Chapter Text

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January 8, 2021 - Friday / 22.43

It was Rosh and Ayub’s fault, really. They forced him to go out and they were hanging out because “Simon, you really should stop sulking in your room and live a little," they said. Wille had told him he loved him and in return, he wished him a merry Christmas. He really felt like a fool. He couldn’t say the words at that moment. The problem is he couldn’t stop thinking about him and the words were playing in his brain nonstop. He didn’t know what to do anymore except think about their moments together again and again. So, he finally gave in and met his friends.

However, he wasn’t expecting another guy, with a rainbow pin on his jacket. As if Ayub and Rosh’s plan wasn’t obvious enough. He seemed very interested but all Simon could do was be polite and answer his questions without seeming interested. He couldn’t even think about another guy when Wille’s love confession was all he could think about. But here he is; he is in front of his house with the guy. Ayub and Rosh left him with the guy and the guy insisted he could drop him off at his house and Simon had to accept his offer. Now, here they are, in front of Simon’s house. He tries to get rid of him but the guy doesn’t take the hint and leave.

“I had a nice time. Maybe we could do that again.”

“Thanks, but I am not looking for someone at the moment.”

“Is it because of the prince?”

“What?”

“The video. Umm. I saw it, sorry. It was the prince, wasn’t it? He denied it but I don’t believe it.”

“No, it wasn’t. And you really should go.”

“It was me!” yells Wille, and Simon is frozen in place. He didn’t see him coming and his confession shocks him.

“Wille, what the hell are you doing?”

“I am just telling the truth.”

Simon can’t believe his ears. Clearly, Wille is on something. He couldn’t have admitted that otherwise, right? Simon sends the guy away; he doesn’t have proof of Wille admitting it anyway. He approaches Wille, who has a hard time standing up.

“Wille, Wille, did you take something again? Are you okay?” asks Simon, concern visible in his voice. He is having flashbacks.
“I didn’t. I just drank. A lot. The pain didn’t go away though.”

Simon feels his heart ache. This boy. “Let’s get inside. Come on.”

Simon ushers them to his room. The Crown Prince showing up drunk at their place is something he can’t explain to his mom right now.

Simon drops Wille on his bed and makes him sit up and drink a glass of water. He can’t help but remember the last time they were here, happy in their little bubble. Wille slurs his words but tries to speak.

“I tried to be brave, you know. I told the press that it was me. I was brave for us. I was brave for you. I knew what I wanted. I didn’t want to lie anymore. I wanted to be with you. I did whatever I could not to lose you but I lost you anyway.”

Simon’s heart clenches but he doesn’t understand anything. Did Wille come out to the public? He couldn’t have missed that, could he? He grabs his phone and searches the net just in case but he doesn’t find anything close to “Crown Prince comes out.”.

Wille needs to sleep and rest now. He is in no condition to speak. He can’t wait to ask Wille tomorrow what he means by that and he dozes off at the end of the bed away from Wille because he can’t be near him right now.

January 9, Saturday / 08.23

Wille finds himself in an unfamiliar yet so familiar place. His head hurts so much. He tries to remember last night. He tries to remember where he was and what he was doing. He remembers stalking Simon’s Instagram again. He missed him so much. There weren’t any new pictures, so he checked Sara, Ayub, and Rosh’s Instagram too. Because he was that desperate. What he found wasn’t what he expected, though. Rosh posted a story and there was a new guy next to Simon. His heart clenched. He couldn’t help but notice the guy’s rainbow pin on his jacket. Simon found someone “out and proud” opposite of what Wille is. Someone who could yell from the rooftops how lucky he is to have Simon. He tried to be that person but he couldn’t even do that right.

He opened his eyes and started to take in his surroundings. He saw Simon sleeping like an angel at the other end of the bed and it clicked. How he got there and what he said. He made a fool of himself. Again. He tried to straighten up and Simon stirred a little. He has already hurt Simon a lot. What was he thinking? Showing up here drunk... He clearly wasn’t. He needs to go without being noticed by Simon. He tried to get up and leave but was startled by Simon’s soft voice.

"Hey, what are you doing? Were you gonna leave without saying goodbye?"

“Umm. I am sorry. I did it again. I showed up drunk at your door. You told me what you wanted. I should have respected that. I really didn’t want to bother you. I just...” He doesn’t finish his sentence. “I just missed you," he doesn’t say.

“You are not. You are not bothering me, Wille. I never said I didn’t want to see you again. And you cannot leave without giving me an explanation, though.”

“There is nothing to explain. I was drunk and ended up here.”

“No, you said you tried to be brave and you told the press or something. What does that mean? There isn’t anything on the net."

“Yeah that. Umm, I called the press and gave my statement that it was me in the video and if that wasn’t obvious already, I am not straight bla bla bla. But it didn’t make it. It wasn’t live, and mom intervened, and they never released my statement. I couldn’t even do that right.”

Simon tries to take in what Wille said. This was huge. Even if it didn’t make it, he felt pride in how brave Wille was.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“It wouldn’t matter.”

“It wouldn’t matter? How could you say that?”

“What’s the point anyway? You have clearly moved on and I-” His eyes start to get teary.

“Hold on, wait. I moved on?”

“Yes? You were with that guy yesterday and I thought—” He really tries not to cry in front of Simon, but that isn’t very successful.

“And you thought I had moved on.” Simon is beyond surprised. Just because he didn’t want to be secret, Wille thought he could forget about him so easily.

“I saw his rainbow pin. He was out and proud, unlike me. You deserve to be with someone—”

“I love you, Wille," says Simon cordially and irreversibly. He couldn’t bear the thought of this golden boy thinking about so little of himself, so replaceable.

“You do?” says Wille, surprise and hope clear in his voice.

“Of course I do. How can you think I don’t?”

“But you didn’t say it back and I thought—”

“We were saying goodbye. I couldn’t say it back then. I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Oh.”

Simon wipes Wille’s tears with his thumbs. He leans in and gives him a chaste kiss. Wille reaches for him desperately and it feels like he can finally breathe again. He smiles at Simon lovingly and he kisses him again. And again.

When they finally get enough of each other, Wille looks him in the eyes, their foreheads touching, hands intertwined, he says it again. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you more," says Simon.

They smile at each other, giddy and drunk from love.

January 9, Saturday / 09.17

They are cuddling on the bed, with Wille laying his head on Simon’s chest, his favorite place. Simon was playing with Wille’s hair. Wille is playing with Simon’s fingers. They are compensating for all their lost time. Simon is looking at the ceiling, clearly thinking.

“Hey, what are you thinking?”

“I was just... I am so angry. It is so unfair what they did to you. Not letting you come out is one thing but this... They took away your freedom of speech. They took away your right to be who you are and who you want to be.”

“I know. But I did my best. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

"Actually, I have something in mind, if you’re still sure.”

Wille points to their tangled limbs, leans in, and kisses Simon softly.

“Do I look like I am not sure?” he chuckles.

Simon would give anything to make him smile like that, but they have to communicate like they always do. “No, but seriously. I don’t wanna pressure you or anything. That was never my intention. Are you one hundred percent sure?”

“I am sure. One thousand percent."

Simon smiles lovingly at Wille. “That is a lot, you know?”

“Oh really? You are really good at math; I forgot.” Their jaws start to ache from smiling so much but they can’t help it.

“I am sure; I think that’s settled but how are we gonna do it? I tried to give an interview but it didn’t work.”

“Have you ever heard of something called Instagram? Now that I think about it, I think you heard it. Since you stalked me and liked my picture from six months ago.”

“What? No, I did no such thing.” Wille feels his cheeks go red. He knew denying wouldn’t do anything since his face was giving away everything.

“Yes, you did.”

Wille hides his face in Simon’s chest again. This became a regular thing for him anyway.

“Are you really that embarrassed because you stalked me?” Simon is enjoying this more than he should.

“A little.” Wille still couldn’t look him in the eyes. He remembers that night. He took the like back immediately but Simon saw it anyway.

“We literally have a sex tape together.”

Wille groans and hides his face deeper. “Oh my god! You did not just say that.”

“Admit it. It is a little funny.”

Wille tries to keep a straight face but fails. They both start to laugh at that. Unable to hold their laughter. Wille realizes how much he has missed this and how much he missed him. How easy it was to be with him. How peaceful he felt around him. He almost lost this. He puts his hands on Simon’s cheeks and gives him a long, breath-taking kiss. Simon kisses back immediately.

“What was that for?”

“I am just happy. To be here and with you.”

“He is gonna be the death of me.” Simon thinks but doesn’t say anything. He feels overwhelmed by the love pouring from this precious boy. How generous he is in showing his love for him. He feels so lucky to have him and he is sure Wille feels the same way.

January 9, Saturday / 13.07

Wille is flipping his phone in his hand. He is ready and sure, just as he has said to Simon. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t be nervous about it. They have talked about what they are going to do. It was what they both agreed on.

“Are you really comfortable with us doing that on live?” Simon asks.

Wille looks him in the eye and says, "Yes," without skipping a beat. He is far from having second thoughts. His determined voice satisfies Simon and he doesn’t ask further.

“Can I ask for something before?”

“Anything.”

“Can you give me your purple hoodie? I want to wear that.”

“Crown Prince stealing from the poor. How fitting!” Simon laughs.

“I am not stealing. I am borrowing.” Wille darts back.

“I know this one. Yeah, when your boyfriend “borrows” a hoodie, and you will never see it again. It will be gone forever.” Simon says, unaware of what he has just said. When he sees Wille’s face, he realizes what he implied. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just—I mean-” He tries to take back what he said but he is just rambling. Wille still doesn’t say anything. He is watching, adoration clear in his eyes. He looks like he is enjoying Simon being shy and bashful for a change.

“Simon, Simon,” he says softly. “I like the sound of that. I would really like to call you my boyfriend. I have wanted that for a long time, I guess. I just didn’t know that we were allowed to.” Simon squeezes their hands at the confession and kisses the back of his hand softly.

He gets up and searches his drawers, pulls up the purple hoodie and gives it to Wille. “You can keep it; it will look better on you anyway.”

“That’s not possible," says Wille, giving him a cheeky grin while putting the hoodie on. It smells like Simon. This will give him the courage he needs. “You should have something of mine in return. I will not tolerate being called a hoodie thief.”

“I want your scarf then. The one with the colorful stripes.”

“That is a pretty fast answer," says Wille, amused. “As you wish," Wille says while Simon groans in frustration. He goes to retrieve the scarf and puts it around Simon’s neck. Simon smiles happily while looking at the scarf and Wille can’t help but pull Simon by the ends of the scarf and kiss him. They smile into the kiss like they always do.

“You should wear this all the time.”

Simon smiles and kisses him again because he can.

January 9, Saturday / 13.50

Finally, Wille opens his Instagram and goes on live. “Here goes nothing," he thinks.

“Hey, people of Sweden. There was a video going around recently. There were rumors that it was me in the video. I had released a statement before but I don’t think that was enough. I have someone here with me. So I am gonna ask him.”

“Hey Simon, was it me with you in the video?”

Simon is out of frame, just like they agreed on. He was already in the news, in the tabloids. They didn’t want the focus to be on Simon. This was about Wille anyway. Simon smiles his sunshine smile, only for Wille to see. He grins and says, “I am not sure. I think I need something to freshen up my memory.” Wille goes out of frame, and he leans forward to give him a short kiss on the lips. “What about now?” Wille asks, grinning from ear to ear. He is back in the frame again. Thousands of people see him smiling so big. “It feels familiar but I'm still not sure.” Simon replies cheekily. Wille goes out of frame again. He puts his hands on Simon’s face, his thumbs caressing his cheeks softly and gives him a really long kiss. Simon kisses back immediately, pliant under his lips. Their kissing sounds echo not only in their room but also on thousands of people’s phones as well. They pull back from each other and Wille goes back into the frame again. He smiles at the camera and says,

“I think that doesn’t leave any room for questions but I still want to say it aloud. It was me in the video. I couldn’t tell the truth before because I wasn’t ready. I was outed. We were outed in the most disgusting way. I was hurt pretty badly. My freedom to share that part of myself is stolen from me and that’s what you should be focusing on. Also, it is a bit concerning that people are more interested in the crown prince being gay than two minors’ private moments being recorded and released to the whole country to see without their consent. It seems our progressive Sweden isn’t so progressive after all.

If you didn’t already get that, I can say I am not straight. I am not labeling myself. I don’t have to. I am in a relationship with a guy and I don’t think that’s anybody’s business but I don’t want to lie anymore. We won’t be talking any further."

Before he ends the livestream, they both see lots of comments. Hearts, all colors of them, flood the comments section. Still, they are a little nervous to read. They start to read some of them, and most of them are positive and supportive. There are also hate comments but they always will be so they ignore that.

“King behavior. Like literally 👑”

“This is so iconic. I can’t believe I saw this live.”

“Guys, that was Simon’s hoodie. Domestic boyfriends.❤️”

“The crown prince said fuck the monarchy. Is this real life?”

“I am gonna talk about this for the rest of my life.”

“Thank you for speaking up about who you are. That’s gonna help a lot of LGBTQ kids accept themselves. Love always wins 🌈🏳️‍🌈"

“I want someone to look at me like the way Prince Wilhelm looks at his boyfriend.”

“Whoever released their video needs to go to jail. That’s so disgusting.”

“He seems so different here, happier and more like us. I love that for him.”

They are happy to see the supportive comments. Some of them are funny, too. After they finish reading the comments, Wille turns off his phone and throws it on the bed. He doesn’t want to deal with his mom right now. He closes his eyes and exhales. Finally. He did it. He can’t believe it. He really did it. There is no turning back now.

“I am really proud of you, you know.”

“For making out with you on live? I did better than that before.” Wille deadpans.

“Now you are the one making jokes.” Simon chuckles. “But seriously. I am really proud. That takes a lot of courage to do that.”

“You make me want to be really brave, Simon," says Wille, meaning every word of what he said.

“I love you.” Simon doesn’t know what else to reply to that.

“I really want to wish you a Merry Christmas right now or would that be too soon?”

“Shut up!” Simon hugs him then, in disguise of an attack. They both know the real reason, though. Wille could use a hug right now. Who was he kidding? He could hug Wille all the time and he would be over the moon.

Wille pulls back a little just to look him in the eye and says, “I love you too.” He can’t just not say it back now, can he?

“What is gonna happen now?” Simon wonders.

“Maybe we can recreate The Video. If you want that, of course.” Wille says as he is trying to hold his laughter. He is aware he is trying to divert the conversation anywhere.

Simon is stunned and a little bit turned on but Wille doesn’t need to know that, by Wille’s bluntness. He knows what he is trying to do but still. “Oh my God! Who are you and what have you done to my Wille?” Simon doesn’t miss Wille’s smirk at “my Wille” but lets it pass. When did the tables turn and he became the shy mess, he doesn’t know.

Wille laughs at him, but he gets serious in a split second and says, “I don’t know.” He gives a quick kiss on Simon’s temple. “There seems to be more positive feedback. I think we could use that in our favor. It is too late to take it back anyway. Whatever happens, we are together, and that’s what really matters. We are in this together. I mean it. For real, this time.” Wille assures him. Simon hugs him tighter, breathes him in, puts his head in the crook of Wille's neck, and repeats Wille’s words to him. “We are in this together. Just you and me, that’s what matters.”

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Chapter Text

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January 9, Saturday, 19.47

They were sitting on the couch, watching some show they didn’t really care about but doing it anyway because they could use a distraction. They did the live well past afternoon and now it is almost eight. They were occasionally kissing, talking, and basking in each other’s presence. Wille’s phone is still off. He still is not ready to face the consequences. Then, there was some rustling at the door, Linda coming back from work. They hear the door open and close, making Wille hyper-aware that he is kind of scared of Linda’s reaction. According to Simon, they were quiet last night and Linda couldn’t have possibly heard them coming because Simon was careful to not make a noise and Sara was also with Felice as she invited him to a sleepover before the new term begins. Linda also leaves early for her shift, which means she left the house way before they woke up. Wille sits up straighter as Linda comes to the living room. He starts to ramble as soon as she sees her. He cannot be welcomed here after everything. Linda must really hate him after hurting her son.

“I am sorry. I am leaving now. I am sure you don’t want to see me right now.” Wille says as he makes a move to stand up and leave the house.

Linda comes up and gives him a tight hug, making Wille frozen in his place. As much as he knows Linda was friendly to him before, that was the last thing he was expecting. “I am happy that you are still here. I am really proud of you, the girls at work showed me. You were so brave to come out to the whole world. I am really proud of you.” she says. Wille is still in shock, on the other hand, Simon watches them with adoration in his eyes. Simon is really lucky to have such a supportive mother and Wille needs one in his life right now. He is glad his mother can be there for his boyfriend as well. Linda squeezes Wille one last time before she lets go and Wille relaxes completely, thinking maybe he was wrong about being welcomed into Simon’s home.

“Have you talked to your parents?” Linda asks as she is sitting down on the other end of the couch. As soon as Wille sits back too, he feels Simon’s hand in him, squeezing it to make him feel okay again. Linda looks at their intertwined hands and gives them a small smile. He can’t even fathom the idea of his own mother doing that right now and his chest tightens. Simon probably knows what he is thinking and answers instead of him. “Wille turned off his phone after the live, we don’t know how they have reacted yet.” he says. How can he know him like the back of his hand in such a short period of time, he doesn’t understand. “Yet, love doesn’t know time.” he thinks smiling to himself after looking at Simon quickly.

“Have you eaten? There were leftovers and we can heat them up quickly. ” Linda asks and Wille appreciates how small a gesture like that makes him feel like he is home.

“We ate some snacks in the afternoon, we weren’t really hungry.” Simon answers.

“In the afternoon? Linda asks in a higher voice. “It has been hours. How can you let your boyfriend starve for hours? Not in my house.” she laughs. They both blush at being called boyfriends as if they didn’t announce it to the whole world and glance away noticing the other’s reaction too. Linda also realizes that but doesn’t comment on it. “Simon, you get the leftovers from the fridge and I will make some pasta. That should be enough for us, I think.”

Simon gets up from the couch and gets to work. “Wilhelm, you can set the table, the cutlery is in that drawer and the plates are in the left cupboard, there” he orders him too like they always do that like this became a regular thing like Wille isn’t the Crown Prince of Sweden. That’s what he likes most about Simon and his mother too. They always treat him like an ordinary person, they don’t bow to him, they don’t use his title, and they treat him like he is just a 16-year-old boy, which he is. Simon also sends him quick glances as they both do what’s being asked of them. They must know what the other is thinking. The idea of so much understanding sends a shiver to him. Wille thinks “I am really happy that your mother treats me equally. Simon answers him without speaking, their eyes are already enough to communicate, he looks at him like he is saying “Of course, she would do that, what were you expecting, for us to call you “Your Royal Highness” and feed you with a silver spoon or something? Now get to work.” And Wille wouldn't have it any other way.

Simon’s phone rings and Wille cannot help but feel his anxiety spiking up at every call, notification, or something similar that reminds him that there is a whole world outside talking about them, commenting, making remarks about their relationship, or judging him. He feels his anxiety go down when Simon announces that it is Ayub and goes to the living room to take the call on the other side of the room. He tries to distract himself with the task he has been given.

Simon realizes Wille’s reaction because of course he does. He is also relieved it is only Ayub but chooses to talk to him somewhere more private. He notices Wille is doing what he has left unfinished and smiles to himself. He already knows Wille is not some privileged, rich, entitled asshole who thinks he is above everyone but still. He likes to see two of his favorite people together, in harmony like they are preparing dinner every day, like this became a routine for a long time.

“Hello! Simon are you there?” Ayub speaks from the phone.

“Maybe he has bad reception.?” he hears Rosh is there as well.

He only realizes now that he accepted the call but was distracted by the domestic scene in front of him. He is so whipped, sue him.

Simon: “Sorry sorry, I am here.” he answers finally.

“We were gonna hang up.” Rosh says.

“So, what’s up?” Simon asks

“What’s up? he says “What’s up as if nothing happened. I can’t believe this.” says Ayub.

“We saw the live a little while ago. Someone screen-recorded it and it is everywhere. Is he still there? How are you? Have you checked the Internet?” asks Rosh.

Yes, he is still here. We are fine and no, we haven’t. Yet. And my mom is fixing us dinner and he is helping her right now. We kind of forgot to eat afterwards.

“Yeah, I can imagine.” Ayub snickers.

“It wasn't like that. Oh my god! We were nervous. Wille turned off his phone. We don’t how his mom has reacted yet. It is a shit show probably. But we will figure it out, I am sure.” he says as he glances at Wille, adoration seeped into his voice. It is something he can’t turn off, okay?

“I can see you grinning from ear to ear and this is not even a video call.” Ayub says.

“I was still angry at him for what he has done to you. I am still angry. He still needs to convince me.” Rosh adds after not speaking for some time.

“He told the whole world. What more convincing do you need?” Ayub tells her.

“What if he changes his mind again? I don’t trust him. Not yet at least but this is huge. I will give him that. He is gonna get the shovel talk though.” Rosh adds.

“He is angry at himself for that too, to be honest. Don’t worry about me. We are fine.” Simon says.

“I will believe that when I see it.” Rosh remarks a little bit sharply.

“Wait a second, we totally need to go back a little in this conversation. The Crown Prince of Sweden is helping your mom in the kitchen right now.” Ayub asks frantically, probably trying to divert this conversation to somewhere lighter and easier.

“Yeah, he is really cute doing that.” Simon answers being the embodiment of heart eyes emoji.

“Simme, you are so whipped!” Ayub says incredulously.

“And the sky is blue. Tell me something I don’t know already.” Simon tells flatly.

“We set you up with Lucas for nothing.” Rosh says. She really thought the new transfer student who was openly gay maybe could help Simon get his mind away from the prince.

“Who?” asks Simon confirming she couldn’t be more wrong.

“You met him just yesterday. We left you with him. Remember? I know now that that was pointless.” adds Ayub.

“I could have told you that if I knew what your plan was.” Simon says unapologetically. “Hey, they are waiting for me, we will talk soon.” he adds after taking a look at the kitchen.

“Ok, keep us updated as much as you can. Say hi to Linda and your boyfriend from us.” Ayub says.

“He deserves a hi after he comes out to the world for Simon” he adds probably after Rosh gives him a look. Simon has no problem picturing how she looks.

“That’s what he's supposed to do in the first place.” Rosh tells a little bit of anger clear in her voice.

“Come on Rosh, you are a lesbian. You should know better than anybody it is not easy.” Ayub argues.

“Yeah okay I know that but I am not going make it easy for him.” Rosh says.

“Yeah yeah, you love me. I get it.” Simon says. He knows she is hard on Wille, on the other he cannot help but feel so lucky at his friend’s protectiveness over him.

“I tolerate you at best.” Rosh says flatly. “Go now, eat with your boyfriend or whatever.” She is clearly not so annoyed about the situation as she pretends to do so.

“I love you too, Rosh.” Simon says this as he hangs up the phone. He is so grateful to have Ayub and Rosh in his life.

Simon, thank God this is not a video call. They know he is whipped, infatuated, and head over heels. Whatever words are in his vocabulary aren’t really enough to express how he feels for Wille, yes, but at least they don’t see his blush whenever they talk about Wille or refer to him as his boyfriend. He makes his way to the table, everything already in place. He sits next to Wille, giving him a small smile. He didn’t realize how hungry he was before, occupied with today’s events. He takes some chicken and freshly made pasta to his plate. He puts some ketchup on his pasta as Wille looks at him in horror. Simon squints his eyes at him, curious about what made him react like that.

“Ok, we need to break up.” Wille says, grinning.

“What?” Simon sputters.

“You eat pasta with ketchup.”

“Yes, and?”

“You are eating it wrong.”

“How can a personal choice be wrong?”

“It is when it is ketchup. This is a deal-breaker for me, I am sorry.” 

“You are so ridiculous.”

“No, you are.”

“Nope, you.”

“That’s you. Next thing you say, you like pineapple on pizza or something.”

“I like pineapple on pizza.”

“Oh my God! What kind of monster did I fall in love with?”

“Aww, are you in love with me? That’s so embarrassing. That’s what you get, I am afraid. No take-backs.” Simon says. He is so in love. That’s his boyfriend. He still can’t believe it. That’s not surprising though because it’s not been 24 hours since everything changed in a different direction. How he was miserable at this time yesterday. He is so elated that they can do this now.

“As much as I don’t mind you flirting, your food is getting cold. Just so you know.” Linda adds, amused at their shenanigans.   

They only realize now that they are not alone. They are grinning at each other so big that their cheeks start to hurt. Is that what being head over heels with someone feels like? They can’t stop this giddy feeling. They wouldn’t want to anyway. They start to eat at last. Simon takes some pasta in his fork, making sure it has ketchup on it and passing it to Wille. “You should try it. Please.” he says making puppy eyes at this boyfriend knowing he won’t be able to say no. Because Wille is also as in love as Simon is, he doesn’t refuse and Simon feeds him with the pasta Wille hates with a passion. Wille doesn’t object but grimaces as he chews the food thinking this is a food crime. He had no chance, did he? Simon says “Your taste buds are broken because of the fancy shit you always eat.” with a glint in his eyes, enjoying Wille’s discomfort way too much.

Wille enjoys Simon making fun of him. That’s what caught his attention in the first place. They feel like equals. Simon doesn’t care that he is a prince and he doesn’t shy away from speaking his mind. He really felt like a lost puppy when Simon looked directly at him after that remark in that class. If only looks could kill. Wille has an idea and begins to smirk at his boyfriend making him burrow his eyebrows, clearly seeing something is coming.

“That’s true. All the fancy shit I eat. I think that’s not really surprising, you know.” A pause.  “Considering we all know who this country’s biggest welfare receivers are, right?” he adds finally with a cheeky smile.

Simon nearly chokes on his food. So, he didn’t see That coming. Wille smiles, proud of himself probably catching him off guard. Wille said he had liked what he said in class but they never talked about this comment before. However, he can’t help but laugh at his boyfriend. He is so lame and he says so. Wille beams at him.

They eat in silence, stealing glances now and then. After they finish up, they put their plates away. Linda sends them away this time, saying he will deal with the cleaning up. Wille insists on helping but Linda says, “You can help next time; you go have fun.” His lame boyfriend grins at “next time” as if cleaning up after dinner together is the best thing in the world. He pulls him by his hand and they sit on the couch, getting back to their previous positions before Linda came home. They are so close, as if they don’t know what personal space is. Simon presses play to continue to watch the show they started. Linda comes and joins them after finishing cleaning up. Still, Simon can’t believe how light he feels with his boyfriend and his mom with him—probably the happiest he has ever been. 

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January 9, Saturday / 22.13

Linda disappears into her room after a couple of episodes. Wille thinks “Probably to give us privacy and make me feel more at ease.” as if she is not the most comfortable adult to be around. Apart from Erik, if you can count him as an adult or skip the part where he is not around anymore. That’s one way to say it.

They are sitting so close to each other, their legs on top of each other (because, why not, they must touch everywhere possible) propped on the coffee table, Wille’s head is in the crook of Simon’s shoulder, and Simon is playing with Wille’s fingers. The usual, as you can imagine. Wille looks up at Simon briefly and asks who has called just before dinner. He already knows who it is but he can’t ask, “What did you talk about?” without making him think he is prying.

“Ayub and Rosh. They saw it and they wanted to know how we were,” Simon answers.

“How you are, you mean. They must hate me.” Wille corrects him as he makes himself smaller. He can’t help but feel regret about how he handled things before.

“They were mad at you, yes. I won’t lie but they know where you are coming from. It will be okay, don’t worry.” Simon assures him.

“I want your friends to like me.” Wille says, with a pout. He definitely won’t admit it but it is a pout, alright.

“You are so adorable.” Simon coos.

“Shut up.” Wille retorts back.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but...” Simon tries after some time.

“You know you can never do that.”

“Lame.” he says. He can’t resist teasing his boyfriend at every possible opportunity. He also gets shy whenever Wille gives him words of affirmation. He is distracted again. Yes, right, he was going to ask a question. “Umm, when are you going to turn on your phone?”

“Maybe tomorrow, I don’t know but not tonight. I want to be able to sleep without having to think about that.”

“We can do that.” says Simon, looking at him lovingly. “... Speaking of sleeping, will you stay here tonight? It is already late anyway. My mom will be okay before you ask. She loves you more than she loves me. And it is day one. I am jealous, honestly.”

“Are you sure? Malin is probably waiting outside somewhere. I can leave; I don’t mind. I don’t want to ..”

“Mama, can Wille stay here tonight?” Simon cuts him off by calling out to his mother.

“Yes, of course.” says Linda from the other. “You are always welcome here, Wilhelm.” she adds.

“See, you are already her favorite.”

Wille blushes at that. He is tired of blushing today but that’s not gonna stop any time soon.

“Where is the air mattress?” asks Simon when Linda comes back to the living room.

Linda raises her eyebrows, her eyes saying, “I know you are not gonna use that.” and says exactly that.

“I saw his shoes before I left this morning. I know he stayed here last night.” she adds.

Ok, so much for being quiet. Simon gets embarrassed at that. He didn’t think about their shoes last night. He was in no condition to think about shoes, to be honest. He was so sure she didn’t notice. Subtlety is definitely not their strong suit, as he knows now. Wille groans and hides his face in Simon’s chest. At least, he doesn’t apologize for that.

“Thank you, Linda.” Wille says earnestly.

“Thank you, Linda.” Simon mocks him.

“No problem, honey.” she says to Wille. “I am going to sleep. I have an early morning. If you need The Talk though, I am happy to help,” she adds looking at both of them. They both groan at that and Simon says “Okay bye, goodnight.” Linda chuckles before she also says good night to both and leaves them to go to her room.

“You have an amazing mom, you are so lucky.” Wille says as he looks at Linda’s retreating figure. He really wishes he had a mom like her.

“I know.” Simon says. He knows what Wille is thinking as far as his mom is concerned, but Wille doesn’t need his pity so he doesn’t comment on that. Something Wille has said occurs to him just now. ”Wait a minute, what do you mean Malin is somewhere. Has she been waiting at our door for 24 hours? No, that can’t be it, you were drunk and alone. Oh my God, why didn’t I think of asking about your bodyguards? How come they didn’t—” he asks frantically.

“Slow down.” Wille cuts him off. “I will explain. My parents, they had to go to Norway or the UK, I don’t really remember, for some royal bullshit for the weekend. School starts on Monday so there was no reason for me to stay at the palace and wait for them to come back. So I arrived at the school on Friday. Actually, that was yesterday when I think about it. It was a really long day, wasn’t it? Anyway, I was at the dorm. I ditched them and sneaked out of the window. I let them know where I was this morning. I also checked in with Malin before I turned off my phone. Soo, it isn’t a matter of national security emergency.” Wille says. He is kind of out of breath when he finishes the story. It really was a long day. It felt like it was nine months, though.

“Yeah, okay then. How did you find alcohol? You were pretty out of it.”

“There were other early comers too. They had it. I returned to my room later and I was on Instagram and I saw the guy who was with you last night and ended up at your house.” 

“So you were jealous.” Simon states but comes out as a question.

“I think that was obvious since I came running to you.” Wille says unfazed.

“But I didn’t post anything yesterday. Where did you see it, I don’t understand.”

“imighthavestalkedayub’srosh’sandsara’sinstagramtoo.” Wille says everything at once.

“I couldn’t catch that Wille.” Simon grins looking at his boyfriend whose ears started to go red.

“I might have stalked Ayub’s, Rosh’s, and Sara’s Instagram, too.” he repeats.

