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Chapter Text

Sitting on the throne once occupied by my father still felt so unnerving to me. Even after five years of ruling Amatia, part of me still felt out of place on the stone chair. It forces me to keep my back straight, to look down on anyone in court addressing me, other than my mother who sat in her own throne, one intended for the co-ruler. During my father’s reign, she had been queen. Nearly equal to my father, his voice was the only one that would ever rise above hers. Now, during my reign, she was the Queen-Mother. Her voice was not one of decision making, but of advising and guiding. Many voices rang over hers. The dukes, lords, military officials all saw fit to interrupt her now.

Respect was currency on Amatia, and my mother, an unmarried adult, has none. As a widower on this planet, she was expected to retire from her duties, and find joy in raising grandchildren, or maybe breeding hunting dogs, or art maybe.

I let my fingers trace over one of the blossoms carved into the stone chair as Lord Emert carried on about adjusting the taxes on traders importing goods to the planet. As much as I agreed that the government should be investing more money into its own citizens trades rather than lining the pockets of richer planets, Amatia did not have near enough factories making the kind of machinery it’s military required. Not the kind of household goods it’s wealthier population was all too eager to toss around their credits to get. If I had to hear one more Lady of the Court brag about the Corellian crystal chandelier her husband purchased for her, I were going to outlaw them out of spite.

“Lord Emert.” I finally interjected. “You know I agree with your principle, as I often do, but unless you have an actual plan that’s not going to collapse our economy, I’m not keen to sit through a lecture on political economics. Save it for the university students, please.”

Lord Emert practically deflated. Honestly, for a twenty year old Lord, he could be a lot more insufferable than he was. He could shirk all of his royal duties in pursuit of wealth, sex, and booze like most royalty his age. At least he was trying to help his people, even if he did come off as a know it all.

I sat through a few more debates from my court until it was an appropriate time to retire for the evening. My mother joined me for dinner on the balcony attached to the royal family’s suite, chatting to me about upcoming holidays and festivals. I nodded along, mostly tuning her out in favor of eating quickly.

“You could find a good husband there.” She finished.

I sucked in a breath quickly, food not yet chewed hitting the back of my neck and causing a coughing fit. “What?!”

She gave me a knowing look. “I thought that might get your attention. Honestly, Jaycari, I taught you better than this.”

I sighed, pushing my plate away and leaving the table. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Dear, the nobles aren’t going to let you remain single for much longer.” Mother whispered. “They’ve given you some leeway because of your father’s death, but-”

“Goodnight.” I say, leaving the room and nearly sprinting to my room to lock the door behind me. I felt like a child again, rushing away from my mother’s lecture. Of course, the last time I did that, I had a friend to run off to. A boy who I knew understood everything about how I felt, the pressure of a lineage that felt too great to ever hope to grow into.

I took off my crown, tossing it on my nightstand and ridding myself of my boots and outer robes. I sat on my windowsill, looking out into the star filled sky, then down towards the river that flowed past the castle my family had lived in for more generations than I could count. I followed it with my eyes to the tree line I could remember sprinting to, a boy my age hot on my heels. He was thin and lanky, awkward in his movements as he was growing so fast he hadn’t yet learned how tall he was.

That awkward, lanky boy that was supposed to be mine.

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“You’re so slow, Solo!” I jeered, jumping from one rock to the other, barely keeping myself from falling into the river with how quickly I moved across it. At fourteen, I was quick to tease, quicker still to gloat. “By the time you catch up to me, I’ll be halfway across the galaxy.”

My foot finally fell on a rock much too slippery to grip, and I went tumbling towards the water, “Ah!”

An invisible pressure close in on my sides, keeping me from crashing into the rushing river below, moving me ever so carefully to the other bank and depositing me onto soft sand.

“What was that about being too slow?” Ben asked coyly as he made his own way across. At sixteen, Ben was not quick to tease, and hardly ever gloated. Unless it came to me.

I blushed as he stood beside me, the moonlight reflecting off his inky black hair. It had a way of clashing with his dark brown eyes, a way that made them look like a deep well. One I could fall into and have no hope of ever crawling out of. No desire to, either.

“Magic doesn’t count as being fast.” I sassed, turning on my heel and walking into the woods with Ben right behind me.

“It’s not magic, it’s the force.” Ben said.

“Is it science?” I prodded. “No? Then it’s magic, it’s really quite simple.”

Ben sighed, “Are you ever going to stop talking about the force like that?”

His tone made me stop walking as we both hit the edge of the cleaning I had been leading him to. “Huh?”

