Archive of Our Own ^beta

It's time you learned a lesson

It's time that you understand

“How does it feel, Ito?” Junpei drawled.

He got no response, seeing as Ito was struggling to even take a breath with Moon Dregs’ tentacle wrapped around his neck.

Putting his hands in his pockets, he leaned down to look up at Ito’s face, “What’s wrong? Something got your tongue?”

Ito let out a raspy sound and Junpei hummed, before straightening his back. Even with a lack of oxygen, the bastard had managed to let out a weak ‘why?’.

“Why?” Junpei fake-pouted, before breaking out into a cackle. “Isn’t that always the question?”

Junpei regarded Ito for a moment, before tightening Moon Dreg’s tentacle around his neck. The nerve this scumbag had to ask him something so ignorant and unworthy of a response.

“Even when faced with death, you’ll do anything to feign innocence,” Junpei cocked his head to the side, a snarl on his face as he watched Ito’s face turn a bright red.

Pulling his mom’s jacket tighter around him, he grimaced, “Why? Because you deserve it.”

Don't ever count on anybody else 

In this or any other land

Junpei realized he couldn’t count on his father when he was 7. His father’s presence and contribution to their home wasn’t something he had given much thought to until he’d started listening to his parents’ arguments. 

His mom was either talking about one of two things: how his father was never home or how he wasn’t giving her enough money. Both of those arguments made sense, considering he only saw his mother spending her money and his dad was always away on business trips and even when he wasn’t, he couldn’t find time for either of them. 

His dad would make empty promises of going places or coming to Junpei’s games or after-school events and would never follow through. Eventually, Junpei learned to take his words with a grain of salt and learned to stop caring that the other kids at school were always doing things with their families, while his family wasn’t really one at all. He stopped crying whenever his dad never showed up and focused on trying to help his mother after their inevitable divorce.

His mother was stressed, as was expected, and Junpei tried his best to not be a burden. Since she’d had to pick up more shifts at her job, Junpei had to get his own food for dinner some nights of the week. Even if she’d forgotten to feed him dinner because she’d fallen asleep, he’d get his own food rather than wake her up. He also got himself ready in the mornings without her help and took care of his schoolwork without her prompting.  He did his part in the house, trying his best to keep it clean by dusting and wiping down the counters and tables with rags.

And one night, after he’d realized he’d have to put himself to bed again because his mother was exhausted from work, he’d realized he was also exhausted. He’d done his school work for an hour after school, before cleaning up around the house, then he’d had to get his own dinner. At this point, he could go a whole day without his mom being home and nothing would change. If his dad was there, his mom wouldn’t have to work so hard and he wouldn’t have to do these things on his own. But he wasn’t. He was just another stranger that neither he nor his mother could trust.

I once hoped for friendship, to find a place among my kind

But those were the childish wishes of someone who was blind 

Junpei realized his friendship opportunities were slim when he was 8. 

His story was the typical one: trying to fit in and not being able to well enough. 

The kids were concerned with things that his mother didn’t have the money to buy him, such as new toys and games, and they didn’t understand the old movies he referenced since that’s all his mom had for him to watch. The kids would complain about the clothes and shoes their parents picked out for them to wear and Junpei couldn’t relate because his mom didn’t have time in the morning to help him with those things. They talked of outings with their families and Junpei wondered if two people could make a family. 

And Junpei didn’t hide the fact that he didn’t have what they had. Whenever they asked, he would be honest and say that his dad wasn’t around or that he got himself ready in the morning. Some thought him lucky, thinking he had more freedom than them, and others pitied him. The rest didn’t interact with him, for whatever reasons they held.

He’s sure if he had gone to another elementary school things may have turned out differently, but he knew his mom didn’t have the time to fill out transfer forms, so he said nothing and pretended that he wasn’t miserable being all on his lonesome. 

Open up your eyes, see the world from where I stand

Me among the mighty, you caged at my command

Power radiated off him as he stood on the stage, bodies on the floor and Ito in his grasp. Grinning to himself, he decided that while he was there, he might as well have some fun. Moon Dregs started generating poison, wrapping its tentacles around Ito’s torso and left leg. It didn’t take long for him to start thrashing about, his screams echoing around the gym. 

Maybe the pain would snap him out of his little popular kid’s delusion and into reality. The truth was that the real world was all about pain and he’d make sure that Ito learned that.

It didn’t take long before he could see the smoke starting to rise from Ito’s body and the red marks forming on his skin. The smell of burning flesh was in the air and Junpei inhaled it. He had never felt more satisfied in his life. Turning to the rest of the gym, he decided he would make quick work of that idiotic teacher...and maybe a couple others just because he could. Mahito had told him that he had time, so why not?

Open up your eyes, give up your sweet fantasyland

It's time to grow up and get wise, come now little one

The gym door slammed open and his eyes moved to see Itadori Yuuji, the jujutsu sorcerer.  

Itadori Yuuji….

He was like a dream to Junpei, something idealistic, unrealistic, and impractical. Being around him had made him feel like a child again, caught up in a new world full of possibilities and wants. Itadori made him want .

But in the end, Itadori was blind too. His positive outlook on life was fun in the moment, but eventually, reality must take over. 

“What are you doing, Junpei?!”

Rolling his eyes at the look on Itadori’s face, he scoffed.

He would just have to wisen up him as well.

