Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

WEEK 0.5

"Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter.

"You're now tied for longest-running contestant, along with Qin Su for four seasons each. That's pretty amazing," says the segment host. "Tell us a bit about your strategy."

"Oh, well I don't want to give too much away. And it really depends! We get a list of the competing alphas each year a couple of weeks before the show starts, and I try to do my research on all of them."

"Speaking of which, I'm sure that all competing alphas now know you by reputation at least. You've won all three of your previous seasons with a combination of fighting and trickery, whereas most of our other omega competitors tend to go for more a subtle route. Is that what you're planning on doing this year?"

"It's worked for me so far. And, I'm told, it makes for good television."

Off-screen, Wei Wuxian is watching himself talk with half an eye on the TV.

"That was pretty good," says Nie Huaisang. "You come off as confident, just a touch arrogant but justified in being a veteran participant."

"I mean, that is what I am," says Wei Wuxian, huffing from the treadmill. He's sweating a little more than he would normally from this amount of exertion, but they all are in the omega villa, three days out from the season officially starting. He fights through it, knowing that his physical condition is only going to deteriorate from here. Everyone thinks the first half is all relaxation on the beach for six weeks, but not being able to prepare the way he would like for a two-week long survival stint at the end of it makes things difficult. He has to get his working out done now.

Huaisang, on the other hand, is fanning himself on the sofa. Wei Wuxian does not ask him what he's planning to do, because that would be rude, but he suspects it'll be entirely different to his plan. A shame, because Huaisang has been good company in the villa so far and it would be cool if they could have stuck together.

There are two ways an omega can win Hot or Knot. The first is to finish the season without being knotted at all, and the second is to finish the season having coupled and knotted with an alpha – and the Grand Prize goes to being voted the audience’s favourite couple on top of that.

It seems simple enough, but there’s always some drama every year from people who get knotted and then try and switch partners, or alphas who knot someone and then move onto a different contestant. Typical matchmaking TV shenanigans.

In converse, there is only one way an alpha can win. They must knot an omega and win with them by the end of the two week long finale event. Most of the ones who don't, end up dead.

Ω

Print profile on contestant Wei Wuxian.

Interviewer: Some viewers argue that you have an unfair advantage on the other contestants, as a repeat contender. You must be very familiar now with the format of the show, and how it works.

WWX: Sure, and they're right, it is an advantage. But a lot of it is real world survival skills that anyone can gain from various other activities. We've had contestants who were really experienced with hiking and camping which gives them a good working knowledge of how terrain works, we've had contestants who've trained in martial arts which is useful if they want to fight, and so on. Plus, you have to make it to the finale first and that relies on the other contestants wanting to couple with you.

Interviewer: And what do you think of your competition this year?

WWX: The other omegas? The thing you have to remember that this isn't a single winner kind of competition. It's rare, but all the omegas can win in the same season, and each of us have different ideal results. I'm a Career Omega, so I'm usually trying to finish the show unknotted, but most of the others are on the show to compete for a worthy mate.

Interviewer: Usually?

WWX: Well, I'm not averse to being mated. I'm just waiting for the right one. 

Interviewer: I didn't peg you for a romantic.

WWX: Yeah, it's real romantic after we've all been living outdoors with no showers or toilets for two weeks.

Interviewer: And what about the alphas? 

WWX: They look like an exciting bunch. I've read all their profiles so I know roughly why they've joined the show and what they're looking to get out of it, but realistically I won't know what they're really like until they're close enough to smell my slick.

Ω

WEEK 1

The change in air quality is palpable when the alphas move into the alpha villa, separated from the omegas by a quaint little fence, as if that will actually stop anyone if they wanted to get over it. There's twenty of the alpha contestants compared to only ten omegas, so there's always a fair amount of posturing on Move In Day, as they preen in front of the camera or hoist their luggage up over their shoulders on the way in, showing off their assets.

The omegas mostly pretend not to watch Move In Day, too aloof and busy working out or grooming or whatever obnoxious stereotype of omegas are floating around these days. In actuality, Wei Wuxian is squashed in between Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu on Huaisang's bed, which has the best view overlooking the fence to watch each of the alphas as they disembark the shuttle, pause and pose and do their introductions for the camera and then walk up into the alpha house, located a respectful twenty metres away from the omega villa.

Huaisang is keeping up a steady running commentary in the style of the TV narration when it's aired. "Next up is Jin Zixuan. He's newly single (ooohh), wealthy as balls aaaaand hm, currently pretty high on the hot list I'd say, judging by what we can see of his profile."

"Ohmygod," squeaks Mo Xuanyu. "That's my half-brother you're talking about."

As one, Huaisang and Wei Wuxian swivel their heads to look at Mo Xuanyu as he cringes away from the window. They peer back out at Jin Zixuan, who is talking to the camera whilst wearing only a pair of gold boardshorts and a thin layer of oil across his waxed torso, and then back at Mo Xuanyu, who is a baby goth twink if Wei Wuxian ever met one.

"Which half?" asks Wei Wuxian eventually.

"Same dad."

He and Huaisang exchange looks, and teeters his hand back and forth. "Eeeeh, you didn't know your dad growing up. That's probably fine."

Mo Xuanyu smacks him on the arm. "Gross."

That's the thing that Mo Xuanyu hasn't quite grasped though – whether or not Wei Wuxian really believes it's fine is irrelevant, but what he never fails to remember is that there are cameras recording their every moment. If his quotes get picked for headlines and blogs and tweets, more people are going to be interested in him – and he's going to need all the support he can get once they hit the finale where each contestant gets their own stream and viewers can choose who to watch.

So he can deal with gossip rags running Incest is fine?? says Wei Wuxian alongside a giant picture of his face for a few days. All publicity is good publicity.

"Doesn't that mean you've got two brothers on this show?" asks Huaisang, tipping his chin to indicate the other side of the dorm, where Meng Yao's bed is. "What are the chances?"

"Yeeeeeah," says Mo Xuanyu. "We don't exactly talk to each other much, so I didn't know they applied as well. And it's not like Meng Yao and I would end up together if we're both omegas."

"Good storyline for this season," says Wei Wuxian. "Sibling rivalry? Family reunion? Or something like that."

Mo Xuanyu shudders. "I'd rather stay away from both of them, thanks."

They turn their attention back to the window as Jin Zixuan walks up to the villa, and Huaisang resumes narration. "Okay, well Jin Zixuan automatically slides down the hot list a notch for having 'it's complicated' family issues – thanks, Mo Xuanyu – and up next is Wen Chao. He's the second son of the famous Wen family, the younger brother of Wen Xu who competed a couple of seasons ago, although you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at him. There doesn't seem to be much family resemblance. Oh well. Also rich as balls, at least."

"Money can't buy love," quips Wei Wuxian.

"But it might buy you a nice omega," Huaisang joins in. It's his first time competing, but he's taken to this TV personality thing like a duck to water.

"Um," says Mo Xuanyu, still looking out of the window at the next contestant. "Isn't that your brother?"

Wei Wuxian goes back to the window as Huaisang grimaces.

"Yep, that's da-ge. He's here to keep an eye on me."

"He's not playing to win? He looks like he's here to win," says Wei Wuxian. The man in question is wearing a t-shirt in what is probably a size L and should probably be a size XL as it's struggling somewhat to contain all of his biceps and shoulders and pecs. And a pair of cargo shorts.

"He always looks like he's playing to win," says Huaisang with a sigh.

Truthfully, Wei Wuxian doesn't really need to be here. The omegas are given a dossier on each of the alpha participants ahead of time, with their names and little dating profiles available. His time is probably better spent in the basement, where the learning stations are. There aren't any cameras in there, probably because the show doesn't want to reveal the dirty underbelly of its Reality Dating Show sheen, but that's where the omegas can learn about plants and poisons, survival tactics, fighting and self-defence techniques. Killing techniques.

But this – hanging out and making snide comments about other contestants – makes for better TV than working out again, and after multiple seasons on the show, Wei Wuxian has most of the basics down better than anyone else. Plus, it's the only time the omegas get to observe the alpha contestants without having to interact with them, and he likes to see how they are in their natural environment.

The first introductions, later that same day, are like pre-gaming. Everyone's dressed up to the nines and holding a glass of champagne and pretending that this somehow makes them classy. They're all on their best behaviour but also watching, waiting, for the moment someone lets their guard down. Wei Wuxian sees it every year - someone who has just a bit too much champagne. Sometimes it's an omega, and the alphas start circling; sometimes it's an alpha and they start getting handsy. Sometimes it works out fine. Sometimes those handsy hands get broken. 

People get to various stages of inebriation quickly; unlimited expensive booze and tiny canapes as well as sexually charged tension and nervousness in the air will do that. There are already people making eyes at each other. Technically, this isn't even episode one yet, this is just the introductory meet and greet. Wei Wuxian makes a mental bet with himself as to who won't even last through episode one of Hot or Knot.

The omegas have been living together for about four weeks already to make their heat cycles sync up, so it's the first time they've been let out of their little villa compound (which, to be fair, does boast a swimming pool, hot tub, gym room and home cinema room) and been in mixed company, and it's the first time the alphas will have met any of the other contestants.

The sensible thing would be to not drink. But hey, where would be the fun in that? Wei Wuxian drinks like a fish. He'd hope that the other contestants have done their due diligence on him - if they'd watched previous seasons, or even read recaps and summaries on him, they'd know that he has an iron constitution and a steel bladder. He can tell those who haven't bothered to do their research - like this Su She guy, who keeps offering to top him up.

"Are you one of the staff?" asks Wei Wuxian meanly after the third time. He doesn't turn down the drink though. "I thought you were a contestant."

He goes red, stammers something. Wei Wuxian tilts his head to one side, and smiles brightly. It's fun when they try and get him drunk, and see how long it takes for them to realise that he's probably not going to get drunk. At least not before they do.

Wei Wuxian leaves Su She leaning against a table; he's staggering too much to walk in a straight line so he probably won't be able to try and fuck Wei Wuxian tonight. That's one down, at least.

"Are you all right?" asks someone. Lan Wangji, thinks Wei Wuxian as he flicks through his mental rolodex of contestant info. He's standing near the door, like he's been lurking just outside.

"I'm fine, thanks," says Wei Wuxian. "He's probably not though."

Lan Wangji's eyes flick between him and Su She. He looks Su She from top to bottom. "Hmm."

"Don't worry, the production staff will take care of him if he gets actual alcohol poisoning or anything like that," says Wei Wuxian airily. Or they might just leave him in a semi-coherent puddle next to the table. That probably makes for better TV. He spots Lan Wangji's glass – also a champagne flute, but not the same colour as his. "Oh? You're not drinking?"

Lan Wangji looks down at his glass. "I don't drink."

Oh. Well, Wei Wuxian has heard that there are people who don't drink, but he's not sure he's actually met one. 

"Wow. This must be awful for you if you're sober." He steps forward so that they're standing together, and peers into the other room, where the tables have been pushed back to make an impromptu dance floor. The rest of the contestants are a mix of rowdy drunk and horny drunk. There's at least one fight breaking out over who gets to make out with one of the omegas, and the chairs at the side of the room are already covered with abandoned high heels and ties and jackets.

"Hm," says Lan Wangji, somehow managing to convey a wealth of disapproval in such a tiny sound.

Wei Wuxian swings around to look at him properly, putting his back to all of the action as he scans him up and down. "You don't really seem like the type of guy who signs himself up for reality dating shows."

"Oh really?" asks Lan Wangji, so deadpan that even Wei Wuxian can't tell if he's stonewalling or trolling.

"You know the next six weeks are all going to be roughly like this?" asks Wei Wuxian, waving his hand behind him to encompass all of what 'this' meant.

"I am fast discovering."

Wei Wuxian tilts his head and squints at him. A real enigma, he's turning out to be. "Did you even watch this show before signing up?"

For the first time, there's the tiniest of cracks in the wall. The tiniest – barely even a hairline fracture. Lan Wangji doesn't so much sigh, as exhale with slightly more air than before. "I only watched last year's finale," he admits.

Wei Wuxian smacks his hand to his chest and clutches at his metaphorical pearls. "Oh my god. No."

See, the thing that makes Hot or Knot the most popular dating show to watch is that the first six weeks run like any run of the mill reality dating show. All the contestants are on some island, the omegas get a villa, the alphas get a different villa; during the daytime they have to interact, and there are challenges and tasks from the production team – sometimes decided via viewer voting – whereby contestants might win opportunities of extra snazzy dates or a night in the secluded Love Shack.

And then the finale is a two-week long livestreamed event timed to coincide with the omega heats, where all contestants still remaining at that point are kicked out of the villas into some secluded terrain and left to fend for themselves.

Relationships made during the first part of the show help during the finale, but it's a whole different ball game. Wei Wuxian has seen couples snuggled up promising love forever look each other in the eyes as one of them kills the other. More contestants die during the finale than the entire six weeks ahead of it.

Wei Wuxian isn't sure what would be worse – someone who'd arrived having only known about the first half of the show or someone who thought they whole thing was going to be like the finale. Having eyed Lan Wangji up and down a few times, he surmises that he might be quite good at the outdoor-survival shebang. Probably less good at the preening and flirting, even if he does look sharp in a suit.

"Good fucking luck," says Wei Wuxian emphatically. Lan Wangji acquiesces with a minute incline of his head.

Ω

Talking Head Interview – Wei Wuxian

"The closest that anyone got to knotting you was two seasons ago," says the host. 

Wei Wuxian nods; this comes up in interviews all the time, probably because it's the only time anyone has managed to get their dick in him. "Yep, it was a tactic on my part, although not one I'd rely on. I let him slip the tip in and that let me get close enough to snap his neck."

The rules say, very specifically, that the omega has to be knotted for it to count. Wei Wuxian is not the only one to have killed someone who was fucking them, but he's the only one who did it deliberately. 

"It's a pretty risky tactic," agrees the host. "What led you to make that decision?"

"I was pretty desperate," says Wei Wuxian. He remembers being hungry and angry and aching everywhere; it'd been on the final day of the finale and he didn't really have any interest in any of the alphas left in the competition, and he'd made a bad pathing decision which led him to being hemmed into a thick patch of forest. "I remember thinking that he was faster than me, so there was only so long I could outrun him even though I'm pretty confident in my stamina-" He waggles his eyebrows at the audience, "-so I needed something where I could try and surprise him up close, instead. I don't think he expected me to be any good at wrestling."

Everyone knows otherwise now, of course, which means that Wei Wuxian won't be able to do the same thing twice, but that's fine. He can keep thinking up new strategies.

Ω

Wei Wuxian doesn't get to go on nice dates anymore, which is the saddest part of being a repeat contestant. His first season and even some of his second season, he'd actually get picked by alphas to pair up and do couple challenges with. He knows he's easy on the eyes and has a certain kind of charisma that appeals to a specific type of alpha, so it had made sense. But then he'd slowly gained his reputation for having a bit of a mean streak and being a Career Omega, and people stopped seeing him as an actual potential romantic match. These days, he mostly gets overtures from people who've watched the previous seasons and thinks they can tame him or make him kneel or that sort of thing. People who see him as a challenge.

It's given him great TV exposure and a whole career off the back of it so he can't complain, but it is a bit rough that people are sidling up to Wen Qing with flowers and invites for walks along the beach already and Wei Wuxian just gets to sharpen his tongue against alpha banter.

It's probably why Lan Wangji is being nice to him; he hasn't seen Wei Wuxian's previous seasons. He holds Wei Wuxian's seat out for him at the long dinner table set just off the beach, and sits opposite. He offers him the white wine, pouring it for him in – correctly – the smaller of the wine glasses set out.

"Didn't you say you don't drink?" asks Wei Wuxian, fascinated.

Lan Wangji frowns slightly. "That's no reason not to know etiquette."

Wei Wuxian clinks his glass gently on Lan Wangji's water tumbler. "Well, thanks."

He takes one small sip, ignores the camera and cameraman that's lurking over his shoulder, and then proceeds to eat his food as fast as he can. And he's a speedy eater normally (childhood starvation trauma to blame for that one) so he probably looks like he's moving at three times speed. It might look rude, but there's a reason for this. Everyone else is still cutting into their salmon when there's the sound of wind chimes. They're meant to be a relaxing and melodious chime to match the beach vibe, but Wei Wuxian's heard it enough times on this show over the seasons that he's instantly on the alert. (And at least this trauma response is his own doing.)

As such, Wei Wuxian has managed to actually scarf his food down by the time the contestants receive their first challenge. The challenges always arrive at carefully designated inconvenient times on this show and so he has learnt never to linger on his food, his sleep, or his masturbation.

"Food is one of the many ways an alpha can care for their omegas," reads Meng Yao, who'd received the message card from the production staff by provenance of being sat in the middle of the table. "Historically this was literal, as alphas would provide food either by hunting-gathering or, later on, by working and financially providing. These days, this is symbolised by hand feeding, and there are many establishments which provide a traditional alpha-omega eating experience."

Wei Wuxian hasn't been to many of those, since they cater largely to people who are paired off, but they're common enough; restaurants where omegas sit on cushions or have seating on the floor as the alpha deals with all the ordering and cutting of food and then feeds the omega. He's always thought it sounded like a hassle. He eats so much food, every meal would take forever.

"Each alpha will choose an omega to handfeed. Each omega can be paired with a maximum of two alphas. If more than two alphas choose the same omega, the omega may choose between them or ask the alphas to demonstrate why they are most suitable in a manner of their picking." Meng Yao lowers the piece of paper.

Predictably, everyone immediately forgets the rules, and people start trying to make claims all over the place. Wei Wuxian sighs. "Welcome to the joys of filming," he murmurs out of the side of his mouth to Huaisang on the other side of him, who has cottoned on to the fact that 'dinner' is going to end up a mess of people jostling around for an hour, and then someone trying to shove food into his mouth for another half hour if he doesn't get it in him now, and has been eating hastily through Meng Yao's explanation.

There's a reason there are more alphas than omegas. Firstly, because the death rate for alphas is much higher - hardly any omega contestants have died on Hot Or Knot - but also because it's a resource scarcity issue. The conflict is automatically built in if alphas have to fight amongst themselves for omegas.

All the omegas line up for the alphas to inspect, and Wei Wuxian puts himself at the front of the line. Being at the end means there'll be more and more fights as the number of omegas dwindle. The alphas won't get kicked out if they're not paired up as part of a challenge, but it certainly lowers their chances of making an impression on both the omegas and the public if they don't get the chance to show themselves off. This way, he can get rejected early. Twenty squinty pairs of eyes look him over. He looks back.

"I choose Wei Wuxian," says Wen Chao, and squints extra hard.

There's a long pause, and Wei Wuxian can immediately see the problem for the alphas in this challenge - whether they try and pick the omega they want, or to go for someone they think other contestants won't pick so that there's less competition. He's one of the less popular choices, so they're contemplating him as a safe option. Several of them see him smile flatly at Wen Chao, and re-evaluate the likelihood of having their fingers bitten off.

"I also choose Wei Wuxian," says Lan Wangji eventually. Interesting. At least he's not the only one that Wen Chao is squinting at now.

Wei Wuxian stands in front of the two of them as they each place one hand on each of his shoulders 'for the claim shot' in front of the camera, and then they get to go shuffle to the side and watch the rest of the picks. Wei Wuxian could tune out at this point, but he likes to treat all the interactions like research on the alphas. Plus, it's entertaining. It's literally a front row seat to the most popular reality TV dating show in the world.

Wen Qing gets picked by four alphas – she's intelligent and beautiful and distantly enough related to Wen Chao that she's still wealthy but holds no power. A perfect omega pick. She decisively chooses two and walks off, making them jog to keep up with her. Wei Wuxian likes her attitude. Huaisang gets picked by three, and he bats a paper fan in front of his face as he takes a moment to deliberate, and then tells them that they need to decide between the three of them.

The ensuing wrestling match takes ten minutes. They crash into the table, sending half the food and all the glassware flying. The hunger from a delayed dinner is a production tactic to cause more conflict, Wei Wuxian recognises dimly as he starts hearing people's stomachs growling and patiences start to thin.

The sun has set by the time all the matches have been made; candles now flicker in the evening breeze. It takes another half hour for the crew to clear away their original dinner table and set it back out, this time with the chairs staggered so that all the omegas are sat on cushions between their two alphas. All the alphas not picked are relegated to a rickety fold out table in the corner of the patio with plain rice, unseasoned boiled vegetables and bottom shelf vodka to sulk out their loss. (There are four camera people dedicated solely to recording the inevitable drama that will come out of this group.)

Wen Chao and Lan Wangji could not be more different dinner companions. Wen Chao feeds himself first, hunking out great slices of steak, which would be offensive even if Wei Wuxian hadn't managed to eat most of his food earlier. He also somehow manages to talk non-stop about himself, words rolling around his mouth along with his teeth and his potatoes. He tells Wei Wuxian – and by extension Lan Wangji – all about Wen Corp and their recent M&A strategy, which mostly sounds like pressuring small local businesses to sell and then gutting them once they've been taken over.

When he finally remembers to feed Wei Wuxian, it's with a forkful of smushed potato dripping with gravy. He holds it out way too far away and Wei Wuxian has to kneel up to get to it. He feels like a dog, begging for scraps. Not sexy at all. (On the other hand, Wang Lingjiao has her hands up under her chin, begging coyly and giggling diagonally across the table from him towards her alphas, so clearly the dog thing works more for some people than others.)

Lan Wangji on the other hand eats in complete silence, and alternates between taking a bite of food and feeding Wei Wuxian a bite. He has, thankfully, opted for something relatively easy to handfeed: small pieces of crusty bread made up like bruschetta. He leans down to hold it all the way out for Wei Wuxian, his spare hand held out with a napkin to catch anything that falls.

So, Wei Wuxian knows that he flirts a lot just naturally, but he tries not to flirt with intent. He's not really here for that, and it's not fair on the people who are here looking to find a good match. But Lan Wangji's fingers graze against his lips and he automatically dips his tongue out to catch the food that falls, sliding the tip of his tongue across the tip of Lan Wangji's finger.

It's only because Lan Wangji is so silent that Wei Wuxian hears him, the slightest of inhales.

(Wen Chao does not notice, and tells the two of them that his brother has three omegas already.)

The next time, Lan Zhan reaches down with a piece of fruit, Wei Wuxian is prepared. Instead of delicately and politely taking the food from Lan Wangji's fingers, he closes his mouth over the whole slice of tangerine and slides his mouth off Lan Wangji's finger with tiny pop at the end, and then licks out with his tongue to dab the juice off off the tip.

When he looks down at Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian smiles lazily at him, slipping his tongue out to wet his lower lip. Lan Wangji's expression is hard to see in the darkness, only the occasional wavering streak of orange flame illuminating the side of his nose, the slant of his jaw. But that's all right, Wei Wuxian doesn't need to see his face to know. Lan Wangji's hands are shaking.

And then Wen Chao stabs his fork into the air next to Wei Wuxian's ear and half of the food slides off onto the ground with a wet splat. Wen Chao looks down for just long enough to scowls at him like it's his fault. The moment is broken.

"What a waste," says Wen Chao. He flings the fork onto the table, the scrape of metal against china sound jarring uncomfortably in Wen Wuxian's bones and reaches for the bread basket instead. He tears a bit off and holds it out to Wei Wuxian - and then he tries to physically stuff it into Wei Wuxian's mouth, shoving two fingers in along with the bread, unexpected enough that Wei Wuxian chokes on it. His fingers stretch at the side of Wei Wuxian's cheek and pulls his mouth over as he presses down on Wei Wuxian's tongue.

"That's better," Wen Chao says with satisfaction. "I knew you could put that mouth to good use." He pulls his fingers out and grabs another hunk of bread and does it again. The part of Wei Wuxian's brain that isn't dealing with choking says dimly that that doesn't even make sense. Wen Chao doesn't give him enough time to chew and swallow properly, so by the third time around, his mouth is filled with mushy bread as well as this guy's fingers.

God. It's not even sourdough.

Wei Wuxian's eyes are watering slightly as a bit of loose flour hits the back of his throat and triggers his gag reflex. He tries to cough around Wen Chao's fingers. He's already pulling back and away when Wen Chao goes for another hunk of bread when Lan Wangji's hand appears in his vision out of nowhere, intercepting Wen Chao's hand to cup around the side of Wei Wuxian's face and draw him to face Lan Wangji. His other hand is holding a glass of water with a straw in, and a napkin.

Wei Wuxian discreetly spits out his chipmunk cheeks of bread into the napkin and sips at the water gratefully. Oh, thank fuck, suffocating from bread in week one would have been the most embarrassing way to go on this show.

Now that he's not in immediate danger of dying, Wei Wuxian takes a moment to wonder what about that just now was meant to be sexy. He hopes it was the power trip and not the half-chewed bread.

Wen Chao is left holding a piece of torn bread in mid-air. "Hey, I was in the middle of something," he snaps at Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji doesn't even show any indication he hears Wen Chao. Damn, what a power move.

There's a single moment where Wei Wuxian thinks that Wen Chao is going to pick a fight with Lan Wangji – and judging from the way Wen Chao wavers, he's definitely considering it – but then he throws the bread onto the table instead.

"Fine, whatever. You're not worth it. You don't even know how to act like a proper omega," he says to Wei Wuxian and shifts his chair away so he can watch Wang Lingjiao instead.

Oh, wow, okay. That stings a bit. Wei Wuxian isn't even remotely interested in Wen Chao but still. Wen Chao had picked him, not the other way around. Everyone here knew what Wei Wuxian was like coming in.

Lan Wangji's hand tightens around his jaw for a moment, and Wei Wuxian swallows convulsively before it loosens.

"More wine?" asks Lan Wangji blandly.

"Fuck yeah," says Wei Wuxian.

Ω

WEEK 2

Wei Wuxian likes the contestants who are openly here for the money. He is too, after all. Three winning seasons have netted him a total of 1.5 million yuan, helpfully untaxed. The last two years, he's largely coupled up during the dating show portion of the programme with alphas who are also here for the money to avoid as much of the couples drama as possible in order to get through to the finale and get that sweet, sweet cash prize.

So, no one is more surprised than Wei Wuxian himself when Nie Mingjue asks if he would like to couple up. It's not that Mingjue would be a bad choice – in fact if Wei Wuxian were here to bag himself an alpha, he'd say that Nie Mingjue is a damn good choice. He's tall, muscular, accomplished and straightforward. He inherited the family's grass-to-table organic food supply business but unlike Wen Chao, he also manages and runs it on a day to day basis. It's just that –

"You haven't spoken two sentences to me since the start of the programme," says Wei Wuxian. (Another point in Nie Mingjue's favour is that he isn't going to get snippy with Wei Wuxian if he speaks to him so bluntly.)

"I watched your previous season performances," says Nie Mingjue. "I already knew you were a competent competitor. You have good survival instincts, athletic ability, and you're practical. All of these are positives in my opinion."

That's... huh. An interesting way of looking at it. Very flattering too. Not how Wei Wuxian would approach it, but he can't deny that it's a good strategy. If there's only limited time to talk to all of the contestants, he doesn't have to waste it on the ones he already has information on.

"But I barely know anything about you," says Wei Wuxian, and bats his eyes obnoxiously.

Nie Mingjue laughs, a boom of a sound. "I've heard about how much time you spend with my brother."

Oh, well, that's true too. He's actually heard a dozen anecdotes about Nie Mingjue by now. "He also told me you were just here to keep an eye on him."

Nie Mingjue shrugs. "Yes. But no one joins a competition with the intention of losing."

Wei Wuxian finds himself liking the man more and more as they speak. Not romantically, but there's something refreshingly forthright about him, even though he and Huaisang are so different.

Another advantage of being a repeat contestant is that he knows the crew now. Most of the other contestants haven't bothered to speak to the crew for anything more complicated than hi, bye, thanks, are you fucking kidding me that's the challenge? But they're just people trying to do their jobs too, even if their jobs involved voyeuring both Wei Wuxian's life and asshole at an uncomfortably close distance.

He sits with them when they're having their breaks, and provides witty commentary on the other contestants. He says goodnight when they head back to their own crew accommodations, and good morning first thing in the morning and brings them the swanky coffee that contestants get in the villa when they set up. He knows that the Production Assistant is moving in with her girlfriend, and that the Second Cameraman is having a baby soon. He knows that the intern is the Producer's cousin's kid and definitely only here because of nepotism.

And most importantly, he hears little whispers of what challenges are coming up next.

"I heard on the grapevine that the fake baby challenge is coming up soon," he tells Nie Mingjue.

Mingjue nods, satisfied. "Good, I liked how you handled the last two seasons'."

"Not the last three?"

A raised eyebrow. "You swung the fake baby around so hard the arm popped off."

"Oh yeah. You have a point. You really did watch all my previous seasons, huh."

Wei Wuxian thinks that Nie Mingjue would be a pretty decent choice for the fake baby challenge too. From the sounds of it, he practically raised Huaisang after all, and he turned out okay.

"I wish they'd come up with a new challenge though," says Wei Wuxian. "I know it's a fan favourite or whatever but having to do it every year just gets repetitive after a while."

"You want the production team to come up with a twist?"

Wei Wuxian thinks about it. "Okay, no, you're right. I'll stick with the evil I know in this case. There are so many ways the fake baby challenge could be worse each year."

They announce their coupledom just in time for the fake baby challenge to roll around – they're awoken the very next morning by the sound of twenty crying infant toys instead of the customary wind chimes.

"Oh, shit," says Huaisang, who had just 'broken up' with his latest couples partner the previous night. "I didn't think fake baby was going to be so soon, it was week five last year."

"What happens when you're not coupled up for a couples challenge?" asks Mo Xuanyu as they drift down the stairs still wiping the sleep from their eyes. Wei Wuxian can barely hear him over the screaming toys.

"Depends. Sometimes alphas have to share omegas, sometimes they have to do it with the other unpaired alphas, and sometimes you just have to do it by yourself. For the fake baby challenge, usually you have to be a single parent for it. Sometimes there's an opportunity to pair up with an unpaired alpha."

