Chapter 1: A Friend
Chapter Text
The bells of Notre Dame tolled 1 o’clock. The sound waves resonated through the air causing his ears to twitch and his tail belt to spasm slightly.
Cat Noir perched lightly on a rooftop and let the feeling subside. His cat instincts were useful in a fight against Hawkmoth’s super villains, but they could be a little annoying. Still, they were part of the price he paid for being Cat Noir.
“So I guess I am also grateful for them,” he thought as the chill, night breeze brought him whiffs of woodsmoke, garbage, and wet autumn leaves.
That reminded him of why he was out so late and ground the butt of his baton into the roof shingles at his feet. Anger swelled up in him again, narrowing his vision and tightening his muscles like springs under his black leather suit. He tried to choke it down, lest he attract an akuma, and launched himself off the roof in the hopes that wearing himself out with running would help clear his mind.
Nathalie had told Adrien that there was going to be a photo shoot on the very same day as his school’s fall festival. He had been very upset about it and had asked to speak to his father about changing the date. It had taken two days before the famous Gabriel Agreste had time for his own son. He tried to explain to his father how important it was, how they were going to be raising money for akuma victims to get the help they need after their trauma, how he was doing such worthwhile work with his friends and they were counting on him. But his father had acted so cold towards him, just stating that there were more important things to be done than attending a mere school festival and that he expected him to comply with his wishes.
His boots thudded across the rooftops of Paris, his teeth bared in an angry snarl.
“The first time he has bothered to see me in two weeks and all he can do is act as if I am a disappointment to him.” Tears stung his eyes at the very thought. Everyone was disappointed in him today.
His friends had been disappointed too. Nino had tried to laugh it off as Adrien’s dad being true to form. (“Dude, your dad is always such a buzzkill.”) Alya had frowned her sympathy and gave him a pat on the back, telling him he would be missed. Marinette had just looked at him with sad, despairing eyes and, when he caught her at it, she blushed and stammered that she was going to miss him too.
Then it was back to his busy schedule of Chinese lessons, a solitary supper at the long empty table, and piano practice before bed. But he had felt so suffocated, so trapped, that he had snuck out on patrol early.
“At least My Lady was her normal, wonderful self around me,” he remembered, the memory of her smile helping to somewhat ease the angry tightness in his chest.
But their patrol had ended three hours ago and Cat Noir still couldn’t stomach the thought of going back to his gilded cage and trying to sleep.
Without realizing it, he had circled back around to the school. From there he could see that colorful tents were set up in the nearby park, ready for Saturday’s festivities. He sighed. Adrien knew he would obey his father, but he doubted even this would give the fashion designer cause to give him the approval he craved.
The wind shifted and he caught a whiff of something sweet. Turning his head, he saw that a light was still on in Marinette’s room over the Dupain Cheng bakery.
“Is she still up?” He shook his head. “No wonder she is always running late. Maybe I should check on her just in case.” It wouldn’t do any harm and seeing one of his friends might help cheer him up enough for him to go home and get some sleep himself.
He remembered the time he had tried to set up that romantic picnic for Ladybug, when she hadn’t showed and he went to Marinette for companionship and comfort. She had barely been surprised when one of the heroes of Paris had dropped out of the night sky onto her balcony.
“Come to think of it, she didn’t stutter so much either.” A slight smile tugged at his lips at the thought of his clumsy friend. He wished she wouldn’t be so nervous around him. He was never really sure why. He knew she liked him and, as Adrien, he had done everything he could to be a good friend, but more often than not his attention caused her to either blush, stutter, or look like a baby deer caught in the headlights. Her nervousness had kept him from getting to know her as well as he would have liked. That she didn’t have that kind of response to the others in their class or to himself as Cat Noir had always been a puzzle to him.
“Well, curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back.”
With his cat’s grace, he leaped silently to her building and peered in her window. Marinette was sitting at her desk, bent over something dark under the light of her desk lamp which, combined with a small, bedside lamp in her loft, just barely lightened the rest her room with a rosy, twilight glow. As he watched, her delicate hands drew out a glint of silver and a long line of black ribbon followed. She wore a look of extreme concentration he had never seen on her face before. Some loose strands of hair had fallen from her pigtails and framed her face more than usual and the tip of her tongue poked out between her lips in the most endearing way. Her hands moved steadily, casting dancing shadows across the desk, stopping only every now and then to check a page in a notebook that lay nearby.
It was such a sweet scene, so domestic and peaceful that it started to soothe the stress and anger in his chest. Her small pink bedroom, full of her drawings, pictures of friends and family, and the smell of her parent’s bakery below, was like a cozy nest caught between the city streets and the night sky. It was such a contrast to his own large, but loveless, house that he was drawn to it like a moth to flame.
Without meaning to, he leaned closer to her window and felt his ring scrape against the glass. Marinette looked up at the slight sound and, catching a glimpse of him outside her window, she squealed in surprise and jumped - needle, thread, and fabric flying out of her hands and her desk chair flipping over backwards with her in it. Cat Noir jumped back as well, grabbing on to the gutter ridge to keep himself from falling. He managed to calm his racing heart and peered back into the window to make sure she was okay. Her dark, silky hair and large, blue eyes were all he could see of her over the top of her desk. He blushed and waved.
Relaxing at the sight of him, she climbed onto her desk and opened the window to let him in.
“Cat Noir, what are you doing here? I-is everything ok?”
Agilely, he climbed through the small round window and perched, cat-like, on her desk, a blush spreading across his face under his mask at having been caught spying on her.
“Hehe, yeah. I was just out on patrol and saw your light on. I wondered what you were doing up so late a-and thought I would check on you,” he rambled in his embarrassment. Realizing that might sound like he was stalking her, he hastily added “I tend to keep an eye on the kids at your school. It has one of the highest akumatization rates in the city and a hero always needs to be prepared.”
She stepped down from the desk and stood awkwardly in her bare feet. She was wearing a thin strap white top with tiny pink dots and matching pink leggings, the same clothes she had been wearing when she had helped him escape to the theatre to see his mom’s movie. He hadn’t realized he had run her all over Paris in her pajamas! The blush spread to his ears.
“I’m doing ok,” Marinette replied, looking self-conscious and holding her left shoulder with the opposite arm, vaguely trying to cover her revealed neck and shoulders. “I was just working on something and lost track of the time.”
“Really must be something important to keep a pretty girl like you from her beauty sleep,” he said, falling back into the safety of Cat Noir’s famous flirting. Ladybug would say “infamous”, but she wasn’t here right now and he had to practice on someone. He stepped lightly down from the desk and righted the desk chair for her.
Marinette rolled her eyes and chuckled softly. “I don’t know about all that, but it is kind of important. I’m making it as a gift for a friend of mine.”
There it was again, just the simple talking that he so wished she would do with him as Adrien. Why was she more comfortable with Cat Noir who she had only seen a handful of times than with Adrien who she saw every day?
Intriguing. His curiosity was tickled again.
As he bent to retrieve the black fabric from the floor, she did as well and they both knocked heads. She stepped backwards, catching her heel on the floor rug and started to fall. Quick as a flash, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards him, but he hadn’t remembered how strong he was and she thudded into his chest. Her arms, which had been flailing around in a vain attempt to regain her balance, wrapped around him tightly to steady herself.
For a second or two, they stood like that. Cat was startled as he felt the first hug he had had in weeks. Aside from Nino, who was a hugger and tended to sneak up on him with one armed hugs, he had very little physical contact with anyone. It felt so good to feel arms wrapped around him, to wrap his arms around someone else, to be in a warm, happy place full of love, creativity, and the faint scent of almond cookies that his breath caught in his throat and he tried to suppress the tears that suddenly stung his eyes.
“Pull yourself together, Cat,” he berated himself. He let his arms fall from around her and let out a long slow breath, trying to get the pounding of his heart to settle down.
Marinette stepped back looking sheepish, blushing and tapping the tips of her index fingers together in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, so sorry, “ she babbled. “I can be such a klutz sometimes.”
“No problem, sweet lady,” he said, taking a step back so as not to repeat the situation and retrieved the item from the pools of shadow under her desk. It wasn’t fabric as he had originally thought, but suede leather. “It was the nicest hug I have had in quiet a while. Even if it was by accident. Us poor alley cats have to take our affection where we can get it, you know.”
He winked at her and he was pleased when she giggled. She was so pretty when she laughed.
“May I,” he asked, gesturing with the piece he held in his hand. She nodded and he glanced down at the leather. It was super soft and thin, about ten inches square, and embroidered with black silk. He moved to the desk and held it under the lamp to examine it closer. The black ribbon was incredibly small and blended in so well with the leather that it took him a second of turning it under the light to see the design. Curves and curls twisted across the suede, punctuated every so often by even tinier spikes, like thorns. He glanced at the notebook and saw a cascade of vines and thorns swirling on the page. It was sinuous, but masculine enough to appeal to him.
Cat looked back up at Marinette with amazement. He presented the piece to her with a little flourish and a bow. “This is incredible, Marinette. What will it be when it is finished?”
