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Chapter Text

“Oh bloody hell Prongs, we are not having this conversation for the third time this week.” Sirius mutters angrily as he begins walking away from me. “He made his choice, and I’m not going to beg him to change his bloody mind.”

“I’m just saying, Padfoot, he’s just a kid and he doesn’t know anything outside the world of your family. Kind of like you when I met you.” I remind him.

“He has no interest in changing or even hearing me out, okay? Let it be.” Sirius says, he throws himself down on the couch beside Remus in the common room. Peter’s there, looking between the two of us in confusion.

“What’s going on now?” Remus asks us without looking up from his book. He already knows the answer, I know he does.

“Prongs won’t give up the idea that maybe Regulus is actually a good person and apparently it’s my bloody job to save him.” Sirius says to Remus. Peter nods his head and goes back to his homework, not wanting to get involved.

“Because he’s the same fucking way you were when we met you, and we helped you out of that dark hole.” I add, hoping that might get his attention but he just doesn’t seem to give a shit.

“He doesn’t want my help. He doesn’t want anyone’s bloody help James. Leave it be.” Sirius says, dropping the nickname. He’s right pissed off now.

“He’s your brother, Sirius! How could you just turn your back on him? Would you do that to us so quickly?”

“No, but you wouldn’t push me away constantly and tell me how much you hate me.” Sirius mutters, “He doesn’t want my help and he’s made that perfectly clear. Just think of him as any other Slytherin from now on and not my brother.”

“I think giving up on him is a huge mistake. He doesn’t know how much trouble he’s in and you do. And you know how to help him out of it.”

“But he doesn’t want out of it James. He wants to make our mother and father proud, while all I ever did was disappoint them.”

“You’re being selfish.” I mumble.

“No, i’m not. I’m doing exactly what the little git asked me to, i’m leaving him alone.” Sirius shouts angrily at me. “Why can’t you do the same thing? Why do you suddenly care so much about him? You never did before.”

Remus looks up from the book now and Peter stops doing his work to hear what I have to say to that.

“He reminds me of you, and if we weren’t there for you when we first met, you’d be stuck there too.” I say gently.

“I would not be. I would have found a different way out. If Regulus decides he doesn’t want to be their little doll, he knows where to find me.”

“Sirius-”

“James, this is a warning now. If you don’t shut the fuck up about this, I will punch you.”

“Okay-” Remus intervenes.

“You surely don’t agree with this, right Remus?” I ask him. He awkwardly stands there between Sirius and I for a moment to consider his answer.

“Regulus has made it very clear that he doesn’t want Sirius’ help when he has tried to help him. You can’t expect him to keep trying when he’s going to keep refusing. You can’t save everyone James.”

“Unbelievable.” I shout, dramatically throwing my arms in the air. “Pete?”

“I- well I uh.”

“Right, answer enough.” I mumble. “You guys are all about loyalty and family until someone outside the four of us needs help.”

“James, you don’t even know the kid. He’s all kinds of fucked up, okay? He’s angry and stubborn and sarcastic.”

“Like you?” I ask him.

“No, it’s different with him. He’s angry at the world and everyone who tries to help him. He’ll roll his eyes at you and scowl at you. Ignore you when you try to help him, yell at you and if you happen to get too close, he’ll push you away every chance he gets.”

“And you just let him push you away, Sirius. Instead of staying and showing that you care and you won’t just leave, you walk away and have a tantrum.”

“Shut your mouth, Prongs.” Sirius says as he stands up and gets in my face. “You don’t know anything about it.”

“Sirius, I’ve been your best friend since year one. I’ve listened to you go on and on about how you regret how everything went down with him. I’ve heard you cry about how much you miss him and you’re worried about him. If you don’t stop this stubborn, rejected act you’re going to lose him for good.”

“It’s like you’re not even hearing me, James. He. doesn’t. Want. anything. To. do. With. me.”

“And you’re so okay with that because it’s the easier thing to do.” I say.

“Was it not you in our fourth year telling me to forget about it because he’s not worth it? Were you not telling me to walk away from him because I’m only setting myself up for disappointment? I didn’t do it then because I still had some hope but now that I’m actually ready to move on, you’re telling me not to? You aren’t making any sense.”

