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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

The waters sounded rough, a continuous sound of the thundering drums of war as they battered against the wood of the ship, getting louder and louder the further in they went until it was all she could hear, all she could focus on into through the whispers of the dark shrouding her. Yvaine pulled a box from her pocket and lit a match in her shaking fingers, sweat gathering and body wracking in shivers as she physically shrugged off the shadows and forced them back into their corner, far away from her as she moved away from them with a gasp.

A crewmen who'd been sleeping amongst the barrels had finally left and slammed the door behind him, his name being called from up upon the deck and he'd rose to answer it, his mumbled voice of rough accent a grating noise of absolute displeasure against the steady headache forming around the back of her eyes as she allowed herself her freedom, something she hadn't had since she'd hidden into the corner of the dark room and the darkness that had been quick to conceal her, leaving her in nothingness, in the void, like she'd never ever been real at all.

No, no, she was real, Yvaine was real and she was alive.

She took a few moments to calm herself, mouth watering as her throat became slick with bile as she focused down on the flickering light held between trembling fingers, the cold and chilly air hitting the front of her teeth and making them sting until she had no choice but to start breathing through her nose, her brows furrowing into a frown as she muttered familar words to herself, a comfort, her only comfort when the darkness became too...much, too consuming.

"More than shadow, more than nothing."

The words slipped put of her mouth like a mantra, like a promise, like a prayer as she whispered them thickly, her lower lip wobbling as she repeated it soundlessly, mouth opening and closing in anxious whispers that was only drowned out from the raging storm of something natural and terrifying outside as she brought the dancing light closer to her face, rocking back and forth in time with the ship and desperately trying to not allow the darkness to swallow her whole.

Yvaine held her position for a few minutes, time ticking by slowly as she awaited a sign that one of the sailors were going to come back down, forcing her back into the shadows of the room but no such thing happened, and when she was sure that she was going to be left alone, she reached into her bag and pulled out a thick candle, biting her lip in concentration as she placed the dwindling match over the wick and preying to whatever saint listening that it would catch alight through the cold breeze coming through the gap of the door.

The light held in her palms became brighter, fuller, more confident in its flames as the candle lit and she let out a sigh of relief, placing it down onto the floor in front of her, safe between her crossed legs as she stared at the amber dancing over the room in its boldness, a certain relief settling in her bones now that she could now see the darkness around her, not just become it, become one with it until there was nothing left of her at all.

She grunted as she slumped back against the wall of the ship beside her, resting her head back against the strong wood and just allowing herself the luxury of breathing, the taste of salt heavy on her tongue, stinging against the few cuts on her lips and other wounds scattered across the visible skin of her forearms. But there was a certain feeling on her hands, a certain crumbling sensation that made her insides squirm and when she risked a glance down she saw the dark stains of blood that wasn't her own and resisted the urge to gag.

Copper morality seeping into the imperfections of her skin like a bad omen, and even though every single thing inside her still-beating corpse begged her to stop looking at it, she couldn't tear her eyes away. This was the price of freedom, she reminded herself softly, and it was a price worth paying.

The young girl reached back into her tattered bag and pulled out a simple piece of beige cloth, grabbing her flask while she was there and pouring a generous amount into the improv handkerchief to start roughly swiping it across the skin of her knuckles with a grumbling hiss of contempt, her upper lip curling at the pressure against the bruises scattered there but unrelenting as she tried her hardest to wash the stains away, watching as the light cloth began to turn darker as it absorbed the blood.

It had turned it a rather dark and ominous maroon that made her stomach churn as she continued to rub, pausing every so often when she heard the occasional shouts of the crew from up above her.

She'd been on the boat for at least a day or two, perhaps even more considering it was hard to measure time in the comfort and the isolation of the darkness, but it seemed that they were in a rush to get to their destination, a place called Ketterdam in the Northeastern Kerch, where she was assuming the rather...strange smelling barrels were being transported too. Honestly, she'd never been good at reading a map, geography or things like that, she went where the safest option was, where the shadows beckoned her and for now, that was wherever the ship was taking her too.

The more distance she placed between herself and was alway from him, the better.

A large wave hit the side of the ship quite suddenly and she felt the pressure inside her scull as she flinched away from the noise, her eyes frantically scattering over at the dark wood as if expecting the ship to break and give way to the treacherous seas but that didn't happen, however, from up above onto the deck, she could hear the excited screams, their yells, the howling of voices against the booming air and she felt her heart drop to her stomach as she realised what what meant.

They'd spotted land, and that meant she was going to have to make up her plan of action as she went along with it, otherwise known as the story of her life.

Being spontaneous was a good thing most of the time, it meant that she wasn't as predictable, wasn't as easy to catch or hold in vile grips as her mind raced, but there was also many downsides of it, and one of them being how stressed she was currently becoming as she tried to grasp at straws on how she was going to be able to leave without being spotted or caught, and preferably without using the darkness that was constantly churning around her for help.

If the news of a shadow summoner in Ketterdam began to spread like the wildfore she was sure it would become then her efforts of escaping her old life would all be in vain. He'd catch her...and he'd do much worse than throw her in a tiny cage and leave her to rot and scream and be consumed by the very shadows that swore to protect her.

Yvaine had to be smart about this, which was a very trying thing in deed considering she wasn't - very smart that is - or at least that's what she'd been told...but the other option was non negotiable, if she wasn't smart then she was dead. It was as simple as that.

She didn't have to be an idiot to know they were getting closer and closer to land, hearing the seagulls calls against the winds, feeling the excitement in the air, the way the ship seemed to brim with relief and let a curse slip through her stinging lips, stuffing the ruined cloth back in her bag to make sure no evidence was left behind before she stood on shaking legs, stumbling over herself just slightly as she tried to grab her bearings, the candle held tight in her palm as wax dripped down the sides of it, burning over her skin unpleasantly.

Yvaine glared down at the flickering light but stubbornly refused to blow it out, yawning as a sudden burst of tiredness hit her, reminding her of how long she'd went without sleep as she risked a glance over to the shadows that beckoned her, welcomed her, threatned her with the promise of complete isolation, overwhelming loneliness and quickly shook her head with a grunt, holding the candle higher as she searched for a way she could sneak out.

It had been literal dumb luck and sheer desperation managing to board the ship the first time, running away from his men and somehow managing to get to the harbour, though, she hadn't exactly been quick enough, she had technically been caught for a few moments, a rough and scarred hand wrapping around her hood and yanking her back away from the large and looming vessel, choking her and grinning as he spat against her skin, laughing hysterically about how the pretty little bird would be going straight back into her cage.

Of course, what he hadn't realised as he pulled her further and further away, was the fact that every step he took pulled him closer into the shadows that came alive with a certain kind of energy, of power as they felt her desperate fear, the whispered promises of chaos circling over her ears until it was all she could hear, all she could feel like the ringing bells of war...and all it had taken was one quick and precise movement from suddenly steady hands for his head to be torn straight from his shoulders, rolling across the bumpy terrain of the cobblestone as she took of running towards the ship, hiding behind one of the large containers of barrels being boarded in.

Her eyes flickered for a moment, glancing back down to her hands as if expecting to find them drenched with her sins but all the was there was slightly darker undertone to her skin due to her vicious scrubbing of removal. Yvaine took another deep breath, and turned around once more, looking around the holding room with a slightly manic gaze as outside, the waves seemed to grow calmer, steadier as they readied to board the harbour of somewhere new.

And then seemingly, reluctantly, almost without her permission, her eyes dragged over to one of the large barrels...large enough to probably fit a body in and sighed before blowing out the candle in hand.

Fuck.

Getting into the barrel had been the easy part, but crawling out of said barrel had been a lot harder after being crammed inside of the stinking thing for almost half an hour, it had taken her a good five minutes of trying to arrange her legs to stretch over the side of it without the rough edges digging into the certain, delicate bits of her body, until, after a long time of struggling she'd eventually misplaced her body and was sent rolling out of it, slamming her forehead against the gravel with a pained curse slipping through her bloodied lips as she lay there and groaned.

Not that she had much time to wallow in self-pity, considering her rather noisy escape had caused a bit of a commotion, and she could hear yells coming from behind her alongside quick and investigating footsteps rushing towards the barrels, Yvaine only waited a moment or two before she hit the ground running, stumbling over her own two feet as she rushed across the dock, eyeing the shadows of a corner and quickly lurched into it, cursing once more as she did so.

Well, it seemed her promise of trying not to use the darkness had went straight out the window the moment she'd thought things turned to shit and it was also a good thing to know that this is how she acted under pressure.

Idiot, she thought to herself, but by some miracle it seemed that no one had noticed her disappearing act, chalking up the fallen barrel as loose penmanship and moving along causing Yvaine to sigh in relief, whole body sagging in on itself as she dragged her hand down her face and allowed herself to breathe before stepping forwards and shrugging off the shadows with a shudder, as she scurried away from the harbour, pulling her hood over her head with a grunt and contuining to walk until the sounds of the rumbling sea were far behind her.

However...when she finally did look at the place she'd be calling home for a while at least, she felt a weight form in the pit of her stomach as she froze and stared at the large, dark and foreboding building around her with the foggy air heavy in her nostrils and she realized why the shadows had beckoned her to that ship in particular...and it was because the city of Ketterdam was brimming with the very things she controlled, shadows around her, above her and below her even more so than they usually were.

"Fuck." Yvaine hissed loudly, literally yanking the black hood down from her face to stare, eyes flickering around frantically and resisting the urge to slam her forehead off the nearest hard surface because this was definitely not what she'd had in mind when she'd thought about laying low.

Perhaps it wasn't as dark as she was making it out to be, perhaps it was just the atmosphere and the stormy night without a hint of twinkling stars that made an ominous feeling settle into her bones, but still, there was something not quite right about this place, something that had her alarm bells ringing and shadows squirming...And she was so distracted looking at the flickering lights in some of the windows and hearing the strange noises of the city that she didn't see the figure storming towards her until it was too late.

A shoulder knocked into hers and the force shoved her off of her feet, breath leaving her lungs in a grunt as she fell back against the cobblestone, her hands brace behind her to soften the blow and scraping across the rough surface harshly, metathorial birds swimming around her vision.

"Watch where you're going, cunt."

A grisly voice snarled, and she swirled her head around in indignation at their audacity, jaw dropping as she glared at the back of the scarred bald head of someone who looked to be almost twice her size and thrice her weight, which really, absolutely should of been enough if a deterrent to keep her mouth shut, but Yvaine had always been too quick to anger, too quick to lose her temper by wearing her emotions on her sleeve which is why she'd stood up with a growl.

"Hey asshole! You dropped something!"

He turned around slowly and the face staring back at her reminded her of some sort of gargoyle, thick bulging brows that lay low on his forehead with dark and beady eyes trained upon her, thick scarring wrapping around his face in all directions and making his appearance nothing sort of terrifying. Now, she wasn't usually one to judge someone's appearance, but considering the bastard had literally plowed her over like some sort of cretin, she felt like she had some ground to stand on as he snarled at her like a rabid animal.

And then Yvaine did something stupid...she put her middle finger up to him with a sarcastic grin that stretched over the scar against her lip and honestly, she really didn't know what she'd been expecting through the offending action, but him drawing out a pistol had most definitely been at the bottom of the list.

"Ah." She nodded, staring down at the barrel for a few tense moments and then quickly turning her back and running as fast as her legs could carry her, twisting this way and that way as she heard bullets whizz past her ears causing her to curse even more, and then, suddenly she felt a surge inside her body, welling up like a dark promise and before she could choke out the word no, she heard a muffled grunt and then the sound of metal hitting the floor and she knew, she knew what had happened.

The young girl turned her head to find the man on the floor, eyes open and unseeing with his pistol laying on the floor next to him, concealed in shadows that ensured her that once again, no one had seen her slip up as she stumbled towards him with a grimace on her face, for the forth time that day, or more accurately, night, felling her mouth water as the threat of throwing up hit her full force and making her stomach churn as she looked at the blood beginning to stain the streets around his head like some sort of mocking halo.

Yvaine blinked down at the corpse, hands beginning to tremble as her eyes stayed firmly planted on the flowing blood, mind flashing to cold blades and dripping mortality ripping through her skin before she shook her head quickly, bending down with shaking limbs to start rummaging through his pockets where her hand enclosed on some kruge which she quickly pulled out and slipped into her own pocket, looking around herself once more to make sure no one had witnessed the murder but, from the atmosphere of the place and from the fact no one had come to check on the gunshots, she was assuming it was a regular occurrence.

"You reap what you sow." She mumbled down at the body quietly, but in her mind, it wasn't her voice, it was only his, and then she pulled her hood up once again, turned her back and was gone.
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It hadn't taken her long to find a place to stay, a moderately sized hotel that seemed not to gather too much attention but while simultaneously grabbing enough to be not seen as suspicious, with large, bricked walls that had chunks ripped out of it and what looked to be bullet holes still embedded into the sides, a very homely place in Yvaine had ever seen one and a large, grey painted door that looked like it could break apart with every passing second.

But when she'd actually taken a step inside, pulling her hood down to actually see, she found that it looked marginally better, so much so, that she'd actually frozen at the door for a few moments and just took it all in with wide and unblinking eyes, how could a place literally smell like warm cookies? She felt like that was just a myth, like finding a witch in the woods who'd eat you, but this hotel literally smelled like warm cookies with no sign of said cookies. Her stomach gave a sudden rumble and she cured at herself for thinking about food at a time like this.

"Well? Are you coming in, dearie? Or are you just going to stand there and let the cold in?"

A weathered voice asked, and she quickly spun her head around to find an older looking woman with thick greying hair and a rather large mole sticking on the end of her nose, sitting on a rather comfy looking arm-chair, a small cup in her wrinkled hands as she quirked a brow over to Yvaine who grimaced apologetically, gesturing back to outside of the hotel, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

"Sorry, I'm sorry- it just looked-"

"Not what you were expecting? Trust me, I know, and it has its purpose. Now come in before you catch your death." The old woman scolded, setting her tea down in the coaster beside her as she stood with a groan, old bones and all that as she limped over to a fine looking desk and fiddled with a book that had been hazardly cast aside amongst the clutter accumulating on it, before she looked up at Yvaine with a bright smile to show slightly yellow teeth.

"What can I do you for?"

"I'd like a room please? Just a small one if you've got one and I don't know how long I'll be staying really or anything like that, and I hope this covers it?" And without further ado, Yvaine pulled out the kruge she'd taken and poured it out over the table, taking a quick step back when she noticed the way the older woman jerked in shock, the shadows around the room flickering for half a second as she prepared herself for the worst...but no such thing happened, instead, weathered fingers reached out to touch what had been throw across the table carelessly.

"Oh dearie, this is more than enough."

There was a moment of silence as Yvaine awkwardly nodded her head, scratching the inside of her wrist while the older woman continued to stare down at the kruge, before she chuckled breathlessly, gathering the valuables in her arm and sweeping it into a drawer in her desk with another charming smile. "Now then, come along. I'll show you to your room."

The young girl quickly followed after her as she began clambering up the creakity stairs to her left, surprisingly agile and quick in her old age to the point that Yvaine had to pick up the pace to catch up to her, her eyes constantly moving around anxiously as she took in the separate floors and windows, possible escape routes and wondering which one was going to be hers because it seemed like the staircase had a never ending resolve of rooms.

However, finally they came to the sixth floor, where strangely, only one door awaited her, freshly painted and looking even nicer than the others that they'd passed by far.

"Here we are." She croaked, humming under her breath as she reached into her pocket and pulling out a key, ,unlocking the door all the while singing a strange tune under her breath that had Yvaine giving her the side eye before she stepped around her, ready to just drop her and her bag onto the floor and find the cleanest spot to sleep in, only for her jaw to drop at the sight that greeted her back.

The room was absolutely huge, a large bed with red accents, dark walls and a wardrobe in the corner alongside a dresser and even another armchair, the floors a gleaming wood that practically shone to the point she was sure she'd be able to see her own reflection as she blinked, and blinked, and then blinked once more as she followed the older woman in cautiously. "Wow, um, I said just a small room would be fine-"

"I know what you said, I'm not deaf yet, dearie. But honestly, no one is staying here and it's just collecting dust." The gray-haired innkeeper tutted under her breath, waving a nonchalant hand as she looked around the room, scurrying over to a window and opening it to let the fresh air in as Yvaine plopped her bag down onto the bed with furrowed brows, still in somewhat disbelief as her eyes flickered everywhere, taking it all in with curious and weary eyes.

"I've never had one before."

"A room to yourself?" The innkeeper chuckled absentmindnessly, twittering around the room like some sort of frail bird, making sure that it all looked clean and tidy for her guest which it already did, in fact, Yvaine could safely say the dark room looked immaculate, perfect even, as her hand dragged over the soft mattress, her throat feeling tight as she looked down at it gently, voice hardly louder than a whisper.

"A bed."

It was obvious she didn't know what to say to that, wrinkled hands freezing from where she was patting down the pillows to make sure they were properly feathered, but it seems she got a hold of herself rather quickly, turning to face the girl once more with a strange, wavering expression on her face as she tried to smile brightly. "Well, I'm sure you'll like it. Now, how about I bring you some breakfast in the morning, hm? But make sure you don't tell any of the others about it, I'm an innkeeper, not a housekeeper."

Yvaine's lips twitched into a smile and the old woman's blue eyes sparked as she winked, moving back towards the door and throwing her parting words over her shoulder without so much more than a backward glance, obviously wanting to get back to her tea before it got cold. "I'll leave you to your room, if you need anything, don't be afraid to call down for me."

"Oh, what do I call you?"

"Mrs. Vallel will do just fine, and can I ask what your name is?"

"Yvaine."

"That's a beautiful name, now if I were you I'd try and get your head down, it's rather late you know?" She scolded gently before shutting the door behind her, leaving Yvaine staring at the spot where she'd left with wide eyes, feeling like she'd been dropped in some kind of strange reality, or, more accurately just been patented by the strange innkeeper, but then shaking her head to quickly rid herself of such thoughts as she took another glance around the room slowly.

Mrs. Vallel was right she realised as she cautiously walked over to the bed once more and sat down upon it, feeling the soft mattress press into the wounds on the back of her things much gentler than anything else she'd ever felt and a sigh slipped through her lips as she leant fully back with a certain tiredness settling deep in her bones that made her feel weightless, held down to the earth with nothing more than a single tether that could fray as any moment as her eyes fluttered sluggishly.

But before she could allow herself the luxury of giving into her exhaustion, she reached across the seemingly never ending bed and brushed her fingers over her ratty bag, pulling it close to her chest and reaching into her pocket, lighting a match and breathing a sigh of relief when she finally found her candle amongst the junk she had stored in her bag, placing the amber flame over the wick again and smiling softly as the room began to dance with a familar warm glow as she placed it on the small bedside table, watching it for a few moments as she laid her head down upon the cool pillow with a hum.

After all, you never truly know what's lurking in the dark.

Chapter Text

Dreams were such strange things Yvaine had found, because dreams had meanings, had stories and plots that yes, were sometimes hard to understand...but that didn't mean they weren't there all the same. And she had many of them, obviously, fickle things that she held tightly onto with trembling fists as they slipped through her fingers like the ever flowing sands of time, memories of old, wishes that were never granted, faces that she could hardly remember and most of the time, she dreamt of the blood her shadows had spilled.

She always awoke when she dreamt of darkness, forcing herself into consciousness with deep, gasping breaths that hacked at her lungs and made them hurt.

Matted hear sticking to the slick skin of her forehead, around the nape of her neck and her body shivering in a cold sweat, and no matter how hard she'd tried, she could never fall back asleep after such dreams, lately she was forced to sit amongst the spead of fluffy pillows and stare with distant eyes out of the window, watching the rising sun as it casted its light over the tops of the building surrounding her.

Yvaine had been in Ketterdam for less than a week now, and tonight was unfortunately no different from the usual haunting, tangled sheets twisting around her scarred legs, making her feel constricted, like she was being swallowed whole with a furrow to her brow and deep, guttural whimpers leaving her parted lips and she shrugged this way and that. The mind was a tortuous place, and she knew it well as she was lost in her dreams, no...her memories.

Her bare feet covered in dirt and cuts from idle stone walking through the passing crowds, being shoved this way and that as she danced over their shoes, small legs practically having to leap everywhere to not get caught in their thundering footsteps. Being small had always had its disadvantages, especially considering she'd been a child that was always half starved, malnourished and dehydrated but still, somehow alive and standing on unsteady legs.

But...it also had its advantages as the shadows whispered around her fingers, because no one every truly gave her a second look, a closer glance as her greedy eyes flickered around the crowds, divinity staining her mouth as she readied herself to take and take and take, her hungry human fingers reaching out and taking everything she could reach as power surged it's way into her veins, the darkness that she commanded becoming solid, stronger, instead of weightless shadow as it slipped into pockets before slinking back into the corners it had come from, storing her riches as she continued her thieving dance.

Perhaps she should feel guilty about what she'd done, what she'd take from those who left a child forgotten in the dirt, because there were many like her, that looked like her and smelled like her and hungered like her, though they didn't have the gift that she did, but the truth was that when you are not feed love from a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off of knives. Yvaine knew exactly what she was doing, and if the saints needed a reason for her crimes than it was survival.

She was going to survive even if everything in the universe begged her not to, and she was going to be the deadliest piece on the board of life, she wanted her name to be etched upon the bloody walls of history until there was no chance she could ever be forgotten about. Yvaine was more than an orphan, more than shadow and more than nothing...and it wasn't her fault that people were simply too stupid to see that so she had no choice but to take until things would be given to her, never having the chance to be soft , to be safe, to prey to the saints for mercy.

No, she'd have to be her own saint, her own devastating god because that was the only way she was going to survive...Through her own greed.

And then there was always a blur on what happened next, a rush of colour, the sound of bullets being fired, the terrified shrieks and cries and the pounding of shoes hitting the cobblestones as the crowd scattered, pulling themselves in all directions as bodies dropped to the floor. All she remembered of that was the man who's pocket her grubby hands had been in had fallen, eyes unseeing and dead with blood pooling around his white shirt and staining it red, and all she'd been able to do was stare at it in shock.

She'd seen many awful and haunting things in her short lifetime, had no choice but to see with no elder to protect her from it, but death, such a violent and unprovoked death had been new. But she didn't have much time to wrestle with the thought of mortality, because bullets were still raining down around her like hellfire, and more and more blood was begining to coat the streets, washing over her feet, but still, she didn't move until there was a bang and a sudden stinging in her arm and she'd hit the ground running as if her conscious had been dropped back inside the prison of flesh she called a body.

Yvaine could never understand why they'd followed after her in particular out of the masses that day, why some of the soldiers had chased after her, whooping and hollering like it was a came as they chased her into an alleyway that had no sign of a way to escape. She would never understand why the followed her and looked at her with their dirty, murderous eyes as they aimed their pistols towards her, cornering her into the shadows as she whimpered and cried, hardly able to hear their taunting laughs as they drew closer and closer like predator to prey.

But the one thing that she would always remember...was the way the shadows had begun to climb around her, the soldiers had mistaken her silence for weakness, but they should of known, they should of remembered the way the air stills before the onset of a devastating hurricane as she watched as their bodies were torn apart through slicing lurches of flickering darkness, so quick and precise that they'd had no time to scream, no time to truly even notice what was happening to them before it was too late .

And she couldn't help but wonder how such a feral creature could live inside her skin, how vile and empty she could become as their bodies joined the steadily climbing numbers of mortality outside. And how the shadows that had just stained her conscious could be so tame as they slithered back towards her and wrapped her in their cold embrace as she began to sob, tears sliding down her muddy face and dripping against the red ground below her, each tear drop louder than a bomb .

That was the first time the darkness had forced her hand...that was the first time she'd stained the shadows with blood... but it hadn't been the last.

Yvaine suddenly shot up from her bed, a choked off scream dying against the walls of her throat as her hands fisted the sheets by her side tightly, her eyes flickering all around her in panic, trying to figure out what had woken her so abruptly, her heart pounding in tandem with her headache as she strained her ears, the dream already becoming nothing more than a forgotten memory as she took deep and uneven breaths, the open window drowning the noises of the room out distractionly.

A knock.

That's what had woken her she'd realized as whoever was outside continued to rap their knuckles against the door, causing relief to settle in her bones as she sighed and slowly sat up with a grunt, feeling the strap of her top fall over one of her shoulders as she rubbed her eye tiredly, standing up with a loud groan, her muscles stretching and bouncing back into place, already begining to walk over to the door and having a suspicion of who was standing just outside of it, like they had been every morning that week.

She pulled on the handle sluggishly and sure enough Mrs. Vallel stared back at her, a warm smile taking up the striking wrinkles around her face, a tray held between slightly shaking palms filled with an bowl of lumpy looking oatmeal which Yvaine had found surprisingly pleasant, especially with the amount of sugar the old woman poured into it, and a glass of orange juice just beside it, causing the corners of her mouth to lift up into a grin.

"Hello dearie, it seems I've made too much oatmeal for myself again so I thought you'd appreciate the leftovers." The innkeeper sighed dramatically as if it were some big effort, some exhausting accident, but Yvaine was having a hard time believing her sincerity in that statement considering she'd done this every morning since the shadow summonder had booked a room inside her hotel...not that she was going to call her out on that fact.

"Of course, thankyou."

"Well move aside, I'll place it on your bedside- Oh, it looks like a pig sty in here. Have you been having another nightmare, dearie?" She placed the tray onto the table and then turned around to give her guest a scratching look and holding it for a few tense moments as the younger girl continued to stand there, her shoulder pressed against the door and her whole body aching with a pain that could never be healed, and whatever the innkeeper seen was enough to have her gaze softening almost instantly.

Yvaine had no illusions that she didn't look her best, greed had left a certain tightness across her skin, like it was having trouble stretching across the sharp edges of her bones, a certain gaunt look in the hollows of her cheek that made her look half dead and half saint, deep bags under her eyes, the cost of sleepless nights as she begged for salvation in her unconscious, nothing more than a rotting corpse filled with poison but blessed with some dangerous beauty and rage.

She shook her head quickly, tired of her own dramatic monologue and taking a break from her own self hatred to smile at the older woman, a stretching of her lips that felt fake on a face that whispered bittersweet lies as she waved a nonchalant hand through the air, as if brushing off the concerns physically and allowing them to dance in the open air. "Always Mrs. Vallel, I'll tidy it before I go out."

"Still trying to get a handle over the streets hm? You know I wouldn't mind taking you myself if you need-"

"No. No, I'm alright, I'll have it down in no time." She quickly reassured her, dark eyes flickering for half a moment as she panicked before calming at the shocked look Mrs. Vallel gave her at the abrupt tone in her voice, smiling apologetically once more as she stepped further into her room. The truth was Yvaine had been using the excuse of finding her footing to do more...criminal activities, after all, there was a reason she'd climbed through the ranks so quickly in his group of murderers and thieves.

And that was because she was the best at what she did which was taking the world for fools.

"Whatever you say, dearie. Now, why don't you eat up and I'll come by later on." Mrs. Vallel crooned gently, reaching down when Yvaine's back was turned to quickly try and sort through the pillows to make them look neater and then smiling innocently when she was caught in the act, already begining to limp her way towards the door and patting her youngers arm when she passed her, either not seeing or just ignoring her flinch as she did do, making her way towards the stairs with a low groan before disappearing out of view.

Yvaine watched her go with a small frown on her brow, still not truly understanding the strange innkeepers kindness trying to figure out if there was perhaps, an ulterior motive, but not being able to figure out what it would be. The shadow summoner had been taught a lesson long ago, and that nothing in the world was free, including compassion...and until someone or something proved differently, she was going to stick to her teachings.

Finally tearing her gaze from the stairwell, she turned around and strolled back into her room, twisting her hand and forcing the shadows to shut the door behind her as she made her way to one of the large windows that gave her a spectacular view of the murky skies and downtrodden building around her, picking up the sweet oatmeal and instantly shoving a spoonful into her mouth and moaning at the warmth that blossomed on her tongue.

Warm food had always been such a rarity when you lived on the streets, well, not the streets per say, more so wherever she found the safest and most crowded option to be. She never stayed in one place for too long, always moving, hiding in the shadows, nothing more than a pair of hands in shrouding darkness. Food in general had been hard to come by, and the truth was whatever she could find she'd take, and maybe that's why she'd been such a sickly child.

For saints sake she was pretty sure she'd ate more mold in her lifetime than actual food.

Quickly backtracking out of those thoughts before she managed to loose her appetite, Yvaine felt her eyes wander over to the busy streets just in front of the hotel, only able to see them at a certain angle while leaning out of the window with nothing to grab her if she fell except the dark alleyway below her, perhaps the shadows would rise to catch her...perhaps she'd might even let them.

She sat there for a few quiet minutes, shoveling the oatmeal into her mouth and feeling it settle in her stomach until the spoon scraped against nothing and she realised her moment of peace, of clarity was over as she stood up, dropping the empty bowl back onto the tray and began to rummage through her large and ratty bag for a change of clothes, keeping it simple with dark leather pants and a loose white shirt.

She took a quick sniff to make sure they were clean, and then shrugged her shoulders with a grimace when she figured they were as clean as they were about to get.

Her sleep shirt came off first, the dark glare of the stormy skies reflecting off of her skin, the silver scarring wrapped around her body an eye-catching nuisance that had her gaze stubbornly averting away from the mirror attached to the wardrobe in front of her, remembering stinging whips and false promises, pain and blood and lies washing over her body like a sickening flood until her heart began to pound and the shadows began to become unsettled, squirming in place as they felt the unsteady rising of panic as it grappled with her.

Yvaine had never really liked stealing...well, no that wasn't actually true at all, there was definitely aspects of stealing she liked, such as the knowledge that most took one look at her less than intimidating stature and passed her off as nothing only to greatly underestimate her importance...that she liked, that little power imbalance that would make her veins sing her praises because it reminded her that while the world may think of her as nothing but a dirty stain to be removed, the truth was she was anything but.

She didn't make it her habit to know about the ins and outs of the earth she stood on, about what wars were spreading around, what rebellions or what new sudden fad had shaken the world.

No, she only used such space on her mind for things that would be important to her, which just happened to be that she knew she special, knew she was different from others. Yvaine knew that the shadows didn't move for just anyone, and that made her something dangerous...or at least something that could be if she wanted to and that knowledge settled in her gut like a warm embrace because it meant something.

But the truth was as much as she appreciated the shadows and what they did for her...she feared them too. Because she knew without them she'd be nothing, she'd be dead, and that reminder soured her like rotten fruit.

Yvaine took a breath and held it tightly, lungs taunt and chest burning as she pulled off her baggy pants next to slip into her chosen clothes, her skin physically itching as she felt the fabric brush over it. She let the breath go and the shadows stilled, her eyes fluttering open once more and she hadn't even noticed she'd shut them when she walked over to the other side of the bed, pulling her large boots over her feet with a grunt, struggling with the stubborn soles with muffled curses slipping through her lips until they were finally on and she was ready.

She took a step towards the door, but paused, feeling like something was missing...before recognition lit up the dark of her eyes, make them sparkle briefly as she suddenly turned to the armchair and tugged her coat on over her shoulders, fingers brushing against the dark hood with a smirk as she headed back again, idly wondering what the city of Ketterdam had in store for her today...and rather excited to find out.
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The shadow summoner had a very specific kind of eye, a certain kind of that greed that she sought to steal...and while to other thieves that might be something like kruge or fine jewelry, something that looked shiny and looked like something they could make a profit from, and she understood that appeal, truly, she did because she was once like that, desperate for food, for something to quench her hunger, her thirst, something to block out the cold breeze and make her warm.

But even back then she'd had a taste for...well, for lack of better word, Yvaine had a taste for things that looked like it had sentimental value...which truly was an asshole way to go about things because it was already bad enough that her victims were getting stolen from in the first place, but the fact that she'd take things that obviously meant alot to them was probably like rubbing salt in the wounds and yet...she couldn't bring herself to stop, not when she felt the stirring of guilt heavy in her stomach.

Perhaps it came from a place of resentment, because she'd never had something that was simply hers, something that she hadn't of taken, something that had been given or offered to her with the girl in mind, and as she grew older that resentment blossomed into need. And it wasn't like she kept those things forever, eventually she did sell them for less money than she probably needed, but it wasn't like she was a total lost cause.

And walking down the dark and murky streets with shadier looking individuals than her moving through the crowds, Yvaine felt surprising in her element, her swift and agile fingers twisting in shadows when the crowds she marched through became particularly thick, her shoulders brushing against theirs as her greedy eyes flickered from place to place, weightless darkness slipping around wide wrists to slip off a good-looking bracelet, twirling around inside pockets to pull out an old watch and skirting around plump necks to yank away Pearl's before the shadows slicked back into the corners they came from, keeping their stash hidden and awaiting her familar footsteps.

You could deny her of many things, but her abilities to rob you blind without you even having time to notice was not one of them.

However, as she continued to walk, taking in the streets and breathing in the murky air, the more the crowds began to thin, tapering off until she was alone as the atmosphere around her began to darken, like an ominous warning and something about it forced her to come to a stop before she strolled closer to a rather dangerous looking club, a hesitation in her step as she blinked up at it.

Unlike some of the other ones she'd seen further east, this one was painted an intimidating black with deep crimson accents, and a rather large oxidized silver crow above where she was assuming the entrance was.

Yvaine stared at it for a few, tense and quiet moments as she gathered her thoughts, wondering what was so dangerous inside the building that made the shadows around her flicker and pulse as if they had a heartbeat, warning her not to get closer, and figured that her senses had never proven her wrong before...although she had learned that the hard way, and she quickly spun on her heel to turn around to try and walk back the way she came, secretly hoping she'd run into another group of people to greed from.

The key word there was try, because the moment she'd turned around her shoulder was knocked against someone's once more, sending her flying onto her ass like some cruel deja-vu of her first night in Ketterdam, only this time she'd had the good sense to wear thicker pants to soften her fall, though it didn't help as much as she'd been hoping as she felt the bruise already forming against her skin. The only difference being was that, alongside her, it seemed the offender had fallen over too.

"Fucking hell, watch where you're going." She snapped, pulling herself up onto her own two feet and began to brush the dust off of her body aggressively, huffing and puffing under her breath at the dirt that had begun to stain her fingers, not even looking down to where the other person had landed, finally lifting her head to brush her dirty hair from her eyes and ignoring the indignant stutters from the boy below her.

"Me? Watch where I'm going? I wasn't the one standing in the middle of the - well, hello there."

The shadow summoner finally looked up at the change of tone, only to find the person she'd bumped into already looking down at her, obviously rising to his feet alot faster with a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Yvaine allowed herself a quick glance at him, her brows lightly furrowed as she tilted her head to one side before shrugging to herself internally. She supposed there was worse people to fall for in a shady looking street, and she could guarantee none of them looked as pretty as the boy in front if her did.

Smooth skin that looked like it would have never suffered from a blemish, mischief shining in the hazel of his eyes and a winning smile that stretched over his face that was nothing short of blinding.

"Hello to you too...I'm sure there are better ways to introduce yourself to a person without running into them, Mr...?"

She replied back with a cool grin...because there was something else that had her staying in place, that had her rather willing to play along with his little flirtation by the look he was giving her that didn't just come down to his pretty appearance...and that was the fact that she'd noticed the moment he'd fallen, the way his large ring-clad hand had instantly shot straight to one of the pockets by his side, where she caught a glimpse of something shiny and pretty looking threatening to slip out that he quickly pushed back inside and almost instantly, the shadows around her flickered with interest.

"The names Jesper, Jesper Fahey and I don't think I've ever seen you around here, because I'd definitely remember that pretty face of yours." He said with a curling of his lips, leaning against the side of a building, close enough that if she reached out, her hand could probably brush over his chest, but far enough that she didn't feel crowded or threatned, which was truly a nice change of pace from some other characters she'd been subjected to already in the city of Ketterdam.

"I'm a bit new in town, just trying to find my way around."

"Well, you're in luck! I happen to be a great tour-guide, gorgeous." He said cheerfully, speading his arms wide with a cheeky wink as she hid her smile behind her hand...though unknown to Jesper, the smile hadn't been for him, in fact, it had been to the shadows circulating behind him as they began to creep out from the alleyway, slithering across the cobblestones like a form of dangerous snakes, only far more lethal and not as venomous, sliding up his leg like a weightless smoke.

"Well, I just might hold you to that...but maybe some other time, I've got places to be." Yvaine smiled apologetically, giving him a matching sultry wink and taking in his pout at face-value as she walked right on past, watching out of the corner of her eye as his mouth opened and closed, obviously trying to find some words to say to try and get her to stay, not realizing that she'd already got what she'd come for, but it was only when she was halfway down the street did she hear him call out for her once more.

"Can I at least have your name!?"

"Yvaine." She answered back quickly with a happy hum, not truly thinking about the consequences of saying her true name and continuing on her merry way, before she slowly glanced towards one of the numerous alleyways around the streets where she could see into the darkness, where she could see the shadows dancing, keeping pace with her footsteps and a small, barely noticeable familar twinkle of the bright and sparkly object that had been in her victims pocket.

She couldn't imagine that he was going to be very happy once he noticed what she'd taken...but she couldn't exactly say she was too bothered with that tibet of information. After all...what were the chances she'd ever see him again?

Chapter Text

"Yes, she was pretty. Unique, probably easy to find in a crowd." She whispered, remembering the girls rather beautiful features, the sharp cheekbones and the dark eyes that practically glowed in the foggy air around her and the scar that had licked over the side of her jaw, brushing against her plump bottom lip gently, even though she'd only seen her for a few seconds, Inej was a spy, and she'd long since learned that you had to remember the little details about something or someone because it could be the greatest difference between success and failure.

"Find her."
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The next few days had been quiet for Yvaine, well, not quiet per say, she had very serious doubt Ketterdam was ever quiet if her rather short experiences were anything to go by. In truth there always seemed to be noise echoing around the streets, in the alleyways, in the bars and clubs even around the somewhat peaceful inn she resided in, the darkness swallowing the sounds and leaving them bouncing off the walls until her brain hurt.

So when she said quiet, she really meant uneventful she supposed, as in there wasn't alot of action which in all honesty she'd been expecting. Her first night at this hell hole had her almost shot for saints sake, so it's not like her belief of actually being under threat during her time there was unwarranted, and yes, technically she did want to lay low, didn't want the news of a shadow summoner reaching certain ears but that didn't mean she couldn't feel bored.

Yvaine liked an adrenaline rush as much as the next person, her heart always beginning to pound a familar rhythm as her hand and shadows slipped into pockets and took things that weren't hers, her cheeks holding a certain flush of excitement because even though she never got caught, it never stopped the thought that she could, and lately, she wondered what would happen if she would. She was fast on her feet, she could blend into the shadows, control them and shape them into vile weapons of destruction, so really, it's not like she couldn't risk an accident which wouldn't be so much of an accident.

But as soon as that thought swirled around her mind, she quickly pushed in away in the same breath, rolling her eyes as she walked down the dark streets and only just managing to resist the urge to slam the heel of her palm into the side of her head to stop those crazy thoughts, after all, boredom did strange things to people, apparantly not excluding an itch for a chase and possibly more as she grumbled a curse.

However, there was a sudden flicker to the side of her that distracted her from her rather chaotic thoughts, and Yvaine frowned as she turned her head to catch the shadows as they beckoned her closer from the alleyway, clenching her fists as she took a deep and slightly uneven grunt of air. They'd been acting strangely lately, the past day or two constantly moving, hiding, thriving as if restless and she understood the feeling...but this felt different, this felt like a warning and something about the situation didn't feel quite right to her.

She pulled herself to a slow walk, begining to hum a tune under her breath, arms crossing behind her back, trying to give off the impression of being absolutely calm and collected while feeling anything but, her ears straining, eyes narrowing and the darkness around her, inside her swarming in their hidden corners as her feet continued to move down the strangely silent street, hardly anyone around anymore, resembling a grave yard of smoke and dirty air.

...And that's when she heard it, the strange click-clacking of a cane on cobblestone, loud and unapologetic as if they weren't even trying to hide the fact they were following her. And she knew they were following her too, after all, the moment the shadows had started squirming, she'd began to lead herself and her apparent assailant down a dead-end alleyway where the darkness welcomed her just as much as it tried to consume her, and she only just managed to hide her shiver as she finally turned the corner and walked inside it.

The limping footsteps followed her, and she finally came to a stop, her back facing then as a smirk curled over her lips, staring ahead out into the darkness around her calmly. "Rather dangerous to be lurking in the shadows don't you think? You never know what's hiding with you after all."

"I'll take my chances."

The voice that came from behind her was low and rough, almost cruel, like saltwater filling her lungs to leave a vile taste at the back of her tongue as she absorbed it, but if she had to use one word to truly describe it, then the best she could probably come up with was spiteful. And when she turned around to face him, she found his voice matched his appearance exactly as she quirked a brow at him, doing a quick sweep over his body for any sign of a weapon, lingering on his cane for half a second before meeting his eyes once more.

Dark clothes, something that had almost helped him blend into the shadows around them, all sharp edges with even sharper eyes as he stared her down calmly. In all honesty, if Yvaine was a lesser woman, she'd probably be scared of the darkness that radiated from him, rolling in ominous waves across the space between them, harsh lines in his face making him seem older and colder than he was...but then again, he didn't know about her madness that wrestled with her mind like a reaper's whisper...and she rather trusted her chances against him if it came down to it.

"You have something of mine."

He spoke slowly, almost as if he was trying to be condescending on purpose and she had no doubt he was, hat tipped down low and leaning his weight against his cane nonchalantly, completely and sinfully at ease as he watched her, her plump lips pursing as her expression changed into a thoughtful one, staring at him in confusion and humming gently in question. "Do I?"

"Yes, a necklace that you stole yesterday."

"I stole alot of things yesterday, you'll have to be more specific." Yvaine said, quickly giving up on the whole innocent act as she shrugged her shoulders with a small twinkle of mischief shining in the dark of her eyes, painting her as some forbidden trickster of chaos as she kept her gaze trained in him, waiting for any sign of sudden movement, of a trap or of threat but he seemed perfectly comfortable where he was with his gloved hands clenched tightly around the head of his crow cane.

"Funny, but I think we both know what I'm talking about." His voice lowered in pitch slightly, like rumbling thunder as he took a step closer, out of the foggy light from the streets and committing fully into the entrapment of the dark alleyway, his eyes firmly trained upon hers, and there was hardly anything reflecting inside them, just coldness, just cruelty...and the longer she looked at the boy, the more she was reminded of him...and around her, oh how the shadows seemed to dance as they licked at her terror.

"You don't scare me."

"Everyone is scared of something. It's just a manner of finding what."

There was a flicker of something on his face, gone so quickly that Yvaine couldn't even hope to decipher it, and she wasn't willing to linger around any longer to find out as she straightened her back, rolling her shoulders to try and release their sudden tension as she nodded at him condescending, even going as far as to take her eyes away from him to brush imaginary dust off of her shirt, clearing her throat coolly. "Well, good luck with that."

"We're not done here."

"Oh really? Well I think we are." She replied back, smiling sarcastically as she made her move, strolling towards him for the exit but giving him a wide berth, not wanting to be in arms-reach of the man who seemed all sorts of dangerous. However, she didn't exactly get far before his cane came swinging towards her, stopping a mere inch from her chest and causing her body to tense while she slowly trailed her gaze down the dark stick, flickering up from the black gloves, the broad shoulders until she finally met the blue of his eyes that churned darkly like the stormy sea.

