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Chapter Text

Kaiba swirled the lacquer-ware cup he'd had topped off immediately after finishing its predecessor. He wanted to be able to lie to himself and think he'd lost count of how many cups he'd downed, but he was well aware. He couldn't lose count if he tried. He grimaced at the clear, still sake as if it had contributed to his foul mood, but rather than a solution, all he found in its surface was a reflection of the low amber lighting of the bar's ceiling.

He sighed and took a sip. He'd ingested so much alcohol so quickly that the sting and intensity wasn't even noticeable anymore. He knew that was a bad thing, and that it would only make it easier for him to drink too much, but he wasn't in the proper state of mind to fight what he knew was a self-destructive course of action. A voice in his head, one that took the guise of another, chided him for wallowing in alcohol. That only made him drink faster. The reminder that there was no one in the seat beside him did nothing to improve the situation.

He was not at all ashamed to say that he'd grown accustomed to having company when he visited the gratefully authentic tiny bar in Little Tokyo, and was too drunk now to be ashamed to admit he was dismayed at the change. Not long ago, he wouldn't have imagined himself pining after Jonouchi Katsuya's company. He could feel disgusted with himself for allowing that to happen, but that horse was dead and beaten into a pavement smear. What had him wrangling with himself on this particular night wasn't even Jonouchi's absence-much as something felt wrong about not having him there at the moment, he was grateful for the solitude. It was odd to want someone around and wish to avoid them at once.

What he was actually brooding about was having Jonouchi close, not having him far away. The fleeting thought that Jonouchi might be close to someone else presently made him bristle sporadically, but he stubbornly chased that away by determinedly repeating to himself that he didn't want him around anyway. Kaiba was getting progressively less able to convince himself it was true just by thinking it over and over again, given the fact that the anger resulting from the thought was the only thing that broke up the despair he hoped enough sake would alleviate.

He supposed he had intended this to happen, in a way. He wanted Jonouchi. He had for quite a while. But he wasn't the type to chase someone simply because of a transient fancy. He'd spent so much time deliberating, working against his impulses, trying to keep any of what he was thinking from surfacing...only to have it all unraveled by a moment of weakness. He didn't like things happening that weren't planned. He had, despite continuing inner conflict, planned to eventually be intimate with Jonouchi. Eventually. He had not planned to lose control of himself because of a little alcohol.

He could at least comfort himself with the fact that things didn't go as far as they perhaps could have, but that may have been more because of Jonouchi than him. He didn't want to think about how much he would have done without some kind of intervention. Even a brisk kiss would have been a transgression when his intention had been to remain chaste. But, while he hadn't gone that far, he'd gone miles beyond just a kiss. Part of him wanted to be thrilled that it was partly because Jonouchi had been very receptive, but it wasn't exactly a comfort.

He knew and had known for a long time that Jonouchi was receptive to the physical. That was something Jonouchi was wholly unabashed about. Even within the duration of their friendship, Kaiba knew he'd had more hookups than could be counted on one hand. He preferred not to think how many he didn't know about. He tried to convince himself it wasn't his business, until he realized that he didn't care if it was or not. It didn't change the fact that he was-unduly, perhaps-possessive of Jonouchi. He was less than pleased with his own irrationality. He should be able to control feelings like that. Then again, it wasn't exactly something he'd been prepared for.

He didn't think many people could be prepared for Jonouchi, though. Plenty of people wanted him, or thought they did. Strangers on the street and high-profile socialites alike seemed nearly magnetically attracted to him. It wasn't that Jonouchi actively tried to draw everyone and anyone. His demeanor did that for him. He was comfortable. For a long time, he had been too comfortable for Kaiba, but that was practically another life. In the eyes of most people, Jonouchi's casual manner and constant energy, combined with a remarkable ability to listen despite what seemed like a short attention span, caught people's attention immediately.

That didn't mean they knew what they were getting into. Physically, Jonouchi was probably near flawless by American standards. He was Asian, but not "too" Asian. He didn't suffer the ever-hated double eyelids, nor were his features especially dark thanks to naturally blonde hair. He was of smaller frame than some American men, but nowhere near as slight as an average young adult Japanese male. And of course, California residents would approve of his physique. Jonouchi didn't even have to dedicate himself too much to the gym to put on muscle, nor did he have to work hard at controlling his eating to avoid weight gain. His physical advantages were evident, and Kaiba imagined (but tried not to imagine) that no one had any complaint with them.

What they might gripe about would be the fact that Jonouchi had no interest in going steady. He wasn't looking for the love of his life like most men and women their age claimed to be. He seemed immune to the starry-eyed infatuation associated with young adults; in his eyes, lovers came and went, the latter easily and often. Some people might have interpreted that as aloofness. Maybe it was. But Kaiba had learned and been forced to acknowledge that Jonouchi was free in every sense of the word, and nothing could ground him.

So no, the vast majority of people were likely unprepared for just the thing that drew them to Jonouchi-he was casual. He treated everyone the same, beggar or billionaire. He didn't prioritize a long-term relationship, and Kaiba feared that he may even be averted to them entirely. One of many reasons he was so incredulous at himself for doing anything sexual with Jonouchi before being absolutely certain that a relationship with him would be a good idea. Or, at least, until he was sure that Jonouchi completely understood what a relationship would entail.

Kaiba didn't want to be a notch in a headboard.

He indulged the unpleasant thought that he may well be, now; if Jonouchi wasn't here at the bar, then he was very likely off with someone else, wholly unaffected by the brief tryst they'd had or the discomfort that had followed. Kaiba tried to suppress the thought, telling himself that being spiteful toward himself wasn't going to help anything, but at the same time he felt he deserved it. He didn't have the willpower at present to compartmentalize and logic his way out of the negativity stewing around in his head, and the cups of sake he'd emptied weren't helping. He set down the most recent addition to their number, determining that it might be best to stop. The drinks were exacerbating the issue rather than making him unable to think about it. If he kept on until he couldn't think at all, he'd end up passed out on the table. That wouldn't have a good outcome on any level.

Kaiba stood with what he hoped was minimal effort, then paid his tab as gracefully as possible before exiting the bar. He wasn't quite drunk enough to sway on his feet, but only because he was still able to consciously avoid it. He also had his senses about him enough to know calling a cab was the best idea for getting home.

He did so, though communicating in English only caused another wave of sulking to pass over him. One of the only reasons he'd ended up in this mess was because Jonouchi at least spoke Japanese. Not in the best-mannered way or accent, but it was familiar, natural Japanese. Not an ear-gratingly American "konnichiwa" from his business associates or the out-of-context Japanese that left the mouths of countless teens and young adults as gracelessly as English from the Japanese youth back home.

He should have brought Isono with him, he thought. Then what was left of his rational mind reminded him that Isono was needed in Japan, not with him as a ward against homesickness. Jonouchi had served the purpose-at least to the degree of liking the same food and speaking the same language. He almost seemed more appropriately placed in American society. He was vulgar, blunt, and loud. He smiled at strangers on the bus and yelled when drivers put him in danger on the crosswalk. Kaiba had found those things about him upsetting in their teen years, and discomforting now. He still wasn't totally sure it was something he could get past, and it was unrealistic to expect Jonouchi to simply stop doing it.

It wasn't long before a cab pulled up to the curb, saving him from hiding himself in his coat once what heat was stored inside was neutralized by the cold. He had to repeat his address to the driver several times, partly because they both had accents (though they were far different in origin) and because Kaiba was simply too drunk to articulate his way around it. Eventually the driver at least seemed to understand, and started their course. Kaiba didn't have much choice but to trust him and wait, and even if he'd wanted to backseat drive the whole way there, he didn't think he could. The distraction was too much to allow for it.

He leaned against the right-side door of the car, his eyes wandering vacantly over the sidewalk they passed at high speed. It was fairly late, but there was still a respectable number of people bustling around, probably for the night life more than any constructive activity. It was only because of the night life in the area that he and Jonouchi had met again at all. He'd found out very quickly that Jonouchi indulged frequently in what the evenings had to offer, when he wasn't busy pursuing the hobby of dueling that he'd maintained. Kaiba didn't get much from a habit of going out and getting smashed alone surrounded by strangers when he could do just the same at home, but he'd needed something to break the monotony of his life in America.

He'd never really acclimatized to the new country. America was a practical place for him to be, and there was nothing...especially wrong with it, he supposed. But every one of the little things he'd liked about Japan were absent, and that had grown more obvious every day. His solution to his growing irrational disdain for a country that, for all intents and purposes, had welcomed him warmly, was to bury himself in his work. It had been effective-for a while. But even he felt the burden of stress eventually, and the quality of his employees' work had a marked decline over time as his micromanaging intensified. Cooping himself up in the house to work wasn't much better, and since the only alternative was staring at the wall, he'd concluded with great disdain that he'd have to at least try going out.

The lucky thing about California was the high population of Asians, far Eastern and otherwise. Chinatown was a well-known term by all Americans, but perhaps less notorious was the Japanese community. It wasn't perfect, by any means-many parts of it reflected the tackiest aspects of home. But the food, faces, and language were familiar, as was the sensation of being the tallest person within ten miles.

His reasons for visiting what had become his regular watering hole had been very different from Jonouchi's-as different as their general schedules. Yet, fate had conspired to land them there at the same time, on the same night. Years ago, Kaiba might have turned heel to leave an establishment and never return if he saw Jonouchi even breathing near it. However, time to grow into an adult, and the long separation, had made him more astonished than anything. It made a small, wry smile creep across his face now, but at the time he'd been in surly disbelief that somehow, he always crossed paths with Jonouchi against his intentions. What were the odds that the one night he wandered into a semi-promising bar in Little Tokyo, he'd run into the one person in the entire state of California that he knew? And didn't necessarily want to see?

SIX MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba couldn't help but notice him the moment he crossed the threshold of the bar. It wasn't because he was being particularly observant; it was because the shock of yellow in a low-lit sea of deep brunette and true black was impossible not to investigate. Even as he'd looked closer, he'd started to assume it was just some trendy kid with a fresh dye job. But when he saw the person the hair was attached to, he knew without having to approach that his roots matched his tips.

Jonouchi was having a fantastic time all by himself, apparently, chatting with the bartender as his cup was filled and smiling at anyone who walked within three feet of him. He didn't especially seem to notice when the smiles he received in response were on the smoky side. Kaiba wasn't completely sure what to do. His first thought was to leave, briskly. That didn't have much staying power in his mind; it was immature to do, wasn't it? He was a grown man. He didn't have to leave to avoid someone who might annoy him.

"Hey you," yelled out Jonouchi with a wide smile, pointing directly at Kaiba before laughing aloud, "yes, you, smart guy. You look lost. Want a drink?"

Kaiba's first impulse was to be offended, but that was more his temperament than anything especially idiotic Jonouchi had done. He was too confused to be truly angry-could Jonouchi be so drunk that he couldn't see him properly? After a few more seconds' hesitation, Kaiba allowed curiosity and the possibility of imported drinks to lead him to the seat beside him.

"No one who walks into a bar is lost," Kaiba replied in much less stilted English. Then he continued a bit more quietly in Japanese: "Surely, you recognize me now that I'm a foot away. You'd be on the floor if you had tunnel vision that awful."

Jonouchi blinked once, slow to respond, before breaking into another sharp fit of laughter. "Holy shit," he answered in broken English, shaking his glass in his hand as sake spilled off the rim, "I thought you were some Korean guy. You look like a popstar. What are you, a duelist? Have I played against you before? I'm honestly not good with faces when I'm drunk," he joked, taking a drink before grabbing at a stick of yakitori, "You gotta tell me who you are."

Kaiba sat motionless for what felt like a long time, but it could only have been a second or two. His eyes had widened without his notice, his lips slightly parted in utter shock as he tried in vain to determine whether Jonouchi was playing some kind of joke on him. If that was the case, he sure as hell wasn't going to take the bait. But Jonouchi was so drunk, and the idea so clever beyond his means, that Kaiba concluded he must really be that stupid. He inhaled a sharp breath, lip curling as his eyes narrowed, offense taking the place of astonishment.

"Every time I think you can't be more of an idiot…" he began in a mutter. When Jonouchi only raised his eyebrows and seemed confused, as if he hadn't heard, he sighed in exasperation. "Yes, we've dueled before, Jonouchi. And I won."

"Eh, It happens," answered Jonouchi back cooly. He didn't seem that bothered by that fact. He just waved for the bartender, ordering another drink, this time two bottles of Kirin beer, passing one to Kaiba despite not asking if it was even desired. "Do you have some vendetta against me then, guy? Doesn't make sense if you managed to beat me."

"Not especially," Kaiba replied, stunned again by the fact that Jonouchi hadn't even been concerned enough to review his loss history for who he might be speaking to. "I can't say it was overly important to me."

"But you cared enough to remember my name," answered Jonouchi slyly. "So that must mean something."

Kaiba schooled his expression and stared back at Jonouchi levelly. What could he even say to that? He didn't want to start a fight by reminding Jonouchi that the only reason he remembered was because he'd been such a yappy little blockhead about facing off. That, and he'd been a constant companion to Kaiba's actual vendetta. He chose not to bring it up. If nothing else, than because he might be accused of protesting too hard.

"It's a common name," he reasoned in a dismissive tone, "And there aren't many Japanese with your features."

"Oh," laughed Jonouchi, ruffling his hair a little before winking at Kaiba playfully, "you remembered who I am because you liked my hair. Whatever, man. Play cool however you want..."

Kaiba was struck with the realization that Jonouchi might have waved him over with a goal in mind. He'd been too bewildered to think about it previously, but his responses and choice of...interpretation was giving definite vibes.

"I don't have to put much effort into being "cool"," Kaiba began a bit absently before regaining his senses, "And what does it matter to you if I liked your hair?"

"Good question," answered Jonouchi with a small smile. He didn't seem keen on answering it any further. Instead, he took another drink of his beer, just giving Kaiba a cheeky side glance before playing with the condensation on the bar table. "Let me ask you a question. Your accent is faint but I can hear it, sounds very familiar. What part of Japan are you from?"

Kaiba paused to indulge in a small sip of the drink he'd been given. It gave him a short opportunity to think, and drinking was what he'd come for anyway. He debated how to answer the question before settling on remaining cryptic. The situation was shaping up to be at least a little more interesting than it might have been if they'd immediately recognized each other.

"I'm from Osaka," he replied. It wasn't untrue, but it wasn't especially helpful, either. "And you?"

"Shizuoka prefecture," answered Jonouchi honestly, "I grew up in Domino City, which is a small city near Kanagawa... You don't sound Osakan. Either you're lying to me or you're very good at hiding your accent."

"I'm a businessman," Kaiba supplied, "An Osaka accent doesn't serve my means. I only lived there for a short time, anyway."

"Oh, you're one of those guys," Jonouchi snorted, "a salaryman. Probably just here on business before you go back home, right? I see your type all the time in here."

He began chewing on his meat stick again in earnest. It looked like chicken liver. Kaiba wasn't entirely opposed to it.

"What's this? Don't tell me you have a vendetta against me now," Kaiba smirked as he leaned forward more comfortably on the bar, still nursing his drink. "It's not your business, but I live here on a permanent basis. Since traveling businessmen apparently aren't good enough for you."

"Aren't good for me," Jonouchi corrected. "They don't make good friends."

That made Kaiba pause momentarily, but he brushed it off and shrugged.

"The fact that I live in town doesn't mean I'll make a better one."

"Who said anything about me even considering you for anything," laughed Jonouchi. He was seemingly amusing himself, making small animals out of the water droplets on the counter before wiping it on his pants. "I like conversation, even bad ones. I'm too drunk to care about anything right now..."

"Evidently," Kaiba snorted, "If you're entertaining yourself by calling after strangers you think are Korean. Though it seems you've lost interest in whatever was on your mind when you did."

"I thought you might be interesting." Jonouchi shrugged. "If you're a business type, then you probably aren't wearing contacts, are you? Now that I can see you better, you don't look like one of those surgery junkies, either."

"I've been very fortunate," Kaiba remarked dryly. "So, does that mean your boundaries don't extend to strangers, but they do extend to foreign businessmen and people with plastic surgery?"

"Why do you care," Jonouchi challenged, making a face before rolling his eyes, "It's not like you're actually offended about it..."

"I can get offended, if you like," Kaiba schooled his face against a smirk. Now he was admittedly just toying with Jonouchi. Only a little. Come morning, he might put two and two together, but at least for now, by some miracle, he thought he was talking with a stranger. It wasn't a frequent occurrence in Kaiba's life. "But I don't see a reason to. As for my curiosity-I'm just wondering what it would really take to turn you off. Aside from married interlopers."

"That's not really any of your business," smirked Jonouchi before he waved the bartender again. He seemed to know before words could even be exchanged that it was time to give the bill, and Jonouchi sloppily took care of it, seeming unsure almost of what he was even reading on the receipt. "Don't tease if you aren't interested. That's just mean."

"Hmm. Maybe. If nothing else, it might be rude, considering you did go through the trouble of buying me a drink," Kaiba noted, glancing at his half-finished bottle. Jonouchi had evidently given up, which was probably for the best-if he'd been more persistent, it would have been uncomfortable. Perhaps more for Jonouchi than for him, at least after he figured out who he'd been after.

"It's also rude to call after strangers you find attractive, and then blow them off because you're bored," he added as Jonouchi seemed to be signing his bill. He was drunk enough that holding a pen had apparently become unfamiliar.

"I'm a rude person," he answered under his breath, "Manners don't get anyone anywhere worth going."

"I can't exactly argue," Kaiba replied, though he had a feeling Jonouchi had mainly been grumbling to himself. "I suppose I wouldn't be sitting here in the first place if you had any manners."

"Exactly. So a part of you, however hidden behind that walled up exterior, was interested," pointed out Jonouchi as he got himself up, grabbing one last stick of chicken before sticking it in his mouth, bobbing it up and down with his tongue, "or you're just too cheap to pay for your own drinks. Whichever."

Kaiba had to stop himself from bursting into laughter at that. Instead, he stood as well, bottle in hand.

"Are you saying that because you're trying to win an argument, or because you want me to be interested that badly?" He asked, only partly masking the amusement in his tone. If they were younger, he might have taken the opportunity to be cruel, but the idea seemed unappealing to him now.

"If we've dueled before, then you should know already, I don't care about winning or losing that much. I just like playing the game."

He turned to leave rather quickly. Suddenly Jonouchi was a flash of blond hair, darting towards the door as cold air hit Kaiba before it became warm around him again.

Jonouchi stood against the bar's front entrance, fiddling with his phone as he ate with his free hand. He didn't look good at juggling things in his hand, but he didn't appear to care too much about dropping something, either. Then his eyes lit up before he let his phone glow in front of him, a feminine voice in Japanese giving him directions.

Kaiba looked after him for a second or two, deliberating, then decided to follow. He didn't have anything more interesting to do, sadly enough, and drinking alone at the bar didn't sound especially stimulating by comparison. Besides-wasn't it better to not let stumbling drunk people walk home alone? Little Tokyo it may have been, but they were still in America.

"Hey, you," Kaiba called as he strode after Jonouchi, mimicking his less-than-polite address from earlier. Jonouchi either didn't notice, or just didn't feel like standing still. Or pausing in the act of stripping his meat on a stick, but that was to be expected. Kaiba didn't call after him again; Jonouchi was shuffling, so he caught him up quickly enough. He'd notice someone walking directly beside him eventually.

"Hey, you," Jonouchi mimicked, a dumb smile plastered on his face, "what do you want?"

"Well, the short answer is entertainment, I suppose," Kaiba snorted. "If I wanted to drink quietly by myself, I could have stayed home. Besides, I'd hate to be left wondering if you tripped into something dangerous on your way home."

He said it in a teasing tone, but when he thought back to what a spaz Jonouchi had been when they were teenagers, he wondered if maybe he should be concerned. Or, at least, Jonouchi should be. But he hardly ever seemed concerned about anything, least of all his bodily health.

"Hmmm, I do this all the time," Jonouchi answered without losing a beat. "I like to walk alone, sometimes. Especially when it's winter and the air gets brisk, I can really think to myself.

"Or rather, maybe I could if I wasn't so drunk," he laughed. His arm reached out and grabbed Kaiba's shoulder for support before he stabilized himself and continued on like nothing had happened. Kaiba frowned only slightly out of irritation. It occurred to him that maybe he should be angrier that Jonouchi was so comfortable being familiar with his person, but it didn't seem that important. Maybe because he was too drunk to know what he was doing.

"Maybe you should skip the philosophizing tonight and concentrate on walking, then," Kaiba suggested. "I know it's been a while, but you never struck me as the type to enjoy time alone to think."

"If we just dueled once, then you probably don't even know me that well, pal," laughed Jonouchi as he rolled his eyes and waved a hand. "I haven't been in Japan for three years, at least. So, you probably dueled against me when I was still an ameutur. Which means," Jonouchi continued, slurring his English horrendously as Kaiba cringed, "You probably didn't know me well to begin with.

"Clearly I don't remember you, since I don't even know who you are..."

"Clearly," Kaiba agreed, though with a very sarcastic tone. After a moment's pause for thought, he continued more flatly, his face set in a frown. "Maybe for the best. We did meet, but in most ways we didn't know each other very well. Even if we had…"

He glanced at Jonouchi, who seemed to be trying to pay attention, but was distracted by how difficult it apparently was for him to put one foot in front of the other safely.

"...You've changed a lot."

Or he had. Or both. It didn't really matter. Even if they were completely the same, the circumstances were nothing like they had been years ago.

"You aren't going to tell me your name, are you?" Jonouchi blinked before stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, letting out a sigh as he crossed his arms against his shoulders. He looked up, his eyes gazing over the front garage of a car shop before he began fiddling with his keys. "That's okay, though," he answered, flickering his eyes back at Kaiba with a smile, "I like a guy with some mystery to him."

"Oh?" Kaiba quirked an eyebrow. "I won't spoil it for you, then. I'd hate to leave knowing you still think I'm boring."

He was at least halfway confident that Jonouchi would solve the mystery when he sobered up. If he remembered any of it. The prospect of him forgetting this evening seemed oddly upsetting, though. It was bad enough that Jonouchi had forgotten him once. He couldn't think of anyone else on the planet who would have, after everything that had happened. Even after years apart. But Jonouchi had always been...special.

Jonouchi stopped in front of a side door, opening up to what appeared to be a stairway up into the dark leading to what probably was an apartment. He was living above a car garbage. It was likely that he was working there, too. Kaiba knew now after seeing this place that he wouldn't forget it.

"I would have liked you better if you were Korean though," Jonouchi answered with a wink, "They know how to have fun unlike you Japanese businessmen. Sayonara, stranger. Maybe I'll remember you in the morning, but I doubt it!"

He walked past the threshold and closed the door. Jonouchi was gone, behind a bolted door, probably trying to lug his drunk ass up a set of steep stairs to go pass out somewhere. Kaiba just stood there for a second, soaking it all in before snorting to himself.

He started to walk back the way he came, not because it was more constructive a way to get home than hailing a cab, but because he didn't want to go home just yet. His hotel room provided comforts tailored to his tastes, but even the tackiest parts of Little Tokyo were better at staving off melancholy. At least for the moment. He still had a drink to finish, anyway.

He gazed at the half-empty bottle, pondering what had just happened, but he shook himself out of it. It wasn't important enough to spend time analyzing. He could admit that it had been an abnormally not-awful interaction between himself and Jonouchi. Then again, at least for that short time, Jonouchi hadn't known who he was, so maybe it didn't count.

It didn't matter. Jonouchi wasn't as obnoxious as he'd been in the past, but he still didn't seem overly bright. Odds were he'd forget everything by morning, and Kaiba didn't plan to run into him again. Why should he? He doubted things would go as smoothly if Jonouchi both knew who he was looking at, and wasn't half-trying to get into his pants.

Kaiba absently sipped at his beer as he strolled, his mind wandering back to the bar despite his attempts to steer it away. Unhappy as it made him to acknowledge, there wasn't anything more interesting to think about. What did it say about his life when a drunk moron hitting on him was a more preoccupying thing to analyze than his work? Or-

Or what? He didn't do much else.

He grimaced as he finished his drink, then quickly sought out a bin to dispose of it. Suddenly, being out didn't seem much better than being in. He deliberately swept any further thought about Jonouchi out of his mind as he hailed a cab.

Chapter Text

Kaiba wasn’t completely sure why he returned to the bar. Odds were, he’d only end up tipsy by himself at the counter or a table, and horribly bored on top of that. He would have done just as well staying home, where he could have his favorite drinks for free and without worrying about things like how he’d get back to his hotel room.

He attributed his decision to some kind of logic failure that must have happened within him without his knowledge. Something out of the ordinary had happened when he went there the night before, so maybe there was a foolish hope inside him that the same would occur if he went back. He tried not to let himself think Jonouchi was especially responsible for his interest. Running into him had been a change of pace, and he stood as something familiar, which Kaiba needed. Not especially good or bad, but familiar.

But even if he did run into Jonouchi again, there was only so much they could discuss without him figuring out who Kaiba was. Assuming he was still too drunk to recognize him, and assuming he hadn’t put it together that morning. And if Kaiba remained cryptic, then Jonouchi would grow bored and that would be the end of it.

So it wasn’t sensible to depend on Jonouchi for amusement. Telling himself that didn’t change the fact that he was doing it, though. He had a better chance of at least some brief entertainment from speaking semi-anonymously to Jonouchi than wandering the city looking for a slice of the nightlife. He’d played games for worse reasons. And he did like games. There hadn’t been many in his life, though, since the move to America. He was retired from Duel Monsters, even as a hobby, and had dedicated himself to building the company some years ago.

The company couldn’t fill all his time, though. And more than he needed entertainment specifically, he needed stimulation. He needed to absorb something that wasn’t the same as his daily routine. There was a chance of finding that at the bar. Maybe even if Jonouchi wasn’t there, something would serve the purpose. He doubted that nearly before he could finish thinking it, though.

He wished he wasn’t so relieved when he entered the bar and saw Jonouchi sitting much as he had been the night before--leaning on the counter, drunk, his yellow hair almost painfully reflecting the amber ceiling lights so he stood as a kind of beacon among the dark-haired crowd. The only thing that was different this time was that Jonouchi didn’t see him, and didn’t call after him; that, and instead of nursing one cup, he had a sort of fortress of empty bottles around him.

Kaiba approached, silently, being deliberately inconspicuous while pretending to be casual. He didn’t want to be seen before he sat down. It was a small and fleeting game, but he was still pleased with himself when he sat with deliberate heaviness on the seat next to Jonouchi’s and startled him from whatever thoughts were preoccupying his intoxicated brain.

“Oh, it’s mister not-Korean back for more tonight,” greeted Jonouchi with a sloppy smile, “looking for more free drinks, salaryman?”

“I think I’ll cover my own tab,” Kaiba snorted, glad that Jonouchi had chosen to greet him in Japanese. His English was painful, at least when he was drunk, and there was no real point in talking to him anyway if not to hear his own language. “But it’s generous of you to offer, considering you’ve already bought...a few.”

He scanned the empty bottles that had been placed equal distance from each other in a quickly-forming semicircle in front of Jonouchi’s arms. There were six. He’d already topped off a six-pack and was downing a seventh. Kaiba wondered, fleetingly, if Jonouchi was coming here and getting smashed for fun or not. He brushed the thought away; it didn’t really matter.

“I see you haven’t forgotten me this time,” he noted, amusement in his tone, but not his expression. “But I suppose no one’s memory can be that short.”

“You have an unforgettable face,” smiled Jonouchi a tad flirtatiously before he sipped from his bottle. “No contacts, right? I might have been drunk silly, but I wasn’t black out...”

“No contacts,” Kaiba confirmed in a mutter, wondering just how serious Jonouchi was about his advances. He’d lost interest the night before, but now he was either joking around or making a second attempt. Kaiba found it odd, when he thought about it. Jonouchi was only a year younger than him--so definitely a grown man. Why was he pursuing that kind of curiosity? They weren’t teenagers anymore.

“My face was evidently forgettable enough yesterday,” he pressed, taking control of the conversation again before his contemplation aroused any suspicion. “I’m insulted. After all, I remembered you. Even though I’m the one who won the duel.”

“I have a common name,” answered Jonouchi with a laugh. “Besides, sometimes the end result isn’t as memorable as the path getting there. You might have won, but I was probably more interesting.”

He lightly elbowed Kaiba before breaking into a small laugh, finishing up his seventh bottle before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“I take exception to that,” Kaiba frowned in distaste, less at the comment than at Jonouchi nudging him and the fact that he couldn’t be bothered to use a bar napkin. “If you remembered me, you’d know that’s not the case. But if you’re anything like you were then, you’d probably still insist.”

“Insist on what?” asked Jonouchi innocently. He blinked, as if confused.

“Insist that you were more interesting,” Kaiba clarified, scrutinizing Jonouchi’s face. The sudden shift made him wonder just how serious the question was. Jonouchi was less predictable now than he’d been as a teenager, mainly because before he could be depended on to rise to any bait, always as extremely as possible. His increased self-confidence and newfound ability to think before he spoke meant more wordplay would be involved. Not that Kaiba was complaining. Jonouchi wasn’t more interesting than he was, but he’d certainly become more interesting than he was in high school.

“Maybe you’ve forgotten me, but surely you remember what you were like,” he smirked slightly. If Jonouchi picked up on the subtle insult, he might get snappy. Kaiba hoped he wouldn’t, though. It wouldn’t be much fun, and he didn’t feel like being shouted at in a public bar.

“I try not to think about it,” answered Jonouchi a bit sullenly as he waved the bartender over. The man seemed to know exactly what Jonouchi wanted before a word could be said, a rum and coke being served up before Jonouchi offered it towards Kaiba, about to hand it over before he quickly pulled back and spilled the entire drink across his lap.

“Just like I try not to think about your ugly ass self, Kaiba Seto,” Jonouchi announced loudly in clear English. “Yeah, I’m not as stupid as you thought I was. I know exactly who you are.”

Before Kaiba could even think of a response, Jonouchi dropped money on the bar counter and left. Kaiba watched his back as he left, but didn’t make a fool of himself by calling after him. Instead, he searched hastily for some napkins and used them to soak up the mess on his pants. He was shocked that Jonouchi had managed to surprise him two days in a row--more so this time, since it was accompanied by soiling a two hundred dollar pair of jeans.

He felt like he should be angry, but he just...wasn’t. He was interested, and more than that, he felt a spark of competition.That had never been inspired by Jonouchi before, but he wasn’t going to complain about the source. He missed the feeling. It was the slightest bit thrilling.

Kaiba stood from the bar, his pants now more damp than truly wet. The bartender and patrons weren’t even looking his way, which was good, but he couldn’t help wondering why their attention hadn’t been grabbed by Jonouchi’s raucous behavior. He was also curious to know why the bartender was able to tell what Jonouchi was thinking without any communication. Jonouchi must be a real regular if that was the case.

And if Jonouchi was a regular, that meant he’d be back the next night. Kaiba planned to be as well. Whatever little game they’d started playing, for once Jonouchi was halfway competent enough to make it worth his time. It was better than sitting bored at home, anyway. Even if it hadn’t been, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist the chance to compete in something that wasn’t business. Jonouchi presented a small challenge now.

Kaiba wondered what would happen if he showed up the next day. Would Jonouchi just ignore him? Walk out? Waste more rum? Or--most shocking of all--hold a conversation with him? Now that would be truly intriguing.

IN THE PRESENT

When Kaiba arrived at the small, unrefined, but seemingly authentic taco shop Jonouchi had chosen, he was expecting Jonouchi to be sitting somewhere facing the door, waving and smiling like he always did. When he thought about it, it didn’t exactly make sense to think that--it was just the mental image that was associated with Jonouchi for him.

Rather than being jovial as usual, Jonouchi was off at a corner table, slightly slouched and staring down at the metal surface. He didn’t notice Kaiba had entered until his eyes wandered around the room by chance and came to rest on him. Surprisingly, he averted his gaze immediately and grabbed for a tortilla chip in the complimentary bowl on the table.

Kaiba frowned just slightly, wondering at Jonouchi’s sullen behavior. It wasn’t illogical by any means, but it held implications that threw his thoughts into question. He’d been strongly under the impression that Jonouchi was indifferent about the situation, at least far more indifferent than he was. At most, he might be uncomfortable with the distance Kaiba had put between them since the last time they spoke. But here he was, looking rather depressed. Kaiba reminded himself that he didn’t know yet whether Jonouchi was depressed about the situation, or about seeing him, so he restrained any emotional response to the topic.

He sat in a chair across from Jonouchi at the table without speaking, knowing he’d already been noticed. They sat in silence for a few tense seconds, though for Kaiba it was because he didn’t want to speak first and say the wrong thing, while Jonouchi seemed to be trying to say something but couldn’t manage it--or didn’t know how to say it. Eventually, the tension wracked Kaiba’s nerves enough to spur him to attempt conversation.

“How have you been?” He asked quietly, knowing it was a ridiculous thing to start the conversation with under the circumstances. But he couldn’t really think of anything more appropriate, either. If he started on the problem immediately, he’d seem aggressive. The small talk might annoy Jonouchi, but hopefully it would get his mouth running. That was usually an easy enough thing to do.

“Not that great, actually,” answered Jonouchi with a heavy sigh. “I really like tacos, so you’d think I’d be in a better mood...”

Kaiba had to actively stop his brow from furrowing as he tried to figure out whether Jonouchi was trying to use humor to lighten the situation, or if he was being intentionally dismissive. He couldn’t figure out which, and now knew he couldn’t trust his usual first instinct to assume the worst, so he responded neutrally.

“I never found food to be the best method of improving my mood,” he noted, “Even my favorites. All you’ll get is uncomfortably bloated.”

He picked up a tortilla chip experimentally and examined it, debating whether or not to try it. Why had he even agreed to come here? He had nothing against tacos as a food, but he preferred meals that required more care and finesse. Whatever was served in this place would likely be greasy, salty, and heavily flavored. As it was supposed to be, but it wasn’t to Kaiba’s tastes. He put the chip back in the bowl. The gritty, oily feeling of it stayed on his fingers.

“I take responsibility for my part in your poor mood, though.”

Jonouchi snatched the chip that Kaiba had placed back, not even hesitating to eat it after dipping it halfway in salsa. He seemed intense about it, his eyes never leaving the basket as he shrugged.

“I don’t really want to talk about that now,” Jonouchi muttered, “it wasn’t our greatest moment, for either of us. I just wanted you to come out here with me and try enjoying the food. It’s not really all that bad, if you give it a chance. The tacos are pretty good, and if you want to be a little adventurous, you should try the tongue.”

He didn’t look up as he spoke, not once. It felt a little alienating, but Jonouchi smiled a little bit as he picked up his menu and glanced over the options.

“Try the tongue…” Kaiba repeated in a low mutter, looking down at his menu as well--if only for something to look at aside from Jonouchi’s face. Watching him while he was glancing away made him feel very ignored.

The menu itself was nicely laminated and very clean, which was a good sign. He still couldn’t say any of the food looked especially appealing to him, and he didn’t want to order a plate just to leave it picked at or wholly untouched. He doubted that would improve Jonouchi’s mood.

“Just get some carne asada tacos, you freak,” Jonouchi tried joking. He looked up with a slight smirk, but then he turned his attention back to looking over the page again. Kaiba didn’t reply, because he didn’t want to lie by saying he would, and he wanted even less to be honest and seem picky. Which he was, very much so. But it wasn’t the time to indulge that too much.

“Even if it doesn’t give me much of an appetite,” he began, glancing benignly at the menu, “It does smell nice in here.”

Jonouchi finally looked up. “You don’t eat enough. I know you skip out on meals, and one day you’re going to wither and die because of it. Just fucking eat something. People can’t live on liquid diets alone... Just get the beef.”

Kaiba was getting the distinct impression that Jonouchi’s equilibrium may be riding on him ordering and eating a meal more than he’d thought. He put that realization on the back burner, though, when he ran across the selection of spirits on the back of the menu. Now that he wanted, and badly. He would even be worldly and order the tequila--which was, hopefully, something well above Jose Cuervo or Patron in quality. Even if it wasn’t...alcohol was alcohol, from a practical standpoint.

“I didn’t invite you over just to bore you out with my ugly eating habits,” mumbled Jonouchi. He finally seemed somewhat satisfied though, at least for the moment. Setting the order menu down, Jonouchi turned his attention to snacking on his chips again, watching Kaiba seemingly while avoiding direct eye contact at the same time. “Next time I’ll choose more wisely. I know you prefer your comfort foods.”

“You don’t have to make every choice based on me,” Kaiba snorted, “I doubt that would be much fun for you after a while. I can compromise. And if not, it doesn’t bother me to not have food when you are.”

Jonouchi seemed dependent on group eating, in a way. Kaiba thought it might be that it comforted him to think the people around him were enjoying themselves. Or, maybe he felt awkward if he was scarfing a meal while Kaiba delicately sipped his way through hard drinks.

“Fine, whatever then...” Jonouchi ate another chip before finally changing the subject. “So... how have you been? With your company, I mean. It must be pretty crazy, trying to plan a dueling tournament here.”

“I can’t say it isn’t,” Kaiba replied in a low voice, bothered by how much they were beating around the bush. But if that was making Jonouchi comfortable, then he was happy to keep it up. “But no more than usual. Certainly not as much as Battle City. It took many months of pain to get that organized. This is far more manageable in scope. I get at least a little sleep every night, so I’m being spoiled a bit, really.”

“Spoiled,” laughed Jonouchi as he raised an eyebrow. “How about working with the Americans? You seemed so put out at first, having to deal with them, and to be honest, I’m jealous of you, Kaiba.” He stuck another chip in his mouth before reaching a little forward against the table, “You speak perfect English and don’t sound like some ignorant off-the-boat like me.”

“Psh,” Kaiba scoffed, rolling his eyes. “You speak more intelligent English than most natural borns, so don’t be too displeased with yourself. Anyway--even if your English was perfect, it wouldn’t make a difference. The first several steps in dealing with Americans is getting past what they’re expecting from a Japanese businessman. We’re speaking the same language, but they don’t really seem to understand what I’m saying most of the time.

“And that’s why I don’t like dealing with Americans. But I suppose you could say it’s getting easier as I improve my…”soft skills”, is what they call it here.”

“It’s good for you,” Jonouchi laughed. “Maybe in Japan, while dealing with the descendants of rice farmers, you could bully them into your way of thinking, but you have to use some diplomacy here. I know you need that skill...” His hazel eyes traveled around the room briefly before he grabbed his glass of water, sipping on the straw before turning his gaze back at Kaiba before giving him a slight wink. “It will only improve you, Kaiba.

“Besides, you’re less likely to make mistakes if other people are allowed some input.”

“I’m insulted,” Kaiba stared at Jonouchi in mock offense. Normally, he would be legitimately offended, but he realized that he’d grown accustomed to Jonouchi’s sense of humor over the past months. That, and the fact that he tended not to think about how his words might offend before he said them. “You’re implying that I make mistakes to begin with. Impossible.”

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Jonouchi stressed with a small laugh, “especially you. You just don’t like admitting to them.”

“I won’t waste either of our time denying that,” Kaiba shrugged slightly, then took a chance on relaxing his posture to lean forward on the table slightly--just enough that his elbows could rest at the edge. “And I admit that I haven’t put much effort into rectifying mistakes in the past. I can’t attribute that to ignorance--I know when I’ve done something especially wrong. I’m just proud.”

“No one is putting you on trial, Kaiba...”

Jonouchi seemed as if he was thinking of saying more, but then a waitress finally appeared, taking their orders. Unsurprisingly, Jonouchi ordered a mountain of food. He seemed excited, grinning over the giant burrito he pointed at in the menu, not shying from all the toppings and sides. Kaiba, in stark contrast, just ordered a drink. He was about to get away with it, too, when Jonouchi butted in with another order of beef tacos before the waitress finally left.

“What you don’t eat, I will.”

“I can tolerate that,” Kaiba conceded, though reluctantly. “Don’t take it as a personal offense if I leave you quite a bit.”

“I will be quite upset if you don’t try enjoying dinner with me,” added Jonouchi as if he hadn’t heard Kaiba speak at all, “after I went though the hassle of making reservations, you know, after finding this place... It was so much work, and I had high hopes.”

“Oh, I see,” Kaiba raised an eyebrow. He hadn’t expected Jonouchi to go through that much trouble. Did it really take reservations to get a table in a taco place? Maybe. He wouldn’t know. Even if he didn’t, maybe Jonouchi just wanted to be completely sure they could eat there. He was impressed by the effort, if that was the case, but he wasn’t certain he should be flattered.

“I’ll eat until I’m full, how’s that?” He offered. “At least you’ll know I’m not letting myself waste away, as you seem to think I am.”

“I’m sorry for not wanting you to die yet,” snorted Jonouchi. He was the only one eating the chips, and it didn’t look like he was planning to stop anytime soon. The basket was still half full. The waitress placed a new cup of salsa in front of them before refilling his water.

“I think I’m gonna compete in this duel monsters competition you have going on though,” added Jonouchi out of the blue, “I haven’t really been playing enough. I gotta get my name out there again.”

“Oh?” Kaiba’s interest was piqued, and for the first time in what felt like forever, his concentration was free of his strain over his relationship with Jonouchi and wholly focused on something else. “I hope you really plan to. It would be good to have a contestant with previous championship experience there. And it’s been a long time since I saw you play.”

Jonouchi clutched his heart in mock surprise. “Really Kaiba, this is the first time I’ve ever heard you say that you liked my dueling!” He bumped Kaiba’s calf under the table with his toe, laughing a little before sipping his water again. “And here I thought you only let me play for shits and giggles, but you actually like my crazy dueling style.”

“Heh,” Kaiba smirked and glanced down at the table as if he’d be able to see through to where Jonouchi had unexpectedly nudged him. “I don’t know about that. I prefer things to be wholly dependent on strategy. But I’ve gained an appreciation for your unorthodox style.”

He punctuated that with a toe jab replicating the one Jonouchi had given him, glad now that the table was rather small. When he’d initially sat at it, he’d worried that the proximity would make things uncomfortable. Now he wasn’t completely sure why he’d been so worried at all. Jonouchi certainly seemed prepared to leave their argument behind. But before he could relax, he had a rising suspicion that Jonouchi might just be avoiding the topic for the sake of glancing over the deeper, underlying issue.

“Good.” Jonouchi was beaming at that answer. “I always appreciated your dueling, even when you were a jerk. Having a completely strategic deck just wasn’t possible when I was dirt poor, though. I had to work with what I could get.”

“It proves that your success was based more on skill than luck, though. There are plenty of players who buy individual cards to build a deck to what should be a perfect formula, but they fail miserably because they don’t have the skill to hold their own,” Kaiba huffed. He was less than pleased with that kind of behavior. Snobby as he’d been about Jonouchi in the past, now he could give him credit for being sincere, at the very least. And despite his often idiotic behavior, he was extremely clever.

Kaiba was unable to stop himself from smiling slightly and chuckling when he remembered the night he’d returned to the bar after meeting Jonouchi again the day prior, and ended up with a rum and coke soiling his pants. It had been a smaller-scale, but prime example of his habit of underestimating just how smart Jonouchi actually was. He realized he’d gotten lost in his thoughts when he looked back at Jonouchi, who was watching him. Kaiba stared back, unsure of how to explain himself. It may not be a good idea to mention that particular incident.

“What are you thinking about, Kaiba?”

“You,” Kaiba replied bluntly, though he was still remaining cryptic. He wondered, fleetingly, if that would make Jonouchi uncomfortable, but he’d already said it.

“Yeah, okay,” laughed Jonouchi nervously, “what about me exactly?”

The food arrived. A giant platter of hot, steaming beans, rice, and a giant flour burrito was placed in front of Jonouchi while a small glass of tequila and a medium sized plate with three tacos and some rice was set for Kaiba. Jonouchi immediately started on it, not delaying for Kaiba’s answer. Kaiba observed his plate, actively keeping the disapproval off his face. There was nothing wrong with the tacos--at the very least, he could say they were relatively neat. But they looked like a hodgepodge of ingredients to him. His stomach would probably agree.

But, they smelled like food, and not grease with salt and cumin dumped in it, so Kaiba picked one up from the plate. He could feel Jonouchi’s eyes on him, as if he was in suspense. Kaiba observed the taco as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to eat it without making a mess.

“Eat it, Kaiba.”

Kaiba made a face at Jonouchi, though he was mainly being facetious. He planned to hold true to what he’d said. He took a bite out of the taco he was holding and was immediately struck by how strong the flavors were, but he could tell already that they were at least well balanced. He was annoyed when the corn tortilla started to break in places where he wanted it to stay whole, but he’d already managed to neatly take off part of it, so it didn’t matter much. He quietly chewed what he’d bitten, formulating an opinion as he did. He deliberately looked at his plate, knowing that Jonouchi was less-than-patiently waiting for a verdict. He knew he shouldn’t be, but he was having a little fun making him squirm.

“It’s not that bad,” Jonouchi finally said, too impatient to wait for Kaiba to speak first, “It’s just beef, cilantro, cheese, onion, and the tortilla. Nothing about it is that crazy or wild.”

Jonouchi’s burrito, on the other hand...

“You enjoy being difficult.”

“Me? Of course not,” Kaiba replied with false innocence. “But you’re right. There’s nothing wrong with it. You chose something decent, even if it is foreign.”

He paused and watched Jonouchi dig in to his own food, evidently no longer troubled over Kaiba’s opinion now that he’d said it was acceptable. It was a bit funny that Jonouchi wanted so badly for him to be pleased. It wasn’t his responsibility if the food wasn’t to Kaiba’s tastes. He had a fleeting and unwanted thought that it might be a sign that Jonouchi thought more of him than he’d been letting on, but he didn’t allow that to color his perception. He knew better than to give in to desperate hopes.

Remembering the past days he’d spent in distress over the whole mess, Kaiba sobered and grew contemplative. He was glad that Jonouchi had wanted to see him, but that provided no resolution to anything. Ultimately, he wasn’t in any better a state than he’d been before they sat down to dinner together, but he was getting distracted by Jonouchi’s presence. It was a welcome change from his absence. Kaiba had been less than happy when he was unable to find Jonouchi. He could only assume that Jonouchi had been trying his damndest to avoid him.

He looked at Jonouchi, who hadn’t paused even to catch his breath, and was still mowing through his food. He seemed to sense Kaiba’s gaze and glanced at him curiously, teeth half-sunk into another chunk of burrito. Kaiba cleared his throat and looked at his plate. He wasn’t sure if he should bring up what was on his mind, but at the same time, he knew that if he didn’t, he’d only get more moody as the night wore on. That wouldn’t make things any better between them.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed hesitantly, “A few days ago, I went to the bar to find you.”

He paused and watched Jonouchi for a reaction, but he seemed mainly surprised--and confused. Most likely, he didn’t understand the significance of Kaiba mentioning it yet. Kaiba hummed.

“You weren’t there,” he stated. Jonouchi should know that, of course, but hopefully from that he’d be able to infer that not being able to find him had been upsetting.

“I had other plans,” Jonouchi began with a stammer, “I got asked out on date by this guy who’s bike I fixed. I didn’t plan on really going, but he was adamant and we were fighting, so I didn’t think you’d be there waiting for me, anyways.

“If it makes you feel any better, it didn’t go too hot.”

“I don’t imagine so, if you didn’t want to go in the first place,” Kaiba replied, trying to keep his tone neutral. He knew he was far from pleased to hear that, but he was trying to keep it at bay. He didn’t have a right to be upset about it. He knew he and Jonouchi didn’t have anything exclusive going on in that arena.

But the thought still made him angry.

“I’m not happy that you had a bad experience,” he added, “You can do what you like. I suppose I should have assumed first that you were with someone, but at the time I thought it more likely that you were taking measures to avoid me.”

That was a slight lie. If anything, he’d thought the possibilities were equally likely, but the former was one he tried to chase from his mind at every opportunity.

“We may not see eye to eye on certain things, but I still consider us friends,” Jonouchi remarked, “and I know you do, too. I wasn’t trying to blow you off. If you would have asked for my company, I would have came to hang out with you. I didn’t think you wanted me around.”

Jonouchi’s eating slow downed significantly. He was either losing steam from feeling full (which was a miracle), or he was thinking too hard to shovel as quickly as before. His eyes were downcast, and he appeared thoughtful, playing with his food a little before finally taking a fork full of food into his mouth.

“I can’t think of a time since we met again that I didn’t want you around,” Kaiba stated before he could stop himself. That might not have been what Jonouchi wanted to hear. But it was true. “I like being with you.”

“Then why are you so damn difficult?” asked Jonouchi pleadingly, “It doesn’t need to be.”

“I--” Kaiba began before stopping short, jaw slack as he tried to interpret the intention of that question. “I don’t want it to be difficult. But that’s the way it is.”

Jonouchi frowned. He didn’t seem won over with the answer, but he stopped asking anymore questions, turning his eyes down back towards his half-finished plate.

“I see.”

Chapter Text

Kaiba had been sitting in a comfortable upholstered chair in his living room for more time than was decently spent doing nothing. He nudged himself mentally every few minutes, trying to spur himself to go do something useful, but couldn’t incite a real urge. Instead, he continued sitting, leaning back with his legs outstretched and ankles crossed as he stared at the cellphone he flipped over continually in one hand.

He didn’t know what he was expecting--truly, he didn’t. He was so perplexed that he could barely brood, and had spend the better part of the last hour selecting different objects in the room to stare at absently. His brain was quieter than it had been for longer than he could recall, but it wasn’t the relief he would have expected. He felt like he was in limbo, unable to interact properly with his own mind.

He and Jonouchi had neither spoken to, nor seen one another since they ate together at the taco shop. It had only been two days, but compared to how things were before they fought, that was a long period of silence. It felt especially so due to how they had parted after dinner. Things had been far from resolved, even if the anger from their minor fallout was dissipated. Kaiba hadn’t known what to say or think. Jonouchi had talked almost as if there was something between them, yet he knew that couldn’t be true. He hoped it was, but it wasn’t.

But Jonouchi had seemed upset, and Kaiba was unable to find the words that were evidently required to appease him, so they had parted uncomfortably; Kaiba perplexed, and Jonouchi downtrodden and sulky.

Kaiba stirred himself enough to reach for the small glass he’d set on the nightstand beside his chair. It was full of what he considered his “emergency” drink, or important celebration drink, depending. Talisker single malt on the rocks. It wasn’t especially complicated, as drinks went, but it was rightly expensive. He sipped it in larger increments than he usually did hard drinks because he was having that kind of night. Luckily for him, the scotch was smoother than water. It still felt hot going down his throat, though, which made him frown slightly as he set the glass back on its coaster.

He sighed. Normally he’d at least appreciate alcohol enough for his mood to be lifted--slightly. But his upset when dealing with Jonouchi had been special from the start. Drinking only seemed to make him feel worse about it, and remove the mental faculties required to compartmentalize the worst of his mood away. All he got out of it was wasted whiskey and one hell of a hangover.

His frown deepened as he recalled the night he’d gone to the bar, looking for Jonouchi, only for him to be missing. Jonouchi had said in the restaurant that he’d hooked up with someone because they were fighting. That reasoning struck Kaiba as odd. Why did he explain it that way? Like he was cruising for someone else only because they weren’t speaking? He made it sound as if he was trying to maintain some kind of fidelity. Kaiba squelched the upsetting flicker of hope that stirred in him. Jonouchi had probably been trying to explain his reasoning in the hope that Kaiba wouldn’t be angry. Why would he be exclusive with him, physically, except when their friendship was in jeopardy?

It bordered behavior he’d expect from a real relationship, but he knew better than that. Jonouchi wanted to be friends, and he was happy to get his kicks from Kaiba when he could. Kaiba refused to let himself read any more into the situation when he knew there wasn’t. God only knew what he might trick himself into thinking. He had no intention of making things even worse by confronting Jonouchi with feelings. Jonouchi only did things casually. Anyone he thought was potentially fun to hook up with was fair game to him, and when it was over he went home. No strings attached.

Kaiba didn’t want to lose him completely by being complicated.

Even as he thought that, he knew he continually struggled with wanting more than just friendship or occasional fooling around. He’d been possessive of Jonouchi for quite some time, even though he hadn’t done so much as express that he might like him more than as a casual companion. He hadn’t even really imparted to Jonouchi how important he was as a friend, much less as the lover Kaiba wished he could be.

He grumbled and shifted in his seat, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair so he could support his head with his hand. He felt a wave of guilt and frustration. Did he really have any right to feel that way about Jonouchi? There had never been any false pretenses about what they were doing, and Jonouchi hadn’t indicated an interest in more than what they had. Kaiba wasn’t sure he had a right to be so upset. He claimed to be just a friend, and knew he couldn’t be more, so he wasn’t in a position to want Jonouchi dedicated to him. A rational person would probably have moved on by now.

But he couldn’t. He frequently thought with disgust that it was pathetic for him to have never felt this way about anyone before. He’d never felt so intimate about someone. Because it was so unique and so isolated an occurrence, he doubted it would happen again. He didn’t have a habit of letting people in. It wasn’t the best way to make friends, much less find romance, but that was the way he was. In fairness, no one had inspired him to pursue more than passing acknowledgement before Jonouchi, either. He couldn’t quite explain to himself what exactly had made him want to come back again when he first found Jonouchi in that bar. He could only assume it was the same thing that made everyone Jonouchi met want to be around him. And with him. Often physically.

Kaiba’s jaw clenched momentarily at that thought. He knew he shouldn’t get hung up about that. He was the one who had denied any deeper feelings when Jonouchi directly asked him about it. Because he was a coward, for once in his life. He’d been wondering ever since if he’d made a serious mistake. He didn’t want to hope, but at the same time wondered if Jonouchi had asked because he was wanting Kaiba to express further interest. He’d certainly been upset when he accused him (accurately) of lying and stormed out.

The not knowing was driving him crazy. He couldn’t assume anything with Jonouchi anymore, not with certainty. Then again, when could he ever? Hadn’t he gotten interested in him in the first place because he was unpredictable? That was clearly backfiring on him now. The turmoil was getting unbearable for his nerves, and he considered himself to be of significant fortitude where that was concerned.

It may have been because of his fast-wearing nerves that he jumped a bit violently when the doorbell rang. He couldn’t imagine who it was--Mokuba always alerted him before he came over, and there was no one else who could possibly need his attention. He stood, striding briskly across his apartment to the front door. He probably should have just ignored it--he didn’t want to be bothered, and he had every intention of telling whoever was there to fuck right off. But it was better to spend a few seconds on that than stay in his seat and be repeatedly disturbed by the doorbell.

He unlocked the deadbolt and handle of the door, then pulled it open quickly, already scowling and prepared to ruin someone’s night. His expression immediately fell into shock when the person on the other side was Jonouchi.

They just stood staring at each other for a few seconds. Jonouchi’s eyes didn’t trail off; his hazel gaze were unwavering and Kaiba could feel himself shrinking before he finally snapped out of his confusion.

“Can I come in?” asked Jonouchi. His clothes looked slightly disheveled and his jacket appeared moist, like it had been raining outside. Damp hair was matted against his forehead.

“I...don’t see why you shouldn’t,” Kaiba replied, though he trailed off into a mutter by the end of the statement. He couldn’t determine Jonouchi’s motives for being there in the first place, and the fact that he’d actually come to Kaiba’s residence was such a curve ball that he believed almost anything could happen.

Yes, Kaiba had brought him over before to where he lived. But Kaiba never expected Jonouchi to show up unannounced. It wasn’t apart of their culture to do that...

“I got caught in the rain.”

Once Kaiba backed away from the door, Jonouchi came in quietly, almost cautiously, like he was afraid that someone would see him enter. His wide eyes looked around, peering at the vast living space before he closed the door behind him, setting the lock before taking off his shoes.

Jonouchi was quiet, almost like he was being... timid. It was a strange development.

“Why are you here?” Kaiba asked, hoping his tone didn’t sound disapproving. Shocked as he was, he didn’t want to make Jonouchi stomp right back out. He noticed that it was slightly difficult for him to focus. The alcohol was having an effect, but he was grateful for that. It would make him aloof enough not to do something stupid. Hopefully.

Jonouchi moved closer to him. He didn’t speak, but his eyes spoke louder than words. They never left Kaiba’s, and he came close enough that Kaiba could smell the faint bitterness of Kirin on his breath, the thought forming in his mind that Jonouchi had probably been at the bar earlier that night... waiting for him to appear.

He felt unsure of what to do, just standing there as his heart went off like a beating drum in his rib cage, making him feel like disappearing and running and screaming and wanting to die all at once. It didn’t help when Jonouchi’s hand fell on his face, and his fingers touched his hair, and before Kaiba knew it, he was being pulled into a kiss.

It wasn’t a tentative action. Kaiba had to adjust his footing to avoid losing balance when Jonouchi leaned heavily into him, simultaneously pulling his head closer with a hand placed firmly on the back of his neck.

The force of the kiss made his breath short, along with Jonouchi’s. But when he broke away momentarily to catch his breath, Jonouchi captured him again before he could gather his thoughts. Kaiba blinked his eyes open and rested his hands on Jonouchi’s shoulders, but didn’t push him away as he’d thought his original intention had been. He was bewildered by the sudden, impassioned behavior, but each millisecond that passed made him care less about his confusion and more about how it felt.

Kaiba’s eyes fell shut again when Jonouchi tightened his grip, his free hand taking hold of Kaiba’s shirt aggressively. He compliantly let Jonouchi lead as the last of his desire for an explanation slipped away; when that was gone it was as if some kind of epiphany occurred in him. Something switched on--or off--in his brain, and suddenly all he cared about was getting closer to Jonouchi. He got a firmer grip on him, which made him gasp and break the kiss, but this time it was Kaiba who resumed it.

He led their timing, and Jonouchi seemed wholly willing to let him. He also didn’t complain when Kaiba determinedly pushed him back, making him walk unsteadily toward the couch. It wasn’t a long way to go, but Kaiba felt such urgency that even the few seconds it would have taken were long enough to make him aggressive.

He shifted his hands to Jonouchi’s waist on one side, and his hip on the other, and pulled away from their kiss so he could focus on hastily lifting him up. Jonouchi released a surprised noise, but didn’t complain; he looped his arms around Kaiba’s neck, wrapping his legs around him, making himself easier to carry. Due to his rushing, Kaiba practically fell into the couch when he dropped Jonouchi on the cushions.

Immediately, he turned so one knee was digging into the couch and he was facing Jonouchi--or, more accurately, targeting Jonouchi’s clothes. He was surprised at the coordination he maintained as he slipped off Jonouchi’s leather varsity jacket and pulled up on the hem of his shirt, working to tug it off of his head. Jonouchi caught on quickly and raised his arms to expedite the process.

Kaiba was fleetingly astonished at his own lack of hesitation; he wasted no time popping open the button at the top of Jonouchi’s jeans, leaning down to kiss him again as he did. He hadn’t wanted to stop in the first place, but it made it difficult to multitask, and he was determined to get Jonouchi stripped down as soon as possible. It was easy enough getting the fly of his jeans open, and after that Kaiba tugged them down his hips with such persistence that it was nearly violent.

Jonouchi didn’t complain--he did what little maneuvering was necessary to get his pants off faster. Kaiba tossed them away and thought no more about them.

He paused when he felt hands in his hair again. Jonouchi was pressing up against him, his bare chest against Kaiba’s thin long sleeved shirt. Kaiba thought he could feel his heart beating against him, but he was sure it was just all in his head, from the excitement.

“I want you so bad,” Jonouchi whispered into his ear before briefly tugging on his earlobe with his teeth, “I don’t want to do this on your couch. Take me to your bedroom.”

He pulled back, looking Kaiba in the eyes for an answer. His hair was a mess. Hazel eyes were flecked with gold; Kaiba could have sworn his eyes looked like fire.

He wasn’t about to decline. He got a better grip on Jonouchi than he’d had prior, and was no less quick getting him to bed than he had been shoving him down on the couch. This time, when Jonouchi’s back hit the surface, Kaiba came down directly on top of him, lips locking. Jonouchi seemed like he was trying to wrap himself around him; his arms were wrapped tightly around his shoulders, his ankles hooked behind his back. The result was immobilizing--he wouldn’t be able to raise himself anytime soon. But he didn’t want to. The only place he really cared to be at present was between Jonouchi’s thighs, and Jonouchi was accommodating.

Kaiba felt his frenzy ease for a short few seconds as they kissed, pressed together as closely as possible. This time, when they stopped to breathe, something about it felt conclusive. Kaiba opened his eyes and looked down at Jonouchi, who was gazing back through his lashes. Neither of them said anything, nor did Kaiba think they were inclined to do so. The moment passed when Jonouchi eased his grip, which Kaiba took as an indication that he wanted to continue, and that re-ignited his overpowering need.

Kaiba righted himself enough to pull off the shirt he was wearing with less care than he had ever treated his own clothing in his life. In a rational state, he would have been horrified at himself for throwing anything that expensive to the floor, but right now he was only satisfied with the fact that it was one less thing keeping his and Jonouchi’s skin apart.

Maybe Jonouchi felt the same way--while Kaiba worked on getting rid of his pants, his hands curiously, but confidently explored his torso. First it was just fingertips against his pectoral muscles, but then they slid down to his abdomen, rubbing his taut stomach before grasping his sides above the low top of his pants. He resisted shuddering from surprise and, admittedly, sensation when Jonouchi lightly ran his fingers up his sides and down again, as if trying to trace his silhouette.

Kaiba had paused with his pants undone and halfway down his hips while Jonouchi touched him. It felt good. It was something more than just getting pleasure. It was a kind of attention that Kaiba hadn’t experienced before, and despite his ultimate goal of sex, he felt sated in another way by that. Jonouchi seemed to decide he was finished dawdling, though, because when his hands got back to Kaiba’s waist, and then his hips, his fingers got a firm hold on his pants and yanked at them with much the same sentiment as Kaiba had done to him on the couch.

Jonouchi got himself under the covers, looking up as he appeared to be taking off his underwear underneath. He shifted, waiting for Kaiba to join him before opening his legs wide enough to give him room to fit. With the space clear, Kaiba wasted no time positioning himself there, supporting himself with one hand flat against the bed. He sighed in a strange kind of relief when their bare skin finally connected, and started grinding hard against Jonouchi without really thinking about it. Jonouchi gasped, his eyes falling shut and his hands coming to rest on Kaiba’s hips, absently pulling him in.

Kaiba stopped momentarily so he could get into a slightly more upright position that would let him maintain balance while he was using one hand. He got a firm grip on Jonouchi’s shaft, which by this time was so engorged it was starting to pulse, and he made quick, firm strokes. Jonouchi released a low, shuddering sound as he arched his back and dug his heels into the bed. He pressed his thighs hard against Kaiba’s hips, and started bucking up in time with the stroking.

Kaiba ground himself into Jonouchi’s body as well as he was able, feeling crackles of sensation throughout his abdomen sporadically when he did. Most of his attention was focused on Jonouchi, though, which was rewarding in itself for the visual of his cheeks turning pink, his lips darkened from kissing and parted slightly as he heaved erratic breaths. It was only a few seconds more before he felt telltale twitching from Jonouchi’s erection, and when Jonouchi sucked in a breath, Kaiba bent to capture his open lips in a kiss.

It was sloppier than before, mainly because they were both flustered and panting, trying to maintain the connection while frantically pushing toward orgasm. But it was still stimulating, more so when Jonouchi wrapped his arms around Kaiba’s neck in a nearly desperate fashion, clinging to him as if he was in danger of floating away. Kaiba didn’t relent, and had stopped grinding to concentrate on making Jonouchi climax.

Only a few more seconds passed before Jonouchi gasped for air, arching and bucking as he climaxed, one hand tugging less than delicately on Kaiba’s hair. His grip only eased after he had ejaculated and exhaled a long sigh, settling back onto the bed as his body went limp. One of his hands fell to the mattress, but the other lazily rubbed Kaiba’s shoulder in post-coital approval. Kaiba kissed him again, but more gently, and in a more controlled way.

When Jonouchi’s breathing was heavy, but even, and he was starting to recover, Kaiba grabbed his hips and turned him over determinedly. Jonouchi hummed questioningly, but did nothing to stop him. He did turn his head, however, and Kaiba looked back at him as he unabashedly ran his hands over his ass.

“Don’t freak out,” he smirked slightly, unable to stop himself from feeling amused. “I wouldn’t do that without asking you.”

Jonouchi relaxed, but still seemed curious as to what Kaiba was planning. His unvoiced question was answered when Kaiba started rubbing his erection against his buttocks, first experimentally, then progressively harder when he figured out the best motion. He maintained a firm grip on Jonouchi’s rear as he went, and even though he didn’t do or say anything in protest, Jonouchi was evidently embarrassed--Kaiba could barely see his blushing face against the pillow, but even his ears were turning red by the time Kaiba was getting close to his peak. It was understandable. He couldn’t say he wouldn’t be embarrassed too, in the same situation. But he had to admit he got a little thrill out of making Jonouchi blush.

His minor feelings of self-satisfaction were forgotten when he hit his climax, and all his concentration was on his orgasm. He released a shuddering breath when he ejaculated, and continued to slowly rub himself against Jonouchi as the last drops of fluid left him. When his head cleared and he opened his eyes enough to see, he was greeted by the image of Jonouchi’s broad, attractive back decorated by a spattering of his semen. Kaiba resisted an unexpected, giddy urge to laugh and ran his hands over Jonouchi’s shoulders instead as he bent to plant soft kisses on his neck. Jonouchi grumbled at him, probably still embarrassed, but he wasn’t trying to slap him in the face at least.

“Like ass much?” he asked in a tiny voice. This time Kaiba couldn’t stop himself from laughing, though he was doing so partly at himself.

“I love it,” he replied shamelessly, giving Jonouchi’s a squeeze to the hip that made him jump. “Yours in particular.”

Jonouchi huffed, his face turning an unflattering yet still amusing shade of red as he hid his face into the pillow again. His ears were still burning, his hair thoroughly ruffled. Shoulders rolled as he relaxed, and he didn’t seem like he was going to get up anytime soon, despite being messy now that Kaiba had jacked off on him.

Kaiba left the bed without speaking and went about the task of getting a clean washcloth. He washed away what sticky residue that was left on his hand and abdomen, then rinsed the cloth again and returned to the bedroom to clean Jonouchi’s back. Jonouchi saw him approaching, and likely knew what he was planning to do, but he didn’t say anything about it. He also didn’t offer thanks when Kaiba cleaned him up, but that was fair. Kaiba had made the mess, after all.

He realized that he simply didn’t care to return the washcloth to the bathroom, so he chucked it through the doorway instead so it could wait on the tile floor until morning. Then he lay on his side facing Jonouchi, sighing comfortably as his body relaxed and he felt like he was melting into the bed. He looked at Jonouchi, who had his eyes shut, though whether it was to sleep or to avoid eye contact, he wasn’t sure.

Whichever it was, Jonouchi looked at him when he reached out on an impulse to idly play with a lock of his soft blond hair. Kaiba stared at the lock he was loosely twirling around his finger, but met Jonouchi’s gaze after he’d stopped and smoothed it back into place. He analyzed Jonouchi’s hazel eyes, which were darkened by heavy lids and dilated pupils. Neither of them said anything, and Kaiba concluded that nothing needed saying. And if it did, it wouldn’t do any good at this point.

After Kaiba broke their silent stare, he turned enough to reach the lamp on the bedside table, and touched the base to shut it off. When he settled back in, his wrist was pressing against Jonouchi’s elbow. He was half expecting Jonouchi to move away, but he didn’t. Kaiba thought maybe he’d fallen asleep, and that was why, but then Jonouchi shifted his head on his pillow. Kaiba wasn’t sure what to make of it, but decided he didn’t really care. Not after such a good night together.

SIX MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba came to the bar fairly often. It was the only thing to do during his off time. His brother was still in Japan, running things at the main headquarters in Domino City, and while he was managing things, Isono stayed behind to be of service. There was no one else in Kaiba’s life that he paid any kind of personal attention to, and Kaiba told himself often that it was better that way.

But it was rather lonely at times. He never heard his own language spoken, outside of business. His small Japanese team was still with him, loyal enough to follow into foreign territory with their families being brought along, but they were not Kaiba’s equals. He didn’t see them for anything besides employees and business associates, and Kaiba Corporation was where their relationships began and ended.

No, Kaiba was utterly alone. It bothered him that it bothered him, but it couldn’t be helped. The city was nothing like what he was used to in Domino. The sights and signs were all strange, and so were the ridiculously large vehicles, buildings, and people. Everything was taking up unnecessary space and every single human being had a car for some reason. He didn’t understand why people needed to be so damn loud about everything, and it irritated him on a daily basis how Americans had no problem trying to run him over on the street or shoulder checking him on the sidewalk.