“It’s different now and you know it.” I say, shaking my head in disappointment that he’d use that as an excuse to not fix things. “You were both young then. You’re at the age now that you should be mature enough to deal with this.”

“Clearly, i’m not. I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“What does that mean?” Remus asks him. The three of us look at Sirius curiously.

“Look, I love my brother and I always will. Of course I regret leaving him there and of course I wish things happened differently but I can’t change that. Even if I did do what you’re telling me to do James.. I’m not ready to take care of him.. Which is exactly what I’d have to do if I got him out of there because he’s sixteen.”

“And you’re nearly eighteen.” I add.

“Did you even hear me? I’m not ready for something that big.”

“And you wouldn’t be alone, you bloody moron.” I say, “Of course I’d help you, and I’m sure Moony and Wormtail would too.”

Sirius considers my point for a moment but evidently he shakes his head no. “just leave it alone, James.”

I sigh and shake my head. His little brother needs him and he’s going to abandon him? Fucking git.

Well I’m not going to let him go down that dark hole.

But how the fuck am I supposed to manage that? Sirius begins talking to Remus and Pete about something but I’m still stuck thinking about how i’m supposed to talk to Regulus.

Since the three of them are all busy in conversation, I decide I’m going for a walk. Somewhere away from them where I can think. A room fool of screaming gits isn’t exactly helpful.

“I’ll be back in a bit.” I mumble as I leave the dorm room and then the common room. I guess I can understand Remus not wanting to go against Sirius since i’m pretty sure they’re into each other, but Peter too? They can’t all think he’s that bad of a person, can they?

Maybe I am the one in the wrong… I genuinely don’t think I am but maybe… I don’t know.

I decide to go to the astronomy tower because that’s the only place I can think of where no one else will be. Plus, it’s the closest. Too lazy to walk further than I have to.

The astronomy tower during the day is basically used for students to smoke weed or to hook up but at night it’s pretty much empty. The boys and I sometimes come up here at night to escape from Filch. It’s one of the only places the lazy git won’t go so we’re safe. Not many people come up here when it’s late.

When I get to the top of the tower, I notice the door is open and that’s pretty odd because it’s always shut at night.

I walk in the room silently and peek my head in to see Regulus sitting by the window alone. From afar he looks a lot like Sirius. The two of them have very similar features, as family usually does. The hair looks the same from the back, same colour and almost the same length.

He must’ve heard me because he glances towards the door and then rolls his eyes before turning back to the window. Even their eyes are the same. The same colour, the same shade of grey. They’re even the same shape.

“I thought I'd be alone up here.” Regulus says when I don’t move closer into the room or say anything. He starts getting up to leave the room. “I’ll leave now.”

I watch as he gets closer to me and it takes me a minute to figure out what to do, and then I put my arm out to stop him.

“No, you don’t have to leave. You were here first.” I say. He stops and stares at me in confusion.

“So, you’re leaving then?” Regulus asks me, avoiding my eyes as he moves back to the window.

“No, I thought I’d stay up here too.” I say to him. He rolls his eyes but still doesn’t look up at me. “What? Does that bother you?”

“No.” Regulus mumbles, “You do whatever you want.”

He might look like Sirius but he scowls and rolls his eyes and huffs every chance he gets. Sirius is sarcastic but Regulus is closed off.

“What are you doing up here anyway? It’s cold and it’s the middle of the night.” I ask him as I move over to the window where he’s sitting and sit across from him. He glances over at me and shakes his head before responding.

“You’re here too, are you not?” He asks me, looking at me and it looks like he’s trying to figure out what I want.

Good luck with that. I don’t even know what I want with you.

“Yeah well, I just needed a break-”

“A break from your ‘can do no wrong Gryffindor friends’ and your extremely cocky attitudes.” he interrupts me.

“Can do no wrong?” I ask him, raising an eyebrow. “Do you even know how many times we’re in detention a month?”

“Please, everyone knows McGonagalll loves you guys too much to give you a real detention. You guys probably sit there and do work or something for an hour.”

I roll my eyes at him. Where did this attitude come from? Holy shit.

“What’s your point?” I ask him.

“It’s a lot different for the rest of us.” He mumbles as he focuses back out the window.

I don’t say anything. I knew that Sirius and Regulus were different but Sirius is sarcastic and witty, and yes he’s right, Sirius is cocky.. But it’s all in good fun. He’s always joking around and trying to lighten the mood. We’re all aware it’s his coping mechanism but Regulus is the complete opposite. While Sirius tries to make everyone else laugh, Regulus starts arguments.

