Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sexy Sinbad’s Sindria Sins

[11:34 AM]

Alibaba: Okay

Alibaba: Listen 

Alibaba: I know I’m only a guest here in Sindria

Alibaba: But why is this the fifth time I’ve seen Mystras carry Sinbad bridal style for no apparent reason 

Pisti: omg

Sharrkan: ugh gay people

Yamraiha: shar ur literally a bottom 

Sharrkan: JSQQIISHWBWSJWJHCJRBESHAYHSNDBENWNRIDJEBALANSWBNEEKDDNFNR

Ja’far: I really could have gone without seeing this.

Spartos: So couqlf habw I.

Alibaba: Is my question ever gonna get answered or

Kougyoku: They’re gay, Alibaba. Let them be. 

Alibaba: That’s not the point Kougyoku 

Alibaba: Mystras randomly walked into my room carrying Sinbad, stared at me for a few minutes, then walked back out with him

Kougyoku: My point still stands.

Mystras: for the record i have really bad eyesight (i wasnt wearing the contacts yam made for me atm) so i actually had no idea whos room we walked into and who you were. u were just a blob

Alibaba: I honestly don’t feel that much better because Sinbad is the one I’m worried about

Sinbad: excuse me

Sinbad: i don't appreciate this slander

Kougyoku: Then die.

Ja’far: Then die.

Serendine: Then die.

Yamraiha: then die

Alibaba: Then die

Pisti: then die! <3

Sinbad: thanks guys

Masrur: Shut up

Sinbad: :(

Chapter Text

Sexy Sinbad’s Sindria Sins

[7:09 AM]

Alibaba: I swear to the gods I need to get fucking glasses or something 

Sharrkan: what happened my dude

Alibaba: Okay number one don’t call me that

Sharrkan: :(

Sharrkan: i just want to have fun

Pisti: [girls just want to have fun plays except instead of girls its saying sharrkan]

Alibaba: And number two I just read “suits” as “sluts”

Kougyoku: You’re a slut, sweetie. 

Morgiana: youre a slut Alibaba

Hakuryuu: If you weren’t a slut, that might not happen to you.

Alibaba: WHAT THE FUCM

Sharrkan: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Serendine: Please never type that out again, thank you.

Sharrkan: shut up bitch

Serendine: I will put poisonous spiders into your bathtub, sink, and laundry.

Sharrkan: okay wait no thats actually terrifying pls dont do that

Serendine: Too late.

Sharrkan: NO

Yamraiha: he deserves it

Pisti: DESERVED

Sharrkan: I HATE IT HERE

Ja’far: Then die.

Mystras: hey by chance does anyone know how to get out of a griffon’s nest without dying time sensitive question please respond 

Ja’far:

Ja’far: Mystras.

Sinbad: HNGRGFGFNNFFAHDH WHEN I SAID TO GO LOOK AT THE GRIFFON NEST THAT JUST APPEARED LAST WEEK IT WAS A JOKE

Mystras: I KNOW THAT SHUT THE HELL UP JUST SOMEONE PLEASE COME HELP ME IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO DIE ALL I HAVE IS THE CLOTHES IM WEARING

Yamraiha: BTCH U BETTER NOT DIE

Yamraiha: U PROMISED UD HELP W MY NEW SPELL I NEED TO TEST OUT

Spartos: In tath casgt, I yhinl he mogjy nw netter pff dead.

Sharrkan: bro wtf did you just say

Spartos: Skut ip, I’mm yripng ny nest.

Sharrkan: thanks youre still incomprehensible

Spartos: Ugh.

Pisti: yeah <3

Hakuryuu: Yeah.

Yamraiha: ya

Sinbad: yeah

Masrur: Yeah

Kougyoku: Yeah.

Mystras: GIYS PLS IM ABT TO DIE PLS PLD OG GODS OF UCK THE YHING IS COMING BA CK SHI T SHIT FUCKFUCKFU

Mystras: CK INGSHIT FU CKKKKKK

Kougyoku: Really though, y’all should help him.

Sinbad: he’s fine

Serendine: He’s fine.

Ja’far: He’s fine.

Alibaba: You know what I’m going to go out for a walk and maybe I’ll find Mystras on the way

Hakuryuu: He means he’s going to go save him.

[9:25 AM]

Mystras: freiendship with Sinbad and Serendine and Js’faf ended, now Alibaba is my new bestfriend 

Serendine: You didn’t even spell friendship right.

Yamraiha: didnt spell jafars name right either

Ja’far: … 

Sinbad: hello my name is sombad and this is my advisor js’faf

Sinbad: fuck

Pisti: HELLO MY NAME IS PISTI AND THIS IS MY FRIEND JS’FAF AND MY KING SOMBAG

Sharrkan: haha somgbag

Sharrkan: FUCK??!

Mystras: is this a curse???

Mystras: newest trend??

Hakuryuu: I don’t think it’s the best thing to consider curses to be trends, but whatever suits you best.

Kougyoku: Hakuryuu is looking at his phone with disgust, by the way.