It was just a blessing to hear his own language spoken. The familiar softness and calm, something he hadn’t appreciated before leaving home. Kaiba had spent so much time perfecting his English, despite having always spoken it, to some degree, that when it came time to use it regularly, he felt ready to throw up. The Americans never seemed to understand what he was telling them, clear or not. They just stared at him like cattle sometimes, their big eyes wide and dumb before finally one of them would ask for some kind of clarification.

Going to Little Tokyo was the only kind of break Kaiba had to look forward to. It wasn’t perfect, though. Places like Uwajimaya kept is homesickness at bay, but still. There was only so much coping Kaiba was able to do, and with a fourteen hour time difference between himself and his brother, it wasn’t easy to talk about.

Kaiba could at least relax in the little Izakaya that he was beginning to frequent. There were red paper lanterns that hung up front and the owner was from the Shinjuku district of Tokyo. He was silent and just gave out his drinks with minimal verbiage and Kaiba liked it that way. In the back hiding in the darkness of his table, he could think. He could pretend he was back at home.

He frequently drank glasses of sake with a plate of yakitori and edamame. It was simple and quick, and after a while, the owner began just serving it to him without even being asked.

Jonouchi seemed to come in every other night. Usually he came with a group of other people, most seemingly Asian, but a few Americans as well. They’d drink a few beers, talking loudly at the booth in greasy clothing (Kaiba could only assume it was from the garage) before disappearing en mass to cause havoc elsewhere.

Predictably, Jonouchi didn’t look happy to see Kaiba around. But unpredictably, he never said a word to him. He went along as if he wasn’t even there; their eyes barely ever locked despite the fact that Kaiba was thoroughly watching him.

Kaiba could not lie and say Jonouchi wasn’t interesting to watch. He had an energy around him that seemed to attract other people to him. While most of the other patrons at the bar were quiet and drank alone, Jonouchi always seemed to come with some sort of audience. Usually it was a girl, but on a few occasions, it would be a guy. They would look at each other in a particular way that Kaiba knew was more than friendly, and it made his skin prickle.

Wasn’t he too old for that kind of nonsense? They were adult men. Curiosity was fine as a young developing boy, but people grew out of that kind of stuff. Sure, America was more tolerant of it than their homeland, but it was strange to watch Jonouchi just flaunt himself around everyone without a care. He hadn’t been so forward back at home.

Equally strange, no one seemed to care. Kaiba wouldn’t have, if Jonouchi would have been more discreet, but he didn’t seem to care about indiscretion.

He could be so loud sometimes. It would be quiet, just the sounds of low voices being spoken quietly and drinks being sipped when Jonouchi’s loud sharp voice would break through, sometimes in obnoxious English that didn’t make sense in his drunkenness, laughter piercing the room while no one else spoke a word.

On occasion, someone would just turn their head and look, but they didn’t get mad. It just would continue on while the bartender continued pouring Jonouchi drinks. How could anyone just sit there and listen to him prattle on? He often went in and out of Japanese and English, which just made it worse. The sounds of his meaningless conversations gave Kaiba a headache. Sure, it was in their culture to excuse the behavior of drunks, but Jonouchi was extreme.

He was an obnoxious drunk. And a dedicated one too, at that. Kaiba wondered more than once where the money came from to drink as much as Jonouchi did.

Kaiba was on his second week there, watching in silence, when Jonouchi finally appeared alone. He had no posee with him, and he took a seat at the bar counter, drinking his usual Kirin beer privately as he just looked around and smiled at everyone in the place.

As usual, his face turned into a scowl when he saw Kaiba. Kaiba just bristled; he wouldn’t give the idiot the satisfaction of showing any more reaction than that. It wasn’t in his nature to show much emotion, and Kaiba prefered appearing aloof as much as possible.

It was rather boring, how Jonouchi acted, until a strange individual came stalking through the front door. He had a rather stressed expression on his face, and he came striding straight to Jonouchi before taking the seat next to him and shaking him by the shoulder.

Unsurprisingly, Jonouchi appeared to take offense. He made some kind of remark, his eyebrows tight and furrowed before he shoved the guy back and took an angry sip out of his beer.

The stranger didn’t take a hint. He just began at Jonouchi again, shaking him as Jonouchi tried to shrug him off. It was rather troubling to watch; Jonouchi was clearly drunk and the man accosting him was not.

“Look, I’m not fucking interested, so leave me alone,” barked Jonouchi. His voice was rising. Kaiba’s eyebrows raised up, his interest piqued. Maybe this guy would end up with wet pants, too.

“I don’t care if you’re not interested,” the guy bit back, “You owe me.”

“I don’t owe you shit, you piece of fucking garbage!” The rest of Jonouchi’s angry insults continued in Japanese, Kaiba just blankly watching as the rest of the bar did, not commenting but clearly catching every word. They appeared uneasy as the man didn’t take a hint, and for some reason, Kaiba felt his body lift up before he left his table, approaching where Jonouchi sat before reaching out and grabbing the stranger by the shoulder.

“Look,” Kaiba cut in, “I don’t know if you’re deaf or just stupid, but Jonouchi already told you he wasn’t going with you. Either leave with some dignity, or things will get ugly.”

The man blinked as Kaiba pressed his nails into his shoulder, his grip strengthening until the guy finally tried breaking away from him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, pal,” the guy spat, “you want him, fine! He’ll just drop you like he does everyone else.”

“Go suck a fat one, you piece of shit,” shot Jonouchi in a drunken slur of words, some not quite intelligible, “You’re not welcome here anymore!”

The man finally got up and stalked away after giving out a rather rude gesture. Kaiba wasn’t sure if was towards him or Jonouchi, but it didn’t matter.

He turned and looked at Jonouchi. As predicted, he turned back to his small gathering of beers, picking one up and downing it before scratching his head. Kaiba just scoffed. At least it was quiet again. Walking back to his corner of the world, he turned back to his small meal; it was late and soon he’d need to call a cab to get back to his hotel room.

One of these days he’d have to get an apartment. But that would also mean accepting the move.

Maybe he’d have one more drink before leaving.

Chapter Text

Kaiba returned to the bar the following evening. He was certain by this time that Jonouchi would be there whenever he showed up, so it was no surprise to see him sitting at the counter as usual. What did come as a surprise was the fact that Jonouchi was quite happy to see him and behaved in a very friendly manner. Kaiba accepted that gracefully and chose a seat beside Jonouchi.

“So, what do you want to drink,” Jonouchi offered with a grin, “I promise I won’t drop it on your pants this time.”

“The fact that you have to assure me of something like that is probably a bad sign,” Kaiba remarked dryly, “But I’ll let you choose. You come here enough to know what’s the best on offer.”

Jonouchi smiled. “Kirin it is.”

The bartender arrived with two, uncapping them both before Jonouchi dished one out in front of Kaiba’s seat.

“What exactly are you doing on this side of the world, anyways? I knew you went to America, but I didn’t think you’d actually come following after me,” joked Jonouchi as he took a sizable gulp.

“Aside from running my business?” Kaiba snorted, wondering if Jonouchi completely understood that such a demanding position required his presence on-site. “Now that the company has expanded here, and is rapidly growing, it’s best that I’m here. Kaiba Corporation is well-established in Japan, but KC US still needs my personal attention to flourish.”

“Your personal attention?” Jonouchi cocked his head to the side, appearing somewhat thoughtful. “What exactly does that entail?”

“I have to be here, for starters,” Kaiba grimaced before making his expression ease into a more neutral one. “It’s much easier to get things done with the Americans when I’m in their country on a daily basis, and can see them in person. It also means I don’t end up flying here after six months of trying to let the place run without me, only to discover that there’s a massive crisis underway, the staff are in total disarray, and whoever is in charge has embezzled money and fled.”

He was exaggerating--slightly. He was too much of a micromanager to let anything that extreme happen, even from across the ocean. But more than once he’d noticed a decline in productivity that was a result of American hiring tactics, or cash mysteriously missing that no one thought it pertinent to report. Assuming the accountants noticed at all.

“If it’s that difficult, why bother at all?” Jonouchi snorted as he continued drinking from his beer bottle. “You already have your fortune, your fancy properties, and a thriving corporation back at home. If an American branch is such a hassle, maybe it’s not even worth bothering with.

“Then you could go back home and look less miserable hanging around my bar,” laughed Jonouchi.

“Hmm,” Kaiba sighed dismissively, though he had to admit Jonouchi wasn’t wrong about him looking miserable. How would he even answer that? He’d sound like a fool and a martyr if he made up a reason like saying it was what he was supposed to do.

After a few seconds of silence, Kaiba looked at Jonouchi, who was watching him expectantly; he was waiting for an answer still. Kaiba sighed again, though this time he wasn’t sure why.

“Kaiba Corporation is mine,” he stated. Jonouchi looked almost insulted by this reiteration of the obvious, but Kaiba continued. “I broke it down, and then I re-built it on my own. The reason I wanted to make a game company is because that’s what I was interested in, and that’s something that was important to me and Mokuba.”

He paused and looked at his beer, which was beginning to sweat. He grasped it with one hand and tapped his thumb against the glass, but didn’t take a drink.

“We decided when we were children that we wanted to build an amusement park,” he explained, his voice very low and quiet. He didn’t want anyone else to overhear, even though they likely wouldn’t know what he was talking about. It was a very personal memory. He wasn’t totally sure why he was telling Jonouchi in the first place, but somehow it felt easy to do. “Japan doesn’t really allow for something of the type and scale of our vision, so the obvious course of action for both making a profit and achieving our goal was to set up in America.”

He took a drink from his beer at last, leaning forward on the counter and staring absently toward the other side of the bar.

“For someone living a dream come true, you look absolutely awful,” Jonouchi expressed with a slight frown. “It’s not home, but it’s not terrible here. The food is more unique and there’s so many cool people here you’d never find back in Japan. I’m sure it’s hard without Mokuba, but besides this place, do you ever try going out much?”

“Not really,” Kaiba replied, shrugging. “You’re not wrong about the...diversity, but this place doesn’t have much tourist appeal for me. I like Japan. I want things to be like Japan. I’m having trouble accepting the change, and even when I do, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be happy about it.”

“You’re such a sour person, Kaiba,” spoke Jonouchi as he rolled his eyes. “You liked Japan because you were on top of the social hierarchy and no one could touch you. Here, no one gives a shit. Aren’t I right?” Jonouchi smiled but Kaiba didn’t. “You can’t have your way all the time, and I’m sure it’s hard for guy like you who is used to things being a certain way having to finally adjust to the rest of the world.

“I for one, love it. I get to be myself, without the stupid, scrutinizing looks.”

“Be yourself?” Kaiba raised an eyebrow, his mood lifted slightly by curiosity. An opportunity to find out what Jonouchi thought of his own behavior was not one he wanted to pass up. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you know,” Jonouchi explained without explaining anything. “I like it here. I can breathe here. Japan is home, but Japan was getting stale.”

“Hmm,” Kaiba took another sip of his drink as he mulled that over. “Maybe if I’d felt Japan was “stale”, I would have the same opinion. But what you call stale, I see as consistency and familiarity. Things are too different here for me--at least to live around. Visiting is one thing, but unlike you I don’t fit in better living among Americans.”

“How hard have you really tried to?” asked Jonouchi gently.

That gave Kaiba pause. He glanced briefly at Jonouchi, but quickly settled his gaze on the neck of his beer bottle. It had been a perceptive question, if nothing else. And a revealing one, given how it made him squirm.

“Not very,” he admitted in a grumble, “But I’m sure you guessed as much. I have little desire to accept the transition. That might be pig-headed, but…”

He trailed off. He didn’t have a good reason for refusing to assimilate, aside from simple stubbornness and pride. He was a Japanese, and he was vehemently against accommodating American sensibilities for their comfort. But he was a businessman, and he knew well enough that even if he didn’t really care about becoming American, being relatable to them was advantageous.

“You can’t except to like living here, hell, maybe even enjoying it if you don’t even try,” laughed Jonouchi. He rolled his eyes as if Kaiba had said something silly. “No one’s looking to snatch your nationality away. I’m sure you’ll never get rid of it.

“But you should try having fun. Maybe if you did, you’d find yourself accidentally having some,” winked Jonouchi with a smirk.

“Have you forgotten me again?” Kaiba scoffed, smirking slightly, though it was mainly in humor at himself. “I wasn’t especially good at having fun when I lived in Japan. Why would I have gained the ability now?”

“Fresh start, fresh you?” Jonouchi broke into a fit of laughter before grabbing at his beer bottle, taking another swing and waving the bartender for more. “Most people try changing when they come to a new place. I forgot that you like being the special ‘exception’.”

“Me? Change? I don’t understand the joke,” Kaiba said, though he was snickering outright now. Then he sobered thoughtfully. “Then again, I suppose it must be possible, even if it’s like pulling teeth. I’m here enjoying your company, after all.”

“Wow, he finally admits it!” Jonouchi brought his beer to Kaiba’s, clinging them briefly before bringing the top to his lips. Although he was drinking, his eyes watched Kaiba with a kind of spark before he finally set the drink down. “I have a feeling you enjoyed my company even before now, if minimally, but you were too stubborn to admit it even to yourself.”

“Well…” Kaiba muttered, pausing to take a sip of his drink. “I suppose after I had time to mature, you weren’t so painful to be around…”

“Thanks,” Jonouchi laughed. “You were always painful to be around, though. Since we’re all deciding to be honest now.”

“How long have you been waiting for a chance to tell me that?” Kaiba cocked an eyebrow at Jonouchi, frowning slightly. He wasn’t really irritated, but he wasn’t going to look amused about it. “I can’t say you were wrong. To an extent, I was--and still am--a pain intentionally. It’s a way to weed out people who aren’t worth my time. But back then I was painful to be around because I didn’t want anyone around me.”

“Honestly Kaiba, with an attitude like that, you aren’t really worth anyone else’s time, either.” Jonouchi shook his head. “It’s a two-way street. While people might want you for their business or status whatever crap stuff, most human beings don’t like having to prove themselves to a self-important stranger.”

“I can barely remember a time before I had to constantly prove myself,” Kaiba argued, “I consider my sense of importance deserved. I expect people I associate with to have something more worthwhile about them than just existing.”

“Most people do,” stressed Jonouchi with a heavy sigh, “You’re just too wrapped up in your own shit to see that...”

SIX MONTHS FORWARD

Kaiba woke up not because his body was done resting, but because the motion nearby was so unfamiliar that his senses forced him awake. It had only been a shift in the mattress, but as he came to, he realized it must be Jonouchi getting out of bed. He managed to rouse himself into a half-awake state and open his eyes as he heard the shuffling sound of Jonouchi trying to quietly dress himself.

“You don’t want to shower?” Kaiba asked as he sat himself up. He could guess why Jonouchi was dressing without taking the time to clean up. It was unlikely that it was because he planned to put his clothes on and sit in the apartment waiting for him to wake up.

“I didn’t want to bother you by asking,” Jonouchi answered quickly, his motions jerky as he tried fixing his hair with his fingers. “I have to get going, anyways. I didn’t mean to spend the night... Someone’s gonna get upset if I’m not at the garage on time.”

“Then call ahead and tell them you’ll be late,” Kaiba suggested, though it was in the tone of a command. “This is America. They won’t fire you for a late arrival.”

He stood as he said that and started looking for his own clothes, wholly unashamed of his nudity. There wasn’t any point being coy about it at this point.

“They won’t be any happier about you showing up looking and smelling like sex,” he continued as he put his legs into his pants and walked toward the bathroom. “And I doubt you’ll be any good hungry. Call to warn your coworkers, freshen up, and then we’ll go to breakfast.”

“You’re not even asking me,” Jonouchi gaped. “What kind of shit is that?”

Kaiba paused in surprise at the threshold of the bathroom, then turned and stared at Jonouchi with wide eyes.

“I assumed you would understand that of course you have the option of going to work with bedhead and semen residue on your stomach and back. And far be it from me to force you to eat.”

Jonouchi narrowed his eyes slightly, snorting. His ears were starting to change color, but he just crossed his arms over his chest, huffing, looking like he was trying to save face.

“You know, for someone who accuses me of being vulgar,” started Jonouchi with a frown, “you really don’t care about what comes out of your mouth... Fine. I’ll get breakfast with you. I don’t want to offend the world by smelling like your ejaculate any longer.”

“I never said they’d be offended,” Kaiba replied with a smirk as he walked into the bathroom with an air of triumph. “I just figured you wouldn’t want that kind of attention.”

He turned on the shower to start the water warming, and decided to strip down again since it wouldn’t be long. He glanced toward the doorway to see if Jonouchi was going to follow, but predictably, he didn’t. Kaiba didn’t think it would be constructive to tease him anymore, either, so he concentrated on getting clean.

Or, he did for a moment. Soon after the multiple shower jets had soaked his hair flat, his mind was wandering back to the previous night. When he was still half-asleep, he’d only been pleased about their activities because he was remembering the sex. And the intimacy. But now he was coming awake, and was already experiencing conflicting emotions about the whole thing.

Jonouchi had come to his home, which was an extreme thing to do, and Kaiba could only think that meant something. But on the other hand, Jonouchi had only come to his home for sex. Or, that was how it seemed. No--that was exactly what it was, because that was all that had happened. That gave him a very cold sensation in his chest when he thought about the night before.

But Jonouchi had seemed like he had much more than sex on his mind. He’d been drunk, because he went to the bar and Kaiba wasn’t there. More surprising than that was the fact that his solution was to go to Kaiba’s apartment to find him. Surely, if all he’d been after was sex, he could have easily picked someone up in the bar.

Perhaps more than that, Kaiba couldn’t completely believe that Jonouchi had no other motivation because of how the sex had felt. It had been far from the rather goal-oriented encounters they’d had in the past. It had been intense, intimate, and tiring enough that Jonouchi couldn’t help but spend the night this time. That didn’t seem congruent with the idea that Jonouchi had come just to get his kicks.

Kaiba stopped absentmindedly rubbing conditioner into his hair and rinsed it out thoroughly, forcing his thoughts to stop running rampant. It wasn’t going to do him any good to stand in the shower all morning wondering whether or not Jonouchi had any feelings for him. The night before had given him too many reasons to hope, but nothing certain. He knew from the past months that over-analyzing wasn’t going to help. He’d have to find a way to get information from Jonouchi.

That was a daunting thought. When Kaiba stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself, he was already frowning at the prospect, and his brow only continued to furrow as he patted his hair dry and returned to the bedroom covered only from the waist down. He was supposed to be going to the closet for clothes, but the first thing he did was look around for Jonouchi. He was mildly suspicious that he may have run off while he was in the bathroom, and if that was the case, it was best he find out immediately.

Jonouchi wasn’t in the bedroom, but that wasn’t cause for panic. He had far too short an attention span to sit quietly for any amount of time. Kaiba felt indecently relieved when he heard noise from the kitchen even as he entered the great room. He found Jonouchi in there, looking through the cabinets, tapping his finger against one of Kaiba’s glass dish sets curiously. Kaiba snorted in amusement.

“The cupboard isn’t magic. Food has to be put inside it before you’ll find any in there,” he informed Jonouchi in as matter-of-fact a tone he could muster.

“Stop sneaking around to watch me and go get dressed,” snapped Jonouchi in response. He only gave Kaiba a quick look, glancing over him before going back to his cabinet searching. For what exactly, neither of them knew. “I’ll find something decent....”

“If you do, I’ll be sure to applaud your inventiveness,” Kaiba muttered as he turned and walked back toward the bedroom. He didn’t keep food in the apartment, really. He had some fruit and condiments in the fridge, but he hardly ever cooked for himself. He hadn’t had the urge to do so recently, for sure, so there would be no ingredients or leftovers available. Normally he’d just get coffee on his way to work, but today called for an actual meal. Maybe in the future he’d be more prepared.

In the future? That was assuming this ever happened again. He hoped it would. But at the same time he didn’t, because if this happened again and for Jonouchi it was just fun, that would hurt too much to tolerate. Kaiba considered himself to be of significant fortitude both mentally and emotionally, but everyone had a limit.

“Ah ha, I found an apple,” yelled Jonouchi from afar. “Take that for doubting me!”

“We both know that an apple is meaningless to your appetite,” Kaiba shouted back, though he had to admit he was amused. Apparently, Jonouchi had opened the fridge.

Jonouchi came back after a few seconds, appearing thoughtful as he bit a piece off of his apple.

“So,” he began, his eyes finally falling on Kaiba and staying there since the beginning of their morning, “What am I supposed to do for clothes if I’m going to go ahead and take a shower? I don’t want to smell too much like sex and make everyone around me jealous ‘cause I’m getting some.” He snorted and rolled his eyes at his own joke.

“I’ll...dig out a t-shirt you might be able to wear,” Kaiba replied, looking over Jonouchi’s physique, though he was familiar enough with it already to know that he would be hard-pressed to find a shirt that would fit Jonouchi properly.

“Really, “ laughed Jonouchi in disbelief, “You’re gonna let me wear one of your fancy, off-the-catwalk designer shirts? I’m just a commoner!”

“Why would I be fine with you jerking me off, but not with wearing my clothes?” Kaiba blinked, watching Jonouchi for his response. It occurred to him that Jonouchi truly had no idea the level of invasion Kaiba was willing to let him have. How could he not? If nothing else, the physical proof was there.

“You’d be surprised,” Jonouchi answered quietly. “A lot of men don’t share your sentiment.”

Kaiba averted his gaze to the carpet, then turned to walk toward the closet.

“I wouldn’t have started anything with you if I wasn’t comfortable with you,” he stated in a low voice. He was disgusted with his own lack of conviction in saying that, but he wasn’t completely sure if he wanted anyone but himself to hear. Maybe he had been the only one who heard--Jonouchi didn’t respond, and he escaped any tension when he disappeared into the closet to find a shirt for Jonouchi to wear.

“Make sure it’s a flattering color for me,” called out Jonouchi, “Like, not black. Or grey. I don’t want to look like I’m gonna go to a funeral today or some shit.

“Also, you’re lucky. The garage doesn’t need me until noon...”

“Isn’t the garage lucky?” Kaiba retorted. “If they’d insisted on you showing up, they’d have to deal with your...state.”

“Oh shut it.”

Kaiba chortled low in his register and continued to search for something Jonouchi could wear. The chance of him having a slightly oversized (or at least stretchable) shirt in a flattering color was slim. Kaiba hardly ever wore green. He could possibly find a blue business shirt, but if that fit Jonouchi, he still would probably refuse to wear it.

After digging through the dresser in his closet that essentially existed to stow clothing he didn’t wear, he miraculously found something suitable. It was a very dark green sweater, not too long in the arms or chest for Jonouchi to look decent in it. Why did he even have it? It must have been shipped to him by a fashion company that wanted some endorsement. Kaiba walked into the bedroom to leave it somewhere for Jonouchi to find.

He heard water running in the bathroom and assumed Jonouchi had eaten enough to tide himself over for the time it would take him to shower. Kaiba hummed, wondering what he would do to preoccupy himself in the meantime--aside from thinking. His eyes wandered to the mussed bed, and he decided to put that in order since he had nothing else to do. When that task was complete, and he still heard the shower running, he decided it might be best to go start himself some coffee. He didn’t even feel as if he needed the caffeine, at the moment, but coffee was part of his daily ritual. He didn’t think he could go without maintaining the habit.

Once coffee was brewing, Kaiba was left in the near-silent kitchen, alone, his hair still damp and his feet bare. He found it more difficult every passing second to stop himself from thinking about Jonouchi in the shower, but was saved quickly enough when the sound of the water stopped. Kaiba went to the living room to sit and wait, but even as he settled into a chair, Jonouchi emerged from the bedroom. He was dressed, but his hair was damp and dripping in places.

“That was quick,” Kaiba muttered, though if he was honest, Jonouchi’s shower had been painfully long to him. Jonouchi looked good in his sweater. He tried not to let any kind of response well up in him when he thought that. He didn’t succeed. He was as susceptible as anyone to liking the view of a lover wearing his shirt. Even if it was actually a sweater, and one he didn’t really wear. It still counted.

“Yeah, unlike you, I don’t feel the need to paint my toe nails and shit when I use the bathroom to get ready,” replied Jonouchi sarcastically. He went straight for his shoes and jacket, not waiting for Kaiba to take the hint as he quickly scrambled to get into his clothes.

“So what kind of place are you gonna take me? Probably not some local diner joint,” inquired Jonouchi, “Which is kinda a shame. I like them.”

“I might be willing to give one a try, if by “diner joint” you don’t mean “Ihop”. Or “Denny’s”,” Kaiba replied a bit dryly, though he honestly wasn’t opposed to going to a “diner” if it wasn’t some trashy franchise. He wasn’t much for American breakfast, usually, but it made for an admittedly nice special occasion breakfast.

“Just because I’m not rich like you doesn’t mean I like that kind of shit, either,” snapped Jonouchi as he rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even eat Denny’s while living in Japan. Let’s find a local place, okay? I want a mountain of pancakes alongside a pile of bacon!”

“Then that’s what you’ll have,” Kaiba resisted the small smile that tried to cross his face. “I might have an omelette. You’ll have to pick the restaurant. I haven’t exactly been a connoisseur of the breakfast diners nearby.”

Jonouchi took out his phone, and during the car ride around the city, he didn’t speak until he was successful in finding a place nearby that had a high enough rating for him.

“This place close by has four and a half stars,” he interrupted out of nowhere, “All the reviews say their pancakes are amazing. Here!”

He dropped the phone on Kaiba’s lap after setting the gps. It started giving out directions in a woman’s voice, in English.

“Be quick, I’m so hungry!” Jonouchi whined. Kaiba quirked an eyebrow.

“Pardon me if I’m not eager to violate traffic laws for your appetite’s sake,” he muttered, “Didn’t you eat last night?”

“Not really...”

Jonouchi immediately avoided eye contact. He started watching the window, gazing at the people who littered the sidewalks.

“I got distracted.”

“I see.”

Kaiba chose not to press. It wasn’t like he couldn’t figure out for himself what had prevented Jonouchi from having a proper meal. It did give him cause to wonder, though, just how upset he had been before coming to his apartment. Jonouchi was the last person Kaiba expected to miss a meal, or to lose appetite out of concern. Unless it was something extreme.

Had it been extreme? Kaiba glanced at Jonouchi through his peripherals as that thought entered his mind, but he chased it away. If he was going to start that again, he could do it on his own time. What was the point in wondering nonstop about Jonouchi while he was with Jonouchi? It was his own damn fault for not having the courage to ask outright.

He got them to the diner quickly enough. Not quickly enough for Jonouchi, but quickly enough by the standards of normal humans. He let Jonouchi lead the way into the restaurant. Kaiba asked for juice when the waitress offered to bring drinks. Coffee was probably more conventional, but he’d already had a cup that morning. Caffeine excess was not going to do him any favors.

Jonouchi ordered hot chocolate. His face lit up when it arrived; it was more desert than drink. Covered to the brim in whipped cream, there were chocolate shavings on top, which Jonouchi licked off before winking.

“You’re jealous because you didn’t order this,” he teased. Thankfully, they were sitting in a far corner booth, Jonouchi’s back to the rest of the restaurant. For the sake of Kaiba’s sanity, in case he did something really vulgar…

“I’m not jealous of anything,” Kaiba retorted, trying to keep humor from his face and voice, though he felt his eyes were betraying him. “I got a front row seat.”

He wondered if this would turn into a competition. If Jonouchi was trying to see who would get more uncomfortable first, he was in for a surprise. Or, maybe he enjoyed the dirty banter. Kaiba didn’t know, and he didn’t want to disrupt the mood by asking.

“Did you think that maybe this drink is actually really good?” asked Jonouchi innocently. He frowned when he looked at Kaiba’s drink. “And here I thought you’d get something more exciting than boring old orange juice. They have tea, you know.”

“I’m trying to choose as if I were American,” Kaiba smirked, “One who actually has to put thought into his waistline. I’m sure your drink is delicious, but I’ll enjoy it posthumously through you.”

“Orange juice has sugar in it,” teased Jonouchi. He picked up his menu and became quiet after that. His eyes were traveling across the pictures, looking deep in thought as the minutes went by in silence.

How could anyone be so intense about breakfast?

“There are only so many types of options, Jonouchi,” Kaiba snickered, glancing at the menu himself. “I’ll just get an omelette and sausage, I suppose.”

He was already worried that would be too greasy to enjoy, but he’d thought the same thing about the taco shop, and that had proven to be of upstanding quality. He realized he was discrediting Jonouchi’s taste. Jonouchi had taste--good taste, in fact. He was just far, far more willing to lower the bar on quality than Kaiba was.

“Bacon and pancakes!”

When a waitress finally appeared, Jonouchi ordered his meal quickly, and then continued on for Kaiba, taking him by surprise. His voice was full of energy, with the lady taking their order smiling awkwardly as Kaiba could only presume was because she was trying to decipher Jonouchi’s accent. Usually he was pretty clear and easy to understand, but as soon as he got drunk or really animated, he resorted back to his old habits.

Once the waitress had read back the order for confirmation and left to take it to the kitchen, Kaiba faced Jonouchi, who had already gone back to his hot chocolate. Kaiba hadn’t even touched his juice yet. It looked fine, but he didn’t even want the sugar--especially not on an empty stomach.

“Do you feel calmer with the knowledge that food is on the way?” Kaiba asked as he leaned back in his seat, arms crossed.

“Why are you always picking me when it comes to me and my eating habits,” asked Jonouchi as he raised an eyebrow, “You’re making me feel all self-conscious and I don’t like it.”

“It’s not malicious,” Kaiba blinked in surprise at Jonouchi’s words. Evidently, he was sensitive about food in more ways than one. Kaiba picked on him about a lot of things, but he rarely hit a nerve. “I don’t tease you because I want you to feel bad. I just find it funny. I have no idea what it’s like to feel that way about food, and it’s strange to watch the way you behave about it.”

Jonouchi stirred his drink, not really answering. His face seemed a little strained, swirling his spoon over and over again in the mug until the whipped cream melted into the drink and the dark chocolate turned into a light brown with foam surrounding the edges. Kaiba watched him curiously for a few seconds. Evidently, he’d done something wrong--very wrong, if Jonouchi was moping instead of shouting at him. And if he was neglecting the hot chocolate he’d been so happy about.

“Jonouchi,” Kaiba began, forcing himself out of hesitant behavior, “What made you come to my apartment last night?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Jonouchi started. He started biting his thumb nail, his eyes looking off towards another table before he sighed and rolled them dramatically. “I got lonely and thought it was a good idea. It’s not like you’d be anywhere else if you weren’t at the bar. You don’t have a life.”

“I have a comfortable amount of a life,” Kaiba snorted, “I have work, Mokuba visits, and I spend time with you. I don’t want or need so many activities or relationships on my plate. I prefer not to be spread thin.”

He paused momentarily, gathering his thoughts. Jonouchi had learned how to tell when not to interrupt, which was more than could be said for most other people. Jonouchi didn’t have a reputation for patience, but he never seemed irritated waiting for Kaiba to mull things over.

“Keeping in mind that you do have a life,” he remarked, “I’m surprised that you got lonely. And that when you did, my place was the first thing that came to mind.”

“Where else would I go,” laughed Jonouchi as he shook his head. “Would you honestly want me showing up somewhere else?”

“Well--” Kaiba cut himself off as he examined the question, but he was too surprised to come up with anything noncommittal. “--No. I wouldn’t. But I always assumed you had better places to be.”

“Like where?” Jonouchi challenged. Their food finally appeared. Grabbing a piece of bacon off his plate, Jonouchi chewed on it as he worked on fixing his pancakes. “You think I have that many other places to go besides your apartment? I don’t. Ha ha, I spend nearly all my time with you now. I thought you’d see that.”

Kaiba opened his mouth as if to speak, but there were no words to say. It had nearly felt like a compulsion to simply blurt all his thoughts and feelings right there, but he had no intention of doing that to himself.

So he quickly shoved food in his mouth to stop words from leaving it, and continued to do so more consecutively than he ever had in his life. He almost laughed to himself when he realized that he was sitting there scarfing his meal after making Jonouchi so uncomfortable about doing the same.

“Kaiba,” Jonouchi stressed in their native tongue, dropping his fork when Kaiba didn’t look up from his plate, “I get it. You didn’t like my lifestyle before. And you know what, I was right for telling you to get over it, because you had no right to try to tell me how to live my life, but I stopped. For myself, not you.

“I’m not bouncing around from bedroom to bedroom,” Jonouchi hissed as Kaiba pointedly ignored him, “I came over last night because I wanted to see you.”

Kaiba absorbed all that silently, his eyes on his nearly-empty plate. He felt like he was going to be sick, and only partly because of eating too goddamn fast. His mind was racing so quickly that he could already feel a headache starting. And worse than anything was the beginning of a nervous sweat that he was actively fighting against with controlled breathing.

He was so sure that it meant something. But at the same time, he was so unsure. He’d learned early in his life that gambling never worked out for him. Why should this be any different?

Even as he was frantically trying to stop himself with pessimism, he also reasoned that it was unlikely that anything more explicit than that would be said. Wasn’t he supposed to be a master at wordplay? At reading other people? Why did he keep second-guessing himself about what was clearly more than friendly behavior? More than friends with benefits behavior, even.

He couldn’t make himself act, even after the few painful seconds he spent running all those conflicting thoughts through his mind. When he did finally force himself into conviction, he ate what little was left of his meal and wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin beside his plate. He was sick of the uncertainty, the sulking, the horrible pain of longing--everything. He had to do something, and his gut told him it had to be done now. It had never been wrong before.

“Jonouchi--” he began before pausing, sighing, and trying again. He had to start and refuse to stop until everything was said. “Look, I never “disapproved” of your lifestyle, and I’m fully aware that it’s none of my business. That didn’t stop me from being possessive of your time and affection. I had no right to be, but I was. I still am. I’m hardly upset to hear that you went to the trouble of coming to my address solely because you wanted to see me. If I wasn’t such a coward, maybe I would have invited you a long time ago. Maybe I would have actually told you what I felt for you instead of making you feel judged for your sex life.

“All that is moot now. The point is--Jonouchi, I want to be more than your friend, and I have for a long time. And I think I’ve spent enough time moping about it on my own and being destructive to the relationship we have because I didn’t have the strength of character to deal with rejection. It’s not an excuse, but I’d rather you knew the reason why I’ve acted the way I have. That’s all.”

Kaiba had his wallet in hand and cash laid on the table with a practiced swiftness even before he finished exhaling the final word. He didn’t plan to stay to hear Jonouchi’s response, if he had any. He still had a decent amount of food to finish, so Kaiba doubted he’d abandon that to chase after him regardless of what he thought.

So he stood, hastily straightening out his clothes as he took long, quick strides out of the restaurant. He’d thought that vomiting his feelings all over Jonouchi would make him feel better, but somehow it was worse. He felt relieved, in a way, because he didn’t have to wonder if he should confess. However, a worse feeling had taken the place of his general unhappiness; he felt a terrible tingle in his lungs and stomach, almost like a tickle. He’d only ever felt it before on a rollercoaster right before the drop.

He didn’t know if it was anticipation or an entirely new breed of nervousness erupting in his body, but whatever it was, he didn’t like it and wanted it gone. He felt overcome with dismay for a moment as he realized he’d probably end up in his apartment drinking despite finally mustering up his courage. He forced himself to get over it. There was nothing else he could do. He’d said what he had to say. Some of it. Probably all he ever planned to say, even in the event that Jonouchi did admit to returning his feelings. Whatever happened after this was out of his hands.

He made up his mind to get some work done instead. If nothing else, it would be a distraction he could pour himself into. And, if his mood took a turn for the worse, it would kill time until evening, when he could drink it away without feeling trashy.

Chapter Text

Kaiba was technically only sponsoring the Duel Monsters tournament, but not one person involved with the project thought he wouldn’t be managing every detail. He was grateful for how timely the event was. His satisfaction with putting together a Duel Monsters championship eased his anxiety over Jonouchi to some degree. The buzz over the competition had completely taken over the city by storm.

Moreover, being engrossed in working on something he loved day in and out served as a fantastic distraction from any thoughts involving Jonouchi at all. Until the point that his mind wandered to Jonouchi being a contestant, at least, but it was easy enough to brush off in light of his duties. The determinedly rational part of Kaiba tried to force himself to consider the fact that soon he’d be in Jonouchi’s presence whether he liked it or not, and what would he do then?

Kaiba refused to address the question, childish as that was. He didn’t want to descend into a spiral of uncertainty again, which he knew he would if he allowed even the mildest curiosity about what the future would hold. No, he would deal with that when it happened, and pretend it wasn’t going to happen in the meantime.

Besides, Yugi would be attending the tournament as a spectator. He was still tremendously popular in Japan, and the world’s best player (even Kaiba could admit that, begrudgingly). However, Yugi had not signed up for the actual tournament, and the winning hopeful would be Jonouchi, according to all the analysts.

It was all over the news. As pleased as Kaiba was with the marketing department, he also hated the fact that there was actual advertisement with Jonouchi’s stupid grin on it all over town now. He couldn’t drive to his office from his apartment building without being assaulted by the image of Jonouchi’s characteristically cheeky smile, his eyes bright and warm in a kind of way that tugged uncomfortably at Kaiba, so that he always had to cross its path with his eyes downcast.

He hadn’t seen the real Jonouchi in two weeks. Like the coward he was, Kaiba avoided him like the plague. In his dreams, he welcomed the sight of him, but to deal with Jonouchi in the flesh and blood, face to face; Kaiba couldn’t stomach the thought. Of all the people to be anxious about, and the fear of running into Jonouchi head on unawares never left Kaiba’s thoughts.

Most nights, Kaiba found himself unwilling to go back to his apartment. Sleep meant dreams. The last thing he wanted was visions of Jonouchi playing in his brain: best case scenario, Jonouchi rejects him with disgust at his declaration of love. Kaiba could live with that, or so he told himself. He, perhaps like every human, had felt rejection all his life. That wasn’t new or unusual.

Worst case scenario, though... Jonouchi would accept him. Welcome him. The very thought made Kaiba’s eyes twitch, and he turned off his laptop before collapsing on top of his desk.

He used to sleep like that all the time. It wasn’t restful, but neither was lying in bed where Jonouchi laid next to him. Kaiba could only handle that drunk, and he was too crunched with deadlines to subject himself with nasty hangovers in the morning.

Sleeping in his office had soon become habit; his one reprieve.

It wasn’t until the wee hours of the next day, that Kaiba woke up to find himself drooling on his sleeve, mouth open and nose stuffed up with his eyelids stuck with sleep and sickness. He immediately started rubbing at them, feeling dried spit across his mouth right before groaning in frustration.

Four-fifty in the morning. The tournament would be starting later, well into the night. Dueling in the giant Kaiba Corporation stadium in town, which was brand new and normally used for professional sporting events until the day of its true function had finally arrived.

Getting up, Kaiba wiped his face wearily before kicking his chair into place. He could just imagine what he looked like. A half broken man, an ugly image, someone who couldn’t get a hold of himself. Wasn’t that what his life was about? The eccentricism went hand and hand with his genius, and Kaiba routinely abandoned himself to full neglect when all his focus was placed into one task.

Or on one singular person. For the life of him, there was no off button. Kaiba wished forlornly that he could stop imagining every bad outcome and situation that his head dabbled in, but the anxiety seemed as apart of him as his intensity.

He couldn’t tear it away from him. Shutting it off was impossible, and Kaiba tried going through the motions of leaving his office and walking to the parking lot as his mind reminded him over and over again of all his inadequacies.

Who would want to be with a train wreck like him?

Kaiba got behind the wheel, turning on the engine and backing out of his executive parking spot before driving down the garage to get on the main street. It was so early in the morning that the city was nearly completely empty, and he drove silently, his mind buzzing with dozens of ugly scenarios, before reaching his apartment building.

The elevator ride was smooth. Unlocking his door, Kaiba slid inside quietly, taking off his shoes and coat before heading straight towards the bedroom. He was much too tired to think of Jonouchi when he collapsed on the mattress, just managing to take off his sport’s jacket before closing his eyes. He had until at least noon until he needed to prepare for what would probably be a painful dueling event.

He sat in the sidelines, scowling. Unlike events before Kaiba didn’t bother wearing his signature white trench jacket; he dressed in all black. His eyes scanned through the line up of duelists, each of them a part of the top ten who had made it through the murder trials. As he had predicted, Jonouchi was one of the lucky few who stood on the stage.

Next to Kaiba sat Yugi. There was something calming about the quiet companionship; unlike Jonouchi, Yugi didn’t feel the need to run his mouth incessantly about anything and everything that came to find. Comfortable silence fell between them, and every once in a while Yugi would give Kaiba a small smile, but outside of their quick reunion, he didn’t speak at all.

They sat in the front row, in the VIP section away from the general public. It was space Kaiba had reserved for just special guests, and the majority of those sitting were high executives from his Kaiba Corporation office. Yugi made quite a contrast next to the suit and tie white collar businessmen who intermixed around them.

What had been a playing field sported a gigantic dueling arena. A jumbo-tron was hanging high in the air above their heads, and Kaiba frowned when Jonouchi’s bright and smiling face appeared on the screen.

It was selfish to think, but he hated the fact that Jonouchi was so happy up there. Kaiba felt absolutely miserable. He was only kept up because of public appearance, but he felt like absolute shit in the inside. Everything tore at him inside, his guts all twisted in knots as he downcast his eyes to make burning holes in his shoes.

“Kaiba-kun, are you alright?” inquired Yugi quietly, “You seem very tired.”

“I am very tired,” Kaiba answered sorely, “but I’ll be fine.”

He didn’t like the fact that Yugi could see through the facade, but Yugi was special like that.

“You must put in so much time to create something like this,” said Yugi. His eyes looked sharp. Kaiba didn’t remember them being so piercing. It reminded him of the other one.

“I put in more than was required of me.” That was the truth; Kaiba had micromanaged his way through the entire project. “I’m not good at standing back and not getting my hands dirty.”

Yugi nodded his head like he approved the answer. Kaiba just folded his arms, looking off as the master of ceremonies finally appeared.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen,” he began, “to the first annual Kaiba Corporation Duelist Championship of America!”

There was tons of enthusiastic applause, but Kaiba heard none of it.

“Let’s begin by introducing each of our talented finalists!”

The announcer ran through the contestants alphabetically, declaring both their names and home states. Each contestant was met with rounds of applause from fans, supporters, and general lovers of the game. Some responded with mirth, others humility; some, like Jonouchi, not only received the praise well, but responded with confident gestures of appreciation. Jonouchi being who he was, his particular method of grinning fiercely and pumping his fist into the air came off as more silly than cool, but Kaiba knew him well enough by now to realize that he didn’t care as much about being cool as making an impression.

That he certainly did--Kaiba heard significantly more female voices chiming in favor of Jonouchi than for many of the other duelists present. He couldn’t withhold an amused snort, and shook his head, eyes shut, in an attempt to disguise it. He was gripped with the fear that he’d failed to do so when he saw Yugi watching him in his peripherals, but he tried to play it off when Yugi didn’t say or do anything questioning.

Once the contestants had been introduced, the master of ceremonies explained who would be facing who and when, and after that, the games began. Some duels were longer than others; finalists had been chosen based on their rank per region of the country, and Kaiba wondered if the quick losses on the part of some finalists reflected on their background. A distressingly faithful replica of Jonouchi’s voice in his head accused him of being elitist. Which he was, but he didn’t like being confronted by Jonouchi about it.

Jonouchi was in the third preliminary duel, and made short work of his opponent solely because he was simply a better strategist. His longer experience with the game showed in how well he capitalized on opportunities in every active phase of his turn, and how he used seemingly weak or useless cards to a long-term advantage. The man he was facing was nothing to sneeze at, either--Jonouchi was simply better.

Kaiba wasn’t surprised by Jonouchi’s superiority as much as the leaps and bounds ahead of the competition he seemed to be. The remaining contestants noticed too, and appeared to be getting nervous. Good, that would make things more interesting. People would get overzealous and make mistakes. Or, they’d take things more seriously and play better. Either way, it would look good on camera and improve publicity even more, and that was what Kaiba needed for this tournament.

The preliminaries ended with five contestants left in the lineup, including Jonouchi. Kaiba felt himself getting nervous, though he couldn’t think why. He knew why, he just couldn’t think it. It was a horrible thing to know he was thinking, for multiple reasons. He was genuinely concerned about Jonouchi losing in the finals, which was ridiculous. Why should he be? Aside from the fact that Jonouchi was very unlikely to lose below third place, Kaiba shouldn’t care either way if he did. He was running the tournament; who won or lost was irrelevant to him.

He admitted to himself that he certainly favored Jonouchi, inappropriate as it was in his position. And stupid as it was. He wasn’t some starry-eyed girlfriend on the sidelines rooting for a significant other in the competition.

But that didn’t change the fact that his breath caught every time Jonouchi lost life points or failed to see through a feint in the semifinals. Nor did it change the internal glow of satisfaction he felt when Jonouchi won--as he’d known he would. Of course he’d known. It was only logical. He was loathe to even think about the level of foolishness that had made him worry.

With the semifinals at an end, there was a brief intermission before the last three contestants would have to compete for the title. Kaiba opted to wait in his seat for the next half hour as people in the stands went to quickly get snacks or use the bathroom, and the contestants themselves left to get prepped for the final stretch. Kaiba was aware of Yugi’s eyes on him several times as he waited, and he was discomforted somehow by it, like he’d been revealed without realizing.

The feeling passed when the duels resumed. Kaiba found himself nearly dozing off during the first game, which was between the two non-Jonouchi contestants. He chided himself strongly for being so clearly biased, but there was nothing to be done about it. He excused himself partly with his exhaustion, reasoning that his priorities couldn’t possibly be kept better in check while he was so tired.

“Don’t you think Jonouchi-kun has a good chance at winning this?” asked Yugi. He smiled but his face betrayed no other feelings besides general happiness. “I’ve never seen him power through a tournament like this before!”

“Neither have I,” Kaiba replied, his mind racing to determine what possible motives Yugi might have for asking. Then he felt very disapproving toward himself for being paranoid. It was a perfectly natural thing for Yugi to ask him--Jonouchi was his friend, and he had confidence in him. He valued Kaiba’s opinion and wondered if he agreed. That was all. He hoped. Otherwise, it meant he’d managed to give himself away, and since he couldn’t figure out how, that in turn would mean his grip on his own responses was slipping.

“It won’t be easy. Neither of the other two finalists are to be trifled with, and whichever one he faces will present quite a challenge.”

He paused as he glanced at the duel that was taking place, his mind wandering against his will.

“But if I had to choose where to place my bets, I suppose Jonouchi would be the sounder player to pick.”

“He’s a lot stronger than most people think he is,” smiled Yugi approvingly. “I think he’s capable of a lot, but people just think he’s silly because he likes to have fun. Maybe if he was more serious, people would take him more seriously, but then he wouldn’t be the friend I know so well,” laughed Yugi. “I think by the end of the day, he might surprise us both.”

“If people choose to judge him based on what they think is being silly, rather than his accomplishments, then they don’t deserve the effort he puts into the game,” Kaiba stated flatly. Not that he could talk. He’d certainly been quick enough to dismiss Jonouchi’s success as “luck” in the past, due solely to his happy-go-lucky attitude.

“You would have never said that a year ago, Kaiba,” said Yugi lightly. “What changed your mind about him?”

Kaiba debated internally what he should say in response, but only for a moment; he didn’t want to rouse suspicion by thinking about it too long or remaining silent.

“I’ve grown wiser with age,” he replied dryly, though the defeatist part of his mind protested that the opposite was true. Surely, if he’d become wiser with time, he wouldn’t be in this situation.

Yugi chuckled. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Kaiba quirked an eyebrow and looked at Yugi through his peripherals, now more curious than uncomfortable. It wasn’t a strange response, necessarily, but it was strange coming from Yugi. Maybe not from the other guy, but definitely from Yugi. Kaiba proceeded to roll that statement over in his head for several minutes as the duel in front of him continued. He didn’t speak until the winner had essentially been decided--the loser just didn’t know he’d lost yet.

“Why?” He asked Yugi in a tone he hoped was conversational and not revealing of the panic he was suppressing. He realized after his demanding question that Yugi may have forgotten about the conversation entirely by now. It had been a while. Still, he’d already spoken, so he had to go through with it.

“Why I’m glad to hear that you have grown wiser?” asked Yugi, his eyebrows knotted in slight confusion. He shrugged his shoulders before smiling big again. “I guess I always wanted you to see Jonouchi-kun’s real potential. I didn’t like the idea of you two forever disliking each other for what happened in high school.”

“Do you always concern yourself so much with other people getting along?” Kaiba queried, slightly troubled by the thought. “You’ll drive yourself grey early doing that.”

He tapped the fingers of one hand against the opposite arm as he watched the duel end. The contestant he’d predicted would win had been declared the victor. He hadn’t finished analyzing whether or not they were better than Jonouchi. He supposed he wouldn’t have to soon, but he liked to have a leg up on the future.

“Jonouchi and I are very different people,” he stated a bit pessimistically, though he realized he was mainly saying it to himself. “It’s inevitable that we won’t get along. That doesn’t mean I can’t respect him, regardless.”

“You don’t have to be like someone to get along,” argued Yugi. “You and I are not alike at all, Kaiba-kun, but I still consider you a very close friend of mine. I think if you tried to give Jonouchi-kun a chance, you might find yourself in for a pleasant shock at how much you two could be friends, as well...”

Kaiba was highly suspicious at how suggestive that seemed, but was equally ashamed of himself for reading something imaginary into what Yugi had said. It wasn’t as if he had any idea what was happening. He was going on about friendship as usual, which Kaiba probably would have dismissed without a second thought not too long ago.

“I believe the primary issue isn’t whether I can give Jonouchi a chance,” Kaiba muttered, “But how many chances Jonouchi would give me. Most people aren’t as forgiving as you are, Yugi.”

“Jonouchi-kun has always been forgiving.”

“Hmm,” was Kaiba’s noncommittal response. He couldn’t say Yugi was wrong, especially given the events of recent months. But he knew he didn’t want Jonouchi to forgive him for being...fond of him. Forgiveness wasn’t the issue. At least, not in this case. It would be any other time, he was sure. But the current issue was one he couldn’t hope to explain to Yugi. Even if Yugi would understand, Kaiba didn’t really want understanding, or sympathy, or whatever else Yugi might offer.

Besides--Yugi was visiting the country to see his best friend win a championship. Kaiba being romantically attracted to said best friend was information that seemed inappropriate to dump on him given the circumstances.

As well as entirely unnecessary. Despite whatever familiarity they shared now, Kaiba didn’t think he wanted Yugi knowing that much about him. Some intimate details of his life were better left private.

“Jonouchi-kun is going to win this next duel,” said Yugi confidently, breaking Kaiba from his thoughts as he turned his head to give Kaiba a wide smile, “I know he will. With both of us supporting him, there’s nothing that can stop him now.”

FIVE MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba was still debating whether or not it was an acceptable course of action to visit the garage he knew Jonouchi worked at. It was silly to be taking himself there while still debating whether he should, but he had nothing better to do with his time. And, if he was honest with himself, he really did want to go, acceptable or not.

He tried not to think about what his excuse for going should be, or how Jonouchi would react to his appearance, and concentrate instead on finding the place. It turned out to be a small, but evidently successful, establishment. It was a personal business, rather than part of one of the major chains in the region. The building was two stories, which led him to wonder if the owner lived above the store, but he brushed off the thought as he entered the main building.

Jonouchi wasn’t at the welcome desk; Kaiba hadn’t expected him to be. He seemed like more the type to get his hands into work than be responsible for overcharging locals for tire rotations. Kaiba didn’t feel like addressing the man who was at the desk, because that would require explaining himself, so he walked toward the open door to the actual garage without a word. The clerk looked annoyed, but didn’t pursue or call after him.

There were three busy mechanics that Kaiba could see when he entered the garage. They were all very clearly American, given the way they spoke, though one of them had clearly Japanese features, and another looked at least half. Jonouchi was nowhere in sight at first, but then he appeared from the far side of a sedan as he stood and wiped his forehead with a cloth he was holding.

Kaiba had already decided that he didn’t like the smells and noises in the place and started to approach Jonouchi with purpose. He certainly didn’t want to stand in the doorway breathing in oil and musk until he was noticed.

“Kaiba Seto,” spoke Jonouchi in a hesitant voice, like he believed he was seeing an apparition, “what are you doing here?” His eyes looked huge, like they were about to pop out of his skull and Jonouchi’s hands kept fumbling around with the oily rag that was in his hands.

Wasn’t that a good question. Kaiba had refrained from asking himself that for the past quarter of an hour.

“I came here to find you,” he stated obliquely. He knew that would only raise more questions, but it would give him time to think of a good reason to have inserted himself into Jonouchi’s workplace.

“Yeah, okay, but why exactly?”

“I...wondered if you would...accept an invitation to visit the new KaibaLand park here,” Kaiba managed without pausing too much more than he would in his usual drawl. At least, not enough for Jonouchi to notice. He gave himself a mental pat on the back for actually coming up with a cover story he could work with. “I assume you enjoy amusement parks as much as anyone, and I’d like to get a native’s opinion on the American version.”

“Is that all?” Jonouchi asked. His face looked like he was still questioning the request in his mind despite the smirk that was playing on Jonouchi’s features. “Why should I come with you? You’re only good company when you’re drunk,” he said unabashedly, “I don’t know if I can handle you for hours on sober.”

“If it’s that much of a problem, I’ll stop at a bar before we get on the park rides,” Kaiba replied dryly, “As long as you don’t think having me vomit on you won’t be any less charming than my usual behavior.”

Jonouchi wrinkled his nose. “When should I be doing this thing with you, then? I got a job here, as you can see. I work most days of the week. The shop is only closed on Sundays, too.”

“Do you work dusk till dawn?” Kaiba challenged. “Whatever. I don’t care when. Sunday, if that’s what you want. As soon as possible.”

Before Jonouchi had a chance to respond however he was intending to, the one non-Asian employee in the garage walked behind him, recoiled, then landed an audible smack across the seat of Jonouchi’s pants using the towel he was holding. Kaiba completely lost control of his expression when Jonouchi jumped in surprise; his eyes widened and his jaw dropped in disbelief, both at the sheer violation of personal space, and how incredibly inappropriate the mechanic’s behavior was.

Jonouchi was nowhere near as affected, and the other mechanics were snickering as if the whole thing was funny. Kaiba was only confused further when Jonouchi wadded up his own rag and chucked it at the retreating rear end of his attacker, who laughed. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to think. Evidently, he was the only person who was upset, but why? What had he missed?

“Serves you right for flirting in a language none of us can understand,” the offending mechanic accused facetiously. Kaiba’s brow furrowed as his confused gape was replaced with a scowl. What was that supposed to mean? Did Jonouchi’s coworkers know about his little curiosities? If so, that wasn’t a good reason to rope Kaiba into it...

“Ignore that asshole,” Jonouchi laughed, “he’s just mad because he can never get any!’ he declared loudly in English. He stuck out his tongue for effect before turning his attention back at Kaiba. “All the guys I work with are idiots. Just ignore them. They are just playing around.”

“Playing?” Kaiba parroted. “That seemed very serious to me.”

“Oh come on Kaiba, not everyone was raised like we were,” Jonouchi joked around, rolling his eyes before crossing his arms against his chest. “You shouldn’t take Americans so seriously. They like to have fun. You should try it sometime, you might find yourself enjoying it.”

“What you classify as “fun” appears to be both invasive and counter-productive,” Kaiba muttered, “But whatever. Maybe you feel differently because you get out more, as you say. All that aside, do you want to visit the park, or not? Free of charge, obviously.”

“Yeah, I’d like to go as long as you don’t look miserable with me the entire time,” jested Jonouchi, “I plan on enjoying myself. Maybe even trying to enjoy your company, if that’s even possible. You just want my opinion on the place, right?”

“Yes. I’m confident you’ll feel positively about it, but miracles have been known to happen. Like people enjoying my company,” Kaiba snorted, but he knew the smirk on his face was actually amused rather than snide as it often was. “Just spend a day in the park with me as your guide, and I’ll do my best not to look miserable. I may even reel it back to reasonably appeased.”

“Okay.”

Jonouchi had an easy smile on his face. He seemed won over with Kaiba’s statement, not speaking again after giving his approval. It took a couple of seconds for that to truly sink in--Kaiba had been expecting a long battle of wits and the most lying through his teeth he’d done in years to make the situation play out as desired. Instead, Jonouchi had ultimately accepted an invitation he’d pulled out his ass with almost no provocation. How did that happen?

“Good,” he forced himself to speak before his surprise or uncertainty could become more evident than it may already have been. “I’ll see you Sunday at the park. It opens at nine, and I suggest being there when it does. Crowds start quickly.”

“I’ll ride my bike there.” Jonouchi was still smiling. One of the mechanics walked by, and although this one had enough self-control not to go after Jonouchi’s ass like the one before had, their gazes met in passing before Jonouchi quickly turned his attention to Kaiba again.

“You don’t feel very comfortable being here, do you?” asked Jonouchi as he popped a hip out, resting on one leg as he started smirking again, “You look out of place around people.

“More so than back home.”

“We’ve established that I’m lukewarm about America to begin with,” Kaiba stated, remaining as neutral as possible, though he felt confronted. A few years ago, he would have grown immediately defensive and said something snappy, but that wasn’t his first impulse today. “My behavior and tastes made most circles badly suited to me in Japan. It only follows that my sensibilities would make me distasteful of the way Americans socialize.”

“Hmm, well a lot of the guys here are born from Japanese-American families, but they aren’t like us,” Jonouchi explained. “You make them nervous. You speak too quickly and they can’t make out what you’re saying. That’s why that one dude was teasing me about you. I worry about you, Kaiba. One day someone’s gonna say the wrong thing to you and you’ll fall down of a heart attack.”

“I may be a snob, but I’m not quite as easily scandalized as an old man,” Kaiba raised an eyebrow, unsure whether he should be amused--and if he was, whether he should show it. “I categorize certain things as being inappropriate. For instance, I believe that in general, the intimate regions of co-workers should be off-limits.”

Jonouchi rolled his eyes again, breaking into an obnoxiously high pitched laugh. “Oh my god, it’s not that big of a deal. No one cares. It’s a garage. Guys get rowdy. It’s not like anyone’s really that serious about it. What, do you have a problem with dudes being silly with each other? I know you don’t have much experience with it, but I have fun here and no one hurts anyone.

“Besides, we don’t work at a stuffy office like you do.”

Kaiba stared at Jonouchi for several silent seconds, frowning, his brows low over his eyes in thought. Then he huffed and waved dismissively.

“There’s no accounting for taste,” he grumbled, “I’m not about to say you have to be uncomfortable with things just because I am. But knowing you think like foreigners doesn’t change the fact that I very definitely don’t.”

“We’re not in Japan, Kaiba, we’re the foreigners,” laughed Jonouchi. He had grease smeared all over his face. “What if I said I enjoyed the attention, hmm?”

“Enjoyed the attention?” Kaiba repeated, his nose wrinkling involuntarily as he leaned back slightly, observing Jonouchi with a questioning expression. “That’s good for you, I guess…?”

What a strange thought. Enjoying that kind of attention was absurd in Kaiba’s mind. If someone was going to pursue him, they’d better have more of a plan than invading his personal space and doing vulgar things as a “tease”. Jonouchi seemed to find the whole thing very fun. Kaiba considered it demeaning. He’d had women throw themselves at him in the past, and he’d gotten eye-fucked by men and women alike in his day. None of that felt especially fun. It made him feel like meat.

“You seem to have acclimatized very well,” Kaiba noted out of desire to shift the subject. “I can’t say I’m surprised you get along well with Americans. Maybe in Japan people thought you were a bit too...bursting with personality. But that’s normal here, it seems.”

“Yeah,” Jonouchi answered with a grin. “Better get with the program.”

“You’re determined to convince me to be American, aren’t you?” Kaiba snorted. “It’s going to take a little more enticement than that.”

Jonouchi made a rude noise with his nose before wiping it with the back of his hand. “Whatever, Kaiba. I already know I’m gonna have to hear an ear full of teasing once you leave here, so let’s just get that part of my day out of the way already. I’ll see you on Sunday. I’m gonna teach you how to have fun!”

“I can only imagine what that means,” Kaiba muttered very quietly to himself as he turned away, waving briskly in farewell. The clerk at the front desk looked unaffected when Kaiba reappeared from the garage. Neither of them spoke when Kaiba exited the building, but he saw the man dash toward the garage entrance through his peripherals as he was walking to his car. Something about Jonouchi getting teased by all his coworkers made him simultaneously uncomfortable, and strangely smug.

Ultimately, the situation had ended successfully, even if he’d had to wade through quite a bit of discomfort to manage it. He’d found a reason to get Jonouchi in his presence for an extended period of time, which meant that his Sunday wouldn’t be as mind-numbingly dull as Sundays usually were. And, if he behaved himself, there was a chance he could convince Jonouchi to do the same in future. Meeting for an hour or two at the bar and getting drunk here and there wasn’t cutting it anymore. Not now that Kaiba had taken a genuine interest.

He started his car and prepared to return to his hotel. It was only Wednesday, and that realization made his mood sink. But he just had to make it until Sunday. He repeated that to himself over and over again until the prospect of spending the evening alone in a hotel room seemed like something he could bear without scotch.

Chapter Text

Jonouchi was, remarkably, prepared to enter the KaibaLand park a few minutes before it was set to open. He'd managed to arrive before the majority of the small morning crowd, but even if he hadn't, Kaiba would have been able to get him through any waiting lines. He tried to mask his astonishment with Jonouchi's punctuality for the sake of being tolerable, and led him into the park through an employee entrance in a clandestine manner.

When they emerged into the park itself, Kaiba stepped aside to let Jonouchi step into the open first. He was wearing his varsity jacket from highschool, of all things. Kaiba felt himself frown a little just thinking about high school-or, rather, his high school years, since he hadn't really attended. Maybe it had some positive association for Jonouchi. He decided he couldn't complain too much about it, even internally. It wasn't as if the jacket smelled like a gym locker or any such practical complaint.

"Here's a map," Kaiba offered a folded pamphlet for the park to Jonouchi. "You can choose where you want to go first, if you'd like. I'm only here so you can skip lines."

"Ah come on, I thought you were going to actually show me the park," whined Jonouchi. He glanced over the map, his eyes scanning over the colored paper before he made a face. "How about this? You show me what you're most proud of here to start."

"That's easy," Kaiba snorted, though he was beginning to smirk in pre-emptive satisfaction. He turned and pointed toward the enormous white cap of a dome that was located at the center of the park, far from their location, but still very clearly visible.

"There," he stated, glancing at Jonouchi, "the stadium. It isn't open to the public until a tournament is happening, but it's the centerpiece of the park. No matter where you are in this place, you can find your way if you look for the stadium. And, outside of being structurally impressive, the machinery inside is the absolute best available."

"Well then, take me to it,"Jonouchi smirked, "and prove it to me."

"It'll prove itself," Kaiba returned, taking the evident challenge with confidence as he led the way toward the dome. "Everything inside is prepared for use, if you need to play with my toys as evidence."

He wondered, briefly, if he should be miffed by how unexcited Jonouchi was. He wasn't indifferent, per se, but Kaiba was accustomed to a certain level of fandom, even from his own brother and employees. Most people would likely recognize the amount of favor he was showing them by allowing them a glimpse at something that was not only a pet project, but also not yet released to the public. Jonouchi was, at most, mildly interested.

After a moment's contemplation though, he decided that he was more refreshed by Jonouchi's cool response than he was insulted. Jonouchi wasn't dismissive, but he didn't gush. It was remarkably level-headed, coming from someone who had trained Kaiba to expect the extreme.

"When's the tournament," asked Jonouchi after a few moments of silence. "I haven't competed in ages. I want to try my hand at the big leagues again!"

"Oh? So you're still dueling seriously?" Kaiba queried, raising an eyebrow. They had nearly reached the building.

"Yeah, I mean, that's why I came here originally." Jonouchi shrugged. "I needed to get out from Yugi's shadow and try my own thing. I've always taken dueling seriously, Kaiba, I just can't afford yet to do it as an only source of income."

Kaiba paused, his hand on the keypad for the VIP door to the stadium. He turned and looked at Jonouchi, scrutinizing him as he thought. Had he really moved across an ocean for the sake of making his own name? He was surprised by that-but, at the same time, he wasn't. Jonouchi had always been insistent about his status as a man of his own merits, but Kaiba had never taken it very seriously because of... well, because of Yugi's strong presence in Jonouchi's life, and in his duels.

He'd learned upon having a rum and coke dumped in his lap that he'd been wrong about Jonouchi in many ways, though, so that was moot at this point. What left an impression on him was just how much he'd underestimated Jonouchi. Perhaps more than that, he wasn't sure what to think about how forthcoming Jonouchi was about his motivations. Kaiba wasn't accustomed to having such personal things volunteered to him, especially when he didn't actually ask.

He realized he had Jonouchi trapped under his calculating gaze, and blinked deliberately. He didn't normally care about making people squirm under his stare while he sized them up or analyzed them, but he'd semi-promised to be agreeable. He was happy to twist words, but he had some principles, and keeping promises was one of them.

"Your dedication is admirable," he responded at last, not bothering to mask the approval in his tone. "With that kind of determination, I don't see why you won't eventually be successful. There are no tournaments announced yet, though. There probably won't be for a while. I assume that doesn't bother you much-being in America has worked out for you beyond your dueling career..."

Kaiba entered the code for the door as he spoke, then swiped a security card he'd carried in his pocket. He heard the bolt that secured the door slide into its recess and pushed his way into the building, holding the door open for Jonouchi after he did.

"I don't know about that," Jonouchi remarked, "Not much has really happened to me yet. I only moved here two years ago, after I got my certification in trade school. After my dad finally died and Yugi's career really started taking off, I thought it was time for a fresh start."

Kaiba turned to Jonouchi with a shocked expression before he was able to school himself. He spoke in a neutral tone as he turned on the indoor lights.

"That's understandable," he offered, unsure what else he should say. It didn't seem appropriate to offer condolences-he hadn't known Jonouchi's father had died, but he hadn't known Jonouchi's father existed to begin with. Jonouchi certainly wasn't acting broken up about it, nor was he being intentionally aloof. Kaiba decided it was best not to address the information. After all, he hadn't been especially receptive to sympathies or questioning after his "father" died. Not even after his real father died.

Once the power in the stadium was on, Kaiba watched Jonouchi's eyes travel quickly from the gargantuan dueling field at the center of the floor, then to each duelist's podium, then to the beams at the roof, then the announcers' booth, then the stands... watching Jonouchi's gaze darting around was becoming dizzying.

"The dueling field is a minor redesign, but the differences are noteworthy," Kaiba explained, approaching the field. "It's been streamlined from the less efficient design it had originally. I thought it could do with a more modern look. You'll notice the grid is gone, as well. It was unsightly, and unnecessary with the new Solid Illusion software."

"When do you plan to unveil it, then?" Jonouchi's eyes were big, his focus on everywhere but Kaiba's face as he spoke to him. He appeared overstimulated. The entire space was huge and the stands could have seated thousands, more than any other professional stadium Jonouchi had ever been to before.

"Not until the company hosts their first tournament here," Kaiba replied, hoping he wasn't visibly getting excited. He'd missed talking about Duel Monsters far more than he'd been willing to let himself know. Doing it in his own language was a hell of a bonus, too. "That isn't going to be for at least a few months down the road, but I'm sure you remember that I like making a big impression. New and improved tech at the first KaibaCorp tournament in America will do nicely.

"That said-you're my VIP guest, so if you'd like to give it a try…"

Jonouchi gaped at first, before his face transformed into a wide, toothy smile. "Really?" he asked, pointing to himself before digging into his letter jacket's pocket, "If you really don't mind, I got my deck ready. I've been wanting to play for a while now, but I don't like dealing with the stupid teenagers on the dueling network," laughed Jonouchi. He pulled out his deck, quickly shuffling like an expert before getting up on the podium.

"The computer can be your opponent this time," Kaiba stated, smirking slightly. "I wouldn't want to ruin your day out at my park by wiping the floor with you."

He was mainly just being competitive, though he had to admit he'd been wondering just where Jonouchi's skill level was now. He certainly seemed dedicated to standing on his own two feet, but that didn't mean he'd improved since Battle City. He hadn't been bad then either, per se, but he hadn't even placed top three.

Although, in Jonouchi's defensive, Marik had cheated is way to the top.

Kaiba was curious to see how well Jonouchi would do against a moderately challenging computer. He'd retired from the game himself, of course, so it was highly unlikely he'd be dueling Jonouchi at any time. But he was still a duelist at heart, he supposed, and out of instinct he wanted to size up the competition-whether it would be relevant or not.

The first duel Jonouchi fought against the virtual intelligence ended in five turns. That wasn't anything to sneeze at, but in fairness, the machine's difficulty had only been set to amateur circuit. Jonouchi seemed eager to continue, and demanded a greater challenge, so Kaiba set the difficulty up to tournament standards. While that took Jonouchi a bit longer, he still didn't have to do so much as pause for extra thought until the third duel, when the challenge was set to semifinal.