She smiled shyly at the compliment and took it from him, her fingers briefly touching his. “Gloves,” she answered. “A friend is having a hard time right now and I figured, since it was getting colder, he might like a pair. I really just started it today.” She looked down at the end of the black silk ribbon hanging from the leather. “Looks like I lost the needle when I fell.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. Let me help you look. Cats can see pretty well in the dark.” They scanned the floor for a few minutes, but it wasn’t his cat’s eyes that found it first. He was searching in the dark corners behind her chaise when he heard a gasp followed by a pained squeak. “Marinette?” He turned to see her hopping on one foot with her eyes squeezed shut in pain. “What-“ That was when he saw the needle sticking out of her heel.
Warring between laughter and concern, he stilled her with a hand. “Here, let me take care of it for you. Feet are hard to do by yourself.”
Snagging the desk chair from behind him with his other hand, he guided it around her until she could sit down. Perching catlike in front of her, he held her foot before his eyes. The needle was for leather and thus longer and thicker than a normal sewing needle and had a large eye to accommodate the ribbon she had been using. If he was any judge, it was stuck about a centimeter into the pad of her heel facing away from her toes. A drop of blood was welling up around the puncture.
“Do you have a first aid kit,” he asked, looking up at her.
She nodded. “Under the sink in the bathroom.” Then she looked nervous. “But it is downstairs and my parents are asleep. My dad would kill you first and ask questions later, even if you are Cat Noir.”
“Don’t worry, Purrrincess. Your knight will take care of everything and tend your honorable wound. Besides,” he winked again. “Haven’t you heard that cats are light on their feet?”
Quietly, he opened the trap door and crept down the stairs. Aside from her room, he had only ever been inside her home three times before. The first time, as Adrien when they were partners for the video game tournament and he had come over to practice and then when he had come to help her translate for her Chinese uncle. The other was when she had proclaimed she loved Cat Noir and her parents had invited him to that tasty, if agonizing, brunch that ended in her father being akumatized. It hadn’t changed any as far as his night vision could see. He snuck down the hall and, under the cover of her father’s snoring, found the first aid kit. He winced a bit as the attic stairs creaked under him, but when nothing stirred he lifted the trap door and closed it silently behind him.
Marinette was where he had left her, trying to stop the bleeding with a tissue. He opened the first aid kit and, taking out the needle, started cleaning the wound with alcohol. Her foot kept twitching and he grasped her heel firmly in his clawed hand to keep it still.
“Sorry,” she whispered, smothering a giggle behind her hand. “It tickles.”
“Oh really,” he smirked as he pressed a bandage over the puncture. “I have never met a ticklish purrr-incess before.” He gently wiggled his fingers against the underside of her foot and she jumped and spluttered.
She pulled her foot away, giggling as quietly as she could. “That’s not fair!”
“Well, you know what they say: All’s fair in love and war!”
Marinette shook her head at his nonsense. She reached out and ruffled his hair affectionately. “Don’t be silly, Cat Noir. We both know you’re in love with Ladybug. You should be more careful or otherwise you could break a lot of hearts without meaning to.”
He stiffened, taken aback by the suggestion. “Marinette, I-I would never-“
She shushed him gently and the ruffle slowed to a stroke. His own mother used to stroke his hair just like this when he was young and scared by a storm or a bad dream. He hadn’t remembered it until now. The touch of her hand made his ears twitch slightly in surprise, then he closed his eyes for a moment in pure pleasure. “I know, Cat. But with Hawkmoth still out there taking advantage of every difficult emotion, we all need to be more careful. The less anger, hurt, and heartbreak there is, the fewer villains you and Ladybug have to fight.”
“You’re right,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with memory. “I should have thought about that.” He pulled away gently, so as not to seem like she was the cause. He slumped where he sat. He didn’t deserve to be petted. “Some hero I would be if I got akumatized, huh? Then Ladybug would have to fight me too.”
“Is that the real reason for your being out so late? Patrolling helps clear your mind?”
Without looking at her, he nodded. “Your friend isn’t the only one having a hard time, whoever he is.” He paused. “Marinette? There are only two people at your school who haven’t been akumatized. Did you know that?”
“Um, I’m not sure, maybe? There have been so many it is hard to keep track anymore.”
“All your friends and teachers have been akumatized,” he said. “And several of the akuma victims went after you personally: your dad, your grandmother, Glaciator, and Evilistrator. How do you not get caught up in all the dark emotions?”
“There have been a few close calls for me too,” she said, quietly. She looked thoughtful and also sad. “But, thankfully, something or someone always kept it from happening. Once, I was so angry at what another girl said that an akuma would have got me if my teacher hadn’t gotten in the way and saved me.” She sighed. “I’m not perfect, Cat. I’m not sure which is worse.” She turned her head away, too afraid or ashamed to meet his gaze. “Giving into the darkness or causing it.”
“We all say things in the heat of the moment that we regret later. We’re all only human, after all” he said, swiveling onto his knees to look her. He lifted her chin so she would look at him. “But, can you give me anything? What is the reason you among your classmates haven’t been singled out? Something that can -“ His voice choked on the last word and he had to swallow passed the lump in his throat.
Her blue eyes were dark with worry and care. “You have to have something that helps,” he whispered. “…unless you just have My Lady’s own luck.”
She blinked and chuckled again. She seemed to sense he needed reassurance and leaned over and stroked his hair again. “Do you think I would have needed you to bandage my foot if I did?”
He leaned into her touch, trying to still the aching in his head and chest, the stinging in his eyes behind the mask.
“Cat,” she said softly. “You can talk to me if you ever need someone. I know I’m not as good as Ladybug and terribly clumsy, but I’ve been told I’m a good listener. Sometimes, just being able to tell a friend something helps ease the burden a bit.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “Then, Princess, may I rest my head in your lap for a while,” he asked, thickly. “Cause I could really use a friend tonight.”
She smiled and patted her thigh with a shy smile. He slowly crept over to her chair and laid his head in her lap. She stroked his hair for a while in silence and when the tears came, she held him. Words would come later and, somehow, she knew that. She asked no questions, just being there for him.
After a while her hand stilled, nestled between his ears. The cozy, loving, warmth of her home had seeped into the cracks in his broken heart and filled them, for now, with peace. He knew he had to leave, he had to get some sleep and so did she. They both had school and he knew he was already going to make her late. And things would just get worse at home if Nathalie and his bodyguard couldn’t find him in the morning.
“Marinette,” Cat said, softly so as not to startle her. “I need to be going. We both need to get some sleep.”
No response.
He turned slowly and her hand slid off his head to rest gently in her lap. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and deep, her head resting on her shoulder.
“She looks so peaceful,” he thought. “I wish I could just bottle her up and take her with me.” The lucky charm she had given him, a token of confidence and friendship, was always with him. She had made it with her own small, clever hands, and it would have to do.
He gently lifted her out of the chair, tucked her into her loft bed, and turned out the lights.
“Sweet dreams, Marinette,” he whispered as he slipped through the skylight like a shadow and he thought he heard a soft sigh of, “Goodnight, Cat” as he closed it softly behind him.
Once he was home and de-transformed, Adrien pulled the lucky charm she had given him out of his pocket. He held it close until he fell asleep.
But that wasn’t the only thing Marinette had sent home with him for, the next morning, his hair still smelled like almond cookies!
Chapter 2: Cookies and Milk
Notes:
This story should be assumed to take place before the events of MLB Season 4.
Chapter Text
Two nights later, after the school festival was over, Cat Noir found himself drifting towards Marinette’s house again. He didn’t want to wait until Monday to find out how the festival had gone, how much money had been raised, or how many pies Nino had eaten at the pie eating contest.
“Even if I did, she could never get it out without stammering,” he thought with a fond smile.
He still didn’t know what made Marinette so special that she was the only student in their school, aside from himself, who hadn’t been successfully akumatized. Nor had he solved the puzzle of why she could be herself around Cat but acted so nervous around Adrien. Maybe it was these mysteries that drew him back to her balcony that night. Or, maybe, it was because he had been surrounded by people all day who wanted or expected him to be perfect Adrien, the poster boy - literally - for his father’s fashion empire. Maybe he was just lonely. Whatever the reason, he wanted to see his friend tonight.
He glanced in the window on the way by and, sure enough, her light was on. This time he landed lightly on her balcony and knocked on the skylight. A few seconds later, her head popped out of the skylight like a mouse poking its head out of its hole. He smiled at her.
“Hello, M-Marinette,” he said shyly. “Are you too busy f-for a friend?” Why was he stuttering like that?
She smiled and waved for him to come inside. As he slid through the skylight onto her bed, he watched her in appreciation as she went down the stairs from the loft. She was wearing a cherry red, satin dress with a full, knee length skirt that swished around her when she walked. A black lace imperial collar let little glimpses of her smooth, white shoulders peak through before draping loosely over the top of the bodice like a shawl and a pair of matching fingerless gloves adorned her small hands. He was so busy drinking her in that he was startled to realize she was looking at him with a self-conscious blush spreading across her face.
“I’m sorry for staring,” Cat said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I just have never seen you all dressed up before. You look amazing tonight.”
Her blush deepened, but she was able to reply with a soft, “Thank you.” The silence lengthened, but Marinette filled it before it could become uncomfortable. “I just got back from our school’s autumn festival,” she said, flopping onto her chaise and kicking off her red satin flats. “We’ve been raising money for akuma victims so they can get the help they need. It was a long day and then some friends helped me clean things up afterwards.”
