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Chapter Text

Prologue

First Year

Receiving her letter wasn’t just confirmation that she was as special as her parents had always told her. It wasn’t even confirmation that she wasn’t as crazy as she had started to believe herself to be given all the accidental magic she had been doing the last seven years.

No. The letter was a promise. An escape. There was another world where she would automatically have something in common with the children her own age. A promise that she wouldn’t be the weird girl in class who couldn’t participate in the conversation about the latest trend or the cutest boy on the playground. After all, if Professor McGonagall was any indication of what this wonderful world, and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she was about to step foot into was like she knew she would be appreciated. This was Hermione Granger's new beginning.

GRYFFINDOR!

Hermione took another deep breath while hopping off the stool and made her way to the long maroon and gold table that was clapping for her. For her. She sat down and people actually spoke to her and clapped her on the back. Finally, people were excited to have her. They must have seen something in her. The hat seemed to have a fit about Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Secretly, she would have have been thrilled with any placement.

Slowly, as the other kids were sorted and she sat next to the infamous Harry Potter and across from his fast friend Ron Weasley she let the tension from the day release as she drank her first goblet of pumpkin juice. She nearly scared herself into thinking it would be more of the same after the unfortunate events on the train with coming across as a know it all to Ron and Harry. She was laughed out of one train car by a platinum blonde boy and his friends for simply asking after another boys toad.

But that was behind her now. Her Prefect was leading her group up to the dorm and she was walking through the Fat Lady for the first time. A perfect way to end a night only to have a most perfect morning of first day of classes and getting her timetable and -

“my god Lavender how many clothes did you pack? You know we have to wear uniforms right?”

Parvati Patil. A beautiful southeast asian girl she hadn’t spoken to yet. In fact she hadn’t spoken to either of the girls in her dorm yet.

“Well, of course I know that, but you never want to be caught unaware. And since when is hiding lipgloss in your shoes okay?” Lavender Brown stared back. The girls bust into a fit of giggles and began comparing the contents of their trunks.

Hermione saw this as her chance to make the girl friends she always wanted, “what classes are you most interested in taking? Personally, I think ancient ruins will be the best of the year. I mean if you think about it Hogwarts: A History draws some much on ancient ruins and really tells how Hogwarts came to be.”

Hermione didn’t realize that she was a bit breathless and smiling too largely.

Both girls glanced at each other. Lavender cocked her head to the side while Parvati said something along the lines of Charms probably being the most useful for practical purposes such as glamours and daily life. Lavender turned her back on the girls, but the all too familiar sound of snickering rang in Hermione’s ears as she quietly agreed with Parvati. She grabbed her bathroom bag and as the bedroom door was closing the girls combusted into full on giggles. A sting hit Hermione’s heart as she tried to convince herself that this would be different. That night as she took her shower and her tears mixed with her soap she decided this was just a one time thing of coming on too strongly. This had to be different.

And different it was not.

At first. Try as she might she knew she was different from the other girls. She couldn’t seem to connect. No matter what she attempted to do they wouldn’t talk to her. She began spending more and more time with Harry and Ron, but even that seemed forced. Polite and friendly, but definitely not friends. Almost two months into school and she was brushing tears away from her seventh letter home telling her parents about how funny her friends were and how much she’s enjoying the study groups they’ve formed.

In an attempt to simply help Ron with his spell work she was once again harshly reminded that polite and friendly was not even half way close to real friendship. She cried until her head ached and her stomach hurt so badly she felt like throwing up in the bathroom. Both of which seemed to pale in comparison to a troll.

Harry and Ron saved her that night. That’s how she saw it. They knew where she was and they came rushing to her side. Everything changed after that. They became the trio. Where you would find one you would find the other two. Inseparable. Troublemakers. Rumor has it Dumbledore’s favorites. They took on Snape (in their mind) and defeated Voldemort. Together. Her letters home were no longer lies or wishful thinking. She could actually tell her parents the truth about life at Hogwarts.

The girls never seemed to come around to her. She still caught herself trying too hard and their eye rolls and giggles didn’t go unnoticed. Towards the end of the year when Lavender talked about holding hands with Dean Thomas or Parvati was spilling about Seamus following her around the castle again Hermione would lay stock still and quiet in her bed. The first time she had tried to take part in the conversation by commenting that Draco Malfoy, while foul, had nice hair. The girls had laughed so hard Hermione faked laughed and excused herself to cry in the shower. The final hit came in June. It didn’t seem to matter that Hermione was part of the Golden Trio, or had help win the House Cup. When she was packing up Parvati approached her with a stack of magazines in her hands.

“Hermione, listen, Lav and I were talking and we think that you’re the smartest girl we’ve ever met. I mean the rumors going around…” Parvati took a quick look at Lavender behind her. Hermione’s heart soared at the forthcoming acceptance, “which is why we think if we give you all of these and you have all of summer you just might be able to understand at least one thing in here.” Parvati shoved the magazines in her hands while Lavender absolutely cackled behind her.

Hermione quickly turned to her open trunk so the girls couldn’t see her welling eyes and placed the “gift” inside, “thank you Parvati. It’s so nice to be thought of. I hope you guys have a great summer. Come September I’m sure you’ll have even more tips you could share with me.”

With that Hermione grabbed her bathroom bag just as she had the first night and walked out. Just like her first night the girls didn’t wait for the door to close before their laughter echoed so loudly in the halls it scared a third year coming out of the bathroom. Her last night at Hogwarts Hermione cried in the shower.

Chapter Text

Second Year

Hermione hadn’t heard from her friends all summer. Ron she wasn’t surprised by at all. What was it that he said 'I won’t. You know I won’t' when asked if he’ll write. She was surprised by Harry of course. As she was packing her mother came into her bedroom to deliver the last of her laundry.

“Honey, we’re going to miss having you around so much. We never thought we would send you away to a boarding school and last year proved why,” Jean laughed, but there was a sad truth underneath her playful words.

Hermione’s mom was the answer to everything. She seemed to know exactly what to say and how to respond in any given situation. Hermione’s father was loving in his way, but if it wasn’t talking about books or current events they didn’t seem to have much conversation. Most of her childhood had been spent sitting in his lap while he read to her or they read their own books respectively. Many people wouldn’t understand, but she knew this was how her Dad showed love. She would often find her parents reading together on weekend mornings or late nights when she couldn’t sleep.

“Mom…” Hermione started tentatively. Jean busied herself folding clothing, but offered a polite hum to encourage her reserved daughter, “I was wondering what age you think girls should start liking boys.”

Hermione finished while turning to reorganize her books. While straight forward sex questions had never been off the table in the Granger household this seemed much more personal to Hermione. This question could open a new chapter in her life and she didn’t think she was prepared to explain to her parents that all the other girls from her year had boys who already liked them and that she did not. Her parents, while good meaning, have never been able to control their desire to “right” a situation if they feel their daughter is being treated unfairly. At 12 years old the girl couldn’t think of anything worse than her muggle parents showing up at Hogwarts to lecture the professors about the other girls bullying Hermione about not putting herself out there with the boys.

“Well, darling, there is no right answer to that. I’m sure by now you’ve realized that some girls like boys and they like them back. I knew I had a crush on a boy when I was 11. However, most of my girl friends didn’t really start liking boys until about 14 or 15,” Jean answered in a patient way that always brought comfort to Hermione, “do you think you like a boy? Is it that blonde boy Dragon.” Jean started to coyly smile.

“God Mum no. God. No.” Hermione could feel her blood rush to her face. Why couldn’t her mum stop at the first part. That was a great answer and then this.

“Honey it’s okay! His father was quite attractive. Always nice to know what you could be getting yourself in to,” Jean giggled.

Hermione turned to look at her mother full in the face. She opened her mouth a couple of times before finally landing on a quick harsh truth, “Mum, I don’t think boys are my thing.”

“Oh. Oh. Okay. Wow. I need to sit. It’s the 90s after all. This is okay. I’m so proud of you for telling me,” Jean tried to smile at her daughter, but for the first time Hermione was seeing her in an uncomfortable state.

“Oh no, Mum I’m not. It’s not like that,” Hermione attempted to protest.

“No it’s okay. I get it. Away from home. Dorm with girls…”

“Mum please before I cast a spell for the earth to swallow me whole,” Hermione interrupted, “I just meant I don’t think boys are my thing because I don’t think they care for me. I don’t think they’re interested in me like they are in the other girls,” Hermione couldn’t help it. Her eyes began to fill with tears.

“Oh my darling girl! I’m sure that’s not true. Surely not all the boys in your year… all- all the boys?” One look at her tearful daughter told Jean that this wasn’t pre-teen dramatics. Her daughter was quite literally telling her that zero boys had expressed an interest in her this past year, “Okay I’ll tell you a secret. Most boys your age are assholes. Just little dickheads.”

Hermione couldn’t help the watery laugh that escaped at her mothers cursing. It was never used often, but always used well.

“And the truth is that this is a terrible age. Everything seems so life and death. This coming year, if I’m being honest, might be much of the same. The boys just might not be ready to express an interest. But, next year you’ll be a third year. You’ll also be 14. You’ll notice that the older you get the less age difference matters. Look at your father and I. 7 year difference. At a certain point it just didn’t matter as much as it would have if we had gotten together earlier. Do you understand?” Jean hugged her daughter and stared into her eyes. Hermione nodded her head and actually did understand her mother’s words. Jean patted her head just as they heard her father yell from downstairs that they needed to get going to Diagon Alley.

Running into the Weasleys gave her a more reassuring sense of coming home. She quickly tamped down the sadness and jealousy she felt when Ron said Harry had been at the Burrow with them and went into full search mode looking for the Boy Who Gets Lost leaving her parents at the book shop with Arthur and Molly.

Unfortunately, her mother was not entirely incorrect when she said that Draco Malfoy was quite cute and his father was just as much of a charmer. Fortunately, the Granger’s didn’t have to hear the conversation that they had been part of saving her parents from knowing that, while handsome, Lucius Malfoy was passing down looks and violent prejudice to his only son. Hermione couldn’t believe the spark she felt when Draco sneered at all of them and said “see you at school.” Surely he was only talking to Harry, but Hermione allowed her imagination to pretend he was talking to her as well.

Her innocent daydreams of the pureblood prince came to a screeching halt one afternoon when, in front of everyone, he called her a Mudblood. It has been some time since Hermione had cried like that. While she couldn’t stop the tears from escaping in front of him, Harry, Ron, and Hagrid it was later that night burying her face in her pillow that the real sobs racked her small frame. The boys reacted by saying they wanted to hurt him, but Hermione wanted someone who could give her solid advice and commiserate with her. She wanted girl friends. Judging by the way Lavender sadly shook her head at her when she walked in the dorm and told Parvati that it “looks like she’s learned nothing” Hermione knew that wasn’t an option.

Lockhardt turned out to be a complete bust of a first real crush. Hermione couldn’t believe her utter bad luck. First, he could barely teach a class. Second, how was it that she was the only one who noticed that when he cast spells they didn’t work? And he agreed to do a dueling club? The only thing that came out of that was being able to watch Professor Snape strongly demonstrate how a duel should go. His long black clad legs moved with authority when he cast spells and he remained beyond controlled when Harry began taunting the conjured snake.

Many a times Hermione had walked in on the girls of her dorm talking about their on going escapades with the boys they were talking to that week. Lavender had apparently shared her first kiss with a third year Ravenclaw named Callum. She spoke in detail of how he held the back of her neck with two hands as he pressed his lips to hers. Weeks later Hermione would also watch as Lavender cried to Parvati as the same boy refused to wave to her in the Great Hall. Something along the lines of not wanting to be seen with a second year. Hermione in another desperate attempt tried to offer her comfort.

“You know Lavender, my mum says -“

“FUCK Hermit no one cares what your mum has to say about boys. For all we know she got knocked up just once to reproduce you. Judging by how she lets you leave the house I’m assuming her knowledge of boys is about as great as your looks,” Lavender all but screamed at Hermione. Lavender sat back down and continued to cry to Parvati about Callum as Hermione nodded her head with a whispered okay and left the room.

All around her it seemed her classmates were pairing off. She found more second years holding hands in the hallways or stealing innocent kisses in the dark alcoves and library stacks. The bolder ones or the ones who had boyfriends in older years would often sit together at breakfast and lunch. After the explosion in the dorm Lavender had openly taken to calling her Hermit Hermione. Alone forever. So ugly you should get a shell to hide in. It was 2 weeks after that she stumbled upon Lavender and Callum kissing in a darken corner of the library. He still wouldn’t look at it her in public. This gave Hermione a sick sense of joy.

With more knowledge of what the school was up against from Professor McGonagall Hermione spent more and more time in the library. It seemed to suit her fine as Ron didn’t mature much over the summer. He still picked stupid fights with her and threw petty insults. It was hard to decipher which Gryfinndor was worse - LavPav or Ron. Her retreats became easier with every time Harry would laugh at one of Ron’s jokes or Hermione would engage in the fight and Harry would take Ron’s side. Every time. Without fail. She knew the boys cared about her, but she also had to come to the realization that in groups of three there would always be two plus one. She was the one. And when Harry told Hermione to stop after Ron “jokingly” called her Hermit she sadly smiled and nodded her head. She made a choice to not think too much about how she allowed this treatment because she knew without it she would be alone.

Suddenly everything was blank. She was just asleep. She knew she was asleep, but she was asleep for too long. It’s like she was there, but she couldn’t tell them. She didn’t know where she was and it was hard for her to distinguish how many people were around her. She couldn’t tell if she was dead or alive.

Then just as quickly she was revived. The first face she saw was Professor Snape. The man’s dark eyes were staring back at her as he was less than a foot from her face.

“Professor…” Hermione whispered as she brought her hand up to his shoulder. As if on its own the small hand moved from his shoulder towards the back of her Professors neck until her eye sight saw all the others in room. Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall along with the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore. Coming back to herself she stopped her hand and used its perch to pull herself up as if that was her intention all along.

Snape pulled back without moving his facial features in the slightest and brought her to a total sitting position.

“It would appear the mandrake cure is totally and completely at work with immediate results.” Snape remarked, but it seemed more to himself as he was jotting notes down in a small notebook. Hermione nearly chucked to herself at the thought of her being labeled as test subject: Mudblood.

She was released from the hospital wing with very few instructions, but some unfortunate side effects. Her muscles would ache for weeks and she would need to spend some time in the coming months building up her strength again. While she was 5’3 at her last doctors visit Madam Pomfrey made an educated guess that she wouldn’t be growing much more. Perhaps an inch or two if she were lucky. Hermione should have started her monthly cycles, every other girl in her dorm had, but being petrified will most likely cause a delay on that as well. The worse side effect of them all had to be sitting in the Great Hall and being told that final exams were off. Revision time being damned she thought how unfair it would be that the student body wouldn’t be able to show off all they had learned that year.

“Surviving Hogwarts shouldn’t be a skill someone shows off,” Ron muttered from next to her.

Hermione had attempted the hug, but Ron had pulled back at the last second. Clearly still embarrassed to be seen as overly friendly or kind to her. She held on to the fact that Harry had embraced her. The both of them gushed all dinner how it was actually her research that helped them overcome Voldemort. Again.

“It’s like you’re always with us ‘Mione, but may be next time you can actually be with us, with us,” Harry's exclamation and promise of wanting her with them was enough to warm her heart.

His freeing Dobby the house elf made it even better.

She repeated the same chore of last year of packing up her trunk for the end of year departure. Leaving out her outfit of the day, bathroom bag, and keeping the lid open for last minute additions. The surprise must have been evident on her face when Parvati sat on her bed.

“So we wanted to say that we’re happy you’re okay. To go through that…I mean oh my god right? Like really scary. And yet the boys are still saying you helped them with everything. You really are the brightest witch of your age Hermione.” Parvati smiled at her, wished her a good holiday, and went back to her side of the dorm.

In a stunned way of acknowledging the exchange Hermione thanked her for her kind words through a mumbling while walking out towards the bathroom. Just at the door closed she heard Lavender whine “now she’s going to think she can go back to talking to us.”

The next morning, Hermione departed without a backwards glance.

Chapter Text

Summer Before Third Year 

It finally happened.

Hermione was clenching her first piece of mail, by owl, since her Hogwarts letter while standing in her childhood bedroom. 13 years she waited for this. She knew it wasn’t official as there was no seal or exact hand writing to indicate as such. Ripping open the wax from the back she hissed as a paper cut emerged; the parchment causing a deeper gash than ordinary copy paper. Immediately, she recognized the messy handwriting as her kind of best friends' Ron Weasley. 

Mione, 

We’re back from Egypt and staying at the Leaking Cauldron in London. Just got word that Harry is here, but tucked in for the night. Mum won’t let me wake him. Ask your parents if you can come stay with us early and we can leave for the train together. Ginny says she needs you too. 

If you can’t come let me know. If you can get here as fast as possible.

• R 

Hermione couldn’t believe it. Ron was actually asking her to come meet up with them. Not just the Weasley family, whom she immensely loved, but Ron wanted to share his time with Harry. Hermione let out a stifled laugh as she realized silent happy tears were rolling down her cheeks. Of course she written to Ron and Harry. Ron didn’t write back, but now it makes sense with him in Egypt. Harry would never be allowed to write back as the Dursley’s didn’t allow it, but she knew that it meant everything to him to at least read the letters that people sent him. With faint embarrassment Hermione had also written to Lavender and Parvati. She came across some teen magazine at her parents dental practice and she told them about the hair tricks for curly hair. She made copies of the article and sent it out to them, but didn’t hear back. Lavender’s last words from second year ringing in her ear “she’ll think she can talk to us.” 

Hermione pushed all the thoughts aside and ran down the stairs to her parents reading the newspaper in the living room while drinking coffee. If her parents reaction was anything to go on she must have looked crazed. She realized that she hadn’t brushed her hair and she probably looked like she had been crying. 

“Darling, what is it? What’s wrong? David?” Jean was becoming just as frantic as her daughter appeared. 

“Sorry, Mum. No, nothing is wrong! Ron wrote,” Hermione started. 

“That red head boy?” David Granger said from behind his paper barely sparing the scene a glance. 

“Yes, Dad the red head one. He wrote and asked if I could come stay in London with his family and Harry until the 1st. Then we can take the train together to Hogwarts,” Hermione was ecstatic. 

Jean broke out into a large grin, “See dear, I told you if you just give the boys time -“ 

“What’s this now?” The 13 year old’s father finally put his paper down and folded his hands in his lap. He was growing impatient with the women’s excitement. 

“Mum, no Ron and I are not like that. At all. Not even a chance. Dad, Ron and Harry my best friends from school? You remember them right? They want me to come stay for a few days with them in London, do school shopping, and go to the train together,” Hermione, reeling in her happiness, addressed her father. 

“Well of course you can dear! I’ll have to make sure you have plenty of money and oh you’ll need to pack! Your permission slip! David did you sign it? I’ll double check. Let me go make a list and start laundry.” Jean clapped her hand a couple of times channeling the happiness she felt for her daughter. 

Hermione watched her go and started to mentally catalogue everything that she would have to do in order to leave as soon as her mom had her ready. 

“Hermione,” Her father’s strong voice brought her back to earth. She went to the couch and stood in front of him as was customary when her father wanted to have a talk with her, “I understand at your age you want to have fun with your friends, but really my love you’re with them 9 and half months out of the year,” David assessed his daughter from his seated position on the couch. Hermione remained quiet while looking down, “You know your mother and I enjoy having you home as much as possible during your summer holidays.” 

“I know Dad,” Hermione whispered eyes still adverted to the floor. 

Grabbing her arm David pulled his daughter so she was sitting in his lap just like their nightly ritual of reading, “My love you know I just want you to stay here with me. Who will read with me at night?” Her dad looked into her eyes while petting her wild hair back from her face. 

“I know Dad. I miss you too, but I also want to spend time with my friends outside of school…” Hermione murmured this response not wanting to hurt her Dad’s feelings. 

“Ah I understand. Well, it looks like you went and grew up on me.” David brought his hand to his daughters face and pulled her face closer so he could kiss her cheek. 

“We can still read together when I am home,” Hermione tried to look into her Dad’s blue eyes one more time, but she couldn’t turn her face due to the closeness. 

“Of course my dear. Well, go on and help your mother. The more you do the less she’ll ask of me,” He let out a deep rumble. 

Hermione slowly slid out of his lap just as she always had and went to trail after her mother to collect all her belongings. 

By morning Jean Granger had her daughter packed and in the car. David had said he was needed at the practice and sadly would have to make last night his goodbyes. The car ride seemed so short as Hermione was clearly on edge. She kept looking at herself in the side mirror and visor. She was finally growing into herself she thought. Still short as her growth spurt that she wished for desperately hadn’t materialized. Her hair was now long curls and ringlets from a mixture of muggle magazine tips and witches potion. Her teeth weren’t nearly as big as they once were and due to the delayed period her skin seemed to not have caught up with puberty leaving it tan and clear. Much like her height the rest of her body could have used some more maturing. Most of the girls in second year were already B cups or higher - so they said. And it was obvious that their muscles were coming in in a way that showcased their developing curves. Hermione, listening to the advice from Madam Pomfrey, spent the summer break running and doing as many strength training exercises she could. The only thing she got out of it is what her Mum called a “runners body.” She looked skinny and her chest was just now developing breast big enough for Hermione’s small hands to cup. 

The first thing she felt when exiting the car was a big motherly hug. Mrs. Weasley. The smell of cloves, cleanliness, and warmth invaded her senses, “We’re so excited you could come to stay with us dear. Ginny is already inside. She’ll be so pleased.” Mrs. Weasley let her go and directed inside the run down building.

As she said her final goodbyes to Mum Jean whispered in her daughter's ear, "remember what I said last year about boys. This year everything could change."

Hermione couldn't help the eager smile that broke out on her face. 

Shopping with her friends left Hermione elated for the coming year. She and Ron still squabbled in the most predictable of settings, but Harry no longer told her to calm down or stop overreacting. They enjoyed ice cream, Hermione stayed quiet while the boys drooled over the latest broom, and the boys did their best to pretend to be interested in the book shop. The Leaky Cauldron had been coming more alive with every passing day and by the time the trio made its way inside for dinner on their last night Tom was magically extending yet another table for parents and students who couldn’t wait to catch the Hogwarts Express tomorrow morning. 

Of course the Wanted posters were impossible to ignore. They were printed and stapled everywhere. What the Weasleys and other Ministry officials tried to hide were their anxieties surrounding the posters. Cuddling her newly purchased cat Hermione was able to tuck herself away into a dark corner for a moment to herself. She was convinced that this year would be totally different than the past two. The last few days have already proven that. No longer would she feel on her own, but finally she would be part of something. No longer isolated on an island of correct answers and swotty behavior. As she was about to emerge from her hiding spot to grab a new book Mr. Weasley had gently pushed Harry into the darkness. 

“Harry, I need you to promise me you won’t go looking for trouble this year. This Sirius Black he wants… you need to promise me you won’t go looking for him.” Mr. Weasley tried his best to keep eye contact with the young boy and to remain as authoritative as possible. 

“Mr. Weasley, why would I go looking for someone who wants to kill me?” Harry asked. Anyone else listening in would assume Harry was asking one simple rhetorical question. Hermione, and Mr. Weasley she guessed, knew that while Harry asked this question what he really wanted was answers on who Sirius was and what he wanted. Mr. Weasley, not wanting to indulge in the boy’s reckless streak, clapped him on the shoulder, gave him a brief overview of what he knew, and steered them back into the light.

“Don’t lose him!”

The last thing the kids heard from Mrs. Weasley as she yelled after her youngest son on the platform. Ron rolled his eyes at the behavior so Hermione gave her a small smile and a half wave to acknowledge that she was heard. 

After traipsing up and down the train they had to land on the compartment that only had one other occupant. A man who seemed to be covered with his own jacket, already asleep, before the train really even got out of London. 

“Professor R. J. Lupin,” Hermione stated. 

“You know everything. How is it she knows everything?” Ron asked in genuine amazement.  

“It’s on his suitcase Ronald.” I mean honestly Hermione wanted to follow up. 

Harry closed the compartment door and began explaining everything he knew about Sirius Black. The two sat in silence. Hermione turned over the bits of new information Harry was able to learn. Ron was the first to start asking questions. None of them had the answers and even if they did the questions and the answers would only serve to scare them more. 

All of a sudden the train came to a screeching halt. The lights slowly flickered and then one by one went out in each compartment. After a violent shake the Hogwarts express was left in total darkness while a storm raged on outside their window. The air started to grow cold at an alarming rate and Ron squeaked out his fear with his hand pressed against the window. Just as frost had taken over all of the glass in the compartment billowy shadows appeared in the hall. Without touching the handle the door slid open and the floating black figure stood tall in the doorway. Hermione looked on in what she knew was pure fright. It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. The figure quickly turned its attention to Harry who went rigid and appeared to go into a fit. Hermione knew she should go to him. Help him. She couldn’t move. A cold sweat broke out on her forehead as she fought her terror. 

In one swift moment the sleeping man stood, his cloak sliding smoothly to the ground, and cast a wordless spell. A bright white light overtook the compartment and the black death like figure was forced back by the invisible force that was the white spell. Hermione was in awe at the non-verbal spell casting. It was very advanced for any wizard. The only Wizards she knew who were capable of such advanced magic were Dumbledore and Professor Snape. 

With the air and warmth coming back into the room Hermione was able to go to Harry. Thankfully, he quickly regained consciousness and took the offered glasses out of her shaking hands. The man, Professor Lupin, was sitting across from them and had his hand outstretched with chocolate. He was encouraging Harry to eat. Hermione was finally able to take him in.

She never considered herself a shallow person before so she was disappointed that the first thing she noticed were the scars that ran down his face. They looked as if they had been healed for some time, but they almost suited him in a way. His sandy hair was shaggy and mussed from sleeping for the first half of the journey. He had beautiful green eyes. But unlike the eyes of most men she saw only one emotion - sadness. His eyes were dull and forlorn has if he had resigned himself to a life of loneliness and sadness. Hermione instantly recognized the look. Then his eyes were on her. 

Professor Lupin stood and told the three that he would be speaking with the driver. As he said this he made eye contact with the young girl. Hermione felt a small smile come across her lips as she studied his face in more detail. Taking in his full height and features created a feeling in her that she had never felt before. Her stomach began to feel warm and tight. Her smile faltered at the new sensation and she adverted her eyes. After the door was closed Hermione grabbed Croockshanks and sat in the seat once occupied by the new Professor. 

“Hermione?” Ron was waving his hand in front of her face. Harry also looked confused even in his exhausted state. 

“What? Oh sorry.” Hermione tuned back into the conversation to discuss what they just experienced. 

Sometime had passed and they knew they must be getting closer to Hogwarts when more and more students passing their compartment windows were dressed in their robes. Hermione excused herself from the compartment for the boys to change while she went to the bathroom at the end of the train to change into hers. As thrilled as she was that it seemed their friendship was becoming closer Hermione had some boundaries she wanted to maintain. 

Hermione chose the bathrooms at the end of the train because almost no one came down here. The lighting was always dim and it felt like the hall narrowed in too tight a way. Hermione ducked into the bathroom and quickly put on her school robes. Her mind otherwise occupied and feeling as if she would be alone she barreled out of the bathroom door only to run straight into a dark figure. Hermione let out a sound that could best be described between a scream and a strangled gasp thinking she was facing another dementor. She could feel herself falling backwards, but made no attempt to stop the motion. Warm hands came out and grabbed her forearms under her robes. The tight grasp seemed to center her and Hermione was able to focus on the face of Professor Lupin. 

“Professor Lupin! I’m sorry. No one is ever back here and I didn’t think. I should have looked,” Hermione was rambling. She knew it. Her face was growing hot again at her embarrassment. 

“Hermione,” Professor Lupin said in his calming voice.

With that one word said there hung a silence between them. Again, Hermione found herself staring into the face of the older man. Being this close to him she was able to see how tall he is, well over six foot if she had to guess. His hair was messy, but could have been easily tamed if he cared enough to try. His smell is what caused her breathing to become stilted. The Professor smelled like old books, the forest, and a scent that could only be described as musky and manly. The warm tight feeling behind her navel returned with a vengeance. She knew something was happening to her and whatever it was made her want to be closer to the man. 

Professor Lupin dropped his hands from her arms pivoted to the side to back up against the wall allowing her to pass.

“The hall is narrow down here so I’ll just have to,” Hermione whispered as she also turned to the side to shuffle pass him. Her front grazed his as she walked by. This one small action sent a shock through her system. Hermione wanted more contact, but also wanted to run away. She knew she was staring at the man with a slightly ajar mouth and wide eyes. Professor Lupin met her eyes for what seemed like only seconds before training his eyes frontwards. 

“Head back to your compartment now Hermione,” He was gentle, but it left very little room for argument. Hermione turned on her foot and tried to walk back, but even she could tell she was sprinting.

“I’m pleased to welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Remus Lupin,” Dumbledore smiled broadly at the Great Hall while gesturing to the lanky man who stood and waved shyly. It didn’t escape Hermione’s notice that Professor Snape barely scraped together three claps for the new teacher. 

Throughout the rest of dinner Hermione tried her best to keep her eyes from wandering to the Professors table. She couldn’t help it. She stayed as engaged with the conversations around her as she could, but she didn’t seem able to stop herself from following her new Professors movements. 

Leaving the Great Hall Hermione chanced one more glance back at the Professors table. For the first time since the train she caught his eye. She held it until she watch his face move into a shield of confusion before falling back into the mask of sadness that it was probably most familiar with. She turned and walked out. The faster she went to sleep the faster she could attend her DADA class tomorrow. Third year would be starting in the morning. 

Chapter Text

Third Year 

Hermione found the smile still plastered on her face after she wished her housemates goodnight and made her way up to the third year dorm room. She was still preoccupied by the last minute stare down she shared with Professor Lupin that she didn’t even think to steel herself against seeing Lavender and Parvati. The two girls stopped dead in their conversation and stared at Hermione as she smiled brightly at them and made her way to her bed to reorganize her books and put away the rest of her belongings. 

“What are you smiling about?” Lavender asked with hesitation. 

“Hm, what? Oh, just so happy to be back at school. To see everyone. All of you,” Hermione turned to look at the girls who were now eyeing her suspiciously. It then occurred to Hermione that the girls probably didn’t expect her to come into the room in such a good mood. Happy people not making easy targets and all that. 

“Well, yeah. So. Oh, I got your article over the summer…” Parvati started to walk towards Hermione’s bed shaking off Lavender’s hand, “I have to say I don’t normally think muggle magazines really capture different hair types well, but some of the advice offered was actually good. Sorry I didn’t write back. My parents decided we were going to India for the summer and I got your owl the night before we left.”

Parvati sat down on Hermione’s bed shooting Lavender a mom glare if ever there was one. 

“Oh right. I think I was so in shock that you were able to understand the concept it must have slipped my mind to write you back,” Lavender was attempting to be friendly.

Hermione could work with that. 

With a deep sigh Parvati continued, “anyway one thing missing from the article was that curly and thick hair really needs hydration. Now that we can go into Hogsmeade we should look into some potions that will help with all day moisture.”

Both girls looked at Hermione. 

“That… that would be fun. Exactly what I need actually. I still have a lot of questions about the charms you guys talk about too,” Hermione was cautious. Were the girls actually talking to her and inviting her to hang out with them? Had they been drugged?

“Well, great that’s settled. This year in Charms we’ll start learning so many more charms that we can use for our skin. I can’t wait to learn a self tanning charm,” Lavender was excited. She was also sitting on Hermione’s bed and talking to her. 

“Can I ask you girls something?” Hermione spoke quietly while turning away. 

“Hermione I swear on my life if you ask what class we’re most excited about this year I’ll pitch myself out of the window,” Lavender’s quick comebacks never failed. 

“Actually the windows are charmed so we can’t throw objects or ourselves out of them,” Hermione said. 

Both girls rolled their eyes.

“What do you want to know?” Parvati laughed. 

“Tonight at dinner… did either of you see any boys you thought were cute?” Hermione whispered. 

“Oh my god! She’s a girl! I thought she was a statue this whole time! Come one Lav say hello to Hermione’s sex drive!” Parvati practically screamed. 

If Hermione thought she had blushed on the train with Professor Lupin what was happening to her now was a full on blood rush to her face and neck. Nothing could be as embarrassing as this moment. 

“Stop Pav. Well of course. Callum was still looking quite fit. But he said he would write to me over the summer and he did. Once. To ask what I wore to bed,” Lavender blushed while trying her best to look crossed. 

“And let me guess you told him?” Parvati took her best friend hiding her face in her hands as a yes and swatted at her arm, “You dirty trollop. 10 points from Gryfinndor.” 

Hermione laughed along with the girls, but stopped when she was asked why the questions.

“I mean it’s just so unlike you Hermione,” Parvati nudged her. 

“Well I guess, I know boys our age are so cruel. Look at Draco,” Hermione couldn’t finish her sentence. 

“Hermione! God how can you still be hung up on him,” Lavender was screaming. Actually screaming. 

“No, no. I’m not. He’s gross. I’m just saying he’s an example of how they all are. So my question is how can you tell that a boy likes you?” Hermione held her hands up in a stop motion trying to get the girls to come back to earth and answer her question quietly. 

“Okay, okay. First, Draco might be cruel. Pureblood heir and all that, but did you see how tall he got over the summer. I wouldn’t mind running my hands through that. Second, you shouldn’t compare boys to him. Boys like him would never be honest about their feelings so I don’t think someone like you would have to worry about exploring that dicey terrain.” Lavender said the second part gently, but Hermione understood what she was saying. Boys who are attractive like Draco Malfoy would never go after Hermione Granger. Mudblood or not. 

“So, you think I should just wait until a boy approaches me?” Hermione tried to shake off the backwards compliment of her dorm mate. 

“Well, Hermione, I say this with all due respect, but yes. Listen, we think it’s great that you’re actually trying with your hair and it looks like you really spent the summer working out. I mean it that is great. But…” Parvati looked down at her folded hands and cocked her head to the side to look at Lavender. 

“What she’s trying to say is you might just not be the kind of girl that boys like…” Lavender was always honest, but for the first time Hermione could tell her honesty wasn’t meant to be cruel. Didn’t help the way it smarted, but Hermione didn’t want the girls to see how hurt her feelings were on the first night. 

“Oh. I see. So you think I should just…” Hermione turned back around to finish her books. 

“Look, you heard us talking last year. These boys don’t want to talk about books or what we think. Hell many of them don’t even care what our middle names are. What I think we’re saying is get through school and get all the OWLs you can. Once you’re away from teenage boys I’m sure they’ll flock to you. Or you can try dating Harry or even Ron” Lavender was gentle, but the last statement was probing. 

“Oh Lavender please! I’ll lose my dinner. Well, no one knows more about dating then you two so I’ll take your word for it,” Hermione attempted to laugh and it must have worked because the two girls laughed along with her. 

“Hey! It’s not my fault. Draco is cute, but Ron? He’s so tall now. And his shoulders are really starting to get big. I love broad shoulders,” Lavender said in a voice that told the other two girls she was clearly in a far off daydream. 

“Now I know I’m going to be sick,” Hermione turned around to grab her bathroom bag when an owl stopped their laughter. 

Letting the owl in the girls looked at each other in confusion. It was after 9:00pm no one should be sending owls this late. 

Miss. Granger, 

Hope your first night back went well. Please come see me tomorrow at 7:00am. I know it is early, but we must discuss your timetable for the upcoming term. 

Professor McGongagll 

“It’s just from Professor McGonagall. She wants to discuss my timetable. Maybe she’ll let me in that 5th year Ancient Ruins class after all,” Hermione squeaked out her excitement looking at the two girls still perched on her bed. 

“We wish you the best of luck in your swotty adventures,” Parvati laughed and this time the joke actually did come across as funny. Hermione could tell a new chapter was being turned. 

Hermione grabbed her bathroom bag again and headed out the door to do her nighttime routine. This time as the door closed to just a crack she didn’t hear anything. Standing there she allowed herself to smile and take a deep breath. Just as she was about to walk to the bathroom she heard Parvati rise from her bed and speak to Lavender. 

“It was really nice of you to tell Hermione that she’ll fine a more mature man outside of school. And her hair really does look better.”

Hermione smiled widened at the girl’s comment. 

“Well I had to say something. What was I suppose to do? Look at the girl and say boys aren’t interested in you because your looks are lacking and your personality is a mood killer? I mean she can’t be so naive as to think there’s a member of the male population in a 20 mile radius who would be interested in spending one on one time with her? What man do you know wants to be corrected all the time and bossed around. What did Seamus say about her tonight at dinner? ‘She might have fixed her hair, but she’ll always be a double bagger,’” Lavender spoke matter of factly, but she had a hint of resignation in her voice. Or was it, yes it was, Hermione was hearing someone speak of her romantic prospects with pity. 

“Yeah, what in the hell is a double bagger?” Parvati was the first to laugh. 

“You know, put two bags on her head while you fuck so if one falls off there’s another one so you don’t have to see her face.”

With that both girls erupted into peels of laughter. 

Hermione decided to walk away lest she hear anymore useful advice about herself. As she was conducting her nightly routine she couldn’t forget the most important step and what was becoming a tradition. On the first night back at Hogwarts Hermione cried in the shower before going to sleep. 

The next morning Hermione woke before the other girls in her dorm and quietly got dressed. She found herself in the bathroom taking extra care, more so than ever before, on her hair and robes. Perhaps she could look a bit less like a mess. 

She went back to the dorms and grabbed her school bag and was walking out of the dorm when she heard a raspy “‘Mione?” from one of the girls. Pretending not to hear she rushed out of the room, through the portrait, and made her way her head of house’s office. 

Hermione took a deep breath to calm herself. She knew her Professor would be able to pick up on any hint of discomfort and would either make a display of trying to fix it for the young witch or worse tell her to buck up. She raised her hand to knock on the door just as it slowly opened revealing the smiling face of Professor McGonagall sitting behind her desk. 

“Oh, Miss Granger. Perfect timing. I was just finishing up your timetable.”

Hermione walked into the office and sat opposite the witch she so admired. She took the parchment that was offered to her and immediately confusion etched its way into her face. 

“But Professor… this timetable says I’m to take Divinations and Ancient Ruins at the same time. And I see it’s third year ancient ruins.” Hermione couldn’t hide the pout that formed on her lips. 

“Miss Granger please. I expect more from you than simpleton behavior.” Professor McGonagall peered at her over her half moon glasses. 

With a mumbled apology Hermione straightened up and looked back at the timetable and again up at her Professor. 

“Miss Granger, what do you know, if anything, about time turners?”

The professor had gotten up from her seat and moved to a small cabinet in the corner of the room situated behind a large bookcase. 

“I know they’re extremely rare. And you have to be licensed to use one which is impossible because the Ministry almost never gives them out. However, there are a couple of turners that have existed since before that law was enacted and the Ministry couldn’t find them all or left them in the trusted hands of the owners,” Hermione spoke as if reading directly from a textbook. 

“Yes exactly. This Hermione is a time turner. One that existed before the laws were enacted. It is thought to have belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw, but we can’t be sure. It was left to the school so that promising students could take more classes. To be frank, it has rarely been used. In fact the last time it was used was by myself in my 6th year so I could take an extra class,” Professor McGonagall let a small smile grace her face as she thought back to her own school days, “And now I’m giving it to you. To borrow of course. You’ll see your time table is extensive. I know you wanted to take harder courses, but I thought you might be okay with extra classes. This year. Next year we can revisit the advanced classes conversation.” 

“Professor. I’m shocked. Wow. Thank you so much,” Hermione couldn’t contain her excitement and gratitude for being allowed this opportunity. 

“Now, no one must know. Miss Granger I cannot begin to explain how much this secret must be kept. Playing with time is a dangerous game. You will be the youngest witch to ever use one of these. Only you and I and of course Professor Dumbledore will know of your use. Even your Professors, for their safety, will not be informed. Do you understand?” Professor McGonagall had never looked so serious. Hermione nodded her head so hard she felt her hair mess. Surely the Professor knew that Hermione knew about the dangers of time travel already. 

“Come. Let me show you how it works. You’ll be expected to use it today.”

The first week of classes were always Hermione’s favorite time. With the added usage of the time turner it was more important than ever that she stay on top of her studies and revisions. When she wasn’t in class she spent her time in the library mapping out exactly how to manage the extra workload. Harry and Ron couldn’t help but begin the teasing early while also asking her for help on their own essays. 

Her concentration was unmatched. She had never been so focused in her life. That is unless she was working on Defense Against the Dark Arts. Hermione would go into the class and swear that time sped up at an almost alarming rate. Before she knew it class was being dismissed and she was being elbowed by one of the boys to hurry and pack up so they could head back to the common room. 

By the third day Hermione was in distress as she had been forgetting to take detailed notes in the class. This class period she barely got two lines written. Hermione was distracted. Professor Lupin would spend the first week just talking to the class. He would make gestures with his arms that while long and lean, like the rest of his body, looked strong. His hands were wide and she noticed how small his wand looked in them, but he still moved it with grace. Under his robes he wore broken in clothing that looked soft and homely. Not in an unattractive way, but in a scholarly way. Judging by the amount of books the man had scattered around his classroom she could tell he valued education and reading. 

And when he would walk pass her during his lectures? Hermione could smell the forest and manly scent from that day on the train. Every time she was in the library and opened a book her mind would take her back to grazing the front of her body against his in the narrow corridor. By Friday Hermione was starting to panic. She had barely any notes from the week and she could tell exhaustion was setting in from her week of time hoping. She was in a far away world imaging her Professor back in the train hallway talking to her about his latest book find while instead of walking pass him she stayed right in front of him. 

“Hermione?” Professor Lupin spoke softly in her ear. She jumped ever so slightly at the close contact. 

“Professor? I’m so sorry. I must have been in thought,” She tried to recover, but she knew he knew she wasn’t paying attention. 

“I said class was dismissed and you haven’t moved.”

Hermione looked as the others had mostly packed up and Ron and Harry were looking at her trying to get her to move along. 

“Oh right, of course. Interesting lecture.” Hermione spoke quickly. Just as she moved to put her books away Professor Lupin gently held down her arm. Turning to the boys he dismissed them with a causal “Hermione will be right along boys.” 

“Hermione, I’ve heard about how hard you push yourself during the school year,” Professor Lupin was still crouched down next to her looking into her brown eyes. Hermione was trying her best to keep her breathing even and her heart rate from going through the roof. 

“It’s important to have goals, Professor,” Hermione spoke just as softy. 

“Of course. But I hope this class can be educational and fun. Please don’t exhaust yourself before you get here. Now run along,” With that Professor Lupin removed his hand from her arm. Hermione immediately missed the warmth from his hand, but couldn’t deny the feeling of heat behind her navel. She felt that familiar twist she got whenever he was around her. 

The witch slowly packed up her bag and made for the door. “Oh and Hermione? You’re not in trouble. Try not to look like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t be.”

Professor Lupin smiled at her and let out a little laugh. Hermione fled from the class and ran to the nearest bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and waited for her breathing to return to normal. 

Hermione spent the weekend trying to reign in her embarrassment from Friday’s class. Harry and Ron only probed once about her absence of mind that night at dinner and after brushing them off, rather harshly, they didn’t ask again. She spent the weekend away from them in the library or her bed with the curtain closed. Only seeing them at dinner. Pointedly refusing to look up at the Professors' table. 

The second week started with a whirlwind of a Monday. Hermione wasn’t sure if accepting the gift of the time turner was the smartest thing to do, but she wanted Professor McGonagall to be proud of her so she kept her reservations to herself. By Wednesday her mind was so occupied by thoughts of homework and revisions that she longed for anything to be a distraction. 

In Defense Against the Dark Arts that afternoon Professor Lupin came in with a huge grin on his face. He sat his books down on the desk he rarely sat at and told the students to stand against a wall. With a quick wave of his wand the desk had vanished and the schools bags and discarded robes were hung up by the door. Again, Hermione couldn’t help but be impressed by his wordless spells and his graceful wand flourishes. 

“Today class we will begin to actually learn Defensive spells,” Professor Lupin’s smile never faltered. The class hummed with excitement as students whispered to their friends about what they hoped they would learn, “Settle down now. Settle down. To start with today we will learn how to cast a simple protection charm. Basic, but one of the most necessary charms in any duel or battle.” 

“Pansy ass probably got through the war casting protection charms,” Draco Malfoy snickered directly behind Hermione to his cronies. She didn’t know what got into her, but next thing she knew she had stomped on his foot. Hard. 

“Fucking mudblood. What was that for?” Draco groaned. He held back Crabbe and Goyle; not wanting to start a scene, “You’re lucky I don’t want to miss the first Hogsmeade trip. Watch your back.” 

Hermione shot him a cold glare and turned back to face her Professor who was staring right at her. With a simple nod of his head his attention was back on the class. 

“Alright everyone. Find a spot facing the wall. That’s right. The charm is protego. You move your arm like this.” Professor Lupin demonstrated the charm and cast a beautiful blue shield around his whole body. Like he was in a snow globe Hermione thought. 

The class began practicing. Naturally Harry got it on his first real attempt. Shutting down her jealousy Hermione went to try again for the third time. It was then that she noticed Professor Lupin was walking around helping his students find the right position. Noticing the blue light coming from her wand she quickly ended the spell and for the first time in her life made a rash decision. Hermione Granger pretended she didn’t know what she was doing. She “cast” three more times with nothing happening. 

Ron stared at her with an open mouth. Harry approached her slowly with a look of clear uncertainty of his face, “Here Hermione let me help…” Harry was reaching for her. 

“No! I can do it. God Harry not everyone is incapable in this class.” Hermione knew she was mean, but she was frustrated. 

Harry backed off with a murmured apology and shrugged his shoulders at Ron. Within 3 minutes Professor Lupin had made his way over to the struggling witch. 

“Hermione, what seems to be the problem.” The teacher seemed genuinely concerned that a star student wasn’t able to master such an easy spell. 

“Nothing, I’m just struggling a bit. It’s nothing I’m sure someone else could use your help more,” Hermione smiled up at him as he stood next to her. 

“I’m everyones teacher including yours. I was warned you were headstrong. Now, let me see what you got.” Lupin waved his hand in a motion for her to try again while his other hand rubbed his chin. Hermione noticed the stubble growing and knew it would be rough to the touch, but not painful she thought. 

Shaking her head clear of her confusing thoughts Hermione once again attempted to cast the spell and again didn’t manage the shield. 

“Okay, I think I see the problem. You need to move your arm like this.” Professor Lupin was behind her now. Standing with his front to her back. He gently took his arm and placed it along the length of her wand arm. He began to bend the arm into the correct formation for the spell. Hermione tried her best to pay attention, but his smell was invading her nose. The old book smell and the earthy aroma that made her think of a forest at night just after its rained was making her head cloudy yet she couldn’t move away. She could feel his robes gently moving against her calves as he moved her arm and sent a kind of tickle up her spine. Except not up her spine. Up the back of her legs and right into the warm tightening feeling behind her navel again. Hermione could feel herself heating up all over. Her face was hot again, but more concerning was the warmth she felt in her lower body. Her mouth went dry and her excitement at her Professor touching her turned to confusion and dread as she felt warmth pool between her legs. What was happening to her? Surely he wouldn’t notice if she just took a small step back towards him. Just to get a bit closer. His body temperature was so warm. Just as she took the smallest of shuffles back into him she felt Professor Lupin breathe in. 

“Looks like you got the motion. Go ahead and practice on your own. Ask Harry for help if you need it.” Professor Lupin dropped her arm and gave a familiar tap on her shoulder to signal that he was done with her. Just like that all the warmth was gone. Hermione stood in the same position that she was in when he was holding her arm. She looked back, but he was already on to helping Crabbe, the lost cause. 

With a disgruntled whisper Hermione said “protego” and the shield burst forth. Inside her bubble she took slow deep breaths trying to calm herself down. What was happening to her and what were these feelings?

It was another week before Hermione had a chance to focus on her DADA professor again. As soon as she left his class the week before embarrassment crept in and made a home for itself in her mind and heart. It didn’t help that that night at dinner Pansy Parkinson declared Hermione would be the first killed in a battle as she couldn’t even protect herself. That earned her 3 nights detention. 

“Don’t worry about it Hermione. She doesn’t know what you have going on in your mind. You were just distracted. She can barely get two sentences together with Malfoy around,” Lavender snickered.

Hermione hated to admit it, but having the girls pick on a new target made her feel better and yet worse because it made her feel included. She badly wanted to ask the girls how they knew they liked a boy, but she was so happy with how the friendship was progressing she didn’t want to have to overhear another unfortunate line of how much they pitied her. By Friday she had supposed it didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t just her dorm mates telling her she was what Seamus Finnigan called a double bagger. Multiple people had been basically saying the same thing since she started at Hogwarts. She tried to put everything but her schoolwork out of her mind. 

Which brought her back to Thursday’s DADA class. She was late. She was still perfecting the time turner and she was running at least 3 minutes late to all her classes. The only thing going for her was no one seemed to notice so far. No one except Ron of course. Hermione fell back on the old adage of making him feel like he was oblivious to her presence and that he was once again not paying attention to his surroundings. It worked every time. 

When she walked into DADA her classmates were standing around an old wardrobe that was shaking as if a volatile creature was dying to get out. Professor Lupin opened the door and gave each student a turn at battling the Boggart. Most fears were common and the end results were funny - except the jack in the box. Creepy. When Harry stepped up for his turn the Boggart turned into a dementor that screamed at him. The screams echoed throughout the classroom. 

“Here!” Professor Lupin shouted at it. The Boggart immediately shifted and was gone after the Professor cast the counter spell. It was Hermione’s turn. 

“Alright that’s enough for today. Too much of a good thing I’m afraid.”

Professor Lupin dismissed the class. Hermione couldn’t help the disappointed pout that contoured her face. She knew it looked childish, but she couldn’t help it. This was practical experience after all. 

With the students filing out Hermione lagged behind. She told Ron and Harry that she would meet them in the Great Hall for dinner as she needed to get notes and ask Lupin about test preparation. She stayed behind. 

“Hermione. Run along now. End of day.” Professor Lupin smiled at her dismissively and turned around trying to end the conversation before it even started. 

“Professor,” Hermione was standing right behind him. She wouldn’t even have to extend her arm to touch the middle of his back. 

“Hermione. I must insist you go on now. I have a lot of work to catch up on,” Professor Lupin busied his hands at his desk. 

“I know. I don’t want to impose, but I was hoping I could have a turn at the Boggart?” Hermione asked timidly. She wanted him to say yes. After her fumbling of such a basic spell last week she wanted to prove to him that she could accomplish something within class time. 

“Perhaps another time…”

“Please, Professor. Just one try and then I’ll go.”

Professor Lupin turned to see the girl staring up at him with wide hopeful eyes. With a slight eye roll his shoulders sagged and Hermione knew he was going to give in. 

“Alright one try. Riddikulus. Yes?” Professor Lupin moved back to the wardrobe as Hermione sternly nodded her head. He opened the door. 

The Boggart came out in a black cloud and quickly zeroed in on the 13 year old. Instantly it transformed into Hermione? Hermione, but an older version. She was 30 and alone. Then she was 40 and still alone. Then she was 60 and still alone. The Boggart took on the shape of an older Lavender and Parvati shaking their heads at Hermione while they themselves were surrounded by grandchildren. 

“Poor girl. What a pity. I mean we tried, but in the end we knew from the first day. No one wants that. I mean it’s not like she could help being born looking that way, but she didn’t even try to help herself,” Lavender looked down at her as one would a pitiful creature. 

“Lavender stop. You’re so shallow. It’s not all about looks. I mean her personality is just as much to blame as anything else. I thought that at one point she could get Harry or Ron to at least pity fuck her, but I don’t know if they even see her as a girl,” Parvati smiled while talking to one of her grandchildren. 

Hermione tried to say the spell. She thought she even tried to raise her wand, but no. She was frozen in place. She could tell she was crying. Her tears had come down her face in such a waterfall that the front of her robe was soaked through and her undershirt was clinging to her chest. Professor Lupin stepped in front of her and again said the counter spell and sent the Boggart back into the wardrobe. 

“Hermione…” Professor Lupin looked like he wanted to say something, but was too uncomfortable to get the words out. His young student stared up at him with huge watery eyes as tears continued to stream down her face. When she finally released her lips from the hard pressed line she had been holding them in they were red and swollen from the tension. 

“Hermione,” he tried again “you’re too young to be thinking that way. You never know what the future might hold. You can’t let teenage girls get under your skin this way. You’re smarter than that.”

The teacher was being gentle with her she could tell. She knew it was her turn to speak and assure him that yes, even she knew this fear was silly and she was above all that nonsense. What she said instead surprised both of them. 

“I am smarter than that. And I’ll be left all alone.”

Professor Lupin went to respond, but the girl gathered her stuff and ran as fast as she could out of the classroom. 

Chapter Text

Third Year 

Hermione felt like the same twelve year old from First Year hiding in the far cubicle of the bathroom crying her eyes out. She could not believe in her desperate attempt to get closer to the DADA Professor she allowed herself to become so vulnerable. How would he look at her now that he’s seen what she thinks of herself. What will he think when he realizes this isn’t a measly feeling she has, but a cold truth that she has lived with for two years? 

Pathetic. 

That’s exactly what she thought of herself as she looked in the bathroom mirror and stared back at herself. In an uncontrolled moment of self pity, Hermione couldn’t help it, she wondered why the Professor effected her so. She had never wanted to be so close to one of her teachers before and to actively pretend to not know how to cast a simple protection charm? Her body was responding to the Professor in a way she was unfamiliar with and on some level it scared her. 

Her first thought was to go straight to the library, but Hogwarts really frowned on students learning biology. What kind of school doesn’t offer some type of health class, Hermione thought bitterly. A hold over of pureblood culture that still controlled most of the older generations no doubt. And there was no way, zero chance, of Hermione asking Madam Pince to order her a book. That conversation in of itself would probably kill her. Hermione would just have to find another way to learn the information. 

Splashing cold water on her face one more time and drying it she smoothed her hair down and tried to look well enough to leave the bathroom. She had been in there for an hour and a half and the student body was already at dinner. Opening the door she took one more deep breath and tried to, casually as possible, walk out. Turning to head to the common room she came face to face with Draco Malfoy. Who for the first time that she had ever seen was alone in the corridor. 

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the Brightest Bitch of her Age. All alone and, yes, crying in the bathroom again. At this point Granger they might as well establish your residency in the toilet. Not unfitting.” 

