount of press and members of the public has thinned out substantially. A police officer keeps the reporters from coming too close to the house as the lawyer makes his way to the front door.

“C’mon Tubbo, step away from the window.” Alex lays on the couch with a hand on his head but sits up when Kristin opens the door to let the lawyer inside.

After a short greeting Kristin, Phil, and Alex all sit at the dining room table filling out papers and discussing legal actions. Tubbo sits on the kitchen tile with a blank piece of paper and a box of crayons in front of him. The box reads “64 pack” but Tubbo picks his colors carefully. Red, orange, yellow, green, and blue. The same colors he used in Room. Tubbo occasionally glances up at the others before scribbling on his paper

Alex finishes filling out another form and hands it to the lawyer who puts it in a pile and brings up a new topic. “Something else we should consider is some form of media strategy.”

“I don’t think we're ready for that yet,” Kristin informs.

“I understand, but you should also consider the expenses going forward. A prime time interview, just one, means a lot of money. The donations help but it doesn’t add up to much in the great scheme of things.”

Alex lets out a sigh and Kristin says what he’s thinking. “We’ll consider it, but it’s not something that we’re interested in right now.”

Alex looks down at Tubbo’s drawing and smiles for a moment before his positive mood fades. He notices the lack of colors on the page and it sets something off inside of him.

“Tubbo you have all these colors. You should use them. You can draw a field of flowers with every color.”

Tubbo ignores his papa and keeps coloring with the set he’s picked out. Alex wants to pry further, to beg his son to move out of his comfort zone, but his mother gives him a look. It’s a look that says “he’s okay” and Alex goes back to reading over documents.

Boxes are spread around the basement, some filled with old papers, others with photo albums, one box even has some toys in it. Alex sits on the floor going through one of the boxes and Tubbo curiously peaks inside.

“What’s this one?” Tubbo points to a square book with stickers plastered on the front.

Alex pulls the book out of the box and wipes the dust off of the cover. A blank label on the top has “sports” written on it. “This has pictures in it from when I was in school.”

Alex opens the book and flips through the pages. The first half of the book contains photos of Alex as a kid performing a variety of activities, mostly soccer. The second half of the book shows Alex mostly in high school and he stops on a particular page.

“Look at this one.”

Alex takes one of the photos out from its slot and hands it to Tubbo. It shows Alex, around fifteen years old, racing against other students his age.

“You know who that is?”

Tubbo takes a moment to think before confidently asking, “You?”

“Yep,” Alex confirms and slides the photo back into its original spot. “During one of my track meets.”

That causes Tubbo’s eyes to widen. “Real track?”

Alex chuckles and nods his head. “Real track. I was the fastest one on my team, even though I was the shortest one.”

Tubbo gazes at the photo for a bit longer before pointing to the one beside it. “Who’s that?”

The photo shows Alex in his track uniform with two people beside him. The tallest of the three has black hair and blue eyes. He’s wearing a football uniform along with a white headband. The person next to him is slightly shorter and has messy brown hair with blueish-grey eyes. He’s wearing a soccer uniform and has his arms hooked around the other boys’ shoulders.

“These were two of my best friends. The one to the right is Sapnap and the one in the middle is Karl. I met Karl when we used to play Soccer together and I met Sapnap because of him.”

“Sapnap is a weird name.”

“Yeah it’s a little silly, but it’s what we called him. He never told us his real name. Y’know sometimes they would call me Quackity.”

“Quackity? Why Quackity?”

Alex shrugs. “It was just a nickname… Do you know what happened to them?”

“No.”

“Exactly.” Alex closes the book with a sigh and places it back into the box. “Nothing. They just lived their lives like normal.”

Alex stands up and shifts the boxes so that they’re not in the way. He hands Tubbo a pair of pajamas and starts getting ready for bed. His son gets the hint and does the same.

“Papa?”

“Yes?”

“How long are we gonna be here for?”

Alex finishes getting changed and helps Tubbo into bed. “We live here now. We’re gonna be here for as long as we need to.”

Tubbo wakes up in the middle of the night. He sits up quickly with a startled look on his face and tears in his eyes. His heart beats quickly and he tries to calm down from the nightmare he just had. He turns to Alex for comfort, but his papa isn't there. Starting to panic again, Tubbo scrambles out of bed and makes his way upstairs.

There’s noise coming from the living room and Tubbo decides to investigate. As he gets closer he can make out Phil’s voice specifically.

“It’s no problem at all. We’ll all sleep better now.”

The lawyer’s voice comes from the phone for the whole room to hear. “I thought you’d want to know.”

Alex and Kristin hug each other tightly, both in tears with smiles on their faces. “It’s a good day,” Kristin emits as she kisses her son’s forehead.

Tubbo lets out a whimper and everyone turns to face him. “You were gone..” Tubbo sniffles and Alex takes a step closer to the boy.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Alex opens his arms in a welcoming manner and Tubbo walks over to him with a nod. “Hey it’s okay. You wanna know something awesome? Schlatt’s gonna go to jail for a really long time.”

“I already know Schlatt is in jail.. It said it on TV.”

“Yeah but now he’ll be there for ever and ever. We won’t have to see him ever again. I won’t have to talk to a judge or any of those scary things. Isn’t that cool?”

Tubbo doesn’t really understand but he agrees with his papa anyways. “And then we can have more time together?”

“That’s exactly right. We can stop worrying now and start doing all the things that we want.” Alex pulls Tubbo close and they hold each other until they both feel like they’ll pass out right then and there if they don’t get to bed. “I think sleep sounds like a good idea.”

They both tell Kristin and Phil goodnight before heading back down the basement and settling into bed. This is good. This is great! Things are finally starting to go their way. Alex is praying to whoever will listen for things to keep getting better. This is exactly what the two of them need.

Chapter Text

Tubbo sits on the bed, twisting the edge of the sheet in his hand with a bored expression on his face. He turns his attention next to him where Alex still lays asleep closer to the wall. It doesn’t seem like his papa is going to wake up anytime soon and Tubbo is tired of waiting. He tosses the sheet from his legs and slowly makes his way up the basement steps.

He peeks out the half-open door, searching for any forms of life. He can hear voices but he has no idea who they belong to. He slips through the crack of the door and cautiously steps towards the living room. He stops behind the couch when he notices three figures by the front door. One of them is Phil but the boy has no idea who the other two are. They’re leaving anyway. Phil escorts the detective and the officer out the door with a formal farewell.

When Phil turns around he nearly jumps, unaware that Tubbo had woken up and that he’s currently being stared down by the child. He looks away and pretends that he doesn’t see him while Tubbo shrinks from where he stands, curling behind the couch as if trying to say he was never there. Phil buys into it and starts whistling a soft tune, placing his hands on his hips and looking around the entryway like he’s trying to make up his mind about something important.

“Gee I sure am hungry,” Phil blurts out, more coherent than he normally would be. “I think I have something delicious brewing in the kitchen.” He pads to the kitchen with a quick glance towards Tubbo before pretending to be oblivious of his presence once more.

It was a lie—well technically at least. Phil isn’t actually cooking anything but he still opens the cupboard and pulls out an unopened box of lucky charms. In an instant the bright colors on the packaging draw Tubbo’s attention. Like many things, Tubbo has never had lucky charms before. Alex would be upset if he knew that his son had indulged in such a sugary breakfast…but Alex isn’t here right now and Phil is no snitch.

The Brit opens the box and then the bag inside, pouring the cereal into a bowl but leaving a second bowl on the counter. He opens the fridge to grab some milk and peers behind him. Tubbo is edging towards the kitchen and Phil knows that he’s caught his attention. “You can have some,” he offers, officially dropping the act. “I promise I won’t tell your dad.”

And that was enough to convince Tubbo. Phil smiles as the boy inches towards the table. It’s clear that he’s still shy but that’s to be expected. Phil is happy with the littlest of progress that he’s making. He sets the first bowl down on the table in front of Tubbo and pours himself the second bowl before taking a seat on the opposite side of the table.

There’s a good few minutes of quietness (aside from silverware clanking against the bowls) before Phil tries to break the silence. “What do ya’ think? Pretty good huh?”

