Chapter Text
- The Brother
“Tim?”
Jason tapped on Tim’s door tentatively. He laid his full weight against the door, sliding down until his knees were in his chest. Under different circumstances, the dramatic part of him would have him knocking again, asking to build a snowman. But this wasn’t the time.
I should've known, why didn’t I see the mask he was hiding behind?
“Tim, can we talk? You can…” He swallowed. “You can stay in there, if it makes you feel safer. I promise I wasn’t trying to get you killed, I-”
A very unmanly squawk escaped him when the door swung open behind him, and Jason fell over. Flat on his back, he stared up into Tim’s red-rimmed, blue eyes.
“I know that,” he said simply, shrugging. “Kinda figured that one after you stopped me from climbing the freaking counter.” His voice was smooth, with only a slight scratchy echo, like he hadn’t just been sobbing his eyes out.
“Oh,” Jason whispered.
“Yeah, oh ,” Tim snorted. “So you can cut the bullshit. You can say whatever it is you’ve been practicing.”
“Oh.”
Sitting up, Jason looked into Tim’s dark and dreary room. Tim stood at the door, hand gesturing for him to enter. Slowly he got to his feet, eyeing him warily, before centering himself in front of the bed, where Tim perched himself.
“I’m sorry,” Jason started, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not asking you to forgive me, it’s- I-” he blinked, wetting lips as he tried to locate the words he had earlier. “Fuck it, I don’t know what I want! I wanted you to leave so you wouldn’t end up like me. But at the same time I was jealous, so I kept trying to make you miserable. But, but then, then the longer I was with you, the more I didn’t want you to go away. And I got conflicted with my stupid mission. And I kept telling myself it was about Bruce. That it was always about him… I kept telling myself it was because I died … I wondered if he even mourned me.”
His voice died in his throat as his chest heaved with fluttering breaths. Jason brought a hand up his face, finding it wet.
This isn’t supposed to be about me, why am I even crying?
“He missed you. He missed you so much. Bruce is your dad, and he loves you. ”
Jason looked up, staring at Tim, with his fingers curled in his blankets, watching him unblinkingly.
“God, he hated me for the longest time.” Jason raised an eyebrow. “No, seriously,” Tim assured him, nodding. “B couldn’t stand seeing me in the suit.”
“But, he’s the one who-”
“Nope,” Tim interrupted him, popping the ‘p’. “I put myself in that suit. You’ve probably heard bits and pieces, but Batman got violent, you were dead and he wanted to…” He trailed off for a second. “The point is, I made myself Robin. He didn’t replace you, I did.”
Taking an awkward step forward, Jason lifted a hand, before letting it drop at his side. He bit his lip. Tim actually laughed, though bitterly, at his reaction.
“Seriously, how dumb do you think I am, that I can’t hear you cut yourself off before calling me ‘Replacement’?”
“Tim, I-” Jason sat down on the far end of his bed, watching him hesitantly. Tim moved back against the headrest.
“Don’t. Seriously? Don’t. Just finish what you wanted to say.”
“I never meant for you to get hurt-”
“Yes you did !” Tim huffed in exasperation, rubbing his cheeks to stop his tears from falling. “I don’t care if you didn’t mean to hurt me physically, you wanted to hurt me. And I, I don’t- You just had to hit where it hurts.”
Jason scooted a bit closer. “Kid-”
“And it hurts ,” Tim kept going, taking harsh, shuddering breaths. “It hurts because you acted like my brother, but you were just pretending. And it hurts because you wanted me to think nobody loved me. And it hurts so bad, because I’ve been selfish, because all I wanted was for someone to finally have even the smallest room to love me!”
He broke down, unable to keep his mask together as it crumpled hopelessly around him. Jason closed the distance between, his arms cramping awkwardly, unable to figure out what to do with themselves.
Quite the pair we make, huh?
“Shh, hey, no. You’re not selfish, not for wanting a family to love you. B loves you, I promise, Baby Bird. I mean, the guy loves all his kids, despite his obvious hoarding problem. But, I mean, have you seen the guy? He’s huge. His heart’s big enough to fit all the broken children he picks up. If something happened to you, to anyone, he’d be crushed-... Oh. Well, fuck.”
