Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The solitude of the night has never bothered him much; in fact he very much preferred it, welcomed it, as opposed to the horrors of the daylight. And more so, from this new room, he notices that, at this time, he can see how the moon shines in all its might, bathing him and his surroundings in a soft white glow. 

Lost in his musings, he can ignore the hunger, or how his tired body begs him to just rest.

However, as time goes by and the lighting inside the room changes with every passing hour, something seems to shift in the air, like an ominous feeling, foreboding. It only takes a fraction of a second for him to feel how the very blood inside him seems to change. A life before unknown to the boy fills up his veins, a momentary strength he could never have imagined springs from somewhere deep inside him without warning. 

Clink. 

The heavy metallic sound echoes throughout the small chamber, as the shackles fall to the floor beside him, and after an initial moment of shock, his instinct tells him, yells at him, he must flee. In doesn't matter in which direction, where to, he must go and wait no longer. Rationally, he knows it makes no sense to just take out running into the unknown; in his condition, the odds of him ever surviving a night outside are not looking particularly encouraging.  

Even so, somehow, he just goes.

Outside it's frigid, the way the air enters his lungs is almost excruciating; the wind around him whooshes past his ears, even though his surroundings are deathly still; the cold bites harshly at every exposed skin it finds, and yet, he notices the damp forest floor feels soft under his bare feet. He runs, glides through the maze of trees like he's never known anything else, even though an oppressive darkness has now fallen around him, and the soft night light barely dares pushing through the wall of twigs and leaves above his head. 

He has no idea how long it has been, when his knees begin to give in under his frail form and his weakened body begins to falter. Low grumbling comes from somewhere behind him, and a searing pain on the back of his leg brings him down to his hands and knees in an instant. His whole body is easily pushed down until he's lying flat on his back, something he cannot quite see weighing heavily on top of his chest; that is the moment when he becomes painfully aware he is going to die.

The boy can sense his strength slowly abandon him, like the blood that he can feel oozing out of his open wounds. He glances up at the night sky, the same firmament that remains so cruelly, mockingly quiet, indifferent to his pain. He can now hear howling, crystal clear, loud howling coming from beside him; in an instant, the pressure on his chest is gone.

Joke's on you. He won't make it through the night. It would be more merciful to just end him now, anyway 

He can hear growling so close to his ear, and even though he isn't quite sure whether it's real or it's all just delirium caused by his weak state, he musters every last bit of willpower to turn his head to the side.

A dark coloured snout; sharp teeth, two red eyes. 

That's the last picture he registers before blissful unconsciousness comes and takes him away.

Chapter Text

Victoria is no weak pup, that much she knows. First of all, these dogs are hunting on her pack’s territory. And second, they have rudely interrupted an otherwise peaceful family night, which, in itself, would be more than enough to royally piss off this short-tempered, powerful creature. 

A low, threatening rumble leaves her body, as she bares her fangs at the intruders. The young beta may be small, but she fights as well as wolves twice her size, and stands her ground against them fiercely. One of the other ones, a silver wolf, looks just about ready to jump at her and even so, she doesn't look the slightest bit intimidated; she’s furious and prepared for war, and she will take them down one by one if she must. He pounces in a swift movement, his teeth barely grazing her skin, and just as she is about to attack, she hears more growling beside her, and the trespasser backs off. 

She realizes her brother has just joined her, the dim night light just enough for her to see the golden fur and the yellow eyes glowing. Behind the twins, loud howling shakes the night air, and they both understand their alpha has come to their aid.

On the other side, the intruding pack has backed off completely at the sight of the mighty brown wolf; one of the trespassers stands behind the larger ones, with his tail between his legs. A thought coming from their side echoes in the pack’s mind.

It would be more merciful to just end him now, anyway.

The alpha, seemingly ignoring the strange remark, joins his powerful growl to the choir of growls already coming from the twins, all three of them taut as a string, tense, on edge. It is a fairly intimidating sight, especially when Victoria's golden irises are shining bright with rage, looking absolutely rabid at the thought of anyone trying to mess with her pack, her family. The foreigners are now gone, fleeing in haste in the opposite direction. 

Suddenly, now that there's no one else in the vicinity, Victoria notices a weird smell that is slowly filling the air around them; it’s strong, pungent, rotten. It smells of fear, sickness, almost despair and the younger wolves barely remember ever coming across a scent like this. The alpha can recognize this smell, however, and he starts looking more attentively at their surroundings to try and find its source. It isn’t until this moment that he notices what (or rather, who ) the grey wolf from before had been standing on.

Lying on his back, skin bare against the cold mattress of dead leaves, there’s a boy. He looks frail, his collarbones stick prominently under the pasty skin, which has acquired an almost blueish tone, contrasting with the long, ebony colored, tangled hair that drapes all over him like a dark waterfall. Even in darkness, they can see the scars that litter his skin, painting a ghastly picture, the open gash on his leg and on his side, they can see the hurt, raw skin of his wrists, ankles and neck, and a shiver courses through the twin's bodies. The poor creature is as still as death itself, the movements of his chest are barely visible, and had the three of them not been able to hear a faint heartbeat, they would've most likely consider him to be gone for good.

The younger wolves observe their alpha attentively, as he sniffs the body, analyzes it carefully, anxiously trying to understand what his intentions are. 

It would, in fact, be easier for the wolves to just put him out of his misery. However, all three can sense there is something else about him, he's not just a simple boy. For one, there is no good reason any sane human would be wandering by themselves around wolf territory at any time of the day, let alone of the night; then, he looks too sick, too fragile, and his scars tell a very specific story; lastly, lying underneath the overwhelming stench from before, there’s a hint of a scent the three of them can recognize. They exchange a look, in utter confusion, and the echo of the young betas’ worry and anguish for the corpse-like figure lying before them hits the alpha with overpowering strength. 

“We can’t leave him here. He might actually be one of us” - is the first thought that comes through.

The brown wolf touches the body on the floor with his snout, realizing the boy is unresponsive. Something about him just draws him in, and for as much as he’d like to just turn around and go on with his night, he is incapable of ignoring the situation before him.

~ * ~ * ~

The first time, the boy comes to his senses for a brief second; he isn’t quite sure whether he's still alive; maybe he is trapped in another dimension between life and death. All he knows is that his body hurts all over (is death supposed to be this painful?) and he feels it swaying softly; the way he vaguely registers the world passing him by suggests he is moving. Everything hurts, though, even the faintest suggestion of motion, and when the inviting darkness consumes him again, he feels thankful for it.

The second time he returns to consciousness, he's cold, and realizes he’s being stripped of his old rags; he can see two figures that move around him, doing something he can’t quite understand, and a freezing touch against his skin makes him flinch; a blinding pain on his leg makes him see white, and he passes out once more.

The third and final time the boy wakes up, he opens his eyes to a white ceiling above him, and the first thought that comes to his mind is that it must be morning already, since he can see the room is bathed in golden sunlight that peeks from somewhere beside him. He moves his hands first, to feel a soft surface beneath his body, not at all similar to the rough and cold floor he's used to. He notices, with great confusion, that his hair has been brushed and tied in a low ponytail that falls on his shoulder; then, he's even more puzzled when he realizes that his wrists have been skillfully bandaged, and the sore skin of his neck is, too, padded with patches of something that feels soft against it. 

With great effort, he manages to sit up slightly, not without his injured body protesting in pain, and takes a moment to readjust his eyes to the lighting, then realizes he’s on a bed, warm blankets pulled over his body. He feels so disoriented he could cry.

The memory of the dark wolf from before floods his mind, fills him with dread, making him flinch when he understands there is someone sitting beside him. A muffled sound leaves his throat as he tries to move back to get further away from the person. A hand is placed over his own, with a gentleness he doesn’t recall ever having felt.

“Hey. Hey, shh, just relax, it's okay, you're safe” - he says - “come on, lay back down, you're still very weak. What’s your name?”

“Ethan” - he manages to croak out, voice rough from disuse 

He takes a good look at the boy sitting beside him; his hair is blonde, falling down to his shoulders in soft waves, and his eyes are a light brown color, with shades of green in them.  He’s smiling, and a little bit of Ethan’s wariness dissolves when he sees the overall aura of softness that seems to surround him. 

“Nice to meet you, Ethan, I'm Maso” - he says - “I know you're probably scared and confused, but there'll be time to ask questions later, I promise. For now, just rest, I'll watch over you, okay?"

Ethan tells himself he shouldn’t feel as safe around him as he does, but the fact is that he does feel safe. Safer, at least, than he's felt in a very, very long time. So when Maso goes back to doing whatever he was doing before, and Ethan feels the insistent tug of exhaustion at the edge of his brain again, and he knows he is too tired to simply ignore it. In a matter of minutes, he’s back asleep, hoping the next time he wakes up he will, for once, have more answers than questions.

Chapter Text

Damiano lays the unconscious boy on the couch as soon as the trio - now changed back from their mighty wolves - arrives home from the ghastly scene in the woods. Vic and Maso are fast to his help, running around to get whatever supplies he asks for, trying their hardest to make sure the boy makes it through the night.

The alpha works quickly, precisely, grabbing ointments, bandages, applying them to all the right places. They do have in their hands someone who's in quite a miserable state, and now that the light from indoors allows them a good picture of what they’re dealing with, they can’t help the horrified gasp that escapes them. For a moment, Damiano is grateful that the poor soul is not awake through all of it.

A string of memories flashes quickly through Victoria’s mind. 

“What the fuck?” - she says - “Dami, do you think he was…”

The look and the subtle nod Damiano sends her way, tells the beta everything she needs to know. They’re thinking the same thing. He continues to work quietly, the two younger members of the pack helping him in anything he needs, and taking his commands to nurse the fragile body back to, at least, the world of the living. Their silence is only occasionally interrupted by one of them asking a question, or asking for something, un til a quiet sniffle makes Damiano and Victoria lift their eyes from their work to look at Maso. As soon as they notice the quiet tears running down his cheeks, Victoria is quick to abandon her task to be next to her twin. She takes his hand, sweeps his hair away from his face, wipes his cheek with her thumb.

“Oh Maso…” 

It’s too much. 

“No wolf can possibly heal like this, he’s too weak…” - he says, tone heavy with emotion - “I remember when - “

Damiano interrupts him.

“I know, Maso. But don’t underestimate him. He still has a chance. We’ll do everything we can.” 

Victoria tries to comfort him. 

“It’s okay”

“I’m okay” - he finally says, against his sister’s shoulder, though his voice breaks a little at it - “I’m okay. Sorry.”

When Damiano speaks, his tone, although not harsh, doesn’t leave much room for debate. 

“Would you please get the guest room ready for… well, our guest?” 

The blond boy almost opens his mouth to protest, but the look Damiano gives him makes it very clear that it was not a request. The alpha knows him like he knows himself, and he knows he’s reaching his limit, the one he definitely cannot push past. Victoria kisses her twin’s forehead, and he stands up, making his way down the hallway. 

Damiano and the blonde girl are now alone, and continue to work side-by-side, and he is now soaking bandages in a minty-scented liquid before wrapping the boy’s wrist in it. 

“What is it?” - she asks, as she watches him curiously

“Something to make sure this doesn’t get infected” - he explains - “at this point, it would probably kill him if it did.”

Victoria thinks about his answer for a little.

“You should teach me these things, too. We never know when it could come in handy”

Damiano doesn’t reply, just smiles and nods briefly, then returns to his previous task with care. They lose track of time while they’re focused on the wounds, just talking quietly to each other. Maso comes back eventually, letting them know the room is ready, and bringing with him a pile of some of his older clothes that might fit the stranger.

Damiano and Victoria dress him up, noticing how everything is too large on his thin frame, and trying not to mess up the careful work they have done. Finally, the alpha takes the boy into his arms again and carries him to bed.

“Now we keep him warm and comfortable, and… we wait” - he says - “I’ll be in my room if you need me” 

Maso’s face is confused for a moment.

“Don't you want to talk to him when he wakes up?” 

Damiano shakes his head.

“If it’s what I think it is… I don’t think he’ll want an alpha around for now. Let him get comfortable first. He’s going to be scared and have questions. I’ll come then.”

The twins nod at the same time. 

“I’ll watch over him until he wakes up.” - Maso says 

“But - “

“It’s okay, Vic. We’ll switch places after. I've got him.”

Vic brings him closer in a little hug and leaves the room, as the beta gets comfortable in the chair beside the boy’s bed. Damiano, with a hand on the back of his neck, brings their foreheads close together.

“Thank you"

Then, he too leaves, closing the door behind him and leaving Maso to watch over the stranger. 

~ * ~

"He woke up for a bit. Told me his name is Ethan, fell asleep again a bit after. He was more than a little confused." - Maso announces, smiling.

Though he looks tired, his overall mood seems lighter than the night before, looking almost relieved. 

Victoria stands up immediately.

"I'll take over now. Go rest. Thank you, Maso" - she offers

Damiano nods, then speaks: 

"I'll give him a little more time" 

~ * ~ * ~

When Ethan comes back to awareness once more, after a dreamless sleep, he realizes he feels strangely warm. He looks around, hoping to see Maso beside him; instead, who he sees is a girl, who happens to look very much like him, blond hair up in a disheveled bun and a book in her hands.

At the sudden movement, the girl turns, offering Ethan a smile, and her blue eyes are kind when she looks at him, reassuring, to at least some degree, the fear she sees in his features. 

“Hi” - she greets, simply - “Maso is resting for a little. I’m Victoria, his twin, you can call me Vic” 

Ethan gives her a weak nod in acknowledgement, but she can see the way his muscles tense, as if he's getting ready to run at any moment. Not that he could go far anyway.

"You can relax, Ethan, no one is going to hurt you" - she assures - "I know you're confused, but as Maso told you, there will be time to explain everything. We found you half dead in the woods in the middle of the night, so for now, Maso, and I, and our alpha, would rather if you'd just rest and recover without worries, okay?"

The younger boy just looks at her, seemingly overwhelmed at the sudden amount of information. Our alpha. After all, Ethan hadn't simply dreamt about red eyes and sharp teeth. As it turns out, the wolf he had seen before blacking out had actually saved him. Victoria seems to read his mind. 

"You'll get to meet Damiano when the time is right, don't you worry." - she explains - "for now, just lay back down and don't stress yourself out. We'll take care of you. You'll be alright." 

Victoria then takes a closer look at the fragile looking boy on the bed. His wounds are bandaged and cared for, his hair is no longer a mess, and, finally, his cheeks have regained some healthier color, even if still pale, instead of that god awful blue tone from before. Even if still weakened and sick looking, he now looks at least alive.

“Thank you, Victoria. I’m… I’m sorry."

Victoria chuckles.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Rest, Ethan. Your body needs it. I’ll go to the kitchen to find you something to eat and I’ll be right back.”

Ethan watches how the small blonde stands up gracefully and leaves the room. He lays his head back down on the soft pillow, enjoys the warmth the covers over him provide him. He takes a deep breath, and for a second, part of his fear seems to abandon him at last. 

Now that he is alone in the room for a minute, he realizes he all there’s left to do is wait and try not to think too much of whatever awaits him. After all, can it really be worse than what's behind him?

Chapter Text

Ethan realizes, while he is waiting for Victoria to come back, that he can't remember the last time he ate anything. The blonde beta comes back shortly after with a bowl in hand, and a small tray that she places on his bedside table. She sits, returning to her previous place, then carefully positions the tray in front of him, and the bowl on top of it, with a spoon on its side.

For a second, Victoria is puzzled at his reaction (or lack thereof), as Ethan stares at her in confusion, as if he'd never seen such a thing in his life. 

"Ethan… it's just soup.” - she clarifies, unsure of what to do 

A flashback comes to Ethan's mind; he's young, and chained, trying to make himself smaller in the corner. It's dark, and he's hungry, so hungry , and a piece of stale bread is thrown in front of him, but he can't reach it. 

A shiver goes down his spine, until Vic's voice brings him back to reality. 

"Ethan…? Are you with me?" 

The dark-haired boy looks at the bowl, then looks at Vic, then finally speaks. 

"I'm… it's for me? I can eat it?"

Vic thinks the puzzle pieces are slowly starting to fit together, sadly confirming her initial theory about the boy's origin; her heart breaks a little. 

"Yes. Yes, of course, dear, it's all for you, enjoy it. Just take it slow, alright? We don't want to upset your stomach." 

When Ethan tries to lift a spoonful of the warm broth to his mouth, he realizes his arm hurts, his shoulder hurts, and when he tries to hold still and bring the object to his mouth, he's shaking too much and ends up spilling a bit of the liquid. A slight panic flashes over his eyes, and Vic is quick to reassure him. 

"Hey, hey, don't worry. It's okay. I’ll clean it up." - she says

Victoria hesitates a little. She doesn't want to make Ethan feel bad, but at the same time she really wants to make it easier for him. She suggests: 

"Do you think I can give you a little help?” 

Ethan nods, watching as she takes the spoon into her hand. He can't help the tears of frustration that pool in his eyes at how weak he feels, all scared and hurt. He’s all too used to feeling helpless. 

Again, either Victoria is really good at reading minds, or his concerns are very obviously written all across his face. 

"It's okay. You don't have to be ashamed, you’re still recovering. I’m happy to help. Come on, let's get some food into you" 

She brings the spoon to his lips, letting him taste first. It's warm, and it tastes... good, warms him up inside as it makes his way down to his stomach. While Ethan feels absolutely pathetic that he's being spoon-fed like a helpless baby, he can't help but think of how weird it feels to be cared for like that. Not necessarily unpleasant, just… unfamiliar. Halfway through the bowl, however, his stomach growls in protest, turns dangerously, and Ethan is pretty sure he's about to be sick. Vic stops all together, putting the bowl and tray back on the bedside table.

"Okay, okay, that's enough for now. Lay back. That's okay, deep breaths, yeah?" 

He does as he's told, and in a minute he doesn't feel on the verge of sickness anymore. Victoria offers him a glass of water, which she holds to his lips to allow him to take a sip. She cheers him up: 

"See? You did awesome. Baby steps, my friend, we’ll get there.” 

She sounds so certain, Ethan almost believes her. He stays silent for a minute, hesitating before vocalizing his thoughts. 

“Thank you, Vic” - he speaks - “I’m sorry… I’m not used to having people take care of me.”

Vic smiles, takes his hand.

“We are a pack. It’s what we do, we take care of each other.” - she explains - "it's how it'll always be"

Ethan seems genuinely confused at this. 

“You… you are wolves, I... ” - he states - “I’m just… I’m just a weak human.” 

Victoria furrows her brow in confusion at Ethan’s answer. 

“What do you mean? Ethan… you’re a wolf… a beta, like me, and Maso” - she states - “it’s in your scent, in your aura, we could feel it, alpha could feel it”

Victoria’s words seem to trigger something inside him, a memory, a specific moment he can’t quite pinpoint or visualize, and he feels a sharp pain course through his entire body, like electricity. When he speaks, he realizes he’s crying: 

“How? I… I don’t remember, how is it possible?” 

With care, slowly, and testing out for Ethan’s reaction, Vic brings him closer into a soft embrace, hushing the boy with gentleness.

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry about it now. We’ll figure it out, okay?” 

Ethan nods against Vic’s shoulder.

“I… the Alphas always said I was a weak human, that I was only good for - “ - he begins, and gets choked up halfway through it.

All those years, and layer after layer of trauma, he thinks he's only just begun scratching the surface.

Victoria caresses his hair. Finally, she begins to understand where he is coming from, and it hurts her beyond words that he's ever had to know that kind of pain.  

“Shh, Ethan, it’s okay. I know. You don’t have to talk about it right now. It’s all over. You’re safe with us now” - she comforts -  “you only have to worry about getting strong again, we’ll figure it all out. You’re home now. I promise you”

He melts a little into Vic’s embrace, thankful for the sudden flood of love he feels inside. How can someone who was just a stranger mere hours ago be so kind and compassionate? Carefully, she helps him lay back down in bed, rearranging the pillows behind his back so he feels more comfortable. 

Vic realizes Ethan looks suddenly tired, and small shivers run through his body, signaling he’s cold. The blonde beta stands up to fetch one more cover to drape over the boy’s body, as he gets comfortable in bed again. 

“I’m here. You call if you need anything, okay?”  

~ * ~ * ~

At the end of the day, Ethan is still asleep, and Vic comes out of the guest room when Maso takes her place watching over him. She finds Damiano sitting in the living room, an old looking book opened on his lap, as he flips through the pages mindlessly. Outside, the sun sets in the distance, soft rays coming through the windows and spreading golden light all over that illuminates the boy as well, giving him an almost lighter look. 

The alpha looks up at Vic as soon as she approaches him, understanding from her expression that something is not right. Vic is strong, fierce, tends to hold up a wall in front of her; having to fight to survive from such a young age taught her to hide, don’t let anyone see what’s truly going on inside. 

But Maso is one of the few people she can’t fool, and so is Damiano. He can sense something’s wrong with this fiery wolf, a pang, an echo of pure sorrow hits his chest, fills the air between them. He closes the book and sets it aside, to then pat the couch beside him softly.

Victoria takes the invitation gladly, taking a seat, laying her head on Damiano’s shoulder. 

“How’s our friend?” - he asks 

Vic doesn’t reply immediately. She’s trying to steady herself. Damiano turns slightly to take a better look at her face.

“What's wrong, my love?”

Victoria exhales sharply before speaking.

“Dami… you were right” - she says, voice just about to break - “the poor boy… he was… Dami, he was--”

Damiano hugs her close, runs his hand up and down her back.

“A pet?” - he asks, simply 

Victoria nods.

“He doesn’t remember being a wolf. How is it possible?”

Damiano considers it, then speaks:

“It is possible if he’s been conditioned to forget it, you know. To remain human, easier to… control ” - he explains, pained 

“They…”

Damiano just nods, kisses Vic’s forehead.

“I know, darling. I know, it’s horrible” - he says - “but he’s with us now. We’ll teach him everything he needs to know, he’ll be alright. He’s strong, Vic, just like you and Maso were. It will be okay”

Vic takes comfort in his embrace, as he rocks her gently from side to side, whispering sweet words. Damiano knows Vic looked at Ethan and saw herself, and he only wishes there was something he could do to erase those horrible memories from her mind.

“Thank you”

He caresses her cheek.

“You’re welcome, my love”

~ * ~

Pathetic little human, look at you. You should be thankful I haven’t killed you yet.

The voice echoes through every corner of Ethan’s mind. A sharp claw traces the shape of his abdomen, tears at the bruised skin, blood trickles down to pool on the floor. Ethan hisses in pain, begs the shadow to stop, but the pain just goes on, and on, and on.

Alpha hates when he cries, he gets so mad. A hand closes around his throat, two red eyes shine in the dark, and Damiano is the name that his brain yells at him, the faceless presence seeping through, flooding his thoughts, filling him with a dread he can’t give a name to. 

Ethan wakes up screaming, tears running down his face, calling out for he doesn’t even know who. Maso is startled awake by the noise, and the first thing he feels is an overwhelming echo of fear in his chest. He’s quick to climb onto the bed next to Ethan and take his hand. 

“Ethan. Ethan, hush. Shh, it was just a dream. Look at me.”

Maso cups Ethan’s cheeks with his hands, gently forcing him to look him in the eyes. 

“It’s alright now. You’re safe”

Ethan remains sitting for a bit, taking in his surroundings, realizing he’s not in his cage anymore, he’s in a home, being cared for, he’s safe . He takes a few deep breaths to steady himself, to regain some composure.

“Sorry” - he apologizes, sincerely - “sorry I woke you up, I was…”

“It’s okay. You can talk about it, if you want”

Ethan sighs, then goes on, shyly:

“I dreamed of… of my Alpha and he was… he was your alpha and...”

Maso’s face turns sad.

“You don’t have to apologize. I have nightmares too, it’s okay” - he reassures - “it was just a dream, Ethan. And I assure you, my alpha is nothing like that.”

Ethan lowers his gaze, embarrassed, doesn’t reply. He doesn’t really want to tell Maso that he desperately wants to believe him, but something inside him just won’t allow him to.

Maso sighs. He understands Ethan’s doubts. 

“Allow me to show you something, my friend” - he says

Gently, with the greatest care, he helps Ethan to his feet, supporting his weight and helping him take small, slow steps. Ethan doesn’t know where he is taking him, however, he allows himself to trust the blond boy. Eventually, Maso stops in front of the door right next to his room. They notice it’s been left ajar, and Maso invites Ethan to take a peek inside. Ethan flinches back at first, noticing what Maso wants to show him, but then, the boy encourages him to look again, holding him a little tighter.

Inside, Victoria sleeps peacefully in her bed, illuminated by a night light that's placed on the nightstand, her blond hair all sprawled around her head like a halo. She looks peaceful, and her arm is dangling out to one side, as her fingers touch the soft fur of the creature right beside her, on the rug. A big, brown wolf sleeps quietly with his muzzle resting on top of his paws. Maso smiles at Ethan, as if to say “See?”

Ethan almost feels bad, as if he’s intruding on a moment he is not supposed to see. 

Carefully, so as not to disturb the sleeping pair, Maso helps the injured boy back to bed, helping him to get comfortable under the covers. He takes his previous seat beside him. Ethan is silent for the time being, so Maso takes the opportunity to explain: 

“Vic has nightmares too, Ethan. When I’m not sleeping next to her, Damiano watches over like this, it makes her feel safe, keeps her company. When she’s not sleeping next to me, he does the same”

The black-haired boy doesn’t reply, allowing him to proceed. 

“You know, Vic and I have been where you were, too” - he begins, deciding to just go straight to the point - “we grew up like pets to our alphas. When we became too sick to entertain them and satisfy, we were left outside on our own”

Ethan looks up at him, almost says something, but then shuts up. He fears he’s going to say the wrong thing. 

“Vic was very sick, I was almost dead when Damiano found us” - he tells - “he saved us, brought us home, cared for us. Taught us everything we had never learned. Showed us love . Ethan, I understand that you are scared of him, believe me, I was terrified too when I first came here. You’ll have to take your time, but you can trust me. I’m just asking you to think about what I’m telling you, okay?”

Ethan looks overwhelmed, and Maso just holds him in a hug for a second.

“It won’t always be easy, but you’ll be okay. You’ll see”

The boys stay awake for a little longer, talking quietly in the dark until Ethan has calmed down enough to go back to a peaceful slumber.

Until the dawn finally breaks, and pale morning light illuminates the room again, no more nightmares haunt them.

Chapter Text

It’s been a week, and Ethan’s progress is, to say the least, surprising, and satisfying. Victoria and Maso haven’t left his bedside, and Ethan is thankful beyond words for their care and gentleness. 

The beautiful winter afternoon is coming to an end, and as the sun begins to slowly lower on the horizon, cold is beginning to settle. The twins are returning from a quick stroll around the woods, Ethan having assured them repeatedly that he felt well enough to be left alone for a while, allowing them some well deserved free time. The damp mass of leaves feels cool under their paws, their golden furs seem to glisten under the gentle daylight, and they’ll never get tired of how free they feel like this. 

As they approach their home, however, they can immediately sense something’s off. Maso’s head turns abruptly to the side, to notice the presence of a stranger in their territory. Human? Not likely. Even if both humans and shapeshifters can and do coexist peacefully, they are not so dumb as to venture like that into their territory, unannouced. 

This man is a wolf, much older than them, and he stands in the vicinity of their house; he's clearly an alpha, and looks down at the younger wolves with a smug grin on his face. Maso takes a defensive stance. Victoria is growling lowly, never breaking eye contact with the stranger.

"Well, what have we here? An undisciplined, rude pup." - he comments, snarkily - "doesn't your master teach you to behave?" 

Maso bares his teeth.

"Careful, young cub, you don't want to break a nail" - the man says, then letting out a laugh

Vic is now snarling at full power, claws out, sharp fangs showing, eyes glowing in all their fury. Suddenly, a hand is placed on her scruff, a very gentle warning. 

Easy. 

The thought echoes through both of the twins' minds, though it doesn't really do much to soothe Vic's anger. 

Damiano's voice then sounds right behind her. 

"What seems to be the problem here?" - he asks

He knows this man. He knows he's not good news. Vic can sense it, as she is restless near him, snarling, growling still. Damiano's grip on her tightens ever so gently.

Stop, Vic. Now is not the time.

"That's one awfully rude cub you've got there, one would think you'd have taught her better manners" - the man speaks again, repeating the same comment from before - "who would’ve thought, Damiano, that you had gone all soft?” 

Damiano's face is a mirror of carefully feigned calm, even if inside he feels his blood boiling. He chuckles. 

"Well, Manu, considering you are standing in my pack's territory, uninvited, while insulting me and my family, I'd say you're the one lacking manners" - he comments - "but then again, that's not really new, is it?" 

The younger alpha's eyes are glowing bright. The man has gone serious, the previous smirk quickly fading from his face. He opens his mouth to speak for a second, but closes it again. Damiano continues. 

"Victoria is in her home, she will behave in any way she wants to" - he adds - "and you, you have exactly one minute to say what you came here for. After that, my patience will be up" 

The man is clearly intimidated by the pack. Even as an alpha, he is much shorter than Damiano, and his overall structure is no match for the powerful young man, let alone for the trio together. 

"You have something that belongs to my pack" - he states, simply

Damiano raises an eyebrow. 

"Excuse me? And what would that be?" 

Manu nods, confirming what he just said. 

"The boy. He's ours " 

Damiano lets out a laugh. 

"You do have some nerve, don't you? To come here, in another alpha's territory, and make demands like that" - he retorts, scoffing - "no, Manu, he is not yours. Your boys left him nearly dead in my territory, to do as we please. If the boy was to belong to anyone, it would not be to you for sure" 

"That's not how it works. He's our property" 

The young alpha feels his patience slowly ooze out of him. 

"Let me level with you" - he begins, with a sigh - "you're in my home. You don't get to ask for, much less demand anything here. The boy was left here, he's now under my protection and I don't intend on changing that anytime soon. Clear enough for you?" 

Manu threatens: 

"You haven't claimed him as yours, Damiano. If I were you, I'd be careful " 

"You and your assumptions. Your threats don't scare me, old man" - he replies, never losing the smile - "Now, I said you had one minute, your minute is up. Get out of my territory. I won’t ask twice"  

Manu almost snarls.

"Very well, keep him. For now" - he says - "maybe you'll end up doing to him what you did to the last one, what was her name?..." 

Damiano ignores the obvious provocation and turns his back on him, walking back inside and finally releasing his hold on the back of Vic's neck. The young beta almost jumps at the trespasser, making him retreat in haste. With one last glare in Damiano's direction, Manu turns back and disappears into the woods again.

Within just a minute, Vic and Maso are back inside, as human as ever. No words are needed between the three, they all understand perfectly well what just went down outside. Maso is upset, but tries his best not to show it for the sake of not upsetting anyone else any further. Vic, on her side, is completely livid, her brain is working at one thousand miles per hour, she stands up, stomps furiously across the living room. 

“Who does he think he is, Dami? He can’t just come here and demand things. He can’t just tell you all those horrible things, I-”

Damiano sighs.

“Darling, it’s okay. He’s gone”

Victoria almost yells in response.

“No, no, it's not, it’s not okay!”

When the alpha speaks this time, his tone is unusually harsh.

“Enough, Victoria! What do you want me to do about it? Start a war?” - he asks, raising his voice - “we have plenty to worry about at the moment, I don’t think we need that” 

Victoria quiets down immediately, eyes instinctively on the floor, in an initial moment of shock. Damiano never raises his voice like that. It’s just not how they work. Right after he realizes what he’s just done, he sighs and stands up from his place on the couch to bring the small blonde to his chest, resting his chin lightly on top of her head.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m upset, it’s true, but I had no right to lash out at you” - he says, sincerely - “forgive me, Vic”

Vic just nods, remaining in Damiano’s embrace for just a second longer before parting their hug. This time, it’s Maso’s voice to interrupt the silence.

“And now what?” - he asks, still sitting in the same place 

Damiano sighs, deeply, before replying:

“Manu was right about one thing, I haven’t claimed him” - he says - “while he’s not part of the pack officially, we can’t completely protect him”

Victoria then speaks:

“Claim him, then! It’s the simplest thing ever. What are we waiting for?”

Damiano chuckles mirthlessly, softly caressing Vic’s cheek.

“It’s not that easy ” - he explains - “Ethan is a traumatized beta, as you saw, who doesn’t even remember being a wolf, he’s not used to our rituals. I can claim him, yes, but I’m not sure he will accept it as gladly when he hasn’t even met me yet. I don’t want to force him”

Maso intervenes:

“It’s worth a try, though, isn’t it?” - he says - “talk to him. He needs his bandages changed, anyway, Damià, Vic and I could never do it as well as you. Ethan will have to meet you eventually, I think now it’s a time as good as any” 

Damiano thinks about it for a minute, in silence. Even if reluctant, he has to admit, Maso is right, and reasonable, and then they can fully protect Ethan as one of their own. 

“You know Maso is right” - Vic adds 

The alpha sighs.

“You both are. I’ll go talk to him”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Ethan is lying in bed, still, staring mindlessly out the window, enjoying the way the soft breeze from the outside whooshes, and how the almost naked tree branches sway gently with it, in an encompassed and coordinated dance. The last leaves are falling to the ground, swept away by the wind, brief tones of yellow and red that contrast with the changing tones of the sky just for a second, before they land. Back in his previous room, the only window was so high up Ethan couldn’t reach it, and he could never look at the outside from it.

Bit by bit, he’s beginning to feel stronger. He thinks back to his previous week, and how his life has turned upside down and inside out, and he can't quite name the turmoil of feelings that goes on inside him at the thought.

Suddenly, he’s pulled out of his reverie by the sound of knocking on the door. This time, though, Ethan knows it isn’t Maso or Vic. He doesn’t know exactly how he knows it, but something in the air around him seems to change. He swallows thickly, his heartbeat speeds up to the point where it feels like his heart will jump out of his ribcage.

Ethan can’t bring himself to answer.

Just a second later, the door opens slightly, to let in a young man that, in reality, has nothing to do with the horrible image that Ethan had made up in his mind. He’s tall, hazel eyes and brown hair almost down to his shoulders, a light stubble on his face. He’s wearing sweatpants and a simple, plain black hoodie, the sleeves look a little too large on his thin arms, giving him a weirdly cozy look. He carries a small tray with him that he is quick to set on the bedside table.

The young beta is absolutely rigid on the bed, his muscles are so tense it’s almost painful, his breaths are so shallow, Damiano can barely see his chest moving. He sighs, slowly taking a seat on the chair beside the bed, keeping a distance and not yet touching him. 

“Hello, Ethan. I’m Damiano, as you already know” - he finally greets, offering the boy a smile - “I can see you're terrified. There's no need to be scared of me. I swear." 

A temporary panic seems to have taken over Ethan's brain. With patience, Damiano retries:

"Ethan. Listen to me, please" - he asks, and his tone is steady, but sweet - "relax a little, take a breath. Take your time. I promise I won't hurt you"

The knot on Ethan’s chest eventually loosens a little at his gentleness. 

“Hi” - Ethan finally says, barely louder than a whisper, suddenly feeling more shyness than fear - “I’m… I’m sorry”

Damiano shakes his head.

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you” - he says - “I meant to come visit earlier, but I wanted to give you some space”

The boy across from him can’t yet bring himself to reply, especially because he’s not exactly sure of what to say. Then, the alpha decides to proceed, showing Ethan the things he’s brought with him.

“I want to change the bandages on your wrist, but for that I need to come closer and touch you. Would you be okay with it?” - he asks, carefully, analyzing how the boy changes his facial expression - “relax, I won’t touch you unless you give me permission to do it. I swear”

Ethan hesitates, but decides to give him a shaky nod, allowing him to go on. Slowly, so as not to scare him any more than he already is, Damiano moves closer, reaches out and grabs his arm. The beta notices his hands are warm, and his touch is gentle. When he’s sure the boy’s okay, he starts taking off the old bandage from his wrist. 

Ethan takes a minute to observe him, taking in his features, how young he looks. Now that he’s sitting closer to him, he notices a faded scar that runs across his right cheek, almost up to his eye. 

When Damiano’s gaze meets his, Ethan looks down, and his cheeks heat up just a little bit. 

“How are you feeling?” - he asks, trying to make conversation, to maybe make him feel a little more at ease - “have the twins been treating you well?”

Damiano chuckles when he says this last bit. For the first time, the ghost of a smile hovers over Ethan’s lips.

“Yes. They have been very kind to me. You all have” - he says, this time his tone is a little less shaky - “thank you so much”

“You’re very welcome, Ethan”

Damiano is now taking a sort of gauze square that has been dipped in something Ethan can’t quite see, but that he can most definitely smell . He is quick to reassure the worries that the long haired beta hasn’t even had the time to put in words.

“I’m just going to clean this. It might sting a little, okay?”  - he explains 

It does sting and when it comes in contact with the wounded skin, Ethan draws in a sharp breath through gritted teeth. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s done, I’m sorry, I’m done” - Damiano apologizes, even though Ethan thinks he doesn’t really have to - “it’s looking so much better, see? The stronger you get, the faster you heal”

In fact, the wounds don’t look as raw anymore, and have clearly begun to close around the edges. Damiano is now applying a new roll of bandage to the beta’s wrist, trying to make his movements as slow and predictable as possible. Even so, Ethan can’t help but flinch at times, being only met by the alpha’s reassurances. He breaks the silence:

“I’m sorry, sir. I don’t mean to be scared of you, it’s just - “

Damiano interrupts him.

“None of that sir thing, okay? Just Damiano” - he asks - “and you don’t have to apologize, dear, it’s not your fault. I know your story. You have every right to be scared”

Ethan, deep inside, somehow feels like he can trust this alpha. Timidly, he begins:

“I’m confused, si-- Damiano” - he corrects himself - “it’s just… so different from before, they…”

Damiano sets the roll of bandages aside when he’s done, focusing his full attention on the beta before him, taking a closer look at his features. The dark strands of hair that frame his face only highlight the pale skin further. There are scars, here and there, some old, faded ones, other fresher ones, and Damiano's seen before that they are all over the beta's body too. Even so, now that he is awake and speaking, there's a new, different life in his dark eyes that gives him a little hope. There is hope, after all, and Damiano refuses to give it up.

“I know. I can imagine the things you’ve gone through, but all of that is over now. You’re home, as long as you’ll have us, we take care of our own kind”

The boy on the bed sighs, sadly, receiving a questioning look from the alpha. He can sense Ethan has something else to ask, so he encourages him to speak his mind.

“You are a beautiful pack, Damiano, and what am I? I don’t remember being a wolf, I don’t remember how to change, I don’t know anything, how can I -?”

At the mention of this topic, Ethan can almost feel that weird electric pain on his body, and he realizes how agitated he’s becoming. Damiano can sense this too, and he’s quick to hush him.

“Hey, hey, rest easy, now. It has an explanation. I believe, Ethan, that you were somehow conditioned - that is, trained - to remain human, to the point where you forgot how to be anything else” - he explains, carefully - “it’s reversible. There are ways to get you back in touch with who you are. If you let me, us, help you” 

The boy feels frustrated. For as much as he would like to believe Damiano’s kind words, he just doesn’t think it’s possible for him. He’ll remain a useless human. The alpha senses his disbelief:

“Scents don’t lie, sweetheart. You are a beta” - he explains - “and plus, no human could be healing as fast as you are, even if sick. We’ll teach you everything you need to know. You just need to trust ”

Ethan is silent, considering everything he just heard and how desperately he wants to trust this pack that took him in so quickly, no questions asked. To put a little faith in them in the least he can do. 

“There’s one more thing I wanted to talk to you about, Ethan” - Damiano announces with a sigh, and Ethan notices his sudden shift of tone 

He just looks at him, expectant, signaling that he has his full attention and is waiting for him to go on.

“There’s a… sort of pack ritual...” - he begins - “where the alpha wolf… claims his betas. This way, the pack has a scent, and others, from outside, will know you’re my beta and a part of our pack, and we can protect you as one of ours”

Ethan’s heart drops at this. He knows this ritual all too well. Though he can’t help the cold fear that begins to pool at his stomach, he also can’t bring himself to say no. First, because he doesn’t yet believe refusing a request from an alpha is an option, especially not from one who’s been kind enough to take him in. Besides, after all, what are his options? Go back to where he was before, or just be left outside to eventually die?

A shaky sigh, a nod of the head, he speaks before Damiano even finishes his explanation. 

“Okay” 

Damiano looks surprised. 

“Okay? Are you sure?” 

“I know what it is. Okay” - he repeats - “when?”

Damiano searches his face, tries to read anything from his expression and fails, even if he can sense his discomfort. He wasn’t expecting him to just know, but he believes him, seeing how hard he is trying to keep his resolve. 

“Tomorrow night?” - he proposes 

Ethan just nods, blankly, tiredly.