The blonde had walked up to her, and Lavender was right he had gotten much taller over the summer. He looked down on her, in more ways than one, and had one of the deepest sneers on his face. Hermione couldn’t help but wonder if every boy in the school felt as disgusted by her and he was the only one who was willing to be as open about it. 

“Shove off Malfoy. Don’t you have a first year to bully?” Hermione tried to walk around him but his quick reflexes made it so she was stuck behind his arm trapped next to the wall. 

“Listen here you grotesque mudblood I don’t need your help in class and I don’t need you feeling sorry for me demanding teachers take care of me,” Draco was talking in such a low voice she couldn’t help the fear it ignited in her. 

This was about Care of Magical Creatures. Buckbeak had taken a swipe at Malfoy for being Malfoy. As a result he ended up with actual injuries. A dislocated elbow and some pretty severe lacerations. Hermione had demanded that Hagrid take him to hospital so he could be treated. Even though it was his own fault Hermione was horrified by the attack and knew Malfoy needed to be seen. Regardless of how terrible the impending consequences would be for Hagrid. 

“Malfoy I… okay. I was scared when it happen. I just reacted. I…” Hermione was stammering. 

“Yeah you were scared. Maybe you were scared at how much you enjoyed watching it happen? The pureblood getting knocked down a peg,” Malfoy was still snarling in her ear, “if you were so scared about the attack why were you walking after Hagrid like a puppy. Following me to hospital so you could what? Enjoy more of the show. Too bad you missed my elbow being reset.” 

“Malfoy no! I would never think that way. I’m sorry okay? Next time I’ll just let the creatures in class kill you,” Hermione finally gathered her courage enough to sneer back. It didn’t last very long as she saw a flicker of surprise and sadness float through his eyes. Maybe she imagined it as it was gone as quickly as she had seen it, “oh no. I can’t believe I said that. I’m so sorry Malfoy I didn’t mean…” 

Hermione put her hand right below his shoulder resting more on his chest. 

“Don’t,” Draco’s voice was flat, “you said it. The difference between us Granger is I mean what I say. Had you been raised better you would have known how to conduct yourself and not act like a rambling deranged idiot.” 

Hermione stared at him for a second and he didn’t break her eye contact. The weight of his words, of his insults, capped her day. He dropped his arm and she took off down the hall. He didn’t watch her leave and she didn’t look back at him. Neither of them realized that he had never moved her hand.

Hermione decided to skip dinner that night. Too exhausted from the emotional day and already knowing the taxing weekend ahead she decided to do something she never does. Take a night off. With everyone gone at dinner Hermione went into the bathroom, locked the doors, and took a bath. It wasn’t against the rules to use the bath, but it was generally frowned on. Occupying the whole bathroom for that much time was just unfair to the other girls. Hermione took in a novel and was 6 chapters in when she heard someone trying to get in. 

“Um whoever is in there you’ve been in there for like 2 hours,” Lavender’s girlish voice rang out.  

“Crap.” Hermione realized between reading and zoning out she must have stayed much longer than the 30 minutes she was planning on. She was stuck. She hadn’t actually washed her body yet and her hair desperately needed to be shampooed. So she unlocked the door. Lavender walked in and stopped dead in her tracks surprised that Hermione was in the bath. Hermione was surprised she was alone. 

“Thanks. I just need to use the bathroom. Take your time though because everyone else is downstairs.” 

If it had to be anyone to walk in Lavender was probably the best. She had no shame when it came to her body. Which judging by how she flaunted it made sense as she was what mothers referred to as early bloomers. She was gorgeous. 

Hermione realized she hadn’t made a sound and was just looking at the girl as she walked out of the toilet and was washing her hands. Lavender turned to her and kindly said “Hermione, there’s nothing to be shy about. I mean listen we all have the same parts right? You don’t have to be embarrassed by your body.” 

She was doing that thing again where she sounded nice, but she was spewing nasty words. “Embarrassed?” Hermione’s voice broke. 

“Yeah? I mean you’ll get tits eventually. You can’t stay built like a 7 year old boy forever right?” Lavender giggled, “or maybe you can that does happen.” 

With that she turned and walked out leaving Hermione to lower herself further into the bath. As soon as the door was locked again she let all the water out of the bath and then refilled it with the hottest water she could stand. Her skin was turning a frightening shade of red, but Hermione wanted to feel clean. Plus with the sweatiness the hot water was causing Hermione couldn’t discern if the water on her skin were her tears or from the bathtub.

After another hour Hermione got out and made her way to her bed. No one was in the dorm thankfully. She closed the curtains and casted a silencio around so they couldn’t hear her. She continued to read her book and drift over the last two weeks. Some point in the night she laid awake sleep evading her. Parvati and Lavender walked in giggling over Dean Thomas. Apparently he had told Lavender she looked nice today and that he was impressed by Parvati’s charm abilities. 

“Hey, why do you think Professor’s Lupin boggart was a crystal ball?” Parvati asked. The girls had recently gotten very into Divinations; an utterly useless subject. Hermione tried her best not to snort, but she did roll her eyes. 

“I don’t know. I mean look at him. I think it’s safe to say he’s had a spotted past, right? Maybe he’s scared of what his future holds. Now that he’s a teacher here he’ll probably go the same way as McGonagall and Snape. Alone,” Lavender sounded exhausted, but had it in her to list off some others she thought would be alone forever. How astute of her. 

The girls didn’t talk about anything else after that. Nothing that Hermione would consider worthy conversation. She rolled over and attempted to fall asleep. 

The whole weekend Hermione spent trying to sleep and not being able to. Then she found herself cramming in information for her classes like a mad woman. She knew she wouldn’t be able to keep this up. She needed something besides school and misery. 

Every night before sleep finally came Hermione thought the same thing - these dimwits she calls roommates can’t tell the difference between a crystal ball and a full moon.

One week. It had been one whole week of avoiding and not looking at Professor Lupin. Holding her breath when he walked by her in order to not smell the man she was so drawn to. Finally it was Friday morning. One more day of classes and then she would be free for the weekend and a trip to Hogsmeade. That morning at breakfast Harry had gone on and on about how he was going to beg McGonagall to sign his permission slip so he could go. Hermione lended him an encouraging “hmmm” before going back to her studies. The boys continued to talk about Quidditch and everything this year would bring. The dementors close to the grounds were not helping build excitement for outdoor activity. Just as Hermione was about to get up to leave for class Harry pulled her back down on the bench. 

“Come on you really think we would forget? …again,” He added the last part quietly. Hermione shot them a quizzical look. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” The boys yelled. Hermione immediately broke out in a blush as the students in the Great Hall turned to look at her. Even the Professors, enjoying their breakfast, turned to look down at the trio. 

“Thank you guys. I must have forgot the date. Oh what’s this?” The boys were pulling out presents from under the table. Her father had sent her two new novels that had been released since she left the house. Her mother sent her a perfume, simple makeup, and clothes she can wear to Hogsmeade. As Hermione looked at the gifts her mother’s words rang in her ears “this year everything can be different.” 

“Here.” Ron thrusted two packages towards her. One was large and squishy. Opening it it was from the Weasleys, made by Molly, a large blanket. One that has weight and could swallow you up. She knitted into the corner ‘For my darling girl on her 14th birthday. Love, Mummy Weasley.’ 

Hermione brought the blanket to her face to inhale it and to cover her tears. It smelled so much like the Burrow. The cloves and warmth of the fire. The fresh cut grass and Molly’s baked bread. She looked at Ron who was blushing. 

“Sorry about the Mummy part. You know how Mum is. Once she’s claimed you as her child there isn’t anything you can do to get out of her grasp. Careful she’ll kill for you.” 

The trio shared a laugh, but also shared a look of understanding how much love was in that woman’s heart and how much they pitied anyone who betrayed one of her children - Harry and Hermione being no exception. 

Opening the second present, from Ron, was a wizard photo of the three of them eating ice cream in Diagon Alley. Ron had his new wand and Hermione had just bought Croockshanks. They were so happy in the photo. “I thought since you only had muggle photos this could be your first wizard one.” Ron was still blushing. 

“I love it. Ron, I can’t even say how much I love it.” Hermione grasped his hand for a minute to show her appreciation. 

Harry set his box on the table in front of her. “I wasn’t as sure as Ron what to get you so I thought a variety of things? There’s one special thing though.” Harry was slightly laughing. 

Inside the box were a bunch of bits and bobs of Hermione’s favorite things. Her hair potion that she was about to be out of, her favorite quills and ink, new parchment that would automatically copy any notes written, and a couple of bath products - which Harry was quick to point out that Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati had helped him order. There was one box that was specially wrapped. After carefully removing the lid Hermione pulled out a a silver tennis bracelet. No inscription. She looked at Harry with a raised eyebrow. 

“Harry, this is wonderful. Too much in fact. Both of you. This bracelet. It’s so delicate. How did you know I would love it?” Hermione was putting it on. 

“I bought it at Diagon Alley. The woman at the shop said it will get warm when the person who wears it is thinking about the same topic for too long. I thought since you had your revision tables done you can tell the bracelet how long to let you work on a subject and then you’ll know it’s time to move on.” Harry was so happy that she was happy. 

Hermione quickly ran back to the common room to drop off the gifts. She couldn’t help her good mood all day. Would she always feel giddy when the boys reaffirmed that she mattered to them? She didn’t know, but she felt that way today. She was in DADA as her last class of the day and she couldn’t help the permanent smile that had been etched on her face. Not even Malfoy’s obnoxious comment about her mouth having to stay open because her large teeth took up too much room could spoil her mood. 

Class was an excellent lecture. She took her usual pristine notes and when Professor Lupin dismissed the class she allowed herself one last slow glance over his body and began packing up her things. She wanted to get to dinner as the boys had promised her birthday celebrations that night in the common room. 

“Hermione, just a moment?” Professor Lupin called for her. 

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks and taking a steadying breath turned around and approached the Professor standing by his desk. She waited while he bid farewell to all the other students and then closed the door. Hermione’s breath was shallow. She didn’t know what was going to happen, but excitement ran through her body. She took a small step towards him. Always trying to get as close to him as she could. 

“I have something for you,” Professor Lupin looked down at her. She thought she saw him make an attempt to take a step back, but the desk was blocking his movement. Clearing his throat he continued speaking, “a little bird told me that it was your birthday. 13, right?” 

“Oh yes. Wait no,” Hermione looked at the confusion on his face. “I mean yes today is my birthday, but no I’m 14.” Hermione tried to swallow, but her mouth had gone dry. 

“14,” The teacher spoke it so quietly, “Well, I have something for you. Here.” Professor Lupin held out a package wrapped in thick brown parchment. 

Hermione, taking the object, allowed her hands to overlap his and slowly take the package. As soon as she did it she knew she did something wrong. Hermione looked up at her Professor and could tell she had taken one step too far. She might not know everything she’s feeling or why she’s feeling it, but she knew in that moment, that touching him like that cross some line. 

“Open it,” Professor Lupin spoke. His mouth was moving, but his body was frozen. He looked afraid of her. He looked like he wanted to run, but he was stuck. Hermione used her finger to open the package and just like over the summer, slit a paper cut in it again. She hissed at the pain and instantly brought her finger up to her mouth to suck the blood away. 

With her finger still in her mouth she looked up at him again. His mouth had gone slightly agape and he was looking at her in a mixture of horror and a need to help. 

“I seem to be creating a habit of getting paper cuts in the wizarding world,” Hermione tried to laugh to ease the tension. 

She leaned forward to place the parchment on his desk. She knew she had already crossed one boundary so she figured she might as well test another thought in her head. As she leaned forward to put the parchment on the desk she allowed the front of her body to almost rest against the front of his body. She closed her eyes for just one second as all of her thoughts about his body sprang from the dark corners of her mind. He was tall and lanky, but his body wasn’t skinny or scrawny. He was hard with well crafted muscles under his cardigan and button down. This close the teenage girl could get his scent on her clothes. She felt intoxicated. She knew she had to lean back. Remove herself from him. She held the gifted book in front of her and placed her eyes on it so it would appear that she had hesitated because she was already reading the title. 

‘Fear Based Curses and How to Break Them’ 

Hermione gave a giggle. Then mentally cursed herself at how much she sounded just like all the other Hogwarts girls, “Thank you, Professor. This is amazing. Thank you so much for thinking of me.” Hermione chanced another look up at him. 

Except the man looking back at her wasn’t her Professor. His face had gone cold and distant. His eyes were hard as if she had offended him. His mouth was set in a straight line. 

“Yes, well I thought it would be useful for you,” He was curt. It made her take a step back. That seemed to put him at ease. All doubts left her mind and she knew she had done something wrong in this meeting. 

“Perhaps, I can read it and ask you about it sometime after class?” Hermione tried to bring the warmth back to his face. 

“We’ll see. Try to just enjoy it. I don’t have much time for you after class. Enjoy Hogsmeade this weekend Miss Granger.” 

With that Professor Lupin turned back towards his desk and went around and took a heavy seat in his chair. He grabbed a handful of papers and began his grading process. She knew she was being dismissed. She slowly gathered her things and walked towards the door. 

Quietly she said, “thank you again, Professor. It really is nice to know you think of me.” 

“I don’t think of -“ Professor Lupin tried to snap back, but his student was already gone. 

That night as Hermione showered and replayed her interaction with her Professor, leaving out the unfortunate ending, she kept going over the feeling of his body pressed up against hers. As she washed down her body she felt the all too familiar warmth and tightening that she grown accustomed to when she was around Lupin. For the first time, Hermione took her small hand and slowly pushed it between her legs and felt herself. She pulled her hand away just as slowly, slightly rubbing the tight bundle of nerve at the top, what she knew to be her clit. A small inhale of breath from the feeling. As she looked at her hand in the light she could see the warm feeling she had also came with a transparent slickness. Quickly, she washed it off and finished her shower in a clinical manner.

Just as she predicted Harry was denied permission to attend the Hogsmeade trip. Hermione and Ron spent the first hour talking about how badly they felt for him and the next hour talking about ways to get him to join them next time. Ron, always outlandish, talked about sending one of his older brothers to beat up the Dursleys in order to get them to sign the permission slip. 

They returned that night after spending a couple of hours looking through all the shops. Hermione was pleasantly surprised at how well she and Ron got on without Harry there. They were sharing an experience together that was new for both of them. Perhaps that led to the two being able to bond and carry on a conversation. Either way, it had been nice to reaffirm that she was in fact one of Ron’s best friends. 

When they met up with Harry in the common room he looked rather happy for someone who got publicly denied the school trip. 

“I had the best day!” Harry exclaimed. 

“That’s it. He’s gone ‘round the bend,” Ron muttered to Hermione, “Mate, it’s us. Ron and Hermione. This isn’t a dream. You’re at school.” Ron was speaking at an incredible volume drawing the laughter of the other kids around the room. 

“No, no listen. I spent the day with Professor Lupin.” Harry was smiling from ear to ear. Hermione felt a jealousy she had never known. What was happening to her? She was jealous of Harry for missing Hogsmeade? She quickly fixed her face with a smile and asked him to elaborate while she pulled out a book. While her attention wasn’t anywhere besides Harry talking about the teacher; she didn’t want to seem too invested in what he was doing on Saturday. 

“He knew my parents. But not just the way that every one says they know my parents. He was friends with my Dad and my Mum. Something about the way he says I have her eyes… it’s like he actually knows. I don’t know how to explain it. We’re connected the two of us,” Harry was thrilled. A real connection to his parents. 

Hermione scoffed. Harry looked at her with a mixture of impatience and anger. She had to recover quickly, “Sorry,” she cleared her throat, “I meant to say hmmm could he tell you anything about Sirius? It sounds like he’s really willing to trust you and open up to you.” 

The last part tasted like vinegar on her tongue. Never had Hermione been so jealous of her friend. For three weeks now all she wanted was for Professor Lupin to speak to her outside of class or show an interest in her life. ‘You’re not the Chosen One, stupid girl. Heir to the Lily and James Potter legacy.’ Hermione’s thoughts were growing bitter. She didn’t like that this was something she was capable of especially in regards to Harry. 

“I don’t know Hermione! That’s a brilliant idea. He said we could meet more frequently. I’ll ask him about it next time. He also told me he would teach me the charm to get rid of the dementors.” Harry and Ron looked like they won the World Qudditch cup. Hermione wondered if it was possible for her skin to turn red with rage or green with envy. Beyond those two emotions she was also feeling like an incredibly horrible person. This is a good thing for Harry and her own desires to spend time with Lupin were clouding her ability to be happy for her friend. Is this what was wrong with her personality? Is this who she really is and everyone else just noticed it before her? 

“Harry, I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. Plus you’re an ace at DADA. You’ll pick it up in no time and learn more about your parents? Better than Hogsmeade,” Hermione couldn’t tell if she was laying it on too thick or not, but judging by how excited Harry was it didn’t seem to matter. Good. Good, I am happy for him. Two things can be true at once. I can be happy for my friend while also sad for me. And the sadness was not far from Hermione’s thoughts. 

After another 10 minutes of Harry going on about how amazing Professor Lupin is Hermione needed to excuse herself. She told the boys she ate too much candy and would need to go to bed early as the sugar was hurting her stomach and giving her a headache. The truth being that she couldn’t stand to listen to someone else talk about how her favorite teacher wasn’t shy about his relationship with students. He just didn’t want one with her. She hated how much she wanted to be Harry in that moment. No one should ever want Harry’s life and yet in that moment in the dark of the shower stall Hermione would have given anything to trade places with him.

It seemed that the weekends Hogsmeade trip had made every third year girl randier then ever. Everywhere Hermione looked for the next month girls had begun pairing off with boys and couples were becoming big news with their get togethers and breakups. Who would sit with whom was the topic in the dorm every morning. How the couples interacted throughout the day the topic every night. 

It was making Hermione sick. I mean, do all these people care about is coping a feel when they think no one is looking. 

By two weeks in, and several long weeks of self isolation that she didn’t have to try that hard at, and being completely ignored by Professor Lupin Hermione erupted on her dorm mates. 

Lavender and Parvati were once again going on about which boys have been talking to them lately, who they think will ask them to the next Hogsmeade trip, and who they like. 

“Will the two of you shut up!” Hermione yelled at them. Parvati jumped up from the bed in fright and Lavender’s mouth dropped open. Hermione instantly regretted what she said. 

“I’m, I’m so sorry. Lavender, Parvati. I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. Please forgive me. I’m stressed and I don’t think I’ve been sleeping well,” She was pleading. 

The truth being that Hermione was in fact stressed and hadn’t been sleeping well. Beyond the time turner giving her the spins and the course work breaking her down the young girl was falling more into self deprecation every day she had to walk into and out of DADA without even a look from her teacher. The raw truth is, Professor Lupin hadn’t spoken or looked at her since her birthday nearly three weeks before. She tried to throw her spell casting again to get him to help her and he just directed Harry to go to her aide. Didn’t even look at her while talking to him. On Thursday he asked Malfoy to help her. As he was showing her the wand movement he was whispering in her ear how there wouldn’t be enough hot water to cleanse his skin and how she smelled like vanilla and inferiority. 

Even after class as she was walking out and Malfoy purposefully tripped her causing her to fall, her belongings scattering everywhere, causing her knee to bust open and bleed profusely. Professor Lupin merely looked at Malfoy and told him to leave his class. From her place on the floor she had stared up at him, looking at him not looking at her, and openly cried. All sense of shame must have left her. Harry and Ron had come to her and were helping her up. She was leaning on them in order to get to the hospital ward. Perhaps after so little time spent with Hermione Professor Lupin had figured out she was’t worth spending much more time on? He was told she was a brilliant student, but she knew she wasn’t exactly performing during the practical part of class. She had been cast out so quickly. 

Back in her dorm Hermione tried to convey how sorry she was through her facial expression. 

“It’s okay Hermione. We’ve noticed you’ve been up earlier and earlier,” Parvati tried to smooth over the situation. 

“Uh, no we’re not just going to fly by that as if the return of Hermit Hermione isn’t something we all expected,” Lavender was irate, “What Hermit? Try to get Malfoy to kiss you and got told about yourself? Now you’re pissing on everyone else’s fun -“ 

“Lav..” 

“No, Parvati. We’ve been telling her, kindly might I add, since First Year that she should give it up while being so far behind. Now we’re sitting here enjoying our lives and the fact that we actually have boys show interest in us and we’re going to allow little Miss Bitch of the Year every year ruin it?” Lavender was on a roll. 

“Lavender, I really am sorry.” Hermione was close to crying. It seemed like all she did anymore was cry. She never really fit in, but this year at Hogwarts proved how little she really had to offer besides books and cleverness. 

“I don’t care. You want to waste away in here hiding from everyone you can do it. But don’t act like you’re better just because you read a thousand books last year,” Lavender was staring her down. Hermione nodded her head as she usually did when Lavender was angry with her and grabbed her bathroom bag and ran for the shower. 

“For God’s sake Lav what the fuck was that? We get it, the girl is weird. She’s just…different. But for the love of everything magic do you have to remind her every day that she’s ugly and her personality is for the birds?” Parvati was defending her? 

“I know, I know. I just hate that she acts so much better than us. That liking boys and make up is some how indicative of not having a brain,” Lavender made a good point. 

Hermione left the door and went to the bathroom. She knew she was stuck up. She knew she thought reading and schoolwork made her better than others. She just didn’t realize that she projected that so much. She owed the girls in her dorm a real apology.

“Hermione? It’s Parvati can I talk to you?” Parvati called her softly from outside the shower stall. 

Hermione opened the door, still dressed, and sat on the bench in the middle of the bathroom. “I really am sorry” she was stopped by Pav’s hand in the air. 

“What’s going on? You are stressed. And you aren’t sleeping,” Parvati sounded like she actually cared. Hermione took a chance. 

“Pav, can I ask you something?” Hermione was more than hesitant. She didn’t want to do be doing this, but with no one else to ask what was she suppose to do? 

“Okay…” Parvati didn’t trust her. She didn’t trust the girl to not talk badly about Lavender and as her best friend she didn’t want to hear it. 

“I know what you guys think about boys liking me and that’s totally fine!” Hermione said in a rush, “but how do you know when you like a boy?” 

“I’m sorry, what?” The girl had been struck dumb. Hermione Granger was telling her she liked someone? Deciding that it wouldn’t go against any type of code to keep this conversation to herself she chose to answer honestly, “Okay, sorry, I don’t think I would have guessed that with a million chances. Let’s see, well I guess the first thing is that you get really happy when you’re around them. Like more than when you see your friends on the platform waiting for the train. You know the excitement you feel the days before you head back to school,” Hermione nodded her head with deep concentration, “well it’s like that, but like all the time even when you see them all the time. And you always want to talk to them and be near them, but then actually trying to do it makes you so scared you feel like your heart is going to fall out of your butt.” At that both girls laughed breaking the tension. 

“I think I understand, but what else?” Hermione wished she had something to take notes with, “what else. I mean details.” 

“Hermione, I’m not going to give you a quiz,” Parvati saw the look on her friends face and plugged on, “okay details. Hm, let me think. Okay, when I say you want to be near them I mean you want to be as close as possible. You’ll find yourself doing things just to get closer to him. Moving your seat. Stepping closer to him. Ya know.” Parvati was smiling at her friend trying to encourage her to tell her more about how she had been feeling. 

“Okay, okay. I think I’ve been doing that without thinking about it. Is that something?” Hermione was so focused on getting answers she didn’t have time to be embarrassed. 

“Oh yeah! That’s totally it! Oh my god Hermione you like someone!” Parvati giggled at her. 

Giggled at her like she was Lavender. Was this how Hermione could bond with her? They were becoming friends and she was gaining knowledge. This week wasn’t all bad. 

“Okay, and I well, I was wondering if you could tell me, I don’t know, if well, if your body, uh,” Hermione got to the part where her bodily functions were embarrassing even to her. 

“What? Come on! Now is not the time you shut down? Let me have it. I’m in the zone,” Parvati clearly being happy to sit here and talk with her gave Hermione the freedom to show her cards. 

“Okay, when you’re around a boy you like does your body do anything different?” Hermione’s faced bloomed red and she all of sudden was deeply consumed by the bathroom tiled floor. 

“My body. Okay I think I know what you’re talking about,” Parvati took Hermione’s hand, “yes it does. It’s one hundred percent natural and nothing to be embarrassed about. It just means that your head and heart are connected and your body is responding to the person you like.” 

Parvati dropped her hand. “Let me explain - when you’re around a guy you like, or even just thinking of him, do you feel like a tight sensation behind your belly button? Like you’re all warm, but only in one place?” Hermione’s head nods made Parvati keep going. 

“Okay, it’s like tingles run right to your center. Right? You start to get light headed and all you can focus on is being close to them.” It’s like Parvati was reading Hermione’s mind. 

“Okay, and then anything else?” Hermione wanted to know if everything she was feeling was normal. 

“Right, well. We’ve come this far. Well, Hermione you’re 14. Has your Mum ever talked to you about your lady parts?” Now Parvati was feeling the embarrassment, but she was determined to get through this and give the unfortunate girl the answers she needed. 

“Yes, the vagina and clitoris and -“ 

“Okay! Okay good. Well yes,” Parvati continued, “when you have feelings for someone you’ll get wet. It means your pussy,” Hermione made a very unattractive wide eyed face,  “gets slick and it feels like liquid is coming out, but it’s thicker than water. This happens because your body is anticipating having sex.” 

“But no, I’m not ready for that,” Hermione wanted to protest the terms used and connotation that she liked someone enough to do that. But isn’t that exactly what was happening when she was around Professor Lupin? The first couple of times she was concerned she had wet herself only to smell her panties later and find the odor to be semi sweet and earthy. 

“I’m not either! You have to be sure, like really sure, about who you have sex with for the first time,” Parvati was very confident in that, “We’re not ready at all. But next year? I mean, it could happen for any of us.” 

“Any of us?” Hermione asked. 

“Any of us,” Parvati grasped her hand one more time. They looked at each other again with a passing understanding between them. Then in a completely unexpected move Parvati leaned over and hugged Hermione, “Good night Hermione.” 

“Night,” Hermione said while returning the friendly gesture, “and thank you. Seriously. Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously don’t mention it. If Padma finds out I gave you this talk she’ll make us both sit down and it will turn into a health lecture,” Parvati always found a way to laugh off the awkwardness, “Oh, Hermione, listen I won’t ask you who you’re talking about, and for both our sakes I hope it’s not Ron or Lavender will lose her mind, don’t tell her I told you that, but if this happens to be about Draco…” Parvati had a sad look in her eyes. 

“Fuck no! Not at all. What?” Hermione couldn’t believe what she was hearing. The boy who single handily bullied her worse than anyone else and Parvati thinks it’s him she’s talking about? 

“Okay, okay I surrender. I just wanted to make sure. You know sometimes the bad boy can be sexy,” Parvati wiggled her eyebrows, “but in all seriousness, Draco may be the cutest boy in our year, but Hermione - you can’t save him.” 

With that Parvati walked away. Hermione took her shower turning over their conversation in her head the whole time. Mostly stuck on the part where anyone could think Hermione so daft to be enamored by Draco Malfoy. 

As Hermione was about to open the dorm door she heard Lavender sighing heavily. 

“Come on Pav! Tell me something. She must have something going on,” Lavender was whinging to her best friend. 

“I mean it Lav, stop it. Hermione isn’t so different from us and that’s all I’ll say,” Hermione could hear Parvati get into bed, “Except I’ll say this, stop going after her. I know she gets under your skin for whatever reason, but please? The girl is, I don’t know, sad? Don’t look at me like that. I’m not saying be her best friend I’m just saying maybe don’t encourage every person in our year to call her Hermit?” Parvati was actually asking. 

Hermione not wanting to be thought of as an eavesdropper took a couple silent steps backwards and dropped her bathroom bag on the floor. Letting out a rather loud “Oh shoot” to alert the girls she was coming back. Hermione was able to sleep a whole 6 hours that night.

How she got herself into these things she’ll never know. Right, her desperate need to prove that she can be a good friend. The thunderstorm, if you could call the absolute devil of torrential downpour and wind gusting at what felt like 100mph was tearing through the early November Saturday morning. Hermione sat trying her best to concentrate on watching the match playing out before her, but the cold air was chilling her to the bone. 

Hermione was determined to stay enthusiastic during the whole match. The school was still buzzing from the rumored break in of Sirius Black last week. The Fat Lady was still terrified and when not needed for letting students in she could only be found in another frame. While she absolutely believed the attempt happened Hermione couldn’t figure out how a grown man got in through the gates of Hogwarts, passed the dementors, and all the way up to the seventh floor dorm room. Sleeping in the Great Hall with everyone else just made the whole thing even creepier. Dumbledore wasn’t being forthright about all the information he knew and yet Harry wouldn’t push him. Something wasn’t adding up. Finally, a real problem that Hermione could solve.   

Just then the crowd saw them. Dementors had flown on to the field. They weren’t suppose to be on the grounds and here they were within meters of the students. Immediately, Hermione’s eyes located Harry. Her heart stopped. Once again she was watching as her best friend went into a type of fit as a dementor hovered over top of him. In what could only be a thankful moment a lightening strike and gust of wind caused Harry to lose his balance on his broom and begin to fall to the earth. Dumbledore was able to cushion the fall and soon Hermione was running with Ron out of the stands, elbowing Malfoy in the gut for having the nerve to laugh, and rushing to the hospital. 

It felt like hours before Harry woke up. All the boys surrounding his bedside were too cowardly to tell him about his broom and the match. Judging by the other bedsides I would say that many of the team members, from both houses, were feeling the effects of the storm and the dementors. Hermione explained that Harry needed to speak with Dumbledore. The Headmaster was furious with the Ministry for not controlling their prison guards and Harry needed to try, once again, to get any information out of him regarding Sirius Black. 

After it was clear to Hermione that the boys weren’t interested in discussing the ongoing political infighting that is the Ministry of Magic she whispered to Ron that she was going to step outside for some air before coming in to say goodnight to Harry. She quietly slipped outside. Once alone in the hall staring out the window into the fading afternoon sky, practically dark already at 4:00pm in the Highlands, Hermione allowed the last six weeks to bubble up to the surface. 

After her talk with Parvati three weeks ago she realized that she liked Professor Lupin. A school girl crush surely, but it felt like so much more. Everything Parvati described was happening to Hermione plus more. 

Hermione spent one week after that feeling disgusting. Dirty even. That she was allowing her hormones to act out in such a way with a Hogwarts Professor. Her liking him was wrong. He was 20 years, 19 and a half years, older than her. He was her teacher. And all of this doesn’t even account for the fact that Hermione was slowly making peace with everything Lavender had been saying for the last two plus years. 

The tears fell harder when Hermione tried to piece together if her Professor didn’t care for her because of her lack of educational know how in Defense Against the Dark Arts or if it really was because she was the ugly duckling who had the body of a 7 year old boy. 

It was a good thing Hermione spent that first week avoiding her Professor as it was one less week of her having to know that he was avoiding her. Except avoiding isn’t the word for it. It’s more like he just didn’t see her. The last two weeks Professor Lupin was somehow able to pretend that Hermione Granger wasn’t even a student at Hogwarts. He always called on another student to answer a question. If her hand was the only one up he would roll the answer into the question so as to not have to acknowledge her. He would openly stop to chat with Harry and Ron about all types of nonsense - school related or not and wouldn’t even look at her. During their practical lessons Hermione attempted to get his help, but again he just asked Harry to help him teach the class. Har har har so funny. Isn’t Harry so great at DADA? In Harry’s defense of course he was confused as to how Hermione was struggling so much this year. She told him last Friday she thinks she’s taken on too much and she’ll try to prep better so as not to be exhausted. This past week in class she didn’t bother to raise her hand. Or pay attention really. She read the material and would check out books about related topics. On Wednesday she even asked Professor Snape to clarify something for her one night after dinner. He rolled his eyes as if she was the biggest inconvenience since Voldemort, but indulged her questions none the less. When the students had to be up and practicing spells Hermione would simply cast them on the first try and then go find whatever seat remained in the room and work on any outstanding reading for another class. By Friday, yesterday, she could tell she was sinking into a repetitive depressing hole. That night at dinner as she moved her food around Harry and Ron thought they were silently communicating, but she could tell they were talking about her. They begged and made her promise to come to the Qudditch match the next day. What a wonderful time it was watching her best friend almost die from sudden impact. 

And now all that emotion was coming out of her. This was the first time Hermione deeply considered wanting to go home. She shook the thought from her mind as quickly as it had come, but still the overwhelming grief that she was this sad about her year at Hogwarts brought fresh tears to her eyes. 

“Hermione?” A soft voice. His voice. Calling her name. Hermione turned to see Professor Lupin standing in the hall shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Realizing that she was standing in the window right in front of the doors and there wouldn’t have been a way he could go around without acknowledging her Hermione decided to turn her back to the man who had been able to hurt her. 

“Harry’s awake. He’s fine. Up and talking,” Hermione barely recognized her own voice through her tears. She couldn’t believe what a mess she had become in such a short time. She gave the Professor the facts he cared about without breaking her stare on the now dark sky. She could make out the north star through the clouds. 

“Yes, well I’ll go to him,” Professor Lupin made to walk around her to open the doors, but she felt him stop right behind her, “Hermione, are you alright?” 

He placed his hand on her shoulder. So lightly it’s like it wasn’t even there. Hermione didn’t even have time to think. It’s like her body was acting on its own accord and next thing she knew she had thrown herself around and up into her Professors arms. He caught her without even so much as a step backwards, but his body was tense. She could feel all of his muscles pressed up against her. This wasn’t like the gentle graze from the train or the feather light touch from her birthday. This was a hard hug. Hermione clung to him desperately. She could feel her legs wrapping around his hips as she buried her face in his neck. That smell. She would never be able to get enough. Even through her emotional state she could feel her body react to him. To the way his hands felt gripping her waist. How his legs standing apart caused her hips to open and flush against his own. How badly she wanted to reach up and run her hand through his sandy hair. 

“Hermione,” He attempted to be cold again. 

“I was so scared. Professor Lupin. I was so scared,” She whispered into his neck. She could feel the roughness of his stubble. The way it felt against her lips as she spoke. She had never wanted to kiss a boy before and here she was fighting the urge to not run her lips over his neck where she could feel his blood pumping. His warm body fighting off the chill that had settled in her bones. 

“It’s alright. It’s alright. As you said Harry is fine. Dumbledore will surely fix the issues with the dementors,” His voice was normal again and it was calming her down. Just as her body had betrayed her moments ago her mind had its own plans. 

“Why won’t you look at me anymore? Why don’t you see me?” Hermione had leaned her head back to look him in his eyes. He stared at her. Opening his mouth a couple times as if to respond. Finally, swallowing and taking a deep breath while trying to put the young witch back on the ground Lupin spoke to her. 

“Hermione, I know you think you know a lot, but trust me when I say I know more than you. You’re so young and have dealt with so much. I’m not sure you know when to act your age anymore. I’m not… I’m not the right teacher for you.” He tried again to remove the girls legs from around his hips. Hermione clung to him and nestled her face back into his neck. 

“I just wanted you to care about me, but you don’t. I don’t know how to fix myself so someone cares.” Hermione didn’t care that she was crying into his neck. She could see her tears rolling down his collar and disappearing into his shirt. Good, she thought, let part of me explore him. She allowed him to lower her body, but kept her hands resting on the broad planes of his chest while her head sank into his sternum. She would stay as close to him as she could until he pushed her off for good. 

“Miss Granger?” Professor McGongagall. She sounded rushed and bewildered. Hermione lifted her head and tried to think of an excuse for why she was clinging to the man before her, but Professor McGonagall kept talking. 

“Oh my dear, Albus told me Harry was fine? Is that not the case? Did the dementors get to you? Remus, Remus I told that old fool this would happen. Now look. Hermione, how is Harry?” Professor McGonagall was in protection mode. 

“Professor, I’m sorry. Yes, Harry is fine. I believe he’s still awake talking with Ron and the other team members. I’m fine as well just apparently more scared than I thought. Professor Lupin caught me at a rather honest moment,” Hermione gave her mentor a smile that would convince her all was well. 

“Okay dear. I know. Listen, go back to your common room. I’ll have some food brought up for you and the team. I want you to take a hot bath tonight to get the warmth back in you. I mean really all of you students out there today trying to catch your death!” Professor McGonagall was still in a fix it state so Hermione took her words as dismissal promising that she would follow the advice about the hot bath. 

As she broke away from the pair of teachers Hermione walked down the hall leading to the stairs. Before descending she looked back. Professor McGonagall was walking into the hospital room, but Professor Lupin was staring at the teen girl. He had the same look of sadness that occupied his eyes all over his face. There was another emotion Hermione couldn’t place. She wanted to smile at him. Let him know she was still friendly, but something about his facial expression told her that he would prefer to be left alone. She walked down the stairs and promised herself she wouldn’t think on their conversation until later that night.

Come Monday Hermione was prepared for a continuation of Professor Lupin’s avoidance tactics. She sat and waited. And waited. And waited. 

“Isn’t there some rule about us getting to leave if a Professor is so many minutes late?” Pansy Parkinson’s screeching voice rang out behind Hermione. 

Just as Hermione was about to tell the girl that she was blundering idiot Professor Snape came  striding in the room completely and totally pissed off. Using his wordless spells he slammed the windows shut and brought life to the projector. Professor Lupin couldn’t make it? She had never heard of a teacher not coming to a class. Hermione tried to convince herself that it had nothing to do with her. 

“Page 394,” His deep voice rang out. Hermione attempted to tell him that he was jumping ahead, but his response let her know he wasn’t interested in her assistance. 

Werewolves? Surely Professor Snape wouldn’t think to jump this far ahead in the curriculum. Werewolves are creatures that really need to be studied and…

Page 394. The boggart as a moon. Hermione stared straight ahead as her mind finished the rest. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Before Christmas 

Hermione was in a daze. One week. One week she had been walking around hearing nothing but white noise and barely seeing the papers in front of her. 

A werewolf. Professor Lupin was a werewolf. After class on Monday she had tried to ask Harry and Ron several times, to the point of annoyance, why they thought Snape would teach them about werewolves. While they had been doing better about not rolling their eyes at her quizzical pursuits she could tell by the fourth time around Ron might blow on her. She considered going to Snape. He was always willing to help her if it meant he could talk defensive training. Maybe if she posed it in a way that she wanted to learn what to do if she came up against one in the wild? Then she could casually slip in that she could ask Professor Lupin, but he was probably too close to the situation - if you know what I mean, Professor? 

But, no. That wouldn’t work. As much as it’s obvious that Snape hated anyone who took the DADA position and Professor Lupin most of all, going so far as to blame him for the attempted break in of Sirius Black, she didn’t think even he would skate unprofessionalism to let slip one of Hogwarts’ professors was a werewolf. The uproar from the parents alone that it would cause having him on the grounds was enough to silence any teacher. 

Thankfully, unlike on Hermione’s developing body, there were plenty of books in the library on this topic. As her intelligence had recently gotten the best of her and she quit Divinations for good the young witch found she had a bit more time on her hands. Hermione would never admit it, but she did try at the class. Try so hard that she had spent 6 hours not 3 Saturdays ago trying to piece together tea leaves to make a prediction. Which was fine considering all the tea she drank kept her wired enough to give it 6 hours. 

So, the Brightest Witch of Her Age, did what she does best and hit the stacks. Every night after class before dinner and before bed Hermione read every book Madam Pince could find on werewolves - academic and otherwise. To say that what she read brought her knowledge would be true, but it actually only brought her disgust. The way some of these historians and magizoologist, people that Hermione had once considered top of their fields, spoke about the werewolf population was abhorrent. 

The werewolf is a subpar species unrelated to the wizarding family. Their indiscriminate need for violence and destruction make any rational and intelligent use of their brain unlikely. 

Werewolves have been found to attempt to create more of their kind, but a blood lust that can’t be quenched leads them to killing their victims more times than not. As is often a favorite sport, the werewolf will hunt and rape its victims before delivering the life changing bite. However, as stated above, the violent lust the wolf feels usually rips the victims body apart. 

The werewolf is not capable of sorrow or remorse. Making the lost their victims lives meaningless to them. 

If she thought the Ministry looked down on House Elves what they commissioned these people to write made it seem as if werewolves were not people 353 days out of the year. This garbage she was reading was written by absolute idiots! They had no idea what they were talking about. Her professor would never, would never rip someone a part let alone hunt and rape anyone. Hermione felt the anger growing in her the more she read.

It didn’t help that Lupin had been out that whole week which was odd as it hadn’t been a full moon the weekend before. Maybe it was her he was avoiding. She did read somewhere in the books that if the werewolf doesn’t have access to a high quality wolfsbane potion that the effects of the full moon can last and make the wolf stay in a state of pain if they live in their human form. That would make sense and it gave Hermione comfort to know that she may not be the reason he was missing classes. 

The next week he was back. Hermione’s steps falter as she walks in and sees him greeting his students. She bee lines it right for the front center row. Staring at him the whole time she’s determined to get him to acknowledge her. To force him to look at her. Could she convey she knows his secret through a look. Could he smell the determination through her sweat? That was probably a no. While the books had told her he would be able to recognize her sent she doubt that he could recognize specific emotions. So she sat. And she stared. He looked at her once. The quickest glance. Just enough for her breathing to go shallow and her mouth to run dry. She ran her tongue over her lips in attempt to encourage moisture. He looked away. 

And he wouldn’t look at her for two more weeks. This couldn’t be happening again. Hermione knew this pain. She had been living with it all last month. Her body telling her to go to him. To feel his body pressed against hers again. To trace her lips along his neck and feel the ever present stubble. To follow the path her tears made and see his chest. Only this time she knew what these feelings were. Thanks to her talk with Parvati she knew that she liked Professor Lupin and more than that she wanted to be… romantic with him. Unable to even think the words to herself she knew she was far from ready, but still the way her skin would warm when she saw him told her that her body knew exactly what it wanted. 

Two weeks of avoiding her. His words playing over in her mind. “I’m not the right teacher for you.” What did that even mean? Hermione was determined to get her to talk to him. It was Monday of the third week and she knew the full moon would be happening this coming Saturday. It had to be this week. Every day she does everything she can think of to gain his attention from arriving early to class only to find that he hasn’t come out yet to staying late after class only to watch him quickly disappear down the hall or up to his office. He didn’t even speak to her. With no one around decent manners didn’t apply and he would just turn and walk into his office closing the door. By Wednesday she had even tried to follow him, but he put locking wards to keep her out. In a fit of childish rage she kicked the door. Not her proudest moment. Thursday he had office hours from 8:00 - 9:00am and from 4:00-6:00pm. She tried to go to both, but both times he left a note on the door that he had been called into a meeting or was lesson planning. Not a terrible coverup as most teachers didn’t use their office hours preferring to just chat with students as needed. 

By Friday she was desperate. Every questions she raised her hand in the air and resorted to being the absolute insufferable know it all she was by waving her arm. He didn’t react to it. This was the lowest she had been - she thought. Until even Draco couldn’t take it anymore and shouted out “Please Professor spare us and call on the daft bint? Let her answer a question before she explodes. Look two of her buttons have already popped off from the swottiness trying to escape.” 

Draco and his friends roared with laughter. Hermione hadn’t noticed that in her straining against the desk and waving her arm around as if she were trying to land a plane two of her buttons had in fact popped off her blouse. If she thought she could sink no lower she quickly found out there was always a lower place. Hermione was relentless in her pursuit to get him to look at her. It wasn’t until she saw that he had chuckled along with Draco that she lowered her hand for the rest of class. When the class was dismissed at 4:00pm Hermione crammed everything in her bag so hard she was sure it would rip open. Again, in one of her more unattractive displays she stomped towards the door like toddler being told no at a candy shop. 

“Hermione!” Harry was yelling for her. He and Ron looked completely out of breath trying to catch up to her. 

“What?” Hermione snapped while rounding on the two boys so much so that Ron practically fell over his own feet trying to step back from her. 

“Are you okay? It’s just that back there…” Harry spoke softly as if talking to an injured fox who would rather bite him than accept help. 

“Look have you completely lost it? Full nutter now are you? You look insane.” Ron spoke up. Clearly afraid, but also trying to figure out what, if anything, as her friend he was obligated to do. 

“Am I… no Ronald. I’m not a nutter. Maybe I’m just impatient with a professor who has clear favorites,” she shot Harry a withering look, “and don’t appreciate being treated as an inconvenience for wanting to participate in my education.” 

“Lupin doesn’t have favorites, Hermione.” Harry tried to soothe her, but she wasn’t having it. 

“Oh come off it Harry. All his little talks with you. Stopping you and Ron to run play by plays of the latest match. Asking you to help the other students in class who are struggling when he’s the teacher!” Hermione knew she looked every bit as deranged as Ron had just asked her if she was becoming. She knew she didn’t look well. Her face was flushed and her hair was loose around her head. 

“I think that’s what this is really about.” Harry spoke softly again, but this time didn’t look at her. 

“And what’s that? What is this really about Harry.” Hermione was incensed. Harry had no idea what she was thinking and yet he was going to be some great voice of reason. Always trying to tell her where she was going wrong. 

“I think you can’t stand that I’m better at a subject than you and you’re acting out because you want to prove to Lupin that you’re the smartest one in the class. I think the fact that I have a natural ability that the professor is trying to develop is driving you insane. If for no other reason than the fact that you don’t.” Harry was staring right into her eyes. Without meaning to Harry was challenging her. The words he said - did he know what he was saying to the muggleborn witch? 

“You think the magic I have isn’t a natural ability?” Hermione was surprised that in her shocked state she was able to get the question out. She knew her eyes were filling with tears. She knew the whole class was standing in the hallway staring at two best friends fight. And she knew Professor Lupin was standing in the doorway having been drawn to the commotion. 

“That’s not what I’m-“ Harry was cut off. 

“Damn, Potter. I mean damn. I’ve been saying it for years you and I have so much in common. Listen to this everyone even the mud bloods own friends don’t think her magic is hers. Come on Potter you’re just a hop, skip, and a jump away from saying it. If it’s not natural it’s because she….” Malfoy didn’t receive a response in the dead silent hall, “stole it!”

With that the class erupted in laughter. Hermione took a step back never breaking eye contact with Harry. The rational side of her brain could see that he wanted to fight back against Malfoy that he wanted to claim that isn’t what he meant at all, but he was stuck. Embarrassed by the attention and frozen by the hurt he had caused her. Hermione kept taking steps backwards. She saw that mercifully Lavender and Parvati looked just as horrified as Harry and Ron by the situation and as such were not laughing. For the first time in almost 3 weeks her eyes met Professor Lupins. She looked at him. She knew what her face must say. Begging him to defend her. To take her into his arms and tell her that Malfoy was an asshole who didn’t deserve to learn in the same universe as her. To tell her that Harry was wrong. He did nothing.

The laughter seemed to be growing louder even though she knew that couldn’t be true. Giving in Hermione let the sobs rack her body as she looked at the man in the doorway. When he made no move to comfort her she turned and ran. 

_______ 

Hermione ran all the way back to the dorm. By the time she collapsed on her bed her lungs were burning from a mixture of her tears and the exercise she hadn’t been doing much of since coming back to school. She allowed her cries to overwhelm her. A pity party as her Mum would say. She deserved it. 

She could hear her dorm mates coming up the stairs as they were the only girls she knew who could whisper and still allow half the castle to hear their entire conversation. Hermione quickly shut her curtain and cast a muffliato spell. She didn’t want the girls to think she was awake and she wasn’t up for talking about what just happen. 

“Her curtains are closed.” Parvati must have only peaked her head in. 

“Well call her name and see if she responds.” Lavender, God lover her, was not quiet. 

“No! She was really upset. What if she’s sleeping? If she wanted to talk you know she would have left her curtains open.” Hermione quietly thanked whatever God there was that Parvati had enough sense to piece that to together. 

“Alright fine. Let’s go to the common room and get some of this homework done and we’ll go to dinner. Maybe by the time we’re back she’ll want to rant a little bit?” Lavender had hoped the answer would be that no Hermione didn’t want to talk, but she was trying to be a better person. 

The girls left the dorm room and Hermione laid there quietly. Normally after such a hard cry she would have to take a nap, but tonight her sadness churned into anger. Not just anger a seething rage. Hermione was angry. She was pissed off. At Harry who would say such horrible things and then wouldn’t even defend her against Malfoy. At Ron would never stand up for her against Harry. Not that the two of them could find their way to her side in the daylight with a flashlight, but still! At the third year class for finding bullying so funny. At Malfoy for never being able to just leave her the hell alone. At herself. For needing validation so badly that she would set herself up for the embarrassment that had taken place. At thinking that she was somehow different than any other school girl who had a crush on a teacher. That there was something special enough about her that at 14 years old she could attract a 33 year old werewolf who according to the books she read was drowning in sex. She couldn’t even get Fred and George Weasley to look at her twice and that was after hearing them joke about being able to get hard off a gust of wind if they were standing just right. This was her lower place. 

The longer she lay there and thought over everyone that she was angry at the more she realized that it came back to her. She was the common dominator of her problems. As nice as Lavender was trying to be now the words she had spoken to Hermione all those times before had never felt so true. 

‘Well, fuck it.” Hermione muttered to the empty room, “If they think these things of me already I might as well just commit to being myself.” With that Hermione got up, took off her button up and cast a cleaning charm over so it smelled like fresh sun bleached laundry. She then went to sit in the bathtub to stew in the hot water and formulate her plan. 

After hours of sitting there thinking Hermione washed her body with the body wash her mom sent for her birthday. The scent was jasmine, moss, and vanilla. Sweet, earthy, and homey. All things that brought Hermione comfort. She scrubbed her hair well with the same scent and really focused on her hair. It had grown much longer than she thought. Reaching down pass her shoulder blades. Not that anyone would know that given how she wore it most days. When she dried it she performed a special charm, thanks be to Ginny, that would maintain its length while also giving her perfect curls. 

She returned to her bed and slipped behind the curtains again. She laid there naked on top of the comforter. The fire in the dorm roaring to life as the room charms could tell that she needed more warmth. Hermione’s mind wandered to her tall professor. Pushing away the images of him watching her get bullied, her mind landed on what he looked like when he would stand in front of her in class. How she had memorized the way his button downs would pull across his chest or his back when he moved his arms. How the long cardigans he wore, even though she could still feel his body heat on her skin through them, swept across the tops of his hips just below his belt. His simple belt that a simple tug could undo. Hermione imagined what it would feel like to pull his shirt from the waist band of his trousers listening to the buttons scrape against the belt as they popped free. How her nimble fingers could make quick work of undoing each button until she was slowly and lightly stroking his stomach just below his belly button. She would keep her face on his face feeling the stubble on her lips as she told him how she had never met anyone who indulged in reading and analyzing text the way he does. How he made her feel like she belonged. How he made her feel like she belonged to him. And as she undid the last button she would move her hand to his belt to unclasp it from the gold buckle that kept it in place. 

Hermione looked down and realized that her own small hand was slowly stroking her lower belly. She could feel the warmth and tightening behind her navel like so many times before. Wanting to experiment she dipped her hand lower and made a direct swipe over her clit just like she accidentally did while in the shower months back. A surge of warmth spread through her lower body. Her toes quickly curled and uncurled. Making another pass she could feel the wetness between her legs. She pushed her thighs together in order to relieve some of the pressure that was building. It felt wonderful, but not enough at the same time. She wanted more, but while she tried touching herself, knowing she needed something, she didn’t know what to do about it. She pulled her hand away with a disappointed huff. 

She tried to focus on other things as she heard her roommates come and go until finally they fell asleep. Hermione rose from her bed and put on her button down. She would have to go without a bra as she didn’t want to wake the girls trying to fish one out and it was end of week so the elves had collected all the dirty laundry. She put her school skirt back on. That way if she was caught she could lie and say she was in an alcove reading and lost track of time. Almost any of the professors would believe her. Forgoing the robes as they made too much noise Hermione grabbed a book and headed out as quietly as possible down the stairs. 

Harry and Ron were sat on the far side of the common room playing wizards chess. She stayed to the shadows as not to be seen. Exiting the Fat Lady portrait Hermione was forever grateful that the portraits never seemed to purposefully tell the teachers when students were coming and going. Almost like a code of conduct with their houses. 

Hermione quickly and silently made her way down the stairs until she reached the Defense Against the Dark Arts hall. It was late. Later then she thought it would be in her original plan. But she was here now and she was determined to go through with this. 

The third year girl made her way behind a tapestry in the hall and took the second left turn in the hall. She didn’t bother illuminating her wand just in case she was caught. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again. Shuffling. She knocked again reeling in her frustration. She needed to remain calm. She could see the shuffling of feet under the door and as she heard a hand on the door knob everything went still. She knocked again. 

Slowly the door opened. Hermione, without moving her face from looking straight, brought her eyes up to stare into her Professors green orbs. 

“No.” He said as an order. He closed the door in her face. 

She knocked again. And again. And again. She thought her knuckles might bleed. The shadow of his feet were still under the door.  

“I’m not going away.” Hermione tried to whisper it, but even to her it sounded more of a hiss. 

Professor Lupin opened the door again and using her small size to her advantage Hermione darted in the crack once it was big enough. The DADA teacher quickly looked out into the hall and scanned it for others. He closed the door and raised a fist to rest by his head. Looking at him from the back it was evident that he was tense. Then his shoulders sagged. He was giving in she thought. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” He hadn’t turned to look at her, but spoke with a voice so cold Hermione could feel the shivers run through her. 

“I know you’re a werewolf.” Hermione made her voice neutral. Clear. Bordering on confident. 

With those words spoken he turned around and stared at the small girl in front of him. He took one step towards her. She wanted to talk to him, but not scare him into forcing her out so she had put distance between them from the beginning. 

“Then you know you really shouldn’t be here.” The cold man from her birthday was back. He looked dangerous. Sounded heartless. 

“I’ve been reading about werewolves in the library-“ Hermione tried to start on solid ground, but Lupin barked out a laughter that stopped her dead in her tracks. They stared at each other. 

She broke his glower and took a chance to look around. She was standing in front of a bookcase. In front of a wall made of nothing, but bookcases. They were packed. Muggle and Wizard literature. She wanted to explore the titles, get his take on ones she had also read, but that wasn’t what tonight was about. In between the shelves laid a fireplace that had a comforting fire crackling. In front of that a long and wide plush couch that her teacher had laid down his book to mark the page. There was a desk in the far corner that he clearly worked at and another desk in the opposite corner surrounded by more shelves, but not containing books, instead different potions and equipment she had read about over the years that aurors used to catch dark wizards. One door was open next to this desk and it showed a powder room. Probably for guests. The door next to it led to a bedroom. She could see the end of his large bed with its dark grey sheets and over stuffed duvet. There must be a full bathroom in there. 