Unsure of where he could sit that would let her feel comfortable, he sat on the top of the loft steps, looking down at her. “A worthy goal,” he said. “You always seem to be looking after people, purr-incess. Your classmates, your family, your friends, strangers, and at least one poor alley cat.” He winked at her and she smiled.
“Hasn’t the princess name gone on long enough,” she asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at him.
“But it suits you so purrfectly,” he protested with a smile, but then more seriously, “Not everyone would bring me in out of the cold like you did. Not everyone gives as much as you, except maybe Ladybug. You have the heart of a princess.” That caused her to blush again. Was she so starved for compliments that the truth embarrassed her? Either way, he found himself counting her blushes, collecting and storing them up for later in his mind. She was so cute when she did it.
“Besides,” he said, sliding down the rail of the steps and landing theatrically at her feet. “Tonight you look the part too.” He whipped out the pink rose he had secreted in the back of his tail belt, making it appear before her like magic. “Here you are, my princess. A token of admiration from your humble knight!”
She looked surprised at first and hesitantly reached for the rose as if there must have been a mistake and it wasn’t for her. Then she looked down at it and smiled.
“Thanks, Cat,” she said shyly, twirling it between her fingers. “Its lovely.” Her lips curled up in an ironic smile. “You’re the only one who has ever brought me flowers.” He remembered that awkward brunch with her family where he had had to tell her that he didn’t love her, that he was in love with Ladybug. He had brought her a pink rose then too.
“Hehe, yeah,” he muttered, blushing himself now. “Again, I’m sorry about that.” He gazed again at how beautiful she looked tonight in that red dress and swallowed hard. “I hope I didn’t hurt you too much.”
She sniffed its sweet fragrance and closed her eyes for moment. “Don’t worry. Water under the bridge, Cat.” Returning to herself, she tucked the rose behind her ear and said, “Do you mind if I work while we talk? I haven’t had much time to work on Adrien’s gift since we last spoke and I would like to get the gloves done sooner rather than later.”
He blinked, startled. “A-adrien? Do you mean Adrien Agreste? That boy from your class?”
“Yes,” she replied. “He wanted to help with the festival, but his father ordered him to do an all day photo shoot instead. He doesn’t get much time out with us, his friends I mean, and he was so disappointed. The gloves are to cheer him up, hopefully.”
He couldn’t help but smile at her thoughtfulness. “She can barely get three words out to me, but she wanted to make me a gift to cheer me up?” He marveled that anyone would take such pains for him. “Wow, she is amazing!”
“I’m sure they will, Marinette,” he said gently. “And yes, I wouldn’t want to interrupt your night again. Especially after last time.” She unbuttoned the collar of the shawl and draped it carefully over the edge of the chaise. Then she started trying to unbutton the lace gloves.
He watched her for a moment, then chuckled as she struggled with the buttons, trying to undo them with her teeth.
Rising, he went over to her and took her hands in his. “Here, Princess. May I help?” She looked up at him startled, then nodded at him with wide eyes. He gently unfastened the small black buttons on the gloves, careful not to catch the lace on his claws, then stepped away.
Her cheeks turned as red as her dress and she stared at him as if she could read what was written in his mind. “Maybe she can,” he thought briefly. “She always seems to know what people need to be their best.” But she broke her gaze first.
She took the gloves off and laid them to one side and took up a small basket from beside the chaise.
“So,” he said sitting beside her on the floor and propping his face in his hands. “How did your festival go? Did you raise a lot of money?”
“Oh, it went great!” She pulled out the leather piece and continued her embroidery. “We even went over our goal of how much money to raise.”
“What kind of things did you guys do? I’ve never been to a festival before.” He felt that admission was safe enough.
Her eyes flickered to him briefly before turning back to her work. “Well, we had a bunch of booths with different activities and things for people to buy. Our art class has been working hard to create some really nice things like sculptures and paintings. Nathaniel had a space set up so he could draw sketches of people too. He is such an amazing artist and this was good exposure for him.”
She stopped briefly to snip her ribbon and thread more onto her needle. He was fascinated to watch her work. While she was talking, her hands moved with such precision and purpose. He once again felt that sense of domesticity that his own life lacked. He soaked it up, letting it soothe his heart and mind.
“Did your family help out? The most famous bakery in Paris would have been quite a draw.”
“Hmm, yeah. They donated quite a bit and I made cookies, croissants, and macaroons. I was manning that booth. Oh, and a bunch of us got together and made pies for the pie eating contest.” She gigged. “Nino hadn’t eaten since yesterday so he would be ready, but Rose beat him by a whole pie!”
Cat’s eyes widened in surprise and he laughed with her. “Rose? But she is so tiny!”
“I know, right?”
Just at that moment, his stomach growled loudly. He hadn’t eaten anything since that light lunch during the photo shoot. Their eyes met briefly and they both laughed again.
“Let me go get you something,” she offered, setting her work down.
“Uh, only if it isn’t too much bother.”
“No bother at all. I’m hungry too.’’
As she disappeared through the trap door, he marveled again at how kind and thoughtful she was. Always encouraging her friends and classmates, helping strangers by organizing the festival, making gloves for him - well, Adrien - just to try to cheer him up.
She was just as much a part of the peace of her home as the pink walls and photos. Cat glanced around, looking at pictures of her family and their friends and noticed how many photos she had of him all over the place.
“Well, she did say she was really into fashion,” he thought and that did explain all the magazine cuttings and promo shots on her board. And Manon had been right. There were a lot of hearts drawn on them. However, there were several shots that were more casual: their class photo, a selfie of the two of them with Alya and Nino, a shot of him giving a presentation in front of their class. The last two were in frames on her desk and a strange thought occurred to him.
He picked up the picture frame that showed him by himself. “Does Marinette have a crush on me? Well, Adrien, but still me?” That might explain her awkwardness, the stuttering, the embarrassed blushes and babbling. Is that how she had been able to get over Cat Noir telling her he didn’t love her so quickly? She had fallen for his civilian self instead?
A warm tingling started in his chest tinged only slightly with regret. Marinette was so sweet, but there was no way she could know that both of the boys she had set her heart on were the same person and both in love with Ladybug.
“Still, if it wasn’t for Ladybug…”
At that moment the trap door opened and Marinette came up with a tray. Cat felt nervous all of the sudden, blushing so hard it hurt. He felt like a cat caught going after a goldfish.
She stopped when she saw him holding the picture of Adrien and she blushed too. He hastily put the picture down and took the tray from her, hoping his own blushes were hidden under his mask.
“S-sorry,” he stammered. “I hope you don’t think I was prying into anything private, but, hehe, you know what they say about curiosity and cats.”
She tucked one arm behind her back and self-consciously brushed a strand of hair behind one ear. “Yeah, well, I guess its ok. We are friends, right?”
He smiled. “Of course.” He looked down at the tray in his hands. Two glasses of milk, two sandwiches, and a plate of cookies lay there.
She sat down on the chaise and patted the space beside her. “Want to share dinner with a friend,” she asked, tentatively.
He sat down with the tray between them. As they ate their sandwiches in silence, he couldn’t help but feel something had gone subtly wrong. He swallowed the last bite hard, his mouth suddenly dry.
“Marinette,” he asked, looking down at her bare feet. “Are you in love with Adrien? I-is that how you got over me?”
“I-I guess you could say that.” From out of the corner of his eye, he could see she didn’t look at him either. “He is so kind, sweet, humble, and gentle. When I’m around him my brain just shuts off and I find myself stammering and saying the craziest things. I tumble over my words as much as I tumble over my own feet. But he doesn’t seem to mind my clumsiness or my stuttering. He understands me anyway.”
Cat’s heart had started pounding in his chest. He felt he was about to stick his foot in his mouth, but he had to ask. He had to know.
“Are you sure you aren’t just seeing what you want to see? In Adrien, I mean? He is a model and they are trained in how to look and act the way people want to see them.” He glanced up and saw her staring at him with confusion in her eyes. “I wouldn’t want my best friend to fall in love with a fantasy and not what is real.”
She considered that. “I don’t think so. You see, I didn’t like him at first. I thought he must be some pompous, rich, jerk who reveled in being famous and would lord it over the rest of us. Probably because that is how Chloe acts and I heard he was her friend before I met him.” Here her eyes started shining with what could only be love. “But I had misjudged him. He was so open and vulnerable with me about how he had never really made friends before. He even gave me his umbrella so I wouldn’t have to walk home in the rain. He really is kind and gentle and selfless and brave and…” Here her voice stopped.
“Handsome,“ he supplied, taking the most obvious answer.
She giggled slightly. “Well, yes. But I was going to say that I think he is very lonely.” She blinked and looked at him. Then she grabbed her glass of milk and took a big swallow. “Hehe. Silly of me! Thinking that if he knew he was loved it would make everything better, huh?”
Cat smiled at her as a lump formed in his throat at her sweet, heartfelt words. He took a large swallow of milk himself to dispel it and collect his thoughts.
He reached across the tray and placed his hand over hers in her lap. “Not silly at all, Princess,” he said quietly. “I’m sure you’re right. He is lonely.”
He looked up shyly at her face and was arrested by the sight of a streak of white on her upper lip. With a smile and a chuckle, he gently wiped it away with his thumb, cupping her face with his hand as he did so. He heard her breath catch in her throat and her eyes were wide with confusion once again. Then she smiled and wiped away a similar milk streak from his own lip.
