Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a normal ass day and I was trying on an oversized Deftones t shit at Hot Topic, while Cherry Waves blasted loudly through the store speakers.

"The waaaaaves..... SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK!!!!!!!111!11" wailed Chino Moreno's enigmatic voice.

Suddenly, Bella, gorgeous beautiful Bella Swan spoke to me from the adjacent dressing room.

“Ventana… so, you know I’m moving to Fork with dad soon”, she whispered, shimmying into a Norman Fucking Rockwell tee she had grabbed earlier.

“Yeah...” I replied in a devastated tone, knowing this meant I was probably never going to see Bella again.

“Would you-“ she paused for a moment as she growled and struggled to squeeze into some tight skinny jeans. “FUCK- Well I was wondering..." she said "Would you like to come... with me?” She asked, pressing her ear against the wall of the dressing room.

Holy fucking shit!

“Hm, you just want a ride to the airport, don't you?”, I teased, masking my excitement.

Bella clicked her tongue. “You got me..." she teased back.

I’m fucking shaking, god I love (platonic) that woman so much.

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Anyway, the next morning the clock started screaming so I threw it across the room. I turned around and slept angrily for the next few hours before waking up again.

I stepped into my fluffy black decapitated bunny head slippers that I got at Hor Topic, which had long red chiffon on the soles that looked like long trails of blood. I stomped my way to the bathroom and threw my oversized black Saturday Night Wrist album cover t shit into a corner of the room and headed straight for the sink.

But then, when I looked into the mirror… I fucking screamed.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!” I shiuted, getting close enough to the mirror to make out with it. I was breaking out BAD. Why the fuck? And right before my trip to Fork with Bella? Fucking shit. I brushed my teet and ran back into my room, slamming the door behind me.

I opened the heavy door of my makeup bag and started rummaging ferally, throwing tubes and bottles everywhere. “Concealer concealer concealer” I chanted as my body slumped down the side of my bed. Suddenly I had an idea and ran back into the bathroom as fast as I could, plucking my old box of Edgy Patches Edgy Bitches from the medicine cabinet. I knew I still had this shit. I mean it’s a little old but it should do the trick. I pulled out a few skin-safe pentagram shaped stickers and placed them on the profaned and defiled areas of my face.
Well, crisis averted. Thank fuck.

I smirked with smug satisfaction and went back into my room before opening the zipper to my walk in closet. I stepped inside and put on some long black ripped stockings that I tore with my teeth, then I slipped on a massive Ultraviolence t shit that I borrowed from Bella like 6 years ago, and some chunky black steel-toed work boots that used to belong to my mother (she was a contrition worker).

I put the steak knife I keep under my pillow inside my pocket and put everything else from the closet into my luggage, which I subsequently hurled out the window and into the bed of my Antimatter Blue Ford F-450 Super Duty IV Crew Cab 6.7d V8 (450 Hp) Automatic LWB (which also used to be my mom’s).

I drove over to Bella’s house and almost ran over her loser fucking mom, who was drinking jägerbombs and making out with some guy with a fuckass cowboy hat in the middle of the street. Typical Renée fucking Dwyer, I guess.

When I got to Bella’s house, she was standing there the front lawn in a pink strawberry drss, cherry red beret and heart shaped sunglasses, holding her coquettish white lace suitcases. “Cute pentagrams”, she whispered as she threw her bags into the bed of my truck and we fucking went to the air pot.

When we arrived, we got off and came and ran furiously inside with our bags, subsequently throwing them on the conveyor belt like olympic athletes, and then running to securtitty. They stopped us because they saw the steak knife in my pocket through the x rays, but I told them a woman would never use it to commit misdeeds, and they were like “I mean, ok”, so we ran into the plane and flute away.

Bella and I walked down the aisle (sigh…) of the plane until we reached our seats. I playfully gaslit Bella into letting me have the window seat, because I hadn’t been on a plane since my parents moved to Califona, and besides she was gonna be studying her fucking Latin textbook anyway. I sighed sorrowfully, staring out the window at the city that raised me as it disappeared below a cloud that looked just like

“Well, wake me up when we get there”, I yawned as I draped my hair over my face.

"Yeah", Bella said.
“Anyway, so where was I…” She whispered. “Oh yeah, lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna!” she read aloud from her Latin textbook.

“HUH?”, I jolted awake.
Suddenly, MY FACE STARTED BURNING.
“WHAT THE FUCK???!!?!!” I screamed, running full speed to the bathroom. I punched a teenager out of the way before I desperately shuffled inside. I straddled the sink and grabbed the sides of the mirror as I looked at my reflection. The pentagrabs I had stuck to my face were glowing red!!1!

“WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING”, I screamed.
Suddenly I saw a figure in the mirror, too abstract to properly make out, but I knew it was some sort of person creature thing. The figure turned around to face me, revealing two white hot burning eyes that stared directly into my soul, and two pointy- horns? No, ears… Pointy ears on top of its head.

