Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again
-See You Again by Khalid

There was nothing particular with the white two-storey house. No, it was quite an ordinary night with stars high above and quiet streets illuminated by yellow street lamps. The extraordinary thing was the girl that lay asleep in the room behind the second story window. She tossed and turned in her sleep, twisted her bedsheets as she moved around. A bone piercing scream penetrated the night as her eyes flew open, glowing golden for a second as she drew a shuddering breath. She opened and closed her eyes several times as if she could chase the lingering gold and nightmares away.

It took several minutes before she could catch her breath and she sat up in bed just when the door to the room opened. Lisbeth, her younger sister, put her blonde head through the gap. Some people, like Michelangelo, see angels in every block of marble and see it as their duty to free them. Lisbeth, on the other hand, saw it as her duty to look after her older sister, even if she was 3 years younger than Emblyn. Lisbeths worried green eyes met Emblyns blue ones.

“Are you okay? I heard you scream. Was it another nightmare?”

Emblyn shook her messy strawberry blonde hair out of her face, she could feel her eyelids beginning to drop but she was not ready for sleep to claim her again just yet.

“I'm fine. Yeah it was a nightmare, but it was different this time. I woke up in a forest…”

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The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was a clear blue sky surrounded by trees. She blinked uncertainly a few times before sitting up, finding herself in a small clearing in a forest. The trees and ground were covered in green and she could hear birds singing. It had to be a summer day because she could feel the heat in the air.
She stood up on unsteady legs and took a few steps towards the edge of the clearing. There was a small path between the trees that she followed trying to find some kind of buildings or life.

After about a mile she could see the end of the forest. When she stepped out of it sunlight immediately hit her face and she squinted up ahead. A huge castle, unlike anything Emblyn had ever seen before, rose high above the ground. The walls were thick and really tall so all she could see was some towers with a flag at the top and the gate, surrounded by guards.

She felt really small standing before the castle. Like she didn’t matter. She took a deep breath and walked towards the gate but when she tried to walk into the castle she was stopped by the guards.

“Who are you and what is your business in Camelot?” asked the dark-haired guard. If it was possible Emblyn felt even smaller and she wanted to run. But she held her ground.

“Is this Camelot? I’m just…” she trailed off. A raven-haired boy was headed towards them, a determined look at his face. He looked kind of strange, Emblyn thought, and somehow out of place. He had a sort of glow around him that she couldn’t explain but when she saw him she felt a sort of warmth spreading from her chest. She relaxed. Everything was going to be okay.

No, she became tense again. She had no idea where she was or why she was there. It was not alright.

“Emblyn! There you are! I was looking for you, come with me” the gangly man shouted. Emblyn waited until he got closer and then she answered warily.

“What? Who are you? Do I know you?” He smiled and it lit up his whole face. Something about him made her want to trust him.

“Yes you do. Don’t you remember me? I’m Merlin!” Something floated up in her mind but it was forgotten long before she could grasp it.

“ I don’t know. I recognise that name but I don’t recognize you.”

Merlin gave her a kind smile and took her hand. "Come with me. Don't be scared, I will help you remember." He led her back over the field and into the forest again, not stopping until they reached the clearing where Emblyn woke up earlier. After checking that there wasn't anyone else close by, Merlin stepped into the middle of the clearing and looked up at the sky. "Don't be scared." He said "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!" His call echoed through the forest as if it were a cave and then everything went quiet.

Emblyn had almost given up when she heard the flapping of what sounded like giant wings in the distance.

The first thing she saw of the dragon was a glimpse of its eyes. Terrifying and golden, yet ancient and almost kind. Emblyn did her best not to flinch when it landed. Then it spoke.

“What makes you call me this time, young warlock?”

Strangely enough, the gigantic dragon that could evidently talk, was not the weirdest thing that had happened that day.

Merlin, who was leaning against a tree in the dragon's shadow, totally at ease, answered calmly.

“This is Emblyn, I know who she is but she doesn't remember me. I need you to help me make her remember.”

The wise golden eyes rested on Emblyn for a moment. In his gaze was something she couldn’t identify, but it made her want to squirm. Finally, he answered.

“Of course I'll help her remember who she is. She is important to you Merlin and I wouldn't want to hinder you from fulfilling your destiny.” The great dragon closed his eyes as if calling upon a power within and took a deep breath.

But before he could open his eyes again a scream broke the silence. "A dragon! There's a dragon in the forest!" Emblyn pressed her hand to her mouth to stop herself from screaming. Merlin took her hand and pulled her behind a tree just as three men emerged from the other side of the clearing. They had swords in their belts and one of them had a crossbow slung over his shoulder. The man with the crossbow took an arrow from his quiver and aimed at the dragon's chest. "Leave us alone you vile creature! A monster like you has no place in Camelot."

Kilgharra roared at the men but they seemed unmoved by the loud noise. Emblyn heard the flicker of the bowstring when the arrow was released. She threw herself forward instinctively, her eyes golden, and the arrow fell to the ground, two centimeters before the dragon's chest. She dove back behind the tree with her hand to her mouth but it was too late. They had already seen her. The men’s attention left the dragon and they began to head towards the tree that hid Merlin and Emblyn. Merlin leaned forward to whisper something in Emblyns ear but before the sound could leave his lips the men grabbed them and they were brought out from their hiding spot.

Emblyn couldn’t help but to hope that they really hadn’t seen her eyes and that the men were just rescuing them from the dragon. Stranger things had already happened that day. But the leader of the men spoke up.

"Sorcerers in Camelot! Arthur is going to pay us well for this!”

Yep, felt about right considering her bad luck this far. The man nodded towards the others.

“Bind them and make sure they can’t escape. We have a reward to retrieve.”

At least the day couldn’t get any worse. They still had their magic. Merlin raised his free hand and aimed it at their captors. His eyes turned gold but nothing happened. He tried again and again. After every time he breathed heavier and panic crept slowly into his eyes. He was without the weapon he always could rely on and he looked like the very foundation that he stood on had been removed from under his feet. Emblyn could feel it too. Like a hollow inside of her that she never knew she would miss until now. The leader just laughed.

“You thought it would be that easy huh? You won’t be able to use magic this close to us.”
The men proceeded to drag them to the castle that looked, if it was really possible, larger and more intimidating now. But instead of heading towards the gate they entered the castle through a backdoor. Emblyn realised that it was because the captors wanted to avoid being seen by the guards and townspeople. They made a final turn and were finally able to see the doors to the throne room. Surprisingly, there were no guards outside the doors like there usually were. Maybe she was wrong before. Maybe this day could get worse.

The leader directed them through the doors and the men holding them threw them carelessly on the hard and cold stone floor. When Emblyn looked up she was met with two clear blue eyes. The eyes belonged to Arthur, the king of Camelot. Arthur's eyes widened with shock when he saw the two persons that had just been thrown on the floor in front of his feet.

"Merlin! What are you doing? And who is this girl?" He took a deep breath to steady himself as Emblyn and Merlin got up from the floor.

Merlin fumbled for words "Listen I can explain. We were…" He didn't have time to finish the sentence before Emblyn interrupted him.

"It's my fault. We were out in the forest when these men scared us and I tried to fend them off using magic. Merlin had nothing to do with it."

Arthur's eyes widened. Emlyn thought that if she looked closely she could also see a glimt of relief, but it was gone before she could confirm it. Instead his gaze hardened.

“So you admit to using magic in Camelot? Even though you know that it’s banned?”

Deep inside her she knew that she was condemning herself but she was desperate. They could not hurt Merlin. Not for her mistake. So she did the only thing she could.
“Yes! Please just don’t hurt Merlin. He had nothing to do with it. I don’t think he even knew that I had magic.”

Merlin’s head snapped up and he caught her eyes with his own impossible soft, hurt and angry gaze. Before he could say anything Arthur answered her calmly.

“I won't hurt Merlin, I believe you.” Relief flooded her whole body and she relaxed. “But you know what I have to do. Using magic inside Camelot's borders is banned and, even though you used it to defend yourself it's still a crime. I hereby sentence you to death. You shall be executed at dawn. “

The heavy words left Arthur's mouth and sank slowly to the floor. They left a thick silence in its wake. Emblyn had known what would happen when she confessed but hearing the sentence made it more real. She would die. She would never regain her memories and die without knowing who she was. Would someone miss her? Did she have any relatives that would mourn her? Merlin probably would, but she hadn’t had time to figure out why.

She started to tremble.

“Please! My lord please, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Her voice felt small in the big throne room and the words fell as soon as they left her lips.

Merlin took a step closer to her and she could hear the fear in his voice as he spoke. "She's telling the truth. It was self defense. She got scared by the men. Please, she means no harm."

Arthur sighed deeply and Emblyn caught something that looked like regret in his sapphire eyes. "I'm sorry Merlin, I can't. You know that. She broke the law and she has to pay for it. Guards! Take her to the dungeons."

Two guards clad in armour bearing the Camelot crest stepped forward and grabbed Emblyn by the arms. They led her out the door and she heard Merlin's desperate attempts to convince Arthur that she was innocent. She felt tears start rolling down her cheeks as they descended the stairs towards the dungeons and their voices disappeared.

She was thrown in a small cell and she curled up in a corner when the lattice door swung shut and the guards left to report back to Arthur. The silence was heavy in the little room and she closed her eyes and drew her knees up to her chest. Everything was lost, she was going to die. That was the only thing that she knew for sure, it couldn't get worse now.

Suddenly there were steps outside the cell and she scrambled backwards without looking to get away from the guards. She was surprised, however, when there was a soft female voice coming from outside the door. "Emblyn…"

She looked up and was met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes. She recognized them but she couldn't put a name on the woman standing before her. The woman spoke again. "I don't know if you remember me, my name is Gwen, Queen Guinevere. Merlin came to me as soon as he was released. He begged me to change Arthur's mind, he couldn't bear to lose you. I told him I would do my best because I can't bear that either. I don't know if you remember, but we used to be best friends and to lose a friend like you would crush my heart."

Emblyn shook her head, she didn't remember. But deep inside was a little voice that kept trying to tell her something. Something she had a feeling that she should have known. Suddenly fear came over her. "Wh-who am I? Why can't I remember this? What's happened to me?"

Gwen extended a reassuring hand through the bars. "Emblyn, listen to me. We will fix this. I won't let you die." Emblyn stood up and walked over to the bars. She took the hand and felt a warmth spread into her own.

She smiled at the queen, "Thank you, your highness. I shall never forget this."

The warmth from her hand continued to spread through her body and suddenly the fog in her head lifted a little. There was a memory. She was standing by the training grounds watching Arthur, Gwaine, Leon, Lancelot, Percival and Elyan as they fought. Suddenly a hand found hers and she looked to her side only to be met with a pair of deep blue eyes and a goofy smile belonging to Merlin. She smiled too and they laughed as Gwaine fell to the ground and mock-sulkingly stepped away from the group.

Then the memory disappeared and she was faced with Gwen again. "I-i think I just remembered something." She said uncertainly.

Gwen gave her a questioning look, "What do you mean?"

"The Knights, they were…" she shook her head to try and clear it, "They were out training with Arthur and Merlin and I stood by the side and watched them." She hesitated "Gwaine…" she said quietly.

Gwen looked even more confused, "What are you talking about?"

Emblyn gave her a strange look that she couldn't decipher, "Can I talk to the Knights?"

Gwen looked totally puzzled now. “I guess I could try and find them but they might be out on a mission." "Thank you Gwen, that means a lot."

Gwen walked away through the dungeon as Emblyn sat back down again. Her hand was still warm from where Gwen had gripped it and the fog clouding her head seemed a little thinner. If Gwen brought back one memory, then maybe the Knights could give her something more.

She breathed heavily as steps echoed through the corridor again. This time, it was Merlin who appeared around the corner. Gwaine trailed behind smiling widely when he caught sight of her. A guard opened the door so that they could enter her cell and locked it behind them.

Emblyn rushed forward and threw her arms around him, “Gwaine! I've missed you!”

“And I you sweetheart. I see you've gotten yourself into a pickle.” She giggled, even though she didn't remember all of him, the familiar sound of his voice comforted her.

“I am really glad you came.” She tried to smile but the smile never reached her eyes. Merlin smiled too and it was the same goofy smile he always wore but Emblyn could feel the seriousness of it.

“We have to get you out of here.” he said “I think Gwen's gone to talk to Arthur.”

Gwaine nodded “Yes but it is not certain that she will succeed and time is of the essence, dawn is just a few hours away.”

Merlin put his arms around Emblyn. “We have to go.” he said “I promise that we will do everything we can. I can't bear to lose you.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead as the guard came back and opened the door. “The King is looking for you.” the guard nodded at Merlin. Gwaine snorted in a failed attempt to hide his laughter and Merlin could almost hear the faint echo of his King's voice. The men exited the cell and Merlin raised his hand as if to say goodbye but changed his mind halfway and lowered it again. They would not, could not say goodbye yet.

Gwaine's faint whisper echoed in the corridor as they walked away and Emblyn knew the words were not for her to hear. “Arthur is a stubborn man, chances are slim that he will change his mind.”

Merlin nodded gravely “I know but we have to try.” They disappeared from view and she sat down on the floor and waited.

The guards returned after what felt like eternity and brought her out from the cell. They made their way out of the castle to the big town square. In the middle of the square, surrounded by a whispering crowd stood the stake. The guards led her to the stake and tied her up. The executioner lit a torch and brought it to the base of the stake.
The fire spread like vines, closer and closer, higher and higher.

She couldn't move, she couldn't escape, she was going to die. Emblyn was certain that the panic could be seen in her eyes and tears fell down her cheeks sizzling in the face of the heat of the fire. She looked at the crowd and opened her mouth. She screamed and in the scream was the pain, sorrow, anger and fear that burned on her inside. The fire inside her spread from the base of the stake and out into the crowd. It made its way past them without hurting them, but nearby hay bales and wooden structures burst into flames at its touch. She screamed and screamed and her eyes wandered over the crowd until she met Merlin's gaze.

The scream subsided as he smiled at her and whispered something. A quiet breeze brought his words to her ears and a smile formed on her lips too. The fires around them went out and small raindrops began to fall. Just as Arthur ordered the guards to continue with the execution, the calm breeze became a storm. It tore at Emblyn's clothes and hair where she stood, stirred up leaves and sand and threw the rain in her face. Then everything became quiet.

____________________________

After she finished explaining Lisbeth only looked at her with wide eyes.

“That’s a pretty vivid dream.”

“I know.” Emblyn answered after a while “And that magic. I didn't even know that kind of magic existed anymore. Do you think I have it? It's just so strange. I did recognize the young man though. I feel like I've met him before but I don't know when nor where I would have met a young man named Merlin.”

Even when she said it outloud it didn’t sound very convincing and the name burned in her mind.

“I don't know either. It's a very weird dream anyway. Shall we go and have some breakfast? It's seven o'clock and the train leaves at eleven you know.”

Emblyn nodded. “Yeah, good idea.” She was still quite shaken so if Lisbeth noted that her voice was trembling, she didn’t say anything.

Chapter Text

Now the day bleeds

Into nightfall

And you're not here

To get me through it all

I let my guard down

And then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

-Someone you loved by Lewis Capaldi

Merlin hadn't had that nightmare in almost a thousand years but he could still remember it like it was yesterday. How he had found her alone and lost by the gates of Camelot. How he knew who she was and the pain when he realized that she didn’t. How he had tried to help her but it ended with him losing her. The worst part of the nightmare was that her scream still echoed in his mind. He couldn’t understand what had happened or where she had gone. During his long years after Arthurs passing he had searched through the world for an answer. He had gone to the druids, read sacred books in libraries all over the world, talked to shamans, warriors, mages and physicians. No one seems to have seen her since that horrible day. No one knew what could have happened.

Still he searched, still he wandered the world alone with no trace of Emblyn. Why after all these years did he start dreaming of her again? Could this mean that she was out there somewhere and needed his help? He shook his head.

Merlin had learnt many years ago, centuries ago, that it was better not to hope because the world always disappointed him. It was almost impossible to count all the times when he had thought that he found them. A glimpse of messy blonde hair in a crowd, the voice of a woman long lost or the laugh of someone he had loved. Only for his hope to fall short when they turned out to be someone else. No, it was best not to hope. Why would this time be any different?

__________________________

Emblyn sat with her friends in a comfortable compartment on the Hogwarts express. Adalyn talked happily and loudly to Charlie while Charlie leaned against the window, a hand in her long, black and curly hair. Emblyn watched the landscape pass outside the window to the rhythmic thumping of the train.

Suddenly Adalyn's head snapped up and she exclaimed “Have you heard?”

Charlie and Emblyn shook their heads.

Adalyn practically vibrated with excitement. “There's a new student coming to Hogwarts. Not a first year, he's starting in our year. He's got to be an exchange student, right? I think his name was Morgan.”

Emblyn remembered distantly that she had heard someone talk about him at the station. “Yeah, probably. He's gonna get sorted with the other first-years right? I hope he's in our house.”

Charlie looked at Emblyn with her heavy gaze. Not a hair lay wrong on her head and her clothes were, as always, perfectly ironed. “Yeah, so do I. That would be awesome.”

Three hours later the group sat, dressed in their Hogwarts robes, at the far end of the Ravenclaw table. Closest to the soon to be over sorting ceremony. It was just a few trembling first years left and the boy named Morgan. He stood at the back half in the shadows and they had not been able to get a good look at him, even when they had tried to stretch their necks to the brink of their length.

They waited in silence until McGonagall had called all the names of the soon to be first years. “Morgan Ambrosius!” The name echoed through the now almost silent great hall.

__________________________

Merlin sat on the edge of the bed and buried his face in his hands. He closed his eyes and rubbed them until they were full of colorful dots. The energy had run out hundreds of years ago but there was nothing he could do then so what could he do now? He went out into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Then he went out on the terrace. There he sat on the edge and looked out over the lake.

The lake of Avalon, the only thing that was still the same in the world. Fog veils played over its surface and the first rays of the sun sought their way over the treetops. It looked like it was going to be a nice day.