“What!? You are an idiot.” Simon says looking at Wille and shaking his head in a way that only can be interpreted as mixed with “I can’t believe you.” and “I adore you.”

Wille looks at him bashfully but then he begins “At least, I am your ....” but Simon is quick to cover his mouth with his hand not to let him finish what he was about to say. “Don’t finish that sentence because I am dying here. You are so cute.”

“How can you say that I am cute but I can’t say what I want to say. This is not fair.” he pouts.

“Also, just so you know, I planned to meet with Ayub and Rosh and they invited him too. I didn’t know he was coming. It wasn’t a date or anything.” Simon explains.

“Oh, I know. You loooove meee.” Wille singsongs. And that’s not cute or adorable at all. No, definitely not.

“You are so annoying.” Simon says. He doesn’t even believe it himself.

“I think I am cute and adorable. Your words, not mine.” Wille says. Simon wonders if he can read his mind or something but Wille is right, those were definitely his words. Frequently said so. There was no lie in there. He remembers something else and with a glint in his eyes, he says “It was so hot when you said “royal bullshit”, you know?” raising his eyebrows suggestively. “Fuck off!” Wille says getting a little flustered and gives him a long kiss instead. Simon immediately relaxes and kisses him back. How can they feel so lost in that kiss but also they can find every piece of themselves in it, they don’t understand. Simon gets up from the couch and extends his hand. Wille takes it following Simon to his room. He can follow him anywhere, honestly.

Simon leads Wille to his room and he closes the door behind him. Wille takes his surroundings like this is the first time he is here. He looks at the aquarium and then looks back at Simon. He raises his eyebrows and smirks. Apparently, they can talk telepathically now. That was not Simon’s proudest moment. To forget his own fish’s names. He was such a goner. Wille was so close to him that night, feeling his hot breath on his neck, he was lucky to remember not to stop breathing.

“So which side of the bed is yours?” Wille asks. He didn’t give Simon a choice last night or before that. He had crashed because he was either too high or too drunk.

“Both sides... Since it's my bed.” Simon chooses to be a little shit.

“Fuck off! I meant if you had a preference or something.” Wille chuckles as he says.

“So you would take the other side?” Simon asks.

“Yes, that was the idea, genius.” Wille deadpans.

“What if you prefer the same side of the bed. Even then?”

“Yes, Simon. What is the point of asking if I ...”

“You are so ....” Simon cuts him off.

“Yes?”

“You are so obsessed with me.” Simon states, so satisfied with himself.

“Yes, your point is?” Wille says unimpressed.

“It is not fun to tease you anymore.” Simon says disappointed.

“Unlike you, I am having so much fun right now.” Wille grins.

“Is that so?” Simon challenges him. He takes off his sweatpants and his hoodie, which leaves him with his boxers because it gets hot at night, that’s the only reason. Wille checks him out, because of course he does. Then, Simon settles in his bed, taking the side of the bed facing the wall. “Then you will have to sleep here.” he says pointing to the other side of the bed. “I hope you don’t drop on the floor at night.” he adds with a mischievous smile.

“Simoon, you will have to cuddle me. What if I drop on my butt?“ Wille says.

“That sounds like a you problem.” Simon says flatly.

“But you love my butt, that also concerns you.” Wille says boldly.

“What makes you think I love your butt?” Simon questions.

“I just don’t think you love my butt. I know it.” Wille says.

Simon gives up trying to come up with an answer to that. Wille also takes his sweatpants and his hoodie, which really belong to Simon and lies on top of him. “So you don’t need my hoodie anymore.” Simon says as he looks up at him. A golden strand of hair falls in front of Wille’s face. Simon takes the silky strand and pushes it back. Wille looks down and caresses Simon’s face with the back of his hand. He says, “Nope, I have the real deal now.” He is so fond and sweet that Simon kisses his lips, his temple, and his nose, peppering all of his face with little pecks, carding his fingers through Wille’s hair as Wille holds his waist with one hand, thumbing his cheek with the other. The scene is painting a perfect picture, which deserves to be put in the Louvre, as cheesy as it sounds. Simon guides him back to his side, circling his arms around Wille and they fall asleep with a stupid smile adorning their faces.

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Chapter Text

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January 10, Sunday / 11.11

The winter sun is shining through the windows, illuminating Wille’s face with yellow lights, making Simon giddy and light-headed from being lucky enough to have him by his side, feeling so grateful that he is able to see him in their bubble, cocoon of safety. Simon is awake for some time now, having the luxury of staring at Wille, appreciating his presence. They woke up in the same room before, but this feels different. Now, he is sure of a lot of things, of Wille, of their relationship. He pushes back the strands in front of Wille’s forehead, a futile attempt because they fall right back in their previous place. That makes Simon smile. He would never get tired of doing that, anyway. That thought also makes him smile wider. Wille stirs a little but he doesn’t wake up. He settles in the crook of Simon’s neck, making him feel his breath all over his body. He can’t help but shiver.

“You are staring,” Wille says sleepily without opening his eyes. Waking up next to Simon is like eating ice cream on a hot day, tasting the first fresh strawberry of the season, and taking a warm shower after a long day. It is sweet and cozy.

“No, I am not.” Simon objects. Another futile attempt.

“You definitely are. I can feel it on my skin.” Wille says, a voice a little bit muffled as he presses his face deeper. Still, he doesn’t make any attempt to get up, cuddling Simon harder than before. That makes Simon wonder if he was a koala bear in his previous life. Another smile escapes him, he has no control.

“Oh, can you now?” Simon asks, trying to hide his affection but failing to do so. Another one.

“Yes, I can always feel your eyes. Even if you are at the other end of the room,” Wille says sincerely. “Is this normal?” he questions more to himself but Simon hears it.

“I can feel that, too. It is only natural, we are in love.” Simon teases. He knows he means it. Wille knows he means it as he presses a soft, lingering kiss on his collarbone. His eyes still are closed, and he caresses Simon’s waist with his thumb. Simon kisses his head as he says softly, “Hey, we should get up.” Wille makes no move, as Simon expected. He says, “Come on. I am starving. Let’s have breakfast.”

“I want to sleep some more.” Wille whines. “Come on, Wille, I will make pancakes. I am craving something sweet.” Simon says, thinking maybe that will draw his attention.

“But you have me here. I am sweet.” Wille mumbles, grinning to himself.

Simon smiles to himself as he comes up with an idea. If that doesn’t work either, there is no point in trying. “Come on, baby.” he says, pressing another kiss to his head. That makes Wille open his eyes in an instant and look at him like he is a deer caught in the highlights. Simon is proud of himself, to be honest, looking back at Wille’s wide eyes with a smug face.

“That is not fair.” Wille says, his voice not dripping with sleep anymore.

“What?” Simon says nonchalantly.

“You know what.” he pouts. “You said it when I wasn’t looking at you.”

“What did I say? I am not aware.” Simon says, enjoying himself way too much.

“Are you really going to make me say it?” Wille asks, feigning annoyance.

“I am not doing anything,” Simon says innocently. He is nothing but innocent, alright? “Baby.” Simon adds after a pause.

Wille attacks him with a kiss, lying on top of him. He is kissing him with so much hunger, like he is finally breathing after he stayed underwater for a long time. He puts both of his hands on Simon’s face, steadying him. Simon immediately kisses him back, crossing his hands at the back of Wille’s head. Wille stops to catch his breath. “Good morning.” he says looking at Simon with a lovesick smile. Simon feels like Wille composed him a love song or something. “He has just said -good morning-, for fuck’s sake. Calm down.” he thinks. Simon says “Good morning, baby”, it comes more breathy than he intended. Wille gives him a longer kiss this time. It is softer, more delicate but more compassionate as well. Their kisses are an enigma, waiting to be solved but also don’t actually need solving. They are a mess at this point.

They stop kissing, feeling the need to give themselves a rest because kissing felt like they had run a marathon. They know how that sounds, give them a break. They are lying on their sides now, with Wille at the wall side of the bed this time. He immediately pulls Simon back to himself placing a hand on his waist. They are facing each other, of course. That goes without saying but still. “You are so easy.” Simon says cheekily. Wille slips his fingers in Simon’s curls, massaging his scalp, not breaking their eye contact even for a second. “I am not.” he says. He is sulking, at least he is trying to but his face betrays him.

“You so are.” Simon says. “Remember as soon as I said I liked you, you jumped my bones?” he laughs. That is a beautiful laugh. A sound he wants to hear for the rest of his life, a sound he wants to bury in his brain, tuck away in the deep corners of himself and replay again and again when he needs. He is still laughing with his gorgeous smile, showing his perfect white teeth and his crinkling eyes.

Wille gets a little shy, less about what Simon said, but more about his thoughts about Simon’s laugh which deserves a poem or a novel he doesn’t know. He doesn’t object to Simon’s comment on -jumping his bones- part, because he is right. That was definitely what happened back then.

“Like you were any different.” Wille says looking at him intently. “Mi amor.” he adds. “It is my turn.” his eyes say. He was a bit self-conscious but looking at Simon’s reaction, he nailed that one. Simon says “Your pronunciation sucks.”

“Oh really? Your face tells me a different story.”

“Shut up!”

Wille raises his eyebrows suggestively. Simon says “If you say -I know one way to shut me up- or some other corny shit like that, we are breaking up.” Wille bursts into laughter because that was exactly what he was going to say. “Now, get up. I am making us pancakes and we are having breakfast.” he says as if he is threatening him and this is something Wille has to endure. That is far from the truth.

Simon slips over Wille and manages to get up. He puts on a yellow t-shirt and sweatpants he finds on the chair. He extends his hand to Wille, which prompts him to move finally. He also produces a pair of sweatpants and a freshly cleaned blue t-shirt from his dresser for Wille. He also puts them on and trails after Simon to the kitchen.

Simon starts to find the necessary ingredients in the fridge. “Do you also put ketchup on pancakes?” Wille snickers. He is standing next to the counter watching Simon attentively.

Simon puts eggs, milk, and flour on the counter. He holds Wille’s waist as he reaches to the top shelf to get the mixing bowl. “No, of course, I don’t. That’s disgusting. Why do you have a vendetta against ketchup anyway? I saw you eat it at Rosh’s game.” Simon argues. Wille sees Simon is having difficulty reaching the bowl so he gets the bowl and hands it over to Simon. He thanks him, and Wille brushes it off as he says “It is not that I don’t like it. It is a crime to ruin pasta with ketchup, that’s all. Also, I remember you not touching your hot dog that night. Were you nervous because of me?”

“Shut up! Oh my God! You are insufferable.” Simon says as he moves away from Wille in disguise of grabbing a whisk from the utensil drawer. Wille shakes with laughter.

Simon starts to mix the ingredients as he listens to his boyfriend’s laughter, focusing on the task in his hands, probably more than what’s necessary. “Can you pour some more milk, I think that is too thick.” “I thought you would be bossy, I wasn’t expecting that.” Wille says as he pours the milk. He pours it way more than necessary, making Simon do a double-take. Wille realizes he seems disappointed. “Oops!” he says innocently, batting his eyelashes at him. Simon says “I am more disappointed with myself, for trusting you with that, Your Royal Highness.” Wille flips him off before he realizes his title, dripping from Simon’s lips, doesn’t sound so unpleasant to his ears now. “We need to add more flour too, now. This can feed a family of four.” he adds.

“You said you were starving. Sooo, I don’t see a problem here.” Wille says adding the flour slowly this time, he can’t afford to mess it up again. “You are an idiot.” Simon says as he pecks him on the lips and goes to grab a pan. He turns on the stove and heats the pan. He starts to pour the batter on the pan, creating perfectly round pancakes. Wille is watching closely, his chin digging his shoulder, in the most comfortable way, but Simon gets flustered. This makes him weak in the knees a little. At least, Wille doesn’t hug him from behind this time because that would guarantee burnt pancakes and a fire hazard. “Go get me a plate.” he orders as he flips the golden pancakes. Wille kind of implied he expected to be bossed around. So be it. “Also, make us some coffee.” Wille does what he’s been told. He gets the plate first and puts it near the stove for him.

Wille goes to fill the coffee machine with water and places a paper filter, pours some coffee in it, and starts the machine. Simon’s heart soars in his ribcage as he sees his boyfriend making coffee. It’s not the making coffee itself, of course. The bar isn’t that low, thank you very much. The thing is he is doing it like he has done this a thousand times, like he knows where to find everything. That was also how he felt at dinner yesterday but that doesn’t stop the thoughts swimming into his mind as he puts batter on the pan, flips them when they are done, and takes them on the plate. A repetitive motion. They throw glances at each other as he keeps thinking “Wille belongs here, like he really belongs here.” This home his mum built with her hard work, a single mother with two teen children, dealing with divorce, struggling to create a safe nest for them. He doesn’t feel Wille is out of place. Not even a second. It is the easiness, familiarity, safety, and domesticity enveloping them like a warm blanket on a winter day. “It is a winter day, we are in January.” he thinks laughing to himself. It is not even that funny. Wille looks at him quizzically as Simon turns off the stove. He steals a kiss from him and then takes the plate and places it on the table. He comes back to the kitchen and sees Wille getting two mugs from the cabinet, one of them is yellow and the other is blue. He hugs him from behind and kisses his neck softly as Wille pours coffee into the mugs. It is brief but it is enough. For now.

He cuts up some fruits and brings the fruit plate with a tray of sweet condiments to the table. Wille also comes with the mugs and takes a seat. He extends the yellow mug to Simon. He accepts it, taking a sip right almost instantly, only realizing now that his coffee has a splash of milk and some sugar, just like he likes it. How did Wille notice that? He only had coffee a handful of times when he had breakfast at Forest Ridge. “That’s really good.” Simon hums, delighted at the taste. “I just started the machine, Simon.” he tries to laugh it off. Simon decides not to bring it up. Wille also brings the blue mug to his lips to take a sip, savoring the strong taste. “I am sure that was too demanding for your delicate royal hands, baby. I understand.” Simon teases then. This is easier and safer for the atmosphere now. Wille blushes at the endearment again but it’s a perfect opportunity to tease back. “Oh shut up! My hands can do more demanding things, don’t worry. Now, I think about it, you are well aware of that actually.” he says as he takes another sip, looking directly into Simon’s eyes, very pleased with himself. Simon coughs a few times, he is grateful he wasn’t drinking at the moment. The thing is, it is like a tennis match, he loves it and they are both winning.

Simon flips him off this time and then he has to audacity to serve Wille a couple of pancakes first and then himself. Wille shakes his head at him lovingly. He takes a bite and moans at the taste. The sound doesn’t distract Simon, at all. “Unlike coffee, this takes a real effort and practice and they are amazing. ” Wille compliments him. Simon gets shy. He was always better at this, anyway. “Thanks, you probably missed it but there is a secret ingredient.” Simon says, like he is sharing a secret. Wille looks at him burrowing his eyebrows, like he is waiting for him to continue. “I put my love in it.” he says finally. Wille looks at him bewildered, drawing him near, by pulling Simon’s chair to himself, which is very hot by the by, and kissing him. It is so sweet and fond. They pull apart and take some fruits, jam, and honey on the pancakes, feeding each other like they don’t have the same thing on their plates. They are idiots. And in love.

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Chapter Text

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January 10, Sunday 12.43

After they finished having breakfast with kisses and giggles some time ago, they got to work and cleaned up the table together, washing the dishes side by side. Wille is washing them, and Simon is drying the dishes and putting them in their place. Wille is done and he is leaning back at the counter, waiting for Simon to put the last few things back into place.

“You know when you hugged me and kissed my neck just before?” Wille asks his boyfriend, who is also leaning against the counter next to Wille.

“Yes?” Simon nudges him to continue.

Wille comes in front of Simon, putting his hands at the sides, bracketing him. “I almost poured coffee all over myself. You can’t do that without a warning.” He continues with a glint in his eyes. “I can see why you would forget your fish’s names.” he adds with a chuckle.

Simon doesn’t seem fazed. He puts his hands at his boyfriend’s waist, simply holding him. He isn’t so embarrassed about that anymore. It is time to get payback. He looks at his boyfriend mischievously. “What are they called, huh? Tell me then, you smartass? As if you were able to listen to what I was saying.” he asks.

Wille stammers a little. He wasn’t expecting that at all. “They are called umm.., they are... umm. Ok, I don’t remember anything, not even one.” he chuckles as he gives him a peck. “Ooops!” he says. Simon laughs at him, shaking his head. "Now that you lost your ammunition, you can’t make fun of me about that anymore.” Simon says.

“When did I ever...” Wille begins to say, but Simon interrupts him, saying, “I know how you looked at the fish tank yesterday.” Wille says “Guilty.” and he doesn’t look guilty at all.

"Also, unlike you, I hugged you because it was supposed to be soft and tender. I didn’t think you would be affected. It was like five seconds.” Simon counters.

“Yes, exactly. Why would you even do that if you weren’t gonna...” Wille starts to ask but fails to finish his thought.

“What?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking so far ahead. I was thinking about that kiss again. My brain stopped working.” Wille grins.

“I know you can’t think straight around me, baby.” Wille is too stunned to speak. Both at the pet name and Simon’s cheekiness. “See what I did there?” Simon adds raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“You are so annoying.” Wille huffs.

“You love it.” Simon grins.  

Simon grabs his boyfriend’s hand and leads them to the living room. Simon sits first, pulling Wille to his chest. They close their eyes, just enjoying the presence of the other is enough, grateful for just being able to listen to the other’s breathing and knowing they are together. They don’t speak for a while because silence isn’t uncomfortable and awkward. Wille gets up to go to Simon’s room and comes back with his phone. He had left it at the bedside table after he had turned it off. He sits back and starts to flip his phone in his hand, also his face stoic, not like his Wille Simon observes, thinking hard clearly. Simon waits for him patiently turning his face and his body towards Wille, with him mirroring the position back.

“I am ready to face the consequences now. I am going to talk to my mother, about what will happen now. I am actually surprised she didn’t send anybody to remove me from your house, but there is something I really need to tell you before we face the music?” Wille smiles sadly.

“Okay.” Simon says warmly encouraging him to speak.

“I need to... No, I have to tell you something. I don’t want to ruin the moment but I know there is no right time to tell you this and I really don't want to keep it away from you anymore.”

“What is it, Wille? You are kind of scaring me.”

“Umm, I know who took the video.” he says. “Of us.” he adds as if that wasn’t obvious.

“What?” Simon croaks out.

“Yes, I know who it is. I couldn’t tell you before. I am sorry.” He sounds scared.

“Who is it? Tell me. How did ..? When ..” Simon stammers.

“Felice told me. I found out the day before the Christmas mass. I couldn't tell you because what was the point then but we are going to go back to school now and you need to know. I really don't want anything hanging between us.” he manages to reply.

“Tell me. Please.” Simon begs.

“It was... August.” Wille says with tears in his eyes.

“What?” Simon reacts falling short of words. He keeps looking at Wille, seeing his eyes well up tears. “What do you mean it is August? I know he was an asshole but this? .... This is so sick.” he finishes more quietly.

“Yeah” Wille confirms him. “But it is him. I am sure.”

“What the hell? But isn’t he... Isn’t he your cousin or something? I know he doesn’t like me but he is your family. How can he do this to you? Why? I don't understand.” Simon ponders aloud.

“I confronted him after I found out. He said he was sorry. Just sorry. No explanation. Can you believe it? Like a little sorry could take back what he has done. To us.” Wille’s voice cracks a little, a couple of tears running down his cheeks. Simon lunges to wipe his tears with both of his hands and then holds Wille’s hands on his lap. “My mother also knows about this. Actually, she knew before me and she didn’t tell me anything.” Wille forces a smile. And it is sad. So sad. Simon squeezes Wille’s hands once and begins to caress his hands with his thumbs, holding his gaze. “She said she was protecting me, not him. She was only protecting our reputation, our legacy. She didn’t care about me. She had the audacity to mention Erik. Her protecting our reputation would give Erik’s death a meaning? How fucked up was that? I hung up on her after that. We really didn’t talk during the holidays, I was kind of avoiding her. But in the end, August got away with it and we had... you had to deal with it and I wasn’t brave enough to be there for you. I am really sorry.” Wille starts to sob, big fat tears running down his cheeks. He starts to pull away from his hands, breaking their eye contact. Only Simon doesn’t let him. He holds Wille’s chin, making him look at him again with his hand, the other still holding Wille’s hand.”

“Hey baby, look at me. Please, just look at me.” Wille looks at him tentatively, still scared. “We are okay now. I am not angry with you. I was never angry, I know it was hard for you to come out. But you did that. I am so proud of you. ... About August... When I-we see him tomorrow, I don’t know how I will react but we will deal with it together. Okay? Together we will deal with it.”

“Okay.” Wille says and then he grimaces. “And now you are comforting me. I should be comforting you. You had to deal with all of that crap. I made this all about myself. I am so sorry.” he continues.

“This is about yourself. He was someone you thought was your friend. Your mother wasn’t there for you. You have a right to be upset about it. You don’t have to hide your emotions with me? Also, we can both comfort each other. It doesn’t have to be one way or another. This is not a competition.” Simon says with a sad smile. It is sad because Wille is being so hard on himself, not because he doesn’t mean what he said. 

“How are you real?” Wille says, with a matching smile. “I am really happy I met you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I am really sorry. I am sorry, I can’t be that for you.” he finishes.

“What makes you say that you are not the same for me? You can’t say sorry anymore and you can’t talk about my boyfriend like that. Got it?” Simon challenges him.

“Yes. I got it,” Wille says with an earnest expression, clearly feeling bashful about Simon being so protective of him. Even from himself and his inner turmoil and his own demons whispering to him... umm, not very nice things. He can be more open, and tell Simon things, he would understand. It is just a little hard. He is not used to it.

“The worst part is that I trusted August because Erik trusted him. Was my big brother such a poor judge of a character that he couldn’t see the real August? Or did something happen to make him such a huge asshole to do something so sick? After the video got leaked, after August leaked it himself, I mean, he came to my room and brought me some food for fuck’s sake, because, you know, I didn’t leave my room, I didn’t want to face everyone. He told me I didn’t have to hide. To go to him if people give me a hard time. I feel so stupid and betrayed.” Wille reveals, his conversation getting interrupted by his own rueful laughter from time to time.

“I really want to punch him this time.” Simon says and Wille burrows his eyebrows, confused. “Not now, I will tell you later.” he says. He sits them back on the couch, guiding Wille’s head on his shoulder. “But I was wondering how he was even there when we, you know? How did he start recording us? Was he following our every step? Knowing now that it was him, he was there watching us, is giving me chills. That is so creepy. I don’t know how to face him at school. No, I didn’t mean it like that. Stop looking at me so guilty. Did he do that on purpose, like, did he know about us from the beginning? He often ruined our interactions, like almost each one of them. That was so annoying.

“Ruin our interactions?” Wille questions, as he lifts his head from Simon’s shoulder to look at him.

“Yes, he always interrupted us. Whenever we were talking or together, he was always coming out of nowhere and ruining it. Didn’t you realize that before?” Simon asks.

“Of course I did. I was pissed too. I didn’t think you would notice, too.”

“You were not the only one with a big, fat crush, baby.” Simon chuckles. Finally, a real laugh—music to Wille’s ears.

“Aww, you had a crush on me?” Wille teases.

“First of all, I kissed you first, and second of all, you are blushing and don’t even try to deflect,” Simon says decisively.

“I love you. So much.” Wille says.

“I love you too.” Simon says back. Of course, he does.

“I will never get tired of hearing you say that.” Wille says as they both lean in to kiss. It’s been too long. Hands on cheeks, stupid smiles and all that. The usual. “You know what is weird and not weird at all?” Wille asks after they break the kiss.

“What?” Simon wonders.

“When I am kissing you, it feels like it is the first time but also, it feels like I have been kissing you all my life, like it is so pristine but so familiar.” Wille says, lost in his own thoughts.

“That’s so fucking cheesy. Besides, our first kiss was so awkward.” Simon can’t help but mention.

“No, it wasn’t. I love our first kiss.” Wille says defensively.

“Since when are you this lame?” Simon teases him. “You know what? Don’t actually answer that. You are giving me second-hand embarrassment right now. Just like when you tripped after talking to me for the first time.” he continues.

“You were so cute and hot. A perfect combination, but not for my well-being, though.” Wille says pursing his lips.

“Can you just shut up for one second? Oh my god, you are so annoying.” Simon says as he hides his face in Wille’s shoulder.

“So you keep saying.” Wille laughs heartily. “However, you don’t look a tiny bit annoyed. You look like you are just pretending to hate it, just because you want me to keep saying this corny stuff to you.” he emphasizes.

“How can you read me so well?” Simon says jokingly. He is not joking.

“Love can make you do a lot of things, mi amor.” Wille states flatly.

“You are so cringey. I can’t stand you.” Simon leaves the room.

“You are not fooling anyone, baby.” Wille yells after him, giggling.

He follows him to the kitchen after a couple of minutes. He is definitely a puppy at this point. Simon puts his phone in his pocket and now he is filling the kettle with water and turning it on. He is tapping his fingers on the counter. Is he nervous? Did he get a message or something? “Would you like some herbal tea?” he asks when he notices Wille’s presence. He didn’t even turn his back to see him. “Yes, sure.” Wille says clearly aware that something feels off. “Where is Sara, by the way?” he tries to change the subject. He was already meaning to ask him that. Simon’s face falls a little. The reason why Simon felt nervous had something to do with Sara then. He felt Sara wasn’t a fan of him and they probably didn’t utter a word to each other, although they had been in the vicinity of each other a couple of times. Wille congratulates himself mentally, hitting himself on the forehead.

“Umm, Felice had invited Sara to her family house. With the other girls, as well. Madison also came early from New York, I think. They wanted to do a Girls’ Night or Girls’ Weekend to be exact, before the new term.” Simon replies, his voice quavering a little. He is busying himself with getting mugs, filling them with hot water and dipping the teabags in the mug, waiting for them to steep.

“Okay, I see.” Wille says. He chucks the teabags in the bin after a while and he grabs the mugs and puts them on the kitchen table, which he notices, is in front of the huge curtain-less windows facing the entrance of the house. He doesn’t care if someone passes there and sees them. Simon trails behind him. He wanted to give him some time to collect his face, probably. They sit at the table, taking sips slowly, maybe to avoid talking. Wille wants to ask more, there is something else clearly, except he doesn’t want to pressure him into talking. He can say he is there for him and he is willing to listen, though. There is no harm in that. “You can talk to me. If you want. “ Wille blurts out. “I can see that something is in your mind. You can always talk to me and I am here to listen.” he tries to encourage Simon.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. It is just that we were having a good time and I kinda ruined the mood.” Simon says feeling small.

“You don’t have to hide your emotions with me.” Wille says, repeating Simon’s words back to him with a small smile, holding Simon’s hand on the table.

Simon smiles back. “Hey, that’s my line. You can make up your own reassurances.” he says.

Wille waits for him to continue. “There is something that’s bothering me, yes, and also I need to talk to you about something. Just have everything in the open. Still, it has been an emotional day for you, so I don’t want to burden you right now.”

“You can’t burden me with your problems, Simon. It’s not like we will have to solve each other’s problems the second we tell them. We are not magicians but maybe we can help each other carry them so they won’t be as heavy. That sounds corny, I know you were about to say that.” Wille gives him a tentative smile.

“Nope, I wasn’t going to say that. That is sweet. You are sweet.” Simon swallows slowly and Wille waits.

“She went there on Friday morning. She is supposed to come back today, actually, she should have been here by now because there is school tomorrow. I don’t really know. I sent mom a message to see if she had heard from Sara. She said Sara texted her that she would be home by the evening or something. She didn’t let me know and she also didn’t message me back about us. I was kind of expecting her to say she was happy for me. Our relationship is still a bit strained right now. She was acting weird around me. She kind of avoided me during the holiday. She kinda seems guilty, even though I was the one who started to see Micke again. We are distant now, that has never been the issue before. I feel like we are drifting apart. She has changed after Hillerska, like she is a completely different person. She was also mean to Mom, even though she did everything for me and Sara. I am a year younger than her and I always protected her against bullies and when she changed schools, I followed her here to—” Simon tells him but stops talking suddenly. Then his eyes widen at the realization.

“I can’t believe I am talking about my problems with my sister when your brother—” he doesn’t finish. He cringes at himself. He was being so selfish.

“Hey, don’t do that. You can talk to me about everything. I lost my brother but that doesn’t mean you can’t talk about your sister. That would be so unfair to you. Hey sweetheart, you can tell me, really. I don’t mind at all.” Wille wants him to understand, putting his hand on Simon’s knee, and rubbing it softly.

“Yeah, okay, then. Maybe you will tell me about your brother later.” Simon says, it is so vulnerable.

“I would love that.” he smiles. “Not now, though.”

“Okay. Whenever you want to.”

“Micke... Was that the man I saw in Lucia?” Wille asks.

“Yes.”

“We didn’t really talk about your dad before. I sort of got it he is a sensitive subject. I can listen if you want to talk about him. No pressure though.”

“I know. I want to tell you.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I am sure. I want to. Umm, He is an alcoholic and addict. He says he is clean now but I don’t really know. So mum really tried to get us away from him, she worked really hard to build this home for us. I feel like I am being ungrateful. He was kinda a shitty dad, especially to Sara but he is still my dad you know. I just wanted him in my life. We had lost contact. We moved here, in this house, he doesn’t know where we live, I also thought he doesn’t know where we study, I never told him that. He probably learned it from the news or something.” Seeing Wille’s contorting face he adds “Again, not your fault.”

“But it is.”

“No, it is not. It is not your fault that August recorded us and leaked it. Also, still not your fault that you were born into the royal family and everybody knows you and our relationship makes national news. We will deal with that together. You really need to get that into your thick, pretty head of yours.”

“Ok, understood. My head is pretty.”

Simon raises his eyebrows challenging him. “Don’t deflect. I am being serious. I mean it.”

“I know. I am starting to believe you now. How did you get in touch with him again?”

“I started seeing him when I asked for booze for your initiation.”

“Why? You don’t even drink.”

“How do you know that?”

“I am just... observant.”

“We were at a party once, and I was already leaving when I saw you.”

“That means I am a really good observant then.”

“Just like how you “observed” how I like my coffee.”

“I can’t take my eyes off of you, then. Are you happy now?”

“Yes, very. Umm, August kind of implied that he was going to invite us to the party only if I can score the drinks. If he didn’t exist, we would have zero problems by the way.” August’s name leaves a sour taste in their mouths.

“Anyway, Sara really wanted to go so I had to. I wanted to do that for her. She didn’t have any friends. Isn’t it ironic that I contacted Micke for her and she is upset with me because of it right now?” he laughs.

“Yes, it kind of is. “ Wille says halfheartedly. He can’t help but feel a little disappointed that Simon came to his party for Sara but he tries not to show that as Simon shares this important part of himself with him, which Wille is sure Simon probably doesn’t do often.

“Are you disappointed that I wasn’t there to see you?” Simon laughs, always seeing right through him.

“Yes, kinda. Was I that transparent? I am sorry. You were telling me something huge and I was...”

“Don’t be. It is okay. Aaand for your information, I was also there to see you. It wasn’t that selfless.” he reveals. That earns him a sweet smile. His dorky boyfriend. “You were cute singing my song to me, even though you completely butchered it.”

“I could never do that if I wasn’t drunk. And now, I feel really stupid. You have seen me drunk like three times or more? You had to deal with me, too. Are you uncomfortable with me drinking?” Wille asks.

