Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

JeongGuk sipped his warm tea, seemingly the only thing that would cause the excruciating chest pains. He was sitting a café, reading a magazine he had snatched up, reading an interview Namjoon was in, his heart thundering in his chest when he read that Namjoon was asked if he was in a relationship. He felt the pain start to well up, forcing himself to hold back the urge to cough when he read Namjoon’s answer, his eyes starting to well up from the pain. He forced himself to drink some more tea, closing the book and pushing it away from him. JeongGuk tried patting his chest, wincing as he took a deep breath. He sat money on the table as he slowly stood, rubbing his eye absentmindedly as he left the café, figuring it was enough of him being in public and coughing. He sighed as he stepped out, the cool air of autumn breezing by, making him hum out before continuing on his way to his doctor appointment. Technically, he didn’t have to be there until noon but what’s the harm of going two hours early?

--

“Surgery is the only way it’s going to be fixed?” JeongGuk asked softly, his doctor, Dr.Moon giving a sad smile before hanging up JeongGuk’s chest scans, cutting on the light. “The flowers branches have completely taken over the bottom half of your lungs… I’m afraid if they continue to grow, they’ll suffocate you JeongGuk.” JeongGuk picked at his hands, his gaze settled on the scans of his chest, the air suddenly being too thick to breathe in. He chewed on his bottom lip, trying to process the information and facts before him. “But… I love him…” “But his love is harming you… I’m sorry JeongGuk…” JeongGuk only breathed in, a small smile on his face before he wiped away a tear that had fallen. “C-Can I have a few days to think about it?” Dr.Moon sighed, cutting the light off before opening his desk drawer, pulling out a pamphlet. “I want you to join this group. Its for people with or who had Hanahaki… it’s a small group but I think it will help with your decision.” JeongGuk nodded softly, taking the pamphlet, “Thank you..”

--

JeongGuk laid in bed, feeling Namjoon get up for the day. He kept his eyes closed, feeling the brush of Namjoon’s lips on his cheek. The bedroom door closing along with a small pause before the front door. JeongGuk sat up as he coughed violently, the petals from the orchid falling from his mouth, speckled with blood. JeongGuk only sighed, his eyes falling to the pamphlet before he decided to get dressed. He supposed it wouldn’t hurt if he started to go to Jeonjo. He dressed warmly, Dr.Moon giving him the group’s address (it turned out to be near a little well-known hanok village). He pulled on a hoodie along with matching sweatpants, not wanting to put too much into an effort of looking nice. It’s not like he’s even dating Namjoon (according to the magazine). He pulled on a puffy jacket, sliding his sneakers on before grabbing his wallet, house keys and his phone, sending a quick text to Namjoon, only getting a small ‘k’ in response.

--

JeongGuk looked walked in, blushing slightly as he thought he’d be in the slightest bit of early not expecting to see a handful of people talking amongst themselves. “Um...sorry...Am I early for-” “Hanahaki support group? Nope! Yoongi is just always late. Come in! Can I get you any-” “Jin! Relax, he already has tea. Go sit.” The male named Jin sighed, reaching out and twirling the male’s ring on their necklace before he went to go sit. “Sorry. My husband’s OCD shows itself when he meets someone. I’m Taehyung. That was my husband, SeokJin but everyone calls him Jin.” “JeongGuk. Jeon JeongGuk… Um...you..?” “Had it. I sometimes suffer the repercussions from the surgery.” JeongGuk nodded once, glancing around the room, his head starting to swim, “I-I think I need some air-” “Hey. It’s okay. It seems overwhelming at first but everyone is nice. Even Yoongi,” Taehyung said softly, reaching out and rubbing JeongGuk’s back softly. JeongGuk sucked in a deep breath, or tried to, releasing it when his lungs had start to ache. “I’m sorry,” JeongGuk whispered out meekly, “I just-” “Trust me. I get it. No need to apologize.” JeongGuk opened his mouth to speak, the door slamming shut behind him. He looked behind him, seeing a male drinking coffee and staring at him. “Who’s he?” “Yoongi, your manners are horrible. This is JeongGuk. He’s joining today.” JeongGuk watched quietly as the male stared at him before nodding, “You’re Moon’s patient. He called and told me about you. Hoseok, get a seat for him. We’ll start in a minute.”

