Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It started much like the first time, with a nightmare. No, not quite. Though it was the nightmare that had signaled the beginning of their end, it started with bliss. For it was the seemingly perfect fairytale ending that Merlin dared to lose. The absolute happiness he had found with his king that came under threat.

It started with a dinner.

Too many nights over the past week, he and Arthur had moved like ships in the night. The only time they saw each other was when they both collapsed exhausted into bed and those few brief moments when they kissed each other awake.

With the trip to Essetir for the centennial celebration fast approaching, they both found themselves overworked. There was so much to prepare. Arthur had even more nobles to deal with, arrangements to make, work to delegate to account for his absence. Merlin was spreading himself thin with lesson plans and strengthening the castle’s magical defenses. Without Clio, his magical assistant/apprentice there was no way he would have gotten any of it done.

Finally, after all their preparation, they were scheduled to leave tomorrow afternoon. Which meant a week of celebrating with various nobles and little time to just be alone. Tonight was their last chance, and Merlin planned to take advantage of every minute of it.

He had planned an intimate dinner just for the two of them in Arthur’s chambers. He had set everything up, the plates, the candles, the roaring fireplace. Now there were only two things left to do.

1. Wait for Arthur
2. Get rid of his chatty assistant

“So I tell him that I totally can do it without a winged-horse feather, but he doesn’t believe me. I had no choice! I’m not going to let some old man show me up, so—”

“Hey,” Merlin interrupts. “That old man happens to be my mentor and one of the greatest minds when it comes to magical knowledge.”

“Well, yeah, but no offense, you’re just about as dated as he is. I’m telling you, the future of magic is evolving. Soon we’re not going to have all these complicated rare ingredients. We got to evolve. Anyway, so I substitute in this goose feather instead.”

“A goose feather? That worked?”

“Well…” Clio moved from the spot she had taken lounging in front of the fireplace. “It didn’t not work. So the patient has been honking every time she sneezes. Nothing more than a little kink to work out.”

Gods, Merlin was going to owe Gaius for taking over her training temporarily.

“As much as I’d love to help you brainstorm how to fix your little problem, if you don’t notice I’m a bit busy at the moment.”

Clio glanced up at him, “with what?”

He gestured to the table.

“Arthur is still in conference with those old bastards, he won’t be here for at least fifteen more minutes. That’s why you haven’t had the food part brought up yet.”

“That’s King Arthur to you.”

She beamed at him. “Noticed you didn’t correct me about the old bastards though.”

As Arthur was currently meeting with the eldest members of the council, the remnants of Uther’s reign even Arthur couldn’t shake, yeah, he couldn’t fault her as he’d called them worse himself.

“You got time. So think, how do I stop her from honking?”

That’s it! With a flick of his hand he sent a little spark from the fireplace just beside her head. It flashed and she jumped up to her feet. “Hey!”

“Sorry, can’t help you. Now out.” He pushed her towards the door.

“Fine! I get when I’m not wanted.”

Just as Clio was walking out the door, Arthur was striding down the hallway.

“I stand corrected, only took five minutes.” Clio said.

“And hello to you too Clio.” Arthur replied.

“Would you do us all a favor and take care of your little sorcerer there? He’s throwing sparks at me and it’s quite rude. He’s a bit too wound up these days if you get what I mean.”

Arthur blushed violently red. He tried to stammer out some response.

Clio just smiled at him. “You know, no one would know you were a king with what a blushing virgin you can be.”

“Bye Clio!” Merlin grabbed his poor bumbling king and dragged him into the room.

“My gods, where did you find that girl? I think only Gwaine matches her in crass.” Arthur said with a laugh.

It was a rhetorical question as they both knew where they’d found her. Clio unlike many of the other’s Merlin trained, had not come from Camelot. They had found her after a group of knights had taken down a war lord’s compound. She had been imprisoned there for the last two years of her life, taken for her magic.

After being freed, she’d begged to come to Camelot because she had heard of the new laws protecting magic users. It was a strange twist or maybe not so strange. Hate had once made Camelot the most dangerous kingdom in Albion. Now love made it the most welcoming and safest.

“You know I only jest,” Arthur seemed to take Merlin’s silent musing as being upset with his choice of words. “You know she’s great. Gives you the same treatment as your apprentice as you used to give me as a servant. There’s no sorcerer or sorceress I trust more than her besides you.”

“I know.” Merlin curled his arms around Arthur’s waist and leaned forward to kiss him. “I’ve missed you.”

Arthur kissed him back harder. “I’ve missed you too. So much. Who knew you had to work so hard to get time off?”

“I do recall a naïve king who seemed to think this would give us more time to spend together.”

“Alright, so maybe now I understand why my father made everyone come here for tournaments or sent me on diplomatic missions. It’s hard to arrange to leave the kingdom as a king. But at least there’s the two of us.” Arthur looped his arms around Merlin’s shoulders. “Now, I got a certain note today demanding that I be here for very important reasons of state. So tell me, my court sorcerer, what important reasons need to be dealt with?”

Merlin grinned. “Well, you have been a bit derelict in certain duties my king, most specifically to your court sorcerer and that could spell trouble for the whole kingdom.”

“Too right. What do you suppose as a solution?”

“A dinner, just the two of us. No talk of duty, only pleasant company.”

“Whatever pleases you, my love. You know I live to serve your every desire.”

Merlin couldn’t keep a straight face at his overexaggerated proclamation. “Gods, if the Arthur I first met heard you saying that, I’m pretty sure he’d slap you.”

“I’m pretty sure it was the Arthur you first met that deserved to be slapped.” Arthur gave him one last kiss and then pulled him towards the table. “Still can’t believe you were brazen enough to use magic against me in an open market.”

“I can’t believe you were too idiotic to notice.”

They both laughed at that.

Merlin called for Mary, one of the servants on staff tonight, to bring them food from the kitchen. They talked the whole night away, laughing and joking about their earliest adventures. By this point, Merlin had come clean about most of his magical contributions. Some Arthur thanked him for. Some Arthur slapped him for. Others, Arthur held his hand as he laid his guilt bare. But always, he listened.

It was moments like this, staring across the dinner table at Arthur, that Merlin still couldn’t believe this was his life. This beautiful, courageous man loved him. Arthur accepted him for all that he is and all he had ever been.

“I love you, Arthur.” Merlin interrupted whatever joke Arthur was making. Perhaps his tongue was a bit heavy with wine, but the words still flowed as naturally as Arthur’s name.

Arthur paused and reached out to pull Merlin out of his chair and onto his lap. “And I love you, Merlin.” To enhance his words, he laid hot kisses down Merlin’s neck.

Merlin leaned into his touch. His eyes sparked gold as he sent the dishes far away, hoping the hint was enough to tell Arthur exactly what he wanted. He must have gotten the hint as he lifted Merlin to sit on the edge of the table.

They said nothing more that night. At least not in words. But every touch was a burst of love, devotion, and passion. The hours spent apart drifted away as their bodies became one as if they had always been destined to be.

The fire had dimmed, the candles extinguished, and the moonlight tucked away behind the curtains, so the only light was the gold still lingering in Merlin’s eyes. Exhausted, but sated, Merlin tucked them closed and curled into Arthur’s chest.

“Good night, my king.” Merlin whispered.

“Sweet dreams, my warlock.” Arthur whispered back.

Only Merlin’s dreams were not sweet. The nightmares came again. But this time, he did not dream of the demons of past, instead he dreamt of the future.

The world of his nightmare was ice cold. It seeped into his skin like a winter frost even as a violent summer storm whirled around him. Lightning was the only illumination. The crashes of thunder the only sounds he could hear even as he felt the screams of Arthur’s name tear through his throat.

There were flashes of images with each strike. Merlin saw Arthur’s crown upside-down on a cracked pavement.  The golden hilt of a sword. An old fountain with a broken waterspout. But none of these were what left Merlin’s heart ripped apart.

Arthur. His beautiful King lay on the ground. Unmoving, his eyes open yet unseeing. Merlin ran to him, clutching at his neck and face. There was no pulse. No breath. His skin was cold. Arthur was dead. He was dead and no matter how much magic Merlin poured into him, he would not wake.

It was with that final image of his lover dead in his arms that he broke from the dream. He woke screaming Arthur’s name. The only thing that answered was their empty chambers and the curtains billowing with the soft summer breeze.

Unable to pull air into his lungs, body shaking, Merlin could only turn to the spot where Arthur should have been. In the year they had been sharing a bed, Arthur never got up first. Even when he woke before Merlin, he would lay their watching him sleep. Yet, he was not there. He was nowhere in their chambers.

“Arthur!”

Chapter Text

Arthur had zero regrets for putting off his last meeting, even when he’d been forced out of bed at an ungodly hour that morning. When he had seen Merlin’s little note requesting his presence, Arthur had asked Leon and Gwaine to wait until the next day to finish their plans for Arthur’s absence. The payoff had been well worth the trouble.

Remembering the feel of Merlin’s warm body beneath him drew a tiny smile to his face even as he should have been listening to the conversation.

“Can you maybe not shove the morning glow thing in our faces?” Gwaine interrupted Arthur’s train of thought. It took a second for Arthur to register exactly what it was he had said. “I mean it’s just not fair man. Some of us have to work for that privilege.”

Before Arthur could even snipe at him, Leon had cuffed him over the head.

“What! Don’t blame me for having the courage to say it.” Gwaine dodged the hit this time.

“You are aware it would take one word and I have can have you in the stocks for the duration of my absence?” Arthur pointed out.

“I mean, I think such an order would take more than one word.”

Rather than rise to the bait of Gwaine’s teasing, Arthur turned back to Leon. “So, everything is in place as I asked.”

“Yes, Arthur. I have rescheduled anything that would require your direct presence until your return. I’ll handle the council for this weeks usual meeting and have notes drawn up for you to review later. Gwaine will be taking care of the knight’s training and ensuring maintained defenses in your absence.”

“Wait? What? That’s why you wanted me here. You want me to stay behind and babysit all the knights. I had plans you know! I was going to get roaring drunk and find the prettiest maiden or second prettiest lad Essetir has to offer.”

“And that’s why you’re not coming.” Arthur mumbled, though he paused as he contemplated what he said. “I’m going to regret asking, but why only second prettiest lad, but the first prettiest maiden?”

“I mean you have the prettiest lad already and I have no intention of having my head removed from my shoulders any time soon by making a move on him.”

Now that Arthur could smile at. Seemed Gwaine wasn’t as stupid as he thought.

“Well, that’s that then. Men, I must say I have been a bit nervous about leaving the kingdom for such an extended journey, but despite Gwaine’s antics there’s no one else I trust more than you two to take care of everything.” And he was being honest. Leon already handled so much of the diplomatic side of things as his second. Gwaine was highly resourceful, and responsible when he needed to be. The only thing Arthur couldn’t trust him with was a bar tab.

“You can trust us, Arthur. You and Merlin should enjoy yourselves.” Leon said.

Arthur smiled. Oh he intended to enjoy every minute in Merlin’s homeland. In fact, he planned on making this their most memorable journey yet. Absently, Arthur’s hand fell to his pocket and his smile grew more tender.

The happy moment shattered when a coarse desperate scream tore through the castle. Literally, as it seemed like every window burst at the call of his name. “ARTHUR!”

Before the glass had even fallen to the ground, Arthur was running. Only Merlin was powerful enough to cause such a reaction. A thousand scenarios of what might have prompted the cry raced through his head, each worst than the last. All Arthur knew was that Merlin needed him that very moment and his legs couldn’t carry him fast enough.

What he found inside was too much like that night not long ago. Their chambers looked like it had been ripped apart by a windstorm. Every bit of furniture thrown against the wall and broken glass scattered across the floor. Thankfully, there was no Rolan, no assailant that threatened his love which meant he could put his sword away.

The true devastation lay in Merlin’s huddled form. He was hunched over, sobbing into Arthur’s empty place in the bed. His pillow was clutched to Merlin’s chest. Brokenly, he was mumbling to himself. Words too hysterical to make out.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Arthur had found him like this after a nightmare. Arthur rarely, if ever left their bed until he knew Merlin was awake because he feared something such as this. Yet, it had never been this bad, even in those early days after Rolan’s trial. His magic had thrown some things around, broken others here and there, but never outside their chambers.

No, something was very different about this than just an ordinary nightmare. But what Merlin needed was the same.

“Merlin!” Arthur hurried to his side, unsure if he was even awake or still asleep. “Merlin wake up. I’m here.”

His eyes were still gold when his head snapped up to look directly at him. The magic bled from them as they settled on his face. “Arthur?”

“What—” the rest of Arthur’s question turned into a whoosh of air as Merlin’s body collided with his chest. Merlin burrowed into him so hard he couldn’t breathe. But Merlin didn’t seem to be either as he choked out hiccupping sobs.

It took a while for Arthur to make out what he was saying. When he did, it nearly broke his heart. “You’re alive. You’re alive.”

“It’s alright. I’m here. You’re safe.” Arthur tried to sooth, but whatever had set him off couldn’t be soothed away.

Merlin was shaking so hard his teeth were rattling. He barely seemed to be drawing in a full breath, each one shorter and harder than the last.

By then, Arthur wasn’t the only one who had made it to his chambers. Fearing danger, Leon and Gwaine had both followed after him. They stood in the open doorway, unsure what to do. There was only one thing they could do to help at that point. Arthur mouthed the word ‘Gaius’ and they nodded in understanding, closing the door behind them as they went.

With his attention diverted, he hadn’t noticed Merlin’s hands were snake up his chest, reaching for his heart. His head was now tucked against Arthur’s throat, so his ear lay against his pulse point.

“Shh, now.” Arthur held him closer. “I’m so sorry, Merlin. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”

“You were dead.” He mumbled. “You were dead, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t…”

“It was just a dream.” Arthur said, but that seemed to be the wrong thing.

“No!” Merlin snapped away from him. His eyes wild with fear. “It wasn’t a dream! It was a warning. A prophecy. You’re going to die, Arthur. Unless I stop it, you’re going to die. Then I woke up and you were gone, and you’re never gone, and I thought—I feared—I—I was too late. I can’t be too late. I can’t lose you, Arthur. Not ever.” His rant morphed back into sobs, although these were near silent and dejected.

“Oh, Merlin.” Arthur gathered him up close again. “Nothing is going to happen to me. You won’t lose me, never. If your dream was the future, then it was a message from the gods to ensure that. Whatever threat lays ahead of us, we can be ready now to face it together. You’re not alone anymore, remember.”

Finally, his words seemed to calm whatever storm erupted inside of him. He sagged against Arthur’s chest taking a deep breath. Still he continued to hold him until there was a gentle knock at the door.

“Come in,” Arthur called, recognizing the pattern instantly.

Gaius pushed open the door with concern written all over his face, and all of it focused on Merlin. “Is everything alright? Merlin, my dear boy, are you hurt?”

Merin shook his head.

The original purpose Arthur had sent for him was because he had feared Merlin might not be able to calm down on his own. With him now breathing easier, he had another question for Gaius. “Were they any reports of anyone injured?”

“No sire. No one was harmed.”

“Injured?” Finally moving his head away from Arthur’s chest, he looked around the room and realized the chaos his magic had wreaked. “By the gods! Did I do this? I didn’t…I never meant…”

“No one was hurt.” Arthur assured him. “Your magic didn’t hurt anyone, alright so don’t even start down that road. Only a few broken windows,” alright so it was every window in the castle, but he wasn’t going to mention that “nothing that can’t be fixed.” Still, Arthur suspected Merlin would spiral if his thoughts were left to dwell on the incident. It was best to keep him focused on the most important matter at hand. “Gaius, what do you know of prophetic dreams?”

“Prophetic dreams?” Gaius gave Merlin a sympathetic look. “Like Morgana’s? Are you sure?”

Merlin nodded. “I can’t explain how I know; I just know. My magic has been more in tune now than ever before. Something is coming and Arthur is going to die if I don’t stop it.”

“If we don’t stop it.” Arthur corrected. He leaned forward and kissed Merlin’s forehead. “Perhaps if you tell us what you saw, we might be able to help you understand what it means.”

Merlin shivered at the prospect of saying it aloud. Holding tight to Arthur’s wrist, he forced himself to say the words. “There was a storm, a violent summer storm. I saw three images, just glimpses really. Your crown upside-down over a cracked pavement. An old broken water fountain. And the hilt of a sword, solid gold and well-polished.”

Gaius interrupted. “Was there anything specific you remember about the sword. Markings or such?”

He shook his head. “There weren’t any markings, but it looked familiar. Like I’d seen it before, but I can’t remember where. But then…” He swallowed, closing his eyes as he relayed what appeared to be the worst part of the nightmare. “You were dead. You were laying on the ground unmoving. Your eyes were open but unseeing. There was no injury I could see, but I couldn’t wake you. You had no pulse or breath, and my magic couldn’t revive you.”

Arthur couldn’t imagine seeing Merlin in such as state, even in a dream. If that had been his nightmare, he would have done worse than just break every window. But now they knew what to look for and they could avoid such a fate.

Soon after they had gotten together, when Merlin had introduced him to the dragon, Kilgharrah had told him that already they were charting a new destiny. Though he’d kept the particular details a secret from Merlin, he had foreseen a different path. One of infinitely more heartbreak, betrayal, and loss. Their love, acknowledging and embracing their love had changed everything. Arthur could only believe that they could do so once again.

Interrupting his thoughts, Gaius said. “That sounds like the affects of a curse or a spell. I will search through my books and see if I can find what might cause such a death. Once we know that, perhaps we could find a defense against it.”

“Please, Gaius. I would be most grateful.” Merlin said.

“Of course.” Gaius patted his shoulder and headed towards the door.

“Are any of the knights outside the door?” Arthur asked before he had closed it behind him.

In answer to his question, Gwaine popped his head in. “How’d you know? I wasn’t trying to spy or anything. I just wanted to make sure old Merls there was alright and all.”

“Sure.” Arthur would deal with his snooping habits later. “I want you to spread the word as well as have a messenger sent to inform everyone our journey will be delayed. We’ll be leaving in the morning instead of today. And grab a servant to have them bring up the makings for a proper bath and a full breakfast.”

“Fine, princess. But only for Merlin’s sake.”

The moment the door was closed, Merlin was immediately protesting. “No, Arthur, what are you doing? We can’t delay our journey. King Lot is expecting us there by late tomorrow afternoon. It could be seen as an insult to show up late. I’m fine now. I can be ready and—”

Arthur pressed his lips to Merlin to stop his rant. He kissed his breathless enough to get a word in once it was done. “Merlin, he’s not going to be insulted. And there’s no way you’re going to be ready to travel. You’re still shaking, your skin is ice cold, and you inadvertently used enough magic that I can see you’re exhausted. Besides, I want to give Gaius more time to research your dream before we step foot outside these walls. Though I must say I’m surprised you want to go anywhere after such a dream.”

He opened his mouth again and Arthur caught it. “You’ve spent your whole life facing these dangers alone, pushing yourself past your limits, all the while it slowly tore at your soul. I can’t stop you from spending the next however long it takes from going overprotective on me or from worrying about what you saw. But I can take care of you, here and now, and show you that’s you’re not alone. I love you so much, Merlin and I make you this vow: as long as I live you will never face the future alone. Do you understand?”

Merlin couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Good, then let your king pamper you.”

Chapter Text

Arthur had seen Merlin prepare a bath more than enough times that he was pretty sure he had the idea down. After the tub was brought in and the water was delivered, he just had to heat it up, right? That’s all there was to it.

It was simple enough to pour the water from the bucket into the pot to heat. He knew how to make fire and soon the water reached a low boil and he poured it into the tub. See, Arthur had this. He did not need Merlin’s help.

Behind him, Merlin was resting his eyes. Or at least so he had said. Arthur had a sneaking suspicion that each time he turned his back Merlin was staring at him. The little giggles didn’t help Merlin’s protests to the contrary.

For so long Merlin had served him, and right now, Arthur wanted to give back a little of the devotion he’d received.

It also made him feel like at least he was doing something for Merlin. Watching him fall apart as he spoke of his vision had brought back feelings of uselessness from the incident with Rolan. Back then he’d been proven powerless too many times in his attempts to keep Merlin safe. Of all people, Arthur knew what Merlin was feelings, that sick dread of fear that you couldn’t protect the one he loved.

But right now they had each other, and Arthur was going to make the most of it.

While Arthur waited for the water to heat, he turned his attention back towards Merlin. His sorcerer had stretched himself on top of the bedcovers. Arthur took a long moment to appreciate the fine line of his body, the way his nightclothes pooled over the curve of his spine. This was a sight only Arthur knew.

Slowly, he walked over to the bedside table and reached for the small jar of oil that he kept there. Merlin wasn’t watching so he was a bit surprised when oiled hands moved under his nightclothes, but he seemed pleased by the connection. Only, Arthur didn’t head in his usual direction. He glided his hands over Merlin’s back.

“Mmmhh,” Merlin let out a contented moan as Arthur’s strong hands eased the tension caught in his muscles.

Arthur worked his way over his shoulders, through the knots near his spire, and especially the tendons around his neck. By the time Arthur had the last bucket boiling, Merlin had melted into the bed under his ministrations.

He left him there long enough to pour the last bucket into the tub. Hot steam poured over the rim and dissipated into the air.

Proud of himself, Arthur called. “Ready!”

Merlin blinked at him. Sleepy eyes focusing on the tub next to Arthur. And he burst into a fit of laughter, “yeah, if you’re planning on making me into a stew!”

Okay, so maybe he’d made it a tad too hot based on the heat radiating from it. But he’d done what Merlin did. He’d boiled all the water. When he’d said just that Merlin for some reason only laughed harder.

Perhaps he should have been annoyed that his lover was laughing at him when he was trying to be sweet, but honestly, seeing him laugh at all was a delight. The shadows of fear weren’t so prominent on his face anymore, so mission accomplished.

“You don’t boil all the water. You keep a few buckets cold to regulate the temperature.” Merlin explained when he’d finished laughing.

“Oh.” Now Arthur’s face was red for a reason beyond the heat. “I can have more cold brought up to balance it then. But wait? Then there’d be too much water and it would spill everywhere. Maybe I could…” Merlin stood from the bed and waved his hand over the water. The steam cut in half and the water seemed a much more agreeable temperature. “Or you can do that.”

Merlin reached out and started pulling at Arthur’s clothes. “Don’t worry. I know a way you can make it up to me.”

“Anything for you.” Arthur promised.

Piece by piece, Merlin removed the clothes from Arthur’s body as he did every day. Not because he ever had to, by this point it was no longer a chore but a privilege he never intended on giving up. Then he soaked in the sight of his lover’s body as Arthur did the same to him.

They stepped into the tub and naturally drifted together. Merlin sat leaning against Arthur’s chest. Arthur curled his arms around him holding him close.

For a long time they were silent. Each basking in the heat and presence of each other.

Merlin’s eyes were closed, and Arthur almost thought he’d actually fallen asleep on him when he said. “I don’t know how to live a life without you.”

“Neither do I.” Arthur said.

He had known he couldn’t distract Merlin from the vision forever, nor could he release him from the pain of it. And even once the danger passed, there would always be more. Another threat, another possibility for them to be pulled away from each other. It was a fear they would both have to live with.

Merlin turned around so that he was wrapped around Arthur’s lap. “Kiss me. I need to feel you.”

“Yes.”

They made love amongst the steam. Every kiss and touch hyper sensitized by the heat. When the water grew cold, Arthur scooped Merlin up, barely taking enough time to dry them both off before placing him back on the bed. The second time was slower, lazier, as if they were only two bodies seeking out their natural place.