They are polar opposites. He pushes everyone away instead of letting anyone in. Not even his own brother.

Well, he’s going to let me in. I don't care how badly he doesn’t want to. There’s no way I’m letting him go through all of the shit I know he’s going through alone. Even if Sirius doesn’t want to care about him anymore. Someone still has to.

“I had no idea, okay? We thought detention was the same for everyone.” I say to him honestly. He shakes his head and laughs sarcastically.

“Sure, whatever. It doesn’t matter anyway.” Regulus says to me.

“What are you doing up here? I believe I answered you, it’s your turn.” I say to him, hoping he’ll answer me and not scoff again.

He glances at me again and I can see him battling himself as he decides what he should do.

Come on, just let me in.

“None of your bloody business. I think you got me confused with Sirius. I’m not going to tell you my sob story for you to give me some sympathy. I don’t need it and I don’t crave yours or anyone’s attention.” he spits at me. “Just fucking leave me alone.”

“I-”

“And tell my brother that I meant it when I said I don’t want or need his help. Sending his best friend was sneaky but I’m smarter than that.” He says once more before he gets up and storms out of the room.

Well… that didn’t go as planned.

Chapter Text

“Bloody hell, James. Where have you been? You missed one exciting idea that little Peter came up with for tonight's adventure.” Sirius says to me the moment I return to our dorm room.

“Astronomy tower.” I reply dryly to him. His smile instantly drops when he notices my tone and he frowns.

“You’re still mad about the Regulus thing? Come on, James.” Sirius sighs.

“I’m not mad about that, just wanted to go up to the astronomy tower. Don’t worry about me you little git, what’s the plan for tonight?” I ask him, trying to make myself come off as happy and in a good mood.

And of course it works.

It always works.

“I was worried there for a moment that you might still be mad over nothing.” Sirius says, the smile returns to his face. “We’re going to go under the cloak and freak Filch out.”

I smile, that actually does sound fun.

“How come none of us have thought of this before?” I say, not having to fake my bad mood anymore.

“Right? Leave it to Pete to come up with something so very clever.” Sirius says excitedly.

“I hope you don’t mean that as an insult.” Peter says to Sirius.

“No, never. You’re a genius.” He says as he pats Pete’s back. “We are going to have so much fun tonight.”

We decide to take turns putting on the cloak and going up to Filch, each coming up with new ways to scare him.

Sirius went first and he tapped him on the back. The rest of us tried to hold in laughter under our glamorous down the hall when he turned around and nearly tripped over the cat. Plus his face when he saw no one was behind him was priceless.

Peter went next and he patted the guys head. Filch screamed like a little girl and took off running down the hall.

Remus went next and he decided to go for the cat instead of Filch which was genius. He picked the cat up and when Filch sensed something was wrong, he spun around and screamed when he saw his cat flying around the hallway.

In reality is was just Remus holding it and spinning around but it was fucking perfect.

By my turn, he was completely exhausted and looking over his shoulder every second. It was irritating because I couldn’t get the timing right.

When I finally did manage to get it, I grabbed him by the waist and tried pulling him backwards, getting out of the way fast when he finally did fall backwards.

“Who did that? Who’s out there?” he asks as he starts running down the hallway, most likely to go to bed.

It was one of our best pranks yet because that was funny.

“So how are we celebrating?” Peter asks us all excitedly once we sneak back into the common room.

I know they will want to celebrate but there’s only one place I want to be. I need to know more. He only spoke to me once but he was so… cold. I need to know more. Need to speak to him more.

But I can’t leave now.

They’ll know something's off.

Sirius will know something is wrong. He’ll know I’m still annoyed with him. It’ll ruin their moods.

I’ll just wait.

Wait until after our celebration.

And I did… kind of wait for the entire celebration to be over. More like I waited for the three of them to be drunk enough not to notice me slip away. I grab the map, just so they can’t check it to see where I am. Without even looking at it, I hide it away in my pocket. Then I grab the cloak so I can slip out of the common room without them seeing me.

I don’t even think twice about where to go. Maybe he won’t even be up there… but I have to try.