“You’re always so dismissive of it.” Ben explained, crossing his arms and leaning against a tree. “When others dismiss it, I don’t really care, because… well, because they’re no one to me, but you…”

He trailed off, leaving what we both knew unsaid. Me and Ben were not no one to each other. We never had been, and never would be. Something our mothers had decided for the both of us shortly after my birth. Both princesses with fathers on the senate, both with a knack for debate and politics, and both with ties to the rebellion, the two girls had been instant friends. Even when life called Leia to serve in the rebellion openly, and called your own mother to be a secret supporter, funneling supplies to them under the guise of peace missions to random settlements, they stayed best friends.

And then my mother introduced me, a cute two year old girl to Ben, a four year old boy that would make me giggle like mad whenever he would wave his toy starships around, making blasting noises with his mouth, telling me all about the Millennium Falcon and how he was going to be the best pilot in the world. None of which I really understood, but it entertained me at least. Both of our mothers had worked out an arrangement, using me and Ben as bargaining chips.

It could have been worse. I could have been promised to someone with no sense of duty towards the position they were born into. Or someone too naïve to function, like Lord Emert. The arrangement had been only verbal at first, starting with two lifelong friends joking about their children growing up to marry each other. To unite their families formally. That eventually changed when my midichlorian count came back from Coruscant. Showing that I was in fact, force sensitive. Barely. Had I been born in a different time, the Jedi would have asked to have me, but not been overly disappointed if my parents said no.

Then the arrangement became legal. Signed by Leia and my mother, sealed with my families house seal. It wasn’t… quite binding. Not in the ways it would have been merely a generation or two ago. I might not be able to outwardly refuse the arrangement, but Ben could. Ben was a Jedi in training, and had nothing to lose if he simply refused to marry me and never came back to Amatia.

“I’m sorry.” It was spoken quietly, but sincerely. “I know the force is important to you, and part of me wants to understand it but…”

When I couldn’t bring myself to finish, Ben uncrossed his arms, stepping forward to pat your back awkwardly. “I know.”

Ben was free to refuse the marriage when he became an adult. Ben was free to stay with Luke Skywalker on Yavin-4 and train to be a Jedi one day. Ben was free to jump on the Millennium Falcon with his father every couple of weeks and get his kicks on a smuggling run.

I had no such privileges. As the only child my parents would ever have, my life was planned out totally. Studying etiquette, economics, military tactics, and the history of not only my planet but the galaxy at large. Every activity in my life was selected for me to groom me into the best future monarch I could be.

I looked up at Ben, giving him a sad smile. “It’s okay. You make it better.”

I took him by the hand, leading him into the clearing and to the entrance of a deceivingly small looking cave. “This is it.”

“I can feel it.” Ben said, turning to me, “Can you feel it too?”

“No.” I admitted.

Ben tightened his grip on my hand, leading me into the cave, “It’s okay, I’ll show you.”

Into the impossible darkness I went, Ben taking out his lightsaber to light the way. The twists and turns seemed to last forever, but whenever the fear of getting lost got to be too much, Ben would give my hand a small squeeze, or tug my arm gently to get me closer to him.

Finally, the tunnel opened up to reveal a cavern with large crystal formations of deep blues, greens, purples, yellows, even some deeper orange colors. Ben turned his lightsaber off as the crystals gave plenty of light. “Here, let me help you.”

He turned me so I was facing the crystals with your back pressed to his chest, both of his hands coming up to rest on either side of my temples. “Take a deep breath, and try to purge any strong emotion from your mind, Try to just be at peace. And… there.”

Even before he was finished talking, I had felt it. The Kyber crystals around me seemed to speak without actually forming words. They just… felt alive somehow. In fact, everything seemed alive somehow. The rocks beneath my feet, the stone walls of the cave, and even Ben felt a light brighter than usual. Ben wasn’t just a person of flesh and bone I could touch, but an energy that I could feel. One I could maybe nudge at with my own energy a little and-

A voice entered my mind, one decidedly not my own, but a familiar voice. Ben’s voice. ‘Hello there.’

My eyes opened and I turned around, looking right into those endless pits of emotion I had managed to catch a glimpse of. “Ben… that was… that was amazing. Thank you.”

“I can show you more.” He said softly, his hands timidly finding my waist, cautiously pulling me closer to him. “More ways to feel the force. I can show you how to use it too. If you want.”

That was the moment I knew that this boy, this beautiful, smart, strong, passionate and charming boy was a complete idiot. I chuckled, causing Ben to look at me in confusion.

Deciding not to keep Ben in the dark, I rose up on my tiptoes, glad Ben’s growth spurt hadn’t progressed too much for me to reach him somewhat. My lips touched his and I could swear I felt his brain physically stop working as I did. I could practically feel his thoughts stop and then start up again three times faster than before, like he was trying to catch up on the time lost when he froze up.

I pulled away, grinning up at my perfect, beautiful, goofball of a boy.

