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Chapter Text

Imogen couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t. She curled her little fists into the blankets over her chest as she felt her heart beating beneath it, loud and constant. Thump thump thump thump.

There was another flash behind her curtains and she gasped a little breath and shut her eyes tight until she heard the rumble of thunder in the distance. It was getting louder. Loud enough to rattle her windows in a low hum. She hated thunder.

Mostly cause she didn’t understand it. How could it be so loud and so bright? Where did it come from? Where did it go off to? How hot was it to the touch? Papa told her she was too old to be afraid of it. That 7 year olds shouldn’t be afraid of anything anymore. But on nights like this, it couldn’t be helped.

She was stuck here, chasing sleep and trying to hide deeper and deeper under her blankets. Breathing in and out in a sharp exhale every time the light bolted and cast strange shadows over the room.

But then there was a different sound, different from the rumbling and the thumping of her heart and the tight little breaths that escaped her. Something hard to describe but maybe... a shift? Or a sigh. Her eyes shot open and she looked around for the source.

The door was still closed, the chair hadn’t moved, the furniture was all where it had been. Nothing out of the ordinary, but she was positive that it was... different somehow.

“Hello?” She said to the room. She wasn’t expecting a response, or maybe she was. But she wasn’t expecting it to come in the form of a cheery-

“Hello to you too.”  

From under her bed.

She peeped a small squeak, and tightened her hold on her sheets curling her legs up, ready to spring.

“Sorry! Sorry! I think I must’ve scared you.” Said the same voice, and now hearing it again, and knowing to expect it, she realized… it didn’t sound all that scary. It sounded like another young girl. Maybe around her own age.

“N-no. Not scared.” Imogen said, recovering her ground and uncurling slowly. “Just surprised is all.”

“Well that’s good. I usually end up scaring and upsetting people, and rarely ever mean to do either.” The voice said with unmistakable relief.

“Probably cause they ain’t expectin’ ya to be under their beds.” Imogen said, peering over the edge of her mattress to look down at the floor. It looked like floor, nothing odd.

“Probably… but I never mean to be. It just sort of… happens.” The voice said, sounding thoughtful.

“Happens?” Imogen asked, genuinely curious.

“Yeah, I go to bed in my room and wake up… here. Or sometimes in other places. But always under beds. Always in the dark.” The voice said, sounding unsure. Like she knew what she was saying to be true but not why. “And people seem to be afraid of the dark.”

“Well… not me.” Imogen said, trying to sound strong. She was beginning to realize that this voice sounded kinda… sad. She didn’t think that they should be. “I ain’t afraid of much, papa says 7 is too old to be afraid.”

As she said that another bolt of lightning decided to flash behind her curtains and give her a little jumpstart. She rocked in her spot and reclutched the fabric of her sheets. The voice seemed to notice.

“Are you alright?” They asked, sounding more worried than judgmental.

“Y-yeah, just startled me.” She said trying to regain her composure. She didn’t want the voice to think she was silly, especially after her big attempt at bravery.

“Are you… startled often by lightning?”

“I… I don’t know, I suppose so.” Imogen sighed curling her knees up to her chest. “It’s just- it’s really bright and out of nowhere, then you know it’s going to be loud but not when, and then it just keeps happening.” She said with an exasperated wave of the hand.

“That makes sense. It really is a bother.” The voice agreed. “But… maybe one day you wont mind it so much.”

“Maybe…” Imogen said softly, leaning her head over her arms and letting a quiet settle in the room. The voice was oddly helpful for a stranger under her bed. And she felt… comfortable around them.

“I don’t think 7 is too old to be afraid of things.” The voice said after some time, breaking the silence that had settled. “I’m 7 and I’m still scared of lots of things. Do you want to know one?” The voice asked with a sly, conspiratorial tone. Like a great secret was being shared.

“I-I guess so.”

“I’m afraid of choking on my steak.” She said proudly and Imogen couldn’t help but to chuckle, completely caught off guard.

“What?! That’s your big fear?” She asked, hearing her giddy laugh from under the bed.

“Yes. I almost did once when we having dinner. I was just so hungry and my parents said, slow down and chew your food, and I followed their advice just a bit too late. My father had to slap me on the back and pick me up and shake me. I was practically blue in the face.” She said, a surprisingly cheery tone for someone recounting a near death experience. “But it worked ya know? Being scared of that I now think to chew my food a lot slower. All night if I have to.”

“I didn’t know monsters under the bed could be scared.” Imogen said in thought. She also didn’t know they chewed steak and had families.

“Well that’s cause I’m no monster.” The voice said, very sure of herself. “I’m just a person, same as you.”

“Oh- I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know many people who appear under other peoples beds.” She said, not wanting to offend her new guest. It was hard to picture this kindly spirit as a red eyed, sharp-toothed beast from the legends. She sounded more like someone she’d see at the schoolyard, climbing through the bushes and picking flowers.

“Yeah… I don’t know any either…” The voice said with a sigh.

“It’s not that I’ve minded.” Imogen said hurriedly. “It’s… it’s been nice having the company.”

“Hmm… it’s been lovely talking to you too… not many people give me the chance. It’s usually a little more… startling for them when I appear. Lot’s of shouting, you know the ‘demon! demon! everybody run’ schtick. I’m sure you can imagine.”

Imogen could. People could be so silly, jumping to conclusions before knowing the details.

“That’s a shame for them, cause you’ve been nothing but helpful.” Imogen said, a yawn following the end of her words as she rolled back on her side.

“You’re tired.” The voice said, stating a simple fact. “You should rest.”

“Yeah, ‘spose I should.” Imogen said, eyes suddenly very heavy with the late eve weighing down on her. “Will you… be here when I wake up?”

“I don’t think that’s how it works...” The voice said, realization sitting between them.

“Hmm…” Imogen said, suddenly having to fight to stay awake. “But you’ll come back, won’t you?”

“I don’t know that either… But... I hope so. I liked meeting you.” The voice said fondly.

“Same here.” Imogen said, voice becoming groggy. She really had to try to stay awake now, but she wanted to. She needed to know one more thing.

“Before you go… Do you have a name?”

“Yes! Of course, how rude of me. I’m Laudna.”

Laudna. A nice name. Sounded like a song one would sing to themselves out in the fields.

“Nice to meet you Laudna. My name’s Imogen.”

“Imogen. Oh that’s lovely. Very fitting.” Laudna said approvingly with a sweet hum. “Well, don’t let me keep you up any longer, sleep well Imogen.”

“You too Laudna.” Imogen blinked heavy behind her eyelids, but smiling all the same at the prospect of her new friend. It wasn’t until then that she realized… the storm had long since faded. Not even a hint of thunder left to rumble behind.

Chapter Text

When Laudna woke up in the morning there was a kind of… elation around her. She hoped she was using that word right. Elation. Or, was elation when you filled something with air…? No, no, that was inflation. Elation, yes! That’s what she was feeling! Giddy! Excited! Like her little chest would explode!

She sat up in her cot in the barn and chuckled, clutching her blankets to her chest and kicking her feet under the covers, thrilled by the little secret she now possessed.

Her family didn’t know of her night adventures, and how could they? She barely understood them. She’d go to bed in her room and wake up somewhere else, carted through the darkness and winding up in some strange, equally dark place without the sounds of the hens out in their pens and rats in the wall to keep her company. But then, she’d always wake back up in her room again. So, how could she explain? There was nothing to do, no way to prove it, no way to stop it, and nothing so bad about it.

But last night had been different. It hadn’t been merely endured, but daresay, fun! She’d met another girl her age this time, she’d laughed and gotten her to laugh. She liked the sound of her laugh, she decided. A whole lot.

Imogen. Her friend’s name was Imogen. It was a real pretty name. Like a flower should be named an Imogen. Right there in her mom’s garden with the petunias and the marigolds she could imagine a path of Imogen’s, growing and brightening the earth.

Laudna smiled and laid back down, pulling the cover to her chin and laughing to herself again in a little thrilled smile. It was so new.

And she hoped… she really, really hoped… she’d see her again soon.

********************************

When Imogen tucked herself into bed that night she blew out the lamp in a hurry and dove under the covers. She didn’t even try to read a few more pages of her adventure book under the sheets before her dad would, inevitably, catch her still awake. She curled herself in her blanket and slept on her side, facing the door. The opposite way she normally slept, but she wanted to face the room. She wanted to be ready incase… incase her new friend really did show back up.

Her friend under the bed, the not-monster Laudna. When she’d woken she was almost convinced it was a dream, but she was fairly certain her imagination wasn’t strong enough to make someone like Laudna. She chuckled at the idea. Laudna was different… different than anyone she’d ever met. And she really hoped she’d come back tonight.

She wondered what she looked like. In her mind she was just a little shadow with a voice. But if she was a person like she said she must have a person form right? A face and arms and legs and things. It made sense that she would. She wondered what they looked like. Was she taller than Imogen? Was her skin freckled like her own? What color was her hair?

A concern arrived that if she did appear under the bed… it was probably dusty? And gross? When was the last time Imogen had looked under the bed, much less cleaned?

(Well that morning she had of course looked, to see if by any chance the new voice had ended up still being there. She had not, just the dust bunnies.)

Imogen popped out of bed with a very important idea and as quiet as she could, hoping not to wake her parents, she scurried across the room to the opposite wall. There she picked up a stuffed toy of a bird her mom had sewn. One of her favorites, Ramoné. He was a simple shape and some stuffed cotton between a few sheets of dyed fabric, but still. A trusted friend. She treaded back to her bed, avoiding the squeaky floorboards, and bent down to place the little raven by the edge of the shadows, then hopped back into sheets, tucking herself in tightly and re-facing the room.

Good, now if her guest did come there’d be something to keep her company. Momma had told her that when people came to visit it was polite to offer them something. And while she didn’t have any lemonade or crackers, she hoped her little play-mate would be a fine offering.

She was confident Laudna would like him.

When she woke in the morning she blinked, surprised at all the light. When had the sun come up? When had she fallen asleep? She looked down hurriedly, and saw that there was Ramoné… still sticking out halfway from under the frame. Darn-it. She sighed, deflated.

Laudna hadn’t come. She tried not to be disappointed, but she had gotten her little hopes up. Imogen sat up, placing her cheek on her fist and trying to think. What if she never came back?

“Imogen- you up yet?” Her father’s voice carried from down the hall. “Come on, we’re due at the stables.”

“One sec!” She yelled back, hopping out of bed and pushing down her disappointment. She had chores to do, she couldn’t focus on it. Laudna had said she wasn’t sure she could come back, maybe she really couldn’t. She thought it must be confusing waking up under beds. Did they all look the same from under the mattress?

She pulled on her vest over her undershirt and hopped on one foot as she slid a leg into her slacks and then the other before grabbing her boots as she heard her dad call again and hurryied down the hall.

Well, just cause she didn’t come back yet, didn’t mean she wouldn’t. Imogen thought, determinedly. Maybe she could do something about it.

She’d make under her bed the most inviting place, somewhere Laudna wouldn’t be able to not come to.

The rest of the week Imogen cleaned under her bed, every day. She dusted and swept furiously, to the point her mom asked her what she was still doing with the broom? How much cleaner could it be? She also smuggled a small packet of crackers from the cupboard that she would lay out each night, and then hide in her nightgown drawer in the morning when they had sadly been uneaten. Ramoné lived under the bed now, awaiting his visitor. Imogen would find herself talking to him when she lay awake at the late hours.

“Think she’ll come tonight Ramoné?” She’d ask him. He squawked back in her mind, hopeful as she was. “Yeah I think so too… wonder what it’s like where she is. Does the sun get dark when it does here? Does she have a bedroom like mine? Maybe even bigger? Does she have any siblings…”

She’d pitch him all kind of theories about the mystery friend, to which he’d squawk back in agreed wonder. But, days became weeks, and she was starting to think she may really not come back. Regardless… she’s still set out the crackers.

********************************

It had been storming all day. Terribly. Loudly. The sun had never even bothered coming out. Her family had been pelted by rain and hail as they were trying to save the crops they could and ultimately retreated with half what they’d hoped to get with the storm worsening. Her father had warned if they stayed out they’d only catch a death of a cold.

Laudna hadn’t minded the cold too much, but it was making it hard to pick corn with her hands turning blue at the tips of her fingers. As the night carried on the storm had only worsened, rain dripping down through the holes in the barn roof and pelting along the windows outside. She laid in her bed, wrapped in dry clothes and teeth still chittering, and ultimately finding herself worried. What if it was storming this bad where Imogen was? What if she was scared?

She’d tried going back to her. Every night she slept she’d thought of the place where she couldn’t quite remember, and every night it hadn’t worked. She’d woken up in other odd places, like always. Scaring a few when she’d ask an, ‘Imogen?’ into the room. Their screams usually told her no, no this was not the place. And then they’d look under the bed or flip on a light she would wake up and be back home, stewing in bed, annoyed that this gift of hers would not cooperate.

But tonight she thought only of Imogen, like she had been most nights, but with concern. She wished she could go check on her. She wished more than anything. And then finally, when her body was tired of shivering and huddling, it succumbed to sleep. And she awoke.

When she did wake it was like usual- that peering through dark, like floating in a dream, though she hadn’t had those in sometime. Her body would feel weightless, the cold was gone that she’d been feeling, and she was moving slowly by some force. Though, up down left or right she couldn’t tell you. Just in some direction. It didn’t scare her, the not-knowing. She’d land soon, replaced in the dark in a new dark space. There was nothing discernible in here to guide her. But.. wait... maybe… there was?

She heard something. Something she never had in here. A flapping, like a bird on a tree branch startling away. She turned her body, and felt it move, much to her surprise. This was new. She moved her arms, like… swimming. Like how she would in the ponds out back on summer days and brave fall nights. And to her surprise, it worked! She honed in on where the sound had come from, and started moving. She started hearing other things. Soft, like from across the hill, but they were there… the sound of rain again. The gentle flap rang out once more. And then… a voice. And then she blinked awake, and realized she was… somewhere new.

The rain was still trickling outside, but she most definitely wasn’t in her barn anymore. It was… warmer. Her back was on a rug, and she rolled over to see something definitely not from her barn. A bird. A stuffed bird. Next to a small dish of crackers that he guarded watchfully.

“Was it you I was hearing back there?” She said aloud with no thought to the bird that stared back at her with button eyes. A sudden gasp rang out from above her, and Laudna jerked up, hitting her head on the bottom of the bed, then rubbing her face with her palm.

“Laudna?!” A voice called out with surprise and hope and more surprise.

“Imogen!” Laudna called back, realizing where she was with great delight.

Imogen squealed above her, but not in that typical squeal of fear she’d become accustomed to, but actual delight. She heard her gasp and cover her mouth at her own antics and was about to ask why when she heard a muffled boot beyond the door and a voice from the other side.

“Imogen? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing Pa!” She called back.

“You should be asleep. We’ve got an early morning.” The voice said back sternly.

“I know Pa.” She called again.

“If I find out you’re staying up to read that book-“

“I’m notttt.” She said insistently. “Just had a bad dream. I’m going back to sleep! Honest.”

“You’re keeping her up by yelling so much, just let her be.” A much softer voice said from beyond the door and the first voice grunted in surrender.

“Ok ok,” He said quieter to the second voice before yelling back one last time. “Alright, well I expect to see you at sun-up. Goodnight.” Before the boots moved away and Laudna ultimately heard a sigh from above her in relief before it was followed by a quiet whisper.

“Laudna? Is it really you?” The whisper was brimming with excitement that Laudna too felt.

“It’s me! Is it you?” She said back as quiet as she could.

“Course it is!” Imogen chuckled. “You heard my parents yelling my name just now, didn’t ya?”

Now Laudna chuckled.

“I did, I did, you’re right. What’s at sun-up?” She asked the last part in genuine curiosity.

“Oh, work. We’re ranch-hands so we have to get to the horses early, else they get antsy.” Imogen said matter-of-factly. But then she heard her shift suddenly. “What am I talking about, you’re back! I can’t believe it! I’m really… glad!” She could hear her smile and it was infectious.

“Me too! I’ve been trying for days!” Laudna said in a hushed glee.

“You have?” Imogen asked.

“Well yes! I meant what I said before, I was very happy to meet you and wanted to meet you again. But these… sleep walks of sorts just don’t seem to cooperate.”

“But now they did?” Imogen asked, a bit more hopeful.

“Yes! That’s the crazy thing!” Laudna said. “I was thinking about you and there was a terrible storm raging where I was and I wondered if it was storming where you were then… I was sleep walking, or sleep floating? I don’t quite have a term for it yet, and… it was different.” She remembered the flapping sound, like feathers and wings, and looked at the bird beside her again. “And now I’m here!”

She heard a happy content little breath from above her as Imogen accepted her story, and she imagined her being perched on the end of the mattress, looking over the side to see if she reached out from under. She knew she couldn’t. The little trick to this magic, if someone tried to see her or if she left the shadow, she vanished… and she didn’t want to go just yet.

“Who’s this little guy?” She asked, reaching for the little bird and pulling him across the rug, and that same little surprised breath rang out as Imogen no-doubtedly watched the little bird disappear under the bed.

“That’s Ramoné! He’s a friend of mine… I thought you might want to meet him.”

Laudna smiled and looked over Ramoné in appreciation. She couldn’t make out the colors with her eyes. They saw in the dark no problem, but couldn’t pick red from yellow from purple from chartreuse (which she thought had been type of fish but was actually a type of bright green.)

“He’s very dashing. He must be very special.”

“He is.” Imogen agreed. “And- and if you’re hungry I left you some crackers. Ya know… hosting and all.”

Laudna looked at the dish with surprise.

“You… you left these for me?”

“Well yeah silly! It’s my room, you’re my guest. Guest’s get crackers.” Imogen said brightly and Laudna was touched. Truly touched. She reached out and slid one from the wrapper, looking it over, and took a crunchy bite. She heard Imogen chuckle from above her. The novelty of feeding a ‘monster’ under your bed was not lost on her.

Another thought came to her.

“I’m going to leave you half.” She whispered back, as if conspiring. Imogen chuckled again.

“You don’t have to.”

“I insist! You were so gracious as to leave me a snack, I would like to share it with you I just can’t… right now.”

Imogen hummed. “Well that’s very nice of you.”

Laudna happily counted out the crackers remaining and sorted them into to piles of four, then nibbled on the rest of her stack. She held up Ramoné and let him take a nibble to, poking his felt beak against the crumbs.

“So… you can’t come out from under the bed?”

Laudna hummed.

“Whenever I try I end up waking… like it cuts the connection.”

“Hmm… so you’re like… dreaming right now?”

Imogen was curious, and it made Laudna feel bad that she didn’t have the answers. She pushed some air though her teeth and tilted her head thinking.

“I don’t think so? That would imply that you’re a dream… and you seem pretty real to me.”

“Oh I’m very real.” Imogen confirmed. “And hey, we don’t have to talk about your powers, I didn’t mean to make you sad.” She said softening. So considerate this one.

“It’s not that I don’t like to… I just don’t know. Still figuring it out…” Laudna said. Then added, “And you didn’t make me sad at all, honest. In fact I’m very, veryyy happy being here with you and Ramoné.”

Imogen chuckled again and Laudna smiled and leaned back, feeling absolutely at ease, Ramoné curled up on her chest.

“Hey Laudna?” Imogen called out after a moment.

“Yes?”

“What… what color is your hair?”

Laudna hummed.

“Black. Real dark, ma says it hides all the dirt.” She said and got the little laugh she hoped she would from Imogen. “My skins real pale though. I thought being outside as much as we are I’d tan like my brothers and sisters, but nope. I just burn.”

“What are your parents like?” She asked next.

“Nice. Real tall. I hope I’ll be as tall as them one day, or even taller. My dad’s real strong and ma makes really good stew. You can’t even taste the vegetables.”

“You don’t like vegetables?”

“When they’re in stew I do! What about you?”

“Well… my skin is really freckly on my shoulders and around my nose… and my hair is a light purple. Momma calls it lavender.”

And the night continued like this… she told her about her parents farm, Imogen told her about her horses and her favorite one, Flora. She named all her siblings for her and found Imogen was an only child. They talked about the worst vegetables and what time of day was best. They talked about cute animals they’d met that day, including a playful squirrel and a timid tadpole, and they talked about who was probably taller between the two of them, and it seemed their answers grew each time the other added an inch, until they both admitted that they were, indeed, not 11 feet tall and broke into a fit of giggles. And then hours passed and among it all Laudna eased back into a second sleep, content and smiling as she’d swapped secrets with her friend.

She woke with a drop of dew popping along her nose, falling from the broken rafter that sat above her bed and pulling her from sleep to wake with a startle. She blinked, still cradled into her bed. The sheets were only slightly wet where the rain had gotten through, but the early sun was doing wonders drying them through the windows, now left open by her ma, welcoming the pleasant morning. She could already hear the hens.

She lifted her arms over her head to stretch, and felt a weight shift that had been nestled against her chest as she shifted and looked down to see with surprise-

Ramoné.

Had been curled up in her bed.

She froze mid-stretch, not sure who looked more surprised to see the other. Ramoné and his button eyes or, her black ones about to fall off her face.

Chapter Text

“What are you doing here my little stowaway?” Laudna murmured, looking at the stuffed raven she was holding in her hands. The bird was made of a felt-like material and was soft. So soft. Most of it was midnight blue, almost black, with a lighter blue thread seamed into the sides. The feet and beak were a golden yellow in contrast.

It was easily the most beautiful toy she’d ever seen, down to the button eyes on either side.

“You weren’t supposed to come through with me, Imogen will be looking for you.” She whispered to the stuffed bird, but with more awe than pretend anger.

There was a ruckus on the other side of the house as the rest of her family had woken to see the leak in the roof leaving them all the opposite of high and dry, but contextually the same.

She stuffed Ramoné under her pillow and whispered, “Don’t be too loud ok? I’ll get you home to your girl soon.”

Laudna nodded to the bird, secret firmly in place, and scurried to find dry clothes.

*******

Imogen walked out into the morning with her Ma and Pa, rubbing small circles under her eyes with her her knuckle and yawning into the grey sky of the world. Even colors were too tired to be awake at this hour.

Huh, she forgot to ask Laudna her favorite color.

“Imogen, why you so tired today?” Her daddy asked, sounding almost suspicious. Like he did when he asked her why there was a cookie missing from the jar.

She shrugged.

“Just am.” She said, not thinking there was any way to explain that she’d made a new friend who was a girl stuck in the shadows under her bed.

“Oh go easy on her Relvan.” Ma said with a pat to his shoulder. “She’s keeping up.”

Pa only gruffed one of his deep sounds in the back of his throat. Imogen could never tell if it meant ‘fine’ or ‘if you say so’ or ’I don’t like it’ or some combination of the three. But it was the end of the topic. Ma shot her one little smile over her shoulder that Imogen returned before they went back to their walking.

She reached into her skirt when her parents had gone back to facing forward and mumbling to each other and pulled out one of the crackers Laudna had left for her on the plate. She took a big bite with a mischievous smile, quick and quiet as she could and wiping the crumbs from her lips before anyone could be the wiser.

She’d save the other half for Flora at the stables.

*******

The next night Laudna didn’t manage to get back to Imogen’s room. It sounded instead like a much older man who screamed out, “What the shit?!” in an accent she’d never heard before as he tried to flip the bed over. She awoke with a jolt, thinking how Mama would have made him put a copper in the swear jar.

The night after that she woke in a room where she couldn’t hear anything besides a baby crying down the hall.

The next next night whoever she ended up under slept like a rock, and snored like one too.

And the one after that she startled someone so much she heard a scream that ended with something that sounded an awful lot like glass or a glass like thing shattering on the ground. She winced at the sound of the shards flying everywhere and called out a quick, “Sorry about that!” before being recalled to her shadow walking space and slammed back into her body.

She got her bearings and sighed a long sigh upon waking, letting the air fill up her entire chest before slipping out of her lips with a puff. She rolled over in her little cot, legs tucked up under her hips and one arm stuffed under her pillow, and looked up through the gaps in the roof that revealed a few twinkling stars way up in the sky. Almost as if saying hello from a place so far away.

Under her pillow her fingers grazed her feathered friend and she bit her lip, shooting a look over her shoulder toward the hearth in the living room. She couldn’t hear anyone stoking it, making her think it was later in the night. Everyone was probably asleep.

So she slowly, ever so slowly, like pulling a piece of cheese from a mousetrap, pulled Ramoné from under her pillow.

“Good evening my little friend.” She whispered, laying him across from her so his button eyes were even with her own. “I’m sorry I’ve been having such a tough time getting you home. Imogen’s probably worried sick about you.”

Ramoné didn’t say much but she got a feeling he agreed.

“Who wouldn’t miss you? You’re a very nice toy. And vey polite… I’m sure you miss her too.” She continued. “How could you not miss someone like Imogen?”

Ramoné seemed to agree extra to that one. Laudna sighed again.

“If you have any ideas, I’m all ears. It was you and your flapping that got me there the first time you know…”

She drew little circles with the tip of her finger on the top of her sheet and hummed to herself.

Why do you want to see her so much?

She wasn’t sure where the voice came from. Maybe Ramoné, maybe herself, maybe a third person she hadn’t meant. But she answered regardless.

“Cause I like her. And I miss her. And… I think she likes me too.” She smiled to herself a bit after that. “Not many people like me.”

What? But you’re so friendly.

“I know right? I try. I really do, but I’m just sooooo…” What were all the words the people in town used for her?

Odd? Unsettling? Dark? Dirty? 

“Different.” She thought finally. Like a brand that followed her through all the stalls in town and hushed whispers and dismissive looks.

Different isn’t always bad… Imogen’s different. 

Laudna smiled at that, honest and chipper as she nodded in agreement. A warmth spread to her cheeks.

“She really is. Different from everyone. In a good way. The best way.”

The very best.

She liked this voice. It understood her. She hugged Ramoné tight to her chest.

“Yeah. She is the best. I hope we’ll see her soon.” She paused in thought and decided she’d amend it. “I know we will.”

*******

Imogen plopped on her bed with a sweaty huff. They were getting into the busy season at the farm. Everyday was leaving with work still to be done but no energy left in her hands to do it. Every morning was going back in without feeling like there had been enough time in between to rest away the weary.

“Imogen!” Her mom called from down the hall in the washroom. “Don’t lay on your bed yet, you’ll get it all muddy!”

Imogen groaned. She didn’t care much in the moment about mud, but she knew if she laid down long enough she wouldn’t be able to get up. And sleeping clean was always better than waking up grimy. She pushed herself up on her little arms and huffed off toward her mother’s voice.

“There you are. Alright, arms up.” She said, and Imogen groggily complied as her vest was pulled off over her head. “There we go. Let’s just get you cleaned up, then right to bed, ok?”

She nodded, smiling as her mom ruffled her hair. Same color as her own.

When she got back to her room in a fresh gown with her Pa yelling goodnight from down the hall she all but collapsed, like a tree taken down at the roots. It took a few minutes but she gathered herself enough before she got too sleepy to roll over and pull her book from its hiding place, wedged between her bed and the wall.

She flipped it open to the newest page, one she’d slowly been filling in with scribbled questions, snippets, and doodles, all related to her friend in the shadows. She’d tried with little luck to catch her likeness, imaging what the girl with dark hair and fair skin and a laugh like a bunch of fireflies all escaping at once must look like. Her little boxy sketches weren’t anything special, but she wondered what Laudna would think of them if she ever saw.

And then there were questions she wanted to remember to ask her, stories she wanted to remember to tell her, and a few tally marks in the corner for days since their last visit.

She’d been waking up every day almost in a panic, having tried to keep her heavy eyes open as long as possible incase Laudna would come. She didn’t want to miss her.

She took her pencil and added one little scratch mark to the corner. Six lines for six days.

On the page slightly above it she wrote, ‘A horse kicked Master Farramore today. It was so funny how mad he got. For a guy who owns so many, they don’t seem to like him so much.’ She imagined Laudna’s reaction, something like ‘Well horses are very clever. They don’t like people just because they have money.’ And Imogen would agree, and she’d tell her about the first time she rode a rose on her own. And about that other time she almost got thrown off and daddy had to dive to catch her. And about that one nice horse that started getting grey hairs in its black mane and didn’t carry as much around the farm anymore. Just laid in the sun and brayed when you got close.

She fell asleep with her pencil still in hand, thinking of all the things she wanted to tell her.

When she woke in the morning it was with a surprised snap, not remembering falling asleep. She heard a knock on her door and hurried to slip her book back into its crevice.

“Imogen, you up?” Her Pa called.

“Mhmm.” She said as she hopped out of bed and stretched her hands above her head, feeling her tired body try and catch up.

“Good.” He said as his boots carried down the hall. She turned, fighting another yawn as she reached for her boots and then she saw a splash of color where she hadn’t expected it. And then she felt very awake.

Under the bed was a little burst of dark red. It almost blended in with the shadows it was so rich.

She dove under the bed and pulled out a singular long-stemmed rose. It was old, practically petrified, but it made the petals look like cherries when they were the absolute sweetest and would dribble down your chin. Wrapped around the base was one thin piece of paper with a scratchy note that just said, ‘To Imogen. Ramoné said you liked flowers.’ with a smile drawn in the corner and a small bird that looked like the stuffed animal. She’d forgotten all about him and laughed in a moment of awe thinking that somehow he’d been transported to Laudna. She wondered if other things could go through. She wondered, briefly, if she could… before she heard another knock at the door.

“Breakfast’s on. Get the lead out.” Her Pa called and she quickly popped up, banging her head on the underside of her bed and grumbling as she grabbed the spot that felt like a bruise.

“Imogen? What was that?”

“Nothing!” She called back, but she heard a thud and looked up to see her book had been shook free from its hiding place and landed in an open thud where she was. She panicked and closed the flower in between the pages as she heard her dad pause outside the door.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” He said cautiously. “It’s not the week to be lallygagging.”

“I know Pa! I’m coming!” She said, crawling out from under the bed and stashing the book and flower under her pillow before running to the door. She knew how he felt about her Adventure Book, even without the busy days they’d been having on the farm. She ran past him at the doorframe without slowing to not appear even the slightest bit guilty, and went to see her mom in the kitchen, trying to hide her rising excitement.

Laudna had come to visit. And she’d gotten her a flower.

That day was just as busy as all the others had been. Her Ma and Pa seemed extra tired. The long days and nights had been wearing on them, and their nerves seemed a little fried. Imogen’s would’ve been too, but she kept thinking about a certain deep red flower that had been under her bed. Picked just for her by her faraway friend.

She got distracted a few times thinking of it. Wondering what she could give her in turn. When she might get the chance to see her again. Her Pa called her name a bit louder and she jolted back to work. Grabbing her pitchfork to help move the hay. 

When they took their meal break she walked a little further from the rest of the farmhands that were sweating and resting in the shade and looked for the patches of pink peonies that grew around these parts. She wanted to find a pretty one that’s petals had already opened up and would look like they were waving to Laudna when she popped up next. She checked a few different patches before picking two that she thought looked happier than the rest and stuffed them gently in her pockets, feeling proud of her offering.

Her Ma’s voice cut through the breeze and she hurried back to her, dusting the dirt off her knees and hands. Her Pa seemed to watch her with a quirked brow as she came back and she ignored it. She was too excited. It felt like a buzzing in her chest, and she realized that… she hadn’t had a friend like Laudna before. She hadn’t had… many friends, but especially no one like Laudna. There just weren’t people like Laudna around here… people who were so free. So joyous and kind and… she couldn’t explain it, she just had a spark unlike anything but the sun itself.

And it was hard to think about anything but the idea that she may come back soon.

*******

Laudna curled up into bed that night, feeling giddy and a new sense of hopefulness. It had worked! She’d been brainstorming with Ramoné and trying to find things she could bring to Imogen to make a connection. She just hadn’t thought it would work on the first try!

But sure enough, when she appeared it was in a bedroom that was becoming familiar. Imogen had been perfectly asleep so Laudna hadn’t wanted to disturb her, and instead took comfort in resting with a friend nearby. She left the flower for the morning, hoping she’d find it, and woke back up in her own bed with Ramoné. She had tried to bring the toy with her through the dream, but was surprised when the bird hadn’t made it. Perhaps her powers still weren’t so predictable. She left the note with him in mind, wanting to reassure Imogen that he was ok and intended to come home.

“Can you believe it?” She’d whispered to the little bird. “That was her! I’m sure it was!”

Definitely. I bet she liked waking to the gift.

Laudna smiled. She’d picked the prettiest flower from the vase in the kitchen before they could get thrown out. She always liked roses, they were pretty at all stages of life, even after they’d wilted. Hopefully Imogen would like it.

“Maybe if I go earlier I can catch her awake this time.” Laudna said thoughtfully. “And maybe you’ll come too!”

Maybe so.

“You’re very easy to talk to Ramoné.” She giggled, before nuzzling into her blanket. She tried to hurry off to sleep, and pictured the room she wanted to go to on whatever piece of the world it was in. The wind outside slowly drifted off, and it was almost as if all her senses went with it, fading until it was replaced with the heavy presence of emptiness. 

That dark shadow space she was beginning to actually know and not just be thrown through appeared, and Laudna stood, or a version of it. There was no floor to feel, just directions to go, and she retraced her steps best she could, gliding through a space that echoed of her own non-being. She neared in on a feeling that was… right. It was like the space had come to greet her, accepting her, and she let the current guide her through an exit until her senses started coming back.

“I told you, this was not the time for messing around Imogen!” 

The first thing she heard was an aggressive voice, and she paled. Confused.

“Work comes first. I know you’re young, but that is no excuse for being a liability!”

The second thing she heard were soft sniffles coming from above, and she was struck by the realization that Imogen was crying. It made her terribly sad. Her hands balled into fists as she felt the floorboards beneath her and steadied herself.

“I’m sorry daddy… it was an accident.” She heard the girls small voice and she wanted so badly to hug her. To wrap around her like a shield or a feral cat, hissing at anyone who would talk to her like this. She turned her head and made out a set of heavy boots pacing the length of the mattress.

“That won’t keep Master Farramore from getting rid of us if you can’t do simple things right. Like lock the stalls after we clean them. That’s easy stuff Imogen. I know you know to do it, so you gotta stop your mind wandering all over the place so we’re not chasing mare’s all over the damn field!”

He moved toward the bed and grabbed something and she heard Imogen make a sound of surprise before-

“Is it this? Huh?? This book of yours you’re always with when you should be focusing?”

“Daddy no!” Imogen all but pleaded but he was stepping back, holding whatever book in question out of reach. Something in Laudna’s stomach dropped.

“You staying up reading this? When you know how important this season is to us? You’re jeopardizing everything when you do things like this Imogen. You have to grow up!” 

And there was a sudden sound of ripping pages that felt like they were coming from inside Laudna herself. Imogen screamed, pleading for him to stop, and Laudna had the crazy thought to crawl from right out under the bed and latch around this mans legs. To bite him and curse him and never let him make her cry again. She almost did too, until a stern voice came from the door.

“Relvan.” 

The man gruffed something but the tearing did stop, and the new voice added, equally protective, “All you’re doing is upsetting her.”

This Relvan didn’t seem to have any follow up or response, so it was quiet for a moment besides the soft cries coming from Imogen’s bed.

“She has to understand-“

“She is 7.” The voice countered. “She will still make mistakes. Give her the book back and come with me. Now.”

He sighed a deep sound, but eventually did as asked. When he stepped forward and put the book down she could see the difference in his energy. His movements were more gentle, like the fight had been taken out of him. Maybe he regretted what he did. Laudna hoped more than anything that he did.

There was another sigh from the man until he thudded out of the room, the door closing behind him, and Imogen was left alone. Crying to herself.

Laudna wrung her hands in front of her, and didn’t now what to do. She was glad they were gone, but… sad to think Imogen was on her own. There was a sound above her and the bed shifted as she looked and saw two little legs descend, shakily walking over to pick up the torn pages that had been scattered on the floor. Her sniffles were muffled like she was wiping them on her sleeve before settling back on the bed with her 

There was a broken sigh from above her, and she heard Imogen mutter to herself with the saddest voice she had ever imagined. “What am I gonna do now?”

She was so instantly sorry. And miserable, to think Imogen was this miserable. She wished she hadn’t seen it. She wished more than that that it hadn’t happened. She wished, perhaps most of all, that she could go sit by her… hold her hand… offer her a comfort. She didn’t deserve to suffer alone.

Imogen’s cries broke again and she just couldn’t help it. She had to say something.

“There there darling, it’s not so bad.”

And there was a loud gasp above her as the bed shook.

“Laudna!?” Imogen whispered, tears suddenly gone from her voice.

“It’s me! I’m sorry for my timing… I just… I’ve been trying to get to you.“

“Don’t be sorry! I’m glad you’re here! Really glad!” Imogen rushed out. “I’m just- it’s always a little surprising.”

“Yes. Maybe we should setup a bell under here or something?” She offered and heard a single chuckle from Imogen.

“Yeah. Maybe we should.”

And then silence settled and hung heavy in the room, like a blanket that had been drenched in the river. Laudna didn’t dare move as she tapped her fingertips together.

“Are you alright?” She finally had to ask.

Imogen sighed and the bed creaked as she settled onto her side. Laudna pictured her pulling her knees close to her chest.

“I’m not great. I messed up today and daddy got real mad. Said I embarrassed us. Said that I could’ve gotten someone hurt…”

“But you didn’t.” Laudna added, still feeling unreasonably defensive.

“No… guess not this time at least.”

“He was being too hard on you.” Laudna said, determinedly. And then added, because Imogen made her comfortable enough to say whatever was on her mind, “I wanted to bite him.”

That got a more heartfelt laugh from Imogen.

“You wanted to bite my dad!?”

“Well yes! He shouldn’t talk to you like that.”

Imogen kept laughing and the sound alone took some of the fight out of Laudna’s shoulders.

“I’m just imagining you coming crawling out from under the bed and nipping onto his leg like a piranha.”

Now Laudna was laughing too.

“Exactly! He’d be in for quite the scare.”

“He’d be totally shocked!” Imogen agreed, and it was lighter for a minute. Easy again.

The silence settled different this time as Imogen shifted above her again. She sounded closer, like she was leaning over the edge of the bed, and Laudna scooted herself a bit closer to the edge of where that shadow lie.

“Thank you for the flower…”

Laudna felt her cheeks go warm as she smiled so hard she thought it would break right off her face.

“You liked it!”

“Course I did… it was lovely. I got you something too…” she sounded almost bashful and it was such a cute sound. “Can I… give it to you? Or… will it mess with your magic?”

She sounded concerned.

“I don’t want you to be sent away yet…”

Laudna felt a new piece of her heart in that moment, and it hurt… in such a good way. The idea that someone would miss her… want her close? It made her insides feel like worms.

“We can certainly try.” Laudna said with a bit of hope. Wanting to do good for Imogen.

“Okay… how about… I’ll set it down for ya.” She said, sounding like her mind was thinking up a solution as quick as it could. A moment later, Imogen’s hand was gently laying down a piece of torn paper at the edge of the bed, the corner folding under the line of shadow drawn by the cot.

And then her arm disappeared and returned, this time setting down two delicate little flowers. Their petals looked unlike any Laudna had ever seen. Little ripple-like edges, overlapping each other in a nonsensical pattern, and just  in their free forming shapes.enough light coming from the moon to see the bright lavender color.

 A stunning purplish pink.

Imogen’s hand gently slid the corner of the page a little further under the bed, without crossing the threshold herself.

“Got it?” Imogen said with a bit of bashfulness. Laudna reached out and pulled the page the rest of the way.

“These… are for me?”

“Yeah. Do ya like em?”

“They’re so beautiful.” Laudna said, reaching ever so softly for the flowers and wrapping her fingers around the stem. It was almost velvety to the touch. “Imogen… thank you. I don’t know if anyone’s ever gotten me flowers.”

“Well now someone has.” She said. “And ya know… fairs fair. You got me one too.”

“Well me and Ramoné. Oh!” Laudna gasped, looking side to side and realizing that the little bird had once again stayed behind. “Imogen I’m so sorry, I’ve been trying to bring him back through. I didn’t even know he could follow me home!”

“That’s ok. I’m not mad about it. If anything…” she kind of trailed off and hummed a little sound to herself. Laudna waited. “If anything I’m a little jealous of him. Think I’d like to come through some time… see what its like where you are.”

Laudna’s heart did that little stutter again at the idea of Imogen seeing her home. Of seeing her. Of them waking up in her little cot and playing on their farm together.

“That sounds wonderful.” Laudna said in a hushed voice, almost too overwhelmed to let herself imagine it. “Maybe… I mean my powers are getting stronger. Listening to me more. Maybe one day we could.”

“I’d really like that.” Imogen said with such a sweet, wistful voice. It made Laudna’s chest feel tight. Like she couldn’t contain her own excitement in her body.

“Laudna…” there was a little hesitance to Imogen’s voice. Like she wanted to ask something but wasn’t sure how. “Can… can you try and bring something else through with you?”

“I can try anything. For you especially.” Laudna said in return.

“Can you… take my book with you when you go?” 

The book! Laudna’s eyes went wide. Whatever this book was she knew it was special if someone had hurt it to hurt her.

“Are you sure… you want me to?” Laudna asked.

“Yeah.” She imagined Imogen nodding. “I think it’ll be safer with you for a little bit… and ya know, if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. But…”

She could imagine the unsaid words of, ‘I don’t want him to rip it again. I’d rather you have it. I trust you.’

“Okay.” Laudna said determinedly. “Okay, let’s try it. And if it doesn’t work tonight then I’ll try again tomorrow and the day after and the day after.”

She heard a sigh of relief and imagined Imogen smiling down at her. She heard her fingers tap tentatively on the book cover, and then it was being set down beside the page on the ground. It was a very handsome book. Bigger than her head, leather bound, and clearly loved and cared for. The stack of torn pages were shoved in the front and spilling slightly out of the sides. With the same care as before, Imogen pushed the corner of the book under the bed and then withdrew before breeching the shadow.

Laudna reached out and pulled it closer, wrapping it to her chest in her arm protectively and holding her flowers in the same hand.

“Thank you Laud.”

“Of course.”

She heard a blanket rustle and Imogen sighed a breath that sounded comfortable and calm and Laudna was proud that she’d been able to help her sound like that.

“I really wish…” Imogen started but paused again and Laudna hummed for her to continue. “Really wish I could hold your hand.”

“Me too.” She answered instantly, and her fingers itched to reach out. But she knew how this went… in the past if anyone broke the plane of her shadow it was over. And if she did it was the same.

But even still… Imogen uncurled her hand and let it dangle off the side of the bed, palm out facing Laudna. An invitation.

Laudna walked her fingers to the edge of the dark line.

She took a deep breath.

And then reached past the line in a burst, and for a second... she felt her hand make contact with another.

Then she felt like she was turning to a mist- the room fell away- and she was shadow walking again.

She flung through the dark back to her body, and though it was always jarring, she couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. Because for a moment... she'd felt those fingers reach back for her. For a moment it had worked! Her powers were growing, and she had a friend, and flowers, and there finally seemed a benefit to having these powers...

They finally felt like a good thing.

When she pulled herself out from under her blanket and looked up she was met with something entirely unexpected. Her parents, standing by the foot of her bed, and whispering to each other, confused expressions on their face.

When she moved they both turned and there was a new look there… one of fear.

Now she was confused... why were they... looking at her like that?

And then she looked down and saw what they were holding. 

Ramoné was in her mother's hands… and they were staring at her like they’d never seen her before.

She swallowed hard... and was left with this sudden... terrible... nagging feeling…

That everything was about to be wrong.

Chapter Text

“I really wish…”

Imogen wiped the last bit of tears from her cheek. It was kind of amazing, she’d almost forgotten she was even crying. Laudna had that kind of effect, she turned bad to good.

“Really wish I could hold your hand.”

It felt silly to say it, like a breeze suddenly blowing when you didn’t expect, but also like a bunch of junebugs tapping around in her stomach.

“Me too.” Came the voice, and she smiled into the back of her hand. The junebugs tapped harder. Laudna was just so sweet… so quick to be sweet. She didn’t know a lot of sweet people.

Her hand reached over the end of the bed, dangling where she knew the other girl could see. Not really expecting anything, she knew Laudna couldn’t reciprocate. She’d said her powers didn’t work that way-

And then she felt it. The quick cold touch of another hand, and she gasped. 

In the next second she heard a wisp from under the bed, and couldn’t stifle her curiosity as she stuck her head over the edge and looked. Sure enough, an empty space. No Laudna. But also no book, no flowers, besides the one pressed rose that she had still by her pillow.

She curled into her blanket and pulled the flower she’d been gifted out with a small chuckle of awe. Those junebugs were really going to town. She hugged her other hand to her chest as she drifted off, feeling the cool tingling sensation remain from where a shadow had tried to reach for her hand…

*******

Imogen ran to her room the next night, her jacket wrapped up in a bundle in her arms. Her parents hadn’t bothered her much on the walk, daddy giving her a wider berth after the previous night, and now she waited eagerly to hear their footsteps move down the hall and away from her room before she slowly unwrapped her smuggled secret.

Out on the fields she’d found something in the grass. A beat-up, old bell, probably one that had used to belong on a steer or door that was long gone, and her eyes had lit up remembering her conversation with Laudna. She’d taken it so quickly she’d barely looked at it. Couldn’t have told you what color it was. But now she’d unfurled her new treasure and shifted it gently in hand to take a closer look.