Hermione moved to the desk surrounded by potions and hinged at the hips to study them. “Wolfsbane?” She looked over her shoulder at him from her bent over position. 

“Hm.” Professor Lupin was looking at her like she was the hunter in the room. He her prey. He looked afraid of her again. 

“Like I said I’ve been reading and-“ Hermione tried to start again. 

“Please, tell me what have you been reading? The books in the library right?” Professor Lupin had taken another step towards her and was staring her down. Hermione nodded her head. 

“Yeah, so you don’t know anything about werewolves.” He was direct. 

“I just said I’ve been reading… You know just because I’m not Harry Potter doesn’t mean it’s inconceivable that I would know anything about the dark side of wizarding world.” Hermione was pouting. She knew it. She had crossed her arms under her breast and was one sentence away from stomping her foot on the ground. 

“Is that what you think of me? That I’m the dark side of the wizarding world?” Professor Lupin was staring her up and down. He had licked his lips and cocked his head to the side. 

“No!” Hermione screamed at him. “No, I just mean the books all said that…” 

“I know what they say Hermione. Most of those people are wrong or are writing off assumption not knowledge.” He was caving. His voice had gone back to the gentle tenor it usually held. 

“I know. I thought if I came here tonight-“ Hermione was blushing. 

“It’s highly inappropriate for you to be here. You’re a student.” 

“Mindy Trance goes to Professor Sprouts quarters all the time so they can work together!” And now she was whinging. 

“Miss Trance is a seventh year who has established that she will be taking over her family’s greenhouse businesses.” His patience was waning. She was losing him. 

“Well I’m interested in the dark arts. What if I wanted to,” Hermione threw her arms up in the air and looked around trying to find something to inspire a lie as to why she was there, “to you know learn about dark creatures.” 

“You’re 14!” He roared at her. Professor Lupin was breathing heavier and his anger was no longer hidden behind lack of patience or frustration. 

“14 year olds know what they want all the time, Professor.” Hermione looked right into his eyes. Her whole being told her to look down at the ground, but she refused. She straightened her back and pushed her chest out to show her confidence. She forgot she wasn’t wearing a bra and the strain of her shirt caused her nipples to harden. She had an inner battle to not look down or acknowledge it in anyway. Professor Lupin paid no such curtesy. 

Before she could think, or move, he was on her. He lifted her and shoved her, hard, against the book shelves behind her. Her face was leveled with his neck again just like that day outside of the hospital ward. Instinctually, she wrapped her legs around his upper thighs again and released a deep breath at the contact. 

“Look at me,” Lupin’s voice, dark and gravely commanded her, “is this what you want? When you came here tonight is this what you wanted? For the big bad werewolf to corrupt you?” 

“I’m not afraid of you, Professor Lupin.” Hermione used what little room was behind her head to pull back and look at him. There noses were almost touching as she straightened her back to look into his eyes. 

“Then you are stupid.” Professor Lupin made to put her down. The same look from the hospital ward on his face. What was that emotion? 

Without giving herself time to contemplate the consequences Hermione did what she had never done before. What she thought would never be done. She quickly leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. She moved them in what would be a kiss like motion she thought. He was frozen. Didn’t move. Hermione took her small hand and moved it from his shoulder up the back of his neck and into his dirty blonde hair. He attempted to take a step back but she once again clung to him needing him. The step caused a slight friction where their hips met and Hermione allowed her body to act naturally. She rolled her hips forward on to his body. He dropped her. 

“No.” Just as firm as when she had knocked on his door. Panting, the witch looked up at him from her place on the floor. Lips slightly swollen from the unreturned kiss. Her left leg bent up at the knee and her right bent but resting on the floor. If he was at a different angle he would be able to see up her school uniform. 

Not that sight is everything to a werewolf. The one roll of her hips and the feel of his lips on hers caused Hermione’s body to react as she now came to expect. Her chest was heaving with the deep breaths she was taking to calm herself, her nipples practically puncturing the material and she knew if given the right light her shirt would be see through, and her panties were slick with her wetness. Unlike the other times she could feel her vaginal walls attempting to clench around something. Hermione could feel the dampness in them and was growing uncomfortable at how sticky they were becoming. 

Professor Lupin looked like he wanted to murder her. His chest was also heaving, but from the looks of it it was out of anger, not desire and his face was flushed. They stared at each other for what felt like a hour. He broke the silence. 

“You stupid, stupid girl.” He was angry. 

“I’m not stupid! I just want-“ Hermione scrambled to stand in front of him once more, but stopped when he took steps back as if her presence burned him. 

“What? You want what? You think you’re mature enough to want something you can’t speak of? You aren’t even mature enough to think through the consequences of your actions?” Professor Lupin was indignant. 

“Consequences?” Hermione furrowed her brow. 

“Oh dear god child. Yes, Hermione, consequences. Your actions, MY fucking actions have consequences!” His voice was rising as if he wanted to scream at her. “You come here, claiming you know I’m a werewolf, the night before the full moon?” 

“I didn’t think…” she was staring at the floor again. Because he was right, she didn’t think this through. 

“I know! That’s my point. I’ve heard stories of how you, Harry, and Ron think you can run around this castle and do whatever you want. Well, guess what little girl, you can’t!” Now he was screaming. 

“I’m not a little girl!” He wanted to scream? Fine let’s scream, Hermione thought. 

“What do you call this? This whole show you put on tonight? Did you really think you could walk in here and expect me to fall for this thirst for knowledge bit you’ve got going on?” His voice was coming down, but while that would normally be a good thing the deep steadiness of it was scaring her. 

“Please, Sir, I just wanted you to know that I..” She again failed to come up with the words. 

“You don’t have to say anything Hermione.” His deep voice. Meant to scare her was causing her arousal to spike again. “I can smell it on you.” 

“But I thought werewolves couldn’t smell emotions?” Hermione looked at him with wide eyes out of being caught having the wrong information. 

“We can’t. Don’t be ridiculous. I could smell it was you through the door. I can smell you now. You may be innocent, but your body betrays you.” He was walking towards her again. She backed up as far as she could into the bookshelves. “I can smell how wet your pussy gets when I’m near you. I can smell it. You’re so sweet. Like sugar.” 

He was practically on top of her now. His chest in front of her face. His smell taking her over. 

“You aren’t scaring me.” Hermione looked up at defiantly. “You can talk like that all you want. I’m not afraid of you.” 

“That’s the problem little one. I know my words aren’t scaring you. But how they effect you is scaring me.” He backed off immediately and walked towards the front door. 

“I scare you?” Hermione whispered. 

He let out a bitter laugh. “Of course you do Hermione. I may be a werewolf, but I am more of a man than many of those books of yours give me credit for. And,” he was choosing his words now, “I know what the girls have convinced you of. I know how the boys your age talk to and about you. Don’t look away from me now.” Hermione had adverted her eyes in shame. 

“I am just a man Hermione. And even I have only so much restraint. When it comes to you I don’t know how much longer I can… I don’t know how much longer I can deny myself.” He whispered the last part while looking down at her. “When I agreed to being a professor I didn’t think it would be possible…”

Hermione reached her hand up to brush his face. Slowly stroking her hand down one side and moving it around the back to softly grip his neck. “So let yourself have it.” She whispered back up to him trying to pull his mouth down towards her. 

“No.” With that he quickly and harshly grabbed her arm with one hand, ignoring her small cry of pain, and with the other hand opened his front door and shoved her out. 

Hermione stood there. Breathless. She thought about knocking until he opened the door again, but decided against it. After all, it would seem she got part of what she came here for. Honesty.

_____

Hermione spent the weekend away from everyone again. Mostly in the library trying to read whatever she hadn’t gotten to in the days before. By Saturday evening, after having missed 24 hours worth of meals, Harry and Ron approached her at her favorite desk. 

“Hermione?” Harry was tentative. The crazed look of hunger and exhaustion in her eyes didn’t help. 

“What?” She huffed going back to her notes. 

“Look, I wanted to say I’m sorry. What happen yesterday was insane. I wanted to apologize last night, but I didn’t see you. Lavender said she hadn’t seen you either.” Harry rushed out. 

Hermione put her book down and turned her whole body to face the two boys. Squaring her shoulders she made direct eye contact and asked, “what is it exactly that you’re sorry for?” 

Harry stammered for several seconds and looked to Ron, who just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, for help. 

“That’s what I thought.” Hermione turned back to her desk. 

“Well what do you want him to say ‘Mione? Yesterday was fucked you know that.” Ron’s face had gone red. His anger wasn’t at her stubbornness. It was at her being unwilling to immediately lay down for his best friend. 

“What an excellent question, Ronald.” Hermione almost felt bad for her level of sarcasm. Almost. “I want Harry to say that he’s sorry for how smug he knows he is every time he’s asked to help someone else. Did you ever think that maybe I didn’t need your help? I just wanted to learn from our professor? If you had you would have noticed that I’m just as capable as you at casting spells the correct way the first time. I want you to say you’re sorry for publicly humiliating me because you were so desperate to feel superior. I mean honestly the way you strutted out of the classroom. But you know what I want most of all? I want you both to apologize to me for never being able to take my side in anything. You’re right, Ronald, yesterday was fucked. Because once again instead of Harry taking three seconds to see how the situation might effect me he fed ammunition to Malfoy of all people. And you Ron? You stood there like you always do, like you both always do, while the other insults and degrades me.” 

Hermione’s face was red. She knew she was seconds away from crying. Maybe she had gone too far, but it felt like a ten pound stone had been lifted off her chest. 

“Hermione, I, I don’t know what to say. I didn’t, we didn’t, know you felt like that. I’m sorry.” Harry sounded apologetic. 

“We’re both sorry ‘Mione.” Ron interjected. 

“What can we do? What will it take for us to prove to you that we’re sorry?” Harry crouched down next to her. Hermione cast a sideways glance at him. His brows were furrowed, but his eyes were open. 

“Just… think about what I said. Actually think about it. Think about what it’s like to be considered part of a trio and to feel so utterly alone all the time.” Hermione let a few tears fall. 

“We will Hermione. We’ll really think it over.” Harry patted her leg while Ron nodded his head. 

“Thanks.” Hermione gave them a smile, not wanting to leave it on a sad note. “Oh! And don’t ask me for help with your homework for the rest of term!” She called after them. 

“Three weeks? However, will we manage?” Ron asked with his slanted grin as the boys walked away from her. Harry elbowed him and Hermione was positive she heard him hiss, “don’t piss her off anymore she could come around by Monday.” 

Hermione turned in her chair to give a playful retort when she saw, standing in the shadows of the stacks the boys had just passed, a tall man with shaggy sandy hair. 

_______

That was the last time for two more weeks that Hermione would see the man she was falling for outside of the classroom. Back to avoidance. 

It didn’t take much for Hermione to replay, in detail, the night they shared in Lupin’s quarters. The feel of his body against hers when he picked her up. Her hips rolling against his and the feel of his lips. Knowing now that he could smell her when, when she thought of him, she at least had the decency to blush when in class. On one particularly hard day Hermione couldn’t take the way her panties were clingy to her. Figuring that no one would see since she was sitting in the front row anyway she briefly opened her legs to allow air to circulate around her thighs. Right as she did that Professor Lupin stopped his lecture, closed his eyes, set his mouth in a hard line, and took a deep breath. 

“Professor?” Harry called out to him? The rest of the class, already thinking he was weird, just stared at their teacher. 

“Right, as I was saying.” And he was back to lecturing. Hermione closed her legs allowing the Professor to regain some composure. 

She thought he might try to talk to her. Even yell at her for being so indecent. But nothing. He bid farewell to his students and exited to his office. 

Two weeks. Hermione didn’t bother to try and get his attention again. She knew his resolve was stronger than her ability to be obnoxious. Plus in their classes now, whenever the teacher wasn’t looking, Malfoy had a way of waving his arm all around while he and his friends openly mocked and laughed at her. 

She could tell she was withdrawing again. Harry and Ron had taken to trying to silently communicate through looks at the table. Hermione tried to smile at them to let them know she appreciated the gesture, but really she was fine. Lavender and Parvati gave her pitiful glances and attempted to draw her into conversation. At one point Lavender even came into the bathroom and opened her shower cubicle “on accident” then proceeded to talk to Hermione for 30 minutes straight. Again, she appreciated the gesture, but the 14 year old just wanted to be alone. 

Being alone had its upsides. She managed to spend all her time on perfecting school work. She spent hours pouring over her textbooks, secondary books, and rewriting her notes and essays. All of her subjects were going beautifully. Except for Defense Against the Dark Arts. She hadn’t picked the textbook up in over two weeks and had barely been paying attention in class. Choosing to go back to her default of reading for other classes during practicals and daydreaming during lectures. 

December 17th. A day that will go down in Hermione’s calendar and memory until the end of time. She received her chapter test back from Professor Lupin and right there at the top was an A. An Acceptable. As in less than an O. Hermione felt lightheaded like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. She didn’t realize she had been holding her breath until a small throat clearing got her attention. 

“An ‘A’ huh Granger! At least this was just a test on Defensive spells and not your looks cause you’re a troll for sure!” Malfoy, always so clever. At least his dimwitted brethren from Slytherin thought so. She could just make out their cackling in the background. 

“Miss. Granger,” Professor Lupin had stayed standing in front of her. She didn’t look up at him just lowered the paper to her desk so he knew she was listening. 

“See me after class.” He turned and walked away. 

Hermione’s ability to breathe didn’t seem return no matter how still she sat in her chair. She was only somewhat conscious by the time all the students had left. 

“Hermione.” She refused to look at the man. “Hermione, be reasonable.” 

She felt him leave in front of her so she went to grab her bag to leave the class as fast as possible. Stilling her, there was a hand on her arm. She studied it. The skin was warm, but had see hard work. She could feel the callouses from holding his wand is no many duels and the roughness that comes from being outside or working with your hands. His fingers were long enough that he had to keep them bent even though they circled her arm. Having him touch her after weeks of nothing brought all the emotions to the surface. 

“I failed. I failed something.” Hermione whispered. She knew her voice sounded croaky from the tears she was holding in. 

“Hermione, you didn’t fail. You might not have performed as you would have liked, but you didn’t fail.” He was laughing at her. She turned her head sharply and glared at him. 

“Okay, okay white flag. We’ll call it what you want.” The Professor put his hands up in surrender, but was clearly still chuckling at her. “Listen, I wanted to apologize about my behavior the other night.” 

“The other night? You mean almost three weeks ago?” Hermione knew she was incredulous. 

Professor Lupin took a quick glance behind him and closed the door locking it and silencing the room. “Yes, that night. As you know werewolves are effected by the lunar cycle and with it being a full moon the next night I was bit more aggressive than I should have been. The bruise on your arm didn’t go unnoticed by me.” 

Hermione looked down at the arm he was still grasping. Just below where his hand currently sat was a fading bruise from where he had grabbed her to force her out of his room. She could have healed it, but she liked the reminder that the night had happened. 

Clearing his throat he pressed on, “I wanted to apologize because I think you know by now that I’m not the only one who has noticed that you have withdrawn. You push your food around. You spend all your time in the library. I barely see you with Harry and Ron. And now this. This grade. Hermione, if it was me, please know I never meant to hurt you to this extent.” 

She finally looked over at him. As much as being avoided by him hurt meeting his eyes after such a long time was like drinking water on a hot summer day. 

“You didn’t mean to hurt me to this extent, Professor?” Hermione asked him. “To what extent did you mean to hurt me?” 

“I’m sorry that came out wrong. I didn’t mean to hurt you at all. You are a brilliant girl Hermione. You don’t need my validation to know that. You might not believe this, but I know what it’s like to feel so alone. So isolated. I’m flattered by your, um attention, but I can’t allow you to put yourself or me in this situation.” She had never seen a grown man so nervous. He was stammering over his words and pausing constantly. 

“I believe you, Professor Lupin. But I still don’t understand what you mean by situation?” Hermione was holding his eye contact. While she spoke she wrapped her hand around the one that still rested on her arm. Slowly intertwining their fingers. 

“Don’t be obtuse Miss. Granger.” Her teacher bit out. Looking her up and down to break the stare down. He didn’t move his hand. “You know this isn’t appropriate. Beyond the fact that I’m 20 years older than you. I am your teacher. Your professor. I grade your papers. I’m an authority figure in your life. It’s the classic definition of abusing a power dynamic.” 

“19 and a half.” 

“What?”

“You’re only 19 and a half years older than me.” Hermione tilted her head up to look in his eyes again. 

“That isn’t the point Hermione. It wouldn’t matter if I 9 months older.” He was speaking to her softly. She could tell he was beginning to gain concern that she didn’t get what he was saying. 

Hermione couldn’t help herself. Something about the way her head went all fuzzy when he was around from his scent, from his towering body that seemed to encompass her whole frame. She allowed her body to do what it wanted. She quickly sprung up from her seat and sat down in the werewolf’s lap. She put her arms around his neck and buried her face in the side rubbing her lips against the ever present stubble. 

“Sir, please. I know the age difference. I understand what you’re saying. I just don’t care.” Hermione whimpered into his neck. 

“I do. Hermione, I’m a grown man. You are a child.” The teacher was trying to use his stern voice. 

“I’m not. I won’t lie and say I know everything. You were right I don’t. As you said, you can smell me. You know what you do to me. I know what you do to me.” Hermione brushed her lips against his neck with intention this time. 

“Hermione.” Lupin stifled his groan, “please, stop.” 

Her intentions led her to his jawline. She laid soft kisses until she reached his chin. Just as quickly as sitting in his lap she put her lips on his mouth and gave him a proper kiss. He didn’t move. 

Until he did. Hermione let out a gasp when she first realized that his lips had pushed back against hers. He took control immediately and his movements, no doubt from experience, caused Hermione to melt further into his chest. She tugged at the back of his neck trying to get as close to him as possible. Her nipples had grown hard and pushed through her shirt to rub against Lupin’s buttery soft button down. The new sensation cause a small moan, one the girl had never heard before, escape her mouth. That broke the spell. 

“Enough.” Professor Lupin growled at her while yanking her arms from around his neck. “Hermione, I’m going to ask you once to remove yourself from me.” 

Hermione immediately hopped up and sat back in her original seat. “Professor, I want-“ 

“Stop it now Miss Granger. You will do the following without speaking; collect your belongings, leave this classroom, go to dinner, and then straight to bed. For the rest of the year you will perform in my class as you would any other class. You will not beg me to call on you. You will not pretend you don’t know how to cast spells. You will not attempt to stay after class or pound your way into my private rooms. You will not in anyway attempt to speak to or see me. Do you understand?” 

Hermione saw the look in his face. He was cold and distant. Not just distant, the man she felt so strongly for was gone. The look in his eyes. Her Lupin wasn’t there. Hermione quickly packed up her bag. She tried once again to say something to the man, but his frozen eyes met hers and he said, “never again.” 

_______

Hermione barely made it back to her dorm room. She was going to cry in her bed and she wouldn’t allow herself to feel any shame over it. When she finally stumbled through the door the tears had already started falling. They came harder when she saw Lavender and Parvati sitting on their beds picking out nail polish with teen magazines open and scattered around. They stared up at her with open eyes and mouths shocked beyond belief at their roommates state. Hermione threw her bag on the ground and threw her body on her bed. She tried to pull her curtains around her bed through her sobs. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Lavender practically flew across the room and on to the double bed. “What happen? And don’t say nothing! You’re wasting away. You’re the only swot we know who hasn’t spoken in almost two whole weeks.” Lavender was staring into her eyes. 

“He doesn’t want me.” Hermione cried out. She knew her voice was hoarse so she was probably speaking at too loud a volume. “We talked about my feelings and he told me to never speak to him again.” Hermione cried out the last words. 

She saw the girls exchange a look. Parvati got up from her bed and came to lay on the other side of her distraught roommate. They allowed Hermione to cry until she fell asleep sometime later. When they got up to go to dinner it’s like they made a silent pact to never discuss it again. 

_______

And she listened. Hermione listened to everything her Professor asked of her. She didn’t speak to him. She barely looked at him. Not even the day after Harry had told her that he offered to teach him the Patronus charm. She could feel her blood boiling at the blatant favoritism. She had to remind herself that this was good for Harry. Even if she had to repeat it like mantra while she dug her knife into the dinner table. 

"Well, I’m off to bed. Hogsmeade tomorrow. See you in the hall Ron.” Hermione gathered her stuff and turned quickly on her heel. That wasn’t necessary, but it felt worth it. 

____ 

She held him as he cried out. 

“He was their friend! I hope he finds me. Cause when he does I’m going to be ready. Cause when he does I’m going to kill him.” Harry wailed. She had never seen her best friend so distraught. She held him until he had calmed down enough to tell her and Ron what he overheard exactly. 

They decided to get out of the snowy field and make their way back into town. As Harry had to go back through Honeyduke’s cellar to get in the castle anyway they stopped to load up on candy before the Christmas Holidays. Hermione picked up her favorites, Sugar Quills. Having been so deprived of candy throughout her childhood Hermione couldn’t get enough of the sugary lollipops that would turn to sticky chewy candy in your mouth. She could lick the sweetness off her lips for hours after having one. 

“Professor! Hi!” Harry called out. Hermione counted to three before turning to look her friends way. There stood Professor Lupin picking out different chocolates. 

“I have to say Professor we thought you only used chocolate for medicinal purposes.” Harry and Ron joked with the teacher as if they were old friends. Under the cover of pretense Hermione stared at her professor’s face. He looked exhausted. She rolled the sugar quill around in her mouth sucking the sugary syrup it produced. Staring so long at the man seemed to work as he finally gave in and looked her way. His eyes darted down to her mouth and watched her roll the Quill one more time around her tongue before taking a deep breath in. 

“Well, I have to be heading back to the castle. Just out to get provisions for the Christmas break. I’ve offered to stay behind to chaperone.” Lupin was shuffling backwards trying to leave the shop. 

“Brilliant! We’re all staying as well. Let’s get together and practice. A proper dueling club?” Harry was beaming. The prospect of having more time with his parents old friend elated him. 

“Yes, yes. We’ll find the time.” He was still shuffling towards the door. 

Harry and Ron said their goodbyes and swung back through the shop to check the back. Hermione popped the lollipop out of her mouth while still eyeing her professor up and down. 

“Sir.” Surely one whispered word to him wouldn’t be breaking too many rules. 

Without a word he turned and exited the shop. 

____ 

Hermione was sitting in the last DADA class, the last class of term, before the holidays. The past weekend had been rough. After learning that the Malfoy’s had convinced a panel of judges to execute Buckbeak her emotional state was more fraught than ever. She was crying at everything. Getting mad at most things. It took everything in her to not tell her roommates to shut the fuck up two nights ago. All of that was fine. All of that completely paled in comparison to how, what did the girls call it, turned on she was. Hermione couldn’t stop thinking about Remus Lupin. His tall frame. His hard muscles. Wide hands. Perfectly rough stubble along his neck. The neck she had kissed. And his lips. Full and soft. Perfectly warm just like the rest of his body. The body heat that had warmed hers. His defined chest pushing up against her harden nipples causing electric shocks straight to her center. She had sat through four days of Defense class. By the fifth day she was out of underwear from having to change it so frequently. In a moment that would shame her mother’s mother’s mother Hermione had taken off her panties after lunch only to find she had none left. She would have to get through her last two classes of the day without any underwear. She would just get through it. 

Professor Lupin was sitting at his desk when she walked in. He cut his eyes towards her and watched her walk down, skirt swishing, until she reached her desk. When she sat at her usual front center table she chanced a quick glance at him. He was still looking at her so she mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ to him with a shoulder shrug. She was sorry. Hadn’t he told her that her smell had an effect on him? The lack of underwear, of no barrier, between her most intimate parts and his sense of smell must have seem liked a desperate attempt or plain cruelty. 

Class proceeded as normally. Since the class had already taken their final the professor allowed them to stand and practice spells. Lupin was walking around checking everyones duels and had already passed her twice. Not close enough to accidentally brush against him, but enough to get a light dose of his smell. The third time he walked behind her he stopped in his tracks. She thought for sure he would take a minute to correct her stance or wand work. They still had 15 minutes left of class and in an unusual change of course he asked everyone to find their seats. Ignoring the groans he went to the front of class and perched on his desk. He asked the kids to participate in a discussion about what they would like to learn next year. 

Hermione didn’t think through her plans. She felt the familiar slickness build up between her folds and gush out. Without meaning too she had sat down without folding her skirt underneath her. Her bare bottomed rested on the wooden chair and was beginning to grow sticky from her wetness. She bit her lip in order to suppress her face from showing too many of her thoughts or the annoyed groan that was building in her throat. 

“Alright, that’s all for class. Enjoy your holidays. Anyone staying feel free to pop in for extra dueling lessons. Miss Granger, please stay seated a moment.” Professor Lupin gave her a hard look before returning his smile at the departing students. Hermione was so confused and in that confusion stood to gather all her items together. 

“Oh my god! Ew!” Pansy Parkinson’s voice rang out nastily. Hermione turned to look at her and saw she was pointing at right at her. Almost none of the kids had actually left the classroom yet so they all stopped to look at what the pug face Slytherin girl was so riotous about. Hermione looked down at herself and saw, between her legs, two thin red lines had trickled down to her calves. 

“Seriously, Granger. I don’t know wether to be more surprised that you actually have working girl parts under there or disgusted by the fact that you don’t know what the fuck is happening with your own body. Thanks a lot you just forced us to watch your actual mudblood drip on the floor of our classroom.” Pansy was ruthless. Hermione always knew the other girls in Slytherin were scared of her, but until this moment she didn’t realize how many horrible words one person could string together. 

Hermione couldn’t think. She couldn’t talk. She just turned around and sat back down. Thanked whatever God there may be that the boys were too embarrassed to say anything and just stared straight ahead. She heard the classroom door close. 

“I’m sorry Hermione. I. Shit. I don’t know what to say.” Professor Lupin looked embarrassed. All of the bullying he’s allowed to happen to her and this is where he starts to feel bad. 

Hermione was crying. She wiped her face on her cardigan sleeve and looked up at him. “You could smell it then?” She asked. 

“I, uh, yes. I could smell your blood. And I knew you hadn’t sustained any injuries during class so I figured.” Lupin was digging his toe into the ground taking quick looks down at her. 

“And what, Sir, does blood smell like?” Hermione needed education. Something clinical to focus on. 

“All blood smells differently. I know what your blood smells like. Metallic of course, but your blood has your sweetness that’s just you.” Lupin sat down beside her. A call back to the last meeting they had where he told her to never speak to him again. “Fuck me.” He growled out. 

“Come here.” He pulled the young girl out of her seat and into his lap. 

“Oh Professor please won’t my.” She couldn’t finish her sentence as she was already on his lap. 

“I’m use to blood by now.” He smiled at her. For the first time since they met Hermione thinks he gave her a real smile. 

“I miss you. I miss feeling close to you like this.” She whispered into her lap. 

“Hermione please. Nothing can change.” He matched her volume. Again, for the first time sounding genuine. 

“Everything for me has changed, Sir. Everything.” Hermione looked up at him. She ran her hand over the stubble of his neck and up his jaw into his hair. “Do you see me as everyone else? Cause I don’t think you do.” 

“No Hermione I don’t. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out why you were so isolated. And then it hit me. Right before you came to my quarters that night.” Hermione furrowed her brows in a question of why at him. “The girls are horribly jealous of you. The boys wish to be closer to you. To be able to hold your hand. Have you run your hand through their hair. To kiss your lips.” 

“I’m so sure Draco Mal-“ “Yes, even him. Pet, this is one of those things where trust me I know more. They want these things with you.” 

“But I only want to do them with you.” Hermione looked in his eyes so he could feel how serious she was. “And more. I feel like … I want to do more.” For that part she had to look away from him. Hermione Granger couldn’t believe she was sitting on her professor’s lap telling him she wanted to do more. More what exactly? 

“You’ll end me.” Before she could respond Lupin leaned in and kissed her. Softly, but passionately. The kind of kiss Hermione heard the older girls talk about that makes your knees go weak. She buried her hands in his blonde hair again and let out the tiniest of moans of how good it felt. She pushed her breast into his chest and this time was able to rub her small nipples up and down his shirt. The moan that escaped her was louder and throatier. She knew she sounded like those actresses in the movies where they pretend to have sex. Maybe this is how it actually felt. She felt her professors hands grab her waist tightly at her moan and felt the rumble in his chest the more she brushed her nipples over his shirt. 

“Okay, okay. We need to stop.” He gently pushed her back, but keeping her on his lap. 

“Please. Please don’t push me away again. I can’t take much more of this pattern.” Hermione was begging. Openly pleading for him to keep her. 

“I won’t. I promise, I won’t.” He took her chin in his hand. “But Hermione you have to make me a promise in return.” 

“Anything.” Begging. 

“No one can know about this. No one. And it can’t be obvious or forced. If we have time together it has to happen organically. Not because you refuse to leave my classroom or you’re caught sneaking our of my bedchambers.” He was being serious. 

Hermione straightened up. “Okay, I understand.” She was nodding her head. She did understand. The word “this” as if there was something to “this” was buzzing around her brain like a loose snitch. 

“And we go by my timetable. You need to know the importance of everything we do. There's more to how you interact with men than what your body tells you. I’ll teach you.” Hermione smiled openly at him. 

“Please teach me everything you know.” At that the older man laughed out loud. 

Just as she was about to lean in for another heart stopping kiss there was a knock at the door. Hermione quickly jumped out the seat and sat in her own chair. Professor Lupin vanished the blood, much to Hermione’s horror, from the front of his pants, her skirt, legs, and desk area. He opened the door. 

“Hi! Ron said you needed some um help? So I came.” It was Ginny Weasley. Precious Ginny who was holding a small bag. 

“Right well I’ll let you girls get on with it.” Professor Lupin stood and made his way up the stairs to his office. 

“Thank you so much Ginny. I really owe you one.” Hermione hugged her younger friend. 

“Oh no worries. I hope you know how to use what’s in here. I knicked it from Lavender and have no clue how to work it.” At the look Hermione gave the red head they both busted out laughing and headed out the door. 

Hermione didn’t see the man she had left standing in the doorway shaking his head at himself and the situation he was into deep to get out of now. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Christmas Break, Part 1.  

Hermione was floating. There was no other way to describe it. Sure, Professor Lupin hadn’t defined what “this” is, but he had acknowledged that there was a “this.” He had admitted that he wanted to spend time with her. It just had to be the right setting. She couldn’t believe how after almost 4 months he had finally come around. She had so many questions for him. She would go to him tomorrow, wait stop. No. She wouldn’t go to him. Remember what he said, Hermione, she chastised herself. She had all but forgotten the unfortunate incident that led to their talk in the first place. She could barely make out what Ginny was saying, let alone be able to tell anyone what she was talking about, because of how fast questions were forming in her mind. Walking in the dorms she knew she looked way too happy for someone who had just experienced an epic humiliation. 

“Hermione? Oh god! Parvati! I think Ginny confounded her!” Lavender came rushing to Hermione grabbing her arm tightly. 

“What? Oh Lavender, hi. You look wonderful. Has your hair been like that all day?” Hermione smiled at the girl while reaching up to twirl a blonde lock around her pointer finger. 

“Fuck me. Did you take something? Hermione, are you high?” Lavender was shouting at her now. 

“No, silly. I’m just so happy because…” Hermione caught herself just in time. She couldn’t tell anyone. “I’m happy because school is out and I can spend all break in the library reading my new novels!” 

At this point Parvati had entered the room and was staring at Hermione’s twirling finger. Coming back down to earth the dazed witch realized that she shouldn’t have said she was happy for school to be out. That was not like her. Removing her hand from her roommates hair she tried to recover as best she could.

“I mean the last couple of days of term are always so boring. It’s best to get them out of the way so we can set our sights on the new term.” Hermione smiled at the others. 

“Ah. Never mind Pav. She’s fine.” Lavender laughed lightly. 

“So Hermione, how are you? I mean what happen in class was so rough.” Parvati took a seat on her bed and folded the remaining the clothes she would need for the Christmas break. 

“Oh I’m fine. I mean it’s Pansy. Can you really expect any sense of maturity from her? I’m lucky actually. I think the boys are so mortified by what happen they won’t have the nerve to say anything to me.” Hermione was outright laughing. She hadn’t laughed about the bullying she endured ever. 

“And you didn’t even see Draco’s face. He looked like he was going to pass out. I swear I thought he was already as pale as the moon and yet he found a more translucent shade!” Parvati was cackling at the idea that Malfoy nearly fainted at the sight of a little blood. 

“Draco? What about Ron? His face was so red I thought he was having a panic attack. He fell against the wall outside the door because he wasn’t breathing. Even Harry rolled his eyes at him. ‘Come on, mate. It’s just blood.’” Lavender had tears running down her face as she mocked Hermione’s two best friends. 

Pretty soon all three girls were clutching their sides as they laughed at the 13 year old boys in their class. Hermione had never felt so connected to the girls. 

“I’m going to miss you guys over break. Just me here with the bumbling little boys.” Hermione was able to finally wheeze out a whole sentence. 

“Us too! Surprisingly enough - ow!” Lavender yelped at Parvati hitting her arm. “I meant that in a nice way. I just mean…well Hermione, it’s been really nice this term to have you actually talk to us about yourself.” Lavender was blushing from her honest statement. 

“On that note. We got you a little something from the two of us. Nothing big don’t get excited.” Parvati skipped back from her truck with a beautiful gold box in her hands. 

Opening the gift Hermione pulled out what looked like a standard quill and two notebooks. One burgundy red like their house colors. The other a deep emerald. 

“Thank you girls. Really this is so thoughtful.” Hermione couldn’t take her eyes off the dragon hide bound books. 

“So first, don’t worry they’re ethically made in Romania. We asked Ron about it seeing as his brother Charlie works with the dragons there. When Charlie sent them along his note said ‘For Hermione anything.’ So we know they’ll pass your test of do no harm. Second, they do two different things.” Parvati took the notebooks out of Hermione’s hands. 

“Okay, so the green one is a journal just for you. Like any other diary. Except once you write down what you’re thinking the journal will reflect the ink color back to you showing your mood at the time you wrote it. So say for example you’re writing about how much you love apple tarts, but you’re really thinking about Draco Malfoy licking your-“ “SHE gets it Pav.” Lavender interrupted that train of thought. 

“Anyway, yes. The ink will change colors based on your thoughts.” Lavender took over for the girl who just shrugged her shoulders. “The red one is special as well.” Lavender and Pavarti exchanged a look of uncertainty. 

“It’s um. Well. Okay, so Lav and I have notebooks that communicate with each other. We write something down and it comes up in the others book. It’s easy to connect them so we got this one and connected it with a set of our own. That way we can write to each other. And yeah we know we share a room, but if you’re in one of your classes or if you ever need us you just pull this out and voila!” Pavarti flourished her arms about. 

“Thank you.” Hermione couldn’t speak. “This is. This is took much. I can’t believe-“

“Oh I forgot. The quill is special too. If you use it, like the green journal, the ink will pick up your emotions and change ink to show them. Sometimes when we write to each other we use special quills so it’s easier to say what we want.” Lavender said. Hermione knew the girl was never good at expressing her emotions. This must be a continuation of that. 

“Well, I love them.” Hermione hugged the books to her chest. “And I got you two something as well.” 

Going to her trunk Hermione reached into a secret, possibly, illegal extension drawer and pulled out two small packages. She handed one to each girl. 

“Books! Hermione, I didn’t think you the type to gift books - ow. Again.” Lavender glared at Pavarti. 

“Ha. Ha, Lavdener. Open them.” Hermione sounded sarcastic, but she allowed the happiness to seep into the demand. 

The two girls ripped the paper off the books and started shrieking with excitement. Hermione had gifted the incredibly special, incredibly limited editions, of Witch Weekly’s tombs of Every Hair Tip and Every Makeup Tip ever submitted to the magazine since its inception in 1184. Hermione didn’t put name tags on them assuming it wouldn’t matter which book went to which girl. 

“Hermione, oh my god. Lavender it’s every single hair trick! All of them. This is now the biggest book I own.” Hermione tried not to grimace at Parvati’s declaration. 

The two girls ran forward hugging Hermione tightly against them. The rest of the evening the girls hung out and packed. At dinner Hermione asked them to sit with her, Harry, and Ron. Lavender, sitting down next to Ron, blushed a deep crimson when Ron saw her book and commented that he “loves a girl who reads.” 

Hermione, fought a deep eye roll at that, but took a quick peek at the teachers table. Professor Lupin was sitting next to Snape. The both of them trying hard to engage in civil conversation while also looking like murder was on their minds. He looked around the room and met her eyes with a warm smile. She pretended to nod at something Harry said while smiling back at him. 

Christmas break was going to be good. 

_____

The next morning the castle was a flurry of action and shouts as those who were going home quickly ate breakfast and headed for the train station. While she was trying to joke with her roommates Hermione was being serious about wanting to spend the majority of her time in the library and reading her new books. She decided that she had two books already so a trip to the library wasn’t necessary for today. Judging by breakfast about ninety percent of the students had gone home. All of Slytherin had gone. About ten Hufflepuffs students whose parents decided to do charity work stayed and 15 Ravenclaws who wanted to get a jumpstart on their reading for next term. 

As for Gryffindor, besides the trio and the other Weasleys, there were only a hand full of older students. Hermione couldn’t help the glances she kept giving the Professor’s table. It looked like almost all of the Professor’s were still at the school, but she knew many of them chose to keep residency there instead of pay for the extra expense. Professor Snape and Lupin were once again in a lively debate which was better than the other option of volatile silence. She tied her glances into long looks around the room. She was sitting by herself as Harry and Ron chose to sleep in on their first day off. How badly she wanted to smile at her Professor and let him know she was thinking of him. But she quickly drank her coffee and ate a slice of toast before heading back to the dorm. 

It was only 9:30 when she got back, but everyone had already cleared out. Taking the lack of occupants Hermione indulged in a bath. A long one. She tapped her wand on the faucets so her favorite mixture of jasmine, vanilla, and moss would fill the room. And she laid there peacefully for hours reading her first book of the day. Taking the occasional break to swim around the pool like tub or with slow movements and a keen eye shave one leg perfectly before returning to the next chapter. She got out just after 1:00. 

Hermione figured she was already breaking so many of her rules she might as well continue the indulgence. Fighting for a quick moment to not get dressed and try to “organically” find her DADA professor Hermione opted to put on her coziest pajamas and turn the fire down so the room would cool. With that she snuggled into her bed, closed the curtains to block out the sun and told herself when she woke up from this rare nap she would walk the halls until she found Remus Lupin. 

5 hours later. Hermione had never napped for so long in her entire life. She rationalized it by saying that her body needed it after she put it through its paces during first term. Rolling over and doing a bunch of bone cracking stretches she grabbed the red notebook for her nightstand. The girls had already written in it. 

“Saw Ben on the train. I just smiled and kept walking to a different compartment! I’m going to pretend like I don’t see him when we get to London.” Parvati had written about a 5th year Slytherin she swore was Romeo to her Juliet. 

Hermione, not understanding the game of it all, was quickly able to figure out that Parvati did this all the time and every time the boy she had eyes on grew more aggressive in ways to get to her. Back in October Seamus had fallen asleep below the girls dormitory stairs waiting to see if Parvati would come back down before going to sleep that night. 

“Hm,” Hermione thought out loud, “maybe that’s what I’ll do. Just to see if the experiment works.” 

The witch changed her plans in that moment. She wanted to go walk the halls and see if she could find her professor, but decided that she would go to dinner and then head back up to hang out with Ron and Harry in the common room. If Parvati was right she would come across as cool. Lavender’s voice telling her that boys hate girls who follow them around rang in her head. 

Getting up the witch, now set on her resolve, quickly perform a mouth cleaning charm and dressed in more appropriate attire of workout leggings and an oversize Oxford sweatshirt. All throughout the holidays the students would be allowed to wear whatever they wished. She made her way down to the Great Hall slowly. When she walked in Ron bellowed, “Oi! We thought you decided to go home!” 

All eyes were on her. Professor McGonagall stared at the back of Ron’s head as if she had never been so disappointed in one single person before. Hermione laughed at the idea that she’d never seen the Transfiguration teacher look at him that way. She took her seat and began putting salad on her plate. 

“I really had a wonderful day. I took a bath. Napped. Read.” Hermione was smiling. “I thought we could hang out in the common room together. I don’t think anyone else will be around as the 5th years and above have Hogswarts privileges during break.” 

The boys agreed and the two quickly finished their dinner. Hermione spared one look around the hall, telling Harry she wanted to make sure none of their friends were here before they left lest they invite them to tag along, and let her eyes slowly move over the dais at the front. When brown eyes met mature green she let her small smile grow wider. Then shrugging her shoulders as if she didn’t find what she was looking for she turned on her toes and gracefully walked out of the dining hall. 
That night the Golden Trio hung out playing exploding snap and letting Hermione talk about her theories for Ancient Ruins while whispering to Harry the best moves in the game of chess he took on against Ron. The two of them together still lost. Around 11:00pm Hermione found herself longing for another quick bath and her bed. Today was a good day. 

_____

The next morning Hermione decided that she wouldn’t actively try to avoid Lupin. She would respect his desires for her to not seek him out, but she would try to do everything exactly how she wanted to do it. Starting with breakfast where she kept her head buried in a book as she had unexpectedly reached the surprise twist and was lost to the words. Right as the boys walked in she was finishing up. 

“Hermione! Ron and I are going to play a quick game of pickup Quidditch. We need you to come help release the equipment and keep score!” Harry was trying to ask her to come outside with them in a way that made it sound as if she was winning something. 

“You want to try again?” Hermione arched an eyebrow while sipping her coffee. 

“Please come hang out with us outside and watch us play Quidditch even though we know you hate it, but we want you there.” Harry gave his signature smirk. 

“Fine.” Hermione let out one chuckle. “But! I need your help first. No groaning, shut up Ron. I need you both to come to the library with me and help me carry the books I need back to the dorm.” 

“Hermione, uh listen. You’re a witch. If you need I can get McGonagall to come down here and give you the whole magic is real talk again.” Ron was starring at her. He tried to grab her hand as if she was his patient and he was delivering comfort. 

“Shove it Ronald Weasley. We all now that I can carry the books just fine. Madam Pince only lets me take out ten at a time ever since Crookshanks threw up a hairball on a book that spoke poorly of kneazles.” 

Ron attempted to let out another groan, but was stopped by Harry shoving his shoulder and promising that after breakfast they would meet her in the common room. 

Ron might have felt like a prisoner, but Hermione was in heaven. She would be able to check out as many books as she wanted now. The boys would check them out and carry them back to the common room for her. Perfection. As she walked out of the stacks and rounded the corner to drop off two more books with the boys she was met with robust laughter. 

“Only three more needed! Oh hello Professor Lupin.” Hermione dropped the books on the table having come to a standstill next her to teacher. Standing so close she could smell his cologne? Maybe that was it. Or just his natural pheromones. 

“Actually, Professor, I’m sorry to ask, but would you mind helping me get the last three off the shelf. Two are in the restricted section and one is too high for me to reach. I could get it myself, but Madam Pince doesn’t allow me to use the ladder.” Hermione had looked up at the man quickly and back down to a reference sheet she had written. 

“Finish your story about the ladder ‘Mione.” Ron was laughing at her expense, but staring at the Professor he was so fond of. 

“Since I fell off of it last year.” Hermione’s face had gone red and she shot Ron a murderous look. 

“Okay, okay no need to commit a crime over spilt…. Hermione.” The young witch shot the man she wanted so badly an open mouth look that showed her shock and displeasure at having been the butt of a joke amongst the boys at the table. “Come now Miss Granger I will assist you with your literary pursuits.” 

Hermione stomped off to the book on the top shelf. When Lupin caught up she simply pointed up at the book for him to reach up and grab it for her. Hermione didn’t remember the fact that as a werewolf he could hear every mutter she made under her breath including a humorous one of “oh isn’t Hermione so funny. She tries so hard at everything isn’t it laughable.” He let out a laugh he tried to swallow. They reached the restriction section. As his magical signature had been added to the wards of the metal gate he stood closely behind Hermione, too closely, and waved his hand to push the door open. Ever since the Chamber of Secrets was opened Madam Pince and Dumbledore had decided on extra precautions on the restricted section. Only one person allowed in at a time unless it was a student with a teacher. The metal door is the only thing that remained of the gate as it was now warded that no one could see through, in order to protect the titles of the books from being seen, and no noise could be heard from inside the section. 

Hermione quickly darted in before her body’s reaction at having Professor Lupin so close to her and watching his big hands work non-verbal spells could produce such a smell that he would be tipped off her growing arousal. This was a library for God’s sake. She didn’t know where she was going, but she thought she would just look at titles until her mind cleared enough for her to  focus. Again, she forgot the attractive man was also a werewolf. Hearing the gate close behind her Lupin was behind her, basically touching his whole front to her back, before she could release her second breath. 

“Hermione. Tell me what I did to make you run like that?” He whispered in her ear. 

“I would hardly call that running.” She sniffed. 

“Tell me.” He still whispered, but it was becoming a demand. 

“I’d rather let you see it… or,” she licked her hips, “feel it.” 

At her bold words and invitation Lupin took in a sharp breath. He couldn’t believe what the 14 year old was saying or offering. “That’s too bold of you Miss. Granger.” He tried to control himself. 

Hermione turned around quickly stumbling backwards from the closeness of the two of them, but he caught her with both hands and pulled her body back towards his. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. You’re right that was too bold. I, uh, it’s your body so close to mine. You smell so nice. And the way your chest presses into me.” Hermione reached her small hand up to caress said body part while she was speaking. She ran her finger tip in between the buttons; deep enough so they both knew what she was thinking, but shallow enough to not actually touch his skin or hair. 

“And watching you do magic. I know the older we get the more simple spells will come to us with nonverbal magic, but just two weeks ago I saw Professor Snape have to use his wand to access this part of the library.” Hermione looked up his tall frame. Drinking in every inch of him. Meeting his eyes she licked her lips and pressed them together in a roll. She could feel his deep rumble in his chest from laughter. 

“Hermione, you have no idea the pleasure it brings me to hear you say that I do something better than Snape.” Lupin slid his hands down her arms. 

“Then why are you laughing at me.” The girl pouted up at him. Not sexy, but she was letting her body do its own thing. 

“Because I don’t know many witches, if any, that could say they get turned on by watching a wizard do some type of magic.” 

“Professor, no one can see us in here. Please, kiss me.” Hermione had her hand in the nape of his neck tugging his hair gently. She couldn’t believe she was asking him for this, but with him so close they both already knew what she was feeling. 

“No, Hermione. And before you stick out that bottom lip again or get upset I’m not pushing you away. This is one of those things where you have to trust my knowledge. I could kiss you now. I want to kiss you now, but anyone who saw us leaving the gate would know we had been too familiar in here.” He was kind and patient. He spoke to her, explaining new concepts, in a way that he would a peer. 

“How would they know though?” Hermione was actually curious. 

“One day I’ll show you what you look like after I’ve properly kiss you. I’ve only seen it once and it’s all I think about now.” Hermione had turned to look for books after asking her question. Finding both that she needed and holding them up in triumphant she tugged his hand back towards the front gate. 

“Well, I can understand that. Only problem is now I have to change my panties again. These are ruined for the day.” Hermione looked over her shoulder and up at the man she wished would explore with her. 

Lupin grabbed her hand and pulled her back into him roughly. “Don’t say that Pet. Don’t, don’t.” He was pleading, but instead of ice in his eyes Hermione saw fire. The sign of lust dancing across his features. 

“Sorry, Sir. I just know you like honesty.” She couldn’t help it. She smirked at him. 

Regrettably, they made their way back to the table where both the boys were sitting and Hermione announced it was time to go. They bid their farewells to their DADA Professor until harry pivoted and call after him. 

“Professor, if you aren’t doing anything in a couple of hours come down to the pitch. Ron and I are going to do a pick up game. Hermione is going to keep track of the score. Maybe you could finally help her learn how to play.” Harry attempted to whisper the last part. 

“I can hear you.” 

____

The December air was chilling her to the bone, but the sunshine and the warm blooded man sitting next to her seemed to make the biting environment worth it. 

The boys had kicked off into the air about 15 minutes ago after they, along with Professor Lupin, gave Hermione a run down of all the Quidditch equipment they had. It would have been funny watching the three of them explain how the snitch worked if their tone of voice was absolutely infuriating to the intelligent witch. 

“Okay, so right now Harry is looking for the snitch while also trying to defend his goal post from Ron who has the quaffle.” Professor Lupin had sat down next to the girl, thighs practically touching, on pretense that he was giving her play by play information. 

“What’s the snitch, again?” Hermione turned to him wide eyed in clear mockery. 

“Yeah, yeah. I thought you wanted to learn?” Professor Lupin’s lopsided grin made Hermione’s stomach clench. 

“Please. I understood all of this the first match. You boys, I swear. You think because I don’t enjoy something it must be because I don’t understand it.” Hermione rolled her eyes and began digging through her bag for the book she knew was in there. “You three are just the same.” 

That gained her a hearty laugh from the werewolf. A rare laugh where he allowed his head to tip back and the sun reflected off his pale skin showcasing the silver of the scars that ran across his face and neck. Hermione sat the book in her lap and gripped her hands on the bench. 

“What’s wrong? Your heart rate just changed.” Stopping his laughs Lupin looked over at her with concern. 

“It’s nothing. It’s just the way you tipped your head back all I could think of…” Hermione stammered out. 

“Hermione, please, if this is something you want you have to be able to vocalize what you’re thinking.” Professor Lupin let his shoulder rest against hers while he whispered encouragingly to the girl. 

“It’s your neck. When you tip your head back like that,” Hermione took a deep breath in. She could do this for him. “It makes me want to kiss your neck.” 

She bit her lip and looked up at him. Lupin was staring back at her as if he was trying to read her mind. He studied every nibble of her lip and the delicate rise of her brows. 

“Hermione, you shouldn’t say such things when we’re sitting here.”It sounded like he was scolding her, but his heavy tone made her toes curl in her trainers. 

“I’m sorry, Professor. I’m beginning to think I have terrible timing. I thought you wanted me to be honest?” She was staring at her lap trying to reign in the blush on her face and neck. 

“And I do. What I meant is you shouldn’t say such things when we don’t have the luxury of being in private.” 

Hermione looked at him again and smiled shyly before titling her head up to search the skies for her best friends. After another hour, and Hermione losing all feeling in her fingers and toes, Harry caught the snitch, but still lost to Ron who had scored too many goals. 

“Well, Hermione what do you think?” Harry was breathless from his flight. 

“I can honestly say that I still don’t get the appeal, but perhaps I have a new found appreciation for the sport.” She was being honest. If such an impressive man like Remus Lupin could love Quidditch then perhaps there was something to it. 

“Actually, now that I think of it, Hermione I have a book on the origins of the game. It really details the how and why it came to be. It’s rooted in arthimancy did you know?” Professor Lupin was in full teacher mode. “Stop by the tapestry of my quarters some time this evening and I’ll pop out and give it to you.” 

“Uh, no offense Professor, as it is the only sport worth liking, but the book sort of kills the mood.” Ron looked offended that someone would try and make his precious sport in an intellectual pursuit. 

“Ron do you ever get bored being so much like yourself.” Hermione admonished him. 

“No.” Always oblivious was the sweet red headed boy. 

“Thank you, Sir. Yes, I’ll stop by.” The four began their walk back towards the castle and parted ways at the stairs. They all had to get ready for dinner. 

“Hermione, be honest do you actually care about the history of Quidditch.” Harry smirked at her. 

“Yeah,” she grumbled back at him, “okay fine. Probably not, but Harry he is a teacher. It’s important to make good impressions. You never know when you might need a reference or help with a project. If reading a book he recommends, which will probably be delightful, makes it clear that I value his insight I’ll do it.” 

The boys shrugged their shoulders at her and laughed about her need of validation from the Hogwarts staff. They parted in the common room and agreed to meet in an hour for dinner. 

_____

That night at dinner Hermione watched as the Defensive teacher finished his supper early and took off through their private door. She allowed two deep breaths in order to not rush her eating or seem anxious. The boys didn’t seem to notice the slight bounce her knee had under the table. After another 45 minutes of regaling how it was maybe possible that one of Ron’s goals was against regulation Hermione followed them out of the hall and up the last half flight of steps to their dorm. 

“Oh! I forgot, sorry. I told Professor Lupin I would stop by and grab that book. I should go now before it gets too late.” Hermione was casual as she tried to fake her internal battle of actually going. 

The boys said they would see her later as they wanted to rematch in a game of chess. Hermione gave them a smile, knowing they would lose all sense of time, and turned to flounce down the stairs. She reached the tapestry containing the werewolf’s bedroom and tapped her wand on the bricks just as he had shown her to alert his wards that someone wished to speak to him. 

“Hermione! What can I do for you?” The professor smiled down at her while coyly looking around the hall for any lingering bodies. 

“Sorry, to bother you Sir, but I wanted to collect that book you were talking about this afternoon? It’s just I thought I would read two over break, but I’ve already finished the one.” Hermione tried her best to hold back the conspiratorial smile at their playacting.  

“Right, right of course.” Lupin took a deep breath through his nose. Looking satisfied he held open the tapestry to grant her access. “I’ll have to look for it. You must promise me you’ll savor it and not plow through it.” 

“I find you can savor while plowing, Professor.” Hermione tried to defend herself. She turned to look at Professor Lupin who had exhaled heavily through his mouth while stopping dead in his tracks in the hall. “What?” 

“I don’t think you know the things you say sometimes dear.” Lupin ran his hand across the younger girls back causing a shiver to run down her spine straight to her center. Lupin opened the door and motioned for her walk in first. As she passed him she saw him close his eyes and take another breath in through his nose. 

Hermione walked into the now familiar sitting room/study of the man she was… she didn’t know what she would label them as just now. Best not to ask tonight. She was grateful for the roaring fire as the chill she had developed from the afternoon Quidditch match hadn’t left her yet. She spread her hands towards the flame allowing the heat to lick her icy palms. Hearing the door close behind her she spun around to study the allusive teacher as he made his way over to sit on the plush couch. He sat down with his legs spread wide as if he were relaxed, but his tense shoulders told Hermione that he still wasn’t comfortable in her presence. 