“No, I am not and you couldn’t have known that but umm... But it is really exhausting to take care of drunk people. And more importantly, I was so scared that night.” Simon says.

“I am sorry.”

“I know.”

“It won’t happen again.”

“You can drink, oh my God! I am your boyfriend, not your chaperone.” Wille blushes at that but Simon stores it away for another time since this moment between them is still vulnerable. “But maybe don’t drink so much into oblivion, okay?”

“Okay. I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Simon’s phone rings then and it is an unknown number. 

✨

Chapter Text

✨

January 10, Sunday 14.35  

They are still sitting at the table, their mugs in front of them, long forgotten and their their tea gone cold. Wille feels content that he finally told Simon about August. He was feeling like he was betraying his trust since he learned the truth. He had already broken his trust so many times before. Now that he has a second chance, he wouldn’t ruin it. He couldn’t tell him about that back then, of course, there were so many resentments between them. It is all in the past now. When he hugged Simon after the Christmas ceremony and he told him he loved him, it was a promise. For Wille. Maybe, Simon didn’t understand it back then. He was so ready to burn down the bridges, to set the city on fire. He had just found out about August and that his mother knew that but didn’t do anything about it because it was inconvenient for her. Wille felt so alone; he had nobody. That sadly included Simon, too. He had already denied it was him at that point, but he was going to do something. Simon not saying -I love you- back broke his encouragement a little but he was ready. Now that he knows Simon thought it was a goodbye and he couldn’t say he loved him back, Wille is sure he didn’t really get it. It was a goodbye for Simon but it was a hello for Wille. As corny as that sounds. He was determined to get him back, to get his life back. We know how it turned out with the second statement he gave but still, life is full of surprises. Maybe, there were some ups and downs on their way to finding each other again, to this very moment but here they are now. He managed to be honest with him and everything is okay. He still has his own struggles, his own battles, with himself, with his family, with Erik’s passing. He knows he can talk to Simon; he will listen. 

Simon feels relieved after having shared what has been bothering him, how his relationship with his father is, that he hates feeling awkward with his sister. It is like a weight is lifted from his shoulders. It’s always hard to show your vulnerabilities to anybody. However, Wille is not anybody. How long has it been since he showed a big part of himself that he didn’t feel like he handed them a map of his wounds on a silver platter? A map showing where to press so that it hurts the most? He didn’t have that. Not with a stranger. He looks at his caring, gentle boyfriend, he is no stranger anymore. Having everything out in the open feels monumental now. He knows he can talk to Wille; he will listen. 

Of course, they don’t know everything about each other. They are not there yet, considering nobody could ever know anyone, not completely. So, they are fine. Really really fine. They are each other’s person. The one, maybe? Or they are soulmates? Who knows? 

During the weekend, Simon checked his phone from time to time, unlike Wille. He only answered calls and texted back if it is his mom, Ayub or Rosh. He didn’t check Instagram, their classmates probably sent them messages, hopefully supportive things but he didn’t bother. Simon had made his account private even before that Insta live. Lots of people were sending him DMs. He didn’t want to deal with harassment, crude comments, and invasive questions. They really should get a life. That didn’t mean he was ashamed. He wasn’t, not at all. He was out for a long time to his friends and his family, the people who matter. He wasn’t exactly keeping it a secret but he didn’t want his private moments to be shared, to be viewed by thousands of people only to be demonized by the media, to be stalked by strangers. That was their first time for fuck’s sake. Only their second kiss, too. When he thinks about Wille, him being insecure before he told him he liked him back and seeing how Wille completely broke down his walls he built around himself afterward, how confident he felt in his skin, how he didn’t shy away from showing his desires, how he prioritized pleasuring Simon more than himself. People would never understand that, they would never know what that moment really was. It was art to Simon. “Art is love made public.” he retrieves the quote from his memory with a small smile. Wille smiles back even though he doesn’t know what that was about. He will make him watch that sometime. He wants to do normal things with his boyfriend, like binging a TV show under a blanket, cuddling, and stealing kisses. Doing mundane things was a luxury for them.  

“Whereas someone else, someone with a set of eyes capable of seeing beyond societal conventions, beyond their defining biases, such a beholder might see an image of two men caught in an act of pleasure. Erotic to be sure, but also... vulnerable. Neither aware of the camera. Both of them connected to the moment of each other. To love. And as I have suggested before in this class, art is love made public.” 

Hernando, Sense8

People were giving him funny looks at school, at the grocery store, at the bus. They looked like they forgot he is a person, with feelings and all that. People are cruel. And he was supposed to find that out when he is much older, not when is sixteen and in love. He already knew that of course; he didn’t have a simple life. He fends those thoughts away. He is spending time with Wille now. They didn’t have a chance to spend so much time together before, alone, without having to care about classes to attend, without unnecessary people who swore to disturb them, without bodyguards following them everywhere. This was new for them. And God, wasn’t it fascinating?  

“Okay. I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

Simon believes him. He really believes him. He takes a sip of his tea and he grimaces. It is cold and it tastes bitter. Wille laughs at him. So loudly that you could think it was the funniest joke. He gets up from his chair and gives a quick kiss on Simon’s head. How long have they been doing that again? His brain gets mushy from these spontaneous acts of affection pouring from this boy. Wille already picked the mugs up and made his way to the kitchen. They weren’t drinkable anymore apparently. Simon’s phone rings, he retrieves it from his pocket, surprised it is an unknown number. He picks it up, if it is some reporter or something, he can tell them to fuck off. Or go to hell because he has manners. He is tired of being scared and attentive. They are together now but they don’t want to speak to some stranger about their relationship. Everything is so new and fresh. They don’t owe anything to them just because they are out together. 

“Hey.” he says to the phone. 

“Hello Simon.” a voice greets back. It is a woman’s voice as far as he can tell. She doesn’t butcher his name with an Americanized pronunciation like that reporter who showed up at his door. She isn’t some foreign media then. 

“Who is this?” he asks. 

“It is Kristina.” the woman says. 

“Kristina who?” Simon asks. 

She coughs and “Wilhelm’s mother,” the queen says. 

Wille gets back to the living room just at the right time when he hears the name Kristina. He doesn’t genuinely think it’s her. Not yet but Simon’s eyes widen and it hits him. It is really his mother, calling Simon on his phone. He rushes to him, takes the phone from his hands, and brings it to his ear. Simon is surprised. He doesn’t know why the queen is calling him but he is almost sure he is gonna exiled to Siberia or Antarctica or something. He will never be able to see Wille again. Would he have cell reception in Antarctica? He really dug his own grave; he can’t believe himself. He is not stupid, of course, he knows the queen’s, no his boyfriend’s mother’s name but he couldn’t even imagine Kristina at the end of the line could be Wille’s mother, let alone the fact that she was calling Simon of all people. Their first interaction was awkward as hell. The second one is a good competition now. 

“Why are you calling him?” Wille questions. Simon goes to his room. He shouldn’t be hearing this conversation. It is between Wille and his mother. He sits on his bed as Wille comes after him, sitting next to him leaving no space between them, turning on the speaker. “I don’t have anything to hide from you.” he says with his eyes. Simon gives him a small smile, holding his hand for support. Wille was already about to call her if she gave him a chance to, but now Wille is ambushed with a sudden call, without having a chance to build up his nerves. He holds on to him tighter. 

“Yours was off. I tried calling you a few times.” the queen says. 

“It was off for a reason.” Wille says, a little bit of venom clear in his voice. 

“I know, yes that’s why I didn’t come talk to you.” she continues. 

“Thank you for the bare minimum, respecting my wishes must be so hard for you.” Wille says defensively. 

“Don’t twist my words, Wilhelm.” the queen sighs. 

“Did you call to reprimand me?” Wille scoffs. 

“No, of course not. I saw the live. Everybody did. You said you denied it because you weren’t ready to come out.” 

“I am not stupid. I wasn’t gonna say the queen made me deny it because that was bad for our reputation. And that wasn’t even a lie. I wasn’t ready. If only you let me not say anything and be with him. That’s on you.” he counters. Simon looks at him burrowing his eyebrows. He would have preferred that instead of Wille denying him.  

“I am really bad at this. That wasn’t what I was going to say at all. Can we start over?” 

“What?” Wille exclaims looking at Simon. They are very surprised. There is some hustle and whispering at the other end of the line. Is it Wille’s dad? 

“Can we start over? This conversation, I mean. I am not really good at this.” 

“Okay.” Wille agrees. She is not good at a lot of things. “What does she imply exactly?” he wonders. 

“Is this a good time to talk?” 

“Yes? We are already talking, aren’t we?” Wille is really confused now. 

“No, Wilhelm, this is me starting over. Is this a good time to talk? For you? I was worried and that’s why I called you on Simon’s phone. We can do that face to face if you want. I can come by in a few hours.” the queen says. 

“It is fine. We can talk now. I don’t think I have the nerves to wait for you. Let’s just talk and get this over with.” he deflates. That’s something weird in this conversation, he can’t put his finger on it yet. It’s like she is not his mother and somebody is messing with him. 

“Am I on speaker? I can hear my voice echoing back.” 

“Yes.” Wille says flatly. Does it need explaining why? 

“Oh okay. I don’t mind Simon listening. I will save you the trouble. You probably will tell him everything anyway.” the queen laughs. The Queen of Sweden, his mother laughs and she sounds sincere, not aggressive? This is new; he wasn’t expecting that. Somebody must be pulling a prank on him. 

The queen begins speaking again. “I am proud of you. For coming out. I know it wasn’t easy and I am one of the reasons it wasn’t easy. No, I probably made sure it wasn’t easy. I just want to say that I am proud of you. You are my son and I love you no matter what, no matter who you like, no matter what your sexual prefer... Sorry, I meant sexual orientation. Your father raises his eyebrows at me, he is better at this. I am still learning. However, I should be the one talking to you right now because I owe you so many apologies.” the queen says. Wille is frozen, he is beyond surprised. Is he dreaming? Is he still at the palace, miserable from missing Simon so much? Is this really happening, his mother apologizing, saying she loves him, saying she is proud of him? How is any of this real? He looks at his boyfriend with tears in his eyes, Simon also looking at him with so much love, holding his hand and squeezing it once, to remind him that he is here, they are here, that is his mother talking. All of it is real. They feel hopeful. 

The queen continues talking. “I am sorry for not saying I am proud of you or I love you no matter what. Not only when you struggled to live up to my expectations. That should be the first thing I should have said. I am sorry if I made you think I would love you any less, but that’s not an if, right? I made you think that. I have done so many things wrong, I have said a lot of bad things. I wanted you to know that I love you. And I am going to be there for you. I know it is late to say that but I am going to be there for you.”  

“I am also sorry that I didn’t ask for your opinion and sent you to Hillerska without your consent. Although I think you would thank me for that now.” the queen laughs sadly. Both Wille and Simon smile at that. Yes, they are grateful, but Simon thinks they would find each other in every universe. He can out-cheese Wille, alright.  

The queen is silent for a moment and she continues. “I put so much pressure on you. Even before Erik died. You lost your big brother and then I couldn’t even let you grieve over him, put on much more responsibilities on your shoulder. I forgot you are a 16-year-old kid. I was prepared to take over the crown, Erik was too but you weren’t ready for any of this. You didn’t want any of this. Just before when you went back to school, you had said you are always being compared with Erik. You always will be. I feel like I can finally hear you now. I am sorry for not hearing you sooner, sweetheart.” she finishes with her voice cracking, quavering. Wille started crying, silent tears falling down his cheeks. He couldn’t grieve over Erik properly. He is still not sure he processed Erik’s death; his funeral was televised for fuck’s sake. He had to keep his head up for the public, walk slowly and with a straight posture as if this didn’t affect him in any way. He had already stopped wiping his tears at this point. It was futile since they kept coming. He starts fully sobbing at the last part.  His mother hears him? She finally sees him now, not a bad carbon-copy of Erik but himself, Wilhelm? Simon hugs him even tighter as if it was even possible. They are one person at this point. She calls him sweetheart, this isn’t the first time, but this time, it feels like she truly means it.  

“You didn’t even care about being the Crown Prince. I kept bringing up it is a privilege, not a punishment. When I watched you, you looked so relieved, so happy, so full of life. I couldn’t recognize you. What kind of a mother would that make me? I couldn’t recognize my own son because you were happy? If being a prince, more like being my son, took so much from you, how could you think it was a privilege? I was so stubborn to see that. You didn’t ask to be born; nobody does. That’s us, parents’ choice. We choose you to be born, I should be concerned about your well-being, not the other way around. I am really sorry for making you feel like that and burdening you with responsibilities you can’t carry.” Wille keeps crying, asking himself who this person is. He starts to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe, they finally can be a mother and a son, not the queen and the prince. 

“I didn’t even ask how you were when that video is leaked. I told you, no, intimidated you about the consequences. I was horrible to you; I only realize that now. I should have told you I love you and I am proud of you. I should have asked how Simon is, too. I regret everything about how I handled things. You are not my mistakes, Wilhelm. Just because I had some unfortunate romance when I was young doesn't mean yours is too. I didn’t have any right to meddle in your life like that. You are your own person. Just because I am your mother doesn’t give me the right to dictate every move, every decision you make.” Wille still listens to her mother silently, his head on Simon’s shoulder, just like in that locker room. Simon cards his fingers in his head, trying to comfort him. 

“We adults often forget what it feels to be young and full of life. We are often drowning in our boring sad little lives; we lose that excitement. When you are young, love does feel the most important thing. Maybe, there are more important things, maybe not. That is something you will find out for yourself. You are young. You should be able to do young people things. You shouldn’t be thinking about producing heirs, you are just sixteen. That was so stupid of me.” Wille and Simon look at each other, with so much love. They have an understanding, like they are almost reading each other’s minds. They aren’t that naive. You can’t promise forever to anyone. At any age. Maybe this won’t last but what if it does? What if they are meant to be together for a really really long time that it won’t matter if it ends? If, not when. You can’t live with that fear, life would be so unbearable if you can’t stop thinking everything ends at some point. Life is now. They know that. 

“You are going to get attention now, I already said that to you before. I would have changed what I said after. I am sorry for discouraging you with that. I should have protected you; I should have said I will do everything in my power to protect you from that attention. I am sorry Wilhelm, for not realizing things sooner.” Wille was overwhelmed with dealing with everything then. His anxiety was peaking, so him probably getting more media attention didn’t help. His mother acknowledging her mistakes? That feels so good. 

“After your coming-out, we got back to Stockholm and we sat down with your father and watched your speech again. You looked so collected, determined, content, relieved. It was clear that you thought things through and it was calculated, not impulsive. It probably wasn’t your biggest concern then but you have it in you. I could see a future king there. I am not pressuring you; I am just saying you can be a good king. There was so much positive feedback and support for you. You can change things in the future. Maybe that won’t be a punishment then. The world is changing, your generation wouldn’t even bat an eye if they have a queer king. I think it is not a surprise I can’t see further than my nose.” That wasn’t his biggest concern, she was right about that one. He didn’t want to put Simon in the spotlight again. Also, that was their idea, not just his. Maybe, they make a good team together. That makes him smile. He really doesn’t want to think about becoming a king one day. He hopes his mother lives a long, healthy life.  

“I also requested the second statement you gave. I wish I had done that at that time instead of preventing it from being released. During the holiday, you couldn’t even look at me and you were miserable. I am sorry I didn’t realize your life was so difficult because of me. I had so many chances and I missed all of them. I know it is too late, I know you may not forgive me easily or not at all but I am here for you now, as your mother. I hope we can mend things. I think that’s all I have to say to you, for now at least. I want you to be able to trust me again. I also support your relationship in case I wasn't clear enough. We can talk more about that later if you want that.” Wille is at a loss for words. He doesn’t know what to say, where to begin. This also feels too good to be true. He wants to believe his mom. He really does. She sounds sincere, supportive, and remorseful. You can’t just make up for the past mistakes in one day, but this is a really good start. A great one. Still, he has some doubts. She didn’t say anything about August. What if she just changed her mind after she saw the positive feedback? What if she is pretending to support them because there is no way she can take back his coming out? What if she has ulterior motives? He feels bad for even thinking that but his mother isn’t the most reliable. He can’t help but consider the possibilities. Is it really possible that the queen chooses her son over her outdated beliefs? 

“Wilhelm, what do you say?” the queen asks. 

“I am trying to process all of that. Thank you for saying all that. For accepting me for who I am. I was actually surprised you didn’t come here to whisk me away from Simon.” Wille says.

“That’s understandable, Wilhelm. You don’t need to thank me for that, for accepting you of all things. This is not something I will have to tolerate or endure. I am not doing you a favor. I am just being your mother, that’s all. You are my son and I love you and accept you as a whole. I will say it until you believe me. I mean it. You probably find it difficult to believe me. I wasn’t the mother of the year. I understand.” she says. I am just being your mother. Simon alters between holding his hand, drawing circles on it, and squeezing it every once in a while during the conversation. He never lets go, though. When Wille thinks back, she can only see the queen, whose only concern was to remind him, no them; Erik and him, that all of their actions reflect on their family. Didn’t Erik also parrot his mother’s words back at him on his first day at Hillerska? However, he doesn’t blame him for that. He was so much under pressure since he was The Crown Prince. It was just that Erik wanted to follow in his mother’s footsteps but Wille didn’t. He really wanted his mother back. His mother who didn’t sleep a wink when he got sick when he was ten. His mother who comforted him when he got his heart broken for the first time. He just hoped his mother was still there, under all the queen facade and she wasn't gone forever. He just wanted his mother back.

“By the way, I wouldn’t do that. Keep you away, I mean. I couldn’t do that even if I wanted. I already saw it coming when I came to pick you up. You clearly care about each other a lot. I just didn’t want to see it then. Old Kristina would definitely try breaking you up but that’s new Kristina. I was just worried. I called Malin a couple of times and she doesn’t know exactly how you were. They are close to Simon’s house, watching from afar to give you privacy.” the queen says. His mother could tell it wasn’t possible to keep them away from each other? In a such short period of time? Wille doesn’t know what to think.  

“So, you knew I was here. All this time.” he asks instead. 

“Where else would you be?” the queen says. Does she... Does she sound fond? No fucking way. 

“What entails your support precisely, what can and can’t we do?” Wille questions. He isn’t fully convinced. He supposes there would be so many rules and obligations that would drive Simon crazy that leave him no choice but to give up a public relationship. He needs to know. 

“Whatever you want as long as you close your curtains.” the queen jokes. Both Wille and Simon freeze. Neither of them expected the queen to bring up the elephant in the room. At least not in the sense that what actually happens in the video, not the leak itself. “We can’t afford to have another scandal... Not that it was scandalous, not like that at least... I am making things worse. That was inappropriate. Sorry, I was trying to lighten up the mood but I am still not really good at this. Forget what I just said.” she sounds horrified actually. This is the first time Wille hears his mother stammer. That makes them chuckle. Joking about that awful experience is their coping mechanism at this point. “I just don’t want you two going through that again. You had no fault; you didn’t do anything wrong.” she adds and she sounds earnest. Wille really needed to hear that. Things are going well, so far. He doesn’t know what it takes for him to believe her completely. 

“You can do anything as long as you are both comfortable. Joakim and Malin will have to be with you, though. In close proximity, at best. For your security. You are still the Crown Prince and now that you are in a relationship, people would try to approach you. Both of you.” the queen says. 

“Also, Simon are you still there?” she adds after a beat. 

“Yes.” Simon croaks out. 

“I apologize to you, too. You had no media experience and I left you with the wolves. I am really sorry for everything I put you through. If you agree to it, I was planning to get you a bodyguard, too. You will definitely need it more, now that you are my son’s boyfriend. How does that sound?” she says. 

Now Wille knows what it takes. He believes her. Completely. The fact that she, his classist, elitist mother, apologized to Simon, took responsibility for her actions, and considered Simon’s safety by giving him a choice? He believes her. You are my son’s boyfriend?  Wille feels a blush creeping up his cheeks, he goes redder as he thinks about it. Simon doesn’t look him in the eyes. He guesses he is affected too. He remains silent, listening to his mother and his boyfriend’s interaction with a fond expression. 

“Thank you for saying that. Can I think about it? I will have to talk to my mom.” Simon says. 

“Sure, of course, and you don’t need to thank me. Our first impressions weren’t perfect, but I hope we can get along from now on.” she says. 

“Yeah, I hope so, too.” Simon says. He really hopes so. He doesn’t know what Wille thinks about all this recent development. They will talk later, but if his boyfriend’s happy face is an indication, he is not bothered at all. 

“You still need to improve your bow. It was a little peculiar.” she says in a mock-serious voice. 

“Yes, your.... majesty.” he replies lamely. Simon is having a Deja-vu. 

“I am only kidding Simon, and please call me Kristina.” she chuckles. 

“Oh okay.” Simon is going to be on the first name basis... with the Queen of Sweden... who is also his boyfriend’s mother? Never tell him the odds. He thinks of the beginning of this conversation and “Sorry for not recognizing you earlier.” he adds.  

“It took you by surprise. I completely understand. No worries.” she laughs. Wille didn’t know she could really do that. Laugh with emotion, not just out of politeness.  

“Who are you and what have you done to my mother?” he asks with a chuckle, interrupting them finally. 

“Exactly Wilhelm, I am your mother now, not the queen. I am sorry for not seeing the difference before.” Kristina says. She sounds sad and regretful. Wille and Simon look at each other and smile. It is also sad but hopeful. 

“Also, Wilhelm, one more thing, whoever recorded that video will be punished. Don’t worry about that.” Kristina says. It sounds resolved and final but they are both confused. 

“What? Whoever recorded the video? You and I both know it was August. I don’t understand.” Wille just started to trust her again. What is that now? 

“Umm, I wasn’t sure if you had the chance to talk to Simon about that, yet. I thought you would want him to hear from you. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position.” Does his mother have a twin he didn’t know about? Did somebody swap them? What is happening? How can his mother be so thoughtful? She could have dropped that bomb but she didn’t. He is about to cry again.  

“I am glad you were okay and you talked things through. Now that I know he knows too, I can say I am sorry for not prioritizing you over him. He is expelled from school. He is going to continue his education elsewhere. He won’t be your problem anymore. I want you to feel safe at school.” What? Did he hear that right? How is this real?  

“Wait really?” Simon asks. 

“Yes, of course. What he did was also criminally wrong. We can talk later, about how we will proceed with that. I just wanted him to stop bothering you.” 

“I can’t believe you. I am just... speechless.” Wille is baffled. 

“I thought you would be happy. I am sorry I didn’t ask you first.” Kristina says in haste. She can’t afford to make any mistakes anymore. If she wants to repair her faults and reconcile with his only son.  

“No, of course, I am happy. We are happy. Thank you, mama.” Wille says, his voice flowing with so many emotions. 

“That is the least I could do. After everything. Also, if anyone gives you or Simon a hard time, and makes unpleasant remarks, I want you to call me. I know that is rich coming from me but I mean it. You don’t have to deal with that alone anymore.” 

“I am sure I can handle them.” Simon interferes. 

“I bet you can. You are a strong kid. I want you to know you are allowed not to be strong all the time. You don’t have to deal with that all by yourself, though. You also have us by your side now. Me and Ludvig, I mean.” Kristina says. 

Simon feels overwhelmed. That doesn’t feel like she is just talking about what happened after the video. He always had to be strong for his mom, for Sara. It felt good to hear that. She probably knows something about Simon’s family situation. She is the queen; it wouldn’t be hard for her to do some digging. He doesn’t actually mind that she knows but he feels awkward. He pulls his legs to himself, trying to make himself smaller. Wille pulls him closer to him with a hand on his waist. Noticing he is unable to talk, Wille replies for him. “If it ever comes to that, we will tell you.” 

“Okay, if you say so. One last thing, maybe post a couple selfie or something because I was reading the reactions and people haven’t heard from you and they have the most absurd theories. They think I threw you in the dungeons or something.” she says. Wille laughs out loud. He is so happy. Words can’t even describe it. His mama wants them to post a selfie. This feels comical and so unrealistic. Simon’s previous mood changes but he looks confused. 

“Do you have dungeons?” his boyfriend asks, he looks so adorable. 

“Umm, yes.” she plays along. “If you are mean to my son, you will see it for yourself.” she adds. Her voice is so playful, that Wille can’t believe his mama is teasing his boyfriend. What a world! 

“I can’t promise you that.” Simon doesn’t even budge. He looks like he is also enjoying this very much. Wille can’t believe how this conversation turned out.  

“I can see why he likes you.” she says. It is more than that, she doesn’t know that. Maybe he will tell her that later. Still, her acknowledging their feelings, accepting them, and giving them her blessing feel like a dream. Now, he really wants Simon to see where he grew up and to see Simon where he grew up. It never felt like home but Erik and Wille had so many memories in this soulless, bland, huge palace that he wants Simon to know him inside out. 

“Speaking of, I was thinking maybe you can visit the palace for the weekend together. Not necessarily next weekend. We can have dinner and you can show him around. Just think about it.” Kristina adds. Can his mama read his mind now? His smile is so bright, warm, and wide that the sun will probably become unemployed. He would love that. He will ask Simon later.  

“Again, who are you?” Wille giggles. 

“Your mama, not the queen.” she says for a second time and she goes silent and Simon thinks she hung up. 

“I mean this is queen behavior, though.” Simon says. 

“I heard that.” she laughs. “Have a good day and good luck with the new semester. Okay bye now.” Kristina says finally and now the line goes silent.  

Wille and Simon look at each other in shock, like a deer caught in headlights so to speak. And then they burst into laughter. They can’t stop laughing. Wille’s laugh turns into a sob, silent tears falling down his cheeks. 

“Hey baby, what’s the matter?” 

“My mamma loves me; she is proud of me.” 

“Of course, she loves you. How could anybody not love you? You are so easy to love.” 

Simon kisses his forehead and hugs him so tight then, with his whole body. He is not going to let go of him any time soon.  

Or ever. 

✨

Chapter Text

✨

January 10, Sunday 16.15  

Wille is lying down on Simon’s lap and Simon is carding through his strands with his fingers. It has been a while since they hung up the phone and Wille cried because of all the emotions flooding him. Simon made him calm down and guided him to his lap, he knew how it made Wille relax. He needed to sort out his thoughts and what to make out of this turn of events because it was a mess.

“How are you feeling, baby? Do you want to talk about it now?” Simon asks, breaking the silence but his voice is so soothing and gentle.

“I am feeling better now. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, so to speak.” Wille answers honestly. He turns on his side, facing Simon and looking up at him. Simon keeps entangling his hair, looking down at him.

“I know. That’s okay. What are you thinking, you can tell me.” Simon asks.

“I am happy that she finally sees and hears me. At least, that’s what I think she is doing. I had lots of doubts about her intentions, you know? During the whole conversation... Why is she being nice all of a sudden?” Wille says.

“Do you still have doubts now?”

“Only a little but not really. I don’t know, I am still processing. I think she means it. She apologized for almost every shitty thing she had done. I am actually surprised, I feel like I am dreaming. It feels so unreal.”

“She is your mother, you know her better than anyone, but can I tell you what I think?”

“Of course.” Wille gets up from his lap and sits cross-legged next to him, Simon also mirrors his position on the bed, settling opposite him, their knees touching.

“I believe she is being genuine. Maybe, she realized she could lose you completely and that was a wake-up call for her. Also, she understands now that you being queer won’t go away, even if I am in the picture or not. No, don’t object. That’s not about me. Monarchies are all about keeping the traditions, maybe that’s also why you find it so hard to believe but she finally saw you are more important. I think things are looking up now. Don’t you think so?” Simon says, taking Wille’s hand between his hands and rubbing it with his thumbs. Wille closes his eyes, both at the contact and the reassurance. He wants to believe it so much.

“Yes, I think so too. We still have a long way to go before we are a mother and a son again. It won’t happen in a day but I hope it will, eventually. My mom never apologized before. I still can’t believe she said all these things. It felt so good to finally hear her say she loves me and is proud of me.”

“You deserve to hear that every day, baby.” Simon says. “I also love you and I am proud of you, too.” he adds and he urges him to go on.

“Umm, I always felt pressure when I was a child, about how to behave, what to say or whatever, but the last couple of years, especially when I became a prince officially, I felt like I was a puppet, for my mother to pull the strings to her liking. After so long, I feel like I am her son.” Wille says, voice cracking.

“I am so sorry you had to go through that. You don’t have to forgive her right now. This must be difficult to process, to get everything behind. All the things she apologized for; I didn’t know some of them. Thank you for trusting me with this, letting me listen to your conversation with your mother.”

“Thank you for being there for me. I didn’t know what to expect and you helped so much. It was a lot. And I am not keeping anything away from you again.”

“You don’t have to do that, Wille. You can tell me later if you feel like it. I don’t have to know as it happens. I trust you, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Do you think your father also has something to do with your mother’s attitude change?”

“Maybe. He was there when we talked on the phone. They must have discussed it before she called. He doesn’t get a lot of say in most things. I would be really surprised if he said anything. I will talk to him later.” he says. “We were close when I was little, you know. He was the one who got us into rowing. We would go sailing together—me, him and Erik. We would have so much fun. We would come back, all of us soaking in water and mom would get so annoyed. She would draw us a warm bath, change us and give us little kisses on our hair after putting us to bed.” he smiles sadly. “Erik and I would be giggling so much that our bellies would hurt. Mom used to warn us not to do it again because we could get sick. We always did it again, though. Erik and I would wear our puppy faces and dad couldn’t say no to us.” he continues with a chuckle. “I don’t know what happened to our family. We kinda drifted apart. Mom became the queen after my grandfather died six years ago and she became cold and distant.” he ends it sadly.

“She didn’t sound cold and distant on the phone. She is really changing or trying. For you, because she loves you.” Simon says warmly.

“I have never heard my mom teasing or laughing after her coronation. It was so weird.” he laughs.

“She knows how to tease, alright.” Simon says with a chuckle.

“She was nice to you, right?” Wille says expectantly.

“Yes, she was, Wille.” Simon says and it is not just to ease his mind. She was nice. It was about time but better late than never.

“You are on a first-name basis with my mom now.” Wille teases him.

“Oh my god, don’t remind me.” Simon hits his knee softly and hides his face with his hands and groans.

“You not recognizing my mom. That was hilarious.” Wille says as he pulls Simon’s hands from his face and holds them simply on his lap.

“Wille, can you please shut up? It is not like I talk to the queen every day.”

“I won’t. I was horrified when I heard my mother’s name but I can make fun of you now. This is fun.” Wille chuckles.

“I thought it was a reporter again. There were so many reporters who called me to give them an interview. One of them even came to my house.”

“What?” Wille says as he stops drawing circles on his hand.

“Didn’t I tell you that?” Simon asks, he doesn’t remember if it came up or not.

“No. Did they harass you? Oh my god! I didn’t know they even came here. Do you remember their names and who they work for?” Wille says frantically. He also gets up from the bed and starts looking for something.

“Wille...” Simon tries to say something but Wille doesn’t seem to hear.

“We need to accept my mom’s offer on security. What if they do it again? I can’t believe I didn’t think about that before. I am so sorry. Here’s what we should do. Until my mom sends a bodyguard for you, Joakim or Malin should accompany you everywhere. Have you seen my phone? I need to make a phone call.” Wille still continues without stopping for a breath. He is still looking for his phone.

“Wille, it is not necessary...” Simon tries again.

“I think you should have Malin, you like her better. I need to call mom, too. She should also send a car for you. You are taking the bus, what if they try to approach you now?” Simon reaches to him from where he is sitting on the bed. He grabs Wille’s hand, pulls him, and looks up at him.