It was a grey bell, dirty as all get out, and rusted over on one side. There was a dent that almost bent it in half, and it had certainly seen better days. She looked at the door again, as if to check that the coast was clear, and then hopped off her bed and stood over her wastebasket in the corner and started using the ends of her jacket to clean as much muck as she could off. It wouldn’t do for it to be nasty. Laudna didn’t deserve nasty.

Once satisfied with her handiwork she gave it an experimental little shake to make sure it still rang, and as soon as she heard the little sound she grabbed the sides to stop the ringing, not wanting to alert her parents.

She nodded, satisfied at the result. It would be perfect.

She crawled on hands and knee under the bed and set the bell by the far wall and chuckled to herself.

“Imogen. Water’s ready!”

“Coming!” She hollered back to her mom as she scurried back out from under her mattress. Secret firmly in place for her friend when she returned.

********

The thing was… she didn’t come back.

Not that night. Not for a lot of nights. She’d check each morning and each night. She still dusted under there regularly. She was getting concerned… why had she stopped coming?

The bell sat there every morning, glinting off early light and reminding her that it had gone unwrung the night before. She’d frown at it, wondering why Laudna couldn’t get back… why she didn’t return…

She smuggled a small piece of rope from work one day and tied the bell up along the underside of her bed so it would be more inviting. She tied a note to the rope too, that said simply, ‘Hi Laudna! Ring this til I wake up! I want to talk to you!’

She hoped if she made the space more inviting it would somehow summon her friend back.

But nothing changed… not for months…

Her daddy asked her one morning on the walk, looking over his shoulder at her, “Haven’t seen that book of yours in awhile… what happened to it?”

He seemed a little awkward when he asked it, like it was a forced conversation. Maybe Ma told him to ask. But she was too focused on why Laudna had gone missing that she just simply shrugged.

“Don’t have it around anymore.”

He grimaced a bit. Ma had stayed home that day. She’d been sick with fever for a few weeks and the workload hadn’t gotten any easier. But she loved returning at night and giving Ma a big hug and telling her about her day. When it was just her and Pa it made her really miss her…

He gruffed a response and adjusted his hat, but she saw a bit of a grimace on his face.

“You know… I’m really proud of you.”

Imogen snapped her eyes to him. She hadn’t expected that...

“I don’t… tell you that all that often… but I know how hard this all must be for you.” He looked at his feet as he talked as if it was easier but finally stopped walking all together and turned back to look her in the eye. She came to a stop next to him. “I know it is… and your Ma and I… we’re both really proud of you helping us out. And when things are a little more stable… hopefully we’ll be able to get you to school like your friends. You won’t have to spend all your life as a farmhand.”

He sighed a breath and shook his head before putting his hand on top of her hair, ruffling it affectionately. “My little shooting star…”

And then he smiled, a thin one, but one that reached to his eyes and crinkled them in their tired little lines that barely ever did. And then Imogen smiled too. She hugged her daddy’s leg like she used to and he held her back for a second, then gave her a pat on her shoulder to say they should keep moving. And for a few moments she forgot about missing Laudna. She just wanted to keep her parents proud.

********

She celebrated her eight birthday. Ma made her a yellow cake, her favorite. She was surprised Ma went through the trouble. She’d been mostly bed-ridden since the summer. Headaches that practically crippled her, hands dry and shaking almost all the time. But she’d gotten up while they’d been at work to make a cake, and even managed to sit shakily at the table and smile at her through dinner while they ate together.

Her daddy plopped into his chair with a sigh across from her and smiled, sliding her a wrapped box with a wink.

“Gifts after cake Relvan.” Ma said with a shake of her head.

“What? Since when is that a rule? Look how excited she is.” Daddy said good-naturedly, and sure enough Imogen’s cake had been momentarily abandoned to grab ahold of the box and shake it with excitement. She didn’t often get presents. She looked between her parents.

“Can I open it?”

“Can she?” Daddy said, looking over to Ma who smiled back at her.

“Alright alright. Go nuts.” she conceded.

Imogen lit up and tore open the butchers paper around the box before flipping it open to see-

“A new hat?” She looked between her parents with wide eyes.

“Yeah. Now you’ll match your daddy.” Ma said with a soft smile, and reached over to gingerly help lift it up and fit it around her head. “Look at that, fits just right.”

She smiled back at her, beaming, and hopped up to give Pa a hug.

“Now that’s a sharp looking 8 year old.” Pa said as he gave her a big hug, then stood with a groan and scooped her up. “Dang you’re getting big. I won’t be able to do this much longer.” Imogen chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was a good night.

When they’d cleaned up she went back to her room and paused at the door, eyes darting immediately to the space beneath the bed. Every time she walked in it made her chest hurt a little. She didn’t know why she missed her so much… she’d only talked to her a handful of times… but… still…

She curled up on the bed, hanging her new hat off the bedpost beside her and stared at it, then her eyes went to the sill under her window where the petrified rose still sat.

“You know… I think the only present I would really want… is to talk to you again.” She said to the room before curling tighter under her blankets.

*********

Imogen is 9 when her daddy tells her he’s worried.

Ma hasn’t gotten better. She’s been sick for a long time now, and she’s changing. Doctors have been out to see her, but they can’t explain it. And Ma refuses to see them anymore when they come by.

Her and Pa have been arguing more. She hear’s pieces of it through the walls and tries to hide under her pillow, muffling their cries and screams and the sound of Pa marching out of the house and slamming the door behind him.

When the two of them walk to work he’s quieter. Shorter with her.

But one day he’s staring at the horizon during their lunch break and he hasn’t eaten.

“Pa?” She asked softly, like she was talking to a spooked mare. His eyes darted back to her, almost surprised. 

“I don’t know what else to do for her…” he said suddenly, like his world was crashing down and he just now realized it.

“Yeah… me neither.” Imogen said, the worry she’d been feeling rearing to the surface. She held out his sandwich all the same. “But it won’t do any good to worry on an empty stomach.”

He blinked before shaking his head with a hum, taking the offered sandwich and taking a bite.

“I’m sorry…” He said after a few moments of them just eating, taking another bite. “That we missed signing you up for the semester again. I just… I thought she’d get better by now. Thought we’d be in a better spot.”

Imogen took another bite of her sandwich and stared at the grass. It was easier that they didn’t look at each other when they talked.

“It’s ok.” She said. Because it was. Because yes Imogen wanted to go to school, but more than that, she wanted Ma to be better.

**********

Imogen is 10 when Ma is gone.

They come home one day and she’s just… not there. Not in bed.

She’d been talking a lot more gibberish. Having splitting headaches, looking at everyone that came by her as if she could see through them with these lingering gazes that were unsettling. She’d been getting weaker too, frailer. Like she’d forgotten to eat or care for herself.

But then one day they came home and she wasn’t in her room.

Pa had turned pale in the face and run outside screaming her name all over their little plot. Just echoes of “LILY!” and “MA!” 

He and Imogen had run into town, asking if anyone had seen her. Asked Faramore himself if he’d heard anything. Checked every doctor or hospital she could have ended up at. Pa went to the morgue without Imogen to see if he could identify a body.

They turned Gelvan inside out and upside down but… she just wasn’t there.

After the shock wore off they were advised by the chief doctor that she had probably wandered off in the throws of her fever and… slipped away somewhere she couldn’t get back from.

Pa didn’t know what to say. Imogen didn’t know what to do. It just didn’t make sense… Ma couldn’t be gone. Just gone.

Gone like Laudna.

That night when Imogen got in bed she took the rose from the sill and held it to her chest crying silently.

“Please come back.” She said over and over into her covers, not sure which one she was talking to.

***********

Imogen is 11 when the nightmares start.

She woke in a storm of red that felt like it smothered her down to her core, and amidst the whipping winds and dust burning her eyes she heard her mother’s voice clear as day… begging for her to run. She yelled back for her.

“Ma! Where are you! I can’t- I can’t find you!”

She woke up screaming. Tears had split down her cheeks. Her daddy had come running in from the other room looking around for anyone that might be attacking his girl, but it was just her. Just her own mind on the attack. He came forward and held her, confusion in his voice as he asked her what happened, but she couldn’t calm down. Couldn’t gather her thoughts. Just kept crying into his shirt.

He didn’t come to her room again after the first night.

Now when Imogen wakes up crying she tries to suppress it. To hide it. Because the way he looked at her after the first night, she could see that fear was back. And it was directed at her now. She didn’t want him to be scared for her… of her… however it was… she didn’t want it. So she tried to pretend the dreams hadn’t come when they had. Tried to come up with her own routine for dealing with it.

When she’d wake she’d lay in bed and take 8 deep breaths, and then 8 more if it didn’t work. Then walk down the hall carefully as she could and get a glass of water for herself, avoiding the creaky floorboards to not make a sound as she made her way back to bed. She didn’t know why she walked around her own house like she was breaking in… but it had become her way to not take up too much space. To not draw any attention to herself that could further distance her from her father.

One such night when she returned to her room and gingerly closed the door she heard something… a slight ringing… sound… and she dropped to her knees almost on instinct, peeking under the bed while trying to keep her nerves from firing off, to see-

A mouse. A little white and black mouse standing on his hind legs and sniffing the bell she’d strung up under her bed what felt like forever ago.

When she still had a friend… and a book… and a mom…

She laid there for awhile just staring as it scurried away into a small hole in the wall, then shook her head and returned to bed.

Sleep didn’t return… but she laid there anyway, pretending.

************

Imogen turned 12 by herself. Daddy wasn’t home, so she made her own dinner. Some bread and soup. She took a walk around the property and climbed a tree to look out over the sunset. She had a small pocket knife and a lump of wood that she’d been carving for a bit. It was starting to look a little more like a horse. Four legs at least.

Once it was dark and the fireflies had come out she descended and headed inside, washing herself up and changing into night time clothes. Daddy didn’t come home before she’d put herself to bed.

Sleep was calm at first... but then it changed… and the dread came quickly.

When her eyes opened to the dream she found the now familiar storm meeting her. She put a hand up to block her face from the dust and she grimaced. Great way to start the new year… same as the last.

She waited to hear her mother’s voice… maybe it’d tell her happy birthday… but most likely just to run… same as always…

 But then instead… she hold a wholly different voice, that said-

“Imogen?”

And she shot awake.

She sat up straight as a board, sweat around her brow, and looked side to side. The room was empty, the dream still buzzing in the back of her mind. That voice… that voice…

Then beneath her bed… she heard it…

A ring of the bell… subtle… almost like a gentle breeze. She stilled for a second, but then huffed and mumbled out loud, “I’m not in the mood Mr. Rat.”

The bell stopped, and that made Imogen pause. She hadn’t expected the rat to listen. She breathed once... twice... and then-

“Who’s Mr. Rat? He sounds lovely.”

That made Imogen jump up to her feet, standing a top her sheets.

The voice… the one in her dream, the one now under her bed…

“Laudna?!”

“Hi there… it’s been awhile…” She sounded almost sheepish, like her voice was drifting in and out.

“What are you- why are you here? Now-“ Imogen’s voice was a bit of a mess. Her thoughts were raising. She had so many questions. But the first one that formed coherently, “Were you in my dream?”

There was a slight shifting sound under the bed.

“Yes… I think I was… I saw you in a red storm… and I wanted to call out to you.” she was quiet for a moment, then added. “You’re very pretty. It was nice getting to see you…”

Imogen went quiet, her heart and mind racing. She put her hands up to her head and sat back down on the bed, legs crossed, and let out a confused, almost bemused, chuckle.

“I don’t understand… you’ve been gone… for years?? And now you just show up again?"

There was another shifting sound under the bed, and it had a nervousness that she also felt radiating off of herself. What did you say to a not-monster under the bed after 5 years apart?

“Yes… I suppose it has been years… they’ve been rather unkind.”

That got Imogen’s eyes to crease, some of the intense feeling she was having immediately flipped to something else. Something concerned.

“Are you okay?” She asked, unable to help it.

“Oh yes! Of course. Only… only not really.” Her voice sounded eager to assure but then shifted almost mid-sentence. Like no one had really asked her that. Imogen’s eyes went up to the flower on the sill. Practically mulch now, but still… special.

“Why did you come back tonight?” Imogen said softly.

“I’ve been wanting to come back for so long…” her voice sounded pained. “I’ve gotten… close before, but… it wasn’t safe.”

Wasn’t safe?

“But tonight… I don’t know… I was thinking of you… and it was like your dream came to me.”

Imogen pulled her knees to her chest. She was confused. She was… a lot of things… but… Laudna was here. She was here.

There was a wisp under the bed and for a moment she panicked that she had left and opened her mouth to call for her, before she heard the wisp return, and then a sliding under the bed. She turned and saw the remnants of a shadowed mist and… a glass of water. Sitting on her floor. She blinked at it.

“What… how did you do that?”

“Oh I… I went over to your kitchen and got you a glass of water real quick. I… mother used to do that for me when I had bad dreams as a kid.”

Imogen blinked, and reached for the glass, hand shaking ever so slightly.

“You can do that?”

“Oh- yes, I can do more things now.”

Imogen sipped her water. This whole conversation… it was hard for her to even believe it was happening.

“You hung a bell under here for me?”

Imogen felt her face flush slightly. She didn’t know why but... it was odd having such a clear sign of her care for Launda seen by her. Her features softened.

“Yeah… a long time ago…”

“That’s so sweet.” Laudna said, the pain still in her voice. “I… Imogen I have a lot I feel like I should tell you… but I don’t know how long I can stay.”

“Because it’s not safe?” Imogen asked, that concern coming back.

“Because it’s not safe.” Laudna confirmed.

“Are you safe?” Imogen asked, suddenly feeling very protective.

Laudna chuckled.

“I don’t want you to worry… but I don’t think my answer to that is very good.”

That made Imogen’s heart hurt.

“Will you come back?”

There was a quiet, and then- “If you want me to… yes. I have some of your things I’m very overdue in returning.”

Imogen’s breath caught.

“Okay… tomorrow?” Imogen asked, probably too hopeful.

“Tomorrow… yes. I’d…” her voice drifted again, and then broke in a sweet remnant of that seven year old girl she’d known. “I really missed you Imogen.”

And then she heard the wisp under the bed of her vanishing before she could even respond that of course, she’d missed her too.

Chapter Text

Imogen had replayed every word of their conversation about a million times before the sun rose.

She had been so stunned hearing Laudna she’d barely gotten a word in that wasn’t attached to a stupefied question. But Laudna’s responses…

I saw you in a red storm…

You’re very pretty…

I’ve been wanting to come back for so long…

It wasn’t safe…

I really missed you Imogen…

She came to the realization… of just how much she’d missed her too.

And she was eager, borderline desperate, to see her again tonight.

She just wanted to understand.

Understanding felt like forgiveness… and a future… and a friend… 

One she may only see in her dreams, but wouldn’t it be grand if her dreams could carry a different tune? Could have a friend there too?

The day seemed like a waste, a barrier keeping her from getting back to her long-lost, and hopefully, soon-to-be-reunited Laudna.

But the day came all the same.

************

And it stunk. It rained from the time the sun was halfway up in the sky, and didn’t letup. The downpour turned the stables into one big mud puddle. Every step taking extra effort to pull her boots from the squelch of the mud, and focus to land without slipping back into the same mess.

Water droplets beaded off the end of her hat as she brushed the back of her hand across her eyes, trying to wipe some of the sweat and rain away but merely smearing it with the already soaked sleeve of her coat.

Flora brushed up against the back of her arm and she smiled for the first time all day, huffing a small laugh at the sign of affection.

“What’s gotten into you old girl?”

Flora brayed softly and swished her tail side to side, bumping her again with her snout. Imogen relented and gave a few scratches under her chin.

“I’m here I’m here… I’m just all outta sorts.” Imogen sighed, eyes turning to a sad frown and drifting to the ground. Her stomach dropped now that she was thinking about it. “What if she doesn’t come back?”

“What if who doesn’t come back?” Pa’s voice caught her so off guard she gasped and turned on her heel to face him, coming around the side with two mare’s on ropes. Imogen froze with her hands on Flora like she’d been caught doing something wrong, but she swallowed and held his crooked eye for a second while he tried to piece out what she may be talking about.

“Um… nothing Pa.”

He took a step closer, guiding the horses who were starting to get antsy.

“Imogen… who?” He asked again, sounding more stern but still left out in the dark.

Her mind filled in the only answer that would drop this conversation, and she muttered, “Ma.”

And as expected he sucked in a breath and they were left in relative quiet.

She thought he’d walk away, but instead he came closer, and squatted with a sigh.

“Imogen… she’s not… she’s not coming back.” He said with a wavering tone like he was trying to sound final, but was burying a bit of hope under that answer.

“I know… I just… missed her.” She said softly, and it was truth enough. She was just mostly thinking about the other woman she’s been missing as well. 

Pa let out a long sigh through his nose, stepping back as the horses pulled, eager to get back to their stalls.

“Me too.” He said under his breath, almost to the point Imogen missed it. But for both their sakes, she went ahead and pretended she had.

************

The storm didn’t end with the work day so they walked home in it, silently. Pa looked like he wanted to reach out to her a few times… but he didn’t. As always. And she didn’t linger, she had other things on her mind. Once they were home she hurried onto the porch, sliding her wet boots off and leaving them by the door, hanging her wet coat up on the inside hook and shivering immediately as the cool air hit her wet skin. She shuffled off to her room as her father was hanging his coat.

She wrapped her arms around her waist to trap some warmth while dripping as little as possible on the hardwood floor on her way to grab fresh clothes. And then as her hand hit the knob-

Nothing was wildly different in her room. Furniture was where she left it, the smell was the same, but on the center of her bed was the change that mattered and froze Imogen in the doorway, before she was snapping to and closing the door tightly behind her as if to keep a secret all for herself.

On the bed were three things that hadn’t been when she left.

A stuffed bird… 

A leather-bound book… 

And the cup from the night before… with one dark rose perched in it, like a makeshift vase.

Her hands were shaking as she reached for the neat little alter. Her fingers hit the petals and she laughed a breath of surprise. She shifted the cup back to her nightstand with a smile that felt like it warmed her from the inside out. The bird she scooped up next, gingerly, and examined at eye-level. Ramoné… that had been his name.

Ma had made him… tears built behind her eyes as she remembered holding the toy up proudly to her, then running around the kitchen table and chasing daddy with it. His black-blue felt had begun to grey, but she could see the care that had been put into preserving him over the years. There were spots of red thread that she ran a finger over, carefully tracing the craftsmanship that had been devoted to the little raven.

She hugged him to her chest, forgetting for a moment that she was drenched, and caught a whiff of something else. Something like fall leaves, and cinnamon, and an open air that was different than how air in Gelvan smelled. She chuckled again. Laudna’s smell perhaps… catching onto him as well.

When Imogen lifted her head she laid eyes on the last thing a top her sheets… her old adventure book…

The book she had been inseparable from. The place she had felt free to share her self, unfiltered and unafraid…

She’d almost forgotten about it. Whenever she was thinking of things missing it was Laudna… not the book or the bird.

She flipped open the cover with a delicate finger and was met with the handwriting of her much younger self, and she smiled in a way she hadn’t since she was probably that young. It was a reminder of the Imogen that had been. Adventurous and carefree and lighter… She was still in there.

Between the first few pages she saw the flowers she’d flattened and leaves she’d saved. Doodles of bugs and horses. Outlandish theories of all her yet-to-be exploits. Retellings of funny tales on the farm. And as she flipped to a page she held her breath- Not for what was on the page, but how the page itself was there.

It had been reattached. Right at the seam where she saw the tear lines from Pa… a waxy substance glimmered in the low light that coated the front and back of the page. And the next one. And the next one. Laudna… had fixed it.

She chuckled again in disbelief before hearing a knock at the door and snapping out of her daydreaming.

“Imogen…” She heard, going sitting stiff as a board.

“Yeah?” She called back, testing the waters. She heard her dad shift his weight from foot to foot, and after a long pause he added-

“Don’t forget to hang up your wet clothes.”

“I won’t.” She called back, a bit louder as she heard him wander away, and then she popped up from where she was kneeling by the bed to go to her dresser and rustle some dry clothes. The original task she came to do before-

She paused again, looking from the door to her bed.

“Laudna?” She whispered, a bit of hope creeping in.

But the room stayed silent, so she tried again. “Laudna? You here?”

And when the silence came again to answer her back she closed her eyes and tried not to deflate. Just cause she wasn’t here now didn’t mean she wouldn’t be.

She nodded at her internal confirmation and then finished grabbing her clothes to get changed.

************

Pa had gone to his room and not come back out, which was fine. Imogen had done much the same. She brought a candle from the kitchen and propped it on her nightstand, then perched a-top her bed with her long lost book, flipping through it while she waited. She let herself still hold onto the idea that Laudna was coming back.

If you want me to… yes. I have some of your things I’m very overdue in returning.

That phrase kept coming back to her. Surely she wasn’t only coming to bring back the things. The things were secondary. Laudna was first and foremost the thing Imogen had hoped for tonight. So she’d let herself keep hoping, for at least a little bit.

The trip down memory lane proved to be a pleasant distraction. Between the pages was a feather from a red hen glued into place. Scribbles of an even younger Imogen learning to sign her name. Drawings of her on a boat in the sky… as if the realist in her couldn’t help but snark. Her throat tightened as she got closer to what she remembered being the end… the pages where she had written questions for Laudna…

And when she got to them, she had to do a double take. Around the margins and on the space beneath her own words, she saw a different writing all together. One more wavy and loopy, and with the little she knew of Laudna, she thought the could have picked it out of a lineup that this is exactly how the other girl would have written.

Suddenly the book was much more interesting. Imogen sat up straighter, closer to the light, and looked around to see the little annotations that had been added with the essence of the shadow girl. Around the doodles Imogen had made guessing how she looked, there were smiley faces and laughs and follow ups. You draw my hair much better, I wish it looked this good. Or, I’m not nearly so strong sadly, my brothers always said my arms were basically noodles. And a, This dress actually looks just like the one my mother made me. You must be a mind-reader.

And Imogen’s smile was practically foreign to her own face. It was the kind of smile so strong it hurt in her gut, but she read over every answer and note at least three times.

‘Have you ever ridden a horse?’

Yes but it nearly bucked me off twice before succeeding on the third. They’re very strong creatures.

‘What’s your favorite color?’

A deep deep red that’s almost blue.

‘Do you have any pets?’

I like to pretend all the critters on my parents land are my pets, but the toad by the pond, Lumpus, is my favorite. Don’t tell the others!

It was like filling in for lost time, having these pieces of them mixed in print… It made those junebugs she hadn’t seen in as long as she’d seen Laudna start tapping away again. It made her heart heavy in a good way.

It made her wish Laudna would hurry to her already.

The night carried the soft sound of the rain, lessened but still falling, and her candle burned lower and lower. Almost half its stem had been reduced to a puddle as her eyes were growing heavy.

She tapped the book, junebugs turning to an anxiousness in her ribs.

And then-

din-a-lin-a-lin-lin.

The bell rang softly beneath the bed and Imogen’s whole body tensed, the pressure of her hope nearly folding her in half.

“Laudna…?” She whispered, open invite to the room.

“Hello Imogen.”

Imogen was no longer tired, eyes shooting up and a familiar grin spreading across her lips.

“You’re here!” She said, a quiet excitement that nearly was too much to contain.

“I am! I tried to come earlier… left you what was rightfully yours but… had to double back.”

There was this war in her tone, of nerves and grace. She sounded just as happy as Imogen was to be in the same room, but… the bits that snuck in… the pieces where she was clearly afraid… they tugged at something deep in Imogen that she wasn’t sure how to handle.

“I was really worried when I saw them… that you weren’t coming…” she confided. “Thank you by the way… for…”

She let the sentence slip away in contemplation and Laudna made no attempt to finish it. Imogen eventually cleared her throat and added, “well for a few things.”

Her eyes scanned Ramonè by her foot, the flower in her cup, and the book… still held in her lap.

“But for… fixing it.” She said, fingertips grazing the edge of the pages.

“You’re very welcome… I like fixing things… especially for friends.” Laudna’s voice was so warm and genuine Imogen couldn’t help but smile wider.

She let them sit in that feeling a little longer, enjoy each others company, wondering who was going to ask the big question first and deciding when she wanted to break the silence herself.

“I was surprised…” Laudna finally said. “When you asked for me to return.”

Imogen scrunched her brow.

“Why’s that?” She asked softly.

Laudna sighed. “Well… I’ve been gone for so long… I thought you’d just move on from me… or… be upset… or… I don’t know, that you’re opinion would be different. Maybe you wouldn’t want the shadow girl under your bed skulking around anymore.“

Imogen sighed too, but tried for a smile. It was a big thing but… she’d already made her mind up on it.

“I kind of thought I might be those things too… but then I heard your voice… and I just wanted to keep hearing it, ya know?”

She heard Laudna breathe out a little sharp surprise and it lifted her up.

“I’m sorry I kept your things from you.” She said smally. “I really meant to bring them back, but that was before…” she trailed off again.

“Before what?” Imogen asked, sensing the larger topic they’d been building to.

Laudna sighed again but remained quiet, and Imogen could almost hear her mind whirling to get the words in order.

“Laud… I’m not going to be upset with you or anything… I just really want to know.” Imogen tried, feeling concern build again. “Wouldn’t you want to know what hurt your best friend?”

“Best friend?” Laudna said with a small voice like a mouse given cheese and Imogen had to smile.

“Well yeah… not just anyone makes it into my adventure book you know.” Imogen teased. “Very exclusive list.” And Laudna laughed, a real one, and it made Imogen’s whole world bright to hear it again.

Laudna cleared her throat shyly, and took another deep breath, readying herself.

“Okay… I’ll tell you everything I can.”

************

Laudna’s heart was beating a mile a minute. She was in Imogen’s room again. Imogen wanted her there, even still, and now… she was going to tell her the dark parts. The parts that still plagued her. Scared her. Kept her up at night like a rope around her throat…

Laudna swallowed and exhaled through her nose, flexing her bandaged fingers at her side. They’d mostly healed all things considered. She’d been doing good… they’d taken her ‘lessons’ lightly.

“So… I suppose I should start at the beginning.” She said finally and Imogen was quick to agree.

“This power I have… I’d discovered it when I was very young. Purely accidental, and thought it was a dream really. But then as I got older it kept happening… more and more frequently, and in a way I knew it was real. The details were too clear, the circumstance not quite random enough, and the people I met…” well person really. The one above her. “Were beyond me. So I accepted it but… kept it secret. Told none of my brothers or sister or parents. It just felt… to big to share.”

“That makes sense.” Imogen said softly, voice encouraging as Laudna gathered her will to press on.

“When we first met… those were the only times I had tried to control it. Tried to target it… wield it… not just make it disappear, or allow it to happen. I wanted… to use the power instead of it using me. And it worked a few times… even bringing Ramonè through.”

She smiled thinking of her raven friend. Had been a lovely companion over the years. She was glad he’d gotten home.

“But after that last time we talked… when we were younger… my parents found out. I woke to them standing over me, seeing what I’d done… what I’d become… and… they didn’t take it well. Were a bit stunned to see their daughter surrounded in shadows and dark magic.”

She could still see their faces and it made a shiver run down her spine, even now.

“And then what happened?” Imogen asked with a gentle curiousness.

“Hmm… I made the horrible mistake of telling them the truth.” Laudna said, closing her eyes and blocking out the rush of images that came after of them dragging her into town in the early hours of the morning, whispering madly back and forth, and ignoring her questions of, “Mama, Papa, where are we going?” Until they were at the temple and begging a cleric for guidance.

“They’d never seen magic like this, and worried it was a curse.” Laudna’s voice cracked to her own ear and she sniffled, realizing her eyes suddenly stung and felt like they’d break. “It wasn’t there fault, you see, they were just out of their depth.” Laudna assured, nodding at her own explanation as she had many times before.

“And they wanted to leave me there. See if I could be ‘purified’ or ‘saved’ or at the least… cleansed from the land I suppose.”

Even at a young age she’d understood their tones. It’d felt like betrayal. It’d felt like the end… It was in a way.

“But someone else showed up, a ward of the De Rolo’s and mentioned that the Lady Sorcerer who worked in the castle may have use for something like me. That maybe this curse could find purpose, and that they should consider it an honor to bring something of value to the court such as this.”

Laudna paused.

“Such as me.”

Her breathing sped up as the early memories came. Being lead up to the castle by four guards on either side. Feeling so small as she went up these grand stairs… looking over her shoulder for her parents who had already long since gone. And eventually… meeting her.

“The Lady Sorcerer?” Imogen asked, voice sounding clouded.

“Yes… I’ve come to know her as Lady Briarwood. Or, Delilah… when she asks me to call her that.” Laudna winced. She didn’t often speak of her, but she wished not-often was never.

“And she’s the one who hurts you?” Imogen asked, an incredulous edge turning into the ends of her words. One born of protectiveness Laudna didn’t feel worthy enough to be afforded.

“She’s done many things… but yes. She’s hurt me.” Laudna said, trying to sum up the explanation without diving into too many details. She wished to spare Imogen the understanding of how she’d been given a cell, and every other adornment was considered reward. A blanket. A bed. A glass of water. It all had to be earned. And earned through developing her power with the shadow… a place she had come to know like a second home. Perhaps her only true home now… “She’s really a quite powerful sorcerer.”

“I don’t care who she is if she hurts you Laud.” Imogen said, and Laudna heard the first cry break through her voice. Suddenly she felt somehow too big and too small for her skin.

“Oh- I’m so sorry, don’t- don’t cry for little old me Imogen, it’s fine. Truly.”

“It is NOT.” Imogen said, cries coming more ragged. “I was- gods, I was so confused why you left but- it was because they’re hurting you? Holding you- like some animal to be studied? And for what?? Why… why you?”

Laudna took a deep breath, feeling her emotions getting the better of her. Having permission to be exposed they seemed to all want out at once.

“Delilah can walk in the shadows like I can… but not as far. She says she’s strengthening me… wants to know my limits to break and reshape them…” Laudna said, her own tears carving past her cheeks. It was so interesting telling someone of her own personal hell. The isolation had been almost as intense as the punishments she’d been dealt, but now… it felt lighter to let someone in.

“What do you want Laud?” Imogen asked, somberly and still with a slight wobble to her words.

Laudna sniffled, wiping her eyes on the back of her wrist and smiling. “Right now? More than anything I think just to hold your hand…”

She heard Imogen gasp softly above her.

“Can you?” Imogen asked in a delicate voice. One that made Laudna want to wrap her up in a blanket and hide her from the parts of the world that she’d seen.

Laudna swallowed, suddenly feeling a tingling in her palm… an eagerness. Instead of answering, she showed her with action. 

Her arm reached out and as her form broke the line of abnormal shadows that followed her here, they wrapped her illusory self in them, turning her normal, thin arm into a dreadfully dark claw. She heard Imogen gasp again, and she almost apologized. Afraid she’d overstepped, and shown her something too dark, but then in the next flash a pressure was against her palm, and fingers wrapped around hers. A comforting, clutching embrace.

“This is you…” Imogen said, almost dumbfounded.

“This is me… at least the me that you can see.”

Imogen let out another long breath before shifting a top her bed, and then went a step further and threading their fingers together. Laudna truly thought her heart would stop. Who would need it anyway? But the overwhelming acceptance… never in her wildest dreams. Imogen was really just that special.

There were still things to tell her, things to ask her, but for right now… it was enough.

She loved the sensation of having her friend close, even through this phantom form. She breathed slow and steady, but that was a lie because her breath was neither of those things. And for this moment… it didn’t matter what hells waited for her on the other side of tomorrow or yesterday, it mattered that right now… she was with her best friend… and her hand was warm against her own.

It had been so long since she’d been warm.

Chapter Text

When Laudna blinked awake the first thing she checked was her hand. Still pale with the veins purpling under the thinning skin, but she swore it tingled.

She smiled as she curled her fingers around each other and pulled them to her chest, like she was shielding a lightning bug.

Imogen held my hand…

A crazy, impossible thing she’d wanted to do so long ago she finally could. Had, even.

Maybe crazy good things could still happen. Not just crazy bad.

And Imogen… oh she was so cute. Bright and vibrant and unlike anyone Laudna had ever met. Not that she met many people, many good ones anyway, but her vibrant hair and eyes, the way the storm curled around her in that dream space… like she wielded it… she almost couldn’t believe she’d gotten to talk to someone like that.

That someone like that had asked Laudna to stay and talk and be a friend… incredible.

She heard footsteps echo out in the hallway leading to her chamber and roused herself from her daydreaming.

She put on her stone smile, the one she’d survived most of her days with, and buried the memory. Best not to be distracted… and absolutely couldn’t give them any indication of her joy.

They’d just find a way to turn it against her.

************

Imogen woke up staring at her hand that still dangled over the edge of her bed. She felt awed in a way she couldn’t give words to, remembering the night before.

What Laudna had told her… the things she’d gone through… but she’d come back. No one who’d left had come back before.

She almost didn’t dare move her hand, on the off chance Laudna could reach up any second and rethread their fingers and she’d feel that jumpstart of excitement in her chest again.

She’d fallen asleep with that soft, cooling pressure on her palm, and asking as she felt her mind finally lulling off from exhaustion, “Will you come back again?”

There had been a slight shift, as if surprised, but then the shadowed sweet voice had returned, “As soon as I can.”

And she believed it as she drifted off to sleep.

Now that she was awake a nagging voice in her mind echoed, You believed her last time too…

But then she thought of that soft waver to her voice, her eyes drifted to her Adventure Book on the nightstand by the rose.

She’d come back once… might as well believe she’d come back again.

************

Laudna laid in ‘bed’ that next night, a split lip from her training, and exhaustion seeping between her bones. Well to clarify, ‘bed’ was a generous term, but she didn’t know how else to phrase it. ‘Laudna laid in floor that night’ sounded pathetic, even if it was closer to the truth.

She pulled the burlap sack she’d cut in half and sewn into her version of a blanket closer. She found the lighter patch of stone where she’d worn the edges down with a blunter stone in the shaky rectangular outline. She laid her head on the other piece of burlap she’d stuffed with hay and she sighed away some of the days stress.

Delilah would often keep her in the shadows for extended periods. Sometimes when she’d come back up whole days would have passed as they mapped areas and explored the different branches of the darkness. She’d come to know it very well over the years. Often it was transportation. Watching. Listening. Scouting.

Sometimes it was other, odder tasks.

Today it had been tracking someone. Laudna didn’t know who the someones were, but she watched their caravan go in the night, followed it’s path as Delilah demanded, and gave her all the notes.

She planted something Delilah had given her beneath the carriage near the end of its journey and hidden it behind the back wheels spoke, and then she’d left it.

Delilah told her she’d done well today, and had her sat at the expansive table in the dining room with a cup of tea for each of them. The traditional reward for a satisfactory job. When she’d been done sipping her warm beverage, she’d been brought to her cell and now here she was, with one specific place and person on her mind.

She waited to make sure she couldn’t hear anyone else coming to her space. That Delilah didn’t have any other tasks or terrors for her. When she was shadow walking her actual form was cutoff from all senses. If she went too early and someone came, the jig would be up so to speak.

She’d been caught a few times before, going other places in the night, but Delilah had started finding it rather amusing, knowing she would have to return to her body and it was only a temporary reprieve.

Let her have this.

She’d told Anders as Laudna had been reeling from the first impact against her head.

She already knows her punishment for disobeying, and It’s not like she can leave. We’ll call it extra practice.

Even though this recreational trip was probably not going to lead to any extra bruises, she absolutely did not want it to lead to Imogen either.

After some time and being as sure as she could, she let herself close her eyes, will to sleep, and imagine that warm room with a girl of lavender storms inside it. And she was off-

Traversing the shadows was becoming quicker, but she zipped around a bit, a trick she’d learned from paranoia incase she was being followed to give them alternate routes to track. She’d do the same on the way out to not leave the only path a straight line at Imogen.

It was still like ups and downs and others weren’t actual directions, but she knew how it would curve like halls, bend like rivers, expand like a bridge, and how to skip across it and make her own.

She neared in on an area that she thought was right and for a faint second, could’ve sworn she heard a flapping sound again, and smiled. Evening to you too Ramoné.

But as she approached… it was like a barrier had surrounded the window between.

A wind storm almost blowing her back, faintly reminiscent of the time she crossed into the dream, but as she winced in the space, spun herself, and tried again-

She landed on the floor, eyes flying open and above her-

“Ma-“ followed by a series of gasps and heavy breaths that just seemed so pained.

Laudna’s brow furrowed and she listened for a few seconds as the breathing above her steadied with a few cries between, and she quickly wisped out of the room and back to the kitchen as she had before.

She felt around for an opening until her arm had landed through the same portal and she could find a glass in Imogen’s kitchen, fill it from the tap, then wisp back to her original spot. The shadows loyally folding around her and depositing her under Imogen’s bed, now clutching the cup of water. 

“Laud?” Imogen gasped, sitting up.

“Hiiii.” Laudna said, trying for her casual cheer, tapping her fingers on the side of the cup. “Are you alright? It sounded like a… rather upsetting dream?”

“No! No-“ she heard Imogen sniffle and could imagine her wiping the edges of her sleeves over her eyes. “I’m fine… it’s fine. We don’t- we don’t have to talk about that.”

Laudna gently reached out with her shadowed arm, cup in hand and extended it up the side of the bed, not reaching much further. Letting Imogen come the rest of the way to her.

She heard another shaky exhale and muffled sniff before the weight of the cup was being lifted from her.

“Thank you… you didn’t have to… I’m fine you know…”

“Well I don’t know.” Laudna said, “Not entirely, and you’re right, we don’t have to talk about, but sometimes the crazy wants out.” She tried to sound hopeful. Supportive even. She’d shared quite a bit of her pains the day before, and was more than willing to be an ear as well. But opening up that part of you… wasn’t always fun.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” She added almost offhanded.

Imogen got quiet… real quiet, and Laudna could only hear the sound of her tapping against the cup, until she said in almost a whisper,

“Isn’t it though?”

“No of course not! It’s- Why would it be?” Laudna was almost confused.

“… people treat it like it is.”

“Well good thing I’m not them.” Laudna said, hoping it was reassuring. Perhaps it worked, as Imogen slid her arm across the covers of the bed and took Laudna’s shadowed hand. Laudna instantly wrapped around the feeling.

“Daddy… treats it like it is.” Imogen said softly, like a petal falling from a rose. “He… it’s easier for us both if we just don’t talk about it.”

So that was it.

“Sounds like it’s only easier for him.” Laudna said softly back. A bit of her protectiveness flaring.

“Well… it’s good for me too… cause if I thought about it I think…” she sighed, holding her fingers a little tighter. “I think I’d be pretty… disappointed at him for not… just for not.”

She heard Imogen sip the water and all the unsaid words that didn’t need saying.

“When did they start?” Laudna asked, trying to be respectful of the details, but to show Imogen she was cared for.

“A-about a year ago… I really hoped they’d go away by now.” A beat of silence, and then-

“Are you sure… you don’t mind?” She felt the hand release hers and she missed it but she saw Imogen reposition so that she was sitting on the edge of the bed with both feet on the floor. “You don’t- we don’t have to pretend, ya know? Especially cause… what if you mind later?”

Laudna frowned up at the bottom of the bed.

“Imogen… I care about you. I care about things that hurt you. That’s not going to change. I can’t- I probably can’t fix it… or make them go away…” at least not from where she was at present. “But… loneliness seems like the worst punishment for a crime you didn’t even commit.”

Imogen gasped through a shaky breath, like she’d never considered she didn’t deserve the pain, and that broke a piece of Laudna’s heart.

“You really are my best friend.” Imogen said after that with an emotionally charged chuckle, before she gently rethreaded their fingers and Laudna bloomed under the warmth of her hand.

They were content for awhile, Imogen taking a few sips of her water to punctuate the spaces. Laudna could have been perfectly pleased to sit in silence with her the whole night. Even longer if her magic would allow it. Silence with Imogen was so much better than silence without her…

“So these shadows…” Imogen said, turning her hand over softly. “They’re not… you’re real form?”

Ahh, a fair question.

“Correct. I’m a real girl, promise, but it looks like… like they cover me up when I move through them.”

“But you’re still in there?”

“Some part of me is.” She sighed, trying to organize how to explain it all. “It’s a bit confusing, and Delilah doesn’t intentionally share anything. The pieces I know were out of necessity or me piecing them together… but I think it’s like… I’m projecting? Like my physical self is still back in my cell in Whitestone. But, my… soul? Or mind? Or some combination of bits is here, dancing through the shadows and holding your hand.”

Imogen hummed.

“But you can… feel right?”

“Yes.”

Imogen drew a circle on the back of her hand. She swallowed at that for some reason.

“And… are you under the shadows? Like a version of you?”

Laudna looked at her other hand. There was the dried blood and greyed skin around cracked fingernails.

“Yes, a version. That’s a way to think of it.”

“If I… can I…” Imogen tapped in thought on the back of her hand. “Can I see you?”

Laudna felt all the air leave her, but in a way that didn’t bruise. It was elating to think about the implication.

“I don’t know… the shadows wrap me up, and I’m usually not meant to be seen, but… we can certainly try?”

Imogen rose on her feet and she heard her take a deep breath. Then she was kneeling and came into focus for Laudna, who lost her breath yet again. That girl in the storm… was staring with those intense, beautiful eyes right at her.

She saw a few curls of lavender fall in front of her face, and the most adorable crinkle to her eyes as she scanned her, astutely, from the top of the bed to the bottom and them back to the approximation of where her own eyes were.

“Wow… Laud it’s like…”

“Like what…?” She whispered, swallowing intently.

“Like the shadows are darker than usual… like smoke? Covering the whole area under there, but flickering… It’s hard to describe. Like a really bright candle in a dark space, but… without the candle?” 

“Sorry.” Laudna felt the need to apologize but Imogen merely cocked a smile, and damn if it wasn’t the most lovely thing Laudna had ever seen. To actually see it.

“Why are you apologizing silly?”

“I don’t know. Cause you can’t see me? Or cause I may have scared you more than I meant, or-“

“Laudna, Laudna, Laudna-“ Imogen rushed out, cutting her barrage of apologies off and wrapping her second hand around Laudna’s, holding both close to her chest. “It’s a good wow. It’s good. I mean… I’d love to see you you, but… it’s like… proof you’re here? Proof of everything that’s happened? It’s nice.” She smiled, almost to herself. “It’s amazing.”

“Oh…” Laudna said once, frozen by the affirmation. Imogen smiled once more, then looked closer at the hand she was holding.

“Is this as far as you can reach out?”

“Yes. It was… quite difficult to even get that much of me through the shadows.” Laudna’s mind filled with stories she’d rather leave locked away of her early training days and the consequences that had followed. Those were better to leave in the dungeon. Not for here.

Imogen’s brow creased and it was adorable as she looked at the hand near her heart.

“Does it hurt?” She asked gently.

“Not anymore.” Laudna said assuredly. And it didn’t. It was now a buzz, not a battle. Though the tips of her fingers had started turning black in the aftermath. It’d fade soon enough after, but she often wondered of the possibility of it becoming permanent.

She saw her brow crease again.

“Not anymore? So it used to?”

“Well with great power comes… yeah some not so pleasant memories.” She chuckled a bit.

“Laud-“

“But that’s enough of that… really.” She thought she might sound a bit too eager to change the subject, but Imogen seemed to understand. It was like her nightmares. The thing they didn’t want to disclose. “What else have I missed with you in the last five years?”

Imogen’s eyes softened, dipping to the ground, and her grip slackened.

“Momma’s gone.” Imogen said. Laudna’s eyes shot up.

“Oh… Imogen, I’m so sorry.” And she was. More than anything. She reached up as gently as she could, wiping a thumb to catch her tears before they could fall.

Imogen stiffened for a moment before shrugging her shoulders.

“Well… you came back, maybe she will too.” Imogen chucked degradingly, then leaned into the touch. Launda was pretty sure her little heart wasn’t made for this kind of gentleness anymore. It was like a mortal wound that somehow fixed all the cracks by making them crackier and then filling it all in with lavender.

She blinked stupidly at her a few times, trying to process how someone could… find her comforting. Not afraid of… but actually leaning into her touch…

It was unprecedented.

“Maybe she will.” She said, very much forgetting anything but how warm Imogen’s cheek was against her hand.

************

Holding Laudna’s hand was becoming the highlight of her nights, and days truthfully. The shadowy film that coated her friend and flowed around her like a river… never quite standing still… it was fascinating.

It made her heart race and her mind sing and the hairs on the end of her arms stand upright.

The cool touch was like the underside of your pillow on a muggy summer night. And it felt like all of her life before it was kind of… one long muggy night.

She smiled into her pillow so much she thought she’d leave an imprint. And every time she looked at the lights and shadow moving around each other and shifting ever so slightly her eyes followed it. Mapping it. The dark felt so inviting now.

She kept thinking every little shadow might just reach out and catch her tears… before they even fell. Like the one that told her it was okay to be scared. Like the one that knew what fear was, lived it, didn’t run from it, and really… didn’t look down on Imogen when she questioned her own need to run or stay.