There is a possibility that an omega ends up uncoupled for a challenge – like Huaisang accidentally now – but given the doubled ratio of alphas to omegas, it's usually the alphas struggling to find a couple. Wei Wuxian likes it when they have to pair up with each other; the drama over which of them has to 'play the omega' part is delicious. Mo Xuanyu is safe though, currently coupled up with Wen Ning. The choices are more limited when he's related to more than one other contestants. There's way too many familial relationships floating around this year, Wei Wuxian is really having to keep up with all the possible-incest moments.

When they're all assembled in their pairs – and Wei Wuxian is not a short man but wow, Mingjue really dwarfs him – the producer hands Meng Yao the latest challenge card.

"If you've watched previous seasons, you'll know the fake baby challenge. This year, we're introducing a twist," says Meng Yao.

"Oh, shit," says Wei Wuxian. "I shoulda kept my mouth shut."

Nie Mingjue huffs a soft laugh behind him.

Meng Yao continues. His face is pleasantly blank, which Wei Wuxian has figured out by now means that he's reading ahead of what he's saying out loud and it's going to be particularly terrible. "Of course, having a baby is an important milestone in any relationship, but we would be remiss not to acknowledge that the arduous journey to parenthood starts long before that."

All of a sudden, all the crying from the babies stop at once, cut out mid-wail like someone just suffocated twenty live children on air. Okay, not terrifying at all.

The door opens, and a crew member walks in wheeling a trolley, stacked high with... lumps? It takes Wei Wuxian a hot second to realise they're strap-on bellies. "Oh fuck," he says.

"Welcome," says Meng Yao. "To the fake pregnancy challenge."

Ω

Wei Wuxian looks down at his new extended belly under his t-shirt; he'd brought t-shirts a size small to this programme already, knowing they'd show off his shoulders, so it feels extra tight now. He's sure that the average baby bump is smaller than this, but the programme is probably using the biggest ones they could find so that it's extra obvious. "I better be having the most enormous baby after this," he grouses as Nie Mingjue helps him adjust the straps at his back.

The fake pregnancy challenge involves the omega having to do everything with the baby bump on, and the alphas trying to be the best mating provider for each of them. Mingjue's already knocking it out of the park by the very providence of not laughing his face off at Wei Wuxian wobbling around with his belly on him.

"This totally ruins your figure," says Wen Chao critically across the room to Wang Lingjiao, which, oof. It doesn't help that everything she'd brought with her is a cropped top, so her belly looks even more like it's bulging out of her clothes.

"Well this is terrible and the worst," says Huaisang so cheerfully he's probably plotting murder in his head.

 The omegas are packed off to the beach for the morning so the alphas can get them all set up, and even that short walk has Wei Wuxian panting. For Huaisang, who is half a foot shorter and despises cardio of all forms, the belly must feel even bigger.

"It's going to ruin all of my tan lines," agrees Mo Xuanyu, who only wears full length sleeves and skinny jeans in black all the time anyway, which sets Wei Wuxian into a laughing fit. God, that boy is a treasure. He's as meek as a mouse most of the time but every so often he says something that shows the sharpness of mind underneath.

"Oh, okay, laughing is hard," says Wei Wuxian as the extra weight bounces off his shoulders.

"Everything is hard except my dick," says Huaisang, which sets them all off again.

It's sort of boring – on most of the beach trips, Wei Wuxian spends his time swimming or watching the alphas trying to judge which of them will drown nicely in the finale or, to be honest, just showing off his figure. But none of them are in the water now, all of them lying in the chairs splayed like beached whales.

And then the baby bumps move.

"Oh my God," gasps Wei Wuxian as the baby kicks him just below the stomach. From the way the rest of the omegas are suddenly leaning over or clutching at their baby bumps, the electronic motion had just started for all of them.

"No, I was wrong," says Huaisang, lying flat and squinting up at the sky. He looks like a dying starfish. "This is terrible and the worst."

It's not that bad once he gets used to it, Wei Wuxian privately thinks, but he's not going to voice that out loud. Especially not when every so often one of the kicks nail him in the kidney. But he can see how something like this might be useful for a sex ed class, or an expecting parents' demonstration. Having kids isn't high on his list of priorities – not as a Career Omega – but who hasn't thought wistfully once or twice about settling down with a nice alpha and a small brood of children once he's too old to be winning survival programmes?

They stay on the beach for long enough to get hungry. Oh yeah, that's right – they never got breakfast this morning. That doesn't bode well; there's always something up if they're not being fed at normal hours.

"How do you do that all the time?" asks Huaisang after another half hour they spend sweating uncomfortably in the sun as he waves vaguely at Mo Xuanyu.

"Do what?"

"Long sleeves, long jeans. We're on a tropical island, I'd be sweating profusely even with no clothes on at all." Huaisang is feebly flapping at himself with a paper fan. He does look distinctly more red than before. Even Wei Wuxian is getting to the point where he's hot and hangry and it's being made worse by the fact that every time he moves, sand is sticking to his sweaty skin.

"Oh. It's actually for the scars," says Mo Xuanyu apologetically.

There's a silence for a moment.

"Sorry," says Huaisang eventually.

Mo Xuanyu shrugs. "We live together. I'm kinda surprised no one's managed to see them so far."

"You have to be pretty comfortable revealing a lot of yourself on this programme," says Wei Wuxian, staring out at the sea. He doesn't talk about it often – and who would he talk about it with anyway? – but he does often wonder what makes someone sign up for Hot Or Knot knowing what the finale is. There are so many easier, better, less intrusive ways of finding love. Or fame. He wonders especially what it says about someone who would willingly sign up more than once.

"Especially your asshole," says Mo Xuanyu, and that breaks the tension.

"Yeah. Yeah," says Wei Wuxian through his laughter. "Xuanyu, I really hope you make it to the finale."

Mo Xuanyu blinks at him. "Er. Thanks? You too."

It's fine if Mo Xuanyu doesn't realise how sincere he's being. Huaisang does, if the slight curious squint from beneath his fan is anything to go by, but he doesn't say anything.

"Let's go for a splash. I'm getting so hot I think I'm getting actual baby brain," says Wei Wuxian.

When they're allowed back to the villas, there are little camps set out on the patio, each with an alpha stood next to theirs.

Wei Wuxian can see nests of blankets and pillows – anything soft that could be picked up. He looks across the way towards the alpha villa. It looks like the villa has been raided for anything that was portable enough. There's an abandoned mattress stuck diagonally in the doorway, so maybe it was a timed challenge or something like that. Some are distinctly better nests than others, and there's some signs of damage on the contestants too – some scratch marks down someone's arm, mussed hair, a black eye. Wei Wuxian is looking forward to watching the cut where the editing inevitably switches back and forth between the shots of the omegas relaxing in the sun doing fuck all while the alphas apparently had some sort of tussle.

"No," Huaisang revises his earlier opinion. "This is now definitely terrible and the worst." As a single soon-to-be parent, he doesn't have a partner with a nest.

When Wei Wuxian gets to Mingjue, his definitely rates as one of the better nests. It's arranged into a comfortable little huddle of a circle, with what looks like a separate yoga mat and pillow for himself next to it.

"Wow, who did you have to fight for all of this? You sure know how to treat a boy," remarks Wei Wuxian as he waddles up and admires it.

Mingjue grunts, although he does look pleased. "Huaisang and I were on our own growing up so I took him through his first heats. He always wanted a blanket fort."

"That’s fucking adorable," says Wei Wuxian, admiring the structural integrity of the little covering Nie Mingjue has draped across the nook he's picked for them. It's like a little tent and everything.

It's too hot to actually need the blankets, but they're comfortable to lie on after a morning on the deck chairs. As comfortable as deck chairs are usually... well, there just isn't enough lumbar support for the extra weight Wei Wuxian is carrying now.

"What is Huaisang doing?" mutters Mingjue as he absently stuffs another pillow under Wei Wuxian's head. Wei Wuxian looks up to see Huaisang leisurely walking around the various nests, eyeing them over the top of his sunglasses and occasionally rubbing his belly bump.

"Oh, he uncoupled with his pair last night, so he's a tragically newly single parent. He's probably trawling the unpaired alphas for one of them to take him in."

 They both watch as Huaisang nudges the edge of a nest with one toe and then sniffs, and carries on.

"Not enough of a blanket fort," mutters Mingjue absently.

"He'll be fine, there's so many unmatched alphas he can just pick whoever he likes."

The wind chimes tinkle gently, and with it comes an accompanying chorus of groans.

"Already? You barely just finished a challenge." Wei Wuxian props himself up on his elbows. Fake pregnancy challenge is proving so much more intense than fake baby challenge so far.

"Another important part of being a good alpha is being able to provide food for your omega and growing baby. For the next day, you will have to find, prepare and cook whatever food is available here for you and your omega. You will be allowed - expected, even! - to venture outside of the normal villa grounds that you have access to for the rest of the island. Remember, if you aren't a good provider, your omega just might choose to leave you and pick a more suitable alpha!" Meng Yao waves a hand at the row of available alphas, most of whom take the opportunity to flex their muscles. Wei Wuxian is aware that Meng Yao is just reading out the script written by someone else, but he sounds so cheerful that Wei Wuxian wants to garrotte him.

They didn't even get breakfast before this challenge and only now, when it's already past noon, are they being told that they have to go find their own food? What absolute fuckery is this. Oh. Maybe this is nothing to do with Meng Yao. Wei Wuxian's just hangry.

"I wish I could tell you not to worry, I don't eat much, but actually I eat a lot and I'm already starving," says Wei Wuxian with a sigh.

"I'll head out now. I assume there must be something, or they wouldn't set this challenge," says Nie Mingjue, already tying up a couple of t-shirts to make make-shift bags or something. Other alphas are making similar sorts of preparations, uneasily eyeing the others to see where they're going to head off to first.

"There's fish in the sea too," says Wei Wuxian. "Small, but if you could manage a net and get a bunch?"

"Good shout." Mingjue smacks his hand in a high-five so hard it leaves Wei Wuxian's hand smarting, and heads off out of the villa compound.

This challenge is interesting. A couple of the alphas haven't bothered to set out – maybe they think they can just steal something off the ones who return or maybe they didn't bother upskilling their foraging abilities or whatever – but once most of them are gone, the omegas cluster up to compare nests.

"I've got six tiny throw cushions and not a single big thing to lie on," says Wen Qing with a scowl.

"Why," says Wei Wuxian more for something to say rather than because he cares.

She looks him dead in the eye. "Because they're pink and sparkly and he said he thought I would like that they were pretty."

Wei Wuxian shudders for real. "Oh, god. Please tell me you're going to pick another nest. That's not even practical, sleeping on glitter and sequins is so uncomfortable."

"Six. Throw. Cushions," she repeats murderously.

"I'm thinking about picking Jiang Cheng's," says Huaisang. "He's probably got the best nest out of the unmatched alphas, but he's just so... grumpy."

"If you don't, I might," says Wen Qing. "I don't care if he's grumpy, we don't have to actually talk."

"Whose is this one?" asks Wei Wuxian, as they walk down the rows, trying to match nests with personalities.

A couple of the uncoupled up alphas have clearly not bothered at all, just making a bedroll of some sort for themselves, which is reasonable if they didn't want to get involved in the squabbles between those trying to make actual nests, but Wei Wuxian knows that sort of behaviour doesn't go down well for the fans and viewers at home who get to vote someone out each week; they like people to take on the challenges even if it's clear they're not going to win.

On the other hand, there's one that's looks like a... well, more like a lasagne than a nest; layers of fabric all tucked up and folded into a neat rectangular shape, under the shade of the building.

"Lan Wangji's," says Huaisang.

"Well, that doesn't look too bad. There's loads of stuff in there. I see duvets, throws, towels, and pillows. That's a good loot, what else could you ask for?" he asks. ("Pillow fort," mutters Mingjue's voice in his head.)

"Too neat," says Huaisang with a shudder. "That's a nest made by someone who'll get mad if you mess it up. Besides. You didn't notice?"

"What?"

Huaisang indicates around the nest. "He didn't make a separate place for him. So either he's joining you in the nest or, what, he sleeps on the paved ground?"

Oh. That's true, he hadn't noticed that, even though Mingjue had obviously made his own mattress. "Maybe he just stands guard over you all night like a good protective alpha," he jokes instead, and Huaisang hisses in horror.

Ω

Nie Mingjue is not the first back, nor the second. Wei Wuxian isn't worried about him, not in the traditional sense, but he is absolutely starving.

Wei Wuxian is lying on his back by the time Mingjue gets back, trying to ignore the little fake baby punches into his kidneys, and wallowing. Every inch of his torso that is under the fake baby bump is sweating, to the point where he can slide a hand in between the back of the bump and his stomach and it comes out damp. Gross.

Most of the omegas are doing something similar.

"Oh damn," someone further down says, and Wei Wuxian leans up on his elbows to see what the commotion is.

It is, apparently, Nie Mingjue, shirtless. Why is he shirtless? Even Wei Wuxian is momentarily distracted by the sight of those washboard abs.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," says Mingjue, his hulking body blocking almost all of the sky in Wei Wuxian's vision. "Good tip about the fish."

He sits with his spoils – one t-shirt bag is largely filled with fruit, and the other with dozens of little slippery fish still twitching. At least, they're not being made to do up a fire from scratch as well, which would take even longer; the crew procure a little propane gas stove and utensils and Mingjue fills the pan with little fish before telling Wei Wuxian, "Wait here."

"Where else am I meant to wait?" asks Wei Wuxian outside, already three peaches in. He's glad there's something savoury because even though he could, having a whole lunch made up of only fruit would make him so sad.

Mingjue snorts at him, and says, "Turn the fish when they're done on this side."

"Can't believe you're making your poor preggers omega do the work," Wei Wuxian grouses, but with no real heat. It's not like he's going to let the fish burn, after all.

It finally becomes evident why Mingjue's shirtless when he finally returns, his own shirt twisted around something that he's dragging behind him.

"Is that – is that a wild boar?" asks Wei Wuxian incredulously when he gets close enough.

"I don't know if it was wild or not, but it is a boar, yes," says Mingjue, unwrapping his shirt – which is stained and completely ruined, so props to him for only using Wei Wuxian's t-shirts for fruit. "And for the record, A-Zhan deserves half the credit for felling this fellow."

"A-Zhan?"

"Oh. Wangji. Lan Wangji. I've known him too long to remember this stage name thing," Mingjue waves that away, as he moves the boar downwind of Wei Wuxian.

Huh, that hadn't been the person that Wei Wuxian would have expected to be Mingjue's partner for this. "Shouldn't he get half then? Even if he doesn't need to feed an omega?"

"He's vegetarian. I gave him more of the fruit and nuts instead."

Oh, yeah. He knew that, he'd just forgotten for a moment.

"Are you squeamish?" asks Mingjue.

"If you mean for the boar? No, go ahead." Wei Wuxian proceeds to watch in fascination, occasionally spearing a tiny fish on a fork for Mingjue to crunch through as Mingjue expertly guts and cleans out the carcass, slicing the meat up deftly. It's not until he's a quarter of the way through that Wei Wuxian realises that he's doing it particularly efficiently, much like he's tackled this entire task. He'd brought out the things that required no prep to eat, and then added the fish that were quick to cook, and now he's sliced up long strips of meat for easy frying and leaving the rest of the meat for later.

"Hot damn," says Wei Wuxian when he's presented with a glazed pork dish with a tart apple sauce from the fruit t-shirt paired alongside it. He ignores all of the other contestants looking over with raging jealousy.

Mingjue grunts, but looks pleased enough with himself.

"Not to be irreverent about whatever we've got going on between us, but what're you looking for in an omega?" asks Wei Wuxian. "If you don't mind."

To his credit, Mingjue seems to take it seriously. "Intelligent, level-headed. Solutions focussed."

"'Solutions focussed'? You sound like you're hiring a new employee."

"Alright then. Practical," says Mingjue, but he's smiling anyway.

"These are all things I am," says Wei Wuxian.

"Yes. That's why I suggested we partner up, to try it."

That makes sense. And Mingjue has lots of things that Wei Wuxian appreciates too. He's confident and sure of himself; he's thoughtful and straightforward. He has shoulders like a truck, and abs that Wei Wuxian could rub himself off hands-free on.

"There's no spark, is there?" asks Wei Wuxian ruefully.

"No," says Mingjue amicably.

That's a shame. They could have been a real power couple. He thinks through the other omegas he's seen Mingjue with, and says, "You should consider Mo Xuanyu. He might surprise you."

Ω

WEEK 3

A gong sounds. Well, that's new. Wei Wuxian looks up from where he's sorting out his laundry to peer out of the window. Yeah, it's definitely a gong.

Xuanyu, who had the misfortune of standing next to the thing when it was rung in the courtyard, is clutching at his head.

"Is that a new challenge?" asks Wen Qing. She's also in the laundry room, and quickly shoves the rest of the basket into the machine to get the cycle running before they're inevitably hauled off for half a day to do something. Wei Wuxian does the same. It seems mundane, but getting the time to do laundry in this place is difficult, and acerbated by the fact that they're all hitting pre-heat and prone to leaking at inopportune times.

The gong sounds again.

"Oh my god, alright! We're coming," he yells, and darts out after Wen Qing as the rest of the contestants gather in the courtyard.

Meng Yao moves up to the front, and accepts the cue card from the production staff. "This year, we've decided to spice up the proceedings with a bonus challenge. Or two."

"Is this not spicy enough?" mutters Wen Qing. She almost ended up having to couple up with her own brother for the last challenge after the rest of the contestants paired up. Only Lan Wangji, at the last moment, quickly conferring with Wen Ning and swapping around to couple up with her instead, saved it.

"The bonus challenge is not compulsory. You may opt out of this if you wish. The rules of the challenge will be revealed after you have decided whether to opt in or out, and you cannot change your mind about participation afterwards," says Meng Yao, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. Stepping slightly out of shot, he flips through to cue cards as if to see if they're written down for him here. They're not, from the way he shrugs apologetically at everyone.

"As this isn't an official challenge, we're switching this up to be in two teams, omegas versus alphas. Members of the winning team will all receive a cash prize of 10 thousand yuan, and you may also make one request of another contestant, within reason."

Wei Wuxian hums. "That means it's gonna be awful," he says, and Wen Qing agrees. A murmur runs around the crowd left as the other contestants similarly all take a moment to discuss.

"I bet it's gonna involve feet," says Wen Chao.

"I think food," says Jin Zixuan.

"We did food for the first challenge," Jiang Cheng reminds him.

Almost naturally, they resolve themselves into two groups - those who want to participate and those who do not. Almost everyone who is here in the hopes of actually making a career out of being an influencer or celebrity or whatever are in the participating group, including Wei Wuxian. Why else is he here apart from to make great TV? There's nothing that can embarrass him anymore after being on here for four seasons.

A lot of the people who are here trying to find True Love have (sensibly) opted out. Both the Lan brothers have respectfully stepped back, along with the a few other contestants who probably just want a goddamn break.

"You should join," Wei Wuxian says to Lan Wangji, waving him over.

"It is optional," says Lan Wangji, which is fair enough given he didn't want to participate in three-quarters of this show to begin with.

"You get a prize if you win though!"

"It's alphas versus omegas," Lan Wangji points out. "If you're encouraging me to participate, then only one of us will win."

"Something to look forward to if I lose then," says Wei Wuxian. "Since we don't know what it is yet, it could really go either way. And, more importantly, also up for grabs is the chance to request something of another contestant." He waggles his eyebrows.

Lan Wangji pauses there. "Within reason."

"Sure. And I get that you know, you're not really the type to ask someone for a kiss or a date, but," says Wei Wuxian, and then lowers his voice as he steps closer to Lan Wangji, "but you could ask Su She to stop masturbating in your bed."

Lan Wangji looks at him, and the shock on his face is evident. "I beg your pardon?"

"Just saying," says Wei Wuxian. Actually, it was the crew again that tipped him off to this particularly juicy piece of gossip. He's been waiting for the right time to drop it. He'd camped out with them in their trailer after dinner a couple of days ago. Sometimes, the crew forget that the contestants are all isolated from their phones and the outside world, and he picks up tidbits from them about what's happening in the world so that he doesn't emerge completely unprepared from a time capsule two months later.

One of their corner room cameras had picked it up on the feed, and Wei Wuxian hadn't mentioned anything, but one of the interns saw him looking and told him unprompted that it's happened four times now.

"Is that true?" Lan Xichen leans in, close enough to have heard. He looks similarly appalled. "Wangji - I did walk past and saw that your bed was unmade, but I thought – perhaps you had been unwell.  I didn't think that something like that would have happened."

"You... make your bed?" The revelation that Lan Wangji apparently makes his bed on a regular enough basis, even on a reality TV show, that his brother would comment on it being unmade is somehow very endearing.

"Always," says Lan Wangji, looking vaguely nauseated. Hm, maybe Wei Wuxian should have broken it to him a little more gently. Possibly could have given a 'hey, a heads-up, are you in the mood to receive some possibly disturbing news?' sort of cushion first. "Are you certain? This is a... distressing accusation."

Wei Wuxian flicks his glance around to see if anyone is currently watching them, but the discussion is still happening. He puts a hand over the mic clipped to his t-shirt, and Lan Wangji quickly does the same. "Saw it with my own two eyes. Not from your dorm, I haven't been in the villa, but I saw the feed."

Lan Wangji looks at him suspiciously, which is fair, Wei Wuxian would too. But he looks like he's thinking back, examining his memories for any evidence that corroborates this story, and Wei Wuxian nods with some satisfaction as it looks like some pieces are falling into place.

 He uncovers his mic. "Ge, I'll join the bonus challenge."

Lan Xichen looks at him with some consternation. "You could make this request whether you win or not. Discreetly."

That's a good point. Wei Wuxian links his arm through Lan Wangji's, and pulls him towards the other group. "But Xichen-ge, where would the drama be in that?"

In all honesty, Wei Wuxian hadn't thought that would work. He just had something to try and goad Lan Wangji into participating – he would have told Lan Wangji at some point regardless, this was just a good excuse. And he certainly wouldn't have thought Lan Wangji would go along with it, especially since Xichen-ge is right. The sensible, adult thing to do in this situation would to bring it up discreetly in a one-on-one situation.

It's delightful to learn that Lan Wangji might have a petty side.

After they split into separate alpha and omega huddles at opposite ends of the courtyard, they're given the rest of the rules. As expected, they're terrible.

They're each given a pearl - presumably fake - and told that it's a game of hide and seek. Each omega hides their pearl somewhere on their body, and the alphas are timed as to how quickly they can find it. If the average time for each omega is longer than thirty seconds, the omegas win; if shorter, the alphas win.

"Okay, can you please clarify 'somewhere on your body'?" asks Huaisang, gesturing vaguely at, well, all of them. In this weather, most of them are dressed in some variation of shorts and t-shirt, or less. Wei Wuxian himself is in a pair of speedos and a t-shirt, because he was in the middle of doing his fucking laundry. He doesn't even have pockets. Huaisang was presumably sunbathing, and is in a thong.

"Wherever you like," says the director.

"Thirty seconds feels like a really long time for what is essentially a strip search," adds Wen Qing.

"They are going to be blindfolded."

They all let this sink in.

"So really, this is a blind fingering challenge," says Wei Wuxian eventually.

The director blinks, like this could not have possibly occurred to him at all. "Only if you want."

"Well, I'll go first," says Wang Lingjiao with a little giggle, and promptly slides her hand down the back of her bikini and presses it into her ass.

There's another long moment of silence before Mo Xuanyu asks, "Wait, why the ass? Why not the front?"

"Because that's the obvious place," she says, rolling her eyes. "We're trying to make the alphas take longer, remember?"

Wei Wuxian hates that she's actually making a valid point. She's mean and cutting and doesn't hide her distain for Mo Xuanyu, but... yeah, she's right. "Okay, well. We can't all stick it in the ass. That's going to get predictable after a while."

"You have three minutes to hide your pearl," the director informs them, and goes off to the other group.

"Any other ideas?" asks Huaisang, looking down at himself.

"None for you," says Wen Qing, who's swiftly braiding a little basket hidden into the middle of her hair. Damn, that's a good one.

"Maybe if I just stick it up really far," muses Huaisang. Someone else is trying to see if they can put it up their nostril without it rolling back out again.

Xuanyu probably has the best chance out of all of them - he finds a bit of his cuff where he's chewed a thumb hole into his hoodie, and pops it into the lining. "Literally the only benefit so far of always being covered up," he says, holding it up with satisfaction.

"It's probably too big for sounding, right?" Wei Ying sighs, and sticks his into his mouth, under his tongue. If they're blindfolded, he might stand a chance of rolling it around before they find it.

Huaisang shudders, and very carefully balances his inside one ear. "Okay, here's hoping it doesn't roll in and get stuck and give me permanent hearing damage."

"No sudden movements," Wei Wuxian agrees as they line up for the alphas. They've all been blindfolded in advance, walking along with one hand on the shoulder in front of them. There are, as usual, more alphas than omegas, and the omegas will get to pick which person they want to frisk them, which - thank fuck for small mercies.

Wang Lingjiao picks Wen Chao - unsurprising, since she's gunning to win big with someone rich. Wei Wuxian watches for the first maybe five seconds as he makes a precursory pat down from the head. "Who's this? Who's this little nose? Oh, these tits feel familiar. Oh, maybe - is this Wen Qing?"

Wang Lingjiao squeals in indignation (and next to him, Wen Qing recoils in absolute disgust).

"I'm kidding, it must be my Lingling," says Wen Chao as he skirts the edge of her bikini bottoms, and then sinks two fingers into her pussy. "Hmm, I can't feel it yet."

That's when Wei Wuxian and, presumably, everyone else nopes out and looks away. The wet noises and Wang Lingjiao giggling are enough. Even the other alphas, blindfolded and with no clue as to what's going on apart from the bodily noises as no one comments on what's happening, look vaguely nauseated.

"Are we sure it's not in here. Let me just check on more time, maybe it's deeper than I thought. Oh, maybe it's hiding. I'll just check again," Wen Chao says dramatically as he continues. He does move on, eventually, with much more ado and moaning as Wei Wuxian looks studiously away.

"Found it!" He says triumphantly after way too long, like he's actually discovered some hidden treasure or something.

"Time, twenty-eight seconds," says the director faintly, like even he wasn't expecting such a blatant show of fingering right in front of them. Naive.

"Oh, cutting it close! Well done, me," says Wen Chao unrepentantly as Wang Lingjiao swoons on him.

Wei Wuxian catches the eye of his friends, and can instantly tell what they're all thinking: this is one challenge they're all perfectly happy to lose, to get over with as quickly as possible.

Wen Qing picks Jiang Cheng, and he goes over thirty seconds, getting redder and redder the longer it takes him and he can't find it woven into her hair. On the other hand, he only does a very quick, cursory finger in her vagina, which they will probably all call a win.

"This show really skews your perception of normal human interactions, huh," says Wei Wuxian as they watch another few contestants. Mo Xuanyu nods fervently.

When it comes time to choose, Wei Wuxian points at Lan Wangji, who steps forward. He places his hand, which is very large, on Wei Wuxian's cheek, and his brow furrows. "Wei Wuxian?"

Wei Wuxian raises his eyebrows before he can help himself. Lan Wangji recognised him just from a touch of his cheekbones? Or maybe it was his height? He's the tallest omega of the bunch here. Either way, it's very perceptive.

It's with light pats that Lan Wangji methodically pats Wei Wuxian down, starting from his crown and running his fingers down his hair and then skimming down his back to cup his ass. There, his hands falter, and Wei Wuxian feels his ass tense in anticipation, and Lan Wangji's hands clutch him a little automatically and then immediately let go.

He moves swiftly back up to Wei Wuxian's face, checking his ears, pressing very lightly on his nostrils, and then resting with his thumb on Wei Wuxian's bottom lip, waiting for Wei Wuxian to open his mouth. Wei Wuxian tucks the pearl under his tongue, and opens up. Lan Wangji pats around in there like a doctor checking, and hesitates when he presses down on Wei Wuxian's tongue, a little fumbling before he finds the pearl.

"Twenty seconds," the director declares, pleased.

Lan Wangji pulls the blindfold off, still holding the pearl between two fingers. Wei Wuxian shrugs at him, not sure if he's disappointed or not that Lan Wangji didn't try and stick a finger up his ass. "Congrats?"

"Thank you," says Lan Wangji in much the same tone of someone who doesn't know whether this accomplishment quite deserves a congratulations. He looks around, presumably for somewhere to put the pearl and/or wipe his hand off. No one has thought of that, apparently. Jiang Cheng shakes his head minutely in a sympathetic grimace.

Wei Wuxian pulls his t-shirt off when they step to the side, ready for Xuanyu's turn. "Here."

"No need," says Lan Wangji, still holding his hand out at a ninety-degree angle like his hand is contaminated.

"Seriously, please. I can't just let you walk around with my saliva all over your hand. Besides, it's laundry day." He doesn't mention that his laundry is already in the washing machine and therefore this won't get washed until the next load.

Lan Wangji takes it reluctantly. "Thank you."

"Fuck, can I also borrow that?" asks Jiang Cheng. "No offense, Wen Qing."

"None taken," she says dryly.

Somehow, Wei Wuxian's t-shirt ends up the one everyone wipes off on, which. Hm. He might just burn it instead.

Mo Xuanyu's takes ages, predictably, his pearl lost somewhere in the depths of his lining. Even when Su She finds it, it takes forever for him to find a hole from which to extract it. Just his round alone is probably going to net them the win.

"If you pick Wen Ning and leave me with my brother," says Huaisang quietly but seriously to Meng Yao who's up next, "I will murder you in your sleep."

Meng Yao wisely picks Nie Mingjue, leaving Huaisang with Wen Ning.

"And that is it for the bonus challenge!" declares the director at the end, like it hasn't just been the longest half hour of incredibly dubiously consensual fingering of their lives. Wei Wuxian feels emotionally fingered, if not physically. "And the winner, with two contestants over thirty seconds versus four under, is the alpha team!"

There's silence.

"Okay, that is not how an average of their time works," says Huaisang eventually. Everyone knows that the alphas' average time was well over thirty seconds, given that Mo Xuanyu's round alone took almost six minutes.