“Tomorrow night”

With everything finally settled, the hazel-eyed boy thinks it’s time to give Ethan a break from all the strong emotions. Still carefully, walking on eggshells, Damiano pulls up the covers again, so the beta’s body is again warm and as comfortable as possible. With the utmost sweetness, he takes his hand, waits a second to see if he flinches away, then continues to hold it when he doesn’t, brings his knuckles up to his lips, kisses them softly. 

“I know it's a lot, but rest easy, Ethan. You are safe now. It will be okay”

He shuts the door behind him with a soft thud and the raven-haired beta is alone again. Turning slightly to the side, he continues to watch the tree branches outside, wishing all his thoughts could be swept away for a moment just as easily.

Chapter Text

The following day, Ethan wakes up earlier than usual, opens his eyes to a gloomy and cold dawn. The sky has taken an ashen, lead-like color, and he can’t help thinking how it mirrors a little bit how he feels inside. He’s tired, he’s spent the whole night in and out of sleep, replaying his conversation with Damiano in his head. 

Flashbacks flood his mind. Down on your knees, pretty boy. The alphas always made sure that he knew who he belonged to, that he didn’t forget his place. Though Damiano sounded different, behaved differently, Ethan couldn’t allow himself to believe this time would be any different. After all, he really wasn’t worth more than that, was he?

Slowly, unsteady, he rises, and takes two small steps towards the window, where he takes a look at the grey morning. Condensation on the outside of the window tells him that the temperature outside is probably far from warm, and nature seems to be engulfed in a light fog that's only beginning to lift. In the distance, he can see a big, brown wolf stretch his paws and go about his morning stroll. A shiver runs down his spine, and Ethan realizes he’s too tired to keep standing, so he lowers himself onto the bed again and remains lying down, staring at the ceiling just a little longer.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been, when the sound of knocking gets his attention. It’s Maso, bringing him breakfast with his usual smile.

“Good morning, my friend." 

Ethan does his best to return the smile, accepting the food he brings him. At last, he is able to feed himself, and no longer seems to need Vic and Maso’s help to complete a simple task. Maso observes him for a little while, not indifferent to the nervous aura that radiates off the black-haired boy.

“How are you feeling today, Ethan?” - he asks 

Ethan swallows his food, turns his head to Maso to speak.

“I’m okay. My leg is still a little sore, but I walked up to the window today.”

Maso smiles.

“You’re one hell of a fighter. We are very proud of you”

Ethan lets out a little chuckle, a shy “Thank you". Maso can still sense there is something else Ethan isn’t telling him, but doesn’t want to intrude on his space. He says, simply:

“Today you’ll become an official part of our pack” - he says - “we’re very happy to have you.”

Ethan nods in acknowledgment, smiles at Maso, trying to look as excited as he possibly can. In reality, it isn’t that he’s not excited. It is that he’s scared, for as happy as he is to become a part of the same pack that so kindly took him in. 

It’s that he’s trying to avoid his feelings, become numb, so when he finds himself in that same old situation later in the day, it won’t hurt as bad. It’s that he’s trying to tell himself he will be protected after that. 

That he won’t have to be alone again.

Damiano is unusually agitated. He thinks back to Ethan and their conversation from the previous day, he sees the pure terror reflected in the beta’s eyes, and he wonders if he’s made the right decision, jumping in so soon.

It’s for his own good. We can protect him like this. He’ll be safer. 

He thinks back to the day he claimed Vic and Maso as his betas, the day they officially became a pack. He remembers how scared they both were, even though they were so willing to put their trust in him blindly. And mostly, he remembers how he’d just known from the beginning they were meant to be a family and care for each other. Victoria had cuddled up in his arms for a long time, Maso had joined their hug shortly after; they’d remained together, bodies and souls, in something so much bigger than themselves. 

He wants to show Ethan that he is safe. That he is protected .

He feels Victoria’s hand on his shoulder.

“What is it?” 

There’s no fooling Victoria and her intuitive eyes. He places his hand over hers, which is still resting gently on him, and turns his head to give her a silent smile.

“You weren’t nervous when you did it to us” - she continues 

Damiano huffs a little laugh.

“You really think I wasn’t?” - he says - “it’s a big responsibility.”

Victoria pats his back.

“But you’re a good alpha."

“You didn’t see how scared he was yesterday, Vic. I feel bad for just jumping in like that, what if it’s too soon?” 

The blonde beta sighs. 

“You heard Manu as well as I did, we can't allow ourselves to wait around. He’ll be safer like this, as long as he stays with us, we can protect him.”

Damiano kisses Victoria 's cheek. 

“My wise little sister” - he says, softly caressing her hair - “what would I do without you?”

The witty answer is quick to come:

“You’d be miserable and stressing out over nothing” - she retorts, sticking out her tongue and immediately earning a laugh from the young alpha.

Damiano steps outside to catch a breath of fresh air, observing the woods in front of him that have always brought him so much calm and peace. He turns his head when something in the distance catches his attention, like a swift shadow moving in between trees. He looks for a couple seconds more; when he sees no movement, he dismisses the thought; it was probably just a small animal. 

The day has cleared up, and the sunlight peeks shyly from behind the pine trees. It will be a clear night, and the moon will be full. 

He feels the energy prickling at his fingertips, and a little pride flutters in his heart at the thought of his family growing. 

He’s ready.  

Night approaches fast, and by the time the sun hides completely, leaving a trail of fire in its wake, Ethan is no longer able to ignore the cold that has been pooling in his stomach. He thinks, frustrated, you’ve done this so many times, stupid boy, what’s so different now?

The difference, this time, is that Ethan allowed himself to think for a minute that things would be different. That he would be free, and not owned by another alpha, possessed like a doll.

On your knees, pretty boy. He’s lived on his knees for so long, it’s all he deserves. So when Damiano comes and demands it from him, when his hair is yanked back, he’ll just deliver, for his body no longer belongs to himself. Be good, and quiet, and it will eventually be over. 

When Vic brings him dinner, he doesn’t want to eat, he’s not hungry. Her face drops, a look akin to compassion takes over her eyes; not pity, never pity, just sympathy.

“If you don’t feel like eating, I won’t force you. I’ll just leave it here in case you get hungry.” - she says, with sincerity - “it will all be okay.”

He really wants to believe Victoria’s kind promises.

The blonde beta helps Ethan sit up, helps him clean himself with towels, as it’s become their routine; the black-haired boy still isn’t able to stand long enough for an actual shower. Then, she helps him change into another hooded sweater that he can still feel comfortable in, making sure all of his bandages are still in place. 

Then, she asks:

“Can I braid your hair, Ethan?”

Ethan thinks the request is strange, but he doesn’t mind. Victoria sits behind him on the bed, begins to separate the long, silky strands of hair, to then join them together in two long, dark braids that fall over his shoulders. She works quickly, but her fingers feel gentle and massage his scalp, and Ethan closes his eyes for a little bit to further enjoy the feeling.

When she’s finished, Victoria holds a mirror up to his eye level, and Ethan takes a good look at his face for the first time in a long time. He almost wants to scoff at how disgusting he feels, with his pasty skin tone, and sunken cheekbones and dark circles under his eyes. He thinks he looks like a corpse, and he can’t imagine why Damiano would want a beta like this when his other two look absolutely angelic. But he doesn’t question it. 

Victoria leaves, with a gentle pat to his shoulder, and he knows that the next time they see each other, it’ll be time. 

Ethan takes a deep breath. 

How long has it been? Minutes? Hours?

The moon is high up when the boy hears a knock on his door. The only source of light is the lamp placed on his nightstand, and all of a sudden, the air inside has become absolutely frigid (whether it comes from the outside or from the very feelings Ethan is experiencing, that he doesn’t know). 

“Come in.” - he mutters, voice hushed 

Damiano steps inside first, a little hesitant, as if still searching for the beta’s permission. The young alpha takes a look at the boy sitting on the bed, and his breath hitches in his throat for a second. Illuminated like that, the soft yellowish glow from the lamp just gracing his face slightly, with the two dark braids falling over his shoulders, Ethan is absolutely gorgeous, even in spite of his tired and still weakened looks.

The alpha smiles. Ethan notices he didn’t put a lot of effort in the way he is dressed; just a simple sweater and jeans, and his hair is loose and still damp, signaling he probably just showered.

“Hello, my friend.” - he greets, approaching him slowly, carefully, almost in the same way you’d approach a scared animal.

Behind him, Vic and Maso come in quietly to then sit on the floor right by the closed door. Ethan is now sitting up completely, legs dangling from the side of the bed, and Damiano moves to sit right beside him, then looking him in the eyes. 

“Are you ready?” - he asks, leaving a soft caress on his cheek 

Ethan nods wordlessly, and Damiano stretches his arm to turn off the lamp, leaving nothing but the soft, pale moonlight to illuminate the room, directly where they sit.

The nervous beta takes a shaky breath, steadies himself. Then, suppressing a whimper at the pain that this causes him, he slowly sinks down to his knees at Damiano’s feet and begins to undress.

Damiano is truly confused at first. Then, he notices the tears in Ethan’s eyes, and suddenly everything is so painfully clear. He feels stupid, for not seeing it before, for not having explained everything to him when he should’ve; he can’t imagine the anxiety he must have put him through all day. Of course Ethan has gone through that before, of course. 

The alpha is quick to lower himself down to his knees, in front of Ethan, then takes his hands in his own.

"No, no, my darling, stop.” - he says, shaking his head - “it’s none of what you’re thinking.”

Ethan looks up, confused, blushes furiously. Why is the alpha kneeling next to him? Has he changed his mind? Is he after all so useless, that he’s not even worthy of being claimed? 

“I thought… I thought you wanted to claim me, I-” - he says, brokenly.

Damiano softly caresses his hair.

“And I do” - he says - “I want to claim you as my beta, as a part of my family. Claim you, not mate you, dear Ethan.”

Ethan looks down, avoids the alpha’s gaze at all costs.

“They always told me that… that they’d take me as theirs, and then they…” - he begins, though he knows he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

He doesn’t need to. Damiano knows where this is going. 

“Look at me” 

He tilts his chin up, to make sure they’re making eye contact.

“I am so, so sorry, my dear.” - he says, sincerely - “you are yours, and yours alone, not anyone’s property. Me claiming you tonight only means you become a part of this pack, this family, in a way other packs will recognize too. It doesn’t make me your owner, and it doesn’t give me any right to your body, or your freedom, or anything of the sort. If anything, it makes us all responsible for taking care of each other.”

Ethan is absolutely speechless, he’d never thought this possible.

“I will never force myself onto you, or do anything without your explicit permission.” - he reassures - “allow me to explain to you what’s going to happen tonight? I failed you, dear Ethan, I am so sorry I didn't explain it to you before, I'm sorry I assumed you knew.”

Ethan just stares at the young alpha in awe, as he cups his cheeks with his hands. He places two fingers, gently, on his neck, just below his ear.

“I’m going to leave a bite on you, right here" - he says - "Then, I’ll keep you next to me a little longer, our scents will be on each other, and the deed is done. I would normally do this in my wolf form, but I don’t think you’re ready for it, so we’ll do it like this.”

Damiano stops for a little to test out for his reaction. Then, proceeds.

“And keep in mind, a single word from you and we will stop. We will stop the exact moment you tell me you need to, okay?”

The moonlight is now illuminating the pair in all of its wonder, and, as anxious as Ethan feels, there’s something else coursing through his veins, something he can’t quite name.

“Close your eyes.”

Damiano keeps one hand on his cheek, then gets closer, and closer, until Ethan can feel his breath on his skin. A small whimper leaves his throat. 

“Hush now. You're safe. There's no need to be scared. ”

Damiano is nuzzling his nose against the crook of his neck, his breath feels warm and all of a sudden, he’s not as afraid. The alpha’s fangs graze over his soft skin. Ethan holds his breath as he gently bites down on it. It doesn’t exactly hurt, it’s more of a discomfort, a light burning feeling that quickly subsides.

When Ethan opens his eyes, and Damiano’s seem to be glowing, the alpha smiles at him, and a little bit of surprise takes over his features as he notices the faintest hint of golden that shows up timidly behind the dark brown irises. He doesn’t tell him this right away, he doesn’t mean to upset him just now, he needs his full focus.

The alpha's hands guide him closer, gently; he rests his chin on the beta’s shoulder, soothes him. 

Before Ethan can do anything about it, he feels the hot tears that are gliding down his cheeks. Damiano is now running a hand up and down his back and whispers:

“Shh, shh, you’re okay.” - he hushes - “welcome to the family. Welcome. You will always be safe with us. We will always take care of you.”

His voice breaks a little at the end, and when the boys pull a little away from their hug, Ethan can see there are tears in the alpha’s eyes as well.

Small sobs are now shaking his body, as a weird catharsis of all unnamed things he can’t quite understand yet. Damiano holds him, solid as a rock, rocks him gently.

“You’re safe. I promise. Leave all your pain, all your fear behind.”

They lift their eyes to realize Vic and Maso are still sitting a short distance from them, Vic’s head against Maso’s shoulder. With a smile, Damiano invites the twins to join their hug. Vic kisses Ethan’s forehead, Maso kisses Ethan’s cheek, they whisper a soft “Welcome” and let themselves be engulfed by the strong, safe embrace.

There’s something coursing through the four of them, even without words they just know it’s the exact same thing, an overwhelming love just echoing on their chests, their minds, and Ethan has never felt anything like this before. 

Is this what being part of a pack feels like? 

Even if unsure of what’s to come, Ethan just lets himself fall on the warm, comforting sensation. And Damiano, he’s certain every pack in the vicinity can feel the echo of his immense pride in his family. 

Hugging under the pale moonlight just like that, none of them has ever felt as powerful.

Chapter Text

The next morning, instead of Vic or Maso as usual, it’s Damiano who comes in to check on Ethan, examining his wounds with care, and happily noticing that they continue to heal surprisingly fast. Ethan is unusually serene, though he still flinches away from him, instinctively, at times; inside the beta, the storm of the past few days seems to have faded, even if leaving a mess of new sensations in its wake that he can’t quite yet digest. 

He realizes Damiano still hasn’t mentioned the previous night, maybe not to make it awkward for him, maybe waiting for him to be the first to speak. Mustering all of his bravery, and making a colossal effort to leave the shyness behind, he says:

“Thank you, Damiano” - he manages to blurt out, timidly, and a small smile graces his face for a split second.

Damiano chuckles, returning the smile, noticing the faint blush on the beta’s cheeks.

“Nothing to thank me for, dear.”

Ethan stutters a bit before putting out the words:

“I have a lot to thank you for…” - he begins - “for taking care of me… and taking me in, and… and for last night.”

When Damiano looks into his eyes, he conveys so much sincerity that it’s hard for anyone not to believe him.

“It was my pleasure. I hope I was able to show you that not everything has to be as terrifying from now on.”

Ethan nods. 

“There’s so much I still don’t understand”

The other boy takes his hand, caresses the back softly with his thumb.

“We will teach you everything you need to know.” - he reassures - “at your pace, no need to rush it. We’ll be with you every step of the way.” 

Ethan is, once more, deeply moved by the genuine gentleness Damiano shows him constantly. He’s not used to this concept of being in charge of his own body, of his own mind. 

“I have a proposal for you” - Damiano then goes on, changing the subject - “seeing that you’re getting stronger day by day, and that your leg is looking so much better, how would you feel about coming out of the room and having breakfast with us today?” 

Ethan smiles, gives him a small, shy nod.

“I would very much like that.”

Ethan puts an arm around Damiano’s shoulders for support, and the boy wraps an arm around his waist, helping him to his feet. He waits a second before he’s sure Ethan is steady.

“Alright, lean on me.” - he says - “there we go.”

Ethan’s steps are small, and careful, and Damiano still holds on to his waist and supports part of his weight as they move forward and out of the room. Almost all of Ethan’s trips out of bed so far have been to his bathroom, and that one time Maso had showed him his and Vic’s room, next door. Other than that, he still had not had a chance to notice the details of the place; as they move onto the kitchen, together, Ethan appreciates how cozy everything looks, and that the pack did make an effort to turn their house into a home where they could feel safe and comfortable. There are pictures in the shelves, and books, lots of books, and there are plenty of windows to let the light in. Ethan realizes it's a home for a family, and he's never seen anything like it. 

Vic is sitting at the table, mindlessly bringing a spoonful of cereal to her mouth, while Maso has his back turned to them, focused on his work on the countertop. Damiano announces their presence:

“Look who I found!” - he says, with a laugh, helping Ethan sit on a chair.

Vic, the spontaneous bolt of lightning she is, stands up to carefully engulf the beta in a hug. 

“I’m so glad you joined us!”

It’s Maso’s turn to approach the table, placing the plate of toast he'd been making in front of Ethan.

“Good morning!” - he greets, then returning to the countertop to get the rest of the plates.

Damiano takes a seat in front of him, watching as his newfound beta observes everything carefully. To Ethan, everything seems so unusually domestic, the bond between them so natural, he can’t quite yet believe he gets to be a part of it, just like that. A painful flashback takes over his thoughts for a moment, and when everyone’s sitting at the table, munching on their breakfasts in silence, Ethan clears his throat, making the three heads turn at him, signaling to him that he has their attention.

“I- I feel like I should tell you my story.” - he begins, cursing himself mentally for being so bad with words.

Vic is the first to reply.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it pains you, Ethan” - she reassures - “we have a fairly good idea of what happened to you already. If you’re not comfortable, we don’t need to know the specifics.”

Ethan shakes his head.

“You’ve taken me in, no questions asked. It’s time I show you I trust you, too. Or at least I’m learning to.” - he says 

The other three nod and fall silent, giving him space to go on.

“I come from being a… house pet, as they called me. I didn’t have just one owner, I’d just go from one house to the other from time to time, but I'd always return to what they called the home base.” - he says, bluntly, trying to swallow down the ball of emotions that is beginning to form a knot in his throat - “I was human at all times, I don’t remember being a wolf at all… some of the alphas just turned into their wolf form when they wanted to… scare me. My only job was to please the alphas in any way they wanted, no matter what they demanded of me. If I misbehaved, there’d be consequences… of all sorts.” 

Ethan looks down, suddenly self-conscious. Victoria hastily gets up from her seat to crouch down beside Ethan, placing her hand on his thigh.

“We know. All of that is over now.” 

Ethan puts his hand on hers; for a moment, they are united in such an indescribable pain they can’t put it into words; they just feel each other’s touch, and when Ethan notices the faded marks on Vic’s neck, as well as on Maso’s, he knows they’ve forged a bond in something no one else can quite comprehend.

Damiano looks down, a face suddenly so serious no one can read what's going through his mind. He looks mostly upset at Ethan’s horrible tale, but when he looks up, his eyes are soft again. He speaks up, setting down his mug of coffee back on the table:

“Can I just ask something that's been puzzling me?” - is his question, receiving Ethan's nod as a reply - "how did you get out?"

Ethan shrugs.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know” - he says - “I know I was chained, and then somehow I broke the chains, and ran away…I don't know, it seems like something took over me for a while, it's all a bit blurry, honestly. Then I ended up here... and the rest of the story, well, you know it”

There’s a moment of heavy silence between the pack members, where they all seem to be thinking of what to say next and how to phrase it properly.

It’s Maso who speaks up this time, looking directly at Ethan.

“We will figure it all out together, Ethan. You will be a wolf again, and you will heal, and everything will be okay.” - he reassures 

Somehow, he sounds so certain of it, Ethan really, really, really wants to believe everything he is saying. He doesn’t yet know how it’s possible, he doesn’t even know where to start unravelling the mess that is going on inside his brain, his fears, his traumas and his jumbled up repressed memories. But just for a second, he believes Maso, and he smiles at him, a silent, shy Thank you .

Seeing the sudden heaviness that has installed itself between the pack, it is the alpha’s turn to make a suggestion when they all seem to be done with their meals.

“What if we go outside a bit?” - he says - “all four of us, I mean”

He looks at Ethan on this last part of the sentence. Ethan looks unsure, so Damiano is quick to explain him his plan:

“They like to shift and do some exercise outside, a stretch of the paws, let’s say.” - he clarifies, with a chuckle - “I usually go with them, but today, if that’s okay, I could stay with you while we watch them.”

“I’m…” - Ethan hesitates a little and doesn’t yet finish the sentence 

However, given everything they just talked about, Damiano understands where his insecurity is coming from.

“I know, Ethan” - he says - “I’m just thinking maybe it’d be good for you to start getting used to being around our wolves, not only to lose your fears, but to help you get in touch with yourself again. After all, you are one of us, but if you don’t feel like you’re ready yet, I can stay inside with you”

The raven haired boy inhales, exhales, slowly, soothing himself. Damiano isn’t wrong. He is, after all, one of them. The morning outside looks clear and inviting, the pale blue sky does not announce rain anytime soon, and Ethan hasn’t been properly outside… in he doesn’t even remember how long. 

After a minute, he brings himself to nod, looking up at his alpha.

“Okay” - he agrees

The alpha smiles brightly at him, helps him to his feet again while the twins leave to go outside first. Damiano gives him a blanket to wrap around his shoulders and takes him to their porch, where they sit comfortably on the steps. 

“Everything okay?” - he asks, making sure Ethan is not in pain or any discomfort

Ethan gives him a simple "Yeah", then looks in front of him, observing his surroundings and the quiet morning scene. There’s not yet a sign of the twins. Damiano speaks, interrupting the silence:

“There’s just one thing I want to ask of you, can I?” - he questions, waiting for Ethan’s confirmation - “two things, actually. This is part of your… healing, if you want to call it that, so the first thing is, anything you want to ask any of us, no matter how stupid it sounds to you, you ask . Second thing is, the moment you feel like what we're doing is too much, you tell whoever’s with you. You will always set the pace and the boundaries here. Does it sound good to you?”

Ethan is moved . It will never cease to amaze him that someone actually does take his opinions into consideration in this way. He nods, smiling at Damiano.

“Good. Now look, here they are” - he says, pointing somewhere to their left 

The black haired boy, at first, doesn’t see anything. Then, just a second later, two identical wolves are standing close to them, one is slightly shorter than the other. Their fur is beautiful and golden, and Ethan can’t help but notice there are a few discoloured patches in their necks that lack some. Their snouts look surprisingly friendly, and it’s when Ethan notices their eyes that he truly understands; these are his friends. Their irises shine with a golden, yellowish color, and convey so much emotion, he knows they’re too human to be simple wolves. These never stopped being his friends, his pack mates . 

One of them, the smaller one, approaches Ethan.

Go slow, guys. 

With gentleness, she places her muzzle on Ethan’s legs, it’s warm and strangely comforting. Even if he flinches back a little, Damiano’s voice encourages him.

“Don’t be scared.” - he says

Playfully, Damiano takes Vic’s muzzle into his hands, starts ruffling the fur, between her ears, in her neck, leaving it all unruly. Vic growls amicably, places her paws on his lap, then licks his entire face until Damiano is on his back, the young wolf’s heavy paws on his chest keeping him down, and loud, crystal clear laughter leaving his chest.

"That's not fair, Vic!" - he’s yelling between laughs 

Then, something happens. Ethan watches the scene unfold before him in awe, Maso is standing by his side, observing his mates as well, and Ethan feels something completely unknown bubble up inside his chest. It’s not fear, it’s not pain, it’s something else entirely… his body feels lighter, his brain is temporarily invaded with a fuzzy, warm feeling that he doesn’t have a name for, but that he knows he enjoys. 

And so, Ethan’s mouth curves up in a smile. Then, a small bout of genuine laughter leaves his chest, and everything stops, Damiano sits up with Vic by his side and Ethan himself must have a look of shock in his face, because what the hell was this . 

Damiano lets out another laugh, and the twins come a little closer to him. Ethan can feel his cheeks heating up:

“I don’t know what this was, sorry, I-”

Damiano shakes his head, takes his hand.

“Why are you apologizing, Ethan? It’s so good to see you laugh”

In the meantime, the twins have run off to stand a few meters from where they’re sitting, running around, playfully hitting each other. That same feeling from before still bubbles on Ethan’s chest, an echo of something so joyful he can’t wrap his mind around it.

“I just… it’s a feeling inside, I can’t… I’m not even sure it came from me, it was so weird, it happened the same thing last night.”

Damiano’s eyes light up a little in recognition. 

“That’s amazing news!" - he says, excitedly - “Let me teach you your first lesson: what you just experienced, dear Ethan, is called a projection, and I didn’t think you would experience it so soon, but here we are."

Ethan is now looking completely lost, and Damiano huffs out a small laugh at his confusion.

“When you are part of a pack, you are part of a bond that stretches way beyond the limit of our understanding. Our bodies, our minds, our souls, and most importantly, our wolves are connected to each other, in a way that each pack has its own kind of… collective mind.” - he explains, patiently - “the moment I marked the three of you as my betas, I was bound to you, as you were to me. What happens is, whenever one of us is projecting strong emotions, the four of us will feel it, like… it’s like they echo on us. If one of us, for example, is experiencing a strong pain, the others will feel it too, even if you can understand it's not coming from you. But inversely, if one of us is feeling a strong feeling of joy, the four of us will feel it, like you just did." 

Ethan nods in understanding. 

“That’s why watching you and Victoria made me laugh… and that’s why I felt it wasn’t all coming from me?” - he asks 

Damiano confirms. 

“Precisely. And this is beautiful for two reasons, Ethan” - he replies - “first, it means your bond with the pack is strong, and very much alive. And second, it means your wolf is there somewhere, otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to feel this bond with us. We just need to find out how to wake it up, now” 

The beta looks overwhelmed at everything he just heard. Unexpectedly, before he realizes what he’s doing, he engulfs Damiano in a hug, his arms around his neck, his face in his chest. Damiano is taken aback at first, but then, gently wraps his arms around Ethan as well.

“I’m sorry.” - Ethan apologizes again, out of habit

It’s become so much of a routine to him he sometimes won’t even know what he’s apologizing for. Damiano’s embrace doesn’t falter, and in a way, even without words, he tells him he won’t let go until he’s ready to.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. This is a great, great start.” - he reassures - “you’ll be joining them before you know it.”

They part the hug, and Ethan remains sitting beside him, wrapped in his blanket, watching the twins being their true selves, so free, so unafraid. Something seems to have changed inside him, something that truly wasn’t there before.

Forgetting his worries for just a minute, as the soft winter breeze caresses his rosy cheeks, Ethan finally feels like he truly belongs somewhere . 

Chapter Text

“Maso, no! No, no, hold on, please” - Vic screams, though her voice seems to get lost in the void, never reaching her brother

Maso is lying absolutely motionless on the cold, icy floor, eyes closed and skin so pale it almost blends in with the pile of snow they’re laying on. Victoria shakes him, and shakes him, but he’s not responding, and she feels the strength leaving her body, but she can’t, she can’t give up on him, she can't just let him go like that.

“Maso, wake up, wake up, please, Maso!” - she’s begging, voice breaking, not even sure if he’s listening anymore - "Maso!"

 

Vic sits up in bed with a blood curdling scream, sweating, panting, whimpering. The worst part is that she knows it wasn’t a dream, that it wasn’t a mere product of her imagination, that it had all been painfully real at some point in her past, and her brain made sure to not let her forget about the night they had been left alone outside, before Damiano found them. 

Pulled out of sleep by her shrill scream, and by the echo of sheer sorrow that hit them like a punch to the stomach, Damiano and Ethan are standing in the doorway, watching Maso sit up and pull Vic close, impossibly close to him.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I’m right here, Vic. I’m right here. I’m okay. We're okay. It was just a dream."

Even though they know Maso has his sister safe in his arms, and even if Ethan is leaning slightly against the doorway so as not to put his whole weight on top of his healing leg, they stay, making sure the twins are okay, feeling the unexplainable urge to stick around and be close to them. 

“Maso, you were…”

Maso doesn’t need her to tell him what she just dreamed of; in fact, he somehow just knows it’s the same flashback that haunts his own dreams so often. 

“I know, darling, I know.” - he assures her - “but tell me, Vic, you know it, tell me what happened after that"

Vic knows what he’s doing, they’ve done it to each other so many times, to ground each other firmly in reality, to remind each other that they’re safe, that their pain is long gone.

She begins to retell him the story he has heard so many times.

All she knows is that it’s too cold and too dark and she is holding his cold body in her arms, holding onto him for dear life. Everything feels hopeless, and she doesn’t think they have a chance of making it through the freezing night, but she refuses to let go of him. They’ll stay together, to the very end if they must. 

Then, a pair of bright red eyes is shining in the dark right next to them, and a figure approaches them. Vic understands it’s a young man, an alpha, even if she can’t quite make out his features. He comes closer, close enough that she can see the scar that runs across his cheek, then stops.  Vic flinches back, holds Maso tighter, growls at the stranger, flashes him her golden eyes even if it takes her all of her fading strength to do it. He raises his hands defensively.

“You’re in my territory.” - he says, then noticing the state these strangers are in - “what happened to you?”

Victoria doesn’t reply, just keeps protecting Maso’s body with her own. The stranger continues, his voice low, and calm.

“Your mate over there seems to be ill. I can try to help, if you want to come with me.”

Victoria growls at the stranger again. 

“My brother. He’s my brother.”

He sighs, crouches next to her.

“He seems more dead than alive already, and you don’t look too good yourself” - Damiano states - “you won’t last long out there like this”

She looks at her twin, looks at Damiano, looks at her twin again, considers her options. If they’re probably going to be dead by morning anyway, they don’t have much to lose anymore. 

“Can you really help us?” 

Damiano nods. Victoria shuffles slightly to the side, giving the stranger full access to both. He approaches them, slowly. 

“There is no need to be afraid” - he reassures - “are you able to walk so I can carry your brother?”

Victoria nods, standing up on wobbly legs, allows Damiano to take Maso in his arms, follows close behind, watching his every move. 

“Can you tell me your name?” - he asks, as they move along 

“Victoria. And my brother is Maso” - she says 

Damiano gives her a small smile.

“Nice to meet you, Victoria. I’m Damiano”

After making sure she is as warm as possible, sitting on the floor beside him, Damiano works until morning light is breaking through, to ensure that, after hours and hours, Maso is still alive and breathing. When he is finally resting safely under blankets, and his condition is stable enough to say with fair certainty that he is mostly out of the woods, Damiano takes the time to gently tend to Vic’s wounds, less urgent, but no less worthy of care. Her walls are finally crumbling, and under all that fire and mistrust, Damiano can see a very scared young wolf who’s been through too much already.

“Easy now. I’m not going to hurt you. You are safe here, Victoria”

“Thank you for saving him ” - she says - “and me”

Damiano smiles, shakes his head, continues to care for her the best he can, with a gentleness that truly surprises Vic. 

“I imagine you don’t have anywhere to go” - he says - “you can stay with me. As long as you need to.”

Maso wakes up a few hours later, mostly scared, confused, and Vic observes quietly as Damiano reassures the young beta that everything is okay, that there are no reasons for his fear. 

 

Vic remembers. Vic remembers it all so well, how their bond formed right there and then, how she had cried in Damiano’s arms so many times the first few months. Teary-eyed, she looks up over Maso’s shoulder to see the other half of the pack watching over them, protectively. She beckons them to come closer; Ethan sits beside Maso on the bed, Damiano crouches on the floor right in front of her, taking her hands. His look is knowing, and when he grabs her hands, she knows she has no need for words. He reaches up to wipe a tear from her cheek.

“Go back to sleep, darling” - he says, his voice a soft whisper - “you’re safe. Your brother is here with you, safe and sound.”

Vic brings their foreheads close together, and both shut their eyes for a moment, just feeling each other’s presence. She knows that Damiano is fully aware that she has relived that night in her dreams again.

Ethan is feeling kind of lost in the middle of the whole scene, but Victoria brings him a little closer.

“I’m sorry I woke you up ” - she says, sincerely - “as you can see, you’re not the only one with scars”

Ethan smiles at her, sympathetically, and holds her hand for a little longer. Maso then places a kiss on her temple, caresses her cheek, and Vic feels the overwhelming wave of love that reaches her.

“Let’s go back to sleep, we all need to rest” - he says, earning a nod of approval from the rest of the pack - “good night. And thank you”

As the twins lay back down, huddled closer together, and Maso whispers soft reassurances to Vic for just the two of them to hear, Damiano and Ethan move out of the room, shutting the door behind them. Ethan's expression his blank, as the beta is thinking deeply about something Damiano can't quite guess.

“Are you okay, Ethan?” - the alpha asks, touching his shoulder softly, his voice bringing Ethan back to reality 

“Yeah. Yeah, I just wish Vic didn’t have to go through this, too. Or any of you, really.”

Damiano smiles sadly, as he helps Ethan settle back into the bed.

“I know. But, hey, at least we have each other.” - he says 

Ethan nods, then says:

“Maso told me they were both really sick when you found them” 

Damiano’s face goes suddenly serious, he’s obviously flashing back to that night, too, to having found two helpless creatures right by his home, and to how Victoria, even in her state, had refused to let go of her twin.

“I honestly didn’t think they stood a chance” - he confesses to Ethan - “Maso was practically dead, Vic wasn’t too far either, but they had so much fight in them in spite of everything… they pulled through, they just needed a safe place to recover. I think their bond is what saved them, too, made them hold on to life until I found them”

Ethan sighs.

“They’re something special” - he replies, smiling at the alpha 

Damiano chuckles, good natured.

“That they are. And so are you. I’m absolutely amazed by your progress every day” - he praises - “lucky me for having found the three of you.”

The beta smiles at him, and his eyes tell Damiano so much more than he can put in words; bit by bit, he can see Ethan feels safer and safer around him, around all of them, and he can’t help the spark of pride that makes his heart flutter.

“You saved all of us” - Ethan says, his face now so much more serious 

Damiano shakes his head. 

“You saved me too, you know.” - he says - “a lone wolf can’t go far. You'll see, Ethan, the bond between a pack is the strongest force in the universe.”

Ethan senses that there is more lying underneath that sentence, more that Damiano wants to tell him and doesn’t, more about his story that is waiting to be told. However, he doesn’t press, leaves it at that.

Damiano sighs softly, waits for Ethan to settle comfortably under the covers. 

“Good night, Ethan” - he says, giving him a wink - “I’ll be in my room if you need me, alright?”

Ethan nods, thanks him.

“Good night, Damiano. Thank you” 

This time, it’s Damiano who gets up from bed after long hours of staring sleeplessly at the ceiling, lost in his own maze of thoughts, wandering around in the dark for a while, to finally settle down by the window of the living room, staring at the quiet night outside. He realizes he has absolutely no idea of what time it is, he just knows it's the middle of the night, and for now, that's all he needs to know.

The words from his nightmare still echo in his mind.

After all, you killed her, didn’t you?

You didn’t even care about your own brother. 

You should’ve died right then.

Damiano takes a deep, shaky breath, wipes a stray tear that glides slowly, treacherously down his cheek, and, for a moment, he’s glad none of his pack mates are there to see it. Not that the twins haven’t seen him cry before.

He allows all the bitterness to come out of his body, allows himself to cry for just a little longer. Then, he quietly gets up and makes his way back to his bedroom, until he’s lying back in bed and gets warm enough between the covers. 

You’ve done good, too. You’ve done a lot of good, is what he tells himself. 

At last, his brain is quiet for a moment, and Damiano enjoys the momentary silence that lulls him back to sleep. 

Chapter Text

The older man’s mouth curves up in a twisted smile, and a dark chuckle leaves his chest. His stance, the way he holds himself, it all tells the other that nothing has changed. 

“And so…” - he begins, with a dramatic gesture of the hand - “the prodigal son has returned”

The young man’s eyes flash a bright crimson for a moment; then, he speaks, his voice low, dangerously low, an unspoken threat lying underneath his every word.

“I didn’t return for you, Manu” - he says, nearly spitting the sentence through gritted teeth 

Manu comes up to him, menacingly close, puffs his chest, almost touches him on the arm but just not quite, and yet, still close enough to almost ignite something, like a spark so dangerously close to the fuel.

“ Good. Because if it were up to me, we both know you wouldn’t be here right now, I'd have done to you what I did to that other one”

A muffled snarl echoes through the other man’s throat, and the tension in the air is tangible, on the verge of exploding at any second. Manu pats his shoulder, laughs sarcastically.

“See you around, old friend”

Then, he leaves the room.

Chapter Text

Ethan tosses and turns in bed after the same exact nightmare wakes him up for the fourth time, watches as the moon outside climbs high, signaling every passing hour he can see on the blinking numbers of the clock that stands on his bedside table. For as much as he tries, he simply can’t bring himself to fall asleep again, and allow his body and his mind their much needed slumber. 

With a sigh, he sits up. His confidence in his ability to walk is getting stronger, and as the wounds get closer to healing completely, it hurts less to move around on his own. So he thinks of going to sit outside his room for a bit or just wash his face, do something to keep his hands busy, distract his brain from whatever horrible thoughts are trying to take over. He gets to his feet, takes one small step after the other, shivering slightly at the cold that hits him once he’s no longer under the blankets. Bit by bit, he’s out of the room, and keeps treading his way in the dark, even if not entirely sure of where he wants to go. 

Then, Ethan decides to go sit in the kitchen for a little while; there’s a big glass door there that lets him look out to the woods outside and enjoy the stillness that always comes with the dead of night. He moves slowly, carefully, trying to be as quiet as possible and not disturb his mates’ sleep; halfway through it, though, his leg starts to cramp awfully, protesting at the sudden effort it’s been forced to make; he can feel the muscle contract painfully, and almost curses out loud at the feeling, but keeps going, not wanting to stop until he reaches his destination, maybe out of stubbornness, maybe because he just feels like he needs to be able to do it by himself.

He’s almost there, just by the kitchen door that’s been left ajar, when, all of a sudden, his leg betrays him, fails to support his weight for a second and Ethan falls with a dry thud, hitting his forehead on the floor in the process. He sits up, looking around for a couple of seconds, stunned and feeling the pain coming from his head and his leg, until the kitchen door opens right in front of him. 

He feels two hands on his shoulders, and hears a colorful string of swear words, before a sentence comes out:

“Holy shit, Ethan, are you okay, are you hurt?” 

Damiano is helping him to his feet, makes him sit on a chair by the table to then sit right in front of him. 

“I’m…” - he begins, still trying to understand what the hell just happened.

Damiano barely gives him the time to answer.

“Fucking hell, you’re hurt” - he says, noticing how Ethan is keeping his hand covering a bit of his forehead, a pained look on his face - “let me see.”

He reaches out, Ethan flinches back slightly. Damiano reminds himself to go slower. He keeps his tone gentle, but firm, looks Ethan in the eyes.

“Dear, let me see”

Ethan takes his hand away, noticing how his fingers have a little blood in them, and the alpha examines it quickly, then stepping away to get a paper tissue. Slowly, gently, he starts dabbing at the small scratch, making sure it stops bleeding, and noticing how Ethan’s healing process is about to start closing the wound, even if still very slowed down, so much faster than it had been the previous weeks.

Ethan gazes up at the alpha, who’s working steadily, and their gazes meet for a brief second, making Damiano smile at him. Then, he puts the tissue away and ever so gently caresses Ethan’s cheek.

“There you go, all patched up” - he announces, light hearted - “let me grab you an ice pack, that’s going to bruise”

Ethan holds the cold object to his aching forehead, even though he can feel the pain is already easing a little. Damiano sits back in front of him, gives him a questioning look, raised eyebrows. Ethan tries to explain:

“I-... I couldn’t sleep” - he begins

The alpha's mouth curves up slightly, in a smile that looks mostly sad.

“Oh, dear” - he says - “why didn’t you call anyone? Not that I don’t appreciate you making it this far on your own, but you could’ve been seriously hurt.”

Ethan hesitates for a second before replying:

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to disturb you again, and I just wish I could do something by myself, not be as useless for once and -”

Damiano cuts him short, shaking his head.

“Listen, you are not useless, and you never disturb me, or anyone” - he says - “you may be making amazing progress, Ethan, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still recovering. Please don’t throw it all away now”

The beta sighs, a bit frustrated, then looks down, apologizes. Damiano carefully brings him closer into a gentle hug.

“Look at me. You didn't do anything wrong” - he reassures - “I was just worried, that’s all”

They are silent for a little bit, before Damiano speaks again, seeing that Ethan can't yet bring himself to say anything back.

“Well, I was having a bit of a sleepless night too, and I made tea” - he informs - “what do you say we get two cups and move to the couch? It’s warmer there”

Ethan smiles, nods, watches as he carries two steaming hot mugs to the living room, and allows him to then help him take small, controlled steps so his leg won’t falter him again. Then, they both sit on the couch, a blanket draped over their legs, a mug of the warm beverage between their hands.

Damiano asks:

“Why weren’t you able to sleep?” 

Ethan shrugs, taking a sip of his tea.

“The usual. Nightmares”

Damiano lets out a soft sigh.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Ethan chuckles, without any humor in it.

“I don’t think you’ll want to hear about it.”

Damiano places a hand over Ethan’s cold one.