Exhausted, they both tumbled into sleep still holding each other. In the quiet, Merlin suddenly spoke. “I won’t let you die.”

“I know.”

“We’re in this together, no matter what, right?”

“Always.”

Chapter Text

Alright, so for once, maybe Arthur had been right. Merlin had been in no shape to travel after his vision and the traumatic reaction his magic had had to it. It had drained most of his energy. He didn’t know how Morgana had gone all those years getting dreams like that and walking around doing normal person things. Almost like despite the amount of magic he possessed his body wasn’t made to accommodate such dreams. While that could explain why he’d never had a prophetic dream before, it didn’t explain why he’d had one now.

For some reason that was what bothered Merlin the most. Arthur had been in danger hundreds of times before. Why was Merlin only now seeing a vision that foretold his death? This seemed to be the first real danger since they’d gotten together. Maybe since they were closer now – heart, body, and soul – the universe had decided to give him fair warning. Or perhaps as his magic was growing stronger his abilities were also expanding. Another much more terrifying possibility was that this dream was meant to prepare him for it rather than prevent it.

Merlin hated not having the answer. Not having any answers. So excuse him for keeping an extra-extra-definitely-way-over-the-top eye on Arthur.

After he’d let Arthur pamper him, in more ways than one, and spent the majority of the day sleeping, Merlin pushed aside his worries and got to work. If anyone knew how to keep Arthur safe, it was Merlin. At this point he had it down to a science. For years he’d had secret protection charms on all his things, which he made sure was strengthened. Now that he was the official court sorcerer, his protection charms went a little farther than Arthur’s possessions and included most of the castle. Merlin made his rounds insuring they were in proper order.

Still none of it felt like enough.

Which was why he was currently darkening Gaius’s chambers helping him search through his books. Arthur had been begrudgingly left in the care of Clio and Percival and Elyan. (Not to mention that the room they were in was triple spelled) So far, Gaius had found nothing and Merlin wasn’t faring any better.

“It’s got to mean something!” Merlind slammed down the book he’d finished onto the precarious pile. “What’s the point in showing me those images if they don’t mean anything?”

Gaius looked up from his own book with a sigh. “Merlin, I understand you’re worried, but you’ve got to take a breath, boy. You know, it is possible that the images you saw have no direct meaning.”

“What?” Merlin whirled to look at his mentor. “You’re saying the vision doesn’t mean anything? Then what’s the point!”

“I did not say the vision doesn’t mean anything, I simply mean that it might have no direct meaning. As in the images might not be meant to tell you something, but show you something.” Gaius explained.

“Yeah, that really helps,” he bit. After hearing the tone of his own voice he winced and apologized. It wasn’t Gaius’s fault this whole thing was distressing and frustrating. He was doing the best he could with limited knowledge.

If only he could talk to someone who had these types of dreams, like Morgana. But that wasn’t possible. No one had any idea where Morgana was. After Morgause had died, any control she’d had over Morgana seemed to vanish. Her death left Morgana reeling for the truth of who she was and who she wanted to be. The only thing she’d been certain of was that the answers didn’t lie in Camelot. Not to mention that she didn’t feel safe with Uther around.

Some small part of Merlin had hoped that word would spread of the changes in Camelot and she might return so they could start to mend fences. As time continued to pass, that hope had died to barely an ember.

There was really no one to help him solve the mystery of his vision and they were out of time. They needed to start on their journey soon if they were going to make it to King Lot’s castle before the opening ceremonies.

“What do I do then, Gaius? How do I stop this?” Merlin finally said in desperation.

He blew out a long sigh and crossed the room to place a hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know.” Before Merlin could spiral further into his own mini freak out, Gaius said, “But if anyone can figure it out, it is you, Merlin.”

Merlin grabbed his hand and smiled. “Thank you. Your confidence means a lot. Will you keep working on this? I mean, I know you have your other duties to attend to, and I don’t want you to overwork yourself, but—”

“Of course.” Gaius promised. “If I find anything I’ll send you word immediately.”

With that promise, Merlin headed out of Gaius’s office. He wasn’t in the least bit surprised to find Lancelot standing by the door when he stepped outside. The moment he saw him, Lancelot shot him a wide smile. “Ah, Merlin, what a coincidence finding you here.”

“Right, does Gwen know what a terrible liar you are?” Merlin teased.

“Oh, she had me pegged on day one.” Lancelot said.

“You know, I would have thought with it being Arthur’s life in danger this time, he would have had the sense to put a protection detail on himself and not me.”

“He has one, I assure you. Elyan and Percival are going to be his constant companion on this trip so long as you are not by his side. And under no one’s authority except my own, I’m yours.” Lancelot’s expression held no room for argument.

But Lancelot was always like that. A true friend who would do anything to keep those he cared about safe. Merlin knew that Lancelot still held a lot of guilt from the situation with Rolan a year ago. No matter how much Merlin tried to assure him that he had nothing to feel guilty about since Merlin had purposely kept the truth from him, he had been overprotective.

It only made Merlin appreciate him more. Lancelot was a great friend and he didn’t know what he would do without his support. And right now, support was exactly what he needed. In fact, he needed something only Lancelot could provide.

“Then as my new companion, there’s something I need to talk to you about, alone.”

Lancelot didn’t seem to know whether to be surprised Merlin had agreed so easily or wary of what he wanted to talk about. He followed after Merlin without any question.

Merlin led Lancelot to his lab. Yes, Merlin had a lab. When he had officially been appointed court sorcerer, Arthur seemed to think it was important for him to have a space of his own for his duties, studies, experiments, and such. The specifics had been for Merlin to determine.

It wasn’t too far away from Gaius’s chambers so then he didn’t have to run back and forth as much when he needed to consult his mentor. Not that he needed to as much these days. When it came to spell work, Merlin was the best. Though Gaius still had a superior knowledge of potions, Merlin was working on surpassing him soon.

Once the door was closed behind them both, Lancelot turned to him. “So, what don’t you want Arthur knowing about?”

Wincing that he’d been caught already, he turned around with his best puppy dog eyes that he had. “Look, I know it’s unfair to ask you to keep anything from your king and I have no power to order you. You can refuse me, but Lancelot, I really need you with me in this.”

“Oh, I’m really going to hate this.” Lancelot took a seat.

As he hadn’t refused, Merlin took that as his agreement. He walked over to the back wall and used his magic to push the cabinet out of the way. Behind it was a small panel without any handle or opening. With a second wave of magic, he popped it open.

Inside was a single vial. Gently, Merlin removed it and held it out to Lancelot.

“Okay, I was suspicious before all the magical locks. I’m not taking that until you tell me what the hell that is.”

“It’s a potion I’ve been working on, a magic stripping potion.”

“You think it might be a sorcerer after Arthur?”

“Perhaps, but it’s for me. That’s why you need to keep it with you.”

Lancelot stared at him dumbstruck.

There were so many questions circling in his eyes, Merlin knew he had to explain before Lancelot would agree.

Merlin sat down in his chair but didn’t turn to face his friend. “You know how you found the room after Rolan attacked me, the destruction I’d caused. He had threatened Arthur, threatened to use my own magic to harm him and I lost it, my magic lost it. I had no control. Gods, I almost killed Rolan. No matter how much he deserved it, I couldn’t have lived with myself knowing…I’ve killed before, but only to protect others or myself and always when it was my choice…knowing I had lost control of my magic and hurt some one would destroy me. The only thing that stopped me was Arthur. If something happens to him…I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop it. That’s why I need to know someone I trust can do it for me.”

That wasn’t the only reason. He hoped Lancelot wouldn’t stop to think why he had such a potion already made when he’d only received the vision yesterday. Merlin had begun that potion after Rolan. Realizing his magic couldn’t always be controlled was difficult enough, but realizing his power was growing with no end in sight was downright terrifying. No matter his intensions, so much power left unchecked in the hands of a single person could be mean disaster. For his own peace of mind, he’d needed to know there was a way he could be stopped if needed.

“Merlin,” Lancelot didn’t seem to know what to say to the confession. After a minute, he swallowed. “I understand your fears Merlin, truly I do. Honestly, I think it speaks so much for your own wisdom that you’ve thought this through, but I don’t understand why you want it kept a secret from Arthur.”

Of course he would have the sense to ask that question. Merlin had not intended to keep his reason from Lancelot, but when he opened his mouth, the words got caught.

Recognizing the distress on his friend’s face, Lancelot reached out a hand to rest on his shoulder. “What is it?”

“The potion will completely strip me of all magic. The problem is that I am magic.”

Lancelot blinked at him just before he jumped to his feet. “Merlin, that will kill you!”

“Maybe…probably.” He admitted. The theory was still sketchy at best since he wasn’t sure exactly how much of himself was magic.

“No, Merlin. I can’t do that. I could never hurt you like that.”

“You wouldn’t be hurting me. You would be saving me. Because I know I can trust you to do what is right. I know that if you ever choose to use it, it will be because it’s the only way. You’re the only one I could trust with this. Please, Lancelot.”

Lancelot looked right into Merlin’s eyes. They held each other’s gaze until he finally sighed. He grabbed the vial and slipped it into his pocket. “Fine. I’ll hold onto it for now. But only because I know I’ll never have to use it. You may not trust yourself, but I do. So, until you trust yourself too, I’ll keep the vial.”

Relief left his limbs numb. “Thank you, Lancelot.”

“Now, come on. We better get going before Arthur comes looking for us. We’re supposed to leave—” Outside the castle bells chimed the mid-hour. “Now.”

“It’s not like he ever expects me to be on time.” Merlin grumbled as they left his office behind.

By the time they made it to the courtyard where the rest of the travel party had gathered, Arthur was pacing the steps. Merlin shot him a sheepish grin when they met eyes.

“Really, Lancelot. I had hoped you might be able to keep him on schedule for once.” Arthur said.

Lancelot shrugged and hurried over to Gwen to say his good-byes. She was remaining behind to help keep the castle running, not that she didn’t do that on a daily basis anyway. Merlin had headed straight for Arthur but was stopped by Clio.

“I should be going with you!” She protested yet again.

They’d had this argument at least a dozen times over the last two days alone. Clio was making great strides, but with the danger coming their way she wasn’t prepared for it. Clio knew nothing of battles and Merlin intended to keep it that way. She had suffered enough already.

“Someday, Clio, but today I need you here.”

“I can help you. I can help protect you and Arthur.” She pleaded.

“You will by staying here.” She gave him a confused look and he explained. “If someone is coming after Arthur, it’s likely they could come for Camelot too. We need you here to protect the people. You need to keep teaching the other magical students and make them feel safe. But, I promise if we need you, we’ll send for you.”

“Oh! Can you send Kily if you do?”

Arthur, apparently close enough to hear their conversation interrupted, “Who the hell is Kily?”

“Kilgharrah of course.” Clio said as if it was the most obvious thing that she might nickname a fearsome dragon something that made him sound like a kitten.

The first time she’d called him that to his face, Merlin had laughed for hours at the sputtering protests he had given.

“Sure, if we need you, Merlin will send a very large dragon right into the heart of Camelot to give you a ride.” Arthur said dryly. “Now, come on, don’t make me lift you onto your horse, Merlin.”

Merlin gave Clio a last pat on the head. “You’ll do just great. Just make sure not to let little Garin conjure anything outside of class.”

“Yep.”

“And be sure to check Tabitha’s pockets before she leaves, she likes to sneak potion ingredients home.”

“Got it.”

“And don’t forget to reinforce the protection charms every few days or—”

“For gods’ sake Merlin, she’s your apprentice for a reason. She knows what’s she’s doing. Leave the poor girl alone.” Arthur made good on his threat and lifted Merlin up placing him on his own horse.

“Oh that’s rich coming from you. Do you have any idea how many chores you’d leave me with on a daily basis?” Merlin shouted back.

“Well, do you know how much work I had to do as THE BLOODY PRINCE?”

From the stairs Merlin swore he heard Gwaine say, “That’s ten silver, Gwen. Didn’t even make it to the gate without bickering like a married couple.”

They put their little spat on hold as they headed through the gate and into the city. People were lining the streets cheering and wishing them safe travels. Merlin and Arthur gave their best smiles and waved to their people.

Arthur’s people, Merlin corrected himself.

Despite their intimate relationship, he needed to remember that Arthur was King and he was only an advisor. And he was happy with that arrangement. The fact that Arthur was willing to court him even publicly was beyond his wildest dreams. He didn’t need more. He’d never ask for more.

All he wanted was a future with Arthur in it.

Which was why he was on full alert as they traveled. He had his magic searching the area around them looking for any threats. Merlin also kept extra close to Arthur, their horses nearly touching as they trotted.

Hours later, Arthur finally said to him. “Merlin.”

“What?”

“If you wanted to be so close, we could have ridden the same horse.” He teased.

Merlin’s face turned a bit red, but he held his ground. “Just have a bad feeling, that’s all.”

Arthur glared at him.

“What?”

“Every time you say that we—”

With no warning, dozens of bandits poured out of the woods.

Chapter Text

Merlin seemed even more tense than usual. For all the time that he had known him, Merlin had always been tense when they traveled. Granted most of the time Arthur had thought it was because he was a fraidy-cat when it came to the woods. Now Arthur recognized that posture for what it truly was. Merlin was on high alert for any danger.

Arthur had taken the best precautions possible for the journey. He had sent men out ahead of them to scout the area and make sure it was secure. He had taken a minimum of support staff, but doubled the amount of knights he usually traveled with. And he knew that Merlin was using his magic to look out as well.

“Merlin.” Arthur tried to get his attention, but his court sorcerer couldn’t be shaken.

“Merlin.” He repeated louder.

“What?” Merlin said without looking at him.

The only way Arthur knew to gain his attention when he was like this was some light teasing. “If you wanted to be so close, we could have ridden the same horse.”

Merlin finally turned to him, his cheeks a pleasant apple red. But rather than the sassy retort he expected, Merlin gave him a sick look. “Just have a bad feeling, that’s all.”

Arthur glared at him. Hard.

“What?”

What? What! The clotpole didn’t know what!

“Every time you say that we—”

With no warning, dozens of bandits poured out of the woods.

Yep, that was what. Every time Merlin said he had a bad feeling, they were attacked. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. As surely as if the words were a magic spell that invited danger. And the idiot had the audacity to jinx them right off the bat.

Arthur drew his sword even as he counted the number of men pouring out of the forest. Forty, fifty at least. Not enough to be an army, especially by the way they were dress, but too many to be a random group of bandits. No this had all the markings of a planned attack.

At his order, his men leapt to engage, but before he could move himself Merlin was grabbing his arm. “Stay with me. Someone among them has powerful magic. They were shielding before, but I feel them.”

Only because Arthur knew Merlin could, he yelled. “Then keep up.”

Together, they dove into battle.

The forest turned to chaos. A chaos that Arthur knew too well. There appeared to be no clear leader of these men. No single target they could defeat to bring an end to the fight. Instead they were forced to pick off each man one by one.

Arthur kept Merlin at his back. Over the last year there has been more than a fair share of battles. It had given them time to find a new rhythm. He slashed at anyone that tried to come near him as Merlin hurled away anyone that tried to sneak behind Arthur.

This way, Arthur worried less knowing that Merlin was always within reach. Unlike so many battles before when he’d constantly be looking out for which tree he was hiding behind and fretting that if he was found he couldn’t get to him in time.

Merlin also worried less as he could use his magic openly to protect his king. Though one of the things Arthur had learned about Merlin’s magic was that it had never been meant for battles. He’d adapted his powers for defense, but his magic was never designed to harm. It just wasn’t in his nature. Which meant he knocked men out instead of killing them. Helpful at least until they got back up.

It had happened so fast. Arthur had been focusing on the two men in front of him. Long sword keeping the first at bay while a knife in his other hand slipped under the guard of the second. One of the men fallen between them suddenly woke and dove straight at Merlin. The man’s knife had sliced through Merlin’s shoulder before he could blink.

The sound of Merlin’s cry broke something in Arthur. He turned around in a flurry thrusting the sword straight through his chest. Merlin, on his knees stared wildly behind Arthur. That expression enough of a warning for Arthur to remove his weapon and twirl to defend. Two more were coming straight at them, and Merlin no longer had the use of his hands: one dangling useless, the other stemming the flow of blood.

Pure instinct took over. Arthur’s years of training and battle flowed through his limbs without thought. His whole world narrowed to protecting the man he loved. Dozens fell before him with no chance of survival. His mind so focused, he didn’t even realize the fight was over and it was his own men approaching.

Lancelot held up his hands, keeping just out of reach of Arthur’s sword. “Arthur, it’s over.”

That assurance was enough to have the tension draining out of him. He quickly turned to check on Merlin, to see just how badly he was hurt. Only the very man he’d been protecting was gone.

Cold terror spread through his veins.

“Merlin?” Frantically, he looked at the surrounding area. Among the bodies there was no sign of his royal colors or mop of dark hair. But that did nothing to assure him. “Merlin!” Then he caught sight of the drops of blood trailing further into the forest.

There was no sign of struggle. In fact, based on the imprint of what could only be Merlin’s ridiculously adorably small feet he had been running. Only there was no reason Arthur could think of as to why Merlin would run away from the battle while injured.

Or was there. “Stay with me. Someone among them has powerful magic.” Merlin had shouted at the start of this.

“That idiot!” Arthur started running before shouting orders to his men. “Fan out! There may be more nearby. And I want someone kept alive for questioning.”

He didn’t wait to see if they’d obeyed. All he could focus on was Merlin’s trail leading away from the clearing. He hadn’t gone far when he felt a shiver of Merlin’s magic. The only explanation for it to be hanging in the air would be if Merlin was using large amounts of it. A distant sound of what could only be described as explosions told him he was getting closer.

By the time he was close enough to make out what was happening, he realized his little foolish wizard was chasing the enemy sorcerer. They were both throwing spells like daggers trying to stop each other. At the moment, the enemy was hidden somewhere above behind a formation of rocks. Merlin was standing in the open shooting spell after spell to keep them on the defense.

Arthur would never admit it outside of their bedroom, but he found Merlin insanely hot when he unleashed his magic like that.

He considered sneaking around behind where the sorcerer was hidden. If he could take him by surprise, they could corner him between them. But before he could, the sorcerer deflected one of Merlin’s spells and it hit the corner of rock. The ground rumbled and the formation of rocks broke loose heading straight for Merlin.

“Merlin!” Arthur dove straight for him. Felt the familiar shape of Merlin safely in his arms before the world went dark.

The first thing that Arthur noted when he woke up was the very angry expression on his lover’s face. It was rare when Merlin was actually mad at him. Frustrated, plenty. Annoyed, often. Irritated, daily. But rarely mad. Oh, but the fury was as clear as day on his beautiful face. His nostrils were flared. His mouth set in a thin line. And behind his eyes Arthur could almost see his own magic flickering darkly at him.

“Are you…” those were the only calm words he got out of his mouth before Merlin exploded. “COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND!”

Arthur hadn’t realized Merlin could scream loud enough to make his ears ring. Or maybe that was the dull pain he could feel in the back of his head. Tentatively, he lifted a hand to feel the sore spot and hissed when all he felt was sticky blood.

“Don’t touch it! I’m trying to clean it.” Merlin protested.

He could see that indeed Merlin had a bowl of water and cloth to clean the wound. Arthur lowered his hand. “What happened?” Then he remembered the battle. The injury to Merlin. The rocks falling straight for him. “Gods, are you hurt?”

“Me? You are so thick headed!”

Okay, not hurt. It appeared his shoulder had been treated already. How long had he been unconscious?

 Still, Merlin continued to rant. “…and lucky for you because if you weren’t I’d be cleaning up pieces of your brain instead of your blood.” Behind the bitter anger, Arthur heard something vulnerable.

He looked at Merlin’s face closer, truly looked and saw the anger was a brittle mask for something else. So rather than pressing for answers or protesting or teasing or half the things he would usually do. He reached up to hold Merlin’s cheek in his hand. “I’m sorry.”

That broke whatever façade Merlin had been holding onto. He set the bowl aside to throw himself at Arthur. “You clotpole. You pushed me out of the way and ended up half crushed under the rocks.”

Arthur had a strong enough imagination to imagine what that must have been like.

Tears were gathering in his eyes. “You wouldn’t wake up.”

The dream. Gods, the vision Merlin had had. “I’m alright, Merlin.”

The tears dripped free. “I could feel your heartbeat, so I knew it wasn’t the same, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

“I never meant to cause you grief, Merlin. But I’d seen you hurt once already and when the rocks started to fall all I knew was that I couldn’t see it again.”

“I could have shielded myself if some idiot hadn’t knocked the breath out of me all of a sudden.” He lectured.

Okay, so maybe now that he was no longer in the moment, Arthur realized it really had been a bone-headed move. “Well, how about a compromise? You promise never to run off in the middle of a battle chasing after some unknown enemy alone, and I promise not to jump into your magic fights.”

He knew Merlin was at least not too mad at him when he laughed. “Deal. But I’m holding you to that Arthur.”

Grabbing the bowl and cloth again, Merlin returned to treating his wound.

“So, eh…can I ask what I missed now?” He could guess some of it as he overlooked the field they were in. The knights were cleaning up after the battle, treating the wounded, and seemed to have imprisoned the few survivors. While the sun was a touch higher, it could have only been an hour that he was unconscious. “And maybe you can explain your reasoning for chasing after a sorcerer alone.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “Maybe it was a bit stupid to chase after him, but we’re two sides of the same coin so hi pot I’m kettle. Let’s just move on. I knew something was wrong the moment the attack began. I should have sensed a group that large nearby, but I had no warning. Which meant someone among them had magic and no sorcerers just hang around with large groups of hired soldiers for no reason.”

So Merlin had drawn the same conclusion he had that this was some sort of planned attack.

“While we were fighting, I expected the sorcerer to use their magic against us. I mean, why use only half your cards if you have a full hand? But I sensed no magic being used. They must have just been watching. It wasn’t until I’d paused to try to stem the wound on my shoulder that I caught sight of them. The battle was obviously turning in our favor, not that I expected any less, but they must have realized that too and took off. The soldiers are only hired help, but something tells me that sorcerer knows exactly who was behind this and why. So I chased after him figuring my magic could take them out. Might have too if—”

“I didn’t do the whole dumb macho hero thing, yes, yes, you’ve said that already. You’re not the damsel that needs rescuing. That’s usually me in this relationship.” Arthur finished.

Merlin beamed at him. “So glad we see eye to eye on this then.”

“Anyway, what happened then?”

“Then poor Merlin freaked out about you being injured, the sorcerer escaped, Merlin fretted over you for the last hour, and here we are.” Lancelot finished interrupting the intimate scene.

“Right then. How bad is it?” Arthur asked Merlin.

Merlin was still glaring at Lancelot for his flippant comment, but looked back at Arthur’s head. “Healed now, though it will still be tender. I’m just cleaning up blood is all so then I don’t have to polish it off your crown when you wear it for our arrival.”

So he was fussing. Not that Arthur could blame him what with the ominous overhanging threat of his death and a battle injury. If the knights weren’t all watching them like hawks (and didn’t have a bet going for how many times they would end up kissing in public during the trip, yeah Gwaine, Arthur was well aware of the current betting pool and knew Merlin was in on it too) Arthur would also be fussing over his lover.

Instead, he stood and turned his attention to the prisoners. “Have they been questioned?”

“Thoroughly, though you’re of course free to try yourself. The group was rounded up and hired from some of the low-level digs in the outlying lands. Each one was hired by different people, no names, just lots of coin.”

“Lots of coin.” Arthur approached them. “How much were you paid?”

