Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Dean sat on the edge of his bed in the motel room he had Sam had been in for the last week. They’d just finished the hunt, and would hopefully be heading back to the bunker soon, but they still needed to stick around for a bit to check that they had caught the whole nest. The moon was shining through the window, lighting the room just enough for Dean to see Sam’s sleeping form under the other bed, and the completely empty chair which he couldn’t help but wish was filled with a certain trenchcoated angel. He always slept better when Cas was around, and seeing as Cas had been completing business up in Heaven for most of the last month, Dean was not doing well in the whole sleep department. Even his usual four hours was difficult when Cas was away, and he knew that he should really think about what that meant, but he refused to touch it with a ten foot pole.

Cas was his best friend, and wasn’t interested in being any more than that. Dean could respect that, and if part of that respect was taking the bundle of something in his chest and burying it so deep down that he didn’t even think about what that feeling was called, then so be it. 

Ripping his gaze away from the chair, Dean shifted until he was leaning his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped together as he breathed shakily. “Hey Cas,” he whispered, so quiet that it was barely audible even in the silent room, “I don’t know if you’ve got your ears on, but it would be great if you could drop in some time. I- We miss you dude, and it would be nice to check that your feathery ass hasn’t landed in any world ending shit again.” Dean winced. Why had he said that? Well done to him, friend of the year right there, brought up his friend's deepest insecurities just because he was too emotionally repressed to tell them they mattered to him. “Anyway, yeah, it’s been a while buddy, and I know you’re busy upstairs and all, but if you have a free moment-”

Dean didn’t even bother finishing his sentence, he just sighed to himself in disappointment and slight disgust, and stood up, wiping his slightly clammy hands on his sleep shirt as though he was physically wiping the connection to prayer away. It was a slight fear every time he did this, that he wouldn’t close the prayer properly—hang up the prayer? Disconnect the prayer? Dean had no idea—and Cas would be stuck with the true darkness of Dean’s thoughts throughout the day as they were filtered through a prayer. And wasn’t it just a joke, that even though he had no idea what he was doing, and even though it gave him more unwanted anxiety than anything else, he still found himself sitting on the edge of his bed praying to Cas as soon as Sam was asleep. He never said anything important, mainly just hunt updates, or requests for the angel to drop in, or funny anecdotes he thought Cas might want to hear, and he didn’t even know if Cas received them, he never mentioned it anyway. And yet here he was, still doing it. If you had told him when he was younger that he would be praying every night, then he’d have thought you were insane, even if you'd told him he would be praying to a rebel angel rather than God, but that was just how Cas was. He made Dean do insane shit without even asking him to.

The bed sheets were cold when Dean climbed back in, the slight warmth he’d managed to generate earlier in the night already dissipated while he was away praying, but even the cold couldn’t stop his heavy eyelids from slipping closed, and he didn’t even notice the spring which had been digging into his back for the past week as he slipped quickly away.

The motel door slamming closed woke him up the next morning. He had no idea how long he’d been sleeping, but his eyes felt gritty and he would have probably thrown a pillow and his giganteum of a brother who he could hear stomping around the room, except he could also smell coffee and bacon, and he didn’t want to risk knocking them onto the floor.

“Sammy,” he mumbled, not moving his face out of his pillow or making any move to start getting up. Instead he pulled his covers even tighter around him until he was surrounded in the sheets he’d warmed all night long, and he could almost ignore the spring that was digging into his shoulder.

“Yeah?” Sam replied. He sounded way too awake for this early in the morning, and worse than that, he sounded amused. Only Sam would wake him up this early in the morning, and then laugh at him when he did his best to physically bury himself back into the bed.

“I hate you.”

He couldn’t ignore his discomfort for any longer, and the smell of breakfast was a good enough incentive to have Dean pushing himself out of bed and ambling into the bathroom, grabbing his toiletry bag and some clean clothes to have a quick shower.

The warm water against his stiff muscles felt amazing, and he really didn’t want to get out at the end; but his breakfast was going cold, and even if the water had woken him up a little bit, he wouldn’t be fully awake until he’d drunk his entire cup of hot coffee and eaten whatever food Sam had bought for him. Hopefully it didn't have anything green in it. Dean was not in the mood for that this morning.

He was just pulling his jeans on when the sound of wings fluttering came from the main room, and without even waiting to put his socks on, Dean unlocked the door, excitement running through him which quickly turned to disappointment when instead of seeing his- instead of seeing Castiel, he saw Gabriel standing in the middle of the floor and talking to Sam who seemed to be staring at something Gabe was holding with an air of amusement.

“This isn’t funny Sam,” said a low voice that definitely wasn’t Gabe’s.

“What-” Dean started asking, cutting himself off when Gabe turned around and Dean was able to see a small winged plushie bear—like the kind you'd get from Build-a-Bear—sitting in his arms, with a grumpy frown and a trenchcoat. “No way.” Was all he was able to say as his mind scrambled.

There was no way that was Cas.

Sure, maybe the bear had Cas’ piercing bright blue eyes, and it's fur was the same color as Cas' hair, and it a even had a miniature version of his trencoat and suit combo, and okay maybe he did look just like a miniature Castiel… but there was no way that Dean’s best friend was the small bear plushie that Gabe was holding.

No way…

“Stop staring, it’s rude,” the bear told him—and Jesus fuck yes that plushie was talking—with a way too familiar glare and head tilt combo.

"Come on Cassie, give him a break," Gabe laughed and holy fuck that meant it really actually definitely was Cas. "It's not every day your friend comes home pint-sized, fluffy, and moody."

The bear—Cas, Dean reminded himself—just looked even more moody at that, but he did nod. "Yes, I suppose it would be rather surprising," he agreed. 

"Yeah, why are you a bear?" Dean asked in confusion, looking between Cas and Gabe and hoping at least one of them would have an answer for him.

"I'm not a bear! My vessel is just slightly altered at the moment."

"Your vessel is a bear plushie," Dean replied, "point remains, what happened to you?"

"I believe Cassie might have upset a couple of angels while he's been in Heaven," Gabe answered when it was clear Cas wasn't going to. "One of them did this, probably just wanted to get him out of the way for a while, but we can't rule out the possibility that they might be planning more."

"Can you reverse it?" Sam asked.

"Maybe," Gabe shrugged, "I'll have to look into it, we can only hope."

"Hopefully I'll be back to normal soon," Cas muttered, looking at his small hands—paws?—in annoyance. He wriggled around a bit—well, at least he could move about on his own. Even if he was a toy bear—until Gabe put him down, the movement drawing Dean's attention back to the wings attached to his back. The wings which were not there last time Dean saw his friend.

They were black, though they flickered all the colors of the rainbow when they caught the light—almost like an oil spill—and were nothing like Dean would have imagined angel wings if he'd ever been asked what they would look like. Except attached to Cas—even looking like a Build-a-Bear as he did at the moment—they looked even more magnificent than Dean would have even thought possible on the mortal plain. They looked silky, and Dean could feel something inside him itching to reach over and bury his hands on the feathers. To feel whether they were as soft as they looked.

"Cas, why do you have wings?" Sam asked, breaking Den out of his thoughts before his arm could do much more than raise slightly, a gesture he smoothly translated into rubbing the back of his neck. He was glad to hear that Sam was able to see the wings too, otherwise he would have to assume he'd just gone insane, even if Sam didn't sound anywhere near as awe-inspired as he really should have.

"I've always had wings," Cas sighed like it was obvious, wandering over to the table with Dean's breakfast on it and standing on his tiptoes—do toy bears even have toes? Dean was so confused—to peer up at it.

Gabe laughed loudly, looking like he was a moment away from falling over while he watched Cas with glee. "You're right Sasquatch, normally his wings are as hidden as mine are right now, but it seems that he can't do that right now, and that leaves him here all cute and feathered as well as fluffy."

"Shut up Gabriel," Cas muttered, climbing onto the chair and grabbing some of the bacon off Dean's breakfast burger. He seemed able to eat, which Dean was a bit unsure about seeing as, hello, that was a stuffed bear! But he didn't actually do anything to stop Cas. He felt like he should really be getting annoyed, or at the very least asking Cas what he was doing, that was his bacon after all! But Gabe wasn't lying when he said that Cas was cute, and he looked so happy with the bacon, and Dean really didn't feel like stopping such a simple thing that was making Cas smile in that way.

"Wait, why did you bring him here?" Sam asked him suddenly, "surely Cas would be safer in Heaven, or somewhere that no humans will see his wings and realize that angels exist—or, you know, see a moving toy bear and panic thinking that Toy Story is real."

"Easy," Gabe shrugged, "I need to go and figure out how to reverse this, but I can't leave Cassie all alone while he's defenseless."

"Ohh," Dean grinned, sitting down on his bed and finally pulling his socks on, something he only just remembered he hadn't already done, "we're your glorified babysitters! Bearsitters?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Gabe grinned back, "you're not glorified anything."

"Thanks Gabriel, I'm really feeling the love over here," Dean laughed, standing up and grabbing his coffee—which was thankfully still warm. He looked at his burger, planning to grab it to eat as well, but Cas was still picking at it and Dean wasn't going to steal his food back when Cas was clearly enjoying it.

He walked back to his bed and sat down to sip his coffee, ignoring Sam's knowing look when he saw Cas still with the burger. Dean knew that Sam would do the same, it wasn't like any sane person would be able to say no to their little feathered friend. He might not have tried it yet, but Dean was certain that his puppy dog eyes would be ten times better than Sam's had ever been.

"So what's the plan anyway?" Dean asked, leaning back on his elbows and trying not to get lost in Cas' eyes like he normally did. It felt weird when Cas looked like a toy bear, even if he really wasn't acting like one.

"I'm planning to stay here for now, do some research, try to figure out who cast the spell, or at least how to reverse it, and then try to reverse it."

"Okay, so we don't actually have to do anything," Dean checked, feeling like there had to be a catch somewhere. This was Gabriel after all.

"I mean, you're going to be keeping an eye on a winged bear," Gabe shrugged, "and maybe he'll continue to act normal and it'll just be like normal, or maybe he'll turn into a literal winged plushie bear."

"That might happen?"

"I won't know until I find the spell," Gabe shrugs, "but even if it does, it'll be your problem, not mine."

"You just really hate plushies," Cas sighed, finishing the burger and wiping his hands on the napkin in front of him. "It appears that whatever caused this," he gestured to his small fluffy vessel, "has affected my grace in some way, as I'm finding myself able to taste food. Whether that means I'm going to have to eat and drink is yet to be seen, but taste is a yes." He hopped off his chair then, and walked over to sit next to Dean on his bed, his little wings flapping as he moved like a little blackbird.

"Sue me, I don't like their emotionless, beady, eyes. They look like if they could walk, they would murder, and I don't trust you not to turn into a walking, murdering, plushie!" Dean seriously hoped that wasn't a story behind that. "And that's fine, I'm sure Sam and Dean can deal with feeding an angel bear. They have to feed themselves after all."

Dean wasn't sure if Gabe continued talking, all his attention now on the wings which were just a few inches from his hand. It took everything in him to stop himself from reaching out, even though he knew it would be beyond rude. There was something screaming in Dean's head, telling him to feel how soft they were, and it was only Dean's skill of repressing literally everything that meant he could hold back.

Clearly there was something going on here, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what it was… scratch that. He definitely didn't want to know what it was.

He'd managed to get this far by ignoring everything he didn't want to look at too closely, and he couldn't exactly see that changing any time soon.

Chapter Text

Gabe was staring at the book in front of him like it was the most interesting thing in the world, and Dean couldn't remember him ever concentrating that much on anything that wasn't pranks or candy. It really reminded him just how much Gabe actually cared about Cas. It was easy to forget sometimes, especially when Gabe spent half his time making jokes, and the other half eating candy. It was easy to forget Gabe was Gabriel, the archangel. It was easy to forget that Gabe was just as ride or die about family as Dean was. 

They were pretty similar when Dean really thought about it, which was probably why he didn't think about it very often.

Gabe was reading through one of the many books about angels Sam had managed to gather over the years, with an extra book about curses open on the page about transfiguration curses next to him, trying to find some information about how they should expect Cas to be affected, whether it would get worse, how it would react with his grace, all of that stuff. It was important stuff to know, and Dean was glad that he was being responsible for once, seeing as he knew that he would struggle to know what to look for, while Gabe seemed to know exactly what he needed.

Sam was helping Gabe, working his own small pile of books as he looked for any information that could be useful. He was mainly focusing on the curse side, rather than the angel side, but he was cross-checking anything he found with Gabe's knowledge, to see if what he was reading would be any different due to Cas' grace. The general consensus they seemed to have come to was yes, Cas' grace would change it a lot, they just hadn't figured out how yet.