Tubbo looks up from his meal to nod in response. He doesn’t seem as impressed as he thought he would be, but Phil doesn’t mind in the slightest.

“Yeah maybe it’s a little sweet.” Phil assumes that Tubbo will continue to remain soundless after that comment, but to his surprise the boy actually speaks to him.

“Do you really have a dog?” The words come out rather softly, but Tubbo seems to have a sense of confidence.

Phil’s smile widens and he nods his head. “Yep, sure do. Bully isn’t scary though. He’s one of the nicest dogs you’ll ever meet, but be careful of his tail. It’s like a tennis racket with how hard it’ll whack you.”

“I used to have a cat called Rocky. But he’s not real.”

“Oh really?”

“He lived in Room.”

The comment is so blunt that it catches Phil off guard. He knows that it shouldn’t. Tubbo has only known one place his entire life so that has always been his normal, but it still leaves a bitter feeling inside of him. He continues with his meal before deciding to change the subject. “Y'know I have a grandson that’s around your age.”

Tubbo pauses momentarily. He has never met another kid before. The idea of a potential friend intrigues him. “You do?”

“Yup. They don’t live here though,” Phil explains disappointingly. “They live in another country.”

“Con..tree?” That’s definitely a new word for Tubbo. He’s never learned about geography. He never needed to in Room.

“Mhm. Have you heard of the ocean?”

At least that’s something the boy is familiar with. He remembers seeing water on the wildlife channel. He remembers seeing the turtle that he asked his papa about. That was the ocean if he could recall correctly. “I thinked I saw it on TV.”

“Well some of the land on earth is divided by the ocean. I used to live on the other side of it. That’s where my family is. They’re in a country called the United Kingdom.”

Tubbo tries to imagine what the earth looks like from far away, with land divided by the ocean. He doesn’t understand why the earth would be divided anyways. He can’t seem to think of just how big the ocean is either. It looked so big on TV but he wonders how far the sea really goes. He wonders how far the earth goes. He’s never truly seen either before.

Alex finally wakes up a few hours later, although he doesn’t wake up on his own. He hears a voice—an annoying voice that’s high pitched and innocent. It sounds familiar. He tries to open his eyes but he can’t move at all, his entire body feeling like cement. It feels like he’s asleep yet he swears that he’s awake. He tries to move again, this time twitching his fingers, but he’s still weighed down on the bed.

It gets worse. The trapped feeling somehow gets heavier and the noises get louder. It isn’t just a voice anymore, no, there’s a shifting sound. There’s four beeps; four distinct agonizing chimes that scream at him to stand back, but he still can’t move. It sounds like a door, metal and cold swinging open but he can’t see it. He can’t see anything in his state except for darkness.

His breathing starts to pick up and he can’t seem to open his eyes. It feels as though he’s clawing at the sheets underneath him but he knows for certain that his body won’t move. His worry turns into dread when he hears that high pitched voice yell out, “We need your help!”

All he can think about is his son. Tubbo... where’s Tubbo? Why can’t he move? Why can’t he see? Why can’t he scream for his child? What if Tubbo needs him? Alex can hear the voice continue. He can hear himself gasping for air and all he wants to do is find his baby. What if Tubbo is the one crying out for help? Where is he!? He has to find his son!

So he finally manages to speak but only in the void of his mind. Alex calls out for Tubbo. He wails out his name over and over again, seemingly getting louder without his lips even moving. He tries clawing at sheets again, tries opening his eyes or twitching his fingers. Move dammit! Find him! Find your baby! And finally when he screams the name for the sixth time it actually escapes from his tongue.

“TOBY!”

Alex sits up in a cold sweat, his breath heavy and his eyes wide with fear. He looks over at Tubbo who sits on the floor with a shocked expression on his face. His papa looks closer to notice a phone in the boy’s hands, the screen displaying a random video of Dora the Explorer.

“..Tubbo turn that off..”

The boy doesn’t move, his expression frozen in place and the words don’t even register in his head as he tries to figure out why his papa had just screamed his name. The video continues playing and that annoying little voice rings louder in Alex’s ears.

“Tubbo, please! Turn it off!” Alex’s breathing starts to quicken and he grips his head. He needs the noise to stop. He can’t go back there. He can’t be stuck in there again.

Tubbo tries, he really does, but he’s so used to tuning out the yelling that he doesn’t know how to handle it. He and Alex had gotten into little arguments before, but the way the older had screamed when he woke up took Tubbo by surprise. He finally snaps out of his thoughts when his papa stands up from the bed, storming over to his son and prying the phone out of Tubbo’s hand before turning the device completely off.

Tubbo nearly protests but is stopped as Alex picks him up, the boy trying to squirm out of his arms and failing. Alex rushes into the empty living room and stops short of a pile of gifts. He sets Tubbo down and gestures towards the boxes and bags in front of them before saying, “Look! You have all these toys. These were gifts that people gave to you. Why don’t you use them?” It’s a mix between a genuine question and an offer.

Tubbo crosses his arms, taking a step back as if he’s trying to head back to the basement. “I don’t want to.” He takes another step back and it doesn’t go unnoticed.

Alex starts to feel frustrated again. He doesn’t understand how Tubbo couldn't want the things that are supposed to bring children joy. He can’t seem to piece together that Tubbo wasn’t raised in a materialistic world. “Other kids would love to have all of these gifts! Here, look, these are Legos,” he explains as he grabs one of the bins from the pile. He takes off the lid and dumps the pieces onto the floor without care. He hurriedly snaps two pieces together and holds it up for Tubbo to look at. “See how I did it? Good now you try.”

Tubbo nearly flinches as the example is thrown into the pile and Alex marches over to the couch, plopping himself down on it while hiding his face in his hands. He doesn’t hear the footsteps in the kitchen nor the figure that stands there staring at him afterwards. He’s trying too hard not to break down to care about anything else going on.

It takes him a couple minutes but he manages to get his breathing back to normal. He looks up from his hands and watches Tubbo trying to pry Legos apart from each other. The silence is killing Alex so out of desperation, he tries to start a conversation. “Is it fun?”

Tubbo glances up at the couch for a moment, not moving his head and only his eyes. He ignores the comment and goes right back to the Legos, although his face looks unamused—as if he’s being forced to play with his toys. He pretty much is being forced without either of the two realizing it.

“Tubbo, can you answer me?” The frustration starts to return again. Alex hates the silence. He hates that this doesn’t feel like a normal situation. He hates that he’s feeling aggravated. “Toby!”

The figure in the kitchen travels to the living room, giving Alex a stern look from across the space. He doesn’t need to look over at her to realize it’s his mother. Kristin doesn’t speak, she just stands there with an expression that’s turned somewhat sympathetic.

Alex is the first to speak, to no one’s surprise. “Tubbo needs something real to do. I’m getting worried about him being on the phone all the time.” His words are quieter. He’s clearly upset but not as angry.

“He’s fine,” Kristin attempts to reassure.

A hint of aggression returns in Alex’s voice as he bites back. “Yeah well I don’t give him my phone so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t give him yours.”

“Okay, I won’t.” Kristin’s response is blunt. She doesn’t feel like arguing but there’s still a hint of attitude, mirroring her son’s tone of voice.

There’s another long awkward pause. Alex accepts it this time. He sinks further into the couch and fights the tears that try to escape. He doesn’t want to cry in front of his mom, or in front of his son for that matter. It takes him a while but he finally breaks the silence once more. “I just want him to connect with something.. Y’know?”

Kristin sighs defeatedly and makes her way to sit beside him. She reaches up to move a strand of hair out of her son’s face, tucking it behind his ear as she tells him, “He’s really doing fine, mijo.”

Alex shakes his head and hides his face again. He’s distressed—afraid. He screws his eyes shut and allows a few tears to fall into his hands. It’s all he’ll allow himself, though. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I can’t feel anything. Even for..” His words trail off but he manages a gesture towards the boy on the carpet. He’s grateful that Tubbo is too distracted to notice.

Kristin doesn’t say anything, just gives her son a saddened look. Alex can feel her eyes burning into him even without looking up at her. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he continues. “I’m supposed to be happy…”

Kristin moves this time. She lays her hand on Alex’s shoulder and her expression turns the most gentle that it has been so far. She can’t understand what’s going on inside her child’s mind, but she’s positive that it isn’t easy. “You just need rest,” she recommends to him softly.