None of the prisoners would look at him.

“No one wants to answer, huh?” Arthur gestured for Merlin to join him at his side. “Hey eh, question for you my court sorcerer?”

“Yes, my king?” Merlin answered pleasantly.

“That eh, lightning spell you’ve been working on. Any chance you can aim it at a specific target?”

The small group of men paled at the question.

“I’m afraid not, sire. I could try, but it’s a bit unpredictable.” Playing along, Merlin added on. “Never know exactly where it will hit. If I tried to strike one of the prisoners for example, could take out any one of them. I’d have no control.”

If it was possible, they all turned a bit green at that.

“Well.” Arthur shrugged. “That would probably work well enough for our purposes. Who ever is left alive can answer my question then.”

“Fifty silver!” One of them shouted. It was the shortest man there. “We were given fifty silver for taking the job and offered twice that if we succeed.”

That was no trifling sum. It would take a good deal of wealth to hire that many men at that price.

“Succeeded in what?”

The man wasn’t quick enough to answer and Arthur patience was running thin. “Succeed in what? What were your orders?”

“Just to get the sorcerer away from the knights.”

Arthur’s whole body went rigid. Merlin. Their goal had been to separate them from Merlin. Were they trying to take him out? Perhaps he had been their target? Or was it himself they’d been after, but they knew the only way to get to him was to separate him from Merlin? No answer was good. And no answer would come from questioning these men more.

“Lancelot, get them out of my sight. If we ever see you lot again you can be sure you’ll be joining your friends swiftly.” Arthur ordered. Then turned to the rest of his men. “Everyone let’s go. We’ll have to speed up to make our destination in time.”

They responded to his command, reloading the horses.

Arthur pulled Merlin to him. “You’ll be riding with me after all. I don’t like this. Any of this.”

“Me either.” Merlin discreetly threated his arm under the hem of Arthur’s shirt, so they were touching skin to skin.

For a while they stood there like that. Just holding each other for a moment. Then Arthur found Lamrei and pulled himself up into the saddle before reaching out for Merlin. “Now, this time, don’t say you have a bad feeling.” Arthur warned.

“Oh, we’re way past bad feelings. The storm is here, Arthur.” Merlin warned. “But we have each other. Nothing can beat us so long as we have each other’s backs.”

“Except maybe our own stupidity.” Arthur mused.

Merlin giggled. “Yeah, except maybe that.”

They turned their sighs towards Essetir and headed further into the forest.

Chapter Text

They weren’t far outside Essetir when the group came to a stop. It was the last chance to water the horses before they crossed the border. Since they had continued their journey, there had been no other attacks or signs of the sorcerer. Not even the tiniest thread of magic to follow.

For now, another attack was Merlin’s last problem. His current problem was a fussy king.

“I don’t need to wear a crown to enter Essetir.” Arthur complained, pulling away from where Merlin was trying to fix his hair so he could place said crown.

“It’s tradition.” Merlin reminded him. “In fact, it’s basic kingly etiquette. You’ve hosted enough royalty to know you need to enter with your crown.”

“I hate wearing that thing.” He mumbled only loud enough for Merlin to hear. It was a sentiment that was only safe enough to allow Merlin to know. “It’s almost as much of a pain in the ass as you are.”

Merlin didn’t rise to his attempt at changing the subject with their usual banter.

More than anyone, he understood Arthur’s aversion to it. It was a symbol of the weight he carried, of the responsibility because of his father he too often felt unworthy of. Merlin had stood by his side as he tried to balance the weight. Maybe now, it was time he started to see it a different way.

“Do you know what I see when you wear this crown?”

“How big my head is?” He guessed.

Merlin smiled at him lovingly. “I see the man you were always destined to become. I see your strength and bravery, your compassion and loyalty to your people. I see my King. The only King I would ever serve.”

A dark blush spread across Arthur’s cheeks. He melted into Merlin’s touch as he settled the band over his head. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

“That you’ll stop your moaning and just look pretty for me.”

Apparently, Lancelot had been close enough to hear that comment and couldn’t stop himself from burst into laughter. Now Arthur’s blush was spreading to his ears. “Merlin!”

Merlin shrugged, and figured he was already in enough trouble so dared to lean forward and kiss his forehead before all the knights.

There were whoops and whistles from behind them.

Arthur stormed off to yell at his knights to get a move on so they could resume their journey once again. That left Merlin alone by the small stream where the horses were taking their fill.

As a child this had always been the line that separated Camelot from Essetir. The few times they’d passed close enough while rummaging through the forest for mushrooms or herbs, his mother would point to it and tell him stories of the great kingdom of Camelot that lay beyond.

The place had become a fairytale in his head. Even with the ban against magic, their laws had been far kinder to the people than Merlin could even imagine. Then when he had needed to escape it had become his refuge. While he wouldn’t have said he felt safe, it had always felt welcoming.

On the other side of the stream was the land that had never accepted him. It was the place where he had been trapped by Rolan’s cruelty. It was all that was dark and evil about his past.

The past year he had let go of so much of the pain and fear with Arthur’s help and support. He had been moving forward. He’d been excited about going back without the weight of it on his heart. Yet as he looked at the forest beyond, memories of his abuse came rushing back. A chill spread through his body and he began to shiver.

Then as suddenly as the feeling had come, Arthur was there. Any embarrassment at the earlier display of affection gone, knowing Merlin needed his touch. Arthur’s strong arms curled around him and pulled him back into a powerful chest. Merlin relaxed against his warmth.

“If you’re not ready, we don’t have to go.” Arthur assured him.

This was a highly diplomatic event. An invitation Arthur had already accepted. To turn back now would have political ramifications that would last years. Yet, Arthur offered it as if it was the easiest decision to make. Because over everything, he would choose Merlin.

That thought alone chased the chill and memories away.

“I’m ready. I want to make new memories there, with you. Just…can you stay close?”

“Always. I’m never letting you out of my sight.” He squeezed tight one more time before pulling Merlin back towards Llamrei.

It was an hour later when the Castle of Essetir came into view. Even from afar they could see the banners hung in celebration. The sounds of the festivities echoed amongst the buildings, music and laughter welcoming their arrival. Even the sweet scent of pastries and freshly baked goods trickled out of the city square to surround them.

All was happy and bright in a way Merlin had never seen outside of Camelot.

Arthur pulled Llamrei to a slow trot so they could take in the sight.

The castle was not as grand as Camelot’s, but there was just as much history to it. The ancient stonework was decorated with elaborate carvings of mythical creatures.

Their simple pause was enough for people to take notice of the new king that had entered. Where the sight of Camelot colors might once have sent all the citizens of Essetir running in terror, there were cheers.

“It’s King Arthur!”

“Camelot Knights!”

“Albion’s King is here!”

“Is that the great sorcerer Merlin?”

“All hail the Great King Arthur!”

Merlin glanced back at Arthur, grateful to be close enough to catch the look of pure pride on his face. If Arthur had been doubting himself before, he sure wasn’t at the moment.

Out of the crowd, a single rider approached them. It had been nearly a year, but Merlin recognized the man as one of Lot’s sons, Prince Gareth. He looked a bit older, and much less serious than he had at the tournament. Rather than armor he was dressed in his finest clothes and a thin crown circled his head.

“It is so wonderful you have finally arrived!” He signaled for the group to follow him towards the castle, taking up a position beside Arthur at the front. “I must admit, we worried something might have happened when we heard news of your delay. I hope all is well?” The prince said.

“Yes.” If the prince had been seeking explanation, Arthur gave none. “Again, I will have to apologize to your father in person for the delay, but it could not be avoided.”

It could have, but Merlin knew better than to publicly make such a quip.

“It is no trouble. You haven’t missed the main festivities yet. There will be a feast tonight that you are welcome to join, or we can arrange for food to be brought to your quarters if you require rest after your journey.” Gareth offered.

“We will be happy to attend. Luckily, the journey between Camelot and Essetir is not so great. My men and I are rested enough, and we would be honored to dine with you and your father.”

“Then let it be so.” Gareth beamed. “We truly are so glad to have your presence here. My father did not think such a meager celebration would be enough to tempt you from Camelot.”

This time Merlin was the one to speak up. “I would hardly call a centennial celebration meager for any country. Besides, Essetir is one of our strongest allies now, little could keep us away. Especially with tell of a small tournament. Arthur can hardly go a month without showing off his skills in the ring.”

At that both Gareth and Arthur laughed. Although there was a slight jab into Merlin’s side for that comment out of everyone else’s sight.

“Can I say, after the way things were left last year, I am happy to see things are going well for the both of you.” Gareth commented.

“That is kind of you.” Arthur said.

They had finally reached the castle’s courtyard. Many of the knights stopped to stare at the arriving group. There were colors from a few of Essetir’s surrounding allies. More than likely, with their delay, they had been the last party to arrive. So all attention was on them.

Before they could even dismount, King Lot was descending the stairs and walking right towards them. “King Arthur, Lord Merlin. Welcome to my humble kingdom. It is so wonderful to see you once again and under better circumstances.”

“King Lot, it is good to see you as well.” Arthur greeted.

The man crowded close to Llamrei, patting the horse’s neck as he spoke. “I hope your journey wasn’t too difficult.”

“Nothing we couldn’t handle.”

At Arthur’s comment, King Lot’s eyes narrowed. He seemed to take a moment to take in the other knights. Merlin had healed all the injured, but some still looked battle weary. “Were you attacked? Was the reason for your delay? Oh dear, had I but known I would have sent men to help escort you and treat your injured.”

They had agreed on their journey that they would not inform Lot of the sorcerer or Merlin’s dream. There was no reason to scare him with their own problems during the celebration. All had happened on Camelot’s soil, so there was no reason to think there would be danger in the two days they were here.

Still, with the look of distress on Lot’s face, they had to tell him something. “Just a group of common thieves. Nothing my men and I could not handle. And we have Lord Merlin to help with the wounded. There was no need to send for assistance. I did not wish the incident to become gossip and ruin the celebration.”

That explanation seemed to be enough for Lot to understand Arthur’s meaning. “Of course. Consider my lips sealed. Although do let me offer to have my servants help you all to your accommodations and bring you nourishment before the festivities.”

“That is very kind of you and much appreciated.”

 Merlin added. “Yes, thank you King Lot. It is very thoughtful of you.”

“It is the least I can do, considering all I owe to you both after Rolan—”

The mention of his name along with the place brought back the shivers to Merlin’s spine. He forced his face to stay neutral, to keep smiling, but his whole body tensed. Arthur must have felt it as he pulled Merlin in closer against him on the horse.

“Let us put the past behind us.” Arthur’s voice maintained his diplomacy, but there was threat within it. A warning not to say the name again.

“Yes. Of course. Apologies.” King Lot finally took a step back from them and signaled for the servants to begin to unload.

While everyone else was distracted, Arthur whispered into Merlin’s ear. “No matter what, I won’t let anything harm you. You know that, right?”

Turning, Merlin cupped the side of Arthur’s face in his hand. He didn’t kiss him, no matter how much he wanted to. But the smile he gave Arthur was enough to say that he knew that without a doubt.

Arthur helped Merlin to dismount, holding under his shoulders as he slipped onto Essetir’s soil for the first time in years. He let out a deep breath only to choke on it in the next moment.

It all happened at once. In the moment each part impossible to distinguish from the other. Two servants had been trying to lift a trunk too heavy for them off a cart. The trunk fell, causing one of the servants to jump back from being crushed. He had knocked into the back of one of the knights holding onto the reigns of his horse. The spooked horse reared up, startling all those around it. Llamrei bucked just as Arthur had been trying to dismount which sent him flying to the ground.

Instinctually, Merlin used his magic to soften Arthur’s fall and calm the horses. But his magic had not been enough to keep Arthur’s crown on his head. As Arthur hit the ground, it fell off, rolling across the courtyard until it settled upside down over a patch of cracked pavement.

Merlin’s world tunneled to that single image in front of him.

It was the exact same as his dream.

The catalyst of Arthur’s death.

The beginning of his end.

Merlin didn’t hear anything around him. Not the apologies of the servant. Not King Lot’s concern. Not Arthur’s assurances that he wasn’t hurt. All he heard was the screaming of his own soul that his greatest nightmare had begun.

Even Arthur’s hands suddenly touching his shoulders didn’t pull him back. “Merlin. Merlin? Merlin.” Arthur’s voice grew more concerned each time he said it, his grip tighter.

He had to say something. He had to act. There was danger around them and he had to protect Arthur.

All at once, Merlin was grabbing Arthur to his side in a death grip. Defensive magic poured off him in waves. His eyes were darting around looking for any sign of a threat. There was no one but their own knights and the same guests as before.

No one had yet noticed his feral behavior. Lot had turned to lecture his staff. The others looking at the mess rather than them. Only Arthur realized the unsteady state his lover was in.

“Merlin, what’s wrong?”

He forced the words out quietly. “Your crown.”

Arthur turned and spotted it. He laughed once, “Really, Merlin, no reason to get so fussy about…” then he must have remembered Merlin’s description of his dream. “Shit.”

Sensing the sudden shift between King and sorcerer, Lancelot, Elyan, and Percival took a few steps closer. They said nothing awaiting orders.

Arthur gave none as he was waiting on Merlin. Merlin who was desperately seeking out any whisps of magic. He hadn’t felt the sorcerer the first time until the attack had begun. Was that what would happen now? But one moment passed into two, two into three, and on and on. Nothing happened.

Merlin traded his tension for confusion. There had to be a reason this image had been a part of his vision, but there was no threat here. At least none that wanted to make itself known.

“Is everything alright?” Lot suddenly appeared. He had finished speaking to his servants. He looked at the group, focusing in on Arthur then Merlin.

“Everything is fine.” Arthur curled his arm around Merlin’s waist. “The horses merely spooked him.”

“Yes, I understand. I am so sorry that happened. Let me lead you to your chambers myself.” King Lot offered.

“Thank you.” Arthur gestured for Lancelot to grab his crown and for the other two to flank them as they followed Lot.

Lot didn’t seem bothered by the entourage. Arthur engaged in small talk as they walked, but Merlin never stopped looking around them. Suddenly, in the wake of what he’d seen every corridor appeared dangerous. Before he knew it, they had arrived to their room.

Servants filed in dropping off their belongs and Lot bid them farewell until the feast. Percival agreed to stand guard outside the door while Elyan got their room set up. Lancelot also wanted to stay, but Arthur assured him that all was well for now.

Merlin wanted to snap that it was far from well. His whole mind still spiraling. Only he couldn’t get his mouth to form words.

When the door closed, and they were finally alone, Arthur said nothing simply wrapped Merlin into the tightest hug he could manage. “I’m here, Merlin. I’m safe right here in your arms. So please, please come back to me from wherever your mind has taken you. Feel me, Merlin. I have you.”

He broke.

All his fears of losing Arthur, of not being strong enough to protect him, of being forced to live the rest of his life without his love swamped over him. He would have drowned, but Arthur held him through it.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Merlin choked. “I just can’t lose you. I can’t. I can’t.”

And Arthur just kept holding him. “You won’t. I swear you won’t. Because even if I die, I will always be a part of you and no magic could ever take that away.”

The vow was like a balm to his burning soul.

He must have realized his words were reaching him because he continued. “I cannot imagine the pain you’ve suffered all these years. So much weight was put on you to keep me safe. And gods know how much trouble I get myself in. You had no one but yourself to rely on to keep me safe, but not anymore. We are in this together Merlin. Always together.”

Breathing in his scent one more time, Merlin allowed himself to step back enough to look into Arthur’s face. “You swear.”

“I swear.”

Desperate, Merlin surged up to take Arthur’s lips in his own. He kissed him as if that alone could keep him tied to the earth. “I’m never letting you go.” Merlin vowed between kisses. “You are mine Arthur Pendragon.” He pushed his king against the nearest surface, his hands taking their natural place against his chest. “Say it.”

“I am yours.” Arthur replied breathless.

It wasn’t enough.

Merlin firmly nipped at his bottom lip, coaxing his mouth to open to him. His whole body slotted against him. “Say that you won’t die. Promise me that you won’t die.”

Arthur surged up to meet the sway of Merlin’s body. “I won’t die.”

His clothes were in the way. Merlin needed to feel his skin, his heat and he needed it now. “Show me you love me.” This was not an order, but a frantic request.

“Yes.” And as all his vows, Arthur kept it.

Gareth knocked on the door to his father’s council room.

“Enter.”

He closed the door firmly behind him. His father sat at the head of his table. Lot smiled at him. “I trust you have good news for me.”

“All is in order.” Gareth reported.

“Good, I feared their delay might ruin the whole plan.”

“Luckily you set me to the task. I have made all arrangements as you requested. Tonight, it will begin.” Gareth promised. “And how did this morning go?”

Lot beamed at him. “I have no idea what kind of vision that sorcerer sent the boy wizard, but the look of fear on his face put Rolan’s attempts to shame.” It had been so hard to act his own part and not watch the young hero desperately try not to fall apart. “I can’t wait to see how he reacts to our plan.”

“It will be most thrilling. Imagine, Albion’s greatest King and sorcerer torn apart.”

“Just remember,” Lot warned, “not a hint of this to anyone until it is time.”

“Of course, father.”

Lot rose and patted his shoulder. “I am so proud of you son. Soon, we shall take our rightful place as the true leaders of Albion. Just two more days, and it will all be over.”

Two more days and both the Pendragon and sorcerer would be dead.

Chapter Text

Decisions needed to be made. Arthur sat up against the headboard of the bed. Merlin was passed out next to him. After the journey, the drain on his magic, the emotional strain, and a passionate round of love making, he had collapsed into a restful sleep. Slowly, Arthur carded his fingers through his soft curls.

He had known after the vision that his time was running short. But seeing the way Merlin reacted to only a sliver of it coming true, he was suddenly realizing how short it could be.

Arthur had been a warrior long before he became a king. In battle he had known death could take him at any time. It became so common he’d had to stop thinking about it just to keep his own sanity. If he stopped too long to think about what he might leave behind, he wouldn’t have had the strength to keep fighting.

Now. Now, he had even more to lose in the wake of his death. He had a kingdom that needed a strong and just ruler. He had friends who relied on him. He had Merlin, the other half of his heart. He didn’t want to leave it all behind. He would do whatever it took to keep his promise with Merlin.

But he was no fool either. If destiny called for his death, then he could only hope to face it with no regrets. And if he were to die tomorrow, there was one regret he would have.

Gently, pulling himself from beside Merlin. He dressed before walking over to his trunk. Merlin had laughed when Arthur said he would pack it himself. He’d been too busy laughing to notice the small pouch Arthur had tucked inside. Taking one more look to ensure that Merlin was still asleep, he took it out and poured the content into his hand.

The small silver ring glimmered in the light. It had been his mother’s engagement ring. He’d been courting Merlin for barely a month before he’d requested the blacksmith to have it resized. After it was finished, he’d simply wanted to give Merlin time to adjust to their relationship and his new position. Then he’d spent so much time trying to decide the perfect moment to ask.

There would be no perfect moment. Only the moment he made.

Quickly, Arthur walked over to the door and was not surprised to see Percival, Elyan and Lancelot all standing guard. For a fleeting second, he prayed none of them had heard what had happened a few minutes ago, but figured he wasn’t so lucky.

“Arthur?” Lancelot moved from where he was resting against the wall. “Everything alright?”

Arthur closed the door so as not to wake Merlin before answering. “No.” He didn’t want to lie to them. “I fear there is more danger here than we thought.”

“We can be ready to return to Camelot within the hour.” Percival assured him.

“That would do little good.” Destiny would come for them no matter where they went. “For now we stay the course and stay alert. When the danger comes, I know I can trust you all to be beside us.”

“Of course.”

“I have a favor to ask.” Arthur looked at his knights. “Would one of you be willing to escort Lady Hunith here?”

When they had first arranged for this trip, they had planned to stop by her farm for a while at the end of the celebration. That would be too far away now. It was a calculated risk, one Arthur knew Hunith would happily make for the reward. Besides, with an unknown sorcerer somewhere out there, Arthur didn’t like thinking of Hunith unprotected. She would be safer here with them.

“I will.” Elyan offered.

“But I need you to leave now, and to travel through the night. She needs to be here tomorrow.” Arthur added.

The information didn’t even make Elyan flinch. “Not a problem. I can have her here before sunset tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Elyan. You have no idea what this will mean to me.” Arthur said in relief.

Lancelot quirked an eyebrow at him. “Why do you need her here so quickly, if I might ask?”

There was no harm in telling his knights. He trusted them to keep the surprise no matter how hard Merlin batted his lashes. “Because tomorrow after the tournament I’m going to ask Merlin to marry me. And if he says yes, then we will complete our vows before the night is over and Merlin will be just as much your King as I am.”

All three of them suppressed their hollers, but none could contain their smiles.

“Like he’s going to say no.” Percival joked.

“It just doesn’t feel right to do so without his mother.” Arthur admitted.

“Awe!” Lancelot said in a tone that should never come out of one of his fearsome knights.

Arthur blushed scarlet, but still attempted to look intimidating. “Either of you so much as hint to Merlin before I have the chance, you’ll be permanently reassigned to mucking the stables for all of Camelot.” With that, he returned to the room shutting the door in their giggling faces.

With a sigh, he turned back to look at Merlin. The setting sun cast a soft glow over his sleeping face. He was cuddled into the pillows still spread out on his stomach the way Arthur had left him. It was a crime to have to wake him, but there wasn’t much time now before the feast.

Arthur slid over the top of the covers, draping himself across Merlin’s sleep warmed body. “Merlin.” He murmured into his ear before kissing it. “Merlin, love.”

He turned into Arthur’s touch seeking his voice. Arthur rewarded him with a kiss, coaxing his lips to open to him. Merlin gave a pleased hum as his eyes fluttered open. When they eventually parted for air, Merlin squinted at the window. “Wait? Did I fall asleep?”

“Mhm.” Arthur pulled Merlin up, so they were both sitting. “I tired you out.”

Merlin grinned. “If I didn’t know how much of a blushing maiden you can be, I’d be worried you’d drag about that for the next week.”

“Lucky for you then. Come on now. Time to get dressed.”

Before Arthur could slip out of the bed, Merlin caught his arm. “Tonight just…stay close to me. Promise me you won’t leave my sight for a minute.”

“As you command my love.” Arthur promised.

It was worth it for the smile Merlin shot him. Oh yes, Arthur could spend the rest of his life like this: waking Merlin up from their bed, kissing him breathless, watching the way his eyes lit up with his smile. And tomorrow, if Merlin said yes, tomorrow he would be calling him his husband.

Merlin narrowed his eyes. “Alright, what are you thinking about?”

“What?” Arthur startled from where he’d been staring.

“I know that look. You’re thinking something goopy again. Don’t think you can hide anything from me.”

Arthur smiled back. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Rolling his eyes (because even Merlin wasn’t enough of an idiot to believe that) Merlin turned back to their trunks to pull out their clothes for the evening. He froze halfway through. “Wait? This isn’t what I packed.”

“I had the seamstress prepare new clothes for this evening. I thought it would be a nice surprise.” Arthur explained.

As Merlin examine the deep red outfit, he frowned. “Please tell me there’s no feathers.”

“No feathers.”

Okay, so there hadn’t been any feathers, but there had been a ridiculous hat. It wasn’t Arthur’s fault that was part of the royal wardrobe.

Merlin grumbled the entire way to the feast hall. Finally, Arthur calmed him with a peck on the cheek. “Alright, I swear next time I’ll find something much more agreeable for you to wear on your head.”