Open up your eyes

We all start out the same, with simple naive trust 

Shielded from the many ways that life's not fair or just

He was 10 when he realized he couldn’t trust anyone else but his mom.

In retrospect, if he had listened to her, it could’ve been prevented. She had always told him to watch who he hung around, but at the first opportunity of social interaction, he’d accepted and accompanied a group of teenagers to the side of an abandoned highway. 

He’d gotten ahead of himself, seeing too many possibilities of new friends and companionship, which is why he didn’t decline and go home. He guessed that their age and size were things that impressed him, seeing as they were 3-4 years older than him. Also, they talked of adult things that interested him, such as jobs and money and doing their own laundry.

So, he let his guard down. He blatantly showed awe at their topics of conversation and they fed off it, continuing to try and impress him. They showed him the cigarettes they carried around, though they didn’t give him any, and they talked about owning weapons. One kid even said they owned a gun, which had made him slightly scared, before he was assured the kid didn’t have it with him at the moment. Then, things started seeming scarier than Junpei had expected.

Some kid next to him pulled out a switchblade, twirling it about as their friend told them to put it away. He didn’t understand how it happened, but he knew he’d closed his eyes as his right eyelid stung, before liquid started to drip down his face.

Blood.

Blood was dripping down his face—

His eye—

He screamed.

The kids scattered.

But then there comes a moment, a simple truth that you must face

If you depend on others, you'll never find your place

He had let his tears water the grass until he realized that he would have to find his way home eventually. Standing up, he could see his hand was covered in blood and tears and his face probably looked the same. Wiping away at his eye gently with his sleeve, he started his journey home.

When he entered the house, his mother had screamed. She rushed up to him, falling to her knees as she held his face in her hands. That had been enough for him to break down, telling her everything as she held him, kissing his face despite it being covered with salt, blood, and dirt.  

She cleaned him up, later talking to the school, though they claimed no action could be taken because Junpei had no proof that it hadn’t been him playing around with a sharp object. Despite her anger at the school, Junpei faced his own punishment. He hadn’t been allowed to leave the house except for when he went to school for the rest of the month. No walks, no trips, no outings. It seemed less of a punishment for him and more of an assurance for her that he was safe. 

One day, he took a longer route home so he could spend more time outside. This required him to go through the back of the school. He’d heard the scuffling before he turned the corner, but he’d assumed that it was just some boys rough-housing like they usually did. Instead, he turned the corner to see a 3-on-1 beatdown, involving 2 boys, a girl, and...the kid who had scarred him.

He was getting beaten up pretty bad from the looks of it, and one of the boys was recording the whole thing. As Junpei observed the scene, he made eye contact with the kid. Junpei saw the plea behind those eyes, the silent begging for help, and he turned around to take his regular route home.

And as you take that first step, upon a path that's all your own

That had been Junpei’s first taste of apathy and after that, he couldn’t get enough. It was freeing, to not feel anything. He wasn’t glad that the boy had gotten beat up, but on the other hand, he didn’t feel bad for him either. He simply didn’t care.

Instead of being tossed around by emotions and letting them get the best of him, apathy kept them in check and things became easier than he’d ever thought. He was never angry, or sad, except when he was watching movies or was with his mother. He was untouchable, unshakeable, invulnerable. 

Apathy was his protector.

You see it all so clearly, the best way to survive is all alone

Apathy died when his mother did.

How could he feel nothing after finding half of her body on the dining room floor? He’d gotten rid of it, realizing he didn’t need it anymore. Not when he could protect himself better than apathy ever could. He had his poison, his Moon Dregs, and a renewed rage that had settled deep in his core.

As he headed down the road to the school, Junpei realized that this was his destiny. He had been born to be alone.

Open up your eyes and see the world from where I stand 

Me among the mighty, you caged at my command

Itadori was relentless in both his physical attacks and his will to convince Junpei that this wasn’t him. He would’ve rolled his eyes if he had the time.

They had only watched a movie together and then somehow, Itadori knew everything about him?

He kept talking about how what he was doing was ‘wrong’ and how whatever the problem was, they could solve it together. 

Who knew two people could solve years of bullying and a dead mother.

Itadori was struggling to realize what Junpei had already accepted: that he was meant to be alone and miserable, cursed to be forever vengeful. A good future had never been in the cards for him, ever since his childhood. Just because Yuuji was such a bright person doesn’t mean that he should’ve let himself get infected by his optimism. After their meeting, he had thoughts of ‘having friends’ and ‘trusting people’ circulating around in his head.

Shaking his head, he focused. The past was forever ago.

Open up your eyes and behold the fading light 

It's time to grow up and get wise, come now little one 

Open up your eyes

“Grow up!” Junpei shouted as they came to a standstill near a stairwell. He had been punched out a window and back through the same window and he was tired . 

“Why can’t you just accept that the world isn’t what you want it to be? Not everything is going to turn out right and not everyone is going to act the way you want.” Junpei sighed.  “Yuuji, you need to get over yourself and open your eyes.”

As he was talking, he could see Yuuji’s face crumple into an expression that Junpei could best describe as heartbroken. His eyes were glassy, his mouth was quivering, and—

Junpei didn’t mean for any of this to happen.

A chuckle from behind him. Mahito.

“You know, you could stand to take your own advice.”

Open up your eyes

A hand on his shoulder, then black.

“Junpei!”