“It is probably useless though,” she said with a sigh. “He just thinks of me as a friend. He told me he was in love with another girl.” She rubbed at her eyes with the heels of her palms, probably trying to wipe away tears. “I just hope she loves him as much as I do. He is probably out of my reach anyway.”
He rubbed his neck, embarrassed. He felt like he had tricked these confessions out of her by not letting her know he was Adrien under the mask. But she felt so much more comfortable around Cat Noir and she had told him all of that on her own. He wished she would have the courage to tell him as Adrien that she loved him, but that seemed unlikely. And Ladybug’ s rules about keeping their civilian identities secret reminded him that it was for Marinette’s safety as well as his own.
“I might be sticking my cat nose where it doesn’t belong, but a piece of advice?” He looked at her with a grateful smile. “Adrien has his faults too. Don’t think he is any better than you or that you don’t deserve him.” He sighed himself, slumped sadly, and looked away. “He is the one who doesn’t deserve you.”
After a moment of thoughtful silence, she spoke again. “Cat?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you ever lonely?” She spoke it softly, so he could ignore it if he wished, but there was a concerned and wistful note in her voice.
He straightened, startled by her perceptive question. He smiled lopsidedly. “Not when I’m with you, Purrrr-incess!”
She giggled, the concern running away and leaving her eyes dancing with fun and friendship. She took a cookie from the plate and threw it at him. “Here, eat that so we can both stop moping!” He tossed a cookie back at her with a grin.
When the cookies were gone, she took up her work again and he sat beside her on the floor, leaning against the side of her chaise. He laughed and listened as she told about him about the festival, her friends, and her dreams of being a fashion designer.
He even opened up a little about his home life, keeping names and details out of it. He didn’t want her to start comparing Cat Noir to Adrien, but he spoke of how he didn’t really have much of a family life and even some of his fears about letting down Ladybug. She listened as she worked and when she had finished the embroidery on the first leather piece, he was amazed again at her precision and attention to detail.
After a while, she stood, stretched, and yawned mightily. “I’m sorry, Cat,” she said sheepishly, ruffling his hair. “I got up really early and I am so tired.” He felt disappointment rising in him, but her sweet smile dispelled it when she said, “If you have time, you can come back tomorrow?”
He couldn’t help the big grin that spread across his face as it was posed like a question. He rose, took her hand, and bowed low over it. Maybe he had gone too far again, mistaking the peace and comfort he felt with her as similar to his feeling for Ladybug, but his heart was pounding too loudly with her kindness to protest too much.
“As my Princess wishes,” he said. They stared at each other for a moment, green eyes into blue.
She gave him a hug then and he was afraid she could hear his heart pounding loudly against his ribs. He caught his breath as his sensitive nose flooded him with the scents of almond cookies, lavender, and a pink rose.
“My friends are like my family, Cat,” she said softly, “and family is always welcome.”
“Thank you, Marinette,” he whispered. He tore himself away then, leaping to her loft bed and opening the skylight. “I’ll come by tomorrow, after I patrol with Ladybug.” He blew her a kiss before he leapt off into the night.
Chapter 3: The Black Cat's Curse
Chapter Text
Cat Noir did return the next night. And two nights later after patrols. Soon, rarely did more than forty-eight hours go by without his swooping down in the night like a shadow to talk to Marinette, even if just for a few minutes. She was his Marinette then, his princess in her attic tower, always ready to welcome him with smiles, hugs, cookies, and talk. They would talk about anything and everything. Sometimes they played video games which she always won. Sometimes they would just sit in companionable silence while she worked on her projects or did her homework. He had watched in awe as the gloves were embroidered and cut, the lining carefully chosen to match and be soft and warm. It was becoming an addiction, to escape from his lonely room and fly to her little nest like a bird. That was where he felt the most peace. The most at home he had felt since his mother had disappeared.
So much so that Cat had trouble adjusting to Marinette’s regular behavior toward him as Adrien in school. He had caught himself several times this last week turning around to tell her something funny or share a good grade when he was brought up short by her nervous blushes and stammering. Nino had also caught him staring at her a few times and had started teasing him about having a crush on their pretty classmate.
“Do I,” he wondered as he leapt from roof top to roof top on his way to her balcony that evening. “I still love Ladybug, but Marinette is so…so…” His mind whirled so much that he stopped on the roof of the school, staring at her house across the street.
“Am I trying to make Marinette seem like Ladybug because she won’t reject me?” His mind continued to race as his heart pounded a loud negative in his chest. Not that he could tell her he was Adrien, but they had shared so many other secrets that it felt like she might be feeling something more for him than just the friendship he had originally craved. She wasn’t Ladybug, but…
“Would it be so bad if I have fallen for her,” he wondered. His sense of loyalty and love for Ladybug warred with the myriad of feelings for Marinette that engulfed him like a wave. “Ladybug has made it clear there can never be anything between us. She has even encouraged me to look for someone else. Surely, she can’t take offense at me taking her advice.”
Just then, he saw a flicker of light on Marinette’s balcony, as if the skylight had opened briefly and his cat’s ears caught the sounds of muffled sobs on the chill evening breeze. Without thinking, he vaulted over and landed lightly on the railing.
“Marinette,” he whispered. A shadow in the lounge chair curled tighter in on itself and he heard a sniff.
“Are you okay, Marinette? Has something happened? Are you hurt?” He leapt down beside her and reached out tentative hands to hold her. She was shaking with sobs and tears streamed down her face. “If something is wrong, I will make it right for you. I promise.”
What could have caused his cheerful, sunny, sweet Marinette to seek the comfort of tears out in the cold darkness? A hot anger started burning in his chest and he had to fight to suppress the growl that rose in his throat. His muscles stiffened, ready to tear and rend, to use his Cataclysm on anyone who would dare to cause his princess so much pain! “If someone has hurt you, give me their name. I’ll take care of them.”
She must have been surprised at the deadly earnestness with which he had said those last words, for she suddenly rolled over and threw her arms around his waist. “No, Cat,” she whispered through a throat thick with sobs. “Its not like that, please. I-I’ve just been holding it in for so long.”
At her touch and words, the anger started to recede leaving only worry in its wake. He sat down on the lounge chair and put his arm around her. “Then what has made my princess so sad?”
She swiveled around until her head was in his lap, just like he had laid on hers a few weeks before. He could feel the burning splash of tears through his suit, but that was nothing. Whatever this secret sorrow was it had struck his sweet princess to the heart. With gentle fingers, he released her hair from its pigtails and let it pool around her face and shoulders. He stroked its silky strands much as she had stroked his own hair. “Tell me what is wrong, Marinette. Let me help you for once.”
Her sobs slowly stilled under his gentle hand.
“Its Adrien,” she said with a sniff. “He has started acting so strange. He’ll start trying to talk to me and then turn away. I don’t know what I did wrong. Or maybe he finally figured out I love him and is disgusted by me. Oh, Cat, what did I do wrong? What am I going to do?”
His hand stilled on her hair in shock. He was responsible for these heartrending tears? His feeble attempts to equalize his relationship with Marinette in his civilian life had backfired for both of them, leading to this mess. He cursed himself as ten times an idiot for not realizing she would have noticed his behavior change towards her.
“Oh, princess, I am so sorry,” he said softly, caressing her hair once more. “It wasn’t you. You are the best friend anyone could have. You are sweet and kind, beautiful, thoughtful, clever, brave, talented and compassionate. Anyone in their right mind would fall in love with you. And if I-Adrien can’t see that, then he doesn’t deserve you.” He hoped she didn’t realize the slip-up or the bitterness in his tone.
She sat up slowly, wiping tears from her face with the back of her hand, but not looking up at him. “Do you really think so,” she whispered down into her lap.
Cat took her shoulders gently. “I know so.” With one hand he lifted her chin so she was looking at him, the tears glistening on her cheeks in the moonlight. How had he missed all of this? How had he missed her? “Adrien is a fool if he can’t see everything you are and how much you give to him everyday.”
Her eyes widened at his words.. “How do you know that?”
His mind raced, trying to figure out what to say that wouldn’t reveal his identity, but she didn’t give him the chance.
“You’ve been keeping an eye on me?”
“As much as I can between school, home stuff, and patrolling for trouble,“ he said, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to hers, hoping she could feel the sincerity in his voice. “After all, I can’t let anything happen to my princess.”
He heard her sudden intake of breath. “Your princess?”
“Yes.” He was trembling now, but not from the cold. She was so close and the scent of almond cookies and lavender wafted around her like a sunset fog. She was his friend. She was his safe place, his home. She was his princess. “Marinette, I…I…“
He leaned forward and kissed her. She stiffened for a moment, then relaxed into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissed him back. His eyes closed as he reveled in the kiss. Her lips were soft and sweet, spiked by the salt of her tears. Her chilled fingers curled into the hair at the back of his neck, making him shiver in delight and setting him purring. He pulled her closer, never wanting to let her go. Her touch was like electricity, sparking along his nerves and leaving small fires in its wake. Her hair was silky and cool against his face. The scents of cookies and lavender were sure to haunt him for the rest of his days.
Suddenly it hit him like a thunder clap! “This is my fault!” He was Adrien. She was crying because Adrien had changed and she thought he hated her. Was this fair to Marinette, for him to break her heart as Adrien then romance her as Cat Noir? If she ever found out, she would hate him - both of him!