Laudna treated her like, well like something of value.

There was a knock on her door, a quick two-tap. Daddy must’ve started early.

“Hey, Farramore sent word, it’s gonna be a long day.”

‘Long Day’ was code for double-booking the staff and it usually meant they’d share a sunrise on the property.

Imogen groaned. “What’s the occasion this time?”

Her dad huffed a single laugh.

“New paint, so gotta clear out all the stalls before we start. Plus first day of harvest. We don’t have to pick em, but he needs hands boxing and readying for transport.”

“Maybe we can just paint the apples and chuck em at the barn. That’d be a good even-coat strategy, huh?” she called back through the door and heard her dad chuckle again.

“Now you’re thinking with your whole head. Shoot, they should make you project manager Temult.”

Imogen smiled a different kind for a moment. She liked making Pa laugh. These glimpses where they fell back into old patterns… they gave her hope that maybe they would get back there some day. Back to good.

She heard him shift on his feet and give one more pat to the door.

“Anyway, grab a change of clothes, or at least an extra layer. If you sweat through your vest and pants you’ll be glad you don’t have to shiver through em at night when the temperature drops.”

Sage advice. She decided to do just that, finally rising up out of bed and stretching her arms above with a long exhale. She pulled out an extra coat and looked back under the bed, suddenly pausing to stare.

Shoot. What if Laudna came back while she wasn’t home? She didn’t want her to panic, and they hadn’t really set a time, but… she still kind of hoped she’d come back again.

Was it silly to hope someone would come even if you wouldn’t be there to see them?

It was. It absolutely had to be.

She grabbed a piece of paper and quickly scrawled a note that she shoved under the bed for her shadowed friend to maybe find later.

Dear Laudna,

Hey there! If you’re reading this you came to see me which is great! Yay! But it also means I’m not home… Boo (and she drew a grumpy face next to this part for effect)

But don’t worry about me, Pa and I have a long day at Farramore’s Ranch, little northwest of here. Sometimes we have to work a day and night, today happens to be one of those days.

If we get everything done should be back to our regular schedule at the ranch tomorrow, so you could always come see me then. If you can… I hope you can (smiley face drawn here)

Talk to you later,

XOXO, Imogen

************

“GET THE CRATES INTO THE BACK.” Her dad yelled over the storm, and she held the side of the box as he nailed the lid on. She reached up and brushed some of the matted bangs out of her eyes, wincing when she heard the thunder cracking through the sky. She reminded herself that she wasn’t scared of it anymore. That it didn’t bother her. That she was past it. She almost bit through her lip on the next strike of lightning in the clouds.

It was the anticipation, she decided. Of seeing the strike and knowing the thunder was coming directly after. She hated that part.

“Imogen!” Her dad yelled, and her eyes darted up to his, worried for a moment. She didn’t want him to see her scared. He wouldn’t like it. But he looked surprisingly… calm. He just nodded his head toward the barn. “We’ll finish up out here, head inside and finish painting the hayloft. The outside-“ He jerked his head to the side where they could already see the finish melting off. “Well that’s going to need another coat tomorrow. But if we get the inside done at least one job off the list. Got it?”

She nodded, and smiled a little at him, appreciative of the gesture. Then hurried to the overhang where they’d left the paint from earlier, taking a bucket and getting out of the rain.

The storm was much quieter inside, and she left her dripping overcoat by the door to not bring in too much water, then shivered, waiting for her body to adjust to the inside warmth. The horses were restless, whinnying and stomping around their newly cleaned stalls from the ruckus outside.

“I know, I know.” She shushed relaxingly to the black mare and the chestnut shetland by the door, leaning over the pen gate and petting them on the muzzles. “It’s awful, but we’re safe in here, alright?”

She threw an extra few handfuls of hay in the stalls before putting the paintbrush between her teeth and climbed the ladder. The paint bucket was heavy so she went slow, but eventually made it up to the higher level. She had a feeling her dad was cutting her some slack with this task, but it did need to get done, so she still wanted to do a good job.

It was darker up here, and she realized too late she should’ve brought a candle with her. That was going to make getting an even coat a bit harder. Hmm… she weighed climbing down to find one as she set out the tarp and retched the lid off the bucket.

“Flora, any chance you or one of the boys could toss me a torch?” She said jokingly, unfolding the last edge of the tarp and pinning it down. But then she heard a small bounce of wood on wood, and snapped around to see an unlit torch rolling across the edge of the hayloft toward her. Her eyebrows about shot off the top of her head.

“F-Flora… did you actually do that?” She said, uncertain as she edged closer to the wooden instrument.

“No silly, it was me!” Laudna’s voice greeted her and she squealed before covering it up.

“LAUDNA!” She said, disbelief as she wheeled her head down below and sure enough, noticed a chunk of shadow darker than the rest… that same tendrilly exterior to it, and an arm tentatively reaching out to wave at her.

“Yes! Hello! Sorry, that was probably- I’m afraid I didn’t have my bell with me to alert you.” Her voice carried a slight apology but also a humor that had Imogen smiling like a fool.

“What are-“ She suddenly remembered where she was and hunched lower, putting her hand up by her face to cover her voice. “What are you doing here?? Aren’t other people going to see you?” She looked side to side

“What other people? It’s just you and me as far as I can tell.” Laudna replied unbothered. “Is it- I’m sorry, is it okay that I’m here? I got- I found your note when I arrived at your room and I just thought… it might be fun, you know?”

She sounded a little nervous now and somehow all of Imogen’s concerns faded as she smiled more affectionally down at her friend.

“No no, I’m glad you’re here. Really. I didn’t… I didn’t even know you could do that now.” She could’ve sworn it was like the shadows were grinning back. “Can you… can you come up here so I don’t have to keep yelling down?”

“Oh! Of course.” And there was a wisp as the shadows rearranged themselves and in a blink it was like she was gone. Imogen’s brow furrowed before- “Hello there dear!” Came right behind her ear. Imogen almost jumped right off the edge, but she caught herself and turned instead to see the Laudna shadow waving from the corner of the hayloft.

“Gosh, you’re going to give me a heart attack.” Imogen laughed, and the shadow seemed to stoop, almost embarrassed. “That was amazing though… you can just move that quick?”

“Uh-huh! It’s like… all the shadows are kind of connected? And I can jump through them like they’re puddles leading down to a bigger lake beneath them. Then I rearrange and boop! Come back out in another space.” On that she wisped to the opposite corner of the hayloft.

“Wow…” Imogen said moving a bit closer, and gauging appreciatively. “What… what would happen if there was suddenly light?”

“Well when that happens, it’s kind of like… I get pulled back into the lake. Just beneath the surface.” Laudna mused, picking up the torch that had been left and propping it into a metal hanger on the center beam.

“Now we just need some-“

“Matches?” Laudna said, before wisping away and back, depositing a small box by Imogen’s feet.

“Okay now you’re just showing off.” Imogen joked and Laudna’s shadow shook with a giggle. “You’re like a crow, just bringing me gifts huh?”

“A crow! What a lovely idea… maybe I could grow wings and fly away from here…” Her voice carried off with a wistfulness, and Imogen felt a soft spot in her chest at that as she struck the match and lit the torch. Laudna’s shadow retreated.

“Oh! Laud-“

“It’s fine! It’s fine! I’m here.” She said reassuringly, a little further back in the shadows.

Imogen heard Flora neighing down below at the sudden light and shushed her lightly.

“There there old girl.”

“Is that Flora?” Laudna asked in a tone of recognition.

“Sure is. How’d you guess?”

“She’s the horse you wrote about the most in your Adventure Book.”

That same old tap-tap-tap played in Imogen’s chest and she smiled to herself.

“You wanna say hi?”

Imogen’s eyes were straining to make the distinction of where the shadows met but she could swear she saw it perk up at the offer.

“R-really?” Laudna asked.

“Course. Just head on down and offer her a carrot from that sack by the gate.” Imogen pointed over the end and heard that now-familiar wisp as Laudna’s shadow went lower and she watched a carrot rise up slowly as Flora came closer to the curious site outside her pen.

She watched the horse lower her snout and sniff the air around the offered treat and heard Laudna whispering something that she must have found agreeable, as she whinnied and bowed to take a bite. The sight brought a warm feeling to her chest to match the tap-tap-tapping.

Then a wild crack of thunder wrung out, loud enough that Imogen dropped the paintbrush she was holding. The storm was getting closer. 

“Oh! Imogen are you… alright?” Laudna’s shadowed form turned to her. “Do storms… still not sit well with you?”

She smiled thinly and shook her head, letting out a deep breath through clenched teeth as she stooped to grab the brush.

“Better than when I was seven.” She paused trying to will the tension back out of her shoulders as she saw another flash out the barn window. “I’d tell just about anyone who asked me that that I was fine… but… I think you’d see through it.”

Laudna’s shadow was quiet for a moment but there was this comfort coming from her presence that Imogen seemed constantly drawn to.

“Do you want to know what I really see?” Laudna said, voice much quieter to the point Imogen almost had to lean in. It stirred that similar feeling of the junebug tap dancing in her chest again. She welcomed it back. “I see someone so… capable. Fighting through her fears.”

Imogen didn’t even hear the next strike of thunder, she simply thought it was her heart in her ears.

“You’re just… really-“

KrrrrAAAAkkkkkkKK-

Whatever she was going to say was cutoff as the building shook and the sound of the sky ripping itself apart echoed throughout. She covered her ears on instinct.

Another cracking followed as Imogen realized the building itself must’ve been struck by the lightning, and wooden slats started falling from above, sparks catching, horses braying, screams happening outside the barn and inside a voice yelling, ‘Imogen!’ and it was hard to keep all the sensations straight in the split seconds they were unfurling and overlapping and Imogen froze.

Until the smoke swallowed her. She coughed and gagged on the charcoal flavor, falling to her knees and looking around to see-

Flames. Fire falling through the new hole that had been struck in the ceiling and catching quickly on all the straw around her. It was going up in seconds.

Yellow, red, orange and white licking up along the perimeter of her vision. She couldn’t see the ladder down, she moved backward on hands and knees toward the hole in the ceiling, trying to avoid the debris, nicking her hand on a nail and feeling the blood flow.

Voices outside called out, chilling rain falling on her back, probably not enough to save her. She panicked for a moment before she heard the voice again.

“Imogen! Take my hand!” 

She turned her head to find it, and saw a small patch of dark from the new angles of the light that the voice called and the arm extended unnaturally long to her, but couldn’t quite reach. The moon poured in in a harsh angle, keeping it bayed from getting closer.

“Laudna-“ She coughed around the name. I’m scared, she thought.

“I’m here! I’m not leaving you! I’ve got you! Just, hurry, the fire’s spreading.” The voice pleaded.

There were more voices coming closer, the horses in a frenzy, the wood creaking and crackling and Imogen was scared. But… she could face her fears. With a friend at her side. She stood, coughing into her elbow and lining up her angle to the shadowed hand. It was against the side of the barn, moving upward to avoid the growing flames and Imogen knew she was going to need a running start to get there… she breathed into her wet coat, breathed out and- I’ve got you- played back in her head.

She ran.

One, two, three steps- up onto a pile of stacked boards, one foot against the wall and- She leapt.

Arm outstretched as she heard the beam behind her creaking, shifting, falling, the shadowed hand extended with a sound of effort from the shadows, suddenly echoing like it was down a cavern, and wrapped around her wrist.

“Don’t let go, ok?” That same echoed voice repeated, and slid up the wall, higher from the flames. “And don’t breathe the smoke!” Then they were moving-

Along the wall, away from the light, which was starting to lick down to the lower level. The voices were closer, footsteps were nearing in on the barn door, she could hear their boots squelching in the mud. Hear their panic, and Laudna’s shadow seemed to pick up on that too, or on something as she gasped, then was lowering her swiftly. Pulling her through the opposite door and back out into the shock of rain, setting her down before vanishing all together into the earth.

Imogen landed in a puddle, skidding with the momentum from Laudna having dragged her from harm- saving her- and coughed, expelling the last of the smoke. She breathed long heavy breaths, trying to get her bearings. She looked around, eyes wild, adrenaline spiking.

“Laudna?” She coughed, pushing up to her feet. She looked at her hand and saw she was still holding the damn paintbrush. “LAUDNA?” She called again over the rain and furthering thunder.

“IMOGEN!” Her daddy’s voice caught her off guard and he came running over to her, panic on his face. She registered the voices from inside, calling for buckets of water and moving the horses out, none-too-thrilled, back to the rain but away from the dimming heat.

“Daddy…” She breathed, as he scooped her up, arms wrapping around her in a protective disbelief.

“I thought- gods I thought you were in there! How did you-?” His eyes trailed back up to the crackling windowsill near the hayloft. “Did you come through the window?”

He looked back at her, still confused, and the situation started to catch up to her. Imogen breathed a small sound like confirmation or maybe a sob as her breath caught in her throat. She looked around again, still not seeing Laudna, and coughed the last of her smoked lungs. She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling the cold spiking and her Pa ripped off his jacket to wrap her up.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” He said, eyes still scanning around and helping her stand. Imogen nodded, leaning against his shoulder. She felt a dim pain in her hand and looked down with surprise to see the gash in her palm with the blood blackened and scabbing already… the red color pushing up beneath. She’d never seen an injury do that. She held it close to her chest, and in her heart or mind or anywhere inside her called for Laudna one more time.

Thank you… She thought, hoping she’d hear it wherever she’d left to.

*

In Whitestone a disturbance reached her down in the ziggurat. Something… unexpected.

Hmm…. Interesting… 

Something’s touched the shadows. Something new… 

What could that little Bradbury be doing down there?

Her eyes were drawn back to the glyphs Anders was drawing in the sand, as Ripley lugged in the second casket. This one far more ornate and, unlike the other, currently occupied. Her eyes creased the way they always did upon seeing it. She waved off the feeling for now.

I’ll check in with her soon enough.

She chuckled a dark little thing to herself, then pressed her hand over her chest.

Soon my love… very soon.

Chapter Text

Imogen’s heart didn’t stop beating at it’s new double-pace for the entire time it took to extinguish the barn. 

Pa had asked her to wait with the horses, who were none too pleased to be out in the rain. (Flora kept letting her know it with soft slaps of her tail.) And Relvan kept looking over his shoulder like she might disappear if he didn’t maintain eye contact.

The rain dissipated by the time they were done patching a tarp over the roof and getting the smoke out as best they could. Only the humidity sticking to her skin was left to remind her it’d been there, and the goosebumps that trailed all over her arms and neck. 

She could hear the grumbles from the squad about how many ‘long nights’ there would be ahead of them as Pa finally came forward to collect the horses.

“Hey, we’re just about done here. You okay to walk yourself home?” He asked, sounding softer than he had in a long while.

Imogen nodded, probably too quick. But she’d been thinking about running home since the last second she’d heard Laudna’s voice. She clutched her hand closer to her chest, still feeling a slight pulse from where the cut had been.

“You sure you’re gonna be ok?”

“Yeah Pa… I’m fine.”

She offered his coat to him, shrugging it off her shoulders, and he gave a nod to accept it, then took the reins for the horses. Imogen waved back at the other farm hands before turning and walking in measured steps to the patch of trees that lead her home. Once she felt she was safely out of sight… she ran, dropping all guise.

Sloshing through puddles, pumping her arms, she felt that adrenaline that had been coursing finally set free and ran with abandonment until she saw her house come into view. She went up the porch and threw the door open-

“Laudna?” She yelled, panting slightly, eyes scanning the shadows of the room.

No response. Just an empty home. She slid off her boots, hopping on one foot and tossing them by the door then hurrying to her room.

“Laud?? You here?” She called again, dropping to her knees to look under the bed, checking behind the door, anywhere dark- feeling a need to see her friend again… to tell her…

“Lauuuuuuud?” She called again, breath starting to slow, before finally sitting on the floor and leaning against her bed frame, taking a deep breath.

Silence.

She bit her lip in a wry line and let out a long sigh, accepting her friend’s absence. 

“Where’d you go?” She whispered to the shadows anyway. Hoping it would respond… but accepting it wouldn’t.

************

In the morning when Imogen woke up her whole body felt groggy. That fight or flight of escaping a burning barn had taken it out of her. She blinked slowly awake with the early morning light shining in through her window. Weird that the sun was already up so high and Pa hadn’t come to get her…

She rolled over in her sheets, bundling up and still smelling last nights rain on her skin. She’d have to take a proper bath… Once she’d settled down last night she’d only had the energy to wipe the soot from her skin with a rag until the chilled water ran clear. Now though, a warm soak sounded perfect.

She groaned herself awake with the promise of it, and stumbled over to the bathroom. 

Glancing toward the door she didn’t see Pa’s boots sitting by hers. He might not have come home from work. Let the long night stretch into the next day.

Ten or so minutes later she had gotten the water hot and sat in the bath with a long contented sigh, scrubbing off the remainders of grime in the harder to reach places.

She was happy to dip her head under and lean on the edge of the tub and not move for as long as the water kept warm.

When she glanced at her hand she saw the bandages she’d wrapped hastily around her cut hand last night beginning to wet and pinken.

She supposed she should clean it properly, and began to gingerly unwrap it.

Last night it looked so… odd in the night. The black blood… the red pulse… she started moving slower through the motions, nervous suddenly to see. Had it been an illusion of the dark?

Laudna would never do anything to intentionally hurt her, she was more confident in that than ever… but she didn’t know everything about her powers…

As the last of the gauze came free she took an inhale and looked down.

And for a moment she neither blinked nor breathed nor did anything but stare.

The scar itself had almost closed up, skin edges looking raw and pink but together. Quicker than a wound of that nature should, from her recollection. But the thing wasn’t the wound itself… but the black healing all around it.

Beneath a layer of skin she saw these… black veins spreading. Etching through her like lines on a printing press. She flexed her fingers and palm, watching the way it hit the light.

Part of her thought she should be scared… but she couldn’t find it in her to be. It was like… pulling up a flower and seeing the intricate network of roots underneath it. But they were inside of her. She was a part of the network. Her skin had almost a shimmer to it as she examined it. Like the black was glowing in dark vivid greens and blues and purples. It was subtle enough you had to be right up on it, but mesmerizing as she looked harder.

She pressed on it with the thumb of her other hand, noting no pain to greet her but an acknowledged buzz. Like when you caught a lightning bug and it was testing your hands for an exit.

“Wow.” She mouthed to herself. After studying it awhile longer she brought it into the warm water and washed it. She dreaded for a moment that it would be gone when it came back out from under the soap, and caught herself smiling upon seeing the return of those small jagged lines.

It made her feel… touched. By something more powerful than her little slice of world had ever seen.

Maybe it’ll link me to you…

She ducked her head back under the water.

************

Laudna smelled smoke as soon as she’d gone back to her body. She worried for a blinded second that the flames had followed her to the dungeon, but when her body came back she felt the sensation dissipate from their connection.

She breathed slow and heavy, reacquainting herself with her limbs and lungs and replayed everything that had happened. She wanted to go back, she wanted to see her and make sure she was ok. Desperately. 

It was all she could think of.

But she was tapped. It was like when her energy gave out she’d been thrown back through that puddle to the lake beneath and lacked the strength to break the surface.

So the shadows had drifted her body back to where it belonged and deposited her, unceremoniously, here.

Imogen…

She was so tired, she needed to rest… it’d been awhile since she’d pushed her powers like this. She hated to think Delilah would be proud.

As sleep took her there was this new nagging sensation at the back of her skull… like… a compass. The needle pointing right at something and shifting with it ever so slightly as it moved. As soon as she thought it’d stop or go away it would happen again. Like a living thing…

How odd…

She thought. Then everything went still as exhaustion won.

When she woke the room was much the same. She hadn’t shifted a hair from what she could tell and the sky outside could be any color, it’d be hard for her to know. Well, at least from here. She blinked and flexed her hands then sunk into the shadow and reappeared on the other side of the door. It was a rather… unsettling habit. To look right outside her captivity and see the bolted door and rusted locks that kept her contained.

She often thought early on that it would help her find an escape. Now she just looked to remind herself there was a world right outside that she was still attached to.

She took her usual route and in three jumps came to a room with a light source and saw that indeed… it was approaching the end of sunset. Delilah had never come to get her. Interesting. Some days she was left to her own devices while the Lady Sorcerer was on other projects. She knew better than to look for her. But she did allow herself a quick jump to the kitchen to grab a small loaf of bread. If she took anything more than what was rationed to her Delilah seemed to have a way of finding out and making her regret it later… but a smidge of bread was typically acceptable, and she dragged it back to her cell, instantly cradling it once her projection joined her form. 

She hummed once, appreciatively, then broke off small pieces and savored them as her stomach roared.

It was a luxury, really, not to be bothered, as she had a very important task on her mind. She needed to see a very specific person, and now that she felt like she could reach out further than a few steps it was the only thing on her agenda. She itched to see her, a longing deeper than her paranoia could dissuade. She wrapped herself back in her burlap blanket to feign sleep and let herself sink to that dark space, and as soon as she hit it… she felt it.

That compass, pinpointing her to her location. She made a few jumps far to the side, laying her fake trail, and noting how that same pull appeared regardless, dragging her back to this true north of sorts.

When she broke through the shadowed surface to see the world it was dark out. Edge of a sunset peaking over the horizon, and she thought the layout of trees looked familiar from where she was beneath their canopy. A discarded wagon was in sight, two large wheels and the bed of it resting. Its post not hitched to any horse or mare. She jumped to under it and looked around, gauging if this was indeed where she needed to be, and then she heard a gasp.

“Laudna?” A hopeful whisper and a pile of sticks falling greeted her, then a hurried, ‘shoot,’ followed as she saw Imogen’s knees in the dirt, scooping to pick up her kindling.

“Oh dear, sorry! I- is this a bad time? I just wanted to-“

“You came back!” That whispered voice returned, all awe and reverence and not seeming to notice the sticks in the slightest. Laudna could just make out her face from this angle, and with the light of the setting sun she looked even prettier. The colors hugging around her features, the warmth in those eyes… she blinked realizing she hadn’t responded.

“Yes! Yes sorry, last night I think… I just ran out of energy.”

Imogen’s brow furrowed a bit, curiously, before her eyes went up with understanding.

“It must take a lot out of you. To do all that magic and stuff.”

“Sometimes.” Laudna shrugged a little shyly.

“Course it does.” Imogen shakes her head as of talking to herself but then looks over her shoulder before turning back to Laudna. A little smile comes to her face that feels… new. And Laudna is so so relieved that she’s still here smiling. No flames could take that.

“I… need to go back to the barn real quick. Drop these off, but then we have a break. Can… will you be here? Can you stay?” She asked quickly, eyes searching the shadows.

“Yes of course. I’ll be happy to if that’s what you want.”

And then her stomach did the awful thing of rumbling. Imogen’s lips curled in a chuckle of surprise.

“Are you hungry?” She asked, but her expression said she already knew the answer.

“I mean always.” She joked and they both laughed. “But no need to worry for me.”

“It’s not a worry. We’re bringing in Farramore’s harvest today while they repair the barn. I’ll grab us a few apples and be right back.” She practically skipped away.

Laudna was tempted to reach out and tell her, really there’s no need. She didn’t want to be a burden. But Imogen was already gone. And Laudna was left smiling after her.

She rolled her head to the side and looked out from under the wagon at the foot and a half of life and land she didn’t normally get to see. The patches of grass, the bugs chirping and making their way through the weeds. She counted three acorns in sight and watched the subtle shift of color in the bit of sky afforded to her.

It was then that she stopped and noticed that same compass pull… moving just a little bit again. It was subtle, like a harp string being plucked, but prominent enough that she couldn’t ignore it. Couldn’t mistake it.

She tried to track its pattern… concentrating on it… it was close, and went off toward one side, then the other. She closed her eyes, focusing on it. What could it be? It felt like a roaming shadow. An active pool. Familiar yet new…

And then she heard the footsteps closing in and Imogen had returned.

“I’m back!” And she kneeled down to offer an apple of yellow and red skin. It looked perfect. Like the premiere type of apple you pictured in your mind when you heard the word. Her mouth started to water.

Laudna reached out to take one of the two Imogen held out and her hand grazed one of Imogen’s. And she felt a sudden spike in the back of her mind. It was new. The other times their hands had touched she wasn’t sure it had done that… Her eyes darted to the hand and she saw a bandage wrapped around the palm. How odd… she stored that away for later.

“Thank you Imogen. Really, you didn’t have to go out of your way for me.”

“Nonsense.” Imogen said cheerily, turning to sit with her back against the cart and taking a bite of her own apple with a contented sigh. Laudna took a bite as well. She must’ve hummed just a little too loud in delight.

“Good aren’t they?” Imogen asked with a giggle. Laudna hummed affirmatively.

“Delicious… truly I don’t know the last time I’ve had an apple…”

“Really?” Imogen asked with a pause.

“Mhmm!” She responded through another juicy bite. “They don’t grow around here, so they have to be imported in and are fairly expensive after their boat ride around the world. It was always such a treat when mom and dad would get them.” She chuckled and felt the bit of nostalgia rearing its head. But it was a good memory, so she let it stick around a little longer. “Usually near the end of the season when they were cusping on too old they could get a good deal. Mom would make this beautiful apple tart, oh it was so good!”

“Hmm, that does sound really nice.” Imogen sounded sincere. Laudna wished she could share the memory with her. Somehow scoop a forkful from her subconscious and offer it to her.

“Most of the time we’d just get something local. Pears, clementines, papaya.”

“What was that last one?”

“Papaya?”

“What’s a papaya?”

“You haven’t had a papaya? Oh they’re this soft and sweet little orange fruit. Well, they’re actually rather big. And they have all these seeds.”

“Do you mean a pomelo?”

“No it’s sweeter, but not as juicy… you know I don’t even know how to explain it.” She chuckled and Imogen hummed. “I’ll just have to bring you one.”

“You can do that?” Imogen asked with a bit of awe.

“I don’t see why not.” Laudna said, smiling at Imogen’s tone without really thinking through the details.

They nibbled their fruit in comfortable silence for awhile longer until Laudna had eaten everything but the seeds and stems. Her siblings used to tell her if she swallowed a seed it would start growing in her stomach, and while she’d never really believed it, she’d never wanted to challenge it either.

“Hey…” Imogen said softly, drawing her eye. “What you did last night… was pretty amazing. Thank you.”

“Imogen you don’t have to thank me for that.” Laudna said, feeling a strange sensation coming over her.

“Laud I was… really scared.” She said with a small chuckle that may have been a cry. “Like… really scared. And I’m…” she rubbed a thumb across her nose and Laudna heard her hide a sniffle.

“I’m just glad you were there. You came to my rescue. Made me feel safe.”

Imogen curled her arms around her legs and shrugged off to her side.

And Laudna wondered how she could explain. That saving Imogen wasn’t a favor, it wasn’t a choice, it wasn’t any part of her that made a conscious decision… it was a compulsion. From the flash of lightning to the smoke to the ground and back below the shadows felt like a millisecond. Felt like time had somehow frozen and collapsed until she saw that glimpse of her friend freed from the flames.

“I’m glad I was too.” Laudna ultimately whispered back, reaching out with her shadowed hand and tracing a smiley face into the sand next to Imogen. She heard a small amused breath and saw her unwrap herself a bit. “I’m so relieved… truly. I don’t think I really slowed down to realize what I was doing.”

“Well what you were doing was saving my life.”

“And now you’ve brought me fruit. Consider us even.”

“That’s all it takes, huh? An apple for an Imogen.” They both laughed, and it felt good. Felt special, but just about everything Imogen did made her feel that way.

“It’s hard to put a price on something like an ‘Imogen,' but an apple’s a good start.” Laudna offered with a fond smile.

“Well good thing I brought you two.” Imogen said triumphantly, procuring another apple, as perfect as the first, and laying it beside Laudna’s outstretched hand. 

“Well now I do believe I am in your debt.”

Laudna laughed, smiling wider than she had in awhile. Imogen smiled and paused, turning her head lower so she could see her in profile. She had her mouth open like she wanted to ask something, and Laudna could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she pieced together the phrases or the courage to follow through.

“Imogen!” A man’s voice echoed out from further away and she turned away with a snap of attention.

“I gotta go back.” She whispered then turned on her palms to look into the shadows. “Will you come back to my room tonight? I want to show you something.”

Wanted to show her something? Laudna wondered somewhat excitedly what it could be.

“I’ll be there.”

************

Laudna dove back into the shadows with her apple cradled against her chest, smiling like it was a terminal disease she couldn’t shake. She already had her mind made up on where she’d go.

Slipping from portal to portal she ended up in a familiar corner of Whitestone where the markets were. The stands and booths were near empty at this hour, vendors already packed up and home, and she wasn’t necessarily worried about being caught, but still… she didn’t like dawdling in these parts.

It was the memories she decided that made it hard to be here. The reminder that she once lived a life with people who could just walk these streets. Now she could only do it as an oddity.

And the possibility that she might see her parents… that was a bit overwhelming.

She didn’t honestly think she ever would, but it was much closer than she cared to get. And that chapter of her life she was content to leave labeled as ‘over.’

But she very quickly found a fruit vendor on a prominent corner, burlap tarps tied to the ground to preserve the goods inside, and entered through the dark pools inside. Once there she saw the various produce loaded in barrels and started gliding until she found what she sought.

One of the corners had three barrels of papaya, green skin with orange streaks and she smiled at her boon. She’d never liked to steal in all her time unless Delilah forced her hand. It simply made her feel icky and like she was abusing her gift, but a trade was a different story. She propped up the apple on the end of one of the fuller barrels and scooped a ripe looking papaya, knocking a knuckle on the skin to see the sound it made. Perfectly ripe.

She fled through the shadows, retreating to one of her favorite hiding spots, and storing it until later. Then she dropped back to her cell and let herself rest. Fatigue was still nagging at her ends.

************

Imogen was home in her room, pacing. It was pretty late now, and she was sure she was going to be tired tomorrow. But… Laudna hadn’t come back. She said she would, so Imogen waited, somehow restless and borderline exhausted. But there was too much on her mind.

She held her wrapped palm in her other hand and examined it by the candlelight. The bandages hadn’t bled through, and there was a faint end of pink sticking out above and below the gauze. She pressed her thumb against it, thinking of those black veined lines that shone beneath them, when… just like earlier… they started to run cold beneath her skin. Freezing, like being shoved in the ice chest on a summer day and she gasped, until the feeling seemed to burst like static that hit its peak and vanished and the little bell under her bed rang in response.

“Laud?” She asked quietly.

“Hello there!” She greeted and she heard the echo of a yawn behind the greeting. “I must’ve slept longer than I meant to... it’s gotten so late, sorry if I kept you up.”

Imogen was only half listening, more than happy that she was here, but distracted by the feeling in her palm… she stared at it trying to recreate the sensation and memorize it. It had been just like earlier when Laudna appeared at the farm and it startled her so much she’d dropped her kindling. But now it had happened again… when she’d appeared again. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Imogen?” She asked softly and she shook her head and snapped from her stupor.

“Yeah, yes, sorry. I’m glad you made it, don’t care the time really but… something odds been happening.”

“Odder than this?” Laudna said, reaching out with her shadow hand and flexing each finger in a little wave, making Imogen chuckle.

“Yeah, if you can believe it.” She thoughtlessly pressed against the bandaged palm again and heard a sharp gasp from under the bed. She paused in shock. “You felt that?”

The shadows paused in place before her voice, sounding more reserved than ever said-

“Yes… what was that?”

“Did it hurt you?” Imogen asked meekly, still staring at her hand.

“No… no, not a hurt. But a surprise. I didn’t expect… it was like someone squeezing behind my lungs? But… not bad? I mean… I’ve felt bad, but this wasn’t like that.”

Imogen exhaled into the realization. She was connected… somehow this connected them…

“Can you… I want to show you something but… is there somewhere else I could have you appear where it’d be easier? Maybe the closet?”

Laudna chuckled.

“Such a cliche. But yes, I should be able to do that. If you can extinguish the light?”

Imogen nodded and licked her finger then pinched the candle wick like daddy had taught her and the room was suddenly black besides the moon. She blinked and waited for her eyes to adjust before moving over to the closet door.

“Ok, ready?” She gripped the handle.

“Ready.”

She turned the knob and as the hinges creaked she heard the wisp from under the bed and was met with the special black shadow of her friend before her. She smiled on instinct.

“Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” They both giggled. “What is it that you wanted to show me? I’m so curious now.”

“Ok.” Imogen nodded, took a deep exhale, and unwrapped her hand as best she could with her hands shaking. Either from anticipation, excitement, or apprehension. “Hope you can see alright in the dark.” She muttered.

“Not too bad. You spend enough time in it you get used to it.”

She held out her hand for inspection and on instinct held her breath. Laudna’s shadowed hand wrapped around the back of her palm, such a gentle pressure, and it was like the shadow bowed its head to look.

And then it was quiet for a long time. Maybe only a few seconds in reality, but it felt like forever with the way Laudna froze upon seeing it.

It scared her a bit, that reaction. She’d expected surprise or an exclamation or curiosity. Silence wasn’t usually a Laudna move.

“Laud… you ok?” She finally asked, unable to bear the lapse any longer.

“I… did I… do this to you?” She asked, and her voice sounded so fragile. Small as a mouse.

“I- I mean it happened after the barn, but I think-“

“Gods… I am… Imogen I’m so sorry.” She sounded like she might cry and it broke Imogen’s heart. Her hand retracted as if she could poison her with her touch. “I didn’t mean… I didn’t know I could-“

“Laudna, why are you apologizing?” Imogen asked, trying to calm her friend. “You saved my life.”

“But now I’ve marked you… there’s black in your blood… it’s… it’s there now and… I didn’t mean to.” She was definitely crying and it made Imogen panic. She hadn’t been trying to upset her.

“Laudna I’m not angry at you.” She said, trying to reach out to the shadow but saw it start to retreat. She panicked. “No no, don’t you run from me.”

She probably sounded more stern than she meant to, but she reached out on instinct and gasped when her hand breached it. Went into the shadows. She’d never… she didn’t know she could do that, but she didn’t pull back, and she felt Laudna still. She felt every little action of hers now that she was in the shadows too. She felt her blinks.

“Oh wow…” She mumbled, flexing her fingers. Laudna gasped again.

“You’re not… you’re not afraid?” The shadow asked cautiously, sounding stunned as she stared at the hand before her. Imogen couldn’t see past her own wrist anymore, it was swallowed by the darkness.

“No… never afraid of you, just… unexpected.” she moved her hand again, turning the wrist and she felt a gentle pressure as Laudna’s hand reached back for her. She clasped to her immediately. It was different, not the shadowed extended exterior, but instead felt like the skin of a girl her age. She smiled, awed. “That’s you.”

“That’s me…” Laudna repeated. “Imogen…”

“If you’re going to apologize again just zip it, ok?” She said, hoping her tone was joking. “Like I said… you came to my aid… like a knight in one of those storybooks. And you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Wrong or not…” Laudna murmured. “I just… I don’t want to cause you pain, Imogen. I don’t want to… infect you.”

“You haven’t.” She said simply. “Whatever you did… I think you just gave us another form of connection.” She smiled again at the shadow and ran her thumb along her friends hand. She was transfixed by the touch.

“You’re very brave.” Laudna said absently, like a revelation to herself. Imogen felt her cheeks go a bit warm.

“I don’t know about all that.”

“No no, you are.” Laudna said quickly, turning her fingers to hold Imogen’s hand closer. “Probably the bravest. Even I’m afraid of these shadows sometimes… but you just reach right in.”

Imogen smirked softly, and trailed her eye up to where she thought her friends face might be. A thought popped in her head that she couldn’t let go and she released her hand, slowly reaching upward.

“Laud… can I…?” She didn’t finish the sentence, but held her hand up at bay like she did with a horse when she was waiting for it to come to her. She felt a little foolish for a second, and her heart was hammering in her chest suddenly, but then she felt a soft cheek press against her. She inhaled sharp and smiled so hard she thought she’d get whiplash. Her thumb came around to cup her jaw and she laughed in awe.

“Wow.” She said again a little stupidly. She tried to imagine the face beneath her fingers and trailed to the side, feeling a thin stream and wiping the tear she knew was there, hearing a slight chuckle from the shadow. She felt a nose and pinched it, earning a sharp laugh of mock offense and trailed up it to her eyebrow and across to the side of her head where she felt a pointed ear and heard a sharp inhale again. She paused, stock still.

“It’s ok.” Laudna said, encouragingly, steadying them both. “They don’t… hurt anymore.”

Imogen crinkled her brow and ran her finger as feather light as she could across the ear again and felt where the line of the ear was rough and rugged. Not… natural.

“Laud… what…”

“They cut my ears.” She said softly, almost embarrassed and Imogen pictured the pigs on the farm that they’d done something similar to to mark them as Farramores. She’d always hated that they did that… and…

“Darling there’s no need to cry.” She blinked, not realizing that she’d started to and shook her head, but then the shadow reached for her too, following the trail back up her cheek.

“They… they cut your-?” Imogen couldn’t finish the sentence. It was easy to forget when they were together that Laudna was living in constant peril and pain, and the reminders… they broke something in Imogen. She felt like a bad friend. She felt incredibly small.

“Yes… a long time ago. Just the left one at first. It was almost a relief when they did the second one, I hated being left lopsided.” She spoke like she was trying of humor but Imogen just shook her head again.

“We need to get you away from them.” Imogen said determinedly into the dark. Part threat, part promise, purely motivated and in the moment believing they could actually do it.

“Oh… Imogen, really. Don’t trouble yourself with that.” She said assuredly. “I… I’ve accepted my lot in life. And this… this bad thing has already happened. But ultimately I got to a good thing… you. And you make it unbelievably better by just… being.”

She felt Laudna smile and on another day that would be enough, but she retracted her hand and saw the faint mark of black from the tear she’d dried up, rubbing it between her fingers.

“I hope you don’t mind that I haven’t accepted it yet.”

And she heard a small appreciative hum that she decided to hold in her chest like a treasure.

“My brave girl.”

************

Laudna fell into a new routine with Imogen that made her think these were truly the best days of her life. She’d come see her every day she could, and every night. She brought the papaya that her sleepy self had forgotten and even stood in the kitchen with her, giving instruction on how to best prepare it while her father worked overnight on the barn repairs.

Imogen had kept the seeds and decided to plant them in her backyard, and Laudna had followed after her with the watering can, earning a laugh from Imogen at the sight.

A lot of days they’d just talk, or play tic tac toe with Imogen laying on her stomach next to the bed and passing the pencil back and forth.

The mark… Laudna understood now, was the compass she’d felt pulling her. That was the landmark. Imogen. It was always Imogen and she was fascinated by it. Imogen kept a wrapping over it, and her father never seemed bothered by it, only reminding her to clean it every so often, but at night she left it out on display between them. A part of her, the part that had experienced the bad, felt cautious and afraid of what that could mean that it stuck around. A part of her wanted to suck it out of her like a poison and free her of the branding. But Imogen… was very brave. Very capable, Laudna decided. And claimed she wasn’t afraid. So Laudna trusted her and followed her lead. Just so long as Delilah didn’t feel the pull the way Laudna did…

But the sorcerer had barely been to see her in the last week. She wondered if she was running out of assignments for her. She wondered if that would be a good thing or bad…

Imogen had brought a map home from the library one night and tried to find Whitestone on it, and Laudna did her best to help, til they ultimately decided it wasn’t in the book at all. Which meant they were literal continents apart. Imogen got really quiet after that.

“Hey… that’s pretty amazing that we know each other at all. How many people do you know from other halves of the world?”

“Just you.” Imogen said, relenting slightly, and Laudna had smiled at the minor victory. She didn’t want to be the cause of any grey skies for her.

She’d seen her have a few more nightmares, bringing her a cup of water and holding her hand after if she was there when she woke. One of those nights Imogen had muttered,

“I don’t know what I’d do without you Laud.”

And she swore her heart stopped. It was so new and special to be… wanted. To be needed… desired even.

One night Imogen had gotten some red thread from the store and braided a corded bracelet for Laudna. She’d been transfixed as Imogen reached through the shadows and placed it around her wrist, tying it tight so it wouldn’t fall off. 

“There, now wherever you go I’m with you too.”

Laudna had smiled so big she thought it’d never go away. Certainly stick around for a few years.

She’d asked Imogen to teach her, and made a very rudimentary version in turn.

“Not as nice as yours.” Laudna laughed apologetically, and Imogen had smiled that serene smile of hers and simply said,

“I’ll like it cause it’s from you.” as she placed it around her wrist securely.

And that funny new thing that had started happening happened again.

See, it was a little thing. Like a rabbit burrowing in her chest as if it were the earth. Or being struck by lightning, which she had adjacently experienced. Or like a sun setting, rising, and turning into a supernova all at once. Laudna had been noticing it more and more lately. Little things… big things… all things Imogen… would have that same feeling ignite. Randomly. At any time. Sometimes even just the thought of her… could trigger that reaction.

She was having trouble naming it, or really deciding if it was good or bad, but she’d decided as she did with most things Imogen that it was exceedingly good.

A new month was just beginning, Catha fresh in the sky as a young crescent and Laudna was laying under her bed, comfortably tracing imaginary shapes in the air around as Imogen read something above her.

“Hey…” She said suddenly, and Laudna paused, popping her other arm behind her neck and turning attentively to the side. “Do you… have other friends like me?”

Laudna chuckled, unexpectedly and shook her head even though Imogen couldn’t see it.

“Other friends like you? There is no one else like you dear.”

She didn’t know when she’d started ‘dearing’ her, they were just about the same age. 42 days apart, they’d discovered, but Laudna would take the win of ‘maturity.’

Imogen sighed in a little laugh and Laudna heard her close her book and adjust to lay on her side.

“I don’t have any friends like you either… I don’t think I ever… could, ya know?”

“Well I think you could do just about anything.”

She practically heard the eyeroll above her.

“Thank you oh benevolent one.” And now Laudna was chuckling. “But what I mean is… you’re… you’re really special Laud. In a lot of ways.”

That thing was happening again, and Laudna felt like she wanted to stretch the feeling out forever, weave it like a blanket, pour it down her throat.

“You are too. Not… not many people give the girl in the shadows a chance.”

“People are dumb.” Imogen agreed. “Because if they did… they’d see for themselves.. what a beautiful soul she is.”

Laudna thought the feeling was going to start spilling out of her. Like a pot left on the stove too long, boiling over, and burning in the best way. She opened her mouth, unsure how to express the feelings that only appeared when she was near Imogen, but sure she’d figure it out by the end of the sentence, but-

Suddenly-

She wasn’t alone in the shadows.

Suddenly a cold bead trembled down her spine, and she heard that voice- right behind her.

“Well there you are my little runaway.”

And she was being dragged away.

A shadow wrapped around her throat.

She cried out in strangled protest, in a panic as the room disappeared, and reached out blindly, trying to hold on.

But it was no use.

She was gone.

************

Imogen was laying in bed, both hands over her chest, drawing her fingers against each other and smiling the way only Laudna could make her when she heard it- felt it- when it all happened.

She’d heard the shadows wisp, felt that coldness in her hand in a new way, and then Laudna cried out like a wounded animal before her voice was getting farther.

Imogen rolled off the bed in a flash, grabbed the mattress and frame and flipped it up.

“Laudna?!” She called out without thinking better, and when her eyes saw it she dropped the bed and slowly sank to her knees. Her hands came up to cover her mouth, unsure of the sounds that were making their way out of her…

In the wood of the floorboards there were four lines dug desperately from a hand that had been reaching… trying to hold on… but was now gone.

Gone…

“No…” she whimpered, in disbelief. “Please no… Laudna…?”

There was no answer. She felt so scared. So small.

“Laudna?” She called louder, looking around the room to the closet, to the window. She got back to her feet and backed away from the claw marks in the ground. They made her feel sick. She ran out of her room, shouldering open the door and calling out into the sky.

“LAUDNA?!” Cupping both hands around her mouth and looking up to the moon, to the trees, to the garden, to anything… anything…

“LAUD!” She was trying not to fall apart. Her eyes stung from tears she wasn’t crying. Her lungs felt like they couldn’t take in any air, only burn around her friends name.

Suddenly there was a burning in her palm, like holding a hot coal. She cried out in surprise, pulling it close to look, but unable to see in the dark. She stumbled from the pain and the excess of emotion and when it stopped it was like it was still vibrating beneath her skin.

When she looked at her hand, holding it up to catch the faint bit of light from Catha, she saw the marks on her hand… the web that had held the shadow of her friend…

Blank.

The lines stayed, but now lacked any of the rich color… it was empty.

Empty… empty… empty… she was empty.

Laudna.

She was gone.

Chapter Text

It’s night. Imogen doesn’t much like the night. She doesn’t much care for the day either. Both are bout the same but… at least night’s are quieter, she tells herself.

True, nights mean a chance for the dreams to show their face… but she’s been dealing with that a decade now, they frustrate her more than they frighten. At least, that’s what she tells herself.

But days… days she has to be around people. Even just the few between work and town feel like too many once the thoughts start pouring in.

She shakes her head of it and sets her mind on finishing her tasks. She likes the barn at least, as she sits under its small interior with the door propped open to let in a bit of the breeze. It was the end of summer just becoming fall, and the smell of the wind was just beginning to change. She did love this time of year, and tried to focus on the good parts. The parts she still liked.