Dean wasn't helping with the reading.

He had been at first, flicking through a few books which Sam had handed him, but he'd been distracted and he wasn't normally any good at researching on a good day, so it had been a bit of a lost cause. Eventually Sam had just taken his books away, and Gabe had told him to keep Cas entertained before he glared a hole into the carpet. It felt a little bit patronizing, being delegated to bear sitting—the way he could physically feel Cas' glare on the side of his face made him think that he should really stop forgetting that angels could read minds—but Cas had been getting bored, and Dean wasn't exactly helping, so now he was here, trying to figure out how to keep a not-quite-plushie-not-quite-millennia-old-angel entertained. It was about as easy as it sounded.

"What do you want to do?" Dean asked, sitting with his legs tucked under on the rug which decorated the motel room floor. It felt weird to be sitting in front of his friend when he was somehow this small. His brain was confused, seeing a stuffed bear but knowing it was actually his millennia old best friend who would probably smite him if he tried to baby-talk him.

"What do plushies normally do?" Castiel's voice was just as serious as always, his grave tone coming from a plushie was somewhere between hilarious and horrifying and Dean wasn't quite sure which one it was more. He simultaneously wanted to laugh and cry every time Cas opened his mouth, but he also knew that he should do neither. 

Cas' wings were tucked tightly behind his back, and Dean was having to physically stop himself from staring at them, especially every time they twitched, which they seemed to do every couple of minutes.

"I don't know," Dean shrugged helplessly, "it's not like most plushies come to life and start getting bored!" Cas tilted his head, the action looking even more like a baby bird than normal.

"That teddy bear did," Cas pointed out, "I remember you telling me about it."

Dean pauses for a moment, confused about what Cas was talking about. Teddy bears coming to life?

Oh.

Now Dean remembered.

"Yes but that was different. He was actually a plushie, not an angel turned into a bear like you are. He was also depressed, so please don't make him your role model."

Cas squinted like he was about to ask why he would make a depressed bear his role model, but he shook his head and carried on.

"I can't do anything I'd normally do, my vessel is a literal toy, and for some reason I'm bored, which seeing as I used to be able to spend centuries not doing very much at all, is a very unfamiliar feeling."

"Ah," Dean whispered. He could see Cas' problem. He'd spent his entire life bored. Waiting for John to come home after hunts, long car rides, empty motel rooms. If his childhood had given him one skill, it was the ability to stop himself from being bored. He still wasn't patient, and he got fiddly if he had to sit for long periods of time without anything to focus on, but he was very good at finding himself things to focus on. "I'm sorry Cas."

"You're not the one who cursed me," Cas shrugged, "you're helping me. I should be the one apologizing for inconveniencing you."

"You're not an inconvenience," Dean promised, "never an inconvenience, Cas."

"That means a lot to me, Dean," Cas said solemnly, "though we both know that's absolute bullshit. I'm a stuffed bear."

Dean was unable to hold his laughter back that time. The words would have been funny enough in any situation, but paired with the complete seriousness Cas said it with, and the grumpy face on Cas' now pint sized furry vessel, it was too hilarious for Dean to ignore. He rocked back and forth on the rug, barely able to breathe through his laughter, and every time he thought he was about to stop, he would just have to look up at Cas' unimpressed face and fluffy wings and he'd be off again.

"Do you have any suggestions for what we can do?" Cas asked, apparently deciding to ignore Dean's laughter, which honestly was probably the better choice. Anything more he tried to say would probably just make Dean laugh even more when it was coming from a fucking Build-a-Bear. It took a couple of minutes before he had stopped laughing enough to breathe and talk again, during which Cas seemed to get tired of him, and started frowning—though it was definitely fond—and even went as far to cross his arms over his tiny chest, looking the very picture of a grumpy child, who was somehow a bear, even with the addition of wings on his back.

"Cartoons?" Dean suggested, trying to come up with something which wouldn't be too distracting for Gabe and Sam, and something which Cas wouldn't get bored of too quickly. Dean had a great many happy memories of cartoons from when he was younger—and also from literally last week—and he was fairly sure that Sam would agree seeing as he had joined Dean watching them from pretty much when he was born, even if he didn't actually understand them until he was older.

Cas hummed thoughtfully, making this decision with the same seriousness as he made tactical decisions and the same carefulness as he made world ending or world saving decisions.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," he said eventually, pushing himself into standing and jumping up onto the bed closest to the television, his wings flapping as he jumped before folding against his back when he settled. He left Dean sitting on the rug, and didn't bother looking back to check that Dean had followed to turn some cartoons on. It was like he was just assuming that Dean would follow, which unfortunately was true.

He grabbed the remote as he stood up, flipping through the channels until he found one playing some reruns of Scooby Doo. He sat down next to Cas', sitting on his hands to stop himself from doing something he would regret while he was distracted—the light glinted off Cas' dark wings, almost taunting him as Dean tore his gaze away and back onto Scooby Doo.

He remembered this episode, though this wasn't one of the ones he knew exactly what was going to happen, and quickly found himself caught up in the story-line, only looking away from the television every couple of minutes to check that Cas was enjoying it. He looked a little bit confused, like he wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at, but he seemed to be enjoying it, and once they finished the first episode he didn't ask to change the channel before the next one started.

"Gabe, I think I've found something," Sam said, reaching out to push the book he was holding towards Gabe. Gabe read what Sam pointed out, and then his eyes went wide and he grabbed his own book, desperately skimming down the page.

"Ah ha!" Gabe cheered, jumping up in his seat without removing his eyes from the page. "Here we are. Just like I thought."

Instantly the room was silent, everyone waiting for Gabe to continue. Sam abandoned his remaining books to lean back in his seat, carefully watching Gabriel. Cas seemed to physically perk up, his wings lifting now that there was a bit more information available. Dean however, didn't feel excited about Gabe and Sam finding some new information. 

He felt useless. He'd been so bad at researching they'd made him babysit, when Cas was clearly independent enough to not need watching, even with a stuffed body, and really they didn't really need Dean to sit there. Not when anyone could turn some cartoons on, and Cas hadn't exactly needed anything while he was watching.  Dean had been so useless they'd created him a job that wasn't actually needed, just to get him out of their way.

Dean shook his head, trying to shift his  thoughts. How useless he was wasn't important right now, finding out what was going on with Cas was. When he zoned back into the moment, Cas was staring at him with what looked like concern, but Dean just turned back to Gabe before he could say anything, and desperately hoped Cas wouldn't try to push.

"The spell the other angel cast changed his vessel, as we can all see," Gabe started just then, gesturing to where Cas was sitting next to Dean on the bed, "but from what I can see here about the spell, his grace was also messed with."

"So why is he acting normal?" Dean interrupted, "he seems exactly the same as he always does—no offence," he quickly added, not wanting to offend Cas by suggesting he acts like a plushie bear or anything, "but if his grace has been messed with, shouldn't he be acting… I don't know, different?"

Cas chuckled quietly, his wings shaking along with the rest of his body while he laughed. "Angels aren't built in the same way humans are," he said, his voice sounded almost fond, but Dean wasn't sure if that was actually there, or if he was just hearing what he wanted to hear.

"Not to mention the fact that Cas is millennia old," Sam pointed out, "so maybe he's changed a bit, but he's been around for so long that doesn't make much difference and it's still him." Dean knew that it was true, but there was something he hated about the reminder. He hated being reminded of how small a part of Cas' life he had been a part of, hated the reminder that his entire life was just a blip in the long existence of Cas'.

"Exactly," Gabe agreed, "I believe that Cas' grace has been changed back to a more instinctual time, probably as a defense mechanism to hide from his vessel turning into a fluffy bear, though I guess in human terms it's more like your teenage years. I just need to figure out when exactly."

"Does it make much difference?" Dean asked.

"Definitely," Gabe said, "it'll change how he acts while he's like… well, that," he points at Cas again, "and will almost definitely change the antidote as well."

"I guess we've got more research to do," Sam chuckled, pulling another book towards him.

"I'm going to have some questions for Cas," Gabe said slowly, "and you two won't be able to join us."

"Because we're not allowed to hear what you're talking about?" Dean was confused. What secrets could Cas and Gabe have from them by this point?

"Exactly," Cas nodded, stretching his back out and pushing off the bed, his wings stretching to their full length as he did so. "I would prefer to finish this episode first, while you do some research, but then we can go. For a bit."

Gabe sent a weird look at Dean, which he couldn't understand. He hadn't done anything! Before saying, "Don't worry Cassie, it won't take long." And then he returned to his books, and Cas returned to the episode of Scooby Doo, as though nothing had happened.

Chapter Text

"Alright, we can go," Cas announced two full episodes of Scooby Doo later. Dean had known both of them from his childhood, and they had been old favorites, but he hadn't even been able to enjoy them because he had been uncomfortably sitting next to Cas, trying to figure out what was going on and why he hadn't already started moving when he'd told Gabe he would be ready to go already. Gabe hadn't objected, but it wasn't like Cas to say one thing and do another, especially not when it was his brother. If he said he would be ready by the end of the episode, that's what he meant, and yet that wasn't what he was doing right now.

Which meant something was wrong.

And yet every time Dean had opened his mouth to suggest they stopped watching, Cas would seem to predict what he was going to say and send him a stare which shut Dean right up. He didn't even know what it was about the stare that made Dean snap his mouth closed and do as he was told, there was just a power in Cas' piercing blue eyes that even in the face of a fluffy bear, Dean couldn't ignore.

"Alright then," Gabe grinned, though he must have noticed that it had been longer than he'd been told it would be, "let's go then! Dean, Sam, don't do anything stupid while we're gone."

Dean didn't bother dignifying it with an answer, just waved his hands in a shoo gesture, and waited for the telltale noise of flapping wings. There wasn't much stupid they could do while Gabe and Cas were gone, unless they were planning to be gone for a couple of hours, which seemed unlikely seeing as Cas was little more than a bear in a trenchcoat and was vulnerable to angels, and humans.

"Something's wrong with Cas," Dean announced matter-of-factly the second the angels were gone, turning to stare at Sam and wait for his response. He was unable to hide all of the concern he was feeling, but he doubted Sam would point it out.

"Well yeah," Sam rolled his eyes and Dean just knew he wasn't understanding already, "his vessel is a plushie, of course there's something wrong."

Dean sighed in frustration, trying to figure out how to explain it to Sam so that he would be as worried as he should be. "That's not what I'm talking about! He told Gabe they could go once he finished that episode, and then actually left two episodes later. That's not normal for him!"

"Maybe being a bear has thrown him off a bit, maybe this is due to his grace being messed with. He might just be easily distracted right now." Sam didn't sound worried at all, and his sheer logicalness just annoyed Dean, instead of calming him down.

Sam did have a point, maybe it was nothing big, but Dean was still concerned. Because he knew Cas. And this wasn't anything like the Cas he knew. But he also knew there was no point arguing his points if Sam wasn't going to listen, especially because most of his argument was just 'this doesn't feel right' which probably wouldn't go down well with Mr Nearly-was-a-lawyer.

"What do you think they're talking about?" he asked instead, inclining his head to where Cas and Gabe had been standing before they flew away. He hated the reminder of how easy they found it to leave, how easily Cas could just flap his wings and be gone without a trace, and Dean could never see him again.

"Angel stuff, maybe something to do with their instincts?" Sam suggested distractedly, still reading his book and looking nowhere near as interested as Dean felt he really should be. This was exciting new angel stuff, and normally Sam was all over that, but he didn't seem to care at all this time.

"But why would they be hiding it from us then?" he sighed, finally voicing the question that had been niggling at him since Gabe said that he and Cas would need to go, "there isn't much we don't already know about them! Why are they hiding this in particular?"

"So they should be allowed their secrets just because they've told us other things?" Sam asked, and even he put it like that it made Dean feel like an asshole. "It's not like they know everything about us is it? I don't see why this is bothering you so much." Dean didn't know why it was bothering him so much either, he just knew he hated the fact that something was going on with Cas, and he didn't know what it was.

"Look, Dean," Sam started, hesitant in the way which told Dean there was no way he was going to like what Sam was about to say. "I'm worried about you." Dean sighed. He'd been right. He really did not like it. It wasn't Sam's job to be worried about him. He'd spent his entire life making sure that Sam didn't know enough to worry about him, and he hated that he couldn't keep enough hidden anymore to continue that.

"I'm fine," Dean said quickly, not even trying to be convincing. It wasn't like it mattered if he was okay or not, all he ever did was slow his family down, and the fact they kept him around should be more than enough.

It wasn't, but that was his problem, not theirs.

His thoughts and his feelings and his desires and his shames were his problems, and he refused to burden someone else with them, especially when the moment he tried to share he just knew they would run away.

Everyone always did.