A muscle in her sharp jaw twitched as she tried to smirk, tried to keep her confidence as her hands shook, feeling whispers of promised destruction and bloodshed as they swirled around her mind, tickling the palm of her hands and begging to be released and she feared that she couldn't control it for much longer...and doubted she'd regret letting said shadows run free to lay waste to the man who didn't seem to know when to quit.

But that fiery rage was quickly swallowed whole by the strong waves as he held her eyes...and then smiled cruelly, darkly, venomously and spoke the very words that made her blood run cold. "You know...I can't help but wonder what Deverous would think...his prized pick-pocket, all alone in Ketterdam."

Yvaine swallowed thickly, her throat suddenly slick with bile and hands shaking and sweat gathering around her forehead as soon as Deverous's name left those thin lips, trying to ground herself, focusing on the floor pressing back against her feet as the darkness seemed to gather around her, readying itself to swallow her whole, plunge her in shadow where she'd never be seen again, clawing desperately as nothingness as it slipped between her fingers like suffocating smoke.

She wasn't going back there, she was never going to let herself go back there again.

Her eyes fluttered shut for half a second, and when she opened them again he almost looked amused by the power he'd just displayed over her, easier than breathing as he brought his cane back towards his body, looking down at her in ever sense of the word and making her feel small...weak, like she wasn't a god made mortal. She dug her fingers into her palm and bared her teeth, resisting the urge to lash out as she took a step away from him. "You've made your point."

"Have I?"

She twisted her head to glare at him darkly, the shadows whispers growing more consistent and loud, threatening to deafen her the longer she fought for control, and whatever the dark-haired boy seen reflecting against the harsh edges of her face had him quirking a brow, staring down at her boredly, as if this was all sort of a playful game to him and not her life being held in the palm of his stupid gloved hands. "Don't be stupid now, you won't be of any use to me if you're dead."

"I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you don't keep your mouth shut." Yvaine snapped, the fear of being locked away once more raising her hackles like a rabid dog, chest winding tight as if a binder was pressed against it, growing tighter and tighter with every passing second until eventually it was just going to sink into the seams of her skin and tear her into two pieces, but he only continued to stare at her with a nonchalant expression of ease.

"Oh, and what makes you so dangerous?"

"Fuck around and you'll find out."

His lips twitched for half a second as if he wanted to laugh, looking not even half as threatned as she wanted him to be, but when she opened her mouth to snarl at him...she felt goosebumps rise across her arms, the hair pricking at the back of her neck as the darkness began to clamber over each other, the loudest they'd been since the whole interaction begun and she realized very quickly that they weren't alone...and that they probably hadn't been alone since the moment he'd decided to follow her.

The shadow summoner narrowed her eyes before looking up sharply, gaze instantly shooting over to where she could see the tiniest hint of the silver of a knife before the person hiding in her shadows quickly repositioned themselves out of view, missing the suprised look that came over her stalkers face when she figured out where the spy was almost instantly...coming to the rather accurate conclusion that the girl was just as valuable as Deverous was making her out to be.

"Tell me where to meet you and I'll give you the bastard necklace tomorrow at noon." She snapped finally, wanting no part in whatever the boy and his spy were up too, not wanting to risk the fight because she had a very sneaky suspicion that whatever he was apart of...was most definitely more than just him. And she wasn't going to start making even more enemies out of people she shouldn't. Oh, how she was regretting her desire for action now, Karma always did seem to bite her in the ass when she least expected it.

"Now I don't think that's a fair trade, after all, Deverous is offering alot of kruge, more than the necklace is worth by far." The mocking tone in his voice was enough to send her teeth baring in a snarl as she resisted the urge to reach across the space and bite the annoying bastard, just to get him to stop looking at her with such a vile smugness because he knew he was in control of the situation here, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"What do you want?"

"You."

"You're not my type."

He looked a moment away from scoffing at her snarling words, taking another step closer to her but still, thankfully, not close enough to touch, but close enough that she could hear the underlying threat to his words that promised if she didn't do as he said, she'd regret it. "Funny, but I had a different arrangement in mind...you'll work for me, just a couple of jobs here and there until you match the price Deverous has placed on you head...and in return I won't tell him where you are."

"What's the price?"

"A million kruge, you must be rather special." Another mocking look came across his features as he made a show of looking her up and down, brows lightly furrowed as if confused on what the great fuss was about over something so worthless, and her lips thinned as she pressed them together tightly, trying everything in her power to keep the shadows at bay as her whole body practically vibrated. "The name is Kaz Brekker...and you'll be meeting me at the Crow Club tomorrow for your first job, try not to be late."

"I don't know where that is."

"You'll figure it out."

Yvaine ground her teeth together silently, the shadows flickering for half a second as her skin paled, darkness hammering away at her hollowed corpse and begging to be let out but she quickly began storming away before that could happen, and this time, he thankfully allowed it as she took a step out into the foggy light of Ketterdam day...just for his voice to echo behind her once more, ominous and full of snarling threat, but still, she didn't turn around as she marched away.

"And pick-pocket? Steal from me again...and I'll break both of your hands."

She kept walking, feet moving with a certain kind of urgency, refusing to let herself stop as her dark eyes glistened with unurshed tears, breath leaving her parted lips his hitched gasps as she finally reached the Inn's destination and stormed up the stairs, ignoring Mrs. Vallels concerned calls after her as she stumbled up them, the air feeling tight as her vision swayed, slowing as if she was hardly moving but she was, she knew she was as the stairs moved under her feet.

But it was only when she finally pushed the door to her room open, far away from prying eyes and ears did she allow herself to scream, a mournful and wounded sound that would of caused ears to bleed as she yelled out her frustrations, her body slowly sliding down the wooden door until her bottom touched the floor...but still she screamed and screamed and screamed until finally, the shadows leapt out from her skin and sent every object inside the room flying away from her, a vase shattering mere inches away from her feet and scratching her skin.

And when all was said done and the scream had tapered off into a breathless sob, did the knock she'd been waiting for gently rasp against the door, the innkeeps voice coming out from behind the wood gently, obviously not wanting to disturb her further as Yvaine stared at the destruction that was once her room numbly. "Are you alright in there, dearie?"

"Yeah...there was spider. It's gone now." She was so fucked.

Chapter Text

She hardly slept a wink that night, far too busy pacing back and forth along the floorboards with a grimace on her face and a snarl upon her lips, disbelieving of how quick she'd been dragged into some other man's coop like a chicken to slaughter. It seemed that for Yvaine, life would never allow her to catch a single break, which really did beg the question of what higher force she'd managed to piss off so fantastically that they were planning on ruining her life one day at a time before her inevitable demise.

And yes, there was a part of her supposed that she was being slightly dramatic as she stormed the length of her room like a pacing tiger, tidying up her catastrophic mess as she went about, huffing and puffing curses under her breath in all sorts of languages that she'd picked up over the years. But honestly, she believed she deserved a few moments of childish indignation, because she was sure that whatever that Brekker boy had in mind for her, it wouldn't be pretty.

Her one comfort was that he didn't seem to be interested in her than anything more that someone to blackmail to do his dirty work. Yvaine would die a thousand torturous and painful deaths before she let a man make her his slave or his whore, the best he'd be able to do would be fuck her corpse but even then, she'd be swallowed by shadow long before he even had the chance to touch her with his disgusting hands. She could do this, she would do whatever crime he wanted...because she was not going back to Deverous, she was not going back into that cage to be poked and prodded and leered at.

She couldn't do it, she could absolutely not do it again.

But finally, the sun began to peak out from behind the slanted homes and blending into the cloudy grey skies above it, shining through the windows and bathing her room in its gloomy light as she sighed, turning to blow out her candles that collected by her bedside and noting rather anxiously how small they were getting as the wax dwindled. She supposed she was going to have to buy some more soon...whenever she next got the chance to do so.

Yvaine took another glance towards the window, as if hoping her eyes had deceived her and she still had more time to wallow in her self pity, but no, of course she wasn't that lucky. However, before she could even curse at her own misfortune, she heard the familar knock at her door that made her shoulders physically deflate in something akin to relief. Because if she was going to deal with the horror show this day no doubt would become, at least a kind face would be the first thing to greet her.

"It's open, Mrs. Vallel!" She called out over her shoulder, rubbing the heel of her palm against her jaw, listening out for the way the door squeaked as the older woman came inside, footsteps uncharacteristically soft as she wandered further in and in all honestly, the shadow summoner couldn't blame her, because after she'd eventually managed to calm herself down after the strange interaction with the boy with the cane, she'd eventually pulled the Innkeeper aside and asked what she knew about Kaz Brekker.

And the way her eyes had rolled into the back of her head as she fainted in Yvaine's arms didn't exactly install her with alot of confidence.

"How are you feeling, dearie?" She asked softly, strangely lacking the tray that she usually carried whenever she'd appear and instead using that freedom to wring her liver-spotted hands together slowly, fingers running across her visible veins as she blinked up at the shadow summoner wearily. Now, Yvaine wasn't that well versed in...human emotion, but even she was able to see the anxiety in the frail looking innkeeper, and something inside her begged her to quench it as she tried her hand at a smile.

"I'm alright, Mrs. Vallel, truly. I know you may find this hard to believe, but I can handle myself."

Better than you or anyone else can ever know, she thought to herself dangerously, dark eyes catching the way the shadows gave a sudden flicker to the side of her, as if knowing where her mind had inevitably flashed to, the comfort and the horror of the black tendrils that could wreak havoc if only she allowed them too, and Yvaine had to force her gaze away to meet her elders for a distraction from her dark thoughts that plagued her.

"You're in Ketterdam now, dearie. And I'm afraid that no matter how strong you think you are, there is always stronger monsters around the very next corner."

But Yvaine only grinned, a secretive and unhinged smile that curled over the corner of her lips and showed a flash of dangerous teeth, and there was something about it that made the room seem colder, as if on the brink of freezing over as she moved, walking across the squeaky floorboards before reaching out to give Mrs. Vallel a soft and reassuring squeeze of her shoulder, eyes holding a certain promise as she ducked her head to hold the contact steady. "The earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were untouchable...and the monsters of Ketterdam will not be any different."

Not against me, she thought but didn't say, and with one final pat against weathered skin she was gone, leaving the innkeeper standing in the middle of her quiet room and thundering down the stairs, trying her best to keep her mind at ease and the darkness that battled inside her steady. She wasn't going back there, she wouldn't, she couldn't...and it seemed like for now, she'd be staying in the gloomy city a bit longer than she anticipated, but Yvaine was anything if not used to the unpredictable nature of life, and she was sure that she could handle it.

But the second her feet touched down against the cobblestones outside, it was like whatever confidence she'd faked in front of Mrs. Vallel curled up inside her like dying embers of a flame, her tongue feeling too big in her mouth and making her feel like she was about to choke on it in her anxiety. So she allowed herself a moment, just a moment while she was sure there was no one there to slip her hand behind her...just to feel the familar cold touch of the shadows as it reached out to greet her and then she was moving once more.

Every footstep feeling like it would shatter her unsteady bones, the cold air slamming against the apples of her cheeks until her jaw ached but she made sure to keep her head up, eyes sharp and dangerous as the stalked through the streets, because even though her mind was in turmoil, she couldn't look weak, like an easy meal. Yvaine had learned long ago that the best way to stay away from trouble was to make sure that you already looked like you'd been in it, and she'd already found that in Ketterdam, that advice only just rained true.

She tried to think of her game plan, tried to decide how she was going to act, what she was going to do or say but it was like her mind had drawn a blank, and instead all she could think about was steel bars and bleeding wrists and the haunting feel of loneliness and nothingness running deep into her veins. And before she knew it, the familar Club that had her pausing all those days ago came into view, and she knew that she was in the right place as she glared towards it...now the only question was, where was the Slat? And how was she meant to find it.

"You?!"

Yvaine froze, expression became a somewhat guilty grimace as the voice registered in her head to bring the memories back, and slowly turned to see Jesper wasn't it? The boy she'd taken the necklace from storming towards her with a face like thunder, his brows furrowed and hazel eyes shimmering with almost a comedic rage as he pointed his finger towards her, hardly even stopping until he was practically nose to nose with the shadow summoner who was really out of her depth here.

"You have some cheek coming back-"

"Save your speech, I've already been well and truly threatened by your little friend yesterday. Can't you tell by the way I'm shaking in my boots?" She snarked, ignoring his indignant look at being interrupted from his no doubt thrilling rant about how she was the devil incarnate, shoving her hands under her armpits to try and integrate some warmth in the shaking things as she looked over his shoulder in frustration, trying to find any sign of the elusive Slat but coming up empty.

"This is ridiculous." The shadow summoner finally grumbled as she walked straight on past him, not even pretending to listen to his ranting and raving as she stormed away with her head begining to ache, dark eyes flickering all around her as if such a place would magically plop up in front of her, but then again, Yvaine had never been that lucky, and it seemed that the headache only worsened when she heard footsteps following after her as she was quickly followed by the Zemeni boy.

"Now wait a minute, I definitely wasn't finished you-"

"Look, if you want an apology you're going to have to wait, I need to find the Slat so I can do whatever ridiculous thing it is that your boss wants me to do, okay? Then maybe if I have time, I'll buy you a drink and we'll call it even, yes?" She finally broke down, spinning on her heel to glare up at him with a sadistic grin plastered on her face that showed how close she was to losing whatever semblance of sanity she had left, hoping that the feral look on her face would be enough of a deterrent...only to blink as as his faux frown transformed into a blossoming smile that almost made the actual sun seem dull in its place.

"Well if you'd just led with that I wouldn't of wasted so much time, gorgeous! Come on then, follow me."

Yvaine blinked, wide-eyed and awfully confused as she watched him walk away from her, mouth opening and closing like a gaping maw of of fish as she struggled to spit out any sort of words that could even describe just how she was feeling. But that stunted and cautious state of mind only lasted a few moments before she was shrugging her shoulders and following after him, because honestly, at this point in the horror show she called a life, this might as well happen, and she was just becoming more and more numb to the weirdness of Ketterdam.

And it seemed like in no time at all, they arrived at a building that Yvaine just knew was their destination without Jesper having to open his mouth. It was an ugly thing, she thought with critical eyes, narrow and crooked with a garbled roof that looked all sorts of disastrous, but she could see where it had been given its name she supposed, unoriginal as it was, because the building seemed to tilt to one side, leaning against others beside it...well, at least it had personality?

"Are you just going to stand there and stare all day or are you coming inside?"

His voice broke her from her judgements, and she physically recoiled in shock at the abrupt noise before twisting her head to look over to where he stood, ring-clad hand spread open-palmed against the door and holding it open where she could hear voices roaring from inside as he watched her with a quirked brow.

And there was some small part of her, a meek and quiet voice that was absolutely terrified that begged her not to take that step, that whispered in her ear that she could still run, could fall back into the shadows, could let the Brekker boy tell Deverous all about her or maybe just silence him forever and reap the consequences later. But there was a hopelessness in her veins because she knew that if it wasn't Brekker, it would be Deverous, and if it wasn't Deverous, it would be someone else, someone stronger and worse because there were always bigger monsters than the devil you knew.

So with that voice firmly pushed back into the haunted shroud of her mind, Yvaine moved...but how was she to know that that one step would seal her fate?

"There we go, don't worry I don't bite, gorgeous. Well, unless you want me to." Jesper winked playfully, and she really only had a moment to wonder how he could act so normal around her after she'd stolen from him before she walked out from under his arm into the rather strange atmosphere of the Slat with a frown on her brow and a grimace set upon her lips. Welcoming...was definitely not a word she'd use to describe the place, it actually looked almost exactly how she'd imagined in from the outside except slightly less, well, bloody.

There was a saying that went something like that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover...but, considering Yvaine couldn't read she thought that she probably should be allowed to be an exception.

However, she didn't get much time to gawk and stare or even truly look around because it seemed the second her boots were touching the floor, Jesper was leading her away from the prying eyes of the rather rough looking inhabitants currently sitting in the room, towards a wooden staircase, telling her not to mind them under his breath as if he could feel her anxiety, giving her a little shove up the stairs to make her move and bringing up the rear behind her.

And as they mounted the steps one by one, with Yvaine trying to take as long as she could to try and buy herself some time to calm herself down, they finally came to a stop in front of a black door, and there was something so ominous about it that had her insides clenching up like she was going to be sick, shadows flickering around her as she just stood and stared until Jesper's cheerful voice echoed in her ears, clapping a large hand on her shoulder and shaking her from her thoughts of just throwing herself out of the nearest window.

"Good luck, gorgeous."

Once again, that didn't exactly install the upmost confidence in her, especially when he practically flew back down the stairs in an effort to get away and she had to physically fight down the urge to join him, taking a deep breath that filled her lungs and made them ache, before she raised her fist and knocked against the door, jaw clenched and teeth firmly planted in the bottom of her lip until she could taste copper on her tongue, and when no one answered, she narrowed her gaze and opened the door anyway.

"You're late." Kaz Brekker sat at his desk, and as soon as she laid her eyes upon him, rage consumed her mortal body and made her see red.

"I'm la- you didn't give me a time! Or directions!" She scoffed in disbelief as she quickly lost the cool and confident approach she was going for, the tips of her ears burning warm in her anger but the Brekker boy didn't even lift his head up towards her, still staring at the downright mess that was his desk, cold eyes cruel and glistening as he narrowed his gaze upon it, and Yvaine had to resist everything inside her body that begged her to march across the space and hit him. Oh saints, how she wanted to hit him.

"You found it, didn't you?"

"Barely-" She took a shaking breath, hands clenching and unclenching by her side as she felt that familar feeling of dread, of worrying coldness creep along side her spine, planting dead flowers along the crevices they found there until they'd bloom, stretching her out until she was too much, too big compared to the brittle bones that lay inside her. If she didn't keep calm, if she lost herself in the darkness, she'd never return. "Look, I'm here, alright? So just tell me what you want me to do or who you want me to steal from so we can get this over with."

"I'm suprised Jesper hadn't already told you, he has a nasty habit of that. Especially considering it's you that will be working with him tonight."

"Now wait a minute, that wasn't part of your shitty deal." Yvaine snapped quickly, heart beginning to pound as sweat gathered across the sticky skin of her palms. The anxiety she'd felt for whatever job he was forcing her hand to do already forgotten at his words. How was she meant to steal, to do anything if there was another with her? How was she meant to use the comfort and the terror that were her shadows to thrive. She wouldn't, she couldn't...she was so fucked.

"Problem, pick-pocket?" He finally, finally, looked up from the documents spewn about to quirk a dark brow, gloved hands holding his cane in a loose grip on the crow head as he turned to stare her down with darkness in his gaze, oceanic blue eyes that looked as rough as the seas she'd arrived on, just as sharp as death or as sin as they met her own as her upper lip curled in a snarl.

"Yes there is, I work alone."

"That's unfortunate. But you don't have a choice. You can either adapt...or crawl back home to Deverous, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to have you back." Brekker said calmly, brows lightly raised with a smug twitch of his lips, his rough voice hardly changing in pitch as he leaned towards her and tilted his head, just slightly because he knew, he knew he had her and that there was nothing she could do about it.

She took another breath and held it in her shaking grip as her eyes clenched shut, stomach curling in on itself, like there was nothing more than a crow strapped deep in her belly, beating to be freed with such a living weight, enraged and screaming, clawing and biting at her insides, grappling to be let out, to leave the scraps of her skin marred with darkness and be set free and she wanted to, oh, how she wanted to be free from the allure of the shadows. Because if they hadn't made her as she was, she wouldn't be there, wouldn't of been sought after, wouldn't be threatned to be locked in a cage like a bird with black feathered wings.

Yvaine opened her eyes...and the glimmer inside them was nothing short of monstrous as she sighed slowly. "What's the job?"
_________________________________________________

Kaz Brekker didn't make a lot of sense, actually, no, scrap that, he didn't make any sense at all. She still didn't actually know just what the job was, what her role was going to be, why they were doing it, how many of them were actually doing whatever it was, what it was going to entail and why it seemed that she'd be forced to count on the very boy she'd stolen from who seemed far too distracted by his own reflection to cover her back while her shadows couldn't.

The only thing she'd actually been given was the location and time and even that she'd practically had to force out of the boy.

So as night began to fall and Yvaine found herself scurrying across cobblestones, cursing every curse she knew under her breath, she was quite firm in her belief that whatever he had planned was going to be an absolute disaster. However, on the plus side, Deverous would probably have a harder time getting his hands on her if she was in prison...or buried in a ditch so either way, this was a win for her, which was a really grim way of looking at things but what other choice did she have except crying? Which she'd done plenty of last night.

But when she finally found herself at the revenues point, outside hidden in the shadows from a large looming mansion painted in rather despicable colours of grey and magenta, booming music echoing from the establishment with heckling voices that made anxiety rise even further inside her that she desperately tried to hide. There didn't seem to be a single soul in sight, except Brekker...who Yvaine was half serious in her belief that he didn't in fact have one, it probably had something to do with that hair. No one with hair that awful had a soul, there was absolutely no way.

However, unlike herself, it didn't seem that he was all that shocked at her appearance as she slowed to a stop just a few steps away from him, still hidden under the cover of darkness but refusing to get too close as he leaned against his cane and quirked a brow at her, obviously not going to elaborate on why he was there when she'd been told it would be Jesper. And to be quite frank, she'd much prefer the Zemeni boy to the one with the limp, mainly because she was pretty sure if she managed to annoy him too much, she'd be getting slapped with the cane he carried.

"Where's-"

"Already inside, doing his part I hope." He interrupted her, rough voice speaking slowly as he reached into his pocket with his free hand to pull out a silver pocket-watch, tutting at whatever time he found there before he tucked it back inside and, without looking back over to the shadow summoner, began to move over towards the mansion, seemingly without a care in the world as she hurried after him wide-eyed and very confused as she cast a cautious glance up that one of the balconies full of people.

"What? But I thought you said-"

"Plans change pick-pocket, I want to see your so called talents for myself. Let's hope you don't disappoint."

And Yvaine had a sudden sense of foreboding, her eyes glaring daggers into the side of his head as he came to a stop outside of a door, her upper lip curling in a frightful snarl as she realized just what had happened. She'd never been going with Jesper, there had been no change of plan, he just wanted to see her sweat and now, now she was truly debating if freedom was worth it because she was absolutely itching to just let her shadows run wild and add his stupid name to the list of bloodied mortals currently staining her hands and her mind.

But before she could attempt to do so, the door suddenly swung open with a muffled curse, and Jesper's familar pretty...and slightly sweaty face popped up from behind it as he quickly ushered them inside with a ridiculous looking outfit on that had Yvaine doing a double take as he winked down at her cheerfully with an adrenaline filled grin. "Sorry, the waiter I took this from put up a bit more of a fight than I was expecting."

Well, that explained that, she thought to herself, rubbing the heel of palm against her jaw anxiously as the Brekker boy sent him an annoyed look, feeling very out of her dept indeed as she just stood there, breathing and taking up empty air as the two began to talk, their voices drowning out inside the crashing waves of her mind that screamed at her to run while she still could. What was she even going to be doing here? The only reason she was a good pick-pocket was because no one expected the shadows to steal from them, so realistically, she was absolutely fucking useless.

"No mourners."

"No funerals."

Now wait a damn minute, Yvaine thought as she finally snapped back into the present, swinging her head around with a dark and dangerous glare to look over at the two boys who were, unfortunately, rather taller than her, which didn't exactly help her in the whole threatening escapade, but still, she prevailed as she laughed nervously. "I'm sorry? What the fuck is that meant to mean?"

"Don't worry, it just means good luck, gorgeous." Jesper grinned down at her, brilliant teeth shining in the dull light of the lantern as he walked past her, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly as he did so before he disappeared up the stairs, leaving her with Brekker as she blinked wide-eyed and mouth hanging open. She was pretty sure the usual expression for that was 'break a leg' but after glancing at the cane held in the dark-haired boys hand, she decided that she probably shouldn't voice those thoughts...out loud at least.

"Hurry up, pick-pocket. We don't have a lot of time."

He was already moving as he called for her over his shoulder, cane making a rather ominous slap against the floor as he went and Yvaine was quick to follow after him...after cursing his name under her breath that was, finding it somewhat ridiculous that no one seemed to know her actual name and insisted on calling her their own ridiculous versions of such. But she kept her complaints to herself, dark eyes moving around constantly as if awaiting something to jump out at her as they began climbing up another set of stairs, hands trembling by her side.

She was drowning with no life-preserver in sight, none of this was familar to her, no friendly face, nothing she could distract herself with and all it did was make her feel ill. The shadow summoner had absolutely no control over this situation, none at all and it put her on edge, she was all for chaos when she had an idea of the chaos in mind, but this? This was like she was blind, and was being forced to navigate without her sight with no help and it just set her teeth on edge...and if it wasn't bad enough a loud crash came from downstairs followed by yells had her heart practically leaping up into her throat as she choked.

"It's just Jesper." Brekker said, head turning left and right as they came to a stop in a hallway, his brows furrowing as his hand twitcher for a moment before he stormed ahead and pushed one of the doors open, gesturing towards Yvaine with his gaze set grimly, checking his pocket watch and grumbling under his breath. "Inside, now."

She really did not like this, not having a clue what was going on and just having to trust that the stranger who was blackmailing her knew what he was doing. But, biting down hard on her lip until she could taste blood, she did as he ordered, quickly picking up the pace as she rushed inside, wincing as the door closed behind her and trying not to focus on the fact she was in the room alone with the Brekker boy, feeling the shadows lick at the back of her calves in comfort or temptation she could never figure out, instead trying to focus on keeping her breath steady and mind at ease.

But as she looked around the room, she was once again filled with frustrating confusion, because there was hardly anything in the room that she could steal for him, unless he wanted the rather tacky looking rug rolled up for his office, but he didn't seem to be the type that liked that sort of pattern...or colour. And the only thing that looked even the slightest amount of interesting was a rather large safe, tucked off into a corner and doing an awful job at being hidden. Yvaine turned to Brekker, a question dying upon her lips, only to be interrupted when he beat her to it.

"Open it."

"What?!"

He quirked a dark brow, still leaning against his cane with one hand before gesturing towards the safe with the other, and Yvaine felt something in her stomach sink to the bottom of her toes as she gulped and scoffed in horrified disbelief. "I- I can't! I'm a pick-pocket, remember? My talents lie with stealing things not cracking open safes!"

"I'd suggest you get to it instead of wasting my time lying to me. It won't end well."

And that's when she realized just how much Brekker knew about her as he threatened her...again, just as she'd already suspected but hoped against every force in the universe that it hasn't been true. He hadn't just happened upon her name by simple chance...he knew exactly who she was, Deverous's little bird entrapped by skin, his pride and joy, beauty meddled with nimble fingers who'd rob you for everything you had and give nothing back...but no, no that wasn't who she was, that wasn't even half of who she was.

She hadn't been ripped open, maimed and frayed at every edge, twisted inside out and found unsightly, left to die on the streets and forced to fend for herself with bleeding knuckles and blood-stained lips, having to grab her own fate with greedy hands and mold her life into a life worth living, stamping over her once clean soul and making it dirty and disgusting but hers, completely and utterly hers to be remembered as nothing more than Deverous's little bird.

He knew nothing about her except what Deverous had allowed him to know...and so she'd allow him to think he knew her, think he had the upper hand but he wouldn't get the better of her, no one would ever get the better of her again. You couldn't burn what has already been scorched, so instead of screaming like she so desperately wanted to, she shrugged instead and swallowed her rage to breathe. "What part of this are you struggling with, Brekker? I can't open it! I don't know how."

"Well then, it seems Deverous greatly exaggerated your usefulness. It's a shame...for a moment I almost thought you had promise, pick-pocket."

A loud noise suddenly exploded through her eardrums causing her to hiss and physically recoil away from the dark-haired boy, instantly moving to cup her ears as if that would lessen the pain, the rising shadows that she hadn't even noticed slinking back into tremors of her skin and hiding in wait once more, catching the way even Brekker winced at the abrupt noise...before a smidgen of panic filled his dark gaze and they realized just exactly what the noise was...The alarm, the alarm had been set off, meaning that they were totally and completely fucked.

The door swung open, and Brekker quickly spun around, cane in hand and looking down right ready to maim until Jesper popped his head around it to look at the two anxiously, face a dark blush and panting for breath that was doing a rather good job at eluding him as he gasped up at them desperately, waving his hand out and over his head in some form of gesture. "We have to go! Guards. So tired."

"What's going on!"

"There's another gang, they went into the decoy room and set the alarm off, which has sent the guests into a frenzy. Now they're a good couple of guards heading straight for us."

From where she was standing, she could see the way his cheek twitched in displeasure, as if he was physically fighting off the urge to snarl like a feral dog, upper lip curling and eyes holding a ferocious anger that made her spine tingle, as if thousands of spiders were crawling up her neck and festering around her skin, getting ready to burrow deep inside her flesh and eat her from the inside out. But then, when he took a desperate step towards the safe, they all heard it...a guards voice, heavy and echoing through the hall as they got closer and closer, and she could see the fuming look on his face as he was forced to step away and limp towards the door with Jesper in tow.

But before she could follow after the two and escape off into the night hopefully unscathed and unstcrathed, Yvaine found her gaze inevitably falling back behind her, over her shoulder at where the safe lay and brought herself to a stand still, eyes flickering as the alarm bell rang and rang and rang inside her ears, drowning out any rational thoughts still hammering away at her mind until all that was left was a certain kind of rage, of spite that warmed her chest until it felt nothing short of burning.

Brekker wanted proof of her talents, did he? She thought to herself quietly as shadows began to unfold in her palm, linking through her fingers like a placebo touch of an intertwined embrace as a slow smile twitched at the corner of her lips, eyes firmly on the safe as thundering footsteps echoed in her ears, assuring her that she only had a mere moment to get out before they rained down upon her.

Brekker wanted to know why she was so expensive, so sought after...and after all, who was she to disappoint?

And then the shadows leapt from her skin, unleashed from their fleshed prison and rejoicing just as the door swung open, rushing towards the noise like haunting grim reapers, howling and starving with bellies empty...and then...in a matter of seconds there was just silence. Cold and deathly silence as Yvaine slowly walked across the floor, darkness dancing over the soles of her aching feet to keep her shoes from being stained as blood began to flow, sinking into the gaps of the tiles until she came to a stop at the safe, and with a simple twitch of her trembling fingers, it swung open...and she smiled, nothing more than a flash of teeth in terrifying darkness before she was gone from the room like smoke.

She caught up to the others fairly quickly, hiding in the shadows as she found them catching their breaths in a dark alleyway having made their getaway rather quick, Jesper panting with his hand clenched tight around his revolvers and a girl dressed in dark clothing standing beside him, head bowed to her intertwined palms as she whispered softly under her breath...But it was Brekker that Yvaine found herself staring at, looking at the cold and blistering frustration in his eyes, the snarl upon his bitter lips that sung of cruelty and blood and had to force her gaze away lest she got lost in the madness that made him.

"Wait, where's Yvaine? I don't see her."

"Who cares." Brekker suddenly hissed which make Jesper jump, the abrupt swell of enraged emotion leaving him breathless as he spat, running a hand through his dark strands of hair in frustration to push them from his face, before quickly becoming collected once more, straightening his back and brushing down the lapels of his coat as if it hadn't even happened in the first place, nose twitching as he fought to keep his expression aloof and still. "The girl is no use to the Crows, that much is obvious now, it appears that she just got lucky."

"Kaz, we can't just leave her there-" it was the girl that spoke up this time, her elegant hand with long fingers reaching up to pull the black mask down and away from her face...to showcase one of the most beautiful women Yvaine had ever seen in her short lifetime, so much so that she could do nothing but stare in awe for a few moments with her cheeks flushed and throat dry, falling back into the shadows once more as she shook her head at herself to pull herself together, and her saviour came in the form of Brekker's voice that washed over her like a bucket of ice water to make her see sense.

"We can and we will. Head back to the Slat, I didn't have time to grab the map...We'll have to wait a few more months in seems."

"Great! That's great to know that we almost died for nothing!" Jesper laughed loudly, so fake a high pitched that it almost made her giggle too as his arms spread out comically before coming to rest on his hips, staring down Kaz with a heaving chest and that was the moment that she finally grew tired of just observing and listening to them, and the truth of the matter was, she always did have such a flair for dramatics.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far." Yvaine finally spoke up with a voice like silk, sultry and dark as she stepped out of the shadows with her arms folded behind her back, quirking a brow in amusement at the way the three spun towards her, weapons pointed and gazes filled with a vengeful determination, but they thankfully lowered them when they recognised her features, Jesper sighing in relief while the Brekker boy looked half a second away from caving her skull in with his cane...which she was sure if she pushed enough he would most definitely do so.

However, before he could say or do anything of the sort, Yvaine reached behind her to pull the rolled up piece of parchment from her back, frowning down at it as she tossed it between one hand and the other in nonchalant grace, looking up just in time to catch the absolute human emotion of disbelief etched upon Brekker's face before it disappeared in his indifferent mask as she threw it towards him, watching as he caught it simply in his gloved grip, dark eyes unable to tear themselves away from hers as she quirked a brow and smiled sharply.

"All of this fuss for a piece of paper? I've got to say, Brekker...I'm almost disappointed, I was expecting so much...more."

She allowed her gaze to linger, sweeping up fron the bottom of his black boots to the top of his, quite frankly, ridiculous hair, making sure she got her point across that she wasn't just talking about the job, that she got her double-edged sword firmly integrated in his guts as he scowled down at her but she only smirked, rage still simmering in her gut like a hissing snake as she turned her back and stormed away without so much of a backward glance behind her.

...Leaving the murder of Crows still staring off after her, one in absolutely comedic awe, the other in confusion and the final one in something akin to resentment as his dark eyes watched her go, his hand clenched tightly around the Cane in his hand until he could feel the sharp end of the beak cutting into his palm, but still, he didn't relent to pressure, not even when she finally disappeared from his view and he could feel Jesper and Inej turning to stare up at him in question, or, in the formers case, amusement.

"Guess she really is lucky, huh boss?"

"Shut up, Jesper."

Chapter Text

But despite Brekkers, quite frankly, boring attempts at making her feel like his lesser, she found herself continuing to make sure that even when she was being given a break from his downright dangerous greed for kruge through all sorts of ridiculous heists, she was still using her talents for her own freedom by swiping her hands into rich looking pockets and bowing down under the shadow of the night to sneak into mansions to take things that looked expensive and plopping them onto his desk when he wasn't there before disappearing as quickly as she could off into the darkness.

Anything she could take, could give to make sure that she wouldn't go back into that cage she did so. And she knew that he knew that it was her leaving such trinkets amongst the clutter of documents and letters and all sorts of odd stuff that she didn't bother pretending to read on his desk, because on the first day she'd done it he'd limped down into the Crow club and when she'd looked up to meet his gaze, all he did was quirk a brow, with the pocket watch she'd stolen weighing a heavy golden weight in his front pocket.

Yvaine could only hope he was adding up all the things she stole and gave to him onto her blackmailed dept and not just taking them for himself and dancing in the profits...but there was something warm in her gut that told her he did.

Because all though she might of hated to admit it...and observe it, Kaz Brekker was many, many things, but unfair didn't seem to be one of them. But even so, she still refused to interact with him much unless she had too, mainly because every second she spent in his presence had the shadows itching across her skin and seeping into her flesh, begging into her ear about the promise of destruction, disliking the feeling of being indebted just as much as their host did, and, never having her shadows react to a person like that before, she decided it best to join his efforts of avoiding her.

Which was ironic considering she couldn't help herself and usually spent alot of the time in the Crow club when she wasn't stuck doing some adrenaline-inducing crime with Dirtyhands breathing down the back of her neck at every turn, cheering Jesper on as he gambled his life away, and away from prying eyes using the shadows just slightly to help him with his endeavors, and trying all sorts of drinks the Zemeni boy threw at her with a twinkle in his eye and a grin upon his lips, seemingly keen on corrupting her into his down right chaotic personality and bringing her on a very clear path to join him.

She'd never really had a friend before in truth, never really had anything except the darkness that had shadowed her her whole life...and she imagined that whatever she had with the sharpshooter must of came pretty close to it.

But, there was another crow from the band of criminals that Yvaine would be lying if she said she didn't want to get close with, the suli girl from that night with those stunning dark eyes and long braided hair that had seemed to practically walk out of a fairytale. She'd learned from Jesper her name was Inej Ghafa whom the shadow summoner was assuming had been watching her from the shadows that day when the Brekker boy had black-mailed her into becoming his lackey and apparently...she was someone you did not want to get on the wrong side of, considering her aim was impeccable and you could quite possibly loose and ear or two.

Of course, that had actually made her want to know her more but there seemed to be a bit of a problem...which wae everytime Inej actually tried to talk to her or even simply smiled at her in passing or from afar, Yvaine became a tongue tied mess that could barely stutter out an hello, and every interaction that she'd had during the first week of her 'working' with them had left her cheeks and the tips of her ears constantly burning.

She was a mess for lack of better word, so she'd decided that Jesper was her safest bet, and simply delved into the chaos that was his friendship because the other two options were so far out of reach...not that she wanted to reach for Brekker, like she said, temperament of a wet cat and a glare that sent shivers down her spine made her very keen to give the boy a wide berth and just hope that she'd be quick to made the kruge she needed to get away from him and out of Ketterdam...though, there was some part of her that would probably miss the Zemeni boy...and Mrs. Vallel.

Speaking of which, Yvaine was currently standing outside of the Crow club having saying her goodbyes to a distracted Jesper, a certain tiredness radiating from her body in waves as she slumped down for a moment and yawned into her open palm, the bags under her eyes getting deeper and darker with every day that passed...but most nights she couldn't find it in herself to sleep, not with the nightmares that plagued her mind or the jobs she'd be forced to work by Brekker's hand that left her in a constant limbo of exhaustion.

However, she'd only walked a few feet away from the rowdy club before she was bringing herself to a stop, a light furrow to her brow as she felt the shadows begin to whisper to her, itching under her skin like some ominous warning like they had done for the past week, warning her of someone following her, watching her from above. Only this time, unlike the other nights, Yvaine decided she need to know why as she slowly turned her head to stare up at the rooftops beside her with her head tilted to the side.

"So, is there a reason that you're following me?" She asked into the open air, voice cool and collected but her eyes dark and holding a cautious glint as she watched the shadows flicker for half a second, before a figure slowly appeared from the darkness, standing up from their hidden crouched position and scaling from the roof to the wobbly ground below them with a grace Yvaine was most definitely jealous of as they did so without so much as even a grunt of effort.

And, in truth, she already had a suspicion of who it was following her, and that suspicion was only proven correct as a familar looking hand reached up to pull a dark mask away from stunning features to show Inej, standing there with no sign of guilt or awkwardness as she held Yvaine's gaze and lifted her chin in some form of greeting at being caught. "I just want to make sure you get home safe...Ketterdam is a dangerous place to be after dark."

"Trust me, I know all about the dangers of the dark, but I'll be fine, especially considering, you know, it's not actually night yet." Yvaine smiled somewhat playfully, a warm feeling settling in her stomach at the confession before gesturing up to the skies above them that were yes, rather gloomy and dull, but were less of the black smoky ink she'd come to associate with night-time, and more of an ashy grey as the sun continued to lower and lower over the slated houses, but technically, still in the thrall of the evening.

"Right. You know, I think this might be the longest conversation we've had, I was starting to think you didn't like me."

Yvaine's tired face instantly pulled into an apologetic grimace, moving as if to step forward and reassure her but thinking the better of it, her hand instead lifting up to rub against her dark puffy eyes that still ached with the need to sleep as she thought of an excuse that wouldn't offend the girl, while also not dropping her in it that she was a flustered mess around beautiful women...the last thing she needed was Brekker finding out her weaknesses. "Sorry, guess I'm still getting the whole, human interactions down, but I promise I'll do better."

"I'll hold you to that." Inej smiled, nothing more than a slight upturn of her lips but there was just something about it that sent the shadow summoners heart pounding, because she had very serious doubt that she'd ever see a sight so pretty and that thought alone caused the tips of her ears to burn in a hot flush, before she blurted out her goodbyes and walked away as quickly as her legs could carry her, hoping the suli girl hadn't seen the blush that had curled over her cheeks as she felt her hesitate, lingering in the shadows until Yvaine was out of sight and then heading back for the Slat.

And Yvaine could safely admit that she was happy with the interaction between the two that had taken place, happy that she finally, finally was able to talk to the wraith without making a fool out of herself, but then again, she couldn't really fault herself on it that much, Yvaine had always been a bit of an idiot around a pretty face, but she was getting better at it...at least she assumed she was, considering she hadn't blurted out her life story at the girl, or complimented her with every compliment known to man until she'd inevitably lose her voice.

There was a light shower hailing from the sky as she walked the streets, humming some form of nursery rhyme under her breath as the dribble of rain landed all around her, sinking in to the uneven cobblestones and small holes in the ground, readily filling up with water that she took some pleasure stepping in, grinning like a child in a candy store as she practically danced in the rain.

It was quite funny that she'd hated this weather when she was younger but now adored it even more than the sun...but she supposed that was bound to happen now she knew she had some place to rest her head when the nights got cold as she came closer and closer to her destination, yawning tiredly as the inn she'd been residing in for the last couple of week came into view.

...But the moment her eyes happened upon it, the tune she'd been humming died on her tongue, an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of her stomach, malicious and wrong as she slowly brought herself to a pause just before her fingers could brush over the door handle. Cold dread settling deep in her bones as she felt the shadows flicker, threatening to sink into her skin as rip her apart at the seams as they felt something she didn't, ordering her, begging her, mourning her not to open the door to the horrors inside.

Yvaine had never been that good at listening, and her hand stretched like a beating wing as it winded around the door and pushed it open...only to be bathed in darkness, but for once instead of fearing it, she welcomed it as the door slammed shut behind her, quieter than a whisper, but the gush of air that curled around her neck was nothing short of threatening. She was alone here, alone facing whatever it was that had the shadows festering like rotting corpses, growing more and more disgusting with every moment that passed, but still, she prevailed and stepped further inside.

A muscle in her jaw clenched, the sharp bone looking as if it were moments away from bursting from its fleshy prison as she looked around in a full circle, eyes flickering like burning embers as they danced from place to place with only the dull light of the window to guide them, glancing over at the desk her innkeeper usually sat at only to find an absolute mess scattered across the floor, a splatter of blood against the lamp she kept on the side of it, the bulb smashed and in pieces, embedded deep in the carpet from heavy footsteps.

The shadow summoner quirked a single, almost patronising brow at the scene, before turning her back and begining to stroll towards the stairs, one, thundering and loud step at a time as they creaked beneath her boots ominously as she paced up them slowly, long spindly fingers brushing over the bloody scratch marks that tore the wallpaper, making it wrinkle and cinch up and painting it a rather small eye sore indeed.

With every flight of stairs she came up at, the darkness inside her twisted, stinging like saltwater in her veins as they sung and screamed and snarled, desperate to devour, to be unleashed as they wreak havoc under her skin, filling her lungs with dust and decay, lingering in the aftermath of the coldness of her eyes as she climbed and climbed and climbed. She knew exactly where they were as she finally touched upon the hallway leading to her room, making sure that her calm breaths were heard as her hear pounded in terrible excitement, deadly and dangerous and looking nothing like the girl who had blushed and smiled at the Wraith just an hour before.