“If it helps you, I do.”

Ethan shivers a little, as the images replay permanently on the back of his mind. He inhales, exhales deeply, then, carefully speaks:

“I dreamt of… my former alpha” - he confesses - “not him, exactly, the… the eyes, the red eyes, it’s just…”

Damiano just nods, signaling that he is listening.

“The red eyes are the worst part, he used to…” - Ethan stops himself, feels that familiar knot closing his throat again, exhales sharply - “I’m sorry, Damiano, I know this isn’t you, and you’re so different, and you’re good, but-”

The other boy just shushes him, sets his mug on the coffee table for a moment to hold both of Ethan’s hands.

“You keep apologizing for something that is not your fault, dear ” - he says - “I’m not offended by the fact that you’re scared, Ethan, I want to help you through it. Do the red eyes still scare you?"

Ethan is glad the dim lighting coming from outside doesn’t allow Damiano to see the faint blush on his face; he feels so childish at these fears, these insecurities, that he can’t bring himself to look his alpha in the face. 

“There's nothing to be ashamed of. I,we, can only help you if we know what troubles you.” - he asks, sincerely - “that is something we can work on together, then. Don’t worry”

The beta just smiles, nods, gratefully, and Damiano resumes sipping his tea. This time, it’s Ethan’s voice interrupting the quiet.

“And you… why couldn’t you sleep?”

Damiano smiles, huffs out a chuckle.

“Same as you” - he confesses - “but nothing to worry about. I’m used to it.”

Ethan doesn’t know what to reply, he hates that he feels powerless and can’t think of, at least, a comforting thing to say to him. Damiano can sense his discomfort, pats his leg.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m okay, I promise.” - he reassures - “in fact, it’s doing a world of good right now to be here chatting, even though you scared me half to death back there.”

Ethan smiles, laughs sheepishly at this, and both young wolves finish their mugs of tea in silence. Ethan brings a hand to his forehead, notices the bleeding has stopped. Then, he decides to ask a question he’s been thinking of for a while:

“Damiano, can I ask you a question?” - he begins - “it’s just… curiosity.”

Damiano looks a little surprised, but nods immediately.

“Of course, go ahead.”

Ethan is already regretting ever having asked, now too worked up to get the words out properly. Eventually, he begins:

“You’re… you’re really good at this healing thing.” - he says, rather awkwardly, pointing to his forehead where the scratch is barely visible anymore - “how?” 

Damiano can’t help the giggle that comes out. 

“Well, thank you.” - he replies, then takes a more serious tone, though never losing the smile - “my brother was a… healer of sorts. His name was Poppo, and he helped a lot of folk like us. He knew literally everything there’s to know about healing, and remedies, and poisons, and bones and muscles, you name it, that man was a walking book. And one day I just began helping him, working with him, and everything he knew, he passed it onto me. Not much of a fascinating story, huh?”

Ethan can't help but notice that Damiano refers to his brother in the past tense; it’s not hard for him to put two and two together, but he doesn’t want to ask, he doesn’t want to intrude. Damiano can obviously sense his inner struggle.

“He passed away, yes.” - he replies to the question the beta didn’t put out in words

Ethan’s face drops, he tries to think of something to comfort Damiano but he can’t.

“I’m… I’m so sorry.” - he says, genuinely - “I shouldn’t have asked”

The alpha just shakes his head, reassuringly.

“Don’t worry. You didn’t know” - he replies - “it’s been a long time. Plus, it’s okay, of course I miss him a lot, but I’m happy here, and I’m never alone, so… time and seeing things from a distance ease the pain a little, Ethan, believe me”

They change the subject, talk quietly for a little bit more, and even though the mugs in their hands are empty and have gone cold, they feel a warmth between the two that is as unfamiliar for Ethan as it is welcome. 

Eventually, when they come to yet another minute of quiet between the both, Ethan’s eyelids are starting to feel heavy, and his head falls to the side just a little bit, so it’s resting on Damiano’s shoulder. When Ethan realizes, though, he pulls back, the sudden reaction taking Damiano by surprise at first; then, however, he turns to him tucks a long strand of Ethan’s dark hair behind his ear, smiles.

“That’s alright.” - he says, chuckling a little, but not mocking him, never mocking him - “you know, we are very touchy creatures when in a pack, we need it for our wellbeing. I know you were taught to fear it, but touch in itself is actually a love language, too. Don’t punish yourself for needing it.”

Ethan sighs, nods, tries to accept what Damiano is telling him, even if he’s struggling a little to believe it.

Damiano then surprises him by pecking his forehead ever so gently, then guiding him up to stand again.

“Come, darling. Let’s try to sleep a little.” - he suggests - “tomorrow is a new day.”

Chapter Text

Ethan wakes up late the next morning, having fallen asleep shortly after his chat with Damiano in the living room.

Looking out his bedroom window, he realizes it’s snowing, and a blanket of white covers everything outside, giving it all a mesmerizingly beautiful look. He observes quietly, in amazement, for a small moment, absorbing the breathtaking view. Then, he decides to slowly get out of bed and start walking out of the room, this time taking support in the furniture around him when he can, and taking small breaks throughout the way, so he can avoid getting hurt.

When he reaches the living room, the scenario he's faced with is a bit different from the usual, as he immediately notices a whole collection of blankets and pillows spread out all over. Right in front of the couch, the coffee table has been moved to another spot, and he sees Damiano lying on the floor, giggling like a small child. Right by his side, with her head placed on his shoulder and his arm around her, lies Vic, she, too, with a bright smile on her face. Maso has his head against Damiano’s belly and is gesticulating and laughing loudly. Ethan is taken aback by an unexpected warmth on his chest at the loving scene. Vic raises her eyes to notice the presence of the black-haired beta.

“Ethan! Come join us!” 

Damiano raises his head from the pillow where he is laying, beckons for him to get closer.

“C'mon, join the mess!” 

Ethan smiles, and shyly walks up to them and lowers himself to sit next to the pile of limbs that his mates have become.

“Come! Lay down!” - she invites 

Ethan chuckles, then, still unsure, accepts their invite, rests right next to them. It’s warm between all of them, despite the cold outside. The initial wariness slips away, and he allows his tense muscles to relax a little bit. Vic kisses his temple, smiles, and Ethan just returns the smile happily. 

“Remember what I told you about touching?” - Damiano asks - “this is exactly what I meant”

“Sounds good to me” - Ethan says, genuinely, feeling safe, comfortable.

They just stay like that for a while, chatting, laughing at all the jokes they come up with, just basking in the happy vibe that is coursing through. 

As they lie together, they're in their own little dimension, away from everything else for a while, just existing peacefully in a connection that no one can quite understand.

Ethan thinks for a split second that he can get used to this. 

Later that day, Ethan decides to step outside and touch the snow, marveling at how it melts between his fingers in an instant, and how the freezing cold against his skin almost burns him when he holds it for too long. A voice beside him startles him; a concerned Damiano has come to check on him. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" - he asks, grabbing a handful, letting it slowly melt under his touch, fall back on the ground 

Ethan smiles, nods silently. 

"Everything okay?" - Damiano asks  

"Yeah, I was just…" - Ethan replies - "I had never seen snow before. They… they never let me out." 

Damiano invites him to sit on the porch with him, the same spot where they had been sitting together just days before.  

“It doesn’t snow very often around here, but I like it when it does. It all makes you want to just get cozy and comfortable inside”

Ethan just grins in response, nods his head, plays a little bit more with the snow in front of him. Damiano notices how he observes everything as it's the most fascinating thing, with a child-like curiosity to him, and innocence that just makes all of his protective instincts grow stronger, fiercer. 

“Ethan, how are you feeling right now?” - Damiano asks, and Ethan is confused for a moment at the question that came seemingly out of the blue 

What he doesn’t know, however, is that Damiano’s brain is already working hard, coming up with ideas. 

“I’m feeling… good. I’m feeling happy” - Ethan replies, sincerely, considering that, for the first time in a long time, the usual knot in his chest doesn’t feel half as tight as before 

Damiano gives him a happy grin, a pat in the back, then takes on a slightly more serious tone.

“I had an idea we could try, but only if you’re up for it” - he informs - “remember you are always allowed to say no, it’s your decision.”

Ethan nods slowly, looks at Damiano expectantly.

“So… yesterday you mentioned the red eyes, like an alpha's, are something that still scares you, right?” - he asks, and he can immediately see the shift in Ethan’s posture as he tenses up slightly - “I was thinking, maybe you find them so terrifying because you’ve been taught to associate them with bad things. What if your brain starts associating them with good, and happy, as you’re feeling right now?”

Ethan is tense, a thousand pictures flash through his mind, he swallows thickly before he can bring himself to give Damiano a reply. In a way, he knows he isn’t wrong, his train of thought makes perfect sense. What he doesn’t know, however, is if he will be able to carry on with whatever plan the alpha has in mind.

Damiano is looking at him, studying his face carefully, reading his expressions and movements, but still, waiting for his approval. Then, he feels the need to reassure him:

“We’ll take it slow, very slow. I won’t change completely for now, I know you still can’t handle it and that’s okay.” - he reassures - “I’ll just change the color of my eyes. Truth is, Ethan, this is your pack. You trusting me and being comfortable around me, my wolf included, is the only way I can get through to you and, most difficult part, to your wolf who’s hidden in there somewhere, terrified.”

Ethan stutters a little, a bit embarrassed:

“I- I trust you, Damiano, I’m sorry, I’m trying to.”

The alpha puts a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey. I know you are, and you’re doing a great job. This is a little step we can take, and maybe it won’t be too overwhelming for you. We have to start somewhere, if you’re up for it”

Ethan takes a minute to organize his thoughts, allows a bit of the tension to leave his muscles, then says:

“Let’s do it.”

Damiano leads him back inside, sits them both comfortably on the floor, on top of the mess of blankets they had previously organized there. Ethan takes a brief look at Damiano, noticing how his sleeves are a tad too long for his arms and cover a bit of his hands, and how a loose strand of his hair falls on his forehead. He’s sitting cross legged in front of him, with his elbows on his knees, and his head placed on his hands, trying to look as less threatening as possible. 

“Ready?”

As I’ll ever be, Ethan thinks. Realistically, he knows he shouldn’t feel this anxious; Damiano isn’t even shifting fully, but Ethan knows that his mind will immediately be taken back to other places and different people, and different pains and sorrows. Even so, he gives Damiano a nod of the head, then looks down at his hands placed on the blanket in front of him, exhales a long, deep sigh. Somehow, the air between them has shifted visibly, and something inside the beta can definitely sense the shift. He hears Damiano’s soft voice, feels a warm hand taking his.

“Ethan. Look at me.”

For a second, Ethan isn’t in the living room anymore, he’s in a cold, damp basement-like room, someone stands in front of him with glowing crimson eyes and…

A soft caress is left on his hair.

“Look at me.”

Ethan dares looking up; instead of the usual hazel colored irises, he is met by bright, red, fiery ones. His throat seems to close for a brief second, his muscles go tense again, and then, he notices Damiano is still holding his hand.

“It's alright. It’s still me. You don’t have to be afraid.” - he reassures in a low, soothing voice that is somehow doing wonders for Ethan’s frazzled nerves - “I know where your brain wants to go, but don’t allow it to."

Ethan tries his hardest to stay grounded in the present, guided by the alpha’s gentle commands.

“There you go.” - he praises - “it’s still me, see?”

The beta is still looking at his face, at his eyes, telling himself that he is okay, that he is safe, but his memories insist on going somewhere else, and just a second after, he’s reliving everything as if he really is back there, there's the pain, the fear, they're real and almost tangible, and in a short moment everything feels too much to handle. 

With his voice on the verge of breaking, he asks Damiano:

“Please, stop” - and the plea that starts slowly, quickly becomes a panicked litany that pours breathlessly out of his lips - “please, please, I can’t do it anymore, please, it’s enough, please”

Damiano shifts back at the speed of light, heavy-hearted at his beta’s distress. He notices how his skin has gone a bit paler, his heartbeat is impossibly fast. With one hand, no sudden movements, he cups the beta’s cheek, gently makes him look up at his eyes to see all the red color is gone. Ethan is still a bit lost in his pleas.

“It’s over, it’s over, Ethan, we’re done. Look, we’re done, darling, you did great.”

When he speaks next, his face hiding in his hands in shame and frustration, Ethan’s voice is small, broken, and barely audible.

“Can you hold me? Please?”

Ethan doesn’t quite understand why he’s asking for this, but a part of him, a part of him that is absolutely unfamiliar to him, just longs to have a solid presence to remind him that he’s safe. 

He doesn’t have to repeat himself.

“Come here, my love” - Damiano says, opening his arms for the distressed beta to settle into, bringing him close, with his head on his shoulder, and his face hidden in his chest. 

Ethan lets out a small whimper, an “I’m sorry”, and he truly is.

“Shh, shh, don’t be sorry” - the alpha comforts - “it’s okay. You did great, we’re taking baby steps. You’ll get there. You’re safe now. Breathe, okay? Deep breaths."

Ethan feels himself gradually settle down, the previous feeling of warmth and safety slowly returning to him.

“I’m so proud of you.” - Damiano says, sincerely - “you were so strong, and you asked me to stop when you got to your limit. I’m so, so proud, Ethan”

Something about his tone just tells Ethan he is being sincere, and not saying something he doesn’t mean just to comfort him. Ethan can sense he’s not one of those; what he says, he means.

He feels too tired, too drained, so he just lets Damiano hold him for a little longer, chatting quietly until the twins come back and find them. The alpha just smiles at Vic and Maso, never stopping the gentle touches on Ethan’s hair. Victoria’s voice can then be heard:

“We sensed someone was in need of a cuddle”

Ethan just nods silently, not moving from his spot. Then, he feels the twins come closer, one on each of his sides, their limbs all tangling on each other again. His whole being is immediately flooded with warmth, and a sense of peace and tranquility that spark just a little flicker of hope inside him. Maybe he just took one more little step towards healing, and for the time being, even if that is all he has to hold on to, it has to suffice. Ethan knows that for his newfound family, it’s more than enough.

Chapter Text

Ethan isn’t quite sure of what he'd expected to see when he made his way to the kitchen to see where the commotion was coming from, but this certainly wasn’t it.

First, he had heard it, loud voices echoing down the hallway. Were his friends okay? Was the house burning down? Then, he had opened the door to see Maso on the floor with his face covered in white flour, Vic on top of him, pinning him down with her legs, with something sticky all over her blond hair, and spreading the white powder all over her brother’s cheeks, laughing like crazy. 

“Look at this mess! Do something!” 

Vic shuts Maso up but Damiano, with the flashiest pink apron put on, has his back turned to them, focused on something on the countertop, lost in laughter but still, yelling something at them:

“You know where the broom is and I have nothing to do with that!”

Ethan is confused to say the least. Vic and Maso go back to their previous fight, and Damiano turns back, sensing Ethan’s presence and welcomes him with a smile.

“I was just about to go look for you!” - he announces, then leading Ethan by the hand to come stand next to him on the kitchen counter.

Damiano fetches something from behind a door, then puts an equally flashy apron on Ethan, who is looking at him, completely lost. His brow is furrowed lightly, his eyes are scanning the three of them as if trying to understand what in the fresh hell has gotten into them.

The absolutely obvious what the fuck?  that the alpha can read, written all over his face makes him let out a loud, crystal clear laugh. Then, he explains:

“Look, I wanted to bake a cake. Or several, because… well, we are pretty high maintenance, right?” - he begins - “then Vic and Maso joined me in the kitchen and… well. You can see the result.”

Ethan can indeed see the result, as the twins have stopped playing fight and are now lying down on what used to be the kitchen tiles, but has now become a sea of flour and bits of sticky batter, breathless, laughing so light-heartedly it almost makes Ethan laugh too.

“Have you ever baked?” - Damiano asks 

Ethan shakes his head. Then, the alpha quickly takes a hairband from his wrist and helps Ethan put his long hair up in a bun on top of his head.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll help. You’re my last good soldier, darling, these two are a completely lost cause." - he says, purposefully speaking louder on the last part, which earns him a raised middle finger from Victoria - “I just need you to mix that while I add in the flour to the other one. Please?”

Ethan thinks this is all so oddly domestic, and yet so heartwarming, he smiles and grabs the electric mixer Damiano is handing him, putting it inside the mixture on the bowl. However, inexperience or clumsiness (or, who knows, both), part of the batter ends up flying out of the container and right into the kitchen counter, and, of course, Ethan’s face.

For a split second, he fears he’s done a mess, he’s done it wrong and what if Damiano gets mad at him? But his worries fade away like smoke, when Damiano laughs, quickly turns off the mixer and gets close to him, a tray full of batter still in hand. 

“Let me put this in the oven first, I’ll come help in a minute” - he announces

Then, gets closer to him, unexpectedly licks a little drop of batter off his forehead, winks cheekily and turns his back on him to stick the tray in the oven. When he looks back, Ethan is still standing on the same spot, looking like he’s been stunned, half his face dirty with cake mix and a furious blush creeping up his cheeks, only further highlighted by the fact that, for once, his hair is not hiding them.

Damiano giggles, offers him an old rag to wipe his face on, then speaks:

“We can do it together”

He gets behind Ethan, the beta’s back against his chest, and looks at him as if asking for permission first. When Ethan nods, Damiano puts his hands on top of his’, one holding the bowl firmly, the other holding the spoon.

“You do it slowly , so it doesn’t spill out of the bowl. You fold it like this, so everything you put in there is mixed well, and…”

He takes the spoon, leaves a bit of batter on the tip of Ethan’s nose, then runs away with the bowl in his hand, standing on the other side of the counter and sticking his tongue out. Ethan giggles happily, and the sound is so beautiful to Damiano, as opposed to his cries he’s heard so many times before, he almost wants to hug him.

Then Ethan, feeling a kind of easiness growing inside him, inside him takes just a bit of flour from the bag, puts it in his hand, gets behind Damiano and just spreads it on his cheeks, on his forehead, then laughing loud at his surprised face. 

He can see why the twins think this is so fun.

“You know this is a game we can both play, right?"

The twins soon join them, never missing an opportunity for chaos, and when Ethan realizes, he’s covered in flour, and batter, and egg and god knows what else, from head to toe, and he’s sitting on the floor with his back against the counter, breathless from laughter. Damiano, right across from him, isn’t in a much better state, but he, too, looks satisfied, and light, and overall happy . 

So maybe the cakes won’t be baked anytime soon, and maybe they’ll be cleaning the kitchen and themselves until it’s dawn, but Ethan feels such a lightness coursing through his very blood, he doesn’t mind.

He just wishes it could last forever.

The ghosts from his past, though, are sometimes too strong, and the higher Ethan climbs when he’s feeling pure happiness, at his friends’ side, the lower his demons manage to sink him the next time they come around. That night is the first time Ethan loses touch with reality. 

At first, the nightmare starts just like any other of the ones he’s had so often. The worst part is, this time, Ethan just knows it is not just a nightmare, it’s a very real, very vivid memory. 

He’s chained, ankles and wrists, as per usual, trembling as the freezing cold seeps into his very bones. His hair is yanked back, forcing him to look at his alpha, who is angry, very angry at him. 

“You’ve been a bad boy, Ethan.”

He feels the wounds on his back that the alpha’s claws are leaving behind, and, unsuccessfully, he tries to hold himself from crying. His voice sounds again.

“Crying, huh? You know, you’re pretty lucky this is all you get” - he says, then brings their faces close - “there used to be an alpha around here, you know, when his beta tried to run away, he killed her. Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to meet him. That would teach you a proper lesson, wouldn’t it?”

“No!”

Ethan wakes up in loud screams, petrified. He can’t move, he looks around, he doesn't recognize anything, but the chains are still biting at his wrists, and he has to break free.

The light on the nightstand is turned on, Vic, Maso, Damiano are all sitting around him, but Ethan is screaming, crying, pleading. 

The twins are trying to get to him, trying to reassure him, but Ethan looks from one to the other, frantically, disoriented. 

Damiano understands that he has no idea where he is or what is going on, as immersed as he is in whatever nocturnal horror is haunting him, and he is grabbing at his arms with such brutal force, trying to ground himself, some of the almost healed scratches on his skin are about to reopen. 

With a sign of the head, he asks the twins to leave them. 

Carefully, Damiano climbs up to sit behind Ethan on the bed, slowly grabs his arms, keeping him from hurting himself. At this point, the beta is in hysterics, feeling restrained like that, and Damiano can barely keep from crying himself.

Even so, voice firm and steady, he says:

“Easy, Ethan, easy, shhh, you’re home.”

Ethan doesn’t hear him.

“No, please, no, please let me go, I’ll be good now, let me go” - he’s still pleading, and the alpha isn’t even sure if he’s talking to him or to whatever imaginary figure he is seeing.

Damiano sighs, still holds on to Ethan, as he struggles in his arms. He retries:

“Please, my love. Come back to me” - he pleads - “you’re safe, sweetheart, you’re okay, all is well.”

Still nothing. 

The third time Damiano speaks, he decides it’s time to try to reach a different part of Ethan; his eyes go red, his voice goes low, much deeper, and he tries again, calmly:

“Ethan, listen to me, just listen” - he says - “you are safe and sound, your pack is close, your alpha's here. We will protect you. I will protect you." 

Something happens at last; Ethan stops struggling, allows him to release his hold on him, just enough for him to turn around and look at his face. Damiano lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in, when he sees Ethan’s eyes shine golden for a minute, and a flash of recognition crosses them.

“Damiano?” - he asks 

The alpha nods, doing his best to offer the breathless boy in his arms a reassuring smile. 

“Welcome back." - he says 

Ethan is crying bitterly, violent sobs wrecking his fragile frame in the alpha’s arms. He's completely out of control, and Damiano knows he has to try and give it back to him.

“I’m-”

He doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s embarrassed, scared, and mostly confused. He can't think clearly enough to explain it.

“Shhh. No need to. I understand.” - he assures - “just breathe, calm down. It’s all good. It’s all good now”

Damiano has his chin resting lightly on Ethan’s shoulder, his arms pressing him against his chest, shielding him from everything but from the pain that comes from his very insides. Ethan turns, so his cheek is resting against Damiano’s collarbone, his soft hair tickles his skin very lightly and the beta doesn’t mind at all. Right now, it’s as if he’s the only bit of sanity he has left.

Ethan doesn’t even think before the words leave his mouth this time:

“Stay with me. Please, please, don't leave me, I'm scared.”

Damiano presses a gentle kiss to his temple, rubs small circles on his back with his hand, soothingly.

“Of course. Of course I’ll stay, sweetest.”

He turns off the lamp, plunging the room in a darkness that, this time, feels nothing but comfortable to the beta. Ethan slowly lays his head back on the pillow, Damiano lowers himself to lay beside him, bringing the covers over the both, warming up Ethan’s freezing body. He keeps his distance at first, not sure of what Ethan wants to do, not sure how far he can go. However, just a minute later, Ethan comes closer, nuzzles his face on his neck, holds his hand, and Damiano is quick to intertwine their fingers. 

He whispers, softly:

“Go to sleep, my darling.” - he says - “just rest, okay? I'll be right here by your side.”

Ethan nods. Quiet sobs shake the beta’s body for a little longer, while Damiano still whispers sweet words just for him to hear. 

Minutes later, he ends up relaxing completely, at last, in the alpha’s arms that hold on to him like he’s made of glass. 

Damiano knows better than anyone that recovery isn’t linear; however, he feels so deeply for this poor creature, and the echo of pure hopelessness that hit the entire pack is just disheartening. 

The alpha doesn’t sleep at all for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

The early morning sun breaks through Ethan's bedroom window, illuminating the boy's still sleeping figure and gracing his cheeks with a soft, white light.

In contrast, Damiano remains wide awake. In fact, other than a couple of times when he'd allowed himself to close his eyes for brief minutes, the alpha's night had been spent watching over the finally slumbering boy right beside him. Though his body still tensed and twitched at times, even in his sleep, Ethan had finally fallen quiet and relaxed, resting peacefully, all huddled up next to him. The storm seems to have passed completely, and Damiano almost allows himself to let out a breath of relief at the beta's tranquil face, the total opposite of the fear and horror that had haunted him just hours before.

The alpha takes a moment to observe him as he sleeps, taking in the younger man's features; for as tired and tormented as he might look, Ethan is gorgeous, that much is undeniable, with his eyes closed, and his long hair spread out in every direction. He recalls a moment from the previous night, and how Ethan had come down from his violent panic after having heard the alpha's voice call out for "the little wolf". So the little wolf was there, after all, just as he had suspected. Hiding, somewhere deep inside, maybe struggling against many layers of fear, and hurt, and trauma, but still, there, and Damiano had reached it. It was huge news for them, a big milestone, and he just hoped this would leave the other boy a little more hopeful.

Movement finally gets Damiano's attention; with a small shiver, Ethan slowly stirs awake; his eyes flutter open, adjusting to the sunlight that hits his face, peeking from behind the half shut blinds. As the pale sunglow reflects off of them, the brown irises resemble dark pools, shimmering, and Damiano almost gets lost in them for a second. A quiet gasp leaves the black-haired boy when he realizes he's not alone, and, for a moment, he can’t bring himself to remember what’s happened when he sees Damiano right beside him. Embarrassed, more than anything else, Ethan pulls back slightly, an apologetic look on his face. Damiano just chuckles, stopping him from parting their hug completely. 

"Hey, hey, don’t go away. You don’t have to be embarrassed” - he reassures - “good morning, Ethan.”

Ethan smiles, meekly, but settles back down on the pillow, facing Damiano.

“Good morning” - he replies 

The alpha waits a careful second, studying the other boy's reactions before going on. His eyes are still puffy and a bit reddened from the crying, there’s a deep exhaustion to his features that makes his heart break.

“How are you feeling?” - he finally asks

Ethan doesn’t quite know what to reply. There’s a turmoil of feelings going on inside his chest, tiredness, fear, grief, but also, somehow, a comfort and a warmth that can only radiate from the body laying down right next to him. Something has woken up inside his brain, something that feels both unknown and familiar in equal parts; a kind of drive, instinct that just seems to change something at a core leve, like a presence, a friend so long lost he can't remember who he is, but somehow, he knows it's a friend. Even so, he doesn't know how to describe it. He doesn't know what to name it for as much as he tries, so when Damiano asks him how he is feeling, he can't quite bring himself to give him a coherent answer.

“I’m not quite sure, I…” - he manages to say, the unfinished thought hanging in the air between them for a couple of seconds 

Damiano nods, encouraging him to speak his mind, but staying silent to allow him to go on.

Ethan sighs.

“I’m… exhausted. I’m… frustrated. I thought I was getting a little better” - he confesses - “but I also feel… weird. Like… something has changed inside my brain I can’t quite explain it. There’s… something else, it wasn't there before, there are memories I didn't remember having, there's...”

Damiano smiles, sympathetically, at how much there is to unpack in the beta's explanation.

"It's normal to take steps back sometimes, please don't beat yourself up over it. Healing isn't a straight line, it's a complex process, and it can't be rushed, but trust me, you are getting better day by day" - he assures him - "and something has changed, it's so good to see that"

Ethan looks confused at Damiano’s words, raises his eyebrow, eyes the alpha expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate. How can it be good to feel more lost than ever, when he'd thought that, at this point, he'd start figuring things out?

The alpha doesn't lose his gentle smile as he goes on explaining:

“Do you remember how you calmed down last night, Ethan? Did you understand what happened while you were panicking?”

Ethan shakes his head, letting out a sigh. Inside his brain, it’s all a blur, he just remembers Damiano’s soft voice echoing in the back of his mind, and then snapping back to awareness, being met with the alpha’s arms around him.

“You were scared, and disoriented, and you weren’t listening to me, but you listened to your alpha” - he explains - “there was a wolf here, who listened and reacted. Do you understand what it means?”

The beta shakes his head, not quite understanding just yet where he is going with all that. Damiano goes on, speaking softly:

“It means that the beautiful creature inside of you is finally awake and coming out of hiding” - he tells him, slowly reaching out his hand to caress his cheek - “it means that he’s connecting to me, and most importantly, to you ”

Ethan inhales sharply; he doesn't understand, he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't see how Damiano can look so hopeful while he has absolutely no idea of what do to, where to take things from there. 

“How? How does it work, how do I… how do I know that he’s in here, how do I change?” - he begins - "and what if it happens again and he just goes away forever? What if I just can't do it?"

Just by this string of questions, Damiano can sense how agitated the boy beside him is becoming. Slowly, he brings him a little bit closer to his body, in a gesture he hopes can be soothing. 

"Easy, Ethan, easy. Everything will start coming naturally to you, you'll see" - he explains - "because it's a part of you, a part of you that's been repressed for a long time, but it never left you, and it never will. When the time comes, you'll just know what to do, and I'll be here to guide you through it" 

Ethan shuts his eyes softly for a moment, feels the sunlight that warms his cheeks, feels Damiano's soft touches, does his best to bring himself back to reality. He's home, he's safe, and a small part of him almost allows himself to believe he is loved. 

"I'm scared, Damiano" - he confesses, his voice lowering a little bit, almost as if these words aren't meant for his alpha to hear - "I don't even know why exactly, but I'm scared" 

The alpha sighs, kisses Ethan's forehead. It's quite astonishing to see how comfortable Ethan's grown with physical contact in such a short time. 

"I know you are, but you don't have to be. It's who you are, and it won't hurt you, it will never hurt you" - he reassures - "and I know there is so much missing from your memory, but in time you will figure it all out, things will start to make sense. All I ask of you is that you trust me, okay?" 

Ethan nods, thankful for the alpha's gentle reassurances. The tightness in his chest seems to have left him for a little while, and it's almost like he can truly breathe for the first time in a long time.

"I don't want to leave bed" - he says, huffing out a little laugh

"Then don't. You don't have to leave bed, you can be here as long as you want to. Rest is good for you" - Damiano says, sitting up 

Timidly, Ethan holds his wrist, not lifting himself up from the pillow, making the alpha look at him.

"Can you… can you stay with me?" 

Damiano can't help the look of (pleasant) surprise that takes over his face at his shy beta's request. Then, he lays down, settling his head on the pillow and getting comfortable under the blankets again. 

"Of course, Ethan" - he says - "tell me what you need" 

Ethan's response comes surprisingly fast.

"Just... just stay close. Please. It feels nice"

Damiano chuckles, good-natured. Then, opens his arms, wordlessly inviting Ethan to cuddle close to him again, until the boy is back against his chest, finally looking like he's getting his much deserved love, and his much deserved rest.  

Even though the morning goes on, and the sun outside climbs high and shines bright, soon enough, both are fast asleep, protected from the world for just a couple of hours. 

Chapter Text

So far, day after day, Ethan has been doing his best to trust, to just let go of his fears, and simply trust these people who have been nothing but kind to him. Maybe he can't always do it, and maybe at times it is still so much harder than it should be, but Ethan knows he is trying with all his might, and for the time being, it seems to be enough. Even though he has never known - or at least, does not remember - how it feels to have a real family, he is pretty sure that this must be it. 

His physical recovery is remarkable, in just a few weeks he is able to walk on his own again, do most things by himself. There is a life to his eyes and a roundness to his cheeks, and a liveliness to his movements that he'd thought long lost, and he notices it every time he looks in a mirror. Within the pack, the bond grows stronger everyday, and the raven-haired boy often finds himself cuddled, and hugged, in ways that make him feel safe, and appreciated, and the touches he’d once learnt to fear and run from, are now what he considers a source of comfort and love.

As for Damiano, Ethan knows their bond is the one growing fastest, and strongest; after many days, and failed attempts and endless gentleness and patience, he can finally bring himself to look in the alpha’s red eyes without the fear from before, be around him, let himself be held, and he can't yet believe he can possibly deserve all of it. 

It's afternoon, the pack is enjoying some bonding time outside, in the sun, and as he observes Ethan for a few seconds, Damiano comes to the conclusion that there is one thing they still haven’t tried. He exchanges a knowing look with Maso, who gives him a nod.

“Darling” - he calls out, making the beta look at him, gives him a smile - “Vic's shifted, she wants to go and walk a little. Would you be okay if I went with her?”

At first, Ethan doesn’t understand the question. Damiano goes on:

“As a wolf, I mean” - he clarifies - “I know I never shifted fully in front of you. Do you think you can handle it? I promise I won’t come close to you if you don’t want me to."

Ethan’s breath hitches a little for a moment. He has to trust Damiano, he knows he has to face his fear. Maso takes his hand, gently, gives it a little reassuring squeeze.

“I’ll be here with you” - he says 

Ethan nods. Damiano smiles, stands up, follows Victoria and disappears from the boys’ sight for a while. 

Ethan can’t hide that he is nervous; deep down, he knows his alpha won’t hurt him, he knows that, realistically, he has nothing to be afraid of. Even so, he is tense, taut as a string, as he sits beside Maso, expectant, waiting to see him and hoping his memories won't decide to take him somewhere else.

He thinks, and thinks, grappling with the question for a while, then decides to go ahead and ask:

“Maso, does it hurt?” - he begins, voice low, sort of embarrassed - “I mean, when you change, does it-”

Maso is sympathetic, understanding how confusing it all must be. 

“Well, you haven’t done it in a long time, so maybe the first few times will feel uncomfortable. Your body has to readjust to a completely different shape. ” - he explains

Ethan’s shoulders drop in defeat, he sighs deeply. Maso places a hand on his back: 

“It becomes easier with time. You don’t have to worry about it.” - he tries to reassure.

Ethan just smiles, looks ahead. Then, he sees him.

Right beside Victoria, the gorgeous golden wolf Ethan has already become so used to, stands a much taller brown wolf, whose eyes flash red for a moment, so deeply human. However, despite how intimidating he looks, in his size, and his stance, Ethan also sees the way he holds himself high, the elegant way he walks, and he must admit he's impressed. When he looks at him, and he stares right into his eyes, too, there’s a connection so deep he is overwhelmed for a moment; something shifts violently inside him, jumps, cries out, claws at his heart like it so desperately wants to come out. Then, he feels a sharp pain going through his every muscle, getting stronger and stronger by the second.

“Ethan?”

But Ethan isn’t there anymore. Ethan is strapped down to a chair, there’s a collar around his neck, and he’s in pain, he can feel the tears in his face, there’s electricity going through him, it hurts, it hurts so much.

It's all happening way too fast; in a moment, everything is normal, and the second right after, Maso sees Ethan going absolutely rigid beside him. He’s crying, he’s whimpering, he throws his head back, closes his eyes.

“Ethan, buddy, it’s okay, what’s going on?” - Maso tries to ask

Ethan doesn’t react.

In a heartbeat, Damiano and Vic - back in their human forms - are standing with them, trying to understand what is going on, what is wrong, how they can help. 

“Ethan, talk to me, what’s going on?”

Ethan’s eyes roll back for a second; then, the boy goes limp in Maso’s arms, and the three immediately know he’s fallen unconscious.

fuckfuckfuckfuck

Damiano takes him in his arms, brings him back inside, lays him down, checks him up to try and understand. He’s confused, he doesn’t know where this all is coming from so suddenly, he desperately wants to make him feel better somehow. 

“What the hell is happening, what’s wrong with him?” - Vic asks, not hiding the slight panic in her voice

“He’s okay, Vic” - Damiano says after a while - “I don’t know why he passed out, but he’s okay right now, there’s nothing wrong with him that I can see.”

The three let out a collective, relieved breath. Maso speaks:

“It was so weird, it was like he was being electrocuted or something of the sort. He went absolutely rigid, and he seemed to be in so much pain…”

Damiano’s face goes deadly serious.  

“I think I know what happened… I hope I’m wrong, though.” - he says - “let’s wait for him to wake up, then we will know for sure.”

Ethan hears a voice in the distance, a gentle whisper, right by his ear.

Wake up, darling. Come to us. 

First, he tries to move his arms; he realizes his hands are not tied. He opens his eyes, slowly, clumsily reaches for his neck; there’s no collar in there anymore, the pain is gone, there’s only the couch right under him, and the steady, loving presence of his three pack mates right by his side.

There’s a warm hand in his, holding it, caressing it, and Ethan sits up slowly, taken aback by the sudden head rush he feels. Maso is the first one to hold him, hand him a glass of water which Ethan slowly lifts to his lips.

“How are you feeling?” - Vic asks, coming into his field of view, worry and confusion etched all over her face.

Ethan shrugs. 

“I… I don’t know.” - he says - “I’m sorry, I-”

Damiano carefully approaches him, caresses his hair, tucks it neatly behind his ear.

“Nothing to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong.” - he says - “what happened?”

Ethan takes one more sip from his water before speaking.

“It was very, very strange, but... I think I know now, I- I think I remember...” - he says, shivering slightly - “I know why I can’t shift, I know…”

The tears that are coming to his eyes threaten to suffocate him, there is pure anguish carved all across his features, and the pain he's experiencing is so strong the other three wolves feel like they have taken a punch straight to the gut.

Vic caresses his cheeks, clings to his neck, lays her head on his shoulder.

“Oh, dear Ethan…” - she says, heartbroken. 

She parts the hug, gives him some space, Damiano goes on caressing his hair, looking at him, worriedly, protectively.

“Talk to us, love. You will feel better. Let it out, it’s safe here."

Ethan takes a deep breath, exhales sharply, shakily.

“It’s… it was… shocks. Electricity. Whenever I tried to change, whenever the wolf would try and come out… they would… they would…” - he explains - “I saw it, I felt it, I was strapped to a chair, I was… there was so much pain, I…”

His voice breaks, turns into a pained whimper that Ethan can no longer contain. Vic turns her back for a moment so the beta can’t see the tears that are pooling at her eyes, Maso looks heartbroken beyond words, and Damiano has silent tears on his cheeks as he gently guides the beta’s head to lay on his shoulder.

“I am so sorry, Ethan. I am so, so sorry.” -  he says - “you see now, it’s not your fault that you can’t change, it never was. Your mind needs healing as much as your body does, maybe even more.”

Ethan nods.

“I think… I think my wolf tried to come out, when he saw you, subconsciously I was trying to change but... but I just… he just… felt everything again and it was so real…”

Damiano doesn’t yet release his hold on him.

"We are sensitive creatures. The trauma you both went through left a deep scar. He's scared. He needs time to feel safe, to connect to you again, and those bridges were burnt by everything they did to you." - he explains - "But we're right here, Ethan. Right here. We won't leave you."

Ethan just allows himself to fall back into the boy's embrace, abandoning himself to the sheer hurt he feels as he rocks him gently back and forth. Maso and Vic sit near them, just watching them in absolute worry, trying not to disturb the moment. Somehow, Ethan looks calmer, and whatever Damiano’s doing is working and soothing his agitation.

The alpha whispers in his ear. 

“We are a little step closer, Ethan, you can't give up now. We are so proud of you."

Even if it feels like they’re taking a step back every time they try to move forward, this time, Ethan believes him.  

Chapter Text

Ethan is absolutely restless.

When he’s sleeping, when he’s awake, something inside him keeps moving, shifting, shaking, clawing, trying to desperately make its way out, talk to him, just reach him somehow, but Ethan can’t understand it. None of them is speaking a language they can both understand. Ethan doesn’t know how to let it out, even if he really wants to. He is terrified all the time, shaky, cranky, jumpy, tired. 

The rest of the pack members have noticed it, too. He looks constantly upset; even when they’re together, sitting quietly, Ethan can’t stay in the same spot for long, he fidgets, he fiddles with the hem of his shirt, he’s turned upside down, inside out, and can’t explain why. He wakes up in tears way more often, most nights he doesn’t even sleep at all, and the dark bags under his eyes seem to grow more and more every day.

Even though Damiano has been trying to let him sort himself out, on his own, trying not to intrude, there comes a morning when he decides enough is enough, and he has to do something about it. As they’re all sitting down at the table enjoying their meal, and Ethan plays around with his food, not really eating it, the alpha stands up, goes to crouch down in front of the black-haired boy, places a hand on his thigh.

“Come with me, darling.” - he invites, holding out his hand for the beta to take 

Ethan hesitates, looks at Damiano, almost frightened. Damiano just smiles.

“Just trust me, okay?" - he asks him - “come along.”

The alpha leads him outside, taking him by the hand. Then, lowers himself to sit on the ground, not minding at all if it’s damp or not. He encourages Ethan to do the same, making sure the boy is sitting cross legged directly in front of him. He looks sad, distraught, agitated, and Damiano reaches out to leave a caress on his face.

“What’s going on with you?” - he asks

Ethan sighs, looks away, thinking how tired he is of feeling like a burden, of feeling broken. Damiano reassures him:

“Ethan, let me help, my love. I can see you are upset, everyone can. You've been like this for over a week now, and we're worried sick about you.” - he says - “tell me what troubles you. Please, don't shut us out."

It’s as if saying it all out loud will make it all the more real. When he finally musters the courage to talk about his troubles, he lifts his head slightly to look his alpha in the face.