--

“..and then I hung up on him. I didn’t fell anything for him. Having SeokJin there made everything better.” JeongGuk watched as the married couple intertwined hands, turning his attention to his own. “JeongGuk, do you care to share?” JeongGuk looked up at Yoongi, his eyes roaming around the small circle. “Um..do I..I don’t have to stand up do I?” “Do whatever you feel is comfortable.” JeongGuk nodded, standing up. “Um...Hi. I’m JeongGuk and I suffer for Hanahaki Disease. It um...appeared about two months ago. Dr.Moon said I have a severe form of it because my boyfriend is in the media and very popular..” JeongGuk shuffled in his spot, looking at his feet, slightly nervous about sharing everything. “It’s filled up the bottom half of my lungs, taking residence at 50%...” He heard a small gasp, looking up and seeing it come from a honey blonde male he learned was named Jimin. “And you don’t need oxygen?! That’s-” “Jimin. Let him finish. Continue please JeongGuk.” “I do need oxygen...but only when it’s really bad… He sometimes has days off but he uses them in his office with the door closed,” JeongGuk sniffled, hiding his face in his hands, “I-I can hear him...Talking on the phone with someone else..” He started to choke, coughing violently but unable to stop talking. “H-He tells he loves them a-” JeongGuk dropped to his knees, Taehyung dropping beside him with a few napkins. “JeongGuk, you can stop-” “He just-” JeongGuk choked up a few petals, “He sounds so happy, giggling and he doesn’t look at me but-” “Yoongi-” “Let him talk.” “He kisses my cheek in the morning before he leaves for work…” JeongGuk took the napkins, wiping his mouth, Taehyung helping him wipe his cheeks. “T-That’s why I st-stay...Maybe h-he still loves me..” Taehyung only hugged the male close, shushing them, “JeongGuk, it’s only hurting you…” JeongGuk only sighed out, pulling away, “I know...but I love him..”

Chapter Text

"Individual therapy?" JeongGuk asked, sitting outside a nearby café, the male smoking a cigarette with a coffee in his hands. "I do it with everyone time to time. Just to see where they're at. I mainly do more with Jimin since he's in a critical part." JeongGuk tilted his head, Yoongi raising a brow. "You didn't see the branch growing from his side? Hoseok must've trimmed it then..." "A-A branch?" JeongGuk asked, Yoongi nodding before stubbing out his cigarette. "His Hanahaki has grown to the point where he's neglected it," JeongGuk watched at Yoongi had lifted his shirt, the male's rib cage barely showing before he tapped a space between them, "He has a branch that grows straight through. He's had surgery to install a small metal tube around it so it doesn't-" "Why doesn't he get it...? The surgery.." Yoongi sighed, sipping his coffee as he fixed his shirt and his jacket, "With the fear of never loving again. Taehyung is a lucky case. He still feels love. Got married to Jin this past year." JeongGuk rubbed the rim of the plastic top to his tea, "Is...Is that a bad thing to happen? Not being able to love..?" "It's only bad if you wake up and still in the same situation JeongGuk. I can help but I'm not sure you're ready for it." JeongGuk nibbled on his lip, sighing as he rubbed his forehead. "A small-" "Stop. Every time you say it, it makes you believe." JeongGuk only sighed, looking away before his eyes widened. What was Namjoon doing here...with a woman?! JeongGuk felt his heart squeeze, the urge to cough starting to show along with the pain, hearing buzzing in his ears, practically hearing the branches grow. "JeongGuk!!" JeongGuk sputtered out, choking on the petals, Yoongi shaking him slightly. JeongGuk jumped to his feet, snatching napkins before he ran off, no destination in sight. He was holding hands with her!! Smiling with her and laughing. JeongGuk fell to his knees, coughing up more petals before Yoongi had caught up with him. "JeongGuk-" "I-I'm f-fi-fine!" JeongGuk choked out, pulling a few more petals from his mouth before he wiped his lips. Yoongi only sighed, helping JeongGuk to his feet. "You can stay the night at my apartment."

