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Chapter Text

…

“So, how are the wedding plans going?” Mingjue asks in an effort to make conversation on the way to his assigned room, Jing Guangyao perks at the question, almost coming to stop. They both know that Mingjue doesn't care; he has made his position in the matter very clear. “What, it is my wedding too?”

They stop at the doors of the Mingjue assigned rooms, Jin Guangyao bows before answering. “I could use some help in some matters.” A shy smile forms, only to disappear at the scoff that comes from Mingjue. Nodding softly, taking the silence as an answer. “I hope the room is to your liking, if you need anything please do not hesitate to ask any of the servants.” Mingjue doesn’t move those stormy eyes, following Guangyao every move like watching prey. 

“What about if my bed is cold, can I request someone to come help with that?”

 He doesn’t let Guangyao answer, pulling him inside in a quick move, not even bothering to close the doors, shoving him against the nearest wall.  Jin Guangyao barely has the opportunity to register the pain of his back hitting the wall when hard lips are upon his, a soft slap on his wrist when he tries to stop Mingjue from undoing his belt. He is quickly running out of breath, and yet he cannot seem to push Mingjue away. His own lips chasing after Mingjue is trying to tame the kiss to make it tender, however, Mingjue only causes Mingjue to grind his hips against him and pull him even closer. Having gain way inside Jin Guangyao robes. His hand palming the growing erection between his legs and he can only hold on tight and rock against the hand; a moan escaping from his lips, relishing in the small laugh near his ear only to turn in to a gasp as Mingjue decides to assault his neck.

“Ming… A’Jue… Please” He mewls, only causing Mingjue to laugh against his skin before grabbing hold of his member, rubbing the head with his thumb. “ The door… Someone … ahh, someone can see.”

“Are you worried that they will see you like this?” Mingjue purrs against his ear, his hand doing an up and down motion.

“I… I… Please Mingjue…” His body shakes, rocking against the hand, looking for relief. “I need… Please.” 

“Let them hear you… To know you are nothing but mine…” So close he is so close he can almost see stars behind his closed eyes, he rocks at the steady pace Mingjue’s hand is making, another moan ripping from him. “Louder.” The kiss under his ear turns hard with his moaning, and then he comes at the same time, teeth scraping against his skin. His brain regains custody of his body, and he pushes Mingjue away, panting.

“I don’t like it. You would leave a mark.” He spats, his eyes quickly looking down attempting to busy himself fixing his robes

“So what’s the problem with a little taste of what I bought?” In his defense, he regrets saying the minute he hears himself, there is a small flick of hurt on Jin Guangyao’s eyes, but it disappears after a blink.

“Have a good night, I will see you tomorrow.” He turns to leave, only to wince in pain when Mingjue grabs a hold of his arm, pulling him to stop.

“Hey, I didn’t pull you that hard…” Watching Guangyao rub his arm with a blush on his face, his eyes cast down without saying a word.

“No… I know…” Mingjue grabs his arm once more, pushing the sleeve back to reveal a deep bruise on it. He watches Mingjue glare at the bruise, a question in his eyes. “I fell.” He answers, shoving his sleeve down, moving away quickly.

“Clumsy?” Mingjue says under his breath, clearly not believing a word of it. Nodding, Guangyao takes his leave.

A few months ago…

 The war was finally over and even though they have suffered many losses they have won, it was the first time sleeping back at home, knowing his sect had survived, his brothers were safe, and his love. Meng Yao stirred only to snuggle closer against his ribs and soft exhale, causing Mingjue skin to break into goosebumps. It was their first time in a bed; all the other ones he had held him in a tent or in an open field under the stars, and as romantic as it sounds he would take the safety of his bed over anything to hold his love.