He thought about the dream again. It was exactly what had happened except one thing. He remembered it vividly, him and Gwaine leaving the dungeons to try and persuade Arthur to let Emblyn go. When they came close to Arthur's chambers, voices could be heard from inside. Gwen was already there. Through the gap in the door, they could see her walking over to Arthur who was sitting behind his desk.

"You can't let Emblyn die." She said "She hasn't done anything wrong."

Arthur looked down at his papers. "I had no choice. It was either her or Merlin and I couldn't."

Gwen shook her head, "But why not let both of them… Oh!"

From their position, none of them saw the look that passed between the king and the queen nor the colour that spread on Arthur's cheeks.

Gwen smiled kindly, "It's okay." She leaned forward and kissed him and Merlin and Gwaine left their spot by the door knowing these words were not for them to hear, "Your secret is safe with me."

When he had drunk his tea, he put down his cup and went down to the edge of the lake.

He touched the water with his fingers and whispered gently, "W¯ægholm, onýwan me Myne, trymman me Tîfrung toward ofer dæghwîl." A small bubble broke the surface, and then another and another. Soon the water looked like it was boiling but Merlin did not move his hand and as suddenly as they came the bubbles disappeared. But instead of showing his reflection, Merlin saw a young girl in the water. She lay in her bed asleep, a smile playing over her lips.

A lock of her strawberry blonde hair was twisted around her left index finger as she always did when she had difficulty sleeping. Merlin smiled to himself as he remembered how he had found Emblyns hair such a mystery. As a child he hadn't understood how her hair could be almost golden when his and their mother's were raven black. Suddenly he felt something stir inside him. He couldn't put his finger on what it was until a thread of magic jerked through his arm and sent a golden glow into the water. He watched in amazement as the golden thread created a circle and the water began to sparkle. The picture of the little girl was long gone and in its place was a picture of a modern room.

Merlin could see someone sitting on the bed, someone with strawberry blonde hair, someone he thought he would never see again. He hesitated as the person stood up and walked away. The picture changed and he could now see a wardrobe and on the floor was a wooden trunk. He caught a glimpse of the Hogwarts crest before the person in the room turned his way, smiled and waved. The blue eyes sparkled with hope and happiness and it felt to Merlin like he could finally breathe again.

The knot in his chest loosened considerably as he stumbled away from the lake, but when his hand left the surface of the water, the picture vanished. For Merlin, however, this did not matter at all. Emblyn was alive and he knew where she was. He just needed a way to get there.

After a month full of anxiety, waiting, writing letters, shopping in the diagon alley and worrying he was finally ready for the train that left in a couple of hours. He was going to attend Hogwarts as an exchange student to be able to get to know Emblyn again. Deep inside the only thing he wanted to do was take Emblyn when she arrived at the train station but it had been over a thousand years. He didn’t know, couldn’t know, if she was still the same person. Or if she remembered him or not.

A million thoughts hadn’t stopped swirling around his head since that day at the shore of the lake. Would she recognize him? Why would she come back now after all these years? What did this mean for his destiny and Arthur?

The last one he hadn’t really dared to think about. Because if he did, there was no going back. Merlin did not think that he could go through losing him again. At least that was what it felt like to have hope again after all this time just to be forced to give it up later.

But maybe it was already too late. Something had shifted inside of him. Something that had been asleep for a long, long time and Merlin felt like he was alive for the first time since the death of his king and his sister. Yes, something was about to happen but, for once in his life, he did not want to miss a single second of it.

_________________________

When Emblyn first heard the name that McGonagall shouted she went completely still. It was another piece to the puzzle that had started with the dream. She could feel it in her bones, and somehow in her magic. The name felt wrong. But how a name felt wrong on a person she had never seen before was more than she could understand.

Adalyn leaned over the table. “He has got the same last name as you, Emblyn.” she said with a low voice.

At that statement Emblyns magic reared up in tumult. Weird, it had never done that before. She tried to calm herself as she whispered back. “It’s probably a coincidence.”

In some way her magic was not convinced.

The boy strode through the silent hall and to the stool in front of McGonagall. He had ravenblack, messy hair on top of a large ears and sharp cheekbones. While he walked Emblyn could see a pair of stormy turquoise eyes that seemed to hungrily take everything in as if it was his first deep breath after almost drowning.

He sat down on the stool and McGonagall placed the hat on head. Everything was quiet, too quiet. Minutes passed but nothing happened. Emblyn didn’t really care because it gave her time to really look at the strange boy. All of him was remarkable but the most remarkable thing about him was his eyes. It was the first thing she had noticed and now she couldn’t tear her gaze away. She felt like she had seen them before but she could not figure out where. But if she had seen them before she definitely would remember.

His eyes were not the kind you forget. The boy, or almost man she supposed, seemed somehow out of place among the other students. Like he did not belong on this earth, in this time. But he also felt like the most natural presence in the world. He had a calming effect on her magic.

After what seemed like an eternity but was most likely a couple of minutes the hat spoke again and effectively cut off her spiraling thoughts. “HUFFLEPUFF!” Morgan took off the hat and walked down to the Hufflepuff table.

Then the noise returned, like someone holding their breath and then suddenly letting the air out.

_________________________

Merlin entered the Great hall together with the firstyears. He felt his heart beat harder and harder in his chest. What if he was wrong? What if Emblyn wasn't there? His worries subsided however when they stopped in front of the teacher’s table.

He looked at the students surrounding them and there, in the middle of the sea of black and blue robes, he saw the strawberry blonde hair. It could not be mistaken who it was and he breathed a sigh of relief. But said relief didn't last long when Merlin realized that he was going to be sorted and he wasn't necessarily going to be in the same house as her. He waited patiently as the other students were sorted and applauded politely when they descended to their tables. Then Professor McGonagall called his name and the room fell silent. He could hear the students whispering as he ascended the steps to the little stool. He sat down and McGonagall placed the Sorting hat on his head. The hat seemed stunned and didn't say anything for a while.

Then it cleared its invisible throat and spoke. “Welcome to Hogwarts Merlin. It’s an honour to sort such a powerful wizard that I have heard so many great things about.” It chuckled dryly. “Hogwarts Merlin? Aren't you the wisest wizard in history? Is there really anything Hogwarts can teach you that you don't already know?”

Merlin's eyes swept over the great hall. The floating candles illuminated the four tables full of excited pupils. They sat merrily under the enchanted roof and the ceiling that showed a sky full of stars. The moon hovered among them too.

It was one of the most beautiful things Merlin had seen and he had seen many things. He had seen empires rise and fall. Mountains that rose high above the clouds surrounded by the most stunning of sunsets. Stars that reflected in a shallow lake. Gardens full of colourful and exotic flowers. But during his life he had seen many horrible things too. Towns all wiped out by the black death. Bloody wars with no winners, only relatives mourning. The chaos in Hiroshima after the bomb. People being hunted for being born the way they were. He had tried to help, but it had never been enough. Yes, he had seen the best and the worst in mankind. The beautiful and the horrid. Now he had a second chance after all this time.

So he told the hat: “I am exactly where I am supposed to be.” The hat seemed to consider that. He continued. “And maybe I can learn some things, maybe not. But that is not why I am here.”

Merlin searched for the strawberry blonde hair and he sighted when he saw her.

The hat followed his line of sight and suddenly it talked again. “Oh, I see. History repeats itself. The line becomes full circle. This is certainly going to be a special and exciting year.”

He couldn’t do anything but agree. “Okay, let’s get the year started. I was ordered to sort you into a house so that’s what I am going to do. You possess qualities from all the houses. You are wise, cunning, brave and kind. You always try to help. But the most remarkable thing about you is that you continued through all these years and never gave up. That you never knew when or if they were going to come back. And still you waited. Still you hoped. This shows great loyalty and friendship. Qualities both Godric and Helga valued very highly. You have helped many but it has always been from the shadows. Never in the light. Well, you are very wise but that developed by doing it wrong first and learning from your mistakes during the centuries. It is not a quality you were born with.”

Merlin chuckled lightly at that. No, he supposed not if all the times he had been almost caught and executed was something to consider. “So there is only one place you truly belong.”

He thought he knew the answer before the hat announced it.

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

The hall erupted in cheers and he stood up and walked over to the Hufflepuff table. The hat was right about one thing, this year was certainly going to be something out of the ordinary.

Merlin found his way along the Hufflepuff table and stopped by the far end. The seventh years looked nervously at him but didn't make an effort to give him some space on the bench. He waited a few more seconds before moving to the other side, quickly finding an open spot between a tawny haired boy and a girl that looked suspiciously like Gwen. The girl smiled at him and he met her doe brown eyes. It was like a jab to his heart seeing that face again. It was framed by the same soft curls as Gwen's and pulled out a painful memory from deep inside him.

He remembered it vividly, her lying in bed, old and weak, dying. She held his hand and he stroked a pale brown lock of hair from her face, putting it behind her ear. She wasn't scared that night, but then again she had always been an unusually brave woman.

She smiled at him and spoke, her voice no more than a whisper. "You are the bravest man I ever met and am lucky to have had you as my friend. Arthur was lucky to have you too. I know that you loved him and I want you to know that he loved you too. He would never have made it as far as he did without you, in more ways than you know. Take care of yourself now Merlin and take care of Camelot for me, take care of the Knights and the kings and queens to come."

He kissed her forehead and she squeezed his hand carefully. It wasn't long before she took her last breath and tears streamed down his cheeks as he closed her eyes leaving her seemingly asleep to go and inform the court of her passing. Merlin felt a tear escape his eye as the girl in front of him spoke and brought him back to reality.

"Are you alright? You have been staring at me for a while now."

He brushed away the tears and nodded, "Sorry, you just reminded me of someone."

She smiled again "I'm Sam and that…" she pointed to the boy on the other side of him "is Hugo. We've been friends since first year. Welcome to Hufflepuff!"

Merlin smiled too, the first genuine smile in a long time. "I'm Mer- Morgan. Morgan Ambrosius, but I guess you already knew that since Professor McGonagall said it before."

She nodded "It doesn't matter, it's always nice to be properly introduced."

Merlin nodded and smiled too. His eyes wandered over to the Ravenclaw table and landed on Emblyn. She was speaking and laughing with her friends and Merlin knew that whether or not she remembered him, he would do his best to get her back.

Chapter Text

When I think I'm ready to move on

I find another trace of you

A corner of my mind you still can haunt

I'm scared deep down that might be what I want

To keep a little piece of you

Convince myself that you're not really gone

But it hits me then

I don't quite remember

How your skin felt on my skin

I don't quite remember

All the little angles of your smile

It's been awhile

Thought that I'd always remember

But I don't quite remember

- I don’t quite remember by Beth Crowley

When Emblyn woke up the next morning, she still had the weird feeling in her gut. She didn't know what it meant but figured that she would find the answer eventually. For now, she had lessons to attend and school work to do. She got dressed and followed her friends down to breakfast. 

After a lovely breakfast that consisted mostly of eggs, bacon and of course tea, they went to their first lesson. According to their new schedule it was charms with the Hufflepuffs. 

Emblyn liked having lessons with the Hufflepuffs. They were nice and did not participate in the ridiculous feud between Gryffindors and Slytherins. It was simply exhausting. Plus, they didn’t get any schoolwork done when the other two houses were present. Even if she enjoyed the promised breaks once in a while, she wasn’t a Ravenclaw without reason.

Adalyn, Emblyn and Charlie entered the classroom together with the other Ravenclaws and found their usual seats, up front and to the left. Adalyn paired up with Charlie which left Emblyn by herself to Charlie's right. 

The Hufflepuffs started filing in and Morgan was the last to enter. The only seat left was the one next to Emblyn so he carefully sat down next to her. Her magic did that strange thing it had done yesterday. She still did not know what it was but she felt safe and warm. Like her magic had been left in a raging storm and Morgan was the only cliff that it could hold on to. 

After he sat down Morgan turned to her. He looked at her, studied her with wonder in his eyes. She wondered what she had done to deserve to be looked at like she was the only thing that mattered in the world. Like she was special and very dear to him. He looked away and when his eyes returned to her face nothing could be seen in his eyes except a polite mild interest in his new partner in charms. Emblyn wondered if she just had imagined things because no one that young was so good at hiding their emotions. You would have had years and years of practice. 

He certainly was a mystery. But she would do her best to discover what made her so drawn to him.

“Hi, my name is Morgan. What’s yours?”

“I’m Emblyn. Nice to meet you and welcome to Hogwarts.”

“Thank you.”

Morgan looked like he really meant it. 

The door behind them squeaked and Professor McGonagall entered the classroom. She walked quickly up to her desk in front of them before she spoke. “Good morning class!”

She was immediately answered by the class chorusing “Good morning Professor McGonagall!” 

“Today we will practice turning a teacup into a rabbit. The incantation and wand movement is as follows: Lapifors!” She waved her wand and 25 tea cups made their way through the classroom, landing on their tables one by one. 

Everyone started with the task and Emblyn fell quiet in focus. She was in the top of her year so it didn't take long for her to succeed with the spell. Professor McGonagall walked around the classroom watching the students and she stopped by Emblyns desk giving her one of her rare smiles. 

“Well done Miss Ambrosius, 10 points to Ravenclaw. How are you doing Mr Ambrosius?” 

Morgan smiled at her “Not too well I'm afraid. I have always found Transfiguration particularly difficult. Especially between animate and inanimate objects.” McGonagall nodded “Well I'm sure Miss Ambrosius could give you a helping hand. She is the best in her year.” 

She continued her way around the classroom and Morgan looked at Emblyn. “You're the best in the year?” 

Emblyn nodded with a smile “Yeah, I am. I'm in the top three of every subject. I have the highest grades in school in Transfiguration, Defence against the dark arts and Charms, but Charlie beat me in History of magic and potions, and Adalyn is the best in Muggle studies and Astronomy. You know, I'm the head girl too.” 

Morgan's eyes widened but he could only utter a quiet “Oh.” 

Emblyn looked down at her desk, carefully petting the sleeping bunny when she continued speaking “But of course none of this really matters. Yes, I'm proud of my grades but that's not what's important to me. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was bragging, I didn't mean to. The thing is, people usually make fun of me for this. There's this gang of boys that always call me a busybody and an insufferable know-it-all. They have even gone so far as to attack me and I took it to the Headmaster. They have been punished but that doesn't make any difference, they still bully me. You know, I feel lucky to have Charlie and Adalyn, they help me alot actually.” 

Morgan's eyes went even wider as he looked at her. The Emblyn he knew was a strong young woman that would never let someone pick on her. To hear her like this and feel her letting her walls down was weird. 

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Emblyn shook her head and smiled bitterly “Don't be, I shouldn't have taken it all out on you anyway. I'm always so stupid.” 

Morgan carefully reached out and took her shaking hand. “It's okay, you're not stupid. It's tough sometimes and if it makes you feel better to talk about it I will always be there for you. You seem kind and smart and I would be more than happy to be your friend too. If you want me to.” 

Emblyn looked up again. “You want to be my friend?” 

Morgan nodded, a smile spreading on his lips. Emblyn smiled too. “Thank you!” 

A tear appeared by her eye and she quickly brushed it away. It was strange how much that nod meant to her considering she only met him a few days ago. She felt like it had been much longer. “So, did you need help with your Transfiguration?”

_________________________

A few days later Emblyn and her friends entered the Great Hall and went to take their seats by the Ravenclaw table. Emblyn began loading her plate with potatoes and beef when Morgan came over. He sat down beside her, opposite Charlie who was poking around with her fork in the food on her plate deep in thought. Morgan conjured a bright smile that if it had been any wider would have split his face into two.

“Hi” he breathed carefully.

“Hi Morgan. Have you already eaten?” Emblyn looked over to the Hufflepuff-table where two seventh years sat closely huddled together, whispering about something only known to the two of them. The boy had thick auburn hair and a goofy grin on his face while the girl had curly brown hair and a wide, genuine smile. One place was vacant on the opposite side of the table before them. Morgan must just have left it.

“Yeah, I have. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the library with me later?”

“Yeah, that would be great actually.” Emblyn decided. “We have a potions essay due Monday that I want to start researching before all the good books have been taken. Perhaps Adalyn and Charlie would like to come with us? We can study together.”

Charlie seemed to like the idea. She was also puzzled when it came to Morgan. This gave her a chance to get to know him better and maybe unwrap the mystery that was Merlin Emrys. But Adalyn seemed concerned.

“Sure,” she said uncertainly. “But tryouts start at seven and I’d like to make the best team I can for this Quidditch season.”

They already knew that because Adalyn had not stopped talking about her new role as captain of Ravenclaws quidditch team since the sorting ceremony. Now they knew about everyone old enough and with a small capacity to play quidditch in Ravenclaw.

In addition they had heard, multiple times, about their strengths and weaknesses. If they would fit as seekers, beaters, keepers or … .

So Emblyn smiled. She really loved her friend's enthusiasm. 

“Of course. I mean you are the best seeker Ravenclaw has ever had, it would be a big loss if you didn't get to stay. Not that that would ever happen.”

Adalyn smiled right back, sensing the directions her friend's thoughts had traveled.

“No, you're probably right. But it would be nice to meet the remaining members of the team before tryouts start.”

“It's no problem,” Emblyn answered. “We will come with you down to the pitch like we have always done.”

Adalyn fired off another of the blazing smiles that she was well known for.

“Thank you, you’re the best.”

_______________________

An hour later Emblyn and her friends sat by a corner table in the library. The table was covered in books and papers and they were all deeply in thought. Morgan turned a page in his book, breaking the silence for a second. Emblyn looked up and smiled. "I was thinking about something." She said uncertainly. 

Morgan didn't look up from his book. "Mhm?" 

"You know, the morning we left for the Hogwarts express I woke up drenched in cold sweat, shaking from head to toe. I had a really bad dream and it felt so real."

 This caught his attention and Morgan's head snapped up. "Do you remember it?" 