And I’m not going to let him be a smart ass this time. He’s going to have to deal with me being there.
After climbing the million stairs, I go towards the door. It’s propped open a little so I look through the crack, still under the cloak.

I hear voices.

Maybe he’s not here. Maybe it’s two different people.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting this way. We’re supposed to be having fun.”

A sigh came after and some shuffling.

“I just miss you… okay? That’s all it is.” the same voice says. The guy sounds kind of sad and tired.

“I’m sorry.” that voice is not the same one as before… but I know it. That one’s Regulus. “I miss you too. I do. It’s just- hard right now.”

Another sigh. “I know,” the other person says sadly. “Fuck. I really fucking hate him.”

“Me too.” Regulus sighs.

“So what now? We just keep up the bloody act?”

I have to see who that other voice is but they’re on the other side of the room. I can’t see anyone.

“Yes,” Regulus says, his voice going from soft to cold.

“I don’t like it.”

“I know,” Regulus says.

“Please, I can’t keep this up much longer. I hate it. He makes me-”

“I know, Barty. I know.”

Barty? Barty Crouch?

“But what other choice do we have?” Regulus sighs sadly.

“I-” Barty stutters. “We could just say fuck him.”

“We both know we can’t do that,” Regulus says. Whatever they’re talking about, it almost seems like it’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation. Regulus seems to know exactly what he’s going to say, and exactly what to say in response.

“I’m sorry, I know we can’t do anything. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too, but we have to be smarter about it.”

Some more shuffling and I hear- are they kissing?

“I’ll go now so he doesn’t find us.” Barty says, “You alright?”

“Yeah, Yes. I’m fine. I’ll see you later?”

“In the common room.” Barty says bitterly. “Later,” He says and I hear footsteps coming towards the door. I shuffle out of the way just in time for Barty to come flying out of the room. He looks… extremely sad. Very different from the guy who walks around causing mischief. That Barty looks happy. This one looks anything but.

Are Regulus and him together?

And who is this guy they kept talking about? The one they’re both scared of.

I wait a long time before I take the cloak off and then I push open the door. I made it seem like I just got here. Like I knew nothing.

Regulus looks up towards the door where I’m standing. It takes him a second to notice it’s me, but when he does, he rolls his eyes.

He does look… sad but he’s not wearing it all over his face like Barty was. Regulus is good at masking his emotions.

I know that, because Remus does the same thing. It’s hard to tell sometimes but I’m getting pretty good at it. Plus, with everything I just heard…

“Bloody hell, Potter. Are you stalking me?” Regulus asks, but there’s something in his voice that caught me by surprise. It was worry.

“No, not stalking you Black. Just needed to get away-”

“So you keep saying, but must you come here?”

“You better get used to me being here, Regulus.”

When I say his name, his back straightens and he looks over at me. Stiff is the word I’d use to describe him right now.

“I don’t want to get used to you being here,” Regulus says. There was something in his voice there… that sounded sad.

“What are you even doing up here anyway?”

“Mind your own business.” Regulus says, but I just sit down across from him and look around. He’s sitting very still, like he’s afraid to move.

“Doesn’t it get boring? To always pretend to hate each other?” I ask him, and he knows exactly what, or who, I’m talking about.

“No,” He says flatly.

I laugh, “Liar.”

He doesn’t answer for a moment, but he turns his body to look out at the sky. “It’s not boring.”

“Okay, but it can’t be fun.”

Now it’s his turn to laugh.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing about any of this is fun, Potter.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, I guess if you’re going to stay here.. I should go. Wouldn’t want anyone to see us.”

I think back to what I heard before and how he kind of looks freaked out right now. He keeps glancing at the door and he looks so tense. Scared.

So unlike Regulus.

“No- no. Don’t go. I could use some company.”

Regulus looks back to the sky and mumbles, “Go find your friends then.”

I use my wand and shut the door, locking it so no one else can get in. It accidentally freaks Regulus out even more. He backs away from me and is reaching for his wand.

“Sorry,” I say calmly. “I- I didn’t mean to scare you. It won’t lock you in, just locks anyone else out.”

Regulus let’s go of his wand and glances at the door.

“You can go if you want to, I'm not forcing you to stay.. But I would like some company if you want to stay.”

Regulus looks from me to the door again, before giving in and sitting back down. I can’t help the tiny smile that appears on my face. That’s a big step.