And sure enough, from inside she could hear it, hear everything, the sobbing whispers, the creaking of the floorboards, the harsh breathing in the silence if her room as she cane to a stop in front of her door, and pressed her steady palm against it to push it open and stepped inside without a moment of hesitation, face nothing more than a blank canvas that screamed of war, of promised destruction...but it seemed that everyone was too blind to see that Yvaine was simply a storm with skin, but they would, they always would find out eventually.

Mrs. Vallel, a bruise against her weathered skin and making her once kind eyes swollen and dull as the young girl snapped out her every wound and stored it in her mind, her facial expression not changing through she couldn't control the way her hands clenched by her side, staring at the bloodstained cloth tied tight around the innkeeper's gentle mouth, making her yelling muffled as she screamed at Yvaine, who was able to pick out a few words and knowing what the old woman wanted as she tried to warm her, to protect her, that it was a trap and she was in danger...but the shadow summoner didn't even flinch, not even when the door slammed shut behind her...and it wasn't her doing.

"Well, well, well...looks like I've just got a lost little bird."

A familar voice crooned darkly in her ear as he came up beside her, chest brushing against her back and breathing in deeply with his nose practically buried in her hair, feeling the sharp edge of a knife as it danced over her spine, digging in deep at the skin and clothes it found there but not cutting into it, not quite yet, but still, Yvaine kept herself still, didn't give him the pleasure of a reaction as she stared out ahead of her, not tearing her eyes away from the old woman and praying to every saint that she could see the apology in her eyes.

"Lowell. Probably should of known it was you...being Deverous's little bitch and all. Tell me, does it ever get tiring being his personal boot-licker?"

"That's a nice scar there, little bird. Suits you nicely." He whispered thickly, moving the knife so it trailed over the somewhat still healing scar, forcing her mind to flash back to a splurt of blood splashing against her forehead, brain matter tangling in her hair as a body dropped on top of her, mouth filling with bile and the taste of copper heavy on her tongue as his head was sliced in two, but she couldn't mourn him because she still had to move, forced to push his body off of hers and run with tears blurring her vision and legs trembling just to hear a sudden whoosh of air and feel a terrible pain in her jaw as a throwing knife sliced across her skin and made a chunk of flesh hang open grotesquely but still, she ran...and finally allowed the shadows to rise and meet her as Lowell's screams haunted the night.

There was a chuckle that brought her out of her miserable memories of her escape and she forced her body not to tense as he moved, body pressed tightly to hers as he circled her like predator to prey but when he finally came to face her, face mangled almost beyond recognition with deep black marks sunken into the grisly skin, the smile that danced across her lips was nothing short of devilish. "Perhaps you'd like one to match- oh, wait, I see it's a bit late for that."

"You little bitch-" she felt the pain before she seen the backhanded slap rushing towards her face, her cheek stinging as her head was whipped to the side of the force from it and making her jaw ache as it clenched tightly, teeth grinding together as she refused to cry out, never wanting to give him the pleasure. And yet, saying that, there was still an frustrating phantom throbbing in her bony wrist that had never truly healed right, clinking everytime she twisted it, turned it, moved it.. and standing in front of the man who'd crushed that very bone only filled her with a terrifying rage.

The scar on her jaw, her wrist, the mangled flesh that was her back...all of this he'd done to her on Deverous's orders...but Deverous wasn't there now, wasn't there to scare her into submission, to lock her back into a cage...and the fear of her shadows had all but disappeared and left nothing but hatred in its wake, she wasn't the girl she was all those months ago, and she'd never be that girl again she thought as she dragged her gaze up to meet his, feeling a hint of copper on her tongue as her bottom lip trembled up into another bloodied smile.

"You still hit like a cunt."

He snarled, knife clenching tightly between his trembling palm and when he swung for her again she knew that this time, this time he intended to take alot more off of her than a simple inch of skin...but the only problem was that she was faster...and she was no longer the coward she once was as she reached up, grabbing his wrist with one hand and twisting it behind him as he yelled out in pain, his leg bending at the knee as he tried to squirm away from the pressure...only for her foot to come smashing down upon it, snapping it in two as his wounded howls filled the air.

There was a feral look in her eyes, gone was the calculated coldness as she threw him across the floor, knowing he wasn't going to go anywhere as she quickly scurried over to Mrs. Vallel and pulled at the knot of the cloth to realese her, whispering mournful apologies before working on her other bonds with trembling fingers, guilt settling deep in her bones that only calmed when the moment the innkeeper's hands were free, she used that freedom to cup her burning cheek and force Yvaine's eyes to meet hers as she tutted.

"We should probably get some ice on that, dearie."

And Yvaine couldn't help herself as she laughed, a broken sounding laugh that sounded more like a sob than anything else, nodding her head and allowing herself a moment to breathe as she helped the older woman up, heart pounding as she checked over her once more and every wound she found etched upon her wrinkled skin just sent another swell of guilty pain straight through her chest like a bullet.

But she was so focused on her own guilty conscience, so focused on getting her innkeeper out of the room as quickly as she could and tensing to her that she forget that Lowell was many things...but a quitter wasn't one of them as her ears picked up the familar sound of a knife being unsheathed, and she just had time to look over her shoulder to see him standing, leaning against a wall just as the knife was sent soaring toward them, the slick noise slicing through the air unpleasantly and heading straight for the back of Mrs. Vallel's unprotected head.

She didn't have time to think, didn't have time to hesitate...all she knew was that the innkeeper had been nothing but kind to her, something she was so unused to and desperate to feel more of...and then she was throwing her hands out and the shadows were rising up, catching the knife as if were a hand, black spindly smoke swirling around it and forcing it to spin around, omniously and slowly so that Lowell could see its dramatics before the darkness flung it back towards him with an idle wave of her hand, burying deep into his stomach with a disgusting squelch as he slumped back down again against the window, his blood smashing against the clear panes grotesquely.

Yvaine held his eyes, watching as he fought for breath as it escaped his lips in wheezing gasps, wanting to watch as the life left them as she stalked closer, every step forcing the shadows to stretch, growing darker and fuller, more lively as they festered upon her unholy anger like beggars to saints until she finally stopped in front of him and stared at him, grimacing in disgust as he grinned with red-stained teeth. "He's going to find you, little bird. He's going to find you and he's going to break you."

"No...he won't."

He chuckled, a noise a wet sound as more blood dripped from down his lips, spilling over his chin and dripping onto the floor below him, and Yvaine could only imagine how much pain the action caused him as he clutched desperately at his wounds, but obviously knowing it was all for naught as he allowed his hand to fall by his side, and lift his gaze to look her dead in the eyes with no fear for death in sight, giving her his last, parting words as a gift. "I'll see you in hell, shadow summoner."

"Be sure to tell them who sent you." She whispered thickly, bottom lip trembling in her vengeful terror, before the shadows twisted around her and shot forwards, faster than any train, any animal, any bullet as it collided with his body and sent him soaring out of the window, the sounds of shattering glass and the pain that followed as they scratched her face nothing more than an afterthought as she heard the disgusting dull thud of his body hitting the ground outside, death passing over them quickly to take him in their ever-waiting grip.

But Yvaine didn't celebrate, didn't sigh in relief at her quick rescue that left them both relatively unharmed as she stood, staring out into the gloomy skies of Ketterdam with her face paling drastically and hands trembling by her side, knowing that there was no way that Mrs. Vallel hadn't seen the shadows that bowed to her and ruled her in the same breath, and that there was only a matter of time before she'd be chased out of the inn with pitchforks and flames.

She kept staring out ahead of her with her jaw clenched shut even when she felt the old woman hobbled up beside her, doing her best to hide her terrified flinch when she felt her weathered arm brushing against her side, joining her to look out of the window but instead of glancing at the sky, the innkeeper looked down at where her temporary captor had landed with a sigh so loud that it made her bones ache. "Oh, that was right on my bins."

"...I'll reimburse you for them."

Yvaine finally uttered hesitantly after a long pause, because out of all the things she'd been expecting the gray-haired woman to say or do, that most definitely hadn't been at the top of the list as she turned her head to blink at her in confusion, but Mrs. Vallel only added onto it by smiling brightly, crows feet crinking tightly around those soft eyes that only highlighted the blossoming bruise there, a slight coo to her voice as she lifted her hand to lightly pat the shadow summoners uninjured cheek gently. "Such a sweet girl. Now come on dearie, I think some tea is in order don't you? And while we're there, you can tell me everything."

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Chapter Text

Explaining things to Mrs. Vallel had been relatively easy, after all, who doesn't like to re-live through some of the more traumatic events that had taken place in her very short lifetime, even though she'd kept it short and sweet, holding the ice to her cheek and fighting off tears all the while. But, afterwards, Yvaine had realised that the strange duo had a bit of a problem...that problem being there was most definitely a dead body still outside atop the bins where anyone could see them, and the shadow summoner was pretty certain that she didn't plan to get caught for it.

So, after quickly taking a drink from the whisky spiked tea the old woman had made, Yvaine was rushing outside, her whole body aching and making her exhausted state well known as she slipped into the small alleyway just next to the large inn and almost falling over in her haste, but feeling herself draw to a stop, her eyes flickering for half a second around the shadows that began to squirm, feeling her presence as she stood there, watching them with unease like one would watch a stray dog, not knowing if it were rabid or gentle and rather hesitant to find out.

But, after a few moments of just staring while continuously losing daylight with the sun shrinking ever further into the horizon below, Yvaine finally forced herself to move, sinking into the darkness that licked at her ankles like a threatening promise before seeping back into the crevices of the building, disappearing into the cracks and giving the girl a moment to breathe as her heart stuttered inside her chest, bottom lip trembling as her footsteps echoed through the sudden silence.

Lowell was thankfully exactly where she'd left him, brain matter scattered across the pavement while his body hung limply over the bin, scarred and disfigured and dead, causing relief to settle in her bones, grim satisfaction at her half revenge for what he did to her, what he'd been ordered to do to her as he took pleasure out of it, her screams, her begs for mercy, to be let out, to not be swallowed by shadow as it consumed her, made her nothing, nothing but a rotting corpse that was still somehow alive with stained hands and cursed morality...

Nothing more than shadow, nothing more than darkness made flesh.

"Shut up." She snapped at no one but herself as soon as those depressing thoughts twirled around her mind, hands trembling by her side as she viciously shook her head, trying to keep herself steady, unbent and unbroken as she took a determined step forward only to freeze, grimacing in disgust as her boot squelched in something that looked...meaty. And the young girl barely managed to keep herself from gagging, a small burp escaping her lips and being caught into the palm of her hand as she desperately tried to keep her dinner firmly inside her stomach.

Which turned out to be a really hard feat indeed considering the circumstances that yes, had been her fault. After all, she was sure there were other ways she could of killed Lowell that wouldn't of been so messy, but in her defence she'd been a bit short on time and braincells to be worried about scraping him off the cobblestones before the crows could pick off at his skin...which could quite possibly work- no, no she wasn't as far gone yet as so let a man be eaten by birds.

At least not yet anyway, five years ago she'd been so sure she wouldn't ever kill again to survive and look at her now...hands so stained with the blood of others that they were practically leaking out at her every seam.

However, just as her trembling fingers enclosed around his hairy ankle, or at least what was left of it, her head snapped up with horrified realisation in her dark eyes as she heard footsteps echoing through the silent street in front of her and a strangely familar voice humming as it breezed through the air without a care in the world, dancing over her wars and finally drowning out the ringing that had been haunting her as she blinked, her mind taking a second to catch up to her senses but the moment it did, she found herself ready to start screaming.

Yvaine quickly cursed under her breath as the shadows flickered around her, ready to encase her in their cold grip to hide her from prying eyes in their awful and possessive protection but before they even had a chance to do so...Jesper Fahey strolled around the corner with a skip in his step, long fingers tapping against his hip where his revolvers lay before taking a glance down the alleyway by chance with his pretty lips pursued...only to freeze and take a second look, the tune dying upon his lips as he stared at the body, and then her...and then the body once more.

"This isn't what it looks like!"

She instantly pulled a face as soon as those cursed words had left her lips, teeth baring into a grimace as she looked down at the mangled corse of her own making that she was still touching and then back up to Jesper who was looking rather pale indeed as he stood there, disgusted and looking half a second away from throwing up causing her to sigh, digging her tongue into the side of her cheek in frustration before finally dropping the foot on the ground and wincing at the dull thud.

"Yeah no, no this is actually exactly what it looks like, I don't know why I lied like that."

The sharpshooter finally moved from his shockingly great impression of a statue and stepped forward into the dark alleyway alongside her completely, clearing his throat as if preparing himself to say something, or possibly just start screaming and yelling, only to gag a moment later, looking off to the side as he desperately tried to catch a hold of himself, hands bracing against his hips and breathing in deeply with his throat spasming in its efforts to keep his lunch firmly inside him stomach but obviously having difficulty with the mess of the situation at hand.

But, after a minute or two of him just standing there and breathing while Yvaine watched him with wide-eyed horror like a deer on train tracks, Jesper slowly looked up at her, refusing to look back down at the body spewed all over the place and finding her pretty face a welcome distraction, getting ready to, quite frankly, freak the fuck out on the mess of a situation she'd gotten herself into...but after looking at her property, looking at the fear shining in those dark eyes of hers, the shaking of her bony hands, and the large bruise blossoming over the high arch of her cheek bone that was forcing the skin there to swell and darken...suddenly he couldn't find it in himself to care all that much.

"Are we burning or burying?"

Yvaine stalled, mouth hanging open to catch flies in an unattractive image as she watched the Zemeni boy begin to roll up his sleeves, showing the stunning skin underneath littered with a few scarred imperfections from his dangerous endeavors of being Dirtyhands second in command. But all the shadow summoner did was blink in confusion as she frowned at him, because in her defence, in all the things she was expecting him to do or say, that had most definitely not been one of them. "Uh, what?"

He gave a sudden chuckle, still looking grossed out with the alleyway as a whole as behind him, the skies began to grow darker and darker, pulling the skies into another starless night that would probably only help the two more as he strolled over to her, somehow managing to avoid stepping into something disgusting unlike herself, and when he finally got within touching distance, he smiled down at her with a cocky wink. "Well, unless you want him strung up for the stadwatch to see, we're probably going to have to start moving him, love."

"We?"

"Yeah, we."

It seemed the confused frown was becoming a permanent feature on her face as she stared at him while he looked at the body of mangled flesh, lips twisted to show a hint of sharp and biting teeth while her eyes held a certain cautious suspicion, not truly understanding when she had become we, and why the sharpshooter was risking getting arrested or worse just to help her...but unable to find any clear motive in mind, and so she finally asked, a bit more aggressive that she'd liked but still. "Seriously? Just like that you're going to help me? You don't even know why I killed him."

"I don't need to." He said simply, before placing his hand into hers and squeezing reassuringly in an attempt to stop her trembling, hoping to whatever higher force there was that she could see the sincere admiration that he held for her, and deciding it best that he simply showed it to her as he stepped away, breaking her limp hold and then using said hands to brace against his hips with a huff before clapping, and wincing slightly at the echo that came with it, quickly looking around to make sure no one heard.

"Now...do you have a wheelbarrow by chance? Because this-" Jesper quickly gestured towards everything that looked even slightly disgusting, eyes flickering over to the blood splatters all over the walls, the vital looking organs splayed out over the cobblestones and the mangled corpse of someone that looked like they'd been throw under a carriage, and then another carriage, and then another one drawn by at least eleven horses. "-This is a lot."
_________________________________________________

And it was only two hours later that the strange duo had finally finished covering up her sinful crimes, the remains of Lowell hidden in the earth through some vicious circle of life, buried in dust and dirt and rotting mud. A fitting fate if she'd ever seen one for someone so vile and as cruel as the man who'd ordered his hand to harm and kill and maim...just like he'd forced many others before him, just like he'd forced hers.

"Well...that went well."

Yvaine glared over to Jesper in obvious contentment as she was brought out of her violent memories of the past, noticing how he was avoiding looking at her at all costs lest he see the steam practically blowing out of her ears. There was not one inch of her skin that wasn't covered in some form of dirt, or at least what she was hoping was mainly dirt considering it was now too dark to be able to tell what was earth and what was the liquefied remains of Lowell, but, for what was left of her sanity, she decided not to question it, instead smiling sarcastically with barely concealed rage.

"Which part? When we almost got caught or when you almost buried me alongside him."

"That was an accident! How long are you going to hold that against me!" The sharpshooter whined back at her with a loud groan that echoed through the silence, wiping the glistening sweat from his forehead with the back of his dirty hand and feeling it stick there with a disgusted grimace, the poor boy feeling like perspiration was dripping from his every perfect imperfect pore as he grumbled to himself quietly in dull complaint, tan coat held in the free crook of his arm as he navigated through the Barrel streets with ease.

"It just happened twenty minutes ago, Jesper!"

"Exactly! You need to learn to let things go, gorgeous."

She didn't have anything to say to that, at least nothing polite as she took a deep and steady breath in an effort to calm herself, hands trembling by her side as she felt the swell of darkness hang over her head like an ominous shadow of her own creation, feeling the caked mud on her face crickling into the lines of her skin as she frowned and shook for control. In truth, she could do with a nap, a really long nap to try and forget about the horrors of the day, the horrors she'd committed and would continue to commit in the name of survival...but after a moment, she couldn't help but feel...like something wasn't quite right.

"I feel like we forget something."

Jesper glanced towards her finally, his sharp eyes flickering up and down her body, noting the shoes still on her feet, the clothes she'd been wearing this morning (although they were far dirtier than they had been), the hair-tie still keeping her fringe out of place and couldn't find a single thing missing on her appearance, and it wasn't like Yvaine kept weapons or anything of the sort either so it couldn't be that...and he knew that if he'd been the one to forget something of his he would of known alot sooner...which left only one thing. "Didn't we have a wheelbarrow?"

And sure enough, the shadow summoner found herself glancing down at her hands that were held in front of her painted with rings and bracelets that definitely weren't hers and nor had they ever been, as if expecting herself to be pushing Mrs. Vallel's handy wheelbarrow across the uneven cobblestones with callous's forming on her fingers. But of course, there was no such thing, because obviously she was the most fucking useless criminal there was to the point where she couldn't even remember what they'd used to transport the body of the man she'd killed.

"...Fuck! We are so bad at this!" She exclaimed, stopping in the middle of the street and throwing her hands in the air in frustration, forcing Jesper to duck out of the way to avoid getting slapped in the face and uncaring of how crazy she looked as she proceeded to drag said hands down her cheeks, pulling at her eyelids and showing the whites of her eyes as she did so, groaning and whining into her palms while the Zemeni boy ushered her along from prying gazes, making sure his revolvers were on show to send a dangerous threat to anyone that gave them as much as a second look.

"Saints help us."

"I didn't know you were religious." Jesper said, trying to ease the tension as he wrapped an comforting arm around her shoulders, squeezing softly only to have Yvaine glare up at him darkly, which, quite frankly, scared the hell out of him to the point not even Kaz's silent rage could come close. Because there was something about the flickering shadows that were her eyes that sent his heart plummeting down to his stomach in fear of how it completely transformed her to troubled girl to devil incarnate, only just able to fight off a shiver as he chuckled nervously. "Look, it'll be fine, we'll just tell Kaz and he'll-"

"We're not telling Brekker." She quickly ordered, shaking her head with a hiss as if the very though of doing so had burned her.

But unfortunately for Yvaine, what she didn't know was that she wasn't getting alot of choice in the matter, because the moment the strange duo had finished burying the body, Jesper had been leading her to the only place he knew that could actually help her, whether it be to buy a simple drink or to get advice from the ever wisdomous Wraith...and as soon as those words had left her lips, he found his grip tightening as he winced, baring his teeth to the cold air as the slanted roof came into view for weary eyes. "Tough luck, because we've just arrived at the Slat...and he'll probably only hear it from me later on anyway."

Saints, why her? What had she done to deserve this hell? The shadow summoner thought to herself with mounting desperation, just wanting to sit on the wet ground and start sobbing like an infant, pride long forgotten and making its grave alongside Lowell's haunted corpse, but instead of doing just that, she instead scowled at Jesper and hoped he could see the breakdown about to be performed but he only shrugged at her, somewhat defensively. "What? I like you and everything love, but I'm not risking the boss's rage...last time that happened I got hit with his cane and I was bruised for months."

And for a moment, Yvaine wondered just what she was doing, with Jesper, in Ketterdam, with this life in general, but as she seen the warm glow of the Slat as they got closer and closer to the door, feeling the cold chill of the night air as it nipped at her cheeks and made the skin it found there ache, she couldn't bring it in herself to care all that much, and promising herself that she'll be in and out as fast as she can, she bowed under pressure with a loud sigh. "Fine! But I hope you know that I don't like this...at all!"

However, it was obvious that Jesper didn't care all that much as he shrugged once more, leading her inside and opening the door for her as she limped on through, still grumbling and cursing under her breath in frustration and desperately ignoring the curious gazes of the inhabitants roaming around the Dregs hideout lest she start tearing out eyes in her mounting rage that blossomed inside her like a raging fire that burned her insides with dangerous intentions.

But those thoughts of shadowed destruction were quickly wiped from her mind as she noticed a familar face standing at the top of the stairwell...well, it seemed like she was only standing there for a singular moment before Yvaine blinked and Inej was suddenly on the ground floor having leaped over it, moving towards them with a stunning grace that radiated from her every pore, her walk like some intimate dance that only she knew as she moved her way over towards them, eyes wide and confused. "Jesper? Yvaine? Why are you here?...and why are you both covered in dirt?"

Said duo exchanged tired looks, both of their faces saying everything while Inej looked between the two in confusion, gaze tracing over the dirt obscuring Yvaine's pretty features and the bruises forming heavy against her cheekbone...but whatever question she was about to ask was interrupted when Jesper gave the dirty looking girl a gentle shove towards the stairs with a weary sigh. "You go to Kaz's office, I'll explain everything to Inej, love."

"You don't even know everything." The shadow summoner grumbled carelessly over her shoulder as she walked up the stairs, grunting with every step that made her feel like her literal bones were shaking in her prisoner flesh, and in her exhausted haste, missing the concerned sheen in Inej's dark brown eyes as she watched her go, staring at the way her legs trembled and her face seemed so vacant before Jesper grabbed her attention, beginning to regale the wraith with the story of the night dramatically.

Each step Yvaine took was lingering, reluctant, as if the earth itself was trying to pull her down into its fiery pits as the stairs creaked underneath her feet, each grating noise ringing in her ears until it was painful, and then she found herself standing outside of Brekker's door, breath escaping her cracked lips softly as she froze, not wanting to take that final step, not wanting those clinical and cold blue eyes of his to look at her and see the fear reflecting on her face...but knowing that if she held it off any longer, she'd lose whatever semblance of a nerve she had left.

And so, she took a deep, calming breath and simply pushed the door open.

"You're late-" And as per usual, he barely even spared her a glance as she practically burst in through the doors of his office with her familiar glare upon her features in an effort to feel more like herself, doing nothing more than lifting his gaze for half a second to look at her quickly before they were dropping back down to his desk in disinterest, gloved fingers dancing over his pieces of papers, letters and documents, an assortment of things that she couldn't even begin to understand with a grace she was almost jealous of. "And why are you covered in dirt?"

"Well if you must know, Brekker. Jesper and I have just come back from burying someone."

"Anyone important?" He asked idly with that dangerously rough voice of his that grated against her ears like salt to a wound, still looking towards his documents with a light frown until Yvaine stalled, making some noises that resembled a garbled question of confusion as she froze, mouth opening and closing to desperately find words to question what the fuck kind of follow up question that was? But in her hesitation, the Brekker boy had finally lifted his gaze to simply quirk a brow up at her, almost looking bored with the entire conversation.

"Don't make me repeat myself, pick-pocket."

"Lowell." She uttered after a moment, her trembling hands clenched into fists by her side as she glared down at the floor in an effort not to meet his eyes, tracing over the little imperfections engraved in the wood, hoping she'd find something there to distract her from the war raging in her mind like a dying ember, memories of the past, or pain and of broken bones flashing through her brain until she could practically hear her heart about to beat out of her chest. "His name was Lowell and he was one of Deverous's men."

"They've found you quicker than I thought they would. I'm almost impressed. "

The shadow summoner let out a laugh of disbelief at his words, looking up sharply with a frightening snarl twisting her features into something monstrous indeed as she stepped forward, glaring at Brekker like he was nothing more than shit on the end of her boot as rage swallowed her insides in its fiery comfort. "My freedom is not a fucking game, Brekker. Deverous and his little gang are obviously going to come for me anyway, so what's the point of me sticking around and just doing your bastard dirty work for you?"

"Watch your tone, pick-pocket. I don't take well to disrespect from my own." Brekker said quietly, and there was something about the way that he spoke that set her teeth on edge, hating it more than Deverous's quick temper that would make her insides freeze with terror...because every word, every sentence that left the Bastard of the Barrel's lips made the darkness around her flicker with something she couldn't place, the shadows of the room dancing over his face unnoticed as he leaned forward and stared her down to get his point across.

"And besides...as I was about to say, if they do come the dregs can help you, after all, twenty heads are better than one. Unless you want to face Deverous by yourself, then by all means, be my guest."

Yvaine's already tense jaw gave a sudden clench as a muscle in it jumped, showing off the sharp bone as she gave him a single, tense nod to show that she agreed with his terms even if she just wanted to leap across the table separating them to strangle the annoying bastard within an inch of his life. But she didn't, she wouldn't because at that moment in time, her fear outweighed her frustration...she wasn't going back to Deverous, she was not becoming his faceless shadow ever again.

Brekker matched her nod as he leaned back, gloved hand stretching over his cane as he shifted just slightly, obviously satisfied with putting her in her place. "Good girl...You'll be staying in the slat from now on. I'll have a room made for you tomorrow but for now go to Jesper, he's got some form of ointment for bruises, will probably calm the swelling."

"Didn't know you cared."

"Careful pick-pocket. I can just as easily sell you back to Deverous if the feeling strikes. Now run along, I've got work to do." And with that, he finally turned away from her, looking back over his documents and that same furrow appearing between his brow that had been there when she'd burst in, and there was some small, curious part of her that wondered just what he was reading to have that strange look...and wondering even more so why she even cared enough to give him the time of say.

But still, Yvaine felt herself hovering for a few moments in the quiet office listening to the scratching of his pen and knowing that she'd most definitely just been dismissed but having no real clue on what had just taken place...but after a minute of nothing but silence coming from her temporary boss she finally moved, slowly etching her way out of the door with the same almost comedic look of confusion plastered across her features as she made her way over to find Jesper, or at least where she hoped itwas.

And yet when she finally found his room, it was like the sharpshooter had been waiting for her, his door wide open and creaking just slightly with the light breeze from his open window, obviously not seeing her hovering just outside with her hand raised and ready to knock as he fiddled with something on his drawers that she couldn't see due to his turned back...but all it took was a slight clearing over her throat for him to spin around with a bright grin, eyes warm and welcoming as he beckoned her inside quickly.

"Ah, there she is! What's the verdict, gorgeous?"

"Apparently I'm going to be staying in the Slat from now on." She grumbled back at him, the whole situation feeling all sorts of surreal as she strolled in and sat herself down on the edge of his bed without a care, rubbing the heel of her palm against her jaw and feeling the gnarly skin of her scar with a tired grimace.

"Try not to sound too excited, someone might think you don't like us." Jesper said, quirking a brow in amusement as he wandered over towards her with the ointment in hand, grinning to himself in accomplishment as she giggled, leaning back against the mattress with a shake of her head. But, when she reached out to take the ointment from him with trembling fingers, he quickly pulled it out of her grasp with a tut as he stepped back and matched her sudden frown. "Ah, ah, ah...not a chance, love. Think of this like your own personal spar."

"You're an idiot."

"So I've been told, now hold still." Warm fingers began to brush under her eye gently, so soft and feather-light that if it wasn't for the sudden numbing effect that had begun to take place, Yvaine wouldn't of even realized he'd touched her at all as she leaned in to the healing caress, closing her eyes tightly so the sharpshooter wouldn't be able to see the tears that had stung her, hardly even remembering when someone had done this, had cared for her, had touched her without the intent to harm, to keep her complacent and quiet and nothing but simply darkness made flesh.

And as the silence stretched on, only interrupted occasionally by the creeks of the floorboards underneath their feet, Yvaine finally asked the question that had been heavy on her mind since the day had begun. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because Inej said that you were probably going to need something for that nasty bruise of yours and I-"

"No. Not this exactly...I mean everything. Why are you so kind to me? Why did you help me bury Lowell's body? And actually, yeah, why are you practically kissing my wounds like I'm some child?" She asked, her bottom lip wobbling in an attempt to keep the frustrated tears at bay as she pulled herself away from his soothing and pretty hands to look up at him dangerously, the shadows unseen by both flickering around the room in her grief, in her ever increasing pain that settled inside her hollowed bones and made its home there.

But the sharpshooter just grinned, tutting under his breath once more as he stepped even closer and cupped her chin so he could get a better look at her healing bruise, thumb swiping over her sharp cheekbone and begining to absentmindnessly hum a tune under his breath as he answered her simply, unaware of the chaos, the confusion and the desperate longing wreaking havoc in the strange girls mind as she sat there and blinked at him. "That's just what friends do, gorgeous."

"Oh." And for once, Yvaine simply didn't have anything to say to that.

Chapter Text

But now it seemed that she didn't have the need for such simple comforts anymore...such as silent nights not ruined with voices and groans that would echo through the thin walls from downstairs or the thumping of a cane above her as Brekker paced through his room like a starving monster with a need for blood shed, planning his next heist until the early hours of the morning and keeping her beady eyed and weary while her body trembled on high alert, practically able to feel his frustration as it bled through the floorboards and awaiting the moment he would storm down the stairs separating them to take it out upon her.

...And yet he never did, at least not yet anyway because the week was still young or whatever that expression was...but there was plenty of time for it to start happening and the moment it did, she'd find a way to disappear once more. She would not simply be reduced to another mans plaything again, his shadow, his killer or their 'love-sick' protector in return for the simplest acts of what she'd believed to be human decency. She wouldn't, she couldn't do it again, she'd rather die before she'd let another man make her his slave or attempt to make her his whore.

However, between her cautious regard for her new boss and her rather uncomfortable living arrangements, there was one small mercy she'd found in the dreary atmosphere, and that was Jesper, because somehow becoming his friend was simpler than breathing.

Which of course, lead her to where she was in that exact moment, cradling some form of buttery drink that absolutely tasted foul upon her tongue and sent an ache down her throat but made her giddy and kept her cheek flushed as they sat in the corner of the Crow Club, giggling amongst each other like children as he taught her how to play a card game, or, better yet how to cheat in the card game which they'd long since stopped paying attention to the moment he'd managed to snag their drinks, losing themselves in the company of each other and ignoring everyone around them, perfectly content in their own little bubble of mischief that grew louder by the second.

"So, wait a moment love, you're saying that you've just lived on the streets? Since what- since you could walk?"

His voice was barely louder than a whisper as he rested his elbows against the slightly sticky table, the warm glow of the club bathing him in a hue of orange light that made him look somehow far prettier than usual as the warm flames of the candle danced over his festures with whispered shadows, white teeth peeking out from his perfect smile and for a moment, she was almost jealous of how effortlessly beautiful he managed to be.

"Hey it wasn't that bad, I didn't have a bedtime...and I didn't have to eat my veggies." Yvaine winked as he snorted, rubbing his palm down his boiling hot cheeks in an effort to conceal his laughter at her words with a fond shake of his head, and the shadow summoner waited until he'd lifted his glass back up to his lips for a drink to continue, her dark eyes glistening with some form of mischief that made her shallow depths seem to glow. "Though the first time I got my period I thought I was dying."

Jesper laughed a startled laugh into his drink, spilling it over the table as it trickled from his mouth in an abrupt spray that sprinkled over her skin as the two leaned towards each other, shoulders brushing together with their heads bent low and giggling loudly in the rowdy bar with their cheeks flushed and eyes unfocused...before being cruelly interrupted as cane was suddenly slammed down onto their table with a hammering bang! Causing them both to jump, the sharpshooter almost falling out of his chair while Yvaine was half a second away from a heart attack as she blinked at the dark cane in shock.

"Jesper...Shouldn't you be on the doors?" Brekker's rough voice washed over her like a bucket of ice cold water, her spine going ridged where it lay under her prison of flesh as she sat just a bit straighter, glaring down at the floor in an effort not to look up at him, eyes flickering over the various stains that had come with the night and then over to the bastard of the Barrel's black shoes, somewhat suprised to see that there was no blood on them considering she was pretty sure he tortured people in his spare time, he most definitely had the looks for it anyway.

"Traded shifts with Rotty, boss, just helping our lovely Yvaine get used to everything."

"Don't bring me into this." She muttered into her drink as she lifted it to her lips, ignoring the betrayed look he shot her in return as she went to take a sip from the vile drink that was somehow tasting better and better with every second that passed them by, only to be interrupted once more when Brekker suddenly moved and pressed the bottom of his cane against the glass to force it back down onto the table in front of her with a dark glimmer in his eyes, leaning forward towards her like a looming shadow with a slow shake of his head.

"I think you've had enough, pick-pocket. Upstairs...both of you." He snapped, lifting his cane and passing it over into his other hand, the black gloves catching the glare of the overhead light before he turned around and left the two staring off after him in indignation, Yvaine finding herself unable to tear her gaze away with a barely noticeable tremor in her fingers as he limped up the stairs, and it was like the moment he disappeared from view, the room suddenly began to gain back the lively energy that she hadn't even noticed left in the first place.

"Are we about to get punished or something?"

"Why on earth would you think that, love? Nah, think the boss has something different in mind." Jesper chuckled as if he knew something she didn't, finally standing up on slightly unsteady legs to tug his tan coat back over his ridiculously lanky body, long fingers dancing over his hips where he checked his revolvers still lay, and then offering his hand down to Yvaine who took it, allowing him to gently haul her up and then use her as an armrest as he wrapped said limb around her shoulders to begin leading her away, casting a mournful look over towards the gambling tables as he did so.

"Like what?"

"Well I do believe it's time for a heist."
_________________________________________________

As it turns out, her favourite sharpshooter had been right...which she felt like was a rare occurrence indeed, because the moment the two had stepped a foot in Brekker's office with Inej already there leaning against the window and sending the shadow summoner a soft smile as she stumbled in, he was telling them of his latest schemes and the roles they would inevitably play in his plot to steal some kind of extremely valuable tiara from a merchant called Vernon...though he hadn't found it amusing in the slightest when Yvaine made a joke that she had a dress he could borrow that could match the blue jewels perfectly.

In fact, he looked like he was ready to cave her skull in with that cane of his, but in truth, that seemed to be his usual look when it came to the pick pocket, so she wasn't half as scared as she probably should of been.

But thankfully, the plan was relatively simple, or at least simple enough for her slightly tipsy mind to understand...and compared to his usual chaotic schemes, it almost seemed dull in comparison. Because while she'd be dressing up as a servant, Inej would be watching like a silent saint from her place along a rooftop as some kind of look out, while finally, Jesper and Brekker would be dressed as rich merchants sons that would be snuck in by her when she's steal the keys so they, in turn, could steal the tiara that was apparantly worth alot of kruge...so as she'd said, relatively easy.

And later on during the night when the plan had begun to take place, she found out that the targets mansion was stunningly beautiful, so much so that it had almost taken her breath away when she'd stepped inside with a small smile curling at her lips. The walls freshly painted in colours of champagne and gold with the chandelier lights casting a warm glow from the sun dipping over the horizon, and there was just something about the whole decor of the place, the energy that felt almost ethereal even if it was absolutely freezing.

But it felt like the moment she'd stepped foot on the white marble floors underneath her, she'd damned the whole place with her cursed presence as the darkness in the room grew stronger for a moment, feeling her rotting presence like maggots to a corpse which she desperately ignored.

However, while she found the mansion in itself to be pretty, the clothing choice of the evening she felt looked totally abysmal in comparison, with the dress she wore looking like some sort of skinned bear which definitely should of felt alot warmer, like many of the other girls wore in an effort not to dull the voluptuous and rich merchants wives that turned their noses up at everything and anything while their husband were dressed in some of the most hideous suits she'd ever seen that made her have a new appreciation for Brekker's black ones...though he didn't have such comforts now considering he'd been forced to wear the same thing as all the others, and she almost felt sorry for the poor bastard.

But all in all, she had actually thought that she had played her part as the dutiful servant quite well, because after sneaking Jesper and the current bane of her existence inside while Inej kept her place hidden on the roof, Yvaine been forced into work, carrying around little trays full of glasses of some expensive smelling wine that yes, she may of took a sip of, or two...or three. And between making sure that she didn't drop anything as she made her way around the large room and keeping her tongue and shadows in check at the rather patronising and rude merchants around her, she felt like she deserved some form of constellation prize.

Of course, that being said, she really didn't know how long she could keep this up, and she was starting to get more and more stressed out by the moment. And the shadow summoner knew from experience that the more stressed she happened to get, the more loose her morals and her control became...however, she thankfully didn't have to worry for much longer as she finally saw Jesper moving through the crowd with Brekker limping behind him with a face like thunder, his lips pulled in a thin line and eyes dangerous.

"What's with his face?" She whispered with a frown when she met them in the middle, placing the tray down on the table as quietly as she could when she noticed the nervous look on the Zemeni boys usually charming face as he pulled to a stop in front of her, his hand reaching forward to pull her closer as he bent his head low, his lips brushing over the shell of her ear to make sure that he couldn't be heard as he shot a suspicious look towards a waiter walking past them.

"It was gone, the tiara wasn't there, love."

"What do you mean it wasn't there? I thought you said that you knew where it was?" Of course she hadn't actually been told where it was or what room they were going to be stealing it from, hell, it was a miracle she even knew what they were taking, but in truth she had become used to not knowing the good majority of his plans due to the dark-haired boy keeping his cards close to his chest, but that didn't stop her question as Yvaine turned her head over towards Brekker, but of course, he didn't do her the courtesy of gracing her with his answer as his upper lip curled into a snarl.

"We don't know, we got in and it was gone! Like it had disappeared or something."

Yvaine paused for a second, her eyes flickering back over to Brekker as soon as Jesper had finished his rough explanation of few words, watching the way his sharp jaw jumped in frustration, the pale skin pulled taunt over the sinful bone that it looked ready to snap with his eyes dark and dangerous, his hand clenching over his cane to the point she could literally hear the leather of his glove squeaking through the voices echoing through the ballroom, the beak of the crow-head half a second away from cutting into the skin of his palm if he clutched it any tighter.

Anger was a good look on him she decided with an unfortunate heat blossoming at the back of her neck and tips of her ears, and yet it was such a shame that that handsome face belonged to such a massive asshole.

"It can't just be gone, Jesper. We were the only ones who knew where it was." He hissed through gritted teeth as if the two hadn't already had this argument on their way to Yvaine, looking around the room sharply as if someone had heard him...but the merchants were far too busy talking amongst themselves in their loud and fake voices, talking about their incredible wealth in an effort to show off in a game called who'd dick is bigger than who's that had her trying and failing to fight the effort to yawn, rolling her eyes as she glanced over the room almost with idle boredom that had Kaz wanting to slap her with his cane.

"Well someone must of been a very good guesser because it wasn't there or were you seeing something that I didn't?"

She could hear the two arguing behind her, squabbling like a pair of children over their own blame and greed and if it were anyone else she'd probably make the very stupid decision to call them idiots and tell them that the longer they lingered here the longer they'd start looking suspicious...but as she'd recently found out through sleeping just under his own room and hearing his muttering and pacing with rifling papers was that the Bastard of the Barrel was very particular about these sorts of things, his little heists, everything had to go his exact way, he'd make plan upon plan that was scrutinised down to the last detail and if something went wrong he usually had another one planned just behind it.

It was impressive just as much as it was annoying because the last thing she actually wanted to do was admire him, the person blackmailing her with her own freedom, which really should of been a right and not something to be goaded about, something to be held over her head like a threat.

But because it was Brekker, and because it was her freedom on the line, Yvaine found her eyes flickering around the room slowly, glancing from face to face with practiced nonchalance, the shadows beginning to dance through the crevices of the walls as she looked at the big dresses, the fancy shoes and hair pieces of the women and then the crisp and clean suit pieces that every man seemed to be wearing that looked like they were worth more than whatever she'd be able to afford...before her gaze stopped on someone in the distance, and whatever she seen caused a small smirk to curl over her painted lips.

"It's the son."

Jesper's baffled face snapped towards her so fast that she was afraid he was going to get whiplash as the two crows ceased their argument at her confident accusation, his mouth hanging open in confusion while Brekker looked her up and down with calculated scrutiny before switching his gaze to search through the crowd of people to look for the son, his right brow lightly quirked with his ever present look of superiority as she doubled down on her observation. "Vernon's son. He's the one that took it."

"Why would he-"

"Look at him. Look at what he's wearing." Yvaine said, rolling her eyes in exasperation at his obvious blindness to the things around him, rubbing the heel of her palm over the make-up covered scar on her jaw with a huff of breath leaving her lips. Observation was something that came easy to her, it came easy to most pick pockets she assumed, because it could be the difference between having your hands full and having them empty...for example some men liked to dress rich while being poor, and some liked to dress poor while being rich, and it took a certain kind of eye to be able to tell the difference, and when it could very well be your life hanging in the balance, you learned quick or you died quicker.

"He's wearing the same thing as every man here! Including us, by the way."

"No, no he's not. All of theirs are new, recently bought, expensive probably to flash off their wealth but his? His is older, it's got frayed edges at the sleeve, the colour is duller and it looks about two sizes two big for him, probably because it's about two years old and because he doesn't have enough money to buy a new one...and obviously because he's been spending his inheritance on his substance abuse." She said, leaning closer with a manic look in her dark eyes that closely resembled Kaz when he was holding onto a lead with everything he had, and Jesper had to fight off the sudden to shiver in horror as he scoffed in disbelief

"Oh come on, you're making this up now."

And yet it seemed that Brekker was actually thinking about it as he kept his gaze firmly on the merchants son, knowing an addict when he saw one, glancing down at the dirty nails, the tremors in his too thin fingers, and the way his body seemed to roll with occasional shivers...and it was Yvaine's groan that brought his attention back over to her as he stared at her with new eyes. "He's sweating Jes, why would he be sweating? Even you said that this place is freezing! It could be because of the fact he's got a hefty tiara in his pocket but no, he's definitely done this before or he wouldn't be sticking around, he knew exactly where to go and exactly how to take it."

"He's not sweating because he's nervous, he's sweating because he's going through withdrawals." She finally finished her assessment of the boy probably just a few years older then they were, and when Jesper grimaced at her with that look of disbelief still on his face, she found herself ready to explode with frustration. "Look, I may not be good at...well alot of thing really, no point in making a list...but what I am good at is observing people and knowing when they have something valuable for me to take. Pick-pocket, remember?"

"And if you're wrong about this?" Brekker finally broke his ominous silence, the familar rough drawl heavy on her ears as he glanced down at her idly only to see her already smirking up at him with a spark of chaos that looked almost sinful.

"If I'm wrong about this, I'll eat your hat."

He held her gaze for a few moments, each second that passed them by feeling like a lifetime as they both tried to search the others eyes as the world around them faded into nothing more than background noises and blurs of colour...but searching for what however? Neither actually knew, before he finally moved to the side, cane tapping against smooth marble and then gestured her forward with a tip of his head and twitch of his thin lips. "Let's hope you're not then, I'm quite fond of that hat pick-pocket."