“I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t do anything” - he confesses - “at every hour of the day, there is this presence in my mind, it’s just always there with me, and I feel it so distressed, so scared, it’s like… it’s desperate. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to let it out. I… I’m exhausted, Damiano. I can’t do this anymore.”

Damiano sighs, sadly, takes the beta’s hand.

“Listen to me" - he begins - “when you're like... us, you're never really alone. There's a whole other creature sharing your body and your soul with you, a whole other vessel - thus the name, shapeshifters, right? He is you, and you are him. Two sides of the same coin."

Ethan keeps looking at him, waiting for him to finish, signaling that he is listening. Damiano goes on:

"Well, right now, he's awake, he's very much awake. And he's confused, distressed, that, when he wants to come out, you don't let it, because you're terrified of it. Which is making him even more distressed, and thus, absolutely tormenting you. Your relationship, your bond is broken right now, but it's never beyond fixing."

“I… what should I do?”

Damiano explains: 

“Start talking to him. A dialogue. An open channel.” - he continues, then seems to consider something for a moment, before speaking again - “can we try something?”

Ethan looks at Damiano, just a little bit doubtful, but agrees. 

“Let me try to reach him, like I did the other day.” - he proposes - “can you feel him awake right now?”

Ethan thinks, looks inside his own brain for a second. It’s there. It’s still clawing insistenly at him, making his chest heavy, making his whole body heavy with heartache, fear. Doubt, uncertainty are easy to read on his expression. 

“I know what I’m doing. You know I’d never do anything that could hurt you, right?”

Ethan nods. Damiano is quick to change his eyes to red, assuming his other one. There’s an aura around him, something that shifts so quickly, as his nature surfaces and comes to life. The heaviness in Ethan’s chest gets stronger, his throat seems to close a little, air seems to set his lungs ablaze as it makes its way down.

Damiano's voice always changes when he’s like this, it reaches a different part of him, it’s not totally unpleasant, but it’s definitely something he can’t explain. He speaks, very softly:

"Hey, friend. Why don't you rest a little? You're safe here” - he begins.

Ethan lets out a small gasp, as the agitation inside him seems to only grow stronger. Damiano sighs, but goes on, looking deep into Ethan’s eyes, seeing so far beyond the tired human that sits across from him.

“No one's going to hurt you, or punish you showing yourself. It's okay. It's safe.” - he reassures

Ethan is beginning to feel the same pains from before, spreading like fire all over his body, cramping his muscles. He hides his face in his hands; Damiano shuffles a little bit closer, puts his hands on his shoulders.

“Ethan. Breathe. You’re not there anymore. You’re here with me, I’m right here.” - he reassures - “you have to let him go, let him come to the surface, don't try to bury him any deeper.”

“I can’t. Damiano, I can’t, I don’t know how to do it.”

Damiano holds his hand a little tighter.

“You're doing good, Ethan. I can feel him close. He's listening." - he says.

It's at this point that Ethan reaches his tipping point, and there is nothing he can do about it. He's crying, sobbing, his body hurts all over, he's heartbroken, frustrated, frightened, it's all too much. 

“I can’t!” - he finally bursts out in a scream, standing up in a haste, taking a step back. 

He can sense the agitation inside him again, tormenting him, revolving his insides painfully, an energy rippling through him; he represses it, pushes it down, it hurts, everything hurts. Damiano stops the exact moment he hears the beta’s pleas. He stands up, slowly approaches Ethan, who’s crying loudly with his back turned to him. His heart is breaking, he hates how powerless he feels.

He places his hands on Ethan’s hips. The boy doesn’t react, doesn’t turn around, so Damiano pushes him a little closer to him, rests his chin on his shoulder, and speaks to him.

“I’m sorry. It’s okay. It’s okay if you’re not ready yet, it’s just a matter of time, I promise you. I swear to you, Ethan, we will get there”

Ethan feels like he’s about to explode. He’s hurting, he’s hurting so bad.

He lets out a yell:

“I can’t. Damiano, I can’t, I’m not able to do it, I just can’t, I simply can’t !”

“Ethan…”

The beta turns around abruptly, his eyes full of bitter tears, his sentences so breathless, so carried away in the pain he feels inside.

“No, you don’t understand, I can’t do it, I know you want me to do it, I know the pack wants me to do it, but I am not capable of doing it, I’m too damaged, I’m too broken.”

Ethan is screaming at him like Damiano’s never seen him scream before. He raises his hands in front of him, tries to calm him, to bring him back from his deeply distressed rant.

“Listen to me, Ethan” - he says, using the calmest, yet most assertive voice he can pull off - “take a deep breath. It's okay. I know it’s hard, but you have to calm down. You’ve been making progress, I know you can’t see it, but you are, and - “

Ethan interrupts him.

“I’m not. I’m not, I’m just not leaving the same place, I've been going around and around in circles for weeks  I can’t do this anymore, I can't live like this, I know you always believe blindly in people but I am just broken, for good, Damiano, you can’t see, it but I am.”

Damiano’s tone becomes just a little more serious; Ethan is not speaking from his brain, and even though Damiano has never heard him talk back this way, he knows it’s coming from a place of deep, deep sorrow.

"What you need is a break, not giving up. It won't do you any good. Take a break, a few hours, a few days, then you can try again. It will become easier, but you have to keep going."

Ethan breaks out in a harsh, violent tone that doesn’t, at all, sound like him, his eyes glow golden for a split second, tears run down his face. The beta feels such a horrid, rotten feeling inside, such a deep hurt, he just wants to lash out, put it on someone else, just stop feeling it.

“Or what, Damiano? What if I don’t want to?” - he says - “you’ll do to me the same thing you did to your other beta, like Manu said? You’ll just kill me?”

He regrets these words the very moment they come out of his mouth. He's hearing himself crystal clear, for a second he can't believe he's saying this, how cruel and unjust he sounds; but like a stone that’s been thrown into a lake, it’s too late to take them back and avoid the rippling. They have hit Damiano with such a brutal force even his very stance has changed completely. He looks almost broken, defeated, there are tears glistening in his eyes as he takes a step back, away from the boy.

Ethan brings a hand up to cover his mouth, in shock at his own reaction, even the presence inside of him seems to have quieted down for the time being.

He reaches out for him; the alpha’s eyes go red, his face drops and his lips press into a thin line, as he brings a sleeve up to his face to wipe his tears.

“Damiano… I’m… I’m sorry.”

He flinches back abruptly, almost scaring the beta.

“Leave me, please. Not now.” - he says, turning his back on him and beginning to walk towards the house.

Ethan follows him.

“Damiano…”

Damiano snarls at him.

“I said not now. I want to be alone.”

He disappears back inside the room, leaving Ethan to sit alone on the porch steps, until all daylight is gone and he is shivering with the cold that night brings.

When Maso comes and looks for him, his face is serious, unreadable. Ethan knows he's fucked up big time, but doesn’t dare ask, and Maso says nothing, simply invites him back inside for dinner. Ethan isn’t hungry, he just wants to curl up under his blankets and stay there, numbly.

As he takes a look at the table, he realizes there is an empty spot where Damiano should be sitting, and when he makes his way to his room, the alpha’s door is locked shut. Ethan is silent for a little bit, resisting the urge to knock; he gives up when he hears the muffled sobs that come from the inside. 

He’s just wounded the only person who has ever truly seen him, and he really isn’t sure if there’s a way to fix it.

Chapter Text

Damiano has tears in his eyes when he finally speaks, there's some kind of unspoken tension between them.

"Let's run away from here. Together" 

She smiles, sadly, takes his hands, kisses his forehead.

"You know we can't" 

The alpha shakes his head. 

"We can. We'll keep each other safe. We'll go somewhere far from here, away from everyone" 

Lost in the intensity of his own words, for a couple of seconds, Damiano almost believes it's possible. 

 

Chapter Text

The following day comes and goes like every other regular day, cruelly indifferent to the whirlpool of feelings that is going on in the wolves’ hearts, affecting the pack as a whole. Evening arrives fast, and Ethan still hasn’t left his room, refusing food or any contact with anyone. He feels ashamed, in pain, he doesn’t even feel strong enough to cry anymore. Vic, when she comes to offer him something to eat, just gives his shoulder a light pat.

“He’s very hurt, Ethan, what you said wasn’t nice.” - she says, softly - “but he’ll forgive you the moment he sees you. He knows you didn't mean it."

Ethan can't bring himself to reply; Victoria leaves the room, and everything goes silent again.

As for Damiano, the twins can see he is not himself; it’s too clear to them that something is off. His face is sad, his movements are slow, his looks are tired, as if he didn’t have a second of sleep during the previous night.

Maso engulfs the alpha in a hug, placing his head on his shoulder for a second.

“Damiano, you have to talk to him.” - he says - “I know what he said really hurt you, I know, but he’s alone, and he’s exhausted, and he’s terrified. And you’re his alpha… he needs you more than ever.”

Damiano sighs deeply, exhaustedly, tries his best to offer the blond beta a sad smile.

“I know, Maso. I just need a moment… I-” - he begins, trying his best not to get choked up - “maybe I’m just not good enough, maybe I'm just not up to the task like I thought I was."

Maso hugs him a little tighter.

“Don't be stupid, Damiano” - he replies - “Ethan’s been in a horrible, horrible place, that is not your fault at all. He’ll come around.”

Damiano can’t bring himself to say anything in response, he just falls into Maso’s embrace and allows him to bring him some form of comfort for a while.

Ethan has lost track of time. He knows it’s night, that much he can tell, judging by the dark skies outside. The moon is high up, he’s cold, just lying on top of the sheets, but somehow, he can’t bring himself to care. That same damn insistent creature inside him is coming back to life at this time, and for as desperate as he feels, he doesn’t move. He feels numb. Maybe he just deserves to go back to his old life.

A knock on the door. Two knocks. Three knocks. Ethan ignores it. Even if his back is turned to it, he can hear it creak open quietly. The beta still doesn’t turn around. 

After just a few seconds, he feels the other side of the bed shift lightly under the weight; a voice sounds, and even if it’s dark, Ethan doesn’t need to see him.

“Ethan.” - he calls out - “can you look at me, please? I know you're awake.”

Ethan turns around, slowly, almost mechanically, takes a second to observe the alpha’s face, how his cheeks are stained with tears, how his eyes are puffy from crying, how disheartened  he looks. He expects him to be angry, damn, he wishes he was angry, yelling at him, anything but this quiet, cold sadness.

Damiano, however, just holds out his hand.

“Come with me?”

Ethan can’t say no. He takes his hand, gets up from bed, follows him wherever he is going, wondering why the alpha wants to venture outside at that time of the night. Even if a part of him is just a little bit frightened, he trusts Damiano blindly, that much he is sure of.

The night outside is cold, and windy, and a mist spreads slowly all around them, reminding Ethan a little of the night he was found. They walk in silence for a while, the only sound between them being that of twigs and leaves cracking under their steps. They’re walking into the thick of the woods, deeper than Ethan’s ever been, but Damiano glides effortlessly through the maze of trails; it’s clear that he knows these woods like the back of his hand, even if he can’t see much ahead, he just instinctively seems to know where to go, and Ethan just follows, not daring to speak.

When they finally stop, the beta notices they’re at a clearing. Damiano, as per usual, lowers himself to sit on the ground, looking at something in front of them that Ethan can’t quite figure out yet. Mimicking the alpha, he, too, sits by his side, directs his look to where he is looking, and is nothing short of puzzled at what he sees.

The pale light that barely makes it through the trees is just enough to illuminate what sits on the ground; side-by-side, lay two piles of flowers: on Ethan’s side, a pile of daisies, mixed with other colorful wildflowers; on Damiano’s side, a pile of blue-purple flowers that the beta doesn’t even know the name of. 

It’s when he sees Damiano’s eyes fill with tears that he realizes; these are graves,  memorials they are sitting in front of. Ethan tries to speak, not knowing how to even begin some form of apology. He opens his mouth, closes it again like a fish out of water.

Damiano looks at him, wipes at his eyes, takes a shaky breath to steady his emotions, then speaks, calmly as ever:

“It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to trust me blindly, when I haven’t given you the same trust in return. I see that now, and I'm sorry.” - he says - “it’s time I tell you my story, too.”

Ethan tries to speak:

“Damiano, no, I’m sorry, I-”

Damiano is quick to cut him short, raising his hand to put it on the beta’s shoulder, making sure they are looking each other in the eyes. 

“Ethan, I accept your apology, but now it’s my turn to speak, your turn to listen. Please.”

Even though his tone is gentle, it leaves no room for discussion, and Ethan quiets down, just looking at him expectantly. 

The alpha begins:

“As I told you, my brother was a healer, and I’ve worked with him and helped him from a very young age. For a long time, we’d receive injured betas in our home; we’d care for them, nurse them back to health” - Damiano says - “as I grew older, I’d always question myself how would so many betas get injured so bad . Some of them were in such a rough state when we saw them, they wouldn’t make it through the night. Others would already be dead when they were brought to us.”

Ethan shivers, but nods, not daring to interrupt the alpha’s story. He goes on:

“It wasn’t until our father died, that Poppo and I understood.” - he says, a sudden heaviness to his voice - “it was Manu who brought his betas to us, the poor creatures he’d keep in chains, bringing them from side to side, bringing them to us when they got too sick, and our father knew. Our father agreed with him, our father helped him keep his sick little business running.”

Ethan almost feels like vomiting at this point; even if upset and decided on telling his story, Damiano holds his hand, a silent reminder that he’s okay, that he’s not alone.

“When our father died, we were left with no one; we were too young to make it on our own, and Manu took us both in, gave us a roof inside that hellhole of a place. Everyday I just wish we hadn’t accepted to go with him, we’d have stuck together and…” - Damiano stops, inhales, exhales, keeps the tears at bay for just a little longer - “and anyway, he made us work for him, as some sort of payment for giving us a place to live. We’d take care of the betas after he did those horrible things to them, we’d do… anything he’d ask of us. And we had to comply , because we were young, and we were scared, and we didn’t know what else to do.”

At this point, Damiano hides his face in his hands; he’s visibly crying, but Ethan can’t yet manage a sound, or a movement, or really anything that might comfort his alpha, and he feels plain stupid .

After taking a moment to calm down, he goes on:

“I did things I’m not proud of, Ethan. That’s why it didn’t surprise me when you told me about how they kept your wolf away; I’ve seen them do it” - he says - “it was horrible, and Manu would always tell me how proud he was of how cruel I’d become. What he didn’t know is that we’d try to help the betas in any way we could; sometimes we’d just keep them with us, treating them for longer than necessary just to keep them safe, even if they had healed completely. But I hated that life, and so did Poppo. We were miserable.”

He goes silent for a second, but Ethan senses there’s more he wants to say. He looks at him, as if to make sure the beta is okay, not trying to run away from him. When he sees that Ethan is still sitting in the same place, listening to his every word attentively, he continues to tell his story:

“One day, a beautiful beta came to us; and believe me when I tell you she was gorgeous even as sick as she was . She was in an absolutely pitiful state when she reached us, she was weak, and exhausted, and had lost so much blood, Poppo didn’t think she had any chance of surviving. I did, though. I refused to give up on her. And the most fascinating thing, unlike almost every other beta that went through those doors, she wasn’t scared. She looked at us in the eyes, talked to me through everything I was doing, even when she was in pain” - he makes a pause, almost smiles at the memory - “she told me her name was Cora, she thanked me for helping her.”

Ethan can feel the wave of grief that is now radiating off of the alpha; even so, he doesn’t dare move.

“I spent so many nights at Cora’s bedside; we’d talk from dusk until dawn, we’d share so many stories, even if she couldn’t remember most of her life before… all that. Everything felt right when she was around, my shitty life, the things I hated to do… she made me feel, for a few hours, that I wasn’t the monster I had convinced myself that I was. She believed there was good in me, so much more than I did.” - he goes on telling, and tears are flowing freely down his cheeks - “and so, we fell in love. We were so fucking in love, Ethan. It was wild, and passionate, and wrong, and right, it was beautiful, I adored her. We’d keep her inside our rooms so much longer than necessary, we’d take her outside, let her shift, just run together for a while, pretending we were free. Then one day, Manu grew tired of Cora, like she was just a used toy, so he decided to… take her away, somewhere else, probably sell her for good money to some other deranged bastard like himself."

Ethan gasps quietly: he’s pretty sure he knows how this ends.

“That night, I told Cora I wanted to run away with her, take Poppo with us” - he said - “at first, she said no, that we couldn’t, that I was crazy. Then, with a little more talking, she agreed. Poppo said he’d help us. And so we did… we waited ‘til everyone was sleeping and we ran away. Until Manu and his boys caught up to us.”

Think you’re so smart, don’t you, Damiano? 

At this point, the alpha’s voice is little more than a whisper, as he is making a visible effort to suppress a sob that threatens to come up his throat. 

“He killed Cora right there and then, in front of me. Ripped her throat out, she bled out all over me, died right in my arms. Then he attacked Poppo too, and… Poppo didn’t make it.” - Damiano says - “and then, he attacked me, gave me this scar on my cheek, but I fought back, and I ran… I ran for days and days nonstop until I passed out somewhere, and I didn’t care, I had just lost everything, I had nothing else to live for, I didn’t even have their bodies to bury." 

Ethan can now feel the warm tears that are silently falling from his eyes at this point; he can’t believe someone would put this kind creature through such a hell. Even more so, he can’t quite understand how Damiano manages to be such a gentle soul with such a heavy grief inside his heart.

The alpha’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts, as he finishes the story:

"I wandered around as a lone wolf for a long, long time; at first, I wanted revenge, but then… then I just wanted peace, I just wanted atonement, Ethan. Then, I decided to come back to my childhood home, where we live now, reclaim it as my territory. Then I found Vic and Maso, and things changed, things changed for so much better. That's why I always tell them, they saved me in even more ways than I saved them.” - he says, stopping for a second to let out a pained sob - “but my brother was my best friend, my mentor, my everything. Manu killed him and still takes pride in it, boasts about it, tells everyone he got rid of the weak links. And Cora… Cora was my first true love, and even though Manu went and told everyone I killed her then ran away, I loved her, Ethan, I never would have hurt her on purpose. I loved her with all my heart. And maybe if I hadn’t told her to run away with me, maybe if she hadn’t trusted me, she’d still be alive. Maybe I did kill her in a way, you know?”

Ethan shakes his head, takes Damiano’s hands, shuffles a little closer.

“I’m so sorry. I don't know what to say” - he says, genuinely - “all I know is that it wasn’t your fault. What you’ve been through, it wasn’t your fault. I know Manu, I’ve felt what he is capable of. I’m so so  sorry I said those things to you, I just wanted someone else to hurt like I was hurting, to understand it , but Damiano, you are gentle, you are good, you are kind, you don’t deserve all this pain.”

Ethan engulfs him in a hug, at last, and Damiano cries quietly, giving in to the pain he feels, as if every old scar in his heart has just reopened a little. Even so, a certain relief comes to him, in knowing that, to his newfound beta , and to his family, he’s not the monster he’s seen in the mirror so many times before. Slowly, he lays his head on the beta’s legs, as Ethan is gently, timidly caressing his hair, and damn it, does it feel good. They look at the flowers piled up right in front of them, and even though the beta didn’t say anything, Damiano still replies to the question he knows he’s thinking of:

“Daisies for Poppo. Bluebells for Cora.”

They just sit like that in silence, until the cold is biting at their very bones, and Damiano’s cries have quieted, as the alpha’s left feeling just a little more than numb. They walk back to the house, they don’t even know how long it has been, how late it is, but they just change back to warmer, dry clothes and start making their way to their beds. Just as Damiano is about to wish Ethan a good night, and leave his room, the boy clears his throat quietly, gets his attention, blushes slightly.

“Can you… stay here? It’s okay if you want to say no, you can just…” - he begins, being met by Damiano’s momentary silence - “it’s okay, it was stupid to ask, you just… I’m sorry, good night.”

Damiano chuckles tiredly, sits beside him on the bed, asks him to scoot over a little to make room for him. This time, though, as they get comfy under the blankets, allowing them to warm their cold skins, it’s Damiano who nuzzles his head against Ethan’s shoulder, bringing their chests together, allowing the beta to wrap his arms around him, to hold him for a little while.

“I love you.” - Ethan whispers, shyly, and he can almost feel the smile Damiano his giving him in the dark

Damiano’s answer comes quiet, but quick:

“I love you, too. Good night”

Vic and Maso, just on the other side of the wall, wake up with a small shiver of pure contentment. Looking at each other, they smile before going back to sleep; it’s as if their world is spinning in the right direction again.

Chapter Text

It's still dark when Ethan stirs awake, even though Damiano is still sleeping peacefully right next to him. The room is quiet, and while he stares at the ceiling, he tries and thinks to himself:

We are safe. We are safe now.

For a moment, nothing happens, and Ethan thinks he must be going crazy, just talking to himself like that. However, he tries again:

We have a pack, we have a home now.

Just when he’s about to give up and laugh at his pathetic attempt to reach that place inside him, the one Damiano somehow always manages to reach, a sort of calm invades him, his heartbeat flutters just a little bit.

Feeling strangely comfortable, Ethan goes back to sleep.

Damiano is sitting on the living room floor, with Victoria by his side, an open book on his legs. He’s carefully explaining something to her, pointing at things in the old pages, and she’s smiling, nodding, listening attentively. After having asked him to teach her about his work as a healer so many times, Damiano has finally given in, and both young wolves sit together on that chilly winter afternoon.

His heart felt oddly light, for the first time in a while. It was nice to share a little bit more of the heavy load he carried inside; to have Ethan’s understanding and sympathy, to have him finally know who he truly was, and most of all, to know that he accepts him and trusts him, even with the demons that still haunt him. Just as he is sparing a thought to him, and his mind diverts momentarily from the book, Ethan shows up in the living room, moving slowly to sit right in front of them. He looks tired, very tired, even if he seems to be a little calmer than before, and Damian’s guesses he’s known no peace of mind yet. 

“Hi” - Ethan says

Vic smiles, greets him, and Damiano, too, offers him a bright grin.

“Hi, love. I was just teaching Vic a couple of things here” - he says, chuckling lightly - “do you want to join us?”

Ethan smiles back, timidly.

“That would be great, but actually…” - he replies - “Dami, do you think we could talk for a second?”

Damiano’s expression goes serious, clearly tinged with worry. 

“Of course.”

Vic stands up, motioning to leave both alone, but Ethan speaks up:

“You don’t need to leave, Vic, I-”

The blonde cuts him off, never losing the smile.

“Don’t worry. I was in need of a break, anyway.” - she retorts, playfully sticking her tongue out at Damiano, who mirrors her gesture, then laughs.

A second later, they’re sitting together, just the two, on the living room floor, and Ethan is trying to find the right words to talk to Damiano. He feels a hand on his cheek, a soft encouragement:

“Whatever you need.”

Ethan clears his throat, swallows before he can bring himself to talk:

“First, I don’t think I apologized enough last night, for what I said to you. I’m so sorry, I really am.”

Damiano’s smile goes just a little sad.

“That’s in the past. You apologized, and I accepted it, I won’t hold it against you now. I know how much you were hurting.” - he says, sincerely - “if I pushed you too far, Ethan, it was because I believed that it would help you. I never meant to make you hurt even worse. And for that, I am sorry, too.”

Ethan shrugs, but is still thankful that someone takes his feelings into consideration enough to apologize for something. 

“And about that… I think I’m ready to try again.”

Damiano raises an eyebrow.

“You don’t have to force yourself to do it if it will cause you more pain, Ethan” - he says - “there’s no rush. We can wait until you’re really, absolutely ready”

The beta shakes his head.

“I’ve been trying to… reach him, like you said. Try to comfort him, us , somehow… and he is desperate. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold it all in, it’s all so terrifying.”

Ethan’s eyes drop to the floor, he closes them for a moment to take a deep breath, even if feeling that same, ever present feeling of desperation inside.

“It doesn't have to be as terrifying as you are imagining. You just need to trust your instincts” - he reassures.

The beta, of course, has questions:

“How is it like… changing, and when you become… a wolf, what is it like?” - he asks, biting his lip, feeling shy.

Damiano understands his beta’s doubts and fears, and he tries his best to soothe them.

“It’s like everything goes a bit clearer, a bit louder… it can be overwhelming the first few times, because all of your senses become suddenly enhanced but you will see, it’s beautiful. With time, both of you will become just one, and you won't even notice the difference anymore" - he explains - “and plus, remember what I told you about how the pack had a sort of collective mind?”

Ethan nods, thinking back to their conversation.

“Well, when one of us is in their wolf form, it’s easier to communicate through that same connection. It’s weird, no one can quite explain it, but if you project a thought out, your pack mates can hear it. Why? I don’t know.” - Damiano goes on - “I just know that it happens, and that way it will all feel less scary, because you won't be alone, not even for a second.”

Ethan sighs, not hiding the anxiety that is making him fidget slightly with the ends of his hoodie sleeves.

“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m so scared, Damiano…” - he admits, and can’t help the heavy flow of emotions that almost makes his voice break.

“Hey, don’t be.” - the alpha reassures - “as I said, when the time comes, you won’t be alone. Your pack will be with you, I will be there with you, I swear to you, Ethan”

Ethan sighs.

“I’m sorry I keep bothering you with this.”

Damiano shakes his head.

“You never bother me. I am very happy that you come to me when you need.”

Unexpectedly, Ethan’s face contorts in pain, he sucks in a harsh breath, lets out a pained sound. Damiano reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

Ethan is trying to get his breath under control, but his muscles are cramping, he feels like every single one of his bones is moving, shifting, and the ache he feels soon spreads all over his body, striking him like lightning bolts.

“Ethan, what is going on?” - Damiano asks, growing more and more worried 

“Dami, it hurts” - Ethan replies, through heavy, laboured breathing, clutching his side in a death grip - “it hurts, I don’t know, I-”

Then, Damiano feels it, and his jaw falls slightly open in surprise. 

It’s time. One loud yell and he calls out for Vic and Maso who, in a matter of seconds, show up, worried, watching the scene unfold. Ethan is a mess, sweating, hyperventilating, he feels his body, his mind melting into something, something unknown .

He hears Damiano tell the twins:

“Follow me, we have to go outside.”

He feels the alpha’s hands under his arms, then, he has a vague notion that he’s being dragged out of the house, as a soft breeze hits his skin, cooling it a little bit. Damiano comes to a halt, and Ethan just wants to lay down and curl up on himself, because it hurts, it hurts so much, he barely realizes that the sounds that leave his throat sound like those of a lost puppy.

“Dami, he’s not okay, we have to do something.” - he hears, and realizes it’s Maso’s slightly panicked voice.

The twins are scared, they’ve never seen this happen before. Damiano looks at them, nods, gives them a reassuring smile.

“He’s changing, finally, Maso, there’s nothing we can do right now, except be here for him."

Ethan feels something clawing its way to the surface, scratching, biting, he has no idea what’s going on. Damiano moves him, gets him on his knees, his hands supporting part of his weight in front of him. The beta can barely breathe, and at one point, he’s fairly certain that he is going to suffocate and die.

He vaguely registers Damiano caressing his hair. He looks at him briefly, sees his eyes are red, and he hears him .

“It will be over soon. You just have to let go, Ethan”

Ethan shakes his head, frantically, cries out. 

“I can’t, Dami, I can’t, I’m going to die!”

Damiano tilts his chin up, holds his face for a second, making sure he’s looking deep into his eyes.

“Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise you.”

The pain he is experiencing right now is more intense than any other he’s felt before, and Ethan has felt a lot of pain in the past. Damiano sees he’s having a hard time believing him, so he retries:

“Ethan, listen to me, I’m your alpha and I’m here to guide you, but you have to trust me ” - he asks, his tone serious, but ever so sweet - “let me take the lead."

Ethan manages a nod, and a bolt of electricity hits him with all of its might. He flinches back, cries, it sounds painfully like a howl.

Damiano is holding his hands.

“Listen to me, sweetheart, this is all hurting so much because he wants to come out, and you’re fighting back. Don’t fight him. I’m right here, I’ll take good care of you, don’t be afraid.”

Ethan grips back tighter, cries out, lets go. All of a sudden, his mind goes blank, there’s a blissful silence inside of him that Ethan has not heard in a long, long time. He opens his eyes, he can see like he’s never seen before, he can hear everything, his pack’s hearts beating, the expectant, worried aura that surrounds them as they look at him in awe. 

The big, brown wolf in front of him is now sitting, holding himself high, watching him, studying his every reaction, head slightly tilted to one side. In Ethan’s place now stands a gorgeous, majestic wolf, ebony coloured long fur shining under the pale winter sun, eyes flashing golden. Then, the beta can hear it in his mind. A thought being projected out, a feeling of warmth that begins to spread out inside his chest, a soft voice tugging just at the edge of his mind.

Hello, gorgeous. Don't be scared.

Ethan registers that he is whimpering. His back is arched, his head is low, tail is tucked in between his legs, Damiano can see he is absolutely paralyzed. Slowly, carefully, he moves, and Ethan flinches. 

Hush now. Come here.

Everything is bright, everything is loud, the very ground feels weird under his paws, his brain shoots in every direction, overstimulated by light, sound, touch, all the new sensations that surround him, flooding him like a river. He looks up at his alpha, realizes he’s moving closer to him, and this time, Ethan doesn’t move. The brown wolf places his muzzle gently over Ethan’s neck, allows him to nuzzle close, take in his scent, and the beta finds it surprisingly soothing.

Focus on me. I'm here, I won’t leave you.

Ethan channels his awareness to the soft touch, the warmth. In a second, two more wolves join them, and Ethan realizes there’s one of the twins standing at each of his sides, them, too, placing their heads on him, a silent, warm welcome, a promise that everything is okay, it's safe. There’s love and pride echoing through the four of them, four perfectly synced minds and heartbeats. Ethan raises his head a little bit, looks at his alpha, feels unexpectedly brave, there’s a child-like eagerness to him that makes him want to go and walk, explore. Suddenly, it doesn't feel as overwhelming anymore, he's able to process his feelings one by one, he’s no longer as scared as he’d been for so long.

Damiano begins to walk slowly, encouraging him to follow, to take small steps alongside him. Ethan realizes he is really clumsy, it feels unfamiliar to walk on four paws, and from the echo he feels inside his own mind, he's fairly certain their fellow pack members are giggling at him. 

His steps become steadier, his mind quiets down a little as he walks slowly alongside his alpha, the forest floor cracking under his paws. Ethan has never felt so oddly free, even if his bones still hurt a little and his muscles ache slightly as the walk makes them stretch. 

I’m so proud of you. 

They walk for a little longer, let Ethan explore his new identity, his new perspective of the world, until the black wolf grows weary. Without a warning, he’s changed back. He’s a human again, his wolf is finally tranquil inside him, Ethan guesses he might even be asleep. He’s sitting on the floor, next to their house, suddenly shaking with the cold, still trying to process everything that has just happened to him. Damiano appears right next to him, brings him close, impossibly close, in a warm, silent hug that says so, so much. With one hand on the small of his back, he leads him back inside, makes him sit, offers him a blanket for him to wrap around himself. The fireplace is on, and Ethan can’t help but think how cozy he is feeling. Vic, coming from the kitchen, offers him a mug of some kind of tea. 

“We are very proud of you” - she says 

She holds his hand, caresses it gently; Ethan smiles at her, mutters a quiet thank you. Then, turns to Damiano.

“What now?” - he asks 

Damiano shrugs lightly, pecks Ethan's forehead.

“Now, with time, you will get more control over it. Soon you will be able to change whenever you want to, just like we do.”

Ethan scowls.

“Will it always hurt this bad?”

Damiano shakes his head.

“No, you don't have to worry. It will become easier and easier, until it will feel as natural as breathing. One step at a time, okay?” - he reassures - "we will be here to teach you everything"

Ethan smiles, nods in agreement, cuddles up a little closer to him. He feels peaceful for a change; watching as the flames inside the fireplace slowly turn to embers, warming them, the beta feels something new just bloom inside his heart.

True hope, he thinks. Is this what true hope feels like?

Chapter Text

Dark, heavy clouds pile up in the sky, painting everything in lead-like and purplish tones ; the air feels oppressive, suffocating, a weird kind of electricity just coursing through everything, seeping through every empty space. A strong, unforgiving rain is pounding against every window of the house, swept by the wind in every direction, the sound spreading all over the house, making itself heard loud and clear, impossible to ignore. 

Maso is in the kitchen, finishing the dishes from their lunch, when a violent head rush almost makes him lose balance completely. He looks out the window, takes in the view of the stormy weather, feels himself shaking inside. He knows what this is. He knows exactly what's coming, and hates that he isn't able to control it. 

Then, a hand on his hand.

“Maso?”

It’s Vic, looking up at him, worried, noticing his sudden paleness, and how his hands grab the edge of the counter in a white-knuckle grip, so he holds steady on his feet. His sister, too, knows exactly what this is about.

The beta smiles weakly at her.

“I’m okay, I just got a little dizzy.”

Vic’s face is serious; there's a lot of people that Maso might be able to fool, but Vic is not one of those people.

“Maso, have you told Damiano you’re feeling like this? You know why it's happening...”

Maso shakes his head.

"Always so stubborn!” - Vic says, frustration clear in her voice 

Her brother sighs.

“I should be over this, Vic. It’s been a long time, I have to be over it, and plus, I’m okay.”

Vic approaches him, caresses his face, the soft stubble.

“You know it’s not that simple. Please tell Dami, Maso, you know he knows how to help you…”

As if on cue, Damiano enters the room, minding whatever he’s doing. Still looking at what he is carrying in his hands, he asks:

“Who tells Dami what?”

He is met by silence; Maso looks down at his feet, turns his back on him, and the smile quickly fades from the alpha's face.

“Maso?” - he calls out 

Then, he sees it, he notices how his beta looks unusually tired, pale, shaky. Damiano places his hand on his forehead, feeling the heat that is radiating from it.

“You do realize you have a fever, right?” - he asks.

Maso shakes his head, tries his best to give the alpha a smile, to tell him he’s okay.

Even after so long, a part of him still yells inside, telling him that he can’t be weak, that he can’t allow himself to be vulnerable like that. 

“I’m okay.”

He looks so worn out, his attempt at playing it off as something else is almost pathetic. 

“Maso, you’re clearly not” - Damiano says again.

Vic intervenes:

“That’s what I was trying to tell him!"

Maso is now leaning heavily against the counter; as a bolt of lightning illuminates the whole sky for a split second, he feels the pains all over his body, flinches, nearly falls, Damiano’s arms immediately holding him, keeping him upright. 

“Alright, Maso, lean on me now, come on.” - he reassures, as he begins walking slowly out of the kitchen, towards the beta’s bedroom - “let’s get you to bed.”

“No, no, I don’t want to, I don’t need to.” - he says, almost breathless

Damiano goes serious, Maso immediately knows that the alpha’s decision is not up for debate. 

“Maso, why do we have to go through this every single time? You’re sick, and you need bed rest ” - he states - “please. I promise it’ll help. Let me take care of you”

Ethan, who’s passing through the hallway right at the same time, in search of his mates, stops in worry as he sees Damiano half-carrying the blond beta.

“What’s going on?”

Vic, with deep concern obvious in her features, pulls him aside and explains:

“Maso’s sick. It’s… it’s the storm”

Ethan can’t help his confused expression. With a sigh, Vic goes on explaining:

“Every time there is a thunderstorm, Maso gets violently sick.” - she says, heavy hearted - “when we were… back in our former alpha’s house, he chained us both outside during a nasty storm. It was horrible, traumatizing, and it left a deep, deep mark on my brother and on his wolf as well. So every time the weather gets like this… he gets sick and never wants to tell anyone."

Ethan’s heart breaks. He knows what this feels like.

“The first time this happened after Damiano took us in, Maso didn’t tell anything to anyone for a week, every time we’d ask what was wrong, he’d just tell us nothing ”

He tries to reassure her:

“He’ll be alright, Vic”

The blonde smiles, sadly, caresses Ethan’s cheek. Then, they both head to the twins’ room, to find out how they can help.

The storm is raging outside in all of its absolute power, the thunder roaring so loud at times it seems to shake the windows and the ground under their feet.

Maso is lying down in bed, tossing, turning, whimpering as the fever rises, and the limits between reality and the horrors inside his brain seem to melt together. 

No, no, no, don't! - he’s repeating, agitated, terrified, followed by gibberish that Damiano can’t quite understand 

With the utmost patience, Damiano picks up the washcloth soaked in cold water again, presses it against Maso’s burning forehead, brushes the boy’s hair away. Maso whimpers.

“I know, darling, I know. Shh. You’ll be alright. You’ll be just fine.”

Damiano turns his head to look at the door when he hears noise behind him. Ethan is peeking, worriedly at the pair, wondering if he can, somehow, be useful. The alpha smiles at him, gestures for him to come in, as he holds on to Maso’s hand still.

“How is he?” - Ethan asks, keeping his voice low 

Damiano sighs.

“Not good. His fever is high, taking a long time to break. He’s agitated, panicking, the temperature's rising so I don't think he can tell what's real and what isn't anymore."

Ethan sees the pure, heartbreaking fear on Maso’s face even if his eyes are closed, and his breath hitches a little on his throat. Then, he looks at Damiano and notices how tired he, too, looks. 

“Dami, if you want to go rest, I can watch over him” - he offers 

Damiano gives him a light chuckle. 

"Thank you, darling, that's very kind of you, but you need your rest as well" - he says - "I'll be okay. Not my first rodeo. Do you know where Vic is?" 

Ethan says: 

"I told Vic to sleep in my room tonight, she's resting. Took me a long time to convince her, but in the end she looked so tired, she just accepted" - he informs him - “I don’t want to bother her right now, so I’ll just keep you company” 

Damiano is pleasantly surprised at this, and nods, allowing the beta to take a seat by his side, thanking him again. 

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" 

Damiano shows him the cloth he is holding. 

"Well, you can pass me that other washcloth next to you" - he says - "there's not much else we can do, for now we just wait for his fever to break, keep him comfortable and as calm as possible" 

Maso, Ethan notices, looks anything but calm. In fact, even though he's sleeping, his features are contorted in pain, fear, he's projecting such a heavy aura around him it's beginning to affect all other pack members; they can only imagine what he is going through. 

Damiano is caressing his hair, slowly, carefully, speaking softly to him:

"My poor boy." - he says - "it's okay, baby brother. It'll be over soon. You will be okay."

Ethan watches them, and can’t help remembering their conversation from before; even with the heavy load he carries, Damiano moves, speaks, acts with pure kindness. However, Maso doesn’t seem to calm down in any way, and is now thrashing under Damiano’s touch, flinching away from the cold water, from them. The alpha explains:

“He gets really agitated when he’s like this, super scared, super upset, sometimes he gets aggressive. It’s quite complicated to handle at times” - he says, heavy-heartedly  

Ethan asks:

“Shouldn’t his healing be at work here?”

Damiano shakes his head.

“Not necessarily, no. Maso’s been through a lot, dear, and now he reacts very physically to something that is buried deep inside him, inside his wolf in particular. There’s not much his healing can do about this” - he explains - “it’s a conflict, and while that conflict isn’t solved, his body behaves like this”

Ethan sighs. This isn’t at all unknown to him. 

Damiano reaches out to put some more cold water on the beta’s forehead, try to cool him down. Maso sits up, opens his eyes, but both boys understand he’s not really seeing anything, he’s somewhere else, probably too caught up in his feverish nightmares. Damiano puts his hands on his shoulders, tries to get him to lay back down, but he struggles, shies away from his touch, gasps. 

Then, Ethan ties his own, long hair behind his head, stands up, then sits beside him, slowly, carefully takes the boy in his arms, while the alpha watches both attentively, with just the slightest flutter of pride in his heart.

Ethan is running his hand up and down Maso’s back, his fellow beta all curled up against his chest; he can feel how the shirt is sticking to the sweaty skin.

“Shh, hey, let Dami help, Maso. We have to bring your fever down” - he says - “hush now. Shh. You're home. You're safe"

Magically, lulled by Ethan’s soft whispers, Maso lays back down on the pillow, allows the alpha to hold the cold cloth against his burning hot skin, as he adds words of comfort to those of Ethan.

"There we go. Everything will be okay" - he keeps reassuring - “everything will be okay. I promise”

The blond takes a little while more to quiet down, falling asleep at last. Ethan, still sitting beside Damiano in the half darkness of the bedroom, observes the alpha for a moment. He looks tired , but, unexpectedly, brings the beta a little closer to him, kisses his temple. 

“I'm proud of you, you know?”

Ethan smiles, blushes a little.

“Why?”

Damiano brushes a loose strand of hair away from his face.

“Because you know how to show a true gentleness that was never shown to you, dear Ethan” - he says - “thank you so much for helping me with Maso. You’re a natural"

Their faces are separated by a mere inch, their noses are just barely touching. Ethan, moved by impulse, moves his head forward a little, presses a soft kiss to Damiano’s lips. Then, he realizes what just happened, it all just falls down on him like the walls come crashing down. His cheeks heat up wildly, he mumbles an “I’m sorry” that probably sounds more like gibberish to Damiano. 