Pa and her had built this barn together the summer after Farramore’s entrepreneurship took off. One of his competitors moved out of town and he suddenly had all the business that was left behind. In celebration he’d actually paid his workers more, which meant that she and her daddy were still far from wealthy, but now they got two rest days a week (thought Relvan usually worked through his) and they had enough money to not be scraping by.

“See that Imogen,” he’d said a little awed and a lot proud when they’d been given that first bonus. “That’s why you stick things out when they’re tough… Good things are on the horizon.”

That had been the last real good year for them, right around when she was 18. The next year the voices started. And they hadn’t stopped since.

She sighed long and slow through her nose, setting down the boot and considering it polished, then flipping to the other one. Heart was braying in her stall, a sleepy sound as she settled in. She’d been an older horse they could afford from Farramore’s lot when they had the funds to buy one. She’d begged him to let her buy Flora, even offering to pay twice the price she ended up paying for Heart, but no dice. She still loved Heart. The horses had never treated her any different after everything.

She paused in her motion to reach over and grab her bottle of whisky, taking a long sip. She cleared her throat, feeling the burning flavor drip down. The burn was lessened by the amount she’d already had, but there’d still be enough left for another serving or two for her next lonely night. At least the hangover headaches could make her believe the pain was coming from something else, and not the curse beneath.

Her curse… she thought glumly, brushing off the tip of the boot and looking up toward the red moon in the sky.

Something about it… had been calling to her ever since that first red dream, but it made itself known a few years back… giving up on subtle apparently.

Imogen flexed her hands under the leather, feeling the thin raised edges of scars that etched like lightning. She could see them poking out faintly by her wrist and sighed a long sigh, trying to ground herself.

She’d tried to keep it secret for such a long time… but Gelvaan was a town that loved to talk. And her reading minds and having glowing scars sure traveled fast. Especially with everyone speculating constantly, and her getting to hear it as she walked by.

Wonder what happened… maybe her mother was the same… poor Relvan, must be so hard for him… should we do something about her… can we really just let her be out amongst the crowds?

It was like pins constantly being jabbed in her temples. Even if the thoughts weren’t directed at her, they were aggressive about somebody else. it was exhausting to look at everyone in the world and just see them miserable. Like she was.

She downed another long sip from the bottle.

The worst had been her dad…

She still remembered the day out at Farramore’s that he’d yelled for her to pick up the pace, she’d turned to look at his crinkled brows and heard the thought slip through. She hadn’t been able to help the thin gasp and hide the tremble of her lip, as she’d asked him… “You think I’m useless?”

His face had fallen instantly in confusion and maybe guilt before he grit his teeth and doubled down the other way, yelling “I’m not allowed to have a bad thought huh? No, gods forbid…”

It had all gone pretty downhill from there, so the both of them kept their distance. It made sense… really. Because that one had hurt more than all the other thoughts combined. She didn’t need to risk going through that again.

She placed the second boot down with a forced sigh. The intrusive thoughts really seemed to be out for vengeance tonight. She lifted the bottle and shook it slightly. Still a little over a quarter of it left. One more sip wouldn’t hurt… much…

She'd decided long ago int he night she’d end up sleeping out here anyway. There was her hammock in the corner she’d strung up and used most nights. It was just easier… than being in that room.

She set the bottle down and swallowed hard, the way she always did when she thought about her…

Those marks… were still dug into the wood under her bed… Even though she’d covered them years ago it was hard to be in that room and not think of them. To pretend they didn’t exist… and that that hadn’t been the last day she might have been truly happy.

The thought made her breathe once in either contemplation or a bastard laugh or an almost cry… it was hard to tell. Damns, she was really feeling it now if she let herself dwell on her… she’d always been so quick to squash down the feelings that followed. Any time she let herself think about it too much, she inevitably started crying, and explaining it when she was younger was too hard.

Back in the day when daddy would ask her what was wrong, why was she always crying, she’d have to say it was nothing and he’d have to accept it… cause how could she ever try to explain?

That she’d been present for the moment the person closest to her had been ripped away to her presumable death… felt the absence of her as her scar had lost its color and connection to her. Cried until morning came and her Pa found her outside laying by the garden.

Simply put, she couldn’t. So she didn’t bother. And he didn’t press.

There was enough that her and her father didn’t know about each other anymore, so it was just as easy to add this to the list.

But that room... it would always feel like another nightmare. Younger her had rearranged the furniture pretty immediately, putting the memory of it as far away from where she slept as possible and burying it under her dresser. She remembered holding onto the idea that she hoped it wouldn’t be too disorienting for Laudna if she ever did come back, having the bed in a different spot. Even then she wasn’t sure she believed it but... pretending she did was nice. She even put Ramoné down there for a long time to offer something familiar to the shadows.

It never changed, as expected. So she slept in the barn.

Her Pa had given up fighting her on it, and it fit their strategy to be almost perfect strangers to each other, so really the fight hadn’t been that hard to win.

She propped her boots by the door, still smelling strongly of the polish she’d used on them. Hung the brush on the hook by it and threw another handful of hay into the stall for Heart, who seemed to have already settled in for the night.

She flipped the bottle in her hand once, just to hear the sound of the liquid slosh against the glass, then looked up to the higher post and hummed. Her eyes darted around even though she knew she was alone and slowly… the bottle lifted from her hand… and she guided it to its hiding place among the rafters. At the perfect angle where no one should see it. Not that anyone would really be checking.

It always felt so… warm in her hands when she’d use this power. Like she’d high-fived the sun. But as soon as the power ended she’d close her fingers into a fist and berate herself for using it. She shouldn’t give into this thing… shouldn’t give it power over her.

But convenience couldn’t be beat when she was buzzed. She didn’t bother changing out of her vest or shorts tonight, simply making for the hammock and hauling herself up and in. The world still had a bit of noise that lulled her. A frog croaking it’s own symphony… a few chirping crickets… the trees as the early breeze pulled the sounds from their branches.

She turned on her side and looked at the shadow drawn in an elongated hammock shape and felt that pang in her heart again, shaking her from beneath the dust and cobwebs she’d buried it. The alcohol was certainly talking now, but she didn’t mind hearing it. So... she talked back.

Laudna… she thought hard, almost pushing the words out of her and up into the night to give it to someone else. Ruidus maybe. I really wish you’d show up tonight… right there beneath where I lay… wish I could still hear your laugh… wish you weren’t gone.

She sniffled once, but decided that was from the chill of the wind, and shifted slightly on the fabric as she felt her eyes grow heavy. The whiskey was doing its part, she thought foggily as she surrendered to sleep. Cause for a moment she almost could’ve sworn… that she heard a response.

An Imogen…? rolling in on the evening wind.

*************************

When Imogen woke she knew it hadn’t been long. It was still dark out, the sun a few hours from painting across her sky. Her buzz was still there, but receding. But something… something had changed.

She was confused… so she pushed up with her arm and looked around, letting her eyes adjust. The lantern had burned out long ago, not even a smell of the oil left, but a bit of the moons shown in, illuminating the hay on the floor. The room looked undisturbed but… there was something… something in her head that felt different.

What was it? She couldn’t put her finger on it.

She groaned a bit as she rolled herself over and put her feet on the floor, recognizing it was colder as she felt the goosebumps prickle over her legs. Autumn really was on its way. She rubbed her arms for a bit of friction, then pushed up to stand and looked around the space. She didn’t feel afraid… it was unlikely anyone was in here to hurt her, but… Why was it so different? What changed?

She took a few steps, looking up and around and clumsily, catching part of her foot on the polishing container she’d left on the floor earlier. She cursed herself as she stumbled toward the ground, and put her arms up to break her fall, but then-

Something reached out for her, catching her under one of her arms and for a moment she was suspended, staring at the ground from a few inches away and blinking at it. Then she was pulled gently back up to standing, and she stared at the shadow that was holding around her shoulder as it retreated.

She blinked, thinking this was certainly a dream. But usually the ones involving Laudna had the shadowed hands fleeing under the bed, wrapping around her friend and choking out her existence…

Imogen’s mouth opened as she turned to follow its line to the dark corner of the barn and for a second, just the craziest little second, she swore swore she saw the shadows dance. Just a bit. Just for a fraction of a fraction of a moment, but a lot like…

“La-“ She couldn’t quite form the words. Her throat suddenly felt dry. She must be seeing things. Seeing what she wanted. What was that sound? She crunched her eyes closed for a second, then readied herself and looked again toward the shadow.

“Laudna?” She asked. Heart hammering. Hope literally suffocating her for the second in between her question and the answer coming.

“Hello Imogen.”

That voice.

She gasped, hands coming up but unsure what to do with themselves. Like she was going to hug the shadow or tear her own hair out. She stepped closer, shakily.

“You’re… you’re here?” 

“I’m here.” Her voice echoed, but she could feel the emotion behind it. The… trepidation, excitement, all of it. Everything. It felt like everything in her words. The way she thought she might be feeling too.

“How? Why now?” She asked, voice cracking, feeling like the world was spinning in the opposite direction.

The shadows shifted for a second, and now she was fully awake. She saw them shape, not to an arm, but a torso… featureless and shapeless behind it all, before the flickering dark came and swallowed it again.

“You called for me.” She said after a moment, voice so soft even with its echoed whisper.

She recalled with a start the words she’d sent out to the ether before falling into sleep. She hadn’t meant to actually send them. Hadn’t even known she could… hadn’t known there was someone on the other end to hear them either.

“I’m sorry, should I not have come?” The voice suddenly sounded nervous, and the shadows flickered like a retreat. “I apologize… it’s been so long, I just… I should go.”

“NO.” Imogen said, pulling herself from her stupor to stick out both hands before her. “No, don’t- don’t go. Please don’t. I’m just… I’m so confused. I thought… I thought you were dead.”

There was a pause from the shadow but it seemed to lean back into the room.

“I thought she’d killed you.” Imogen murmured, lowering her hands and stepping forward. She had a flashback to that peaceful moment in her room when she’d reached through the shadow to touch her. She wondered if she could still do that now… now that the mark had left and been filled in by something else.

“She did.” The voice responded sadly.

Imogen’s mouth fell open, stunned, and she inhaled a shaky breath like a cry she couldn’t stifle.

“Are you a ghost?”

The voice hummed with a bit of humor to it.

“No… not so lucky.”

“I don’t understand.” And she didn’t. “But I want to Laud… gods do I want to.”

Now it was Laudna’s turn to inhale, and it felt like the shadows nodded to her.

“It’s a long story I’m afraid.”

“I got time.” Imogen countered. The shadows hummed in return.

“Meet me at sun-up?” She asked hopeful and Imogen was already nodding. She could sense the inch of grey working its way across the bottom of the horizon.

“Where?”

“Where’s a good place for you?”

Imogen thought for a moment, racking her brain for something close and something she knew while her whole world was changing in front of her.

“Top of the hill? Just south of here? There’s a few hay bales stacked around it.”

“Top of the hill it is.” Laudna agreed, and Imogen was already feeling elated.That she was here as an apparition or spirit or hallucination didn’t matter. Just so long as she was here.

“See you soon.” Imogen breathed and the shadows retreated. The coolness to the room went with it, and she turned to light the lantern and pull on her boots, running her fingers through her hair quickly as her ramshackle comb.

And in the absence of it she finally realized what it was that had made the space different when Laudna was there.

It wasn’t a quiet that she brought… it was a different sound all together, one unlike anyone else had possessed.

Now that it was gone it was easy to name it.

It had been almost like… music.

*************************

Laudna fell through the shadows and pulled herself away toward the hill Imogen had mentioned like a fish diving upstream, and as she untangled herself from the shadows she reappeared in her new form, looking around. 

Indeed there were hay bales stacked in flat rectangles, and she picked one to settle on and crossed her arms, taking in a long breath then letting it out.

She didn’t know what to think… Imogen had called to her… accidentally, it seemed, but still-

She’d called her. And now she was going to want to know what had happened… and Laudna didn’t know what to say.

So much. Too much truly, and she was loathe to recount any of it to someone as… bright and wonderful as Imogen. That her dark days would have to touch her world yet again.

She still thought of the time back under her bed with a great adoration. It had only been a month probably all together that they’d known each other across the ages of 7-12.

But she had been the most special person to Laudna for most of her life from those few interactions. Truly astounding to think, but honest. No one else had ever offered her such understanding.

So as she sat with her back to the sun just starting to rise she let her mind conjure what she would tell her of what had come to pass since she’d been gone…

************

“Well there you are my little runaway.”

And Laudna had screamed as the shadows wrapped around her neck, dragging her back with such force and intensity she wasn’t sure if up was down or left was right. The dark spaces she’d learned to traverse were suddenly foreign as a hostile entity scoured her through it.

When she came out the other side she blinked, also in a dark place, and was slammed onto a slab staring up at the ceiling of a high cavern, and in the distance some kind of temple…

“Bind her hands.”

And they did. Gagged her as well.

She understood what was happening before it did. They were finally ready… whatever they’d been preparing her for… they were done. And so she was too.

She struggled as much as she could, even though she knew it was inevitable. Why not go out fighting? When the blade dug into her abdomen and split her open on the alter she cried out into a dirty rag and she hoped it’d be over soon.

It was, luckily. But not before she had enough time to feel the rope tightening around her neck. She’d heard some mumbles of readying the coffin, of getting him prepared to receive the sacrifice, and one brief memory of Delilah smirking at her and saying something like, “I know it hurts now… but you will be all the more powerful for it.” 

It was very hard to follow any of the details through the pain, and as the black edged at her vision she welcomed it. Why not? She’d spent most of her time at the mercy of the dark, of course it would be there to greet her in the end.

Her eyes settled on nothing and the taste in her mouth she imagined was like an apple, trying to hold onto a good memory at the end.

She wondered about her parents… her siblings… and Imogen… she had just enough time to worry about her before she’d faded back to the shadows.

She stayed there for what felt like… a few seconds? Days? 30 years maybe… hard to know. She felt weightless in it. Still aware she was in the dark but not able to move or understand how to even begin.

And then there was a sound again… like birds flapping. Like voices. Like a shovel hitting wood. Like chants in another language and then a tether around her waist, pulling her.

She followed, unable to really fight it, and the sensations changed… suddenly the dark was grey and purple, not merely black. It was lighting up. Her hands… she had hands again… they were flexing. Her lungs were swallowing and then she sat up-

And looked around, blinking at her captors staring down at her in the ground.

She was in a coffin, undug earth around her, and looking up... beneath the massive tree at the center of town.

She felt her heart beat… lousily and with gaps. Her lungs moved but not with purpose. Her head, she could turn side to side, and when she looked down at her hands she saw she could control them.

She was back…

And it was terrifying and odd and everything hurt but something felt different.

Delilah muttered something to the others and drew Laudna’s gaze and they stared for a moment as Laudna felt not only herself but… the shadows differently. Like a click in the back of her mind.

Delilah’s eyes raised. She must’ve felt the change too. Her lips parted-

But Laudna was gone before she finished her words. She heard the echo of her scream in her mind and the space around her, but she was gone.

It wasn’t like a projection this time… it was like the shadows were parting around her. She was practically swimming down them, all of her together this time. Her arms and her body in the depths of the dark, tunneling down. Her face feeling the coolness tint her skin. She was there, all of her. But now wasn’t the time to be cocky. Delilah knew them too, she reminded herself.

So she exited just as quickly, dumping herself even she didn’t know where. Rolling out of the dark across grass and rock beneath some tall trees in an outcrop in the middle of a decent seeming nowhere.

She was breathing heavy like she’d been running. Hands shaking as she rolled onto her knees and palms, closing her fingers around the ground and laughing like a crying wolf at seeing her body back under her control.

Then she threw up. Dirt and blood and some kind of black goop.

She laughed mirthlessly when she was done with that too, tears dripping from her cheeks that she wiped on the back of her hand. They were black. That was a concern for later too. She pushed up on shaky legs and took in what she saw of herself… what had been left behind…

Not much as it turned out. Her clothes were still stained in blood, dried black over where the wound had been. Her skin was greyed and pale. Everything hurt and she was nowhere that she knew… but... and this was very important, she told herself-

She was alive.

And for the next 14 years she reminded herself of that every time things got scary.

Which was a lot of the time.

People weren’t thrilled to see what she had become. Understandable, neither was she. So not too many places let her stay long. But she had to make her way slowly, and avoid the shadows. She had a feeling once she touched them again it would be like drawing a honing beacon right at her. Drawing all of Delilah’s attention. And she would take legions of angry mobs over that woman any day.

At least until she’d been sure she was safe from her watch.

Along the way she had met some truly kind people that didn’t run her out with stakes and pitchforks, babbling about some perceived ill omen she brought, and those people had been like perennial flowers that stayed for a season at best.

A kind older couple that appreciated her help in the gardens enough they let her keep whatever she could pick.

A blind fisherman that told her stories of the ocean while she helped him filet his catch for the market.

A sweet elven seamstress who said they found her enchanting, helping her get new clothes from their discards and teaching her to use magic to sew.

She’d never thought to use her powers for other things…

And living… even when it was hard, felt a bit magical. Felt worth it for the good she’d experienced inside of the bad she’d been dealt. Far away from the people that had hurt her for so long.

But also far from...

She looked up from her musings and saw Imogen… walking in the early early light, and gods she was stunning. To see the woman she had become… hair grown out and wavy, lines of her face matured, jawline set. She looked up and saw Laudna on her path and froze, stilling for a moment, and Laudna realized she hadn’t seen her like this yet. 

The shadows that used to cover her like a cloak had smoothed over her head to toe making her look like the perfect shadow cut from the ground and propped up in three dimensions. It was a nice armor… that still let her be out in the world but a little less… monstrous.

She waved a bit stilted, unable to fight the urge, and Imogen cracked a smile, and gods she’d forgotten how lovely it was when she smiled. She felt her sluggish heart double its pace and felt… warm in her chest.

She didn’t feel warm anymore. 

Imogen came closer, a bit of an awkwardness that their prolonged time apart spoke to, but when she sat beside Laudna there was no hesitance. She didn’t seem afraid.

Once seated there was a moment of quiet before Imogen exhaled a long thin breath, flexing her gloved hands against the hay and rocking back on the seat, looking off over the hill.

Laudna mirrored her sound, sitting up straighter and placing her hands to either side of her lap, looking off in the same direction.

“How much do you wish to know?”

“Everything.” Came her answer, confidently and determined.

Laudna hummed, tapping her finger on the hay bale.

“Everything it is.”

Chapter Text

Everything, as it turned out, was a lot. A whole lot. But Imogen swallowed it down, held it in her stomach and let it grow from there between her gaps. Let it bloom a tree all its own inside her of Laudna, sprouted from the seeds she’d known of her friend. Let herself really see the person in front of her for all her pains and burdens... and support her.

The way Laudna was willing to share her dark had always blown Imogen away. She didn’t tell her story like she was trying to hide between it’s ledgers... so Imogen didn’t hide either. Didn’t hide her reactions, didn’t pretend hearing it didn’t destroy some part of her inside that had always suspected her fate. But also didn’t hide away from the details. She felt it like it had been her own body dragged away through the shadows. Let her mind see it in all it’s grim glory. Let her skin and heart ache, and let Laudna know… she wasn’t carrying this burden alone anymore.

“So… their theory was that my corporeal form was what was holding me back from phasing through the shadows completely, and their plan was… to separate me from it.” Laudna said, carrying on her tale. Imogen had gripped the hay so tight over the last half hour she could feel it imprinting against her skin.

“And so… so they did…” She glanced over at Imogen nervously, who kept looking straight ahead with a thin exhale.

“It’s ok, keep going.” She assured.

Laudna fiddled her hands in her lap and in one quick exhale sped through her words.

“They gut me on a ziggurat beneath the town, hung me from the tree in the center of it, then buried me beneath the roots.”

Imogen gripped the hay bale tighter, eyes clenched closed. Dammit, she was trying so hard to keep it together. She could feel the rope around her own neck. A shadowed hand barely grazed the back of her knuckles before disappearing. Not breaking her armor, not taking more than it thought she’d wish to give.

She heard her sigh again as she continued.

“I think they were ultimately trying to bring someone else back… and I was the trial run. They dug me up two days later, put my pieces back together and- well I hate to say it but they were right. After I was back it was like my powers had evolved. I didn’t reach through the shadows I fell through them. Corpse, mind and all.”

Imogen released the hay and turned to look at Laudna fully, finally. Feeling her eyes glossed over but honing in on her.

“A brush with death made me a better painter for the dark, I suppose.”

“So… you’re really here?”

Laudna’s smooth, expressionless face turned toward her and she took in the imprint of features hiding under that cover.

“Yes. I’m here. That moment I saw Delilah’s eyes and felt the change i just… slipped away from her, got out somewhere oof-“ 

Imogen threw her arms around her as soon as she understood, putting her head against her shoulder and holding her as tight as she could. She was taken by how chilled her skin felt. Like an icebox on a summer day. Refreshing. Comforting… truly what Laudna had always been to her.

But she was here. She could actually hold her now and that felt… monumental.

She might be embarrassed later by her reaction and feel the need to apologize, but Laudna was holding her back quickly and it felt… safe to lean into those gentle, cool arms.

“Laud I’m so… so sorry.” Her voice cracked a bit.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I just- I was right there. When it happened. And I couldn’t- it still- she just took you.”

Laudna pulled back slowly, keeping one arm looped around her shoulder and putting her face in Imogen’s eyeline. It was stunning to see the way the shadows danced around her this close, highlighting and simultaneously obscuring her.

“Now darling… you listen to me.” Her voice took on a weight of severity that had been missing through her own recounts of her murder. Imogen’s next breath stuttered. “You are not to blame. Neither of us could have stopped her. And what happened back then… you were my only source of light in a dark dark world. I’m sorry I… dragged you into my melancholy. I never wished for you to carry my burdens.”

Imogen shook her head before she’d even finished her senseless apology.

“Laud you don’t have to ask that. You’re just-“ she shook her head again, as if unable to find words that explained this big thing inside of her. Inside of them. “You’re a part of me.”

Her eyes darted to her gloved hand that had once held a literal piece of her.

Laudna’s thoughts hummed for a moment, and it was gorgeous. The sound was addicting… probably the best sound she’d ever heard. Imogen leaned back into her shoulder and Laudna held her in a comforting embrace. Imogen held her like if she let go she could be taken again. Could she?

“Do you still have to hide from her?” She asked softly. “Is she… is she coming back for you?”

“No darling,” She said with a long pause, running a soothing hand in small circles on her back, which made some sardonic part of Imogen laugh internally that she needed to be comforted in the wake of all of this, when it should be the other way around. “She’s gone from what I hear… though I worry that means very little to someone like her.”

If she ever came back… Imogen would absolutely sunder her.

“I’ve thought about you so much Imogen… missed you terribly, I just… after seeing the lengths she would go...” Laudna body felt very tense all of a sudden, like her whole self was stunned by the dread of the idea and her next words quieted with a grave importance. “If she could still reach me… I was not going to bring her to you.”

Imogen breathed in once, sharply, feeling a different chill down her spine. One of part fear and part loyalty.

“And then… by the time it felt safe to see you again… well I’d gone a bit mad in isolation. I’m a reanimated corpse- a twice-baked potato of a soul. I’m not the most welcome in towns given my shadowy state. I didn’t…” her shoulders sagged and Imogen was met with that same musical mind brushing up against her with fragments of concerns. ‘Want to hold you back- Bring this burden to you- Assume you still felt as I do-‘

Imogen pulled back, cautiously, chancing a look up at her and slowly bringing her hand up to that smooth cheek. She felt Laudna’s mind rise in timbre, then still from all other concerns.

“Laud… I’ve never feared you before. Just missed you.”

She paused and watched her reaction before continuing.

“And the fact that you came back at all… I didn’t know I could call you like that but I wish I’d done it so much sooner.”

She shakes her head on that one with a pressed smile.

“How did you call me?” Laudna suddenly asked.

Ahh that…

“Well you see…” Imogen looked in her mind, brushed up against the side of her conscious, saw the static it briefly made and in her head pushed the thought of, ‘You’re not the only one who’s had some changes.’

Laudna’s eyes, or where it looked like there were eyes, raised just about off her head all together.

‘Imogen…’ she heard back in her own head. ‘You have powers too?’

Imogen chuckled once, wiping a tear from her eye before it could form.

‘Something like that. Feels like more of a curse.’

Now Laudna reached for her and when that cool hand found her cheek her heart stuttered in a beautiful way.

‘I know a bit about curses. And you, miss Imogen Temult, could never be a curse.’

She thought the words with such determination and conviction that Imogen wanted to let herself believe it… almost did. But with someone holding her face so gently, telling her comforts and confidents… she felt the next tear just leak by.

‘It’s just so painful Laud.’ Even in her head her voice sounded weak, and Laudna’s essence curled around her, sympathetically and caringly. She brought their foreheads together and the cool balm was like medicine.

‘I know dear… great power usually is.'

“Imogen!” A voice echoed up the hill. Her Pa.

She turned in a flash and heard a wisp beside her as Laudna’s form vanished in a blur.

Relvan came into the clearing and looked up at her from about 40 yards down. He had an odd look in his eye and turned to the side before dismissing whatever thought was behind it. “Shift starts soon.”

He seemed a bit concerned, probably that she hadn’t been in the barn or the house, which was sweet in a little way. But less so given that this was as close as he wanted to come to her.

“Ok. I’ll be ready.” She called back, hoping he couldn’t make out the light tears in her eyes from where he was.

He looked like he had something else to say, but ultimately nodded curtly and began back down the hill. Imogen let out a long breath as he did. She turned back to look for Laudna and panicked at her absence before she realized that music hadn’t left. That sound was still planted in the subliminal space.

‘Laud?’ She asked, reaching out for her.

‘I’m still here.’

‘Where…’ she turned her head again and realized with a shocking clarity her own shadow… had a bit of that wispyness to it. Not a lot but… she thought she’d know it anywhere.

She reached down and pressed a finger to the surface, feeling its unnaturally cold surface. She breathed a laugh, stunned by it.

‘Will you… can you stay?’

‘Of course darling.’

**************************

Imogen went to work, and she literally couldn’t believe she was there. Like going about her routine as if her morning hadn’t shattered her world and pieced it back together into a totally new picture. Everything felt like a daze because she kept hearing that music… kept feeling that pleasant little chill… kept staring down at her shadow to see…

Laudna.

She was really here.

Throughout the day the thoughts would drift in from other farmhands, not complete just fragments. Fucking hot today… smells like shit… is that Temult girl… Farramore can kiss my… where’s the hammer?

But then throughout it there was this soft… humming. Every time she’d feel it creeping back in like a breeze. It broke up all the monotony and malice with something like… sugar. Like honey on your finger.

She caught herself freezing up every time, smiling and getting swept up in it. 

‘Laudna?’

‘Yes Imogen?’

Her heart startled every time at the answer.

‘What’s that you’re humming?’

‘Oh! Just a little song I made up. It’s always a little different but… fills in the silence with something a little more pleasant, don’t you think?’

‘I do. It’s like a little bird on my shoulder.’

‘Or on your foot?’

She chuckled and heard Laudna match her, and this… this was incredible. Her great crux… her painful power that tormented her… now let her carry a secret conversation with her friend right there in front of everyone. She’d never used it to her advantage.

“Temult! Pick up the pace, you’re staring off into nowhere!” Another farmhand was yelling from across the way.

‘Oh dear, he seems to have quite the stick up his ass.’

Imogen had to cover her mouth to hide her subsequent laugh.

‘I’ll leave you be though. We can talk later.’

‘Course. You’re gonna stay though?’

‘I’m going to stay.’ She sounded so fond when she said it Imogen had to believe her.

She kept going through the day and by the end of it another farmhand, a girl a few years younger than Imogen, had called her out as well.

“Why you so smiley Temult? I don’t think I’ve ever seen your teeth before.”

Imogen’s eyes perked up, and she felt a little silly how close she wore her emotions to her sleeve. She merely shook her head though, hoping it was blasé enough to be let go.

“Just a good day I guess.”

“No headaches today?”

Imogen stopped to think about it, but noticeably… no. No pinching, no pulsing, no absolute crushing pain between her eyes. Everything was calm.

“No… guess not.” She said, sounding surprised herself. The girl hmm’ed, and kept on her way while Imogen walked over to Heart, unhitching her from the post. It had felt like such a good day she kind of couldn’t believe it was coming to an end.

When she stepped around the side of the horse and walked the first few steps she heard Laudna’s presence brushing against her mind and focused on opening her conscious to connect to her again.

‘Laud?’ She might’ve sounded a little too eager.

‘Hello! Is the coast clear?’

‘Oh!’ Imogen looked around and didn’t see anyone within eyeshot, and didn’t hear any thoughts close enough to catch her. ‘Yeah I think we are.’

‘Ok! I’m going to step out ok?’

And Imogen watched her shadow stretch, like a genie coming out of a lamp, or a tea kettle pouring a spout of tea, and then sitting criss-cross before her and Heart was that same shadowed figure from the morning. Literally like her own shadow, with all it’s elongated features had become three dimensional and take on an action all it’s own. It felt like she needed to pinch herself to make sure it was real.

“Hello again!” She waved from her spot and Heart pulled back on her reigns for a second, whinnying from a bit of surprise, before leaning back in and sniffing the new shadowed figure. “Oh and hello to you! Who’s this beauty?”

Imogen held the reins tighter until she saw that Heart was more curious than spooked.

“The newest member of the family. This little lady is Heart.”

“Aww and what a refined lady she is.”

One shadowed hand rose a bit above the horses eye line and scratched her nose gently. The horse pulled back and blinked at her before leaning back into the touch. Imogen chuckled at the display.

“Think she likes me?”

“Ya know she doesn’t often warm up to other people but… yeah, this is pretty good for her.” Heart pushed her hand with her nose playfully. “She’s at least fascinated by you.”

“I do have that effect on horses. People not so much.” Laudna said with a hint of self-deprecating humor.

“Well you’re not doing too bad with people either.” Imogen said softly, and saw the way Laudna turned toward her and heard her mind pick up with those sweet chimes again.

She offered her hand to try and fight her blush and Laudna took it as she pulled her up to her feet.

“I was going to head home but it’s kind of beautiful out right now.” She turned her head around the space and took in the setting sun, just about a foot above the horizon. Usually by this point in the day she couldn’t wait to get home and hide away from the world but… she felt like she was working on borrowed energy today. Very not like herself, but a version of her she could be happy in. It was borderline absurd, and she knew it, but… it was true.

Laudna had that kind of effect on her.

“It really is… look at the way the light hits those leaves.” She gestured with that shadowed arm over toward the trees and Imogen’s smile just kept growing. She was right, but also just… what a beautiful thought. This woman was full of beautiful thoughts. She could hear the sentiment echoed in her mind, these words weren’t a cover for what she was really thinking... the way everyone else’s was.

“You wanna go on a ride with me?” Imogen asked, feeling a little prick of excitement at the idea. “Me and Heart that is?”

Laudna looked giddy at the idea.

“Really? Oh that’d be so grand. I’d love to! Is that… is it ok? Should I hide while we ride or…”

“Absolutely not. We’re going somewhere kind of remote, so you wouldn’t have to hide. I mean, if you’re ok with it of course.” She said, already picturing the place in her mind of where she’d like to take her. She kicked a foot at the dirt with a little smile on her face thinking of it.

“Okay! Well I trust you darling, if you say it’s safe then…” she could feel the smile even though she couldn’t really see it. “I’d love to go on a ride with you.”

Imogen lit up. She didn’t know why but her answer had seemed so important.

“Great! Well let’s get a move on.” She hoisted herself up on Heart and then smiled down at Laudna with her hand outstretched again to pull her up onto the horse. “Just put your foot there in the stirrup, alright?”

Laudna nodded, taking her hand and putting a foot on the designated place before Imogen pulled her the rest of the way up. She was light as a feather. She probably toted bags of flour and sand the weight of 15 Laudna’s on the daily.

“Comfy?” She said looking over her shoulder and Laudna nodded, gently putting her arms around her waist and Imogen smiled all the more, before giving the reigns a quick shake and Heart was taking off down the hill.

************************

Laudna held her arms around Imogen’s waist and felt… exhilarated. Whatever turn of events brought her to this moment, she wouldn’t question. Just count her good fortune to be sitting with Imogen after all this time. Seeing what a wonderful woman she grew to be. What a beautiful soul. And someone who still somehow asked her to stay.

They tore through the woods, branches and bushes disappearing behind her in flashes, the sound of the hooves hitting the ground in a steady rhythm. The sun peeking through the canopies above until they cleared out over a hill, along a river, through a path of bogland, it was truly a wonder. She tried to take in all the details. The colors of the flowers, the reflection of the light on the riverbank, the smells changing as the fauna around them did, and then finally Heart started to slow as Imogen clicked her tongue and sat up a bit straighter.

They were in a clearing now, a gorgeous little circle of trees lining around them, but leaving the sky open just as the sun was about to kiss the horizon.

Imogen hummed, satisfied, and lowered herself off the horse effortlessly, then reached back for Laudna who took her hand and help graciously. She was sure she looked quite a bit jerkier getting back to the ground, but she was focused mostly on the touch of Imogen’s hand in hers. She smiled at her a bit longer before finally releasing her hand and taking Heart over to a tree to hitch her up. Then pulled out some oats and littered them around.

“Eat up girl, that was a good run.” She said to the horse with a pat before moving back over to Laudna. “This is one of my favorite spots to come on my own.”

“I can see why. It’s lovely out here.” Laudna looked up around the space and saw the birds and their nests up in the tree branches, the distant river hidden over the overhanging of trees, the edge of a cliff in the distance.

The two of them meandered toward each other and took a seat on the forest floor. Imogen leaning back on her hands out to her side. Laudna matching her. The two of them looking up toward the setting scrap of sun and just watched for awhile.

“So… is there anything new with you?” Laudna said, trying for casual. Trying to make it clear that Imogen could refute her, and she didn’t miss the way that her body tensed. “That’s a dumb question. It’s been 14 years, I know there are new things.”

“Yeah… yeah there are some new things.”

“Like the-“ And Laudna tapped the side of her temple and Imogen nodded.

“There’s more.”

“More?”

Imogen nodded again, and then looked at Laudna and took a deep breath. She lifted one of her hands and focused her eye on some of the fallen leaves between them. Laudna watched, transfixed, as they slowly rose up into the air, as if a breeze was picking them up to carry them off.

“Oh, Imogen that’s incredible.” She said, awe dripping from her words.

Imogen chuckled once, a little sarcastically, then turned her head, leaving the leaves to fall back to the ground. “I don’t know about all that.”

Laudna blinked, confused, and tilted her head.

“No?”

“No… it’s… it’s not been a good thing. These things keep happening. And sometimes I feel like…” She shifted, pulling her knees into her chest. “I feel like I can control them, but a lot of the time I just feel like it’s conducting around me... through me. And most days I just wish it would go away.”

Ahh, Laudna hadn’t heard these words in awhile. Not since she’d thought them herself… long ago. A scared girl teleporting from bedroom to bedroom, shadow to shadow, world to world at random. Sought into slavery by it. Killed for it.

Imogen bit her lip and stared down at her gloved hand, and not for the first time Laudna recognized the faint glowing edges barely poking out from around the material. After another second or two of contemplation Imogen unfastened the buckle and pulled it off with a deep breath, turning the revealed flesh toward Laudna for inspection.

She saw there… where once she recalled black veins running, they’d been replaced. Grown over by something all her own… It looked like lightning etching its way into her hands, slightly raising the skin around the thin lines of lilac that matched her hair and eyes. It was beautiful in its own way, but Laudna understood. It was a mark. A mark of an outcast.

“Do they hurt?” Laudna asked gently, cupping the back of her hand with her own to better study them. Imogen shuddered a bit, probably from her cold touch.

“Not always…” She said, and Laudna felt a sadness thinking of what she’d had to deal with on her own. It was not an easy thing… having an affliction no one else did, and that no one wanted to aid you in.

But…

“Can I tell you something?” Laudna asked, suddenly feeling like the words she had to impart onto Imogen may be the most important thing in the world. Those lavender eyes turned to her and looked incredibly focused. Maybe believing the same thing. She nodded once.

“My powers… they’ve given me a great deal of trouble on paper.” That much was obvious to the both of them. “But… they’re also how I escaped. They’re how I found you. They’re how I’ve seen the world, how I’ve hidden myself from danger, how I’ve wrapped myself in protection, how I’ve mended things, how I heard you…”

She looked up at her again and saw a bead of understanding growing. Saw her mind potentially changing on the matter. She pressed on.

“These abilities are a part of you. Denying it… doesn’t make them go away. It doesn’t lessen their hold over you, but rather lessens your hold over them.”

Imogen’s lips gasped in a silent exhale, but her eyes never moved. Didn’t even blink.

“Just like any other part of yourself… embrace it. Then the scary thing… the unknown part that makes it feel so unsurmountable… that part vanishes. And then it’s only you again.”

Laudna felt something rise in her chest at her own words. A validation in a way. Probably the one good thing she’d done for herself was master this part of her life that feared itself for what it could or could’t do. She felt comfortable here, and wanted to make it a place that Imogen could be comfortable too.

“I know that’s a lot of talk coming from the dead girl curled in the shadows, but it’s true darling. And… if you wish it, I’ll be here. To be a sort of tour guide if you will. It would seem our powers are very different, but perhaps I can at least help you direct that energy that always feels like it’s bubbling up inside of you, and expel it, redirect it, hone it. Make it yours.”

Imogen swallowed, looked back at her feet and shook her head with the smallest smile on her face.

“I’d really like that Laud.” She said smally, and leaned into her side, resting her head for the second time today on Laudna’s shoulder. She beamed, holding her back in her arms, and enjoying this idea of being useful. Of finding a way to help someone that was so important to her.

“There she is.”

She held her for a few more minutes, the sun starting to dance about half way over the horizon. Nothing felt like it needed rushing or saying in this moment.

“Where do we start?” Imogen finally asked, softly breaking their settled silence.

Laudna hummed. “Wherever you like. My recommendation would be something small. Like, for example-“ She waved her hand over the ends of the glove Imogen had laid on the ground and the place where the stitches were worn and starting to pull apart mended themselves back together. Imogen’s eyes widened.

“That’s amazing.” She said, almost reverential, running a glowing finger across the seam.

“It’s a very handy little trick when you’re on your own.” Laudna agreed, thinking of all the things she’d mended over the years. She hadn’t settled down much or often. It was hard to stay, easier to stay moving, but mending broken things along the way certainly made it harder to be left wanting.

Imogen uncurled herself from the embrace and looked at the forest floor around her.

“I guess I can start with something familiar…” She focused on a stick this time and lifted it off the floor a few inches.

“Very good. How does that feel?”

Imogen’s brow furrowed in contemplation. “Like… a vibration connecting me through the air to the stick. An invisible line.”

Laudna smiled, fascinated. She was doing so well already.

“How high can you send things?”

“Don’t know. Never tried.” Imogen said looking at the stick still as it hovered in its space.

“No time to try like the present.” Laudna said encouragingly and Imogen hummed in agreement. The stick started inching higher, Imogen’s arm came up to guide it and it slowly carried to about eye level.

“About to there.” Imogen said, a bit of strain to her tone.

“Incredible, very nicely done dear.” Laudna repeated her praises, and Imogen cracked a small smile at her words. She glowed inside knowing she’d made her smile.

They tried many things after that. Bringing it back down, spinning it in the air, clockwise, counter clockwise, pushing it in bursts. Grabbing larger things. Smaller things. Trying to pick up multiple leaves at once.

She watched sweat bead at her temples, watched that line in her forehead draw itself again and again as she focused, and underneath it… she saw the way she was starting to smile into it. Starting to get the hang of it. And starting to feel that elation at understanding a new part of herself. 

Laudna jumped backward through a shadow and landed by a tree, grabbing a fallen pinecone from the ground and shaking it to get Imogen’s attention.

“Want to try moving targets?” 

And then they did. Catching them midair, pushing them backwards, sending them upwards. It didn’t always take, and sometimes the control would fade, or miss, or slip, but she was getting it. Little by little.

The sun was gone by the time she noticed Imogen’s breath coming in in short pants, and she smiled to herself, waving her arm to get her attention as she had been holding 12 different leaves an inch off the ground.

“That may be enough for the first day darling, don’t want to fatigue yourself.”

Imogen nodded sagely, and took a breath, closing her eyes as she slowly lowered the leaves down and Laudna’s heart swelled with something. Affection didn’t seem a strong enough word. Admiration was lacking. Nothing could capture it all, but damn, was she enamored with her.

“Can I ask you a question?” Imogen looked back at her and Laudna nodded. “You said earlier… you wrap yourself in the shadows?”

Laudna’s thoughts paused, but she nodded again.

“So… does that mean you can drop them, too?” Imogen asked, a sense of eagerness to her words.

But Laudna’s whole body was suddenly stunned, like her pulse had stopped again.

“Yes… I technically can.” Her words tasted bad, her heart was spinning, hoping this wouldn’t go where she thought it was about to.

But Imogen was looking toward her with those intent eyes, brilliant like two stars glowing in the fading light and early night.

“Well… I think it’s mighty unfair that you’ve gotten to see me, and I haven’t gotten to see you.” Her tone was determined, but she sensed the softness in it. There was room to refute, but… how could she explain the reason? How could she tell her, Darling… you don’t want to see this. No one wants to see this. People have chased me from every edge of the world for what I am, please don’t… don’t make me show you. Don’t let me make you one of those people.

Because she thought she knew Imogen well enough to know she’d drop it if she asked her too, but that she would assure her against all assurances that she would never react that way. And part of her…

Gods, part of her so so hoped she wouldn’t. That she could find that affirmation in her friend.

But wasn’t that too much to ask? She’d already given her so much.

She wrung her hands before her, thinking of their greying flesh… the thin hair with it’s bleached streak… the black that hung at her fingernails… her too dark eyes and too dark lips… just the wrongness of all of her.

“Are you… sure you want to see?” She said, hearing the way her own voice dropped. Like a mouse yelling down a hall. But that look in Imogen’s eyes… how they crinkled so fondly, and shone like suns giving light to a wilted plant.

“Laud, I’ve literally been dreaming of it since I was seven… I’m sure. But… if you’re not… I don’t mean to force you ok? I…” She paused, and now there was a crinkle in her brow of concern. “I want you to always get a say with me. So if you’re not ready today… or not ready ever… I’m still just so happy you’re here.”

Gods, her voice was beautiful. Her words were beautiful. The acceptance she offered… ugh, Laudna reached for her hair, remembering she couldn’t touch it in this form. She really… really wanted to be brave for her. Wanted to be strong the way Imogen had been.

She could do it. She could do it.

“Alright… if you’re sure.”

She took a deep inhale, let it out in a breath… and lifted the shadows.

************************

Imogen felt like her heart was going to turn to fairy dust and blow away on the midnight breeze.

The shadows, parted around her, disappearing into the ground like paint dripping off of a fresh canvas, and left kneeling in the dappled light of the treeline…

Was a girl, around her age, with long black hair. A beautiful splash of white running down the center to the back with a small rock chisel holding it up in an adorable bun. Her skin so light it looked like the surface of Catha. Like she was made of moon. Smooth and delicate, accept down to her fingers where the black clung to it. Kind of like her own hands, where the magic made itself known.

And then on the one wrist. Her breath literally stalled inside her. She saw a thin, red corded bracelet. One she made years ago. Her own had aged and fallen off, and she stashed it between the pages of her Adventure Book, but Laudna… was still wearing hers.

She walked closer, like it was a dream. A good one. Something she wasn’t sure she’d had in over a decade.

She dropped to her knees directly in front of her, breath shaky now that she was this close to someone she’d only ever imagined. She was absolutely… gorgeous.

“You still have it?”

She said looking right at her wrist, and those dark, hazel-flecked eyes followed her down to the red bracelet.

“Of course. It’s my favorite thing.” She said soft and musically. Her voice sounded different free of the shadows. Not bad different.

Imogen looked up at her, and felt the overwhelming emotion building past her senses. It was too much in the best ways. She took in all the details now that she was face to face. The fine lines around her eyes, the faded scars, the way her fabric had been sewn back together and probably mended over the years, aged gorgeously against her pale skin.

Her hand came out to trace the side of her face and she saw the way she inhaled as she did. She found every memory she had of her replaying with this new face behind it. Imagining her younger, with hair in a long braid behind her back. Imagining her laying under her bed, holding her hand. Imagining her standing in the kitchen, pulling her from a burning barn, playing tic tac toe, laughing, crying, everything they’d experienced.

Her finger grazed a gold chain and she turned her head to see these gold caps over top her ears and remembered the story she’d told her… of what they’d done to her at that place. And this… this was the epitome of it. This was what she did with the bad… she made it gold. Made herself the better for it. And Imogen was coming to learn that she didn’t even know how impressive it was.

Laudna looked like she hadn’t breathed in the last 60 seconds, and Imogen was pretty sure she was in a similar boat. She held her eye now, saw how she looked at her, saw those darker than dark pupils that seemed to fill her whole face and thought she could get lost in them… and then those dark perfect lips smiled… so so softly…

And Imogen leaned in and kissed that smile.