“Heh heh… Hell is right.”

“What?”

“Meow meow… We found one, boays", the figure said in a bone-chillingly shrill voice.

"Who-" I stuttered “Who the fuck are you?"

“Well” the figure said, getting closer. I’m like if that sinking feeling was a girl... uwu"

That sinking feeling?

"My lore is so surreal... so sinister... so ethereal... you wouldn't understand... nya"

She was right, I didn't understand, but I had a bad feeling about this.

Leaning in even closer, the figure spoke again.
“Alright bitch… Are you based?" she demanded.

I was petrified. What the fuck do I even say to that?

She looked slightly towards the side, as if talking to someone just out of view.
"Chat… is she based?
Is she based or cringe?
Tell me… Tell me now, nya!”

There was a long silence, followed by a cascading rush of tiny vocalizations. “Meow meow.” “Mow mow… Mow.” “Mmrrow.” “Nya!” “Meow.” “Mow mow.” “Mama maow” “Mow mow”

“Nya… Do you think we can get away with using this silly goofy binko bonko?”, the figure replied thoughtfully, before she continued, placing her fingers on her cheeks. “I mean it’s not like She's keeping that form for long anyway uwu!”

"WHAT?!" I screamed, feeling my mind slowly giving way like a steaming hot loaf of… Hot, HOT bread… From Romano’s… Doused in that… Hot… Olive oil. I’m so fucking hungry… And hot. WAIT.
"WHAT? I don’t understand!”

"That must be super fucking hard for you, spoinko boinko", the figure squeaked.
"Don't worry, it'll be over soon.
Okay, please stay still while I plant… THE SEED”.

“THE- the WHAT?”

The figure held something in her fingers, and before I knew it, those pointy little appendages were jammed straight down my throat!!!

I GAGGED and SCREAMED before smashing my head into the mirror and breaking it into a million pieces.

“Nighty night… nya”, a voice echoed in the void.

I- I just…

I don’t know anymore…

I-

Oh...

Holy fuck this carpet is so comfy…

Oh my god…

Ooooooohhhgghh…

“Wake me up… wake me up inside… when the… when… when we get there…”, I yawned, before my head slumped back and I fell into a deep sleep.

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Suddenly, I jolted awake.

“What the hell?” I was crumpled up and pretzelized on a bed in some little ass room I’d never seen before. Well that was a weird dream… And holy fuck I feel like I deep throated a cactus. What’s up with that? Probably nothing. Anyway, I stood up and stomped towards the window. I saw my face in the reflection… it didn’t have the pentagrams anymore… weird.

I adjusted my eyes and looked outside at the rain falling on the red Chevy pickup truck parked in the driveway.

Hmm.

It was a wet ass day in Fork.

Chapter Text

Suddenly, someone burst through the door.
I turned around quickly, my hair flying all over my face.
It was Bella.

She was wearing a tight white Lust For Life t-shit, a plaid green skirt and white converse shoes. She daisues spread around her hair and the thinnest fucking eyeliner you’ve ever seen.

“What- what the hell was that?? Back on the plane???” she demanded, shaking her head and blinking her eyes erratically while expelling short breaths.

I turned my head away, unsure of what to say.
Yesterday’s events were a bit blurry, especially after Bella spoak latin and then the... the... Hmm.
“I-“

There was silence.

“Well… if that’s the way you’re gonna be-”, she huffed passive aggressively, tucking her hair behind her ears and storming out of the room. She rushed down the stairs. A few seconds later I heard someone rushing back up the stairs. It was Bella on all fours.

“There’s breakfast downstairs”, she said,
“You should come.” She said shaking her head before scurrying down the stairs.

“Yeah”, I said.

I decided to put on a massive Koi No Yokan shirt and ripped leather pants and humongous combat boots with spikes on them, that made me look very sexy and alternative, unlike the other girls I’m sure went to skewl at Fork. Then I came.

I poured myself a bowl of Horny Bitches of Hoes with milk and sat down on the small table at the breakfast nook, which had windows overlooking the street outside. I decided to sit on one of the chairs a few seconds later, so I could face Bella. I watched her. She squeezed and shook a halfway empty bottle of syrup over her pancakes. I noticed they were made with a Salutations Feline mold, which reminded me of sometning, but I didn’t know how to feel about that, so I sexily ate a spoonful of my cereal in silence.

Suddenly I heard a sound like a heavy brick being dragged across the floor. I looked, but it was just a middle aged man sliding across the kitchen stiffly with his arms stretched out by his sides, which he did until he arrived at the table.

“Bella”, he said, staring out into the horizon.

“Daddy- I mean Charlie”, Bella said awkwardly, looking up from her pancakes for a split second.

“Ventana”, he said, stiffly turning to me.

“Mr. Swan!”, I exclaimed.
“Will you be joining us for breakfast?”