Yvaine snorted as she walked past him without so much as a backward glance, eyes already on the prize as she moved through the masses with her head bent low to her chest, already slipping into her part of a meek servant girl as she slipped through their bodies, almost choking on their strong perfumes and aftershaves that rushed to her senses like a punch to the stomach, making her feel somewhat dizzy as she scrunched her nose up in displeasure.

Honestly, she had no idea how people did this, any of this really. The too-tight corsets that ripped the breath from your lungs all in the name of beauty, of vanity, in their efforts to look the best of the best but just looking shallow and worn out, a shambled image of wealth that made the poor salivate at the mouth. The experience suits that always seemed so perfectly fitted, bought with the bloodied labour of underpaid Barell rats that no one cared for, no one spared a second look at until it was too late and they were robbed blind or worse.

And of course, the extravagant parties that they used to show off, unknowingly leaving their valuables ripe for the taking from greedy hands like her own as she moved in behind Vernon's son, twisting her hand to feel the shadows reach back towards her like dogs called to their master before they sunk into his pocket...where the sight of the tiara greeted her far too quickly for anyone else to notice before it slipped into her hand and the shadows seeped back into their crevices.

She shot Brekker a triumphant smirk from over her shoulder, pushing the crown into her dress but making sure that for just a moment it caught the glare of the chandelier up above her, the sparkle of the embedded jewels glistening for half a second which was just enough time for him to see it...and he didn't quite smile, no, she wasn't actually sure his face knew how to do that, but his lips give a sudden twitch and the constant dip in his brow eased, and Yvaine thought that he looked almost ten years younger without that calculated severity.

But before she could move towards the two and make their escape, a hand appeared out of seemingly nowhere and latched tight around her wrist and yanked her back, sharp nails digging into her skin than made her hiss, turning her head with a dark sheen flashing through her gaze that most would take as a warning, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Jesper suddenly lurch forward as if to rush towards her, his hand hovering over his hips where she knew he'd hidden his revolvers but before he could get to her, a cane was suddenly blocking his way and ensuring that he didn't take a step further.

And obviously on the end of the cane was Brekker as he quickly snapped something at the sharpshooter, shaking his head with a scowl...but when he glanced over to her once more, she could see the scheming look on his face as he meet her eyes, only for Yvaine to give him a short nod, trying to tell him that she could handle it, that she could handle anything, before she turned her head to the side to find Vernon's son staring at her, sweat gathered at the top of his lip and dripping down his chin like drool as he licked at his own mouth like a starving animal.

"Get me a drink sweetheart, and make it quick I've got places to be." He said patronisingly down at her, glancing over his shoulder with a kind of nervous and restless energy pouring out of him at the seams as he grimaced, showing a flash of his decaying teeth that only proved her point to be even more true as she narrowed her eyes, feeling the shadows hidden in the deep corners of the room as they began to flicker, feeling her rising frustration and reacting in kind...but instead of wreaking destruction at the absolute disrespect like she desperately wanted to, she instead chose to smile sweetly.

"Of course, Sir. That's what I'm here for." Her voice was high-pitched and fake, grating against her own ears like nails scraping across chalk but he obviously didn't seem to care if that leechy smile that twisted his already grotesque features were any indication, and yet the moment she turned away, turned her back and took a single step towards the direction where the boys had been, she heard a whoosh of air before she felt the slap, sharp and rough on her backside which caused her to freeze, jaw clenching tightly as she took a shaky breath and began to walk with a certain tension in her bones, hearing his laughter behind her threatening to swallow her whole.

She tried to keep her anger in check, tried to keep that blossoming rage that churned under her skin like a vengeful promise calm and sated, eyes drifting through the crowd to find Brekker's once more just to find him already looking at her as she danced through the merchants and their wives and servants, the reassuring scratch of the tiara heavy against her hip as it dug into her skin until she was finally standing in front of him with her hands clenched into tight fists in an effort to stop their trembling, breath hitched and eyes almost wild.

"Where's Jesper?"

"Outside, he was starting to look rather trigger-happy and this job called for a more...subtle approach." He said slowly, before he gestured his head down towards the skirt of her dress where she quickly caught onto the hint, reaching into the brown mess to pull the tiara out for half a second, and then slipping it back inside the moment she knew he'd seen it with his own eyes, her gaze flitting around the room with a certain anxiety begining to blossom inside her at the way the room had darkened just slightly, just enough for her to notice.

"I don't think he has a subtle bone in his body." Yvaine whispered tightly, a slight tremor in her voice that made it shake as she tried to keep control but finding it harder and harder as the pressure mounted inside her like a bomb waiting to blow, memories flashing to callous hand that hurt, that wounded and scarred for no other reason except that they could and because she allowed it, allowed herself to be nothing and feeling like that young girl all over again as she struggled to breathe, unaware of the way Brekker seemed to be watching her closely.

Looking at the way she held herself, drawn in like she was cowering away from something monstrous with her eyes that were so dark that even he struggled to find where her pupil ended and iris began as they constantly moved, shifting around like a skittish bird. And after a minute of just watching her, he finally tore his gaze away and clenched his hand over his cane, glancing towards the exist with a slight nod of his head, already limping towards it. "Come along pick-pocket, I have other things I need to do tonight."

"As long as you don't call on me to do any of them, I couldn't care less." The shadow summoner muttered, following behind him like a stray dog as he moved through the crowds, unable to help the small hint of admiration that simmered in her gut at the way he commanded a certain presence in a room, so much so to the point people were seemingly creating a path for him without even realising it, and she had to fight off the small, almost amused curl of her lips as she stared at his ridged back that constantly seemed tense as they finally made their escape.

And the moment her feet touched the gravel outside, feeling the air wrap around her body like a calm embrace and cooling that boiling rage that had flushed her cheeks and made her shadows flicker with hatred, she was suddenly lifted up from the ground with a shocked squeal and spun around in a circle, her hands grappling for purchase of broad shoulders and only calming when she heard Jesper's laughter. "You were incredible in there, love! I never doubted you for a moment!"

"Right, of course you didn't." Yvaine giggled, feeling all sorts or dizzy as he dropped her back onto her feet, shaking her head in an effort to stop the metathorial birds swirling around it, fingers instantly skimming down her side to make sure the tiara was still there only to startle when she touched only air, eyes going wide as she quickly glanced around herself, just to spot Brekker with it in his hands, looking over it with a hum and she barely even had time to wonder when he'd managed to take it from her without her knowing before her attention was grabbed by the sharpshooter once more.

"Come on, you've got to teach me that little trick, that could come quite handy on the tables you know?" He grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and tapping his index finger against her nose causing it to scrunch unconsciously as she quickly shoved him away with a scoff slipping through her throat, not really wanting to start laughing in his face but rather close to it at the mere suggestion observation was something that could be taught.

"Well that's definitely not happening."

"Why not?" Jesper whined loudly, looking half a second away from actually pouting at her as Yvaine laughed, opening her mouth to answer only to feel a sudden shiver at it crept up her spine and made its home there, the shadows whispering around her like startled pets and when she happened to glance up towards the roof, she easily found their cause for alarm as a familar figure danced across the rooftops, almost blended into the darkness around them and found herself smiling slightly, lifting her hand in a quick wave before moving back to the conversation at hand.

"Because you'd only end up using it for evil. And I can't force that onto the poor souls of Ketterdam, in good conscience of course."

She smiled at him over her shoulder, watching the way he gasped at her in dramatic annoyance with his hand splayed across his chest as if absolutely wounded by her words, but the illusion was quickly shattered when he grinned and shoved his shoulders nonchalantly. "Well then, the least you could do is buy me a drink then."

"Honestly Jesper darling, I'll be going straight to bed the moment we reach the Slat tonight...but for now I'm just glad it's over." Yvaine yawned, scratching her nose with her index finger and was so focused on fighting the familar urge of finding the nearest dry patch to fall asleep, she managed to miss the way Jesper almost fell over his own two feet at the nonchalant term of endearment that had slipped from her lips, a cheeky grin crossing over his features soon after as he saddled back up beside her, opening his mouth to do what he did best and flirt only to be interrupted relatively quickly.

"Not quite."

They both turned their heads at the familar rough drawl to see the Brekker boy looking down at the tiara held gently between his gloved grip as he limped beside them, the bright blue of the diamonds shining in the pale moonlight that was nothing short of enchanting...but even Yvaine could see the greedy sheen that had settled in those dark eyes of bleak coal, before he raised his head to meet the shadow summoner gaze with a slight quirk to his brow that had something unpleasant stirring in her stomach as his lips twitched.

"This is part of a matching set, after all."

Chapter Text

"Been asking myself to same question since I moved in." Yvaine muttered as the two shared a grin, before she glanced down at the watch on her wrist, engraved with some husbands eternal love declaration for his wife that her thieving hands had been quick to steal, and tutting under her breath at the time that greeted her, knowing she was going to be late for her afternoon tea with Mrs. Vallel waiting for Jesper to finish losing...before an idea popped into her head and she slowly turned to look at Inej with a hopeful smile. "So, are you on a job for Brekker tonight?"

"Not that I know of, why?"

"Fancy coming with me to grab some tea? My innkeeper managed to rope me into visiting her every other afternoon, and apparently bribing me with tea was the way to do it." The shadow summoner rolled her eyes fondly, already reaching behind her to grab the cloak she'd hung over the back of her chair and began fastening it around her neck, dark eyes quickly flickering around the room to make sure that Jesper was alright, just in time to see him cheer, reaching over to bring a small pile of kruge towards him.

"I don't want to impose-"

Inej shifted around, her expression uneasy, but Yvaine cut off whatever she was about to say by gently placing her hand right next to her own, not quite touching but close enough that the two could feel the warmth the other radiated as she ducked her head down to meet her startled gaze and smiling such a honest smile that it took the wraith a moment or two to catch her breath. "You wouldn't be. I want you to come, Inej. Plus Mrs. Vallel does this absolutely gorgeous blend, it's got a little bit of spice to it, little bit of sweetness and some herbs that somehow tie it together, I think she said it's called cho'fa or something-"

And almost as soon as those had left her lips, Inej was suddenly gripping her hand with a rather uncharacteristic intensity, the warm glow of the crow club dancing across her features and painting her a very pretty picture indeed as she stared at Yvaine hopefully. "Did you mean cha'afa?"

"Yeah! Yeah that's it, do you know it?"

"It's suli tea...my mother used to make it before I'd go to sleep every night, she used to say it would keep away bad dreams." The wraith smiled wistfully, a far away look in her dark eyes of blackened coal as she leaned back against her chair, still holding onto Yvaine's hands who felt something warm blossom at the bottom of her stomach, because she wanted to keep that look on that girls face for the end of time, wanted to keep that smile curling at her lips because if anyone deserved to be happy, she was pretty sure it was her.

She didn't know the full details of her life before she'd joined the dregs, no, she knew that that was a story only Inej could tell her in her own time, perhaps even never if she chose to, but she'd heard snippets from Jesper's drunken ramblings about something called the menagerie where his face would shift with something dark, and she'd observed the way the suli girl flinched at the sight of a violent man trying to wreak havoc in the Crow Club before Brekker would send the dregs to shove them out...and she could fill in the blanks just enough.

"Please come with me, we could even go to that place down towards the docks that have those delicious scones you seem to like." Yvaine wiggled her brows stupidly, not opposed to a little bribery to have some fun and was rewarded by Inej's smile as she laughed quietly, shaking her head in expastered amusement before she nodded her head in the same breath with some hidden excitement shining in her dark depths, slipping Sankt Petyr back into its hold to grin up at the shadow summoner kindly.

"I'd like that. I'd really like that." This was looking up to be a fun night after all.
________________________________________________

Yvaine hated heists...well, no, that wasn't exactly true, not even a little actually, because she usually quite liked heists. She liked the adrenaline rush, she liked dressing up and playing pretend, she liked getting her greedy little hands dirty as they stole and thieved with fingers stained with shadows, and she liked the games she'd play with Jesper when they'd both eventually grow bored of keeping watch on the rare occasions they'd been ordered to do so...even if they were in two different sides of whatever building they were at, they managed to find a way all the while Inej would shake her head in dry amusement.

So, it wasn't that she didn't like heists as a whole...it's just that Yvaine really didn't like heists when her literal partner in crime was Brekker.

And that was because that even on the best of days his plans were rather chaotic that could change on a moments whim, involving characters and roles and all sorts of things that she usually wouldn't have the time for, but it seemed that whenever the two, as rarely as it was, came to work together he only decided to make it even more so. As if he was wondering just how long until it would take before she broke or snapped and just threw herself out of the nearest window...not that she had thought about it or anything like that.

The plan had originally been quite simple, Inej acting as their silent saint from above and watching out for the guards swarming the place like maggots to a corpse, Jesper impersonating a waiter and finding out just where they'd stored the matching necklace to the tiara they'd stolen a week ago, and finally, Yvaine and Kaz doing the actual stealing, because for some odd reason he'd decided that two hands were better than one. But, the problem was that their sharpshooter had managed to catch onto a rumour, a rumour in which that not only did Vernon have the necklace...but the earrings too, the whole set if you will.

So, that lead her to where she was now, trailing after Brekker like a lost little duckling, searching for the rooms where their treasures would lay and fighting the urge to either throw him down the stairs or herself...but thankfully, in rather strangely easy turn of events, they found the room with remarkable ease...especially considering it was literally right next to the stairs that had something inside of Yvaine squirming with unease.

"I don't like this plan." She muttered quietly, but of course, he only just ignored her, ignored everything really as he instantly got down to his knees the moment they stepped foot in the room and began working on the expensive looking safe.

She could feel the darkness ebbing in the room, threatening to suffocate her as she stood and stared at Brekker who apparently just couldn't help himself as he began working on the lock, fishing through it with a efficiency she would almost be jealous of if she hadn't of been so worried that everything had almost seemed too easy, the necklace matching the tiara just in the next room, and then the earrings right here seemingly waiting for them? There was something not quite right about any of it...but it seemed that Dirtyhands greed made him blind.

"Brekker, I know this might be hard for you to understand, but you should learn to quit while you're ahead. This isn't right."

"If you're so worried pick-pocket, why don't you finally be of use to me and go keep watch?" He didn't even spare her a glance as he spat his usual venom over his shoulder, gloved fingers moving faster than she could make out as she glared at the back of his head, hands clenched into tight fists by her side and desperately fighting off the urge to match over to the little bastard and start strangling him with all the strength her weak arms would allow her before she'd inevitably be knocked out by that cane of his that was constantly apart of his assemble of dark clothes.

But she didn't, no matter how much she wanted to as she took a shaky breath and forced herself to advert her eyes lest she want to give in to her dangerous urges, her gaze flickering all around the room as her mind raced, trying to find the cause of her anxiety, trying to find something, anything that could make her tell the Brekker boy that she told him so just to watch that frustrated dip in his brow form as his lips thinned...an expression that was quickly becoming her favourite every time she'd successfully get on his nerves and break that emotionless facade he seemed to hold so dear.

And what annoyed her so was the fact that he was usually...quite possibly, one of the smartest people she'd ever met, even though the very thought of such a compliment sent her stomach into turmoil as her mouth filled with bile, and set it seemed that when kruge was involved he lost whatever semblance of a brain cell he had, trusting himself to be the most important man in the room while simultaneously forgetting that almost anyone could be out-smarted by someone better than them.

Not that Vernon was smarter than Brekker, even she could see that...but spite and vengeance were powerful motivators, and could make even the dumbest man alive capable of an actual thought.

Personally, Yvaine didn't want to stick around and find out, but just as she was about to risk it all and start dragging him out by the scruff of his collar, she heard a click echo through the silence as he finally managed to pick the lock, causing her to huff in exasperation, wandering back over towards him to peer in the clear safe where the rather pretty earrings lay with narrowed eyes and a pout upon her lips. "So, how much are these worth?"

"Alot." He said curtly, doing a marvelous job at ignoring her as she instantly shot a glare towards the side of his head, quickly leaning back up and crossing her arms in an effort to cool her temper, her mouth opening to reply nothing polite...only to be interrupted as the door swung open, her heart leaping to her throat as she swung around with her fists raised and lunged forward...just to miss her mark by a mere centimeter as she recognised a shocked Jesper at the last moment and changed her course, the two managing to dodge the other by mere chance as they ducked.

"What the hell was that for!"

"Well I don't really like your face- obviously it's because I didn't know it was you!" Yvaine hissed, throwing her arms up in indignation as the sharpshooter gaped at her dramatically, his hand splayed over his racing heart with his flashy rings flashing in the sun light pouring out through the gap of the curtains and shining in her dark eyes distractingly, forcing her to squint and physically move away from him lest she be blinded by them, her face twisted in an agitated frown as her stress levels continued to rise and rise and rise.

But just as Jesper began to speak, the first syllable of his sentence died upon his tongue as Brekker stood with a grunt, gloved hand clenched tightly over his cane as he hobbled towards them and glared down at them. "Enough." He said dangerously, a dark glint passing over his eyes as he looked upon Yvaine who matched his look perfectly, before his gaze drifted over towards the Zemeni boy who felt like he was definitely interrupting something as he watched them with suspicion. "Why are you here?"

"You two have been gone a while, Inej and I were starting to get worried."

"Worried we'd killed each other?" The shadow summoner questioned with a quirked brow, looking very bored indeed as she leaned her shoulder against the beige wall behind her in an expression of nonchalance, trying desperately to ignore the ever squirming shadows as they clawed at her feet, each swipe of their dark claws seeping into her veins like the ever-consuming burn of hellfire, getting more and more painful with every passing second that she resisted the urge to let them run free like terrifying pets of darkness and strife.

"A little love, you both don't have the best temper." Jesper said, pulling an apologetic face as he shrugged, sending an anxious look over towards Brekker who'd already given up on the conversation it seemed, limping back off towards the safe with one last sharp glare over his shoulder towards Yvaine who barely swallowed the cursed words she wanted to spit over fo him, her trembling hands clenched into tight fists by her side as she took a deep break and smiled a rather feral smile indeed.

"Trust me, it's been touch and go for a while. He's found the matching earrings." She said, pointing a thumb over her shoulder towards where he was currently getting to his knees, well, knee, his other spread out to the side in an effort to take the weight from it, and if Yvaine was a nicer person, she would of offered to grab it for him...but she wasn't, and it seemed that Dirtyhands didn't need anyone but himself in truth, a trait they both shared though she was most reluctant to admit it.

However, Jesper didn't look so assured as he glanced over towards the door he'd burst through, pretty brows furrowed into a light frown as his fingers drummed against the revolvers by his hips, looking more and more frantic by the second as he pulled a face at the both of them. "Well can we all hurry it up? More and more guards are coming in, I think something is about to go down."

"Oh, that doesn't bode well for us."

Brekker seemed intent on ignoring the look she shot towards him, his gloved fingers far too busy plucking the earrings from the plumped pillow of ivory gold, holding them in the palm of his leather hand with an almost smug twitch of his lips...and then alarm bells started blaring through the building which quickly made that expression drop, the sound rattling the bones that lay beneath her skin as she clamped her hands over her ears with a pained grimace, only idly aware of the sharpshooter doing the same as they cringed at the abrupt noise.

I told you so, was on the tip of her tongue, heavy and spiteful as her shadows flickered in the dark corners of the room, feeling her dreadful anxiety as it mounted inside of her, threatening to drown out every rational thought as Brekker stood up and turned to Jesper with his cane clutched into a tight grip, his face set in his usual scowl but even she could see the anxiety he desperately tried to hide in his blue depths. "Get Inej and meet us at the revenue point in ten minutes, if we aren't there then head towards the Slat."

"Boss-"

"Now Jesper." His tone left no room for argument, a dangerously dark glint passing over his gaze that had Yvaine taking a single step back towards the comfort and the grief of her ever winding shadows, waiting for a moment that he'd snap and swing for the boy just like Deverous would of, and if he did, she'd kill him, she'd kill him dead...but no such thing happened, instead, Jesper sent one last reassuring look towards her and then quickly wandered out through the door, ring-clad hand never straying too far from his revolvers as he disappeared out of view and left them alone.

"So...what's the plan here, dirtyhands?"

"I don't leave a job unfinished, pick-pocket. We're getting the necklace." Brekker told her, leaning down towards her but always leaving enough space so that their breath didn't do as much as brush paths, before he was turning around and limping away like a man possessed, moving towards the joined door where he was so sure the necklace lay, leaving Yvaine standing there with the lights around her flickering as the darkness that controlled and bowed to her began to blister underneath her skin like an ominous omen of death.

"I was afraid you'd say that." She sighed quietly, digging her tongue into the side of her cheek and then quickly following after him, feet dragging behind her to show her reluctance as she muttered and cursed underneath her breath.

The room, quite like the other one in which the earrings had been stored was rather fancy looking, beige walls with sapphire coloured accessories, long drapes blocking the sunlight that would dance over the gems and paint the walls in hues of stunning blue, pumped up cushions that looked both silky and cashmere at the same time, a velvet rug that a childish part of her wanted to take her shoes of to feel the material against her feet and of course, the bell of the ball, the necklace in a large glass box, just resting rather high up atop of a pillar.

But there wasn't alot of time for her to look around in some appreciation, they both knew it, and it was almost like the two had some form of non-verbal conversation through their eyes alone as he rushed towards the door to keep watch while Yvaine would do what she did best, stain her fingers with darkness and take the world for what it would give her, keeping her gaze firmly on his back and awaiting even a sign that he was going to turn around and look towards her as the shadows bent to her whim, curling over the necklace under the glass box and then slithering down the wall into her readily awaited hands.

"I've got it, now let's go." Yvaine snapped, stuffing the necklace into her pocket with a grunt of effort and deciding to ignore the strange look Dirtyhands gave her as her swiftness, because even if he did have time to start asking questions about how she'd managed to steal things with such efficiency, without even touching it, it's not like she'd tell him the truth anyway.

She quite liked her freedom, as tightly leashed as it was, and she had no doubt that if a shadow summoner was rumoured in Ketterdam, not only would Deverous catch her, but every slaver, assassin and bounty hunter would be after her.

However, as the two were about to finally make their escape it seemed that they ran into a small problem...that problem being the guards that suddenly burst through the door where they had come out from, making them spin around with wide eyes and open mouths, for a moment, frozen in time as it passed them by slowly, only for it to snap back into place as Brekker's rough and gravelly voice danced around her ears like an ominous lullaby. "Move, move."

She hit the ground running, the floor practically disappearing under her feet as she rushed after his retreating figure, fingers blooming with shadow as she twisted her hands and forced the pillar that had withheld the mantle to fall and block their pursuers, her plump lips lifting into a smirk as she skidded down the hall, hearing the gunshots as they danced around her, shooting through the air and getting as close as to skim the skin of her arm until she threw herself around the corner, rolling on her shoulder and then pulling herself up just as quick, her whole body trembling with adrenaline.

Her eyes managing to catch the back of Brekker's coat as he limped down the stairs, looking behind to see Yvaine still at the top of them and scowling at her, lips pulling taunt to mouth something she didn't care to make out as she smirked, took a leap and collided with the banister, sliding down it with a chaotic giggle and then crashing down onto the marble floor with her breath stolen from her lungs, all the while the bastard of the Barrel blinked down at her with a face full of dangerous intent, hardly giving her a moment to gain her bearings before he was limping off towards the exit, shoving the door open and rushing out of it with the shadow summoner hot on his tail.

Something she greatly regretted when bullets came flying towards them, an ambush that forced the two to dive out of the way behind a rather expensive looking carriage, covering their heads as absolute hell was rained down upon their wretched souls, grunts and curses slipping through their lips as the bullets got closer and closer to hitting them. She tried to swallow her fear mounting inside of her, tried to settle the shadows that winded around her veins with promises of destruction, tried to calm the ever growing rage that blossomed inside her like whispered tides as she awaited Brekker's orders.

But there was so many men, and there was a terror that settled in her stomach on just what they'd do to them, to her if they caught her, and so, with one last glare towards Dirtyhands, Yvaine closed her eyes tightly, counting her breath, her heartbeat heavy in her ears as it drummed against her chest, each beat getting louder, getting stronger as she felt the call of the shadows...she made her decision.

And Kaz kneeling just beside her, his mind racing a mile per minute and trying desperately to figure a way out of this through his ever shifting schemes that came to him easier than breathing, he, by chance, lifted his gaze to glance over at Yvaine, ready to order her to run, to hide, to do something while he thought of a plan...only to feel his insides freeze over as if hell itself had touched him...because what was staring over his shoulder at the quickly approaching men storming out through the archway looked nothing like the girl he'd black-mailed in the dingy alleyway.

The hungry girl, the pick-pocket, the thorn in his side that he'd made a deal with was no where to be found anymore, the determined expression on her face, the cold, ruthless look in her eyes and the darkness that seemed to wash over her like a haunting promise looked nothing like her as she slowly stood up from the ground and walked right on past him.

It was like something had taken over her skin and made its home there, leaving behind something that wasn't quite right, something that made his stomach clench for reasons unknown as everything in his body ordered him to fucking move. He didn't believe in saints, didn't believe in God's or any higher force other than himself and he never would but if he did...he knew that they'd look something like that.

Vicious, dangerous, fashioned into something that looked half a corpse and half immortal divinity, that looked like it would all end with her dark eyes, hell, purgatory, paradise, not knowing when darkness ended and she began...and then he realized very quickly why Deverous was so desperate to get his dirty pick-pocket back, as she wasn't just blending into the shadows behind them...but she was controlling them as the continued to rise and rise and rise above them like a soaring tide, threatening to drown him with nothing but her control keeping him safe.

And there was something inside him, something primal and awed and raw that refused to let him look away from the sight, unable to do anything but stare at the dark veins creeping up her arms, curling around her jaw, painting the scar it found there black and ominous, before he blinked....and there was just nothing there any more, just Yvaine standing tall but looking human, fragile, and as frayed as she always did, and for a moment, Kaz almost doubted himself, doubted what he'd seen with his own two eyes, until he heard the familar sounds of bodies dropping and turned his head just in time to catch the guards falling...well, the top half of them anyway, staining the floor crimson.

Then there was silence. Thick tension brimming silence, and Yvaine had never thought that something so quiet could be so loud as she shivered and shook in her shadows ever present grip.

Run, it was a powerful instinct, she wanted to run, everything inside of her was screaming at her to run, to leave, to get out of Ketterdam as fast as she could even if that meant drowning in the sea that separated her from Deverous...but she couldn't move, her feet feeling like they were simply glued to the ground underneath her, like something under the earth was pulling her down with its vile grip and forcing her to look at the devastation she caused, whispering promises of absolute destruction if she simply let go, let go of the half humanity she held onto with trembling hands as to not lose herself, as to not become nothing more than shadow.

She didn't look at the Brekker boy, not even when he slowly rose onto his feet, drilling holes into the side of her head as she desperately willed the tears away, bottom lip trembling and whole body shaking as she watched their blood seep into the uneven cobblestones. There was fear settling in her bones at what she'd see reflecting on his face, would it be that hungry greed that Deverous had? The terrible fear her mounting victims did before her shadows slaughtered them? Would there be hate? Would there be disgust?

Why did she even care?

But before she could get answers to any of those questions that curled around her mind in haunting loops, the sound of footsteps caused their attention to snap back over towards the archway where Inej and Jesper suddenly came rushing from around the corner frantically, respective knives out and pistols drawn...only to come to an abrupt stop as they stared wide eyed at the guards bodies currently staining the floor with years to come.

"Uh, what happened here?"

Yvaine swallowed thickly, her throat dry so it only left her feeling like she was swallowing sand paper as her gaze flickered around anxiously, excuse upon excuse dying on her tongue as she awaited Brekker to bestow that finishing blow and tell them exactly what happened. That she was a shadow summoner, a monster of the highest degree before he'd try and use her like Deverous did, make her become nothing more than his shadow, nothing more than darkness made flesh and she'd lose the closest thing she'd ever got to friendship, the permanence she'd longed for. And so, she took a breath and opened her mouth...but Brekker beat her to it.

"It seems our pick-pocket has more talents than just thieving. Let's go."

There was a second where the words hadn't registered in her head, far too busy flinching away from what she'd been expecting, but when nothing happened, Yvaine lifted her gaze and looked at him, her dark and tear-filled eyes catching his...but he didn't do anything other than give her a single solitary nod before he was limping away, cane clenched tightly in his gloved grip while she stared at his back as it grew smaller and smaller and finally, she let out the hitched breath she'd been holding...and let go of the shadows that had been winding around her fingers like a deadly threat.

Chapter Text

However, stuck in her own terrifying conscious of pain and misery, the dam broke, and she lost whatever semblance of composure she'd once had as she started to sob horribly, awful sounds that were torn from her throat like a wounded animal, shoulders drawn together as she shook and was forced to grip onto the sides of the basin so her legs didn't give way in her all-consuming grief that threatened to swallow her whole.

And finally, when it appeared that she was all cried out and that her exhaustion had taken over, Yvaine sat herself down, slumped against her bed with her head held in her shaking hands, trying to focus on taking deep, uneven breaths. But it was like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands, and her sanity kept slipping through the gaps of her fingers every time she as much as moved, ached, whimpered...there was to much inside her head, thoughts racing, fear mounting because just what would Brekker gain from keeping her secret? What would he force her to do to keep his lips sealed?

Was it not enough that she was already his thief? That she played her part on whatever plan he constructed? That she'd saved his life, that she'd accepted whatever he asked of her, that she'd tried.

Sometimes, Yvaine wished she was stronger, braver, more self assured in her ominous abilities...maybe then she wouldn't be forced to bow to another's whim, maybe then she wouldn't of been as absolutely terrified of everything that she was, hidden under her thick layers of armour of snark and confidence. Shadow summoners were...rare she supposed, a dying breed, something perhaps borderlining on extinction or so she'd assumed, hardly heard about...except for one. One who was despised, one who was scorned, a starless sinner that legends were spun from tongues that dripped black.

But in truth, she knew she was nothing like them, nothing like the rumours of the black heretic that people merely whispered about, who's dangerous intentions ripped apart the world to create something new, a creature who didn't need salvation or damnation, and just used the shadows that he'd controlled to get whatever he wanted...while Yvaine was nothing but vulnerable, an ordinary hand stained with darkness, just lonely for something to touch and for something to touch her back and having no choice but to find that comfort in her one constant, her one familar of the shadows that ruined her life and saved it in the same breath.

And from that strange comfort, only isolation was sought from it, because she'd known, she'd just known that if she was found out...well, whatever would happen to her, it wouldn't be good. And she didn't want to give anyone that chance to hurt her, to enslave her, to make her their anything when the one thing she had in life, the one thing she had complete control over was her freedom, even if from that freedom loneliness lingered...Because loneliness was better than death.

She remembered years ago, long before she truly knew the weight of her devastation, before Deverous, before anything of true substance...she'd met a Suli couple and their son, well, met seemed like too less of a word, considering the truth was that they'd caught her trying to steal from them, her skinny thieving fingers stained with blood and dirt and her dark eyes hungry and wanting, filled with starvation and a feral chaos just ready to ripple across the earth like a rock falling into water.

However strangely enough, instead of shunning her which they very fine well could of...they welcomed her, recognising a wayward lost soul when they saw one and inviting her into their warmth, and naturally, at first she'd been sceptical, taking the offered food with a swiftness and violence of a feral stray, small body with knobbly knees shaking in tremors as the wind wreaked havoc across bruised and gaunt skin. And yes, quite like strays, Yvaine had found herself going back for more, taking whatever they'd give her and feeling the first mere brush of something called human decency and longing for more.

The son had been named Dehmanjay she remembered, he'd tried to teach her coin tricks, making them dance between his fingers like some sort of graceful dance that only he knew, making it disappear and then reappear behind her ear as she'd smiled her first ever smile that had made her unused lips bleed. "You need to feel the coin, not see it, Yvaine. That's where you keep making the mistake." He'd tell her gently, cupping her hand and moving the metal through it in some kind of imitation of what he'd done prior, though far more clumsy and subdued as she grumbled and cursed as he laughed.

But, even after spending a mere month with them, she'd never gotten the hang of such talents, because all she really knew what to do with her fingers was steal, and whether that was jewelry from wrists or mortality from people, her shadows cared not.

They only knew how to do one thing and that was take.

She couldn't remember much about them anymore, details waning away like crumbling paintings as the years passed her by, too full of sorrow and grief with every grueling day that had made her bones ache, and her empty stomach clench with longing. But what she could remember of them...was that they were kind, something that had seemed so rare when she was younger, she remembered that they were warm and happy with what little they had, and that for the first time in her life, Yvaine had allowed herself the comfort of trust with them...and if things had been different, if she had been different, she thought she would of stayed with them, thought she would of made a friend, made a family.

Perhaps that was why she was so quick to trust Deverous, perhaps Dehmanjay and his family had ruined her with their kindness, and perhaps if she hadn't of been so naive, she would of still had her freedom, she wouldn't of been plagued by the trauma that he had placed upon her like a crown filled with thorns.

She'd been so stupid back then, less callous with the shadows, more feral, more rough around the edges as she took the world for all it had, angry at it for abandoning her, seeing her as something worthless when she was anything but. And all it had taken was Deverous to happen upon her thriving fingers by simple chance, a lapse in fate that only ruined her, letting him catch a glimpse of her dark eyes that gleamed in the morning light, her strange and deadly, sharp beauty that threatned to cut those around her for his obsession to begin.

He'd been smart about it, that much she could admit, she hadn't known who he was, didn't know the hold he seemed to have over everything and everyone...he'd offered her a job, a chance to better herself, to not be starving or cold or lonely ever again and she'd been so stupidly quick to take it, desperate to be seen and not caring for how it would happen. But she'd found out eventually, found out just how cruel hands could be, how he could manipulate her like she was clay and he was a vision, pulling her and taking more and more from her until she hardly recognised herself anymore.

There were thoughts whirling inside her head, each one more painful than the last as she sat there, overwhelmed by her memories, her anxieties, her fears...but before she could truly lose herself to her past, she finally heard the ominous sound of the can tapping against the wood followed by uneven footsteps, walking down the short hallway to her room and getting closer and closer with each passing second as she stared out unseeing in front of her, glaring towards the door and knowing...that it was time to pay her dos.

The footsteps came to a stop just outside of her room, but she didn't move, didn't even blink until her door creaked open slowly, and standing there, looking as unbothered as he usually did, Kaz Brekker didn't wait for permission as he strolled on in, dressed in his usual state of black on black on black, looking around her room nonchalantly, gaze flickering from place to place, seemingly in absolutely no hurry to break the awful atmosphere that had thickened around them that continued to build and build and build.

"So...what the hell do you want me to do, Brekker? Want me to get on my knees and start kissing your feet? Or how about I steal you the Ravakan crown jewels?" She finally hissed sarcastically when the silence of the room grew too heavy to bare, glaring up at him with hatred dripping from her tongue like black ink as something vile scratched at her throat, angry and resentful and brimming with tension as her bedroom seemed to keep closing in on her with each passing moment, getting closer and closer until she felt like she was going to suffocate, like she was back in that fucking cage waiting for his next order.

"A thank you would be a good place to start...perhaps we can save all of the rest for later." His lips twitched for half a second as he smirked down at her, obviously amused at her frustration and knowing that there was nothing she could do about it, could do about him, especially now that she was in his so called dept twice over, him keeping her secret for whatever known reason...and him keeping her from Deverous or someone far worse in the monstrous Ketterdam.

"And what about my thanks, asshole? I saved your life."

"Don't bother trying to play me for a fool, pick-pocket. You saved yourself...I was merely in the crossfire." Brekker said idly, walking around her room like he owned it and yes, technically, she supposed he did, but that didn't make her any less resentful as he started to pick up her seemingly endless supply of candles with bored hands, gloved fingers holding them strangely as he looked at the suspiciously...as if they were concealed weapons and not a way for her to ignore the shadows that were constantly restless with her unease.

Rage simmered inside of her, like a beast frothing at the mouth the more she watched him, the more she listened to him, hearing the bored tone in his voice as he spoke as if everything he said was fact, was gospel when he didn't even come close to the truth of what actually happened, and Yvaine barely waited another moment before she was standing up to snarl. "Oh really? Is that what you've deduced? Just because you wouldn't save anyone but yourself doesn't mean that everyone else is the same. I could of easily just left you there, disappeared in the shadows instead of staining my hands with more blood for you but I didn't."

Brekker scoffed loudly, turning to face her with his dark brows set in a frown, his eyes flickering from the tips of her boots to the blackness of her gaze as he leaned against his cane, moving just slightly closer to make himself heard. "You're soft, pick-pocket. And you won't survive for very long in Ketterdam if you allow your...affection to get the better of you."

"You know I could cut you in half and not break a sweat, right? So maybe you should watch your tone." Idly, she remembered that night back in the alleyway, back to their first meeting that seemed so long ago as they both stood there, and she couldn't help but be reminded of it, the two of them squaring up against each other, trying to establish who was the bigger threat between them, who was the more dangerous one, and who was the one with the odds in their favour? And even now...it seemed that neither knew the answer to any of those questions.

Two months with the dregs, two months with the crows...and she and the Brekker boy seemed to be right back where they started, or just maybe they never left it in the first place.

"You could, but you wouldn't, you care too much for Inej and Jesper to do that, don't you?" He said, left brow raising higher than the other in an expression of mock consideration, and Yvaine had to swallow the venemous hiss pooling against her tongue as she forced her gaze away, breathing heavily at the unfortunately true words spoken...she should know better by now, she should of known not to be so open, but most importantly, she should of known not to get attached to people that could destroy her from the inside out.

To feel anything deranged you, she tried to remind herself desperately, and to be seen feeling anything was to strip her naked.

"How long do I have until I'm free of my dept to you?" The shadow summoner whispered thickly as she hurried to change the subject, turning away from him with her hands clenched into fists by her side, digging her short nails into the palm of her hand in an attempt to keep steady, to not let him see how all of this was affecting her, to simply keep breathing instead of doing something she'd regret...like losing all her inhibitions and simply revoking his right to breathe by fucking strangling the smug bastard of the Barell right then and there.

"Well, coupled in with the fact that I'm keeping your secret under wrap and key, I'd say another couple of months. Unless you want the world to know that a shadow summoner is wreaking havoc across Ketterdam."

She almost screamed at his words, not knowing whether she wanted to break down in tears or start laughing manically in the comfort of her isolation, but not wanting to do either in his presence, not when he already was holding so much over her head, not when her sanity was hanging in the balance as more and more of her freedom was taken away from her like it was something to be held instead of something that was given. Truly, she would of loved to known which saint she'd pissed off to deserve this, to deserve any of this, because it seemed like from the day she was born nothing but pain was forced down upon her.

"I'm assuming Deverous knows of your abilities, why else would he place such a high price on your head?"

Yvaine scoffed, eyes watering as she finally brought her gaze up to glare into his eyes, tongue digging into the side of her cheek as she smiled painfully. "Deverous wants me because he can't have me. I was young when he found me, young and desperate and tired of trying to survive in a world that didn't want me in it and he offered me something that I'd rarely even thought about, safety, protection, basic human fucking decency. But with every passing day, he just took more and more of me, I started as his thief, then his protector...and then his killer. But I drew the line at his whore and for my refusal...well, let's just say I wasn't half as damaged as I am now when I met him."

Her trembling hands danced over the scar on her jaw absentmindnessly as she lost herself to the memories, her wrist throbbing in phantom pain and her back feeling like it was being flogged anew, scars, wounds, broken bones and internal pain that was invisible coming to the surface of her mind, the sound of a whip cracking through the air, wounded screams, moans whispered in her ears as her ruined body was thrusted back and forth, bones being ripped apart in her prison of flesh...before she shook her head to clear it of the fog delving into it, looking back over to Brekker who only continued to watch her with something flickering in his dark eyes.

"That's why I ran, why I can't go back to him...he knows my every weakness, and he'll exploit it...he'll throw me in that fucking cage again until the shadows will tear me apart in their rage."

And as if knowing she was talking about them, the darkness in the room began to dance, licking at her heels like a terrifying promise, and she couldn't help the quiet, wounded sounding sob that slipped from her lips as she felt them mounting around her. "I'm scared that one day, the shadows are going to swallow me whole...and no one is even going to notice I'm gone." She whispered in a horrified cry, more to herself than anyone else, but he heard her all the same.

"They would." Brekker said, looking at her calmly, knowing that it wasn't just the shadow summoner who'd become a slave to affection, and that strangely enough, he hadn't seen his sharpshooter or his wraith look happier than when they were with the pick-pocket for whatever reason.

But Yvaine only shook her head as if she didn't even hear him, taking a deep breath to try and gain some semblance of composure as she moved back over to the basin of water, desperate to keep her sweating hands busy as they trembled and shook, quickly rolling up her oversized sleeves to rest against the crook of her elbow and plunging them into the sharp coldness that struck her nerves like lightning and forcing her back into the present, where Brekker had found his eyes lingering on the scars on her forearms, a question forming on the tip of his tongue that he knew the answer to as she caught him looking.

"I can't go back to Deverous, Kaz. I can't."

"You won't." His hands clenched tightly over his cane, not quite promising her safety, but something close to it as they shared a look, shared a moment that had both of their stomachs swirling with uncertainty, with unease, with something that neither could explain, before he broke the prolonged eye contact to glance over at the window of her room, taking in the way night had fallen, the fog of Ketterdam gloomier than ever in the darkness. "Tomorrow you'll be training with Inej and Jesper."

"Wait, what?-"

But the Brekker boy only continued on like he hadn't of been interrupted in the first place, looking towards her briefly with his brow quirked and lips thinned into an expression she couldn't made sense of, not matter how hard she tried. "You can't always rely on your...abilities to save you, especially here in Ketterdam with Grisha slave traders lurking around every corner. It would be stupid of you to try that trick you pulled again-"

"The trick I pulled to save you." She quickly spat, wondering if he'd forgotten why he knew her secret in the first place, that she'd willingly exposed herself to save a life that she wasn't even sure deserved it in the first place. But he had been correct in his assumption that her salvation hadn't been for his benefit, but for the two who had been nothing but kind, who had filled her days with feelings that weren't loneliness, that had made life about something more than survival in the mere months that she'd known them...and for some odd reason they both had decided that their loyalty lied with Dirtyhands, and so for now, hers did too.

"I'm aware. I-" Kaz cut himself off and gave her a dark look brimming with dangerous tension, gloved hand tightening around his cane so hard that she could once again hear the leather squeaking as he struggled with what he was trying to say as she watched him with a scowl, arms crossing over her chest and waiting mockingly. "I'm aware that you saved my life...and now, I'm returning the favour. You start early in the morning with Inej, try not to be late, pick-pocket."

Chapter Text

So really, she supposed it was a blessing in disguise when Inej knocked upon her door early in the morning just like Brekker had promised she would, a barely there smile on her beautiful features as Yvaine opened the door with her hair sticking out in all directions, and becoming the distraction the shadow summoner so desperately needed as she quickly got changed and promised the girl that she was her mold to shape however she'd see fit...which had the desired effect of making the wraith laugh a startled laugh as she shook her head and properly smiled.

However, training with Inej...was definitely the opposite of gentle like she'd secretly been expecting, because the small girl with delicate hands and beautiful eyes of bronze was absolutely nothing short of deadly as she wielded her blades like they were a mere extension of her arm, twisting this way and that, dancing through the air, between her palms like it was a mere performance filled with threat...and Yvaine would be lying if she said she wasn't scared, or quite frankly, even more enamoured with the girl who only seemed to get more and more incredible by the minute.