Her hand is suddenly shoved again and Alex finally looks at her, his brows are furrowed and his eyes are darker than normal. He’s too cross for this to end on a good note. “No I don’t! That’s not what I need right now!” He scoots away somewhat, trying to distance himself from Kristin just as Tubbo had done to him moments ago.

A part of Kristin misses Depressed Alex. He’s at least more tolerable than Angry Alex, but she does her best to keep her own emotions at bay. Her son needs her right now and the most important thing for her to do is remain calm. “That’s what the doctor—”

“NO!” Alex shouts back. “That’s NOT what the doctor said! That’s NOT what he said and you don’t know what he said because it was a confidential conversation and you WEREN’T there for it!”

“Alright Alexis, fine!” Kristin stands from the couch with her hands raised defeatedly. Her words are far more sour now having clearly given up on keeping her temper down. “It’s like pulling teeth with you whenever we talk now.”

And that expression breaks something in Alex, something that’s probably been broken for far too long already. It makes him want to vomit. Makes him want to scream at the world and confess that he feels more in hell here now than he did for those six years in Room. He doesn’t cry, or scream, or vomit though.. he just yells more. “Oh I’m sorry!”

“No you aren’t, Alexis!” Kristin sees the obvious lie behind the apology and the constant use of her son’s full name is like another jab at the cracks.

“Yeah damn right I’m not! You have no idea what’s going on in my head right now!”

“Well then tell me!” Kristin chokes back tears and is forced to lower her tone in order to stop the dam from breaking. She sighs before adding, “I’m trying to help you, Alex. I’ve asked you—”

“And then what? Everytime you look at me that’s all you’re gonna see!?”

“I will see my son!”

“You don’t need me!” Alex hiccups and looks at Kristin with disgust. “…you’ve been doing just fine without me.”

Kristin scoffs, shock adorned on her face. “How can you honestly say that!? Do you think you’re the only one whose life was destroyed!?”

“YES!” Alex shoots up from the couch, not even noticing the boy that flinches on the carpet. “THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK!”

“Oh yeah!? Well how would you feel if someone took Toby away from you!? You should be thinking about him!” Kristin points a finger at Tubbo who’s covering his ears now. He doesn’t look scared, just annoyed.

“Shut up! Don’t you EVER tell me how to look out for my son! And y’know what, I'm sorry that I’m not nice anymore. But hey maybe if your voice saying ‘be nice’ hadn’t been in my head all those years ago, I NEVER WOULD HAVE HELPED THE GUY WITH THE FUCKING SICK DOG!!”

Alex stands there with a scowl on his face, catching his breath after the argument and collecting his thoughts. He’s come to a final conclusion: he can’t keep doing this anymore. “Stay there Toby,” he says sternly and makes his way towards the basement. “I’m calling the fucking lawyer. I’m not spending another week in this shithole.”

Tubbo doesn’t move an inch besides uncovering his ears and lowering his hands. Kristin takes a step, about to pull the boy in for a hug but he stiffens and Kristin makes the better decision to give him some space.

Tubbo doesn’t see Alex again until later in the afternoon when he wanders into the basement. He sees his papa sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the wall across from him. His cheeks are stained with tears and his eyes are slightly red but he isn’t actively crying. He seems tired more than anything. He looks over at his son when he hears a creak from the wooden steps.

“Come here, Tubbo.” Alex extends his arms to welcome the boy in a tight hold. Tubbo is happy to oblige and he buries his face into his papa’s shirt. Alex rubs his son’s back and whispers an apology, a sorry for the way he’s been acting and a sorry for the official choice that he’s made. “We’re gonna have to move away from here someday.”

Tubbo pulls away slightly, enough to look up at his papa with gloomy eyes. “But what about Abuela? Do we have to moves away?..”

Alex runs his fingers through Tubbo’s hair in an attempt to soothe him. It had taken time to get him situated in his old home.. in a place that wasn’t Room, but they needed their own space. Alex needs a place to call his own without anybody else dictating the way he lives. That’s all he’s ever known. “We're going to get our own house. It’s gonna have a yard for you to play in. We’re gonna get to do all kinds of things.”

“Will we see Abuela and Phil?..”

“Of course,” Alex assures. He forces a smile, it isn’t necessarily fake, but there’s still something about it that holds sadness. “We’ll live close by, I promise.”

It’s enough to bring Tubbo’s spirits back up. He leans back into his papa’s hold and closes his eyes. It’s been a long day for both of them. Alex knows that the days will only get longer, but he hopes that they can find peace again soon. He’s willing to wait out sleepless nights if that means they can find closure some day.

Chapter Text

Tubbo sits at the top of the stairs leading to the basement. The door is halfway closed, still offering the boy a glimpse at the chaos taking place throughout the living room. There’s boxes, cables, bright lights, people. It’s different from all of the people at the hospital. So much more cramped and everyone is loud and constantly moving. The only thing—or person rather—that Tubbo recognizes is a middle aged woman that he’d seen on TV before.

The woman seems to be in her late 40s or early 50s, somewhere around Kristin’s age, although that’s all Tubbo can go off of. She has a gentle look on her face, easily mistaken for kindness, yet something about her makes Tubbo feel uneasy. He can’t quite put his finger on what it is that’s throwing him off but in fairness the entire situation is overwhelming.

Before the boy can think any more about it, Phil is standing in front of him and ushering for him to follow. Tubbo reluctantly obeys and is led to one of the rooms in the hallway that he’s never been in before. It seems to be a study of sorts with bookshelves along the walls and a desk near a window on the other side of the door.

There’s a pile of toys in the corner and Phil gestures towards them. “Figured you’d want something to keep you entertained,” the man explains. “Remember what your dad said, you’re not supposed to hear him talk to the people.”

“But why?” Tubbo asks with an annoyed pout. “I’m five. I’m big now. I know everything so why can’t I hear?”

Phil looks at the toys sympathetically and lets out a sigh. He wishes that he could tell the boy what’s going on, how his papa is being interviewed because being stuck in a shed for six years is not a normal occurrence, but it’s not his place to tell him. “Your dad is the one who decides what you can and cannot listen to. I can’t make that choice. I’m sorry.”

And Tubbo can’t argue with that. He wants to know more about what’s going on, what all the cords and cameras are for, but he accepts his inability and sits down in the corner. He can’t find it in himself to actually play with the toys so he picks up a small teddy bear only to stare at it. It reminds him of his bee in a sense, the way it feels, but he discarded that long ago in Room. He wonders if he’ll ever see Room again. He hopes so.

Kristin watches from the other side of the living room, the lawyer standing next to her. Alex sits in a chair in the center of the room across from the hostess of the interview. He flinches against the hands that fix his hair and makeup but he keeps quiet. He agreed to do this.. he needs the money. He’d already been made aware that he can deny a question at any point if he’s uncomfortable.

Once the makeup artist is finished with their touch ups, the hostess smiles at Alex and he gives her a nod informing her that he’s ready to start with the interview. The mics that are pinned to their shirts are checked one last time before the cameras start filming and the hostess looks away from the stack of cards in her hands, speaking first. Alex sits up straight and pretends to look more interested than he actually is.

“You are an amazing, inspiring, courageous young man. I know all our viewers are amazed by the endurance and inner strength you displayed during your ordeal. Truly, an amazing test of character.”

Alex can’t help but feel like a majority of her words are forced, simply exaggerated sentences written down by somebody else on a piece of paper, but he has to ignore it. His best bet is to keep a straight face and address the hostess when he’s spoken to.

“Thank you,” he utters kindly. “Thank you so much. I hope they all know how much their thoughts and prayers have meant the last few weeks. To our whole family.” It’s a lie, or at least half a lie. He’s grateful for all of the gifts and good blessings that he’s received since he’s been home, but there is only so much a stranger’s words can help in a situation like this.

“Did you ever think that you would see this house again?”

Alex already has to think about the first question. They’ve barely started yet he has to pull himself back into his mindset from all those years ago. He can’t even remember if he believed he would get out. Maybe on the first day he did. He thought that maybe Schlatt would let him go once he was done taking what wasn’t his, but why would a monster let go of something that was so easily obtainable? He could just keep taking every night for the next six years so long as his prisoner couldn't open the door.