“You use your sense of smell a lot?” Hermione asked trying to break the silence. 

“Yes.” Professor Lupin was looking at her. Almost has if he wanted to try and read her mind and was getting upset that he couldn’t. 

“I love how you offer so many details. Really quenches my thirst for knowledge.” She was laughing at him. Drawing back to the last time she was in this room, but the situation wasn’t as light hearted as it was meant to be tonight. 

“Sarcasm gets you far does it? Smell is the best way I know how to decipher what’s going on around me. I can smell people, how close they are, if they’ve been sweating, not emotions per se, but I can tell the difference between a nervous sweat or if they’ve been doing sport. And of course you know I can smell other afflictions.” This time when the Professor spoke of the witches aroused sex he wasn’t trying to intimate her. He was gentle and almost bashful. Still making eye contact, but not in a way to embarrass her. 

“So in the hall that was to see if anybody was around,” he nodded at her guess, “and when I walked in the door that was because you knew that I was already feeling…” Hermione mentally chastised herself. Why couldn’t she say it? How would he take her seriously if she couldn’t get the words out. 

Deciding that action was probably a better course anyway she took the few steps forward, watching him hold his breath, and stopped between his legs. She took a shaking breath steeling her nerves and put her leg up by his thigh. She bent to one side as if she was going to sit down next to him, but last minute brought the other leg up and sat down to straddle his lap. Staring into his eyes she let go of the breath she was holding slowly. With only her leggings covering her sex she could feel his zipper pushing into her center. It was a foreign feeling that made her want to roll her hips into his. A motion she knew would bring a jolt of pleasure. 

“Hermione…” Lupin whispered while slowly shaking his head. 

Not wanting to be told no she dipped her head to his neck and began kissing up from the collarbone that peaked through his worn t-shirt. She allowed her lips to drag along the stubble not knowing if he actually liked that or if it was something she did just for herself. Finally, reaching his jaw line she landed one kiss before moving to his lips. He said her name one more time as if he was going to protest her, but then was kissing her back. 

Knowing he wanted her there in the room with him, that he had invited her, that there was a “this” that they shared caused Hermione to pour all of her emotions into the closed mouth kiss. She wondered if he could feel how much she adored him. Cared for him and how it had been growing over the last four months. She wound her arms around his neck letting one hand play with the hair in the nape of his neck. So shaggy. She used the other hand in an attempt to bring him closer, but he sank further back into the couch. No bother, she leaned forwarded into him. Cursing herself for wearing her thick Oxford sweatshirt she couldn’t get the slight relief that came with rubbing her nipples on his clothed chest. She didn’t want to, but her mouth produced a whine. 

“What’s wrong?” He was off her mouth as fast as lightening. Whole body tense prepared to flee. 

“It’s this sweatshirt.” Hermione whined again. She hated the way it sounded and had no idea where it was coming from. 

“Your hands are freezing, but I could turn down the fire if you’re hot?” He made to grab his wand from the side table, placing one hand on her waist, Hermione used one hand to stop his arm. She used the other to balance herself on his shoulder. 

“No, no it’s nothing like that. It’s just that the few times before I’ve liked the way it feels to be pressed up against you. This sweatshirt is too thick for me to uh feel anything.” Hermione waved a hand over her small breast. “I could take it off?” 

“No, no. Best leave it on.” Hermione’s hand movements were stilled by his large ones. The hurt must have been on her face because he continued on, “as lovely a treat as that would be I really think we should wait for that part.” 

She whined again. Of god she was turning into every other girl. 

“But, Sir, it feels really good.” Hermione tried again to take it off. 

“Remember what I said, pet? We go by my timetable? I don’t think you’re ready or what you’re asking for, but soon maybe.” He knew how to stop the conversation because he leaned forward and captured Hermione’s lips with his own once more. 

Their kissing, while never progressing to the French style, lasted for another five minutes before Hermione found herself rolling her hips into his. The first time was a semi accident. He had moved and she moved with him creating a roll. The second and third time she did it it was on purpose for sure. The same feeling she got when she brushed her hand against her clit bloomed within her making her core warm and her toes curl and uncurl. Until Lupin’s large hands landed on her hips and still her movements. 

“Not yet, pet.” He said in a firm, but gentle voice. 

“Then when?” Hermione needed to stop whining. She wanted to stop whining. She just didn’t know how. 

“We’ll know. It’s getting late you should get back.” The werewolf attempted to get her up, but she threw her arms on the back of the sofa staring down at him. 

“I’ve been here 20 minutes. It’s only 8:30. Where were we?” Hermione gave him a devilish smirk. 

They went back to kissing. Professor Lupin telling Hermione to slow her movements or stilling her with his giant hands. She allowed him as he wasn’t breaking away from her. Twenty more minutes had passed and he finally broke the semi make-out session. 

“Okay, now it’s time for you to go.” She could tell he was serious this time. It was almost curfew and regardless or not that it wasn’t enforced during break if she ran into a professor they would surely want to question her about where she was coming from. 

“Okay, but Sir? I need the book.” They both laughed at that. 

Book in hand Hermione gave her teacher one more kiss before exiting the tapestry covered hall and heading to bed. 

_____

The Hogswarts break was slow and peaceful. Hermione took up residency in the library in the plush armchairs in front of the fire all the the way in the back where even during term no one seemed to wander. She would lay out all her books on the table in front of her and slowly lose herself to the other worldliness her novels had to offer or allow her mind to operate on overdrive as she followed and deduced theories with wizarding scholars from across the world. 

The best part of this silence was the warm man who would take up another arm chair in front of her fire. Between meals he would approach her and comment on a book that she was reading or that she had laid out using that as an excuse to strike up a conversation that would allow him to sit with her and thumb through the pages or silently reread a book - for academic purposes of course. 

One evening after dinner, before the library closed, Lupin kept lowering his book, stopping, and picking it back up. Hermione could hear his intakes of breath. 

“What is it?” She put her book in her lap. She was relaxed as she knew even Madam Pince was no longer around. Choosing to trust Hermione to leave at the right time and charming the doors to lock behind her. 

“You’re still reading those books. I told you they were rubbish.” Lupin sat up and looked through some of the other books on the table pulling out another one on lycanthropy. “This one is a perfect example. This author, Wayne Clement, he’s voted against every piece of legislation that would somehow help werewolves. Even studies that would only serve to interview those who lived in their human form most of the time!” Professor Lupin was getting incensed. 

“I didn’t know that about him.” Hermione said softly while closing her book and setting it down on the table. “I just assumed that something had to be correct in them. I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for? You didn’t write the books” Lupin laid back against the couch and stared out the window watching snow fall. 
“I know, but you did tell me they were less academic and more assumptions. I should have taken your word for it. I’m also sorry that people talk about you that way.” Hermione wanted to go to him. Cuddle him on the couch while they discussed how the world viewed him as less than. 

“I don’t consider it me they’re talking about.” He met her eyes. His eyes had gone cold looking into her. 

“I know, Professor, but technically it is. I mean you can’t separate the fact that you are-“ Hermione didn’t realize the treacherous ground she was walking. 

“Yes, I can. I do. We are not the same thing.” She just nodded her head at him and looked down. Raising her eyes back up at him she made a show of picking up the book, closing it, and tossing it on the return bin located next to her chair. She grabbed the other, more offense, book and tossed it in there too. She tapped it once with her wand and it was gone. She could tell he was still irritated by her reading material. Hermione quickly cast a revealing charm and when finding no one else rose from her seat and made her way over to him. Even though he tensed she bent to her knees and dropped a chaste kiss on his lips. 

“Good night.” She smiled at him to let him know she understood he needed his space now and that she would see him tomorrow. 

_____

At breakfast Hermione was glaring at Ron over a cup of coffee trying to decide if throwing up or slapping him as hard as she could would make her feel better. He must know that forcing people to watch him eat like that was criminal. 

“Good morning students.” Professor Lupin held his coffee cup and wore a huge grin. “I was thinking I would take up your idea Harry and invite you three to the classroom tonight for a friendly dueling club.” 

The food that was halfway processed in Ron’s mouth fell out as he went to cheer. Harry jumped up out of excitement. Hermione stayed quiet. 

“Thank you! Professor, this is great. Hermione you’re coming. You’ve been in the library all break.” Harry was practically screaming. 

“Perhaps if we add in some theory it could be a better use…” Hermione tried to hide her own excitement about getting to learn closely from Lupin again. The deep eye roll from all three men told her that wouldn’t be happening. She needed a break anyway. The last few weeks when not reading about werewolves or cramming for finals Hermione had been reading everything she could about Buckbeak’s defense. It was all for not when that morning at breakfast Mr. Weasley sent her an owl letting her know that rumor has it Lucious Malfoy had threatened or bribed the panel to put him to death. At least Hagrid had warned them this was coming in advanced. 

They agreed to meet after dinner that night. The day passed quickly with Hermione spending a bit too much time in front of the mirror. If the boys noticed they didn’t say anything. The trio finished up quickly which seemed to match Lupin’s own hurried eating. The four left the Hall and made their way to their classroom with Harry and Ron racing. Hermione walked slowly relishing the fact that her teacher matched her pace. Although he kept a respectful distance and they didn’t speak Hermione still had to bite her lip in order to suppress her desire. When his eyes cut to her and he licked his bottom lip she knew she was caught. 

“You’ll have to focus tonight, Pet.” He whispered right before reaching the classroom door. 

“I’m focused on something.” Hermione grumbled lowly knowing his wolf hearing would allow him to hear it. 

Clearing his throat Professor Lupin makes his way to stand in front of the three of them. 

“There are a couple of rules, no griping Harry, so we don’t curse each others legs off.” The teacher couldn’t stop grinning. He was clearly in his element. 

“Nothing that causes blood or loss of senses. Those are the big ones. Use your best judgement. I expect you guys won’t actually hurt each other.” He chuckled at Hermione’s glare towards Ron. “Okay Ron and Hermione you first.”

They stood apart from each and performed the customary bows. Hermione could hear Harry whispering to Lupin telling him that while Hermione knew more spells and how to perform them Ron would be the better dueler because he had better instincts and quicker reflexes.  He wasn’t as smooth as he thought he was. Hermione chose to not process that in this moment and instead took a breath and watched Ron carefully. 

Ron started by trying to cast a simple Expelliarmus. His wand movements were tight and he didn’t give many tells. Hermione threw up a quick protego. The two battled back and forth each using shield charms and curses equally. A desk laid ruined by a misused confringo. Both students were sweating from the strain, but Hermione could tell that Ron was growing more and more agitated that he hadn’t been able to best her yet. Hermione stood straight and still as possible trying to look like an easy target. As soon as Ron dropped his shield Hermione quickly threw out a jelly-fingers jinx. If he had read ahead in the book he would have recognized the wand movement, but instead he thought she would cast another shield. With his fingers useless he dropped his wand and Hermione darted from her place and grabbed it. 

“Well done, Hermione! Well done!” Professor Lupin was clapping for her. She couldn’t help the blush and ear to ear smile that broke out on her face at the praise. It felt like she was breathing for the first time hearing him praise something she had done. 

“Thank you, Professor.” Hermione mumbled. 

Next up was Lupin and Harry. While Hermione and Ron demonstrated what a duel would look like in real life between equals Harry and Professor Lupin were putting on a delicate ballet piece. Hermione watched as Harry’s real natural ability for defensive spells came out and he was able to combat and dodge Lupin’s spells. He rarely had to use a shield charm instead opting to fire back curse for curse. 

Professor Lupin looked like a solider. Hermione imagined that this is what he looked like during the first Wizarding World. His tall frame moved with incredible grace as his strong legs were able to move him in accordance with his curses or dodges. He was able to get through without using any shield charms. After 45 minutes he started talking back to each of Harry’s attempts correcting his form and letting him know what would work in a real life fight. 

“Harry, this has been amazing, but I think an hour is all the patience Hermione and Ron have.” Professor smirked at his best friends son before firing off a quick well measured confringo. Enough to blast him back and lose his balance, and his wand, but not enough to actually hurt him. 

“Very nice. Harry, really. Quite the show.” Harry recovered from the floor, but was smiling widely at the fun he had with his Defense teacher. “Harry take a breather and then you and Hermione will go.” 

After 30 minutes and everyone indulging in a healthy amount of chocolate Harry and Hermione stood to duel. 

It felt like time was standing still as neither of them wanted to make the first move. Staring at each other trying to pick up on a sign of any movement. Hermione knew what was coming. He wouldn’t be able to help himself. As soon as the first vowel formed on his lips she moved her wand and muttered something no one could pick up. 

“Expelliarmus!” Harry bellowed at her. 

Ron started laughing as the spell hit her square on. His laughter quickly died as her wand stayed firmly in her hand. Hermione uttered a sticking charm as Harry was casting. Using the suspension of time that happens after a spell is casted Hermione shot back a stinging hex. Harry was able to dodge the worse of it and it managed to only hit his non-wand hand. He could live with the pain and quickly shook it off. 

The two of them went back and forth, fighting hard, for 30 minutes. Hermione had sent a chair at Harry that attempted to sweep his legs. Harry blew a hole in the balcony leading to Lupin’s office. Quickly shaking off the cement and dust Hermione had to cast her shield charm as she regained her composure. Harry sent a confringo that knocked it down, but Hermione was ready with a stick fast hex. Harry was locked to the floor. If Hermione could just hit him one more time… 

As Hermione thought over what she could hit him with Ron coughed loudly. That distracted her just enough. Harry cast an incarcerous binding Hermione’s body as she fell backwards on the floor. Harry casted another expelliarmus and grabbed Hermione’s wand. Ron whooped in triumph and Professor Lupin clapped his hands and then Harry on the back. Harry looked back at her on the floor with what Hermione decided was smugness and a smirk. 

Next thing she knew her and Harry’s wand were flying through the air finding her hand easily. She ended the binding spell and jumped up casting a petrificus totalus and silencio spell on Harry. Hermione stood there panting hard. Her hands were shaking and she could feel her hair sticking to her forehead from sweat. 

Harry was laying on the ground, but it was the other boy and the man in the room she was worried about. Ron was staring at her like she had just said she was made captain of the Holyhead Harpies. Professor Lupin looked impressed, but concerned. He waved his hand and the spells on Harry were removed. 

“Bloody hell Hermione!” Harry yelled at Hermione as he climbed up from the floor. “How did you do that?” 

“Never mind that. Professor, Harry won right? Harry took her down first.” Ron was clamoring to get Professor Lupin’s attention. 

“Yeah, I mean technically I did take her wand first.” Harry had stood next to Ron and rounded on Lupin in the same fashion. 
Hermione was seething. She just did magic well beyond the abilities of a third year and these dumbasses were to preoccupied with making sure the authority figure in the room said she lost. 

“Wow, thanks guys.” Hermione muttered behind them. She felt lightheaded. She thought she spoke loud enough, but when no one but Lupin acknowledged her words she thought maybe her voice was as weak as her body felt. 

“Sorry, Harry. No.” Professor Lupin was still looking at Hermione, His eyes soft and a small grin playing on his lips that he was trying to suppress. “The rules of duels are clear. The winner of a duel is declared when the person who has fallen can no longer duel. Wand or not.” 

At that the boys finally turned and looked at Hermione with the look of shock that she felt her feat deserved. 

“Wow, Hermione. How did you do it?” Harry was staring at her slacked jaw and wide eyed. 

“Honestly, I wish I could say I just channelled my energy, but truthfully I have no idea. I don’t know if it really counts considering how I’m feeling.” Hermione tried to laugh, but her body began swaying. “Here’s your wand Harry.” 

Hermione had attempted to levitate it back to him, but at the first sign of using her magic her whole world went black. 

“Hermione? Hermione?” Professor Lupin’s gentle voice called for to wake. 

Her head felt heavy. She groaned, but words were impossible. Slowly she pried her eyes open and was met with harsh light. Except it couldn’t be because it was nighttime and the only light would be coming from candles. 

“Oh, Hermione. Bloody hell. You scared the pissed out of us.” Ron let out a sigh of relief that he seemed to immediately take back when Professor Lupin turned around with a scowl at his foul language. 

“How are you feeling?” Professor Lupin’s eyebrows were so tightly knitted together they were practically touching. He was moving his eyes all over as if checking for physical injuries or for her thoughts to be written somewhere on her body. 

“I’m okay. Just a bit fuzzy in my head.” Hermione attempted to sit up, but was overcome with a case a vertigo. 

“Alright, take it easy.” Professor Lupin placed a hand on her arm in order to help her back down. Although the boys couldn’t see it Hermione could feel him make small circles with his thumb bringing her comfort. 

“What time is it?” She accepted the glass of water Harry had gotten her and took a small sip. 

“Nearly midnight. You’ve been out for almost an hour, but we didn’t want to leave you here alone.” Harry sat on the couch next to her hips and gave her a once over himself. 

After arguing back and forth for 10 minutes Hermione made the decision to stay in the office for the night. Lupin was able to transfigure the sofa into a very nice double bed and get her comfortable with actual sheets and pillows. He laid various chocolates down next to her and went to escort the boys out. 

“How are you feeling? Actually?” He asked when he walked back in. 

“I really do feel fine now. My head is starting to clear. I’m tired, but I guess I’m starting to feel normal.” Hermione slowly sat up and was able to do so without difficulty. “Professor, I’m… what happen? I don’t know how to do wandless magic. And I definitely don’t know how to cast non-verbal spells. But I haven’t had an outburst like that since before first year.” 

“What were you thinking right before the ropes shot out to tie Harry?” Without the boys around and his classroom door locked he could openly take her hand and massage it gently. 

“I was thinking about the spells I used. How I should have cast those right after the stick fast hex. But I was so mad. Did you see Ron’s face? He was elated that I lost to the great Harry Potter.” Hermione was bitter. She took a breath trying to center herself. 

“Emotion is a powerful thing. Especially when dealing with something magical.” Professor Lupin rarely spoke in poetry, but Hermione thought this might be the closes he gets to being vulnerable with her. 

“You don’t have to tell me.” She took his other hand in hers and pulled him down so they could lie next to each other. 

“Hermione, you aren’t well. This would be taking advantage.” 

“Just lay with me.” Hermione rubbed her hand through his hair. “And maybe a kiss.” 

And for a few minutes he indulged her before he told her to get some rest. 

____

The next morning, Christmas Eve, Hermione woke up to complete silence. In the dorms there was always some kind of noise. The girls, or the fire, or the common room. It was rare that she could awake to sunlight and peacefulness. She could see that the fire had gone out in the hearth, but she still felt brilliantly warm. 

Yet, she was alone. Laying next to her was a note from her …man? What should she call him? Later. Much later they will talk about it. 

Hermione, 

I had to meet with another teacher. I hope you wake in time for breakfast. I will be at the table. If you are awake for breakfast please make sure you eat a healthy meal. You need to rebuild your strength. 

You won’t be happy with this, but please try to use as little magic as possible today. You’ll be fine by tomorrow. 

-R 

She looked at the old fashion clock on his wall and saw that it was 8:00am. Plenty of time to get to breakfast. She composed herself and left the DADA classroom to head to the Great Hall. 

“Miss Granger there you are!” It was her head of house. Shit. She needed an explanation.
 “How are you feeling? Professor Lupin told me what happen last night at your impromptu dueling club. Wandless and non-verbal? I have to say I am impressed given your age, but not surprised.” 

Professor McGonagall was smiling kindly at her. Of course, the best explanation would be the truth. Professor’s Lupin’s need to always have his moral compass point due north wouldn’t have accepted anything else. 

“Thank you Professor. As I was saying last night I’m not sure this is an actual feat given how its drained me.” Hermione admired the older witch for allowing her students to be honest without embarrassment. 

“Trust me dear I know. Let’s get you to breakfast and then you can rest.” They walked and chatted quietly about how the time turner was working out for her. While it was ambitious, not having to carry Divinations anymore was a big help to her course work. They parted with a wave and a joke from Professor McGonagall about being invited next time and Hermione joined the boys. 

Breakfast was easy. She could openly smile cheerfully at Lupin as it wasn’t a lie about what happened. The boys said they were going to do another Quidditch pick up, but mercifully excuse Hermione due to needing the rest. She headed to the library and cuddled up in her favorite chair by the fire. 

Shortly before dinner she was joined by the man she wished she had woken up to that morning. His cheeks were red and his hair was wind swept. 

“Something tells me that you didn’t just watch the boys play Quidditch.” Hermione raised one eyebrow at him. 

“Well what can I say? Ron wants to try out for the team and I thought I would show him a thing or two.” She loved when he was like this. She could see glimpses of him from when he was younger or when he wasn’t as burdened with the heartache the first war imposed on him. 

The two sat together for some time with Hermione asking him advanced questions about Defensive spells and nightly creatures. Professor Lupin stood making Hermione realize that it was dinner time. She read through lunch having not been hungry, but now that she was feeling 100% her appetite was back. Wordlessly, the man cleaned up the books that she had pulled down and helped her out of her chair. She allowed her body to slide against his as she passed by him. She didn’t miss how he shook his head and clenched his fist. There’s a particular happiness that comes from knowing you can effect someone has much as they effect you. 

As the library doors closed and the pair went to part ways they found their feet stuck to the floor. A slight chiming of bells was heard and Lupin let out a most audible groan. 

“What?” Hermione looked around frantically. 

“Mistletoe.” Lupin lowered his head, eyes closed, and pinch the bridge of his nose. “I thought Dumbledore would have stopped this, but I guess some the elves are sticklers for tradition.” 

The tradition of mistletoe at Hogwarts are beyond predatory. The elves would, through no fault of their own, hang it throughout the castle. Except after it was hung it could move around as it liked. Once it had you trapped with a partner it wouldn’t let you leave and the bells would continue to get louder until there was a kiss. 

Professor Lupin looked conflicted as the bell chimes grew louder. Hermione was giggling. 

“Honestly, Hermione it’s not funny.” He would never not be worried about everything. 

“No one’s around. It’s dinner time and we’re in front of the library during school break.” If she could have added in a ‘duh’ without losing house points she just might’ve. 

He peaked over her head and turned to look behind him. Seeing no one he bent down to the short girl and kissed her quickly, but properly, on the lips. They were freed and in silence. She giggled the whole way to the Hall. 

After dinner Hermione found herself back in the library trying to finish the Quidditch book that was lent to her. She desperately wanted to care about it, but found she just didn’t. It seemed she was right all along. Wizards, men, trying to prove they are somehow superior by mounting something and saying they can do it better than anyone else. 

It was 10 o’clock when she finished and let the library close up behind her. She made her way through the halls, but was stopped when a bright light temporarily blinded her. 

“Out pass curfew, Miss. Granger.” Came the deep growl. 

“Oh, Professor. I’m sorry. I got caught up in my reading? Will I be punished?” Hermione must have asked the wrong question because Professor Lupin picked her up and pinned her against the brick walls. 

“You shouldn’t say such things Miss. Granger. You never know how wishful thinking can become action.” She didn’t have time to wrap her legs around him or move her arms before he was dropping her again and backing away. “God, that was stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, Hermione.” 

“Sorry, what just happened? I ask because I think have mental whiplash.” Hermione tried to step to the mercurial man, but he stepped back. 

“What happen is I forgot myself for a moment. I’m getting too comfortable around you.” He wouldn’t look her in the eye, but from the shaking of his head Hermione knew he was beating himself up for something. 

“But that’s a good thing. We want to be comfortable around each other, right?” Hermione stayed still, but the confusion was still on her face. 

“Eventually, maybe.” “Maybe? Professor, I’m lost here.” 

“Getting too comfortable leads to getting complacent. This, what we have, is already dangerous enough.” He motioned between the two of them aggressively. 

“Come on. This is not dangerous.” Hermione let out a light laugh. Judging by his face he went from thoughtfulness of their situation to anger at her. 

“Hermione. This will now be the second time I bring up my concern that you don’t actually understand why this is can in no way become public knowledge. That kiss today? Beyond foolish. This secret is the most life altering secret I have.” The werewolf had taken a step towards her. Not to be intimidating, but to implore her to see reason. To look in her eyes and really see if she knows what he’s talking about. 

“Well, there is that small secret you keep about being a werewolf.” Hermione tried to break the tension. At Lupin’s exasperated sigh and groaned ‘oh god’ she continued on. “Okay, I’m sorry. I do get it. But constantly having to think about how you are constantly thinking about my age isn’t really fun for me. If you can’t get past that it means you’ll only ever see me as a kid. This, whatever we’re calling this, feels right to me because I don’t think about the age thing. I didn’t think you saw me as a kid. If you do then…” she trailed off into silence so as to not have to say the obvious which is if Professor Lupin only sees her as a child it’s because he wants her to be a child. 

“Of course I don’t see you as that. But it doesn’t matter how much you can spar with me over academics or how you can carry a conversation without it being vapid or forced. The truth is you are 14, Hermione.” Professor Lupin leaned against the opposite wall in the hall as her. She leaned back to mirror his pose. 

“But it’s not just public opinion you’re worried about right? It’s why you won’t let me touch you when we kiss. It’s why you push me off you when you think I’m doing too much. Why you won’t talk to me directly or privately in front of other people. It’s self preservation. If people ever found out… oh god they wouldn’t get it would they? They would never be able to understand how I, how we, feel?” 

Hermione felt stupid. How could she have not thought of this before. How many times had she heard her Dad say that he couldn’t take underage girls in his dental chair because they didn’t have any female staff around to sit in or the whole seminar given to her in year 5 about who to talk to at school if you were being abused. Stupid, stupid girl. Just like he said all those weeks ago. 

“That’s right.” He let out his breath relaxing at her finally verbalizing that she understood what he had been trying to tell her. “I slow you down when we’re together because I know you’re not ready.” 

“No, that’s not it.” Hermione was glaring at him. Her face was cast in shadows, but with his wolf vision Lupin could see the squinted eyes and deep frown on her face. She had found him out. 

“No, that’s not it. I don’t want to lose control with you, Hermione. Because…because if you ever change your mind and realize what you’ve actually gotten yourself into with us I want you to be able to leave pure. I don’t want to taint you.” He said it as if she was the only thing he had ever cared about. If only the witch could take it that way. 

“Right. Thank you for that clarity, Professor.” Hermione spat the words at him. Even without enhanced vision Hermione could tell he was taken aback by her tone. “Throughout this conversation you have basically implied that I am impulsive, short-sighted, stupid, and naive. I can’t possibly imagine what else you could have to say to me. Have a good night, Sir.”

Hermione quickly turned and walked away. They both knew if he wanted to Lupin could catch up with her and stop her. When she didn’t feel his hand curl around her arm so he could spin her around for a kiss, a kiss that would silently communicate how much she meant to him, she walked faster. Speed didn’t matter. He could smell the salt in her tears. 

_____

Hermione woke up after only 3 hours of sleep. She spent the majority of the night crying and using her new journal to write all the mean things she wished she would have said. As the night wore on those mean things turned into how much she liked this man. The last line she wrote was something like ‘there’s never enough time together.’ Too bad even in her anger the special quill she used only reflected back her sadness. 

“Hermione!!!” Ron was screaming from down the stairs. 

It’s Christmas morning. Hermione must have forgotten in her emotional meltdown. She quickly got up if for no other reason than to get Ron to stop bellowing up the stairs like a wild elephant. She threw on black leggings, an oversize Hogswarts sweatshirt that had been Rons’ from first year and went down to greet the boys. 

“Hey! Happy Christmas! We were worried you died.” Harry was laughing, but he looked concern. 

“Oh, I was caught up in my reading last night and didn’t get back until late. I must have forgotten to set my alarm.” Hermione smiled warmly at her friends and was pleasantly surprised by the hot coffee bar that had been setup in the common room. 

The trio exchanged gifts. In an instant everything went south. Harry and Hermione got into one of the biggest rows they ever had when Harry was gifted a new Firebolt broom from a mysterious person. Hermione spent the morning nagging him to report it, but Harry refused saying it was from someone and surely the tag just fell out. Hermione had never seen Harry and Ron so irate with her then when she asked one of the elves to bring Professor McGonagall to the common room to take the broom. 

“Professor, I’m sure it’s just missing the tag.” Harry pleaded. “Think of the upcoming matches.” 

“That may very well be, Potter, but until we can identify who sent it it would be best to get it check for dark magic. Sirius Black is still on the loose.” Professor McGonagall reassured Harry that she would get it back to him as soon as she could and that his seeker skills didn’t rely on the broom he rode. With that she departed and Harry proceeded to begin his crusade to stare at Hermione as if by sheer willpower he could make her hair catch on fire. 

The group hung around the common room until 11 when brunch was being served in the hall. Hermione ran upstairs to fine proper shoes. She took a minute to write to the girls in their notebook. Another shock to the system when they had already written to her. Parvati was going on about how she was already 1/3 of the way through the book and had tried out a couple of things. Hermione spent longer than she thought writing back to them. She walked down the stairs only to find the boys had already left. Fred and George had stayed behind to wait for which she was grateful for as they wouldn’t make it awkward. 

“Sorry, I was writing to the girls.” Hermione brushed past them. 

“Girls? What girls?” Fred leaned his head back as if Hermione had gone crazy. 

“Lavender and Parvati. They’ve been going here since first year.” Hermione spoke extra slow. “We talk now. It’s nice.” 

They made their way down to the Hall and spent their time laughing albeit in between Harry taking quiet vocal digs at Hermione or giving her the outright silent treatment. Eventually all the Weasley children joined them. Even Percy cracked a couple of smiles when the twins made well timed jokes. Granted, when he was the only one who agreed with Hermione’s assessment of the broom even she started to doubt herself. 

Hermione made a poignant effort to not look up at the staff table. She could still feel the eyes on her as she heard the doors close behind her when she left. 

____

“Hermione?” A gentle voice called her. 

Professor Lupin stood there in her corner of the library with his hands in his pockets. She looked him up and down. He also looked terrible, but she didn’t know if that was from the fight they had or the impending full moon.   

“Can I sit?” He gestured towards his usual sofa. 

“I need the space.” She threw her bag on it and tilted her head at him. 

“Okay.” He said under his breath. “You and Harry were fighting this morning in the Hall.” 

“Yes.” 

“Hermione, please. You accused me of a lot last night and I think I should be able to-“ He was being gentle with her. It was starting to feel like she brought out his anger or all of his personal demons. But this man in front of her was exactly who she knew he probably was all the time. 

“I can’t do this right now. I’m running on no sleep and I, I just can’t do this right now.” Hermione tried her best to sound kind, but she knew in her firmness she was dismissive. 

“Well, I won’t take you away from your studies Miss Granger. Enjoy the rest of your break.” With that the handsome man with the stubbled jaw turned and walked away. She almost called out after him. 

That night, well after curfew, Hermione was sitting next to Ron on the sofa with Harry in front of the fire on the floor. He was still not speaking to Hermione. Ron was making some weird attempt at pretending that he wasn’t on Harry’s side, but it just made the situation more uncomfortable. She found she couldn’t really think about the fight from this morning anyway. Her brain was still full of the fight she had last night and the encounter she had this afternoon. Turning the words over and over in her mind was doing her head in. She was sure she was going crazy. When Harry asked for the millionth time which passage way Ron thought Sirirus could have gotten in from Hermione tried to speak to him. 

“Which passage ways are still open?” Hermione looked over his shoulder at the map. Harry looked at her from the side in the best way a glare can be done from the side and closed the map. She was able to see that he was in his bedroom. 

“Harry, you’re being immature!” Hermione yelled at him as he bid Ron a good night and tried to take off. Until she yelled after him and he spun around to fight with her again.

“And you’re being a know it all! Hermione, did you even think that maybe I would know if the broom was cursed? If it didn’t fly right?” Harry had caught the attention of the remaining Weasley clan at his screaming. 

“Would you have? Harry, think, there are more ways to curse an object than just ruining its intended purpose!” Hermione was flustered. This was a stupid fight. 

“Just for once I would love it if you didn’t have to assume you knew more than everyone. That you didn’t go running to a professor to get involved. That you could accept that sometimes the spotlight isn’t on you for your achievements.” Harry was still yelling. Ginny had quietly moved away as it seemed he was screaming right into her ears. 

“The spotlight on me? Is that what has been happening all this time? Tell me Harry did I receive the spotlight when in first year it was me and my brain that helped you defeat Voldemort. Or perhaps it was second year when I was called a mud blood every day for the amusement of vile bullies. Or no wait, I know, it must have been being petrified! Funny, I got all this spotlight, but how did anyone know that it was my research that helped you because short of whispering it to me in the Hall you sure as hell didn’t tell anyone!” With that Hermione was out of steam. “Oh fuck this!” 

No one said anything. Her words were hanging in the air as she grabbed a thick cardigan and made for the door. Right before she pushed her way out she said, 

“Harry, I don’t know why you don’t trust me. I don’t know why you see me as someone you have to fight against. I’ve only ever wanted to help you and have your friendship, but now? Now it’s like you aren’t even trying to hide the fact that you only want one of those things.” Hermione walked out of the portrait.  

She quietly made her way down to the Defense hall. She had been carrying around her Professor’s Christmas present since brunch. She thought she would give it to him when she saw him, but when she finally laid eyes on him she was still so hurt. Now, after fighting with one of the boys, again, she just wanted to curl up in his embrace and take in his forest and manly smell. 

She doesn’t alert him to her presence; he’ll smell her soon anyway. She dips beneath the tapestry and goes straight for a hard knock on his door. The door opens within seconds as if he was standing on the other side. 

“It’s late.” His face held concern, but his voice gave away his joy at her being at his door. 

“No one saw me.” She ducked in. She kept her cardigan on even though his fire was roaring. Underneath she had worn a green cotton dress that was thinner than comfortable for a highlands winter. Ginny had convinced her that the short length would be offset by the long sleeves. It wasn’t and now she was freezing. 

“I’m glad you came.” Professor Lupin made his way over to her and kissed her sweetly. He wanted to convey how sorry he was, how much she had grown to mean to him in their short time together. 

“I am too. I’m sorry about earlier. I wanted to talk, but when I saw you I was still so mad so I just I don’t know shut down?” Hermione was pacing in front of the fire trying to explain away her action. “And anyway, I wanted to give you a present.” 

“I have one for you as well.” He threw her a cheeky grin. He went to one of his desks and pulled out a neatly wrapped package. She knew it was a book from its shape, but it was rather thick. 

They sat on the sofa and shyly exchanged the gifts. Hermione won in getting Lupin to open his first. She watched as his long deft fingers pulled at the ribbons and pull the strings down the side of the box. Watching his fingers work so smoothly was not the thing Hermione expected to make her mouth run dry. While it seemed they had both grown accustomed her chronic state of want in this moment she new she was getting turned on. The knowledge that she knew what was happening to her thrilled her even more. 

“Really, Pet?” Professor Lupin looked over and smirked at her. Hermione lifted up a bit from her seat and tried to adjust her position to relieve some of the ache that was starting to build. He grabbed her arm. “Don’t do that. Don’t move.” 

Hermione stayed perfectly still until he released her arm. “Sorry, it’s 2 days out from the full moon. I’m a bit sensitive. And you, showing up here late at night wearing that dress. Makes it hard to be a gentleman.” 

He opened the box and took out a glass jar that had the Gryfinndor symbol etched into it. He pulled out a black bag and without even having to look in it he knew what they were. “Sugar Quills.” 

The professor was smiling directly at her now. She pulled the top one out and put it in the glass. She explained how the rest were candy, but this one was charmed to stay in perfect condition and rotate whenever she was thinking of him. Hermione had never had someone express their love and gratitude for a gift she had given to them the way he did. He placed it on his work desk and came to sit back down on the sofa. 

“I know you prefer chocolate, but they’re my favorite. And I figured, if it’s not too bold, that you would think of me when you saw them.” Hermione blushed remembering that day in Honeyduke’s. 

Professor Lupin gave a hum and agreement before pulled Hermione towards him for a deep kiss. This kiss was different from all their other ones. Their mouths remained closed, but both people could feel the passion shared between them. Hermione wasted no time moving to straddle Lupin’s hips. 

“No, no.” He pushed her back to a seated position. She couldn’t help the frown. “Not no I don’t want you to. It’s a no, not in that dress.” 

Hermione stared directly in his eyes as she climbed up anyway. She could feel him groan at the contact their bodies made and feel the deep breath he took in before she placed her lips back on his. She did her best to not roll her hips or move her breast against his chest. Even if he was only wear a black t-shirt and it would be easy to feel him. His strong arms wrapped around her back as her hands tangled and pulled his long hair. They carried on like that until both were gasping for air. 

“Please. I need more.” Hermione looked at him and wondered if she looked as dazed as she felt. She couldn’t tell, but her hair was deliciously messed from where he had pulled it free and her eyes were blown from need. “Please, Sir. I need more.” 

“Okay, come here.” The older man was hesitant, but hoped he would be able to restrain himself enough for her sake. As their lips met he opened his mouth and ran his tongue against her lips. “Follow my lead, Pet.” 

Hermione opened her mouth to grant him entrance and felt for the first time another tongue on hers. Moving it and probing it around while somehow also softly stroking it. Hermione had never felt anything like it. She return his ministrations in kind allowing him to lead while she remained gentle. If she remembered correctly Lavender had said something about too much tongue being a bad drool like mess of a thing. Hermione decided shy was the best route. She could feel her body heating up. Professor Lupin gave a quick soft nibble to her lip and she couldn’t contain the moan that rose up out of her throat. At the same time she felt her panties go completely wet from the moisture he had just caused to build. She wasn’t going to, but she rolled her hips hard against his lap. She threw her head back with a gasp at how the friction felt on her core. It wasn’t as direct as rubbing her hand on her clit, but it was more intentional and knowing it was her Professor, her man, made her do it again only to illicit the same response. She let out an undignified whine when he put his big hands on her hips. She knew he was stopping it. 

“No, please. Please, this is… so good.” Hermione was whispering as her ability to talk had gone out the window. She tired to gain that friction again, but he was determined to stop it. 

“That’s enough for tonight. I’m sorry, Pet. Anymore and I won’t be able to stop myself.” He was cupping her face stroking her cheekbone with his thumb. 

Hermione nodded as she understood exactly what he meant. He helped her climb down as he smiled at her and readjusted his pants. Hermione furrowed her brows in confusion while she watched him make his quick moves. 

“We’re going to talk about why it is that you don’t know what I’m doing, but for now in the interest of cooling things off I’ll just say you aren’t the only one affected here.” He chuckled. “Open your present.” 

Hermione shyly bent down to grab the package off the floor. She doesn’t want to seem too eager; like any other kid who receives gifts at Christmas so she moves as slow as possible. 

500 Activities for the Overachiever 

Fighting the urge to hit him with it she flipped it open and scanned through it. Noting that it was broken up into categories. 

“I skimmed it of course. Basically all of the 300s are outdoors. Thought it might be a good way for you to connect with the boys.” Lupin had his arm resting on the back of the sofa softly twirling her curls between his fingers. He had summoned and fixed two cups of herbal tea for them and was taking a sip.

“That’s good. Because basically all of the 400s are about sex.” She smiled and batted her eyelashes at him. 

He choked into his tea. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Christmas Break, Part 2. 

The next day Hermione made her way to breakfast alone. That morning she had waited in the common room for her boys to come down, but when they did they barely looked at her before heading out of the portrait. She took a few minutes to gather herself and grabbed a book so she would have something to do. Trying to forgo the problems she ran into during first term she thought she would start her reading early. Once she arrived at the table she tried to not sit too close to the boys, but not so far away that if they did talk to her she wouldn’t be able to hear. She was almost done her first chapter when the soothing voice spoke to get her attention.  

“Hermione, why are you sitting so far away?” Professor Lupin was standing in his normal uniform of a moss green button down, cardigan, and soft trousers. He had his typical coffee mug in his hand and was smiling at her so openly. 

“I wanted to get a jump start on the reading for next term. You see this past term I thought my system would work, but I found myself-“ Hermione didn’t want to tell Lupin the real reason she sat like an island at her table. It helped that Harry cut her off. 

“You know how she is, Professor. It’s all about books. No capacity to care about anyone else.” Harry said it with a smile on his face, but Hermione and Ron knew exactly how his words were meant to hurt her. Ron just laughed. 

“Hm, I doubt she’s so one dimensional, Harry. Tabling that, I was thinking you three might want to meet for another dueling club tonight.” Hermione was starting to pick up his tells. She knew it was him who probably wanted to meet for the club. Boys.  

“We’ll be there. Hermione, sorry you’ll have to miss it with your workload.” Harry was acting bold this morning. 

“Actually, I think the rest of the day will prove ample time to get my jumpstart. We’ll see you there, Professor.” Hermione beamed at him with as much sweetness as she could. Harry did nothing, but glare down at his breakfast plate. 

She did in fact spend the rest of the day outlining the chapters she read and getting well ahead for all her classes. At 7 o’clock after she finished dinner she made her way to quickly change in to clothes more appropriate for dueling. She landed on workout shorts, a black tank top with a zip up, and trainers. She knew the boys wouldn’t wait for her so she headed down. When she reached the classroom she almost turned around given the robust laughter seeping under the door. She didn’t know how long she stood their internally battling with her past experiences. Everything told her that the truth was that Harry and Ron were always looking for a way out of their friendship with her. All this over a broom. And when her mind turned to Lupin she could feel her legs telling her to sprint outside of the castle. 

It was another unfair truth that was choosing this moment to wash over her. Professor Lupin had said that he wanted her, but what did he actually mean by that? He didn’t go out of his way to spend time with her unless he made a production about it first. She could think of at least ten different excuses he could use to keep her close to him. When they were together it seemed that Hermione’s hormones took over any control she had so how much did they really know about each other? Sure, she reasoned, he said he liked her intellect and her quick wit, but that would be the same reasons he liked Professor McGonagall. And then there was the obvious. Every time she had seen Lupin after his time with Harry or both of the boys he looked so exhilarated. So happy. Like he just had fun. He never looked like that when he was with her. This only reassured her fears. 
As she was about to walk away the door opened, but no one stood there. 

“Hermione? We can hear you pacing from in here.” The boys laughed at Professor Lupin’s greeting. She knew he hadn’t meant it as a joke, but it stung nonetheless. 

“Hi, sorry, I’m here.” Ron openly rolled his eyes. 

If the Professor picked up on it he didn’t say anything. He vanished the desks and chairs making plenty of room in the class. First up was Hermione and Ron. 

And it was over before it started. Ron came out of the gate strong. Probably because he was angry. Possibly because he was showboating to Harry and Lupin to make up for his last lost. He tried to move swiftly in order to get her exhausted from dodging and having to keep a strong shield charm. Of course, both boys suffer from the same condition, arrogance. At one point Hermione had dodged another confringo, barely, but came away with a scraped leg. It didn’t escape her that Lupin hadn’t called time at her drawn blood. 

Ron started laughing and mocking her less than graceful movements. It took less than three second for her to hit him with a body binding spell so tight that the only thing moving were his nostrils flaring with anger and deep breaths. 

“Well done, Hermione. Let’s take a 20 minute break and you and Harry can be paired.” Professor Lupin was inspecting her handy work on Ron as he spoke. Releasing the ginger from the spell Ron shot her a murderous look and took off to sit next to Harry. 

Even from across the room she could tell they were plotting Harry’s strategy. She stood by herself watching the Professor. He must be able to pick up on something now. He knows they’ve fought. Surely, he can’t be this strict with not being alone with her that he would not even stand with her off to the side in front of other people. She knew he couldn’t smell her emotions for if he had that skill desperation would be coming off her like 2 Knut whore. He couldn’t smell it though and he went to stand between Harry and Ron facing her. She didn’t know if he saw her shoulders fall, but from the way his mouth twitched she knew the pain written on her face was obvious. She turned her back on them to gain composure and walked over to sit on the steps that lead to his office. This would be a long 20 minutes. 

“Hermione. If you’re ready.” Lupin called for softly. 

She got up and turned to face them. She noticed that Ron looked downright pleased as if he himself was going to deliver the final blow. She couldn’t read the DADA teacher’s face. Harry was glaring at her through slits for eyes and he looked like he was going to bare his teeth any minute. The friendly dueling club was over. 

Unlike the last duel Harry wasted no time in sending out his curses towards the frightened witch. He took a similar approach as Ron except he was much quicker on the draw. The duel was only five minutes in and Hermione was already out of breath from dodging and countering as much as she could. Harry was ruthless. He was able to keep firing back as if he wasn’t effected at all by her movements. They carried on for another 10 minutes before Harry sent a jelly leg jinx which Hermione tried to deflect by spinning. He must have been prepared for that because he hit her immediately with a silencio. Losing her ability to talk would mean she would have to rely on non-verbal spells way beyond her level. The last time was still a mystery. 

Harry started to ease up thinking he was the winner when Hermione was able to cast, albeit weak, but still cast an expellarimus. The wand rattled in his hands causing his eyes to go wide. That was all the time she needed to jump behind a barrier to release the hex on her vocal cords. However, in her attempt to jump behind anything Harry sent out a stinging hex. 

The way Hermione’s scream rented the space of the classroom caused several things to happen at once. Harry dropped his wand and instantly looked for his professor. Ron jumped up so violently he knocked over his chair in his attempt to get to Harry. Professor Lupin also leapt up in a panic and ran for the witch on the floor. 

When he arrived to her trembling body even he couldn’t believe the impact the simple curse had. 

“Harry! Harry! Come here! What did you do?” Professor Lupin was demanding. The coldness that lived within him came out trying to get answers. 

“Nothing, Professor! You heard me! It was just a stinging hex.” Harry was worried. This wasn’t just a friendly dueling bruise. He had really injured Hermione. 

“First year stuff really.” Ron shrugged his shoulders indifferent to the pain Hermione was clearly enduring. 

“That isn’t helpful, Ron. Fine, Harry.” Professor Lupin scolded the boy and tried his best to take Harry’s word at face value. He reached down and put his hands on Hermione’s leg only for her to scream again. The young witch screwed her eyes shut and attempted to curl in on herself as the pain was becoming too much. The whimpers that were escaping her were out of her control and she was worried she would be sick from the pain. 

Professor Lupin stood and made his way to the side of her upper body. Finding that he could touch her shoulder without her reacting so aggressively he put his hand around one arm. 

“Okay, Hermione. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get you off this floor. Help me get her up.” Professor Lupin gave a hard look to Harry. The two younger boys exchanged a look which only pissed their teacher off further. “Now!” 

At that tone Harry moved to grab Hermione’s other arm. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Hermione screamed at him. Opening her eyes long enough she got a sick sense of joy at seeing the shock that overcame the boys faces. It was quickly shrouded in black as she closed her eyes again and groaned out ‘no.’ 

“You boys go back to your dormitory. We will be discussing this.” Professor Lupin was still being harsh with them. After the door had closed he levitated her up the stairs and on to the sofa. He quickly turned it into a bed again. 

“Hermione, I need to look at it. I have some salve I can put on it, but I need to see it to make sure I use the right product, okay?” Her Lupin was back. Gentle voice. Calm. Stroking her hair. 

“Okay.” She was able to grit that out. While his hands on her didn’t feel as badly as they had downstairs she still had to bite back a small yelp as he moved her leg. Quietly he retrieved the lotion from his stock closet and carefully rubbed it on her leg. She couldn’t make out what he said, but it sounded like a set amount of minutes. 

After so much time Hermione was able to open her eyes again. A few minutes after that the pain was gone. And she wanted to leave. 

“Thanks.” Hermione said while making to stand. 

“I don’t think so. That was beyond anything I’ve ever seen a stinging hex do. You need to sit and rest.” Lupin pulled her hand back down so she sat with a thud on the bed. “Why didn’t you tell me Harry was that upset with you?” 

“What do you mean? So upset that he would try to numb all the nerves on my right side? Must have slipped my mind.” She was resentful. She was sarcastic. The past 2 hours playing in her head from the moment she reached his door until Ron looked put out by her pain. 

The teacher allowed a few minutes of silence to pass. He grabbed her hand and moved his thumb in circles on the back. He knew that brought her peace. He allowed a few more minutes to pass before speaking. 

“Hermione, I don’t know if you’re having a problem unless you tell me.” He tried making eye contact, but she refused to look at him. “I care about you and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Not just that you can, but that you should. I want you to know that I want to hear about your life.” 

“Ha. My life. Seriously, Professor, I really don’t think you want to hear about the latest gossip I’ve gotten pulled in to or how for the one hundredth time in only twenty-eight months Harry and Ron have found another thing to blame me for just to turn around and be mad at me and stop speaking to me. Honestly, I thought maybe it was just them, but now I’m starting to think that the male population is just predictable.” Hermione said her words harshly. She didn’t try to hide it. She was mad at him. 

“I won’t argue with your assessment. I’m sure you have evidence to support your claims. But Hermione look at how this is effecting you. The both of you! Talk to me.” Professor Lupin had grabbed her other hand in order to force eye contact. 

“Ignoring that you’re trying to make the case that I should talk to you about me while bringing up how badly it’s effecting Harry I’ll say this. I’m being honest. Harry and Ron. It’s like sometimes they wake up in the morning and go ‘oh no we’re still allowing this girl to follow us around. We have to stop this!’ And without warning I do something that sets them off and it’s days or weeks that they won’t speak to me. I suppose since we’re talking about it I can tell you,” Hermione was impressed that she was able to keep calm even though having to explain to a man she wanted to like her desperately how alone she actually is in the school was mortifying. 

“Christmas morning Harry received a firebolt broom. You know his Nimbus got destroyed during the match,” Lupin nodded his head encouraging her, “there was no tag. Harry and Ron were convinced it was sent by a friend who just didn’t think to include a tag or it had fallen off somewhere in the shuffle. I wasn’t as convinced. Sirius Black is still out there and he has ways into the castle! I called Professor McGonagall and she took the broom to be analyzed for dark magic. They haven’t really spoken to me since.” 

Hermione took a breath in and looked into green eyes. 

“First, thank you for finally telling me. Second, you did the right thing. They will see that at some point.” His gentleness made her relax as she leaned her head into his chest. He slowly lowered them down so he was laying on his back and Hermione on her side curled up against him. 

“Is this how it will be then? I open up to you and tell you everything that goes on and you pick and choose which bits of information you tell me about yourself? I guess directing me on which books not to read is fair play.” Hermione was trying to lighten the mood, but the lingering pain made her tone quiet and flat. She took her injured leg and placed it on top on his legs and allowed them to rest in the middle. She had seen her mum and dad lay like that countless times. There was comfort there. 

“No, of course not. I just don’t want to burden you with my struggles and…” he stopped when he heard her deep inhale of breath which usually meant she gearing up for a fight, “you’re right. I should tell you more.” 

Hermione let her breath out and used one of her fingers to draw circles on his chest softly. 

“Hermione, the truth is… the truth is I know what Sirius Black is capable of.” Professor Lupin held his breath. The witch quickly bolted her head and shoulders up to look into his face. “Sirius and I went to school together. More than that he was one of my best friends.” 

The sadness crept into his voice as he explained how Sirius was the secret keeper for Lily and James’s house. She gently told him she knew the back story of their deaths and he didn’t need to relive that for her. She could see the gratitude in his eyes. When he told her that after all their time together what ultimately led to him not being picked as a secret keeper was because he was a werewolf she held him tighter. He had been going on missions for their side and Sirius and James were starting to believe that he wasn’t as committed to the Light as he said he was. He never told anyone, but one night he heard Sirius railing about kicking him out of the inner circle as he was too much a wolf now and couldn’t be trusted. He heard as Lily screamed at him up and down that if that’s how he felt then she should leave too because this side wasn’t worth fighting for. However, in the end Lily had to make a choice and with a husband and a new baby it was easy. Remus began getting pushed out. Walking into rooms and having people stop talking. People going on missions and when he would ask about them the subject would get changed. He could take all that though. It was for a greater good. It was everything else. One day, 6 months before Lily and James were murdered, Remus overheard Sirius retelling the Prewett brothers how crazy the party got after Lily put the baby to sleep. Remus knew he was being left out of social situations he just didn’t know how badly they would hurt. Lily had found him in the backyard crying. She apologized up and down and said she wanted it to be different, but she didn’t know how. She had Harry with her who had a natural love for the werewolf, probably because he was always warm, and would settle whenever he held him. That was the last time Remus Lupin saw Lily and Harry. He never said bye to James. It wasn’t until Dumbledore recalled him that he found out the truth of everything. At that point what was left, but to blame himself?

“It wasn’t your fault.” Hermione didn’t look at him. She didn’t want her own sadness at his treatment to overshadow the moment. 

“I wish I could believe that, Pet.” They laid there in companionable silence for what felt like hours relishing their new closeness. He had asked her to keep his secret and she made a quip that it would get added to the list. 

Hermione had just started to think that this must be a relationship and how romantic it was to confide in each other like this when her stomach let out the biggest growl. Her horror was quickly snuffed out by her teachers full belly laughter. Much to her protested whine he disentangle himself and got up. Scribbling on spare parchment he placed it in a box on the wall and stood by his desk conjuring a table by the bed. Within moments food appeared on the table as well as tea and water. 

“I have to say I noticed that you don’t eat very much.” Professor Lupin fixed her a cup of tea while setting a plate in front of her. 

“I get stressed and it tends to make me hyper focus. A lot of things fall to the wayside because of that.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal. 

“I understand that, but,” Hermione already rolled her eyes causing the man to chuckle, “I want you to try and eat. Sustaining your strength is a big part of dueling.” 

As they sat and made their way through the food, Hermione happy with the fruit and cheese platter and Lupin with an essentially raw steak that he believed Hermione turned green at, they allowed themselves to move into easier conversation. 

Hermione told him how her Mum was amazing and always knew the answers, but made Hermione come to her with the questions. It’s not that she didn’t want to ask her mom certain things it just seemed to be one of those situations where sometimes you don’t know until you know. 

“I have to say, and please don’t kill me for this, I was a bit surprised how caught off guard you were in my class before break. You’re a bit old for such first time things to be happening…” the man who once told her he was fine with blood trailed off awkwardly. 

“You started your sentence intending to ask me about my first period and then realized what you were doing halfway through, right?” He didn’t even have time to answer before the girl laughed hard at him. “It’s fine. But yes. Last year with being petrified and everything Madam Pomfrey said my body would slow down or never start up again. Basically it’s why I’m short. Why I had to workout all summer to get my muscle mass back to a normal non-atrophied place. The late period was just something that came along with it. But it’s more than that. My mom would talk to me about sex, she talked to me about boys when I asked second year, but actually sit down and give the talk - no way. Parvati Patil basically had to give me a run down of the feelings I have being what I now know is referred to getting ‘turned on.’” Hermione took a sip of her tea. 