Mystras: :/

[8:08 PM]

Pisti: OMG YALL

Pisti: THE UPDATE LETS US CHANGE OUR NAMES AND EACHOTHERS

Yamraiha: oh gods 

Pisti changed Sinbad’s name to Somgbag!

Pisti changed Ja’far’s name to Js’faf!

Somgbag: do you mind

Pisti: no i dont actually <3

Js’faf: … 

Kougyoku: In that case…

Kougyoku changed Alibaba’s name to Slut!

Slut: WHY

Kougyoku: It’s because you are one, dear.

Slut: 😭

Pisti: oh oh!!

Spartos: I am afraid.

Sharrkan: ^

Pisti changed Sharrkan’s name to Bottom!

Bottom: KZHQWJSBWKAABZKAWBWSJXXHDOEWNAJZZBSHWNWNXNJSSKQJDHENNSSNANSNAMAMKZDOQLQBBDUGWEBDJAKQHXJAKKNSZJZJSNGJWLAOAODNNSNSSJJSS

Masrur: Is he alright

Yamraiha: give him a min

Bottom: THIS IS SLANDER

Pisti: why? because its true?

Bottom: YOURE A BOTTOM TOO WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Pisti: yes i am <3 and i am proud of it

Yamraiha: shes a power bottom

Pisti: ty yam ur a real one

Yamraiha: mhm

Yamraiha changed her name to Yam!

Yam: better

Pisti: ooooohh

Serendine: Hm, in that case.

Serendine changed her name to Seren!

Bottom: WAIT WE CAN CHANGC OUR OWN NAMES HOW

Pisti: NO ONE TWLL HIM

Bottom: SOMEONE TELL ME

Spartos: No.

Masrur: No

Js’faf: No.

Seren: No.

Somgbag: i will if you bring me alcohol!! :D

Js’faf: NO!

Mystras: wait bring me some too !!

Spartos: Do not dp that.

Spartos: He’ll omly srt somwthjng on fire afain.

Mystras: it was only one time :(

Spartos: Nunver one, uou have set yjings on fpre morw than once. Nimber twp, wven if it was omly once, it’s syill ome tine too manu.

Mystras: :(

Seren changed Mystras’ name to Arsonist!

Arsonist: :0

Chapter Text

Sexy Sinbad’s Sindria Sins

[3:34 PM]

Yam: just heard what i think has to be the most disgusting phrase ive ever experienced w my own 2 ears

Spartos: ?????

Pisti: receipts or ur lying

Yam: "cottage cheese is just crunchy cum"

Bottom: goodbye

Somgbag: shit 

Somgbag: well i mean theyre not wrong :/

Seren: I'm executing you immediately. 

Js'faf: Oh thank the gods.

Arsonist: sayonara sin it wasnt nice knowing you

Somgbag: </3

Seren: Good.

Kougyoku: Wait, can I kill him instead?

Seren: State your case.

Kougyoku: He tried to woo me, a married woman.

Seren: Permission granted.

Somgbag: married?? to whom??

Kougyoku: Don’t you know? Morgiana and I are married.

Morgiana: its true

Hakuryuu: I can confirm.

Slut: So can I

Spartos: ^

Masrur: ^^

Masrur: I went to the wedding, it was nice

Pisti: ^^^

Pisti: i wasnt invited but they had food so i snuck in !!

Hakuryuu: Your presence was very memorable.

Pisti: ty !!

Morgiana: but. you were invited?

Pisti: omg !! i was?

Kougyoku: you didnt get our invitation card?

Pisti: no i didnt! sharrkan must have eaten it

Bottom: my food did taste a little papery on the day i got my invitation, i must say

Somgbag: what?? is happening??

Arsonist: they got married sinbad didnt you hear them

Hakuryuu: Yes. Then Morgiana and I got married the month after. Judar and I’s wedding is in three weeks. 

Morgiana: yes, can confirm

Kougyoku: Yep!

Slut: It’s all as he said!!

Somgbag: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS HAPPENING I CANT TELL IF YALL ARE JOKING OR NOT

Yam: y would they be joking sinbad??

Somgbag: PLEASE IM GONNA CRY

Js’faf: Then cry.

Seren: Beg for mercy. 

Somgbag: :,)

[9:08 AM]

Seren: For those of you that aren’t aware, we’re currently at a political meeting right now with many other world leaders.

Seren: And somehow we came upon the topic of trans people and trans rights (the meeting isn’t even about this).

Seren: I :)) Am :)) About :)) To :)) Commit :)) A :)) Crime :))

Yam: kill them do it

Seren: I fucking want to.

Seren: Like, I'm so tired of this shit.

Seren: Just shut up.

Seren: You better fucking respect trans people, or I'm gonna identify as a fucking death sentence.

Seren: Simple as that. 

Slut: Respect trans people or your pronouns are gonna be was/were

Seren: Yes, thank you. That was perfect actually. 

Kougyoku: As a trans woman, I ask that I be granted permission to come in there and beat their ass (with words). 

Seren: As much as I would like to let you, I can’t do that.

Seren: Your brothers look like they’re about to commit mass murder anyway though, so I think your basises are covered. 