“Oh yeah,” figuring it was a part of their usual banter, Merlin glared at him. “Don’t tell me. Ribbons? Flowers? Branches?”

Since the day he walked in to find Merlin making his own flower crown, Arthur had envisioned a silver band adorned with diamonds and amethyst. Purple really brought out the blue in his eyes and it accented nicely against his raven hair.

“Arthur,” Merlin whined. “I don’t like when you get all quiet and thoughtful. You thinking is never a good idea.”

“Haha.” Arthur barely resisted shoving him into the room.

For once Arthur was thankful to be a guest rather than a host to the banquet. When they entered there was no blaring announcement and the chatter never stopped. The food had not yet been served so all the guests were milling about in the next room. Arthur recognized many of the nobles and lords from Essetir that he had met during various diplomatic events.

With Merlin at his side, they began to circle the room speaking to the other guests. Merlin was much quieter than normal, his gaze constantly shifting through the crowd. Arthur did his best to assure him that everything was alright by staying attached to him. Their arms were linked together wherever they walked.

“Well, it is good to see that a horse fall cannot keep you down,” Suddenly Lot said from behind them.

Arthur and Merlin turned to him with pleasant smiles.

“Oh yes, Merlin has told me many times that my head is too thick to take much injury.” Arthur replied.

At Lot’s side was a man that looked to be closer to Leon’s age, though he looked like a younger copy of Lot. Arthur guessed this one of the other sons he had yet to meet. He and his father laughed at his small joke, perhaps a bit too uproariously.

“A humble king, I must say Arthur Pendragon you live up to your reputation.” The young man said.

King Lot quickly jumped into introductions. “This is my eldest son, Prince Walten, my heir.”

“It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Arthur shook the prince’s hand.

“I assure you; the pleasure is all mine. I was greatly disappointed to have missed the tournament in Camelot last year, but with my father away I am afraid I was needed here to keep things running. I’m sure you know how it is.”

“Indeed I do.” Arthur said cordially. “And may I introduce my partner in all matters, Sir Merlin.”

Merlin also took the prince’s hand in greeting.

“Sir Merlin,” the prince said in amusement. “So, are the stories I’ve heard correct that you in fact hail from our land and are yourself an Essetir citizen?”

“The stories you heard are correct. I was born in a small village close to the border. However, I have never considered myself a citizen of Essetir. My heart and my destiny have always laid with Camelot.”

Arthur couldn’t help but melt a little at his comment. It was all so very noble and Merliny.

“Either way,” King Lot interrupted, “we are so glad to have you both here to celebrate our nation’s birth. Now Walten, I believe that it is time to lead our guests into the dinning room. Perhaps you can escort his highness and his lordship to their seats.”

“Of course, father.”

King Lot left them to call the rest of the milling guests to enter. Prince Walten showed them to their seats at the left hand of King Lot himself, a place for the highest honored guests. Only as Merlin moved to take up the seat next to Arthur, Prince Walten halted him. “Do forgive me Lord Merlin, my father must not have mentioned it. It might be terribly forward of us, but we had hoped just for tonight you would be willing to sit with our own head of sorcery for the kingdom. He had been eager to meet you and seek your advice.”

“Uh, I…” Arthur knew that Merlin would generally be happy to speak with another sorcerer. He was always so keen to help his fellow magicians now that he had the position and knowledge. But his eyes were so desperate as he looked up at Arthur. They had promised to stay close.

“Perhaps, I could be moved to sit with Merlin and your sorcerer as well?” Arthur offered as a compromise. He knew it could be seen as a slight to deny the seat next to their host, but he’d rather slight a king than break a promise to Merlin.

“Oh, well…” Now it was Prince Walten who was fumbling.

“No, Arthur.” Merlin suddenly said. He seemed to have collected himself. The fear shaken from his eyes and determination set in his features. “It will be alright. You and Lot have much to discuss. I would be delighted to speak to your sorcerer.”

“Wonderful!” Prince Walten began to lead him further down the table to where the sorcerer sat.

From his seat Arthur watched Merlin greet the young man and launch into some animated conversation. At least he appeared to be more relaxed than he had been earlier. He was back to being the selfless brave man that Arthur knew him to be.

“That is a fine man you have at your side, King Arthur.” Lot’s voice came from beside him. With the feast commencing, Lot had finally taken his seat next to Arthur. His two sons that Arthur had already met sat to his right.

“Yes, he is.” Arthur said in reply. He reluctantly turned his focus away from his beautiful lover and back to the business at hand.

Dinner was served as King Lot spoke. “It pains me to think the experiences he suffered from the very kingdom he called home. It is a king’s duty to protect all their citizens. Yet, when Cendred held the throne, all he cared about was his own greed for wealth and power and he was not the only one in recent history.” He smiled at Arthur, “But you, you and your sorcerer have changed that. You have shown the world what a true king can be. I only wish I will become such a king one day.”

Arthur never knew how to take such compliments. “You flatter me, but I believe do not give yourself enough credit. You are a fine king. I have enjoyed working with you this past year, and even in the day I have been here I can see the changes you have made in Essetir.” Picking up his fork, he took a few bites of the roast.

“Yes, though we are a small nation, there is much potential among her people. It is simply understanding how to utilize her citizens to their fullest capacity. Each person has their uses, every citizen a part of the whole that makes Essetir.”

It was a true enough statement. Even Arthur had spoken at peace meetings and royal events about the importance of appreciating the skills of every citizen, whether they be of noble blood or a simple farmer. Yet, something about his statement settled strangely against his skin.

Arthur meant to ask him to further explain what he’d said, but as he attempted to draw in a breath to speak, he choked. It felt like there was something stuck in his throat. He coughed trying to clear it, only for the next breath to feel even more shallow.

“Arthur? Are you quite alright?”

“Can’t—” The word was barely audible as it slipped past his lips.

He grabbed his throat as if there was a hand he could pull away, but there was nothing there. No breath. No air. His vision even began to blur around him.

Now there were voices shouting at him. Distant voices he couldn’t make out. He couldn’t think of anything but his need to breathe. He needed to breathe. Needed to breathe.

“No Arthur!” Only Merlin’s voice broke through. His voice so close it was as if it came from his own head.

But even as he tried to reach out to that voice, to cling to it, the world blacked out around him.

Chapter Text

Merlin knew that he was acting like a pathetic needy child. He was a bit surprised Arthur was so willing to humor him and not call him out on it like he usually would. But no matter how much he knew he was being ridiculous he couldn’t shake the anxiety surrounding him. It was like since the vision there was a dark cloud of aura suffocating him.

So, when the prince had suggested that he sit anywhere but at Arthur’s side his immediate response had been a desperate no that he barely swallowed before it escaped. The last thing he needed to do was embarrass Arthur on their first outing to a noble court. Merlin was his court sorcerer, and it was time he took the responsibility. This was his job, and it wasn’t like sitting a few chairs down the table would really make much of a difference.

With a voice more assured than he felt he had agreed and found himself seated next to a sweet young sorcerer named Byron. The sorcerer was only a few years younger than Merlin and obviously extremely new to the position. He had been given the job as there were few sorcerers willing to work for the kingdom of Essetir.

What the previous ruler Cenred had done to sorcerers was not something easily forgotten. Even Merlin at one point had feared his cruelty. Enslavement was worse than death to many, so it came as little surprise to learn not many sorcerers were giving the new ruler a chance.

“I grew up here though, on a village in the north end, so I know what Cenred did. It’s just I hoped that by taking the position I could show our people that things are different now. I wanted to make them feel safe, the way you have for Camelot. You have no idea how much I look up to you, Sir Merlin.” Byron gushed.

Merlin couldn’t help flush a little under the admiration. He had gone so long without taking credit for his actions that it was still strange to accept praise.

“That’s very noble of you Byron.”

“But it’s not enough. I should have known it was a foolish wish to be like you. I lack the power or skill to actually make this a safe place for magic users.” He sounded almost like a puppy who had been kicked.

“Perhaps we could discuss your plans for what to do with your new position. I could give you some—”

“Arthur? Are you quite alright?” Merlin froze completely when he heard those words from King Lot followed by a desperate wheezing.

He turned to see his worse horrors come to life. Arthur was holding his throat. His face red as he failed to draw in breathes. Then he fell forward into his plate. “No Arthur!”

Merlin pushed past everyone in his way, throwing out his magic wildly in his rush to get to Arthur. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen.

When he reached Arthur his physician’s training kicked in. He pulled him off the table and laid him flat on the floor insuring that his head was tilted back so he could get the most possible air. He wasn’t breathing. No food appeared to be stuck in his throat, so it had to be something else.

Someone was shouting for a physician, for guards, for answers, but Merlin had to tune them out. He wrapped his hands around Arthur’s face letting his magic flow through him to seek out the reason for his collapse. As his magic searched, he couldn’t keep his thoughts from spiraling.

He had no idea that he was crying before the whole party as he begged Arthur to stay with him. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t be too late. He hadn’t even seen any of the other items from the vision.

Then, like a man mad he began to laugh hysterically.

“Merlin?” It was Lancelot at his side.

“Poison. He’s only been poisoned.” Merlin laughed because it was the only thing he could do with the extra adrenaline flowing through him at the moment. To anyone else it might have sounded cruel to speak of his king being poisoned. But poison Merlin could heal.

Already, his magic was curling around it and purifying Arthur’s body. The affect was instantaneous. Arthur’s blue lips lightened as he gulped in breath after breath. His body erupting with life once again.

“Thank the gods.” Merlin wasted no time pressing his lips against Arthur’s.

Arthur was obviously disoriented, but he gave no protest to the kiss. His hands fisted into Merlin’s tunic. “What…what happened?”

“You were poisoned. Just lay back for a moment and try to take deep slow breaths.” Merlin instructed.

Finally, he turned his attention away from him king. The rest of the room was watching him in rapture, but Merlin took no notice of it. His golden eyes that had looked at his revived love with such affection were now boiling with liquid rage. They fell on Arthur’s plate.

Someone had dared to poison his king. Someone had tried to take Arthur away from him. That someone would pay.

Merlin threw out his hands and his magic jumped to his biding. Having cured what was inside Arthur it easily identified where the poison was on the plate. The roast. Though it hadn’t been cooked into the meat, or else it would have poisoned the whole feast. No, it had been drizzled on top of it like a sauce and soaked up. This had been a deliberate strike at the heart of Camelot.

“Remain with the King.” Merlin ordered to Lancelot.

“Merlin…” in a hoarse voice which only fueled Merlin’s anger, Arthur tried to stop him. “Wait.”

Even the words of his king weren’t enough to break through the pure fury inside him. It could only be quenched when he held the person responsible. Merlin said nothing more to anyone before he walked out of the hall.

As he strode down the halls, his magic exploded out of him like an invisible tendril seeking out the poison. It led him straight toward the kitchens. He threw open the door with a loud crack. The kitchen staff startled at his entrance. Though it seemed that even in the few minutes since Arthur had collapsed word had already spread here. No one looked surprised by his appearance.

An older gentleman who seemed to be in charge stepped forward and bowed low to him. “Lord Merlin, I have the cooks searching everything in the kitchen to look for what might have harmed your king. However I take full responsibility for the incident. This is my kitchen and I should have been more aware and never let a poisoned dish slip past my guard. Please, tell me King Arthur still lives?”

Merlin could tell he was genuinely disturbed by the event and ready to take whatever punishment Merlin deemed necessary. All the man wanted was to calm his conscious with the knowledge that no one had died for what he deemed his mistake.

Already, Merlin’s magic had sniffed the man out and knew he had no trace of the poison or malice against his king. “He lives and I do not think you are responsible. If you would please let me search your kitchen, I believe I can find who is responsible.”

“Yes, yes. Anything you need.” He stepped back waving openly for Merlin to enter. Then turned his attention to his staff. “Please, allow Lord Merlin to examine anything and answer any questions he might ask.”

Not that he’d needed the permission, but knowing he had the staff’s support and wasn’t going to scare some poor innocent worker, Merlin released his magic. It burst out of him in golden tendrils moving over every surface to find the poison. Merlin’s head jerked to the left when he felt it latch onto something. Next to where one of the plating stations had been Merlin sensed a few drops that had seeped into the counter.

Merlin pointed to it. “Who was working here?”

A girl, who barely appeared to be old enough to be working spoke up quickly. “That was Miss Maralyn.”

“Maralyn?” The head chef said in confusion. “She wasn’t supposed to be working today. She’s supposed to be home with her son that’s been ill.”

“But I saw her.” The girl protested. “She and I were putting the food on the plates, but then she took one out to the hall even though that’s Darin’s job and never came back.”

“What does this Maralyn look like?” Merlin demanded.

“Uh…short, but a bit taller than me. She has brown hair she keeps up in a tail and I think she was dressed in a dark gray dress.”

That was all he needed.

“Chef, relay that information to the guards. They’ll want to question her.” Though they would be lucky if they found her first.

Merlin stormed out of the kitchen set on his mission. Just like in the kitchen, tendrils of his magic shot out around him. It took all his concentration as they snaked down every passageway, continuously splitting so they could stretch out through the whole castle in search of the poison once again. Since there hadn’t been any container tinged with the poison, it was likely the girl still had it in her possession.

After only a few minutes of searching, he felt his magic pulse. It had found the poison.

Running through the halls, Merlin followed where he had felt it coming from. He expected to find the girl hiding or perhaps looking for a way to escape. What he didn’t expect, was to trip over her body as he turned a corner.

He fell hard, and in his usual clumsy fashion. Stumbling to his feet, he hurried over to her searching for a pulse. Gone. He was too late. The rest of the poison vial lay in her open palm.

Everything after that was a blur in Merlin’s mind. He knew that a guard had stumbled upon the scene and reported that the girl had been found. More guards had arrived along with King Lot himself. Merlin had answered every question asked of him, but he didn’t exactly remember what he had said.

The adrenaline from nearly losing Arthur along with the coursing anger had all come to a violent halt when he found the body.

None of it made sense. Why would a random average citizen of Essetir try to poison Arthur? Killing a neighboring king would do little to affect her own life. Where she had she gotten the poison as well? Merlin had examined it. It was highly rare and well refined, something no average girl could make or even buy. Then of course the biggest question. Why had she taken the poison herself? Was it an action of guilt? Fear?

“Do not worry, Lord Merlin.” Lot’s hand suddenly on his shoulder drew him out of his thoughts. “I know this incident must have been very stressful, but your quick actions not only saved the king’s life, but also helped up find out who was behind this.”

“I don’t believe she was behind it.” Merlin stated. “Something more is going on here.”

“What do you mean?” Lot blinked at him.

Arthur had said not to tell him too much. There had been no need to scare Lot with their own problems. But how much could or should they keep secret now when there had been an attack directly on Arthur in the castle.

Merlin wasn’t an idiot. First an attack on their travel there. Then an attempt to kill Arthur. His dreams had been correct, death was heading their way.

Now more than ever Merlin’s whole body ached for need of Arthur. It felt like days ago when he’d left him choking for breath on the floor of the dining room. He needed to see him and know that he was alive.

“I must speak to my King. Do you know where he is now?” Merlin asked. He didn’t have the energy to send his magic out to find him.

“Your knights were taking him to your chambers and my head physician was to meet them there so he could check him over.” Lot answered instead of pressing his previous question.

Merlin gave him a polite bow and half ran back towards their chambers, toward Arthur.

Chapter Text

Arthur felt like he could finally draw in enough breath again and was happy to use it to shout at his fusing knights. “I’m perfectly fine. Now can someone please go find Merlin.”

His sorcerer had disappeared before anyone could follow him. With the mounting threats on their lives, he really hated the thought of Merlin chasing after an assassin alone.

It was still all a bit hazy for Arthur. He hadn’t even tasted anything strange in his food. Just one moment he was talking to Lot and the next he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t remember Merlin coming over to him. One minute the world had been going black and the next Merlin’s magic was flowing through his whole body. He’d woken to his lover’s cold trembling lips pressed against his own. Then Merlin had been gone.

Lancelot and Percival glanced at each other. “We can’t leave you unguarded in this state and Merlin can handle himself.”

“Perhaps, but he’s also the best at finding trouble and constantly feels the need to prove so.” Arthur had learned that quickly as he listened to every single story Merlin recounted of the things, he had done to protect Arthur in the past.

“Arthur—”

“How about I go find him then,” He stood up on wobbly legs not even letting Lancelot finish the statement. “You can follow if you wish.” But he hadn’t made it more than a few steps before the door opened and Merlin walked in.

“What are you doing? You should be resting! You almost died, Arthur!” Merlin stalked towards him.

He reached out and for a moment Arthur thought he was going for an embrace, but instead he grabbed Arthur’s arm and swung it over his own shoulder so he could lead his king back to the bed.

“I’m fine, Merlin. Don’t worry about me. Did you catch the assassin?”

“Yes and no.” Then Merlin proceeded to explain how he’d tracked the poison and the servant who used it.

“None of this is making any sense.” Arthur was getting tired of the number of threats coming from every direction. “First you get a magical vision that I’m to be put under a death curse. Then we’re attacked by a group of bandits led by a mage. And now some random servant is trying to poison me? And with a simple poison easily healed by magic. It’s like she wasn’t even trying.”

“Unless that’s the whole point.” Merlin muttered.

“What?” Lancelot frowned at him.

“Arthur is right, even I was thinking about it. None of this makes any sense unless you consider that it’s not supposed to. All these other attacks could just be a distraction. Something to put our guards up to distract us from their real purpose.”

It was a novel idea and one with merit, but the real question then was what is their real purpose?

“What do we do then?” Lancelot asked interrupting Arthur’s train of thought.

“Not much we can do. Even knowing this might be a distraction doesn’t make the danger any less real. We need to be more prepared.” Arthur answered.

 “And how exactly do we do that?” Percival questioned.

Arthur frowned. “Maybe it is time we speak to King Lot. We can’t hide this any longer from him.”

“He definitely realized something is going on and is starting to ask questions. Perhaps the two of us should speak with him in the morning.” Merlin added.

“The night is still young, we could—” Arthur was suddenly cut off into a coughing fit.

“In the morning.” Merlin assured him. “You still need to rest. Even my magic can’t heal everything. Honestly, the best thing you could do for your throat would be to stop talking.”

“You just want me to shut up, don’t you?”

“Guilty.” Merlin gave a teasing smile. Then he turned back to Lancelot and Elyan. “Thank you for taking care of him. I can handle it from here.”

Both of them understood when their rulers wanted some alone time. They walked out of the room with only a light amount of teasing.

Once they were alone, Merlin wasted no time pulling Arthur against his chest. Arthur was happy to cling back just as intently.

“Never run off like that again.” Arthur ordered. “Charging off alone after an assassin, what were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t.” At least Merlin had the decency to admit it. “I’ve seen you die too many times already. I can’t let it happen again. I won’t survive it.”

“And neither would I if I lost you.” Arthur tucked his face into Merlin’s neck and breathed in his scent. Suddenly, he realized what he’d said. “Wait, what do you mean many times? You said you’ve seen me die many times, not almost seen, but had.”

Merlin pulled away from Arthur as if he had been burned.

“Merlin?”

“I…” He looked down at his feet as like he was ashamed somehow.

Softer this time, Arthur reached out to touch him again. “You can tell me anything, Merlin. I’ll never judge you.”

Merlin tilted his eyes up just enough that Arthur could see them below his curls. Based on his expression, Arthur figured he’d gotten too close to what he’d been thinking.

“I didn’t think you’d judge me, but you’d be upset that I…” His eyes shifted from guilty to desperate. “I won’t let you die, Arthur. I can’t. So the only way I could be sure that I get it right, that I don’t miss anything was to see it again.”

Now, Arthur realized what he meant. “You can resummon the dream.” It wasn’t a question.

Merlin nodded. “Each night since I’ve casted a spell before sleep so I can watch it over and over again.”

So every night while they had been curled together, Merlin had been silently reliving that nightmare. No wonder he looked so ragged, why he was so emotionally fraught. Arthur had to admit, Merlin was right. He was upset that Merlin had put himself through that, but he could understand his reasoning. If Arthur was mad at anything it was the necessity of such an extreme measure in the first place.

Arthur leaned forward and pressed his lips to Merlin’s. “It’s okay, Merlin. I understand. Have you seen anything different?”

He shook his head. “Just the same images over and over again. The crown on broken pavement, the sword hilt, and the old fountain. Then you die.”

“And there’s nothing else you can learn about the dream?”

“It’s strange. I still don’t understand where it came from. I’ve never had prophetic dreams before, so it doesn’t make sense that I have them now. More than that the dream is strange.”

“How?”

“It’s…” Merlin appeared to struggle to find the word, “dark. I mean, your death is grim enough, but it’s something more than that. I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“So you keep watching it to retry.”

Merlin gave a sheepish grin. “Can’t hurt to try.”

Arthur frowned. “But it is. It’s hurting you.” Taking Merlin’s hand he led him back towards the bed. “Neither of us knows what tomorrow will bring. But right now, we have each other. You’ve done enough. Tonight, just stay here, with me.”

For a moment, Merlin looked like he was going to argue. Only Arthur had trailed his fingers around his neck, tugging gently at the base of his hair. Merlin shivered and shook his head. “Gods, I’m too easy, aren’t I?”

“Only to me.” Arthur purred.

An hour later, the nightmare was long forgotten by both men as they lay in each other’s arms. Neither were asleep. Arthur was sure of that, despite his even breathing by the way Merlin’s fingers continued to stroke his naked hip.

Arthur knew they both needed sleep, and yet he was content to continue like that long into the night. Tomorrow things would be so different. Elyan would be back with Hunith and the moment she arrived he was going to propose, festival be damned. So long as Merlin said yes, gods he hoped he would say yes, by the time they returned to this bed they would be married.

He wanted to savor this moment, this version of them. A last night before he made Merlin a king. A smile spread wide across his face at the thought. Merlin would make an even better King than him.

Arthur wished he could say he had heard a noise, that some part of him had sensed the danger. Truly it had been pure coincidence that he opened his eyes with the intent of staring at Merlin in the moonlight. Instead he saw the golden hilt of a sword poised to strike.

Chapter Text

Merlin was roused from his sated slumber with the violent shout, “MERLIN!” Before his mind had even come awake, he was rolled off the bed and straight onto the cement floor. He opened his eyes to the sight of a long golden sword sliced through the bed where they had just been sleeping.

Instinct more than intension had Merlin lifting his hand to throw the attacker back. He clung to Arthur who was attempting to unwrap himself from their tangled blankets to defend. Merlin was more than prepared to take care of them both now.

This assassin had made a grave mistake coming for Arthur in their bed.

Forgetting modesty, Merlin stood between the assassin and his king chanting a spell. All the items in the room lifted from the floor, flying straight at the assassin together. He used his sword to dodge as he fumbled to say a spell too. All the items fell back to the floor with a large crash.

So not just a swordsman, a wizard as well. This was a deadly combination, and he nearly swore it was the same voice he had heard in the forest the day before. What really concerned Merlin was that the sound of their fight hadn’t brought any of the knights from their post outside.

He would have to worry about his friends later.

Merlin had to jump back to miss being slashed by his next swing. In his usual clumsy fashion he found his feet still entangled in the bedsheets and fell straight on his ass. When the sword swung towards him again, he had no way to dodge. He braced to shield himself, but Arthur was already there.

While Merlin had been fighting him, he’d slipped into a pair of trousers and grabbed Excalibur. Their swords met with a loud clang. Enraged, Arthur could not be stopped by the assassin’s attack.

Merlin took the opportunity to spell himself free and dressed. Gods he’d have to think later about the fact that he and Arthur had somehow ended up fighting for their lives naked and how brilliantly hot that was.