“Wait, you went to Parvati about…” Lupin’s eyes were wide. 

“Oh she has no idea. She keeps trying to get me to tell her I have a crush on Draco because I think I can change him. Or, even worse, one on Ron just to get back at Lavender for all the years of bullying. That would be worth it if he wasn’t so repulsive. Have you ever seen him eat?” Lupin hmm’ed at that and continued to stare at the witch in front of him taking her in until she wiggled in her seat. 

“Tell me what you did before this, Professor.” Hermione popped another grape in her mouth. 

“I think we’ve moved on from sad stories for the evening.” His smile only went up on one side of his mouth and he brought the tea cup up for a drink for something to do. 

“How sad can it be. Come on, I want to actually know you. You must have been doing something.” Hermione was looking at her teacher with wide eyes and a sweet smile. She really did believe that good people would be treated well. 

“Well, as you know I am a werewolf.” Trying to keep the tension light Hermione faked a gasp. It made Lupin laugh so it was worth it. “Stop. Anyway, after the war, truthfully, I’m not particularly proud of myself or what happened, what I allowed to happen to me.” 

Professor Lupin was choosing his words carefully. He didn’t want to come across as pathetic to the young girl, but he also didn’t want her growing incensed at the actions of others and doing something they would both regret. 

“After the war I felt like I lost everything. My mum, a muggle, had died. I didn’t want to trouble my dad after all this time. Me being away at Hogwarts and then living with James and then always gone on missions he was finally able to have a real life. So I got a cottage that no one else wanted. And I drifted. I bounced around from here to there; different jobs.” He was being purposefully elusive, but that wouldn’t stop Hermione. 

“But surely you must have been putting your mind to work. Your skills?” Hermione leaned forward captured by the mans story. 

“Pet, you are so sweet. Much nicer to me than I deserve. Perhaps I should attempt to think of myself as you do? Sadly, no. I took jobs that would keep me in positions with very little interactions with others and didn’t require a lot of attention. I would have to switch employment often, very often, as I didn’t want them catching on to the days I missed or went home before the sun set. They weren’t exactly the stimulating environment we have here.” Lupin smiled at her to assure her that he was truly finding happiness. 

“But I still don’t understand. I know you have your bad times here, but…” Hermione tried to understand what would keep such a wonderful man from achieving all she knew he could. 

“Days are better here. Nights are as well. Even nights when overly demanding witches are bursting into my chambers. But here at Hogwarts I have unlimited access to the wolfsbane potion. That wasn’t the case in the outside world. I made a trade off. Keep working to not totally isolate myself, but take jobs that kept me in a constant state of, shall we say, monetary concern. Wolfsbane potion is incredibly expensive. Not just for the ingredients, but as punishment. Hermione, I lived a very lonely life. Dumbledore he really - well I don’t think anyone will ever know what he did for me allowing me to teach here. To be here and finally use my mind again. To not have to live with the pain every day from transforming. To have a late night meal with the most intelligent thoughtful witch I’ve ever met…” Professor Lupin was emotional. Not crying, but she could tell that it had been ages since he had let anyone see him like this. To be the one who brought him some of the happiness meant everything to Hermione. 

“I’m done eating now, Professor.” Hermione unzipped her jacket for the first time that night before uttering those words. She knew if she said them before he wouldn’t allow her the freedom and she wanted to be close to him. 

She could tell he was assessing her body in the black tank top and small workout shorts. While this hadn’t been the goal she was always willing to make room for happy accidents. He stood and vanished the table and its contents while leaving the water jug on a smaller table next to the bed. 

“Do you know what you look like right now?” He walked towards her. His voice was low and husky. Hermione bit her lip and shook her head wanting him to continue talking to her in that voice. 

“You look like a young lioness on the hunt. Hermione, you have to let me be in control.” He stood in front of her. As she sat back up he gripped her chin so she would see the seriousness in his eyes. “This close to the full moon. Hermione…” 

“I know. Please come down here.” She ran both her hands up his chest as far as she could. 

Lupin sat down on the bed before allowing his witch to push him down. She could feel how tense he was, but also knew she wanted to get as much out of this as she could. On her side lying down next to him again she went in for a kiss. He quickly took control moving his hand to grip her hip. Whether he was pulling her towards him or pushing her back she couldn’t tell because the movement his tongue was making in her mouth had made her lose her train of thought. Hermione threw her leg over his again she could feel the tease of friction that allowed her to have. She could also tell that the movement allowed Lupin to feel the heat building in her core through his pants as well as smell her need for him. She quickly moved to straddle him as she loved the flexibility it gave her body before he would stop her. Hermione leaned down with her chest flat against his as they continued their kiss. At the new angle she could feel more pressure on her clit from his trousers. She wasn’t sure what the hardness was underneath, a belt maybe, but she wasn’t going to ask him. She knew if she did he would stop. She did the smallest roll of her hip trying to rub her clit as best she could. Something must have worked for both of them because they moaned at the same time enjoyed the feeling of her seeking pleasure on him. She had to fight with herself to not do it again or to grab his hand and put it down there as she would her own. 

She moved her lips away from his mouth and quickly reattached them to his neck where she kissed at the stubble. Down his left side until she reached his Adam apple and gave it a soft slow lick and continued her way up the right side. She was gifted with a throaty ‘Hermione’ from him for her efforts. She found his lips again and went back to kissing him with all the passion she had in her body. Slowly, as not to scare him, she worked her hands up and down his chest. She used one hand to reach for the top button of his Oxford. 

“Darling,” he was warning her, “I don’t think your hands go there.” 

“Please? Just a couple. I just want to see.” Hermione used him speaking as an excuse to kiss down his neck. This time repeating her sucks and licks in just a bit of a harder way. 

From the way Lupin had to close his eyes and could only nod his head she knew he was restraining himself. She went back to kissing him and unbuttoned the top button. She swirled her finger around in a small circle loving the feeling of his warm skin and soft chest hair. She allow the kiss to deepen as she moved on to buttons two and three. Again, using just her fingers she would make small patterns while she used her second hand, free for a moment, to place Lupin’s hand on her hip holding her down against him. The fourth button proved to be the one that would allow her to stick her whole hand in his shirt. Lupin had both hands gripping, tightly, on her hips while they both fought each other for air with their mouths. Hermione moved her hand inside his shirt and feeling how warm and soft his skin was against the palm of her hand she clung to it letting her nails bite into his flesh ever so gently. 

That’s when his hand shot up and stopped hers. He broke from their kiss pushing his head back into the pillows breathing deeply. Knowing he needed the space Hermione lifted her upper body off of his. However this caused her hips to roll in that special way Hermione still couldn’t describe. She closed her eyes while tilting her back and took a deep breath in and out as she rolled again on him. When she did it for the third time she looked down at him only to find him looking up at her. 

Professor Lupin’s skin was flushed. Like he had just ran 10 miles in the cold. His mouth was slightly open and his breathes were coming in drags. His hair had been mussed from where she had been running her hands through it and she could already see red spots developing along his neck. But it was his eyes that stopped her breathing. His normally earthy green eyes were blown wide and almost totally black. Only a green ring remained. Hermione reached her small fingers out and ran them up his exposed chest to swipe over the red marks and linger on his neck. She rolled her hips again. 

“Hermione, we have to stop.” Professor Lupin’s voice came out cracked and forced. Like he hadn’t had a drink in a decade. 

“Please, it’s this. It feels so good, Professor. I…” Hermione didn’t care that every time they were together she ended up begging. She wanted him to know that there was something about this movement that made her body ignite. She rolled her hips again on the hardest of his lap and allowed herself to wantonly moan. And again. And again. The same feeling of being in her bed and having something inside of her build up was taking place. Except now she felt like she could reach whatever it was she was aiming for. She put both of her hands on the sides of her teachers stomach to anchor herself. Once she felt steady she pulled one hand to her stomach and it found its way pushing up her top to touch the soft skin of belly. Her next hip roll was harder and made her throw her head back and moan right before her breath caught in her throat. 

“Oh god. It’s..” Hermione wasn’t making any sense. How could she get to where she was going faster if she didn’t know where she was going. “Please, sir. I need you to show me.” 

She was looking into his eyes begging. Pleading for him to tell her what to do. 

“Not tonight my love.” He gripped her hips and steadied her before gently, but firmly pushing her back to her side next to him. “Please don’t look at me like that, Pet.” 

Hermione wasn’t angry. She wasn’t embarrassed. She wasn’t sad. So why was she crying? As soon as she realized it she tried to bury her face in her hands, but the older man pried them away. 

“Hey, none of that. What’s wrong?” He smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead. 

“I don’t know! I don’t know why I’m crying. I just feel so… so… I don’t know!” Hermione tried to bury her face again, but this time in his chest. He used a finger to lift her face up to look at his. “Something must be wrong with me.” 

“Nothing is wrong with you. I swear. You’re frustrated. It’s a toss up if it was actually the right thing to do for me to stop you or let you finish.” He continued to stroke her jawline as he chuckled at her misery. 

“Finish?” Her eyebrows were furrowed and he knew she was really listening to every word he said. 

“Pet, you don’t know what an orgasm is?” She wanted to lie and say she did. The way he asked her told her that he had his own feelings about how little she knew about her body. 

“Sorry.” Hermione tried to look away, but he stayed firm in holding her face. He dropped a simple kiss on her lips. 

“It’s okay, love. It’s when you’re feeling all of that pleasure right there in your center. When you’re touching yourself or doing this move you seem so fond of on me and your body tells you that if you keep going you’re going to reach a peak. And then your world just explodes a little bit. You feel nothing but pleasure and happiness. It’s all over your body. Your muscles get all tensed, but you feel a giant release at the same time. It’s incredible. It’s what your body is after when you start to get wet and you feel that heat and pressure.” Lupin had dropped a couple of kisses on her face while explaining that thing Hermione was chasing. 

“So, my body just wants orgasms all the time?” Hermione asked innocently. 

“What do you mean?” He smiled at her. 

“Every time I’m around you I feel like that.” She said sweetly. Hermione already knew from their day in the restricted section that he would respond to that talk. And while he did pull her body tighter against his he was a man true to his words that they were done for the night. 

“You, my precocious student, are at an age where you don’t need anything but a decent thought to feel that way. Hormones will make you act in crazy ways.” He laughed at her, but in a way that it would be obvious she was in on the joke. 

“So you think I should feel that way about other boys around here?” When he nodded his head in the affirmative Hermione couldn’t help the smart answer, “Well if you see any please point them out so we can conduct your hypothesis in full.” 

This time she kissed him. When she pulled back she put her hands on his lower stomach down by the button of his trousers. 

“Hermione, I told you we were done.” The look in his eyes was firm and she knew not to push it. 

“Sorry, Sir. I’m not trying to start anything I was just trying to see if you had a belt.” She smiled at him, but removed her hand just the same. 

“No belt…” Hermione couldn’t help but match his confusion, “why?” 

“When I was… on top of…it felt really nice when I was…” Hermione had reached her quota of the day on sex talk. 

“Pet, that wasn’t a belt. It was my cock.” Hearing him say such a sexually charged word in that deep of a voice directly in her ear had Hermione ready to straddle him again. The way he took a breath in told her he knew about her fresh wave of lust. “I told you that you aren’t the only one who gets effected. God, you smell so fucking good.” 

Looking into the other’s eyes they decided that now was the time for Hermione to go to sleep. As her leg wasn’t terribly painful Hermione made her way back to the Gryfinndor dorm. She really thought Harry and Ron, but at least Harry, would be waiting up for her in common room. It was empty. 

______ 

The next morning Hermione awoke refreshed having slept 8 hours. She got up, dressed, did the best she thought she could in front of the mirror and headed to the Great Hall. She was planning on spending the day in the library hopeful that a certain teacher would join her. 

She was just getting her third reference text, humming a song to herself, when she felt a body very close to her. 

“Miss. Granger surely you aren’t reading for class already?” An amused authoritative voice called out from the only entrance and exit of the stacks. 

“Professor! What auspicious timing you have. In fact I finished the first book you have assigned. I was just going to read a reference text, but it seems to be on too high a shelf. Could you help, please?” Hermione knew no one but him could see the grin on her face. 

Professor Lupin walked, no strode, down the aisle to assist a much devoted student. He made a comment about the validity of the multiple text on the shelves before grabbing the one she wanted. 

“Listen, I wanted to find you to let you know that I’ll need a few days, starting today, to myself. What with the…” he waved his hand towards the sky. The werewolf who wouldn’t say what he was whispered to her just in case anyone was around. 

“I know you said the books were trash, but I read somewhere that when a werewolf really trust someone they allow them to be near them when they’ve transformed.” Hermione was whispering so quietly she could barely hear herself, but she knew he could hear her. 

“I suppose that might be true. I don’t know anyone who ever tested it with anyone who wasn’t already a wolf themselves.” He was taking glances at her from the side. 

“I just thought that one month I could-“

“No. Absolutely not.” His tone was so hard and cold Hermione took an actual step back. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you seeing me like that and I’m not willing to gamble with your safety.” 

“I know you don’t like to admit it, but it’s who you are. I want those parts too. Do you think you’ll ever be able to let me in in that way?” She had turned her body back to face the books. She was flipping through one before throwing it in her basket. She picked another up and showed it to him. He nodded his head so she started flipping through that one. 

“Hermione, I can’t describe how I admire your heart. How kind you are and trusting. But, darling, there is more than one way to corrupt your purity. I won’t have it.” With that he reached over top of her to get a book and drop a kiss on her forehead. Handing her the book he walked out of the stacks loudly claiming that while it was formidable, her desire for knowledge, he was also on break, but would be happy to answer any and all questions during office hours starting January 3rd.  

______

Lupin was only ever true to his word. After that morning in the library he disappeared. Hermione watched that night as the full moon made its first appearance. She knew she would be feeling a majority of the effects, but tomorrow night would be worse. She didn’t know where he was, but she hoped he was safe. 

The winter weather decided to take a rare break and the sun came out during the day allowing for chilly, but pleasant conditions. Harry and Ron were still not speaking to Hermione. She didn’t understand how it was they didn’t understand she was only trying to do the right thing; the smart thing. Sirius has already gotten into the caste once. Even Dumbledore couldn’t figure out how he got in. Harry’s head strong behavior was going to get him hurt. 

She knew her werewolf professor would be gone for at least 3 more days if not until the start of term recovering from his transformation. As such, the witch decided it was as good as time as any to get back into the exercises she had been performing all summer. On her first lap around the Black Lake she could feel her muscles burning from lack of use, but she could also feel her stress begin to melt away. For a brief moment she wasn’t concerned about why Harry and Ron didn’t believe in her. Why she didn’t have it in her to be more like the other girls. Why Lupin never seemed as happy with her as he did with the boys. 

She turned over their time together and realized that after their talk about his past it would seem that she was the one who wasn’t as open with him. If the opportunity presented itself she would tell him more about her life outside of Hogwarts. 

In her days of running and outdoor activity Hermione Granger also resolved to do one thing she never thought she would. She decided that she would stop reading any books the library had to offer on lycanthropy and werewolves. The ambitious girl couldn’t remember the last time she had stopped an educational pursuit just because someone had asked her. Weighing the pros and cons she thought that if she wanted to prove to him that she was an equal that valued his opinion she had to start with really listening to him. The books bothered him. More than that they angered him in a way that Hermione wasn’t sure if it stemmed from the utter bullshit in them or the fact that he hasn’t come to terms with his condition. Either way she would tell him that she wouldn’t pursue that anymore. A caveat of course being that she would ask him to answer any questions she may have. He would enjoy her cheekiness. 

_____

Four days. Hermione spent four days completely alone. She didn’t talk to another person. She wasn’t even sure if she talked out loud at all. She would pass Harry and Ron and they acted as if they didn’t see her. By lunch on the second day she had stopped trying to take her meals with or close by them. She sat alone at the end of the table using magic to hover a book in front of her while she pushed around her food or nibbled on toast. 

She thought that the other Weasleys would come around, but that hadn’t happened. Ginny would glare at her when she walked in the Hall or common room. Fred and George were too busy cooking up ideas of their own to really consider how she was feeling. On the third day though Fred walked behind her at dinner and twirled a curl around his finger. He gave her a small smile as he sat down next to every one else. She knew he meant it to be friendly, but it just drove home how alone she was. 

Tonight was New Year’s Eve. Due to so few students having stayed behind Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore decided that dinner would be taken at a later time and followed by a party in astronomy tower. It was a wonderful gesture. 

Hermione had almost decided to stay in as there wasn’t anyone for her to socialize with at said party, but had changed her mind when Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott stopped her in the hall to ask what time she would be going. Surprised that someone was actually speaking to her Hermione mumbled out a time and asked if all the Hufflepuffs were going. 

As she bid farewell to the other third years Hermione raced back to her dorm to write to Lavender and Parvati and let them know she had nothing to wear and if jeans and a jumper were okay for a New Year’s Eve party. The only response she got was an ‘oh dear god’ from Lavender. Hermione had almost made up her mind to not go when at 7 o’clock a hurried tap was heard outside of her window. An owl with a rolled up package was hovering clearly exhausted. Hermione let the poor creature in and summoned treats and water for it. She took the package and opened the note on the outside first. 

Hermione! 

I’m thrilled you’re actually going to a party. Padma said a couple of the older boys from Ravenclaw had stayed behind and that they were cute. Wear this dress. I included a camera so you could take a picture so we can see what you look like. I also wrote out some hair and makeup charms. 

Write to us tonight and tell us everything! Can’t believe I’m missing the first real Hogwarts party. 

Parvati 

Hermione decided that looking at the dress would only scare her. She could see it was black and that was safe start. Reading the charms Pav had included she knew she would need to start with clean skin and wet hair. As dinner didn’t start until 8:30 she had a hour and a half to take a shower and fully prep herself. She washed her hair thoroughly and let her conditioner sit for more time so the smell would really sink in. She scrubbed her body raw with her soap and shaved so meticulously she laughed at her joking thought of leaving the wizarding world and becoming a surgeon with her steady hands. 

Back in the room Hermione dropped her towel to the floor and stared at her naked body in the mirror. From what she understood now that her mensural cycle had started her body would develop its shape faster. She knew she would need new bras by summer as her breast were beginning to get just a tad too big for her currents one. The way the top swell lifted up under her shirts made her reach for jumpers and vest more often. Her waist line stayed defined, but her hips were starting to flair out and look less like the little boy she often compared herself to. 

She sat down at the vanity and got to work on the charms Pavarti had provided. Her hair was easy as Pav knew she wouldn’t do any type of crazy updos or wild hair changes anyway. When all the twist of her wand were done she was left with very simple, but extremely beautiful hair. While her hair had always been considered a curly mess this spelled had transformed the tresses into long smooth ringlets. Her hair had never felt softer as it fell down her naked back. Smoothing out the tighter curls had allowed it grow by a few inches and now the front section delicately covered her breast. When she tipped her head back she could feel the ends brush against her lower back. All the colorful dimensions of her honey and chestnut hair were visible. 

The make up was a fucking mess. Hermione tried two different charms her more able friend had included. One made her look like her grandmother at Sunday lunch and the other made her look like a woman she saw last year outside of Knockturn Alley asking men if they wanted to have a good time. The last charm would either have to do it or she would go without anything except the muggle makeup she had already applied - just a few swipes of mascara and clear lip gloss. Hermione performed the charm and looked back in the mirror. For a second she wasn’t sure anything had happened. Upon closer inspection she could see that her eyelashes had grown just a fraction and were darker making her eyes appear wider. Her lips now had a permanent gloss on them and were just that much poutier. It was perfect. 

The witch nearly jumped out of her chair when she saw that it was already 8:30. She wasn’t surprised that no one had alerted her to the fact that they were all leaving for dinner, but she wanted to hurry up and get down there anyway. She pulled on her undergarments realizing that she could transfigure them to be what she needed when she put the dress on. Finally, she picked it up and locating the back slipped it on. She was hopeful that the ease in which she put it on was a sign of its simpleness. She was wrong. 

Swishing her wand to change her bra into a strapless Hermione took in her reflection. The black dress had thin straps that sat wide on her shoulders exposing as much décolleté as possible. The fabric, that felt like silk, triangled at the top and came together at her sternum. The slight swells of her breast looked classy, but attractive. Thankfully the dress did come down to her mid-thigh. Granted the silk material of the dress made it easy to move. 

Hermione couldn’t help but look at herself and think for the first time that she looked nice. She knew she wasn’t a pretty girl, but this look made her feel like she at least fit in with everyone else. 

She didn’t have proper shoes, but thought white converses would be perfectly fine. She slipped them on and walked out down the stairs to the common room. She didn’t expect to find anyone there, but Fred and George were looking through books and writing. Suspicious. Immediately suspicious. 

“Holy fuck Hermione.” Fred has been the first one to spot her. His wording, while awful, made her blush a deep pink. 

“I think what my articulate brother means to say is damn Hermione.” George looked her up and down before pretending to swoon at her feet. 

“Thank you guys really. Okay, George stop it!” Hermione was giggling, “what are you still doing up here?” 

“Ah got caught up in a recipe for a potion” Fred answered first. “However I’m starting to think the stars aligned so that we would be the lucky pair to see you first.” 

The three of them decided to walk down together and the boys spewed half hearted insults at any of the other men who looked at her when she entered the Great Hall. Hermione made her way to the usual seat at the end of the table when Fred grabbed her elbow and led her down to sit with everyone. Judging by the looks on everyones faces she didn’t know if the boys looked like they would hex someone into next year if they said anything mean to her or if the tables occupants were just surprised by her looks. 

They got through dinner with little fanfare. Sure, Harry and Ron couldn’t help the snipping and the fews time Hermione did try to comment on the conversation Ginny would make a show of rolling her eyes and sighing heavily. Before dinner was over Ginny toasted to Fred and George that in the New Year they stay so open minded and charitable to all people. For the greater good, the third year witch allowed it. 

After the last of the dinner guest had their desserts plates cleared the students were instructed to make their way up to the astronomy tower to enjoy the party. Hermione walked up alone as the group had sped off and she thought it would be too desperate a move to try and keep up with athletes. And Percy who ran to get their first and stop any disruptive behavior. As she passed the Defense Against the Dark Arts hall she stopped to tie her shoe. She knew it was impossible, but maybe she could see a sign of him. Or he would smell her and come to her…

After an appropriate amount of time she stood up and continued the journey. The tower had charms cast on it that made it a comfortable temperature. The candle light was kept low so the stars above in the clear sky would be the focal points. All around there were various drinks and games for the students to indulge in while an intense Filtch stood by a table that was marked for teachers only. Probably Dumbledore allowing his staff in imbibe a bit. 

As students and teachers filtered in taking in the scene Hermione found herself standing against a wall in a darken corner. She watched as her boys and the Weasley’s joked around and shared drinks with each other. Students third year and above were given butter beers and Harry did his best to slip some to Ginny when he thought no one was watching. Taking a deep breath she made her way over to a table that no one else was currently occupying and poured a warm butter beer for herself. 

Ernie and Hannah found her like that within 15 minutes. They talked about different things and Hermione found herself letting out a real laugh enjoying Ernie’s joke about the difference between a Ravenclaw and a bludger. The Hufflepuffs were always easy to get along with as they allowed real kindness to rule them. 

She didn’t realize that she spent almost 45 minutes talking to the pair until Hannah grabbed Ernie’s hand and said they should probably head back with a suggestive wink. 

“Oh you guys aren’t staying for midnight? Last year they let off fireworks.” Hermione took the last sip of her drink. 

“We would love to see that, but everyone from our house is here and that means the common room is quiet and empty.” Ernie smiled at Hermione is a way that told her she should understand what he meant. Had this been three months she might have picked up on it as quickly. 

“Right, right. You should always take advantage of the quiet. Better to focus right?” Hermione giggled at Hannah who returned it. Another girl she bonded with! 

The couple bid her goodnight and Hermione smiled to herself while getting another drink. After a quick scan of the room she told herself she would finish this drink and head back to her room. She looked up at the sky and tried to name each constellation she could. 

“Miss. Granger I didn’t take you for standing by the drink table all night.” A gentle voice said above her head. 

She turned around without taking her eyes off the the sky. 

“That’s Canis Major and Canis Minor. People can never locate Minor because they always assume it would be closer to Major. They don’t really have anything in common.” Hermione was pointing to the sky. 

She lowered her eyes just a few inches to look at the man who towered over her. He was a foot taller than her and something about his height and broad shoulders made her feel safe. Seeing him after four days had her nervous. The same nerves from the first day on the train had taken up residency in her stomach. She wanted to reach out to touch him. To feel his arms around her and run her hands through his hair. She settled for smiling at him. 

“Hello, Professor Lupin.” Hermione said softly. 

“Hermione. I’m sorry to see you not with your friends.” He did look put out by her lonesomeness. She thought she almost saw a bit of upset in not being able to do anything about that. 

“Professor Lupin!” Harry bellowed across the room. 

“Your fan club, Sir.” Hermione jerked her head towards her supposed friends. 

“They can wait. I’d much rather talk to you about what you’ve been doing the last four almost five days. Surely you’ve finished another book or broken some old ancient theory.” He poured a   butter beer and handed it to her taking her other drink from her hand. He poured another for himself. 

“Nope. In fact I’ve been outside most of the time.” Hermione took a sip of her new drink enjoying the warmth it provided. She wasn’t sure if he knew this was her third having had one at dinner. 

“Outside? Taking tips from a well gifted book?” The darken room was giving him confidence to grin at her. 

“It was a well gifted book. Unfortunately, with so many tips one must start somewhere. I believe I told you I would be starting at activity 400?” She peaked up at him from where she was watching her finger ring around her glass. He didn’t say anything, but she knew that blown look in his eye. “You see I would need a partner for the majority of those tasks, but as luck would have it 400-425 are all pleasurable activities for the solo girl.” 

She was lying. Out right, bold face, unashamed, lying. Given the low growl that came from his chest either he didn’t know or he didn’t care because of the picture she had painted for him. 

“Miss Granger. I’m so happy to hear that you’re finding other, ahem, hobbies. Seeing as how you might need a guide in a few of those pursuits if you should ever-“ 

“Professor Lupin!!!” Ron yelled.

“Mr. Weasley! Is it impossible for you to conduct yourself in a civilized manner or do you just find yourself out of control at all times?” Professor McGonagall, who was standing in between the boys and Professor Lupin snapped at him. “I swear back in my day the house of Godric Gryfinndor would never have students who behaved in such ill mannered…” 

Professor McGonagall walked off shaking her head. At least her disappointment in Ron was ever constant. Professor Lupin was laughing heartily at Ron’s display. 

“I should really let you go Professor. Ring in the new year with your student friends.” Hermione couldn’t help the jealousy at knowing that even when he was standing with her part of him wanted to be over with that group. 

“Come over with me Hermione.” He whispered down at her. 

“I don’t want to ruin their night. It’s okay, you go. It was good talking to you, Professor.” Hermione quickly grabbed his forearm before turning back to pour another butter beer. One she probably didn’t need. 

“Hermione, you look-“ his voice was really low now so much so that Hermione was straining to hear the first compliment he would pay her looks. She felt vapid at how much she craved to hear him say it. If only he wasn’t interrupted. 

“Professor Lupin! Come on, you’re on my team.” Harry again. Hermione tried to neutralize her face before looking at them, but she knew her mouth was set in a frown. She took her drink and walked away without another look at her teacher. 

As he made his way over to the group who cheered his arrival she watch them begin a game of exploding snap. She found herself edging closer to the dark corner of tower. She expect to hit cold stone wall, but instead found her body pressed up against something hard, but soft and warm. Whatever it was it took a breath in and moved. Hermione was about to scream when a hand shot out and covered her mouth. 

“Honestly, Miss Granger. I had assumed that your attitude of acting like you are the sole person in the room was some sort of emotional crisis you felt in a classroom. I didn’t realize you habitually felt like the yours was the only presence whose mattered.” A low steady voice ground out in her ear. 

Hermione relaxed as she realized that it was only Professor Snape. It still shocked her sometimes how she went from being terrified of him in first year, convinced he was evil, to essentially rolling her eyes every time he tried his menacing tactics. She didn’t move as he lowered his hand from her mouth. She had relaxed into his person and could feel his shallow breath moving his chest up and down. There was something comforting about feeling someones warmth and the gentle cadence of their breath. It reminded Hermione of the nights she would read with her Dad. The simple love that she could feel sinking in from him while they turned the pages on their different books. 

Of course, love is not a word that would ever in any alternative world be applied to Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. She could feel the awkwardness of her body against his grow in the small space of the corner. She should move. Chalking this up to her incredible loneliness Hermione took a small step forward. She could feel his desperate attempt to escape, but four butter beers in and she found herself talkative. 

“Question, Professor.” Hermione rounded on him. 

“What, Miss Granger.” He looked annoyed, but it was quickly replaced with surprise at Hermione’s eye roll. 

“It’s just that there’s something I don’t understand.” Hermione tipped her glass all the way towards the ceiling and slurped the rest of the liquid. 

“Beyond this shocking display I have to admit that I never thought I would hear you say those words, Miss Granger.” Snape’s drawl circled around her. 

“Same. My question is this: we spend five years learning potions from you and trust me when I say this isn’t me trying to compliment you,” Hermione could have sworn that Snape’s lips smirked up,  “five years is a long time to not only learn theory, but to gain practical experience. So why is that so many adult wizards and witches are just bloody awful at making potions at home.” 

“Hm, well, Miss Granger you finally ask a worthy question. I could tell you, but you’re asking for more of a philosophy based answer.” He tilted his head to the side in a way that Hermione knew he was actually engaged in the conversation. 

“Please, tell me.” 

“It is my belief that most in our world don’t truly understand how incredible the art of making potions can be. Any muggle can throw ingredients in a pot and turn on a stove to heat it up. Sure, there are plenty of potions that call for special items, but many are just foraged from the forest. The Forbidden Forest itself is home to some of the most bountiful herbs and plants in the world. I digress. Potions is about being in the moment. Having complete focus. Being able to not only follow instructions, but knowing your theory and ingredients well enough to know when to cut and when to add in that one counter clockwise stir.” Professor Snape had never looked so passionate. 

“You know your last sentence cancels out most of your theory. Most people don’t posses such intuitive know how.” Hermione smiled at him as she moved to lean against the wall next to him. 

“Perhaps,” Professor Snape kind of laughed. A true feat, “but the point stands. Many potions could and should be made at home. Easy and cost effective. Of course there will always be those potions that will require a true mastery.”

“Like the Wolfsbane potion.” Hermione asked her shoes. 

“Yes, Miss Granger. Like the Wolfsbane potion. Of course many people could try it, but unfortunately when those are in need, real need, they don’t always find themselves in the best mental state to create such potions.” Professor Snape was on to her. Besides Professor Lupin, Snape was the only other man Hermione found could keep up with her. “Of course it doesn’t help that while they should have been learning the fundamentals they were creating chaos.” 

Hermione bit her lip to cover her smile. 

“Continuing my habit of being bold, Professor, I’m going to ask if you would be willing to tutor a student who, while annoys you, you could maybe still find it in you to nurture a care for your subject?” Hermione asked him worrying her lip and trying to make eye contact. 

Snape gave her a quizzical look like he was studying her for the punch line. Finding none he continued. 

“I do believe that when students prove themselves to be less than idiotic they should be pushed. I’ll tell you what Miss Granger. I will give you material, not found in the library, on the potion. You turn in a four foot essay on what you have learned by June and I will consider finding a way to tutor you over the summer and next year.” 

“Thank you, Professor! Thank you so much!” Hermione smiled largely at him and bounced on her toes. 

“Please, Miss Granger, this offer can be rescinded if you don’t find a way to control your emotional outburst.” 

“Of course, Sir. Well, I’ve taken up enough of your night.” Hermione left him in the corner with a smile on her face. She went to the table and poured her fifth butter beer of the night sloshing a bit of it on the table. Hermione was thrilled to be able to actually do something tangible to help Lupin with his monthly pain and exhaustion. 

She looked around trying to locate the man she longed for so badly. He was still playing a game with Harry and the Weasley’s. She took a step towards them, but immediately halted when Ginny shot a death glare at her. She turned around heading for the door, chugging her drink and slamming the glass down, she walked out. 

As she made her way down the stairs, wishing that Hogwarts had TV she could get lost in, she found herself passing the DADA hall again. That would be a silly idea. Waiting in his hall. How long would he even be. It was only 11:20 could she really wait around for him for however long? Apparently the answer was yes. 

And she waited. She sat, she stood, she leaned by the tapestry. Waiting and waiting. Twenty minutes passed and Hermione started to believe she should stick to the original plan of only seeing him when they allow it to naturally happen. Then she heard his voice. Her excitement at him returning to his quarters was drowned out by her fear of being discovered by whomever he was with. Regardless of what lie either of them could come up with there was no reason for a third year girl to be outside a male professor’s quarters or classroom. 

“There’s nothing wrong with a student wanting to expand their horizons Severus.” Lupin was annoyed. 

“Do me the curtesy of not pretending that you don’t know Hermione Granger is aware of your affliction. They don’t call her the Brightest Witch of her Age for nothing Lupin. You are a fool. And Dumbledore even more so for thinking no one would figure it out. This will get out. Do you really think she’s going to keep it from the Weasley and that ingrate Potter?”

“Don’t talk about Harry that way.” Lupin’s words were measured, but she could hear the venom in the words. “And I happen to believe Hermione is extremely trustworthy.” 

“But do you?” Snape was challenging him. Daring him to show his ignorance. 

They were getting closer. Thinking quickly Hermione opened the tapestry and bolted in trying to get as close to his bedroom door as possible. 

“Severus, it is possible, that in the course of not spending every term insulting the girl for her intelligence you could learn something about her. Then again, we all know why you can’t control yourself.” She could practically hear the grin in his voice. 

“Enlighten me Lupin.” 

“She’s incredibly gifted and smart. Immeasurable goodness and kind hearted. Open minded to all. Dedicated. Pure.” Hermione could feel the tears welling in her eyes as Professor Lupin defended her to this man. “… and she’s a muggleborn who is constantly amazed by magic. Why its been over two decades since Hogwarts has seen a such a witch come-“

“Shut the fuck up, Lupin.” Hermione thought she had heard Snape angry before. This was different. This was him ready to fight. 

At the same time Lupin was walking away from him towards the tapestry she was hiding behind. She hoped the darkness surrounding his door would be enough to keep her covered. She saw him pull the heavy fabric back and cast his wand so his door opened. 

“Sorry, Severus, struck a nerve? Didn’t realize after all this time-“

“I’m warning you.” That wasn’t anger. That was pain. Hermione moved herself into her teachers study. In fear that the fight would continue to the door she walked all the way back into his bedroom. It wasn’t until she was practically wedged in his half open closet door that she realized she hadn’t been back here during her two visits. The room was drafty from not having a fire lit for several hours. The air was cold, but it was full with his smell. Woods, and books, and manliness that comes from showers and clean clothes, but with a hint of whiskey and musk. Hermione, under the influence of her five butter beers, stared at the bed that was made, but looked like it could be slipped into at any moment. The idea of being in his bed surrounded by his scent. By him. Hermione ran her hands down her waist to grip the hem of her dress. She bit her lip to silence the moan that her own touch brought forth. She could feel her eyes getting heavy the way they did when she could feel him beneath her. The cold air had stopped bothering her. 

They were at his door now. Hermione, had quietly taken her shoes and socks off, the act of undressing in his bedroom only fueling to her growing wetness. The panties that she had to transfigure into a thong were becoming uncomfortable as her slickness was cooling after leaving her body causing them to stick to her. 

“Severus. I apologize. You know, Lily was-“ Lupin sounded remorseful. It must have been a lower blow than she realized. 

“Please. Please don’t say her name.” There was heavy pause in the air. Hermione knew she should be listening to the men or not listening to the men. Her thoughts were hazed by the wanton need to kiss Remus. 

“I am sorry.” His voice was gentle. The way he always was. How she knew he was sincere. 

“Let’s not bring it up. Anyway, I was reminded tonight that potions is an art. Putting the last 10 minutes aside I’ll just say this - I know you express gratitude at the wolfsbane I have been supplying each month. Moving forward, I will make every effort to not give you subpar potions.” She could hear Snape’s long heavy robes swish and billow. A sure sign he had retreated and the man she was waiting for would be coming in soon. 

“Thank you, Severus.” Remus called out after him, not expecting or receiving any indication that he was heard, he made his way in and closed and warded the door shut. 

Hermione was still in the bedroom standing in the closet doorway. From a mirror on the wall she could see him go to a small table and open the cabinet above it. He pulled out a bottle of fire whiskey. Hermione had seen a few seventh years try to sneak it in. One boy gave some to Lavender one night to try and get her to ‘have fun’ with them. A seventh year girl, Milly Cane, had let Lavender finish the drink and then asked her to help her with her hair real quick. Lavender told them later that she was instructed to never go to a party alone or drink with a group of boys as creepy as those boys. 

But Professor Lupin was not a seventh year boy. He was a gentle and compassionate man. Someone who could see all sides of the problem and had an ability to accept people for who they are and not what he wanted them to be. He let the bottle tink on the glass pouring himself a more than healthy amount. He took the first sip, a long draw, and began walking towards the bedroom. He seemed to be making his way towards the bathroom as he had sat his drink down to disrobe himself of his cardigan, shoes, and belt. Watching him take the belt off did nothing to cool Hermione’s increasingly heated need. 

“How long have you been here?” He paused in his step. 

“Twenty minutes before you came down. But I came in when you opened your door. I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out I was here.” Her voice was raspy. She was trying to control herself, but her throat felt dry and her voice came out as hoarse. 

“The sitting area has smelled like you since the first night you came here. In here though the smell should fade.” He still hadn’t turned to look at her. 

“Which smell, Professor?” Hermione couldn’t believe her hormone addled mind. She should be questioning him about his conversation with Snape not attempting to get the man to touch her all over. 

Professor Lupin finally turned to look at her. She saw his breathing stop for a minute. At this point she knew what she looked like having seen herself in a smaller mirror attached to the closet door. Face flushed. Lips parted. Eyes hooded. Her hands still gripped the hem of her dress and she would have to bite her lip at the feeling of her knuckles dragging up the inside of her thighs. Her nipples had harden and were pressing against her thin strapless bra which provided no coverage. And most importantly, she desperately wanted to take her panties off. 

“Fuck.” He had taken a step towards her. She moved to lean back against the closed closet door and arched her back. The fabric rubbing against her breast along with her fingers ghosting over her thighs made her tilted her head back and inhale deeply. 

“Hermione, I’ve told you before I am only a man.” He stood in front of her now. Just half a step closer and she could pull his tie to force him to put his lips on hers. 

“The only man who makes me feel this way. Please, Professor, I need you to touch me. I can’t take feeling like this all the time.” She tried her best to keep her eyes open and look into his. In the distance she could hear shouting and cheers welcoming in the New Year. 

Those most have been the magic words as he placed both hands on either side of her face and captured her mouth with his. She was greedy. She didn’t fight for control, but she did fight to feel as much of his body as possible. She started by running her hands up his hips dropping the hem of her dress. She dug her fingers into his sides as her palms gently rubbed up his hard stomach. His muscles contracted under his ministrations. Finally reaching his chest she rubbed her hands up and down slightly allowing her nails to mark their territory. Not enough to leave marks through his shirt, but enough that she could tell he felt it given the rumble that escaped his chest. After only a few minutes of feeling his toned torso she linked her arms behind his neck and hoisted herself up to wrap her legs around him. 

Lupin put his hands beneath her thighs to help her achieve the position she wanted as they broke for air. He, for the first time, bent down further in order to kiss along her neck and collarbones. Leaving small little nips ever so often. Hermione rolled her hips into his at the same time that he bit hard on her pulse point. This caused the young witch to push her whole body into the mans, grind her hips, and throw her head back to cry out. 

“Hermione, do you know how badly I wanted to tell you that you look beautiful tonight. This black dress, Pet? I wanted to snatch you from that room so none of those boys could look at you. Please, love, tell me how I make you feel.” He was begging her for affirmation. 

“You make me feel a lot of things, but right now, oh god, when we’re like this,” Hermione was trying to concentrate. She was, “you make my skin tingling and hot. I feel so hazy thinking of your hands touching me. I want to feel you everywhere, oh, everywhere, Professor.” Hermione couldn’t stop the moans and gasps as he kissed the swell of her breast and she could feel herself rubbing her core along, what she knows now, is his harden cock. 

“Please. It’s almost painful. The feeling I get here,” She tried to move one of his hand under her dress, but he still her actions. Right she needs to say it. “The feeling I get in my pussy.” 

His whole body stilled. He pulled back to look directly at her. His eyes were almost black and the flush on his skin had to mirror her own. His hard chest was moving rapidly up and down from drawing in air. 

“Hermione, that is some bold language. Naughty, in fact.” 

“Please, Sir. When I think of you the ache becomes almost unbearable. I need to release it. It’s like this pressure that builds and builds. Why are you the only one I feel this way with?” She stared back at him again attempting to move his hand under her dress. He let her. 

As her hand got to her panty covered pussy first she could feel the heat. She had never felt it like this before. So warm. But she could also feel how damp everything was. Her panties were in fact sticking to her from her own arousal and she could feel some of it gotten on her upper thighs. 

“I need you to believe me. Please, feel.” She didn’t care that she sounded desperate. She just wanted to feel his rough fingers rub over his core. Her whole body was telling her that his hands were meant to do this and could do what her hands couldn’t. 

All of sudden it was like her world was alight. She moved her hand and felt the tip of his fingers softly move over the gusset of her underwear. She thinks she let out a few choice words, but she couldn’t hear anything. 

“Fuck, Pet. I could smell it, but to think that’s what you’re offering me. You think I cause all of that?” He ran his fingers back down pressing a bit harder. He chuckled at the whine that came from her. This touch was so new and yet not enough. 

“Please, more?” Lupin was impressed by her ability to always ask for what she wanted. He knew there would come a time where she would demand from him what she wanted, if he was hopeful enough, to think that time would come would he be able to stop himself? When her small sweet pleases were no longer seeking permission, but outright sex begging. Full on lust induced begging. He didn’t know if he was strong enough for that. 

“No, Pet. Come lie with me.” He gently let her down and noticed that her legs were trembling. He took several deep breaths when his eyes traveled further up her body and he saw both straps of her dress had come down. Her bra, simple and white, was peaking out from the top, but the swells of her perfect tits were almost spilling out from where their movements had pushed the cups down. He was sure if he just ran a finger under the material he could free both of them and show her what he could do to her with just his mouth on the sensitive nubs. 

In his assessment of the sexy witch he didn’t notice that she was pissed. She was glaring at him from her place on the floor. He moved to lay on the bed willing his harden member to not tent too badly until he could regain some control of himself. She made him feel much younger than he had a right to. When he laid down he watched as she put her hands on her hips and stare at him. He only stared back. She cross her arms under her breast causing the bra to become more unreliable. Deep breaths filled the room from both of them, but for different reasons. 

She practically stomped over to the bed. With a giant huff she laid down next to him. Only to quickly throw his arm off her stomach and stand back up. Staring him right in the eyes she smirked and slowly brought her hands to the hem of her dress and moved them up and under to her hips. 

“Hermione…” he was warning her. Did she not believe him that he would lose control? The tiniest bit of white showed at the apex of her thighs where her thong was resting. In one blink Hermione had hinged forward just enough that the dress dropped down again, but with that she pulled the panties down her thighs and let them drop on their own down their calves. 

Stepping out of them she laid back on the bed. She put her head on his chest and began rubbing circles on his upper abs. She threw her leg over his hips. They had been in this position before. 

“Hermione. Please. I’m asking you - you know what you’re doing.” He had his eyes closed and was taking very shallow breaths. 

“You know, I’m happy to hear you admit that you know that I know what I’m doing. Hopefully, it won’t take another four months for you to admit that I am also capable of knowing what I want.” Hermione’s voice was stern. 

“Plus, if you’re calling stop for tonight I can’t lay here in those. They’re way too sticky and cold and uncomfortable.” 

He leaned down to kiss her lips that she offered eagerly. He truly didn’t mean for his body to roll on top of hers and begin a repeat performance of their work against the closet door. But this position, this new position, of him on top of her totally surrounding her was causing her to react. 

Her legs spread open to him and Hermione could feel more fully Professor Lupin’s member as the harden length ran up and down her dripping cunt as they moved their hips in unison. She was panting in his ear when his mouth found her neck. Her hands, that normally played with his hair, were becoming familiar with his back. After one particular jolt of pleasure Hermione took both hands and placed them on her Professor’s ass pulling his hips into her center. She felt that intense pleasure again and tried to chase it, grab it, before he stopped her. 

And he did try. He placed his hands down by her arms and tried to roll off her, but she hooked a foot around his calf to roll with him. They both knew, as a werewolf, if he really wanted to stop her he could have, but she was counting on the fact that he would’t want to hurt her. 

She was straddling his hips like all the times before. She felt in control in this position. 

And she rode him. Rolling and grinding her hips into his feeling how wet her pussy was, but still how her clit was able to find that friction when she angled her body just right. She stopped caring what she looked like and threw her head back as she moved faster. She almost cried when he put his hands on her hips and called her name. She couldn’t stop. She knew the feeling of stopping and she couldn’t have that tonight. 

Maybe it was the butterbeer; she certainly didn’t feel intoxicated. Not the way tv and movies made it seem. Maybe it was not seeing him for four days. But when he put his hands on her hips she grabbed one with all her strength digging his nails into the back of his hand. She knew that surprised him because he didn’t fight her as he hissed out of pain. Without thinking she brought his large hand up and placed the palm right on her breast. She squeezed his hand around her breast as another curse word fell from her mouth. She never broke her hips movement. 

“Hermione, please.” Lupin was whispering to her. 

“Please, Professor. Please, I can’t, fuck, I need, please. Touch me. I think I’m, I feel-“ Hermione couldn’t form a sentence. All of a sudden that tight feeling behind her navel seemed to clench as hard as possible causing her brows to furrow in confusion. 

And just like that Hermione came. A scream started from her throat, but seemed to have died as her mouth fell open and her head leaned all the way back, face towards the ceiling. Her whole world was black or maybe that was just her tightly screwed up eyes. She had never felt anything as good or release from her body in that way. It was like her whole body was cramping, but she was falling at the same time, but she was on fire and it felt good. 

She slowed, but didn’t stop her hip movements and squeezed Lupin’s hand harder around her breast that was dangerously close to being fully exposed. She felt her thigh muscles loosen as the little aftershocks stopped. Her upper body bent forward as all the energy left her. She dropped Lupin’s hand and placed both on his chest to support herself while she slowly opened her eyes. She looked down at the man she had used and quickly looked down at herself. Her dress had bunched at her hips, but still thankfully covered her sex. She tried to discreetly fix her bra so she could be a bit more covered. She looked back to her teacher and felt the flush of her face become a deep crimson red. 

“Come here.” He carefully pulled her body down to his side. He sat up and reached for the fuzzy blanket at the foot of his bed. As he laid back down to pull it on top of them Hermione noticed the dark wet mark on the lap of his pants. 

“Did I do that, Sir?” She pointed at his pants, but refused to look anywhere but down. 

“Yes, Hermione you did. It’s okay, love. It’s natural. Believe me when I say that was the sweetest way to have one’s pants soiled.” He was smiling at her and covering her body with the blanket. 

“Oh god. I’m sorry. Professor Lupin. I don’t know what I just did. You told me to stop and I just. I couldn’t. I’m sorry.” Hermione finally looked up at him and as soon as he smiled at her she started crying. 

“Hey, stop that. You’ve been quite clear all break about what you want. I knew this would happen. I wasn’t telling you to stop because I didn’t want you to come on me. Trust me, you coming is a dominant thought in my mind most days. I was trying to get you to slow down so you wouldn’t regret anything.” She was smoothing her hair back from her face in the way he knew she liked. 

“I don’t regret it!” Probably wasn’t necessary to shout it at him. “So that’s an orgasm then?” She was still teary, but a sheepish smile had started to form. 

“Good to know. And yes. The French call it la petite mort. A little death.” He added in stroking her arm that was across his chest. 

“I can see why. And did you… you know, have the same thing happen?”

“No, love.” Lupin was staring into her eyes rubbing his thumb over her lips. 

“Oh. You don’t want to? If it’s just me that seems selfish?” Hermione moved to sit up, but was pulled down against the man’s chest. 

“Of course I do. One day, perhaps if I continue to be a lucky man. I want this moment to be about you.” Professor Lupin spoke into her hair.  

They laid there like that for hours. Talking about all kinds of things from favorite films to spells they thought were the most useless. They had food and drinks sent up. Hermione had dozed off for what felt like a few minutes when Lupin lightly shook her awake. 

“Mm what?” She could feel exhaustion setting in. 

“I’m sorry love, but it’s nearly 5. You can’t be seen walking back to your dorm in the same clothes from last night.” He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. 

“Thank you for last night. Or this morning. It was quite the way to celebrate the New Year.” She had stood to fix herself and was pushing her hair back. “This whole break, with you, actually has been…” 

Hermione walked over and dropped a kiss on his mouth. She loved how his stubble felt against her chin and jaw. His mustache tickled her nose. He walked her to the tapestry and standing behind her kissed her once more on her neck before she took off. 

Hermione could have sworn she floated back to her dorm room and thanked all the Gods that no one was around. 

_____

With the New Year came the same feelings and grudges. Hermione had hoped that after last night and the blatant cruelty they displayed Harry and Ron would come around to understanding her actions. As it turns out last night was just a preview of how much isolation her “friends” could bestow upon her. That morning at breakfast she sat in her usual seat and watched as the boys didn’t even give her a passing glance as they made their way further down the table. Hermione studied the space their figures had walked through and had to really ask herself if the time she spent with them was real or made up. She would never understand how people could go from supposed best friends to actively watching them be alone and be the cause of it. 

Last night wasn’t all terrible of course. Hermione looked down at her yogurt and coffee as she thought about the new feelings and experience being with her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had allowed her. Even after she had arrived back to the dorm rooms it felt like her body was still buzzing while also being ready to fall into the most wonderful sleep. She had hardly wanted to shower lest she wash off the smell of him. Today and tomorrow would be the only days left where their semi-private life could go on. 

She couldn’t stop the blush that formed when she thought about sitting with him in the library or possibly being able to sneak back to his bedroom later tonight. She looked up and scanned the room quickly moving her eyes over the staff dais. She met his eye and could swear he was smiling at her from behind his coffee mug. She returned to her routine looks about the room. After finishing her second cup of coffee she made her way to the library. 

That day she lounged in front of the fire reading ahead for classes and taking copious detailed notes. When her DADA professor stopped by and asked her if she had been the one to take some reference text for a lesson he was planning she didn’t even break concentration. Instead opting to sigh loudly, finish her sentence, and then look up at him with a sweet smile on her face. 

“I did, Professor. Unfortunately, I will be needing it today.” Hermione wasn’t sure, but she felt Madam Pince around. 

“For long? Perhaps I could take it and bring it back to you.” Lupin played his role, but made sure to keep his body facing towards the fire so no one would see his smile. 

“If you like I can move my stuff and you can read here?” Hermione was already moving her bag off the arm chair she knew he liked best. 

“You drive a hard bargain Miss. Granger. Tell me, did you understand everything that you’ve read so far in the book?” He settled himself and searched the index no doubt he was actually planning his lessons. 

“Actually, Professor now that you mention it…” 

And that was how they spent they day. Reading and cross referencing. Talking about theories and showing each other different or new text that dispel old beliefs regarding creatures or what Hermione founded the Ministry classified as ‘nearly human.’ 

After last night, Hermione began to feel more than ever that she wanted to show up for Lupin in a way he wanted. She knew that as much as he said he enjoyed himself and he made several references to how it wasn’t an image that would leave his mind any time soon Hermione didn’t want to push him. As badly as she wanted to stay in the library and then try to sneak down to see him that night something told her that he would appreciate her sticking to the original rule - no contact unless it happens organically. It’s the one rule she was consistently breaking. So as much as it felt like fighting gravity at 5 o’clock Hermione put her book down. 

“Thank you for the impromptu study session today, Professor. As my dorm mates will be back tomorrow evening I should really head back and make sure they arrive to a clean space. If you’re around tomorrow I already have a list of questions prepared.” Hermione packed up her stuff and smiled at the teacher. 

“Yes, alright, but Miss Granger please try to remember breaks are for breaking from work.” Professor Lupin’s gentle voice followed her out as they said goodbye. 

She did what she said she would. She went to the room and began the clean up process. Normally Hermione was a very organized person, but with the stress of Christmas and her nerves at her growing relationship she realized that she had let some of her well engrained habits fall to the wayside. She threw so much dirty laundry in the bin she wasn’t sure if she would actually have clothes for the first day back. 

After dinner she returned to her task in the bedroom. She wanted it spotless so the girls wouldn’t think less of her, but also so they knew she thought enough about them to clean up. She grabbed the one last fiction novel she had and headed to the bathroom for her last bath of the break. Her internal clock had gotten a bit messed up from staying up late for schoolwork and now for dalliances with a charming handsome professor. She knew it would be hours before she could go to sleep. 

Eventually, Hermione let out enough yawns to signal that if she stayed any longer she would fall asleep in the tub. She got out and finished her nightly routine realizing upon a look around that tomorrow she would have to spend time cleaning up in here as well. Not a bad way to start the morning especially if she had such a lovely reading partner to look forward to later that day. Hermione fell asleep with warm contentment spreading through her limbs. 

The next day it wasn’t until after breakfast and part way through cleaning that Hermione remembered to be concerned that the boys didn’t talk to her. There was a sadness that creeped in at the fact that it had only been over a week since they talked and yet Hermione was already making peace with the fact that they have so totally removed her from their lives. She noticed over the past week that they still seemed the same. Laughed the same. Played their games the same. Took meals the same. Maybe they didn’t realize she was gone. 

She pushed that to the dark corners of her mind and finished her task to head to the library. She had been posted there for almost 3 hours, it was just 1 o’clock, when her favorite guy finally showed. 

“Professor Lupin, I was worried you would intentionally dodge my pursuit of education.” Hermione grinned at him while reaching for her list of questions. 

