Chapter Text
Finally finishing his last scroll of homework, Shen Yuan placed the parchment half haphazardly into a pile with the others, before pressing his cheek against the table, letting out a loud groan.
Shen Jiu, who had finished his work the day before, hit Shen Yuan's head with his fan, fed up with the complaining. “Cut it out. We still have to practice our sword forms today.
Shen Yuan, who had just barely managed to escape the hell that is the history of calligraphy, swatted back at the fan currently attacking him. “Jiu-ge, pleeeease. Just a little break! My head is about to explode!”
“No. Your sword forms are still lacking.”
Shen Yuan let out yet another groan, as Yue Qi, who had been watching the whole conversation unfold, gave a light hearted laugh at Shen Yuan’s misery.
Pressing his cheek further into the table, Shen Yuan let the cold surface distract him. Sword forms, huh? Even whilst drowning in his studies, Liu Julong never failed to come to mind.
That stupid pretty brute, if he wasn't so blunt the last time they spoke, maybe Shen Yuan would have called him over for tea before he left! But after that weird sort of confession followed by a “yea but actually I'm leaving you so hold that thought”, Shen Yuan had been too much of an emotional wreck to think about it.
It had been about a day since Liu Julong entered the spiritual caves, how was he doing?
Shen Yuan was dragged out of his thoughts however, with a particularly harsh blow to the back of his head.
“Ow! What the fuck! I'm coming, I’m coming!” Shen Yuan said, lifting himself off the table and bringing his hands to cover the rising bump on the back of his head.
Shen Jiu, who still had his fan poised for an attack, gave Shen Yuan an irritated sneer before saying, “Please stop making those love sick eyes already. You’ve been doing it all day, I'm going to vomit.”
“WHAT? No, no no you’ve got it wrong. Me and Liu-shidi are just friends! And I'll just miss him, that's all!” Shen Yuan quickly relaliated, flailing his arms in front of him, feeling weirdly flushed.
“Oh, so it’s Liu-shidi then.” Yue Qi said with a teasing smile. “I didn't think you would confess it yourself.”
Huh? WHAT? No. No they've got this all wrong. Shen Yuan is straight, he couldn't possibly-
Shen Jiu tsked, “THAT bastard? Shen Yuan, he's a complete idiot! You deserve way more than him!”
“What! No! Liu-shidi is great he-” Shen Yuan paused mid sentence. Why was he trying to defend Liu Julong like a lover? Of course Liu Julong was beautiful, and strong, and caring, but Shen Yuan didn’t think of him that way.
Did he?
Lost in his thoughts, Shen Yuan tuned out Shen Jiu who was currently lecturing him. How... did he feel about Liu Julong? It’s true he missed him after only a few days, and even when they were together, Shen Yuan found himself wanting to see more of the others' faces. The way he blushes when embarrassed, a stark contrast to the still and cold beauty he held while fighting.
Shen Yuan had never looked at another man that way before. And surely most friends were this close. But, he had to say, the thought of being romantic with Liu Julong… wasn't unpleasant.
Suddenly, from behind Shen Yuan, came a loud thud. They had chosen to take their table outside today while working, hoping the morning air would help, however, it seemed like it only made it easy for others to come by uninvited.
Hands on his knees, panting, Mu Kang stood behind Shen Yuan.
Like Shen Yuan had done on Bai Zhan, it seemed like Mu Kang didn’t wait for his sword to make a smooth descent before crashing down to the ground in haste.
“Shen Shidi!” Mu Kang yelled through staggered breaths.
“Yes Mu-shidi?” Shen Yuan replied confused.
Pulling a device out of his pocket, Mu Kang carefully held it out in front of Shen Yuan, hurriedly asking, “In your fight with Wu Yanzi. Did he hit you with this?”
Sensing that Mu Kang was talking about something serious, the three boys stood up and surrounded the small object.
After a moment of inspecting the small brass ball, Shen Yuan shook his head. “No, no I don't believe I was.”
Visibly relieved, Mu Kang’s shoulders dropped, the tension flooding out of them. “Thank goodness.”
“Why, what is it?” Shen Yuan asked.
“After Yue Qi defeated Wu Yanzi, he picked it up off the ground.” The three of them looked over to Yue Qi, who nodded in confirmation before Mu Kang continued, “Knowing that Wu Yanzi specialized in using spiritual devices and talismans, the peak lords sent it over to Qain Cao peak for us to inspect it. The device, once activated, shoots small blades that are covered in a type of poison. It took us several days to analyze it since we hadn't seen it before, but we believe it to be a drug that can induce Qi deviations. The formula seemed to be incomplete however, so the reaction was delayed.”
Qi… Deviations?
Shen Yuan didn’t wait for Mu Kang to finish before unsheathing Li Ye and flying as fast as he could to Qiong Ding peak.
Shen Yuan looked closer at Liu Julong’s wounds. “Are you really alright?”
