Work Text:
The wedding itself was no spectacular affair. The hall in which they had rented was simply decorated, floral arrangements accenting the beginning and end of the isle between the entrance and the alter. Instead of the usual organ that rang through the air, a string quartet lulled the guests in, dancing them along to their seats.
That had hardly made things easier for Dean, who had only gone in support and love for his brother. Things had progressed rather slowly into the reception area of the hall they'd held the wedding out. There was small talk and mingling among all the guests, except Dean made a forceful effort to make sure no one spoke with him.
Instead he observed, watching everyone talk with other people, a few of them catching his eyes with either their bright colored hair, or a loud boisterous laugh every once in a while. It didn't feel quite as alienating as he had imagined, since no one seemed to take notice of him against the opposing wall. After nearly half an hour of this, the doors to the reception hall opened, allowing the guests to enter unorganized.
Many searched tables for their names that sat on simple white cards atop glossy white plates. Dean found his at one of the circular tables closest to Sam and Cas', noticing that he was sitting with mostly Cas' family. While he doubted that it would be awkward, it would be people he hadn't seen since he was a teen and he felt he might very well be the center of their attention for a majority of the dinner.
He had been right, and once plates were cleared from the tables, he was grateful when they got up to go mingle with friend of both Sam and Cas, leaving him to lounge silently and spectating at the table. He watched as his brother and now brother-in-law made their rounds, speaking with everyone briefly, most of whom were exaggeratedly congratulating them. Dean never noticed the body that took a seat beside him, observing the crowds with him for a silent moment before catching his attention.
“Dean,” said a soft, female voice that he had belonged to for so many years. His shoulders went tense at hearing her voice, his eyes falling shut as he desperately hoped it wasn't her. Turning, he was, unfortunately, shot down, Lisa sitting in front of him looking extremely beautiful in a rather conservative white dress that fit her perfectly in all the right places.
“Lisa...” he started, but was interrupted when he heard Sam's voice call his name. Turning again in his seat, he saw the two husbands now heading towards the table he and Lisa were at. They stood in unison, and Dean was the first to be hugged, his younger brother nearly crushing him tightly as he was pulled against his chest.
He smiled, glad to see that his brother was so happy, returning the hug with a pat on the back before he was released. Green eyes watched as Sam gave Lisa a much gentler hug, a few words passed between them quietly, before Cas was in front of the pair of them.
"I'm so glad you both came," Cas said, pulling them both into into one hug. He kissed each cheek, before releasing them, beaming at them. His whole body seemed to quiver with excitement, happiness, but a hint of fear. "I know that things between you were tense, last time you spoke, and I know that's not how it should've ended. I'd be an awful friend and brother-in-law if I didn't urge you two to at least gain closure. Please talk."
Cas took his leave, returning to his husband, giving him a kiss before they spoke with two females, one a flaming red head, the other a dim brunette.
"Dean," Lisa said, forcing him from his reverie of thoughts.
"I'm sorry, Lis. I just, I thought I knew myself and when he let me--"
"Dean, I know. I understand, I do. I just wish you would've told me. I know how hard it is to regain something that you lost when it had been a large part of your life before," she said, offering him a sad and demure smile.
"What do you mean?"
"When you lose someone you love so completely like that, it kind of shocks your system. It makes you feel hollow and unsure and you do stupid things trying to fill the void."
"Who did that to you?" He asked, his face taut and saddened.
"You did. You've always been so consumed by guilt and blame that you've never let yourself see what you've become to other people. When we broke up after college, I was devastated. When Cas was suddenly gone, I noticed a change in you. You'd always watch him from afar, but never approach, because high school lingered on you.
"Then again, after the reunion. Dean, I had never seen you drink so much. He was and is everything to you, just like you are to me. I would never ask you to let that go because you're with me. You wouldn't be the man you are today if it wasn't for Cas.
"All I've ever wanted from you was honesty, and instead of explaining, you hid behind guilt and shame, and divorced me."
"I know, Lis, I'm sorry."