 His brilliant love, who did not cease to surprise him every day, the brilliant boy that had saved their asses coming out with brilliant strategies when they thought everything was lost. He wasn’t sure how exactly had happened the minute they were in a fierce battle and the next one he was shoving Meng Yao against a tree, claiming his lips. They have easily gravitated towards a bed afterward, almost every night when the camp was sound asleep; he will wait for Meng Yao to enter his tent. Sometimes they will try to satiate each other with kisses and challenging the power of the silence-talismans on the tent; other they will talk strategies or simple things like home, on the bad nights they will hold each other in silence Mingjue counting the thumps of Meng Yao till falling asleep. 

Lanling Jin Clan had already sent word of the plans for a conference; personally Mingjue did not think it necessary since almost all but the Jin Sect, were trying to count their losses and rebuild, however Jin Guangshan can be very persistent. Meng Yao had kept his thoughts to himself, even when Mingjue had tried to press him about it. He had even mentioned he could stay behind and look after the Sect while Mingjue attends, something that Mingjue had refuse; only to get them into an argument when Meng Yao tried to downplay his own role in the war saying he had done nothing remarkable, nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done in his place. That night, Mingjue had waited for him sitting in his bed, embracing him, a salient apology from both ends.

The day before the conference, he had tried again, only to be shut down by Mingjue once more. Reluctantly, he had followed the word of his leader, only for Mingjue almost to take it back the minute they meet with Jin Guangshan; the way he had to look down at Meng Yao it almost made Mingjue’s blood boil with anger, meeting his wife had been worse. That night when he held Meng Yao he felt the other shiver in silent cries. Day two of the conference seemed a bit better. Meng Yao had not left his side and Jin Guangshan had seemed almost pleased when the announcement of Meng Yao being one of the heroes of the campaign, Mingjue had recognized that look, he was planning something.

“He wants to leave…” his own words echoing watching Jin GuangShan with incredulity, his jaw clenching hard knowing he will not be able to deny anything from Meng Yao even if he wanted to go far away from him.

“Well, don’t you think it is best for him to have the name of his own clan?” A smile snakes out of the face of Jin Guangyao, he had decided to approach Nie MIngjue at the end of the second day of the conference, deciding he will finally give Meng Yao his name. “As you know, in the cultivation world recognition is everything and what is best is to have merits backend up by a  good name.”

“Him being a hero has nothing to do with your decision.” Jin Guangshan dares to smile even brighter.

“You seem to forget that I was his father first, my son was lost to me. And I will be forever grateful to you for bringing him back.” Getting up from his sitting position made Nie Mingjue rise with him. “He is also not against the idea of recovering his birthright.” Watching Mingjue confused and hurt look at the possibility of Meng Yao agreeing with this, he decides to dig the knife dipper. “I approached him last night, and he is not against the idea of coming home to us.” Mingjue’s hands open and close, holding back the need to punch him. “I am amazed he has not come to you first. I’ll be taking my leave now.” Spying Meng Yao coming towards them. “Am sure. You will need to talk.” 

He leaves then, Meng Yao quickly bowing to both, an embarrassed blush covering his face at the sight of Mingjue's hard eyes on him.

“Mingjue… I”

“When were you leaving? Were you going to wait till the conference was over to tell me? Or was it going to happen overnight?” he says, almost shouting.

“He is offering me a name… Mingjue winces at his words, remembering the words of Meng Yao’s father.

“So is that what you are after a name?” Meng Yao looks at him back, trying to consider the imputation.

“No… Yes.” Mingjue scoffs, shaking his head. “He is offering me his name, Mingjue, not a position.” Mingjue looks at him with a question in his eyes. “How do you think they see me? Or are you that blind to not notice they know that  I lay with you.”

“Is that what it is? You lay with me.” His eyes became hard, his throat clenching with upcoming fury.

“No, but they don't see that…” He bites his lips, trying to hold back tears. “Mingjue… It needs to stop….” he tries.

“Apparently, neither did I.” Turning around, trying to control his emotions. “If you have already decided then it ends now, I will not hold you back on your possibilities.” his words dripped with venom.

“Mingjue, I didn’t mean…” he stammered, looking hurt.

 “Should I write you a letter, telling your father how good of a disciple you are?” Meng Yao looks back at him, his mouth open in a gasp, tears escaping now, and Mingjue wants to take all he said back that instant. “I…”

“If you must. I am sure my father would like to know of my capabilities” his jaw trembles with emotion, however he delivers his words back with the same venom that Mingjue used in his. “I should gather my things.” Mingjue watches him exit in silence, letting himself fall in bed.

The next day the conference proceeds without a hitch, Mingjue almost smiles at the proud look Meng Yao has in the face; now dressed in Jin’s colors sitting next to Jin Zixuan, who seems to have taken the news better than everyone thought. Before they arrive for a break for lunch, Jin Guangshan raises to propose a toast in honor of all the heroes of the campaign. His two sons being part of it, and Mingjue cannot help but wince at the sugar coated words he uses to introduce his second son. How he makes it sound as if he had been lost all this time; without him being able to reach for him. When in reality, Mingjue knows he knew exactly where Meng Yao has been all his life, and he never even intended to try to reach for him. He gives Meng Yao a courtesy name, not a really brilliant one like he deserves. Mingjue is sure it took him less than two seconds to come up with it. However, Meng Yao looks happy and that should be enough, he tells himself. Meng Yao is happy enough. 

Everyone is settling down once more, when Jing Guangshan is up once more, refilling his cup, glancing at Nie Mingjue.

“I propose a toast and a proposition to the Nie Mingjue, the hero of the Nie Sect.” The audience quiets down, shushing everyone to hear better, Mingjue looks back. “An alliance between the Jin Sect and the Nie, to straighten the old bonds of fellowship that these two sects have always had.” Mingjue nods, but Jin GuangShan is far from done. “I propose a marriage alliance between Nie Mingjue and my son Jin GuangYao.”

Mingjue immediately seeks Meng Yao’s eyes, who tries to tell him he is just as surprised as him, however the fury growing in Mingjue’s chest fails to recognize it as it is.

“You already know how capable my son is. I hope you won’t disagree that this union would only serve to make us  all stronger.” 

“Dage…” Huaisang is looking at Mingjue in confusion, begging with his eyes for Mingjue not to cause a scene, since it will only benefit Jin Guangshan. 

“Of course, I accept.” He knows it’s a challenge either way he will lose, so he takes and swallows the bitter pill even if he doesn't like it. Jing Guangshan smiles at his words, knowing fully he had won.

“Dage you need to calm down…” Husianag urges when at the break Mingjue raises to exit the hall.

I am calm…” He pulls his sleeve free from Huaisang’s hands. 

“ No you are not, and might do something, you will regret, like blaming someone innocent…” “Innocent you say… So now you are an expert in all things Meng Yao.” Mingjue scoffed at his words.

“Listen to yourself, all I’m saying is give him the opportunity to talk, not just judge blindly.” Minghjue scoffs once more and leaves.

He doesn’t take more than a few steps when he bumps into  Meng Yao.” Look at this, my future husband to be… I need a word with you.” he pulled Meng Yao in a not so nice way.

“So this was the plan all along?” Meng Yao shakes his head.

“Mingjue you are hurting me… And I didn’t…” Meng Yao tries

“We both know you can take a few shakes…” Meng Yao freezes at his words, stopping in his tracks.

“I did not know… I swear… He never mentioned that… You have to…” Mingjue suddenly stops pulling him, pushing him onto a wall.

“Of course you did not know… What else could you say now?” Punching the wall, making Meng Yao jump. “That you are tricking me into marrying you?” he yells on his face. “This changes nothing. Do you understand? Not a thing!”

Chapter Text

…

Less than a week after Meng Yao, now Jin Guangyao had settled in Lanling it had become apparent that nothing was the way his father had told him. Yes, he had come to bear his name but aside from the conference, he was never acknowledged as it. He tried his best to form part of the court, however, his ideas were shouted down every single time only to be used when another was to be mentioned, but never with recognition towards him. He had tried speaking about his father, but Jin Guangshan was an expert on avoiding him.  Not only that, but he felt lonelier than ever.

 Sitting at his desk he crumpled the last letter to Mingjue, there was no point in sending them, he could walk on his knees all the way to Qinghe and still, Mingjue would not see him. “Whenever people talk you down, you must rise above them and show them.” Mingjue’s words echoed in his ears, easy to say when you are not sinking deeper into the mud. Then there was the wedding, his father even as fixated he was with it did not move a finger to help him with anything. Madam Jin had made sure almost no one in town would work with him, so there he was planning a wedding he never asked for. He needed to put an end to it, he was going to talk to his father and make him listen.

“You are telling me that you don’t want to get married anymore…” Jin Guangshan’s eyes looked straight through him as if he was not even there, as if he was just talking aloud to himself. “You are telling me that after all the work and time that I have invested in this union, you are to back up from it, and make a joke of the Jin Sect.”

“I just don’t think any of this is necessary…” He tried his best not to mumble his words. “If you had considered me in that matter before ahead…” There is a flash of pain against his cheek that turns hot within a second; he is about to react when he is hit again, the force and the surprise of it making him walk backward bumping his knee into a table sending him to the floor.

“You don’t think… That is exactly what I want to hear: “You don’t think!” Jin Guangshan gets near him only to land a kick against his ribs, followed by another near his shoulder when he tries to cover his face with his arms. “Why do I waste my time with you? I gave you my name. I gave you a home. You ungrateful child, I am giving you the opportunity of not ending the streets like your mother.” Another kick aiming for his face landed on his arm just below the wrist. “Or did you think he was going to ever make an honest man out of you and marry you out of the good of his heart?” 

“Father, please…” he cries, hoping Jin Guangshan will take pity on him and stop. “ Am sorry, am sorry…”

“What was that?” Jin Guanshan pulls hard on his hair, prodding his head from his arms and facing him. “You are sorry? You should be sorry, you were nothing but a bed warmer to him and here I am making an effort to make him take responsibility, to give you the place you earned by his side. But, I am the villain here, aren’t I… I am forcing you to do something you don’t want to do? Even when it will only benefit you.” He aims to slap him once more, making Meng Yao flinch and close his eyes with anticipation of another hit, only to tap softly on his cheek instead. “It seems that I got here too late… Call off the wedding, do what you want… Then pack your things and leave Lanling… It is bad enough what they say about your mother, I will not have them saying about one of my sons.” Letting go of his hair, he walks out of the office, leaving Meng Yao on the floor crying in pain.

…

Two days later, a letter from Qinghe arrives. His hopes evaporate quickly when he realizes the letter was sent by Nie Huaisang, not Mingjue, is a quick note written hastily and probably unknown to Nie Mingjue.   Simply lets Meng Yao know that his brother has left Qinghe and is traveling towards Lanling to meet with Sect leader Jin. The reasons are unknown to Huaisang, but he figures it has to do with the wedding plans or something around the matter. Maybe it is a good thing Mingjue is coming, they have spent time apart and this might have helped Mingjue think and possibly not just judge him blindly like the last time they saw each other. 

His hopes quickly shattered at the first sight of Mingjue at the foot of the steps, he doesn’t acknowledge him, he doesn’t talk to him, for God’s sake he doesn’t even look towards Meng Yao's direction. That night he sits still by his father over dinner, answering only the questions aimed at him, eyes on his plate, listening to his father trying to over-sell him once more. After dinner, his body betrayed him once more the moment Mingjue put his lips on him. The feeling of Déjà vu making his skin want to melt against Mingjue’s hands, only to hear his cruel words and break the enchantment. 

Closing the door behind him back to his own room, his knees give up on him, fresh tears taking hold of his face, and the worst part, nothing Mingjue is saying is a lie. He should leave, he thinks. His eyes on the open window, he should just walk into the night and disappear like Madam Jin hopes he will just puff off out of existence, no trace behind. And then what he thinks. And then what? 

…

Early in the afternoon they are pulled into a meeting, he is surprised to find Mingjue sitting there looking bored. It turns out his father has decided to handle the wedding process now. All the decisions are being taken care of and Meng Yao's only job, for now, is to sit pretty there and don’t make a sound, hoping maybe they can get a break before dinner, so he does. Here and there he feels Mingjue’s eyes on him, but knowing he would only look at him with disgust, he keeps his own down. The conversation has easily gone way past after dinner time. The topics going from wedding arrangements and dates to courting gifts or more likely the lack of them, in Mingjue’s defense the thought of courting gifts has not even crossed Meng Yao's head till this point. The wedding is arranged and obviously not wanted by any of the parties courting gifts will be nothing but a mockery, however, how do you say that to Madam Jin.

“There is no need” “I have it here,” Both Mingjue and him say in unison. Meng Yao finally looked up to Mingjue in surprise.

“Well, let’s see it.” the chirpy voice of Madam Jin breaking the moment.
A servant takes the small box from Mingjue to place it in front of Jin Guangshan who opens it up, fast observing the contents for a minute before nodding in approval towards Mingjue before passing it, towards Meng Yao. A wooden hairpin attached to it a small green flower carved out of jade with accents of gold and a pearl in the middle, falling from it in a little gold chain attached to the end of it three emeralds. When Huaisang had pointed it out from one of the vendors, Mingjue had thought it was not a big thing, not fancy enough; however Huaisang had reassured him it would be good enough, that Meng Yao had simple tastes unlike the Jin’s. He had been tempted to buy a second one, gold with ruby-encrusted jewels, but his brother had slapped him, telling him to trust him. Meng Yao smiled when he said it, and Mingjue found himself holding his breath till that tiny smile appeared.

“There was no need,” Meng Yao says once more softly, almost too low to be heard, but Mingjue can spot the small redness growing on his face.

“It is a shame you wore a hat now.” Madam Jin says, leaning forward to spot the gift. “Such a cute little thing.” Mingjue notices how Meng Yao eye’s lower at the remark of little, and he knows now that both he and Husianag were wrong in choosing the gift. The meeting finally comes to an end, but not without the promise of talking more about it at dinner. 

Meng Yao excuses himself and exits the room, only to find himself being followed closely by Mingjue who is quick to shove him into the first empty room he finds. It turns out to be a small supply closet. Meng Yao barely has time to register what is happening when his robes are being shoved off and away, hard lips claiming his once more. Mingjue’s scent of arouse mixing with his own, telling his brain to stop thinking and just feel. 

Letting go of his inhibitions, for once gripping tight to his love. In a quick move trying to adjust himself, Mingjue’s right-hand digs a bit too hard onto his rib, but the pain goes away fast when he is hoisted into his arms. A slick finger at his entrance, making him moan against the many kisses. He should tell him to stop so that someone may hear them, however by the time the third finger is added, and he is panting heavily with need, any thought of propriety goes up in smoke. All he cares about now is the soft way Mingjue keeps calling his name; holding him tight, by the time he takes, there are tears of pleasure coming unbound from his eyes. Mingjue’s hot breathing in his ear, feeling himself tense with anticipation, his member stiff against his stomach, only for his orgasm to hit fully when Mingjue hits that sweet spot for a second time. Clinging harder onto Mingjue, Meng Yao’s nails dig deep on Mingjue’s back, only realizing Mingjue’s own peak is nearing. His back slamming harder against the wall with every push, his name, his real name, coming out in grunts against his ears.

 Closing his eyes in bliss, feeling Mingjue slip down onto the floor until he is sitting in it with Meng Yao on his lap, cradling him like he is something precious.

“My leg is falling asleep… And am sticky.” he tries hard not to move, Mingjue’s head resting almost on top of his, his steady breathing telling him he is not sleeping. “I don’t want to bug but… This is a supply closet.”

“I put a silent talisman at the door,” Mingjue says, still not letting go of him. Meng Yao shifts uncomfortably, one of his legs falling asleep. “You are probably right.” He says once more, shifting in order to let go of Meng Yao. Who winces at the feeling of emptiness and even more stickiness. Meng Yao gets up, shaking his leg awake, leaning against the wall.

“I should… I should… They are probably looking for you.” Mingjue is still sitting on the floor looking up at him. Simply nodding away, watching him rearrange his robes. “Could you please?'' Meng Yao says pointing at his underpants who are lying next to Mingjue's side, with a wicked smile Mingjue passes them back. His hand however lingers on top of Meng Yao’s thigh, making the other freeze at the soft caress, only to watch  Mingjue’s eyes turn hard pushing up his robes, staring at the greenish-purple bruise on the side of his leg.

“You fell?” Mingjue says, the flat tone in his voice making Meng Yao lower his eyes, suddenly too aware of their situation. In haste, he shoves his pants up, still not saying a  word to him. Only once his garments are to a point of decency, he answers him.

“I told you I did…” his voice came softly, not looking at Mingjue’s reaction. “I will check on the door and guard it so no one can see you.” 

Getting up from the floor, Mingjue starts to arrange his clothing too. “I will be leaving tomorrow first thing.” Meng Yao nods, opening the door slowly, his head picking outside to find a hallway deserted, motioning Mingjue with his hand he lets him know to go out. For a fraction of a second Mingjue hesitates at the door and Meng Yao thinks he can spot a little softness in his eyes but is gone within a blink. He waits a few minutes after Mingjue has left to go to his room. 

…

“ Come back to Qinghe with me. '' The words finally come out the moment the door of his room closes behind his back.  The silence of the room answers back, closing his eyes he realizes he is nothing but a coward. Why not say it to A’Yao’s face or even better not even ask at all, just grab him by the hand and take him back, as Huaisang had suggested in the first place. Leaning against the door, he wonders if it is too late to fix any of this. 

Mingjue finds himself wandering the hallways, trying to be quiet while looking for Meng Yao. His rational brain tells him he should have asked someone for Meng Yao’s room instead of trying to find it himself, looking like a weirdo in the middle of the night. By now, he believes he is the furthest away he could possibly be from his destination, taking a turn only to end up in a secluded garden. He thinks on going back, and maybe this time asking for directions for his own rooms, scoffing once more he tries to find someone he can ask while picturing Huaisang doubling with laughter if he ever tells him about this. That’s when he spots him, sitting in the garden not far from him under a magnolia tree, the soft breeze playing with his hair, Meng Yao seems to be talking to someone or reciting something.

“Anyone there?” He asks to wind without turning when Mingjue steps on a branch before Mingjue can say something, he adds. “I am not as foolish as not to be armed, come at your own risk.” The voice sounds strong and Mingjue cannot help but smile and at the same time question why would Meng Yao feel the need to be armed in his own home, the moonlight glint on his sword tells him that he is not joking.

“A’Yao?” In recognition of his voice, he watches Meng Yao stiffen, straightening his back and waiting for him.

“I thought you would be sleeping by now since you are leaving early tomorrow.” He looks younger sitting here in his night robes, his hair down, without the stupid hat. And never in his life has Mingjue wanted him more.

“I can’t sleep.” He lies sitting down next to Meng Yao, who looks up at him with a worried frown.

“Oh, maybe I can ask one of the healers to make you some tea.” he looks eager to get up, looking back in confusion when Mingjue stops him.

“No, it is a place thing, I can never sleep well when I am here.” Meng Yao nods slowly.

“Is it a comfort thing? Maybe I can arrange your bed to be more comfortable,” he adds quickly, making Mingjue smile. 

“It's fine… Why are you up?” He watches him shift uncomfortably and for a second considers taking back his question Meng Yao is entitled to his privacy, and he doesn’t want to say it, well he shouldn’t pry.

“I was meditating… It is a nice night.” he trails off, looking up at the half-moon in the sky. 