And yet, as they both quickly found, it turned out that the shadow summoner was next to useless trying to throw a knife, actually, trying to use a knife at all ended up bestowing more damage onto her than anything else, her fingers littered with small cuts and a permanent pout beginning to stain her features because this was definitely not fair...and it didn't help matters that she could see Inej trying not to laugh every time Yvaine managed to drop the stupid blades, some getting stuck into the wood beneath their feet or disappearing somewhere out of view with the sound of shattering glass and muffled curses, and of course, getting closer and closer to loosing a bloody finger with every passing moment.

In all honesty, she was pretty sure she'd never been sweatier in her whole life because after she'd failed with knives, she was taught with hand to hand combat, running, and even climbing...and now she just felt gross, her curly hair mattered against the nape of her neck, her palms literally slick with perspiration and don't even get her started on the wetness under her breasts as she panted with her hands braced against her knees...all the while the wraith looked as perfect and as put together as she always did, and the shadow summoner hated her as much as she admired her as she groaned miserably.

"I told you to take the shirt off, Yvaine. Working in something tighter, and not as thick would help you alot more than being drowned in fabric." Inej said dryly, a small smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she watched the pick-pocket struggle to catch her breath with her dark shirt that was usually so baggy now completely stuck to her skin in damp patches, looking a few moments away from collapsing on the ground and never getting back up again, her cheeks flushed and lithe fingers trembling as she cupped her shaking legs, trying desperately to keep her balance.

"The shirt-" She broke off to gasp greedily for air that felt far too tight, her chest heaving and sweat dribbling down her face, brushing over her jaw and dancing over her scar in a rather disgusting fashion that made her want to grimace, however, considering the fact that merely breathing was becoming painful for her, she didn't want to feel what the consequences were of her actually using her muscles, even if it was just her facial ones to scowl to show her absolute displeasure at this whole mock operation. "-the shirt stays on...or you at least take me out for dinner first."

"Do twenty more push-ups and I'll think about it."

Yvaine let out a sound that closely resembled a wheeze mixed in with the cry of a dying animal, looking up towards the wraith in wide-eyed horror, feeling like she was going to throw up just at the mere thought of doing such a thing. She saved Kaz Brekker's life, so why the hell did she feel like she was being punished? He'd had to of known how merciless Inej was as a teacher and he just allowed her to go in, heart open and excited about the prospect of spending more time with her...well, she hoped she wasn't being too optimistic is saying her friend, though she didn't feel as such at the moment as she groaned again.

"No, no absolutely not. I am done...you, you are an evil woman."

"Here, have a drink before you pass out. Don't worry, it should be nice and cold." Inej smiled, walking towards her with footsteps so quiet they sounded like they belonged to a mouse before handing her a flask of water and laughing quietly as she instantly began to chug it like her life depended on it, gulping it down greedily with no sign of stopping as it slid down her parched throat and soothed it, never tasting better than it had in that very moment, all the while the suli girl watched in amusement. "How have you survived on your own for so long if you can barely run half a mile?"

The shadow summoner didn't really have a good answer to that, well, she did technically, but considering she was trying to keep her monstrous devastation under wraps, it wasn't like she was going to blurt out that the darkness she commanded, what commanded her had kept her safe for as long as she could remember, so instead, she finally pulled the flask from her lips and spun around to place it upon a window still, waving a hand behind her shoulder nonchalantly. "Eh, I have my ways."

"...Like the ways that helped you kill all of those men?"

She froze, fingers clenching over the water still in her hand as she stared ahead of her, turmoil rocking her stomach like the tides with her exhaustion long forgotten at the ominous words that hung heavy in the air, thick with strife, with tension. And then she slowly turned around, looking towards Inej who raised her chin, meeting her gaze evenly as something cold flickered in Yvaine's dark eyes as she stood tall before sighing quietly, leaning back against the wall with her expression even, almost calm while she felt anything but. "I see...well then, why don't you say what you really want to say, Inej."

"I think we both know what I want to say. I understand if you can't tell me everything because I know if you were a danger to us, to the dregs, Kaz would of already dealt with you...but I know that something isn't right." Inej kept herself still, her brows furrowed and stance confident as she looked upon the pick-pocket, remembering that strange terror that had pooled in her gut as the sight of those men staining the ground, their deaths brutal, and literally cut short, dead in the space of a few mere minutes and apparently all due to the girl standing in front of her who could barely even hold a knife.

"He could try." Yvaine spoke calmly, reaching up idly to wipe some sweat off of her forehead in an effort to distract herself, trying to focus on not letting herself lose control, not allowing the shadows to begin to flicker in her dreadful anxiety, all the wraith had said what that she knew something wasn't right, meaning that she didn't know the full story, and that she, quite possibly, had some leeway here if she played her cards right. "You obviously know that I'm grisha, so you know why I had to keep this secret, why Kaz had to keep the secret, especially here in Ketterdam...but I trust you, Inej, and I'm hoping that you can do the same."

"You trust me?"

And then there was a moment, just a moment where she paused, glancing down at the ground as she tried to gather her thoughts, the simple words painful because she knew she shouldn't, knew that naive trust would be her ruin just like it was before, but she desired to trust, desired to have that faith in someone like Inej with her saints, like Jesper with his revolvers, Kaz with his mind...but that's all it was, desire, and that in itself was something humiliating.

"Yes." She finally whispered, breaking the silence that seemed to have stretched around them for eons, wondering if it was a lie, a manipulation to ensure her silence, but the line was so blurred she couldn't even see it's true shape anymore as she looked up from where she'd been glaring holes into the crooked floor, lifting her gaze to stare into the wraiths eyes of stunning bronze with hers of blackened shadow. "I don't want to, I don't want to trust any of you...but somehow I do. I think I trust you with my life, even if you can't bring yourself to take one...because as you can see, I could do that for you."

However, Inej looked strangely touched at her words all the same, her lithe hand pressed over her chest where her heart lay beating in its bones prison...before her expression finally relaxed with her body soon following, and the two found themselves sharing an understanding and soft smile as she bowed her head, a promise in her dark eyes that Yvaine's secret would be kept safe on her quiet lips. But the shadow summoner couldn't resist making sure the tension was cleared with a quick joke and a wink. "Of course I'd expect payment for my valiant efforts, candles most specifically."

"Oh, of course." The suli girl nodded in mock seriousness as she leaned down to pick one of her knives from her thigh, flipping it around her fingers with ease as she quirked a brow over towards the pick-pocket with a certain challenge in her gaze, looking almost excited while the other was anything but. "So, shall we start trying again? I'd hate to have to tell Kaz that you'll be relying on your other ways to survive in Ketterdam." And then Yvaine realized just how evil the wraith could be as she whimpered tiredly.
_________________________________________________

Shockingly, practicing how to shoot with Jesper didn't go any better, in fact, it somehow got worse with her almost shooting herself in the face twice, and the only reason she didn't currently have a hole in her forehead or cheek was because of the sharpshooter's quick reflexes as he'd whip the gun out of her hand just as it would go off with a hammering bang...and yet that didn't stop the amount of casualties, because she'd managed to kill two poor pigeons that had just been flying by harmlessly, not knowing their lives were going to be cut short by a trigger happy shadow summoner.

But when he wasn't saving her life, Jesper wasn't being alot of help in the slightest considering he spent most of the time laughing at her until there were tears streaming down his face that no matter how much he wiped at it kept coming, literally holding his stomach and wheezing like he was about to pass out as she managed to miss every single shot until finally, she almost threw it off of his stupid head in her vile frustration at being able to do nothing right. "Can you stop laughing for like, a minute? I am doing my best here you ass."

"I'm sorry gorgeous, but come on, a blind man could of hit that!"

"Could you see things from my point of view for one second-" But then she cut herself off...as the smug bastard crouched down until they were eye level as the side of her face twitched in barely concealed rage, a satisfied smirk resting on his stupidly pretty lips as he looked at her...and she couldn't help it, she didn't even try to resist her urges and she lashed out quicker than a viper, her open palm slamming against his long throat and sending him to his knees as he choked dramatically, gasping up at her as she straightened up and pretended to brush some dirt from her shoulder nonchalantly. "That's what you get for being an ass."

"I see the lessons are going well."

A rough and unfortunately familiar voice interrupted the sound of Jesper's choking, and she wasn't suprised in the slightest when she twisted around to see Kaz limping towards them, strolling out from the shadows as if he commanded them instead of her, quirking a dark brow at the two, one of whom was still trying to gather his bearing after being punched in the throat while the other shrugged her shoulders at him with an almost smug smirk...something that quickly dropped when he gestured over towards her to follow him, turning his back and leaving the ominous sound of his cane tapping against the ground behind him.

Yvaine sighed quietly, resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry, her social energy drained to the tiniest pulp as she began to follow after him, leaving an offended looking sharpshooter still on the floor gasping at the two before he stood and stomped off towards the crow club in a huff, and, if the shadow summoner wasn't as exhausted as she currently was, she would of risked angering the bastard of the Barell to apologise and make sure he was alright...but the only thing inside her head was the need to sleep, or just the need to be alone even if it was only for a few hours.

However she went after him all the same, over towards the Slat in which she walked in behind him, all of the way up the stairs which creaked with her every step, across the floorboards of the thin hallway and then into his room which was really more of an office with every available surface filled to the brim with papers and documents full of things that she didn't care to even attempt to read because it usually just gave her a headache because it was all blurry and stupid and it just made her weirdly shameful about being so illiterate that she couldn't even spell her own name.

And honestly, she really shouldn't of been all that suprised at him sitting down by his desk, ignoring her while flicking through some list just for the purpose of making her frustrated like he seemed to do constantly, yet there she, wanting to bash his head in all the same as the minutes ticked by and he continued to sit there, nonplussed while her foot started to tap against the floor underneath them impatiently...and when he finally turned to look at her she could only seethe at the thinly veiled amusement in his eyes as his lips twitched. "I need you on a job tonight, there's a shipment coming in for a rival gang by the docks and I need you to find out who's supplying it."

"Wait, this sounds like something more to Inej's talents rather than mine."

Yvaine felt herself frowning as confusion and suspicion brimmed inside her like blistering heat, her arms crossing over her chest as she leant off to the side, staring down at him with a question set upon the panes of her face, only to have him quirk a brow and look her up and down with something sinful in his gaze, and she just knew that whatever he was about to utter next she most definitely wasn't going to like the sound of, because she already had a pretty good idea on what it was going to entail. "I'm aware. But she is currently on another job for me...and I'm sure you'll be able to think of something."

And boom, there it is, she thought to herself in annoyed boredom, almost expecting it since the moment he's found out about what she is, his quick mind always looking upon the next scheme, wondering how he could use it, use her to his advantage...and her ability to hide in the shadows was just going to be one of the many things he'd make her do in an effort to keep his silence no doubt as she sighed and shook her head with a tired groan escaping her mouth. "Saints, you've barely known I was a shadow summoner for a day and you're already exploiting it."

"I am a business man, pick-pocket." Kaz said, leaning one of his gloved hands atop the other on his cane which rested between his thighs, looking up at her with something smug curling around the corner of his lips, not quite a smile, not quite a smirk, but something far more than his usual indifferent expression splattered with blood and spite, the light amber glow from the candle only making the harsh edges of his face somehow softer, less rough, less frankly terrifying the longer she looked at him in the warmth surrounding them like he was something that deserved to be looked at...not that that was going to stop her from saying just what she thought of him of course.

"You're an ass is what you are."

"Watch your tone...I've cut out tongues for less."

"Well you could always try, Kaz darling, but I wouldn't reccomend it." She cooed mockingly, a look resting upon her face that was nothing short of feral as they stared at each other, a smirk twisting at Yvaine's lips and something almost resembling amusement on Brekker's, before he broke their prolonged gaze to glance back down to his documents, turning his back to her in dismissal as she chuckled and spun on her heel to stroll over towards the door, only to pause as she remembered something important...that was probably going to come back to bit her in the ass but it was probably better to rip the bandage off while she could.

"Oh, and by the way, Inej knows that I'm grisha apparently, sorry! Anyway I'll just be going to the docks now -"

The shadow summoner barely got even halfway out of the door before Kaz slammed his cane down hard onto the flooring beneath him, so loud and abrupt and terrifying that she could hear the downstairs sounds from the residents resting in the Slat go quiet with unease, and yes, while she'd been expecting a reaction like that, it still didn't stop her from grimacing as she slowly turned back around to see him glaring at her darkly with a rather scary expression that made her insides turn cold. "I see there's no point in telling you something considering you seem to do the exact opposite."

"In my defence I didn't actually tell her anything! She guessed and I...well, I didn't exactly discourage her." Yvaine shrugged helplessly, trying not to wince as he continued to stare at her with that look on his face that really did nothing to help her uneasiness as she weakly scratched at the scar that curved around her jaw nervously, and then finally giving up and throwing her hands up in the air with a huff. "Look, I'm pretty sure I trust Inej, don't you?"

"Trust can get you killed." The Brekker boy snapped coldly, and there was something that flickered in his dark eyes for a moment, just one singular moment like he was lost in some kind of memory but it was gone as quickly as it had came over him, and Yvaine couldn't help but wonder if it actually happened...or if she was trying to find something in him that wasn't there, a speckle of humanity, a reason for why he could be so cruel and callous...but knowing better that anyone that sometimes you didn't need a reason for anything ther than trying to survive in a world that was far worse than you'd ever be.

"Everything can get you killed, everything and anything...she knew something wasn't right, and I can't blame her. I killed those men with no sign of a weapon on me and then you asked her to teach me how to defend myself and then Jesper to teach me how to shoot, do you really think they weren't going to start asking questions?" She asked rhetorically, brows furrowed and her trembling fingers tucked under her armpit like an embrace, like a shield as she looked everywhere but his gaze that threatned to make hell itself freeze over in his anger.

"Don't tell me you told Jesper too." Kaz said, sounding incredibly exasperated and most of all tired of dealing with her shit, looking like he wanted to run his gloved palm down his face but never wanting to risk that idea that he could feel such human emotions that weren't spite and hatred or do something so uncollected. Honestly, sometimes Yvaine just really wanted to let go and cause chaos, just to see what would happen and see just how stressed out she could make the boy, maybe even make him loose his marbles which she thought would be very satisfying indeed.

"I'm not that suicidal." But today wasn't the day for that as she scoffed at the mere implication that she would be so stupid, she liked the sharpshooter plenty enough, really, she did, quite possibly more than she'd ever liked anyone else before, but she did know that if you placed enough alcohol in his hand or better yet his lips, he could talk for the whole of Ketterdam about anything and everything and eventually, accidentally or not, spill your deepest and darkest secret and not realise until the next morning...and by then Yvaine would already be back in Deverous's cruel clutches once more.

The Brekker boy leaned back into his chair just slighty, harsh grip relaxing on his cane for a second as he closed his eyes, breathing a sharp breath through his upturned nose before looking at her calmly, a mocking twitch curling over his lips once more as he watched her in a way that really had her senses on edge as she frowned at him uneasily. "Then there's hope for you yet, darling shadow...now why don't you hurry along, I suppose I'll have to clean up your mess while you're gone."

Well, she thought, trying to look on the bright side of things as she turned around and finally rushed out of the room as fast as her legs could carry her lest he change his mind and whack her with that stupid cane of his, practically flying down the stairs as the inhabitants of the Slat currently sitting around looked at her strangely, probably wondering how she wasn't dead after being stuck with Brekker in his office for however long she was. As least now you'll finally be getting that alone time you wanted, just a shame it's when you're going to be smelling fish guts and sweat.

Chapter Text

Cleaning the Slat had taken her longer than she expected, almost the full day in fact, and the only reason it didn't take over the night as well was because of the fact Kaz had another job planned for his murder of crows, which fortunately...or unfortunately involved her, and at that moment in time, she didn't know which was which. Because on the one hand, cleaning mud and blood and other suspicious stains off of the floor hadn't exactly been the most fun she'd ever had...but murdering a couple of people wasn't her ideal night out either, so it was really a lose lose either way.

She didn't actually know much about the job in mind, not that she usually did in all truth, though she was sure it had something to do with that shipment he'd made her spy on all those weeks ago and perhaps something about trading something with something...but the difference was that this time, Dirtyhands had actually told her the plan, he'd even gathered the four of them in his office to show them the map as he told them their individual roles...to their literal faces. However, Yvaine had been too shocked to actually listen to a bastard word he'd said, which she was definitely paying the price for as she floundered around the docks like a lost child.

There was bullets raining around her, and she had a sneaky suspicion that that was because the plan had already gone wrong before she'd even had time to fuck it up, or perhaps this was all according to plan? She really did have no idea, and in truth she was just focusing on not getting shot as she ducked this way and that, wondering where Jesper was when she needed him, wondering where he was at all actually because he'd usually be in the middle of all this having the time of his life...and yet it just seemed to just be her playing chicken with whichever gang was currently shooting at her.

"Yvaine! Get here now!"

Her salvation came in the form of Brekker's voice, and she never thought she'd be so relieved to see a sign of that horrific haircut of his as he popped his head out from what appeared to be the ground, and the shadow summoner didn't even hesitate to let out a loud cackle as she rushed towards him, sliding across the muddy ground to ignore the bullets that had been aimed at her. Before finally arriving in front of Brekker who was hidden behind some large barrels...and in some form of strange bunker looking thing as he hurriedly gestured for her to come inside with a face like thunder as she rolled her eyes and did so, still giggling under her breath from the adrenaline lacing it's way through her veins.

But when he closed the lid of the underground storage that was really about the same size of a generous shed...he plunged them into darkness, and her amused laughter abruptly cut short as fear took its place as she finally realized that she was in very dangerous territory indeed.

The shadows began to flicker almost instantly as she held her breath, eyes frantically moving around quickly but unable to see anything but the darkness around her, consuming her, suffocating her as Kaz began to snarl something at her quietly...but she couldn't hear a single word of it, her fingers trembling as she clenched her hands into tight fists, feeling the allure of the dark as it whispered to her, feeling the vile caresses of her most terrifying monsters and greatest comforts as they licked at her skin. She was in darkness, and soon darkness she would become as thick tendrils of nothing began to claw at her, hooking into her skin, getting ready to swallow her whole.

And in no time at all she was panicking, breath catching and terror and agony fighting their terrible battles inside her mortal corpse, feeling like she was about to be torn open only to find hollow, brittle, just shadow with skin that was pretending to be human. It had always been this way, because the shadows may of saved her life but they destroyed her in every way that matters, and sometimes she wondered if they'd saved her for her own salvation, or because they wanted to torment her some more with the devastation of being alive and alone and forgotten, but most of all, in their dept because she was nothing without them.

Moments passed that felt like minutes, hours, days, weeks as her throat tightened to the point of ruin, darkness filling her lungs until she could no longer breathe, choking on it, choking upon her own tongue as silence surrounded her, loud and unapologetic as she became in danger of forgetting herself, because the shadows played tricks upon her, they always had...and forced her to wonder if perhaps she'd never escaped from Deverous in the first place, perhaps she was still in the cage about to feel his disgusting hands upon her, perhaps she'd made Ketterdam and all of its inhabitants up, perhaps she was already dead.

And then there was something cold and heavy suddenly pressing against the soft skin above her clavicle, and a familar rough voice of stone on stone finally breached her ears through the shadows like it was cutting through them with ease. "You need to breathe."

Dirtyhands, Bastard of the Barrel, Brekker, Kaz, her boss, her blackmailer, her acquaintance...and at this moment in time, her lifeline. Her trembling hands reached up, scrambling frantically as she held on to the cold cane he kept pressed against her neck, pushing it down harder until the crow's sharp beak threatned to cut into her, needing its reassurance that she was there, that she was real, that she wasn't becoming one with the shadows as she continued to sob and heave, bile building up in her throat as she continued desperately to try and search through the darkness for a sign of his dark eyes. "K-kaz? What-"

"Have you been shot? Stabbed? A blow to the head?" He asked quickly with his tone short and chipped, like he was frustrated with her panic or possible wounds, and Yvaine wanted to make a joke, ask if that was almost concern she could hear in that thick gravel he called a voice, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry, she wanted to feel like herself instead of like she was being pulled into the abyss of her own creation...but instead all that came out of her lips was another muffled whine, hysterically crying as the shadows kept moving around her, getting more and more restless by the minute.

"F-fuck- no. Just- just keep talking to me, please."

"You're scared of the dark? I was under the impression that you controlled it." The Brekker boy sounded mocking, like it was amusing to find such a thing ironic which she supposed it was, but he didn't know about the dangers of the dark, didn't know that she was just as much in danger to falling to the shadows as anyone else, and he couldn't feel the way they had become suddenly so much stronger, couldn't hear the way they'd began to awake and whisper, offering her their destruction, threatening her with damnation.

"I'm a-afraid of what's in it." The shadow summoner breathed out, hitched and shaking with every stuttered word that felt like ash upon her tongue. But she knew he couldn't understand, wouldn't understand just what she could mean and how could he? Because Brekker became who he was by choice, or at least something close to it...but she never had that option, the darkness forced her hand, made her a monster, made her vulnerable and invincible all in the same breath, it took and took and took, uncaring for her mortal coil as it stained her hands only for her to see, hidden away under her skin was something lethal, something that poisoned everything it touched.

"Because it's not just me."

And when she was in darkness without any hint of light or salvation...it was like the shadows wanted retribution for their protection as they clung to her, feeling like they were constantly trying to pull her down, down, down into the fiery pits of hell, ready to spark and burn and die at a moments notice. They began to fester faster now, feeling her fear, her terror and rejoicing at it like it was feeding them, and wasn't it strange? Wasn't it horrifying to be so afraid of the very thing that kept her sane all of these years?

However, all the while Yvaine began to lose herself, Kaz was fighting the urge to snap at her, his gaze constantly looking up towards the hatch as if expecting it to be forced open at any minute and getting them caught as the girl panicked, but just as he opened his mouth to snarl for her to be quiet...that's when he felt it, something moving around his legs, cold to the touch and most certainly not human, it was like something you'd expect fog to feel like when you'd walk through it, like a phantom touch of something heavy and thick upon you shoulders, tugging at his pant leg, scratching at his pale skin until he could feel welts begin to form...and them calming the pick-pocket down became a lot more urgent.

"Breathe, shadow summoner...or you're going to pass out."

He called her name after he was given no response, it was like she didn't even hear him and that was because she was completely and utterly lost in the darkness of her mind to the point she was losing herself in the physical sense too...and he remembered her words all those weeks ago, that confession that he'd written off as paranoia, that she was scared that the shadows were going to swallow her whole...and now he realized she meant in the literal sense as he forced the head of his cane further into her skin, stepping forward to push her back into the wall behind her as she gasped.

But she was already gone, she couldn't hear, couldn't see anything but her sins coming back to haunt her, chest burning as her whole body became cold and erupted in horrible chills, like ghost after ghost was walking upon her grave, welcoming her as the blackness of the night seemed to grow darker and darker around her, until there was nothing.

"Yvaine!" Kaz finally snapped before hushing again, looking up cautiously to make sure that he hadn't been heard as he felt the waters that constantly lapped at his feet rise as he, himself, stared to panic, able to feel her frantic breath as it brushed over his cheek, choked like she was drowning, and he had to force his eyes shut lest he lose himself in memories as he whispered once more almost desperate. "You need to focus on my voice and breathe. You are not alone, pick-pocket....You will never be alone again now pull yourself together or we will both be caught, do you understand?"

And somehow, she heard him through her overwhelming hysteria, heard his voice, heard his heart as it pounded through the silence and she pulled on that tether like it was a raft in the sea, her eyes adjusting just slightly to see his oceanic blue, always so dark and cold but real...and the shadow summoner knew she was a monster, and she supposed Brekker was too...but perhaps even monsters needed to look out for each other every now and then as she finally took his advice and breathed.

Yvaine kept her hand upon his cane, feeling the little nick and scratches on the dark surface from fights of all sorts and from no dount walking on the gravelly Ketterdam ground, taking deep and steady gasps of air as she focused on it, on him, focusing on his own rough breathing that always sounded like he was just coming down from a cold, listening to the very quiet thumps from his chest that she wouldn't of been able to hear normally, but here, here in her domain where the shadows encased them, she could hear everything like it had been amplified ten times over...and soon, she was finally able to think clearly as she relaxed, just slightly against the wall behind her.

"Good. Did you remember the plan?" He said when it was clear she had finally calmed, about to pull his cane away and rest his aching weight upon it as his leg trembled underneath him...but something inside him refused to move it from her, something he decided to ignore the implications of and blaming it on the fact that if he did he was sure she'd somehow spiral once more, so instead he simply took a step back away from her until he was touching the wall opposite her to lean against it, gloved hand still wrapped around the end of his cane tightly as she held it the same.

"Would you hit me if I said no?"

"Jesper and Inej were on the ship planting the explosives...and you were the distraction."

Well, that was definitely a lucky break, Yvaine thought to herself with a tired smirk twitching at her bloodied lips, almost wanting to laugh at the irony of her having absolutely no clue what she had meant to do some time prior, and yet somehow managing to do exactly what her job had been out of sheer dumb luck which really could of been the story of her life as she gave into the urge to chuckle, pressing her head back against the rough wall behind her to try and cool the pounding of her head, before quirking her brows back towards where she was assuming her boss stood. "And just what were you doing?"

"Buisness." Kaz replied curtly, but just as she opened her mouth to press for more with a familar mischief in her dark eyes, the hatch to the small underground bunker gave a sudden rumble before it was yanked open as the light of the moon bathed upon them while the Brekker boy pulled his cane back in preparation while she pushed her hand back into the shadows ready to command them to do her bidding...but before the dangerous duo could do a single thing, Jesper popped his head over the opening to grin down at them broadly, and she honestly never thought she'd be so grateful to see him as she smiled back in total relief.

"Now what's a girl like you doing in a place like that, gorgeous?"

"Waiting for you to pull me out, obviously." She laughed tearfully, reaching up with shaking arms to wrap her palm around his outstretched hand and then using it to pull herself up as he grunted, giving her a cheeky wink as she patted his cheek and stood up, breathing the fresh air of fish guts and smoke and wondering just when she'd gotten so fond of it as she heard Kaz clamber up behind her, talking to Jesper in low voices about the bombs and about where their wraith was, to which the sharpshooter replied something like 'planted' and 'on the roof doing saints knows what like she usually does, boss.'

Yvaine twisted her head to look over towards them, watching as the Brekker boy nodded once, lips still set in a grim line and his face as dark and stormy as it usually was before he turned around, no doubt about to walk away now that the job was done...but then his eyes caught hers, liquid shadow clashing with steely blue and holding her there as they stared at each other silently, time feeling like it was slowing down around them, holding them prisoner...and then as quickly as the moment had come about it was over as he limped away, leaving the shadow summoner staring off after him with a furrow to her brows.

"What was that?" Jesper suddenly asked, snapping her attention back towards him as she glanced over to see his pretty face frowning in some kind of disbelief, frantically looking between her and then back over to Kaz's back as he grew smaller and smaller in the distance, seemingly pretty content to leave the two there which assured her that they were no longer in danger, though she didn't know how...but there was a more important mystery on her hands, and it was just the hell the sharpshooter was talking about as she blinked at him in confusion. "What was that look?"

"What look?"

"Between you and Kaz? Come on, there was a look!" He laughed, arms spread out in some dramatic gesture as she rolled her eyes at him, still not having the faintest clue what he was muttering on about as she began walking away back towards the comfort of the Slat, the corners of her lips quirking up in a small smile as she felt the shadows whisper to her about a familar presence currently running across the roof of the houses beside them silent as the night itself while the Zemeni boy followed behind her, looking down at her with a need for answers in his grey eyes.

"We looked at each other? Oh saints, the horror." Yvaine pretended to shudder at such a thought, wriggling her fingers clad in some rings that she'd helped herself too from Jesper's collection like a mocking ghost as he playfully slapped her hands away with a loud huff of exasperation.

"You've never looked at each other like that! You always look like you want to hit him and he always looks constipated...that look was neither of those!...Did you two bond in there or something?" The sharpshooter sounded a strange mixture of disgusted and amused as she twisted her face at the mere suggestion, because really, all she and Kaz did was stare at each other for barely even half a second without glaring or frowning and now Jesper was sure there was some kind of look between them that obviously meant something that she had no clue of what.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Really? So I'm still your favourite then, love?" He asked, deciding to drop the subject for now though he knew he wasn't going crazy as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to bring her close to his chest, tugging on a loose curl that had slipped out from her atrocious ponytail with his free hand and a shit-eating grin splitting his face almost in halves as she scowled up at him in annoyance, unable to hide the clear adoration in her dark eyes or the smile that constantly threatened to twitch at her dry lips just by being in his larger than life presence that made her feel warm and strangely safe...not that she'd ever tell him that of course.

"Inej is my favourite...she's not even half as annoying as you are."

"Thank you." Inej said quietly, having finally dropped down from the roof a few minutes ago and who had been walking behind them silently, but it appeared that the sharpshooter had apparently been none the wiser as he jumped higher than a frightened alley-cat at her appearing out of seemingly nowhere and cursed up a storm so loud, Yvaine was sure that the whole of Ketterdam could hear him as he gasped at the wraith in horror, panting quietly with his large hand splayed over his chest to try and calm the beating of his heart that had almost sent him into cardiac arrest while the two girls accompanying him exchanged amused looks.

"Saints! Where did you even come from?"

"She's been following us for a while now you scaredy cat, now come on. I want to go to bed before I end up passing out in the streets." The shadow summoner yawned tiredly, ignoring the others amused looks as she stumbled ahead, her panic attack draining her of everything she'd once had as she made her journey to the Slat, still trying to talk to the two behind her even though she could feel her eyelids dropping and her words slurring with every minute that passed them by.

And yet when she did finally find her head hitting her pillow later that very night to cushion her into unconsciousness...Yvaine was torn anew by terrible nightmares that struck her mortal corpse the moment she fell asleep, sweat gathering across her forehead and whole body wracking in tremors as she sobbed silently into the night, twisting this way and that with dreams of torturing darkness, harmful hands, blood, so much blood to the point where she didn't know what was hers or what was her victims, just terror after terror scratching through her mind until she shot up from her lumpy bed with a sharp cry, eyes wild and terrified as she heaved and whimpered.

She sat there for a while, fingers clenched in the rough material of her blanket, trying not to be too loud in her sobs lest someone else hear, but, after a few long minutes of consideration, she eventually stood up and left the shadow inflicted contours of her room, wandering down the halls of the Slat until she came to a stop at a familar door, breath catching in her throat as she paused, bottom lip trembling...before she opened the door and wandered in quietly.

Jesper looked up when she came in and grinned brightly, not moving from where he lay amongst his sheets, splayed out for the whole world to see without a care in the world alongside a book held in his pretty hands that he'd obviously been flicking through before she'd stumbled in, dark grey eyes lighting up as he sat up just slightly to look at her properly as the golden light of his lamp bathed him in a warm glow that just made her feel safe as her shoulders slumped in relief, walking over towards him silently. "Hey gorgeous, you alright?"

But the shadow summoner didn't answer him, instead crawling upon his bed, pushing herself under the sheets and then tucking herself into his embrace with a yawn, her cheek pressed against his chest as she nuzzled into his skin tiredly as he quickly began to shift around so she was comfortable against him, wrapping his lanky arm across her shoulder with a chuckle as he rested his chin atop of her head, a comfortable silence filling the room as he continued to look at the weathered pages of the book in front of him while Yvaine struggled to keep her eyes open. "What are you reading?"

"No idea, it was just left in the kitchen. I think it's Inej's." Jesper shrugged, obviously not that fussed either way, flicking through the pages with his lips pursued almost boredly as she frowned up at him, twisting her face to try and hide the amusement that had blossomed inside her while she tilted her head the best she could from where she was resting against him comfortably...seriously, if his talents as a sharpshooter goes tits up, he could always try out for being a personal pillow she thought to herself, completely content.

"So you stole it?"

"Borrowed it love, borrowed." He tutted, pressing his index finger against her nose and smirking as it twitched before looking back towards the book, absentmindnessly beginning to play with her tatted curls that constantly stuck out in all directions, nonchalantly trying to smooth them out with his nimble fingers brushing through them, only forcing the sleepy Yvaine closer and closer into falling back into her terrifying unconscious as she yawned again with a grumble, pressing herself closer to the divine warmth of the sharpshooter with a grunt as she finally gave into the urge to close her eyes.

"Read it to me." The shadow summoner ordered quietly, and there was something so strange about this, about all of this, the comfort she felt in another man's bed, the comfort she felt through long hands moving through her messy hair, the comfort she felt from a heart beating just beside her, the thum-thump, thum-thumo ringing in her ear like a lullaby and making her feel safe, like there was no one in the world that could harm her ever again, not Deverous, not her shadows that did more harm than good, not even herself as Jesper laughed, jostling her just slightly as he moved around to glance down.

"I'm halfway through! It's not going to make any sense."

"I can't read dipshit, it wouldn't make any sense anyway." An abrupt silence followed her confession, like the sharpshooter didn't know what to say to that snippet of information, before shrugging his shoulders and deciding that that was a good enough point for him to start reading to her quietly with his voice like silk, warm and ever so soft against her ears as he talked about characters and places and adventures that she only hoped she could dream about as she began to swim in and out of consciousness...but just before she could truly fall asleep, she hugged him towards her just a bit tighter with her arm around his slim waist as she hummed.

"Jesper?...You really are my favourite."

And Yvaine didn't have to open her eyes to see the smile that broke out across his face as he bent his head down to press a soft kiss against her forehead, holding her close as he watched her fall asleep, safe in his arms just like she deserved to be as he finally placed the book down to fully wrap himself around her with a content sigh. "You're my favourite too."

Chapter Text

The shadow summoner was feeling better than she had in a long time, finally having that well needed sleep cuddled into Jesper's side had seemingly fixed all of her problems, well, except the blaring obvious ones. And to the rest of the dregs, actually scratch that, to the rest of Ketterdam as a whole it was plain to see that she was in good spirits, a constant glimmer of mischief in her dark eyes that most were quick to take advantage of, whether that was playing at the tables with her sharpshooter, joining Inej on the roof and almost falling to her death a good few times, or simply doing whatever dirty work Kaz asked for her, she did it all gladly.

She couldn't help but wonder if this was how normal people felt every day, like there was some kind of substance buried deep in her bones that made her legs less heavy, her cheek less gaunt and her gaze less haunted as she practically skipped from place to place, whether it be hiding in the shadows to collect information for Brekker that his wraith couldn't, going on heists and jobs with the rest of the crowd or making sure that the people that had tried to threaten the dregs found their lives cut dreadfully short.

Guilt was hard to come by in Ketterdam, Yvaine had learned that rather quickly, and usually, back then all those years ago she'd be crushed with the thought of morality heavy on her hands, the haunting ghosts of the innocent lives she'd taken constantly on her conscious, hiding in the shadows and waiting for a chance to take her under for her sins...and while those deaths were still present in her fear, killing some rather incompetent criminal who's crimes usually outbested hers by far seemed rather tame, forgettable, even if sometimes she still tossed and turned at night.

But it was because of her rare good mood that her thieving fingers had been more active lately, she couldn't go a single hour without finding her shadows in someone's pocket, dancing over to where she sat or stood and pressing in her palm as her whole body became alight with something resembling adrenaline, like there was a certain thrill strumming through her veins and making her unable to sit still. Sometimes she actually wondered if she was addicted to this, to taking everything she could...because she knew she now had to reason to do so, not with the roof over her head or the bed she lay in most nights.

And yet not even that acknowledgement stopped her as she just kept taking, and when it finally appeared that she was all tucked out, she made her way up the stairs of the Slat quietly with only a few destinations in mind...first she stopped at Jesper's room, placing some of the rather pretty rings she'd slipped from rich fingers into his jewelry box, creeping around in the shadows of his room before leaving...only to do the exact same when she got to Inej's room who was obviously out on a job, placing that rather pretty jewel-incrusted dagger on her bed with a grin.

There was still one gift left, the one she purposely saved for last usually in an effort to avoid catching hint or hide of the boy who boiled her blood, and yet she apparently couldn't  help but take things she knew he'd enjoy as she wandered up the final steps and strolled right on into his room, knowing that he was in some kind of business meeting or something or other. Or at least that's what the sharpshooter had told her when she spotted him upon the tables even though Brekker had banned him for a week for some kind of punishment that he probably deserved.

She rummaged around in her trouser pocket, brows furrowed as she wriggled her hand in there, almost jumping around as she struggled to grab anything, ring-clad fingers that she definitely hadn't borrowed from Jesper making quiet clicking noises as they bumped into whatever piece of expensive jewelry she had hiding away. Her pants were getting a bit tight lately, and she was assuming it had something to do with the fact that she now had access to having a meal per day...and she was more than happy to abuse that privilege as her eyes lost that hollowed look and her cheeks because less gaunt.

It was a strange feeling, not having the sharp pangs of hunger tearing away at her stomach with her every breath, a strange feeling but a welcome one all the same Yvaine thought to herself as she stood there in the silence of the room, fingers finally wrapping around the object of her desires as she yanked it out with a relieved sigh.

It was another watch of some kind, silver with incredible details of ivory swirls twisted around it heavenly and a rather small and delicate engraving, curled and all sorts of perfect written against the back of it. It was pretty, really pretty, and she could see why the woman she'd stolen it from had kept it for all these years even though she hadn't shared her wannabe lovers admiration, though the shadow summoner bet that was like a slap to the face as she fiddled with it, nose slightly scrunched against her face as she wiped away the little sprinkling of chocolate that had melted in her pocket to stick into the crevices.

And once she was sure it was clean, well, as clean as it was going to get she placed it on Brekker's desk slowly, the corner of her lips curling into a ghost of a smile when she noticed that despite the usual mess of documents and papers he constantly left thrown about here and there until there was hardly any room left at all, there was a small space, just near the top that was free from such clutter...other wise known as her designated spot where she usually left his 'gifts' for him to find later on in the evening when he'd come back from a job...a magpie among crows he'd once called her with his rough voice nothing short of mocking.

However, just as she took a step back, foot tapping against the floorboards that squeaked under her weight...the door to his room suddenly opened, swinging open with an ominous creak as she jumped and cursed, heart pounding in her ears but when she spun around with her eyes wide and unblinking, it was to find Kaz strolling in calmly with his cane in gloved hand, hardly even sparing her a glance as he rested it against his wall and began to shrug of the large black coat that had some rather suspicious red stains splattered at the bottom to show his usual assemble of black underneath.

"What do you have for me this time, pick-pocket?"

Yvaine took a breath, trembling palm held over her chest as she took a second or two to calm down, cursing him to every saint and their bastard mothers as she shot him a dark glare, but he just limped passed her like he hadn't seen it, though the slight twitch of his lip begged to differ, long fingers concealed by black leather almost instantly trailing over the watch, probably already counting up the value of such a peace as she shrugged her shoulders idly. "It's some watch that a man gave a woman in an effort to win her favour I'm assuming, especially with the engravings on the back, but it's real silver so I'm guessing it's worth a pretty penny."

"I was under the impression you couldn't read." Kaz replied, voice as rough as it always was, like saltwater to a bloodied wound and bored as he flipped it between his hands, gaze roaming over its every detail like the hungry thief he was as she huffed quietly in some indignation. Honestly, the shadow summoner had no real clue why she told Jesper anything, because by the time the night would inevitably come to a close it was like the whole of the Slat knew her secrets, including, apparently, that she couldn't read a single sentence even if it meant saving her life.

"There's really nothing sacred with you, is it Brekker?"

He didn't answer her of course but that was to be expected considering it wasn't truly a question, it was a factual statement that they both knew was true as Yvaine leant back against the desk, hip digging into the wood to the point it was almost painful as she ignored the glare he sent her, only smirking with her arms crossing over her chest, stubborn as a mule to the point he didn't even try to dislodge her as he dropped his eyes back down to the watch, looking over the engravings, just to find his brows quirking in suprise at what he found there. "You're right pick-pocket, how did you know?"

Sometimes she wondered if he actually ever listened to a word she said, thinning her lips as she looked over towards the papers littering his desk, picking one up and looking it over only to frown as she tried to distinguish the squiggles and lines, but as usual, there was nothing but a headache waiting for her. "I told you, the engravings. When the writing is loppy, y'know, that posh looking writing, uh...cursive right? It's usually romantic, like from a lover, a partner or someone who wants to be a lover. But, when the writing is straight and to the point, it's usually familar in nature...simple process of elimination."

There was a moment where the Brekker boy looked like he was going to say something, staring at her with something on his face that was different than the usual cold looks he gave before he turned away...but her dark gaze was quick to catch the change as she grinned smugly, one side of her mouth lifting up higher than the other to sport her crooked smile that strangely fit her perfectly as she resisted the urge to laugh and point like a child. "Careful there Kaz, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you looked almost impressed."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I mean, I can't blame you obviously...I am pretty impressive. Definitely worth the kruge don't you think?" Yvaine continued as if he hadn't spoken at all, seemingly in the mood for some chaos as she drummed her long fingers against her jaw, feeling the uneven skin of her scar against her fingertips and resisting the urge to wince as it throbbed in some kind of phantom pain, pulsing and hot to the touch as she shrugged away the terrible thoughts that haunted it, suffering from a loneliness that would never truly go away as long as the shadows refused to leave her rotting corpse that still lived despite it all.

"I'm not above hitting you with my cane, darling Shadow, so watch your tone." Kaz's rough voice was once again a welcome distraction as she pulled on that invisible tether to drop herself back into the present, eyes of liquid coal finding his own and holding him prisoner as they glistened with some kind of dangerous mischief, painting her like she was some kind of forgotten god that had been left behind to scorch the earth with shadow and strife, but not knowing how to just yet, and so having to rely on broken pieces of humanity to learn and evolve and take the world for what it owed her.

"If you hit me with that thing I'm going to throw it in the ocean." She replied just as quick, letting go of the pain quickly lest she want it to swallow her whole, focusing on the wood of the deal still dighing into her side which would no doubt bruise, focusing on the sounds of the people down stairs, always loud and hardly ever quiet, focusing hard on the blue of his gaze as he quirked a brow at her with something flashing over him that almost looked like amusement.

"If you throw it in the ocean you're going to buy me another one."

"Bold of you to assume I have kruge."

"Bold of you to assume that you wouldn't find a way to steal it like the little pick-pocket you are." Kaz said with an air of finality, and Yvaine laughed, she couldn't help it even if she tried as she threw her head back and almost whacked it off of the mirror behind her, crooked grin showing its appearance once more as she snorted and giggled as the absurdity of having some kind of battle of wits with Dirtyhands of all people finally registered, and the Brekker boy turned around to look back at the watch that was still held in his gloved grip so she couldn't see the smirk that had twisted his lips.

She laughed for what seemed like ages, to the point there was an ache in her stomach and big fat tears brimming along her waterline, but in reality it was probably for less than half a minute as it slowly began to subside, and she remembered who she was standing with as a sudden tension leeched through the air as she coughed awkwardly, glancing away from him over towards the door before throwing her arm behind her to point towards it. "Well, I should probably get going. Last I checked in the club Jesper was on the tables and-"

"Stay."

The shadow summoner froze, barely even halfway out of the door when Kaz spoke him again, his tone far raspier than it had been earlier, like it was grating against something equally as rough until sparks would form and burn the world whole. But when she looked over her shoulder he wasn't even looking at her, having moved across the room to sort through the documents on his desk as she blinked at him stupidly, opening her mouth as if to ask what but before she even could he continued. "I need your input on our next job, I hope you can read maps at least."