“Wille. Wille, can you please calm down? Please. Just sit.” Simon says softly.

Wille takes a seat opposite him. “I am sorry.” he says.

“You are not allowed to say that. You have already used up all of your quotas. It’s not your fault. I told that reporter to leave and he did. It wasn’t bad, I swear.”

“You sure? But...”

“Yes, I am. I don’t think I need a bodyguard.”

“But what if you...”

“I don’t need it. I just didn’t want to refuse your mom’s offer right away. It would be rude.”

“If you say so.”

“I say so.”

“If something happens...”

“I will tell you, don’t worry.” he assures him.

“Okay then. Also, you didn’t want to be rude. Sounds fake but okay.” Wille shakes his head and laughs.

“Shut up. I am nice.”

“You are. You are very nice and lovely and cute and...”

“Here, we go again.” Simon sighs, with a smile.

“Yeah, you look like you really hate it.” he teases. Wille decides it is time to turn on his phone finally, now that he has it with him. He already faced the person he avoided the most anyway. There are a lot of supportive messages from their classmates. He replies to Felice’s text. He will do the rest later.

Felice

I am so proud of you, omg.

That was so brave.

I am so happy for you. <3

Wille

My phone was off. Sorry for not replying earlier.

Thank you. I am so happy, too. <3

I will text you later. I am still with Simon. :)

Felice

I figured. :)

“How about that selfie, now?” Wille says.

“What? Are you serious?” Simon is taken aback.

“Yes, we need to confirm we are not rotting in a dungeon. This is important.” Wille says with a big smile.

“Wille, I didn’t mean that.”

“I know. I want to post a picture with my boyfriend, too. We are not Instagram official yet.” Wille tries to keep a straight face saying that. He fails.

“You are an idiot.” Simon says with a big smile and he realizes what he has just said. He knows what is coming. Wille raises his eyebrows cheekily.

“You just want me to say it so bad. Admit it.” Wille says.

“No, what makes you think I want to hear you embarrass yourself?”

“I remember you saying that was cute. I remember very vividly, it was only yesterday.”

“I lied. This is not cute.” Simon lies.

“I will believe it when I see it.”

“Let’s take that photo. Oh my god.” Simon says.

They take a couple of photos, trying different poses and Wille opens Instagram for the first time after he ended the live. He chooses the photo and writes a caption that says enough and presses send.

(Wille is facing the front, looking at the camera, with a big sunshine smile, Simon is on his side, kissing him on the cheek, with his hand on Wille’s chin, only his fingers visible in the frame, also smiling into the kiss. They look so happy. They are so happy. With the caption No filter 🧡) 

Simon’s phone rings while they are still looking at the comments. It has so many likes and comments in ten minutes and they are really dumbfounded. Wille’s followers have increased a significant amount in two days. Before that, Wille used the account for publicity for the royal family. There were only tailored, perfect photos which are approved by the PR team. People saw him as a real person now, and they were intrigued apparently. Simon picks up the phone, seeing it is Ayub.

“Hey Simme, what’s up? Is Wille still there?” he says as a greeting.

“Yes, why?” he replies.

“We wanted to drop by and see you today before the school starts again. We can meet later then.” Ayub says. Wille also hears what he says, it is still audible because they are sitting close. Wille feels bad for stealing Simon from his friends for so long.

“Actually, you can come, we can hang out together.” Simon says as he is looking at Wille. Wille nods. He is nervous but if Simon wants that, he is not going to refuse.

“Are you sure?” Ayub says. Then there is some chatter in the background. He is with Rosh then.

“Yes, Rosh has to get along with Wille at some point. He is not going anywhere.” Simon says confidently. Wille makes a shy face and hides his head on Simon’s shoulder. Simon smiles.

“Oh really?” Ayub teases.

“Can you not?” Simon begs.

“Okay, open the door then.” Ayub tells him.

“What!? You were already here? Why didn’t you ring the doorbell then?” Simon asks, he can see Wille is panicked a little.

“We wanted to give you time to be decent.” Ayub laughs.

“Omg, shut up! Why do you always think we are... Okay, never mind. I know why. Hang on a second.” Simon says. He hangs up.

“Rosh and Ayub are coming by. They are here.” Simon says.

“Is that a good idea?” Wille asks tentatively.

“Are you scared?” Simon laughs at him.

“Rosh is intimidating. A little.” Wille confesses.

“She is. A lot.” Simon agrees.

“Thank you, Simon. Now, I am feeling a lot better.” Wille says annoyed. He is taking this too seriously. It is so endearing.

“You will be fine.” Simon says in a comforting voice.

“How are you so sure? Wille doesn’t look convinced.

“I am.” he says. “I should get the door now or they will think we are making out.” he adds. Wille’s face goes a little pink. Simon exits his room to get the door.

“Thank you for the image before I see your friends.” Wille feigns annoyance.

Wille goes after him. He doesn’t know where he should stand. Should he wait in the living room or should he greet them by the door? Why is he getting so nervous? He decides to stand in the middle. Wille doesn’t know what to do. How he is going to greet them? Is a handshake too formal? Maybe, he should go sit down in the living room and do nothing but that would be rude. What if he stands up and does nothing, and that is even more awkward? Ayub comes in first and hugs Simon. Rosh is just behind.

“What took you so long?” he teases, looking one from to one another, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up before I throw you out of my house.” Simon darts back.

“This is my house too, Simme. I remember you saying that all these years ago. You can’t do anything about it now.” Ayub says and he also wraps Wille in a friendly hug and he is so sweet. Wille doesn’t know why he was overthinking this. Rosh also hugs Simon and asks how he is doing. She looks wary of Wille. I mean, he was expecting that.

“Hey Wille, what’s up?” Ayub says.

“I am good thanks. How are you?” he asks politely.

“Not as good as you are, probably. Also, congrats on your coming out. That was really brave of you.” Ayub says sincerely. Simon looks at his friend fondly.

“Umm, thanks.” Wille says as he hears Rosh mutter “Better late than never.”

“Sorry for bursting your bubble, though. We wanted to see Simon.” he adds.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Simon says.

“Hey Rosh, how are you?” Wille asks.

“I am good.” she says and she makes her way to the living room. Simon mouths “sorry” to Wille and goes after her. Wille hears him whispering “Can you be nice? Please.” to her. Ayub and Wille go after him. Ayub sits next to Rosh and Wille goes and sits next to Simon, leaving little space between them. They are not touching but they are close enough. Simon looks at him with a smile. He shouldn’t be surprised but he is glad Wille didn’t pick the armchair.

“We were going to have a game night yesterday but thanks to the prince, we couldn’t.” Rosh says stiffly.

“I am sorry. I didn’t know.” Wille begins. Ayub nudges her arm.

“Rosh. Don’t be ridiculous. Should we have rescheduled his coming out because we had a game night? Don’t be so petty.” Simon says. He gets closer to Wille, he knows his boyfriend would appreciate his touch now.

“Whatever.” she says dismissively.

“We can play now if you want.” Wille suggests.

“That would be great. I am in.” Ayub says.

“Me too. Let me get Monopoly.” Simon says. He gets up from his seat to get it and Ayub clears the coffee table. Wille realizes this is such a familiar thing for them. He feels envious. Simon comes back and they set up the game, and they sit on the floor.

“Do you even know how to play?” Rosh says, looking at Wille.

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?” Wille asks confused.

“Silly me. I am sure you know how to play games. And people.” she says.

“Rosh!” Simon says. Ayub nudges her again.

“What?! I don’t know if he is going to change his mind again.” she says.

“He is sitting right here.” Ayub whispers.

“That’s okay. I am not. Going to change my mind, I mean.” Wille says, a little deflated. Rosh isn’t exactly wrong to not believe him.

“We will see.” she mutters. They all roll the dice to decide who will go first. Simon hopes she stops being mean soon. Wille rubs his knee under the coffee table, to tell him he doesn’t mind.

“Okay prince, you go first...” Rosh says. Simon panics because he knows Wille doesn’t like being called prince but he doesn’t react except with his 2-second grimace only Simon can notice. He begins playing.

Rosh watches them. Wille isn’t shy exactly. Rosh saw the selfie they posted recently, she doesn’t follow the prince on Insta but someone sent it to their class group chat immediately but she needs to see it herself. She can see Simon looks happy, he is happy. He was miserable during the holiday break and he is joyful, now. He is even enjoying playing this game he didn’t even like anymore because they played it a hundred times. Rosh is happy for him but she should be sure about the prince won’t run away at the minor inconvenience. She knows it wasn’t a minor problem but anyway. She saw Simon’s pained face when Wille denied them. It was so bad. Everyone is having so much fun except her apparently. She is a little jaded, sue her. Life wasn’t nice to her, either.

They play, in turns. She watches them closely, and observes the prince. Simon shows them something on his phone and they laugh animatedly. Wille was looking at Simon all this time, with his hand under his chin, adoration clear on his face. He looks adorable, if she is being honest. Rosh won’t budge easily though. She won’t.

“It is your turn prince.” Rosh reminds him again. He is distracted because he is too busy to look at Simon. Rosh is annoyed for thinking it is so sweet. She can feel his wall crumble a little. Simon notices why Wille was distracted and gets shy. Rosh isn’t exactly used to seeing this side of Simon. He deserves it.

“Yeah sorry, I am playing.” he rolls the dice and moves his token piece. He ends up in jail and he can’t get out because he doesn’t have enough money. Ironic. Wille grabs a clementine then. Is it his favorite, too? He is peeling it and he doesn’t eat it. He gives the peeled fruit to Simon. Simon looks at him fondly and takes it. He splits it in half and starts eating it one piece at a time and offers the other half to Wille. He doesn’t take it, shaking his head. Simon feeds him a small piece and Wille doesn’t refuse this time and they just stare into each other, forgetting they have an audience. They look so stupid. How can Rosh stay angry at Wille if he pulls this shit? This is so sweet.

Rosh isn’t going to give up easily. She is not. Simon plays and he is indebted to the bank and he loses valuable property and he curses. The prince rubs his knee because Simon lost. This is a game and they are playing against each other, for god’s sake. Is the prince always a cinnamon roll like this? A little smile escapes her against her will. She tries to keep a straight face. She said she won’t make it easy for the prince. She is going to keep her promise. Unlike the prince. This makes her angry again.

“You can play now, your highness.” she says sarcastically. She realizes he doesn’t like his title or being called a prince but he doesn’t say anything. He is trying to be on her good side. That’s nice; Rosh feels bad. Simon looks like he is looking for something and Wille passes him a hoodie with a small smile. Simon takes him with a smile, too, and wears it. Do they stop smiling at each other, like at all? Wille tries to warm him up by rubbing his arms. Again, they are cute and it is annoying, for other reasons now. She is a little impressed by the prince. How did he realize Simon was cold without a word? Maybe, Simon is in good hands. It is the little details, she thinks. Now, Wille is asking Ayub about gaming. He is trying so hard.

“Simon said you game together and you are really good.” Wille asks him.

“I don’t know if I am good but I have fun, that’s what is important for me. We play together sometimes but that’s mostly just me.” Ayub answers, feeling humbled about being complimented on his gaming skills.

“Maybe, you can start a twitch channel.” Wille suggests.

“We should play together. I bet I can get you the views.” Simon jokes.

“Simon, can you please not joke about that?” Wille sounds serious and sad. Wille knows they have joked about that before. When it is just the of them. However, this is not about that either. He knows now that the aftermath of the video was way worse for Simon than he thought. Also, this is more about a lot of strangers watching them, not that they have had sex. Simon should fix this.

“That’s how I cope. Anyways, I am the one who is visible—” Simon interrupts himself. And now he made it worse. He shouldn’t have said that. Wille’s face goes sour. Simon realizes what he has just said and tries “Not anymore, though. Everyone knows now.” Wille still looks sad. ”I was on the receiving end so I don’t have a problem with it.” he tries this time. Simon is desperate to get a smile from him. Rosh and Ayub were watching them without saying a single thing and now they are looking at Wille expectantly, waiting for his reaction.

“Simon.” he exclaims. That gets a gasp from him, followed by a chuckle. He shakes his head at Simon. Finally.

Rosh watches Wille closely. He looks scandalous, a little embarrassed, maybe but not ashamed. “You are not going to receive anything in the future if you don’t stop talking.” the prince threatens Simon and that shuts him up immediately, with him covering his mouth with his hand and all. So dramatic. That makes all of them burst into laughter, including Rosh. She is surprised they are talking about that, so freely.

They continue playing and the prince goes to the kitchen and comes back with a jug of water. He fills Simon’s glass first and then theirs and lastly his. He is a prince of course he has manners but that’s still sweet. He looks like he has been here longer than just two days. She can’t imagine Linda being less than nice to him but still. He is just so comfortable here, around Simon, around them. Despite herself. Ayub’s phone pings.

“Lucas texted me, he says he can’t make it tomorrow.” he announces to the room, but mostly to Rosh.

“Who?” Simon asks, after drinking his water in one big gulp.

“Simon, did you have a short-term memory loss or something? He dropped you off on Friday?” Rosh says, seeing Simon doesn’t remember him for the second time. Lucas had no chance.

“Oh, did you forget your date’s name? This is so rude.” Wille teases. He knows about Lucas? Rosh is surprised. He doesn’t look bothered at all.

“He was not my date.” Simon says, enunciating each word.

“Oh, I know, you love me.” Wille says smugly. This is why he wasn’t bothered then. Wait a second, what? Simon loves him? Ayub also looks surprised.

“Can you please shut up?” Simon is shy. Rosh has never seen him this shy.

“You love him?” Ayub asks.

“Yes, he loves me too. Sooo...” Simon answers. He sounds so sure. Being sure of being loved must be nice.

“What? When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell us? Not that you have to.” Ayub says.

“Calm down. I just told him yesterday.”

“But I told you before the holidays.” Wille challenges him. Yeah, Simon didn’t tell them that. He couldn’t. He could hardly believe it himself at the time.

“You told him that after you broke up?” Rosh asks.

“Yes.”

“You didn’t tell us that.” Rosh looks at Simon.

“What was the point?” Simon says flatly.

“Thank you, Simon. I am flattered.” Wille says amused.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do.”

Rosh can’t help but ask “Why did you tell him you love him though? After you broke up. To mess with his head?” Simon’s eyes go wide at her question.

“What? No, of course not.” Wille answers frantically. He never thought it like that.

“Umm, it was like a promise for me.” He makes eye contact with Simon. “I wanted to make things better and do everything I can to find a way to take back what I did and be together. I don’t know. It just felt right to say it. I wanted him to understand I wouldn’t give up on him.” Simon thinks about that day and replays the events. Wille said they couldn’t be seen together and then he hugged him in front of everybody. He apologized and said he loved him. Simon gets teary and Wille realizes and tries brushing it off. “You thought I was saying goodbye, I clearly failed.” he laughs. Rosh gets emotional. She wipes a single tear without them noticing. Ayub sees him and smiles. He also looks affected. The prince promised in his own way and he kept it, somehow.

Wille’s phone rings and he heads for the front door and comes back with pizza boxes.

“I thought we would be hungry. I realized we finished the leftovers yesterday when I went to get some water. I ordered pizza, I hope everybody loves it. Sorry for not asking. There are a lot of types.” Wille says, shifting his weight from one foot to another, unsure, as if he did something wrong.

“Of course we love pizza. Who doesn’t like pizza? This is great Wille, thanks I was starving.” Ayub says gratefully. They clear the table, since the game was forgotten. They open a couple of boxes. He is so thoughtful. This is too much for four people. Simon is sure his dorky boyfriend thought about his mom and Sara too.

“I am gonna be back in a minute, you dig in.” Wille goes to the kitchen.

“He is not going to get forks and knives, right?” Ayub asks confused.

“No Ayub, he is not a monster.” Simon laughs.

The prince comes back with a ketchup bottle and gives it to Simon. He settles in on the floor and takes a slice from the box and takes a few bites. He was starving too. Ayub and Rosh start eating too. Simon is looking at him confused.

“So you like it on pizza?” Simon says as a question.

“I don’t but I am sure you do.” he says as he keeps eating with his mouth full and licking his finger doing so. Simon is watching the motion but gets distracted after opening one last box and keeping the rest for Sara and Linda. He is surprised this one has pineapple. He looks at Wille questioningly. Wille just shrugs.

“You didn’t have to. It is not like my favorite.” Simon says.

“I just wanted to. I still think this is a food crime, though.” he chuckles. Rosh can’t believe he is encouraging this. Rosh also hates pineapple pizza but she is endeared too.

“You love me.” Simon says.  

“Yes, so?” Wille says, for the umpteenth time. Simon has enough. He gets up and makes Wille stand up too. “You are coming with me.” he commands. Wille doesn’t even ask why and follows him. “We will be back in a few minutes.” he yells to the living room.

“Take your time.” Ayub yells back.

“They are totally gonna make out. Should we leave?” Rosh asks.

“I am not going without eating my pizza.” Ayub says flatly.

“That’s so valid.”

Simon guides him to his room and closes the door. Wille looks panicked.

What is it? Did I do something ...?” he begins.

Simon pushes him to the wall and kisses him with so much eagerness and passion. It feels like it has been so long since they kissed. He cards his fingers through Wille’s hair. Wille kisses back immediately, but he doesn’t put his hands on his waist or his neck. His koala bear reincarnation of a boyfriend doesn’t touch him while kissing him. Simon pulls back and looks at him. He looks at his hands, he is keeping them at his sides, away from Simon.

“My hands were greasy. I didn’t want to get it on you.” he says lamely.

“Oh my god, you are a dumbass,” Simon says and Wille finds a towel on the rack and wipes his hands quickly. He licks his lips and dives in for a kiss again. He squeezes his waist, pulling him closer by his hips. This is more like how Simon wanted to be kissed. Wille is touching his skin under his t-shirt and Simon feels dizzy. They stop for a breath and Simon puts his head on Wille’s shoulder to control his breathing.

“You must really like pineapple.” Wille says. Simon hits his arm.

“Did I ever tell you you are an idiot?” he says amused.

“Yes, constantly. You are not so bright either, since you are so turned on by it.” Wille says, proud of himself.

“Shut up. It is just, that you are so amazing, back there. So thoughtful, sweet, caring. She is being hard on you and you are doing your best to deal with it. You are trying so hard, for me.” Simon says, he is overwhelmed.

“That’s what you deserve. Nothing less.” he says as he finds Simon’s hands and intertwines their fingers.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Let’s go back.”

“I can’t believe you took me to your room just to make out with me.” Wille teases.

“I had to kiss you. Would you prefer if I did it there?” he jokes.

“You could have. I wouldn’t mind. Not exactly what we did here but you can kiss me when we are with them. They are your friends. I am comfortable if you are.”

Simon groans and “Why are you saying this shit which makes me want to kiss you even more? We will be here forever.” he says. Wille chuckles and gives him a quick peck and pulls him by his hand and they go back to the living room.

Ayub whistles and Rosh snickers at them.

“What happened to your hair, Wille?” she asks. Simon looks at his hair and his hair is everywhere. He really messed it up. He tries to fix it and then... Wait a second... Ayub beats him to it.

“Wille?” Ayub asks raising his eyebrows. They take a seat on the love seat, Ayub and Rosh are also on the couch now.

“Does this mean you are done being mean to him?” Simon asks.

“Yes.” she says. “For the time being.” she adds for good measure. She is not fooling anyone.

“I remember you saying you are not going to make it easy for him.” Ayub says amused.

“What can I say? He is charming.” Rosh says flatly.

“I knoooow, right?” Simon says as he gives him a kiss on the cheek. Wille hides his face on his chest and blushes so hard. They are so adorable, for fuck’s sake.

Simon takes a box from the coffee table and places it on their laps and starts eating. He was hungry but he had different priorities earlier. He finally takes a bite and offers a slice to his boyfriend. Wille takes it willingly, but Simon guesses he still avoids looking in Rosh and Ayub’s direction. “What would he look like if he kissed him in front of them?” Simon wonders. Considered he just turned into a mess, because of a cheek kiss. Simon knows it is just not the kiss, though.

“When you were in there, busy with... you know.”

“Yes, we know. We were there.” Simon says.

“Anyway, Lucas texted and wanted to hang out.”

“Who?” Simon asks again, to be a little shit.

“I hope you are joking. You are in love. We get it.” Ayub says.

Simon can’t think of a reply. “I told him we can’t because we are with you and he asked if he can come by.” Ayub finishes finally.

“Why would he want to come? I think I made myself clear.” Simon says.

“He wants to meet the prince. His words.” Ayub reveals.

“What!? No.” Simon doesn’t skip a beat.

“Why are you so dismissive?” Rosh asks.

“No reason.” he grumbles.

“Simon.”

“On Friday, he saw Wille before I sent him away. Just before he left, he said The prince is even more handsome in person.” he mimics annoyed.

“Are you jealous?” Ayub asks amused.

“No, I just don’t want him to ogle my boyfriend.” Simon says. He really wants to get this over with. “Also, I don’t know him well enough to invite him to my house.”

“You are so jealous. I can’t believe you.” Rosh grins.

“He never mentioned he saw Wille on Friday.” Ayub clarifies.

“He is still not coming.”

“I already said no. Calm down.” he chuckles.  

“Don’t you think I am handsome?” Wille whispers, only for Simon to hear.

“Shut up.”

“He was just stating a fact. There is no harm in that.”

“I said shut up.”

“I can’t believe we were both jealous over the same person.” Wille laughs.

“I was not jealous.” Simon says stubbornly.

“Yeah sure.” Wille says. “Rosh, can I ask how you are doing now? You were sending me daggers. I was scared to ask.” Wille asks with a smile. Rosh chuckles and says “I am good, Wille. How are you?” with a fake posh attitude. Simon is happy that the attention is not on him now.

“I am better now. Thanks.” Wille says.

“Don’t get too comfortable, though. You still should be scared.” she says half-serious.

“She is kidding. She is a softie inside.” Simon interferes.

“That’s because I care about you, you ungrateful brat.” Rosh says.

“But you were so mean to my boyfriend.” Simon pouts.

“He deserved it.” Rosh says. She doesn’t think so anymore. But she is not going to say that. She has a reputation to uphold.

“I really did. I mean I care about him, too so I completely understand.” Wille says so nonchalantly. Simon looks at Wille in shock. It still takes him by surprise. Rosh laughs at him.

“Have you played recently? You were really good when I came to your match.” Wille says.

“Are you trying to butter me up with the compliments? It wouldn’t work on me.” Rosh teases him.

“You already caved in, though. You can’t scare me now.” Wille says, with a 180-degree change of attitude. Confidence really looks good on him.

“I hate that you are right.” she laughs. “I have played a couple of times. It was good. We won the last three. You two should come to the next one.” she says sincerely.

“I would love that.” Wille says like he won the lottery.

“Oh my god! Can I embarrass Simon in front of his boyfriend now! He was crushing so hard on Wille on your match.” Ayub says excitedly. Wille is intrigued and Simon tries to not show he is not happy with this turn of events.

“We are already together, Ayub.” he tries.

“Aww, you had a crush on me?” Wille asks, repeating the same words from this morning again.

“You already knew that.” he says trying to sound unbothered but he is annoyed, he knows what is coming and how embarrassing this is gonna get.

“Rosh, you weren’t there. Wille asked him how he liked his hot dog. And he started stuttering, Wille had to finish his sentence. He was crushing on him so hard. That was so funny.” Ayub can’t stop laughing, telling the events.

“Please keep going.” Wille says enthusiastically. He had a vague idea about that how Simon was feeling about him that night but this is so priceless.

“And he couldn’t eat his hot dog because he was busy staring at him.” Ayub reveals something again. “Oh.” Wille thinks he noticed that but he thought Simon was nervous. He didn’t know he was looking at him all this time.

“Oh really?” He tries to look at Simon but he groans and covers his face with his hands.

“Rosh, can you be mean to both of them now?” Simon asks for help but it is not his lucky day.

“I don’t think I will.” she says mischievously. “He called me before the game and asked if he can bring someone. He sounded so nervous. It was so cute. I asked who it is. He said it was a friend from school, nothing else. I said yeah sure and he said I already invited him. I am glad you said yes. And then I see you two coming together and he was a mess.”

Simon groans even louder and this is it. Wille will never stop making fun of him now. “I hate all of you.” he says, looking anywhere but them. He takes notice of Wille and he looks... like he has tears in his eyes. He doesn’t look like he is going to tease him.

“Omg, I just realized something. This is getting better. When we showed you that gif, you didn’t say anything bad about him. You usually love to talk shit about spoiled rich kids. No offense, Wille. Did you have a crush on him like on his first day?” Ayub asks like he has found a gold mine.

“Okay, it is time for you to go. That’s enough.”

“What GIF?” Wille asks.

“Don’t even think about it.” Simon says.

“What GIF?” Wille repeats petulantly.

“Let me show you.” Rosh says, taking her phone in her hand.

“Don’t show him that. Oh my god. I want to die.” Simon grunts.

Wille looks at the GIF and Simon tries to gauge his reaction. He doesn’t look upset about it. “That was before we knew you so, sorry?” Ayub adds.

“Did you make fun of me?” Wille asks Simon with a fake pout.

“No, I didn’t.” Simon says. He hopes Wille doesn’t resent him for it. If he does, he is going to commit murder.

“No, he really didn’t and that should be the first hint, Ayub. I am disappointed in us.” Rosh says.

Wille pulls Simon near him and circles his arm around him. He is not angry at all. It is just a silly GIF.

“I am definitely not a thug, though.” he says with a chuckle. Simon relaxes under him as he makes fun of himself, too.

“Of course not, you are a cinnamon roll.” Rosh says. Simon grins and Wille furrows his eyebrows, confused.

“You don’t have to tell us but what was that fight about anyway?” Rosh asks.”

“They wanted to take pictures, I refused and they didn’t take no for an answer. They grabbed me and they were pulling my arm. I told them to fuck off and he punched me and tried to get back at him. That’s all. Just a usual bar fight, but I make the national news sooo...” he finishes.

“That’s awful.” Rosh says sympathetically.

“I am used to it actually.”

“How is it any better?” Ayub asks. Simon knew this story vaguely but it breaks his heart that Wille just wants to be a normal teenager but he doesn’t have that privilege. He is always going to be in the spotlight, whether he wants it or not. Every mundane this he does has the potential to be big news for some people.  

“I guess it is not. They forget that I am a person. It never got physical before so I acted recklessly that night.” Wille says openly. He can feel they are kind of his friends, too. He doesn’t feel bad about revealing too much. If Simon trusts them, he can too.

“Anyway, I couldn’t have met Simon otherwise.” he says. Simon feels like Wille is trying to divert the conversation because Wille already said too much. He must be feeling vulnerable. He is happy Wille trusts his friends.

“How were your first impressions of each other? Simon doesn’t tell anything.” Ayub tries to change the topic but also he is curious.

“He was like fuck the monarchy and all, while directly looking at me.” Wille looks down at his boyfriend who is curled up against him.

“Sounds like him.” Rosh says with a grin.

“And I was like yes please, tell me where and when.” Wille says with a mischievous smile. Simon’s eyes go wide and he turns to look at Wille so quickly, that he might have hurt his neck a little.

Rosh and Ayub burst into laughter and Wille joins them. Simon is still frozen in his place, then he snorts.

“You are so full of bullshit, oh my god! You looked like a lost puppy.” Simon exposes him.

“Umm, that’s... true. I was impressed though. ” Wille says.

“You liked me because I was mean to you?” Simon teases as he turns his whole body to Wille, who also mirrors the position immediately.

“You know exactly why I liked you.” Wille says and it is true. Simon knows.

“Did you know he tripped after talking to me for the first time?” Simon says amused. Wille just shrugs his shoulders.

“No, Simon you didn't tell us shit.” Ayub snickers. He knows why he didn’t tell them.

“I couldn’t then. I can embarrass you as well now. Anyway, when we were at the party, I was going outside and he came after me and said HE was going outside and asked me to join him.” Simon laughs heartily.

“I panicked.” Wille confesses.

“I meaaaan, I panicked too that’s why I was going outside.” Simon can’t help but reveal too.

“Wait, really?” Wille sounds genuinely surprised, too. Simon can’t.

“Yes, why are you still surprised?” Simon says confused.

“I feel so single.” Ayub says with a sigh.

“You are both so embarrassing and also your selfie was cute. I can say that now.” Rosh chuckles.

“That was Wille’s mom’s suggestion actually. She told us to post a selfie.”

“What?!” Rosh exclaims. “Wille’s mom, as in The Queen of Sweden?” she asks unnecessarily.

“I mean, yes.” Wille answers amused.

“Did we miss an episode?” Ayub asks. Wille just laughs it off.

“It is just Kristina for Simon, though.” he continues.

Both Ayub and Rosh gape at them and they look like fish out of the water, specifically Oski. Yeah, Wille can tell them apart now, if Simon is telling the truth at least.

“Don’t tell them that, Wille. Please.” Simon begs him but Wille looks at him like he is about to do exactly that.

“I will.” he says grinning.

“What is happening?” Rosh asks.

“Mom called Simon because she couldn’t reach out to me.” Wille speaks slowly, to build up the anticipation. “You know what, I only caught the last part. Would you like to tell it yourself? It is your story?” he asks turning to Simon with a glint in his eyes. Simon likes to see him like this. It was not an easy conversation, filled with doubts, emotions, and fear maybe. But now, seeing Wille so excited and amused makes his heart soar. It was so awkward for him but he will tell them if it gets such a reaction from him.

“Would it stop you from telling it yourself if I didn’t?” Simon asks anyways.

“No.” Wille smirks. He could make him do anything with that face if Simon is being honest with himself.

“Oh my God! Just tell us. I am glad we are not in the same school now. You are so exhausting.” Rosh says exasperated.

“My phone rang earlier today and it was an unknown number. I picked up the phone.” Simon begins.

“Great storytelling skills, Simme.” Ayub says. Wille bursts into laughter and Simon is annoyed.

“Why don’t you start with the invention of the telephone?” Rosh asks. They all keep laughing, Wille is nice enough to cover his mouth, at least. It is “Make Fun of Simon Day” apparently. Simon ignores them and just continues.

“You all are so insufferable, including you.” he says pointing to Wille. “Anyway, I asked who it was she said Kristina and I said..... Kristina who?” he finishes.

They all lose it at that. They can’t stop laughing, their loud boisterous laughter echo in the room. With belly holding and all. It is so beautiful.

“You did not. Oh my god. This is amazing.” Ayub says.

“Did you not know your boyfriend’s mother’s name, let alone the fact that she is the queen... of Sweden... where you live?” Rosh says entertained.

“Of course, I knew that. I wasn’t just expecting it.”

“That’s totally understandable, baby.” Wille assures, with a warm smile. Simon blushes at the pet name and the fact that Wille is confident enough to use it with his, no their friends.

“I am guessing she took it well, seeing your reaction.” Ayub says.

“She was cool about it, and about us, too.” Simon says.

“Everything is good now then?” Rosh asks.

“Yes, it appears so.” Wille asks.

“It IS so. She gave us her blessing or whatever. Hence, the selfie suggestion.” Simon says.

“Why didn’t you start with that? I would be less mean to you.” Rosh says with a chuckle.

“My mom accepting us is really not relevant though. I had already made my decision, whether she accepted it or not.” Wille says.

“Good answer.” Rosh says.

“It is the only answer.” Wille shrugs.

“Now, you are overdoing it.” she says.

“No, I don’t.” Wille says stubbornly.

“If you stop talking, I will show you photos you have never seen before... Of Simon with long hair.” she says.