Now, fully ready for battle, Merlin stepped up to Arthur’s side.

The assassin seemed to realize that with the element of surprise lost he’d found himself outnumbered. He took two steps back.

“Who are you?” Arthur demanded.

“Your doom, Pendragon.” He answered.

Merlin groaned. “For the love of all please get your lines from somewhere other then Every Henchman’s Handbook. It’s getting old.”

The assassin shouted an ancient word and smoke exploded around them. Both Merlin and Arthur choked on it. But even in the haze, Merlin saw a figure leap towards the window. The sound of glass shattering echoed through the room.

No, this was not over. The assassin had come into their bedroom and threatened his king. Merlin wasn’t about to let him get away to attack again. This ended tonight.

He ran straight into the smoke despite Arthur’s desperate cries to stop. Merlin threw himself out of the window after the man, using his magic to slow his descent to the ground. In the moonlight, Merlin could only see a shadow running in the distance. He charged after him, using every ounce of speed he had to close the distance.

Behind him, Arthur was shouting for him to wait. He hoped Arthur would be smart enough not to actually climb out their three story window and would instead go alert the guards. But he figured Arthur wouldn’t be all that smart.

It was hard to follow the man through the dark, so Merlin threw out his magic to trace him the way he had before. Merlin didn’t know the area surrounding the castle of Essetir well enough to know where he was going, so he was even more surprised to realize that the man had circled around to the back gardens and disappeared into what appeared to be an abandoned hedge maze.

Merlin paused only for a second. This didn’t feel right. But every second he wasted the assassin could get away. If he wanted answers, he had to capture him now.

He rushed into the maze.

Overhead, the moonlight began to vanish as the sky blackened. Dark storm clouds circling them. The only light left was the tendril of magic marking the trail of the assassin. He followed it deep inside the maze until he didn’t know right from left anymore.

Then suddenly it all came to a halt. The narrow passageways opened up into what could only be the center. Merlin didn’t see the assassin anywhere, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there. Because at the moment, the only thing Merlin could see was an old water fountain with a broken spout.

The last image. The last sign from his dream.

Now they had all appeared.

“Merlin!” Arthur’s voice was shouting for him somewhere in the maze.

“Arthur, don’t!” He replied, even thought he knew Arthur would never leave him at a time like this. At least the idiot was smart enough to enter the clearing with his sword drawn.

“What happened to your promise not to run off after sorcerers without me anymore?” Arthur demanded as soon as stood next to Merlin.

Yeah, no, he’d just totally forgotten about making that one. But that didn’t matter.

Merlin grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “No matter what happens, stay behind me. It’s here, Arthur. It’s happening now.”

Arthur’s eyes widened as he realized what Merlin meant. He took a moment to tilt their foreheads together. Conveying every feeling, every emotion that they’d ever shared in that single gesture.

Lightning flashed, crashing straight into the ground in front of them. It shook the ground like an earthquake. Merlin and Arthur held onto each other to keep from falling. Standing amongst the scorched ground, the assassin stood. Dark magic gathering around him like fog.

Well two could play at that game.

Bright dust clouds of gold rose up around his feet. It swirled around him in a whirlwind. Strong enough to act as a shield. Sharp enough to cut through anything the assassin could throw at him.

It had been a long time since Merlin had unleased his magic. He would have felt better knowing that Lancelot was there with the potion he had made in case he lost control. But for now, he had Arthur at his side. Arthur would pull him back from the edge if he fell too far. So he had to trust in them, in himself if they were going to make it out of this.

“Who are you that you dare to challenge the court sorcerer of Camelot?” Merlin demanded. “And remember, the only right answer to that question is a fool.”

Merlin thrust his arms forward. Magic whipped out from his hands and slammed into the earth where the assassin had been. He spun around looking for where the enemy would strike next. The man transported from one spot to the other so fast Merlin put his shield up in the wrong place.

Only Arthur’s blade saved him. He had moved to defend where Merlin missed.

But before Arthur could strike out, he was gone again. Arthur took a step forward as if to follow him.

“Don’t,” Merlin whispered. “He wants us separated. We’re too strong together.”

Once again, as they had in the forest. They stood back to back protecting one another. Though their enemy was only one this time, it took them both to keep his attacks at bay. This sorcerer was more powerful and more agile than any Merlin had encountered before.

Soon they were both growing exhausted. If they didn’t find a way to shift the tide, they may just give him the opening he was looking for.

As if thinking the same thing, Arthur whispered back to him. “I have an idea.”

“All ears.”

Arthur frowned at the poor attempt to lighten the situation but didn’t comment on it. He kept his voice low. “We’re too strong for him to take out together, right? So he’s trying to break us apart.”

“Obviously.” That had been his plan every other time. Everything he had done had been an attempt to get one or the other of them alone.

“Then let’s give him what he wants.”

Merlin’s heart skittered to a halt at even the thought of Arthur putting himself in danger. But rather than shout at him, he truly considered he idea. There came a point when he had to trust his King if they were going to make a real team.

“Alright.” Merlin agreed. “On your signal then.”

The next time the assassin attacked…

“Now,” Arthur yelled.

They both rolled away from each other rather than block. For a split second, the assassin seemed conflicted as to where to turn. Arthur attacked from the left, Merlin from the right. This time the hit landed perfectly. Excalibur cut through the assassin’s stomach and Merlin’s magic ripped into him. The assassin fell dead on the ground.

Above them, the clouds angry roar ceased. Moonlight broke through and illuminated the fountain.

Both Merlin and Arthur stood on opposite sides of the assassin’s body.

“We did it.” Arthur withdrew his sword. He walked around to pull Merlin to him. Crushing his face into Merlin’s neck. “It’s over and I’m still here.”

Merlin let himself be hugged, but he wasn’t so sure. Since the moment he’d had that vision, there had been a vice around his chest, a weight to his heart, a dark foreboding he couldn’t shake. He had thought that when the time came, and he faced the culmination of his vision and defeated it that there would be some relief. But it all just seemed too easy.

Far in the distance there was the sound of warning bells from the castle. It seems someone had finally realized what has happening. There were even shouts from the knights lost somewhere in the maze.

“Merlin! Arthur!” It was definitely Lancelot’s voice. Followed by Percival.

Arthur let him go with a gentle kiss and walked over to the maze’s opening to shout to the knights. “Over here.”

Merlin knelt over the body of the assassin. Using what Gaius had taught him about examining a body, he first pressed his fingers to his neck to check for a pulse. It came as a great relief when he didn’t find one. Though it would have been preferable to take him alive and find out more about whoever was behind these attacks, at least he wouldn’t be hurting anyone again.

Then Merlin’s eyes moved down to the wound Arthur had inflicted. The sword had penetrated deep, but it was hard to see much in the dark when the man had wrapped himself in black clothing. But something didn’t look right.

“No, you’re left, genius. Not mine. It’s not that hard.” Across the garden, Arthur was still shouting directions at the knights.

“Arthur,” Merlin said, drawing his king’s attention.

Merlin lifted the layers of clothing from around the wound and realized what was missing. They were dry. No blood. There was no living creature in all his readings that did not bleed meaning this was not that assassin.

“Arthur!” Merlin’s eyes shot up to warn him.

But it was too late.

Arthur was halfway across the garden. The assassin once again standing behind his back with an evil spell on his lips and death gathered in his hands.

Merlin knew he couldn’t reach him in time. For all the warnings, all the preparations he had been unable to keep his vision from happening. Yet that didn’t stop him from reaching for Arthur one last time, from screaming his name so Merlin’s voice would be he last thing he heard. It didn’t stop his magic from leaping out in a desperate hope to save his king.

Chapter Text

“Arthur!” Merlin’s voice had been screaming at him. There hadn’t been enough time to turn around, though he’d felt a dark shadow at his back. Arthur thanked all the gods that at least the last thing he would see in his life was Merlin’s face. Though he would have wished to leave him with a smile, even his terrified eyes were a gift.

Then he’d been surrounded by a blinding golden light and warmth.

Death was more peaceful than he’d imaged.

And heavier too. Something was weighing down on top of him. Something too familiar and unmistakable.

That’s when he realized he wasn’t dead. His heart was still pounding in his ears. Merlin’s arms were wrapped around him as they lay on the ground.

Somehow his genius of a court sorcerer had done it. Arthur dared to blink his eyes open long enough to see that the assassin was indeed dead this time. The golden light must have been his magic blocking the attack long enough to pull Arthur out of the way.

With a laugh, Arthur hugged Merlin closer to him. “You did it!”

Only Merlin didn’t respond. He didn’t hug Arthur back or bury his head into Arthur’s shoulder. He didn’t yell at him for not watching his back or breathe. He didn’t breathe.

“Merlin?” Arthur tried to push at the man on top of him, and Merlin’s whole body sagged limply.

No.

Arthur rolled them both, so Merlin was flat on his back and Arthur was on top of him.

He was just knocked out. He tried to convince himself.

But how could he… when the dead eyes of his lover stared back at him. They were still wide and terrified, but there was no light, no life.

A scream cut through the night. Arthur had no idea that it was his own. He was too busy grabbing at Merlin’s face, begging, pleading for it not to be real.

“You can’t be dead. You can’t be dead.”

He pressed a finger to his throat to find no pulse. He pressed his ear against his chest to hear not beat. He trailed his fingers over his cold lips in some desperate hope to feel even a single stray breath. But there was nothing.

Merlin was dead.

Merlin had died in his place.

“No Merlin! You can’t leave me! You promised me. You promised me.” This couldn’t be how their story ended. Merlin was the hero. He was the one who survived everything the world threw at him. He was the greatest sorcerer that had ever lived. His magic couldn’t let this happen.

“Wake up.” He begged, desperately pressing his lips to Merlin’s as if this were some fairytale and true love’s kiss would wake him. But it didn’t.

“Wake up!” He screamed it. His fingers clinging to Merlin’s skin as if he could some how keep him from going cold.

This had to be a nightmare. He had to be still asleep, up in the castle. Soon he would wake up and find himself wrapped in Merlin’s warmth and love and light and everything would be fine. Merlin would touch his face, kiss him, whisper words of assurances and promise to never leave him. Merlin had promised to never leave him.

“My gods.” Behind him the knights had finally found them. Found him, laying over Merlin’s body.

“It was supposed to be me.” Tears were choking Arthur’s voice now. He nearly prayed for them to strangle him to end the misery of his grief and regret. “It was supposed to be me! Merlin! Merlin!”

No one dared touch either of them. Arthur raging in his grief as he held Merlin’s dead body in his arms. What else could they do but bear witness? There were no words they could say that would make this alright. There was no touch but Merlin’s that could comfort him, and that was gone.

Arthur didn’t know how long they left him there. He knew only that Merlin was still dead in his arms.

Finally, someone came forward and pressed a hand to Arthur’s back. “Arthur.” It was Lancelot.

“He foresaw this.” His voice was so quiet now even to his own ears. Though whether it was because he had strained it with his screams or if it was because of the numbness spreading through his body he just didn’t know. “He saw me die, just like this.” Arthur slowly caressed Merlin’s face, making sure to close his eyes so he wasn’t forced to stare into the cold copy of the eyes he had loved. “He was so scared of losing me. He said I couldn’t die because he couldn’t live without me. So how…” his throat was too thick to speak through, but still he forced the words because he had to say them. “How could he think I could live without him?”

“He loved you, Arthur.”

“This is supposed to be me.” He cradled Merlin closer. Holding him as gently as he had on the first time he said, ‘I love you’. His heart had been broken then too, after watching Merlin suffer so much abuse at Rolan’s hand and being unable to protect him. It had been broken again when Merlin responded that it was impossible for him to be loved because he believed he didn’t deserve it. But that heart break was nothing compared to the gnawing hole in his heart as he looked down at Merlin’s dead body now. “It was supposed to be me.”

Lancelot felt to his knees and held both his king and his lost friend, crying with them.

The Essetir guards had finally found them. Percival kept them from disturbing Arthur, giving him what time he needed.

When they had both shed every drop of water in their body, Lancelot finally forced himself to speak again. “We should bring him inside. He wouldn’t… he wouldn’t want to be on display like this.”

Arthur looked away from Merlin for a moment to see the crowd that had gathered to gaze upon the fallen mage. Part of him wanted to turn his empty rage on them to go away, to stop staring at Merlin as if he was some spectacle. But he could almost hear Merlin whispering in his ear. “Don’t be such a prat, I know I taught you some manners over the years.”

Numbly, he nodded to Lancelot. Seeing the state of his king, Lancelot moved to help lift Merlin’s body. Arthur jerked him closer to his chest. “I have him.” He was too light, even for his body being entirely dead weight, Merlin was too light. Gods he was always too light, spending too much of his time running around helping everyone rather than taking care of himself. Arthur should have looked after him better, made sure he ate more, took more time to enjoy…

As he carried him across the unfamiliar palace grounds, Arthur kept Merlin’s head tucked under his chin. Though his skin had gone cold with the night chill, his soft black curls still felt the same. Soft and tickling. Somehow his feet found him back in the room they had been given. Back in front of the bed where they’d made love not but a few hours ago. Arthur laid him down gently on the soft sheets.

He knew Lancelot and Percival had followed him. He knew with the loss of his court sorcerer on the grounds of another kingdom there was much that needed to be done. He would need to speak with Lot, have the assassin’s body examined for what they might learn. He would need to make arrangements to leave, to take Merlin home. Arthur needed to be a king.

But right now, he could only be a man who had lost the love of his life.

“Leave…” he’d almost ordered ‘leave us’. Arthur swallowed and spoke again. “Leave me.”

There were many types of grief. He had felt them all before – the grief of never knowing his mother, the grief for the man his father had never been, the grief of losing a friend, a knight, an innocent he couldn’t protect, the grief of watching his sister lose her way and become overcome by darkness, the grief of not being enough for his kingdom – and he had survived them all.

But how was he meant to survive this? How could destiny be so cruel as to gift him with the better half of himself only to strip him away?

Arthur curled up in the bed beside him. Pulling his whole body against him as he always did when they slept together. He dug his head into Merlin’s neck rapid fire breaths dragging in the remnants of his scent. “You can’t be dead. You can’t be gone. You have to wake up. Come back to me, Merlin. Don’t leave me alone.”

Chapter Text

Sunlight filtered in through the windows. Arthur blinked his eyes open, and he could have cried for the sight in front of him.

Merlin lay stretched out next to him. Alive.

He was alive. His skin was no longer that deathly pale it had been in the moonlight, but the supple pink flush he always had in the morning, skin still warm with their shared body heat. His chest was rising up and down in a slow rhythm that showed he was completely at peace in Arthur’s embrace. His arms moved in a stretch as he clutched the pillow closer to his face as if he could hide from the morning. “Just a few more minutes.” He mumbled in that way he always mumbled when he was still half asleep.

“Oh gods,” Arthur shot up and wrapped his arms around Merlin. “Oh gods you scared me half to death you absolute asshole!”

The sound of Merlin’s little chuckle nearly sent his heart into a wild spike. “Well, that’s one way to greet me in the morning.”

Arthur laughed despite the sob building in his chest.

Suddenly as if he’d realized Arthur’s distress, Merlin frowned. “Arthur? What’s wrong?”

“You were dead.” He couldn’t stop himself from crying into Merlin’s shoulder as he held the familiar body to him. “You died instead of me. Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save you. But you’re here now. I knew you’d never leave.”

“Of course not, Arthur. I would never leave you.” Merlin whispered into his hair. “I’ll always be with you.”

His voice was suddenly growing farther away. Arthur jerked. Merlin’s body was slowly vanishing from beneath his fingers.

“Merlin?” He panicked, trying to hold onto the whisps that were his whole life. “No! No, you promised! You said you’d stay. You can’t go!”

“I’m not going anywhere, Arthur.” He whispered. “I’m right here. Just hold on to me. Don’t let me go.”

He was trying. He was trying! Didn’t Merlin see he was trying? But there was nothing left to hold. Then he was gone.

Arthur woke up with a scream. Tear streaks were already crusted into his cheeks so at least they knew where to fall. He couldn’t handle this. Was this his new destiny? For every dream to be haunted by Merlin’s memory. To wake up knowing he was gone and lost forever.

Merlin’s cold dead body was still curled in his arms right where he had left him. His lips would never smile again. His throat would never laugh. His eyes would never open.

Unacceptable. Unacceptable!

Arthur tore himself from the bed. He forced himself to change from the clothes he was still in from last night. Though he missed the weight of Merlin’s body with every movement, he knew holding him now would be no different than how he had tried to hold onto him in his dream.

It was too late to do anything. Merlin was already gone. Someone had taken him away. Someone had sent that assassin to part them from each other. That was the person Arthur had to blame for the gnawing emptiness growing inside him. That was the person Arthur needed to find, to punish.

He made the mistake of turning to look at Merlin’s body again. Somehow, he looked exactly the same as he always did in the morning. If he stared hard enough, he could almost trick himself into thinking he was just asleep. But since the first time they had been together, truly together, their bodies becoming one in the dark he had always felt Merlin’s spirit. It was like this tiny golden thread between them that always drew them to one another. Arthur knew Merlin’s spirit was not here. It no longer resided in this body.

Standing above the body of his true love he made a vow, a vow that he would not rest again until the person responsible for Merlin’s death was dead at his feet.

“Arthur?”

He hadn’t even heard the door open. Lancelot stood in the room. He looked almost as miserable as Arthur felt. His eyes were blood-shot and there were dark circles beneath them. Worse than that was the look of absolute pity in his eyes.

Arthur hated pity.

Lancelot had opened his mouth as if to say something, but Arthur had no interest to hear whatever it was.

“What have you discovered?” He asked instead.

Only Lancelot didn’t answer. He kept looking at him with those horribly sad eyes.

Arthur pulled rank as he always did when he didn’t want to deal with the emotions waring inside him. “You’ll answer your king!”

“Hunith is here.” Those three words broke any semblance of composure Arthur had left.

Oh gods!

He’d forgotten. He had forgotten that he had sent for Hunith to be brought to join them. He had sent for her with the hope that she would watch them wed, and now all she would see was Merlin’s cold dead corpse.

Arthur would have to tell her his failings. He would have to tell a mother that her beloved son was dead because of him.

“Where is she?” There was no way that Arthur could ask for her to be brought here. Not without preparing her for what she would see.

“Percival is with her in the guest chambers. He wanted to keep her away from…” Lancelot cut off.

He nodded, understanding. Only as he meant to turn towards the door did he realize the whole time they were talking his eyes had never left Merlin’s body. Even his hand and drifted to curl around Merlin’s cold one.

As if sensing his next request, Lancelot stepped forward. “I will stay with him until you return.” He hadn’t said his body, he’d said him as he still didn’t accept he was gone. Drowning in his own sorrow, it had been easy to forget that he was not the only one mourning Merlin’s loss. Lancelot had been one of Merlin’s closest friends and confidants as long as Arthur had, longer in the latter.

Arthur did something he never did with anyone other than Merlin. He crossed the room and pulled Lancelot into a firm hug. “I’m sorry, Lancelot.” He didn’t hear Lancelot’s sobs, but he felt the man’s tears against his shoulder.

Arthur was no good with words. He wasn’t great with comforting others either. But he said what he thought Merlin would have wanted him to hear in the end. “You were one of the best friend’s Merlin ever had. He loved you like a brother. He used to tell me how you were always there for him. He struggled for so long to trust after Rolan, had even sworn to never trust another soul with his magic again. Then he met you. The most noble, brave, trustworthy, selfless person he had met, excluding me of course.” At that Lancelot gave a wet chuckle. They both knew that was blatantly false as the words Merlin would have used to describe Arthur back then were pompous, supercilious, obnoxious ass. “You were the best friend he could ever ask for. And I can’t help but thank you for being there for him all those years when I was too much a fool to do it.”

Lancelot pulled back and gave him a small smile. The pity was gone replaced by gratefulness. “Thank you, Arthur.”

They parted without another word.

Every step away from Merlin was painful, but at least it was something. The numbness had yet to return. While part of him wanted to sink into it and float away from the pain in his heart, he knew he couldn’t. If he let the numbness consume him, he would never be able to come back from it, not without Merlin to pull him from that precipice. Merlin wouldn’t want him to live that way, forever emotionless.

So he forced himself to open the door and stare into Hunith’s eyes.

She stood slowly from her chair as he entered. Her gaze piercing and all too knowing as she took in the sight of him. He hadn’t said a word, but she knew exactly what he had come to tell her.

Percival silently stood from the room. He left with nothing more than a soft press of his hand against Arthur’s shoulder as he passed.

Tears were gathering in Hunith’s eyes. “Merlin’s gone then.” She had framed it like a question, but it didn’t sound like one.

“Yes.” Arthur forced himself to say.

Arthur closed his eyes waiting to hear her sobs, or perhaps her shouts of how he had taken her son from him, that this was his fault. Instead, he found himself enveloped in the arms of the closest thing to a mother he ever knew. He couldn’t understand it. Her acceptance, her comfort. It all meant he was gone.

As they cried together, she didn’t ask him how it had happened. Maybe Percival had told her everything after all, it was the only reason he could think of why she wasn’t demanding answers.

“Did Percival tell you what happened? That this is my fault.”

Hunith trailed her hand down Arthur’s cheeks the same way he had always seen her do with Merlin.  “Oh, Arthur. Oh, my dear boy. I don’t need to know what happened to know this is not your fault. I know my son. I know how much he cared for you and if he died protecting you then it was his choice. He would have made the choice to save you over the chance to live five hundred years without you. He loved you.”

“I loved him.” Arthur reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring he had hoped to give to Merlin before all this. “I sent for you because I was going to ask him to marry me tonight. I knew he’d say yes, and I wanted you to be with us when we said our vows. Both of us knew an end was coming, Merlin had had a vision, but it had been my death he had foreseen. I was going to leave him everything, my love, my kingdom, my people, because he was worth all that. He may have been born a simple farmer, but he had proved himself more worthy of my throne than I ever will be. And now he’s gone.”

Hunith petted his head. “He’s not gone. He will be with us always. I just wish I had seen him one last time before…” she choked on the words. “Why would someone do this to my sweet boy?”

This time it was Arthur hugging her, holding her up as her own grief overtook her.

“I swear to you, Hunith. I will not let his sacrifice be in vain. I will find whoever did this and I will give Merlin the justice he deserves.” Arthur vowed.

Hunith nodded. “May I…may I see him?”

Arthur took her hand. “I can take you to him.”

They walked together back to Arthur’s chambers. Only as Arthur approached the door he froze.

Hunith looked at him confused. “Arthur? What’s wrong?”

He didn’t know. He couldn’t explain the strange foreboding surrounding them. “Lancelot?” Arthur called out, but there was no answer.

Dread filled his chest.

“Lancelot?” He repeated.

When there was still no response, he gestured for Hunith to step back and placed a hand on his sword. Breaking open the door, Arthur gasped at the scene before him.

Lancelot was sprawled unconscious on the ground and Merlin’s body was gone.

Chapter Text

Merlin awoke with a start, Arthur’s name on his lips.

He could still remember everything clearly. The sight of the assassin standing behind Arthur. Arthur’s confused face as he’d called out a warning. The magic gathering to destroy all that he loved.

In that moment Merlin hadn’t been able to think of anything other saving Arthur. He’d had to save Arthur. Even against all odds, he’d had to save him.

Only as he looked around him now, he knew he’d been too late. He was still laying in the middle of the maze. Night had long since passed and day had dawned anew. But Arthur…his beloved Arthur was gone.