Ben grinned, a big toothy grin that stretched across his cheeks which were blushing just enough for me to see. “Oh.”

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I let myself come out of that memory, one of my fondest of Ben. I had others, many more kisses after that, stolen away from the watchful eyes of my parents. Even ones where Ben begged his father to let me come along on the Millennium Falcon, and we spent most of the trip hiding away in the cargo bay. We needn’t have bothered being so secretive. Han Solo wasn’t one to helicopter parent his son, or try and rain on his parade.

I let myself remember playing chess with Chewie and winning, despite Ben begging me to throw the match. Chewie’s temper tantrum afterwards still made me laugh when I thought of it.

I could still remember Ben’s insistence on opening every door for me, guiding me into every seat I took and even insisting on buckling me up when the ship was taking off or landing. Both our mother’s had thought it was adorable, but Han thought it was a bit much. “Crik, Ben, you gonna tie her shoes for her, too?”

Ben just cocked that lopsided grin of his. “If she asks me to.”

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I officially pulled myself out of my memories, trudging over to my bed and removing the rest of my clothing before sliding in beneath my covers. One last thought I had made me reach into the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out an old holo-com preloaded with a few messages. I had upgraded to newer models when this one got old, but I had kept it around, solely for the messages Ben had sent me years ago.

I turned it on, setting my holo-mail-box to auto play the dozen or so messages Ben had left.

Ben’s face, blue and slightly distorted from his shaky camerawork came into focus. He had been so young then, around fourteen. “Hey, Jay! Me, Dad and Chewie just left Corellia, and we mostly stopped there for medical equipment, but the warehouse had some sweet older blasters too! We couldn’t take them, but I took some recordings of Chewie shooting one and the recoil is so awful! Anyway, once the smuggling run is done, Dad says he might take me and swing by Amatia so I can- uh, we can see you!”

I drifted off to the sound of Ben’s voice, changing as adulthood crept up on him more and more, cracking so often in some videos I still felt bad for him. Puberty had hit Ben like a bus, finally letting him fill out his long arms and legs with enough muscle to look less like a twig and more like a man. His voice deepened to such a low octave it had caused me to jump out of my skin when he finally came to visit after ten months of absence when he was seventeen.

I listened to him through his teenage years, listened to him gain confidence and talk more openly with me about his training, his plans, his doubts. Especially his doubts about Luke.

Finally, I reached the last recording.

“Hey, Jay, I know you’re sleeping right now, but I just wanted to leave you a message. It feels like it’s been so long since I called you, but… it was only last week, wasn’t it? It feels like time passes by a lot slower when you’re not with me. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about things and… well, Master Skywalker has always told me to prevent my feelings towards you from guiding my decisions. He says that will keep me from falling to the dark, and that I need to learn from my grandfather’s mistakes but… I don’t want to do that anymore. There’s this friend of mine, and he’s been telling me that if I really want to do something, I should just do it. That if I want you… I should have all of you. And you should have all of me, and… and that’s the advice I’m taking. I know we never set a hard date for the wedding, or even really decided we would do it but… but I want to now. I want it to be soon. I’m done constantly juggling between what I think I owe the galaxy, owe my family, and what I want with you. When you get this, can you call? I don’t care what time it is, I want to hear what you think, what you want. I’ve been rambling for a while, so I’m gonna head to bed. I love you, Jay.”

The com link turned off, all of the blue light it had been casting disappearing and plunging my room into darkness. Much like my world had been when I had called Ben the next morning to try and tell him through tears of joy that I was ready to marry him, that I loved him too, only to get no reception. Hours later, I was informed that the temple had burned to the ground, and that there were no survivors.

I rolled over in bed, letting a few silent tears fall onto my pillow. Ben Solo had been weeks, maybe days away from officially being my husband when the galaxy had seen fit to rip him away from me. Sure, years had passed, but no added time had helped the pain fade away. I couldn’t even begin to imagine anyone else in the role Ben was supposed to fill for me. The seat intended to be occupied by my spouse would continue to be held by my mother, until she didn’t want it. And from then on, it would be empty. No pearl-clutching nobles would shame me into any marriage for the sake of tradition.

Chapter Text

The next morning starts off like many others. Many romantic holo-films depicted princesses who slept in late, danced out of bed, and sang to birds before being served breakfast in their beds. The reality, in my experience, was never that comfortable. My alarm went off at about five-thirty in the morning, and I couldn’t even consider hitting snooze. I would grab a ten minute shower, wash my face, apply a tinted moisturizer for foundation, delicately brush on a chocolate brown eyeshadow over my lid with a warm orange color dabbed on the inner corners. For bigger events, I would bring in a makeup artist who actually knew what she was doing, and she would apply a full face with large false lashes, bright colored blush and eyeshadow, and eyeliner. For everyday court, this was all I could usually bring myself to do.