“I had hoped,” Alex finally responds. “I really didn’t know if I’d ever step outside again.. but I prayed that I would.”

“I’m sure you must have felt hopeless at times though, right?”

Alex sighs before answering honestly, “Almost all the time. I think I might have been a little optimistic at first, but after days turned into weeks and then into months I just felt like maybe nobody was coming for me..”

“In those dark times, did you ever have thoughts of taking your own life?”

The question is so straightforward that Alex doesn’t even know how to respond. The lawyer tries to intervene, telling the hostess, “I feel that my client is troubled by that—”

The hostess puts her palm up to the man but doesn’t face him. She only wants to shut the lawyer up. “Just give him a minute.”

“I’d like to skip that question,” Alex explains uncomfortably.

“Of course. Let’s move on shall we?” The hostess shuffles through her note cards before choosing a new question that she deems less intruding. “When Toby arrived was it different for you then?”

‘How could it not have been?’ Alex thinks to himself. He hadn’t wrapped his head around the idea of being a parent until he was already delivering his child into the world. There was no one there to help him. He was alone on that rug screaming and crying while the only thing he could do was trust his body to know what it was doing.

But despite it all—despite the agony and the walls that surrounded him in that moment—he was still gifted with a son that he would never stop loving. He had been so scared, but the life that wailed in his arms needed him.. and he needed Tubbo just as much.

Alex fights to keep tears from forming in his eyes. He just wants to answer these questions and get it over with. “Everything was different when Toby came along. He was so beautiful.. and I just knew that I had to keep him safe.”

“And by all accounts he is a normal, high-functioning, happy little boy. Amazing. You made life as normal and nurturing as you could given the environment. You gave him a childhood. How did you manage to do that?”

Alex gives a little shrug. He honestly doesn’t know how he managed to do it. “I didn’t– I never thought about it like that. I didn’t plan it. When I found out I was pregnant with Toby it just seemed like a terrible joke. How do you bring someone into that place? It felt so wrong.. It felt like the universe was making me seem like the bad guy..”

The hostess gives Alex a sad smile but she doesn’t speak. It doesn’t seem like she’s actually trying to be reassuring. She just wants to look better for the camera. “When Toby’s older are you going to tell him about his father?”

Alex scoffs before stating bluntly, “Toby isn’t his.”

The hostess’s eyes widen in shock. She’s convinced she’s just received an amazing scoop, something that the viewers are going to tear apart as an entertaining meal. “I’m sorry are you– are you implying that there were other men?”

“What?” Alex's face contorts into confusion and disgust. It takes him a second to realize the other’s misinterpretation. “No what I mean is.. A father loves his child. He’s supposed to be there for them and make them feel cared about.”

The hostess nods her head but it’s clear that she’s disappointed. It only makes Alex feel more repulsed, but the woman continues with her questions. “Yes, that’s true in a very real sense, but there’s still the biological relationship—”

Alex cuts her off, correcting her statement. “That’s not a relationship. Toby is nobody else’s except mine.”

“Right.. Let’s change the subject.” The hostess looks somewhat annoyed though it’s barely readable on her face. She glances at one of her colleagues before looking over her notecards and then choosing her next question. “Did it ever occur to you to ask your captor to take Toby away?”

Alex is taken aback. He’s almost confused by the question, though maybe it’s his mind trying to deny the fact that he never even considered doing something like that. “Away?..”

“To leave him outside a hospital so he'd be found.”

Alex’s face is still twisted with confusion. He shakes his head and fights the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes. “Why– Why would I—”

“So that Toby could be free.. Now that is the ultimate sacrifice of course, but did you think about him having a normal childhood?”

“But—” Alex’s words sound choked. One wrong move and he knows for sure that he’ll break down. “He had me...”

“But was that really the best thing for him?”

The lawyer steps in again, seeing his client clearly distressed. Kristin nearly interrupts as well, but she stops when she sees her son stand from his seat. “I think I’m done,” Alex says brokenly. He tears off his mic pack, much to the film crew’s disapproval, but he couldn’t care less. He just needs to get away. He shouldn’t have done this. Why did he think this would be easy? He hands his mic to a nearby cameraman before rushing off to his room, leaving everyone else in silence.

Alex sits at the dining room table. He’s alone, seeing as everyone else has already turned in for the night. He’s relieved that Tubbo hasn’t woken up. As much as he loves his son he truly doesn’t feel like he can look at the boy right now. Ironic really. He had yelled at Sam for doing the same thing.

He doesn’t notice that he’s crying until he sees his tears hit the wood of the table. He can’t help but be reminded of all the nights he spent alone crying to himself while Tubbo slept. Alex leans back in his chair and stares up at the ceiling. There’s no skylight here.. not like in Room. He hates himself for thinking that maybe it would have been better if he had stayed back there. At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with judgmental eyes or whispers from people telling him that he’s doing everything wrong.

No matter how hard Alex tries he can’t get everyone’s words out of his head. They’re right. They’re all fucking right. He wasn’t meant to be a parent. Why didn’t he let Tubbo go? Why did he keep him trapped in that hellhole for five godforsaken years? He had said it himself; it felt like a sick joke to do that to someone… So why had he trapped his child in that same prison? Was it just for his own selfish want? So that he wouldn’t have to be alone? Look where that got him. He’s still alone isn't he?

All of his questions swirl in his head along with the disapproval. It’s becoming too much. Sam left him to go back home. Kristin hates the person he’s become. The hostess thinks he’s a horrible parent. Even his fucking doctor doesn’t agree with the choices he’s made. Everybody has been trying to help him and he keeps pushing them all away. He hasn’t even been taking the pills that his doctor prescribed him.

In the broken mess of his mind he attempts to piece everything together. He wants to find something stable—to grasp onto a solid thought instead of drowning in everything all at once. He tries to steady his breathing and that finally helps him focus ever so slightly. He feels a sense of relief until the same question plays repeatedly in his head: ‘Was that really the best thing for him?’

Alex clasps a hand over his mouth to keep a sob from escaping. Why? Why did that have to be what his mind settled on? But she was right. They’re all fucking right. He wasn’t meant to be a parent. Tubbo didn’t need him. His son would be better off with somebody else. Kristin would be better off without the constant arguing. She could be happy with Phil and without him. Sam clearly didn’t need him. None of them did. He was only making everything worse.

He remembers the pills; the medication for his wrist. The bottle was still mostly empty. There would be enough. Alex gets up from the table and hurries to the bathroom, immediately reaching for the medicine cabinet. He finds the bottle waiting inside and he doesn’t waste any time grabbing for it, fumbling with the lid before finally getting the cap off. His heart is racing and he can’t focus on anything other than the containments of the bottle. ‘They don’t need you. They don’t want you. Spare them. Let them be happy.’

He doesn’t so much as hesitate before emptying the pills into the palm of his hand and shoving them into his mouth. He fills the now empty bottle with water from the sink and drinks it, pushing every last pill down his throat. Once his mouth is hollow, he closes the cabinet and stares into the mirror. He barely recognizes himself anymore. His hair is longer than it had been in years, he has dark circles under his eyes, and his skin is somehow paler than it had been in Room. He knows it isn’t from the medication. It hasn’t been long enough yet. This is just what he’s become and he hates it.

Tubbo almost isn’t surprised when he wakes up in the middle of the night all by himself. This has happened a couple times already, but he still starts to panic. He doesn’t like sleeping without his papa. He crawls out of bed and crawls up the stairs. He tiptoes down the hallway seeing the light on from underneath the bathroom door. He remembers the rule that his papa had told him about always knocking first so he lightly taps his knuckles against the door.

Tubbo hears coughing from inside but he continues to wait a moment. After a few more seconds he knocks again, this time turning the handle and trying to open the door only for it to stop after cracking a couple inches. He tries to push it further but it won’t budge. Suddenly the coughs turn into heaves and Tubbo starts to panic. He runs down the hall and bangs on his abuela’s door. Kristin and Phil are quick to open it wanting to find out what’s wrong.

“The bathroom door won’t come unstuck!” Tubbo exclaims frantically.