“It is…” however, Mingjue is not looking up but at him. “Did you really fall?” 

“Yes.” Meng Yao answers. Growing up around Huaisang has taught Mingjue many things, and one of the best ones is how to spot a lie.

“Are you happy here?” Meng Yao looks at him as if caught off guard, only to look away before blinking.

“Why would I not be?” Too quick, too rehearsed. Mingjue looks at him in silence for the longest minute. He waits for Meng Yao to add something, but he does not.

“Come back to Qinghe with me.” He thinks of saying, however, the words stick to his tongue, and suddenly Meng Yao is talking softly, he asks to repeat what he just said.

“I said it is growing late… I should accompany you to your rooms.”

“Do you really want to marry me or is it just a plan of your father, and you are going along with it…” He wants to ask, but he bites his tongue, watching him get up and wait for Mingjue to do the same. “ Was any of it true? Do you love me as much as I think I do?” By the time he realizes he is standing by his door and his mouth has remained shut, Meng Yao is looking at him, a question in his eyes that tells him he must have missed another question.

“I hope you can rest. I will be here to bid you a safe trip tomorrow.” Nodding once more, Meng Yao vows before him.

“Before you go, I was supposed to give you this too.” taking a small box from his sleeve, he places the box in Meng Yao’s hands. “You may open it.” watching him look back with surprise. Inside the box lies a carved jade amulet representing the yin and yang and two cranes. Having lived with the Nie clan for a while, Meng Yao recognizes it immediately.

“Mingjue, I cannot…” Mingjue watches him try to put back the box in Mingjue’s hands. 

“You are my husband to be.” he simply answers.

“But this was your mother's, I cannot accept this, please.” Huaisang was right once again.

“You are my husband, I want you to wear it during the wedding.” before heading inside, “it belongs to you now. Goodnight” Closing the door behind him. He adds to himself, “just like you belong with me.

…

Nice Mingjue departs the next day, no displays of affection, no tears, and yet. Time moves slowly for Meng Yao in Lanling, he doesn't know what is worse, the fact that they seem to watch his every step or that everything he seems to do is wrong. Madam Jin is always ready to invent new ways to put him down. From offering remarks as to how Mingjue seems to be not so bad for a barbaric stud as to offer him recipes to get pregnant soon since is only what is expected from him. 

The idea hits him at night, would that be his job from now on, good only enough for breeding. According to Madam Jin, yes. She had remarked on how his hips did not seem good enough for even that. It was then when it occurred to him that it had been months since his last suppressants.  He had stopped taking them when he had come to Lanling, he was no longer sleeping with Mingjue, so he just stopped, but then Mingjue had come and they… Well, if that supply closet could talk, it would only judge Meng Yao for his loss of good judgment. Now he was fucked well and good fucked, what if he was with child? What to do, how to tell anyone? Maybe he could hide it, till… He tells Mingjue, how will he react? His hand instinctively rubbing his belly protectively. * I am sorry,” he whispers. He will need to come up with an excuse for going into town and look for a discreet physician there, someone he could pay. 

The next day it seemed as if everyone knew of his intentions since everyone kept throwing stuff to do on his hands, expecting him to finish them without question. By late afternoon, his day had been stolen from him. “Tomorrow,” he thinks, first thing tomorrow he won’t even wait for the get-up the earlier, the better. 

…

Nie Huaisang arrives the next day, it unnerves Jin Guangshan that he is not giving him a time frame for his visit, simply stating that it was on behalf of his brother in interest towards the wedding. Reluctantly, he had accepted the visit, what else could have been done. When Meng Yao had returned from his visit to town, he had found Nie Huaisang sitting by his door fanning himself with his fan, chirping back at the bird on the tree near the courtyard. During his time with the Nie clan they have formed quite of friendship, more likely he had become both Huaisang's guardian and accomplish in some of his getaways, only letting Mingjue know if they were too risky. The smile slips easily on his mouth at the look of greeting on Huaisang’s face.