Still, Jonouchi overcame all that was thrown at him, and quite admirably. Kaiba hesitated to be impressed, but he approved. Jonouchi still seemed to be aching for something that would be more competitive, and (Kaiba assumed) more intellectually stimulating. It was unlikely that he had much opportunity to practice against anyone who was at as high a level as the computer could provide.

So, Kaiba took off the training wheel entirely and chose from the championship settings on the computer, deciding he'd like to see how Jonouchi fared against the professional level. He knew he possibly shouldn't, but he couldn't resist selecting his own deck for the computer out of the available options. He justified it internally with the logic that Jonouchi probably knew Yugi's deck, and that wouldn't be as challenging. Pegasus's deck was in the database as well, but Kaiba frowned even thinking about that. He doubted either of them would enjoy the rest of the morning if they had to see that damned Toon World.

Jonouchi didn't pick up on whose deck he was facing until several turns in, when he began to recognize the beatdown strategy and changed his own plays accordingly. He glanced at Kaiba, at first looking disbelieving, but apparently that was an act. His dry expression quickly broke into a grin. He didn't realize until Jonouchi had turned back to the duel, but there was a small smile on his own face. Where had that come from? Kaiba quickly put an end to that inexplicable nonsense.

He had to admit, Jonouchi had become extremely adaptable. He made a trip-up before he realized what kind of deck he was facing, and that had cost him both monsters and life points. But he very quickly retaliated against the beatdown strategy by ensuring the computer had no monsters on the field to sacrifice for stronger ones, and he ultimately destroyed one of Kaiba's main strategies back in the day by removing X Dragon Head from the game to prevent XYZ Dragon Cannon from ever happening.

Still, Kaiba knew his deck was good, and the computer was smart. Not as smart as a real player, but there was only so much a VI could do. Jonouchi traded blows with it, each scrambling to overcome the others' strategies in place (and most often succeeding) until finally, Jonouchi was the one left unable to recover from being foiled. He set out to attack the computer's strongest monster on the field while the rest were rendered virtually useless by various spell and trap cards, but the computer revealed the only card that could save it in that situation: Mirror Force.

Jonouchi looked frustrated when his full field of monsters was completely obliterated, and the computer was left with one that could easily take out the rest of his life points on its upcoming turn. Which it did, inevitably.

Kaiba only hummed when Jonouchi's life points dropped to zero; he was mildly troubled by how well Jonouchi had fared. Yes, it was his old deck, which wasn't nearly as sophisticated as the one he'd built himself in latter months, but it was still a deck forged by his own strategies. Jonouchi had out-thought it at nearly every turn. He was, he felt, a little bit impressed, but he was more impressed when Jonouchi requested-or, rather, demanded-another go against the computer. The near victory had invigorated him to pursue a won match, apparently. Kaiba was hardly going to argue, and he started another duel.

This time, Jonouchi was even more ferocious, played even smarter; Kaiba's eyebrows rose as he watched Jonouchi trade blows with the computer, his concentration so complete that he didn't pause to send the occasional glance Kaiba's way as he had been before. Kaiba knew his own deck by heart, of course, so he recognized the point when the only trap cards remaining for the computer to have placed on the field included Mirror Force. Jonouchi was doing very well at present-he had his famous Red-Eyes Black Dragon on the field, along with his almost equally-iconic Thousand Dragon, and he'd just used his Copycat card to mirror the computer's Blue-Eyes White Dragon and promptly destroy it after applying an equip spell (much to Kaiba's chagrin).

But he would lose all of that if the face-down trap on the computer's side was mirror force. The computer only had a Koumori Dragon remaining on its side, but it was pumped up with equip spells to the degree that one direct attack from it would wipe Jonouchi out. Kaiba felt an odd sense of anticipation as he waited for Jonouchi to make his play. He seemed as aware as Kaiba was that the odds of the trap being Mirror Force was high, and that could turn the tide of the entire game. Which, up to now, Kaiba had to acknowledge Jonouchi had ultimately dominated.

He quirked an eyebrow when Jonouchi smirked rather than looking worried, then sacrificed his Thousand Dragon to summon Jinzo. Kaiba nearly gaped in surprise, but he maintained his composure. Jonouchi had essentially won at this point. The computer had one monster, and Jonouchi had three-all with considerable attack strength. There was nothing the computer could summon out of its hand as resistance.

Win Jonouchi did, starting with a blast from his stolen Blue-Eyes, and followed with a direct attack from Red-Eyes to finish the game. Kaiba was astonished, even as he was somewhat unsurprised. The first duel had been so close that it was a distinct possibility that Jonouchi could beat the computer, but Kaiba had still doubted he would.

As seemed to be the theme of his life, he was proven wrong. Jonouchi appeared satisfied at last with his accomplishments and descended the podium. Kaiba waited for him to approach before he spoke.

"You've improved since the last time I saw you duel," he commended graciously. Well, it was gracious by his standards. He'd found frequently that other people found his idea of a compliment to be somewhat lacking.

"You must be very impressed if you're willing to tell me that," Jonouchi smiled, "I have been practicing, even if I can't afford the big tournaments. I've been using the Dueling Network and just playing for fun against other duelists around the city, that sort of thing." Jonouchi shrugged. "I haven't forgotten what Yugi and his gramps taught me."

"I should hope not. Lessons from the world's greatest are very valuable, and impossible to get for most people," Kaiba remarked.

"World's greatest, huh? So when are you going to teach me something willingly?" asked Jonouchi with a wink.

Kaiba had his arms crossed, but loosened them a bit in confusion as he absorbed the question. He wasn't sure what to make of it, so he chose to give a straight answer.

"I wasn't aware you wanted to be taught," he stated, "besides, what good would it do you to learn from me, when you can learn from the man who beat me?"

He paused, thinking, before he spoke again.

"Not that I don't appreciate the intention of your words," he muttered. He wasn't sure how to accept a compliment that personal from someone he wasn't especially close to. "Still. I think the question isn't when will I teach you, but whether you think you could put up with me as a teacher."

"You're not as terrible as you think you are," Jonouchi laughed. This time he was the one crossing his arms, but it was more in a bemused sort of manner. There was a giant smirk on his face now. "For whatever reason, you like to play difficult with people so you can what, be all mysterious? I don't know, it doesn't matter much to me. All I know is that I've never once beat you, personally, which makes you someone worth learning from. So, how about it?"

"I don't see why not," Kaiba agreed, though he was still hesitant. "It's not as if I have many opportunities to face a good player casually, after all. I haven't played a single duel since I left Japan."

"Well, that's a damn shame," gasped Jonouchi. "You love duel monsters. There's no reason to give it up just because you aren't playing professionally. Don't you miss it at all?"

"Yes," Kaiba replied quickly before he could make himself say something more oblique. He regretted being so honest, but there was nothing to be done about it now. "But it's not enjoyable to play against any sod off the street, or teens on the Duel Network. That, and I've been very busy with the company until recently."

"And what about now?" inquired Jonouchi.

"Hmm," Kaiba grumbled, frowning. "The same reason I floated into the bar where I met you, I guess. I don't feel like myself in this new climate yet."

It was much more complicated than that, but he didn't want to yammer on about it. He didn't tend to enjoy yammering in general. One of the things that had annoyed him about Jonouchi in the past was his seemingly incessant chatter, but in a one-on-one social situation, Kaiba was quickly learning that someone else having the gift of Gab was a blessing. All he had to do was listen and provide the occasional comment.

"It's not important at this point," Kaiba attempted to dismiss the topic in favor of returning to what they were supposed to be doing. "If you've had your fill of the stadium, we can move on to other attractions. I assume you enjoy thrill rides?"

"Of course!" answered Jonouchi rather loudly, "What kind of hot blooded male would I be if I didn't? What's the most hair raising ride you got here? I can handle anything."

"It may be too soon after your breakfast for the most hair-raising," Kaiba mused, though he could hear his own amusement breaking into his voice. "Let's begin with moderately hair-raising and work our way up, hmm?"

"I'm not afraid," started Jonouchi as he began following Kaiba out of the building, "If anything, I'm afraid for you. I was raised on this kind of thing. Even though I hated you back in highschool, I had been to KaibaLand more times than I could count.

"In fact," Jonouchi smirked, sticking his tongue at Kaiba before breaking into ugly snorts, "I used to sneak in with Honda during the busiest weekends when security couldn't catch us."

Kaiba couldn't help laughing at that, if briefly, mainly because of Jonouchi's expression. Had he caught Jonouchi in the act of sneaking into his theme park, he probably would have given him an earful. Now, though, it would be irrelevant. And really, he didn't actually care. If Jonouchi had been able to pay for tickets every time he wanted to enter, he probably would have. Kaiba had wanted the park to be available for kids whether they could afford it or not, so it would be hypocritical of him to be angry.

"How very bold of you. I suppose that luck of yours kept you from being caught and banned," Kaiba teased. "I'm...flattered, in an odd way? Though I can hardly say I approve. If you place high enough in my tournament, maybe I'll give you season passes so you won't be crawling up through a floorboard somewhere to get in."

He was leading them back toward the exit so they could go to the first ride. Jonouchi seemed very confident, and Kaiba believed him, but he figured it still couldn't hurt to start with the less extreme entertainment. Amusement park rides in the United States were less intense than those in Japan on average, and for the sake of not alienating the regional youth, Kaiba had complied with their standards. However, they still had rides that were faithful replicas of those in Japan, intensity and all. At least he was certain Jonouchi wouldn't be bored.

The first thing he took Jonouchi to try out was the star flyer. The ride, like most of the others in the park, was based primarily on a Blue-Eyes White Dragon theme. Jonouchi didn't comment-Kaiba assumed he was used to that kind of thing from KaibaLand in Japan. Even if he wasn't, he likely wasn't overly surprised.

The ride was large enough to be designed with the seats in pairs, and Kaiba was aware it would be rude of him to stand and watch instead of riding even before Jonouchi pre-emptively insisted he join in. Kaiba wasn't especially thrilled by the experience-it was entertaining, to be sure. He'd designed it to be. But he wasn't having nearly as much fun as Jonouchi seemed to be, if his constant grin and occasional whooping were any indication.

Still, that was a good sign. The attractions at the park were meant to be enjoyed by children and adults alike, and since Jonouchi seemed somewhere in between the two, he made for a good one-man test group. That wasn't what Kaiba had brought him to the park for (even if he'd said that was the reason) but he didn't mind accomplishing two things at once.

Jonouchi's appetite for the park's thrill rides only grew stronger after the star flyer, so Kaiba led him to the drop tower that was nearby. It was several steps above the star flyer in thrill factor, to be sure. The shrieks of people descending rapidly down it could be heard from hundreds of yards away. That didn't deter Jonouchi one bit; in fact, he seemed more excited the closer they got to the tower.

They sat beside one another on the ring of spaces for riders. Kaiba found he was more than mildly irritated with the proximity he had to share with a stranger on his other side, but fortunately the person at least didn't recognize him in any way. The last thing he wanted right now was to be gushed over. It would be so embarrassing, too, with Jonouchi there. And incredibly grating when it was accompanied with the soundtrack of wind rushing past his ears and people around him screaming.

As the drop tower neared the peak of its ascent, Kaiba was distracted by the view of the park from where he was-partly admiring it, but also scrutinizing it for imperfections as he was prone to doing whenever he visited. He was distracted from his actions when the seats stopped moving and hovered, and Jonouchi tapped his upper arm. Kaiba looked at him, surprised by the interruption and sudden physical contact, and prepared to be annoyed. But Jonouchi was watching him with one of his characteristically impish grins.

"What?" Kaiba asked, feeling anticipation rise in his body due to the behavior rather than the ride. Jonouchi looked as if he might respond, but the tower suddenly dropped, and all that came out of his mouth was the beginning of a surprised holler that turned into hearty laughter and excited shouting. Kaiba only watched him curiously, though his lips were starting to turn downward in a scowl as he realized he hadn't completely thought through what the park rides were going to do to his hair.

He'd just have to hope he could fix it between rides.

Jonouchi was even more excited as the ride geared up for the second drop, to the degree that he was kicking his legs as he waited. Kaiba looked down at the platform far below, his hands resting on the device that was bracing his body against the seat. He turned to Jonouchi with more irritation than surprise when he tapped his arm again.

"Stop that," he commanded. He was aware that it wasn't a friendly way to behave, but he didn't care. He didn't like being touched unexpectedly in the first place, but Jonouchi's fingers almost seemed to leave an imprint that made him feel like they were still on him. "What do you want?"

"You designed these rides. Shouldn't you be having more fun?"

"I have a unique relationship with fun," Kaiba replied. He knew Jonouchi was probably going to say something argumentative, but he could physically see his thoughts of doing so flee within half a moment, when the ride dropped them again.

Kaiba was pleased to find that he wasn't probed further on the third and final drop. When they left the ride, Jonouchi's first steps were a bit wobbly, and he laughed about it, though Kaiba wasn't sure why. He was pleased to find himself no worse for wear, except that his hair had been highly tousled by the wind. He was able to smooth it back into place fairly easily, which made him thankful that his haircut was recent enough to make such a thing possible without a mirror and significant care. He resisted making a face when he saw that Jonouchi was more than a little amused by his preening.

"Not all of us are capable or willing to sport the "just rolled out of bed" look," he muttered as he walked ahead of Jonouchi toward the park's least forgiving roller coaster. Jonouchi had been far from bothered by the prior rides, so he thought it would be a good idea to kick things up to level eleven and see what happened to him after that.

"But we're about to go on another fast ride, so what's the point?" Jonouchi teased, "I'm not gonna judge you for not looking like a supermodel, Kaiba. You can relax a little."

"Hmm," Kaiba grunted quietly, but didn't reply. He wasn't even concerned as much with others' opinion of him as his own. It disgruntled him to think he looked out of order. Something about it made him feel off. He knew full well that most casual passersby wouldn't notice if his hair was a bit mussed (especially not Americans) but he could feel it.

The line for the roller coaster was the longest they had seen, though that may have been partly because the day was wearing on and more people were entering the park. Kaiba led Jonouchi to the front of the line without a second thought, and didn't have to do so much as produce an ID for the ride greeter to let them through. Kaiba did his best to make it seem like he wasn't flaunting his position, even though he was to a degree. At least he had the excuse that he was trying to give a VIP guest the best possible experience.

Kaiba watched Jonouchi's expression as they climbed to the top of the first drop. None of them were gentle, but of them the first was the least alarming. Still, as they neared the top, anticipation seemed to be gripping Jonouchi for the first time that day. Most likely, he realized just how high they were and just how steep the fall would be. Kaiba knew all that perfectly well-after all, he'd designed the damned thing. He did feel a mild lightness in his stomach when the coaster came to a lingering halt at the peak of the climb, but that fled him when they started rolling downward.

He couldn't tell if Jonouchi was yelling or screaming. Maybe both at once. Kaiba was dryly impressed that his lung capacity was such that he continued to yell-scream until the momentum of the rollercoaster ceased halfway up the next hill. Then he caught his breath for the remainder of the ascension, only to essentially repeat the cycle when they dropped again. Kaiba sat silently watching Jonouchi's antics rather impassively as the roller coaster took them on ruthless drops, disconcerting loops, and lurching turns, until at last they returned to the starting point.

Kaiba exited the ride first, with Jonouchi shortly behind him. He turned to see if he was the same disheveled mess as the rest of the passengers who were leaving, but he hadn't done so much as turn pale. He certainly didn't look sick. Not that Kaiba could really complain about that.

"Does KaibaLand US meet the expectations I set in Japan?" He queried, though he was doing so with just a hint of smugness. He already knew the answer to that was yes. He didn't release a product without knowing it would be excellent. That said, he didn't mind praise, even if he wasn't always humble about receiving it.

"Hmm, I don't know," Jonouchi mused aloud, "I mean one thing I liked about the old park was the stimulation horror rides and I don't see anything like that here." Jonouchi shrugged. "The thrill rides were good, though. Better than what was back at home.

"I'm so hungry. Where's the food court?"

"Perhaps I've failed in some way if you're ready to eat so soon," Kaiba snorted, "But whatever. Most of the food is this way."

He led them through the increasingly more crowded streets with purpose, turning his head to speak to Jonouchi as they went.

"I didn't know you favored horror rides," he stated, "There are some here, if you want to see them. We can go after you've had something to eat."

"Oh awesome!" Jonouchi's face immediately lit up as his pace increased at the promise of food. "What kind of horror VRs are they? I like to know a little bit about what I'm about to get into," he admitted a tad nervously.

"Oh? Isn't a major element of horror the suspense?" Kaiba asked, raising an eyebrow. He schooled his expression so it wouldn't become obvious that he was amused. "As the creator, I'd rather you appreciated my work as intended. So, all I'll tell you is that the VR scares are, of course, Duel Monsters based. That, and they can't actually touch you. The technology isn't quite there. Yet."

He opted for not mentioning the actors that would also be on the ride, for the explicit purpose of frightening people who thought there was no need to be afraid of the holograms. It was a bit more difficult to use actors for good scares in the US since technically they weren't supposed to grab anyone, but he knew they frequently got away with tapping unsuspecting shoulders and the like.

"Where do you want to eat?" asked Kaiba once they were surrounded on three sides by prospective restaurants and food booths. "There's soba, ramen, and even yakitori here, along with plenty of other food sold at the original park."

"Mhmm," Jonouchi mused, "I guess I want a bacon cheese burger with fries. You gotta have that here, right?" He turned his head rapidly, looking over the more Japanese traditional fare in favor of American gluttony. There were all sorts of crowds, in fact, waiting in line for the speciality "KaibaLand cuisine", but Jonouchi didn't even appear remotely interested in it.

"A burger…?" Kaiba repeated under his breath in mild disbelief. Why would Jonouchi want a burger? Really? When he could have actual food? Painstakingly authentic food, for that matter. Not that there was necessarily a shortage of authentic Japanese food in California, but there was even less shortage of American bacon cheese burgers. He would never choose food that junky over real food. Even in Japan, he wouldn't choose junk street food over actual food.

"Yeah, I'm always in the mood for burgers," laughed Jonouchi as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Yugi and I always used to go out for them. It was a kind of tradition between us, and I guess now it's like comfort food. Besides, it's great to eat because you can just use your hands!"

"If that's what you want…" Kaiba said slowly as he watched Jonouchi, still stunned and doing his best to mask his disapproval. Why was using his hands to eat so exciting? There was a time and place for that kind of thing, and it was eating sushi-which was significantly less greasy and generally messy than burgers. But, Jonouchi was there as his guest, and he knew that questioning him about his choice wouldn't make things any more logical to him. He silently led the way to one of the many places that offered standard American-style burgers with fries and decided to let Jonouchi knock himself out.

Which he did. The man could eat like a glutton and Kaiba couldn't remember the last time he watched someone put down so much food so quickly. He had a quarter pounder bacon cheese burger with a large fry, as well as a large, thick milk shake. Jonouchi inhaled it, finishing about the same time as when Kaiba got done with his respectable portion of pork ramen.

"Next time I'll try what you're having," promised Jonouchi with a smile. His lips appeared greasy. He used a napkin awkwardly to clean himself before crumbling it and dropping it on his plate. "You might not believe it, but I actually do sometimes miss the food from back home. Especially the curry."

"I wouldn't know what to think if you didn't miss the food occasionally," Kaiba remarked, "It only makes sense that you should. But you don't need to assure me you'll eat ramen for my comfort. I shouldn't be surprised at this point that your preference for American food is stronger than mine."

"Hmm? Then what do you eat most of the time then, Kaiba?"

"Japanese food," Kaiba replied, unsure why that wouldn't be obvious. "If I get American food, I stay away from fast food like burgers or those breaded chicken things they serve all over the place…"

He paused, watching Jonouchi for a reaction. He only seemed as if he was genuinely interested in Kaiba's response, which was odd. Not odd because Jonouchi wasn't always listening with that intention, but because Kaiba had only found people listening to him with that type of interest when he was speaking to his brother. It was odd to think that someone was actually absorbing information about him solely because they were curious.

"I don't dislike Western food as the occasional change in my diet, but I overwhelmingly prefer what I was familiar with back at home. That might seem strange to you, since you've evidently fallen in love with the United States, but I guess I'm less receptive to change."

"Apparently so," marveled Jonouchi with amused looking bright eyes. He looked like he was trying really hard not to smirk. "I'm not in love with all of this, but I like my life here and I don't feel like going back to what I had in Domino City anytime soon."

Kaiba stopped to think about that-not exactly intentionally, but his mind immediately started picking apart that information and wouldn't stop until his train of thought reached the end of the line. In that context, it only made sense that Jonouchi would much prefer America to living in Domino. Here in California, he blended in with the people around him in both features and stature, his personality was perfectly normal and amicable by American standards, he was able to work a manual job that paid him enough to live a decent life...and his perplexing tastes were almost completely un-noteworthy.

Jonouchi had stood to gain a lot from moving to California. Kaiba's business certainly had an advantage here, but Kaiba himself couldn't have felt more out of place. Nothing about him was right for his new "home", and nothing about it was right for him. He'd think of it as being like jamming an ill-fitted piece into a jigsaw, but he wasn't even trying to make it fit-poorly or otherwise. It would be a waste of time and energy. All he could do was put up until he could leave. If he could. It would be a while; he was well aware of that.

"Unsurprisingly, I'm the opposite," he replied at last. He'd been silent for several seconds. He wondered, fleetingly, if his pauses to contemplate were putting Jonouchi off, but he showed no physical indications that they were. "There are certain things I like here. Mainly my low profile, but that won't last after the first championship the company holds. I also enjoy that people here seem less involved with getting into my business, but that could change too. Mainly I'm just uncomfortable. This is an improper environment for me, and I'm having more difficulty adapting than I'd hoped."

"You don't sound like you're very happy to be here," Jonouchi answered seriously. "Maybe if you were, your perspective would change. If I were you, I'd be ecstatic about not being photographed by fans all over town and just being a normal human being outside of work. I'd get tired of paparazzi following me around everyday."

"It was extremely tiring," Kaiba agreed, frowning, "It's nice not worrying about being assailed by paparazzi or even fans everywhere I go. It's the reason I can have days like today. But I doubt that will be the case as much after I start hosting events. I doubt it will be the same as in Japan, but celebrity is taxing anywhere you go."

"I don't think people care as much here though," shrugged Jonouchi. "This is California. Celebrities live all over the place. Besides, you're more businessman than showman now. Besides kids, who's really gonna get all that excited over a gaming CEO?"

"You have a point," Kaiba admitted, making sure his surprise didn't come out in his tone. He wasn't accustomed to Jonouchi making logical sense. Then again, he hadn't interacted much with Jonouchi before, and when he had, he'd been intentionally getting his back up. "It will be nice being able to live regularly day to day. Aside from securing my place of residence, I probably won't have to worry about my personal life and space being invaded."

He stopped for a moment to think about that, then sighed.

"Even so, I don't know if it's an equal exchange for the downsides. I don't have much choice but to tolerate it, if not, but I'm not looking forward to it either."

"Living here can't really be that awful," sighed Jonouchi. "I mean I get it, you aren't used to the people here and the culture is different. Food here is nothing like home and people don't act as politely as they do back at home," admitted Jonouchi, "but there's a lot of great things about being here, too. I think you're just not ready to see that. You are so stuck on the past Kaiba, instead of enjoying all the new changes you have here.

"Like the fact you no longer have screaming fan girls following you around everywhere like you're some rockstar."

"I'll readily admit that I am grateful for at least that change," Kaiba smirked, "I'm aware that there's a certain level of envy directed toward me by other men, but the ever-present legion of screaming fans got old immediately."

Mokuba had once told him, in good humor, that it was picky of him to want fame and, to an extent, acknowledgement and attention, but resent the fandom surrounding him. Kaiba wasn't sure how much he agreed with that. He wasn't necessarily upset that people were his fans. He just preferred to be in control of when he entertained them. In the context of showmanship, he was an exhibitionist, and didn't much enjoy being made an exhibit instead.

Kaiba glanced at his food for a few seconds as he mulled over Jonouchi's words. Normally he might have dismissed them, but being accused of getting hung up on the past struck a chord with him. He prided himself on looking forward. It was how he'd survived up to now, after all. He had systematically destroyed anything that held him back from resolving his issues with his past, and promptly continued with his life. He kept his eyes on the horizon of the road forward.

Was it possible he was being so bitter that he was breaking his own most important principle?

"Yeah well, I don't envy you," Jonouchi answered. It broke him from his thoughts. That may have been for the best-at this rate, he wasn't going to formulate a reply anytime soon.

"I'm glad," he replied, allowing himself to be wholly honest rather than applying a snide tone to his speech. "I find it refreshing."

He was competitive to a fault. But that didn't mean he never wanted to have a conversation without someone blatantly eyeing his throne.

"I'm genuinely curious, though-" he began slowly, trying not to sound as hesitant as he felt. "-Why are you so concerned about my discomfort with America? I appreciate your efforts to help me reconcile with it, but really it's not something you have any reason to worry about."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Jonouchi said, shaking his head and smiling, "I know you don't like it, but we do hang out, so that makes you my friend. And I care about my friends, even the prickly ones, so I care about you and your adjustment to living here.

"Besides, you know me best of anyone else who I hang out with in this city, so that's something worth caring about, too. I can't you taking off to leave me here by myself."

Kaiba blinked silently at Jonouchi several times before turning his gaze toward his virtually untouched food for the sake of not being too awkward. Friends? When did they become friends? What even signified that? Was it Jonouchi dumping a drink on him? Or when Kaiba asked him to come to the park? When? And how did Jonouchi reach that conclusion? Kaiba thought it reasonable to say they were friendly acquaintances-as friendly as he knew how to be with an acquaintance, anyway. But friends was an oddly repellant title in his mind.

More than anything, he wanted to know why Jonouchi even wanted to be friends with him. They didn't exactly have a history that made a good foundation for friendship, and even now Kaiba knew he didn't have the most attractive personality. Jonouchi even genuinely wanted him to stick around, which was odd. Yes, they had a longer history than with anyone in America, but he doubted Jonouchi didn't have more pleasant friends and acquaintances here in California.

"...Fair enough," he replied somewhat noncommittally as he realized the silence was wearing on. He deliberately kept his confusion out of his voice, and hopefully off his face. "It's strange that you would extend that level of consideration to me, but I'm not ungrateful. Still...you don't need to worry about it. It's my own problem, and I'll sort it out. America is far from the most threatening foe I've had to face."

"Why is it even a foe at all?" Jonouchi shrugged. "I've never had a problem living here. It's not that bad. People are a little rough around the edges, but most people are pretty nice once you get to talking to them. They aren't fake like back in Domino..."

"Fake?" Kaiba repeated, frowning in thought. "I don't know if fake is the word I would use. But I do agree that people are are quite a bit less...subtle. There aren't so many layers to peel back before finding out who it is you're dealing with. I admire that more at some times than others. Usually it's somewhat overwhelming."

Kaiba found himself frequently torn between appreciating the open speech and friendliness surrounding him, and feeling invaded by it. If he was still a teenager, he'd just be offended. Unguarded words and bursting friendliness was a good description for Jonouchi, and during their teen years, that had done nothing but aggravate him. Now he found it almost relieving. A small part of him suggested that he valued Jonouchi's very American behavior more because he was still Japanese, but he shushed that voice. He didn't have time to mull that over just now.

"It's not so much that I feel this country is a villain," he explained, "But it's a challenge. I have to adapt, whether I like it or not. It's not liking it that makes adapting difficult. Maybe time will make things easier."

He'd probably never feel at home in America, but he was accustomed to that sensation. Besides, Jonouchi was right about the fact that it wasn't really bad, but it was different. And Kaiba didn't want things to be different. But if he could adapt to life after his adoption into the Kaiba legacy, then he could nut up and endure the United States at some point.

"I hope so, too," smiled Jonouchi. He had finished off his food spectacularly, sucking up the dredges of his milkshake with a straw until he was just swallowing air. "I want to go on the ferris wheel," he announced once he was finished, "So I can get an entire look of the park. Can we?"

"If you'd like," Kaiba replied a bit absently, "Don't you want to visit a horror ride first? I seem to recall you were determined to see one."

"Oh right," laughed Jonouchi, "I got distracted."

"Distracted…?" Kaiba repeated quietly in disbelief. Jonouchi had been so set on the horror rides. Had he really forgotten? Maybe he would have remembered it later at some inopportune time. Kaiba shook his head. "Well, if you're finished eating, we can leave now."

He hadn't done much with his own food, mainly because he hadn't been thinking about it. It didn't matter-if he was hungry later, it wasn't like he wouldn't be able to eat. He dumped what was left of his dish in the trash and led the way toward his personal favorite horror ride once Jonouchi had disposed of his cup and other garbage.

Kaiba was somewhat astonished by Jonouchi's reaction to the horror ride. He'd been set on going to one, but when they got there he acted like he wanted to bolt. He got irritated when Kaiba asked him if he wanted to leave, however. That didn't stop him from shaking in his boots and hollering at the holograms and actors alike that jumped and crept to scare him. At one point he was so thoroughly spooked by a zombie hologram that he went sprinting ahead of Kaiba, yelling, in order to escape. Kaiba hadn't run for anything in over five years and didn't intend to run after him. Remarkably, Jonouchi waited ahead despite his obvious anxiety.

Throughout the ride, Kaiba wondered at Jonouchi's behavior, though he was smart enough not to comment in the middle of it all. He knew Jonouchi to be a spaz, but not a coward. He didn't ever seem to be easily frightened or intimidated. So why would a spooky house he knew was fake get to him this way? And why did he want to go in if it did?

He concluded that Jonouchi was just extremely interactive with the ride. He was treating everything in it like it was real and letting his imagination augment the frights. Kaiba couldn't be sure if it was intentional or not.

When the exit door was in sight, Jonouchi whooped in celebration and went running out before Kaiba could warn him about the final actor who was waiting on the other side. He couldn't help laughing quietly to himself when he heard Jonouchi yelp somewhere around the corner, but he masked his amusement when he caught up. The actor outside the exit was smart enough to back off when he realized the guest leaving the ride was his employer.

"Are you alright there?" Kaiba asked, trying his very best not to smirk. "I'd hate to think I gave you grey hairs."

"I'm fine!" Jonouchi shout out, his hands in front of his face as he tried fixing his hair nervously. "I love haunted houses. But haunted houses don't love me."

"Maybe you should love them from a distance," Kaiba suggested, his grasp on his expression slowly failing. "I'm glad to see that the ride serves its purpose, but it seems like the simulation ran away with you."

He was leading them away from the ride as he spoke. Jonouchi still appeared shaken, and it was for the best that it was still at least a little light. The sun was on its way to disappearing behind the horizon, but the light stretched far longer in California. As they walked, the sound of people shrieking inside the horror ride faded away quickly and allowed normality to take its place. Kaiba turned to Jonouchi as they strolled.

"Are you ready for the ferris wheel?" He asked, looking over Jonouchi's appearance. He seemed to be pulling himself back together.

"Of course," answered Jonouchi enthusiastically, "Why wouldn't I be? I want to see the park from the sky this time. Then you can point out everything to me."

"If you think you want to hear me yammer on like that, then sure," Kaiba grumbled. They weren't far from the ferris wheel, so he picked up the pace to get them there faster. Once night fell in earnest, the ride would be saturated with couples trying to get on as some romantic gesture. Kaiba would rather be in a carriage and on his way to the top before he had to know how many people around him were doing naughty things.

The ferris wheel wasn't difficult to find. It wasn't the same as the duel dome in mass, but it surpassed it by far in stature. He heard Jonouchi's step change as they neared it, because he was gazing upward to marvel at the wheel. Kaiba cleared his throat to get his attention when the ride operator stepped aside to let them in, and they climbed into a carriage together.

Jonouchi already seemed excited as the wheel started to turn. Kaiba glanced out the carriage window at the forming line outside. It was getting dark now, but that was what brought out the best side of the ferris wheel-the lights. There were lights all along the beams that held it together, as well as icicle lights pleasantly dangling at the front of the carriage. It provided enough light to see, but not enough to see too well. And, as was an advantage for couples, it was much too dark to see into other peoples' compartments.

The major disadvantage, in Kaiba's opinion, was the size of the things. He and Jonouchi were smashed against their respective sides of the bench, and it was still hard to prevent their knees from touching. Kaiba didn't like the sensation; when it happened accidentally, they both quickly adjusted, but he still felt as if there was contact. It was uncomfortable and distracting. Even in the United States, his legs were simply too long to be properly accommodated.

"See anything that catches your eye?" asked Kaiba as the ferris wheel's ascension revealed more and more glowing objects beneath them.

"I don't know," mumbled Jonouchi, "the park is pretty big. Much bigger than the one in Japan. It's as big as DisneyLand. Have you ever been there?"

"Of course I've been to KaibaLand Japan," Kaiba joked, though he realized from Jonouchi's expression that his tone had been so similar to his usual dryness that the humor didn't get through. He hummed. "No. I haven't gone to DisneyLand. I know most things about it, but I haven't ever felt the need to go."

"Why not?"

"Because the physical park isn't important to me," Kaiba explained, shaking his head as he looked out toward the now-lit duel dome. "It was the idea of it that inspired this place. Mokuba and I don't want DisneyLand. We wanted something of our own."

He stopped speaking, though he realized it probably seemed abrupt. The only person he spoke to about that closely-held dream was Mokuba, it's co-creator. It was something so intimate that he felt almost shy so much as hinting at it with someone else. In all likelihood, it would sound stupid anyhow. Much as their dream had inspired a glorious and well-received amusement park, the idea behind it had been conceived by children.

"It could still be fun to just see it. Even if it's not that important to you. Aren't you just a tad curious about it, Kaiba?" Jonouchi tilted his head. "Maybe you'd be surprised by seeing something you like."

"Such as what?" Kaiba shrugged. "I'm perfectly satisfied with my own creation. When I'm in the mood to be in an amusement park, I can come here and not be frustrated by the themes or decorations, or the fact that nothing is to my tastes. I much prefer Duel Monsters to Disney, anyway."

"Hmm," Jonouchi murmured, "I guess I'll just have to take myself then." He made a face, between an amused grin and a smirk, before looking away towards the openness of the sky. "Maybe Mokuba would like to see it, too. I bet you've never asked him."

"I haven't," Kaiba confirmed, "He never expressed an interest. Then again, the Disney attractions available in Japan are on the lackluster side, comparatively…"

His brow furrowed as he thought that over. He and Mokuba had mentioned DisneyLand a lot in comparison to their wishes for their park, but had never actually discussed taking a trip there. He'd have to bring it up next time they talked. Just in case.

"When you asked me about DisneyLand, I didn't realize it was with the intention of having me take you there. You know I don't have the same power there as in this park, right?" Kaiba asked, his mouth curving slightly in amusement. "And I'm not so sure I could even get a VIP pass, since technically I'm a competitor."

"I think they'd show off if they knew you were coming," laughed Jonouchi. "Disney might be your competitor, but I'm sure they are just a little charmed that you got your inspiration from them. I'm sure their CEO is curious about you. You're just too proud to go over there."

"Shh, it's a secret," Kaiba scolded facetiously, "I can't have people finding out I'm proud."

He paused and sighed, crossing his arms. It was only Autumn, but desert nights were cold. He turned his gaze out at the park rather than continue staring at Jonouchi.

"Even if I was interested in going to a Disney park-which I'm not sure I am-it would feel like...a stunt. I would have to decide whether I want to deal with the inevitable public response, no matter how small or large that would be."

He looked back at Jonouchi, who was remarkably still listening intently. Kaiba paused to think for a moment before he continued.

"Have you been to a Disney park, Jonouchi?" He asked curiously. If the answer to that was no, then it might explain Jonouchi's evident desire to go. Kaiba could understand that. Of course DisneyLand was a nice park, and just about everyone had a positive opinion of it. Disney was insanely popular in Japan, too, and since Jonouchi had lived a more normal childhood, he probably loved it about as much as anyone else.

"Of course I've been to one," laughed Jonouchi rather loudly, like Kaiba had said a silly thing. "It was one of the first things I did after moving here. I never got the chance to see the park in Tokyo, so I saw the one here. I've been twice, the first time alone and the second time on a date."

"Oh? Well, maybe if Mokuba decides he wants to go, then you can take us," Kaiba suggested, though he was mainly joking. If it came to that, he would just get them all passes and be done with it. He didn't have the patience for lines and he had the resources to get the best treatment. "It might be interesting to have you as the tour guide."

"Only if you're paying me to," snickered Jonouchi back.

"Heh. I'll buy you lunch instead, how about that?"

Jonouchi made a sound that was a mix between amusement and offense. "I have to deal with two Kaibas and you're just offering me a free lunch? Try again."

"Hmm," Kaiba smirked to himself, then turned his gaze on Jonouchi again. "I'll buy you lunch and behave myself. And get whatever you want at the souvenir shop."

He had souvenir shops in the KaibaLand park, which were priced higher than the average clothing outlet would be, but still couldn't hold a candle to what Disney and Universal charged. Not that Kaiba was trying to compete. It wasn't very businesslike of him, but he preferred to think that people who came into the park could buy things for their children to leave with, and not lose the rest of their rent money in the process.

Kaiba looked at Jonouchi, who had leaned forward on the rail in front of them and was looking out at the park. It occurred to him that it was extremely strange for the day to have gone so smoothly. There hadn't been anything even close to what might be called a spat, and Kaiba couldn't recall any point that his feathers had been particularly ruffled. Overall, it had been a remarkably comfortable experience-enjoyable, if he was going to be gracious.

Not long ago, spending more time with Jonouchi than was absolutely necessary would have had him half-mad with irritation, just from the other man's presence. Now he was actively pursuing Jonouchi's time and attention. And, more unbelievable than that, he was happy with Jonouchi's time and attention. Jonouchi was smart enough to have a conversation with, unexpectedly quick-witted, and better-mannered than Kaiba remembered. Not necessarily polite, but not embarrassing to be with.

His thoughts led him to worry that maybe he shouldn't put so much consideration into it. There was no guarantee he'd be able to make a repeat event happen. For all he knew, Jonouchi was less enthusiastic about the whole thing than he was. But it would be humiliating and unappealing to ask about it, so he'd just have to guess.

Kaiba resolved that he'd have to find a way to get Jonouchi to spend time with him again. The prospect of not doing so was extremely worrying, much as he hated to admit it. He liked to think he was self-sufficient enough not to need things like company. He liked his space. He liked his solitude. But, it seemed, he didn't like isolation. Jonouchi alleviated that, even more than phone calls with Mokuba or being swarmed by coworkers all week could. Ridiculous as he felt, he couldn't deny that whatever Jonouchi had introduced to him-something he would probably call friendship-was something he needed.

"What do you do in your spare time?" Kaiba asked. Maybe the question had been sudden-Jonouchi seemed a bit startled by his voice. "When you aren't at the bar, I mean."

"I don't know," Jonouchi laughed, "usually I'm either at the bar or at the garage. I don't really do much else. I'm a mechanic, so my budget isn't that great and I'm trying to save for dueling tournaments again. Why do you ask? You've never cared about what I did before, so excuse me for being a little surprised by your question."

He gave Kaiba a strange look, bumping him in the knee with his own as if trying to hurry Kaiba for an answer. Kaiba tried to move his knee out of range, but it was impossible due to the space constraints.

"You've mentioned before that you enjoy the nightlife here," Kaiba shrugged, masking the nervousness he felt when he saw that Jonouchi only found it stranger. "It occurred to me that, in the spirit of getting on better terms with America, I should ask you where to start."

FIVE MONTHS FORWARD

People were likely accustomed by now to Kaiba half-listening to them. Normally, it would be solely out of disinterest. Tonight, it was because his interest was concentrated on something more worthwhile.

He had no plans to approach Jonouchi at the party. There was nothing for him to say, and if there was, he was too concerned with avoiding contact to say it. Instead, he drifted around the room in solitude with a drink in his hand he refused to touch lest drunkenness make his mental fortitude waver. Delegates and competitors alike tried to approach him, and he humored the latter more than the former, but ultimately he just wanted to be left alone to pretend he was engaged with something.

Even as he was trying to seem like he wasn't paying attention, he designated a good portion of his awareness to Jonouchi's position all evening. He cautiously watched him when he was alone, then felt himself burn somewhere near simmering temperature anytime someone approached him. Jonouchi, of course, was friendly with everyone and did a lot of laughing and smiling. What about, Kaiba didn't know. He intentionally placed himself at the opposite side of whatever part of the room Jonouchi was in, maintaining the same distance when possible.

Eventually, Kaiba sat at a table that was not out of sight, but was positioned in such a way that no one wanted to be there or really take note of it. It was only then that he started drinking, knowing that he was most likely going to stay seated in the corner when alcohol got into him. He knew some people took note of him and wanted to approach, but the ever-deepening scowl on his face scared them away. It wasn't intentional; he frowned without thinking about it when Jonouchi got caught up for a good half hour with the same duelist.

Eventually, Jonouchi was alone again, and looked around the room before finding Yugi. The two of them greeted each other happily, then got caught up in what looked like deep conversation. Kaiba couldn't imagine what about. Probably dueling. Jonouchi had won a Kaiba Corporation championship. That would be one hell of a boost to his career. He'd already been approached by several prospective sponsors that evening.

It had occurred to Kaiba immediately after Jonouchi's victory that he could sponsor him, but he was forcing the thought from his mind. Why should he do something like that? Jonouchi was good, he would tell anyone that much. But given their personal relationship, he didn't see the merit in being Jonouchi's friend, and bed buddy when he felt like it, and the source of his income.

Actually, in that context, it began to sound a bit trashy.

So no, Kaiba wasn't going to sponsor him. After refilling his drink glass a few times, he was starting to think maybe he shouldn't really interact with Jonouchi at all. He probably shouldn't have got himself into this mess to begin with. Jonouchi wasn't making it clear where they stood, and Kaiba wasn't going to ask him to-for various reasons, mostly bad-so why keep torturing himself over it?

He sighed when he looked at Jonouchi, who was laughing at something Yugi had said. He looked good. He was dressed smartly, even though he wasn't any fancier than business casual (and that was a stretch). His hair was neat and looked soft. His hazel eyes lit up every time he grinned or started laughing.

Kaiba groaned quietly and sat upright with his eyes shut. He didn't want to be seen slumping in distress in public, especially at an after-party for his company's tournament. Which, gladly, had gone very well. But of course his stupid little affair he had with Jonouchi was overshadowing that. He was just happy Mokuba couldn't see him in this state. He'd be too ashamed. Mortified, even.

What would Mokuba even say? Not that Kaiba ever intended for him to find out. There was nothing for him to find out, save for the fact that he'd done weird, dirty things with another man. Which he would never tell his brother-or anyone-about, so that point was moot. Kaiba could tolerate telling him he was in a relationship with a man. Mokuba could probably get past that. The entire issue was that he wasn't in a relationship... He was occasionally fooling around with a friend he obsessed over.

He gritted his teeth in frustration, not even at Jonouchi as much as himself. Why couldn't he just move on? When did he turn into some clingy, obsessive nutcase? Jonouchi wasn't the only person in the world he could pursue, was he? If he was smart, Kaiba would have just abandoned the entire situation and found a woman to pursue, and neither of them would have to deal with his shit.

But he knew that wasn't an option for him. He'd never even thought about doing the things he'd done with Jonouchi with a woman, and definitely not with a man. He could barely stand the company of most people, much less want to get into sexual situations with them. He hated himself more than a little for it, but he thought about sex with Jonouchi constantly. It was wonderful and awful at the same time. Great to fantasize about, terrible because it wasn't something he could have. Not the way he wanted it, anyway.

He was fairly certain that wanting Jonouchi for himself regardless of the realities made him a bad person, and for once he cared about that fact. Being a bad person had never bothered him much before, if it got the job done. The ends justified the means in his experience. So why couldn't it be the same with this? He wasn't afraid of bulldozing people into doing what he liked.

Then again, he had never "liked" the people he tried to bulldoze before.

He didn't just want Jonouchi to do what he wanted or accept his feelings. If he did that, it would mean nothing, and it wouldn't be very like Jonouchi-which would defeat the point. No, he wanted Jonouchi to feel the same way he did, which was something he couldn't force. That was what made everything so difficult.

His brain reminded him that it wouldn't be difficult if he would just get over it. He'd spent most of his teen years and his adult life since being approached rather aggressively by people who were more worthy. He couldn't recall an unattractive woman that had pursued him and his wallet, and most of them had been downright smoking hot. They had their own money too, usually, whether old or new. They were educated, worldly, had known names and manners that suited his sensibilities. They were also born and bred Japanese with appropriate eye and hair colors, and standard body types. Not odd-looking little mutts with only part Japanese heritage filled in with what he assumed was exotic white bread.

His mind assailed him with these facts, but they only served to make him feel worse. In that context, he was actively choosing and pursuing what he'd always considered trash despite having every other option available. The worst part was, he wasn't even sorry. He wanted Jonouchi. It didn't make any goddamn sense, and it was a terrible decision, but that was the way it was. Yes, he was loud, half-bred, broke and uneducated, not to mention male, but Kaiba also knew he was real. He hadn't had any surgical procedures, he didn't get anywhere except on his own merits, he worked hard with the faculties he had, and he had a genuine smile.

And, admittedly, him being male didn't turn out to be especially painful to the eyes. Even if it was going to make a mess of Kaiba's reputation for a while if anyone found out.

"Hey Kaiba-kun!"

Kaiba was so astonished that he jumped in his seat, nearly snapping out of his drunkenness due to shock. His knee hit the table and almost knocked over his drink, which he clutched protectively to rescue. He looked toward the source of the sound, his expression somewhere between surprise and irritation. He relaxed marginally when he saw it was Yugi beside him, but he immediately started wondering how he'd been so absorbed that he couldn't see him coming. His hair alone should have been one hell of a flag.

"Good evening," he replied. His voice sounded tired. He really wasn't, but the alcohol was making him lethargic.

"Do you mind if I join you," asked Yugi with a polite smile, "I wasn't sure if you were open to having company, but I'd like it if I could talk to you for a little while. We have a lot of catching up to do."

"Maybe less than you think," Kaiba scoffed, though he turned a chair for Yugi to sit in. "I haven't been doing anything I wasn't already doing since last we met."

Except I started doing your best friend.

"What have you been up to in Japan?" he asked quickly, feeling as if somehow Yugi might know what he was thinking. "I heard your career really hit the big leagues."

"Haha, yes, I guess you could say that," laughed Yugi. He had a glass of soda in his hand. Despite being a legal adult, Yugi wasn't drinking alcohol. "I've been really busy with tournaments. I have corporate sponsors with some really big names, and I'm just so honored to have so many people's support in my career. I hope Jonouchi gets the same, soon. Looks like he probably will, after this tournament, too."

"I'm sure," Kaiba noted, his expression falling into sour neutrality, but falling short of the true frown he felt. "He's been apprehended several times tonight by sponsors already. He shouldn't have any trouble."

" Are you not interested in him, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi blinked, his face unreadable. Kaiba couldn't tell if the comment was just curiosity or if he was seeking something.

"Hmm," he grumbled, turning away from Yugi and sipping his drink while he decided how to reply. He settled on being obtuse. "My interest isn't exactly essential. He's got plenty of that without my help."

Yugi nodded, although he didn't seem sated with that answer. "How long do you plan to stay in America?"

"As long as necessary," Kaiba replied hesitantly, trying to analyze the question. It wasn't a strange thing for someone to ask him while catching up, per se. It did seem strange coming from Yugi, though. It almost seemed like small talk compared to what they could be discussing. "Mokuba is running the Japan branch of the company, and I'm keeping things steady here. This is my permanent residence until further notice."

"Wow, that's really cool though," Yugi mused, "Mokuba getting to run Kaiba Corporation by himself. You must be so proud. And he must be enjoying himself, having that seat of power." Yugi sipped on his soda, his mouth a tiny smile. "I've thought about moving here myself."

"Why's that?" Kaiba queried, though after knowing Jonouchi, he wasn't surprised as he might have been prior. "Your career is in Japan. Are you looking for a change of pace?"

"Yes," Yugi admitted. "Dueling in Japan is great, but I feel like I know what all there is to be offered there for me now. I want a challenge. America is like the new frontier. Dueling is so new, and there's so many new people to meet and compete against." He sighed, looking over across the room with warm eyes. "Besides, I'd like to live closer to my best friend.

"But as long as I'm taking care of Ojisan, I'll have to stay in Domino. His health is deteriorating, so I need to stay close to home."

"I understand," Kaiba nodded. He supposed he should have expected that eventually Sugoroku would reach a stage in life that was closer to death. It was still weird to talk about, since Yugi had always discussed the old man like he was a fixture rather than an aging relative on his way out. "In the meantime, though, it wouldn't hurt to plan out the move. Changing countries is no small matter. You'll have to find a way to get a visa, as well."

"Haha, I know, but isn't that a bit morbid to think about?" Yugi shook his head. "No, I'm going to stay in Japan for a while longer. I hope for a long time, in fact. I would rather take care of my family and visit when I can."

"That's the most important thing," Kaiba agreed, though his voice was quiet. He was displeased with his own low volume. It made him sound uncertain. "With the amount of sponsorship Jonouchi is looking at, it wouldn't surprise me if he could afford the occasional flight home, either."

"Yeah, but he's happy here. I don't want to bother him with that."

Kaiba didn't know how to argue that, or whether he should, but he didn't have a chance to think it over. His attention had strayed back to Jonouchi, and he noticed immediately when he started talking with a young man who didn't appear to be a duelist. He wasn't dressed to the nines, either, so he probably wasn't a delegate. He might be press, or someone's guest. Whatever he was, he had Jonouchi's very positive attention.

He hoped that the rather ugly emotions he was feeling weren't on his face, because he was sure Yugi would mention it and want an explanation. Kaiba was too drunk to avoid training his eyes on Jonouchi and the man he was with as they laughed with unreasonable frequency and had short bouts of grinning conversation. His eyes widened when they left the room entirely to go do god-knew-what. Kaiba had to consciously stop his jaw from dropping.

"I need a refill," he excused himself and stood. He wasn't lying. He definitely needed a refill, but more than that he needed a smoke. He couldn't do that here, though, and standing outside alone inhaling poisonous chemicals wasn't going to help him long term. So instead, he filled his drink glass to the top and sat in a crowd drinking poisonous liquid. Ah, well. If Mokuba were here, he'd much prefer Kaiba drank than smoked. Kaiba often argued it was the same difference, and they often debated about it, but Mokuba usually won with the logic that smoking caused worse breath than liquor.

Kaiba broodily drank down the stinging alcohol on his way back to the table. Why would Jonouchi run off with some stranger on a night like this? When he was supposed to be basking in the limelight of a victory in Kaiba's tournament? It might be halfway excusable if the stranger hadn't been so ugly, but either Kaiba was dead wrong about what went on, or Jonouchi's taste had severely deteriorated. Or he was desperate. None of those options seemed likely, though.

"Kaiba-kun, are you also staying at the hotel tonight?"

Kaiba was pulled from his internal tantrum by Yugi's voice. At first, he was going to frown disapprovingly at the nosy question, but he realized what he meant before a negative response could manifest. He was sobered slightly by the concern.

"I don't need to," Kaiba assured him. "I have a penthouse in town, and I have staff who can take me home on occasions like this."

Occasions like watching Jonouchi run off to swap fluids with someone else. Kaiba emptied his glass. He needed another drink. He was aware of Yugi trailing after him while he went to get it. Maybe he should just stay where the drinks were. It would be more efficient.

"I'm renting a car," Yugi offered, "I can give you a ride if you'd like. I really wouldn't mind. It would actually be pretty neat getting the chance to see where you live and all."

"Uh…" Kaiba grunted, no longer sober enough to care about whether or not he showed hesitation. He wasn't sure if it would be worse for his staff to see him as a drunken mess, or Yugi. Yugi wouldn't judge or go spreading it around, but it might be more embarrassing. Short-term, anyway. If Isono was here, Kaiba would have said no in a heartbeat. But there was no one around that he trusted more. Now that Jonouchi had run off…

"I don't see why not," he agreed, though he was frowning due to the turn his thoughts had taken. He chased his statement with another drink. He felt guilty momentarily for getting shitfaced when Yugi was trying to catch up with him. He probably felt blown off. Kaiba would have to make amends later on, for the sake of being respectful. He was making enough of an ass of himself that it bugged him. Only for a moment, but still.

When they got on the road, Kaiba started to doze off. Yugi's voice was quiet, as usual, and he seemed to be talking at Kaiba more than asking him questions like before. Kaiba only picked up half of what was being said, mostly just talking about all the things that happened since their high school graduation and taking their separate ways. Things Kaiba was slightly curious about, but he was too intoxicated to really take it all in.

"Ojisan has had a stroke," Yugi continued, "but a really mild one. My mother has been with him since then, and he's still trying to take care of the shop." Yugi laughed a little at that. "He wants to keep working even though his doctors tell him not to."

"He's smarter than they are," Kaiba remarked. He wasn't a medical professional by any means, but he intended to keep working until he dropped. What was the point in lying around to extend his life if he couldn't feel useful and fulfilled each day? It would be a waste. "He sounds like a capable man."

"I'd like to hope so," Yugi agreed with a laugh. "He seems to think he is. Always by himself at the store, cleaning things that don't need cleaning and making orders. He at least lets me handle picking up the big packages that come to the shop, and he has hired a few kids to help out. I don't want him lifting, but he still tries to when I'm not around."

"Is there a reason he doesn't make the kids do the lifting?" Kaiba queried. "That's the best part of having peons around."

"He's proud."

"Mm. I can't criticize," Kaiba muttered. He wasn't completely past his own attitude of teenage years that he was the one who had to get everything done himself, always. He couldn't be seen as incapable of anything and everything, ever. He could only imagine he'd get worse once his health started failing in old age.

When they reached the penthouse, Kaiba led them to the elevator with some trouble and stumbling. Thankfully he was able to lean against a wall once they got inside-he didn't want to embarrass both of them by using Yugi as a crutch. He started snickering to himself suddenly when he realized Yugi might be too short to make a proper crutch, but he stopped himself quickly. It was a rude thought, and he'd already been too rude to Yugi tonight.

He imagined he wasn't swaying too much as they walked to the door of his penthouse, which he passed once before doubling back and actually getting his hand on the handle. With some trial and error, he was able to get his keys and unlocked the front door. Walking into the dark, he went into his apartment with determination and complete blindness; he heard Yugi shut the door behind him.

"Do you want me to turn on some lights, Kaiba-kun?" Yugi asked.

Kaiba was too drunk to answer. He didn't even stop to take off his shoes; he made a beeline for the steel staircase, making his way up while holding onto the handrail for dear life. Yugi stood behind him, his face concerned until they reached the top. Good thing too, because while Yugi would have made a good cushion to break the fall if he was to lose his balance, Kaiba didn't want to kill him.

When Kaiba found his bedroom, he collapsed onto his bed and didn't remember anything else. He was out cold, before his head could hit the pillow. Without his knowledge, Yugi helped him out of his coat and took off his shoes, getting him under the blankets and making sure he was stuck on his stomach before leaving the room.

Kaiba had found himself trapped in restless dreams.

Chapter Text

Kaiba woke up with a hangover. It was a strange sensation; he was usually very careful about not allowing himself to get so far as to feel the full effects of drinking the morning after. Opening his eyes, he could only see blotches of light at first, the whiteness of the bedroom blinding before he rubbed his eyes with his hands and tried blinking.

“What happened to you last night, Nii-sama?” said a very familiar voice, “got hit with the fun too hard?”

Kaiba grumbled. His temples were pulsing and he could feel a migraine approaching. His throat was also parch; did he even try taking care of himself the night before?

“Mokuba, what are you doing here?” Kaiba tried to say, but his words slurred into a sort of ugly growl, his tongue like leather sticking to the roof of his mouth.

“I came home early to see you,” Mokuba laughed, “and to check up on you. You used to take care of me when I was younger, so now that you’re an old man, it’s time I start taking care of you.”

“I’m not an old man...”

Kaiba tried to crawl out of the bed, but everything hurt too much. He collapsed onto the mattress, only then realizing that he was still wearing most of his clothes. At first, he couldn’t even remember clearly about how he got home, but then he remembered ignoring Jonouchi all night... and Yugi got him home.

Of all humiliations.

“Don’t act so scandalized, I know you go out and drink, Nii-sama,” laughed Mokuba again as he flashed a smile and shook his head, “You’ve been knocking back imported scotch since I was sixteen. Probably before then, too.”

“My best ideas came when I wasn’t sober,” admitted Kaiba. He worked on taking off his shirt before flipping onto his stomach, lying right on top of his pillow and hugging it with both arms. “I feel more free and open without the constraints of sobriety. I don’t have to worry about what is earthly possible while I’m drunk.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve gone out before.”

Mokuba grinned before taking a seat by Kaiba’s side. He was so grown looking. Kaiba didn’t know just how to feel about that. When they were children, Kaiba once told Mokuba that he would be his father, and for many years, that’s how the relationship worked. Mokuba had been so young, and Kaiba thought he knew what he needed to know to take care of them.
Unfortunately, he didn’t, but he did the best he could given the circumstances, and Mokuba always understood.

Now though, the dynamic was changing. It made Kaiba’s stomach flip when he thought about it. Mokuba was a young man with his own life across the Pacific Ocean, back home in Domino City, Japan. He was maintaining their flagship corporate office while living life as the city’s richest bachelor. Kaiba could only imagine what that entailed.

Although when he had been in Mokuba’s shoes, he’d done a whole lot of nothing. Mokuba was just as private as him, so maybe he kept mostly to himself, too. Kaiba could dream, at last.

“So what happened last night,” Mokuba teased, “You look like you were lucky to find your way home. You got to have an interesting story to tell.” Mokuba stroked Kaiba’s head of hair once playfully with his hand, stopping when Kaiba half-heartedly slapped it away.

“Come on, tell me,” he pressed, “I can tell that you’re still wearing your nice event clothes. You didn’t get drunk at home.”

Kaiba sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. “All right, fine. I’ll tell you what happened.” Or rather, the abridged version of his night. Mokuba did not need to know about his pining for Jonouchi while at the party. Sure, Mokuba might one day figure out (because Mokuba always figured out everything) his increasing fascination with the popular blond duelist, but Kaiba was determined to keep his secrets for as long as possible. Even if that meant keeping his little brother of all people left in the dark.

“I drank too much at a party,” Kaiba explained neutrally. “Afterwards, Mutou Yugi took me home. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Mokuba laughed loudly, hugging his own sides as his face completely lit up with shock, his grey eyes enlarged. “That’s it? Nii-sama, I’m so surprised. You actually allowed Yugi to get you back home? Maybe he really is your friend after all.”

“I hardly think that word is an appropriate term.”

Mokuba rolled his eyes as Kaiba pretended not to notice.

“Was there anyone else interesting there?” Mokuba inquired. “I think I’ll be visiting for just a week, that’s all the big office could spare me. You’d think being my own boss, I’d be able to take a proper vacation. Now I feel the pain you felt for all those years before,” Mokuba yawned.

“It was a dull party,” Kaiba answered, “No one of interest was there.” It wasn’t a lie, since Jonouchi wasn’t a person of interest. At least, not for Mokuba. Kaiba wanted to pretend that he wasn’t interesting to him, either, but that was so far from the truth.

“But Yugi was there. I wonder what he was doing here?”

“There was a competition that he came to watch,” said Kaiba.

“But he came all the way from Japan?” Mokuba shook his head. “Nii-sama, I know you are hiding information from me. You’re a terrible liar.”

“I haven’t lied,” Kaiba pointed out, “anything else you’re looking to accuse me of doing?”

“Don’t get upset.” Mokuba chided as he got up, opening the door to the bedroom and standing in the middle of the door frame, “I’ll get you some water. If you shower up, I’ll take you to breakfast and then we can discuss how you want to spend the rest of your week since your dear little brother has finally came over to visit you. Sound like a plan, Nii-sama?”

“Yes,” Kaiba stressed, “sounds like a plan.”

He did as Mokuba dictated, as odd as that was to think of himself. Not to say he’d never listened to Mokuba--in fact, Mokuba took strong stances with him so infrequently that Kaiba couldn’t recall a time that he’d deemed it appropriate to decline. But it was odd to be cared for, especially for such embarrassing reasons.

As he fixed his hair after his shower, he tried to predict what Mokuba’s line of questioning might be. He had a feeling his little brother didn’t plan to let the subject of the night before drop. He was being lighthearted about it, but Kaiba knew how discussions like this tended to go with them. Mokuba would facetiously press until Kaiba was visibly upset, and then would start asking in earnest, and Kaiba didn’t have the heart to chase Mokuba off his line of questioning with the silent glare he’d use on others.

So, with what presence of mind he’d managed to regain, he determined that he’d act as unaffected by the situation as possible in the hope that Mokuba would lose interest in his investigation. Besides, they had time to spend together for the first time in far too long--why start it by playing interrogation games?

“I’m functional,” Kaiba announced as he left his bathroom, straightening his button-up, “or at least appear to be.”

“And how do you feel?” asked Mokuba innocently. “Well enough to go out and eat?”

“I’m groggy, not sick,” Kaiba grumbled, “and breakfast would probably be the best thing for me right now.”

“Okay, great!” Mokuba answered. He left the room with Kaiba following after him, grabbing his coat and keys. “I’ll drive, as long as you don’t try getting all bossy on me. Not that I think you could do much better right now,” laughed Mokuba as he opened the door to the hallway. Kaiba grumbled in response. “The cafe isn’t that far from here, you’ll like it.”

The drive was silent. Mokuba was a fast but very careful driver, so Kaiba tried his hardest not to comment. Instead, he closed his eyes and thought about nothing... or tried to, at least. He was always thinking about something.

Yugi had taken care of him the night before. Should Kaiba even say something to him about it? Show appreciation and thank him or just pretend it never happened in the first place? The Kaiba from five years ago would have put the entire situation in the back of his mind already, however, Kaiba was much older now and he did actually care about what Yugi thought of him.

As much as he hated it, too, he cared about what Jonouchi thought of him. The Jonouchi who never once thought of speaking to him the entire night, but went off to flirt with some nobody at a hotel bar and presumably left with after to go fellatio for shits and giggles.

“Nii-sama, we’re here.” Mokuba interrupted. He parked the car by the side of the street, giving Kaiba a careful glance when he didn’t respond right away. “You’re clenching your jaw. What are you thinking about?”

“How much I dislike parties,” he replied, hoping he at least didn’t sound evasive. It was true that he wasn’t much one for parties, but he didn’t normally think about them the day after and grit his teeth at the memory. He withheld a sigh as the two of them left the car and stepped onto the sidewalk. He got the impression that Mokuba wasn’t especially convinced, but that was to be expected. He’d been less than forthcoming about his thoughts all morning.

He didn’t take much note of the restaurant they entered. Nothing was offensive to his senses, and due to his busy mind and physical debilitation, he disregarded details. He could smell food and hear coffee brewing, and this was a rare occasion when that meant something to him. He didn’t care what it was, he just wanted some. It occurred to him that he should have given his stomach something to care for itself with the night before, but he hadn’t been thinking about consequences at the time.

At least Mokuba had taken him somewhere he could get breakfast that wouldn’t challenge his comfort zone. There was plenty on the menu, but Kaiba ordered a black breakfast roast, toasted wheat bread, and a fruit bowl with yogurt. Mokuba snickered, probably thinking what he’d always thought--that it was a dull set of selections. Kaiba thought it was perfectly fine. He had functioning taste buds, and didn’t need garbage to make his food enjoyable. That, and he wouldn’t be taking his mind off of his waistline anytime soon.

When he thought about it, the only time he’d really branched out food-wise was when he ate with Jonouchi. Even then it had been on the reluctant side, but it had happened all the same. He wondered if Jonouchi knew that, but wondering only made him upset, so he aggressively abandoned that train of thought before his displeasure could show on his face.

Mokuba ordered a small pile of crepes and coffee for himself. Coffee with creamer. He always had a sweet tooth, and Mokuba grinned when Kaiba raised an eyebrow at his order.

“I didn’t know you even drank coffee...”

“I learned to like it,” admitted Mokuba with a small smile. “It reminded me of you, Nii-sama, after you’d been gone for so long. You’re such an addict.

“But I’m not as strong as you are, so I need some kind of dairy in my cup or else it’s not drinkable.”

“Wean yourself off,” Kaiba suggested, “Or, I guess you can just wait until your body is so accustomed to your usual that you have no choice but to take your coffee black.”

There had been a point, immediately after moving to America, when Kaiba had switched to espresso for “mornings that needed an extra boost”. That quickly became daily espresso, then double, and it wasn’t until he was regularly drinking mochas with fifteen espresso shots that he thought it might be time to detox.

No one had a good week while he was lowering his dose.

“On second thought,” he muttered after returning to the conversation, “Go ahead and stick with your creamer.”

“I will.”

Mokuba ate with the appetite of a teenage boy. It was strange. He was a grown up man now, almost as tall as Kaiba, with the same exact features. His eyes were similar in shape, but more grey than blue, and they had the exact same frame as well. They were so similar, yet Mokuba stood apart from him by being probably one of the happiest people Kaiba had ever been around. He always seemed happy, sometimes for no reason at all.

Not unlike another person Kaiba knew very well...

“Who was at the party last night, Nii-sama? Did someone rattle you?” accused Mokuba. “Tell me, who shook up your sensitive equilibrium?”

“No one in particular,” Kaiba lied outright, trying his damndest to play it cool. “I was celebrating all on my own like I usually do, and I got out of hand.”

Kaiba knew he was losing when Mokuba didn’t speak, but leaned back and crossed his arms with a stubborn and expectant expression instead. As Mokuba continued to watch him silently in disapproval, he felt like he was shrinking internally--much as Mokuba knew he was, that brat--and he set his coffee down with a sigh.

“Your right eye always twitches when you aren’t telling me the truth, Nii-sama.”

Kaiba’s face twisted up in disdain, but he filed that information away for later--now he knew one of the tells, at least. There must be more, though. Mokuba wasn’t stupid enough to tell him how to defend himself in these situations.

He glanced around them in the restaurant to see if anyone was looking at them, or nearby enough to overhear quiet speech if they understood Japanese. Seeing that neither was the case, Kaiba was left with no excuses not to explain himself. He silently stared at his cooling coffee for several seconds first, his elbows on the table. This was the last thing he wanted to deal with, save for Jonouchi himself showing up, but he hoped he’d paid his dues enough that Karma wouldn’t bite him that hard.

“I was upset because Jonouchi Katsuya left the after-party very briskly with a--with a man,” Kaiba tripped slightly while speaking. He’d almost said with another man, but that was not what he wanted to let out of his mouth. He didn’t meet Mokuba’s gaze after speaking.

“And why would that even matter to you?” asked Mokuba incredulously. “I thought of all people, you’d be the least likely to judge. It’s not like Jonouchi’s romantic life is any of your business. I know you got this weird sort of disdain for him going on, but seriously Nii-sama, you’re old and it’s kinda ridiculous.”

Mokuba stared at Kaiba, who wouldn’t look him in the eyes. They were at an awkward impasse as Mokuba sipped his drink, swirling his mug as he waited for someone to break. Kaiba knew even before it happened that it would be him--everyone broke under his will, and he broke under Mokuba’s. It was a law of nature. He wasn’t made any stronger by the fact that deep down, he really, really wanted to tell someone. Much as he didn’t want to deal with letting it out in the open, he was sick of stewing alone, and there wasn’t anyone else to tell. Mokuba wouldn’t be in the country for long, and it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have on the phone.

“I--” He began before realizing he had no idea how to begin explaining. Especially if it was going to require words he wouldn’t even say to himself. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been spending time with Jonouchi over the past months, and…”

He trailed off again when he felt his courage failing. Mokuba looked utterly confused, which made him realize that for once his little brother couldn’t read him like a book. That gave him a small sense of victory. It was greatly overshadowed by the conversation, however.

“...At some point I developed feelings for him,” Kaiba finished quietly, sighing as he let his gaze fall to the table. He felt like the words hung in the air after they left his mouth.

Mokuba was silent for short time, drinking quietly, which Kaiba could only assume was because he was processing the confession. His face was unreadable. Surprisingly, Mokuba maintained a complete poker face, gaze never breaking and no emotion betrayed before he inhaled and finally spoke.

“Just because you might have feelings for him though doesn’t mean he owes you something, Nii-sama. It’s not healthy to obsess.”

“I’m aware,” Kaiba replied, frowning, but Mokuba gave him a stern look when he tried to be challenging, so he conceded. “...I’m aware, and it doesn’t change anything. I know better than to think I’m owed.”

His frown deepened into a genuine scowl.

“But I still got very jealous, especially when he ran off with some stranger to--”

He cut himself off abruptly when he realized he was only driving Mokuba’s point home. And embarrassing himself, to boot. What was even happening to him anymore? Surely, he was capable of stopping himself from caring. Even with his feelings for Jonouchi, he shouldn’t care what he did with other people when there was no commitment between them. He felt himself getting sulky again and scarfed some fruit, hoping the sugar and serotonin would stop his thoughts from diving.