He pulled away from the sweetness of the kiss, ashamed of himself, taking her hands off his neck.
“I-I’m sorry, Marinette,” he choked out, too embarrassed to open his eyes lest he see her. “Th-that wasn’t appropriate at all. I s-shouldn’t have done that.” She was still so close. His heart was pounding and his arms ached to pull her back to him. He tried to fix his mind on Ladybug and his love for her, but all he could see was Marinette’s eyes glowing like sapphires in the moonlight. All he could think about was the warmth of her in his arms, the smell of lavender and cookies in her hair, and the peace she brought him with her laugh, her smile, and her companionship. He couldn’t lose her, but how, oh how, could he ever make this right?
“I-I’m sorry,” he said again. “I got caught up in the moment and took advantage of the situation. You were so beautiful and sad. It just happened. It won’t happen again.” Then, in a much smaller voice, “Please, please don’t hate me.”
Cat suddenly felt a cool hand caress his face. He fought the urge to melt at her touch and start purring again. He had almost won this internal battle when he felt her lips brush his again. It was nothing like the kiss before, simple and sweet and far shorter than he wanted, but it set every nerve atingle and his eyes popped open in surprise.
Marinette leaned back, her eyes shining. “I could never hate you, silly Cat,” she said, shaking her head. “Didn’t you realize I kissed you back?”
His hand touched his lips in an unconscious gesture, tracing the place where she had kissed him. He tore his eyes away from hers, looking anywhere but at her beautiful eyes. “Still, here you were crying over the boy you l-love and I had to…to…“ He slammed his fists onto his thighs in disgust with himself.
“You were only trying to make me feel better,” she said kindly, putting her arm around his shoulders. He didn’t edge away from her, but his guilt warred against his urge to scoop her into his arms and taste her sweet lips once more. “I didn’t mind it, you know.”
“Please, Marinette, just forget about what happened,” he begged, even as his heart screamed that it was a lie. He leapt up and all but ran to the balcony railing, anything to fight off the temptation to hold her again. “Forget about it. Pretend it didn’t mean anything.”
From behind him in the dark, he heard her gasp. “C-cat, does that m-mean that it… that you…“
“Its too late,” he groaned, tears forming in his own eyes, now. “You are in love with him.”
“Oh, Cat,” she sighed, putting a tentative hand on his arm.
With his stomach roiling with anger and guilt, his lips aching to kiss her, he leapt up onto the railing. “Black cats are always cursed. I don’t deserve to be your knight, Princess.”
Extending his baton, he vaulted off into the cold autumn night. He pounded across the roofs and though the sounds of his footsteps and the city drowned out her voice calling to him in the dark, it was unable to dispel the memory of her lips on his or the scent of cookies from his nose.
Chapter 4: Despair
Notes:
Trigger Warning:
This chapter does discuss the emotional symptoms of depression and anxiety and the toll it can take on a person. The symptoms included here are not a comprehensive list, but rather a general overview. If you are suffering from depression or anxiety, please reach out to someone you trust. Like Adrien, you don't have to go through this alone.
Chapter Text
Spending time with Marinette had become his addiction and, like with any addiction, the withdrawal caused Adrien pain. He stayed away from her both as Cat Noir and as Adrien at school. He struggled to keep his eyes off her as they walked into class, but his chest and arms ached with longing knowing she was sitting right behind him. He avoided her house when on patrols. He lay awake night after night thinking of her, her silky dark hair, her gorgeous sapphire eyes, the sound of her laugh, the way she had clung to him during that forbidden kiss, the peace she gave him as a gift. Both his father and Nathalie reprimanded him about the dark shadows under his eyes and he got in trouble a few times in class for falling asleep, but he no longer cared. Their disapproval was nothing new and was better than the nightmares.
When he did sleep, Marinette haunted him. Sometimes she was akumatized and he and Ladybug had to fight her while she poured out venom on him for breaking her heart. At others, it was Ladybug chewing him out for putting a civilian at risk and demanding his miraculous back. In still others, he had to choose between saving Marinette or Ladybug, but no matter what choice he made they all ended with a shadowy Hawkmoth standing over the lifeless body of Ladybug, only for it to turn into Marinette lying bleeding and broken as he held her and cried.
Plagg had tried to help, but it quickly became clear there was nothing he could do and the kwami settled for just being near his chosen when not transformed. Adrien didn’t talk to him much, but he didn’t have the heart to take the ring off - since that would cut him off from his last source of freedom and, thus, with Marinette.
Two weeks later, he was tossing and turning in his bed too tired to think straight and too afraid of the dreams to let himself sleep. Marinette waited for him in the dark behind his eyelids.
“Does she hate me now,“ he wondered. “Both Adrien and Cat Noir?” No, she was too good for that, but both sides of him had undoubtedly lost the peace, friendship, and love that she represented and he only now realized was so precious to both sides of his character. The thought of the loss of his first true friend was a blow to his heart that only grew when he added to it his growing love for Marinette. “If I could only tell her I’m Cat Noir. If I could, then I could explain everything and maybe she would understand.”
But no. Ladybug had these rules for a reason. They weren’t to reveal their identities to anyone, because that would put them and everyone who knew them at risk. The thought of Ladybug being captured because of it hurt almost as much as the thought of Hawkmoth getting his hands on his princess - no, Marinette. He was no longer her knight. He shouldn’t call her that anymore.
Maybe he never had the right to.
Throwing off his blankets, he transformed and launched himself into the night. The tears he had been holding in for so long blinded him as he ran the rooftops unsure of where he was going. The cold wind cut through his lungs like knives and the chill autumn rain froze him to his marrow. His loneliness, longing, and confusion threatened to silence his heartbeat that pulsed to her name.
His headlong rush was halted when his foot slipped on a loose shingle and he slid, flailing, into a chimney. He lay there on the roof, bruised and gasping for breath, the freezing rain mingling with the tears in his eyes When he could finally rise to take a look at where he was, he gasped.
He had just been running away. Running away from himself, from the nightmares, from his memories of Marinette, from the loneliness of his father’s house and all that was expected of him. He had just been running away, but his feet had brought him back to the only place of solace that he knew.
Through the rain and the dark, he saw that he was perched across the street from the Dupain Cheng Bakery and the light in the attic was on.
Oh, how he longed to go to her. To lay his heart before her and have her help him make it right. To cry in her lap and beg for her to forgive him, all of him, and let him have a place in her life.
“Marinette,” he sobbed. “P-princess. Help me!”
Chat Noir collapsed on the roof, curling his knees to his chest and sobbed his despair out into the night.
He was too heartbroken to hear the soft flap of wings, but the thud of feet beside him and a loud hiss-click brought him to high alert. A shadowy figure stood in front of him, its back to him. He watched as its arms came up and a bright white light appeared. A soft, achingly familiar voice whispered, “Goodbye, little butterfly,” and he knew.
Ladybug had saved him from an akuma. He was within inches of losing himself, her, and everything to Hawkmoth and his lady had saved him.
He did not remember standing up, but he found himself on his feet and staggered towards her. She turned just in time to catch him as he collapsed again.
“Oh, my poor kitty,” she whispered, holding him close as he sobbed. “Its okay. Everything is going to be okay.”
Ladybug lifted him in her arms and carried him, how far or for how long he wasn’t sure, until they entered a bright, open space with the noise of many people. Cat could hear Ladybug’s voice giving orders and people rushing around, but it made no sense to him. The world swam around him and he was so cold and tired. All he wanted to do was curl up somewhere like the alley cat he was and sleep. He lay in Ladybug’s arms, too weak and lost to do more than cling to her neck.
Then he felt her carry him into a dark, quiet space and lay him on something soft. She covered him with blankets and placed several warm things against his sides. Slowly the cold eased from his body and he began to feel more aware of what was going on around him.
“My Lady,” he whispered.
“Shhh, its ok, Cat Noir,” she said softly.
Gently she tipped his head up and helped him drink something hot and sweet. “Drink it all. It will help you sleep.”
“B-but, I failed you,” he moaned.
“Not at all, sweet kitty,” she said, placing the smallest of kisses on his forehead. “We’ll talk about it later and, together, we can make it right, but for now you need to sleep.”
He grabbed her wrist firmly. “Please,” he begged. “Please don’t leave me alone.”
Without pulling her hand away, she sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll watch over you until you wake. Just rest.”
As Adrien closed his eyes, he knew he was finally safe. He trusted Ladybug and he knew she would take care of him.
“But she isn’t my princess,” he thought with that raw, bitter ache in his chest. Even Ladybug didn’t feel like home anymore.
He turned over on his pillow and cried himself to sleep.
Chapter 5: She's My Home
Notes:
The previous chapter did discuss depression. For story reasons, I streamlined Cat/Adrien's recovery process. However, in real life, these things take time. Don't assume that one talk or a quick fix is normal. Reach out to someone you trust if you are struggling.
Chapter Text
The first thing Adrien was aware of was the purring of a tiny form against his face.
“That must be Plagg,” he thought and was about to roll over and go back to sleep when he remembered what had happened the night before. Ladybug had saved him, had taken him somewhere he would be safe and out of the cold. She had promised to stay with him until he woke up.
Ladybug was still here. And he was de-transformed!