"It's an average," says the director, waving the dissent away. "Alphas, congratulations! You will receive your cash prize at the end of the show or when you get eliminated, whichever comes sooner. Think about your requests for another contestant, and we will announce them before dinner."

Wen Ning silently passes Wei Wuxian's stained t-shirt back to him, the shirt having made the rounds of everyone wiping their hands by now. It kind of looks like what everyone feels like right now.

Wei Wuxian holds it out away from him, pinching the hem. "I cannot believe I just got tricked into playing a rigged game. Fucking hell."

He's not mad he lost – there had always been a chance of that – he's just mad he got duped.

Ω

Dinner that night is formal, which means tuxes and cocktail dresses. There are fancy lanterns and fairy lights strung up and a vast amount of wine, which means that the production staff are definitely expecting shenanigans tonight.

Jiang Cheng steps down from the stage after requesting that Wen Qing take a walk on the beach with him during the next round of dates. She looks slightly surprised at that, but nods anyway. There's a bunch of roses, and each alpha has to take one singular rose and present it to the person they make a request of. Jiang Cheng looks immensely embarrassed at how over the top this is.

Wei Wuxian internally claps his hands with glee as Lan Wangji is the next to step up. Jiang Cheng is going to forget his embarrassment so quickly with this little distraction.

"Good evening, welcome to the stage: Lan Wangji." (The stage is literally just a long box.) "Please, tell us who your request is for tonight."

Lan Wangji clears his throat, and adjusts his cufflinks. "Su She."

There's a tangible note of surprise in the director's silence. "Su She is another alpha contestant."

"Yes," Lan Wangji confirms. "There was no indication in the rules that the request had to be of the other presentation."

"Yes, that's true. Very well," acquiesces the director, slowly handing Lan Wangji the long stemmed rose as he has done with all the others, although not without a note of confusion. "Su She, please step forward."

Su She looks surprised too, when Wei Wuxian cranes around to see him. Good.

"Please, go ahead and tell us your request for Su She."

Lan Wangji clears his throat. "Su She. I would like for you to stop masturbating on my bed."

That's it.

Wei Wuxian feels the incredulity and hysteria threatening to bubble all the way out of him, starting from his stomach. His shoulders start shaking in silent laughter. Holy shit, he did it, and just like that, no sugar coating. Immense.

The spotlight is on Su She, who looks around at everyone staring at him, and starts stammering, "I – I don't know what you mean. Ha, ha! He's so funny. There's no way that –" He must catch sight of one of the production staff, and realise that they are at all times monitoring the camera feeds for juicy segments to put into the show and must have seen him doing it before. "How did you even find out? Even if I were, uh, jerking off on your bed, which I wasn't, what are you doing, huh, spying on me?"

It's absolutely not the take down he intends for it to be. Su She's voice gets louder and louder as Lan Wangji steps off the stage and walks closer and closer to him, leaning back like a frightened animal frozen in place. Lan Wangji holds out the single stemmed rose, presses it forward until Su She takes it, and then walks off towards the dinner table.

A hyena screech looses its way out of Wei Wuxian's mouth, a build up of laughter that he's been holding back, and it all comes out at once in an ungainly mass of vowels out of his mouth, which in turn sets everyone else off in peals of laughter. Huaisang has his whole fist shoved into his mouth, while Jiang Cheng is clutching Wen Qing for support.

Su She is as red as a lobster, darting away towards the alpha villa. 

"Icon," sighs Wei Wuxian, wiping tears from his eyes. "Definitely an instant meme."

He slow claps Lan Wangji as Lan Wangji approaches. "Absolutely genius."

"It was your idea," Lan Wangji reminds him.

"My suggestion, sure," says Wei Wuxian, "But wow, that stone cold delivery? Instant KO."

Ω

No one is surprised, nor saddened, when Su She is eliminated at the end of the next challenge.

Chapter Text

WEEK 4

"The Rem-Ex," says Meng Yao, who has by now become the de-facto reading-out-of-cue cards person. Wei Wuxian is pretty sure he's the only person who has figured out that Meng Yao is doing it deliberately to secure himself guaranteed screen time.

The producer stops him to tell him it's pronounced 'The Remix'. You know, like a remix, with exes.

"But it says – never mind," says Meng Yao with a sigh. "The 'Remix'. Spelled Rem-Ex. A selection of previous contestants have been invited to join the Hot Or Knot island. You have the option of choosing to remain in your current couple or couple up with one of these ex-contestants. If you do choose to recouple, your previous partner reserves the right to challenge your new partner. The challenge method will be revealed after all challenges have been issued. If you don't challenge, you won't be eliminated but if you do challenge and lose, you will immediately be eliminated. Winners of the challenge will be granted a night in the Love Shack."

Wei Wuxian can see where this is going. New contestants are introduced, and current contestants are encouraged to both pick them and then challenge them, neatly stirring the pot up.

"Should have called it Ex On The Beach instead," quips Wei Wuxian.

"Or Shout Out To My Ex," Nie Huaisang nods.

"Lost?" suggests Mo Xuanyu eventually. Wei Wuxian blinks quizzically. "Like, Lost Season 7."

Wei Wuxian laughs. He's appreciating Mo Xuanyu's sense of humour more and more. He's currently coupled up with Nie Mingjue and kind of seems terrified about it. Wei Wuxian is secretly hoping it'll work out after his conversation with Mingjue.

The previous contestants are a mixed bag. A couple of alphas who got through the previous finales but didn't win, one of the omegas who got eliminated during the villa episodes, Su She probably for the sheer drama potential, and Wen Xu – one of the winners of S3, and Wen Chao's older brother. Interesting.

He and his winning omega are still together, from what Wei Wuxian remembers. Although he's added to that number since.

"How many omegas does one man need?" He murmurs as he watches Wen Chao turn an interesting shade of purple. No love lost between the brothers then?

"I heard all his omegas are super pampered," whispers Huaisang back. "But no one's actually seen any of them go outside of Wen Tower in years."

Wei Wuxian shudders. "Do you think anyone will pick him?"

He's pretty much a ticket to a guaranteed win. Strong, handsome, heir to a multi-billion yuan empire, plus the experience of being a previous winner with a killer's instinct.

"I bet Wang Lingjiao is considering an upgrade to her Wen brother."

Huaisang is right. Wang Lingjiao consciously uncouples with Wen Chao and latches onto Wen Xu instead. She doesn't even come up to his shoulder. There's a long moment where Wen Chao is evidently trying to consider whether this will go better or worse for him if he challenges his brother; Wen Xu's face is impassive like stone and eventually Wen Chao says reluctantly, "I challenge."

"And I challenge Lan Wangji," says Su She, voice ringing out across the patio.

There's a moment of silence. Realistically, everyone's still trying to process the Wen brothers' showdown; they haven't caught up to this new development yet.

Wei Wuxian suddenly realises what that means for him – he's the one coupled up with Lan Wangji right now and he does not want to be coupled up with Su She.

"That's not how this works," he says. "Didn't you listen to the rules?"

"I challenge Lan Wangji," repeats Su She firmly. The producer makes a rolling motion with his arms. Run with it. Well of course he would say that, this sort of shit makes for great television.

"I see I'm superfluous to this decision," says Wei Wuxian sourly, aware that his scowl is probably going to make it into the cut. He can see the deadline now. Career Omega Wei Wuxian finally jealous??

Su She doesn't even like him, it seems he just wants to get one over Lan Wangji, but Wei Wuxian is going to be the one stuck with him if he wins.

"And now, the challenge between the competing alphas," announces Meng Yao with a new cue card once all the challenges are in. "The omega will remove their top. The challenging alphas will each be able to suck on one of the omega's nipples. The nipple that is the hardest after 30 seconds is the winner."

Somehow, he says the whole thing with a straight face.

"Um, what the fuck," says Wei Wuxian.

"I – I thought it was going to be a fight," says Su She, sounding slightly bewildered. He has no right to sound confused, he's the one who broke the stupid rules and roped Wei Wuxian into this, and now Wei Wuxian has to let him near one of his nipples for 30 seconds. Why.

"You thought you'd win a fight against Lan Wangji?" Wei Wuxian asks meanly before stalking off. He lies down on one of the sunbeds on the beach. As well as Su She on one side and Lan Wangji on the other, there's one camera and approximately half the other contestants watching. He has, frankly, no idea how his nipples are going to react, and he really hopes this isn't what gets Lan Wangji eliminated from the show.

"Your time starts… now."

Su She swoops down the moment the timer starts and Wei Wuxian has to slide his hands behind his back so he doesn't physically shove him off. He's certainly going for it. Wei Wuxian doesn't exactly have a lot of experience with nipple play so he's not sure if this is considered good or not. It's… wet?

"Ow," says Wei Wuxian, wincing. There were teeth there. He likes teeth, he thinks, at least when he's making out, but this feels more like he's being gnawed on like a chew toy. His nipple is, mortifyingly, getting hard though. It's just a physiological reaction, he tells himself. He can't decide whether he wants to look down at the top of Su She's head or close his eyes and try to ignore it completely.

He settles for looking away instead, and locks eyes with Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji, who is sitting on Wei Wuxian's other side and not doing anything at all. Wei Wuxian feels the disappointment like a gut punch. Sure, he knew that Lan Wangji wasn't here looking for a mate, but still. He could at least put up a fight for the sake of staying on the show.

Their time must be up soon. This feels like the longest thirty seconds of Wei Wuxian's life.

Finally, finally, Lan Wangji dips his head down, and touches the tip of his tongue to the tip of Wei Wuxian's nipple. And then sits back up again before Wei Wuxian can even hope for him to do well. Was that it?

Lan Wangji nods, as if to himself, and then brings his hand up, and flicks Wei Wuxian's nipple. Hard.

"Ow!" yelps Wei Wuxian, flinching so hard he bucks Su She off.

"Time's up!"

Wei Wuxian crosses his arms over his stomach – he wants them to be over his chest, but whichever poor crew member has been designated Arbitrator of Nipple Hardness is trying to do her job – and glares at Lan Wangji. What the hell was he playing at!

"The winner is Lan Wangji!" The crew member announces. Lan Wangji nods to himself again, and holds out Wei Wuxian's t-shirt for him.

"What the fuck," croaks Wei Wuxian.

"What the fuck," says Su She, wiping drool off his mouth with his sleeve, ew, and Wei Wuxian immediately wishes he hadn't sworn. He doesn't want any opinions in common with the man.

He scrubs himself down with a towel and some hand sanitiser for lack of better options as they do some sort of official announcement about Lan Wangji winning over Su She. His right nipple – the one Su She was on – is kind of red and puffy and swollen. God, if he has bite marks from Su She, he's going to hit something. His left nipple is… well, okay. Yeah, it's still pretty damn hard.

Wei Wuxian wriggles back into his t-shirt before he can have feelings about it. At least he now gets to watch the Wen brothers as they get uncomfortably close to incest as a palette cleanser.

Ω

For 'staying true' to each other during the Rem-exes challenge, they're granted a night in the Love Shack. Apart from his first year, Wei Wuxian's never actually had a love shack night since they tend to get given out for people who are actually coupling up.

The next evening, Lan Wangji arrives at the door to 'pick him up' (having walked from the alpha villa twenty metres away). The door isn't locked, since they're all wandering in and out at all hours, but he knocks anyway.

"Who is it?" calls Wei Wuxian, like the absolute fucker he is, waiting for an answer before he and the camera crew lurking behind him open the door to see Lan Wangji and the camera crew lurking equally behind him.

"Lan Wangji! Oh, how nice it is to see you," says Wei Wuxian, leaning forward and kissing his cheeks in the air like some sort of European gentry.

"Wei Wuxian," says Lan Wangji, but he sounds almost amused.

"Yeah, this is so weird, right? Let's go." Wei Wuxian laughs, and picks up his little clutch, which has 'CONDOMS' printed on the front.

They walk towards the Love Shack, set a fifteen-minute amble away from the main villas. There are stationary cameras placed in the Love Shack, but no camera people following them down the path, and Wei Wuxian feels the relief lift off him. They're still micced up, as they have to be, but even just not having eyes on him all the time lets him inhale a little deeper.

He does it again, more exaggeratedly, pulling a whole lungful of sea air into his chest and then releasing it all out, stretching his arms up into the black sky.

Lan Wangji turns to watch him, bemused.

"Don't you feel freer without the weight of all those eyes on you?" asks Wei Wuxian.

"They're still listening to us," says Lan Wangji.

"Sure, but we can pretend. It's so nice to not turn around and constantly see someone lurking with a camera." Without drawing attention to it in his voice, Wei Wuxian points at the mic, neatly twists it off his t-shirt and opens his clutch, dropping inside. He holds it out for Lan Wangji to do the same, and sees him note that there are in fact no condoms inside the bag despite the proclamation on the front.

They walk in blessed silence for a moment, just enjoying the cooling night air, the breeze coming in from over the water.

Lan Wangji's face is lost in the flickering shadows, the lanterns mostly left behind them as they reach a stretch of beach, wet and giving way slightly under Wei Wuxian's flipflops. "Why do you come back if you don't like it?"

A great question; one that Wei Wuxian has never quite managed to give a good answer for. "I forget about how intense it is between seasons. And the last bit of it is always the finale, and it's just one massive heat and I'm basically delirious by the end of it, and I'm good at that bit. And every year, I think 'I could do an awful heat again for half a million yuan, it's not like the rest of my heats aren't terrible and I get paid nothing for those', and forget about how tacky and tasteless the rest of it is." 

"So you agree it's tacky and tasteless," says Lan Wangji, with – a slight note of surprise?

Wei Wuxian looks at him. Still indecipherable, and now he's also not meeting Wei Wuxian's eyes. "I – oh my god. Did you just think that I was just tacky and tasteless?"

Lan Wangji tilts his head. It takes him a while to answer. "You've been on four seasons. It seemed – a logical assumption."

Wei Wuxian laughs, trying to keep it down. He doesn't want to tip anyone off that they've unmicced themselves. "It's – it's a job. It's a job that I'm good at. And now you've met me in person, you can probably tell that part of it is me, how I am all the time, Wei Ying. But part of it is Wei Wuxian."

"You are Wei Wuxian."

"Yeah, but no. Wei Wuxian is a personality, and part of me, but not all of me is Wei Wuxian. I think we're all different people under different circumstances and around different people. And this is who I am when I'm on national television being slightly slutty. Does that make sense?"

"How can you be – slutty? You haven't knotted with anyone," points out Lan Wangji. The word 'slutty' sounds unnatural to him. He's probably never had to say anything so uncouth out loud before. It's sort of endearing. This poor man is so out of place on this show.

"I flash my ass around and I don't worry about who's watching," says Wei Wuxian. "So even though everyone knows I've never been knotted, the fact that I seem like I could be up for it is enough to make me Schrodinger's Slut."

Lan Wangji makes a little sound, like the world's tiniest sneeze, and it takes Wei Wuxian a hot second to realise that he had startled Lan Wangji into a laugh, for real.

They keep walking, this time in real silence, Wei Wuxian straying far enough from the path to let the tide tickle his feet for a little bit. It's nice not to have to be 'on'.

"I keep coming back because I'm an optimist," says Wei Wuxian eventually. "Because this show is horrible, and full of horrible people. And don't get me wrong, I'm one of them. And you can see how people react when they have to do horrible things. And I think, if someone could see me, here, at my worst and still be interested, then that's a good match."

Lan Zhan thinks it over for a moment. The silence is comforting actually, like proof that he's really hearing Wei Wuxian. "But you haven't found one yet."

"Not yet," says Wei Wuxian softly.

They come into view of the Love Shack after that, and Wei Wuxian holds out his not-condom Condom bag so they can mic themselves back up.

"I don't think you're a horrible person," says Lan Wangji quietly. He clips his mic on before Wei Wuxian can reply, so Wei Wuxian reaches out and squeezes him lightly on the elbow instead. That's sweet. He's wrong, because they haven't reached the part of the show where Wei Wuxian starts enticing people in with his slick and then murdering them yet, but it's sweet.

Ω

The exterior of the Love Shack is designed to make it look as much stereotypical 'tropical beach shack' as possible, so Wei Wuxian isn't holding out much hope for the interior, but it's actually... surprisingly nice? It looks mostly like a generic swanky 5* hotel room, white linens and clean lines and rectangles everywhere, the air con cranked a little low. The only indication that it's part of the Hot or Knot show is the glowing pink neon lettered lights above the backboard of the bed, which says 'Love'.

"There's only one bed," says Lan Wangji, pausing as they step over the threshold.

"...Yes," says Wei Wuxian. "It's called the Love Shack. Did you–"

"No." says Lan Wangji curtly, almost a complete different person to the one standing with Wei Wuxian on a dark beach three minutes ago. He sighs, and perches gingerly on the edge of the bed. He speaks slowly, with gaps between his sentences like he's attempting to consider his words before they fall out of this mouth. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I'm aware what the room was for, and what other contestants have used it for. I just had not, quite, made the connection to our circumstances."

"Our circumstances?"

"You're not interested in sleeping with me."

Wei Wuxian winces at the way it come out. He's not wrong, but that's not it, not exactly. "I'm not not interested in sleeping with you. I - just -"

"That came out badly too," says Lan Wangji, looking increasingly more pathetic by the moment. "You're not currently, on this television show, looking to actually... mate with anyone."

"Yeah. Yeah, no, I get what you mean. It's weird because neither of us are here to have like, wild kinky sex away from the rest of the contestants." And the thing is, Wei Wuxian does get it. He's right, he's coupled up with a few of the alphas for challenges, but none of them have been genuinely trying to court him.

"Yes," Lan Wangji says in relief. "That's it. Sorry. Again."

"It's fine. You got there in the end. If you're not comfortable sharing a bed, I'll just take the sofa," says Wei Wuxian, flopping down onto it. It's perfectly comfortable.

"No, no - if you're not comfortable sharing a bed, I will take the sofa," says Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian frowns. "I'm fine sharing a bed."

"Oh." Lan Wangji actually looks startled at that, like he'd genuinely thought that Wei Wuxian would be the one who didn't want to share a bed with him. "I just thought that since you were in pre-heat, you would prefer unmated alphas not to... linger."

And now, Wei Wuxian gets it.

"Oh! Oh. I'm... not." Why are they so awkward with each other? They were perfectly fine just a moment ago. Wei Wuxian blames it on the presence of cameras and mics again. "It's super considerate of you, but... no. I'm not worried about you not being able to control yourself and ravaging me in my sleep."

He kind of wants to laugh, because Lan Wangji is so incredibly unlikely to try anything unwanted that it hadn't even crossed Wei Wuxian's mind to be wary of him like he would some of the other contestants. "I mean don't get me wrong! I'm sure you could... if you wanted. Ravage me."

"Well, that's good," says Lan Wangji faintly. There's a tiny blush across his ears. There he is. The two versions of Lan Wangji are resolving into one in his head.

Wei Wuxian does laugh this time. "Yeah, that's good."

Initial awkwardness over, they take the time to explore the room. The Love Shack is supplied with a host of luxuries (there are at least three bowls of condoms, set out like pot pourri) and Wei Wuxian is slightly disappointed not to be able to use any of it since most of it geared towards encouraging contestants to have more sex, not less, but he spies the hot tub, and makes a beeline for it.

"Oh hot damn, feel this jet spray," he says as he sinks into the water delightedly. His head thunks back as the jetstream hits one of the aches in his lower back, and he groans. "Lan Wangji, you have got to try this out."

Lan Wangji hovers on the side until Wei Wuxian opens his eyes again to peer at him. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't bring swim trunks." He gestures down at himself.

It's something that Wei Wuxian has noticed actually - he himself tends to live in speedos and swim shorts during the dating portion of this show, knowing that they might get called down to the beach at any time (and also because if someone is paying for him to go to a tropical island, then yes, he's going to work on his tan for free), but Lan Wangji generally sticks to a selection of very practical looking shorts and t-shirts.

"Just take them off. I won't look." Wei Wuxian leans his head back and throws an arm over his face. He's trying really hard to make this a comfortable, inclusive experience for Lan Wangji right now. There would definitely be some omegas who would make a thing of this. He leaves his arm there until he hears Lan Wangji step in, and by the time he looks up, Lan Wangji is situated all the way in.

The hot tub isn't exactly big - probably to promote that couple-y snuggling vibe - so they end up sitting opposite each other, their legs criss-crossing. Wei Wuxian carries the conversation; he talks about the travel and extreme sports stuff he likes to do outside of the show, the way that getting sponsors has opened him up to become a content creator on his own terms, and how he probably has a fucked-up sense of what counts as a high-risk situation.

At some point, he wonders vaguely if Lan Wangji is even listening, and peters off. "And I was dangling off..."

After a second, Lan Wangji prompts, "A cliff?"

"Oh! No, the side of a building, actually." He beams, "Sorry, I was wondering if I'd lost you."

"No, I don't think so. Your storytelling is very engaging and easy to follow."

Absolutely not what Wei Wuxian meant, but delightful nevertheless. Lan Wangji has stopped looking like he's got a stick up his ass and is just a man sitting naked in a bathtub with another man. It's nice, actually. Lan Wangji is an active listener and now that Wei Wuxian has figured out that this is what his interested face looks like, he gets into it; and in return, Lan Wangji chips in every so often with an observation when Wei Wuxian mentions camping and getting caught in the rain, or his heat arriving early while he was on a shoot, or anything else.

The water doesn't get cooler, and there's no clock anywhere to be seen, so the only way that Wei Wuxian can tell that time has passed is by how wrinkled his fingertips are getting. Somewhere between dried fig and prune, Lan Wangji starts drooping – like, physically drooping.

"Oop, bedtime for you?"

Lan Wangji opens his mouth to reply, and yawns instead; he promptly looks mortified at himself, and Wei Wuxian cackles.

"It's okay, let's call it a day. I'll head in first." Wei Wuxian steps out – because he did bring speedos – and pads towards the Shack to find some towels for them. He finds them in time to bring one to Lan Wangji before he can step wet into his shorts; Wei Wuxian catches sight of a trim waist that glides into a smooth expanse of butt before he averts his eyes.

"Thanks," says Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian skitters back into the Shack.

It's about respecting Lan Wangji's boundaries, Wei Wuxian tells himself as he steps into the shower. The hot tub was nice, but he quickly scrubs himself above the chest, especially around the neck. The water had probably dampened it, but he probably is putting out a lot of scent right now, and he doesn't want to make it hard on Lan Wangji. It's not his fault he's going to be sleeping next to an absolute snack.

He goes wild with the fancy lotions after brushing his teeth, picking the ones with the strongest scents to try and fend it off, and then heads out into the bedroom. Lan Wangji has turned off the main light, and is stood, looking dumbfounded at the neon Love lights still glaring at them.

"I can't find the switch," he says. They spend ten minutes looking for the switch. There isn't one, apparently, and they give up, Wei Wuxian sliding into bed as Lan Wangji takes over the bathroom.

The bed is real nice. Soft, and enveloping him and with as many pillows as he would like. Their dorm beds are decent too, but Wei Wuxian has a double at home, and every time the adjustment back to a twin is a pain. He burrows under the covers, and sticks one leg out for thermoregulation and is fast asleep before Lan Wangji is even done brushing his teeth.

Ω

Wei Wuxian wakes the next morning curled up on his side, cuddled up against something that's too warm, and his legs sticking out and too cold on the other end.

"Wuh," he groans, and pulls his legs in under the covers, cuddling up to the source of heat instead.

Ah. The source of heat is Lan Wangji's chest.

"Errmygod," mumbles Wei Wuxian when said chest shifts under him, and pulls away quickly enough that he accidentally rolls himself into a burrito, yanking all of the covers with him almost off the bed. "Fuck!"

By the time he disentangles himself from the covers to poke his head out of the top, Lan Wangji is sitting up on the bed, looking at him in confusion.

"Sorry," says Wei Wuxian, and then says it again when trying to sort out the duvet so that Lan Wangji can have half back, and then he notices that Lan Wangji is shirtless and wearing only a tiny pair of briefs in bed and there is a significant bulge in them, and his brain shorts out. "Eeermygawd," he says again. And then also: "Sorry. Sorry!"

He's only got a vocabulary of two words in the morning, it seems.

Lan Wangji also notices where he's looking, not least because Wei Wuxian is being incredibly unsubtle about it, and grabs a corner of the duvet to press over his morning wood; and Wei Wuxian is still holding the rest of the same duvet, which counts as indirectly touching Lan Wangji's dick right? So he flings the rest of the king sized duvet at Lan Wangji – he just manages to see his shocked face before the thing hits him with a thwump in the face – and flees into the bathroom.

"Oh my god," he whispers to himself, and, well. At least it's three separate words this time.

He sits on the toilet seat to contemplate his shame, now that his brain is actually coming online and realising what an absolute embarrassment he was. Poor Lan Wangji, just sleeping and having completely normal bodily functions before Wei Wuxian tries to climb on top of him and then be extremely uncool about it all.

Sitting on the toilet has also revealed something else, which Wei Wuxian has not had neither brainpower nor wherewithal to notice so far, which is that he also has his own morning wood – which was probably pressed against Lan Wangji's leg earlier – and not just that, but his boxer briefs are wet in the back.

Wei Wuxian presses his face into his hands. If he closes his eyes for long enough, maybe he doesn't want to deal with it. Eventually, he stands and peels them off. Yep, giant wet patch in the back. And he can feel the slick sticking to his skin, having dripped out of his asshole at some point in the night.

He should have brought black underwear – perhaps he, like Lan Wangji, did not think through what spending a night in the Love Shack would entail for the two of them. He's in pre-heat, of course his body would react to a nice alpha so close and available. Instead, he has grey underwear that look wrecked. He steps into the shower to scrub himself off again, slathers himself in some more vanilla-scented lotion, and finds a little plastic baggie to stick his underwear in. It can go in the no-condoms Condom bag.

He's tempted to get rid of the morning wood the normal way – and then decides that he doesn't want to have to deal with his brain thinking that wanking off in the room adjacent to Lan Wangji is basically like indirect sex or something – and goes for the regrettable blast of cold water instead.

He steps out in a towel wrapped very firmly plus a fluffy bathrobe to see Lan Wangji fully dressed on the sofa, the bed made, no signs of abnormal behaviour at all.

Wei Wuxian clears his throat. "Sorry, I really didn't mean to make this as weird as humanly possible. Bathroom's free."

"It could have been worse." And with that ominous comment, Lan Wangji nods gravely and absconds to the bathroom.

Obviously, Wei Wuxian immediately goes to flip the duvet up on his side of the bed. Fucking hell, the wet patch is big enough it looks like he might have actually wet himself. He gives himself a moment for his soul to leave his body, do two mortified laps of the room and reluctantly come back to him, and then quietly tucks the duvet back down. If Lan Wangji could smell that on him, it's no wonder he had morning wood.

It's not until they leave the Love Shack that Wei Wuxian squints at the morning sky, the sunlight a watery, weak yellow. "What time is it?"

One of the things contestants struggle with adjust to is the lack of clocks. It's meant to disorientate, especially when they're dragged out of bed in the middle of the night or early morning for a challenge or when the show needs to manipulate the amount of time they're asked to do something and a 'dinner' takes four hours.

"A little after five am," says Lan Wangji, with the confidence of someone who knows what just after dawn looks like.

"Why the fuck are we up so early?" asks Wei Wuxian, scowling into the light. He hasn't been up this early since the last time he stayed up this late. "If we'd been anyone else, this would be time for round three, or maybe four."

He looks over at Lan Zhan, and it's not until they're out of the throbbing pink lighting of the neon sign that he notices how pale he looks. The man is pale already, Wei Wuxian has no idea how given they're on week four of daily sunshine, but he's almost grey right now, with puffy eyes and sunken shadows under his eyes.

"Lan Wangji," says Wei Wuxian quietly, "Did you not sleep last night?"

Lan Wangji blinks at him, and it's only because Wei Wuxian is looking for it now, but he physically sees the extra second it takes for Wei Wuxian's question to load into his brain. "I slept... poorly," he admits finally.

"Why didn't you wake me?" asks Wei Wuxian, aghast. He should be more tactful, probably, but he's been thrown off since he woke up curled around Lan Wangji.

"Then both of us would have slept poorly."

Wei Wuxian splutters at how matter-of-fact he sounds. "But I'm the reason you couldn't sleep! Because I –" He splutters, and can't get the phrase 'leaked delicious smelling slick all over the bed' out of his mouth. "—sluck."

Oh God. That's not better. They stare at each other in, presumably, mutual mortification, or perhaps Wei Wuxian is just projecting. And then he thinks it over and backtracks, because that was an assumption at best. "I mean, if you were struggling because of my – of me, then that was a solvable problem."

Lan Wangji reaches out a hand, as if to put on Wei Wuxian's arm, and then hitches, letting it fall short and hover. "I generally sleep badly in unusual circumstances."

It's not your fault, is what Wei Wuxian hears, which is very sweet of Lan Wangji even if it is not really entirely true.

"So you're telling me you would have slept completely fine if you hadn't had an omega in pre-heat next to you all night?" He presses.

Lan Wangji looks steadily at him. "The room glowed neon pink all night."

Wei Wuxian jabs a finger at him. "I see what you're doing, masterful deflection there."

Lan Wangji has the audacity to look slightly pleased at that. Wei Wuxian gives up, and tromps towards the beach instead. It's early enough that there's actually a slight breeze and the sand isn't burning hot under his feet, so he kicks his flipflops off and squidges his toes into the wet sand instead.

He considers taking his mic off again – although really, what worse could be recorded than of his body taking him back to a teenager with their first wet dream and then massively overreacting to it? – but Wei Wuxian opens up the no-condom Condom bag, and the smell of damp slick bursts into his face and his ruined underwear looks back up at him, and he hastily clasps it shut again.

He'll just have to deal with being perceived.

"Hey, Lan Wangji. If you could pick any of the omegas to spend a night in the Love Shack with, who would it be?"

"Wei Wuxian," says Lan Wangji.

"I mean, apart from me. We already did the do. Well, not the do, but we did do it. Like if you weren't just basing it on who would be chill and not intense and flirty about it, who would you pick?" Wei Wuxian steps into what looked like more sand but turned out to be a little sinkhole of water, his leg sliding in all the way to the knee.