Then, I would thoroughly brush my teeth and head to the kitchenette in the family suite to join my mother for caf. The second I sat down at the table, I turned on the holo-net, pouring over my data pad to take notes on what the news broadcast, and any messages from courtiers about today’s events. Mother was silent, not initiating conversation or even bidding me a good morning. I assumed she was still upset about my actions last night, and I was nowhere near willing to apologize over it.

“This just in, the leaders of four new planets have announced their pledge of loyalty to the First Order in the last ten hours. The senators of Attanox, Colarin, Iktotchon, and as of an hour ago, Cyrillia, have all released statements to their own people that the First Order has offered protection and technological advancements in exchange for raw resources. We did reach out to the First Order’s Public Relations department for a comment on why they chose these particular planets, and why all four of them pledged loyalty so quickly. When asked, they released this short video of General Armitage Hux addressing the situation.”

The blue holo flickered, shifting from the male twi’lek reporter to a pale man with bright orange hair and a firmly pressed black uniform. “The First Order has always offered the same things to any planet or system that has pledged their loyalty. Protection from outside threats, advancements in technology and medicine, and educational opportunities for their citizens. Already, our glorious organization has sent military officials from our Public Relations and Research and Development Divisions to correct any misinformation in the formal schooling systems of our newly joining planets, and get their education templates up to par with that of the First Order’s standards.”

Mother had long since set down her mug of caf, staring at the screen in horror. I glanced down at my data pad, seeing multiple messages popping up from various Dukes and Lords, most afraid, some angry. Almost all asking what they needed to do.

I stood from my seat as calmly as I could, typing up a brief message that an emergency meeting of court was to happen.

Soon I was sitting on my family throne in a formal dress, the likes of which I usually wore to court, with a corset bodice, long tiered skirt, and a portrait back. My house colors of black and teal adorned the dress, and while I would normally love wearing such a beautiful dress, I had hardly even looked at it when I tugged it on. My mother’s throne was vacant, but I was hesitant to believe she was just sitting in our rooms, defeatedly staring at a wall. She was doing something, something likely useful, and just keeping it to herself. She was crafty like that.

Around me were the several dozen members of the court that belonged to the ruling families of Amatia. Some of the older Lords and Dukes seemed calm and collected, but even with my connection to the force being as muted as it was, I could sense their fear. I understood it well. The First Order had a need of craftsmen, of scientists, engineers, and manual laborers. What they never seemed to have any use for were aristocrats, kings, rulers of any sort. To them, any of those could simply be killed off and replaced by a distant cousin, or scorned son. The First Order taking over Amatia wouldn’t be of much concern to the common man who simply wished to keep his head down, work his trade, and raise his family. Unless rebels were hiding nearby enough for his house to be affected by the First Order’s cannons.

“My Queen, they have us surrounded!” Lady Halnak said in her panic, pointing at the hologram of a galaxy map in front of us. She spoke the truth, all four planets the First Order seized control of surrounded our borders, cutting our planet, nestled right on the edge of the expansion region, off from the Inner Rim, and most importantly, the Core Worlds, our biggest hope of standing against the First Order. Their strength had always been in the Outer Rim, where far less laws and laughable governments stood in the path of their goals.

“Lord Emert, your younger sister married the sitting King of Cyrillia, correct?” I asked. Cyrillia was an industry heavy world, mostly exporting pit droids and other machinery. The First Order having them under their boot was troubling, but not hearing from an blood ally was more so.

“I have attempted to contact her seven times this morning, Your Grace.” Lord Emert said, his tone not much more put together than Lady Halnak’s. “All calls failed to go through. Eventually, I got a message from an unknown holo-frequency claiming to be her, telling me they were under house arrest and not permitted to speak with anyone.”

“Seems to be her, then.” I said. “Why anyone posing as her would simply reach out to tell you she couldn’t talk is beyond me.”

“What are our options?” An older Duke, named Narrled asked. He had served under my father and I had always appreciated his voice, like a steady hand in a time of uncertainty. “They have surrounded us, but not reached out with any demands, any requests of bending the knee? Have we simply been overlooked?”

“Unlikely.” Lord Emert shot down. “Cyrillia is the only one of these planets where having them as allies is a sound investment. These other worlds, why not desolate and barren, don’t have any tactical value other than… caging us in.”

“We need to reach out to the First Order and convince them all the noble houses of Amatia have sworn their unquestioning loyalty.” Lady Halnak pressed. “Regardless of what they want, we have to agree to it. Otherwise, none of us will survive this.”

“Oh, bend over and take it up the ass from tyrants?!” Lord Emert snapped. “It’s better to die on our feet, with blades in our hands, than to live on our knees.”