Damiano calls for him, as Ethan moves quickly out of the room, down the hallway, somewhere, anywhere .

He just wants to stop thinking. 

Chapter Text

The first hours of morning arrive at last; the storm has calmed down completely, leaving nothing but silence behind. Maso, still lying in bed, all huddled up under a pile of cozy blankets, is finally asleep; the fever is gone, his breathing is back to normal, and he is, at last, able to rest.

Damiano, however, still hasn’t slept at all; on one hand, he’s been busy watching over his beta, worried for his condition. On the other, though, there’s a flutter in his heart, a feeling of lightness, and he knows exactly where it’s coming from. He thinks back to his interaction with Ethan from just a few hours before; how his lips felt soft against his own, even though the kiss was quick, shy, chaste. He thinks about his raven-haired beta, about his dark eyes that speak so much more than his words, about the smile he gives him, so contained, yet becoming brighter every day. 

Damiano had been ignoring his feelings for quite a while, in fact; Ethan needed time, space, understanding , patience, not something like this pressuring him. The alpha didn’t think Ethan would be ready to admit his feelings like that. He never would’ve thought it would be the beta taking the first step. How could he have guessed?

A presence beside him distracts him momentarily; it’s Vic, leaning against the doorframe, looking tired, worried. Damiano beckons softly for her to come closer, presses a kiss to her forehead.

“How are you?” - he asks, keeping his voice low, so not to disturb the slumbering boy next to them 

Vic shrugs.

“I barely slept, but it’s okay. I’ll survive.”

Damiano nods, not saying anything, just offering her a smile and what he hopes can be a comforting presence somehow. She looks around for a second.

“Where’s Ethan?” - she asks 

Damiano shrugs.

“He must’ve gone for a walk, I’m guessing.” 

Vic raises an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

The alpha sighs, running a hand through his already disheveled hair.

“We… we kissed last night.” - he confesses, not helping the little blush that creeps up on his face 

Vic’s mouth falls open in surprise; out of everything she’d expected Damiano to say, this was most definitely not it. Even so, she goes on and asks:

“Did you enjoy it?” - she inquires, not hiding a small, mischievous smile - “do you… you know, feel that way about him?”

Damiano thinks, finds himself getting lost in those dark eyes again, rethinks how warm and safe he felt sleeping in the beta’s arms, how incredibly complete he’d felt holding him in his own, like that same piece that had been so cruelly taken away from him years before had, somehow and in a different way, slowly fallen back into his hands. 

Then, he gives Vic a sheepish grin, chuckles a little, replies:

“I don’t know… I… I think I do, Vic” - he says - “but maybe he doesn’t. He needs space. He needs healing, not… not me.”

Vic, the firecracker she always is, gently slaps the back of his head.

“What are you saying?!” - she asks - “what do you mean not me? You have taken care of him from day one, Dami, you are the embodiment of kindness and gentleness, you are so damn wise, you're handsome as fuck!”

Damiano hugs Vic a little closer, comforted by these words, doesn’t reply for a moment. Then, Vic speaks again:

“What did he say about it all?”

Damiano gets a little flustered.

“He… he ran away” - he explains 

Vic is just about to slap him again.

“You guys didn’t talk about it?!” - she asks - “Are you stupid?! Now he thinks you hate him, go say something, you idiot!” 

“Vic-”

The blonde doesn’t allow him to go on.

“Go talk to him! What are you waiting for?!”

“But Maso might wake up soon”

Vic reassures him:

“I got him now, thank you, Dami. Just go find Ethan, talk to him!” 

Damiano sighs. Poor Ethan. He must be feeling awful with himself right now. Stepping out of the house, the alpha goes in search of his runaway beta, ready to open his heart to him, but still, not able to shake off the thought that it might all be nothing more than a misunderstanding.

Ethan has been sitting outside for hours, ignoring the wind that blows softly, a cold breeze that touches his skin ever so lightly. All around him, twigs and small branches have fallen from the trees after the storm, leaving a bit of a havoc throughout the place. The raven-haired boy stares at the peaceful lake right in front of him; the stillness of the mirror-like waters contrasting with the mess the harsh weather had left a bit all over the woods, contrasting also with the absolute storm that is going on inside him.

He’s embarrassed, he’s heartbroken, he’s anxious, he’s scared. Scared that he’s just thrown it all away, scared that he’s hurt Damiano, scared that he has crossed a line beyond the point of no return. 

He still can’t figure out what it was that pushed him to kiss him; what he does know is that the nameless feeling that has been growing inside of him is now stronger than ever, impossible to ignore. And it’s not only the fact that Damiano is, most undeniably, a good looking young man; it’s mostly that he has shown him a love Ethan didn’t know existed.

But not a love in the way Ethan almost dared thinking of. Of course not, why would he want such a broken beta like that, especially when he’s had a gorgeous, pure love before?

A presence beside him startles him; he looks up to see Damiano looking at him with worry, even if he is smiling. 

He crouches down next to him, greets him, gives his cheek a light caress. Ethan smiles, looks down:

“How’s Maso?” - he asks, voice still hushed

“Much better. Sleeping with Vic at the moment. He quieted down shortly after… after you left.”

The unspoken words between the two seem to weigh too much for a second, as an uncomfortable silence sets, makes itself heard. One of them is going to have to be the first to break, just say something.

Say something, you idiot, you can do this! -  Damiano is yelling at himself on the inside.

It’s Ethan, however, the first to speak, talking just a little bit too fast, as if, at any moment, he’ll lose courage and just fall silent.

“I’m sorry, Dami, I really am” - he begins - “I… I kissed you, and I know I crossed a line, because I like you, I… I really do, you make me feel special, and so so loved, and… fuck, I like you, I don’t know what this feeling is but it just felt right, and then I… it’s okay, I know that it’s pathetic, I shouldn’t have said this.”

Damiano listens to Ethan’s breathless ramble, jaw slightly hanging open in surprise. So it wasn’t his imagination. There’s a chance his feelings could be reciprocated. For a second, he’s too stunned to say anything. Ethan goes on:

“I’m… I’m really sorry, please don’t be mad at me, I couldn’t stand losing you right now over something so stupid, Dami, I know you don’t feel the same, you probably think this is pathetic and I’ll…”

Gently, huffing out a little laugh, Damiano places his hand over Ethan’s mouth, making the beta gasp, interrupting his downward spiral of self-loathing. He’s looking at him in a shock-like state, eyes wide open, almost holding his breath.

Damiano finally has a chance to reply:

“I never said that.”

“I’m sorry, I-” - Ethan begins, not even thinking about Damiano’s answer, until it dawns on him what he just said - “what?”

Damiano is now on his knees in front of him, sitting on his heels. He cups his cheek with his hand.

“I never said that, Ethan” - he repeats - “I never said I’m mad, I never said it’s pathetic, I never said I didn’t like it, and most importantly, I never said I don’t feel the same”

Ethan thinks he’s probably going crazy.

“What?” - he says again, not able to fully process the answer he just got

“I thought you needed more time, more space" - Damiano clarifies - “I didn’t think you’d be able to feel like this about me, Ethan. And you know what, I’m really glad you do, because... holy fuck, I thought this was completely one-sided.”

The beta is absolutely lost for words.

“I’m… I… I don’t know what to do, what am I supposed to do, how do we--, I-...”

Damiano shushes him, brings him closer to his chest.

“How about we just take it slow, figure it out as we go, huh?”

Ethan nods, timidly, takes a deep breath, calms himself down. After all, he’s in Damiano’s arms, there are feelings between them that he now knows are reciprocated. 

He turns his face to look at his alpha, sees a love, an adoration in his eyes that he’d never be able to interpret as such before. Slowly, very sweetly, with one hand under his chin, Damiano tilts his head up; they look each other dead in the eyes, don’t say anything for a moment, just feel each other close, their breaths on each other.

Then, their faces come even closer, Ethan can feel how Damiano’s soft stubble tickles his skin ever so lightly. 

“May I?” - the alpha asks 

Ethan’s breath gets caught in his throat, but this time, he just throws himself right into the unknown and nods. The kiss that the alpha presses to his lips is soft, ever so gentle, like everything else he does. Even if it lasts only a couple of seconds, even if it’s contained, slow, Ethan feels everything that went unsaid, every feeling that is lying beneath it, there's pure electricity running between the both, they can feel it at the tips of their fingers, they can feel inside them, their very wolves can feel it too, connected in a way they'd never been before, longing to come out and see each other truly.   

They open their eyes again, look at each other; Damiano smiles, stands up, holds his hand out to the beta.

“Walk with me for a little, love?”

Chapter Text

The beta lying on the bed before him looks exhausted, dark eyes just a little frightened. He’s relatively young, one would think he couldn’t have lived through much yet, but the scars a little all over his body tell a different story.

The alpha is careful in how he tends to the boy’s wounds; he doesn’t wish to put him through yet more suffering, but his condition is poor. 

“I’ll make it quick, I promise, it will be over soon.” - he says, as he begins to clean the dried blood around the gashes 

The boy looks so tired he barely dares to move. Quietly, he says:

“How nice it must be to be free. That beta who got away, he's the lucky one. I heard he has a pack now, Manu can't touch him." ucky, that beta who got away. He was claimed by an alpha, he has a pack now, so I’ve heard”

“Is that so?”

The beta nods.

“I heard he's a part of Damiano's pack. That Damiano, the one Manu is always talking about. Maybe he's not so bad after all."

The red-eyed boy’s head shoots up as he looks up from what he’s doing.

“That's not possible. Damiano died years ago.”

The beta shrugs.

“Well, if it's true, he may have a ghost for an alpha."

The other man has grown awfully tense and quiet all of a sudden. Could it be? Is he, after all, alive? Can’t be. No, it can’t be… he can't dare to hope like that. He just can't. 

After a moment of silence, he says:

“I won't believe it until I see it."

Chapter Text

They walk together in silence for a little while, some pale rays of sun peeking shyly over the thick blanket of greyish clouds that still covers the sky. Ethan's thoughts are a mess, too many and too fast to actually make sense, to allow him to grasp any, making his head feel empty, as much as it feels too full. 

Damiano, on his side, can't quite describe what he feels on the inside. He's excited, happy, elated. There's almost an eagerness, a sort of anxiety to give Ethan all the love the boy deserves, even if he knows that he has to go slow, not to overwhelm him with a kind of adoration he's never known before. 

The alpha can sense Ethan's nervousness, looks at him, gives him a soft smile. 

"I can hear you thinking." - he says, chuckling lightly - "what is going on inside that head of yours?" 

Ethan gives him a shy laugh in return, doesn't yet say anything. 

"A lot and… nothing at all. It's all happening at the same time." - Ethan confesses - "I'm just a little overwhelmed." 

Damiano is sympathetic; he stops them both, looks Ethan in the eyes. 

"Remember when I told you you would always set the pace here?" - Damiano asks, sincerely - "it's still true. We will do this at your pace. Step by step." 

There's a pause, Ethan knows there is more that he wants to tell him. 

Then, he goes on: 

"And you know what, you're not the only one who's scared." - Damiano confesses - "I am terrified, darling. It's been a long time since I've felt like this. I don't want to fuck it up." 

There's a warmth in Ethan's heart at these words.

"You're so much more than I could ever have asked for, Damiano"

For his alpha's sake, Ethan pretends not to notice how his cheeks take on an adorable rosy tone. Slowly, almost embarrassed, he holds out his hand.

"Can you… can you hold my hand? Just for a little bit?"

Damiano chuckles, good naturedly, places his hand on Ethan's, intertwines their fingers in a small, gentle gesture of intimacy. Then, they resume walking. Even though the beta's smile is soft and contained, and Damiano knows he's holding back.

They stroll happily for a while longer, hand in hand, just talking softly about anything and everything that comes to mind. It feels comfortable, it feels natural. 

Then, Ethan comes to a halt, draws in a sharp breath, closes his eyes, as his hand flies up to clutch his stomach. He knows what's happening this time, which somehow doesn't make it any less scary. 

It only takes Damiano a moment to figure it out. He caresses the beta's cheek. 

"Ethan, let go, it's alright. I'm here with you. You got this." 

Ethan nods, even though he's still shaking, looks Damiano in the eyes, receives an encouraging nod of the head in return. 

This time, it doesn't hurt half as bad. There's a slight, ever present ache in his muscles that lasts for a bit, but when Ethan opens his eyes, he meets Damiano's red ones, right in front of him, the majestic creature he's becoming so used to. 

The amount of sensations he's experiencing is just about to become a little too much again. For the first time, though, Ethan feels he has gained access to a different part of his brain, somehow he feels like he can project his thoughts out freely; maybe this is what Damiano always talked about. Feeling overloaded with everything, Ethan thinks, shyly: 

Help?

Just a simple, short question. The answer is immediate; the alpha gets closer to him, does the same protective gesture he had done the first time, making it seem like he is hugging him. 

Don't be scared.

They remain like that for just a little bit longer, until Ethan moves slowly, slightly away from him.

Then, Damiano does something unexpected, nudges Ethan with his head, lowers himself on his front paws, lifting his bottom slightly, shaking it from side to side.

Ethan, confused, doesn't yet move. Damiano does it again. 

Come here. Run with me a little.

Then, Ethan understands. An echo of laughter hits his chest, there's a lightness that takes over, makes him move forward to bump his body against the brown wolf's; Damiano almost falls on his side. He runs happily, goes to stand just a few short meters away from where he is, waiting for him to follow. 

Ethan finally gets it: gets behind him, pushes him gently until he is sitting on the hind legs; the beta gets closer, nibbles at his ears; Damiano growls playfully, and the beta realizes he is not scared at all. At one point, he feels a slight pain on the underside of his paw, but ignores it. The alpha ends up pushing Ethan down with his heavy paws until both are lying down on the forest floor, covered in leaves, and dirt, and morning dew and remains from the previous nights' rain. 

Ethan barely realizes he's changed back; when he opens his eyes, he's laying on his side and sees Damiano's face again, his hazel eyes shining softly, from the faint sun light that is reflecting off them. 

He's so mesmerized for a second he barely has the time to think of how he can't yet remain as a wolf for a long time. When the thought finally settles in, the beta's smile saddens a little. Damiano's hand is caressing his hair, Ethan leans in slightly into the touch. 

"Hey. What is it?" 

Ethan sighs. 

"I just wish I could remain like that a little longer, not change back so fast…" 

Damiano shakes his head. 

"You're doing great, Ethan, don't be so hard on yourself" - he praises, then, notices the blood on Ethan's hand, sits up fast, takes it gently. 

"Fuck, you got hurt" - he continues - "that's some kind of splinter lodged in there. Let's go home, let me clean it before it closes."

Now that Ethan notices it, he can definitely feel it, the uncomfortable, burning feeling on the skin of his hand. He nods, follows the alpha in silence, through the short trail that separates them from home, thinking of how natural it comes to Damiano to just care, like it's his instinct, his second nature. 

Judging by the silence when they finally get to the house, Ethan assumes the twins aren't there, and he can't see anyone, so both figure they are home alone for the time being. 

Damiano leads him to one of the bathrooms, has him sit on the edge of the tub, kneels in front of him, holds his hand, his palm facing up. 

"It's not lodged in too deep, this happens to us all the time, don't worry." - Damiano says - "I'll take that off. Give me a second" 

He turns his back on him to go look for something inside a drawer just behind him. Then, he wipes at Ethan's palm, shows him a pair of small tweezers, tries to soothe the worry he can see on his face. 

"Relax, love. I'll just pull it off quick. I won't hurt you." - he says - "take a deep breath for me?" 

Ethan nods, closes his eyes, fills his lungs with air. For a split second, he feels a sharp pain, a burning feeling, and then, a pair of warm lips on his lips, a hand on his cheek. 

He doesn't bother opening his eyes, he just melts into the kiss. This time, it's less gentle than it had been before, it's more passionate, like all the energy from before is now flowing between the both boundlessly; there's more exploring, pushing it slightly, trying to understand how far they can take it.

Then, all the thoughts fill Ethan's mind again. He opens his eyes, pulls back, sighs.

Damiano understands the signs effortlessly. With a gentle peck to his cheek, and a hand on the back of his neck, he brings their foreheads together, nuzzles the tip of his nose against Ethan's, ever so gently. He can't help but notice the disappointment on his beta's face. 

"Slow. Alright?" 

Ethan smiles and nods. He knows Damiano will wait, no matter how long it takes him. 

Chapter Text

“I’ve never actually been able to do that, Maso” - Ethan says, with a soft sigh. 

They want to go enjoy the windy afternoon outside, the four of them, they want him to change, run along with them. Problem is, it’s been a while since Ethan’s first change, and since then, Ethan’s wolf has only come out whenever he feels like. Not when Ethan wants him to. He does feel that thing inside him, that click that he can’t quite describe, and then there he goes, that’s how it works. So far, Ethan did not once have any say in it, he is not like his pack mates, who can just change, so seamlessly, so elegantly, as easy as breathing, any time they want to.

Maso pats his leg.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything. If you never try, you never know.”

Vic gives him a nod of the head, as if to say “He’s right”. 

Damiano takes his hand, leads him outside. Even the twins have noticed something is different in the dynamic between Ethan and their alpha. It’s something very subtle, a very gradual shift in the very way they behave around each other, but of course the twins can sense it, it’s definitely there, and, in a way, it shifts something in the way the pack interacts as well. Damiano looks lighter, in a sense, and even though nothing has changed about his nature, they can him allowing himself to relax a little more. Ethan grows more and more confident every day, there is a new liveliness to his features, they can hear him laugh so much more often. Both seem to light up around each other, communicate in their own way. Even if Vic and Maso can’t quite pinpoint exactly what's changed, they don’t mind at all, because their friends, their family looks so much happier.

A small chill runs down Ethan’s spine, either from the chilly breeze or from the anticipation of what he’s about to try, he doesn’t know. The alpha is right beside him, draws small circles on his back with his hand, trying to soothe the uneasiness he knows Ethan feels.

“Just… search for him inside you. You’ll know what to do. Trust yourself.”

Vic goes first, the beautiful, bright golden wolf materializing right before their eyes. Then, it’s Maso’s turn, and he goes to sit beside his sister, waiting for the other two, feeling the wind ruffling their furs. Damiano looks at Ethan, gives his hand a gentle squeeze, then moves forward, to join the twins in the blink of an eye, then tilting his head slightly to look at Ethan, expectantly. Ethan takes a deep breath, calms himself. Even if wordlessly, he can feel the encouragement that comes from his pack mates. Something stirs awake inside his chest; even so, like a tiny flame that just gets put out, it fades away.

Ethan tries to regain his focus, tries to look inside again just like Damiano has told him to do.

Come outside, don’t leave me alone now, they’re waiting.

The words seem to have some kind of effect; something begins to bubble up right at the pit of his stomach, all of his muscles tense up. For a second, Ethan feels some kind of resistance, like that part of himself is battling hard not to come out. However, the beta refuses to give up, tries to refocus his attention, directs all his energy at whatever feeling's just started to course through his veins.

Then, comes the familiar ache in his bones, the stretch in his muscles, and before Ethan can even understand what happened, he knows he’s now seeing the world through different eyes. He moves his paws, feels the earth right beneath them, breathes deeply so the scents of the woods around them fill his lungs in a way that he can only consider soothing.

So proud of you.

The black-haired beta realizes he can’t even tell their thoughts apart; that really was the purest echo of the feeling of pride that is common to all of the pack. He feels loved, and doesn’t really think he’ll ever get used to it, but he knows now how to accept this love, how to allow himself to enjoy it. He remembers Damiano explaining to him that the bond between the members of a pack is the strongest force in the universe, and now he knows it’s true, he begins to understand just why. He’s never felt anything quite like it.

They begin to walk, seeing that the black wolf has grown much more agile; he’s finally able to keep up with them, go where they go. They feel good, and more united than ever, and the powerful warmth that invades all of them feels comfortable, safe. They stroll around, wander a little farther from home than usual, quietly keeping each other company, stopping at times to play fight, to just enjoy the freedom.

Vic looks up when something cold falls on her, but continues to walk. The wind around them has picked up, blowing strong now, sweeping away little whirlwinds of the dead leaves that litter the ground underneath. Just a second later, it’s Maso who glances up at the now dark grey sky, as more of the freezing droplets dampen his fur.

fuck

It’s not long until the heavy droplets become a thick, fucking cold curtain of water, coming directly down on them, leaving their fur damp, heavy, freezing. The four begin to just run as fast as they can, minding the fact that Ethan still can’t run as fast as them, careful enough not to leave him behind. The water clouds their vision, at one point the raindrops pound against them so heavily it even makes it hard to run.

Ethan is frozen to the bone when they finally arrive home; when he changes back, his lips are almost purple and there’s a damn waterfall trickling down from the ends of his long hair, down to his back. His pack mates don’t look much better, shivering with cold, them, too, passing towels on their wet hairs. Damiano has his back turned to them as he is lighting up the fireplace, in an attempt to warm the room, and themselves.
They look at each other in their pitiful state, and pure, unadulterated joy just bubbles up inside all of them; they let it out, in bouts of loud, boundless laughter. 

It feels good.

When evening comes, Ethan doesn’t find the experience from before half as fun. He still hasn’t been able to regain all of his body heat, even though he is wrapped in blankets, sitting on the couch and cuddling with Damiano. The twins have gone to bed right after dinner, excusing themselves with how tired they both felt, leaving the pair alone in the living room.

Besides, Ethan’s body aches all over; he realizes he isn’t, at all, used to being in his wolf form for that long, let alone running around in that much heavier body. The shifting, the running, the rain and the cold, all of that seems to have taken a bit of a toll on Ethan's overall state. Now, as he sits on the couch idly, he’s got his head on Damiano’s shoulder, and the alpha notices he is shivering slightly. 

He looks at him, rubs a hand up and down his arm in an attempt to warm him up a little. 

"Darling, are you cold?"

Ethan smiles a little, nods.

“Yeah. And a little sore.” - he says.

Damiano sighs, brings him a bit closer, then falls quiet for a couple of seconds, seeming to think about something.

“I got an idea, come here.”

The alpha stands, holds out his hand for Ethan to take, then leads him through the dimly lit hallway. Ethan must admit he’s a bit confused, but follows nonetheless, until they stop at the large bathroom. 

Damiano speaks:

“I’m running you a warm bath. Does it sound good?”

The alpha doesn’t even pretend to not notice how Ethan’s skin goes one or two shades paler. He draws in a long breath, doesn’t move from his spot, and Damiano gets right beside him, caressing his cheeks. Realization hits the alpha like a moving train, and he is quick to bring the beta close to his chest.

“Oh. I'm sorry. I... didn't think of it. It was... before?” - he asks, not really wanting to put the horrible thought into words.

Ethan closes his eyes, trying his hardest to not relive it; he knows that, this time, he’s not alone, he’s not hurting, he’s not being forced to be in the cold water. He’s with Damiano, in his home, and he’s safe, loved.

"It's okay. I'm sorry. We can just sit by the fireplace if you prefer. It's alright."

Sweet, thoughtful Damiano, apologizing for something that is not his fault. How could he have known? Ethan smiles, timidly kisses his cheek.

"I-I really didn't have a good experience before, no. But I'm with you now. I trust you."

Damiano's face lights up a little; he kisses his beta's forehead, thankful for the trust. Then, he turns to the bathtub to start filling it, while Ethan sits on the edge, watching him. It takes a while until he’s done, and the bathtub is full, steam rising from the hot water, fogging up the mirror behind them.

“Enjoy your bath."

Ethan looks down, blushes hard, until the color of his cheeks reminds Damiano of a little red pepper. The alpha raises an eyebrow, smirks.

“What is it?” 

He blurts out, almost inaudibly:

“Stay.”

Damiano thinks he understood clearly it the first time; even so, he takes a little devilish pleasure in seeing him flustered.

“What?"

“Stay… come with me.”

Damiano tilts Ethan’s head up, kisses him.

“Are you sure about that?” 

Ethan nods hastily; for as anxious as he feels, he longs to just let himself fall again, trust blindly, to know that Damiano isn’t going to fail him.

When the beta does realize, though, all of his worries are being pushed away by Damiano’s kiss to his lips. They move in sync, that same energy from before just flowing untamed between the both. Damiano’s hands are grabbing Ethan’s waist, pulling him close, then helping the beta take his hoodie off, pulling it over his head, letting it fall to the tiles beside them, and then doing the same to his own. Never parting the kiss for more than the mere seconds they need to breathe. It’s exhilarating, almost intoxicating, and completely unknown, what Ethan is feeling right now. Piece of clothing after piece of clothing both end up in their underwear, in front of each other. They exchange a look, they know they are taking it slow, as slow as they need, and they are both, wordlessly, more than okay with that. 

Ethan can’t help but appreciate the man in front of him; his body seems to have been carved with the same detail of a marble statue, and the beta almost gasps, suddenly insecure. Self-conscious, that he's still way too thin, scars litter his skin, way too fragile, too... breakable? Damiano, however, seems to read his mind; or maybe his insecurities are simply too easy to read upon his face. Coming closer to his ear, he whispers:

"You are beautiful. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Then, he pulls his own briefs down, until they lay forgotten on the bathroom floor, steps into the tub, sits, his knees pulled close to his chest, the water reaching the middle of his biceps. He encourages Ethan to follow his steps and do the same. Slowly, still a little insecure, Ethan just goes; the tub is definitely big enough for both to fit while sitting comfortably. The beta just melts into the amazing feeling of the warm water, sinks a little until it reaches just the base of his neck. 

When a bad memory threatens to haunt him, he closes his eyes; not long after, it’s Damiano’s voice grounding him back, firmly, in reality.

“Hey, come back. You’re safe.”

Ethan opens his eyes, smiles, nods. Damiano gestures:

“Turn around. Come here.”

Slowly, shyly, Ethan does it, settles between the alpha’s legs, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him how he suddenly seems to tense up a bit.

“Hey. Everything okay?” - he asks, receiving a timid nod - "relax a little. You're okay."

Ethan feels the tension fading away, as Damiano begins to slowly wash his hair, stopping every few seconds to make sure he’s alright. Nimble fingers card through the long, silky, dark strands that are just a little frizzy from the rain that fell over their heads earlier; he’s gentle as ever as he massages his scalp, scratching it, enough to make him just feel something, but not even close to hurting him.

“You'll make me fall asleep like that."

Damiano chuckles.

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

As he relaxes, Ethan feels himself melt into his embrace, leaning back until his own back is met with Damiano’s chest, and the alpha places his chin on his shoulder, bites lightly at his earlobe, playfully, a low chuckle resonates on his chest. Ethan turns his head slightly to kiss him on the lips; then, tiredness takes over, as a fuzzy feeling makes his entire being feel warm, comfortable.

“Thank you.” - he simply mumbles, hoping his alpha understood, looking him right in the eyes that flash crimson for a moment.

A kiss on his cheek.

“Whatever you need. You know I love you, don’t you?”

Ethan smiles bright, almost enough to lighten up the entire room they sit in, which is lit only by low, soft, yellowish lights. He knows. Somehow, even if Damiano hadn’t said it, Ethan would just know. He nods.

“I love you too”

They lose track of time; the water is almost cold when they finally decide to leave, their bodies never parting for long.

Chapter Text

Ethan is tied down on the bed, legs spread apart, rough rope biting at his ankles. He’s trying his hardest to make his brain go to automatic mode, to ignore the touches all over him that make him feel dirty, disgusting, that seem to burn him like flames.  This is his job. It’s what a beta must do, to please, to let them have their way with him until they are satisfied, and not be a nuisance. Be quiet, be good, and it will be over soon.

A tear runs down his face as the grip on his thigh gets tighter, almost painful. 

“Look at you, a cry baby. What are you good for?” 

Ethan jolts awake, sits up in bed, cries quietly, shivers, hiding his face in his hands. Indeed, what is he good for? A beta should please his alpha, and yet, Ethan can’t give that to Damiano. He’s broken. He’s damaged goods. Even if the alpha is kind enough to not make him feel bad about it, Ethan knows how disappointed he probably feels that he can’t give him what he should.

Soon enough, there’s a hand on his shoulder, a soft, hushed voice right by his ear.

“My love, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Ethan sniffles, brokenly, doesn’t say anything. Damiano wordlessly opens his arms to welcome the beta, letting him huddle close to his chest.

“It was a nightmare, wasn’t it?” 

The beta nods, and Damiano presses a soft kiss to his temple.

“I'm sorry, darling.” - he says - “do you want to talk about it?”

Ethan remains silent. Damiano lays back to rest against the headboard; the beta follows, laying his head against his shoulder. 

What if Damiano asks of him something he’s so scared of giving? What will happen when that moment inevitably comes?

But then again, what if things are different with him? Everything has been so different so far. And if the beta is supposed to please his alpha, has Damiano ever done it before, with another beta? Could he ever have been able to treat a beta so cruelly, in order to just please himself?

Ethan shivers. He needs to somehow just let it off his chest.

“Damiano?” - he calls out, though he immediately regrets it.

“Hm?” 

The question is plain stupid. He can’t just ask his alpha that kind of thing. He’ll most definitely be offended.

Damiano, however, turns to him, caresses his hair.

“What is it, my love?”

Ethan is very grateful that the darkness inside the room doesn’t allow the alpha to see how his cheeks change colors immediately. Ethan opens his mouth, means to say something, but goes back to not saying anything, sighs heavily. 

“It’s… it’s just-” - he then begins - “have you ever-”

Damiano looks him in the eyes, in that same way he knows how to do, where he seems to peek directly into his soul.

"Yes?" - he asks - "what's got you so worked up? Honey, you know my entire life story. I have no secrets with you."

Ethan inhales deeply, fills his lungs with air, hoping the courage to speak will just come to him like that. 

“Have you ever… done it with another beta?”

Damiano furrows his brow in confusion.

“Done what, darling?”

Ethan sighs heavily, looks down at his hands, frustrated that he's so bad with words.

“You know… if you’ve ever…”

In a second, it’s like a lightbulb appears above the alpha’s head. 

“You want to know if I’ve had sex with other betas?"- he asks, raises an eyebrow at the beta’s seemingly random question.

Ethan is deeply embarrassed, regretting having asked that to Damiano. He’s certain he’s just made him very uncomfortable. The alpha, however, chuckles lightly, just kisses Ethan’s hand.

“Well, you know I’ve only been with one other beta in my life, and the answer is yes. I have, dear.”

Ethan’s heart drops to his stomach, his eyes fill with tears, he sucks in a shaky breath. The alpha can immediately see how upset his beta is, brings him a little closer to him in a hug.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, Ethan, don’t be embarrassed. All is well” - he reassures - “why do you want to know, why does it upset you?”

Ethan tries to swallow down the lump in his throat before he speaks.

“I was… dreaming of something... something that used to happen to me quite often.” - he says - “and I was wondering… if it’s something that alphas always do with their betas. I know we should please our alphas, and I want to be good for you, and…”

Damiano understands, and his heart breaks. Ethan thinks he must give him something in return for his love. 

The alpha hushes him gently, interrupts him so he can begin explaining:

"What a horrible thought, Ethan." - he says, sadly, then making Ethan look up to face him - "Look at me, honey. You, just you, and knowing that you love me, it's more than enough. I don't need you to please me, or do anything against your will because you think you have to. I will never, ever, ask anything of you that you don't want to give to me freely. If there's anything, however, that you'd ever like us to try, I'll be happy to make sure you enjoy it."

It’s Ethan’s turn to furrow his brow in confusion.

“Enjoy it?” - he asks - "What do you mean? Am I supposed to enjoy it? How am I supposed to enjoy something to painful?”

How can Damiano's heart break even further?

"Oh, my darling..." - he begins, at a loss for words - “it's supposed to be beautiful for the both of us. I swear. If anything, I'm the alpha. It's my responsibility to see you taken care of, not the other way around."

Ethan doesn’t yet reply, seems to struggle a little to process all this new information. What world has he lived in for so many years? How is it possible that there's such a different world he's never known? How many things are still left for him to discover?

“Oh- Oh, I didn't know... I-”

The beta shivers slightly, realizing he’s been out of the comfort of the blankets for a long time, and his body is beginning to cool down. Seeing how he’s clearly still thinking about everything he’s just been told, processing the heavy load, Damiano goes on:

“Look. If there ever is something that you would like us both to try, it won't be a frightening thing, darling, I promise.”

Ethan is sure of one thing, he loves the alpha that sitting right by his side, holding him close. He trusts him, and, behind the fear that comes from reliving all the bad experiences from the past, there’s definitely a curiosity lurking, making him wonder what it would be like to just let himself and his partner connect in that way.

“I… I think I’d like to, Dami, but I wouldn’t even know how or where to start”

Damiano smiles, kisses the beta’s forehead.

“Leave it to me” - he says - “let’s talk it through tomorrow. Don’t worry about a thing. For now, let’s go back to sleep, shall we?”

Ethan smiles at him, nods.

“Thank you, Dami”

They kiss. Once, twice. Then, they lay back together, cuddling close, blankets over them shielding them from the cold and from the outside world.

A few days go by after that conversation, and nothing happens.

Still, one night, right after dinner, they end up sitting on top of Ethan’s bed together, two half full glasses of red wine on the nightstand. The beta’s head is laying on Damiano’s legs, and they have interrupted their talking and quiet laughing for a moment to just fall silent. There is that subject that they still haven’t touched, looming over their heads, and Ethan dreads it as much as he wishes to address it. 

Damiano is the first to speak, clearing his throat.

“Well, so… I've been meaning to go back to what we talked about the other day.” - he begins - “there’s a couple things I’d like to tell you, but I also want to hear what you have to say.”

Ethan nods, thinks for a minute.

“I want to do it, I’ve thought about it, and it’s a step I want to take with you.”

Damiano smiles slightly, but then, goes just a little more serious.

“I’m flattered, Ethan, and believe that I really want to take that step with you, too. But I need to know that you want to do this for you, for us , and not because you feel like it’s your duty, or anything of the sort.”

Ethan nods. The alpha goes on:

“Then you also need to know, just one word from you and we will always stop whatever we are doing. And the same applies to me, I’ll make sure to tell you if I ever need to stop.”

Ethan nods again, understanding everything the alpha is so carefully explaining to him.

“And the last thing I want to tell you is, sometimes in this… context, a part of me comes out that you might not be as used to. I really can’t help it, and it tends to be a little more dominant, it’s like… I can’t explain it, but” - he says - “it’s harmless, Ethan. I’m not telling you this to make you scared, I’m just letting you know, if it gets to be too much for you, you tell me. I’ll always be in full control of myself, that I promise you.”

Ethan understands, allows himself to think a little more about what he just heard. A cold feeling seems to be pooling at the pit of his stomach, but even so, he feels decided that he wants to go forward with this.

The alcohol coursing through his veins makes it a little easier to relax when he moves forward to kiss Damiano’s mouth. The alpha responds gladly, allowing Ethan to just explore, make himself comfortable. Without ever parting the kiss, they end up lying on their sides, facing each other, almost out of breath, but refusing to stop. Gently, with the utmost care, his shirt is pulled over his head, tossed carelessly to the floor; Damiano’s follows soon. 

The alpha now moves to hover slightly over Ethan, who lays down on the bed, facing up. He moves the kiss further down, leaving a trail down his neck, his teeth grazing over the skin ever so lightly. Ethan has no idea what this feeling is, but the truth is, he enjoys it.

The alpha has moved down to his chest, never interrupting the soft trail of kisses, hellbent on exploring every bit of his beta’s skin until he knows it by heart. He moves a little further down even, the tips of his fingers lightly trace the pattern of the scars that litter the boy’s abdomen. Suddenly self-conscious, Ethan tries to bring his hands up to his belly to cover it. Sweetly, the alpha pins his wrists at his sides, not too harshly, but still, enough to keep him from moving, then looking up at him to make sure he’s okay. He moves up for a second to whisper in his ear.

“Nothing to cover up. You're beautiful just like this. Don't be ashamed.” 

In the dim light, Ethan can see how his eyes have a soft glisten to them, the scar that runs across his cheek reminds the beta that he, too, has lived through his fair share of hardship. And as the alpha goes on with the soft touches and the feather-like kisses, Ethan has never felt them more connected. Then, he feels a tug at the hem of his briefs, pulling them down, putting them away in a second. He feels exposed, gasps softly, Damiano’s head immediately perks up to look at him, check up on him. Ethan gives him a shaky, wordless nod, and Damiano presses a kiss to his cheek.

“It's okay. Don't be afraid. Trust me.” - he says 

Damiano’s hands are warm, and Ethan feels something, like he’s never felt before. He tries to think coherently, but all blood seems to have left his brain, to go pool, quite evidently, somewhere else . An incoherent sound leaves his chest, earning a chuckle from the alpha.

“Does that feel good?”

What can Ethan say? God damn it, it does .

Gently, he feels the alpha's hands begin to move at a slow, but steady pace, soft but firm movements, soothing the growing ache he’d begun to feel but, at the same time, leaving him longing for more. A loud sound escapes Ethan’s lips. Quickly, he closes his eyes, draws in a shaky breath, bites the inside of his cheek. Quiet!, a voice in his head says. 

But then, he’s back to reality; Damiano’s hand keeps going, caressing him, ever so slowly. He whispers in his ear again:

“I want to hear you, loud and clear.”

When his movements become faster, more determined, Ethan feels like he is positively losing his mind , and the sight of his beta falling apart like that under him, head thrown back, eyes almost rolling inside his skull, black hair all sprawled around him, sweat beads trickling down his forehead, his naked body so sensitive, so responsive to his every touch, it’s almost enough to make the alpha fall apart himself. 

“My beautiful, beautiful Ethan.” 

Ethan’s every rational thought has given way to a litany of various forms of swearing Damiano didn’t even realize Ethan knew. Oh he's definitely teasing him about it later, but right now, he's too focused. They are loud, loud enough that Vic and Maso will probably hear them; they'll have a lot to explain tomorrow, but Damiano realizes he doesn’t give a fuck. Ethan looks so fearless for the first time in so many months, he could almost cry.

It doesn’t take long for the beta to just let go, crumble completely. He lets himself fall tiredly back on the pillow, and Damiano goes back to kissing him lazily.

“I love you so much” - he says 

“I love you”

Their bodies are so, so close they almost look like just one. Damiano gets up, letting go of Ethan for a second, earning a low whine from the beta that makes him chuckle.

“I’ll be right back. Let’s just clean us both up, okay?”

"Sorry. I made a mess."

Damiano smiles, shakes his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for"

Ethan sighs, content, but nods; in just a second, the alpha is back with a warm towel, cleaning him up sweetly. Ethan lays his head on Damiano’s naked shoulder, a tidal wave of emotions just washes over him , threatens to drown him, and he holds on for dear life, quiet sobs leaving his chest.

Damiano hugs back, holds him tight, shushes him.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, my love.” - he reassures

Ethan knows it’s true, how can he doubt that after everything he just showed him? As he lets himself be lulled back to sleep by the alpha’s soft breathing beside him, it’s as if one more piece of the puzzle has just fallen into place.

Chapter Text

They’re sitting quietly at the kitchen table when they feel it: a deep, urgent echo of anger just bubbles up inside them, seething, growing stronger by the second. Damiano cuts himself short, mid-sentence, stopping what he's saying; his head perks up from his cup of coffee; his gaze settles somewhere outside the glass door. Ethan is confused, to say the least. 

Damiano places his hand over his, a silent reassurance; he looks him in the eye and says:

“Stay here. I’ll be right back”

Then, he leaves the room. 

It’s Victoria who he finds outside, right by the side of their house, her stance purely aggressive, her eyes fixed in a point somewhere down by the tree line. At first, he’s puzzled, places a hand on her shoulder:

“What’s going on?” 

Only a second later, though, he sees it too. The small frame, the greyish brown hair, that fucking smile upon his face that makes Damiano’s blood boil. He can’t help that his voice comes out in a low growl when he speaks:

“What the hell do you want?" - he asks - “I thought I had told you to stay the fuck away from here.”

Manu chuckles, shakes his head.

“Now, now" - he retorts - "is that a way to greet your oldest friend?"

Damiano feels a nervous, almost panicked aura behind him. Of course. Of course Ethan has followed.

The beta didn’t want to be left behind, not when his family could be in danger. He had to defend them, too, not just stay behind like a coward.

He takes a long, sharp breath, feels Maso’s hand on his own, as they both stay behind Damiano and Victoria.

Manu’s laugh when their gazes interlock for a brief second is almost enough to send him into a bout of nausea.

“Ethan… beautiful Ethan, long time no see.”

Ethan tries his best to not be intimidated, to not relive everything now that the alpha is standing just a few feet away from him.