“No” he said, sternly “Duty calls. Pardon me ladies” he replied before sliding across the floor and out the front door. A few seconds later we saw him from the breakfast nook, rolling down the street on a Segway; arms outstretched like earlier.

“Wow, your dad’s pretty cool”, I said.

“Yeah”, said Bella, shoveling her pancakes into the trash. “Well anyway, let’s go to school”, she said, picking up two bookbags from the kitchen counter that she had prepared beforehand. Hers was shaped like a red heart and said LDR on the front. Mine was cool and spiky and badass and it said fuck you on the front. I’m sure they’ll let me walk around with that at school.

“Thanks”, I said, throwing my empty cereal bowl in the sink and grabbing my bag. We walked out of the house and splashed whimsically through the driveway, which was obviously sopping wet. There sat that old cardinal red 1963 Chevy StepSide C-10 pickup I had seen from the bedroom window earlier, waiting for us to come inside.

I felt a bit weird then.

“Puñeta que dolor!”, I said in my mother tongue, cupping the top of my head with both hands.

“Hmmm?”, Bella hummed, inserting the key in the ignition.

“You got some ibuprofen bitch?”, I asked, turning to her.

“No you whore”, Bella replied as the truck revved to life underneath us.

As we were arriving to the school parking lot, we drove through a giant puddle and SOAKED the fuck out of a group of sexy anemic teenagers that were standing on a Jerp.

“OH WHAT THE FUCK? FUCK YOU!” One of them said, but we were already too far to hear them. I mean I heard him but

Anyway, we get off and trudged our way through the heavily moisturized parking lot and into the old brick building for the purpose of eduction.

We talk to some random adults to get ourselves set up for class and all that nerd shit, and before we know it, we arrive at the classroom.

We walk inside and suddenly im hit with a burst of air from a fan, which scared the shit outta me. Apparently they didn’t have fucking air conditioning in this school, which is fine I guess cause it’s cold as balls anyway.

We glance around the room to see if there’s any free tables where we could sit. Immedietlay my eye is caught by this one boy. He looked similar to those emaciated wet corpses from earlier, but he definitely wasn’t among them, or I would’ve recognized him. He had a dramatically cheesecake face, like mount RushMore, and perfectly queefed hair in the color of a molten lava cake from Chili’s if it was slightly more red. He was serving occult and esoteric vibes, I’m not even gonna lie. As Bella and I got closer, the boy grew stiffer and stiffer (A/N: NOT LIKE THAT YOU FILTHY FUCKING WHORE) and more apprehensive, until suddenly he let out a loud throaty dry heave.

“What the fuck?” I said, sniffing my oversized Koi No Yokan shirt, which is the cleanest shirt I own. But he retched even louder this time, his body now contorting as if he had hot coffee spilled all over him. He collapsed on the floor with a loud thud and slowly dragged himself out of the room in a serpentine fashion. “Rude” I said.

I thought there was something peculiwhore about that boy but I decided to archive the thought, because I had to sit my ass down. Bella and I looked around one smore but the tables were all at least halfway occupied so Bell and I had to sit at different tables, which was disappointing as shit. So Roxy and I walked over to our seats oh wait, Edw- I mean that weird boy is gone so I guess we can sit at the same table. Well we decided to sit there because of because yeah anyway we sit down, but suddenly Bella looks at me.

“Ventana…”, she said; her eyes growing wiser.

“What is it bitch?”, I said, rummaging throigh my bacpack.

“You’re…”, Bella shook her head erotically.
“Bleeding!”, she finally spat out.

“No I’m not, you whore.” I made sure of that this morning.

“Ventana, your face!”

Slowly, I ran my tingers down my temple, then I looked…
They were was is were is was covered in blood.

“Teacher?!?!” I screamed, raising my hand.

Mister man looked at me.

“I need to go to the bathroom”, I scream-whispered, pointing at the door.

“Damn bitch okay”, he said absentmindedly.

“You want me to come?” Bella asked breathlessly, rising from her seat.

“No!” I shrieked, slamming her back on the chair by her shoulder.
“You’ll… you-you… like, you’ll miss the class!” I sputtered.

Bella made a surprise double chin.

“I’ll be right back”, I said, edging through the classroom and out the door.

I naruto ran to the bathroom, bust through the door and stood in front of the first mirror I could find.

This one girl who I somehow knew was called Jessica Stanley gave me a passive aggressive look, but I punched her and she ragdolled across the room.
I looked back into the mirror.

I gasped.

I was NOT having a goof time. My eyes were reddened and glazed, and I had two thick lines of blood running down both of my temples.

“WHAT THE FUCK???” I creamed loudly as I touched my aching skull. There were two sharp bumps jutting out from my head, and it reallY FUCKING HURT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!!1!!

Suddenly someone came through the fucking door.

It was fucking Bella oh my god!!!1!