“What? Show me right now.” Wille goes and sits between Rosh and Ayub. Rosh shows him the pictures and Wille tries too hard not to squeal. Simon looks so adorable and hot. He looks at Simon with so much love in his eyes. Simon looks at the three of them, he admits he wouldn’t mind their teasing, like at all. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

✨

Chapter Text

✨

January 10, Sunday - 19.35

They are still hanging out with Rosh and Ayub. Wille was so scared that Simon’s friends wouldn’t forgive him easily for the way he hurt Simon and broke his trust but it worked out in the end. Ayub was very sweet to him but Rosh was a tough one. He just wanted to wait and hoped for her to see for herself how this was really different.

He is sitting between Rosh and Ayub on the couch now, with Simon watching them with a cute smile and he can’t be happier. Rosh is showing him pictures of Simon with long hair, his curls are to die for. He thinks he manages to keep it cool but he is so pretty, that he hopes Simon grows his hair again. However, he would find him pretty no matter what. The fact that they all ganged up on his boyfriend is something he could never imagine how this day would turn out but this day was not an ordinary day for him at all, was it?

Now, when he thinks back, he remembers how he spent most of the Christmas break alone in his room at the palace, without Erik with him or Simon at the end of the phone. He had a thousand questions on his mind. His brain wouldn’t just stop. What would happen if they were together the whole time? What if he kissed him at his initiation party? What if he never held back when his heart wanted Simon from the very first day? What if they closed the damn curtains or August wasn’t a piece of shit who films people having sex? What if he admitted it was him in the video in the first place? What if Erik didn’t die and Wille introduced them on Parent’s Day? What if he came back and kissed Simon in front of everyone after he said he loved him? Maybe he wouldn’t have had to go through two weeks of heartbreak.

You can’t just live with what-ifs, though. You just have to live in the moment. He glances at his boyfriend and then at the pictures on Rosh’s phone. He is going back to school tomorrow with his boyfriend, out and proud. The latter was not really the issue; it was just the crown and the responsibilities he had to think about. He knew his mother never said anything homophobic but she was a very traditional woman. That worked out too, however unreal it seems. His mother is also with them now, although he can’t wrap his head around it even now.

“There is also a video on my phone of him flipping his hair and such.” says Ayub. “It is really cute.” he adds.

Wille perks up at that, and turns to Ayub, who is sitting next to him with pleading puppy eyes.

“It is not for free, though.” he says with a chuckle. Wille looks confused and glances at Simon, he doesn’t look any different.

“What the hell?” Simon says surprised.

“How was the first kiss?” he asks with a grin then, looking from one to another.

“Ayub!” Simon exclaims. Rosh laughs at them and says “Asking the real questions.” and high-fives Ayub behind Wille’s back.

“Is it your life mission to embarrass me today?” Simon groans.

“It was amazing.” Wille tells flatly. “Can I see the video now? Please.” he asks.

Rosh snickers and Ayub raises his eyebrows as a no. “That’s not good enough of an answer. I can send the video to you if your story is good enough.” he continues.

“I am so tired of this.” Simon says exasperated. “I should have pretended not to be home. This was a mistake.” he says as he watches them with a secret (not-so) smile.

“Shut up. You love us.” Rosh says.

“Okay.” Wille says. Simon looks at him, trying to convey that he doesn’t have to. Wille just shrugs.

“We were sitting next to each other and he held my hand at the movie night. I panicked and ran away and he came after me and kissed me.” he says shyly. He can’t tell them the whole truth—how his heart was beating so fast, how Simon’s kiss lingered there for the whole weekend, how he felt his lips tingle with so much desire after that. Until he saw him in the music room and watched Simon’s pained face when he told him they should forget about it. What if he didn’t say that? He brushes the thought away again. You can’t live in the past, he reminds himself.

“You made it sound so boring. You also have great storytelling skills, Wille. You are a perfect match.” Rosh teases.

“I... Shut up.” Wille says.

“Simon made the first move? Wow, I never thought you had it in you.” Ayub says and Simon flips him off.

“You held my hand first, though.” Simon tells him, raising his eyebrows.

“Details.” Wille says, trying to keep it cool. All of them laugh at that.

“We wanted to hang out with you on a Friday and you said you were going to Hillerska for a movie night. Is that the same day?” Ayub asks with a straight face.

“Umm, yes.” Simon answers, he doesn’t know where he is going with that.

“Oh my god. We saw you the next day. You were so giddy and smiley. That was why.” Ayub says as he keeps laughing.

Simon thought they couldn’t embarrass him anymore; apparently, he was wrong. He looks at Wille, who probably looks so happy to have found new information to tease him but he doesn’t look like what Simon imagined. He looks kinda sad and he is playing with his fingers anxiously. Simon is confused about why he would react like that and then it hits him. He probably remembers what he said in the music room, that they should forget about it, the first time they saw each other after the kiss. It really crushed Simon at the time but he can see it from Wille’s perspective now. It is all in the past. And didn’t he say he loved their first kiss just earlier today? He looks at him with a smile and Wille looks back, probably because he felt Simon’s eyes on him. He shakes his head, trying to say, don’t worry about it and it is all in the past. Wille smiles back.

“What are they doing?” Ayub asks, looking at one and the other. “Is this telepathy?” he asks Rosh.

“They are being gay. And in love.” she whispers with disgust.

“Okay, you deserve to watch the video now.” Ayub says and opens it in his gallery. Wille watches it with a huge smile and heart eyes. Simon gets up from the couch to clear the table, to keep himself busy, because Wille with his friends apparently is too much to handle. He doesn’t want to tear up in front of them. He hears their chatter, exchanging phone numbers and following each other on Insta. Wille sounds so excited. He comes to the kitchen with, like, two empty glasses, and an excuse to check on Simon.

“Hey, are you okay?” Wille asks. He does that so often that he asks him how he is. Simon finds it very endearing.

“Yes, I am great. Why wouldn’t I be?” he answers. He is really great. It is just that he is getting emotional because everything is going great. He can’t believe it.

“Ayub sent me that video. I didn’t ask if you were okay with it. I can delete it if you want.” Wille asks, biting his bottom lip anxiously.

Simon is so endeared with his thoughtfulness too and he is really about to cry. He hugs Wille and he immediately hugs him back.

“I am more than okay, don’t worry.” he says as he inhales Wille’s scent, which still smells like his own shampoo now because he had taken a shower some time before the live. He wasn’t even drunk when they woke up yesterday but it helped him collect himself a little. He is so happy he can have this right now. Wille kisses his forehead and then he pulls back first, which is not something he does often.

“Mamma liked our selfie.” he says to Simon.

“Oh.” Simon says. She was the one who suggested it in the first place. Why is he surprised? He still has time to process that. Maybe, this means she also publicly gave her blessing. He is happy, of course, but more for Wille. He is grateful Wille chose him despite her mother but he deserves everything, including a loving, caring, and supportive mother.

“There is a comment, too.” Wille adds.

“She wrote and I quote ‘I am proud of you, sweetheart. You both look amazing.’ and there is a rainbow flag emoji and a lot of hearts in rainbow colors.” he laughs.

“She really went all in, huh?” Simon laughs too.

“I guess she did.” Wille says, his voice cracks a little. He gets teary as Simon kisses his cheek and brushes the other one with his thumb. He knows Simon knows him all too well. He always knows what he needs.

Linda’s voice is heard from the entrance. She calls to them, “I am home.” Does she always announce her arrival? She sounds so sweet and kind. Wille can’t explain why this feels so homey. That’s probably what she always does. They leave the kitchen and Linda is in the hallway, taking off her coat. There are grocery bags on the floor. She kisses the top of Simon’s head and he looks at Wille and does exactly the same. “How was your day?” she asks. Wille feels so grateful to get the exact treatment of Simon. He can see his mother is trying now, but she was never a touchy, affectionate person.

“Good.” Wille says. “Great.” he corrects. He is so happy Simon has her as a mother. “How was yours?” he asks politely.

“It was a busy day but it is alright.” she answers. She turns to Simon, “I hope you didn’t just make coffee and call it breakfast this morning.” Linda warns Simon.

“I did not.” Simon says.

“He made me pancakes. They were delicious.” Wille says with fondness. Simon looks away.

“You don’t have any faith in me. I am offended, mama.” he fake-pouts.

“After what you said yesterday, I had to be sure.” Linda laughs.

“I am a good cook, please.” Simon says.

“You really are.” Wille says with a smile.

“Did Sara call you? She said Felice is going to drop her off here. She said they were leaving Felice’s place a couple of hours ago. She must be here any minute.” Linda says.

“No, I haven’t heard from her since she left.” Simon says sadly. “Anyway, Ayub and Rosh are here. They dropped by and we were hanging out.” Simon says, as they make their way to the living room. Linda is happy to see them. “Oh, look who is here. Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in ages. You should come to dinner more often.” she scolds them in a motherly way. She kisses and hugs them, then asks how they are. Wille watches them with a cute smile. Wille and Simon go take a seat on the couch. It would be rude to leave them alone in the living room there but they are not guests, they are part of the household so it is never a problem.

“Okay, I need to start making dinner now. You hang out.” Linda says after chatting with them and asking questions about their lives, the school, and their parents.

“You don’t have to. Wille bought pizzas for everyone. There is enough for you and Sara too.” Simon says.

"Oh, thank you, Wilhelm. That’s very kind of you. You didn’t have to.” she says.

“I wanted to. That was the least I could do. Thanks for having me here,” he says shyly.

“Of course, Wilhelm. Anytime.” she says. “Anyway, I am gonna get the groceries sorted then.” She leaves them in the living room and goes to the kitchen. They hear the front door open not so long after. Sara’s voice is heard from the living room.

“How was your weekend?” Linda asks.

“It was great.” Sara answers. She doesn’t give any details and she doesn’t sound chatty at all.

“Why didn’t you invite Felice in?” Linda asks again.

“I just didn’t. She wanted to go to the dorm and unpack anyway. I am tired. I am going to my room.” she says. Sara doesn’t come in and say hi. They look at each other awkwardly, sensing the tension.

“What’s wrong with her?” Rosh asks bluntly.

“I have no idea.” Simon says sadly.

“We should go. It is late.” Ayub says, nudging Rosh. They get up and they overhear Sara and Linda’s conversation from the hallway. They are not loud or yelling but the door is open so their voices can be heard from where they are standing. Simon is feeling tense.

“Why are you acting like that?” she asks calmly.

“How?” Sara says.

“You didn’t text your brother and you didn’t even say hi to Wilhelm or your friends.” she says.

“They are Simon’s friends and do I have to?” Sara says.

“That’s rude, Sara. This is huge for Simon. I don’t know why you are acting like that.”

“I am tired. I am just gonna take a shower and go to bed. I have school tomorrow.”

“Do you think I don’t understand you have something going on with you and your brother? Sort it out. You are the older one.” she says, without raising her voice.

“Not now. Please, I am just so tired.” Sara says.

“Okay. If you are hungry, just come to the kitchen. There is pizza.” she says sweetly and comes back. Ayub and Rosh have already put on their coats and scarves, ready to leave. They have an idle conversation, trying to divert Simon’s attention from the conversation coming from Sara’s room but they don’t succeed. Wille also pays attention because he doesn’t want Simon to get upset over it but he can’t do anything about it.

“Oh, were you leaving? I am sorry about this.” she says. She doesn’t specify but they know what she is talking about.

“It is really late.” Ayub says.

“Grandma needs to take her medicine. I should also go.” Rosh says.

“Okay then. Say hi to your parents from me.” Linda says.

“Sure.”

“See you later, Linda.”

Wille and Simon come back to the living room. He sends a quick text to Malin. Linda comes back with a pizza box and settles in on the couch.

“Are you sure you don’t want any?” she says as she takes a bite.

“I am so full, thank you, Linda.” Wille says.

Wille feels the tension between Sara and Simon. Simon has told him about it but Sara completely ignores Simon this time. Also, does she have a problem with him, too? He realizes that they have never spoken to each other, not directly. He just wants to give them privacy. Malin texts back that she is coming. Simon tries not to show it but he looks upset. He didn’t hear from his sister for the whole weekend and she doesn’t say hi to him. Linda goes to the kitchen to get a drink.

“I am also leaving. I texted Malin. I think I overstayed my welcome here.” he laughs, trying to be funny and ease the tension.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Simon warns him. “You can stay here tonight.”

“Oh really? Can I move in too?” he asks jokingly. He needs Simon to smile.

“I wouldn’t complain. We don’t have any spare bedrooms, though. Could you be able to share with me?” Simon asks playfully.

“I wouldn’t complain.” Wille answers with a small smile.

“We are so cringe. I hate us.” Simon feigns annoyance.

“It’s okay. We are in love.” Wille says innocently.

“Wille!” Simon exclaims. “Just shut up.” he laughs.

“Just stating some facts.” he says flatly. Simon covers his face with his hands out of embarrassment. He is in love, alright. “Am I wrong?” Wille challenges him. Does he really need an answer? Linda comes back and glances at them with a smile and she is glad Simon is so happy.

The doorbell rings and Wille says, “It is probably Malin.” Linda motions for him to sit and goes to open the door after leaving her drink in her hand on the coffee table. She invites Malin in.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude.” she says.

“Please, come on in. I insist. I think Wilhelm wouldn’t mind staying a little longer so we can have a little chat.” Linda asks.

“I am sure he doesn’t.” Malin says with a knowing smile.

“Please come in.” Linda says and Malin enters the house and Linda leads her to the living room. “Are you hungry? We have pizza, or would you like something to drink, maybe?” she asks politely.

“Thanks, Linda. I can have coffee if you have some. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Nonsense, please have a seat.” Linda leads her to the living room and Malin takes a seat. She goes back to the kitchen to make coffee. “Hi Malin.” say Wille and Simon in unison and they grin. Linda comes back with a cup of coffee and some homemade biscuits. She sits next to Malin.

“Thanks.” she says, taking a small sip.

“How is Sophia? She had been stressing over a presentation when we last talked. I couldn’t ask you yesterday. I was in a hurry.” Linda asks.

“She was wonderful as always. She has been stressing over it for nothing. That’s how she is.” Malin smiles. “How are you?” she asks.

“The usual.” she laughs.

Wille and Simon look at each other confused, watching the whole interaction with interest. Who is Sophia and since when are Linda and Malin besties? Yesterday? They saw each other yesterday?

“Yesterday?” Wille asks confused.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

,

“When we couldn’t find you in your room, Joakim and I looked for you. This was the first place we checked.” she says. Wille gets shy and Simon doesn’t look any different.

“Just when I was leaving for work, I luckily saw Malin and told her you were here.” Linda adds. That explains a lot of things.

“It was really early in the morning so we have decided to wait close to the house until you leave.” Malin continues.

“I am sorry, Malin. I didn’t think about that.” Wille apologizes.

“So you didn’t think that your bodyguards wouldn’t come looking for you after you disappeared for, like, how long? More than 12 hours have passed until you tell me you are at Simon’s and you are going to turn off your phone for some time?” she asks, trying to keep a straight face. When Wille thinks about it, it sounds really ridiculous. He is the Crown Prince. What would he expect? The bodyguards wouldn’t notice his absence or wouldn’t care and just chill?

“So you have been here since yesterday morning?” he asks.

“Yeah kinda.” Malin answers as she drinks her coffee.

“I am sorry for being such an inconvenience.” Wille apologizes. They are his bodyguards but it sure was difficult to wait in a car for almost 48 hours. He feels bad.

“You were not. That’s our job—to keep you company wherever you are. Besides, last night, Your Majesty called us and said she is going to send another security team for Joakim and me to work in shifts. We have had a lot of time to rest since. She wanted one of us to be around all the time since you don’t know the others yet. She was also very adamant for us to be not too close but close enough to intervene in case some reporters can try to approach you, ask for an interview, take pictures and such.” she says. Wille is still trying to process his mamma’s change of behavior. He doesn’t have doubts anymore after the talk and everything that happened after but this is from last night. He is trying really hard not to tear up.

“Mamma did that? Last night? She only called me this afternoon.” Wille says.

“Yes, only a couple of hours after she saw your Instagram live.” Malin reveals again.

“Oh.”  

“Yes, she didn’t want anyone to come harass you. She called you?” she asks. Wille nods. “She was waiting for you to reach out. At least that’s what she told me when I offered to take the phone to you. She called me to get her updated. To inform her if there are any reporters and, if so, who they work for,” she says as she keeps drinking her coffee. As if she didn’t shake Wille to his core with the recent information.

“Did you talk to your mother, Wilhelm?” Linda asks with a comforting smile.

“Yes, I did.”

“I am guessing it went well.” she says.

“It did.” Simon says. “I was there too. I also talked to her. She was nice. Right Wille?” Simon asks.

“Yes, I am starting to believe it more.”

“You should. This probably will sound so unprofessional but I am happy for you two. Sophia and I were rooting for you, to be honest.” Malin says with a small smile.

“Thanks but who is Sophia?” Wille can’t help but ask.

“My wife.” she answers flatly, sipping her coffee.

“You have a wife?” Simon exclaims and Wille is also surprised.

“Umm, yes.”

“But you don’t have a wedding band.” Wille says.

“Is that what you are focusing on?” Simon asks. Malin and Linda laugh.

“We don’t prefer it. Also, it is not exactly a secret. You know, cause I married her. You can hardly keep something like that to yourself.” she says. Linda laughs.

“Mama, you knew about this?” Simon asks.

“Yes, she sounds lovely. Malin also showed me their pictures too.” she says. “When you were playing video games.” she adds, trying to hide her smile behind her mug. Wille and Simon look horrified. Of course, she knows. They both know. They are idiots.

“Teenagers.” Linda says. “They think we were born yesterday.” she stage-whispers to Malin.

“At least he is your son. I work for one. It is terrible. Malin says. “I love it when they think they are the only ones in love.” she adds.

“How did you meet with your wife?” Simon asks interestedly.

“In high school, actually.” she smirks. Simon and Wille cough at the implication. They are not going there. Linda grins too.

“We were best friends, then she had to move away. We had feelings for each other but neither of us had the courage to tell the other at that time. We only found out when we reconnected sometime later. We started dating. Then we got married.

“That sounds so cute.” Simon says. “I am glad you found each other again.” he says as he glances at Wille.

“Yeah, me too.” she says. She sounds really fond.

“Isn’t that hard with your job? Being married, I mean?” Simon asks again.

“I have been working for the crown for four years. We were already together then. She knew that and it was never a problem. When I was assigned here, we relocated too. We live not so far from here, actually. She is an editor for a magazine. She is also working from home so it works out well.” she says.

“I realized I didn’t know anything about you. I never asked you anything. That was rude of me.” Wille says sadly.

“That’s okay, Prince Wilhelm. It was a hard time for you when we met.” Malin says.

“Can we drop the title, please? At least here?” he asks.

“Definitely not in public but sure.” she says.

“Thanks. And I would love to meet your wife.” he says sincerely.

“I am not going to bring work home.” she says. Simon and Linda burst into laughter.

“Thanks, Malin. I am flattered.” Wille says, feigning annoyance.

“Thanks, Malin.” Simon mocks.

“Sophia would love that, actually. We can definitely do that when it is my shift. Win-win.” she laughs.

“I love her.” Simon whispers. They leave Linda and Malin in the living room, and head to Simon’s room together. Wille changes out of sweatpants and the t-shirt that belongs to Simon and puts on his own clothes as he is getting ready to leave.

“So you are leaving now.” Simon asks, he lays his hands on Wille’s chest, covered by his own purple hoodie, but it is Wille’s now. That makes him smile a little. Everything makes him smile when it comes to Wille anyway.

“I have to. I don’t want to impose any further.” Wille says.

“You won’t.”

“Now you can’t get enough of me.” Wille smirks.

“Maybe.” Simon smirks back.

“You can come earlier tomorrow; we can spend some time before the classes.” Wille says.

“I need to come to school early anyway. There is a choir performance at the beginning of the new term. We need to rehearse once or twice.”

“Are you going to sing a solo too?”

“Yeah.”

“What is the song?”

“Not telling you.”

“Why?”

“I just want it to be a surprise.”

“But I am curious.” Wille pouts.

“You just have to wait.” Simon just laughs at him.

“Simooon.” Wille whines.

“Nope.” Simon says as he laughs harder at his boyfriend’s childishness.

“You are so mean.” he pouts and he leaves Simon’s room. He puts on his coat in the hallway and “I am ready to go, Malin.” he says. Malin and Linda come to the hallway. Wille hugs Linda and thanks her for welcoming him into her house. Linda says he can come here whenever he wants. Wille is so touched because he knows she just doesn’t say it. She actually means it. Malin exits the house after she also thanks her for the coffee. She goes and waits by the car. Linda goes back to the living room. She wants to give them some privacy as they say goodbye.

Simon and Wille hang by the door, holding each other’s hands in front of them. They look nowhere near saying goodbye, though.

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight.” Simon whispers.

“You can come with me and sleep in my room.” he says with a glint in his eyes. “You know, I have a spare bed.” Wille smirks.

"Oh, really, I haven’t really noticed.” Simon says.

“I will miss you tonight.”

“I will miss you too.” Simon says back as they keep staring at each other.

“I am ready to go, Malin.” she mocks Wille’s words back to them, feigning annoyance from where she is standing. Simon is cackling and Wille is so taken aback. “With all due respect, I will wait in the car. I am too old for this.” Malin says as her phone rings. She takes the call as she goes. “Hey, sweetheart. Yes, of course, I am always available for you.” she says, speaking into the phone. Simon and Wille burst into laughter.

“How did I miss that?” Wille asks, surprised.

“You were probably too busy staring at me.” Simon says.

“That could be... very true.” Wille says without even trying to deny it. Simon is so in love.

“I will see you tomorrow.” he says.

“Can’t wait. I am looking forward to hearing you sing again. I am sure you will nail the performance.” he says with adoration in his eyes.

“Aren’t you nervous about tomorrow?” Simon asks.

“No, why would I be?” Wille asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“I thought you might be. We are going back and everybody will know now.” he says.

“Good. They should know that you are taken.” Wille says mischievously. “And I don’t think they had any doubts before anyway. With how much I stare at you."

“You are an idiot.” he says with a huge smile. He said it again because Wille is looking at him with a shit-eating grin. “Don’t say it. I admit I like it. But don’t. Please.” he says. Wille doesn’t say anything, he just looks at his lips. Simon licks his lips expectantly. Wille leans in, kisses the corner of his mouth and leaves him dumbfounded.

“See you tomorrow.” he says as he walks backwards, keeping eye contact.

“This is not fair.” Simon pouts.

“Maybe you will have to come earlier tomorrow.”

“I won’t.” Simon keeps pouting.

“Your loss.” Wille laughs.

“You are so full of yourself.”

“Am I wrong, though?”

“Just go.”

“I love you.” Wille shouts.

“Me too.”

“Simon.” he warns.

“I love you too. You are impossible.” Simon laughs at him because Wille is grinning like a fool after hearing the words. He comes back and kisses him on the lips. Simon kisses him back instantly.

“Good night.” Wille says with the sweetest voice.

“Good night.” Simon says back. He sees Wille getting in the car, without breaking eye contact while doing so. He sees the car leave and gets inside the house and closes the door. He leans back against the door. He can’t just stop smiling. He must be looking so dumb.

“Simon, can I talk to you?” Sara asks him suddenly. How long has she been there? She would probably make fun of him if they didn’t have that weird tension. He looks at her and she looks a little nervous.

“Sara. Yeah sure. What’s up?” he asks casually.

“I need to tell you something. I am afraid that you will be mad,” she says, playing with her fingers and she can’t look at his face.

“I can’t ever be mad at you. What is it?” he says. Sara doesn’t look relieved. On the contrary, her face looks more pained.

“Don’t be sure before I tell you.” she says.

“Is this about why you have been so distant lately?” he can’t help but ask.

“Yeah kinda. Because I was feeling guilty.”

“Okay. I am listening.” Simon says with a smile. That’s his sister. He is sure they can work on it whatever it is. They go to Sara’s room and sit on her bed, facing each other.

“I know who took the video.” Sara says.

“What?” Simon exclaims. That’s the last thing he thought Sara would say.

“It was August.” she adds. Simon doesn’t know what to say. But why was Sara feeling guilty? “I saw him uploading it on Lucia. I didn’t know what he was doing exactly back then but it was him.” Sara says. And Simon stops breathing. Sara knew this the whole time and didn’t tell him?

*

Wille gets in the car after going back and kissing Simon again. Who was he kidding, thinking he could leave without a kiss? He is sitting with Malin in the backseat. He asked for her to sit with him. The partition is up so they have privacy because he wants to talk to her.

"Malin, can I ask you something?” he asks.

“Sure, what is it?” Malin says.

“Did you know about me or about us before the—” Wille asks.

“Oh, you thought I didn’t.” she says surprised. “I am a bodyguard and it is my job to observe.” she explains.

“So you knew?” Wille asks.

“Yeah, kinda. I mean it is not like you were very subtle.” she says with a small smile. “You fixed your hair before you knocked on the door when we were here the last time. It was sweet.” she says.

“Umm.” Wille sputters shyly.

“Also, the water is cold? Come on.” she laughs. Wille also chuckles. “I don’t think anybody noticed though if that’s your concern. I am just perceptive because of my job. I know it is hard to discover new things about yourself and everybody tells you they already know.” she adds kindly.

“That was not my concern but thank you Malin.” he says. “What did you think we were talking about by the lake.” he asks laughing a little.

“The time when you were on a hiking date and giving each other heart eyes?” she says and Wille bursts into laughter. It is not close to having Erik with him but he thinks he has found a big sister in Malin, who can also tease him to death about his crush. That’s not a crush anymore, though. Simon is his boyfriend now. “You thinking you are too smart and nobody would notice.” she says.

“What about Joakim?” Wille asks.

“He definitely thought you were best bros.” she laughs. Wille joins her after grimacing.

“You didn’t tell mamma?” he says, and it comes out as a question.

“First of all, that would be outing you even if it was your mother and I would never do that. And secondly, I am responsible for your safety and well-being. That doesn’t mean I am reporting everything you do to your mother.” she says. Wille wants to hug her but he doesn’t.

“Thank you.” he says.

“You are very welcome.” she smiles. She could have said, “It is only my job.” but she didn’t. Wille feels grateful to have her as her bodyguard/big sister. “Umm, about your mom, you still have some doubts, as far as I can tell. When the queen called me yesterday, she sounded very concerned about you and Simon. She sounded different than the last time. When she found out about you and him, I mean,” she says. That’s the most gentle way to say after your video of having sex got leaked. Wille could cry. “I just wanted you to know.” she continues.

“Thanks, Malin. I believe her but it feels so unreal. Everything is perfect right now. I didn’t think it would be this easy.” he says.

“It wasn’t easy. You went through a lot of things and now things are looking up for you. You deserve happiness after everything. I didn’t want to sour the mood earlier but Sophia had to move away because her father found her diary and he found out she was in love with me, so he tried to get her away from me. Fortunately, we were lucky enough to find each other again. I am glad you didn’t have to go through that.” she says.

“I am glad too, Malin. Thank you.”

“Just stop saying thanks. I know you have manners but that’s really unnecessary.” she laughs. Wille laughs too.

“So how did you reconnect with Sophia? Did she send a letter to your house?” he asks smirking.

“What, letters?” she says with a fake gasp. “How old do you think I am? We already had that thing back then. What do you kids call it? The Internet?” she says with a smile.

“My bad, sorry. Did she slide into your DMs then?” Wille laughs. Malin shakes her head in disbelief.

“You know what, I changed my mind. You should go back to being a well-mannered prince, Wilhelm.” she laughs. “I don’t know why I am even telling you this. She sent me a message on Facebook saying, she is back in Stockholm and would love to catch up.” she says.

“Catch up? Is that what you called it back then in the good old days? Also Facebook? You think you are not old?” Wille laughs.

“I am going to give my resignation.” she sighs.

“Please don’t. Don’t tell Joakim but you are my favorite.” Wille stage-whispers.

“It is not a secret, Wilhelm, I know.” she smirks.

“You are actually funny.”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“You are a bodyguard.” he says flatly.

“Yes, unfortunately, your bodyguard, too.” she says keeping a straight face, and then she smirks.

“Fuck off. You are so annoying.” Wille says and he covers his mouth with his hands with a shocked face, thinking he crossed a line. Malin doesn’t react, not saying anything.

“Okay, you are grounded.” she says at last and she starts laughing. Wille still feels embarrassed but he is happy Malin is cool with it. “I have two younger sisters and I have always wondered what it would be like to have a younger brother. Now I know.” she says as she clicks her tongue and grimaces. Wille laughs at her and feels grateful.

“So I am the younger brother you always wanted?” he grins.

“Pretty much, yeah. Don’t let it go into your head, though. It was not as fun as I thought it would be.” she says.

“Thank you, Malin. I know you told me not to but really.”

“Of course, Wilhelm. I need to go back to my mysterious, intimidating persona now. We are now entering the school campus.” she laughs.

“Okay.” Wille laughs too.

“If you need anything, just tell me, okay? I will be happy to help.” she says. Wille just nods. He has people who have his back. So many people even. He is just happy, so damn happy. He never thought he could have that. He sends a text to Simon saying that he is in his room. He unpacks his suitcases because he didn’t touch them when he arrived on Friday. He takes a shower and puts on a pair of sweatpants and his purple hoodie. He checks his phone and there is a text from Simon. He says, “Are you awake? Can we talk?” He presses the call button in an instant.

“Hey.” he says. “I was in the shower. I just saw your message.”

“Hey.” Simon says and he sounds upset.

“What happened, baby?”

“I talked to Sara after you left. I mean, she wanted to talk. Now, I know why she was acting weird.”

“Do you want to talk about it now?” Wille says.

“Not now, maybe tomorrow.”

“Okay, whatever you need.”

“Thank you. Can you distract me a little?”

“How can I help?”

“You can tell me things or I have a better idea. You can sing my song again, the one you sang at your initiation party. That was fun.” Simon laughs.

“No way.”

“You said anything.”

“Not that. I have a terrible voice. I can’t sing like you.”

“Obviously. But that makes it more fun.” Simon keeps laughing.

“Thank you, Simon. I am really glad my boyfriend thinks so highly of me.” he says sarcastically and Simon giggles. “If you tell me what you are going to sing tomorrow, I will do what you say.”

“Nice try but still not telling you.” Simon says. Wille groans into the phone and Simon laughs harder. He starts humming the song because he is weak for him.

“You still don’t know the lyrics.” he laughs.

“I was more interested in the person who sang the song. Sorry for not paying attention to the lyrics.”

“I hate you.” Simon says with fondness dripping from his voice.

“Oh really? I think you love me.” Wille says.

“You are mistaken, then.”

“I don’t think I am.”

“You are getting confident.”

“I was always confident.”

“Wille.” Simon laughs.

“Okay, maybe not always.” Wille says and Simon laughs harder. “So I asked Malin what she thought we were talking about, you know, by the lake.

“You did not, oh my god.” Simon exclaims. “What did she say?”

“She basically said we were stupid for thinking nobody would notice.”

“Sounds like us.” Simon laughs.

“You know what I realized?”

“What?”

“We finally spent a weekend together in Bjarstad.” Wille says with a small smile. He doesn’t want to get upset over why they couldn’t back then. Simon is still silent. “It was the best weekend of my life.” he adds.

“Mine too. It won’t be the last one, though.” Simon says finally.

“No, it won’t.” Wille repeats. “Should we hang up? I know you need your beauty sleep.” he laughs.