Chapter Text

When Imogen hefts herself back up into Heart’s saddle it’s dark out. The sun is long gone and the crickets have begun their nightly song. But Imogen’s face is still glowing like it’s sitting around an open flame. She kind of can’t believe she did that… but she also can’t believe she met the real Laudna after all this time.

She turned over her shoulder and felt the wind leave her lungs all over again at the sight of the dark haired, pale skinned, spidery young girl that was absolutely… gorgeous. Drop-dead, she’d daresay if it wasn’t so poor in taste. (She had a feeling Laudna would like the joke anyway.)

Laudna looked shyly at her hands, then at her, then back at her hands, and Imogen caught the faint whimsical orchestra that was Laudna’s mind, carrying effortlessly into the night. They hadn’t said much to each other since well… their kiss… but they also hadn’t gone more than three seconds without glancing at the other one and holding their eye. It was like they were getting caught looking over and over again, but no one was actually handing out reprimands.

“Ready to ride?” Imogen said softly, hoping to sound casual and cool and ugh, she liked her so much. It was crazy how she hoped everything she said would make Laudna feel so many things. Feel anything close to the cocktail of emotions swirling inside her for the last 24 hours.

Laudna’s eyes danced up to her, glowing impossibly large, and nodded with the smallest little smile before extending that thin arm of hers up to take Imogen’s outstretched hand and even though her touch was chilled it made her feel warmth like fire from where their hands touched to the base of her neck.

She hauled her up like she weighed nothing at all (she really did, Imogen was half-convinced she was full of air) and felt her situate herself behind her in the seat. Her arms came up to slowly wrap around her midsection and her chin rested on her right shoulder. She’d done the same thing on the way there, but… something about this time felt so different. Probably cause it was. Hell she’d kissed her, she’d seen her true face, she’d felt that acceptance and tested her powers with the guidance of someone who made her not afraid of what her powers were… it was completely different 3 hours later.

She clicked her tongue and kicked her boots and Heart started trotting off toward home.

When she got back to the barn she noted the lights in the house weren’t on. Pa was probably still at work. They’d wordlessly agreed to take opposite shifts at Farramore’s to extend the amount of time they didn’t have to see each other. At the moment it was great, because it meant Laudna didn’t have to hide. Once Imogen had gotten Heart nestled back in her stall with a fresh barrel of oats and a good pat on the shoulder she turned back to see Laudna fidgeting from foot to foot and looking around sharply out into the world from their modest overhanging.

“You alright?” She asked, then winced when she saw the way her body tensed, like she hadn’t expected any sound to ever appear again.

“Yes, yes, fine!” She said, grinning wide and frantically. Imogen smiled, unable to hide it. She loved actually hearing her voice.

“Is it…” And she paused, wanting to find the right words to ask and not offend. “Is it hard being out of the shadows?”

Cause she was truly hoping that was the change that made her uncomfortable and not the fact that she had kissed her.

Laudna paused, dropping her too wide smile that she’d thrown on to be ‘convincing cover’ and before responding she looked like she was really considering her answer. Her forehead got this very cute, distinct line down the middle when she was thinking. It was kind of addicting noting all these details about her.

“Yes… I suppose it is.” Laudna said ultimately, and exhaled a bit of a sigh in her shoulders then smiled back at her, looking lighter for the admission. “It’s been quite awhile since I’ve left them behind. I tend to wear it like armor.”

“Weren’t you out of them for like a decade?” Imogen asked, curious now.

“Yes… and that wasn’t my favorite decade.” Laudna said, staring off and nodding. Her eyes looked like they were reliving something unsavory, and fragments of it suddenly started assaulting her.

Crowds formed, holy figures at the front screaming at her to be gone, flames going up around her, knives being pulled, children screaming, dirt being thrown-

Imogen gasped, she didn’t mean to, she didn’t even mean to see it, and her hand flew to cover her mouth. Laudna merely looked at her apologetically.

“Sorry darling, it’s not so nice to see up in here.”

Imogen shook her head fiercely, eyes still stinging like she might cry.

“No, no I- I didn’t mean to invade, I’m so sorry.”

Laudna tilted her head and came a bit closer. “You’re always welcome in here darling. I just… have to warn you that it’s a tread with caution kind of atmosphere.”

“I don’t even mean to tread half the time.” Imogen said quietly, shaking her head.

Laudna looked thoughtful up to the rafters for a second, then back at Imogen with a new smile, one Imogen hadn’t seen before.

“Maybe that’s something we can work on next.”

Imogen smiled softly back and nodded. Something about ‘we’ just hit different.

She felt the weariness hitting her finally of the day. Whether from the emotional, the mental, or the physicality of the day. Or all of it together. She felt a yawn come on and covered it with the back of a hand.

“You’re tired. You should rest dear.”

“What about you?” Imogen asked, suddenly very worried about the idea that Laudna was leaving. She hadn’t considered it but-

Laudna looked around the space.

“Think Heart would mind a cuddle buddy?”

Imogen sighed in quick relief and shook her head. “I have a better idea.”

The two of them entered her bedroom and Laudna smiled, looking up around at the ceiling like seeing an old friend.

“You moved your bed.” Laudna said in passing, nodding toward where the made cot sat in the corner.

“I did.” Imogen said, surprised for a moment that she would remember that. But that moment was probably as imprinted in Laudna’s mind as it was Imogen’s. “After uh… after you left I didn’t really like… the reminder.”

Laudna’s eyes shot up, connecting the dots and nodded once, letting that story leave itself there in the past.

“Gimme a hand with this?” Imogen said, clearing her throat and taking up the side of the cot. Laudna nodded quickly and moved over to the other side, making a show of pretending to roll up her sleeves that had Imogen rolling her eyes affectionately.

“On three.”

And the two of them heaved the bed out of her room, down the hall, and out the door with minimal clanging and a lot of laughter. She felt free… even just being around her friend and laughing at their combined efforts. They were down the porch and halfway back toward the barn when she felt Laudna pause.

“Laud? You good?” She asked, looking back from their destination to her companion who had dropped her half back down to the ground and was looking off to the side, mouth parted.

“They grew.” She said, a bit awed, and Imogen followed her eyes to her and her dads garden, curious for a second before she saw-

The papaya trees. From the seeds Laudna had given her all those years ago. She smiled softly, remembering those early years when the stalks had started to push through the dirt, how tirelessly she watered them, how excited she’d been when they bore their first harvest.

Now seeing the small clump of them, a bit taller than she herself was, really put in perspective how long ago it had been that she planted them…

And how happy she was she never gave up on them.

“They sure did.”

**************************

The two of them successfully moved Imogen’s bed out to the barn, which Laudna was thoroughly entertained by. When she first walked in that room though she could see right away how long ago Imogen had outgrown it. The woman she was now didn’t belong inside the mold of her 10 year old self. And when Laudna’s eye was inevitably drawn to the place she recalled with quiet clarity where she’d appeared many a time and been dragged away from once… she understood why that space was poisoned to her.

So they dragged the bed to the barn. That was the solution. She’d assured Imogen at first that she could go back to the shadows and just make this easier for them, but the look Imogen had affixed her with after let her know she would lose that argument.

“I don’t want you to have to hide from me.” Imogen said finally.

A cool breeze had blow between their sacred silence after that as Laudna let herself feel those words, the power of them, the weight. And then Imogen had shrugged adorably so and kicked her foot at a small clump of dirt and added, “Hammock hasn’t been doing my back any favors anyway. We might as well take the perfectly good bed that’s just sitting there.”

Laudna had a feeling when those sensation had flooded her earlier Imogen got an eyeful of more than she let on, but she didn’t yet know the extent and wasn’t trying to push too too hard on it. Her past was something she was sure would come to light more and more if she stayed and…

She was really coming to hope she could.

Imogen’s reaction to seeing her had been… beyond what one could have ever hoped for. Not repulsion, not pretend kindness… but… 

Her heart would probably just combust if she thought about it for too long.

Imogen hadn’t said anything else on the matter, so she hadn’t wanted to bring it up either and make a thing out of it. She wasn’t sure she’d constructed her own reaction to it all to well yet anyway. She kept getting stuck at, ‘WHY? Why would someone like you ever want to kiss someone like me? What could you possibly see here that is worth what you’ve given me? How are you so beautiful?’

And then the loop would restart or just continue into syllables and she would have no clearer answers. So instead of driving herself mad, she accepted it for now. It had been a very eventful day, not just for herself but also for Imogen. She could see the tiredness taking over in the way she’d have to shake her head to stay awake, in the way she kept rubbing out one shoulder, in the way she was sighing through her nose after each little action.

Magic really took it out of you in the early stages, and Imogen had achieved much today. She was truly incredible.

Laudna’s eyes went up to trace her moves through the room as she unhooked the hammock and balled it up to store in the corner. She turned back and paused for a moment, now registering the bed between them.

“So…”

“So…”

They spoke in almost unison and it seemed to break whatever tension was in the air, cracking them both to smiles. They walked closer toward each other like a magnet had pulled and paused for just a second before Imogen pulled her into another hug that she eagerly accepted.

“It still doesn’t feel real that you’re here.” Imogen said softly into her shoulder. 

“You still don’t feel real. It’s almost…”

“Too good to be true?”

Laudna chuckled once and nodded.

“Far too good actually. But it is, isn’t it?” She thought her voice might have dipped in too much hope, but pretended she’d put on a brave face.

Imogen pulled back smiling at her, eyes so powerfully understanding and enrapturing.

“Yeah… I think this gets to be real now.”

Laudna beamed, letting those words fill and surround her. Forging a new armor made of that light and hope. She nodded and wrung her hands, having to break that beautiful gaze that she still wasn’t quite sure she deserved. 

Imogen sat on the edge of the bed and started unlacing her boots, then looked over her shoulder and patted the bed to encourage Laudna to sit. She did, if only to make her happy and because doing as Imogen asked felt like an easy auto-response.

She laid down slowly, flat on her back and with her arms crossed over her chest like she was getting into a coffin. Imogen chuckled.

“You can relax, ya know?”

“This is my relaxed.” Laudna said and Imogen laughed harder. Laudna smiled at the sound, feeling lighter every time it broke around them.

“What’s your tense look like then?” She asked, rolling onto her side and shifting the blankets.

“Like this.” And Laudna just made her eyes wider which earned another laugh from Imogen and Laudna broke, laughing too.

“Really though… is this okay?” She said softly. And just like that it was. Just like that… she was seven years old making a friend she couldn’t wait to know more about. And just like that they were 26 and she was getting that chance…

“This is okay.” Laudna said, turning her head to look at her on the pillow beside her. Her hair tousled a really adorable way that Laudna cataloged with all the new information she had of her. “I’m just… really happy.” Her voice broke at the end there and Imogen’s smile creased at her eyes, nodding at the sentiment. She put her hand between them as soft invitation that Laudna took relatively quick. Feeling her fingers thread with her actual hand, not a shadow, but her own pale, chilled skin… it was beautiful. She was so beautiful…

They fell asleep not long after, smiles hurting their cheeks, and just that idea playing out in her head…

‘I’m so happy… truly… I didn’t know I could be this happy again.’

In the morning Laudna stirs first. She doesn’t sleep much after everything that happened to her. Prefers not to at least. But when she wakes she sees the peaceful face of Imogen right before her… and she thinks she may never wants to sleep again. Never blink and miss a moment of it. Her hairs, loose around the ends and shining off little bits of reflected light. The finer freckles on her face that paint such interesting paths along her nose and cheeks. The soft inhale and exhale of her chest and the subtle sound it makes.

And being there to witness it, a triumph. Truly, for it took many victories to have this moment. Many unexpected routes and impossible things to make this possible…

Then she heard footsteps approach and her eyes shot up as she surrounded herself in the shadows again and retreated into the morning shades of barn and bed that flattened along the room.

As she went she caught a quick glimpse of Imogen’s father poking his head in and his eyes were wide for a moment before he blinked them away and rubbed his face against his palm.

He looked at his daughter again and there was a certain… strained fondness there. Something pained and fragile and showing a lack of understanding… but still, there he stood. He shook his head once before drawing the blinds and shutting the door to give her some privacy, and Laudna stayed in the shadows incase he or anyone else came back.

The last thing she wished to do was make things any harder for Imogen. And explaining this sudden pale stranger to everyone else… well…

That had only ever brought trouble. Best to keep the beast tied to the shadows.

**************************

The rest of the week was kind of a dream. A blur, but… a good one.

They had their new routine, the two of them, and Laudna would hide in the shadows during the day, follow Imogen around at work, sometimes straying further away to examine some wildflowers in the shade of a canopy, or to keep Flora company in her stall. But often just tagging along and tailing Imogen through her days tasks.

She could recall a time or two when a pail seemed about to spill or a tool would have fallen that a helpful shadow nudged it back in place.

But the real highlights were after work ended.

When she’d pull Laudna from the shadows and the two of them would take Heart back out to their own little secret clearing… that felt like real life. Really living.

Some days she was tired, some days the headache would be catching up to her. But everyday she went to see Laudna come out of shell. Everyday she put that inner buzzing on hold because she got to see Laudna be herself.

She still felt that sense of awe and giddiness when Laudna would dispel the shadows around her. She hadn’t kissed her since the first day, but that same tightening in her chest- that same spike of junebugs tapping in her stomachache- it was all there. She just tried to control it a little better.

But Laud… she was a marvel. Imogen was pretty sure she’d never stop finding her as such. Day by day they’d arrive at their patch of land and Laudna would be the one to step out from the dark a little sooner. Her shoulders would unwind a half-inch at a time. Her movements, Imogen would find as she watched her (because she felt like she always was) were as musical as her thoughts. Almost matching with a flourish of her wrist so easily in sync with one of her mental strums, she wondered if her thoughts were really just a score for her world. It was transfixing.

While they were there Laudna showed her more magic. They’d work on reaching into different parts of themselves and seeing what they could find. They both worked on their mental connections, seeing how far it could go, how long they could maintain it, how it sounded when either of them initiated the conversation. Laudna’s had this echo to it that was new and strange and probably a little creepy, but Laudna was so not scary to her it was hard to think of it as anything other than endearing.

Laudna one day suggested they work on making mental fortitudes, and Imogen had to pause and think about it.

“Is that even possible?”

“I don’t see why not.” Laudna said with her sure smile. “I feel like I overheard nobles talking about it in Whitestone. Though there’s was more so they couldn’t have their thoughts used against them in certain circles. Had to have safes essentially to not give anyone else a leg up over them. Sounds very tiring being a noble, but I’ve been mulling over that concept and I feel like maybe the same could apply to you.”

She considered it… that made sense.

“So there are other people who do what I do?” Was the first thing she ended up asking.

“Well I don’t know if it’s quite to your level darling, but yes I’ve certainly seen other magics that work with people’s thoughts the way you do.” Laudna nodded, and the idea was… liberating. She felt a little less like an outcast every day with Laudna. Maybe because their world that mattered had a population of two, and everyone else was just an outcast to her.

“Worth a try.” Imogen agreed.

Laudna nodded, looking pleased, hands folding in front of her. She could sense her excitement at being able to aide her, and she rolled her eyes affectionately. 

“How… do we start?” Imogen asked, coming back to the moment of focus.

Laudna tapped her fingers in thought before motioning for them to reposition, sitting cross-legged in front of each other.

“Ok, I’m just going to think very loud thoughts and what I want you to do is work on focusing the noise out, alright? Filtering it so it’s not so consuming and ultimately… well making it like a window in your mind. So you’re aware it’s there, but not drenched in it, like a midsummers rain.”

She nodded and tried to make herself comfortable with the feel of the grass blades against her thighs, the dirt on the end of her boots, the warm breeze blowing by... the color of Laudna’s lips and cheeks and how she was smiling ever so patiently…

She closed her eyes, letting that smile imprint behind her eyelids, and her mind was off.

At first Imogen didn’t hear anything but the music, which was swelled and echoy, resonating like a plucked string left to whine. She focused on it, pulling it closer, putting it further, repositioning her own mind around the singular source, and it was incredible… to really have the permission and place to do this. Not to feel so stunted and afraid that someone would notice her… but to be given a match to light her own lantern.

She peered deeper, digging past the shell of the thoughts and heard the string of conscious thought beneath it.

‘These are thoughts! Thoughty-Thought-Thoughts for Imogen to hear!’

Imogen laughed in her subconscious and Laudna seemed to notice, breathing a laugh herself.

‘That river off the way seems like it would be a great place to catch tadpoles. The trees around here grow in such a different way, I’ve never seen trees like this. Probably never been on this continent. Wouldn’t have had a reason to. I wonder what kinds of constellations you see from this sky. Different stories and dots trailed across the curve of the world.’

She was so taken with the symphony of it she nearly forgot she was supposed to be trying to block them out. So she readied and started to let herself pull away. To put up the earmuffs. To see the sound but not be absorbed with it. It took some effort, but… slowly she saw the sound change. She saw the space in her mind like an open field, vulnerable and rolling and currently filled with the bits of Laudna’s mind. And slowly… she laid bricks. Her mind crafted defensives like clay in molds, stacking the pieces she found and letting them build a fort. First ankle high. Than to her thigh. Then almost waist high, and she felt an exertion at it. A deep seated tired at crafting this much inside of her.

‘I wonder how it’s going. I hope this can help her… I hate to think how she’s hurt… if there’s anything I can do lessen that… she’s done so much for me…‘

Imogen’s concentration faltered for a moment, and she reached for Laudna on instinct. Her thoughts were just like that… enticing. Amazing how even after all that time they never took a negative turn. Never soured. Never pierced the way others do. She was just different… in the perfect way.

She looped her arms around her shoulders and sighed into a borderline collapse against her lithe frame. Launda’s mind receded and only that faint music remained, her arms coming back to hold her with a bit of confusion, but still… that same smile.

“Everything alright darling? Any luck?” She asked in a soft voice, brushing her knuckles across her hairline and Imogen chuckled once and leaned into it.

“You know, you’ve done so much for me too.”

Laudna hummed a little breath, something sweet and kind and bashful. Imogen continued on.

“I don’t think I could put a value on it… but…… Laud I was dying here.” She said, feeling Laudna stiffen in her grip. “I wasn’t really living… just waking… just getting up and putting on boots and avoiding everything, everyone…” Her voice wavered. “And literally… a week of you being here… and it’s like turning a page to a completely different story.”

“You give me too much credit.” Laudna said with a sincere sniffle and Imogen shook her head against her shoulder, not pulling away.

“You don’t give yourself enough.” Imogen said with a chuckle. “I was terrified of this stuff. And now you’ve gone and made it exciting. Enthralling even. Practically overnight.”

Imogen looked at her hands where the purple lines were starting to grow. She didn’t mind them so much…

“You just don’t even know the light you are.”

Laudna chuckled out loud now, but nestled closer to her. “The irony is not lost on me as a literal sentinel of the dark.”

“Can’t have one without the other.” Imogen said absentmindedly, and Laudna hummed in a short burst of contemplation. 

“What a lovely thought.”

The following day when they tried again, the crazy thing was that the bricks she’d essentially laid had remained… and she had a chance to enforce. So she did. She took quite a few days working on it. Exploring it, bringing it up, and then experimentally taking it down. It was work unlike any she’d ever done but, she was starting to get the hang of it.

Some days Laudna could sense her weariness and she’d suggest other activities. They had the mind-reading working. She showed her how to clean and enhance things magically with a bit of Prestidigitation. They both crafted spectral hands that could move small items a ways away. Laudna showed her a bit more of her own magic, and told her a few stories, but she could tell it wasn’t always her favorite topic. Keeping it on Imogen was good, but when it strayed to her explaining larger spells she often… seemed unenthused. Which was odd for her Laudna.

But that was her right. As much time as she spent in the other woman’s head she did her very best to hide away from the more private thoughts. She didn’t think they could possibly change how she thought or felt about Laudna, she just knew… well… it was like when she was in her mind there was this void… this area in the true dark of her liminal self that was just banished. And that was where she put the pain. Every time she’d drifted too close that’s what she had felt. Just a glimpse of an overwhelming pain. It wasn’t always in the same place, not landlocked, she was able to move around it which was amazing truly. But it was there. You couldn’t miss it in the vibrancy that was Laudna’s thoughts. 

She had a suspicion she knew most of it, and maybe one day she’d want to share the rest. But that day would be on Laudna’s terms.

Another week passed.

A week of Laudna tailing in her shadow, teaching her magic, and lying beside her in bed at night… That last part always had a certain charge to it. That moment before they get into bed when they both make sustained eye-contact but neither says a word. Simply undressing to a comfortable level (Imogen had leant Laudna a change of clothes for rest) and glancing every few moments at the other with silent smiles until Imogen would inevitably pull the thin sheet back and pat her side of the bed as invitation. Apparently every time, Launda still treated it as a guest that she may have changed her mind and no longer be invited. But of course, she always was.

One night she had the red dream and woke, breath ragged and trying to cough out red sand that was no longer there. Eyes darting as if the storm was still behind her. And then to Launda already holding her hand and talking in a low, sweet timber. Telling her it was alright, she was here, The storm couldn’t get her. Imogen rolled on her side and Laudna enveloped her, still talking in a soothing, sweet-nothings kind of way.

She apologized profusely the next day to the point where Launda came out of the shadows, put hands on both her shoulders and thought very loudly into her mind, ‘Darling, if you apologize one more time for this I will trip you. And it’s incredibly easy from my vantage point.’

Imogen had barked a surprised laugh, and Laudna receded just as quick, putting a hand to tug playfully around Imogen’s ankle. ‘See?’

‘Alright, alright, pulling out threats now are we?’

‘Only ever empty ones with you darling.’ She chuckled back with a warmth that echoed between Imogen’s ears.

She noticed every night after that the imaginary line between them in the bed dissolved further.

Near the end of their second week they went to town together. She imagined at one point that if she lined up her hand and her eye just right it would look like she’d threaded her fingers with those of her shadow. She’d wanted to ask Laudna to come out, to not stay in the dark. But there had been an instant buzz in her mind of panic that Imogen felt and wanted to soothe away but couldn’t. She knew it went deeper than she could undo in such a short time.

“Better to stay off their radar dear. Less you try to explain the new ‘out-of-town’ pasty witch that showed up on your arm.”

So for now, they were foot to foot instead of arm in arm.

The voices came, but Imogen was trying out her new walls with surprising success.

‘Laud… it’s working.’

‘Oh I’m so pleased!’ Laudna’s voice echoed back. ‘I knew you could do it.’

And Imogen smiled so bright she thought it’d split her face in half. As they walked through she felt it lessen, looked inside herself for places to strengthen, and by the time she’d finished with her errands she felt the walls all together receded. So she dove to her other solace, Laudna.

Her mind was that same wonderful musical pattern. Lovely, lilting, giving always and Imogen had a sudden nagging feeling.

Everything they’d been doing had been to help Imogen. And she was grateful. She was beyond grateful. But… what about Laudna?

What were they doing for her in all these endeavors?

She deserved a life too.

She deserved… gods, so much more than she’d been given. But maybe that could change.

Imogen vowed that it would.

They rode out to their usual spot on the start of the third week and Laudna suggested they explore the region a bit more. She kept looking up at the trees and smiling. Smiled at everything around her. It was incredible really, to have someone smile so much.

Imogen found she was also smiling.

They went out further into the trees, Laudna telling tales of other places she’d been while collecting odds and ins and naming the squirrels they passed. She’d lived so much life since she’d died. Imogen found herself wishing she could be there in those stories.

The day had been overcast and it was turning to an overcast night quicker than she thought it would. She had been caught up in the comfort of it until she heard the crack of thunder.

“Oh… shoot.” Imogen said, looking up as a fat drop of rain splashed on her cheek. “We gotta get back. Can you-“ And as she turned to look up the tree to where Launda had been she was already on the ground and her eyes were glowing a bit. The way they did in the dark with her unfair advantage. “I was going to say get down but it looks like that wasn’t an issue.”

Laudna nodded. “Luckily I’m like a cat. I land on my feet 9 out of 10 times. But you, will you be able to see alright?”

Imogen nodded. Not her first time getting lost in the woods, she’d just prefer not to do it in a downpour. Another crack of lightning and the skies opened up almost immediately.

“Well shitter.” Launda muttered, and the two started moving back through the path. Imogen tried to go quick but kept catching her foot on a stray root or getting stuck in an unexpected mud puddle. She was suddenly very cold very fast as the beads of rain pelted from seemingly all sides. She tried to wipe the rain from the hair sticking to her eyes and keep going, mapping the skyline of branch and bramble in the flashes of lightning.

She wasn’t afraid of the storm so much anymore… not with Laudna there… but she was wary of it.

But a loud crack rang out overhead. The storms heart was close.

“Laud you good?” Imogen yelled over her shoulder, chancing a look to try and make out her friends silhouette. Her foot collided with a sharp rock, and she cried out as it impacted her toe and scraped the side of her calf, breaking skin. Maybe breaking bone, shit that hurt. She stumbled and heard Laudna call out after her as she went down, hard, falling forward and having her momentum carry her through brush and tumbling down a hill in a mess of fabric and flailing.

She didn’t go far but when she stopped sliding she couldn’t tell which way was up or down, the dark and her sudden lack of equilibrium left her reeling like a fish out of water. Only there was a lot of water. She groaned and put a hand up to her head, feeling a few scratches where she’d grazed rocks or twigs on the way down. Her foot was screaming.

“Imogen!!” She heard Laudna call out, and another crack of lightning overtook the sound. She grit her teeth, turning up to follow the path of light retreating and looked at the lightning bleeding from her own hands.

“Enough.” She grit and focused on the bright light coming from under her skin and expanding it… expelling it beyond her.

A sea of tiny firefly-like orbs seeped through the seams in her skin, coalescing into three larger spheres dancing around her space and glowing the same color as her hands.

She breathed out, stunned, and for a moment she didn’t hear anything besides the blood pounding in her ears. She laughed once in wonder at the lights she created and looked around at how they illuminated the space. How the rain looked with a shade of lavender, how it drew around the edges of the rocks and brush nearby.

It was amazing.

“Imogen!” She heard the voice again, right beside her as Laudna came sliding in through the mud on her knees, stopping beside Imogen and curling her hands gently around her arm. “Are you alright?”

“Laud… look what I made…” She said, still staring at the lights in wonder, then looking over at her companion to see how they hued her in color. She saw the panic receding from her features. She looked gorgeous in the reflecting purple lights.

“You keep surpassing yourself. These are lovely.” She said in soft praise, looking around at the lights. “I do want to examine them closer at another time. Can you stand?” She asked, looking her over for damage and frowning when she saw her leg that was bleeding in the downpour.

“I think so…” Imogen shifted her weight, feeling a bruise near her ribs and her foot was definitely angry. There was a good chance she broke the bone in her toe. Wasn’t the first time she’d done that on the farm, but it was currently the most inconvenient time to date. “Shit, but my foots-“

She pressed up to standing with a grunt, Laudna supporting her on her way, looking her over with her meticulous eye.

“Your foot?” She asked worriedly.

“It’s fine.” Imogen waved her hand to brush it off. “It’s probably broken, but-“

“Broken!”

“Yeah I kicked the shit out of a rock, but it probably had it coming.” She said, trying for a laugh and seeing Laudna smile a bit, but worry lingering. She brushed her hands through Imogen’s sodden bangs, pushing them back out of her face and examining her scrapes. Imogen inhaled a bit when those gentle fingers grazed her jaw, but hoped the pouring rain hid it.

“I’m sure it certainly did. Let’s try and get you out of-“

Her voice was cut off by a harsh blast of thunder and a sudden creaking. Something nearby had been hit… and a massive tree overhead started shifting, craning toward them with a sound like imminent doom.

She froze for a moment, stunned to see something so ancient moving toward them and felt a rush of panic.

“Oh hell-“

She had time to think about how she couldn’t run, about how even if she could it probably wouldn’t be enough, and about how Laudna needed to go.

‘Laud!’ She screamed in her head. Thinking she’d beg her to go, to escape through the shadows, and pick out whatever remained of her after. Instead the tree never got an inch closer.

The air beside her shifted to a deep chill, even in the cold of the storm it was colder, and then the large branch that was heading toward her was batted out of the sky by a blast of dark energy, swirling and curling and shattering it into chunks far off toward the side that sprayed out into mulch. The tree’s creaks turned to a smatter that echoed amongst the rain.

Imogen blinked up at where it had been just a moment ago, stunned that it wasn’t still there. Not still hurtling toward them. She turned to look at Laudna whose arm had been wrapped around her shoulder protectively and her purple lights were suddenly extinguished as her head turned.

Laudna’s eyes were glowing brighter than ever… she was taller than ever, and receding slowly from a very different silhouette. Her hand retracted, from where it was outstretched and whether it was the dark playing a trick on her or not… it looked like her body was cracking back into place.

“Laud…” She asked, her voice coming out quiet compared to the pounding of her heartbeat. But Laudna wouldn’t look at her. She just kept staring up at where the tree had been.

Her mental walls were already battered from the day and she lowered it to let in the sound emanating from her nearby, but it wasn’t words… it wasn’t even music… it was just a humming like static. Imogen winced an eye, then shifted her feet to turn her body more toward Laudna, putting an arm up to feel for her cheek in the dark. When she did touch her skin it was like the spell broke. The air returned to it’s normal temperature and Laudna too, pulled back to the moment, shaking her head so hard she thought it’d snap off before turning back to her. But that static in her mind… merely dimmed without leaving completely.

“Let’s get the hell out of here.” Laudna said firmly, shifting Imogen’s weight on her arm and beginning to move them away.

**************************

Fuck.

That was the last word Laudna found herself thinking, but now she just wasn’t thinking. She was moving. Moving she could do, moving she was good at. Moving gingerly so that Imogen’s busted foot wouldn’t garner any extra pain. It was slow going, but it was going. It was moving. As they got closer to their original spot Laudna caught sight of a small dilapidated structure nearly hidden. A small old barn or home. The roof looked partially collapsed on one side, it was overtaken by foliage, and had certainly seen better days, but right now it looked dry.

Dry was good, and hopefully she could get Imogen propped up and off that bad foot. She started shifting them toward the building and Imogen must’ve seen it and agreed, because she fell in step to their new destination quickly.

Once they got there she saw the door was hanging on by a hinge that caved in when she pressed against it, Imogen chuckled then coughed from the dust in the place invading toward her.

“Hang on, I’ve got this. Don’t breathe too much.” She said and Imogen chuckled again, this time into her drenched sleeve.Imogen had taken to leaning on her more and more as they were walking. She hadn’t complained once, but physically that took a tole on her and she wanted to get her comfortable, or as close to that as she could.

But this, this was familiar. She knew how to make theses places hospitable. And if she just kept moving-

There was a long unused hearth in the small space, far enough away from the debris in the roof that was barely keeping the water out, and Laudna moved them closer to a stool that was still standing to settle her on.

Imogen shivered when she sat her down and Laudna cursed her cold as death skin for not being able to offer any form of warmth to alleviate her. But she could get a fire going.

“Just wait for a moment and I’ll get you dried off.” Laudna said quickly, turning back to the hearth and pulling branches and broken boards from around the space to toss in as kindling. Some of them were wet but she quickly used prestidigitation to dry them off. The purplish orbs Imogen had summoned before came back, floating around the space. Laudna looked over her shoulder and Imogen nodded toward her.

“Incase you needed some light.” Her voice was meek, sweet, calm despite everything. She hated how it felt like it was coming to an end. Like her true thoughts would have to come out any moment she wasn’t soaked to the bone and unable to get away on her own.

Laudna nodded her thanks, then set to making a fire. She was good at this. This she could do. She just had to keep moving. If she was moving she couldn’t think about the black ichor that crept around here conscious, swallowed her body and mangled it into something new. Something stronger… something horrifying… something Imogen had seen-

She shook her head and kept moving.

Finding some abandoned nesting material to throw in with the sticks, finding two rocks of the right type, and through precision rather thank strength she got a few flicks and a spark caught. Imogen smiled and the small red embers little perfect curve of her face that Laudna adored. She could let herself have the small victory. She could. So she did.

She moved quick to nurse it to a full blaze, and when it felt sustained she gathered more wood from inside that was unsalvageable, found some logs around the outside that she could dry with magic, and got Imogen close enough to gather the benefits of its warmth.

Imogen watched her subtly. She could feel her eye on her even when she was facing away and whenever she turned to her she’d just offer her that same small smile that stole her heart. It drove her crazy that she could still look at her like that. She knew she’d seen her… transform. And she knew that she knew. They couldn’t keep pretending like they didn’t. The charade would end. But right now, she supposed it couldn’t.

‘Laud.’ She heard in her head and froze, turning to look back over her shoulder. ‘You okay?’

Even in her mind her voice sounded so considerate. So caring. It made Laudna’s body want to relax, even a little, but her mind just couldn’t. Imogen must’ve noticed that Laudna was anxious, she hadn’t stopped moving since lighting the fire. Gathering wood, or securing a loose floorboard by the door, or dusting and mending different nooks of the room. She probably looked like a caffeinated spider.

She simply nodded in response. Imogen looked wholly unconvinced.

‘Wanna come sit by the fire?’ She patted the side of her stool and shifted a bit, which was charming given that it was barely big enough to fit her alone.

“No no that’s alright, fire doesn’t do much for me.” She shrugged, and then as Imogen opened her mouth to counter her or say something else too sweet, Laudna added, “I’m going to go find Heart.”

Imogen paused, cocking a concerned eyebrow.

“You’re going to go out in this storm by yourself?”

“I won’t be long, I know where we left her generally and can at least bring her back to you. I’ll just-“ she made a motion with her hands to infer jumping through the shadows. “And walk her back.”

Imogen stared at her a little longer.

“I mean logistically it makes sense, I just…” she smiled a little sadly and switched to their mental connection. ‘I guess selfishly, I don’t want you to go without me.’

Laudna’s tension broke, feeling the insecurity of being left behind, and she turned her body back toward her, took a few steps and knelt at her side. “I won’t be far or gone long. I’d never leave you behind like that.”

Imogen looked deep into her eyes at that and Laudna realized she’d said something very important in that moment. Something Imogen was cataloging and storing and that mattered to her very much. So she added, “I swear it… not even Delilah could make me abandon you in this shit-hole.”

Imogen breathed a laugh without taking her eyes off of Laudna’s.

“There are worse shit-holes.” Imogen said back, voice tender as a bruise. It softened some of the worry in Laudna’s chest and she smiled.

“That’s true, most of them don’t have you in it. Sort of classes up the place.”

Imogen chuckled again, shaking her head once before looking back at her.

“You’re really sure?”

Laudna nodded.

“Keep the connection with me like we’ve been practicing. I’ll go get her and be back in a jiff. Try not to burn the place down.” She nodded her head toward the hearth. Imogen rolled her eyes.

‘I won’t I won’t. I’ve made fires too ya know?’ she said in her head.

‘Oh, excuse me.’ Laudna said in mock offense, putting a hand to her chest dramatically, and Imogen smiled and it felt normal. So she let herself pretend, and gave a wavery smile before sliding through the shadows and crawling back out by where they’d left Heart.

The horse was none too happy when she found her, hunching under a tree and braying softly.

“There there ole’ girl.”

‘How’s she doing?’ She heard Imogen’s voice in her head and smiled. 

‘She’s a little pissed but otherwise like we left her.’

‘She’s always a little pissed.’

Which made Laudna chuckle, despite the pouring rain and braying horse. She walked her by the reigns, trying to stay in covering as best she could. Imogen’s thoughts carried with her for a few more minutes, random little check-ins until the connection went dark. She wondered if that was good or bad. 

When they got close to the shack Heart seemed relieved. There was an overhang built on the side that was mercifully still hanging, and pointed in the direction away from the rain. Heart settled in as soon as they were there and Laudna took a moment to prop up some fronds to keep the old girl as dry as possible.

When she reentered the space she wasn’t sure how long she’d been gone but she saw Imogen’s eyes find her and relief wash over her face.

And maybe it was the time to herself, or coming from the rain to the warm space with those lavender eyes… but Laudna felt like she had to address it. Had to blow past it if there was any chance to recover this… tenderness. She craved it so… but if it was irreparable she needed to know. So she cleared her throat.

“So… you saw.” She’d been bound to sooner or later.

Imogen’s face took a moment to follow but then she saw her eyes take on a more serious tone, but her voice stayed kind. Unjudgemental and curious.

“I did. I don’t quite understand what I saw. Can you explain it to me?”

Laudna nodded a lot, letting it act as an answer until she could actually organize her thoughts.

“You saw my other other form.” She sighed. “There’s the version standing before you… there’s the version that hides in the shadows… and then there’s that other side. It comes out when there’s danger…”

And danger always seemed to find her.

“And…” Imogen paused, and Laudna could practically hear the gears turning in her head. “This other side of yourself… you don’t like it all that much?”

Laudna shrugged, noncommittally. Looking anywhere but Imogen’s eyes.

“It sounds a little hypocritical to say so but… it’s the side of me that is the most… foreign.” She winced. It wasn’t the right word. “I can’t complain about it too much, it has come in handy. Saved me a dozen or so times… I just… I guess it’s good. For you to see and to know…”

‘To know?’ Imogen thought into her head.

“My true condition and the extent of what’s been done.”

Imogen’s brow raised in question, that Laudna saw and held out both hands to her side like a tragic sideshow attraction.

“They made me a monster.” She smiled in a surrender of sadness.

Imogen’s face was unreadable, but she couldn’t take the intensity of it so she turned away.

This was for the best… she wouldn’t have to pretend anymore. Imogen had never been afraid, which was a gift and a marvel all itself, but now with the veil lifted she could be disgusted, repulsed, unsettled. She could know that last side that clung to her without ever truly leaving and know the truth.

Imogen was suddenly before her. Laudna hadn’t even noticed her getting up and hobbling over until she was reaching forward for her hands. Laudna received her immediately, holding her up with a furrow of her brow.

“They did a lot of terrible things that I wish I could erase for you…” Imogen said, her voice was so pained and heartfelt it made Laudna’s chest tighten like a vise. “The way you’ve done for me… but Laudna…”

Her grip tightened on her hands.

“You’re no monster… you’re just a person. Same as me.”

Laudna had a foggy memory of a younger version of herself… still spunky and trusting of the world… telling something very similar to a young Imogen the first time they met and she thought her heart might split in two and swallow the world at hearing them back at herself. Her breath came out stuttered.

“What’s been done to you… is monstrous. But absorbing it… surviving it… doesn’t make you a monster. Just them.“

Imogen’s eyes were sparkling with unshed tears and her voice shook at the gravity of it. Laudna was reeling.

Her lightning scarred hands dragged a small line around her wrist and Laudna’s eye was drawn to where their skin met.

“Besides, monsters don’t have friendship bracelets.”

And Laudna chuckled a wet and oversaturated thing looking down at the red thread she’d mended countless times over the years. She hadn’t wanted to lose it. Lose that sign of someone so wonderful bothering a glance at her.

“No no, they usually don’t have you.”

“Sort of classes up the place, I hear.” Imogen said moving closer and taking Launda into a hug that she wanted to get lost in… so she did.

She held tight to the embrace, pushing away the scared part of her that wanted to tell all her the reasons this was wrong.

“Definitely does.” Laudna agreed.

They stood like that with only the sound of the pounding rain as their backdrop. Probably too long and somehow not long enough.

“It really didn’t… bother you?” Laudna asked softly. Afraid to break the silence and its fragilness, but needing the confirmation all the same. Needing to be sure.

“Why would it bother me? You saved me… again.” Imogen answered swiftly. No hindrance to her words. “Guess all your forms have that in common…"

That was something Laudna wanted to unpack but also didn’t wish to push tonight. Tonight she was drained.

“It’s still you when you’re like that, right?” Imogen asked gently. Prying but clearly trying not to cross a line. Laudna always had appreciated her pace and tact.

“Yes, still me.”

“I’d like to see it again sometime… if ya know, if it doesn’t hurt you or anything.”

This, this was beyond unprecedented. This was crazy, to think someone would want to see this ‘form of dread’ that she had started referring to.

“You would?” Laudna asked, hearing the waver in her tone and Imogen merely nodded before pulling back a bit more to look at her. She looked tired, so so tired, and Laudna still wanted to clean the cuts on her cheeks and chin now that they’d recovered their supplies. But she had to ask…

“Why?”

Imogen just smiled at her. Her eyes creased a little gentler.

“Laud… do you know why I kissed you?”

Her mind full-stopped at the question. She wondered if Imogen could sense it beyond whatever remained up of her mental walls.

“No…” Truthfully the notion had been haunting her, but how she’d even begin to bring it up kept alluding her.

“Can I tell you?” Imogen asked and Laudna nodded swiftly, eyes coming up with warring emotions.

“I kissed you…” She started, and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. Launda tried unsuccesfully to not stare at the action. “Because I had to. In that moment I was so… happy. And it was like the person in my head that had always been my biggest supporter… my light in the dark… was right there in front of me. And I was overwhelmed in the best way… so I kissed you. Because I didn’t know what else to do with that energy. It had to go somewhere. I just… I love finding these new sides of you. So don’t feel… like you have to hide them from me, ok? I’m not going anywhere. No matter how many sides you have I’ll still want to know more.”

Laudna let her words wash over like a balm. Let her heart that barely kicked string them up like fairy lights, hung between her ribs. She pushed away those voices that said what a ruse this would make and held onto it like it was fact, carved in stone. Because Imogen said it was… and she was something Launda had come to know time and time again she could believe in.

Why change that now?

Imogen just smiled ever so patiently at her, letting her soak in the affirmations, and eventually she nodded and Imogen’s arms came to wrap around her neck, holding onto her firmly.

“And…” Laudna started, words catching in her throat like baby tadpoles. Too squirmy and excited to follow the river. “Do you think… you’d ever want to do it again?”

Imogen smiled so warm Laudna was pretty sure she’d simply melt.

“Yeah… yeah I have an inkling I just might.” She leaned in and kissed her cheek, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. A promise of sorts for another time.

One she was looking forward to.

When they’d finally settled by the fire they propped up on the little crappy stool, pressed as close as they could to each other. Laudna had insisted on applying what little salve they had to the nicks on Imogen’s hands and cheeks, and wrapped her bloody gash in their sodden bandages. Imogen piped up with a gentle thought.

“You know you’re pretty good at fixing this place up. Maybe we should make it a little side project.”

Laudna blinked looking up at the roof. She had to admit, the place had a quaintness. Great bones, which is what she liked to think people said about her.

“I know it’s a bit of a shit-hole.” Imogen added and Laudna chuckled.

“But it could be my shit-hole.”

“It could.”

Laudna paused, letting the idea sink in.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had a place of my own…” Her voice shook a little unexpectedly and she turned to Imogen, her eyes suddenly a little wet. Like the rain had slipped in just below her eyelids.

“I know it has sweetheart.” Imogen gripped her hand in her own, a reassuring pressure, and her smile lit up like those dancing lights. “So let’s give you that.”

Chapter Text

When the sun rose Laudna looked around the space with both hands on her hips. She’d barely slept, instead she’d rinsed a cloth and cleaned the windows. Mended some of the broken glass and left some of the rest in its charming spiderweb patterns.

She opened the door to brush out the leaves and rubble into the dewy morning, smiling at the now familiar creeky pattern of the boards by the door. This place had potential. And now that Imogen had made this idea for her that it could be hers…

Now she really wanted it. Now it felt like the future had a foundation… a shape and a name.

She turned her head to look back to where Imogen was sleeping in the corner, tucked away between the wall and cupboard with her leg propped on a rolled up stack of burlap.

The words she’d almost said kept playing back through her mind.

‘Maybe one day it’ll be your space too…’

Laudna smiled, imaging offering it as such. Picturing a fixed up space with a door that actually opened and closed, a space they could fill with their own wants and dreams and not one that would be forced on them.

Here, tucked away in a corner of Imogen’s hometown… maybe they could make a new life for themselves.

‘Maybe one day it’ll be ours.’

**************************

Laudna had fret over Imogen getting into the saddle, getting down, walking at all. Standing, sitting, laying. She was a fretter. And it was very cute to have someone worry so much. Checking in mentally, scanning her every few moments. It entertained her half as much as it charmed her.

“Laud for the 100th time, I’m okayyyy.” She stretched the last word to try and make her point but couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed. Laud perked and wrung her hands.

“I’m sure you are and I’m sure you’ve had worse, but still. I have to let you know you can ask for help.”

“Consider it known.” She laughed with a shake of the head.

They’d made it back to her dad’s house and successfully snuck in, getting fresh bandages and Laudna insisting on cleaning out her wounds. She let her. She hadn’t fought her much on it. Whenever she tried to brush it off Laudna got that look in her eye that she was coming to know meant she wasn’t going to drop it

So her wound was rinsed, her toe examined, and her cheeks were only faintly pink during it all.

“It looks good all things considered.” Laudna said from her spot kneeling before her. Imogen was bracing herself against the hall wall. “Well it looks swollen and puffy, but under that I don’t think the bone shifted too much one way or the other. We’ll just want to stint it after you get cleaned up.”

“Thanks Laud. Really. But mind if I get in the tub now?” She was appreciative but also dreaming of getting yesterday’s sweat and rain off of her.

“Your health can’t be rushed dear.” Laudna said with a joking stern tone. But then tapped her calf and started to rise. “But yes, thank you for humoring me.”

“But of course.”  Imogen chuckled. “When I’m done, do you want to take a soak?”