Phil kneels down and places his hands on the boy’s shoulders, attempting to calm him down. Neither of the three are aware of the true severity of the situation and Kristin eases slightly. “Don’t worry Tubbo, we just have to give it a little push.”

Their concern starts to return when a retching sound comes from the bathroom. Kristin tells Tubbo to stay with Phil and she decides to investigate. She’s faced with the same issue of the door being stopped but her strength is enough to push it open further until she can squeeze her head inside. Phil and Tubbo both stare in fear as Kristin screams from the other end of the hall.

“Phil! Call 911!”

The Brit has absolutely no idea what’s going on but he doesn’t hesitate. He pulls Tubbo inside the bedroom, not wanting the boy to try and look at whatever Kristin has discovered and he immediately grabs his phone to dial the number. He tells Tubbo not to move before he runs over to the bathroom and feels a pit in his stomach from what he sees; Alex is laying on the floor, completely out of it and vomiting. Kristin holds him close trying to get him to respond but his body is slack.

Tubbo sits in front of the bed, unable to see into the hallway from his position. He doesn’t know how long he sits there but it feels like hours that he’s covering his ears and trying to focus on anything other than his family’s panicked cries. In reality it’s only about ten minutes before red and blue lights flash through the bedroom window. Tubbo watches them dance on the wall, unsure of what they mean.

He stands up when he hears unfamiliar voices inside of the house and he sneaks towards the bedroom door to learn who’s there. The only thing he sees is Alex being carried by two paramedics and placed on a stretcher. Tubbo bursts into tears and tries to run to them but Phil catches him, lifting him into his arms and holding him close. He bawls into Phil’s shoulder and turns away from the scene, too scared to look again. Kristin grabs her coat and purse before following the paramedics out the front door letting out sobs of her own. How did it all come to this?..

Chapter Text

There’s so much place in the world, but not so much time. The time has to be spread extra thin on the places like butter, so all the persons say hurry up, let’s go, finish now. Papa says he doesn’t know where we go when we’re dead, but wherever that is Papa was in a hurry to get there. He forgot me though so he had to come back and now he’s in the doctor's place again. Abuela is with him. Phil says they’ll be home soon.

Tubbo lays on the floor in the basement. The soft rug on the floor makes it less uncomfortable. It’s almost comforting in the sense that it reminds him of Room, but that isn’t what his mind focuses on. He stares at his open hand, Bad Tooth sitting in the center of his palm. It’s the only piece of his papa that he has. He’s grateful that he has it even if he wishes he could have all of his papa with him.

There’s a gentle knock from the top of the staircase and Tubbo looks up to see Phil standing there with a calm smile on his face. The boy doesn’t make an attempt to move. He only lets his eyes drift back to Bad Tooth and Phil makes his way down the steps. The man sits on the edge of the rug, giving the boy his space but making his presence more aware. Tubbo doesn’t think anything of it until Phil’s phone is held out to him.

“It’s for you,” the Brit explains, only to receive a look of confusion.

Tubbo sits up and stares at the phone for a few seconds before taking it. He reads his papa’s name in bold letters at the top of the screen and he feels a ping of excitement before realizing he still doesn’t know what to do. Ah, his first phone call.

“Here, you hold it up to your ear like this.” Phil gently reaches to position Tubbo’s hand near the side of his head and a voice suddenly comes through the device.

“Toby? Tubbo are you there?..”

It’s Alex. It’s really him. Tubbo’s eyes widen in disbelief but he hasn't felt this happy in a long time. His papa is okay. He’s alive.

“Papa? Is that really you?”

Alex struggles to find his voice for a second. God he feels horrible. He can’t imagine what Tubbo must have felt the night he was rushed to the hospital. The night he… “Hey mijo. It’s been a couple days. How are you doing?”

Tubbo’s response is quick. It comes out soft but there's clear demand in it. Only two words. “Come back.”

Alex’s chest weighs heavy at that. If he could go home in an instant, scoop his son up in his arms and never let go, he would do it in a heartbeat. But the unfortunate truth is that he can’t. “I’m sorry Tubbo but the doctors—”

“Come back now!” the boy interrupts. Phil gives him a concerned look but he doesn’t make any movements. He can hear the distress in Tubbo’s words no matter how angry he tries to seem.

The voice from the other end is as broken as the man who wields it. “I’m gonna be home soon, Tubbo.. Please just give me a couple days—”

Once again his son leaves him no room to compromise. It’s an odd sight; watching a child taking control of the conversation. “No! I pick! I pick for both of us!” Tubbo doesn’t give his papa the chance to continue as he drops the phone on the carpet and leaves the basement. Phil picks it up to apologize but he’s only met with sobs.

The days seem to drag on as if seconds changed to minutes and minutes into hours. It’s unbearable when everyday in Room felt so normal. Even the house after coming home from the hospital never felt so cold. The weather is supposed to be warming, right? Winter turning into spring? And yet the clouds outside block the sun from view and turn everything dreary. Or maybe that’s just because his papa isn't there.

Tubbo tries to distract his mind in any way possible. He draws when he can get the motivation to use the other crayons in the box. He uses the legos from before, building a house by the ocean that he can imagine himself living in. He even makes a UFO out of spare tinfoil he finds in the kitchen.

Kristin and Phil give him the space he needs. That isn’t to say they haven’t tried comforting him, but their efforts are often met with squirms and a shaking head. Tubbo wants to be left alone for a while. Despite the boy missing his papa, it’s clear that he isn’t looking to replace the empty feeling with other bodies. He loves his Abuela of course. He loves Phil just as much, but he needs time.

Kristin finally manages to get through to him on the fifth day when she asks Tubbo if he wants to go to the grocery store. Phil isn’t home and they’ve used up most of the food that was gifted to them, so it’s about time they restock on supplies. Only problem is that Kristin can’t leave a five year old home alone. She doesn’t need to though because, to her surprise, Tubbo actually seems excited to go to the store. For obvious reasons he has never been grocery shopping before.

The “adventure” (as Tubbo likes to call it) takes only a couple of hours, but it brings a smile to the boy’s face by the time they return home. He found a rare treasure while they were there: cake mix. Chocolate flavor of course since Tubbo is making an effort to try new things. Kristin is proud of him. She’s also grateful that all of the fans and media press have moved on with their lives. The street has been completely clear for the past few days. Guess they got bored and finally decided to let the family recover in peace.

Tubbo helps Kristin carry the groceries inside, eager to bake with his abuela but careful not to drop the bags. They aren’t very heavy anyways. He waits patiently at the kitchen table while Kristin puts everything away and gets out the supplies for the cake. She opens the box and takes out the bag of mix, cutting the top so that Tubbo can pour it into the bowl. He does so carefully, not wanting to spill any of it.

He volunteers himself to crack the eggs while his abuela measures out cooking oil into a measuring cup. She pours the cup into the bowl before suddenly realizing just how good the five year old in front of her is at cracking eggs. There isn’t a single piece of shell inside the bowl. The shells that have already been broken appear perfectly split into two halves. “You seem to be rather good at that,” Kristin comments with a warm smile.

Tubbo nods his head as he responds, “I did it with Papa in Room.” His focus never leaves the bowl as he continues cracking through shells with essentially no hassle.

Kristin’s smile fades slightly. She doesn’t know why she finds it so surprising that her grandson had been offered such a luxury in that hell he was raised in. She forces her voice to remain upbeat even if deep down the thought is unsettling to her. “That’s really cool. So what else was there to do there?” She asks, half curious. The other half of her is scared to possibly learn something she may not want to know, but if Tubbo doesn’t want to answer the question then she won’t pry.

The boy doesn’t mind though. Room still seems normal to him even if he has adjusted quickly to the outside world. “We did lots in Room. We colored, and made friends like Egg Snake and Plant, and we watched TV sometimes if Papa let me. Papa taught me to do track!”

That last bit sounded rather enthusiastic which raises another question in Kristin’s mind. “But wasn’t it small? There couldn't have been too much space to do track?”

Tubbo shakes his head before responding excitedly, as if the memories of Room are still fresh in his mind, “Nope! Room was never ending! It went every direction forever and ever.” By now he has finished cracking the eggs so he wipes his hands off with a paper towel before adding, “It was small in Wardrobe though.”