There wasn’t even a body left. The connection Merlin had always felt between them, a piece of his magic tethering him to his destiny was broken. That was all the proof he needed to know he had failed his king.

“Arthur.” Merlin sobbed bitterly into his own hands.

He had known that this was coming. He had tried to prepare himself for the inevitable. Yet now as he pictured a lifetime without Arthur, he realized how woefully unprepared he really was.

How was he supposed to go on without him? How was he supposed to survive in a world where Arthur no longer existed? How was he going to tell everyone that Arthur was dead because of him?

At the thought of his friends, Merlin’s sobs stopped.

Wait a minute.

Merlin blinked at the scene around him. Something wasn’t right. His first thought had been that maybe he’d been knocked unconscious when he tried to save Arthur and that was why so much time had passed. But…

More and more pieces were coming together in his mind. He and Arthur hadn’t been alone last night. The knights had been in the maze, just around the corner. Even if Arthur had been killed and Merlin knocked out, they wouldn’t have just left him out there alone.

A cold dread spread through him. An eerie silence filled the world around him.

Something was very wrong.

Merlin forced himself to his feet. He needed answers. As much as he wanted to sit there and wallow in his grief, he knew Arthur would want him to be strong and keep going.

He headed back to the castle. He figured that would be the best place to start. Obviously, they had taken notice last night when there had been an attack. Merlin could remember the sound of soldiers marching through the maze as the battle had come to an end. Surely, there would be someone in the castle that knew what had happened since he’d been unconscious.

The first people he seeks out are the knights. Maybe they could explain why he had been left out there. As he walked the halls, he realized the castle was a flurry of activity. It reminded him of Camelot in moments of crisis when everyone was on alert and ready for an attack. Merlin tried to speak to a few, but they were so focused on their tasks they didn’t even acknowledge him. These weren’t like the servants in Camelot and didn’t recognize him on sight so he couldn’t blame them.

Giving up, he focused on getting to the knights’ chambers. The room had been set up next to theirs so the knights could take shifts during the night. He figured at least one of them would be there sleeping after everything they would have been through. Only he found the room completely empty. Instead, all the voices were coming from his and Arthur’s room.

Merlin paused just outside the open door, knowing when he turned the corner, he would see the room that he had been sharing with Arthur. His grief swamped him once again, but he tried to push it aside. He couldn’t stop right now to feel because if he let the grief take over, he would never be able to function again. Right now his friends needed him to figure out what was happened and who was behind it.

He stepped into the room and felt his heart fall through his chest.

Arthur was there.

He was standing right there in the middle of the room, staring at the bed they had once shared.

Arthur was alive. He was alive and beautiful and perfect as he always had been.

“My gods, Arthur!” Merlin rushed forward without thinking.

If he stopped to think he might have realized that Arthur reacted to his voice, that he hadn’t even turned to look at him. If he had, then maybe he wouldn’t have been so shocked when his body passed straight through Arthur.

The shock was mind-numbing. His mind rebelled against the very reality he now found himself in. For the first time since he woke up, he realized all the little things. He hadn’t felt the grass beneath his hands in the maze. He hadn’t smelled the fresh food the servants carried past him. No one had looked at him as he walked through the castle.

Arthur hadn’t died.

Merlin had.

He was nothing more than a ghost.

But if he was a ghost, why was he here? He had thought that ghosts went…well, somewhere else when they died. Somewhere peaceful where he might have been able to see his father, and Will again. Despite all the ghost stories to the contrary, it was rare and took great power for a ghost to remain on the earthly plane.

Maybe this was his curse for having failed his destiny, to roam the earth watching those he loved and never able to be with them. He imagined years of trailing after Arthur, watching him fulfill their destiny alone. Maybe even see him fall in love with someone else and get married, have kids. Merlin would have to endure it all knowing that life could have been his if only he hadn’t failed.

Tears streamed down his face. He knew they did, but he could not feel the pinpricks behind his eyes or their warm trail down his cheek.

Don’t get him wrong. Merlin was overjoyed to know that in the end he had saved Arthur. His last moments were still blurry in his mind, but his magic must have created one last miracle and slowed time enough for him to take the blow instead of Arthur. His life in exchange for his lovers seemed like the best end he could have hoped for.

But despite his joy that Arthur had lived, the result had still been the same. They were separated. He would never again hold Arthur in his arms. He would never feel his lips pressed against his own. He would never again know the taste of his skin. Though they were right next to each other they were worlds apart.

Merlin moved so he was standing in front of Arthur once again. He could see the same grief reflected. It was obvious in every part of him, the paleness of his skin, the bags under his eyes, even the way he held himself as if the world was dragging him down. There were tears there now, trying not to fall.

“Oh, Arthur I’m so sorry, love. I never wanted to leave you.” Habit had him reaching out to touch him and wipe all his sorrow away, but once again his hand fazed right through him.

Suddenly, almost as if he had felt it, Arthur turned towards him. At least for a brief moment it felt that way before Merlin too heard the footsteps at the door.

Percival had entered the room.

The sorrow had vanished from his face replaced by the hard expression he always wore in the heat of battle. “Report.”

Percival didn’t seem disturbed by the callous order. “A search has been launched across the whole castle. King Lot himself will be on his way here to speak with you as soon as he has finished with his knights.”

Arthur nodded. “And what of Lady Hunith?”

His mom? Why was Arthur talking about his mom? Would the news of his death have reached her already? Maybe more time had passed then he thought, but he had no way to voice any of his questions.

“A few of the knights are escorting her back to Camelot as you ordered. I know she didn’t want to leave with everything going on, but she said she understood you were looking out for her safety.”

“And Lancelot?”

 “He has come around. Their physician says he was a mild concussion and treated the cut on the back of his head. He says he didn’t see or hear anyone in the room when he was attacked, but he swears that the door was closed the whole time so they must have gotten inside some other way.”

Wait? Lancelot was hurt. They were attacking Lancelot now. He should have known he wouldn’t be lucky enough for this to come to an end with his death alone.

Maybe that was why he was still here. He was the most powerful sorcerer that ever lived so it wasn’t so crazy to think that maybe even his spirit had power. Perhaps he was here to finish what he’d been unable to in life, to save Arthur.

And if he was going to do that, he needed to figure out what he had missed and fast.

At Percival’s report, Arthur started looking around the room. “If they didn’t use the door, then there must be another way they were able to enter this room. That also might explain how an assassin got in here last night.” He was checking every part of the wall.

“They could have also used magic.” Percival suggested.

“Like I wouldn’t have sensed if they used magic.” Merlin snapped, insulted. Only to remember they couldn’t even hear him.

“No,” Arthur said. “Merlin would have sensed that.”

Even as a ghost, Merlin beamed at Arthur. At least death hadn’t broken Arthur’s constant faith in his abilities.

“How do you know he didn’t that night?” Percival asked.

“I woke up first. If the assassin used magic to enter, Merlin would have woken immediately. And he was surprised when the assassin used magic later.” Arthur explained. Then he shouted. “Ah ha!” His fingers pressed in on a crease in the wall and a secret panel opened.

“A hidden tunnel?” Percival walked over to examine it.

“We need to search this tunnel immediately. I want to know where in the castle this leads and who knows about it.” Arthur ordered. “Time is of the essence if we’re going to find Merlin.”

Find Merlin? What the hell was he talking about? He was dead. Why would they be looking for him? Did Arthur think he was still alive somehow? Damn he had missed too much for this to make sense.

Percival was already halfway to the door. “I will have our knights on it immediately.”

Left alone in the room again, Arthur turned back towards the bed. He spoke to the empty sheets as if speaking to him, his shoulders shaking with his repressed tears, and it broke Merlin’s heart. “I’m so sorry, Merlin. I couldn’t protect you in life and apparently, I couldn’t do it even in death. But I will find you. I will bring you home after I have avenged you.”

Even though Merlin knew he couldn’t touch him, he stood behind him, wrapping his arms around Arthur’s chest. “I know, Arthur, you have always protected me. Even when you couldn’t protect my body you protected my heart and soul. Your arms were the first place I felt safe, really and truly safe in my life. You’ve always done enough. And even though I can’t be with you right now, and even though I know you can’t hear a word I’m saying, I’m still here beside you.”

The moment was broken by a sudden rap at the door.

Merlin turned as Arthur did to see that it was King Lot now who stood in the doorway. King Lot had a deep look of pity on his face. “King Arthur, I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through, Lord Merlin was…” he choked up a bit. “Merlin was one of the finest men I have ever met. The fact that he was lost here, under my castle…I will never be able to make enough apologies for my failure to protect you both.”

Arthur gave a half smile, more politeness than any genuine feeling. “It is not your fault alone.”

“I know, but that does little to assuage my guilt. Though, I come baring more than simply apologies and condolences.” Lot said. “My knights have found who we believe supplied the poison to the servant. I thought you would like the chance to interrogate him yourself. Maybe he might have more information about the assassin as well.”

“Yes. Thank you.” Arthur gave one last long look at the bed and followed after the King.

Merlin moved to follow, but he froze as he watched a dark smile spread across Lot’s face as he stared at Arthur’s back. A cold foreboding spread through Merlin’s chest.

Yeah, something was definitely very very wrong.

Chapter Text

It felt strange to have anyone other than Merlin walking beside him. Not that this was the first time anyone other than Merlin had been in that position, in fact Arthur couldn’t exactly explain what he was feeling himself. Somehow it was like stepping back into the past, with a royal guest at his side and Merlin trailing along somewhere behind him. But Merlin wasn’t behind him anymore nor beside him.

As Lot lead him into the castle dungeon, Arthur couldn’t avoid the man’s questions any longer. “King Arthur, since the moment you arrived in Essetir, it seemed that you knew more than you were willing to tell me. However, I fear it has now become detrimental not only for your safety, but the safety of my own people that I ask for anything you may know about the current situation. I failed to protect Lord Merlin, and I cannot in good conscious make the same mistakes with you.”

Arthur blew out a long sigh. Maybe it had been wrong to keep King Lot out of the loop. Though they were new allies, Arthur could not shake his past distrust of Essetir. Now, there wasn’t much choice if he wanted Lot’s help.

“Before we came here, Merlin had foreseen my death. However, the vision he saw was inconclusive. We had no knowledge of when, where, or how it would come to be. Truthfully, I had wanted to remain in Camelot, but Merlin pointed out that destiny could not be so easily avoided by sealing the castle doors. We decided to come, hoping no one would be foolish enough to attack us when we are surrounded not only by our own knights, but by yours as well. Obviously, we were wrong.”

Lot weighed that information for a few minutes in silence. “For most ordinary threats it would be foolish. Whoever has orchestrated this must possess immense power and influence. Hopefully we will soon have answer to whoever it is. In the meantime, I want you to know I have postponed the rest of the festivities until this crime is brought to justice.”

“Thank you.” He said, though in truth he did not feel any thanks. For the first time in his life, Arthur felt that justice would not be enough to make up for what he had lost.

They descended a set of stairs. The lower they went the darker and colder the air around them became. That must have been what set Arthur’s instincts on edge. Yet even his own dungeon didn’t bring as much of a sense of foreboding.

“This way,” Lot said as he took a left at the bottom of the stairs.

Arthur pressed his sweating palm against his sword just to feel it at his side. King Lot led him to the cell at the farthest part of the hallway. A single torch from outside the cell lit up the two guards standing in front of him. The cell itself was too crowded with darkness to see the person inside. All Arthur could make out was a quiet pitiful sob coming from the prisoner.

“We were able to track the poison the kitchen maid used to this man. He is a young apprentice to our city’s head herbalist.” One of the guards reported.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know!” Based on the high sound of the person’s voice, Arthur suspected the guard wasn’t exaggerating when he said young apprentice. Arthur took one of the torches from the wall and held it close enough to see inside. A boy, barely fourteen winters looked up at him with thick streaks of tears smeared down his soot stained face. “Have mercy!” He begged.

The kid looked like he had been roughed up by the guards already. Even if the boy was guilty, even if he might have information that could lead to Merlin’s killer, that was no reason for a prisoner to be mistreated. If they were his own men, Arthur would have had both guards punished and suspended, but instead all he could do was glare at them.

“I would like to speak with the prisoner alone,” Arthur said to King Lot.

Lot gave an understanding nod and signaled for his men to follow him farther down the hall. Arthur waited until they were out of sight before leaning down. “What is your name?”

“I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt! I didn’t know. I swear. I swear.” He sobbed out in answer. “Just don’t hurt me. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

Arthur had seen it all when it came to prisoners. He knew how to spot lies and acts, and this was not one. This was a scared boy. “I’m not going to hurt you. No one is going to hurt you again. Now please, tell me your name.”

“Philip, sir.”

“Philip, I am King Arthur.”

“Of Camelot?” The boy asked.

“Yes.”

“You’re the one they said I poisoned, but I didn’t. I swear! I didn’t have anything to do with the potion.”

“Alright,” Arthur kept his voice calm as he could tell the boy was panicking again. “If you’re telling me the truth, and you didn’t have anything to do with this, then just give me what information you know, then I’ll speak to King Lot about your release.”

“But I don’t know anything! I swear!”

“I think you know a lot more than you think.” Arthur said. “Just, lets start easy. Tell me what you usually do for the herbalist.”

The boy nodded. “I…I’ve been apprenticing with Master Mattias, the herbalist, for only a few weeks. He was friends with my father when they were young, so he agreed to take me on for like a trail period. I…I just watch. I never make the potions and poultices myself. I wouldn’t even know how, they’re all so complicated and I’m always missing steps when he quizzes me. Pretty sure he’d ready to send me home soon because I’m so useless, but he likes having me to run the store.”

“I understand. So you didn’t make the potion then. Do you know where the potion you sold to the maid came from? Did your master make it?”

“I guess.” The boy wiped at his eyes. “He must have, but I didn’t see him do it. When I arrived in the morning it was sitting on the counter with a note that a maid from the royal kitchens would pick it up. I was just following his orders, sir. I didn’t know anything about the potion!”

“Was that usual for your master? Did he often leave notes with instructions?”

“Not…not really. He knows I don’t read too well, so usually he tells me things. But he’s been so busy lately with his new lady friend he probably didn’t have time so he—”

Arthur didn’t now why, but he latched onto that. His instincts screaming that he was heading in the right direction. “New lady friend?”

“Yeah!” The boy seemed to be in his own element, ready to gossip about what he’d seen instead of cowering for once. “He’s a really pretty lady. She’s been coming round the shop for the last few days and she and the Master and aways talking in the back room. Said she was interested in his work and Master Mattias loves to show off to the ladies.”

“When you say the last few days, can you be exact?”

“It was…” he tilted his head back a moment as if in thought. “Three days ago. Yeah, three! I remembers because it was the day he sent me out herb picking all afternoon.”

Three days ago was exactly the day Merlin had seen the vision of his death. If this woman was the catalyst, it made sense her actions would have led to Merlin’s vision.

“Can you describe this woman to me? Any detail will help.”

He scratched at the side of his temple. “Well, she was real pretty. Like real pretty, like a noble lady, but her hair was all black and messy. Like curly messy so she had to pull it back from her face. When I saw her, she had this dark cloak. She was sorta tall, but slender like.”

The picture this boy was starting to paint became more and more undeniable with each descriptor. “Morgana.” He whispered. It could only be Morgana. He would know the description of his own sister anywhere.

Still it made no sense. Morgana had been silent for years. She’d made no move or threat against Camelot. Some part of Arthur had even hoped that maybe the peace between them might one day lead to forgiveness on both sides. He’d been a fool. A hopeless fool to think she would put aside her evil ways.

She must have allowed herself to fade into the background waiting for them to lower their guard. And once Arthur thought happiness was finally within his grasp, she had struck at his very heart.

Everything was starting to make so much sense now. The vision, the bandit attack, the poison, the magical assassins. It had Morgana written all over it.

The look of utter loathing and hatred on his face must have scared Philip, as he was once more crawling into the back of the cell. Arthur forced his face to calm. “Forgive me. You did well. I will be sure that King Lot will release you. You’ve given me everything I need to find the real culprit.”

Philip relaxed, but there was still a frown on his face. “She hurt someone, didn’t she?”

“Yes, Philip. She hurt someone very dear to me.” Morgana had taken Merlin from him. Just as she had taken his own father. Arthur would never forgive her now. “But I will not rest until I make her pay.

Chapter Text

“Morgana?”

Merlin had followed Arthur as he interviewed the young boy, Philip. He’d heard everything and could see why Arthur would have come to that conclusion, but it didn’t make sense.

Not to say that Morgana hadn’t come after them before. She was capable of all sorts of trickery, deception, and violence. But this. No, it just didn’t seem like Morgana.

Morgana had always had two motives behind her attacks: vengeance against Uther and her desire to protect magic. Neither of which had been a problem in years. After Uther’s death, Morgana had mostly backed off. There had been a few minor schemes she’d put in place, but nothing that Merlin hadn’t been able to handle on his own. Then, a year ago, when Arthur had permanently legalized magic, even those had suddenly stopped. She had left them in peace for quite a while.

Why would she come after them now? There was no clear motive. And even if she had, Morgana would have dramatically unveiled herself after successfully killing Merlin, not remain hidden.

Something about all of this just didn’t sit right with him. But Arthur, in his grief, didn’t seem to be thinking twice about the situation.

After he finished interviewing the boy, he marched straight back to King Lot who had been waiting for him outside.

“What did you find out?” Lot asked Arthur.

“The boy is innocent. An unwitting pawn in my sister’s cruel game.” Arthur sneered.

“Your sister? The sorceress Morgana?” Lot asked.

“Yes. I must find her. We leave immediately” Arthur was already striding back towards their chambers and the other knights.

Lot was quick to follow. “Arthur, I understand your need for urgency, but I fear you are being hasty. If Morgana succeeded in taking Lord Merlin’s life, her magic may be too much for you. Not to mention it could be a trap.”

While Merlin thought it was very sweet and endlessly noble of Arthur to wish to avenge his death, Lot was right that it was also incredibly stupid. “Come on, Clotpole, I thought I taught you better than that.” Merlin couldn’t help but chide even though he knew Arthur couldn’t hear him. “Besides, I’m not entirely sold on Morgana being the culprit here so maybe you should slow down there.”

Even if Arthur had heard him, in the state he was in now, Merlin doubted he would have listened. Arthur was out for blood, and nothing was going to get in his way.

“Doesn’t matter.” Arthur snapped. “There’s no telling what she could be doing with Merlin’s body right now. I swore I would protect him, even in death, I will not let her hurt him anymore than she already has.”

Watching Arthur march off with unprecedented speed, Merlin couldn’t help but feel frustrated that there was nothing he could do to stop his love. For more than the first time he cursed being a ghost. He was nothing more than a spectator watching the love of his life run full speed straight towards a cliff.

There had to be something he could do. He had done extensive research on ghosts and knew that there were some that found a way to manipulate the physical plane. Though all the theories on how were nothing more than speculation. So far, he’d been unable to interact in any way.

Maybe if he—

Merlin collapsed. His whole body suddenly felt like it winked in and out of existence. A scorching heat seared through him like his very skin was on fire. Only that made no sense as he didn’t have skin anymore. He couldn’t hold back the scream that tore from his very soul.

What was happening?

Instinctively, his hand clutched at his chest as if he could somehow hold himself together.

Then as suddenly as the sensation poured over him, it was gone. Once again, he felt detached from any feeling as he stood alone in the hallway.

“Okay. That was not good.” He said as he attempted to right himself. Though he was aware that that was the understatement of understatements. Whatever had caused that was very bad.

Merlin hoped that wasn’t the start of his spirit slipping away. He couldn’t leave now. Arthur was still in danger. Weren’t ghosts supposed to remain until they completed their unfinished business? The books had been very clear on that. Then again, Merlin had never been a normal person, so he wasn’t very likely to be a normal ghost.

But he didn’t have time to dwell on that.

During his little episode, it seemed that Arthur and Lot had gotten away from him. Great, how was he supposed to find Arthur now?

He didn’t remember taking a single step forward, his thoughts were so heavy with Arthur that from one moment to the next he was just at his side. While there seemed to be some perks to being a ghost, it didn’t outweigh the challenges he was facing now.

How was he supposed to warn Arthur when he was dead?

Arthur was back in their chambers, packing his belongings. Lancelot appeared like he had been arguing with him for quite some time.

“Merlin wouldn’t want this!” Lancelot shouted.

“No, he wouldn’t. But that hardly matters now. I’m going to do this whether you agree with me or not.” Arthur said. “Should I not return, there are documents hidden in my chambers naming you and Guinevere the next rulers of my kingdom. There is no one else I could entrust it to.”

“You know, usually I would get all teary-eyed over a statement like that, but not when it precludes the fact that you only told me because you are planning for this to be a suicide mission.” Lancelot spat. “I am not letting you leave this castle without at least some form of a plan, Arthur.”

Arthur looked for a moment like he was going to fight Lancelot, but then he took a long breath and seemed to let a cooler head prevail. “Fine. But, whatever plan you want to make better be fast.”

“I think it’s time we reach out to Clio. Merlin trained her what to do in an emergency, maybe he left behind some instructions of what to do. Before you rush off to face Morgana and who knows what magic she has now amassed, let’s get her advice.”

Lancelot’s thinking was great. Merlin totally should have done that. But in Merlin’s defense, Morgana had not been on his list of potential threats for a while.

“Fine. Send a message to her with that magic parchment Merlin brought with us. But we don’t have much time to lose. An hour. If we’ve not heard back from her in an hour I am going after Morgana.

None of this was making sense, but at least for now, Arthur wasn’t going on a suicide mission. Merlin had an hour to get to the bottom of this. And it seemed there was only one person who could give him those answers.

Merlin had been able to find Arthur by thought alone, so maybe if he…

The cabin was small and lit with what seemed to be a hundred candles. Morgana sat over a large book of potions, reading a line of ingredients even as she plucked the petals from a golden flower.

Yet most surprising of all was not the simple surroundings she had found their supposed greatest nemesis in. It was the fact that she glanced up as if she could see him and blew out a sigh. “Should have known my peace wouldn’t last. Have you finally come to kill me Emrys, or should I still call you Merlin?”

“You…You can see me?” Merlin couldn’t help but stutter.

Morgana looked more annoyed than confused by his question.

“Of course I can see you. You’re standing right in front of me.”

“But I’m dead.”

He should have expected the laughing. Morgana had a sick sense of humor to laugh at him while he was literally dead. It was nearly a full five minutes before she stopped laughing long enough to breathe. “That’s a good one, Merlin.”

“But I am dead.”

This time she took the statement with a little less enthusiasm. “No you’re not.”

“Yes I am.” Merlin argued. “I saw my own body. How else would I have just transported here if I wasn’t a ghost?”

Morgana glared at him now. “Merlin, I’ve seen the dead before. You’re not dead. Your soul is separated from your body yes, which kudos, I tried that spell before and it did not go well at all, but you are not dead.”

He wasn’t…

“Oh shit.” Morgana stood from her chair. “You weren’t making a joke. You really thought you were dead.”

Merlin nodded. “But does that mean, I can get back to my body?” He could go back to Arthur, and his life.

“Yes, Merlin. You can still go back.”

Chapter Text

“Run it by me again.” Merlin ordered. “Slowly. Like I’m an idiot.”

Morgana scoffed. “I mean, you fell in love with my dull-witted half-brother so you have to be.”

Merlin glared at her. Or at least as close as glared as a ghost was capable of.

Relenting, Morgana began again. “You are not dead, or more accurately, you are not dead yet. From what I can tell your soul has been separated from your body, but it has not yet been called to the spirit world. Which is why it is currently just floating around here.”