Damiano’s voice is heard; loud, clear, much deeper than normal, he doesn’t turn his head to look at him. Ethan doesn’t need to look to know his eyes are probably shining a bright, fiery crimson, his lips pressed to a thin line.

“Ethan, go back inside.”

Ethan doesn’t move. Even if every fiber of his being somehow just wants to obey his alpha’s order, he stays.

“Ethan, Ethan…” - Manu says again - “you won’t even come give your alpha a hug and a kiss?”

Victoria gnarls, low, threatening. Damiano’s just on the verge of losing whatever little patience he has left. When Ethan speaks, however, for as anxious as he feels inside, his voice does not falter, his words are loud and crystal clear.

“You are not my alpha. Damiano is.” 

Damiano speaks again.

“Ethan, go inside ”

Manu laughs again, claps sarcastically.

“What a good boy you are, doing as alpha says, saying what alpha teaches you…” - he says - “you were never like that with me, were you? How much beating up did it take to get you all nice and obedient? Maybe I'll bring a whip next time, have a little one-on-one time with you, what do you say?”

Ethan is about to retort, even if his heart is racing inside his ribcage and tears are pooling at his eyes.

Damiano speaks, a third and final time, and this time, his deep, gruff voice comes loud , making the beta jump.

“Ethan, fucking go back inside. Now!”

Ethan is stuck in place; Damiano has never once talked to him like that. When he realizes, his chest hurts at every breath he tries to take. He’s vaguely aware that Maso’s hands are pushing him inside, but other than that, everything around him looks, feels, sounds blurry.

Damiano’s heart has fallen down to his stomach, every cell inside him is yelling at him to just go after Ethan, go hold him, go reassure him that everything is alright, but he can’t allow his resolve to crumble right now. Vic speaks:

“Do you want me to take care of this? I’d be more than happy to rip his throat out.”

Damiano shakes his head, never ceasing to make eye contact with the other alpha.

“You do realize you're trespassing, right? Stay here one more second and there will be consequences." - he warns - "you don't fucking scare us. I told you"

Manu chuckles.

“Don’t I? If I don’t, I should. Your little toy back there seemed scared enough.” - he retorts - “I’ll come back some other time, though.”

Damiano doesn’t reply, just growls.  

Manu eventually turns back and gets going in the opposite direction, leaving anger, confusion in his trail.

Ethan knows he’s still sitting on the living room couch. He’s home, where he’s safe , and even so, Manu’s face is all he can see, and Damiano’s rough words from before still echo inside his brain. 

His throat feels closed. The bigger the breaths he takes, the more he expands his lungs, inflates his chest, the less air that makes it through. It hurts, and he’s aware every single breath he is taking produces low, pathetic whimpers, wheezes. Maso is kneeling in front of him, hands placed on his legs. Even if his lips are moving, Ethan’s brain struggles to register the words.

Ethan. Ethan, breathe.

Ethan can't breathe. He’s afraid, filled to the brim with dread. Damiano’s growl is still loud, clear inside his mind; does the alpha, after all, hate him? Maybe Manu’s words poisoned his brain against him?

The front door creaks open; Damiano comes in, upset, angry, Victoria following right behind him . Why can’t the damn man just leave their lives once and for all, let them go on without constantly reminding them of a painful past, without feeling like a threat just looming over their happiness, the happiness that took them so long to conquer?

Damiano sees his boy, curled up on the couch, struggling to breathe, whimpering, crying, despite Maso’s every attempt to calm him down. 

Fuck. Damiano hates himself strongly when he thinks he might have ruined, in a mere second, all the trust and love they have worked so hard to build.

Slowly, exchanging a look with Maso, who steps aside for a second, Damiano kneels down in front of Ethan, takes his place.

Ethan flinches hard, and Damiano almost wants to cry at that.

"Ethan. Ethan, my love, shh, shhh. Don't be scared. Please, don't be scared." - he calls, softly hushing him - “breathe. Just breathe, please.”

The beta feels like he’s drowning.

Damiano asks:

“Can I come closer?”

Almost mechanically, Ethan nods. Damiano lifts himself to sit right next to his beta, brings him close, once he’s sure Ethan won’t flinch away again.

He presses a kiss to his temple.

"I won't hurt you, sweetheart. I won't hurt you. Breathe with me, we're all going to be okay. I swear I won't hurt you."

Ethan inhales, exhales. Inhales, exhales. Tries to repeat it, consciously, a few more times, tries to match it with Damiano’s soft, slow breaths beside him, soothed by the sweet nothings he’s whispering.

It’s when he realizes, it’s his Damiano, his alpha. Never changed. He'd never in a million years hurt him. He's not the other man; he's home, and love, and safety. 

When Ethan’s breaths are close to normality again, Damiano speaks to him, never stopping the soft caresses, the gentle kisses he is leaving on his hair.

“I can't tell you how sorry I am, my darling." - he says - "I know I scared you. I am so, so sorry. My instinct will always be to protect you, at all costs. I'm sorry I was so harsh, I didn't mean to."

Ethan sighs.

“I’m sorry.”

Damiano shakes his head.

“You don't ever have to apologize.”

“If I hadn’t come here, you’d be at peace, he wouldn’t have come here either and--”

Damiano cuts him short.

“Don’t. Please don’t” - he says - “we take care of each other. It's what a pack does, it's what a family does.”

“I’m scared. He came for me, didn’t he?”

Damiano holds him tighter; he doesn’t know what to reply. He wishes he had an answer to give him, but he truly doesn't. He can't predict what Manu's plans are.

"Whatever happens, my love, you have nothing to be scared of. We won't let anything happen."

Ethan opens his eyes slowly to see the white ceiling of Damiano’s bedroom. He knows it’s the middle of the night, he can tell from the overall silent atmosphere and from the quiet coming from outside. Something pulled him out of his otherwise surprisingly peaceful slumber. At first, he can’t exactly understand what it is; no nightmares had haunted him, no storm outside had disturbed his sleep. Then, he hears it. 

At first, he can only see Damiano’s silhouette beside him; one could actually think the alpha is sleeping. However, Ethan listens carefully for a moment, and he can see how his body twitches at times, small, quiet whimpers leave his chest.

Ethan shakes him gently; it doesn’t take long to pull him out of his troubled state, and the alpha opens his eyes, seemingly taking a moment to observe his surroundings, to understand where he is. Ethan’s hand comes up to caress his cheek; Damiano holds it, leans onto his touch, sighs softly. 

“Are you okay?"

Damiano shuts his eyes slightly, pinches the bridge of his nose, nods.

“Just a bad dream. I’m glad you’re here now.”

Ethan allows him to cuddle closer, bury his face in the warm crook of his neck, taking in his scent, letting himself be soothed by his beta's presence. He's there. He's safe. 

“I’ll always be here. I promise.”

Damiano smiles, kisses his lips.

“I know. So will I.”

Chapter Text

This beta is young. Shockingly young, green eyes full of dread, shaking hands, the open wound on her forehead bleeding slowly down the side of her face, staining her dark blonde locks with the red tint. 

“You’re going to be okay.”

“It hurts.” - she says, voice low, so low 

“I know. I’m so sorry."

At this point, Manu’s voice can be heard from the other side of the room, where he stands against the doorframe.

The alpha looks up at him, a blinding rage just boiling inside his chest. The sole figure of the man is enough to nauseate him, to physically disgust him. However, he knows there is nothing he can do. He needs him.

“I didn’t take you back in for you to waste time chatting around.” - he says - “don’t go all smart on me.” 

The alpha spits out the words in response, almost through gritted teeth. 

“Fuck you”

Manu steps closer, until he is right next to him, looking him dead in the eye. 

“Watch your mouth, you spoiled brat . You’re only alive because I allow it.” - he says, menacingly - “unlike that stupid, foolish, useless other one.”

He wants to scream. No. No, you’re lying, you have to be lying.

He can’t allow the flicker of hope inside him to just be crushed again like that, not after everything; as he goes back to caring for the beta in front of him, he thinks, he has to find a way to get out, to just find out if there’s still any purpose in holding onto something that might not be real, that might be a mistake, a misunderstanding. 

Manu leaves the room without another word. 

Chapter Text

Damiano sees a shadow from the corner of his eye, catching a glimpse of the moving silhouette between the trees, against the dark background. It’s fast, too fast and too distant for him to make out what it is. It moves, it stops. Damiano feels a shiver run down his spine, squints his eyes to try and have a better view, and the alpha can’t shake the feeling that whatever it is, is looking back at him. 

Just as he is about to move closer, he hears a sound in the distance, like a dry thud, as if something really heavy is falling to the ground. When he looks again, the shadow has disappeared from his view and everything goes silent again.

Despite the uneasy feeling he can't shake off, he goes back inside.

Ethan can’t sleep. He tosses, and turns, trying to find a comfortable position to settle in. It’s too cold, it’s too hot, he is restless; at one point, Damiano, sensing his agitation, runs his hand up and down his arm, with gentleness, kisses his hair.

“Try to sleep, darling. You're exhausted.” - he whispers in the darkness 

“I am trying to.” - he replies, a tinge of sadness in his voice

Damiano understands; ever since Manu’s reappearance in their territory, Ethan’s been anxious, distraught, Damiano would almost dare say afraid. Maybe it’s the heavy load of bad memories he brought back, maybe Ethan senses a threat, something more. Either way, the alpha just wishes he could help his beta’s troubled state of mind, to bring him some form of peace somehow.

“I know you are. I know.” - he reassures - “I’m right here beside you”

Ethan nods, tries to shut his eyes, hoping sleep will come to him like that. He tries, and tries for a while, even after he realizes, by the sound of his breathing, that Damiano has fallen back asleep at his side. 

There’s a kind of fear in his soul that refuses to leave him, images from the past that have been replaying in his mind too often, like a movie he can’t help but watch, it haunts his consciousness, it haunts his nightmares. He is tired, and he doesn’t think there is anything anyone can do for him at this point.

Ethan sighs, a long, exasperated sigh. Slowly, careful not to wake the other up, he gets to his feet, leaves the room, treading lightly in the darkness of their house. Maybe some fresh air from outside will help him clear his mind and finally get some rest. 

Outside is quiet as always, save for the sounds of the night creatures that scurry around, going about with their lives. Ethan almost envies their peace of mind, when peace of mind is something he hasn’t known for a while. He feels bad, almost ungrateful; he has a home, a family that give him everything, that give him all the love and nurturing he could ask for, that wait for him to heal with patience and care, and even so, he can’t bring himself to let go of the pains of the past, it takes so little to tear down the wall of sanity he’s been working so hard to build up.

The beta wipes at the tears in his eyes, stretches his legs, moves around, lets the cool breeze make his way down to his lungs until his chest is hurting. He can barely see his way through the dimly lit way, but it's like he knows where to go and how to navigate the darkness. He's been walking for a while, though, and realizes he's gone a little off path, probably beyond their territory, so he figures it's best to come back before he runs into trouble.

Suddenly, a noise catches his attention, making him turn his head to the side abruptly in the direction where it’d come from. He listens closely for a while longer, but everything is silent. Then, he resumes walking. Just half a minute later, he hears it again; it sounds like crying, pained, distressed. Adjusting his vision, the beta tries to understand what it is that he is hearing.

He moves a little further inside the tree line, until, by the base of a large, old tree, he sees someone . A small someone, all curled up on themselves and crying softly. Ethan realizes it’s a girl, a small, beta girl, messy locks of hair framing her dirty, wounded face. She flinches away when he gets closer. Ethan crouches down right next to her:

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you.” - he says - “what are you doing here? Are you okay?”

The beta is genuinely worried, and his heart breaks for the small girl in front of him. Just as he’s looking around, trying to figure out what to do, he realizes there is someone else in there with him. 

“Long time no see, Ethan” - he hears a gruff, all too familiar voice, right behind him, just by his ear - “such a good heart you have.”

It dawns on him, with horror, what it all means.

There’s a sharp pain in his neck; then, his vision goes blurry around the edges, and Ethan passes out.

It’s barely morning when Damiano jolts awake in bed, with a sinking feeling growing stronger at the pit of his stomach. He opens his eyes to an empty and cold bed beside him, signaling it had been vacant for a while. 

Worried, he moves out to the hallway, to the living room, to the kitchen.

“Ethan? Love?” 

No answer. In an instant, the twins are standing right beside him, sharing the feeling of worry that the alpha is probably broadcasting to every pack in the vicinity right now. This isn't Ethan. Leaving in the middle of the night just like that, wandering around by himself outside, not telling anyone anything, not being back before morning. Damiano knows this is out of character.

He steps outside, just as the first rays of dawn are breaking through, notices the footprints in the mud, follows them, the tightness in his chest growing more and more painful by the second, Vic and Maso by his side.

They don’t know how long they’ve been searching for, following a very dim scent, getting deeper and deeper into a part of the forest they just know Ethan would never simply wander into, when a crumpled piece of paper, pinned to a tree, gets Maso’s attention. He picks it up, opens it, realizes there is writing in it that he proceeds to read out loud. 

If you want to come find him, you know where he is. 

The three of them know where it came from, who wrote it, and what "You know where he is"  means. That motherfucker. He knows what he's doing, and he knew they would follow the same trail and eventually stop there. Damiano growls, a visceral growl that rips through his very insides, almost scaring the two betas who are trying to comfort him, keep him calm. He needs his head cool, he needs to think, but all the alpha can think is I failed him I failed him I failed him, because, as a matter of fact, he has failed to protect the one he had sworn he would protect with his life.

Later when they’re back inside their house, and the three have done a huge and sorrowful amount of thinking, Damiano speaks, finally realizing, without a doubt, what it all really means

“I have to go back there.”

Vic scowls, tears in her eyes, brings him close to her chest.

“We have to go back”

Maso nods. No way in Heaven or Hell are they leaving their alpha, their brother alone.

“Vic, Maso-”

“We. The three of us. Together” 

Damiano just nods quietly, as he crumbles down to bits in Vic's arms, and the tears and sobs consume him like a wildfire. 

When Ethan comes to his senses, he has no idea how much time has gone by.

Even so, he knows he’s sitting on the hard floor, his head hurts, his body aches. His clothes have been ripped off almost entirely by what seem to be claws, leaving him shivering with cold. He tugs at the chains that bind his wrists, his ankles; tugs, tugs with brute force, but they don’t move a millimeter.

He’s alone, between the four walls he’s never really forgotten. Hot, heavy tears stream down his face, he had to known this was bound to happen sooner or later, stupid, weak him, for not being able to defend himself. He’s been here too many times before, abandoned until it’s time for the alpha’s to find some use for him again. 

This time though - unlike all the other times, when he had no one else in the world - when he cries out, desperately trying to break free, it’s Damiano’s name he calls for, until his throat is raw and his voice fails him.

Chapter Text

The setting sun has painted the sky in fiery tones of pink and orange. Shadows begin to stretch lazily over the quiet woods, quiet settling in slowly. Deep in the woods as he is, immersed between the tall trees that hide him from the outside world, Damiano would almost appreciate the beautiful scenery, if it wasn’t for the burning ache, the gaping hole that fills the space inside his chest where his heart should be.

He is sure it would hurt way less if someone had just ripped his insides out.

Tomorrow night we go. - Maso had suggested 

Damiano’s first reaction had been a frantic “No, we have to go today, that’s too long, he might…”. Then, Maso (bless his soul), always the best of them at keeping a cool head in times of need, had reasoned: 

If we go today, we go unprepared. He’ll be expecting us to run after him.

Manu wouldn’t do anything to Ethan; he wouldn’t go through all of the bother of taking him away to just kill him like that right after. Manu could be petty, evil, but he wasn’t dumb.

Damiano had fallen silent, out of counter arguments. Maso was right, god damn it.  

Now he’s on his knees, he’s been on his knees for so long he no longer feels the ache in his joints. He looks at the pile of bluebells, placed down in the ground before him, bitter tears run down his face.

Before he realizes what he is doing, he finds himself speaking out loud, hushed voice, broken, as if crushed by the weight of everything that is happening.  

“What will I do now, my love?” - he speaks, not quite sure to whom - “Ethan is wonderful and I don't deserve him. Cora, I promised I'd always protect him, and I failed, yet again... I can't lose him too." 

A strangled sob leaves him. 

“I don't want to go back there. But I can't abandon him... my boy.” - he goes on - “what if it's too late? Oh Cora, I miss you so much.”

He doesn’t dare think about it, the single thought is enough to destroy something inside him. Then, with a deep breath, Damiano turns to the white daisies.

"Fuck, Poppo, what would you do? I can't keep doing this without you.”

His heart aches so bad , as loud, uncontrolled sobs tear him apart from the inside, he’s sure he’s in a pitiful state, talking to his dead loved ones as if they can actually hear him. 

He has no idea if it’s been minutes or hours, when a hand on his shoulder startles him from his stupor.

Maso can see he’s torn to shreds. He brings him into a tight, heartfelt hug, only wishing it could mend all of his wounds.

“We will get him back. We will bring him home, Dami”

Damiano really, really wants to believe him, but he isn’t sure if he can.

Chapter Text

Ethan stopped crying a while ago. He know it’s of no use, no one’s coming for him; even if it was a chance someone would, he'd never dare ask that of Damiano, ask him to return to this house of horrors where he, too, has suffered so much. 

Manu had come in just a few hours earlier. He had made him stand up, had grabbed his face roughly, had banged his head against the wall behind him when he'd tried to free himself from his grasp. 

“Thought you could escape me, didn’t you?” - he'd asked out loud, spitting out every word, harshly - “you can’t. No one can. You’re nothing but a weak, useless , inferior beta, and I plan to make sure you learn your fucking place this time.”

Moved by an invisible bout of rage, bravery, stupidity, Ethan spat in his face. Wiping it slowly with the back of his hand, Manu chuckled lowly, threateningly, then spoke:

“I’m about to make you regret that.” 

Shortly after, only Ethan’s agonized screams and grunts filled the silent air, as the alpha lashed out violently, until the beta was nothing but a sobbing, broken mess on the floor.

The door creaks open slightly, letting a little light inside the dark room; Ethan flinches, presses his back against the wall, although the chains keeping him in place don’t allow him to go very far. He can’t quite make out the features of the figure standing in the doorway; whoever it is, it just stands there, doesn’t move closer. Does it matter if it's just another alpha, really? His whole body aches, and he doesn’t feel like moving, anyway. 

Then, the figure speaks in a quiet voice:

“Don’t be frightened. I want to help you.” - they say - “when Manu comes, in a bit, you have to pretend that you’re really sick. I imagine you are actually hurt, but you have to pretend it’s even worse. Come to me then, I’ll explain everything.” 

Ethan is too puzzled to speak, but he just nods, silently. The person closes the door, plunging the room into darkness again, leaving the beta to his own devices once more. 

What’s going on, after all? Who is this, and why would they want to help him? 

Indeed, as the person had predicted, Manu returns shortly after. Ethan braces himself for more pain, tries to reach that place inside him that allows him to just go numb, dissociate, not feel anything, even if his whole body feels like it’s on fire. With Damiano, he could just let his guard down. Here, he can’t, and now he has to relearn how to go through all of it again.

Ethan doesn’t move, doesn’t even try to wipe the blood that trickles down the side of his head. Manu wants to make him stand up again, but Ethan makes his whole body heavier, hard to lift, winces in pain at every movement, and holds himself up on shaky legs. At this point, everything hurts so much it’s hard to tell how much of it he is faking and how much he’s actually feeling, but it doesn’t matter; Manu seems to have fallen for it.

“Pathetic” - the cruel alpha blurts out with a scoff - “get on your feet, you’re going to get fixed. If there’s no fixing, then it’s a good excuse to just end you once and for all.”

The chains on his ankles fall to the floor beside him with a metallic sound; step after step, with Manu pushing him from behind, not really caring if Ethan’s sore body can keep up with the pace or not. They leave the room, move through numerous hallways, down a flight of stairs, and into a room; they come to a halt at the door that Manu opens roughly, Ethan is carelessly pushed inside, almost losing balance. 

“No funny business. You can’t fool me.”

The door shuts behind him with a loud bang. Ethan looks around; the room is white all over, a few cabinets on the walls, a bed resting against the opposite wall, with a chair beside it. He has never been down here before. The beta flinches hard, gasps, when he realizes he’s not alone. There's another presence in the room.

Ethan turns his head to see that there is a young man who stands beside him; there’s an overall dominant aura surrounding him, he's clearly an alpha too, however, unlike Manu, there is a kindness to his face, as he watches him with worry. His eyes are dark, as is his hair, which is put up in a bun. 

His face is so familiar to Ethan; although he is absolutely sure that he has never been with this person in his life, there’s something about him that just makes the beta feel like he has, indeed, seen him before, somewhere else. The man comes closer, slowly, places his hand on the small of Ethan’s back, guiding him to sit on the bed. The beta is rigid, barely dares to move. How come he had never been in this room before? He tries to reassure him:

“Hi. It's okay. I’m sorry we have to meet like this.” - he says - “this is a safe place. Manu doesn't usually stick around while I'm working, he really doesn't care what happens here. The door is locked, no one can see us or hear us, there’s no one here except the both of us. You are safe, rest assured.”

Ethan allows himself to relax just a little bit, though never letting his guard down.

The man is now checking his wounds, quickly beginning to tend to them as he talks to him. Something in the way he moves gives Ethan a feeling of déjà vu he can't help or understand.

“I need you to listen closely to me, Ethan” - he says, his tone hushed, a certain urgent tone to the way he speaks - “tomorrow night, I’m helping you get out of here, but we have to wait for the right time so we do it safely. I’ll come meet you around midnight, but I need you to be ready, and brave, alright? I’m getting you back home.”

Ethan is too stunned to speak. Who is this person? Why does he want to help him? How does he know his name? Trying to hide the shakiness in his voice, the beta asks:

“Wait… why me? Why not the other betas he keeps here?” - he begins - “and… who are you? How do you know my name?”

The man stops what he is doing, looks up at him, right in the eyes, smiles kindly at the beta’s confused string of questions.

“Something tells me you already know who I am, but I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself properly" - he says, as he takes in the beta’s confused looks - “there is only one other beta here, the little girl you saw yesterday. But my baby brother seems to be particularly fond of you.”

At first, Ethan is even more puzzled. What is the stranger talking about? Then, it’s like a switch flips inside him. Yes, he knows exactly why this young man’s face feels so familiar to him. It’s so similar to a face he’s come to know by heart.

Still looking at him in the eyes, Ethan whispers, more to himself that anything else:

“Poppo…”  

The man chuckles, nods. 

“In the flesh. Nice to meet you, Ethan”

For a couple of seconds, the beta is too surprised to come up with anything intelligent to say. Then, he asks the obvious question:

“How?” - he says - “Dami told me you had died… Dami really thinks you are dead, he mourns you.”

Poppo’s face goes sad, heartbreakingly sad.

“Up until a month ago, or so, I was convinced he was dead, too, Ethan. The last time I saw him, Manu was attacking him like a wild beast. I mourned him bitterly all these years.” - he confesses - “I’ve been trying to find him ever since I heard he was still alive, and it turns out he was living in our home… so close to me all this time… and all because Manu told each of us that the other had died…”

Ethan doesn’t know what to say, but shortly after, Poppo goes on explaining:

“I almost died that night. Somehow, I found the strength to run away and hide, hoping he wouldn’t find me and finish what he had started” - he says - “for years, I moved from place to place, I tried to continue doing my job, but I wasn’t successful. I tried to get as far away from here as possible, but I was alone, with nowhere to stay, and I didn’t know how much longer I’d be able to make it. Then a few months ago, Manu found me again, I have no idea how. I thought he wanted to kill me; turns out he wanted me to work for him again, in exchange for… sparing my life and giving me a house, I guess? I didn’t want to come, Ethan, I didn’t want to keep being a part of all this , but he told me he had killed my brother… and I wouldn’t survive alone much longer, what choice did I have?”

His voice is heavy with emotion as he recounts this to the beta in front of him. Ethan says:

“You didn’t have a choice. I understand.” - he says 

Poppo smiles, sadly, takes Ethan’s hand.

“I’m taking you back home to your pack, Ethan, and we will end this once and for all. I swear to you, even if it’s the last thing I do.”

Ethan is deeply moved by these words, holds his hand a little tighter, a silent thank you .

“Is he not going to find us and bring us back?” - he finally voices his worry

Poppo shakes his head.

“He was only able to bring you back the other night because you left your pack’s territory. As long as you stay with your pack, there’s nothing he can do. And I don't intend to leave him able to finish his job, either.” - he explains 

Ethan nods, feels the tightness that grows inside his chest as anxiety takes over his brain. Poppo goes serious, looks at him, makes sure they’re really understanding each other.

“Trust me, Ethan. Last time, I was too young and unprepared. This time there will be no mistakes.” - he says - “tomorrow night. I’ll come find you when it’s time. Be ready” 

Chapter Text

The last light of day disappears in the distance, draping a blanket of darkness all over. 

Damiano is sitting on the couch, head in his hands, feeling sick, anxious to a point where he isn’t even sure he can breathe anymore. What if everything goes wrong? What if it’s too late? An image flashes through his mind, of his beloved boy, still, lifeless… and it all sends him deeper down the spiral of panic that threatens to consume him.

Vic’s hands are cupping his cheeks.

“Dami. Dami, don’t break down on us now” - she pleads - “I know you’re scared, I know this is all so fucked, but you’re our alpha, we need you right now, Ethan needs you”

Maso speaks next, sitting, too, next to him.

“We will be with you, Dami. We stick together” - he says - “take a deep breath, and let’s go get our brother back”

Damiano is the one to lead them through the darkness; sadly, his feet know the way all too well, still. They walk in silence, side by side, hastily making their way to the dreaded place. Vic and Maso feel the struggle that goes on inside their alpha, as he is reliving everything, every moment, every horror he’s been through at the hands of the cruel man. 

As soon as they arrive at the closed doors, they move stealthily, the absolute darkness covering their trails. The old front door doesn’t take long to budge under the alpha’s strength, as he proceeds to open it with a surprisingly little amount of noise. 

“Stay here, guys, I go alone now”

Victoria scoffs.

“Like hell you're going alone!" - she says 

Damiano knows there’s nothing he can say that’ll keep the twins from following him. 

They stop in their tracks, listening closely for any movement or anything out of the ordinary; when they hear nothing, they enter, remaining together as they move through the unguarded, unmanned corridor. Manu’s little business has always functioned in such a shady, shadowy way, the man has never really felt the need to enforce the security of the house; after all, it’s an old, unkempt, unremarkable house in the middle of nowhere. From the outside, it pretty much looks abandoned, secluded by high trees and bushes, why would anyone be interested in what’s going on in there? 

That’s exactly where he’s wrong. 

Just when the alpha is about to wonder how they’re going to find out where the hell their beta is, in the middle of all those closed doors that look the same, he feels it. The energy, the projection of pure pain and distress that affects all of them like a dark cloud looming over their heads, like a punch to their faces, that makes bile rise in their throats, that forms knots in their chests and makes it hard to breathe.

It’s Ethan. It has to be Ethan, and Damiano knows exactly where to find him, moving with haste towards the last door to their left. He’s blinded, all he can see is the way that will lead him back to his boy, to the beta he’d sworn to protect. He can see the door has been left unlocked. After all, why bother locking a door when he’d taken extra measures to make sure the defenseless beta couldn’t move from his spot inside the room?

Vic and Maso stay outside to make sure they can protect them and warn them if something goes wrong. 

He listens for a couple seconds, and the room sounds silent as a tomb. It’s either empty or… or Damiano doesn’t even dare thinking of the other possibility. It’s only when he opens the door that he hears a loud, unexpected gasp. 

Even though it’s dark inside, and the dim light from outside doesn’t allow him to see much, his eyes are quick to adjust. On the corner of the room, arms bound by heavy metallic chains, as are the ankles, sits his beta. There’s a wound on his forehead that’s been patched, there are bruises all over his body, just like the night they found him in the woods.

However, this time, he’s very alert and looking at him, eyes wide, mouth agape, trying to understand who’s coming into his prison cell. At first, Ethan doesn’t seem to recognize him.

Then, Damiano is quick to crouch down in front of him. There are tears in his eyes, gliding down his cheeks, his voice barely comes out when he tries to speak. A whimper leaves Ethan’s throat, he’s thrown into an absolutely irrational panic, struggling with his restraints, just trying to reach his alpha.

He has come for him. He has come for him. He has come for him.

Even with the heavy load he has brought with him from that very house, Damiano has come for him.

The alpha takes his hands, tries to hush him, calm him down, worried that someone might be alerted by the noise his chains are making. Slowly, voice very low and soft, he speaks:

“Oh my sweet Ethan.” - he says, not able to hold back the emotions that are clear in his voice - “ shh, shh, I’m here, Vic and Maso are here too” 

Ethan responds, clearly stunned:

“You came” - he whispers 

Damiano nods, caressing his face.

“Of course. Of course we came, my boy, I’m so so sorry” - he says - “we’re taking you home. We’re taking you home with us, you’ll be safe and sound. I love you so much”

Then, Ethan remembers: it’s not yet midnight. Poppo… Poppo needs to know. 

“Damià, Damià, listen - “

He’s interrupted by the door swinging open behind them, so loudly and so violently it’s just about to fly off its hinges. Vic and Maso are shoved to get on their knees in front of them, restrained by two of Manu’s boys, and Damiano realizes, oh fuck, oh no no no, it’s all happening again. 

Manu is standing right by the doorway, with anger, blind rage carved all across his face, replacing his usually sarcastic expression.

“So you haven't learned your lesson yet, have you? Stupid boy ”

Damiano stands up, puffs his chest, this time he walks up to Manu fearlessly. It’s now or never.

“Let's finish what we started, Manu.”

Manu is snarling at him; Damiano is growling, aggressively; they never break eye contact.  There’s so much tension in the air they can almost physically cut through it. 

“You know you don’t stand a chance” - the older alpha spits out 

“Test me, then”

In one split second, the big, brown wolf materializes in front of Ethan’s eyes, as he watches in horror, absolutely unable to move from his spot. Manu has shifted too, his wolf much smaller than Damiano’s, but still, moving dangerously. Their growls and snarls are the only sounds that fill the otherwise quiet room; Vic and Maso have managed to shift, release themselves from the other men’s hold, ready to spring into action at any time.

It’s Manu who goes for the first bite, which Damiano dodges skillfully. Then, the brown wolf jumps over him, overpowering him momentarily, heavy paws keeping him down, waiting for him to just surrender . Ethan has never seen Damiano fight like this before, and even though it’s an absolutely terrifying sight, the grace with which he moves is every bit as fascinating. 

Manu’s boys have fled the room at Vic’s first growl, not even bothering to change. 

The fight goes on, the betas try to help as much as they can. At one point, something comes flying from behind the doorway; with a whoosh of air, it sticks right into their alpha’s side, as he howls in pain, a sound so desperate, conveying such absolute agony, Ethan almost wants to vomit.

Manu manages to shake them all off, his heavy paws pressing the younger alpha onto the ground, the sickening sound of bones breaking under him.

Damiano has changed back to his human form, suddenly too weak to remain as a wolf, clutches his side where the arrow has landed, a warm, red liquid oozing down his side; everything hurts, everything burns, it’s such a blinding pain he can barely move. 

The older alpha, now human, too, is almost assuming victory, turning to the blond betas who are watching in horror as their alpha contorts in pain on the floor.

“Should I keep both your pretty faces here to keep Ethan company? Or should I just put you both out of your misery, like I’m about to do to your precious little alpha boy? What a difficult decision.”

Victoria goes to stand in front of Maso, her growls so loud Ethan knows Manu is hiding how scared he really feels. Messing with her is one thing; messing with her pack is an entirely different story. Even so, there’s a dread inside both of them, they know there’s not much they can do without Damiano, they’re just unfocused as the echo of blinding pain that radiates off of him affects all of them beyond their understanding.

Out of nowhere, a shadow comes flying, bumping against Manu, throwing him down to the floor beside him. It’s a dark wolf they have never seen before, putting the entirety of his weight over the older alpha’s body, pinning him mercilessly to the cold floor.

Even so, Manu chuckles, evidently nervous.

“You wouldn’t do that.”

The loud growl they hear suggests a very clear Oh, wouldn’t I?

In a fit of rage, the new alpha throws himself at the man, bites his side, moves his head from side to side, as if he’s just a puppy playing with his new chew toy. Dark red blood is beginning to pool down on the floor beside him, reflecting the dim moonlight that is peeking from behind the window. Vic and Maso are startled out of their stupor, to understand they have to help whoever this stranger is. They join the fight, that isn’t really a fight, it’s more the three young wolves overpowering the heartless, bleeding man.

The stranger is now human again, the dark wolf is gone, and pinning down the older man by his wrists. When Manu smiles, laughs sarcastically, they can see his mouth is full of blood, he’s losing strength. He can’t change back.

“P-Pathetic...” - he spurts out, which takes him an obvious effort, considering he's almost choking on his own blood 

Then, he goes silent as he loses consciousness. 

Vic and Maso are about to celebrate the fact that the horrible man is finally gone, or, at least, out of their worries for a while. They try to turn to Damiano to tell him they did it, they made it!

But what they really see is Damiano’s figure, still as death itself, lying on the floor, bleeding profusely from the hole on his side, the skin around it beginning to turn a sickly tone of green and black.

Poppo goes to hold him in his arms, rip his t-shirt off, places his head on his legs. Fuck, fuck , it can’t happen again, after all these years this can’t be how they reunite. Seeing the blood that paints his fingers red, Poppo realizes: the fucking arrow was poisoned.

Ethan is still in the corner, unable to move. When the moon outside is high enough to illuminate Damiano, when he realizes what is happening a short distance from him, Ethan struggles, yells, howls desperately , moving with such brute force he rips the stitches that are holding his open wounds together, that he breaks apart the chains that are holding him. 

He almost shoves Poppo out of the way, taking Damiano in his arms, holding him close to his heart, calling out for him, his voice so pained every one of his pack mates has tears in their eyes. 

“Dami… Dami, please, you can't leave me now, Dami, you can't leave me, please, no!” 

Poppo tries to be gentle when he separates him from the alpha. He has to take the lead, organize their thoughts somehow:

"Vic, Maso, tie Manu to those chains in the corner. Do whatever you want with him, leave him to rot, I don't care." - he says - "Damiano is still alive. It's critical, but he's alive, we have to move. Can you show me the way?"

Vic nods immediately, wipes the tears from her eyes, as Maso moves to bind the horrible man to the same heavy chains he has used for so long on others.

“Ethan, can you walk?”

Ethan gets to his feet, despite the pain, nods. Poppo takes his unconscious brother in his arms, as effortlessly as if he's lifting a feather.

“Let’s get going. I can still save him, I promise you.” 

Ethan follows behind him, ignoring every single ache in his sore body. Nothing beats what he’s feeling in his heart, no pain can even compare to seeing the broken, small, pale, fragile Damiano lying still in Poppo’s arms. 

He can’t die. Their alpha just can’t leave them. 

Their alpha can’t leave them like that.

Chapter Text

The trail home has never felt as long and hard to walk through.

Home itself feels dark, empty, as are the hearts of the three betas that have led Poppo into the house. The new alpha, who is still a stranger to Vic and Maso, moves around like he knows the place, and yet, they can't help but trust the person who has cared for their alpha with such gentleness and urgency - little do they know yet, he does remember everything still, like the back of his hand; all it took was seeing the front door, to just bring it all back to him. 

He leads them down a flight of stairs the twins had never even noticed was there, concealed under cardboard boxes and various other things that Damiano had never bothered to move. Maso looks at Ethan, seeing that the look on his face is one of someone who's about to pass out. He makes him sit on the couch, makes sure he stays sitting, promises him they’ll come right for him as soon as they have news, whatever those news might be. 

Right down there, secluded, there's a door that leads them right into a room. There's not a lot of furniture in it, just a bed, a beside table, and a couple drawers. Maso and Vic are distraught, confused, but help him lay Damiano down. The young man is moving swiftly, expertly, each movement precise and determined. At one point, seemingly out of the blue, he sticks a needle in his own arm without even flinching, blood immediately pouring out to the tube attached to it. Then, proceeds to stick another, connected to the first one, in Damiano's. The twins are watching them with eyes wide in horror, gasp softly; when he notices them, he tries his best to be reassuring. 

"It's okay. I promise I’m not doing him any harm, I’m just giving him blood." - he says - "he's lost a lot of it, it's very hard to heal like this. I'm giving him an actual chance to fight back." 

Vic and Maso nod, go back to watching quietly, but the stranger proceeds: 

"I'm so sorry I didn't even introduce myself. My name is Poppo, it's a pleasure to meet you both." - he says

Vic's jaw falls open in shock. The similarities now make sense. The way he knows how to move around. It all makes sense.

"Poppo? You mean...? But we... we thought -" 

The man nods.

"Yes. Yes, I'm his brother. I thought Damiano was dead. He thought I was dead." - he reveals - "Quite a long story. I'll be happy to share it with you later."

Maso asks, shakily: 

"Poppo... Is he… is he going to wake up?"

Poppo smiles, sadly, places a hand on the beta's shoulder. 

"It's too soon to celebrate, but I think it's looking better now. I gave him something for the pain so he might take a little longer coming back to us. You're his pack, send him good energy, he needs it." 

They both nod, as Poppo begins to bandage Damiano's broken and bruised torso with gentleness. He thinks back to when they were little kids, and Damiano would come crying to him because he was hurt. He thinks back to when he'd taught his baby brother to make his first bandages, to how he just knew he was a natural caretaker from such a young age.

The alpha still looks deathly pale, still, eyes closed and breaths soft. Poppo sighs.

"Ah, baby brother, come back to us. Don't you see how much they need you?"  

Vic and Maso move upstairs to find a completely broken Ethan sitting on the living room floor, chest heaving with sorrowful, uncontrolled sobbing that burns him down to ashes. Dry blood still cakes half of his face. Vic lowers herself next to him, brings him slowly into a hug, tries to soothe him somehow. 

"Ethan, we missed you so much." - she says, sincerely - "Poppo says Dami's situation is looking better, darling. He might come back to us soon" 

Ethan lifts his tear stained face to look at his fellow beta. 

"What if he doesn't, Vic?" 

Vic's face falls to a deeply anguished expression. She has no real answer for that. What will they do if their alpha just leaves them? 

She can't bring herself to even picture that, so she just holds him tighter, tries to make the best reassurance she can.

"Whatever happens, my dear Ethan, you're home. This is your home too"

When Damiano wakes up, his vision is blurry, his brain feels fuzzy. He struggles to remember what happened, and there’s a dull ache all over his body. While he is taking the time to focus his eyes again, blinking repeatedly, he notices a soft noise that's coming from somewhere beside him. It sounds like… crying . And it's so broken, so pained.

He turns his head slightly to the side, making a mental note that he is definitely on a bed he isn't familiar with. Then, he sees Ethan sitting on a chair beside him, black hair hiding most of his face, sobbing softly. Damiano remembers. He can see Manu on the floor, and Ethan on the corner of the room, tied up, crying, terrified. He feels the pain on his side, he is falling to the floor, he can’t move and then… nothing.

He tries to turn only to realize it fucking hurts, and his movements are frustratingly slow and uncoordinated still. He takes a look around, doesn't really recognize his surroundings... or does he? Why's he here? It's been years...

He takes Ethan's hand, who looks up, startled, eyes puffy and red, tears gliding down his face mercilessly, dry blood a bit all over his skin. 

Ethan's here by his side. Ethan's alive. Does it mean it's over? 

"Ethan…" - he calls out, voice groggy and a little slurred still 

"Oh my God. Damiano... Damiano, don't move. Easy, easy, don't move.” - he says - "I'm so sorry, oh, my love, how are you feeling?" 

Damiano tries to shake his head convincingly. 

"'M sore... and slow...I'll live..." - he reassures, making an effort so his speech isn't an unintelligible mess 

Looking down, he notices the soft bandages wrapped around his torso, perfectly wrapped and tight as they should, supporting his aching ribs. Never stopping the soft caresses to Ethan's disheveled hair, he lets out a weak chuckle: 

"Who did these? Was it Vic? They're neat" - he asks 

Just when Ethan is about to explain everything to him, there's a sound of someone clearing their throat, coming from the doorway. Damiano's head turns in the direction of the sound, and by the look on his face, he looks like he's about to pass out again, even though he's suddenly very much awake. 

Then, in a slight panic, he turns to Ethan, speaking too fast.

"Oh no. I'm dead, aren't I? And... are you dead too? Were we too late?"

Ethan is caressing his cheeks, trying to soothe him, letting out a soft laugh between the tears. 

"No, Dami. You're alive, and well. All of us are."

The other man has come closer to the bed, Ethan gives him his place beside Damiano, whose mouth is still hanging open, breath caught in his throat. 

"No, it can't be." - he says, in disbelief, his voice no more than a whisper - "Poppo?"

Poppo nods, teary eyed, bottom lip already quivering. 