“Hermione, I’m sorry,” she stopped what she was doing mid reach and looked at him, “I know you have infinite amount of questions and really I will put time aside in the new term to answer them, but today I must ask for the Dark Creatures and Repellant Charms text. Did you check it out or do you have?” Professor Lupin was rolling his lips together with a knitted brow. He was being serious with her. This was Professor Lupin as Hogwarts sees him. He wanted the text because he wasn’t going to stay with her today. Their last day. Hermione realized she was taking too long to respond when Lupin dipped his head to look into her eyes better. She quickly adverted them and looked for the book in her basket. 

“No, it’s here. I imagine you want to be student free before tomorrow.” She smiled, it was fake, while handing over the book. She didn’t look him in the eye. 

“Well, I… I never get tired of some students” Professor Lupin stammered out. He looked down at his shoes and exhaled loudly. 

“This morning Harry asked me to help him work on fending off the dementors so his Quidditch game wouldn’t suffer this term. And I agreed to spend the day with him doing just that.” 

Hermione didn’t say anything. She didn’t even blink. She stared straight ahead while she ran over the words he said. Of course he didn’t say he would rather spend time with his good pal Harry, but that’s what she heard. Again, too slow on the responses. 

“That’s good. The dementors really target him. He’s lucky to have so many in his corner. Hagrid. The Quidditch team. Dumbledore. The Weasleys. McGonagall. And now you.” Hermione let the statement hang there. She didn’t know why she said it. She did know she meant to convey a message. 

Professor Lupin quickly looked around and finding no one moved towards her quickly. 

“Hermione, please. He needs the lessons. He’s just doing his best. I know you two are at odds right now. I get it.” He sat down on the couch sitting diagonally from her. She turned her head to look at him. 

“You get it?” Her voice low and questioning. “Please, tell me Professor, what about this do you get? It’s amazing how you seem to be able to make time for-“ Hermione put up her hands as if making a stop motion would help her stop talking. “I can’t do this now. Maybe this is something you and I won’t see the same.” 

“We can talk about this later okay. Next time we see each other.” Professor Lupin went to put his hand on her leg, but pulled it back after a second thought. Having just resolved the day before to follow his lead on this rule more closely Hermione couldn’t help it. Being passed over for Harry Potter, his fun friend, made something in her snap. 

“Yes, I look forward to it. The next time we meet that is. When I don’t ask you or have a reason regardless if it’s valid or not. Just when it’s divined to happen.” Hermione was lashing out at Professor Lupin when she knew her problem was Harry. 

“That isn’t fair.” 

“It’s our last day.” Hermione whispered. 

“I know. I’m asking you to be understanding. You can’t compare yourself to Harry-“ 

“I have too many books out. If Madam Pince sees me she’ll restrict my check outs again. Best get to it.” Hermione picked up five books she didn’t need anymore and began walking towards the stacks. 

“Miss Granger. My office hours for the new term will be Tuesday and Fridays 4:00 to 6:00. I expect to see you there.” 

Hermione kept walking. 

___

Lavender and Parvati arrived that night and started gushing over the self portraits she took with the wizards camera Pav had sent along. Unfortunately, the events of the day had made it almost impossible to pretend to be cheerful and engaged in much conversation. At one point, Parvati had gone downstairs in search of her jacket and came back with a stricken face. 

“Hermione, um, fuck. So, Ron’s just told every one down there that you were the one who got Harry’s new broom taken away.” Parvati looked to Lavender hoping someone would understand how uncomfortable she was at delivering this news. 

“Is that true, Hermione?” Lavender asked her from her bed. 

“Yes.” Hermione said quietly. She couldn’t say she was surprised that one of the boys had told every one, but it still hurt. They knew how this house, how this school, operated. If they wanted her to be a social outcast they just caught the snitch. 

“Honestly, Hermione? Did you stop to think about this would effect us?” Lavender wasn’t looking at her, but her tone was frightening. 

“I’m sor-“ Hermione didn’t get a chance to finish. 

“Totally, Lav! I mean Hermione for God’s sake. Do you how annoying it’s going to be to watch them make those stupid ass faces. You know the ones where they think they’re right about something, but in the end they have to come to you and barely apologize and admit you were right?” Parvati was staring at her like she was mad, but her words were in defense of her.

For a second all three girls stared at each other. Then they burst out laughing. Lavender was practically doubled over on the floor from laughing so hard. It took a long time for them to come down. It didn’t help when Lavender and Parvati tried to go back and forth on who made the best Ron Weasley angry face impression. Eventually, there was silence in the room. 

“Can I sit with you at dinner?” Hermione asked the girls. 

“Shall we go then? I hope they made potatoes.” Lavender got off her bed and walked towards the door. 

The girls were right of course. All throughout dinner and the rest of the night Gryfinndor made if clear that they had officially exiled Hermione Granger. Not that she tried to talk to anyone, but the silence that she was met with was a clear indication that her presence in the common room wouldn’t be appreciated. 

Still, in processing this new found standing in her house Hermione refused to meet the eyes staring into her from the front of the Hall. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Second Term 

This was true misery. Hermione thought having her two best friends ignore her during Christmas break was awful, but as it turns out that was a tropical holiday compared to what she was currently living in. At least during break the castle had been quiet and peaceful. Now…

The night the students returned for second term Oliver Wood had some type of cyclonic meltdown in the common room about Harry being gifted a Firebolt only for it to be taken away. The next morning in the Great Hall as Hermione sat perched in what she was guessing would become her permanent seat Oliver stormed up to her and had screamed so loud even some of the older Slytherins looked taken aback. Clearly Oliver didn’t know the full story and as much as Hermione wanted to explain her actions every time she opened her mouth Oliver would scream louder. 

Hermione looked around the Hall trying to find someone, anyone, to come to her defense. Ron and Ginny sat in the middle of the table nodding along to Oliver’s rants. Harry just sat there with a smirk on his face as if he had been waiting two and a half years for her to get this comeuppance. Lavender and Parvati looked stunned that this was happening, but made no move to assist her. 

She quickly scanned the other tables to see mostly surprised faces. At Ravenclaw they just looked annoyed and putout at the disruption. Slytherin had composed themselves and were all wearing their signature smirks. Harry would have fit in nicely. 

She looked up at the teachers table. They were all sitting there except Professor Dumbledore who hardly ever joined the school at breakfast. Professor McGonagall was already rising from her seat. Clearly she too was too stunned by the outburst to have moved much faster. Snape carried on eating and flipping through his Potions Monthly. Professor Lupin was openly staring. Hermione didn’t care in that moment about rules. She stared into his eyes pleading with him to stop this and take her out of the hall. She could still hear Oliver screaming from over top of her. Lupin didn’t do anything. His facial expression didn’t change. He didn’t even make to move out of his seat. Please come, she thought to herself. Nothing. 

If she could just slip pass Oliver from her corner seat she could make it out of the Hall. He had moved on from how she didn’t appreciate Quidditch to what he thought of her, Hermione. 

“…honestly are you beyond any type of intelligence that doesn’t get told to you from a book? I swear if you find yourself in a fight all someone has to do is try to have a civil conversation with you and they would run for the hills. This is why you have no friends! You don’t even know how to be nice to people. You fuck over the two who took you on as a charity case. We get it. You have this whole thing going on. You only care about school and learning and getting as many O’s as possible. Maybe once in awhile you could try showering, brushing your hair, and not being such a fucking cunt and people would want to be around you!” Whatever Oliver was going to come up with next never left his mouth as McGonagall had silenced him as she walked down the aisle towards the students from her House. 

“Oliver Wood. I cannot believe what I’m hearing!” Professor McGonagall was beside herself. Her normally calm demeanor had been replaced and her facial expressions and hand movements matched her severe voice. 

Hermione assumes the professor kept up her dressing down of the Quidditch captain. She wouldn’t know as everything had faded to white noise. The stone brick she had been looking at been was going in and out of focus. When the girl lifted her head to look back up at the Professor’s table Lupin had still made no move to comfort her. With Oliver and McGonagall distracted, she by assigning him detentions and he by waving his hands trying to mime out his defense, Hermione picked up her bag and walked out with her head down. 

Defense Against the Dark Arts remained the last class of the day for Gryfinndor and Slytherins. It was like there was a hush that moved with her that day. Wherever she went there was an absence of silence. No one was talking to her, but no one was talking around her. She was thankful for her last class as it meant she was one hour closer to being able to escape to her bedroom. 

The class was insignificant. A review of the syllabus and what would be expected of them for the term. Lupin took his usual questions about what the kids wanted to learn and said he would find a way to incorporate some of those into the coursework. At 4:00pm class was dismissed. Mindlessly, Hermione packed up her notebook and pens. She favored the muggle way of note taking. As she stood to swing her bag over her shoulder she saw that Lupin was leaning against his desk saying bye to the students. So she went to walk out of the room. 

And she did. He didn’t ask her to stay. Didn’t call out her name and say “one thing, Miss Granger.” He said bye, but it wasn’t even directed at her specifically. 

Hermione made it back to her dorm room and allowed her body to curl up on the bed so she could cry. 

____

That was how the week would go. The next day chattered returned to her life. People still weren’t talking to her, but they begun talking around her again. All week and into the weekend no one spoke to her. It was like she was a ghost. She hadn’t raised her hand once in class. Even on Wednesday when Professor McGonagall threw her a softball of a question Hermione just shrugged her shoulders and stared back at her Head of House. She couldn’t remember the last time she had used her voice for more than the thank you whispers she would give when the Hogwarts elves would deliver her small snacks whenever they found her alone. She had stopped going to meals in order to avoid the stares or worse being talked at.   

Packing up her bag at the end of DADA on Thursday Harry walked passed her desk and side stepped it like it was contaminated. She wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but she had a naturally curious mind. Harry had asked Professor Lupin if they were still on for their lesson that evening and the two had laughed at some inside joke. Hermione walked out and found an alcove so as to regain her breath. Having the whole school ignore you because they were misinformed was one childish thing, but having the man that you are, or is it was now, in a relationship with join in was like being sliced up. Shallow cuts all over her body that stung and would pull. Just when you think you’ve bandaged one another opens up. 

Friday night Hermione found herself staring into the bathroom mirror wondering if people could still see her and if it was possible to be ignored so much that she would just disappear. After coming back from DADA she had walked in on Lavender and Parvati. They hadn’t been around at all claiming that they were helping Padma win over some boy and that Divinations was requiring a lot of their attention. When Hermione attempted to speak to them it was clear that, while they weren’t trying to be mean about it, they didn’t want to break rank with the rest of the House. Hermione understood that just as much as she cared about her interest these girls cared about their social standing. She fixed her lips in a smile and nodded her head before heading for the bathroom. 

Staring at herself she thought it was interesting that she hadn’t cried more. Probably because she had cried so much this year her body had up and forgotten how to make tears. She thought about what Lupin was doing now. If he was meeting with Harry again or watching the Gryfinndor team practice. Possibly he was already at dinner or in his study drinking a tumbler of fire whiskey and reading a book. 

She had thought about talking to him. She had already come up with several excuses to stay behind to be alone with him. Every time she thought about it though she changed her mind. What was the point? She was always the one chasing after him. She had been the aggressor in their relationship. And what was she going to ask anyway? Hi, Professor I know you snog me every once in awhile, but can you explain why you clearly favor Harry so much more over me? That wouldn’t be a productive conversation. She thought about just yelling at him. Telling him that he doesn’t care about her and is she just something for him to do? Again, that wouldn’t get anywhere. 

So she settled for knowledgable distancing. She knew why Professor Lupin was so drawn to Harry. Anyone would be able to tell why. Whether he wanted to be part of his life after being absent for so long or because he felt like a piece of James and Lily had come back to him and he wanted to protect that. Clearly, this was something that took priority for him. She didn’t want to be the one to be selfish. 

The weekend passed. Saturday Hermione didn’t even get out of bed unless it was to use the toilet. She was almost positive she heard Lav and Pav bickering about what to do about it. Whomever wanted to continue staying away from her won out. 

_________

By Wednesday morning Hermione decided to stop looking in mirrors. She had put her trousers on only for them to be way too big due to her lack of eating. Quickly she changed into a skirt that she rolled and pinned. Modifying clothes was against school policy as it prevented the girls from making their skirts too short and the boys from making their shirts too tight. She went to the mirror and was startled by her own reflection. She was pale and looked deathly ill. Her head had a bruise on it from where someone tripped her yesterday and she fell harder than she realized so she didn’t heal it. Too late now. Her clothes were frumpy as she had been wearing the same ones over and and over again. And her hair. It was in a state she hadn’t even recognized. She would get through this day and then she could come back and soak her hair and comb it. The day wouldn’t be any different than the other days. 

“Alright class settle down. I have a project to assign,” audible groans could be heard as Professor Lupin bounced on his feet from excitement, “this a partner assignment.” 

The atmosphere picked up immediately. Lupin went on to describe that this term each partnership will write an essay to go along with their final. 12 inches each on creatures considered dark by the ministry. About 6 to 7 creatures was expected. They could split the work however they wanted. He wouldn’t say how this went along with the final of course. He told the class to get into partners. Hermione didn’t panic. She knew no one would be her partner, but she was fine just doing it alone. Normally the professors were okay with her, Harry, and Ron working as a group because they knew she was dragging them along anyway. 

“Professor, can one of the creatures we research be a hag?” Malfoy has raised his hand and asked while sitting next to Theo Nott who was nodding his head as if they had discussed it. 

“I don’t see why not!” Professor Lupin smiled back at them. 

“That’s wonderful news, Sir! Thankfully we can interview our own hag right here!” Malfoy flourished his hands as if presenting Hermione to the class. 

“Malfoy find your partner and do worry about yourself. 20 points from Slytherin.” The laugh he got from the class let Hermione know that Malfoy thought a 20 point deduction was well worth it. 

As the class moved about with every one looking for partners Hermione stayed doodling on her paper. 

“Hermione?” His gentle voice said her name for the first time in almost ten days. “You need to find a partner.” 

Professor Lupin looked about the room for anyone else without a partner, but of course no one was available. 

“Harry, Ron you and Hermione can work together like usual.” Professor Lupin motioned with his hand for them to join together. 

“Oh, Sir, that is a good idea, but we actually want to really learn this. Hermione does know everything after all so it’s not like it would be a real partnership.” Harry said no to a teacher. She had never heard anyone openly being insubordinate to a teacher before and refuse a request. 

“Hm, okay. Hermione, which group would you like to join?” Professor Lupin asked her softly. He was treating her like a wounded deer. Which she supposed was fine considering she wanted to run away. 

“No group, Sir.” She mumbled at the desk. Her voice was too hoarse to be much louder. 

“You need a group this is a large assignment.” Professor Lupin was shaking his head, eyebrows pulled together, clearly confused why, with her course load, she would take this on by herself. 

“Alone. Please, just leave me alone.” Hermione moved her eyes to look up and met his for the first time since break. Green eyes met brown and if he could see the defeat in her eyes his didn’t acknowledge it. Nodding his head he adverted his eyes. 

“Okay, if you’re sure. In the interest of fairness I will help you. We’ll work out a schedule later.” Professor Lupin looked back down at her, but her eyes had already refocused on her desk. 

At the end of class if her Professor had called for her attention she wouldn’t have heard it over her own thoughts of getting back to her bed. 

________

Thursday and Friday were a blur. She was sure she had heard more remarks coming from Malfoy at some point. She thought Friday morning Pav was about to break and talk to her when a fifth year claimed clumsiness as the reason his morning coffee spilled all of her latest Ancient Ruins revision. She hadn’t of course and Hermione vanished the liquid without looking up. 

That afternoon as everyone was packing up Professor Lupin stood in front of Hermione and put a large hand on her notebook. 

“Do you want to stay after class and discuss your term project?” He smiled casually at her. 
“I’ve pulled some text already.” He turned and went to his desk where Hermione could see the stack of books. 

“No,” she watched his shoulders tense. “I have to do something.” 

“Busy schedule Hermit? That’s hilarious. I overheard Brown telling the She-Weasel that all you do is lay in bed and cry.” Pansy’s laugh was piercing. Something that rang in your ears for hours. Something you could decipher even from a large group of laughter. 

Hermione didn’t bother responding as was her new normal. She shouldered her bag and walked out of the door. 

“Hermione! Hermione! Wait,” It was Lavender. “Look, I’m sorry okay? I didn’t tell Ginny-“ 

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s not talk about it.” Hermione waved a hand to dismiss her as she continued walking away from the blonde girl. 

Hermione had considered going directly back to her dorm. It was her routine as of late. But for some reason she couldn’t seem to move. Instead, without thinking, her legs carried her out of the castle. 

When the hut door opened the dam broke and all of Hermione’s supposed tears from the past week came. 

______

That night Hermione ate dinner with Hagrid and he forced her to drink sugary tea one after the other. She explained everything that happened and how she had only been trying to protect Harry. Hagrid told her that regardless of what was happening she did the right thing, but he understood that doing the right thing did very little to help the pain of being alone. 

As she made her way back up to the castle around eight she resolved that the next morning she would wake up and try to get back to normal. She had grown use to her classmates not liking her for the same reasons they didn’t in primary school. If she were being honest, it’s not like the first two years at Hogwarts were all that different to how things are now. At least she had Harry and Ron to whatever extent. 

That night in the shower she spent over an hour detangling her hair trying to get it back to a presentable state. 

The next morning she woke up and was in the Hall right as breakfast was ready to be served. She wanted to eat and get to the library. While she was caught up, or even ahead, in some classes she was extremely behind in DADA. The homework was much lighter due to the extensive term long project, but she hadn’t even started looking at which creatures she wanted to tackle. She had overheard Ron and Harry telling Professor Lupin that even they had an outline done. 

She was happy with how quiet the library was as Ravenclaw and Slytherin were playing today. Something about depending on the game Gryfinndor could do something with the cup. She didn’t know. 

After looking through almost thirty books and working through lunch Madam Pince finally kicked her out when the sun began setting. She decided to get it over with and do her first check in with Professor Lupin. She would simply hand him the piece of parchment with her creature list and ask him to cross off which ones he didn’t think would make for interesting subjects. Shouldn’t be too long of a meeting. 

God, Hermione thought, how quickly things change.

Two weeks ago he had her pinned against the closet door in his bedroom and watched from the bed as she pulled her underwear down her legs. He had allowed her to take her pleasure from his body for the first time as he held her. 

And all the things he said about her. How smart she was. And compassionate, trusting, open-minded, pure… Now, they hadn’t spoken since term began and he had not once defended her against the onset of never ending bullying. He was watching her get increasingly isolated. Whatever they had first term, over Christmas break, that was done now. He was her Professor just like the rest of them, just like Snape. 

She kept repeating this to herself as she made her way down the DADA hallway. She counted her lucky stars when she saw the lights in his classroom. That meant he was working in there or in the office. She was repeating her mantra of Lupin just being her professor, but couldn’t stop the excitement that she felt. It would be the first time they would be alone together in almost two weeks. Maybe he would apologize? He would have a good reason. He was working something out behind the scenes! There would be an explanation for everything. Obviously he let Professor McGonagall handle Oliver Wood that morning she is the Head of House. She shook her head at herself for not having thought of that sooner. 

The laughter was the first thing she heard as she was opening the door. If she hadn’t been so lost in her thoughts she would have stopped and walked away. He would have smelled her, but it would have saved her the embarrassment of having to the see this scene. 

Professor Lupin was not working. He was sitting with Harry drinking butter beer. Judging from their disheveled appearances she assumed they had been practicing their spells. 

Harry’s laughter died on his lips and his face fell when he laid eyes on her. 

“Hermione, what a lovely surprise-“ Professor Lupin made to stand up. 

“This is a private lesson, Hermione. You shouldn’t be here.” Harry could have spit at her and it would have delivered the same message. 

“Harry…” Professor Lupin said his name like you would a cat who jumped on your kitchen table. You want them to stop, but you know it’s impossible so really your scolding is just for fun. 

“I’m just dropping off my list for the term project. So here.” Hermione spoke quickly and dropped the parchment on the nearest desk. 

“Since you’re here why don’t you come in?” Professor Lupin gestured to Harry and himself as if Hermione should join them. In doing so he had turned to look at Harry to give him a warning look. 

Hermione had already turned and was out the door. 

_____

The last two weeks of January passed exactly the same as the first two. Hermione kept to herself and for the most part everyone had moved on from the broom incident. The girls dorm had settled into the same silence it endured the first and second year of their time there. Hermione got use to not looking for Harry and Ron wherever she went. She paid more visits to Hagrid’s. She kept her grades at top marks and her preparations during break paid off when her course work proved much more manageable with the time turner this go around. As a personal victory she also kept her hair combed and braided most days. 

January bled into February. Hermione watched as snow fell heavily over the grounds from her favorite sofa through her favorite window in front of her favorite fire in the library. Her mind betrayed her by wandering to a time when she would share it with a tall man who would grip her hips and tell her about his life. Tell her about parts of his life she corrected herself. 

“Hermione?” It was a familiar voice. 

“Hmm?” Hermione hummed out allowing herself to stay distracted by the snow. 

“Can I sit? It’s only, I, uh, can I talk to you?” Harry stammered out. 

“Sure.” Hermione turned her back on the window and studied the boy who she never knew possessed such cruelty. 

Harry exhaled heavily. She could tell he was looking for the words to say. She turned her head to stared into the fire with him. 

“This isn’t easy for me. Saying sorry that is. I was so angry at you.” Harry finally got it out without looking at her. “You knew how much the broom meant to me and it felt like you took it from me.” 

Hermione didn’t say anything. He hadn’t actually said he was sorry and so far he had only found ways to blame her for his shitty behavior. 

“Okay, yeah, allowing everyone in the House to treat you like that was wrong. I know that. But once it got started? It was like watching a train wreck. Oliver yelling at you in the Hall? It was a fire consuming everything. And I wanted to tell so many people to shut up, but then I would look at you and get so mad all over again. And now with you and Professor Lupin-“ 

“What about me and Professor Lupin?” Hermione shot him a look. What did he mean? He couldn’t know anything. Surely, Lupin wasn’t talking to Harry about them. She knew they were close, but that would be a new level of betrayal. 

“You barely pay attention in class. I know how jealous you are that I’m getting one on one lessons with him. I thought you would be happy for me. I guess that just fueled the anger in me.” Harry had turned to look at her now. A silence hung between them. 

“Can I ask you something?” Hermione twisted her fingers around in her lap. She knew this conversation could be the final end to their friendship. 

“Sure, okay.” 

“After everything that you’ve seen and faced why is it that I somehow always ends up being your biggest adversary?” Hermione looked into his eye. 

“You’re not!” Harry shot around so his whole body faced hers. 

“I am, Harry.” Hermione smiled sadly at him. “Think about it. First year, we both came here completely wide eyed to magic and yet you sided with the boy who made nasty comments about me actually trying and being excited. Second year, I meant what I said, you never told anyone that it was my research or Hagrid’s tips that allowed you to figure out how to fight Voldemort. It’s like everything I do or say you and Ron are right there watching over me and if I say the wrong thing that’s it you cut me out. Ron could shave off your eyebrows and light your clothes on fire and you would find a way to laugh it off.”

Neither said anything as Hermione’s words sunk in. 

“I love you, Harry. You were the first person to be my friend I think ever. As hurtful as this past month has been it’s not a new experience. You said you came here to apologize, right? Well so far all you’ve said is what I did to deserve your anger and that you think I’m jealous of your relationship with a Professor. You have no idea what living in this has been like. How trying to do everything, caring for you, all this time - what it cost. I think you can’t say you’re sorry to me because you have no idea how I feel and you don’t really want to. I know it took a lot for you to come here. I respect that. I think… I think you were able to sit back and watch this past month happen, to pour gas on it, because as much as you want to be a this perfect person, you don’t like me.” 

Hermione was openly crying. The weight of her words hanging on both their shoulders. Her shaky breaths and the crackling fire was the only noise. There was a honesty in her words that Harry couldn’t unhear and Hermione couldn’t take back. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Harry whispered. He forced himself to look at her. As a 13 year old boy watching a girl cry was about as comfortable as looking at your naked mother. 

“It’s okay. I’ve made peace with it over the last month.” Hermione tried to lighten her tone, but her tears wouldn’t stop. 

“Hermione, I do like you. I couldn’t have done anything without you from homework to defeating Voldemort last year. I don’t know why I got so angry over the broom.” 

“Homework… yeah I’m good for when you need me. You don’t know why you got so angry? I do. It’s the same reason I can’t forgive you right now.” 

Harry’s face was hurt, but changed quickly to confusion. Hermione was actually able to laugh at that. 

“The broom. It didn’t matter who it was from. Symbols are an amazing thing. You should have taken Ancient Ruins,” Harry rolled his eyes, “I’m being serious. You don’t have to try to belong here Harry. You don’t have to try hard. Quidditch, Quidditch was the first thing you did that made everyone here realize you were meant to be here. You aren’t just some famous name in the history books. You thought I took that away from you.” 

“And what’s your symbol?” Harry was staring at her like a chess match. Something about it warmed Hermione’s heart. 

“Grades.” Harry laughed so hard Hermione leaned over and hit his arm. 

“Shut it. Listen, you’re Harry Potter. You walked into this school and, god the respect people just threw at you, well except Snape, but me? You know Malfoy has never been given one detention for calling me a mud blood? Crabbe tripped me down the stairs three weeks ago and Professor Flitwick just frowned. Professor Lupin heard Malfoy-“ 

Hermione had to stop talking as the lump in her throat had come back. Thinking of trying to explain to Harry how Professor Lupin’s lack of response to her treatment would not be easy. 

“I didn’t know. I didn’t see it. I don’t know how I didn’t, but Hermione you have to believe me!” 

“I do. Harry, getting grades, getting validation from these Professors. It means I deserve to be here. If Malfoy gets his way one day they could take away my wand, but they could never, never, take away the fact that I am more powerful than them. I don’t need to be famous. I don’t need to be a pureblood. I’m the Brightest Witch of Our Age. And yet, I need these professors. And I want to not be so lonely.” Hermione’s face was serious. She was searching Harry’s to see if he really understood. 

“I won’t lie and say I get it, but I will try.” Harry reached out and grasped her hand. 

“So,” Hermione let out a breath to change the mood, “I assume you got your broom back?”

“Yeah,” Harry rubbed the back of his neck while his ears turned pink, “McGonagall gave it to me tonight. Still no idea who sent it. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for weeks though!” 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s getting late. We should get back before curfew.” Hermione started packing up. 

“Hermione, I don’t want to move backwards, but I have to ask,” Hermione raised her eyebrows at Harry, “why are you jealous of my lessons with Professor Lupin? I get that you want the teachers attention, but it just seems like with Lupin specifically.” 

Hermione took a breath in and closed her eyes. She needed to think of something and fast. She thought Harry would accept what she’d already told him, but sometimes he really wanted to drill down. Exhaling she kept her eyes on the books she was putting away. 

“First, it’s not jealousy. It really isn’t. I’m happy you have this connection with him and your past. You deserve it. It’s just, it seemed that we finally got a professor who has real world experience. Who lived through the first war and could teach us things. It seemed like he cared about us. It seemed like he cared about me…” Hermione trailed off. She needed to recover. 

“Sometimes being smart and having all the answers isn’t great. Snape is outright hostile and on the other end McGonagall barely makes time for me because she just assumes I’ll know the answers already. Most students won’t talk to me about school or current events, no offense, so it seemed like I finally had a teacher who could fill those gaps. He cares about you, Harry. I’m not jealous. I’m disappointed. His care for you, it blinded him to the fact that I wanted him too.” Hermione turned to look at her friend. Her sadness was back, but it wasn’t directed at the boy in front of her. 

Harry’s lips quirked in a smile, “you know I appreciate that you never said anything when you would get spells right before me in class.” 

The pair laughed as they made their way out of the library and back to their dorms. Hermione could tell things would turn around, but she also knew that she couldn’t be so blind to who people were, good and not so good, anymore. 

_________

Well, there goes the fucking good times. Harry and Hermione returned to the dorms the night before to find Ron beyond livid. He accused Crookshanks of murdering Scabbers. Harry tried his best to get him to calm down, but it wasn’t until Harry yelled loud enough for the first years to hear him in their dorms did Ron actually stomp up the stairs. The next day Ron glared at Hermione openly. Harry had sat with her at breakfast at the end of the table to show support, but really Hermione thought Harry was just afraid of his best friends insanity. 

Somehow Ron being angry with Hermione wasn’t the same as Harry being angry. The Gryfinndor’s started coming around with many of them asking Hermione if Ron had always been this mental and Hermione smiling sweetly and just saying ‘I think he’s going through something.’ She refused to engage with him. Harry managed to play both sides, but he wouldn’t let Ron openly attack her and that was an improvement. 

Tuesday was coming to a close and the class was counting the minutes until DADA was over. 

“Alright, alright class dismissed. Miss Granger? You need to stay behind for office hours.” Professor Lupin said to her from the perch on his desk. 

Hermione couldn’t help the surprise look on her face. Sure, some kids got asked to stay behind for office hours, but not Hermione Granger. It meant she was either failing or in trouble and neither of those things could be applied to her, thank you very much. 

“Sir, I don’t understand?” Hermione couldn’t believe she was being singled out like this. Professor Lupin had said a total of 74 words to her since term began. She knew because she counted them from memory. 

“Sit, Miss Granger.” Professor Lupin walked towards the door to usher the kids out. When Harry said he would be quiet he just wanted to wait Professor Lupin shooed him away as well and said she would see him later. 

Hermione heard the door close and felt the magic in the air as Lupin cast a silencing spell and locking wards. She stared straight ahead as he walked by her. He stood in front of her desk again. He was so close she could take in his smell. She had missed it. She refused to look at him. If she looked into those green eyes and inhaled his scent she would lose her solid ground. She couldn’t afford to turn into some silly girl. He was pacing in front of her. Small paces, only three or four steps, but paces. When she didn’t say anything he went to sit on his desk again. His office hours were only two hours long so at some point he would have to start talking. It wasn’t going to be her first. 

“Thank you for staying.” Professor Lupin broke the silence. He sighed at the obvious nerves in his voice. 

“It’s against school rules to miss office hours if a Professor has required you to attend.” Hermione was using her monotone voice. Her textbook voice Harry called it. 

“Right,” another big exhale from the Professor, “Hermione, I…” 

She refused to give in to him. He’s been gone for over a month. Playing best friends with Harry. Watching as the whole school bullied her. The violence. The public humiliation. He just stood by and watched it happen. 

He jumped off the desk and grabbed a chair from one of the student’s desk. He placed it in front of her so instead of sitting next to each other they had the desk in between them and could look into each others eyes. Except Hermione wouldn’t give him that. 

“I know you have questions. I know you want to know why-“

“No.” Shortest answer she’s ever given

“No?” His confusion was laced with a bit of fear. Hermione not giving a well detailed answer was frightening. 

“No questions.” Hermione finished packing up her stuff so she could leave as soon as she was dismissed. 

“Hermione, I find that hard to believe. Please, let me explain.” He moved to grab her hands, but she quickly dropped her supplies and placed them under the table. 

“There’s a quote I like ‘silence can often be more disturbing than noise, it reveals the complicated mechanism of our thoughts.’ I don’t need you to explain anything to me. If that’s all, respectfully, Sir, I’m going to leave now.” 

Hermione grabbed her bag and turned towards the door. Without look back she swallowed the tears that they both knew she was crying and spoke over her shoulder. 

“There’s another one I never understood until this past month. ‘Words can sting like anything, but silence can break the heart.’ Don’t you think that’s true, Professor?” 

She left. She walked as quickly as possible to the nearest bathroom and stayed there until she was sure she could get to the library without being seen. 

The days of the week passed quickly and by the way Lupin was looking at her in class Hermione knew he would ask her to stay again for office hours on Friday. She could feel his eyes follow her when she entered and exited the hall. She walked passed him yesterday in the library as she saw him and knew he would try to corner her in the reference stacks. 

Nighttime was a different story. Tuesday night she found herself in the shower replaying their office hours ‘meeting’ as she caught herself breaking down every word he said in an attempt to make him innocent in everything. He wanted to explain to her. What did that mean? Something was going on? No, Harry would have told her by now. But what if he didn’t tell Harry and he wanted to tell you because he trusts you more? Think about those earthy green eyes and the way his soft cardigan felt around you while you laid in his bed New Years Eve. Her thoughts were going wild. 

She regretted thinking about that as soon as she had. Her mind was assaulted by images from that night. The way he felt on top of her as he pushed her knee down so their bodies could connect more closely. His lips working their way up her neck to gently kiss her earlobe and the way it felt when he would breathe into her ear. At the thought a shiver ran down Hermione’s spine and even in the hot water her nipples hardened. She tried her best to not think about it, but her body had come alive and every touch of her hands on her neck, in her hair, or her lower stomach was pulling her closer to running the tips of her fingers through her moist folds. She could feel the heat building and the hot water felt like fire on her skin. 

Hermione, only having done this one or twice, wasn’t entirely sure so she tried to replicate what she would do with Professor Lupin only she couldn’t get the angle or feeling right and the more she thought about cumming while sitting on his lap the wetter she became and the more frustration grew. Finally, she took the pads of two of her fingers and placed them directly on her aching clit. She let out an audible gasp as a small wave of pleasure ran through her. She allowed the images to run through her mind however they wanted as she rubbed her fingers up and down or back and forth or around in a small circle. 

It felt like she was trying to find that same release for an hour before in a huff she gave up. She didn’t know what she was doing and it felt like she was teasing herself. 

This patterned continued for the next two nights. She knew the charmed sugar quill, if he still had it, would be spinning holes in his desk. Today was Friday and as Hermione suspected Lupin again asked her to stay for office hours. 

“Weasley have you tried looking for your rat in Granger’s hair? I would say it found a nest.” Malfoy and his cronies laughed. 

“Malfoy, I’m actually curious did it really take you eight days to come up with that?” Hermione faked interest as she turned to look at him. 

“No, Hermione of course not. It took eight days for him to pluck up the courage to talk to you.” Parvati deadpanned from the back. Hermione turned back around in her seat as Pav and Lav shrieked with laughter outside of the classroom. She could practically feel Malfoy’s rage, but Lupin had seen them out before he could say anything more. 

The familiar silence was back. Again, Hermione was determined not to be the first to speak. She didn’t care that this was petty or a bad way to try and get an upper hand she was determined. 

“We need to discuss where you’re at with your term project.” He had pulled up a chair to sit across from her. 

“Of course.” She didn’t think he had actually meant it when he said he would help guide her through the project. “I’ve created my outline as well as my introduction. I’ve chosen these six creatures as they tend to be able to get along with each other the best. Or at least cohabitate in the same forest or village the best.” 

Hermione pulled out her parchment rolls and handed them to her professor. He spent about five minutes looking through them. 

“Wow, Hermione, this is incredible work. This outline is better than some of the essays I know I’ll be getting. Do you have any questions for me?” 

“No.” She stuck her hand out while fiddling with her bag so she wouldn’t have to look at him. 

“Hermione, we need to talk.” 

“No, we don’t.” 

“We do.” Professor Lupin let out a huge sigh. 

“Why? I can’t believe there’s anything I need to hear you say.” Hermione knew her tone was biting. She knew if anyone was to overhear this she could be in trouble for speaking to a teacher this way. Thankfully the wards meant she was free to express herself. 

“I have things I want to say, that I have to say. But I think you need to say some things to me. I see you’re getting on with Harry again. That’s good.” Professor Lupin tried to get her eye contact. 

“Why is that good?” Hermione met his eyes. The fierceness causing him to lean back a bit. 

“Because we all need friends Hermione. The past six weeks. I mean, my god, I’ve never seen one student be so incredibly isolated. So alone.” He was trying to comfort her. 

Hermione let out a laugh that was part cry, part sarcasm. She couldn’t decide from which emotion this laugh was coming from, but she knew it wasn’t because he was making a joke. 

“So, let me get this straight, Professor. You’re saying for the last six weeks you watched everything that has happened to me, happen, and you’re just now, AFTER Harry has allowed me back in his circle, addressing it with me? I mean, truly incredible. Just the best. Award for he who most not care a lot goes to-“ Hermione was crying, but still laughing sarcastically at her teacher. 

“That’s enough, Hermione.” He cut her off. She knew the smile she wore was bratty, but she couldn’t help it. She slowly came down from her anger high and let her face fall. Tears silently made their way down her face as they stared into each other eyes. 

“Can I go?” She whispered.

“No.” 

And they stared at each other. Both willing the other to speak first. The seconds ticking by in the silence. 

“I am happy to see you and Harry have made up. You guys have a real friendship.” Professor Lupin spoke first.

“Loyalty is an interesting thing.” Hermione squinted her eyes at him. Looking at him. He looked rested. Snape must be giving him better potions like he said he would. 

“What do you mean?” They were in a stand off even if they wouldn’t recognize it. 

“You know what loyalty is right, Professor? You have it. To Dumbledore? To Harry? Always so quick to take their side and show up for them.” Hermione was still glaring. 

“And you.”

“No,” she let a small smile escape through, “No, not for me. It’s like… it’s like you used it up. The last you had went to Harry, hell even Ron, the first night on the train. All you had left to give me was the part of you that you don’t like.” 

“That isn’t true!” He was forceful. Stern. She couldn’t tell if he was mad. 

“Stop. It’s okay.” Hermione slowly blinked while nodding her head. 

“No, because it’s not true. Hermione, it’s not true.” He was shaking his head and kept reaching forward as if he wanted to grab her. 

“So tell me this. How is it that you could sit there and watch Oliver Wood scream at me like that? Or Malfoy? 20 points, really? Even worse, Harry and Ron. The leaders of the pack were able to turn my whole house against me and you’re just hanging out, drinking butter beer, and talking Quidditch. You didn’t speak to me for six weeks. After Christmas Break, after New Year, I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought I guess. I was wrong.” Hermione was surprised she still had tears left to cry, but the mention of the night they shared together brought a fresh wave to her eyes. 

“You aren’t wrong. I saw what was happening, but I didn’t know what to do. You have to understand I was scared. Scared that if I started reacting to one thing I would start reacting to every thing. I was scared at what was happening to you. Hermione, you don’t look well. You haven’t been eating. You stay in the library all day when you’re not in class. Hagrid said you’ve been coming to see him and spend the whole time crying about how you’re alone here. I - I was jealous. Jealous that you went to him and didn’t come to me. I know, I know I said I wanted certain rules, but I thought you would surely come to me if there was a problem. Instead, you’ve just been wasting away.” Professor Lupin had leaned in closer to her. Concern was all over his face. 

“Those are nice words, Professor. I don’t know if you mean them. I hope you do, I guess. Jealously and self preservations sound like good reasons. But the truth is I needed you and you left me because Harry’s feelings were hurt over a broom. You made me feel special-‘

“You are special! To me, you are special.” Lupin had gotten up and walked around and crouched down next to her chair. “Please, I’m sorry.” 

He took her hands in his and rubbed his thumb on the back in that comforting gesture she loved. He was staring at her as if he knew she could disappear. 

“I’m going to say something and it’s going to be harsh” Hermione prefaced. She took a deep breath in as he encouraged her to continue. “Professor, Harry is can be a great friend. He’s amazing in so many ways. But he’s not his father.” 

Professor Lupin pulled back like she had slapped him. He stood quickly and went back to the chair on the other side of her desk. 

“I know that. You don’t think I fucking know that? Why, how could you say something like that to me.” Now he was angry. 

“I think,” she was talking slowly; really picking her words, “I think, you think that Harry is your chance at a do over. That Harry and Ron, being back here, it’s all just… and I don’t fit into that. You told me you watched James do horrible things to people and you sat by and watched as Harry did all this to me. You have to admit, at least to yourself, that your favoring of him doesn’t leave any room for me. You won’t make the space for me.” 

Hermione took a second to gather herself and brace herself for his anger. When none came she looked up at him to find him staring at her with a hard expression. She slowly got up and went to stand in between his legs. His face instantly softening at her being so close.

“I want you so badly. I want to be around you all the time. I want to talk to you about everything. I want to watch your face when Seamus tells his stupid limericks. I want to see you before I go to sleep and talk about our days and discuss theory and new policies at the Ministry. Every day I think about you. Your hands. Your lips. The way your hair feels when I run my fingers through it. The way you laugh at my begging because you know it’s only you I want.”

“Hermione…”

“But I also want someone who wants me back. I don’t want someone who looks at me and sees the brains of Harry Potter’s Golden Trio. And I really don’t want someone who sees me as dispensable enough that they can watch as I, what did you say, waste away and not do anything.” 

With that Hermione leaned down and kissed him. Gently. Running one of her hands through his hair as the other pushed on his chest. He attempted to grab her hips and pull her down on him, but she broke the kiss before he could deepen it. 

“God, I would take a hundred years of Januarys to not have to feel the pain that will be missing you, Professor.” 

Hermione grabbed her bag and left the classroom. Her hands like ghosts prints on her defense teacher and her tears dripping down his face into his mouth. The wards broken, so Lupin could only feel their sadness in the air. 

______

There was something about acknowledging the deep well of depression that came with having to let someone or something go. Facing it, seeing it there, you could begin grieving it. 

However, it was impossible to grieve something if it was constantly in your face reminding you that it was there you just couldn’t have it. 

One week. That was how long he gave her. Hermione had thought after their last conversation Professor Lupin would return to leaving her alone. She was able to escape his class on Tuesday without incident. She no longer felt his eyes on her in the Hall. He wouldn’t accidentally run into her at the library. Almost seven days later and she felt like her lungs could fully expand and take in the air around her. One week was all she got. 

“Miss. Granger, office hours today.” Professor Lupin said right before dismissing class.

At this point the class was openly gawking at her. Once was strange. Twice was bizarre. Three times? Which was more confusing - Voldemort living in someones head or Hermione potentially failing a class? 

“Professor, I’m sorry, I really don’t understand. Surely-“ Hermione was openly pleading. Her classmates were staring at her. “No, Professor, I can’t.” 

She had just said no. To a teacher. Openly, in front of a class, been disrespectful and argumentative. He had to know that her saying she couldn’t didn’t mean she couldn’t stay for office hours. It meant she couldn’t stay around him, alone, for office hours. 

“You can. Office hours and you’ll serve detention for your outburst.” His eyes were cold. It had been awhile since she had seen this Lupin. 

“Class dismissed.” 

The students quickly filed out. While the students were normally inclined to linger and listen in and spread any gossip there must have been something about the tension that told them to clear out quickly. Lupin stood by the door bidding them a good weekend. 

Hermione had buried her head in her arms on the desk. Barely registering when he closed the door and cast the normal charms. It took her all of thirty seconds to decide she wasn’t going to hold back. As soon as she heard him close to her and a slight clearing of his throat she jumped up. 

“Why are you doing this?” Hermione yelled at him. Before thinking she had her hands on his chest pushing him away from her. There was no way she would make a huge impact, but he allowed her to push him back a few steps anyway. She let all of her emotions out. Anger, sadness, betrayal, hurt, all of it. 

“It hurts. Please, it hurts.” Hermione couldn’t tell if her words made any sense through her weeping. She felt pathetic, but clearly talking to him rationally didn’t work so she would try something else. 

“I have to fix this. I have to make it right!” Professor Lupin yelled at her causing her to still. 

“You can’t. I told you.” Hermione stared at him. “Look at me. There isn’t anything left to fix.” 

“Why didn’t you come to me? Why did you go to Hagrid.” He was pissed. 

“I… what?” They talked about this, hadn’t they? 

“I told you last week it bothered me you went to Hagrid. You never gave me an answer as to why.” He was staring at her. She thought he was angry, but maybe this was something else. 

“You said yourself that I was following the rules by not being around you by force or whatever it was you said. It was something stupid I’m sure.” If they were going to talk about this, Hermione thought, she couldn’t talk to him like a teacher. It had to be raw. “So I went to Hagrid’s. He’s not embarrassed to be seen with me. He likes spending time with me. Doesn’t care that Harry and Ron aren’t with me when I show up. Cares about how I feel. It’s nice to have a friend.” 

“That’s… that’s just… You’re being unfair, Hermione.” Lupin turned from her and began pacing in the back of the classroom. 

“How so? What would you like me to think? You tried to tell me your reasons and to be honest - they aren’t good enough. Overreactions and scared? Come on. It’s bullshit.” Hermione hissed out. 

“I tried to tell you-“ his voice was getting lower. This was a real fight. 

“Bull. Shit.” 

“What do you want from me, Hermione?” He had stopped to look at the girl. His arms were out towards her. He was asking her to forgive him. 

“I don’t blame you.” Her soften voice shocked even her. “I imagine you woke up and realized this was too much? I wish you had handled it better, but you can’t fix it now.” 

Hermione turned to pack her bag. He wouldn’t stop her she knew. 

“You’re right.” He whispered behind her. Closer to her. 

“What?” She stopped her movements, but didn’t look at him. 

“That morning at breakfast. I was watching Oliver lay into you. I had this feeling that I don’t know if I’ve ever had in 33 years of life. The look on your face. You were so scared of him. So hurt. The way you looked around for someone to stop him it was… the way you looked up at me. I can’t stop thinking about it. The pain in your face. And I felt like killing him. A 17 year old boy. I could feel the hexes forming in my mouth that I wanted to use on him. To watch him suffer. And it scared me, Hermione. To feel that way about anyone. About you.” Professor Lupin was standing right behind her. 

“Keep going.” She needed more. More information. More honesty. More of him. 

“I told you I bounced around a lot after the war, after every one was gone whether dead or another way. I was alone. Sure, I talked to people. Some of the people from our side in the first war kept up with me. After it was widely known I was always on their side they wanted to be my friend again. But, God, so many people died. I think for some of us it was easier to just not be around each other. Being around each other reminded us of who wasn’t there. So I was alone.” 

“Completely alone?” They both knew what she was asking. She couldn’t believe a man in his twenties and early thirties would go without the company of a woman. Even Lupin, with his strict moral code and declaration of loneliness, she couldn’t believe every night was spent alone. 

“There were a few here and there. One night stands. A few that I saw more than once.” He was pausing between words. He knew she needed to hear this, but he didn’t want to tell her. 

“And you… you slept with them? That’s what a one night stand is?” Her voice was quiet. She wanted to hear this. Her downfall would always be needing to know all the information. 

“No, Hermione. I fucked them.” His voice was the gentle tenor she loved, but hearing him talk about such an act made her body respond to him. “They weren’t special. I wouldn’t allow them to be.” 

“And that’s what you wanted for us? For me, I mean. To have had happened and move on?” 

“No.” 

“Then what do you want?” She rounded on him. She wanted to feel compassion for him, but she was just getting more confused. 

“Honestly, I don’t know. I never expected to meet someone I wanted to be with until you. That I wanted to just sit with and listen and talk to. I will hurt you, Hermione. It’s inevitable. And I don’t just mean not standing up for you. That hurts, yes, but I mean a deep hurt.” He reached out and stroked her cheek. 

“You could always not.” She tilted her head back to look into his eyes. Could he see how much she still wanted him? 

“You are so innocent.” He was laughing. “Too innocent for me.” 

She broke away from him. Even if everything else could be fixed she couldn’t change her age. She couldn’t change where she was in life. She couldn’t fix his internal conflicts. 

“Well, alright then. That’s that. At least it’s out there now?” Hermione tried to smile at him. She wasn’t sure what her face did, but it wasn’t a smile. “But, Sir, you’re still my Professor. You need to show up for me the same way you would anyone else. I think we’ve established that you won’t be able to teach me the way you want to teach Harry, but I deserve the same as all the other students.” 

“You’re right. I’m going to do better. I promise you that.” 

“I’m serious. You can’t let my classmates get away with treating me like trash because you’re worried that on some microscopic level they could piece together from a look that I know what it feels like to cum on you.”  She was speaking without breathing or thinking. The last sentence caused time to stop around them. 

“Hermione.” He had to grind the words out. His eyes had gone dark and his muscles tensed. “You can’t say things like that. We agree, right?” 

“Yeah, sorry.” She tried to take a deep breath, but the only thing her body would let her do were the shallow pants happening. “Yes, I didn’t mean… I was just talking and I had been thinking about…” 

She didn’t want to finish that sentence. There would be no point in lying. She knew how wet her panties were. She knew, he knew. They had just agreed to be better with one another. 

“Hermione, I say this with all respect, considering some of the company I have been in, you will be the toughest to have around.” The air was still filled with tension, but the joke landed with her and the witch let out a real laugh. 

“I apologize, Professor.” She said between her laughter. He joined her in lightening the mood and moving on from their heavy conversation. 

“Okay, so your term project. Every Friday, office hours? We’ll meet to go through what you’ve got.” Professor Lupin passed her on his way back to his desk. Going around he opened one of the drawers and took out the stack of books he had gotten for her. 

“Okay! If you’re sure. I don’t want to take up so much of your time.” Hermione accepted the books out of his hands. Both noticed the poignant way they didn’t touch. “It’s just I see the fifth years waiting outside to talk to you about their NEWTs.” 

“We can work that out if the need arises. I’m concerned about your course load with this project.” He had leaned back against his desk. 

“Yes, when you put it like that it you make sense. Okay, every Friday.” That was his dismissal. Professor Lupin smiled at her as she finished packing her bag. She was almost out the door. 

“Professor Lupin?” 

“Yes, Hermione?”

“Do I really have to serve detention?” She has that serious look on her face that made her look so much older. 

“I’ll say yes, but I reserve the right to determine when. Uh,” He held his hand up to stop her imminent interruption, “You back talked and were blatantly disrespectful in class. Just like every other student, right?” 

“Fine.” She grumbled as she walked away and the Professor swore he heard her mumble something along the lines of “I’d take it back if I knew.” 

_______

Her whole House was screaming. Harry had caught the snitch ensuring Gryfinndor would compete for the Quidditch Cup. Hermione knew one of the reasons Harry was smiling so big was because he had scared the shit out of Malfoy and company. He was able to use his expecto patronum, except he did it on three Slytherin idiots instead of actual dementors. 

“Hermione, love, come here.” She was about to tell off who ever it was that was calling her like a dog when she realized it was Fred Weasley. Something about Fred. She could never stay mad at him for too long. So she let herself smile at him and walk towards where he sat on the plush sofa. 

“Yes?” 

“Drink this butter beer and tell me I’m the more handsome twin.” Fred handed her the drink while George smiled and laughed. Clearly, they had already gotten into whatever it was they were drinking. 

“Or I could not drink the butter beer and tell you your the more handsome twin anyway.” Hermione winked at him. 

George’s mouth fell open as he shifted his gaze back and forth between his brother and the girl he just realized was 14 and not 11. Fred, on the other hand, had his hands on his knees and slowly moved them into fist. Neither boy knowing what to say back to that. 

Hermione was feeling bold. She had been brutally honest with Professor Lupin yesterday and it had worked out! She wondered how long her body would ache from missing his touch or when her legs would stop trying to take her to his quarters. Besides that she was good! He was going to help her with her project and be a better teacher to her. She would take that. None of this could she explain to the slack jaw George or the dark eyed Fred. She may have been a bit too suggestive. 

“Well, I think we should mark this day. I, Hermione Granger, proved the twins don’t have a comeback for everything.” She smiled down at them and chuckled at the thought of rendering them mute. “Thanks for the drink boys. I’m going to get some ice.” 

Hermione drank her one drink out of House unity. Now that more people were talking to her again, Lav and Pav, had even apologized for being so thick about it, it was easier to be in the common room. However, the girl still only had so much social capital to spend and after the one drink she was at her wits end. She quietly grabbed a small bag she had stashed and headed for the library. 

Walking in felt like walking into a bee hive. Every set of eyes followed her and glared at her. She tried to find a table or desk to work at, but everywhere she went a Ravenclaw already sat occupying the space. She asked to the share a table with Anthony Goldstein, but he told her he didn’t share tables with dirty cheaters. 

Hermione walked back towards the front to leave when she saw Padma in the stacks. 

“Padma, what the hell?” Hermione stormed up to her.

“Excuse me?” Padma matched her tone. 

“What is going on? I study with you guys all the time and what, one match lost, that I didn’t even go to by the way, and I’m outcasted?” Hermione was livid. She just got through six weeks of bullying she did not want to go through that again. 

“A match you may not have gone to, but still helped Harry cheat to win at!” Padma was pointing her finger at Hermione’s chest even in their close proximity. 

“What are you talking about?” Hermione was actually confused. How in the world would she even know how to help Harry cheat at Quidditch?

“He performed that spell. It distracted our team’s seaker and that’s how Harry won. No doubt you taught it to him.” Padma looked proud of herself for having figured it out and being the one to call out her classmate. 

“Harry used the spell to get rid of the dementors who won’t leave him alone. And I didn’t teach it to him a teacher did!” Padma lost her boldness. She would have never been outwardly mean to Hermione if she didn’t think she had done something wrong. 

“We just assumed…I’m sorry, Hermione!” Padma tried to walk towards her. 

“Oh, forget it. It doesn’t matter.” Hermione turned on her heel and stalked out of the library. 

She was angry. Fuming. Seething. Did any of her classmates bother to ever get anyone else’s side of the story, namely hers, before they engaged in group bullying? Was Hogwarts teaching a class on how to organize the whole House against someone? As she thought about the ways she would love to ask Professor Dumbledore if he actually even liked kids given what he allows to go on here she didn’t realize she had reached the steps and she fell. 

Miraculously, she wasn’t hurt. She had some pretty nasty bruises, but nothing broken or sprained. And she laid there. Staring up at the ceiling wondering how her life had come to the point where she was laying on the floor of her school, having been harassed out the library, not speaking to one of her best friends while the other plays referee, got together and broke up, maybe, with a professor, and was jumping time in all of this just to take a couple extra classes. 

“Hermione? What the hell?” She heard heavy footsteps running towards her. 

Then his face was in front of hers. Standing above her Professor Lupin looked down with a face that told her he was incredibly alarmed by her position on the floor. Taking stock of how she must look with one leg bent back, her leggings ripped on one knee, sweatshirt up around her chest, and hair all around she agreed his shock was justified. She went to sit up. 

“No, wait. Don’t move. Did you fall? Let me check you.” Professor Lupin crouched down next to her and went to check her bones, but she swatted away his wand. 

“I’m fine, stop.” She mumbled as she sat up. “I fell down the fucking steps.” 

“Language, Miss Granger.” Professor Lupin still looked concern that she could be seriously injured, but he could help the laugh at her misplaced anger. “What are you actually mad about? I know it’s not the stairs.”

He actually recoiled from her glare. 