Once again the boy sounds unphased by his own words but that fear in Kristin’s mind grows. He was in a wardrobe? Would he play inside of it? She can only hope. She’s praying that that is the real reason. “..What did you do in Wardrobe?” The question comes out far too meekly. She doesn’t want Tubbo catching on to her concern.

Luckily he isn’t able to sense her fear and he answers the question without any issues. “Sleep. Only when Schlatt would come over.”

So Kristin had been right to be scared. She could feel a pit forming in her stomach. She doesn’t even have the full context as to what would happen when Tubbo was inside of Wardrobe, but she can piece it together on her own. Her mouth goes dry and she can’t speak, but it appears she doesn’t need to say anymore as Tubbo continues on his own.

“Schlatt never paid attention to me though. He was only there for Papa. Sometimes they would talk, but then Schlatt would turn the light off and leave later. Then I could come out of Wardrobe and sleep in bed with Papa. But Papa didn’t like talking after Schlatt left..”

Kristin nearly breaks down after hearing that. Tubbo doesn’t know what Schlatt would do. Thank God he could still keep that piece of innocence throughout everything. She clasps a hand over her mouth and fights so hard to keep her tears from overflowing. She refuses to break down in front of her grandson, especially when his Papa is gone—even though he needs him the most right now. Kristin will just have to push everything to the back of her mind until she can spare a minute to let her emotions out. Now isn't the time however.

“Abuela I really miss Papa..”

Kristin takes a shaky breath and nods her head, choosing to focus on the present instead of the past. Tubbo is what’s important.. not Room. “I know.. I know, I miss him too, but.. he needs some time to uh.. get better. It’ll be easier for her if he has some space.” She tries to be careful with her words, not wanting to give away any unnecessary details.

Tubbo doesn’t respond after that. He resorts to beating the ingredients together with a whisk and Kristin doesn’t have the energy to do anything other than watch him. She gets lost in thought for a few minutes until the front door opens and both of them turn to see who it is. To no surprise, Phil walks into the living room. What is surprising is that he isn’t alone.

Tubbo gasps excitedly before blurting out, “Is that Bully!?” He grabs a towel from the kitchen counter and wipes his hands with it before jumping off of the step stool he stood on. The boy wastes no time in running up to the bull terrier, freezing right in front of him and looking up at Phil for permission.

Phil nods his head with a smile, telling him, “Go on. You can pet him. I promise he’s friendly. Might be a little antsy though since he hasn’t been home in so long.”

Tubbo grins and sticks out his hand to pat Bully’s head who in turn jumps on the boy, licking his face. Kristin and Phil both take a step forward in fear that it’s too much for Tubbo to handle all at once, but the laughter that echoes in the room tells them that the boy is more than okay. Turns out an animal companion really was a good idea. It will help distract Tubbo’s mind for the time being.

Phil helps Tubbo stand up once Bully calms down and Kristin excuses herself, informing the two that she has to take a phone call. The terrier though—far less rambunctious than he was a moment ago—still seems to have a lot of energy left over. Phil gets an idea and looks at the boy again before asking him, “want to take Bully for a walk?” Tubbo eagerly agrees and heads downstairs to get changed into warmer clothing.

A few more days pass by and time seems to slow down once again. After the initial joy of having a dog around dwindles, the house starts to get quiet. Even Bully doesn’t appear to bark as much as when he had first arrived. Tubbo sits on the rug in the basement flipping through the photo albums that Alex had shown him before. He notices small similarities between himself and pictures of his Papa as a child. The round face and paler skin being the most noticeable.

Tubbo sighs and peeks at the long strand of hair that falls over his shoulder. He wishes he looked more like his papa. It had never been something he had cared about in Room, but now he finds himself wishing that he had jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes. He has no idea how genetics works, or what they even are for that matter, but he knows enough to realize that his brown hair is from someone he isn’t supposed to think about anymore. Maybe there’s the off chance that he gets it from Sam and it just skips a generation? Though the chances are less likely.

Without giving it another thought, he closes the photo album and heads upstairs. It doesn’t take him very long to find his Abuela sitting on the couch with a book in her hands. She looks up at the boy as soon as he steps into the living room. “Hey Tubbo. Did you need something?”

He nods his head and smiles at her. “I need the scissors,” he explains confidently without giving her any further context.

Kristin lets out a small laugh, setting her book down on the coffee table and standing up. “What do you need the scissors for? Doing some arts and crafts perhaps?”

Tubbo shakes his head and grabs the strand of hair that still sits on his shoulder. He holds out the strand and wiggles it around before stating cheerfully, “I’m gonna cut my hair!”

His abuela lets out a hum as she studies the boy’s hair for a moment. It’s obvious that it has never been cut before. It was so long that it nearly reached his lower back which silently bugged Kristin. She had been wanting to cut it for a while now. “Well you can’t cut your hair all by yourself, but I can cut it for you if you’d like?”

Tubbo nods his head excitedly and moves aside so that he can follow Kristin into the kitchen where she grabs a pair of scissors from a drawer. He can’t help the grin that spreads on his face as he watches her every move. She takes note of his eagerness as she leads the boy to the bathroom in her bedroom.

“Why is it that you want to cut your hair all of a sudden, Tubbo?” Kristin asks curiously as she moves a chair into the bathroom and gestures for her grandson to take a seat.

“I want it to look more like Papa’s,” Tubbo explains simply and sits down in the chair in front of the mirror. “I never cutted my hair before and Schlatt always cutted papa’s. I want mine to be short like his when he was my age!”

That did make a lot of sense. Although Alex had been growing his hair out ever since he’d returned. He hadn’t told his mother the reason that his wrist had been injured, only that the doctors had been worried at first. There was clearly an underlying fear about having his hair cut, but his son seems to be steering in the opposite direction.

Kristin’s smile matches Tubbo’s as she places a towel around his shoulders. It had been so long since she’d done this, but everything was coming back to her in unforgettable waves. “Yknow, I used to cut your dad’s hair when he was a kid,” she informs kindly and begins to wet Tubbo’s hair.

The boy’s eyes light up even more when he hears that. It’s almost like he’s in disbelief but the fact makes him happier nonetheless. “Really!?”

“Mhm. And your grandpa Sam’s hair too. Although your papa was always a lot more picky with how his hair looked. He asked me to give him a mullet one time and I had to talk him out of it.”

Tubbo’s face twists in confusion hearing that. “What’s a mullet?” he asks to which Kristin hopes he doesn’t ask for one in return.

“It’s just a really funny looking haircut, but don’t worry I won’t give you a mullet. I’ll make your hair look like your dad’s when he was little. Just like you asked.”

The bathroom melts into a comfortable silence while Kristin begins peacefully brushing Tubbo’s locks. She uses her hands to cup small amounts of water, wetting his hair to make the entire process easier. He enjoys having this time with his abuela after spending so long trying to be alone. Before long, Kristin is using a hair tie to pull the boy’s hair back into a low ponytail. She excitedly takes the scissors in hand and looks at Tubbo in the mirror.

“Alright, are you ready?” she asks with confident eyes and the boy replies with a high pitched ‘yeah’. She presses the scissors open against the top of the ponytail and starts snipping away until the entire ponytail is detached from his head. “And there it is.” She holds the ponytail in front of Tubbo and he looks at it in awe. He takes it and stares at it while Kristin continues cutting the rest of his hair, cleaning it up to look the way he wanted it.

“It reminds me of Bad Tooth.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” Tubbo takes a second more to stare at the length of hair in his hand and comes up with a brilliant idea. He knows how to make his papa feel better. “When I had to play dead, Papa couldn’t go with me, but I had Bad Tooth the entire time. I can’t be with Papa right now but maybe if he has my hair it’s like I’m with him too.”

Kristin softens and nods her head. Her grandson truly never stopped amazing her. He always saw the best in everything despite all that had happened in his life. She knows that Alex loves him dearly and it breaks her heart to know how much he’s suffered, but through all of it he only ever wanted what was best for his son. Tubbo is his world. “I think that’s an amazing idea, Toby.”