She couldn't...but that didn't stop her from shutting the door silently and wandering back over towards the bastard of the Barrel who moved to the side so she could fit beside him without touching him, a certain glint in her dark eyes that matched his perfectly as she glanced at the squiggles and lines and pictures on the rather old looking piece of paper and did what Yvaine did best...bullshit her way through life until something began to make sense.
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Heading down the busy streets of Ketterdam had become one of Yvaine's favourite pastimes as she moved across the crooked cobblestones that seemed to constantly sway under her feet, glancing around to observe all sorts of things and people and quite content to do so with her hands crossed behind her back and a certain almost cocky skip to her step as she twisted her way through the crowds. There was a strange kind of confidence in her now, something that refused to allow her to hide in the shadows anymore, a strength that pulled at her veins until power was all she could feel as it filled her completely.

Confidence, arrogance, call it what you will, but she'd slowly began to get tired of being afraid of her own shadow, and perhaps that was a blessed thing, perhaps it was a cursed thing...but it was hers to find out all the same what happened when darkness blossomed.

Plus, it probably helped things along that Inej was currently walking by her side, and it was hard to feel intimidated by anything knowing how many knives the girl actually had on her, not including the ones Yvaine didn't even know about as they strolled along the streets, grinning and laughing with each other as the shadow summoner spun some tale about how it turned out that Jesper talked in his sleep, and yes, it was about the things that the wraith had definitely been expecting, guns, gambling and of course, guys and gals that kept the poor girl up at night when she'd inevitably fall into his bed to escape the nightmares that plagued her.

"Do you think Kaz sleeptalks?"

Inej was still smiling when their giggles subsided, glancing up at her with a rare shine of mischief dancing over her pretty face that had the shadow summoner scoffing, mind flashing back to the countless nights she was kept awake by that man's insomnia, to the point where she truly wondered if banging a broom that she knew resided somewhere in the Slat at her roof to make him shut up before she'd start screaming. "I don't even think he sleeps, my room is directly under his and half the time all I hear is him limping around up there. I think at best he just passes out eventually and calls it a nap."

"I think he assumes he gets his rest in while he blinks." The wraith said, going along with the joke with ease and leaning in closer as if it was sone great conspiracy as Yvaine snorted unapologetically, because honestly, with the bag she'd seen under his eyes that managed to rival her own, she wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if he somehow had some kind of magic power that allowed him to do that. One day, she was pretty sure he was going to end up just dropping down dead, at least then he'd actually get some kind of break in.

"Maybe he can sleep with his eyes open, so when he's sitting in the corner of the club looking so intimidating he'd actually just having a nap."

Honestly, she thought that her own interpretation on the demon that was Brekker was pretty funny in truth, and perhaps that's why she felt the cold stirring of embarrassment coil in her stomach when she wasn't gifted with Inej's laughter as she cleared her throat awkwardly...until of course, she glanced to the side where the suli girl had once stood only for air to greet her as she came to an abrupt stop with those emotions clearing away and leaving concern in its wake, spinning around in a circle with confusion plastering it's way across her gullible features at her seeming invisible friend who'd vanished.

And yet, luckily enough for Yvaine, she was blessed with the shadows whispers, their calling towards her leading her away from the busy street...and into a rather dark alleyway where she found Inej with her back against the brick wall stained with all sorts of disgusting things and one of her knives held in her trembling palms, prayers slipping their way through her shaking lips, not even sparing the pick-pocket a glance even though she knew she was there watching her calmly with no hint of pressure...at least, not until she'd collected herself enough to speak.

"There was a man just outside of one of the clubs...he- he was one of-" Inej took a breath, a wounded sounded thing that slashed through the air hauntingly, remembering the bruises, the pain, and the nightmares that followed, not caring to open her eyes in case she'd see his face once more, not wanting to catch another glimpse when just one had made her feel like a knife had slit it's way across her stomach, leaving her inside hanging out to rot in the open air. "He was at the menagerie when I-"

"Okay, okay...what do you want to do?" Yvaine interrupted when it appeared that the wraith could no longer carry on with what she'd been trying to explain, an awful grimace filled with strife and unholy aching twisting her usual strong features that had the pick-pockets heart dropping. She didn't know the extent of what the suli girl had faced in that place, and truthfully, she was pretty sure she didn't want to know, but at the end of the day she was pretty sure she'd do anything for Inej, for Jesper...they only had to say the word.

"I want to kill him. I want to- but I...I don't think I can, not now."

There was alot of times when the shadow summoner admired Inej, like that she could somehow remain merciful when she had every right to be cruel, her strength, her kindness, even something as simple as her smile...and even now, she couldn't help but be in awe of her, in awe of her absolute faith that she refused to break, even to help her kill one of her monsters thought it seemed to kill her to do so. And yet, luckily for her...Yvaine had no such faith, no such mercy as she looked down at her friend and held her gaze, a strange seriousness settling upon her face that looked all sorts of wrong. "Then let me do it for you."

She looked up sharply, lips opening to breathlessly form her name in shock, but the pick pocket only smiled with something sad shining in her dark eyes of liquid shadow, something promising and dark. "I didn't kill my monster, Inej, but perhaps I can help you to kill some of yours." She swore...and then something passed over the wraith's eyes as she nodded in determination.

It was easy to make the man follow her into the alleyway, all it had taken was a flutter of her long lashes and a flash of her cleavage for him to be practically falling over himself chasing after a girl that was far too young for such advances...not that he cared obviously, and how ironic was it that that would be his inevitable downfall as Yvaine led him futher and further into an alleyway, away from anyone who'd witness a true monstrosity...even when she was pinned to the wall by his grubby hands and wheezing breath, she only continued to look at him with vile indifference.

Some days, she was sure she could of been good, perhaps she would of smiled alot easier, perhaps she would of found away to use her talents for good, perhaps she could of found a home, a family, a chance...But instead she was what Inej could never be, a monster torn apart by awful intentions, and when cruelty had been bestowed upon her by men who thought they could rule over her like they did the world, she showed many of them what happened when she wasn't loved but feared. She once had a soul she was sure, she'd once been good she was sure, but now she was a tragedy that would tear out pity through bloodstained teeth.

The saints should of made girls lethal when they made monsters of men...because maybe then, Yvaine wouldn't of had to become worse than the lot of them as the shadows answered her vengeful will and began to bleed out of her at the seams.

His leechful smile dropped just as her own rose as he let go of her, something awful transforming her face darkly, the darkness around her rising, consuming the both of them until there was nothing light left as the man, no, her fellow monster began to run away in absolute terror at seeing a mere glimpse of raw power...right into the wraith who stood at the entrance of the alleyway, with no hint of mercy in her eyes...not even when the shadows finally lashed out and hooked into the sides of his tearful cheeks as he screamed and garbled to tear his body into two...right down the middle as blood splayed across the pavement grotesquely.

If it were anyone else watching her, Yvaine might of drawn it out even longer, made it even more painful and terrible, allowed herself to lose herself into her own darkness and let destruction take her place...but she knew Inej, at least knew her enough that she doubted the suli girl would of been able to stomach more than thirty seconds of watching the painful display filled with his agonized howls...and at least now the saints and the gods would judge him as they see fit, and she could only pray that he burned.

The shadows dispersed, falling back into their crevices as the pick pocket took a well needed breath, beyond exhausted as a certain ache filled her bones that assured her she'd have a restless sleep that same night...and then she felt herself freezing when she blinked barely even once and then Inej was suddenly standing in front of her silently, staring at her like it was the first time all over again, filling her with terrible unease, waiting for that fear, that disgust to transform her features...only to watch as she smiled, a breathtaking smile that truly was good as she moved her hands to clutch onto Yvaine's tightly.

"I always did wonder how you knew where I was while I hid...it's nice to see that even before we met, we were bonded in shadows." Inej said softly, holding firm, holding tight as she watched the pick-pocket physically sag in on herself in relief at her lack of fear, a laugh slipping out from her trembling lips as she soon joined her...the two simply happy, content as they laughed with each other in the safety of their own company.

But the problem was with moments like that...was that fate could change it in a second, could conspire against such things alongside destiny and hope, because cruelty was all it knew, all that they all knew, and it left the earths inhabitants to pay the price for their misery.

The shadows began to whisper once more, stronger now, calling out to her, warning her as her hands went slack in the suli girls grateful grip...but it was already too late for her to do anything about it, because seemingly out of nowhere she was suddenly grabbed and ripped away from the wraith, her destructive hands, her weapons, her saviours stained with sin forced behind her back in some vile grip as she struggled and kicked and screamed viciously with her eyes wild and dangerous, looking back over towards her friend only to see her suffering the safe fate which made her fight that much harder.

But Yvaine knew that she was next to useless without her shadows as she felt them mounting around her, protesting and hateful but unable to do anything without her direction, and just as she swore and spat, wondering how the hell these bastard men knew how to catch her at a weakness...a familiar face strolled out through the darkness and glared at her darkly causing her to scoff, stilling in place as her heart skipped a beat, allowing terror to flood into her veins as things went from bad to even worse.

Especially when he strolled up to her, pulled his fist back and then drove it into her stomach, forcing the breath from her lungs as she wheezed and collapsed to her knees with a weak groan, a hacking cough slipping from her lips as agony wreaked havoc upon her mortal corpse, a broken sob catching in her throat as she tried to keep calm, keep herself ready because where Bronn was...Deverous probably wasn't too far behind. She should of known, she should of known that happiness was never in her grasp, and she should of remembered what happened when fate cast its wicked gaze upon her hope...it destroyed it, every single time.

"Where's my brother, little bird?"

Saints, and she thought Brekker's voice was rough. It sounded like the old bastard had just been inhaling smoke and whiskey since the day he clawed his way out of his poor mothers cunt, almost as vile as the man those words belonged to...but Yvaine knew better, especially when her gaze wandered up to him to see the large, pulsing black scar that lay across his neck, a parting gift for the man who took pleasure in chaining her up every night, just like the one which matched his brother Lowell as she grinned dangerously. "The same place all maggots like him go...six feet underground to rot."

The next punch still hurt even though she'd been expecting it, a sharp cry slicing it's way through the air as she tried to hunch over, ribs screaming in protest as blood began to gather in her mouth and filling it with her own morality, her shoulders shaking with the sudden grief and terror being placed upon them, but still, Yvaine was many things...but someone who knew when to give up was not one of them as she finally lifted her head back up, matched his scowl, and then spat a mouthful of blood directly in his face as he yelled out, scrubbing it away with his sleeve before raising his fist once more.

"Enough now, Bronn...you know I don't like it when you dirty up her pretty little face."

She froze at the voice that came from the shadows, going as still as prey finally catching sight of a predator, her blood turning to ice as her whole body gave a sudden tremble before she began to struggle harder, horrified whimpers escaping as sweat gather around her forehead, a burn in her throat and fear in her veins because she knew that voice, she hated that voice, but most of all she hated what that voice made her do as a scream began to claw it's way out of her bleeding chest, the agonies he'd caused her running dry as darkness flickered and overpowered what was once light.

Deverous came forward sickening slow, footsteps echoing in the alleyway, each one louder and more painful than the last as she squirmed and sobbed, unable to tear her eyes away, unable to do anything but cry like she was a pathetic child once more who'd begged for protection, for basic human decency that he swore she didn't deserve as he smiled down at her lovingly, twisted face that she once thought of as kind and handsome now only monstrous and mocking that made disgust fester inside her empty stomach that rolled with nausea.

"Hello my love."

"I'm not your fucking anything." The shadow summoner howled, lunging towards him and sounding far stronger than she felt as the man behind her twisted her wrist until it began to crack which sent her screaming in agony, still refusing to stop moving, trying desperately to kick at everything at anything in an effort to keep them all far away from her with a terrible anger, a terrible suffering rage that only grew brighter and brighter like ash to fire...but the fight for her freedom died as quickly as it had passed her as she heard the sound of a pistol cocking, and she turned her head sharply to see said pistol pressed against the side of Inej's head who was pale and trembling...but unwavering as ever as she met her gaze evenly.

"Let her go...she's got nothing to do with this." Yvaine said quietly, letting go of her pride just as quickly as it had come through, of her mock confidence as she looked back over to Deverous desperately, trying not to be sick or to choke on the gag that wanted to slip out as he frowned sadly, falsely, cupping her face with his dirty hand that brought awful memories to the surface of pain and humiliation, his thumb swiping over the vile scar that tore at her face under his own orders that he hated and desired all in the same breath.

"Oh, but I can't have that now, can I? She's already seen too much...then again, I suppose you could always use some company in your cage, hm? Would you like that?" He asked as if it mattered to him what she wanted, but the moment he mentioned that vile thing that stole her sanity, stole her every chance at being good or human she lunged forward, teeth snapping and almost closing in on the skin of his nose before he quickly moved away, knowing that if he gave her another chance to do so...she'd tear it off like she'd done to another of his men before as she hissed and snarled like a rabid animal.

"Don't you fucking dare touch her."

"Well then...death it is." Deverous glanced down at his suit, brushing off some kind of imaginary dirt with a wicked gleam in his eye as she cursed and screamed at him, fear seizing hold of her every rational thought as he turned around and stalked over towards Inej who didn't even flinch, only tilted her chin up, seemingly ready to face death head on...but the shadow summoner wasn't ready for the girl to face that fate, and closing her eyes for a moment, begging to the saints that the wraith believed in, that they'd forgive her sins when she met them sooner rather than later.

"Wait."

The air wound tight, tension raised and heavy all around them as he slowly turned to look towards her, grinning with teeth that seemed too sharp to be human as she tried not to look as scared as she felt but failing miserably as her bottom lip trembled and her dark eyes began to ache with unurshed tears. She thought she had more time, she thought she had a chance, she hoped...well, she hoped, and she supposed that was the problem in the first place as her shoulders sagged and she became completely and utterly numb to the world around her. "If you let her go...I'll come with you, I won't fight, I won't kill...I'll be your perfect little shadow but only if you let her go."

For a minute, she wasn't sure he'd take the offer as he stared at her silently, barely even a change of expression, just staring into the very ruined pit of damnation she called a soul before he glanced over towards the man holding Inej with a smirk that made her skin crawl. "You heard her...let the suli whore go."

As soon as she was free, the wraith almost fell as she swayed, looking like the very ghost her name resonated from as she floated above herself, the memories of hands upon her flesh that took and took and took with the overwhelming stench of the menagerie overpowering her completely...until her gaze happened upon Yvaine's and she remembered where she was, her shaking hand creeping over towards her waist where Sankta Margaretha, her knife gifted to her by the shadow summoner lay...but the girl only shook her head gravely with a teary smile. "Go, Inej...I'll be okay."

There was no chance the two were getting out of there alive if they fought their way through them, not with Yvaine's hands held back, not with her being controlled by her anguish and grief...and so with one last look, the wraith disappeared up onto the room quickly as her shoulders slumped once more in relief, a weight lifting off of her chest now that her friend was no longer in danger...but then Deverous began laughing loudly, manically, like he'd heard the greatest joke in the world as he staggered over towards her and gripped her face roughly as she glared back at him.

"So predictable, my love. Always trying to look for love in places where it doesn't exist...tell me, did you enjoy being Brekker's whore? Enjoy being his thief? His killer?"

She froze, dark brows furrowing and her blood going cold as his questions registered inside her mind, wondering how he knew where she'd been, how he'd known who she'd been with as something foul began to bubble in her gut as she looked up slowly, skin beginning to bruise under his merciless fingers...and found her answer in his awful and hungry grinning eyes that made the pain ten times worse. How could she of been so stupid? And how could she not of seen that there truly was no hope in the world for a monster like her? Betrayal was a brutal teacher...but you'd learn, by the saints how you'd learn.

"I got tired of waiting for Dirtyhands to deliver on his promise...thinking of what he'd have you do, enjoying your talents, your body, your perfect hands before giving you back to me like our deal entailed...after all...no alliance is worth being apart from my little shadow-bird for so long."

But that still didn't mean that betrayal didn't hurt.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

"Why are you even here? I'm not naive enough to believe you've had a change of heart, you'd actually have to have one of those." She hummed mockingly, grinning through the pain and the overwhelming hopelessness, looking as the way the muscles in his jaw twitched, his dark eyes glancing over for half a second to Jesper who looked close to tears as he moved closer and closer with every passing moment like she couldn't see him doing so, before she decided that she just didn't care as she looked back over to Dirtyhands and chuckled, tongue licking over her teeth like a wild animal about to tear out its preys throat.

"Oh, I know...Deverous didn't pay you did he? I can't say I'm suprised honestly, I could of told you he wouldn't stick to his deal, he never does...well, he never did."

The shadow summoner laughed again, and in the back of her mind she could hear how unhinged it sounded, the way it bubbled from her chest wetly, the way it seemed more of a cackle than anything else as blood stained her mouth and dripped down the contours of her chin, dancing down her neck and further down...where Kaz finally caught sight of her collarbone sticking out of her skin in broken splinters, bloodied and piercing and followed by the way his sharpshooter began to gag it was obvious he wasn't the only one who noticed...but all Yvaine did was stare at him, and he couldn't force himself away from her empty gaze.

"Enough now, pick-pocket-"

But she wasn't done talking, though at this point it was more to herself in some delusion, even though she could feel herself getting weaker with every whispered word that threatened to choke her on the ashes of her own devastation, could feel the way her body seemed to lull and falter as if the fiery gates of eternal damnation were finally calling her to home as she continued to chuckle that sounded more like a sob as she gestured around herself wildly. "I mean, who else would know better than I? He promised me safety, he promised me protection, he promised me love...does this look like love to you?"

Saints, she sounded insane, could feel it clawing at her, brimming around the surface of her being, she'd spent so many nights in her dull and lonely younger years dreaming of spilling her blood with only the moonlight to bare witness, slipping out of her bones and slithering into the soul of someone else, someone good, someone loved, someone that had never held the burden of trying to survive or held onto to a monstrous darkness that only craved one thing as it battled against her longing that wailed through the night...and now years later here she lay, bleeding and as forgotten as she ever was.

Nothing had changed while everything had changed, and the bitter truth that she was still learning to swallow was that Yvaine was never meant to last, to be loved, to be anything more than her shadows...She truly was, and always would be nothing more than darkness made flesh and she was a fool to ever think differently.

A groan slipped through her lips without her permission as she slumped futher against the wall, her breath forcing it's way from her lungs in panted gasps as she withered in pure agony, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt exhaustion creeping up on her, promising her peace in its consuming embrace that was filled with sweet lies, but she didn't care, not anymore, didn't care about staying alive out of pure spite to the world that had wanted her to succumb to it, because it had finally broken her...and all it needed to do was give her the false hope of meaning something to someone only to find out it was all just a cruel joke.

"C'mon, gorgeous. Don't close your eyes, stay awake please-" Jesper finally broke, pushing past Inej with his gaze blurred with tears but his face set in determination, because the shadow summoner, Yvaine, his friend could hate him all she wished, all she wanted, but he was going to make sure she was alive to do so. But just as his fingers were about to brush over her skin, the earth seemed to shake as darkness slipped around them, driving up from the ground in thick spikes that flickered but remained sturdy, forming a protective sphere around her as they all forced to stagger back to make sure they weren't impaled.

She glared at them, all silver and bite entrapped with venom and shadow...standing finally of shaking legs that carried her grief and threatened to give out at any moment, but her spite, her anger was stronger than her pain as she gripped onto the bloodstained wall and felt even more of her red sin spill down her bronze arm that had paled to the point she could barely recognise the colour of her skin as she looked over to the murder of crows with a snarl upon her lips and hatred under her skin.

"Look at what happened to the last person that hurt me, and look well...and don't fucking think that just because I haven't killed you yet, I won't stain my hands with your blood too."

Yvaine sounded far more confident than she felt, trying to take deep breaths that only made her chest ache and seeing the dark spots dance across her vision, she could hear them talking once more...no doubt Inej and Jesper trying to refer to her dwindling humanity while Dirtyhands attempted to make her see sense in his hunger for greed...but she was done with them, done with it all, with everything, perhaps even life itself as she pulled at her shadows once more, idly wondering if it would be the last time, before she pushed it out and allowed the darkness to blind them, heading their curses, their grunts, and Brekker's sharp snarl of her name as she limped away.

Her legs were practically dead weight, each step feeling like she was being yanked to the floor as she desperately grabbed at the walls, bursting through the doors of the mansion and wandering aimlessly into an alleyway, gasping for breath as her fingers uselessly gripped the crooked and broken bricks that made her fingers sting as the skin broke...but on the grand scheme of things, it was the least of her problems as she trembled and sobbed, just wanting to move but unable to do so without agonising pain tearing at her.

And finally, it all grew too much as she succumbed to her ruin, stumbling down to her knees and unable to get herself back up as she lay in a dark corner, hearing the rough accent of Kerch just a few mere feet in front of her, knowing they were so close and yet so far as she lowered her head to the floor, her shadows stretching over her in a mocking embrace of warmth, hooking into her skin, pulling her closer as her breath slowed and eyes grew heavy...and then the last thing she heard was strangely familar wobbling footsteps moving towards her, before everything went black.
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The shadow summoner awoke to something wet and warm dragging across her face, almost slipping into her open mouth as she choked on the snore that had been escaping bruised lips, jerking back into the land of the living as she coughed and sputtered only to find her body erupting in agony by the sudden movement of her trying to simply sit up to try and figure out where she was as her gaze swam and blurred, like she was looking through thick stained glass and barely able to pick put the slightest detail of her surroundings.

But then, slowly but surely, she began to recognise some things, recognise what she could feel and smell and hear around her such as the soft sheets under her, lovingly sinking into her skin that was so used to cruelty and roughness, alongside that familar scent of warm vanilla in the air, fighting against the usual pungent smoke of rot from Ketterdam and winning by some sheer force of will and stubbornness...and then her vision flickered, and she realized just what had been touching her as she looked at the familar sight of Dirtypaws panting at her, long pink tongue hanging out of his mouth as he whined.

"Nice to see you've joined us, dearie, the poor dear has been whimpering ever since we found you."

She looked up sharply at the voice, wincing as the painful lurch that coiled in her body...where she found Mrs. Vallel staring down at her gently, a tray in her weathered hands and a small smile curling over her sympathetic features, and Yvaine didn't last another moment before she began to sob loudly, lip wobbling as she heaved and bubbled in relief, in betrayal, in agony and in grief...crying for the girl she was, the girl she lost, crying because her villain was finally dead and turned to dust, crying because someone had remembered her, crying because she could because she was alive.

"There there, you're alright, just cry it all out and then you can eat your porridge, extra sugar, just how you like it." The innkeeper hushed, placing the tray on the bedside table and then sitting on the side of the bed, patting her thigh softly as Yvaine continued to whimper, seemingly just content to sit there and be some kind of pillar of support to the girl who had been through so much in her short lifetime that would have lesser beings delving into insanities cruel hold and never leaving. However, eventually, her tears dried, and all that was left was the occasional sniffle as the shadow summoner leaned back against the bed post in exhaustion.

She felt safe, comfortable, warm...and though there was still an awful caution, an awful fear brewing inside of her that felt stronger than ever, not daring to hope that for a minute she was something to be cared for, she couldn't help the way her shoulder seemed to finally slump down from carrying the weight of empty words and empty promises, watching as the older woman began to stir honey in the tea, swirling it with a spoon to make sure it was even all the while humming a tune under her breath. "How did you find me? How did I even get here?"

Mrs. Vallel smiled thinly, placing the cup back down and then began to fidget with something else on the plate as if desperate to keep her hands busy and her gaze from lingering at the emptiness of a void in front of her who had never looked so human or fragile, so different from the girl who had commanded the shadows to save her life like it was easier than taking a simple breath. "Well, you missed teatime dearie, so I took a stroll through the Barrel to try and find you...and find you I did, you poor thing. You looked half dead, I had to pay a nice gentleman to carry you back here so I could fix you right up."

"How long have I been-"

"Just a few days, thankfully you've slept through them all, I hated to imagine your reaction when I had to set your collarbone back in place, I was feeling rather queasy about it myself."

And it was at the innkeepers words that Yvaine felt herself flinch in on herself, a muscle in her jaw twitching as the memories rushed to the surface to assault her, remembering her screams, the pain, the torture she'd had to endure again because she'd placed her trust in greedy hands and expected- well, what had she expected exactly? Not even she knew for sure, but in the end she did know one thing...and that was the bitter truth that Deverous had been right about one thing, something that had almost been her complete and utter ruin, and that was that she was always looking for love in places it didn't exist and the crows had been no different.

Absentmindnessly, she lifted her bandaged hand that ached to brush over her chest, expecting to find a haunting scab, a crooked bone that wouldn't ever heal right sunken into her skin like another memory of devastation...but she couldn't feel anything, and when she looked down to where the bone had splintered through her flesh, there was nothing there but a small scar barely larger than her pinky finger...but that wasn't possible, it couldn't of been, it shouldn't of even been healed in the first place, and with that knowledge in her maimed mind, she slowly glanced up to her innkeeper with a certain accusation on her features.

But Mrs. Vallel only chuckled quietly, a gentle sound that washed over her like an embrace as she finally, finally looked down at the young girl with a strangely misty look in her kind gaze, before she lifted her weathered hand and danced it across her bronze skin where the flesh had once been split through callous palms. "Oh, you didn't think that you were the only one with a few tricks up your sleeve, did you dearie?"

For a moment, Yvaine truly had no clue what she was talking about, placing all of her energy that dwindled by the moment into not flinching away from her as she tensed and held her breath as the shadows flickered and cooed, unconsciously awaiting a blow that would never come...because heat had suddenly washed over her, a perfectly natural unnatural heat that she couldn't describe quite right as it settled inside her mortal corpse and breathed new life into her until she felt like she could take whatever fate had to offer her once more, and then realization dawned upon her like a bucket of ice. "Saints...you're a healer."

How could she not of noticed? How could she of not seen? How the old woman never seemed to slip or fall, never seemed to burn herself when she'd pull the tray of cookies from the stove and forget to put gloves on, the way her bruises from Lowell had healed in a few mere days. Had Yvaine really been that blind? Had she really never looked over her own bloody turmoil filled with ash and death and shadow to see she wasn't alone as she thought she was?

"I was, yes, a long time ago when I used to- " Mrs. Vallel spoke quietly before cutting herself off, taking a breath that she held for a minute, her ancient eyes closing in something akin to frustration, of grief and then quickly gaining composure, clearing her throat to pat the young girls thigh with a comforting smile that bloomed like a flower. "Well, it doesn't really matter now, I thought I was done with such things but it seems that I'm not quite yet, not with you causing enough trouble to age me at least ten years."

She laughed, she couldn't help it, and it felt good, it felt freeing as she rested her head against the headboard behind her, just laughing and laughing until her stomach ached and her jaw hurt, and it was only then that she calmed, looking back over to the innkeeper with her gaze of liquid shadow filled with unurshed tears that they both knew wasn't just from the laughing fit that had struck her, and then, with another pat upon her thigh, the old woman stretched over to the bedside table to grab her the tea and placed it in her strangely numb hands...oh, her hands.

Yvaine froze, staring down at the stained bandages that looked far darker than the red sin of blood, flickering over the way the bonding stretched from her elbow to the tips of her fingers, completely and utterly hidden from view as she tensed them unconsciously, and even though they moved, they twitched just like she wanted them too...there was no feeling there, she couldn't feel the agony from the torn off skin, couldn't feel the tingle in her veins when her power would rush to the surface and bend to her will, there was just nothing, like a phantom limb but still attached to her but only through bone.

Her bottom lip wobbled, trying so hard just to feel something there, feeling the shadows as they began to brush over her ankles in comfort but she could barely notice because why couldn't she fucking feel her hands? But then, then the innkeeper sighed, a quiet sound filled with regret, with pity, such things that the pick pocket tore oupt with blood-stained teeth as she looked up sharply and glared. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice until you ate something...I did all I could for them, dearie. Honestly, I did...but it seemed that something else took hold before I could even try."

And, with one more sympathetic glance, Mrs. Vallel leaned over, taking the cup out of her sickeningly numb hands and began to slowly unwind the bandages that hid her skin from view, every moment feeling like it was stretching eons...and she wanted to ask her to stop, beg her to stop before she pushed too far and fell of the edge of salvation, not knowing what she'd see and scared of what would greet her, would her flesh be ripped to reveal nothing but a dark void underneath her skin? Would she find herself tainted from her monstrous abomination that had slaughtered men for her fickle vengeance?

The questions kept coming until the bandages were finally pulled down to rest against the blanket as she watched them closely, her face blank and eyes empty as more and more of her skin came into view with a sob choking it's way into her throat that she refused to let slip...because now? Now her hands were truly, physically stained with shadow just like they always had been, only now the whole world could see the evidence of her desolate ruin...her salvation, her destruction...finally visible to everyone else.

Chapter Text

But Yvaine knew just what she was going to take with her when she left the city of rot and blood stained unholy grounds. Because there was a few advantages to sitting around all day, with only your senses to keep you company, you saw things you'd never usually see...the cracks in the floorboards, the small drag marks off of where dirtypaws claws had scratched the wood. You could smell the warm vanilla in the air that the innkeeper constantly cooked to battle the stretch that seemed to constantly stick to the air...but most of all, she could hear things she'd never usually pay attention too.

Some of it was mere gossip that she'd hear from her open window when people would walk past, little things like someone's sister was sleeping with someone else's husband and that now she was pregnant and wanted him to leave his wife for her...and the shadow summoner would be lying if she said she didn't want to know what that turned out.

Yet there was other things too, little snippets she could hear whispered when people thought they were alone with the comfort of the shadows to just bare witness, not knowing that they bowed and answered to her...and such a time was when she heard that rather mouth watering rumours about something precious being transported across the terrible sea to one of the large mansions that were always bursting full of rich bastards wanting to one up each other like it was all a game, wasting their lives searching for affirmation that they probably didn't get from their parents.

A diamond. Most specifically a black diamond, almost as it it were made for her, for her thriving fingers now truly stained with sin and shadow and wasn't it just perfect? She had a plan, of course she did, she didn't have Brekker's intelligence for schemes that much she could admit...but she had very serious doubt that the mansion was prepared to deal with a shadow summoner who had lost all semblance of laying low or morals, because her need for survival was much more prominent now, and she was going to do whatever she could to get it.

But for now, all she had to do was wait for night to fall, when her darkness was strongest, more violent and cruel as it festered around her like rot...and then she was going to be gone from Ketterdam like a mocking phantom before the world could even say boo.
________________________________________________

Her shadows were singing at her like a mocking lullaby, wrapping her up in their sinful embrace as she danced from corner to corner of the large looming mansion like some kind of ghost, her dark eyes constantly flickering, searching over the numerous guards stalking the place like ravenous beasts hunting for blood, two lingering at the door that she definitely had to be in with their hands pulled taunt around their guns, no doubt on edge knowing they were holding precious cargo that had thieves like her salivating at the mouth at the thought of riches.

But she very much doubted that any of them were truly prepared, not for like likes of her. It's funny, she'd once convinced herself that the darkness was necessary, that it was the only way to survive with bared teeth and crippling rage, it had consumed her completely, her mind, her body, her soul. She had let that power grow, let it in, let it wind around her mortal corpse and seep up into her eyes darker than the night sky and far more violent and vicious...she'd convinced herself that she wasn't the monster, that it was just the shadows, her shadows, that controlled her just as she controlled them in a mutual kind of haunting.

And yet she knew the truth now, couldn't lie to herself any longer that she didn't enjoy the rest of the masses screams, the fear in their gazes when they'd look at something that wasn't right or good, that was completely and utterly consumed by vile intentions with a taste of blood on her craving and ever hungry tongue.

So, when Yvaine stepped out from her shadows and forced them to bend to her will with trembled stained hands wrapped in bloodied bandages, forcing them to twist into terrible sharp points that were plunged into the guards necks before they could even shout, she didn't feel bad, she just felt numb to the violence that had followed her since the moment fate spat her out to take the world by storm as she strolled across the marble floor, red crimson sinking into the cracks like an ominous river of blood, squelching against her boots as she walked past their corpses without so much as a backward glance of pity.

After all, they should of known better to stand between her and something she wanted.

Her fingers brushed over the door knob, trying not to flinch when the feeling of nothing greeted her, not even the cold brush of metal against flesh as she pushed it open, stepped forward and then shut it behind her, bathed in the warm amber glow of the candles around the room like an ethereal saint as she grinned...only for that expression to drop at the sound and sight of something swinging towards her face, cutting through the air like a whip, but thankfully, she was faster as she ducked out of the way, throwing herself across the floor and rolling to a stop, her shadows flickering, raising, ready to wreak havoc.

But when she recognised the cold eyes full of callousness and spite, she allowed the darkness to sink back into her skin with an disgusted grimace drifting across her face, looking upon Kaz Brekker with nothing but contempt in her gaze of wicked sin. "Swing for me again, Brekker, and I'll have your head rolling faster than you can say traitor."

"Now now, pick-pocket...let's not let our emotions get the best of us." Dirtyhands tutted under his breath mockingly, running a gloved hand through his hair to push the dark strands back into his vile composure, watching her with ease, with careless nonchalance, as if not believing the girl he'd blackmailed those many months ago would stomach his death, all for the sake of affection that had dried up like a desert and left only rage in its wake. What was once mercy, what was once kindness was long gone now, she didn't think she had a shred of it left inside her...especially not for him.

"Oh, you'll know when my emotions have taken over. The whole world will." Yvaine whispered darkly, glaring at the way his thin lips seemed to twitch for half a second as if amused by her promise, and saints how she wanted to wipe that look from his features, how she wanted to wrap her bandaged hands around his neck and throttle him until he was blue and lifeless in her grip, but instead, she just scowled at him, crossing her arms over her chest as her shadows danced by her feet. "You don't look suprised at all that I'm alive...let me guess, Inej?"

"Jesper actually, the wraith has just been spying on you occasionally of course...however, neither have tried to get in to your room...considering the first time they tried your innkeeper put a gun to their head."

She didn't know that, she didn't even know they'd come by considering Mrs. Vallel seemed pretty content on keeping her safe and warm in the bed she'd made, practically fretting over her like some kind of apparently deadly grandmother who wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, and she tried not to let the suprise show on her features as he took a step towards her, still staring him down warily as he let out a chuckle that was nothing short of cold and cruel. "You seem to have that affect on people, don't you, pick-pocket?"

"It obviously didn't work on you." Yvaine said tightly, scratching at the scar on her jaw to keep her disgusting hands busy to not delve them into her shadows and let them wreak havoc upon him as he watched her, and then, finally, she exploded, laughing a painful and wounded sounding laugh, scrubbing at her face as if this was all a dream that she'd wake up from. "I- saints, I told you what Deverous did to me, you'd seen the scars, heard my nightmares, seen the way I had been completely ruined by him from the inside out and...and you just let him take me and I don't even know why I'm suprised. I saved your fucking life-"

"I'm aware of what you did." He interrupted her coldly, clenching his gloved hand over his cane until she could practically hear the leather creaking as it was placed under strain, and she honestly debated throwing herself across the short distance between them and swinging for him, thinking that her bare hands against him would feel so much more satisfactory than her shadows, however, she as she was about to say fuck it and run at him, he spoke up once more, his voice rough and dare she say...awkward? "And that's why I had a plan...there was rumours of a tailor around the East Stave, I didn't have a chance to look into it before Deverous took you."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"Don't be stupid now, darling shadow. I'd hate to have to repeat myself." Which to Yvaine, didn't exactly make a lot of sense as she continued to glare at him, confusion battling against rage as it tipped back and forth against the scales of it all exploding out of her...before she registered what he was implying ever so slowly as her mouth opened and closed, trying to find the right words to say that didn't sound stupid. Because she knew that a tailor, a grisha tailor specifically only had one real talent, and least that's what she assumed...and that was their ability to change your features as if it were a simple painting to an artists vision.

"You were going to make them tailor someone else to look like me?-"

"-And then I was going to kill them, send their rotting corpse disguised as you back to Deverous, say you stole from the Black tips and kill two birds with one stone and watch them fight a war neither would win...allowing me to take their territory." Kaz uttered carelessly ever the opportunist in the art of being a bastard, picking some imaginary dust from his dark sleeve while the shadow summoner was having some kind of existential crisis, hating the fact that that was actually a good plan, and hating the fact that it was him that had thought of it and not her.

But still, she refused to show any change of expression, refused to be stripped naked of her defences once more, to be caught in her longing for the thought of someone wanting her, a place to call home with her desire for permanence carving her hollow and foolish, because the last time that had happened she'd been ruined so completely that the physical scars would never even brush the surface of her mental ones, her whole being changed, stained with vile intentions and taking her innocence with it. "And if the rumours were wrong? If there wasn't a tailor?"

"Then I'd find something else."

"How could I believe you? Why would I believe you?" And there was some part of her, deep inside where everything else she buried lingered, hidden with strife, with rage and hate that was desperate for him to give her a reason, give her a reason to stay in Ketterdam, stay with him, with Jesper and Inej because she had never felt more like herself then when she was with them, that she wanted them to crave the darkness that she was, all satin and black silk with her sharp teeth at their throats with only her love for them to keep them afloat because she just desperately wanted, wanted everything and nothing all in the sane breath.

However, she didn't exactly have alot of hope for such matters, because as Deverous had told her many times...she was nothing more than shadow made flesh. And then Kaz reached into his pocket, and pulled out the onyx diamond that she'd come for, that promised riches, staring down at it with that greedy look on his dark features, before he threw it through the air, into her awaiting hands as she caught his gaze, staring at him in some kind of startled suprise with a question upon her lips.

"Your dept is paid off, you're free to go wherever you wish, pick-pocket...and your secret will remain yours, it will never be whispered from the Crows lips." Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel who was completely and utterly without conscience had pretty much handed over her freedom like it was a promise, not tearing his eyes away from hers...but before she could say something, before she could say anything, there was a startled shout from outside, a horrible sounding thing like it was torn from someone's chest, and then there was soon a chorus that followed after it, alongside pounding footsteps, heading straight for them.

"Guards?"

"Guards. Move, move." Kaz snarled and he didn't have to tell her twice, as they both hit the ground running with her in front, throwing herself out of the window onto the large balcony connecting the whole of the second floor just below them, hearing a rather reassuring grunt behind her that he was still following after, somehow managing to keep up with her, even with his limp, but she'd barely taken another step, only to have someone colliding with her, someone who she recognized instantly by the way they cursed as she yanked him up before he could fall over the edge as he stared up at her, wide-eyed and confused.

"Yvaine? What are you doing here?-"

"Really not the time, Jesper. Move it!" The shadow summoner hissed, looking up just in time to see a pistol pointing down at them from the window and managing to pull the two of them back just in time with a whimper. How the fuck did she get here again? Pulled back into their schemes like she'd never even left? And more importantly...why was she enjoying it so much as she quickly pulled the Zemeni boy to run alongside her with a feral grin, kicking the door that lead out into the balcony open and swiftly pulling them all inside, almost falling over the marble floors that were way too shiny for her clumsy feet.

And saints, it was easy to remember how much she truly did enjoy being with them as her shadows whispered to her, warning her of the presence coming up behind them as Inej dropped from the rafters, throwing a knife like it was a deadly dance in her bronze fingertips that sailed through the air and cut through the precious wood of a bookshelf that tumbled down, blocking the way for the guards that had been chasing after them as Yvaine giggled to herself, stumbling down the stairs with the rest of the crows who themselves were looking rather eccentric.

They all finally, finally managed to navigate their way out with limbs still miraculously in tact, their breaths gasping pants, sucking in the precious oxygen greedily as their hands all lingered over their respective weapons, waiting for their escape to be cut short as Kaz looked around frantically, mind that was cursed with criminal intelligence working a mile per minute as he tried to figure a way out...and then his eyes landed upon a carriage, the horses nervously pawing at the ground as if they could feel his intense schemes as he stepped towards it, his pale lips twitching in a satisfied smirk of arrogance.

But then the sound of a gunshot struck through the air like lightning, aiming straight for Brekker like the ever tempting hands of fate had finally cut his string loose, for his luck to finally run out...only that didn't happen.

Because Kaz felt the breath leave his lungs as something suddenly barrled into his side, forcing him to the ground as his leg gave way, erupting in agony as the old wound throbbed with the vile phantom pain that followed him like an haunting ghost as he bared his teeth, gloved hand reaching down just in time to catch himself before he turned around, a sharp look in his eyes harder than steel to see Yvaine standing where he had been moments ago, watching as the shadows bent to her will like a forgotten god, slicing through the air with a clean whip of noise and cutting the guard that had tried to shoot him in two halves.

It had been Jesper who shockingly broke the silence as he let out a startled laugh, obviously in awe of raw power when he'd seen a mere glimpse of it, complimenting her on the incredible shot as he cheered and grinned while the wraith thanked her saints...but the Brekker boy couldn't tear his gaze away from hers of wicked shadow, looking at the way she'd paled, the way her lips trembled, the confusion and fear upon her features as she blinked at him...before they both followed her eyes down to what was once her white shirt, blotching through the material of her stomach like red sin.

"Oh."

And behind her, the shadows began to rise once more, but there was something darker about them, more ominous, more threatening as they hooked over her flesh and let blood swell underneath their grip...getting ready to swallow her whole. But then, it was Kaz stood on trembling legs, not giving himself a chance to hesitate, to pause or to linger as he leapt across the space between them and grabbed her close out of their embrace, falling to his knees as nausea instantly began to roll his stomach in disgust, flashes of bloated corpses and rot filling his senses completely until he was ready to choke.

She could see it, of course she could, could see the way he seemed to freeze as he held her limp body, the tremor in his breath, the haunted look staining his features with memory of old as his grip slackened and the tightened once more, could hear the shouts behind her, could feel the horrified tension in the air as copper danced on her tongue...but she couldn't do anything about it as her senses started to diminish and allowed terror to take hold.

Because she felt like she was drowning, her head underwater and breathless, barely able to see the distant look in his cold eyes, as if he were far away but unwilling to tear his gaze away from hers, the trembling of his hands as he desperately clutched at her, fingers digging into the swells of her flesh with no mercy....but she could also still feel the shadows as they tugged at her body. "Kaz-" the words died in her throat, pain heaving through her chest as her vision wavered until she couldn't see anything, feeling morality as it leaked across her stomach, dripping through the gaps of his leather fingers.

"Jesper! Inej!"

His voice sounded tight, shaky, raw like stone on stone, so rough and familar that it made her insides ache. But she couldn't focus on that for long as there was something suddenly wrapping around her shoulders, pulling her away from Kaz as he heaved, swallowing thickly with his pale face gaunt and into a thin chest as arms properly wrapped around her waist, tugging her further from the shadows below, and then gentle and small hands wrapping around hers as more familar voices began speaking to her. Jesper? Inej? Her eyes were swimming, everything was tight, numb, painful... Had her shadows protected them? Where was Kaz?

"Keep your eyes open, Yvaine!"

There was a weight on her ankle suddenly, cool leather sinking into the cold of her skin, another voice but she couldn't see anything, all she could feel was the shadows as they clawed at her still breathing corpse, hollowing her out, ready to drown her, to seal her into darkness like if was where she belonged, taking her back to where she'd been born, simply a living shadow trying to fool nothing more than herself. She was moving, at least she felt like she was moving but she could no longer see, could no longer hear the frantic voices or the strengthened pulls as the as the crows yanked her away from a dark embrace.