—

Yoongi laid some fresh sheets down on the couch, "Sorry it's nothing fancy. Do you want anymore tea before I go to the roof to smoke?" JeongGuk shook his head. "No. I'll be alright. Thank you.." Yoongi nodded once, "Bathroom is just through my room on the right. I'll leave my door open when I go to sleep." Yoongi only watched the male nod before they laid down, pulling the blanket over them. "JeongGuk. Your phone." JeongGuk wordlessly handed the pink and blue decorated phone to Yoongi, the small charm dangling from it. Yoongi took it before he left, sighing out. How did JongUp expect him to persuade this kid to get surgery?

—

Yoongi really planned on just staying up for one cigarette but here he was. Practically going through text messages. "Tch. Kid's really in love with them.." He sighed as he locked it, leaning against the railing, sliding the phone back in his pocket before lighting another cigarette. He thought to himself, sighing as he shook his head, pulling the phone back out.

JeongGuk:

Can we talk?

Joonie:

About what?

Yoongi raised his brow, taking a long pull from his cigarette, thinking as he stared at the text. He watched the male start to type, causing him to raise a brow, frowning when the male stopped. "Fuck it."

JeongGuk:

Are you cheating on me?

Yoongi watched as the read receipt popped up, making him lock the phone before sliding it in his pocket, letting it dinged. He didn't want to frolic in JeongGuk's relationship as it wasn't even his place to do so but it was something that needed to be done. He hasn't seen anyone in a more severe case as JeongGuk's since his own, knowing the male will only get worse as time had gone on. He pulled the phone from his pocket when he heard another ding, unlocking it.

Joonie:

No.

Joonie:

I have no reason to.

Yoongi tsked, knowing the male was only trying to have JeongGuk stay around to hurt them more. He thought to himself, typing.

JeongGuk:

I went to the doctor.

Joonie:

For a checkup?

Yoongi frowned at the text. Did he not know JeongGuk was suffering from a deadly disease? Or had the male not tell him?

JeongGuk:

He thinks I'm sick.

He watched as the male was typing, the male stopping before sending something.

Joonie:

I've seen the petals on the bed. When were you going to tell me?

JeongGuk:

When are you going to tell me the truth?

Yoongi watched as JeongGuk was left on read, shaking his head as he slid the phone in his pocket. He sighed, yawning slightly as he finished his cigarette, making his way back inside.

--

JeongGuk couldn't sleep, the pain in chest multiplying tenfold, biting his swollen lip to keep quiet. Rubbing it only made it worse and breathing just made it difficult to even think. He jumped when he was exposed to the chilly air, feeling a body slot behind him, hugging him tightly. "I can practically hear you in my sleep." JeongGuk only felt his eyes well up with tears, the pain radiating over his body. "S-Sorry.." he managed to wheeze out, wincing slightly as his arms where guided above his head before being hugged tighter. "Breathe in now," Yoongi mumbled out sleepily, JeongGuk hesitantly breathing in. It still hurt but not as much as it did before. "F-Feels better.." "If it hurts bad again, let me know. I'll get you oxygen.." Yoongi mumbled, subconsciously nosing the back of JeongGuk's neck, falling back asleep. JeongGuk only focused on breathing, feeling the pain slowly start to ebb away slowly.

--

It was almost sunrise when JeongGuk could finally fall asleep, the pain practically gone. Yoongi woke up, the smell of vanilla clouding his sense before he opened his eyes. Regretting it completely when the sunlight had hit him, making him squint slightly. He sat up, looking down at JeongGuk. He sighed tiredly, shaking JeongGuk awake. The male only whined out, Yoongi sighing. "Go to my room. My bed is better for your breathing issues." He helped the male sit up, JeongGuk stumbling up and off to Yoongi's room. He shook his head, rubbing his face. He picked up his phone, dialing Dr. Moon. "Has he agreed?" "You sound like you haven't slept," Yoongi said, walking to his kitchen and putting on a pot of coffee, "Plus, I'm not some magical worker. Took me three years to get Taehyung the surgery." "He's like a son to me Yoongi." Yoongi pulled JeongGuk's phone from his pocket, "Yeah...I get it."