"My brother"  

It’s as if a dam breaks, as if a faucet opens irreversibly. Damiano is now crying like Ethan has never seen him cry before, crying like the child he once was, abandoning himself completely to loud sobs and to the heartbreak and fear and relief, clinging on to his big brother as if he'll just vanish into thin air the second he looks away. The sobs make his entire chest hurt, but he doesn't care.  

Reaching his arms up to wrap them around Poppo’s neck is fucking painful, but he still does it, holding on as if the older alpha is all that’s keeping him from drowning. Even if Poppo is crying just as hard, he manages to hush him gently, calm him down somehow, tries to make sure he won’t hurt himself any further; rocks him gently, back and forth, just like he'd done so many years before when Damiano would be frightened, or hurt. 

There's a certain feeling of relief in knowing that Damiano is finally being cared for. Not caring for someone else. This time, it's his turn to be held and consoled and soothed with gentle words and gestures. 

"It's okay, darling. It's okay. Shhh, shh, don't cry, breathe. I'm here. I won't leave. I'm never leaving again."

They hold on to each other desperately, just wishing all those years apart would magically disappear. Ethan, with tears still running down his face, leaves the room, shutting the door softly behind him, to give the brothers some privacy to make up for lost time. 

When Damiano finally calms down, or at least just enough to speak coherently, he tries to ask between his frantic sobs: 

"But... but how? Poppo, how?! I-.... " 

Poppo speaks: 

"Shh, I promise I will explain everything, but please, calm down a little, okay?"

Damiano nods, lays back on the pillows, half-sitting, takes a deep, deep breath, his brother never letting go of his hand. 

"He lied to us. I thought you were dead until a few weeks ago. I mourned you, Dami." 

Damiano tries to steady himself in order not to start crying again. Seeing his frazzled state, Poppo says: 

"Hey, look, we don't have to talk about it right now. You need to rest." - he commands, gently - "It was a tough one, champ. You got poisoned, lost a lot of blood, broke two ribs..."

He nods, taking all of that information in. He asks, hopefully: 

"Just tell me one thing, is it over?"

Poppo nods, Damiano holds his hand tighter, allows himself to breathe in relief. 

"Just... just... never leave me again” - he asks, suddenly afraid that his brother will just vanish into thin air.

Poppo smiles, allows his baby brother to cuddle close, keeps him warm, kisses his forehead, and holds on as if he's the most fragile creature in the world. 

"Rest easy. I'll be here. You should get some sleep"   

"I'm done sleeping" - he says, motioning to sit up and get out of bed, only to be stopped a moment later by gentle, but firm, hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down 

"Nuh-uh. Don't even think about it, Damiano. I just carried you home almost dead in my arms, I'd have to be insane or extremely dumb to let you get out of bed anytime soon." 

"I need to see Vic and Maso, Poppo!" 

The older brother reassures him: 

"Ethan went upstairs a while ago. They're coming, don't you worry." - he says - "you've got a beautiful family."

Damiano sighs, nods, gives him a tired smile. Fuck, how much he'd missed him. 

There's a knock on the door. Poppo smiles, takes a step back, and allows the blond twins to storm into the room. Vic is the first to almost dive into the bed to cling to Damiano's neck, who winces a little bit in pain at her intensity, shifts a little. She looks at him, frantic, checks him over. Damiano smiles, shakes his head, takes a good look at her face, stained with tears, looking exhausted.

He holds on to her, he notices she is still crying softly, small, soft sobs shaking her body. With one hand on her back, rubbing gentle patterns in an up and down motion, he allows himself to chuckle lightly. 

"It's okay. It's okay, darling, it's okay. I'm here. It's over, we did it." 

"Fucking hell, Damiano, I thought... I can't do it without you. Never do this again please, I was so fucking scared " 

Then, Damiano notices how Maso still looks at them, tears running down his face, a look so lost , so terrified, it breaks his heart. He gestures for his other side, the one Vic isn't clinging to, allows the beta to lower himself to hug him, in his usual slow, careful manner. 

"Damiano, I…" - he begins, not sure what to say 

Damiano caresses his hair, kisses his forehead.

"Oh Maso, my boy. I'm right here. I'm so sorry. I've got you now." 

It’s at the end of this sentence that Damiano looks up, seeing that Ethan is still standing a short distance from him; the beta looks absolutely exhausted, and like he hasn’t yet stopped crying, even though the remains of blood have been washed away from his face.

The twins understand; step away, encourage Ethan to come closer, to finally enjoy his moment, after all the turmoil and the initial shock. Damiano smiles tiredly, gestures for him to get down next to him. Ethan is quick to do it, allowing Damiano to get close, nuzzle against his neck like he'd done every time they had cuddled before; Ethan is home, that much he is sure of.

Without the pair noticing, Poppo is gently ushering the twins out of the bedroom, then following them, maybe to finally be able to tell the story that has probably been confusing them.

Damiano and Ethan are in their own world now; they press their foreheads together, just wanting to become one, to never have to be separated again. Damiano is smiling through the fresh tears that are pooling at his eyes. Ethan’s smile comes, too, with silent tears that are gliding down his cheeks. He whispers:

“Welcome back, my love”

Damiano chuckles, presses the softest kiss to his lover’s lips. Then, his weary head goes to rest on Ethan’s chest, the beta's presence solid and reassuring beside him.

The black-haired beta says to him:

“Poppo says you should rest as much as you can. So please, do as he says. No straining yourself.” 

Damiano opens his mouth to protest, the alpha having a hard time staying put in any situation. He can hear how a low little giggle echoes on Ethan’s chest.

“Don't be so stubborn. The less you rest, the longer it will take for you to get out of here, you don’t need me to explain that to you.”

Damiano sighs, but doesn't move an inch from his spot where he’s warm against his beta, covers pulled over him, Ethan’s gentle hands carding through his hair. In fact, he can't deny that, besides the pains that he can still feel a bit all over his bruised body, he feels drained. 

It doesn’t take long until he’s asleep, lulled away by Ethan's quiet heartbeat.

Chapter Text

Damiano takes both of his brother’s hands in his. How can he say no? What kind of heartless monster would he have to be to deny what his brother is asking of him?

“Oh Poppo, of course, bring her home" - he says, then noticing the flash of doubt on his face - “I mean it, bring her to us. Where else would you take her? The poor thing."

Poppo sighs, smiles at him.

“I’m going to look for her. I hope she stuck to the plan."

Poppo leaves as soon as he is sure Damiano is well cared for and looked after.

He had promised her he would get her out of there, he’d end the horrors she had endured, even at such a young age. He had planned for her to come along with him on that fateful night, up until it had all gone wrong and he had found himself, quite literally, with his baby brother’s life in his hands. They did, however, have a plan B, a hiding spot not too far from the house, but not too obvious either. She was to run and wait there for him in case they couldn't meet. He hopes she didn't forget about it.

He’s now on his way, though, making it carefully through the tricky terrain, keeping his eyes and ears wide open for anything that might signal the girl’s presence. For a while, he finds nothing at all, nothing but the usual quiet of the place he’s grown used to.

It’s cold, very cold, and the further he ventures without finding anything, the more worried he grows. He worries that she might have never left the house, or that she’s gotten lost, disoriented, but a part of him doesn’t believe it. She’s a smart, smart girl. Something moves in the periphery of his field of vision. He turns his head abruptly, to see her. She’s sitting on the damp ground, holding her knees to her chest, apparently trying to warm herself. 

She notices him; he crouches down, sets his backpack down, opens his arms to her.

“Oh, sweetheart."  

The girl hugs him silently, wraps her arms around his neck, lays her head on his shoulder. 

“Let's go home, now.”

She speaks, her voice ever so soft and shy:

“Will he be there, too?”

Poppo knows what she means; his heart breaks a little at the girl’s fear, at the shame he knows she carries. She’s so young, and she’s already seen and done too much .

“Baby, none of it was your fault. You didn't have a choice.”

She nods, timidly.

“They're good, gentle people. You're welcome there"

The little girl is holding onto him, still, exhausted, but willing to put her full trust on the alpha that has been nothing but kind to her. 

He kept his promise. She dares to hope.

Chapter Text

As he walks through the trail he has come to know well, Poppo feels the girl's hand grip his own so much tighter. He understands.

After all, she knows that she was the reason Manu was able to take Ethan back into his sick, twisted plans. 

“Poppo… I’m scared.” - she says, voice low, barely loud enough to be heard. 

The alpha’s face falls to a sad, sympathetic expression as he looks down to her. He understands, he truly does. He just wishes there was something he could do to lift such a heavy burden from such small shoulders.

“Don't be scared, sweetheart. This is home, you're safe.” - he says 

The first thing she notices when she comes in is how warm everything feels. The fireplace is on, the orange tones of the flames slowly consuming the firewood inside. She notices the woman that has just entered the room; she smiles at them, then comes closer, crouches down in front of her.

“Hi.” - she greets - “what’s your name?”

“Alice.” - the girl replies, voice so low she can barely hear her 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Victoria. Welcome.”

Alice dares to show her a shy smile, moved by the unexpected kindness.

Then, a second person comes into the room to join them. He, too, gets down in front of her, greets her, smiles at her.

“I’m Maso, Vic’s twin. Welcome home.”

Then, slowly, with care, he brings her closer into a hug. At first, Alice is taken by surprise, but the second after, she allows herself to hug him back.

Was this what Poppo was talking about? The warmth, the kindness… is this what home is supposed to feel like?

Damiano is still lying in bed, a pile of pillows supporting his back so he can sit up more or less comfortably without his ribs aching, at least for a while. He is done with lying down, he is done with that room and that bed, he just wants to get up and get out, go outside, change, run, enjoy freedom, enjoy the fact that, after all, he is alive.

However, he knows that Poppo (and, in reality, Ethan, or Maso, or Vic as well), won’t even let him think of it. Indeed, Damiano is not dumb, and he's forced to agree that they're right to be worried: he knows that his body needs some more time, even if his healing is slowly but surely working. So he waits, not so patiently.

Luckily, Ethan hasn’t left his bedside for one second. He’s always there, barely leaves. He talks to him, keeps him entertained, holds him, consoles him if things get harder or if he gets too frustrated with himself. It feels weird that, for once, it’s the alpha who is on the receiving end of all this care and worry; weird , but not unpleasant at all, and his love for this black-haired young man just grows, and grows everyday, beyond anything he could’ve ever pictured in his mind. Damiano wouldn't have dared imagine he could ever fall in love like this again, but turns out, he can . Funnily enough, many months before, it would've been him telling Ethan to be patient, to go easy on himself, to stay in bed and let himself recover, and now it's Ethan repeating the same to him. 

Ethan, on his side, is just happy that the alpha is there with him. He, too, has fallen beyond any of his wildest dreams; he could’ve never imagined his own wounded, mistrustful, scared heart could ever allow him to feel like this for anyone, to trust so blindly. In a way, despite the awful circumstances, he’s glad to be allowed to take care of him, to give him back at least a little of everything that he has done for him.

Damiano sighs, loudly, a bit dramatically. Ethan chuckles lightly, moves closer to hold him in his arms.

“What is it?” - he asks, not hiding the smile, knowing that Damiano's impulsive, impatient inner child is about to make an appearance. 

“I’m dying here. Soon I won’t be able to get out of bed anymore, because my ass will be stuck to the sheets. Then you’ll have to carry me and the bed around."

Ethan laughs, shaking his head.

“You're not dramatic at all, are you?” 

Damiano rolls his eyes at him, playfully.

"You still love me."

Ethan lets out another chuckle at the cheesy exchange, presses a kiss to Damiano’s forehead.

"True. That I do”

Damiano melts a little bit, leans onto Ethan’s touch that is caressing his face.

There's a kind of sadness, or maybe some kind of melancholic feeling that Ethan doesn't really like to see in there.

“I’m serious now, are you okay? How are you feeling?” - he asks, sincerely - "Poppo says your recovery has been incredibly fast, considering what you went through."

The alpha shuts his eyes softly for a moment, lets out a breath. 

“Not fast enough, apparently. I'm... sore. A little overwhelmed with everything, still, like… my brother’s alive… and my whole family is with me and it’s so amazing, but it all still hurts a bit, and... I’m just scared it’ll all go away... that you'll all go away” - he confesses, his face dropping in sadness.

Ethan holds his hand.

“It won’t go away. It’s all real, it won’t go away this time, we won't leave. I won't ever leave.” - he reassures - “I love you so much.”

Damiano smiles. 

"I love you. Thank you.” 

He gestures for the beta to come closer; he presses a kiss to his lips, and, again, they move in sync. It’s as if they’re just two halves of the same being, sharing one brain and one body and one soul. Damiano’s fingers tangle in his hair, pulling slightly, pushing the kiss just a little bit deeper.

Ethan pulls them apart for a moment, just slightly, so their foreheads are still touching, raises an eyebrow at him, smiles, light hearted.

“Slow.”

Damiano sighs again, over dramatically.

“Damn it” - he whines - "I miss you!" 

The beta kisses his forehead, shakes his head again at the silliness of the situation.

“Drama queen" - he says, huffing out a laugh - "I'm here, aren't I? I don't plan to go anywhere, anytime soon." 

Damiano laughs, nods. Indeed, he is. And he couldn't ask for anything else.

They snuggle a little closer in silence for a while longer, when a knock on the door gets their attention.  It opens to reveal a smiling Poppo, bringing a small someone by the hand. Ethan recognizes her immediately, it’s the same little girl he’d seen in the woods, right before… he doesn’t even want to think about the moment, so he shakes the memory off. 

The little one is holding on to Poppo’s hand for dear life, looking around, barely daring to raise her eyes to look at Ethan’s face. Now that he sees her in the daylight, he can see she looks really young, even younger that he remembered, no older than nine or ten. He knows Manu would start training these young betas to be obedient, to fulfill their future horrible roles in his sick business. In fact, Ethan couldn’t have been much older himself when he’d started, even if he can’t remember much.  

The poor girl looks scared, but mostly confused by everything she is seeing. 

Poppo lets her in first; Ethan leaves Damiano’s side to come sit on the floor in front of her, while the alpha, still sitting up slightly in bed, waves at her, says a gentle “Hi". There’s a moment of silence, while the beta is trying to be as careful as possible, so not to scare her off. 

“Hi.” - he says, finally, then waiting for her reaction 

Alice looks up, and Ethan sees her eyes are a bright green, and full of tears, and it breaks him to know these eyes have seen so much more than they should’ve at such a young age. Ethan reaches up slowly to hold her hand.

“Hey. It's okay. You're okay. You're home, now." - he says, softly 

Unexpectedly, Alice throws her small body against Ethan’s, wraps her arms around his neck. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” - she’s saying, between the tears - “I didn’t want to do it, I didn’t want him to hurt you, I-”

Ethan holds her tighter, as he can feel the tears come up in his own eyes at the little girl’s sadness, heartbreak, at the guilt he knows she’s feeling for something that wasn’t, at all, her fault.

“It’s okay, darling. Shh, it's okay. I know you didn’t want to do it, it’s not your fault. It’s Manu’s fault, not yours, not mine, it’s on him and him alone, you hear me?” - he tries to reassure her - “what’s your name?"

She dares to smile shyly at him, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Alice.”

Ethan gives her a soft laugh.

“I never got to tell you my name, but I’m Ethan. And over there, that's Damiano” - he introduces - “it’s so nice to meet you. Welcome home, sweetheart.”

Alice moves, small, unsure steps, to stand by Damiano’s bedside. At first, she eyes him with curiosity, and not without a certain fear, as she notices the bandages under his shirt, and the wounds and scratches a bit all over him that are just beginning to heal. 

Voice low, timid, she asks:

“Are you sick? Was it Manu, too?” 

The alpha smiles, a certain sadness tinging his features. Somehow, there’s a common pain that unites him and this young beta in a way, and it shouldn’t. It feels so wrong. Then, he speaks:

“Yes, but they took care of me. I’ll be okay.”

When Damiano looks around, he sees his family standing beside him, giving him a love that he, for a long long time, didn’t even imagine he deserved.

Looking at Alice, and the way Poppo moves and talks around her, the instinctive protection he shows her, the alpha knows his brother has, too, begun to find his own atonement in a certain way.

It all feels peaceful, and it makes it just a little bit easier for him to be patient with his own recovery.

Chapter Text

The first time it happens, shortly after that nightmarish evening at Manu's, Damiano stubbornly tries to get on his feet and finally move back to his own room. Sure, there’s a whole flight of stairs and a hallway, but he figures it can’t be that hard.

He sits in bed, his entire body protesting in pain, yelling at him to just stop and lay back down, don't be dumb, but Damiano is determined and chooses to ignore it.

Next, he tries to lift his arms to gain him the memento to get up, and realizes his arms also hurt like a bitch, his ribs feel like they're on fire, but still, he goes on.

Finally, in one swift, clumsy movement, he gets on his feet, and his entire right side screams in agony as his upright body tries to support his whole weight for the first time in days. When Ethan opens the door and enters the room, he sees a very frustrated Damiano sitting on the floor, melting down in tears at his own inability. 

Ethan immediately dives to be next to him, cupping his cheeks, trying to wipe his tears away. 

“What happened, my love? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” - he asks, a bit too fast 

Damiano shakes his head, takes a deep breath, then tells him:

“I was just trying to walk. I hate this so much” - he says, and his voice breaks, he hides his face on his beta’s shoulder, seeking comfort.

Ethan sighs, but holds him gladly.

“Oh darling… I know, I'm sorry ” - he says - “be patient. Everything will go back to normal. I’m here with you, just be patient”

Damiano just nods, kisses Ethan, thankful for his words.

“Come on, let’s get you back in bed now, there we go” - the beta says, as he allows him to help him lay back down with a sigh.

This time, though, after his brother has told him he can finally try and move upstairs, he holds tight to Ethan and Poppo’s hands, who are standing on each of his sides, and stands up on shaky legs.

The pain is nowhere near what it was before, even if a slight ache is still present at his side when he tries to support his entire weight. He draws in a sharp breath, looks at Ethan, looks at Poppo, sees their worried, but encouraging faces. 

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” - the beta asks 

Damiano manages a nod.

“Just a little. It’s bearable.” - he tells them 

Poppo encourages him:

“Go ahead then. We’re right here.”

He takes one small step forward; stops to try and understand how he’s feeling. The pain is exactly the same as it was a minute before, just a slightly annoying ache, so he goes and takes another step, and another, and another, while both Poppo and Ethan never leave his sides, helping him support part of his body. 

When they get to the first step of the stairs, Damiano stops, looks up, sighs deeply; he doesn’t think he’s able to climb them as easily, it requires a kind of movement that is still a bit too painful. Poppo doesn’t even need another word; with one arm behind his knees, and the other under his arms, he picks his little brother up, carries him effortlessly.

“My damsel in distress.” - he jokes, light hearted, earning a giggle from Ethan.

“It suits you, Dami” - the beta adds 

Damiano rolls his eyes, but smiles.

“Oh, fuck you!” 

Poppo sets him down on the ground once they reach the ground floor, laughing.

“Is this the way you talk to your brother and your boyfriend?” 

Damiano quite childishly sticks his tongue out at him, blushes slightly at Poppo’s choice of words, and can’t help the shy look he then exchanges with Ethan. He knows the words have had the same effect on him.

Poppo rolls his eyes at them, fakes vomiting, raising his fingers to his mouth. It’s amazing to Damiano how he was just able to reprise his big brother role as if no time had passed at all. 

They keep taking slow, small steps until they finally reach Damiano’s bedroom, where they help him settle back into bed; this time, his own bed . Damiano sighs, contented.

“Thank you, boys” - he says, genuinely. 

Not that he was uncomfortable in the room downstairs, not at all; even if he hadn’t been down there in years, Damiano had been amazingly cared for. But this… this is more familiar, this is known to him, this is his own space.

“You’re welcome, baby brother. I’ll leave you for a bit now to go check on Alice.” - Poppo informs - “yell for me if you need anything.”

Damiano nods and watches as he softly shuts the door behind him. Ethan, as always, sits beside him, watches him with worry, tries to understand how he feels, and if he needs anything.

“Are you okay? Is anything hurting?” - he asks.

The alpha smiles, reassures him that he is okay, even if the walk has just made him a bit tired. Then reaches up to caress Ethan’s hair, tucking a strand behind his ear.

“My boyfriend.” - he says, repeating Poppo’s words, and they seem to linger and echo between them for a couple of seconds - “my mate.”

Ethan’s cheeks gain a furiously pink colour, his mouth opens slightly. It’s a big word, the one that Damiano just used. Even if Poppo had said it before, it feels very different to hear him say it, and if it’s true that he really does feel that way about him… 

“What are you thinking of, darling?” - he asks, pulling Ethan out of his own thoughts - “did I say something wrong?”

The beta is quick to shake his head, reassuring him that he hasn’t said anything wrong. On the contrary, it feels so damn right. 

“Nothing. You said my boyfriend” - he replies - “you called me your mate.”

It’s Damiano’s turn to blush a little, but still, he smiles, nods, a hundred percent convinced of what he’s saying. 

“I know I did. It’s how I feel about you” - he says - “unless… unless you don’t feel that way about me, which would be okay and-”

Ethan rolls his eyes, shuts him up with a kiss to his lips; for such a strong and determined young man, Damiano can be so oddly insecure at times. At first, he is taken by surprise by Ethan’s gesture, but then just lets himself go, kisses back, a connection between them like he hasn’t quite felt before. The beta then speaks:

“How can you doubt that I feel the same?” - he asks - “it’s all I want, believe me”

They cuddle a little closer, Damiano’s head resting on Ethan’s chest. They fall silent for a moment, just enjoying each other’s company. The beta, however, just needs to ask a question that’s inside his mind, but has trouble voicing it. It’s frustrating, in a way, because he just knows he should be over these doubts, these fears, but there is a part of him that will always question, that will always feel insecure, afraid, shaped by the years of trauma he has lived, and Ethan hates it. Damiano, with his eyes still closed and still cuddling against his beta, speaks:

“I can hear you thinking from here. The gears turning and everything."  

Ethan chuckles. 

“It’s just…”

Damiano lifts his head to look at him, encouraging him to speak.

“For me to be your actual mate wouldn’t you have to… mate me?” - he asks, shyly - “I mean, we never… I- I- just know it’s how it’s supposed to be and-”

The alpha shakes his head, kisses Ethan’s cheek.

“You’re my mate because I say so , and I’m yours because you say so . A ritual is just that, a formality” - he explains, patiently - “if you don’t ever want us to do it, we never have to. If you do want us to do it… then we’ll do it, and I’ll make sure you enjoy every bit of it. I promised I’d take care of you, Ethan, whatever that implies. And that includes respecting your choices. That doesn’t affect in any way how I feel about you.”

Ethan is moved , again; every time Damiano speaks to him like this, he’s just moved, and still doesn’t quite believe how lucky he is. All he says is a muttered, soft I love you as if it’s really meant just for Damiano to hear. 

When Damiano eventually falls asleep all cuddled up against him, so tired from all the effort from before, Ethan isn’t quite sure if the warmth he feels is coming from the man beside him or from the little flame these words have set alight inside his chest.

My mate. 

Ethan stirs awake in the middle of the night, taking a few moments to understand his surroundings.

Damiano is sleeping peacefully beside him; even if he can’t see his face, as his back is turned to him, he can see how his chest rises and falls slowly, softly. It’s a good thing, that he is resting undisturbed. For as much as the beta tries to fall back asleep, though, something just tells him to stay awake, and one thing that Ethan has learned ever since he let his wolf out again, is that he simply can’t make an instinct shut up. Something’s wrong. 

It’s when he hears footsteps in the hallway, just outside their door, that his brain goes definitely to alert mode. Damiano must’ve been pulled out of sleep by the same feeling Ethan is having, because he's sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard for support.

“I’m going to check it out, stay here.” - Ethan says 

“It’s not like I could go very far, is it?”  - a sleepy Damiano sasses back

At first, when Ethan steps outside, he doesn’t really notice anything out of the ordinary. The hallway is dark, the doors to the bedrooms are closed, nothing to disturb their otherwise peaceful night. 

But then, Ethan sees her, and his guard is immediately let down. She's standing in the middle of the hallway, looking confused, disoriented, crying softly, looking from one side to the other, just absolutely lost. Her dark blond locks are covering half of her tear-blotched face. Ethan’s heart breaks, and he moves quick to kneel down in front of the girl. Carefully, so as not to startle her, he reaches up to brush her hair away from her face. The girl cries a little harder.

“Ethan, I can’t find Poppo, what if he was taken back, I dreamed that, what if he-” - she can barely bring herself to finish the thought.

Ethan brings the girl close to him in a tight hug. 

“Shh, Alice, shh, honey, listen to me.” - he asks - “Poppo’s okay, he probably fell asleep on the couch. Come and see, it’s okay, we’re all good.”

The beta takes her in his arms, brings the girl with him to peek at the living room door. From there, they can, indeed, see Poppo’s sleeping figure on the couch, peaceful, safe and sound. Timidly, she asks:

“Is everyone okay?”

Ethan smiles at her, nods.

“Yes, darling. We are all okay, and safe, and so are you. No one will ever harm any of us again.” - he reassures - “let’s take you back to bed so you can rest, alright?”  

Alice goes tense in Ethan’s arms, shakes her head, tears begin to pool at her eyes again.

“I… I don’t want to. Please let me stay awake, if I go to sleep I can’t… I can’t see, I-” 

Ethan sighs when he understands; Alice doesn’t want to sleep because she’s scared. She’s scared of not being able to protect herself, and most importantly, to protect them.

“I have an idea.” - he says, giving her a smile 

He moves a little closer, whispers in her ear.

“Do you want to stay with Dami and I? That way you can sleep and we can keep you safe. Does it sound good?”

Alice looks up at him, shyly, nods almost imperceptibly. Ethan kisses her forehead, gently, carries her back to the bedroom, where Damiano’s still sitting up, anxiously, trying to understand what is going on. He lets out a relieved breath when he sees Ethan calmly carrying Alice in his arms.

“Mind the company?” - Ethan asks, smiling at him

Damiano smiles back, shakes his head, and holds his arms out for the little girl. Ethan places her onto the bed, and she allows Damiano to hug her ever so gently. She has an apologetic look on her face, almost embarrassed of being there. The alpha reassures her:

"It's okay. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone.” - he says, kissing her forehead - “we’ll keep you safe, little one. You'll never be alone again.”

Alice nods. Ethan ushers her gently to scoot over, make room for him, then gets into bed, lets her cuddle a little closer to him, careful not to hurt Damiano.

“Close your eyes now, sleep, okay?” - he says - “we’ll be right here with you.”

Once they’re all warm and comfy, Alice is almost immediately back asleep. Ethan and Damiano exchange a look, a smile, at the softness of it all.

It’s much easier to rest when you know you’re safe, when you can feel it deep down in your bones.

Chapter Text

Victoria and Maso are in the kitchen, working quietly side by side to cook lunch for the pack.

With Damiano recovering, and Ethan by his side, watching over him, the twins are responsible for feeding their growing household; Maso is working quite efficiently with the sharp knife in his hand, careful not to slip and hurt his own fingers in the process, while Vic is fiddling with the pots and pans on the stovetop.

They feel a sense of peace all around them that is more than welcome; Damiano’s okay and healing quite fast and well, Ethan looks serene and happy all around them, and Poppo is an incredibly funny and light spirited addition to their house, always trying to make people laugh but, at the same time, showing that incredible instinct of protection that their own alpha has always shown them from the very beginning. They can definitely see where Damiano got his ways from.

Vic is startled away from her own musings when she feels a little tug on her arm and looks down to find little Alice, staring at her, shyly. Poor Alice, always so soft, so timid, still so scared around them. Whenever the blonde beta speaks to her, whenever their gazes cross and she’s so quick to lower it down, she almost reminds her of her own brother, and how he used to be in her first few weeks of being part of a new pack, of Damiano’s pack. 

At first, it had all been so hard on both of the twins. Maso, with his soft nature, had no problem in being so evidently scared, wary, vulnerable. As for Vic, however, all of her instincts would always scream at her to protect her brother, even before she’d protect herself. She would sometimes be defensive, sometimes even aggressive, just to try and not show Damiano weakness, just to try and hide her own terror from him. Luckily, though, the kind alpha could see right through her, with patience, and care, and a love she’d never even known existed. It took him so much longer to break her walls; sometimes, he’d just sit next to her on the floor, wordlessly consoling her when she cried, never touching her, not coming closer until he was sure she was okay with it; other times, she’d just lean onto him, stay like that, barely touching but still, there . One day, eventually, she’d let herself fall, crying in his arms for hours, allowing him to console her, to hush her with gentle, warm words that soothed her wounded heart. Victoria remembers, being sat on the floor, after making sure Maso was sleeping; she was hugging herself in a way, hoping her own arms around her could keep her heart together, stop it from breaking under the crushing weight of the fear, and the trauma. Damiano had sat next to her in silence, as always, offering nothing more than his reassuring presence to his scared beta. Then, she reached her arms out for him, throwing herself in the dark, just hoping he’d catch her. He did, and from that moment on, he never let her go again. He brought her close to his chest, allowed her to cry onto his shirt until it was damp with her tears, hushed her softly until her cries quieted and her chest didn’t feel as heavy anymore.

Vic can see the same vulnerable, scared aura around little Alice, and she hopes she can somehow help her through it, make her realize she’s safe, she’s with people that wish her well, that want her to feel loved. So, she picks the little girl up in her arms, sits her on the countertop beside them, lets her watch what they’re doing, curiously.

“How are you, little one?” - she greets, never losing the smile she’s giving her.

Alice lets out a soft sigh, replies timidly.

“I'm okay.” - she says - “and you?”

Vic can help the chuckle that leaves her at the cuteness of the situation. 

“I'm okay, too." - she replies, caressing her hair.

Maso’s voice sounds right beside them. Little Alice hasn’t talked much to Maso yet, but, somehow, she feels naturally safe around him, it’s oddly easy for her to feel tranquil around him, even if she still struggles to not be scared around everyone else. 

“Do you want to help us with lunch?”

She nods. Carefully, Vic allows her to help, always watching closely to make sure she doesn’t get hurt in the process. Alice is passing her things, putting them onto the pans, helping her stir one pot or two, occasionally tasting things, she’s so lost in the fun she’s having, she feels so free and peaceful between the twins, she even dares laughing at one point. It’s soft, very hushed, but it’s a laugh, and they can hear it, smile at her, happy that she’s feeling so comfortable with them, happy that she's not thinking of everything that scares her for a while.

Victoria has seen it with her own eyes a few times now, this is what family does. It makes you feel safe, protected, loved, it makes the tears go away, it loosens the knots that grief has tied inside your chest. Alice might feel a little lost for the time being, but she’s young, she's strong, and she’s been through so much worse, she knows she’ll get there.

Damiano’s feet already know this way too well, deep into the woods, he’s sure he could walk these trails with his eyes closed if he had to.

This time, though, he’s going slowly, so much slower than usual, so fucking frustratingly slow. He's barely healed, and he's aware of it. The ache in his bones, in his muscles, has faded almost completely, but not quite completely yet, so he knows he has to go gentle on himself. Poppo makes a point to remind him of that on a daily basis, to make sure he doesn’t actually forget that he’s not at his one hundred percent yet, that he needs to go easy, and after all, Damiano is very thankful for it.

Now, he takes Poppo by the hand, leads the way; even if the older alpha has no idea where he’s being taken, he follows his baby brother, tries to make sure he isn’t pushing himself too hard, until they come to a halt at a clearing, and the older one feels like this is familiar somehow. Then, it all comes back to him. He remembers, and it’s suddenly like he can see two little cubs running around, pawing at each other playfully, two little boys playing as if they don’t have a care in the world, rolling freely in the forest floor, laughing loudly. 

There are genuine tears pooling at his eyes when he realizes where Damiano has taken him; Damiano, on his side, seems to be deeply emotional too, when he gestures towards the flowers at their feet. 

“I really, really needed you to be here for this, Poppo”

At first, Poppo doesn’t understand what it is that he’s seeing. Then, he sees Damiano pick up the pile of white flowers and throw them, let the wind scatter the petals away.

Daisies.  

He remembers teaching a young Damiano all about the wild daisies in their garden, how helpful they could be to the sick and injured if used in the right way. Humble, but beautiful. Damiano knows these are his favorite flowers. The younger one speaks, voice low; he knows if he tries to speak much louder, it’ll break, and he won’t be able to finish his sentence.

“I cried here so many times. I didn’t know how I was going to do it without you. I don't think I ever figured out what to do without you, it was just...”

Poppo takes a deep breath, tries not to break down in tears himself, brings his baby brother into a tight but careful hug, kisses his forehead. He knows what Damiano means. He knows exactly what he means, that same feeling of loss, of... of not knowing where to go and how to exist, one without the other.

“Oh, baby brother. It was so damn hard for me, too.” - he says - “we don’t have to mourn anymore, all of the family is here, we’re alive and well, and together. We can make up for the time we lost, now.”

Damiano smiles, nods, and the brothers’ gazes settle on the little pile of blue flowers beside them. Sad realization hits Poppo like a pang in his chest… not all of the family is together, is it? He can feel Damiano’s heart go heavy with grief.

“I loved her so much. Maybe if I hadn’t…”

The older brother doesn’t allow him to finish the sentence, instead, tightens his hold on him. 

“Don’t. Don't you dare taking the blame for that. I know how much you loved her.”

Damiano hides his face in his brother’s shoulder. Poppo goes on:

“You have Ethan now. I know they don’t replace each other, but Ethan really loves you.  What you two have is special, very special”

Damiano smiles and nods. Indeed, fate has its own funny ways to give you back what you lost, maybe in a different time and in different circumstances, but it makes the void inside him hurt so much less, it fills it with love, and adoration. 

“I love him so much, Poppo. I love him so, so much, I didn’t think I’d be able to love anyone like this again, not after her. I’m so scared of fucking things up, of scaring him off, but… I’ve been so close to losing him, I can't let him go again.”

Poppo offers him a chuckle, in sympathy, understanding his fear. However, he tells him:

“You won’t. You two love each other, you are mates , you are connected in some special way and it’s obvious. You know how to act around each other, you just know. Don’t let anything take it away from you.” - he says - “just make sure you show him how much you love him, whenever you can. Ethan’s been through hell and back, he might need his time and his space, but he needs you to love him and to be sure that you love him, beyond any doubts.”

Damiano thinks for a second; his brother is more than right. And from that moment on, he’s absolutely decided to never let Ethan forget that he is loved, that he is his mate no matter what, that he is safe, and taken care of, always. 

With a sigh, and his head full of thoughts, he lets himself fall silently into Poppo’s hug again.

Chapter Text

“It’d be nice to… stretch the paws again, but it’s been a while since I’ve last changed, Dami… I’m not sure if I…”

Damiano holds him to his chest for a moment, kisses his forehead. Ethan still carries these insecurities with him.

To the beta, it feels so good to see Damiano out and about again, out of bed and slowly returning to normal. It reminds him of how close he was to losing him, but, on the other hand, it also reminds him that he’s here, that he’s stayed with him, and he feels grateful for it. 

“You can do it, of course you can. He is there, maybe he’s been quiet, but he didn’t leave you. You have to learn to trust him more”

“You’re not thinking of changing too, are you?”

Damiano chuckles.

“I wish I could, darling, but I suspect Poppo would not be happy about it. I don’t think I’m able to do it yet, anyway, my ribs aren’t fully healed and it would probably just make it worse. But I know you can do it."

Ethan sighs, gives Damiano a half smile, nods. 

It’s time to focus again on that part of himself that he’s been leaving behind, and he, too, knows it, for as much as that place, somewhere inside him, still dreads it. As they stand in the doorway, ready to go out into the nice, sunny day outside, Alice passes them by, gives them a curious look. Damiano has an idea; he lowers himself with caution, so his eyes are at the same level as the little girl’s. 

“Little one, do you want to come for a walk with us outside? It’d be good for you to get some fresh air.”

Alice hesitates for a moment. If she’s outside, maybe she won’t be safe anymore, maybe they won’t be safe. The alpha can almost immediately read the doubts on the girl’s face, giving her a soft chuckle.

“You don’t need to worry. We won’t go far.”

As if finally reassured by his words, Alice agrees, takes his hand, lets the boys lead her outside. The sun on her face is warm, and the light breeze caresses her skin in a way she’d never even bothered to notice before; you don’t really notice the small details when you’re busy surviving , and these woods that have always seemed so terrifying to her, all of a sudden seem almost beautiful. After all, they are slowly becoming home to her. When they finally stop, Alice can see Damiano didn’t lie; they haven’t wandered off too far from their house, which, somehow, makes her feel a little calmer about everything.

Ethan, however, when the girl takes a good look at him, looks a little restless, almost a little… scared?

She takes his hand again, looks up at him, wordlessly, hoping that he’ll understand that she is trying to comfort him somehow. Ethan smiles, brings himself down to her height to hug her. 

“I’m okay. Don’t worry. ”

“I… I just thought you looked scared.”

Ethan chuckles.

“I’m just a little nervous. I haven’t changed in a while. I hope I can still do it.”

Alice nods quietly, but flinches almost imperceptibly when Ethan mentions changing. Damiano, however, is quick to pick up on it. Sitting cross-legged, he gestures for Alice to come sit with him, placing a gentle arm over her shoulders as they stay a short distance from the other beta.

“I know you're still a little scared." - he says - “but I wouldn’t have brought you along if I didn’t know it was perfectly safe. It’s just Ethan, and I’m here with you”

In fact, Ethan, who didn’t really believe he’d still have it in him, quickly begins to feel that same familiar tingle all over his body. He knows it’s coming, and this time, somehow, he isn’t afraid of it; it’s like his mind just merges with something else that is coursing freely through his veins, and for the first time, he really feels they are one and the same. 

Damiano is looking at him, proud . The beautiful, black wolf walks around, so sure of himself, holds his head up high like the proud creature he is, and the alpha just knows that Ethan has finally found himself, he’s accepted himself, free of judgement, free of the terror that had haunted him all those years.

To Ethan, it has never felt more liberating.

He really isn’t sure how long it goes until he changes back, after walking around on his own for a while, exploring this new, exhilarating freedom, even if never wandering too far out of Damiano and Alice’s sight. Time seems to pass differently when he is in that form, as if he doesn't have to guide himself by those boundaries anymore. Right now, however, his bones feel sore and positively exhausted, but, this time, in the best way possible. Damiano hugs him, kisses his temple; the beta knows it’s his gentle, contained way of telling him how fucking proud he is. 

They walk back together in silence, Damiano bringing little Alice by the hand, until, at one point, he feels her staying behind, slowing her walk a bit. He turns back, asks, kindly:

“Are you tired, sweetheart?"  

Alice nods. Damiano gives her a smile, crouches down.

“Hop on, c’mon.” - he says, inviting her to climb on his back.

Ethan is quick to help the little one, who gently puts her arms around Damiano’s neck, holding on, placing her chin on his shoulder. They resume their walk.

Ethan looks to the side after a while, notices Alice's head has now fallen slightly to the side, so her cheek is laying completely on Damiano’s shoulder; her eyelids are closed, her chest rises and falls softly, and both realize she has fallen asleep. Golden sunlight reflects off of the alpha’s eyes, and a stray lock of hair falls messily on his forehead, as he gives the little sleeping beta her much needed piggyback ride; it’s a blissful, adorable picture, that makes Ethan’s heart fill with joy , pure, bubbly, raw joy, and pride and… and love. Fuck, this is his mate, this is his mate, and his brain immediately escapes back to their conversation from just a while before.

The thought of the deed in itself is still enough to bring a certain feeling of dread to Ethan, a cold that just pools, uninvited, at his stomach, at his heart; at the same time, though, he thinks of his beautiful companion, his gentle ways, the unrestrained, boundless love that he’s given him time, after time, after time, and a part of him knows that all of the bad, all of the grief, all of the pain are in the past. 

He has never trusted anyone as blindly as he trusts Damiano. Does he trust him enough to just go for this? Is he brave enough to just let himself fall in this way, after all the horrors that he’s been through? 

Ethan’s chest tightens a little, as he begins to figure out that the answer might be yes.

It is Vic who greets them at the door, carefully takes a still sleeping Alice in her arms, settles her down on the couch where her and Maso are sitting, with something playing on the old television that they’re not really paying much attention to. Damiano takes this as an opportunity to take his lover’s hand, gently guiding him to his (now their) bedroom, so he can at least relax his tired body after everything that has just happened, so he won’t bottle up all of the emotions inside. Vic notices their hands intertwined, rolls her eyes at them, earning herself a raised middle finger and a chuckle from the alpha. 

Ethan feels the same cold from before returning to his bones as he sits on the bed beside Damiano. He needs to talk to him, to talk it through with him, to ask him the questions, to be fully honest with the alpha. Damiano can sense his discomfort, of course he can sense his discomfort, not only because he knows his beloved beta too well, but also because Ethan is probably broadcasting his frayed nerves to every wolf in their surroundings. 