“To what, have his own private victory party?” laughed Mokuba. He sighed when Kaiba didn’t laugh, scratching and shaking his head. “I know it sucks, but unless you two actually had something together, he’s not doing anything wrong. You don’t have a reason to be mad at him except for the fact that your feelings got hurt. Which is okay,” Mokuba admitted, “I get hurt when girls blow me off, but there will always be more girls. Jonouchi isn’t the only man in California from Japan, if that’s what you’re after.”

“I’m not after men,” Kaiba huffed, mildly offended. He took a moment to realize why. It wasn’t because Mokuba assumed he liked men--that was fairly obvious at this point, surprising as it was even to himself--but rather because he was making light of the situation. That realization only made him feel embarrassed. “I’m after Jonouchi. If I were to pursue men or women, Japanese or not, it wouldn’t change the fact that I want him, and that’s why I’m in this mess.”

“Did you ever tell Jonouchi that?” asked Mokuba with a tone of seriousness Kaiba hadn’t heard before. “Does he even know how you feel about him, or did you assume he’d just figure you out?”

Kaiba grumbled in his throat and averted his gaze. It was true he hadn’t told Jonouchi about how strongly he felt. He’d even denied any attachment like that when Jonouchi asked him. It was another thing he had only himself to blame for.

“He doesn’t know much,” Kaiba stated, unwilling to admit to anything explicitly. Mokuba would understand. “I don’t think I should tell him.”

“Why not? He might like you back and you were too self-engrossed to notice,” reasoned Mokuba, “It’s not like you’re an easy person to read. I can only understand you because you are my brother, and poor Jonouchi has tried being your friend in the past, so... maybe you should just be honest with him about your feelings. He’s too nice a person to get stupid about it, Nii-sama.

“And if he doesn’t feel the same way, at least then you’d know and could start working to move on.”

“Your reasoning is sound,” Kaiba agreed, though internally he had all kinds of reasons why he would still struggle to be honest with Jonouchi about it. For starters, he wasn’t sure he could move on, and that was so frightening he was hesitant to even try. There was also the fact that being turned down would be incredibly painful, and he knew it. The thought hurt, so the experience could only be worse.

That said, he still knew Mokuba was right. And with that admitted to himself, his long-held excuses lost weight. A little, at least. It didn’t make the prospect easier to face.

“I mean,” Mokuba asked more quietly, even though no one was around to listen, “do you think there’s a chance that he might feel something for you at all? I mean, if he likes men and he actually likes hanging around with you all the time, that must mean something.” Mokuba gave a goofy grin before sticking out his tongue. “Maybe he thinks you’re ignoring him again.”

Kaiba paled at the thought. He hadn’t even taken into account the idea that Jonouchi might have been interested in him, and was avoiding doing anything revealing because Kaiba had worked so hard not to show romantic attraction. Then he felt his face heat up with a blush because he realized there might have been a lot more to their fooling around than he knew.

It made sense, to an extent. Jonouchi was a hit-and-run lover. It was strange that he’d want that kind of interaction in a long-standing relationship, even if it was allegedly a friendship. Kaiba clasped his hands together on the table in an attempt to look more composed than he was, but he felt torn between hopeful realization and mild horror. Horror because he wondered if he had really been so self-absorbed this entire time that Jonouchi was giving him blatant signs, and he’d missed them.

“Well Nii-sama, why didn’t you talk to Jonouchi at the party if you like him so much?” Mokuba had a silly grin on his face. Kaiba hated him a little bit for it. “I’m sure Yugi wasn’t that much of a distraction.”

“We weren’t on good terms,” he stated. He immediately shook his head and sighed. “I... was avoiding him.”

“Okay, why?”

“A short time ago, we met for breakfast,” he half-lied. They didn’t meet for the breakfast, that was for damn sure. “I told him I liked him as more than a friend.”

“Your eye is twitching again,” Mokuba sighed. He rolled his eyes and finished up his plate of crepes, shaking his head once more. “Okay, I get it, you don’t want to tell your little brother the full honest truth, but you need to man up and face Jonouchi already and stop moping around. I got a week in the United States and then I go home, and I don’t want you hanging around me looking like a kicked puppy the entire time.”

“Fair enough,” Kaiba snorted, though his gaze was absently turned toward the window. He sat in pensive silence for a few seconds before resuming, and when he did, his mouth was open for a moment before sounds came out. “The fault is mine, if I’m honest. Jonouchi... came to my apartment, and the next morning at breakfast, I dumped my announcement on him and left as briskly as possible.”

“Hmm...” Mokuba was quiet, appearing to be thinking before he looked up, “How did he appear when you told him?”

“A bit surprised…?” Kaiba muttered. “I don’t know. I didn’t stay to watch his reaction.”

“Why did he turn up at your apartment?” asked Mokuba unflinchingly.

Kaiba’s eyes were still on the streets outside the cafe, but they rolled sideways so he could scrutinize his brother with narrowed eyes.

“You know why he turned up,” Kaiba accused, though no impish sparkle of the eyes or mouth twitching into a smirk had appeared yet on his brother’s face. “He wanted company.”

“So you gave it to him, huh?” Mokuba blinked before drinking up the rest of his coffee. “Well, maybe your problem isn’t that you are infatuated with Jonouchi but that you haven’t set the terms to what you two are. You can’t be sleeping with him casually if you want more if he doesn’t also want the same.”

“That’s why I told him what I did,” Kaiba replied over the rim of his coffee cup. It was getting cold while he sat feeling uncomfortable. “And don’t get the wrong idea. I wanted his company. It wasn’t as if he came around just to solicit me.”

He paused when his memory returned to Jonouchi’s complaint that he hadn’t seen Kaiba around the bar for a while. It still tied him in knots, especially coupled with his new knowledge that Jonouchi might be struggling with attachment of his own.

“It was my intention to distance myself until he decided how he wanted to respond,” Kaiba explained, setting his drink down. His eyes flitted to his nearly-untouched yogurt. He’d get back to it when they were discussing something less important. “But so far, he hasn’t approached me at all, so I don’t know what to think.”

“Maybe you’ve been too unapproachable. Walking out on him probably didn’t help much,” continued Mokuba, “You might want to apologize for that first. Then see where it goes from there. Who knows, he might be pinning after you just as much as you are him.” Mokuba let out a tiny little laugh after that. “I would have never imagined this happening...”

“What? Me giving myself an ulcer over some man I shouldn’t even want around?” Kaiba scoffed. “Neither would I, a few months ago.”

“You shouldn’t want around?” echoed Mokuba. Then he laughed sharply, tsking with a pointed finger. “Nii-sama, you are such a classist snot. Do you honestly think you’re better than him?”

“No,” Kaiba replied more sharply than he intended. “But several times during the last six months I’ve been wishing I thought that. I wish I had a publicly acceptable sexuality, and wanted some vapid, wealthy broad with a name that was good for business. But I suppose I’ve always been predisposed to doing things the hard way.”

For the sake of a better outcome, his brain added with a surprising level of encouragement. He disregarded that initially--he’d thought getting himself and Mokuba adopted by Gozaburo was for a better outcome. Maybe it had been. He didn’t make a habit of looking back down a road he’d traveled. He could definitely say it hadn’t been easier than letting the government file him and Mokuba nice and neatly into separate foster families. It hadn’t been easy to overthrow Gozaburo instead of being his puppet. It hadn’t been easy to destroy Kaiba Corporation and build it back up from the ground.

Those things had been worth it, in the end. Maybe his agonizing over Jonouchi would be, too. But that remained to be seen. He sipped his coffee.

“Does Jonouchi make you happy?” asked Mokuba softly.

Kaiba was mildly surprised by that question. He was hesitant to reply, not because the answer was no, but because the answer was embarrassing to think. Saying it would only be worse. But there was no point in withholding information now.

“In a word,” he stated, meeting Mokuba’s gaze. “If I wanted to be accurate, I’d have to say... being with him makes me feel right. So that makes me “happy”.”

Mokuba sighed loudly. “Nii-sama, when you are with him, does that make you feel happy?”

Kaiba had to pause to think about it. He definitely kept hanging around Jonouchi for a reason--that being, it felt nice--and what little scuffles they’d had were never a deterrent. Even with all his internal turmoil, he still enjoyed Jonouchi’s company.

“Yes, if that’s what you’re looking for,” Kaiba admitted, “What is your determination with whether or not I feel happy?”

“Because I love you,” Mokuba said before sticking out his tongue a second time, “I want what’s best for you. And if Jonouchi’s what’s best, then you need to go and try harder. Can you do that? For your own sanity’s sake?”

“If it’ll help me retain some shred of mental stability, then yes,” Kaiba snorted, “And because now that you’ve badgered all this out of me, I doubt you’ll leave me alone until it’s settled. Am I right?”

“Exactly right,” smiled Mokuba.

FIVE MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba had been surprised when Jonouchi invited him to karaoke night at a bar. Not that it was a private event that warranted insider invitation, but Kaiba definitely wouldn’t have thought to attend something like that on his own. He still wasn’t really going for the karaoke, which anyone who knew him would have guessed. He was astonished that Jonouchi had thought he’d be interested.

Then again, he had accepted. He hadn’t even thought it over first. He sure as hell wasn’t interested in karaoke, and while the showman in him wasn’t totally opposed to the concept itself, his personality wouldn’t allow for that kind of behavior. Still, he could watch Jonouchi do it, and more importantly, he could spend an evening in Jonouchi’s presence when normally he would have been at home.

When he arrived at the address Jonouchi had specified, he realized that the bar was, specifically, a karaoke bar. He’d assumed he was attending karaoke night at a regular kind of place, where he could safely sit at a bar stool with his back to the drunken wailing. He understood immediately upon walking inside that this wasn’t a watering hole--it was a hotspot. It was a hip establishment targeted toward young people, and successfully so. Everyone inside was under twenty-five and dressed in nothing less stylish than Kaiba would buy himself.

What made him actually stop in his tracks for a moment was the fact that the first face he actually took note of was Thai. And the next Chinese. And the next Vietnamese, Korean, Filipino, and any combination of the group. He thought he spotted a Laotian in a corner with what looked like his entertainment for the night.

Kaiba hummed as he absorbed that, but he was more concerned with finding Jonouchi than profiling the locals. He nearly didn’t recognize Jonouchi when he did find him--his shock of golden hair didn’t stick out so much in a crowd of other trendy Asians, and for once, he looked like he’d gone out of his way to dress like an adult who’d been somewhere classier than the mall.

Kaiba approached him, though his pace was slowed by both the crowd, and his slow analysis of Jonouchi’s appearance. He was standing in such a way that Kaiba got a good profile view of him, and he noticed that his dark wash jeans were visibly more fitted than his usual denim. They hugged his hips, which was made more obvious by a shirt that hugged his broad chest and teased with the outline of his abdominal muscles.

He wasn’t sure what to think--he assumed that Jonouchi normally slapped whatever on himself and went out the door. Now he looked like he was trying to look good, and that led him to wonder. He saw that Jonouchi was speaking to some men Kaiba recognized from the garage, but they made parting gestures and walked away just as Kaiba was reaching Jonouchi’s side. It was probably for the best. He wouldn’t be able to feel comfortable with them around, and he had a feeling his presence would only give them incentive to tease Jonouchi. And possibly him, as well.

“This is not what I was expecting,” he announced as a greeting once he was close enough that Jonouchi was sure to hear him over the surrounding noise.

“Yeah?” answered Jonouchi with a smile before he laughed and nodded his head, “It’s a bit busy in here, but I like the vibe. And I thought someone like you would enjoy being surrounded by young people instead of a bar full of depressed businessmen.”

One of the guys retreating from Jonouchi’s garage looked back and made a gesture at them, which made Jonouchi laugh and give him the finger. Kaiba just frowned.

“Guys from my work,” explained Jonouchi, “they are extremely nosy about my personal life. I still haven’t explained to them who you are exactly.”

“I appreciate that,” Kaiba snorted, “Given how they were talking when I came to the garage, they’ll think I’m your John if they find out who I am.”

“Maybe not John,” smirked Jonouchi, “They know I’m not a hooker. I just have a lot of fun.

“So Kaiba, do you sing before or after a lot of alcohol?”

“Neither,” Kaiba replied flatly, “I hope your motive for bringing me here wasn’t to hear me sing. I can guarantee that no one wants that.”

He paused in thought for a split second as he watched Jonouchi’s undeterred face.

“If you brought me here to get me shitfaced, though, I’ll cooperate that much,” he joked, though in the back of his mind he wondered if getting that drunk tonight would be a good idea. He wasn’t sure how serious Jonouchi was about getting him to sing, and after enough alcohol, Kaiba didn’t even want to admit to himself how easy it could be to get him on the karaoke machine. He couldn’t get embarrassed about it if he could barely see straight, and he was a natural show-off in his way.

“Okay then, come to the bar with me and I’ll buy you your first round. But after that, you’re on your own,” declared Jonouchi, “I know your pockets are far deeper than mine!”

They went to the bar, and Jonouchi ordered Sapporo beer for them both plus two shots of tequila. He drank his shots fast, downing them quickly without even wincing before sighing and making a look of satisfaction before sipping out of his bottle of beer.

“Are you going to make complaints about the selection of alcohol in the United States tonight?” asked Jonouchi wearily, “or are you prepared to have some adult fun with me?”

“I won’t claim I haven’t moaned about it before,” Kaiba huffed in mock offense, “But even a snob knows that when the goal is being as drunk as possible, ten dollar wine is the same as hundred dollar wine. I’ll drink whatever they serve as long as it works fast.”

He started on his own drink while waving to the bartender for another, but as the beer initially touched his lips, his eyes widened in heavily delayed realization. He continued to drink as he stared ahead of him, but his mind had backtracked to Jonouchi’s initial question and was stuck there. Adult fun? He’d normally assume just what he had--that Jonouchi meant getting plastered. But it was Jonouchi, and knowing what kinds of fun he got up to made Kaiba wonder if he’d just failed to respond to a dirty joke. Or if Jonouchi was flirting with him. That seemed unlikely, though. He hadn’t done that sober, ever.

Kaiba was stunned to find his beer bottle empty as his train of thought came to a stop, so he quickly tossed back the tequila. It wasn’t awful, but it certainly tasted inexpensive. He gestured toward vodka when the bartender gave him a questioning look, and ordered six shots. Both the bartender and Jonouchi assumed they were to be divided equally, but when they arrived, Kaiba delicately slid all of them in front of himself. He smirked at Jonouchi’s surprise.

“Tell me what you want, and I’ll order it for you,” he offered.

“And what do I have to do after?” Jonouchi asked with a raised eyebrow, “You’ve never been charitable just for the sake of friendliness. Or are you really just trying to help a poor friend out?”

“Let’s say I was deeply touched by your gesture of buying my first round,” Kaiba shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re obviously trying to get drunk, so you may as well do it on my tab while I’m not in my right mind enough to care about spending money.”

“How generous of you,” laughed Jonouchi. He asked the bartender for some silly drink he called a “blow job” before being given a large shot full of Bailey’s and Kahlua topped off with whipped cream. Jonouchi stuck out his tongue at Kaiba playfully before putting his hands behind his back and taking the entire thing with his mouth, swallowing it without losing a drop before putting the glass down and licking his lips.

“When have you ever seen something like that in Japan,” asked Jonouchi with a wide smile, “You should try it.”

Kaiba side-eyed Jonouchi for several seconds in silence as he tried to dismantle what he’d said and figure out what he meant by it. The first couple of times had been ignorable, but now he was definitely feeling like he was getting unexpected attention. He hummed and tossed back a couple of shots.

“I don’t think it sounds like my kind of thing…” he declined politely. Jonouchi looked so impish that he had a feeling he’d only contributed to whatever amusement he’d already been feeling. “Do all the drinks have names like that?”

“No, only the best ones do,” Jonouchi answered with a sly smile, “You should try at least something new.”

“If you insist,” Kaiba replied as he topped off the fourth shot. He knew (and Jonouchi probably knew) that he was feeling cooperative, and insistence wasn’t required, but Jonouchi was polite enough not to call him on it. “Can you suggest one that I might be interested in? I’m not a big fan of cream.”

“A sake bomb,” suggested Jonouchi, “We can do it together.”

“I won’t argue as long as there’s alcohol involved,” Kaiba responded in kind, then was immediately surprised at himself for doing so. He finished what vodka he had left, though he realized afterward that vodka was already leading him down a dangerous, uninhibited path where his mouth let words escape that shouldn’t. And where he might end up doing karaoke. He grumbled to himself.

“It’s even Japanese,” Jonouchi giggled, “Well, kind of. It’s like a shot of sake that you place on top of a beer that’s held up with chopsticks. When we’re ready, we pull out the chopsticks and try to drink everything up as fast as we can. It’s a contest,” dared Jonouchi as he pointed at Kaiba’s chest a bit aggressively, “and I’m gonna beat you.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Kaiba snickered, excited by the competition--even if it was a small one. In reality, he’d win whether he was fastest or not. He’d still be more drunk by the end of it.

The drinks arrived. Kaiba rested his fingers on the chopsticks, ready to pull them away when Jonouchi gave the signal. Jonouchi, on the other hand, had his palms on the bar. Kaiba was going to accuse him of giving a handicap, but then he started counting down. Kaiba focused on preparing to pull the chopsticks away. He wasn’t too drunk yet, but his reaction time was already going down the tubes.

When Jonouchi nearly yelled “San!”, Kaiba immediately let the sake cup fall into the beer, but Jonouchi slammed his fists into the bar. The force shook the chopsticks and made his cup fall into his beer before Kaiba’s did. He gave Jonouchi an accusing glare, but only for a moment; Jonouchi had already started chugging, and Kaiba didn’t intend to give him too much of a head start.

Kaiba shut his eyes as he drank urgently, and when he opened them he felt very disoriented. Four chopsticks were on the bar, and Jonouchi was sitting beside him with a triumphant smirk. Kaiba scowled.

“You cheated,” he stated the obvious, knowing perfectly well that it made no difference to Jonouchi, who appeared to be reveling in his misbehavior. “You’re just full of tricks today.”

“I’m full of skills,” Jonouchi corrected. He pumped Kaiba in the shoulder, smiling at him before flashing his eyes at him, “Okay fine, since you’re upset about it, I’ll buy us both buttery nipples. They taste like dessert, you can’t not like them. How about it?”

“I don’t feel so bad about it that you have to buy me a present,” Kaiba rolled his eyes, though in reality, he knew he’d only been cheered up because Jonouchi had offered appropriate homage to make up for his transgression. “I’ll buy. But I don’t think I can say no to trying a “buttery nipple” now that I know they exist…”

“You’ll like it,” Jonouchi said again. Two glasses were placed in front of them. Jonouchi took his first, drinking deliberately before glancing Kaiba’s way with curious wide eyes. When he finished, he licked his lips again and sighed before bumping Kaiba again playfully.

“How was it?”

“You were right, I admit it. Calm down,” Kaiba commanded, though a pretty stupid smile of amusement was crossing his face as he did. Jonouchi had definitely been right, and the drink had kicked his borderline drunkenness into actual drunkenness by the end. He couldn’t control his responses as well anymore, and even if he could, he was drunk enough to try to excuse himself by blaming alcohol.

“I think you should probably close out your tab now,” said Jonouchi as he began taking out his wallet. The bartender was quick. They paid while Jonouchi continued to grin before finishing, and all of a sudden Kaiba was being hauled away from his stool over to a line of people waiting to use the karaoke machine.

“Think of a song,” Jonouchi began, “You got to pick our first song for tonight. I’ll go alone because I’m confident and shit,” he explained, “but I know you’re scared, so we’ll just have to sing a duet together.”

“I’m not scared,” Kaiba protested, though he was actively resisting Jonouchi’s tugging. He didn’t succeed. He could barely stand, and even if Jonouchi were to release him, he’d probably just end up stumbling into the nearest table or chair he could lean on. He frowned all the way to the karaoke machine, and at Jonouchi’s encouragement, absently flipped through the available songs. He didn’t know anything about pop music, and nothing on the list was familiar. Things that were familiar, he would die standing if he tried to perform.

Kaiba became aware that he’d been standing on the platform staring at the track list like it was something of great importance. In reality, he just couldn’t choose a song, partly because his focus was shot to shit, and partly because he didn’t know what any of them were. He decided to punch a number into the machine at random and hope for the best. He knew nothing about pop, American or Japanese. Any song was as bad as another, right?

He realized he must have thought wrong when Jonouchi’s eyes lit up in response to the selected music. He gave Kaiba a worryingly teasing, knowing look as the intro music started. Kaiba had no clue what to do or think as he grasped the microphone Jonouchi handed him, but he resolved to let Jonouchi lead. It wasn’t like he had any idea what was coming.

Jonouchi knew exactly what was happening, and started singing enthusiastically practically before the verse had time to start. Kaiba’s brow scrunched in confusion and disapproval as he read the words, but he almost had a sniggering fit when he heard Jonouchi’s (normally quite good) English failing. It might have been just because he was so drunk, but Kaiba still found it unduly funny.

His composure came back unpleasantly quickly when Jonouchi reached the chorus and looked at him expectantly. He gestured for Kaiba to join, and Kaiba shook his head in a panic before even thinking about it. He’d heard what Jonouchi had been saying so far, and he didn’t want any part of it. What tacky music. Just his luck--he’d chosen some garbage from the turn of the century.

Jonouchi continued without him, unaffected, swaying back and forth with the music. He was getting progressively less coordinated and didn’t really seem to care. Kaiba felt slightly less isolated in his embarrassment when people in the bar around them started singing the song as well. Obviously, it was well known--everyone was either interacting with it, or rolling their eyes and looking less than nostalgic.

“My loneliness is killing me,” Jonouchi continued as the chorus repeated. Kaiba knew it by now, but was unenthusiastic about the idea of contributing to the song. Jonouchi started bumping against him in an increasingly violent fashion until he was annoyed (and guilty) enough to quietly participate. Not that he had to be especially quiet to be unnoticed beside Jonouchi’s confident singing. He noted to himself that Jonouchi wasn’t a half-bad singer, even if he was obviously goofing off.

By the beginning of the second chorus, Kaiba had managed to gain a piece of Jonouchi’s sense of humor by association, and was clumsily joining him (if less vigorously) in performing the song. He tried not to think too hard about the lyrics or the eyes of people around them. Jonouchi certainly didn’t seem bothered by them. He acted like he was singing in the car or shower, not a crowded place.

“My loneliness is killing me; I must confess, I still believe,” he repeated, his eyes sparkling with the grin that had been present on his face nearly since Kaiba finally joined in. Kaiba couldn’t figure out what had him so elated, aside from the alcohol, until he noticed his own face felt sore. He was flashing Jonouchi a toothy smile against his will every time their eyes met, though he hadn’t been trying to. He was too drunk not to. The combination of embarrassment and a weird, inappropriate, but genuine level of enjoyment made it happen.

When the song was over, Kaiba was overcome with a deep sense of relief, and a teeny bit of triumph. He vaguely noticed people in the bar applauding, facetiously or otherwise, but his attention was on Jonouchi. Jonouchi looked far less like he’d suffered an ordeal, and in fact had already started looking through the songbook again. Kaiba’s eyes widened.

“What are you doing?” He asked, slightly panicked. He’d been able to do one song, and that had been hard enough, but now Jonouchi was trying to prolong his trial.

“Look Kaiba, everyone loves us,” Jonouchi snorted as he bumped Kaiba with his hip. He turned his attention to picking another song. “We can’t quit now. One more song. And I promise, we won’t be listening to Britney Spears this time. Don’t be a buzzkill, we’re having fun.”

Kaiba didn’t respond, but he didn’t complain, either. It was true that he wasn’t in any extreme discomfort, but he’d much rather be not singing pop music in front of a crowd. It wasn’t so bad with Jonouchi there, though. The thought of doing it alone was...impossible. It was a non-issue because it would never, ever happen. Everyone knew that solo karaoke took a hell of a lot of bravery, or the confidence of someone who’d had lessons.

So in a way, he supposed, Jonouchi was making him braver. But that was a weird thought, so he discarded it.

Kaiba was also unfamiliar with the song Jonouchi chose. Jonouchi knew exactly what song it was and was tapping his foot along with the intro, shooting Kaiba the most ominously impish looks he’d ever seen in his life. He braced himself for humiliation, but no amount of bracing was enough to withstand the power of the second hard wave of embarrassment he felt when Jonouchi sang the first words.

“I’m bringing sexy back,” was all Kaiba heard for a few seconds. He zoned out for the rest while he was wondering how he got himself into this situation. His drunk mind was astonishingly happy about the fact that he was there, and he was there because being around Jonouchi always forced him to leave his comfort zone and do normal human things. That was an unhelpful thought, so he stopped thinking and prepared to join in on the chorus.
He ended up stopping short because he both didn’t know the chorus yet, and didn’t think he could bring himself to say those things. Jonouchi was perfectly happy to belt them out, and to make it worse, he looked deep into Kaiba’s eyes as he did so. Kaiba couldn’t look away. He just kept steadily meeting Jonouchi’s gaze with a dumbfounded expression.

“Dirty babe,” Jonouchi crooned, his gaze sultry, his hips rocking in a way that made Kaiba feel more like he was being made an audience member than duet partner. “You see these shackles, baby? I’m your slave.”

Oh, god.

“I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave.”

Kaiba was apparently the only person in the room who was positively scandalized. Everyone else was either amused, or completely disinterested. A few people were playing along with Jonouchi’s exaggerated sexuality. Kaiba didn’t even know what to do, but Jonouchi started nudging him again when the next verse started, and this time he was doing it with a deliberate level of pelvic rubbing. Kaiba joined him in song, but took a step away.

By the time they got to the chorus, though, somehow Jonouchi was within a proximity that forced their bodies together frequently, and Kaiba was too drunk, too stunned, and too embarrassed to find a reason to be upset about it. He was drunk enough that he even started mimicking Jonouchi’s movements like a cobra, though he was considerably less blatant about it. Jonouchi looked extremely satisfied with the havoc he’d wrought on Kaiba’s persona, but by the end of the song, Kaiba couldn’t find complaint with it.

“Next time you gotta sing more,” Jonouchi chided, “You made me do that almost entirely by myself. Maybe you just like the attention,” he teased. Jonouchi sat on a stool, almost falling over as he laughed loudly. He was no longer aware of his own actions. Kaiba could tell. “I don’t think we should drink anymore.”

“I agree,” Kaiba rested a hand on Jonouchi’s back when he nearly tipped himself over. He only drove Jonouchi’s point home further by doing that--normally, he wouldn’t be presumptuous enough to touch someone like that unless they were really in danger of hurting themselves. Jonouchi didn’t complain though; in fact, Kaiba realized after a few seconds that he hadn’t righted himself because he was happy to lean into the touch. Kaiba gave him enough of a shove to get him upright in the seat. He wasn’t unhappy that Jonouchi was comfortable with him, but he wasn’t comfortable with how happy Jonouchi’s comfort made him.

Kaiba had deemed himself drunk before, but this was the first time he’d felt too drunk. He wasn’t in a stupor, or debilitated, but he was too impulsive. Sober, he’d be horrified by himself doing karaoke, and even more so by what he’d done with Jonouchi during. Right now, it wasn’t bothering him. And he knew it should. He was too drunk.

“Hey,” Jonouchi reasoned as he opened his eyes to flash them directly at Kaiba, the color of his irises bright in the light of the bar, “I have a great plan. My place is close. How about you come over? It’s too early in the night to quit yet.”

“Come over? To drink more?” Kaiba asked. He wondered why he was asking. Clarification? No. He knew what Jonouchi was talking about. At least, he thought he did.

“Noooo,” Jonouchi laughed as he rolled his eyes. “Hang out. And stuff. Come on, it’ll be fun. You’ve never seen where I live, anyways.”

“You want to just... hang out with me? At your place?” Kaiba blinked.

“Yeah,” Jonouchi reiterated. “Hang out. That’s what friends do, you dork. You know you want to.”

“Shut up,” Kaiba laughed, though the obvious pleasure in his response made Jonouchi jump up from his stool. They started walking toward the door with awful coordination. Kaiba wondered how they would get to Jonouchi’s place. Lean against one another? That would be funny to watch, but not so funny to live. Hopefully if it was actually close, they could sway and stumble their way there in decent time.

As it turned out, they could. Jonouchi’s home wasn’t a long walk from the karaoke bar. It was barely longer than it had been from their regular spot. Their regular spot. What a thing to think. There was something about it that gave Kaiba a little thrill, so he kept repeating it to himself mentally and smiling against his volition until Jonouchi leaned heavily into him.

“Uh,” Kaiba grunted, but he lost the desire to complain before he could voice it. He could barely walk right himself, but it felt nice having Jonouchi there. His brain told him that was a good reason to protest, but he couldn’t quite convince himself.

“You’re the tallest, you have to help me,” Jonouchi cried out pathetically, “that’s your job now.”

“Will I be making the same salary?” Kaiba queried with a laugh. “Or will I have to give it up in exchange for benefits?”

“If you’re good, I’ll make it up to you,” Jonouchi grinned, “Money isn’t everything, anyways. If you hurry up, we’ll get there quicker and you can decide how you wanna cash in your check.”

“I can’t help but think that the goods and services to choose from will be a bit limited when we get there,” Kaiba replied in a tone he knew was playful even though he wasn’t sure he wanted it to be. Jonouchi hadn’t been this blatant with him since the one time previously he’d flirted. He’d been drunk then, too. But Jonouchi had flirted with him earlier, at the bar, before the alcohol.

That, and now, Jonouchi knew who he was.

Jonouchi knew who he was and wanted him around anyways.

“Don’t be difficult about it,” Jonouchi laughed as he grabbed Kaiba’s arm to lead towards the garage where his apartment stood above, “You know you’re just a tiny bit interested, Kaiba. You just like pretending not to be.”

“Yeah,” Kaiba slurred as he looked up at the building with hazy eyes and a goofy smile, “I do.”

Chapter Text

Kaiba got stuck in his head stewing the contents of his night around in search of a conclusion while Jonouchi started digging into his jeans for his key and began to unlock the door inside. There was stairway access to the second floor, which Kaiba assumed was living quarters. They ascended it together, Kaiba leaning on the railing as Jonouchi leaned into him. Honestly, Jonouchi didn’t even seem like he was trying to help himself walk. He had both arms wrapped around Kaiba’s torso, and while Kaiba didn’t plan to complain, he was aware that it was making things more difficult.

Jonouchi was remarkably deft at unlocking his front door. He led the way inside and flipped on the light as he walked through the entryway. Kaiba had just got in and locked the door behind him when he heard an alarming cry of distress. He looked toward the sound, thinking something bad had happened, but instead it was explained by the appearance of a slim orange tabby with its tail raised high. It trotted urgently to Jonouchi, who crouched to pet it while it furiously rubbed itself on him.

The cat cried again when Jonouchi stood, but murmured happily when it saw he was walking into the kitchen. Kaiba took off his shoes and followed, mainly to observe. Jonouchi looked like he was working from habit; he pulled a can from a cupboard and opened it very deftly considering how drunk he was. When he set it on the floor, the cat started inhaling it without so much as giving it a sniff first. Kaiba stood a couple feet away from Jonouchi, looking at the cat, then at him.

“You have a cat,” he noted in an exemplary display of his intelligence. But it made Jonouchi laugh, which was what he’d been after. He chuckled quietly himself, but he felt nervous. He knew why, but he told himself he didn’t.

“Yeah, she just followed me home one day so I decided to keep her. I mean, cats are like good luck, so why not.”

“She obviously likes you. Besides, it can’t be pleasant being by yourself in a place.”

“She likes my food,” Jonouchi laughed, “I’m sure that’s the driving force in our relationship.” Jonouchi hmmed before jumping to sit on the kitchen counter. “No, I don’t like being alone much. Not that I hang around here a lot, either. Cats are pretty self-sufficient. So if I leave, she’s fine anyways.”

“Hmm,” Kaiba turned so he was facing Jonouchi, though he maintained distance from the countertop. He wanted to sit down, but it was his first time in Jonouchi’s home. It would be rude to just wander off to a couch. “Well...now that we’re here, did you have a plan for the evening?”

What a stupid thing to ask. Jonouchi had a plan for the evening the moment he’d invited Kaiba to karaoke, and that plan had been slowly falling together to Kaiba’s perception all night.

“I don’t know,” Jonouchi answered honestly with a small smile, “I was just trying to see if you’d even come home with me or not.”

The cat finished its meal, jumping on the counter to go rub herself all over Jonouchi’s face. Jonouchi playfully pushed her away, jumping off the counter and throwing away the can before walking into the tiny living room that appeared to also be Jonouchi’s converted bedroom.

“We could talk, watch a movie, play card games,” Jonouchi suggested. “I don’t have much, but I try to make up for my lack of material things with my charming personality,” he winked, “and if you’re really just tired, I don’t mind you passing out here.”

The cat darted across the room, taking up a perch by the window. Jonouchi turned to get a glass of water, kind enough to grab two. Kaiba took the one offered him, but didn’t start drinking. He definitely wanted water, but part of him didn’t want to start alleviating his drunkenness. He was liking the course of his evening as dictated by his drunk self, and he was drunk enough to let himself regret it in the morning rather than let his inhibitions get in the way.

“I didn’t want to ask, but I probably will end up sleeping here,” he accepted, swirling the water in the glass. “I find your company entertaining enough. I wouldn’t mind talking, assuming I’m not less intelligible right now than I think I am.”

“You care too much about how you come off to people around you,” Jonouchi accused before finishing his water. “Kaiba, you need to learn how to relax. Stop examining every little thing around you and just enjoy the moment for what it is.”

“Be fair, now,” Kaiba smirked at his own thoughts, “I did just softcore dry-hump with you in front of dozens of people. That took at least a little bit of relaxing.”

“Hardly,” Jonouchi laughed. He went over to the couch and took a seat, letting his legs fall off the side as he crossed them. “I had to dance and sing both songs almost entirely by myself. You just stared at me laughing and smiling the entire time. You were the worst karaoke partner I’ve ever had,” Jonouchi said dramatically, “I think you just wanted to watch me humiliate myself.”

“You didn’t look humiliated,” Kaiba defended, “I thought you were perfectly confident. Frankly, I was dumbstruck. But I did warn you that I didn’t want to do karaoke... I wasn’t just being difficult.

“Besides, it’s for the best that you were the primary performer. You’re the better singer. And the audience seemed to appreciate your... dancing.”

“I’d take off my clothes if there wasn’t a possibly of being kicked out,” Jonouchi said with a toothy grin. “I dance good. I almost never buy my own drinks and I get drunk off of the appreciation of others. My skills are amazing, and if anything, you’re just jealous that you can’t seduce an audience like I can with the power of my manly hips and amazing singing voice.”

“Oh, so you were seducing deliberately?” Kaiba asked, snickering, but he paused afterward when he realized how that might have sounded. Fortunately, Jonouchi didn’t seem to notice.

“Yeah, I’m broke.”

“I paid for your drinks though,” Kaiba muttered suspiciously, though he was mainly joking. “I mean no disrespect to your “manly hips and amazing singing voice”, but why put them to use when your tab was mainly handled by me?”

“Pfft. I must have seduced you,” teased Jonouchi as he fluttered his eyelashes playfully, “You just didn’t know it at the time.

“I just enjoy the attention sometimes, even if I don’t really need it.”

“Then why complain about my participation? You stole the show,” Kaiba hummed and sipped on his water. He felt deeply uncomfortable as he sat on the couch cushion, even though he was telling himself he shouldn’t be. Something about Jonouchi claiming to seduce him made his thoughts try to go in strange directions. He almost jumped in surprise when he felt Jonouchi’s toes pressing against his thigh, but he was too drunk to react that quickly, so instead he grunted. Jonouchi wiggled his toes. Kaiba realized he was holding his breath and forced himself to inhale.

“Comfortable?” he asked, though he was looking at his own feet. Looking at Jonouchi felt strange now.

“Very,” Jonouchi giggled. It was a less familiar sound than the chuckles and hearty laughter that usually came from him. Kaiba glanced at him and saw that he was smiling, which wasn’t any different from normal, but the look on his face right now was like his smile the day they’d met in the bar the first time. It was friendly and welcoming, yes. But his gaze was concentrated, his eyes promising a storm as the hazel hues in them lit with his grin.

Kaiba felt something terrible in his body, like tickling inside his guts, and a tingle in his chest that made his face hot. He was frozen in place for several seconds as he tried and failed to regain some control over himself, but he wasn’t smart enough to look away from Jonouchi’s gaze while he was struggling. Jonouchi didn’t look any less alluring, but he tilted his head in question after enough silent staring.

When Kaiba finally managed to turn his eyes on the carpet, he could tell immediately from Jonouchi’s shifting that he was going to ask what was on his mind. Kaiba raced to come up with an explanation, and started speaking before he completely did.

“Sorry,” he muttered, “I just... noticed that... you look nice.”

“I look nice?” Jonouchi hmed as his eyebrows crossed from confusion. “What do I normally look like to you, hot garbage? I know I’m not fancy, but I try to look decent, you know. Well, especially since I didn’t want to look bad next to you and your upscale self.”

“I wasn’t trying to imply that you ever looked bad,” Kaiba corrected, putting every ounce of effort he could spare into not getting more flustered. He was pale enough to turn red, and he didn’t want his face to give him away. “You look especially good, is more accurate to say. I don’t think fancy would suit you.”

“Then what does suit me,” asked Jonouchi curiously. “Haha, well, I can’t say I’m not a little flattered. I didn’t think the great Kaiba Seto would ever approve of anything I do, let alone how I dress, but for the first time in my life, I’m mistaken,” he smirked, “maybe there’s hope for us yet.”

“You... usually wear baggy clothes,” Kaiba began his attempt to explain, “You didn’t today. What you’re now wearing suits you better. It’s nicer to look at.”

“Oh? You just like my body,” Jonouchi joked, laughing lightly, “that must be it.”

Kaiba stopped for a second or two to mull that over. He knew the answer, but he didn’t know if the answer was acceptable. He was too drunk, worked up, and generally confused to decide, so he gave up and replied.

“Yes, I do,” he stated, watching Jonouchi’s face as he did.

“Oh,” Jonouchi answered more seriously, “I didn’t know that.”

“Neither did I, for a while,” Kaiba muttered, but his malcontent was directed only toward himself. He had no idea what he was doing anymore, but it wasn’t going poorly, and that was enough to convince his drunk mind that he may as well keep at it. “I assume that doesn’t upset you to know…”

“Why would it?” Jonouchi asked with another tilt of his head. “I wouldn’t want you of all people thinking I was ugly.” He smiled before grabbing his glass of water again, grinning behind the rim before putting it to his lips. It made Kaiba’s stomach turn to knots.

He set his own glass down on the table by the couch that was decent-looking, but had marks of use marring the wood that made him think it must have been a “found” table. He looked at Jonouchi, who was still watching him over the glass he was no longer drinking from, his smile faded now in the presence of apprehension. Then a slow smile crept across his face, and Kaiba resisted jerking in surprise when Jonouchi’s toes wiggled against his leg. He looked down at them, as if they were going to explain themselves, but instead Jonouchi started rubbing one foot over his thigh deliberately.

Kaiba didn’t do anything to indicate Jonouchi should stop, which served as an indication that he should shift his attention progressively higher. Kaiba felt himself panicking, his heart rate increasing non stop until he was being suffocated by his own pulse. He kept telling himself he should do something--tell Jonouchi he’d had enough, or just leave, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to, which was the most perplexing thing. He wanted to try to sort that out, but there was too much happening for him to keep his thoughts straight. His mind dismissed thought entirely when he felt the pressure of Jonouchi’s toes against his groin, rubbing through his jeans.

He gasped mainly out of surprise, and shut his eyes. The sensation wasn’t much, but the tease made up for it. He didn’t want to admit that he might be excited even more by the fact that he definitely, absolutely should not be doing this. Jonouchi was nowhere near as afflicted; he continued toying with confidence, quietly giggling every time Kaiba sucked in a breath or tugged on the fabric of the couch cushion he was sitting on.

His fingers were tightly curled into fists, his shoulders stiff. His guts were churning with a horrible cocktail of alarm, embarrassment, and an undeniable want that was strongest of all. He shouldn’t want it right now, especially from a man. Especially from a man he was supposed to be just friends with. But somehow, his thoughts seemed more wrong than the situation, and he couldn’t convince himself to find a way out of it.

He sighed, his shoulders dropping when his erection was straining visibly against his pants. He felt Jonouchi move at the other end of the couch and turned to look at him for the first time in what felt like ages. Jonouchi set his own glass down on the coffee table, then flashed him a smirk and crawled across the couch on his knees. Kaiba watched him, wide-eyed, yet for all his astonishment didn’t have to put a second thought into grasping Jonouchi’s hips when he straddled him.

He looked up at Jonouchi’s face as his hands came to rest on his shoulders, and was met with a welcoming smile. Kaiba thought maybe he should say something, but he couldn’t think as to what. He couldn’t figure out what to tell himself, much less Jonouchi. Still, Jonouchi seemed like he was waiting for something. Kaiba cleared his throat. His face felt almost as hot as his pants.

“Hi,” he greeted quietly, though his tone delivered it more as a question. Jonouchi seemed surprised, but laughed and looked at him as if he’d done something adorable and maybe a little dopey. Kaiba averted his gaze.

“You don’t have to be so embarrassed just because there’s an audience,” Jonouchi snickered, “Mio’s an open-minded kind of cat.”

Kaiba scoffed before he could stop himself, and the awful, persistent tingling in his chest made a smile cross his face. He relaxed into the couch a little more as he stared at the region somewhere near Jonouchi’s navel. He blinked in surprise and looked up when Jonouchi’s hands touched his face, and for the first time in his life he was compliant and let himself be directed to tilt his head back. He met Jonouchi’s eyes, and something was different about them--he still saw a storm brewing, but he hadn’t expected anything less than that. What he noticed was the hazel hues peering into him with a kind of hunger and desire that he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. Jonouchi almost looked afraid, and that made him feel nervous.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Jonouchi asked softly, touching a lock of Kaiba’s hair near his ear before trailing it down the cut of his jawline, “Or is this just too weird to you? I can stop if you’re uncomfortable. Or just not entirely interested. I just would like to know before I get carried away with myself,” Jonouchi asked with a small laugh. He didn’t sound like he was trying to be funny. His voice shrank like he was anxious and about ready to bolt off the couch. Kaiba didn’t completely mean to, but he gripped Jonouchi’s hips more tightly to keep him in place.

“I’ve had weirder things happen to me,” he replied. He could barely make himself speak, and he was starting to think the blush on his face would be permanent. “I’m not--I’m uncomfortable with how interested I am, but...this is fine. This is good.”

Jonouchi’s face broke into a wide smile. He leaned forward, resting his face against the crook of Kaiba’s neck and shoulder before letting out a deep sigh.

“Your hair smells good,” he laughed in a small voice, “I like it.”

Hands trailed down Kaiba’s dress shirt, one fussing with a button first before they ghosted over his abdomen. It made his muscles tremble; as embarrassing as it was to admit, Kaiba had never allowed anyone to touch him in that kind of capacity. He’d been too busy for romance and too reserved for hook ups. Masturbation had been well enough for when he needed a release, and now, feeling tight in the pants, he heaved a deep sigh of relief when Jonouchi began to unzip the front of his designer jeans.

His hand was warm. It slipped under the band of Kaiba’s underwear, brushing against coarse hair before touching upon something warm and stiff. Jonouchi’s hand grasped him firmly, and Kaiba felt himself stiffen before looking up as Jonouchi began kissing along his neck and face. He gasped a shuddering breath in when Jonouchi started stroking, his motions practiced and very effective. He started to suck gently on the nape of Kaiba’s neck at the same time, and he suddenly felt a jolt of pleasure in his gut that nearly made him dizzy.

It was irrationally intense--was it possible that having another person touch him made this much of a difference? Or had the alcohol done something weird to him? He didn’t care enough to answer the question. Jonouchi was stroking his shaft faster, his thumb running over the head on every upstroke, and his mouth stayed busy on Kaiba’s neck, collarbones, and even his earlobes. Kaiba’s toes curled when Jonouchi gently bit down and tugged, and the response he got made him chuckle. Kaiba was embarrassed, but it was momentary. Everything else he felt was more important.

Jonouchi’s fingers left his erection, and he inhaled deeply, blinking his eyes open. He hadn’t realized they were closed. He looked at Jonouchi questioningly, wondering if he’d done something wrong, but he realized he’d fallen into a trap for the umpteenth time that evening when Jonouchi only smirked and rubbed the underside of his shaft with an open hand. Kaiba bit down on his bottom lip, mainly in anticipation, but he was still shocked when Jonouchi shoved his hand further down and unabashedly started playing with his testicles.

Kaiba’s vision didn’t go white, but he didn’t really register anything he saw as his eyes rolled back, and he quickly shut them. His head hit the couch back, and he gritted his teeth to stop himself from making any embarrassing noises or breathing heavily. He only partly succeeded, and Jonouchi apparently had no plans to take mercy on him, because Kaiba felt his lips along his jaw again.

He managed to pull himself back to his senses enough to have some active control. He opened his eyes, lifting his head as he did so. Jonouchi looked surprised, and stopped what he was doing for a moment, which was the opposite of what Kaiba wanted. He shifted one hand to the back of Jonouchi’s head, grasping his blond hair firmly, and he slid his other hand down until he was very obviously grabbing Jonouchi’s ass.

Jonouchi didn’t seem to disapprove, but he was shocked, and looked like he was about to laugh at him. Kaiba didn’t get to find out--he used his leverage to pull Jonouchi closer to himself, forcing their bodies together along with their lips. He felt something in his chest go light when Jonouchi fell into him with a sigh, and while he was still able to think, he let his hands wander under his shirt.

It was just what he’d expected, of course, but feeling was different from seeing. Jonouchi’s skin was soft, but his muscles were well-defined and strong, if supple. Kaiba felt like they were doing things out of order. Shouldn’t the kissing and feeling up have come before going below the belt? Not that it mattered, he concluded. It felt good. Jonouchi felt good. He sucked in a breath as Kaiba trailed his slender fingers over his chest and down his abdomen, and Kaiba felt the definition of muscle there.

Then he felt obligated to pull off his shirt. Kaiba grabbed at the hem, tugging on it before Jonouchi pulled away and did it himself. Kaiba watched, his eyes widening as he saw Jonouchi’s entire upper body flex and bend as he took his shirt off from over his head. It nearly got stuck, and Kaiba found himself staring at everything all at once before Jonouchi got it off, laughing somewhat as his hair fell against his face.

“Yours too, now,” Jonouchi said as he started playing around with the buttons of Kaiba’s dress shirt again. He pulled off the black sport’s jacket and threw it aside, before defty helping Kaiba out of his grey Calvin Klein dress shirt. Kaiba just watched, his face warming up as he looked upon Jonouchi’s face as he continued at his work. He was biting his lip, and once the material was free, slid the shirt off Kaiba’s shoulders before tossing that too on the floor.

Kaiba used one hand and grabbed the back of Jonouchi’s head again, playing with his locks of hair before pulling him into a kiss. Jonouchi didn’t fight against him, just sighing before compliantly opening his mouth. It tasted sharp of alcohol, but smooth like the bailey’s they’d drank last before going to sing karaoke. Swirling his tongue around, Kaiba took hold of the situation, wanting to enjoy every breath and sigh before taking both of his hands and boldly grabbing at Jonouchi’s well-defined ass cheeks.

There was a sharp yelp before Jonouchi jumped back. Kaiba didn’t care; he tugged at Jonouchi’s lower lip before looking up at him with his eyes, Jonouchi staring back silently as his face began to color.

“Take a break from squeezing my ass and help me set up the bed, Casanova,” he requested with a small laugh. “You can touch as much as you’d like after I’m under the sheets.”

“Then let’s not waste any time,” Kaiba agreed, letting Jonouchi off of him. The two of them stood, shirtless and flustered, Kaiba still sporting a half-exposed erection as they dismantled the couch into the bed it hid within itself. The sheets were already within, so all they had to do was arrange the pillows and pull the comforter back before they could hop in. Kaiba boldly shoved Jonouchi onto the mattress, and he laughed as he bounced from the momentum of the landing.

Kaiba knelt beside him and kissed him even before he’d really had time to catch his breath. Jonouchi accepted that with a pleased sigh, and Kaiba’s concentration started funneling into the feeling of their lips touching, but he broke away against his will and cried out embarrassingly when Jonouchi started to tease the tip of his cock that was peeking over the hem of his underwear. Kaiba immediately wanted revenge, but Jonouchi used the moment to get the upper hand and made him lie on his back.

There wasn’t any reason to complain about it. So far, having Jonouchi on top of him hadn’t been a bad thing. He wondered for a moment just how far they were going, and how far Jonouchi would want to be on top of him, but the question fled his mind quickly. He didn’t have to care right now, so he refused to do so. Jonouchi was on all fours above him, blond hair tickling his face as they kissed. Kaiba laid still and allowed himself to be pleasured. Jonouchi slowly worked his way down from his mouth, to his chin and jaw, then his neck, collarbones, chest, stomach…

Kaiba blinked his eyes open and sat up enough to look down at Jonouchi, whose intentions were obvious but still bewildering. He was lying on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows, his face so close that his warm breath was tickling Kaiba’s dick. He was reminded of mere minutes earlier, when Jonouchi had seemed almost expectant, but Kaiba doubted at this point that he was confirming consent.

“Is something wrong?” he asked tentatively as he met Jonouchi’s eyes.

“I umm,” Jonouchi started with a nervous kind of laugh, his cheeks noticeably coloring now as he put a hand through his hair, “I don’t usually take guys home, so I don’t have condoms with me here. Is that gonna be a problem for you?”

“Uhm,” Kaiba began, but he didn’t know what to say at first and ended up staring at Jonouchi as he searched frantically for a response. He was blushing so hard that he was turning red from the navel up, and he was sure Jonouchi noticed. “I don’t really plan for this sort of thing to happen. I don’t have any either…”

He averted his eyes as he trailed off, then took a deep breath.

“It’s not physically possible for me to give you anything, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he muttered. He might have been drunk and turned on out of his mind, but he could still feel embarrassed about admitting that. It seemed like he should have lost all boundaries at this point, considering he was having a discussion about receiving oral from Jonouchi.

“Haha, okay,” Jonouchi answered, his face coloring even deeper now as he bit his lip a little, “That’s great, actually. You don’t have to worry about me, either. Just try to enjoy this.”

Kaiba couldn’t think of anything appropriate to say in response to that, but he didn’t need to talk. He realized he was holding his breath as Jonouchi pulled his pants further down his hips and started stroking him, though this time his grip was gentler and the pace was slower. Kaiba’s breath shuddered when he exhaled, but he sucked in a new breath immediately when Jonouchi lowered his head, his eyes closed, and sucked on the tip as if experimenting.

It took less than a second for him to start slowly sliding his lips down, gradually taking in the shaft. He stopped halfway and pulled back, his lips leaving a warm, slick feeling behind. Kaiba lost control of his breathing entirely when Jonouchi started his way down again, and he cried out against his own will when he reversed the process, this time sucking hard all the way up. His tongue was pressed against the underside of Kaiba’s shaft, sliding and rubbing against the most sensitive part of his glands.

The visual was almost too much to handle. Jonouchi started picking up the pace, and it took what willpower Kaiba had left to stop his hips from bucking out of instinct. He covered his mouth with one hand to stifle the noises he was making when Jonouchi used one of his hands to fondle his swollen testicles, and he could feel his erection jerking violently in his mouth.

For a few seconds, Kaiba thought he was getting a little control back when he shut his eyes and forced himself to breathe. But when he opened them again, Jonouchi was sliding his now-reddened lips down the shaft of Kaiba’s cock, which was glistening from the saliva and red from the heat and relentless sucking. But this time, he didn’t stop halfway--he continued all the way down to the base of the shaft, his eyes scrunching shut in effort. Kaiba felt precum drip out of his body when he head of his cock touched Jonouchi’s throat, and he quickly grabbed at Jonouchi’s hair with one hand while the other distorted the fibers in the bedsheet.

Kaiba felt himself getting close, but he couldn’t stop looking at Jonouchi. He started to regain a little control, but then Jonouchi rolled his eyes up at him. He looked surprised at first, but apparently something about Kaiba’s expression pleased him, because he got an impish sparkle in his eyes and deep-throated him again with an air of determination. Kaiba gasped and shuddered when he reached the bottom, but embarrassed himself by moaning when Jonouchi started rubbing him with his tongue.

He shut his eyes, enjoying the sensation and vaguely wondering through the fog of near-climax arousal just how long Jonouchi could hold his breath, but all that fled his mind when he looked again. Jonouchi was looking back, as if wondering whether he was still watching, and the moment their eyes locked, he hummed. The vibration sent Kaiba from near climax to careening over the edge, and he stiffened, tugging on Jonouchi’s hair as he gasped.

“Jonouchi--” he addressed urgently, “Jonouchi, I’m about to--”

Jonouchi was completely undeterred and stayed where he was. He even made an effort to suck harder, as if trying to pull the orgasm from Kaiba’s body. If that was the case, he was definitely successful. Kaiba felt his entire body constrict, his heels digging into the mattress as his back arched. He didn’t realize until his erratic noises and dizzying orgasm were over that he’d bucked into Jonouchi’s face and was forcing his head into his pelvis. He eased up immediately as he breathed heavily, and Jonouchi righted himself enough to catch his breath.

Kaiba watched him. He was panting, his face reddened from exertion (and minor suffocation), his pants undone and his torso muscles shifting as his lungs filled. Kaiba couldn’t talk, so he gestured for Jonouchi to come closer. He did, even though he looked confused. Kaiba grabbed him when he was close enough and pulled him down to the bed with him, meeting his lips without hesitation and smoothing down his blond hair apologetically. He continued to run his fingers through even after the mussing he’d caused was fixed, but Jonouchi didn’t complain.

As his breathing and heart rate evened, Kaiba concentrated on the skin contact between them that still sent aftershocks of pleasure through his body. His free hand slid over Jonouchi’s side, first up and around to his back, then down again until his fingers trailed over his hips and landed on his very obvious erection. Kaiba rubbed it through Jonouchi’s jeans, worried at first that despite having plenty of experience with jacking off, he would end up doing something wrong. But Jonouchi responded well, so Kaiba rolled them over, never breaking lip contact.

He left Jonouchi’s hair alone and used that arm to prop himself up, kneeling with one knee between Jonouchi’s thighs, and the other by his hip. He sighed when he felt Jonouchi’s hands on his chest, but they fell to the bed in surprise when Kaiba straightened and made quick work of removing Jonouchi’s pants. He chucked them to the floor as if they had wronged him somehow.

When he returned his attention to Jonouchi (who looked amused by the display), he immediately got one hand firmly around him, and with the other he rubbed and squeezed Jonouchi’s nearest available ass cheek to his heart’s content. Jonouchi looked very conflicted, which Kaiba had expected, so he tipped the balance by bending to kiss him again and stroking him faster. That seemed to make Jonouchi decide he wanted to accept it, because he sighed and wrapped his arms around Kaiba’s neck.

One of Jonouchi’s hands slid over Kaiba’s back to the base of his spine, though Kaiba only barely noticed it. His concentration was on maintaining the motion of stroking Jonouchi’s shaft. He found a sweet spot and did his best to continue pleasuring it, until Jonouchi was starting to roll his hips toward his hand. His pelvis lifting from the mattress let Kaiba get a better grip on his ass, which he wholly approved of. Jonouchi might have felt differently though, because suddenly he shoved his hand into Kaiba’s barely-present jeans and pinched his butt aggressively in retaliation.

Kaiba hummed, but didn’t loosen his grip on Jonouchi--front or back. His only revenge was playful nibbling at Jonouchi’s lower lip, followed by kisses and nibbles on his neck much like what Jonouchi had done to him earlier. He’d felt embarrassed by his own moans of pleasure, but he was less displeased with himself as Jonouchi started to whimper more and more frequently.

Kaiba could feel his shaft starting to jerk and pulse in his hand, and finally (somewhat reluctantly) he let go of Jonouchi’s ass so he could use that hand to tease his swollen testicles. Jonouchi sucked in a breath sharply, and his head pressed into his pillow as his hips rose. His breathing got erratic, and his hands fell on Kaiba’s shoulders, short nails digging into his skin just slightly. Kaiba didn’t let up, and after some writhing, Jonouchi stopped restraining the moans he’d been barely silencing up to now.

As Jonouchi reached his peak, Kaiba watched his expression. His brow was furrowed, eyes squeezed shut, as if he was concentrating. Then the pink in his face darkened into red, and his already bruised lips seemed even darker when they parted to inhale a gasp or release a moan. One of his hands left Kaiba’s shoulder and slid up into his own bright hair, pushing it off of his tanned face. He was mere moments away from climax, and for a split second, his whole face was simultaneously erotic and serene; then his breath caught and he bucked hard, throwing his head back as he let out one last cry of pleasure.

Kaiba felt fluid spilling all over his fingers, but he didn’t look at it--nor did he stop stroking until Jonouchi had sighed and fallen limp on the mattress. He breathed silently for a short handful of seconds, then blinked his eyes halfway open. Kaiba met his gaze, staring into the clear, light brown pools and his dilated pupils. His tan, reddened cheeks and half-parted lips.

Then the semen on his hand started getting cold, which was too uncomfortable to tolerate, so he excused himself to go wash his hands and relieve himself. When he came back, Jonouchi was under the blankets with his eyes shut, but obviously not sleeping. Kaiba stood by the bed for a moment, looking down at him, then decided to discard what was left of his own clothing before getting in. Part of him was screaming that he should leave and find a hotel, because this was not something he wanted to wake up to.

Except that wasn’t true, and even if it was, he didn’t care. Jonouchi had his back to him, and Kaiba boldly pressed against him, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his hair. He half-expected some kind of comment or complaint, but Jonouchi just sighed. Kaiba pulled him closer until they were flush against each other, and his arm was comfortably positioned around Jonouchi’s body.

He was settling in to fall asleep when he heard odd pats against the wooden floor, moving closer at a steady pace until Mio leapt onto the bed, purring. Kaiba lifted his head to glance at her for a moment, but she wasn’t paying him much attention. She laid comfortably by Jonouchi’s feet, so Kaiba let his head fall back to the pillow.

He inhaled deeply. He smelled Jonouchi, and Jonouchi smelled like him. Kaiba gripped him just a little bit tighter. If Jonouchi noticed, he didn’t respond. He was probably already asleep. Much as he knew he’d be far less content when he woke up, Kaiba decided to be pleased with his surroundings of afterglow and lose consciousness.

It was only a hook up, but he already knew deep down that he didn’t want it to be just that. Maybe it could become something more.

FOUR MONTHS FORWARD

Kaiba was fully aware of why Mokuba had chosen an aquarium as their destination for the day. It was a relatively tranquil environment, especially while being there on a weekday morning as they were. There weren’t any children running around; shouting, and antagonizing the aquatic life with the tapping and banging on the glass as they were bound to do. The lack of adults with constantly-flashing cameras was a plus, too.

The two of them stood, more or less alone, before a massive tank full of colorful tropical fish that appeared content to weave their way around artificial kelp and nibble on moss that grew between the pebbles at the bottom of their ecosystem. The water was clear and gently swaying in motion, leaving willowy shimmers on the walls and floor, and across their faces.

Kaiba looked to Mokuba, whose gaze was still fixed on the tank. Neither of them found fish especially fascinating, but watching them was calming in a way. Kaiba tended to start going on odd mental tangents about memory and time perception and all other kinds of things that were irrelevant to his life if he stared at fish for too long, so he tried keeping it to a minimum.

“This place is nicer than I expected,” he commented. He felt like he’d been saying that a lot lately. Mainly with Jonouchi, at restaurants. Or attractions. Anywhere he let Jonouchi take him, basically.

Shit. No thinking about Jonouchi. It was an even harder rule to uphold than he’d originally eared.

“I like going to places like this,” marveled Mokuba with a small smile. “I even thought about installing an aquarium for my office. Salt water, because I like the bright look of the coral. Clown fish amuse me.”

Kaiba snorted in amusement, but didn’t answer immediately. He realized that Mokuba was referring to the CEO’s office in Japan as his office. As he rightly should, since he was the CEO in Japan now. But it was still an odd thing for Kaiba to hear. It had always been his office, in which Mokuba had been a welcome and frequent fixture. He didn’t really have a claim on it anymore. He was living and working across the ocean, and Mokuba was handling Kaiba Corporation in his stead. No--in his place.

The words had left Mokuba’s mouth so easily. He’d really settled into his position, Kaiba noticed. It became more apparent the more time they spent together during the week Mokuba had in California. When Kaiba had left Japan, Mokuba had seemed hesitant, but confident about his newly-appointed position. For a long time, he’d talked on the phone like he was in the position of a stand-in or regent than the actual head honcho.

He’d come into his own right under Kaiba’s nose.

“You wouldn’t be the first businessman to do it,” Kaiba shrugged, “It sounds like a good idea, if it’s what you really want. Assuming you haven’t already done something major to that office. It was never the most welcoming of places...”

That hadn’t stopped him from sleeping there nearly more times a week than he’d slept in his own damn bed, even while he was still a teenager. But Mokuba didn’t have to suffer that. Kaiba hoped Mokuba wasn’t putting himself through it anyway and just not saying anything. Before leaving Domino, Kaiba had been enough of a micromanager that he knew the Japan branch was doing well once he had finally left it to Mokuba. It wouldn’t need the kind of diligence that Kaiba’s reign had required, in the midst of beating back his past board of directors, multiple hostile takeovers from rival companies, and rebuilding the company from scratch…

Mokuba had seen all that happen, and what it had done to him. When they were younger, Mokuba had nagged Kaiba more than once about the soul-crushing schedule he was on. He’d been adamant that Kaiba needed to stop before he got karōshi, but at the time Kaiba was still a teenager and had been very certain of his endurance. It wasn’t until everything collapsed after Battle City that he took his brother’s concerns into account. Mokuba was almost invariably in the right every time he gave advice or said something to gently correct Kaiba’s course.

“So, everything is running smoothly?” Kaiba asked, though he knew he did that plenty over the phone. This time, though, he was asking after Mokuba’s well-being, not a status report on the company. Only his brother could differentiate his meanings by tone. Or even distinguish his personable voice from his “boss” voice. Kaiba had found multiple times in the past that other people could never tell. It was probably why people thought he didn’t tell jokes.

“I’m good, Nii-sama,” answered Mokuba with a tiny glint in his eyes. “I got a serious girlfriend now, in case you were wondering. She’s not a gold digger, so you don’t have to worry about it. I was going to tell you eventually, but I wanted to wait until we hit the year mark because I know how funny you are about outside people being in my life.”

Mokuba crossed his arms and stared at the tank, the blue-green hue bouncing off his fair face. It was uncanny, their resemblance. It was almost as if Kaiba was speaking to a younger, happier version of himself with black hair. He wasn’t quite sure what to even make of that.

“I don’t disapprove of you finding romance,” Kaiba replied. He stopped and looked at Mokuba’s skeptical face, then took a deep breath. “I’m going to worry. You can’t stop me. But I trust your judgment, and if you say she’s not a problem, then I believe you. Does she work at the company?”

“Heck no,” laughed Mokuba loudly before shaking his head. “No, she’s someone I met back in college, during my first year. I just didn’t tell you about her. We only started dating since last year. She’s studying marine biology.”

“She’s smart then, and she doesn’t want your money? You didn’t make her up, did you?” Kaiba snickered. Mokuba gave him the punch in the arm he deserved.

“She’s a foreign exchange student. I don’t think she even knew who I was until graduation. Someone else must have told her, but she never showed much interested in me until I asked her out. And that was relatively recent.

“Nii-sama, you can be such an ass sometimes,” Mokuba laughed. “She’s in graduate school now too, though, so she might be interested in my wallet since she’s got student loans to pay.”

“I’m sure, but she’s a biologist. She’ll manage. Besides, she’s got something special if she’s doing a master’s program in a different country,” Kaiba nodded approvingly before pausing. “And if she’s got your attention.”

Kaiba got swallowed up into his thoughts when they wandered again to Jonouchi. How the hell did he manage to end up falling for him of all people? Mokuba had found himself someone sufficiently of the opposite sex and decent in moral fiber all by himself.

But then he thought about being in a relationship with a perfectly acceptable girl with an adequately prestigious degree and a good head on her shoulders, and found the thought distinctly unappealing. Jonouchi was what who wanted, and who he had to work with, and as with everything the universe dropped into Kaiba’s lap, he wasn’t much. But at the same time, he was everything. Jonouchi was all-consuming, in fact.

“Her name is Amy,” Mokuba continued, “and her family lives in Hawaii. She actually went back for holiday break, so she could visit them and go scuba diving. Apparently we don’t have baby dolphins all over to harass like they do on Maui.”

“I wouldn’t think so, no,” Kaiba grumbled, “Hawaii is a nice place to visit. I’m surprised you didn’t volunteer to go with her.”

“I gotta take care of business here, you know,” Mokuba replied with a smile. “Besides, her mother doesn’t like the idea of her dating a Japanese National. She wants her to stay in Hawaii close to the family. If she met me, she might try and beat me up.”

“Maybe you should take Isono with you if things get serious,” Kaiba snorted, “I wonder what they’d think if they met me. If you end up wanting to stay with this girl, you should probably politely decline if she or her parents want to know what your family is like.”

“I’ve already told her about you, Nii-sama.” Mokuba shrugged. “And I’m sure her entire family knows now, too. I don’t think her father cares too much, but I know her mother does. She seems afraid that I’ll turn Amy into some subservient stepford wife if she marries me someday. I don’t know.”

Mokuba broke into an easy laugh, apparently unbothered by the lack of acceptance. If Kaiba were in his shoes, he knew he’d be bothered. Very bothered. Yet his little brother didn’t seem to care much at all about it.

“That sounds like it could be a problem,” Kaiba remarked hesitantly. “Are you saying your girlfriend’s--Amy’s family actually hates Japanese, or…?”

“No, her mother is Japanese,” Mokuba snorted, “that’s why she doesn’t approve. She wants Amy to marry some white man who’ll worship her. She doesn’t want her becoming another housewife.”

Kaiba started laughing loudly enough that he surprised even himself. He got slightly self-conscious when the sound echoed back off the walls, but he and Mokuba were alone in the circular room. He hadn’t laughed because it was funny, per se, but because of... irony? He could be upset by what Mokuba had said, if he really tried, but it was honestly just laughable. Amy’s mother wanted her daughter to marry someone who would worship her. Didn’t he want the same thing for Mokuba?

“I think you’ll win her over,” Kaiba chuckled as he recovered his composure. “You’re hardly the type to expect a woman to stay in her place. And you’re a little white, so that might help your case.”

He smirked at the last bit, but Mokuba rolled his eyes.

“Well, that hitch aside, I’m happy for you. I hope things go well. Maybe don’t wait for me to ask before you tell me about the wedding though, hmm?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t going to leave you in the dark forever, Nii-sama,” answered Mokuba as his cheeks colored slightly from apparent embarrassment. “But, to be fair, you kinda left me in the dark, too. So maybe it’s only fair. We’ve been keeping secrets from each other.”

“That’s true. I wasn’t sure how to start a conversation like that on the phone, though…” Kaiba mused. “And I didn’t want to start it at all if nothing was going to happen..”

He could only imagine delivering that news on the phone. Mokuba would tell him how the company had been doing, and then Kaiba would have to explain it turns out I’m at least a little gay and it’s with Jonouchi Katsuya but he doesn’t know yet. No, he didn’t think he could say that on the phone. Maybe Mokuba had felt the same about his relationship, even though it was much less of a calamity.

“Still, you could have told me about the other part,” Mokuba teased with a wide smile, bumping Kaiba with his elbow, “your big realization part.”

“Hm... well…” Kaiba muttered, averting his gaze. “I had no idea how to have that discussion. I barely understand it myself.”

If it wasn’t for his frantic research on the internet, he would never have got past the idea that he shouldn’t have that kind of interest in men at his age, much less accepted that it wasn’t a bad thing. But he still had almost no answers about himself and his sexuality. As far as he knew, he liked women. But he’d never found himself ready to jump into bed with one, even though the thought had always been appealing.

Now he liked a man, and had done a pretty good job so far getting in bed with him.. Twice. So what was that? Straight? Gay? Bisexual? He’d realized very quickly that it was probably too complicated to deal with on top of everything else. For all he knew, he was just slutty. Or very desperate.

He didn’t like thinking about it like that, though. His only choice for his mental well being was to accept that it had happened and it was fine. Or, it would be, if things could work out. It would be nice if he could come out of his adventure without any major emotional scars to sit among the rest.

“Are you not at all disturbed by it?” Kaiba finally asked Mokuba suddenly as the thought made him curious. “Or at least surprised?”