Emblyn nodded "Yeah, I do." She quickly told him, and her friends who were listening too at this point, about the dream. She could see Morgan's eyes widening with every word as in recognition but she didn't understand what he could possibly recognize. When she fell quiet Morgan just looked at her. "That's… Wow!" He said. Emblyn sighed “Yeah, but do you think it means anything?”

Morgan opened his mouth and closed it, then tried once again to answer. 

“I don’t know. Maybe…” he finally settled on. 

But before he could finish Adalyn practically screamed. “Wow! You had a dream about Camelot? And a dragon named Kilgharrah? I've never heard of that before. Btw, dragons are awesome!”

“Yeah,” Emblyn said. She was feeling quite overwhelmed by the whole scenario. “But I don't understand it. And why do I feel like I recognize that boy, Merlin? I mean, I know that I have never met him before. Or is the dream trying to tell me that I have and that he needs me? Am I supposed to know who he is?”

At this point Morgan's face was as white as marble and his eyes hadn’t left Emblyn for a second after she had mentioned her dream. 

Adalyn did not seem to notice and she happily and cheerfully continued talking.

“Maybe? We should take a look at the legends about Merlin and the Knights of the round table anyway.”

In all the excitement about the dream Adalyn had totally forgotten about the tryouts. So Emblyn, like the good friend she was, felt the need to remind her.

“Do we have time for that now? Otherwise it'll have to wait until tomorrow.”

The quidditch captain actually shrieked.

“Tempus! Shit, I have to go, tryouts start in ten minutes.”

She scooped her books into her bag and looked questioningly back at Emblyn.

“You can go,” Emblyn reassured her hysterical friend. “We will put the books back. Did you want to come with us down to the Quidditch pitch Morgan? I know it's not your house team but…” 

Morgan shook his head as he put his books in his bag. "It doesn't matter. I can start looking into the legends about Arthur and the Knights of the round table. Besides, Hugo and Sam asked if I wanted to play exploding snap later so I have to go back to our common room anyway." 

Adalyn's footsteps echoed through the quiet library as Emblyn took her wand down from where she had stored it behind her right ear. 

"Great, thank you. See you tomorrow then." She gave him a wide smile before hurrying after Charlie through the library, down a fleet of stairs and out onto the darkening grounds. They ran down to one of the Ravenclaw stands and up the stairs, both of them out of breath when they took their seats and dropped their bags on the wooden floor.

Emblyn saw that a few other students from both their and the other houses were watching and down on the pitch were twelve figures holding their brooms. Five of them were from the previous team, hoping to keep their spot another year. One of them, Adalyn, stood in front of the others. Her face lit up with a smile as she caught sight of Emblyn from the ground. She waved hastily and Emblyn waved back.

The last rays of sun disappeared behind the trees in the forbidden forest as Adalyn ended the tryouts and sent the students that were unsuccessful to bed. She talked a little to the other members of the team before they too left for bed. 

Emblyn and Charlie pulled their cloaks closer to shield themselves from the chill September air as they stood up and walked down to her. 

Adalyn smiled brightly at them. “I've got a great feeling this year!” she said happily, picking up the box of practice snitches. They walked together and Emblyn opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by an unexplainable wave of dizziness. 

She stumbled forward and blinked trying to clear her view but to no success. Instead, she found herself sitting on the wooden floor of a small house. Her clothes were different from what she was used to and her hair was no longer freely moving with the wind but set in two thick braids. 

Opposite her, on the floor sat a young boy. He could not be older than perhaps nine or ten, his hair was raven black and his eyes were blue as the sea. Those eyes, there was something familiar about them. But just as Emblyn, or at least that's what she thought, opened her mouth to ask him about it, a woman came running in through the door behind the boy. The look on her face was one of pure terror and Emblyn could hear it in her voice as she spoke. “Merlin, take Emblyn with you and run! You have to get out of here, it's not safe. They're coming, run!”

The boy, Merlin, stood up and held out his hand. She felt herself involuntarily take it in her own and looked down. The outstretched hand she now saw was not her own. It was small and pale, quite like the boy's. This confused her, she couldn't possibly have aged backwards seven years. This didn't make sense. Her thoughts were interrupted however by Merlin pulling her along through the door and out of the little house. She felt her feet moving as if by an invisible force and she couldn't do anything about it. It was as if she saw a scene unfolding through someone else's eyes. 

They ran through the little village, Ealdor, and into the forest. Merlin showed her the way and didn't stop until they came to the shore of the lake. The hand holding hers was warm and the grass was soft against her feet. 

_________________________

Morgan stood at the exact spot as they left him, his bag and books lay scattered at the table, forgotten. He looked down the corridor where they left a questioning look at his face. Then he gave the empty corridor a half smile, shrugged and picked up his bag to leave.

_________________________

Emblyn looked out at the glittering lake in front of them. It was beautiful, almost magical and she felt drawn to it for some reason. Then a wave of dizziness came over her again. She stepped forward trying to keep steady but failed. Darkness overtook her as she fell to the ground and lost consciousness.

When she opened her eyes again she was met with Charlie's worried face. “Embyn, are you okay?” 

She blinked a little, “Yes.” she said warily, “Where am I?”

 “In the hospital wing. You passed out when we left the quidditch pitch so Adalyn and I brought you here.” She looked away a little before she continued. “You have been unconscious for almost two hours and we were getting worried.” 

Footsteps approached them and Adalyn came into view. “You're finally awake!” she broke into a wide smile. 

“How do you feel?” 

Emblyn smiled back “It could have been better but if I just get a night's rest in the dorm, I'll be fine.” 

Adalyn nodded “I'll talk to Madam Pomfrey.” 

Fifteen minutes later, the trio made their way back to the Ravenclaw common room. Adalyn and Charlie talked lightly but Emblyn couldn't let go of what just happened. She knew that place and the boy but she couldn't remember from where. She was just about to ask Adalyn about it when Adalyn turned to her. 

“Umm, is it okay for you to go back by yourself? Charlie and I have something to do.” 

Emblyn smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. “Of course!”

Chapter Text

"Once upon a younger year

When all our shadows disappeared

The animals inside came out to play

Went face to face with all our fears

Learned our lessons through the tears

Made memories we knew would never fade

One day you'll leave this world behind

So live a life you will remember"

- The nights by Avicci

Halloween was a magical time at Hogwarts. The prefects and teachers had decorated the corridors, the classrooms, the library and the great hall. Basically every main area the students occupied. 

When Emblyn first came to Hogwarts she had thought it was a bit scary. The spiders, webs and pumpkins glaring at her from every corner. Now she thoroughly enjoyed every second of the holiday, especially since it was her last year at Hogwarts.

The day after Halloween they were late to breakfast. It may or may not have been caused by Adalyn insisting that they pulled at least one Halloween prank on their last Halloween in school. Since Hogwarts already had ghosts wandering through the halls and big spiders living in the forest nearby, Adalyn had had to be very creative. Therefore Emblyn’s hair was full of glue and slime, Charlie was covered in spiderwebs and the genius behind the so-called “master plan” had blue hands and partly purple hair.

They sat down on the edge of the Ravenclaw table, a bit tired but in a good mood. It did not really matter that they were late because the seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had a free period first thing in the morning. Emblyn looked around the hall and noticed another company sitting at the Hufflepuff table.

“Look! There is Morgan.” 

Charlie, who had been even quieter lately than usual, disturbed their well-earned breakfast by grinning and pulling them over to their table. Charlie and Adalyn sat down next to Morgan and Emblyn on the other side of the table, next to Sam and Hugo.

There was no one else in the great hall that late in the morning so no one protested about the breaking of house rules. Emblyn was even secretly glad that Charlie pulled them over to Morgan's table. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had become an almost inseparable group of friends over the last few months.  

The Hufflepuffs did not look impressed by their appearances but before they could comment on it Charlie spoke.

“I have something to tell you. And you’re not going to like it.”

Normally, if it were anyone else in the group that came with that statement, they would have continued to talk about the prank or the lessons. But Charlie almost never spoke up, and never with that tone. So everyone listened.

“You guys know that my dad works in the ministry, right?” They nodded. “There has been some trouble lately and the ministry is trying to silence the whispers but my dad told me anyway.”

Morgan looked alerted and ready to spring into action. Emblyn first thought it was weird because what can a 17 year old student do? But something in his eyes made her reevaluate her statement.

“What is it?” Morgan asked.

Charlie took a deep breath. “There have been reports of dark magic being used. Really dark magic. Dad said that kind of magic has not been practiced in hundreds of years because it is too dangerous.”

Emblyn felt chills going through her body. She thought of her dream. Could it all be connected somehow? Then she looked at Morgan. His skin was usually very pale but now he was pale as marble and he looked directly at her with big eyes.

“Where?” Sam asked.

“That is the worst part of it.” Charlie claimed.”The reports claimed that it was close to Hogwarts!”

A thick silence folded over the usually so cheery friends. They looked at each other and came to silent agreement. They would face it together. After a while Hugo spoke again.

“The ministry does realize they can’t keep this a secret forever, don’t they? It is going to come out eventually and when it does the fear will spread like a wildfire.” 

Hugo was proven correct. Just a few weeks later the atmosphere was solemn in the halls of Hogwarts. Groups of friends chattered silently in the corridors between lessons. The words “dark magic”, “dangerous”, “old magic” and “war?” was uttered often but the latter was more frequently asked as a dreaded question instead.

Morgan paled every time he heard someone talk about and the friends kept close together.

But most importantly, Morgan kept very close to Emblyn.

_______________________

Merlin, Adalyn, Emblyn, Sam, Hugo and Charlie sat in the library. They were seated on pillows on the floor that Merlin had conjured with a wave of his wand. It was really quiet but that was probably because Merlin had shown them a part of the library weeks ago that was not very well known and very far away from other students.

The truth was that it had been Rowena Ravenclaw's favorite part of the library and she had built it in hope to have some time away from the other founders. Eventually she had invited Merlin too. They had spent hours studying his past and the prophecy together, trying to figure out a way to get Arthur and Emblyn back.

So he thought that it was only fitting that he brought Emblyn here now.

The room itself was formed as a hexagon with bookshelves around an open place in the middle. A dark door was hidden behind one of the bookshelves and the whole place illuminated by floating candles, just like in the great hall. 

Well, at night at least. Rowena and Merlin had spent countless hours working on the roof. Eventually they had built an enchanted ceiling that you could see through when you were in the room but not from the outside. That resulted in a roof that let in the sunlight during the day and at night stars gazed at the residents of the small room. They had later done something similar to the ceiling in the great hall.

That particular November afternoon they were all studying for the upcoming exams before winter break. It had to have some benefits of being the most powerful warlock of all time and to have lived as long as he had and one of them was being really good at schoolwork. He practically was history! He had invented many of the spells for charmes and worked as a physician enough time to know almost every potion at heart.

His friends were all a bit awed and irritated at this point. But at least he was very bad at transfiguration. It was simply not in his nature to transform living things into dead objects and the other way around. 

After almost 3 hours of studying everyone was pretty tired. Merlin had been waiting to tell them about his “discoveries” about Arthur and the knights around the round table but being in this room made him nostalgic so he decided to tell them something.

“Who wants to hear a story?”

“Aren’t we all a little too old for stories?” Sam asked.

“You can never be too old for stories.” Hugo threw back. He was happy to place his textbook in his lap for a while.

“Is it finally one about Arthur and Merlin?” Adalyn said.

Merlin smiled. “Yes.” He breathed.

Then he proceeded to tell a story about a lost boy who came to Camelot to learn magic and ended up getting more than he bargained for. A prophecy, powerful enemies, scars but most importantly he found brothers in the knights, friends in serving girls and his other half to make him whole. He talked about dragons, quests, knights and true love. Always careful not to say too much. Nothing to reveal that it was more than a story.

When he was finished they all just looked at him. Adalyn with big eyes, Sam slightly concerned, Hugo with disbelief and Emblyn thoughts was too far away in a land of myth and a time of magic to read.  

“No, no, no,” Hugo protested. “Merlin was not a servant. He was a mentor to Arhur and an old man!”

“This fits more with Emblyns dream, right sweety?” Emblyn nodded in Adalyn's direction weakly. Then she looked at Merlin. “Where did you learn this?”

Merlin had known these questions would come so he had already prepared an answer.

“My late father was friends with an ancestor to the druids.” It was not a complete lie. Merlin had long since learned that the best lies had a core of truth. His friends seemed to swallow this without a second thought.

“No,” Hugo repeated. “I have studied Merlin a lot. He is one of the most fascinating persons in all of history. And he did so many great things! Magic probably wouldn't even exist if he had not helped Arthur after the great purge! It is a disgrace to his memory to even suggest he was a servant.”

Merlin chuckled slightly. If he just knew all the times he had been in the stocks or cleaned the stables. “I wouldn’t know more than you do about this subject.” 

Hugo seemed to realize he had been a bit hard. “But your friend was right about some things. He was the last dragonlord. Not many people know that!”

Sam yawned loudly. It was getting late.

“I think they shagged.” Adalyn said suddenly and way too happily to be entirely innocent. “Your Arthur and Merlin, I mean Morgan.”

Merlin that had been about to walk over to one of the bookshelves tripped over his feet and choked. Fortunately no one seemed to notice.

“Did they even know what homosexuality was during the middle ages?” Sam countered. Merlin was fighting hard not to blush or say something really inappropriate, or perhaps both. Possibly including the words cabbage head and clotpole.

“Of course.” Emblyn sounded sure.

“Yes and they were absolutely shagging.” Adalyn was almost halfway out the door.

Hugo seemed to consider. “Then what about Guinevere?”

“Threeway?” The almost always silent Charlie said to everyone's surprise. Sam laughed out loud.

They continued to bicker all the way up to the dorms. Merlin was silent for once.

____________________

Nothing unusual happened the following month and Christmas rolled around with all its glory. The halls of Hogwarts were decorated with wreaths and garlands and the great hall was adorned with four large Christmas trees full of Christmas baubles and glitter. The students were followed between lessons by scents of chocolate and gingerbread and the Hogwarts grounds were covered in a thick layer of soft snow. 

Friday afternoon, a week before the Christmas holidays, Emblyn, Adalyn and Charlie met Morgan, Sam and Hugo in the kitchens. They sat down by a table and the houselves immediately served them cups of hot chocolate. 

Emblyn was the first to speak up. “I was thinking that we could stay at Hogwarts during the Christmas holidays. It's our last year here and Christmas at Hogwarts is truly magical” 

Adalyn nodded “That sounds like a great idea. I'm in!” 

Sam and Hugo looked at each other and then Sam spoke. “I would love to spend Christmas with you but I have to owl my parents first.” 

Emblyn looked at Morgan who was deep in thought. “What about you Morgan? Are you going to stay?” 

Morgan jerked back and met her gaze. “What? Oh, yeah that sounds great.” 

Emblyn gave him a skeptic look. “Okay, sounds like we have a plan then.” They drank their chocolate and enjoyed themselves a little more before they had to go to dinner.

__________________

On the morning of Christmas day, Emblyn was woken up by the scent of breakfast and found a big pile of presents by the foot of her bed. She decided to wake the others up so they could open their presents together. 

When she drew her drapes apart she saw that both of the other beds had their drapes closed. This was a bit weird since Adalyn usually didn't close hers. She shrugged to herself and picked up her scrunchy from her nightstand to put up her hair before she walked over to Charlie's bed. She drew the drapes apart only to find the bed empty. 

She wondered where the quiet girl could be before she realized something. Emblyn had suspected that there was something going on between Adalyn and Charlie for a while now and she fully supported it if that was the truth. That was why she carefully tiptoed over to Adalyn's bed and peaked between the drapes. 

Her guess had been correct, the girls were sleeping peacefully together, legs and arms intertwined from a late night cuddle. She decided to let them sleep but it was too late. Adalyn stirred and opened her eyes, quickly squinting at the sunlight filtering in through the gap in the drapes. 

She caught sight of Emblyn and gasped. “Eh, we were… It's not…” Emblyn smiled “It's okay, I fully support you. Come on, let's open our Christmas gifts.” Adalyn smiled thankfully back before nudging Charlie awake. 

The three girls started unwrapping their gifts, laughing and playing around. They got a lot of chocolate and other sweets but Emblyn found nothing special until she opened her last gift, it was from Morgan. 

The gift was light and soft and when she unwrapped it, soft fabric spilled onto her bed. She picked it up and looked at it. 

It was a dress in a beautiful shade of blue and white and underneath it was a black cloak. Adalyn's eyes widened, “Ooh! Come on, try it on.” she ushered Emblyn up from the bed. Emblyn hesitated a little before she headed to the bathroom to try it on. 

The dress fitted her perfectly and the fabric was soft against her skin. She looked at herself in the mirror and took in the picture. She felt right, this dress felt like home. She picked up the cloak and sniffed a little at it, it even smelt like home. There was a hint of forest, horse and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on. She shrugged before, in an unusually familiar motion, she fastened the cloak around her shoulders and went out to the others again.

Adalyn thought that Emblyn looked very beautiful in her new dress and she told her as much when she sat down on her bed again. "Do you know why Morgan would give you that?" She asked. "It looks medieval, doesn't it?" 

Emblyn nodded. "It does. Maybe he just thought that it suited me?" She suggested. "Anyway, we have to go down to breakfast now. Do you think I should still wear it?"

"Yeah, totally!" Adalyn smiled brightly "You go ahead, Charlie and I will be there soon."

__________________

Morgan's eyes shone with happiness when he saw her wearing the clothes he had given her and his mood seemed better the following days. But three days after Christmas day Emblyn and her friends entered the Great hall only to be met with two distressed faces. Hugo and Sam spoke quickly in each other's mouths and did not succeed in coming up with a single sensible word. 

"What is it?" Emblyn asked. 

"Please" she interrupted them as they began rambling again "One at a time." 

Sam took Hugo's hand and Hugo spoke again. "Morgan is gone. He wasn't in his bed when I woke up this morning and he didn't show up for breakfast. I hope nothing bad has happened to him." 

Emblyn's eyes widened "Morgan is gone? Do you have any clue about where he is?" 