"It's a bit late for sorry now, Dean. I can't go through something like that again. I can't do that to Ben. I can't risk you leaving again because you're not happy. That'll destroy me and it would completely devastate Ben. I'm sorry, Dean," she said before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek. "I hope you find the happiness you're looking for. You deserve it."
She gave him a sad and lingering smile, before turning her back and seemingly leaving the reception. Dean didn't know, because all he saw was emptiness. His entire chest ached and his body quivered with anxiety and angst. His heart longed for comfort and safety, but his flesh begged for freedom and release. He felt as if he was being ripped apart at the seams of his very existence.
"Hey, you're Dean, right? The guy who completely ruined Cas' life?"
A female voice crushed his woes, pressing them into the ground with the slightly masculine heel of her shoe.
"I'm sorry?" He said, insult dripping into his veins as if from an IV.
"Oh you heard me and don't deny, okay? Sometimes, it's a good thing to be that person. You helped him become a stronger person, and also find his husband," she said, unpainted lips grinning. This was the flaming red head that Cas and Sam had been talking to earlier. "I'm Charlie, by the way."
"Yeah..." he responded, unsure if it was actually nice to meet her.
"So. Single and looking?" She asked him, earning a scornful look from the man. "Hey, don't knock it. Plenty of available men and women here."
"Why would you...?"
"Seriously? Look. You were with Cas for a while and even if you couldn't come out, it was a serious thing for you, too. Then you were with the girl who'd been his friends in freshman year. If that's not bisexuality to me, I don't know what is," Charlie said, giving him a suggestive grin.
"I'm not... I don't know."
"You've only been with two people, haven't you?"
"No!"
"That's a yes. Dude, chill. I'm not judging much. I think it's adorable and shows the kind of person you are,"she said just as the brunette that had been with her before appeared next to her side. "Oh. Dean, this is Hannah. Hannah, meet Dean."
"The Dean?" She asked, arching an eyebrow as she peered at Dean.
"I suppose so," he muttered, looking disgruntled.
"Hey, don't look like that. Everything I've heard isn't bad, Dean," Hannah said, her smile hesitant as she looked at him. "Cas adores you, even now. He told us what happened. I'm sorry. That's really rough."
"You have no idea," he muttered, cruising his arms over his chest. He didn't understand what these women were taking to him for.
"Have you considered dating again?" Charlie asked, smirking a little. "Come on. Let us hook you up. A wedding is the best time to find someone."
"I'm not looking for a hook up."
"Neither are a lot of the people here. For example, you've got Jessica Moore," she said, pointing to a very beautiful blonde woman who looked too much like their mother for his tastes.
"No."
"You've got Fergus, but he prefers the name Crowley, for some reason. Can't blame him. Fergus is an awful name," Charlie said, snickering slightly as she directed his attention to an older man. He wasn't unattractive, but he certainly wasn't Dean's type either.
"No. Would you stop?" He asked, his eyes pleading with Charlie.
"Nope! How about Jo Harvelle. She's got a personality a lot like yours."
"I'm not trying to date myself," he said despite the fact that Jo was a very beautiful blonde girl who looked a little younger than Sammy.
"Fine, fine. What about Benny Lafitte? Real sweet southern charmer. He's slick with his words. Gayer than sin, but that's worked in his favor for years," Hannah intervened, peering around Charlie to look at Dean. "I think you'd like him, Dean. Even if you don't find a date, try and find a friend. Being here alone does no one any favors."
Hannah's words were honest and passive, coming off more of a suggestion for an attempt than a demand to be happy. It kind of eased him into the idea that maybe they really were just trying to help. He glanced over at the man that Hannah had pointed out. He was fairly attractive, stubble grazing the curve of his jaw. His skin was tanned, but smooth. A smile lit up his features as he was clearly amused by something one of the men he was talking with said.
"We'll take your silence as a slight interest," Charlie responded, chuckling as she nudged him forward. "Go on."
“Charlie,” Hannah said, stepping forward and wrapping her arm around Dean's shoulder. “You never send someone in alone.”