--

"Move out?" JeongGuk asked, fixing the nasal canula Yoongi had forced him to wear when he started to wheeze in his sleep. "Yeah. Move out. I don't care when you do but the sooner, the better." JeongGuk felt his heart squeeze, rubbing the rim of his cup. "I-I don't want him to be mad at me.." "If anything, he'd be understanding," Yoongi reasoned, JeongGuk nodding. "Okay.. Can I get my phone back?" "No. This is the first step of breaking off. No contact. Come on." JeongGuk rushed to his feet when Yoongi stood, "W-Where-" "We're going to the apartment to pack a bag. I'm not letting you go alone without a phone." JeongGuk felt his heart thunder in his chest, scaring him slightly. "O-Okay.."

Chapter Text

JeongGuk walked in, closing the door behind Yoongi. JeongGuk kept his head down, "The bedroom is back there..l'll just be a second.." JeongGuk stepped back to the room, grabbing a suitcase of his from underneath the bed, pulling some of his clothes out from the dressers.

He paused, seeing a picture of his and Namjoon's first date, his eyes starting to water as he felt his lungs starting to ache and feel itchy. He clutched his chest, falling to his knees. "JeongGuk?" JeongGuk tried to breathe, not able to catch his breath as he heard Yoongi running down the hall. "C-Can-" "Don't speak. Your oxygen. Point me to where it is."

-

"Yoongi...I'm fine." "No. You passed out and I had to give you CPR. So shut up." JeongGuk pouted slightly, looking away before tugging on the tubing. "At least move the oxygen closer. You're making my ears ache." "JeongGuk. I'm seeing you sooner than I'd like again." JeongGuk only gave a slight smile, "Trying to avoid it." "Yes. That I know... Yoongi, do you mind if I talk to you in the hall briefly?" Yoongi nodded, JeongGuk signing out softly.

He merely looked around the office, moving to stand and finding a picture of Yoongi and Taehyung with Dr.Moon, making him smile softly. He sat the picture back as the duo walked in, Yoongi sighing out as he sat down. "JeongGuk, please sit.." JeongGuk frowned, "Why? What's wrong?" Yoongi rubbed his face, opting to stay silent. "I made Yoongi...your power of attorney." JeongGuk paused, furrowing his brows, "What?" "I've decided that it's in your best interest-" "NO! IF THIS IS SOME..SOME FREAK WAY OF HAVING ME-"

JeongGuk was silent as he was struck, looking at Yoongi. "JeongGuk. You're not...The branches. You can't breathe without oxygen. You need it. You need the surgery to live." JeongGuk sniffled, covering his face with his hands, coughing slightly as he tried to breathe. "I-I'm scared...what if-" "I'm going to be right there through it all JeongGuk. Don't worry." JeongGuk wiped his face, looking at Yoongi before Dr.Moon. "W-Wh-When..?" "Tomorrow. I'm admitting you to the hospital now."

—

JeongGuk tugged at the tubing, rubbing his eyes. "Yoongi...will you be back there?" Yoongi turned the page in his book, "No. But I'll be there waiting for you till you wake up." JeongGuk nodded, adjusting his nasal cannula, "Am I really bad...? For putting myself through this?" Yoongi sighed, "No. That guy is terrible for putting you through it."

JeongGuk sniffled, feeling his lungs painfully constrict around the branches, "I-It hurts." Yoongi sighed, standing up, "Move over." JeongGuk scooted over, Yoongi climbing into the bed. "I-I'm sorr-sorry," JeongGuk sniffled out, rubbing his eyes. "It's fine. Taehyung was scared too, you know. Give me your hand. I'll hold it until you fall asleep."

—

Yoongi sat in JeongGuk's room, turning the page in the magazine. He looked at his watch, the surgery seemingly longer than what was told. "Man.. he's not out yet?" Yoongi looked up, seeing Taehyung holding SeokJin's hand as he handed a coffee to Yoongi. "No. Not yet. Thanks." "Have they told you about his condition yet?"

"No. The last update was three hours ago." Yoongi jumped to his feet when the nurses came in, wheeling in JeongGuk's bed, the male looking pale. "Oh sweet baby.." "Is he okay?" "Mr.Jeon is okay. We're going to set him on a blood bag to help his system along with a few IV bags. He should wake up in a few moments. I'll be back to check on him and set up the bags." "Thank you," Yoongi said, bowing at the nurse who bowed as well before she left, closing the door behind him.