Sam nodded "Yes, we do. He left a book on his bed," she dug around in her bag a little "here it is." 

Emblyn laughed halfheartedly "It's a book about charms. How could that possibly help us to find Morgan?" 

Sam snorted, "Open it." 

She opened the book and inside it was a note stuck to a page with a picture of a cave. Emblyn read the note out loud. "Please don't follow me, this could be dangerous. I will be back soon. Morgan"

A cold stone settled in the bottom of her gut. 

“He really should know better at this point.” Charlie said.

Adalyn nodded. “He really should.”

“Well, obviously we are all going...” Hugo began but was interrupted by Adalyn.

“Obviously.”

“...so how soon can we be on our way?”

Charlie looked around. “There is no time to waste. You said he had been gone all morning?” Sam nodded.”I know you haven't had breakfast yet but we need to go as fast as possible.”

They all hurried out of the Great hall, but when they arrived at the gate Emblyn stopped abruptly.

“Wait, we don’t even know where he is!”

The others stopped too. 

“Yeah, that may slightly hinder the rescue attempt.” Hugo said. Adalyn laughed. In all the rush they had simply forgotten that.

Sam showed them the photograph. “This is where he must be.”

“The only problem is that we don’t know where it is. It could be many miles away or in America for all we know!” Emblyn pointed out and the others looked crestfallen. 

All except Hugo. “I might actually know where that is. I once hid there from some really, really mad Slyherins. They had somehow gotten pink robes.” He winked. “It is just outside the wards, a bit into the forest.” They smiled at each other, once again hope in their eyes.

Despite the others being in a good mood Emblyn hadn’t forgotten why they were there. Morgan could be injured or dying at this second. “Guys! What are we waiting for? Hugo, show the way. He could be in grave danger!”

At her words they sobered. After a few seconds of considering they ran.

__________________

Merlin followed the little path through the forest. If someone were indeed using dark magic close to the school they had to be here and if that someone were Morgana… he could only hope that he was wrong. 

He focused on the path and drew on his magic, it wound its way through the forest and he could not see any particular obstacles. It felt a little too easy to be true. Maybe he was wrong, maybe it wasn't the cave he should be looking for. He continued through the forest without noticing the five figures rushing up the path to follow him.

_________________

Emblyn knew that Morgan hadn't seen the large boulder rolling down the mountain so she did the only thing she could. 

"Morgan, watch out!" She screamed at him but only succeeded in making him turn around at the sound of her voice. 

She raised her wand at the boulder and shouted "Bombarda!" 

The gigantic stone exploded into a million pieces that rained down around Morgan like hail. 

Morgan's first response was anger "What are you doing here? Are you alone?" He snapped. 

Emblyn shook her head "No, the others are here too." The bushes rustled and Adalyn, Charlie, Sam and Hugo stepped out onto the path. 

Morgan shook his head, "No, you can't be here. You have to go back. I have to do this alone."

 Hugo snorted "Don't be stupid, we won't leave. We want to help you." 

Emblyn stepped forward and took his hand. She could feel her magic reacting to the touch. There was something special about Morgan. "We are your friends." She said "And friends stay together." 

Morgan looked at the little group and felt a tear fall down his cheek, he hadn't had any real friends since Arthur and the Knights left him. He had been too scared to form any bonds. Scared that he would lose them like he had the others. He had known that his friends would die and he would live on, that was his curse. Having friends was too painful and too much of a reminder of what he had once lost. 

But seeing these young people standing here in front of him and hearing them say that they wanted to be his friends meant everything to him. He realized that he didn't really want them to leave. He wanted to protect them, yes, but that didn't mean that they had to leave. He understood now how much stronger he would be if he didn't have to be alone. 

"Thank you!" He said and a smile broke out on his face "Thank you for making me understand. I'm sorry I left like that and I realize now that I want you here. You saved my life for god's sake!" He laughed and this time, for the first time in 1500 years, he felt at ease. He had found home and he had found Emblyn. It didn't matter that she didn't remember him, it only mattered that she was here, standing in front of him, laughing with him, alive and well. 

When Morgan had stopped laughing, Emblyn led the way into the cave. After a few steps they were surrounded by darkness. Emblyn, who still held her wand ready to strike, muttered, "Lumos!" The tip of her wand lit up and she used it as a torch to guide their way through the tunnel.

Suddenly there was a rumbling sound from above them and the ground began shaking beneath their feet. 

"It's a cave in" Emblyn screamed as stones began falling around them. She pulled Adalyn and Charlie to the side and saw Hugo protecting Sam using his own body and a wavering shield charm. 

A stone hit Morgan, who hadn't had time to react, over the face and he stumbled away to the opposite side of them. 

"No!" Emblyn's scream echoed through the suddenly silent cave as the space between them was blocked off by a huge pile of stones. 

"Morgan! Can you hear me?!" She screamed, stepping closer to the stones. There was no sound from the other side and they would never be able to move all the stones away even if they used magic. 

Emblyn turned around to the others, "We have to find another way around." Adalyn nodded, "There's a tunnel to the right of this one over here." She said walking a few meters back through the tunnel they stood in. 

They followed the tunnel, lightning their wands to see in the darkness. After a while it broadened into a cave. They split up to see what they could find and if there were more tunnels from the cave. 

Emblyn turned left and was about to walk down to the corner when she saw something gleaming in the light from her wand. She took a step closer and crouched down to look at it, it was a sword. She put her wand behind her ear and picked it up.

It was old and the metal blade was darkened by age. She let her finger slide along its edge feeling the now blunt blade. But about 10 centimetres from its tip, there was a dip in the blade. It looked like a piece of the sword was missing. She wondered what could have happened that had broken it that way. She put it back on the floor and turned around to see if the others had found anything. 

Adalyn's voice echoed happily through the cave. "This is sooo cool. Oh look, here's an old fireplace. I wonder if people have lived here. Charlie look at these markings on the wall here." She skipped through the cave pointing out pointless things like stones and wet moss. 

Emblyn shook her head and smiled at her. She didn't really understand where Adalyn found all that energy but then again, she wouldn't be Adalyn if she didn't. Then something that Adalyn had said popped up again. A fireplace? She walked closer and saw the ring of stones on the floor. She crouched down to get a better look at it and realized that it had been used recently. The inside of the ring was black of soot and a pile of half burnt pieces of wood lay in the middle. Taking her wand down from her ear, she reached out to touch the stones. She felt small immersions in their surface and when she took back her hand and looked at it her fingers were covered in dark red stains. 

“Charlie!” she called “Do you know anything about these markings?” She asked Charlie because not only was she a pureblood, she was also interested in everything about the history of magic and its evolution. 

Charlie came over and looked at the stones. “No, I don't know what they mean, but given their placement I'd reckon they're part of some sort of ritual. I do know that runes were used in the past and these remind me of the examples I've seen of magic based in the old religion.” 

Emblyn nodded, “Great, but now we have to find Morgan. He might be hurt, or dead for all we know.” She regretted saying it as soon as it left her lips, “No, he's not dead. Not dead.” He can’t be.

Adalyn, who had known Emblyn the longest, knew that Emblyn did not want empty words to console her. She knew that she needed to find him so without a word she began to walk back the way they had come. The room they currently stood in was a dead end so they would need to see if they could find another way.

Emblyn was happy to follow Adalyn and grateful that she knew her so well. 

When they got back to the room where they had last seen Morgan Emblyn heard something. She quickly signaled to the others and they immediately formed a circle, wands out and pointing at the shadows where the sound had come from. She could feel Hugo beside her. He was tense and his wide eyes were scanning the room. 

Emblyn breathed quickly through her nose and waited.

_____________________

Emblyn had saved Merlin’s life. Or rather had saved him from getting crushed by a boulder, the painful experience of having all your bones in your body breaking and then mending together in under a few minutes and a lot of awkward questions. But, you know, figures.  

And Merlin had reacted with anger. Now he felt terrible.

On top of that, he had been so worried about Emblyn and their friends getting hurt that he did not see the rockfall before it was too late. A rock hit him square in the face and made him stumble backwards. Then all of a sudden the whole ceiling caved in over his head. The last thing he heard was Emblyn’s frantic cries.

Ten minutes later he awoke. He knew it was around ten minutes later because, in his experience, that was how long the magic took to make him rise from the dead. It was not pleasant waking up. Mainly because he was still stuck under a few meters of crushing stones. Again. He hated dying like that. Not that there were any good types of dying, they all unconditionally sucked. All he was saying was that if he had to pick one way to die, it would maybe be to step in front of a loved one to save them, not being crushed by many tons of stones.

His eyes flashed gold and the stones on top of him vanished. One of the perks of being magic itself. 

The warlock rose on shaking legs and blinked a few times to get used to the light around him. The cave came into focus, it’s walls shining with drops of water that were slowly pouring down to the floor where they rested in puddles. Merlin had been resurrected in one of them. He could clearly see which one because it was filled with his blood and so was now his jacked so he removed it. 

Since the way was now blocked by evil-warlock-crushing-and-friend-separating stones he started looking around for another way out. Fortunately there was another tunnel on his left so he headed over there. After a couple of minutes of walking through the tunnel a light could be seen far ahead and Merlin correctly assumed that that was his way out. 

The tunnel emerged into the woods just a couple of yards from their original way into the cave. Once inside the cave it was obsidian dark again so he conjured a ball of light, not much unlike the one that had led a prince through a similar cave back in Camelot, so he could see were he was going since he was not one of the most gracious people in the world much to his friends’ amusement.

When he was close to the cave where they had gotten separated he heard someone moving. It was possible that it could be whoever caused the cave in so Merlin pulled his magic back inside him, once again becoming exposed to the crushing darkness. 

Quietly he sneaked closer to the entrance and listened. The persons in there had stilled, sensing him, and the only sound that could be heard was the ragged breathing of his supposed enemies. 

He counted to three before he stormed into the cave, an incantation ready on his lips, only to stop abruptly when he saw his friends standing in a circle with their wands drawn.

When they saw him they all lowered their wands and Emblyn was the first one to reach him, hugging him tightly. “I thought I lost you!” The words were painfully memorable and stirred up unwanted memories even after all this time.

“It’s okay.”

Hugo shook his head. “No it’s not. You’re bleeding.”

He was not bleeding, but he had been so he figured he looked pretty bad. “It doesn’t hurt that much.”

“You need to see Madam Pomfrey, mate.” Adalyn insisted. “You should not have survived that. How did you? Not that we are not grateful.”

The warlock considered. “Luck, I suppose, and good reflexes.”

“You must be the luckiest son of a bitch alive.” Sam said. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He was once again swept into a bone crushing hug. “Careful!”

“Sorry, we need to get you to Pomfrey.”

He agreed so they started walking to the entrance, the others trailing behind.

Chapter Text

When the world becomes a fantasy

And you're more than you could ever be

'Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open

And you know you can't go back again

To the world that you were living in

'Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open

So, come alive!

- Come alive, from the Greatest Showman 

It took 3 days after his miraculous recovery, which no one really could explain, before Merlin’s friends ambushed him with questions when they visited him in the hospital wing. He was surprised it took that long actually.

“How did you survive?” Adalyn asked.

“Did you see someone in the cave?” said Emblyn.

“You didn’t even have a wand.” Hugo pointed out.

“You weren’t even injured.” Charlie continued.

The questions came so rapidly from every direction that Merlin didn’t understand which one to answer first.

“Guys, guys. Slow down.” He tried but no one listened.

But Sam simply raised a hand and they all shut up. She was so like Gwen at that moment that Merlin's breath caught in his throat. “Don’t harass poor Morgan. He is white as a sheet. Your questions are getting you nowhere.”

Sam had always been his favorite Merlin decided. Bless her soul. She was so like Gwen and was fair to everyone and had a heart so big it astonished everyone that met her. An absolute angel with only his best in her thoughts.

The Hufflepuff girl continued. “And, by the way, you are all asking the wrong questions. We need to start from the beginning. Who are you and why did you start here at Hogwarts?”

Abort mission. Was this what his life had come to? Absolute betrayal. Why did everyone betray him? Was he hard to like? Did he trust everyone too easily? For the record he never liked Sam. He never thought she could do that to him, she had always been his most trusted friend. He was deeply hurt!

He turned to his stupid-stabbing-kind-warlock-in-the-back-when-he-least-expected-it-friend, trying to figure out what to say. “I haven’t lied about who I am. You know me like really no other person does.” It was technically the truth. He hadn’t hidden any part of his personality from them. 

Adalyn and Sam still looked unconvinced and angry. Emblyn looked unsure if she’d rather hide behind something or stay and watch it all go to hell. Hugo interrupted before she could decide on her course of action. “What about the fall of stones?”

“I was really lucky I suppose.” He decided. “The cave in was small and didn’t really hit me. It was just the one stone.” That was not really the truth but what could he do?

His friends did not look convinced. “Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me?”

“No.” Emblyn answered and that was that.

The rest of the evening they spent playing cards and teasing Hugo and Sam about the googly eyes they did at each other during the evening. Merlin was no expert but he would bet a lot of money that they would become an item before spring break.

____________________________

Emblyn was running. An arrow whistled closely to her ear. They were close, too close. Soon they would be right behind her. She could not get away. Would not survive. 

She continued running. Faster and faster but they were right at her heel. Someone drew a sword. This was it. Emblyn stopped, knowing this was the end. Her attacker raised the sword. The edge rained down on her in all its glory and hit soft skin. She waited for the pain, but there was none.

She awoke with a jerk and hit her head on a book. Her exclaim of surprise woke Adalyn and Charlie, with whom she shared a dorm. Emblyn’s eyes were glowing bright gold and all some of their stuff was flying. Thereof hitting her head in a flying book.

Somewhere deep inside her she knew she was causing this.

Once she had thought that the enchantment immediately stopped and all their stuff fell to the ground, the book once again hitting her on the head. Lovely way to start the morning.

Charlie looked around in awe. “That is old magic. Why haven't you told us that you have old magic?”

“Y-Your eyes turned golden.” Adalyn looked determinedly at her pillow, not meeting Emblyn’s eyes as she spoke.

It hurt, knowing that Adalyn was afraid of her, of what she could do. So she focused on that feeling instead of dealing with the fact about what she just had done.

Red hot anger roared in her head. “What about it?”

“That’s the kind of magic that you used in your dream.” Adalyn answered and looked at her, but not with terror in her eyes but love. “That is a piece to the mystery about your dream. We can figure it out. We will not give up until we do. You know we got your back. Always.” 

It was such an Adalyn thing to say. Shame coursed through Emblyn’s body, she had misjudged Adalyn’s body language and she should have known by now that her friends always had her back. They had proved themselves time and time again and she had just assumed…

All the remaining anger left her body like the tidal waves leaves the land. “I’m sorry.”

Charlie looked right through her, like she always does. “We know, it is okay. It was just the chock that made your thoughts cloudy.”

“I am sorry anyways. But thank you.”

Adalyn jumped over to Emblyn’s bed and swung her arm across Emblyn’s still trembling shoulder. “We will figure this out. And everything that the world throws upon us. Together.”

Charlie also moved over to sit beside Emblyn so they were all placed atop of Emblyn’s blue covers. Shoulder to shoulder, just as they sometimes had slept during their first years when the longing for home became too much to handle, when the grand walls of the school came closer, suffocating them or when the world just seemed like a too big and scary place to be alone in.

Emblyn wanted to say something to her friends. Explain how she felt or what she was going through but a look from Charlie told her she didn’t need to. 

She just lay down and after a moment the others joined her. They didn’t say a word during the rest of the night. They just lay there and drew strength from each other.

And Emblyn knew everything would be okay.

_______________________

Mere seconds after a certain strawberry blonde Ravenclaw awoke, her eyes swirling with gold, Merlin sat straight up in his bed in the dorm that he shared with Hugo. The furniture, which had all been hovering a few inches above the floor, came crashing down and Merlin’s eyes returned to their usual colour. 

Hugo awoke by the crash and just stared at Merlin.

“Your eyes turned gold and you lifted the furniture, in your sleep.” Hugo said, eloquent as ever.

Merlin tried to think about something that could get him out of this mess. “It was accidental magic?” He tried, it did not sound very convincing.

“No, your eyes turned gold, remember. That was not accidental magic. That was old magic. Powerful old magic. The kind they used when Merlin lived and the same kind as in Emblyns dream.”

He began to panic, any excuse was better than having to tell the truth.

“We all wondered how you survived the cave. That must have been why!” Hugo continued, not sensing Merlin’s panic. “But you should not have survived that even with powerful old magic. No, you are a mystery Morgan. And I think it is time you tell me the truth.”

Maybe. He had withheld the truth before and that had not ended well. Maybe it should feel nice, but he only felt terrified. It had been so long since anyone had known who he really was. He did not know how Hugo would react. But Hugo was the best friend he had had in a long time. He deserved the truth and Merlin deserved to not be hated for it.

Finally he decided what he was going to say. “You’re not going to like it and you can never ever tell anyone without asking me first. And you should know, this is dangerous information. The wrong sort of people, dangerous people, will stop at nothing to kill you and me if they ever find out.”

Hugo looked a bit sick and swallowed hard. “You’re only seventeen! What can you have done that is so bad? Have you killed anyone? Are you extremely powerful?”

How could he put this delicately?

“Funny you should mention that. Yes, I am the most powerful warlock ever to walk this earth and I have killed plenty of people. But only if I had to!” He added the last sentence quickly when he saw Hugo’s mortified expression.

On the other hand, he had never been good at putting things delicately. This was bad. Abort mission. Maybe he could live out the rest of his immortal life on an island far away from all of this mess. Gwen would have killed him if he ever was so careless.

“The most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth is Merlin and you can’t be him!”

Well…the island sounded like a nice idea at the moment.

“I know, no pointy hat, no beard, no everything.” He said to lighten up the mood. It worked. Hugo laughed.

“But you wanted the truth. So I will have to give it to you. How unbelievable it may be.” Hugo moved a bit to the left so he could see Merlin’s face. “You’ve studied the time of Arthur Pendragon and Merlin, right?”

Hugo nodded.