“No, why should I be? Being in love with a man is certainly not the end of the world,” Mokuba laughed before placing his hands on his hips, “even if it is Jonouchi Katsuya you’re all hung up over. That’s the only surprising part.”

“The only surprising part?” Kaiba repeated, side-eyeing his brother. “You’re not surprised by my interest in men? It’s not like this situation is going to have a repeat performance.”

“It’s just not surprising,” Mokuba repeated, wide eyed from Kaiba’s glare. “Look, I always knew you were a little bit different. I grew up with you, Nii-sama. It’s not like I didn’t have a little bit of a clue. I’m not judging you because of it. I don’t care what you do and with who, as long as you don’t share the intimate details to me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Kaiba answered, frowning at the mere thought of how unnecessarily revealing that would be. “I guess I can’t be appalled that you had some idea. You know me better than I know myself half the time…”

He sighed and looked into the aquarium.The fish were still slowly drifting across the tank. Were they just horribly bored, or not very motivated?

“I still don’t know what to do about it,” Kaiba admitted, still blankly staring at the schooling swarms of fish, “There are too many questions, and I hate that. I can’t predict an outcome. Even if I was to talk to Jonouchi about this, and even if for some reason he agreed to have an actual relationship with me instead of--”

He cut himself off as he realized he was about to start ranting, and sighed.

“--Even if he wants a relationship, there’s a decent chance of it not working out, and that’ll be even worse than the rest of this. It’ll mean that all this struggling and upset and finding out who I am, that I’m actually... into men in the first place was a complete waste.

“But I can’t just dismiss him, either. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, and I don’t know if I will again.”

Sighing, more heavily this time, Kaiba crossed his arms, his gaze falling towards the floor. Bless Mokuba for listening so patiently--Kaiba knew he probably wasn’t happy to hear him whine about Jonouchi some more. Once was enough, surely. But Kaiba had been bottling all week, and as usual, once something came out, the rest had to follow until it spilled all over. That, and he knew Mokuba was leaving soon. There was no one else Kaiba could talk to.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he murmured, “Jonouchi is my first... everything, as horrible as that might sound, and I just don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to start a relationship. I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I want to just go back to being alone and not talking to anybody I could potentially get attached to, but I know I can’t after this. I’m in an all or nothing situation, and unlike Jonouchi, I don’t tend to win gambles.”

Mokuba just stared at Kaiba for several seconds as Kaiba stared right back. His face as perfectly passive before he let out a loud sigh, closing his eyes before sucking in a breath. “Nii-sama,” he began, Mokuba’s usually bright tone deepening significantly, “everyone feels that way during their first relationship. Their second relationship... all the way until their last relationship. You want your feelings returned, but you’re too scared to put yourself out there. Until you do, you’ll never know how Jonouchi feels about you.

“You can’t just obsess and drive yourself nuts dwelling on it. Go talk to Jonouchi. Find out what’s going on. Make amends if you must. He’s a forgiving guy, I’m sure you two can work something out. Him being a man should play no part in the situation; get your shit together and go get him. You’ll drive yourself crazy until you do.

“And if Jonouchi rejects you, well, it’ll sting for a while. But you can’t expect people to create your own happiness, Seto. It’s unfair. You are the only person who is responsible for that, and not everything is a high-stakes game. If you always close your heart to everybody, you’ll always be alone.”

Kaiba didn’t reply immediately--he was still absorbing Mokuba’s words, as well as the fact that Mokuba had actually spoken to him very seriously (if wearily). He couldn’t deny that he was right, which was an understatement since Mokuba knew very little about the situation but still managed to have plenty of spot-on insight. Kaiba heaved another great sigh and sat on one of the nearby benches, his stomach beginning to tingle.

“I know,” he acknowledged, leaning into the wall and watching his brother. “You’re right. My only options are to face it, or get over it. I can’t get over it, so…”

So, he’d have to hunt Jonouchi down, ask forgiveness, and then ask him out. Not as his drinking buddy and occasional orgasm supplier, but as a date. Kaiba closed his eyes and groaned quietly.

“I’ve dealt with so many things scarier than this,” he frowned in disapproval at himself. “Why is it so difficult? Is it really like this for everyone?”

“Yes. I thought Amy wouldn’t date me because of my money and fame,” Mokuba smirked. “Americans. You have no idea how much turmoil I was in before I finally got the nerve to approach her over it.

“And I was right. She didn’t want to date me at first because of the celebrity status, but that eventually all worked itself out.”

“Hmm. Well, Jonouchi already knows all the ugly things about me,” Kaiba smirked. “Including the fact that I’m not American.”

He paused when he realized that he’d actually smoothed the edges of his grudge toward America for... being a different country from Japan. Jonouchi had spent the last months sharing his favorite nooks and crannies with Kaiba, getting him outside, introducing him to American pop music in the worst and best way possible…

Did he even dislike the United States anymore?

When he really thought about it, and set his habitual reaction of dislike aside… No, he didn’t. What was wrong with it? Nothing. It was different. Everything was deep fried if it could be and people were a bit less polite and a lot more friendly and sometimes inappropriately open. But he’d learned to navigate that. With Jonouchi’s help. Hell, half the things he did in America, he could have done in Japan, but didn’t because he was too busy being alone. Karaoke with a friend and going to the local bar were experiences he’d missed until he came to America.

Kaiba huffed to himself as he had his small epiphany, and he knew Mokuba was giving him a questioning look, but he’d explain later. When Mokuba came to visit, Kaiba had originally thought about trying to leave with him. One of his goals in running the US branch of the company was to get it working smoothly enough that he could go back to Japan. And go back home.

Now he felt like going to Japan would be a visit. Nothing more.

He wondered when this change happened and whether it was due just to Jonouchi, or him getting successfully melted into the pot, so to speak. He wasn’t sure. Would he want to go back to Japan if Jonouchi rejected him? No, probably not. He couldn’t even lie to himself about that anymore. In spite of himself, Kaiba had grown pretty fond of having his privacy respected, and being treated honestly instead of in exchange for fallacious gestures of respect and acknowledgment of class.

“Mokuba,” Kaiba addressed as he resurfaced from his stewing thoughts. Mokuba didn’t reply verbally, but his eyes moved towards Kaiba, appearing in suspense. Kaiba smirked slightly and rested the back of his head against the wall, his eyes shut.

“I hope you have a smooth flight back to Tokyo,” he offered, opening his eyes to look at Mokuba’s perplexed face. “I think I’ll try to visit for New Years. Make sure your girlfriend is there.”

Mokuba’s eyes widened but he just nodded his head, trying not to make a thing of it. “Yeah, okay, Nii-sama. I’ll make sure to drag her away from the dolphins just for your trip.”

Chapter Text

Kaiba spent most of the day in his apartment, alternating between sitting in pensive silence, and picking at work from home he had either already done or had no business doing. He was only touching it as a delaying tactic. He knew he should have left home hours ago to talk to Jonouchi.

That knowledge didn’t spur him to action, however. He remained determinedly doing nothing all morning and into the early afternoon. He was going to talk to Jonouchi today. Kaiba was. He continued to tell himself that, and had no intention of letting himself off the hook. But the act of actually going to do it was proving difficult.

He had to admit--he was downright afraid to face the situation, mainly due to the chance of rejection that was still very high in his mind. He remembered Mokuba’s words about it--that everyone went through this, that maybe Jonouchi liked him more than he thought. Those things almost comforted him enough not to worry, but then he considered the prospect of going down to Jonouchi’s flat and the anxiety washed over him again.

He chided himself every few minutes for being such a coward, but he was unable to help himself. Procrastinating wasn’t exactly out of his nature, but usually he was the type to work through the most gruesome of messes as quickly as possible to get them over with. He was appalled at himself for putting off what was, comparatively, the least awful thing he’d had to deal with emotionally.

Had he been anxious about being adopted by Gozaburo? No. Neither had he been about taking over his company, firing the board of directors, turning the weapons factory into a gaming corporation, gutting the entire company, dealing with backlash from the press, and getting himself a deal with Pegasus all around the tender age of sixteen... nothing was supposed to scare him like this, save losing his brother.

Then again, the possibility of losing Jonouchi, even as a friend, was in a similar category.

Kaiba sat back in his armchair and sighed. The sun was still bright in the sky--it set slower on the West coast. It was going to be dinnertime soon, and he knew Jonouchi wasn’t working that late. Now might be a good time to head down to the garage. Jonouchi lived right above it, but if he decided he wanted food out, there was a chance Kaiba would miss him if he left.

He still sat for a few minutes, trying to spur himself to action. When that didn’t work, he took it in reluctant baby steps. He stood, got his wallet and keys, put on his shoes. Then he left the penthouse, locking it behind him, and tricked himself into going to the car as if he was just going out for shits and giggles.

Once he was actually in the car, Kaiba felt determination finally kick in, the part of him that was capable of at least feigning confidence at all times. He didn’t dawdle on his way to Jonouchi’s place, nor did he allow himself to get worked up about what he was going there to do. He would just have to deal with whatever came.

It probably wouldn’t be awful no matter what happened, right? Jonouchi wasn’t a mean spirited person. Even if he said he thought they couldn’t be friends anymore--that would hurt, but Jonouchi wouldn’t make a scene about it. Kaiba didn’t like having emotional wounds to mend, but he knew how to take care of himself.

The isolation that would result, though... that would take some getting used to again.

He finally slipped into hesitation for a moment as he ascended the stairs to Jonouchi’s flat. The garage was obviously closed, and a light was on upstairs, so odds were that was where Jonouchi would be. Kaiba took deep breaths as he prepared to knock on the door. He tried not to think about the last time he’d been there, or how Jonouchi might react to seeing him, or...anything, really. He didn’t think about anything. Just the rhythmic motion of his knuckles against the wooden door.

It took several seconds, perhaps because Jonouchi checked the peep hole before answering and had his own internal conflict to overcome. But the door did eventually open, and Jonouchi was standing behind it in loose jeans and a white undershirt, his hair and skin showing signs of being freshly showered. Kaiba inhaled a deep breath when he saw him. He looked good, and beyond that, Kaiba had just missed seeing him. He hadn’t known how much he missed him until this moment. He felt his stomach getting light.

“Hi,” he greeted in English. His voice sounded sheepish to him. It probably was. The thought made him uncomfortable, but there was nothing to be done about it now.

“What do you want, Kaiba?” answered Jonouchi in curt Japanese. He didn’t invite Kaiba inside. His hand was on the door still, as if he was readying to shut the door in Kaiba’s face lest he say the wrong thing to him.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Kaiba replied hesitantly, mildly surprised by Jonouchi’s mood. Then again, whatever Jonouchi felt usually came out at some magnitude higher than a regular person. “More specifically, I--I came to apologize. I suppose I should start by saying I’m sorry for not coming sooner.”

“You don’t say?” Jonouchi opened the door now, but his foot blocked the entrance. He turned his angry darkening eyes at Kaiba, his eyebrows furrowed as his lips fell into a tight scowl. “You took your damn sweet time making your way back over to me. What else did you have to do that was so important? You seemed wrapped up enough in telling me who I could and couldn’t sleep around with, but turning around and pretending I don’t exist for weeks at a time is a-okay with you, huh?”

“It’s true it’s not my business who you decide to be intimate with,” Kaiba conceded, but unlike when he did so with Mokuba, he chose not to clarify that he still resented anyone who got that kind of attention from Jonouchi. “And I shouldn’t have let this stew for so long. I was avoiding the situation, which was selfish. And cowardly. But that’s what I did, so... I apologize.”

Kaiba didn’t have much experience with telling people he was sorry. He could remember rare occasions that had called for an apology to Mokuba, but the closest he’d gotten with anyone else was admitting he was wrong. He wasn’t finding the experience very pleasant, especially since Jonouchi was (understandably) not overly impressed by the admission. What could Kaiba say except that he was sorry? He couldn’t change what he’d done, and he didn’t want to make excuses. The only thing he was less prepared for than romance was asking forgiveness.

“After I left you in the restaurant, I didn’t know how to approach you again,” he explained, hoping context would assure Jonouchi that he wasn’t just going out of his way to be an asshole. “I wasn’t sure I should come back again at all. I was afraid…”

Of you. He left that part out, but it still crossed his mind as he spoke.

Sighing, Kaiba glanced away from Jonouchi, who still looked more than a little irritated, but was at least listening.

“Jonouchi, I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry,” Kaiba admitted, finding himself at a loss for any more words. He stood with his heels together and looked at the ground, already feeling his face heat even before he held his breath and bowed lower than he had for anyone in his life. He was accustomed to receiving these gestures, not giving them, but there were only so many ways to get his meaning across…

He had his eyes shut, but managed to make himself exhale and take another breath so he could speak.

“I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

There was a strange silence between them as Kaiba stared at his shoes before he finally summoned the courage to look up. Jonouchi’s face scrunched up, like he wasn’t sure if he liked what he was seeing or not. His eyes grew wide, but his face quickly turned flushed and he shoved Kaiba hard, making him stand upright before backing away quickly.

“Christ Kaiba, stand up. You didn’t have to get all dramatic about it,” Jonouchi said under his breath, “I didn’t even know you were capable of giving a half-decent bow...”

He was holding his arms with both hands, looking extremely uncomfortable standing there. His eyes kept shifting, Jonouchi looking back and forth between the apartment behind him and the pathetic figure standing before him that was Kaiba Seto.

“What should I have done?” Kaiba asked confusedly. If Jonouchi had been waiting for a particular set of words or actions, he hadn’t made it very clear. “You’re obviously unhappy with me, and you’re not wrong for feeling that way, so…”

“Well,” spoke up Jonouchi, “what are you expecting from me now? I don’t even know what exactly you want from me, Kaiba.”

“I want to be your friend,” Kaiba stated with certainty, “and I doubt you’ve forgotten what I told you the last time I saw you. My feelings about that haven’t changed, but... if you don’t feel the same way, that’s fine. I just want to know where we stand.”

Jonouchi’s shoulders slumped noticeably. His eyes were fixed on his wrists, his arms holding on tighter now as he tapped one foot uncontrollably. Kaiba could see that his face was still red, even though only half of him was standing in the light. Hair lit up from the porch light, Jonouchi appeared as attractive as ever, and he probably didn’t even know it.

“I don’t know,” Jonouchi answered in an uneasy voice, “are you going to make a scene again next time you run into a friend of mine you don’t like?”

“No,” Kaiba frowned, though it was from embarrassment. “I won’t fight anyone in your stead unless you ask. I promise.”

It’s not like fighting people for no reason was a habit of his... hell, before he’d started spending time with Jonouchi, he’d never actually knocked someone out cold before. Then again, Jonouchi might be so concerned because it had been unexpected. Even he could only deal with so much unpredictability, Kaiba assumed.

“I’ve had time to get a handle on myself,” Kaiba muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly. That was putting it lightly. “I respect your right to do whatever you like with other people without me having a conniption.”

“Alright, good.”

Finally Jonouchi looked upon Kaiba. His eyebrows were still crossed, but at least he didn’t appear as angry as before.

“Is that all?” Jonouchi asked.
“Not completely. I also am aware that I behaved like a horse’s ass, and I want to make it up to you but haven’t figure out how yet,” Kaiba stated. He’d actually planned to keep that bit to himself, but it was the first thing that came to mind and it seemed like a good time to be forthcoming. “Assuming you want me around at all in the future, I’m going to find a way.”

Moving out of the door frame, Jonouchi sighed before releasing his arms from his own grip. “Do you want to come in, then? I’m making some tea.”

Kaiba blinked in surprise and didn’t immediately react. The invitation seemed sudden, even if it was delivered in a gruff tone.

“I can’t think of anywhere I‘d rather be,” he answered. Jonouchi let him into the apartment first, and walked straight through to the kitchen while Kaiba took off his shoes. He was in the process of unlacing his second boot when Mio appeared as if from nowhere and started aggressively rubbing her face into his leg. When at first he didn’t respond to her, she head-butted him so hard that she was obviously irritated despite her purring. Kaiba stroked his hand over her plush head and back, scratching the base of her spine.

He liked animals. He’d considered adopting a dog or cat before, but he’d always had a reason not to. Too much time at the office to care for one, or thinking he didn’t want the extra responsibility. Still, it was nice to visit a place that had an animal.

When Mio strode contentedly away, Kaiba followed her lead to the kitchen. He leaned against a counter as Jonouchi put a kettle on to boil. Kaiba felt like he should speak, but everything he wanted to say would only make Jonouchi uncomfortable, he was sure. So he kept those thoughts to himself and leaned silently on the counter, feeling incredibly relieved and light.

Had he really been away from Jonouchi so long that he’d forgotten what it felt like to be around him? Even though he still had no closure regarding what Jonouchi did or didn’t feel for him, or what that might mean for their sex life (if that would even continue), Kaiba still felt good in his presence. He felt happy.

“In case you were wondering, I don’t usually make tea,” Jonouchi said, breaking through the silence as he looked over his shoulder at Kaiba, “but tonight for some reason, I was starting to feel a little home sick again.”

Jonouchi was quick with his movements. Whether it was from practice or nervousness, Kaiba wasn’t sure. But it gave him something to look at as he stood awkwardly in the tiny kitchen. When Jonouchi finished, he handed Kaiba a steaming cup before taking his own to the futon. Kaiba decided to follow, and sat from where he considered it a safe physical distance away as he drank his tea. He still felt mildly on edge, but Jonouchi seemed to be at least trying to get past his anger, so Kaiba forced himself to relax.

“Mokuba came to visit me,” Kaiba stated, feeling it was the only thing that had happened since their scuffle that he could discuss. Prattling about his tumultuous emotional state was an unappealing idea, and Jonouchi would likely agree if he were to do it.

“Yeah?” Jonouchi answered back, looking over at Kaiba with a small, shy smile. “How is he? Still a wild-haired brat who likes to mirror his older brother too much?”

“Oh, no. I think at some point in his life he realized I didn’t cut the right figure to be a role model,” Kaiba scoffed. “His hair is neater now. He’s about my height. He has a Hawaiian girlfriend who’s a marine biology graduate, and he’d keeping up Kaiba Corporation in Japan without my help...”

He paused, sipped some tea, and then continued with a sigh.

“Should it bother me more that he doesn’t really need me at all? I thought it would,” Kaiba mused. “But I’m actually glad. I don’t have to worry about him being in over his head. Although that may change if this girlfriend situation blows up.”

“What do you mean if his girlfriend situation blows up?” asked Jonouchi with a frown, “I mean, if she’s from Hawaii and he’s still living in Japan, that’s gotta be strained. I mean, how did that even happen? I didn’t think Mokuba traveled that much...”

“They met at college. She’s a foreign exchange student,” Kaiba explained, “He didn’t make it sound like it was a problem. I think she spends most of her time in Japan. He said she was visiting home for the holiday to go hang out with dolphins.”

“Go hang out with dolphins?” Jonouchi laughed. “What kind of shit is that?”

“Apparently there are a lot of dolphins there and she wanted to swim with them,” Kaiba shrugged, “because she likes Hawaiian dolphins better than the Japanese ones.”

He was aware that wasn’t the reason, but he was being facetious. He wasn’t totally sure Jonouchi could tell, so he clarified.

“She’s just visiting her family. The dolphins are an added bonus. There are more in Hawaii than Japan,” he explained. He didn’t completely understand the appeal of dolphins in the first place. He was perfectly happy not to interact with things that belonged in a different ecosystem than him. The ocean belonged to them and he had enough sense to respect that.

“So what, she’s a giant dolphin nerd?” laughed Jonouchi as he sipped his tea, “what a weirdo. Your brother is gonna have to compete against giant, laughing fish to get her attention.”

Kaiba actually laughed at that, mainly because somehow his brain allowed a vivid mental image through. He smirked at Jonouchi.

“Even if she does like them that much,” Kaiba snickered, “I think they’ll find a compromise. Marine life is her vocation, after all. If they stay together, it’s likely they’ll be equally busy. That’s my hope, anyway. I don’t know what I’d do if Mokuba lost someone because work got in the way.”

The humor faded from his face at that thought, but he recovered before he could start looking broody. His angst about spending his entire teenage life working was irrelevant and not completely unknown to Jonouchi. Kaiba wondered for a moment if Jonouchi knew how extreme his isolation had been, though. Jonouchi had known he hadn’t had sex before, but even Mokuba hadn’t known Jonouchi was his first experience with everything. He wasn’t sure he even wanted Jonouchi to know that.

“You shouldn’t think like that,” muttered Jonouchi, “I’m sure things will be fine for him. Mokuba’s a smart kid, after all. I think he’d choose the right girl.”

“I’m not trying to be negative,” Kaiba reasoned, “I trust Mokuba’s judgment, and she sounds nice. I have high hopes, I’m just prepared for unfavorable outcomes. Mokuba might not be a little kid that needs protecting anymore, but it’ll still upset me if he gets his heart broken.”

Although it sounded like Mokuba had more experience getting in and out of relationships than he did. That was an embarrassing thought.

“Hmm... If he’s anything like the handsome, smart young man I think he is, Kaiba, he’s probably already dated and got his heart broken, but he didn’t want to upset you by telling the details of it to his older brother,” explained Jonouchi. ”He’s an adult. I’m sure it’s a bitter pill to swallow, but I doubt he’s telling you everything that happens to him in his life at this point. I know my sister keeps her secrets.

“I like to pretend she’s still an innocent fourteen year old, but that would be a lie...”

“That’s how I feel,” Kaiba nodded, “it’s like I missed an entire stage of his life. I’ve never been especially nosy about his personal affairs, but at some point he stopped spending all his free time playing games and started chasing girls, and I didn’t even hear about it until this week.

“Not that I can talk. I dropped a few surprises in his lap, too,” Kaiba muttered and hid behind his teacup, drinking more urgently as he averted his gaze. Talking to Mokuba about that had been both relieving and embarrassing. Thinking about it was just embarrassing. He couldn’t pinpoint why--maybe because he was still wrapping his head around it himself, or because Mokuba being so unaffected made him feel silly for brooding about it.

“Well, I don’t think it’s a time where we are supposed to be that involved anymore,” Jonouchi noted, “I mean, I would have hated to have an older, nosy brother getting into my shit when I was sixteen, let alone now. If Mokuba makes a mistake and needs your help, I’m sure he’ll ask for it. Until then, you gotta focus on your own life, you know?”

The cat jumped onto Jonouchi’s lap. It rolled onto its belly, crying for attention. Jonouchi ignored it.

“Hmm. I feel like he had to offer more guidance to me rather than vice-versa,” Kaiba noted absently as he reached over to scratch the cat’s head.

“Oh well, sometimes that happens, I guess,” muttered Jonouchi. He bounced his feet on the couch before fidgeting. The cat moved, plopping itself in Kaiba’s legs before stretching out on her stomach, front paws touching the tips of Jonouchi’s thighs.

“Sometimes I still call Yugi for advice,” he laughed, although from the look in Jonouchi’s eyes, Kaiba knew he wasn’t actually trying to be humorous. “I thought now that I was older, I wouldn’t need to keep going to him for every time I fucked something up, but I do.”

“Everyone needs someone,” Kaiba reasoned. “Even I couldn’t do everything alone. I tried, when I first moved here, and you can see how that worked out for me.”

“Do you still hate it here?” Jonouchi veered his eyes away. “I’m surprised you didn’t make Mokuba take you back home. I know you don’t really feel at ease in this place, but California really isn’t so bad. Expensive, maybe, but so is Japan. I don’t feel ready to go back, at least not now...”

Kaiba hesitated before replying, figuring out how to phrase his response. His brain seemed to have checked out at least halfway since he entered Jonouchi’s apartment, so he had to wing it.

“I’m not going back to Japan,” he announced matter-of-factly, “I’ve thought about it. I don’t want to. I’ve grown accustomed to my life here, and I want it to stay the way it is. Maybe some of the changes are a hump to get over, but…”

He trailed off, mainly because he knew he was starting to mumble. He worked down the embarrassment he felt and hoped that he wasn’t about to make Jonouchi nervous again.

“...you showed me how to live here. For everything about Japan I couldn’t find, there was something of equal value to replace it. A lot of things are better--I have privacy. I can do things like be here or go punch someone in the face without ending up on the news the next day.”

“Haha, that’s true,” Jonouchi chuckled, “now that you mention it. I remember you having quite the dedicated fan club back at home. I bet they miss you.”

“Not enough to follow me here, I hope,” Kaiba frowned, setting his empty teacup on the coffee table. “I think one person that I actually like is enough company for me.”

Jonouchi smiled. He got up, taking Kaiba’s cup from him before trailing over to the sink. The cat came running, watching Jonouchi as she wove around through his legs. Somehow she managed not to get stepped on. It was quite a feat.

“If you want to stay over,” called out Jonouchi, “set up the bed, or else I’m just gonna sleep on it as it is.”

Kaiba was going to retort that if Jonouchi did that, he’d just sleep on top of him, but he decided that wasn’t an appropriate comment to make just now. He did as he was told, wondering if he was going to be doing a lot of that in the near future, and the bed was prepared for sleeping when Jonouchi returned. Kaiba hadn’t expected to stay the night, but he was nowhere near interested in objecting. There wasn’t much he wanted more for his evening than to spend the night in Jonouchi’s dinky little sleeper couch.

When Jonouchi came back, he took off his shirt and pants, crawling to the far side as the cat followed after him, taking a spot near Jonouchi’s face. His back was turned away from Kaiba, his head over an arm. Jonouchi was near silent, just lying there in the darkness of the room while Kaiba argued back and forth in his head over getting undressed.

The cat moved to sit on Jonouchi’s hip. It stared at Kaiba with its unblinking green eyes. It looked expectant, and since he was already in a compliant mood, he scratched behind her ears after he stripped down to his boxers. When he was under the blankets, he lay on his side, facing Jonouchi but not lying as close as he would normally have. He wanted to, badly, but he knew that wasn’t going to make Jonouchi especially happy. It might not be good for Kaiba, either. He’d reconciled with his emotions, but that didn’t mean he wanted to start throwing himself at rejection.

Soon the sounds of Jonouchi’s breathes became easy and less forced. The cat was purring, her eyes closed, and Kaiba realized that they were both asleep. He was the one who was left still awake, lying in the darkness surrounded by his thoughts.

He’d at least managed to get himself back in Jonouchi’s good graces. That was quite a feat, and Kaiba didn’t even care if he had to humble himself a little bit to manage it. At least Jonouchi was speaking to him again. Really, that was all he could possibly ask for. Although he wasn’t going to leave his new home anytime soon, Kaiba didn’t want to be alone in it, either.

Being back in Jonouchi’s life was fulfilling. He wanted to think it was entirely so, but that wasn’t the case and he knew it. The fact that he was pining still nagged at his mind, and he wanted to talk everything over with Jonouchi in certain terms, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t the time, and if the time ever did come, Jonouchi might be dismissive. He claimed he didn’t think too much about who he slept with. But Kaiba had slept with him, and all Kaiba had done was think about it since. That, and the budding emotions that were complicating everything.

He didn’t just want to have sex with Jonouchi. He wanted to be with Jonouchi. He wanted to be the only person Jonouchi went to bed with, woke up with, or laid close to under the sheets in the afterglow. He wanted to be welcomed to stroking Jonouchi’s hair when he wished, to touching him, hugging him…

He wanted everything. Was that too selfish? Was it self-entitled of him to want Jonouchi to himself?

His eyes trailed over the back of Jonouchi’s head in the dark, following the outline of his ear down to his neck and over his shoulder. Kaiba wanted to touch his back. He remembered what it was like--smooth, muscular, supple like the rest of him. But Jonouchi was asleep, and if he was awake he’d very likely freak out. Kaiba sighed, thinking he should roll onto his back, but he didn’t. He kept staring as the familiar ache started to grow in his chest.

“You asked what I expected from you, but never told me what you’re willing to give,” Kaiba murmured in frustration. Jonouchi continued breathing heavily, but Mio perked up curiously at the sound of his voice before deeming his actions inconsequential and resting her head again. “What do you want from me? I’m happy to be wanted as a friend, and that should be enough, but…”

He trailed off and frowned. Having this conversation out loud instead of in his head wasn’t going to make it any more conclusive. But it was reducing the pain in his chest, so that counted for something.

“I don’t know if I can just be your friend, and also do what we do together,” he stated, “I can’t be your friend, but also go on dates with you and have sex with you when the mood strikes. And then watch you run off with other people.”

He was still and silent as he felt his own words dissipate into the air. Somehow, the quiet only frustrated him further. He rubbed his eyes.

“Fuck,” he cursed sharply, which of course did nothing to disturb Jonouchi’s slumber. “I missed you. I missed you more than I even knew. I forgot what being happy felt like while you were away. I’m not just your friend, Jonouchi, I feel much too strongly for that. Say what you want about heartbreak, I know there won’t be anyone else. This is it. This is all I want.”

He watched Jonouchi’s shoulder rise and fall as he breathed. His inhaling was so deep that the cat sitting on his waist rose and fell with him.

“But it’s up to you whether I get that. It doesn’t matter how hard I try--if you don’t want me, then a friend is all I can ever be. I can’t stand being this powerless.”

Not that there was anything he could do about it. The whole point of being with another person was that they made autonomous decisions, right? He could be the boss at the company, but he couldn’t just direct Jonouchi to want him that way.

“I don’t know what to do,” he sighed, now speaking more to himself than Jonouchi’s unconscious silhouette. “And I don’t want to ask, because I don’t want to lose you completely. But this is painful, and I’m not sure I can put up with it forever.

“Maybe someday, soon, you’ll have it in your heart to love me back. I want to be worthy of that place in your life... It’s a foolish hope, but it’s my hope.”

Kaiba slumped back under the sheets, forcing his eyes to close. Jonouchi stirred a little, but quickly quieted after the cat adjusted herself again. They fell into a steady rhythm, lying apart but hearts beating at the same time. Eventually, floating far from consciousness, Kaiba lost himself to sleep.

FOUR MONTHS PAST

Usually after a late night full of heavy drinking, Kaiba would allow himself wake up slowly in a room with the blinds closed, debating in his head the merits of getting out of bed or not. He lived alone, so it was always nice and quiet while he eased himself into the day, slowly adjusting to light, sounds, and smells of his bedroom.

Such was not the case when he opened his eyes to strange surroundings. Greeting the morning with a grumble, Kaiba became vaguely aware of the mattress under his fingers being uncharacteristically lumpy, unlike the one he was used to sleeping on regularly. He ignored it out of tiredness first, figuring he could sort that out later, but then a sharp crying sound roused him, breaking him from falling back to sleep. It turned into a low trilling murmur, a sound he couldn’t identify in his half-asleep mind until he felt weight on his chest, the pressure too obnoxious to ignore any longer.

He started to open his eyes for the sake of clarity when he was swatted in the face with something stiff and fuzzy. As Kaiba spluttered, shifting away from the feeling as he blinked his eyes open in a panic only to find himself confronted with the glaring face of an agitated cat. Mio started crying at him in earnest; Kaiba turned to where Jonouchi lay so he could tell him to do something about the animal before he frowned in surprise.

Jonouchi wasn’t there. His place on the bed was not only empty, but cold. His clothes from the night before were no longer strewn across the floor, and his shoes were gone from their place by the door. Kaiba sat up, supporting himself with his hands as he frowned in confusion. He looked back at Mio, who met his eyes and cried again, standing on her back legs to press her paws into his arm. She slipped when he shifted to get out of bed.

Had Jonouchi really left without saying anything? Jonouchi could at least have told Kaiba he had to leave. Was he avoiding him because of what happened the night before? Kaiba knew where he worked, and Jonouchi was probably only a few feet away from him now, since his apartment was directly above his place of work.

Mio trailed after Kaiba as he reflected over it and dressed himself. She was rubbing against his legs furiously and kept weaving between them, nearly tripping Kaiba when he had to lift one leg off the floor to walk. Kaiba growled at her, but she didn’t seem to care. She followed him as he went to get his shirt and jacket off the floor, meowing in an increasingly higher pitched tone until Kaiba turned around and lifted her off the ground, frowned at her.

“What do you want?” he demanded. Kaiba was yelling at the cat, which was stupid. The cat didn’t understand him. Then again, maybe the cat thought the same thing when she tried to tell him... whatever it was she was telling him. She meowed coyly before trying to bat him in the cheek again, so he let her down. She ran from one side of his body to the other after him as he went to the kitchen for water.

Walking over to the kitchen counter, he realized that there was a note next to the sink. It was from Jonouchi, from the handwriting. As Kaiba scanned over the script, he could feel his face become heated as his eyes started to twitch. Jonouchi claimed that he “hadn’t wanted to wake him”, so he’d left without saying anything. Evidently, he’d also forgotten to feed the cat. No wonder she was so aggressive. The last time Kaiba had seen her fed was over twelve hours ago.

Rummaged through Jonouchi’s cabinets for the cat food, Kaiba snatched one before looking for a can opener. Mio seemed to understand. She started to purr and gently rub herself against his calves, and paced back and forth until the open can of food was on the floor in front of her. Kaiba grumbled to himself and scratched behind her ears. as he watched her feed She twitched them. Obviously she didn’t want his attention now that she was fed.

He sighed and stood, looking at the note again. Kaiba didn’t know what to think. Jonouchi had pulled a complete disappearing act that morning, yet he’d asked if Kaiba wanted to get dinner after he was done working. Kaiba wanted to tell him no just to be difficult--Jonouchi had been either thoughtlessly or deliberately distant, neither of which was excusable after what they’d done together.

Kaiba tried to wrap his mind around that. He might understand someday how he could begin an evening feeling secure in his heterosexuality, and a few hours later be jacking off a guy friend while feeling aroused by it. What did that even make him? Kaiba wondered, in a panic, if somehow his sexually curious phase had been delayed into his adulthood, but that didn’t make any sense. He wasn’t curious. Kaiba knew about sex, and had for quite some time. As a teenager, he hadn’t had time to be curious. Puberty had just happened to him, and Kaiba hadn’t thought much of it at the time. He realized now though that Jonouchi was good-looking in a way that made Kaiba want to touch him, which was slightly troubling. He wasn’t sure if he could call that curiosity or something else more serious.

What did that even mean? If Kaiba wasn’t curious, then what was he? Gay? The thought alone made him uncomfortable. He’d found women attractive before, so how could he be a homosexual? Kaiba scratched the back of his head, disgruntled. He didn’t know anything about this except the bare minimum that everyone knew, before being faced with this. But now he realized that he needed to know a lot more than he’d ever thought he would. if he was going to figure out what was going on with him.

Jonouchi had written in the note that he could help himself to anything in the fridge, but Kaiba wasn’t hungry. He was too hungover to want food, and he didn’t have an appetite. He needed time to figure out the crap he’d got himself into. It also occurred to him that he should probably clean himself up while he was at it, too. Kaiba may as well use Jonouchi’s shower while he was there.

He didn’t sit under the warm water for too long. Showering made him feel cleaner, but no more at peace Getting dressed, Kaiba felt slightly perturbed that he had to wear the same clothes from the night before, and he dumped the clothes and towel he’d used into what he assumed was a laundry hamper. Jonouchi had a couple of unopened toothbrushes under the sink, so Kaiba took one unapologetically. On Jonouchi’s note, there was a number that Kaiba could only assume was to his cell phone, but he didn’t like the idea of calling over toothbrushes of all things. Besides--if Jonouchi wouldn’t even talk to him the morning after to just say goodbye, why should Kaiba want to call or text?him at all?

Hell, at this point, Kaiba wondered if Jonouchi even acknowledge it what they did at all...

It didn’t make any sense. If Jonouchi was making it a one-night stand, he shouldn’t have done it at the place where he lived. Or asked Kaiba to dinner after. His actions didn’t add up.

Kaiba sighed and sat heavily on the couch, and Mio immediately joined him and curled up contentedly by his leg. He wanted to be insulted by Jonouchi’s behavior and go home in a huff, but Kaiba couldn’t be that offended by someone who’d sucked his dick. Willingly and enthusiastically. And well, he might add. Not that Kaiba had ever allowed someone to try on him before, but no one had made him feel that good before. Not even himself... He’d also never been comfortable enough to touch someone back, either.

And now Kaiba didn’t even know if it would have felt as good if he had done anything prior with somebody else. He knew he was attracted to Jonouchi, and maybe other men,as well, that wasn’t even debatable anymore. He also knew he was attracted to women, but he’d never tried anything with them to know for sure over just how much pleasure he could achieve with one. He hadn’t even known how sensitive his body could be until last night.

Jonouchi hadn’t seemed to mind blowing him, nor had he judged him for enjoying it. Kaiba had been blushing like an idiot half the time, he was well aware of the sensation of his face warming up uncomfortably. Then again, so had Jonouchi, so maybe they were in the same boat. When he thought about it, maybe Jonouchi had skipped out on him because he was embarrassed. It wasn’t impossible, or at least, Kaiba assumed it wasn’t. Jonouchi was the more experienced between them though, wasn’t he? Was he embarrassed because of the sex or because it was Kaiba he’d been fooling around with?

Kaiba’s brow furrowed in thought as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. The last thing he wanted was the feeling of embarrassment, or to make Jonouchi feel embarrassed--Kaiba meant that in general, but especially after last night. He felt the strong desire to go downstairs to the garage to talk to Jonouchi about it, but he knew that was a terrible idea. What was Kaiba going to do, interrupt him in front of all his friends and humiliate him by telling him he didn’t need to feel embarrassed by what they did?

Kaiba grumbled at himself, realizing he was getting flustered, but he couldn’t help it. Had he done something wrong to chase Jonouchi off? Jonouchi had seemed fine when they went to bed, but maybe he’d just been hiding whatever he felt at that moment. But then again, he extended a dinner invitation for that night to Kaiba, so what did that mean?

Had Kaiba done something wrong? Was he wrong? He’d never been that intimate with someone before, and the thought occurred to him that he didn’t know whether or not he was acceptable. Jonouchi certainly hadn’t acted like he had any reservations about putting his mouth on Kaiba’s dick, but now he wasn’t sure. Maybe Kaiba had pushed the envelope too much when he’d forced himself into Jonouchi’s throat without realizing it. Maybe there’d been a bad taste. He had no idea.

Now Kaiba was pacing Jonouchi’s living room, feeling his hands begin to sweat. Realizing what he was doing and feeling ashamed, Kaiba sat back down quickly. He hoped no one in the garage downstairs had heard his steps, but then he felt like a moron for thinking that when he realized how much noise was probably happening down there.

Kaiba shook his head and rubbed his eyes, trying to snap himself out of the stupid paranoia he was feeling. But what was he supposed to do? Maybe he and Jonouchi hadn’t done everything, but he’d never done anything before, and he’d never even thought about doing it with a man. He had no idea what to think about himself or the situation in general, and Jonouchi disappearing didn’t help. Especially if it was Kaiba had done something wrong unknowingly.

He stood from the couch so suddenly that Mio leapt up in surprise and trotted away to hide in the bathroom. Kaiba decided that he was done having a nice little fret session alone in Jonouchi’s apartment. He had to do something mentally stimulating besides thinking over social scenarios before his mind drove him crazy. Kaiba determined that he’d get himself to work and use that distraction to carry him through the rest of his day--while he was there, he might be able to do some research about whatever the hell was happening to him and his sexual preference. The US web search servers were a little more forthcoming about that kind of thing, anyways.

Once Kaiba ensured that he had everything he’d brought, he quickly realized he had no way of locking Jonouchi’s apartment himself. He didn’t want to go downstairs and ask Jonouchi, so he searched for a spare key. After a little digging around, Kaiba found one, tucked under a loose bit of brick in the stoop, and he locked the front door before leaving.

Honestly, what was Jonouchi expecting? That Kaiba would be in the apartment all day? Obviously not, if the note was any indication. Had Jonouchi really been in such a hurry to disappear that he hadn’t thought twice about being able to lock the place?

That was an extremely troubling thought. Kaiba tried brushed it away, deeming it useless and probably incorrect, but it still sat gnawing at the back of his head. He tried to focus his thoughts on the work he’d be doing that day, and save his speculation for later. After all, Kaiba was supposed to be meeting Jonouchi for dinner sometime after five, since he wasn’t vindictive enough to just stand him up. Kaiba could question him then.

------

After spending a text promptly at five, Kaiba tried not to allow himself to sweat as he waited the short five minutes for the reply. Once he’d been given the name and address for the restaurant, he replied that he’d be there as soon as possible, which of course was immediately. Kaiba was in his car and on the way in mere minutes, and arrived at the bistro quickly. He chided himself for his utter failure to play it cool, but then reminded himself that he didn’t have to. Jonouchi was the one who had to answer for something. Kaiba wasn’t in the wrong this time.

To his surprise, Kaiba was alerted by the hostess that Jonouchi had already gotten them a table. Following her lead, Kaiba began plotting how he was going to handle the whole conversation, and was taking a deep breath in preparation. He decided he’d maintain a scowl so he could shame information out of Jonouchi. However, as soon as Jonouchi saw him, his eyes widened and Jonouchi flashed him a wide grin, waving in so conspicuous a way that only the Americans sitting around them wouldn’t care to notice. Kaiba felt his determined sternness sink into his stomach as he felt tingling begin to take over.

“Hey, you made it!” Jonouchi greeted brightly. “I thought I’d make you try something from here, since I know you probably try sticking to food from home whenever you can.”

Hazel eyes began glancing through the menu, Jonouchi’s top teeth chewing on his bottom lip. Kaiba wished he could stop staring at his mouth, but it was hard to do. He could feel his face begin to heat up. That was the last part of Jonouchi’s body Kaiba wanted to be caught staring at.

“I like the burgers here, but in case you aren’t feeling that experimental, they have a huge selection of fresh fish. I thought you might like that, too.”

“Fish?” Kaiba repeated, trying to fool both Jonouchi and himself into thinking he was very interested in menu options. He was finally able to tear his eyes away from Jonouchi’s lips and focus them on the seafood selection. Halfway, at least. Fish was about the same everywhere, he supposed, so if he didn’t pay attention, he’d just ask for whatever the special was.

“What are you getting?” Kaiba asked, trying to make conversation. What was he doing? Kaiba had come to get answers, not make small talk. Anxious, now he was just trying not to make an idiot of himself by saying or doing something embarrassing. Like blushing at the thought of the night before every time Jonouchi talked.

“A burger and fries,” Jonouchi answered quickly. He paused before clearing his throat, sounding facetious, “actually, I’m getting a Southwest Deluxe Bison Burger with fresh cut sweet potato fries and coleslaw. Does that sound any better?” He started laughing, sounding a tad bit nervous underneath. “Why, want to try a bite?”

Kaiba’s response was delayed for a split second as he actively stopped himself from translating that into an euphemism.

“No,” he replied quickly, though it didn’t sound to natural an answer now that he’d said it. Kaiba probably should have said yes, just to be amiable. But he didn’t want to look indecisive by changing his mind, so he cleared his throat and continued, “You can enjoy it. I avoid greasy foods.”

“Oh...” Jonouchi answered, his eyes turning back to the menu quickly, “Okay. What about dessert? I already know I want something after dinner; a burger won’t be enough. We could share? Do you like chocolate?”

“More than I probably should,” Kaiba replied quietly, his eyes trained on his menu. If he looked at Jonouchi, he couldn’t guarantee he’d keep himself together. “Why, were you looking at something in particular?”

“Yeah,” Jonouchi smiled, his eyes lightening up over the top of the menu, “The fudge brownie thing. It has ice cream on top. I couldn’t finish that alone even if I tried. I’d probably get sick.”

Jonouchi tapped him on the foot when Kaiba delayed his answer for too long. Luckily, the table was draped, so if anyone was watching, they wouldn’t even be able to see.

“I mean if you don’t want any, that’s fine, too. I eat too much as it is.”

“Wait,” was still the first thing that left his mouth after the time he’d spent dazed by the mental imagery. “I’ll most likely have some. I doubt I’ll be able to resist.”

Chocolate was chocolate. Even Kaiba couldn’t turn it away if it was sitting in front of him, after all, and fudge with vanilla ice cream wasn’t something he wanted to turn down, anyways. He just tried not to keep it around for his waistline’s sake.

The waiter arrived to take their orders. Jonouchi started first, which was good since that gave Kaiba more time to decide upon something he wanted. Once it became his turn, he ordered striped bass with rice pilaf and vegetables with just water to drink. Normally he might indulge in wine, but even thinking about alcohol made his stomach knot up. And it wasn’t because he’d gotten sick last time.

Kaiba finally met Jonouchi’s gaze as the waiter disappeared with their menus. Jonouchi still looked bright and excited, but Kaiba had finally managed to school himself into a more serious expression. He hoped he looked like that, at least. He didn’t want to act even more foolish by coming off shy.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed at low volume. Jonouchi seemed to sense that Kaiba wasn’t in the best of moods, and his expression sobered. Kaiba felt a pang of guilt, of all things. He preferred Jonouchi bright-eyed and half-smiling, not slowly sinking into his chair. He decided to make this quick. “You left this morning without saying anything.”

“I know,” Jonouchi answered, his eyes looking away as his face colored noticeably. “I had to get to work, I overslept. It was early and you looked tired, so I left you a note. Didn’t you see it?”

“Yes,” Kaiba frowned, but then he realized it was about to turn into a pout, so he reeled himself in. “That didn’t explain anything. Given everything that happened last night, I would have appreciated you at least telling me you were able to leave.”

“I didn’t think you would have wanted to see me,” answered Jonouchi, “I thought you would have preferred I leave you alone. Besides, didn’t you have work, too?”

“Why would work be so important that you couldn’t interrupt my sleep for five seconds?” Kaiba blinked, his face starting to betray the disbelief he felt. What on earth was Jonouchi’s thought process? Was he lying, or was he actually that dismissive? “And why would I want you to leave me alone?”

“Because you always want me to leave you alone?” Jonouchi answered in a question. “Look, I’m not that good at this sort of thing. I’ve never invited someone over before, I don’t know how the protocol goes for it. Most guys don’t care.”

Kaiba sat silently at first, processing everything that had just been said. He didn’t know where to start. Aside from being misguided, some of the things Jonouchi had said were downright concerning, but Kaiba didn’t know if it was the time to pick at Jonouchi about his lifestyle. Aside from the part that related to him, anyway.

“I’d hoped that, if not the past couple of weeks, then at least last night would have given you an indication that I enjoy your company,” he murmured. It was difficult to say. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it, but there was a strange kind of emotion behind it that made Kaiba want to stop talking. “Besides. Disregarding the fact that I’m not... most other guys, as you say, it’s just plain rude to ditch the morning after.”

“Look, I’m sorry, Kaiba,” Jonouchi stressed with frown. “I didn’t know you’d get upset over it. I’m used to leaving after I’ve overstayed my welcome. I thought leaving would have made things less... I don’t know, weird for you? I didn’t want to freak you out in the morning by getting all in your face.

“Besides,” Jonouchi said, looking away before sighing and placing his chin into his propped up hand, “I never really thought too much before about what I was doing with the guys I fooled around with. We were both drunk. I came on to you. So, I guess I assumed it didn’t really mean that much so I should just, I don’t know, get out in case you were mad or something. I don’t want to make things all weird between us. I like our friendship.”

“I do too,” Kaiba replied, tilting his head as he mentally puzzled over Jonouchi’s line of reasoning. “From my perspective, you running off without a word demoted me to a one-night stand instead of a friend. Although I don’t imagine you’d leave a one-night stand in charge of feeding your cat…”

He said the last in a mutter as he thought back to how he’d been awakened that morning, then shook his head and sighed.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not upset that you were gone, exactly. I would have liked it better if you weren’t, but I get it. You had your reasons. I’m more concerned with finding out where we stand, exactly. Am I your friend? Do you see me as a fling now? I don’t know what to do about it, I don’t exactly have prior experience,” Kaiba stated flatly. He couldn’t think of many people who might have experience with that particular thing, but his point stood.

“What?” Jonouchi gasped. His face turned beet red as his eyes went big. “Jesus, Kaiba,” he muttered, taking a long sip of water that he choked on a little before trying to take a deep breath. “I invited you over because I wanted you to have a good time. I like having fun. I’m sorry if that was weird for you. If you prefer us not, I don’t know, crossing boundaries, I won’t invite you over again like that. I didn’t think over it very clearly at that moment, I was kinda really drunk...”

Jonouchi paused before closing his eyes and speaking again, “Doing what I did with you doesn’t change the fact that I can still be your friend. Or at least, I don’t think it does.”

“I want you to be my friend,” Kaiba muttered. He felt stupid saying it. Wasn’t this the same kind of shit he’d considered sappy years before when he heard it coming out of the mouths of Yugi and a much younger Jonouchi? Actually, scratch that. This was in no way similar. Kaiba didn’t think so, at least.. and he wasn’t about to ask. over it, either. “I don’t... I don’t know what it means about me, but I liked what happened last night, so that’s not the issue.”

“Of course you liked what happened last night,” snipped Jonouchi, “what kind of guy wouldn’t?”

“How should I know? Obviously not me,” Kaiba huffed. “Why so defensive? I wasn’t trying to claim there was anything not to enjoy-”

“-I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” answered Jonouchi, his face draining of color. “Can we please change the subject to something else?”

“What…” Kaiba nearly whispered, confused. Jonouchi was so blunt and loud and shameless, and now he was blanching at discussing sex? With the other person he’d done it with? Just yesterday he’d been gyrating in front of a crowd of people. Gyrating on Kaiba, to be specific. Kaiba tried to accommodate Jonouchi’s request, but for once in his life his mind had drained itself of any other kind of content and refused to generate something else to discuss.

“We could... talk about my complete inability to introduce a new topic,” Kaiba suggested, for lack of anything else better to say.

“You’re not being funny,” Jonouchi answered with a scowl.

“I rely on you to be the social one between us, and you’re now putting me on the spot,” Kaiba remarked, “I technically changed the subject. If you want me to be funny too, I’ll need a bit more time to think.”

Jonouchi just frowned deeply, becoming silent. The food arrived soon after, and once Jonouchi’s plate was placed before him, he tore into the burger fast, becoming unable to speak. He didn’t show any signs of slowing down, either, and once the burger was gone, he started stuffing his mouth full of fries. Any ability to speak was quickly replaced by the sole-occupying desire to eat as much food as he could scarf down his throat. Kaiba wondered briefly how Jonouchi had even thought he would share food with him if he ate it so urgently.

Kaiba, on the other hand, slowly and delicately sampled each part of his meal before starting to eat in earnest. He was somewhat astonished to find that the food was actually very good. Everything on his plate tasted clean, warm, consistent, and flavorful without any oil, ketchup-y sauce or overabundant salt. Kaiba zoned out eating until he was about halfway through the fish, then looked at Jonouchi. He was finishing his fries. Jonouchi averted his gaze when their eyes met for a moment.

“Those fries are made of sweet potato?” Kaiba asked, looking at the thick, bright orange fried slices. They definitely smelled like sweet potato with salt.

“Yeah,” answered Jonouchi quietly, “weird, huh?”

Chapter Text

It was weeks before Kaiba managed to make contact with Jonouchi again. At first, the time apart was excusable--Jonouchi had a job and, Kaiba assumed, other activities in his life that he did when Kaiba wasn’t around.

But after an entire week of hearing Jonouchi’s answering machine continually, Kaiba became perturbed. Perhaps his messages started to reflect on that, because Jonouchi called him back finally full of apologies... at a time that Kaiba would most definitely be at his office, unable to take personal calls. Jonouchi left him a message asking to plan an outing. Kaiba did so, even going so far as to do the research and find both food and activities in town that Jonouchi would probably be interested in.

They agreed on a day (through messages, but still) and Kaiba rested slightly easier with the knowledge that he’d be seeing Jonouchi again soon. If he’d agreed to see him, that probably meant things were fine between them. Right? Jonouchi wouldn’t go through the trouble of playing phone tag with him if he didn’t want to see him.

But then Jonouchi left him a message in the middle of the night a day before they were supposed to meet, saying he had to cancel for one of a set of reasons Kaiba had come to know as defaults for flaking. He was highly insulted by the pitiful attempt from Jonouchi to spare his feelings, as well as the fact that Jonouchi was bailing in the first place. Kaiba tried reasoning with himself that it wasn’t unusual to go a few weeks without seeing a friend, but that didn’t change his feelings. Admittedly, he was hurt. Whether it was personal or not, that was how he took it.

Kaiba was a little less than gracious about the situation. Jonouchi had said in his message that they should take a rain-check and suggested Kaiba call him with a day in mind. Kaiba didn’t call. He didn’t call, he didn’t text, and as much as possible, he didn’t think about Jonouchi at all for the next several days. It was vindictive, yes, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel like the slate was clean unless he had some kind of recompense.

While Kaiba was busy not thinking about Jonouchi, he got to thinking about...well, Jonouchi. Namely, why this event was happening in the first place. If Kaiba had been describing the situation to an outsider, he probably would have felt and sounded very silly. He was getting worked up over something completely ordinary. People had plans fall through all the time, it was a normal part of being friends with someone.

But the context now made things less casual. The last time Kaiba had seen Jonouchi was following their tryst, something that was still rocking Kaiba’s boat if he was honest with himself, and while they hadn’t parted on bad terms, there had been a feeling of irresolution hanging in the air. Jonouchi was uncomfortable with him and Kaiba didn’t know why. Kaiba was uncomfortable because of it, and for the part of it that Jonouchi knew, he didn’t seem to really care about it.

Along with that mess, there was the fact that Kaiba had even been unable to run into Jonouchi at the usual bar they frequented together. It was possible for them to have missed each other every time, of course. But Kaiba considered himself skilled at avoiding people and situations he didn’t want to be around, even those that were omnipresent, and he could recognize it when someone else was doing it to him.

His thoughts about Jonouchi changed over the course of their few weeks apart from anxiety and concern, and near pining for his company, to determinedly waiting him out. One of the many voices in his head remarked that it was counterproductive to give the cold shoulder to someone who was avoiding him. That was true, but it was making Kaiba feel better, if only because it tricked him into pretending he had conscious control of the distance.

It was the only way he could think to cope with being ignored.

By the end of the week, Kaiba had transitioned to the point that he considered the silence lengthy enough, and was determined to be the one to resolve it. Now that he was done being begrudgingly distant; he’d be damned if he let Jonouchi get away with blowing him off any longer.

Kaiba didn’t bother with the phone. He wasn’t going to subject himself to being a number of missed calls or voicemail messages. What would he say, anyway? He wasn’t going to beg for Jonouchi’s time, and it wouldn’t do any good to leave him passive-aggressive remarks, either. No, Kaiba chose to go to the bar. He went early, maybe an hour after they opened, and he stayed there patiently for several hours to wait for Jonouchi to show up. Because he knew he would, eventually.

Kaiba thought he’d have to repeat this process for several days, but whatever gods had decided he’d have shit luck were merciful to him this time. Jonouchi appeared sometime after nine, fortunately before Kaiba had time to eat enough yakitori to really start hating himself. At least he’d been smart enough to sip on the same drink for the past few hours, even if he couldn’t nibble through the food that slowly.

Jonouchi didn’t see him when he came in, which was odd, since his eyes were obviously scanning the bar nervously. Kaiba frowned when his suspicions were confirmed, but he schooled his expression as he stood from his table. Even though he was barely keeping frustration under the surface, his thoughts diverted for a moment as he wondered how Jonouchi could possibly have not seen him. He didn’t stick out in a Japanese bar as much as Jonouchi did, but he didn’t exactly blend in either, even if he wasn’t so tall while sitting down on a chair.

When Jonouchi was seated at the bar, Kaiba approached him deliberately from his blind spot until he was within a few feet. Jonouchi immediately noticed his approach in his peripherals and looked over his shoulder curiously, his eyes widening a bit when he saw who it was. Kaiba only glanced at him for a moment before taking the seat beside him.

“Konbanwa,” he greeted in a tone he knew was expectant. He’d used it on Mokuba plenty of times in the past whenever they were about to indulge in a verbal spat. Kaiba knew that feigned civility was petty, but it was a resource he was comfortable using. Outwardly hostile behavior would just frighten Jonouchi away, anyways.

Jonouchi immediately frowned, apparently feeling the tension between them. “I hope you weren’t waiting for me to show up,” he started, picking at a nail awkwardly before sighing, “I’ve been kinda busy lately. Sorry for being unavailable, it wasn’t on purpose.”

“Mm,” was Kaiba’s only response for a few seconds. It certainly felt intentional, and he didn’t feel like letting that feeling go just yet. “I suppose it’s in the past. What are your plans for tonight? I assume you’re here because you’re free.”

“Yeah,” Jonouchi answered before putting in an order for a bottle of beer. His face appeared strained and Kaiba could tell that he was not in a good mood. His eyes were avoiding looking Kaiba in the face, for one, and he wouldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat.

“So, how have you been lately?” It was the worst starter Kaiba had ever heard, but at least Jonouchi was trying.

“Stable,” Kaiba replied simply. That wasn’t completely true, but he’d definitely been in worse states. “It’s been monotonous at work, but nobody is kidnapping my loved ones or illegally usurping my chair.”

“That’s a relief,” Jonouchi snorted, “do you like running Kaiba Corporation?”

“Of course,” Kaiba looked at Jonouchi, his irritation momentarily forgotten due to his surprise. “It’s not exciting day to day, if that’s what you’re asking, but it’s what I want to do. The kinds of things I can do as head of Kaiba Corporation are what I’ve wanted to do all my life. Even on the most boring, grating days, I can’t ask for much more.”

Jonouchi hummed and sipped his beer. “Must be nice then,” he replied, “to know exactly what you want in life and already have it so young.”

“That aspect is nice, yes,” Kaiba agreed, though absently. He was analyzing Jonouchi’s body language. “The road to getting it wasn’t especially wonderful. I think what I gained in short time, I lost in sanity...”

Sometimes he wondered if he lost a part of his personality along the way, too, but Kaiba tried not to think about it too much. The person he’d become was the person he needed to be, and he accepted that reality. Pondering alternate realities wasn’t something he wanted to even begin entertaining in his mind...

“I get the impression that you say that with your future on your mind,” Kaiba pressed. He couldn’t help but be slightly curious about it. It was Jonouchi’s business, though. He could be as forthcoming or not as he wished. But Kaiba was interested, and that didn’t happen very often when it came to the futures of other people besides himself. Kaiba wanted to know about Jonouchi’s future plans, but at the same time, didn’t want to seem desperate to know them. In case Jonouchi made something of his enthusiasm.

“I do, a little,” admitted Jonouchi with the wave of his hand. “I mean, I like what I do now. It’s decent money, the hours are good, and I’m great working with my hands. I like getting dirty and being on my feet and spending my day working on mechanics.

“But I also know that’s not something I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m not studious, I know college isn’t for me,” Jonouchi sighed. “I barely got through high school. I don’t want some white-collar office job and I don’t care about being rich, either. If I could play duel monsters professionally, that’s the only thing I’d want for the rest of my life. And I’m still trying right now, but the money is so hard to come by.”

Kaiba hesitated before speaking, mainly because he found it difficult to choose how to respond, and even more difficult to offer sincere compliments to people, but he forced it out of himself for the sake of getting the downtrodden look off from Jonouchi’s face.

“There’s no need to look so discouraged,” Kaiba muttered, playing with his glass before finally flashing his eyes directly at Jonouchi’s frowning face, “You’re a good player. You’ve never placed lower than third in an honest championship. Even if it takes a while, I’ll be surprised if you couldn’t manage to make a professional dueling career.”

“I wish someone with a desire to give me money would notice me already,” laughed Jonouchi darkly, “that’s the biggest issue. I can’t play if I can’t afford the upfront costs of registration.”

“The professional circuit can get expensive,” Kaiba nodded, “especially if they require frequent equipment upgrades.”

He was actively biting his tongue. It had occurred to him to offer Jonouchi a small sponsorship more than once, but he’d played that conversation to death in his head, and it always ended the same way. If he asked, Jonouchi would decline. No matter what. Kaiba knew that, and he respected that. He also knew that if he pressed, Jonouchi would be insulted, and then Jonouchi would probably in turn insult him. So the whole ordeal was best avoided.

Still. There was something very trying about being able to provide a solution, but not being allowed.

Mainly because they’d had a sexual relationship. If they hadn’t done anything together, Kaiba could probably manage some kind of agreement and not have to worry about any kind of ethics dispute, but now... Jonouchi had blown him, and if that knowledge ever got out, someone could say that Kaiba was giving him the sponsorship in exchange for sexual favors. Neither of them would be able to live through the shame of that kind of scandal.

Kaiba would have to think of something else. He’d never be able to give Jonouchi money up front, at least, without the risk to both of them.

He pulled himself from his thoughts. All that could wait for another time. He wanted to stay focused on the task at hand, which was picking at Jonouchi until he explained his behavior. Maybe it was something he should let drop, but he just wasn’t that kind of person. Besides, it wasn’t unfair of him to want an explanation, was it?

“Jonouchi,” he addressed, his voice quiet. He kept his tone neutral, but the fact that it wasn’t conversational seemed to be enough to make Jonouchi look nervous. “Why have you been so busy? I understand you have things to do, of course, but I could always get a hold of you before. Did something new happen?”

He was feigning curious interest, but in fact he was preparing to be accusing. While he would like to know if something had made Jonouchi ignore him for weeks, and what that thing could be, he had every intention of being offended that he was pushed aside for some new exciting whatever Jonouchi had found.

“Well yeah, kinda,” answered Jonouchi awkwardly. He was blushing profusely now and scratching the back of his head. “I, um, I’m not gonna lie Kaiba, this is going to sound terrible...”

“Compared to the kind of news I’ve had in my life, I’m sure this won’t be that bad,” Kaiba scoffed, unsure if he should be insulted. He decided to wait and find out what Jonouchi was going to say before getting upset about it.

“Okay then,” Jonouchi sighed, “so I met this girl and-”

“Girl?” Kaiba reiterated, interrupting Jonouchi almost immediately, his eyes wide. “What do you mean--girl? I thought you were--what?”

“You thought I was gay?” Jonouchi snorted as he took a swig of his beer before breaking into a brawdy laugh, “God no. At least, I don’t think I am. I mean, there’s certain things I’ll allow when I’m fooling around with a guy, but I wouldn’t, you know, let a dude fuck me or something. I like women just fine, and I’ll chase after one too if she’s worth the effort.”

Kaiba side-eyed Jonouchi narrowly at first, his lips parted as he prepared to speak, but he decided against it. He had all sorts of questions and accusations, but he was sure they’d just roll off Jonouchi’s back. Besides, Kaiba realized not too long ago that he didn’t know that much about sexuality, so it was probably best not to turn his nose up when discussing a topic he was unfamiliar with.

But it did make him wonder if Jonouchi had only done anything with him for the sake of getting off. Could it possibly be that meaningless to him? Kaiba stared at the bar for a few moments as he suppressed the burning in his chest produced by that thought, but the fire showed itself a little when he spoke.

“So, what?” He began with an unpleasant smirk that was something of a twisted parody of humor. “You got bored with me and decided to blow me off to go chase a woman?”

“Huh?” Jonouchi started, his eyes growing hostile as his mouth began to twitch irritably. His cheeks grew red again, only this time it wasn’t from embarrassment. “I don’t know what kind of nonsense you got stewing in your head, Kaiba, but I’m allowed to go hang out with other people. You might be my friend, but you don’t own me. And last time I checked, you weren’t my boyfriend, either.”

“You can do whatever you like, Jonouchi,” Kaiba replied with deliberate, measured neutrality. It took a lot of effort. Venom was trying to fly from his tongue. “But I don’t like being blown off by anyone, for any reason, and I’m even less pleased when someone lies about it. Next time, instead of making plans you intend to break and playing phone tag with me, just be up-front.”

If Jonouchi really thought he shouldn’t care (which Kaiba did, a lot) about him going after some chick, then why did he feel the need to be such a flake about it? Why didn’t he just at least say he was busy and he’d call when he was free? Not that it would have been much easier on Kaiba’s ego, but at least the reveal wouldn’t have been compounded with the fact that Jonouchi had been doing the friendship edition of stringing him along.

“I’m sorry,” Jonouchi said quietly. “Are you going to be able to forgive me?” He tapped Kaiba’s leg with his foot before giving him a goofy grin. “You’re not allowed to be mad at me tonight.”

Kaiba did his damndest to stare Jonouchi in the face with an expression of absolute indifference, but he broke down and sighed when Jonouchi started tapping him again. Their knees bumped. Kaiba was unable to salvage his icy demeanor, but he moved his leg out of range before Jonouchi had a chance to realize he had true power.

“I can’t exactly say I won’t forgive you, since you at least apologized…” he grumbled reluctantly. He didn’t like forgiving until someone had their comeuppance, and in this instance, he was being forced to drop it. It gave him a strange lack of closure. “Why am I not allowed to be mad at you, exactly?”

“Because you’d rather have fun with me tonight than sit here and sulk,” answered Jonouchi with a grin. “I’ll make it up to you. Open bar on me tonight. How about it?”

“How dare you tell me to have fun?” Kaiba argued in a tone of mock offense. He rested his elbows on the bar. “Fine, I won’t hold a grudge all night. But I’ll pay for my own drinks, thanks.”

He understood why Jonouchi had offered, but much as he claimed he was relinquishing his anger, he still wasn’t in the mood to owe him anything. That, and something about being treated by someone who very obviously had less to spare made him feel dirty.

“So,” Kaiba sighed after ordering his first round, “who’s this girl that has you blushing and preoccupied?”

He didn’t know why he was asking. He didn’t care, and for what little he did care about, he didn’t want to know. So why ask? To be a supportive friend? This friendship gig was shaping up to be a serious ordeal.

“Oh, I don’t think you want know about her,” Jonouchi laughed, “but fine, since you asked!” He grabbed a stick of yakitori off Kaiba’s plate before sticking a piece into his mouth, chewing on the meat before swallowing. “She’s a foreign exchange student, from South Korea. Super hot, and she’s a college sophomore at the university. I’ve been tutoring her in Japanese.”

Kaiba started drinking down the scotch he’d ordered to excuse himself from answering immediately. Too much had been explained. Jonouchi had been unavailable because he was tutoring a Korean girl in Japanese. Kaiba could only imagine how that went, since Jonouchi’s grasp of their native language was considered to be on the bad side. He was probably teaching her to speak in his low-class accent, too, which wouldn’t do her any good…

But he seriously doubted they were really meeting that much for Japanese tutoring.

“And how did you meet her?” asked Kaiba, thinking it was a pertinent question, and deftly avoiding having to remark on the initial answer.

“At a bar,” Jonouchi grinned, “that’s how I meet everyone. That’s how I met you,” he snickered, reaching out to kick Kaiba again before he could pull away. “There’s an interesting college club that my friends from work like to go to. She came over to me first.”

“I see,” Kaiba hummed noncommittally. His drink was almost gone. He finished it. “So, does she know you’re sweet on her, or are you waiting for her to succumb to your charms before actually doing something?”

“I like it when they chase after me,” Jonouchi smirked. “I know she likes me. She texts me all the time. I’ve taken her to all the good clubs in town and I’ve met some of her friends. All Koreans, of course.” Jonouchi rolled his eyes a little. “She’s from a rich family too, so you know she’s only here to get that diploma before shipping herself back home to get herself a rich husband.”

“That could make it all the more likely that she’ll fall head-over-heels for a working-class Japanese guy with street smarts and a nice smile,” Kaiba noted, though he was staring into the glass the bartender had just refilled for him, speaking more to himself than Jonouchi. He sincerely hoped he was wrong, as much as he shouldn’t. Obviously, Jonouchi wanted this girl in some capacity, and Kaiba was supposed to be his friend.

But he wasn’t feeling especially supportive. Being neglected on more than one level for some college girl Jonouchi was going to stupid lengths to hump and dump made him less than positive about the whole thing. Why should he have to deal with Jonouchi disappearing for weeks to go chasing tail?

The part of his mind that wanted him to have no peace from himself wondered jeeringly if he’d be so upset if he and Jonouchi hadn’t done all that shit in his apartment. And the answer was no, he wouldn’t, but what difference did it make? His qualms were valid, even without the fact that Jonouchi was calling him a friend and then effectively getting off and ditching him like he would a hookup.

And then acting like it was nothing when Kaiba finally tracked him down.

“If you think she’s just going to go back to Korea and marry someone of her class, then why spend weeks chasing her?” Kaiba asked, keeping the accusation from his voice. He tried very hard to sound simply curious, perhaps humored, but he wasn’t that great a liar. He was a damn good sneak, and he could fake, but lying didn’t come naturally to him. Especially not when he was barely in control of his emotions.

“Because it’s fun,” declared Jonouchi with a smile, “I like the chase. I enjoy dating and it doesn’t matter to me if it lasts just a night or for months after. If it makes me happy, why not? It’s not like I’m being dishonest about my intentions. I’ve never done anything to anyone without some kind of consent, so it’s not even that big of a deal.”

Kaiba didn’t know what to say. The first thing he had to do was suppress a horrible, sinking disappointment that made him feel heavy and cold. He needed help with that, so he sipped on his drink. After the sting of alcohol relieved the oncoming sadness, he felt offended. He wanted to rationalize that there was nothing inherently wrong with Jonouchi’s philosophy, since he hadn’t said anything untrue.