He raises a hand to his cheek, brings his head a little closer to kiss his forehead.

“You did amazing. You did so, so good, Ethan.”

Ethan smiles, places his hand over the warm one that is still on his cheek, then looks down.

“What bothers you, beloved?” - the alpha asks - “you’ve been so shaky ever since we came back.”

The beta sighs, stays silent for a second, trying to figure out the best way to talk to him and not make an absolute fool of himself. 

“Darling… is it something I can help with?” 

If he only knew…

Ethan fills his chest with air, summoning the courage he knows he will need for this conversation. Then, before he can realize, he says it. Those much feared words leave his mouth, and a heavy weight seems to come off his chest along with them. 

“I want to be your mate, for real.”

At first, Damiano looks confused, and Ethan curses himself for not being able to just say it once and for all.

“I don't understand. Is that not what you are already?” 

“No, I mean…”

Ethan closes his eyes for a moment, makes a conscious effort so his words don’t come out as mumbles that will sound more like gibberish to the alpha.

“What I mean is, I want to do it. I want you to mate me. I want to be yours completely, I want to do it today, I want to do it now”

Damiano finally understands, because Ethan can see how a multitude of such complex emotions flash on the alpha’s face in a matter of seconds. He brings him into a hug. 

“Oh. Are you sure of that?” - he asks, carefully - “I told you, my love, we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to-”

Ethan can’t allow the doubts to just flow back, so he nods hastily, worried that if he takes too long, his resolve might crumble.

"I want to. Unless... unless you don't want it, then..."

Damiano shakes his head, gently hushes him with a kiss, an obvious "I'm absolutely sure it's what I want".

Then, he gets up from bed, brings him by the hand once more. It’s such a simple gesture, the one he always does when they go together somewhere, but it feels so welcome, to have some form of guidance when Ethan feels so lost, so overwhelmed. He realizes he’s being taken to the bathroom; Damiano locks the door behind them, moves to the shower, turns the tap on, making sure the water will begin to run warm soon enough. Then, comes closer to Ethan again, kisses his forehead sweetly, making sure the beta feels the amount of love that is just running in his veins at this exact moment. He speaks:

“If we’re going to do this, I want to do it right, is that okay?” - he asks, first, earning a curious, yet wary nod from the beta - “I can feel your anxiety, your fear.”

Ethan is ashamed of himself. How can he still have such a hard time around the person that he loves most in the whole world? He casts his eyes down, avoiding Damiano’s for a second. When the alpha encourages him to look up, and their gazes meet again, Ethan realizes Damiano’s eyes are bright red, as if set ablaze. 

“I know how scared you are and you don’t need to hide it from me, I just want you to be calm and relaxed.” - Damiano clarifies, not without a smile - “we'll do it like this: you take a nice warm shower, try to soothe your muscles, that must be aching, and try to calm those wild thoughts that are running through your mind. Take as long as you need, there's no rush. When you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you in the bedroom. If you want to go through with it, we'll go through with it, and I'll guide you through everything, I promise. If you’ve changed your mind, we’ll just go to sleep as we always do. Does it sound good?”

Ethan smiles, nods silently, hugs him. The alpha caresses his hair.

“You know you have nothing to fear, whatever your decision is, right?” - he asks - “I love you, no matter what.”

Ethan hugs a little tighter.

“I love you.”

Damiano leaves the room quietly, closes the door again, Ethan can hear the sound of his steps fade away as he goes back to the bedroom.

He steps into the shower cabin, allowing the hot water to start dissolving somehow the knots in his tired muscles. As he washes his head, feeling the calming scents of everything around him, he allows the running stream to fall from the ends of his long hair, down to his lower back, down to the white floor of the cabin, at his feet, and down the drain. He tries with all his might to make sure all his worries, all his fears are being washed away by that same water.

In a few minutes, he’ll be back with Damiano. In a few minutes, it will happen. Even if nerves still eat mercilessly at his heart, Ethan has never been more certain that this is what he wants.

Chapter Text

Ethan can’t be sure of how much time has passed when he finally steps out of the shower.

To him, it feels like no time has passed at all, like everything just went by way too quickly. He stands in front of the mirror for a second, takes a look at his naked body in the reflection; there’s not that almost corpse-like paleness to him anymore and that frailness from before is gone, that much is clear. His abdomen, his chest, however, are still littered with scars, of all shapes and sizes, scars that have long faded, other, fresher ones, that paint a ghastly picture on his skin, reminding him of past pains. Damiano has told him so many times that he has nothing to be ashamed of, that he is beautiful just like that, that he loves him just like that.

“I have a scar on my cheek, darling, do you think less of me for that? If you don’t, why should I think less of you just because you have marks from the horrible things you’ve survived?”

Even so, every time he looks at his own reflection, he has such a hard time believing that such a beautiful creature could fall for a broken one like himself. 

He wraps himself in a towel, takes a bit to dry the remaining droplets of water on his skin, then notices the hoodie and the underwear that Damiano left for him. Slowly, he puts them on, brushes his hair until all the tangles are gone, goes to stand in front of the door and takes a deep breath.

He wants to do it. His muscles don’t feel as tense and sore anymore, but the same anxiety from before is starting to creep in again, gripping tightly at his heart. However, he’s still sure he wants to do it, he wants them to be properly mates . Whatever that implies, his heart, his trust are in Damiano’s hands completely.

Damiano, while waiting for Ethan, feels an electricity just coursing all over him, prickling at the tips of his fingers, making his heart beat faster. His beloved beta wants to do it. He wants to put his trust in him, to give up control for a little while, to be his mate. His beautiful beta returns, long, damp hair falling on his shoulders.

The alpha just hopes he’ll be able to treat him just like he deserves. 

When Ethan returns to the bedroom, step after careful step, a part of him almost doesn’t expect Damiano to be there, as if the alpha could’ve ever changed his mind and left him. He is there. The room is enveloped in the dim lighting coming from a lamp beside him, shining over just half of the boy’s face. He let his hair loose, he’s got a soft looking sweater put on, and when he notices his presence, he looks up from the book he’s reading, closes it, settles it on the bedside table.

He beckons for him to come closer, pats the spot at his side on the bed, gesturing for Ethan to sit. Silently, he does it, trying to settle comfortably at Damiano’s side.

“How are you feeling?”

Ethan sighs, tries to put his feelings into coherent words.

“I… I don’t know. A little overwhelmed, I guess.”

Damiano gives him a sympathetic smile, caresses his beta’s cheek. If he, an alpha, can’t help but feeling that annoying nervousness all over him, he can’t imagine how Ethan is feeling right now, and he just wants to do something to soothe his fears and worries. 

“Have you made your decision?”

Ethan takes a deep breath and nods. 

“I want this. I want you. All of you.”

Damiano’s breath hitches a little at these words. It’s happening, after all, and it will be their big, beautiful moment, that the alpha can only hope to make as good as Ethan deserves after all the suffering he’s been through. Now is not the time to second guess himself; now is the time to be what Ethan needs. 

He brings their foreheads together in a gentle gesture; he just wishes he could put it all inside his head, that he’s safe, that he doesn’t need to be scared, that he’s beautiful and so so loved; he’s trying, however, to project the aura of safety, to project these thoughts out to him, and he’ll make sure to let him know anyway, to repeat it as much as he needs. 

“Let's talk for a bit, okay?” - Damiano asks, earning a nod from his beta - “I want to make sure you know what’s going to happen, and I want you to ask all the questions that come to your mind, I’m here to answer them.”

Ethan feels the fear and anxiety give way to something more, maybe… curiosity? The way he’s imagined this ritual to go, the way it’s happened in the past and that it’s engraved in Ethan’s mind, it’s horrible, and scary, even if he’s willing to go through all of it again for Damiano. But now, he begins to think… What if it just doesn’t have to be like that?

"Talk to me, sweetheart. I want to know what's going through your head." - Damiano says, once he notices Ethan has lost himself in thought again.

“I… I’d like to hear you first.”

Damiano smiles, takes his beta’s hands, clears his throat before speaking.

“This is an important moment, my love, but we don’t have to make it such a big deal that it will keep us from enjoying it, so take that pressure off your shoulders, okay? It’s just you and me, and you have nothing to prove.” 

Ethan nods. Damiano then asks:

“You know how it goes, right? I know it was… done to you before, but do you need me to explain it again? I don’t mind, darling, whatever you need to feel comfortable.” 

Ethan shakes his head. All the more… anatomical details of it, Ethan doesn’t need to go over them. He’s sadly gone over them too many times. He knows exactly how it’s going to go, and even so, he’s surprised at himself for not wanting to back off. Damiano's worth it. Their love is worth it. 

Damiano caresses his cheek, then goes on.

“I just want you to remember this: whenever you need to stop, you tell me. We’ll stop as many times as you need, we’ll stop for good if you want to. I won’t be angry, I won’t be disappointed. This is about you , Ethan, as much as it is about me. We are equals, and I don’t want you to ever forget it.”

Ethan nods again, unable to bring himself to say anything smart.

"What if I don't know what to do...?"

The alpha reassures him:

“We have all the time in the world, and part of the fun is figuring it out together. I don’t want you to be ashamed of anything you want; it’s on me to make sure you’re getting what you need, okay?”

“I… I’ll try. I’ll try to be good for you” 

Damiano sighs softly, kisses Ethan’s cheek.

“It's not about being good, honey. You already are the absolute best to me. I love you, and this won’t change it. If anything, it will only make me love you more. I promise. Thank you for trusting me.”

Ethan takes a moment to look around, at what his former alphas would’ve called their setup. Ethan realizes there’s nothing to look at. It’s just the two of them and the neatly made bed in the silent bedroom. There are no chains, no ropes, no whips, no hooks, nothing. Damiano is quick to notice his surprise.

“What is it?”

“There’s… there’s nothing here… it’s just us. Before, it used to have… so many things, it just feels different.” 

Damiano knows where this is going. He brings the beta closer, lets him lay his head on his shoulder.

“What were you expecting, my love?” - he asks, trying not to make his heartbreak too evident in his tone, because he doesn’t need to wait for the answer - “I don’t need any of that. You’re here out of your own free will, and you’re free to leave at any time. You're here with me and that's more than enough."

Ethan is stunned; even if he knew this time things would be different, he could’ve never imagined how different. How wrong were the things that he’d been taught all his life? He sighs. 

“I’m ready. I love you, I trust you. I’m ready.” - Ethan says, and his voice has never sounded as firm and steady 

Damiano smiles, kisses his forehead. 

“I swear to you, your love is sacred to me. I’m here, and I won’t let you fall.”

Damiano makes sure Ethan is lying down comfortably. He positions himself by his side, hovering over him ever so slightly, after having pulled his own sweatshirt off. Ethan can’t help but think of how intimidating his alpha looks. Even so, when Damiano moves forward, presses the sweetest kiss to his lips, he’s reminded that this is his Damiano. And he feels safer, even as his hoodie is pulled over his head, leaving him wearing only his underwear.

Vulnerable and unsure as he still feels, though, he needs to let Damiano take control of the situation. The alpha is quick to understand, and deepens the kiss ever so delicately. Their parted lips just allow each other to explore, slowly, getting used to the taste of each other, to the feeling of each other; Damiano’s mouth feels warm on his own, and there it is, the dominance coming out, fighting gently for control, and Ethan finds out that he’s happy to surrender it all to him. 

The alpha moves down to kiss his neck, lingering just a little bit longer where he feels his pulse to be stronger. Ethan’s hands are holding on to him, Damiano can feel how his nails leave small scratch marks on his back. He moves down to Ethan’s abdomen, soft, gentle kisses all over his scars, the same scars he knows the beta is so ashamed of. Ethan tenses up, and Damiano moves up to whisper in his ear, like he’d done before.

“I’d kiss away every single one of your pains if I could."

Then, both exchange a knowing look, as Damiano moves his kisses further down, and Ethan begins to feel that adrenaline, that head rush when his blood begins to travel down from his brain. Nimble fingers pull at the waistband of his underwear, as Damiano’s lips have gone up to press against his own again; they are now lying on their sides, facing each other, and the alpha’s arms have brought him closer to his chest.

When he realizes, they’re both naked. Ethan feels exposed, almost ashamed of himself when he feels how obviously aroused he is. Damiano lets out a low chuckle, kisses his forehead, moves his hand down to leave a soft caress where he knows his beta is most sensitive, slowly, teasingly. 

“You have nothing to be ashamed of. This is normal, completely natural.” - he explains, patiently

The alpha’s eyes are shining bright red again, and he moves to whisper softly:

“Your eyes are shining golden. They are so beautiful, you are so, so beautiful”

Ethan is now painfully aware of what’s about to happen, he feels how the air between them just seems to shift and change, he’s seen this part happening too many times before. Even so, he can help but grabbing Damiano’s hand, asking him:

“It’s supposed to hurt, isn’t it?”

Damiano sighs, the question taking him a little by surprise, comes closer, presses a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Not necessarily, darling, no. Trust me, just relax, I’ll make sure you won’t have the time to feel uncomfortable. Don’t worry about a thing” - he reassures 

Ethan is quite confused about what this all means; again, there goes the alpha destroying his every fear and misconception. His alpha’s hand is moving down again, he wraps his fingers around him ever so slowly, moves them even slower up and down, and the beta feels like every touch is burning in the best way possible.

“Close your eyes, my love. Don't be afraid."

Ethan does as he’s told, even if, like this, he can’t see what’s going on, and has to put his full trust on his alpha’s intentions. 

“Do you trust me to take care of you? I will never ever hurt you, Ethan.”

The beta nods in a heartbeat; there aren’t many things in life that he is this certain about. Ethan doesn’t feel his alpha’s warm body next to him for a couple of seconds; he hears a drawer opening next to him, feels him rummaging for something. What’s going on? Then, he feels Damiano’s warm touch back down where his blood has gone to pool entirely. He bends his knees ever so gently, allowing him to take support on his shoulders. Ethan opens his eyes suddenly, startled, to see Damiano positioning himself between his thighs.

“Are you okay, can I go on?” - he asks - “don’t be afraid. Just trust me, okay?”

It all feels so weird to the beta. He feels him circling gently around him, as his mouth travels up to kiss his belly again, moving the kiss down so slowly it makes Ethan shiver in anticipation. 

“Everything okay?” 

Shakily, Ethan nods. This time, he can understand it in his alpha's tone, all beside the worry and the caring, the teasing. Whatever he's doing, he knows it's working, and he’s enjoying himself so much watching his beta slowly lose his mind. He's so lost in the alpha's kisses and caresses he barely spares a thought to slightly burning feeling; it's pleasurable, Ethan is seeing white, his brain no longer working, no longer letting him worry about everything else, just enjoying himself .

"Turn around for me, honey." - the other whispers in his ear, his voice suddenly low, and gruff, much deeper 

Ethan is confused for a second, wondering why his alpha wants him to face away from him, but he does as he is told, laying down on his side, back pressed against his alpha’s chest, who places his chin on his beta’s shoulder, reaching to kiss his cheek. His hand slowly moves down to grab his waist, and Ethan reclines his head ever so slightly.

Damiano smiles at him, his crimson eyes so full of love, but so full of lust. The beta’s own feelings are almost suffocating at this point, and for as insecure as he feels, even if the fear from before still hasn’t abandoned him completely, he knows he is ready. Even the very way the alpha holds him is different from everything he's known; he's not on his hands and knees until his joints are hurting, he's close, so close to Damiano, being held, and cherished. There is a connection between him and his alpha that seems to deepen by the second, to stretch beyond every limit of his understanding. He didn’t think it was possible to love him any more, but his heart is melting, and his whole body is putty in his hands. He says:

“Ready?” 

Ethan nods. Behind him, there’s the sound of something ripping open, like plastic. A second later, Damiano’s hand lays gently on his lower back, moves slowly. For a moment, Ethan is out of breath completely, and doesn't know how to react, what to do. It doesn’t exactly hurt, not as before, not in the way it had been done to him in the past. Damiano is pressing him against his chest, leaving kisses on his neck, whispering sweet words to him, waiting for him to adjust. Patiently, he asks:

“Do you need me to stop?”

Ethan shakes his head, using the last bit of reason inside.

“No. Go.”

The first thrust earns the alpha a guttural sound that rips through the depths of Ethan’s chest. The second comes a little stronger, more determined, makes him see everything white, in a state of bliss. He keeps going, becoming faster and stronger, his arm across his beta’s chest in a hug that, despite everything, feels gentle. Ethan can no longer form sentences, he’s repeating his name as if it’s the only word he’s ever learned, just coming out of his lips like he’s praying, the sounds just making Damiano come closer and closer to his own peak. The alpha can barely reason anymore either, this feeling isn’t something he’s felt before. Ethan reaches up his hand to hold his own, lets out a strangled sound:

“Dami, I can't”

He’s so close, Ethan’s so close, they both know they won’t last much longer. 

“Don't be afraid. Let go"

With a symphony of moans, grunts, and howls, and repeating each other’s names, loud, desperately, like it’s the only thing holding them to sanity , both just let themselves go, their minds go fuzzy. Their lips clash together, hungrily, tiredly, a chuckle echoes through their chests. It’s blissful, like they have just shared moments of beautiful, indescribable, sacred intimacy. 

They stay like that, naked bodies tangled, Damiano still inside him for a while longer, until the alpha turns his exhausted beta around to face him, speaks: 

“My love, how are you? I love you so much"  

Ethan offers him a smile, his voice breaks a little when he speaks.

“I... I don't know what to say"  

There are tears at his eyes that begin to run down his cheeks, there are tears at the alpha’s eyes that mirror his own, despite their laughs. Under the soft moonlight that shines over them, graced by the night’s blessing on their union, they are one flesh, one breath, one mind .

Damiano motions to sit up, earning a whine from Ethan.

“Shh, I'll be back in a little bit ”

Ethan is almost asleep when Damiano returns.

“Lay down on your belly for me”

A warm towel is passed on his lower back, on the inside of his thighs, cleaning him up, soft kisses follow it. Clothes are pulled over their burning hot bodies, Damiano lifts the sheets, gets them both under it, they cuddle close, impossibly close, Ethan hiding his face on Damiano’s chest.

“Are you okay?” - he asks, and the beta nods, tiredly - “my mate ”

My mate. It sounds so damn good .

“Thank you. I love you so much” - he says, then smiles

The laugh Damiano lets out his pure, genuine, crystal clear, resonates through his chest.

“I love you too"

Ethan can’t help but laugh as well, blush slightly at his alpha’s words. At his mate’s words . Soon enough, they’re fast asleep, heavy bodies never untangling until morning.

Chapter Text

It’s early morning when Damiano’s eyes flutter open. From behind the closed blinds comes a soft, faint light that projects a greyish glow all over the bedroom. His gaze then settles on his lover’s sleeping features; Ethan still rests peacefully beside him, forehead on his shoulder and cuddling close, impossibly close. Even if Damiano’s arm almost feels numb, from the weird sleeping position, even if it feels hot under the covers, with Ethan’s body heat on his own making it feel like a small furnace, Damiano wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Lying in his arms, there’s his mate . Now every pack will know, that’s his mate , the love of his life, who has given himself entirely to him, who has put his heart, and his trust entirely in his hands. Damiano still can’t wrap his head around it completely; he can only hope to be the mate Ethan deserves.  

It takes a little longer for Ethan to slowly stir awake, stretching lazily and opening his eyes, long lashes batting softly as he blinks a few times. Then, it all just comes back to him; Damiano is his mate. They’re now officially bound for life, connected to each other in such a special, magical way.  He looks up, when he realizes he’s been sleeping against a solid, strong chest, embraced by the two arms around him that hold him close; the alpha’s eyes are that soft tone of hazel that Ethan loves so much, looking at him. He’s smiling, brings his forehead to press against his, leaves a soft, lazy kiss to his lips.

“'Morning, love"

Ethan smiles, replies, in a whisper:

“Morning"

“How are you feeling?”

Ethan thinks about this for a second; his body does feel a little sore after the intensity of the previous night, but there’s also this unexplainable feeling inside of him, this unwavering love that makes him feel warm inside. 

“Good. I think, I…” - he replies, unsure of how to go on, as a bout of sudden insecurity seems to take him by surprise - “how are you? How absolutely horrible was I?”

Damiano’s face falls, goes a little serious, a little sadder. He lifts his hand to caress Ethan’s cheek, kisses his forehead.

“How can you say that?" - he says - “yesterday was all about discovering, my love, figuring out how we work together. And I’d say we work together pretty damn well, wouldn’t you say?” 

Ethan nods, chuckles lightly, allows himself to fall a little further into Damiano’s embrace. There was nothing scary, painful or traumatizing about that, it was beautiful, and gentle, and special.

“It's official, isn't it?” - the beta says, more to himself than to Damiano, breaking the momentary silence, as if he still doesn’t believe that it’s true

Damiano hugs him a little tighter.

“It is. I’m so happy."

Ethan sighs.

“I still don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Damiano shakes his head, kisses the beta’s cheek.

"Stop. We both deserve this.” - he tells him - “don't you think we have suffered enough already?”          

Ethan nods. In a way, the alpha is right. Maybe it’s time for them to just stop telling themselves they don’t deserve the good things that happen to them. Maybe it’s time for Ethan to realize that he’s not broken , or, even if his past has broken him completely, he’s healing. He’s healing , and as for Damiano, maybe it’s time for him to stop carrying that guilt, that shame within himself. Maybe he found as much forgiveness in Ethan as Ethan found in him a place to heal. 

The alpha speaks again:

“I’m starving . What do you say we go have breakfast with the others?”

Now that the beta thinks about it, he hasn’t really eaten anything for a while, considering both have skipped their previous night’s dinner for a… different kind of meal, one could say; he’s positively starved, so he’s quick to agree to the alpha’s plan. Lazily, they take their sweet time untangling from each other, exchanging lazy, sloppy kisses under the covers, laughing softly, in a world of their own. Ethan protests when the alpha eventually ends up kicking the covers off of them, the suddenly cold air making them shiver. Hand in hand, they make it out of the room, treading their way to the kitchen, where Maso, Vic and Poppo are already sitting at the table, quietly having breakfast.

When the pair arrives and greets everyone, all eyes are on them; each of the pack members greets them back.

They can see it on their faces, something’s changed. There’s a lightness in the very way they both move, and they can all feel it: the dynamic of the pack has changed for good. As they sit next to each other, in their usual spots, they take a look around; at first, everything seems normal, an usual, ordinary day. However, after a couple seconds and taking a closer look, Damiano and Ethan can see it on their pack mates’ faces. Maso is hiding a smile, Vic is looking at them with a weird, amused look on her face, and Poppo, while lifting a spoonful of his breakfast to his mouth, is biting the inside of his cheek as if somehow trying to refrain from making a stupid comment. 

Of course, before being an alpha, he is an older brother. And what kind of older brother would he be if he refrained from making stupid comments to his baby brother and his newfound mate? 

The first one is directed at both. Ethan (poor Ethan), immediately turns red as a pepper. 

"You could at least try and shine a little less, some of us are just waking up.” 

Damiano stops his spoon mid-air to look at Poppo. Even if he tries his best to look offended, he can’t help the smile that immediately resurfaces.

“Yeah, about that…” - Damiano begins, wanting to share the good news with his mates 

Surprisingly, it’s Maso who speaks next, looking unbothered as he takes a bite off his pancake.

“We know. We heard it very well, anyway”

Poppo bursts out laughing. Ethan is blushing so furiously he looks like he wants to take off running from the table. Victoria takes a sip of her lemonade with a smirk; Damiano looks at her, squints his eyes a little, just guessing she’s about to say something really stupid.

"Something wrong, Vic?" 

"Uhm no, except that I didn't sleep very well with the weird noises coming from your room."

She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence, as a crumpled napkin flies in her direction, hitting her forehead and then falling to the table in front of her. Poppo is crying with laughter, holds up his hand for Victoria to give a high-five to, Maso is cackling; Damiano can’t help but laugh too at her stupidity, and Ethan, for as red as he still is, has a light smile on his face, and Damiano’s hand that is holding his own under the table.  

“You're an idiot.” - Damiano says 

Vic sticks her tongue out at him. 

“And you're a perv!”

Damiano shakes his head, good naturedly. Then, exchanges a look with Ethan, speaks up:

“Jokes aside, before Ethan faints, anyway-” - he begins - “I know you all know.”

It’s clear for everyone to see how happy they are, and it makes their heart flutter with pride for their family, and for those two who are finally finding in each other the love they deserve. 

“You both deserve each other. So much." - Poppo says, hugging the both of them

Soon enough, he gives way for the twins to bring the guys into a heartfelt hug, and the connection between the four is almost overwhelming for a second. Ethan speaks for the first time, loud and clear:

“We love you, you know that, right?"

Then, before they get way too sentimental, Victoria speaks.

“Yeah, but let me ask you something, Ethan, did he shag you as he should, or do I need to teach him a couple things first?"

Before a very flushed Ethan can even begin to think of an answer, a tiny voice sounds behind them.

“What's 'shagging'? I don't get it."

Little Alice is standing right behind them, still in her pajamas and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, confused by this talking she doesn’t really understand. Maso laughs so hard he’s almost falling off his chair, and Vic can barely breathe between the bouts of loud laughter she lets out. 

Poppo facepalms , opens his arms to the little beta, and she comes running to him to give him a big hug. 

“Poppo, what does it mean?” - she repeats the question

Now it’s Ethan and Damiano’s turn to laugh out loud at the clear discomfort in the older alpha’s face. 

“It's a very bad word and you can't say it, okay?" - he says, with a smile, clearly not meant to reprimand the little girl - “you’ll understand when you’re a little older, yeah?”

Alice looks absolutely lost, but Poppo offers, immediately:

“Want some pancakes?”

This is more than enough to divert the young beta’s attention. 

Damiano knows, however, that the twins and his own brother won’t let them live this down this easily. 

Damiano doesn’t mind, though. He knows Ethan doesn’t either. This is their family. This is home . 

They’re sitting outside together, watching as Vic, Maso and Poppo exercise and joke around, having dragged Ethan with them to their frolicking. Damiano is holding a book in his lap, and Alice, despite having brought a small rag doll with her, is looking at the young wolves a short distance from them, but seems to be thinking of something else. 

They’re such a beautiful pack . How’s it like to have a family like they do? To be part of a pack like they are? 

Quietly, she speaks:

“Damiano… can I ask you something?”  

Damiano lifts his gaze from the pages of the book to look at the little beta, then smiles at her. 

“'Course. What is it?”  

Alice seems to be a little shy, but goes on, nonetheless.

“You are Ethan’s alpha, aren’t you?”

He raises an eyebrow at the question, but nods.

“I am. And Vic and Maso’s too, they are my pack”

Alice takes a moment to think about his answer. Then, asks again:

“What does an alpha do?”

Damiano seems to think about it for a little. She’s curious, this little one, and the alpha is overall just really happy that she is becoming more at ease around them.

“Well, as their alpha, I’m supposed to protect my betas and take care of them. If they need anything, they come to me, and I try to help.”

The little girl’s face falls in a sad expression, as she seems to be reminded of something.

“Manu was an alpha too, wasn’t he? He had red eyes, like you do.” - she says, earning a nod from Damiano - “I… I thought all alphas had to be mean and scary.”

Damiano smiles, puts his arm over the girl’s shoulder, brings her a little closer.

“Beh, darling, do you think Poppo and I are mean and scary?”

Alice smiles, shakes her head. The brothers are everything but. Poppo in particular has been taking care of her for a long time, even when she was trapped in that house of horrors, he'd care for her the best that he could, and she'd come find him when she needed him. Isn't that what Damiano just said an Alpha is? Then, the girl asks one more question:

“Is Poppo my alpha? Are we a pack?”

Damiano is taken by surprise.

“Well, officially, not yet” - he replies, watching Alice’s face drop at that - “but it doesn't mean you're not a family already. Sweetheart, if you really want him to be your alpha, you should tell him."

"What if he gets mad?"

Damiano caresses her cheek.

“He won't be mad. Don't worry.”

Alice smiles at the alpha, thinks about the question for a little longer. 

*

Later on, after the pack has had their dinner, Poppo is quietly cleaning the kitchen counter, with his back turned to the door. Alice is nervous as she approaches him, hesitates a little, her voice shakes, but she goes ahead, still.

“Poppo…” - she calls out, earning his attention - “can I... can I ask you a question?”

Poppo turns back, wiping his hands on a washcloth, raises an eyebrow, and picks the child up to sit her on the counter beside him as he works.

“Yes, of course. Everything okay?"

"I was thinking... that I've never had an alpha. Manu was...”

Poppo nods, allowing her to go on, focusing his full attention on her.

“And I... I wanted to have a pack, like Vic, and Maso...” - she confesses - “and then I talked to Dami, if I could ask you, I-”

The alpha is surprised to say the least, thinks he understands where this is going, but lets the young beta talk. 

“Go ahead, sweetheart, you can ask me anything you want to.” - he says 

“I wanted to ask you... if you want to be my alpha, if you want to be a pack."

He hugs her close, caressing her long hair, feeling how she grows a little agitated.

“Oh, honey"  - he begins - “To me, you're my beta, my pack already, you've always been. But if you want to make it official, of course. Of course we can do it."

The young girl’s face lights up with a smile.

“Really?”

Poppo nods, ignoring the annoying prickling of tears at his eyes. He hugs Alice again.

“Yes. Really.”

Still hugging the alpha, Alice says, voice suddenly small, so heavy with emotion.

“I love you, Poppo”

He chuckles, suddenly flooded by a wave of love for his little beta.

“I love you too, my darling.”

Chapter Text

“She’s too little, isn’t she? It’s too soon for this.” 

Poppo is excited, moved, that little Alice wants to be his beta officially, that she trusts him like that, that she wants to be connected to him in that unexplainable way that only members of the same pack can understand. However, he can't hide that he is nervous, second guessing himself. Is this really what she needs? Is he up to the task, to the responsibility, especially considering her young age?

Damiano gives his brother a sympathetic smile, places a hand on his shoulder. Not too long ago, it was himself asking his beta the same questions, wondering that maybe Ethan wasn’t ready yet, that maybe they were jumping in too fast. However, Damiano now understands that when it’s time, it’s time. Alice sounds more than ready, and sure of what she wants. Damiano sees how his older brother moves and reacts around her, with such a protective almost father-like instinct towards her (the same protective instinct that he’d always shown around him, even if it was never shown to him from their own father), and he knows Poppo is ready. It’s meant to be, them sticking together, being a family. 

“Poppo… she wants this. She wants to be your pack. She might be young, but she is clever, and I know she feels it too, even if she can’t name it yet. You found each other, there's no way around it. You both just know...” 

Poppo nods, pensively. 

“Did you just know, with them, I mean?” 

Damiano smiles, nods at him.

“I did. And so did they.” - he says, not even hiding the pride in his voice - “they’ve shown me a side of me I didn’t remember was still here.”

Poppo doesn’t reply for a moment, but the younger brother knows exactly what he is thinking.

Damiano has rescued his betas from horrible situations and painful pasts, but his betas have saved him as well, showed him that he wasn’t the monster he thought he was, showed him that he didn’t have to keep punishing himself all his life.

Poppo might have saved little Alice from the claws of a cruel man, too, but, in a way, she saved him as well. She offered him solace, atonement, an escape from grief, someone to protect when he thought he’d failed at protecting his own baby brother, a way to look in the mirror and forgive himself for everything, even if, deep down, he knew it hadn’t been his fault. 

Sighing, he finally speaks:

“I’m ready. I hope she hasn’t changed her mind”

Damiano pats him in the back.

“I’m sure she hasn’t, Poppo, and even if she has, it’s going to be okay”

Alice takes a look at the sunset outside, setting the sky ablaze in its wake. On the opposite side, the moon begins to rise in all of its splendor, and a shiver runs through all of her little body. It 's almost time. At the end of the night, she’ll have a pack . 

She loves Poppo, that much she knows, like a brother she’d never had, like a father of sorts. The alpha has shown her a kind of love she didn’t even realize existed anymore, and there is no one in the world she trusts more. Despite the excitement, all kinds of thoughts go through the young beta’s mind; what if Poppo changes his mind? What if it hurts? What if she’ll never be able to change again, and Poppo is disappointed in her? Spiraling down her negative thoughts and anxieties, Alice feels the annoying sting of tears pooling at her eyes. Why is she crying, anyway? Shouldn't she be happy? Why do these feelings have to be so difficult, so complex?

Gently pulling her out of her maze of thoughts, there’s a soft caress to her hair. 

“Sweetheart, are you okay?"

Ethan, with his long hair tied behind his head, and a kind smile on his face, greets her, watches her with worry, sensing her agitation, reading it from her features. Alice makes an effort to smile back; after all, Ethan has been nothing but the embodiment of gentleness to her.

Quietly, she replies:

“Hi. Yes, I'm okay.”

Ethan frowns slightly. Sitting beside her, he invites her to sit on his legs, facing him. 

“What’s wrong?” - he asks - “talk to me. It'll make you feel better.”

Alice sighs. She doesn’t really want to voice her concerns to him, fearing she might sound stupid. Ethan, however, goes on:

“Are you anxious about what’s going to happen, about Poppo? Scared?”

The young beta blushes suddenly, looks down, avoiding Ethan’s gaze, and nods. Ethan, with care, tucks a strand of her long hair behind her ear.

“Well, that's normal. No need to be embarrassed."  - he reassures - “you know, when Damiano made me part of his pack, I was absolutely terrified. I cried the whole afternoon before it happened.”

Alice shoots him a questioning look.

“Why?” 

Ethan smiles, thinks of how to phrase his thoughts best, in a way she can understand it, too.

"Well. Where I- where we, came from, there was never this much love. And the alphas there, they weren't too kind to us, were they?" - he asks, carefully

Alice thinks about it for a minute. No, indeed they were not. They were mean, and they screamed so much, and they’d hurt her sometimes and made her do things that were painful, that she didn't want to do. She shakes her head, allowing the older beta to keep speaking.

“So, you see, I was really scared that the same thing would happen with Damiano. I was scared of getting hurt again. I had no idea what was about to happen, and that made me really anxious.” - he explains - “but then, he was so, so gentle, so sweet to me, that I realized I didn’t have to be afraid, he wouldn’t hurt me, ever. He hugged me, and he promised he’d take care of me, and he did, Alice. He showed me that being a part of a pack is the most beautiful thing in the world, and you'll see that, too."

Alice is listening attentively to his every word, her eyes wide. 

“Does it hurt?”

Ethan shakes his head.

“No, sweetheart. It doesn't, at all. You don't need to be afraid." - he comforts - "We'll be right there with you. Poppo loves you, he always will."

“Ethan… what if I can never change again and he won’t- what if I'm not a wolf, like him?”

Ethan interrupts her, shaking his head once more.

“Listen, darling, I’m going to tell you the same thing Dami told me. There’s a wolf inside you, it’s who you are. We all can feel it, too. It might take you a little longer to get to her, but she’s there, she's just really scared.” - he explains, placing a hand above her heart Alice nods, the worries inside her dissipating a little.

"Why is she scared? She doesn't need to be scared, does she?"

"No, she doesn't. But she doesn't know that yet. She thinks you're both still back at... the bad place."  - Ethan explains - "With time, and patience, and.a a lot of love, she'll understand and come out again. No need to worry about it; Poppo will be there to guide you through it. So will we.

Alice considers this, feels a little hopeful, looks at Ethan, thinking of something. Then, she decides to ask one last question:

“But you... you and Dami are... special, right?" -  she says, making the other beta smile - “I… he loves you… more, doesn’t he?”

This time, it’s Damiano, who’s standing in the doorway watching the pair with a look of almost adoration on his face, who steps forward to crouch down next to the young beta, and replies:

“It’s not loving him more, sweet girl, it’s loving him differently.” - he explains - “I love all of my pack, I love Poppo, and I love you. But Ethan is my mate. It’s different”

Ethan smiles bright at him. 

“What’s a mate?”

Damiano considers this for a moment, and wonders how to explain it to her. It’s Ethan, however, who speaks first:

“You're a little too young to understand.” - he says - “but when you find your mate, it’s someone you… connect with, for the rest of your life. It’s like you become just one person. Doesn't mean you don't love everyone else. It's just... different.”

Alice’s confusion makes the alpha chuckle. Softly caressing her cheek, he says:

“You’ll understand when you’re older, sweetheart. I promise. For now, let’s get you ready, c’mon, Vic and Maso will help you.” - he commands, gently - "And leave those silly fears behind, okay? Everything will be okay."

Alice leans forward to kiss Ethan’s cheek; then, does the same to Damiano’s, and leaves the room in a hurry, to go search for the twins. Laughing, endeared by the sweetness of it all, Damiano sits beside Ethan, kisses his temple, then, looks at him, gives him a smirk. Ethan asks:

“How much did you hear?”

Damiano chuckles.

“Enough.” - he replies - “you really were terrified that day, when I made you part of the pack, weren’t you?”

Ethan nods, smiles, sadly. Damiano takes the moment to bring his hand up to lay on his beta’s cheek.

“Are you still scared?”

The beta furrows his brow at the question.

“What kind of question is that? I'm not.” - he says - “I mean… some things are still… hard for me to believe, or to accept, or to convince my brain that it won’t go the way I've been taught to expect. But I could never be scared of you. Not anymore.” 

Damiano kisses his forehead, then his lips.

“Good. I love you. I’ll never get tired of telling you how much I love you.”

Ethan smiles.

“I love you too. Somehow you have my entire heart in your hands, Damiano” 

“And I’ll always take care of it as my most precious treasure” - the alpha reassures. 

Ethan knows he’s telling the truth.

The moon is shining bright; the pack decides to move outside, enjoy the pleasant night that signals that the winter days are nearly over. Every star in the sky is perfectly visible, and the sight is so beautiful it brings some kind of calm to Alice’s nervous heart. She walks hand in hand with Ethan at first, reminding herself of the beta’s previous reassurances. 

She thinks It’s all going to be okay, and, surprisingly enough, she’s beginning to believe it.

Ethan, Vic, Maso and Damiano remain together, watching as Poppo and the little girl both sit just a short distance from them. There’s some kind of comforting aura around them, they’re feeling like, finally , all is coming to its right place. 

Alice looks at Poppo. He smiles at her, holds her shaky hand, tries to steady it.

“Hi, beautiful. Are you okay?” - he asks.

She chuckles at the name, squeezes his hand a little tighter.

“Hi, Poppo”.

Despite his attempts at soothing the nerves he knows she’s feeling, something still remains. He tells her:

“No need to be nervous. You know I would never, ever hurt you, right?" - he tries to comfort - "I promise I will always take care of you, my love. You'll always have love, and you'll always have a family. I swear this to you."

There are tears in Alice’s eyes, especially because she knows this to be true. She closes her eyes, something seems to change in the air around her.

"Close your eyes, darling."

It all happens so fast, she barely realizes. When she opens her eyes again to face her alpha, Poppo is smiling at her, he, too, with silent tears running down his cheeks. She throws herself forward to wrap her arms around his neck, engulfing him in the most heartfelt, genuine hug. 

“I love you, Poppo”

“I love you, little one. I always willl.” - he replies

She looks around, to see Maso and Vic smiling at her, Vic’s head resting on her twin’s shoulder. They feel at peace , watching the heartwarming scene unfold, watching as all the love from before becomes something even more special and unique. They’ll be alright. Everyone’s alright. 

Damiano and Ethan are, too, hugging closely. The alpha’s heart could burst with joy for his brother, for his family, for all the pieces that are finally coming together, for the warm feeling that invades all of them, after so many years of grief, and worry, and shame, and guilt.

There’s nothing but love . And it feels so right .

Hours later, Damiano and Ethan are walking through the woods together. Even if it’s the dead of night and everyone has gone back inside a while ago, they enjoy the solitude and quiet in each other’s company. 

Damiano’s grip on Ethan's hand tightens a little. He looks up to see his face, his crimson eyes that seem to burn a little brighter when the moonlight hits them.

“Change with me”

Ethan is slightly confused by his request.

“Now?”

Damiano nods. How can the beta ever say no to this man he loves so much?

It just takes them a little while; after all, Ethan’s wolf is getting more and more comfortable coming out, it gets so little effort now to just become one with the wonderful creature he’s come to know so well.

They walk together for a while longer, until they hit a clear spot. Grass is beginning to spring out on the ground below them, after the winter’s harshness; it’s damp, but it feels somehow soft under their paws. They lay down, side by side. The bigger, brown wolf beside him places his muzzle gently on his neck. He accepts the gesture, feels the unbound, unrestrained adoration that is just echoing on both of their chests. The faint light of the moon shines over them; they have at last found peace .

The night sky had always called out for him, like some sort of unknown spell bound him to the moonlight. Now, as love is coursing untamed through his veins, filling up every void from the past, he wonders; maybe the moonlight has always lived inside him.