"Still Wei Wuxian." Lan Wangji steps forward, clasping his hand to steady him before he lands on his ass in wet sand.

Wei Wuxian grabs his arm with his other arm between them, they haul himself up, wet sand clinging to his calf, and beams at Lan Wangji. He doesn't know if Lan Wangji is just being polite, trying not to ruin the (largely) peaceful and fun atmosphere they've had by bringing up someone else when they've literally just spent the night together, but it does give him the warm fuzzies to hear that someone might choose him, for real.

He links up their arms as they walk back to the villas.

Ω

Ω

WEEK 5

The thing is, Wei Wuxian packs quickly. His things are always a whirlwind, spread haphazardly across the dorm, but he's used to this bit and he's used to cramming his life into a suitcase to move around here and there. He gets everything folded up and ready to go in about fifteen minutes, while Xuanyu and Huaisang are still trying to locate everything of theirs.

"It's not my fault you're slow."

"You've had practice," gripes Xuanyu.

"Take your time, it's habit, not necessity," says Wei Wuxian, flopping onto his bed and savouring the feel of a real mattress for the last time. Once the final two weeks start – even assuming he survives all of it – nights are going to be spent sleeping in snatches, huddled against trees and under bushes or whatever terrain is out on the rest of the island, half an eye out for someone creeping up on him. 

And before that – well. There's actually a three-day buffer built in between the end of this segment and the start of the finale that the public don't generally know about.

Part of it is logistical. They need the time to pre-record as many talking head interviews as possible in advance; or sort out costume design for the finale; have a chance to say their goodbyes to family; or shoot other promotional material, like the sponsorship ads for the little peach yoghurt drink that comes in a bottle that looks like deodorant.

And part of it is (in Wei Wuxian's opinion) sadistic. They need the time to stick all the omegas in a room and pump the air filters full of hormones and artificial alpha scent to induce them all from pre-heat into heat proper before the finale starts. That's what the show is meant to be, right? The finale doesn't make sense if the omegas aren't all in heat.

But the show largely portrays the time the omegas spend together before filming starts as the reason their cycles have all synced up, and glosses over the hours they spend together hotboxing musk.

Wei Wuxian feels bad for Wen Qing, whose heat triggers on the first day of their three day break.

"I'll survive," she says crisply, as she fishes out three tampons and disappears into the bathroom.

His is probably going to trigger late, right before the finale starts, not least because he was expecting this, and his body has adapted – or maladapted, as is probably more accurate.

The final farewells come, illogically, first. That's probably because no one wants to do the final farewells when all the omegas are obviously sweating in heat already, and the further down the three day itinerary it is, the more likely that heat will have started for any given person.

Wei Wuxian never has anyone come to his final farewells. Popo, his only surviving relative, told him years ago that she was very proud of him for doing so well but also that she did not want to watch the television programme where he spent most of his time naked and in heat, which... fair.

(She pays for a gift package during the finale to be airdropped in every year though, made up of food, first aid materials and usually a utility knife of some sort. One year it was a cleaver, which definitely made things interesting. Given how expensive the airdrop packages are, Wei Wuxian has wondered more than once whether she's burning through her retirement savings making sure that he doesn't get fucked or fucked over in the first twenty-four hours, but she's never mentioned it and therefore he's never mentioned it. She's probably fine, given she lives on an estate that covers the entire top of a mountain anyway.)

So when it comes to final farewells, Wei Wuxian most spends it with the crew, thanking them for their work and joking that he'll see them again the following year. The finale is manned 99% by drones, so the camera crew are mostly done after the dating show portion of Hot Or Knot, only brought back in right at the end once the winners are being decided.

That doesn't usually take that long though, not compared to the few hours that everyone else spends, so he likes to spend his time peoplewatching for the rest of it. He likes to see who everyone else brings to this.

Wen Ning and Wen Qing stand next to each other with a whole bunch of elderly aunties and uncles around them, which is sweet. Wei Wuxian hopes Wen Ning makes it, he's a sweet kid and the other alphas don't seem to see him as a threat. Wen Qing told Wei Ying a couple of weeks ago that he could hold his own in a fight though, so he wants to see that.

Wen Xu has no one around him, but his aura seems to be of supreme confidence that he'll win, and therefore any final farewells are entirely superfluous.

Nie Huaisang and Mingjue are standing in a little cluster with the Lan brothers and a bunch of other people - since they all ended up here as a domino effect, it makes sense that they have the same social circles here to say bye to them. It's interesting, seeing people interact outside of the villa dynamics. He hadn't thought that Lan Wangji would be the type with a lot of friends, but he seems super popular. Lan Wangji locks eyes with him as he walks past, and Wei Wuxian waves. Lan Wangji keeps watching him, turning his head to follow Wei Wuxian as if he weren't concentrating on the conversation around him at all. Ah, perhaps he doesn't have a lot of friends after all.

Jiang Cheng has his parents, who look weird and uncomfortable, and his sister, who's flitting around him holding them all together. Wei Wuxian is glad he didn't get involved there; the complicated family dynamics are obvious.

Jin Zixuan is hanging near them, and Wei Wuxian has never seen him look so uncomfortable before. His mother seems to be concentrating more on catching up with Jiang Cheng's mother than actually spending time with her son, leaving him to exchange pleasantries awkwardly with Jiang Cheng and his sister. Even more noticeable is that Mo Xuanyu and Meng Yao aren't anywhere near them.

Mo Xuanyu is, in fact, hiding in a corner and making very sure that Mrs Jin doesn't catch sight of him.

"We should start a lonely orphans club," says Wei Wuxian, handing him a glass of water and then immediately taking it back once it becomes clear that his hand is shaking too much to stop it from spilling.

"My dad's still alive," says Mo Xuanyu. "That's sort of the problem."

"Can't believe he has three sons on the programme and didn't come to say bye to any of them." He already didn't have a good impression of Jin Guangshan given the whole, you know multiple women, multiple sons thing; he hadn't thought that it could get worse.

"I heard it's some sort of confidence play. He's not saying bye to Zixuan because he won't entertain the idea that he won't survive and win, or something like that. But it probably helps that it means he doesn't have to say hi to me or Yao-ge too."

Wei Wuxian's quiet for a moment. He knows that by anyone's standards, he's had a rough childhood, but at least his parents loved him for real, and then when popo finally found him, she did too. He slings an arm around Mo Xuanyu's shoulders, and steers him towards the interview room. It's blocked off for talking head segments, which the programme will play alongside contestant introductions and in between bits of action. Most people are more concerned with saying bye to their families, but Wei Wuxian says, "Come on, let's go stack up on interviews. The more material they have from you, the more screentime you're gonna get, and that matters when you want audience votes for care packages. We can start with why you call Meng Yao Yao-ge, but not Zixuan Zixuan-ge."

Ω

Jin Zixun howls when he's voted off at the final voting, the evening before the finale starts. The worst place to get voted off, when he's so close to the finale and has been psyching himself up for the last couple of days.

"He's not another brother, is he?" asks Wei Wuxian out of the corner of his mouth. Jin Zixun had been another one of the new contestants punted into the show halfway through.

"Cousin," says Mo Xuanyu.

Wei Wuxian silently counts off how many people in that family applied for this season of Hot or Knot.

"I'm actually really impressed you managed to completely avoid incest," he says. "So uh. Is there a reason that your entire family turned up this season? Just that the likelihood of it seems kinda low."

"Oh, my dad was discovered embezzling Jin Corp funds, which led to the discovery that he'd also spent the entire family fortune over the last thirty years on expensive hookers, so there's no money, no inheritance and the family business is on the verge of collapse. And also I think Zixuan took one of those 123 and me DNA test things? I think he thought it was just a cool thing to do, but now half-siblings are coming out of the woodwork." Mo Xuanyu delivers this all with the ease of a single off-hand comment. "But I'm just here for love."

Wei Wuxian waits a moment for all of that to settle in. Sometimes, he misses having a big family; sometimes he's intensely grateful that he doesn't have to deal with one. " So everyone in the family is going through their quarter-life crisis?"

"Something like that. Zixuan was dating some rich girl who dumped him after the news came out, and his mum's desperately trying to set him up with some family friend's daughter of hers."

Maybe that's what was going down in the farewells, with the awkward hovering and so on. Xuanyu continues counting family members off on his fingers.

"Meng Yao was Head of PR and Comms at Jin Corp and, well. You know."

"Yeah, hard to spin the PR on all this."

"So he's looking for an out. And when the investigation for this was happening, Zixun was discovered to be embezzling Jin Corp in a completely different way to my father, so."

Even Wei Wuxian is stunned into silence for a moment there. "Wow."

"Yeah."

"You're so well-adjusted in comparison," he says eventually.

"Thanks," says Mo Xuanyu dryly. They make to head off to the omega dorm together, so they can have a long ice bath and swelter in miserable silence together at their heats, but Lan Wangji steps forward as if he wants to have a word with Wei Wuxian, and Mo Xuanyu slips away before Wei Wuxian can say anything.

"I – oh, he's gone already. What's up?"

Lan Wangji glances around them. They're still in the studio after filming the voting reveal – Jin Zixun has stomped off after getting eliminated but most of the rest of them are still chatting and slowly meandering out now. Crew are mostly flitting around, deconstructing the set around them. In short, they're not in private but it's unlikely that anyone's listening to them.

"Congratulations," says Lan Wangji. "For getting into the finale."

"Thanks. You too," says Wei Wuxian. "You finally get to do the bit you thought you were going to do."

He waits, rocking slightly on the balls of his feet, in case there's more. This is the last time they'll have a chance to speak again until they meet in the middle of the finale, after all. After this, Wei Wuxian will spend the evening in the omega dorm, and tomorrow will be dedicated towards getting the omegas all ready for the show to start.

"If you–" starts Lan Wangji, and then stops.

"Go on?" says Wei Wuxian.

"If you need help out there," says Lan Wangji all in a rush, words tumbling out on an exhale. "You can count on me."

Wei Wuxian frowns; he's trying to formulate a response that doesn't sound like he's being ungrateful, but Lan Wangji gets there first.

"I understand that you don't need help. You have won four seasons previously. But I am not saying this as... an alpha. Just as someone who... would help you. If you need it. Or even if you would just like it."

Wei Wuxian tilts his head, trying to evaluate the weight of those words. He waits, to see if there's anymore, but there isn't. Perhaps he can take them at face value.

"Thanks," he says, because in the end what else is there to say? He hopes that this was just Lan Wangji's awkward way of trying to tell him that he can trust him if they come across each other in the finale. "I hope you survive to the end. Alphas have a higher mortality rate than omegas."

Lan Wangji nods, and holds out his hand. "Then perhaps if I need your help, I can count on you too."

He leaves after Wei Wuxian shakes his hand, as the crew starts ushering them out of the way. Wei Wuxian stares after him. Such odd behaviour. So... gentlemanly, and formal. It's a bit disappointing, actually; he would have thought that they were past that point by now, friendly at least if not quite all the way to friends for sure.

Ω

Chapter Text

WEEK 6

The glass box is almost suffocating. That's the point, of course. Five omegas packed together in heat, with more chemical pheromones being pumped in. Don't try this at home, kids, Wei Wuxian thinks wryly to himself; he's pretty sure that the amount in here is an illegal concentration. He can tell that they're fake pheromones, they have that tinge of a brassy smell, but his body is responding to it all the same. His skin feels like it could burn through the clothes he's wearing already. 

His choice of outfit is a set of lightweight robes with long socks and slip on shoes. It's a bit of an odd choice; the first year he competed, he looked like an undressed student in a bathrobe, but the stylists had quickly adapted after that and he looks more like he's wearing a slutty hanfu cosplay now, which is fine by him.

Most of the contestants choose something comfortable, or survival wear, much more suited to the idea of camping outside for two weeks, but Wei Wuxian would rather the versatility of being able to get his clothes on and off as quickly as he can to deal with his heat, keeping his clothes lightweight so that they dry quickly if he has to wash them out – which he will, frequently. He's on a tropical island; it's not like he's going to freeze if he has to sleep naked outside for a few days.

He does his best to encourage everyone else to wear survival wear though; the precious few seconds gained by an alpha trying to shed layers of clothing gives an omega time to act if it's not an alpha they're interested in. 

Anyway, the point is that he's wearing silky robes but they already feel like sandpaper against all the most sensitive parts of him - his shoulders, his ribs, his nipples. He's not visibly sweating, but he feels like he's burning up from inside. The restraints, more for dramatic flair than anything else, stop him from prowling around the box, which he would likely be doing if he wasn't strapped down.

There are drones with cameras flitting around inside the glass box, focussing on each of their faces probably as an announcer talks the audience through all the contestants, but the drones don't do anything to capture the smell of multiple omegas in heat. It's like a steam room in here, everyone's reaction to the pheromones collectively causing the tension to rise as each of the omegas can smell the others and their bodies react to try make themselves more attractive to alphas, never mind that Wei Wuxian does not want to attract any alphas.

Huaisang on his left looks pale, trying to close his eyes and take keep calming breaths even though each inhale is probably just making him smell everyone more intensely; Wen Qing on his right looks angry more than anything else. Wei Wuxian can't see the others since their chairs are in a circle facing outward, all the better for the audience to see, but he pastes on a smile for the camera, tilts his neck as a suggestion of baring it, and remembers to breathe through his mouth. 

He can feel the tension in his muscles, the ache in his hips, the slick already threatening to escape his ass, but Wei Wuxian is a fucking professional, and he is going to act like it. 

The glass box rises from the underground bunker, through the ground like they're sacrificial goats in a dinosaur enclosure. There's about a half minute where they're on display, out in the open. The cameras above ground will whirr into action, Wei Wuxian knows from previous years, panning out to show the five omegas bunched together in a vast battlefield.

The thing about the island is that the villa compounds they're kept in for the first part of the season is only one small part of it. The rest of the space could be anything at all, and Wei Wuxian tries not to be fooled by the beautiful sandy beaches that they spent the first part of the show in.

It changes every year, but it'll be some sort of mixed terrain, with grassland and forest, ponds and rocky areas most likely. This year they've come out in front of a huge stretch of rock, the type that's long and flat like slate, and Wei Wuxian grimaces internally. If any of them get caught here, the first few match ups are going to be damn uncomfortable. He doesn't want to have to fight or fuck on this rock.

On one side, the rock turns into an actual mountainside; on the other, forest. The mountain would probably be easier to defend himself on, but he'll need the resources he can gather in the forest first - especially water of some sort. It's easy to get dehydrated during a heat since omegas are burning a couple of degrees above normal body temperature, and more than one contestant has had to be airlifted out of the finale due to sunstroke since omegas in heat aren't exactly good at gauging just how off their core temperature is.

That's about as much as Wei Wuxian gets to think over before the glass box disassembles and slides back into the floor and all of their restraints unclamp. He collectively hears them all inhale sharply as fresh air floods their lungs, and the pheromones dissipate into the air to tempt the alphas over.

He grabs the rucksack on the back of his chair, which is filled with basic survival supplies; no one wants to see any of the omegas die of hunger on this show, that would be barbaric. (Death by fighting or fucking or being caught between two alphas is a different story, of course; that's entertainment.) 

Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything to the other omegas – they all said their good lucks and well-wishes below ground, in the few minutes snatched before their every move, every breath, would be broadcast to the world – and legs it towards the forest instead. He paces himself like a middle-distance runner. The omegas get a twenty-minute head start, so he doesn't need to be the fastest right now, he can conserve a bit of energy for when he gets found, but he does also need to make the best of his twenty minutes. 

The easiest way to make it through the first twenty-four hours is to strike up an alliance. Some sort of pact where several contestants agree to work together to set up the basic necessities - shelter, clean water, safety. Some people who have been clearly coupling up already during the season might go off together quickly. It gets tricky - there's all sorts of strategy that Wei Wuxian has heard over the years about whether to knot early to break the pesky heat, or whether to delay the knot and use the smell of the heat as a distraction, et cetera, et cetera.

He sticks to the same strategy every year. It's sort of his brand now, to go off as the lone wolf, but it's also because nothing good ever comes of alliances. No alpha is going to want to pair up with him when he's not interested in knotting, and getting a group of omegas together would be like rounding up all the prey together for the alphas to target.

"Alright," he says out loud as soon as he's pulled away from the others a bit. "Let's remember what we need, hmm? Water, first."

To the public, Wei Wuxian has a bit of a habit of talking to himself. Some viewers find it endearing; others find it helpful, a fascinating glimpse into what's running through a contestant's head as they go. There are regular media snippets interspersed in the broadcast, of course, but those are all filmed beforehand and it's not the kind of reality tv show where the producers can do talking head interviews during the event. 

In reality, Wei Wuxian no more has a habit of talking to himself than Wei Wuxian is his real name. This is part of what being a Career Omega is – knowing the audience, giving them what they want, creating good TV. And he knows that when he narrates little snippets of what he's doing, he pulls in more viewers onto his livestream, especially newer viewers who are trying to figure out what's happening instead of just watching three hours of aimless bushwhacking. More viewers on his personal cam stream makes the sponsors take notice, which means he's more likely to get airdrops, and so on.

He doesn't tell them everything, of course. His usual checklist of things includes: figuring out a water supply; finding a weapon; finding something that really stinks; and finding somewhere he can fuck himself in private, not necessarily in that order. The viewers don't need to know any of this apart from the first one.

Ω

There's an empty shack tucked into the edge of the forest. It doesn't look like anyone has got this far yet.

It's not, obviously, a real abandoned house, but a completely new shack built for the purpose of this arena that's trying to look dilapidated, which means it's artistically missing roof tiles and one of the windows is broken, but the doors don't creak and things aren't covered in a layer of dust. It feels surreal, like a house preserved for a museum or something, but Wei Wuxian has come across a couple of similar structures in previous years, so it weirds him out less than it would otherwise. 

It's well situated, near the river that Wei Wuxian has just dragged himself out of. He's glad he found it quickly; being able to wash off his smell is more useful for delaying an alpha from finding him than anything else. The easiest tactic for an alpha at the start is to sniff around the chairs where the omegas come up and then follow the trail. He'd stripped naked - pulling the sash of his robes loose and letting them slide down his shoulders, his torso, his hips, because never let it be said that Wei Wuxian doesn't know that this is a reality TV show - and then scrubbed himself off and waded up the river. 

The downside of that is that he's now cold as balls, so it's a good thing he found this shack.

He closes the door and props a chair behind it as he surveys the contents. It's like looting a house in a video game; he checks all the furniture and inside the vases, where he finds a bundle of rope and a hand-powered flashlight. Nice. There's a handtowel, which he uses to mostly wipe himself dry before sticking in his bag. The fridge is out of place and unplugged because it's not like there's electricity here, but he does find some food packages inside, which is useful too. Not a bad haul.

Other than that, there's not much else Wei Wuxian can take with him, so he turns to the mattress instead. He'd probably never use a mattress on the floor of a real abandoned house - who knows what might have died or fucked in it, ew - but since it's a new mattress pretending to be an old one, it’s probably fine.

There's the little hum of a camera drone that's following him; this too is something that Wei Wuxian is used to, and he's going to rely on it now. He pretends to not notice it. People prefer it if he seems candid, like they're spying in on something illicit that they're not supposed to see. He rubs himself all over and stretches out his muscles before they get cold from the swimming and cold water, and then flops over onto the mattress. 

"I'm getting warm again already," he says, ostensibly to himself. "Blasted heat."

It's useful to remind people that he's in heat. That means it's less of a surprise when he rolls onto his back and pulls his knees up to bare his asshole. He touches his asshole and his fingertip comes away wet. The worst of the slick had got washed away in the river, but his body is already producing it again. He teases himself, running his finger around his rim a few times before punching two fingers all the way in, hard and fast.

He grunts, asshole clenching around his fingers. It hurts, momentarily, but it's what he needs. There are going to be omegas who try and push through the heat, trying not to distract themselves, but Wei Wuxian finds it better to give in to the need a couple of times a day – unsatisfying because his body is craving a knot, and not his fingers, but enough to take the edge off so he can keep going with a clear head.

Wei Wuxian fucks himself with his fingers until it's like he never washed himself at all; he's wet and open and two fingers are not enough to fill him; three isn't really either but he can't comfortably do four from this angle and it's best not to give the audience everything in the first go anyway. His slick makes his hand slide in smooth and he moans in frustration, just wanting a bit of friction right now; it squelches as he pumps his fingers in and out, dribbling down the crack of his ass, until he comes with a cry, half muffled as he turns his face into his shoulder.

He keeps his fingers in, pressed up tight against his prostate, a poor substitute for a knot, until his thighs stop shuddering. He exhales. This might be the only time this week that he'll have the luxury of doing this without an alpha already tracking himself down, so Wei Wuxian lets himself have the extra two minutes to come back to himself. 

And then he smears his hand clean on the mattress - useful for aggravating any alphas who are attracted by the smell of it and expect to find him inside. When he gets up, his asshole is still dripping, the inside of his thighs are smeared with slick and it's starting to get uncomfortably sticky between his ass cheeks. Wei Wuxian sighs gustily. 

"I need something to keep all of this inside me," he says woefully, as he cleans himself off. Hopefully his fans will take the hint and quickly put together an airdrop for him that includes a plug. His body would prefer a dildo, a big one with a knotted base that will do more than his fingers (but still less than a real knot, sadly), but the plug is more practical. If he can't stop his body from dripping all the time, he can at least stop himself from dripping all over the place. 

It's tempting to stay in the shack, but Wei Wuxian also knows that it's an easy way to get caught. Which is great for anyone looking to get mated, but not so much for him. So he keeps moving. He finds a tree branch that's a decent size to use as a staff and a club, he rubs himself against three different trees to fuck up anyone who might be trying to track him, and breaks into one of the food packages to find a bag of mandarins and a durian.

"Ka-ching," he holds it up so the camera can see it clearly. He eats the mandarins and smears half of the durian all over himself. It fucking reeks. It won't stop alphas from smelling him, but it might make them think the smell is so revolting he's not worth pursuing.

"Ooh, castor bean plants. Worth trying to memorise all of those poisonous plants after all," says Wei Wuxian when he spots some lobed leaves with a nice tinge of red; he strips the plant of as many seeds as he can before heading towards the mountain terrain to check it out. He's probably been in the forest area for just over an hour – he's not the best at telling time by the sun, especially when he's under the cover of the trees – but he doesn't want to still be here with the sun sets, which will be soon.

Most of the other contestants will probably be here at night; the forest is just more comfortable than trying to find somewhere to sleep on rock. But that means that everyone will be clustered here, and that's when the real action will start. Not that Wei Wuxian is opposed to 'real action', he's certainly seen enough of it in his time here, but he'd prefer it if the remaining competing alphas were whittled down to a more manageable ten, or even eight first. He reckons that Huaisang is going to have a few chasing after him that'll take them out of the hunt for him at least. 

He crosses paths with scents a few times, some alpha and some omega, and doubles round to avoid them, smearing durian onto the foliage every so often. "If you can't tell, I really like to fuck with everyone's sense of smell," he murmurs to the drone. 

Wei Wuxian reaches the edge of the forest area and scans the patch of flat rock they came out near. There are a few suspicious stains, no one in sight. He legs it across, and heads towards the mountain side. It's not steep enough to be considered rock climbing, but Wei Wuxian does have to use both his hands and feet to get up the first bit, before what appears to be a path starts to wind up. No hint of anyone else's scent yet, and his durian odour is holding up. 

He finds a nice sheltered ledge, big enough for him to lie down on and not be seen from below. It's not protecting him from the wind at the moment since it's coming from the opposite direction, but that means that he'll smell anyone on their approach instead which is more helpful right now. There doesn't seem to be anyone round, and he takes a moment to chow down a light meal as he scans the terrain.

From here, he can see a solid patch of forest - the area he came through - which breaks out into a more open area of fields on the other side, and then backs onto the rocky hill that he's on now. He catalogues his options. The hill is good high ground, but there's no manoeuvre space if someone comes up and he'll have to go down for water. The forest is good cover, especially with the high, blasting sun, but difficult for him to see other people coming. The coastline will be useful if he wants to fish, and a good fighting ground if he needs it, but it's too open for him to want to deal with it right now.

It's a good island. He admires it impassively. There have been other seasons where the finale was spent with the contestants covered in mud and their own slick, miserable and rained on and not at all remotely sexy fighting for the whole time.

For now, he can stay here. He's got a list of things to do for his livestream – as a solo omega who's largely trying to stay away from everyone else, his feed runs the risk of getting boring, and if people switch onto other contestants' feeds then that also affects the sponsorships, viewership, likelihood of getting a gift package, etc etc. It's getting to the point where his body is complaining for another orgasm anyway, so he might as well bust out a few of the more vanilla things in his repertoire.

(It's largely unspoken that Wei Wuxian is known for essentially running a sex cam for views, but well, that is what people tune in to the finale for. He's just more open about it.)

By the third day, it's getting pretty lonely. Wei Wuxian smells the traces of other people passing back and forth as he moves around, never staying in one place too long. There are streaks of blood every so often. There's a suspiciously muddy patch in an otherwise dry stretch of dirt, suggesting that at least one couple have knotted up already. Near evening, when he's halfway through climbing up a tree to see if he might want to hammock himself into it for the night, he spots Lan Wangji doing much the same thing, except halfway up a cliff face.

It's not a big cliff, but it's still a cliff. Wei Wuxian actually stops for a hot second to watch and admire it. He must be a seasoned climber, packed power from his thighs pushing through into his toes as he jumps for a handhold that's just a little out of reach otherwise. He has some sort of stick, wedge thing that Wei Wuxian doesn't know the technical name of, which he uses to carabiner himself onto, and then proceeds to set up some sort of tiny hammock-tent-bag contraption right in the middle of the cliff. What the heck. And Wei Wuxian thought he was pretty good at survival skills.

It's also pretty impressive that he got hold of that equipment so quickly. There's sometimes climbing stuff in the random drops or hidden stashes, but Wei Wuxian has never bothered with it so Lan Wangji must have looked around until he found some or had a care package dropped in almost immediately. Damn, how rich is he? The care package options that viewers can contribute toward aren't cheap.

Lan Wangji finishes fixing up his tent, and then scales up the rest of the cliff, peeking his head over the top before pushing himself up with an impressive display of shoulder strength. He stands and surveys the scene quickly, and locks eyes with Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian waves from where he's still sort of hanging from a tree branch, points at the tent thing and gives him a thumbs up. It's too far for him to be able to tell what Lan Wangji's expression is, but he nods a bit? Maybe? And then turns into the patch of trees at the top of the cliff. Wei Wuxian hopes that didn't scare him off. It's not like Wei Wuxian is the one interested in shanking him in the middle of the night to eliminate the competition anyway, it's just the other alphas he's got to look out for.

Anyway, he goes back to climbing his tree - which seems pitifully low in comparison to that cliff face now - and finds a good intersection with a wide branch that he can mostly sleep on, surrounded by enough foliage that he won't be immediately visible from the ground, and proceeds to set himself up there. He can still kind of see the cliff from here, so he sees when he Lan Wangji climbs back down, this time a bag slung over his shoulder that he previously wasn't carrying filled with supplies. "That's impressive," Wei Wuxian murmurs to himself (and the fifty thousand people watching his livestream). "It's a shame he's not interested in knotting with anyone, he seems very competent. Good at the survival thing. Fuck, I hope someone fights him. Not because I want to see him lose, you know, but because I want to see him fight. He seems like he'd be good at it. Silent but deadly, that sort of thing."

It's getting dark now - exactly the reason Wei Wuxian had chosen to strap himself up for the night before he lost the ability to see what he was doing and likely the same reason Lan Wangji is already settled in his tent - so Wei Wuxian settles down for the night. There's always something, some major disruption that the production crew use to stir up shit, and getting in a nap at 9pm and being awoken at 2am is better than not getting any sleep at all.

Ω

He's right. Right on schedule, Wei Wuxian feels the difference in the wind and opens his eyes in the darkness. His back is aching, unsurprising given he's sleeping tied to a tree, and his ass is throbbing in need of a knot, and he's sweating in his layers. He doesn't know what's happened yet, but he unties his safety rope and gets himself ready.

Three years ago, it was swords. Every contestant had been given a sword, like they were in some kind of wuxia show. There had been a lot of injuries. It turns out that using sharp objects without practice was a bad idea, who knew? There had been enough injuries that viewers had taken to the internet forums to complain that there were too many injuries and not enough sexy naked wrestling ending in sex. Yes, Wei Wuxian is very aware that this show is deeply fucked up. That's why it's so popular.

Two years ago, it had been a surprise drop of rope products. Wei Wuxian assumed it was a product placement of some sort, but little packets had been parachuted across the island, filled with lengths of rope, rope nets, rope harnesses, rope nooses, the lot. That had quickly turned into carnage.

And last year, they had shipped in five new alpha contestants to up the ante.

He waits. Whatever it was just happened – the shift in the wind was the tell that something was in the sky. Lots of somethings, in fact; if he listens hard enough, he can tell the slight hum of rotor blades. They're very faint, so it's not a helicopter, but they're ever so slightly louder than the drones that follow them around.

And then he hears it, the thwip, thwip, of things falling through the sky. There's a rustle of leaves near him as something falls through the trees. He stays put for long enough, using the cover of the tree in case something hits him on the head, and he's getting ready to shin down the tree to see what it was when it finds him first.

A pungent punch of pheromones hits him in the face, undiluted, and he reels backward, almost falling off the branch. He gasps for fresh air, and only inhales another lungful of the stuff.

His body reacts physiologically to it – he can feel the slick swelling up in his ass, his saliva glands activating as his mouth feels with drool, his nipples harden until they rub uncomfortably against his robes, the hairs on his skin rise, and he starts sweating out pheromones of his own.

He feels almost nauseated by how much he needs to get knotted right now. He can't think of anything else – his vision is woozy and in the darkness he half-climbs, half-skids down the trees, scraping skin off his palms as he does so. He lands at the bottom and his knees buckle for a moment before holding his weight.