But that understanding didn’t make Kaiba feel any better. If nothing else, it made things worse because now he felt like an idiot for thinking their impromptu tryst had been an indication of anything at all. He wasn’t asking for a relationship. God, no. But some acknowledgement of significance would be a little something. Jonouchi being willing to actually talk about it instead of avoiding the topic like it was dirty would be nice.

Jonouchi hadn’t been dishonest about his intentions, but nothing had prepared Kaiba for how aloof he was. How casually he treated the fact that he did what he did, but how reluctant he was to speak about doing it. The fact that immediately after, Jonouchi was taking no calls and chasing a woman for a relationship that was destined not to last.

“What?” sighed Jonouchi, the word stressed as he dropped his shoulders and frowned. “Are you judging me right now?”

“Not judging,” Kaiba replied absently, but honestly. “Marveling.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean,” shot Jonouchi as he got up from his seat, “what’s your damn problem? You act like I’m doing shit to hurt you on purpose, but it has nothing to do with you, Kaiba. I’m sorry if I gave you some mixed signals...”

“I don’t understand how you’re capable of being so detached,” Kaiba stated flatly, “That’s all. If that’s how you do things, then fine. But I don’t work that way and I hardly expected it, so pardon me if I’m a bit distracted mulling it over.”

“What exactly were you expecting?” asked Jonouchi then, his eyes wide as he began tapping on foot nervously against the bottom of the bar stool. “Do we really need to have some play by play of what we did together to make you feel more at ease, Kaiba?”

“As much as I’d love to require the one thing I know would make you most uncomfortable, no,” Kaiba replied in a low tone. He didn’t want to make a scene, but he was sure it showed on his face that he was about to cross that line, much as it showed on Jonouchi’s. “Don’t get defensive with me just because you don’t want to deal with the fact that the way you act about your little system is wrong. You can’t start treating me like a fling that’s going to disappear just because we fooled around. I’m not going to forget it happened or skirt around mentioning it like it’s some tragedy.”

Kaiba stood as well, peeling his eyes away from Jonouchi, who looked as livid as he was shocked and scandalized. He pretended not to care, and continued speaking as he aggressively pulled bills from his wallet to pay for his drinks.

“All I’m expecting from you is to be respected as your friend regardless of what’s happened between us. I don’t care who you go chasing after, but if you plan to treat me like I’m as temporary as your college girl, I will be,” he warned, though his tone was more one of finality. He didn’t look at Jonouchi, nor did he wait around to give him a chance to speak (or splutter) for himself. Kaiba had the last word, and planned to keep it. He took quick strides out of the bar immediately after he was done talking, and as predicted, Jonouchi didn’t come after him.

Not that Kaiba wanted him to. Assuming Jonouchi didn’t run out to try beating his ass on the sidewalk, he would probably be either throwing insults or apologizing, neither of which Kaiba wanted to deal with. He didn’t want to deal with Jonouchi at all, at this point, and was truly wondering why he’d just spent weeks in a state of anxiety over him. What a waste of time.

He was still simmering when he got home, so he poured himself another drink to sip on while he sat in an armchair and tried to make himself relax. It was after a few minutes alone in the low light and quiet that his anger fled with unpleasant swiftness, and was replaced with the awful realization that Jonouchi probably hated him now. And he had a right to, at this point.

But Kaiba felt he had a right to hate, too. He couldn’t stand being used. He’d done too much of that in his life, and the very reason he’d been so anti-social for so long was to avoid just that. Jonouchi was the last person he’d expected to put him through that kind of crap, but he had--intentionally or not. Jonouchi getting physical with Kaiba only to push him aside after the fact would be suspicious to anyone else, and with Jonouchi it was just…

Hurtful. It was a hurtful thing to do, and it definitely did hurt. Kaiba had no intention of being put through that by anyone. So no, he didn’t feel too bad that Jonouchi might have had his feelings hurt. He knew it wasn’t Jonouchi’s intention, but that was what had happened due to Kaiba’s own expectations.

He sighed and sat back in his chair, his eyes closed. The whole situation was messy. He wondered if it would have been better not to say anything. Maybe this was why Jonouchi was so aloof about his trysts. Even if one of them was with a friend.

Kaiba considered whether or not he should try apologizing to Jonouchi, but he decided against it. He wouldn’t, not just yet. Maybe later, after Jonouchi came to him. Kaiba wanted to be the one to disappear for once.

THREE MONTHS FORWARD

In search of some way to make amends, Kaiba determined he’d find a way to sponsor Jonouchi. It wasn’t as if it would be too hard to act as a benefactor without revealing his identity, and as long as he didn’t tell Jonouchi he’d done it, Jonouchi would never know.

That also meant that Jonouchi would never know it was part of Kaiba making things up to him, but that was fine. It would put Kaiba’s mind at rest a little, and he could start patching things up in Jonouchi’s eyes by taking him to a celebratory dinner.

It was a regional championship. Jonouchi had been spending all his free time training for it, and Kaiba was very sure he’d win. Of course, as a many-time tournament host, he had access to the profiles of all the other active duelists in the region, and most didn’t hold a candle. And those who did, Kaiba doubted could actually beat Jonouchi when it came down to it. If Jonouchi won this, it meant he would be able to compete in the national tournament Kaiba planned to run soon--though that was a company secret at present. A poorly-kept one, since everyone on the scene knew that Kaiba Corporation couldn’t resist the chance to host the first big national circuit in the United States since Maximillion Pegasus, and the dueling stadium at KaibaLand wasn’t there just to look pretty.

Still, Jonouchi at least seemed unaware, so Kaiba provided him with the sponsorship he needed to succeed through the regionals, so he could surprise him later with an invitation to the Kaiba Corporation Nationals. Not that Jonouchi making it in would be a surprise--he’d managed it in the past when he wasn’t even registered in the tournament. But hopefully it would be a surprise that the tournament existed at all.

Kaiba had yet to outgrow his love for leaving people in awe.

Since Jonouchi didn’t know Kaiba was the one sponsoring him, and they were on semi-good terms again, Kaiba opted to watch his duels through the small regional finals. He’d missed a lot of Jonouchi’s victories while he was busy not talking to him, which wasn’t something he could call friendly behavior. So now he was doing exactly what he’d always thought he wouldn’t be caught dead doing--watching from the sidelines to cheer on a friend. Figuratively, of course. Kaiba didn’t intend to make a whole lot of noise.

The duel was taking place in a small-ish, pre-existing arena. Kaiba did his best not to look like he was turning his nose up, but the building was obviously fairly old and the equipment was equally so. He knew everywhere wasn’t going to maintain the standards he did, since they didn’t have to in order to be functional, but he still felt insulted somehow.

Jonouchi didn’t seem bothered by it. Kaiba was watching from the observation balcony that ran the perimeter of the upper floor. There were dozens of other people around him, either loitering and chatting as they enjoyed the atmosphere, or actively watching the game. Kaiba felt nervous for the first time that he might be recognized in a crowd, since some of those in attendance were duelists. He stiffened when he was approached by a woman holding a deck box who asked if he was himself, but all she wanted was a signature and to ask in mock sternness when he was going to host a new tournament.

After she’d gone on her way, no one else seemed interested in approaching him. Kaiba exhaled a quiet sigh of relief and turned his attention back to Jonouchi’s duel. He was still getting his mind around how different it was here--he was out in public, surrounded by Duel Monsters players, and somehow not being badgered into duels or watching a line for autographs form or generally have to defend his person from affectionate assault.

Jonouchi was winning the duel without so much as breaking a sweat. He was prepared for everything the opponent did, even counters and neutralizers. He’d built his deck with near-perfect cohesion and optimized the steps he took every turn. His efficiency was made even more obvious by how disastrously amateur the other player was.

Jonouchi even got a little cocky and stopped looking at the field while the other man scrambled to figure out what move to make. Even Kaiba probably wouldn’t have done that, but he took everything a lot more seriously than Jonouchi did. He didn’t think too disapprovingly, though--Jonouchi had looked away to turn his gaze upward until it rested on Kaiba. He didn’t grin too broadly, but his eyes lit up when he saw him in such a way that Kaiba felt the smallest flutter.

But it only lasted for a second, and then Jonouchi’s turn arrived. It was to be the last, and everyone watching knew it. His opponent’s life points were almost nil, Jonouchi had three powerful monsters and face-down spells to defend them, and he was superior skill wise to the point that even if he lost all that, he could still win.

The other duelist was aggravated and disappointed, but impressed, and asked Jonouchi for tips after the game instead of skulking off in shame. Kaiba made his way downstairs very briskly, determined to get to Jonouchi before anyone else so he could whisk him away. Luckily, Jonouchi didn’t get swarmed by fans, and it only took a few seconds of Kaiba’s best and most patient behavior for the players casually speaking to Jonouchi to disperse. Kaiba stepped in immediately.

“I’m glad to see you’ve only improved with time,” Kaiba noted as way of greeting, meeting Jonouchi’s eyes as he spoke. He realized his voice was a bit quiet. Admittedly, he was a little nervous that something he said would set Jonouchi off, but he tried not to let it show. “I don’t think the other players in this region are ready for someone on the professional level.”

He said that in favor of Jonouchi, but it could be bad for the championship. People liked to watch tense, high-skill matches, not a bunch of newbies getting crushed by a single contestant. Then again, Jonouchi was only the regional victor--there would be other low (and high, hopefully) skilled players from other regions when the championship happened.

“”Everyone starts somewhere,” Jonouchi remarked with a small smile, “I still had fun playing, even if it wasn’t high stake. Besides, I’m sure the National Championship will be much different.”

“Maybe,” Kaiba nodded, “Since it’ll be a competition between the best of each region. There’s no date set for the championship yet, though.”

He wondered briefly if Jonouchi had caught wind of anything, but didn’t think too much about it. Jonouchi would probably be more obvious if he knew Kaiba was already preparing for the championship. He was the only official venue for Duel Monster’s tournaments that could get away with not setting a date and location at the beginning of a season, and he enjoyed it immensely.

“Enough about that, though. What about now?” Kaiba queried. “You’re the regional champion. Don’t you want to celebrate?”

“Are you asking me to go out with you?” asked Jonouchi. He bit his thumb, his eyes trailing away towards the stadium, “I mean, I don’t have any plans for tonight...”

“Well, now that I know you don’t have any plans, then I’m definitely asking you to go out with me,” Kaiba replied, unable to stop the small smile that crossed his face. He tried to brush it off by gazing at the ground for a moment. He couldn’t school his expression while he was looking at Jonouchi. “Anything you want. My treat.”

“I don’t know what I want,” Jonouchi chuckled, scratching the back of his head in that goofy manner of his before he crossed his arms and thought out loud, “I haven’t really been out for a while, and I have no idea what kind of food I want tonight. Give me an idea. What are you willing to eat, Kaiba?”

Jonouchi hadn’t been out? That was a strange thought. But Kaiba knew better than to ask about it just now, so he didn’t dwell.

“You haven’t steered me wrong so far,” Kaiba shrugged, “Hell, you got me to eat tacos. I’ll pay for upscale if you want it, and I won’t complain about junk food if you just want to find something on the street. Or both, if you think your stomach can handle it.”

“I don’t think I could handle both,” answered Jonouchi with a laugh. “How about some burgers and then we go to the bar? I want to drink.”

That seemed like a reasonable option. Inexpensive, probably because Jonouchi didn’t really want Kaiba spending money on him, and unfussy. Kaiba wondered vaguely what he’d decide to eat, just because hamburgers tended to be so greasy, but Jonouchi looked so pleased with his answer, he didn’t fret over it for long.

“Are you going to drive me in one of your fancy cars?” asked Jonouchi with a smirk, bumping Kaiba with his elbow to get his undivided attention.

“Of course. What’s VIP treatment without a fancy ride?” Kaiba smirked, gesturing toward the exit of the building. People were bustling to get to the dueling field next, and Kaiba didn’t see a reason to stay around since they knew where they were going.

“Where should we go for burgers?” Kaiba asked once they were both properly seated in his car.

“Five Guys is good and they’re all over the place,” Jonouchi replied with certainty, “Just drive and I’ll give you directions to one near here.”

It was a short trip. Jonouchi was out of the car and trotting to the building almost before Kaiba had the engine turned off. He’d never been inside this particular restaurant before, but it smelled good outside the doors.

He didn’t know what to think when he walked in. It had an American 50’s diner vibe, which seemed to be very trendy in the States, but the music was too loud for his liking. He didn’t totally understand why there were bags of Idaho potatoes stacked in the entryway of the store, or why on the side of the aluminum bars containing them there were self-serving bulk peanuts. Jonouchi was already scooping some into a cardboard boat for the purpose. There were soft drink dispensers off to one side, and the place where the burger frying happened was visible from any part of the restaurant.

Kaiba wasn’t sure what they were going for. Jonouchi offered him a peanut, looking overjoyed that they were available, but Kaiba declined. He was planning to take a chance on ordering from a new place, so there was no reason to ruin his appetite with nuts.

He ordered a basic burger with fries for himself, and Jonouchi asked for a double bacon cheeseburger with everything on it, and fries. Kaiba was used to this kind of thing by now, and didn’t take note of it until the food was delivered to them and he saw both the generous burgers and heaping orders of fries. The bottom of the bag was wet.

“If you don’t look, it’s less painful to eat,” Jonouchi teased, “don’t make me eat this entire bag by myself.”

“Foiled again,” Kaiba snorted in mock disappointment. He had definitely been thinking about getting Jonouchi to top off his portion, but Jonouchi had grown wise to his tricks after the time they’d spent together, it seemed. “It smells good. I’m just worried it won’t feel good.”

“It’ll feel fine if you’d stop eating like a rabbit everyday,” snarked Jonouchi. “A little junk food won’t kill you, as long as you don’t make it a habit. You need to relax and enjoy your food for once instead of just eating so you don’t fall over and die.”

“I appreciate your patient attempts to re-educate me,” Kaiba snickered, finally grabbing a potato fry, “But it might take a little while to work.”

He’d been very well programmed for a considerable amount of time. It wasn’t a good reason, but it was his reality. His humor fell slightly as he actually tried the food. It was pleasant. He deliberately steered his thoughts away from the grease making a mess of his burger bun and the salt on the fries and concentrated on the fact that the taste made him feel good.

Jonouchi seemed a little satisfied when Kaiba ate without further complaint, if slowly.

“So, did you come to the tournament to watch me play?” inquired Jonouchi. “You didn’t say anything last time I saw you about going to the regional championships. I was honestly surprised to find you sitting in the stadium, when I thought for sure you wouldn’t be interested in such a small competition.”

“Of course I came to watch you play,” Kaiba stated, “Why wouldn’t I? I didn’t say anything because I thought my attendance would be assumed. And if not, I like to surprise people, so either way it seemed better not to bring attention to my plan.

“I normally would ignore anything lower than nationals, but it is the deciding tournament for who of this region competes in the championship, and I wanted to watch you win.”

“Hmm...” Jonouchi glanced down at his burger before taking a bite. He was silent, his eyebrows wrinkling a little in thought before he stuffed a handful of fries into his mouth. “Yugi’s going to come back to town to watch the National Championship, I’m sure of it. He’ll want to know who he’ll be facing in the International Duelists Tournament. Playing for Japan, of course,” Jonouchi huffed. “Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll be meeting him head on!”

“You will,” Kaiba responded simply before realizing his confidence might make Jonouchi uncomfortable. “You’d better, anyway. I’ll be hosting the international circuit, and I’ll be damned if I have to include some amateur instead of you.”

“Not everyone here is an amateur,” Jonouchi stressed as he rolled his eyes, “There are some good players in this country. I mean hell, Duel Monsters started in the United States. It belongs to the Americans, you know?

It just so happened that Mutou Yugi, the most genius of all players, happened to be born Japanese.

“It’s not that I assume all Americans are amateurs,” Kaiba chuckled, “I know better than that. I mean that tournaments of this scale are newer here than in Japan. Here, there was one national tournament before Yugi got on the scene. In Japan, I was able to shut down an entire city to allow for tournament preliminaries. There’s a difference in hype.

“Because of that, it would negatively affect the game if at least some prior victors weren’t involved. Games die on a commercial level when all the pros leave at once. So if nothing else, it’s best for my business if you make it to the championship.”

He paused and watched Jonouchi to see if he followed. It seemed like he didn’t completely, but he got the gist. Kaiba inhaled and continued.

“From a personal standpoint, I feel like it would be wrong if no prior champions like you or Yugi made an appearance. I know that’s because I like things to be same and familiar, but that’s how I feel about it.

“That, and I’ve been watching the rosters. You’re going to make it into the nationals, Jonouchi.”

Tasting the bitterness of the beer, Kaiba peered down at Jonouchi before shaking his head. He was already drunk. Kaiba had covered the tab for the bar. Jonouchi was less reserved about taking advantage of that than food, so he tore through shots and novelty drinks like he didn’t have to walk home that night. Which he didn’t, assuming he didn’t have qualms with Kaiba driving him. But considering they’d shared the bed when Kaiba showed up to apologize, he doubted there would be any contention.

He drank more sparingly. He needed to be able to drive, and one of them had to keep up with Jonouchi. He was in high spirits, but didn’t seem willing or able to concentrate on one thing for more than a few seconds. Their conversation’s topic changed rapidly. Kaiba mainly found it amusing, but he was starting to wonder just at what point was too much for Jonouchi and how he would be able to tell.

“I don’t know how you can have such low tolerance, but high capacity to store alcohol in your body,” Kaiba remarked, quirking an eyebrow.

“I don’t have a low tolerance,” sputtered Jonouchi as he laughed, “you don’t see me all red in the face like the Chinese, Kaiba. I’m fine. I can drink like a real man!”

He was going in and out of English, Jonouchi’s words beginning to slur as he drank his bottle of beer. It was better that way. Kaiba didn’t want him chugging down anymore hard alcohol, so he started buying him Sapporo instead. If Jonouchi was upset about it, he didn’t mention it.

“Do you think you’ll need time to recover before the Nationals?” asked Kaiba, still nursing his second drink. He was in a good mood, so there was no real reason to drink heavily, and he wasn’t trying at all to party. Kaiba wasn’t a binge drinker at heart, really. He did realize he’d taken it up after things with Jonouchi got out of control, though. But that was a train of thought for another time.

“It’s not like it’s gonna happen tomorrow first thing.” Jonouchi snorted before playing with the condensation on the bar counter top. “Besides, I’ve done this shit probably way more than you have. This is my usual thing. I can hold a lot in me before I get sick.”

“I meant more whether or not you were going to burn out if you put your nose right back to the grindstone after the regional finals,” Kaiba snorted. “I’m not foolish enough to doubt your drinking ability. Last time I did that, I ended up singing karaoke.”

Never again.

“Do you always test yourself to see how drunk you can get?” Kaiba queried, though his real question was whether or not Jonouchi was binging to sickness frequently. And if so, why? He could understand here and there, but there was no reason for both of them to have been gambling with their livers.

“Sometimes,” Jonouchi smiled, “when I’m with friends.” He winked at that. His cheeks were all rosy and his lips were dark from sucking the bottle. “I’ll be ready to get back to practicing once this weekend is over. I want to take a small break, but after that, I’m gonna start going hard and really making waves. I want all the other competitors to know who I am before I even make it to the stage!”

“You already made an impression by winning this tournament,” Kaiba nodded, “so I’m sure your reputation will precede you when the nationals start. Maybe they’ll start running when they see you, like they did Yugi back in the day.”

“Doubtful,” chuckled Jonouchi as he shook his beer bottle in his hand, “I might be good, but I’m still no Mutou Yugi.”

“The National Championship will be the judge of that,” Kaiba sniffed, “besides, it probably helped Yugi’s case that people had heard he had Exodia.”

And that Yugi had beaten Kaiba, who up until that time didn’t even have to pay much attention to his opponents to win a match. He wasn’t angry about that loss anymore, though, and it all happened so long ago, too, Kaiba no longer felt humiliated about it, either. At the time, Kaiba’s humiliation had stemmed from his own overestimation of his intelligence. He was leaps and bounds ahead of other people in many ways, of course, but he wasn’t infallible. Back then, he’d assumed he was, and in Duel Monsters, there hadn’t been anyone around to prove him wrong until Yugi appeared.

“You realize that bottle you’re drinking from is empty, right?” Kaiba asked amusedly as he noticed Jonouchi swirling it as if it had liquid inside.

“I know I shouldn’t drink anymore,” Jonouchi laughed, “so I’m going to pretend it’s still full. Just leave me alone to my happiness, why you gotta break things up with reality?” Jonouchi tried to stand, shaky and grabbing the counter as a crutch before putting both hands on his hips.

“I’m ready to be escorted home!” he announced loudly.

“Heh,” Kaiba snorted as he stood, but he spoke at normal volume after he paid the tab. “As you wish. Do you need assistance finding the car?”

“I don’t think so.”

Jonouchi turned towards the exit, not even waiting for Kaiba to join him before he started taking off, saying loudly, “it’s the overpriced sport’s car you paid too much money for, right?”

A man at a table was chuckling. Kaiba just rolled his eyes. Maybe he was used to seeing this sort of thing now.

“I don’t pay too much money for things,” Kaiba muttered in defense of himself, but he realized soon after starting to speak that he didn’t want Jonouchi to hear that. It didn’t seem like he did--his half-shambling step never faltered.

They not only made it to the car, but to Jonouchi’s apartment in safety. Kaiba had to help Jonouchi getting up the stairs, but once there, he was capable of unlocking the door himself and even navigating into the kitchen to get a can of cat food. Kaiba slipped off his shoes and locked the door behind him. If it was presumptuous to do so, Jonouchi wouldn’t be shy about telling him.

Jonouchi looked like he was trying to set up the bed, but he was too drunk to work it out. He eventually stared at Kaiba with a definite pout, so Kaiba obeyed the unspoken demand and helped with getting the bed ready. He wasn’t sure if he’d be granted a place in it until Jonouchi stripped down to his boxers and fell in, sighing after his back hit the mattress.

He rolled over before pressing Kaiba’s leg with his left toe. “Let me see you in your underwear,” he teased before fluttering his eyelashes. “Strip for me.”

Kaiba was stunned into silence at first, and watched Jonouchi to see if he was joking, but he wasn’t. He was in good humor, but not joking. Kaiba felt slightly panicked for a moment, thinking that he had no idea how to do a strip tease, and was concerned about making a fool of himself. Then he remembered doing karaoke with Jonouchi and reminded himself that he was capable of many things he’d never tried before.

So he stepped back and undressed himself not like someone who was trying to get undressed, but like someone who was wholly unoccupied with getting undressed but whose body was continuing to do it anyway. He had the thought that something like this was better done with sexy underwear, but he brushed that off. He didn’t plan to do anything like that in the future, even if he could.

As he walked back toward the bed, still in his underwear and looking curious, he met Jonouchi’s eyes.

“So long as I’m taking requests,” he began in a low voice, “would you like anything else?”

“I don’t know.” Jonouchi broke into a fit of giggles before climbing under the sheets and hiding under there. His cat came trotting over, sitting near his legs.

“Ugh, you’re giving me too many options right now,” laughed Jonouchi, his voice muted from having half his face covered by the bed sheet, “is there anything right now you want to do while I’m here with you?”

“Plenty,” Kaiba replied a bit absently. He was looking at Jonouchi’s half-hidden face, his closed eyes, his body half-curled under the sheets. He looked at the cat that was already aware of what was going to happen. He sighed and sat down on the empty side of the bed, pulling the sheets back.

“Let’s go to sleep for now,” he suggested, “you’ll still be with me in the morning.”

“But it won’t be the same.”

Jonouchi moved up towards him, laying by Kaiba’s side. He touched his hair before breaking into a dumb smile, his teeth showing before reaching over and licking Kaiba on the tip of his nose.

“I hope you weren’t expecting a kiss!”

“That’s exactly what I was expecting, and you knew it,” Kaiba grumbled in malcontent that was only half joking and flicked Jonouchi’s nose. “If you aren’t going to feel like licking my face in the morning, I think it’ll be an improvement.”

“I won’t,” Jonouchi snickered, “I’ll probably feel like throwing up, actually. But I’ll live.”

He kicked Kaiba playfully before shutting his eyes. “Thanks for taking me out. It was nice.”

“It was,” Kaiba agreed. A small smirk crossed his face. “Maybe I’ll take you to breakfast, too, since you’re planning to lose your dinner.”

“Oh, I don’t even want to think about eating right now,” bemoaned Jonouchi. “Pet my hair, so I can fall asleep.”

“Pet your…?” Kaiba began, but before he could be fully incredulous, he realized he didn’t really mind. Hell, the idea even sounded enjoyable. He obliged, which didn’t appear to surprise Jonouchi at all. Kaiba tried and probably failed to avoid being on the sensual side, but what mattered to Jonouchi were the fingers in his hair running over his scalp. It didn’t take long for his breathing to nearly match the slow rhythm of Kaiba’s finger-combing.

He watched Jonouchi fall asleep, or watched him until he assumed he was asleep. After that point, he couldn’t really stay awake himself, and transitioned into half-consciousness with his hand resting on Jonouchi’s face. For a split second, he tried to wonder what on earth had gotten into Jonouchi, and why he hadn’t capitalized on the chance to make that thing himself, but Kaiba decided to just stop caring about it until morning.

Chapter Text

Kaiba woke the next morning without so much as a sour taste in his mouth, though he was groggy enough for the previous night’s events to elude him for a few seconds. When he did complete a play-by-play in his head, he was pleased to discover that he hadn’t done anything physical with Jonouchi the night before. Or even anything especially sexual, save the little amateur strip-tease Kaiba was still unsure why he’d done.

Jonouchi was lying beside him, still as if sleeping, but scrunching up his face and covering his eyes with his arm. He was awake, and not feeling too hot. Kaiba nudged his shoulder and got a grumble in response. The moment the cat heard that, she leapt down from where Kaiba assumed she’d been sitting on the windowsill and trotted to the bed. She jumped on the mattress easily and walked directly onto Jonouchi’s chest.

She sat there expectantly in silence, dodging Kaiba’s fingers when he tried to pet her. Then she started making a familiar, demanding meow that signalled she was ready for breakfast. Jonouchi groaned and batted her away, but Kaiba got up. He was ready to start his day, anyway, and Jonouchi was being hung over and boring. No way was he going to lie there and put up with the cat yelling, too.

Once Mio was fed and silent, Kaiba had the brilliant thought that maybe he should feed Jonouchi. He mocked himself by thinking it was adorably domestic, but shook it off. Friends brought each other food when they were sick or hungover. They just didn’t normally cook it at the sick friend’s house. After sleeping with them.

He looked through the fridge and cupboards for something that would be easy (and wouldn’t make Jonouchi more sick), but to no avail. Jonouchi didn’t even have any fruit. What did he eat for breakfast on a normal day if he didn’t have fruit? Or anything he could easily grab and run off with?

Kaiba grumbled in frustration as he finished his search, knowing that something could be made from what Jonouchi had, but that he didn’t have the patience or skill required to make them. He was a bachelor and an office worker. He didn’t need to know how to cook.

That said, breakfast was still a necessity. He walked back into the living room and bent over near Jonouchi, who was still looking ill and agitated.

“Hey,” Kaiba interrupted, using his knee to nudge Jonouchi’s arm that hung off the fold-out bed. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Water,” cried Jonouchi, “lots of water. My head hurts.”

“I can bring you water, but that’s not breakfast,” Kaiba insisted. He paused for thought. “What about coffee? That will help.”

“Sure, just don’t bring me anything black.”

Kaiba chose not to argue that black coffee would probably be most appropriate for the situation, and left Jonouchi with a tall glass of water before dressing and leaving the apartment. He locked the door behind him with the spare key he’d been keeping since the first night he stayed there. He wondered briefly if Jonouchi had ever noticed it was gone.

While Kaiba was at the nearest coffee shop, he realized he could hit two birds with one stone and get Jonouchi some kind of pastry or some other junk that would help settle his stomach. He got Jonouchi a basic coffee (but not black) and a muffin. Then he thought better of it and got a second muffin for good measure. With fruit, just to make sure the meal would be somewhat healthy.

He had opted to walk to the coffee shop, because it was barely a block away, but he disliked carrying the spoils back. He felt like an intern, which was the last thing he wanted to experience. At least it was early enough in the morning that there weren’t people on the sidewalk to ask him oh-so-funny questions about being “stuck getting the coffee”.

When he returned to Jonouchi’s apartment, Jonouchi was in nearly the exact place Kaiba had left him. He’d moved his arm a little bit to drink water. The glass was empty, but Jonouchi was feeling too pathetic to fill it himself. How did he take care of himself after nights like this? Kaiba was under the impression that he got drunk a lot, if not totally plastered.

He didn’t ask about it; he just sat on the bed beside Jonouchi and pressed the coffee cup against his hand until he mumbled quietly and grabbed it. Kaiba snorted and sipped his own coffee.

“If you sit up, I’ll feed you, too,” he teased. He was only half-confident that Jonouchi would actually do it, but he laboriously righted himself enough that his head was higher than his stomach. His eyes were still scrunched shut, and he had a deep frown on his face that Kaiba had never seen before...

“No...”

Jonuochi used one hand to push Kaiba on the shoulder before trying to fix his hair.

“Where did you go for the coffee?” Jonouchi sipped it just tentatively at first before actually settling into it. “I didn’t think you’d ever go into a place like Starbucks,” he snickered.

“It was down the street,” Kaiba shrugged, “and I never thought I’d eat out of a bag that was wet at the bottom. I’ve done a lot of new things since I ran into you again.”

“Fries aren’t so bad,” Jonouchi mumbled. His eyes brightened a little bit more though, and he smiled at Kaiba from behind his cup of coffee. “Did you at least have fun last night?”

“Of course,” Kaiba assured him before sipping more of his coffee. This was how he always started his morning, hungover or not. He didn’t feel quite right until he’d fueled his caffeine habit. “It’s a little more important that you had fun, though, since it was your personal after-party.”

“Oh, I always have fun,” snorted Jonouchi, “I can make my own party when it comes down to it. I know how to have a good time, even with a sourpuss like you.”

“I can’t deny that…” Kaiba muttered. He wasn’t always sure what it was Jonouchi brought out of him when they were together. He did not consider himself the type to do a strip-tease, private or otherwise, but he clearly remembered doing it. He hadn’t even had the good grace to be embarrassed. He’d even had fun doing it. He knew he had some odd things about him, but he liked to maintain the illusion (at least to himself) that he wasn’t too much of a deviant.

Maybe he wasn’t--after the whole smut show and how Jonouchi was looking and speaking to him last night, Kaiba was astonished that they hadn’t done anything. He should have wanted to keep things decent to begin with, but instead, he’d been more than happy about the half-offer of fooling around or whatever Jonouchi had wanted with him.

He’d restrained himself. Reluctantly. Kaiba was happy he had, because after all he’d said thus far, he didn’t want to take any and every opportunity to be sexual with Jonouchi. If anything, he wanted to avoid it altogether. But last night he’d come very close to giving in, and he could have gotten away with it. Not for the better, but still.

Kaiba didn’t want to deal with the unclear roles they played in each others’ lives. Jonouchi could either be his friend, or he could be his lover. The in-between was too hard to take. Kaiba could restrain himself emotionally without the inclusion of sex. They’d just be right back in turmoil if he let himself get tangled up with Jonouchi sexually again.

It sounded a little awful in his head, but he also wasn’t totally sure he could be just a friend to Jonouchi. He did want to be Jonouchi’s friend--that wasn’t the issue. But he knew what he felt, and he couldn’t bury that in himself forever. He didn’t know what Jonouchi thought about it, or whether he’d ever consider having a real relationship with him, but Kaiba hadn’t pressed him for an opinion, either.

He wasn’t trying to evade a romance, by any means. If Jonouchi approached him that instant with a relationship in mind, he would take the opportunity. Kaiba just needed things to be simple so he could cope, and restraining himself helped.

But that wasn’t everything. The whole reason he’d elected to give Jonouchi a strip show and even had sex on his mind was because of Jonouchi. Jonouchi encouraged it, and made the offer for something to happen. Kaiba wondered in frustration if Jonouchi completely understood what he’d meant when he’d said he wanted to be friends. That was what he could do. Maybe it was less convenient for Jonouchi than someone he could just flirt and paw at whenever, but that wasn’t a spot Kaiba wanted to fill.

He knew that might be on the prudish side, but really, it was only because he couldn’t handle being a fling. For anyone. It wasn’t personal to Jonouchi, it was only made worse by the fact that Kaiba... really liked him. And it hurt to feel like just another one-nighter. So maybe his life would be a little easier if Jonouchi wouldn’t flirt with him all the time, at least with obviously no intention to do more than get off.

Kaiba sighed and shook his head. If he was going to have a talk about feelings with Jonouchi, it was better saved for a time when Jonouchi wasn’t nursing a hangover and barely awake.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed to get his attention. Jonouchi had nearly finished his coffee and was eyeing a muffin. “Not to sound unappreciative, but... why do you flirt with me all the time? I’ve never seen you act that way with your other friends.”

His eyes flashed, Jonouchi caught in Kaiba’s gaze as his face turned red, his ears burning. When the look became too uncomfortable, he avoided Kaiba’s eyes altogether, snatching an apple muffin before stuffing it into his mouth and swallowing.

“Why would you ask me that?” he demanded, “You’re not supposed to point out things like that, Kaiba. It’s embarrassing.”

“Wh--” Kaiba blinked, slightly surprised by Jonouchi’s sudden display of humiliation. He knew Jonouchi had a sense of shame, but normally it didn’t reveal itself while talking about sexual topics. “I’m not trying to embarrass you. I only wondered because--well, we’re friends, but you flirt with me all the time. You don’t flirt with your other friends. I’m not completely sure what that means about me.”

“Well, you are embarrassing me,” accused Jonouchi, “why do you even want know? Does it matter to you that much? Honestly, I can’t even really help it.”

“You can’t... help…?” Kaiba started, pausing halfway through sipping his coffee. He turned his face away from Jonouchi and actively worked against blushing. Looking or acting flustered wasn’t going to help him make his case. Jonouchi’s response had nearly dissuaded him from trying in the first place, but he forced himself to persist.

“It only matters to me because--well, I’m trying to establish boundaries, to put it simply,” he explained slowly, hoping that Jonouchi wasn’t already offended. He didn’t look it, but he was definitely still aggravated about the whole conversation. “I wondered if your idea of normal behavior between friends is different from mine.”

“I know what normal behavior between friends is, Kaiba,” snapped Jonouchi as he finally turned his eyes towards him and scowled. “Let me remind you that I tried to be your friend some many years ago, and you turned me down along with everyone else. Repeatedly. You’re the last person on earth who should be trying to say that kind of shit to me.

“I said I couldn’t help it because I can’t,” Jonouchi muttered, “but I’ll try to curb it, since you’re so uncomfortable.”

“I’m comfortable with you, Jonouchi,” Kaiba sighed. He wasn’t sure if it was from weariness, or disappointment. “But you know how I feel. I’m happy to be your friend, but it’s hard on me when you do things like that. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it is. I’m not trying to accuse you of anything.”

“Then what,” Jonouchi huffed, crossing his arms and frowning before sighing himself, “you think I’m leading you on or something for amusement?”

Kaiba turned his eyes on Jonouchi and watched him silently for a few seconds while he debated what to say. He settled on being a hostile witness.

“Would you find something like that amusing?”

“Not at all, but you act like I do.”

“I don’t think you’re that malicious,” Kaiba conceded, “I don’t know what you mean by it, Jonouchi. I only know that it means something different to me than to you.”

“Okay whatever, just forget it then.”

Jonouchi turned his frustrations on his muffin, tearing it apart with his teeth. His gaze dropped and Kaiba could tell that the discussion was now effectively over. Gazing at him from over his cup of coffee, he didn’t even know if he gained something by talking to Jonouchi or just further pissed him off.

Jonouchi had said he couldn’t help flirting with him. What did he even mean by that? Kaiba had assumed it was just him fooling around, but he’d been so offended when questioned that Kaiba wasn’t sure anymore. Jonouchi wasn’t the type to string someone along--hell, he’d probably run for the hills before trying to play those kinds of games with people. But he made comments like being unable to not flirt, while still maintaining a relationship they were mutually labeling “friendship”.

Kaiba didn’t know what to make of it. He knew he wasn’t being strung along, per se, but it felt that way because he and Jonouchi were so intimate, but at the same time Jonouchi maintained distance. That, and the freedom to see other people. He hadn’t been stupid enough to ask outright, but he was under the impression Jonouchi hadn’t been with anyone for a while. He could only assume he was on some kind of break while he recovered from dealing with the last piece of shit Kaiba had seen him with.

Maybe Jonouchi was interested, but didn’t feel the need to be serious unless Kaiba announced intentions. But how much more obviously could he say it? He’d told Jonouchi how he felt (in less extreme terms than in his head) and the general response had been akin to a shrug. It was better than anger, he supposed, but Jonouchi’s lack of opinion on that information was upsetting.

It occurred to Kaiba that Jonouchi might be trying to be subtle, but he brushed that off immediately. Jonouchi and subtlety didn’t belong together in the natural order, and that was the way Kaiba preferred it to stay. And if Jonouchi subtly did anything, it wasn’t expressing his feelings.

Kaiba watched Jonouchi continue eating through his muffin, though now his pace wasn’t being further increased by anger. He knew it was impolite and generally inappropriate of him to stare, but Jonouchi had yet to notice. Kaiba felt the unpleasantly familiar feeling of words trying to escape his throat, but his mouth remained shut. He wanted to just ask Jonouchi what he felt about him and have it done with once and for all.

But at the same time, he didn’t. Because he wasn’t sure yet how he would handle it if Jonouchi told him he could only see them as friends. It might even be worse if Jonouchi said he wanted a romantic relationship, because then Kaiba would feel like an idiot for not being able to tell. He’d also be angry that Jonouchi hadn’t thought it pertinent to mention it up to then.

That was all hypothetical, though. What he knew was that he and Jonouchi were friends, and Jonouchi couldn’t help flirting with him. Kaiba didn’t want him to. He liked being flirted with by someone he wanted as much as anyone else would. In this instance, the problem was that the person he wanted didn’t want him, or didn’t want him the same way. Probably.

He didn’t know anymore. He wished he could think one thing and stick with it. Jonouchi finished eating and gazed at him suddenly, his eyes curious. Kaiba hummed and leaned back, hoping his expression wasn’t betraying his thoughts.

“I actually should leave,” he stated quietly, frowning at his unfinished coffee. He didn’t like drinking it on the go. “I’d like to come see you again soon, if you want to hang out.”

He stood and turned a bit stiffly toward the door.

“I... hope you feel better soon. Stay hydrated,” he offered, for lack of anything better to say. Tension was still hanging thick in the air, and he had no way to dissipate it.

“Thanks,” Jonouchi answered quietly before he dropped his gaze. Kaiba opened the door to leave, taking a step out before Jonouchi cleared his throat.

“Hey Kaiba,” he called out, looking back at him with a tiny smile on his face, “I just want you to know that I did appreciate you taking care of me last night. I don’t know too many people I could count on to let me have fun like that anymore. You were like, the best lay I’ve ever had even if we didn’t do anything... And that’s not me trying to flirt with you, I’m being serious. Thank you.”

Kaiba was at a loss for words momentarily, but more because of the unexpected sincerity than what Jonouchi had said. Not to say that Jonouchi’s words hadn’t been at least a little astonishing.

“I’m almost certain it’s not appropriate for me to feel as flattered by that as I do,” Kaiba replied, trying not to let his lips curve into an embarrassed smile. “But I can argue with myself about it later. I appreciate that, and I’m always happy to spend time with you, Jonouchi. I hope you know you can call me first when you need a crutch to get you home.”

“Yeah I know,” Jonouchi snorted, “although I don’t think I’ll be drinking like that again for at least a month. I forgot what a true hangover feels like.”

“I haven’t,” Kaiba smirked, “which, aside from being the designated driver, is why I kept my indulgence to a minimum. The coffee should help you to beat your headache, at least...”

He went to put on the shoes he’d left by the door, and glanced at Jonouchi again as he grasped the door handle. Jonouchi didn’t look like he’d be getting up anytime soon, but he was doing better than he had when he woke up. Kaiba wasn’t sure what to say, even though he felt like something was supposed to be said. He settled for offering a small smile and wave just before he opened the door and walked outside. He locked the door with Jonouchi’s spare key.

He wondered, as he put it back in his pocket, if Jonouchi could have possibly failed to notice he had taken it.

Looking back at the door, Kaiba could feel his face begin to burn a little. No, he had to have known. Jonouchi probably wanted it that way.

THREE MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba spent a good deal of his time at work, and a good deal of his time at work thinking silently at his desk. He was aware that when his thoughts weren’t going very smoothly, his brow would slowly furrow and his lips would press into a firm line. It was usually how his secretary knew to leave the room without him having to suggest it to her.

This afternoon, his problem wasn’t with future business plans or the company stocks, tangling with board members, any number of international issues between branches--none of those things made him happy, of course, but at least applying his wits could solve the problem. In this case, the problem was that he couldn’t solve any problems because his mind kept wandering.

He stood from his desk and walked to the floor-to-ceiling window he’d built into the office to mirror the one he’d had in Japan. The view was very different, of course. Even his reflection seemed different, but he hoped that was his mind playing tricks on him. He wanted to sit down and focus on his work, but his body was unwilling to cooperate. For the first time in his life, determination alone couldn’t carry him through.

While he confronted himself with his overflowing inbox, his thoughts strayed to things like nights at the bar, and time he’d spent out and about with Jonouchi. It was ridiculous. Not long ago, thinking about going out in the first place would have put him in the mood to hole up and get some work done. Now the opposite was true.

Yes, going to the bar nearly every night and chatting with Jonouchi was nice, but it had a time and place. Work first, then pleasure. He understood that. He’d always understood that. Why was his brain suddenly so uncooperative? Why did he have such an awful longing to just leave? It was still mid-afternoon, anyway. He couldn’t make everything happen faster by skipping out on work and getting drunk before five.

Kaiba groaned quietly and rubbed his eyes. Inadvertently, he’d only given himself more opportunity to get distracted. He walked to his desk and sat, his fingertip pressing the intercom button as he did. When his secretary’s voice sounded from the other side, he spoke.

“Have one of the interns go get me more coffee,” Kaiba commanded, hoping that caffeine would at least work as a band-aid for his delinquent attention span. “And a cheese danish.”

“Sure thing!” She replied. Kaiba frowned slightly in response to her ever-present, casual attitude. He’d been getting that a lot. Even the interns replied as if trying to assure him that he wasn’t troubling them. Of course he wasn’t. He was the boss.

“Did you need anything else, sir?” His secretary’s chipper voice drew him from his musings. He shook his head.

“That’s all.”

“No problem!”

Kaiba turned his chair away from the intercom and looked dead-on toward his computer screen. He was supposed to be looking over spreadsheets, but it wasn’t going very well. Or quickly. He wouldn’t tolerate this kind of behavior if he saw an employee doing it, and he shouldn’t be allowing himself to slip.

Similarly, he wouldn’t approve if he saw someone dawdling around ordering food in the middle of the afternoon, especially with the normal work hours ending soon. He didn’t take food with his coffee in the past. He couldn’t quite pinpoint when he’d started. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he’d ordered a pastry, of all things, with what was intended to be a final stretch pick-me-up.

Kaiba was unaccustomed to being ruled by cravings, and even more unaccustomed to indulging them. Where was his willpower? He tried not to think about it much, but combining his multiple daily coffees with sweet snacks was going to make him fat. He’d already noticed that his frame was filling out a bit--not enough to ruin the fit of his clothing, but enough to frighten him.

A lot of things were frightening him. He was getting more and more inept at focusing at work, his new sweet tooth was making him fat, and he was developing a more intense alcohol habit than he’d already had because going to the bar with Jonouchi was fun to him now. What had he been doing? How did this start happening?

He supposed it was because he’d bumped into Jonouchi, at least in part. He couldn’t blame Jonouchi for his newfound taste for garbage food, though. He could say Jonouchi was a bad influence and turned him into an alcoholic, but for some reason he wasn’t as upset about it as he should be. Kaiba never drank so much on weekdays before he started drinking with Jonouchi.

He’d never gone outside so much on any days as he did after meeting Jonouchi again, either. Maybe that was why he couldn’t be upset. It was a bad habit forming, but it was in exchange for company and activity that he sorely needed. They weren’t easy things to come by, either. But was it worth it if he was changing into someone he barely recognized?

He felt somewhat out-of-body again when he realized that he was thinking about Jonouchi at all. When they’d first started spending time together, he only thought about him as much as was necessary to go to the bar and get drunk. Now he thought about Jonouchi more than he liked, every day, no matter where he was. It wasn’t even rational thoughts. Kaiba found himself inappropriately curious about what Jonouchi was doing, where he was, sometimes even how he was feeling. It wasn’t like it was his business.

He also found himself mentally replaying the conversations they’d had, smiling or even laughing quietly at his desk like a damned idiot. He would have died of humiliation by now if his office wasn’t private.

Thankfully, the intern arrived quickly with his coffee and danish, not speaking when Kaiba snatched the items out of his hands. Some of the Americans would have taken offense, but he seemed too relaxed to even bat an eye. At least that was something. Kaiba already had gotten one guy in tears after two weeks of work, and he didn’t want to be heckled by the PR department about his personal skills anymore.

He sipped his coffee quietly, staring out the window. It was black, with just a little bit of sugar. Starbucks coffee, which at first Kaiba balked to, but now it was habit. Coffee was coffee, and it didn’t matter who brewed it, only that he got it quickly and efficiently. The danish, with the warm cream cheese and flaky exterior, wasn’t bad either.

There was a low buzzing as Kaiba’s cell phone vibrated on the table. Picking it up, he opened his text messages before holding his breath.

“Got no dinner plans. Chinese tonight?”

It was Jonouchi. The quest for the Korean student must have fallen through. He hadn’t bothered talking about her in quite some time. Kaiba didn’t even think it was really worth mentioning, although he was slightly curious. If he’d given her up, then who was the new beau he was going to begin going after next?

His eyebrows felt heavy and his mouth, tight. Kaiba tried to relax his features. No point in worrying about it. He texted his curt answer (yes but that was it) and turned off his phone.

There was only crumbs left from his danish, the dregs of his coffee rimming the bottom of the cup. Kaiba pressed his intercom button again.

“I’ll be at the gym if anyone needs me.”

“Of course, Mr. Kaiba!”

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his jacket and put it on. At least at the gym, he could beat himself up and not feel too bad about it.

The restaurant Jonouchi had specified had nice ambiance, and nicer smells wafting around the interior. Kaiba was aware that he had arrived a few minutes after Jonouchi probably had, and walked straight toward the seating area to find him. Jonouchi had chosen a fairly secluded booth in a back corner of the restaurant, keeping with Kaiba’s preferences up to now. He looked up from the menu he was investigating when Kaiba stood by the table.

“Sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

“Habit,” Kaiba shrugged as he took a seat. “Business associates get nervous when I force them to greet me first.”

That, and he almost never was sure how to open a conversation with Jonouchi. But the burning up and down his chest told him not to say that.

“Am I a business associate to you, Kaiba?” asked Jonouchi with a bemused smile.

“No, and if I have any luck at all, it’ll stay that way,” Kaiba replied with certainty. Then he glanced at the second menu on the table. “Do you want to recommend me something so I won’t sit here vacillating?”

“Beef and pepper stir fry,” Jonouchi advised as he pointed to it on his menu, “and I’m going to order the General Tso’s chicken, because that’s my favorite. I also already ordered some appetizers. I got egg rolls, dumplings, and salt and pepper fried squid. Maybe you didn’t know, but tonight I’m going to treat because we’re going to celebrate.”

“What are we celebrating?” Kaiba asked, hoping an explanation would make him less bewildered. He felt small, concentrated areas of his face heating up at the thought of being treated, but tried not to think too much of it. He usually treated Jonouchi--it only made sense that he’d want to repay the favor eventually. It didn’t mean anything.

“My first whole year in America!” announced Jonouchi loudly, “I didn’t really know anyone when I first moved here and I don’t have many close friends in this country, so I’m glad you’re here to celebrate with me. I know Chinese food is a funny choice for a celebratory meal, too, but it’s one of my favorites.”

“It’s your celebration. If you like it, that’s what you should have,” Kaiba shrugged. “Congratulations on making it for a year. It seems like you’re doing well for yourself, so I can understand you wanting to make an event out of it.”

He hadn’t thought much about his own time in America, except that it was slowly converting him into a fatty. If it wasn’t for stress driving him to go to the gym all the time, Kaiba feared he’d already have a gut by now. He wondered vaguely what things would be like for him after a full year in the States, but he brushed off the thought. He probably wouldn’t care any more than he did now.

“I’m flattered that when you thought to invite a friend, you ignored your coworkers and chose the guy who stands silently beside the table to make people nervous,” Kaiba joked, though he was actually trying to probe Jonouchi for an explanation. Until recently, Jonouchi had been happy to leave him high and dry for potential random hook-ups whenever it suited him, so Kaiba hadn’t thought it wise to assume he was a close friend. Jonouchi was making it sound like he was, and Kaiba needed something to either justify or douse the excitement that sparked in him.

“Well, my co workers are assholes, and they get too drunk, so I didn’t really want to do this with them,” explained Jonouchi as he rolled his eyes, “and besides that, they wouldn’t understand what it was like to leave home. They’re all American, and I thought of all my friends here, you’d be the one to understand how I feel.”

The waitress appeared suddenly with three huge platters of food, setting them down between them as Jonouchi grabbed his chopsticks and started at the fried squid first.

“I miss home, but I try not to think about it too much,” told Jonouchi as he stuffed with face and grinned. “I don’t want to feel sad about it.”

“Company definitely helps,” Kaiba agreed, nabbing a bite of fried squid to try. The taste was good enough that he immediately wanted to take more, but he restrained himself. Jonouchi seemed to be having a good time scarfing down the food, and Kaiba didn’t want to overstep.

Once Jonouchi had made his plate (piles of egg rolls, squid, and dumplings covered in their appropriate sauces), Kaiba began taking his fill. The waitress came back and they made their final dinner orders before having their tea refilled.

“Do you like it here at all?” asked Jonouchi. “I hope you do. I’d be sad if you left.”

“I like the places you take me. I like... doing these kinds of things with you,” Kaiba reported in a progressively less intelligible mutter. He shook his head slightly before continuing. “I won’t be leaving anytime soon. I can say that much.”

He ate some squid immediately after answering, partly to stop himself from acting as awkward as he felt, but primarily because the squid was delicious. He wished he could order it with his coffee.

Jonouchi took a bite out of his steamed dumpling, making cheesy orgasmic noises before grinning and eating the entire thing. “I noticed that you’re starting to look different,” mused Jonouchi with a smile, “You aren’t so skinny anymore. I like it. You’ve been filling out.”

Kaiba felt like he’d reached the end of an emotional roller coaster when Jonouchi finished speaking. He was horrified that he’d gained enough weight for other people to notice, but hearing that it was liked made him feel almost proud of himself. But he didn’t like the mental image of himself ‘filling out’.

“Why are you making that face, Kaiba?” laughed Jonouchi as he bit into an egg roll.

“I appreciate the compliment,” Kaiba assured him, “I’m just not sure how I feel about ‘filling out’.”

He paused, staring at his plate as he thought. Then he grumbled quietly and sighed.

“Honestly, I was hoping all the time I’ve been spending at the gym would be enough to counteract it, but that didn’t completely work.”

“Kaiba, I didn’t say you were fat,” snorted Jonouchi loudly. “You look in better shape now than you ever did before. It’s a good change. Asian guys usually look way too skinny, like they’re still lanky teenage boys or something... Now you don’t.”

“Oh,” Kaiba blinked. His gut was doing uncomfortable things again. “Well...thank you. I’m a little surprised you even noticed, but I’m glad you decided to tell me…”

Maybe he’d feel less distressed about the change in his own appearance if he at least had the memory of someone saying he looked good that way. He was always going to be his own worst critic, of course, but he knew the value of public opinion.

“I wasn’t trying to react strangely before. I just thought you were telling me that the damn Starbucks pastries I’ve been eating were starting to show.”

“I didn’t know you were making a habit out of eating Starbucks,” laughed Jonouchi again as he started finishing his plate. His eyes were lit up, the light catching in them as his face glowed in the low light. “Eh, whatever you’re doing is working for you, so I wouldn’t stop if I were you.”

Kaiba snorted, trying to look amused even though he was averting his gaze in embarrassment. He tried to force himself to calm down. He wasn’t used to feeling genuinely flattered. He got a lot of flattery from people who were trying to impress him, but it didn’t usually work. He was silent for several seconds as he ate, hoping that the quiet and enjoyment of the food would ease the tingling in his chest and intermittent, pestilent fluttering in his stomach. He wasn’t completely successful.

Finally, their meals arrived. Jonouchi became too busy dishing out his plate to continue speaking and Kaiba was grateful. When Jonouchi was too busy eating, he wouldn’t be making potentially stirring comments that Kaiba couldn’t help but take to heart.

He hardly understood what was happening to him.

They arrived at Kaiba’s place late, Jonouchi already giddy from the drinks at the Chinese restaurant, stumbling around the foyer after he’d taken off his shoes looking for the kitchen. Kaiba knew he wasn’t really all that drunk; Jonouchi was a little buzzed, but still pretty cognizant. He’d asked Kaiba permission to come over, and now he was looking around for the fridge so he could put away the leftovers.

Once he was done, Jonouchi let out a low whistle.

“I can’t believe this place,” he said while turning towards Kaiba, his face lit up while he set his hands on his hips before shaking his head, “You’ve been keeping this from me. And all this time, you’ve been coming over to my rat hole when you had an apartment like this!”

Kaiba snorted before shaking his own head.

“I like your place,” he disagreed. “The apartment is upscale, but it feels as personal as a hotel room.”

“Well, maybe you need to add some more personal touches to it!” declared Jonouchi. “Take some pictures and frame them or something. Maybe get a cat. You have such a nice space, it wouldn’t be that hard!”

Kaiba didn’t know what to think. The apartment was expensive, with a great view, but rather generic. There was nothing that special about it compared to all the other pricey penthouses in the area. His just happened to be reasonably close to the Kaiba Corporation office and Kaiba liked not having to drive that far.

That, and the staff was discreet. They never got into his business.

He looked around again as Jonouchi made himself at home on one of his leather couches. It mirrored his old place in Domino very well. Same modern aesthetic, same grey scale room colors and palettes. Kaiba didn’t like being challenged with bright colors and oddities when he was at home, and coming from the office to somewhere at least comfortably familiar was something his tired psyche could handle.

A thought light up in Kaiba’s head, and he was too tired to keep from spilling it out loud.

“What happened with that Korean girl,” Kaiba asked before frowning. “You’ve never brought her up.”

“That’s because there isn’t much to bring up,” snorted Jonouchi as his mouth turned into a sly kind of smirk. “She transferred schools a few weeks ago.”

“That’s it?” Kaiba blinked. “You sounded crazy about her.”

“Yeah,” Jonouchi sighed, “I thought I was, but she turned out a little crazy. Really needy and just wanted my attention all the time. I wasn’t really looking for a long term girlfriend, so she got mad and that was the end of that.”

Jonouchi shrugged. He seemed so unaffected.

“That sounds kinda bad, doesn’t it?” asked Jonouchi.

“A little bit,” Kaiba answered quietly. “I’m sure you have your reasons, though.”

“Don’t judge me too hard,” Jonouchi laughed. “I mean if it makes you feel better, you were right about her not being worth the time. Gah, I’m always getting caught up in people who aren’t good for me!”

Jonouchi laughed before getting up from the couch, grabbing Kaiba’s hand to lift him up from his seat. Kaiba just blinked before compliantly rising from his chair.

“Hey, do you mind if I stay over?” Jonouchi asked, squeezing Kaiba’s hand slightly. “I don’t really want to bother calling a cab to take me home. It’s so late already, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Kaiba answered neutrally, “You can do what you want.”

“Okay, great!”

Jonouchi took off after that. He seemed to be on a quest, searching around before he found what Kaiba assumed was his bedroom when he heard a great gasp.

“This is the best view I’ve ever seen!” His voice announced from down the hall. “You have a fucking jacuzzi in your bathroom?!”

Kaiba came inside, closing the bedroom door behind him as Jonouchi collapsed on top of his bed, letting out a loud, content sigh.

“This bed is temperpedic, isn’t it?” Jonouchi amused. “Oh my god, if I were you, Kaiba, I’d never want to leave this place.”

“You’re easily impressed,” Kaiba said before taking off his jacket. “I’ve stayed in nicer rooms before.”

“I haven’t!”

Jonouchi began getting out of his clothes. He was grinning playfully as he began kicking his clothes across the room, making eyes at Kaiba the entire time. Uncomfortable, Kaiba turned around, feeling his body temperature rise before he escaped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

He had no idea what his problem was. Jonouchi was in his bedroom, lying in his bed, half naked and expecting. Kaiba stared at himself in the mirror, putting a hand through his hair before collapsing his face into his hands. He let out a low grumble, feeling his ears burning before slapping at his face repeatedly.

“This is stupid, just go to bed...”

He began to take off his clothes, rushing through changing before Kaiba glanced at the mirror again, staring at his new physique. Jonouchi wasn’t wrong, either. His body had major improvements. Instead of looking like the tall, lanky teenager from years past, Kaiba noticed that his body had transformed into a man’s. It was a strange feeling. While he wasn’t cut all over, his muscles were beginning to show healthy definition and the new body fat he’d gained only made him look better. His skin was glowing and when Kaiba poked at his abdomen, he could feel lean muscle underneath poking back.

“Damn...”

No wonder Jonouchi was so enthralled with him. Kaiba wasn’t sure how he missed the change. Maybe he was too busy being prickly to actually look at himself naked in the mirror.

Shaking his head, Kaiba grabbed his boxer briefs and pulled them up before brushing his teeth, turning off the bathroom light as he entered the darkness of the bedroom. It was quiet, and Kaiba used the light from his wide bedroom window to help him find his way, taking the opposite side of the bed as he noticed the great lump that took up the spot where he normally slept.

He laid down on his back. His hands fell stiffly at his sides, and Kaiba let out a shallow sigh before he heard the sheets move.

“Hey Kaiba, you aren’t sleepy just yet, are you?”

While he couldn’t see it, Kaiba was sure Jonouchi’s eyes were on him. He could feel it. His stomach wouldn’t stop flipping.

“Not particularly.”

“Good.”

He came close, Jonouchi coming to his side as he smiled down at Kaiba, catching his eyes in the lights of the city. Kaiba blinked before looking away, unsure of what was expected of him. Jonouchi came closer, leaning over him before using an elbow to balance himself, setting a chin into the palm of his hand.

“I like looking at your face,” Jonouchi whispered to the dark, “You have the best looking eyes I’ve ever seen. I even thought that as a teenager, when you were still a giant prick to me. I always hated you a little bit just because of that.”

“I don’t have much control over it,” Kaiba whispered back.

“I know,” Jonouchi laughed. “I used to think they were fake, like Anzu’s contacts, but now I know better. You aren’t the kind of man to do something like that. You’re all natural.”

A hand fell on Kaiba’s chest, touching his far pectoral muscle before falling down against his sides, ghosting over his ribs and into the cut of his hip. Kaiba could feel his face heating up from blushing. He hated the feeling. Jonouchi’s hands were rough and grabby, but Kaiba didn’t want to smack them away as much as he knew he should have.

“That’s one thing I like about you.”

Kaiba looked up as Jonouchi said that, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before Jonouchi was on him. He was kissed out of breath, both of Jonouchi’s hands on his shoulders as a leg moved over him. The rational part of Kaiba wanted to pull away and tell Jonouchi to knock it off, take himself to the living room to sleep in peace, but he wouldn’t. There were strong thighs holding against his hips, hands curling into the ends of his hair, and Jonouchi’s lips felt good against Kaiba’s own.

He felt breathless. Kaiba wasn’t doing that much; he didn’t even feel allowed to do that much. Jonouchi rolled his hips into him, nipping aggressively at his lips before letting out a low moan. His body molded perfectly into Kaiba’s own, and the heat between them just continued to grow. The arousal between them just continued until Kaiba finally felt one of Jonouchi’s hands slip down past the band of his underwear, and that’s when he finally pulled away.

“I’m too tired for all of that,” Kaiba lied. “I think we should go to bed.”

Jonouchi pulled away, appearing rejected as he fell back to his side of the bed.

“Alright,” he agreed, still looking at Kaiba’s side, “we can take a rain check, then.”

Kaiba didn’t answer. He just rolled onto his side, forcing his eyes to close as he wished himself to sleep.

Chapter Text

Kaiba woke up long before he decided to move. At first, he was still half-asleep, barely aware of motion beside him. He woke up completely when he felt something unidentified brush against his face. He didn’t know what it was initially, since his brain was still half asleep, but he tiredly rolled onto his back in response. Then he heard quiet footsteps walking away from the bed toward the bathroom.

His consciousness faded in and out for the next several minutes, until the absence of white noise from the shower brought him awake. He squinted his eyes open and looked toward the bathroom door, which was open and allowing light to leak into the dark bedroom. Jonouchi’s form was silhouetted in the doorway. He was wrapped in a towel waist down, and Kaiba could tell his hair was damp by how flat it laid against his head.

He glanced at the bedside clock. It was barely past six. Kaiba was astonished that Jonouchi was awake and functioning this early. There was even a bounce in his step as he walked around the foot of the bed to Kaiba’s side and sat down.

“Good morning,” Kaiba murmured, his voice lower than usual due to just waking. He was used to getting up early for work, but he wasn’t anywhere near energetic before his first (couple) cups of coffee. Jonouchi seemed to be one of those people with an unnatural ability to wake up and be fully functional, regardless of the time.

“I had to get ready to leave because I can’t afford to be too late for work,” started Jonouchi as he scrambled to get his pants on. “I’m sorry if I woke you up before your alarm. Wasn’t trying to.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Kaiba yawned. “I should have been up already.”

Then, in a display of poor judgment on his part, he let another thought slip out his mouth.

“Besides, I prefer to be awake when you leave,” he said. He was just barely awake enough to realize he shouldn’t have, but mercifully too sleepy to care.

“What do you mean by that?” Jonouchi asked questioningly, “I’m not planning on robbing your house on the way out, Kaiba.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Kaiba propped himself up on his elbow, “I just... like being able to say goodbye, I guess.”

“Oh,” laughed Jonouchi awkwardly. “Goodbye, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Kaiba replied, averting his eyes. His mind was blank, and it was frustrating him. Maybe he was running at pre-coffee capacity, but he shouldn’t be doing this bad. He blinked a few times and looked at Jonouchi again. “Will you be free again sometime soon?”

“Not until this weekend,” Jonouchi answered. “I’ll be busy with work and the guys want me to hang out with them more. They’ve begun complaining about my nights being too busy, so I gotta give them some attention or deal with their jealousy shit at work.” Jonouchi sighed before laughing. “I like going out with them, though. We can hang out on Saturday night if you want. I can reserve that for you.”

“Reserve it?” Kaiba repeated under his breath. It was too early in the morning to deal with the flutters. “I understand having to maintain a civil work environment, so do what you have to do. But I won’t lie and say I don’t want us to hang out regularly on Saturdays…”

“I don’t know if I can promise you that much,” chuckled Jonouchi as he shook his head, getting his things ready before stopping at the door. “I can promise you this next one. How about we start with that first?”

“That’s fair,” Kaiba snickered. “I’ll assume we’re meeting at the usual place unless you have plans to broaden my food horizons.”

“There’s a seafood place at the pier downtown that I’d like us to go to. Meet me at the fountain around six. How does that sound?”

“I’ll be there,” Kaiba nodded. He made himself sit up more, propping up his pillow for support. He was done being in bed, but he didn’t want to get up yet. Especially not while Jonouchi was still in the room.

“Okay well, I’m going to get going,” Jonouchi announced with a small smile. He looked like his eyes were caught between looking at Kaiba intently and staring at the carpet out of embarrassment, his face flushed as he rather quickly opened the bedroom door and crossed it, looking back briefly before waving goodbye.

“I’m gonna take my leftovers for breakfast. I’ll see you later.”

“See you,” Kaiba offered in return. He sat motionless as the bedroom door latched shut, and he listened to the sound of Jonouchi’s footsteps rapidly fade, stop in the kitchen, then continue away until the front door opened and shut. After that, there was silence. Kaiba started to sink back into a lying position.

He stayed there, staring at the ceiling in the dark for several minutes. Jonouchi was gone. At least he’d said goodbye this time, even if maybe he hadn’t intended to. He had probably planned to get his stuff together and quietly slip away. If not for whatever had woken Kaiba up--

He felt like every part of him froze, even his thoughts. What did wake him up? He’d felt something on his face. At the time, he couldn’t identify what the feeling was, because he was asleep and disoriented. Looking back on it now, though, he knew better.

Why would Jonouchi kiss him first thing in the morning? While he was asleep? Especially if all he planned to do was wash up and leave? What was that supposed to mean? Was it affection? Kaiba supposed it only could be, because the only other possibilities were even more unlikely and pretty creepy.

But why could Jonouchi kiss him good morning while he was unconscious, and not after he was awake?

Kaiba started pulling on his hair. Jonouchi was confusing. The night before he’d been trying for casual sex, and this morning he was being what Kaiba could only assume was romantic. How exactly was Kaiba supposed to figure out how to interact with him if he wasn’t making any sense? It was possible Kaiba had misinterpreted him the night before. Then again, it was hard to think he had after hearing about how he’d ‘resolved’ the situation with the Korean girl he’d chased for weeks.

So did that mean Jonouchi was after him now? Kaiba had expected to be overjoyed by a thought like that, but he felt conflicted. Jonouchi hadn’t wanted a relationship with that girl. That was the only real reason they weren’t together right now. Would Jonouchi want a relationship with him? Kaiba wasn’t sure. He could think that Jonouchi acted like he would be interested in something serious, and that was a nice thought. Then again, aside from just plainly telling Kaiba he just wanted to chase him, he wasn’t acting all too differently from when he was chasing the Korean girl.

Or, so he thought. He hadn’t actually seen or really heard what Jonouchi did to get her. He helped her with Japanese homework. Kaiba didn’t know if he’d taken her to his favorite restaurants or spent the night in her bed. Or let her spend the night in his bed. Kaiba could definitely feel special about that--he knew Jonouchi didn’t really bring people home. The fact that he’d even been invited there, and consequently invited to sleep there, was a sign that there was something between them. Right?

Kaiba rolled onto his side with a groan. Then he rolled over on his face with a louder groan. It was too early for this shit. Basically any time was too early. He should have been up and getting ready for work before Jonouchi was. Instead, he’d woken up from Jonouchi kissing his forehead and was spending the remainder of his morning in bed (where he didn’t want to be) puzzling it.

The worst part was, he knew the rest of his day was shot because he’d be busy thinking. Not even about what was going on between him and Jonouchi, but about how much he already missed him. Kaiba rubbed his forehead without thinking and sighed. Even with actual work to throw himself into, it was going to be a long wait until Saturday.

-------
The restaurant they’d agreed to meet at was near the pier, well but gently lit by white stringed lights hanging along the roof and windows. It served seafood primarily, and Kaiba was not complaining. He liked seafood, and was more than willing to try unfamiliar preparation and flavor with a food he knew he enjoyed than something totally foreign.

The meal was good, but Kaiba hadn’t really expected it not to be. The restaurant had smelled intriguing when he walked in, and Jonouchi’s tastes so far hadn’t been too casual. Kaiba tried not to think too hard about the dim lighting and small lamps simulating candlelight on the tables. He made small talk with Jonouchi about the past week through the entirety of the meal, though the whole time he had a real question burning in his head.

Once the check was paid and they’d emerged into the open air, Jonouchi suggested they walk along the pier. Kaiba agreed. Part of him said not to, because frankly the whole situation was becoming very romantic, and he wasn’t sure if that was okay. He reasoned that he couldn’t find out if he didn’t go along with it, at least for a while. So he let Jonouchi choose their course as they walked between dimly-lit buildings and cold black water. The light from lamps and windows was shimmering and distorted on the surface to the point that it all appeared to be a gentle glow surrounding them and their path.

They walked quietly for a couple of minutes. Jonouchi looked like he was taking in the scenery. Kaiba was vacillating between speaking and biting his tongue. Perhaps predictably, his desire for an answer got the better of him.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed to get his attention. Jonouchi turned bright hazel eyes on him, looking curious but content. Kaiba had a feeling he was about to ruin that, though. He inhaled deeply. “Last week, before you left my place--why did you kiss me?”

“Why did I kiss you?” Jonouchi repeated, blinking suddenly before giving out a tiny laugh, “what are you talking about? What kiss?”

“Wh--” Kaiba began a bit incredulously. Did Jonouchi actually forget? Kaiba pointed toward his forehead without thinking. “Here. When you got out of bed.”