“Oh, fuck off.” Simon says. Wille laughs at him and Simon joins him too. “Thank you.” Simon says after some time.

“Anytime, baby.” he knows what he means. “Good night.” he says.

“Good night.” Simon replies and he hangs up. Wille doesn’t know exactly what happened between him and Sara but he is glad Simon let him know something happened and didn’t try to hide it from him. He reached out and called him for support. It is new for Simon and Wille is going to be there for him, just like Simon was for him. He needs to do something about it tomorrow to cheer him up. He has an idea and there are two possibilities. Either Simon is gonna love that or Simon is gonna call him cheesy first and pretend to be annoyed but still love that. It is a win-win.

✨

Chapter Text

✨

January 11, Monday

Wille is waiting for Simon at the bus stop. He must be here any minute. He couldn’t exactly ask him when he was leaving his house because Simon might know something was up so he put on his uniform and left his room. He was waiting for about ten minutes when the bus appeared. He tried to look for him as the bus came to a stop. He couldn’t help but notice that Sara and Simon weren’t sitting next to each other. Wille concludes that whatever the problem is must be something so big. It was the right decision to surprise him and takes his mind off of it, whatever it is.

Simon notices him as soon as he gets off the bus and a huge smile takes over his face, it is such a contrast to his face seconds earlier. Wille is proud that he can do that.

“Hey,” Wille kisses him as hello. Simon only falters for a second and kisses him back. There was no heat to it. Wille is aware that there are people and maybe they should play it safe just in case but he can’t help it. He notices Simon looks around to check but he shakes his head to tell him to “fuck it” and Simon understands what he is saying and leans in to kiss him again.

“Good morning,” Simon smiles as he looks at what Wille is holding in his hand. “What is that?” he smirks.

“A single red rose for my boyfriend,” Wille says simply and Simon blushes. He still can’t believe that they can have this, whatever obstacles the future may hold for them. Wille still can’t quite wrap his head around it. It was just a weekend ago that he didn’t know he could get to do this.

“You are so embarrassing.” Simon says, but his face tells a different story.

“You have seen nothing yet,” Wille warns him, which gets a chuckle from Simon. He just shakes his head in disbelief, in adoration, like he knows exactly what Wille is gonna be like. Wille doesn’t think Simon has any complaints, no matter how hard he tries to tell otherwise.

“Let’s go. I will walk you to the church,” Wille says and holds out his hand for Simon to take. Simon takes it and intertwines their fingers and Wille leads them to the church, swinging their hands every once in a while, like they have been doing this for their whole life.

“So, are you gonna tell me what song you are going to sing today?” Wille asks. 

“Nope,” Simon says, popping the p, with a glint in his eyes. “It is a surprise and what would be the point if I am gonna tell you just half an hour before the actual performance,”

“Fine,” he sighs, feigning annoyance but it feels so exhilarating, as well, to hear Simon sing. It would feel like the first time, but not actually. He can’t really explain it. 

They arrive at the church and they see Felice chatting with another choir member, whom Wille doesn’t know very well. She notices them coming and then when she has a quick glance at their hands, she gives them a small smile. She excuses herself from the other person and approaches them to say hi to them.

“Hey, Wille. It is so nice to see you.” she hugs him as hello and then she does the same with Simon.

“I would ask you how you are but I can already see it,” she says, looking at their joined hands and happy smiles. Simon blushes a little and Wille holds himself not to lean in and kiss him. They can do that in public but still, it will be too much. For now anyway. 

“Can you tell me what song he is gonna sing? He doesn’t tell me,” he says then. Maybe he can get something from Felice.

“Wille,” Simon exclaims, glaring at him but he doesn’t look angry, maybe a little annoyed. Wille can see from the corner of his eye that Simon gestures a no in Felice’s direction. She just laughs at their antics.

“No, the only thing I can say is that we rehearsed a lot of songs before the break and Simon suggested this song for the opening song and everyone liked the idea. And I think you will like this one too,” she says. Simon just sighs and Wille feels more excited than ever.

“Now you go and we will start rehearsing soon,” Simon says and tries to shoo him away.

“You are stalling us. I need to warm up my voice.”

“Okay, I am leaving now but I will be in the front row. I will miss you,” he says and Simon feels the blush creeping up on his cheeks. This boy will be the death of him.

“Go away,” Simon mumbles and leaves Wille there to go inside the church. He goes back to Forest Ridge to have some breakfast. Maybe he can get something for Simon too because he always skips it if it is too early in the morning.  

He arrives at the church about half an hour later. He greets the headmistress and the other teachers and they have a small talk but they don’t comment on the Insta live or coming out. Wille doesn’t know if he should be happy about it or not. It would be inappropriate, he thinks. it is probably for the best that nobody approaches him about that matter. He takes his seat at the front, just like he told Simon. Henry and Walter say hi to him and they sit just next to him. They ask him what he did on the holiday, as if Wille didn’t come out to the whole country, the whole world only two days ago. Then they talk about how they spent their holiday, how Henry’s parents took him on a skiing holiday as if it is the most interesting thing in the world. They live in fucking Sweden, for God’s sake. Every day is a skiing holiday.

His mind comes to a stop after the choir shows at the stage. The only thing he sees is Simon, of course. He stops mid-sentence after taking notice of him and He can’t actually register Henry and Walter laughing at him. They make eye contact instantly and Simon gives one of his sunshine smiles and he starts singing. Wille recognizes the song. That’s not something he usually listens to but he knows this song. His heart skips a beat as he realizes that Simon was thinking about him the whole time, just like he never stopped thinking about Simon. 

Your Song by Elton John 

The choir wraps up after a few more songs and Wille stays behind and he can see Simon stalling too. He must have noticed Wille hasn’t left either. There are only a few people left when Wille meets Simon in front of the stage.

“Hi,” they say shyly to each other. 

“You sang beautifully, baby,” Wille compliments him. “I already know what my personal favorite is, though,” he says, taking Simon’s hands in his.

“Did you like it? I know it is not—”

“Are you kidding me? I loved it. It was so beautiful and you have the most angelic song I have ever heard,” 

“Stop,” Simon giggles. “It is not like I wrote the song myself,” Simon shrugs. Wille holds his hands in front of them, softly caressing Simon’s fingers and looking him in the eye, still affected by the performance.

“You didn't have to. It still felt like it.” he says. “Maybe, if I am being good, you will write one in the future,” he teases. Simon’s eyes get bigger and he looks embarrassed but Wille can’t understand why.

“What?”

“Nothing. Let’s go,” he holds his hand and leads him to the school building. “What do you have right now?” he asks.

“Chemistry and then Literature,” Wille answers. “What about you?”

“I have History and then… Literature.” Simon says slowly, gauging Wille’s reaction. His dorky boyfriend starts to smile as soon as he hears that.

“Are we in the same class?” he asks excitedly.

“It seems so.” Simon smiles as they enter the building. “Why are you so happy about it? We have shared classes before.”

“Now, I can pass you a cute note during classes,” he says with a proud and content smile. 

“Idiot,” Simon smiles. “Now, get to your class. I will see you later, okay?”

“Can I get a goodbye kiss?” he asks, with a small pout.

“Wille,” he warns. “We are not gonna be one of those couples, are we?” he asks, embarrassed.

“Too late. We already are.” he says and he kisses him on the cheek and leaves to go to class.

Simon: I hate you 😡

Wille: Love you too babe 🥰️

Simon: Not fair

Now I have to say it back

Wille: You better say it back 😢

I am having war flashbacks.

Simon: I love you too, you idiot ❤️️

Wille: ❤️️

Wille finishes his chemistry class and it couldn’t go any slower today. He knows it is silly but he already missed Simon and he texted him that. Simon should already know that Wille is the clingiest person in the world but he can’t help it, two weeks they have been apart felt like two years, as dramatic as it sounds. So he has to make up for the lost time.

He sees Sara walk into the class first. They still haven’t talked about it, not even mentioned it. Simon might not be ready or simply didn’t want to overshadow their happiness but they will talk about it for sure. She takes a seat by herself. Wille isn’t sure but she looks like she is avoiding him too. They didn’t have the best interaction so far and she ignored Wille last night, like she did with everybody but he didn’t take it personally so far. His head snaps to the front door, almost sensing Simon’s presence. His eyes find Wille’s in an instant and he gives him a smile. And then his eyes snap to Sara’s and Simon falters a little. He looks uncomfortable and unsure. Then Wille remembers them being sitting apart at the bus and Simon looks like he is contemplating what he should do. Wille signals him to come to where he sits and Simon does, but he still looks a little bit upset after glancing at his sister and Sara looks guilty and keeps her eyes on her books in front of her. 

“Do you want to sit with me today?” Wille asks.

“What?” Simon asks, glancing at his sister briefly and then looking back at his boyfriend. There is an understanding between them that Simon gets it instantly. This is different from Wille’s usual clingy ass. Simon looks back with such adoration. “You can’t get enough of me or something?” he asks but Wille can feel the sadness eating him up, the distance between the Eriksson siblings, which was probably there for the first time in their whole lives.

“Like you already don’t know,” he laughs and Simon feels more at ease now. He takes the seat next to him and Wille holds his hand under the desk and squeezes it, not because they have to hide it but because this is a private moment and Simon needs it. 

“Thank you,” Simon says in a low voice and Wille just blinks and shakes his head to tell him that he is there.

“We can talk about it after school if you want,” he whispers.

“I would like that,” Simon whispers back.

Wille waits for Simon to finish his classes in his room. He tidies up a little bit. He still hasn't unpacked all of his suitcases, so he has something to keep himself busy while waiting for him. The door swings open as Wille puts some clothes in his wardrobe. He just stops what he is doing and hugs his boyfriend as a greeting. Simon’s arms find their way to his back and Wille just inhales his scent, as if he hasn’t seen him in ages. But this is for Simon. The way he relaxes in his arms proves that he really needed that.

“How was your day?” he asks softly.

“It was okay, but I already have so much homework. It is the first day. Why don’t they just chill?”

“And that’s coming from you, class genius.” Wille laughs and that gets a chuckle from Simon. Wille hugs him tighter and leans back to have a look at him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, the question is loaded with so much meaning and they both know it.

“I will be,” he answers. “I want to tell you now. What Sara told me yesterday.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he nods his head with such a trusting look that Wille’s heart soars at the sight. 

“Do you want a change of clothes first?” he asks after realizing that Simon is still in his uniform. It sure doesn’t look comfortable at all.

“You just want to see me naked, don’t you?” Simon teases.

“I wouldn’t suggest putting on clothes at all then, would I?” he retorts back.

“Idiot,” he laughs. “I would love that actually. It is good we don’t have to wear a uniform all the time.”

“Take whatever you want. Except for my purple hoodie,” Wille says. 

“Your purple hoodie?” Simon asks amused.

“Yes,” he shrugs, with a playful smile. 

“I can’t even borrow it now, huh?”

“Nope.”

Simon shakes his head and changes into Wille’s blue hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Wille is lying down on the bed, making grabby hands after Simon finishes changing. They both settle in on the bed, with Simon leaning against his chest, Wille wrapping his arms around his torso, not forgetting to caress Simon’s arms softly. Wille can’t see his face but that’s the whole point, maybe it will be easier to tell things.

“So,” he begins, to prompt him to talk. He looks like he needs it.

“Sara knew about August,” Simon blurts out then, not beating around the bush, taking Wille by surprise. “About the leak,” Simon continues, his voice trembling a little at the end. “She saw August on Lucia night. Probably while he was uploading the video.”

“What?” Wille can’t help but react then, only stopping brushing his fingers on Simon’s arm for a second, and then he continues the motion.

“Yeah. That was my reaction too.”

“But why didn’t she—” Wille stutters.

“Say anything before, right?” Simon finishes. He sounds so upset and that breaks Wille’s heart. If he wasn’t in Simon’s life, he can’t help but think none of that would happen. “She said she was trying to get him to confess or something. And what good would it do, I don't know. The thing is she is always honest. Too honest even. You remember the parents’ lunch with Felice? She said she didn't want me to get upset but her keeping this away from me made me upset anyway.” Wille hugs him tighter then he doesn’t know what he is supposed to do.

“He confronted August and he was not even sorry. At least that’s what Sara told me. He had told her that he did it because you had everything and some other bullshit like that.” he says and Wille feels the tears welling up in his eyes. Wille had everything? He had nothing other than Simon and August took it away. Almost took it away. Simon must sense him feeling broken all of a sudden and turns to look at him.

“Are you okay?” he asks then.

“I am fine, please, go on.”

“She said she made a deal with August, for her to keep quiet in exchange for August getting him a residence at Hillerska. But then over the break, he broke the deal because he thought she was the one who told you that it was August. He wasn’t answering Sara’s calls so she didn’t get to live here in the end. She said she only made that deal because it would be suspicious if she didn’t want anything from him. She tried to make it look like she was interested in him and didn’t care about the leak bla bla bla.” Simon finishes sadly.

“We were really bad over the break. I already told you. I was feeling guilty because I thought she was still resenting me for seeing Micke but it turned out she was the one feeling guilty all this time.”

“I know it must have hurt you but isn’t it good that she tried to expose him? I mean, it would be better if she told someone but—”

“I don’t know. I think I find it hard to trust her about it. Because she wanted to be one of them so bad. She wanted to live here. She wanted to belong somewhere, anywhere so bad that she might have done the deal for real. It is so hard for me to just believe her. I think that’s what hurts me the most. The fact that I can’t count on her anymore, not completely and blindly. There is this gnawing feeling that is eating me away since I found out. Is that silly? Am I overreacting?”

“No, you are not. and it is not silly,” Wille assures. “It is completely normal. I understand that you have your doubts. I don’t believe she meant to hurt you. I didn’t know then but she looked so guilty and terrible today. Now I can see why.”

“I am just afraid that we will never be the same again.”

“Sometimes we make mistakes even though it looks like the worst decision ever to be made. Everybody does and that’s how we grow, I think. This is what I want to believe anyway. You two need to talk about it eventually but just give it time for now. I am sure you two will be alright.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes,” he smiles. “I know so.”

“Thank you,” Simon whispers. “I am feeling a lot better.”

“Of course,” he rocks them both as he caresses Simon’s hand with his thumb. 

“I am sorry—”

“Don’t be.”

“You don’t even know why.”

“I know you are not allowed to apologize for whatever it is.”

“I know you expected a different first day at school with us being public so I wouldn’t—”

“I was right. You are not allowed to say sorry ever again if it is for something like this. The only thing I want is for you to feel good right now. And you are here with me so I am not complaining. Understood?”

“Yes,” Simon nods his head.

“What do you wanna do now?”

“I am kinda hungry,” Simon says, a little embarrassed to admit that. “I haven’t had anything since lunch and I am only realizing it now.”

“Of course you are,” Wille laughs. “How about you pick something for us to watch and I grab something to eat?” he asks as he gets up, leaving Simon on the bed with a look he can’t quite decipher. “or we can go and have dinner with the other guys if you want that? I thought you wouldn’t—”

“I like the first option better,” he says.

“Okay. My laptop is there and the password is “ilovesimon” all lowercase,” he says with a straight face and Simon just looks at him with a gaping mouth.

“No, it is not,” he says but he doesn’t sound so sure. “It is not, right?”

“No, it is not,” Wille laughs “only because it would be so easy to guess.” He leans down and kisses him. He hears Simon calling him an idiot just before he leaves the room. He can even hear the smile in his voice. Can smiles be heard? Everything feels so right. 

He comes back with a variety of food, some sandwiches, and a lot of snacks, that will be enough for now. 

“Did you choose something?” he says as he sits back against the headboard next to his boyfriend.

“What about this one? I heard it is good,” he says, pointing to the laptop in front of him.

“Sounds good. But you can never watch it without me.”

“Somehow I was expecting you to say that,” Simon laughs. “Okay, it can be our show.”

“Okay then, here are our snacks and you can press play,” he says and drops a chocolate bar on his lap.

“This is my favorite,” Simon says excitedly and unwraps the paper like a child.

“I know,” Wille says proudly, and Simon kisses him on his cheek, just smearing a little bit of chocolate on him. He can't be happier.

They watch a couple of episodes snuggled close together and Simon starts yawning beside him. He must have had trouble sleeping last night and today was a long day, both emotionally and academically. “You can take a nap if you want.”

“I don’t want to,” he mumbles as he nuzzles his face to his chest. Wille pauses the show and puts the laptop on his desk and decides to lie down next to him. He doesn’t feel sleepy, but the idea of sleeping side by side with Simon sounds so tempting.

“I will wake you up.”

“Okay then, only ten minutes. I don’t wanna spend the whole time sleeping.” 

“Ten minutes, got it.” Simon snuggles closer, almost burying himself into his chest. Wille leaves a kiss on his curls, so happy, so content that he could spend the rest of his life like this.

It is almost an hour since Simon fell asleep and then his alarm goes off, surprising Wille because he didn’t know Simon set an alarm. Simon wakes up to the sound even though Wille is quick to turn it off. He yawns and mumbles “What time is it?”

“18.45,” Wille smiles and Simon opens his eyes in understanding. “You didn’t wake me up in ten minutes,” he says simply.

“Why did you set an alarm? And when did you even do that? You didn’t trust me to wake you up,” he pouts as he looks down at him on his elbow.

“You did not wake me up,” Simon smiles, still lying around, with no intention to get up.

“That’s not the point.” 

“The last bus leaves in fifteen minutes. I was sure I would lose track of time so that’s why.”

“Oh, are you leaving?” he asks, disappointed.

“Yeah, but I need to get up first,” he sighs. Wille just nods, trying to hide his disappointment. Of course, Simon is gonna leave. It’s not gonna be like he is gonna live here forever.

“I need to change now,” Simon says as he gets up from the bed and holds his uniform.

“No need. You can keep them. What is the point if you are gonna take it off when you arrive home? You can just keep it here. We don’t wear it that often anyway.”

“Okay, then but just put them on a hanger, I don’t want them to get wrinkled.”

“Who do you think I am?” he rolls his eyes. He finds a hanger and puts them neatly as Simon puts on his shoes. He hangs it next to his uniform on the handle of the wardrobe across the bed, admiring it afterward. He can’t understand why but the sight makes him warm and giddy.

“Okay, I am done,” Simon says looking down at a now sad Wille. “I will see you tomorrow,”

“Mhm,” Wille mumbles.

“Wille,” Simon chuckles. Wille looks up then to find his boyfriend smiling at him with an amused look.

“Are you upset that I am going home?”

“No,” he lies.

“Wille,” he chuckles.

“Yes,” he sighs. “Do you really have to go? You are gonna come back tomorrow anyway. I mean it sounds like a waste of time.”

“Me going to my own house is a waste of time?” he can’t stop laughing. “I wonder what my mom will think about this?”

“Oh, come on, I didn’t mean it like that.” he sighs. “Don’t tell Linda what I said. I don’t want her to dislike me.”

“She can never dislike you, baby. I think she would think it is hilarious.” Simon says between fits of laughter.

“Stop making fun of me.”

“Stop stalling me or I will miss the bus.”

“What about—”

“Nope.”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

“I do.”

“Then tell me,” he says, challenging him, with raised eyebrows.

“You will suggest Malin drop me off later so I can stay for a few hours. Right?”

“No.” he denies but his face tells Simon everything he needs.

“I am leaving now and no, don’t even try, you are not dropping me off at the bus stop either. You were already embarrassing enough,” he says and Wille stops what he is doing and leaves his coat back on the bed with a pout.

“But—”

“No buts, I am gonna be late and you are not coming. End of discussion. Okay?”

“Fine,” Wille sighs, still upset.

“Good, love you, bye,” he says and kisses him one last time before he finally exits the room.

Wille: Love you too

You didn’t give me a chance to say it back.

Simon: You are so lame but I still love you 💜

Wille: 💜

Chapter Text

✨

It’s been more than a week since they became public and he can say that it is a little overwhelming with people staring at them in the courtyard or in the classroom and when they have lunch with the boys at Forest Ridge in the afternoons, it is the worst one of them. None of them come up and say anything to them, not really and it is just the stares and little whispers. Hopefully, it will die down when they get less nosy. 

It is good with Wille, though. Everything is good between them. They sit in the class together, they eat together, and they have a drink in the cafeteria together. They are basically attached at the hip. They usually spend time with their friends, too but since things between him and Sara are still a little tense—it is not that they never talk but there is this awkward tension between them that was never there before—and to avoid that, Simon just goes to Wille’s room to hang out with him and it doesn’t hurt that it is just the two of them.

On one of those days when they agreed to meet at Wille’s dorm after school, Simon finds Wille crying on the floor when he enters the room. His heart is about to leap out of his chest after seeing big, fat tears come out of his eyes. He only notices the broken glass on the floor and the red blood stain on his finger. He is holding the frog figure in his hand like a lifeline. Simon, of course, noticed the frog prince snow globe at Wille’s bedside table in one of his visits, which weren’t many. He wanted to ask him what this was about but never had time to do so because of everything that happened.

He crouches down next to his boyfriend, careful and attentive not to scare him further. “Wille,” he says softly but his voice comes out broken after seeing him like this. “Are you okay? What happened?” he asks softly, slowly taking Wille’s injured hand in his, inspecting how serious it is. Fortunately, it is not too bad; it is only a small cut on his finger. It probably happened when Wille started to gather the shattered glass in his hand. He helps Wille on the bed and goes to his backpack to find a plaster to apply to his finger. It doesn’t even need applying but he tries to busy himself when Wille lets his silent tears out. He sits next to him, hugging him from one side, just like he did after he found Wille high as a kite on the football field. It brings him bad memories, the anxiety spiking up in his chest as the only thing he can do right now is hold him. “Do you want to tell me what happened now?” he whispers softly, only for Wille to hear but there are only them in the room anyway.

He hears Wille take a deep breath and then he tells him. “I was studying and I hit my arm and it fell on the floor. Now it is broken.” Wille sobs as he tells him. Simon doesn't know why he is crying over a snow globe and doesn’t dare to ask as he waits patiently for Wille to tell him. 

“Erik got me that; it was a birthday present.” Wille cries. “I know it is stupid and I shouldn’t be feeling upset about it but I don’t know. Just like this gift, everything is fading away, breaking into pieces and pieces. I am scared that I will be left with nothing that reminds me of him.” Simon feels his eyes welling up and his vision blurring, with Wille revealing these raw feelings about his deceased brother. He just holds him tighter and he tries to make him feel a little bit better, at least.

“I can see that it was valuable to you but you don’t need it to remember your brother, Wille. You will have him in your heart and you will have your memories. Those won’t fade away.” he says as he hugs his side tighter and tighter and Wille cries harder on his shoulder, which knocks the air out of Simon’s lungs. He can’t stand seeing him like this. Wille still needs time, he hasn’t had a proper chance to mourn his brother. Everything was happening one after another and he couldn’t admit that his brother isn’t with him anymore. 

“That is me. It is supposed to be me, anyway," he sniffs. “He is the crown prince and I am the frog prince. He used to tell me that. It is a longer story, I will tell you later, though. I can’t do it now.”

“Okay,” Simon says. 

“He was the crown prince, but that’s me now.” Wille sniffs again. “He used to tell me I was never expected to have the burden of it. I was just the spare. So I was never a real prince," he says, rolling his eyes and laughing sadly at Erik’s choice of word. “So he bought me this snow globe when I was overwhelmed with everything with the monarchy to remind me that he will never allow that, to keep that in mind.”

“So this is you?” Simon asks, taking the frog figure in his hand and looking at it. “But this is ugly." He wrinkles his nose. “Are you sure this is you?” Wille gives him a sad chuckle and just nods.

“Look, the frog seems intact. The glass is broken. You wanna know the way I see it? I think it is not trapped in a glass cage anymore. It is free now. Just like you. I think Erik would like that. What do you think?”

“Simon,” Wille says, shaking his head in disbelief with eyes so big and shining. Simon can see the smile slowly forming on the corners of his mouth. “I love you so much. I can’t even—You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Funny, I could also say the same thing.”

“I really, really love you.”

“Yeah, same.” 

Wille rolls his eyes but he doesn’t say anything else. They get comfortable on the bed, with Simon guiding Wille on his chest, laying down on the bed and pulling the covers. He watches Wille sleep peacefully beside him, with his hand bunching up the fabric of Simon’s sweater, almost as if not to let him go away. Simon doesn’t know grief; he hasn’t learned that cruel part of life yet but he will do everything he can for the person he loves to make it a little bit bearable for him.

Simon gets up from the bed, trying very hard not to wake up Wille. He quietly peels himself away from him and picks up the shattered glass on the floor carefully, not having the heart or right to throw them away. He puts them on the window sill for Wille to decide what he will do with them later. He picks up the frog prince figure next and then looks at his boyfriend, who is sleeping peacefully on the bed. He places the figure on the edge of the desk, facing Wille’s bed so that Wille can see it the first thing when he wakes up. He slowly gets out of the room to find something to eat for them.

He finds Wille playing with the small figure in his hand when he comes back with a couple sandwiches and some drinks he could find from the vending machine in the hall. He takes a seat, kissing Wille on his forehead and handing him his sandwich and drink. “I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thank you,” Wille says, taking a small bite. He sounds so earnest and soft that Simon could cry. He hadn’t seen Wille since lunch and he was waiting for him until Simon’s classes finished. God knows when the snow globe broke and how long Wille was crying alone so it must have passed a lot of time since he last ate something. He is glad that he is eating and he is smiling now. 

“I wish you met Erik. He would really have loved you.” Wille breaks the silence then. He has finished eating, just a few bites, sure—but he probably doesn’t have an appetite right now so it is still okay. They lie on their sides on the bed, looking at each other, with Wille still holding the frog in his palm.

Simon hums softly, neither knowing what else to say nor believing himself not to sound broken when he answers. He doesn’t know if talking about an impossibility will help at all but he will simply choose to let Wille talk. Freely.

“He wouldn't have liked your anti-monarchy rants, though.” Wille chuckles softly.

“Oh really?” Simon chuckles back, matching his boyfriend’s grin, though he can see the pain on his face at the use of the past tense. 

“He tried to protect me from Mamma’s pressure but at the end, he liked being a prince. He had to, I guess. He probably had a lot of pressure too. But he liked the idea of being a king one day. He liked the responsibility and what came with it. He always gave me advice about how to be better and how to deal with the public and their opinions but he never thought about any other options. About us being just normal people.” 

“Would he also threaten me with being thrown into the dungeons, then? Wait, do you really have dungeons? I need to know. You never said you did not have them, and I should be prepared.”

“You are so ridiculous.” Wille giggles adorably and Simon’s heart sings at the sight. “And no, we do not have dungeons at the palace. Just for your information. But even if we did, you would have no reason to be scared.” 

“And why is that?”

“Because you make me happy so much. That would be enough for him. He already saw how much you made me happy before he... you know.”

“Did you tell him about me before?” Simon asks instead of getting too hung up about Wille not being able to say his brother died. Maybe he should seek professional help for his grief but he will talk to him about it later.

“Yes. Kinda. Before parents day, we facetimed. I told him I was going to stay in the dorm because I wanted to "study" and catch up.”

“And?”

“He saw right through me, of course. He said, ‘You met someone.’ He teased me about ‘my crush’. He was so annoying.” He chuckles and then he goes quiet for a second. “That was the last thing I told him—that he was annoying.” he pauses, “You were the last thing we talked about but he didn’t exactly know. I didn’t tell him who it was.”

“Oh, Wille,” Simon can’t help but hug him tighter, peppering his face with soft little kisses. Wille holds him tighter, sneaking his arms around him like he belongs there.

“He said someone? Not a girl?” Simon asks after some time, curious.

“Yes? He knew I liked boys so..." Wille shrugs.

“Did he? You knew you liked boys before?” Simon asks, surprised. They never got around to talking about these things before but he got the impression that it was a recent discovery after seeing how Wille reacted before.

“You weren't my gay awakening, sorry.” Wille laughs with a mischievous look. 

“Fuck off.” Simon hits his arm playfully and then rubs it up and down as if to soothe the pain, even though he knows it didn’t hurt at all. “I just didn't know you figured that out before we kissed.”

“Yeah, I knew. Not entirely. But I have had an inclination, and I got to talk to my brother about it.”

“You said you weren't like that," he mimics Wille, remembering the conversation they had just before the kiss or after that in the music room. “A couple of times, actually. So I thought you were still in denial," he says in a low voice. “Or something,” he adds as an afterthought.

“Oh. I didn't mean it like that. I knew I was drawn to you the minute I saw you. I knew what was going on. I am not that oblivious,” he smiles bashfully. Still. How does he do that? “I meant, like, I just didn’t know I was allowed. I wasn't allowed to do what I wanted… or to be with who I wanted. I didn't have free will. Everything I did was dictated to me by my parents. Only by my mom, to be honest, because my dad never speaks up… about anything and I wasn’t an exception.”

“Oh. I am really sorry.” Simon says, feeling pained, getting closer to his boyfriend and giving him a small, lingering kiss on his temple. Wille’s eyes get teary at the action, probably from getting all out all at once and feeling somehow relieved but still feeling the pain as if anew.

“Don't be. I am used to it.”

“How is that any better?”

“It isn't but it is okay. I am here now. And my mom is trying. My dad, too. He called me and we talked a little. And I really believe we might be okay and I haven’t even considered that for a long time.”

“I fully believe that too.” he whispers, “And for the record,” Simon begins with a small smile and Wille opens his eyes to meet his gaze. “I was drawn to you, too. The moment I saw you. I knew it.”

“Stooopp it,” Wille full on giggles, and Simon can’t be happier than that.

“Oh my god,” Wille exclaims excitedly and sits up straighter. Simon looks up at him, confused. “I just realized something. Erik told me something about your singing after the choir performance. On my first day, you know? After it finished, we were leaving the church, and I kept looking back over my shoulder to see you,” he chuckles. “And he turned to me and told me, ‘The lead soloist has a beautiful voice. Don’t you think?” with a smile. That was a smirk, maybe? He must have realized how I was looking at you or something. He noticed you. I am not sure but I think he knew then.”

It is a tender moment and Simon chooses to go on with, “He complimented my singing? Did you steal it from him when you said you could tell I was singing from the heart?

“No, that was me. I can compliment my crush without plagiarizing my brother. Thank you very much.” Wille rolls his eyes, almost annoyed but not really. “He must guess it was because of you when I wanted to spend the weekend here.” 

“How do you feel about that? With Erik knowing, I mean…”

“I feel okay, relieved maybe. I would love to see you together, ganging up on me and Erik telling embarrassing stories about me. I would definitely pretend to be annoyed with you two,” he chuckles softly and even though it has some sadness to it, it is the most beautiful sound. “But deep inside, I would really love two of my favorite people to get along,” Wille gets teary, “I would have to make do with him maybe knowing it’s you.” More tears fall down now, and Simon wraps him in a hug, soothing him with kisses. 

“Oh, he knew Wille, he knew.” 

The next day, as soon as he sees Sara getting off the bus, he hugs her so tightly that even Sara, who is not a touchy person, doesn’t let go.

“I missed you.” he sniffs on his sister’s shoulder.

“I missed you too.” Sara says, with tears in her eyes. “I am so sorry.”

“I know,” Simon sniffs again. “Let's never do that again because I hate not talking to you.”

✨

“Hey, Simon,” someone from August’s year calls out to him when they were studying side by side at the workies one day at the end of January. He is surprised the guy even knows his name. 