Chapter Text

Alex sits on the hospital bed packing the few belongings he has into a small backpack. Kristin is supposed to pick him up soon but his doctor was kind enough to let him stay in the room for the time being. It almost makes him upset knowing that everyone pities him all over again. The difference this time being that it was his fault he had been in this mess.

He sighs as he considers going downstairs to wait by the front entrance. He still needs to sign some final discharge papers anyways, but just as he’s about to stand up there is a knock at the door. He double checks his phone to make sure that his mom hasn’t texted him yet before saying, “come in!” He assumes it’s either his doctor or possibly a nurse. To his complete and utter surprise, it’s neither.

“...Quackity?”

Alex’s eyes widen in shock at the figures who walk into the room. Not one but two. Two familiar faces that he truly believed he would never see again. He can’t find his voice. What do you even say in this situation? Hey long time no see? So he doesn’t speak. He sits there frozen on the bed and fighting the urge to cry on the spot.

“You’re really back..” one of the visitors lets out so softly that it’s hardly audible.

Alex can’t fight it. He can’t fight the tears that stream down his face. He doesn’t want to fight it—not anymore. He stands up and nearly chokes out a sob but he manages to keep it down. He can’t remember smiling this hard in years. “No way. No fucking way. You guys are here, you’re really here!”

“We’re here? You’ve been gone for six years! We literally didn’t know if we’d ever see you again.”

Before he knows it, he’s being engulfed in warm arms. He buries his face in the other’s shoulder ignoring the long hair that tickles his face. He doesn’t move even when he hears another voice. “Sapnap be careful! Don’t suffocate him.”

Alex shakes his head and makes a noise that’s a mix between a laugh and a cry. He opens his eyes to look at the person standing a few feet away. He opens one of his arms to beckon him into joining the hug and before the three of them know it, they’re on the floor holding each other close and bawling their eyes out. It’s a bittersweet moment. The last people he had expected to see and yet two of the people he had missed the most without even realizing it.

“Karl.. Sapnap.. How did– How did you even know that I..” Alex’s words trail off as he pulls away from the hug, only enough to look at the two but they all hold each other still. They both understand the question he’s trying to ask without him needing to finish it.

“It was my dad who told us,” Sapnap speaks up, wiping away some of his own tears as he does so. “He’s the one that found your little boy actually. He was walking Lucy and.. And yeah..” The warm look on Sapnap’s face is evident to all of them. Alex is so thankful to Daryl—or Bad as they had called him as kids. If it weren’t for him, he doesn’t know if Tubbo would have actually made it out.

“Well.. But we didn’t know it was your kid when Bad told us about it,” Karl explains. “It wasn’t until we saw a picture of you on the news and– I guess your mom never changed her phone number. Thank goodness.”

Sapnap nods his head and adds, “My dad helped us get ahold of her a few days ago and she told us you were here. Thankfully the doctors let us visit you since they said you were leaving today anyways.”

“Yeah.. My mom's coming to get me soon. She should be on her way actually.”

Karl and Sapnap share a look before standing up and helping Alex back to sitting on the bed. They sit on either side of him in a sort of sympathetic silence until one of them speaks up again.

“Q, we’re so sorry.. About everything. We heard about your parents when they uh.. split. Your mom kept trying so hard to find you though. We all did. And it was frustrating because it felt like enough wasn’t being done. Like– Like the cops had more important things to do when there wasn’t any proof that you weren’t still alive!” Sapnap is fuming. His hands are balled into fists and he stares at the floor with pure anger. “And you were. You were alive.. all this time…”

Alex places a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder, helping the man calm down some. Karl talks next. His voice is softer than Sapnap’s, though it always had been. “Things were hard after you left. I couldn’t focus because I just wanted things to go back to normal. I kept forgetting things. School stuff, people’s names, certain memories.. But I never forgot you… And it hurt because we wanted you home so badly..”

Sapnap nods his head in agreement, his hand reaching out to grab Karl’s. Alex takes notice of it but decides not to comment. He feels guilty in a way, even though he knows this wasn’t his fault. This was Schlatt’s fault, all of it. He had ruined all of their lives by taking him. Not just his. Karl notices the shame in Alex’s eyes and he pulls him into another hug. Sapnap rubs Alex’s back as if telling him not to feel guilty.

“But that’s all in the past. You’re here now. You’re finally back and we know that you’re safe even if things are different now.”

Sapnap chuckles a bit before lightly stating, “I can’t believe you had a kid before the rest of us.. I remember you had said you wanted to be a lawyer. That– That you might be too busy to have a family someday..”

Alex nods his head. Maybe those words should have offended him. To most people they probably would have. He didn’t ask for a kid. He didn’t really have a choice in the matter.. but he loves Tubbo. Even if he hadn’t planned on having a kid at sixteen, he still means everything to him.

“Yeah,” he finally says. “Yeah I don’t think any of us were really expecting it but.. but he’s amazing. He’s my world..” There’s a pause before he shrugs his shoulders and continues. “Maybe one day I’ll try to get into law school. I can get my GED and see what happens after that.”

“Y’know Sapnap and I.. um.. before everything happened… we had planned on asking you out,” Karl admits shyly. He starts to feel worried that now isn’t the best time to say it, but he doesn’t know if they’ll ever get the chance if they don’t spit it out now.

Alex is taken aback to put it lightly. It was so out of the blue. He stays silent for a moment, his mind figuring out how to respond. “You guys.. liked me? Like.. liked me liked me? Wait, are you two– like together?”

“Not exactly,” Sapnap answers while shaking his head. “I had confessed to Karl that I liked him back in high school and we dated for a bit but then.. y'know, everything happened. It hadn’t been long enough to really tell anyone we were dating, especially becuase we wanted you with us too. Then after you were gone we stayed friends but it wasn’t the same.”

“That doesn’t mean that there aren't still feelings though.. for you,” Karl lets out gently. “But we also know that you’ve been through a lot, even if we don’t have any of the details. And if you never want to talk to us again– if you want to start over and meet new people then that’s that’s okay. Whatever choice you make we respect. We just wanted to at least see you again while we still had the chance..”

Alex frowns and looks down at his hands which immediately causes Sapnap to intervene. “But there’s no pressure for an answer. There doesn’t have to be anything more than friendship, or even anything at all like Karl said. We can only imagine how things have been for you..” He makes eye contact with Karl. It’s something along the lines of ‘we shouldn’t have told him’ and ‘it’s going to be okay.’

Alex sighs and looks up at the two, turning his head from side to side to give them equal attention. He manages a small smile, but there’s still a hint of sorrow behind it. “Sorry this is.. yeah it’s a lot to take in.. but I would be lying if I said I never felt anything for you guys in the past.” The two beside him visibly cheer up at hearing that, but they don’t speak until Alex is finished.

It’s clear he has more to say so they let him continue. “But I also know that a relationship isn’t something I’ll be able to handle for a while. I need to try and figure everything out still. I need to spend time with my son and show him the world we grew up in; the one he’s never known. Hell, I didn’t even get to finish my own childhood. There’s so much I didn’t get to do.”

He blinks away the tears that rise again, taking a deep breath and letting his eyelids fall shut. “I’ll be starting therapy next week. There’s a lot of stuff I need to work on. I need to sort out my thoughts and my emotions. I need to be better for Toby. I need to be better for myself first. But if.. if you guys are willing to wait for me.. If you’re willing to accept my son.. then I’ll be here. I’ll keep in touch.”

Sapnap and Karl each hold one of his hands. Sapnap runs his thumb over the top of Alex’s knuckles and he opens his eyes to look over at him. “We waited six years for you to come home.. I don’t think we mind waiting however long you need to feel like yourself again. There’s no rush anymore. We can take our time with life.”

“And if you’ll allow us to, we'd love to help you with your son. Whether we’re in a relationship or just friends, we want to be there for you two. You’ve always been there for everyone else.. so let us be there for you...”

Another cry escapes Alex’s throat and the two are holding him close once more. He’s never felt this comforted in his entire life. Just as they had said, he had always put others before himself, but here are his closest friends putting him first. They’re willing to wait for him and cherish him. They want Tubbo to be a part of their family just as much as they want Alex to be a part of it.

“Thank you..” he chokes out devotedly. “Thank you both so much.. for everything. Just give me a little more time. I’m not going anywhere. I promise..” It isn’t just a promise of staying—it’s a promise that one day they can all be happy together. One day.