“Easy to say for a young man with no children.” She said icily. “You would rather have me watch my children slaughtered than live under the banner of the First Order?”

“Live under the banner? You’re forgetting how often they force the children of nobles into their academy, brainwash them, and turn them into unquestioning slaves dressed as military officers.” Lord Emert argued, his voice growing louder and his face getting redder.

“They’d live!” Lady Halnak protested.

“As slaves!” Lord Emert screamed.

“If they aren’t planning on just blasting us to dust from their ships.” Duke Narrled added. Not nearly as helpful as usual.

“Enough.” I said, my voice even and low. “Attacking us with no offer of allegiance first is unlike the First Order. They’d kill us, but also damage our mines, our factories, and take out large chunks of the civilian population. They would have to clear significant amounts of debris, and supply their own manpower in order to take our raw materials. The Trade Federation pulled a similar strategy to this before the fall of the senate, many years ago. They’re not going to kill us off. They’re boxing us in, preparing to wait us out, cut off our supply chains until we are too weak to resist.”

“Our supply chains?” Lady Halnak asked. “But, My Queen, we hardly import any food, and most of our medicine is made here-”

“Not our food, Lady Halnak.” I said grimly. “Our military.”

The court went still as the truth settled over us all. Amatia had a military, of sorts. Mostly for marching in festivals with fake weapons. Decades of peace hadn’t called for a strong military, something Amatia relied on its allies to provide if war were to break out. All three allies I would have relied upon for military strength were now at the boots of the First Order. The palace had guards, of course. Guards in big showy dress uniforms, and awkwardly large blasters with no battery pack inserted. Police forces, yes. Ones trained to investigate crimes, and issue citations for minor violations of law. Nothing that could stand against the First Order’s cannons. And my planet’s shields would only hold for so long in the event the bastards fired at us.

The doors to the court room opened, my mother standing there with a grim expression on her face. “I need the room, and my daughter.”

Lady Halnak scoffed, “We are in the middle of a crisis, and you want us to give you the room?”

“Out. All of you.” I said firmly. “We’re simply in a waiting game anyways. Go home, put your family's worries at ease. No speaking to the press, no riling up merchants. We cannot deal with our people panicking while the First Order looms.”

They leave, most not happily, and Lord Emert looms outside the door as it closes. He will want to speak with me later, I am certain.

Finally alone, I turn to my mother. “I hope you have information.”

“I have spoken with General Organa.” Mother said briskly. “I know it will only be a matter of time until our communications are cut off, so I called the moment you left.”

“And what grand advice does the General bestow?” I asked, rising from my throne to walk to the other side of the room, where a low table held a few bottles of wine. I set about pouring a glass as she glared at me. She hated drinking, almost as much as she hated criticism about her life long friend.

“She had a few hidden resistance cells on Cyrillia and Attanox. For the past five hours, she has not been able to establish contact with either.”

Five hours. Cyrillia only announced siding with the First Order two hours ago, so their coms were cut much earlier. Of course they hadn’t given loyalty freely. They had likely been looking down the same cannons Amatia would be looking down within a day. I raised the glass to my lips, barely preventing myself from chugging the bittersweet flavored alcohol.

“And on Amatia?” I asked.

“Amatia?” My mother questioned.

“Your best friend had resistance cells on two neighboring planets… and we are now surrounded by her enemies.” I set my glass down on the table, turning to look at my mother with nothing short of accusation in my eyes. “Does she have them here? Or, I suppose I should be asking, how many does she have here?”

Mother was quiet for a moment, reluctant to answer. “One. The abandoned Quadanium steel mine outside of the capitol.”

“On. Our. Doorstep.” I bit out, fury rising in me. “And without even a nod of permission?”

“She had permission.” Mother said, sorrow but no shame in her voice. “I told her she could-”

“When!?” I spat.

“Last month. One of her battleships was seriously damaged, and it’s crew was in bad shape. I… I told her where to land it, where they could hide in order to recover-”

“And I imagine you even walked medical supplies down to the cornered rats yourself.” I accused.

She did not answer.

I stormed past her, yanking the door to the room open and coming face to face with Lord Emert. “I need your service.”

Lord Emert nodded, a fire blazing in his eyes, the passion of a young man ready to fight and die for his planet. “Anything, My Queen.”

“I need you to travel to the abandoned mine outside the capitol, north side, if I’m not mistaken. Get there, and wait for further instruction.” I turned to a servant standing by. “Contact Duke Narrled, and have him come to me at once.”

“He’s just down the hall, Your Grace.” The servant answered, before jogging off to fetch him.

I turned to the two palace guards on either side of the door, “You two are to escort my mother to the suite adjacent to the royal families. Have her handmaidens move her things in there, and do not allow my mother to leave unless I personally order it.”