Wei Wuxian needs to find an alpha. He needs an alpha to fuck him and fill him up. He staggers, two steps, and the feeling intensifies until his stomach is roiling. That's where the thing hit, he realises dimly in the sliver of his mind that's still capable of rational thought. The pheromone bomb.

He can smell the faint strains of an alpha in the air, someone who passed by maybe a few hours ago. He follows it like a starving person enticed by a single waft of bread in the air, stumbling over the uneven ground.

Off in the distance, he can hear shouting, screaming. He can't tell if it's an alpha or an omega. Or both. He leans his head against the trunk of a tree, trying to get it to stop spinning for a moment. He's pheromone-drunk, he realises. Realising it doesn't help.

He keeps walking, or more accurately, swaying, towards the sounds. At some point, he inhales and realises that it's a breath of fresh air, not laced with pheromones. He gasps it in, sinking to the ground to give his twitching, over-stimulated muscles a moment of relief. He's still drunk, that initial hit already did that to him, but being out of range is a respite at least.

Wei Wuxian is a walking target, the way he is at the moment. Anyone coming across him, also bombed with pheromones, would be impossible to reason with or fend off. He has to find shelter, barricade himself in even from himself, when the urge to crawl out and find someone to knot him overtakes him.

"No! Get off!"

The shouting that Wei Wuxian has been hearing for a while finally solidifies into words. He hisses at the realisation that he hadn't even been able to parse words properly for the last few minutes.

It sounds like Xuanyu, Wei Wuxian realises, and goes from swaying on his feet to lurching into a run, adrenaline burning the pheromones out of his blood. He can feel it getting stronger when he runs into the radius of another pheromone bomb, the heady scent cloying like over-sweet perfume threatening to choke him. He pants, trying to breathe through his mouth, and his eyes are watering by the time he finally finds Mo Xuanyu.

There's the swing of a small lamp, mostly hidden by the foliage of the branch it's been stuck on, but it's enough to see the swaying shadows. The shouting has stopped, but Wei Wuxian can hear the grunts of struggle instead, the thick sound of human flesh smacking against muscle.

He's almost there, he just has to scrabble up a slight slope and then he launches himself at whoever it is. There's the sickening pop of some limb or other wrenching out of its socket from Mo Xuanyu's leg hooked around the back of the alpha's - atta boy, Wei Wuxian had taught him that self-defence move. 

"It's me," shouts Wei Wuxian as Mo Xuanyu rears his arm back for another attack. His clothes are dangling off him – the seam of one shoulder ripped out – and the contents of his bag are scattered across the ground, but he seems mostly unharmed otherwise.

"C'mon!" He pushes at the other man, peeling him off the ground. Mo Xuanyu's eyes are wavering in and out of focus, or maybe it's Wei Wuxian's doing the same, but Wei Wuxian grabs the lamp off the tree and tugs at him to turn towards where he knows the pheromones aren't as strong.

There's a scream from behind them, cracking with rage. Wei Wuxian wouldn't have thought that an alpha could carry on with his leg dislocated, but it's like the drugs have acerbated whatever feral instinct was already there.

"Go! I'll catch up!" Wei Wuxian shoves Mo Xuanyu in front of him, and braces himself for a fight. He can do a fight. The pheromones are fucking with his senses and his thighs are shaking with the need to just ram something up his ass and get fucked, but if they have that effect on him, they'll have that effect on everyone else too; it levels the playing field. He lowers his centre of gravity as he squares off, ready for someone to come running at him. All he has to do is stop them from getting to Xuanyu. He leans his weight onto the balls of his feet, ready for a side-step, a trip at the ankles, an elbow into the windpipe, an arm around the face and a quick jerk to snap the neck. He can see it playing out in his mind's eye.

Except someone else gets there first.

Wei Wuxian hears it coming from his left and barely steps back in time for a body to charge past him, head and shoulders lowered like a battering ram. It's Nie Mingjue. Wei Wuxian recognises him through the haze and the blurriness of his eyes – he can only see his back and his face is half obscured with some sort of cloth tied over the bottom half, but he's the only contestant left with that enormous stacked build. Wei Wuxian gets there just in time to see Mingjue slam into the side of the other alpha without even slowing down, his thighs straining as he heaves them off sideways with a roar.

"Damn," swears Mo Xuanyu from somewhere behind Wei Wuxian, which seems to sum up the situation very well. 

"This way," Wei Wuxian jerks his head, away from the alphas still fighting in the underbrush only about ten feet to their right, and away from the direction the closest pheromone bomb dropped.

Mo Xuanyu glances back just once, before they set off at a brisk walk, both of them still shaking from adrenaline. "I hope Mingjue wins."

"I'd bet on him anyway," says Wei Wuxian, trying to keep the conversation light. His stomach is roiling through, on the unholy cocktail of being in heat, extra pheromones, adrenaline, and alpha scent.

There's not going to be anywhere without extra pheromones, Wei Wuxian realises after they keep trying to skirt around the affected areas. They must have been spaced out to cover the entire grounds.

"I feel sick," groans Xuanyu quietly, leaning over to dry heave, his body trying to expel the smells in any way it knows how. Wei Wuxian tries not to hear it, because he's this close to doing the same thing himself.

It takes him longer to think of the answer than it would normally, his mind trying to catch the wisps of thought that keep wafting away. "Water," he gasps. "The river."

They put the lamp out once they've made it a bit away, sacrificing speed for being less noticeable. They've got turned around in the dark, Wei Wuxian no longer entirely sure where they are in relation to the tree he was in or the cliff face or where he found Mo Xuanyu, but even senseless lurching around in the dark is better than staying still in one place for too long and risking an alpha tracking them.

He tries to keep it together for Mo Xuanyu though, who is staggering along with the glazed look of someone who truly got spiked. He must have been closer to one of the pheromone bombs than Wei Wuxian was when they were set off. He nearly wilts in relief when he hears the faint sound of the river.

This isn't going to be pleasant. Wei Wuxian strips quickly and dunks himself into the river in one motion, preferring the 'get it over with approach'. He swears his body in heat meeting the cold water actually produces a few sizzling sounds and he quickly splashes himself all over to get used to it.

"I think the shock might just kill me," whispers Xuanyu, huddled on the bank. He is already shivering alarmingly. "I don't – I don't think I can do it."

Wei Wuxian looks up river, where he was planning to wade all the way up. He remembers the sound of a waterfall from earlier today. Probably not a big one, but water splashing continuously in the air is probably his best bet for air clean of pheromones.

"We should split up anyway," Xuanyu says quickly, before Wei Wuxian can try and convince him. "Omega packs are the worst idea."

Wei Wuxian stares at him from the river. There are things he wants to say, but his head is still too muddled. Something about how he feels responsible for Mo Xuanyu, about how Mo Xuanyu stands a better chance of staying alive with Wei Wuxian even if it's not true the other way around.

"I know," says Xuanyu quickly. "I know. I'll be fine."

Wei Wuxian shuts his mouth. Opens it again. "Wet a cloth and wrap it around your face," he says croakily, eventually. "Helps filter out the pheromones."

Mo Xuanyu smiles wobbily at him, and does what he's told. And then they split up.

Wei Wuxian crouches in the river and wades his way up, holding his bag over one side of the bank to keep it dry, and leaves Mo Xuanyu heading in the opposite direction. Wei Wuxian has made friends on the show before, but he's never cared about anyone who came so close to danger before. Most of the time, they can take care of themselves. It – it rattles him, he realises. Maybe he's losing his stomach for this show.

The waterfall comes within hearing before Wei Wuxian sees it, the crash of water upon water and rocks, and it's not until the shadow on the bank looms out at him that Wei Wuxian skitters sideways, his socked foot stepping on the edge of a hard rock.

"Fuck!" He swears, tossing his bag onto the bank so that both hands are free.

"Wei Wuxian." The shadow and the growl resolves itself as Lan Wangji emerging from the darkness.

Wei Wuxian gasps. "What the fuck."

"I heard the screaming. I came to – help," says Lan Wangji. There's something odd about him though, the way that he's standing. Wei Wuxian can't say that he actively noted the effortless posture that Lan Wangji always had, but it's evident now in the lack of it, the way it lists in one direction, weight shifting from one leg to another.

Lan Wangji steps forward – an uneven lurch that brings him to the edge of the river, and Wei Wuxian finds himself backing up the mud of the other bank.

"I'm fine. It was Mo Xuanyu. He's fine too," he explains, a lump in his throat as he watches the gleam of Lan Wangji eyes tracking him carefully.

"You're fine?" repeats Lan Wangji, lurching forward again, one foot into the river. "Really really?"

There's something so unusual about Lan Wangji's behaviour that makes Wei Wuxian want to head in the other direction. Like he's a toddler, or like he's – drunk. Oh, shit.

"It's pheromones. We all got hit with pheromone bombs," says Wei Wuxian carefully. "You're not thinking straight."

"Mn," agrees Lan Wangji. "Feel ghastly."

Wei Wuxian tries not to laugh-cry. "Yeah. Ghastly. That's a good way to put it."

Lan Wangji has stopped with one foot in the river. Maybe the coldness has got through to him. "You don't need my help," he states, almost sadly.

"N-no. Not this time. Next time, maybe," says Wei Wuxian.

"Next time," repeats Lan Wangji, closing his eyes and pressing a knuckle in at his temple like he's trying to stave off a migraine. "I don't feel myself."

He's never experienced this before, Wei Wuxian realises with sudden clarity. Wei Wuxian is used to being bombarded with scents he has no desire to act upon, the warring desire of his body to submit, to roll over, to get himself fucked, versus his mind.

"Is your tent still up?" asks Wei Wuxian. It takes him two tries for Lan Wangji to even hear him.

"Yes." Lan Wangji points at it, and now Wei Wuxian is looking for it, he can see the tent suspended on the side of the cliff. Drugged halfway up his senses, and Lan Wangji can still apparently scale a cliff. Wei Wuxian will let himself be so impressed once he's not panicking.

"Do you have a padlock?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Go back to your tent. Lock yourself in. Don't come out until the smells go away." It's really quite mediocre advice – Wei Wuxian has no doubt that if primal urges came over Lan Wangji and he really wanted to rip himself out of his tent, he would be perfectly capable – but Lan Wangji nods. Pulls his foot out of the river with a shlup sound and staggers back towards the cliff.

Wei Wuxian watches his shadow recede into the distance until it's just a little silhouette that scales the cliff and disappears into the little tent bundle. He exhales.

He sets up camp next to the waterfall eventually. It's small as waterfalls go, the height of the water dropping from barely twice Wei Wuxian's height, but it's enough. He dries himself off as best as he can and huddles up next to it, close enough that under any other circumstances he'd be annoyed that the spray is keeping him damp and soaked through, but the cleanliness of the air is worth it tonight. He can warm up once the sun rises and the day starts to heat up.

He dozes restlessly and wakes up aching from muscles locked in place for too long. He showers directly under the freezing waterfall, taking the opportunity to also wank quickly and efficiently, his heat making him restless but sluggish.

It might take him longer than he would like to get going, but Wei Wuxian dries himself off quickly and stretches himself out slowly. Being limber in the finale is important – there won't be time to accommodate a strain or pulled muscle if he needs to get away from someone quick.

Also, it gives the drone camera some shots of his ass bobbing in the air after being presumably denied of any exciting alpha wrestling action last night.

He's almost done when Lan Wangji approaches – this time, in full view, no sneaking up required. He looks much more composed than last night. He averts his eyes as Wei Wuxian wraps his robes still damp around himself.

"Morning. You survived the pheromone bombs then?" asks Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji always looks pretty put together – it's amazing, actually, how clean and neat he can look after camping – but this morning, Wei Wuxian can see a few frayed edges on him. He looks like a man who spent all night in desperate horniness and is trying to pretend he didn't.

Wei Wuxian tends to just lean into the whole looking like a hot mess thing.

"Good morning. Thank you for your advice last night. Are you all right?"

"Yep! Uncomfortably damp all over, but better than getting snuck up on." Wei Wuxian squelches into his socks. Eh, they'll dry soon enough in the 30 degree weather.

"You slept with wet hair?" Lan Wangji sounds appalled. "You'll catch a cold."

The laughter burbles out of Wei Wuxian before he can stop it. "That's what you're worried about? You sound like my popo." He pauses, and considers. "Actually, no, popo would never say that."

The tips of Lan Wangji's ears are going red, which is adorable.

"Sorry," says Wei Wuxian. "I didn't mean to – it's very considerate of you. But you have to admit, sleeping with wet hair is really not the worst thing to happen to any of us on this programme."

"I suppose so," concedes Lan Wangji.

The conversation starts to falter. Wei Wuxian is just about fully dressed, and he needs to start moving before the coolness of his clothes start sapping warmth from his muscles.

"Stay safe," says Lan Wangji eventually.

"You too. You're not planning on just hanging out there for two weeks, are you?" Wei Wuxian nods towards the little hanging tent.

From the carefully blank look on his face, that's exactly what Lan Wangji planned to do.

"Oh come on, that makes for terrible TV," says Wei Wuxian, biting back his laughter. "Are you sure there aren't any omegas you want to try and knot? We're a good bunch this year."

Lan Wangji looks down at his feet, then at Wei Wuxian, back at his feet.

"Oh, shit. Is there?"

"I had thought –" starts Lan Wangji. "Maybe there was something. But they are – unavailable."

Oh wow, maybe this show really does work. Even the stoic Lan Wangji, who had no interest in anyone four weeks ago, has found someone that he might like.

"That's rough," says Wei Wuxian. "Keep trying though, you're totally a catch."

Ω

Running is the option most omegas go for when they're being chased. Wei Wuxian tries not to, because the ground is usually littered with rocks and fallen branches and stuff that is catnip for sprained ankles. That only holds true for if it's an alpha chasing him though.

Forest fires, on the other hand... Yeah, he's sort of got to try and outrun that.

The weather's been dry and hot and, frankly, stunning after that first storm in the early weeks, which of course means that the fire leaps easily from dry tree branch to dry tree branch. Dimly, Wei Wuxian wonders if this was deliberate. Burning their contestants alive isn't in the name of the game though; ratings are much higher from watching two people kill each other face to face rather than watching some natural disaster happen to them.

Wei Wuxian's never dealt with a forest fire before, but he's adaptable. He has transferable skills on his resume. He's looking for one of three things: the wide stream that comes in from the beach, the edge of the forest leading onto the beach itself, or a stretch of land that has no vegetation - so beach or stone or something. He's kept a fairly good mental outline of where things are in the week or so he's been out here now. The ideal direction to run in would be towards the villas, since they were right on the beach, but he's the wrong side of the island for that. He's got to hope that if he keeps going in this direction, he'll get to the other end of the island and hit the sea on the other side.

He can hear shouting. It's to the side of him - not towards the fire, but not away from it either. Shit, he can't leave people here. He can kill them quickly, yeah, but leaving anyone to burn alive would be horrific, and it might be another omega. He really hopes it's not Huaisang or Mo Xuanyu.

It's not, but the alternative isn't much better. He sees Lan Wangji and Wang Lingjiao, who's the one shouting. She's raising her hands and trying to hit him, like a little hammer beating on his shoulders, and he grabs her by both wrists and holds her away from him. He says something, but Wei Wuxian is too far away to hear what.

"Hey!" He shouts, voice muffled by the smoke and heat. "Get out of here, the fire's going to catch up soon!"

Wang Lingjiao makes to hit Lan Wangji again, when someone steps in and she stops. Fuck, Wei Wuxian didn't even see Wen Xu in the shadows there. He hefts something in both hands and swings. This time, Wei Wuxian hears the crack when the wood beam he's holding makes contact with Lan Wangji's leg.

Lan Wangji sways, and drops to one knee. Wen Xu swings Wang Lingjiao over his shoulder and is gone by the time Wei Wuxian sprints forward.

"Lan Wangji! Are you all right?" Smoke rushes into Wei Wuxian's mouth when he opens his mouth – stupid, but he couldn't help himself. He coughs out once, and puts his sleeve over his face again.

Lan Wangji's still crouched over, his face hidden from Wei Wuxian, but he can see his back heaving.

"Come on," says Wei Wuxian, trying to project through the fabric. "The fire's getting closer."

He reaches out so Lan Wangji can see him before he makes contact, and then slings one of his arms over Wei Wuxian's shoulder and pulls himself upright. It's easy to keep track of where the fire is, the red and yellow crackling a constant flicker at the side of his vision. They hobble forward, and it's lucky that Wei Wuxian is slightly shorter than Lan Wangji; they seem to fall into step relatively easy, and Wei Wuxian can tell that Lan Wangji is trying not to hold him back even on one leg.

They keep going towards the sea; the island isn't that big, it's got to be close. But Wei Wuxian can see something looming in the shadows, too solid to be trees, which means that they're going to get cut off on this path.

"There," says Lan Wangji suddenly, tapping Wei Wuxian on the shoulder and then pointing. He squints, trying to see past the smoke and the shadows, until the blacks become layered.

"A cave, excellent," says Wei Wuxian, veering them towards it with renewed vigour. "Let me scout ahead and see how big it is first. If it's too small, it won't protect us from the fire, we'll just get cooked inside or suffocate when it burns all the oxygen."

Lan Wangji nods, possibly, and props himself up on the stretch of stone that rises up above them – deliciously cool stone that Wei Wuxian takes a moment to press against his fire warmed and heat warmed skin – while Wei Wuxian heads into the cave. It's a small opening that only goes up to his shoulders, which will be annoying if that's the height all the way in but still better than being roasted alive.

Historically, caves have been great places to hide. The production team pick a different locale each year for the show so that previous contestants don't have a terrain advantage, but still. Historically, any caves available have been great places to hide. Wei Wuxian doesn't like to stay in them for too long – anything that only has one entrance also only has one exit – but this one is much bigger than anything he's ever been in. He hadn't even thought that islands like this would have such large caves.

It's a shame he's only having this thought after he wriggled through the entrance and then discovered that the ground slid sharply downwards and he'd rolled straight down it and now he can't get back up.

Under any normal circumstances, Wei Wuxian would be panicking more. Something along the lines of 'Oh shit, I'm going to die in here'. However, Lan Wangji knows he's here and a tiny little camera drone had almost immediately followed him in, so worst case scenario is that he needs to be rescued at the end of the show, which is embarrassing but at least not life threatening.

"Wei Wuxian!"

Wei Wuxian can hear the cry faintly from above. "I'm fine," he calls back, swinging his electric torch around so Lan Wangji can locate him. "The entrance goes down pretty steeply, just wasn't expecting it! I don't know if I can get back up, you probably shouldn't – come down."

Oh, he came down already. At least he'd heard the bit about the entrance going down; Lan Wangji had seated himself and slid down smoothly, his injured leg cradled up out of the way with one arm.

"And now we're both stuck down here," he murmurs.

"We still need shelter from the fire," Lan Wangji reminds him, and looks up at the entrance to where Wei Wuxian can see flashes of red and orange already peeking in. He's wearing a headlamp. Damn, Wei Wuxian can't believe that in four years of doing this show, he's never thought to ask for a headlamp. It would have freed his hands up so many times. On the other hand – hard to make a headlamp sexy.

"Yeah, at least this place seems pretty big, and solid stone. Here," says Wei Wuxian, helping Lan Wangji back up again. "Let's take stock of our options before we do anything."

The cave is way bigger on the inside than it appeared to be outside. It stretches downwards into the earth, surrounding them by rock on all sides. It echoes, their footsteps reverberating over and over back at them. On the plus side, Wei Wuxian can't hear anything else in the echoes, no animal noises or ominous dripping of unknown water, which is great.

They walk through the first chamber, where a tunnel leads into a second. This one has a lake inside it.

"I knew we had to be close to the sea," says Wei Wuxian, trying to see if the lake opens out anywhere directly. Looks like it doesn't, which means its water source is somewhere at the bottom of the lake, which is a shame. "Okay, well. This doesn't feel like a bad spot to take stock of our situation. We're one cave removed from the forest fire, we have water and it's late. I say we stay here for the night and then figure out what to do after some sleep."

Ω

The show doesn't like their contestants to get too much sleep. Wei Wuxian knows this, has always known this. Anything that adds a bit more pressure on the contestants and throws their decision making and reflexes off makes for more exciting television.

But he honestly didn't expect a second natural disaster right on the heels of the first.

"Oh, we're going to die here," he says, far too calmly given that the cave is, well, caving in. Lan Wangji is heaving himself to his feet and Wei Wuxian hurries up so that he can steady him.

"The other side," says Lan Wangji tersely.

Wei Wuxian is going to have to trust that he knows what he's talking about, because while he has pretty decent survival knowledge, not much of it is to do with spelunking. He just helps Lan Wangji hop in the direction that he's pointing, not stopping until Lan Wangji looks around them and nods.

"Smaller caverns are less likely to sustain damage," says Lan Wangji as he leans against the wall of the small niche in the wall they're ensconced in.

"Oh! Like doorways," says Wei Wuxian.

It looks like it takes Lan Wangji a moment to make the same connection, but he nods. "Similar concept."

"How did the production crew even engineer an earthquake?" asks Wei Wuxian, looking out across at the cavern, from which occasional bits of rubble are falling from the top.

"It's not an earthquake, the ground isn't shaking," says Lan Wangji. Oh.

"Well what is it then?" says Wei Wuxian mulishly. He pulls himself back straight after that comes out – he can tell when he's starting to lose his grip on himself, between the heat and the exhaustion and the – everything. Exactly like the show wants him to do. He breathes in, and out. It's not Lan Wangji's fault he didn't notice the ground shaking, and it's certainly not his fault that Wei Wuxian is feeling irrational embarrassment at getting a small detail wrong.

It's luck, really, that Wei Wuxian is with someone who answers evenly instead of letting Wei Wuxian's tension rile him up. "Possibly a landslide somewhere above us. The fire might have affected some of the island's infrastructure."

There's nothing to do but wait it out. Every so often, the ceiling rumbles, and they hear the sound of rubble thudding to the ground.

"It looks like it's subsiding," says Wei Wuxian dubiously, peering out as far as they can see with his torch and Lan Wangji's headlamp.

"No," says Lan Wangji tersely. "It means that –"

The rest of his words are drowned out with a horrendous groaning sound that sounds like rock is being ripped apart above them, a terrible grating sound that escalates into a cacophony of rocks falling in the back of the cavern, the sound getting closer and closer to them until Wei Wuxian realises what's going to happen next, sees it happen almost in slow motion.

He throws himself over Lan Wangji, still leaning against the wall, and braces himself just in time for a chunk of the cavern to collapse into the lake with a crack, the enormous tidal wave after that surging up across the cavern to smack Wei Wuxian against the back.

He gasps, with the cold, the wetness, the impact, and staggers forward into Lan Wangji's chest as it recedes.

"Wei Wuxian!" Lan Wangji stares at him with wide eyes. His headlamp is kind of blinding Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian sags to the floor, Lan Wangji half catching him, half getting dragged down at the same time. He wants to say something, to reassure Lan Wangji that he's fine, but the water punched all of the air out of his lungs and he's gasping for air, and his entire back feels like he's been whipped and all of his ribs feel cracked and his head feels woozy so – he's probably not fine, actually.

"M'kay," he wheezes, because he is nothing if not stubborn. And then he passes out.

He only passes out for like, a second though, so does it even count? His body just got a bit indignant at everything he's been putting it through and getting a full body slap from a tidal wave was the last straw, and he just needed to do a soft reset, and now he's fine.

"It would have been bad if that hit your broken leg full force," he says weakly once the white spots in his vision fade. Lan Wangji is hovering over him furiously. "Stop looking at me like that, would it be better if we were both completely soaked in a cave?"

The fact that Lan Wangji is vibrating with anger but not actually saying anything is a good sign, Wei Wuxian decides. It means that he's right, but Lan Wangji doesn't want to admit it. Probably.

Lan Wangji's headlamp is the only light they have left – Wei Wuxian had dropped his torch and it had been washed away when the water receded – and a good amount of their stuff is soaking wet.

It takes a couple of hours for Wei Wuxian to realise why Lan Wangji is so worried. (Because, he has realised, that's what the anger is. Concern. It's new to him, in his defence.)

Caves are a whole different beast to camping. The cold stone leeches warmth away from his body when he tries to sit down, same when he tries to lean against the wall. Being wet makes it all worse. Even in his heat, Wei Wuxian can feel his body warmth being sapped away quicker than he can generate it. They've wrung his clothes out as best as they can, but the thin material that makes it perfect for running around in the sunny outside is terrible insulation when he needs it.

"Again, better me than you," retorts Wei Wuxian when Lan Wangji looks angry again. "At least my body is naturally running a few degrees higher than normal at the moment."

At least the landslide seems to have subsided, the last cave-in the worst of the lot. Wei Wuxian had taken the headlamp and gone to see the damage, reasoning that the movement would help keep him warm.

It's not until he steps out of range that he realises that part of what's keeping him on edge is Lan Wangji's alpha scent. He breathes in air that smells of stone dust and nothing else as he slowly unclenches his stomach. It must be a hundred times worse for Lan Wangji with Wei Wuxian in heat.

A sudden stab of desire courses his through his gut and Wei Wuxian sways forward with a groan, steadying himself against the wall.

"Wei Wuxian?"

Of course Lan Wangji had heard it.

"Nothing," he calls back, taking a moment to wipe the sweat off his upper lip. He's just going to have to clench his ass and try and stop the slick escaping.

"The entire far end is gone," he reports back after an extended walk around, coming back when the breeze caused by his own body walking around is too much for him to bear. Yes, he's aware that it is probably a very bad sign.

"The lake is flooding a good chunk of the bit we were in, but it looks like the way we came in is unaffected – and dry. Looks like the entrance is still clear too, and the fire has been dealt with. I couldn't see any orange and yellow through it in any case." He's out of breath by the time he finishes. Out of breath from just speaking.

"You should leave me here," says Lan Wangji once they relocate to a drier cave. "I have some climbing equipment, you could make–"

"Yeah, no," says Wei Wuxian, nearly biting through his tongue with his clattering teeth.

"Ridiculous," says Lan Wangji, scowling. "You're going catch a cold, your hair is wet."

Despite himself, Wei Wuxian smiles. Especially since more realistically he's already far bypassed the common cold and is well on his way to hypothermia. "This again. Such a mother, Lan Wangji. I'll make a fire."

He's not going to say it, but it's a relief to have someone else here. Being alone and paranoid about being in the presence of anyone else for two whole weeks is the worst part of the Hot Or Knot finale, so it's good to have some company.

Wei Wuxian would rather not have break his other leg to throw Lan Wangji off, but he will if he has to. And if any of the alphas were to go stir-crazy from the amount of pheromones of being trapped in an enclosed space with an omega in heat and lose control, Lan Wangji's a good choice of a bad option. He's already dragged himself so that he's sitting upstream of Wei Wuxian, don't think Wei Wuxian hasn't noticed.

"I'll be fine," says Lan Wangji again.

Wei Wuxian starts sifting through the rubble on the ground to find the fallen tree branches and twigs. It's a meagre selection, but it gives him something to focus on. He can't feel his feet anymore, which is worrying since that probably means something is seriously wrong but actually kind of useful because that means they've stopped with the stabs of pain with every step he takes.

"You're going to lose," he says eventually.

"Oh, the shame," says Lan Wangji, so dryly that Wei Wuxian doesn't even register it as deadpan for a moment. And then the laugh punches its way out of his chest, making his drop half his branches. Ow, that actually hurt.

Wei Wuxian coughs, clearing the phlegm from his lungs. Oh, that's not a good sign on the pneumonia front. "Fuck me, you're not allowed to be that funny," he gasps.

"I apologise," says Lan Wangji, and there might me the ghost of a smile in the corner of his lips.

Wei Wuxian picks up all his wood again, and waits for the pain in his chest to subside and the rattling sound of his breathing to be less noticeable.

"I know you're not bothered about losing, but there's still four days left," he says eventually, picking out two pieces of wood that look like they'd be straight enough to use as a split. "Having a broken leg this far away from the end usually means you'll either get worse injuries or you won't survive until the end. And if you do survive, your leg will be fucked forever."

"No one's going to bother to fight me. I haven't knotted anyone and I won't be trying to poach anyone."

Wei Wuxian sweeps the twigs into the space between them and starts arranging. A lot of these are a bit damp from all the water splashing around, but maybe they'll dry out by the time he needs to feed the fire again. He rummages around in his pack for his lighter and manages to get a tiny spark going before he speaks again. "I'll go if you want me to after this. I know having an omega near you puts you in trouble if people start smelling me. But first at least let me sort out this fire and help set your leg."

"Thank you," says Lan Wangji. He's quiet for a long time too. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't want you – here."

Wei Wuxian holds out the two pieces of wood he'd picked out earlier. Lan Wangji hesitates a moment before leaning forward to take them from him. Their fingers brush, Wei Wuxian can see it, but his hands are too cold to feel it.

It was ambiguous in the end, Wei Wuxian decides, as to whether Lan Wangji wanted him to go after all. And muscle aching tiredness is creeping up on him, and he's cold and numb and the little flicker of warmth from the fire feels good, and he feels nauseous if he moves too much - probably something to do with how his heat is trying to heat him up feverishly and whatever concoction of hypothermia/pneumonia is cooling him down and he drops off before he even notices it. He'll go in the morning if Lan Wangji still wants him to.

Ω

Chapter Text

Wei Wuxian wakes alone. He feels - weird. He breathes evenly through his nose, trying to catalogue what all the different sensations are. He's toasty warm on one side but cold on the other, so he rolls over to warm his other side. In the process, he discovers the giant bruise across his back that's presumably from getting whacked by an entire lake's worth of water. He hisses, but there isn't the telltale sharp pain that would indicate broken ribs at least. There's muscle aches from sleeping on the ground, that's normal. There's - oh, yeah, the physical signs of being in heat. Morning wood and a damp patch under his ass and the wet feeling of slick dripping out between his asscheeks, that's always fun. He really needs a way to clean his buttplug and get it back in because otherwise he's this close to just stuffing it in and popping some cranberry pills later in the hopes he doesn't catch something.