Yam: ok i hate to interrupt this bc ur all right but this is urgent have any of u seen my staff i need it now or the spell i casted yesterday (its an ongoing spell) is going to cause the right wing of the palace to literally explode 

Bottom: HABWJABNSND WTF?? 

Bottom: IM IN THE RIGHT WING NO

Yam: THEN HELP ME FIND MY STAFF GODSDAMNIT

Yam: WHAT R U EVEN DOING IN THE RIGHT WING NO ONE EVER USES THE RIGHT WING ITS ABANDONED THATS Y I USED IT AS MY TEST SUBJECT

Bottom: I USE IT AS A QUIET PLACE TO PRACTICE SHUT UP DAMNIT 

Hakuryuu: I just heard explosion noises…

Yam: WELL THATS BC THE RIGHT WING JUST BLEW TF UP

Hakuryuu: Yikes. Might wanna fix that.

Yam: 

Yam: ive literally never gotten so pissed at someone so fast 

Yam: get over here so i can beat ur fucking ass haikyuu 

Hakuryuu: MY NAME ISN’T HAIKYUU, FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME. THE NEXT PERSON THAT CALLS ME FUCKING HAIKYUU IS GETTING EXECUTED. 

Slut: Hey 

Slut: Haikyuu

Hakuryuu:

Hakuryuu: Say goodbye to your breathing privileges, you son of a bitch.

Slut: HEY

Slut: MY MOTHER WAS A VERY NICE LADY

Hakuryuu: Ha. Can’t relate.

Sharrkan: ^

Yam: FORGET THAT SHIT GET OVER HERE SO I CAN BEAT UR ASS DO U KNOW HOW MUCH DAMAGE JUST GOT DONE

Hakuryuu: Sounds like a personal problem to me.

Yam: ok haikyuu

Hakuryuu: FUCK YOU!!!

Kougyoku: If it makes you feel any better, Hakuryuu, I got called “Kougoku” once and just straight up “Goku” another time.

Hakuryuu: That doesn’t make me feel better in the slightest, but thank you for giving me more things to make fun of you with.

Kougyoku: 

Kougyoku: I try and be nice for ONCE in my life and THIS is the thanks I get.

Hakuryuu: Yeah. That’s how life works. Get used to it. 

Kougyoku: I will ruin your life.

Hakuryuu: You’re gonna have to fight my mom for that one.

Kougyoku:

Kougyoku: I-

Kougyoku: I can’t even say anything back, because I feel like that would be disrespectful.

Hakuryuu: Then die.

Kougyoku: Imagine being able to do that.

Chapter Text

Sexy Sinbad’s Sindria Sins

[11:12 AM]

Somgbag: after that meeting i have discovered a Thing

Pisti: what did u discover !!

Js’faf: It better not be something stupid.

[DELETED] "Somgbag: ive discovered that my relationship with Kouen is somewhere between fuck you and id fuck you and i dont exactly know how to deal with that"

Js’faf: What did I Just Say.

Seren: Bitch, we already knew that shit. Try telling us something new for once.

Somgbag: i mean um. 

Somgbag: i found out i dont like political meetings

Bottom: bro whyd u feel the need to delete that

Arsonist: ^

Somgbag: delete What? ☺️☺

Hakuryuu: …

Hakuryuu: I could have gone without seeing that, but it’s not my business anyway. So. Whatever, I guess.

Pisti: ohhh 

Pisti: its bc Hakuryuu and Kougyoku are in this chat that u deleted it then

Somgbag: hm? what are you Talking About? ☺️ deleted What? ☺️

Kougyoku: You’re not fooling anyone. Drop the act, everyone saw it. 

Seren: It’s not much of an act if everyone knows the truth. 

Kougyoku: I suppose that’s true.

Js’faf: The sexual tension between you two is rather obvious anyway, Sinbad. That message wasn’t anything surprising.

Arsonist: are u kidding me Sinbad has sexual tension with pretty much every single world leader or influential figure that’s within his age range

Arsonist: its not limited to just Kouen

Arsonist:  actually know what he has sexual tension with world leader/influential figures that arent in his age range even

Somgbag: i get that yall feel the need to call me out on my bullshit but do yall have to drag me too? :,)

Yam: its only fair

Arsonist: u have long hair. easy to grab and drag u with

Somgbag: that was literally such a horrible joke

Arsonist: ur only mad bc it was at ur expense 

Seren: No, he’s right. That joke sucked.

Arsonist: :(((

[2:00 AM]

Bottom: hey how do i Boil water

Yam: … 

Js’faf: … 

Kougyoku: … 

Seren: … 

Hakuryuu: … 

Masrur: even i know how to do that

Bottom: im trying my best :(

Yam: no ur being a fckin idiot

Bottom: :(

Hakuryuu: From what I’ve seen, being an idiot is his best.

Bottom:

Bottom: ok haikyuu

Hakuryuu: Drop your location. 

Hakuryuu: Right Now.

Bottom: no <3

Hakuryuu:

Hakuryuu: Fine.

Hakuryuu: Then I’ll find you Myself.

Bottom: lmao good luck with that

Hakuryuu: I won’t need luck for this.