“I’m only staying because I don’t want to go back down there yet. Wipe that smile off of your face Potter. This doesn’t make us friends.”

I don’t answer him, and we just sit here for a while without talking, but it’s nice. It was a long time before anyone spoke, and he was the first one too.

“Why are you here and not with your friends?” Regulus asks me, but he doesn’t look at me.

“They’re all celebrating a prank we did, and I didn’t feel like celebrating.” I answer honestly.

“You didn’t think the prank was funny?”

“No, I did. It was brilliant.”

“Then what?”

“I’m just not in the celebrating mood, I suppose.”

He doesn’t respond, but he does nod his head.

“My turn to ask a question,” I say and he glances at me but doesn’t show how he feels. Typical Regulus Black. “Why aren’t you in the common room with your friends?”

“Not in the mood, I suppose.” Regulus echoes my words but there’s something sad about the way he says them.

I hum in agreement but don’t say anything else. I don’t know what to say.

“Does my brother know you’re hiding up here with me instead of celebrating with them?” Regulus asks me.

“No, he doesn’t know that.”

Something in Regulus’ eyes gave away exactly what he was feeling. Curious and intrigued.

“I should be going now,” Regulus says. He stands up and heads towards the door without another word. He turns around once to give me one last look, and then disappears behind the door.

And I’m alone again.

Chapter Text

By the time James returned to the common room, everyone returned to their own dorms. Everyone but his friends of course, who had realised he slipped away and were waiting for James to return.

Great, James things, just what he needs now. To be asked a million questions about where he was. It’s not like he can answer any of them.

“Are you going to tell us where you’ve been?” Sirius asks him as soon as he gets in there.
“Do I have a choice?” I ask him and he looks at me like he doesn’t even know who I am.

“No, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Sirius says, but I know that’s not true. He’ll just be pissed at me if I don’t tell him.

We all know that.

“I was just out- I think I like someone but- I don’t know. It’s still new.” I say. I can at least say that.

Sirius’ face lightens up, and then he looks confused. “Why were you trying to hide that?”

“I can’t tell you who it is.”

“Oh,” Sirius mutters. “O-okay, but you will tell me eventually?”

I nod my head.

I don’t know if I actually will because from what it sounds like, he’s already in a relationship of some sort.

But I still nod.

“Then we can move on for now.” Sirius says, “What are we doing tomorrow?”

“Quiddich, Sirius.”

“Rightttt, the Slytherin vs Gryffindor match! I’m so excited. We’re obviously going to win.”

“Yeah-” I mutter.

Did I just admit to liking someone… someone being Regulus Black? What- I- I mean I know i’ve been confused lately about him but I assumed it was more… worried about my best friends brother.

I can’t like my best friends brother.

Especially not when that best friend is Sirius. He will hex me to death if he knew.

Regulus also has a boyfriend? Or at least… I think he’s with Barty. Not that it makes sense. Barty is an asshole. I guess Regulus can be too sometimes, that’s the Sytherin in him. He’s not as bad as Barty though.

Although from what I heard, it sounds like there’s someone else being an ass. Someone they’re maybe scared of.

Who could that be? And why are they scared of him? Merlin, no one scares those two. Except maybe the dark lord and their parents.

No one here scares them.

“Prongs? Merlin, what is going on in your head right now?” Remus’ voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Huh?”

“We were asking you about the plans for the game tomorrow but you kind of spaced.” Pete says to me while all three of them stare at me.

Shit.

“Not sure.” I reply. “Marlene wanted to do something different to catch them off guard. Give us an edge. If you have any ideas, Pads, let me know.”

“Oh great because I have plenty of ideas.” Sirius says and I nod my head and try to listen to his ideas.

My mind keeps going back to Regulus and Barty.

What are they scared of?

I need to know.

Chapter Text

We decided to go with Marlene’s idea for the game because all of Sirius’ are brutal. We would probably get expelled for half of them.

Marlene had to tell Sirius ‘if we all get expelled for using your idea, we let Slytherin win’ because that’s the only way he’d listen. Dramatic git.

We all are heading to the game right now. I’m checking the stands, looking for Moony and Wormtail when I come across someone I’m shocked to see here.

Why is Walburga Black here?