“I understand that.” As he was sort of currently living that reality it was difficult not to. “What still doesn’t make sense is the why I haven’t moved on part.”

“Okay,” Morgana waved her hands around like that was helping at all. “You’re basically the living embodiment of magic. Both your soul and your body are imbued with so much magic that it is almost impossible to kill you. Haven’t you ever wondered why you’re called Emrys? It means immortal.”

“And how does that explain my current problem?” Merlin gestured to his ethereal form.

“The magical tether between your body and soul has not yet been severed. That’s why I can see you. If you were in fact just an ordinary ghost roaming our plane, even I would not be able to perceive or hear you without a special potion. So long as that tether remains, you should theoretically be able to return to your body. Ergo, not dead.”

If Merlin still had his body, his legs would have given out.

Then he still had a chance.

He wasn’t dead.

He could return to his body. Return to Arthur.

Real tears or not, he was crying at the sheer joy and relief that his life wasn’t over. He hadn’t broken his promise yet and left Arthur all alone. There was still a future for them filled with soft touches and warm kisses. A future of light and love.

It only made him more determined than ever to end this and get back to Arthur. Who, as they spoke was actively planning to kill his siter for Merlin’s death. Although even Merlin had been able to tell five minutes after talking to her that she had nothing to do with their current problems.

“Alright, so to recap here, my spirit has been separated from my body by a spell for some purpose, for which they needed to steal my physical body. And you are in no way involved with scheming to kill me and Arthur?”

Morgana looked disgusted that he even suggested it. “If I had wanted to bother to kill you too love birds, I would have done it months ago before you became some gay power couple. Besides, I’m more than happy living my life out here in peace and quiet.”

Merlin took a moment to really look at her and the small shack she had made into her home. It was thread bare apart from a dozen books and potion essentials. Morgana herself didn’t look much better. She was much thinner than he remembered her. Her eyes heavier. Her posture more defensive.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Happy. Here. Alone.”

For the first time since Merlin had arrived, he could see the old Morgana staring back at him. The Morgana who was a wonderfully brave young woman, who loved every minute she got to share with her friends. The Morgana who was as loyal as she was reckless. The Morgana who cared too much and wanted nothing more than to be loved back.

Then she was gone. “Perfectly happy. Which is why now that we’ve settled the whole, you’re not dead thing and I’m not trying to kill Arthur, I am washing my hands of this whole affair. So hopefully see you never, Merls. Don’t let the door go through you on the way out.” Morgana turned back to what she had been working on.

“It’s too late to back out of this. Whoever is actually behind all this has already convinced Arthur that you’re the one who killed me. And I can’t exactly communicate with him myself to tell him he’s got the wrong idea. Please, I need you, Morgana.”

If Merlin hadn’t known her for years, he might not have recognized the small twitch which told him that he was getting through to her.

“And once this is all over, you can go back to your peaceful life here with the promise that we’ll leave you alone for good. If that’s what you want.” Merlin added.

She was silent for a long time. But Merlin was patient. He waited for as long as it took for her to push out of her chair and glare at him.

“Fine. But I also want a full, public apology from Arthur for every horrible thing he’s ever done or said to me.”

Merlin couldn’t contain his smile. “I know he would be more than happy to say anything to mend what happened between you two.”

“Alright, then what do you want me to do?” Morgana asked.

“I need to be able to communicate with Arthur. Right now he’s too devastated to see any kind of reason. He has to know I’m still here. We need him back in his right mind if we’re going to figure out who is really behind this and stop their plot.”

Morgana groaned, her expression sour.

Merlin didn’t like that. “What?”

“Yes, well, the only way I would be able to do that would be to imbue him with some of my magic. Which I would need not only to touch him, but his consent to do. I really doubt a raging Arthur is going to agree to letting me use my magic on him.”

She had a good point. If Morgana even got close enough to touch him, Arthur would likely shove his sword straight through her without question.

“Then you’ll just have to convince him he can trust you first.” Merlin said, like that would be easy. But before she could protest further, he continued. “I’ll be right next to you.”

“Why does that not inspire me with any confidence?”

With Merlin’s new little ability to move across space with nothing more than a thought, it was easy enough to track down Arthur. It had surprisingly been less than an hour by the time Merlin returned to his side. He was still sitting alone in his chambers, waiting for the agreed upon time when he would go after Morgana.

He looked so exhausted. Merlin figured that he probably hadn’t slept since their first night in Essetir. It was like what happened with Rolan all over again. It was only a few weeks after Rolan’s execution that Arthur had admitted he hadn’t slept for nearly 3 days. Merlin guessed he was nearing that same length now.

When all this was over, he was going to ensure he and Arthur had a whole week uninterrupted where he wouldn’t let Arthur leave the bed. Then again, he doubted when all this was over that Arthur was even going to let Merlin out of his sight ever again.

But even through his exhaustion, Arthur appeared ready for battle. He was dressed out in his full armor, Excalibur at his side. He was ready to march after Morgana.

There was no way to warn Arthur that Morgana was coming to him.

Tracking Merlin’s magic, as thin as the tendril was, Morgana appeared in the room almost immediately after Merlin. Though she had been silent as she entered, Arthur must have sensed something as he whirled around to face her.

Surprise flashed across his eyes but was quickly overshadowed by pure rage.

“Morgana!” Merlin hadn’t even finished shouting her name before Arthur lunged to attack.

Morgana had had the foresight to pull up a shield as soon as she entered the room and was able to block him. But Arthur was out for blood.

“You killed him!” Arthur shouted in a voice that didn’t sound like his own.

He didn’t let up…

“You took him from me!”

…landing strike after strike after strike after strike in a wild rage.

“YOU KILLED HIM!”

Morgana never let her shield fall, “I didn’t do it, Arthur,” but nor did she fight back. “I didn’t hurt him.”

Her words might has well have been screamed into a void for the attention Arthur paid them. At least until, “he’s not dead, Arthur. Merlin’s not dead!”

That finally brought his wild attack to a halt. Not because he appeared to believe a word she said, but because she had enraged him beyond action.

Merlin had seen every emotion Arthur had ever hidden from the world. He had seen him at his most open, his most vulnerable, and still nothing compared to the devastation on Arthur’s face. He looked like a man who had watched the whole world burn before him and carried the guilt of survival. “How. Dare. You. How dare you lie to me. He died in my arms. I held his lifeless body. I tried to breathe air into his cold lips. I screamed into his cold skin begging him to come back to me, and you dare say he’s not dead.”

“Oh, Arthur.” Merlin couldn’t stand to see him like this. Even as nothing more than a spirit, Merlin rushed to him, wrapping himself around Arthur’s shaking frame as if he could some how hold this man together.

Morgana was surprisingly gentle as she spoke again. “I know can’t even imagine, Arthur. But I swear to you, on the blood we share, that Merlin is still here. His body is in stasis, but he is still here. He’s standing behind you right now.”

Surprisingly, Arthur lowered his sword as if he were considering her statement. “He…is?”

Sensing that she was getting through to him, she nodded.

But Arthur still seemed doubtful. “Prove it, then. Prove to me he’s here.”

She held out a single hand. “If you will allow me to use my magic on you, I can allow you to see—”

“No.” Arthur stepped back. “Not until you prove that he’s even here at all.”

Now Morgana was staring right past him at Merlin. “See, I told you he would be stubborn about it. Stupid Pendragon blood.”

Arthur gave her a confused look before frowning. “You can talk to him?”

“Yes.” Morgana confirmed.

“And he’s here. Now.”

“I already told you that. Are you convinced, then?”

“If you can talk to him. And he’s really here. Then tell me something only Merlin would know.”

Morgana looked at Merlin expectantly.

Something only Merlin would know? Merlin could live a thousand years, and he would never know why he said what he did. There were dozens of things he could have chosen to say. Like the fact that Arthur likes to curl his cold toes into Merlin’s calf in the middle of the night. Or that he secretly likes to sing when he takes a bath. Instead, he shouted out, “Arthur was a virgin when we slept together for the first time!”

Look, he just panicked, okay.

But rather than communicate that little secret, Morgana just burst into laughter. She was laughing so hard she barely appeared to be breathing. “He was a what?”

To Arthur, Merlin suspected Morgana looked sort of mad randomly laughing like that. “What the hell did he say?”

“He said—”

“No! Don’t repeat it! Pretend you didn’t hear that. I didn’t say that.” Whenever he got back to his body Arthur was going to kill him all over again for that slip up.

Composing himself once again, Merlin started again. “Tell him that he first told me he loved me kneeling at my feet.” Morgana repeated everything he said. “I had been injured by Rolan, and he was so gentle and patient as he cleaned and dressed the wound for me. I couldn’t believe what he was doing for me, so I asked him why. Why he continued to trust a lowly servant who had spent his whole life lying to him. And he said so simply ‘because I love you’. It broke my heart to hear him say that, because then I didn’t believe I was worthy of love. But he proved to me otherwise. And I asked him if it was okay for me to love him back. He said yes and we kissed for the first time.”

By the time Morgana was done, tears were leaking down Arthur face. But this time they weren’t tears of sorrow. They were tears of joy. “Merlin.”

Arthur didn’t fight as Morgana stepped closer. He didn’t move when she placed a hand on him and her magic flowed into him.

Merlin knew immediately the moment Arthur could see him. His eyes lit up the way they always did when Arthur looked at him. “Merlin!”

“Hey clotpole. Did you miss me?”

His legs gave out from under him and he collapsed onto his knees. Merlin fell right there beside them. Though they could not touch, they reached for each other.

“You’re really here?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not dead.”

“Not completely.”

“You didn’t leave me.”

“No, Arthur. Never.”

“You came back.”

“Always.”

It was hard to tell how long they sat there like that. But eventually Merlin began to fill Arthur in on what he had learned, both from his time as a spirit and from Morgana.

“Whoever is behind this must have a hell of a lot of power, knowledge, and resources.” Arthur concluded.

“Agreed,” Merlin said. “I think we need to gather the knights and—”

Out of nowhere, Merlin suddenly felt a choking pain. It was the same strange sensation that had come over him earlier that day.

“Merlin!” Arthur sounded panicked. “What’s happening?”

He didn’t know. He couldn’t breathe enough to answer. All he could do was clutch at his best.

“Morgana! What’s happening to him?”

“Oh, shit! He’s—”

Merlin never got to hear what she was going to say.

Like when he had traveled to Morgana, the room disappeared around him and he was suddenly in a different place. Only this place was unlike any he had ever seen before in his life.

The space around him was dark and shapeless. But it wasn’t that which horrified him the most. It was the figure standing before him. One that he had thought he would only ever see again in his nightmares.

“I told you, Merlin.” Rolan said with a wide smile. “You would never be able to escape me.”

Chapter Text

“Merlin!” Arthur’s hands reached towards the place where Merlin had been mere moments ago.

After spending a day thinking he would never see or hear Merlin again, his sudden disappearance had sent him into a panic. His stomach tripped with a new anxiety he didn’t know how to manage. “Morgana? What’s happening?”

It didn’t make him feel any better that Morgana looked just as confused and panicked as he felt.

“I’m not sure,” she said even as her eyes sparked gold. She appeared as if she were looking through the very air around them, searching for something. Arthur recognized the moment she found what she was looking for, and when he turned, he was surprised to see the tiniest tendril of a golden thread. “His tether is still here but…”

She didn’t have to say anything more. Arthur could see it was flickering the same way Merlin had before he disappeared.

“It’s weak. He’s been separated from his body for too long. I don’t think it can hold him on this plane for much longer.”

That was unacceptable. They had just been given the possibility of a second chance and Arthur was not going to lose it. “No. I’m not losing him. Tell me what to do.”

Morgana frowned at him, pressing her fingers into her wild hair. “I don’t know. It’s not like there is any precedent for this situation. Maybe if we…” then it was as if a thought struck her. “There tendril is still strong enough to keep him anchored to his body, just not enough to draw him back from the worlds beyond. If we can call Merlin back here, we should still have a few hours to return him to his body.”

“Oh sure. That’s easy enough. Just call Merlin’s spirit back from where ever the hell it is.” Arthur snapped. “And tell me, how exactly are we supposed to do that?”

“There are a number of rituals and magical items that would do the trick, but at the moment I’m sort of short of those. So we’re going to have to do this the old fashion way.” She looked straight into Arthur’s eyes. “Call him.”

“How? I have no magic.”

“You don’t need magic. You’re his soulmate, true love, whatever you want to call it. Just call for him with your heart.”

Not wanting to waste another second arguing, Arthur closed his eyes and focused on his rapidly beating heart. He thought about all the things he loved about Merlin, about all the memories they shared that made his heart sing, he thought about the deep intimacies they’d shared, and the soft quiet touches that lingered eternal, and he spoke his name. “Merlin. Come back to me.”

He felt a warm breeze sweep through the room, and Merlin’s spirit reformed before his eyes. Arthur thought he could cheer with joy just for having Merlin back in front of him. The two minutes he had been gone were nothing compared to the almost twenty hours they had done without each other.

However the expression on Merlin’s face quashed any sense of joy he’d had with worry. “Merlin? What happened? Are you alright?”

Merlin looked at his surroundings for a moment, and it was only when he saw Arthur that he allowed himself to uncurl from the defensive stance he’d been in. More than anything Arthur wanted to reach out and sooth, but he knew he couldn’t touch his love yet.

“Oh thank the gods. I thought I was going to be trapped there forever.” Merlin half sobbed, “with him.”

There was only one person that Merlin reacted to with such fear. One human who had tormented Merlin so much that Arthur had rid the earth of him. Arthur should have thought that it was a possibility that his soul lay beyond.

“Rolan.” Arthur didn’t bother to ask, but Merlin’s nod confirmed it.

“It—” Merlin’s voice cracked, even as he actively seemed to be trying to pull himself together. He swallowed, closed his eyes for a second before continuing. “It was pure black. There was nothing, nothing except for him.”

“Did he touch you?”

Arthur didn’t care if the man was a spirit, or in a world beyond. If he had laid another hand on Merlin, he would find a way to obliterate the man’s soul from any form of existence.

Merlin shook his head. “No, you called me back before he could. But he… he said that soon I would be trapped there with him forever.” His eyes then turned to Morgana. “I thought you said that as long as I was tethered to my body I would remain in this world. How did I get thrown into the spirit world? And for that matter, what did you do to bring me back?”

“From what you described I don’t think you were in the spirit world, but perhaps a space in-between.” Morgana explained.

“And you just happen to know what the space in between the living and the spirit world looks like?” Merlin asked with his arms crossed.

Arthur had to admit, he wouldn’t have caught that little slip up, but suddenly he was staring at his sister with new eyes.

“You also said to me before that you had tried a spell that allowed you to separate your soul from your body, and you knew all about the tether.” Merlin added. “Why do you know so much about all this?”

It had been years since Arthur had seen so much sorrow and fear cross his sister’s face. She didn’t look at either of them as she confessed the truth. “Did you ever wonder why I never came back to Camelot to enact my revenge after Morgause died? Because certain types of magic die along with the one who cast it. It was only after she was gone that I realized the extent to which she had used magic to lead me to follow her. Not to say that what I did wasn’t wrong or my fault, but… so many decisions that had once seemed like my own were suddenly abhorrent to my conscience. Yet still I couldn’t believe that she would…”

Arthur walked over to pull her into a hug. She turned her face into his shoulder, but he didn’t need to see her eyes to feel the tears there. “I had to see her, just for a few moments. I had to hear from her what she had done to me.”

“I’m so sorry, Morgana. We should have seen it.”

“I was the one who blindly followed her. I have no one to blame but myself for trusting her. And I was still the one who did all those things and I am the one who must make amends.”

Petting her hair, Arthur kissed the top of her head. “There will be plenty of time for amends, and forgiveness my sister. But I fear right now, we are short on time.”

Arthur was right. Their time was slipping away as they spoke. “I will summon the knights. It’s time we got to the bottom of the one behind this plot. We will put an end to them, find Merlin’s body, and return him to it.”

Merlin tentatively raised his hand like a boy in a classroom. “You do have an idea how to return me to my body, right?”

“Should be as easy as guiding you back into your body through your tether.” Morgana said with far too much emphasis on the word should.

“I will leave you two to discuss that farther and I will have all the knights meet us in here. Morgana, would it be possible for you to give the ability of sight to all the knights?” Arthur questioned.

“I should be able to give them a small sample of magic, as I did you so they could see Merlin as well.”

“Just be prepared for all of them to react to you the same way as Arthur did.” Merlin said with a laugh.

Though he’d been spot on. Even when Arthur had given each of his knights clear warning, they still reached for their weapons first at the sight of Morgana. Yet it went to show how trustworthy a leader Arthur was that each of them let the enemy turned ally touch them. And it was worth it for the tears they shed at the sight of their friend’s spirit again.

“I knew you were too powerful to be killed so easily.” Lancelot cried even as he shouted. “Don’t you dare scare us like that again.”

“I am so glad I don’t have to tell Gwen you’re gone. Pretty sure my sister would have found a way to summon the god of the dead and given him an earful if he didn’t let you come back.” Elyan joked.

Percival gave him his usual quiet smile that said a hell of a lot more than mere words ever could.

Once everyone had said their words of relief that Merlin was still mostly alive, Arthur brought them all back to the situation at hand. “Alright, it’s time we uncover the real perpetrator. All of our most recent evidence has pointed straight at Morgana, but we now know that she was not involved.”

“But someone went to a lot of trouble to ensure that you thought Morgana was to blame at least enough to go after her.” Merlin pointed out. “The two of you might have killed each other if I hadn’t—”

“Wait.” Lancelot cut Merlin off. “Maybe that was the point.” Everyone turned to look at him. “Maybe they wanted Arthur and Morgana to kill each other from the beginning. And what better way to do it than frame her for murder, and Merlin’s murder at that. Whoever put this plan together would have taken out three of the most powerful figures in the world in one move.”

Elyan scratched his head. “But why aim for all three of them. I can understand wanting to get rid of any one of them individually. Merlin is basically the king of the magical world. Arthur is the very heart and ruler of Camelot. Morgana is the most powerful sorcerous. What do they all have in common?”

They all thought in silence for a moment before Percival said. “The throne. Camelot’s throne. The three of them are the only ones with a legitimate claim. Both Arthur and Morgana have Pendragon blood. Merlin, even though you and Arthur are not married, your position as court sorcerer places you as next in line for the throne in terms of rank.”

Merlin snorted. “Yeah right. There have to be half a dozen people higher in position than.”

Arthur blushed a little when Merlin looked at him. Technically Merlin would have been right, at least based on laws from before Arthur became king. But after giving Merlin the position, one of the first things he’d done was raise the rank of Court Sorcerer to be high enough that only his own came above it. Though he hadn’t really considered then that would also make him by succession of power next in line.

Oopse.

It really didn’t matter now.

“So it must be someone who would want the throne of Camelot. Or think they would be capable of taking it for themselves once they had all three of us out of the way.” Arthur concluded.

“They also would have to have a lot of power to be able to fake all the evidence against Morgana.”

All eyes met Arthurs. It seemed everyone was in agreement.

There was only one person who could be behind all of this. One person who could have orchestrated it all from the beginning. One person who had been in the position to manipulate the investigation wherever he wanted.

Lot.

King Lot.

Chapter Text

It was difficult to travel with a king, a sorceress, three knights, and a ghost (though Merlin guessed no one really saw him as a ghost) without looking like a raiding party. All the servants and other guests moved out of their way without a word, avoiding making eye contact with them.

With a simple tracking spell that Morgana had cast, there was no need for them to question anyone about Lot’s whereabouts.

Merlin was still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that it had been Lot this whole time. He had seemed like such a kind king. After Rolan’s attack, he had not only been supportive, but sympathetic to the situation. The man had taken the throne from the tyrant that had ruled Essetir before. He had changed the laws to protect the people, make Essetir safe from foreign raiders, and even improved their economy so villages like the one Merlin had grown up in, never would go hungry again.

How had a good man done so much evil?

Or why would an evil man do so much good?

To lure them in? To trick the people?

The small violent chain of magic that they had been following sparked, letting them know that they were getting close.

Merlin had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t realized they’d entered Lot’s private wing of the palace. An entire wing that was empty of any guards or servants. Even though Merlin couldn’t feel anything he swore he sensed a dark chill in the air.

“Everyone remain close,” Morgana said. “There is magic here, and it is darker than any I have encountered before.”

Dark magic.

There were tales of old, terrifying bedtimes stories children would tell each other that Essetir had once been the birthplace of dark magic. That the first wizard to turn towards the darkness had come from their kingdom. Merlin had always dismissed it as nothing more than a child’s tale, but now he was starting to wonder what truth may have been lurking underneath.

In a battle formation, the group moved farther into the wing, following Morgana’s magic chain as it shimmered and sparked brighter. Then, in a large flash of light, it vanished.

Everyone turned to Morgana in confusion.

“I thought you said the spell would last until it led us to Lot?” Arthur asked.

“It was supposed to. It’s never failed me before.”

They were standing in what might have once been a large library. Except it didn’t take long for Merlin to realize that the books on these shelves were not ordinary books. These were tomes of dark magic. Merlin could feel the sick power emanating from them. Morgana must have noticed the same thing.

“No wonder how he was about to use such strange magic. These books have been lost for generations. To think all this time they were being hidden here.” Morgana said.

Elyan frowned at her. “That still doesn’t explain anything to me.”

“These books are all marked with the powers of the ancient ones. Likely the remnants of dark wizards who passed on generations ago. With the amount of magic in these, you wouldn’t even require your own to cast spells, or make potions, or create curses.” Morgana explained. With a flick of her wrist, a book flew of the shelf and straight into her hand. It opened itself and flipped open to a page. “A spell to mold a fake prophecy.”

“That must have been how he sent that dream to me and made me think they were after Arthur,” Merlin said.

“No,” Elyan interrupted. “What I meant was it still doesn’t explain to me why your spell cut out.”

“I don’t think it did.” Merlin said. He had begun to float higher and higher to get a better view of the whole library, and now he could see that they had been closer to Lot than any of them realized.

Merlin pointed behind the bookshelf they were all standing in front of. They walked around and were finally able to see what Merlin had.

King Lot and Prince Gareth both lay on the ground in a pile of blood. There was a gaping wound in both of their sides.

“By the gods,” Lancelot whispered.

King Lot flinched.

He was still alive.

Arthur hurried forward, lifting him enough to meet his eye. “What the hell is going on Lot?”

The man coughed, blood coated his lips, but it seemed he still had enough life in him to sneer. “It was all going according to plan. I was so close, to having the power to rule all the lands.”

“Really? You’re plan included being stabbed and left for dead?” Morgana said from behind.

If Merlin had been corporeal, he would have elbowed her.

“What plan?” Arthur demanded.

Lot said nothing more. It seemed he had no intention of revealing anything else.

Merlin knew Arthur well enough to know he wouldn’t let the man die so long as he was the only one with answers. “Tell us the truth and Morgana will heal you.”

Lot turned suspicious eyes on Morgana, but with a huff and a shrug she agreed.

“What plan, Lot?” Arthur repeated.

“To take Lord Merlin’s magic.”

Merlin jolted. Take his magic. That had been what they were after.

Arthur seemed to have the same questions as Merlin did. “And killing him was part of that plan? How did killing Merlin get you his magic?”

Lot coughed again. “We realized when Rolan failed to control him using the blood bond, that so long as Merlin’s soul existed, his magic would never be turned against you and Camelot. So the only way to take Merlin’s magic was to banish his soul.”

So it was just as Morgana had said. They hadn’t meant to kill him. They had been aiming to separate his soul from his body. But that still didn’t answer how they planned to access his magic.

Merlin as a complicated being. He was literally made of magic. No one had idea what that meant, least of all Merlin. Though his current state proved that even without his soul inhabiting his body, some magic remained there.

“That’s why you stole his body,” Arthur realized. “You needed it to gain access to his magic.”

“It doesn’t work like that.” Morgana interjected. “Merlin’s magic might be a part of his body, but if his soul isn’t inside to control it no one would be able to use it.”

“That is not quite true.” Lot said. Though his voice was growing weaker with every word he spoke. “It didn’t have to be Merlin’s soul. Any soul would do.”

Morgana stared at him in horror. “You didn’t. You dared to play with such powers.”

“Morgana, what is he talking about?” Lancelot interrupted.

“They banished Merlin’s soul to put another in his place. But to do that, they would need a dead soul to place inside him. They would have had to invoke the gods of the underworld.”

Lot reached out to Gareth’s cold body. “It was supposed to be my son. I was going to give my heir the power to control all of Albion.”

The thought that anyone would abuse his power like that made Merlin sick. Looking at the scene now, Merlin could see what must have happened. There were chains on the table, chains that likely had been used to hold down his body. Besides them had been a small alter filled with dark things that must have been used to invoke a spirit. And there was blood on Lot’s hands, blood that was not his own. In order to place his son’s soul in Merlin’s body, he would have had to kill his child with his own two hands.

Merlin couldn’t understand how anyone could be so twist.

“Only the ritual didn’t work, did it.” Morgana said. “Because idiotic power-hungry men like you have no right evoking the ancient gods.”

She was right, but Merlin couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very wrong with this picture. Because if she was right, if the ritual hadn’t worked, what had happened to his body?

“But it d..did work.” His breathing was too labored now. “But it was..was not m..my son who—”

The whole castle shook as lightning exploded across the ceiling above them. Arthur leapt to his feet, sword in hand. The knights arming themselves as Morgana threw up a defense spell to keep the falling debris from smashing them.

In the center of the room amid a cloud of evil aura stood Merlin’s body. The eyes glowed a crimson red. Lot had been right. His son’s soul had not been the one who now inhabited Merlin’s body. Even if Merlin had not been able to sense his dark twisted soul, he would have recognized that smile from anywhere.

Rolan stared straight at him. “Hello, Merlin. I told you; you would never be able to escape me and now.” Rolan grabbed the dying sliver of thread that connected him to his body. “You are mine.”

Chapter Text

Arthur reached for Merlin on instinct. A sick cold stab hit his chest as his fingers swiped through his hand and he watched Merlin’ spirit be dragged into Rolan’s waiting arms.

In the days and weeks after the first time Rolan had come into their lives, Arthur had had nightmares of this exact scenario. That someone Rolan rose again from the dead and took Merlin away from him. That Merlin once again had to suffer the touch of a man who had abused him and there was nothing Arthur could do to stop it.

Only this was no dream. This was real, and Arthur’s heart could not take the fear in his lover’s eyes. He had called Merlin to his side and away from Rolan before, and that had been between realms. With all his heart, he called to Merlin and whatever magic Rolan had used to take him broke.

Merlin’s spirit appeared right next to Arthur, and when Rolan tried to summon him again, Merlin didn’t budge.

“Thank you,” he whispered to Arthur.

But there was no time for a reunion, or even to breathe. The moment Rolan realized that he could no longer call Merlin’s spirit to him his magic fumed.

Arthur had seen the extent of Merlin’s magic a time or two. When he’d walked in to find him fighting Rolan. When they’d decimated the slave traders’ compound on the far end of the continent. But even then, that massive power had been tempered by Merlin’s heart. It had still been in control, not a single stray tendril hurting the innocents around him.

This was pure chaos and rage. The shelves of books surrounding them had been blown to rumble and now flew around the room like projectiles. Stray bolts of lightning struck at the knights causing them all to duck and dive to keep from being hurt. But Rolan’s madness was building along with the magic. His whole body was marked by crimson red light that looked like cracks in the earth.

Rolan was destroying Merlin’s body with his own magic.

But no one dared attack him. Everyone was forced to find any piece of solid furniture to hide behind or risk being skewered.

“What? Not going to fight back?” Rolan taunted.

“They might not,” Morgana was the only one still standing. “But I will.”

“Morgana!” Arthur warned as he watched his sister gather a powerful ball of magic in her palm.

“Relax. I know better than to harm your precious Merlin. This is soul magic. The only thing it’s going to hurt is whoever this prick is.” Morgana threw the ball and sure enough, like she said, no damage appeared on Merlin’s body, but he screeched with pain.

“No! You can’t fight him with magic.” Merlin warned too late. “You’ll only—”

Even as he screamed, Rolan clutched Morgana’s ball of energy and plucked it from his core and threw it right back at her.

That single strike was enough to knock Morgana unconscious. Her body unable to fight the pain of her own spell. Though before she’d fallen, she’d had enough strength left to throw a containing spell at him. It would only hold for a few minutes, but she had given the rest of them the time they had not had before.

“Fuck,” Lancelot said from behind some fallen bookshelf next to Arthur. “Merlin, exactly how strong is your magic.”

“Limitless.” Merlin answered. “My body like my soul is pure magic.”

“And how are we supposed to fight pure magic?” Elyan shouted.

“We can’t.” Even though he was only a spirit, there were tears in Merlin’s eyes.

Arthur knew that whatever was going on in Merlin’s head was not good. “What are you thinking, Merlin?”

“There’s only one way to stop him.” Merlin didn’t even look at Arthur when he said it. He instead was looking at Lancelot. “Do you still have that potion I gave you?”

Lancelot blanched. “No. You can’t ask that of me.”

“You already promised.” Merlin argued. “Any second now Rolan is going to break free, and he is going to kill every single one of you with my magic and my body. Then he’s going to use the dark ritual that Lot found to bind my soul to a body of his choosing. And then he’ll take over the world. I am not going to let that happen. I’m telling you right now, Lance, that potion is our only option.”

“What potion?” Arthur demanded.

Neither of them had to answer. The look of devastation that they both gave him told him enough. Yet still the words that came out of Lancelot’s mouth were like flaming arrows. “It’s a magic stripping potion Merlin made in case of an emergency. It will strip all his magic.”

Merlin had just said both his body and his soul were made of magic. If this potion stripped him of it, not only would he die, but there also wouldn’t even be a soul left to find in the afterlife. Merlin was not just offering to die to save them, he was going to sacrifice his soul’s very existence.

If Lancelot unleashed that potion on Merlin’s body, Arthur would never see him again. Not in this world or the next.

“Hand me the potion, Lancelot.” Arthur’s voice was deathly cold as he ordered it.

Merlin appeared to sigh in relief that Arthur was willing to take it. He was smiling sadly at Arthur, “I’m sorry, Arthur. I wanted to spend eternity loving you, but I guess destiny always planned for us to end in tragedy.” His ghostly hand reached out to brush Arthur’s cheek. “But if the only thing I ever accomplished in this world was loving you, saving you, then it was worth everything.”

Arthur stared into Merlin’s eyes, lifting up the potion and threw it out the broken window.

“What are you doing!” Merlin’s spirit raced after it, but it was already gone. “Arthur, that was the only way we—”

“NO!” Arthur was fuming. He had never been so pissed off in his life. Pissed at Rolan and his obsessive abuse. Pissed at Lancelot and hid overly noble devotion that he would even take a potion like that. Pissed at Merlin was his stupid self-sacrificing ways that Arthur would be ridding him off as soon as this was over. Pissed at himself for letting it come to this. Even pissed at the universe that seemed determined to test their devotion. “I have already had to hold your dead body in my arms one too many times in this life. There is no way in fucking hell that I will let you use a potion on yourself that could likely destroy your very soul!”

Merlin at least had the sense to look guilty for having suggested it.

Arthur knew he could not touch him, but he didn’t care. He pulled on the tether of true love between them and it felt like Merlin’s whole essence was caressing him. “You are the greatest sorcerer that has ever lived. You have saved my ass and the lives of every member of Camelot a dozen times over. In all the world there is no one smarter or more clever than you. So fucking come up with another idea, or so help me, I will follow your soul myself into oblivion!”

“And you think I can just make up some other way to save everyone on command?”

“You better, and we’ve got—”

No time. There was no time left. Rolan had broken free.

Lance sighed. “Well, we’ll hold off Rolan as long as we can, but we really don’t have time for you guys to have a couple’s spat.” Rallying the other knights, they launched an attack to keep Rolan distracted as long as they were able.

Merlin had trained each one of them to fight against magical attacks, so all three knew what they were doing. But there wouldn’t be much time.

“Arthur, I really don’t know what we can do to stop him!” Merlin panicked as he watched his brothers go to fight for them both.

“Just look at me,” Arthur said, “we’re in this together, no matter what. So come on. You can do it.”

Arthur saw the moment the idea hit him. “You’re a genius!”

“What?”

“We do this together. That’s what you said. I’m not sure if this will work, and it’s not going to be comfortable for either of us, but no matter what happens next, we’ll be together.” Merlin promised. “You just have to trust me.”

“Always.”

“Pull on our string again, pull as hard as you can, Arthur, and open your soul to me.” Merlin instructed.

That was easy enough. Arthur’s soul wasn’t complete without Merlin’s. He pulled on the string and a gold light suddenly enveloped him, filling in all the cracks that had been left empty with Merlin’s death.

It was only as Merlin’s presence once again caressed the deepest recesses of him, the parts of him that were so deep he didn’t know they existed that Arthur realized what he had done.

Their souls were together inside Arthur’s body.

The sensation was stranger than anything Arthur had ever experienced in his life. There was no pain, Merlin’s presence could never cause pain. But it was definitely disconcerting when he didn’t have full control over his own body. Neither of them quite had full control over Arthur’s body.

We have to act together. Merlin’s voice whispered in the back of his mind.

Alright. Arthur leaned further into Merlin’s comforting embrace. I’m following your lead on this.

So like usual?

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. Yes, like usual.

They walked forward together. The knights had forced Rolan back into a corner, but they were losing ground fast. Once Rolan saw Arthur walking forward, he knocked them out of the way like they had been nothing more than flies.

“About time you faced me.” Rolan spat. “Didn’t you once tell me, that we both were monsters, but that you were stronger than me? Well look who’s stronger now? I’m going to destroy you, so you never come between me and Merlin ever again!”

Both of their voices came out at the same time. “You will never be stronger.”

Rolan snapped forward, grabbing Arthur’s throat between his hands.

They didn’t flinch.

They placed both hands on Merlin’s body.

Call for my magic. The same way you called for me.

Arthur obeyed, and together they pulled the magic towards them.

The storm clouds around Rolan began to break apart. “What are you doing?” The red cracks of magic across Merlin’s body began to turn gold. “Stop that.”

Rolan tried to let go and back away from Arthur, but he couldn’t move.

“You have caused too much pain already,” they said. “You do not belong on this plane. You do not belong in this body. Go back from whence you came!”

With all of Merlin’s magic flowing into Arthur’s body, their words were like a spell. Rolan’s soul thrashed, but it no longer had enough magic to fight. “No! You’ll never escape me, Merlin. I will take you. I will take all of you!”

Suddenly it felt as if something had reached inside Arthur and grabbed onto Merlin. The power threatened to pull him back. Arthur held onto him, wrapping all that was himself around all that was Merlin until they were nearly indistinguishable. “You will never have him. Merlin made his choice, and we belong to each other. Not you!”

And with a final shove, Rolan’s soul vanished from this world.

Golden light exploded around him again.

Then everything was dark.

Chapter Text

The first thing Merlin felt were familiar fingers caressing his face. In reality, it had been only two days since he had felt Arthur’s touch. There were a few times he had gone longer than that. Yet he found himself openly weeping for that touch.

“Shh, it’s alright, love. Open your eyes,” Arthur begged. “Please, open your eyes.”

Merlin blinked. It was strange being in his body once again. A part of him had gotten used to being a spirt, or at least the way he saw the world as a spirit. But as he looked up into the face of his true love, everything was warmer and brighter than he ever remembered.

His body answered his command to lift his hand and touch Arthur’s back. Arthur’s skin was as much a home as his kisses.

“Did you miss me?”

Arthur crashed into him. His whole body was shaking as he held Merlin close, breaking for the second time, but this time safe in the knowledge that Merlin was there. Merlin had him.

Whether it was still a lingering affect of the time their spirits had spent as one, or was part of the bond they had newly discovered, Merlin couldn’t say. But he could feel the very depths of the grief and sorrow that Arthur had suffered over the last few days.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin whispered, even as he rained kisses on every part of Arthur’s face and neck that he could reach. “I’m so sorry my King.”

“You left me. You went where I couldn’t go.”

“I never left you, and I never will. I’m here now. I have you.”

They had each other for what felt like hours but could only have been minutes before they were interrupted. “Okay, not to be the bad guy here, but I’m pretty sexy as a villainess anyway, but I really need to examine Merlin before you strangle him too death.” Morgana. It was Morgana next to them now. “Not to mention that we sort of were involved in the death of Essetir’s King and Prince and we really need to address that sooner rather than later or we’re going to have a whole army breathing down our necks.”

Morgana was right. As much as Merlin wanted to just bury himself in Arthur and sleep for a whole week, there was too much that needed to be done.

“Yes, I can—” Merlin moved to stand and he didn’t know whether he wanted to scream for the pain tearing through his whole body or pass out due to the empty well of magic sucking up what little energy he had left. Somehow he sort of did both and a few seconds later he had a very terrified Arthur and a very annoyed Morgana staring at him.

“I did not say you could move, Merlin.” Morgana said. “Your body was basically in a magical coma for two days, your soul has been tugged every which way, and almost all your magic was drained in that last attack. You need healing, and rest. And I wouldn’t count my hens on a speedy recovery either.”

“Please, Merlin. For once in your life, just let us take care of you rather than the other way around.” Merlin would very much have liked to remind Arthur, that he was learning to often let Arthur care for him. But the truth was he didn’t have the energy to debate it.

“Okay.”

Arthur’s arms were around him, scooping him up, even as he was giving orders to the other knights to begin preparations for dealing with Essetir.

Merlin had no idea what was said or what was going on as the next thing he knew he was asleep against Arthur’s chest.

He woke what must have been hour later, happily to find Arthur’s body curled around him as they lay out in a bed.

Merlin gave a happy hum. Arthur didn’t move, though he clearly had realized that Merlin was awake.

“Feeling better?” Arthur asked.

“Much.” Rather than the pain throughout his body he was feeling a tingly numbness. “What happened while I was asleep?”

“Quite a lot. Morgana was able to heal you to a certain degree, and Gaius was able to send a potion through some magical portal trick for us to give you. As for everything with Essetir, we were able to explain everything that happened to Essetir’s council. Lot’s other son was put under magical interrogation, and it was discovered he had not been involved in his father and brother’s plans. In fact, he felt so terrible about being so blind to their plans that he abnegated the throne.”

Wow. That was not something Merlin hadn’t expected, but then again, he hadn’t really known much about any of Lot’s children.

“The council is going to hold a series of tests to elect a new king, one they hope will be less corrupt than the last.”

“I hope so too,” Merlin agreed.

He shifted enough so that he could look straight up into Arthur’s face. “Though there is one more important question I believe I have to ask you.”

Arthur smiled. “Actually, I have one for you too, but I will let you go first.”

“What manners,” Merlin said with a laugh before he went back to being serious. “During all of this, and getting me back, and watching over me, when was the last time you slept?”

Merlin had learned by experience that Arthur had a horrible habit of not sleeping when things got dangerous as they had for the last few days.

Arthur blanched, as that obviously had been the last question, he expected Merlin to ask. Or, perhaps, it was his answer and not the question that had drained all the color from his face. “I eh…after you…” He swallowed the lump in his throat even as his body began to quake.

Concerned, Merlin pressed in closer, holding Arthur so close their heart beats echoed through each other’s chests.

“After you died, I… I cried myself to sleep and dreamed that you were next to me again, begging me for help, and then I woke up and you were dead in my arms. I can’t… I can’t wake up again and find out this isn’t real.”

Merlin could understand. He’d had his share of nightmares and Arthur had been there beside him through them all. “Oh, Arthur. I’m so sorry. That must have been horrible. But this isn’t a dream. This is real. I am here. And I won’t let anything separate us like that again.”

“But that’s not a promise you can make,” Arthur said, his voice sounding broken. “If this has taught us anything, it’s that. No matter how powerful or smart you are, there are things that we just can’t fight against, and death is one of them.”

Merlin hated the fact that Arthur was right. As much as they were more powerful than most, it was impossible for them to avoid death forever.

Still.

“I know neither of us will live forever, but Arthur, our souls are meant for each other. No matter what happens, I do know that we will always find each other again. In this life or the next.”

Arthur nodded, tucking his head into the warm pulse of Merlin’s heart just at his throat. Merlin could feel his exhaustion.

“You can sleep now, Arthur. This time I’ll watch over you and keep the nightmares away,” Merlin promised.

“Okay, but only after you answer my question.”

“Ah yes, you’re very important question. Go ahead, my king.”

Arthur pulled back, but only went far enough to grab something from a drawer beside the bed. He turned back and Merlin felt his heart stop as he looked down at a ring. Merlin had seen that ring before and knew it was the previous Queen’s, Arthur’s mother. Yet it looked to be sized for—

“Merlin of Ealdor. You are the light of my life. You are my greatest strength, my greatest advisor, and the absolute greatest kisser I have ever met. I have loved you for as long as I have understood the true depth that that word can mean. There is no one else that I want by my side, no one I trust more to rule with me, and protect our people. So please, do me the honor of becoming my husband.”

“Yes!” Merlin kissed him and kissed him and kissed him.

Arthur wouldn’t stop smiling as he slipped the ring on Merlin’s finger.

“But I do not want some huge wedding, Kin of Albion or not, I don’t want to deal with every nation coming and taking up space in our castle. I just want it to be for us, and our friends, and our people.”

“Whatever you say, my king.” Hearing Arthur call him that in such a reverent voice sent the good kind of shivers down his spine.

But as much as Merlin wanted to do something about that, and once again feel Arthur soul and body, neither of them had the energy for it. So instead they spread out in each other’s arms, touching as much as it was possible as they both slept peacefully.

A few hours later.

“WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL ME MY MOTHER WAS HERE!”

Arthur was rushing after a very angry Merlin, who was moving at surprising speeds for how weak he still was.

“Because I didn’t want you to do this!” Arthur admonished. “I will have one of the knights bring her to our room. You shouldn’t even be out of bed.”

Merlin didn’t stop moving. “I can’t believe, my mother has been here the whole time thinking I was dead, and you didn’t think to tell me!”

“She came to see you before while you were healing, you can’t actually believe I would let your mother keep thinking you were dead for days. I’m not an idiot, Merlin!”

“Oh that’s exactly what you are when I—” Merlin’s whole vision whited out for a moment and suddenly he was falling.

Arthur caught him before he could crumble to the floor. “Merlin! You are in no condition to be acting like this. I will send for your mother, but you will rest.”

Merlin pouted but let himself once again be dragged back to their room.

It wasn’t like Merlin hadn’t almost died before. Alright, so maybe this counted as actually dying, but did it really? Merlin didn’t understand why he couldn’t just bounce back like normal. Despite Morgana’s healing, tons of rest, and Gaius’s potion he still didn’t feel right in his own body. It was like it was too tight and it took too much energy to do anything.

Seeing Merlin’s pout, Arthur sighed. “Fine. A compromise. I’ll carry you to a sitting room where your mother can meet us. But if you start feeling worse at all, you will promise that you will go straight to bed.”

Merlin happily nodded. It seemed that this marriage thing was going to be pretty great, if Arthur was going to kowtow to his whims all the time.

Arthur helped Merlin get situated before sending for Hunith. He also sent for food and tea to be brought up for Merlin to get some sustenance.

“You need to eat too!” Merlin pointed out.

So by the time Hunith arrived, both boys were sharing a meal and laughing.

Merlin stopped the moment he saw his mother. It was strange, he knew very well that he had died, and the pain he had caused to so many because of his loss. But somehow it wasn’t until that very moment when he was staring at his mother’s tear ridden face, that it truly sunk in just how close he had come to losing so much love in the world.

“Mum!”

They crashed together in a hug. Hunith holding him against her side the way she always did when he couldn’t stop crying as a child. “My boy. My precious boy.”

As they ate, they sat and talked. Hunith listened carefully as Arthur explained what had happened. Merlin was too teared up to say much of anything. In fact, he found himself slipping further and further into exhaustion the longer he sat there.

Though when they finally got to the topic of their engagement, Merlin perked back up. He and Hunith were already making plans. “And mum, I would love it if you came back to Camelot with to help with plans, and honestly, I would really like it if you considered moving into the castle with us.”

It was something he and Arthur had discussed at length before. Hunith had not been ready yet to give up her simple life in the village, but Merlin knew it was getting harder and harder for her to take care of the house on her own anymore.

“Why don’t I come with you until the wedding, and I can decide then,” Hunith suggested.

 Merlin leaned over to hug his mother, but he must have misjudged the distance because rather than wrapping his arms around his mother, the next thing Merlin knew, he was on the floor.

Even his hearing cut out for a second. “—take him back to his room to rest. And the moment Gaius arrives with Clio, he is going to look you over again.”

Merlin numbly nodded at Arthur.

Hunith kissed him once more on the forehead. “Please, rest. We will have all the time in the world to catch up.”

“I love you,” Merlin murmured to his mother.

Arthur grumbled as he walked him away. Merlin didn’t catch all of it, but he got enough of the gist to sigh at his fiancé. “You cannot tie me up in your bed for the rest of eternity. If you did, who else would run your castle for you?”

“You’re just…scaring me. I just can’t shake this feeling like we’re missing something. It’s not like it’s everyday someone just comes back from the dead.”

“I wasn’t exactly dead, you know. But I get your point. Morgana is looking into it. She said it might be a few days before my soul is able to resettle into my body, and that it was difficult to know what kind of side effects might come with the adjustment.”

Arthur didn’t seem to like that answer no matter how many times Merlin gave it.

They had arrived back in their temporary chambers, and Arthur gently set Merlin down on the bed. Merlin was already half asleep. Arthur brushed the hair from his face. “I just want you to get better and go back to being your usual self.”

Merlin wanted that too. “I will, soon. Just…” he yawned. “Need to sleep.”

“Alright, I will—”

There was a knock at the door. It was Lancelot. He had an apologetic smile on. “I’m sorry to disturb you, sire. I fear I need your presence for a moment. Essetir’s council would like to speak with you for a few minutes regarding their plans to choose a new ruler.”

Arthur clearly didn’t want to go.

“I’m alright.” Merlin said. “I’m only going to sleep. Nothing exciting happening here.”

“Fine. I’ll be quick.” Arthur leaned forward to kiss Merlin. “Stay here. Do not go anywhere on your own.”

“I won’t.” Merlin snuggled further into the sheets. “I’ll stay right here and sleep.”

After Arthur left with Lancelot it was mere minutes before Merlin was asleep.

A few minutes later, the silence of the room was broken by the sound of the sheets moving back. Two feet quietly landed on the cold floor. The bed creaked as weight lifted from the mattress. Though it was still midday, the drawn curtains had left the room an almost muted gray.

No one saw as Merlin’s sleeping body took one step and then another across the floor. No one saw his eyes roll back in his head before slotting back into place. No one saw the red glow that swarmed his eyes and spread through the veins of his skin. No one saw him laugh at his own reflection.

“I told you; you would never escape me.” A ghostly voice whispered into the empty room.