Tubbo sits on the floor of the living room coloring a picture. Dozens of colored crayons are spilled out on the coffee table as he works diligently. Phil watches him from the kitchen and smiles proudly at his growth. He’s using all of the colors now and his artwork brightens far more. Suddenly there’s a knock at the front door to which Bully starts barking and Tubbo looks up in excitement thinking that it may very well be his papa. Phil goes to answer the door and Tubbo tries to peek at who it is but they seem far too short to be either Alex or Kristin.

Phil calls Tubbo to the door and the boy hesitantly gets up. When Phil moves out of the way there’s a boy around his age standing in the entryway. He’s not quite as thin as Tubbo, nor does he have dark hair like him, but his aqua blue eyes are definitely his first most noticeable feature. His yellow blonde hair certainly doesn’t help him stand out any less.

The other boy waves his hand and cuts the silence with a loud voice. “Hi! My name is Tommy! I seen you once—from my window—but you never come outside.” He holds out a soccer ball to Tubbo but he doesn’t take it so Tommy pulls it back and shrugs. “If you don’t know how to play I can show you. Or we could play something else!”

This kid definitely had a lot of energy. And he sounded weird like Phil. The older man chuckles at Tommy’s antics and turns to face Tubbo. “What do you say, Tubs? Show the neighbor to the backyard. I think you and Tommy will get along well.” The boy nods his head and leads Tommy to the back door, still not saying anything but the blonde doesn’t pry and continues smiling.

Alex feels a wave of emotions when the car pulls into the driveway. He wants to say that they’re all good feelings but there’s still an underlying dread underneath all of it. He glances down at the ponytail he kept in his pocket after Kristin picked him up from the hospital. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t anticipating what Tubbo looks like with short hair. He hears laughter when he gets out of the car and he becomes more curious after that. Kristin tells him to go inside; although, Alex protests that he’s fine helping her with his luggage. She refuses.

Walking into the house feels different. The air feels lighter, and not just because of the chill that drifts in from outside. It’s a good breeze though; spring slowly coming to a start. He sees Phil who greets him before explaining that Tubbo is outside and another jolt of laughter confirms it. Alex makes his way to the backyard, seeing his son turn to face him as soon as he slides the door open. Tubbo gasps and runs up to him at full speed, Alex kneeling down to catch him in his arms and tumbling back from the force of the hug.

He isn’t surprised when he feels tears running down his face. He just holds his son close as they lay on the grass under the cloudy sky. Even if the sun isn’t out and they have to wear a jacket from the breeze, it still feels warm being home and having his baby in his arms again. For the first time in years it actually feels like everything is going to be okay again. There would be bumps in the road, sure, but Alex is determined to heal from his past.

“I missed you so much!” Tubbo exclaims as he sits up, Alex doing the same and scooping the boy into his lap.

“I know, Tubbo. I missed you too mi hijo.” He forces down a rising sob and wipes his eyes despite the fact that the tears don’t stop. He doesn’t mind them though because he doesn’t feel sad. He doesn’t feel angry, or scared, or worthless. He’s happy, and the grin on his face reflects that. “I’m sorry that I left. I promise I won’t do it again. I’m staying with you no matter what, okay?”

“I know,” Tubbo says gently and giggles, wrapping his arms around his papa’s waist to hug him. “Are you better now?” he asks as he looks up with glimmering hope in his eyes.

Alex runs his fingers through the boy’s short hair and kisses the top of his head. “I’m starting to be..”

“Okay,” Tubbo responds happily and accepts the answer without any opposition. He pulls away from the hug but doesn’t stand just yet. “Y’know I don’t care what others say about you. Maybe you’re a good papa or a bad papa but I don’t care, because you’re Papa. You’re my papa.”

Alex nods his head and pulls him close for one more hug, planting a kiss on his cheek and telling him “I love you.” They sit in a content silence for a while longer until Alex unwraps his arms from Tubbo and lets him stand. He gets up and dusts himself off, calmly telling his son, “Okay you can go back to playing with your friend now.”

Tubbo giggles and runs back over to Tommy, the blonde having distracted himself by attempting to do tricks with the soccer ball. The two boys start playing again and Alex walks back inside, finding his mom and Phil in the kitchen. “Everything okay?” Kristin asks and hands him a cup of coffee.

Alex takes it and smiles at how she remembers exactly the way he likes it. The color being just right. He nods before answering. “Yeah.. Yeah I think it’s going to be. I’m going to be seeing a therapist twice a week.” He takes a sip of his coffee and looks out the window at the two kids playing in the yard. “And Tubbo’s doing just fine. I was scared he’d have trouble adjusting but.. He’s just amazing.”

Kristin hums and approaches her son. “Yes he is,” she says and cups Alex’s cheek in her hand, turning his head to look at her. “And you are too. I’m so proud of you. I always have been and I always will be, no matter how harsh life treats you. You’re my son and I will never see you any differently.” Alex lays his head on his mother’s shoulder as she holds him in her own embrace. His hope is back and this time he’s not going to let go of it, not when he knows he can overcome whatever obstacle the universe throws at him.

Papa and I have decided that since there are so many things and we don’t know what we like or don’t like, we’re going to try them all. Sometimes it’s scary but that’s okay because Papa and I still have each other. There's not just Room. There’s the Earth, which is where we live. It’s blue and green and spins so I don’t know how we don’t fall off. Then Outer Space with real planets. Trees are real and people are real too. Papa says that sometimes monsters are real but only the ones that look like other people and not ones on TV.

Alex watches blankly as the police officer pries open the metal door. He never thought he would be here again but Tubbo wanted to see it one last time. Sure, he could have said no, but he didn’t want to deny his son that right. This had been the only life Tubbo had known up until so many weeks ago. The officer leaves and gives them their space, the boy walking into the shed but stopping once he sees the sight before him. It’s practically empty. The barred headboard of the bed is still attached to the wall, the toilet and sink are left intact, a couple of the cabinets are hanging from their hinges, the dead plant on the nightstand is still there, and of course the wardrobe is left standing straight across from the door.

Tubbo starts looking around at everything while Alex stays in the doorway, refusing to step foot inside again. He glances inside grimly but stays quiet. “It’s so small,” Tubbo whispers. “It used to go on and on, forever and ever.. but not anymore.” He approaches the plant and brushes his fingers over its wilted, brown leaves. “Plant never got her flowers.” He steps away and walks over to the wardrobe, opening it and peering inside at the place he spent so many restless nights.

Alex sighs and looks down at the ground. It’s only been a few minutes but he’s feeling tense. He doesn’t want to be here anymore. He doesn’t want to be reminded of everything. Even if the bed is gone, he can still feel hands. Even if the rug is no longer there, he can remember screams and a baby's cry. Even if the door is open, it still feels closed… “Tubbo can we go please?”

The boy looks at him and contemplates something for a moment. He doesn’t feel like staying much longer either, but he can’t leave quite yet. He saunters back to the nightstand where more items should be and finally speaks again. “Goodbye, Lamp. Goodbye, Plant.” He turns to a hypothetical bed that’s not really there and continues his farewells. “Goodbye, Eggsnake. Goodbye, Rug. Goodbye, Wardrobe. Goodbye, TV. Goodbye, Sink. Goodbye, Toilet.” He steps back to view it all one last time before saying, “Goodbye, Room.”

He turns around and walks out the door. His papa doesn’t follow him right away and the boy tells him to say his own adieu. Alex faces the inside once more and his lips curve into a smile. It’s a smile of triumph. That hope that he can carry with him now is the same hope that got him through those six years and he’s never looking back. He took this place head on and won. He survived. “Goodbye Room.” And he’s going to keep on surviving.

When I was four I didn’t even know about the world, but I’m five and I know everything. I know so many people who aren’t just TV people. Papa introduced me to two of his friends and he says that one day Abuela and Phil are going to take us all across the ocean where Phil is from. Papa says we’re going to have our own house and we’re going to live by the sea. He hopes that one day his friends will live with us too but he says it will be a long time. I’ve already lived a long time but now I’m in the world and Papa and I are going to live on it forever until we’re dead.