Bottom: okay sure 🙄🤚

Bottom: waIT WTFHOWDI DYO U GETHERW SOFASYQHATTEHHFICJ

Bottom: WHATETHFUVKWHATTHEUCKKWHAYFYHEFUCKQHTATTHEYCKWHATTHEFUCKWHATTHEFUVKQHAYTHE

Bottom: -$?3&/!2ajbssnskdiw-’mwworn¥]!].<_¥93$’azgowif’qnwllalsnn¥]’wlse¥!£]]£]•[+{}€~!{£\\!{{!£~¥,¥{{!{>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Bottom: @$$

Kougyoku:

Kougyoku: Did you just purposely spell ass or-

Yam: cant belive shars last word was ass

Js’faf: Unfortunately, that checks out.

Seren: Seems about right.

Bottom: YALL UNGRATEFUL WHORES

Bottom: YALL LUCKY I EVEN BOTHER TO GRACE YALL W MY PRESCENSE 

Bottom: *PRWCSENSE

Bottom: **PRESENSE 

Bottom: THERE

Seren: ***PRESENCE

Bottom:

Kougyoku: How’d you manage to get out of Hakuryuu’s grasp?

Bottom: … 

Hakuryuu: He didn’t.

Hakuryuu: I’m holding him in a choke hold.

Masrur: Sounds festive

Bottom: WHAT THEFUCK

Bottom: YOU SHOULD BE ON MY SIDE

Masrur: No

Bottom: TRAITOR

Masrur: I was never on your side to begin with

Bottom: UR SUCH A FAKE FRIEND OMG

Masrur: Since when were we friends 

Bottom: 

Bottom: ok i cant tell if that was a joke or not but im really hoping it was bc ur legit my very best friend im genuinely about to start crying

Masrur: Oh

Hakuryuu: He is genuinely about to start crying, by the way. 

Masrur: Oh

Masrur: I’m sorry it was just a joke I didn’t know it’d hurt you like that

Bottom: u promise it was just a joke

Masrur: Yes

Masrur: I consider you my best friend too

Bottom: [ugly sobbing as i remeber how muc i dont deserve masrur]

Masrur: Wait why are you crying again??

Bottom: no no im not literally crying. even if i was tho its like happy crying

Masrur: Oh ok

Kougyoku: That was a rather wholesome interaction, oddly enough.

Bottom: girl i just had my heart ripped out then stitched back in in the span of 3 minutes how was that wholesome

Kougyoku: I was referring to Masrur for the most part, not much of you.

Bottom: :|

[8:45 AM]

Slut: why the fuck were all of yall awake at two am?????

Slut: are yall ok???

Hakuryuu: Says the one who’s name is Literally slut.

Pisti: hey theres nothing wrong with being a slut !!!!!!!

Hakuryuu: I never said there was anything wrong with it. What I am saying is that if you’re just gonna accept your name change, that someone else gave you, and not do anything to change it yourself, then you’re a coward. 

Slut:

Slut: ok then…  

Slut changed Hakuryuu’s name to Haikyuu!

Haikyuu:

Haikyuu: I shouldn’t have let you live the first time. WHERE IS YOUR ASS!?!?

Slut: IM A BAD BITCH YOU CANT KILL ME

Kougyoku: The rest of us, when we see you dead later: Alibaba! Alibaba! Oh my fuckin’ god, he fuckin’ dead.

Slut: i-

Slut: >:(

Somgbag: i am rather confused as to why you didnt put up much of a fight when you were given that name ngl

Slut: i thought it was funny lol

Bottom: bruh

Haikyuu: ^

Kougyoku: Damn, that must suck.

Haikyuu: You suck.

Kougyoku: Not as much as you. <3

Pisti: yesss queen get his ass !!

Haikyuu: What did I ever do to you??

Pisti: nothing but she used a heart in her sentence so she automatically has my favor

Haikyuu: Okay… That sounds fake but… Okay… 

Pisti: <3

Haikyuu: </3

Pisti: :(

Haikyuu: :P

Kougyoku: Wh-

Kougyoku: You okay, Haikyuu?

Haikyuu:

Haikyuu changed Kougyoku’s name to Goku!

Pisti: yes!! retaliation!! get her ass!!

Goku:

Goku: Bitch.

Haikyuu: Fuck you, that’s what you get. 

Goku: Fuck you.

Haikyuu: Fuck YOU.

Goku: Fuck YOU.

Haikyuu: FUCK YOU!

Goku: FUCK YOU, BITCH!!

Pisti: yes!! bring out the bold!! beat his ass!!

Spartos: I can’t tell who you’re truly rooting for, and that scares me.

Pisti: for violence <3

Spartos:

Spartos: Do you need a therapist-

Bottom: we all need a therapist babes

Spartos: Wh-

Spartos: Did you just call me “babes?” (///Д///)  

Bottom: goddamnit ive been hanging around the palace maids for too long

Bottom: dont take that personally it was an accident my bad

Pisti: omg spartos you use emoticons?? thats so cute !!!

Spartos: (//>//-//<//)

Somgbag: wait what?? the palace maids??? since when have you hung out w them??