He shot bolt upright in the strange bed, eyes wide. He was in a sumptuously appointed room. A whole wall of windows looked out over the Seine with the Eiffel Tower glowing in the distance. It was still nighttime and a familiar form stood between him and the window looking out at the lights of Paris beyond.
“Ladybug,” he whispered.
“Don’t worry. I haven’t seen anything,” she said, still facing away. “Your kwami just needed some food and rest too after everything you had been through. When you are ready, you can transform and then we can talk.
“Plagg,” he whispered, “Claws out.” With the transformation complete, he rose from the bed and came over to her to look out the window as well. “Where are we?”
“Le Grand Paris Hotel,” she murmured. “With as many times as we have saved the city and his own family, the Mayor was willing to give me whatever I asked for. And before you can ask, don’t worry about publicity. I have taken care of it. There will be no record of us staying here.”
“You always think of everything, LB,” he said with a sigh. “Whereas I must have the Black Cat’s curse on me with the way I have messed things up.”
With gentle hands, she lead him to one of the couches and settled him down. She disappeared for a few minutes, then returned with two mugs of hot chocolate. Sitting down across from him in the dark, she leaned back in her chair with a sigh.
“First things first,” she said. She took out her yoyo and opened it. From out of the white light came three butterflies. He watched their pale wings flutter around the room for a moment until they found the open balcony door and flew off into the dark.
“So, what’s been going on, partner,” she asked with a worried tone in her voice. “I’ve never seen Hawkmoth go after someone the way he has gone after you tonight. It must be something pretty ….” Her voice trailed off.
His throat was dry. But he had to talk to someone and who could he trust if not Ladybug?
He stared at the mug in his hands. “I’ve crossed a line, Ladybug. One I should never have crossed.” And with that he told her everything: how he had started visiting Marinette as Cat Noir because his home life was so horrible, how they had laughed and shared secrets, how they had grown closer, how he had found her crying, how he had fallen into temptation and kissed her when she was sad, how horrible he had felt when he thought he had betrayed her, Ladybug, and the guilt and longing when he thought Marinette must surely hate him. He told her about the nightmares and how conflicted he was between his love and duty to her, his partner, and his growing love for his sweet, clumsy, so easily embarrassed friend. The two things he left out, and they were large ones, was Marinette’s love for his civilian self and the fact that they were classmates. That might have made the situation clearer, but the one was not his secret to give and the other he was sure Ladybug didn’t want to know.
After there were no more words, he felt hollow inside and gulped down the hot chocolate that had cooled as he had talked. It gave him something to do, to hold on to, while those bluebell eyes took it all in.
Ladybug was quiet for a while and her silence weighed heavily on him. “Please,” he whispered, just as he had to Marinette that last night. “Please don’t hate me.”
“Oh Cat,” she said in such comforting tones. “Thank you for telling me all of this, but did you really think I didn’t keep an eye out for my partner?”
He looked up, shock, guilt, and embarrassment making him feel slightly sick. “I-I never thought… I didn’t… I mean-“
“Its okay, Kitty. I keep an eye on my friends.” She smiled a rather ironic smile. “Marinette too, for that matter. I did trust her with the mouse miraculous that one time after all.”
He had forgotten about that.
“Oh, what should I do,” he wailed. “Marinette must hate me now. Even if she didn’t over the kiss, she must think I have just abandoned our friendship. She means so much to me, Ladybug.” His breath caught in his throat as tears burned his eyes again. “I don’t want to lose her.” He slumped, resting his forehead on the rim of the mug in his hands. “She’s my home,” he whispered from the depths of his heart.
He heard a sharp intake of breath, then she wrapped him in a sudden hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, afraid to let go of what felt like his last link to anything kind, wholesome, and good in the world. He could feel her sobbing gently into his shoulder.
Ladybug crying? Over him?
But before he could process that fact, she pulled away with a bright smile and flushed cheeks. She ruffled his hair fondly. “Then go home, Cat.”
He stared at her, at first not understanding the meaning of her words. Then he shrunk in on himself. “Is that really the best idea? Wouldn’t I be putting her at further risk?”
She paused as she stood, fiddling with her yoyo. “Everyone needs a home, whether it is a place or a person.” She glanced at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright behind her mask. “And this time, I have the feeling that Marinette is the one with the charm that can set things right.”
She headed to the balcony doors, but turned back to wave at him. “Be careful, Cat Noir, but you can trust her.”
As she whipped off into the pearly grey light that heralds the dawn, he felt a sudden spark of hope in his chest. This was Ladybug’s true power. To turn darkness into light, despair into hope, and failure into love. No lucky charm required. She had forgiven him and she was telling him to return to Marinette, his love, his home. Ladybug believed in her and trusted her, just like she believed and trusted him.
He needed to return to his house for school. And after that, he would go home.
Home to Marinette.
Chapter 6: Rose Wrapped Round the Briar
Notes:
The title of this chapter comes from The Ballad of Barbara Allen.
Chapter Text
Adrien made it through his first two classes with only the weird mix of longing and fear that gnawed at him when Marinette walked into the room, even later than usual - if that’s possible. She yawned and then, when she saw him looking at her, gave him a tentative wave as she walked to her seat. He felt himself flush a bright red all the way to his ears. She stopped and blinked at his blushing, then blushed herself when he caught her staring. With a sad sigh, she sat down behind him.
It was agony to be so close and yet so far away. “Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,” he groaned inwardly. Oh, camembert! His heart was pounding like a drum just at the thought of her sitting behind him. How was he going to get through the school day? At this point, he was just as likely to run away as he was to fall at her feet and declare his undying love for her as his civilian self. “Wouldn’t that be a buzz on social media,” he though wryly, almost relishing the thought of the sensation it would make before he remembered that his father would probably put the kibosh on the whole thing and hurt Marinette even worse.
He sighed. “Snap out of it, Agreste,” he fumed. “Just half an hour until lunch. You can get away from her for a while and cool down. Maybe take a quick cold shower.” Anything to cool the blushes on his face, neck, and ears. He pitied Marinette that she blushed so easily all the time if it felt this uncomfortable.
Soon, but not soon enough for a boy watching the seconds, the lunch bell rang. He was the first out of his seat, scrambling to put his stuff back in his bag and be out the door before he could set eyes on Marinette again.
He had made it down the stairs and almost out of the courtyard when he heard a tentative voice call his name. As if he wouldn’t know that voice anywhere. If it was possible for his heart to both leap and sink at the sound of Marinette’s voice, it would have. Instead, he felt a sudden nervous queasiness and found it hard to breathe.
He did his best to steady himself before he turned to face her. “M-Marinette?”
She took a deep breath, clearly as embarrassed as he was, and said quietly, “I-I know something has b-been up with you lately that has made you sad. I-I don’t know what it is a-and you d-don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…..” Her voice trailed off. She bent down in an awkward bow and thrust a smallish, flat box towards him. “This is for you.”
Adrien was surprised. This was the first time she had said so much to his face without stuttering! Well, at least not much. He realized she was waiting in that strange position and took the package from her. It was wrapped in blue paper and tied with a pink silk ribbon. Somehow, that stirred something in his memory. The special scarf his father had given him for his birthday - or rather, that Nathalie said was from his father - had been wrapped just like this. It was too much of a coincidence.
Later. Time for that later.
“Th-thank you, Marinette,” he whispered, not trusting his voice. “D-do you want me to open it now?”
She popped back up like one of those dipping bird toys, a pink blush suffusing her face. “I-if you want to.”
He untied the ribbon and stuck it in his coat pocket. Then tearing off the paper, he opened the box.
The gloves! The gloves that he, as Cat Noir, had watched her make and talked over and laughed over, were finished. The box and the paper fell to the ground unheeded as he took up the gloves in awe. The thorny vine design was perfect! Each silken stitch shone, black on black, in the bright autumn sunlight. As he started putting them on, and, oh, the plush inside was so soft and warm, he saw something he hadn’t noticed before. On the inside of the wrists, where they would be easily hidden by his coat sleeves, were embroidered two small red roses. The black thorn stitching wrapped around and through them in an elaborate celtic knot all the size of a blueberry. How had she done this? When? It wasn’t in her original designs.
“A-adrien,” she whispered. “I just want you to know that I-I…”
He couldn’t help himself. He threw his arms around her, holding her so tight that he was sure he was leaving bruises, but he was afraid of letting her go. “Oh, Marinette,” he sighed as tears of happiness and love fell unheeded from his eyes. “I am so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.”
She had stiffened and gasped in shock when he had first embraced her, but now she hugged him back. “Its okay, Adrien,” she said. “I’ll always be here for you.” Not a stutter and she was the first to break the embrace.
He stared at her, rubbing his face with his hands to erase the tears. She smiled up at him and stood on tiptoe to kiss him lightly on the cheek. “Well,” she said rather breathlessly. “See you after lunch?”
“Yeah,” he said, catching her hand as she turned to go. She stared back at him, eyes wide. As gently as he could, for the scent of cookies and lavender was intoxicating, he pressed his lips to her knuckles. He heard her sharp intake of breath and he let her go. “See you later.”
She stood, blinking at him with strange emotions warring in her sapphire eyes, then she turned and, tripping over her own feet, staggered, flailing arms akimbo, back into the courtyard.
He couldn’t help but laugh. He laughed not at her clumsiness, which was endearing, but at his own good fortune that she was not angry with him. “Well, not with Adrien at any rate.”