"No you're not! You haven't been for weeks, and we both know it! You've barely been sleeping, you've seemed unsettled, you haven't even been eating like you normally do!"

None of that was wrong. Dean couldn't sleep when Cas was gone, like he had been recently, his worry over the angel and… something else he couldn't name, keeping him awake long into the night. Both the other two were similar problems. Things just weren't right when Cas wasn’t around, and although Dean managed to hide it most of the time, there were some things Sam couldn't not pick up on when they basically lived out of each other's pockets.

"Don't even try to deny it," Sam interrupted the second Dean opened his mouth, "you're doing it right now! Fiddling and shifting and zoning out!"

"I'm fine," Dean said quickly, before Sam could interrupt him again, and it didn't even matter if they both knew it was a lie, because Sam wasn't getting anything more out of Dean.

The sound of wings flapping stopped Sam from continuing the conversation, and Dean couldn't actually tell if he was more pleased about the fact Cas was back, or the fact it stopped Sam from continuing trying to worry about him.

"We're back!" Gabe announced obnoxiously, as though either Sam or Dean could have missed their arrival.

"Have you managed to figure it out?" Sam asked, standing up and stretching his back out before flopping down on the free bed.

"Yep, I'm fairly sure I have," Gabe grinned, "just need to check one more thing."

"And then you'll share with the class?" Dean grumbled.

"Yes, and then I'll tell you what you need to know."

Sam and Gabe continued the conversation as Gabe pulled a book out of thin air, but Dean was instantly distracted by Cas who all but stomped back to the bed Dean was sitting on, completely ignoring Dean as he turned back to the cartoons Dean had never actually turned off.

There was definitely something wrong.

He kept on shifting as though staying still was uncomfortable for him. He almost seemed jumpy, just the slightest movement from Dean enough to make him twitch. Dean slightly shifted his weight and Cas was instantly throwing his head round to stare at him, no matter how many times it happened.

"Hey Cas, everything okay?" Dean asked carefully while on television the Scooby gang tried to make sense of the clue Shaggy had just found. Cas looked around at him, his scowl only lessening slightly as he made eye contact with Dean.

"Yes, everything is fine," he said, sounding robotic like he had when Dean had first met him, no emotion or friendliness in his tone. Dean wished he'd never taught the angel to just say he was fine when he clearly wasn't.

"Dude," Dean sighed, "don't bullshit me, I can tell-"

"Dean," Cas interrupted, his voice so hard Dean couldn't have continued even if he'd wanted to, "who are you to lecture me about bullshitting about my feelings? When I bet you that you've lied about your own within the last day." Cas wasn't wrong. He was about as far from being wrong as he could get.

"That doesn't mean I can't worry about you," Dean muttered with a pout, "is it so bad that I just want you to be better than me?"

Cas sighed loudly, clearly unimpressed. "If you wanted that, you would be trying harder to make yourself better."

"Maybe I don't care about myself so much," Dean muttered under his breath, but he didn't say it loud enough for anyone else to hear, saying instead, "well then I guess you'll have to be the one being the good influence."

Cas rolled his eyes, stretching his back and flexing his wings, an uncomfortable grimace twisting his face for just a moment. Dean couldn't help the way his eyes drifted to Cas' wings as they glinted in the light of the television, nor the way his hands itched to touch. The chest felt too tight, while simultaneously feeling like it was going to float away if nothing forced him back into his body, and while Dean continued being concerned about Cas, he also started to get a little bit concerned about himself.

He'd had times before when he felt—weird would be the nicest way to put it—but this was even more than that. This was like the weird cherry on top of the weird cake… the apple on top of the pineapple upside down cake. It was fucking weird!

"Alright, got it," Gabe announced loudly to the room, "Just as I suspected from our conversation, Cas' grace has reverted back to his late fledgling stage."

Dean had no idea what that meant, but from what he did know, fledglings were baby birds. So what? Cas' grace was a child? "What does that mean in human age groupings?" he asked, trying to understand how old Cas was mentally.

"They don't really compare," Gabe grimaces, "if I had to group it, I'd say adult, but with the instincts of whatever age group of yours is the most hormonal."

"So an adult with a teenager's hormones," Sam hummed, "in the body of a stuffed bear." Dean couldn't help but feel that meant Cas was probably similar to how Dean was when he was a teenager. All the hormones without the leeway for the angst. John would have killed him if he'd been distracted from the hunts, or if he'd let Sam get hurt because he was angsting over something that wouldn't even matter in the long run.

"So what does this mean for his… instincts or whatever?" Dean asked carefully, side-eyeing Cas as though he'd be able to see what his instincts were telling him.

"Well, and I want to preface this by telling you that I wouldn't be telling you this in any other situation" Gabe sighed in what sounded like disgust, but continued, "at about this point in life, angels start looking for a mate. Another creature who they will spend the rest of their lives with."

"Angels have mates?" Dean asked in shock, amazed that he had never heard of this before.

"Yes and in any other situation you wouldn't know anything about them. We keep it a secret for a reason."

"Wait… so why are you telling us?" Sam asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Because, you're going to need to be aware of it to stop Cas from doing anything he will regret," Cas huffed loudly, but didn't turn away from Scooby Doo or try to add anything to the conversation, "he might see something or someone—angels can mate with humans and monsters as well as other angels—and think he wants to mate with them. It'll be your job to make sure he doesn't."

"Did he mate last time? When his grace was actually that age?" Dean asked with a sinking feeling in his chest. "Is there a Mrs Castiel out there who we don't know about?" And why do I care? He finished silently, unable to ignore the coldness in his veins at the thought of Cas having a mate up in Heaven, a special someone who he'd been hiding all this time.

Gabe gave him a slightly knowing look, though what he knew was beyond Dean, before saying, "No, he never found anyone he wanted to spend forever with, but that doesn't mean he won't think he has this time!"

Sam nodded seriously, and agreed to keep an eye out to make sure that didn't happen, but Dean found his thoughts wandering. He wanted Cas to be happy, of course he did! Cas was his best friend.

So why had the thought of Cas being happy for the last millennia with an unknown mate made Dean's stomach drop? Why did that thought make him feel physically sick?

Chapter Text

"Alright," Gabe announced, putting the last of his books away and standing, very clearly about to fly away. "I've got all the information I can get from here, so I'll have to leave Cassie with you guys for now. Okay?"

Dean wasn't sure it was completely okay. He wasn't about to say Cas couldn't stay, Cas was his best friend, but at the same time, he wasn't sure they were ready for this. What if something went wrong? Why if Cas got hurt and they didn't have Gabe around to heal him? What if some weird baby angel stuff happened and Sam and Dean didn't know what to do?

"That's fine," Sam answered before Dean could voice any of his concerns. "Go and fix this Gabe, we'll keep Cas safe until you manage it." And Gabe looked so thankful, and Cas looked so relaxed that he couldn't bring himself to counter it. They could deal with looking after Cas, and if anything went wrong, they could pray to Gabriel. He'd almost certainly come running if they said there was something wrong with Cas.

"Thanks guys," Gabe smiled, "I don't know what I'd have done if I'd had to drag him around with him while he was this vulnerable." For the first time since he'd arrived, Dean saw how taxing this entire situation really was for Gabe. He cared about Cas, but Dean had known that already, what he was seeing now was the full truth. Cas was to Gabe, what Sam was to Dean, and he was certain there was a story there, but he guessed it could wait.

"No problem," Dean spoke up, "Cas is always welcome wherever we are. And he's definitely saved our asses enough times for us to owe him this."

Castiel looked away from Scooby Doo for long enough to squint at Dean, a meaning in the short look that Dean couldn't translate—not pleasant for Dean, seeing as he was used to being able to read Cas like a book—before he turned back to his show without a word. A moment of worry danced through Dean's gut, but he didn't say anything.

Cas would be fine. Gabe would sort this whole thing out, and they'd get the normal Cas back.

A flutter of wings later, and Gabe was gone.

Almost instantly Cas decided he was bored of Scooby Doo, standing up on the bed and starting to jump up and down, his wings flapping with the movement and his fur bouncing. It was disturbingly un-Cas-like, even if the smile which lit up his face was the happiest smile Dean had seen on his face in years.

"Don't jump on the bed," Dean warned him, putting on his best parent voice which had always worked against Sammy when he was a child.

It didn't work against Cas.

Probably because he was a stuffed bear with messed up grace, rather than a child, but that wasn't the point. He just kept on bouncing, as though Dean hadn't said a thing. Dean glanced over at Sam, looking for some help, but Sam just shrugged and continued with whatever he was doing.

"Cas," Dean said again, putting his hands on his hips.

"Nope," Cas honest to Chuck giggled, reaching out to pat his paw clumsily through Dean's hair, before he carried on jumping.

"Cas! Get down before you hurt yourself!" Dean shouted, his anger reaching boiling point as Cas' jumping brought him closer and closer to the edge of the bed.

"You can't tell me what to do-," Cas singsonged, the end of his sentence disappearing into a mumble which Dean couldn't hear.

"That's it," Dean sighed, grabbing Cas out of the air and spinning around to place Cas down on the ground.

The glare he got in response was almost enough to make his knees buckle. He knew Cas' eyes were piercing—even surrounded by toy fur—and often felt like they were staring at Dean's very soul, but this was something else. He refused to apologize, but Cas was really making him feel like he should.

Cas' wings started physically vibrating, rising up until they were spread out above his head in a gesture that should have felt threatening, and kind of did, but also kind of… didn't… Dean had no idea what he was feeling, but it was weird.

"Cas?" Dean asked in confusion, and that seemed to be enough to snap Cas out of whatever was going on. He refolded his wings against his back, and stepped back out of Dean's personal space. Dean glanced round to see what Sam thought of what had just happened, but Sam was staring at his phone, completely engrossed and not paying any attention to Dean or Cas. "What was that?" Dean asked, but he didn't get an answer. Cas just shook his head and climbed back onto the bed, hugging his knees to his chest and hiding his head with his wings.

It was really weird, and Dean couldn't stop himself from getting even more worried than just before. At least when Cas was basically threatening him, Dean had been able to see that he wasn't hurting. Right now Cas could be silently crying his eyes out and Dean wouldn't know.

"Cas?" Dean asked hesitantly, hovering awkwardly just by Cas' shoulder. He didn't want to touch Cas if he didn't want it, but his hands were itching with the need to make things better, and seeing as he was awful at emotions, touch was the only thing he could actually do to help.

"I'm okay," Cas promised, not moving out of his protective curl.

"What just happened?" Cas seemed to be acting much more normal than before, but Dean still had no idea what was going on.

"It's my instincts, I'm sorry, they're running haywire," Cas explained.

"Wait, so… is this you-you right now?"

"I've been me the entire time. My memories and everything are still unchanged, I'm me, but my instincts are a lot louder and harder to ignore than I remember them being, and sometimes they just… take over I guess, especially when its y- when it's something I've wanted all this time, and ignored my instincts telling me to get." Dean wondered what he was talking about. Had Cas wanted to watch Scooby Doo all this time? 

Dean still didn't understand, but he supposed it didn't really matter. What mattered was keeping Cas safe until Gabe could fix it all.

"It's okay," he told Cas, even though he didn't fully believe what he was saying, "Gabe will fix all this, and in the meantime, what's the worst that can happen? Your instincts so far just seem to be slightly weird behavior we'd expect from someone who's never been bored before, I think we can deal with some Scooby Doo and some jumping on the bed," Cas opened his mouth as though he was going to correct Dean, like something about that statement had been wrong, but no words escaped his mouth, so Dean continued, "apparent worst case scenario, your grace starts wanting a mate, but there aren't exactly any possible partners in here, and I don't see any trips to the park in our near future, so don't worry Cas, I think we can deal." Cas seemed to wince at something Dean had said, but he didn't have time to analyze it, leaning forward to pull Cas into a hug, burying his hands in Cas' surprisingly soft fur, letting himself take comfort from it as well as giving it to the angel.

"I'm going to get some food," Sam announced just then, maybe waiting until their moment was finished, maybe not aware of it in the first place. It wouldn't be the first time Sam had accidently timed something perfectly. Sam stood up and grabbed his wallet off the table, "Cas needs to eat at the moment it seems, and you didn't eat much breakfast. Not to mention the fact that if we're going to be here until Gabe gets back, we do not want to start getting hungry and grumpy."

"YES!” Cas practically yelled, jumping to his feet. “Get some food for my- for me.” His instincts had seemingly taken him over again, and although Dean would assure Cas that it was fine until he was red in the face, the way it was worsening was worrying him. Every time Dean looked, Cas' behavior kept changing was worrying. Dean sent Sam a look of 'are you as worried about this as you are?' and got an equally concerned look in response. They would have to talk about this when Sam got back, maybe they could figure out what was going on with Cas and why he seemed to be changing so much.

"We'll be fine," Dean promised with a reassuring grin, "I can deal with Cas for a minute. I dealt with you for years, didn't I?"

Sam laughed, "yeah, you did, and as far as I'm aware I turned out great!" They both knew that was a lie. Sam was just as fucked up as Dean was, but to be fair, most of that wasn't Dean's fault. Just under half, maybe, but not most.

"Go on, get gone," Dean laughed, "and don't forget my pie!"

"I won't," Sam called over his shoulder, and then he was gone, the rumble of the impala following him as he drove away, leaving Dean and Cas alone.

"Right then," Dean sighed, "what now?" Cas didn't answer, which didn't really surprise Dean, but also didn't help at all towards him being able to find something to fill the time with. After a couple of minutes of silence, Dean reached out to change channels to put some different cartoons, figuring that it would keep at least one of them entertained, even if that one would end up being Dean. Cas didn't complain, or comment in any way, he just sat on the bed next to Dean, shuffling closer every time Dean focused on the screen until he was pretty much plastered against Dean's side, his wings frustratingly not touching Dean at all.

"Cas? What're you doing?"

No response, just the furry arms around his arm tightening in a way Dean had never imagined toy arms could, and huge blue eyes looking up at Dean almost pleadingly. It seemed bear Cas could do puppy eyes, and they were dangerously effective, just as expected.

"Right, well," Dean had no idea what to say. There was no one else around, just him and a slightly weird acting Cas. Hopefully Gabe would figure everything out quickly, and Dean would no longer have to worry if excessive clinginess was normal for small angels or not. He turned back to the cartoons, deciding to just let Cas do his thing and worry about it if it got any worse than a bit of clinginess.

They watched a couple of episodes, Cas didn't seem to be paying much attention to the television, but he wasn't doing anything dangerous either, so Dean just let him cling to his arm with his wings slowly changing between different positions, which probably meant something in angel language, but didn't look like anything Dean could translate.

"Hey, buddy," Dean said a bit later when he tried to stand and Cas refused to let go of his arm. "I need the toilet." Cas just blinked up at him, still not saying a word. "So you're going to have to let go."

Instantly Cas' wings shot up until they were spread above his head like a canopy, his eyes widened and his arms clung impossibly tighter to Dean, almost to the point of pain.

"No." His voice was harsh, much harsher than Dean had ever imagined could come out of a body that small and fluffy, even with the wings attached to his back.

"Cas, this isn't really a choice. I need to go, and we've been over this-" he never managed to finish his sentence, Cas starting to talk over him almost the moment he mentioned going.

"No. You're not going anywhere." 

Dean wondered if this was normal angel behaviour, and couldn't help but feel like it probably wasn't. And sure, he'd never met an angel at it's instinctual stage—teenage angel?—whatever. He'd never met one. But the way the adults acted, he doubted they could go from this clingy to that asshoey normally. 

"I'm not going anywhere far, and I'll be right back," Dean promised, "but we've been over this, humans like privacy when they piss."

Cas muttered something, which Dean almost thought sounded like 'you don't need privacy from me' but this was Cas, even slightly weird Cas, so he was fairly sure that couldn't have been what it actually was. Cas had never wanted him as anything more than a friend, and Dean didn't have a problem with that. The angel wanted what the angel wanted. But he was completely sure that not even Cas' instincts could change purely friendship feelings into anything more. Dean must have just misheard.

"Sorry Cas," he shrugged, placing him on the bed and quickly rushing to the small bathroom, locking the door behind him. Within moments there was the sound of small feet running across the carpet, and hands—paws?—reaching up to grab the handle. Dean made sure to be quick, not wanting Cas to walk in on him—for either of their sakes—and was back out the door within a minute.

The second the door opened Cas was back on him, grabbing his leg and muttering something about good boys not hiding. Dean managed to stop the shiver that tried to run through his body, hating that after all this time his body still reacted like that to such simple words being directed at him. This was Cas, in a plushie's body. It didn't matter what it sounded like. He wasn't that skeevy.

The dark look Cas sent him wasn't sexual—thank god, Dean had no idea what he would have done if it had been. Probably run for the hills in disgust. He might be a deviant in many ways, but he wasn't a… he didn't even know what that would count as—but it was wanting in some way. Almost predatory, and Dean didn't know if he was supposed to be feeling afraid, or something else.

Chapter Text

They spent the next half an hour watching cartoons—though neither of them were actually watching them—Cas pressed as tightly against Dean's side as he could physically get, his arms and wings wrapped around Dean's stomach as though Dean was the teddy bear, and not the other way around.

Dean tried to ignore how Cas was holding him as though he was worried that if he let go for even a moment Dean would disappear. But… It was weird, and Dean had always struggled to ignore weird things. The way Cas was clinging didn't feel like he was scared, it felt like someone holding onto the leash of an unruly dog which they hadn't broken in yet.

Dean was kind of uncomfortable, but he'd promised to look after Cas and keep an eye on him, and more importantly this was Cas . This was his best friend . Sure, they'd had a rocky start, and Dean had… he'd never hated Cas, but if he'd been told back then that one day he would trust Cas with his life? He wouldn't have believed it for a second. He'd spent his life trusting his family and no one else.

That was different now. He trusted so many people, found himself a family and friends. And behind and above and alongside all of that, was Cas.

His first friend, his best friend, his… his everything.

He trusted Cas, always had and always would. But right now, with his friend glancing up at him with a glint in his eye, a kind of danger in the air that Dean hadn't felt since they had first met, Dean was really starting to rethink his beliefs.

"Ummm, so," Dean muttered, shuffling off the bed and nearly falling over when Cas didn't move. The angel yanked Dean back to the bed, his angel strength even more unproportional in his tiny, stuffing filled body.

"No." Cas said simply, pulling Dean until he was lying down on the bed, with Cas curled around his torso so there was no way for Dean to get up again.

"Okay, okay, not leaving," Dean muttered, his mind racing as it tried to keep up with what was going on. This was still Cas. Still the Cas he had always known, just smaller, fluffier, and with his grace running rampage. There was no reason for Dean to fear him, and seeing as Cas had never seen him as anything more than a friend, he didn't have to worry about that either. Fledglings were probably just really cuddly or something, and Cas' instincts were telling him to do this.

"Good," Cas muttered when Dean eventually relaxed into the bed, accepting he wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon, "very good, Dean. I knew you could be good." Dean tensed back up again, even as the words sent waves of joy through his body. He was being good for Cas… but… this wasn't right… this wasn't…

"No, stop that," Cas muttered, sitting up, his words harsh and domineering. "There is nothing wrong with anything." Dean could feel an odd fog starting to float through his mind, blocking out most of his worries.

"You're a fucking Build-a-Bear," Dean muttered, his words slightly slurred, "I can't- I shouldn't-"

"We both know that's not true," Cas interrupted, "I have the mind of an adult, the grace of a fully formed angel, and just the body of a teddy bear. I am no more a bear than an orca is a fish. Maybe I look similar, but I'm not."

"Orcas aren't filled with fish stuffing."

"That doesn't even make sense, Dean. My grace is recovering from the spell quicker than my vessel is," Cas shrugged.

"You still are physically a Build-a-Bear!"

"Are you saying you've never thought about me like this before? It has only been since I was transformed?" Cas questioned with a raise of his eyebrow, looking so much like he normally did that Dean found himself getting even more confused. It was Cas but he'd been turned into a bear, but it was still Cas, but his grace had been messed up so it also kind of wasn't.

"I'm so confused," Dean sighed, dropping his arm over his eyes.

"No," Cas muttered, pulling his arm off so that he could stare into Dean's eyes. "It's okay that you're confused, you don't have to think, just follow my lead. I won't let you do anything that I'm not comfortable with, and I'll make sure not to push you into anything you're not comfortable with either."

For a moment Dean actually thought about it. He'd always wanted something more with Cas, had loved him pretty much since they first became friends, and this seemed like… it seemed perfect. But Cas was in the body of a plushie, and if Dean agreed to this what would that make him? Cas promised they wouldn't do anything he wasn't comfortable with, but… what if Dean was comfortable with something… and didn't want to be? What if this revealed his deepest darkest desires that Dean never wanted to see the light of day? What if this was what it took for Dean to find out how awful a person he truly was?

It was all too much. Dean flew off the bed, backing into the corner and keeping plenty of space between him and Cas.

He couldn't just… he couldn't…

"Dean," Cas said, his voice low and warning in a way which didn't match with the small, cute, vessel he was standing in. "Don't run away from me."

Dean shook his head, pulling his knees to his chest. Every muscle in his body wanted to go to Cas, to apologize and do as he was told. But he couldn't. It wasn't right!

"Dean."

Dean curled up on the floor, his head buried in between his legs. This wasn't right! Sam had never been like this, John had never- no normal person had ever wanted to just relax and let someone else make the decisions for them, so Dean pretended he didn't either. He hid his true feelings. He pretended to be normal.

And yet here was Cas. In the vessel of a teddy bear, with his instincts running wild, breaking right past Dean's walls and not taking no for an answer.

"Make me a nest, Dean." It was so random, Dean had no idea where it had come from, but he also found every part of his being wanting to agree. He wanted to build a nest. He wanted to build Cas' nest. But he shouldn't! He was a human, and humans didn't do that!

"No, I don't even know how to do that!" he said, his voice sounding about as desperate as he felt. 

"Make me a nest," Cas growled, and Dean felt a bolt of lightning run through his body.

"No," Dean whispered, "no, no, I- I can't."

Cas stared at him, raising an eyebrow in the ultimate Dom brow, which was somehow not reduced in the slightest, despite being on the face of a soft bear. "Do it now, Submissive." And Dean knew he couldn't argue with that, however much he wanted to.

Dean slowly pushed himself away from the corner, walking to the bed which he had slept in the day before. He pulled the covers off, and the pillow, before going to the other bed and doing the same. He didn't know when Cas had moved, but he was now sitting at the desk, his short legs swinging as he watched Dean work.

He shook out the covers, staring at them. He had no idea what he was doing. He couldn't make a nest! That was a bird thing! And apparently an angel thing, but Dean wasn't either of them.

"Just follow your instincts," Cas suggested quietly, his gaze open and warm as he watched Dean. "Don't think it through too much. Just do it."

Dean nodded, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. The cover he was holding was carefully placed as a half circle as what would become the walls, and Dean carefully smoothed it out, shifting it little by little until it was right. Then he placed the second cover and the multiple pillows. Everything he had was placed, but it wasn't right! He was out of materials, but it wasn't done! He could feel his breathing speed up, but before he could start actually panicking Cas was there, almost definitely standing on something, a soft paw on Dean's shoulder.

"It's okay, it's alright. I'm here. Your Dom is here," Cas muttered, rubbing a hand up and down Dean's back, "here you go. I know it feels bad, but that's a good thing. It means I'm right. You are perfect for this- for me." Dean had no idea what Cas was saying, but at that moment it didn't seem to matter. He didn't open his eyes, but he knew he was being handed more blankets, as well as what he was fairly sure was a few of his flannels and… and Cas' trenchcoat, shrunken though it was. Even though he couldn't see it, Dean knew that was what it was. Could feel it in his bones. And it was perfect.

He continued carefully placing everything, smoothing each item out after he'd placed them. Layering the middle until it would be soft and warm, and reinforcing the edge so it'd be strong. The trenchcoat he placed last, putting it right where he would put his head if he was laying down.

And finally, it was complete.

He could feel himself breathing heavily as he stood there, strangely exhausted for the fact all he’d done was place a few blankets in a pile.

“Wow,” Cas breathed, prompting Dean to open his eyes and see what Cas was looking at. Other than bird nests, Dean didn’t have a huge scope to compare the nest on the bed between them to, but from what little he knew, it looked like a beautiful nest. It was sturdy and warm looking and Dean had no idea where all these feelings were coming from, but he really kinda wanted to go and lay down in it. “Stunning, I knew you would be able to do it,” Cas cooed, "the perfect submissive."

Dean blinked slowly a couple of times, feeling oddly like he was emerging from a trance, waking from a dream maybe. It was weird, and he didn't like it. He preferred it before, when he wasn't thinking, he was just acting. Now he had to think, he had to question everything, he had to rethink his actions and his thoughts and everything.

"Dean?" If Dean's eyes were closed he could have almost pretended that it was just Cas. Normal fully-sized non-fluffy Cas.

But his eyes were open. And Cas wasn't normal right now.

"Fuck," he muttered loudly, not quite able to regret it, but not quite okay with it either. Why had he done that? Why hadn't he stopped? Why had he felt so bad when he ran out of materials?

Why did putting Cas' trenchcoat where his head would go feel so right?

"Come on, Sub," Cas said, either not noticing or just ignoring Dean's internal struggle. He grabbed Dean's hand, gripping surprisingly strongly for how small he was, and dragged Dean towards the nest he had just built.

Dean was pushed down first, his head on the trenchcoat just as he'd imagined, and then Cas climbed in.

The nest was just as soft and warm as Dean had expected, as Dean had imagined, and for a split second he thought he was in Heaven—except he'd been to Heaven and this was much nicer—but then Cas settled, curled up half next to him, half on top of him, with his heavy wings covering most of Dean's body, and he realized he had been wrong before.

This was Heaven.

Cas' wings were like a weighted blanket, warm and fluffy and heavy enough to force Dean's soul back into his body, as well as silky smoothe when Dean allowed himself to lazily run a finger down one feather. Dean didn't think he'd ever been as grounded as he was in that moment, and after years of floating through his life, trying to cling to anything he possibly could, and failing every time, that meant a lot to him.

It meant everything to him.

"You're so good," Cas muttered, the words sending pleasure in waves down Dean's back, relaxing him even more until his eyes were half lidded and his breathing was about as calm as it had ever been. "You're going to be perfect for me. The perfect Sub." It didn't make sense, but it didn't need to. He'd made Cas happy. And that was all he needed.

Dean reached out, wrapping his arms around Cas. It felt right, to just lay here and hug his- he didn't know. Best friend? Cas was more than that. Brother? Definitely not. Lover? They'd never discussed it, or even suggested it outside of… this, so that was a no. Dean didn't know what Cas was to him, and normally he'd be fine with that, but he didn't know what it meant right now. Did Cas feel anything for him? Was this just his instincts insisting he find someone, and Dean was the closest and most available? Dean had no idea.

Dean loved Cas just as much as he always had, even with the Build-a-Bear vessel. But he wasn't physically attracted to him like normal—thank Chuck. Nothing made sense.

And so he did what he always wanted to do.

He buried his face, he closed his eyes, and he did his best to ignore his problems.

It had never worked before, but maybe this time the universe would give him a break and when he woke up all this confusion would just be a nightmare.

Chapter Text

Cas was still there when Dean woke up. His breathing was steady, and Dean guessed that he was probably asleep. He was glad about that; Cas being asleep made this so much easier.

He carefully slipped out from under Cas, moving slowly so that he wouldn't wake his friend up, and then the second he was free he bolted for the bathroom. He needed… he didn't even know. A shower maybe? All he knew was that he felt gross, and unfortunately not the physical kind of gross.

He felt like he'd taken advantage of Cas somehow. He knew that technically Cas had been in control the entire time, if anything Cas had taken advantage of Dean, except… yeah no. That wasn't what happened.

Cas hadn't taken advantage of Dean. He'd taken care of Dean. He'd given him the one thing he'd always wanted but never had the confidence to get. Cas had given him the freedom he'd always strived for.

But. Here was the problem.

Did Cas actually want that? Did Cas want… any of this? Or was his grace going wild, making him suggestible. Maybe he'd picked something up from Dean's actions, maybe he'd read Dean's mind, it didn't really matter.

What mattered was the fact that Dean felt like the worst person in the world, and if it wouldn't mean leaving Cas alone and defenceless against the angel's coming looking for him, Dean would be out that door and looking for a bar fight.

He'd been bad. And now he needed… he needed to hurt.

"Dean!" It was Cas, right outside the door from the sound of it, his plush paws unable to get any traction against the locked door. "Dean, open this door right now!"

Dean tried to stop himself, but his body moved without his permission and before he even realized what was happening, the door was open, and his arms were filled with a fuzzy teddy bear.

"Dean, thank dad," Cas gasped, squeezing Dean impossibly tight, "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there."

"Worried?" Dean asked skeptically, "did you think the toilet was going to eat me?"

"No, I thought you were going to hurt yourself!" Cas snapped, and the anguish in his tone was enough to pull Dean up short.

"What? No, Cas, it's okay, I'm okay. I wouldn't do that," he said, trying to ignore the little voice pointing out that planning to start a bar fight just to feel some pain definitely counted as hurting yourself. Cas didn't need to know about that, not when his fur was getting damp with tears Dean hadn't realized he could shed. 

It was such an impossible difference between the Cas from earlier, with the Dom brow who forced Dean to make him a nest, and the small bear now who was sobbing over the thought of Dean getting hurt.

"I'm okay, I promise."

"You're not," Cas sniffed, "and it's my fault."

"What do you mean?" Dean honestly had no idea what Cas was talking about. Sure, he'd been a little too persuasive, but he hadn't hurt Dean at all.

"You're in drop," Cas explained as though that meant anything to Dean. "You're human, and I let my instincts push too hard, and now you're in drop!" The words came with a fresh wave of tears, and Dean wished he could help, but he honestly had no idea what was going on.

"Cas- please stop crying," he tried. He didn't like it when Cas cried, especially not like this. Cas was millennia old, he was a warrior of God, but right now his instincts were a mess and he was sobbing his eyes out. "What do you need?"

"What- what I need doesn't matter," Cas sniffed, wriggling out of Dean's arms and using his strength to drag Dean along with him until he could push the human back into the middle of the nest. "One moment, let me just-" he rummaged around in the motel's cupboards, pulling out a large bar of chocolate—which Dean did not remember being in there earlier—and a bottle of juice—which definitely hadn't been in there earlier.

"Eat this, drink this," Cas ordered, handing them over then hovering by the side of the bed until Dean did as he was told. Dean had to admit, they did make him feel a bit better, a little bit less down, so maybe Cas had a point here, even if Dean still had no idea what was going on.

"I'm sorry I failed you," Cas whispered, climbing into the bed and curling up on Dean's chest, stroking a paw through Dean's hair in a way that would have felt so much nicer if he still had fingers.

"You didn't fail me. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But that's where you're mistaken," Cas sighed, his wings fluttering against his back uncomfortably. "I forgot you weren't an angel, and my instincts made me treat you like one, and I'm sorry about that."

Oh.

Oh.

Cas didn't want Dean. Not in any way shape or form. From the sound of it, he hadn't even been domming Dean because he thought he needed it.

His instincts had been running rampant, and Dean was just the unlucky bugger who got caught up in the middle of it all.

"It's okay, Cas," he sighed, "we'll just… not talk of this again. You don't have to apologize." He meant it, he really did. No matter how much he yearned for Cas' previous actions to have not just been a mistake, that had been all they were, and it would hurt less to just forget about it all.

"Dean- that's not-"

"It's fine, Cas," Dean interrupted, not in the mood to hear all of his friend's empty reassurances. It wasn't like he didn't understand. Cas wasn't the first person who had only settled for Dean because he was convenient, or easy, or they just knew he wouldn't come looking for more when they were done.

It wasn't the first time this had happened, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

He dragged himself out the nest, endlessly thankful when Cas didn't try to force him to stay, and dropped himself onto the floor in front of the TV. There was a Dr Sexy marathon on, so he pretended to be incredibly caught up in the story line he wasn't even following, and tried to blink back the tears he had no right in producing.

It was a mistake, and it was stupid for Dean to be this sad over a stupid mistake.

The door swung open just then, admitting his sasquatch of a brother who seemed too loud and large to be in their space. It had been quiet all morning, and the nest filled the space with just enough cozy energy that having a new person and his bags of food made it all seem… too much.

But that was wrong. Because this was Sam’s room too, of course he should be here, and it was stupid for Dean to be feeling so… terrotorial… over… he didn’t even know what! All he knew was that if he had feathers, they would be ruffled, and if he had fur it would be sticking up. He didn’t have any of that of course, he was a human after all, but Cas did have feathers… and now that Dean was looking, his wings seemed pretty ruffled, making him look even more poofy than he normally did.

“Burger for you,” Sam said, apparently immune to the tension suffocating Dean. He tossed a bag to Dean, nearly hitting him in the face when Dean didn’t expect it, though it was worth it when he opened the brown paper bag to find a delicious looking burger and a packet of fries.

“And for you,” Sam continued, tossing a bag to Cas. Sam pulled a face that told Dean he was thinking about similar things to Dean, namely the fact that Cas was a stuffed bear that needed to eat for some reason, and somehow could. Dean wasn’t getting rid of the idea that Cas didn’t actually need to eat, he just wanted to, but the point remained. He was a stuffed bear, who looked very excited to be pulling his burger out.

Excited for all of about ten seconds, that was, as mere moments later Sam walked over to sit on the chair which just so happened to be closer to Dean than Cas was, and suddenly all hell broke loose.

Okay. Maybe, Dean admitted to himself, that was a bit of an over exaggeration. But that’s how it felt!

Sam had only just sat down when Cas leapt to his feet—which didn’t do much seeing as he was about a foot tall, but the thought was there, flaring his wings in a way that was a lot more aggressive than the rest of him, and honest to Chuck growling as he stalked forwards. He kept going until he was stood between Sam and Dean, his glass eyes shining the blue of his grace as he stared Sam down. Dean tried to convince him to stop, but it was like Cas couldn’t even hear him, and Dean didn’t get so much of a twitch of acknowledgement from his friend.

“Cas?” Sam asked hesitantly, slowly standing up when it became clear Cas wasn’t about to back down. He retreated slowly, sitting down on the empty bed—and eyeing Cas’ nest carefully—and pretty much the moment Sam sat down Cas was deflating again, tucking his wings against his back. It was silent in the room for a long moment, before Cas finally broke it.

“My apologies, Samuel,” Cas said, and it truly proved how embarrassed he was, that he was using Sam’s full name again. “My- my instincts are a little, a lot, loud, right now.”

“It’s okay,” Sam promised, though he still looked a little disturbed—the effects of being growled at by a winged build-a-bear, Dean supposed. “Just, tell me when something happens next time, please? That was… unnerving.”

“I understand,” Cas nodded gravely, “I’ll try my best.” He sat down then to eat his burger, and no one pointed out the fact his wings were spilled across Dean’s lap, or the fact he was sitting so close to the man that their shoulders brushed every time one of them shifted.

It was probably the longest afternoon of Dean’s life, if he was being honest.

Cas was incredibly tense, and it seemed to be contagious, making the air in the room so thick Dean swore he couldn’t breathe properly. In fact, the only times Cas relaxed even slightly, was when he was sitting in the nest with Dean, or when he was physically clinging to Dean. 

It was… awkward to say the very least.

Dean felt exposed, certain that Sam could see every weak thought Dean had ever had while the animated plushie that was Dean’s best friend clung to his arm. He tried to shake it of, tried to act cool like this wasn’t the weirdest thing to ever happen to him—and that was saying something with the life Dean had—but he didn’t think his act was very convincing, not if the looks Sam was sending him from the other bed was anything to go off.

They were all watching TV—some boring documentary both Sam and Cas had wanted to watch—seeing as it seemed to be the only activity they could all do safely. If Sam so much as moved suddenly, Cas would flare his wings and very visibly have to bite back a growl. Dean didn’t have it much better. He wasn’t being growled at, but to put it this way, he didn’t think he was going to be leaving the nest any time soon.

Dean still didn’t know if Cas could sleep, but when he looked down at the angel part way through the documentary, he had his eyes closed and his wings blanketed across Dean’s lap. It was firm enough that Dean didn't think he could sneak away without disturbing him, but that might have just been the wings weight, rather than any conscious decision from Cas. He wanted to sink his fingers into those soft feathers just as much as before, but he did his best to pretend to be watching the documentary instead of watching Cas’ wings.

“Awww,” Sam cooed when he looked over, “he’s like a baby bird who’s imprinted on you. He thinks you’re his guardian.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s it,” Dean muttered under his breath, looking at the arm that was almost possessively gripping his waist. He didn’t think that was it at all.

Chapter Text

Gabe returned before Cas woke up again, a flutter of wings and a slight shift in the air all the warning they got before the angel was standing there with a pleased smile, and a large book under his arm. His joyful expression only dropped slightly when he spotted the nest, and Cas curled up inside it, which Dean couldn't fully understand. His instincts screamed, not sure if they were offended at the contempt Gabe seemed to have towards the nest he had built for his Do- for Cas, or whether they were screaming at having another angel around when he and Cas were both still vulnerable. He tried to ignore them, but wow he was not used to such vocal instincts.

Luckily for Dean, who thought he would die if Gabe figured out what was going on and confirmed all his suspicions, he had slipped away to use the toilet just moments before. Cas was alone in his nest, and Dean was walking around normally, and for all that Gabe knew that was how it had always been.

"Fuck," Gabriel swore, taking a good look at the nest that Dean had accidentally created. He could feel his spine straightening the closer the angel got, but he choked those feelings down. They weren't right, and thankfully for Dean if there was one thing he was good at, it was repressing his feelings. "Cas made this?" Gabe asked, looking directly at Dean. He wanted to be insulted, why would he know this over Sam? But it was true, he did know and Sam didn't, and really it made sense that Gabe could guess which one of them was most likely to have noticed it happening.

"Ummm, yeah." He was too embarrassed to admit the truth. Gabe knew how angels worked, and unless Cas was going completely off script, that would mean Gabe would know that Dean let himself be bossed around by a Build-a-Bear, and apparently liked it enough to make such an intricate nest without even realizing it.

And yeah, there was no way he was admitting that.

"Okay, good," Gabe sighed. He wiped a hand across his brow, and looked so relieved that Dean felt a little bad about lying. Clearly this was important, but right now, so was keeping his dignity. "Weird though. I didn't expect this time to be any different to last time, but I guess being a stuffed bear would do that to you." Gabe was talking to himself, but it was random enough that Dean felt the need to find out what it meant.

"What?"

Gabe blinked, looking like he hadn't meant to be talking outloud. "It's just-"

"If you're about to say it's some kind of angel secret, then stop right there," Dean interrupted, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Sam paying close attention to the verbal tennis match that was just starting. "If that nest means something, then I think it is kind of important that we know, don't you?"

Gabe sighed even louder than before, clearly not happy about being made to talk about this. Dean didn't feel an ounce of regret. Gabriel was the one who brought it up, and he was the one who had decided to bring the Winchesters into this.

"To put it simply, last time Cas went through this he wasn't the one making the nest." Dean just blinked, so Gabe scrunched his nose up, and elaborated. "Last time it was other angels who made Cas a nest."

"What, so Cas is like… a female bird?" Dean asked, thinking back on the documentary Cas had made him watch about snow buntings three weeks before.

"I very much doubt angels work like birds," Sam pointed out, "then again, a week ago I wouldn't have even thought that angels made nests."

"No, Cas isn't a female bird. Angels do things a little differently, angels don't have genders we have- you know what, I do not want to talk about this," Gabe shook his head, taking a seat at the small table in the room, and watching both the Winchesters carefully. He looked pleased when neither of them asked any more, Sam probably refraining out of loyalty, while Dean was too busy thinking about what Gabriel had said and linking it with his own experiences.

It was then that Cas started waking up. He blinked sleepily, and stretched, and Dean held his breath, waiting for a fluffy arm to grab him and drag him back to the nest, ruining any act he had going to keep Gabe convinced everything was fine.

It didn't happen.

Maybe Gabe's grace calmed Cas' instincts, maybe Cas was self aware enough not to give himself away, Dean didn't know. All he knew was that Cas woke up, and although he watched Dean extremely carefully, he didn't leave the nest.

"Hello, Gabriel," he said, his wings wrapping around his shoulders like a blanket. "Did you manage to find what you were looking for?"

"I think so," Gabe nodded, holding up the large, old looking, spell book. "I've found a spell. Unfortunately it's just our luck that it can only be done at midnight."

Dean swore, checking his watch. It was another eight hours until midnight. That meant another eight hours with Cas who was also a stuffed bear, and just so happened to turn impossibly bossy every now and again. Impossibly bossy in a way Dean couldn't refuse.

"I think we can live with that," Cas nodded, his gaze drifting away from Gabriel and ending up resting on Dean. Gabriel frowned, watching Cas suspiciously.

"Has he been acting… weird with either of you two?" Gabe asked carefully. It was clear to Dean that 'weird' wasn't the word Gabe was going for. Apparently they'd gotten the human censored version again.

"No, I don't think so," Dean shrugged. Technically, Gabe hadn't said what the definition of weird was. He could feel Cas' eyes on the back of his head, but Cas didn't correct his statement.

Sam nodded in agreement, then paused. "Actually, he did growl at me. And practically kidnap Dean."

"What?" Gabe turned to face Dean, his golden eyes almost as piercing as Cas' as they widened with what looked like worry. Dean had never known Gabe to be serious for such a long stretch of time, but apparently this was an incredibly serious matter if it could render even the Trickster serious.

"He's surprisingly strong, and surprisingly clingy," Dean shrugged, trying to play it off as no big deal. He wasn't sure if he managed, in fact if anything Gabe looked even more worried after he talked. Sam was watching him as well, his eyes squinted, like he knew Dean was lying—well of course he knew, he'd seen it all happen—and wasn't sure if he should tell Gabe or not.

"Did it feel like Cas was trying to take you as his mate?"

"No, not as far as I could tell," Dean answered and that was definitely a lie. The feeling of Cas' eyes on his back got even more intense, but again he wasn't corrected, and Dean felt the same grief from earlier bubbling up. Cas' instincts may have decided that Dean would do, but Cas hadn't, and that really shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. He knew Cas didn't want him, Cas had never wanted him as anything more than a friend—and even then it was just because Dean was the first one to teach him how to be human—and yet his heart complained. He never should have let himself get his hopes up when Cas made him make that nest, he should have known he would never be anyone's choice, he would be stuck being nothing more than the only option.

"Okay, just- keep me updated, alright? This is very important." Gabriel was fiddling with the corner of the book he was still holding, his eyes shifting between Cas, the nest, and both of the Winchesters. He knew he was missing something, Dean could see it in his eyes, it was just Dean's luck that he hadn't figured out what it was he was missing yet.

"Will do," Dean agreed, knowing he probably wouldn't. Actually scratch that, he definitely wouldn't. His failings weren't any of Gabe's business, and he would keep it all hidden for as long as he could, even if that included lying when he promised not to. Lying was basically his job by this point, this was no different to any of that.

Cas sighed loudly, his wings spreading so he took up as much space as possible, which still wasn't much due to his current vessel. "I'm right here, you know," he frowned, "I'm not actually a plushie, you can talk to me about stuff."

"Maybe I could, but I still can't trust you to tell me the truth," Gabe answered, and Dean knew for a fact that Cas was thinking the same thing as he was. I'm not telling the truth either was the only thing drifting through Dean's mind at that moment, and I can't tell them either, not without losing them. Because he would; he would lose them if they knew the truth.

"I'm nearly back to normal," Cas whined, and Sam choked on his own breath, almost definitely thinking about how only Cas could describe himself as 'nearly back to normal' while still in the body of a stuffed bear.

"Maybe," Gabe agreed, "but your instincts are still too wild for it to be safe. If they tell you to lie to protect whoever you decide to take as a mate, then you'll listen, won't you."

"Of course."

"Exactly." 

Dean frowned to himself. Was that what he was doing? Lying, to protect Cas? Or was he just protecting his own dignity, to keep his own perversions secret?

"Dean, please come and sit down," Cas sighed, and Dean felt himself freeze up. Fuck no, he couldn't let Gabe and Sam find out, not when he'd lied so much to keep it a secret. "You look so awkward standing there," Cas continued before Dean could fully panic, "at least if you're sitting awkwardly the rest of us won't have to see it."

Dean blushed, but knew he couldn't say no to Cas, so slowly shuffled forwards and awkwardly perched at the end of the bed. He wanted to curl back up in their nest, it looked just as comfortable as it had earlier—even more comfortable now that Cas was already in it—but if he climbed in… he wouldn't be able to hide any more. His secret would be out. This would have to be enough.

"Now we just need to get through the next eight hours without anything going horribly wrong," Sam hummed, "why does that sound so much harder than it should be?"

"Because you're Winchesters," Gabe answered, sounding exhausted just at the thought of the next few hours; Dean could relate. "Things are never easy for you."

"True that," Dean sighed. He had just started getting comfortable, just started relaxing, when he felt a soft brush against his wrist. He flinched away from it, spinning around to see the very tip of Cas' wing lying just where his wrist had been moments before. Cas was glaring at him, looking angry at him from flinching away, which Dean had thought was unfair. 

"Everything okay, Dean?" Sam asked, looking between Cas and Dean. He had to physically restrain himself from snapping an answer back, breathing for a moment to calm himself before he replied.

"Yeah, it's fine," he promised, grabbing the remote from the TV up off the floor, and flipping through the channels. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, but he ended up on one of the old Spiderman movies, and it was just interesting enough that he knew no one would notice that he was forcing himself to look engrossed in it. 

Cas huffed a breath out of his nose, but his wing slipped back away from Dean, and he didn't try anything again for at least another ten minutes, which Dean counted as an absolute win. At least this gave him a couple of minutes to try and figure out what he was feeling.

Chapter Text

Cas’ good behavior did not last.

Except… as far as Gabriel and Sam could see, Cas was completely normal—despite being a stuffed bear. It was Dean who's experience vastly differed from theirs. The second they weren't paying attention, or the second Cas could get away with it without anyone noticing, Cas became just as he had been before.

Domineering, bossy, and able to reduce Dean’s brain to a foggy mess with a few choice words or touches. It was… horrible to put it simply, a billion other things if Dean even thought about trying to expand on that. There were so many different sides of Dean, so many different feelings and he was feeling all of them at once. Some wanted to tell Cas to stop, some wanted to tell Gabe what was going on, some wanted to run as far away as possible, some wanted to just relax into it and see what happened, and Dean couldn’t do any of it!

So many feelings, so many options, and not one single one was any good.

Dean sighed, his eyes glued to the TV. Gabe and Sam were having an intense conversation, their backs to the room as they talked, and Cas was making the most of that. He was rubbing his wings all over Dean. his face, his arms, anywhere he could reach skin. Dean had no idea what was going on, but it almost felt… it almost felt possessive. Like Cas was marking him somehow.

Dean didn't know much about birds, and he knew even less about angels—especially angel mating practices, seeing as that was what Cas' instincts were making him do, even if he didn't want to—but Dean did know what this felt like. And it felt like Cas was making his ownership clear.

“Cas,” Dean hissed quietly, not wanting to attract the attention of the other two people in the room, but desperately wanting to tell the angel to stop. The words died in his throat when Cas rubbed the longest flight feather of one wing across his lips, and then just left it there, pressed against his lips and blocking any words he could even try to form.

“No,” Cas breathed, one soft paw stroking down Dean’s back. “I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want to hear it. I call the shots around here. Got it?” There was something so wrong about hearing a stuffed bear say those words, yet something in Dean was convinced that it was completely right when it was Cas that was saying it.

Suddenly Cas’ wings retracted and he sat peacefully next to Dean as though nothing had ever happened. Dean was confused for a moment, but then Gabe and Sam finished their conversation and turned back around, glancing at them before they both returned to sitting on the other bed.

“Seriously, Dean, what is with you today?” Sam asked, and all Dean was able to do in response was send him a shaky smile and turn his attention back to the screen.

Seven hours to go. 

Sam volunteered to go out and get them all some coffee, Gabe decided that he would go too—probably at least partly just to get out of the motel—and Dean silently cursed them both. Neither of them noticed how Cas’ eyes lit up when they decided they would both go, but Dean did. And he did notice the way Cas' wings lifted slightly in anticipation as he watched them start to leave.

"You'll both be fine, won't you," Sam checked, already halfway out the door. 

"Sure."

"Can I co-" Dean started. He just wanted to get out of the motel room, just wanted a little bit of time to be able to feel normal without Cas being around making him feel weird.

"No," Cas hissed, so quiet no one else could hear him, but still powerful enough to stop Dean's words dead.

"Dean?"

"Nevermind," Dean shook his head, hating how something in his chest settled at the fact his Do- the fact Cas didn't let him leave.

"We won't be long," Gabe assured them, "see you Cassie."

"Bye Gabe," Cas muttered, before adding quietly—clearly only for Dean to hear—"don't hurry back."

And then Sam and Gabe were gone and Dean was once again left alone, perched at the end of the nest he built with the angel he built it for. The angel with a gleam in his eyes and wings lifted in a way Dean couldn't translate, but could assume was either a show of possession, or dominance.

"Get in the nest," Cas growled, and Dean didn't even have time to blink until his body was moving for him, and he was curling up next to Cas. His wings settled down over Dean like a blanket, and Dean was feeling about an inch tall.

"Very good," Cas hummed, and the fog from earlier returned, blanketing Dean's mind and smoothing out all his worries and concerns. "You look so good in my nest, Sub, like you belong here."

They spent the next fifteen minutes like that, curled up together in a way they hadn't been able to be when Sam and Gabe had been around. Dean found himself stroking calmly through Cas' wings, grooming them as he knew he should be, even if he didn't really know why. Cas was running his fingers through Dean's hair in a way that turned his limbs to jello, scratching his nails—well, his plastic claws—along Dean's scalp and stroking the short hairs at the nape. 

Dean couldn't even remember why he hadn't wanted to be in the nest so much, not when everything felt so good. Not when he felt so safe, so protected, so seen and cared for.

"Perfect Sub," Cas murmured quietly, so quietly Dean almost didn't hear it. "Perfect Dean." But he did hear it, and it sent butterflies fluttering through his stomach and joy through his chest and he couldn't stop himself from wishing this would never have to end. 

But, of course, before too long it did.

Dean didn't know how Cas knew, but one moment they were cuddling, the next Cas had lifted his wing and quietly ordered, "go to the washroom, Dean," and then moments after Dean had locked the door he heard the motel door swing open and Sam and Gabe return. 

Dean used the time behind the locked door to bring himself back to earth, to chase the fog from his mind and feel normal again. He sat on the tile floor, his head in his hands, and he breathed, and he tried not to panic—because panicking over cuddling was pretty much the dumbest thing imaginable—and he tried to lock everything back up in his inner box as though Cas hadn't broken the lock on it the moment he started telling Dean what to do.

"Hey, guys," he grinned as he left the washroom, hoping that no one would notice anything off. He watched as Cas' glanced at him, and gave a nod before looking away, so Dean could only assume he'd done something correctly.

"There you are, Dean-o," Gabe grinned, waving at a takeout cup of coffee sitting on the side.

"Thanks." Dean quickly checked the watch on his wrist.

Five hours to go.

Cas had lost his goddamn mind. It was the only reason Dean could come up with to explain why Cas had wrapped his wings around Dean's shoulders, when the only thing stopping Sam or Gabe from looking around was their interest in the bad hallmark movie on the TV.

His hands itched to run through Cas' feathers, to fix the feathers he could already see had gone wonky since he'd last groomed them, but he couldn't, because trying to hide this, and just because Cas had gone insane didn't mean he should too.

"Cas," Dean hissed quietly. He had to keep reminding himself that Cas didn't actually want this—didn't actually want him—and indulging in this now was just going to hurt him—and Cas too—much more in the long run if he didn't cut it off quickly. "Cas," he tried again when Cas still hadn't moved his wing.

Finally the heavy wing dragged across his shoulder and into his lap shifted, and he let out a relieved sigh, which instantly cut off when the wing simply pressed itself more firmly against him, rather than retreating.

"Cas," Dean hissed, pushing at the wing that refused to budge. He helplessly looked over at Gabriel and Sam, only relaxing very slightly when he saw they were actually watching the shitty movie, rather than looking at him.

"Dean," Cas growled, almost sub-vocally even as the word vibrated through him in a way Dean couldn't have ignored even if he'd wanted to. "No."

"What do you- what Do-" Dean muttered helplessly. He wanted to be good, wanted to stop making Cas so mad, but he couldn't figure out what to do to stop.

"It's okay," Cas cooed, his entire body softening as he shifted forwards and started gently stroking Dean's face. "It's alright, I know you're struggling. You're human, you don't understand what you're feeling." That was definitely not wrong; Dean was feeling so much and yet couldn't even put it into words, never mind figure out what to do about it all.

Dean whined quietly, the closest thing to words he could form. It wasn't much, but it was enough to get him an understanding smile, and another stroke through his hair.

"I'll explain it all, I promise I will," Cas whispered, "as soon as I'm back to normal." Dean sighed silently. He guessed this meant he would never find out. As soon as Cas was back to normal he would be free of his overwhelming instincts, and he would go back to not wanting anything more than friendship. All Dean could hope was that he would be able to hide his pain well enough that Cas wouldn't feel bad about it.

"Okay," Dean whispered hoarsely, feeling a heavy weight settle in his stomach. He shouldn't be feeling this loss for something he never had, but he was anyway. In a few hours they would turn Cas back to normal, and Dean could only hope he didn't hold everything Ran had done against him.

Cas pulled his wing away just as Gabe turned around to check on them, a question on his eyes that he didn't vocalize, and Dean quietly checked the time to see how much longer he had before everything collapsed around him.

Three hours to go.

"Come here, Dean," Cas hissed, and Dean couldn't have walked away even if he'd wanted to. Sam was currently outside, getting some air—which Dean thought was unfair, he wasn’t the one who’d been stuck inside all day!—and calling some of their hunter friends to assure them that they hadn't died, they were just busy at the moment. Gabe had slipped away into the washroom—though Dean had no idea what he could be doing. Angels didn't piss afterall—leaving Dean and Cas alone once more, and apparently Cas was making the most of it.

Dean shuffled his way over to where Cas was still sitting inside the nest he had built. He couldn't not. Not when it was Cas who had told him to do it. Doing what Cas said made him feel so good, floaty and looked after, but even thinking about disobeying… it sent nausea dancing through his stomach and a sense of wrong dancing through his veins. He didn't know why, all he knew was he had to do as he was told.

"Good Sub," Cas hummed, reaching his arms out and silencing all the thoughts in Dean's head with a simple touch.

"I have a name you know," Dean grumbled. He felt on edge, watching as the hours ticked down until they could turn Cas back, knowing that Cas now knew the secret he'd hidden for so long. He really didn't care about how Cas addressed him, but he needed to complain, needed to feel like he wasn't really just passively giving Cas everything, even though he knew that was exactly what he was doing.

"Yes, I know you do," Cas replied, not sounding bothered by Dean's tone in the slightest.

"And yet here you are, not using it."

Cas sighed. "I know you're struggling," he said, "but there is no need to be rude about it."

Dean hung his head, somehow feeling properly chastised from Cas' gentle words. He didn't even feel himself moving, but the next thing he was aware of he was straightening the feathers of Cas' wings and letting the single task calm him. He'd miss these wings, when Cas went back to normal and they went back to invisibility.

"Good Sub," Cas purred.

"Fuck," Gabe swore loudly from just inside the room.

Chapter Text

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Gabe swore again. He'd just walked back into the room from the washroom, and was now staring at Dean and Cas in shock. Dean had no idea what they looked like, but he imagined it was pretty criminalising. Here he was, sitting in the nest he built for Cas, his hands buried in Cas' wings while the angel called him "Sub". Honestly, Dean didn't think there was a way to get out of this one, especially when Cas lifted his wings to hide Dean from his brother's view and started growling warningly.

"Where do I even start with this shit show!" Gabe complained, not looking cowed by Cas' posturing. "SASQUATCH," he yelled, waiting for the other Winchester to walk back into the room.

"Gabe?" Sam asked, waiting a moment to look at the room and take in the same scene Gabriel had seen. "What is- what's going on here?"

"A mess," Gabe sighed. "Right, I guess it's up to me to sort this out. Dean-o, I take it you lied about who built the nest?"

Dean hung his head, picking at his shirt hem so he didn't have to see the presumably horrified looks on Gabe and Sam's faces. He was a human, and yet he'd built the nest, and yet Cas was calling him Sub, and yet he'd lied over and over to stop them from finding out the truth.

"Yeah," he admitted quietly, "Cas didn't build it." He couldn't bring himself to admit that he'd been the true builder, but he knew they'd be able to figure it out.

"I really should have seen this coming," Gabe groaned, "I thought it was weird that Cas switched sides, ughhhhh, I'm an idiot."

"Am I supposed to know what this all means?" Sam asked carefully.

"It doesn't matter," Gabe assured him, before turning back to his brother. "Why didn't you say anything, Cassie?"

"You wouldn't be okay with it," Cas hissed, his wings moving backwards slightly until they were brushing against Dean. "You'd assume that this was just my instincts-" Dean had to close his eyes for a moment. He knew that was all it was, even if Cas didn't seem to have realized it yet. "-you'd split us up, keep us apart as though I'm dumb enough to try anything while I'm a stuffed bear!"

Gabe just sighed. "How far have you gone?"

"Are you implying that they might have-" Sam's face scrunched up, and he didn't finish his sentence, but they could all tell what he was implying.

"No, I'm not implying they've fucked. This is an angel thing. Now Cas, answer the question. And calm down for goodness sake, we're not threatening your sub." If Sam looked confused before, that was nothing compared to now, but thankfully he didn't ask anything more.

Cas rolled his eyes, though his wings started sinking now that he was calming down a little bit. "Grooming," Cas finally answered, after a very long pause. 

"Okay, okay," Gabe nodded, running his hands through his hair, looking incredibly tired. "At least it's still reversible, though I'm sorry Dean-o, that is not going to be pleasant for you."

"I'm not reversing it," Cas hissed, sounding somewhere between offended and angry.

"You don't know that yet," Gabriel said, "you might change your mind as soon as we get you back to normal."

Cas just glared, refusing to answer that, which Dean just took as an answer of it's own. He knew he would regret it as soon as he was back to normal, and just didn't want to admit it right now, when he was trying to defend his decision.

"Okay, so correct me if I'm wrong, but what's going on right now is that Cas is trying to mate Dean?" Sam started slowly.

"Is part way through actually," Gabe sighed, "but luckily only the reversible part."

"But… Dean," Sam said, and Dean knew he was going to hate whatever Sam came up with next. "You knew Cas' instincts were going to be wild, why didn't you stop him?"

Dean just hung his head even lower, refusing to answer. He should have- but he hadn't. He couldn't! And maybe that was his fault, but he couldn't change that now.

"Dean couldn't have," Gabe replied, "it's all a bit of a mess of angel biology that I refuse to explain, but all you need to know is that Dean couldn't have stopped it unless he didn't want it, and unfortunately knowing you shouldn't do something isn't enough to override it."

Dean shifted, wanting to stand up and walk away from the nest. This conversation would be at least ten times less awkward if he wasn't just awkwardly kneeling behind Cas.

"No," Cas snarled loudly the moment he felt Dean start to move, his wings pressing tightly against Dean's sides so that he couldn't move. "You stay." Dean felt himself stilling instantly, and wasn't sure he could survive the look on Gabe's face when he saw.

"Cassie, calm down," Gabe said softly, "your sub is safe here, and neither me nor Sam are going to take him from you." Gabe was speaking calmly, sounding much more serious than he normally did. Then again, Dean could completely understand why. He could feel Cas' tension, and it was making him feel tense too. He could feel his hands shaking, and he felt the need to make Cas feel better, even though it made him feel kind of dumb.

Cas' wings started relaxing but not much.

"It's okay," Gabe continued, "Sam's Dean's brother, he doesn't want anything to do with this. And you know me Cassie, I'm not interested in Dean-o either."

Cas squinted at him for another long moment, before his wings completely relaxed and Dean felt as Cas calmed down. "Okay," he said quietly, "okay."

Dean shifted, and this time Cas didn't stop him as he climbed out of the nest. He immediately felt wrong, walking away from Cas, but he didn't turn back.

He walked over to Gabe, feeling his heart sink in his chest the further he went. He shouldn't have- Gabe said he couldn't have said no, not if he actually wanted this, and Dean did want it, but he shouldn't have. It was Cas, his best friend, and he was a man, a hunter—he shouldn't want to be manhandled, or told what to do—none of this situation was okay. And that was definitely all on Dean.

"Hey, none of that," Gabe told him, and it wasn't anything close to Cas, but there was still a similar strength, and a similar desire in Dean to do as he said. It wasn't a need like it was with Cas, but it was there.

The smaller angel reached out and pulled him into a hug. Despite his tiny frame, he was even stronger than Cas, and the hug was exactly what he needed.

Except… no. It really wasn't.

But it was part way there.

There was a loud growl from the bed—from the nest—and when Dean looked over he saw Cas with his wings as high over his head as he could get them, glaring at Gabriel.

"Stop it, Cassie," Gabe growled back, and Dean never thought he would say this, but he wished Gabe would stop being so serious for a minute. Normally he spent his interactions with the archangel wishing that he would be mature for just one second, but right now, it was just putting him on edge. This wasn't the Gabriel he knew, this was the Gabriel who appeared when they had fucked up, and he needed to help them fix it.

"I'm sorry," Dean whispered against Gabriel's shoulder, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Gabe interrupted. "You've done nothing wrong."

"I still don't know what's going on," Sam said quietly, "but Gabe said that this definitely isn't your fault, and I think we can believe him on this. Stop blaming everything on yourself, Dean."

Dean hummed in agreement, but he didn't really believe it. He shouldn't have taken advantage of Cas like he had. Just because his instincts wanted Dean, didn't mean that he did, and it definitely didn't mean that it was right for Dean to have let this happen when he knew if Cas hadn't been hit by the curse he wouldn't have wanted this.

"Dean," Gabe murmured warningly, and Cas was off the bed and walking towards them with his wings high above his head before Dean even had time to realize what Gabe was warning him about.

Sam tried to stand between Cas and Dean, but Gabe carefully steered him out of the way, sending him a reassuring smile and muttering quietly, "it's okay. Cas isn't going to hurt him."

"No," Cas growled, wrapping his arms and wings around Dean's legs and squeezing tightly. "Stop it. You're not allowed- you can't think that."

"You don't even know what I'm thinking about," Dean pointed out, though he had the weirdest feeling that Cas really did. He always did look like he could see Dean's soul, so reading his mind wouldn't be too much of a stretch.

"No, but I do know you," Cas replied, "and I know you're beating yourself up over this."

"I'm-" Dean stopped himself. He couldn't lie to Cas.

"Exactly. Now come on, back to the nest."

Dean sighed, though really he shouldn't have been surprised that Cas was going to bring it back to this. He allowed Cas to drag him back though, and didn't fight back when Cas curled up around him. He could feel Sam's eyes on the back of his head, and he was getting tired of the awkward elephant in the room.

"Just say it, Sam," he told him without looking around, "I know you have something to say."

"Alright… it’s just... I was doing some reading when we were researching for the curse, and I read something which talked about 'angel dynamics', but it was just a rumor, so I ignored it."

"But now you're starting to think otherwise?"

"Yeah," Sam shrugged, "it does seem to be lining up with, well, all of this stuff."

"What book did you find this in?" Gabe asked carefully.

"It was one of the ones from the men of letters archives. I'd brought it to read for fun-" only Sam would count reading the complicated books from the bunker as fun, "-and figured I'd see if it was useful when we needed to research angels."

"So it's probably the only copy?"

"Definitely," Sam nodded, and Dean couldn't miss the way Gabriel seemed to deflate in relief when he heard that.

"Okay. I guess, I trust you guys with this information. So long as you promise never to tell anyone else."

"Of course we won't."

"I know," Gabe smiled, "now, what did the book say?"

Sam nodded, thinking carefully before he started talking. "Basically, it said there are two types. It didn't know what they were called, but it claimed that the two types mate together. Now, I'm assuming that the in-charge type that the book talked about, is what Cas is, but what's not adding up for me right now is how Dean can be the other type when he's human?"

Dean nodded along with Sam's words. He didn't know anything about this angel stuff, but seeing as Cas had been calling him 'Submissive' or 'Sub' all day, he assumed that was probably his type, and Cas must be the other. Dominant probably, again, based on what Cas had been saying.

"I told you angels can mate with humans," Gabe said, "well, it's not all humans. But, if a human and an angel are compatible, then it's possible for the human's instincts to start reacting to the angel's."

"Umm," Dean muttered quietly. He didn't really want to say this, but he kind of had to. He wanted to understand what was going on, and he needed to say the full story to be able to do that. Cas hadn't spoken for a while, but his wings tightened around Dean's side, as though he knew he needed the comfort.

"Dean?"

"I- ummm-" he sighed loudly, "I liked this- this kind of stuff- ummm- before Cas- yeah." He was going to regret saying that as soon as Cas turned back to normal and decided he didn't want anything to do with Dean anymore, but here he was anyway. He couldn't take it back now. He also couldn't ignore the way Cas was looking at him, something proud and delighted and possessive in his eyes which Dean didn't want to think about too much.

"Hmmm, interesting." Gabe squinted for a moment, and opened his mouth as though he was about to say anything, but he stopped himself before he could. "I think we'll come back to this later, maybe after Cas is no longer an overly cuddly Build-a-Bear."

"Yeah, okay," Dean murmured. He hated the reminder that that was going to happen soon. In just a few hours it would be midnight, and Dean would have to face the consequences of the last day.

He could only hope that Cas didn't completely hate him after all this was over.

Chapter Text

The moon was bright in the sky by the time they collected all the ingredients together and gathered around the motel table. The curtains were open, and the moonlight was shining across the bowl they had sat there, waiting for midnight to come and the spell to be completed.

And Dean felt like shit.

He was glad that they were getting normal Cas back, glad that he was no longer going to be a walking, talking Build-a-Bear anymore, which although wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to them, had been pretty weird.

The problem was that Dean couldn't hold the dread back.

Because as soon as this was gone, as soon as the curse was lifted, it would all be over. Cas would realize what a freak Dean was and would want nothing to do with him, Sam would probably agree, Gabe would go with them, and Dean would be all alone.

Again.

Cas squeezed the arm he was clinging to extra tight, running his wings over every patch of exposed skin he could find and rubbing his furry face against Dens chest. He was making almost sub-vocal cooing noises, and Dean felt awful that he was causing Cas distress, but he couldn't stop that. Not when his brain wouldn't stop for a single second.

"Alright, this is ready," Sam announced. "Cas, we need to put some of your hair—hopefully the fur will do—and a feather in here."

Cas didn't move, and after a pause Gabe sighed and walked over to pull out a small tuft of fur. Dean winced in sympathy, but Cas didn't even seem to feel it. He did however move his wings away before Gabe could even get close to them.

"Cas, I need a feather."

"No," Cas replied simply.

Gabe sighed and put a hand over his eyes for a moment. "Dean, can you grab a feather for me?"

"What?" Dean blinked, why was he being asked?

"Cas won't let anyone but his mate touch his wings. Right now, you are as close to that as we can get."

Dean nodded in understanding and reached out, surprised when Cas' wings pushed into his grasp. For a moment, Dean didn't know what he was doing, but then he started lightly carding his fingers through the wing and before he knew it a single feather was pulling free, which he handed to Gabe, who almost looked like he'd been sucking lemons, though he accepted it with a tight smile.

"Okay, as soon as it hits midnight we'll light this up, and Cas should be Cas shaped again."

"Will he instantly go back to normal?" Dean checked.

"Yeah, I'm fairly sure he will," Gabe shrugged, "though he'll probably be embarrassed about some stuff."

Embarrassed about what he did with Dean, he translated that as. Because of course Cas would be embarrassed. Why wouldn't he be?

"Honestly there is not as much information as we'd like about this whole thing." That made sense to Dean, it probably wasn't everyday angels were turned into  plushies.

"Well, we can write down everything we find out," Dean pointed out, "be the change we want to see in the world and all that shit."

"That's actually a good idea," Sam said, grabbing the nearest piece of paper and starting to write.

The seconds ticked by. Gabe watched the clock. Sam wrote what they knew so far. Cas clung tighter and tighter to Dean's arm with every second.

"Hey, Cas, whatcha doing," Dean whispered when it started getting painful.

"I won't let you go," Cas murmured. "I know what Gabe thinks—what you think too—but I promise you, this won't be the end."

Dean knew it wasn't true. Knew it was just Cas' instincts talking. He wished he could believe it anyway.

"We'll see what you say when you're back to normal," Dean murmured. "I promise not to judge you about all this when you're normal again and embarrassed."

"I promise the same," Cas replied, "but I won't be embarrassed, because I'll be too busy making what I want a reality as soon as everyone will believe me."

"And what do you want?" 

"You."

Dean didn't know why he was surprised, but he really hadn't been expecting Cas to say that.

"Okay," he murmured, unable to say anymore.

"You don't believe me," Cas sighed. "Good Subs trust their Doms."

"Maybe I'm not a good Sub," Dean suggested, trying to pretend like the very idea of it didn't hurt him.

"No, you're a good Sub. You've just been hurt too much to trust this is any different. But that's okay, because I'll just work until I've proven it to you."

"It's midnight," Gabe announced gravely, "Dean, I'd recommend you step away." Dean really didn't want to, but he guessed Gabe was right, and slowly pushed himself out of the nest and walked to stand next to Gabe. He was a bit surprised when the archangel wrapped his arms around him, but the grip was reassuring when his entire being just wanted to be with Cas, so he didn't complain. 

They all turned their attention to the bowl, watching as Sam lit a match and dropped it in, chanting something under his breath as the fire turned blue.

For a moment, nothing happened. And then, between one blink and the next, Cas started burning with the same blue fire. Dean almost screamed, wanting to stop it, put the flames out, anything really, but Gabe's grip was tight and he had no wriggle room, no way to get to Cas.

And then the fire went out, and Cas was there, back to normal, sitting in the middle of the nest as though nothing had happened. His wings were gone, or Dean guessed they were meant to be gone—they were still there for him, mere shadows lying against his back, but they didn't look solid anymore, so Dean guessed that was just because of the start of the bond—his trenchcoat was normal sized again, still sitting innocently in the nest. He was no longer a bear.

It was Cas. Just like he'd been every other time Dean had ever seen him.

And so this was it, Dean supposed. Cas wouldn't want him anymore, they'd break the bond, it would hurt if what Gabe said was true, and then there were two options. Either everything would go back to how it was before, or Dean would lose everything.

"That was unpleasant," Cas frowned. "Sam, Gabe, sorry for growling at you. That was not polite of me."

"Everything back to normal, Cas?" Gabe checked, his eyes glowing as he checked for himself.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Though I remember everything, and I am very sorry for acting so immature."

"No problem, Cas," Sam smiled reassuringly, "I know you didn’t really mean it."

Dean felt like he should be reassuring Cas too, but there was a lump in his throat that he couldn't speak around, one which only got worse when Cas started looking around himself, obviously judging the nest he was sitting in.

"Gabe, can you confirm I am in my right mind, and anything I do or say is me, and not just my instincts?" Cas asked.

"Well… yes," Gabriel confirmed, "why?"

"And I am in my right mind right now?" Cas continued, not answering Gabe.

"Yes, you are," Gabe nodded, "now will you tell me why."

"Perfect," Cas grinned, "Sub. Come here."

Dean was moving before he even consciously registered the words. He had no idea what was going on, no idea what this meant, all he knew was his Dom had given him an order, and he had to follow it.

"Good boy," Cas hummed, sending a shiver through Dean's spine. A dark red blush stained his cheeks. His brother was in this room, Gabriel was here, and Dean was acting like this.

Cas' shadow wings lifted high into the air, as he reached out a hand and ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "I still want this," he said. "This is me, not just my instincts. Understand?"

Dean nodded. Cas… Cas wanted him. He almost wanted to laugh, wanted to scream and cry and yell until he believed this was real. Cas wanted him.

"I don't want to break our bond, I want to complete it. Understand?"

Dean nodded. Cas wanted to be mated to him. That was… what? Angel married? More than that? Dean didn't even know. All he knew was Cas wanted Dean to be his mate, his one and only, his Sub.

"You're mine. You've always been mine, and you'll always be mine. My perfect Sub. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Castiel," Dean breathed, instinctively lowering his eyes.

"Very good. And you made me this beautiful nest. You're perfect Dean, so perfect. I've always wanted you, and now here you are."

"If you always wanted me why did you never- I mean- why now?"

Cas chuckled, using a hand under Dean's chin to lift his head up. "I never thought you liked me back, so I just ignored it, figured I would have to make do with just being your friend. And then this happened."

"And you realized I liked you back."

"Exactly," Cas smiled, "and now I'm never letting you go."

"Should we be- should we go?" Sam was asking Gabe. He was trying to whisper, but he really wasn't doing a great job of it.

"You don't have to go," Cas said, looking away from Dean for the first time since he'd called him over. "I promise we won't do anything to scar you, but this is your room too."

"Are you sure?" Sam checked.

"Certain," Cas nodded, "we'll wait until we're back at the bunker to complete our bond anyway. Instinctual me might have been okay with bonding anywhere, but I have patience, and the bunker is home."

Sam nodded. "Okay, well, we should probably head to bed anyway. It's late and… you two… have all the blankets."

Gabe grinned, "you're not getting anything out of that nest," he clicked his fingers, summoning another set for Sam's bed, and Dean tried to ignore the itching in his fingers to grab them and add them to the nest.

Cas rubbed a hand down Dean's arms, clicking his own fingers and summoning another two comforters. 

"How did you-" Dean trailed off, reaching out to rub the materials between his fingers.

"I can tell when a sub is wanting to nest, and you were giving off all the signals. Go on, do whatever you want, and then you need to sleep."

Dean nodded, happily grabbing the comforters and placing them carefully, laying one of them over the two of them, and then snuggling in with his back to Cas' chest.

"You know," Gabriel said, looking as though he'd been thinking about this for a while. "I think I've figured it out."

"What?"

"You said you liked this before Cas, right," Gabe said, waiting until Dean nodded before he continued. "You've always had a profound bond. What if you aren't just compatible, but you were made for each other too."

"Are you implying dad made the Michael sword my perfect mate?" Cas asked skeptically.

"No, not at all. But I might be implying the universe made it happen anyway."

Dean craned his neck back to look at Cas, who was staring back softly. "I like the thought of that," Cas smiled, "my universally perfect mate." Dean blushed, but that didn't stop him from leaning in and pressing a deep kiss against Cas' mouth.

He didn't know if Cas and Gabe were right, and he definitely didn't think he was perfect, but right now, that didn't matter. Cas loved him, and if this was all a gift from the universe, then Dean was going to send it a fucking gift basket as a thank you. He had never thought he would get something like this, and yet here he was. Apparently, miracles did happen.

He closed his eyes, sinking into the warm strength of Cas behind him, and drifted to sleep with a soft smile still on his face.