“Okay, we’re mad at the stairs. Let me help you.” He grabbed her around the waist to help her stand. While he really did only mean to help her up from the floor as soon as her feet were solidly on the ground all their senses returned. Hermione could feel the heat from his skin sink into her bare waist as his fingers splayed out on her ribs. Her mind flashing back to that night where his hand had cupped the same breast it now sat under as she rode him to orgasm. 

Professor Lupin thought he could feel the sweatshirt falling back down trying to cover his arm. The only thing his brain would allow him to feel was her smooth skin. The underside of her perfectly perky tit pushed up by his thumb. The lace of her bra. How she felt so small in his arm, yet he knew she had all the power. 

Like they were reading each others thoughts they stepped apart at the same time. 

“So, what had you so mad at the steps?” Professor Lupin stuck his hands in his pockets. 

“Oh, you know a bit of this and that. Well, it turns out Harry’s little wand work at today’s match is being seen as cheating.” Hermione waved her hand in the air. 

“That’s prosperous!” 

“Okay, down boy. No one’s coming for your Chosen One,” Hermione didn’t give him time to respond as she pushed on, “no one official has deemed it cheating.” 

“Right. Okay.” Professor Lupin scratched his head and calmed himself realizing she was joking. A move that all boys must do for their whole lives, Hermione thought. 

“Anyway, the Ravenclaws all thought I was the one who taught it to him, thanks for that, and drove me from the library. If nothing else I’m really helping inner house unity this year.” Hermione was leaning against the wall looking at her DADA professor, talking to him like a friend. 

“20 points to Gryfinndor.” That cheeky grin appeared. She couldn’t help the laugh as she knew somewhere red rubies were falling into their house phial. 

“Well, anyway. I’m looking for a place to study now. If I don’t stay ahead my reading really piles up and I can’t have a repeat of last term! I mean I have 300 pages to read and there’s practically a riot happening in the common room!” Hermione had started on a tangent. 

“Hermione,” his calm voice, “come on. I was going to grade papers in my office anyway. You can set up on the couch.” 

“Really? That would be helpful. If you think… well you know.” Hermione’s eyes darted to the side. She knew they were working towards being okay, but she wasn’t naive enough to think that would happen literally over night. 

“Yes, yes I’m sure. Come on.” Professor Lupin spun around and walked towards his office. 

They got to the office without conversation and Lupin had barely finished motioning towards the sofa that Hermione was so familiar with when she already her books opened to the pages she needed and her notebooks ready to be written in. 

The first hour passed in easy silence. The only sounds being the scratch of a quill and the turning of pages. At one point Lupin got up from his seat and walked about the room. He walked by Hermione’s claimed territory and laid half a chocolate bar down on her notes. She flicked her eyes up at him, but he had already returned to his grading. 

In the third hour afternoon tea arrived and he brought her a cup of tea. Exactly how she liked it. She said thank you to his back and went back to her work. Some time after that Hermione came across a term she had never heard of and didn’t have a reference for it. She got and nervously approached his desk. He had come by her sofa twice she should be able to go up to him. Walking around behind his desk he looked up at her kindly. She showed him the book and the term with confusion on her face, but wordlessly. 

“Ah.” Lupin got up and grabbed a book from the shelf behind him. She perked up at having the answer without having to delay her studies and made her way back to the sofa. 

Some time later, after the sun had set, she heard him laugh out loud. She raised an eyebrow at him and he walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her showing her an answer from a sixth year. Hermione couldn’t help the snort and quickly covered her mouth to suppress what she suspected was an ugly laugh coming.

“I wish them luck with that pursuit.” She managed to get out. Apparently this student had read the same material she had and answered a question about surviving a werewolf attack by saying they would make the wolf trust them so as not to get attacked in the first place. 

She was still letting out huffs of laughter and he was grinning at her while looking down at the paper again. After a few minutes her laughing had stopped and she stared back at him. His green eyes had joy in them from the laughter they had shared. Her knees were touching the middle of his leg and she realized that he had sat down in a way you would if you were comfortable with someone. 

“You are having fun.” Hermione stated. 

“Yes, of course. I always have fun with you.” He said it like she should have known that already. 

“Not that kind of fun.” She rolled her eyes, but smiled at him anyway. 

“I know what kind of fun you mean. I just don’t know why you’re surprised.” He cocked his head to the side. When she didn’t answer right away he moved his eyebrows together and apart searching her face.

“It’s just that… I never thought you did. I never thought you would have fun with me the way you do the boys.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders and went back to her book. 

From her side she could see him nodding his head and scrunching his eyebrows together. He was working something out in there. 

“In the beginning I told you I knew more than you when it comes to certain things.” He started, but didn’t finish the thought. 

“Yes, but I believe that, Sir.” Hermione was cautious. They had a great day and entering this conversation so fresh off of yesterdays would only be pouring salt in the wounds. 

“But I should have listened to you on others. Like how no one would think twice if you, Hermione Swot Granger, stayed behind to work with me.”

“Yes.” 

“That I knew this castle at one time, but you know this castle now. Where people are, where they’ll be. Which stacks they won’t be looking down or dark hallways they aren’t lurking in.”

“Yes.” 

“The boys get to openly have fun with me. Anywhere. I left you out.”

“Yes.” Hermione turned her body towards his tossing her book to the side. She couldn’t help it; she reached out and put her hand on his arm. She wished he would look at her. 

“I’m not saying I think we should-“

“No.” Hermione agreed with him. They couldn’t move backwards. Her hand stayed on his arm. “What made you, I mean, I’m happy that you’re saying all this, but I don’t understand.” 

“It was the tea.” He finally looked at her. Smiling. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Hermione kept the smile on her face. She was determined to keep this conversation friendly even if it was painfully done. It seemed he was too. 

“When I gave you the tea. I saw the surprise on your face that I know the way you take it. That I gave it to you in the first place. It just sort of hit me. I don’t think I have ever done something thoughtful, or basic decency, without you being in a crisis first.” He leaned back against the sofa. Head on the back, looking up at the ceiling. 

“Thank you.” 

“For what?” Lupin look scandalized. She was thanking him? 

“For saying all that. I know it wasn’t easy. I know we want to move forward and not having to keep talking about how this imploded. I think we can now. Do you?” Hermione was holding his hand running her thumb up and down his knuckles. 

“I do. You deserve to hear people apologize to you when they fuck up. I’m sorry, Hermione.” He lifted his head to look at her. For a moment they just stared at each other. Hermione’s eye shifting ever so slightly to look behind him. 

“Holy shit it’s 1 am!” 

“What? No, it’s not. Fuck.” Professor Lupin swore. Hermione wish he hadn’t done that. Surely, it wasn’t normal to get this turned on by a man saying a curse word. He stopped what he was doing. 

“Hermione, do you want me to ignore that?” She had to see his eyes. The way they got dark and his fingers started folding and unfolding. 

“I don’t know, Sir.” Hermione moved closer to him. 

“Are you confused?” He was being his normal soft self with her now. She nodded her head in the affirmative. “Then for tonight I’m going to ignore it.” 

After a moments pause where Hermione had to bite back every retort she had she was able to finally release the breath she had been holding. 

“Are you on patrol tonight?” She asked him. 

“No. Snape and Flitwick.” He was trying to keep up with the shift in conversation. She would never know how exhilarated he got by her mind. 

“Okay, I’ll have to get back to the dorms quickly. If Snape sees me…” Hermione was lacing up her trainers. A wave of her wand and her bag was packing itself. 

“I’ll take you.” 

“It’s one in the morning, Professor. You don’t have to prove you believe in me right now.” 

“I’ll say I found you. That I already gave you detention and was seeing you went straight back. I am allowed out after curfew you know.” Professor Lupin pulled on a warm cardigan. “If we don’t run in to anyone no problem.” 

Hermione agreed to the plan and they exited his office and classroom checking for patrolling professors or strangely attuned cats. Hermione was just about to let out a sigh of relief when she heard screaming, crying, and overall shouting coming from her common room. The portrait was open and the fat lady was gone again. Walking in she saw the room was in total chaos. 

“Fred, Fred what happen?” Hermione grabbed the twins arm.

“Where have you been all night, love? Ron here is claiming that he saw Sirius Black in his dorm room.” 

“What? That’s impossible.” Hermione went into panic mode. She searched for Professor Lupin, but he was still standing behind her. 

“Professor Lupin! Good of you to be here. This is…I’m sorry, how did you hear so quickly?” Professor McGonagall had looked relieve to have another professor present, but shifted to confused quickly. 

“I didn’t, Professor. In fact, I was sadly out for a walk when I stumbled upon Miss Granger here walking about.” Professor Lupin pointed towards her. 

“I wasn’t walking about. I was doing class work and lost track of time.” Hermione looked to her Head of House trying to defend herself. 

“Hermione, just for tonight, I need you to accept the detention with Professor Lupin and move on, please.” Professor McGonagall looked like if one more thing happened she might break. 

Before she could answer Neville had walked down the stairs. The last boy to leave the dormitory. 

“Oi, Neville! Where you been then?” Dean Thomas yelled for him. 
Something wasn’t right. Neville was pale. Beyond pale, he looked like he was going to be sick. He was sweating. More than all that, he was shaking. Violently. He was terrified. 

“Mr. Longbottom? Ron is saying that he saw Sirius Black in the dorm. Every one is saying it was a bad dream…” Professor McGonagall for the first time since becoming a teacher was cut off. 

“It wasn’t a dream, Professor. I saw him.” Neville looked at his Head of House who tried to comfort the boy while also looking terrified. 

Fearful gasps escaped across the room. Hermione couldn’t help but look back at Professor Lupin. But the man who was standing behind her wasn’t her Professor. He was the other one. The cold, distant, murderous, avenge your best friends, one. Professor McGonagall called for everyone to get back to their dorms and do their best to sleep. Hermione awkwardly walked by Lupin, swiping her hand against his, as she did so. She could see him relax if only by a fraction. 

_____ 

No one spoke at Gryfinndor table. Word had gotten out and it seemed as if there was a mourning hush all over the Hall. Even Dumbledore had appeared at breakfast. They were scared. Even some of the teachers looked scared. Professor McGonagall kept looking at her students as if one was going to fall through the floor or get snatched up by Black at any minute. Hermione had suspected that her tense conversation with the Headmaster had something to do with canceling today’s Hogsmeade trip. He wouldn’t do it. 

Professor Lupin. He still held that murderous look. 

Hermione told Harry that she, and he, wouldn’t be going on the outing today. She said she would tell Professor McGonagall about the damn Marauders map the twins gave him if he insisted on putting his own life on the line. She knew he wouldn’t listen, but when she spotted him in Hogsmeade with Ron he was at least using his invisibility cloak. She got what she needed from the shops and returned to Hogwarts as quickly as possible. 

After going to her dorm to change into more comfortable clothing and not her bulky winter gear  she grabbed her school stuff and made her way to the DADA classroom. How she knew the lights would be on and the door open she could never guess, but looking in she saw his office door was open and she sped ahead. Bounding up the stairs she reached the doorway and stopped to look at him. He was watching her from behind his desk. Probably saw her come up the stairs. Just looking at her. He had a mix of sadness and relief on his face. 

“Professor, I’m sorry to barge in like this-“ 

“Hermione, I’m glad you did. I thought you weren’t going to Hogsmeade today?” He stood up and came around to the front of his desk as she perched herself on the arm of the sofa. She sat the brown bag she had down and folded her hands in her lap. 

“I wasn’t going to. I told Harry not to go. He’s so thick in the head sometimes I swear.” Hermione’s temper was flaring. 

“So you did the math and thought, yeah the best thing to do is go and put myself in harms way as Harry puts himself in harms way?” Professor Lupin wouldn’t break eye contact with her. 

“I, I didn’t think about it like that.” Hermione murmured. 

“Well, I did.” The air grew uncomfortable. It seemed no matter what they did it always came back to the fact that their feelings couldn’t be contained. She couldn’t stay away from him and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. 

“I know how Black got into the dorm room.” A change of topic would do them both good. Apparently, this deduction surprised even Lupin because he didn’t do anything but open and close his mouth a few times before speaking. 

“I’m impressed. How?” She loved that he always wanted the information. He didn’t just act on impulse. Which, given his lycanthropy, was admirable. 

“Neville was given a list of passwords the other day. Before we had Herbology. I asked him for it this morning. He couldn’t find it. Black was able to get it from the green houses. How he knew Neville would be the one to lose it and where I don’t know. I think he was hoping he would lose it there and just got lucky.” Hermione was talking about Neville and Sirius Black, but she was looking at Lupin as if she was accusing him. 

“Hm.” Professor Lupin didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to pull her into this anymore than she was. 

“Sir?” No answer. 

“Professor Lupin. Sirius Black is an animagus. It’s how he’s moving through the wards and getting pass the dementors.” Hermione didn’t ask him. She wasn’t telling him either. She said it like she wanted him to know that now she knew and there was no way to go back from that.

“Professor, oh my god, seriously?” Hermione was trying to get him to engage with her. “Professor Lupin, this is happening. What do we do? We have to tell someone. We-“ 

“We don’t do anything.” Lupin had spun around grabbed Hermione by her shoulders. “We aren’t going to get Sirius Black. We aren’t going to fight him. I will do it.” 

“I can help you. Please, let me help.” Hermione was whispering. She wasn’t afraid of him. She was afraid of being this close to him. 

“No,” His warmth was gone as he went to the sofa and sat down in the middle. “You have no idea what he has already taken from me. If something happen to you I couldn’t… I would never recover.” 

Hermione barely let the words sink into her mind before she was taking steps towards the sofa and straddling him again. The man she had missed so much. Their bodies slotting together for the first time in months. 

Her hands buried in his hair as she pulled his head back to meet her lips with his. He still taste the same. Chocolate and mint. His forest and old book smell took over her remaining senses. Kissing him was like returning home after being somewhere you didn’t want to go. It was like getting a hug even though you swore you didn’t need one. Hermione could feel every nerve light on fire and yet all her anger from the last two months extinguished just as quickly. 

Their tongues moved together. His leading hers in a gentle rolling motion she had learned to crave knowing that it had to lead to more. She broke the kiss long enough to kiss the stubble on his neck. At his pule point where his skin seemed warmer than everywhere else. 

“Hermione.” Lupin groaned. “We shouldn’t” 
“So stop me.” She looked up at him. When no noise came out of his open mouth she sat up straight and took her sweatshirt off. He groaned again as if he was going to protest, but no words came. 

It had been almost two months since he had last seen her. Even then he didn’t see her like this. Black leggings sitting below her belly button. Sweatshirt discarded to the floor somewhere. The only thing covering her was a white lace bra. See through not that it would matter considering how hard her nipples had gotten. In the two months she knew her breast had grown. She had started putting on more weight in the last couple weeks and she could tell puberty had been hitting her hard. 

She leaned down to kiss him again and he let her before he pushed her away from him. She tried her best not to pout at it being over so soon. 

“Take your hair down.” He demanded of her. She did so without objection thanking Parvati Patil for that simple hair charm she sent her over break. Her hair fell down her back, passed her waist, and in front of her covering her tits from his view. He couldn’t have that so he pushed her hair behind her shoulders. 

She leaned back into their kiss and they fell into a rhythm with each other. She wasn’t sure how long it was before she could feel the familiar ache building in her. She hadn’t moved her hips once. She didn’t want to scare him. Even with the lack of movement she could feel his cock begin to harden under her core. He had to know that when he got that hard she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. 

“Please, Professor, touch me.” She looked him the eyes and thought for a second it must be a mirror. His eyes were half shut from lust as well and his cheeks were flushed. 

“Hermione.” He was warning her. She grabbed his hand and ran it up her torso until she reached her breast. He would have to move the rest of the way himself. 

And he did. He ran his thumb delicately over the lace once and then harder the second time. On the third pass he stopped to rub his rough digit around her sensitive nipple causing her to moan and her breath to hitch. She crashed her lips back to his. He continued to massage and tweak her nipples and breast moving from one to the other. Suddenly, he put both of his hands on her upper back and brought her towards him. Her chest was level with his face and she felt him pull down the cups of her bra. 

A feeling unlike any other took over her body and the loud moan tore its way from her lips. He put his mouth around her right nipple allowing his tongue to swipe around it while gently sucking it. His other hand continued its massage on the left. Hermione has never felt him so hard beneath her. She couldn’t help it. She started to rolled her hips on him rubbing her clit through her thin leggings on his hard cock. It was the first time Hermione thought she wanted it to be out of its confines. 

Her moans were coming in quick succession. She knew if this kept up she would cum soon. Lupin had moved on to the left nipple and was using his left hand to grip her hips as Hermione worked herself over on him. 

“You smell so good, Pet. The sweetest secret.” He had taken a moment from worshipping her nipples to whisper in her ear. The warm breath doing something to her already spotty breathing patterns. 

Hermione found she couldn’t respond as she pushed his head back to her pink wet nipples. She needed him. When his mouth found one and the hand the other. She let herself go completely. 

She moved faster and tried to rub herself along his whole length. She didn’t remember him moaning this much during their New Year tryst, but after one particularly rasped fuck where he gripped her sides and took her nipple back into his mouth she felt herself fall over the edge. 

“Oh, god, I think, I,  I’m, Professor.” After that she only remembers her desperate moans. Even in the midst of cumming on him she could hear herself begging him for more of him. Her legs tense around him as her mind emptied of everything except how good she felt. How good it felt to be right where she was with him. As she came down her lips found his again. 

He held her as she slowed her hip movements. When she came to a complete stop he cradled her down on to the sofa. Her leggings were black so any indication of her enjoyment wasn’t noticeable, same with his dark trousers he was disappointed to see, but he could smell the fresh wetness her orgasm had produced. The top of her leggings had bunched down around her hips so her whole stomach was exposed. Soft and tan. She made no move to close her legs or put her breast back in the bra cups he had pulled down. Hermione laid there looking up at her professor. Her hair splayed out behind her and her lips red and swollen. Patches of her skin were red and raw from where his stubble had rubbed against her. 

“Orgasms are almost as good as grades.” She smiled up at him. 

“Cheeky girl.” He sat and rubbed her legs. Hermione could still see his erection through his trousers. She sat up and scoot forward. Locking eyes with him she ran her hand through his hair. They kissed. Slowly this time. Equally as slowly she put her small hand over his trousers where her hot core had just been. She could feel the dampness and his hard length. 

“Hermione, don’t.” Professor Lupin grabbed her wrist and went to move her hand off of his throbbing dick. Feeling her fingers try to surround the length of him nearly made him go mad from desire, but it had already gone far enough tonight. 

“Please? You make me feel so good. I want to do that for you. I want this for you.” Hermione spoke quietly against his mouth. She had her fingers on his zipper and slowly brought it down. He let out a breath at how good it felt to not be so trapped.

“You have no idea how badly I want that too, love. I just don’t want you to do too much at once.” 

“Okay. I understand.” Professor Lupin smiled at his student as he went to zip his trousers back up dreading the pain of confining himself again. 

“Will you show me?” 

Her innocent eyes stared up at him as she asked him to pleasure himself in front of her. She wanted to watch as he wanked himself and came into his hand. 

“Hermione.” He couldn’t help but palm his cock in anticipation. He knew he was going to lose this. 

“I’ll lay back and watch. So you won’t worry I’ll touch you. I’ll keep my hands to myself.” The evil little smirk she gave him let him know that while she wouldn’t touch him she made no promises to not make him lose control watching her. 
Slowly, Professor Lupin undid his zipper further. He popped the top button and took a second to enjoy his cock not pressing up against the fabric. He opened his pants up and lifted his hips a bit while pulling the fabric of his trousers and boxers down. 

“Are you sure?” He looked at Hermione for confirmation again. Her eyes were already half close with lust again as she nodded her head. He pulled the garments down to his mid-thigh. 

Hermione had never seen a penis before. Not up close anyway. In text books sure. She would never tell anyone, but she could feel her Dad’s sometimes when he would pull her on his lap to read. And over the summer she walked in on Fred at the Leaky Cauldron having a wank. He had his back to her as he sat at the desk chair in his room. She should have knocked. Hermione wasn’t embarrassed about these things as the textbooks said they were normal human anatomy and biological needs. She was embarrassed by how long it took her to walk away from watching Fred’s arm tense as his hand moved up and down and his head would roll back and side to side. 

But Professor Lupin’s was something else. As he pulled his trousers down Hermione watched every movement his cock made. The way it bounced up and stood straight enough it was coming back to touch his stomach. How smooth the skin was. She had reached out to touch it, but when he looked over at her she dropped her hand to her inner thigh and rubbed her leg slowly. Watching as pearly liquid dripped from the top Hermione felt the ache building again. 

Lupin slowly wrapped his hand around the base and tugged a few times. She could tell he wanted to drop his head back, but was keeping his focus on her. In non-rhythmic movements he worked his hand up and down the shaft. His hands were so large and yet two together couldn’t take him fully. She allowed herself to pant without shame as she knew how much he liked that. His wolf senses would be hyper aware and would be able to hear and smell everything. 

He started building into a pattern. One he probably liked and knew would make him cum fast. Hermione needed to feel something. It was too much watching him do this to himself and her just lay there. She stuck two fingers, the same two fingers she tried all those months ago to get herself off with, in her mouth to wet them. 

“Fuck, Hermione.” He was watching her. He liked what she was doing. She opened her mouth wider so he could have a better view of her swirling her tongue around her fingers. When she felt they were covered enough she moved them down to the last nipple he had in his mouth and rubbed it with her spit covered fingers. She wasn’t expecting it to feel so good and let out an unexpected moan quickly followed by a deep breath while grabbing her other tit with her unoccupied hand. 

She moved her fingers faster or pinched her nipples harder. She could feel her pussy clenching around nothing and her clit throbbing for attention. Without thinking she stuck her fingers back her mouth to moisten them again before thrusting them down into leggings. She found her clit quickly, mostly from practice, and tried to find a rhythm and pattern she liked. She tried her best to keep her eyes open, but she didn’t know where to look. She watched as Lupin moved his hand. She wanted his hands back on her body, but she knew he wouldn’t touch her again. 

“Please, Professor, faster?” God the sounds he made. He moved his hand faster up and down his cock. The tip red and shiny from the leaking fluid. 

“Hermione. Fuck. You’re so beautiful. I can’t last much longer.” She saw him drop his head back as his hand went even faster and dripped harder around himself. She made a note to ask him later why that didn’t hurt. She committed all his moans and the way he cursed to memory to use later in the shower. And he watched as his cum shot out of his dick and landed in his hand and on his stomach. It was incredible. 

Hermione removed her hand from her pants knowing she wasn’t going to get anywhere and felt satisfied that Professor Lupin had gotten to experience something tonight. They both came back down to earth, into their bodies, and on the sofa in the DADA office. 

“Is it always like that?” She got up on her knees to get closer to him. His laugh was so tired, but so sweet. 

“It could be I suppose.” He lifted his hips to pull his trousers back up. “I can’t believe I’m going to say such a thing, but I need you to right that before you drive me to madness again.” He was pointing at her white bra. 

“Well, if that’s the case I don't think I will.” She leaned in and kiss him, but he could feel her putting her breast away. She was still kissing him. 

“Professor Lupin!” Professor Snape’s voice bellowed out harshly. Hermione practically screamed bloody murder except Lupin gripped his hand over her mouth. 

“Yes, Professor Snape? It’s late.” Professor Lupin didn’t have to sound annoyed. He was livid. It didn’t matter that they were sitting in a position they couldn’t be seen. 

“I have just apprehended Potter with a dark artifact. Please come immediately.” 

Hermione stared at him with his hand over her mouth. He released it slowly and leaned forward to check that Snape was in fact gone from his Floo. 

“You know one day you’ll roll your eyes so hard at him they’ll get stuck in the back of your head. And then what will you do?” 

“Beats having to look at him.” Lupin pouted from his spot on the couch. 

“Will you two grow up, I swear.”

“I will if he will.” Hermione just shook her head and smiled at the man in front of her. 

“You should go. Here.” She quickly performed a cleaning charm over him so his cum stains were removed and he looked presentable. “It’s after curfew again. I’m going to pack up and slip out. If you’re with Snape now it’s less likely he’ll catch me.” 

“Mrs. Norris?”

“Eh, she’s taking a liking to me since getting Crooks.” Hermione shrugged before stretching and yawning.  “I’m exhausted. You need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow in class.” 

Professor Lupin looked down at the girl who did look exhausted, but her smile at him was so bright he hated Snape a bit more for making him leave her. 

“Hermione, we should talk. I don’t want you to think I used you.”

“We will. It seems we can find a way if we want to. I know, if you want to, you’ll find a way.” She pulled his hand down for a quick kiss before turning around and grabbing her sweatshirt off the floor. 

“Yes, I will. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He called out Professor Snape’s office and was gone in green flames. 

Except he didn’t see her tomorrow. He saw her that night when he returned more pissed at Harry than he had ever been at James. He couldn’t believe how reckless the boy was! He knew, Dumbledore told him, he was brave and strong willed, but gambling with ones life? No. And this stupid map he helped the boys make back in the day. Well the map was brilliant actually. It couldn’t be that Harry saw Peter Pettigrew. 

As he stepped through the flames back into his office. The first things he saw were Hermione’s books still laying across the table. The next thing were toes hanging over the edge of the sofa. 

Hermione, sat in the middle of the sofa, holding a piece of parchment. Sobbing. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Spring 

Hermione didn’t know how long she had been sitting on the sofa crying. Her only measure of time was from the moment the owl pecked on the window to the second Professor Lupin wrapped his arms around her. Once his body warmth encircled her she came back to herself. Her legs had gone numb from sitting in one position for too long. Her head was pounding from all the crying. Her hand was still clutching to the delivered letter. The same hand was bleeding from the bite of the owl who didn’t receive a treat. Blood droplets littered the floor. 

Without speaking Lupin pulled the letter from her hands. 

Hermione, 

We lost. Buckbeak will be executed…

He read the whole note from Hagrid. He knew how hard she had worked to help him win this case. He placed the letter down on her unpacked books and brought her small frame as close to his as he could. He wanted to say something. He had to do something. This was the first time the young witch was crying in front of him and he wasn’t involved somehow. Yet, this is also the time his brain decides he isn’t capable of speaking. 

“Hermione…” Lupin thought if he started saying something the rest would come. Turned out it wasn’t necessary. 

“Please, don’t. I can’t talk about this right now.” Hermione had shut her eyes and leaned her head further into his neck. She was taking deep breaths allowing his comforting aroma to lull her to peace. She didn’t want to think about Buckbeak. Or how devastated Hagrid must be right now. Or how she had failed at helping appeal his case. She knew that Malfoy’s dad had stacked the deck, but actually reading the verdict? It was too much. 

At some point while wrapped up in his warm embrace Hermione must have fallen asleep. When she woke up the sky was light purple. The sun would be up within the hour and the castle was probably already stirring to life. When her eyesight returned fully she looked around found herself laying on the same sofa she was sitting on the night before. A blanket over her that was the same color cream as a favorite cardigan of her DADA professor’s. She found that man right next to her as she had been using his lap as a pillow. His head was lying on the back of the sofa and she couldn’t help but think of the crick that would cause him. His whole body was open though. Left arm was still flung around her body. The right laid at his side. His legs were slightly parted and he still had his shoes on. 

Hermione looked into the man’s face. The scars shined silver in the twinkling light coming in from the sky. His hair was looking extra shaggy. Hermione had to swallow a giggle at his stubble. It looked like he was actually trying to grow a beard. He must shave every day and get one hell of a 5 o’clock shadow. She couldn’t help but run her finger tips over it lightly and trace a scar up his cheek. 

“Miss. Granger, I do believe it’s a bit early to be trying to bribe a better grade out of me.” His voice was raspy with sleep. 

“Sorry, Professor. Couldn’t help myself. I think your handsome face has imperio’ed me and is making me quite amenable to anything you should wish.” Hermione went to lay back over his lap when he shot his arm out and caught her before she could fully extend herself. 

“Sorry, Pet. We don’t want to make any situations harder.” He smiled down at her. 

“Harder, Sir?” Hermione scrunched up her eyebrows and looked down where she had attempted to lay her body. How she hadn’t noticed it before was truly outstanding, but right there was a clear erection. “Really, Professor Lupin? The puns? At this hour?” 

“Not intentional believe me.” He had the decency to grimace. “Just give me a second.” 

He sat her body up and away from him. It sounded like fabric rustling around, but she couldn’t be sure. He dropped his hand from its place on her back and she turned to look at him only glancing down for a second. She fixed her face and looked at him. 

“What?” Professor Lupin was blushing. 

“Are you, Sir, are you embarrassed?” Hermione bit her lip and tried to keep the laughter out of her eyes. 

“Well, yes. It’s not every day I get to wake up to a beautiful witch in my bed, or sofa, and the last thing I want to do is shove my dick in her face.” Professor Lupin looked exacerbated. 

“In the interest of time and us both running on very little sleep I’ll keep my retort to myself.” Hermione sat up all the way and stretched. She could feel her bones popping from her night spent on the couch. 

“Hermione, about last night-“ Lupin started out, but was cut off. 

“Yes! What happen with Harry?” Hermione had turned to look at him bringing one leg up to rest her face on her knee. 

“That. Right, well he had a map that shows everyone’s location in the castle.” 

“He’s had that for ages. Guess he got caught.” Hermione shrugged. 

“You knew about it?” The same anger from last night was welling up inside him again. 

“Well, yeah.” Hermione shrugged again. “Is this what he was in trouble for?” 

“You three, I swear on my life. Okay, I’ll tell you the same thing I told him. The map is not a toy. One piece of lost parchment and Black was in your dormitory. What do you think he would do if he got ahold of this map?” Lupin raised an eyebrow at her while beckoning her to answer him. 

“I, well he wouldn’t, I didn’t think of that.” Hermione looked down guilty for having not thought of that. 

“So, again, you watch after Harry while not thinking of yourself and then don’t know why I get enraged at your carelessness. You two, you three, are so careless with your lives.” She could tell he was fighting the urge to get up and pace and pointed his finger at her. Then he took a deep breath and seemed to calm himself.  

“I think we should talk about last night.” 

“I don’t think we should.” She started to say. Seeing the worry on his face she put her hand on his arm. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it or pretend it didn’t happen. It’s just that, okay, things go well, we get going on full speed, we fight, we don’t talk. I was thinking maybe this time we could hit pause? Think for a little bit before we talk about this. And really think. Like what do you want? Not what you think I want. What do you want?” Hermione looked at him with hope in her eyes. Hope that he would see reason in this. 

“God, witch, you are something else. Yes, okay. Let’s do that. Office hours on Friday as usual?” 

Hermione nodded her head vigorously. She quickly packed her stuff up and got back to her dorms. She knew there was only so many times she would make it back without being caught, but she was happy this morning was one of them. 

She quickly got changed and fixed herself up in the bathroom. When she came back in Lavender and Parvati were sitting up in bed staring at her. 

“Morning.” Hermione mumbled. It’s not that the girls weren’t speaking they just weren’t talking per se. 

“Where have you been?” Lavender glared at her. Well, shit. Hermione didn’t think her roommates would have noticed her absence.  

“I’ve been here. I was in the bathroom.” Hermione threw her hand up in the air trying to appear casual. The two Gryfinndor gossip queens would know a lie if it was 100 miles away and flying on a snitch. 

“Hermione. You’ve been out all hours of the night. Coming in insanely late. And if you say you’re studying in the library I’ll lose it. Padma told me about Saturday and the Ravenclaws acting like jerks.” Parvati crossed her arms over her chest daring Hermione to lie to her. 

“Is it a boy?” Lavender inquired. She asked tentatively like she thought Hermione would blow up at her. 

Hermione had no idea what possessed her to nod her head. She thought if the girls couldn’t see her face and just got an affirmative answer they would keep their thoughts to themselves. Hermione was truly foolish. 

“Okay, okay. This is huge. Wait, he’s keeping you out pass curfew. He’s older?” Lavender had gotten up and made her way to the foot of her bed. Parvati was quick behind her. 

“It’s complicated!” Hermione turned aggressively to face them. “Please, you can’t tell anyone. No one can know.” 

“Fine, relax. You practically sprained your foot spinning like that.” Lavender dismissed Hermione’s concerns. “Is it serious? I mean, yeah fine, it’s complicated, but is it serious?” 

“It’s seriously complicated.” Hermione grumbled. 

“And it’s a total secret?” Parvati leaned forward as if they were all in conspiracy together. 

“I don’t know. There really isn’t anything to tell you guys. No one knows anything, but there isn’t anything to know.” Hermione went back to avoiding eye contact. She can’t believe how stupid she had been. This was going to be impossible to get out. 

“How far have you guys gotten?” Lavender wiggled her eyebrows at her. 

“Lavender, holy hell, it’s 8am.” Parvati pushed her friends shoulder. Her scolding the blonde didn’t stop her from looking at Hermione that told her she was clearly waiting for an answer. 

“I’m not sure? How far is far?” Hermione perched on her bed to ask the girls the questions she couldn’t ask anyone else. 

“I guess it depends on what you’re comfortable with.” Lavender shrugged at her again. 

“I let Seamus finger me during the last Ravenclaw match.” Parvati kept her face straight. 

The other two girls gawked at the most beautiful girl in their year. Hermione didn’t want to admit she wasn’t entirely sure what that was. 

“What? Was I suppose to watch?” Parvati studied her nails. 

“Okay, I’m processing this.” Lavender was slowly nodding her head. 

“He’s better than Ernie Macmillan.” Parvati narrowed her eyes at her best friend.

“Parvati!” “Lavender!” Lavender and Hermione screamed at the same time.  

“Putting aside that I told you that in confidence, yes. I have been somewhat, and I do stress, somewhat seeing Ernie. Who isn’t with Hannah anymore!” Lavender spoke to the room. 

“I’m sorry is everyone in our year having…sex?” Hermione whispered the last word. 

“God, Hermione no! Everything else? Now that’s another thing.” Pav and Lav let out their signature giggle. 

“And can I ask, and you don’t have to answer, what is everything else?” Hermione felt like her face was on fire from the blush that bloomed up her neck. 

“I…” Lavender seemed to start a sentence a few times. “This is not what I expected on a bloody Monday morning.” 

The girls sat there and explained to Hermione everything that they knew every one in their year was doing. Hermione walked out of the room completely shocked. She knew some of these things because of her interactions with Lupin, but the others… The places people put their mouths. And fingers? Except the girls seemed beyond giddy when they were talking about it. She hadn’t many more questions as she didn’t want to seem completely unaware of how it all worked. She had ended the conversation when they started asking if the guy she was seeing was pressuring her. She said no he couldn’t be because he really didn’t exist. They rolled their eyes as if they expected it. 

When Hermione entered the Hall the first thing she felt was a deep wave of shame. She looked at Harry and Ron sitting at the table, eating and laughing. While she had been upstairs talking about blowjobs and fingering; Buckbeak was going to be executed. How could she be so vapid and get distracted like that? 

Ron still wasn’t really talking to her so when she approached the table he gave her a hard look and went back to his plate. She handed Harry the letter. 

“How is this possible?!” Harry practically jumped from his seat. He handed the letter over to Ron as Hermione sat down. She poured herself a cup of coffee as she watched Ron’s temper flair. His whole face turning red. 

“This is bullshit! We have to do something. Hermione, what can we do?” Ron looked at her in earnest. 

She felt the tears well in her eyes again. For the sweet heart that she knew Ron really did have under it all. For the click that she felt with the three of them reconnecting in that moment. She also let the tears come for her own selfish behavior. Thinking of sexual activities with her Professor when Hagrid, her friend, was suffering. 

Ron patted Hermione’s hand awkwardly trying to soothe her. It was nothing like the strong embrace Professor Lupin held her in or the soft strokes he would make with his fingers. Ron was clumsy and half sincere in his attempts. She accepted them anyway with a small smile. 

As they headed out to Care of Magical Creatures Hermione was determined to be there for Hagrid today. They barely got through class as he was such a wreck. He couldn’t stop crying and waxing poetic about all the creatures the Ministry didn’t understand. The class, even Hermione, was thankful when he dismissed 30 minutes early. 

As they headed back up to the castle to kill time before Charms the trio found themselves behind Malfoy and his two dimwits. Malfoy was saying the vilest things about Hagrid and making fun of him crying over his stupid half brain animals. 

“At least he has a heart to care about things, Malfoy.” Hermione spat out at him. She was still feeling guilt about this morning and she figured Malfoy would deserve her wrath in some way or another. 

“Easy to care about anything when you’re too simple to know when to stop.” Malfoy threw back over his shoulder. 

“And what’s that suppose to mean exactly?” Hermione wanted a fight. 

“Hermione, come on he’s not worth it.” Harry was pulling her in a different direction. 

At the top of the hill Malfoy turned on Hermione and the boys. Hermione wasn’t afraid of him and it was obvious that surprised him. 

“It means if that oaf had any brains rattling around in that musty head of his he would know when something was a lost cause, but then again considering he spends so much time with you I would say that’s one lesson he’ll never learn. Pity.” Malfoy smirked at her. 

“That’s the best you can do? Malfoy does it bother you that every one laughs at you? You think you’re so tough. The Slytherin Prince. One day they’ll all see what I see - a sad little boy on the verge of pissing his pants at any moment.” Hermione shrugged one shoulder as she let a sarcastic smile play on her lips. 

Malfoy was just staring at her. The smile fell off her face. Hermione had never been afraid of him, but there was something in his eyes. Something she hadn’t really seen before. He leaned in very close to her. 

“Did you ever think that maybe if you were as smart as me you would be afraid too? If you knew what I knew.” 

“What’s that mean?” 

“Brightest Bitch of her Age and you only ask one question. Fuck.” Malfoy rolled his eyes, “Oh Granger, the things I could do to you-“

Crack. 

Hermione’s mouth fell open in shock. Harry and Ron jumped back. It wasn’t until Malfoy doubled over in a groan that Crabbe and Goyle reacted. 

“Forget it, boys. Let’s go.” He stood up and Hermione could see all the blood pouring down his face from how forceful she punched him in the nose. 

“Malfoy” Hermione felt the shame start to trickle back in. She should apologize. Punching someone was uncalled for no matter how good it felt. Before she could say anything else he had turned and walked back into the castle. 

The boys grabbed her arms and pushed her inside. 

“Hermione, that was bloody brilliant.” Ron was smiling from ear to ear. 

“It’s not funny, Ron. I could be expelled.” Hermione felt shaky and queasy. 

“Ah.” Ron threw his hands up in the air in mock care. 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. I’ll see you in Charms.” Hermione waved the boys off as she stepped into the bathroom and warded the door shut. Technically, you weren’t suppose to do that, but she needed a minute. 

Hermione went over to the mirror and stared at herself. What was she doing? Putting gossip and sex talk before a friend and the life of an innocent creature? Punching Malfoy? It wasn’t like she punched Mrs. Weasley, but still. Getting physically violent with someone was so low. She ran the cold water and soaked a few towels before applying them to her neck and wiping one along her face. She needed to get it together. Finals were around the corner and if she didn’t have it sorted she would fail everything. 

After she felt composed enough she exited the hallway hoping that Harry and Ron would be in class or waiting somewhere besides this hallway. Seeing the vacated corridor she walked out and made her way to the Charms hall. Just as she was about ten feet from the corner Malfoy turned around the stone. He had cleaned the blood off his face and shirt. 

“Malfoy.” Hermione stood in his path. He deserved an apology. 

“Sod off, Granger.” Malfoy went to move around her, but she grabbed his arm. 

“I’m sorry. For punching you like that. It was completely uncivilized.” Hermione held his arm to keep him in place and tried to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t give in. 

“Well, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” Malfoy attempted to walk off again, but Hermione stood firm in front of him and with her hand wrapped around his arm. 

“I can ignore that in my efforts to atone. At least I didn’t break your nose.” 

“You did break it.” At that he looked at her. Expressionless.

“What? But you wouldn’t have had time to go to Madam Pomfrey. I watched you go down to the dungeons.” Hermione took a step closer to him, much too close to him, looking into face. 

“I fixed it.” He deadpanned. 

“You fixed it.” She said the words as if she was trying them on. “You fixed it yourself. You fixed it?”

“Was one of those a questions? Yes, I fixed it.” Hermione had never seen Malfoy’s, let alone anyone’s, face so closed off. There was no emotion there. 

“But, Malfoy! That’s way beyond our level. Healing spells aren’t even on the OWLs because fifth years don’t know them. They only come up on the NEWTs when students want to become healers.” Hermione was still crowding his space. She was trying to search his eyes, but there was nothing there. 

“Listen, I know the spell. I used the spell. Are we done here?” Malfoy stared back at her just as hard. He could hear the gears turning over in her head. 

“Malfoy, 13 year olds shouldn’t know how to use healing spells to fix major bones. The face being considered a major bone.” Hermione was looking at him for answers to another question. Her one hand was still wrapped around his arm and she brought the other up to rest on his shoulder. If possible she got even closer. “And to be that proficient at them…Draco-“ 

“Leave it, Granger.” He tried to make his voice as cold as possible. To scare her. At the moment he was about to rip himself away he heard a giggle from down the hall. They both turned. 

“Don’t mind me.” Parvati Patil was eyeing them as she walked into the bathroom Granger had just come out of. 

“Fucking Parvati.” Hermione mumbled under her breath. “Listen, Malfoy if you ever want-“

“Oh fuck off, Mudblood.” With that he ripped himself away from her and began to walk away. 

“Draco,” He stopped, but wouldn’t turn to face her. “Who’s your boggart?” 

Hermione watched as her tormentor took a breath in and continued walking away from her. 

She needed to focus. Her mind had been everywhere else besides school. Buckbeak. Ron. Harry. Professor Lupin. Sex with Professor Lupin. No, focus Hermione. 

Next thing she knew Harry was waking her up from her table in the study room in the Charms hall. She had forgotten to go to Charms. She had fallen asleep and had forgotten to use the time turner and go to Charms. The one thing that was suppose to be the most important part of this year and she messed it up. If Professor McGonagall found out she would be so disappointed. 

The rest of the day Hermione devoted herself to getting everything right. She would fully participate in class and redo her schedule that evening to make sure she was meticulous. She wanted to eat a fast dinner so she could get right back to her studies. 

“Hermione, uh, sorry, but Professor Lupin found out you punched Malfoy this morning. He told me to tell you to come to his office. I think he’s calling in one of those detentions.” Dean Thomas told her right before she got up. 

“You know what, Dean Thomas, if he knew what a git Malfoy really was he would throw me a party!” Hermione was livid and poking Dean in the chest. 

“I’m with you. I’m a feminist. This is the nineties!” Dean tried to defend himself from the onslaught of anger. 

Hermione threw her bag strap over her head and marched out of the Hall. She proceeded to march all the way to the DADA hall. Her anger fueling her power walking. She could stop running and just spend 5 minutes a day with Malfoy and then go for a walk. Boom, muscles. 

She tried to take some deep breaths before she entered his office, but she was finding it impossible. What she meant to be a knock turned out to be her small fist banging on his office door while she yelled, “Professor!” 

The door opened as it normally did with the soundless spell. Lupin sat at his desk looking like he was being ambushed. The look on his face should have told her that whatever mood she was in he was not equipped to handle it. He too tried to take some deep breaths before engaging. If one of them was mad it usually led to the other getting mad and both we’re suppose to be working on that. 

“You punched Malfoy in the face?” He asked her patiently. 

“Do you know what his boggart is?” She was out of breath. She kept having to push her hair back.

“I do.” 

“Tell me.” Hermione demanded. She almost jumped on his desk the way she approached him. 

“I can’t.” Lupin smiled at her kindly. 

“You can’t or you won’t?” Hermione glared at him. 

“Won’t.” 

Hermione was about to say something when she caught sight of herself in a mirror hanging on the wall. 

“Damnit, I look insane!” She screamed. Her face morphed into one of real concern upon looking at her flushed face, wild hair, and heaving chest that was rising and falling from angry breaths. “I need to calm down.” 

Hermione went and sat on her sofa. She looked over and saw her brown bag was still there from yesterday. Had it really only been yesterday? No wonder she missed Charms today. Time clearly wasn’t her strong suit. Picking it up and unfolding the top she rifled through the top layer of items and pulled out what she needed. Working quickly she popped the sugar quill in her mouth. She let out a moan as the sweet treat coated her tongue and she was able to focus on this one thing. 

“Good?” Lupin had asked her from behind the desk. 

“Yes,” Hermione purred out. “Now, what do I have to do for detention, Sir?” 

She finally opened her eyes enough to look at him and found him already staring at him. 

“I have half a mind to make you eat sugar quills in front of me all night.” Professor Lupin stretched his chest muscles as he leaned back in his chair. 

“Professor, I know I shouldn’t have punched Malfoy I get it. But if this isn’t a real a detention I real need to be getting on. I missed Charms today.” Hermione had taken the sweet out of her mouth and was worrying her lip after telling him she didn’t want to spend time with him tonight. It wasn’t meant as a personal rejection, but she would have taken it as one. 

“You missed a class?” Lupin looked just as upset as her. “Hermione, that’s it, what’s going on? I know it’s been a rough term and last nights news wasn’t easy, but missing class and punching other students? What are you trying to do join a gang?” 

They stared into each others eyes for a minute as Hermione thought of the best way to tell him that the truth is she was so overwhelmed she was drowning. After about three minutes of the silent conversation Lupin got up and sat down next to her. Like her friends would, like he did as her lover last night. 

“Okay, tell me.” He took her hand in his. After a second he summoned a waste bin. “First, throw that out so I can concentrate.” 

Hermione huffed, but did as he asked anyway. She held his large hand in one of hers as she let the other trace the scars up his exposed forearms and run over the smooth hair. 

“I’m doing too much.” 

“Okay, too much course work?” Her professor wasn’t forcing her to look at him, but he kept his eyes on her just in case she wanted to. He could see her eyes moving back and forth the way they did when she was combatting with herself. 

“I want to tell you something. Something I’m not suppose to tell anyone.” Hermione turned to look at him letting him take both hands in his. 

“I’m listening.” 

“The first day back, in September, Professor McGonagall gave me a time turner.” She pulled it from her bag. “I’m suppose to keep it on at all times, but I knew you would know what it was as soon as you saw and considering what happen last night, well you know, you would have seen it.” 

“Hm.” Lupin acknowledged that she was correct, but didn’t say anything else wanting her to continue speaking. 

“I’ve taken on extra classes. All of the electives, actually.” Hermione finally turned to look at him to gage his reaction to her secret. 

“All?” Lupin nodded his head while rubbing a hand over his mouth. “Hermione…” 

“I know, I know!” She jumped up and started pacing around the room. Touching various things and letting out huffs of air. 

“It’s just that… I thought McGonagall would put me in some of the fifth year classes I asked for. Not to sit the OWLs or anything just to take them for the education. Instead, she offered me this. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I mean Divinations? Lavender and Pavarti are flying through the class and they can barely write a comprehensible sentence.” 

“Don’t be a snob.” His gentle voice came from the couch. She shot him a look, but kept going.

“Any. Way. It’s just that I really thought I could handle everything. All of these classes. But it’s so out of control. Even with all my extra hours over break of reading and revisions. I have 432 pages of reading to do this week. This week! I don’t sleep. My hands are cramping from all the writing so they constantly shake and Snape won’t stop making snide comments about it in Potions-“

“Git.” 

“Thanks. But when I thought I was somehow equipped to do this I didn’t think I was going to have to do all of this!’ Hermione waved her hands around the room. 

“All of what?” Lupin wanted her to say everything out loud. 

“First, it’s the dementors and Harry being stalked by them. Then it’s Sirius Black who may or may not be running around the castle jumping up on the furniture,” she pressed on ignoring Lupin’s snort of laughter, “Then everything with Buckbeak. I tried so hard, so hard, and Hagrid-“ 

Hermione’s voice broke thinking of her friend who was beyond inconsolable at the impending lost of the creature. 

“Hagrid has to watch this murder happen all because Malfoy had the money and power to scare people. Then there’s Harry and Ron. Sure, we’re okay now, but for how long? Until I say one thing they don’t like and then it’s back to the silent treatment, but that will only last for as long as they can do their homework on their own. God, this term has been so hard. The cruelty those two are capable of. I might be unhinged and I know I’m capable of a lot, but at least I don’t pretend be some saint. You must think I’m horrible; talking about Harry this way.” Hermione stopped by the window to stare out at the Black Lake. 

“I don’t. I think you’re allowed to feel however you want after someone does something to you.” Hermione looked over her shoulder at him. He had never really made it okay for her to be mad at Harry before. “And what he did, while forgivable, is bound to leave a painful mark. At least for some time. He went out of his way to see you suffer. That isn’t something you pack away because he eats dinner with you again.” 

And he had never acknowledged that Harry had purposefully hurt her. She turned her eyes back to window pane. 

“Hermione, come here.” He called to her gently. 

“Not just yet.” She knew it was coming. 

“Tell me the rest, Pet.” Even when she was so angry at him all those weeks ago, when he had broken her heart and made her feel so rejected she knew that kindness was who he was. She could feel it pouring out of him and enveloping her now. 

“I don’t want to it. Not yet. I just need one more minute.” Hermione kept her eyes on the lake, but she could see him in the darken window come up behind her. 

His large warm hands slid around her belly as his arms hugged her tightly. She leaned her head back into his chest and turned her face to nuzzle into the hard muscular plane. She tilted it up so she could feel his evening stubble graze against her hairline and if she stood on her tip toes she would be able to run her lips over it. As it were he moved his head in order to drop light kisses on her face. His arms held her tighter to his body and she wanted so badly to be absorbed into him. To feel the calm she felt when the whole world was quiet and it was just them enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Go on.” He whispered into her hair. Looking back out the window Hermione took one last deep breath. 

“Then there was you. When I saw you on the train I thought was going spare. You performed such powerful magic without saying a word. And seeing you in the light and you being so handsome. That moment, do you remember, when I passed you by the bathrooms? Your smell. It’s like a drug. So, you. It unsettled me the way it effected me. My mind. My body.” Hermione could tell they were both feeling the effects of her talking about their interaction, but neither would act on it. This had to be said. 

“I knew it was wrong. The way I was pursuing you. It was aggressive and you said no I don’t even know how many times. I couldn’t stop. I had to be around you. Be as close to you as possible. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way you do. Like you were seeing me. Except sometimes it was like you weren’t. Sometimes, we would be in the same room and I was there and I knew I was there, but you didn’t. We’ve been up and down. It’s like we can’t find a place to just be. This isn’t making sense…” 

“Yes, it is, keep going.” His mouth was still in her hair, inhaling her scent, but his eyes had adverted to look at hers through the window. 

“It was like the more I needed you the more you pulled away. The dueling club? Harry practically stung my skin off my leg before you intervened. Did you actually ever talk to him? Nope. Hagrid was the one who told the boys they were being unfair with everything. I know it was hard to hear, but I meant what I said. I don’t know if you were able, if you would be, ever able to see my side when it comes to Harry. Not fully and not to his face. I know things have been good now since we talked, but it’s there. And then there’s the obvious.” 

“Hm?” Lupin was rubbing his thumb in a small circle on her upper stomach. Still keeping his face in her hair. 

“My age.” She could feel him nod and take a breath in. “I know it’s a factor. First term I would look at you and I couldn’t figure out this emotion on your face. It played so often. Anger at me coming on to you. Okay. Lust when I was in your bed. Yeah. But there was always something else under the surface. And I figured it out this morning.” 

Hermione turned to look at him, staying in his arms, she put both hands around his face. 

“Shame. You’re ashamed of yourself of your feelings.” She whispered while looking into his eyes. 

“I’m not ashamed of you.” He punctuated every word. 

“I know that. It took me awhile to figure it out. It’s you. Your shame. Your self-loathing. You hate yourself for so many things and your feelings for me? I think they’re doing you in a bit. It’s why we’re always on edge. It’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it.” 

Neither spoke for minutes. Just stared at each other. 

“There’s more than that. Things you knew, that you wouldn’t tell me to protect me, that I didn’t want to believe. That I thought I was mature enough to handle. I was wrong. This is going to sound so silly, I, god I am embarrassed, this morning I found out that basically eighty percent of third year is, what Parvati called, hooking up. She and Lavender explained in detail what that means. It was a lot of details.” 

Hermione had buried her face back into his chest. Savoring the smell and feel of being this close to him. 

“Truth is, Professor, you were right all those months ago. I’m not ready for… that stuff. I can’t even say what that stuff is.” Hermione tried not to cry over this, but the tears came anyway. “And now I’m crying over blowjobs. I swear to God if you’re laughing-“

The teacher quickly coughed to cover his own laughter. 

“Hermione, I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you being upset. I’m just laughing because I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you, how I’ve had you, and how ever I will have you.” That only caused the tears to come harder. 

“I knew you weren’t ready for any of that. Truth is, I wasn’t either.” She instantly looked up at him with shock and confusion. 

“But I thought all boys wanted-“

“All boys sure. As I’ve told you, I am a man. I won’t lie and say I don’t think about you. That what I want to do to you, with you, isn’t on repeat in my mind, but as I’ve also told you, engaging in those activities is a big step. One that can change your relationship with a person. I wanted you to know what you were getting yourself in to and not just allow your desire to control you. I don’t think I’ve made good on that promise to myself all of our times together.” 

They continued to stand there holding each other. Neither wanting to be the first to speak. If they spoke, they would have to finish the conversation. Time was going by and soon curfew would be upon them. Lupin knew he would have to do it if only to push her to finish her thoughts. 

“Go on, love.” Hermione tried to steady herself. 

“It doesn’t seem like we’re going to figure this out any time soon. There’s still three solid months of school left and finals. I have to do well. I have to focus on the time turner and my work. I need to be there for my friends. And…” Hermione pressed her lips together as a fresh wave of tears crested. 

“It’s okay.” He was taking it. 

“And I don’t want to be another source of your shame.” She looked up at him. She wished he would be angry. Or hurt. Instead, she was met with his kind eyes and soft smile. 

“Say it.” He nodded his head at her. 

“I hope we can still work on my project and have class together, but,” Hermione took a shaky breath, “I don’t think we should see each other, like this, anymore.” 

He kissed the top of her forehead again and moved to pull away. 

“Wait. Just one more?” Hermione dug her hands into his back. She tried to laugh, but it came out as a sigh. “I could beg one last time?” 