I look over to Sirius, worried that he will also see her. I look at the exact moment he does. I’ve never seen my best friends face drop so fast from pure excitement to fear. Worry maybe too. He looks down at his feet and turns away from her. He’s trying to hide his emotions. Not only from her though, from everyone.

I look around the field for Regulus and I find him by the entrance with Barty. The two of them are talking and he checks the stands quickly. When his eyes meet his mother, he frowns. Not the reaction I thought he would have.

Then he starts looking around the field until his eyes find Sirius. He can tell by the way he’s acting that he’s already seen her.

I wasn’t aware that he would care though.

He looks at me and motions to Sirius. I know what he’s trying to say. Sirius shouldn’t be playing this game. Not with her here.

He’ll be too distracted.

Regulus excuses himself from Barty, who looks confused, and comes over to me.

“I don’t think he should play this game. Not with her here.” Regulus says to me.

“I’m worried about him. He completely changed the moment he saw her.” I tell him. “Why is she even here?”

Regulus looks at me like I just asked a stupid question, and I guess I kind of did. Regulus is her child too, and she does apparently kind of care about him. “I didn’t mean that, I meant I didn’t think this was her kind of thing.”

He shuffles a ltitle and mumbles, “I know what you meant.”

“So, what do we do? He’s not going to want to sit out. Especially not this game.”

Regulus glances up at me and rolls his eyes. “Just tell him he has to. You’re the captian.”

“It might be better coming from both of us.” I add.

“No, it won’t.” Regulus sighs. “He hates me. My opinion will only piss him off.”

“Too bad, you’re coming with me.” I say to him and grab his arm. I look over to Barty for a second and notice he’s watching the two of us carefully.

Regulus and I head over to Sirius, and the moment he sees us coming, he rolls his eyes.

“Merlin, James. Not this again-” Sirius begins and it takes me a second to figure out what the fuck he’s going on about. Then I remember our conversation about him giving Regulus another chance.

“No, not that… although we are not done having that conversation.” I say to Sirius. Regulus just watches, very confused.

“Oh yes we are,” Sirius mutters.

“No we are not.” I say.

“Don’t even start that-” Regulus cuts Sirius off before he can say ‘yes we are’ one more time. “Don’t play this game, Sirius. You’re going to be too distracted with mother here and it won’t be a fair fight.”

Sirius looks between me and Regulus in disbelief.

“I will be playing this game.” Sirius says firmly.

“Come on, Sirius. You don’t have to do this. We all get it, okay? Just take one game off.”

“No.” Sirius says. “I want her to watch me play and I want her to watch us win.”

Regulus doesn’t even seem surprised with his brothers words or confidence. Honestly, he looks like he knew this would happen.

He did tell me his opinion would only piss Sirius off.

“Are you-” I began but Regulus cut me off.

“Fine, do what you want. Mother won’t be watching you guys win though. Slytherin will be winning today.” Regulus says to him, smirking proudly.

“Not a chance,” Sirius says to him. Then he looks up to the stands at his mother. “You better run along now, Reggie. Mother is watching us and she won’t be pleased to see us not fighting.”

Regulus tenses a little bit at Sirius’ words and I know Sirius notices it too. He was going to say something, then decided not too.

“Since when do you two work together?” Sirius asks Regulus and I.

“We don’t.” Regulus says before turning away and walking back to Barty.

“Git.” Sirius shouts at him. I know he doesn’t mean it though. He’s only saying it to make it look like they were fighting to their mother. I look up at her and she smiles after seeing Regulus walk away and Sirius appearing upset.

“We have to win,” Sirius says to me. “I will make her sit there and watch her least favourite son win.”

“Okay, we will win.” I tell him. If we don’t win, he will be a mess. No pressure though.

During the game, it was 2-1 with Slytherin in the lead. Sirius was clearly getting pissed.

Marlene scores another point and causing the Gryffindor students to cheer louder. Sirius smiles.
I notice one of our team getting the ball and seeing another Slytheirn going after them. I glance to Regulus and see him subtly do a spell that makes the Slytherin’s broom to shift a little bit. It makes it look like he lost control a little. No one else saw him and he’s lucky. If Slytherin found out what he just did, he would be killed.

They take everything so serious.

A few moments later, the Gryffindor seeker found the snitch and the game was over.

Was Regulus even trying?

I know it looked like he was, but I don’t think he really was.