The red head looked like she had been slapped hard with the realization, and a grin sprouted from her face as she lit up like the Fourth of July. Suddenly, Dean was being ushered over by the two of them, Benny now standing alone, drink in hand.
“Benny!” called Charlie, capturing his attention immediately, and luring out the half smile that played his features of the side of mischief.
“Charlie,” he said, his voice full of whisper, despite being clear and loud. The man embraced the red head, patting her on the back firmly before releasing her. “How've you been?”
“Oh, same ol', same ol'. Benny, I want you to meet Dean. Dean, this is Benny,” she said, nudging him forward. A hand was offered to him, and he shook, struggling to make and maintain eye contact with the other man.
“Nice to finally meet you after all the stories, Dean. I have to say they don't do you justice,” Benny drawled, his voice seemingly naturally husky.
“How so?” he asked, as his hand dropped back to his side, finding its way into his pocket.
“When you only hear stories and no description, you gather your own idea. I didn't expect you to be as tall, nor as attractive,” the man said honestly, earning a skeptical glance from Dean.
“What did you expect?”
“I dunno, five-foot-five, tortured blonde hair, not quite as fit, and definitely not green eyes.”
“You expected me to be blonde?” Dean asked with a laugh. “That's a hell of an image.”
“Mm, well, I just get the image of an attempt at being a pretty boy when I hear the name 'Dean'. You don't disappoint,” Benny responded, offering him a coy smile.
“They completely set this up didn't they?” Dean asked after a moment, arching an eyebrow, earning a chuckle from the other.
“It could be something like that,” the man responded to him, earning a shake of the head and a smile.
“Did they pay you to flirt with me?”
Benny actually looked a little offended at that.
“I'm sorry?” he said, his shoulders tensing up as he turned to face Dean head on. “I'm not sure if you're implying that I'm not actually interested, or that you believe yourself to be someone uninteresting, but I'd like to be the person to tell you otherwise on both subjects.”
“I find it a little hard to believe that people actually go to weddings looking to hookup,” the Winchester said, arms folded over his chest. He earned an unexpected laugh at that, the skin around Benny's eyes crinkling with amusement.
“I'm not looking for a 'hook-up', Dean. Hell, I'm not even sure I'm looking, but you caught my eye. I asked the girls to introduce us earlier after having seen you speaking with Castiel. I don't know who you're trying to blame here, but perhaps you could take a moment to just enjoy life,” Benny said, his eyes softening, and the corners of his lips curving as he spoke. His voice had been gentle the entire time, but his shoulders still carried the insult.
“Why? If you've heard the stories then you know.”
“I know that you were once a selfish teenager scared of being something because of the other people around you. I also know that, above all, you've still put the man you care for above yourself. It's obvious, Dean, don't look surprised. You're not so good at hiding your emotions,” the older man said, his lips quirking in a half-smile. “Honestly, I'm not looking for more than you're willing to give. You don't want to talk after tonight, that's on you. You wanna go out after this, that's on you. I can't be upset because, at least, I tried.”
“You are an overly positive person,” Dean mumbled, scuffing the bottom of his shoe along the carpeted floor.
“Oh, this isn't positivism. It's complacency. Acceptance. There comes a time in life where you must accept complacency because it'll be the only paved way to positivism and happiness.”
“You sound experienced in that.”
“Mm, that's one way to put it.”
“What's your story?”
“Come with me to dinner tomorrow night, and I'll tell you,” the man said, a lilt in his voice and a curve to his lips.
“You're bribing me?”
“I'd like to call it giving you incentive. As well as satisfying my desire for this to be the first time we speak, not the last.”
“They weren't lying when they said you were a smooth talker,” Dean replied, but a smile graced his lips and eyes as he looked at Benny. “Deal. We'll go to dinner.”
“Excellent,” Benny drawled, blue eyes sparkling much like Cas' once had. However, it was easy to distinguish the difference, and it gave him a sense of happiness to know that maybe he was ready to move on. After all, Cas had.