Liu Julong made an adorably annoyed face after being cut off, but it softened back into his usual expression at Shen Yuan's concern. “I'm fine.” Liu Julong said matter of factly, “The asshole ambushed me with some sort of spiritual device. It shot out several small blades, but they only grazed me.”
A feeling of unease only continued to grow in Shen Yuan’s chest as he shot through the air towards the spiritual caves. If Liu Julong were to deviate now, alone in the caves, he might not make it.
Shen Yuan bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. In the original book, Liu Qingge had died of a qi deviation. Since his life so far had been so different to the original plot, Shen Yuan didn’t bother thinking too much of it. Surely now that his brother wasn't a scum villain, Liu Julong would not die.
And yet-
Shen Yuan, after jumping off his sword too early, lost his balance as he hit the ground, falling to the side. The loose rock around him bit into his palms as he hurriedly got back up. Liu-shidi. Shen Yuan was sprinting through the caverns, searching each chamber he came across. Liu shidi! The feeling of unease was so heavy, it was as if he was running with a bolder on his back.
Suddenly, Shen Yuan stilled. Over the sound of his own breathing, he could faintly hear the sound of uneven steps. Turning towards them, Shen Yuan ran as fast as he could towards the noise. Please be safe Liu-shidi!
Just up ahead, there seemed to be a chamber within the cave, and within it, Shen Yuan is just barely able to see the hint of a shadow moving. Slowing his pace slightly, Shen Yuan approached the entrance.
“Liu-shidi?”
The moment Shen Yuan poked his head into the room, Cheng Luan was hurled at his face. He managed to dodge, but the blade still nicked his cheek. “Liu-shidi. It's me. Shen Yuan.”
An almost inhuman snarl resounded around the cave, and as Shen Yuan dodged another blow, this time a fist, his fears were confirmed. Liu Julong was standing before him, taking laboured breaths. His ponytail was nowhere to be seen, and his long dark hair pooled messily down and around his shoulders. His normally pristine white robe was covered in dust and dirt, his knuckles bleeding from presumably punching the walls.
“Liu-shidi please, it's ok. It’s just me.” Shen Yuan tried to reason, carefully avoiding all of the messy attacks Liu Julong sent his way. The usual coordination and grace Liu Julong put behind his attacks were nowhere to be seen, instead he seemed only capable of making frantic, yet powerful blows. He was going to hurt himself, but Shen Yuan couldn't bring himself to hit back.
He was extremely unstable, but he was still strong. If Shen Yuan wanted to get out of this unharmed, he would have to hit Liu Julong hard enough to temporarily stun him. But- looking at the way Liu Julong is moving, he must already be in so much pain.
He would just have to catch him off guard somehow then. Shen Yuan only needed a few moments to start a qi transfer, relieve some of his shidi’s pain. A surprise attack in a way. But Liu Julong was still acting like a wild beast, he would escape easily if Shen Yuan merely touched his back or arms. He could… yes. There was no other choice.
Looking at the feral look in Liu Julong’s eyes, the cold sweat dripping down his neck, Shen Yuan strengthened his resolve. It was ok. Because it was Liu-shidi.
At Liu Julong’s next swing, Shen Yuan didn't step away. Instead, he ducked down, and before Liu Julong could retract his fist, Shen Yuan stood chest to chest with him.
“My apologies Liu-Shidi.”
Firmly placing his hands on either side of Liu Julongs face, Shen Yuan leaned in. Even while deviating, Liu Julong was caught off guard by this strange attack, and didn’t have time to resist before Shen Yuan carefully placed his lips on his.
A calming stream of spiritual energy rushed from Shen Yuan and into Liu Julong, flushing out any of the immediately unstable qi, whilst righting his meridians.
Shen Yuan’s face was surely beat red. He had closed his eyes when they made contact, too embarrassed to see the others reaction. But still he stayed there, gently calming the tsunami of spiritual energy currently burning Liu Julong from the inside out.
Even within these less than ideal circumstances, Shen Yuan couldn't help but marvel at the fact that Liu Julongs lips were incredibly soft.
Softly, after Shen Yuan managed to deal with the worst of Liu Julongs predicament, two warm hands patted Shen Yuan on the shoulders.
Snapping his eyes open, Shen Yuan pulled his face away, his hands still on Liu Julongs face.
Liu Julong looked back at him, a light blush across his face, eyes wide, but back to normal.
“Ah! Liu-shidi! You’re ok!” Shen Yuan exclaimed, hugging Liu Julong in relief.
Liu Julong tenses up at the action, and Shen Yuan remembers just what exactly transpired. Practically sprinting two steps away, Shen Yuan waves his hands in front of his face.
“Sorry oh my god I’m sorry Liu-shidi. Before you kill me please let me explain. You see the device you were hit by during the conference actually induced qi deviations so I was worried about you and came rushing over oh my gosh I'm so embarrassed are you ok are you in pain-” Shen Yuan started rambling out of control. Kill me now.