Bottom: since like three months ago. i ran into them when i was bored and they were talking shit about you so i joined in 

Somgbag:

Somgbag: okay first of all

Bottom: im kidding im kidding

Bottom: we were talking about how old you look

Somgbag: where are you

Somgbag: drop your location right now you bag of lobster shit

Slut: Bag of lobster shit I-

Goku: I’m stealing that.

Bottom: no <3

Js’faf: Sharrkan, I don’t think you understand what you’ve just done.

Somgbag: im seriously going to kill you sharrkan fuck you

Bottom:

Bottom: u rlly are one vain hoe aint ya

Seren: You have no idea.

Chapter Text

Sexy Sinbad’s Sindria Sins

[12:30 PM]

Yam: i wasnt n love w her nd i was just helping out a friend 

Yam: wait this is the wrong chat that was meant to be a dm to seren

Seren: Please. When she left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month. And I saw you eat a cheeseburger!

Bottom: what?? you ate a cheeseburger??

Seren: Well? Didn't you?

Yam: i... mightve...

Seren: I can't believe you didn't tell me!

Yam: oh come on! like u tell me everything?

Seren: What have I not told you?

Yam: oh! idk! how abt... the fact that underwear on the support column is urs from when u were having sex w Mystras out on the terrace!!!!!

Arsonist: MABBQUSHBWNABSFENSJABSSHSJWNSBDNSBABDNF NSKQOWJBWNBAJDD COME ON HJASGHDSAGDJSAGJ THAT WAS UNNECESSARY ASJDGJASHFJADSBFJDASBKSBDKSDFJAB

Seren: What!?! Wait a minute, who told you?!?

Somgbag:  

Somgbag: [slowly raises hand]

Seren: You are dead meat, you asshole!

Somgbag: i didnt know it was a big secret!

Seren: Oh it's not big. Not at all. Kind of along the same lines as... oh I don't know... HAVING A THREESOME WITH KOUEN AND MUU NOT EVEN AN HOUR AFTER A POLITICAL MEETING!!!

Js'faf: WHAT!?!?!?

Arsonist: BRO!!!

Yam: U HAD A 3SOME W KOUEN N MUU!?!?

Haikyuu: What the Fuck.

Goku: ^

Somgbag: you bitch

Bottom: howd it happen! howd it happen! 

Somgbag: no! come on theres nothing to hear nothing happened!

Seren: Oh, as opposed to all the other times you casually had sex with two other massively influential men of other countries!

Somgbag: oh shut up!

Arsonist: i cant believe you! you told me u had a fling!

Js'faf: Mystras, what did you think a fling was?

Arsonist: idk! u see something, u hear a word i thought that's what it was!

Arsonist: tell us what happened!

Bottom: yeah!! give us the deets!!

Yam: tell us!

Pisti: yeah yeah!

Somgbag: SPARTOS GOT PEGGED BY PISTI

Bottom: NEBBISBAKSSHSMAANSNSNSNLSAFJSDFHSDHLFSKDFSDLKJ

Spartos: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS

Pisti: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

Somgbag: if I'm going down im taking everybody with me !!

Pisti: WELL JAFAR FUCKED KOUEN

Yam: WHAT????

Somgbag: WHAT

Bottom: JAFAR???

Bottom: @Js’faf EXPLAIN

Js’faf: …

Js’faf: No comment.

Somgbag: DUDE

Arsonist: BRO

Goku: HELLO??????

Goku: I’VE BEEN CALLING ALIBABA A SLUT (affectionate) THIS WHOLE TIME, BUT MAYBE KOUEN WAS THE REAL WHORE.

Morgiana: of course he is hes a himbo

Haikyuu:

Goku:

Goku: Did you just freely call my brother a himbo?

Morgiana: yes. i do not retract my statement

Somgbag: how could u say something so true yet so controversial

Slut: I mean,, shes not. wrong

Seren: The hero we need, but don’t deserve.

Arsonist: would this be a good time to mention that i have Also fucked kouen

Spartos:

Somgbag:

Haikyuu:

Pisti: 

Goku:

Seren:

Bottom:

Yam:

Yam: would anyone else like to admit to fucking kouen ren?

Slut:

Slut:

Slut: So um

Haikyuu: What.

Goku: Alibaba.

Slut: yes?

Goku: You’re Joking, right?

Slut:

Slut: I could say yes but then that’d be Lying

Goku: What the Fuck.

Haikyuu: ^

Goku: I take back everything I said about Kouen being the real slut. Alibaba is, and always will be, the number one hoe.

Haikyuu: ^

Morgiana: ^^

Bottom: thats actually like such an impressive title

Bottom: and its being given to u by a princess and prince too (plus morgiana) so its like extra impressive

Pisti: ^

Arsonist: ^^

Somgbag: ^^^

Seren: ^^^^

Goku: So we all agree that Alibaba is the Mega Slut (TM)?

Slut: You’ve had your fair share of being a hoe too but ok

Goku: Name one instance.

Slut: Morgiana (sorry Morg), Judar, me, Myron, Toto, Nanaumi

Slut: I could go on

Goku:

Morgiana:  

Morgiana: i don’t appreciate being in the crossfire here

Slut: Sorry :P collateral damage

Morgiana: like you freaking out and running to my room two days ago to wake me up at ass-o-clock after having just woken up in bed with Sinbad and Mystras after getting drunk the night before?