She looked at the mud clinging to the flashes of skin she could see, on her wrists and shins and a bit in her hair.

Laudna’s face went a little blank.

“Oh… you know it’s been awhile since I’ve… done that. Warm water doesn’t always agree with… well with me.” She chuckled but it was off. Like an untuned guitar.

“Yeah I’m coming to find there’s a lot of things you haven’t done in awhile…” Imogen said sadly, thinking of the many ways the world had treated her in their time apart. “But I kind of want to change a lot of those things… if you don’t mind.” She smiled with a bit of hope at that and saw the stiffness slowly leave her form, saw a small smile curl and hook at her mouths edge.

“You kind of already have.” Laudna said softly, brushing back a piece of her hair and looking off to the side.

“Well consider bathing next on the list.” Imogen said, feeling her chest expand and her heart do that thing again.

It seemed to do that thing around her a lot lately.

The soak, as expected, was heavenly. And Imogen had rarely thought of a time she’d been more appreciative of it. She could’ve sat there all day, attuned to Laudna’s musical thoughts outside the door where she sat and hummed, but she didn’t want her sorcerous friend to have to wait.

So instead she washed as quickly as she could, then refilled the tub with some fresh, non-murky water. When she was satisfied with the heat, (not too hot) she sent a message out to her friend.

‘Laud? I’m gonna come out now. You ready?’

‘As I’ll ever be.’

‘Need a change of clothes?’

‘Oh I should be fine, think I can cast a little prestidigitation on mine and they’ll be good as new.’

‘Does that work?’

‘Has for the last 14 years.’

Imogen huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes fondly, tightening the towel around her and realizing a little too late she hadn’t bothered to bring a change of clothes into the room with her… hmm, oh well.

When she turned the knob there was a brief moment where her eyes met Laudna’s and she saw them widen before averting slightly. She smiled shyly to herself at the reaction.

She wanted to say something witty or cute or maybe… borderline flirty, but instead she went with, “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears.”

Instantly cursing herself for it, until she heard Laudna’s chuckle in her head. Then those gorgeous, rich eyes were back on hers.

“Your wish is my command.” She countered with in a gratuitous voice. Going the extra mile with a faux curtsey.

Imogen got back to her room and pulled out some dry clothes. A pair of tan shorts and a flowy, sheer dress she’d wear over it. Dressing with a gimp foot slowed her down a bit, but not much. She was a pro at this kind of thing, and tied her own stint to the afflicted toe after she was all set and done. She breathed a content breath and smiled to herself, just… just cause. Cause things felt good… she let her mind drift once more to catch the tail thoughts of Laudna in the other room and felt that same song and dance.

But then she heard another sound… another mind coming close in time with the front door open.

The hinges squeaked and the frame shifted with a thud as it closed and she heard the tell-tale sigh of her father.

A cautionary, “Imogen?” Followed.

“Yeah Pa?” She called back, shuffling slowly into the hall, thinking for a moment of panic he may head to the bathroom.

He hadn’t by the time she’d gotten out of her room. He was still hanging his coat and hat unhurried onto the hangers, and nodded a greeting upon seeing her. His eye staying on hers.

“You didn’t come home last night.” He said after a prolonged pause of neither of them talking. She was kind of surprised he noticed.

“Nah, got caught in the rain. Stubbed my toe real fucking bad.” She said nodding down to her stint and his eye followed with a gruff hum when he saw the purpled appendage.

“Yeah you did, look at that sucker.”

She gruffed back in response. “And then found a spot could board myself up with Heart before riding back in it. She’s probably still a little pissed.”

“Probably is.” He nodded. “She never forgets a slight that one. Be sure to give her extra hay.”

“Might get me back in her good graces.”

This was maybe the longest conversation they’d had in 2 or 3 months, Imogen was realizing. Neither one was really holding eye-contact, but still. Was a step. She remembered why her panic had settled in and her eye drifted down the hall quickly to the bathroom between them before she sent a quick thought to Laudna.

‘Laudna, sorry to interrupt your bath but my Father’s here. You might wanna hide.’

She heard a return exclamation of, ‘Shit! Okay, give me just a second. I’ll need to find a shadow without getting water all over the floor.’

Imogen turned her head back to her father, realizing he’d been saying something she totally missed. He was looking at her expectantly.

“Sorry, what?”

“I said… who’s the lucky fella?”

Imogen’s brain went to a full stop, trying to figure out what… what to say to that. What did he mean?

“What fella?” She ineloquently responded.

But now he must’ve seen what he wanted to cause he chuckled, actually chuckled at her demeanor.

“You’re out longer and later these last few weeks. You’re quiet but… in a different way. You’re glowing half the time so bright no one at the stables can see ya. I just assumed… maybe someone special finally fell into your life.” He said, a little snarky but… a little caring too. Like a dad. Like her dad. And she had a moment where she genuinely wasn’t sure what to say to that…

Because wouldn’t it be nice? Just to tell him? Just to see this unshaven Relvin that had picked her up when she was a kid and sat her on his shoulders, be there for something in her life?

She heard Laudna’s mind briefly, still in the hall bathroom, panicking about using the towel to dry a splash on the tile and then chiding herself for remembering she had magic. It was such a silly, innocent thought, and it made her smile, uncontrolled. Unbidden it just rose right to her cheeks, and when her eyes went back to her dad he was just looking, knowingly back at her.

“You don’t have to tell me… I just-“

“There is someone…” She said softly. So softly it surprised even herself. His mouth had only half-formed on his response before morphing back into a tired smile. He always looked a little tired, but she supposed she did too. At least before.

“Well shit, look at you. Your old man still knows what’s up. You like em?”

She thought of the moment she’d kissed Laudna in that field. Of the way their lips had… fit together… of the way her tongue had suddenly felt incredibly dry, the way her knees had shook, the way her body felt like it had collectively gasped without sound.

“Yeah… she’s really great.” She said back, holding his eye for any reaction to the admission. For his part, there was only a fond crinkle looking back at her. An ease trying to work it’s way back between them after so much dormancy. 

“For you to like her, I bet she is.”

And Imogen smiled again, different now. Like a dagger had forced it’s way between her ribs and bled the happiness right into her.

“Listen you don’t have to tell me all the mushy details if you’re not taking this lil relationship public yet, but do i know her? A father can worry, after all.” He shrugged a bit but kept that tired smile, rubbing a hand along the bottom of his stubble.

Imogen shook her head. “No she’s from out of town.”

And like that-

His demeanor changed. Like a flipped switch. He squinted a bit, before catching himself and simply sighing.

“Well… just be careful with those out of town types… they don’t always have the best intentions.”

Her confusion must’ve shown, and she felt that rift grow between them again. They may as well have been in black and white versus technicolor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She heard herself ask, not really wanting the confrontation but feeling the need to be speak up.

He held his hands up in a non-committal gesture before shrugging.

“Listen I don’t expect you to heed my words, but just gotta say em anyway. You’re an adult and you make your decisions but outta town types… they’re not like us.”

“That’s kind of what I like about her.” Imogen said defensively, crossing her arms. He waved his hand to brush it off, frowning at the floor.

“What I mean is they end up here because they’re running from something. And it’s hard to stop running once you start.”

That thought felt bad. Imogen bit her lip and tilted her head to look at the floor as well. Laudna had been running a long time… she hadn’t really thought about the reality that she might have to keep going. Might not want to plant roots…

“And…” he added. “What’s worse is if the thing they’re running from catches up to them… and it catches you up in it too…”

Now he was looking at her, eyes a bit fiery and protective.

They held the silence for a moment before Imogen cleared her throat and quietly said, “You don’t even know her.”

Relvin sighed and rubbed his stubbled chin again. “I know, and maybe I’m wrong. But maybe I’m right. Like I said… you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do regardless.” He took a few steps down the hall and reached for the bathroom door’s handle. Imogen’s eyebrows bout shot off her head as she suddenly remembered who was potentially still hiding on the other side. “Just consider my points all I can ask. Easy to loose track of logic with them shiny feelings floating around.”

He said the last part with a bit of pain behind it and she felt a moment of sympathy for her father before he was opening the door and she tensed all over.

He paused in the doorway and looked back at her after a moment with a raised eyebrow.

“You didn’t drain the tub when you were done with it?” He asked, tone a bit lighter.

Imogen internally breathed a sigh of relief.

“Was just about to. After I wrapped-“ and she nodded toward her big toe. He shrugged in response.

“Leave it. I’ll just be refilling it.” And he stepped in, closing the door behind him.

Imogen breathed out and sent a thought quickly.

‘Laud? Where did you…?’

‘Outside with Heart! I slipped out from the shadow under the tub!’

And Imogen started carrying herself outside after her before the message had even ended.

When she came into the barn Laudna had just been pulling herself up out of the shadows, hair still dripping wet and some sudsy bubbles piling on her shoulders, towel wrapped tightly around her midsection. She stood to her full height and turned to face Imogen, a laugh already forming from the hilarity of it all, when Imogen caught it-

A sweep of the towel just right where it split down her middle, and… a scar… horribly jagged and poorly healed along the middle of her stomach, then gone behind a piece of fabric again.

She knew what it belonged to.

Laudna caught the change in her eye and turned her head to look at her, a bit like a bird.

“Everything alright de-“

She didn’t finish the sentence, Imogen just threw herself into a hug, wrapping her into an embrace. She felt her wet skin poking against her dry clothes in patches. Strands of her long black hair clung over Imogen’s shoulders. It was suddenly… overwhelming. Replaying the conversation with her dad seconds before and retracing the length of the scar on the back of her eye-lids. What’s worse is if the thing they’re running from catches up to them.

It had caught her once, it wouldn’t catch her again, right?

Laudna shifted a hand to come up against the back of her head, the other still holding the towel. She hummed once and leaned her cheek closer into a nuzzle against Imogen. Not pressing for details for reaction, just letting her have the comfort found here between them. And Imogen was eternally grateful. She didn’t let got for quite awhile.

It took Imogen three days to gather the confidence to address it. Three nights of dreams of tree roots wrapping around Laudna’s legs and dragging her under the dirt to where Imogen couldn’t follow. She had no right to expect forever out of Laudna, and they both knew she couldn’t promise it. But… was there a long term? A short term? She’d said Delilah was gone but… was she?

She cleared her throat, mostly trying to clear her mind, but to no avail. Her dad had gotten in her head.

“Hey Laudna…?” She said gently, drawing her attention from where she was up in the rafters of this abandoned hovel. They’d been coming here everyday after Imogen’s work, and at present Laudna was standing a top a beam, reinforcing it with twine and rope and a hammer that looked thicker than her arms. Her eyes trailed over to her, teeth full of nails that she spat out, sending them clunking down to earth.

“Yes?” She asked, and Imogen chuckled at the nails still bouncing away and trying to roll between the crevices of the floorboards. She caught them telekinetically before they could disappear and lifted them back up to the counter she was sitting on, collecting them in a chipped mug.

She cleared her throat again.

“I was wondering… well have been for a little now... something…” Her words felt like they were stuck in the mud.

“I can tell.” Laudna added, not unkindly. Not bothered. “You’ve looked like you were solving a very intense problem for sometime but couldn’t parse out the answer.” She smiled with a hint of worry chasing after it. “And you haven’t asked me for help which… made me wonder if I may be the issue.”

“No! No, not at all Laudna, truthfully. I just…” she sighed in an exasperated huff at herself for drawing it out. “I haven’t wanted to overstep… and ask for details on something you might not want to dredge up.”

“Hmm…” Laudna’s expression didn’t sour in the slightest but her thoughts did heighten. Like a change in chord. “I would never refute you answers Imogen… you deserve to know who you’re dealing with. For all the time and kindness you’ve spent on me, honesty is the least I can give you in return.”

Imogen swallowed but nodded, closing the book she’d been scribbling in and setting it on the counter behind her.

“Are…” and she paused, exhaling slowly out her nose. “Are you sure she’s gone?”

Laudna shifted to sitting on the post and dangling her legs off the end to face Imogen from up above. Looking moderately serene given the nature of the moment. Her thoughts strummed a darker tune for a moment before it worked into the background of her melody.

“As sure as I can be.” Laudna finally said. “But no, I’m not entirely positive.”

Imogen nodded but it wasn’t a full answer so she waited… for the song to change again, and after another long pause it swelled again before clashing like a gong. And then strings expanding out of it into a wider pitch she’d kept down.

“I worry, you know? It’s hard to think she’s truly departed… to think that she won’t find another way to latch herself to this world…” And now Laudna was staring past her, heading back to another time and place in her mind. “Truthfully… I’ve lived so much of my life in a grim reality… I think I may have let myself get lost in the hope of it all.”

Imogen’s brow furrowed and she felt her pain radiating off of her. Your hope should line up with reality for once.

“Now I will say… everything I’d heard from Whitestone in every nook of the world was that she was killed in a great revolutionary coupe by some adventuring party, and I’m inclined to believe it. Partly because I really really want to. And partly because if she was still here… I feel like she’d have come for me by now.” Laudna said, gripping her fingers into the aged wood. “She wouldn’t have let me go free.”

“If she ever comes back again…” Imogen said, tone trying to stay light, but bordering on warning incase the bitch was actively listening. “I want you to know… I will fight her. I will fight for you this time.”

Laudna looked at her, not in a pitying way or a disapproving, but in a cautionary appreciation.

“I mean it.” Imogen insisted. “I… I saw your scar…” her voice broke and she hated her weakness for that. “And I won’t let her take you like that again.”

Her words pressed together in a panic and she felt her composure break and she wished so hard she was closer. Then just like that the shadows flickered and she was, shifted down from above to right before her, arms out to hold her in an almost swallowing embrace that Imogen clung to. Clung to like it was that twelve year old she could somehow rewrite history for.

“I don’t want you to go again…” she said in a whisper.

“I don’t want me to go again either.” Laudna responded, adjusting her hold. “And if I do…I will claw my way back. As many time as I have to.”

“If you do I’m clawing my way into the shadows after you.” Imogen said. I’m not staying behind again…

That night her mind drifted to dreams of her splitting a massive decayed tree down the middle, and watching Laudna climb free of it… radiating light. 

Delilah be damned. The bitch couldn’t have her.

*************************

Laudna was starting her second month in Gelvaan and it was beginning to feel like… a home. Like maybe she’d found a sliver of the world she could settle in as more than just a visitor. The shed was certainly a part of that, and was becoming something between passion-project and obsession as every day she saw a little more of it come to life.

This was what it was like to make. To create. To mend. And to find your diamonds in the rough and polish them bright enough for everyone else to see. She’d forgotten how much she loved this kind of thing… using her creativity and problem-solving outside of survival.

It made her soul feel less… fractured.

On one afternoon she was floating in Imogen’s shadow through the stables, lost in thought on how she wanted to tackle the shingles at the top of the roof where the worst of the damage had been, when Imogen made their little mental bond.

‘Hey Laud, if you want to go, you know you can right? I’ve got a few more hours here but go get a head start at the shed.’

Laudna genuinely hadn’t considered doing that. She didn’t mind being the witness to Imogen’s day. The sidecar to her journey.

‘Are you sure dear?’ She found herself asking.

‘Yeah course. I love having you near but I don’t need to hog you every day. Especially when those shingles need you.’

And now she had permission to be on her own. She was torn because she loved her time with Imogen and feeling needed and the comfort of being close. But she couldn’t deny that she felt like she lit up in that musty little shit-hole that was becoming less and less one every day.

‘Alright, and you’ll still come by after work?’

‘Course. Me and Heart will find you at the usual time and place.’

‘Good, good. Well then… I’ll see you soon.’

Her excitement must’ve caught on the last few words, and she drifted through the shadows with the echo of Imogen’s chuckle in her ears. Then she was a few miles away in her little strung together paradise and got to work.

Her original plan for the shingles did not, in fact pan out, but being there as early as she was in the day she was able to come up with another solution and that seemed to be much more successful. She brushed some sweat from her brow and smiled at it, seeing the fruits of her labor, before hearing that familiar mental voice call to tell her they’d finished for the day and were on their way to her. She smiled that much deeper.

As she eased herself down from the roof she took a few extra minutes picking some wildflowers and making a small arrangement in a vase on the central counter.

When Imogen did ultimately arrive it was with some linseed oil and a mop in hand and she gave a fond wave. It was funny, having her arrive after her. Greeting her midday. They hadn’t done this yet. She came inside as Laudna explained her process with the shingles, smiling with rapt attention. She commented how lovely the flowers were and Laudna felt a surge of pride. And then she rolled up her sleeves and nodded toward the mop Laudna was now holding and said, “Shall we get to work?”

The two of them applied the oil as a stain and seal across the floors they’d been painstakingly remodeling over the few weeks. It took hours and a decent bit of manual labor, but when they were done… oh the floors practically reflected the stars with the light coming in through the window. Laudna beamed, it was such a lovely sight… to see what she could make. What they could make.

She’d done this sort of renovation before over the years, tying to make a hideout less unbearable, but it never felt… substantial the way this did. This was artistry. This was actual

“Thank you for your help in all this.” Laudna said as she was wiping the damp oil off her hands and opening the window in the kitchen to let some of the smell waft out. “I do hope that, well… I know this has taken more time than I thought it would. I don’t mean to steal focus from your trainings.”

She felt a conflict of emotions. Here she was, supposed to be helping Imogen, but they’d spent all day and a lot of the last few days on her project instead.

When she turned back she caught a look at Imogen staring at her, silver slivers tracing the outline of her brows, her cheeks, her hips, her lips, all of her. It made Laudna stun into silence whatever she had been planning to say next. She was truly breathtaking… and Laudna didn’t even breathe.

“Laud you’ve done nothing but help me since… well since as long as I’ve known you.” She said with a wistful smile, leaning her hands back on the counter behind her. “And now for the first time we can work together doing something for you. It’s never a steal or a bother okay? I want us to be… partners.” She blushes a little at the word, Laudna can barely make it out in the faintness of the moon, but it’s there before she goes on. “Equals. And your wants and needs and projects are mine as well.”

The words felt… new. A bit overwhelming because Laudna… didn’t feel like an equal. Not through any fault of Imogen, she just- she was so broken by comparison. If Imogen was a painting, lovingly crafted under bristle and balm, then Laudna was a mosaic. Hard, sharp angles of glass battered and held together by glue.

‘I heard that.’

Imogen’s voice drifted in, part playful, part firm. And for Laudna’s part she held her hands to her shoulders, palms facing up, and shrugged. Imogen didn’t seem satisfied, her voice dropped as she spoke again.

“Laudna… You’re allowed to want things. You know that, right?”

Laudna’s mind buzzed. The words vibrated against some inner child part of Laudna that had made its peace in a coffin covered in vines. Arms still crossed over her chest.

“Well of course… we can all want things but… it is dangerous you know?” Laudna said softly, trying to dismiss the past that hung around her words. “To put your hopes in a place reality can never meet them.” The torches and gallows and dungeon walls. The faces of her parents dragging her to the mausoleum and leaving her behind.

“But what if they can now?” Imogen said, closer than Laudna realized, and soft… so soft. Like the wings of a moth caressing your knuckles. “What if I told you you could want anything and we could make it happen?”

Laudna swallowed. The coffin lid shifted.

“What do you want Laudna?” Imogen said, eyes glowing like two moons right before her.

“I… want…” Her mind bristled with possibility and her voice dropped to a whisper, like it was a grand secret. Like if the winds caught it they’d carry it away. “A new rug for the living space.”

Imogen cracked a smile, eyes following to the room in the corner and giving Laudna a beautiful view of the light tracing her neck.

“Done.” Imogen said turning back. “We’ll go to market this weekend. What else?”

Laudna cracked a smile, feeling this weight lifting… feeling around inside herself for what else she might be thinking without filter.

“Maybe some apricots?” She shifted to the side and tapped the top of the oven. “The stove still works and I want to try baking again… it’s been some time…”

“You can have em.” Imogen laughed. “We’ll pick em from the fields, and bet my dad has flour and sugar he ain’t using.”

“And… I want…” She stared at Imogen for a second, a sudden burst of heat inside her running free now. Her eyes dipped to her moon-traced lips, then back to her eyes. “The last thing I want… I don’t know if I can ask for…”

************************

“Do it anyway…” Imogen breathed, and she saw Laudna’s eyes firmly on her lips now, no preamble, no attempt to cover it.

“Are you sure? What if…?”

She heard the smattering of her subconscious breaking through the surface of her thoughts, ruin this- overstep- hurt you- misread- ruin this- can’t- she deserves- ruin this- ruin this- ruin this-

“Laud…” Imogen took a step toward her and her eyes darted back to hers. She stood but an arms length away from her now and reached her fingers to her wrist, gently circling her delicate skin. “Ask.”

Laudna’s eyes somehow got even wider, even blacker, and so so… soft. Like the space beneath a warm blanket.

“Can I… show you what you mean to me?” She whispered.

Imogen’s heart felt like it punched a hole in her body and left it blank for Laudna to crawl inside and fill completely with her.

“Gods yes.” She breathed, voice hitching. Anticipation may be deadly if it made her feel like this for much longer.

Laudna looked to be suffering from a similar affliction, but she took a deep breath (that Imogen still wasn’t sure she needed) and reached up with both hands, delicately placing her thumbs on the edge her jaw, the rest of her fingers curling to gently press against the column of her throat. She probably felt the way Imogen swallowed at the action, and her lips parted ever so slightly.

‘You’ll tell me if… I do too much?’

Imogen nodded feverishly for her own reassurance, but she already knew there was no way in hell she’d ask that of her. Her touch made her feel greedy. She wanted everything she would give.

She gently traced the edge of her cheeks, over to the side of her face, around the shell of her ears, and down her neck before continuing down toward her collarbones. Imogen was stock still, not fear or embarrassment but just… too full of kindness and care to know what to do with it. She exhaled a shaky breath as she continued along her clavicle and walked her fingers down the planes of her arms, circling around her elbows before drifting down to her wrist, then threading their fingers together and squeezing her palms. Imogen’s body kicked in and squeezed back as she exhaled again, a shaky breath that belayed all of her excitement.

She held her like this for a moment, leaning forward so that their foreheads touched and Imogen heard that song in her head, that wonderful music, now with a new accompaniment. And she knew it was for her…

When Laudna leaned forward and kissed her it felt like the world had gone silent in the breath of it. The crickets, the wind, all she could hear was the ringing inside her ears, the blood-boiling inside her, the music-

She let her lead and felt her devotion, felt the feelings that didn’t have words. Felt the pain and the loneliness that they could expel here together, between them. Of them. In a world of their own making. She kissed her back when she felt she could follow the tune, and Laudna hummed against her in a beautiful breath that Imogen swallowed, just to keep it inside her forever.

Their lips parted for a fraction of a moment before returning, and again, and again, and every press of her felt more perfect than the last. The sound of their skin pressed and parting, the slight pucker after, the way she ran her tongue along the outside of her mouth, then the inside-

When Imogen had kissed her in the field it had been brief, platonic almost, and hard to tell if Laudna had really returned the motion but now… now Imogen was getting swept away in it. Their hands parted so that they could hold each other closer. Always closer. A hand around her hip, or in her hair, a hand at Laudna’s cheek, a hand clenched in the fabric of her top. Now there was no mistaking what they wanted from each other. What they could be for each other.

And it was everything.

She was everything.

They could be everything…

*************************

“Saw your lady last night, did ya?” Relvin asked, drawing Imogen’s eye from where she was in the kitchen, picking through some old supplies. He winced at his own words and saw the wall between him and his daughter go up in a second.

“Maybe. Why?” She asked, blankly.

“It’s not a judgement.” He held up his hands in surrender and sighed. “Just trying to make conversation.” He walked around her to the counter and grabbed an apple. The skin was just starting to bruise, but it was enough. He tossed it in the air a few times and caught it.

“You look different… when you’ve seen her.” He said quietly, almost to himself. Imogen set down the bag of flour and sugar she’d been holding on the counter and turned toward him, leaning her wait behind her with her arms crossed.

“Alright then yes, if it’s so obvious. I saw her.” Imogen said, still tense. Still keeping her guard up. He couldn’t blame her for that. Hell, he’d probably taught her that.

Relvin bit his apple, not sure what else to say.

“Things still going good?” He asked.

“Yes. Great in fact.” Imogen said, and he had to fight to not roll his eyes. She wasn’t spiting him by having a good time, she was only setting herself up for hurt. But how did he tell her that? How did he tell her the pain of when that person was gone? And you’re left without them, picking up the pieces, wondering why… why you couldn’t keep em? Why you were never enough? Why they had the gall to walk out.

“Enjoy it.” He said, setting the apple down.

“While it lasts?” Imogen added sarcastically, and he scrunched his nose.

“I wasn’t going to say that, but yeah. Alright? Cause when it’s over you’re gonna feel like a bag of shit. But…” He breathed out long and low, trying to compose himself. “It won’t make you want to undo the time you had.” He felt that wound inside start bleeding again. He thought he’d long ago cauterized it. “So enjoy it for what it’s worth. And don’t get side-swiped thinking of a future that never comes.”

Imogen stared daggers at him.

“I wish you wouldn’t talk like you know everything all the time.”

He scowled. “Oh cause I don’t?”

“No.” Imogen practically laughed. “You don’t know anything about what I’ve been going through and then you step in on the one good thing and assume it’s going to be shit like the rest, just cause it was for you?”

“Don’t- you don’t think I pay attention? You don’t think I know this shit? Ain’t seen it before? Newsflash kiddo, it’s the oldest story in the book.” He gestured out with his hands to his sides. “Some big city girl comes in, tells you things you’ve never heard, that are so unlike what you have and you fall hook-line-and-sinker for it. You feel different because she’s different and it makes you think you can be too, right? But then the problem is you’ll never be what they need. Never what they truly want.”

That old wound was gushing blood inside of him now. He saw lavender eyes, different from Imogen’s staring back at him. He saw her abandonment in the empty bed that he still had to lay in and try not to think of her every night.

“Just don’t be surprised if they use you for what they need and leave you high and dry.” He said. And he saw the hurt on her face as he did. It didn’t feel good, to hurt her. It never did. But better he break this illusion before it got worse.

“Mom didn’t leave she died…” Imogen said, looking very hard at him right now, and he felt a prickle at the back of his head.

“Get out of there.” He practically growled, sensing that familiar invasion of his mind.

“You told me she died.” Imogen said, borderline accusing, and he couldn’t take it.

“Yeah and now I’m telling you your girls probably going to leave, so come off it.” He said, louder now, trying to hurt. Swinging to get her out of that locked box in his head. “But you know who’s not? Your dad. I’m still going to be here. When it all goes bad you’ll still have a home, and that’s more than most people can say."

And with that he turned back out the door, letting it slam behind him.

Chapter Text

“Whatcha working on Laud?” Imogen’s voice came from over her shoulder.

Laudna was dreadfully focused, one eye closed, tongue pressed between her lips as she threaded the needle through the bone. It was a tiring process, but it wasn’t pressure it was precision. Finding where the cracks wouldn’t spurt, but where a thin string could find purchase.

“Reconnecting with an old friend.” She said, letting out her breath as the needle finally pressed through the bone and she tied off the last stitch. She pulled back to look at the small rat body in her hand. She’d found it under the floorboards when she was cleaning and finally had a place for the raven skull she’d been holding onto ever since losing the original.

Imogen came closer behind her, crossing her arms to rest on her back and leaning over her shoulder to look at her handiwork. She hummed a questioning tone and her breath tickled the back of Laudna’s ears. What a silly sensation… a tickle. She quite forgot for a moment that she was holding anything until Imogen reached around her to cup the back of her hand and turn it for closer inspection.

“And who is this little guy?”

Laudna smiled, feeling a warmth in her cheeks that traveled down to where their skin met. They were getting more and more comfortable with these casual touches.

She set the needle on the table, pulling her other hand above the small body and letting black sinew drip down from her fingers to his appendages. He snapped to life, standing uprightish while she shifted her knuckles slightly, finding the balance again, the blend of slack and tension to give him energy.

“E’llo boss! Been too long, it has!” The little raven skull spoke. It may have come out of her throat but they were his words. He turned to address Imogen, noticing her for the first time. “Where’s me manners, Pâté De Polo at your service ma’am. And might I add you are quite the stunner.”

Imogen breathed a small surprised sound, but when Laudna tilted her head she saw her smiling quizzically.

“Hello Pâté. My, what a pleasure it is to meet Laudna’s friends. How come she hadn’t mentioned you sooner?”

“Well you see, we had to part ways on not too great of terms. What with fire and all wherever she inevitably goes I just couldn’t keep up. She had to move on without me.” And Laudna saw the memory he spoke of, clear as day. It had been about 6 years ago. She’d had to hurry and leave in the middle of the night. She’d let herself get more comfortable in that place… believed she’d been safe and secluded… still had more time before the town would be alerted to her. But the torches came all the same. Hadn’t had the time to repack when she shimmied out of the smoke. Things were left. Friends were left.

“Since then well… she just doesn’t normally get as settled. Can’t leave anything behind if there’s nothing in the first place, and nowhere important.” Pâté said rather matter-of-factly, but he turned his little beak toward her after with an odd look on his face. “I suppose if she’s gone ahead and made me again she must be feeling safe here.”

And he was right of course… she did. She really did. She looked up at the space around her, the patched roof, the door that finally opened and closed, the hanging plants her and Imogen had managed to set by the windows where they’d get plenty of light. The drapes along the top that Imogen had bought from town last week. It had stunned her when it happened.

‘They’re lovely. But honestly, you didn’t need to spend money on my little project.’ She’d said in disbelief as Imogen had procured the blue floral fabric with a proud smile.

‘Don’t be silly Laud,’ she’d assured with a shake of her head. ‘Besides it really makes the place feel new and homey, doesn’t it?’

And it did.

Imogen hugged her gently around her middle, pulling her from her daydream.

“Good. I want her to feel safe.” Imogen said, pressed into her neck and Laudna shivered at her warm breath dancing across her ghostly skin.

“You’re a big part of that.” Laudna murmured and she felt Imogen’s smile more than she saw it.

“Hang on, is this thee famous Imogen you told me so much about?” Pâté exclaimed. “Oh she used to go on and on.”

“Don’t exaggerate, it’s unbecoming.” Laudna said pointedly at him.

“It’s hardly an exaggeration. ‘Sides me, this was your best friend from all those years ago, wasn’t it? And look at you two now. Peas in a pod, huh?”

“You could say that.” Imogen said, pressing a kiss to Laudna’s neck that made her ears feel very warm and the thin hairs on her arms stand up very straight. “And I suppose I have you to thank for taking care of her in the in-between?”

“Well I may not look it, but I’m quite the tough cookie when brass tacks have to be had.” He chuckled and flexed. Laudna had to fight not to roll her eyes. She’d forgotten what a ham he was. “But mostly I was there for the chats. Day to day stuff and pep talks. Can get very lonely living out on the road and on the run. ‘Aving someone to talk to, even a dead rat, can keep the other voices at bay.”

“I bet.” Imogen’s voice softened, and she extended her hand to pet Pâté. “Well welcome home. It’s great to have you back.” Imogen squeezed Laudna’s shoulder before releasing her and stepping back and Laudna couldn’t fight the smile on her cheeks.

It was starting to feel a lot like home…

She was starting to feel a lot like home.

**************************

Imogen was starting to feel… and it was hard to admit because it was hard to acknowledge, but… comfortable in her skin again.

Somedays in the past it had felt like she was in the wrong chapter of a book, or that her body couldn’t contain what it was supposed to be. The lightning scars hadn’t helped… they had made evident what she knew, of whatever was inside her trying to escape. Even her own self didn’t want to stick around, but… now…

Now… when she looked over at Laudna high in a tree, picking mushrooms from the tops of branches reaching up at the tips of her toes to grab some berries, she felt like… maybe it was always meant to be this way. Maybe there was a perfection to being imperfect because she didn’t need everyone seeing the real her. She smiled, waving a telekinetic hand to pull the branch lower so Laudna could reach. Her dark eyes lit up with a smile of success and she grabbed the stalk, stowing the berries in the basket dangling off her other hand. She flashed a smile down to Imogen and how… how could she feel like anything less than deserving? And if she was deserving… maybe she wasn’t so bad. Maybe those lights in her hands were just her way of expanding out into the world.

Laudna had slunk down the tree, surprisingly spry for such a stick of a woman and Imogen chuckled.

“You were that kid that always had mud on their pants, weren’t ya?” Imogen asked, cocking a hand on her hip.

“Precisely why I wear skirts now.” She laughed back with a smirk. “Hides it better.”

Imogen smiled and offered her hand to take the basket, but Laudna merely took it in hers and pulled her closer booping a quick kiss on her nose.

“That wasn’t-“ Imogen was going to protest but laughed instead at the innocent look in Laudna’s eye. “You know what, it’s fine. It’s even better.”

Before Laudna could respond they heard a sound rip out in the low light of the evening and Laudna’s eyes changed to a darker tone. She moved swift, putting herself in front of Imogen and the sound, arm up to shield her and basket discarded, slowly stepping them back toward the tree to put something behind them.

‘Laudna?’

The sound came out again, a growl, from something large. And close. Imogen tensed, putting an arm up on her friends shoulder and seeing the shadows by Laudna’s feet starting to dance and dart… like the dark itself was getting ready for a fight. Her jawline was set and the immediacy of it all made Imogen feel a little stunned. To see this instinct kick in. They stepped back further, curling around the side of the tree bark, Laudna’s fingers extending into black claws at the ends of her hand and pressing into the bark to peek around.

They heard steps closer, a crunching of twigs and brush, and a few huffs of something sniffing the air. Imogen gripped Laudna’s shoulder tighter.

She reached out with her mind, feeling the twinge of life moving before her. Whatever it was was indeed big… she’d could sense its size more than its thoughts. But it was something like… hunt.

“Laud…” She whispered in her ear, and Laudna reached behind her to grip her arm. Her touch was tight, protective, she felt a rumble in Laudna’s mind that seemed to tear out of a different crevice from her usual thought line.

The sounds came closer and when she could see the shape of it she realized what it was. A bear. Its muzzle broached into the clearing, sniffing the air. Its claws came soon after, stepping out into the clearing.

Shit. Was all Imogen could think.

The bear was big. As expected, but still… it overcame her, this sense of smallness. She felt a chill down her spine of adrenaline. The bear noticed the basket and moved closer, nudging it with its nose, but still sniffing the air for something else. Them, presumably. Shit. Imogen thought a second time.

It's eyeline moved around the outcropping of trees and settled on them, pausing again. It leaned into another growl, stepping to the side in an attempt to circle around them. Like it was playing. Like it was curious. She heard Laudna snarl this time for real, and was stunned by the venom in her tone. It was warning, it was powerful, it was dark. She looked and saw the black dripping from her eyes and dark veins tracing out from behind her glare under her pale skin. The bear took it as challenge, pausing and tilting its head.

When she hissed again Imogen felt a protectiveness simmering under her skin in turn. And as the bear took another step forward she stepped up beside Laudna, purple glowing on her fingertips. Her hand flared up as warning toward the bear and she saw the purple on her hands brightening against the dimming light. Saw it spark like a flint being struck. And whether it was the light or the two of them or some other instinctual understanding the bear paused and began stepping back.

Laudna’s form seemed to shift beside her, getting a little taller, the shadows being pulled in like a vacuum to where she stood, and that was the final push the bear needed. Noticing it was not the apex predator here. It turned and retreated, growling once more before disappearing into the brush again.

She reached out with her mind again, sensing the creature until it was far enough she didn’t dare think it would come back. She put her hands back down by her side feeling the rush leave her and the panic diminish, then looked over to her side to take in Laudna.

She was breathing a little hard for her, eyes no longer filled to the edge with black, and wiping her thumb at her tear ducts to smear away the black ink. Her form had dropped back to normal height and she was looking anxious but in a different way.

“Hope he didn’t smoosh our mushrooms.” She said, but with none of her usual candor. She still was staring off after the brush like it might return at any second.

“Yeah…” Imogen swallowed, and then lessened her hold on Laudna’s shoulder, running a soothing hand down to her back. “He’s gone by the way, I can… sense it’s mind.” Laudna turned to her finally, looking a little more herself and nodded, then sighed a deep breath with her eyes closed and seemed to center herself, but looking so exhausted afterward.

“That’s a very handy skill you have…”

“Bear radar?” Imogen said, trying for light. Getting a small smile curled for her efforts that she’d take as a win.

“We can call it that.” Laudna agreed, and her eyes trailed down to Imogen’s hands. “That was something too…”

“Oh…” her eyes turned down to her fingers where she knew she’d seen the spark. “Yeah that was… new.”

“Your eyes changed color.” Laudna said softly, looking at her with a thin smile and curious praise. “They went all white, like… you were channeling something.”

Imogen blinked taking it in, putting her fingertips to her cheeks. “They’ve never done that before…”

“Maybe it was bear activated.” Laudna said with a bit more humor and ease coming back to her.

“Maybe it was cause I was thinking of protecting you.” She said without thought, then paused at the flash of surprise she saw in Laudna’s eyes before a genuinely warm smile came back to her face.

“And I of you.”

Imogen paused, knowing what she wanted to ask, already sensing the barriers Laudna put up around this topic. But she’d only seen it’s like one other time. Also to protect her.

“Think you’d have had to turn into your other other form again?” There was a pause where Laudna turned her head away, dropping Imogen’s eye and fiddled with something at her waist before she heard the voice.

“Well if it were between a bear and you, yes I do believe the missum would take that form. Give the bear a right fright.” Pâté’s voice came out as she realized he’d been pulled from his spot on her belt, animating while Laudna was still turned away, only revealing her profile.

“I bet it’d be something to see Pâté.”

“It certainly is, but believe me you don’t want to see it. It gives even me a chilly in my willy!” Pâté exclaimed.

“Well I don’t know about that.” Imogen said, still addressing the puppet. “It’s still Laudna, and I love all sides of Laudna.” She said, and now Laudna’s eyes darted back to look at her.

“You… do?” She said softly. And Imogen smiled and gave a nod.

“I do.” She said, feeling a swell in her throat at the way the words had ended up arranging themself. “And I think it’s pretty amazing… to know you in a way that’s… special.” Imogen blushed a little bit. “Sorry if that sounds silly.”

“It doesn’t.” Laudna answered automatically. A breeze shifted between them and she watched her skirts and hair dance in the moonlight as the openness leaned between them.

“That was beautiful! Geez boss, show er’ already. You gonna keep a lady like that waiting?” Pâté piped up.

“Alright, enough of you.” Laudna said, stowing the mouse and Imogen had to fight to hide a chuckle at the display.

“So… is that a yes?” Imogen asked, not trying to press her luck too far. She reached into Laudna’s mind to follow up with, ‘It doesn’t have to be right now.’

“No, no I… you did ask before, and I said yes then.” Laudna said out loud, looking at the ground with that little crease in her brow showing she was thinking of something very intently. “I… I can show you. Just-“ She looked around and reached back for Imogen’s hand. “Maybe further away from any potential bears?”

“Lead the way.”

They’d gone back to their cottage (how quickly she was starting to think of it as theirs. It wasn’t of course, it was Laudna’s. She wanted it to be Laudna’s and for her to have something that was hers again, truly.) Laud had moved with a surprising amount of urgency in her step, and once they’d gotten into the foyer and deposited their finds Laudna scurried around the room, lighting the torches and lamps they’d been able to scrounge about the space. It cast a variety of white and yellow lights around different parts of the room that seemed imperfectly perfect, and Laudna moved to stand in the center of it. She was fidgeting with her hands now that she’d come to a stop.

“Alright… alright, I can show you…” Her voice came out a bit stilted but her eyes looked determined when they fell on Imogen. She nodded and stepped forward, hoping her presence could be calming.

“Only if you want to.”

‘I actually think it’d be… nice… to share with you.’ Laudna thought back, gaze shyly resting on Imogen before turning back to the ground.

Imogen nodded softly and Laudna closed her eyes with a deep sigh through her nose. Nothing happened at first… And then- the lights shifted as if a breeze shook through the closed room. The shadows cast by the sconces seem to sprint to Laudna’s form as it cracked and expanded. She hadn’t heard the sounds the first time in the torrent of the storm. But now… the cricking, the way her body racked itself and expanded… she wondered if it hurt. If it felt powerful. She watched as impassively as she could, but was sure her eyes were as wide as the two moons in the sky.

The shadows painted her upper arms, black but not as deep as the shadow itself. Her from still carried the reflections of the light, but they all seemed dimmed, frightened perhaps to stand tall in her presence.

She stood at her full height now, back straight and head a good foot and half higher than it had been before, shoulders wider, and arms wrapped in tendrils of darkness. Her eyes leaked with black teariness down her cheeks but her eyes themselves were like white discs inside the sea of grey. Her face still kept many of its features, though her jaw seemed to dislocate as if it could swallow them both whole. The indication of her clothes were still there along her form, but they too were lost to the shadows. She was awed, having her looming over her in this space.

Imogen took a step closer.

‘Can you still hear me…?’ Imogen asked into her head.

‘I cAn HeAr YoU.’ And the voice distorted inside her head like a chorus trying to speak all at once, but Laudna’s voice ringing the most true beneath them. She took another step forward, and reached her hand up, almost unconsciously. Almost on its own accord in a silent request, and Laudna met it, crouching so her cheek came to rest against it. Her skin was colder than usual. And that was saying something. It was rough where it was usually smooth, but she stepped closer again so that they were eye to eye, curling her thumb around the hollow of her chin.

‘Laud this… is amazing.’  She thought, hearing her own inner voice with a bit of breathlessness. ‘You are amazing…’

Laudna’s brow creased, and the sharp forms of fangs scraped out from her bottom lip for a moment before the shadow form bent its head in and pressed closer to rest against Imogen’s.

Imogen sighed, eyes fluttering shut at the icy balm of her contact.

‘Thank you for showing me this.’ She looked up into those eyes again, closer than ever, wider than ever, and leaned in just a little to press a soft kiss to those warped lips. She felt the exclamation of surprise without words inside of her mind, but felt it shift into something more docile and affectionate. Something smitten. She thought she knew then for sure…

She was hopelessly… irrevocably… recklessly in love with Laudna.

**************************

The house was coming along. Yes, it no longer felt like a shed or a shit hole, but like an actual… home. Laudna let herself admit it as she took out a tray of baked goods from the oven. She smiled seeing the pastry had crinkled golden brown on the top like it was meant to and smelling the sweet burned off sugar as it filled the room.

“Smells good.” Imogen said from the other side of the room where she was steeping some of the wildflowers and herbs they’d picked into two mugs. She pulled out the thin mesh material they’d been using as a makeshift tea bag and set their two different colored chipped mugs on the table.

The chairs themselves were mismatched, salvaged from Farramore’s barn and turned from scrap to function (though one may have wobbled more than Laudna liked, Imogen had merely chuckled and told her it was fine and she had agreed, if only because Imogen had chuckled and it made her chest light up.) The table had actually been a lovely cut of oak she’d guess, and cleaned up nicely. The room had come together. Truly. The rug in the space by the hearth would truly finish that space off.

Laudna grinned and brought over two piping hot pastries, licking the residual heat off her thumb and catching Imogen’s eye lingering before she turned away.

“I hope it’s still good.” She said, taking her seat as Imogen set their mugs down in front of the pastries. “I kind of had to kerfuffle the recipe together.”

“Did you say… kerfuffle?” 

“Well- yes, I mean it’s ramshackle, it’s bits and bobs, it’s improvised, and none of those words are usually how I like to refer to baking. Maybe jazz, not pastry.” Laudna said with a grin poking through her stance. Imogen was already laughing silently, hand holding her side.

“No no, sorry that’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting these scones to have turned into a kerfuffle of all things.” Imogen said, laughter breaking through her words and now Laudna was laughing too.

“Well best eat it before it becomes a cold kerfuffle.” She insisted and Imogen put up her hands in surrender and agreement. Laudna lifted her own pastry to her lips but was eagerly pretending she wasn’t watching Imogen for her reaction.

She took her first bite and found that it wasn’t bad. She tasted the buttery pastry, the bright bit of apricot. Could use a dash more sugar, but she’d always notoriously had a sweet tooth.

“Mmm… Lauhd thiss is…” and she pointed at the scone with her mouth full in a round cheeked smile. “Really really gewd.” She gave herself a second to swallow and smiled brightly. A bit of pastry stuck between her teeth. “You sure you haven’t been secretly making these this whole time?”

Laudna smiled smally, the kind you couldn’t banish, it just poked up like a groundhog. She turned her head and brushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

“No, it can’t be that good.” Laudna said bashfully. “I’m extremely rusty.”

“Well if this is rusty I can’t wait to see greased.” Imogen said and Laudna couldn’t help but laugh, ducking her head at the praise.

Imogen shifted back in her seat and looked over toward the hall where the door had been left open to the yet untouched bedroom.

“You working in there next?” Imogen asked, tone changing a little. Like a question but covering a different question under it.

Laudna followed her eyeline and saw the edge of the rusted bedframe she’d just started cleaning the day before.

“Yes, this parts come together so well, I figure that’ll be next.” She said, already thinking of the ways she could re-stuff the mattress, take off the age old stains, maybe get some new sheets down the line.

“You planning on spending some nights here?” Imogen asked, slight quirk to her brow.

“Not yet, but maybe one day.” She wove her hand dismissively.