“Shen Yuan.” Liu Julong said, stepping once again in front of Shen Yuan. Unable to tear his eyes off the ground, Shen Yuan froze, awkwardly laughing as he replied,
“Yes?”
“Did-did you mean it?”
Did Shen Yuan mean he was sorry, and that the device brought the qi deviation? “Yes! Of course!”
Liu Julong inhaled swiftly at Shen Yuan’s response. “Then…” Liu Julong gently grabbed Shen Yuan’s face, gently tilting it up. And before Shen Yuan could comprehend what was happening, their lips met once again.
Eyes wide, Shen Yuan looked up at Liu Julong, the other man’s eyes were closed, long dark lashes kissing his high cheeks. This time, without the cool flow of qi, there is only an intense heat between the two of them, and though mild, the action was far more intimate than Shen Yuan had ever been with anyone. But it was good, almost intoxicating, to be this close to Liu Julong, and seeing the other and so close, Shen Yuan couldn't help but reach up and lightly touch that damned tempting beauty mark with his thumb.
Liu Julong, as his touch, slowly backed away, ears red, and leaned his head into the hand still outstretched next to his face. He slowly returned the gesture, his hot, calloused hand leaving ghost touches over Shen Yuan’s cheek.
“Did- did I hurt you?” Liu Julong asked, a small hint of regret present in his eyes.
Still flushed, Shen Yuan replied, “No, Liu-shidi was very gentle.”
With a twitch at the corner of his lip, Liu Julong took his face out of Shen Yuan’s hand, and coughed lightly to the side. “I uh. Meant while I was deviating.”
Shen Yuan was surely going to die of embarrassment in this cave. “OH! Ahaha sorry I didn’t realize what you meant. No, I'm perfectly fine! See!” Shen Yuan said, adding a little spin at the end of his declaration to sound more believable. Physically he was fine, but emotionally? He was far gone at this point.
Furrowing his brows slightly, Liu Julong brings his hand away from Shen Yuan’s cheek, his fingertips red with blood.
“Oh.” Shen Yuan said, bringing his hand up to touch his cheek as well. He had forgotten that Cheng Luan had grazed him. “I'm ok, really. But you’re one to talk, you dunce.” Shen Yuan scolded, bringing Liu Julongs hands into his. “Not only are your meridians a mess, your knuckles are torn to shreds.”
Liu Julong didn’t retract his hands, but he didn’t back down either. “I'm sorry. I told you I would help you, but instead I ended up doing the exact opposite-”
Shen Yuan tightened his grip on Liu Julongs hands, careful of the cuts. “No. I'm strong. You wouldn't be able to take me down that easily.” Shen Yuan slowly started rubbing a small circle on the back of Liu Julong’s hand. “But you wouldn't hurt me anyways. I trust you.”
Liu Julong stared long and hard at their hands, the small get intimate gesture speaking volumes. “About the kiss-”
Shen Yuan immediately tilted his head back down towards the floor, “Like I said I'm so sorry I didn’t even ask for your permission, please forget-”
“No.” Liu Julong cut him off. “I don’t want to forget.”
A shiver rushed down Shen Yuan’s spine as he registered the words. Not even a sichen before this, he didn’t even think he had feelings for Liu Julong! Even now, he wasn’t sure what he was doing. But he did know that it felt nice, that even though he was mortally embarrassed, Liu Julong made him feel safe.
Taking his own hands out of Shen Yuan’s grip, Liu Julong instead wrapped his larger, callused hands around Shen Yuans, before bringing them above his own heart. Shen Yuan could feel how frantic it was beneath the fabric of his robes.
“I promise to get even stronger. Strong enough so that neither of us get hurt. Shen Yuan, I promised I would help you, but instead I hurt you.”
“That’s not your fault! It was that evil cultivators' device!”
Squeezing Shen Yuan’s hands tighter, Liu Julong continued. “It’s because I was weak that I got hit, It's my fault. So I promise, I won't lose again.”
Staring up at Liu Julongs eyes, full of sincerity, Shen Yuan couldn't help but smile. “Well Liu-shidi, you are already far stronger than most people I’ve met.”
“I’ve always wanted to get stronger. But now I want to get stronger for you too.”
Was that Liu Julongs version of a confession? Even now, his blunt personality can’t just say things straight up. Well then Liu-shidi, it’s your fault if this one misinterpreted you. Bringing his hands from Liu Julongs and instead onto the other man’s shoulders, Shen Yuan closed his eyes, and leaned in.
Liu Julong stiffened, but soon his hands found themselves in Shen Yuan’s hair. This gentle care, Liu Julong’s almost furnace-like body heat, it was all comforting. It was safe. And Shen Yuan, instead of choking up, found himself falling into the kiss.
Even if he wasn't sure about many of the emotions present in his heart, he knew he trusted Liu Julong. He knew he enjoyed and longed for the other man's company. And above all, he knew that no matter what, as long as it was Liu Julong, he could stay like this forever.