And in the end...all Yvaine could feel was the darkness she had once commanded in stained hands filled with both sin and love as she finally, finally slipped into blissful unconsciousness and let her ever haunting ghosts take her once more. One day I'm scared that the shadows are going to swallow me whole, and no one is even going to notice I'm gone.

"We've got you. We've got you." They would.

Chapter Text

The Barrel was truly a dreary place on the edge of devastation through its own greed, a place where there seemed to be a constant state of gloom in the air, full and suffocating and vile, festering through the air like some kind of disease that made mercy turn into hatred. Perhaps it had always been like that, perhaps it would always be nothing more than a mere shadow to haunt Ketterdam, perhaps it had been turned into that, had been molded into the perfect opportunities for gluttonous crime and punishment for hands that would always be stained with sin and cursed with the fate to never be stated.

Crooked cobblestones slick with something that was always almost never water, slanted buildings that always looked on the verge of toppling over from a howling breeze, holes in the ground from stray bullets, a constant tension that was thick like the blood it would makes its inhabitants bleed for it's own entertainment. There was something dangerous about the Barrel, something that always would be dangerous about the Barrel even if disguised with silk and perfume, haunted by the corpses buried beneath its walls, decaying in the reapers barge below.

And yet, even on nights like these when the darkness had overpowered the once starry sky to be nothing but a void of black, the Barrel was filled with life, their joyous cheers, the clinking of glasses as they collided together in a mocking toast, the shouts of arguments and love declarations and stumbling words, the smell of alcohol and broth battling against the usual rot that stained it, there was a life there, a life made from what creatures who were looked at like scum of the earth, the sinners, the criminals, the monsters and the unfortunate souls that had no choice to become what they had to become for their own survival.

The Crow Club was a place where most of the mentioned above frequented, gamblers, drinkers, all sort of low lives hoping for their next hit, but most importantly...the crow club inhabited the dregs.

Obviously gangs were common in Ketterdam as a whole, strangely more so there than anywhere else on the map, more opportunities for dangerous criminals it seemed to get a head on the game, some with more obvious power than the others, some still scraping against the floor of rock bottom for a few mere drops of recognition...and some such as the dregs that were making their way up the bloodied ladder, slowly but surely as skulls caved, gunsots fired, heads rolled and a certain darkness seemed to thrive and blister wherever the gang went, until mutterings of something more sinister and supernatural that had taken hold and now followed their name like an ominous warning.

Superstitious nonsense many believed...and most who said that usually found themselves consumed by the very shadows they scoffed at. And soon, many a myth surrounded the gang, but most importantly...many a myth surrounded the boy that practically ran it, the talk of the boy making a deal with the devil themselves for the darkness to bow to his brutal and vicious greed.

But lately, the Barrel almost seemed more livelier than usual, a certain excitement in the air, a hunger for power, for greed, for something more, thick through the air like smaug until all the inhabitants were choking on it. Because there were quiet mutterings from those with dangerously loose tongues...and not yet realizing that spiders were rather great of hearing when they wanted to be...which, of course, brought the Crow club into a more higher regard as a figure dressed in black slipped into a closed window, ready to spill the secrets of Ketterdam and the greed of kruge into a very willing ear.

At least, that's what Yvaine believed when she felt her shadows coo at her quietly, not quite a warning, more of an observation when they had finally had gotten used to the wraith that used them as some kind of mocking cloak to spy on those who'd never quite see her coming like a phantom that haunted the night. And honestly, there was never a time that the summoner wasn't going to be impressed by Inej as she sat alone in the club, glancing up at the bullet ridden ceiling with a small smirk curving over her lips that barely lasted a second, before she looked back down to the frustrating task at hand.

She was leant against the bar nonchalantly, leather bound fingers dipping into the grooves and imperfections of the wood beneath her, unable to tear her eyes away from the children's book in her palm, reading over the letters painstakingly slow and trying not to show the frustration that threatened to shift her face into something terrible as she sighed. It would of been easier if Jesper was there beside her, not just because she knew he'd help her, but because she wouldn't feel so idiotic about this, about all of this, and what was worse was that she couldn't even complain because this had been her idea.

Learning to read had never seemed important, never on the top of her to do list in truth, because the shadow summoner was usually far too busy surviving in the agonies of life, surviving the necessaries of darkness that hollowed her out like a lovedrunk corpse, just surviving against the odds with hands that grew more and more stained as the years grew on until she physically had to hide the proof of her own shadowed ruin.

And yet, here she sat, trying so very hard to complete a book that was intended for children who she was starting to suspect surpassed the time she'd taken simply reading the first bastard page, wondering once more, if not for the first time, if all of this was truly worth the aggravation and the headache that would only continue to maim her as the night grew on. But of course, Yvaine knew the answer to that, because whenever there was a chance for her to prove her worth, to prove she was much more than her shadows that she commanded, she was quick to take it...only now, it was only a reminder for herself and no one else.

Bloodied lips formed the word she was struggling on again, once, twice, three times, trying to find a way that it would settle on her tongue, trying to find a certain familiarity she was searching for as she mouthed it under her breath, her brows dipping into a half frown that sat on her face just as pretty as a smile did...and unfortunately for her, it was an expression that a rather stupid man, well, a pigeon really, took as an invitation, because the audacity of men was a strong thing, stronger than hate, than passion, than love...and while she had learned it the hard way, it had still been a lesson learned.

"What'sa pretty little thing like you, doin' in a place like'es, sweetheart?"

His words were slurred, and the stench of whatever he'd been drinking washed over her like a mocking breeze and he clumsily sat beside her, hiccuping as he flagged down one of the patrons for another glass who did so with a small smirk dancing over their features as they looked at just who the drunk fool was trying to bother, a certain excitement moving through the crow club, through the ones that knew the dangers of the girl who sat at the bar, bathed in shadow and darkness, and always a simple push away from delving into the abyss of insanity.

But Yvaine spared none of them a glance, she didn't even look up from the page she was reading as she began to drum her leather fingers against the top of the wood, a strange kind of ominous tune, like the drums of war ringing a threatening warning that you'd be a fool to ignore and really, that man was exactly that, a fool that is. Because it was obvious that there was something off about the girl beside him, the dangerous scar that curved over her jaw, the rolled up sleeve showing an inky black tattoo that his drunk eyes didn't dare decipher, and finally, even the strange gloves hiding her hands from the whole world.

And yet, that hadn't deterred him as he kept stumbling over his own words trying to talk to her, every sentence pushing together until she only had the suggestive tone in his voice to help her make sense of just what he was trying to do...however, he had no luck, no chance really as he rambled on, getting more and more frustrated because she wouldn't even look at him, never mind speak up, and that's when the man made the worst decision of his life as he wrapped his grubby hands around her forearm and tugged.

Because in no time at all, he suddenly found that hand exploding in pain as it was impaled into the bar beside it with a sickening squelch of his skin stretching away to make room for the black blade that was sticking out of his hand...and holding it was Yvaine, still not looking up from her book as she pushed it in further until only the handle was still visible and not buried in his bloodied flesh that was staining the brown wood beneath him before she slipped away, humming a cheerful tune under her breath as he stared at his hand in wide-eyed horror.

His screams were loud but the fear of darkness was louder as Yvaine finally, finally lifted her gaze of wicked shadow from her book to look the man dead on, a dangerous grin curling at her lips, a certain emptiness, a hollowness that painted her features like a god that had been forgotten in its worship and became mangled with torment and hatred to show the wicked world a god it would truly deserve as she watched him howl and yell, praying to the saints many condemned as if they would save him from her, as if anything could as she grinned with eyes that flickered black.

"There are no saints in the Barrel, sweetheart...there's only me."

The man whimpered while she laughed with her head thrown back and smile crooked, a truly wicked sound that she couldn't help even if she wanted to as she leaned her chin against her hand, watching in sick amusement like a cat playing with its dying meal as he fruitlesly tried to tug the strange blade from out of his flesh, loud gurgling yells drowned out through the every day noise of the crow club...until, of course, they suddenly weren't...as the quiet but threatening sound of a cane tapping against the floorboards filled their ears like an ominous warning.

"Is there a problem here, darling pick-pocket?"

Rough, that was always the word Yvaine used to describe the god awful rasp of the Brekker boy's voice whenever she heard it, a kind of gravel like croak that usually brought forth a headache that had built from a strange mixture of annoyance and admiration. And sometimes, she'd almost be excited to hear it, because when he usually called her name, whatever variant that may be, it was usually to tell her that her thieving hands were needed, and she was more than happy to provide...however, this wasn't one of those times, especially considering she was getting blood on the floors he'd just had cleaned.

But before she could reply to him, hell, before she could even turn to look up at him from his position where he stood behind her, almost close enough to touch but never taking that final step, the man who'd dared tried to touch what he shouldn't began to flounder and cry, a screaming sort of noise that bubbled together to form some semblance of a sentence that had her quirking a bored brow. "She fucking stabbed me! The fucking cunt! My hand! Look what she did to my hand! It's fucking ruined!"

And honestly, for a moment, Yvaine wanted to laugh, she wanted to grin down at him before she'd peel her gloves off and show him what actual ruin looked like, and then she'd watch his face pale as he looked at the puckered line of black scars that moved and shifted, like there was something alive under her skin, keeping the broken pieces of what was once her perfect hands together and making it look like a monstrosity in return...but as if reading her mind, she felt the heavy weight of Kaz's cane resting against her shoulder, holding her there, holding her down for a few moments, but then that was gone as quickly as it had came.

"Next time you touch what belongs to me, it will be your throat...Rotty, escort the gentleman out. Now."

They both watched calmly as he was dragged away, kicking and screaming with one of his fingers still sitting atop of the bar, having not made the cut it seemed when Rotty had tugged him from his seat until his own flesh had given in and allowed the blade to cut through his hand like butter...and then Kaz was stepping out from her shadow, brushing the appendage off of the surface with a sigh, before wrapping his hand around her knife and yanking it out of the wood with a dangerous ease to hand it back over to her with a dark look directed at his pick-pocket at the dent he'd now have to fix.

"You know, the last I checked, I don't belong to you, Brekker." Yvaine said with barely even a hint of venom, taking it from him carefully to make sure neither of their gloved fingers merely brushed in passing, before tugging the bottom of her dark shirt from out of her pants and began to wipe away the crimson that had coated it with a glimmer of satisfaction shining over her gaze, a strength that was more common now than it ever had been as the Brekker boy watched her, seemingly waiting until he had her attention once more to quirk a brow with almost mocking consideration.

"You're my crow, are you not?"

"Yeah, but unlike Jesper or Inej, I'm here of my own free will, and I can leave just as easily." The shadow summoner grinned brightly, but there was a hint of something cruel there, almost a warning that seemed to battle against amusement as she looked up at him, leaning her back against the bar like she owned it with confidence and power oozing out from her at the seams, knowing that the tattoo on her arm said differently but never missing a chance to delve into some kind of battle of wits with the bastard of the Barell, but instead, he only smirked, a mere twitch of his thin lips that told her he knew exactly what he was doing.

"You tell yourself that."

She huffed quietly, trying not to visibly roll her eyes as her gloved fingers started their rhythm once more, pretending she didn't catch the quick flicker of emotion that had passed over his features when he glanced over at the black leather hiding her hands from view, himself being one of the few that knew what hid beneath that disguise, knowing the scars, knowing the proof of something unnatural that bristled beneath her skin like a starving beast that was hungry for anarchy...and then he was quick to bring up the reason why he was there in the first place lest he lose himself into something that he didn't dare name.

"Didn't I have you on a job for me, pick-pocket? Or should I add slacking off to your pile of grievances?"

And this time, Yvaine committed to the eye roll she'd wanted to do with every moment in his presence, picking up the abandoned drink from the man she'd stabbed and swallowing it down like a shot, waving a nonchalant hand around in the hopes he would pick up the hint and leave her to her own devices, where she could rot in the stale air and dark light of the crow club until her heart was content. "It's already done, the documents are on your desk, I even put a little coin on top of it so you'd know which one is which through that mess you call an office."

Kaz made a noise in the back of his throat at her answer, not quite a hum, not quite a grunt as he leant against his cane, dark gaze drifting around to watch the patrons almost boredly, but of course, she knew better, she had no doubt in her mind that Dirtyhands was doing some serious kind of mental math to figure just how much kruge he'd have in his pocket when the night was over...before he dragged his gaze back over towards the pick-pocket, glancing down at the book lying face down on the bar with a twitch. "How far along now?"

Just like that, her once almost good mood had dampened as her own face soured, a small furrow forming between her brows that made her once again miss the presence of Jesper because he'd always been quick to smooth the skin out with a cheeky grin, a gentle caress, and a quick muttering about wrinkles, like she really cared about her appearance anyway, the scar that took up the bottom half of her jaw ensured she wasn't going to win many beauty contests...however, when she'd said that, she was sure her sharpshooter was about to shoot her, so she decided to keep such insecurities to herself.

"Halfway through." Yvaine grumbled in frustration, picking the small book up and beginning to uselesly flicker through it, as if the words that seemed to taunt her would finally start to make sense and she wouldn't have to go through the torture of reading the whole stupid thing that was honestly just making her more and more furious by the minute. "You know I hate this, right? I feel like a child, and not even an older one, I'm talking about a fresh out of the womb bastard."

But the Brekker boy only scoffed, the sound nothing more than a choked rasp on that venemous tongue of his as he reached into his side to pull out the golden pocket-watch that she was pretty sure she'd stolen for him some months ago, not that she'd ever remind him of that, knowing how much of a cunt he could be, he'd probably make a point of smashing it in front of her. "A child wouldn't cause me half as much problems as you do, pick-pocket. Now come along, if you're just going to sit there wasting your time, you might as well make yourself useful."

His gloved hands picked an invisible ball of lint from his black coat as he stood up straight, and feeling quite a bit rebellious with her cheeks flushed and stomach settling from the alcohol festering against the rot that was built inside of her like a structure of disease, the shadow summoner simply smiled as she leaned back, the desire for chaos only building inside of her like a restless call for destruction. "And just what is that going to entail, darling Dirtyhands. I've just got to the part where the big bad wolf was about the blow the little pig's house down."

"What do you know about heartrenders?" Kaz asked...but the thing with Kaz was that he didn't ask, he simpled phrased it in a way that was mocking, like she was his equal and not the darkness he'd come to rely on, but she knew what that tone meant, knew what that upturned twitch of thin lips meant, and knew that her time for relaxation was over as the shadows began to grow restless and whisper in dangerous excitement...because they had a job to do, and usually, her role in such thing was to get her gloved hands bloody much to her darknesses enjoyment as she stood up and shared his greedy grin with ease.

Because Dirtyhands and his shadow were nothing short of demonic, of cursed, of deadly...and soon, the whole of Ketterdam was going to know it too, one bloody day at a grisly time until everything they had once known had shifted and caved, to make room for the creatures who'd started from nothing...and were going to leave with fucking everything.

Chapter Text

Night had fallen by the time her feet finally touched the ground outside as she followed after the familar tapping of a cane, the darkness rising, cold and consuming, leaving the sky nothing but a void in the absence of light that had her shadows rolling around her flesh in delight. Of course, Yvaine didn't truly know where they were going as she strolled along carelessly, with only the word heartrender her clue, her warning of things to watch out for...as if she wouldn't of noticed her chest exploding and bathing the whole of Ketterdam in her wicked shadow.

But Kaz had her exactly where he wanted her as he always did...blind and guessing and right behind him in his shadow, and she trusted that whatever he needed her to do, she'd figure it our rather quickly because the pick-pocket worked best when chaos was afoot. So, she kept her gloved hands crossed behind her back, ease and confidence oozing from her every pore as her dark eyes flickered sinfully slow to the streets around them, searching through the darkness, seeing things that others could not, and making sure that any threat was handled before it could even take a step towards them.

It was strange that months ago she wouldn't of dared be so crass in the slaughter she could command with a mere twitch of her finger, wouldn't of dared to fall back into the sweetness of her cruelty to stain her hands with mortal sin because she could, because the night was her calling, because her shadows were her salvation and her damnation, filling up her hollow corpse with their black abyss, and yet now she was hungry for it, now she didn't hesitate to let her wickedness roam...because when you were surrounded by monsters, you realise that in the end, it wasn't such a horrible thing to be.

"So, where's our darling wraith and sharpshooter, Kaz? Or is this just an excuse to get me alone and all to yourself?"

Saints, Jesper really was rubbing off of her in the worst ways possible, Yvaine thought to herself with a pained grimace as she stalked up beside him quietly, pretending she couldn't see the sharp look she was given for her flirtation that was growing more and more bold by the day as she smirked and he glared, slamming his cane upon the already crooked cobblestones with more force than necessary in obvious warning that only filled her with amusement as they walked through the bloodied dirt of the Barell. "They'll be meeting us later on, pick-pocket...you and I just need to get something first."

We just need to get something first, that phrase was unfortunately familar to the shadow summoner as she paused for half a second with her mind racing swiftly, almost missing a step and losing her footing as the pieces began to fall like a house of cards, and then she let out a scoff, gloved fingers dancing over her hands still crossed behind her back as she quirked a brow up at him boredly. "And by something...you mean the heartrender, don't you? There's better ways to ask a girl to kidnap someone for you, Brekker, I hope you're aware of that."

"I'll keep that in mind."

But just as those words were spoken, he suddenly came to a stop in front of a rather homely looking building, leather clad fingers moving over his cane as he looked upon it with something dark passing over his features like a promise...and the pick-pocket didn't need to hear him say anything to know that that was the house in which their mark lived before he made his way around the back of the small house quietly without so much as a backward glance, knowing that by the time he'd finished strolling up the stairs...the job would already be done.

The shadows began to wind their way around her, looping beneath her limbs, curling around her feet until she felt like she was completely immersed in the darkness she commanded like saint to sinner, and then, though lacking the grace the wraith usually displayed, she began to push herself up the stone wall with gloved hands clumsy and stiff that she desperately pretended to ignore, trusting the black abyss underfoot to catch her if she misplaced a step as she climbed and climbed and climbed until she finally reached the half open window.

A bad decision if I've ever saw one, Yvaine thought to herself grimly with something cruel drifting over her eyes, not that she had much of a leg to stand on, quite literally in this case as her shadows gave her one final shove so she could slip into the living room of the heartrender, pulling the thick tendrils around her still moving corpse as she slithered into the corner of the low lit room, wrapping herself completely in darkness until there was nothing left of her, no scent of her clothes, no intake of her breath, no beating of her heart...nothing but the quiet of the room that seemed so much darker than it had been before.

And luckily, she didn't have to wait long, because she'd barely even been in there a moment before the door to what she could only assume was the bedroom opened, light streaming in like a halo as a woman strolled out, already dressed and looking rather dapper as she walked into her room where nothing looked nor sounded nor felt amiss, where she didn't see the dark gaze of wicked shadow watching her every move in the corner like a fat cat to a mouse, far too busy searching for her hat that matched her boots that she'd definitely left somewhere, and not realising the danger that had filled the room with ominous threat.

But of course, that didn't last long, because the moment the heartrender turned her back to the darkness of the room...she abruptly heard the powerful thump of a heartbeat, loud in her ears like the drums of war...the only problem being that she didn't even have a second to grab her bearings, didn't even have a chance to turn herself back around before her hands, her weapons were suddenly yanked behind her, and a blade that glistened with a black sheen was pressed under her chin, pushing into her skin until thin beads of crimson began to bleed down to her chest as she stilled, eyes wide and terrified.

"Try and use your magic on me, witch, and I'll open your throat like a butcher to a pig."

Yvaine's voice was a sneer, lowered into a grumbling pitch that was her own inside joke, a mocking of Dirtyhands that he definitely knew about but never did anything other than scowl when she used it. But when there was no light, when there was something sharp licking at her poor marks heels, and when there was nothing around but a whisper in the shadows...that voice could be very intimidating indeed as she pulled the black tendrils forth to wind around the grishas wrists, making sure they couldn't be seen, that they could only be felt.

"Careful now, pick-pocket, we do need this one alive."

She turned her head slowly, even though she already knew what sight would greet her after hearing the familiar and ever ominous tap of cane against wood as Kaz finally strolled into the room, hat pulled low on his forehead and his dark eyes of the churning seas trained upon the heartrender with something malicious and down right feral twisting at his lips. The shadow summoner could practically taste the fear that seemed to taint the room, getting stronger and stronger the more the woman realized her disadvantage, and once upon a time, she probably would of felt guilty for such cruelty...but that time was long gone.

"I know...I just like it when they're complacent." Yvaine snapped her teeth right by the grisha's ear with a purr, lingering for a few moments to make sure the unspoken threat was heard before stepping out of her shadow and back into the Bastard of the Barells with ease, standing behind him, moving as he moved, pausing as he paused, and then eventually deciding that she wasn't quite done being a menace as she slitered down upon the couch like she owned it, arms hanging over the back of it and her legs crossed at the ankles, looking so sinfully at ease that it was almost threatening.

The heartrender didn't seem to know who to look at, who to keep her guard up around, who seemed to be the leader, the more dangerous room in the suffocating room that was filled with the stretch of her terror, her gaze constantly flickering between the two rather haunting individuals that stood in the darkness of the room like they commanded it, sweat gathering across her forehead, fear maiming her from the inside out, and she knew that she should be more afraid of Dirtyhands, the bastard rising his way through the Barell by being nothing short of brutal.

However, without her permission, always without her permission, she found her eyes lingering over towards the girl, because everything inside of her screamed that the real devastation, the real monster was the devil with a dangerous grin.

And the pick-pocket knew exactly what was going through their marks head as she smirked, because she may not have had half the reputation the dregs had, as her so called boss had, but when you had spent your life surrounded by darkness, eventually darkness you became until everyone could see and fear it...and when she glanced over towards Kaz, it was to see that his face was set into his usual hard expression, but only she could see that familar glimmer of irritation that she just loved to ignite as she leaned even further back against the rough cushion of the furniture underneath and did what she did best...wait.

"What do you want from me?" There was a tremor in the older woman's voice, something she obviously tried to hide with her false bravo, pointed chin tilted up to the ceiling and her shaking hands concealed by the strange bindings that forbid her movements to do some damage.

"We have a job for you." Kaz said roughly, gloved palm dancing over the head of his cane that glistened in the haunting sheen of the moonlight, and from there, far too slow for either of their liking, a deal had begun to form. The promise of kruge a very convincing thing to even the most fearful individual, even if it was supposed dirty money because the greed of humanity was insatiable...and considering it appeared that the heartrender was soon going to be out of a job, not that she knew that of course, she could really use all the kruge she could get.

But when the rather strange trio eventually began to walk the streets of Ketterdam once more, it was Yvaine who lingered at the back, who let's her shadows bathe her in their embrace as she followed just behind them...and when she was sure that there was no praying eyes from the masses, she finally allowed her mask to fall as she muffled a pained cry into the curve of her shoulder...her gloved hands twisting with vile cramps that make them spasm and convert, rippling beneath her flesh and making them ache something awful as for a moment, just a moment, her darkness seemed to dim before she battled for control once more.

It was over as quickly as it had come, a few moments of agonising pain in which her scars seemed to pulse with wicked intentions, feeling like they were being torn anew while she tried to stanch her tears, but she barely gave it a second thought as she heard Brekker's voice in the wind, ordering her to hurry up as she forced herself to match his strides, her face drifting back into its neutral mask swiftly...because in the end, the shadow summoner knew she could bear any pain as long as it had meaning...and she just hoped that it did.
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They'd paid the heartrender for the hour, at least, that's what she kept repeating like some mocking parrot ever since they'd began walking, that she'd do business with them for a mere hour before waddling back to the orchid to continue on with her night, just going on and on, saying the same thing until the shadow summoner was wondering if the grisha was necessary for the job after all. Which, of course, she was sure that Jesper had noticed when he'd eventually decided to join them, if the way he'd formed a wall between them was any indicator with a cheeky wink thrown in her direction to soften the blow.

But as they got closer and closer to Dreesen's mansion, to the point where she could see the cracked paint of the black gate...Yvaine couldn't help but feel like there was something going on she didn't know about. There was a certain feeling in the air, a certain trepidation that only she seemed to be immune too, watching the way Inej's bronze hands never strayed too far from Sankta Margaretha by her thigh, the way the sharpshooter kept fiddling with his belt where his revolvers lay, and the way Kaz seemed stiff, well, even stiffer than usual though he was a master at hiding it.

She kept such thoughts to herself, however, arms crossed behind her back and eyes flickering from object to object as they drew nearer to the gate, only half paying attention to the exchange between the heartrender and the Brekker boy as he warned her of her inevitable fate to go into hiding after all of this was said and done, but it wasn't until Pekka Rollins name had fallen from his lips did she suddenly snap back to the conversation, brows furrowing as seemingly everyone avoided her gaze...and it was then that she knew for certain that she most definitely didn't know the full details of the job.

"Who are you lot?"

There was a guard standing by the gate, obviously, seemingly waiting for someone who wasn't them as he scowled dangerously through the iron bars, shotgun held in his large and surprisingly steady hands like a lifeline as he watched them all come closer cautiously, that grip only tightening further when Kaz kept limping forward without even a sign of slowing down, of being threatened by the weapon at hand...not that he had any reason to be anyway, not when the shadows were a far more powerful adversary to a mere bullet. "We’re here to see Dreesen."

"You’re not with Pekka’s crew."

"And you’re not in Pekka’s pocket anymore if you don’t owe him." And then, pulled from nowhere, a bag of coin appeared in his gloved hand that was thrown through the gap of the bars swiftly, which honestly, Yvaine would of usually found impressive if she wasn't getting more and more suspicious by the moment, feeling her ever tempting darkness as it flickered around the dimly lit mansion, just waiting for a moment it could let go as the gate was swinging and certain eyes averted, allowing their journey to continue to the doors with haste.

However, there happened to be a problem, as there usually was with everything they all seemed to do, because of course, she should of remembered that Dirtyhands parting from his precious bloody kruge was a sin in itself, because just as she heard Jesper ask where Kaz had gotten the coin from just as the doors were opened, she felt movement from the shadows as the guard from before called out to them, his voice dangerous and down right fuming as he eventually caught on to the fact that he'd been conned like a fool. "Hey! One of these has a hole in it!"

But all it took was one dark nod from the bastard of the Barrel towards his pick-pocket for that voice to be abruptly cut short as he tried to stupidly follow after them. Nothing more than a mere yelp swallowed by shadow to prove that he hadn't just dispersed into thin air, quick and relatively painless with barely even a mere twitch from her gloved fingers as the summoner let her lips curl into a smirk, sharing a look with Inej who swallowed whatever she was about to say...though no doubt saving it for later as the doors of the mansion closed behind them, bathing them all in the golden light that seemed to glow.

"Well suddenly the Crow Club just got a whole lot more shabby." Yvaine muttered, pretending to ignore the sharp look she was given from Kaz and instead focusing on the way the sharpshooter snorted, looking at the fancy decorations and paintings and wallpapers that looked more expensive than their entire wardrobes, including their weapons, put together...something that had her gloved hands clenching with unbridled excitement as the shadows of the corners of the room began to thicken, feeling her desire to steal and reacting in kind.

And yet, she had never been that lucky, because as soon as they began to be lead through the halls by one of the guards, it seemed that the Brekker boy had read her mind as he miscounted a step until he was limping beside her with his cane missing her foot by a mere inch, leaning down low so only she could hear the rough snarl in his voice that grated against her ears like nails on chalk. Especially when he didn't allow her to do the things she desired like a reprimanded child. "Keep your thieving fingers to yourself, darling pick-pocket...and stay in the shadows until I need you."

"Always, darling Dirtyhands." The sarcasm wasn't lost on him of course, but as the doors to the merchants office were finally opened, it wasn't like he had time to say anything more on the matter as she stepped behind him quietly, crossing her dangerous hands behind her back and letting her darkness hear her calling as the lights of the room dimmed in her presence as they all strolled in.

Then by the moment they'd stepped a foot inside, Dreesen had already lifted his head at their presence as if he could smell them, moustache twitching and his eyes dark as they passed from individual to individual, something vile twisting as his face like he wanted to spit, before lifting a singular finger and pointing towards them with his brows set and heavy. "One look and I can tell...criminals. I’m not meeting anyone ’til midnight." He snarled, glaring down at them with his beady gaze narrowed in contempt, like their mere existence was dirtying up his flooring, like they were simply staining the air they were all breathing.

Yvaine kept her own eyes trained at the guards stationed around the room as Kaz and the merchant began to talk about the job at hand, lingering upon their weapons, their guns crudely on display by their waist, as she started tapping her leather bound fingers against the skin of her forearm inconspicuously, herself being the only one able to see the way her shadows had crept from the crevices of the corners, looping ever so carefully around their ankles with their phantom touch light and apathetic, ready to pull them back into the abyss she'd create at a moments notice before they even had a chance to pull the trigger.

But she snapped back to attention once more as Dreesen chuckled, a spiteful sounding thing that set her teeth on edge as she twisted her head back to the conversation happening in front of her, watching the way he stepped up from his desk and walked around it like he didn't have a care in the wretched world as he leant against it Oh so casually, looking from the heartrender to the boy dressed in so much black that he looked like death itself and then back again with a leechful grin. "Mr. Brekker, no businessman worth his salt hires his first applicant."

"No. No, I understand." Kaz said softly, glancing down to the ground beneath them and trying not to smirk as he caught sight of the thick tendrils of the black darkness seeping into the merchants shadow like an ominous threat, seeing the way they moved slowly like winding snakes, venom poised and ready to strike...before he lifted his head to stare directly into Dreesen's eyes who'd began to look rather agitated indeed. "Of course, I will have to report you to the guild for kidnapping and harboring a prisoner without chain of title."

"You wouldn't." The man spat as he sat up straighter, upper lip curling, half hidden under that ridiculous moustache as his guards reacted to such a statement, their fingers curling over their jackets to show their weapons of steel, a warning, a threat that was matched when Jesper did the same with a nonchalant ease that was all confidence, knowing that he could out shoot them any day...and knowing that their own bullets wouldn't even touch their sides as the light from the lanterns began to dim once more, the air of the room thickening with pure and raw power as something dark began to bloom.

"No businessman worth his salt bargains for what he can take."

The merchant stepped forward, strides slow and purposeful as he came to stand in front of the ever looming shadow of Kaz who stood tall, looking down at him without so much as a flinch as they glared each other down, waiting for the other to blink first as Yvaine risked a step forward, getting ready to make them all bow at his signal...only for their unexpected savior of the heartrender to come forth as she lifted her hand, saying the only thing she seemed to know how to considering how often it came out of her bastard mouth. "I have to be back in an hour."

...And just like that, they were being led down into some dark and dingy basement, something that had her breath catching as she desperately tried not to focus on how small the walls suddenly felt as they went further and further down, like they were closing in on her with the light of the room practically non existent, her heart beginning to pound in painful thumps as her mantra of I control the shadows, they do not control me, curled around her mind, but getting quieter and quieter as the space grew smaller...and then, there was a tap at her ankle, a harsh slap of her skin with the ever rough cane that forced her back to the moment as she grunted.

There was better ways to keep her calm, and Kaz definitely knew that, but he wasn't called the bastard of the Barell for nothing. However, she didn't get a chance to retaliate before they finally reached the cellar, and when Dreesen opened the rather creaky door...Yvaine would of been lying if she said she expected the sight that greeted her as Inej gasped to the side of her quietly, and clutched the summoner's shirt in her calloused palm in horror when they cast their eyes upon...a skinny boy tied up like fucking cattle.

"Who’s this?"

"So you don’t know everything after all. This…is Alexei Stepanov." The merchant chuckled, walking past the murder of crows with a glass of wine clutched between his fat fingers, before grabbing the pale brown sack and yanking it from his captives head...where, sure enough, the boy's terror ridden face finally came into view, looking half mad, half tortured with his bloodshot eyes that screamed of the monsters of the world, staring lifelessly at the ground as if praying it would swallow his whole while Dreesen walked back towards them calmly. "Two weeks ago, young Alexei here crossed through the Fold on foot...alone."

The fold? Shadow made damnation, Yvaine kept her gaze trained upon him, handing Inej a glass of water that she'd poured for herself to give to him when she heard his whispered begs and practically tasted the wraiths disgust at his treatment, unable to tear her eyes away from the boy who had seen the worst of what darkness had to offer and had lived to tell the tale...well, if you called the state he was in living.

"I know an expedition was swarmed by volcra, it should’ve been a total loss, but something happened...some sort of device detonated, obliterated the volcra and lit up the dark like a forest fire, and I know it wasn’t a fire or else no one would have survived...this was some invention no one had seen before." Dreesen continued, something dark and greedy dancing over his weathered face that was gone as quickly as it had came, but not before the pick pocket had caught it of course, and that trepidation that had already formed in the pit of her stomach began to reach boiling point as pieces of the job began to fit together like a puzzle.

The question, however, still remained...why did it seem like she was the only one who hadn't been told?

"He knows, but he doesn’t seem to be able to articulate his account of events, probably some form of traumatic lapse, so…" And at this, he turned to gesture towards the heartrender who was swift to make her way towards him as they all watched, picking up the blues of her skirts as she kneeled beside the bound boy with her smile gentle and easy when she began to softly trail her long fingers over his thin wrist, feeling the pulsing of his heartbeat in his veins, getting slower and slower as she worked her small science, weaving it into his chest like a siren song as breath evened out and he finally succumbed to peace.

"Now we can just talk, tell me what happened in the Fold. What saved you?" She whispered softly, staring up at him as she trailed her lingering touch over his flesh like it would shatter beneath her nails if she pressed down too hard, all the while Alexi looked at her like she'd hung the stars and the moon, something flashing over his pained eyes that looked like it was bringing him to the brink of insanity all over again...and Yvaine supposed that she might as well of considering it was probably the first time the poor bastard wasn't being maimed by the memories of the darkness rising.

The boy swallowed thickly, letting the grisha work her magic as his shoulders slumped in his restraints, not even aware of what he was truly saying, what he was remembering as he drowned in the blue of her gaze. "You won’t believe me, but…it was a Sun Summoner."

And the moment those damned words left his chapped lips, Yvaine felt the sudden grip of Inej as her broze palm enclosed over her gloved wrist when she gasped loudly, her living saint a blessed thing, her faith her saviour as she pressed her free hand against her chest and looked towards ceiling in prayer, in some kind of rejoiced awe. But the shadow summoner didn't share her feelings, of course she didn't, because ironically enough, she just felt cold and strangely uncomfortable, like something inside of her was rotting...like this was only the beginning of the end, but she couldn't even begin to figure out why.

She could feel her shadows begin to get restless as they withered in the corner of the room with only her control to keep them tame, having no choice but to watch as the merchant lied to Alexi with the promise of freedom, talking about the wonders that was Ketterdam, giving him false hope when she knew what was going to happen when the name of the sun summoner, the living saint, was left out to be damned in the open air, and soon enough...the name Alina Starkov was finally given up for the sake of a vile vow that was falser than the smile Dreesen wore like a omen. "You'll set me free now?"

"Of course."

However, Yvaine knew exactly what was going to happen next as she saw the pistol in the mans fat fingers, shining with the golden rings that glistened in the low light of the lantern, and she just managed to step in front of the Wraith in time to block her from seeing the bullet that was abruptly engraved in the young boys head as his body dropped like a mere animal to slaughter and his brain matter scattered across the wall behind him, the screams of the heartrender nothing more than background noise as her gaze lingered upon the crimson river flowing like the sea into the cracks and crevices of the ground below.

"We are now the only people west of the Fold with this information, my ship sails for West Ravka at dawn, and if you can prove that you have a way through the Fold and back, I’ll put you on that ship with an advance, but if you don’t, I’m giving this job to Pekka Rollins." Dreesen glanced over towards them boredly as if he hadn't just murdered an innocent, his weapon already holsted as he strolled right on past the crows towards the door to the cellar once more, leaving the body of the foolish boy who stupidly believed in the mercy of others to rot down with the rats.

But just as the pick pocket was about to speak up, sick of biting her tongue and tasting copper morality to ask just how he supposed they were going to do that...Kaz suddenly stepped forward, cane clenched in his gloved hands so hard that she could hear the leather creak, his gaze firmly set on the merchant and ignoring Yvaine's searching eyes as once more...she began to slowly meld the pieces of why she wasn't told about everything, and her fate was only sealed as Dirtyhands spoke with promise...because after all, what use was a shadow summoner if she couldn't bend all kinds of shadow. "I already have a way through the Fold."

"Oh? Do you now, Mr. Brekker? Well then, you better get your act together, because your ship sails at sunrise...the prize is one million Kruge, now bring me Alina Starkov."

Chapter Text

We already have a way across the fold, his voice kept swirling around her mind, even long after they'd left the mansion, loud and unapologetic and absolutely infuriating as she paced around her bedroom and trying so very hard not to let her shadows condemn the whole of the wretched Slat in her rage. Saints, Yvaine was pretty sure she was finally going to fall victim to her vile urges and kill him, pretty sure she was going to murder and maim him completely for putting her in a position that she knew she couldn't succumb too, the fold, the fold, he expected her to manage them all across the fold?

The moment the meeting was done, drying up like the crimson blood of the innocent martyr on the evening floor, it was the shadow summoner who'd been the first one out of the doors and ignoring the calls of her name, desperate to get the hell away from the murder of crows who seemed to insist on lying to her at every turn, for their own sick amusement, with the only good thing being that at least this time it hadn't almost resulted in her desolate ruin, it hadn't ended with her in her villains clutches being torn apart again and again and again until she was teetering on the edge of destruction.

Her foot pressed against one of the crooked floorboards, and the resounding screech that came out of it almost brought her to her knees as she took a breath that was almost a sob, rubbing her gloved palm frantically down her face as if that would wake her up from the nightmare she had found herself in. But that noise, the break in her overwhelming thoughts was just the moment of clarity she needed as she suddenly rolled her shoulders and made a break for her door...not caring that Kaz was in the middle of his planning, and definitely not caring that he probably still had that crazy look in his eyes that they all usually avoided.

There was a dark rage inside her, there always was lately, something that had swallowed what was once mercy whole and then expected her to still have some semblance of humanity in a rotting corpse that refused to make any more room...but most of all, there was a sudden fear inside of her, because if she couldn't force the fold to bend to her will, then just what use was she going to be to the bastard of the Barrel?

Of course, she shook that horrifying thought away as swiftly as it had arrived, instead focusing on keeping one foot in front of the other as she stormed up the stairs with her face set in a scowl so deep it almost hurt, not even noticing when one of the younger members of the dregs practically throwing himself down them in an effort not to get in her wicked way as she eventually reached Brekkers door, and without even a second of hesitation, practically threw it open with her whole body shaking with unbridled rage that weighed upon her like an anchor to sea. "You need to find another way through the fold, asshole."

He didn't even look up at her the absolute bastard, didn't even give her the time of day, the luxury of pretending she was human and not just a mere pawn in his game as he shook his head and grunted. "There is no other option. I've already looked."

"Then look again." There was a desperation in her voice, a fear that burned like coal in her throat, choking her upon the ashes of her own damnation as she resisted the urge to start pacing across the floorboards once more. How could he not see how dangerous this was? How could he not see that this so called job could very well be their destruction? Had his greed made him that blind that he'd risk everything he'd worked for? Then again...considering it was the bastard of the Barell she was talking about, thinking about most constantly, she fine well knew the answer to that.

And it was then that Kaz finally tore himself away from the documents at hand, his gaze as wild as the ever churning seas with his dark hair falling in entangled pieces over eyes that scorched and seared as they looked upon her wicked flesh with feral agitation. A familiar intensity that made the shadows flicker beneath her, curling over her ankles, her skin as if trying to push her back or pull her forwards as she met his gaze evenly with her shoulders squared and furious. "This isn't a debate, pick-pocket, if you can't get us across the Fold then that's a million kruge gone and in Pekka's pocket."

"I'm not risking everyone's lives on a maybe, Kaz. You saw what happened to Alexi, you saw how ruined he looked and, saints, you've even seen better than anyone what the shadows have done to me! Are you really willing to risk-"

His gloved palms slammed down upon the table with an echoing bang, the wood shaking, practically trembling as his teeth bared into a snarl and forcing the words to die upon her tongue as her mouth snapped shut, tension pulling their bodies into standstill, muscles taunt and tempers flared as the invisible pressure of their doom weighed a heavy burden upon their shoulders...but Dirtyhands wasn't quite done with her yet. "Do not let your emotions get the better of you, summoner, we have a way across the Fold, we have the advantage-"

But at that, Yvaine only scoffed, a spiteful sounding thing as she lurched forward until only the uneven table separated them, breaths mingling in the warm glow of the room that flickered as darkness threatened to take hold as her rage continued to mount and mount and mount, with no sign of a life raft in sight as they glared at the other dangerously. "No, I'm the advantage, Brekker, there isn't a we. Stop talking about me like I'm a object and just admit that you don't know how to pull this all off because you're out of your depth and you know it-"

"If you can't get us across the fold then you are useless to me."

A muscle in her jaw clenched at the cruelty that spilled from his lips, the rough saltwater drawl of his voice a sharp sting as she took a step back as if physically pushed away, the darkness of the room growing cold as something in her chest gave way. And then, she let out a dry laugh, rubbing at her cheek with her gloved palm trembling, trying to remember why she still chose to remain in Ketterdam with him, and of course knowing the answer in the dark confides of her mind...she was, and always would be, simply a glutton for punishment, for brutality, Deverous had maimed her with his and now she craved it like an addict.

Callous words and burning glances had made a home inside of her, had been her ruin and now it was her salvation, a reminder that she was still living, that she hadn't succumbed to death and the illusion of peace. Condemning Kaz for being spiteful was like blaming a scorpion for its sting, for doing something that was simply in its nature...and the familar ache of the venom coursing through her veins was welcome and simultaneously a curse.

"I don't even know what I expected coming up here. I can't get us across the fold, I'm not-" I'm not strong enough, I'm not stable enough, there was a splinter of ruin still lodged inside my birdcage chest, and I think its tearing me apart seam by seam until my bitter death is on show for the whole world to see, to bleed out mortality in the open eyes of the masses. My hands, my damned hands are constantly withering with agony and despair, it's a blessing that I can even move them at all, a miracle that my shadows are stronger than I could ever hope to be. "I can't keep us all safe, I'm not powerful enough."

But that wasn't enough for Kaz, of course it wasn't, nothing would ever be enough for him until he had the whole of Ketterdam bowing to his feet, until he was crushed under the weight of his own riches as he snarled, skin shining with a thin sheen of sweat and his gaze as frantic as an animal being cornered as he snapped back just as quick. "I'm not losing the job, pick-pocket, not to Rollins, and instead of devising a plan to ensure it, here I am, coddling you. It's a shame your innkeeper is no longer alive, perhaps then you'd have some inkling of motivation in that dull head of yours."

The moment the words slipped from his mouth, he knew he'd made a mistake, sighing roughly through his nose as he glared down at the table and giving himself a moment to breathe, to calm before he said something far worse, closing his eyes for half a second as he struggled on what to say, the silence of the room suffocating him through his own damned violation. "Yvaine-"

However, he looked up just in time to see the wild curls of her hair that seemed to flare out in every direction except her head as it stormed away, slamming the door shut behind her with the shadows that had consumed the floors disappearing off after her too as he grunted, banging the side of his fist against the wall behind him in frustration. The pick-pocket was many things, and soft was most definitely one of them, bringing up the innkeeper had been...wrong, on his part, especially considering the wound had yet to scab over, instead festering in the rot that was Ketterdam, another scar still healing.