Jason couldn’t contain the snort that escaped him at his realization. A tiredness filled him, doubts of his ‘big mission’ threatening to swallow him whole. His arms wouldn’t move, but when had something so trivial ever stopped him? Instead, he tipped forward, burying his forehead on Tim’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry I started us off on the wrong foot, but I care about you. I cared the whole time, subconsciously, without even realizing it. When you climbed up the freaking counter, I freaked out because I thought you were gonna fall and crack your head open.”
“ Wouldn’t’ve ,” he swore he heard Tim mutter.
“And that whole shit, trying to mess you up in school? That was petty. That was just me trying to get you benched.”
He felt the kid tense under him. “You tried to mess me up when you were tutoring me?” Tim gasped.
“Wait, you didn’t-” Jason’s head shot up to find Tim biting his lip, holding back a cackle. “Oh, come on you little shit, don’t scare me like that!”
Tim let out a snicker, smirking at him. “So worth it. I mean, dude, I’m not in 8th grade. I’m in high school. Way into high school. Like, grade skipping, 15 year old in 11th grade.”
“Yeah, well, in my defense, you’re tiny!” Jason groaned in embarrassment, his hands managing to unglue enough to plant themselves on his face. “I had like a dozen scenarios running through my head when Dick told me. Highschool parties are nuts, man… I wish I hadn’t ruined your art show, though.”
“You didn’t.” Tim blinked, looking away. “I didn’t think you’d want to go, you know, all things considered. And, I don’t know, my pictures have always felt kind of personal.” He let out a long sigh, carefully pulling Jason’s hands away. “I don’t forgive you. I can’t, because I can’t be sure if you’re being sincere with me, understand?” Jason nodded. “...But. But. Maybe one day I can show you some of my pictures?”
Arms finally finding their strength, Jason tugged Tim into a hug.
“I’d love that. I’m sorry I hurt you, that I kept trying to hurt you.”
"Okay, well, I don't mind pranks every once in a while. But if you ever mess with my cases again, you're a dead man. Again."
Tim wrapped his arms around him, practically melting as Jason ran a hand down his back. Jason looked down at him.
“What, you really like hugs?”
“I don't know,” Tim mumbled, muffled against his shirt. “Everybody keeps telling me I’m touch starved, but I don’t know,” he said, shrugging against Jason, who was trying not to laugh.
“Okay, Timbo, well,” he moved to settle himself at Tim’s side. “I’m no Dick-”
“No, you’re just a dick,” Tim interrupted him seriously.
“Yes, I’m a dick,” Jason acknowledged. “But I don’t mind hugging it out for a while. If that’s okay with you?”
“Yup,” Tim said, snuggling up under his arm. “Can’t say I mind right now.”
“Well good, because you know, technically ,” Jason elbowed him gently in the ribs. “You’re still supposed to be on watch for secondary drowning.”
“Oh, come one,” Tim grumbled. “I’m fine .”
“Uh, no? You almost drowned, dumbass.” Jason rolled his eyes. “Not something I can just forget. Now that really freaked me out.”
“Big brother instincts,” Tim assured him, sagely. “Somewhere, very, very deep inside, you apparently have those.”
“Huh. Well, that figures.”
“I know, I feel so comforted by the fact.”
“Oh my God, you're such an ass!” Jason puffed, ruffling his hair. “Do you have any idea what I had to sit through last night? Do you?”
“Uh. Right. About that…”
It took a while. 16 hours, to be precise, before Bruce built up the courage to knock on Tim’s door. Well, to be even more precise, stand in front of his bedroom door, with knocking in mind.
In the end, he settled for a quick knock, clearing his throat as he let himself in.
“Tim?”
To his surprise, he found two pairs of eyes staring up at him judgmentally. One green, the other blue.
Tim was curled up against Jason’s side, who had a book in his lap. Jason raised a singular eyebrow, while Tim blinked at him innocently.
“ Yes , dad?” they asked in unison.
“Uh…” Bruce shuffled his feet uncomfortably, glancing from one son to the other. “You know what, I think I’ll just come back later.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Jason grumbled, picking the book back up.
He closed the door gently behind him, as he watched Tim close his eyes, listening.
“Everything good in there?” Dick asked, appearing at his shoulder.
“Yeah, I think so,” he said. “I think so.”