With that sobering thought, he went to lunch. Cat Noir would visit his princess this evening and, hopefully, she could forgive both sides of him.
Chapter Text
This was it. Cat Noir was going to see his Marinette. He was so excited after she had given him - well, Adrien - her gift that he had sailed through the rest of the day in a rosy dream. He wasn’t sure, but he might have forgotten to take notes during physics class and spent the whole time drawing doodles of him and Marinette. He did know that he must have been grinning like a fool, for Nino took him aside between classes to ask him if he had just found out he had won the lottery. In a way he had.
Marinette didn’t hate him. She still wanted to be his friend, so even if she wouldn’t see him as Cat Noir anymore he still had her in his life. Oh, how that thought stabbed at him, but at least he wouldn’t lose her completely. He had hope. Hope felt so good after the loneliness and despair of the last two weeks.
But, by the time he got home, all of his anxiety had returned. What if she wouldn’t let him in? What if she had thought better of that kiss? True, she said she had kissed him back, but the way he left things couldn’t have left a very good impression.
Oh, camembert! Just the thought of that kiss set his heart throbbing! How was he going to be able to tell her everything he needed to with her staring at him with those sapphire eyes and those sweet lips turned down in concern? And that cookie and lavender smell that made him tingle and want to do crazy things to impress her? Ahh, he was doomed!
“Man up, Agreste,” he berated himself as he rather frantically played foosball with no real intention of scoring goals. “You will just have to exert all of your self control. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you can not kiss her while apologizing for kissing her.”
“Like that worked out so well last time,” Plagg said, gobbling cheese from the mini fridge. Oops! He hadn’t realized he was talking out loud.
“Shut up, Plagg, he said, dejected. He knew what Plagg had done for him while he was wrestling with his own darkness and he was grateful, but his kwami had all the tact of a charging elephant.
“Hey, don’t worry about it, kid,” the kwami said around a mouthful that was probably the size of his head. “Marinette is not the type of person to hold it against you. She did kiss you back after all. And besides, she is in love with you as Adrien anyway, right?”
“Right,” he mumbled.
Leaving the little figures spinning wildly on their pegs, he started pacing. Again. He could handle screaming fans, reporters, press photographers, and akuma monsters and barely break a sweat, but to go confess to a girl that he was in love with her? He was petrified! He wished Ladybug could go with him to smooth things over, but he knew what she would say. “That this is something I have to figure out on my own.”
He sighed. He couldn’t stand it any longer. Transformed, Cat leapt out of the window into the chilly night.
His heart pounded as he got closer and closer to the bakery. Would she reject him? Would she forgive him? Might she even let him kiss her one more time? No, best not to think of that. That would be too much to hope for.
The bakery was as warm and inviting as ever and the light in her attic was shining like a lighthouse to his weary soul. He landed lightly on her balcony and tapped on the skylight.
No answer.
He tapped again. Silence. Ever so carefully, he opened the skylight and crept inside. What he saw made him swallow hard and his self control wavered dangerously.
Marinette was asleep on the chaise, her hair up in twin buns. She wore the cherry red dress she had worn on the night of the festival, but without the shawl collar. The smooth pale skin of her neck and shoulders glowed in the warm light and he ached to hold her. Her delicate hands were tucked under her head propped up on the arm of the chaise, a pencil and her drawing book had fallen to the floor.
Cat stood, dumbfounded, in the middle of her room. He had been prepared for anger, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, sadness, and hurt - and to be honest, he expected them - but to arrive to this? This sweet scene of peace and innocence completely robbed him of words. She had probably stayed up too late the night before finishing those gloves for him. “No wonder she was late this morning.” He had no idea how long he stood, simply staring at her, until he managed to collect himself.
“Don’t just stand there like a stalker. Do something!”
“Marinette,” he whispered. “Marinette, could you please wake up?”
She stirred and opened her jewel-like eyes and blinked at him for a moment, not really taking in his presence in her room. Then she blinked again and, suddenly, she was up off the chaise and hugging him fiercely.
“Oh, I am so glad you are okay, Cat,” she cried, tears streaming down her face. She buried her face in his chest, surprising him with her strength. His heart leapt for joy and he reveled for a few moments in the feeling of their arms around each other. Then she pulled away and, grabbing him by the shoulders, proceed to shake him angrily. “Don’t you ever, EVER make me worry like that again!”
He couldn’t help but laugh nervously, partly from a sense of relief and partly from the scene she made standing a head shorter than himself, shaking one of the heroes of Paris so angrily while tears of joy still ran down her face. She stared at him, so many emotions flickering across her face he couldn’t recognize them all, then she laughed too.
“I’ll do my best,” he said after the laughter subsided. He took her hand and stepped back to admire her. “Going somewhere special tonight?”
She blushed a little and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Waiting for someone special.”
For a moment, his heart sank. “Are you expecting Adrien to come?”
She looked at him, confused for a second, then shook her head. “No, I was waiting for you.”
Camembert, she was something else! Did she know she was bouncing his heart around like Ladybug’s yoyo? No, probably not. “How did you know I would come?”
“Ladybug may have left a message that you were going to come over,” she said, both hands now clasped behind her back in one of her nervous gestures.
“So, you got all dressed up… for me?” Normally, as Cat Noir, he would have preened and postured, but tonight was too important, she was too important, for such nonsense. “When you didn’t know for sure I was coming?” Wow, the faith she must have in him! He hoped what he would tell her wouldn’t dash it to pieces.
“A girl can hope, right,” she asked, winking at him in reassurance.
He smiled. “Marinette, I need to tell you something. About what has been going on with me the last few weeks.” He guided her to the chaise for a seat. With a shy smile, she patted her lap just as she had that night when he had followed her light for the first time. He sat beside her and lay his head on the cherry satin of her dress. She stroked his hair and he sighed.
And he told her everything. How he had first come to her for companionship and a taste of the home life he so desperately craved. How he had come to need the peace, friendship, and freedom he couldn’t experience anywhere but with her. How he realized, on the night when he found her crying, exactly how much he loved her. How the thought of her pining away for Adrien after he, Cat Noir, had turned her down before was agonizing. How he had felt guilty of losing his self control and kissing her at such a moment. How he thought she would hate him. He told her about the nightmares and the loneliness, and the despair. He told her how Ladybug had found him and saved him not once, but four times during that last, terrible night.
Finally, there were no more words. He lay there, head in her lap, with her hand gently stroking his hair. After a long silence, he asked, “Marinette, can you forgive me?”
He felt her take a deep breath and slowly let it out with the words, “Yes, Cat. I forgive you.”
He sighed in relief as she scratched behind his ears and he couldn’t keep himself from purring.
“Is it okay if I ask you a question?”
“Anything for you, Princess.”
She paused for an instant, then, “How did you like the gloves?”
His eyes opened wide and he fell over in his haste to turn around to look at her. Her cheeks were as red as her dress, but a sweet smile was on her lips. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her! No, he had to deal with this surprise first. Stupid hormones!
“Wh-what? I didn’t - how did? Did Ladybug - “ What was happening to him? He couldn’t even put a single coherent sentence together! No wonder Marinette had always looked so uncomfortable around him. This inability to communicate was really annoying!
She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand, but not hiding her dancing eyes. “The look on your face, Adrien!” He knew he must look ridiculous with his mouth hanging open, but did she really have to sit there giggling at him?
He flopped down beside her on the chaise, covering his face with his hands. “How long have you known,” he whispered.
“For sure? About ten minutes.”
He jerked up and stared at her. “But how did you figure it out? Was it something I said? Oh, if I blew it again, there is no telling what Ladybug would say!”
She took his hands in hers with a gentle squeeze. There was a pleased look in her eyes, though whether it was for catching him out or for some other reason, he didn’t know, but her smile was still kind. “I think you and Ladybug can trust me to be discreet. You know I won’t tell anyone. I never told anyone that Cat Noir visited me at night, did I?”
“Not even Alya?”
“Oh, gingersnaps! Not Alya! Never! She is a great best friend, but she already pushes me into all kinds of crazy situations. I would never subject you to that!”
He laughed. “Really? This is the first I’ve heard of it.”
She blushed. “Well, since you already know I have had a huge crush on you for the longest time, I might as well let the cat out of the bag. Totally unfair, by the way, using a secret identity to learn about a crush.”
He chuckled at her pun, rubbing his neck in chagrin. “I think that kiss that night was proper payback, if you ask me. If you’ll recall, Cat Noir told you that Adrien was a fool and didn’t deserve you.”
She looked down so as to not see his face, but her voice was steady as she continued. “Do you remember that trip to the zoo?”
“Where Nino and Alya got locked in the cage by Ladybug?”
“Yeah,” she said, flushing the deepest crimson he had ever seen. “I thought it was a great opportunity to hang out with my crush and Alya was coaching me through an earpiece as to what I should say to you so I wouldn’t be nervous and fall all over myself as usual.”
He blinked at her a few times, then he burst out laughing. The first true belly laugh he had had in over two weeks. For a moment, she looked offended at him laughing at her confession, but he waved his hands in a negative.
“No! What you didn’t know was that Nino had a crush on you and I was coaching him through an earpiece too!”
Despite her furious blushes, she laughed as well. It finally felt like things were getting back to normal. That he had come home. Except….