He sits up, and something slides against his sensitive cock, taking it from half-mast to fully erect. Wha-? Wei Wuxian looks down at his blanket. He doesn't remember having a white blanket. It's also - oh. The moment he sits upright, the smell of it hits him. Sandalwood and sweat. It's Lan Wangji's. And it's not a fucking blanket, it's his coat.

A wave of desire washes him so suddenly that he gasps - inhaling another lungful of that scent. His hands clench compulsively into the white fabric and he smashes his face into it, breathing in deep breaths of alpha pheromones. It helps with the heat, because it kind of convinces his body that there's an alpha nearby who's going to help out with this fucking heat, but it also really doesn't, because now his body really wants that alpha to be here, right now.

And, as previously noticed, Wei Wuxian is alone.

He throws the coat off him so suddenly even the change in temperature leaves him shaking. It's - oh yeah, it's all coming back to him now. It was probably naive to think that Lan Wangji hadn't noticed that he was close to hypothermia. The fire is steady now, and there are larger branches and logs stacked up next to it in a woodpile. How long has he been asleep? There's no way that Lan Wangji managed to gather all of this on a broken leg; he might be good, but there just isn't that much wood down here.

His suspicions are confirmed when he spots the little covered basket behind his head, previously unnoticed. An airdrop from the public. In the basket is Gatorade, and some calorie dense foods. Holy shit, Lan Wangji got an airdrop to get wood for their fire and stuff to help Wei Wuxian. He's simultaneously grateful – and terrified as to what deal Lan Wangji made for it. Contestants can only get airdrops through either money or votes. Wei Wuxian gets the one from popo each year, and then the sex related ones with sex toys and supplies pretty easily by virtue (hah!) of being a giant exhibitionist, but the ones that are actually helpful are far and few in between. And this was not a small airdrop.

And Lan Wangji didn't even stick around to use it all. Wei Wuxian runs his hands through his hair, tugging at it in frustration.

"Lan Wangji, you beautiful bastard," he says out loud, knowing that there's a camera drone somewhere out there capturing this. "What the fuck?"

He realises pretty quickly that even if the coat is riddled with complications on the whole heat and pheromone front, he should probably put it back over himself. He's already wearing a shirt that's not his own that's covered in Lan Wangji's scent, so the coat can't hurt more. The fire's good, but given how alarmingly quickly he'd faded into unconciousness earlier and how out of it he must have been for the last few hours, he's still got to be careful. He pulls it on as an actual coat, tying it around his waist where it falls open. Lan Wangji's a bit bigger than him; it drapes down his shoulders and clinches in at the waist, which just means that it's comfortably loose which is one small relief for how sensitive Wei Wuxian's skin is at the moment. He ignores his hard-on (which had been starting to flag and then renewed its interest once he put the coat on, urgh, he wishes his body would just be consistent) in favour of downing half a bottle of Gatorade. Mm, electrolytes. At the very least, he won't let Lan Wangji's work go to waste by passing straight back out again.

It takes about ten minutes of huddling by the fire and eating contemplatively for him to feel much more human again, and start thinking of his next move.

So, he has options. The first one would be staying put. He's feeling better, he's got supplies and there's less than four days left until the end of the finale. It's a pretty good hidey hole and he might well win if he just stayed here. But if someone discovers him here, it's a bottleneck and he's trapped.

Plus, that defies the spirit of the show. People aren't going to watch his stream if he just camps out in a cave for three days, and in the long-term, the PR and sponsorships that come in after the show is what's given him financial security, and they depend on him having a charisma and personality.

So, no sticking around. There must be a way out of here if Lan Wangji is gone, and it can't involve too much physical exertion if he managed it with a broken leg. Wei Wuxian is still munching on some Swedish energy bar and contemplating it when he hears the shift of movement. Shit - he doesn't have time to put out the fire. He grabs a branch from it instead, holding it in front of himself, making the shadows leap.

The smell hits him a moment before the person rounds the corner, and Wei Wuxian yelps, dropping the branch and singeing the hem of the coat.

"Lan Wangji!" He scolds, quickly stamping out the licks of flame and kicking the branch back into the fire. His voice is a little too high, a little too panicked. Maybe he's less okay than he thought he was. "You startled me!"

"Wei Wuxian, you're awake." Lan Wangji sounds relieved, and hurries forward. He's shirtless now and one leg of his trousers are bulked up, the shape of the splint showing through the fabric. He's walking with a cane, with his backpack on his back and Wei Wuxian's backpack on his front. Fuck, Wei Wuxian hadn't even noticed that was missing, and that's usually the first thing he looks for. "Why are you standing up? You had pneumonia, you should lie down."

"I-" Wei Wuxian mouths at him wordlessly. "I didn't know who it was. Why do you have my backpack?"

"I'm sorry. I borrowed it for supplies." He sets it down quickly, hands up, keeping his distance. All the right things to do to not scare a spooked omega. Goddamnit.

"Oh. Um, thanks. Sorry, for the, you know. Fire." Wei Wuxian sits down, and gestures that Lan Wangji should do the same. He has the feeling that if he stays standing so will Lan Wangji, and he's not the one with a broken leg right now.

Lan Wangji starts unpacking, and Wei Wuxian can only stare. There's food, wrapped packages of nuts and fruit, which are set into the now spare space in the basket. There's a couple of blankets, and Lan Wangji tuts at the splatter of blood on the side of one, and sets it apart. 'Foraged' from other people's supplies then.

There's an assortment of herbs - Wei Wuxian recognises the ones that help healing and colds and so on – and uh, poisons which Wei Wuxian also recognises. Also a good choice: Wei Wuxian picks any poisons he sees purely to keep other people from getting to them. Lan Wangji probably isn't intending on using them on him given he very easily could have done anything he wanted while Wei Wuxian was unconscious.

And now Wei Wuxian has had that thought, he can't help but wonder. It doesn't feel like Lan Wangji did anything to him when he squeezes his ass subtly, and his heat is still going as strong as ever with no sign of being sated. 

Wei Wuxian is used to having inappropriate boners. He can't really be a contestant on this show multiple years in a row without being okay with it. But suddenly his cock is twitching its interest at the idea of Lan Wangji doing something to him while he was asleep and wow, that's fucked up. His ass clenches as a little spurt of slick drips out, and he can feel the heat rising up his face.

Holy fucking shit, is he blushing?

Lan Wangji is breathing kind of heavily, which Wei Wuxian can see because his chest is heaving and he's shirtless.

"Why are you shirtless?" asks Wei Wuxian. That can't be sensible. Yes, Wei Wuxian spends most of his time here wearing skimpy clothes, but Lan Wangji doesn't exactly seem like the type to get his tits out. He didn't even go shirtless on the beach during the dating show portion, even if the wet white t-shirt was hardly much more.

Lan Wangji blinks. "I - you. You were cold. And... dying."

Oh. Oh yeah. He's probably shirtless because Wei Wuxian is literally wearing his shirt. That's embarrassing.

It's the way he's looking at Wei Wuxian - or more accurately, the way he's not looking at Wei Wuxian - that finally tips him off. Oh fuck, yeah. They've swapped places now. Originally, Lan Wangji was propped up against the back of the cave with his bad leg and Wei Wuxian was near the tunnel so that Lan Wangji was upstream of Wei Wuxian's pheromones and now Wei Wuxian is the one upstream, which means that Lan Wangji has been getting a full face of his pheromones ever since he got back.

His control is like steel, huh. If Wei Wuxian didn't feel so guilty about it, he'd say something admiring. He'd got half a whiff of Lan Wangji's scent second-hand from his coat and promptly lost his head for a solid minute. He shuffles around carefully to get another bottle of Gatorade from the basket, putting himself out of direct scent passage at least. He doesn't want to draw attention to it when Lan Wangji obviously hasn't mentioned it.

"It's so lucky I nearly died from hypothermia," he says. "The audience - and me, I'm very much part of the audience here - would never have got to see you shirtless otherwise."

Lan Wangji looks kind of upset that Wei Wuxian is making a joke at his own expense, which is... really sweet. Also, guilt inducing.

"Ah, sorry, Lan Wangji. I am really grateful, you know. I don't think I realised how out of it I was until I passed out." Wei Wuxian props his arms on his knees and his chin on his arms, bundling the coat in question around him. There are blankets available now, but he kind of hopes Lan Wangi won't ask for his clothes back. Not least because he can feel that there's a giant slick stain up the back that's steadily growing.

"The second time," says Lan Wangji.

"What?"

"You passed out twice," Lan Wangji reminds him. He'd almost forgotten about that. In hindsight, it was probably very obvious how badly Wei Wuxian was doing, even if he thought he was hiding it well.

"Ah. Yes, so I did. It's strange how you can think you're thinking clearly when you're on the verge of delusion," says Wei Wuxian, casting his mind back. He couldn't feel his feet, for fucks sake, why did he think he was fine?

Lan Wangji finishes peeling his mandarin orange, and tosses the peel into the fire. It crackles, the smell of orange peel filling the air. "You were unconscious for three days," he says eventually, like he didn't know whether he needed to say it.

"I - what. Three days?" Wei Wuxian gapes. "You're shitting me."

Lan Wangji looked after him for three days, that's insane. And he doesn't even look bothered about it, just sticking half of his clementine into the side of the basket and then nudging the basket towards Wei Wuxian. "You should drink more, it was hard to make sure you were hydrated in your sleep."

"I - yeah," says Wei Wuxian weakly. He polishes off the Gatorade. "Did anyone come by? Has the bell rung? Or-" Wei Wuxian stops. Breathes in and exhales slowly. "Sorry. If you don't mind, can you tell me what's happened since I was awake?"

Lan Wangji starts peeling a second clementine. "Death toll is four. Two of them I don't know who, because I can't see the display from in here. You were going cold, even with your heat, and my leg got infected. I negotiated for an airdrop to give us supplies and medicines-" he extends his hand to indicate, like Wei Wuxian might have not noticed the freaking logs, "-and the audience were generous. We've been discovered three times, all within the last twenty-four hours. The last one just now, before I went outside. I wanted to see how easy the opening was to find and see how easily we might be able to get in and out. The landslide has been somewhat cleared, I suspect as an intervention by the programme."

"Probably within the last twenty-four hours then if that's when people started finding us," says Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji nods.

Wei Wuxian assumes - from the blood splatter and the extra blankets and the way Lan Wangji only doesn't know who two of the dead are - that Lan Wangji killed the other two alphas unnamed. He feeds the fire another logs, and runs through his mental list of remaining alphas. He hopes it wasn't Mingjue for Huaisang's sake, or Lan Xichen for Lan Wangji's sake, or Wen Ning for Wen Qing's sake.

It's not the first time he's thought this, but all of a sudden, Wei Wuxian feels too old to be participating in this anymore. He's too attached to people now, made especially difficult this year because everyone seems to have a family member in the show too. He's always thought it an advantage that the only person he's had to worry about is himself.

"I hope your brother's okay," he says.

Lan Wangji inclines his head. "He's skilled."

Wei Wuxian doesn't bother to point out that skill isn't everything here; they already both know that.

"If you want to move on, you can," says Wei Wuxian. How strange it is for Wei Wuxian to be the one saying that now. "Not that I mean you should leave. But if you were making sure that nothing happened to me, you don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm all set up to fight anyone around here and you don't have to get caught in the crossfire." You don't have to kill people for my sake anymore, is what he doesn't say.

Lan Wangji puts another half a clementine into the basket and spins it to face Wei Wuxian. That's a 'no' then.

"Alright. I get the hint. We stick together."

They're already in the last 48 hours. From experience, Wei Wuxian has found that the competition becomes a pressure cooker in the last 48 hours. Anyone who's been playing a long game and who had formed temporary alliances is reconsidering their options now. Omegas with the security of being knotted to an alpha are paranoid, remaining alphas are getting desperate to find an omega, unknotted omegas are going crazy from their heats, the constant flood of pheromones is emotionally edging everyone and affecting everyone's decision making...

Speaking of which. There is one disadvantage of Wei Wuxian sticking it out with Lan Wangji.

"Have you had a chance to take a look around the area?" asks Wei Wuxian, way too casually for it to be remotely casual.

Lan Wangji nods. "The chamber we're in is one of three that branch off from the cavern with the lake in. I would consider the lake to no longer be a clean source of water after the landslide, there's a small hole at the top of this cavern where the smoke leaves but it's not big enough for someone to fit through. There's the original entrance we came in through. It was partially blocked off by the landslide but has been cleared away. And there's a string of tunnels down one of the caverns we didn't go in which other contestants came in through."

Wei Wuxian holds a hand up. "Hang on. You climbed the wall of this cavern with a broken leg?"

Lan Wangji blinks at him as if to ask what, as if that's hard? which is fair enough given Wei Wuxian has seen him scale a sheer cliff using his fingertips.

"Okay, never mind that. The other chambers, um. Are they... safe?"

It's hard to get his meaning across without being crass about it, so couching it in euphemisms is the best he can do. Lan Wangji considers him carefully, like he's not quite getting it.

"One is occupied," he says. What does that mean? Oh wait, ha, that's hilarious, he's also speaking in euphemisms. Right, that's probably where he put the dead bodies in that case. Wei Wuxian is getting better at deciphering what Lan Wangji is saying, he thinks.

"I might go and make use of the third one, in that case," says Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji frowns at him. Wei Wuxian looks back. Ah, he doesn't get it. He picks up his empty backpack, and repacks his things back into it - the bag of sex toys at least - and hefts it onto his back. "I'll - be back," he says, and flees.

Or, well, he tries to, anyway. Lan Wangji is between him and the exit, so Lan Wangji manages to intercept him quite easily.

"If you are uncomfortable being near me, then I will move," he says, and proceeds to take his shirtless ass towards the exit, which, no, is not what Wei Wuxian meant.

"No, I can't kick you out!" Wei Wuxian reaches out to grab him and pull him back - which he does. They fall backwards, into a heap, and Wei Wuxian isn't sure who's more surprised, him or Lan Wangji.

"I forgot you had a bum leg," he admits sheepishly, staring up the ceiling of the tunnel. Yanking a guy with a broken leg off his feet is the definition of uncool. "I just - you got the fire and the blankets and everything sorted. I can't kick you out of there."

"You need the fire, you have hypothermia," says Lan Wangji from somewhere on top of him. Okay, yeah that's a pretty decent argument on his part.

Wei Wuxian starfishes against the floor. Being horizonal feels really good actually, he hadn't realised the low-grade dizziness until it went away. "It's not like a permanent thing. I just need to take care of, you know, some stuff by myself and then, yeah."

He more practically sees the lightbulb turn on in Lan Wangji's head as he sits up and picks himself gingerly off Wei Wuxian. For one thing, the entirety of his neck and his ears are pink. That's fucking adorable.

"I - see. I didn't mean to - you can do that also in the room with the fire. I'll patrol, and make sure there aren't any other alphas nearby." Lan Wangji limps off briskly before Wei Wuxian can grab him again.

"Wait! Lan Wangji, wait - fuck. At least take the cane with you," says Wei Wuxian, crawling back into the cave proper so he can grab the tip of it and toss it towards Lan Wangji. "Be careful," he says, heart pounding. This feels awfully close to an alpha protecting his omega. Even if Wei Wuxian isn't his omega.

It takes a moment for the adrenaline to settle. It takes another moment for Wei Wuxian to realise that it's not adrenaline he's waiting for to settle, it's that he's just really fucking horny. Usually during his heats, he's taking the edge off himself with hands and toys pretty constantly, at least several times a day. He's never been ill and unconscious so long, no wonder his body is gagging for it. Especially if it can sense it's been near an alpha for all that time.

Wei Wuxian waits for just long enough that Lan Wangji rounds the end of the tunnel into the cave with the lake, and then flips open Lan Wangji's coat and plunges two fingers into his ass, not even bothering to shuck his underwear. His asshole clenches around his fingers, the slick thick and warm. He can barely feel it, two fingers isn't enough. Three starts off a stretch, but he works three in and out a couple of times and his ass swallows that easily. He grunts, trying to get more friction out of it, but he's too wet. Everything's going in too easily. He could cry with the frustration.

He digs through the backpack impatiently with his left hand. The buttplug is dirty, he has just enough presence of mind to remember that. He tosses it onto the floor. The dildo is - probably fine. Oh, god. He should - sterilise it. Wash it, at least. He feels the heft in his hands and his hindbrain takes over; a swoop of arousal hits his stomach and his shoves it into his ass instead. It goes in easily but at least it's big, wide. He groans as he sinks down on it in relief, and then fucks himself on it furiously. His cock hits his stomach and bounces, leaving little tacky smears of precum against his skin.

Going fast is the right idea - he tires way more quickly than he's used to, damn hypothermia, and soon the ache in his thighs outgrows the pleasure of the fucking. He rolls onto his back instead, kicking uselessly about with his legs to try and get the right angle. He screams in frustration, and then screams again because he hates getting himself to this level of need. All his well-laid plans about keeping himself well-fucked have gone out of the window right at the point where it's most crucial to have his wits about him. He squirms on the floor, and his face ends up brushing against Lan Wangji's coat. The smell is faded now - covered all over with the smell of Wei Wuxian in heat - but there's still some. He buries his face into it, muffling his next scream. Echoes, he remembers belatedly. They're in a cave and it echoes.

He rams the dildo into his ass and misses the angle - it slides out and along the crease of his thigh instead and he screams in frustration as his ass tries to close around the toy and it's not there. It's too much. It's not enough. If he were by himself, at home, he'd just ride this one out. Tie himself to the bed, let his body lose control and let his mind wander deliriously for two days until his heat breaks. Now, he has until whenever Lan Wangji gets back to sort himself out which will be, what, ten, fifteen minutes? And he can't even manage to get a good angle on his fucking dildo.

He just wants an alpha to fucking knot him.

The thought crystalises in his mind so clearly, all at once. And on the tail of it, Lan Wangji appears in his mind's eye, shirtless with those white trousers tented around his cock that Wei Wuxian had tried not to look at.

Oh.

"Wei Wuxian?"

Wei Wuxian's eyes snap open - that 1080p HD picture of Lan Wangji in his mind shatters only to be replaced by the real thing. The real thing is possibly in more than 1080p. What do resolutions go up to? 8k? 16k? Whatever it is, it's right in front of Wei Wuxian now. He opens his mouth to ask 'Why are you back so early?' and instead lets out a breathy moan. He can't even manage to be embarrassed about it.

"I - I apologise. I heard the scream - I thought someone had. Excuse me," says Lan Wangji, looking ready to flee. Except now Wei Wuxian's been thinking about those soft white trousers so now he looks at them, and he can see, he can see that they're tented. Just like in his imagination. Except in 16k or whatever the fuck.

"Don't go," he manages in a voice that doesn't quite sound like his.

Lan Wangji is clutching the entrance to the tunnel with a very tight grip. The stone cracks a little. Fuck. Wei Wuxian wants to get that fist around his cock.

"Wei Wuxian-"

"Fuck me," gasps Wei Wuxian. "Please. Fuck me."

The rest of the stone goes. Lan Wangji doesn't even seem to notice he's now holding a fistful of rubble. He swallows, and Wei Wuxian's eyes flit to his throat like an animal captivated by movement.

"If I – fuck you," says Lan Wangji slowly and even the experience of hearing Lan Wangji say the word 'fuck' is like warm static in Wei Wuxian's brain. "I won't be able to pull out."

Yeah, thinks Wei Wuxian viciously, that's the point.

And then he realises that Lan Wangji's being considerate, he's trying not to knot Wei Wuxian because he knows Wei Wuxian isn't here to get knotted, which is just... so considerate. Also, Wei Wuxian is so fucking jealous right now that they are apparently both caught in the throes of manic horniness and yet Lan Wangji is the one someone still managing coherent, considered thought.

"Knot me," Wei Wuxian manages through his clenched jaw. He's close enough to see Lan Wangji's eyes widen, his pupils dilate. He says it again, just to be clear. "Knot me. Please."

There's the space of about a heartbeat where Wei Wuxian thinks that it's not going to happen; that Lan Wangji is going to about turn and march his virtuous ass outside.

And then he lurches forward, almost as if he can't control himself, and then takes a quick march, stride, leap over to Wei Wuxian. He hits his knees at the same time as he grabs Wei Wuxian by the ankle, yanking him around so that he's directly facing him and sliding him forward. Heat, hot and heavy, bursts in Wei Wuxian's stomach as Lan Wangji lines himself up. He lifts Wei Wuxian's hips almost into his lap, and Wei Wuxian feels the soft brush of the tip of his cock resting on his asshole for just a moment before he thrusts forward.

His cock goes in easily. It shouldn't be a surprise, but Wei Wuxian still gasps, his toes curling at the sudden filled sensation. It's been so long. He moans as Lan Wangji pulls out and fucks back in again, picking up the pace as he figures out the angle he wants. Wei Wuxian's legs bob in the air, pressed open wider than he ever stretches himself. Lan Wangji is big, bigger than any toys he's ever had and he's strong, fucking in with pressure that Wei Wuxian can feel behind his hips, and he's warm. He hadn't realised what a difference it would feel when someone's warm.

He pushes all the way in until Wei Wuxian starts to feel uncomfortably full, and then pulls out again, hard and fast. Wei Wuxian can feel the pressure building already, the orgasm coming on way faster than when he has to deal with it himself. Usually when he's doing this on the show, he fakes some groans, bites his lips until they're pretty and pink. He doesn't have the capacity to think about that right now as all that frustration that's been building over the last few weeks is finally finding a target. His voice is one long continuous moan, loud and wet as his mouth hangs open. Probably really unattractive.

Lan Wangji's cock drags over his prostate, already swollen and desperate for relief and Wei Wuxian can hear the wet slap of flesh against flesh get faster and harder, breaking out of its steady rhythm.

Lan Wangji's hands are on his hips, but his fingers stretch all the around around his back, and he leans up over Wei Wuxian, his breath hot and heavy on Wei Wuxian's neck, and Wei Wuxian realises that he's growling, a low-grade rumbling vibrating through his chest.

"Wuh," Wei Wuxian manages as Lan Wangji's lips ghost over his neck, the place where he would bite if he wanted to bond them. His eyes roll up and flutter closed as Lan Wangji stays there, not biting. He needs it, and he can smell Lan Wangji's desire. Why isn't he.

"Wei Wuxian," the tiniest sliver of sound makes its way through to Wei Wuxian's pleasure-addled brain, low and... pleading?

"Ye," Wei Wuxian manages in a half-exhale, finally realising that he's been waiting. "Yeah." He hopes that's enough. He can't find words at the moment.

Thankfully, Lan Wangji gets it; he leans forward, another brush of lips, and then a sharp pain bursts across Wei Wuxian's neck and he cries out, his orgasm cresting as the pain translates itself into pleasure. He arches up, leans into Lan Wangji as Lan Wangji continues to fuck him through his first orgasm.

"Shh, shh," says Lan Wangji as Wei Wuxian tries to whimper around his hand, his hand which is big around to encase the whole lower half of his face. He leans down, until it's hard for Wei Wuxian to even breathe, muffling his involuntary sounds. He knows this. He knows he should be quiet, that there could be other people around. But everything is so much, he needs to let it out. Even the heavy pressure of Lan Wangji's hand across his face adds to it, that heady pressure of being claimed, being owned.

Wei Wuxian didn't know that he could get even more wet, but he feels a spurt of slick come from himself, smoothing the way for Lan Wangji's cock even more. One of Lan Wangji's hands has found its way up to Wei Wuxian's head, smoothing wispy baby hairs that have plastered themselves to his face out of the way and then fisting the bulk of his hair in one hand to pin Wei Wuxian down as he bears down on him, his teeth firmly in the meat of Wei Wuxian's neck as he works his bite into the muscle.

The rush of dopamine hits all at once, flooding Wei Wuxian's muscles as his body sags with pleasure into the cold, hard ground of the cave. He lies there in a haze of pleasure as Lan Wangji hooks his drooping legs over his biceps, folding Wei Wuxian in half as he carries on, fucking his cock in and out of Wei Wuxian's sensitive hole. He can feel another orgasm building already, everything oversensitive and more responsive after the first orgasm, his body unwilling to be sated until its knotted.

Most of the time, he stops here. One orgasm to take the edge off, and then he keeps going, keeps moving so that no alpha will find him in this state when his body is trying to coast off the high. It's unsatisfying, for sure, but it's better than the alternative - at least until now. He doesn't know how he's done it before, because he's incoherent now, just lying back and letting everything happen to him as Lan Wangji uses his body and drags the pleasure out of him.

Lan Wangji has moved, from his bonding bite into greedy mouthfuls of Wei Wuxian's neck as his thrusts get sharper, snappier at the hip, like he's trying to punch the breath out of Wei Wuxian with each thrust as he gets closer to his knot.

Wei Wuxian suddenly catches sight of the drone, hovering silently, over Lan Wangji's shoulder and he sees what's going to happen next in his mind's eye with a sudden clarity, a single moment of epiphany before he's clouded again by the overwhelming scent of Lan Wangji in arousal. "Wait," he suddenly gasps, as quietly as he can. "No knot," he whispers urgently even as he can feel the edge of his second orgasm coming.

Lan Wangji jerks away, tries to pull up, out, but Wei Wuxian throws both arms around his neck and clings, drags him down, wraps his legs around him and bucks his hips up to encourage him on. "Don't stop," he gasps, aware that it's mixed signals, that he'd already asked Lan Wangji to knot him, but the pressure inside his chest is so immense that he can barely breathe, let alone find the words to explain, especially not when he can feel Lan Wangji's stomach muscles bunching up.

"No knot," he begs, and then feels Lan Wangji come inside him with one last fuck forward. He can feel the come, hot and gushing, inside him, and the knot swelling - outside. Pressed right up against his ass, tight and snug and not inside him. He gasps in relief, even as his entire body shakes with the betrayal of a ruined orgasm, so close to the peak and then a strange rush of adrenaline with the letdown. He still needs that knot, his body is already shaking with that desperation, is already grinding down on it without thinking with the need to get it inside him even as his ass has already clenched tight against it.

And then Lan Wangji, staring down at him, eyes wide with - despair? No, betrayal.

"Wuh," Wei Wuxian tries to force words out through his teeth that are clattering together from his body wracking, tries again before he manages. "Watch out."

He hears the footsteps the same time that Lan Wangji does, sees his face lift into surprise. The shadow falls over them and Lan Wangji rears up and pulls off him in one move. Wei Wuxian screams as Lan Wangji's cock pulls free of him with a wet sound, dragging past his too-sensitive asshole, as his lower body drops to the ground. He can feel Lan Zhan's come mixed with his slick dribble out of his hole, pooling messily under his ass.

He watches, sprawled on the ground as Lan Wangji surges towards their attacker, his cock still hard and erect in front of him. It's even bigger than he'd imagined. He hadn't seen it earlier, just felt it inside of him, and there's a thick wave of arousal that floods him even as Lan Wangji hits Wen Xu in the stomach with his shoulder, lifting with his legs and sending him careening backwards. The dagger in his hand goes flying, Wei Wuxian batting it out of the air by the hilt before it slashes anyone by accident.

There's something about Lan Wangji in a frenzy. Wei Wuxian thought he had seen him at the height of emotion when they were fucking, but this is different. There's a bloodlust here that he's never seen before as Lan Wangji strikes out from his centre line against Wen Xu's shoulder joint, numbing the nerves in his arm, a hand flick around his knee that pulls into a hook, sending him off balance, the open palm strike against his throat to suppress his air, the smack of the back of his fist, sending Wen Xu's head into the rock wall.

He grabs Wen Xu by the hair and smashes his skull into the rock until his body goes limp.

"Enough," gasps Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji doesn't even seem to hear him. "Lan Wangji, enough."

He doesn't have enough energy to throw himself into this. He's breathing heavily and his legs aren't even okay with standing yet, and leaning up on his elbows the way he's doing right now is leaving tremors in his arms. This is all he can do: he hefts the dagger - bad balance, not made for throwing - and throws it at Wen Xu's body, stabbing in somewhere in the back under his ribs. "Lan Zhan! Stop it, he's dead."

That catches his attention. Wei Wuxian hasn't used his real name before, of course, because everyone's entitled to their privacy. He uses a stage name for this show too, and he knows how sometimes the brain will always recognise his real name before his stage name. And he wishes he hadn't had to use it now, in front of the little drone in the corner of his eye, but Wen Xu's dead. There's nothing to be gained apart from a reputation for overkill.

Lan Wangji drops the body onto the floor, where it twitches in that manner of things that no longer control their nervous system, and backs up, breathing heavily. He turns to look over his shoulder at Wei Ying, slowly turning around, and Wei Ying exhales. His cock juts out in front of him, his knot still swollen. The mix of bloodlust and anger and desire makes for a strange shape on his face, his brows drawn down and his jaw muscles tensed.

Wei Wuxian waits to see what he'll do.

"Say that again," demands Lan Wangji, his voice so low Wei Wuxian feels it through his bones.

"Lan Zhan," says Wei Wuxian, quieter this time. He reaches out one hand. "Lan Zhan, forget him. Come here."

Lan Wangji walks back to him, surveys him lying on the ground as the shadows mute the expression on his face. He reaches out, slowly, and takes Wei Wuxian's hand, lets Wei Wuxian tug him back to the ground.

"Sorry," whispers Wei Wuxian as he leans up, winds his arms around Lan Wangji's neck and presses their cheeks together. It's not his fault, he knows that.

It's Wen Xu's for lurking there, waiting for the opportune moment to take them out, when presumably Lan Wangji had his knot stuck inside of Wei Wuxian and wouldn't be able to defend himself. But the moments before that, the all-too-real rejection in Lan Wangji's eyes when he'd told him not to knot him - that's his fault.

"Sorry," he whispers again. "I didn't - I did. I did want you to knot me."

Wei Wuxian sighs. He knows that the alternative was death, or injury at best, but he still feels gutted that the mood has been so thoroughly shattered. He'd never thought about being knotted on this show, but maybe in the back of his mind when he had imagined being knotted at all, he had at least envisioned it actually happening to him instead of being robbed of the moment.

His body knows, too. It knows that it was so close - he's still leaking slick, his nipples are still hard, and the feel of Lan Wangji's hardness, the swell of his cock resting against Wei Wuxian's legs is starting to make his mouth water. And if he can tell, then Lan Wangji can probably smell it off him.