Somehow, he doubted the clarification would help. Jonouchi looked uncomfortable as it was. Kaiba’s sympathetic side offered the benefit of the doubt--that Jonouchi had been so tired he hadn’t really thought about it. That would be kind of sweet, maybe, but he certainly hadn’t seemed that out of it when he left the shower. Of the two of them, Kaiba had been the lethargic one.

“I know I didn’t hallucinate it. I may have a screw or two loose, but I’m not that bad,” Kaiba tried joking. He was being slightly tongue-in-cheek, but he was still pressing for an answer.

“Uhhh...”

Jonouchi’s face turned funny as he appeared to play with the running thoughts that had to be playing in his head, his eyebrows furrowing before he bit his lip. Looking up at Kaiba briefly, he picked a rock on the ground before throwing his head back in a sigh.

“Oh, I don’t know why I did that,” Jonouchi muttered, “I guess because I wanted to? What kind of question is that? I don’t think about these things when I do them...”

“Oh,” Kaiba replied a bit lamely. Considering all that had been running around in his head for the past week, that was one hell of an anticlimax. “Don’t think I’m complaining. I’ve been woken up in considerably worse ways before.”

Although in this context, even his alarm was extra unpleasant by comparison. But he didn’t want to say anything quite that extreme. It would probably put Jonouchi off, since he didn’t even think about things like that before doing them. That didn’t completely strike Kaiba as being possible, even for someone as... free-spirited as Jonouchi.

“I wasn’t trying to be confrontational,” he stated, “You can relax.”

Not that Jonouchi was even half as worked up as Kaiba had been all week...

“I am relaxed,” Jonouchi snorted. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you even can recall me doing that. It was like five in the morning when I got up. I don’t really know what I’m doing at all until I get a proper shower in. I probably thought you looked lonely in bed or something, if you want an answer.”

“I’m sorry for giving you the wrong impression,” Kaiba answered quietly. He remembered that he had gone through a small and embarrassing withdrawal following Jonouchi’s departure. He was never going to admit that if he could help it, especially since Jonouchi didn’t seem particularly invested. “Well, I appreciate the gesture. It was just surprising.”

“Okay,” laughed Jonouchi, “I’ll try not to surprise you with it next time, then.”

He was chuckling to himself as he walked, Jonouchi’s pace easily keeping up with Kaiba’s much longer gait. Despite being somewhat shorter, Jonouchi didn’t appear tired or winded. Everything about him seemed surprisingly energized. Maybe it was from the light meal and alcohol. Kaiba didn’t know.

“I liked staying at your place,” began Jonouchi after some awkward silence. “You have a great apartment. I’ve never seen a better view of the skyline before. How long have you been living there for?”

“Not long,” Kaiba shrugged, “I was staying in a hotel previously. I didn’t settle down for a while... I have to say, I like the feeling of an apartment better than a hotel room. The suite was nice, too, but... I still felt unsettled trying to live like that day by day. After mulling it over long enough, I decided I’d had more than enough of that. I don’t enjoy feeling like a stranger in my own safe haven.”

Dealing with it at Kaiba Mansion all his life was bad enough. There was no reason to keep putting himself through that now that he had a choice. That, and his knowledge he was staying in America for the foreseeable future overrode his unwillingness to do something that seemed permanent.

“Has anyone ever come over to visit you there, though?” Jonouchi smiled to himself before sighing, putting his hands behind his head, “If I had a place like that, wow. I’d have a party. A real party, you know, like the ones on tv and in the movies. Real fancy with champagne and cocktails. I could just imagine that.”

“If you’re that interested, I’ll get you an invitation to one since I’m forced to attend them constantly,” Kaiba snorted, “I don’t do that kind of thing in my personal space. If I’m going to be ` social, I like to do it with people I enjoy being around. In this country, that’s only you.”

He paused in thought and glanced at Jonouchi.

“We can still dress up and have the champagne, of course,” he suggested with a smirk.

“I don’t know about that,” Jonouchi snorted, “I don’t make for very cultured company. I don’t want to embarrass you around your business buddies.” He paused before shaking his head. “And if I drink, I can’t promise you I wouldn’t get any fancy suit you might give me stained by the end of the night.”

“That really wouldn’t bother me,” Kaiba laughed, “as for cultured company--the upper class are the same as everyone else, except when they make disgraces of themselves, people use it for board room blackmail rather than making fun. You’re better behaved than most of them, anyway. Unless karaoke is involved.”

“My singing skills are amazing,” Jonouchi laughed, “and my dance skills, even better.” He bumped Kaiba with his hip before pausing near a bench at the end of the pier. After peering over his shoulder for a moment, Jonouchi took the far side of the seat, holding his arms before looking at Kaiba expectantly.

Kaiba knew well enough when he was being offered a seat, so he took a place beside Jonouchi. He could tell immediately that the bench was intended mostly for couples--it was on the small side, especially considering neither of them were overly large men. Their legs were just short of touching, but Kaiba could feel Jonouchi’s body heat in contrast with the cool seaside air.

“I won’t disagree about your singing and dancing,” he replied a bit quietly. “Who knows? Maybe other high life socialites will appreciate it, too. You could really liven up the place.”

He smirked at the thought. He wanted to bring Jonouchi to a party for the specific purpose of scandalizing everyone in attendance. But that would be wrong to do to Jonouchi’s pride, and bad for Kaiba’s business prospects. Still, he kept the image in the back of his mind.

“Umm, even I know that’s a very bad idea,” Jonouchi admitted with a laugh. He then went quiet, closing his eyes and allowing the breeze to play off his face before he finally opening them again.

“You wanna know a secret, Kaiba?”

“Yes,” Kaiba looked at Jonouchi more seriously in response to his tone. It made his chest tingle in anticipation, which was a feeling he was more used to than he’d like. He always liked knowing secrets, of course. It put him at an advantage. In this situation, more was potentially promised. He waited in impatient silence for Jonouchi to continue.

“I’m terrified of what people think of me,” Jonouchi said quietly. “It seems like I don’t care, but I do. I care a lot. Judgement scares the crap out of me. I hope if I act wild enough and crazy, people won’t realize just how completely intimidated I am in the inside. I thought faking it till I made it was the only way to get past the discomfort of other people’s prejudice.

“I have no idea how you can be so calm and cool all the time, Kaiba. It must not always be real, but you always manage to fool me along with the rest of the world.”

“I--” Kaiba made a noise, but realized he had no response and silenced himself as he continued to stare at Jonouchi in shock. He tried again. “I’m flattered, but... really, I’m not that collected. It’s easier in business situations, but with personal matters... I don’t really know what to do with myself.”

He stopped for a moment while he tried to collect his thoughts, then shook his head and sighed.

“Right now is a good example,” he admitted, “I would never have expected you to be concerned about other people’s judgment, Jonouchi. You don’t let on, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Kaiba had always considered himself a good judge of whether or not people were bluffing. Normally, he was right in his predictions. Either Jonouchi was very good at ‘faking it’, as he put it, or Kaiba hadn’t been paying enough attention. Or he was biased after being convinced years ago by Jonouchi’s boastful confidence, real or imaginary. Kaiba had never seen much of anything else from him.

“I’m not worried about it,” Jonouchi continued, “I mean, I’ve been doing it for years. It’s worked, for as long as I can remember. Since I was a teenager, in fact. I can recall being terrified so many times, especially while I was first trying to duel, and the only way for me to pretend my way past my fear was to be loud and obnoxious.

“I guess I’m telling you because I’d like to be honest with you, at least,” Jonouchi told Kaiba quietly, “I don’t want to have to pretend around you.”

Kaiba was silent for a few seconds as he tried to read into that statement past the brain-addling sensation of his gut tingling and his face growing warmer against the cold.

“There aren’t many things you can tell me that will make me dislike you,” Kaiba offered as reassurance, “I appreciate honesty. It’s not easy to come by, even among friends.”

As a teenager, he might have argued that the only way to stay friends was through dishonesty, to protect oneself, but that had been a cynical stance. Back then, he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that friends existed at all, and he just wasn’t doing anything to make himself worthy of them. Yet still, Yugi and the gaggle of people that followed him called him their ‘friend’. Even at an age with more clarity, Kaiba sometimes wondered just what on Earth they’d been thinking.

“For the record, you’re not obnoxious. Even if you’re definitely loud,” Kaiba laughed. It sounded nervous to his ears and did nothing to dispel the growing symptoms of being anxious. He made a mental effort to control his breathing.

“I think that’s just naturally how I am,” Jonouchi smiled, “to some degree. But yeah. I just... thought you should know.”

“Thank you,” Kaiba replied for lack of anything better to say. He returned the small smile Jonouchi offered him, but was otherwise unresponsive. He wanted to do and say a lot of things, but he didn’t. He sat still and silent, watching Jonouchi with an inappropriate level of intensity as Jonouchi looked out over the dark ocean before them. Kaiba considered sitting closer to him, but he didn’t. He had no idea what was appropriate in this situation and didn’t trust himself to decide.

Internally, Kaiba uttered an incoherent string of curses mentally as he began to lose his nerve. He had to force his gaze off of Jonouchi because looking at him was too hard as his stomach twisted into knots, ruining his ability to make informed decisions. The last thing he wanted to do after Jonouchi confided in him was freak him out by throwing himself at him.

As Jonouchi continued to watch and listen contentedly, Kaiba sat feeling like he was about to start shaking, thinking that he’d never wanted to touch someone so badly in his life.

But now wasn’t the time.

“It’s getting late,” Kaiba pointed out, though it was only a little past nine. He knew he wasn’t tired, at least... not physically. He probably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for a long time now. “Let me take you back home.”

Jonouchi nodded in agreement, never letting go of his smile.

“Okay.”

TWO MONTHS FORWARD

Kaiba wasn’t completely sure when, but at some point he’d come to terms with his situation. His struggle with Jonouchi’s lack of reciprocation slowly eased away until the twisting feelings and wandering thoughts were no longer an issue in his presence. Kaiba wondered at first if it was because his feelings had changed or gone away, but that proved not to be true. He could only assume he’d adjusted.

It was a good thing, too--he started to see Jonouchi even more than he had already. He didn’t know what sparked it, but Jonouchi started to come to visit his office. The first time had been on a very nasty morning that had Kaiba feeling equally nasty; it was too windy, his secretary was late, the intern was on vacation, everyone was too damn happy, and he didn’t get his coffee on time.

Then Jonouchi showed up, ushered inside without permission by the secretary who’d just arrived. Kaiba could only imagine the look he’d shot at him before realizing who had walked into his office, but Jonouchi hadn’t been much affected by Kaiba’s usual glare. He’d sat comfortably on Kaiba’s desk and offered coffee while sipping his own vaguely coffee-like sugar drink.

After saving Kaiba’s morning that day, Jonouchi had returned repeatedly. If he came in the morning, he brought large cups of coffee, and they would drink together and chat. If he came later on, around noon, he’d bring treats with the coffee like apple fritters and danishes and other evil little sugary things Kaiba had grown addicted to.

Now, it was almost an expectation for Jonouchi to show, and odd if he didn’t. Many times when he wasn’t going to come around, he’d send a message explaining or apologizing, or warn Kaiba the night before. Jonouchi was more communicative than ever, not to mention more invested in a schedule. It had started from nowhere. Kaiba accepted it gladly, but he still burned with curiosity sometimes as to the cause.

He wondered on occasion if Jonouchi was just being friendly or trying to express something deeper, but Kaiba stopped himself from dwelling. He liked what was happening, and that was enough for now. Until he could trust himself to remain stable, he wouldn’t start hyper-analyzing Jonouchi’s actions.

Of course, Jonouchi showing up every day with one or more snacks meant that Kaiba basically belonged to the gym now. It was as familiar as his apartment at this point. He was there every day at the same time to ensure the cheese danishes and other confections wouldn’t ruin his heavily-moderated waistline. He still remembered Jonouchi’s comment about him filling out, too, and figured it couldn’t hurt to maintain that.

After several weeks of the same schedule, Jonouchi came to Kaiba’s office with the regular coffee and sweets, as well as a proposition. Kaiba nibbled his danish with a determined lack of haste as Jonouchi took a seat on his desk, his heels tapping gently and rhythmically against the side. He looked excited, and was obviously in a good mood, which put Kaiba in a good mood. He tried to look normal, although he didn’t think Jonouchi could be fooled by him anymore.

“I got an idea,” Jonouchi started, “You might think it’s kinda dumb, but I wanted to ask you first.”

“I’m listening,” Kaiba stated in a neutral tone, but his interest was piqued--Jonouchi had come up with plenty of ideas before that Kaiba would have considered dumb back then, and wouldn’t have hesitated to say so. Whatever was on Jonouchi’s mind was either really stupid, or daring. Either way, Kaiba couldn’t say he wasn’t intrigued. Hanging out with Jonouchi was always entertaining, one way or another.

“There’s a Japanese cultural event I want to go to in Little Tokyo tonight.” Jonouchi paused before lightly kicking Kaiba with his foot. “I want you to go with me.”

“Oh,” Kaiba blinked, thinking that was an anticlimactic reveal. But not everything needed to be dramatic. “Is that all? I don’t see why not... maybe some things won’t be quite the same, but it’s no different from events in Japan, right?”

“Well,” Jonouchi hesitated, “Americans have funny stereotypes about Japanese people,” Jonouchi started, “but it’s not unlike our funny stereotypes of them. It should be fun, at least. The last time I went, they had all sorts of food vendors from back home and I thought you might like that. It’ll be something to do instead of just drinking at the bar all night.”

“This time we’ll just drink half the night?” Kaiba raised an eyebrow. “But I see your point. If you think it’ll be a good time, then I’m willing to try it.”

Kaiba was extremely skeptical now, mainly because of how uncomfortably Jonouchi talked about the festival and the mention of “funny stereotypes”. Still, he could always leave if it was too awful, and it was in Little Tokyo, so the bar would be near enough to wash away bad memories.

“Meet me at the garage after work,” Jonouchi instructed. “I’ll be ready when I get off. I just got to take a shower, and then I’ll be done. Sounds good?”

“Yes,” Kaiba agreed with a small nod, “I’ll be there.”

The rest of the day went by fast. Once Jonouchi left back to work once his lunch break was over, Kaiba started charging through the rest of his day. He only had one afternoon meeting, made somewhat tolerable by the fact that Jonouchi had brought in fresh coffee for Kaiba to drink. He sat at the head of the table, sipping away until it had ended, and Kaiba felt surprisingly refreshed.

It was odd to him. Jonouchi always came in looking a little dirty, smelling like the garage where he worked. He’d always wore some kind of jacket to hide his shirt and probably changed his pants out of self-consciousness, but Kaiba didn’t really care. None of his staff were gutsy enough to ask about him, and most had come up with their own conclusions. Many knew who Jonouchi was; they just assumed they were close friends because of their careers in Duel Monsters. Seemed like a harmless lie, so Kaiba went along with it.

They probably had no idea that Jonouchi worked on cars for a living. Jonouchi won a lot of cash prizes, but they didn’t play enough to make a living wage at it. Not yet, at least. Kaiba quietly maintained the stubborn opinion that Jonouchi would become a formidable champion, and he had perfectly good reasons to do so. Reasons outside of his very intimate ones.

The work day passed blessedly quickly. Kaiba stopped at the gym after leaving work, knowing that Jonouchi wouldn’t be finishing his shift for a while, and after that he went home to find clothes appropriate for a normal night out. He managed to construct something that was casual and comfortable, and that would clean easily, but was still stylish enough for him to feel like he wasn’t walking around in bags.

He sent Jonouchi a text to let him know he was on his way, then drove to the garage. Jonouchi was ready to leave, as promised. Kaiba couldn’t help noticing that he looked good in what he was wearing, but he was past the point of feeling bad about that kind of thing anymore. He followed Jonouchi’s directions to get to the event, and along the way they chatted about their days and Jonouchi’s expectations for the festival. They were predictably food-centric, but that was to be expected.

When they stepped into the pleasantly cool evening air at the parking lot near the event, and started walking toward the sounds of crowds and drums together, Kaiba was suddenly overcome with something between a flutter and a chill as he realized how very like a date this was. He tried to stop himself from thinking it, but he couldn’t shake it. Had he been asked on a date without realizing it? Was that why Jonouchi had been so nervous and kicked at him like he often did when he was embarrassed?

Kaiba wasn’t sure it was a line of questioning he should pursue. At the moment, strange as it was, he was remarkably happy just to think that they were on something like a date, even if it was unspoken and unconfirmed.

Jonouchi was in the middle of snickering at something Kaiba had said when they crossed the boundary of tarp tents and found the street that had been blocked off for the event. There were flags tied to each lamppost along the drive, but Kaiba wasn’t close enough yet to make out what they said. He assumed it was the name of the event.

His senses were immediately conflicted. He noticed and was pleased by the smell of frying yakitori and takoyaki, taro and sesame oil. He saw booths selling imported tapioca pearl drinks, and a professional calligrapher on the corner where two roads of the festival split.

But on the other hand, he saw booths selling cheap cotton kimono, parasols that looked made in China, countless trinkets worth five dollars being sold for thirty--and that was within a single booth. He saw more things the further his vision roamed; dishes that he was fairly sure were made in a factory, jewelry made at home by people who were nowhere near Japanese, and a vendor for a local comic store.

He didn’t realize he was scowling until Jonouchi nudged him. Well, not so much ‘nudged’--he slammed his full body into Kaiba’s side to snap him out of it.

“This is weird,” Kaiba stated the obvious, looking around uncomfortably as he noted it to Jonouchi in their native tongue, “What is even going on here?”

“Umm,” Jonouchi laughed out loud in response, “I told you it would be. It’s not that accurate, but you know, when I’m drunk and hungry, I don’t really care. I guess I should have warned you better. I thought you’d at least enjoy some food from home, you know? You fuss so much about the options here, Kaiba.”

“Hmph,” Kaiba grunted. He didn’t have a comeback, and didn’t want to ruin the evening by bitching eternally, so he let Jonouchi lead him to the first food that caught his eye. Kaiba tried not to go for junk food much, but it was a special occasion, and with Japanese junk food unavailable most of the time, it seemed like he should at least try it.

Jonouchi was well aware that he was in the better mood of the two of them, and waited in line to order yakisoba for them, and in exchange Kaiba provided the money for it. It was a bit overpriced, but Kaiba had been in business long enough to know there was no point complaining about the cost of rare goods and services.

He happily took his yakisoba and started eating it out of the take-out box as they walked to find a place to sit. Jonouchi had ordered takoyaki as well, so his hands were full and he couldn’t eat. He didn’t look too pleased with that turn of events. Kaiba shot him a devious look, and Jonouchi stuck his tongue out at him.

They managed to follow the current of moving people to an acceptable knoll of grass. Jonouchi sat down first, looking forward to emptying one hand and digging into his food. Kaiba took the opportunity to start nabbing takoyaki. The first one he ate was good, and remarkably devoid of excess grease, so he took another. Jonouchi got protective and moved the boat out of his reach.

“There are only four here, you know,” he noted, and Kaiba laughed at the frown that was forming on his face.

“All right, fine. You waited in line for them so I’ll at least let you eat half.”

He considered getting more, but he could see from their slightly elevated sitting position that the lines were only getting longer. It was a miracle they’d gotten in just before things got really backed up.

He ate his yakisoba quietly while Jonouchi continued scarfing. They had chosen a spot at the edge of the event’s radius, beside a stage that was currently abandoned. The lights were on, though, and people were starting to gather. He assumed they knew something he didn’t. He felt conflicted when he noticed families with excited children dressed in the knockoff kimono and yukata that had been for sale. But he could never be truly scornful in the face of happy kids, so he brushed it from his mind.

Kaiba was shaken from his observations when Jonouchi started nudging him, mumbling through the mouthful of food he was working through. When Kaiba looked at him, he gestured toward the stage with his chopsticks. It looked like a show was starting.

“I don’t know,” Jonouchi answered as he tried to quickly swallow his food, “I didn’t bother looking at the events. It’s probably some music performance.”

“I guessed as much from the chu-daiko they’re rolling in,” Kaiba replied a bit dryly. “It looks like traditional music. It seems like this place got a few things right so far.”

“I didn’t think you cared much about music,” snorted Jonouchi.

He grinned as he topped off his yakisoba. Jonouchi seemed happily amused. While Kaiba didn’t care for the festival nearly as much, he curbed himself from letting loose all his disappointments. The food at least hadn’t been a disappointment. On the way to the grass, he saw a tent for rolled crepes, and Kaiba knew he was going to get one. Jonouchi would probably enjoy that, too.

He wasn’t a fan of crepes. He didn’t dislike them, but they weren’t something he’d usually think about eating. The only reason he wanted to get one was because he saw the booth, and he was indulging nostalgia. It was a dangerous thing to do, as he didn’t know how it would affect his mood, but something compelled him.

He was both blessed and cursed with an outstanding memory, but even without it, he didn’t think he would ever have forgotten his first visit to a festival--an actual matsuri back home. He remembered his parents standing at either side of him, and knew he must have been well into his fifth year of life, because his mother had been very pregnant.

He remembered the smells and sounds more than the sights--he’d been small, and the streets had been crowded. He did recall his father holding him up for an extended period of time so he could play games, like fishing for goldfish and taking them home. They were activities intended for children who could stand higher than the table, but he vaguely remembered insisting.

The memories made him disgruntled with the mock-up festival. He recalled brightly-colored cloth covering booths, lanterns dangling from the overhanging fabric, and countless strings of paper lights hanging above the street. There had been crepes, yes, but more prevalent were competing booths selling chocolate-dipped bananas on sticks. He remembered star-shaped candy that was probably pure sugar, and being offered special occasion tea by old women in kimono.

There had been a temple nearby, of course, and his family had stopped there to feed the temple box with coin and make wishes. He realized it must have been for new year--he clearly recalled being given a wooden placard to tie to the wall after his mother helped him write a message, first in Japanese and then English.

Kaiba vaguely recalled all of these things. He hadn’t done much of it as he got older, although he was sure to bring Mokuba to one once he was old enough. It was a treat, and regrettably, Kaiba now wished he would have done it more now that the chance had disappeared for them both.

Jonouchi got up from the grass, giving Kaiba a warm smile before gesturing towards the crepe stand.

“Don’t get up, save our spot,” he directed, “I’m gonna get us dessert. Do you have a particular topping that you like?”

“I’ll take chocolate,” Kaiba nodded. It wasn’t because chocolate was his favorite topping ever, exactly. It was just the one he assumed was hardest to mess up.

“I’m getting strawberry!”

“I’m happy for you,” Kaiba stated, mainly to himself. Jonouchi was already walking away, and he hadn’t said it very loudly. He sat waiting for Jonouchi to return for what felt like ages. By himself, he started to find the mock festival became very grating. He thought he caught sight of someone wearing a real kimono, which got his interest, but they disappeared. Their place in his range of vision was taken by someone dressed as what he assumed was an anime character.

He did a double-take. That must be wrong. Maybe it was just someone with a weird hairdo, he thought. Surely, that was it.

But no. He saw them again, weaving through the crowd, and recognized their full outfit from posters he’d seen in DVD shops back home. He stared after the stranger, trying to wrap his mind around their existence and scrambling for an explanation. He could find none. Was this what an otaku looked like in America? Standing out like a sore thumb in a crowd for the sake of eccentricity?

By the time Jonouchi returned, Kaiba was simmering and trying not to show it. He didn’t want to ruin Jonouchi’s mood with a bad attitude, but it was difficult to control. How was he supposed to react? This whole charade was already more than half a joke, and now there were anime nerds wandering around at what was supposed to be a festival of Japanese origins. He was offended. It was like watching his heritage get desecrated real-time.

“Thanks,” he muttered as he took his crepe from Jonouchi. He bit into it a little aggressively as Jonouchi shot him a confused look. Kaiba’s brows stopped furrowing briefly after he tasted the food, because it actually wasn’t bad. He said as much, which alleviated the aggravation gathering on Jonouchi’s face, but still left confusion behind.

“Yeah, I saw them too,” Jonouchi noted, snickering a little bit, “I just try to pretend like they aren’t around.”

“They?” Kaiba repeated, frowning. “I only saw one. Don’t tell me there are more of those.”

“Oh yeah,” laughed Jonouchi. “They travel in packs.”

Kaiba sat in quiet disturbance for a while after that, slowly eating through his dessert and watching the crowd around them carefully. He wasn’t sure why--seeing another otaku would only upset him. He supposed he wanted to see them before they saw him, which was a reflex he’d formed in Japan. He was nowhere near pleased about doing it again.

“I don’t think Americans understand that Japanese culture isn’t like what they see in their silly comic books,” commented Jonouchi as he rolled his eyes. “I know a few guys from the gym who like that stuff. One used to talk about it all the time and wanted us to go to conventions with him... but I think he got the idea eventually that it wasn’t cool when we kept trying to change the subject.

“I just don’t think they get it.”

“That’s a forgiving way of looking at it,” Kaiba frowned, “But I guess it’s the same thing with the America fandom in Japan. It’s bugging me, but I’ll try not to get snappy with anyone.”

“You don’t have to talk to anyone,” teased Jonouchi. “Just keep looking pretty and eating your food.”

“The only person allowed to approach me because I’m pretty is already here,” Kaiba retorted in a mutter. He realized he was encouraging the flirtatiousness he’d asked Jonouchi to tone down, but found himself with the same issue Jonouchi had--he couldn’t completely help it. It was too easy to get wrapped up in him.

Jonouchi had apparently missed the comment, however. He was distracted by food, eating while periodically lifting up his head to smile. He was appearing to try and eat neatly, but the whipped cream managed to smear across his nose and cheek, causing Jonouchi to swear out loud.

“Fuck,” he swore before Jonouchi could stop himself, “how are you managing to eat this thing so neatly?”

“Years of training,” Kaiba replied, but then he himself got whip cream on his cheek because he was smiling while taking a bite. He mumbled in disdain and wiped his face with his napkin. “Evidently I still need practice.”

“Evidently,” Jonouchi snickered. “You know, I used to take my sister out a lot as a kid. I’d borrow some money from my dad and get her those chocolate bananas at the festivals. People would always look at us a little strangely,” shrugged Jonouchi as he crossed his legs and placed his chin in the palm of his hand, “but we always had the best of times together.

“One time I even caught a goldfish and our mother let Shizuka keep it.”

“Really? I wonder how you’d treated a pet,” Kaiba mused. He’d caught a goldfish, but being five at the time, he’d only been responsible for being guided to feed the fish every day. His parents had done the rest. He had a feeling Jonouchi had been older, but he seemed like the type who would have been better off with a pet dog than fish.

“I really wanted an Akita,” remarked Jonouchi with a faraway look, “but my mother would never agree to it. Especially not after Shizuka got sick. Then there was just no way. My sister wanted a cat, and so they got her two more fancy goldfish before finally caving into getting her a kitten...”

Jonouchi just shook his head before sighing, putting a hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t old enough to appreciate the company of a cat yet.”

“I see,” Kaiba muttered after clearing his throat. “It seems you and Mio get along very well, though. She’s your biggest fan.”

“That’s because I feed her,” Jonouchi laughed. “She’s also young. Mio doesn’t mind a little rough housing, and I’m not home often anyways, so when I do get back there, she’s actually glad to see me. I think she’s only gotten upset with me once since I’ve had her.”

“What about?” asked Kaiba as he finished his crepe. “You’re not exactly an upsetting person, and a cat should be happy with food and a warm place to curl up at night…”

Actually, that sounded pretty good to him, if Jonouchi was the warm place on offer. He already had the food. He closed his eyes to forced the thought and accompanying images from his mind; he may have been pretending he was on a date, but he knew better than to try to end it by going back to his place to cuddle.

“You used to think I was an upsetting person,” Jonouchi laughed loudly before rolling his eyes. “I was running late and forgot to feed her once. I didn’t come home that night until really late, so she tore up my kitchen in revenge and wouldn’t let me touch her for three days after. Never made that mistake again.”

“I’m sure,” Kaiba chuckled, “I’m not sure what’s more extreme--her scorn, or your forgetfulness.”

It was an honest enough mistake. Then again, Kaiba couldn’t imagine ever forgetting to feed an animal like a cat or dog that was around all the time. Maybe something out of sight, like a rodent or reptile.

“I leave out dry food, but she just ignores it,” Jonouchi muttered irritably. “I have to feed her wet out of a can at least once a day or else she’ll murder me...”

“It sounds like you’re getting good practice for raising a teenage daughter,” Kaiba resisted laughing openly. “The logic is certainly similar.”

“Shizuka was never so difficult...”

“Because she shares your sunny temperament, I assume,” Kaiba replied. He realized after speaking that he didn’t know if he was being sarcastic or not. He supposed it didn’t matter either way. Jonouchi wouldn’t take it seriously if he’d said it in the most sincere tone he could muster.

“Maybe,” Jonouchi intoned with a snort, “I don’t know.”

Finishing his crepe, Jonouchi stretched out on the grass, cracking his joints. The musicians on stage were beginning to play, and Jonouchi hummed along briefly before getting back up.

“It’s kinda late,” he said, looking down at Kaiba, “and the nerds are gathering. You wanna head back home?”

“Sure,” Kaiba agreed, “I think we’ve seen all there is to see here.”

All he wanted to see, anyhow, and he still had the misfortune of spying multiple ‘herds’ of people who looked like they thought they were at a convention. He tripped over an anthro in the crowd. He thought maybe it was a dragon or something, but it was electric blue and furry. He started moving more hastily despite the congested street.

They had nearly left the block designated for the event when he heard his name being called. Or, more accurately, squealed. What made him turn around wasn’t the sound as much as the address. Kaiba-sama, but in an inappropriate accent. He realized he’d fallen into a trap when he was surrounded by otaku faster than he could turn.

“Aaaa Kaiba-sama!” A girl to his left shrieked again, jumping up and down. What the hell was she even wearing? He could ask the same for everyone around her, though. He could at least recognize Inu Yasha, even if it was a bad likeness. He thought the girl was supposed to be one of the Sailor Senshi. Maybe. There were two Narutos, one at either side of him, and both were equally over-excited.

Kaiba observed the crowd of incoherently chattering college freshman, his eyes scrutinizing everything from the cheap yukata at the center of them to the knockoff anime costumes with extreme prejudice.

“Kaiba-sama!” A different person shouted at him rather than shrieking. It wasn’t better. “Will you sign this for me? You’re always so sugoii in your duels! And Blue-Eyes looks so kawaii!”

If the word no could be channeled into an expression, Kaiba hoped he was doing it. Perhaps his eyes were too bright and piercing to properly maintain a silent, judgmental staredown without actively repelling people, but he didn’t care. He did it anyway.

“I’m sorry guys, but I think you might be confused,” cut in Jonouchi in rushed English as he nervously shook his hands back and forth in apology, “he’s not actually-”

“Jonouchi Katsuya?” came a blessedly quieter voice, not-so-blessedly from the yukata. Kaiba openly glared at the boy in glasses and--gods help him--wooden clogs who moved forward. Kaiba didn’t move out of the way, so he had to peer around his frame to see Jonouchi.

“It is! You’re Jonouchi-kun! You just made regional champion recently, right?”

Kaiba could see panic in Jonouchi’s eyes. He’d never lie to a fan. Not after being caught. This couldn’t actually be happening to them…

“You’ll have to wait for the next press conference if you’d like to speak with us about Duel Monsters,” Kaiba stated flatly as he impulsively grabbed Jonouchi’s wrist and started pushing his way through the group. “We’re preoccupied with other business today. Goodbye.”

He forced his way through what little crowd was left, pulling Jonouchi along, until they were on the sidewalk going toward the parking lot. It wasn’t until he heard Jonouchi clearing his throat that Kaiba realized he was still dragging him along briskly, though at some point he had taken his hand instead of his arm. He quickly released and flicked his bangs back with a huff. It was a nervous tick he’d mostly kicked, but he’d just embarrassed himself pretty horribly. He’d forgive it this time.

“Thanks,” Jonouchi said, stretching out his hand at his side before dropping it. “I didn’t even know what to say to them at that point.”

“I have more experience snubbing people like that than anyone needs,” Kaiba grumbled. “I’m sure you remember that not dealing with otaku was a reason why I like it here.”

“Yeah, I know,” laughed Jonouchi in agreeance, “that’s why I usually come to these things drunk. It’s more fun that way. And then they won’t try talking to you, either.”

It helped too that Jonouchi went with a large group of rowdy American males, not a Japanese celebrity usually.

“It’s typically not that bad, though,” Jonouchi swore before snorting.

“If it’s a repeated event, it’ll probably get bigger every year,” Kaiba sighed disdainfully. “It wasn’t all bad. The food was good, and the show was authentic enough. I was having a better time than I expected to until that nerd herd showed up.”

“I’m glad you at least liked that much.” Jonouchi jumped into the car once Kaiba unlocked it. “Also, he added a bit humorously, “I gotta feed my cat. You mind heading over there?”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Kaiba replied, giving Jonouchi a strange look. Where else would he have been going? He was aware that Jonouchi meant his place when he said “go home”. And logically, Kaiba should take Jonouchi home before going to his apartment.

Then again, with the evidence before him, he was starting to think Jonouchi was extending an invitation…

He decided he’d find out when they got there and drove them back to the garage. Kaiba waited for Jonouchi to get out of the car, and when no parting words were given, he assumed he was supposed to step out, too. He locked the door behind him as he followed Jonouchi up the stairs to his flat.

Mio was loudly persistent about getting her dinner, as usual, and Kaiba stayed out of the way while Jonouchi fed her. He decided to make himself comfortable, since Jonouchi likely invited him up to do more than say goodnight and send him on his way. Kaiba sat on the couch, turning to look over the back and peer into the kitchen when he heard Jonouchi cooing.

He was cradling Mio in his arms, making baby noises at her while he tickled her white underbelly. She made murmuring sounds back at him, chattering in play as her tail twitched and thumped against him. She fought back against his tickling with soft-pawed batting against his cheeks and nose. Jonouchi grunted and jerked back momentarily when Mio clumsily socked him in the eye. Kaiba released a snort before he could stop himself, but turned around and tried to look innocent while he contained his laughter.

“Stop watching me and be useful,” barked Jonouchi, “I’m tired. Make the bed.”

The cat jumped out of his arms at that, landing on the ground before falling over to rub her back against the floor before withering in place. Jonouchi picked up the food dish, throwing it in the dishwasher before disappearing into the bathroom. Kaiba did as he was less-than-graciously asked and got the bed ready.

He probably should have declined staying the night, but instead he was feeling deeply satisfied with the fact that the evening was turning out just as he had secretly wanted it to. He might have preferred his place at this point, but the cat did need to be fed.

Kaiba stripped down to his boxer-briefs and undershirt and sat on the bed. He had barely touched the mattress when Mio hopped up next to him with obvious expectations. He snorted and ran his hand over her plush head and back. She was purring loudly. For an animal that got so hung-up on her demands, she certainly moved on quickly. Kaiba wondered what it must be like to have cake and eat it too.

He turned when he heard Jonouchi emerge from the bathroom. Mio jumped to the floor and trotted loudly across the wood to Jonouchi’s heel and followed him as he walked to the bed. Jonouchi gave her a brief head-scratching, but after that he tumbled into bed with a sigh. Kaiba lay down beside him as he settled into whatever position he apparently required for comfort.

“I think I had a pretty good day,” announced Jonouchi smugy, “even if we were interrupted towards the end of the night. I’m glad you came out with me.”

“Yeah,” Kaiba agreed, “I’m glad I went.”

“Hey, I know it’s hard adjusting. But I hope you realize, Kaiba, that you really could have anything you want here. It might not be exactly like home, but this place has a lot of potential.” Jonouchi paused before shrugging his shoulders nervously, “I don’t know, I just wouldn’t like the idea of you giving up this opportunity you have here because of a few crazy fans.”

“I have my complaints, yes,” Kaiba admitted, “but it’s going to take a lot more than misbehaved fans to make me give up what I have here.”

“Okay, good.”

Jonouchi was leaning over him, and Kaiba just finally noticed that. He looked as if he was unsure about what to do next. His eyes kind of jumped briefly towards the window, glancing at the perching cat, before he settled back down on Kaiba. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. The street lights that shone in the room seemed to bounce off Jonouchi’s fair skin.

Kaiba stared deliberately into Jonouchi’s eyes as he slid his fingers over his wrist, his forearm, upper arm, and shoulder, watching him for a response as he went. Jonouchi didn’t move or speak; he hardly breathed. But his skin shuddered. His breath caught when Kaiba’s hand reached his neck, fingers toying with locks of hair that had spilled over it.

“I thought you didn’t want to be like this with me,” mumbled Jonouchi. “Did you change your mind?”

“I do want to be like this with you,” Kaiba stated with authority, though his voice was quiet. He hated that the darkness itself seemed to be listening at times like this. “I always want to. I just also want--”

What? For Jonouchi to love him? Or, maybe more accurately, for Jonouchi to admit to loving him. But that was neither here, nor there. He wanted Jonouchi, and he wanted him to himself. But he couldn’t have both, and being the type of man he was, that meant he wanted neither.

He couldn’t say that, though. Aside from the fact that it would kill the mood, it also wouldn’t be treading over anything they hadn’t already.

“--everything,” he finished. That was the bottom line, really. He wanted everything, at least as far as Jonouchi was concerned. Everything just wasn’t on offer.

“I don’t understand,” Jonouchi frowned. “Everything?”

“Yes, everything,” Kaiba reiterated, finally losing patience with the questioning. He pulled Jonouchi down to him, meeting his lips without hesitation. The contact felt so familiar, even though he’d only experienced it a handful of times before. He felt overwhelmed for several frantic seconds as they kissed. So many things raced through his mind before finally it went silent and let him have his way.

Jonouchi seemed hesitant at first, but finally lay down on top of Kaiba, fingers gently tousling his hair much as Kaiba’s were tangling into his. Kaiba’s free hand was on Jonouchi’s bare back, reveling in every inch of his form, memorizing his smooth skin and the shape of his muscles. He only hesitated when his fingers reached the base of Jonouchi’s spine and ran into a waistband. Jonouchi didn’t make any noises or gestures of complaint, and Kaiba decided that he had as much right as the average stranger to want to touch Jonouchi’s ass.

So he did. For some reason Jonouchi was at least slightly surprised, because he broke lip contact to gasp. Kaiba didn’t let him go long enough to express his indignation. He nibbled on Jonouchi’s lower lip as his hand wandered back up the curve of his spine. Then he felt the slightest bit guilty for being rude and embraced him in earnest. He broke their kiss and planted brief pecks on Jonouchi’s cheeks, then lay still and silent, breathing heavily.

“What are we going to do?” Jonouchi was out of breath, laying on top of Kaiba’s chest. Both of their bodies had joined to the same rhythm, catching Kaiba off guard. He rested his hands on Jonouchi’s back, rubbing his moist skin wearily. “We’re going around in circles.”

“I know,” Kaiba replied, strangely relieved by the shared sentiment. “I need time to fix this.”

“Fix this?” replied Jonouchi incredulously. “How?”

“Just trust me. I will.”

Kaiba spoke with confidence. He didn’t think it was going to be easy. But for the first time since he’d realized what he had with Jonouchi, he was working with certainties. The first time realizing that, gloriously, Jonouchi did want him. With any negativity surrounding that out of the way, he was free to deal with the real, remaining problem.

Which was him. He hated admitting that, even to himself, regardless of the situation. But it was true. He wanted Jonouchi to commit to him, but he also understood that he had yet to provide something to commit to. Even at this moment, he couldn’t make himself just tell Jonouchi that he wanted a relationship, and that was proof enough that it was up to him to resolve the problem.

He turned his attention back to Jonouchi, who seemed to be waiting for him to return from his thoughts. Kaiba decided not to bother explaining. Not yet, anyway.

“I don’t want to let you go,” he admitted quietly, “I hope you don’t mind using me as a pillow.”

“I think I’ll find some way to cope with it.”

Jonouchi settled against him, his head underneath Kaiba’s chin. His breathing slowed and Kaiba could feel his consciousness slipping. He felt so tired, and allowing himself to just sink into the depths of the futon, he tried not to think much about anything as he listened to Jonouchi’s breathing before finally passing out asleep.

Chapter Text

Over the next week, Kaiba still saw Jonouchi during the day for their coffee ritual, but neither of them made or mentioned plans to meet up besides that. As a result, Kaiba decided to do something spontaneous. When Friday evening came around, he went to the gym, showered, changed, and drove to Jonouchi’s place at a time that he assumed he’d be home.

He had noticed, and was sure Jonouchi noticed, that the time they’d spent together had felt different. Their irresolution from their last sleepover was hanging over them like a particularly bothersome cloud. But Jonouchi understandably didn’t address it, and Kaiba hadn’t been ready to. He’d come close many times, and before and after the opportunity to do so he thought he should. But he didn’t know what to say. Or, he didn’t want to say it.

He’d finally wrapped his head around the fact that the conversation needed to happen, and soon. Now seemed like soon enough. He drove to Jonouchi’s apartment with the full intention of taking a deep breath and having the discussion he’d been neglecting for months, and remarkably he only got more fired up to do so the closer he got. He was confident that he wouldn’t change his mind last-minute this time, and something about that put him in the nearly invincible mood he normally got from competing against people he knew would lose to him.

He knocked on the front door to be polite, even though he still had the spare key. After a few minutes, Jonouchi opened the door, looking shocked. His hair was slightly damp, and he was dressed only in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. His feet were bare.

“Jonouchi--” Kaiba began before a greeting could be uttered, but he froze when his eyes wandered to the living room, following a flash of color in his peripherals. His jaw nearly dropped when he saw Yugi sitting on Jonouchi’s living room couch, leaning so he could see who was at the door. His eyes brightened when they locked gazes, but Kaiba was not nearly so pleased.

All his plans were out the window. Yugi didn’t know it, but the fact that he was in the apartment eating take-out had completely undermined Kaiba’s chance at accomplishing something today.

“I...see you have company,” he noted quietly, “I should have called.”

“No, it’s not a big deal,” brightened Jonouchi, “You can come in. We were just catching up. Yugi decided to surprise me, I didn’t know he was coming so soon. I’m sorry, Kaiba, I should have said something.”

He moved out of the way, gesturing Kaiba to walk in before closing and locking the door. Mio came trotting over excitedly, rubbing all over Kaiba’s legs before pawing at him and crying to be picked up.

“Hey Kaiba,” Yugi greeted, “how have you been?”

“Not bad,” Kaiba replied noncommittally. He obliged Mio and picked her up, knowing his shirt would be covered in cat, but her mewling compelled him. He wasn’t used to animals throwing themselves at him. It was a much better experience than when humans were doing it, though.

Well. He didn’t and wouldn’t mind Jonouchi throwing himself at him…

“What brings you back to America?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

“Well,” Yugi started, “I was planning on visiting Jonouchi, but things had gotten a little crazy at home with my grandpa. But he’s been pretty good lately and my mother had things under control, so I decided to make a spontaneous trip over.

“Jonouchi and I had always planned a cross-country trip through the Californian coastline. We were discussing making the trip soon.”

“We’d never really made solid plans before,” Jonouchi added, “because things have been so busy between us both.”

“Mm, I see,” Kaiba responded with wariness he masked with interest.

“Kaiba, if you’d like,” Yugi began, “You could join us. I’d like that very much.”

Jonouchi folded his arms, looking around slightly anxiously as Kaiba noticed his face coloring just slightly. He swallowed before finally looking up, “Yeah, I’d like that, too. Would you join us, maybe?”

His eyes shone, appearing hopeful. Kaiba could feel his stomach flop noticeably before he looked away. The last person he wanted to give himself away to was Yugi, not least because he would definitely open his mouth to say something if he noticed. Kaiba wasn’t looking for consolation about his situation.

He sat rhythmically stroking the cat in his lap as he pondered. The offer was oddly tempting. He wasn’t itching for time away, or for a road trip necessarily. The enticement was time with Jonouchi more than anything--with luck, the proximity would give him an opportune environment to have the talk they needed to have.

The downside was that Yugi would be present. Yugi himself wasn’t a downside, but his being there would change the dynamic. It could also limit the chances Kaiba would have to talk to Jonouchi.

And if that talk went badly, Yugi was the last person Kaiba wanted around for it. Especially if the three of them were trapped in a car together.

He sat for several seconds juggling possibilities with what he assumed was a blank expression on his face. It was a difficult choice to make. The bottom line was, things could go perfectly, or horribly, and there wasn’t much chance of an in between. He wasn’t a gambler to begin with, and fifty-fifty was his worst ratio to bet on.

“It’s...not really my type of thing,” he replied tactfully, only glancing at Yugi before his eyes settled on Jonouchi. He was standing, leaning on one hip, his arms crossed. He blinked as if in surprise, but that quickly faded into the slightest pout when he spoke.

“I know it isn’t,” Jonouchi conceded, “but that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun.”

He stopped in a rare moment of hesitation before continuing.

“And I want you to come with me.”

Kaiba couldn’t stop his face from going slack in surprise, even if for a split second. He hoped Yugi hadn’t noticed. Then again, Yugi had seen worse behavior from him. Kaiba averted his gaze to the cat, trying to look neutral, but at this point he doubted Jonouchi could be fooled.

“If you insist,” he agreed in a nonchalant tone, though his chest was fluttery and sending heat to his face. “I guess I’ll go.”

Jonouchi smiled. Yugi just nodded in approval. He seemed so pleased by the answer. Kaiba avoided eye contact, in case he couldn’t stop himself from blushing. He could feel himself becoming embarrassed.

“Are you hungry at all?” Jonouchi suddenly offered, completely changing the topic. “I got a bunch of takeout thinking I’d just save shit for later because I don’t really cook. I got General Tso’s chicken, beef and broccoli, and some pork lo mein if you want something to eat. And theres plenty of rice.”

“I didn’t eat all that much,” added Yugi with a small smile.

“I suppose I may as well have something while I’m here,” Kaiba muttered, looking from one to the other. He was mildly surprised by how hard they seemed to be trying to get him to eat. “I haven’t had anything solid since you--”

He cut himself off, unsure whether or not he wanted to raise the topic of Jonouchi’s lunchtime visits in front of Yugi. It had reached the point that Kaiba no longer had the interns bring him lunch. He was dependent upon Jonouchi for it.

“--Since lunchtime,” he corrected, averting his gaze from Jonouchi again. He lifted Mio, who went limp in an attempt to keep her seat, and placed her on the ground before standing. He brushed off his pants as he went to find the leftover takeout. He was hopeful that conversation between Jonouchi and Yugi would pick up in his absence, and he would be saved from the center of attention.

He was proven right when Jonouchi immediately jumped back into talking about everything he was excited about at the moment--his big win in the Championship, America, food (of course), and other random tidbits about his life that Kaiba was already aware of. It made him feel almost hideously smug that he knew more about Jonouchi than Yugi did, but that feeling dissipated as he started thinking about the road trip.

It was so possible for the whole thing to go up in flames. He couldn’t even imagine how he’d recover if something happened and Jonouchi got enraged with him while Yugi was around. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle close quarters with the two of them at once. He wasn’t sure about anything regarding the idea, honestly.

But Jonouchi had said he wanted him to go. That had to mean something. It hadn’t been a suggestion or coercion--just faith that Kaiba would be swayed by Jonouchi’s desire for his company. And he’d been right, of course. Kaiba would have declined if not for that bit of incentive. The fact that Jonouchi had even tried it told him that the possibility of success was there. It might even be higher than fifty-fifty.

He could console himself with that. After all, fifty-one was his lucky number, and anything above that could be augmented with willpower.

He looked over the box of food he was eating from and saw that Jonouchi’s gaze had wandered to him. When they locked eyes, he smiled ever so slightly. Just enough that his hazel eyes sparkled. Kaiba wondered if he even knew he was doing it. Yugi definitely noticed--he stopped speaking for a moment, as if curious, but continued as if nothing had happened. Jonouchi was completely unaware of the pause.

Kaiba didn’t have any experience to speak of, but he’d been slapped in the face with enough cheesy movie trailers, posters, and general cliches to know what a relationship looked like. He’d also had the fortune to be raised by two parents who loved each other (for a short while, at least), and he had been an observant child. He knew how people behaved when they were together with someone they felt deeply about.

It had struck him recently, but now in particular, that he and Jonouchi had come to some unspoken, mutual decision to act like they were in a relationship. The domesticity wasn’t there, obviously, but that wasn’t a requirement. It was the feeling of being a priority to someone else. The fact that he could show up at Jonouchi’s home unannounced and intrude on his time with his best friend, yet still be warmly welcomed. Or their daily ritual of having coffee together, even though it was forcing Kaiba to the gym every afternoon and Jonouchi didn’t even like coffee that much.

Thinking back on it, he couldn’t recall any chunks of spare time he’d spent alone recently. If he got home in the early afternoon, he usually did more work that needed his attention. If there was no work that needed attention, he called Jonouchi. Or, conversely, Jonouchi called him and he decided extra work could wait.

He was also aware that Jonouchi hadn’t been bar-hopping in ages--not without Kaiba, anyway. And if he wasn’t bar-hopping, he wasn’t hooking up. If he wasn’t hooking up...that meant he was committed. Right? That was the only thing it could mean, especially in context. Kaiba knew the feeling of being put before everything else. He was accustomed to it due to the life he’d had. So he could tell that he was of greater importance to Jonouchi than his wild nights or impulsive pursuits. At the moment, Kaiba could even entertain the idea that he was more important than Yugi, but he made himself calm down a little. The thought was making him far too self-satisfied.

Thankfully, Yugi got tired and after finishing his cup of rice, decided to excuse himself to get back to his hotel. Jonouchi had offered for him to spend the night, but Yugi just laughed, shaking his head.

“No, it’s really alright Jonouchi, I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“You know I wouldn’t mind,” spoke Jonouchi as he started clearing up the table, putting away cartons of food. “I got an air mattress to sleep on.”

“No, it’s okay.” Yugi just waved the offer again before grabbing his coat. “I’ll come see you tomorrow, Jonouchi. We can get lunch together. Maybe all of us,” he continued, “If Kaiba-kun isn’t too busy.”

“I’ll consider it,” answered Kaiba neutrally.

Yugi left soon after. Kaiba got the horrifying impression that he knew he was wanted gone--not in a malicious way, of course. But despite his best attempts, he couldn’t stop the feeling of self-satisfaction knowing he won Jonouchi’s attentions for the night and Yugi had realized that.

It didn’t matter, really, anyways. Yugi was in good spirits when he left, and Kaiba was gratefully alone with Jonouchi. He was as possessive of Jonouchi’s time as ever, though now he didn’t have to feel bad about it. He couldn’t pinpoint what had sparked that change. Maybe it was that Jonouchi didn’t want to divert his attention from Kaiba so frequently.

Kaiba didn’t know what to say after Yugi left. He wasn’t much of a conversation starter in general, but especially not at times like this, when there was plenty to say, but nothing they wanted to discuss.

“So you have an air mattress, huh?”

Jonouchi blinked before blushing madly, moving away to appear busy. He went into the kitchen, cleaning dishes in his sink as Mio followed after to watch.

“Of course I do,” Jonouchi answered, “I’m not sharing a bed with Yugi. That’s just kinda weird, even if he is my best friend.”

“Hm,” Kaiba didn’t bother trying to stop the smug smile that crossed his face. He wasn’t even facing Jonouchi, but he was sure he’d know what expression he was making. “I suppose that makes sense…”

He avoided asking what it made him if it wasn’t weird to share a bed with him. But he had a feeling that might put Jonouchi on edge.

“It’s nice to know you want me along on this trip,” he noted, “But I’ve never done anything like it before. What exactly is the plan for this?”

“There’s not much of a plan,” Jonouchi shrugged. “It’s supposed to be an adventure. Whatever we want it to be. Yugi and I didn’t want to tie ourselves down to anything. We just want to go down the coast, check out all the cities and see what we can before coming back home.”

“Fair enough,” Kaiba muttered. His mind was already somewhere else; he’d expected a response like that. He tapped his fingers on the back of the couch for several seconds as Jonouchi continued cleaning his kitchen. He paused his deliberate fastidiousness when Kaiba cleared his throat.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed, “I want to talk to you about something soon--something important. Something I think we need to discuss.”

He watched Jonouchi for a reaction. That reaction was frozen panic, so Kaiba shook his head urgently.

“It can wait for now,” he offered as reassurance, “I just wanted to let you know. I’ve been putting it off for a long time, and I don’t want to do it much longer.”

“Okay.”

Jonouchi dried his hands on a towel before coming over back to the couch, taking a seat as the cat landed on his lap. He stroked her head, though his eyes remained on Kaiba the entire time.

“So in the mean time,” Jonouchi began, making a small, hesitant smile, “does that mean you plan on staying the night with me?”

“If I’m invited, then of course,” Kaiba tried and failed to resist smiling, so he turned his gaze away. He walked around the couch and sat down gingerly on the cushion beside Jonouchi, surprising him with the instant close proximity. But Mio seemed to detect Kaiba’s underlying plan and leapt as far from Jonouchi’s lap as she could just before Kaiba pounced. He got his arms around Jonouchi and used surprise and his weight to tackle him to the cushions, grinning deviously.

Jonouchi was appalled and tried to be offended at first, but dropped that charade almost immediately. He snorted, then laughed outright when Kaiba planted a kiss on his cheek. He was forced into silence when their lips met, and the two of them were very quiet for some time after...

TWO MONTHS PREVIOUS

Kaiba met Jonouchi at the bar, as usual. It had become like an unspoken arrangement between them; if neither of them suggested an activity, it meant they would meet at the bar. It hadn’t started because of any manipulation on either part (though looking back, Kaiba wondered why he hadn’t thought of it) but because they were both alcoholics. If there was nothing to do and a long night stretching before them, they went drinking. And by chance, they always ran into one another.

He wondered if it was really chance, but forced himself to believe it was best not to question. It was what it was, and he wasn’t about to complain about having Jonouchi around regularly. They even got the same seats most the time, on the quieter side of the bar with their backs to the wall. That was out of Jonouchi’s preference more than Kaiba’s. Kaiba wasn’t sheltered enough to think it was because Jonouchi was concerned about his feng shui.

It was the middle of the week, and like every week before it, they were casually drinking beer and chatting. Some nights they would compete or just sip hard drinks with the intent of getting plastered, but Kaiba had noticed that over time, their habit of bingeing when they were together had mostly run its course.

Jonouchi was in a good mood, which Kaiba was always happy about, especially since it meant his primary duties for the night were drinking and listening. Alcohol and happiness made Jonouchi chatty, and more vulgar than usual. Kaiba would never admit to anyone how many of the stupid and dirty jokes Jonouchi made could get a laugh out of him. The more he drank, the less he could restrain himself.

Jonouchi was in the middle of a story that Kaiba suspected was going to end with something lewd when a man entered the bar. They could see the entrance from where they were sitting. Kaiba had been noticing, but not really watching, the people who came and went. Jonouchi hadn’t been either, but this particular person made him fall silent and glare pointedly. Kaiba was instantly curious and wanted to ask what was going on, but Jonouchi’s glare didn’t stop the man from approaching them with purpose.

Kaiba started to get wary. The man was in their age range, obviously irate, and--worst of all--considerably attractive. It was only more evident the closer he got to them. Kaiba noticed from a distance that he had lean muscle under his light t-shirt and dark jeans, and his short, dirty-blond hair was neatly styled and clean. His eyes were dark, and probably would have been warm under different circumstances, but his current mood made them more akin to murky waters.

When the man stopped in front of them, he locked gazes with Kaiba for a moment. It was almost no time at all, yet for the first time in a long time, Kaiba felt like he was being sized up by someone the same way he did everyone else. He grew defensive, his business mentality creeping to the forefront of his thoughts. He hoped, spitefully, that whoever this man was, the short glance that had made his nostrils flare and lip curl had made him feel intimidated. He hadn’t even opened his mouth yet, and already Kaiba felt as if he was competing, especially physically. Whether there was any intellectual threat was yet to be determined.

Kaiba was only angered further when the stranger addressed Jonouchi with the most pleasant demeanor Kaiba had ever seen. His features lifted, his eyes sparkling as he smiled. He leaned on the bar casually.

“I didn’t know you were still going to this run down dump still, Jonouchi,” started the man as he waved the bartender for a beer. Jonouchi just frowned. When the beer was set in front of him, Jonouchi’s frown just grew larger. “I’ve been looking for you. What are you doing here?”

“I’m with my friend,” Jonouchi said neutrally, “and I’m too busy to talk to you right now.”

“I’m pretty sure you could make some time for me,” said the blond man with a short laugh. He finally looked at Kaiba again, this time more friendly as his lips wrinkled into a small smile. “And who are you?”

“My name isn’t important,” Kaiba answered curtly. “I’m a friend.”

“Just a friend?” asked the man.

Jonouchi rolled his eyes. “You can’t come in here demanding my attention whenever you feel like it. We haven’t spoken in months. There’s a reason why I don’t go to the old hang outs. Stop bothering me already.”

The man made a face before shrugging his shoulders. His eyes turned dark, but his face just puckered up a little bit before he turned around to leave. He grabbed the glass off of the table that Jonouchi ignored, dropping money on the table before taking a quick sip.

“You two enjoy your evening, then,” he said before giving a mock salute towards Jonouchi with a smirk, “We’ll see each other again real soon!”

Jonouchi looked away, staring at the watermarked table uncomfortably while Kaiba stared at the retreating man. He could feel his hair standing up on the back of his neck, goose bumps growing along his arms and neck. Something about the stranger gave him the creeps, and he couldn’t get over that feeling until the room began buzzing with quiet conversation again.

“Who was that?” Kaiba finally asked, “Someone you know?”

“Not well,” Jonouchi answered sullenly. “He was someone I just used to party with a little bit before I learned better. I mean, he’s not like dangerous or anything, but he can get possessive about my time when he wants to hang out.”

“...Hang out?” Kaiba repeated, his tone making no secret of the fact that he wasn’t convinced. “I’m old enough to know what you get up to, Jonouchi. It sounds to me like this guy is a problem if he’s not taking a hint.”

He didn’t like knowing what Jonouchi got up to, but in this case it was part of an investigation, not another reminder of the place he didn’t hold in Jonouchi’s life.

“What are you looking for me to admit to?” Jonouchi accused, his face turning towards Kaiba as he made a rather sour expression. “I’m not ashamed for experimenting. I know him from some clubs, that I don’t even visit anymore. I made out with him a few times, might have touched his dick once with my hands, but I swear Kaiba, that was it. I don’t do anything else with the guys I meet.”

“Really?” Kaiba queried, mainly to himself. That was vitally important information. He hadn’t known Jonouchi did so little with the people he hooked up with. He’d just always assumed that he’d gone as far as--well, as far as the two of them had on the night Kaiba was the hook-up.

He struggled for a second or two to figure out what that meant, especially since they hadn’t done anything conclusive since, but he shook it off for the moment. The conversation was supposed to be about Jonouchi.

“I’m not trying to make you feel like you have to justify yourself to me,” Kaiba stated sincerely. He didn’t add that he definitely liked knowing Jonouchi felt that way. He didn’t want Jonouchi to be uncomfortable, but his discomfort indicated that he held Kaiba in higher esteem than just about everyone around him. Jonouchi usually wasn’t one to care who thought what about his actions. “But as long as we’re on the topic--I didn’t know you were that chaste. You talk and act like you’re an expert at cruising.”

“I am,” Jonouchi pointed out, “I cruise, but I don’t go parking in people’s harbors all the time like you seem to think. I’ve slept with maybe three girls, and not the Korean one that you might be thinking about. You’re the only man I’ve ever taken home with me, and if you weren’t someone I didn’t already know from years past, I never would have.

“You might think I’m some promiscuous hot mess, but I’m not, Kaiba. I just like having fun. I don’t sleep with every attractive guy I bump into.”

“I don’t know about mess,” Kaiba muttered, “But I admit my perspective on the situation was extreme. I doubt you’ll be as surprised to know you’re the only person I’ve taken home.”

Who else would he take home? His brother was out of the country, and he wasn’t about to invite a co-worker or shareholder. He was well aware that his reasons ran deeper than that, of course. He hoped sincerely that Jonouchi was, too, but he wasn’t willing to address it bluntly.

He started sipping what was left of his beer. He didn’t want to show that he felt smug about being the only person Jonouchi had taken home, and he definitely made an effort to hide how absurdly fluttery that made him. He debated mentioning it out of sheer stupidity, but didn’t. Instead, he just started blushing. He knew it was obvious and hoped it could be reasonably blamed on the alcohol.

Jonouchi shook his head before sighing. “I’m not. I knew that already and it never bothered me. I know you’re a private person. I like that about you. It makes me feel special.”

His eyes trailed off before his shoulders slumped noticeably. “The guy who approached me’s name is Michael. He’s a trust fund baby and likes to party away since he doesn’t really have a job to worry about. I think he talked about doing movies before, but no one will take him seriously.

“I talked to him because he was attractive. When I realized how weird and creepy he was, I stopped going to the clubs I’d see him at. I never told him why I quit seeing him, and I never gave him my phone number.”

Kaiba wasn’t sure how to reply. Everything that came to mind could come off as offensive, and he doubted Jonouchi wanted to prolong the conversation. It was a miracle he’d revealed as much as he had.

He sipped more of his beer. He didn’t even know what to think of all the information he’d received. On one hand, he was flattered and relieved. On the other, he felt spurned. If he was something to Jonouchi, even if just comparatively, then why was he going after strangers? Why were the two of them still in limbo?

Limbo made worse by his own silence, he knew. But he wasn’t ready to say anything. That meant that ultimately, he was his own problem. He snorted, thinking how aptly that kept with the theme of his life. Jonouchi glanced at him when he made the sound. Kaiba looked back, but got lost staring at the contours of Jonouchi’s face and his hazel eyes. Jonouchi got uncomfortable and looked away. Kaiba turned his own gaze back to his beer.

They should have bought harder drinks.

Things had proceeded about as normal for the next couple of weeks. Kaiba found himself at the bar with Jonouchi again, which wasn’t unusual, but was far from unwanted. For the first week, Kaiba’s mind had wandered frequently to the man who approached them, but time without another incident eased that. That left Kaiba oh-so-joyously free to stew over Jonouchi instead.

He was well ahead of Jonouchi on drinks. Usually it was the other way around. Tonight, Kaiba was both mixing his alcohol types with little discrimination, and downing them in large quantities. It was bad enough that Jonouchi asked tentatively if he wanted to stop. Kaiba couldn’t remember what he’d said--he seemed to remember scoffing dismissively and waving a hand in an uncoordinated fashion.

He was aware that drinking too much usually made him behave differently, but tonight seemed especially bad. He was pent up, and that was making him mouthy and short on attention.

“What’s up with you?” Jonouchi asked after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. “Did someone piss in your coffee this morning?”

“Probably, but I’m used to the taste by now if that’s a habit among my interns,” Kaiba replied sarcastically.

Jonouchi rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t visit today. I had a lot of parts I had to take care of for some new orders that were made. It was all kind of last minute. I wanted to stop by, but you know how shit happens sometimes... I barely got to even at lunch. Ushiro had to buy some for me.”

Sipping his drink, Jonouchi turned his eyes on Kaiba. They looked cautious, as if Kaiba was making him nervous.

“If you want, I could take you to this all night Korean place I know,” Jonouchi offered. “I know your day sucked, but I don’t want you drinking so much that you get sick. You should eat something.”

Kaiba was slouched so low over the bar that his chin was nearly on the rim of his empty glass. He turned his head to better look at Jonouchi, though for some reason he couldn’t quite focus on him. Maybe it was time to stop drinking. He didn’t know. Maybe he should keep going until he passed out. Or puked. He’d never done that before. But then he might puke on Jonouchi, and be too embarrassed to ever speak to him again.

“I don’t eat late,” he said at first, as if out of compulsion. He didn’t even mean that, so why had he said it? Food actually sounded nice, and the worry in Jonouchi’s eyes when it was offered made him want to accept. “If you want to eat out, though...you know, I’ll eat out with you.”

Talking was getting difficult. He already wasn’t the best at it, but losing track of his thoughts made it worse. He suddenly laughed a little, but couldn’t recall why.

“Don’t make that face all night,” he commanded with an immature expression, bumping Jonouchi’s chin with his index finger equally childishly.

“I can’t help it.”

“Can’t help it?” Kaiba tried to collect himself enough to think that over, because something about it struck him, but he lost it quickly. He shook his head and started chuckling to himself again. “You don’t need to worry about me. Everyone pushes their limit sometimes.”

“Yeah, but you usually do that at home, not in public...” Jonouchi mumbled. He sighed and put a hand through his hair, shaking his head before calling over the waiter. Glancing at Kaiba briefly, Jonouchi ordered a plate of karaage. “Well, I’m hungry,” he added afterwards, sipping his beer before Kaiba could ask over it. Kaiba shrugged and finished the last dregs of his own drink. He made of point of setting the glass back down.

“There,” he announced. His voice was a bit loud. “That’s it for tonight, okay?”

He wasn’t only doing it to please Jonouchi, admittedly. He was aware that he was in a state that his bed should be close enough to tumble into. Instead, he still had his tie knotted and shirt buttoned, tucked into his slacks, and he wasn’t even near home. He was going to have to call a taxi and come get his car in the morning, which wasn’t dignified in the least.

“Can I tell you something, Kaiba?” Jonouchi said, interrupting Kaiba’s thoughts as he turned his hazel eyes back up at him. “I don’t want you freaking out, but I thought I should tell someone.”

“Mmmmkay?” Kaiba raised an eyebrow, tilting his head inquisitively without meaning to. “I’m listening.”

“You remember that guy who showed up a few weeks ago?” asked Jonouchi, “Michael? Well, I don’t want to alarm you, but I’ve been starting to see him everywhere I go. Is that odd to you?”

At first, Kaiba could only watch Jonouchi expectantly, thinking surely he was either joking or leading up to something else. When nothing else happened, he snapped into alarm so quickly that Jonouchi looked upset.

“Of course that’s odd!” Kaiba exclaimed, trying his best in his drunkenness to avoid the word idiot. “People don’t just turn up everywhere! Especially people you’ve gone out with. Sounds to me like he’s shadowing you and you should get rid of him.”

He scowled, then felt bad when he saw Jonouchi’s expression and sighed.

“I freaked out,” he offered as an apology, “My point is, the man is a creep. It could be innocent, it could be malicious. Either way...it’s best to stop things like this before they escalate.”

“Maybe,” Jonouchi sighed. “But I feel like confronting him would only make it worse. I mean, wouldn’t just ignoring him give him a hint? I don’t think it’s that serious. I’m not afraid of him, really, just a little weirded out.”

“Ignoring him is probably what caused him to start following you,” Kaiba reasoned, “He’s obsessing. If you confront him and he just acts crazier, get a restraining order. What if he’s following you home? He might take you ignoring him as incentive to make sure you can’t.”

“You’re scaring me, Kaiba.”

Jonouchi went silent for a few minutes, seeming to dwell on Kaiba’s words before turning his attention to the fried chicken wings that were presented in front of him. “Thank god for food,” he mumbled, “I don’t know what I’d do without it.”

He started tearing through his food, not speaking another word on the subject of Michael. Kaiba didn’t push, either--silence from Jonouchi was a clear sign that something had gone wrong, and Kaiba wasn’t going to sugar-coat to make him feel better. Sure, people got obsessed and followed someone they liked around sometimes, but Kaiba had been kept under armed security for enough of his life to know that seeing someone everywhere was a bad sign.

The only problem was, he was genuinely getting hungry, and wanted some of Jonouchi’s food. But he wasn’t sure if he should ask while Jonouchi was visibly upset. Usually, Jonouchi offered to share when they were together. Kaiba couldn’t tell if his silence right now was due to preoccupation or not.

Before he could make up his mind to say something, Jonouchi stiffened. Kaiba followed his gaze to the opposite end of the bar. At first, he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, and started feeling bad because he might have made Jonouchi paranoid, but then he realized that the very person they’d been discussing had entered the building.

Kaiba scowled. It was bad enough hearing about somebody creeping on Jonouchi. Now it was happening right in front of him. Jonouchi pretended he hadn’t seen anything and buried himself in tearing apart his chicken. Kaiba couldn’t do that--partly because there was nothing to divert his attention. Jonouchi wasn’t speaking to him, he wasn’t eating, and he’d said he was done drinking.

That left him with his gaze firmly fixed on Michael, who seemed convinced that he was undetected near the entrance to the bar. He wasn’t stupid enough to take a seat at the counter, but he was within twenty feet. Kaiba glared relentlessly at him, his drunkenness now intensifying his concentration. Michael didn’t notice for a solid couple of minutes, and when he did, he was so indifferent that Kaiba grew genuinely angry.

They remained in a silent impasse, Kaiba glaring in rage, Michael feeling (or at least feigning) self-importance, and Jonouchi pretending to be oblivious, until Kaiba tired of it and smacked his palms quietly, but firmly against the bar. Jonouchi only looked at him as he stood, knowing what the body language meant, but either shock or Michael’s presence made him too timid to do more than ask repeatedly what Kaiba was doing.