Problems and miscalculations kept mounting, falling apart in his bloodstained hands as they desperately grabbed at the job that was slipping through his gloved fingers, first it had been Inej's indenture to the menagerie that he was still working over as she'd so kindly reminded him, then it was his summoner's stubborn force of will that was stronger than the darkness she commanded like saint to a sinner...and all he needed now was Jesper to fall into a pit of his own addiction and then all three of them will have finished their plan of ruining him most completely.

Time passed him by swiftly, the usual racket of the Slat fading to nothing more than background noise unworthy of his attention as he looked through every option repeatedly, mind racing a mile per minute as plans formed and then crumbled constantly, over and over and over again. Yet, there was some small part of him that was distracted, lost in thought somehow like his brain was divided in a half, and it probably had something to do with the way his dark eyes found themselves drifting over towards the corners of his room where the shadows lay like a omen.

Perhaps that's why he didn't startle when he heard footsteps against his flooring, why he sighed quietly instead of dancing his gloved fingers over a weapon...why he felt so bloody tongue tied as he turned on his heel expecting to see his shadow summoner...only to find that he was so dreadfully wrong as two of Dime lions strolled in like that owned it.

And before they even had a moment to open their mouths in an attempt to intimidate him, Kaz lunged for them with a snarl, ramming the head of his cane into the closest legs and knocking him down just as quick, before swiftly twisting around to throw his fist in an arc against the others nose as he screamed, hearing a satisfying crack of bone breaking and the sweet sting of his knuckles bruising before he was abruptly grabbed from behind, his head being forced to slam against his own desk, dark hair falling over his eyes and whole body rolling with nausea at the feeling of their disgusting bloated, cold and rotting skin against his shoulders.

Tap, tap, tap. There was another one, he could hear them, a third that he hadn't accounted for as he struggled and snarled like an animal ensnared in a trap, feeling the metathorial rope around his neck pulled taunt, the barbed wire around his feet, the cage wall on either side of him getting smaller and smaller until his chest was about to cave it...and then he looked up...to find Pekka Rollins walking into his office, staring him down without a hint of recognition in his eyes, just a greed, just a rage...but nothing for the boys life he'd ruined.

"Evening. Mr. Brekker, is it?"

"You're a long way from home." Kaz said quietly, everything rushing back to him all at once, wrapping him in an embrace of hatred and rage that had something in his lower stomach twisting in despair as he continued to struggle against the hands holding him down, trying desperately to focus on the words he spat through trembling lips and not the rising waters that lapped at his chest, wanting to pull him down below to his watery grave where rot was awaiting him, to welcome him home when he'd choke on the saltwater he constantly breathed.

"Am I? Like you were earlier? When you took a Grisha from the Orchid." Rollins hummed, idly tapping his fingers against his hat that he held in his grip carefully, looking so incredibly smug that Kaz could feel the pounding of his heart getting louder, pumping in his ears until it was drowning out the rational thoughts to keep his mouth shut. Brick by brick, the familar thought came sudden and vengeful, a growl in his throat, a burning in his chest, blood on his hands, brick by brick I will destroy you,

"The Orchid isn’t Dime Lions turf." The Brekker boy snapped instead, knowing he couldn't get the things he desired, kruge and Ketterdam upon its treacherous knees, if he was dead. But that didn't make any of it easier, especially when the ginger haired bastard chuckled, squatting down in front of him like he was a child with a hum of consideration, watching him like a hawk about to dive upon its prey and rip out his innards with its sharp talons.

"Well, it’s a new acquisition. You heard it here first."

Kaz felt a bead of sweat roll down the sharp cut of his face as he glared up at Pekka Rollins, felt it settle on the cut upon his lip, felt its sting like it was poison being ingested into his boiling veins filled with hatred. And it was by chance, by some strange expectation that he found his gaze shifting for half a second, towards the darkest corner of the room, thinking for half a moment in his imagination that he could see a figure hiding in it's depths like she always was...before feeling the press of his own cane against his cheek as Rollins chuckled darkly in amusement, like he knew something he didn't.

"Ah, if you're looking for your little shadow...then I'm afraid she's a bit busy, boy. Now, let's get down to business."
________________________________________________

"Hello there, poppet."

The voice had came from behind as well as the blow, a clean whoosh of air followed by a blunt something bashing into Yvaine's head with such a force that the moment it happened she thought her skull had actually caved in as she stumbled and collapsed, trembling fingers sluggish to cup the back of her head, gloves coming back slick and throbbing as she scrambled for her bearings that seemed completely out of reach of her blurry vision and ringing ears, eyes frantically staring out into the darkness, trying to see something as she gasped for the breath that had escaped her.

What the hell had just happened? She'd barely even got the time to question it before she felt their boot collide with her ribs with a sickening crack that she could feel all the way up to her teeth, cursing and swearing with her mouth bared and bloody like an animal ensnared in a trap, snapping at the hands that grappled with her roughly, only to feel the same boot come down upon her with a furious vengeance, again and again and again, keeping her down and screaming as the rain poured and skies thundered in rage as she choked on her own spit and fury.

The shadow summoner didn't remember much of what happened after, saints, she barely remembered much of what happened before, something about Mrs. Vallel and the bloodstained memories that haunted her alongside the fury that came with talking with Kaz, bits and pieces flashing before her eyes that she struggled to grasp...the tattoo of a feral cat curled in a crown, the mocking laughter as the blows kept coming...and then her shadows leaping from her hollow corpse, winding around a fragile neck before their head went rolling and their body dropped like a puppet cut down from its strings.

Of course, then she was too busy fading in and out of unconscious to try and piece together everything else, the world spinning beneath her prone body that barely even moved to breathe except for when she found herself renching in her half dead state, blood and bile bubbling on her lips, copper on her tongue and stomach lining in her throat as she lay there and ordered herself to get up and fight like she had always done, to get up, get up, get up...but that was the last thing she remembered for a while, the last coherent thought for a while that wasn't a prayer that she wouldn't choke on her own sick.

But then Yvaine awoke to familar hands cupping her face frantically, brushing the bloodied stands of hair from sticking against her cheek and speaking to her softly with their voice not even attempting to hide the panic that coated their every word, trying to move her, to hold her but being terrified of aggravating the wounds that stained her...and when her eyes finally fluttered open, it wasn't all that surprising to find that it was her Jesper looming over her, crouched down beside her with his pretty face twisted in concern as she smiled at him drowsily.

"Well, this feels familar, doesn't it?"

"That it does, gorgeous. What is it with you and alleyways?" The sharpshooter laughed quietly, his shaking shoulders slumping in relief...and then he was suddenly bending his head down to press his forehead against hers as she winced carefully, taking a few moments to calm his pounding heart that had almost jumped from his chest at the sight of her bloodied and bruised, lying in the shadows with her breath shallow and wet, before eventually pulling himself away with his brows furrowed in a worried frown. "Want to fill me in on what the hell happened?"

"I think it's pretty obvious what happened, I got jumped." Yvaine said plainly, baring her teeth in a snarl in an attempt not to start screaming as she began to shift around, letting a few idle curses and grunts slip through her swollen lips as she tried to access the damage but to no prevail because, ironically enough, it was far too dark for even her to see through the black abyss around them. Saints, she felt like she'd been thrown under a horse and carriage, actually, scratch that, she felt like she'd been thrown under several considering her every movement brought forth a different kind of agony.

It was both a blessing and a curse that Jesper could read her so well, because she'd barely even moved before his arm was winding around her waist ever so gently to help her stand on her own two feet, hushing her whimpers and pulling her close as she groaned miserably, resting her head against his chest for a minute to catch her breath, wondering just why the bloody saints seemed so keen to see her damned and dead. However, what they had yet to realise was that because she couldn't have love nor peace...she'd be given a bitter glory, and the day she left the earth she'd make sure the stain of her shadow would stretch on for centuries.

"Surprisingly I gathered that, I meant how did you get jumped? Don't your shadows do that weird thing-"

"Yeah, usually...but I was too distracted thinking about Kaz." She hissed through her teeth while seeing no point in lying, every muscle in her body screeching in protest as she began to limp out of the dark alleyway, ignoring the call of darkness and holding onto the sharpshooters shoulder with her gloved palm wound tight in the material of his coat to take her mind from the aches and pains of her ruin, bruised arm straining pathetically with carrying half of her own weight while he carried the other with ease.

Jesper laughed, looking down at her with that stupid smile on his stupid face, warm fingers dancing over the bare skin of her hip bone where her pants had been ripped, searing delightful heat back into her flesh which the cold Ketterdam air had leeched from her. Sometimes, she wondered what she did to deserve the Zemeni boy who made her feel at home, why she'd been blessed to have him stumble into her life, to save her more times than she could count, to consume her until she would rather break the world into pieces than lose him...she was sure that whatever souls were made of, hers and his were one of the same.

"Ah, yeah, usually a cause of distraction for me too if I'm honest, gorgeous. I wouldn't worry about it." Water splashing up her pant leg alongside his voice tore her away from her adoration filled thoughts rather abruptly as her face twisted in distaste, glaring down at the crooked and uneven ground beneath them, filled with diverts and holes that made for a clumsy walk which was truly the last of her needs when she felt like her battered body was only being held up by her own stubborn force of will, the likes of which had kept her going for the vast majority of her years in fact.

However, when Jesper's words finally registered in her mind, which, in her defence, was working quite slow due to the numerous blows to it, she found herself scoffing loudly, trying not to gag at the very thought of what the sharpshooter actually imagined when he was thinking about the bastard of the Barell, and knowing for a fact that they most definitely weren't on the same level at all. "Please, your thoughts are usually about what he'd look like without that hideous waistcoat, mine are about how pretty he'd look with his skull caved open."

"Well, if you ever need a partner in crime-"

"I'd call for Inej."

"I'm going to leave you here."

The threat didn't exactly install Yvaine with fear as they shuffled along, especially considering that the familar view of the Slat was making its anticipated appearance like a beacon in the darkness. Home sweet home, she thought in dry amusement, pretending she didn't feel the curlings of relief settle in her stomach like a flower in bloom as she untangled herself from the Zemeni boys embrace, patting his chest in thanks but honestly desperate to just get to her room and sleep for at least a week before she'd have to deal with whatever crap Ketterdam decided to throw at her once more.

But she didn't get very far, in fact, she'd just managed to stumble her way inside when Jesper suddenly grabbed her arm, long fingers curling over the limb as gently as he could as he brought her to a stop, wincing down at her apologetically as if he knew exactly what she wanted to do and how he was interrupting it. Saints, was she ever actually going to get a break? Or at least a bloody nap? She believed the chances weren't likely, especially when the sharpshooter actually started talking. "Maybe you should go see Kaz, gorgeous. He was the one who sent me out to find you...apparently Rollins has warned him off the job."

There was no rest for the wicked, and there didn't seem to be any for the damned either as she sighed, cursing under her breath as she began making her way up the stairs and waving off Jesper when he went to help her. Was she being stubborn? Most definitely. Did she care? No...well, she was starting to actually, because about halfway up it had felt like her body was about to crumble into bloody pieces, and when she finally got to the top, she vaguely contemplated crawling the rest of the way, pride be as damned as her mortal corpse.

And yet when she actually did get to Brekker's room, shoulders practically hunched up to her ears and awaiting whatever torment that would await her...only to find that there was no one there. There was a few papers scattered across the ground, a crack in the wall above the desk that hadn't been there a few hours prior and a few scruffs and marks across the flooring, all of which told Yvaine that she hadn't been the only one having a rough night as she blew air through her lips thinly, fingers rubbing at the scar on her jaw as she glared at the emptiness of the room around her.

Well, that certainly felt anticlimactic, the shadow summoner had expected ridicule the moment she'd stepped inside, perhaps some mockery and taunting about her losing her touch or something as equally rude...and instead all she was doing was standing there looking like a fool while instead she could of been sleeping.

However just as Yvaine turned around to walk back out and head over to her room, the door suddenly opened with barely even a creak as Kaz strolled in with his cane tapping ominously against the floor. Of course, he didn't look suprised in the slightest to find her there, barely even sparing her a glance as he went through the quiet process of taking his long coat from around his shoulders and hanging it upon the rack alongside his hat, apparantly just as keen to ignore her as she was to avoid him...until he finally happened to look up to see her ruin...and then his face shifted dangerously.

"Who was it."

She tried not to physically startle at the venom that laced his every word, the rough gravel of his voice as cruel as the sea to a drowning man, pulling her beneath the waves as she stared up at him in confusion as his dark eyes stared at her every bruise coldly. And then she abruptly realized why he'd taken such offence to her attack, to the mottled colours of blue and purple upon her wicked flesh...and that was because she was a dreg, she was his crow, and any attack to one of them was indirectly an attack to the bastard of the Barell himself...but she couldn't help but wonder why that fact felt so disappointing.

His cane pressing against a creaky floorboard brought her back to the present as her gaze shot up, heart in her throat at the short distance between them, and upon remembering that he was awaiting an answer to his demand, found herself smiling sarcastically with something that just felt wrong. "You know I've never been good with names."

"Then give me something. Did they have any scars, facial hair, anything you'd pick from a crowd." Kaz snapped with his upper lip curled into a snarl, risking another step towards her with a mangled expression on his pale face littered with scars of his own destruction. However, in all honesty, even if she wanted to assure him she couldn't, because Yvaine could still barely remember any details of her cooling walk or the attack that happened after which didn't exactly fill her with confidence considering she was hit in the head and the last thing she bloody needed was some kind of brain damage.

Actually, now that she thought about it...she did seem to remember one rather important detail that could interest him greatly. "Well, he was missing a head if that's what you're asking...at least he was after I was finished with him."

There was a jump of muscle twitching in the Brekker boys jaw, a quick clench of frustration that was as masked as quickly as it had took over, and considering Yvaine knew that Kaz craved violence like she craved adoration, it was very likely that he was more upset about the missed opportunity to cave someone's skull in than anything else. But then, with a sigh and a nod in her direction, he limped past her to slump down in his chair, absentmindnessly rubbing his leg as he looked over his documents once more in consideration.

"We have another way across the fold. A conductor, at least that's what they call him, he smuggles grisha into Ketterdam, he'll take us to the Little Palace and from there we'll be on our own." He said slowly, reluctantly, like the words were physically being torn from his pale lips by her stained hands dripping with the blood of her devastation. He didn't even look at her as he forced the sentence out, didn't even seem to breathe, just staring down at the browning papers upon his desk as if they held all the answers...or more accurately, they were a good cover so he didn't have to look at her.

For a few minutes, there was silence, a thick tension in the room that smelled of smoke and hatred, getting stronger the longer it stretched on as the shadow summoner tried to keep her mouth from falling open in shock...Yvaine seriously wondered if the blow to her head was far more serious than she'd thought, wondered if she was somehow imagining this whole interaction between them, imagining everything including Jesper finding her and taking her home fretting over her like a mother hen, wondering if she was still in that alleyway, bleeding out and dead, another corpse for Ketterdam to rot and condemn.

"You...you actually looked for another way?"

And it was then that Kaz finally glanced at her, and there his gaze stayed like it was unable to move from her, staring into the darkness of her eyes that was blacker than the abyss of his own mind, than the sea and night sky, like the shadows made flesh and human to birth some unsettling monstrosity that was far too infuriatingly good to be called as such. "Believe it or not but I do like my head firmly attached to my shoulders, pick-pocket. If you doubt your capabilities, then who am I to question you."

This is definitely a trap, a test of some kind, it had to be, there way no way, there couldn't be any a way he'd simply give up his easy way, that he'd give up full stop, this is a trap, this is a trap, this is a trap, her thoughts were loud and fumbling over each other, memories of when Deverous used to play cruel tricks on her just for a reason to punish her later on in the guise that she deserved it for disobeying him and his orders, each punishment more painful and bloody than the last until she'd barely even trusted a word he said, which of course, would end with a different kind of punishment for her lack of belief.

But she wasn't with Deverous anymore, that was something she had to remind herself, tell herself when she awoke in the middle of the night with a scream upon her lips, when her old wounds throbbed with phantom pain and the haunting ghosts of her past, when Jesper or Inej placed their hands upon her and her mind flashed back to when hands had been made to harm instead of comfort and hold.

Yvaine's own hands gave a sudden tremor by her side, a cold gust of air brushing over her knuckles that forced her attention down to her gloves, trying not to freeze at the glimpse of her own scarred flesh that peaked out from a hole in the leather...something that Kaz obviously noticed as he tutted quietly, shaking his head in some mocking annoyance before looking back over to his desk. "You need to get your wounds cared for before our journey, Jesper will have some ointment in that sty he calls a room...and while you're at it, get a tailor to sort out your gloves...I'm not giving you another pair of mine."

Yeah...there definitely was no rest for the damned after all.

Chapter Text

Now, Yvaine was really not having a good morning, actually, no, scratch that, that actually seemed like the understatement of a century. It had started when she had been awoken by her sharpshooter complaining that her open wounds had bled all over his new bedding, and had gotten it all over him because of his own affinity to cling to her like a leech in the night, forcing her to go out into Ketterdam to get him some new sheets, even though it didn't feel like it mattered considering there was a very good chance that he'd never actually sleep on them if they all died in the bloody Fold.

Of course, things seemed to only get worse from there, within the shadow summoner, full of festering anxieties stealing whatever her grubby little hands could get a hold of and almost getting shot at twice. And that included, unfortunately, one of Inej's boots while she was still wearing them, which resulted in Yvaine being threatened with a knife before the wraith started fussing over the bruises that decorated her face...before Jesper strolled down the stairs and started to have another go at her about the state of her clothes, which were in fact, his that he was saving for a special occasion.

There was also the problem of Brekker being nastier than usual, spitting venom into every dark corner to the point she was genuinely suprised that the whole Slat didn't agree to some form of uprising against him.

And then, finally, they all had left the comfort of their home to meet with the conductor, a small, greedy looking man who's eyes seemed to linger upon the darkness held prisoner in her own before he was distracted with the burden of their plan to capture the Sun Summoner by Dirtyhands himself.  And then they had rode a carriage to find Nina Zenik, another bloody heartrender that Arken had insisted upon finding, as apparently, she was the key into getting them into the little Palace...only when they arrived at the Inn she appeared to be staying in, it was to find that some Drüskelle had gotten to her already.

So, all in all, it truly was shaping up to be a fantastic plan, but when she had voiced such thoughts aloud she truly did believe that for a second, Kaz was about to cave her skull in with his cane by the dangerous look in his eyes. How much kruge was truly worth all of this, Yvaine found herself questioning, because one million felt far too short of a price for the absolute hell they were about to face...and its not even like she was going to see that kruge herself, of course she wasn't, her share of the money was going to her darling wraith, not that the girl knew of course, but the deal had already been struck with Brekker, and there was no taking it back now.

And so, that lead her to where she was now, walking just a few steps behind Brekker, her boss, The bastard of the Barell, just as she always did. Set to meet with the others at a wreckage of a skiff northeast, on the edge of town, with Jesper and Inej on their own missions to buy twenty pounds of alabaster coal and locate a peck of majdaloun...leaving herself and Kaz with a rather odd job indeed.

And as if it knew she was thinking about it, the goat, or better yet, the bait, suddenly made a noise in the safety of Brekker's arm who's brow twitched at such a sound as he limped along with the shadow of Yvaine licking at his heels, her dark gaze unwavering from the little beast...idly wondering what kind of noise it would make if she bit it. Not that she ever would of course, she may have committed many a sin in her life, but she wasn't all that keen to add animal cruelty upon that list...well, excluding that time she'd shot a pigeon, but she'd repented for that sin by becoming a supplier of bread for those winged rats.

However, as she'd previously alluded to, she just couldn't tear her eyes away from the creature, the goat dangling limply in the crook of her bosses elbow...and it was for one reason, and one reason only.

"You do know Jesper is going to want to keep that thing, right? Anything cute and pathetic looking and he practically calls dibs." She finally broke through the silence to say what had been weighing on her mind the moment Kaz had picked the young goat like a lamb to slaughter. Because her dear sharpshooter was rather sentimental, not that she had much room to talk, but considering his room was overfilled with trinkets that she'd stolen for him in passing over the year, including an assortment of Teddy bears that most definitely did not belong to some merchants child, it was safe to assume he won such competition.

However, as per usual, Kaz didn't look fazed in the slightest, not even missing a step as he continued upon his path like a soldier sent to battle, that dark set to his brows warning those a mile off to advert their gazes and keep out of his way if they wanted to actually keep their limbs. Though, in truth, the shadow summoner found it rather hard to take such a look seriously at the moment, considering a few minutes ago, she had heard him speak in the most convincing country accent she'd ever heard to haggle down the price of their bait when it became evident that they were going to run into some problems stealing it.

That, and the fact he was holding their well spent kruge like a baby swaddled in his coat really didn't paint him as such an intimidating picture.

"Jesper is going to have to learn to live with disappointment. We don't have room for anymore of his strays." He said swiftly, voice as rough as smoke and just as suffocating as he shot her a sharp look out of the corner of his eye...almost as if he could hear her very thoughts as she scowled up at him, resisting the childish urge to flick his stupid hat off his head. The sun was beginning to dim now, hiding beneath the peak of clouds still forming in the skies, and with it the promise of darkness began to loom over her like a threat...reminding her again of just what was at stake.

Perhaps the sharpshooter wouldn't even get a chance to try and persuade their boss to keep the goat, and perhaps she was never going to get another chance to add to his still growing collection of stolen goods that she'd take for him as long as her shadows were still apart of her like an echo of all things destructive...however, she was swift to physically shake such thoughts away lest they destoy her completely as she rolled her eyes at the boy in annoyance, debating, once again, just why she hadn't killed him yet. "Dirtypaws was my idea-"

"Oh, I wasn't talking about the dog, darling pick-pocket. What was it you said? Sad and pathetic looking and he just wants to-?"

Bastard, absolute bastard, and yet there was amusement pooling in her gut, churning and twisting beneath her flesh as Yvaine fought off a chuckle by disguising it, rather pathetically, as a cough, forcing herself to finally look away and to the road ahead to not give him the satisfaction...and missing only by a mere moment the smug little twitch at Kaz's lips when he'd glanced down, far to quick for her to catch him, to see the soft flush to her cheeks as she strolled along the uneven road. "First of all, fuck you. And second of all, I said cute...is there something you want to tell me, Brekker? Because I'm flattered, truly but-"

"Another word pick-pocket, and I'll leave you to fend for yourself in the fold." He tutted, cruel voice to the unsuspecting ear a mockery in his tongue as he shot her a glare as she scoffed loudly, baring those sharp teeth of hers to the dying sun that shivered in their wake. As if he'd ever dare, the power lurking beneath her veins was immense, catastrophic and dangerous and still being discovered, she'd tipped the scales on a war she wasn't even truly aware she was apart of...and he couldn't afford to lose her, and it seemed that no one other than himself seemed to realise it.

"You and I both know I'd simply survive out of sheer spite alone. Or my ghost would haunt your own until you'd succumb to madness." She smirked at him, something dark and confident in her gaze because even he knew it to be true, his little pick-pocket was many things, and a survivor was one of her most admirable. Because if he were to ever place a bet on something that he knew he would win, it would always fall to her, the shadow summoner, the forgotten saint, the thorn in his side that had tempted death and fate so many times and had come out victorious.

"Perhaps I'll hold you to that, darling shadow."

And as soon as those words slipped through his lips, nothing more than a mere afterthought to the bastard of the Barell, it was Yvaine that found herself freezing just behind him, for no longer than half a second, a hitch in her chest, foot faltering against the earth as she stared up at the back of his dark hair that continued its journey without a backward glance. For a moment, it was easy to pretend she had imagined it, or perhaps that she had twisted them somehow to sound kinder, to sound softer than they usually did, less like a confession and more like cruel lies with very sharp teeth that bit and bleed like most teeth do.

"You should be careful there Kaz, if I didn't know any better, one might mistake that for sentiment." She recovered quickly, clearing her throat, ignoring the tremors that laced her every word as she picked up the pace until she was beside him once more, refusing to look down at the goat in his arms that was staring up at her unblinking, as if it were taunting her, seeing her moment of weakness when no one else did...and swiftly, after making sure no one was looking, she finally glared down at the small beast and let her shadows consume the white of her eyes completely in an attempt to scare it.

"Well, we certainly can't have that, can we? Now hurry up, we're losing daylight, pick-pocket." Kaz snapped, cane smacking harshly against the ground, each tap seemingly louder than the next until it was all she could hear, drowning out the noises from the market and crowds around them, stealing her away like the thief he was. And it was then that she was finally reminded of the impending journey at hand...which, in turn, left her to wonder just how the others had fared with their tasks.
__________________________________________

"What to you mean you've lost all the money?"

"Look, it's fine- it's fine, I can get back the money- just not now, probably. But I did got the coal-"

"Sixteen pounds of it."

"It's still coal, Yvaine!"

Boom! Boom! Boom! The sound of the explosions stopped the argument in its tracks as Yvaine twisted around and stuck her head out from the carriage door where she and Jesper had hovered, her eyes wide and unblinking at the flash of flaming orange that suddenly cosumed the skies in burning embers, filling the air with screams. And it looked like Jesper had the exact same idea considering she could hear his whimper right by her ear as he leaned over her, before he spun on his heel to gawk at the conductor, who was working with the coal he was given, sweat gleaming across his forehead under the watchful eyes of Inej.

"I thought you said the landmines weren't real."

"I said nothing of the sort, I just said I put the sign up myself. Now both of you, shut the door- quickly-"

Honestly, she doubted the two of them had ever moved faster in their life as the shadow summoner practically threw herself into her seat beside her boss, gaze trained upon Jesper's back as he forced the doors closed, Arken and Kaz instantly beginning to argue some logistics of the journey...however, the second the door slammed shut...everything seemed to just go black as she froze and the everlasting fear crept in as everything faded away before her very eyes. And soom, insanity and terror, such cruel emotions that had ruined her over and over again, that had made her a monster, had made their home inside her once more.

Everything all at once, every anxiety, every fear, everything she had buried under the abyss of her own mind when it had came to this damned plan...was rushing back to the surface to drown her completely.

The darkness was closing in, she could feel it, creeping up beside her, threatening to swallow her whole as the train floor rumbled beneath her feet, the temptation of the fold whispering in her ear as she panted for the breath that had escaped her, that had been stolen from her as she desperately tried not to scream into the abyss. I control the shadows, they do not control me, those words echoed, drifting around the ruins of her mind as she whispered them from her bloodied lips as she rocked, her vision blurring, over and over again as the screeching howls of the volcra came ever closer.

She couldn't do this, she absolutely couldn't do this, it was too dark, it was all too fucking much as the nothingness drowned her, clawed at her, stabbed it's way beneath her flesh and began to bite at her. Sixteen bloody pounds of alabaster coal and they were going to die...Yvaine was going to finally be torn apart by the shadows that condemned her and made her their salvation all in the same breath while her murder of crows were just going to be torn apart if the train came to a stop...all because of the fact her sharpshooter grabbed sixteen pound of alabaster coal instead of twenty like he was supposed to.

Oh, if they somehow managed to survive this by the grace of saints alone then she was going to absolutely kill him.

But then, suddenly, there was a familar weight being forced into her gloved hand, forcing her back into the light as she clutched at the cane resting upon her lap with her bloody teeth bared, grasping it so tightly that she could feel the sharp beak digging into the small hole at the thumb where his little lock-picking tools would once slip out of, now used for the scarred ruin of her flesh to feel something, to feel anything to pull her back from the festering shadows of old and new where the monsters of her own creation laid in wait, laid in wanting for the chance to bring her to the fated damnation she deserved for the sins of her survival.

"Stay with me, pick-pocket...do not leave us in the dark without you." Kaz's rough voice curled around her like an blissful echo, like some kind of mocking embrace as he snarled the order at her dangerously, low and quiet and only a gift for her ears to hear as the carriage continued to groan unapologetically below them, it was a mere miracle alone that she could actually hear him over such ruckus alongside Inej's whispered prayers into her saintly hands as well as Jesper's panicking screams about how they were currently sitting upon a train that didn't actually have any tracks and that he seemed to be the only one upset about it.

"I'm bloody trying-"

"Try harder." He was quick to hiss, no doubt baring his teeth at her like some sort of feral animal and she was quick to turn her head to shoot him a dark glare for his everlasting cruelty...only to freeze as she was burdened to see something she really wished she hadn't. Brekker had stood before her for a year now as some immovable force to her unstoppable object, some immortal terror that's only purpose was to wreak havoc upon the unsuspecting people of Ketterdam...but there, sitting just beside her was merely a boy, with his blue eyes of the rough sea wide and unblinking as they flickered around the cart anxiously.

Sometimes it was easy to forget that he'd once been a child...Yvaine and Jesper liked to speculate in the dark nights with only the flickering light of her candles to hold them that he'd crawled out of his mother in an ill fitted suit and a hateful scowl, usually before their darling wraith would slip in with her pockets full of sweets, the three crowding upon a too-small bed giggling until the early morning when Kaz would finally awaken and order them away. But looking at him now, suddenly, all she could see was a boy that had been forced into shoes far too big for his feet and forced to make do with the burden of survival.

"Brekker...if we don't make it- if we can't make it-"

"Shut up, pick-pocket, I don't have time for your bastard last wishes-"

"If we can't make it by coal alone, Kaz...we'll find a way. I'll find away." She swore solemnly, her word gospel as she looked up at him, her bottomless black gaze holding him prisoner as they stared at one another with the damnation outside fading to nothing more than white noise. And she was aware of what she was promising him, aware of what she was willing to do if the carriage stopped and let the horrors of the fold be unleashed upon them, their murder of crows, her family, her heart and soul and something else entirely, but she stood by it...if the carriage stopped, she would show the fold something new.

She was the monster who had bathed the whole of Ketterdam in darkness when her grief had overwhelmed her, she was the creature who had torn down ships upon Dirtyhands orders, she was the horror who could move mountains, crush stars, split the sun itself into halves because who on earth could dare to even attempt to stop her. She was the shadow summoner who had survived in a world that had desperately tried to swallow her into an abyss of rot and she'd come out with blood in her teeth and godhood in her splintered veins. She would not fear the likes of mans creation when she had suffered more than the fucking saints themselves.

The cane in her grip gave a sudden tremor, twisting just slightly in her gloved hands but never removing itself from her trembling grip, never daring to even try, but the movement was enough for Yvaine to tear herself away from those dark and dangerous thoughts to look back to Kaz in steely determination, who hadn't even thought to pull his gaze away for even a moment. "We're getting our kruge, Dirtyhands, we haven't survived this long to simply die here in the fucking fold because of sixteen pounds of alabaster coal."

And it was then, finally, that he gave her a singular terse nod after a minute of vile tension, a dark strand of hair falling over his paling forehead and sticking against the sweat-soaked flesh it found there as he squared his shoulders, forcing his eyes away and letting that mere second of vulnerability, of weakness, disappear into the ashes as quickly as it had come through, like it wasn't even there in the first place which is exactly how he liked it. Instead, he turned his head to glare dangerously down at the conductor beside him who was nervously muttering calculations under his breath. "How do we fight the volcra off?"

"We don't. I outrun them."

"And what happens when you can't outrun them?" The shadow summoner snapped, feeling very much like a wet cloth rung dry but still being squeezed even though she had nothing fucking left, but just as Arken was about to answer, there was a loud squeal that tore through the air like a blade to flesh, alongside a wall shaking thud, a sickening squelch that was very familar for the murderers and saints confined to four small walls that were only getting smaller.

"Damn it! The stupid thing impaled itself on a spike. Get it off, the others will stand on it. More coal!"

"We're down to fumes!" Kaz shouted in frustration, throwing the dirty sack into the flames and not even looking behind him as it went up into smoke, joining the embers burning away in the darkness around them. But the conductor didn't even spare him a glance, far too busy still talking to himself in quiet whispers, still trying to calculate the journey, trying to figure out a way in which they all somehow survived...but coming up empty as he swiftly realised that they wouldn't make it with the weight they were carrying...and without the four pounds of coal that they had so desperately needed.

"This is how we die? This is how we die!" Jesper laughed hysterically, his pretty face set in a grimace, dark hands seemingly unable to keep still as he twisted the material of his pants between long fingers, pinching and pulling, rubbing the palms of his hands against the rough fabric over and over again. They were going to die, they were actually going to fucking die, it was no longer a possibility, a maybe, a good chance...it was now just the cold ruthless and bloody truth.

"Jesper, grab the goat."

"I’m not throwing out the goat!" He screamed, shaking with unbridled rage at the mere suggestion, sweat dripping down his dark skin as anger burned him up from the inside. And really, if they were in any situation other than the one they were currently stuck in, the shadow summoner would have started gleefully cackling in Brekker's face by now about how she had told him so...and instead, here she was, on the verge of another panic attack as the walls began to close in on her once more, the fear so heavy in the air that she was practically choking on it as the tensions rose.

"Grab the damn goat! It’s not bait. It’s for you! I need you to calm down, hug the goat, shut the hell up."

"Talk to him like that again and I'll fucking throw you out to the Volcra myself." Yvaine suddenly hissed, trembling from limb to limb but by no means any less threatening as she glared at the conductor through dark lashes, the very warning a threat on her tongue, dangerous and deadly and as black as the night sky. But it was like the sharpshooter hadn't heard a word of it as he hugged the coat close to his chest, marveling at how soft if felt against his skin as he pressed his face against it, rubbing against the fur as if it were the finest silk and not some dirty fucking animal they had picked up by mere chance.

"There are more things at bloody stake than how I speak to the boy-"

"Not to me." She snapped ferociously like a tiger protecting its cub, gloved fingers seizing, spasming with agonizing cramps under the comfort of the leather as she bared her teeth in an attempt to bare it but coming up short, not now, she pleaded, please good God not now, she prayed, but whenever had the saints listened to the weary and the damned? However, just when it appeared that the man was about to strike back, not looking for a fight but most definitely about to get one if he kept running that disgusting thing he called a mouth, there was a abrupt noise that had him paling even more than he already was.

"We should have hit that 20 seconds ago."

"20 seconds is?"

"My timings are precise to get us outside. Even 20 seconds behind means the train stops inside the Fold and…that means we die." And almost as quickly as he'd said it, it was like fate had decided to simply prove him right as more dreadful thumps and ear-splitting shrieks joined the others, the carriage shaking from left to right as they were surrounded by the beasts that were salivating for their sickly pounds of flesh. But then his beady stare was upon them all, staring them down as the haunting screams grew louder. "There's more coming, so you may want to make your peace."

Make your peace, the conductor said, and the second that suggestion flowed from his trembling lips, Brekker's gaze was upon her as his face snapped to the side, searing her skin with something she couldn't place, couldn't name, couldn't even dare to as she slammed the back of her head against the wall behind her, begging for the pain to pull her back from the abyss she'd fallen into. Her mere breath shallow and terrified as death moved closer and closer, waiting patiently for the murder of crows who had escaped it far too many times, and now here it was, coming to finally claim it's prize. "Yvaine-"

"I know. I know, Kaz. Just- just get ready, the second the train stops, you need to grab the Jesper and Inej and run and don't stop, not matter what you see or what you hear until you get out. I'll hold them off for as long as I can-"

"That's your plan, a sacrifice play." He scoffed, the noise low and snarling, grating on her ears as she frantically tried to shake the feeling back into her tormented hands that were choosing the wrong fucking moment to torment her with numbness. She didn't know why he sounded so suprised, she could hear it, hidden beneath his cruel tongue, but she couldn't find it in herself to make a joke about such a rarity...they were all running out of time, and if she had to make a choice between herself and them, she knew exactly who it would be, time and time again...she would ruin herself into nothing more than dust if it meant Jesper and Inej were safe.

"Yes, it is, we don't have the luxury of any other options-"

"Then you find another way." Kaz finally snapped, rough voice raw and tight as he spat the order like it had been ripped from his throat by a higher being, striking against fragile flesh and dripping with stinging a venom that left her frozen when he slammed his cane against the train floor, the resonating bang swallowed by the pounding of her heart as he in leaned closer, so close that their breath mingled in the harsh heat of the carriage, staring into her dark eyes with his own that were as wild and as feral as the beasts howling above them, just as hungry and just as bloodthirsty as he was.

But in that moment, there was something different about his cruelty, something strange about that vengeful hatred in his gaze that had been made prisoner to spite...something that was wavering and desperate, that made her feel like they were both already dead and gone as he focused upon her with a look that burned, ignoring the carnage around them, ignoring the fear, the prayers for saints that had long since abandoned them...simply keeping his deadly stare fixed upon her...like she was the last thing he wanted to see before they were torn apart by the creatures made by monstrosity.

"We go together, pick-pocket...or we don't go at all. Now do something."

The shadows squirmed, dancing around the ruin of her fingers, swallowing the bile in her throat, the terror in her gut because he was right, she had made a promise, and she had swore to herself that she would no longer play the sacrificial lamb to those who didn't deserve her mercy. And yet...and yet no matter how hard she tried, no matter how hard she begged herself to just move, she couldn't, it wouldn't. Her body had frozen itself to the seat as the door to the carriage suddenly swung open and she finally bore witness to the abyss of the fold that glared back at her, that swallowed everything in its path, that held her prisoner in it's gaze as she stilled.

Because she could hear it whispering to her, overpowering her like a siren song calling her to home, as the screams of the crows faded into nothing, as she leaned in closer with tears gathering in her eyes as everything became dark, as everything became insignificant to the darkness that was as disgusting and as ugly as she was in the inside. And when Yvaine blinked, it was as though she was a child again, forced into the cage, howling and begging as the black gloom bit and scratched and peft bloodied ruin in its wake, as Deverous leered at her, telling her horror stories of the Fold and what it would do to the shadow that had escaped her fate.

And just like that, she was gone, stuck in a trance, intertwined with destruction like it was an intimate embrace as the sound of gunshots cutting through the air to meet Volcra with steel merely became a haunting lullaby to her ears, as the world because quiet, as fear finally possessed her completely, as she leaned closer and closer and closer to the darkness awaiting her outside...before suddenly, the door was slammed shut, and she startled, forced back into her conscious to meet the horrified eyes of Inej who had pressed her own body against the door, to feel the cane bracketed against her chest like a chain holding her down to home.

"What the hell was that about, Yvaine?"

It was Jesper who snapped, but she didn't have an answer for him, for any of them because she could barely even describe what she'd felt herself as she looked at the holes now riddling the carriage as if seeing them for the first time with the scent of gunpowder and death thick in the air like heavy sin, her entire body trembling, heaving, quite literally sobbing as blood filled her mouth and dripped down her chin in rives of crimson promise...but then, suddenly, far too quick for the others to notice...her shadows began to mount around her like a mocking saint, hooking under her skin like a fucking warning as something above them all snarled.

And within a mere blink, Yvaine was finally, finally standing upon her own burdened legs that released themselves from their frozen seizing, her face transforming into something furious and hateful as she forced her ruined hands forwards, and a sharp spike of winding shadow lunged for the ceiling, missing the Zemeni boy by a inch...before it embedded itself into the skull of the volcra that had loomed over her sharpshooter's shoulder.

The damned head rolled, landing upon the floor with an echoing thump in front of her, its dying squeal lost in the suffocating silence, staring down at the monster as it glared up at her in accusation with a pretty hole torn right through it. And for a second, the girl found herself frozen again, breath catching in the ruin of her throat at the terror that began to maim her...because there were only three people in this world that knew about her divine devastation, about the unfiltered power that ran through her veins instead of holy blood...and she had swore to herself that that wouldn't change for anyone...not after everything she had endured.

Guilty or innocent, monster or saint...her shadows were her own, and no one was going to take that from her ever again.

However...as Yvaine turned to face the conductor, readying herself to slaughter what needed to be silenced for her devoted survival, consequences be damned, it was to find the man already unconscious, head slumped back against the furnace, just shying away from the dying embers with a rather large lump upon his forehead, a hideous concussion of reds forming a thick line of a rather familiar bruise. Because she recognised the shape of it, would recognise it blind, after centuries of only herself in darkness, it had been placed upon her ruined flesh enough for her to do so...and yet she finally looked over her shoulder anyway.

Because just as he always did, Kaz Brekker didn't look inconvenienced in the slightest at the blood coating his cane like a crimson promise, that dangerous thing that moments prior had been used to pull her away from damnation, already tucking it back to his side as the carriage finally rolled to a slow stop far away from what had almost been their death, where she could no longer hear the haunting whispers of the fold to tempt her as the light danced in through the hole ridden train like a caress. Instead, there was something else tempting her indeed, and his name rhymed with Baz as he looked up to her with a quirk to his brow and a twist to pale lips.

But whatever he was about to say was suddenly interrupted by familar arms wrapping around her, a embrace that felt like home as she was pulled off her feet and twirled around in a rather restricted circle, unable to stop the squealing laughter that ripped itself from her lips as they stumbled around the small space with the goat staring up at her enviously. And when she was eventually placed back down upon her own two feet, dizzy and loved and all things in between, Jesper clutched her close with his warm hands upon her shoulders, her beacon of light in the everlasting darkness as he grinned brightly.

"Don't think we're not going to talk about whatever the hell that was gorgeous, but saints you were incredible there! I could fucking kiss you!"

And just as he leaned in to no doubt press his lips against her forehead as he usually did, there was a abrupt noise next to them that seemed far too close for comfort...and when Yvaine glanced down it was to find the familar end of a cane laid between the two, hovering infront of her stomach, almost resting there for half a second...before it was cruelly pushed into the sharpshooters chest who was shoved away with an undignified yelp as Brekker stepped forward. "Let's save the sentiments for later, Jesper. We still have a job to do, so start being useful, grab the conductor and begin moving."

The shadow summoner was the first to move, ignoring the way her heart continued to pound beneath the thin skin of her birdcage chest, each thump painful and terrible in the ruin of her corpse as she moved away from the tall bastard. But as she took a step towards the door, she was suddenly pulled away by Jesper who was looking at them all like they'd lost their minds, grey eyes wild and large hands flailing around dramatically. "Now wait a minute, how do we know we're definitely out of the Fold? For all we know he could of only got us to a certain point before someone knocked him out- hey!"

Honestly, Yvaine really didn't know why she was suprised that Kaz had pushed the Zemeni boy from the carriage and into the unforgiving earth below, who was currently making some rather worrying sounds as the wind was knocked right out of him, laying upon his back and wheezing as the rest of them crawled out of the train and looked at the rather sad sight before them. However, the bastard of the Barell only waited half a second before he was limping away from them all, goat in arm, just as Jesper leaned up upon his elbows to stare off after their boss with a scowl.

"He's still pissed about the bloody coal, isn't he?"

"What? Kaz? Hold a grudge? Never." Inej smiled, brilliant teeth shining as they bared down to the sharpshooter as she offered him her hand and swiftly pulled him up as he grumbled and complained. And when he was finally standing, she took the moment to thank him softly as he smiled down at their gentle wraith and pressed his forehead against hers, murmuring something the shadow summoner didn't catch as she stared out into darkness, unable to truly tear her eyes away as the sound of howling monsters danced around her ears like an omen, like a mocking promise for things that were about to come.

Because crossing the Fold was supposed to be the hard part, the dangerous part, the whole tempting death part of this entire heist, the one she had felt most completely as a shiver struck her spine like lightning...so why did the shadow summoner feel that from here, everything was only about to get so much worse.