“How did you figure it out, Princess,” he said softly, using his pet name for her to let her know things hadn’t changed between them. “Or, at least I hope they haven’t.”
She wrapped her arms around him in a hug so gentle and warm and strong that he melted at her touch and began purring again. Oh, the effect this girl had on him!
“Sandalwood and leather,” she whispered into his chest.
He blinked. “What?”
“Y-you,” she stammered, shyly, not meeting his gaze. “Y-you smell like s-sandalwood and leather.”
He blinked. It was true he used sandalwood soap, but how could that have given him away? And the leather? Was it from his super suit?
“When Adrien - when y-you - hugged me this morning. I smelled the scent then and it seemed way too familiar for one of the few hugs from my crush. With you laying in my lap, it would have been impossible to miss.”
Cat chuckled at how he had been found out, for hadn’t he been doing the same thing with her? He pulled away, lifting her chin so he could see her face. He was pretty sure he looked like the cat who had gotten into the cream. “Is that why you are always stammering around Adrien, but not Cat Noir?”
Even though her cheeks were pink, she gave as good as she got. “You know it is, silly cat!” She flicked the bell around his neck with a smirk. It was his turn to blush. “You should ask your kwami to erase your scent when you transform.”
Wait. How did she know about kwamis? Oh, yes, she had once worn the mouse miraculous. How that suited her! She was as cute as a mouse, but she was his Princess, first and foremost. That is… if she wanted that.
“With my luck, Plagg would make me smell like camembert!”
She giggled again. “Then maybe you should just stick with keeping everyone at a distance. If we hadn’t spent so much time together, and you hadn’t hugged me this morning, I would never have figured it out for sure.”
“Hmm, sandalwood and leather. And you smell like almond cookies and lavender,” he whispered. Her eyes widened at that and she gave him the sweetest of smiles. She was so close and warm and he felt that all too familiar, longing ache in his chest, this time untinged by guilt or regret.
Breath catching in his throat, he whispered, “M-Marinette? Would it be ok i-if I….” He swallowed hard, remembering what had happened the last time. What if she couldn’t reconcile that Adrien, her longtime crush, and Cat Noir, the best friend she had confided in about it, were the same person? What if this changed her feelings for both Adrien and Cat? What if…
Before he could find the courage and words to finish asking the question, she grabbed him by the bell and pulled him down into a kiss. Oh, the sweetness of that kiss! She was warmth and light and champagne bubbles and fireworks exploding all in his chest. Marinette didn’t just fill up the loneliness. She completely drove it out. Greatly daring, he shifted her onto his lap without breaking the kiss, not content with just their knees and lips touching. As his world had been darkness and despair last night, today it was joy, peace, and this burning tingle inside him. That was the true gift she gave to him. “Joy really does come with the morning, even for black cats like me!”
After a few more breathless moments, their lips parted, but she nestled against him on his lap.
“So, do you like the gloves,” she asked, eyes closed in contentment.
His purr intensified as he wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her hair with his nose. Yes, the scents of almond cookies and lavender would definitely haunt him forever! “They are amazing,” he replied. “Though I don’t remember the tiny roses in your design sketches.”
“Oh, I added those after… after…”
“After the night I left?”
She nodded. “Lets call it a last minute attempt to subtly let Adrien know I was in love with him.” Not even a stutter over his name this time. “Good!” He chuckled and she looked up at him, her smile as wide as his own.
“What inspired it, if I may ask?”
“You did… or Cat did. For some reason after you left, some lines of that old song Ms. Bustier had us study last term came to mind. ‘They grew and grew in the old churchyard, till they could grow no higher…’”
He blushed as he finished the phrase, “‘At the end they formed a true lover’s knot, and the rose grew round the briar.’”
“I was thinking, worrying about you. You told me to pretend your kiss didn’t mean anything, but I realized it did, to both of us. Somehow, that made adding the roses make sense. It gave me confidence, I guess.”
She stiffened suddenly. “Oh, wow that sounds so weird now! At the time I just thought it was so sweet and romantic and I could definitely relate to the feeling of dying of unrequited love.” She growled in frustration and smacked her face into the palms of her hands. “And even if Adrien hadn’t been you, then it would have still have been weird!”
If Adrien hadn’t been you… Those words rang hollowly through his heart as a thought occurred to him.
“Marinette,” he said seriously, setting her carefully on the chaise beside him. “Is it weird that that Adrien is the one who was visiting you or that Cat Noir is the guy who sits in front of you at school?”
She peaked up at him through her fingers at the sadness in his tone. “I can’t say it won’t take some getting used to and I am probably going to have an embarrassment meltdown of nuclear proportions as soon as you leave, but…” She lowered her fingers and looked at him shyly through her lashes. “I’m willing to try … if you will.”
Her voice was so soft and scared, that he couldn’t help but pull her back into a hug. She sighed and settled back against him.
“Was it weird to learn I had a crush on your civilian self,” she asked.
“Yeah, but I think I would have been more worried about it ruining our friendship if it hadn’t been for what you said.”
“What I said?”
“It was that night after the festival. You came back upstairs to find me looking at a picture of Adrien from your desk.” He smirked at her, his emphasis making her swallow nervously. “I told you I didn’t want my best friend to fall in love with a fantasy, with someone who could show people what they wanted to see. Do you remember how you answered me?”
“I gushed a lot, most likely.”
“Hehe, yeah a little. But you said Adrien was kind, gentle, brave, and-“
“Lonely,” she whispered. “Oh, Cat I am so sorry.” He gave her a little squeeze.
“You were right,” he replied. “That told me that you actually saw me, Adrien, instead of the poster boy for the Gabriel brand. I wasn’t just a celebrity crush for you. You said that it was silly to think that just knowing I was loved would make a difference.” Cat sighed into her hair. “Marinette, it did make a difference, a whole world of difference. And when you thought I was out of your reach?” He suddenly had trouble finding the words and he clenched his free hand in a fist.
She turned his face towards her. “You said Adrien was a fool for not seeing me. That he didn’t deserve me,” she breathed.
“And I meant every word,” he said, relaxing and rubbing his hand on her shoulder. “As Adrien, I have been a blind fool not to see your feelings for me. As Cat Noir, I got to know the real, amazing, talented Marinette that I couldn’t see behind all the blushes and stammering nerves. That is why I tried, in my own feeble way, to interact with you more at school. But I was so nervous about showing you the real me and the secrets I would have to keep as Cat Noir that I bungled it quite nicely, didn’t I?”
“We all have our secrets, Cat,” she murmured.
“Will Adrien asking you out for a picnic have to be one of them?”
She seemed to consider this, then reached up and took his other hand. “Does that mean Cat Noir is not allowed to visit me anymore?”
“Is my sweet Marinette cheating on poor Adrien already,” he replied with a look of feigned shock. He swooned backwards onto the chaise, hand to forehead like a damsel from an old black and white movie. “I’m crushed! I’m heartbroken!”
She swung at him with a pillow to smother his playful cries. “Hush, do you want my father to find you here?”
That sobered him up quickly and he pushed away the pillow. “Yikes! That is an experience I do NOT want to repeat!”
Muffled by the walls of the house, he could faintly hear the bells of Notre Dame tolling one o’clock. He had come full circle, but this time he had come home. He stood and wrapped his arms around Marinette, kissing the top of her head.
“Do you mind if the handsome prince turns into a silly alley cat at night, Princess?”
“I think that is a secret that can stay between you and me,” she said, looking up with a smile. “Will Adrien mind me being Cat’s princess?”
“Not if you want to be,” he murmured, breathing in her sweetness one last time.
“Then as long as you are always the real you, it doesn’t matter.”
“I’m going to marry this girl someday,” he thought as her words sent a ray of sunshine into his heart. She forgave him. She loved him - all of him. For now, for this moment, he was home. It didn’t matter that he would have to leave her soon, that they would have to come up with a story for their friends as to how they got together. It didn’t matter if his father disapproved. Ladybug had been right. Marinette was his lucky charm.
Marinette…
His Marinette was his home.
Notes:
Happy endings all around as Cat finds his home! Thanks for reading everyone! This was my first MLB story and I hope you have enjoyed it!
LadySunami on Chapter 1 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:02PM UTC
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LadySunami on Chapter 2 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:12PM UTC
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BFG_blueapple303 on Chapter 3 Sat 29 Jan 2022 04:32PM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 3 Sat 29 Jan 2022 04:59PM UTC
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TheDarkDrifter on Chapter 3 Tue 15 Feb 2022 03:14PM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 3 Tue 15 Feb 2022 04:01PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 15 Feb 2022 05:56PM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 3 Tue 15 Feb 2022 06:07PM UTC
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TheDarkDrifter on Chapter 3 Tue 15 Feb 2022 06:34PM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 3 Tue 15 Feb 2022 06:43PM UTC
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LadySunami on Chapter 3 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:34PM UTC
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LadySunami on Chapter 4 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:38PM UTC
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LadySunami on Chapter 5 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:43PM UTC
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LadySunami on Chapter 6 Sat 18 Jun 2022 12:48PM UTC
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BFG_blueapple303 on Chapter 7 Sat 29 Jan 2022 09:22AM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 7 Sat 29 Jan 2022 01:09PM UTC
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xlissas on Chapter 7 Wed 04 May 2022 05:43AM UTC
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Jheqia on Chapter 7 Wed 31 May 2023 12:54PM UTC
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