When he saw me watching him curiously, he shrugged his shoulders with a devilish smirk on is face, then he put his finger to his lips and shushed me.

He motions to Sirius smiling and talking to our team about how he knew they’d win. I turn back to Regulus but he had already taken off.

He threw the game for Sirius.

Holy shit.

Chapter Text

Are we surprised that I’m on my way to the astronomy tower right now? No, not surprised.

I keep the cloak on and listened in at the door to make sure he’s alone. I do not need to walk in on something I don’t want to see.

“Since when are you and James so close?” I hear Barty ask Regulus.

“We’re not,” Regulus replies dryly. “I told you. He’s Sirius’ best friend so I was telling him to get Sirius to not play the game because our mother was here.”

“That also makes no sense. Since when do you care whether your brother is okay or not?”

“Barty, you’re being dramatic right now.” Regulus mumbles in annoyance.

“I’m not! You’re completely pushing me away yet you’re getting close to James.”

“Merlin, Barty. Calm down.”

“No! Why are you doing this, Reg?”

“You know why. He won’t let us and it’s dangerous and you’re being dramatic.”

“I’m leaving, we’ll just talk later I guess.” Barty says as he slams the door on his way out. That was something else. Barty really thinks Regulus and I have something going on? That’s insane to me.

I wait a few moments, mostly because I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to think I was out there the whole time, even though I was. I also don’t know what to do with this new information I learned.

I have to find whoever it is that is scaring them. It must be bad enough if even Regulus is scared.

I push open the door and his head snaps towards the door. When he sees it’s me, he rolls his eyes.

“You again,” he says and turns away from me.

“Yes, me again.” I say and sit down beside him. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Regulus mumbles and shakes his head. He’s in a bad mood.

“You’re in a mood today, aren’t you?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m going to talk and if you’re not going to respond, it’s going to be a very one sided conversation.”

“What are you doing here, Potter?”

“I like it up here,” I tell him.

“Can’t you come up here when I’m not here?” Regulus asks calmly. I can tell he’s not in a good mood though.

“No, you’re always up here.”

Regulus laughs dryly and nods his head. “You’ve got a point.”

“I know.”

“How about you stop coming up here right after something shitty happens?” Regulus asks me.

“I didn’t know- I’m sorry.”

“It’s- it’s fine Potter. I just want to be alone right now.”

“Me too.” I say and he looks at me for the first time.

“Why aren’t you with your friends, James?” He asks me, still looking at me intensely.

James.

James.

He called me by my name.

“I needed a break. I’m in a mood today and I just wanted to come up here and look at the sky.”

Regulus nods his head like he understands and then looks away from me. Almost like it’s too hard for him to look at me.

“Why do you keep coming here and talking to me like we’re best friends?”

“I don’t know, you’re easy to talk to and you’re always here.”

“I’m easy to talk to?” Regulus asks, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “That’s a first.”

“I suppose you’re easy to talk to. You listen really well, and you’re honest with your responses.”

“I’m not honest, James. I’m just rude.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. He’s definitely rude but he’s also honest. I like it though.

“Who cares why you’re honest, you’re honest. That’s the end of it.”

“You’re very strange,” Regulus admits. “Why do you keep coming up here if you know I’ll be here?”

“I like being around you,” I tell him. I didn’t even realise I liked being around him as much as I do until now. “You’re interesting.”

“I’m interesting?” Regulus asks, more sarcastic and a little curious. “James, I’m boring.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No,” I disagree.

“Yes.”

“Stop arguing with me.” I say to him.

“You’re ridiculous,” Regulus mumbles, but in an amused way. “Fine, I’m not boring.”

“Thank you,” I say happily.

“I’m leaving now before you drive me insane.” Regulus says as he starts standing up to leave.

“Ending this visit so soon?”

“Yes,” Regulus says so fast that I almost think he doesn’t want to go.

“Alright then, see you later.” I say to him.

“Yes, I’ll probably see you tomorrow.” Regulus says before he disappears behind the door.

“See you tomorrow,” I reply even though he’s already gone.

Chapter Text

The next day I snuck up to the astronomy tower and Barty wasn’t there this time so I went right in. Regulus wasn’t even surprised to see me, but he did roll his eyes at me.

“You’re predictable, did you know that?” he says to me.