Arsonist: i-

Somgbag: damn calling me out like that

Morgiana: shut up

Somgbag: 

Somgbag: ecuaem em

Somgbag: what the fuck??

Arsonist: nice

Slut: @Morgiana I know you woke up with Serendine once so dont even

Seren:

Seren: Damn, okay then. Call my ass like that, why don’t you.

Somgbag: haha loser

Seren: Be silent, bottom (insult). 

Somgbag: BAJWWHEBDJENQKBSBDDB IM NOT BABWHHDJGGQBSB IM NOT A BOTTOM JASHEWJEB

Seren: You bottom for me, but okay.

Somgbag: 

Somgbag: i-

Bottom: wait like 

Bottom: like seriously?

Arsonist: yes

Seren: Yes.

Somgbag: >:(

Bottom: the way both of you answered that

Pisti: its ok to be a bottom sinbad u dont have to be ashamed <3

Somgbag: pisti shut up

Pisti: no !!!!! <33

Somgbag: im the king of this country godsdamnit why does no one listen to me

Seren: Maybe because you act like you’re five?

Yam: or bc u cant keep ur hands to urself?

Js’faf: Or because you’re irresponsible and don’t do your own work?

Slut: Or because you look like an eggplant?

Goku: Or because you seem to flirt with everything that moves?

Masrur: Or because you casually sit in the laps of me, Serendine, Mystras, Hinahoho, etc

Arsonist: he sat in Armakan’s lap once

Bottom: IM SORRY WHAT

Bottom: YOURE JOKING RIGHT

Somgbag: … 

Bottom: WHAT THE FU C K

Seren: Oh, I remember that.

Seren: Armakan didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest.

Bottom: WHATTTT

Bottom: THEEEE

Seren: He looked mildly surprised for a millisecond, and then continued talking as if nothing had happened.

Bottom: FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

Bottom: WHAT !!!! THE !!!! FUCK !!!! WHAT THE !!!! FUCK !!!! WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!!!!!

Somgbag: yall literally did Not have to do that

Pisti: oh i think they did <3

Bottom: CAN WE GO BACK TO THE SINBAD SITTING IN ARMAKANS LAP SITUATION 

Bottom: WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

Bottom: WHY DID THIS HAPPEN

Somgbag: irrelevant 

Arsonist: i bet sinbad slept with him at some point

Somgbag: SHUT up mystras 

Js’faf: Well? Have you?

Somgbag:

Somgbag: …

Somgbag: …i am not obligated to answer that question 

Js’faf:

Somgbag: WHAAVWIEHEJJE WHATF TEH DUCKFWHHVAND WHAT THE FUCKFING FUCK FUCK

Goku: I retract my previous statement. Neither Kouen NOR Alibaba are the mega hoe. It’s Sinbad. Sinbad is the biggest whore around (insult).

Morgiana: ^

Somgbag: ATOP IT LEAVE ME AND MY SEX/LOVE/WHATEVER-THE-FUCK-I-HAVE-GOING-ON LIFE ALONE

Goku: No. <3

Arsonist: imagine not already knowing that sinbad is the biggest hoe in existence (affectionate)

Somgbag: fuck you die (affectionate)

Arsonist: omg babe

Arsonist: im touched

Spartos: Can someone please come murder me?

Spartos: I don’t have much to offer, but you can have all my belongings. Just please kill me now.

Yam: if i kill u can i have ur sketchbook

Spartos: Sure? Just murder me, please.

Pisti: question

Pisti: why in the fuck would u need his sketchbook

Yam:

Yam:

Yam:

Yam: he drew a rlly cute animal thing once n i wan make it Real

Spartos: 

Spartos: Okay, actually, no you can’t have my sketchbook because I’m Afraid of what you’re capable of. (ಠ﹏ಠ)

Yam: >:(

Yam: im not gonna murder u then >:(

Spartos: Wait, come back- (/๏ д ๏;;)/

Seren: I’ll do it as long as you help me with something first.

Arsonist: DONT DO IT ITS A TRAP

Somgbag: DONT SAY YES ITS NOT WORTH IT

Seren: Ignore them. They’re irrelevant. They don’t know what they’re talking about.

Spartos: 

Spartos: Mystras, you’re my brother and I love you. Sinbad… I… care (?) about you. But the calling of death is too great. I must ignore your warnings.

Somgbag: WHAT DO YOU MEAN “care (?)”

Spartos: I respect you, but I also wish you would fall in a hole and remain there. 

Js’faf: ^

Masrur: ^^

Haikyuu: ^^^

Yam: ^^^^

Pisti: i dont, i find it funny when he gets into dumb shit. sinbad stay here !!!!

Somgbag: 

Somgbag: >:(

Arsonist: id agree w mystras except im in love with the purple dumbass so that would make me sad if he was gone

Arsonist: *spartos

Arsonist: why the in the fuck did i just refer to spartos with my own name??? hello??

Slut: Y'all are merging

Seren: Well I’m in love with the fucker too, but that doesn’t mean I want to see him.

Goku: Y’all confuse me so much. Because on one hand you’re saying you love Sinbad, but y’all also aren’t dating or anything??

Somgbag: dont question our relationship it's complicated and weird and we dont  K n o w

Seren: ^

Arsonist: ^^

Goku: Y’all need to get y’allselves organized. 

Somgbag: why the fuck would i do that?????

Goku: Your country is going to go into economic fail.

Haikyuu: I hope so.

Somgbag: wh-

Somgbag: what did i ever do to you????

Haikyuu: I found out you fucked my cousin that is also kind of like a brother. I will never recover from this mental scarring and I’m going to make it your problem.

Somgbag: 

Somgbag: im not sure you ever recovered from your physical scarring either

Haikyuu:

Haikyuu:

Haikyuu:

Haikyuu: I don’t care if I’m about to start a war, I’m physically attacking you. Where Are You.

Somgbag shared his location!

Somgbag: have fun trying !!!

Haikyuu: Wrong Decision.

Js’faf: @Somgbag You’re a fucking idiot.

[2:50 PM]

Somgbag: i have severely underestimated the raw rage of a teenager

Js’faf: What did I say.

Somgbag: shut up jafar let me live my life

Js’faf: Considering you’re the reason I’m going to die at the age of 35, no. I will not.

Somgbag: meanie

Slut: I find it really wild that I used to respect you and even look up to you/idolize you (which I have now found to be a very Bad idea), but now after I’ve actually met you… You’re like… 

Js’faf: An idiot?

Slut: I wasn’t gonna say it but yeah

Somgbag: …you used to idolize me?

Slut: Only in the past

Goku: Alibaba saying “Only in the past” has the same energy as when Hakuryuu was chastised by a maid in the palace for openly telling his mother that he hates her. The maid was all like, “But you’re family!” and Hakuryuu’s immediate reply was, “Only by blood.”

Goku: I swear it looked as if someone had just burst out laughing in the middle of a funeral.

Arsonist: me about my dad when i kept denying that i wasnt straight, after he told me that even though i’m gay and we are a very christian country, that he and my mom will still accept me no matter what

Spartos: I remember that. It was really funny.

Arsonist: dont laugh at my misfortune

Somgbag: i thought you were pan?

Pisti: mystras is a pan?

Yam:

Arsonist:

Bottom:

Seren:

Js'faf:

Js'faf: Pisti, no.

Spartos: Pisti, he means pansexual.

Pisti:

Pisti: oh

Pisti: that was really dumb of me wasnt it

Yam: ya it kinda was

Pisti: thanks yam :,)

Yam: np

Arsonist: @Somgbag to answer your question, yes i am pansexual but my parents didnt know that at the time they just knew that i definitely liked both boys and girls. They still dont really understand it that well but they try to do there best to and they love and accept me regardless 

Goku: That’s really sweet.

Seren: *their

Arsonist:

Arsonist: do you mind

Seren: No. 💜

Chapter Text

[12:36 AM]

Kouha renamed the chat to ‘who the FUCK ate all my chICHKEN WINGS’

Kouha: we are having a family meeting

Kouha: right now

Kouha: i will NOT stand for this level of BETRAYAL

Kougyoku: Ok, then don’t stand.

Kougyoku: You can sit down.

Kougyoku: No one’s stopping you.

Kouha: 

Kouha: who do you think

Kouen: u didnt spell chicken right

Kouha: fuck off 

Kouen: no❤

Kouha: 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸

Kouen: ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง

Kougyoku: Mom, they’re having an emoticon war again. Come pick me up, I’m scared.

Kouen:（〜^∇^ )〜

Kougyoku: Kouen, please.

Kouen: (ᴗᵔᴥᵔ)

Kougyoku: Kouen.

Kouen: ᕕ(⌐■_■)ᕗ ♪♬

Kougyoku: WHERE ARE YOU EVEN GETTING THESE!?

Kouen: wouldnt you like to know fish girl

Hakuei: *grill

Kouen:

Kougyoku:

Hakuei: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kougyoku:

Kougyoku: You.

Kougyoku: You were the one who infected him.

Hakuei: as much as id love to take credit for that, it wasnt me

Hakuei: i got the habit from seisyun, and he’s mentioned that he and seishuu both use emoticons so if i had to guess id assume seishuu was the one who gave him the habit

Kouen: ^

Kouha: CAN WE GO BACK TO MY FUCKING CICKEN NUGGESTS

Kouen: why are you so bad at spelling tf

Kouen: *chicken

Kouen: *nuggets

Kouha: fuck

Kouha: you

Kouen: no ❤ thank ❤ you ❤

Hakuei: wait quick question. im having a conversation with seisyun right now. what are those folks that dress up like animals called? furbies??

Kouha: oh my god

Kougyoku: I legit almost just fell out of my seat.

Hakuren: i think theyre called fanalis?

Alibaba: ASHASHAAHSSBSHA

Hakuryuu: NO! THAT’S VERY WRONG!!!

Hakuren: oh it is??

Kouen: 

Kouen: theyre called furries

Hakuyuu: Why do you know that?

Kouen: @Ka Kobun has some interesting habits

Ka Kobun: I DO NOT!!!!

Kouha: we dont make fun of furries in this house!!!!!

Kouen: no but we make fun of ka kobun 

Ka Kobun: You’re making fun of me under false accusations.

Kouen: i am but making fun of you is fun

Ka Kobun: I hate you.

Kouen: thank you

Judar: no but actually how do you know what a furry is

Kouha: how do you know what a furry is

Judar: al thamen

Kougyoku: Wh-

Kougyoku: A what now?

Judar: you heard me. some al thamen members are furries

Kouha: oh my god

Hakuryuu: What I want to know is how Hakuyuu knows what a furry is.

Hakuryuu: Yeah. 

Hakuryuu: 😐

Hakuyuu: I’m the oldest one. I don’t know what you expect from me. I know things. 

Hakuren: thats so ominous wtf???

Hakuyuu: :)

Kougyoku: Anyone else feel slightly threatened by that smiley?

Kouha: yes

Hakuren: yes

Alibaba: I guess?

Hakuryuu: Yes.

Ka Kobun: My intense anxiety makes me too numb from overload to feel much. 🙃

Judar: idk tbh

Kouen: eh kinda

Hakuei: no lol 😂 

Kouha: im convinced hakuei isnt afraid of anything at this point

Hakuei: tbh after i discovered Hakuyuu was still afraid of the dark he wasnt scary to me anymore

Hakuyuu: Well fuck you too.

Hakuei: lol

Hakuryuu: I hate this family.

Kouen: (✿╹◡╹)

Hakuryuu: Stop that.

Kouen: ( ＾◡＾)っ

Hakuryuu: I hate you so much.

Kouen: (ღゝ◡╹)ノ

Hakuryuu: Die.

Kouen: (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Kougyoku: I DON’T LIKE THAT!

[9:32 AM]

Kougyoku: Oh my fucking gOD. I saw a really cute girl holding a cute white kitten, so I walked up to her and asked if I could pet it, but it was actually a white bowl of white rice. So i'm going to go jump off a cliff now.

Hakuren: full offense but fuck you actually bc this just made me laugh out loud in the middle of a world conference im gonna die of embarrassment 

Kougyoku: Well at least i'm not the only one dying inside right now.

Hakuren: THERES A VERY BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE GIRL YOU THOUGHT WAS CUTE AND THE ENTIRE COLLECTION OF WORLD LEADERS I WAS LITERALLY KICKED OUT OF THE MEETING

Koumei: had to explain why laughed 2

Judar: oh that means the people at the meeting know too doesnt it??

Kouha: sorry gyoku looks like youve been compromised 

Kougyoku:

Kougyoku: I’m gonna stab all of you, and then myself.

Alibaba: Don’t do that

Kougyoku: Too late.

Alibaba: 

Ka Kobun: What happened here exactly?

Ka Kobun: 

Alibaba: I SAID NOT TO

Kougyoku: No.

Hakuryuu: ffu cK yog

Hakuryuu: otch

Hakuren: yog

Kougyoku: yog

Kouha: yog

Judar: yog

Koumei: yog

Alibaba: yog

Hakuyuu: yog

Hakuei: yog

Kouen: yog

Kougyoku: We’re waiting.

Ka Kobun: Fine.

Ka Kobun: yog

Hakuryuu: guch akak ofypu

Hakuryuu: sjut i thonkm duing

Kouha: @Hakuyuu @Kouen @Koumei @Hakuei arent yall supposed to be in a meeting? Why yall responding

Hakuei: ^-^

Alibaba: What about Hakuren..?

Judar: he got kicked out of the meeting can you not read

Alibaba: I know where ur secret peach stash is dont you try me

Judar: WHAT HOW

Alibaba: It’s… not… exactly… that… well hidden…

Hakuren: why did u need so many “...”

Alibaba: Because

Hakuren: not good enough of a reason. execution 

Alibaba: Jokes on you 

Hakuren:

Alibaba:

Hakuren: is that it or

Alibaba: Yeah

Hakuren: ok

Alibaba:

Hakuren:

Alibaba:

Hakuren:

Alibaba:

Hakuren:

Alibaba:

Hakuren:

Kougyoku: Oh my fucking god, would yall SHUT UP!?

Alibaba: We weren’t even saying anything…

Hakuren: :(

Kouha: are we all just gonna ignore the fact that hakuryuu is literally dying

Kougyoku: Yes.

Hakuyuu: He’s fine.

Kouha: HES DYING

Hakuyuu: Yeah? And?

Hakuyuu: He’s fine.

Kougyoku: You’re fucking crazy.

Hakuyuu: Yeah, lol.

Hakuren: HAKUYUU WHATS WRONG WITH YOU OUR BROTHER JUST GOT STABBED

Hakuyuu: Yeah, I know.

Hakuren: i get that you are desensitized bc of being born right into a war as the first sibling but  p l e a s e

Hakuyuu: He’s fine, isn’t he? He’ll live.

Hakuren: THAT DOESNT MEAN IT DIDNT HURT SBSVBRHBR HAVE SOME COMPASSION 

Hakuyuu: Okay...

[11:09 PM]

Hakuryuu: First of all, fuck you guys.