“Makes sense. I’ll uh… miss our routine.” Imogen said lightly.

“Well that barn isn’t doing us any favors long term, and you know… perhaps…”

She looked at Imogen now and saw a realization blooming of what she was offering. She smirked gently.

“Perhaps?”

“Perhaps one day we’ll want the option.”

Imogen’s expression shifted again, something daresay… hopeful.

“We, huh?” Imogen said.

“Yes… it seems most of my plans include the both of us.” Laudna said holding her eye. There was a growing spark there that made her think of the night they’d kissed in the kitchen. That had been… wonderful didn’t seem a strong enough word. It had been altering to a deep truth inside of Laudna. It had shook her core and made her crave the shake. And moments like this… moments like when she’d kissed her dreaded form… moments were compiling where she didn’t quite know what was holding her back...

She was pulled from her reverie by Imogen leaning in front of her, sucking on the tip of her thumb, then tracing it along her cheek. Laudna’s eyes practically fell off.

“You had flour.” Imogen said, but her breathing had changed as she leaned in, and Laudna could count everyone of her eyelashes.

Her eyes dipped to her retreating thumb, wondering what it would feel like under her own tongue.

She wasn’t sure where that thought even came from… but she was starting to think it had been a bit too loud with a mindreader at the table, who’s eyes were suddenly shining and who’s lips parted in a little ‘o’ of surprise.

Her breathing seemed to stop… though she didn’t actually breathe, which made the sensation alarming. But she became very aware suddenly of the way her tongue tasted in her mouth, of the way Imogen’s eyes looked like been sugar-glazed…

“Imogen…” She heard her own voice pipe up, and remembered there had been something she was going to tell her… what was it? There was a haze now of thumbs and tongues in her mind, but she had definitely been going to say something before she got so distracted…

“Weren’t you supposed to go to Farramore’s today?”

Imogen blinked, seemingly also lost in the moment before her eyebrows shot up.

“Shit! That was today wasn’t it? We need to close up the- before the storm- shit.” She rushed over to get her boots on and Laudna rose with her, moving over to the closet to pull out her riding jacket. She turned to offer the sleeves for Imogen who slid her arms into the offered jacket then turned to stare at Laudna again, this charming little smile pulling at her lips.

“Yeah… I think I could get used to this.” She said, reaching out to Laudna’s hip and pulling her into a quick kiss that had Laudna’s insides doing little pierorets.

“Think I could too.” Laudna said lightly, leaning both arms against Imogen’s front and letting herself soak in this little domestic moment.

“Better save me some of those.” Imogen nodded back toward the quite forgotten pastry tray in the kitchen and Laudna smirked.

“No promises.” She teased, but even to her the teasing sounded far too smitten to be taken seriously.

**************************

Imogen made the ride on Heart’s back in record time, distracted by an image of flour on cheeks and thumbs on tongues and a gentle smile at the door to wish her off playing back on loop. She almost ran Heart into the barn itself, or at least into another farmhand. 

“Whoa, there girl!” She heard from before her as she pulled up on the reigns to see Relvin holding his arms up at the horse. Heart paused her gait and sighed her horsey sigh and Imogen demounted in a swoosh, not sparing her dad a look as she walked over to the hitching post in the shade.

They hadn’t talked since the other day at the house, and she was plenty fine leaving the rest of their lives unspoken.

She heard his boots saunter up in her peripherals as she tied the rope.

“I mean shit, I assumed you were pissed, but didn’t think you’d run me over.” His tone sounded like it was meant to be joking. But she wasn’t laughing. Nor was she giving him any sign of acknowledgment as she tightened the last knot and headed in toward the barn.

She heard him sigh again, and was annoyed that their shifts had had to overlap. A headache was already starting to form at the cusp of that loose place in her defenses where her emotions had flared last time.

When he’d inferred… no, damn near confirmed… that her mother… 

Well whatever she was, he wasn’t telling her everything. And she hated the idea that he’d been lying to her all this time.

So she got to work, picking up the feed buckets and a brush and moving toward the stables. Work was easier. Flora was in the first stall, and Imogen tried to focus on her, and not her father floating in in the background. Other workers were arriving and chatted with her dad, some offering her a word of greeting that she returned with a nod, but she was happy to keep the distance.

But that didn’t seem to be something Relvin was going to give her today. She heard his sigh again as he braced both arms on the wooden door and leaned against it, looking over at her. She patently didn’t pause or stop, just kept brushing Flora’s back and letting her mane obscure her view of him.

“So can I meet her?” He asked on the end of another long sigh. That got Imogen’s brush to stop. Her whole mind if she was being honest.

“You want to meet her?” She asked, disbelieving, and finally turned to look at him.

“Yeah. I do.” He said awkwardly, turning to break the awkward eye-contact. Good to know where she got the habit from.

“Why?” Imogen asked, probably unkindly, but she genuinely didn’t understand his intentions.

“Cause I’m your father.” He said, finally turning back and under his tired, defensive eyes was a spark of something else. Something that made her feel like a kid again. “And I… shit, I should be a part of these things. You and I should be able to do these things.”

He waved his hand between them then rubbed his jaw and looked away, looking incredibly vulnerable for a second. “We’re family for crying out loud.”

Imogen paused with the change in his tone, and thought about it. About him meeting Laudna… Beautifully scary Laudna…

“You really want to meet her?” She asked again, not softening her tone.

“Yeah. I really do.” He said equally defensive. But then he sighed again and looked at her, hands up in surrender. “I do. If you want me to.”

The implications of her two worlds colliding…

“You can not be rude to her.” Imogen said, plopping the bucket on the floor and letting it clamor. She turned to face him, arms crossed. “The second you say anything to her like you did to me we’re walking away, and that’s it. Got it?” She said in clear warning. For his part, he nodded.

“Deal. That’s not… that’s not why I wanna meet her, okay?”

“Okay.” Imogen said, cautiously. Arms still crossed in a stand-off, until he nodded awkwardly and turned to go. She sighed through her nose once he was gone and tilted her head back.

That was so not... how she thought any conversation with her father would go. But... Laudna was a best kept secret. Would she want to journey out of that? Even for something like this? 

“Hope this doesn’t end up being a bad idea.”

**************************

“That was rather successful!” Laudna said cheerily, popping up out of Imogen’s shadow with a flourish to take some of the bags as Imogen had the rolled up rug leaned against her opposite shoulder.

“Yeah, can’t believe the price we got on this thing. I mean it’s old as dirt, probably full of it too, but you did love the colors.” Imogen said fondly rolling her eyes.

“They’re lovely! Look at them, oh it’s like a petrified bouquet.” Laudna said, running her hand along the surface and only pulling a small face when her hand came away with, admittedly, dirt. “And it will contrast nicely with those drapes you picked out so, there.”

She felt quite proud of their little shopping adventure. Imogen had made good on her promise and helped her find a rug of the right size. It must’ve looked quite silly to the shopkeep who was watching one woman work through the different rolled up carpets and rugs and unknowingly having conversations in her head with her shadow. But Imogen had been patient, held out the colors as many times as Laudna asked, and smiling through all of it.

“Wanna grab a seat and eat these berries?” Imogen asked, nodding toward the bag Laudna had taken with she of the fruit and supplies they’d gotten. “I could wait til we walk back to the hut, but I’ve been craving them since before we got to market.”

“Yes of course, look just up here.” Laudna guided them toward an overturned barrel propped up against the side of a boulder, and the two of them grabbed a seat in the shade. Imogen fished out the bag of blackberries they’d gotten and popped a small handful in her mouth.

“Mmm, so good.” She said with a lot of bliss on her face that Laudna appreciated more than the berries.

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the chirping of birds and the clouds moving overhead. Until Imogen looked over at her with a different look in her eyes. One close to questioning.

“Do you ever think about going anywhere else?” Laudna cocked her head to side, waiting for her to elaborate and she brushed her fingers in a little gesture. “You know, not like… permanently but… isn’t there anything else out there in all the places you’ve been that you… want to go back to?”

“Like to check in on?”

“Yeah. With your powers I… I don’t know, I was just curious if like… Would you ever want to go back to Whitestone? I know you said she’s probably not there but… is anyone?”

“No one I’d want to see enough to go back to that place.” Laudna said a little blankly. And the images of her family from far in the past played out for a moment. “I wouldn’t even know who to look for… or who would accept my ilk returning. Maybe one day I’ll want to, but no need to tempt fate. Going back there would feel like willingly walking back to the gallows.”

She didn’t realize her hands were shaking until Imogen clasped hers.

“I’d never let them hurt you like that again.” Imogen insisted, and the image of her standing against the bear played back. Laudna smiled weakly.

“You don’t have to promise that.”

“But I will. Because fuck that evil bitch and her kind.”

“Such a mouth on you.” Laudna tsked in a pretend scoff. Imogen smirked, but then looked off at the horizon for a moment, considering.

“When someone hurts you like that… it makes me feel irrational.”

Her words felt like a warm blanket being wrapped around her shoulders. She could imagine Imogen standing over the woman, her presence far outmatching anything Delilah could have mustered. Eyes glowing white, fingers sparking purple.

“You’re quite capable. If she ever comes back… you can have first swing at her.”

“If she comes back there will only be the one swing.” Imogen added, drawing her eye back to Laudna to show her sincerity.

“I feel like we haven’t talked about you the other night… with the bear.” Laudna looked at the purpled lines on the hand she was holding and traced one around the knuckle. “How did it feel?”

“Like my magic was trying to strike out of me… but I didn’t know what form it would take.” Imogen’s eyes traced the line after Laudna’s fingertips. “I’d never felt anything like that before.”

“Your powers may be beyond the limits either of us have experienced.” Laudna said with a gentle nod. “How much power still lies in you… I suppose it remains to be seen. But I get the feeling you’ll keep surprising us.”

Imogen nodded for a moment as Laudna still traced gently around her knuckles, seemingly lost in her own head.

“Why do you ask, by the way? Do you... wish to go somewhere else?” Laudna said after a few moments of silence. Imogen gripped her hand a little tighter.

“My father… said something the other day… about my mother.” Imogen bit her lip, staring at the floor.

Laudna stilled, but waited, leaning a little closer from her perch, hoping her body language said enough of ‘darling you can tell me anything.’

“And it’s got me wondering…” Imogen finally continued after a long breath. “If there’s more answers out there… since he doesn’t seem to want to tell me.”

Laudna nodded. “Have you thought of… reaching out to her?” She tapped the side of her head in a gentle motion.

Imogen hung her shoulders a bit like she had indeed been thinking of that. A lot.

“If I reach out… I don’t even know if it would work. I doubt she’s close, I don’t know how far it’d be, it could be nowhere, but I also…” She shook her head a little. “I don’t know if I’d feel better or worse. To hear her… or… hear nothing.” She fidgeted in her seat a bit and Laudna turned closer to her, sliding her hand down lower to loop around her arm.

“You don’t have to today, or any tomorrow on the horizon. But if you ever do… I’ll be here. We’ll figure it out together.” Laudna said, voice trembling lightly with devotion she felt rippling through it. Imogen closed her eyes and nodded, leaning a bit more into Laudna’s shoulder.

“There’s answers out there somewhere… to all of this hopefully.” Imogen’s eyes traced her purple scars. “Maybe… maybe with your powers we can go looking sometime.”

Laudna nodded. She’d never taken someone through the shadows with her… but for Imogen. She was willing to move mountains.

“We can certainly try.” She said, and Imogen turned back to her, letting out another deep breath and looking more herself.

“One other thing Laud…” She tilted her head in question, waiting for her to continue. “My dad… wants to meet you.”

Laudna blinked. And then studied her eyes. And then blinked some more.

“Meet me?”

Chapter Text

“What’s her name?” Relvin said and Imogen flicked her gaze back over her shoulder. “You’re… lady.” He said, gesturing with his free hand while he got the reigns situated on the new stocky mare Griff. Imogen already was leading Flora out of the barn.

“Laudna.”

“Laudna what?”

“Just Laudna.”

Relvin raised an eyebrow that Imogen raised right back at him. Daring him to say anything on the subject. He shrugged in surrender, but she was ready to end this ‘meeting’ before it even started. Hell, poor Laud had been fretting about it ever since Imogen brought it up. She’d repeated multiple times that they didn’t have to, but Laudna seemed adamant even though it made her uncomfortable.

‘It’s your father! I have to go, it’d be so rude not to!’

‘I know… but I know you like to keep a low profile…’

‘I do. But- again he’s your father! And maybe…’ She’d seen the look in Laudna’s eye that was so serious. ‘Maybe if he meets someone like me… then maybe he’ll be easier on you.’

That had just about shattered Imogen’s heart into slivers, but somehow also made her feel more protected and cared for than anything anyone had ever done on her behalf. She was putting herself out on a ledge on the chance she found a shield for Imogen to wear out there. She was too good. Truly. And once she’d gotten that idea she was determined.

They lead the horses around to the trail they usually rode when they needed to get the critters some exercise, and where they had told Laudna to meet them for the ride. A ride was good. It was out in the open, but enough away from prying eyes. Relvin had awkwardly offered they do dinner, but shit, she didn’t even do dinner with her dad. She figured this spared them all that option.

40 to 50 yards up the bendy trail was a tree with a rock they often sat under to get out of the heat, and standing there, shifting her weight from foot to foot was Laudna. Arms clasped behind her back, expression, even from here, looking a bit frantic. Imogen smiled anyway, just happy to see her. She took a deep breath and walked Flora down the trail.

“You must be… Laudna?” Relvin’s voice called out as they neared. She saw her spring up and plaster on a nervous smile. Hands already playing with her hair. 

“Yes! Hello, and you must be Imogen’s father. It’s lovely to meet you.” Her voice was a bit high pitched, but she smiled through the nerves in an endearing way.

“Just Laudna?” Relvin added as he got closer and Imogen furled her bottom lip at him. Laudna’s eyes widened then lowered, with a slightly more somber tint to her smile.

“Yes, just Laudna.”

“What about your parents?”

“Dad.” Imogen said in a warning tone, stepping closer between the two of them.

“Well… they abandoned me so I abandoned their name.” Laudna said, voice steady and expression unflinching, still smiling as if she was stating the weather.

Relvin gruffed a single sound in response. “So you got a name, you just don’t use it?”

“Correct.”

“And it would be?”

‘DAD.’ Imogen repeated into his head and watched him flinch an eye, gritting his lips and shooting his eyes over to her.

Laudna looked between them seeming to understand the tension and cleared her throat. “Bradbury. That’s their last name.”

Relvin sighed through his nose. “Clears that up. And they’re… not from around here?”

“No, afraid not very close. Other side of the world just about.”

He studied Laudna now, scanning up and down her stitched together outfit and shock of white hair. He didn’t say anything but Imogen knew her father, knew how he was, and could practically predict his line of thought. She took another step closer, tightening her grip on the reigns, waiting for him to utter a single foul comment.

His eyes went off to the side instead and they stood around for a beat of awkward silence before he gruffed another sound, turning to hitch himself up onto the horse. “Well we gonna ride or what?’

***************************

After their introductions, that she wasn’t sure had gone all that well, Imogen and her father had climbed into their respective stirrups, both with furrowed brows. She could see the resemblance, and she worried in that moment (as she had worried her entire way there) that she was going to mess this up. And somehow make it worse for Imogen in the long run.

The voices were being very unhelpful today.

A gentle hand reached out before her with leather gloves and lightning scars and she looked up to see those lovely lavender eyes. There was some concern, a lot of care, and even without her mentally asking she could tell from the line in her brow that if she gave Imogen any indication, they’d ride off and away from this interaction, not sparing a glance back.

But she could do this. She’d told her she could do this.

“Flora give me strength.” Laudna whispered in a quiet barter with the horse as she pulled herself up. For her part the horse brayed a soft, calming sound. Either unbothered by her inner turmoil or meant to encourage her that it would work out. She chose the latter.

Once she was up in the saddle, tucked in front of Imogen with her warmth draped along her back it was a little hard to remember she should be worried. She just felt safe.

‘I’m sorry about him.’ Imogen thought into her head. She couldn’t make out her expression from here but her tone belayed she probably had the same set jaw that could split a mountain and those sad-tinged eyes. Laudna shifted her hand over Imogen’s on the reigns as subtly as she could.

‘It’s fine dear. It’s normal I suppose for him to wonder these things about me.’

‘Well he should ask about you , not your past. But he’ll never see that.’

‘Maybe he’ll surprise you.’

‘How you see the best in everyone is beyond me.’ Imogen hummed this last part with a small laugh, and Laudna felt her shoulders relax a smidge. Imogen ticked her tongue and Flora started off down the path. 

Relvin and his tan mare kept pace as they rode in relative silence for the first stretch of the path. Laudna tried to let herself forget, and just enjoy the path. The light dappling in through the trees. A red bird cawing up above the limbs and branches. Imogen’s steady heartbeat she could feel pressed behind her.

“So… Laudna…” She turned to see Relvin still staring off down the path, but eyes a little squinted like he was struggling with small talk. “Why’re you here?”

She felt Imogen turn to look at her father, and could sense the scowl on her face.

“Well I’m here because you invited me on a ride.” Laudna said, trying for a bit of humor, but quickly adding. “But I presume you mean why am I in Gelvaan.”

“If you presumed as much, you could’ve just answered that question.” Relvin muttered and Imogen breathed a thin angry breath out of her nose. Laudna chuckled awkwardly.

“I could’ve yes, but then we would’ve missed out on this great bonding opportunity. And on a chance to poke fun at semantics.” Laudna said, gesturing with her hand. “But I digress. I’m in Gelvaan because…”

Oh, you know she realized now that she’d started this sentence without actually planning how to end it.

She couldn’t exactly say it was because his daughter had reached out into the ether and mentally invited her.

“Well I’ve been a lot of places truthfully. I suppose… I’m just looking.”

“Looking? For what?” He raised an eyebrow in her direction.

Laudna swallowed, feeling the age old answers she used to give herself when she was aiming without purpose. A walking corpse with no grave.

“Hmm… would you believe me if I told you I wasn’t sure?” Her voice lilted a bit at the end and she felt Imogen curl a bit closer to her, protectively.

He just shook his head once and sighed again. Laudna sensed he was about to be done asking questions, but she felt that was… unsatisfactory. She wanted to explain herself better, so she figured, what did she have to lose?

“I do think the more interesting question is why I left.” She said, peering at him from the side of her eye. “But perhaps you were being polite by not asking that directly.”

“He doesn’t need to ask about that.” Imogen said, coming to her defense, and it was sweet. Endearing really. Laudna patted the inside of her arm.

“No, he doesn’t. But I can tell him if he wishes to know.” Then she turned to him fully. “I can tell you, Relvin, if you want to know how I got here.”

He gruffed a single sound that Laudna was coming to take as affirmation, and she nodded. 

“Very well.” She cleared her throat. “My family is from a large city called Whitestone, at least on paper. The little town we lived in outside of the city had no name and was controlled by the city anyway, so we were often rounded into it. We did travel inside the borders to do our trade, to sell and buy, it’d be where my mother worked her seamstress business on occasion.”

All of these memories were so easy to recount… and she hoped it gave Relvin an idea of where she came from. She thought he might be looking a little more at ease, though it was hard to tell from his profile.

“So we didn’t come from much, me and my family. But that was fine, we knew how to make do with what we had. Until…” She paused, because this part always felt like it deserved the pause. The true end to her childhood. “Well, until the city was in turmoil. There was a coupe underfoot… all politics and, pardon my language, bullshit started by people with much more power and money than the common folk like us.”

Relvin gruffed another sound at that, which she took as a good sign that he understood, borderline sympathized with her points.

“I didn’t know it at the time, I was too young. But my parents were fearful. Everyone I knew was fearful and ultimately… after seeing some of the cruelty up close, I too was fearful. So I left. Just in time too, it would seem, as a full on civil war broke out not a few months later, nearly toppling the place.” She felt the pain in her neck flare up. Every now and then that phantom pain of a rope felt like it was rubbing against her skin. Her fingers drifted up to it subconsciously and traced the line.

“I don’t know who’s still there, I don’t know who’s still alive, I just know… I can’t go back to that place.” She said, voice sounding a little more somber to her own ears. “They’re rebuilding according to what word has traveled this far, and I wish them well in that endeavor. But it will not be easy to undo all that happened there.”

The sounds of the hooves on dirt filled the silence that followed. Imogen’s thumb trailed off the reign to hook around her pinky and Laudna accepted it gladly.

“Shit, kid.” Relvin said from beside her, practically under his breath. But she saw the way his hard lines had softened. He had heard her. And maybe he didn’t understand yet, but… this felt like a start. He was at least trying to listen.

The ride was nice, Imogen had checked in a few times to tell her when they were coming to a sharp curve or making sure she was doing alright. To be fair she was basically a bag of bones riding along this thing, but she was giving it her best shot, and luckily Flora rode very smooth all things considered.

They neared river and demounted in the shade, sipping some water and giving the animals a quick break. Imogen lead the two creatures down to the bank to make sure they too got some drink, leaving Relvin leaned against a tree with Laudna sitting on a mostly flat rock.

“You uh, talk in people’s heads? Like she does?” He said rather suddenly, gesturing off toward where Imogen was about 30 yards away. Laudna cocked her head toward her, then back to Relvin. He didn’t look disdained by the comment. Actually rather curious.

“No, not quite like she does. Why do you ask?”

“You two look like you’ve been having secret conversations all day. Every time I look at ya, you’re both looking at each other like…” he gestured with his arm out as if unsure how to describe it.

“That’s a fair assumption.” Laudna nodded. “And no, I can’t talk into her head like she does but I can respond if she reaches out to me.”

“You can?” Relvin asked, eyebrow cocked in genuine surprise. Laudna looked back at him with her head tilted further to the side.

“Yes. I sort of supposed anyone could. Haven’t you ever tried?”

His eyes went a little blank, and then he looked away. She’d even dare to say he looked embarrassed.

So that was a no, then.

He, and most likely everyone in town who was even aware of it, had taken Imogen’s powers as a bad sign. Had shivered when the voice showed up or tried to block it out. Never even attempting to be accommodating or understanding, just… seeing it as bad.

Quite unintentionally her hand had gone to her waist and the threads had sprung to life as Pâté had a thought to add on the matter.

“Well maybe you ought to try it sometime. It’s not so scary, and might even help you understand what your daughter’s been going through. Innit that a revelation?”

Relvin’s eyes went rather wide and he didn’t blink for what felt like several minutes. Laudna blinked back before slowly extricating Pâté and putting him back on her belt with a little pat.

“Sorry, he’s rather opinionated.” Laudna said plainly, then turned her focus to the wildflowers growing around the rock she sat, running a fingers across their stems. “But in this case, I think he’s right.”

**************************

When they rounded back to the stables and the sun was just starting to head to the horizon for the night Imogen finally sighed a breath she’d been holding since they started the damn ride. Her father hadn’t been entirely rude, Laudna hadn’t seemed entirely upset, things seemed to go… okay?

The last leg of the journey had been mostly Laudna checking in mentally.

‘Think it’s going alright? Should I talk less? More? I just- oh I want this to go well!’

‘Laud relax.’ Imogen had smiled sympathetically. ‘You’re doing fine. Plus, I don’t want you acting like anything but yourself, okay? I like who you are.”

Laudna had blushed a little at that which made Imogen tally a small victory for the day.

‘I just… don’t want to be too much.’ She said shyly. Imogen leaned a little closer, propping her chin on Launda’s shoulder.

‘Baby, I will never ask you to change on behalf of Relvin Temult’s opinion. Or anyone’s for that matter.’ She realized that might’ve been the first time she’d called her baby, but… she didn’t regret it. Especially the way she’d seen Laudna’s smile creep onto her lips as she stared at her hands. Imogen felt bold and placed a small kiss on her cheek, pulling back to focus on the horse and the path.

‘Think he liked Pâté?’

Imogen snorted a laugh at the question. She’d only caught the tail end of whatever conversation the puppet had come out for, but seeing her dad’s face… yeah that had been priceless.

‘I think he was certainly a surprise.’

Now they were demounting and Relvin took the reins from Imogen when she’d gotten back down and nodded over his shoulder.

“I’ll go get these two settled. Give you a moment.” That was fine, Imogen patted Flora and moved back to stand at Laudna’s side. Relvin took a few steps but turned back to Laudna who was already picking at her nails, seemingly at loss for what to do with her hands. He opened his mouth like he might actually get some words out but paused and simply nodded his head to her. She waved a bit too enthusiastically in turn, and then he was gone into the barn.

Laudna stopped waving and sighed so hard Imogen thought she might pull something.

“You alright there?” Imogen chuckled. Laudna nodded.

“I think I’ll survive.” Her smiled was light, inviting. Imogen stepped closer to her.

“Thank you…” She said softly. “For doing this.”

Laudna’s smile grew and her eyes softened, and she said rather quietly, “I think I’d do just about anything for you darling.”

Imogen looked around to make sure they were by themselves, but leaned in for a quick peck. “Wait for me at the rock where we first picked you up?”

Laudna nodded, already a faint purple blush on her cheeks. “Probably best he doesn’t see me follow you home, lest he know we’re already sleeping in the same bed. How scandalous.”

Imogen bit her tongue to hide a laugh and shook her head. “And on that note-“ She turned and started walking back the rest of the way to Farramore’s barn, and Laudna chuckled before shadow shifting herself away.

Imogen walked in, the sun just cresting to orange and navy to see her dad closing the paddocks. He gave her a nod. Imogen leaned against the frame.

“So… you’ve met her now.”

“I have.” He said back, winding some rope around his arm that he the hung on a hook.

“What’d you think?” Imogen asked, a dare laced in the question. Relvin, for his part, didn’t sigh. Just said in a rather plain tone,

“She’s… quirky.”

Imogen looked pointedly at him and he turned with his hands out to his sides.

“What? I didn’t say nothing bad.”

Imogen rolled her eyes.

“Quirky means odd, odd means different, and different to you is bad.”

“Geez you never give me any slack.” He rubbed his face. “She is quirky. And odd. And different. But I didn’t say she was bad.”

Imogen waited while he went through whatever inner ramblings he needed to and he shook his head finally, turning to look at her fully. She was surprised at the sincerity in his expression.

“I think she’s good… for you.” There was less strain in his tone than she’d expected and her arms uncrossed in response. “I’m not blind, I can see it. I just… Good people can still hurt you.”

“So can anyone.” Imogen countered, tone softening to match his. “Just trust her, please? Trust me?”

“I do.” He nodded. “I do.” He confirmed again.

Another moment of silence passed, the crickets coming out to sing their nightly song. He sniffed once to clear the air and shifted his hat on his head.

“The rat though? What is the deal with that?”

Imogen chuckled louder than she meant to, hand coming up to wave it off.

“Hard to explain… part of her charm.”

Imogen finished up, giving her dad a wave as she slid on her coat. He was staying on to work the night shift, but it would be pretty light. He’d commented the harvest had been shallow. Too much rain, he figured with a shrug. But either way, all of that meant she could finally break away from work and walk out to where she’d left Laudna.

She took the steps down the path, already catching a small glimmer of the musical thoughts coming through and smiled. They were animated, even from this far. She must be talking to some flowers, or a squirrel, or more than likely, Pâté.

As she neared in she saw indeed, the third option was the case. But her body language was surprisingly closed in and serious. She scrunched her brow and waited before approaching, not wanting to intrude.

But from where she was, parts of the conversation carried up to her. The music practically drafting them up the hill.

“We just keep going in circles mate. Likes I says, if you like this girl, do something about it! She kissed you first right?”

“Right… she did…” Laudna said in response, one arm bent around her waist in thought the other, of course, holding up Pâté. “And I’ve kissed her back, to be clear.”

“And now she’s had you come and meet the family! That’s a big step.”

“It is it is… I’m surprised she wanted me too.” Laudna said, a little softly.

“You and me both.”

“Hey!”

“All’s I’m saying is do something nice for her. Can’t always leave it to her to bare her heart and be the one moving things along.”

Imogen’s cheeks were suddenly very warm and she very much felt like she shouldn’t be hearing this.

“That’s true… ’s not fair.” Laudna paused. “I suppose I’m just… I’m so nervous.”

“Well duh, but did you ever consider that she might be nervous too?”

Very insightful Pate. Imogen thought. She also thought she should get away from this little bit of conversation. Should she go back up the hill? Try this again? That’s what she should do. She turned on her heel and carefully went up the hedge line.

“I suppose she could be… it just seems… she’s just so capable.” Her voice carried and it was adorable really. Imogen’s ears were now completely red.

“She can be capable and scared. People have sides.”

Imogen turned over her shoulder briefly, still catching the last bit of the sound from her thoughts and words. From this angle she could see Laudna hum, her wrist relaxing slowly and drooping Pâté.

“She can be…” she seemed to say to herself.

“Get out of that silly head of yours sometime, the world’s fascinating.”

“Such an ego when you make your point.” She countered dryly.

“Court the girl. Put yourself out there. Good things can happen on the edge.” Pâté chimed, louder than he’d been. Imogen winced and hurried her step.

“Or you can fall.” Laudna pointed out.

“Or you could fall, but I got a sneaky suspicion… she’d catch you.”

If anything was said after that Imogen was blessedly too far away to hear it. She leaned her back against a tree, smiling to herself. She felt so silly, but she wanted to respect her friend. Her… girl? Her… what was Relvin’s term? Her Lady? That felt wrong. She was just… her someone. But she hadn’t gone so far as to explain it past that. To herself, to Laudna… to anyone really. She didn’t know if she needed to. But if Laudna needed clarity… well shoot, maybe they should.

She made a point to turn and walk back a bit louder than necessary, stamping her feet in the mud and leaves. When she rounded the bend Laudna looked up with her grand smile, stupidly beautiful every time.

“Oh! Just who I was looking for.” She exclaimed.

Imogen smiled, tilting her head.

“Looks like you found me.”

“Looks like I did.” Laudna chuckled. Pâté was back on her belt, chat apparently done.

“Everything alright?” Imogen asked lightly, coming forward and noticing that Laudna was staring. She loved to stare. Sometimes she didn’t blink for minutes at a time, which was both impressive and startling if you caught her at the wrong moment.

“Yes! Yes, absolutely yes.” Laudna nodded, but she was still staring in that straight line. No blinks.

Anddddd she kept staring. Long enough for Imogen to count to 10 and clear her throat.

“Are you sure-“

“Imogen!” Laudna said quickly, clapping her hands together and turning her eyes, brilliantly bright now, to Imogen. “Can I make you dinner?”

Imogen paused. A smile slowly spread across her lips.

“I mean… sure. We make dinner all the time.” It was true, they took most of their meals together. Either whatever she could scavenge in her dad’s house while he was out and make enough to bring two plates of to their little barn with Heart. Or more recently what they could make off their born-again stove in the new little shack in the woods. “But… you’re sounding like you mean this differently.”

Laudna nodded shyer, hands clasped in front of her and fidgeting a bit.

“I might… yes, I mean it a little differently.”

“How so?” She couldn’t help it. She had to have a little fun with this.

Laudna rocked on her heels for a moment before turning back to Imogen. A spark confidence in those wild, dark eyes.

“I mean it more like a dinner date.”

“A dinner… date?” Imogen said, putting a finger up to her chin in faux consideration.

“Yes. If… if that’s alright?” She sounded just the littlest bit hopeful and it was so charming Imogen couldn’t help but crumble. She came closer and reached out her arms, Laudna stepping into her space eagerly and slotting perfectly before her.

“Yeah Laud. That sounds just about perfect.” Imogen said with a warmer tone.

And the subsequent smile on those dark lips… that was absolutely flawless.

**************************

They’re going to have a date. Holy shit, they’re going on a date. Little Laudna grew up to go on a date with someone as amazing as Imogen? It still didn’t feel real. They’d made quick, tentative plans on the spot, because as much time as she’d spent psyching herself up with Pâté she hadn’t actually considered details at the time…

But that was platitudes she could fix. They’d set a time for three nights later. Imogen was set to get off early that day, and that would still give Laudna time to get whatever she needed. Which Imogen was keen on offering to help with, but Laudna adamantly refused. The day prior they’d gone in circles about it.

“Laud, I can just get the ingredients from the store. It wouldn’t ruin the surprise, I don’t know all that much about cooking.” She had laughed. But this felt special so she shook her head.

“No no dear, I- I want to do this.” For you, She almost added but bit her tongue. She wondered briefly though if the thought crossed into that wonderful lavender head of hers anyway to garner the affectionate smile that followed.

“I’m surprised you want to go into town on your own.” She added with a undertone of worry.

“Oh!” Laudna exclaimed. “I’m not. At least not this one.”

Imogen cocked her head in question. Laudna figured actions spoke more than words in the moment, and to demonstrate jumped through an adjacent shadow and popped out behind Imogen where she sat shaded on a rock, twirling a picked dandelion between her fingers, holding an apple in the other.

“I don’t…” And Laudna paused, leaning over to wrap her arms around Imogen’s neck, feeling her hand come up over her forearm in response. “I don’t want to take any unnecessary risks that would jeopardize my ability to stay.” 

“I wish going to town as yourself didn’t feel like a risk.” Imogen said, pressing the hand with the flower into her skin.

“But it is…” Laudna said softly. It was a fact. Not a fun one, but one she could attest to many times over. She sighed against Imogen’s ear. “So I’ll try other towns. And hope they’ll barter for the few things I need. You’ve already gotten me a good bit of the necessities.” She thought fondly of their growing pantry.

“And if… they aren’t too nice?” Imogen asked, turning to catch her eye.

“Well...” Laudna shrugged. “I’d like to purchase or trade fair and square, but I can also leave some coin on the counter and-“ Laudna flashed through the shadows again and plucked the apple from Imogen’s hand in the same wisp. She reappeared a foot away, smiling a little deviously back at Imogen who put her hands up in a sham of protest. Laudna took a victorious bite of the apple, feeling the juicy peel under her tongue and licked the sweet residue from her lips with a chuckle. When she looked back at Imogen she found her staring, a rather enraptured expression on her face. Laudna liked this feeling… of her looking at her like that. She tossed the apple back toward her with a slight flush to her cheeks.

She wanted to explore this… to see what these lingering eyes and touches could be. It felt like a promise, or a threat, or a fuse on a long wick burning inevitably toward something.

Maybe they’d find out after dinner.

The next day she foraged thoroughly through the woods, scoring with a nice outcropping of herbs from a few different trees. Some rosemary, some bayleaves, something that smelled like basil but had a slightly different shape to the stems. She hadn’t sensed any eyes so let herself shadow jump in the interest of saving time and reaching as many places as she could. She thought she’d heard some crinkling branches in a few places and decided on the off chance that there were bears she’d just go ahead and jump elsewhere. No reason to chance it today. The day before her date!

She found a dead hare along her travels as well and inspected the body. Freshly dead. She said a small speech for its departure with her hands clasped before her half-beating heart. She wasn’t religious or overtly spiritual, it just felt right to give a previous living thing its respect and thanks for the nourishment it would give back.

When she got home she hung her cloak and scanned the kitchen for what else might be needed. Imogen had brought over a large sack of apples from Farramore’s. She’d gotten her butter, flour, and sugar from her fathers house. With the hare and herbs she was off to a pretty good start… probably only need some tomatoes, bread, cream of some kind, and maybe some wine or sparkling drink? That felt like something to have on a date.

She had her little list ready to go and picked up the extra bobs and bits she could bear to part with. Some tea leaves she’d dried and prepared herself. A few apples from the bag. Mushrooms and pea stalks she’d foraged by the river. A few handfuls of copper she’d still managed to gather during her travels. Not much, but maybe enough to help her cause. She prepped her little basket and psyched herself up. This would go well. It had to go well!

**************************

Imogen had checked herself in the mirror by the door about 18 times. She wanted to look good, but not like she’d tried too hard. Did that make sense? She didn’t know why this was making her so crazy. She didn’t even think Laudna had other clothes to wear. Which was fine! This was just a date. And a date was, what, at the end of the day? Two people spending time together, maybe with the potential for more kissing? Shoot they already did that like every day. And what her and Laudna had was solid and true regardless. Literally nothing bad could happen during this.

She checked herself for a 19th time in the mirror, and then before she could hit 20 she clutched the doorknob and went out into the night.

Riding Heart down the path to Laudna’s was becoming so familiar she could do it in the dark, but still had the light from the setting sun to guide her this eve. When they arrove she hopped off and brought Heart over to the outside port that she and Laudna had fixed up early in their renovations. Empty crates stacked around the side, private enough for the horse, and patched holes in the overhanging so it gave cover from the outside elements. Laudna had already laid out fresh hay, which Heart eagerly settled on, and Imogen chuckled giving her a fond scratch on the snout before taking a deep breath and moving over to the door.

This was just dinner. She could do this. Nothing to be worried about.

She knocked on the door and took another deep breath, flexing each of her fingers and then her toes. Inside she could already hear some muffled sounds of footsteps and clinking of bowls and spoons. 

The door flew open and there was Laudna leaning into the frame with a toothy smile. “Since when do you knock?” She asked playfully.

“Uh…” Imogen eloquently offered before shaking her head of it with a smirk. “It felt more date-like.”

She supposed she’d either always told Laudna in her head or just let herself in when there wasn’t much of a door anyway.

Laudna tapped her chin playfully. “I suppose that’s fair. Shall I give it a go?” She dramatically cleared her throat, and bowed with a flourish. “Good evening Miss Temult, my you look ravishing.”

Imogen laughed at her over the top accent, feeling their usual dynamic settling in and rolled her eyes.

“Such a flatterer. May I come in?”

“But of course.” She continued, nearly bending herself in half with a bow as she stepped back.

The kitchen smelled amazing. Something sweet, something savory, herbs and was that fresh bread? She eyed a round loaf on the oven still steaming. Her mouth watered.

“Laud… what have you been up to?” She asked turning with unmasked awe. Laudna for her part bounced on the balls of her feet and smiled at the kitchen then back to Imogen.

“Oh just a little of this and that.” She said shyly, brushing a piece of hair over her ear and Imogen noticed the large wooden spoon still in her hand. “Why don’t you get settled at the table? I’m just about done with the first course!”

“First course?” Imogen asked with surprise. Maybe she’d underestimated this date thing.

“Yes! Just a little bread and soup. Then we’ll have- oh wait, should I not tell you? Is it supposed to be a surprise?”

Imogen hummed a laugh, easing her jacket off and hanging it in its usual spot. “Your guess is as good as mine.” She sensed Laudna’s nerves and stepped forward, taking her hand in one of her own and those dark eyes darted back to hers. A small smile followed on her lips.

“I’m sure whatever we do though… it’ll be perfect.”

Laudna’s smile spread and her eyes creased and Imogen had to fight the urge to kiss her right there.

“Perfect, huh?” And the little lilt to her voice as she took a step closer… Imogen didn’t fight the urge the second time. She leaned in, bringing a hand up to her cheek and captured her lips in a slow kiss, luxuriating in the feeling. Often it felt like they were stealing pecks here and there but… this felt unhurried. Just sweet as Laudna hummed against her lips, chasing her for a second kiss when she went to pull away. Imogen chuckled into it, other hand coming up to place at Laudna’s waist. Feeling the little goosebumps rising on the back of her neck and something like bubbles popping in her throat that made her giddy.

When the second kiss came to an end she pressed her nose into Laudna’s, taking in those shining dark eyes this close to her. Letting them be the only thing in her whole world.

“Perfect.” She repeated.

She’d basically almost decided right there that she didn’t need dinner, just to keep kissing Laudna, but she’d smelled something burning and run off to the oven, shooing Imogen to the table and excitedly telling her to take her seat.

The table had been set with all of their mismatched silverware and dishes, some lightly chipped on the rims. A vase was in the middle with fresh picked wildflowers and candles littered the space. Imogen couldn’t fight the smile that came to her lips. It was so… homey. So charming. So much more than she’d ever had.

Laudna had been flitting around the kitchen like bird fighting the wind. She was here, there everywhere. Couldn’t settle. But she looked so happy. She came over with a ladle and a pot and served them both some thin broth that smelled wonderful with slices of bread propped a top the bowl. A few sliced and diced vegetables simmered in the steaming bowls. Laudna also brought over a plate with sliced cucumbers and tomatoes, some vinegar drizzled over them.

“Laud this is… where did all of this come from?” Laudna flitted back over once more with a bottle of wine and poured it into the same mugs they’d used for tea on most afternoons.

Laudna was beaming as she handed the glass to Imogen and set one for herself. The wine was dark red, and smelled a bit fruity. “I had a rather successful trip!”

“I’d say you did.” Imogen said with a relieved smile, picking off a piece of the warm bread and taking a bite. Her stomach rumbled triumphantly. “So it went smooth? No one uh… unfriendly?”

“No! Remarkably well!” She beamed. “Only a few odd looks and one person who didn’t want to sell to me, but that was fine. I overheard where he grew his tomatoes and hopped myself over there to pick my own.”

She settled herself in her own seat and Imogen was just transfixed as always watching the way she moved. The little twitches and flourishes to her hands, her legs, her neck. It was like a dance. How was everyone not enraptured by this woman?

“And the bread! A wonderful woman gave me the recipe, said it really wasn’t that hard to make yourself. And traded my apples for her milk and vegetables! Such a sweet woman. her little boy was cute too, he was very excited to get an apple!” And Laudna chatted and animated her little tale. “I snuck some copper into their basket. Had to. That town seemed like copper went a long way.”

Imogen nodded, spooning a bit of broth up to blow on it and take a bite. It was a lovely vegetable stew, fragrant with the picked spices on top. Laudna dipped her bread in her own and took a bite, humming satisfactorily.

“That’s wonderful, I’m really… really glad to hear there was some good out there.” Imogen said, pausing to look in her soup. “You shouldn’t have to hide.”

“I’m quite used to it darling.” Laudna said, leaning over to pat her leg with an understanding smile.

“You know that only makes it worse, right?” Imogen said leaning in to face her properly. “You’re just… you’re everything. And I hate… how many stupid people can’t see that. Can’t give you the time of day.”

She put her hand over Laudna’s, and those grey fingers turned to squeeze her palm and intertwine their fingers.

“Well… those people don’t get to go on a date with you. Only I do.” Laudna said, nudging Imogen’s shoulder with her own. She cracked a tiny smile at that.

“Well it is a highly reserved honor.” Imogen added and Laudna quietly laughed into her hand. “But this… this sounds like it went good. Maybe things are changing.”

“They definitely are.” Laudna said looking at their joined hands with a dreamy look in her eyes.

After their first ‘light course’ she thought Laudna called it, Laudna recovered the main dish from the oven. A roast hare with a cream sauce of some kind and diced purple potatoes. It was delicious and Imogen thought she might have eaten a little too fast but it was incredible. One of the best meals she’d ever had. Crazy to have food that was so… decadent? And made for her specifically? The concept felt like it was folding her heart in half.

They made small talk over the meal, Laud asking about her day at work. She’d told her relatively underwhelming, which wasn’t bad. Some of the farm hands had complained about the light harvest, saying they’d seen omens or that maybe Farramore was cursed. She’d said he just shoulda hired more workers last season if he expected more fruit to grow. They both agreed to that. Laudna filled her in on Pâté’s antics for the day, and that he had tucked in early, but sent his regards. It was all just so comfortable. Just easy between the two of them.

She sipped her wine as Laudna cleared the dishes, smiling grandly like it couldn’t leave her face. Like any other expression had been banished.

“Laud this is really really so good. All of it.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Laudna said. “I hope you have a little room left for dessert!”

Imogen shook her head fondly. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to make this up to you.”

Laudna turned back to look at her with a bit of question in her eyes. “Make what up to me darling?”

“This… this is so lovely.” Imogen said gesturing up in the air, looking over their little house and little table and feeling all the little feelings stacking like a tower of blocks that are too high. “And shit I can’t… I can’t make anything like this. I can bring you more supplies, or horse rides but…” She gestured off with a wisp of a breath, and then in a surprisingly quick burst of time two hands were on her cheeks, directing her gaze up to Laudna, who looked so damn gorgeous. Like beauty itself made into a form and looking at her like she was worth a damn. Her heart stopped. She wasn’t sure it would ever start again.

“Darling…” She said, soft and sultry and sure. “There’s nothing to worry about. This is… you…” she shook her head once like the words wouldn’t come. “You give me so much. So much more… than anything I’ve ever had. Ever thought I could.”

Imogen’s heart felt like it was crying. Shit, she might be too. Laudna’s thumb slid against her cheek and they smiled long and borderline painfully at each other. Being happy hurt in an all new way she didn’t know it could. Like it was reminding her of all the times it didn’t feel like this.

“I’m so glad I found you.” Imogen finally said, cause she needed to say something. She needed to somehow tell this wonderful human that she was the very sun in the sky and moon and stars and celestial bodies that made it light up in the first place.

Laudna leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I’m so glad too… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Me neither. She couldn’t even voice it. Didn’t want to give that thought any power. She just leaned in and hugged her around the waist.

Laudna pulled out the last course, some kind of dessert tart, from the oven. It smelled amazing. Like cinnamon and apple and buttery pastry. It’d cooked in a small bundt shell that Imogen had to wonder where she’d ever found in this place, and Laudna ran her knife around the rim then shook it out into a larger dish. She beamed at it and turned to Imogen smiling gloriously, a light in her eyes as she sliced two pieces and dolloped some homemade whip cream on top. She mentioned that whisking it had almost popped her arm out of its socket and Imogen chuckled at the image in her head. Could almost see it popping out and still stirring on it’s own, a sentient arm intent on dessert coming together.

When she brought the two plates to the table there was steam still wafting off of them, and a different kind of smile on Laudna’s lips.

“I hope I got the recipe right… my mother used to make this for us all.”

Imogen had a far off memory of a much younger Laudna telling her about how rare apple’s were and a of a certain dessert that was a family special.

“She’d say the key was to slice them very thin so the apple’s didn’t leak too much moisture during the bake.” Laudna said, pulling at a small piece with her fork and looking so vulnerable. Like she was reconnecting with a boxed off part of her youth.

She looked over to Imogen with large, waiting eyes and Imogen nodded, taking her first bite. The flavors practically sang along her tongue and Imogen didn’t fight the sound of enjoyment that rolled off her lips.

“Laud, this is… delightful.” She took a much bigger bite and hummed in appreciation. She hadn’t had a homemade baked good since her mom had made her one for her birthday… that idea kind of shook her. She took another bite and Laudna just smiled at Imogen, watching her eat.

After the fourth bite Imogen swallowed she reached onto Laudna’s plate with her fork and tapped. “If you’re not going to eat that…”

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there.” Laudna said, waving off her offending fork. “I’m just… enjoying the view.” She said, smiling at Imogen again.

They finished their dessert and Imogen’s cup just felt full. Not just of food but of love. Of comfort. Of… home. This was what home could feel like. Laudna offered to clear the plates and Imogen shook her hand with a wave of telekinesis and guided them to the sink. Silverware too. She swiped a small drop of cream from Laudna’s plate as it flew by and sucked it off her finger.

When she looked back to Laudna she was leaning against the table, spinning her finger around the rim of her wine cup, eyes half-lidded and… alluring. Imogen matched her posture, leaning in more on one arm and Laudna reached out her other hand for Imogen’s. She took it, enjoying the cool balm of her touch. She just enjoyed looking at her for awhile. Smiling like a fool and needing nothing else.

Laudna lifted Imogen’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles, laying a gentle peck to each one. She rotated it softly and bent to kiss the sugar residue off the tip of her thumb before taking it between her lips and sucking ever so gently. Imogen’s eyes felt glued to her action. Her breath stalled inside her body.

She pulled back and kissed the tip again, then placed another kiss on the next finger over, and the next, and the next, and Imogen’s breath hitched with each one. When she got to the fourth finger, now staring at Imogen with those dark, burning eyes, she took the whole digit into her mouth, tongue swirling around the skin. It pulled Imogen’s breath out in a ragged gasp.

When she pulled her lips back with a soft pucker she looked as breathless as Imogen felt, and placed Imogen’s whole hand against the front of her face, sighing into it with her eyes fluttering closed.

Imogen’s heart practically growled inside of her, and she wondered if it would start shaking the floor the way it felt like it was shaking her.

“Imogen…”

“Yeah?” She gulped.

“Can I still… want things?” Her eyes peered over at her with this beautiful hunger.

“Yeah.”

“Then… I want you.”

Imogen moved quicker than she thought she could, scooping Laudna up and turning her to sit her hips along the table, leaning into a kiss before she could think better of it. Laudna met her with a surprised moan, the sound turning to pleasure in her throat and her hands came up to frame Imogen’s cheeks, leaning back against the table and pulling Imogen down on top of her.

They slotted into each other and Imogen hummed, feeling Laudna’s skin vibrate this close against hers. The taste of her lips made her feel instantly drunk, more than the wine ever could. The hint of apple, the smell of fallen leaves, the thin lines that pressed back into her with no hesitance… no misinterpreting. They were equals in this desire, and it was exhilarating.

She felt the delicious pressure of their bodies pressed so close together, slid her arm around Laudna’s waist to hold her tighter, felt her cool hands craddling her cheeks, fingers trailing down around her neck, arms pulling her into her embrace. Noses brushing against each other.

Imogen’s hand slid lower, past her hip, and when Laudna’s tongue brushed out against her own she flexed her fingers and gripped into her thigh. Laudna’s lips pulled back in a gasp and Imogen moaned at the sound, lifting her thigh up to pull closer to her and shifting them both back, leaning in to kiss her neck, running her warm tongue along the cool slope of her pulse.

“Imogen.” She breathed, and she pulled back enough to look down at her face, take in the way the light was painting her in soft tones of amber.

She swallowed once, tracing patterns over her frame, mapping the neckline of her blouse and skirts. The little trembles in her wrists, like she was deciding whether or not to reach out between every second. Gods.

“Everything was great Laud…” she said, voice low and rumbly. “But the only thing I want on this table is you.”

Laudna smiled, teeth and lip peeking out, eyes half-lidded. “Little corny dear.”

“Figured you’d like corny.” Imogen said, leaning in to run her nose from jaw to cheek.

Laudna breathed in a stuttered gasp at the contact. “I do… I think…” and there’s something behind her eyes that’s more than this moment. Imogen shifted on her hands to hold herself up a little higher. “I think I’ve never had the opportunity… to be a little corny. And I have a terrible feeling that I may enjoy it immensely.”

Imogen felt a raw smile curl onto her lips. “Yeah, I might too…”

She leaned in and pressed her forehead to Laudna’s, closing her eyes and letting them savor another little affirmation. The world hadn’t given Imogen many chances to feel this… accepted. Unguarded but in a way where she somehow knew it would all be better because of it. Like her heart was shedding an outer skin.

“You may be a romantic after all miss Imogen Temult.” Laudna said directly into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine.

“Not the hopeless kind?”

“Not with lips like that.” Laudna said, running the skin of her own against the shell of her ear and Imogen couldn’t hold herself back. She leaned into it and kissed her soundly. With force and passion and a thousand thank-you’s for the person she was becoming because of her.

Laudna kissed her back, hands roaming up and down her sides, and it felt like something in the back of her mind snapped and was growing desperate for more. More. More.

So she kissed her more. She swallowed her sounds of affirmation, sucked on her bottom lip and found she very much enjoyed the feeling. And the little whimper from Laudna made her think she did too. She rolled her hips and caught friction that made her insides feel like they were sparkling, and she was enveloped in Laudna. It was everything. It was perfection. Her smell, her taste, her sounds, her senses were entirely Laudna.

And yet that same sound in the back of her mind brushed forward for more.

‘More darling?’ She heard in her head and realized she’d opened the doors and pulled Laudna into her thunderous thoughts.

“Sorry.. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to project that.” She gasped against her lips, breaths coming in stuttered waves.

“What do you want more of?” Laudna asked out loud, curling her own waves of emotion inside of Imogen’s mind, making a storm of their own.

“I don’t know.. just you.” Imogen muttered, overcome by the feelings buzzing everywhere. Everywhere she felt her.

‘Let me give you more then…’ She heard gently in her head and Laudna pulled her down for another kiss, longer, slower.

‘I’m not even sure I know what I’m asking for.’ Imogen thought back.

‘Im not sure what to give but… I want to. With you…’

The warmth was passing now, like a match that had been sparked and lit, but now sizzled with a comforting light. It promised an all consuming flame, but one in no hurry. One enjoying the burn on the way there.

“Maybe we… move this from the table?” Laudna said against her lips and Imogen nodded kissing both her cheeks.

“Bedroom?” She asked, as those dark eyes burrowed into her. She got a nod in response, and a kiss strong enough to make her knees shake. She wondered if she’d survive the trip there.

**************************

Laudna felt light-headed. Like she was up in the sky, far away from the ground or mobs or pains or past, or anything for that matter… besides this feeling. This all encompassing feeling.

It felt like butterflies in her stomach, intent on eating her whole. Devouring the shadows that still clung to her insides and leaving something beautiful behind. Something that kept Imogen smiling just like she was now, with red lips and hooded eyes and love. Love flooding through her mind into Laudna’s, making this never-ending loop that she kept getting lost in.

They moved sporadically down the hall, in a haunted kind of ballad as their bodies knew how to strum the melody instinctually.

As they neared the door Laudna pulled Imogen up against her, feeling her back hit the wall and they gasped into each other’s lips at the contact. She pulled back, panting, and saw Imogen’s eyes were dilated so dark they nearly resembled her own. Even this… even just looking at her in this new way… it felt intoxicating. A part of her felt like she should be bashful… asking if she was sure, telling her she didn’t know how to do anything that came next, but… then Imogen reached up to her vest and started undoing her buttons and her own hands were holding her at her hips, pulling them flush, unable to part from her for a second. She watched the last one fall away and Imogen guided her hands in her own, dragging them up her body to the collar of her sheer undershirt and slowly, Laudna pulled the fabric away, revealing all her glorious skin.

Her mind rippled in hunger and admiration in equal parts. She leaned forward and ran the tip of her nose from the line between her breast to her clavicle and over to her shoulder, then back up her neck where she placed a warm gentle kiss to the juncture. Imogen sighed at her touch, hand coming up to thread in her hair and she bit down gently, needing more of her skin. Needing the absorb her into her own so she could never part from this feeling. Imogen gasped and she released her, only to be pulled up into a scalding kiss, tongue and teeth and need dripping off of it.

She traced her nails around her shoulders and down her back, feeling her shiver under her touch and Imogen groaned, actually groaned at it. She thought she saw red, and orange and blue and angels blurring behind her eyelids. It was so everything. She reached behind her for the doorknob and turned it, pulling them into the room.

They worked their way to the bed, pulling the rest of their clothes to land in various piles and whispering quick mental permissions, is this?-yes, please-I need to feel all of you.

She really wasn’t sure who’s thoughts were who’s anymore, they just felt like theirs. She felt the back of her knees hit the bed, and settled to sit, moving her legs apart for Imogen to stand before her. She did, pulling her head close to rest against her chest where she heard her heart beating like a drum.

The bed had been repaired as best it could. A sheet plucked from Imogen’s closet the day before. Candles already lit and left in the room.

“Someone was prepared.” Imogen muttered, looking around the little room.

“Hardly.” Laudna chuckled, enjoying pressing herself to the smooth planes of Imogen’s stomach. Dragging her bottom lip along a hipbone. “I thought we may wish to stay here tonight but… I didn’t expect…” She shook her head with a small airy chuckle.

“I didn’t either…”

“Have you…” Laudna paused, not sure how to phrase her question. “Thought about us this way?”

“Yes.” Imogen said immediately. She kissed the top of her head. “I hadn’t thought about this kind of thing much… there was no one I wanted to be close to like this. No one that didn’t hurt…”

Laudna clenched her hands, holding her protectively.

“Not until you Laud… and I… I don’t want anything you don’t tonight, alright? I need to make it clear that you can tell me no or to stop and nothing will change.”

Laudna looked back up into those wonderful eyes, her hair starting to fall like curtains around them and she smiled, feeling serene and beautiful and untouchable… like the world couldn’t get to them here. Couldn’t bother them. Didn’t exist beyond the door.

“I want to tell you yes, Imogen… I’ve been… having these thoughts of us... Doing things that I’d never dare dream or desire. But now…”

“But now…” Imogen leaned closer, eyes reflecting the candles like rose mirrors.

“Now we’re here… and I just want to see where we can go together…”

Imogen’s hands came up to cradle her jaw and she stared at her like she was made of everything good in the world.

“Me too…”

She rose up onto the bed, thighs coming to bracket her, lips returning to their rightful place, and the candles illuminated their shadows merging, melding, becoming a beautiful puppet show of shape and sound and devotion. She mapped Imogen’s body with her mouth. Drew around the place where her neck met her spine, the backs of her ears, the inside of her elbows, the underside of her breast, the place where her thigh and hips met.

She learned what she sounded like after she’d hit her peak, after she came back to earth, how she shook and sighed when she was touching Laudna… giving her as good as she’d got.

Laudna felt like she was holding onto a ship being tossed by the ocean and she rode the current as long as she could until she let herself drown… until she submitted to the waves of pleasure.

The candles had burned out long before Laudna came to lay fully on her chest against the bed, heaving lungfuls of air that she wasn’t sure she needed. Her body, however disagreed. Imogen was in a similar state, lying on her back beside her, one arm curled over her heart the other still griping the top of the bed frame. A thin sheen of sweat glistened over most of her skin, and Laudna had to fight the urge to lean in to lick it from her. To savor it and everything else that was her girl. To start this seemingly perpetual buzz of need and giving and taking that they’d found themselves in.

She was transfixed, looking at the black pigment sticking to her chin and hands. Evidence of what she’d given her… of what they’d done… and it was beautiful. The ease on her features. She breathed into a smile and turned on her side, facing Laudna now and her smile faltered for a second.

“Honey… what’s wrong?”

Laudna blinked, confused, until she felt the tears in her eyes, spilling slowly down her cheeks.

“Was I… are you…?” Imogen asked softly, scooting closer.

“I’m just so happy.” She breathed, voice cracking with the truth of it. “No one’s ever…” Loved me like this- made me feel so alive- given so unconditionally to me-

Her mind filled in too many affirmations and whether Imogen heard them or felt them or just understood, she came closer, hand pressed into her cheek.

“I know baby… I know…” And they curled around each other in an embrace, like their souls had found a way to join their skin in becoming one. The butterflies had shed their cocoon. The shadow had caught the flesh.

**************************

Being at work the next day felt like a strange, dissociative dream. Like her body was here in the stables, but her mind was still tracing Laudna’s form with the tips of her fingers, watching her twitch. Curling inside that spot of her that no one else knew the say she did now. Finding the hollow of her heart and building a nest.

She thought she could still taste apples and musk and fall leaves on the back of her tongue, and she had probably gotten barely any work done today. Getting from bed to barn had been a feat of strength she thought she deserved a medal for. Laudna had been there, curled against her, skin sticking together and expression so wistful and beautiful she’d had to be encouraged with coffee and a few dozen kisses to even put her boots on.

They’d made lovey eyes at each other across the house as they got ready for their respective days and before she left she told Laudna one too many times, “That was incredible. You were incredible…” And she meant it. Who’d have guessed her first time would’ve also been her first 10 times all crammed together. She’d honestly lost track… and spent most of the morning recounting as much of it as she could. She made sure to pick chores out on her own so no one could see the flush in her cheeks as the images came flooding back to her.

But it ended up proving to be rather easy to be checked out on her own, as she realized after awhile that they were missing a good chunk of their farm hands.

When she rounded back to the barn after gathering firewood she made a quick count and was confused why they’d be missing almost half of their usual guys.

“Sam,” she called to one of the regulars who’d been there for sometime. “You know where everyone is today?”

He ticked his hat back on his head and rubbed his neck. “Yeah, wasting a ton of time. One of em said he saw something in the forest that he was sure was the cause of the ‘curse of Farramore’s crops’ and insisted he take a few of the other guys to see it.”

Imogen rolled her eyes. “Sounds like a real stupid way to waste the day.”

“Tell me about it.” Sam agreed, turning back to the hay bales he was hauling when they heard screaming coming from down the hill. It wasn’t pained but fearful, urgent, and she and Sam shared a look before bolting in the general direction.

A few other farmhands kept pace or started calling to each other to see what was up. Imogen caught sight of the person making the ruckus, an older gent that they worked with. Been on the farm even longer than her Pa. He was waving his arms and breathing heavy, but otherwise looked undamaged.

“WITCH!” He yelled again, catching sight of the rest of them. “There’s a Witch in the woods!”

*****************************

Laudna dove out of the nearest shadow, outlined by a fallen tree and ran through the clearing to her hut. She put her shoulder into the door then turned and slammed it closed, pulse skittering like a spider that lost a leg. She slid down to be sitting against the door, clutching Pâté to her chest.

Her eyes felt wild, her hands shook in a way they hadn’t in so long.

How had they found her?

Why now?

She’d been so careful!

But she’d been out in the woods, spinning with her basket and smiling like a sappy puppy every time she thought of their date. It had gone more perfect than she could have imagined. It was blissful and beautiful and she was still thinking of how she’d woken curled so tight into Imogen’s bubble. How safe she’d felt…

She’d taken Pâté out to fill him in on the previous night, (the tasteful toned down version at least) when she heard them. Voices. Footsteps and voices. And she made the mistake of simply hiding. She crouched against a tree trunk by the edge of a ravine, looking around the space and trying to pinpoint where the voices were coming from in the echoed space.

“This is such a waste, what’re we really thinking we’re going to find all the way out here?”

“Well Jenson said he saw a girl get sucked into the shadows the other day.”

“Yeah, and Jenson’s a notorious liar. Ever play cards with the bastard?”

“Alright but maybe there’s something to it.”

“Yeah, remember Rina saying she saw that monster out here during the storm? Pulled a tree straight outta the ground? I mean come on, we all saw those roots.”

“So you think a shadow monster is what’s ruining the crops?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“I’m just saying it gets us outta work a little longer, and what’s wrong with that?”

A group of voices overlapped and came closer. She could count at least 4 of them. Heard their footsteps moving over crunched leaves and twigs. She slid her back further down the trunk of the tree and looked at Pâté, already pulled from her belt and looking back at her concerned.

“The hell are we gonna do?” She asked him in a whispered panic.

“Why’re you asking me? I can only go an arms reach from you.”

“Further if I chuck you.” She hissed in panic.

“Okay okay, no need to be hostile. Do you want to jump in the shadows?”

The problem was there wasn’t exactly a shadow nearby. Midday and overcast left her with only a few options, and if she got up and moved along the path there was a better chance she drew someones attention since she couldn’t see where they were just yet. She explained all of this to Pâté in a hush.

“Yeah, yeah, fair. Alright then let’s just be quiet, no one’s going to see us if they stay on the main path.”

“True. Okay.” She took a deep breath.

“Plus, even if they do see you, you haven’t done anything suspicious.”

“Except talk to a dead rat on a string you mean?”

“Now that’s just conjecture.”

She heard a snap of twig closer than any of the voices had been and jerked her head to the side to see a young teenage girl looking at her, hair in braided pigtails and a pitchfork in hand, which was a rather triggering state. Her eyes were wide and her posture stiff and Laudna had a moment where she considered that they were probably staring in an almost identical way at each other. Both thinking the other held their future in their hands. She swallowed and lifted a hand to offer a shaky wave, then brought a finger to her lips in silent request.

The girl seemed unsure, the other voices growing, presumably getting closer. She hadn’t pointed the pitchfork at her yet, which was a plus, but the seconds ticked on and she hadn’t seemed to make up her mind on what to do.

And then gravity decided what to do for her. The girls footing slipped on the dewy roots, and she tipped quite unexpectedly over the edge of the ravine. The fog about to swallow her whole. Her screams came out in a burst and Laudna dove forward to where the nearest shadow was and jammed her arm into it, trailing her eye to follow the girls trajectory. There. She reached back out of the shadows in the rocks and hoped the girl understood the message. She’d abandoned her pitchfork and used both arms to wrap onto the shadowed limb coming out of the wall to her apparent rescue. Laudna grunted with the pressure of catching her but focused on bending the shadows to her will and extending her arm higher and higher, still holding the girl, and dragging her back to surface level.

When her knees touched down on dirt she crawled backwards away from the ledge, and looked over to Laudna in awe. Laudna panted from the effort and retracted her arm, seeing the shift in the girls demeanor, before she turned her eyes and saw the group of other voices had gotten closer during the scene and were staring at her mouths agape before-

“WITCH!” Broke out in a chorus, and black tears started falling before she threw herself through the shadow and away.

Now back in her home she was trying so hard to gather her breath. To calm her racing thoughts and frantic nerves.

She tried to tell herself it wasn’t that bad. Tell herself this was salvageable. That she just won’t go that way anymore. It’ll be fine. People will talk, but they’ll forget. She can hide in Imogen’s shadow more often. She can figure it out. This wasn’t- this couldn’t be like the other times. She could still save this.

She rose up from the ground, trying to breathe, but she felt like she couldn’t. She didn’t usually need to but her inability was panicking her more. Like her throat had been crushed. She gasped on air that wouldn’t go down. She set her basket and things on the counter and rubbed her hands against each other.

Her fight or flight response is so often flight. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Not the she never has but… she can’t do that here. She can’t take this into her own hands and then still stay and assume they won’t return with more. She needed to think rationally.

And then the screaming voices… were echoing louder, coming closer.

No. She thought. Shit shit shit shit shitshitshitshtishtishtishtist-

Witch! Witch! Burn the witch! She heard a chorus of past voices swirling in her head, closed her eyes as tight as she could as if that would force the sounds away, cried harder, grit her teeth, and all she could think was that she didn’t want them to find her here.

Not here, in the house that her and Imogen built… not here where they would dismantle it, or coat it in her blood, or she in theirs.

She shook her head. No, if they were going to find her… it wouldn’t be here. It wouldn’t be anywhere that could tie her to Imogen.

She just needed to disappear.

**************************

Imogen was sprinting through the woods. She’d gotten the explanation from the man, Jensen something or other, not important. What mattered was that he’d come crying for help, saying the witch had tried to swallow Rina into her shadowed clutches and that she’d vanished before she could finish her nefarious task. They’d all seen it. But he’d come back to gather reinforcements while they still tracked her in the woods.

Imogen had run without waiting for them to socially find it acceptable. Someone had called after her, maybe? She wasn’t listening. She just ran.

She put a hand to her temple, feeling her panic mounting into a headache and sent out a, ‘Laudna?!’ Desperately calling to find her.

‘Imogen… it’s not safe.’ Came the stunned voice. But Imogen wasn’t looking for safe.

‘Where are you??’

‘Imogen you can’t.’ The voice was echoing with so much remorse and care and she’d appreciate it if she wasn’t falling apart at the seams.

‘Laudna-‘

‘They’ll come after you. You won’t-‘ and the connection was cut off with a cry of pain echoing between her ears that made Imogen feel ice in her veins. She changed tactics, running further through the woods toward their usual spots. Sensing lifeforms, looking for thoughts to detect that might be human or might be groups.

It made it feel like the bricks in her mental foundations were cracking but she was pulling them apart, mortar and grout turning to powder beneath her fingers.

She thought she found something- A pitch in frequency, a change in something mixing with anger and fear and she let it settle in between her. Pulling herself closer. A simmering under her. A clash of thunder inside her chest.

When she got closer she could hear the sounds. Mens voices yelling.

“It does bleed! Kill it!”

“Don’t look into its eyes!”

“Begone creature!”

Their words made that same protective spark flare from the backs of her teeth to the tips of her fingers. Her hands felt like they were burning with the purple light beneath them. Must move faster. Must move faster.

She ran through the clearing she’d first learned to levitate pinecones in, but now her eyes were turning white. Boiling in anger. They better not have laid a hand on her.

She turned around one more tree, one more passage, one more scream, and then she saw it-

Laudna on the ground, black blood already pooling around her arm, her other hand raised above her in a thin shield as three men stood with clubs, machetes, pitchforks, running toward her-

And Imogen saw red.

The thing inside her that scared her as a kid… the clouds that used to keep her up at night and haunt her dreams… she channeled all of it in that moment. There was no storm. There was no thunder. There was only her… and she had become the lightning.

A power ripped through her like a cry. An anger she never felt before coursed through her like a bolt, and she lifted her hands to guide it home.

Her vision blurred white. Her skin burned up to her wrists. The men screamed, a combination of pain and shock, and when the world came back into focus she saw them in crumpled, smoking heaps.

She fell to her knees, air coming in ragged breaths as her senses were spinning. The men gasping on the floor, the smell of burned flesh, the pain radiating in her hands. She was reeling, but then her senses only cared about one thing.

“Laud… baby?” She pushed herself up on wobbly legs, and was met halfway by Laudna crawling over to her, reaching for her hands.

There were trails of black tears dried on her cheeks and a laceration on her shoulder, leading down and around her back. Someone took a cheap shot at her, and it made her want to zap them a second time. Her eyes darted back to the smoking masses writhing on the ground. Laudna saw them too, then turned back to Imogen with set eyes and clutched onto her, dragging them both backwards into the shadows.

Imogen’s breath stalled, immersed in the true black, and struck by how cold the space was. How expansive. Then just as quickly she was breaching back out into daylight that felt impossibly bright by comparison, still clutching onto Laudna’s shoulders. They were hidden under the shade of a tree on a hill further east from where they’d just been.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- I couldn’t let them see you.” Laudna breathed, voice sounding wrecked, eyes scanning her now. She reached out and ran a finger along Imogen’s temple.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. What happened?” She reached up and grabbed Laudna’s hand, pressing her palm closer to her. Feeling dizzy off the cool touch.

Laudna looked at her a long moment as if cataloging it, as if already saying goodbye. And when she smiled it was the saddest little line she’d ever seen on her face. “I think my time is up.”

Imogen shook her head, but Laudna continued.

“They were out on a witch hunt… there’s always a witch hunt… We’d been so careful, I just started letting myself believe this time would be different.” She was staring off to the side now, a forlorn expression in her eyes. “I really wanted this time to be different.”

Imogen pushed up to her knees.

“We’ll figure this out. We can fix this.”

“I have to go Imogen…” And that sentence felt like it disintegrated the hope she’d been building the last two months. She was getting left behind again. “I can’t stay. I put you in harms way by lingering here… and I would never put you in harms way.”

Laudna’s voice sounded like it was fighting tears, but her expression was set. Like a grey sky before a stormy sea.

“You’re not coming back are you?” Imogen realized.

“No my dear dear Imogen… I’m not. I can’t risk something as fragile and fundamental as your safety.” Her lips twitched and it made Imogen want to scream. She leaned forward, pressing her forehead into Laudna’s where they were still knelt on the ground.

“Why don’t we get a say in this?” she forced out, shifting her hands to ball the fabric of her blouse in her fists. Like it would be enough to keep her if she held on tight enough.

“I’ve never had a say I suppose… ultimately.” Laudna said softly. “Not in my life, and certainly not in my death, but… the one thing I chose… the one thing I made my own mind up about was you. And I’m so so glad I was right.” She smiled then with more truth and shifted her arms to hold Imogen firmly against her chest.

She wasn’t sure how long they were curled around each other there on the forest floor. If no one had ever appeared before them again she thinks they would have turned to stone there one day, shaped in a forever embrace with moss and wildflowers growing from their bones. Little snails and frogs making their homes in the shade of their frames.

But of course, the sounds caught up. The sounds of boots and bellows, metal and wood. Anger and hostility, unfounded but unleashed all the same.

Imogen was already convinced she could stand against them all. She couldn’t believe this would be stolen from her. Someone that had cured her fears, helped her strengthen herself when she’d felt weakest. Had held her when the world was crashing down… how could she let that go?

The answer seemed obvious. She couldn’t.

She couldn’t be afraid to stand up for what she wanted. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

Laudna pulled back to look in the distance toward where the sound was growing.

“I can draw them away.” She said. “They don’t know who fired on the men in the woods… They’ll think it was me.”

“No, Laud-“

“They’ll think it was me.” She repeated. “And then you’ll be safe. And that… is all that truly matters.”

Laudna released her and slipped out of her grasp, stepping back and pushing up to stand, body already reforming.

“Laudna-“ Imogen scrambled to her feet, trying to follow after her.

But she was lost to the shadows. Swallowed by it, rising in it, cracking and reshaping with two large arms reaching out to dig into the dirt, an echo most unholy crying out into the world. Then those two white burning disks turned back to Imogen. The last look…

“GoOdByE iMoGeN.” The voice came in her cacophony chorus. “I wIlL NeVeR fOrGeT wHaT wE hAd. ThAnK yOu… FoR sHaRiNg YoUr HeArT wItH mE.” And the creature smiled at her.

“Laudna!” She cried out.

But she was already gone.

**************************

Run. Hunt. Snake. Feast. Left. Right. Move. Move.

Laudna was moving. Laudna had to go, but also had to make sure she was seen.

Decoy. Red herring. Must Protect-

She had to protect her. If she damned Imogen with her own curse then she should have stayed dead in the ground twenty years ago. This was the life of a corpse, not a light such as her.

Her girl. Her partner. Her person…

“There it is!”

The voices were there. She turned to look at them, let them all truly see. Let them know what she could become.

Blood. Fear. Taste them. Devour.

She would do none of that, but the voices… sometimes they were not as forgiving as she was. She lifted a hand up into the air and let the dark and purple energy swirl from between her taloned fingers. She saw some of the faces scream but heard no sounds. Sounds were having trouble reaching her.

She could still see Imogen’s face when she’d said goodbye.

That vision would find her in the moments of silence.

Make her feel like ripping out whatever fragments of heart were still squatting inside her chest.

Feed them to the rats.

Imogen…

She let the swirl of eldritch energy unleash, but at the last moment pulled it back down toward the ground and let it burst at their feet. Several men and women dove. Some screamed and threw their weapons, their clubs, their words, their preconceived notions.

Vermin.

People, She reminded herself. Scared people who have had the privilege to live a life unlike hers. And the very visage her life represented… horrid. She knew this.

Imogen… I’m so sorry.

When she’d woken up that morning… 

It had been to beauty and skin and a kiss on her lips. To a life like she could only have dreamed.

How gruesome reality could be when it caught up.

“Kill it-“

The voices faded in and out but she was lost, clawing through her own subconscious back to the morning… back to that bed with it’s single sheet… lumpy pillow… and glorious halo of lavender hair. One gap-toothed smile shyly grinning at her like she was the one that had created the seasons.

Imogen…

That was right…

Imogen had smiled at her… 

had loved her… 

had worshipped her…

Laudna looked out over the black armor that she’d surrendered to and saw the mob. A decent size. Not the biggest she’d earned, but a hell of a way to leave town. She looked back in the direction of the hill where she’d left the one good person Exandria had ever offered her.

I love you so much.

And the words were true. She wished she’d told her last night. Or any of the other nights. Or when they were twelve. Or the first time she’d met a young girl that was startled by lightning…

But they were true. And that was enough.

This would be enough.

Laudna took a breath, then turned back to the crowds, having gathered themselves from the impact of her first hit, and she grinned at them wickedly.

“CoMe On ThEn. If YoU’rE gOiNg To StArT aN uPrOaR, dOn’T hAlFaSs It.”

She ran in circular, nonsensical patterns. Diving from a shadowed tree to a building and back, watching the crowds confusion grow with their terror. Drawing them further and further from where they’d started, needing to move them from any chance at finding reason to lay a hand on her girl.

She hadn’t heard her try and reach into her thoughts, and that was for the best. She thought she might crumble if she did. Perhaps that burst of energy had taken it all out of her.

Oh, that had been so incredible. She wished she’d gotten to tell her. To explore this power with her and help her harness it.

But Imogen was quite capable.

As she ran she felt her own hunger waning, the shadowed armor of her other other form was incredibly draining. She didn’t often keep it for long periods.

Just a little longer, she needed to draw them away and have enough time to make a jump. That was all.

“What is it doing?”

“Why won’t it attack us already?”

“Which way-“

“Keep at it!”

The voices were still yelling as she lead them through another thicket, and when she dodged through between two more trees she felt that sweaty ache near the end of her powers. She let the shadows start dropping off. Spat a pad of black goop (maybe blood, it didn’t really matter what) and felt her form crack and withdraw back to herself.

She pushed up on her legs that now felt like mop poles and wobbled toward a tree. Just one more jump. One more spot she had to go. Hopefully long enough to recover, then she’d-

The leaves in the bush before her shook as someone pressed out the other side, and Laudna froze, now coming face to face with the same girl from earlier.

She blinked, looking as equally stunned to be standing before Laudna. She instantly took her pitchfork (she found another one rather quickly) up and Laudna prepared for the blow. Not that it’d be her first, she just had to be careful which part she took the brunt of the prongs on. But instead, the tool was thrust into the ground, and the girl came closer…

She reached out with a hand for one of Laudna’s and in a stupor Laudna took it, being pulled back up to her feet. The girl looked at her with set eyes and a kind of wonder mixing with trepidation.

“Thank you for saving me. I didn’t get to say it before.” She whispered. “And I’m sorry… about all of this. I wish they’d listen.”

The voices out in the woods weren’t close yet but weren’t comfortable enough to call far. But the girl squeezed her hand once before pulling away and grabbing her pitchfork.

“She went this way!” The girl yelled, running off down the river, splashing loudly in the direction away from Laudna, and flashing a tentative smile over her shoulder.

Laudna was stunned.

Truly, stunned, but somehow managed to return the smile before crossing the last distance to the shadow she’d aimed for and throwing herself into it.

**************************

Gone… she was gone… again…

Imogen cradled the hand that had once housed those dark, inky veins and remembered the burning feeling when they’d left. It felt like her whole body had turned ice cold this time. She needed to get up. She needed to go after her. The idea that after everything… after last night she’d be right back where she started without her?

Un-fucking-acceptable. She needed to find her. She needed to go.

She brushed her arm across her eyes and nose, bottled the rest of her emotions for later and took a good look at her hands. The lightning that had been there before… barely poking around her gloves, was a good two inches past now, angry red lines of raised skin where the violet scars had torn.

The memory was still fresh, that well up of power. The moment she’d unleashed it, that pool of something she’d pulled from before. It made her feel… strong. Capable she’d dare say that she could defend Laudna. And she clutched her fingers together as she rose to her feet. She may need to call on it again.

And she would. There wasn’t anyone in her town she could think of that she wouldn’t turn this power on if push came to shove.

“IMOGEN!”

Shit, her father.

“Daddy, you have to-“

“What was that thing?! Did it hurt you?” He ran right up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and she was surprised. To see actual panic in his usually passive eyes.

“No, she didn’t-“

“Holy shit. What is this town coming to? This kind of-“

“Dad you have to let me go.” She said firmly, taking his arms in her own and pushing him back a step.

“What are you talking about?” He said, tone turning to blatant confusion.

“I have to go.” And it had been true for probably longer than even she knew.

He turned to look in the direction Laudna’s shadow had taken, where the commotion could still be heard.

“After that creature?”

“It’s her!” She said, frenzied and frayed. “It’s her, dad.” 

And she watched the moment he understood. Now he took a step back, gaping.

“That thing???”

“She’s not a thing.” Imogen said defiantly.

“I- why would that- how?” His hands came up from his sides and his eyes were wide. “Gods, I knew something was up with her. But this-“

“She saved me.” Imogen said, quiet and fierce. She didn’t need him to understand, but she would always defend Laudna. Especially against Relvin.

“When?” He said incredulously.

“The barn!” She yelled.

And he paused… processing this. She could still see his face that night when she was a kid. She’d never seen him so scared and relieved in the same breath. But he knew. He had to know… she shoulda died that night.

“The barn that got struck… went up in flames? She was there. I’ve known and lost her a lot of times in my life daddy… I’m not losing her again.”

“I… always wondered…” He put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. “It didn’t make sense. How you got out.” He said, maybe to himself maybe to answer her. “I was just… relieved. Didn’t want to question it."

“And find an answer you didn’t like?” Imogen countered. But he merely shook his head.

“And undo it.”

Imogen swallowed. She could feel the time ticking, but she realized if this worked this was probably the last time… she’d ever talk to him. It was an odd thought… given they didn’t talk much, but still…

“It was her, Dad. And she’s had terrible things done to her. Things that have made her different.” She holds up her lightning hands for him to see in full. To show him the similarities. “And she wouldn’t have to keep running if she didn’t keep getting chased out.”

He grit his jaw.

“What are you asking me?” His voice tense, but he wasn’t oblivious.

“Let me go.” Imogen whispered. “I’m next if I stay.”

“Stop talking crazy.” He said shaking his head.

“You know I’m right.”

“It’d never come to that.” He insisted.

“You might be on the other side of it one day daddy, running me out.”

“Bullshit!” He said, fire in his eyes. “I never let them do that to your mom, I’d never let them do it to you.”

And if her heart wasn’t already compromised for the day that might have felt like a hell of a wave. But she just blinked, processing it.

“So she was… like me.”

He looked angry, and pained and just too full of shit he didn’t want anymore, and sighed.

“Those last few months she was getting sick… she got markings like that.” He nodded to her arms. “Red ones… and she could…” He tapped the side of his head. “Like you can.”

Imogen set her jaw. She wanted to be angry but there wasn’t the time for it.

“And… she’s alive?”

Relvin hung his head. Voice surprisingly soft. “I don’t know… day she left, which I’m sure you remember,” She did. “Was the last time I saw her… but…”

He looked annoyed but, more at himself, like he wasn’t sure how to explain it. Like he rarely thought of it.

“I hear her… when I sleep.”

Imogen’s eyes went wide.

“Do you see the storm too?” Imogen asked, but he shook his head.

“No, I… I hardly dream anymore… but I hear her. And it feels like…” His face got incredibly soft. All the hard lines giving up for a moment, and surrendering to a different feeling. “It feels like she’s out there.”

Imogen swallowed, taking another step back. Maybe she’d go looking for her one day. The thought was a novelty, and far down the line of what needed to happen today.

“I have to go…” Imogen said, mind already scanning for the shape of Laudna and where it was moving. Where the mob was. If it had caught her.

“I don’t understand what’s happening. But if I let this darkness take you… I have truly failed as a man.” Relvin said, still not looking at her. And she couldn’t help it, she laughed a wry sound.

“Pa… you failed me when I was 10 years old.” His eyes shot over to her. “When I fell so sharply into isolation… and I think you did too. And the shitty thing? We were down the hall from each other.”

He stared at her like she had two heads, but offered no refutal. There wasn’t one.

“But this… this you can give me.”

She heard footsteps, people coming up to the base of the hill now, still calling out in various exclamations.

He took her in, staring like she was a sunset. Then he tapped the side of his head, and she raised a brow at the action. He’d never welcomed her in there.

‘Pa?’ She asked softly, hoping not to startle him, and he stared off in the direction she was heading.

‘Go get her.’ He thought back.

Imogen ran again. She was doing that a lot today. What she’d give to have the power to fly right about now.

She wanted to reach for Laudna’s mind, just to feel her music and know it was there, but her own head was ringing. It felt like it’d split in half if it was tapped in just the right spot, but she couldn’t do that right now. Couldn’t allow it. Needed to keep moving.

She sensed the shape of the group moving haphazardly, and wondered where Laudna had lead them, but she had a gut reaction. That if there was anywhere she was going to catch up to her… it wasn’t by trailing. It was by going to their spot.

So she ran the familiar path, arms pumping out from her sides, dirt sticking to her cheeks and calves. She brushed the tears threatening to form away and just kept going, panting harder and harder. Her lungs felt like they were on fire.

And then she saw it. Her house… their house…

She paused, hands catching on her knees and looked around. There wasn’t anyone in sight, and when she stretched her mind, wincing at the exertion, she sensed them not too far off. Disjointed but converging. Inside there was only one mind, and it was shaped in music.

She forgot her weariness and ran again. She needed to see her more than she needed air or rest or the sky or the earth.

When she got to the door she saw it was already open, the hinges knocked off, leaving it hanging oddly against the frame.

Her breath stilled. And when she walked in her hands came up to her face as she saw the destruction. The plants had been smashed, the windows broken. The table where she’d made tea and laughed and seen Laura craft had been overturned and bent. The pastries that had been wrapped on the counter were thrown about the room, trodden under foot. A chair was laying in several pieces scattered about. There was dirt and debris and Imogen felt the stinging of tears she was pretty sure she’d already cried out welling up again.

She heard a thud in the bedroom.

“Laudna?” Her voice rippled with hope, and she followed over, pushing the halfway open door the rest of the way to see-

“Imogen?”

She was kneeling beside the overturned bed, back in her standard form and torn maroon dress. Her voice was barely a wisp, her dark, beautiful eyes widening at seeing her again. Something like joy coated in remorse looking back at her. “What’re you-“

She caught the thought, ‘I don’t think I have the strength to say goodbye again,’ floating between them and she hated it. Hated seeing what cruelty had done to her person.

“Oh sweetheart,” Imogen moved fluidly, kneeling in front of her and taking her cheeks in her hands, brushing the tears away and looking her over for injuries. There are scrapes in her clothes and a few nicks from where the thorns and brush had probably clung to her, but no further gouges. The one on her shoulder now scabbing over with black blood. Laudna closed her eyes and leaned into her, pressing her hands against Imogen’s. She sniffled once, and Imogen could feel the war inside her head. Of wanting to pull her closer and push her away.

“There was no reason for them to trash the house.” Laudna said finally, eyes opening and sliding back out the door to what she’d worked so hard to restore.

“No, there wasn’t.” Imogen agreed, trying to fight her own tears.

“I thought I’d gotten out in time… but they must’ve seen… where I ran from.” Laudna sniffled. “But I had to come back for Pâté… didn’t want to leave him again.” 

For the first time Imogen noticed the little creature in her lap.

“Course.” She traced her fingers in soothing patterns on her cheeks, featherlight, and watched the sadness inside Laudna simmer away.

“I was really starting to like this place…” Laudna admitted, looking away from the busted window to face Imogen again and she was prepared for the onslaught of thoughts that it unlocked when she did. Like an orchestra pit all kicking in at once. It wasn’t painful, just… vibrant. And so, so sad.

“Imogen… why are you…? They can’t find you here. You know they won’t understand. You hav-“

“I’m coming with you.” Imogen said, rising up on her knees to put herself directly in Laudna’s eyeline, closer to the symphony of thoughts and feeling them swirl in surprise.

Laudna blinked for a second, looking stunned, hands sliding to press tighter into hers like she’d disappear if she let go.

“You’re…?” Her voice got very small, but with a quivering thread beneath it. “I can not ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking. I’m telling. Let me come with you.” She said, her voice dropping to match hers. “Please.” She insisted.

Laudna’s shoulders sagged in exhaustion.

“Imogen… this is no kind of life. It’s… if I let you come with me, you can never return. You realize this, yes? You can’t walk back in after walking out with the witch.” Her eyes scanned Imogen’s, looking for understanding. She caught the thought in her head- can’t subject her to this… “Once you go and are entirely unmoored… you stay that way darling. Floating. I left my home because I can never go back, but you… you still can. You can still have that structure. That safety.”

“This isn’t my home Laudna, you are.” She said, and Laudna’s lips parted in a thin line of surprise. A crack in her argument… a sliver of hope poked through in her eyes. “You’ve seen it. I can’t… I can’t stay here. I feel like a flower being choked out by thorns… there’s no light here just… weeds.” She said with a shake of her head. “And until you I kinda felt like a weed too…”

Laudna’s eyes shone with fresh tears starting. Different kinds. Imogen caught them with her thumbs before they could fall.

“So let me come. You’ll be my tether so I don’t float away, and I’ll be your home so you’re never alone, and we’ll find answers to our questions and a place we can just be us.” It all came out in a burst, all the things she’d been gathering in her heart on the way here. All the things she needed her to know.

Laudna just stared. Expression shifting in so many minute movements, before a smile finally found its way back to her lips. There she was.

“You were always a flower, never a weed.” Laudna said, voice wavering, eyes still looking deep into hers. “I kind of feel like mulch by comparison.”

Imogen smiled with a fond eyeroll.

“You’re not, but I’ll convince you of that another time. We need to go.” There was a prickle in her head, detecting the many minds closing in. She didn’t want to be here when they did.

“We…” Laudna said, and the word sounded like a melody all by itself.

“You me and Pâté.” Imogen said, running a finger along the back of the small bird skull. “Our place is still out there. We just have to find it.”

A yell outside. A thudding sound.

“You’re really sure about this?” Laudna asked again, rising slowly and pulling Imogen up with her. Imogen’s legs wobbled just a moment, fatigue settling in.

“More than anything I’ve ever been sure of Laud. I’m sure of us.” She said pressing her forehead to hers and taking in that familiar smell. Home smelled like her.

What came next would be a leap of faith. She knew where she’d land, but still… taking those first few steps off the ledge was a little scary. But she was coming to find… she liked scary.

“Pâté says he’s glad you’re coming.” Laudna said softly and Imogen’s eyes shot open. She smiled so wide she thought it’d fall off her face. Laudna smiled too, a hand coming up her cheek and drew a little heart with her thumb.

Imogen leaned in and kissed her fiercely. She tasted like the best parts of her past and the future she was hurtling toward. Nothing else waited for her outside of this kiss. Nothing that could be worth more than this.

Laudna wrapped her arms around her waist, and Imogen’s went up to her shoulders. She felt Laudna’s lips so soft, so gentle, and wondered how she got so lucky. To have a little shadowed girl stumble under her bed 19 years ago… and more recently into it.

She saw a shadowed hand reach out and flip the bed right side up, and when her kiss came to an end she looked up to Laudna’s eyes and there was such a peace there she’d never seen.

“I love you so much Laud.” She said, her voice barely a whisper left. Her eyes trailed down to the shadows circling around her feet, coming like a welcome change, a breath of fresh air.

“I love you more than anything.” Laudna said, leaning in to kiss her forehead and wrap her up tighter. “Hold onto me?”

“You got it.”

“I’ve never… well never jumped this far with someone else before.”

“We’ll have plenty of time to get good at it.” Imogen offered and Laudna smirked and the shadows spun around them now, emanating from under the bed, creeping higher and higher.

There was no turning back now. Which was good. She only wanted to move forward.

Laudna inhaled a breath, her eyes turning glossy black, her hands digging in to hold Imogen closer and then the shadows clasped them together, pushing toward a singularity, and dragged them under the bed into the dark.

Into the unknown of whatever the world would offer them next.

But into it… together.