“Oh yeah? What do you mean by that?” I ask him. He smiles and I know I shouldn’t have asked him.

“Same time every night,” he says casually and without even looking back at me.

“What?”

“You show up at the exact same time every night,” Regulus repeats himself. I’m shocked. I didn’t even notice that about myself, yet he did.

“Oh,” is all I can manage to say. Regulus is looking out at the sky but I notice him smile. “So what are we doing tonight?”

Feeling bold. He’s going to immediately shut me down and run away. I know that. I still feel like asking him though.

Because what if he does say we can spend time together?

He won’t.

But what if he does?

“We are not doing anything, Potter.” Regulus says, but not in his usual annoyed tone. No, this was a playful tone. A new one.

One he probably reserves for his friends. The people close to him.

Merlin, I told Sirius he’s still worth it. Why wouldn’t that git listen to me? Whether he’s the same or different from Sirius, he is still a person.

Everytime I spend time with him, I want to make my own plan and get him out of that house. All I can think about is how he needs to be rescued out of that house.

Sirius thinks he doesn’t though.

“I do have a question,” Regulus pulls me from my thoughts.

“Oh yeah? Ask away then,” I tell him.

“What did Sirius mean the other day when he saw us together and said ‘not this again’ because we’ve never spoken in front of him before that.”

“Uh-”

Well this I was not prepared for.

“James-”

“I may have annoyed him earlier this year about how he should try and talk to you,” I mumble because really, there’s no way out of this. Regulus isn’t going to leave it alone. “I gently reminded him that you two are still brothers. He got mad at me.”

“Obviously,” Regulus says. The annoyance from before is back now. “Sirius and I don’t get along. There’s no point in trying to get us too. You’re wasting your breathe.”

“No-”

“We’re two completely different people, James. He’s happy and light. He makes others laugh and he’s lovable. Everyone fucking adores him. I get it, he’s great.” Regulus pauses, “I’m mean and insensitive. I follow my mothers orders and don’t stand up for myself. I’m young, sarcastic, blunt and dark. People don’t think of me the same way, and I get that too. We don’t get along, James. We probably never will again.”

That was more than I was expecting.

“You are lovable and funny as well as blunt and mean.” I say. It’s all I could think to say in the moment, and it’s true.

Regulus laughs darkly and nods his head. “Yeah, well unfortunately the bad outways the good.”

“I never said being blunt and mean was a bad thing, Regulus. Sometimes blunt is way better than someone sparing your feelings and being nice. Sometimes mean just means you’re honest. We’ve already discussed that I like that you’re honest.”

“Right,” Regulus says as he watches me carefully. I know he’s not used to hearing this but he has to hear me out. He has to know that he’s more than what he thinks he is.

The way he talks about himself and compares himself to his brother hurts. I don’t want him to actually think that.

“I’m not joking around.”

“I know you’re not.”

“Good.”

“I can’t figure out why you care to tell me this though.” Regulus says dryly. “You don’t even know me. Why do you care if my brother and I talk? Why do you care to tell me that I’m good and loveable? Why do you keep coming back here when I’m nothing but rude to you?”

“Because I don’t scare easily,” I say jokingly, trying to ease the tension.

“Merlin, Potter. You need to let this go.”

“What?”

“I’m not Sirius, okay? I don’t need your words or your friendship. I’m okay on my own.”

“Are you though?”

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t think you’re okay on your own, but you’re too stubborn to ask for help.”

“I’m fine,” Regulus says again, this time trying to get his point across.

“Then why are you always up here? It’s fucking cold up here, and lonely.”

“It’s not lonely enough,” Regulus sighs and glares at me.

“Stubborn git,” I call him.

“Arrogant asshole,” he calls me.

“Well that was rude.”

“You literally called me a stubborn git.”

“Because you’re being a stubborn git. Why can’t you just let me tell you that you’re important?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Then I’ll keep telling you until you do believe me.”

“Merlin. Fine, I believe you.”

“No, now you’re just saying it to get me to leave.”

“You’re right.”

“Not happening.”

“I guess I’ll just leave then.” he says as he stands up and starts walking towards the door.

“Can you just hear me out?” I ask him, beg him.

Please.

Don’t leave again.

Regulus turns around like he’s going to listen and come back in, he stares at me with this serious expression and says, “no, good night Potter.” before he leaves the room.

What the fuck just happened?