“Do you remember that there were prophecies about Emrys and the once and future king?”

“Yes, it was a prophecy about Merlin and Arthur. It was fulfilled as Arhtur died.”

Merlin shook his head.

“No, they did not fulfill their destiny. Merlin failed. He did not reveal his magic until Arthur was at his death bed. The gods knew that and therefore Arthur is called the once and future king. He is destined to come back when Albion's need is the greatest. And Merlin is cursed to wander the land until his return. Immortal and waiting until the world needs them.”

When Merlin stopped talking Hugo looked at him. After a few seconds he realized what he was implying. He connected the facts. The cave, his detailed knowledge about Merlin and what he just told him.

“N-no.” He shook his head. Not wanting to believe it.

“I’m sorry.” He really was. For telling him. For not telling him sooner. He did not know which. Maybe it didn’t matter.

“I don’t believe you.” Hugo claimed. But Merlin could see that it was a lie. The truth could be seen in his eyes.

“Yes, you do.”

“Show me!”

So he did. He tenderly placed a hand at Hugo’s brow. Then he let his magic slowly flow into his head with one carefully chosen memory. A memory of a hunt with the knights and Arthur. The knights talked happily about something and Arthur turned around to look at Merlin through the morning mist. It was not a smile that graced the king's lips as much as the ghost of one. His golden hair was shining as the light hit it from the side and Merlin smiled back. The once king nodded his head gravely as if they shared a secret only known to the two of them and turned forward to Camelot which could be seen in the distance. Majestic towers against a blue sky.

He pulled away.

Hugo blinked a few times. Then he did something that surprised Merlin and he was not often surprised. He hugged him. Tight without letting go.

“You really are him.”

“Yes,” he breathed as he sat up. “Unfortunately I am. Doomed to wander around through the centuries by myself.”

“Not anymore. You have me. I have been your friend through thick and thin for a year now. It is not like I am going to stop. You are stuck with me.”

Merlin blinked away a tear and hugged him again.

“Thank you.”

Hugo laughed. “And it must have it’s perks to be friends with the most powerful sorcerer ever to live.”

He paused. Merlin had a bad feeling about this.

“We are going to pull so many great pranks! First of all: how do you feel about turning the sky green?”

Merlin laughed warmly and openly for the first time in a very long time.

“All in due time. We don’t want anyone to figure out who I am for a while yet. But you can ask me anything you want. I have done some really good pranks during the centuries.” Hugo grinned, during the coming weeks he was going to regret saying that. 

And thus began the questions.

__________________________

In May the last visit to Hogsmeade for the seventh year was supposed to take place. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had decided to go together. 

They departed soon after breakfast, bubbling with laughter and excitement but also dread because it was their last visit together as Hogwarts students and some of their best memories had taken place there. For example when a 14 year old Adalyn had insisted that she wasn't afraid of ghosts and tried to enter the shrieking shrakt only to come running and screaming back to them a few minutes later (needless to say, they teased her endlessly for this). The biggest snowfight of all time had also occurred there this Christmas when the first snow came. They had been out in the woods for hours. First they had made three teams and built the same amount of snow castles. Merlin had been teamed up with Emblyn and they had crushed all the restence mercilessly. It may or may not have been because they had enchanted the snowballs to chase after the other teams. If it did no one suspected anything. When the sun had begun to disappear behind the mountains they had all collapsed laughing in the somewhat smoking remains of one of the castles. 

Merlin smiled at the memory when they stepped into the small village. He had always thought this was one of the most welcoming places on earth and it did not disappoint him this time either. 

Hogsmeade was buzzing with life and people were entering and exiting the small shoppa while wearing pleasant smiles. 

Before the departure Merlin had snuck down to the kitchen and requested some picnic food from the house-elves. House-elves were one of the magical creatures that recognized him so they happily obliged with bows and murmurs of 'Emrys' and 'My lord'. 

The others had thought it was a wonderful idea and Adalyn had even, they suspected, not very legally obtained firewhiskey. 

The table they found was seated on the top of a mountain, where they had a magnificent view of the village but no one was near. They had wanted to be by themselves. 

Merlin was happily eating a delicious sandwich when he heard a loud shout of "Merlin's beard!" coming from Adalyn. He couldn't help but flinch. He couldn't understand how his name was now used as a curse and was actually surprised every time someone used it, therefore the flinching.

Hugo, who sat at the other side of the table, noticed his discomfort and smiled. Merlin wiggled his eyebrows and started pulling at an imaginary beard. That earned him a loud laugh. Merlin could no longer hold it inside himself either and burst out laughing. 

"What is so funny?" Sam asked with furrowed brows. 

Merlin and Hugo just kept on laughing, not being able to stop once they began. All the tension and worry ebbing out of Merlin with the laughter. He tried to stop and looked at Hugo through the tears in his eyes but that only managed to make him laugh more.

"Nothing." Hugo managed to say between wheezes of laughter. The others were so used to the two of them at this point that they only continued their conversation. 

It took a whole two minutes before the two friends could breathe properly again. Then the conversation had moved to Adalyn's younger sister who had just started her first year at Hogwarts. 

"...she is doing great and thinks everything is so big and exciting." Adalyn was saying. 

"Yes." Sam agreed. "I saw her the other day. She is so cute! I just want to keep her and stuff her in my purse." 

Adalyn gave her an amused smile and put her hand over her heart in mock horror. "No, you can't do that. She is mine! Back off. You have Hugo. Put him in your purse!" 

Sam laughed and reached over the table to grab the crisps. 

Hugo was not amused. "Hugo is sitting right here and does not fit in purses." He protested. 

The girls only smiled and ignored him. 

“I might know a spell or two…” Merlin volunteered. Hugo fixed him with a betrayed look.

Merlin looked around at the people that were more than friends to him. Sam and Hugo were bickering teasingly, Adalyn was laughing at something Emblyn had just said and Charlie sat and looked out over the village. 

Everything was perfect. It was so easy to be around them, to forget about the world. But he couldn't. The world needed Merlin to keep on protecting it, never resting, never at ease. 

He knew that this could not go on forever. Someday he would be forced to leave, to fight another army or beast or sorcerer. He could not take them with him because if he did maybe they wouldn't return. 

Yes, someday he would go and never look back because that was how he was destined to love. 

So today he smiled wider and laughed brighter. 

___________________

After the discovery of her magic and all the studying to the finals Emblyn really needed a break. So after the end of a really trying lesson on transfiguration, in which McGonagall had once again drilled the seven things an answer needed to include on the writing exams, she headed out to sit by the lake.

It was a lovely day at the end of may and the seventh graders had the afternoon off to study. In fact, Adalyn and Charlie were probably looking for her right now. But she felt like being alone and something had drawn her here. She just didn’t know what.

She was not unhappy sitting there and watching the sunlight play on the small waves at the surface on the lake or hearing the birds chirping. It was just that she felt somewhat uneasy and after a while she knew that it was her magic. The old magic. 

Something was about to happen, she could feel it in her bones and in her very soul. She just didn’t know if it was good or bad yet.

A quiet sound of footsteps disturbed her thinking and she turned around to look at who it was. It was a stunning young woman around her mid twenties.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” Her voice was soft. Emblyn studied her closely. She was certain, it was her her magic had reacted upon.

The woman had long, curly, dark brown hair and green eyes. She was dressed in a red cloak and a dark dress. Her nails were polished blankly and not a hair was out of place in a remarkable hairstyle with braids going around her head, leaping and twisting around each other. She was beautiful and terrifying and Emblyn had the feeling that kings would bow before her and she could bring kingdoms to their knees. 

Emblyn thought she recognized her but she did not know from where. That feeling she had had a lot recently so she sighted.

“I have been looking for you.” The woman continued. “I can help you.”

“With what?” Emblyn was still not sure if she could trust her or not.

“I know who you are and why you can’t remember.” Emblyn stilled. “I know about your dreams and I know why you have them.”

It was all she had wanted all year. To figure out who she was. No one would tell her anything and she was getting tired of that. Even if she did not know who this woman was she craved the answers. Needed them.

“What do I need to do?” Her voice was surprisingly steady.

“Follow me. We need to go back to where it all started. The lake of Avalon.”

Emblyn felt chills go up and down her body at the mention of the lake. She knew the woman was right, every bone in her body told her this was home.

So she frantically scribbled down a note to her friends that she sent flying to them with a flick of her wand.

Then she went after the woman that could tell her who she was and finally lead her home.

Chapter Text

I'm coming home

I'm coming home

Tell the world I'm coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes

I'm coming home, I'm coming home

Tell the world that I'm coming home

- Coming home by Schyler Grey

Adalyn and Charlie had spent a quarter of an hour looking for Emblyn when her message arrived. During their search they had stumbled upon Morgan sitting alone in the library. When they had asked why he had only replied that Sam and Hugo needed some “alone time” because they had finally become a couple after 7 years of tiptoeing around each other. Charlie had grinned mischievously at Adalyn, delighted by the news. Adalyn was not so happy, for her friends she was of course, but she and Emblyn now owed Morgan and Charlie a lot of money.

Morgan had come with them when they had explained what they were doing and because of that he was present when the note came flying across the corridor and hit Adalyn in the face.

Of course Charlie had laughed but Morgan frowned at the note. Adalyn picked it up and read it outloud. It was clearly Emblyn’s handwriting but she seemed to have been in a hurry because the ink was smeared out and the writing sloppy.

“Something amazing happened. She says she can tell me who I am and why I’m having this dream. I need to know so I will go with her. I would tell you to not worry but I know you will and if I had fetched you I know you would have stopped me. I need to do this. See you soon. Emblyn.”

Adalyn was worried and judging by Charlie’s facial expression she was too. Morgan, on the other hand, had lost almost all the blood from his face and his eyes were terrified. They had never seen Morgan scared before. Not even during the fall in the cave. Now he was and it petrified her beyond imagination.

“I-I need to go,” was all he said before he bolted down the stairs and disappeared out of sight.

“I have never seen him scared before. This must be bad.” Charlie voiced Adalyn’s own thoughts.

“I know, we must do something. Help in every way we can.”

“We don’t even know where they are.” Charlie pointed out.

That was true. “So we will start looking. But first we must fetch the other two lovebirds. They would kill us if we did not bring them!”

Charlie considered. “Even if we must disturb their snogging session?”

“Even if we must disturb their snogging session.” Adalyn confirmed.

Fortunately for them Sam and Hugo were at least four inches apart when they found them in a corner. Adalyn let out a huge sigh of relief as Charlie caught her breath, hands on her knees.

Hugo, who had had a coil of Sam’s hair between his fingers, immediately was alerted by their distraught faces. “What is wrong?”

Adalyn explained quickly. The strange thing was that Hugo had almost exactly the same reaction as Morgan.

“... but we don’t know where they are.” Adalyn concluded after telling them that their friends were missing.

Hugo was in deep thought for some moments then he turned to look at Adalyn. “I think I do.” They waited in silence, all their focus on Hugo.”I think they may be in the cave we visited at christmas.”

It somehow made sense. That the ending would be at the place where it all began. That it was all connected.

They looked at each other and came to a silent agreement. No one was left behind.

So they all turned and ran down the corridor together.

__________________________

Emblyn quietly followed the woman through the deserted school grounds. There was a slight chill in the air that was filled with birds singing. This year the spring had decided to give them the most wonderful display it had had in a long time. The earth itself seemed to be alive and well being so the meadow they were currently walking through was a beautiful place full of red, pink, yellow, blue and white flowers. She would have stopped to admire the view but the dark haired witch seemed to be in a hurry, so she followed closely behind. 

When they passed through the wards she could feel it. The sensation was like having a cold bucket of water tipped over her head, only she did not get wet. It was not something she was looking forward to doing again.

“Ready?” The woman asked and held out her hand.

Emblyn was not sure if she ever would be ready for this. But she nodded and took her hand. “One last thing though. You claim you know everything about me but I know nothing about you. Not even your name. How do I know I can trust you?”

She smiled. It was not like Morgan’s cheerful smile or Adalyn’s joyfull grin. No it was like the smile a wolf gives a sheep or a cat gives the mouse. “You do not. You don’t need to either. The only thing you need to trust is that I can give you the answer they have kept from you for so long.”

The green eyes met the blue ones.

“Okay.”

She shook a few loose tresses of hair out of her eyes. Then she closed them hard in concentration. When she opened them they were glowing with gold. “It is Morgana, by the way.”

Before Emblyn could react in any way the ground beneath her feet was pulled away and it felt like all the air left her lounges. She felt nauseous and closed her eyes.

Then the ground returned abruptly and she stumbled forward a few steps to regain her balance. 

She opened her eyes and exhaled slowly. Behind her was an ancient forest and before her was a lake. The water was still and the only sound that could be heard was a faint rustling of leaves. It was beautiful and terrifying because she could feel the old magic practically humming in the air around the lake. She immediately knew that this was the right place. 

Emblyn was relieved that Morgana hadn’t lied to her. “What do I need to do?”

“Only one thing. There is a sword at the bottom of the lake. You need to retrieve it. You are one of the few people that can.”

How was she going to retrieve a sword from the bottom of a bloody lake?

When she voiced her concern Morgana only smirked. “You need to trust your magic. Let it guide you.”

She was not here to fetch a sword, she was here to learn who she was. But if she wanted to do that she had no choice then to listen to Morgana. So she walked to the lake.

The water was cold and made her black pants and white shirt stick to her wet skin. She took a deep breath and tried to stop shivering.

When the water reached her shoulders she stopped. Something tugged at her magic. Suddenly the birds singing in the trees stopped. Rings of waves emitted from the blade of a sword that was coming out of the lake. In just under a few seconds the whole sword was visible with a hand holding the hilt. 

Emblyn had a hard time believing what she saw and needed to blink a few times. No way, there was absolutely no way this was happening. Finally she had to admit to herself that there was actually a sword sticking out of the lake. Tenderly she reached for it. 

The moment she touched the hilt the hand disappeared. The sword was beautiful with drops of water glimmering from the blade. It looked ancient but was well preserved without a single dent. Emblyn noticed the runes close to the hilt. Fortunately for her she had been taking ‘ancient runes’ at Hogwarts.

“Pick me up.”

She turned it around.

“Cast me away.”

She knew that frase from somewhere. Then the realization hit her. This was Excalibur. The sword of Arthur Pendragon and in extension the sword in the stone.

Suddenly she knew that Morgana could not get ahold of this sword. She had to ensure that.

Slowly she walked back to the shore where Morgana already had her hand outstretched, reaching for the sword.

When Emblyn did not immediately hand it over she frowned. “Give it to me.”

“No,” she said simply and pulled the sword closer to herself.

“Always trying to be the hero, Emblyn. I should have guessed.” Morgana's eyes flashed gold and suddenly she could not move. “It doesn't matter, you are no match to me. It is even more fun this way.”

She took a perfectly manicured finger and trailed it along Emblyn’s jaw. Then she grabbed the sword out of Emblyn’s hold without any resistance.

“You have been of great help. Maybe I will let you live to watch everything you hold dear be taken away from you.” She smirked again and this time Emblyn recognized it.

Without any warning the hold Morgana had over her disappeared and Emblyn fell to the ground. She quickly sprung to her feet only to see the spot where Morgana had been seconds ago completely empty. And so was any hope she had left.

Emblyn fell to the ground and burst into tears. "What have I done?" 

She sat there with her face in her hands when a splashing sound came from the lake. She looked up and through the tears saw a figure emerging from the water. When it came closer, Emblyn saw that it was a young man not much older than herself. He wore shining armour and a red cloak with a familiar crest on it. She couldn't quite put her finger on why the crest was familiar, only that she had to have seen it before. The young man seemed not to have seen her but when he reached the small beach he met her questioning eyes.

 He came closer smiling warily as she dried her tears. "Hi, I'm Arthur Pendragon." 

It was like a wave had hit her straight in the face. Suddenly all the memories came rushing back to her. 

With the last memory came an indescribable anger and it was out before she could stop herself. "You sentenced me to die! You gave me to the fire without a second thought! How could you?! How could you do that, and to Merlin of all people?! How could you?!" 

Arthur seemed nonplussed for a few seconds. He looked her up and down as if trying to remember if he had seen her before. His eyes fell when he realized who she was. "Emblyn? That's why Merlin was so angry with me afterwards. He wouldn't speak to me for weeks." 

Emblyn stood up and narrowed his eyes at him. "Why wouldn't he be angry with you?! You sentenced his own sister to death for what shouldn't even be considered a crime!" 

Arthur shook his head "Sister? Merlin doesn't have a sister. I would have known." 

Emblyn felt the tears start streaming down her cheeks again. "Merlin had lots of secrets from you Arthur, he wanted to protect you. I'm not surprised that he didn't tell you about me. Considering your view of magic that is." 

Arthur took a step back, as if her words had struck him like a physical blow. He opened his mouth but closed it again. 

Emblyn continued. “He was so alone, had no one to trust and now..” Images flashed before her eyes of Merlin smiling, Merlin staring at her with a look she hadn’t been able to understand before but now she thought she did. 

“So alone...”, she repeated. She quietly did the math in her head. 1500 years of no one to understand him, 1500 years of struggle, of waiting, of loneliness, of sorrow. Softly she vowed to herself that she would never let him be alone again, she would never fail him.

But she already had hadn't she? She had told the woman where Merlin was. “Morgana'', she realized with a shrug. Though she didn’t realise that she had said it outloud until Arthur’s head snapped up. 

“Morgana?” he said with a puzzled look. “What does she have to do with this?” Now it was Emblyns turn to look horrified. “She is the reason I’m here, and if I’m right, the reason you are here too.” Arthur looked more alarmed at every word. All other things forgotten at the mention of Morgana.

 “Emblyn” Arthur looked at her face trying to figure out what she was talking about. He seemed to realize something, or rather the lack of someone. “Merlin would never miss something so important as this. Where is Merlin, Emblyn?”

Emblyn’s eyes widened and her breath quickened. “I-I don’t know... “

Before they could do anything else they were interrupted by a dark-haired figure stumbling out of the bushes.

Relief flooded through her. “Me..” she stopped herself. The figure was too short to be her brother and his eyes were green, not the stunning blue she was used to.

She did not recognize the man but Arthur fixated him with a murderous look. “Please, listen. I know where Merlin is.” the green eyed man said.

“And why should we trust you, Mordred.” The name was uttered with so much venom that Emblyn had to ask “Who are you?”

Mordred opened his mouth but before he could say anything Arthur answered “This man is a murderer and a traitor. I died at his hand, Guenivere was widowed because of this man.” He took a deep breath and addressed Mordred again. “Why are you here? What have you done to Merlin?”

“Nothing!”

“I don’t believe you. Why should I believe you after all you have done?”

Mordred’s eyes were still fixated at the ground but now his head snapped up. He looked at Arthur, regret and hope in his gaze.

“Because I know the truth now. I know that Kara chose death, I was wrong about her. I was blinded by my love for her and hatred.” A tear could be seen in the corner of his eye. “I was wrong, Morgana was wrong. I see that now. But it is too late. I betrayed you. I killed you. There is nothing I could do to make that right. But I can do this.”

He paused.

“I can help you save Merlin.”

There was a splash from the lake and all their heads turned that way. Nothing could be seen however so Arthur turned back to Mordred.

“Okay,” he said softly. “You can help us. It isn’t like we have a choice anyway.”

“So Morgana has him?” Emblyn asked. 

He nodded. “She has been planning this for a while and she brought me back to help. But she is wrong. Nothing good will come from killing Emrys.” The last two words left a thick silence in their wake.

Emblyn fell to her knees, tears freely streaming down her face. “I gave her the sword. I basically signed his death warrant.” The king lowered himself to her level and put his hand on her shoulder.

“We will get him back.” The sheer conviction in his voice made her look up through her tears.

“How? Merlin is the only one powerful enough to defeat her. We can’t do it on our own. We would need an army!” The last sentence echoed over the silent lake.

“And where would we find that?” Arthur seemed to have lost some of his conviction. 

Mordred looked away. “An army...” he breathed slowly. A breeze ruffled his hair and a louder splash could once again be heard from the lake.

This time they all looked at the surface of the water as a head appeared. A man in full chainmail appeared, a mighty sword at his side. His brown hair reached his shoulders and a tender smile, somehow out of character, graced his lips.

The peaceful reunion was broken however when Gwaine caught sight of Mordred.

“You. You!” He bellowed while he drew his sword. “Step away from them.” This time his voice was deadly calm.

Emblyn stepped in front of the green eyed man. “You can’t kill him. He is our only key to Merlin.”

Gwaine stepped out of the water and was about to say something more when another voice could be heard over the water. “What is wrong with Merlin?” Gwaine stopped staring murderously at Mordred and turned to hug his long lost brother in arms. 

“It is good to see you Lance.”

Four more heads appeared. All three men were in chainmail but a dark haired woman, who had a strong resemblance to Sam, was in a stunning red dress. All of them looked like they were in their mid twenties, not a day older then when she had last seen them.

Gwen was the first one to reach the shore and she embraced first Emblyn and then Arthur tightly. Gwaine embraced the other knights and there were a lot of laughs and even tears, but the knights would later deny it. 

The once mighty queen looked around in the faces of her closest friends and noted with terror the absence of one servant turned court sorcerer. And her best friend.

“Where is he?” The cheery atmosphere was gone in an instant when the knights looked around and could not see a goofy smile on their raven-haired friend.

“Morgana.” Arthur answered.

“I will kill her too.” Gwaine said with a low voice, once again glaring daggers at Mordred. 

_______________________

Why hadn’t he realized how it was all connected earlier? There was only one person with this sort of power that could ruin so much that was dear to him. Now his sister was in danger and it was all his fault. Thoughts whirled and twisted around each other as Merlin ran deeper into the forest. It was hard to separate the panic thinking to make sense of it. But two names were entwined in everything. The very core of the reason Merlin felt like he was in a free fall with nothing to hold on to. Emblyn. Morgana. He had been too slow to understand, it was too late.

The free fall had started the moment Adalyn had read the letter, when he had understood. He had felt a bit bad, leaving his friends, but they could get hurt and he could use his magic freely if they weren't there.

Morgana. A rage filled him like nothing before and he heaved a huge fallen tree out of the way with a flick of his hand so he could run straight. His magic coursed through his veins, picking up on his mood. He pulled so much magic up from deep within him that he doubted the sheer amount of magic ever had been seen on earth before and never will be again. The air around him was filled with energy.

Anyone who dared cross him would be sorry about it.

After what felt like an eternity he reached his destination and stopped. The cave looked the same as it had at Christmas. Not just any cave, Merlin reminded himself, Morgana’s cave. They had to be here.

When he entered a cool breeze that came from the cave opening and he shuddered. This was a place of dark magic. 

He picked up a fallen lodge and used his magic to light it. With help of the torch he looked around before he took a deep breath and continued deeper into the darkness. 

There was no one there. That unsettled him. He had silently walked past the big open space where he had barely escaped the rockfall, which he now understood was Morgana’s work.

Where were they? Every passing second was one second during which he could lose everything to the witch, as he had done once before.

Merlin continued walking deeper and deeper into the cave until he reached a room, bigger than any of the previous. Things lay scattered all over it. He looked around. Dread filled his stomach when he noticed a sword. One with a piece missing. He crouched down in front of it and pulled it into his lap. Tears fell silently at the still sharp edge. Instead he only saw the ghost of the ruby red blood of his best friend staining the shining metal.

If he hadn’t been occupied with the sword and old memories maybe he could have seen her in time. Maybe he could have ended it once and for all with the sword he was holding in his hand. But he didn’t. He could only feel the ground be pulled away under his feet, a sharp pain at the front of his head and then nothing.

_____________________________

He did not know how long he was unconscious. But he certainly knew that coming back to the land of the living was not a pleasant experience. What awaited him there was even worse.

His head was hurting as were his hands because they were tied behind him. Thick blood ran down the side of his face, from a wound at the left side of his brow, where he had hit the wall. He opened his eyes to a smirking Morgana that leaned over him, pleased that she had her greatest enemy at her feet. 

They were still in the same cave as before but Morgana seemed to have removed all the objects except a sword that had definitely not been there earlier. With a gasp he recognized it. Excalibur. The only sword that could kill him. How had she retrieved it from the lake? He had made sure only he could pick it up from the depths of the lake of Avalon. Embyn! Emblyn could probably retrieve it too. The realization hit him like a tidal wave. That was why she had taken her! The good news was that it could mean she was still alive. The bad news was that Morgana meant to kill him.

Morgana noticed that he was awake. “Hello again Emrys.” She practically purred.”It was a long time ago.”

“Whatever your plan is, you won’t succeed.” He told her.”You can't kill me, I am stronger than you ever were and I have had millenia to practice my magic. You do not stand a chance.”

She just grinned wider. “That’s where you are wrong, my dear Merlin. Look around your throat.” 

He did, dreading what he might find. At first he did not recognize the small green stone that hung in a chain around his neck. Then he felt for his magic. It was simply gone, a big void where it once had roamed. That’s when he recognized it. He had only once before felt so powerless. It was the same kind of stone that the ones that captured him and Emblyn the first time had used.

Morgana laughed madly when he began trashing against the ropes, trying to get free. To get away. 

“Not so mighty now without your magic.” She used her magic to not-so-carefully pin him upright against the wall.

Now he understood why she had waited so long to act. She had needed the sword to kill him and the stone to capture him.

If she was going to kill him he did not want to spend his last moments cowardly and quietly slouching against a cave wall. He had done too much, lived through too much to deserve that. So he held his head high, despite the blood now running freely down his cheek, and looked her in the eyes.

“Do you not have the courage and strength to face me Morgana? You attacked me from behind and suppressed my magic. That is the work of a coward.”

Morgana’s magic pressed him harder against the wall, making it difficult to breathe. “You would know all about that, right Merlin?” She spat out his name.”Hiding in the shadows from your best friend. It must have been lonely.” The last sentence was not uttered with sympathy.

“At least I did not turn against him! You once burned so bright and were full of goodness. When did it all turn to darkness?”

Morgana looked away. Merlin figured this was not doing him any favours because it seemed to make her angrier. He did not care.

“My own kin betrayed me. My friends and family loathed my very existence.” She was looking at him again. The passion and determination he once had envied now turned against him. 

She went to pick up the sword. It’s edge gleamed in the light of the torch. Strangely enough he was not scared.

“We were once the same. I am sorry it all came to this.” 

With that he left all the resentment he had for her go. All the anger and pity. He did not want to die full of anger. He wanted to die as he had lived. Taking each day as a challenge. Seeing the beautiful in the world and people. Long ago he had learned that that was the only way to have the strength to live another day. He just hoped Emblyn could forgive him.

His long lost friend raised the sword.

“I have waited for this for so long. Goodbye Emrys.”

Merlin saw Excalibur shine in the light as it moved. The sword sank into his abdomen. A white hot pain like he never felt before cursed through his body. Hot blood poured all over his shirt.

He fell into oblivion. 

Chapter Text

They will bring you down

But weakness makes them win

You have to realize

You're stronger than you think

Cause once that you've seen

What's on the other side

You have to believe

You can win this fight

-Human by Oscar Zia

Emblyn looked at Mordred "What are you waiting for? You said that you know where he is. You have to tell us, now!" The Knights were glaring daggers at Mordred and Gwaine still had his hand on the hilt of his sword.

Mordred nodded "They are in the cave. You know, the one close to the school." 

Emblyn's eyes widened, "That's bad!" She said "It's too far away to get there on foot but I could try to apparate us there." 

The others looked questioningly at her. "It's a transportation spell." She explained quickly "But I don't think I can take everyone at the same time. Split into groups of three, that'll be easier." 

They quickly did as she said and then Emblyn transported first Gwaine, Percival and Leon, then Elyan, Lancelot and Mordred followed by Arthur and Gwen. She took them to a small clearing about half a kilometre away from the cave as a precaution and they split up into smaller groups to avoid raising suspicions. 

When Emblyn, Arthur and Gwen made their way out onto the path there came a rustling of leaves from behind. Arthur drew his sword and stood in front of his companions.

 "Show yourselves!" He demanded. 

Four seventeen year olds stepped out from the bushes, their wands raised. Emblyn gasped and pushed Arthur aside "It's okay, I know them, they're with us." She said, walking forward to greet her friends. The teenagers immediately sighed in relief as they recognised her too. 

Adalyn threw her arms around her in a fierce hug "I thought you were dead." She breathed. 

Emblyn smiled, "It takes more than that to kill me." 

They met up with the others by the entrance to the cave and Emblyn once again had to step in front of her friends. "Stop it Gwaine, they're with us." She groaned, giving him a facepalm. 

Gwaine sighed “Fine.” but he still kept his hand on the hilt of his sword. The other knights chuckled and they made their way into the cave. After passing the blocked tunnel the group stopped and decided, with many ifs and buts, that Emblyn, Mordred and Arthur would go in first. The others would wait outside until they were needed.

________________________

The first thing Emblyn saw when she entered the cave room was Merlin's lifeless body slumped against the wall opposite them. Crimson blood stained his shirt from a wound in his abdomen and pooled beneath him. On the floor beside him lay a sword that Emblyn immediately recognised as Excalibur, it's tip was covered in blood. 

Morgana stepped out from the shadows where she had been waiting for them "It's too late!" She practically purred with enjoyment "Emrys is dead." 

"No!" To everyone's surprise it was Mordred who spoke first. "Morgana you have to stop, nothing good will come with the death of Emrys." 

He shook his head slowly "We were wrong." 

Morgana's eyes flashed with anger. "No!" She hissed "You should have stayed by my side Mordred. Choosing Arthur is your doom!" 

Her eyes burned with gold and she flung Mordred across the room. He collided with the wall with an ominous crash falling to the ground on the verge of consciousness. Emblyn rushed over to his side leaving Arthur open to any future blow. But Arthur stood his ground. 

He spoke slowly "You don't have to do this Morgana, you don't understand." 

Morgana laughed, "You think I don't understand? Oh dear brother, I understand much more than you think. Your beloved Knights are in this very moment fighting an undead army of mine. They won't be able to hold out for long. And Emrys won't be there to save them, as you know."

Arthur's eyes flashed with anger too. "You will never win Morgana!" He threw himself past her and to Merlin's side, picking up Excalibur. "I don't think so!" 

Morgana laughed again and used her magic to pin Arthur against the wall. "Emblyn!" He wheezed barely audible due to Morgana's grip on his neck.

Emblyn lept from her position next to Mordred and instinctively drew on her magic. 

"Let him go!" She practically growled, but she didn't give her any chance to react. Emblyn overpowered Morgana's grip on Arthur and threw her through the cave. She hit the wall with a thud. 

"Oh no you don't!" She roared. Morgana threw herself to her feet ready to strike, but Arthur was faster. Mordred, who had regained consciousness, threw Excalibur to him and before Morgana could react he raised it above his head and pierced her heart. 

She fell to the ground gasping and pressing her hands to her chest as Arthur pulled back and fastened the sword in his belt keeping his hand on its hilt. 

Morgana smiled sadly. “It's too late. Magic will reign and you will bow to those with the gift.” She winced in pain “Merlin is dead, there is no one to save you. My mission is finished. Good luck!” With that she took a last shuddering breath and it plumed like smoke from her lips.

 Arthur crouched beside her and reached out to close her now unseeing eyes. “Goodbye dear sister.” No one acknowledged the tear that fell down his cheek and Arthur would later firmly claim that he was only happy that the threat was finally gone and that he didn't cry because of his sister's death. Everyone knew that this was a lie and that he only said so because he couldn't bear talking about the goodhearted woman whose heart was corrupted with the darkness of power. 

They stood around Morgana's body for a while before Emblyn realized that Merlin was still unconscious, still slumped against the wall. She turned around only to see Mordred sitting beside her brother, trying in vain to heal him with his magic. She rushed over to his side and placed her hand on the young man's rib cage. 

She could feel his heart beating unrhythmically, slower and slower, his magic desperately trying to heal him by winding its way tightly around his heart, protecting it from what was to come. She let her own magic pulse freely through her hand into his body, helping him heal. 

“Live!” she said “You have to live! Be strong dear brother, be strong!” She felt some of the darkness that was killing him ever so slowly, lift with a gust of wind. 

His eyes fluttered open, “Emblyn!” His voice was weak but it was enough. She smiled at him “Merlin!” That goofy smile that he always wore filled his face but then a blood curdling scream echoed through the cave. Merlin pushed away from the wall, rose to his feet and hurried away through the tunnel. 

His wound was still bleeding, leaving a trail of red spots after him.

_________________________

He had come. His golden king with a kingdom of ruins. He wanted to do so many things with him, travel the world, show him all he had done and finally say his long overdue apology. 

But Merlin knew that he was dying. As if on cue he doubled over in pain. Just a few more steps. One, two, breath, more pain flooded over him. Just a few more steps. Just a few more so he can save his friends before he leaves this world forever. 

If anyone had asked him a few years ago this would have been a blessing. Dying to save his friends and finally be at peace. But now he mourned the time he could have spent with his king, his queen, his sister and long lost knights. If it was one thing he had learned during the centuries it is that nothing ever goes the way he had planned and that fate is cruel. 

They had returned just to watch him die. Another wave of pain coursed through his body, almost sending him sprawling to the cold ground. 

Just a few more steps...

_________________________

Gwaine knew they were losing and badly so. Nothing they did to the black creatures even harmed them in any way. It was like one of the immortal armies they had fought back in Camelot and Gwaine had a strong suspicion that only old magic could kill them. Unfortunately all their sorcerers were off fighting Morgana, if not already dead. Though he tried not to think about that because if he did he would have nothing left to fight for, nothing left to give and his doom would be inevitable. 

He also knew that he was going to die. Nothing short of a miracle could save them now. Almost black blood dropped from a wound across his collarbone and he also had a jack in calf that made him limp. 

At least he was better off than most of his friends. Elyan was only semi-conscious and lay splattered across the rocks in the back of the cave, Gwen standing before him defending him from the creatures. The once-queen did really well in the fight but Gwaine had almost always suspected that she would. She was the daughter of a blacksmith after all and when her friends were in danger she burned with a fury capable of ending worlds.

Leon and Percival fought back to back surrounded by four creatures and both of them panted heavily. Only two of the young witches and wizards were able to stand and they were positioned in front of the other two, hindering any creatures from coming too close to them.

Lancelot was perhaps the most efficient of the group, despite having a nasty looking cut along his side. But he was also overpowered. They had driven him towards a wall and three were now surrounding him and waiting for an opening to kill him. 

Yes, only a miracle could save them now. They could not hold out many more minutes. But maybe this second chance had been a blessing after all. Even if it had been really short, because if Gwaine were going to die he prefered doing it fighting for his friends rather than broken, hurt and feeling as if he had failed them. Now he knew he had done his absolute best. Even if it had not been enough.

His sword flew, with a sudden attack from the wraith, out of his hand and he found himself with a blade pointing directly at his heart. So this was it then. He let out a quiet laugh. This was it.

The wraith raised the sword, ready to strike. He closed his eyes and waited for it, a hint of a smile playing at his lips. But the strike never came.

When he opened his eyes he could see what, or rather who, had stopped the attack. His raven-haired friend stood in the opening to the corridor that led to the other cave. Alive, not dead. Relief flooded through him.

Merlin raised his hands, eyes glowing the most intense shade of gold he had ever seen, and tendrils of golden lights emitting from his palmes. The gold pulsated with power and filled the room. When it reached the black creatures they shrieked and tried to fight it. But light always shines through the darkness so it was all in vain. In their wake they left nothing more than black ashes in the air, a morbid replacement for the stars.

A miracle indeed. “Merlin, mate, you’re okay!” He rushed forward to the warlock. If he had looked closely he would have seen that Merlin was leaning heavily against the wall and was white as a ghost. Though, he did not. He hugged him tightly, all the worry about his friend slipping away while repeating that he was okay in his head.

____________________

Merlin knew he was going to die soon. He had wanted just to tell them how much he loved all of them, he just couldn’t form any words in his blood filled mouth. But Merlin had gotten to see his king before the end. 

That was enough.

___________________

Emblyn, Arthur and Mordred came hurrying out of the tunnel a few minutes later, they stopped abruptly taking in the scene in front of them. The ground was covered in black dust and Gwaine stood, practically carrying all of Merlin's weight, bleeding from several cuts. 

Charlie sat against the stonewall breathing raggedly and Sam was unconscious beside her, Adalyn and Hugo struggled to help them using every healing spell they knew. The other Knights were looking after each other but they weren't doing very well. 

"Mordred, can you help the Knights? I will make sure the others are okay and then we will help Merlin. We need everyone else to be safe before we do that." Emblyn's voice trembled a little but if Mordred noticed that he didn't say anything. 

She hurried over to her friends "Are you okay?" 

The panic was clearly visible in Hugo's eyes. "I think Adalyn has Charlie under control but Sam wont wake up. One of the dark things scraped her with their sword and she fell to the ground. I've protected her from further blows but now she won't wake up." 

Emblyn placed her hand on Sam's forehead, she was cold as ice. She could feel the darkness coming in waves and it gave her chills down her spine.

 "I think I can help her." She said "Hold her hand, she needs to feel your presence." 

The hand on Sam's forehead vibrated slightly as she spoke but she took a deep breath to steady herself. "Liss forðcuman toward hearra swâðêah giefan and hiere of hê môd. Cweðan hiera of hê ellen." 

Sam's eyelids fluttered open and she met Hugos gaze. Hugo collapsed in relief, his grip on Sam's hand loosening. He sat there for a moment before scooping Sam into his arms. 

“Is it okay if I take her outside for fresh air?” he asked. 

Emblyn shook her head, “It's better for you to stay here. I have to check on the knights and then there's… Merlin!” 

She ran over to the knights and after seeing that Mordred had done a good job patching them up, continued to Merlin's side. Arthur and Gwaine were kneeling beside Merlins' again lifeless body. 

“No!” Gwaine shook his head “It's too late.” Emblyn couldn't keep it together anymore. 

“NO!” she fell to her knees, tears streaming down her face. Through her tears she saw that Arthur too was crying openly, his tears falling down onto Merlin's chest leaving wet splotches on his shirt. Merlin's breathing was ragged and pained and Emblyn could feel his heartbeat slowing. 

Then Arthur spoke, “You were the bravest man I ever met. You saved my life countless times, you stood by my side in the most difficult of situations. You were prepared to give your own life to save mine and you never got any credit. I think I knew it back then but I didn't understand it until now. I knew about your magic. I just purposefully turned a blind eye to it, just as I did with my feelings. I'm sorry that I never got a chance to tell you this and I say it now with hope that you might hear it before I lose you. I love you.” 

Emblyn slapped her hands to her mouth as Arthur took Merlins hand, holding it tightly in his own. 

The two halves finally became a whole but it seemed to be too late. Merlin was white as a sheet and Emblyn felt his magic slowly dying. Arthur smiled sadly, the hand in his growing colder with each breath passing Merlin's bluish lips. 

The boy shuddered a little “I'm cold Arthur. I don't want to die.” His voice was small and pained which was mirrored in his now deep blue eyes. Arthur carefully lifted Merlin's body onto his lap and Merlin winced in pain as Arthur held him. 

“It's okay.” Arthur took his hand again. “I will hold you, it's okay.” Merlin shuddered again and closed his eyes as Arthur hugged him tightly whispering the words over and over, almost as a chant. 

Emblyn placed her hand on her brother's forehead as she sobbed quietly, “I can't lose you. Not now.” 

Merlin opened his eyes again and they glowed golden for a second before a last breath escaped his lips. His body stilled in Arthur's arms and Emblyn felt his cold skin against her warm hand. 

____________________

A pair of astonishing turquoise eyes and a pair of green ones had been looking down at him. They weren’t anymore. Or maybe he just wasn’t looking at the right place. No, his eyes were closed. That must be it.

Merlin tried to open them again. Just one more look at the eyes he had longed for all these years. He couldn’t, it hurt too much. He felt warm blood, his blood, against his arms. The once immortal warlock lay there for what felt like an eternity, and he knew all about those.

When the pain was so great that he felt like he couldn't take it, he tried one last time to open his eyes. It was in vain because at that moment it stopped hurting and Merlin slipped away, his last thought about the way the sun would hit Arthur’s golden hair once he excited the cave. How he had longed to see that. It was almost as if he could feel the welcoming warmth of Arthur’s strong arm slung across his shoulders as he laughed about something Merlin had said. 

In this dark place a faint smile touched his lips. He was not afraid. Not with his friends there, guarding him as he had done for them in another place at another time and every day since then.

No, he was not afraid at all.

___________________

The knights wept silently and it felt like they sat there for an eternity, waiting, almost in vain, for something to happen. 

Then Emblyn felt Merlin's magic rear up and pulsate through the air. It was as if it tried, one last time, to heal its bearer. And because Merlin was magic itself and magic itself never dies, he was freed from his burden. With this last attempt all Merlin's magic centered around the darkness that stopped his heart from beating and destroyed it. It took all of his power, but as they say light always conquers the dark and Merlin's heart was beating again, slowly growing stronger and stronger. The curse binding Merlin to the earth was broken and Merlin would never again have to be alone and never have to wait for those he loved. 

Emblyn took her brother's free hand and felt for a pulse. It should have been gone but the warmth was returning and she felt a rythmic thumping from his heart. His magic pulsated with the heartbeat coming in invisible waves and sending a warm glow through them all. 

Then his eyelids fluttered, open and closed and then open again. His blue eyes were filled with a deep golden swirl and the colour slowly returned to his lips. 

Emblyn smiled at him, her eyes glistening with tears “Merlin!” She squeezed his hand and pressed a kiss to his forehead as a small smile found its way onto Merlin's lips. That was all she needed and the tears streamed freely down her cheeks, he would be okay.

He would be okay.

Chapter Text

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

- A thousand years by Christina Perri 

Barely a week later, during the day that later has been known as ‘the day of the three disgustingly cute couples’, they were all going to visit Merlin's home for the first time. The only place that had felt like a home since Camelot while he was waiting for Arthur, his cottage at the shore of Avalon. 

He had built the cottage after returning from a war started by Lord Somethingorother. It wasn’t the first time he had been in a war but something had been different about this one. Well, not the story, Lord Cannotremeberhisname had been unsatisfied with his power in society and he had declared war, not unlike many other wars he had endured. It hadn’t been a fair fight, Lord Whoever’s troops had plowed through the civilization, killing anyone they came across. It was bloody and horrible and sometimes he could still hear the screams. Eventually someone defeated Lord Whoevencares. But Merlin had finally decided that he had had enough of humans and that humanity could protect themselves from Lords WhydoIbother for a while. So he returned to the lake of Avalon and built his cottage which he now considered his home.

A pregnant silence lay heavily around the group. No one wanted to be the first one to talk and because they were all adults, some more than others, they dealt with it very maturely. Hence the silence and angry glares.

The problem was that they hadn't really gotten the chance to talk at all after the battle and Merlin's whole ‘dying and then coming back to life, TWICE’ experience. The last week was a big blur and he was trying to make out the details to ignore the pain in his lower abdomen. Arthur had told him that they had found him and Morgana in the cave, that Mordred had saved them and they had defeated the witch. Nobody knew for certain how Merlin had survived the stab but Emblyn told him about the sensation that had passed through her when he stopped breathing and he suspected that something had happened to his magic. 

Emblyn had told him that Madam Pomfrey had nearly died from a heart attack when they had arrived at the gate of Hogwarts with a half-dead Merlin for the second time that year with a bunch of guys in chainmail trailing behind. Though, he could not even fathom what kind of excuse she had come up with to satisfy Madam Pomfrey's questions. He knew for a fact that it was not the truth because there were no people running around in panic or school buildings on fire (which had only happened once before, thank you very much Arthur) so he figured he was safe.

This was the first day he had been able to walk and they all needed somewhere to talk in private. Everyone had been busy tending to the wounded and no one had really gotten the chance to process all the new information (mainly concerning the Hogwarts students) or getting used to being alive (this one mainly concerning the knights).

The Hogwarts students took turns apparating the knights, the queen and Merlin. It would have been much faster if Merlin just had transported them all but his magic was still unstable after it had healed him. He hoped it wasn’t permanent.

Merlin and Arthur were the last ones to get apparated so they stood by  the edge of the forbidden forest. The warlock was still very pale and leaned heavily against Arthur who supported him with a hand behind his back.

______________________

When they arrived at the lake of Avalon Merlin, with Arthur's help, led the way. Merlin stopped abruptly when they came to the shore of the lake. Arthur looked around and at first he couldn’t see what the others were looking at. Merlin swept his hand across the air and a cottage slowly materialized, as out of thin air. Well, cottage wasn’t really the right word but it was all he could come up with to describe the small house. The walls were built from stones and covered with hanging ivy. The green plant covered almost all of the the treecoloured roof. 

When they walked to the other side of the house he caught a glimpse of the most beautiful garden he had ever seen. He suspected that it contained species from all over the world gathered during the centuries. Later he would find out that there were some of the last endangered herbes in the world and that his warlock had worked hard to replant them into nature. 

There was a small wooden door facing the lake at the far end of the house. They entered and Arthur had to hide a gasp when he saw all the amazing stuff that Merlin had gathered. Exquisite paintings, a large shell shimmering in all the colours of the rainbow, a weird instrument he needed to ask Merlin about later, a golden clock that showed something other than time, a bowl with radiant fishes, a sword with rubies at the hilt…

He could not stop looking. Everytime he turned he saw a new wonder, something new that spiked his interest. At last Leon had to drag him to the kitchen.

They sat down around the table in the kitchen and Merlin cleared his throat "I guess you deserve an explanation. I'll start from the beginning." He told them about everything that had happened in Camelot. About the prophecies, adventures and meeting the Knights.

When he told them about how he had met Lancelot the room suddenly became very quiet. Merlin could not understand why until Gwaine jumped up from the chair he was sitting in and stomped over to Lancelot, red in the face.

“YOU KNEW?!” Riiiiight, Merlin thought. That was why. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

If the situation hadn’t been so serious it would have looked quite funny, how Gwaine pouted and made puppy dog eyes at Merlin and Lancelot. But Merlin knew that Gwaine was desperate and hurt that he hadn’t told him.

Lancelot did not know what to say and kept glancing sideways at Merlin. “I’m sorry Gwaine.” The warlock began. “I wanted to tell you, I promise. It was not a thing I wanted more than to tell you all and be accepted for who I was.”

He glanced around the room at the solemn faces before he continued. “But I couldn’t. It would have just resulted in your lives becoming in danger, just as mine. I couldn’t be the cause of your death. Lancelot found out by accident and luck, I suppose, and when you guys came along I had gotten so used to hiding myself and keeping the secret that it was all I knew.”

All the eyes in the room were on him now. Gwaine’s and Arthur’s were the ones he focused on, the latters full of love and understanding. Gwaine’s were just sad and even worse: pitying. He did not want or deserve their pity, he who had betrayed them, lied to them for decades and been all they fought against living under their very roof.

But of course Arthur knew him well enough to sense his train of thoughts. Even after a millenia appart. “Merlin, don’t.” He said simply and Merlin knew that it was a promise and forgiveness, something he didn’t deserve but when he looked into his once king's eyes it made him believe that he was worthy of it, or at least someday would be.

Gwaine still looked like a lost puppy and the pouting lip was dangerously close to trembling. “Nevermind, guess I was not worthy to know such things.”

Lancelot laughed quietly and Leon, the-everlasting-patiently- Leon, snorted but tried to disguise as a sneeze, they all knew the roguish knight was just being overly dramatic.

“Gwaine…” Merlin began.

The knight threw a hand over his heart, successfully quieting Merlin, and shook his hair out of his eyes in what seemed to be in slow motion. He leaned forward and exclaimed outrageously. “Imagine how much fun we could have had! We missed out on a lot of good pranks.” Gwaine sat down on his chair and pouted even more, mourning the loss of a decade of magic infused pranks on his fellow knights and king.

Merlin broke down first and laughed loudly at the odd antics of his friend. God, how he had missed him. This did not, unfortunately, skip past Gwaine’s notice. “How dare you! I can clearly see that my company is not welcome. 1500 years and you still make fun of me!” 

Merlin raised an eyebrow that would have made Gaius proud. For the record, he had not spent a few hundred years to perfect that movement, after he had seen the effect his mentor’s eyebrow had had on the knights, just so he could use it to infuriate all of them who had not perfected that noble art. That would have been absolutely ridiculous, and not at all worthy of his time.

But seeing Gwaine’s expression had been totally worth it! (not that he was confessing to anything) “Wha...No...You can't! Arrghh!” Gwaine gave him an exasperated sigh and walked to the other side of the room and sat down in a corner. All attempts to talk to him or make him come back failed.

“He is a grown man.” Elyan began. “He is not…”

“Oooh, yes. He definitely is.” Percival confirmed amused. 

Merlin looked over at his sulking friends and continued telling the tale of his long long life with a tad more life and amusement in his voice.

He told them of how they'd fought together for the freedom of Camelot and faced hundreds of evil creatures. When he came to the part about the questing beast Arthur stood up with wet and glistening eyes. He walked until he stopped abruptly in front of Merlin, though he did not say anything. He just stood there and looked at him with wonder in his eyes. But Merlin knew what it was about, Arthur was outraged about how he had tried to sacrifice his life for his. The rage eventually turned into tears when he realized how close he had come to losing his best friend without even knowing it.

It took a while until Merlin got rid of the lump in his throat and the stunning image of his king’s eyes filled with tears for him, because of him and what he had endured. But when he did, the rest of the group sat quietly and listened about the monsters he had defeated and sorcerers he had overcome. Gwen had cried when he had mentioned that he was the one that had saved her father and thanked him, even if he thought he didn’t deserve any thanks especially since it had ended with him dying anyways and Gwen accused of sorcery. But his first real friend in Camelot had disagreed.

Otherwise they were all quiet and suspense filled the air because his friends finally got to hear the story they had longed for. That was until he began to talk about his time as Dragoon. At this point Gwaine had rejoined them, his need for the dramatic sulking overcome by his need to hear about his friends adventures and quests.

Elyan’s eyes widened when he told them of his disguise. “You… You are...It was you!”

Merlin nodded solemnly, hiding a grin. Gwaine’s face also lit up with understanding. “I do not have ale in my ears!” He protested. The warlock just continued looking at him and raised the eyebrow of doom. “Do not.” The knight's weak continuing protests didn’t help his case. Arthur laughed.

“Now listen here princess…” 

Merlin didn’t have the energy to continue to listen to that conversation so he instead turned to Hugo who clearly was trying to say something to him. The Hogwarts students had been unusually quiet during his tale.

“So that was where the history book got the whole ‘old man’ thing.” 

“Yes, I tried to stop it but then I figured that it was a good disguise in that way that if anyone considered me being alive they would look for a 70 year old man instead of a guy in his middle twenties.”

Adalyn nodded. “Smart.”

He scanned the faces of the people that had become his very close friends during the last year. “Are you guys okay? I know it is a lot.”

“We will be.” Charlie answered.

“Yeah.” Sam confirmed. “We are just dealing with the whole ‘holy shit he is really THE Merlin’.”

The Merlin just looked at her.

“I mean, what do I say to you guys?” Hugo asked. “Good morning, the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk. Nice weather right, king Arthur? Was it as nice in ancient Camelot?”

Adalyn nodded gravely. “Precisely. Life was really quiet before and now when I turn around I see a lot of mythological persons and role models in the wizarding world sitting around and talking. Or doing really weird stuff.”

She wrinkled her nose as she pointed to Gwaine who had found Merlin’s electrical toothbrush and was trying to figure out how it worked. When he accidentally pressed the right bottom and it began to vibrate he dropped it with horror. Then he ran quickly and hid behind Percival so the giant man shielded him from the toothbrush of nightmares while he swore. Merlin could only hear half of it and it was not something he never ever was getting out of his head. He really needed to clean his ears later.

“Bloody sorcery.” Arthur yelled when he saw the toothbrush. “No offence, Merlin.”

“None taken.” He was just really glad to have them back and he somehow believed Charlie’s words. Sure, they had some stuff to work through and difficulties to overcome but they would all be okay. Someday.

They gathered around him again. He was going to continue but Arthur spoke first. “What happened when my father died? Was it your intention to kill him? He persecuted so many of your kind and made your very existence illegal. Did you...You must have wanted him dead.”

It was so much raw emotion in Arthur’s eyes that he had trouble responding at first. “No. No, Arthur. I would never. I knew how much he meant to you and I could never hurt you.”

“What happened then?” Leon asked who was the knight who had known the dead king the longest.

“Morgana. She placed a charm over a necklace that made every healing spell have the opposite effect. I discovered it too late. I’m so sorry.”

Not for the first time that day Merlin looked at Arthur just to find his eyes wet. “It is okay. It is I who should be sorry. I should have known by now that you would never betray me or even hurt me.”

“Still, I am sorry I couldn’t help him.”

It was quiet for a while when everyone digested the fact that Morgana had killed her own father and blamed magic for it. 

Then Arthur’s face lit up. “This means I was right! I knew I recognized the eyes!” He sounded really proud of himself and victorious about being right.

Unfortunately, he did get the serenade he was hoping for. Instead Gwaine gave him a smug smile. “Awwww. That’s cute, princess.”

Lancelot nodded, playing along. “You recognized his eyes! Adorable.”

“No...That’s not..Why even?” The once king spluttered, red in the face.

Merlin laughed again. “You did break my pot.”

“Ugh! I forgot how much the old man annoyed me!” Arthur said. “Not to talk about the Dolma. She was so strange. Did you know her too, Merlin? Maybe you had treason-tea in her cottage once a month and chatted about how much of an ass your KING could be?”

This time it was Merlin’s turn to turn the same shade as a tomato. He mumbled something under his breath.

Mordred grinned. “I couldn’t hear you, Emrys. Speak up. Tell us about the fair Dolma.”

Ooh, no. No, no no. He so regretted telling Mordred about that. Maybe it was not too late to claim he was going to betray them and in that way kill him before he could reveal anything? There must at least be a law in the magical community about how to treat your elders. This was definitely treason against the laws of old magic or something, Merlin decided. Something like ‘one must not tell embarrassing secrets about a 1500 years old warlock to his undead friends or one shall be struck down where one stands’.  Yeah, that sounds reasonable. That must be it. But no lightning struck down Mordred in the wrath of the old religion. Oooh, bugger, Merlin was going to regret this.

Gwaine seemed to realize something was up. “What is it Mordred? What do you know? Tell us!”

Mordred winked at Emblyn who somehow during the day had gone from sitting beside Leon til sitting close to Mordred’s left side with a hand on his thigh. “Your brother needed to have a new disguise when he was going to save Guinevere with magic. He knew that he could not use Dragoon again because Arthur didn’t trust him sooo…” 

Merlin looked down at his feet feeling his cheeks burn bright red. Gwen looked at Merlin. “You…”

Arthur’s eyes lit up. “Oh god! It was you! This is nothing against me recognizing you.”

“Hold up, cabbage head. I have some compromising stories to tell about you. First the donkey ears...” He answered to try to distract the others. I didn’t work. 

Gwaine looked at Mordred, star struck. “You are my new favorite person. Why did we ever try to kill him? Tell. Us. Everything .”

Mordred smiled and happily obliged. Needless to say, it took a while before Merlin could continue his story. Mainly because every time he opened his mouth someone cut him off. (Some of his least favorite insults were: “Quiet, quiet, the fair Dolma is going to speak” or “No, don't stand up. I’m not sure your weak lady legs can take it”

 countered with “my weak lady hands can definitely punch you, Gwaine” or “Please Dolma. I have heard of your beauty many times. May I say you are even more stunning in person”.  They weren’t even imaginative or creative! He was certain they could do better.)

When he could continue he told them about how Mordred had been taken in by Morgana. He went into very little detail of the circumstances as he saw the pain of the memory passing over Mordred's face and continued instead to the game of dice in the tavern. Arthur's eyes widened, "You cheated!" Merlin smirked "Well I couldn't put anymore pride into that already pompous head of yours now, could I?" Arthur pouted as the other laughed.

 "It's not funny!" He said, giving Merlin a stern look. Merlin just shook his head as he spoke again, "Anyway, not long after that, Morgana sent me an unpleasant gift. She had managed to find out who I was and wanted to stop me from helping you win the battle at Camlann." 

He told them about how he had gotten attacked by the Gean Canach, after Mordred had betrayed them and told Morgana about his true identity, and lost his magic. Gwaine glared daggers at Mordred and the other Knights gave him dark looks but Merlin told them off and explained that Mordred had been furious with grief after losing someone very dear to him, after which he earned a very thankful look from Mordred himself. 

He then continued with explaining how he had been forced to leave Arthur on his own to regain his powers. "That's the thing I couldn't tell you about." He nodded to Gwaine "I couldn't let anything stop me. I hope you understand that." 

Gwaine smiled, "Of course, mate. We needed you with powers even though we didn't understand it." 

Merlin felt his own eyes going wet this time, "Thank you Gwaine. It means a lot to hear that." 

He hesitated when he came to the part about Arthur's death and only briefly explained how he had used the aging spell to disguise himself again, ordering Aithusa away and doing what he could to help in the battle. 

His voice broke as he saw the scene that had tormented his mind for so long in front of him again. There they were, Arthur and Mordred, face to face. Mordred raised his sword and rushed forward. The blade dug deep into the once and future king's belly and he took a step back. A breath later, his sword sat in Mordred's stomach and the two men fell exhausted to the ground. 

He cleared his throat and wiped his tears on his sleeve before he spoke again. "The battle of Camlann was, as I'm sure you all know, where Arthur lost his life. He died in my arms after I failed to bring him to the lake of Avalon. After staying by Gwen's side," he nodded to the once queen, "helping her as court sorcerer until her death, I spent the rest of my years waiting for Arthur to return.” 

Someday he would tell them all about his travels and discoveries. About the people he had met and the ones he had to watch die. He would tell them about the years spent alone, trying to work through his self pity, cursing at the world. The years he had not even left his house. But he would also tell them about the happy times, the people he had loved and the marvelous places he had visited. Someday he would tell them and they would listen with laughter and joy but also with tears and sorrow.

“I thought everything was lost until I had a dream. I'd had it before. It was about the day I lost Emblyn. I found out that Emblyn was at Hogwarts and I figured I could pretend to be an exchange student to get closer to her. That turned out to be in vain, she didn't even remember me. Then Morgana showed up and I think you know the rest of the story."

______________________

Later that night Merlin sat in a chair by the fireplace in his little cottage by the lake of Avalon. He was still weak and he shivered a little despite the heat from the fire and the blanket that Arthur insisted he wrap himself in. There was a dull pain in his lower abdomen that refused to go away but he did his best to ignore it. 

He cheered himself up by thinking about his sister and the Knights who were currently taking up all the space in his house. (They didn't have enough beds nor space so the Knights had to make room on the floor in the guest room. Emblyn had transfigured some old pieces of fabric into sleeping bags for them. Merlin had however, made a room for Emblyn, in case of her returning and needing somewhere to sleep, which she now shared with Gwen. The girls had magically been able to fit a second bed in the small room and at first the Knights had been pretty jealous.)

Laughter emerged from the kitchen as Arthur opened the door to the living room and quietly slipped out. He walked over to Merlin and sat down in a chair opposite him. Merlin noticed that the once and future king seemed flushed. He didn't meet Merlin's eyes and his hands trembled in his lap. "Uhm…" Arthur started and fell quiet again. He took a deep breath, "Do you remember much from the cave?" Merlin shook his head, “No, it's all a big blur. Why?” Arthur cleared his throat, his eyes not leaving his hands “Uhm…” 

“I-I still can't understand that you really are back.” Merlin said quietly, feeling a blush forming on his cheeks. Finally Arthur looked up at him. “What did you say?” Merlin felt the blush grow, “N-Nothing.” 

Arthurs expression softened “In the cave I thought you were going to die and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you.” He swallowed. Merlin waited in silence for Arthur to finish what he was going to say. “You can never do that to me again! You scared me half to death. You idiot!”

Merlin’s heart sank. He really thought they could be honest with each other this time and he knew that that was not what Arthur had been about to say. 

“You are a complete dollophead. But I will try.” They both knew it was an empty promise. A few beats of silence passed.

“No, no, no! We are…” He trailed off. Unsure about what to say. “That was not what I wanted to say.”

“I know.” Merlin answered silently.

 Arthur inhaled deeply. This took a different kind of bravery then facing opponents in battle. The kind of bravery he had not had before. “This time we do it right. I screwed up so much last time by not letting myself accept who I was, what I wanted. I think you knew. But I was too scared.”

“What?” Merlin had honestly no idea what he was talking about. He thought this was going to be a conversation about his magic. Now he was at loss. He stared at the door, not meeting Arthur’s eyes.

“Damn it Merlin! Look at me. I’m trying to tell you something important.” Merlin felt Arthurs warm and gentle hands grab his chin and softly jank his head to the right so he was looking at Arthur. A blush formed below his collar and crept up to his cheeks. 

The blue eyes were so close. Never before had he realized how many colours Arthur’s eyes consisted of. Now he could not stop looking and for every second his eyes lingered he noticed a new feature. The way the fire reflected in Arthur’s hair and made it glow a radiant gold. Or the way his lips seemed so soft and welcoming...

“I..” Arthur began. His gaze dropped to Merlin’s lips in a way Merlin found absolutely captivating.

Arthur seemed unable to continue so instead Merlin spoke up. “I didn’t just lose you that day, you know. I lost myself and I was lost for a long time. Now it feels like I’m finally home.” And he was not letting go of that feeling, the feeling of belonging and righteousness.

“Never again.” Arthur agreed as he grabbed Merlin’s shirt and pulled him close so their lips met.

It was not the perfect story book kiss. Most things aren’t. In reality it was kind of wet and a lot of tangling of limbs, mainly Merlin’s. But for them it didn’t matter. They put everything they never had said in that kiss, all the years of waiting melted away in the blink of an eye. Well, maybe it wasn’t a perfect storybook kiss but it meant so much more to the king and his warlock, who was home at last.

Arthur pulled away but stayed close to Merlin so their heads touched. The lack of oxygen had them panting. “What is it?” Merlin asked.

“I love you.” Arthur’s gentle breath kissed Merlin’s lips. He looked so desperate and his eyes were brimming with tears.“I am sorry that I left you and I’m sorry it took me this long to understand. You are the strongest man I have ever met. You faced the world alone for millennia. The grief, the sorrow, the fear and loneliness. I can’t even begin to fathom what you have gone through. And you didn’t let it change you. You saw the most ugly things in humanity and the world and you are still able to... to enjoy the sunshine, see the best in people and laugh. You are amazing and wonderful and I-I don’t deserve you.”

Merlin’s astonishing blue eyes met Arthur’s. “I waited for so long for you and if a comet hit the earth at this second and this was all the time we would get,” Merlin took a deep breath before he continued. “Then I would thank all the gods, who ignored me for centuries, that we got it and all the waiting would have been worth just these brief moments with you.”

When the haunted look in Arthur’s eyes lingered Merlin continued. “Don’t you get it? I love you too. There is no one else I would have waited 1 500 years for and I would wait for you another millenia if that meant that we could be together.”

The crackling fire made Arthur’s eyes sparkle and Merlin fought hard not to get lost in them. “You can kiss me now.” 

That was all encouragement Arthur needed.

_______________________

Gwen let the door slowly and smoothly open as she left the house. Inside Merlin’s cottage her friends were chatting merely in front of the warming fireplace, she could hear their voices that the wind carried through the open window. Emblyn’s bright and happy, Percival’s low but mighty and Elyan’s as familiar as the back of her own hand.

One was not with them though and after a few minutes of searching she found him sitting on a lodge at the far end of the woodshed. It was completely dark, the kind of dark you only get right before the dawn comes and bathes the newborn world in a golden light.

Luckily Gwen had a lantern, she wasn’t still fully comfortable with the modern technology, and she placed it next to her as she sat down beside him.

“We missed you, you know.” She didn’t need to ask why he was here. It was always the same problem, the same complication between them.

“You love him.” Lancelot turned to her, eyes shining with tears as the only light in the quiet night reflected in them. “Did you know that the legends claim that we run away together? That you left him heartbroken? I looked it up.” His voice turned angry. “It could not be further from the truth. I would never have stolen you away from him. Quite the contrary, I stepped away so you could be happy. And still history paints me as the thief and betrayer. I didn’t even get a chance to rest in peace after I sacrificed myself for you! I was used...disgraced, in the most unhonoury way imaginable. All because I...I loved you.”

Gwen was taken aback by the rage Lancelot used. It was so far from the Lancelot she knew. He was always the quiet one, the noble one, the one everyone relied on.

Even Lancelot was surprised by his outrage. “Gwen, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that. You must know that.”

It was quiet for a few moments. Then Gwen spoke up. “I loved him, Lancelot.”

“What?” 

“I LOVED him.” Her voice was not harsh, quite on the contrary.

Lancelot still looked confused so the queen continued. “I’m a different person than I was back then. I am different from the serving girl you knew. I was alive for more than 40 years after you passed away. I was in Avalon for a millenia.”

The only sound that could be heard was the burning of the lantern and wind that slowly caressed the trees.

“I ruled an empire. I legalized magic. I fought in wars to protect our legacy. I was a good queen. But I was not happy. I think I only remember one time I was really happy. Without the burden that being with Arthur came with.”

She looked at him then, really looked. Hoping he would take the hint. “And now I realize that I was not in love with Arthur, maybe at first but everything happened so quickly we never really got the chance. And I think he was always in love with someone else. No one knew because the concept was new to us. “

“It is clear now.” Lancelot said, thinking about his two friends who had finally found happiness. They deserved it and maybe, maybe he could find his own.

 Affection and mirth danced in her eyes, making them sparkle like starlight when reflected across a glistening pond. A stray lock of chocolate coloured hair swept across her cheek, caressing them just as his fingers longed to do.

“I don’t love him. I have always loved you.” She finished.

Lancelot leaned closer to Gwen as the first sun kissed the treetops. 

“I never once, even for a day, stopped loving you. I don’t think I am capable of stopping loving you.” He told her gently.

Their brows were almost touching. A couple of more centimeters and Gwen would find the home she always had looked for. Lancelot took the last step and kissed the woman he had fought for and finally died for.

The sun rose over the lake. The rays of sunshine played at the top of the small waves and turned the whole world golden. It hit the couple just as their lips touched, after all this time, as if even the sun celebrated their union.

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6 months later

Emblyn stood in the kitchen in the little cottage peeling potatoes, without magic this time, singing to herself as she worked. And if you only die once, I wanna die with you. If we only live once, I want to live with you...

Merlin came in through the back door. "This looks better!" He said cheerfully. "It looked like the potatoes had exploded when you tried using that peeling spell of yours." Emblyn smiled, "Yeah, it was chaotic." Merlin laughed, nodding in agreement. His laughter resounded in the small kitchen and soon they were standing there together laughing. It did not matter what they laughed at anymore, just that it was so wonderful to finally be able to do it. After what felt like an eternity Emblyn finally stopped laughing and brushed the tears away from her eyes. "Can you start cutting the carrots and the other vegetables?" She asked. "Yeah, sure." Merlin still smiled brightly as he picked up a knife and a cutting board. They fell silent for a while and then Emblyn started singing again. 

Emblyn had just finished with the potatoes and put a pot on the stove when Merlin hissed loudly. "I cut my finger." He said disappointedly. Emblyn smiled at him, sadness present in her eyes. "It doesn't matter, does it? You'll heal anyway." "Yeah, I guess you're…" He cut himself off and stared at his finger. He held it up in front of him and watched a small trickle of blood make its way down to his palm. "Emblyn look!" He said, holding the finger for her to see. "You're bleeding." She frowned "Does this mean…?" "I guess so. It must have happened when Morgana stabbed me." Emblyn nodded then threw her arms around him. "Oh Merlin!" Merlin gently patted her hair "Don't worry, it's okay." Emblyn shook her head. "No, it's not. I don't want to lose you again."

Despite the solemn atmosphere in the room a small and tender smile could be seen playing on Merlin's lips. Because after all these years he had a shot at something he always wanted. A life with people he loved and a happy ending. A chance at peace, at last. His wait was over. His life laid ahead.

____________________

Voices and laughter found their way in through the cottage door that stood ajar. Their friends were playing around with each other as they prepared the tables for dinner. Plates and cutlery whizzed through the air and Emblyn saw Adalyn laughing through the window. “We better hurry up before they destroy everything!” she laughed, smiling at Merlin. He nodded, “Put the potatoes in the pot, I will finish this.”

A little while later Emblyn and Merlin brought the pot out to the table. Merlin walked over and sat down next to Arthur as Emblyn started walking around the table serving everyone. Soon they were all eating and talking happily with each other, butterflies playing around them in the evening sun. Mordred smiled at Emblyn, “You've really outdone yourself this time, Love.” Emblyn shrugged, “I don't know about that. It's just some food.” Mordred scooted closer to her and placed his arm around her shoulders. “Not for me it isn't!” He laughed and gave her a small kiss on the cheek. Emblyn smiled, feeling the blush creeping up her face.

When they were done eating and talking and everyone was a little drunk, Emblyn suggested they go down to the lake and take a swim. The air was still warm from the sunny day and the stars had not yet started to appear in the sky so everyone thought that that was an excellent idea. 

Percival and Gwaine were the first ones into the water already racing each other to the middle of the lake and back. Mordred and Emblyn stood at the side of the beach , picking shells. Merlin was about to head over to them when two strong hands gripped his shoulders and pushed him off the rock he was standing on and into the lukewarm water. 

He broke through the surface and shook the water out of his hair giving the impression of a wet dog. Adalyn laughed. Arthur stood before her at the place Merlin had just left and grinned smugly at him. 

And because Merlin would never let Arthur get away with tha t he raised a hand and the wide-eyed king flew into the lake when the warlock’s eyes glowed golden. The splash was big enough to reach the others and they laughed loudly when Arthur emerged from under the water, spitting water out of his mouth. But Merlin’s eyes were bright as stars when they met the eyes of his friend and destiny over the small waves. He swam forward to Arthur and they met halfways out in the lake where Merlin had waited for him all these years.

Arthur smiled mischievously as he planted a kiss on his warlock’s lips and shoved him down under the surface once again .

Chapter Text

And I miss the way you make me feel, and it's real

When we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

- Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran

It was a beautiful summer day. The sun shone brightly from a blue sky and the birds sang in the trees. By the shore of the lake of Avalon stood a little cottage. The windows were open to let the breeze inside and the laundry fluttered on the clothesline. Emblyn opened the door to the cottage and stepped outside. She held a beautiful bouquet of flowers in her hands and her cheeks glistened with tears. Arthur came after her. He had casual clothing instead of his armour but wore his cloak despite the hot day. 

Emblyn took Arthur's hand in hers. She smiled sadly. "Come."

Together they walked down to where the trees met the lake. There was a beautiful white stone standing there surrounded by colourful flowers. On top of the stone was a small dragon that Emblyn had made and placed there. Written on the stone in golden letters was a well known name, Merlin Emrys Ambrosius. Emblyn kneeled in front of the grave picking up the dead flowers and putting the fresh in an empty vase by the stone.

Her smile faltered as she spoke. "I miss him every day."

Arthur placed his hand on her shoulder. "So do I, but he's finally at peace now."

Emblyn nodded and a tear fell down her cheek. "Yeah, he waited 1500 years for us. We can wait ten for him."

The End (for now)