Lan Wangji stills. He sways forward and holds him like Wei Wuxian might be made of smoke and dreams, fingers like claws curled into Wei Wuxian's side. He rubs his face along Wei Wuxian's neck, where the bite is still fresh and painful, nuzzles his face around it and mouths at it. "You want it?"

"Y-yeah," says Wei Wuxian, swallowing as Lan Wangji cants his hips forward, sliding his cock along the soft skin of his inner thigh. It takes him two tries to get out the whole word.

"Now?" asks Lan Wangji, dragging his hands down until they cradles Wei Wuxian's hips, leaning forward until Wei Wuxian lies back and spreads his legs.

"Yeah," breathes Wei Wuxian. He has no idea how this is going to work - Lan Wangji's knot is already swollen and it'll take at least twenty minutes to subside and then even longer until he's ready to go again - but Lan Wangji kisses him with mouth and teeth and lips and tongue, and kneads his ass with those enormous hands of his, and fuck, he could just do this for thirty minutes. That's - that's fine.

Except that's not what Lan Wangji has in mind. He adjusts Wei Wuxian's legs to where he wants them, and then sinks his cock into his ass again, stretching him out where he'd started to get tight again. He cries out. He can feel just how big it is this time, like every inch is fighting for space in him until he can feel Lan Wangji's knot hit up against his asshole. He clenches, trying to make himself relax through his heat, but Lan Wangji doesn't let up, going up on his knees so he can pull out and ram in again, picking up where they had left off.

Wei Wuxian's body remembers that it had been denied its orgasm and gets on board real fast. "Lan Wangji-"

"No." The vehemence of it makes Wei Wuxian breathless. He lowers his mouth to Wei Wuxian's ear, until his words tickle in for his ear alone. "Call me Lan Zhan."

"Lan Zhan," says Wei Wuxian obediently. Oh. Yeah. That feels right. He says it a few more times, trying out the weight of it on his tongue, thick in his mouth. "Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan."

Lan Zhan watches him, his mouth slightly parted as he breathes heavily. It's doing something for him as well. He picks up the pace, snapping his hips in until Wei Wuxian is stretched loose again, the slick easing the way. That's when Lan Zhan sits up back onto his heels, one leg kicked out at an angle to keep the weight off it, and Wei Wuxian squirms, desperate for more. Lan Zhan leans forward, looming over him, and grabs both his arms, pushing them until his wrists are crossed above his head. He tests his weight and so does Wei Wuxian, gasping and pulling until they can both tell that Lan Wangji has him pinned down. He pushes up, and Lan Zhan leans down on him to stop him from moving, his grip on Wei Wuxian's wrists just this side of painful. Heat flares in Wei Wuxian's stomach as it pushes a button he didn't know he had.

It becomes apparent why he's stopped Wei Wuxian from moving a moment later, when he bears down, the weight of his knot pressing hard against Wei Wuxian's asshole, stretching it out.

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian half-gasps, half-screams when he realises what Lan Zhan is going to do. His knot is enormous, he's never going to get it in there. The entire point of it is to be large enough to stop the cock from slipping out after he comes. But Lan Zhan leans his weight down on Wei Wuxian, stretching his asshole until he feels like he's going to split in two.

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. Oh my god, I can't. Don't stop, don't-" He doesn't even know what he's saying, just a litany of high-pitched babble. The pain is driving him wild and he squirms, bucks, writhes, to no avail as Lan Wangji keeps him down on the ground, one hand on his wrists and the other on Wei Wuxian's dantian, heavy enough to force the air out from his lungs every so often until he's light-headed and limp.

He can feel his body making way for Lan Zhan as he forces himself in, and it's like a pop as they get past the widest part, and all of a sudden Lan Zhan's knot is inside Wei Wuxian as his asshole clenches tight around him.

"Oh my god," he gurgles, and presses his legs close, feeling Lan Zhan's waist between his thighs, the pressure of his knot against Wei Wuxian's prostate. Lan Zhan exhales against his skin and holds him back. Everything feels right. This is what it was meant to feel like.  

Except Lan Zhan doesn't stop there. He rocks against Wei Wuxian, and then starts pulling out again.

"Noooo, no no no," moans Wei Wuxian, trying to clench his ass around Lan Wangji to stop him, but Lan Wangji braces him against the ground and Wei Wuxian can feel himself stretching wide again. "Lan Zhan, please, it's too much."

"You like it," says Lan Zhan, and Wei Wuxian follows his gaze down between their chests, taking a moment to get it through his addled mind what Lan Zhan means. It's his cock, nestled between them, twitching feebly with spurts of come dribbling out the end.

"It hurts," whispers Wei Wuxian as Lan Wangji keeps going.

"You like it," Lan Zhan says again, mouthing at the bite on his neck, which also hurts. Wei Wuxian can feel tears welling up in his eyes, a physiological reaction to the pain. Lan Zhan presses kisses down his shoulder and pec, and then draws Wei Wuxian's nipple into his mouth. It's so hard that even a suck on it hurts, and Wei Wuxian convulses as his ass stretches enough that Lan Zhan pulls free again.

He slides a finger around the rim of Wei Wuxian's ass and pulls at it, testing the stretch. "So loose," he murmurs around Wei Wuxian's nipple as he fucks back in.

Wei Wuxian cries, begs, shakes, but to no avail as Lan Zhan fucks him over and over, pressing the swell of his knot in and then pulling it back out as he pleases, the pain near constant as Wei Wuxian's body protests, his asshole tries to clench feebly to stop him. Lan Zhan ignores it all, instead taking his cock in his free hand, the one not keeping Wei Wuxian's wrists pinned down, strokes along it with the broad side of his thumb, rubbing across his oversensitive slit and smearing the come as it comes out in spurts, not enough pressure for Wei Wuxian to come properly but enough to keep him on the edge.

At some point, his tears spill over, hot trails leaking out down his temples across his face, and his vision goes blurry. He can't see anything properly, aside from Lan Zhan's face floating in and out of focus, he can't hear anything, it's like his ears went fuzzy, and everything he can feel is just too much. Somewhere in it all, his heat breaks, satisfied by the knot inside his body and the bite, and with it a release of hormones so strong that it almost feels like nausea. Wei Ying has never felt so horny he's wanted to puke before.

It keeps going, the over-stretching of Wei Wuxian's asshole around Lan Zhan's knot until the knot starts to subside - or perhaps when Wei Wuxian's asshole is stretched so wide it doesn't pull around it anymore, and Lan Zhan stops with his cock still resting inside Wei Wuxian, wrapping his hand full around Wei Wuxian's cock and finishing him off with two, three, four pumps of his hand and a twist of his wrist.

Wei Wuxian comes so hard he whites out.

When he comes to, Lan Zhan is lying half on top of him, both a smothering and comforting weight. He moans as he tries to move a leg, and discovers that literally everything from his belly button down hurts, an ache of overworked muscles. His wrists too, he suspects are going to bloom with blue-black flower-like bruises. His arms are draped loosely over Lan Zhan's shoulders now but he can feel the release of lactic acid build up there too, making his arms feel like noodles. His asshole is still trying to recover, spasming feebly every so often with little aftershocks. He feels awful. He feels amazing.

"Lan Zhan," he manages, blinking up at the top of the cave with eyelashes still clumpy with tears.

"Wei Ying," says Lan Zhan, turning his head so he can speak into his ear, and oh, that's new. It feels right though, that Lan Zhan is Lan Zhan and he is Wei Ying.

"You broke me," he sighs in satisfaction.

"You liked it," says Lan Zhan simply, pressing a soft little kiss against his cheekbone.

Wei Ying hums in agreement.

The afterglow lasts for longer than it should. Wei Ying never bothers with afterglow on this programme; he simply doesn't have the luxury. But they're almost to the end and the worst contestant is dealt with and he's been bonded with Lan Zhan and now it really is the two of them against everyone else.

There's a lot of groaning involved when they finally get off the ground, not to do with pleasure, but mostly to do with Wei Ying relearning how to stand. If it involves a lot of clutching of Lan Zhan's biceps, well, it's all his fault in the first place. He gets upright, and then promptly almost slips on the puddle of slick and come on the ground.

"Oh my god," says Wei Ying looking down at it. It's never quite this bad when there's a bed and fabrics involved, but the rock really does absorb nothing and expose how much of it there is. "That's... that's so much."

"I came twice," says Lan Zhan, indicating, and Wei Ying isn't sure if he can process this kind of filthy language out of him. "And you... three times?"

"Something like that," says Wei Ying faintly. It looks like a very proportionate amount of come and slick between them now he's put it like that. He waddles ungainly around the mess. "We're going to have to move on. Between the blood and the bodily fluids, this is a scent trap for anyone else in the area."

Lan Zhan nods. It's actually a miracle that their clothes aren't completely wrecked, Wei Ying's thankfully being trapped under his back most of the time and Lan Zhan's - well, because most of it ended up on or in Wei Ying, truth be told. Lan Zhan has maybe a single stray streak of come over him. It's very unfair.

Wei Ying is burrowing in his backpack for something to wipe himself down when Lan Zhan holds something out - a pale blue t-shirt. The one he was wearing, actually.

"Here," he says and lets go; Wei Ying manages to take it before it drops. What he really wants to do is shove it back at Lan Zhan so he can actually wear it, but he's vaguely distracted by the sight of Lan Zhan shirtless. He's just. Hm. Very broad. Wei Ying is still gawping when Lan Zhan puts a hoodie jacket back on, zipping it up most of the way. A shame, but if Wei Ying squints really hard, he can make out the shape of his nipples underneath it.

"Wei Ying?"

"Oh. Yeah, sorry," says Wei Ying. "I just got sideswiped by a glimpse of your chest, Lan Zhan, forgive a man."

Lan Zhan has the grace to blush a tiny bit as Wei Ying uses the soft t-shirt to wipe himself down. It seems obscene, almost - the t-shirt is very nice and very soft and smells faintly of sweat and Lan Zhan's musk, and he's just using it to mop slick out of his ass and from the back of his knees.

"You missed a bit," says Lan Zhan, holding his hand out for the t-shirt. When Wei Ying hands it to him, he rather delicately lifts the curve of Wei Ying's butt to daub at the seam between ass and thigh. It's Wei Ying's turn to blush profusely, although he doesn't know why. It's not like Lan Zhan hasn't seen every inch of him down there by now.

"Thanks," says Wei Ying, adjusting himself so that he's all clothed up again. There's a few stray sprays here and there, but there's not much he can do about that - and every unknotted omega left has probably been dripping through their clothes for days by now. "Keep a hold of it, we can use it as a scent distraction."

Lan Zhan nods. It takes them only a few moments to gather their things, and then drag Wen Xu into the cavern with the other dead bodies. Wei Ying leans down to retrieve the dagger, dark red blood pooling once he takes it out and wipes it carefully on Wen Xu's clothing. Any extra weapon will be handy. Lan Zhan holds the t-shirt by a dry patch and smears their combined scent around the doorway as they leave, limping away to leave false tracks.

(Wei Ying tries to protest, but his two legs still aren't working enough for him to outpace Lan Zhan on only one good leg apparently.)

Wei Ying is in no shape to scale the steep wall up to the entrance, but they track Wen Xu's fading scent way winding out of the caverns in time for a set of blue fireworks to go off. Six hours left. They must have already missed the twelve hour and twenty-four hour fireworks already, purple and red respectively. A lump grows in Wei Ying's throat. Only six hours. They can survive this. Wei Ying's back and thigh muscles are killing him, but knowing that it's not from injury means that Wei Ying can just ignore it, the walking and stretching helping to disperse the aches more than anything else.

"We should try and find something high and flat. High ground to defend, easy for the helicopters to find us." He's seen more than one contestant die or lose the competition in the time it took to get from their hiding place at the end of the finale to the helicopters that arrive to take them back to the villas.

"On top of the caves?"

Wei Ying nods. It's not going to be easy climbing, but they're both pretty athletic and there's two of them to keep an eye out for anything. Wei Ying hadn't realised how stressful it was to be by himself, always alert, always trying to watch his own back and front and every other direction at the same time, until now. He and Lan Zhan make a good team, automatically splitting their roles. He moves up front, finds steady footholds and a path up that Lan Zhan will be able to take; Lan Zhan watches their back and climbs up after him carefully using his arms to counterbalance the weaker foot.

They reach a level stretch - not quite big enough to be considered a plateau - when there's a shriek and the sound of movement, and Wei Ying swings his backpack in front of him just in time for a rock to hit him, hard even that he feels the impact in his chest through the random stuff he has in there. Instinct takes over, and he in return flings his backpack at the person in an underhand swing, hitting them full in the face.

Wang Lingjiao screeches as she stumbles backward, batting the bag away as it thwumps onto the ground, lowering herself into a bent knee stance. "Did you kill him? I know he went in for you! Did you kill him?"

"Yes. And, don't," says Wei Ying. There's only six hours to go. He's spent the last few days sharing a cave with more than one corpse. More death is just unnecessary at this point.

She narrows her eyes at him, her fists curled around two more rocks. Wei Ying shows her the dagger in his hand, and then also tips his head towards Lan Zhan. "Seriously, don't. Yeah, he killed Wen Xu. I know, it sucks. You're gonna lose the finale. But you can lose this year and come back next year and compete, or Lan Zhan will kill you if you attack me."

She hisses at them. She's probably not sad that Wen Xu is dead. Wen Xu is, notably, a dick. But she'd had a good chance of winning with him, and they've taken that away from her now. Wei Ying puts an arm across Lan Zhan's chest - not that it would actually stop Lan Zhan from snapping her delicate little neck if he wanted to, but at least it's there for show - and she circles warily around them and disappears down towards the ground.

"You showed her mercy," says Lan Zhan. "I thought you didn't like her."

"I don't. I think she's a fake plastic little gold-digger. But that has no effect on me and whether we win this finale. It's not a zero sum competition." Wei Ying checks around the corner in case any other distressed omegas are going to attack him, and then puts his hands on his knees to catch his breath for a second.

Wen Xu hadn't got that. Well, he had. He was a smart man, by all accounts; he understood perfectly well that once he had knotted an omega and managed to stay her only alpha by the end of the finale, he would have been a winner. But there was something in him that drove him to try and kill other people even when it didn't affect his win. He was just a murderer, using the show as cover. Wei Ying has no interest in that.

When he looks back, Lan Zhan is looking at him with a curious expression on his face. It's not that different to his normal face, but it's soft around the edges, like everything has relaxed a little.

"What?"

"I think that it was very admirable of you. She did attack first." Lan Zhan delivers with such blinding sincerity that Wei Ying can't look directly at him for a moment.

"Oh. Well. Yeah, thanks," mumbles Wei Ying, hating that he is somehow reverting to an awkward blushy teenager whenever Lan Zhan says something nice to him.

"Do you need painkillers?" Lan Zhan digs out a little packet and some water.

Wei Ying stares at it for a long, long moment.

"Wei Ying?"

"In four seasons," says Wei Ying, closing his eyes and turning his face towards the sun. "In four wholeass seasons, I never once thought to ask for painkillers. I could have had painkillers all this time? Are you shitting me?"

"I broke a leg," says Lan Zhan. "I think the audience thought painkillers would have been useful."

Wei Ying is only embarrassed at himself. He takes the goddamn painkillers. 

It starts to get dim before they reach the top, but they keep going, carefully and quietly. The setting sun makes everything harder, making them at times walk towards the darkness with their bodies blocking out the light, or face directly into the sun, squinting past the long rays stretching towards them.

When they finally reach where the ground plateaus on top of the cave, Wei Ying is sweating and he has new aches in different parts of his muscles to add to the aches from earlier, but at least the painkillers have kicked in and taken the sharp edge off. He peeps up, reporting to Lan Zhan before he breaks cover. "It's big and it's pretty open. There's just that rock there for cover."

Lan Zhan turns, and throws something into the air, and Wei Ying catches one last whiff of their combined scent in it - the damp t-shirt - before it catches in the wind and carries it out and away from them. Perfect. One last distraction.

"I moved some rocks on our way up to obstruct the climb up," says Lan Zhan, as they pick the best angle to be able to watch for both someone climbing up and an incoming helicopter ("The production set up is on that side of the island." Lan Zhan picks it out effortlessly across the landscape) and they huddle up together with their backs to the rock.

Wei Ying stretches out his limbs with a groan, feeling joints click and his hip flexors release. Beside him, Lan Zhan is extending his leg while cradling the back of his knee, doing the same thing but more subtly. It took them maybe ninety minutes? Perhaps closer to two hours to get all the way up at the speed they climbed. Which is nothing when Wei Ying is in peak condition, but he had hypothermia or possibly pneumonia, he'll have to look up the difference between the two, of course he needs rest breaks every ten minutes. He might still have hypothermia or possibly pneumonia actually, he doesn't know how long it lasts.

Plus, it's been days of paranoid barely-sleeping and going out of his mind with heat distraction, and then previously weeks of paranoid behaviour-watching; he's allowed to be at less than his best.

Wei Ying finds himself gravitating towards Lan Zhan, which feels so natural now. Or perhaps it always did. Either way, it feels like the first time they've been together by themselves, not surrounded by other people or driven by their own overwhelming hormones. They're not really alone – if Wei Ying concentrates, he can hear the faint fwub-fwub of the drone propellers keeping it aloft – but it's close enough.

He leans his head towards Lan Zhan's shoulder, and Lan Zhan shuffles closer to make the angle easier, Wei Ying's head slotting into that gap like it was meant for it.

"Hey, so. Thanks."

"What for?" asks Lan Zhan. What a stupid question.

"Everything," says Wei Ying. "This entire TV show... it's not exactly your thing. You didn't seem pleased to be here, and I know you weren't looking to actually knot with someone. But you've been the utmost gentleman all the way through, even before we, you know. Before we 'discussed bonding'."

He says the last two words with air quotes, since most of the discussion involved incoherent shouting and not much actual discussion at all. To his surprise, Lan Zhan laughs. Not like, out loud, which would probably be too much, but his shoulder moves under Wei Ying's ear as he huffs silently.

Lan Zhan tilts his head back until it gently hits the rock, and when Wei Ying peeks up, his eyes are closed. "I am... thankful too."

Wei Ying sits up so that he can look at Lan Zhan properly. What has Lan Zhan got to be thankful for? He's the one who's been doing his alpha utmost to defend Wei Ying and his virtue, what's left of it. Lan Zhan opens his eyes to look at Wei Ying and maybe it's because they're bonded, but he looks different, feels different now, even though he doesn't actually look any different. Like he's vibrating on a different frequency.

"I'm thankful that it wasn't a mistake," he says in a low rush. "I hadn't come with the intent to bond, but when I met you... and you also weren't interested in bonding... I thought was ideal. Because you wouldn't bond with anyone else. And then when you asked me to knot you. And then - afterwards. But then you did. And you didn't regret it."

He's not making a lot of sense, skipping over whole sentences, but Wei Ying knows what he means.

Wei Ying reaches up, brushing his thumb lightly over Lan Zhan's sharp cheekbones. "You're blushing," he says in astonishment.

Lan Zhan catches his wrist. "Wei Ying," he says gently, an admonishment.

Wei Ying laughs himself, and twists his hand free - Lan Zhan lets him - and strokes it along Lan Zhan's face again, this time cupping his face and leaning in for a kiss. Lan Zhan immediately meets him halfway. These are different from their kisses earlier, less like bites and more like an introduction. Without the heat blurring all his senses together, Wei Ying lets himself map out the shape of Lan Zhan's mouth, the way his jaw is strong but his lips are soft, the way his breath feels on Wei Ying's cheek, the way he makes tiny little pleased noises in the back of his throat. He pulls away with one last kiss - two, three, little pecks - and realises that the new shape of Lan Zhan is what he feels like when he's happy.

"No regrets," he confirms. "And I'm sorry that I let you believe, even for a second, that I was going back on it."

"Not your fault," says Lan Zhan, which Wei Ying knew he was going to say; they both know it wasn't his fault, it was circumstantial but they've got it out there with their words, not in the heat (ha!) of the moment. "It would have been... traumatic. For you."

At least one contestant each year dies this way, when they're knotted, sometimes two if the alpha attacking is just gunning for murdering both of the couple rather than a strategic takeover of another alpha's position.

"I mean, also for you. As the one most likely getting stabbed," says Wei Ying. "Like yeah, it would have sucked to have a partner die literally while on top of and inside me, but it very much would have sucked for the one dying too."

They sit there in silence for a little bit after that, basking in each other's presence and just waiting for the end to arrive. Wei Ying hopes that they're being pathetic enough that the drones get bored of following them, but that's probably not going to happen. Lan Zhan fishes out the last of their food – a couple of bruised apples – and they eat contemplatively.

"You know, I never even asked you why you joined this show," says Wei Ying eventually, crunching around the core of his apple.

Lan Zhan finishes his apple before he answers, eating the whole core like an absolute madman. "I'm good at survival."

Wei Ying just looks at him. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Lan Zhan assures him. "I told you previously that I had only seen the finale before. I run part of our family business, which focusses on promoting a sustainable lifestyle in tune with nature and natural resources. A survival show seemed ideal."

He shows Wei Ying his supplies bag as an example, which is one of those stretchy net things. Wei Ying stares. "Are you – are you doing a product placement right now?"

"No," says Lan Zhan, as he shows Wei Ying how big his net can get but also how it folds away into almost nothing. It's – okay, it's pretty cool.

"You're ridiculous," says Wei Ying, with a sudden swell of affection. "Also your brother is like, the absolute worst person for not making sure you knew what you were getting into."

Lan Zhan hums. "I was quite angry with him," he admits. "When the show started, and it was nothing like I had imagined. But I met some very worthwhile people, I like to think."

"Yeah, that's absolutely what we're all here for. The everlasting friendships," quips Wei Ying. That's a bit harsh, to be fair. He's made a good bunch of friends over the last few seasons, and he's rooting for Mo Xuanyu, Nie Huaisang and even Nie Mingjue to survive.

"You're also here because you're good at survival," Lan Zhan points out, and hmm, Wei Ying hadn't thought of it that way.

"I guess. This is – was – a career for me. The prize money goes a decent way, and it's got me some very cool gigs afterwards. Fuck, oh yeah, I'm gonna have to think of a new career. No longer a Career Omega. Dethroned. Defiled." He sighs tragically.

"Wei Ying," says Lan Zhan, but it's amused. Probably.

Wei Ying presses a finger over Lan Zhan's lips; he can just tell that Lan Zhan's going apologise for ruining all that or something stupidly self-sacrificial, and he doesn't need that. "I was never going to let someone knot me for the sake of the prize, but I think... I think I always held up hope that I might find someone right for me here. It's like, extreme dating, you know? They say you should see someone at their worst before committing, right? Well, this show is a crucible for seeing people at their worst."

"I have seen a lot of terrible behaviour," agrees Lan Zhan around Wei Ying's finger, and then attempts to nibble it. Urgh, it's – it's kind of cute.

"You were a paragon of virtue," says Wei Ying, joking but also really not. "I can't believe how classy you were throughout the whole thing."

"I don't think my interactions with Su She could be considered classy."

"Oh. Yeah, maybe apart from that bit. But he was awful first. As much as I don't like his little rat face, I definitely need to see a compilation of his screentime to figure out what on earth was going through his mind. Maybe he was obsessed with you. Not that I blame him."

Lan Zhan looks at him with something like confusion. "You don't blame him?"

"Well, yeah. I think everyone should be obsessed with you. I am."

"You are?" This time Lan Zhan sounds astonished.

"I'm literally bonded to you! Yeah!" Wei Ying looks back at him. 

"You," splutters Lan Zhan, and as amusing it is to see him stumble over his words, Wei Ying also feels guilty for the fact that Lan Zhan has apparently not realised that Wei Ying thinks he's great. "You were in heat."

"And I told you to fuck me! I - okay. What happened was that you knew I wasn't looking to knot with anyone, so you didn't try to knot with me, right?"

Lan Zhan nods. "It would have been disrespectful."

"But also I knew you weren't looking to knot with anyone, so I didn't try to knot with you either. It was just. We were both being respectful. Too respectful."

Understanding dawns on Lan Zhan's face. 

"But you were horny for me. I could smell it, Lan Zhan, you know. And see your giant cock tenting your sweats. And I was horny for you, like dripping out of my ass horny, so, you know. We got there eventually."

Lan Zhan's face is still a little pink. Probably because Wei Ying is talking about it so openly. "I just didn't realise your... horniness was directionally aimed," he murmurs. Oh, he's so precious. Wei Ying has to pause to kiss him.

"Urgh, Lan Zhan. You're such a catch. You were always super polite and courteous to all the omegas, you always gave the challenges a shot even though you clearly did not even want to be there. You put up with the most embarrassing morning after - where we didn't even fuck! - in the Love Shack. And then you took care of me while I was in heat and unconscious for three days and you were a gentleman through it all. I can't believe you did that." Wei Ying beams with the realisation of how happy he is.

"It would have been disrespectful," says Lan Zhan again.

"Mm, we'll revisit you being disrespectful another time. Off-screen, maybe." says Wei Ying, batting his eyelashes at him until he laughs, silently. A laugh that only Wei Ying can tell from the heave of his chest, and no one else knows about. 

"I am sorry to have cost you the prize," says Lan Zhan eventually.

"You – did you even listen to the rules? I mean, I guess not since I don't think you've thought of the prize even once since joining. But we're gonna win."

"I don't need it," says Lan Zhan, which is a delightfully and/or awfully privileged thing to say.

"Wow. Good to know I'm marrying into money." Wei Ying snorts.

"But we're... going to win?"

"Yeah. As an alpha, you win if you knot an omega and no one else knots them and you're both still alive at the end."

"Hm." Lan Zhan looks contemplative. "Will it count if we didn't do it the usual way?"

Wei Ying frowns. It seems like a frivolous question at first, but the more he thinks about it, the more he wonders too. The programme loves to stir up drama – literal landslides, for example – and if it could disqualify Fan Favourite Wei Wuxian on a technicality, it probably would. The outrage would make more deadlines.

"I guess it depends on your definition of knotting," Wei Ying says slowly. "You had your knot inside of me. But... the act of knotting is generally considered to be when an alpha comes inside an omega and the knot swells. Yeah."

Which means that whatever they did – which the memory if is still enough to make Wei Ying blush if he thinks about it too hard – doesn't count.

Lan Zhan stands, and starts shrugging his clothes off.

"Wha - Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying looks around, but all he can see are the two discreet little feed drones still following them around. "What are you doing?"

"If that doesn't count as knotting, we should remedy that," he says, yanking his waistband down quickly enough that his cock flops out and bounces a little. Wei Ying averts his eyes, and then doesn't, because well, he's allowed to look now. He's just still getting used to it.

"It's fine," says Wei Ying. "I don't care if I don't win. We literally just discussed how you don't even need the prize money."

"I don't want Wei Ying to lose on a technicality," says Lan Zhan indignantly, his hand around his cock. "You deserve to win. Unless - you don't want to?"

Wei Ying snaps his mouth shut. "I mean. It's not that I don't want to. I just don't want you to have to."

Getting carried away in the moment when there are pheromones rife in the air and he's out of his mind with lust and his body is screaming at him and trying to tear him apart somehow seems fine. But now his heat has broken thanks to Lan Zhan and they're both in their right minds and he'd quite like for them to have some time together not observed by the world and maybe like, cuddle, and have sex not on the bare ground. He's gonna have bruises all over from Lan Zhan leaning his substantial weight on him.

Lan Zhan looks down at him, cock still hefted in his hand, and blinks. He's hard already. That was... very quick.

Oh.

That's probably a hint about whether he wants to or not.

"Fuck it," says Wei Ying, and flicks his robes out of the way. "I mean, more accurately. Fuck me."

He rolls onto his hands and knees, hooking one finger into the crotch of his briefs and pulling them to one side.

Lan Zhan drops to his knees - well, his one good knee - hard enough that Wei Ying winces at the sound of impact against the hard packed ground, and then he's got one giant palm around Wei Ying's thigh, pushing his legs further apart. "This might hurt," is all the warning that he gives before he presses up against Wei Ying's asshole - which is still very tender from the previous time, all right - and pushes in slowly.

Wei Ying clenches his jaw and exhales his teeth, trying to relax his muscles in time to Lan Zhan pushing in. "You're too big," he says.

It's not going in. Lan Zhan kneels back, perplexed, as Wei Ying pants. "It was fine when you were wet." He sounds so confused, bless him. He uses his hands to spread Wei Ying's ass, his thumb brushing over Wei Ying's asshole and Wei Ying shudders.

"Okay - um. So, in general, the no foreplay thing does it for me. Don't want you to think it doesn't. Really, really does. We can revisit that some other time. But you've kind of got to remember that you like, shredded my virginity like a couple of hours ago. Like, absolutely demolished it. I'm kind of raw down there."

Lan Zhan lowers his face, and spits into Wei Ying's asshole. Wei Ying's hips jerk in surprise, because that was simultaneously so hot and also so fucking gross, oh fuck.

"Storebought is fine," says Wei Ying faintly.

"Pardon?" asks Lan Zhan, as he uses his thumb to fuck into Wei Ying's ass, the spit doing a surprising amount as his thumb slips in far enough for him to just press up against Wei Ying's prostate.

"Nothing," says Wei Ying, and shifts his hips as he can feel his body make it over the hill from over-stimulated, aching and tired to all of those, but also kind of horny again. The light pressure of Lan Zhan against his prostate eases things up, and he can still feel the tightness in his muscles, in the line of his thighs, but he can at least feel himself producing slick again.

"Oh good," he says faintly. "I was worried you'd broken me for a moment there."

Lan Zhan slides two fingers in, which already feels like too much, and presses down, stretching Wei Yin's asshole until he groans and pats at Lan Zhan's arm. "You brute," he says as he spreads his legs some more. "An animal," he continues, rocking forward so that his chest touches the floor and his back arches flatteringly.

"An absolute beast," he sighs as Lan Zhan pushes all the way in, making space inside Wei Ying for his cock. They stay like that for a moment as Wei Ying breathes through it, the tension releasing a little with each exhale.