Professor Lupin stepped back to her, leaned down, and kissed her. Softly. Passionately. Lovingly. His tongue asking permission that she eagerly gave as she moved her hands to his hair one last time. Their tongues moving together trying to memorize each roll and stroke. She knew he would be able to smell her arousal working its way through her body and just as she was about to give in he broke from her mouth. One more soft kissed landed on her lips before he took several steps back. 

They smiled at each other. The shame was there on his face, but she knew they would part as friends. Hermione gathered her school bag and made for the door. Turning, she took in the sofa one last time and looked at the most beautiful man she had ever seen. 

“Goodbye, Professor Lupin.” She walked out of the door and made it to the second step. 

“Goodbye, my love.” 

Hermione allowed herself to cry the whole walk back to the dorms. She didn’t care if anyone saw her. 

______

Hermione went to sleep that night with a pain in her chest. She knew she had to have that conversation and while the wound would scar she was already feeling better for having done it. 

The next morning, she woke up feeling lighter than she had in weeks. She was speaking with her two best friends again. She had a plan to tackle her coursework. And she knew that she didn’t have to think about planning any secret meetings with her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher to get off. She did feel a pang of regret when she remembered that she should have asked him how she could bring about her own orgasm, but she couldn’t move backwards. 

After a few days even Harry and Ron said she seemed brighter. She told them she was sleeping more. They spent more time with Hagrid and Buckbeak. Ron attempted to do his own homework before asking Hermione for help and a few times she noticed that he was actually listening while she explained a theory to him. This was how all year should have been. 

Hermione would be having her first Friday session with Professor Lupin today. She knew that she had 12 Friday’s to get her essay done, but with how she had outlined it she thought it was possible to get it done in 6. And while she was at peace with her choice to not see Lupin anymore as anything but her Professor she didn’t want to push the obvious attraction her body still felt. 

“Class dismissed.” 

Hermione packed up one notebook in exchange for another. She tried to keep things as organized as possible. Honestly, if more of the students here would use muggle school supplies they would do better. 

“Good week, Miss Granger?” Professor Lupin asked as he grabbed a chair to sit in front of her desk. Him leaving the door open didn’t go unnoticed by her. 

“Wonderful, actually. I’m back on track with my revisions. I had to pull a couple of later nights to catch up on reading, but all in all not bad and tonight I should be okay to only do a couple hours of work. I wish Hagrid was doing better, but it’s to be expected I suppose.” Hermione pulled out her pen and her outline. 

“The Ministry needs a real wakeup call about how they classify these creatures and their nature.” Professor Lupin looked at her outline again. “Hm, so it seems you’re still stuck on eight  beings.” 

“I couldn’t decide and honestly I’ve done so much of the preliminary work I figured I would just go ahead and do it.” Hermione nodded her head aggressively. 

“I’ll have to put my foot down. I want you prepared for the final. It will be a practical,” He didn’t miss her grimace, “don’t worry you’ll be fine. But you’ll need to prepare. Now let’s narrow this down based on your outline of co-existing.” 

“Cohabitating, Professor.” Hermione corrected him smartly. 

“If you think that’s the best word choice.” He was asking her to probe deeper. If she had a partner they could talk it out. As her professor, he would only ask her leading questions. 

“Well,” Hermione put the pen down and turned over the words in her mind, “cohabitating says that they live together naturally and can work in a symbiotic relationship. Coexisting would imply that they could share space without too much incident, but not necessarily carry on a relationship.” 

“That’s true. Now look at your list and think about it.” 

Hinkypunk 

Vampires 

Hags

Werewolves 

Dementors 

Grindylow 

Boggart 

Thestrals 

“Okay, I see. None of these beings would make the choice to live with the other or work in relationship if they found themselves in one. So coexisting.” Hermione tapped her pen against her chin. 

“Good. Alright, now let’s try to cross off three that don’t fit.” 

“Two.” Stubborn as ever, Hermione pouted at him. 

“How about you start with one to prove you can listen.” Lupin raised his eyebrow, but the humor was evident. 

“Well, Grindylow cause they live in water. And I guess Boggarts? They aren’t as corporeal as the others.” Hermione cross them off and poignantly set her pen down. 

“Okay, Miss Granger I’ll say this, I would cross off one more. If you can make the case for it you’ll get top marks, if not, you’ll really hurt your essay.” The professor knew this was as much advice the girl would be willing to receive. 

For the next hour and a half the pair worked in silence as she did research on the books he had in his own collection and the ones he had already stolen, borrowed on a long term basis as he put it, from the library and the teacher graded other work. 

“Professor?” Hermione asked towards the end of class. 

“Yes?” Hermione thought she heard him about to add something to the end of that ‘yes’ but she couldn’t be sure. 

“Do you think it would be appropriate to use a real life source?” Her question wasn’t as vague as she thought. 

“Well, Hermione, none of these creatures would do well to have themselves or their conditions publicly known. You know that.” Professor Lupin was always patient, but she could tell he was a bit put out by her asking if he would be willing to answer openly to being a werewolf. 

“I would never! I just mean, Sir, you fought in the first war, and I know you don’t like to talk about it, but Voldemort did have some of these beings on his side. You’ve said yourself that so many of these texts are written from the bias perspective of academics or Ministry officials. It might be educational to have someone actually describe how a hag lives and attacks. There isn’t anything that describes what would make them want to join the dark side. I have a hard time believing they’re just evil.” Hermione had set everything down and was staring into his eyes. 

Professor Lupin took a deep breath turning over what she said. Clearly, when things were ended between them and she asked for a professional relationship they had both underestimated how infatuated they had become with each others minds. 

“That… is actually a good point, Hermione. Yes, okay. If you would like you can drop off questions to me on Tuesday and on Friday’s we will discuss them. And since I know how you work I’m prefacing this by saying that your questions should stick to the scope of this project.” 

“Okay, I can live with that.” With that Hermione packed up her bag and set off for dinner with a quick thank you thrown over her shoulder. 

That weekend Harry asked how her first meeting went and Hermione weighed her options. She wanted to be honest, but carefully honest. 

“It was good. It’s different. We aren’t doing anything practical. It’s all theory and research based.” Hermione smiled at the boys. 

“So your version of heaven?” Ron asked around his mouthful of dinner. Trying to hide her look of disgust Hermione pressed on. 

“I think that it’s going to allow me to see things in a slightly different way.” Hermione pondered out loud.

“This I’ve got to hear.” Harry put his head on his hand and turned to look at her. 

“Well, I think it’s making me see that there are different ways to be good at something. Knowing how to do something and actually doing it are two different things, but they both rely on each other.” Hermione took another bite of her salad. 

Both of the boys were looking at her like they had never met her before. 

“But Hermione, I don’t understand, you do know how to do Defensive spells.” Harry told her. 

“Yes, in a controlled setting. Sure. Okay, let’s take first year for example. Not to brag, but we never would have gotten as far as we did if it hadn’t been for my ability to retain knowledge and apply theory. Or for Ron to take what he knew of both theory and applied practicalities and use it on the chess board. And Harry, you actually did the work. Finishing off Voldemort. Harnessing that magic physically. Does this make sense?” 

“I’m actually following.” Ron laughed. 

“My point is,” Hermione smiled at him, “that instead of trying to argue that one is better I think we might find ourselves in situations where all three have to work together at one time. I’m interested to see how Professor Lupin can help me gain appreciation for that.” 

March was passing quickly. Hermione and her boys were back to spending all their time together. She even took to reading about pass winning Quidditch teams to relay some information to Oliver Wood after she had discreetly cornered him in an alcove, kicked him in the shin, and reminded him that Professor McGonagall would never suspect her. When asked how they made up Hermione told people she assumed he had seen reason. 

Her Friday session were going spectacularly and she was making quick progress on her project. The first Tuesday Professor Lupin accepted questions she had handed them in at the end of class. She pretended she didn’t hear him unroll the parchment and mumble under his breath “fuck me.” It was only 62 questions. He answered every single one that Friday. 

As the days rolled on and March started to recede from the Highlands the pain in Hermione’s heart turned to a dull ache. She realized one day in class that as much as she wanted to be close to him she no longer felt the uncontrollable emotions that would seize her or paralyze her to her seat. She found that it was still easier to advert her gaze from him, but looking at him didn’t make her eyes well with tears at the idea of never being close with him again. 

Of course this didn’t stop her mind from being filled with images of their time together. Just because she was healing emotionally didn’t mean her body was forgetting. The warmth of his skin and how his rough fingers felt on her ribcage. Sometimes she would long for simple things like how strong his arms felt wrapped around her on the night they decided to stop seeing each other. Other nights she could feel his mouth on her breast as his tongue swirled the peak. The other hand ghosting up her inner thigh with the rough pads of his fingers. She could still see the exact way his head fell back as he moved his hand up and down his hardened member and moaned her name. The way his eyes burned for her as he looked over at her rolling her nipple between her wet fingers. 

Hermione had tried everything to find the same release she had known with him. Nothing had worked. She had been actively avoiding Parvati since the girl saw her and Malfoy in the hall. She knew Pav had the wrong idea, but if she made it a big deal then the other girl would make it a big deal and as of now it seemed that she hadn’t told anyone. Therefore, she would not be going to Parvati about her own self gratifying issues. 

Hermione couldn’t help but note the true irony of one of her named reasons for leaving Professor Lupin being that she wasn’t ready to progress in their sexual relationship and she thought it unfair to him as a boy, no a man as he is, and now 4 weeks after the fact all she could think about was feeling his fingers on her clit and anywhere else he deemed would bring her pleasure. 

Easter Holidays was just a couple days away and she thought most of her classmates would be excited. In the days leading up to it the library was packed and the common room was overflowing with groups trying to desperately finish homework so they wouldn’t have to do it over break. If it wasn’t homework, class, or revision she wasn’t paying attention. Even the boys had their heads down. 

She really wanted to skip her Friday hours with Professor Lupin. She had to break this Ancient Ruin by Monday to stay on track with her timetable and her project with him had been coming along so nicely she was sure she wouldn’t even need the full six Fridays she planned. 

After about thirty minutes Professor Lupin leaned down and reached his hand under the desk placing it on top of her knee that was bouncing up and down so hard it was shaking the tabletop. 

“I don’t want to presume, but you seem anxious.” He smiled at her. 

“Sorry, Professor. I’m just very behind right now. A lot of homework and March has been… not just me though every one is feeling it! Have you you noticed? Why have you all lost your minds and given us this much work?” Hermione was beginning to get that crazed look in her eyes the man knew all too well. 

“Do you want to go finish your own work?” He asked her. She tried her best to not resent him for talking to her like she was wounded deer again. 

“Do you mind if we just skip to the questions and then I’ll go?” 

“Sure, no problem. Let’s see.” 

Well, that was a mistake. Professor Lupin answered a few questions and then the argument started. It had started off as a simple disagreement. Then it turned into Hermione really pushing back. 

“Hermione, vampires do not have the ability to mate. They are independent creatures by nature.” Professor Lupin was trying to tell the girl. 

“Professor Lupin, as I’ve been trying to say there is new literature out there that tells us it’s not as uncommon as once believed that vampires can in fact have one mate for their eternal lives.” Hermione was on the verge of gritting her teeth. 

“The idea of soulmates was made up to make these dark beings seem more lovable. It’s false pretense to lull unsuspecting girls into their hands.” Lupin had set the questions down to really look at her. 

“Oh right cause that’s what all girls do. Fall for something they couldn’t possibly know anything about. All girls must be so attracted to evil.” Hermione couldn’t help the sarcasm. 

“These beings are evil. Vampires, werewolves-“ 

“They are not evil! They just live… alternative lifestyles.” Hermione nodded her head as if she was fully committed to what she said. 

“Alternative lifestyles? I’m sorry did you fall and hit your head.” Ignoring her scoff Lupin pressed on, “Werewolves have lifelong mates for one reason which is they take them and turn them. It is suppose to go that whomever is turned by a werewolf will be beholden to said werewolf. It’s an evil act done by an evil thing.”  

“Turning someone is not the same as having a soulmate level bond. You’re completely conflating the two concepts.” Hermione threw her hands up. 

“Please educate me.” Professor Lupin challenged her while leaning back on his chair. 

“Werewolves do not have some mythical power to have soulmates. They’re pack animals and therefore have to go through a process of acceptance. Having a soulmate takes away that rite. Unlike vampires, whom we’ve established are naturally withdrawn, they do have the power to soul bond with another individual. Even nature that is abnormal will find a way to correct itself.” 

“Meaning?” Lupin couldn’t help the squint in his eyes. 

“Vampires are lonely creatures. People can’t survive on their own. However evil they may be. Therefore, nature gives them the power to find their counterpart. Werewolves can’t survive on their own or with only one other. They need a pack. Which is why they can’t soul bond with only one person. I know you hate it, but there are accounts of werewolves out there, in packs, who have a partner for life. They just aren’t what you’re talking about. This is nature dealing with all of us being here.”

“Well we shouldn’t be here.” Lupin slumped in the chair. Hermione knew he didn’t mean ‘we’ as people in general. She couldn’t help herself. 

“BUT YOU ARE HERE!” She screamed at him. She had never screamed like that at anyone. For a minute they just stared at each other. 

“Professor, I’m sorry for that. I just meant that assigning things like evil to beings whom for the most part didn’t ask for what was done to them isn’t fair. To condemn a whole life to darkness…it’s just not right. These are people and creatures with lives and feelings. I know you’ve seen things, but I think that’s part of the problem.” She gained control of her voice again. She was too embarrassed to look him in the eye so she concentrated on the desk in between them. 

“You’re right I have seen some things. I’ve seen what these creatures, who you seem so desperate to defend, have done. What they’ve done to people. What some of them would love to do to girls like you. Don’t roll your eyes at me,” his voice was hard, “there is part of your soul that gets snatched away when you become one of these things. It’s not love that these people feel. It’s just a… I don’t know what it is. A pull? These things aren’t capable of feeling or receiving real love.” 

Lupin was staring at her. His face was rage. Hermione couldn’t help the sadness that pull at the corners of her lips and her eyes. 

“And you know that for a fact?” Hermione asked him. Voice small. 

“I do.” 

His voice was still hard and he didn’t break eye contact with her. She picked up her wand and without saying anything her bag began packing itself. She didn’t even stop to think about the nonverbal spell. Once packed she slung it over her shoulder. She bent over the desk her face inches from his. 

“You’re lying.” She hissed. 

She turned and walked towards the door. Stopping in the door she yelled back at him. 

“And I’m going to prove it to you.” 

Hermione doesn’t know how long he stayed sitting in that chair in front of her desk. She did know that it felt good to see the wave of shock come over his face when she called him on his bullshit. 

______

The Easter holiday was upon them. Hermione was buried under more work than ever before. She had been chasing professors through the castle to get answers and advance reading materials from them to stay ahead. She demanded grades back on her homework and essays. At one point in potions she had stayed after class and was haranguing Snape for the difference between fresh and picked leech juice. It quickly went south from her ranting that she didn’t have time to make her own leech juice. Harry had been mystified that instead of taking points or punishing the girl he simply looked down his nose at her. 

“Miss Granger, perhaps a kip of a calming draught?” 

That had gotten her attention long enough to take a breath. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath into her lungs. 

“No, thank you, Sir. I’m, well I’m bit stretched I think. I think it’s best if I go sit somewhere.” Hermione turned to leave. 

“Do keep sharp objects away from her, Potter. I’m afraid she’s cracking up.” The smirk on his face was unmistakable, but Harry couldn’t tell if he was laughing at Hermione or impressed by her tenacity. Harry just nodded his head and made to catch up with Hermione who was already quizzing him about blasted ended skewers. 

It would seem that the fight between Hermione and Professor Lupin had been forgotten or put on the back burner. Hermione was peppering him with just as many questions and asking him to show her how to cast spells just as frequently as she was first term. 

The Gryfinndors weren’t the only ones feeling the pressure. Ernie Macmillan kept hanging around the Gryfinndor dorm door waiting for Lavender. She assured the girls they were just working off the stress. Padma Patil had assigned a different desk in the library a different subject and when a poor Slytherin first year tried to move her arthimancy book off the proper desk she stuck their feet to the floor and forced them to listen to her read three chapters. Madam Pince found the pair - Padma wide eyed and scribbling notes, lecturing the kid and the first year openly weeping. She had gotten detention for that, but in a rare moment of sympathy Madam Pince allowed her to read through the two hours in a private study. 

One of the most shocking moments was during Defense Against the Dark Arts. The last Friday before Easter holidays and every student was wearing burn out on their faces like a mask. They were prancing their confringo charms along with a vaulting charm. The idea was to send an object up into the air and use confringo on it. When it was achieved ten times in a row the object would disappear and the student would be released from any work over the holidays. They had been working for about five minutes when Lavender missed one and immediately sat on the floor and cried. Professor Lupin, not knowing what to do stared at her like she had a contagious illness and looked to Hermione who gave him the stink eye and gestured for him to go to her. 

The class only got weirder when Draco was on his tenth cast and threw the spell so hard that it completely destroyed the object and continued on only to bounce off something metal behind it and come back to hit Hermione in the shin. Naturally she wasn’t wearing pants that day so her skin took the full hit resulting in a burn. 

“Ow, fucker, what did you do that for?” Hermione knew the fact that they had been working next to each other in peace for the last 35 minutes was too good to be true. 

“Sorry, I didn’t do it on purpose.” Malfoy shrugged his shoulders. He took the two steps towards her bent down and picked her leg up by the ankle examining the mark. “Might scar, I suppose. Not like this package could be any worse.” He gestured toward her whole body. 

Hermione scowled at him and pushed him away from her. 

“Okay, okay. Break it up. Hermione, you alright?” Professor Lupin came over, “What happen?” 

“Rebounded spell, Sir. Hit the girl in the shin.” Malfoy did his best to seem polite. Hermione rolled her eyes behind him. 

“Hermione, is that true?” Professor Lupin side stepped Malfoy and came to stand in front of the witch. The class was trying to not pay attention to them. Some of the more determined ones were almost done and decided to stay focused. Harry was outwardly watching as he had finished his ten just minutes before Malfoy. 

“Yes, Sir. We’ve been working next to each other the whole time. It was just an accident.” 

“Do you want Madam Pomfrey to look at it? Or I can tend to it after class?” He tried to look at it, but Hermione moved her leg behind her other so the worse couldn’t be seen. 

“No, no it’s okay. I only have two more of these to do so I think I’ll get going.” She smiled at him and threw Harry a look that said ‘of course this would happen, bloody Malfoy.’ His laugh was worth the lie. The pain in her leg was becoming unbearable. 

“Okay, concentrate. Think about it happening. Where you want the spell to land not just what you want it to do. Push out from yourself.” Professor Lupin was standing behind. Too closely behind her. The pain in her leg. His smell. The overwhelming stress of all her homework. 

Hermione lifted the object into the air nonverbally and then following all those steps pushed her magic outside of herself through her wand and it happened. She deliberately did a nonverbal spell. She looked to Harry to see if he saw it. His mouth was wide open. Hermione turned to look at Lupin who was still standing behind her and seeing his face made her ten times happier. He looked so impressed and happy for her. 

“Good. Now do it again.” With that he walked away. So she did it again. 

They didn’t have office hours that day as it was the last day before the holidays and she wanted to have a break she said. She darted out with everyone else, but quickly told the boys she would see them at dinner. 

Hermione ducked behind a tapestry that had a small alcove with stone benches and a stained glass window. She cast a cushioning charm on the bench and sat to prop her leg up. The window wasn’t letting much light in and the candles she lit weren’t doing it either. She quickly scanned her Charms textbook for anything related to healing wounds knowing it was a long shot. Healing charms were not easy and could make someone way worse off if cast improperly. She didn’t want to have to go to Madam Pomfrey. She wasn’t even sure she could make it all the way up there. 

Just then the tapestry moved to the side and in walked a tall platinum headed boy. 

“Hey.” He was looking around at the floor and playing with the bag that hung off his shoulder. 

“Hey?” Hermione responded looking him up and down for any sign as to what he was doing in the alcove. 

“I’’m sorry about the rebound.” Draco finally looked up at her. 

“I told you I was fine. Or are you worried I’m going to hunt you down and punch you in the face again?” Hermione smiled at him trying to let him know it was meant in good fun. 

“Ha. You caught me. My fragile ego can only take one punch to the face from you a term.” Malfoy approached her and placed his bag upon the bench. “And anyway, I can take a punch just fine.” 

“Mal-“

But Malfoy waved his hand at her to cut her off. He took his wand out and cast a lumos to get more light in the small space. 

“Can you cast too? Not enough light.” He directed her in a neutral way. 

“Sure.” She mumbled not really sure what was happening exactly. 

In the span of about seven minutes Malfoy had taken some things out of his bag and placed the liquid on the bandages. He wrapped them around her leg and once her leg stopped jerky from the initial pain of having something touching the hurt area and adjusting to the coldness of the liquid he ran his hands up and down massaging whatever it was into her shin. 

He wasn’t looking at her. Just her shin where he was smoothing the bandages down. He had bent her leg up so he could have full access to her leg. The other leg was hanging over the bench with her foot on the floor. Unfortunately, in their quest to heal the leg neither realized that Hermione, still in her skirt due to the warmer April weather, was sitting with her legs open and her skirt had pooled at her hips. 

Malfoy must have noticed at the same time she did because his hand movements stuttered a little bit and when she looked at him again his whole face was pink including his ears. He grabbed his sweater and tossed it over her covering up anything he would forever pretend to not have seen. 

“Here.” He choked out. 

“Sorry.” Hermione spoke, but it sounded strained. “I didn’t think…”

“You didn’t think that I was like every other teenage boy in this castle?” His famous smirk coming out. 

“Not when it comes me!” Hermione couldn’t help her laughter. 

“Maybe I’ll give up this wizard business and become an actor, what do you think?” Malfoy laughed again and allowed a real smile for a second. 

She, too worried, about saying something to offend him just laughed with him. After a few minutes he stopped rubbing her leg and took the bandages off. The burn was gone and the pain with it. 

“Essence of Dittany?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah. Great stuff.” Malfoy said while cleaning up. 

“Expensive stuff.” She stopped at that when Malfoy scoffed at her. Rich git. 

“Do you want to be a healer, Malfoy?” Hermione asked him as he shut his bag. 

“Want to be?” Malfoy asked her standing up and shouldering his bag. 

“Yeah, like after school. Go and do an apprenticeship and work at St. Mungos or something.” Malfoy was nodding along as she spoke. 

“Granger, there is no ‘want to be’ in the Malfoy family. I got to be a Malfoy. That’s pretty much where the decisions start and stop with me.” 

“That wasn’t your decision.” Hermione pushed him. “So that’s it you take over Malfoy, Inc. or whatever the hell it is your family has Malfoy Enterprises, and just boss people around and exist.” 

“To be honest the way you describe it it sounds a lot better than how Father puts it. You should consider coming on as branding.” 

“Malfoy be serious.” 

“I am serious. My decisions. All of them. They aren’t mine. You’re lucky, you know. You get stressed out because in your mind you want to be at the top so you can have your pick and you’ll fit-“

“You’re second in the class, you can do anything!”

“As I was saying, you’ll fit in wherever you go. Me? I only have one place waiting. So it doesn’t matter how well I do on my potion’s NEWT. Not like I’m going to be able to start a greenhouse and open an apothecary.” Malfoy had his smirk back. 

“Oh, Draco. Is that what you wa-“

“I’ll see you. Please don’t tell anyone. If McGonagall finds out I burnt your leg it won’t matter who comes to my defense. She’ll bench me for the Cup final.” 

“Good luck.” 

_______

The Easter holidays came and went. She spent all weekend in the common room, where at one point Seamus screamed a series of curse words so loud Hermione could have sworn she heard the Fat Lady say she was going to tell Professor McGonagall. Parvati had gone up to him and it looked like she was helping him with something in his book, but when Hermione looked up again the two were disappearing out of the portrait hole. 

Hermione barely saw Professor Lupin. She could still feel his presence in a room so she knew when he was taking his meals with everyone else, but she stayed so preoccupied she hadn’t thought of any more questions for her term project. So on Tuesday she handed nothing in. 

The whole castle all week was abuzz with anticipation for the Quidditch Cup match on Saturday. Oliver Wood was getting more and more deranged. Even Harry had snapped at him. On Wednesday he had come into the common room to find Katie Bell sitting in one of the chairs talking with Angelina Johnson and almost lost his whole mind when he saw she had a heating pad. 

“You’re hurt? You have to tell me if you’re hurt! How did this happen? This so irresponsible of you!” Hermione almost got up to say something as she remembered what being in Katie’s position felt like. Just as she was out of her chair Katie stood up.

“I’m on my fucking period, Wood! I would hardly call it an injury, but sure if you want me to come to you and discuss the shedding of my uterine lining and the blood flowing out of my vagina I’m happy to do so. You gotta a minute now?” Katie was screaming at him. The boys in the room looked like they were all sea sick while sitting still and the girls, who weren’t outright laughing, were smiling at Katie like she was a hero. 

“I do not, in fact, want to talk about.” Oliver said before disappearing to his corner to study his practice pitch. 

That Friday morning even Hermione couldn’t focus on school. The boys were surprised by how excited she was for the match, but they looked so happy that she was taking an interest. As they were walking to class Ron trying to predict everything the Slytherins would try and pull, legally and illegally, in the match Harry mumbled to Hermione that he needed to talk to her. 

Ron still talking walked into class as the two stayed behind and waited to make sure he was properly gone and the hall was empty. They only had a few minutes. 

“What is it, Harry?” Hermione was nervous about being late. 

“I saw the Grim.”

“Oh, Harry not this again. Come on.” She tried to push him into the classroom. 

“No, no. I saw a dog who looks like a grim.” At that Hermione stopped and looked into his eyes. 

“Tell me everything. Quickly.” 

Harry told Hermione about waking up from his nightmares and getting a drink. That he was looking out at the pitch trying to think of anything else he could do to prepare for tomorrow when he saw Crookshanks and a dog walking the grounds together. 

“Crookshanks? Harry are you sure?”

“Positive. It’s all I saw, but it was weird. That’s weird right?” Harry asked while walking into class. 

The day progressed on. The teachers got tired of trying to tell the students to stop talking during class, but they couldn’t contain their excitement. Even Professor McGonagall dedicated her class to talking about the ways transfigurations have been used during matches. Hermione had never seen Ron so enraptured by a class. 

The trio sat for lunch with Hermione’s brain still trying to think of what Crookshanks would be doing with Sirius. If he was evil surely her good boy wouldn’t spend time with him. 

Lunch time mail deliveries were rare, but not completely uncommon. It just so happen that Friday Hermione received a package that she had been waiting on for almost three weeks. Her eyes flicked up to the teachers table and in a moment of boldness stayed there until Professor Lupin looked at her. She held his stare for a second longer before quirky her eyebrow and the corner of her lip up and down quickly and staring back at the table. 

Professor Lupin, unlike the other teachers, didn’t bother trying to pretend like he wasn’t also jonesing to get to the match tomorrow. He allowed the students to practice friendly duels, inter house only, and it was disarming only. This was much friendlier than Christmas break. The whole classroom was filled with laughter and shrieks of joy when students were able to cast the spells correctly or someone could deflect a spell for the first time. 

“Okay, class. I won’t lie I’m happy to say that the day is over. Please tonight, Harry, Draco, get some rest, yes boys?” Harry openly beamed at his DADA professor, while Malfoy opted to try and look cool by smirking; Hermione could see that when he looked down he had a boyish smile. 

Hermione was counting on Harry and Ron not waiting for her as they grown use to her staying behind on Fridays for office hours. As the room cleared out Hermione stood to pack her bag and said bye to her professor. As the students were walking out he made his way up the stairs to his office. Hermione walked out directly behind Crabbe, but when she made it to the door she closed it. He would hear her, but that wasn’t the point. 

She tapped her wand against the door to ward it. Casting a silencing charm on her shoes she ran across the class and up the stairs. His office door was open, but he had just tried to shut it as Hermione had to throw her body against the door to get in before it locked. 

“Hermione, fucking hell.” Lupin actually jumped a bit. Now she knew it wasn’t totally impossible to sneak up on the werewolf. “You wanted to stay for office hours? I didn’t know, sorry. Should we head back downstairs?” 

He was about to get up from his desk chair when she came around his desk, still in her boldness, and pushed his chest downward forcing him back down. His eyebrows came together about to question her. 

“Hermi-“

Hermione didn’t let him finish as she cut him off by slamming her bag on his desk. She took out her delivery from lunch. His quizzical focus landed the book in front of her. 

The Wizarding World and All Its Inhabitants  

With out stopping Hermione flipped to the already bookmarked page and began to read. 

‘Vampires, having an average age of 314 years, usually go their whole lives without meeting what we would refer to as a soulmate. They do often come across great loves. This can happen more than once in their lifetime. However, it is the soulmate that is the Vampire’s truest of loves as it transcends partnership and romantic relationship. The soulmate bond ensures the Vampire will be healthier and more neutral. Vampires that have met their soulmate will often go on to live double the average age, retain power, and be less likely to fall to the darkness that they crave. 

This author was told that while it is true that many Vampires, and other such creatures, tend to keep to the shadows leading them to a life of darkness those who have found their partner will often be able to fight off that predisposition with ease. Having their soulmate, or partner as other creatures would say, takes off the undue stress that being two creatures - human and other - can bring to the body.’ 

Hermione flipped to the back of the book to the acknowledgment section cleared her throat and continued. 

‘I would like to thank the Vampires of the Swiss Mountain sides for taking me in for an extended period of time and opening their homes, minds, and hearts to me. Without them I would not have learned as much information as this book contains. My hope is one day all wizards can openly listen to all those in our world.’

She shut the book with a resounding snap and set it down in front of him. Reputable book and author. Lupin opened the covered and skimmed the table of contents. Shutting it again he looked up at Hermione who stood over top of him, one hand on her hip, looking smug as ever. 

“So let me get this straight. You waited three weeks for this book to come just to sit here and prove me wrong?” He asked her. 

“Yes, I did.” Hermione felt no remorse. He was wrong and now he knew it. When he didn’t say anything a hint of worry started playing on her face and she began chewing her lip. 

Turning back to his desk Professor Lupin picked up the book and put it back in Hermione’s bag. He shut the top, picked it up, and placed it on the floor. Then staring at her again he stood up. 

In a split second his mouth was on hers. She responded instantly grabbing his hair and pulling him closer as she reached up on her tip toes to get to him. He had his arm around her waist and picked her up to place her on his desk. She pulled him closer until his mid thighs were pushed up against the edge of the wood. His tongue, having taken space in her mouth, caused her let out a small moan as she let him dominate her once again. 

Almost three weeks of not seeing him, but almost seven weeks of not touching him was unbearable. Her whole body ignited. Every fiber was on fire at the feeling of his hands on her sides, on her back. She wanted more. Hermione scooted closer to the edge of the desk. When he didn’t react she moved all the way to the edge drawing her feet up to rest on either side of them. Her skirt had pooled beneath her belly button as their hips pressed firmly together. She tried to get a handle on her breathing as she felt his growing erection pressing through his trousers and right into her core. She knew he could feel it. How hot and wet she was. Seven weeks of built up want and frustration releasing from her. She pushed him back just a bit so she could look into his eyes. 

“Can you feel it?” Her voice was only coming out with her breaths. His eyes were closed, but he was taking deep breaths in. 

“Hermione, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have, you don’t want this.” He was trying to calm everything down. He let her grab his hand with one of hers and his tie with her other hand. She pulled him back down for another heated kiss. She was always so timid like she wanted it more if he was in charge. And she did - sometimes. 

Her hand was still grasping his and she lightly ran it down her inner thigh from her knee. His breaths started becoming shallower and Hermione had to bite her lip in order to hold back the moans that would spill out with him kissing her like this and his hands on her. He stalled his hand when he could start to feel the heat coming from her center. 

“Hermione, this-” 

“Is something I want. Look.” Hermione had looked down at herself and saw that her basic white cotton underwear had started to change from its perfect white to the dark semi-transparent color her wetness was creating. He moved his fingers closer as the rumbles in his chest told her he wanted her. 

Hermione was so close to feeling his fingers on her aching clit she was trembling with anticipation. It would get complicated again sure, but they could handle it. 

“Remus?” Professor McGonagall called out. 

Shit. Hermione couldn’t remember if she cast a locking charm or a silencing charm, but she knew she only did one. It didn’t matter as the two quickly righted themselves. The deputy headmistress would be making her way up to the office any minute. Professor Lupin sat at the desk frantically looking for something to do. Hermione grabbed the new book from her bag and flipped it open to a random page, hoping with everything, that it would be school age appropriate. 

“Remus, I, oh Miss. Granger I wasn’t expecting you.” Professor McGonagall took in the scene in front of them. Lupin sitting at his desk, firmly pressed against the edge to hide his obscene erection under the tabletop, Hermione standing on the side of the desk. Close enough to point things out to him in the book they were looking at, but a distance fitting a teacher-student relationship. 

“Sorry, Professor. It’s just I got this delivered at lunch and wanted to show Professor Lupin here as I want to use it for our term project.” Hermione smiled sweetly at her. Professor Lupin could see her youth and innocence in that moment and it made him cringe at his lewd behavior. 

“Well, I have to say, Remus your final and term project will be no match for Miss. Granger here.” Professor McGonagall came and sat in one of the chairs opposite Lupin. 

“Well, if her paper is any indication than you’re right. I find myself a bit worried she’s not being challenged enough.” Professor Lupin moved his hands as if it was a passing thought. 

“Oh, I don’t know I think she might be getting quite the course workout this year.” Professor McGonagall smiled at Hermione as if the time turner was just their little secret and Hermione returned the gesture. 

“Well, how about I leave this book here and we can pick this up on Tuesday?” Hermione looked at Professor Lupin for confirmation. 

“You don’t want it for weekend reading?” Both teachers look shocked at her turning down fresh pages. 

“Honestly, I would love to, but I have quite enough reading to do and I have a feeling that none of it will get done tomorrow.” Hermione leaned over and gave McGonagall a high five that she was giddy to return. “Goodnight, Professors! I’ll see you both at the match tomorrow.” 

______

No one in Gryfinndor tower could go to sleep or stay asleep. At midnight the majority of the House was still up until Oliver shouted ‘bed’ at his team and the rest of the students followed. Even with the late night the common room was once again overflowing with bodies by the 7:00am breakfast call. Hermione was able to get some reading done because for as loud as everyone was last night the common room was practically a hospital waiting room this morning. It’s like if someone talked they would jinx the match. 

At 11:00 after breakfast and a really terrible pep talk from Percy, Gryfinndor made its way to the pitch. The pitch was covered in green and red. The stands were beyond packed as everyone in Hogwarts appeared to be there as well as notable alumni and scouts. Hermione and Ron squeezed next to Dean and Seamus who both had their faces painted. They somehow managed to get in the stands diagonal from the Professor’s stand. Hermione pointed out to Ron how happy Professor McGonagall looked. Ron pointed out that even Snape looked like he wouldn’t contemplate suicide today. Hermione wanted to tell him off for serving such a tasteless joke, but she had to admit it was a bit true. 

The whistle and the loud cheer told Hermione the game was on. She watched as Harry immediately took off towards the sky looking around for the golden snitch. Malfoy seemed to take another approach searched low first. The truth was, Malfoy was a good seeker. Harry got all the attention because he made the team first year, but first years aren’t encouraged to try out. Ron had told her all this as she was asking why Slytherin had entered the Cup at such a disadvantage. Malfoy had been catching the snitch took quickly ending the games. Now Gryfinndor only needed to be up by 60 points and Harry could win it all. 

About twenty minutes in and Hermione was itching to pull out her Potions book. She needed to know this theory. Snape cared more about theory behind potions and would take the most marks for getting it wrong. He already assumed most of his students were too stupid to complete a potion. When she scanned the pitch again she couldn’t help but land on Professor McGonagall who was still smiling from ear to ear watching her students. Every once in awhile she would have to remind Lee Jordan that the microphone wasn’t a place to name every curse word he knew. Her eyes landed on the familiar earthy green. She smiled even larger at him and he smiled back. She assumed that this was okay since people were distracted and it was a big day. Not that they had anything to hide anymore anyway, Hermione thought. 

She was able to watch for another ten minutes, but after that it felt like her brown eyes kept meeting green. The third time it happened he looked down for just a second and Hermione couldn’t help the flash from yesterday of her legs spread apart on his desk and her telling him to look at her wet panties. Her academic discovery had her adrenaline rushing and she got carried away. He had tried to stop her, per usual, and she pressed on, per usual. None of that mattered to her as looking at him she could practically feel his finger tips moving down her inner thighs reaching for her heat and giving her what she’s wanting. 

Hermione stared at Professor Lupin determined to get his attention. It took some time as he got involved in the game and talking with McGonagall. He finally looked back over at her and seemed surprised to find her looking at him so openly. So brazenly. Keeping eye contact Hermione told Ron she would be back, not that he heard her or would notice her missing, and walked towards the steps that would lead her down. She didn’t break eye contact until she was  just about walking down the stairs. 

She took the steps slowly. Each step the noise of the crowd became an echo chamber around her. Not quite as direct, but you hear it everywhere. Halfway down the steps she heard them. Heavy footsteps that she knew would belong to a tall muscular man. She stopped at the bottom and sure enough there was Professor Lupin still halfway up. She gave him what she hoped was a coy smile and then instead of walking straight out of the pitch she made a hard right in to the pitch. 

Professor Lupin was right behind her. When he opened the curtain there she stood. He froze for a second before looking around and following her in. She took his hand and walked him through what felt like a maze of wooden beams. 

“This is too reckless, Hermione.” Lupin said while still allowing her to pull him forward. They reached a part of the pitch that Lupin didn’t know existed. He spent many a times in these walls as well and yet he had no idea that this place was here. 

Hermione brought him to a small clearing. Only big enough for 4 or 5 people. The ceiling was 7 feet high. Lupin could stand, but he felt like he should hunch. There was a railing that went across and a shimmering curtain just beyond that. Clearly whatever this was for it was so the occupants could see out, but the outside could not see in. To the side there were folded chairs, but Hermione leaned her body against the wall. 

“I found it last year before going under. I read here during the matches. That way I can say I’ve gone, but don’t have to get too distracted by the noise.” Hermione was looking at him directly. 

“Is that what you wanted to do here now? Read?” Professor Lupin made a spot for his body directly across from her. Hermione couldn’t help but take him in. It was unseasonably warm today so all he had all were his trousers, a long sleeve cotton t-shirt, and his robes. He even wore trainers which was uncommon for the professors. 

“No.” Hermione smiled at him. “Although I probably should. Last match of the year is a big deal. Usually that’s when you see all the other students start freaking out about finals. I feel somewhat prepared. I have my revisions ready for the next two months. I should be okay.” 

“Two months.” The time frame rolled off his tongue as he looked out at the match. 

“Less then. Can you believe it? Everything that has happened since September 1st. I never would have… time is such a crazy thing. Especially when you mess with it.” Hermione had left her side of the wall and was bent over the front railing looking for Harry. Spotting him she had looked over her shoulder at Lupin. 

“No, I can’t. I didn’t know life could be like this.” Lupin stayed on his side of the wall. 

“Would you do it again? Knowing everything you know now would you still say yes when Dumbledore asked?” 

“He’s already asked again.” Lupin couldn’t help the mischievous look in his eye. 

“Professor Lupin?” Hermione had an edge to her voice that this is information she would need now. 

“He’s asked me to come back on next year.” Lupin smiled down at his shoes. 

“And you said?” Hermione had stood up fully and was facing him. Still keeping her distance. 

“Yes, of course.” At that Hermione let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She bit her lip so she wouldn’t smile so brightly at him. 

“Well, that’s good, but it’s not what I asked.” She turned back around and resumed her bent over position on the front railing. 

“Cheeky girl. Yes, I would do it all over again. Maybe not every part exactly the same. But there are some parts I wouldn’t change.” Lupin stood next to her. Facing her. Her face level with his stomach. “Hermione?”

“Yeah?” She flicked her eyes up at him. She could feel her eyelids getting heavy from want. 

“We should talk about yesterday. I want to understand before we move forward any further.” 

“You don’t want it to happen again.” Hermione’s voice fell flat and she looked out. 

“I do. That’s where the problem is. It would seem that if we don’t stay away from each other we get reckless and if we do stay away from each we get even more reckless. I’m saying we need to pick one and fix the recklessness.” Lupin put his hand on her shoulder. 

“I think I know. I know, I know.” Hermione kept her eyes forward. “I know I don’t want to stay away from you. Brutal honesty?” 

“Brutal.” 

“I think it was worse trying to work with you and not just trying to break into your bed or get you to feel me up.” Hermione had stood to have the conversation. 

“I see. Why?”

“Your mind. Working with you. Arguing with you about the vampire theory. Getting the book and reading it to you. The argument was like these bases the girls keep telling me they get to with the boys. Reading the book with you and discussing the changing theories. Watching you turn over the source and information in your brain.” Hermione was rubbing her hand through the hair at his temple. 

“It made me wonder if I would feel that good having sex with you.” 

“I wish you wouldn’t say such things.” Lupin lowered his face and let his lips lightly kiss her inner wrist. 

“Why not? It’s how I feel. Wanting you to touch me like that. It didn’t go away. You just stopped acknowledging it.” Hermione gave him one of her minx like grins. She was right of course. After they had decided to stop their affair she would still sit in class and think of him. Sometimes the smallest things like him taking off his robes or pushing up his shirt sleeves would cause Hermione to ruin her panties and rush back to her room to change. Lupin could smell it. He just didn’t want to give in. She asked that of him. It didn’t stop him from fisting himself in the shower or a couple of times at his desk in his office thinking of that night she laid on the sofa, perfect glistening tits out, and stuck her fingers down her leggings. 

They both needed a moment. They looked out at the railing while they tried to calm down. Lupin doing his best to will his erection away and Hermione getting annoyed at herself cause now her panties were getting uncomfortable from the cool stickiness. As they were watching the map they saw a Slytherin attempt to physically assault Katie Bell. Lupin jumped up and down, yelling, and shaking his fist. 

“They can’t see you, Sir.” Hermione giggled at him. 

“Of course they can’t. The point is that they can feel your spirit. How much you care.” Lupin looked outraged that she would even question such a thing. 

“You think Madam Hooch is going to make a call because she can feel your passion, Professor?” Hermione kept up her giggles. 

“Why do you still do that?” He had moved his head to the side and was looking at her in wonder. 

“Do what?” Hermione really had no idea what he was talking about. 

“Even when we’re alone you still call me Sir or Professor or Professor Lupin.” 

“Two weeks ago in class you told me to do something and I almost called you Daddy. Would that be better?” Hermione could feel the sexual tension in the air as soon as she said it. She had heard girls say it on the telly before, but she didn’t think it was a real thing. 

“Hermione, you do realize dicks can reach a level of hardness that it becomes painful right?” Lupin’s eyes had blown. The green a mere circle around the blackness.  

“That’s not true,” Hermione rolled her eyes and waved off his lie, “that’s true?” Hermione looked horrified. “And I cause you that pain?” 

“Are you asking if you have the ability to make my dick that hard? Yes, love.” Lupin moved to stand behind her. He ran his hands up and down her arms listening to her breathing get shallower. 

They stood like that for a few minutes watching the game. It seemed like Harry had found the snitch, other times it seemed Draco had. Hermione couldn’t see anything as she had to close her eyes when Lupin put his lips on her neck. He had never really initiated contact like this before so it was a welcomed advance. He started running his fingers up and down her body. Lightly over the growing roundness of her hips and harder over the dip of her waist. Occasionally, he would caress a hand over her belly swooping lower and lower never taking his lips off her neck. 

Hermione’s toes were curling and uncurling so hard she thought for sure they would break in her shoes. Her legs were shaking and she thought they wouldn’t be able to support her if this carried on much longer. She thanked herself for skipping on a typical bra and instead opting for a thin bralette. The material was softer so her harden nipples wouldn’t hurt as much when they strained against it. She wanted Professor Lupin to take one of his hands to her breast like he did almost two months ago now. Just as she was about to use her own hand to cup herself she felt his strong fingers ghost over the front of her jeans. It was a side swipe and Hermione felt like she was losing it. After several second of his roaming hands he did it again, but this time it was up and down the zipper. Hermione’s head fell back as he kissed down to her collarbone. She knew no one would be able to hear so she let the moans and gasps come out of her however her body wanted it. 

“Can I do this?” Her Professor whispered in her ear. 

Hermione nodded her head as much as she could. All of her brain cells were trained on his fingers. She didn’t know where to press her body. She wanted to go forward to chase his fingers, but she wanted to go back where she could feel his cock hard on her ass. Hermione felt like her senses were being overloaded.

“Yes, please, Sir.” She was finally able to squeak out. 

Just as smoothly and lightly as everything else he put his fingers on the button of her jeans and popped it. He was running his teeth over the skin of her neck; no doubt wanting to leave bite marks behind, but knowing that wouldn’t be wise. Lupin made quick work of her zipper and folded the material back to allow him to see the light pink thin cotton panties she was wearing. 

“Hermione, you know these are much too thin. Practically see through.” He kept whispering in her ear. That alone had the poor girl on the verge of breaking. 

“I know, but you would be more effected by my smell with these than others. So I got more of them.” Hermione smiled. 

“Naughty. Watch the match, love. You might have to tell me what happens while I focus on other things.” 

Slowly Lupin dipped two fingers down into her jeans above her panties. He was able to reach back all the way to Hermione’s gushing core and lightly apply pressure dragging his fingers slowly back to the front. The whimper that left her was so delicious Lupin repeated the motion twice. 

“Please.” Hermione was pleading in her normal out of breath voice. She wanted it, but didn’t know how to ask for it. Unfortunately, in that moment Lupin realized he needed to hear it. 

“Tell me, Hermione. What do you want me to do?” Lupin whispered in her ear. Then he brought his head up so she could look into his eyes. 

“I,” Hermione licked her lips, “I want you to use your fingers on me. Please. I can’t do it myself. It doesn’t work. I need you.” 

Lupin loved seeing her like this. Face flushed, breast heaving up and down, he could see her nipples through her shirt and he wanted so badly to circle his tongue around them. However, Hermione telling him that she needs his hands on her warm cunt he started to question if he was actually still alive. Maybe he had died and gone to heaven. He would be revisiting what she meant by saying she couldn’t do it herself. 

He put his lips back on her neck sucking a little harder, but still not trying to leave a mark. He ran his right hand down her belly and dipped his fingers into her skin to get beneath the pink material. She was hotter and wetter than he could have imagined. Lupin would never say he had many women, but he wasn’t a stranger to them either. He always felt that they acted more aroused than they were. Hermione, this wasn’t faked, her body and mind wanted him.

He repeated the same motion as before, but he carefully stopped himself from pushing his fingers into her. As much as she said she wanted this the first time he felt her heat wrap around any part of him wasn’t going to be in the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch. He swirled his fingers around collecting the thick liquid and brought his fingers up her clit. She instantly bucked into his hand and he used his free hand to hold down her hip. 

Lupin experimented with different strokes until he found one, a medium circle that leaned slightly to the left, that she liked the best. Hermione had fully let herself go to the pleasure. She was saying all types of things when she wasn’t making noises with her head thrown back on his shoulder. 

“Oh my god. Professor, so good, please” Hermione’s little pleads were one of the sweetest songs he had ever heard. He couldn’t help but rock his hips against her bottom enjoying the friction it caused. Hermione was back to moaning switching between guttural nosies and calling on a deity. 

“Professor, please, I think I’m going, so close, oh Malfoy.” Hermione let his name drop from her mouth. 

“Excuse me?” Professor Lupin said in her ear. He didn’t stop his movements as that would be cruel, but he couldn’t help the hurt that forced the question out. 

“Look, Malfoy, oh god, Harry.” Lupin looked to where Hermione was trying to point. Malfoy had grabbed Harry’s broom. “Bloody git.” 

Lupin chuckled at Hermione’s name calling, while also moaning his name. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea that Hermione has called out for three different boys during this session. 

“Didn’t realize I’ve competition, love.” Lupin was back at her ear. He licked the earlobe. He released her hip and brought his hand under her shirt to play with one of her breast tweaking and rolling the nipple. 

“No, Professor. You. Need you. Fuck. I want…you…inside me, oh yes” Hermione had stopped making any noise and her whole body went tense in his arms. 

“Harry Potter has caught the snitch! Gryfinndor wins!” 

“I’m coming!” Just as it was announced that Harry had caught the snitch Hermione dug her head into Lupin’s shoulder and let out a scream that turned into various moans. Her breathing completely stopped and her hips started humping into Lupin’s hand which he gladly accepted. Her come down was slower this time. Probably because her orgasm was stronger. Her whole body was pressed against his and her hips had slowed to a stop against his hand. He slowly slid his fingers out and up. He could see her perfect juices shining on his fingers and he wanted so badly to pop them into his mouth and savor the taste of her, but he didn’t want to scare her. 

Hermione was looking up at him through heavily lidded eyes. He knew she would be getting sleepy soon, but she had to make an appearance on the field and at the party in the common room. 

“Come on, love. You need to get out to the field.” He dressed her quickly and helped her stand. Walking her back to the curtain helped her fuzzy brain come into focus. She gripped his hand tighter and pulled him backwards before he could pop his head out and check the aisle. 

“What, love?” 

“It’s so I don’t make a mistake.” 

“What?”

“The reason I don’t call you by your first name. You never told me I could and it’s so I don’t make a mistake and say it in front of other people. And…” Hermione pressed her lips together looked down blushing. 

“Now isn’t the time to be self-conscious.” He place a finger under her chin to lift her face up. 

“I don’t know. I like the idea of keeping it to your title. Cause you know more than me in Defense Against the Dark Arts and you know more than me when it comes to sex. So it seems fitting? If you don’t like it I’ll stop!” Hermione looked concerned at the idea that she was bothering him. 

“Oh, Pet, we have so much to talk about just from today.” Professor Lupin was laughing at her. Hermione couldn’t help but smile at the idea that she was brining him joy in some way. 

After she got one, or several, more kisses from her teacher he stuck his head out and deemed the aisle clear for her to walk out. She quickly made her way to the pitch where she was just in time to see the full celebration and made her way to Ron’s side where he was pushing people out of the way to get to Harry. 

The three of them stood in front of each other and just screamed. Harry threw his arms around both of them in a hug. All around Gryfinndor’s were cheering and crying and screaming. The party tonight was going to be crowded and loud. 

Hermione could not have been happier. 

Chapter Text

Third Year - Finals 

That night, as predicted, the common room was absolutely insane. Seamus and Dean kept their face painted as long as possible until Parvati’s snogging made it impossible to ignore the smears anymore. Katie and Angelia were retelling the game play by play to any first year who would ask; completely enamored by the girls. Oliver Wood was sitting in his corner by the practice pitch and would occasionally just stand up and shout ‘victory!’ before sitting back down. 

Hermione had meant it when she said she wasn’t going to study tonight. She loved watching Harry and Ron enjoy themselves. Harry was receiving well deserved praise and Ron couldn’t get enough of the attention from his dorm mates about him following in the Weasley tradition and joining the team. 

Around 11:00 that night Professor McGonagall came in to break the party up. Seeing the downtrodden faces of her students she agreed that just the first and second years had to go off, much to Ginny’s protest, but the rest of the House could keep it up - within reason! 

Hermione was beginning to think she would call it a night as it had been quite the day. Her smiles being mistaken for the team’s win and not the true source being her Professor’s fingers on her body. Almost every part of her had felt his hands in the last 5 months. She was desperate for more and knew this is how they became reckless. 

“‘Mione, you finished?” Fred had come up beside her. She tipped her glass back and smiled at him. 

“I am now. What’s up?”

“How about you sneak out with me for a second and we can grab more of these? I hear you’re a great look out.” Fred was smirking at her while shaking a few empty butter beer’s at her. 

“Fred, whatever do you mean? I would never break a school rule like that!” Hermione did her best to look shocked. “Unless it was for a really good reason.” 

The two, without telling anyone, quietly made their way through the castle towards the one eye witch passageway. Hermione was surprised by how quietly Fred was able to move considering how ungraceful most of the Weasley’s always seem to her. Full of love, but loud. 

“What did you think of the match? You didn’t stay the whole time.” Fred asked her as they got closer to their location. 

“I was there.” Hermione smiled up at him. Ron was well on his way to being just as tall as the twins. 

When they got to the passageway Fred said he could just duck in and grab them and then they could magic them back. Just as Fred had his hand on the tapestry they heard Mrs. Norris’s pitter pattering. Hermione was sure she wouldn’t mind her, but the cat and Filch hated the twins. Fred grabbed her hand and pulled her behind the tapestry. Never having been in this passageway before she was surprised by how small it was. 

After a second, slow reflexes probably due to the four butterbeers she had already consumed, Hermione realized that Fred was still holding her hand. They were standing very close together. While he was tall he wasn’t as tall as Professor Lupin so Hermione’s head came up to his collarbone. He smelled of the burrow like cinnamon, firewood, and lemons. 

“Fred?” Hermione whispered up at him. 

Fred slowly leaned down and placed his lips on Hermione’s. It was so tender and soft. He moved his lips just as slowly, just as softly. His kiss was as sweet as he was to her. Her mind didn’t catch up before her mouth responded. It only lasted a second before she broke it. 

“Hermione. Fuck. I’m sorry. We’ve been drinking.” Fred stammered out his apology and tried to move as far back as he could, but not finding much relief. 

“It’s okay.” Hermione reassured him and was surprised at the small breathy laugh that escaped her. 

“It’s okay?” Fred took the little step forward to regain ground. 

“I mean I understand the mechanics of drinking and what it does to someone’s inhibitions and sexual needs.” Hermione used her textbook voice. Hoping that would put him off. 

“So you’re here because you have sexual needs and the butterbeer is giving you courage?” Fred was smiling at her while he ran his fingers up her arms. She didn’t like it. It wasn’t like Professor Lupin at all. 

“I don’t know? I don’t know much about that. ” Hermione needed to get out of this. Play innocent bookworm the guys don’t like that, Lavender and Parvati had said. 

“Hm, if you don’t know about your needs I could teach you. I know a thing or two.” Fred had leaned down and was kissing her jaw just as sweetly as he did her mouth. 

“Yeah, I know.” Hermione was much to loose lipped for this conversation. Her statement of knowing seemed to throw Fred off as he leaned back to look in her eyes. 

“And what do you know? You must tell me.” Fred would always have that humorous glint in his eye. 

“No, I shouldn’t. Fred this isn’t, it can’t,” