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Chapter Text

Sam was only aware of his hands dragging at his face when the pull against his cheeks began to dry out his eyes. He hadn't even known that dry eyes was possible on the Grid. "Wait. Say it. About what happened."

"I've already said - "

"I know. I don't care. Give it to me again."

Kevin dutifully repeated, "There were mice." There must be something to practicing Zen for a thousand cycles - he still sounded just as serene as the first time he had said it. "Bradley has a cat."

That's right, there had been mice. Because they were in the basement, and of course, there would be mice. And, of course, Alan would bring a cat. Not, like, lay down mousetraps or call a fumigator or mouse-buster or whatever they called for these days for getting rid of mice, but an honest-to-god house-cat that had probably never hunted for anything more mobile than a dust-bunny beneath the couch in its entire, pampered life. Blink, right, remember to blink.

"So, he brought his cat, and it was performing its duties - "

Probably marking the corners or something - oh god, he hoped it hadn't peed on any outlets, wires, or electronics. Was cat piss corrosive? His eyes twitched sideways, surreptitiously checking if there was a Google prompt within hailing range.

" - and Bradley was just about to activate the laser to return Tronzler - "

Tronzler. Sam felt a muscle in his jaw twitch.  Sure, it rolled off the tongue a whole sight easier than "Tron-slash-Rinzler," but he didn't want to get too comfortable with the idea that they were one and the same and potentially inseparable ...

" - when the cat wandered over for a rubbing, and Bradley reached over to grab it - "

Okay, okay, hold on there. "Wait, time-out. So there was Alan, cat, Tron-slash-Rinz - Tronzler," he gave in, counting off each individual on a finger.

Kevin folded his hands into the sleeves of his robe and nodded sagely.

He took a breath, blinked at the image, then paused, thoughts abruptly derailed. "Hey, cut that out, will you?"

A grayed brow arched. "Cut what out?"

He waved to encompass all of his father's figure. "That. I mean, I get that Star Wars was, like, the Matrix of your time, but the Jedi Master routine's getting a little old."

The other brow rose to join its companion. "C'mon, man, gimme some credit; I think I've got a bit more style than Ol' Ben Kenobi - "

" - that's not what I - "

" - I mean, the beard alone - "

Sam resisted the urge to paw at his face again. Could one have a stroke while on the Grid? What would it be like - a fountain of bits spewing about inside his head? "All right, all right! Never mind. So, about that - " he pointed at the floor between them.

Kevin looked downwards obediently.

"I used to have a godfather, his cat, and a bipolar program. So, how did all that - " he waved the same hand aggressively - he refused to call it helpless flailing, " - become this?"

'This' squirmed and wriggled with little success, tiny patches of bright blue lights peeking out from beneath the large paw planted firmly upon its chest. 'This' eyed them balefully with a slit-pupil gaze, a growl with a disturbingly familiar edge to it rumbling in warning, a white-tipped tail swishing back and forth. 'This' came in the form of two felines - a kitten and a full-grown cat, to be precise - boasting pelts whose textures defied description, and eight sets of all too functional claws, Sam had discovered to his chagrin.

There was a long moment of benign contemplation, and then Kevin shrugged. "Haven't the foggiest," he declared.

Chapter Text

"Tron - Tron! Get back here, I need that code!" Sam barked, and hell if he didn't feel like the Looney Tunes equivalent of a dog - emphasis on the 'looney' - as he chased after the fleeing feline, occasionally making an ineffectual swipe for the taunting snap of the blue-tipped tail.

But for all his kittenish proportions and smaller size, Tron seemed in full command of his usual spec sheet with its inhuman stats as he leaped off of seat, chair arm, seat back, and launched spread-eagled for the mantle in one fluid motion, barely needing to put paw to surface. Sam nearly dislocated a rib trying to correct mid-course, and over-reached in a futile attempt to snag the black-furred menace and the softly glowing wireframe fluttering desperately from its bewhiskered muzzle.

"Sam, what's all the - " his father chose the perfect moment to step in as the cat galloped pell-mell through the knick-knacks arranged on the shelf.

"Stop him!" Sam roared as he tried not to break his neck tripping over the ones that were knocked off.

Hands folded into his sleeves, Kevin blinked serenely between rabid son and absconding animal and did nothing whatsoever as Tron leapt off the mantle's end and sailed past his left elbow.

"Oh jesus christ, you're worse than a hello-world!" Sam groaned as he pushed off the mantle's corner without breaking stride, bouncing himself off onto the same vector as the kitten - and, incidentally, drastically dropping the target zone's friction values in that brief moment while his hand had contact with bare code.

"Really," Kevin huffed as Tron landed, skidded with a trill of surprise, and spun on the smooth tiles in a half-seated sprawl to disappear beneath the low table before the couch, "then I guess you don't need to know - "

Giving in to desperation, Sam flung himself onto his belly at full speed, grunting at the impact and stretching both arms out at full extension as he slid into shadow, right on target -

" - that you need to watch your two o'clock - "

"Gotcha," Sam hissed as one hand finally snagged fur - and completely missed the answering hiss that immediately preceded a bewildering splash of light ... and what felt like eighten red-hot fishhooks that suddenly embedded themselves in his back.

" - well, twelve o'clock, now," Kevin finished placidly as Sam's shriek was abruptly cut off with a thud.

The table teetered briefly upon two legs before settling back down with a screech.

Groaning, Sam crawled out from beneath, slumping down for a seat upon the table's edge as he held one hand to the growing lump on the top of his head and the other fingered gingerly at the torn and bloodied back of his shirt. "What the hell ... "

Kevin's magnanimous effort not to verbalize 'I told you so' was ruined by the palpable smugness in his voice. "It appears that Alan has retained full user privileges while in his altered form."

Sam twisted blearily around to find that the table now had a hole in it. To be exact, it had a vaguely cat-shaped hole in it, if the cat were about the size of a small dog and had legs extended while in the act of a full pounce.

"That's ... he ... you've got to be kidding me ... " Sam groaned before a disgruntled growl pulled his gaze up.

White points blazing, ears flat, Alan was definitely giving him the feline equivalent of the stinkeye while Tron dangled meek and half-curled by the nape of the neck from the cat's jaws.

Sam struggled not to sulk but couldn't quite hold back a defensive, "Hey, he started it!"

In typical fashion, Alan wanted to hear none of it, and trotted off with tail flagged high and proud ...

... and the damned code still clutched like a half-dead mouse between Tron's teeth.