After August was gone, there were many speculations about why he left when there was so little time until graduation. He doesn’t know what August told his friends but he thinks Nils and Vincent suspect it was something to do with them since it was right after Wille’s coming-out. They never asked and Wille and Simon never had to answer. They saw August when he came back to collect his stuff and he dared to speak to them, apologize, and ask Wille to talk to the queen so he could come back. So it was only for his selfish reasons, not because he was actually feeling remorse. And Wille simply said, “Don’t.” not sparing another breath on him and they both left to go to Bjärstad to meet Ayub and Rosh. 

Simon wrinkles his face in disgust, knowing nothing will come out of this idiot’s mouth at any moment. Wille meets his eye with furrowed eyebrows, as if he is reading his mind. 

“How is the royal dick?” The idiot laughs and his asshole friends erupt into laughter with him and Simon decides that their two braincells combined are already too much for them to handle. Wille sits up straighter, already getting defensive as soon as the words leave the guy's mouth but his hand goes to find his boyfriend’s on the desk and he gives him a short look, saying he will handle this.

He squares his shoulders and meets the boy’s eye, who looks a bit sullen at Simon’s reaction, or lack thereof, after seeing his mouth turn just upwards. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirks, earning himself a couple of gasps and cheers from their friends who are sitting with them. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” The guy scowls at him and his friends start laughing at him, completely turning their backs on him in the blink of an eye, so it figures.

“Bro,” one of them laughs obnoxiously, shoving his friend on his arm hard.

“Why do you think about my boyfriend’s dick? It seems suspicious,” he says, clicking his tongue and keeping eye contact with the biggest malicious smile he can muster.

His friends laugh harder and the guy is too stunned to speak. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times and then he just gets up and leaves. His asshole friends just keep making fun of him behind his back. 

He finally turns to Wille, who is sitting there with an unreadable look and a strange silence.

“What?” he asks, shrugging. “That always makes the homophobic assholes back off,” he says matter-of-factly. 

“Yeah,” Wille croaks out, his voice a little bit funny. He clears his throat, squirming in his seat, looking a bit uncomfortable. “He,” he coughs, “well, he deserved it.” he manages to say, averting his eyes and looking anywhere except Simon awkwardly.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, concerned because Wille is acting weird. “You are not mad or anything, are you?”

“No, nope,” Wille says, popping the p, with a slight blush. “I liked what you said there.” Now that Simon is not concerned, he can see the ears of his boyfriend have turned red and he looks flushed. “To be honest, I liked it a lot," he smiles.

“What?” he asks, raising his eyebrows, confused.

“I am getting a boner,” he mumbles under his breath, covering his mouth with his hand in disguise of a cough.

“You are kidding?”

“No, I am fucking not," he hisses. “Feel free to feel me up if you wanna make sure,” he challenges with a mischievous glint.

“Fuck,” Simon curses under his breath, “Okay, get up. We are leaving.”

“Didn’t you hear me? I have a boner. I can’t just... leave.” he mutters.

“Just cover yourself up with a book or something." Simon gets his things and shoves them in his backpack haphazardly, then looks Wille in the eye to get him to move. Wille picks up his books and holds them in front of his crotch and Simon tries not to look too hard at him. He doesn’t know if anybody suspects the reason why they decided to leave all of a sudden but he doesn’t care. The only thing he cares about is getting Wille alone, preferably somewhere with closed doors.

They leave the building, turning to head to Wille’s room, with Wille not saying anything other than simply following him behind. They enter Forest Ridge and Simon pulls him by his arm to arrive at Wille’s room as soon as possible. Wille ever so slowly places his key in the lock and opens his door and Simon, not being able to wait any longer, shoves Wille through the door, closing and unlocking it with a loud, urgent click.

“Wh—” Wille looks at him confused but the words go muffled when Simon attaches his lips onto his and presses himself on Wille’s whole body against the door. Wille kisses back as urgently as he does, his hand going to his hair and pulling the roots gently. He can feel Wille’s hard-on against his own crotch now, which elicits a low moan from him. He opens up for Wille to slide his tongue and Simon licks a stripe down on his boyfriend’s lower lip as they keep kissing into oblivion. Wille walks them to the bed and Simon lies down, pulling Wille on top of him. He opens his leg and Wille slides his leg between his thighs, grinding their hips together as he kisses his way down to his jaw and then his neck.

Then the realization hits them both and they stop. That’s the exact position of their first time when they were recorded and shared for the whole world to see.

“Are you okay?” Wille asks them first, beating Simon to it.

“Yeah, I think so. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. We can stop if you want.”

“No, I don’t want to. Do you want to?”

“No, I never want to stop.” Wille blushes at his own words. “But if you are still uncomfortable or if you want to wait for a while—”

“What? Me? Still uncomfortable? I don’t know if you can see that but I am very keen right now.” Simon breathes heavily, already hard under Wille.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that why you stopped it the other day? Because you thought I was uncomfortable having sex with you again?”

“I don’t know," he stammers. “Maybe. You didn’t say anything either.”

“That’s because I thought the same thing.”

“So we both want to..."

“Yes,” Simon sighs.

“What do you want to do?”

“Just touch me, please.”

***

“So, you got all hot and bothered because I was being mean to an asshole?”

“A homophobic asshole, to be exact.” Wille frowns, their legs tangled up under the sheets, their naked chests pressed up against each other, sated and giddy.

Simon runs a finger down on Wille’s face, his fingertips buzzing on Wille’s skin. Wille catches his finger and leaves a small peck on his finger that sends a tingle all over his body. Their hands were all over their bodies earlier, and this tiny, gentle thing can send a jolt up in his entire being.

“So it turns you on when I am rude? Good to know.”

“Still better than video games,” Wille smirks and when he is about to protest, Wille pulls him for another kiss. “I like that you are not taking up anyone’s shit.” Wille whispers honestly, not opening his eyes. “But it wasn’t just that," he says, then slowly opens them, “I like it when you say my boyfriend. ” He hangs his head low, not meeting his eyes. “It turns out it is doing it for me.”

“Oh,” Simon blushes. He has called Wille his boyfriend several times but he didn’t know he had that effect on him. “Shut up!" he chuckles.

“So…” Wille smirks, “how was the royal dick?”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up. You are so annoying, oh my god.” Wille kisses him deeply and for such a long time that Simon almost forgets the question.

“Ten out of ten, would not recommend.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“Obviously. You are all mine.”

✨

“Hey, what are you thinking?” Simon asks when they were studying at the library one day. Wille stopped his work a while ago and Simon didn’t want to say anything at first but it’s been twenty minutes since Wille last said something and that’s not likely.

“About Alexander,” Wille answers, chewing his lip anxiously.

“Are you leaving me for him?” Simon teases to stop the worried crease on Wille’s forehead.

“Yeah,” Wille says, fighting off a grin. ”I can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out," he chuckles. Simon chuckles back, reaching out and taking Wille’s hand in his, softly caressing him with his thumb. And then he is quiet again.

“Talk to me, Wille,” he whispers, only for Wille to hear. 

“The thing is, I don’t know. I feel very guilty and I should be. There is nothing generous and noble about it. He was expelled because of me and I should do something about this. I should do the right thing.”

“What do you have in mind?” he asks, lacing their hands together and squeezing lightly.

“I am gonna go to the headmistress and tell the truth. Does that sound stupid?” 

“No, it doesn’t. You are just a good person.”

“I am definitely not a good person if I let Alexander, one of the very few kind and innocent people here, take the fall for my stupid actions.”

“You did one bad thing.”

“It was not one thing.”

“Do not interrupt me,” he says, raising an eyebrow playfully. “You did a bad thing. You are still a good person. I love you for it. And you were trying to protect me. You did what you thought was the only option.”

“You were mad at me for this before.”

“Yeah, I was. I forgive you. So tell me what you are planning to say to the headmistress.”

“I can say Alexander is innocent and he didn’t know about the drugs. August made him keep it.”

“And who had them?”

“August. We all lied to protect him.”

“And how did August find them in the first place?”

“Huh,” Wille stops short for a second. “I am not gonna—”

“Tell on me?”

“Obviously.”

“Then how are you going to tell the truth without telling the truth?”

“I don’t know. Are you saying I shouldn’t?”

“No, you moron. I am saying we can come clean with everything, me included.”

“But they might expel you?”

“And?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. “I stole my dad’s medications for August to sell them. You were right, it is basically drug dealing. So I need to face the consequences, too.”

“You didn’t deal drugs, though. August did.”

“And I supplied them. Tomato, tomahto.” he says, enunciating the words. “You were mad at me for this before," he smiles.

Wille rolls his eyes at the same words directed at him. “I really don’t want to do this if it might hurt you in the end.”

“We are either doing this together or you are not confessing anything at all. There is no midway option. It is up to you.”

Wille has no choice but to accept the first option, so they go to the headmistress's office, telling her the whole thing. How August gave him and other boys the pills at the society meeting after his brother died and after everything came out and Alexander was found with the drugs, August suggested blaming someone else but Wille convinced everyone to put the blame on Alexander because he was—

“Protecting Simon?” Anette asks, interrupting him. Makes sense. Probably Alexander told her when he was defending himself. Did he know or did he think they were just friends?

Then Simon tells her how August wanted him to supply drinks for the party and then came back for more for drugs and Simon was indebted to someone for the alcohol—leaving out that it was his father because he was embarrassed and it wasn’t relevant—but August never paid so he had to supply him the drugs he had stolen from his dad’s medication drawer.

Anette folds her hands on the table with an unreadable look and eyes them up and down. Simon has his hand clasped in Wille’s opposite the big wooden table. “There is one thing that doesn’t sit right with me.” She gets up from her chair and takes slow steps until she stops in front of them, towering over them. “Why now? Why are you telling me all this? Alexander is gone. August too. There is no one else to expose your lie. Why do you take the risk of being punished for your actions? And for framing another student as well?”

“Umm,” Wille stammers in confusion because he thought it was very obvious. “I mean, because Alexander is innocent.” He furrows his eyebrows and continues. “And I am not.”

“He is feeling guilty.” Simon supplies for his boyfriend because he doesn’t seem to do it himself. “We are just trying to do the right thing. And we are ready to face the consequences.”

“I see." Anette comes to a stop and sits down on the armchair next to them. “So you want to clear your conscience?"

“Yes and no,” Wille answers. “I want to feel not guilty about it but I am also trying to own up to my mistakes and right my wrongs. Am I making sense? I want to clear Alexander’s name and make him come back if he still wants to be back.” 

Simon meets his boyfriend’s eye and smiles at him. “The night when you caught Alexander with the drugs, that was when Simon spent the night with me,” he coughs uncomfortably. “And it was the morning after, when… when August recorded the video… of us. I didn’t know where the drugs came from back then and it was after... after he saw us having sex that he told me it was Simon’s. He knew the true nature of our relationship when he came to me, saying he wanted to put all the blame on Simon and I simply couldn’t accept that. August knew that and he insisted that we were going to frame Simon. He knew that,” he takes a breath. “He was having a hard time paying his tuition and I exposed his money problems so that the other guys wouldn’t have to listen to him since he will be going away shortly so that’s why he uploaded the video, I think. To get back at me. It is all my fault. If I didn’t—”

“Wille, we talked about this. Stop blaming yourself.” Simon murmurs beside him.

“Wait here. I need to make a phone call and we will finish this conversation when I come back.” Anette says, leaving the room.

Wille drops his head on Simon’s shoulder with a heavy sigh as soon as the headmistress leaves the room. Simon starts running his hand through his hair, trying to comfort him. Wille takes Simon’s other hand and starts playing with his fingers with the same purpose.

“Do you think that was stupid?” Wille asks some time later. It has been ten minutes since Anette left the room and she hasn’t come back yet.

“Would you feel alright if you didn’t confess?” Simon asks and Wille isn’t sure but he shakes his head. “Then that’s what matters.”

“But we can get expelled now. Both of us. Or worse. What if he just sends you away because my mom is the queen and—” Wille curses himself, “Fuck, what if she called the police? I didn’t think this through.” He starts panicking, thinking of the worst thing that could happen. Simon lifts his chin to make him look at him and Wille does. Then his boyfriend cups his cheeks, meets his eye and just holds his gaze and Wille begins to call down.

“Just take a deep breath for me,” Simon instructs him and Wille inhales and exhales with Simon’s guidance until he feels a lot calmer. 

“She is not calling the police. She didn’t before and she will keep it that way. She wouldn’t want to involve the police, trust me.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Wille breathes slowly, almost relieved, “that makes sense.” 

"And if we get expelled, we will figure it out, but I don’t think she will let that happen. She can see how genuine and sorry you are.”

“I am but it doesn’t work like that.”

“It will be fine. You are doing the right thing.” Simon comforts him. “So if we don’t go to the same school, would you be thinking about breaking up with me?”

“What?” Wille laughs dryly. “Of course not.”

“Good.” Simon smirks. “And in the worst case scenario, we transfer to Marieberg together and you can come live with me in Bjärstad.” Simon smiles at him and Wille is so in awe that he couldn’t be more in love.

“Oh, that's the worst? Wow, I hope we don’t get expelled then.” he says playfully, “That’s such a horrible, horrible thing to happen. That would be a nightmare to live with you.” Simon shoves his shoulder teasingly and Anette comes back then. They sit up straighter, waiting on the edge. She comes to sit by the armchair next to them.

“Okay, I talked to Alexander. He said he is not sure because he is doing fine in Switzerland but he will think about coming back.” 

Simon and Wille go slack, still waiting for her to continue, and after realizing she is not gonna say anything else, making a gesture to tell them they can leave, Wille speaks again.

“This is just it?” Wille asks. “We are not gonna get punished for it?”

“Look,” she says, folding her hands in her lap, “You probably won’t like what I am going to say but I am going to be very honest with you two. I am trying to handle this situation as discreetly as possible. What you did was wrong, both of you, even criminal. But I know you were grieving for your brother at that time.” 

“So I have the dead-brother excuse? That’s it?” Wille raises his voice a little, “And I can do anything and just blame people and just get away—” 

“Crown Prince,” Anette interrupts him and then winces at the choice of words. “Wilhelm, if I may,” she says, waiting until Wille nods, rolling his eyes. “And I knew Alexander wasn’t lying.” she says, and that makes Wille lift his head in surprise. “All of you gave the same testimony. Almost word for word, as if you had memorized it.” 

Oh.

“Instead of involving ten students in a drug related scandal, it was easier for one person to take the fall. or at least make it seem like that. It is not in his record—the drugs, I mean. It never was. Only Boris and I know about them anyway. I convinced Alexander to transfer for a change of scenery, because he was sick of August treating him badly. You know, I couldn’t just expel him for that because he is a royal. If it wasn’t for your mother this time asking for his extermination because of what he did, I couldn’t have done anything, either.”

“So the rules don’t apply to royals and I can do whatever I want. Is that the message you are trying to give me?”

“No, of course not, but life is a bit more complicated and it is unfair. And you learned that at a pretty young age.” she says, with a warm and motherly smile. “I don’t think you are that kind of person anyway. I know my students. I know you, too. Even though you thought there was no chance of me finding out the truth about this situation, you still came forward. You are both good kids. Simon, you are a great student. You are passionate and hardworking, and have a great voice that will get you somewhere. And I don’t want this to be a hunchback in your future now. And Wilhelm, I can really feel your remorse right now. So I am not going to punish you.”

"So, what are we going to do now?” Simon asks.

“Just go and live your life as you please.” she pauses, “You two already had it enough. Just go and be young and in love,” she finishes with a bigger smile. Wille blushes.

“We are not even getting a suspension or something?” Wille can’t help but ask.

“No, you won’t. It still will get a lot of attention and might raise suspicions and I really don’t want that.”

“But—”

“Alexander’s name is cleared and you are not touching drugs again. Right?” she asks and they both nod dumbly. “So leave before I change my mind and suspend you for two separate weeks because that would be a real punishment for you two.” she chuckles lightly.

“Okay, thank you.” Simon smiles a small smile and Wille stays silent but they both get up to leave, with Simon dragging Wille from his seat.

“Hey, Wilhelm?” Anette calls when they are at the door. “That was very brave. You were very brave.” she says and Wille thinks she was not talking about this confession alone.

They walk to Wille’s room in complete silence from her office and as soon as they are inside the room, Wille drops on his bed like a deadweight and Simon comes to sit beside him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and squeezing for comfort.

“I don’t feel like I did the right thing. I still feel horrible.”

“Why?”

“She knew everything in the first place and I still got away with it. I hate this. I hate being a prince. I hate having privileges I don’t even want in the first place. I can’t even think of one good thing about being a prince. I get recognized everywhere I go. I don’t have any privacy. People keep taking photos of me and touching me without consent because they think I am their friend just because they see me on TV. And someone innocent was—not accidentally, but on purpose—punished because August and I were too famous, too royal, too wealthy to get punished and I don’t want this life and I am freaking out.”

Is Wille saying what Simon thinks he is saying right now?

“Okay,” Simon sighs, “How about, instead of getting ahead of ourselves, why don’t we focus on the good things right now? We are not expelled or got a suspension so we are not going to be away from each other, yeah?” Wille nods his head with a small smile. “Because I know you would be pathetic if you didn’t see me for a week or something.” Wille scoffs and rolls his eyes and Simon grins because they both know he is right. 

“And Alexander’s record is clean and he might be coming back so you don’t have to feel bad about it anymore. And if you want, you can still call him to apologize and tell him it was nothing personal. August is gone and we won’t have to see his stupid face.” Kristina had offered to take legal action if they wanted but they both didn’t want to file a lawsuit and go to courts and hearings simply because they didn’t want to see him again and him losing Hillerska was a very big punishment for him anyway so they were pretty satisfied with it. Since the queen refused to pay any kind of tuition for his new school, he was very miserable in a public school. Simon felt bad for his classmates, though.

“And lastly, there is one good thing about you being a prince so you don’t have to share this room with anyone and we can have this double room to ourselves, which is pretty good because we much prefer to be alone for some activities.” He finishes with a smirk and that puts a big smile on Wille’s face and he slightly blushes.

“You are the best and I don’t know how you manage to say the right thing every single time.” Wille shakes his head in adoration.

“I know,” Simon grins, “it is called wisdom.”

✨

It was one of those mornings when they had a “sleepover” and couldn’t get up on time and in a rush to get to class on time, Simon put on one of Wille’s sweaters by accident and they left the room. Apparently, Wille put on Simon’s hoodie, too and they giggled about it on the way to the classroom.

After the class ends, they go to the cafeteria to meet their friends. Simon pays for their drinks and they get a seat opposite Felice and Sara at the picnic table in the courtyard. There are a few people around, sitting at a similar table behind them. Simon could feel the stares and hear the snickers directed at him. He chooses to ignore it.

Wille does not. He is aware of how uncomfortable Simon felt next to him, and it is not difficult to guess why.

“Is there a problem?” he turns his back and yells over to the guy who keeps looking in their direction and snickering.

“No, bro,” the blonde guy answers, though it sounds stilted as if he didn’t expect to be called out on it.

“I am not your bro,” Wille snaps back. “Then why the fuck you keep looking at us and then laughing with your asshole friends? Say that to my face if you are so tough.”

“We weren’t trying—” 

“No,” another one of them, with darker hair, interrupts the blonde one, probably offended that he is called an asshole. “we were just talking about your outfits, especially Simon’s.” he smirks, annoyingly so.

“And?”

“Simon is wearing your sweater.”

“And I am wearing his, so what? All this stupid fuss because I am sharing clothes with my boyfriend?”

“Isn’t yours like 300 euros, and his is what—15 max? That doesn’t sound like a fair deal.”He turns to his asshole friends and laughs.

“Wille,” Simon whispers, touching his arm, “let it go, it is not important.”

“It is to me.” he whispers back. “You know it is very normal to share clothes with your partner, right? But I guess you wouldn’t understand?”

“I have a girlfriend.” he says, pointing to a blonde girl over there.

“Oh,” he pauses, “then why were you shoving your tongue in another girl’s mouth the other day?” he grins, “Last Saturday, I think it was after midnight, you were going into your room with her.”

“You are a fucking piece of shit, Lars. You told me you were sick.” The girl slaps him and leaves and Lars runs after him.

“And you,” Wille addresses one of the assholes, “how did you buy your clothes, by the way? With your dad’s embezzlement money? I heard he was facing serious charges. I don’t think he will get away with bail,” he pauses, “this time,” he adds and the boy turns purple and there are loud gasps and whispers from all around.

“And lastly, you,” Wille pauses. “I don’t have anything to say, actually, but maybe some advice. Grow some spine, and have your own ideas. Don’t just follow them like you are their bitch and do what they say. I am just saying that for your own good. Bros help each other, right?” he gives them a sly smile.

“I think I got my message more clear this time.” He looks around at their audience. “If you talk shit about us and, more importantly, if you disrespect my boyfriend like that ever again, we will have a problem and I will make your life here a living hell. I promise.” And then he simply turns back to his table to take a sip from his drink, which Simon paid for because, despite Wille’s protests, he doesn’t let him pay for everything and these gossiping pieces of shit don’t even see that, not that they would need their approval. Felice and Sara look at him with a small smile, impressed and then he glances at Simon.

Wille looks back at Simon, who is stunned in his place. He hasn’t realized Simon has been watching him the whole time with widened eyes. He has an unreadable expression on his face and averts his gaze. Wille questions himself about if he said something wrong or maybe Simon felt like he talked over him. He doesn’t know and he starts to panic when Simon suddenly gets up from the table and starts walking, heading inside without a word. He meets the girls’ gaze for only a second, who both look as confused as him, and he follows after him.

“Where are you going?” Wille asks and Simon doesn’t answer. “You know we are not the ones who should leave, right? You did nothing wrong here.” he keeps saying as Simon starts walking the long corridors. “I am sorry if I overstepped— I know you could handle—”

His words die down on his throat when Simon presses his soft lips on him, interrupting his train of thought and the panic rising in his chest. Wille leads them to the music room and closes the door with a thud. He keeps kissing his boyfriend and Simon kisses back urgently. So clearly, he didn’t do anything wrong but it is better to confirm.

“I thought you were mad at me.” He breaks the kiss to speak but Simon attaches his lips back to him immediately. He moves them forward in the room until Simon has his back against the windows veiled by the curtain because the door handle was digging at his back.

“I am the opposite of being mad right now,” Simon says, kissing his mouth, his cheek, and his jaw.

“Huh?” he stammers because both he forgot what they were talking about earlier because Simon’s lips are all over his face right now and also because he still doesn’t understand what he did got him the reaction like that. Simon pulls back to meet his gaze with a small smirk and then he takes Wille’s hand, slowly guiding him downwards with all the intent and Wille gulps in understanding. He presses Wille’s palm against his crotch and Wille swallows thickly, feeling his hardness against his jeans. “Fuck,” he curses under his breath and it comes out so breathy. “Since—since when?” he mumbles.

“Since you opened your mouth back there.” he smiles but it is gone and it turns something dark as Wille squeezes him over his jeans.

“You liked that?”

"Mhm, hmm,” Simon mumbles as Wille unbuttons his jeans and opens his zipper so slowly and pushes it past down on his hips.

“Can I?” Wille asks as he hovers his hand above Simon’s boxers. At Simon’s breathy yes, he shoves his hand down and takes him in his hand. “What did you like about it?” he mumbles as he kisses Simon’s neck.

“I like that you stood up for me,” Simon pants, “and— and you didn’t take anyone’s shit.” He covers his mouth as Wille tries a new angle. “How did you know about all of their dirt in the first place?”

“I did research.” he answers, breathy. “”What else?”

“And especially what you said after more importantly , it was over for me.”

“Hmm,” he hums as he bruises a kiss on Simon’s neck. “And you got hard because of it? I should tell people to go fuck themselves more often, then.” he murmurs, not stopping with his hand at all. “Anything else you want to ask me, because my mouth will be occupied in a second.”

“OH GOD!” Simon whimpers, throwing his head back, and gripping the edge of window sill.

“That means I can proceed now?”

“Mhm hmm.” Simon nods. And Wille pulls down Simon’s boxers and he doesn’t know how he has managed to have the brain capacity to think about it with his head hazy and full of simonsimonsimon head, but he has a half a mind to take of his hoodie and t-shirt before he drops to his knees. When Simon tries to copy him and take off the orange sweater, Wille stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Keep the sweater on.” he orders, with a finality in his tone and Simon’s eyes turn darker. Once Simon reaches his orgasm, Wille takes his t-shirt off the floor and wipes both Simon and himself with it.

“I don’t know how I will be able to rehearse here after what we did today.” Simon chuckles beside him.

“That’s a you problem.” Wille snickers back.

✨

Chapter Text

✨

Wille is waiting for Simon outside with Felice and Madison. He is scrolling on his phone while the girls are chatting about anything and everything and he is pouting. He just wishes Simon was also done with his class and would be there already. He is so pathetic. They made plans to spend the night together, probably with movies, snacks and well, lots of kisses and more.

Simon exits the building in a rush and approaches them, his nose buried in his phone as he approaches. Wille takes a look at Simon’s phone unintentionally, wondering why he is so busy. His bus app open and he feels disappointed.

“I don’t want to miss this one, the next bus is an hour later,” Simon says, realizing where Wille’s attention was earlier. 

“I thought you were going to stay here tonight.” Felice interjects.

“Change of plans.” Simon murmurs absentmindedly, busy with sending a text to someone. “Mamma made pabellon tonight and there is no way I am going to eat that tasteless Forest Ridge food instead of my mamma’s cooking.” he explains and Wille’s mood turns completely sour at that. A heads-up would be nice. “There is ten minutes until the bus arrives.” Simon levels him with a look, directing his attention only to him. Maybe that is the heads-up. It would be really helpful if he told Wille before. His pout becomes more wide and noticeable and Simon squints his eyes at him.

“Okay, I will see you tomorrow, I guess.” he says. He swears it doesn’t come out as whiny and needy as he sounds. It doesn’t.

Simon’s smile gets wider and wider as he watches Wille. He shakes his head in amusement. Wille doesn’t understand how his misery can entertain his boyfriend so much. “You are coming with me, you idiot.” he reveals, and that makes Wille do a double take, his eyes going wide.

“I am?” he squeaks and the girls’ laughter becomes so audible at that.

“Yes, you moron,” Simon pulls him to his chest by his hand. “Why do you think Mamma made pabellon in the first place. I told her you liked it so much the last time and she made it for you.”

“For me?”

“Yes, come on. Let’s get going. I don’t want to wait for another hour.”

“But I don’t have clothes. We have to drop by—”

“You have clothes at my place. Come on.”

✨

Wille is reading his book on his bed while Simon is trying to finish his essay for history class on Wille’s desk. Simon is sure Wille can hear the occasional huffs and puffs but he doesn’t distract him by commenting on it any further.

Last week, Linda sat them down and told them they wouldn’t be allowed any sleepovers anymore if Simon’s grades kept dropping because they were spending every minute together instead of studying. And she told them she wasn’t born yesterday and she knew what they were doing, even though they insisted they were to busy to play “video games” inside. They didn’t know why they kept using that as an excuse when they knew it was never believable anyway. Even when they were not together, they missed a lot of sleep because they were to busy to text until it was very late, even though they saw each other pretty much every day.

And Wille went to Simon’s bedroom and came back with a lot of textbooks and notebooks and dropped them on the dining table to show Linda he took her seriously. They tried to study, for real this time, not the other times when they were holed up in Simon’s room with an excuse of their exams coming soon and making out on Simon’s bed with papers everywhere and pencils digging up their backs. But Wille didn’t forgo hooking their ankles under the table while they were studying and Linda was too endeared to care.

So now, he is battling with an paper that’s due tomorrow and Wille doesn’t pay any attention to him and this shouldn’t be allowed when he has a hot, cute boyfriend to make out with.

He sighs, so loudly, hoping that Wille will end his misery and pepper him with kisses instead of this boring assignment.

“I am not touching you until you get that done,” Wille says, determined, his nose buried in his book, not even sparing a glance at Simon.

Simon groans even louder and drops his head on the table with a thud. It wasn’t even that hard but Wille lifts his head and asks him if he is okay or if he hurt his head. The affection and worry in his eyes melt him a little. He opens his Google Docs back on Wille’s laptop and starts typing. His eye catches the new snow globe on the window sill he gifted Wille a couple of weeks ago for Valentine’s Day. It was a simple one, really, with a house and trees behind it, a normal one and right beside it, a frog figurine in a yoga pose, free of any limitations above his, not surrounded under a glass dome, kept secret and hidden away.

He keeps writing and writing, the sound of Wille turning pages right there, on his bed feels so comforting somehow. Simon can see and hear the way he underlines some sentences and takes notes in his notebook every once in a while because the book is assigned for their literature class. Sadly,  he is in another group and they are supposed to do a group presentation later and Wille offered to keep him company by doing his own homework while Simon is writing his paper. And he looks so focused—unlike Simon— and he looks so cute. There is this ease, tranquility and glee he feels in his chest from the way they can co-habitate in the same room without feeling the obligation to speak to each other. Even though Simon would love to speak or do something else involving their mouths.

He simply watches him, in order to take a breath from the studying. The way Wille moves his pencil and the scratching sound it makes on the paper, he feels calm wash over him and smiles. Wille, sensing that Simon is watching him, smirks faintly and half-hidden, it is probably hardly visible to an ordinary eye but never to Simon. He can be very stubborn when he puts his mind on something so he never meets his gaze.

Though, he kissed him on the head when he got up and came back with a cup of coffee for Simon earlier, even though he said he would not touch him. Simon thinks it was a compromise or an incentive. He takes another sip of the now lukewarm coffee and wrinkles his nose in disgust, and that gets a chuckle from Wille but he continues reading. Simon wonders if maybe it was because the book is more interesting than Simon. So with another herculean effort, he goes back to his assignment and continues writing. About an hour later, he finishes, sitting back against the chair and releasing a sigh of relief.

“I am done,” he announces with a suggestive look and Wille seems to pretend he doesn’t understand and just hums.

“Did you proofread it, too?” Wille asks, pressing his thumb on the page he is reading, not to lose where he left off, but still not closing it shut yet. He is a jerk, honestly.

“Yes,” Simon answers with a tired sigh.

“With citations and all that? You need to be careful about the format, too.”

“YES.”

“Did you e-mail it?”

“YES!!” he groans in frustration. “Since when did you become so anal about school work anyway?” He should have been more careful about his choice of words. Fuck!!

“Good to know where your head is at.” Wille snickers, not dropping his book. Still. 

“Are you done?” he asks, hoping Wille will get the double meaning—firstly, him teasing Simon the whole day, and secondly, reading his stupid, more-interesting-than-Simon book.

“Not really.” Wille turns the pages and checks. “I have twenty pages left.”

“Oh,” he says, disappointed. “When is this due anyway?” he asks nonchalantly, trying not to show how eager he is. He was already failing.

“Oh, this thing?” he says, with a small smile. “Next Friday, I think.” 

“You asshole,” Simon laughs. 

“I just don’t want Linda to take away our sleepover privileges, you ingrate,” Wille grumbles.

He gets up from the chair to crawl to Wille’s lap, who is sitting against the headboard facing the window, not the other way around because he was sending glances too. Simon throws a leg over his long legs and straddles his hips, taking the book from Wille’s hand and dropping it on the floor.

“Hey,” Wille protests.

“Shut up,” Simon whines and comes closer until he can feel his boyfriend’s breath on his skin and Wille’s protest about the stupid book dies down on his throat with a gulp and his breath hitches. He wraps his arms around Simon’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Hey,” he whispers against Simon’s lips and the touch is there, barely, but there.

“Can I get my reward now?” Simon whispers back.