Lan Zhan is watching him, watching his face carefully, and Wei Ying isn't sure what he sees, but he pulls back out slowly so he can thrust forward with a snap of his hips, and Wei Ying cries out, feeling himself clenching at Lan Zhan with frantic little pulses of his ass as Lan Zhan picks up the pace.

Wei Ying realises quickly that the heat and the slick took away a lot of the physical sensation last time. It was overwhelming because of the pheromones and the release, the relief after weeks of not getting himself off properly, but this time it's like Lan Zhan is fighting for every inch inside of him, and Wei Ying can feel it all.

He gets wet quickly enough that he can hear the little sounds as it splurts when Lan Zhan fucks into him. He can feel it when Lan Zhan changes angle, going shallow and fast with his tip just darting in and out of Wei Ying, the cool air brush against his gaping asshole, and Lan Zhan's breathing changes with it.

Perhaps some other time, they'll be able to take their time, but Wei Ying can't remember how much time they have left before the finale is officially over. Wei Ying reaches down, getting his hand around the bottom half of Lan Zhan's cock, tightening his fingers until Lan Zhan has to really working to fuck into it. He can feel the slightly thicker swell of muscle of where Lan Zhan's knot would be, and squeezes around it.

Lan Zhan grunts, and bites Wei Ying's shoulder, which is conveniently right there.

Wei Ying yelps. Okay, yeah, that really does it for him. They're gonna have to try him fucking Wei Ying when he's completely dry and tight some other time; just another thing to add to the list of things he wants to do with Lan Zhan.

"Fucking hell," gasps Wei Ying as he dabs at his shoulder for blood. None so far. He cranes around to look at Lan Zhan. "Your stamina is like. Great. So great. Possibly a bit too great right now. Have you ever even heard of a quickie?"

Lan Zhan shoots him a dirty look, or possibly a determined look. They feel kind of like the same thing. He pulls out so quickly Wei Ying actually wobbles off balance as Lan Zhan grabs him by the ankle and rolls him over onto his back, crowding him up against the rock.

That's more like it. Wei Ying lets his legs fall apart as he shuffles up against the rock, stuffing Lan Zhan's sustainable expandable net bag thing behind him. He needs the lumbar support if he's not out of his mind in heat. He hooks his legs around Lan Zhan's waist, digging his heels into the small of Lan Zhan's back as Lan Zhan fucks in again.

Lan Zhan has practically dragged Wei Ying into his lap, holding his weight on his arms as Wei Ying bounces on his cock. Oh, this is a good angle. Wei Ying clings to his shoulders, and holds on for dear life as Lan Zhan goes at it with a single-minded determination, accompanied with his mouth, hot on Wei Ying's as he swallows Wei Ying's moans.

He can feel that bit at the base of Lan Zhan's cock start to swell, and he tries to make himself as tight as possible for Lan Zhan, squeezing around him.

Lan Zhan hisses into Wei Ying's mouth, and surges forward as his knot comes and he presses inside Wei Ying just as he feels hot come inside him and the knot swell to its full size, hard and pressed against his prostate, his hand against Wei Ying's stomach pressing down so he can feel it even more, dragging Wei Ying into orgasm along with him.

It's like fireworks going off in his body, like crackle and burst of pleasure all the way down to his fingertips, a burst of warmth that lingers, until he opens his eyes. He doesn't remember shutting them.

Behind them, actual fireworks are in the sky.

"We made it," says Wei Ying, and begins to laugh. It turns into a moan, because Lan Zhan is still enormous and inside him, and he writhes, which makes Lan Zhan buck into him, and Wei Ying gasps.

"Okay, okay. Wow. That's so much, Lan Zhan. Go easy on this poor abused omega."

Lan Zhan's arms around his waist tighten as he presses his face into Wei Ying's chest. "Wei Ying is too much," he murmurs, and Wei Ying softens, brushing Lan Zhan's little flyaway hairs out of his face as if he needs an excuse to touch him.

They shift – slowly, because Wei Ying twitches every time Lan Zhan rubs up inside him too much – until Wei Ying is straddling Lan Zhan's lap, curled around him like a koala. Now he's looking back at Lan Zhan's face, he gets why face-to-face sped things up for Lan Zhan. This much eye contact is going to do him in. He has to break it up with little kisses to the tip of his nose.

"No regrets?" asks Lan Zhan.

"No," says Wei Ying, and then squints at him. "Didn't we cover this earlier?"

"You were in heat." Which is a tactful way to say that the desperation of the heat leads people to say things they don't always mean.

"So you were just going to worry about whether we were ever gonna do it again until we did it a second time?"

"People who win this show as a couple don't always stay together," says Lan Zhan. Ugh, that's such a valid point. Wei Ying hates it when people out-logic him; he likes to think that he's a very logical person. He bounces on Lan Zhan's cock in retaliation, the knot pulling at his rim like a plug, which makes both of them gasp. In hindsight, that was as much punishment for Wei Ying as it was for Lan Zhan.

"Well, I'd like to try," he mumbles, pressing his face into the crook of Lan Zhan's head. Lan Zhan strokes his back, acknowledgement that he heard.

There's a flitting sound, too loud to be the drones, which resolve themselves into helicopter rotor blades. Wei Ying's head snaps up so quickly he nearly slices himself on Lan Zhan's cheekbone.

"No way," he says. "They're here already? Last year we were all still freaking out for three hours after the end time hoping we weren't going to get shanked in the time between the fireworks and the helicopters arrived."

The helicopter lands on the plateau near them, strong enough that Wei Ying gathers his robes up as they start to flutter and pulls Lan Zhan's hair back for him.

The doors open as they wait for them. From Wei Ying's experience, they only stay for a few minutes; the final challenge is getting onto one in time.

He starts hopefully, "We could –" And then he tries to stand and Lan Zhan's knot pulls against his ass enough that he gurgles and has to immediately sit back down on it. Lan Zhan's eyes flutter shut as he exhales. Lan Zhan had punched it in and out of him repeatedly last time, like he was fisting Wei Ying, but he's just not stretched open enough this time.

"I'll carry you," says Lan Zhan after they both take a breath to recover.

"You have a broken leg," Wei Ying says incredulously.

Lan Zhan blinks. "I'll carry you... slowly."

Wei Ying doesn't even get a chance to protest, because Lan Zhan is hoisting Wei Ying up with his arms and standing already. Wei Ying makes a wild swipe for their bags, clutching them to his side as Lan Zhan stands, takes a moment to brace them, and then walks towards the helicopter, the clack of his cane hard against the rock.

This is the most undignified thing Wei Ying has ever done, and he literally got his ass reamed out so hard he squirted twice on national television a few hours ago. The worst bit is that his body thinks that every little shift, every step that Lan Zhan makes is just a way to slide his cock and his knot against Wei Ying's very sensitive insides, so he's a twitching hot mess by the time they reach the helicopter.

He has to squeeze his eyes shut and brace his head against Lan Zhan's shoulder when Lan Zhan makes the extra high step up from the ground into the helicopter itself; it feels like Lan Zhan is trying to ram an extra few inches inside Wei Ying.

"Under other circumstances," says Lan Zhan, his voice like gravel. The back of his neck where Wei Ying is holding onto is damp with sweat, and he smells like desire.

"Yeah," says Wei Ying, strained. "Super sexy. Let's write that down."

He squeezes Lan Zhan's shoulders in silent thanks as Lan Zhan finally gets them onto a seat, Wei Ying kneeling backwards in his lap, strapping the safety belt around Wei Ying's back.

The helicopter doors close, and Lan Zhan helps slide a headset over Wei Ying's head.

"Congratulations!" A super chirpy voice sounds way too close to his ears and Wei Ying screams a little. He jerks around to come face-to-face with a cameraperson and interviewer sitting half a step away on the other side of the helicopter. Fuck, he hadn't even noticed them at all, facing the wrong way and too busy trying not to come like another three times around Lan Zhan's knot. And this is new.

Usually, the helicopter ride is an oasis, a moment of silence and safety as a contestant gathers themselves and lets themselves relax after two weeks of paranoia and heat-craze. He's always used it as the first uninterrupted nap after the competition. Or – maybe it's just the single omegas that get that treatment? He's never had to take notice of how the coupled up contestants are treated before.

The interviewer lady has carried on talking while Wei Ying gets over his shock – she's already asked something that he's totally missed.

"I'm very proud of Wei Wuxian," says Lan Zhan, super professionally like he's doing an arranged talking head interview instead of literally sitting with his pants down and his cock up someone else's ass. He's even switched back to stage names.

"Me too," he says on auto-pilot, and doesn't miss the amused look that Lan Zhan gives him. He feels the slight squeeze from Lan Zhan's hand cupped around his ass as well, and hopes it means that Wei Ying wants it to mean, which is that Wei Ying gets to lie back down snuggled against Lan Zhan's chest and Lan Zhan will handle the interview instead.

He listens in – it's odd, hearing Lan Zhan's voice come in through the headset on a slight delay from the vibrations he can feel through his chest – but Lan Zhan somehow manages to keep it completely bland.

"I was attracted to him during the first half, but understood that he was a Career Omega," and "I have a lot of respect for his abilities," and "I'm looking forward to the next stage as we get to know each other better." That sort of thing.

The helicopter ride is long enough that Wei Ying feels Lan Zhan's knot start to go down, the pressure in his ass not as firm. He glances out; there's probably a little way left. He reaches behind him and undoes the safety belt clasp.

"Excuse me," he says. He slides his feet onto the ground and straightens his legs in one movement, raising just his ass up in a 90 degree angle fast enough off Lan Zhan's cock that Lan Zhan's come and his slick splatters dribbles out. His gaping, dripping asshole is probably right in the centre of the camera shot – or it should be if the camera person is any good at their job at all.

He shakes his ass like a wet dog, spraying droplets everywhere just in case the interviewer and camera person weren't already covered in it, and then presses a little kiss against the corner of Lan Zhan's mouth and folds himself into the seat next to Lan Zhan, sliding his bare, wet ass against the pleather without a care in the world.

"That's better," he says cheerfully into the stunned headset silence.

Wei Ying looks over at Lan Zhan, his cock now swaying to one side, the half-swelled knot stopping it from flopping over completely. The look of complete amusement in his eyes.

Yeah, he has a good feeling about this. It's not just about the (mindblowing) sex; he thinks they can actually make this work.

Lan Zhan makes to tuck himself back in, but Wei Ying stops him with a hand on his arm. "You're going to ruin your clothes if you don't mop up first."

Lan Zhan raises an eyebrow as if he's reading Wei Ying's mind. "Help yourself," he says graciously, and Wei Ying dives down to get his mouth on Lan Zhan's cock.

"Oh my god!" The little squeak comes out through the headset from the interviewer before all other noises are supressed; out of the corner of his eye, Wei Ying sees her press her hand over her mouth, but he doesn't bother looking at her as he licks Lan Zhan clean.

Even only half-hard, Lan Zhan's big, a generous mouthful as Wei Ying slurps louder than necessary. He works his way from the tip down to around his knot, still going down, and finishes up with the little white streak going up from his groin into his abs.

"Thank you," says Lan Zhan with complete sincerity, and slips the waistband of his tracksuit over his cock.

Wei Ying leans up with a pout and Lan Zhan meets him for a kiss, softer than it should be considering Wei Ying still has Lan Zhan's come and his own slick in his mouth. He settles against Lan Zhan's side, draped across him like a kept omega.

"Sorry, you were saying?" he asks the interviewer.

Ω

Chapter Text

They're not the first back to base, probably because they were near the opposite end of the island, so when Wei Ying peeks into the Winners' Room, he sees Huaisang first, tired and dishevelled in the Solo Omega box. It's a transparent box so that they can still see and hear everything going on, air conditioned and air filtered, but it is nevertheless a box because all the Solo Omega winners are still in heat.

Wei Ying grins, and raises a fist bump at him.

Past him are the Couple Winners, and he takes a moment to parse what he's seeing: Nie Mingjue with Mo Xuanyu. Huh. Well, that's unexpected. Xuanyu doesn't look particularly terrified or traumatised though, and even raises a hand to wave at him. Wei Ying's grin grows wider. Good for him.

He limps into the room – the endorphins of the second knotting are starting to wear off now, and Wei Ying's body really is starting to protest the amount of abuse he's put it through in the last week – and he sees it, the moment Huaisang's eyes widen as Wei Ying walks past the Box.

It's like a domino effect, the surprise jumping from Huaisang to Xuanyu. It takes Xuanyu a moment longer, but he can smell Wei Ying from where he is – he can smell that Wei Ying's heat has broken.

"Hey," he says, dazed, as Wei Ying walks past to join him on the next little marked podium in the Couple Winners section. Even Nie Mingue's eyebrows are raised.

Lan Zhan has a sense of dramatic timing that Wei Ying wouldn't have expected from him, as he chooses that moment to sweep in behind Wei Ying, following him up to stand on the step behind his. His hand is light, but he rests the breadth of his palm across the back of Wei Ying's neck, his fingers curled around the side in the most possessive gesture Wei Ying has seen from him yet. His stomach swoops: it feels right.

"Mingjue-ge," says Lan Zhan, inclining his head. "Xuanyu. Congratulations."

"You too, I gather." Crow's feet of laughter gather at Mingjue's eyes. Yeah, Xuanyu's going to be okay.

"Thank you. Do you happen to know what happened to my brother?"

A grimace passes over Mingjue's face, long enough that Wei Ying starts to feel a stab of alarm, before he speaks. "He won, I think. Unless something happened in the last few hours."

Lan Zhan waits, but whatever it is that has Mingjue unhappy, he's obviously not going to say anything about. That's fair, they're still being filmed. Wei Ying has learnt that while he's not one to mince his words, he's not tactless. Well, he's sure he'll find out later, when he watches the highlights of everyone else's stream.

The time for the next winners to arrive stretches, the long wait time presumably meaning that whoever has arrived has been unceremoniously dumped in the Losers Lounge. (Despite the terrible name, it actually looks way more comfortable than the Winners Room because they get to just collapse in a heap on a giant sofa and cry their commiserations and get actual medical attention.)

Lan Xichen is the next to arrive, which immediately answers Lan Zhan's question. The omega he has in tow is Meng Yao, and when Wei Ying slides his eyes over to Mingjue, he has a badly concealed scowl. Huh, so something definitely happened there then. It doesn't stop Lan Xichen from clapping him on the arm as he walks past, or Nie Mingjue clasping his hand in return.

He gets to see Lan Xichen walk past Mingjue and Xuanyu to see Wei Ying. There's a little 'oh?' of mild surprise to see Wei Ying there, and then a wider 'oh!' moment when he realises it's Lan Zhan stood behind him.

"Congratulations," says Wei Ying as neutrally pleasant as he can because he should probably start off on the right foot for a potential in-law, and leans just a little into Lan Zhan's side. Lan Zhan sways back towards him, like they're a set of matching magnets.

"Thank you," says Lan Xichen, still visibly surprised. It's like Lan Zhan inherited all of the family's poker face capabilities and Lan Xichen not at all. "And you. If, that is, congratulations are the right sentiment?"

"Thanks," says Wei Ying, with a grin. He's enjoying the prolonged sensation of seeing everyone's reactions at him pairing up at long last.

At the same time, Lan Zhan says, "Sales of the Qiankun Bag™ are up by 42% since the beginning of the finale."

There's a moment of silence, and then Lan Xichen says, with poorly concealed amusement, "That's great. Well done, Wangji."

And then he carries on so that he and Meng Yao are standing on their own little podium. Wei Ying turns to Lan Zhan and stares at the side of his face. It's a pretty great profile to stare at. "Lan Zhan," he says eventually, as quietly as he can manage. There are only regular cameras here and no drones, and they're not micced up yet. "Do you actually have a killer sense of humour? I thought – maybe last time had been a fluke."

"My brother thinks I'm very funny," says Lan Zhan, which delightfully tells Wei Ying nothing at all.

Ω

It's distressing how little time they get to spend together after they're all coupled up. After the Winners segment has been filmed of them all trooping off the helicopter and into the room, the producer says, "Cut!" and the room dissolves back into a seamless production of a TV show again. It's jarring, after essentially live streaming for a couple of weeks, to go back to staged shots and camera angles and "Can you do that again, with more emotion?" requests.

They get ushered off the set by a veritable army of crew members – checked over by medical staff, given a whole bunch of antibiotics and jabs for any nasty infections they might have all picked up having outdoor sex and being bled on by other people for two weeks, and then bundled a set of clothes and shown into the shower.

After the shower, Wei Ying looks around for Lan Zhan, who is presumably nearby doing much of the same thing, but another crew member directs him into a small interview room instead.

He'd done this as a solo winner and hadn't minded at all, but hadn't considered how terribly annoying it would be to be immediately separated and herded along as part of a couple.

"Wei Wuxian! Congratulations, a winner for the fourth season in a row!" The interviewer is new – they tend to be new for this segment, some actual celebrity host with presumably a busy schedule who can only fly in to do the glamorous bits. Wei Wuxian recognises her from daytime TV.

"Fourth and probably last," says Wei Ying demurely. Or, a vague attempt at demureness anyway. The point is that people can tell it's fake. He bats his eyelashes at the camera.

"Such a plot twist!" says Sisi, playing into it. "I can see that's a real bite as well, so not just a knot, eh?"

"Well I think if you're going to do it, you might as well go all the way! And there's no one I would have done it with apart from Lan Wangji."

"I think you've moved past the point of calling him by his stage name, haven't you?" She's good. Pointed questions that get to the topics that people are likely discussing on the internet, getting material to fuel the conversation.

"Yes, but that's just for his ears only." Wei Ying winks, like 3 million or however many people watching live haven't already seen him calling him Lan Zhan.

In retrospect, it's good that they got separated this early. It's always a bit of a whiplash for Wei Ying to slide into his media personality. He's good at it, charming and effusive and a little bit flirty, but it's not really what he's like with Lan Zhan, he realises.

They go for a bit longer, long enough that sitting on the high stool is starting to get painful for someone whose ass got blown out earlier that day. He hides it well, he thinks, but he's still grateful when she leans in and says, "Now, the final question. You know what it's going to be. You've never been in this position before, so think carefully."

Wei Ying nods. He does know what it's going to be. As a solo winner, he takes home the full prize money for each of the winners. As part of a couple, they get a choice.

"The prize money. Are you going to Steal It or Share It? If both of you choose to share it, all's good in love and war, you each get half of the amount. If only one of you chooses to steal it, that person gets the full amount and the other person gets nothing. If, however, both of you choose to steal it, then neither of you get anything at all. Nilch. Nada. A big fat zero. What's your choice going to be?"

In the entire history of the show, none of the couple winners have stolen the money. The bad press alone would have tanked whatever sponsorships, engagements, et cetera, et cetera, the extra half of the money would have cancelled out. Everyone has, at least on camera, pretended to actually like the person they knotted with, even if it didn't last afterwards.

Wei Ying tries to look like he's thinking. (When he's actually thinking, he mostly looks like he's sleeping, so he tries not to do that on camera.) He waits. The show doesn't even have to build in a suspenseful pause, he's doing it himself.

And then he says, enunciating very clearly, "I'm stealing."

She clutches her chest like she's been shot and gasps, a long drawn-out affair that lasts a full three seconds longer than it should. Wei Ying appreciates her sense of drama; it really matches his own. "No!"

"Yep," he confirms, popping the 'p'. "I'm taking it all."

Sisi leans forward and looks at him over her little horn-rimmed glasses. "That's a lot of confidence, Wei Wuxian. What if your dear Lan Wangji also chose to steal it?"

Wei Ying shakes his head. "He wouldn't. He's way too nice for that."

"And you don't feel bad about taking his half then?"

"He is rich. He doesn't need it. I, on the other hand, just became forcibly disengaged from my Career Omega career path. I'm gonna need all the funds I can get," he tosses his head with a sniff.

"All right then. For the first time in Hot or Knot history! We! Have! A! Steal!" She flings her hands into the air and a bunch of poppers go off, spraying them in glittery bits of confetti. Wei Ying jumps, laughing as he's caught off guard.

"Have the production crew had these lying around for ten years, waiting for someone to finally steal?" He asks, fishing confetti out of his hair; he hadn't even noticed the little fuckers.

"Almost definitely," she informs him, and pops one last one into his face. "Now, let's see what happened with your partner."

They cut there, which feels almost anti-climactic. "I have to go do this interview with Lan Wangji now. I am so excited," she informs him as she hops off her stool. The crew indicates that Wei Ying needs to wait in here while that happens, since she'll be coming back to film his reaction afterwards.

"Don't forget to act surprised," she says.

"I won't," promises Wei Ying.

She laughs off camera as she wiggles her fingers in a farewell. "You're very good at this, Wei Wuxian. I hope we get to work together again."

At least Wei Ying doesn't have to sit on the stool if he's just waiting for Sisi to come back. Hopefully, Lan Zhan's interview will be quick, since he's the concise type. He slides down the wall to sit down opposite the cameraman, and stretches his legs out with a sigh.

"You really stealing, man?" The guy – Ouyang Zizhen, if Wei Ying remembers correctly; he'd been an intern last year and it looks like he impressed enough to land it as a full-time gig – asks curiously, unwrapping a cereal bar of some sort. Wei Ying is forcibly reminded that he hasn't eaten in a hot while.

"Yeah, I mean, the real answer is that it doesn't matter, right? Not if you plan on staying together. If one of you steals and you're a real couple, the money is kind of both of yours anyway." Wei Ying drops the media persona. "You don't happen to have another cereal bar, do you?"

Zizhen fishes one out from his pocket. "Yeah, it's been in my jeans for like ten hours though, if you don't mind?"

"That's what he said," murmurs Wei Ying absently, peeling it apart and devouring it in two bites. Zizhen snickers. "Thanks. Come hit me up when your contract for this season's up if you don't have another gig lined up. I feel bad for stealing your food when I'm literally about to win a huge amount of money."

"You got a job going?" asks Zizhen sceptically. "Didn't you just say that you're now unemployed?"

"I'm marrying rich, I'm sure there's something," says Wei Ying with a shrug. "Again, also why the prize money doesn't really matter. Plus, I'm an influencer, I always need video staff."

"Must be nice," says Zizhen wistfully. "But yeah, thanks."

The interviewer arrives back at that point – which, wow, was brief even by Lan Zhan's standards – and Wei Ying pushes himself back up the wall. His ass is throbbing even looking too hard at the barstool thing.

"Not to like, TMI," says Wei Ying, which is a ridiculous thing to say given he has all of his clothes on right now, "but can I get a cushion or something? My ass is battered."

Someone on crew bustles around to find him something – eventually one of the sofa throws folded up into a little square pad that Wei Ying can perch on – as Zizhen busies himself doing nothing with the camera to hide his laughter.

There's a screen set up just under the camera that they swivel to look at, with the footage just captured from Lan Zhan's interview. They run through much of the same line of questioning that Wei Ying did, and Wei Ying watches him with interest.

He'd seen Lan Zhan's opening interview before the show started – he'd watched all of them for research purposes – and he remembers Lan Zhan being professional and articulate, but largely devoid of personality. It's always interesting to go back and see how his opinions of people change once he's met them in person, how he can spot little tics or habits they do in front of the camera and be able to interpret them differently with context.

But Lan Zhan is much the same as his opening interview; like how Wei Ying has a media personality that's him, but a little more of him, it appears Lan Zhan's media personality is him but a little less of him: professional, eloquent, thoughtful. And concise. Terribly, terribly concise.

Wei Ying sees the company CEO in that persona; he hadn't, quite, been able to imagine Lan Zhan running a company before.

He's been distracted, he thinks, by the musing over Lan Zhan's media persona – he lost the answer to a number of questions. But the important bit is coming up. Zizhen moves his body camera for a better angle of Wei Ying's face.

On screen:

"…If, however, both of you choose to steal it, then neither of you get anything at all. Nilch. Nada. A big fat zero. What's your choice going to be?"

"Share." Lan Zhan answers immediately, no sense of suspense at all.

"...Okay. Share it is. Are you worried that Wei Wuxian will steal it from you? I spoke to him just now."

"Then whether I worry about it or not matters little," says Lan Zhan. Infuriatingly true. "But no, I am not worried."

"Let's take a look at what he did." And then it fades away to a complicated looping Russian doll situation where Lan Zhan is watching a recording of Wei Ying's interview while Wei Ying's watching a recording of Lan Zhan watching a recording of Wei Ying's interview.

They get to the moment where Wei Ying can hear his own voice, tinny and faint over the speakers. "Steal!" Wei Ying watches Lan Zhan for a reaction, and grins to himself when there isn't one.

They pause the video. "You just said that you weren't worried," says the interviewer, fake concern heavy in her voice. "But it looks like you had cause to be."

"I am not worried," repeats Lan Zhan. "Wei Ying deserves the money."

"He – deserves it?"

"Yes. There should be a third option. Share, steal, and... surrender, perhaps, if you would like to continue the alliteration."

Wei Ying sits back smugly.

"Surrender!" squeals Sisi delightedly at this turn of events, before remembering that she's in front of the wrong half of the couple to give her an appropriate response to that. "How chivalrous of you. I'll feed that back to the producers, although I have to admit that it's not likely to be a popular choice!"

They pause the video there.

"Now, you don't look surprised at all," says Sisi, wagging her finger at Wei Ying.

He spreads his hands in a modest shrug. "We didn't discuss this segment specifically, but I already knew that Lan Wangji was never here for the money." (He was never here for the heat mating either, but Wei Ying glosses over that part.)

"Besides, I'd say he's won the best prize of all, right?"

Wei Ying loves this interviewer, because she sets him right up for it, with her eyes wide and hand ready to fly to her mouth. "Oh? And what's that?"

"Me, of course."

They cut the interview there.

Ω

WEEK 0.5, THE NEXT YEAR

"Hello everyone, and welcome to Hot or Knot: Behind the Sheets. I'm your host, Wei Wuxian, thanks for joining me tonight. I've got with me a winner from last year's season of Hot or Knot, Nie Huaisang, who's going to give us a bit of a preview as to what to expect in the upcoming few weeks. Huaisang, nice to see you again."

Wei Ying moves the mic from his face to Huaisang's, and grins at his friend. Wei Wuxian has done a few sponsored events, started his own streaming projects since last year, but it's his first time acting as a celebrity host of anything. He's wearing a replica of his robes from last year, the red and the black ones he was wearing when he got knotted by Lan Zhan, just to visually remind viewers who he is if they've forgotten.

Huaisang looks good as well, his hair grown out a little longer this year and wearing a tracksuit that somehow looks terribly luxurious as well as comfortable. They're items from his own clothing line, launched this past year off the back of his Hot or Knot win with the tagline: 'Fashion you could die in'. Well, Wei Wuxian found it funny, anyway.

They've kept in touch, he and Huaisang, and Mo Xuanyu as well, so it's a little odd greeting Huaisang like he's a long-lost friend rather than someone he sees every other week or so when he's not travelling, but the director asked them to reveal snippets of their familiarity slowly, to get the audience hooked.

"You too, Wei-ge. It's odd to see you on that side of the table." 

It is odd, being on this side of the chair, and they both know it. Everything feels a little bit different from this angle, and it's taking him a moment to adjust to the idea that the cameras are behind him and he's not meant to turn to face them. The whole interviewer gig is weird, actually. He's been given prompts and questions that he has to get through, but he's also been told to feel free to ad-lib and try and get interesting reactions out of the contestants (which is probably what Wei Ying is better at than reading off cue cards).

"Isn't it just! But I'm glad the show asked me to come back to host some of the interview segments, it's always nice to catch up with old friends. How are you feeling about this upcoming season?"

"It's good. I'm ready to see what challenges the show comes up with this time. It feels like the staff always come up with something new."

"Yeah, the fake pregnancy sure was an escalation from the fake baby. Which of the new contestants do you think would be a good partner for that challenge this year?"

"I'm not going to give it away. I've done my research though, and I've got two or three people in mind. But it would be a coupling for the challenge only, I think."

They've already talked about this, outside of the interview room; one of the first things they discussed when Huaisang mentioned joining the show again.

"Oh? You're not looking for a long-term partner."

Huaisang looks from Wei Wuxian, into the camera. "Oh, not at all. I hear this show needs a new Career Omega, after all."

Ω

"Wei Ying!" The call from the living room is faint, which actually means that it was really loud.

"Coming!" Wei Ying darts from the third floor down the stairs, skidding across the polished hardwood floors hard enough that his slippers make the most atrocious squealing sound, and half rolls and half falls over the arm of the sofa, into Lan Zhan's lap. He grins up at Lan Zhan. "Hello."

"Hello," says Lan Zhan bemusedly, looking down at him.

Wei Ying rights himself, just as the opening shot finishes and the voiceover begins.

"Tonight, on Hot or Knot. We meet our omega contestants for the first time, and get to know their dreams and desires. Some, returning faces. Some, fresh faced and unaware of the challenges that lie ahead."

"What's this, Lan Zhan? Reality TV? I didn't think you were the type," says Wei Ying as he turns the volume up.

"I rarely indulge," says Lan Zhan in that ever-dry tone of his that Wei Ying has grown to love and appreciate. "But I found out that my favourite celebrity was making a guest appearance."

"Pah," says Wei Ying, arranging Lan Zhan's arm around his back the way he likes it. "Who cares about some celebrity when you've got a nice omega at home?"

"There is also an important business matter," adds Lan Zhan. Wei Ying frowns. He hasn't heard about this bit. He doesn't get involved in the everyday of Lan Zhan's job, but generally Lan Zhan tells him things that are classified under 'important business matters'. "I would like Huaisang to get through to the finale, and send him a prototype of the Qiankun Bag™ 2.0 to use, so we will need to vote for him. You are allowed to vote for one contestant every 24 hours."

"Ah, Lan Zhan. I didn't think you were one for audience participation," Wei Ying laughs. Even after a year, he's often caught out by Lan Zhan's knack for understatement. 

Lan Zhan presses a smattering of kisses to Wei Ying's temple, and Wei Ying settles down as the narration begins. Even though it's been a year since he was last on the show, seeing it move on without him feels like a new chapter in his life. A new, exciting chapter.

"Tonight, on Hot or Knot..."