I turned back to my mother, not allowing myself to focus on his expression of pain. She brought this upon herself. Yes, I was betraying her, but she betrayed me first. I hoped that was enough justification to let me sleep tonight. “I have no need of a co-ruler. And Amatia has no need of a Queen Mother.”

“Jaycari-”

“You are stripped of all titles, all land, and all rights and protections that come with them. Spare me your tears, I have spared you from much worse than losing your privileges as a ruler.” It was so hard not to choke. Not to tear up or just full out break down and cry. She had betrayed me, of course she had to be punished severely. If for no other reason than to prevent a harsher punishment from someone far less forgiving than I was.

I had to force myself not to watch as the guards, men who had likely been children when she took the throne, who had gone through their training under her rule, and had been loyal to her far longer than they had been to me, lead her away towards her new rooms. They were directly across from the ones we had, until very recently, shared. It wasn’t as if I was sending her to the dungeons. No, just to a set of rooms not connected to an outer wall of the palace. No windows. No grand escapes.

Sure, my mother was well into her fifties, but she had told me so many stories of when her and Leia Organa had snuck out of their hotel rooms on Coruscant while on field trips to the Senate that I was not taking any chances. If she would climb out of a window for a trip to the cantina in her teenage years, she would do it in her fifties for her dignity. Or her principles. Whatever she would call it.

Duke Narrled walked into my view, “Your Majesty, you wanted to see me?”

“I need you to organize a tour.” I said softly. Cutting my mother’s heart in two had taken all firmness from my voice. I returned to my glass of wine, no self control could have stopped me from downing it all. I even poured another, just to reward myself for not crying yet.

“A… tour, Your Majesty?”

“I need it to stay confined to the walls of the palace, but I need it to be long.” I explained. “Not long enough to cause suspicion, but enough to buy time.”

He nodded, “I take it this tour is for our anticipated invaders.”

“... anticipated guests will be the term for now.” I said softly, drinking more wine.

“Understood.” The Duke said. “Now, the business with your mother. Forgive me, but I overheard-”

“You were meant to.” I admitted.

“Shall I prepare a stealthy space ship to locate her somewhere far less-”

“No.” I said, sitting on the edge of the low table and nursing my wine glass. I couldn't bring myself to sit on the chair. “She will remain here. But… the stealth aircraft you have in mind, how many can it fit?”

The Duke cracked a grin. “That depends on which one you’ll be needing.”

Chapter Text

Going back to my quarters that night was depressing. All of my life I had lived in the same set of rooms as my parents, sometimes aunts, uncles and cousins occupying the other suites in the mansion for months at a time. A loved one was never far, always ready to gather me in their arms and give me affection.

Tonight, walking back into my rooms was so emotionally rattling I regretted all the wine I drank earlier. The kitchenette was surprisingly bare now. Little decorations, the rack holding caf mugs, the bowl of fake fruit made of crystal and glass, even the display with the decorative plates from my mother’s side of the family were gone. Moved across the hall to her new rooms, I’d imagine. The same has been done to the living room. Like decorations here and there, including my favorite blanket that was always draped over the couch, are gone.

Deciding that if I was going to hurt tonight, I might as well rip the entire band aid off, I wanted down the small hallway to the room my parents had shared. When Father died, a lot of his possessions had been either given to charity, or to relatives. His rings, grander fur cloaks, one or two pairs of his shoes had all gone to close family.

Some things, however, Mother had kept for herself in here. A few of his night shirts, some books he enjoyed thumbing through on occasion, and his old pipe. Mother swore she hates smoking and would promptly leave the room if he ever lit his pipe, but for years she had kept it right on his bedside table, propped up next to his tin of tabac.

All of it was gone.

The room was so bare the grand king sized bed didn’t even have sheets on it anymore.

I took in a deep breath, feeling my chest shudder under the effort of it all.

When Father had died, all I had wanted to do was hide under my bed like a child and cry for days. Of course, that wasn’t something I had the luxury of doing. Every morning I had to be up early as usual, dressed head to toe in mourning clothes for months. Every day held the same pattern of going to various memorial services for my father, his funeral that took three days to complete, and going to every single school, university, hospital, and shopping mall that wanted to put up a statue of my father, or dedicate a kriffing sitting bench to him. All with a practiced look of sorrow on my face, and words of gratitude on my tongue.

Though I couldn’t say he didn’t deserve all the honors people wanted to grant him in death as he had been a nearly flawless king, this manufactured grieving process had left me nearly catatonic when not in public. All I did was sit in my room and stare at the wall, not able to decide if I was sad or numb, hungry or sated, tired or just about dead. Through it all, my mother was my only constant source of affection.

In the mornings she would coax me to eat, bite by bite if need be. She waved off the palace chef and cooked me my favorite meals from childhood for breakfast lunch and dinner. Roasted kajaka root and chando peppers, fritzle fries, mashed chokeroot, rootleaf stew, and even five blossom bread. She played music in the suite that I had loved as a teenager, and she hated every note of it, but played it anyway. Every night she made me hot chocolate and tucked me into bed like I was a child again.

She had just lost her husband, the love of her life, but every moment of her day was centered around me.

I took off my clothes, crawling into bed. I fished around in my nightstand, taking out my old holo com and an old necklace. It was a kyber crystal, a dark teal in color and very rough looking, wrapped up securely with a piece of dark scrap wire, clumsily wrapped around an old leather cord, tied to itself in two different places because of the leather being so old and worn it had to be reattached to itself.

Ben had come back from one of his explorative missions with Master Skywalker, proudly holding the rare color of crystal. He had explained that he had to take it secretly, as Master Skywalker likely wouldn’t have approved of Ben giving something so sacred to the Jedi away to someone who wasn’t one, even if I was force sensitive. Ben had just turned seventeen at the time and had been away from me for so long, over ten months. He had gotten so much taller, and his voice so much deeper.

When he had wrapped the handmade necklace around my throat and gently moved my hair out of the way, the tips of his fingers had touched my skin. I could remember being shocked at how much his hands had changed. So strong looking, so rough and calloused, tiny little scars here or there from the heat of a saber, or snagged during a fall. They were the hands of a man. His jawline had filled out, sharpening into something rugged even when clean shaven. It was my first time realizing that my Ben, my perfect boy, was no longer the lanky string bean of a boy I had fallen in love with. He was a grown man now, hardened a bit more, disciplined a bit more. He was a man.

Then he cracked that lopsided grin of his, and I was relieved to know that my perfect, beautiful man was still a giant dork beneath all that maturity.

I turned the com link on, setting the messaged to auto play, and hid under my blankets, cradling the beautiful teal kyber crystal in my hands as I imagined that none of the current threats to my planet and family existed.

There was no First Order. Ben had led the other Jedi in a powerful revolt years ago, and had snuffed them out completely. There was no attack on the Jedi Temple. Ben had become a Jedi, and taken a padawan of his own. There was no unfixable rift between me and my mother. Ben had married me years ago and spent most of his time on Amatia. He had his own temple here, and some noble families from the core had sent their children to him to learn.

Both of us had long days, but we always ended them in bed with each other, letting each other's love and affection wash away the stress of the day. Problems came, but they were always fixed. Arguments occurred, but never lasted long. Ben and I were planning on starting a family of our own, and teasing each other by coming up with stupid, ridiculous names for the hypothetical children.

--------------------------

The night brought me nothing but anxiety, even with Ben’s voice trying to lull me to sleep I did nothing but toss and turn. Every half second of hard fought for sleep was filled with images of Amatia being blown to bits.

Waking up was inevitable but dragging myself out of bed was harder than it had ever been. Sometimes, on days with little to do I had treated myself to a long shower or a bath, but today I found myself standing under the shower, cold stinging water running down my back for a solid twenty minutes before I even had the emotional strength to turn the knob to make it hot. Cleaning myself was more of a chore than it had ever been. Everything from dragging the soapy cloth across my body to scrubbing at my plague with my toothbrush felt so much harder. Like my arms were weighed down with chains.

It wasn’t until after I was dressed in another black and teal gown than the update came over my data-pad. The First Order was in our Atmosphere. I skipped breakfast, didn’t even bother with caf, and sat on my throne. Court was far more empty than usual. Lord Emert was there, and Lord Narrel, a few other older lords and dukes, but most of the younger were gone. My father would have called any courtier under the age of forty ‘new blood’. The thinnest, easiest to wash away, the ones not yet bound to their lineage with their whole being.

Lord Emert seemed to defy my father’s belief that age was the distinguishing factor between ‘new blood’ and ‘true blood’ as he would have put it.

It was only a few brief minutes before a servant came in holding a holo-com. “Your Grace, A ‘General Hux’ wishes to speak to you.”

I motioned to the holo-terminal on the floor of the throne room. “Put him through.”

The face that quickly stared back at me was surprisingly young for a General. Yet there was no mistaking him for anything other than a military man of high authority. Everything from his sharply pressed uniform, his clean shaven face, rigid posture, meticulously groomed hair and sideburns screamed what he was with no question.

“Queen Jaycari Casshel, I find it pleasing to finally put a face to the name.” He said, his tone seemed relatively friendly but there was no mistaking that it would go sharp at the slightest hint of opposition. Patience was a foreign concept to military officers, yet a limitless resource to the enlisted ranks.

“I can’t say I haven’t been expecting your call, General. What with your ships looming above unannounced.” I said, also keeping my tone friendly but letting him know in no uncertain terms that his military’s presence was an insult.

“Ah, yes. Forgive the intrusion. I had wanted to send word several days ago that we would be paying your lovely planet a visit, however, doing so would be a breach of privacy for our newly allied worlds. I’m sure you understand.” He said.

“I understand completely, General. No, to what do I owe this charming conversation?” I asked, trying very hard to keep sarcasm out of my tone and not doing a perfect job of it.

“Myself and the Supreme Leader will be making port within the hour to discuss your planets… options, Your Highness.” The General said ominously. “I expect we will be at your court rather soon after landing.”

“Transportation will be provided.” I said.

“We will not require any transportation.” The General waved off.

“You won’t? The closest port for a large spacecraft is several miles away. If you insist on making your men walk, I suppose that’s your own-”

“We will be landing outside of the castle in your capital. That is where your court is located, is it not?” The General probed.

“Well, yes-”

“Very well. I look forward to our meeting, Your Highness.” The transmission cut, leaving you confused.

“How are they going to land their military craft right outside the door?” One of the ladies pondered.

“They won’t, unless they plan on crashing it.” Duke Narrel said. “They must be using a smaller craft. He did only specify that he and the Ren devil were coming.”

“It can’t just be them.” Lord Emert protested. “They’d send a fleet, an invading force, surely! Or only send in a few low ranking officers to negotiate, then either level us with cannon fire, or send in the occupation troops to keep us in line and burn away all the history they don’t want our children taught. This has to be a lie-”

I waved my hand over the control to the holo-terminal, pulling up the scanners for our atmosphere. After a brief moment, it showed a very small, hardly perceivable craft making their way to the planet’s surface.

The wait seemed endless, every breath dying to be faster and harder than the last. Oh what bliss going into a full blown panic would be. Screaming and crying, maybe even vomiting. One quick glance around the room led me to lock eyes with Duke Narrled. He stood fast, seemingly unbothered by whatever his fate would be. The Duke and my father could not have been any more different in political belief, personality, or appearance, but in the moment I could have sworn my father was standing there, not him.

The only thing they had ever had in common was their unquestioning loyalty to their planet and duty. It would make sense then, that I could see my father reflected in him now. I raised my chin a little higher as I heard the sound of an approaching spacecraft beginning it’s landing process. My father wouldn’t show fear. I would not either.

The servant from before entered the throne room again, looking slightly shaken. “General Armitage Hux, and the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren, Your Majesty.”

The two announced men entered, the Supreme Leader one pace in front of the General. I had seen snippets of the Supreme Leader on the Holo-net. Nothing prepared me for him in person. The entire room went cold. It felt like all hope, all happiness had been sucked out of me and my surroundings. The closer the Supreme Leader got to my throne, the worse the feeling got.

I could somewhat recall Ben, around the age of thirteen, telling me that he had a run in with a group of people called the Knights of Ren. Before he knew they were there, it had felt unusually cold in the area. If there had ever been any doubt in your mind about what the Supreme Leader was, it existed no more. Only the two of them were here. There was no escort of storm troopers, not even another lowly lieutenant on their heels.

As they reached the edge of the dias, I stood from my throne to greet them. A monarch never rose from their throne unless addressing an equal or a superior, so I hoped this was respect enough for them. Enough that they wouldn’t immediately slaughter my entire court, anyways.

“Supreme Leader, General.” I said, “You spoke to me of options, General?”

“That he did.” The Supreme Leader’s voice was crackled and distorted from beneath the mask. “You have two, in fact. Death, or the honoring of this.”

He held out his hand, a small holo-com in his hand lighting up and displaying a document, written in familiar handwriting and sealed with my family's crest. A closer look showed it to be the written agreement between my mother and General Organa, agreeing that I would one day wed Ben Solo. I was stunned for a moment, mind reeling over the implications. The only thing I could imagine was this was his way of gloating. My mother had always suspected that Master Skywalker’s temple had been destroyed by Sith, and that’s surely what this man was. I was likely staring at the masked face of the man who had killed my betrothed, and ripped that holo-com from his corpse.

Looking back up at the Supreme Leader with the calmest face I could imagine. “I’m afraid I cannot honor a contract with a dead man, Supreme Leader. I must say, subjugating four useless planets and risking an in person visit to Amatia just to gloat is not becoming of you.”

He put the Holo-Com away. “I’m not here to gloat.” His hands traveled up to his helmet, followed by a click and a hiss as he removed his helmet. “I’m here to claim my throne.”

It was all I could do to keep standing as I stared into the eyes of Ben Solo.