Kaiba didn’t respond. He made a beeline for Michael, his concentration tunneling with his vision. He knew he wasn’t walking in a very coordinated fashion, and he definitely wasn’t at his best. But he was trained and determined. That counted for something, right? He was too drunk to think maybe it wasn’t the time to find out.

“You,” he addressed as rudely as possible when he was within a few feet of the other man. He got a raised eyebrow in response. Kaiba stopped himself from showing how angry that made him. Who on god’s green earth thought they were important enough to be indifferent to him? “You’ve been bothering Jonouchi, and you need to leave.”

“Excuse me,” repeated the man, laughing in Kaiba’s face before shaking his head, “who the hell do you think you are? His boyfriend.” Michael snorted. “Doubtful. If Jonouchi has something to say to me, he can say it for himself.”

“Screw off,” Jonouchi yelled out from across the room, “I’m saying that now.”

Michael just rolled his eyes. Kaiba found that response dissatisfactory.

“So, what? Now that he’s said something to you, you’re going to ignore him? Do you not know that you’re acting like a psycho, or do you just not care?”

“I still don’t know why you are getting in the middle of this,” continued Michael nonchalantly. “My relationship with Jonouchi is none of your business.” He crossed his arms and smiled. “How are you to him, anyways? His guard dog?”

Then Michael began making woof-like noises, mocking Kaiba in his face before breaking into an obnoxious fit of laughter. Jonouchi tried hiding his face, embarrassed. Kaiba could feel his cheeks burning as he stretched out his hands at his sides, eyes burning. Clearly Michael had shown up at the bar drunk himself, but Kaiba didn’t care.

“Take this feud outside,” said a voice in Japanese. It was the bar owner. He was waving his hands at all three of them. “This is not the place for stupid fits of violence.”

Jonouchi got up at that, putting money down on the table. “No problem, it’s time we left anyways.” He left his stool and grabbed Kaiba’s arm, trying to pull him towards the exit. “Let’s just go now.”

Kaiba deliberated for a few long seconds as Jonouchi tugged on him, trying to decide if he should insist on defending both his pride and Jonouchi’s safety. But Jonouchi started to pull harder, and quietly murmured his name, so Kaiba reluctantly turned and allowed himself to be led. Jonouchi kept hold of his arm as if to secure him. He heard Michael behind them, laughing, which made him burn. Jonouchi could tell and mumbled something that Kaiba assumed was supposed to calm him. He didn’t quite make it out.

What he did make out was Michael’s obnoxious voice yowling behind them as they reached the door. He didn’t catch the first bit of it because he was absorbed in his thoughts, but he got the important part.

“...when all you are to him is a well-trained pet dog,” he finished deliberately loudly. Kaiba stopped walking so abruptly that Jonouchi was jerked back. He knew what was going to happen even before Kaiba pulled out of his grip. Kaiba knew it, the bartender knew it judging by his flustered commands for them to leave, and Michael probably knew but wasn’t smart enough to start apologizing.

Kaiba strode the few feet between them so quickly that Michael looked a little perplexed. Maybe he was more drunk than Kaiba had originally thought. It didn’t really matter--that worked to his advantage. Michael smirked, and looked like he was about to say something to invite trouble. He didn’t get that far. Kaiba gathered his focus enough to land a solid punch in his infuriating face, and was recoiling for another.

He didn’t need to land a second punch. Michael didn’t come back after he reeled. He fell to the floor, and if he wasn’t unconscious, he had given up. Kaiba was grumpy, but satisfied, and hummed quietly as he turned back toward Jonouchi. He had intended to leave the bar with him now that the situation was settled, but the look on Jonouchi’s face told him he’d miscalculated. Badly.

He approached Jonouchi cautiously, wary of his seething expression, but he didn’t get to say anything--the bartender started verbally assaulting them, and when that didn’t make them immediately skitter off, he came after them, wielding a nearby broom like a katana. Kaiba screamed something at him when they were on the pavement--he wasn’t sure what after he was done. Probably something very rude.

He was more concerned with Jonouchi.

Instead of thanking Kaiba, he stood some feet away outside, stewing in anger. His entire face was red and his hands were tight by his sides, Jonouchi giving out a few icy glares before he finally kicked at a bus sign hard and cursed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he began, directing his anger straight at Kaiba, “are you really that stupid as to attack a guy unprovoked? Jesus...”

“Unprovoked?” Kaiba spluttered, indignant. “Explain to me which part wasn’t supposed to provoke me--the mockery, or the fucking stalking?”

He was no less angry than he’d been inside the bar, now. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was just that pissed, or if he was trying to match Jonouchi’s anger. Or maybe he was translating the ever-shunned feelings of hurt and embarrassment into more rage. Either way, he was yelling at Jonouchi in earnest for the first time, and he didn’t think he liked it much.

“What was I supposed to do in there, exactly? Ignore him? What kind of person would that make me? What kind of friend would that make me?”

“A smart one, to begin with,” Jonouchi fought back, his voice straining as he put his hands through his hair in frustration. “Who cares what kind of shit that guy was telling you? You don’t know him and he doesn’t know you. That wasn’t any reason to attack him... besides, my problem with him is my business, Kaiba. Not yours. I didn’t ask for you to start a bar fight to protect my honor or some other kind of stupid macho shit...”

Kaiba paused and stared at Jonouchi in confusion and disbelief, working to process that. His mind unhelpfully told him that he shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. That was a bit on the moot side now.

“So, next time someone is stalking you, and they turn up to cause trouble, you want me to sit quietly with my thumbs up my ass?” Kaiba spat, though he was now more humiliated than angry. Hell if he was going to let Jonouchi know that. “I fail to see what good that would have done. I’m sorry if my impulsiveness embarrassed you.”

“Maybe I’d like it if for once, you could just trust my judgement and stop making decisions for me, Kaiba!” Jonouchi was huffing, his chest out as he finally started almost screaming in Kaiba’s face, “You don’t give a shit about what I want. You just do what you will anyways, and then you’re surprised when I’m upset with you. Who the fuck said you could go and get in my business like that? I told you about Michael as a friend. I don’t need you to play as my white knight, too, Kaiba.”

Kaiba was speechless. He watched Jonouchi seethe, breathing laboriously. He seemed like he was cooling off just slightly after the outburst, but he was still very angry. Kaiba didn’t have any anger left. He wanted to go home.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” he stated flatly. It was all he could say, and that phrase had been burning to get out of him for their entire argument. Whether it was only because of tonight, he wasn’t sure.

“Yes, you do,” Jonouchi shot back. “You’ve known for a while now.”

“If I had, we wouldn’t be standing here on the pavement arguing about some entitled ex-boyfriend,” Kaiba snapped, “If I knew what the hell you want from me, my life would be a lot fucking easier. I can’t give you what you don’t ask for, Jonouchi.”

“It’s too late for that now then, I guess.” Jonouchi sighed loudly, shaking his head a few times before letting out a frustrating cry of anger. “You fucked it up, Kaiba. You fucked it up...”

He started walking towards the direction of his apartment. His body language made it clear that Kaiba was not to follow.

Chapter Text

Kaiba hadn’t heard from Jonouchi in a full week, which was like an eternity compared to the daily interaction they’d been having. They hadn’t done so much as send the odd text--not that Kaiba had tried to initiate. He hadn’t even been going to the bar to try finding Jonouchi. That was partly because he thought the bartender might still be pissed, but mostly because he was a coward and didn’t want to see how Jonouchi would react face to face.

If he was there at all. It might feel worse to see that he was avoiding a place he obviously loved to be just to maintain distance.

Kaiba had waited in silence, trying and failing not to spend most of his free time thinking about the predicament. It was hard not to. He was still wrapping his mind around Jonouchi’s accusations, and much to his chagrin, he understood what he meant the more he mulled it over. Kaiba hated being wrong as much as (and significantly more) than the next person.

If he was wrong, that meant he had to apologize. That meant he had to approach Jonouchi first.
And that was hard. So a week passed with no action on his part, and he drank alone at home,
and he was extra cranky with all the interns. With his secretary, too, but she either didn’t notice or
could care less about his mood.

When the weekend came, and Kaiba was facing the prospect of entering another week dealing
with the same, he mustered up the direct strategy he so prided himself on and called Jonouchi
when he assumed he’d be off work. He half expected not to get a reply, but miraculously, the call
connected.

Jonouchi was snippy and hostile at first, but he allowed Kaiba to speak. He didn’t react negatively
to being invited over for take-out either, which made Kaiba feel like an idiot for waiting so long to
call. Jonouchi was obviously angry, but he wasn’t beyond reason.

The next evening, Kaiba waited with mounting nervousness in his living room until Jonouchi
showed up. He was visibly cross, but didn’t do anything especially aggressive before sitting down.

“I ordered pad Thai,” Kaiba informed him once Jonouchi had passed through the threshold of his
door. “It should be here soon enough.”

“You found a carry-out place that you like?” asked Jonouchi curiously, “I always thought a guy like
you wouldn’t be interested in that sort of thing.”

“It’s nearby, and I don’t cook,” Kaiba explained with a shrug, “I found myself in a desperate
situation and was lucky enough that my first resort turned out to be up to standard.”

He realized he could apply that statement to his relationship with Jonouchi, but dismissed the
thought. It was rude, and no longer true. Though he wouldn’t be against calling their meeting a
fortunate happenstance. Now he just had to stop the whole thing from falling apart.

“What all did you order?” asked Jonouchi. “I hope you got egg rolls.”

He appeared slightly nervous, but not enough to stop himself from searching through Kaiba’s
fridge after taking off his shoes. Snatching a beer, he parked himself in a far seat before glancing
towards the big open windows that showcased the city.

“Of course I got egg rolls,” Kaiba snorted, “I’m confident you’ll approve of the food when it gets
here. You know me well enough to know I wouldn’t get something weird.”

“Yeah, because you don’t like experimenting all that much,” remarked Jonouchi.

He shook the beer in his hands. Imported. Kaiba always stuck to things he was familiar with, and
Jonouchi realizing that made him frown a little bit.

“If you have beer at home, why do you go to the bar so often?” asked Jonouchi.

“Social interaction,” Kaiba replied, slightly taken aback by the question, “And because I hear it’s
unhealthy to be an alcoholic in isolation.”

“You only talk to me,” Jonouchi mumbled. “I didn’t think you were ever an alcoholic...”

“You are the aforementioned social interaction, yes,” Kaiba confirmed, intending to continue, but
he stopped. He knew he drank too much and too consistently to be anything but an alcoholic, but
he remembered that Jonouchi might be sensitive toward the term. He bit his tongue on it for the
moment. “Why do you ask?”

“Because it gives us something to talk about.”

Kaiba didn’t know what to think of that, but he couldn’t really dwell over it for long when the door
rang. The food had arrived. He got up from his seat, opening the door to pay the delivery guy
before grabbing the boxes and setting them on the coffee table.

Jonouchi ripped into the bags. “I'm guessing mine is the one with prawns,” Jonouchi said with a
small smile, “while yours is vegetarian.”

“You’d be correct.”

Grabbing the cheap chopsticks from the bag, Jonouchi opened the top of his container before
diving into his food. He snatched an egg roll too, dunking it into sauce before shoving it into his
mouth.

Kaiba ate more conservatively with his own chopsticks, quietly watching Jonouchi scarf. He wasn’t
sure if he should bring up the situation at the bar yet, and he was wary that he might trigger more
odd questions. He opted for waiting silently. Jonouchi seemed to be enjoying himself so far, and
maybe a full stomach and beer would make him more receptive to a serious conversation. Kaiba
didn’t want them to repeat their performance from the week before.

“Do you ever go to bars without me?” asked Jonouchi out of no where. “Or am I the sole purpose
of your midnight boozing?”

“There’s... no reason to go to bars alone,” Kaiba reasoned cautiously, trying to avoid giving a
direct answer. “In a way, yes, I go out drinking so much because of you. It’s a lot more enjoyable
than my previous strategy of getting drunk at home staring at the wall.”

“Hmm...” Jonouchi took another bite out of his egg roll, skillfully avoiding dropping it into his carton
of noodles. “Okay, what about this other question I have, then. Have you ever been physically
interested in another man besides me?”

Kaiba opened his mouth as if to answer, but stopped. He was about to say something hostile,
which wasn’t how he wanted the evening to go, and against his own will he started thinking about
it. After a minor flood of doubt and insecurity resulting from his racing memories, he replied.

“No,” he stated, “Is it important?”

“Why me, then?” Jonouchi cut him off, not answering Kaiba’s own question. “Why did you start
getting involved with me?”

“I--because I wanted to,” Kaiba stated, forcing his expression into neutrality even though he was
so perplexed it was making him angry. “It happened. It’s not like I woke up one morning and
thought maybe I should hop the fence for shits.”

Jonouchi downcast his eyes, focusing on his food once more as his eyebrows furrowed. He
appeared deep in thought. Rapidly, he started shoveling food into his mouth until he stopped,
swallowing before turning his attention back on his drink.

“What does that even mean?” Jonouchi snorted venomously, “are you a bit gay or not?”

“You tell me,” Kaiba grumbled, “You obviously know more about it than I do.”

When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure why he was so defensive. He hadn’t put much thought
into his sexuality because he honestly didn’t care, but he was upset that Jonouchi did. He couldn’t
figure out why it was a question all of a sudden. It seemed like something more pertinent to ask
before they fucked around, if it was such a big deal.

“It doesn’t really matter what you call it. I know what I like,” Kaiba huffed, then returned to his
meal.

“Which is what?” Jonouchi challenged. “You’ve never been too clear about it.”

“I’ve been clearer with you than anyone else,” Kaiba replied dryly. He immediately regretted that
and started to feel his cheeks begin to burn, but he reasoned that it didn’t matter. He’d admitted
less-than-subtly that he hadn’t even been with someone before Jonouchi. Maybe Jonouchi was
too drunk at the time to remember.

“I’m into women and you. That’s it. It’s not that complicated.”

“That doesn’t make any damn sense...” Jonouchi mumbled under his breath, shaking his head
before moving the noodles around with his chopsticks. “Are you saying I’m like a woman to you,
Kaiba?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kaiba scoffed, “I’m saying you’re the only man I’ve been interested in. Isn’t
that what you asked?”

Kaiba had been suspicious of Jonouchi’s line of questioning from the start, but now he didn’t know
what to think. Jonouchi looked so dejected that Kaiba was even less sure of his motivations for
asking.

“Why the sudden concern, anyway?” Kaiba asked as a thought came to him. “I assumed you
wouldn’t really care since you just wanted to fool around.”

Kind of. Sort of. Not really, but basically. Kaiba wished he could get an answer about it that wasn’t
somewhere in the middle. Were they fuck buddies? They didn’t really get around to the fucking
part, though that was due mainly to Kaiba.

“I’m trying to figure you out because nothing that you do makes any sort of sense.”

Jonouchi sipped his beer before taking another mouthful of pad thai to himself and began chewing
it aggressively.

“You punched my ex in the face, when I told you not to.”

“It wasn’t the best display of self-control,” Kaiba admitted in a mutter, his demeanor less defiant
now that he was being confronted with his errors. He’d hoped to be in control of that discussion.
“The whole reason I finally called was so I could apologize. The situation was stupid, and I acted
stupid about it.”

Jonouchi looked away from Kaiba’s eyes, appearing indifferent.

“What are you apologizing for, exactly, Kaiba?”

Kaiba blinked. Another odd question. But refusing to answer wouldn’t do him any good, and he
was too confused to be cryptic.

“For punching out your ex,” he stated. Wasn’t that obvious? Wasn’t it the whole reason they were
in this situation? “Are you saying you changed your mind about it?”

“No.”

Jonouchi paused before tapping his chopsticks on his food once. Twice.

“You completely embarrassed me, Kaiba. Why did you think you could do something like that? Did
you honestly think I’d be thankful?”

“I certainly didn’t think you’d be embarrassed,” Kaiba replied, frowning now. He had set his food
aside without thinking about it and felt the way he often did when confronted with overly
complicated problems at work. That wasn’t a feeling he liked to sense while being around
Jonouchi. “What upset you so much about it?”

“That you didn’t listen to me!” Jonouchi finally shot out. “You just completely bulldozed over me
and made a scene. How can I trust that you won’t go and attack the next ex that comes my way
looking for a booty call? Do you not trust me to deal with my own problems?”

“What’s wrong with me doing it for you?” Kaiba demanded. It looked like he was stuck in the
doghouse anyway. He may as well get it off his chest. “Besides, I don’t intend to make a habit of
assaulting strangers even if they have foul mouths. But your exes or whoever else that tries to
start something with me in public deserves what they get.”

“He wasn’t trying to start something with you, Kaiba,” yelled Jonouchi back, “he was talking to me.
Me! Not you. Where do you even get off thinking that was your place to just jump in and be a
fucking macho prick about it? Because you know I’ve done things with the guy? Does that bother
you? A normal friend wouldn’t do that.”

“Why shouldn’t it bother me?” Kaiba retorted before he could stop himself. He took a split second
to be stunned, then accepted that it was too late and continued. “Why shouldn’t it bother me to be
around while other men are hitting you up for sex? Especially if they’re shitbags, and especially if
you’re the one going after them? It’s unfair to drag me along with you while you’re running after
other people and forgetting about me completely if you meet someone else.”

“Excuse me?” Jonouchi laughed darkly before dropping his utensils into his food and sitting up
straighter before huffing, “When have I ever done that, Kaiba? Please fucking tell me, because I’m
pretty sure I haven’t been with or even looked at another man since I started spending time with
you. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that? Are you jealous?”

Kaiba had an answer to that, but couldn’t voice it. He glared away from Jonouchi determinedly, his
cheeks and sternum alike burning in humiliation.

“Answer my question, Kaiba. Are you jealous?” Jonouchi demanded.

“What would it matter to you if I was?” Kaiba snapped, “It has nothing to do with anything.”

“Yes it does.” Jonouchi pushed back his food, the box half eaten before sighing. “You’re in love
with me, aren’t you?”

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Kaiba leaned away from Jonouchi, panicked and appalled
by the accusation. He put every ounce of available concentration into not giving himself away,
though his heart rate and clammy skin might be doing it for him. “Don’t start throwing around wild
accusations, especially about something that serious.”

“This is serious,” Jonouchi hissed. “You attacked a man at a bar unprovoked. What else reason do
you have for that kind of stupid behavior, Kaiba?”

When Kaiba couldn’t come up with an answer soon enough, Jonouchi laughed.

“You don’t fucking have one! I can’t believe you right now...”

“So because you don’t think my reasoning is good enough, you’ve decided I must be in love with
you? Because that would make everything better,” Kaiba snapped. He was being intentionally
more defensive than he felt. The problem with this argument was that Jonouchi was neither afraid
of him, nor was he stupid. That meant that faulty logic wouldn’t be enough--that had already been
proven. Despite some part of him screaming at him not to do it, he defaulted to the next best
resort of being so unpleasant that Jonouchi would leave him alone.

Would Jonouchi leaving make him feel better or worse than Jonouchi finding out the truth?

“If you want me off your back, then fine. I’ll leave you alone,” Kaiba continued venomously, “You
can hook up with whoever the fuck you want and take booty calls from all the stalkers you want.
It’s not my business, and I really don’t give a shit. I made a mistake getting involved with
something that obviously you wanted me to pretend wasn’t even going on.”

“I already said I wasn’t-” began Jonouchi, but he caught himself. Getting up, he crossed his arms
before leaving the living room to put on his shoes. “Believe whatever you’d like about me, Kaiba,
but I never once betrayed you like you seem to think. I can’t believe you really think I’m just some
whore...

“Also,” said Jonouchi as he opened the front door, getting his left sneaker to give to his heel,
“you’re a terrible liar. Thanks for the food.”

Then he left. After the door latched shut, Kaiba was left in the settling silence of his apartment, his
fight mode slowly ebbing away into shock, realization, and a nearly sickening wave of regret that
he failed to keep at bay. He sat on the couch with his hands tightly clasped in his lap, staring at his
knees as he breathed.

He couldn’t handle the ache in his chest sitting up. He let himself fall on his side and lay with his
eyes closed as he tried to process.

He couldn’t, completely. He couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around what a spectacular
fuckup he’d made of himself. He couldn’t properly analyze anything Jonouchi had said because he
emotionally rejected replaying the conversation. All he could do for a long time was lie down and
try not to address the thought that he’d just ruined everything.

The worst thing was, he’d known better the whole way, and taken the option that he’d been taught
instead. Couldn’t risk other people knowing he had emotions, could he? And a proud person like
himself wasn’t going to beg someone to stay as they walked away from him. Even if he wanted to.
Even if he already knew he was going to regret not doing that for a long time to come.

Kaiba suddenly felt frustration well up in him so strongly he wanted to scream. Why did Jonouchi
care how he felt about him? And if he cared, why was it only now that he chose to do anything
about it? Why not before all this bullshit?

He sank back into brooding as he realized that was all moot at this point. Right now, he wasn’t
even sure he would see Jonouchi again. He didn’t know if he could see Jonouchi again. He’d
disgraced himself too thoroughly.

Kaiba didn’t know how long he spent lying with his face in the couch cushion, trying to cope with
the situation, but at some point he finally felt like opening his eyes. The first thing they fell on was
Jonouchi’s leftover food. Kaiba stared at it with varying degrees of concentration for a couple of
minutes before sitting up and grabbing the box.

‘Thanks for the food’ indeed. He hadn’t even finished it. Kaiba started eating it aggressively, under
the pretense that it would be wasted otherwise, and he actively silenced the voice inside him that
tried to remind him that he had his own unfinished food. He didn’t care. He wanted Jonouchi’s
leftovers.

TWO MONTHS FORWARD

Kaiba had picked Jonouchi up early in the morning, which didn’t bother Jonouchi much. Kaiba had
already had his coffee, so he could at least pretend that it wasn’t too early for him. As a result, the
two of them had a smooth and casual ride to Yugi’s hotel.

Or, they did, until Jonouchi received a call from Yugi about halfway there. Kaiba listened to catch
what he could of the conversation from one end as Jonouchi became more and more distressed,
but he had to concentrate on driving. He didn’t find out what had happened until Jonouchi hung up
the phone and pouted in obvious disappointment.

Yugi was cancelling at almost literally the last minute. It was no fault of his own--something had
happened at home, and he had to leave immediately. A road trip wasn’t on the agenda. Kaiba felt
bad for Jonouchi, knowing he was probably upset that he’d finally come so close to bringing that
plan to fruition only to have it disrupted.

That said, he wasn’t shy about trying to convince Jonouchi not to call the whole thing off. They
debated about it over the breakfast Kaiba treated them to in Yugi’s absence, reasoning that they
had already made the preparations of calling off work, packing--hell, Jonouchi had even found a
cat-sitter for Mio.

Kaiba’s biggest reason was that he didn’t want to pass up the opportunity that had been dropped
in his lap. He was only going on this trip on the first place because Jonouchi had asked, and he
planned to use the chance wisely. Maybe Jonouchi knew that on some level, because he was very
unsure. Evidently it was “kinda weird” to him for the two of them to go on a road trip together in
isolation. Kaiba was tempted to ask why it was weird with him, but wouldn’t have been with only
Yugi along, but he knew better.

After humming and hawing on Jonouchi’s part that receded as he ate, they decided to proceed
according to the flimsy plan and go on the trip anyway. Kaiba openly expressed his pleasure with
that decision, but reeled himself in when Jonouchi looked surprised and curious.

They got in the car after Kaiba paid the check. He assigned Jonouchi the navigator station as he
headed for the highway.

“Where do you want to go first?” he asked. “If you and Yugi ever made a decision on that, I wasn’t
informed.”

“Well, Yugi and I originally wanted to go see San Francisco. We thought about stopping at
Monterrey Bay to start,” Jonouchi blurted as he rang his hands in his lap, “I’ve already seen
Hollywood and Yugi wasn’t that interested.”

“Monterrey Bay it is,” Kaiba agreed, “I’m glad you decided against Hollywood. It’s not the first place
I want to be when I think vacation.”

“Why, not a fan of Paris Hilton?” joked Jonouchi. Kaiba didn’t laugh. “Someone over there might
mistake you for a movie star. You could be found.”

“No to all of that,” Kaiba frowned in distaste. “Besides, I think you would run more the risk of being
swept off into some production. No, Hollywood is a waste of time and I would never go there
without expecting something bad to happen.”

Jonouchi went silent after that, fidgeting in his seat. His eyes were stuck to the window, staring out
at the scenery as they began going past the dry semi-desert that surrounded them. Kaiba stole a
few looks, glancing at him, but couldn’t really stare like he probably would have if he wasn’t driving
on the road.

After a few more moments of silence passed, Kaiba inhaled a deep breath.

“Jonouchi,” he addressed. His tone probably only made Jonouchi more anxious. “I know you
wanted to go on this trip for a good time with friends. Even though we’re alone, we can still do that
if you want.”

“Okay,” Jonouchi answered, his voice just barely above a whisper, “but is that what you want? Or
are you just trying to make me less awkward?”

“I was also under the impression that we would be on this trip as friends,” Kaiba replied, only
slightly lying. But it seemed strange to add that he was planning to have a serious discussion
about their relationship while they were at it. “With the way the situation is... I think the trip would
be better all around if we weren’t both spending our time together wondering where we stand.”

Jonouchi crossed his arms, sitting back before he made a noise with his tongue as it hit the top of
his mouth. “Yeah, I hear you,” he answered, glancing before breaking eye contact again, “but I
don’t know where we stand, Kaiba. The lines are blurry. We both keep going back and forth. Like
the last time I saw you-”

He paused before shutting his mouth and sliding down his seat slightly. Jonouchi was so easily
embarrassed.

“I know what you mean,” Kaiba avoided sounding amused by Jonouchi’s behavior, “but I don’t
think that’s something to iron out while we’re cooped up in a car for most of the day, and
presumably sharing a hotel overnight. We can discuss it when... when it feels right, I guess.”

That was the only gauge Kaiba had for it. He did want to talk about it, preferably on this trip, but it
wouldn’t do any good to bring it up while Jonouchi was obviously dreading the conversation.

“Let’s just get it over with then,” Jonouchi answered, straightening up slightly as he sighed,
“there’s nothing else to do. It’ll at least pass the time, and you’ve never really seemed willing to talk
about this before. Not at least, as a discussion...”

Kaiba had shouted his feelings at Jonouchi once before, and it had been a terrible mistake. He
winced at the memory.

“I’m not always the best at handling delicate topics,” he admitted, trying to hide how embarrassed
he was at the memory, “but you know that as well as I do.”

He sighed, mainly to calm himself. He’d intended to be the initiator for this talk, but Jonouchi beat
him to the punch.

“As terrible a job as I did telling you before, I do care for you as much more than a friend,” he
stated, opting to go the blunt route. “I like being around you, and I like being... with you. I don’t
want to keep doing something in between friendship and romance. I need something committed
and exclusive, or things will be too difficult on my end.”

By difficult, he meant painful. But he wanted to attempt being sincere without making himself
sound too soft. Or worse, over-emotional. Although by now, Jonouchi might be fully aware that
Kaiba had quite a bit stewing under the surface most of the time.

“Committed and exclusive?” Jonouchi echoed. He blinked, finally looking at Kaiba’s face as his
eyes narrowed in mild confusion. “Is that your way of saying you actually want to date? As a real
couple? And no more of this half-assed not-actually-boyfriends shit?”

“To put it bluntly, yes. Exactly that,” Kaiba confirmed as he glanced Jonouchi’s way. “Yes, I want to
date.”

“What about women? Wouldn’t you rather invest in someone who could actually give you
something?” Jonouchi shook his head before making a snorting sound, “I mean, you said it
yourself. You’ve only looked at me before and no other man. That doesn’t sound really reassuring
on my end. You could get tired of this eventually, and I don’t want to be some grand experiment
for you that you laugh about years later, or worse, feel ashamed of.”

“I think I failed miserably at explaining myself when I said that,” Kaiba muttered, taken aback by
Jonouchi’s concern. “As far as I know, I’ve only thought of women as attractive romantically, at
least until I met you. But I never wanted any of them. You’ve been my first in... every regard. I’d
never done so much as hold someone’s hand before running into you again.

“So no, you aren’t an experiment,” he said as reassurance, looking Jonouchi’s way, “and in the
unlikely event that I was to feel this way about someone else in the future, I couldn’t predict
whether they’d be a man or a woman. Even if it was a woman, I don’t see what one could “give”
me that you can’t.”

“If you say so,” Jonouchi answered. Then he paused, wrinkling his nose a little bit. “What about
my exes?” he asked. “Are you finally over that part of my life?”

“Yes,” Kaiba rolled his eyes, paused, then smirked. “As long as you don’t start liking one of them
more than me.”

“And you know that I wasn’t going behind your back even before,” Jonouchi continued, sounding
serious despite Kaiba’s joking. “I had stopped for some time. It was never all that serious, and I
hadn’t even done that much. I mean honestly, the thought of anal sex freaked me out, let alone
sucking off a stranger...”

“Oh,” Kaiba blinked, surprised by the sensitive information. Normally Jonouchi wouldn’t even talk
about things they’d done, much less his preferences in general. “Well... I did know. I was too
stupid to put it together for a while, but I knew you weren’t with anyone else. And you did tell me
you hadn’t done as much with anyone as you did with me, but…”

He paused and stared out at the road, wondering if he should ask the question that nagged at his
mind. He decided against it.

“...I didn’t realize you were against the idea of anal sex.”

“Why, did I finally find a deal breaker with you?” laughed Jonouchi before he snorted a few times.
“I’m not so much against it as I am, I don’t know, hesitant to try it?” Jonouchi shrugged his
shoulders before sticking out his tongue. “It never really sounded all that pleasurable to me. I
figured I could do plenty of other super homo things without putting a dick up my butt.”

“That’s true,” Kaiba worked to stop his mind from wandering to those ‘super homo things’, and
likewise to stop his lips from curving into a self-satisfied smirk, but he only half-succeeded. “I’m not
complaining. It just seemed weird to me. But what do I know about it?”

He shrugged. He certainly wasn’t an authority on any kind of sex. He only knew what he’d heard
as common knowledge. But almost his entire existence defied common knowledge, not least
where sexuality was concerned, so he supposed he shouldn’t be so surprised at this point.

“Weird to you?” laughed Jonouchi. “What kind of things are you into that you haven’t bothered to
tell me?”

“Nothing that I know of,” Kaiba side-eyed Jonouchi, though he wasn’t trying very hard to lie. “Don’t
you worry yourself about it.”

“I’m not worried,” Jonouchi huffed. He went silent for a few seconds before turning to look at
Kaiba again, who was now fully focused on watching the road. “I know lots of men like it. I’ve been
asked more times than I’d like to admit to trying it with someone, on both ends of the spectrum... I
just, hmm... It just seems really embarrassing to me.”

He laughed a little bit nervously as Kaiba just snorted in response.

“I know that some gay men don’t like it at all, so I just assumed that maybe I fell into that corner of
the spectrum and I was okay with that, too.”

“If you’re not interested in it, that’s fine with me,” Kaiba hummed, “It’s not like I don’t have proof
that we can get along perfectly well without it…”

Jonouchi scoffed as his face turned pink.

“If I thought it could be fun, I might try it. But the embarrassment factor alone...”

Now his entire neckline was turning colors as well.

“Sometimes being embarrassed makes things more stimulating,” Kaiba suggested, turning to
Jonouchi briefly with a sly expression. “Besides, you’d be surprised how much less embarrassing
something is if you’re turned on. Or worst case scenario, in the dark. But I’d rather we didn’t have
sex like a bored married couple.”

“I don’t see that happening anytime soon,” Jonouchi said as he rolled his eyes. “I’m not a boring
person, so I don’t have boring sex.”

“I agree,” Kaiba smirked without reservation. Then he forcibly sobered and looked at Jonouchi
more sincerely. Jonouchi was still very pink, but at least he’d still talked. Maybe not having Kaiba’s
eyes on him had made him more willing. Kaiba would have to remember to try staring at him less
during delicate talks.

“All joking aside,” he prefaced, “I really do want a serious relationship with you. I don’t know what
you need out of one, but as far as I’m concerned… I like the way things have been, aside from the
elephant in the room.”

And Mokuba harassing him about not taking action yet. But that would end soon too, hopefully.

“Okay,” Jonouchi answered. “I guess that means we’re actually dating now. Imagine that?”

“I don’t have to anymore,” Kaiba replied with certainty. He smirked when Jonouchi flushed a
deeper red than before.

“Wow,” Jonouchi finally laughed, “maybe you’re much more gay than I first thought...”

Chapter Text

It was a five hour drive to Monterrey Bay, give or take. Kaiba selected a more upscale hotel on the beach for their one-day stop, and Jonouchi agreed, but refused to accompany Kaiba to the check-in. They’d already discussed whether to get a single or double room, and Jonouchi had grudgingly participated in that discussion (turning a deeper red the entire time), but he wasn’t about to be present while Kaiba booked it for them.

Kaiba would have been annoyed if he didn’t find it funny, and a little bit cute. For all his bombastic nature, Jonouchi got embarrassed easily about the strangest things. Who in this part of the world would care if two men were sharing a room?

One of the two men, evidently. Kaiba was only able to coax Jonouchi out of the car after he had the room and the keys in his pocket. They carried their bags upstairs, then settled in tiredly in unison. Kaiba was going to try to pretend he had energy to go out and do something touristy-like, but Jonouchi didn’t look like he was in the mood either. They silently settled on staying in the hotel for the evening.

That left the issue of food, though, and it was dinnertime. Kaiba was barely beginning to notice his hunger, but the way Jonouchi started eyeing him after a few minutes’ relaxation told him he was ready to eat--and Kaiba was expected to provide. Fair enough. It wasn’t like it was going to be hard.

Kaiba fished out a room service menu and gave it to Jonouchi, who was lying on the bed idly kicking his feet over the edge like a bored child. Kaiba returned to his chair and watched while Jonouchi deliberated.

“There aren’t that many choices on the menu,” he noted after enough time had passed for him to start feeling hungrier, “are you so hungry that you can’t decide?”

“No,” answered Jonouchi as he bit his lip. “There’s a lot of seafood options...I think I want the grilled salmon. That’s got to be somewhat decent, you think?”

“It’s hard to screw up grilled salmon,” Kaiba agreed, “I’m having the prime sirloin marinated in teriyaki with the hasselback potatoes and creamed kale...”

“You could have just said steak,” Jonouchi joked. “So fancy.”

He took the menu back from Jonouchi so he could look over the available wine list. It was mainly local, and therefore unrecognizable, but he was in the mood to take a risk. A small one, but an important one. After all, the non-sobriety of his evening depended on it.

Kaiba placed their orders over the phone while Jonouchi continued to grumble and roll around on the bed impatiently. It occurred to Kaiba that either Jonouchi was playing it up because he liked being fed by him, or he was hopelessly unable to function when he was hungry. Kaiba chose to believe it was the first one, mainly because he couldn’t imagine Jonouchi getting up to such antics with Yugi.

“They said it’ll be thirty minutes,” Kaiba reported, masking his amusement, “Will you survive until then?”

He leaned over far enough to poke Jonouchi in the ribs. He jumped a little, then sat up and scooted to the far side of the bed. Kaiba smirked and chuckled quietly.

“What?” Jonouchi blurted. “Why did you do that?”

He made a face before crossing his legs and holding them close to his chest. His eyes scanned around the room, settling to look out of the big french windows with the drapes, before he finally peered back at Kaiba.

“You can be so weird sometimes,” he said before snorting, “you don’t have to poke me in the ribs to get my attention, Kaiba.”

“What do I have to do?” Kaiba queried facetiously, crossing one leg over the other as a sign that he was being conversational. He was mainly joking, but a bigger part of him than he’d like to admit was curious. He supported his head with one hand, elbow resting on the arm of the chair.

“Just ask. Politely.”

“Be careful what you ask for,” Kaiba hummed, watching Jonouchi with an expression he knew wasn’t trustworthy in the least. Then he stood and relocated to the part of the bed Jonouchi had left empty, his feet hanging off the side, but his body facing Jonouchi.

“Jonouchi,” Kaiba began, his voice low, but almost pleading. He was sure that his eyes betrayed that he was trying not to laugh, though. Jonouchi didn’t look amused by his antics, especially when he started slowly crawling up the bed toward him. “Will you pay attention to me, please?”

“I’m paying attention right now,” laughed Jonouchi a little before he squinted his eyes. “What do you want?”

“Hmm,” Kaiba paused. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He sat beside Jonouchi, his back supported by pillows that had been propped against the headboard. He looked at Jonouchi, who was gazing back at him. After a couple seconds of eye contact, he glanced away. Kaiba reached down and toyed with a strand of Jonouchi’s bright hair, curling it around one finger before letting it fall back in place.

“What are you doing?” Jonouchi asked.

“Touching your hair,” Kaiba stated the obvious. He was pretty sure he was being asked about his intentions, but he wanted to avoid revealing that just now. “Should I have asked first?”

“No, I don’t care,” Jonouchi laughed. “I just want to know why you’re doing it. Usually you aren’t so affectionate. Something got into you all of a sudden?”

“Not necessarily,” Kaiba replied with a shrug. He paused and looked at his knees. “I like you. And I don’t have to keep it to myself anymore.”

“How much do you like me?” asked Jonouchi, coming closer as he dropped his chin into his hand, smirking a little in a manner that Kaiba could only interpret as flirtatious. “I feel like you don’t tell me much.”

“I don’t tell anyone much,” Kaiba replied earnestly, “It’s not personal. I try to say what’s important, at least.”

“That you like me,” Jonouchi answered, “and my hair...” He was beginning to break into small fits of laughter, hiding it into a pillow.

“And a few other things I might mention when you catch your breath,” Kaiba smirked, though he was feeling the first tingles of embarrassment himself.

Jonouchi straightened up at that, although he was still resting heavily into his hand. His eyes were shining and his interest appeared completely focused on whatever Kaiba had to say next.

“Uh,” Kaiba began lamely, surprised by the piqued attention. He was used to being in the spotlight, but not so used to being put on the spot. He tried not to hesitate too horribly, but as a result probably blurted the worst thing to start with. “I like your back.”

“Yeah, I know,” snorted Jonouchi as his face colored slightly, “what else?”

“I like your eyes,” Kaiba continued, figuring things couldn’t exactly go downhill, “I like the color. I like how expressive they are.”

He paused as he met Jonouchi’s gaze. Given the situation, Jonouchi predictably looked away. Kaiba snorted in amusement.

“I like the fact that you treat me like a normal person,” he noted. That was an important one. He could count the people who met that qualification on one hand. “And that you’re stubborn enough to make me budge. And... I like how honest you are, and that you show it when you’re excited or angry, or whatever you’re feeling…”

Kaiba felt like his monologue was getting out of hand. He spared Jonouchi another glance, and was met with the same attentive stare, though now the amusement had been replaced by something Kaiba couldn’t quite recognize. He cleared his throat.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” Jonouchi asked. His eyes were steady on Kaiba’s face, not wavering, until a knock came on the door. He got up first, opening to find a busboy and cart of food.

“The first course,” he announced, “the main entrees will be here shortly.”

When he disappeared, Jonouchi rushed the cart inside. He opened the trays, finding two large mixed green salads with a small dressing boat filled with lemon vinaigrette. It appeared like the house recipe. Excited, he brought it over to the bed, giving Kaiba’s portion over first before placing a generous bread basket between them and serving himself.

“This is really fancy for a hotel,” Jonouchi remarked. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting a meal like this. I’m impressed.”

“It’s not bad,” Kaiba agreed. He’d been in better, of course, but he definitely hadn’t chosen anything average or worse for their overnight stay. “I’m glad the food is good. It’s a waste of time to eat something you can’t even enjoy. Especially when it costs this much…”

“Is it a lot?” Jonouchi asked hesitantly. “You know, I wouldn’t mind helping sometimes even though I know you’re like, loaded beyond belief. It would at least make me feel less like I’m mooching off of you.”

“Oh, it’s not a problem,” Kaiba shook his head, “And as long as it’s honesty hour...admittedly, I like treating. It’s one of few ways I’m capable of expressing myself. I have the resources to do it, and I haven’t forgotten the value of money.”

They both topped off the first course fairly quickly, but only Jonouchi maintained the same pace all the way through the main entrees and dessert. Kaiba wasn’t even able to finish his plate by the time dessert rolled around, so he let Jonouchi take what was left when he asked.

After that, Jonouchi yawned and went to the bathroom to clean up for bed. Kaiba cleaned up in the meantime, leaving the dishes in a tray to be placed outside the door for room service to collect. He heard the shower running and tried not to think too much about it. Jonouchi probably wasn’t in the mood for anything, and he didn’t want to bring the barely-rectified situation tumbling down.

Then again, he didn’t know for sure, and he definitely wanted to do something. Would Jonouchi be offended if he tried? Would he feel tricked? That wasn’t the intention--Kaiba was hoping any sexual attempts on his part would come off more as romantic than badgering at this point, but he couldn’t be sure.

Kaiba grumbled as he sat down on the bed. Shouldn’t it be less of a problem to want sex now that they were officially dating? They’d been fooling around for a while now. Since everything was out in the open, Kaiba would think it wouldn’t be a transgression to at least ask if Jonouchi was interested.

But, maybe that wasn’t what he wanted from this trip. Even if he was on it with a boyfriend now. Kaiba felt weird thinking of himself as a boyfriend. He was willing to adapt to it, though.

He waited, reclining, for Jonouchi to finish his business in the bathroom. He eventually emerged with his lower half wrapped in a towel, his light hair darkened and heavy with dampness. It clung to his face and neck as he left the bathroom. Steam billowed out behind him.

Jonouchi gave him a smile as he went to dig through the suitcases, hopefully oblivious to Kaiba’s constant gaze. If he wasn’t, he was polite enough not to mention it. Neither of them spoke while Jonouchi picked out clean underwear and a shirt and returned to the bathroom to change.

He didn’t take long. He returned, stretching his arms over his head as he walked toward the bed. Their bed. Would Jonouchi have agreed to sharing a bed if he didn’t want anything to happen between them? Kaiba wasn’t sure. He couldn’t exactly come right out and ask, either. Jonouchi settled in beside him, stretching happily on top of the comforter.

“You look worried,” Jonouchi remarked as he turned onto his side and got under the sheets. Most of the lights were off now save the one lamp on Kaiba’s side. “What’s on your mind?”

“I’m not worried,” Kaiba lied deliberately, covering up whatever expression he’d had with neutrality. “I guess the drive was a bit tiring. It’s been an eventful day.”

“Really?” Jonouchi laughed. “You could have let me drive. I wouldn’t mind, and I promise I wouldn’t crash your car. When Yugi was still supposed to be coming, we had planned on taking turns.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Kaiba muttered, though his intention hadn’t been to take shifts. He couldn’t deny that he didn’t exactly enjoy driving long distances, though. Maybe he was spoiled from being driven by other people most of his life, or it was because until now he’d driven around his home city exclusively. Or, maybe it was natural not to want to drive for five or more straight hours. “It’s not too big a deal. I’m just not used to it. This is the first road trip I’ve ever been on, after all…”

“Really?” Jonouchi had such big eyes. Even in the dark, Kaiba could make them out. He wondered absentmindedly if he should not turn off the lamp beside him, or else they’d be completely covered in darkness.

“Maybe you’re just becoming an old man finally,” joked Jonouchi, “Your past is catching up with you, Kaiba.”

“Let’s hope not, or I won’t have the chance to become an old man,” Kaiba joked, but internally he felt a little cold. There were (very good) reasons why he deliberately laid his past to rest. Everything was about the future. Where could he go otherwise? “Don’t worry. You’re energetic enough for both of us. Maybe I’ll keep absorbing the enthusiasm that drips off of you all the time.”

Jonouchi was watching him intently while he talked, his body unusually still, but his eyes were lively as usual. Kaiba stared into them well after he’d finished speaking, at least until Jonouchi turned a bit pink and glanced away. He made a disgruntled noise to hide his embarrassment, but that made Kaiba chuckle.

“We’ve established that I like your eyes,” he teased, “among other things. Does it bother you when I look at you, or are you shy suddenly?”

“You’re too intense,” Jonouchi answered as his face twisted around, “I don’t like staring back. You already know that. Don’t point my weirdness out.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘weirdness’,” Kaiba replied, “it’s no weirder than me being intense, anyway.”

He met Jonouchi’s eyes again, though this time he reminded himself to blink to avoid a repeat performance.

“May I tell you a secret, Jonouchi?” inquired Kaiba as a sly smile came across his lips. “You must promise not to tell anyone.”

“Yeah, sure,” answered Jonouchi easily. “I wouldn’t tell anyone nothing.”

Kaiba snorted. “I’m glad Yugi didn’t come along with us,” he admitted, his smirk growing as Jonouchi’s previous blush returned, becoming dark around his eyes and neck, “I’m glad this has become just about us two. While I can’t take credit for his grandfather’s medical emergency, nor am I pleased to hear he’s sick again,” mentioned Kaiba with a sigh, “I’m not upset to have you to myself again. Can you blame me?”

“Uh...I get where you’re coming from, if that’s what you’re asking,” Jonouchi replied in a half-mumble. “I’m glad we were able to hash things out, and I mean...I like spending time with you. It’s different with other people.”

He pulled at his blond hair briefly, looking as if he was having trouble finding his words--or debating whether to use them. He apparently settled for turning his gaze on Kaiba again, his face still reddened and eyes a bit wide.

“What made you want to tell me that, exactly?” he queried. “Seemed kind of out of the blue…”

“I’ve just been thinking,” said Kaiba as he rolled onto his back. Looking over at Jonouchi, his face became more serious. “I’ve been thinking a lot, actually, about us. May I tell you another secret?”

“You may as well,” Jonouchi laughed, looking slightly mischievous despite his embarrassment. “Can’t have me up all night wondering about it, right?”

Kaiba rolled his eyes. “I’d like you up all night, but not about that,” he muttered under his breath. Jonouchi raised his eyes slightly as if he’d misheard, but Kaiba grabbed his arm and pulled him close, until his lips were right along Jonouchi’s scarlet red ear.

“I’ve thought about having sex with you all night,” Kaiba whispered, his voice sultry in Jonouchi’s ear. He fidgeted, but Kaiba’s grip was firm enough that he didn’t think about trying to move away. Nor did he really want to. “I’ve thought about the things we could do together if you’d let me. I’d like to try, if you’re not too afraid...”

Jonouchi’s face twisted up again. His blood ran boiling hot along his face, but before he could answer Kaiba’s proposal, he felt teeth against his earlobe, tugging him slightly before Jonouchi finally smacked him lightly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” continued Kaiba, his face appearing slightly amused as he chuckled, “I’d just like us to move forward. Wouldn’t that be the logical next step?”

“Are you really gonna make me answer that?” Jonouchi grumbled, flicking Kaiba’s forehead. “You know I like you. We’ve done a lot of shit in the past. You don’t have to keep playing with me until I say it in so many words.”

“I’m not playing with you,” Kaiba sighed. “I have to ask. You said it yourself, you’ve never really thought about... going all the way. With another man. And if you still don’t, that’s perfectly fine. It’s your choice. I just think it might be something we could both enjoy...”

Jonouchi was more thoughtful than indignant this time, and toyed with the sheets pensively for a while before he replied. He continued to watch his own hands as he talked.

“I’ve thought about it,” he admitted, “more recently, I guess. I dunno. It seems weird and I never wanted to try it with just... random people. I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the idea.”

He paused again, his eyes turning to the ceiling as he thought.

“I guess at this point… I’m less afraid to try it and more afraid of what would happen if something went wrong.”

“If something went wrong?” Kaiba echoed with a small laugh. “Jonouchi, no one is going to try and break you. It’s supposed to be fun, so I’m told. Do you trust me?”

Jonouchi turned to him with his brows raised, as if he was surprised by the question, but he answered directly.

“Of course I do,” he stated, “I mean, the worst you’ve done is confuse me and get on my nerves. I know I can depend on you.”

Kaiba rolled his eyes a little bit before smiling. “Good. And you think I’m sexy to you, right?” he asked, moving closer again to Jonouchi’s side before putting on arm on his hip, as if steadying him. “You want to have sex with me, correct?”

“Oh my god,” Jonouchi groaned under his breath, one hand covering his face but still failing to hide the small, embarrassed smile on his face. “I would have sex with you if you asked, yes.”

“Not because you want to?” Kaiba stared down directly into Jonouchi’s eyes, no more amusement across his features. “Do you want me because I want you or do you want me because you want me?”

Jonouchi met his gaze, still blushing but quickly turning equally serious--if a bit less aggressive.

“I want to have sex with you,” he stated bluntly, “why else would I be sharing this bed with you?”

“Because you don’t like sleeping alone,” answered Kaiba. “We’ve shared a bed and done nothing together before. I never assume anything. Especially concerning you, doing that would only get me into trouble...”

“Hmm, see that’s one of your attractive qualities--you’re a quick learner,” Jonouchi teased, “Yeah, I don’t like sleeping alone. But I also know it’s really convenient when my cuddle buddy is up for a lot more.”

“Are you in love with me?” Kaiba blurted out without an ounce of tact. Jonouchi was predictably alarmed and at a loss for words at first. Then his shock slowly transitioned into a grin and barely-contained laughter. His face flushed deeper than it had all night.

“Are you asking that because you want us to be in love before we have sex?” he asked, laughing, his gaze averted. Then he turned his eyes up to Kaiba’s, meeting the stare that hadn’t left him as he caught his breath.

Jonouchi looked thoughtfully back for a few moments, breathing and blinking. Then another uncharacteristically small smile crossed his face seemingly against his will, and he looked away.

“Yeah,” he answered breathily before laughing again. He met Kaiba’s gaze boldly, grinning. “Yes, I’m in love with you.”

“Then is there anything else I should ask while you are still giving out honest answers,” Kaiba asked. “You might change your mind about this new venture of yours by morning when you feel all self-conscious again,” Kaiba teased.

He certainly hoped not. As stupid and romantic as it was, Kaiba did want them both to be in love before they went any further. It was just a desire he had. He didn’t quite know when the idea first came into his head (maybe when he was very little and still naive) but it hadn’t ever gone away. Maybe some people didn’t care about romanticism, but Kaiba did. He couldn’t stop himself from caring…

“I’m not a girl who’s gonna run off when I realize I’ve lost my innocence,” Jonouchi said as he rolled his eyes, “Besides. You know me. If you want to keep me around in the morning, order breakfast.”

“That’s a solid plan,” Kaiba agreed, “I’ll be sure to remember that.”

Jonouchi smiled at him, but didn’t respond--which was just as well, because Kaiba seized the moment and kissed him. It felt like a release almost, after the conversation. But, while it was like pulling teeth getting any intimate answers from Jonouchi, it was far easier getting him to reciprocate physically.

Almost as soon as their lips had met, Kaiba felt Jonouchi’s hand on his shoulder, and another weaving into his hair, pulling him closer. Kaiba obliged and laid on top of Jonouchi, one hand already slipping under his loose t-shirt. His skin was still overheated from all the embarrassment, but the breathless gasps between kisses gave the impression that another cause was present.

Kaiba broke away so he could sit on his heels, looking down at Jonouchi in the low light. Jonouchi squirmed a little, but closed his eyes and forgot his discomfort as Kaiba deliberately slid his hands under his shirt, over his waist and ribcage to his chest.

Jonouchi seemed ready to raise his arms and take the shirt off, but Kaiba bent to kiss his sternum instead. He continued to trail kisses down the center of his body, his hands following close behind at either side. Jonouchi’s breathing was less even the lower he went, and there was visible strain in the muscles of his stomach when Kaiba hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of his shorts and tugged.

"What are you doing?" Jonouchi asked, his voice tense as he tried to make himself laugh.

"Taking off your pants, of course." Kaiba looked up and smirked again. "No reason to be concerned. Promise."

Jonouchi snorted but did as he was told. His body went limp as he closed his eyes. Kaiba continued his trail, pulling back the sheets before stroking along Jonouchi's muscular inner thighs. If he thought too much about what he was going to do, Kaiba knew he'd freeze. It wasn't something he'd ever considered doing, especially to another man. There was something about the idea that had always turned him off, but at that moment, it seemed like the best idea…

Hadn't Jonouchi done the same for him?

It was like music. Jonouchi let out a half-choked cry at first, his breathing caught in his throat before he finally sighed. He seemed as if he was trying desperately to restrain himself, his heels digging into the mattress as Kaiba became less tentative. The smell was musky, yet, not bothersome. Kaiba knew the scent; it was familiar, and strangely stirring. He could feel himself becoming hard just from the sounds and smells surrounding him, especially when Jonouchi could no longer stop himself from moaning aloud. It was lifting. As much as Kaiba might have argued with himself about giving another man oral, there was something powerful about putting Jonouchi into a fit of pleasure.

Kaiba only stopped when he could feel his mouth begin to feel sore. Pulling away, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, looking down as Jonouchi laid splayed out beneath him.
He was completely out of breath. In the low light, Kaiba could make out the perspiration on his skin, the soft glow as his chest kept rising and falling sharply, eyelashes fluttering before finally opening.

"You were about to go too far," Jonouchi spoke, his voice quiet as he tried and failed to fix his wild, moistened hair.

"You enjoyed yourself," Kaiba answered with a shrug. "My mouth was starting to hurt."

"Was that why you stopped?" Jonouchi asked, laughing a little before closing his eyes. "I don't blame you."

"It was the only reason."

Moving closer, Kaiba pulled back the blankets until he was lying right between Jonouchi's open thighs, his erection pressing hard against his sweaty body. His forehead was moist, and Kaiba could feel hair clinging there. Jonouchi's eyes were dark and deep, the pupils clearly dilated despite the lack of light.

"You look nice," Kaiba marveled. He leaned down into Jonouchi, using a hand on his hip again to steady himself. Looking away, Jonouchi opened his eyes again when he felt lips against his throat, breath catching when he felt teeth rake against his skin. His thighs held to Kaiba's hips, and he pulled back into the pillow before rising up to kiss Kaiba back, tugging on his lips with his own teeth before using a hand to signal Kaiba to stop.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jonouchi spoke. "I just-"

He hesitated. Kaiba swallowed. If he looked nervous, he wasn't trying to. He could feel anxiety begin to grow in his chest, afraid suddenly that maybe Jonouchi changed his mind. Maybe he'd done something terribly wrong-

"-I think I want to give it a try."

Kaiba blinked. "Give what a try?"

"You know," Jonouchi mumbled, his face burning up.

"No, I don't know." Kaiba blinked again. "Try what?"

Jonouchi's eyes grew before he bit his lip and inhaled noticeably. "Grab my pants."

What? Kaiba hesitated for a moment, but he did as he was told. He got the jeans and gave it to Jonouchi, who dug into his pockets before pulling out something that looked like a blue wrapper. It was a condom.

"I have lubricant in my suitcase," Jonouchi blurted. "I thought about this before… Even before you brought it up today. I'd like us to try it. Together."

"You can say it," Kaiba laughed, "it won't kill you."

"No, I won't," Jonouchi argued.

"Yes, you can."

Kaiba leaned down and began kissing Jonouchi's throat again, grabbing the condom from his hands. "You want to have anal sex with me. Just say it."

"I'm not gonna say it!" Jonouchi yelled, his body squirming as his face fought back a smile. "It sounds so stupid, especially if I say it."

"You want anal sex with me and you're embarrassed," continued Kaiba, "say it. Jonouchi wants-"

"I want to have anal sex with you!" Jonouchi blurted loudly before shoving Kaiba back with both his hands. Jonouchi was failing to appear angry, his face strained as he fought against smiling.

"Just go grab the lubricant before I change my mind!"

Kaiba had no experience in this, but Jonouchi didn't seemed concerned nor did he complain.

The lubricant made it easy; a finger slipped in easily, two without much trouble. The pace was slow and Jonouchi wasn't shy at all about pleasuring himself until his face relaxed from tension into something like bliss, his moans hitching until they turned into something more akin to cries.
By the time he was grabbing the sheets, Jonouchi was no longer using masturbation to get into it. Kaiba tested cautiously, trying different angles and depths until he felt confident in what Jonouchi liked. The sheets were scattered, and looking down upon Jonouchi's exposed naked body, Kaiba noticed just how aroused he was. There wasn't much more he'd take without finally reaching climax.

It was the part Kaiba was most nervous about, yet his genitals apparently didn't register his anxiety. He was fully erected, almost painfully so, and using the lubricant for himself, Kaiba applied it generously as Jonouchi lifted his knees higher.

Kaiba used one hand on himself while holding onto Jonouchi, using him as an anchor before finally pushing in. He let out a shaky breath, Jonouchi sucking in hard as they both stopped to catch their breath. Everything was hot, and Kaiba could feel pressure all around him. The wetness of the lubricant made for a slick connection, and as soon as he pulled his hips away, he immediately rocked back in, Jonouchi grabbing onto him before they both found themselves in a sloppy lip lock.

It didn't last for long. Jonouchi held onto him tightly, pulling Kaiba close with his hands and legs, fingers curled in his thick dark hair. Kaiba couldn't have cared even if it had pained him; he was hardly in control of himself. Desire took over once his lust was fed, and Jonouchi vocally begged for more. The bedframe began to keep time with Jonouchi's noisy cries, and soon Kaiba couldn't even make out his own. He felt his testicles swelling and the head of his dick expanding; an overwhelming rush fell over him as he finally orgasmed.

Jonouchi was already finished. At what point he'd climaxed, Kaiba wasn't entirely sure. He just felt sticky, and weak. His shoulders had trembled violently before giving in, and thankfully Jonouchi hadn't become mad from almost being crushed.

"Could you do that again?" Jonouchi sighed before breaking out laughing. Kaiba felt a little giddy himself. He could hardly believe what they'd done together…

"I don't think so…" He fixed his hair, pulling away before collapsing on the other side of the mattress. "Not for a little while."

Jonouchi got up. He looked down at Kaiba, his eyes half-lidded and a lazy smile on his face.

"I really liked it."

Kaiba snorted. "That's a relief to hear."

"I have a greater appreciation for your genitalia now more than ever."

Kaiba chuckled. Jonouchi laughed as he laid down against Kaiba's chest. He didn't seem to care about the mess. Kaiba wanted to, but he was too tired. It would wait.

He rested both hands on Jonouchi's back, closing his eyes. "I'm tired."

"Me too. But I want to let you in on a secret."

Kaiba tilted his head. "Yes?"

"That night I let you come back to my apartment after our fight… Well, I don't think you knew this, but what you said while you thought I was asleep… I heard all of it."

"Oh."

Jonouchi didn't speak again. His head rested underneath Kaiba's chin, hair sticking to his skin.
His scent was comforting, and even the light little snores were welcomed. Kaiba thought about everything; he didn't remember closing his eyes.

"I just wanted to make sure you knew," Jonouchi said in the darkness, "that I felt the same way, too. I just was too afraid to tell you.

"In case you were wondering."

"I was."

Jonouchi smiled in response. Although Kaiba couldn't see it, he could feel it. The night weighted heavily on him and yet, he could feel his entire body rise up just from Jonouchi's words. All the confusion and anger and fear. They had both been feeling it. Kaiba wasn't just holding onto hope. The sense of peace washed over him as a gentle wave as he closed his eyes and failed to fight back his own smile.

He had been right.

Jonouchi had loved him.

And now, he had someplace to call home.

One Month Previously

By the time he reached home, Jonouchi could feel tears streaking down his face. He felt like a stupid teenager again. It had been awhile since the last time he'd cried. His fortitude held up well at the beginning, when he stood outside Kaiba's apartment building and took the cab ride home, but once he began climbing up the stairs to his flat, he could begin to taste salt on his
lips.

He couldn't believe Kaiba. Jonouchi knew he was proud, but he never thought he was a liar. Maybe directly accusing him of being in love with him wasn't the best idea, but Jonouchi knew he was right. His gut told him so. There was no other explanation.

Thinking about it just hurt. Washing his face and brushing his teeth, Jonouchi decided to not let it stop his night. Why hide inside hurting over it when he could go have fun?

There was a halfway decent gay bar near his garbage; it was discreet. They didn't allow just anyone inside, and getting past the bouncer, Jonouchi took off his leather jacket and waved over the bartender as he stared at the counter.

He didn't even feel like having sex. Any attempts would be half-hearted, and Jonouchi wasn't sure he wanted to be the vehicle for some stranger to get off on. What kind of person would that make him, anyways? A real actual whore?

"You look a little under the weather."

Turning his head, Jonouchi finally noticed the man sitting next to him at the counter.

"Yeah," Jonouchi answered, "just a little bit."

"I'm sure it's nothing some Jack can't fix."

The man ordered a few shots. Jonouchi didn't think twice; he was thankful for the liquid distraction. His senses blurred and he could feel numbness sweeping over him.

Looking at his savior, the first thing Jonouchi noticed was his eyes. They weren't blue but brown. It made his face crinkle. For some reason, Jonouchi wasn't expecting that. His face was sharp and fine-featured, with good skin and nice, dark hair. It fell just above his eyes, and Jonouchi had to blink twice to make sure he knew who he was looking at.

"You want to leave this place?" asked the man.

Jonouchi blinked. "Yeah, sure. Just lead the way."

He couldn't remember how he got into an alleyway. The man from the bar was sucking on his throat. The hands on his ass weren't familiar; they felt funny, in a probing kind of way he didn't like. Not once did the stranger look Jonouchi in the eyes or even thought to kiss him in the mouth, and feeling hands on his crotch suddenly, Jonouchi violently pulled away.

"I can't do this."

The stranger took a step back, readjusting his hair. "You can't do this?"

"Can't do this, man. This was a terrible idea."

The strange man tried to grab Jonouchi's arm in protest, but Jonouchi was quick. He had no desire to get into a fight while intoxicated, so he used his second best defense; he ran the entire way back home.

Slamming the door inside once safe in the confines of his apartment, Jonouchi collapsed onto his couch. The cat was nowhere to be seen, probably startled from Jonouchi's outburst. Fumbling around his pockets, Jonouchi found himself taken over by a sudden urge.

He needed to call him.

Not Kaiba, though. He wouldn't call him while drunk. Jonouchi was too proud for that. Sure, he knew Kaiba would probably forgive him later, but Jonouchi wouldn't ever forgive himself.

No. He'd call Yugi.

"Moshi moshi, this is the Mutou residence-"

"-Yugi!" Jonouchi interrupted, not even waiting for Yugi to realize who was speaking to him so ungodly early in the morning, "I don't know what to do. I think I fucked up. I mean, it was Kaiba's fault, but…"

He paused, thinking the events of the last few months all over in his head.

"Jonouchi-kun, what exactly are you talking about?"

"Uh- well…"

Yugi knew a lot, thankfully. Jonouchi had never been good at hiding secrets. Since the time Kaiba arrived at the bar and Jonouchi had mistaken him for a potential hook up, he'd told Yugi everything. Yugi had already known for some time that Jonouchi wasn't exactly just hooking up with girls, either, and honestly, no one was surprised by Kaiba's own queerness. Yugi accepted all of it without much excitement and was only really interested in how Jonouchi was faring with it all.

He had been supportive. Approving, even.

Jonouchi left no details out. He spilled everything; the fight at the bar and Kaiba's ugly remarks afterwards. Going to his apartment hoping to make up, only to get into another fight.
And then Jonouchi's particular moment of shame: trying to hook up at a bar immediately after.

"You can't hate yourself, Jonouchi-kun. Everyone makes mistakes. You got to forgive yourself."

"Do I really though?" remarked Jonouchi as he shook his head repeatedly. "I did the exact thing he accused me of doing. Did he have a reason to not trust me? Apparently he did, because I showed him right. How am I even supposed to face him now?"

He hated himself. It wasn't the kind of dull hate from years of bad self-confidence and hanging out around the wrong crowd, being influenced by bad people. No, it was a sharp, jolting kind of hate. A hate that came from doing something so self-destructively stupid, and Jonouchi had no one to blame his idea on but himself.

"Why did you go to the bar, Jonouchi-kun?" asked Yugi. His calm voice broke through the running curses in Jonouchi's head.

"I don't know," Jonouchi admitted. "I really don't know just what I was thinking. I was so upset and I needed to go do something. I couldn't handle the feeling." He paused before wiping his eyes. The back of his hand was warm and moist. "I accused Kaiba of being in love with me and he lied about it."

"What do you mean?" Yugi remarked, "What exactly did he say?"

"He said he didn't! I know he's lying. Lying right in my face, too. Isn't that fucked up?"

Yugi sighed on the other end of the line. "Well, Jonouchi, Kaiba might have lied, and he was wrong for doing so… but you put him on the spot. Someone like Kaiba, especially Kaiba, will go defensive if you just attack him from left field. You know that."

"Yeah, but still. I wasn't wrong for asking." Maybe he was, but Jonouchi knew his gut instincts were right. "Even if I did come at him wrong, he had no reason to lie!"

Sniffling, Jonouchi went into his bathroom before blowing his nose loudly. The cat appeared, sitting by the door just staring with big orange eyes.

"… What if Kaiba's not lying? What if he doesn't love me?" The insidious thought crept through Jonouchi's mind, suddenly appearing in every action and memory he could recall despite the haze of alcohol in his system. "I thought he did. He acted like he did. We both know how Kaiba is with people he actually cares about. I thought… I really thought…"

"You thought you had that with him?" Yugi suggested.

"Yes! I knew I did. I was sure of it. Everything was going so well…

"I don't know, though. Kaiba's never really been that open to me about himself though. Not as much as he could be."

"Jonouchi," Yugi gently interrupted, "He's a very private person. You can't expect everyone to be like you."

"Yeah, but he's like all the other business guys. The ones from back home. You know the type, I've told you about it before. They like to go on their dates and get whatever sex they can, but they got a wife back at home, and kids! As soon as they go back, they don't even give you so much as a text goodbye."

"What would make you think that Kaiba could possibly be one of them?" Yugi chuckled.
"Besides, he's certainly not married…"

"I know that," Jonouchi hissed into the phone. "There's nothing stopping him from just leaving California, though. He could just take off the next day and never say a word to me again."

It was a scary thought. Uncertainty. It crept over silently but grabbed hold with a steely grip, knocking the breath from Jonouchi's lungs.

"I did to myself, though. I came on to him first. I led the entire thing on…"

"Jonouchi," Yugi stressed, his irritation finally appearing through his tone, "You're being ridiculous. Maybe you should get some sleep and call me in the morning."

"Yugi, I'm not being ridiculous! I have no one to blame this on but myself." Jonouchi sunk his fingers into his hair, pulling hard before letting out a groan. "I wanted him. I got his attention, and made damn sure to keep it. I knew how he felt, but I didn't stop. I liked it. I thought I might eventually grow bored, or maybe lose interest, but I didn't. I managed to get so tangled in him…

"I have had an attraction to him since high school, Yugi! Isn't that just a little pathetic?" Jonouchi chuckled darkly. "I hate admitting it, but it's true. I think part of the reason why I hated him so damn much in high school was because I couldn't stop thinking about him all the time and I didn't even know why. Isn't that sad?"

"I don't think so," Yugi offered.

"Well, I do. I pretended to feel one way about him for years, and it worked. Then he comes back, acts all nice to me. It was like high school smacking me right in the face again." Sighing, Jonouchi crumpled over the bathroom counter, daring not to look at himself in the mirror. Mio rubbed against his legs, crying for attention, but Jonouchi didn't even register the noise.

"He doesn't hate me for being a dueling failure anymore, but he'll certainly hate me for being a romantic mistake, now won't he?"

"Jonouchi," Yugi replied, sounding very strained as Jonouchi started trying to dry his eyes again,
"You're wrong. You and Kaiba-kun are friends. Close friends. Closer friends with him than I'll probably ever be. I'm actually kind of jealous," Yugi admitted. "While I'm not interested in men like you are, I've wanted to really know Kaiba for a long time. To be his friend. I could just barely manage that, Jonouchi, yet look at everything you've been able to do. You're the only person he talks to, or spends any time with. Or even cares about, outside his brother.

"Yes, he's probably mad at you right now. That's not unrealistic. But Jonouchi, he's not immune to feelings. You said you thought he was in love with you. If you think that, Jonouchi-kun, well, I don't doubt it then. From everything you've been telling me, that's all I can describe his actions towards you as.

"So stop doubting him. And yourself."

"... Okay."

"Are you going to try and sleep now, Jonouchi?"

"Yes," he agreed. "I think I'll try."

Once the threat of tears were gone, Jonouchi said his goodbyes and hung up the phone.
At first, he felt very stupid. Then depressed. But once he laid on his makeshift bed, the cat sitting on his legs and smelling the familiar scent of Kaiba's cologne on his bundle of blankets, Jonouchi immediately relaxed.

Kaiba wasn't the only problem. Jonouchi had been lying to himself too.

It gripped him suddenly, the realization.

-I think I'm in love with Kaiba…

FIN