“Oh, it is a reward now,” Wille chuckles and Simon can feel the vibrations on his skin. “Do you really want to develop a Pavlovian response like that? It might be inconvenient.”

“If you don’t kiss me—” He gets interrupted as Wille does what he has been asked. He kisses him, touching him in the perfect places and Simon doesn’t know why. Maybe it is all the waiting and the build-up, but he feels like he is gonna explode.

Only after they are stripped to their boxers, Simon remembers one small detail. “Fuck!” he exclaims, taking Wille off guard. “I forgot to buy condoms, fuck. We were out of them. I was going to drop by the store but mom dropped us off today and—”

“I restocked our condom supply, don’t worry.” Wille chuckles.

“Oh really?” Simon raises an eyebrow and says, “I thought I was the only one who was eager here.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I love to see you get worked up,” he chuckles, before picking up where he left, “Oh, I also bought the lube you liked.”

“Great!” he pants. “Now just use them before I die.”

“You are so needy today, oh my god.”

“Shut up and kiss me, you dick.”

Simon remembers the day when they first started having sex sex . Not that what they were doing before was anything less, less amazing or less mind-blowing; it was just that he wanted more and was ready for it, but he didn’t know how to bring it up. 

After they got back together at the end of Christmas break, they didn’t do anything for some time because they both thought the other wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable again. And when they started having sex, it was as if nothing happened, nothing changed and Wille was always so sweet, gentle and considerate.

When Linda tried to give them the talk one time, they were both embarrassed by that. And Linda kept talking about safe sex, consent, and communication as their faces turned redder and redder every second and Simon ran to his room, not being able to take it anymore. He knew Wille liked this conversation on some level because, even though his relationship with his parents is progressing, he couldn’t imagine that Wille would ever be able to talk to them about it. 

Simon thought they didn’t have any communication issues. Until he used Wille’s computer one day, because he forgot to log off his Google account, and Simon accidentally saw his search history.

“how do I ask my boyfriend to try anal sex?”

 

“does anal sex hurt?”

 

“what is the best position if you want to try anal sex for the first time?”

 

“water-based or oil-based lubricant? which one is better?”

 

“how do i know if i am a top, bottom or verse?”

He didn’t know what to do. Should he bring it up and tell him he saw that and he wanted the same thing or should he act as if he knows nothing until Wille feels comfortable enough to tell him? Or should he suggest doing it without having to explain that he saw the search history? Everything made sense and felt wrong at the same time.

Wille noticed he was acting weird two days later and Simon had to blurt out what happened and he was freaking out because he didn’t know what to do. And then Wille hugged him, to calm him down, with his flushed cheeks and reddened ears, but stopping Simon from having a stroke felt much more important and urgent, so he left his own embarrassment aside.

“Do you want it, too?” Wille had said.

“Yes, but I have never—”

“Okay, me neither. Then we will talk about it. That’s pretty much the only answer to all of my questions anyway.” he chuckles and Simon joins him.

“Okay.”

✨

Simon gets off the bus and heads to Forest Ridge in the morning to leave his weekender bag in Wille’s room until he is finished with the class. He quietly opens the door and sees Wille still sleeping, bundled up in the sheets. He leaves the bag by the door and goes to wake up his boyfriend, who is softly snoring and Simon takes out his phone and steals a photo before he calls out his name to wake him. Wille blinks a few times, in confusion, not knowing Simon was gonna drop by in the morning. Since he didn’t want to do a second trip to the house after school, he decided he would bring his bag with him at the last minute. Wille rubs his eyes open, still blinking and doused with sleep. He looks so cute and adorable when he wakes up, and Simon adores it every time.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” he murmurs softly.

“Morning,” Wille mumbles. “time is it?” he yawns, stretching his body and then he just nestles back in the sheets again. “Am I late?”

“No, I am early. It is 7.30. I came to drop my bag here, so we could save us the trip.”

"Mhm, hmm,” Wille mumbles, “Smart, you are so smart.” he coos. 

“Am I?”

“Yep,” he hums, “Give me a morning kiss now,” he murmurs, his eyes still closed, his mouth pursing, and his face still wrinkled with pillow marks. And Simon kisses his lips with a giggle.

“Come on, cuddle me.” he whines. God, he wants to see this forever. He takes off his shoes and gets in bed, and he finds a lap of Wille on his body, snuggled closer and clinging to him. 

“Only ten minutes.”

“Mhm hmm.” Wille curls his body further into him and Simon already knows it is gonna to take longer than that to peel him away from his body.

Simon is invited to Drottningholm Palace over Easter Break to officially meet Wille’s parents and have dinner with them. If he says he is nervous, that would be a huge understatement. He meets Wille in his room after the classes are finished and they take their bags and go out to get in the car and head to Stockholm together. 

The car brings him to the palace and Simon thinks it is bigger than Bjärstad. Now he can maybe take in the situation that he is dating a prince—the Crown Prince, to be exact—and it is very public. When they were at their school, at his home or when they were wandering around in his small town, eating pizzas in a small pizzeria or when they went to the football field for Rosh’s game again, it didn’t quite hit him that this was a big deal. 

Wille slept on his shoulder almost half an hour after they started their journey. They were listening to music on Simon’s earphones, each sharing a bud. When Wille was lulled to sleep by the soft music coming from Simon’s phone, Simon didn’t dare wake him up from his sleep just because he was nervous. He knew Wille didn’t get enough sleep—the morning doesn’t count because he is always like that in the morning—but still, obviously, he was nervous too. They don’t have anything to worry about, though. They have been dating for months now. Everything is fine.  

After the car is pulled to a stop at the gate, they wait a little for the huge, heavy iron door to slide open. The driver keeps going for a few minutes. Even the inside of the palace was very gigantic, since the ride from the gate to the main entrance was a bit long.

Someone opens their doors for them—Wille’s and, surprisingly, Simon’s too—He wasn’t expecting that. They are ushered inside, with presumably a butler carrying their weekender bags trailing behind.

Wille whispers something to the butler’s ear, Mr. Johannson. And they keep walking, turning a corridor here and there—it seems endless—until they finally stop in front of a wide wooden door. Wille opens it for him and Simon gets inside, excited that he will finally see Wille’s room. He is surprised that the room is so impersonal and untouched, even though he knew Wille wasn’t allowed to have nice things, so to speak, like decorating his room like any normal teenager and his furniture is probably so ancient.

“This is you,” Wille announces.

“Huh?” Simon blinks.

“Mamma had it prepared for you during your stay.”

“Oh,” Simon deflates, disappointed. Yes, it makes sense. The queen wouldn’t allow his 16-year-old son to sleep with his boyfriend in the same room.

“You can have a shower, get changed or rest until dinner if you want. I will be in my room while you settle in.”

Alone? This is not what he imagined it would be like to be here.

“So, you have my number if you need anything.” Wille says, with a straight face, before the corners of his mouth turn upwards, slowly at first and then it turns into a complete, full smile.

“You are a dick,” Simon groans.

“I can’t believe you bought that,” Wille snickers.

“Oh, really?” Simon darts back, “Excuse me if I don’t know the protocol of spending the holiday with my boyfriend, who is the Crown Prince at a fucking palace. This place is bigger than Bjärstad.”

“Say that again.” Wille comes up and wraps his arm around his neck.

“What?”

“You know what,” he whispers, tilting his head and pursing his lips.

“My boyfriend?”

“YES.”

“You like that?” he can’t help but bring his hands to rest on Wille’s waist.

“You know how much I really really like that.”

“And yet, here you are, making fun of your boyfriend.”

“Yeah, okay, I am sorry but I couldn’t help myself. You looked so nervous. I wanted to—”

“Make me more nervous?”

“Nooo,” Wille groans, “I didn’t think you would actually believe it. How can you think I will leave you alone here for a second?”

“Now I can never be alone? Wow,” Simon says, shaking his head, grinning.

“Nope.”

“Good.” Simon leans in to give him a peck and Wille smiles bigger. 

“Come on, let’s go. I will show you my room.”

“Was this room even prepared for me or was that also a lie?” he asks as they exit the room and head to another corridor, hand in hand.

“Mamma suggested it and I said no.” Wille chuckles. “I told her we would sneak into each other’s room anyway so no need to bother.”

“She didn’t need to know that, Wille.” Simon groans in frustration.

“I don’t think it will come as a surprise. She was just being polite.” he says, opening the door to his room and when they get inside, Simon takes notice of their suitcases at the foot of the bed. Does everyone know they are going to stay together here?

“This is my room.” 

“I can see.” Simon gives him a small smile. 

“So make yourself comfortable.” Wille says it nervously. Simon takes a look around and wanders around the huge space. Even Wille’s dorm room is bigger than Simon’s actual room. What did he expect? The furniture looks very much the same as the one he saw earlier in the other room. It is not that antiquated like the previous room but it still lacks personality. There is a giant chandelier above their heads, and it looks heavy. And there is a huge TV in the adjacent room with a big, comfy couch. Everything is so big that you can’t help but feel so small inside. The thought makes Simon so upset because Wille has probably spent his years here feeling small and lonely. 

“It is cozy,” he chuckles instead, teasing.

“No, it is not,” Wille argues. “I like your room more.” Simon rolls his eyes but he knows Wille is  being sincere, as he always is. Whenever Wille told him about his childhood and how he felt when they were laying around in Simon’s tiny room, Simon wanted to keep him there forever.

“So, what now?”

“I was serious earlier. We still have a few hours until dinner. You can take a nap or rest if you want. Whatever you want to do.” 

“Okay,” he says, nodding his head a few times.

“If you feel uncomfortable or upset, if anything is too much, just squeeze my hand, I will be sitting next to you and we will leave. I know mom is trying and being nice but she can still be a little overbearing sometimes.” 

“Okay, thank you.” Simon kisses him on the cheek, softly caressing the other with his thumb. “I don’t think it will be worse than the first meeting, though.” Wille just looks at him, unimpressed. “You know it goes for you too, right? If you don’t feel good, I will fake a stomachache or something, and you can take a breath for a while.”

“You are amazing, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do.” Simon smirks. “And so are you.”

***

Wille leads Simon to a relatively small kitchen—still bigger than their kitchen in Bjärstad—where a table of four is ready and full of delicious meals, with a small centerpiece, three different kinds of cutlery and fancy napkins with a ring around them sitting on the plates. To say that he is surprised would be a big understatement. He really thought they would have dinner in an enormous room, on a painfully long table, long enough for them not to hear a word they say to each other. Also, tiny, little portions that people call fine-dining so that rich people can think they are better than everyone else. Fine dining is bullshit and he is probably going off on a tangent here. 

Kristina and Ludvig come to greet him and they both shake his hand with a courtesy nod and with a small smile on their faces.

“It is so nice to finally meet you,” Ludvig says. 

“We wanted to greet you and welcome you into our home when you two first arrived but Wilhelm said you would need to get some rest. I hope you didn’t find it rude.” Kristina smiles. Of course, of course, Wille knew Simon would find it a lot so he gave him some time to adjust first. He wants to kiss him so bad right now and it is probably the worst time to do that.

“Wilhelm here was talking about you non-stop whenever we talked on the phone.” Ludvig adds while Simon is so busy looking at Wille’s lips. He coughs and hopes it goes unnoticed.

“Here we go; it hasn’t been even five minutes before you tried to embarrass me, Pappa.”

“I mean,” Simon smirks, “it wasn’t like anything I didn’t know.” Everybody except Wille chuckles, but Simon knows he is pleased too that his parents are teasing.

“Simon, I know this is not the first time we met but it is really nice to meet you too. And I would like to count this as the first one. I am glad you agreed to come and we both love to have you over for the holidays.”

“Thank you, really—umm—”

“Kristina is fine.” she chuckles.

“Ohh, okay, thank you, Kristina.”

“Shall we?” Ludvig asks, pointing to the table with his head. They take a seat at the small table, with Wille’s parents on one side and Wille and him on the other, like Wille promised. They have a small talk about anything a parent could really ask about—their classes, school, their extracurricular activities, Simon’s parents—which makes Wille sit up straighter out of anxiety since it is a sore subject but Simon answers politely and tells him about his mom and sister and says that he doesn’t see his father very often. Wille meets his gaze, asking him if he is okay and Simon blinks and nods as a yes. Wille relieves a sigh and takes a bite off of his food and Simon picks up eating too, trying to use the right fork—he actually did research before he came but he doesn’t feel it is that important now. But when Ludvig asks Wille why he keeps using the wrong cutlery for his main course and Wille answers, “They all do the job so why bother?” and shrugs, Simon couldn’t be more in love.

The conversation flows from there, with his parents telling him embarrassing stories about Wille, who covers his face and groans. He once threw up on some diplomat’s expensive shoes at a dinner and Simon keeps chuckling. He feels very normal right now, even though he is at a literal palace, even though he doesn’t know what normal is since he never met the parents— yes, the parents are the queen and her consort but that seems irrelevant right now—or had a boyfriend before. And then he realizes that he spoke—or thought too soon when Kristina starts talking about photoshoots and official statements.

“What are you talking about?” Wille interjects, sitting straighter and his voice is strained.

“I am saying that since Simon is already here, we can take official photos of you and share them on our official accounts. And there is this event on Sunday evening. Maybe you can join us there.” Kristina offers calmly, smiling while she takes a sip of her drink.

“We didn’t agree to that.” Wille snaps. “You can’t just dictate a photoshoot or an event at the last minute. Simon isn’t used to all this crap and you can’t force him to do anything.” he says snarkily and Simon holds his hand under the table to calm him down.

“I am not dictating, or forcing anyone to do something they don’t want to do. It was just a suggestion. It can be good—”

“No, you are just trying to manipulate me again.”

“Wilhelm, you are twisting my words.”

“Here we go again, the same bullshit as always. You are the same as before. You haven’t changed at all.” Wille sneers. 

“That’s not what—” Kristina gives in, stopping mid-sentence.

“Can you excuse us for a second?” Simon interferes, then meets Wille’s gaze and then they both get up from the table, with Wille leading and Simon mumbling, “We will be back in a minute.” with an empathetic smile. 

“I am sorry for dragging you all into this.” Wille apologizes as soon as they are out of the kitchen. He holds his hand and tries to pull him away from the kitchen, probably to get to his room but Simon stops him and he pulls him down until they sit on the floor, leaning back against the wall side by side.

“Hey, it is okay. I want to be here,” Simon says softly. “I think we should go back and listen to what she is saying.”

“Simon, what are you talking about? What’s there to listen to? You are here for the first time and she already has a bunch of assignments for you to do.” he says, turning to his side to face him.

“It didn’t feel like assignments to me.”

“Exactly, because that is what she does. Manipulation and she is really good at it. She manipulated me into denying it was me in the video in the first place.” he scoffs.

“I know you are still sorry for that. I do. I know you wish to go back and change things but you can’t. Just let it go. We are okay now.”

“I am really sorry.” Wille repeats. “We are happy, yes, and that’s why I am so mad at her,” he sighs, “because she made me believe that we wouldn’t. And we could have been together for months when we got back together in January and it is all her fault.”

“I know you are still angry and being back here again probably brought back some bad memories—”

“That room where I took you before we came to the kitchen earlier,” he chews his lip anxiously, “was where I gave the interview.”

Oh.

“Is that why you kissed me there?”

“Yes,” Wille chuckles sadly. “We should definitely have sex on the couch there.” he grins.

“Idiot,” Simon chuckles. The silence stretches and then Simon speaks. “I think you were too occupied with thinking about the past, you missed what your mom was trying to say back there.”

“She was—”

“Giving us her blessing. Officially.” Simon whispers softly, “She is trying to show support the only way she knows. Not sure about going to an event just yet but I think she was trying to welcome me to your family by showing me around. And I didn’t feel I was obligated to go.”

“That’s—I don’t know—I didn’t think—” Wille stammers and stops short.

“Why don’t we go back and listen to what she is saying?”

Wille pauses for a second. “Yeah, okay.” Simon gets up first and helps Wille up too. They go in the kitchen again, only to find Wille’s parents talking quietly and stopping when they notice them. They take their seats, and Wille says sorry for earlier and takes a bite off of his food, which has already gone too cold and grimaces.

“Why don’t we skip to dessert?” Ludvig offers as an olive branch, not really interested in stretching the tension more. “Could you help me with the plates, Wilhelm,” he says and Wille gets up to join his dad. 

“Thank you,” Kristina whispers wholeheartedly, her gratitude shown in her eyes. “You are so good for him. I am sorry for not seeing it before.” Simon doesn’t say anything and nods curtly with a slight blush.

Wille and Ludvig come back with four servings and Wille drops their plates gently in front of them and the dessert takes Simon aback a little.

“Is this—”

“Tres leches?” Kristina asks with a funny pronunciation and she laughs. “I am probably not saying it right, but yes. I had the staff make it for you. I hope you like it.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? You don’t like it? I should have asked Wilhelm. I thought it would be a nice gesture.”

“No,” Simon objects, endeared. “It is a nice gesture. Thank you. I really love it but I don’t think it will be as good as Mamma’s recipe.” he teases. Kristina serving a dessert that belongs to Venezuela, his roots, was definitely a surprise. Is this her way of showing she recognizes Simon’s biracial identity and respects it? Because if it is, it is a very tactful and subtle way to do it.

“Maybe we should invite your mother too next time. And I can get the secret recipe. I asked the staff to rehearse the cake before we served it today since they had never done it before and it was already amazing. And if your mom’s is better than this, I can’t imagine the taste.”

“I can invite her but you can forget about the recipe,” he chuckles. “She said over my dead body when somebody asked and it was her own sister.”

They all burst into laughter at that, the tension from earlier is gone with Wille laughing too. They take a bite off of their desserts and Simon actually likes it.

“This is really good.”

“Linda’s is so much better.” Wille huffs. “No need to be polite.”

“Maybe you have a thing or two to learn from your boyfriend, huh?” Kristina laughs and Wille only rolls his eyes at her. 

“So…” he begins, glancing at Simon once, “tell us about this photoshoot.”

Kristina drops her fork and knife on her plate gently and dabs the corner of his mouth with her napkin and leaving it on her left, getting serious all of a sudden. She clears her throat and says, “Thank you for giving me another chance to explain myself.” she begins and Wille feels a little bad for not seeing it earlier.

“Obviously, you don’t have to do anything or agree to it but I think it might be good for your public image. Farima has been collecting some data and reviewing people’s reactions upon your coming out and announcing your relationship and it is mostly positive but there is a small part of it who is questioning my stance on this relationship since you came out on Instagram, not on official channels and they think I don’t support you.”

“You didn’t. That’s exactly why I came out on Instagram.” Wille can’t help but add and Simon kicks his shin. “Ow,” he yelps, turning to look back at Simon, who gives him a warning look. “What?” he shrugs. “So you need a publicity stunt? To clear your name? Is that it?” he says, turning back at his mom.

“No,” Kristina lets out a long, exasperated sigh, “I want to show you I fully support you. For real. And I do. Even though I had to endure your snarky, smartass, cynical attitude this whole evening, I really do. There is no hidden agenda here, Wilhelm. I just want to show the world I am proud of my queer son and I give my unconditional blessing to his relationship with his boyfriend . And you may finally understand how serious I am this time,” she says, earnestly. She sounds so genuine, with a vulnerability laced in her voice, tired but more chagrined and crestfallen due to being questioned for any ulterior motives all the time. Simon knows that Wille and his mother were trying to mend their relationship and build trust again after the coming-out and it was still a work in progress but it was going well since she was really supportive and exertive.

“Oh,” Wille mumbles.

“I don't know why the public is still questioning my support, even though I keep liking your photos and commenting on them on Instagram all the time.”

“It might be because it looks like your account is managed by an overenthusiastic teenage girl who is interning for public relations.” Simon says, absentmindedly. He realizes what he has just said when all eyes turn to him, shocked but Wille looks very amused. “I am sor—”

Kristina looks pensive but not furious or anything. “Wait, really?”

“I mean, that’s what one of my friends said anyway. She didn’t believe it was really you. There were lots of rainbow emojis.”

“I was just trying to show I am an ally .” she says unironically and Simon almost spits out his water at Kristina’s choice of words. Wille keeps looking at her mouth, hanging open. “I guess I need to learn how to use social media better,” she mumbles.

“So what did you have in mind for the photoshoot?” Wille asks.

“Don’t worry. I am not going to make you pose on the throne with a crown on your head or anything,” she says, unimpressed and Wille laughs at that, and it sounds sincere and unreserved.

“It can be in the Royal Gardens. The photos will look very good with the freshly blossomed flowers and with your blossoming relationship being presented to the public. And genuine, candid, spontaneous shots, maybe. And a couple of pictures of all of us together, with a welcoming message to Simon. I was thinking about the official Royal House Instagram and Twitter accounts, for where we are going to share the photos. The official website seems too serious. We are not announcing a royal wedding here since you are both sixteen. Not that I would be opposed to you getting married in the future. It is just that you are too young. I mean, not that you don’t understand anything because of it—” She takes a deep breath and so does Simon, since his face went deep red and Wille doesn’t look so different either. “I think I am going off topic here. So what do you say? You can say no, obviously.”

Wille looks at Simon expectantly, waiting for a reaction. Simon nods with a small, shy smile.

“Okay,” Wille smiles too. “I didn’t know you were such a romantic, mamma,” he chuckles. “Our blossoming relationship? Really?”

“Oh, she was a poet. She used to write me love poems when we were younger.” Ludvig adds nonchalantly. If Wille’s face is anything to go by, he is as surprised as Simon.

“Don’t give them any ideas.” Kristina daunts. “I have a reputation to uphold.” she meets their gaze and smiles.

“What about the event you mentioned earlier?” Simon asks curiously. “Was it gonna be crowded and televised?”

“Yes, to both.” Kristina answers.

“Hmm,” Simon ponders. “Can I rule this one out?”

“Of course, dear.” she smiles. “It is your call.”

“Thanks.” he smiles back. “What was the event?” he asks anyway.

“A fundraiser for LGBTQ+ shelters. There is a hotline for closeted kids to call and ask for a place to stay because their parents aren’t supportive. Organized by the RFSL. They are aiming to open more shelters in different parts of the country. They thought my appearance would attract people and encourage them to make a lot of donations, and I was happy to help. I thought maybe you wanted to join as well, but it is gonna be big and if you think it is overwhelming, you can totally skip this one. And there will be more of these events in the future if you change your mind.”

“Wow, this sounds so amazing. Thank you for doing this.” Not that these kids have shitty parents who kick them out for being queer but taking money from rich people and giving it to queer kids in need? He is impressed.

“I just accepted their invitation and I will make an appearance. It is not a big deal.” she shrugs.

“Still, it is very important you are going to be there,” Wille says, with a choked up sound. “Maybe we will be there next time,” he says, meeting Simon’s gaze first and then his mother’s, who both smile back at Wille.

Wille and Simon excuse themselves after saying goodbye to Wille’s parents, and agreeing to meet for breakfast tomorrow and then getting ready for the photoshoot. Kristina has tried to ease his mind by saying he doesn’t need to worry too much because this will be like the photos they take and post on Instagram at Hillerska but with more professional cameras and some other props. Simon was wary about clothes since he didn’t bring any fancy shirts—not that he had any—and she is not expecting him to wear a suit or anything and he can wear whatever he is comfortable with but if he is not packed enough since this was an impromptu arrangement, he can borrow or ask for anything he likes from the royal family’s personal tailor. It was actually very nice and comforting.

They enter Wille’s private rooms and Wille’s lips are on his the second they close the door. He kisses back, of course he does but he doesn’t understand what got him a reaction like that.

“Hey,” Simon mumbles against Wille’s lips, finding it hard to break away but they both need to breathe again at some point.

“Hi,” Wille whispers, his eyes half-closed, leaning his forehead against his.

“Not that I haven’t enjoyed it or anything but what was that for?”

“I haven’t kissed you for hours.” Wille says simply.

“Oh, why are you so needy today, huh?” he teases. “First in the shower before dinner and now—”

“Shut up,” he surges forward again, catching his lips but the kiss is more urgent and passionate this time. “I want you .” And those three words are enough for Simon to stop teasing as he swallows thickly, his eyes turn darker. “I want you on the bed.” Those six words make him almost drop on the floor since his knees go weak. Wille pushes him until his knees hit the bed and pushes his chest gently and Simon falls on the bed with Wille climbing up the bed to straddle his waist and it is a static, electrifying, buzzing sound after that.

“I can’t believe you are actually here.” Wille whispers.

“What is not to believe?”

“Like you are here, at the palace, in my room, in my bed, naked, ” he giggles at the last part. “I never thought it was possible.”

“I know.”

“We had a dinner with my family and it actually went pretty great.” he mumbles. “It was all thanks to you.”

“You are giving me so much credit. Your mom was pretty great too.”

“Yes, she was, wasn’t it? I think I fully believe her now. I didn’t know she could be funny too.”

“You should. She was very nice.”

“Thank you for being great. Thank you for being here.”

“Don’t make me cry after sex.” Simon warns and Wille just laughs.

✨

It is the last day before Wille goes to Stockholm for the summer holiday and if Simon says he is not upset that he won’t be able to see him for a couple of months, he would be lying. He is waiting in Wille’s room after the end-of-term ceremony ended a little while ago. 

After they came back from Stockholm at the end of the Easter holidays, Simon felt a little weird from all the looks he got from their classmates and everybody at the school in general. They were always there but it got weirder. He knew that the photoshoot would put them in a new light but even the homophobic, racist pricks started to show some respect to him. Being the Crown Prince’s very official, very serious boyfriend and a photo with a smiling Queen of Sweden and Prince Consort beside him posing for the cameras in front of the Royal Garden did great wonders. Simon only thought how much of a hypocrite they were as he simply went back to how things were with Wille before the holiday. 

It was really the same for Simon; they both still hung out with friends here and in Bjärstad, joined movie nights curled up in Manor House, sprawled on the common room in Forest Ridge scrolling on the phone, exchanging cute little notes in the class—Wille writes a simple ‘you are cute’ on a piece of paper and Simon blushes so hard—, Wille throwing food at him at lunch in the dining hall with giggles. Maybe they became much more comfortable with PDA over the last few weeks and it was very freeing to make out with Wille whenever he wanted. And that brings him to his current misery because he won’t be able to kiss his boyfriend, much less see him for two whole months.

Wille comes back to the room, his phone still in his ear. “Yeah, okay, I will see you later,” he says and he hangs up. It is probably time to say goodbye now. For a short period of time, of course. It is not actually short; his stupid brain supplies.

“Come on, we are going,” Wille says, pulling his hand to bring him to his feet.

“Where?” 

“You will see.”

And they they leave Forest Ridge and head to a very familiar pathway leading to the lake, their lake Simon calls it, as they have been here so many times, spreading a blanket and sitting, talking, kissing, just listening to nature without having to talk. Looking at each other and actually seeing.

Wille hasn’t dropped his hand yet and he intertwines their hands, swinging them back and forth when they keep walking. Most of the students are already gone but they wouldn’t care even if they weren’t. The people stopped sparing a glance at them since they are probably sick of their too much PDA now since it’s been two months after the photoshoot. Simon has so many times sat against a tree with Wille just casually laying his head on his thigh. This was a natural, familiar sight to their classmates now. So here they are, hand in hand. 

“We don’t have time to have a picnic today. Or any blankets or food,” Simon chuckles. “Aren’t you supposed to be on the way home right now?”

“Not yet,” Wille smiles. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

Simon just rolls his eyes. 

“And we are not here for that anyway.”

“Then what are we here for?”

“To swim,” Wille says as he takes off his shoes first.

“What?” Simon says, confused and surprised.

“Yep, we have to.” He keeps taking off his socks and his t-shirt next.

“Wille, what are you doing? Someone might see.” He finally takes off his shorts, and that leaves him with his boxers and he goes into the lake. Simon just looks at him, mouth agape, as Wille takes off his boxers under the water and waves them like a goddamn flag in the air. He looks like he is going to throw them to his chest and Simon yells, "Don't even think about it." 

“The water is warm today.” he shouts with a small smile. “Come on.”

Simon takes a look around and there is nobody in the vicinity, and they won't be fully naked since Wille is putting his boxers back on under the water with a pout. But then, Wille meets his gaze with a sly grin as he watches Simon take off his clothes one by one. He watches him with hunger, biting the corner of his lip.

He goes into the lake, swimming closer to Wille, whose arms come to wrap his waist, his thumbs hooking under his boxers, still trying his luck. “I am not going to be a lead in another scandal, you horny asshole."

“But where is the fun in that?”

“You are a pain in the ass. I don’t know why I love you.” Simon shakes his head in feigned-annoyance. Wille just leans in and kisses him as he sinks them both under the water. Simon comes up to the surface, coughing, not expecting to be dunked under the water. “I hate you.”

“You don’t.” Wille smiles, pushing his wet hair out of his face. Simon rubs his eyes to get rid of the water and fixes Wille’s hair.

“I don’t,” Simon sighs as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders, pulling him close and Wille immediately rests his hands on his waist. “I will miss you so much during the summer break.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” Simon asks, offended and his voice is a little higher than usual.

“Do you really think I will be fine with not seeing you for two whole months?”

“What?” Simon sputters. “What choice do we have? You will be in Stockholm and I will be in Bjärstad.”

“We always have a choice, baby. You are the one who taught me that, actually.” he says, kissing his nose. “And there is this thing called a car. It takes you from one place to another. I have so many plans for this summer, actually. You and your family are invited to my house for Midsommar and I already told Linda about this. She didn’t tell you?”

“No, but," he sputters, "that is like... only two weeks away.”

“Still too long but it will do. And you can stay afterwards and we can see those places you always wanted to go in Stockholm and I will come to Bjärstad for your birthday in July. If you want me to, of course.” he grins.

“Don’t be an idiot. Of course I do.”

“Good, because that would ruin my plans so bad.” he chuckles. “And I can stay in your place for a week then.”

“That would be so amazing, actually.” Simon smiles with his whole face, eyes crinkling and all.

“And then you can come back to Stockholm again in the month after July.”

“The month after July? We are not saying his name now? He is not Voldemort, you know?” Simon chuckles, splashing him with water.

“He is worse ,” Wille says, with an ‘I am about to throw up’ face, splashing back.

“Okay, what are we going to do then? The month after July?” Simon asks, chuckling, tilting his head and wrapping his legs around Wille under the water.

“Don’t know yet. There is only one thing I want, though.”

“And what is that?”

“I want to be with you."

"Me too." Simon says and kisses him. They don't break apart for a couple of minutes, enjoying the soft press of their lips and the warm sun above their heads. Simon feels he is reborn.

"How about when we come back for our second year, you move in with me so we can room together?" Wille breaks the silence.

"Wille," Simon says with a pleading, almost pained voice. He can't afford to stay in Forest Ridge money-wise but more importantly, "I can't leave Mama, you know that. I will leave her when I go to uni eventually so I am going to stay with her as much as I can now."

"Okay," Wille shrugs with a small smile. "When you go to uni," he repeats, "can we room together then?" he asks, biting the corner of his lip, "but no dorms. I am sick of seeing people everywhere we go."

"Huh?"

"We will get an apartment, then we can be alone."

"Are you thinking about the future now?"

"Of course, I do." 

"Do you think we will be-"

"Yes, of course. I love you. I am not going anywhere."

Simon loves to fall asleep with Wille and wake up beside him. It is a distant future, they only finished their first year of high school but if it is something he truly believes, it is him and Wille against the worlds, against all odds.

"I love you too."

"So are you in? We will get an apartment when we go to uni two years later? Just you and me?"

"Yes, I am in. Just you and me."

✨