A small groan was heard, Taehyung gasping slightly, Yoongi turning his attention to JeongGuk. "JeongGuk? How are you?" Yoongi asked softly, JeongGuk wincing as he lifted his hand, waving it at his chest. "Chest pain?" JeongGuk sluggishly nodded, gasping softly when he noticed Taehyung. Taehyung only giggled as he smiled, "Hey JeongGuk. I didn't expect to see you so soon. Specifically when I'm bringing Yoongi coffee." JeongGuk hummed, slight wheezing heard before SeokJin sighed out.

"I gotta tuck him in. It's bothering me." "No. Go sit," Taehyung snapped out, the male sitting back down immediately. "Ah. Taehyung, how are you?" "Dr.Moon! Still treating others I see!" "Of course. JeongGuk, how are you feeling?" Yoongi only watched as JeongGuk shrugged. "Ti...red.." JeongGuk wheezed out softly, Dr.Moon looking over his chart. "That's to be expected. Anesthesia should wear off soon so you may fall back asleep. Would you like to see what we removed?" JeongGuk looked over at Yoongi, the male shrugging. "It's up to you."

—

JeongGuk was quiet, thinking to himself before he nodded. Dr.Moon stepped up beside the bed, turning the tablet to JeongGuk. JeongGuk's emotion was stoic, the orchids had bloomed, quite beautifully he would add if the situation hadn't been so dire, taking the complicated shape of his lungs. He let Yoongi's hand slip from his, reaching and grabbing the tablet. His gaze was steady, seeing the small flower that had started it all; the one flower that was tickling his right lung which caused him to see Dr.Moon in the first place.

"Dif....fer....ent.." JeongGuk wheezed out, his gaze moving away, handing the tablet back. "JeongGuk, you'll be discharged at the end of the week. Do you-" "He'll be staying with me. It's been decided." JeongGuk looked at Yoongi, he opened his mouth to speak before he closed it. He looked at Dr.Moon, nodding. Dr.Moon hummed, passing a glance at JeongGuk's heart rate, writing something down. "Alright. I'll see if the kitchen has anything ready for you to eat."

--

JeongGuk was watching television, Yoongi fussed at by the nurses to leave and go home for a few hours. His attention was drawn to a soft knock on his door, a nurse peeking her head in, a small blush on her face. "Mr.Jeon, there's someone here to see you if you're up for it." JeongGuk frowned slightly as he nodded, the nurse nodding before she left. JeongGuk kept his gaze on the door, sliding his gaze away when he heard Namjoon's voice. The door closed with a click, the room silent besides the television and the beeps of the machines. "I guess, I'll be the only one speaking since it's not really advised of you to talk." JeongGuk let his eyes roam around his room, expectant of the pain to come in his chest. "I'm sorry." JeongGuk eyes landed just above Namjoon's head, the male sighing out.

"I saw you running the other day. I'm sorry for being a poor lover to you." JeongGuk opened his mouth to speak, but closed it before he looked away. "It wasn't purposeful. Falling out of love with you." JeongGuk didn't want to hear it, phantom pains hurting his lungs, feeling his heart breaking. He closed his eyes as he felt the tears fall. He wiped them away, blinking them away as his gaze moved to the blanket. "I don't know how it happened. Maybe when you-" "Stop," JeongGuk wheezed out, facing the window, rain pouring down. When did it start to rain? "I feel like I should explain." "Do...Don't want...y-you...to," JeongGuk said, his voice coming in a mere whisper, a soft sigh escaping from Namjoon; JeongGuk knowing the male was going to continue anyway.

"I think it was when you went out with a old friend to that party. I stayed because I knew you needed someone." JeongGuk was silent, Namjoon only taking it to continue. "I started seeing her three months ago." JeongGuk turned to face Namjoon, seeing the male staring right back at him. He didn't feel anything. Only the sadness as Namjoon had unloaded everything on him. "I'm just...I'm sorry JeongGuk. I'm sorry I had to be your first for everything. I'm sorry all these years went to waste." With one last kiss on JeongGuk's forehead, Namjoon had left. JeongGuk felt a tear fall, soon turning into sobs and pathetic whimpers, causing an alarm to go off because he was breathing so hard. He felt like he was released but fuck...did it hurt so much.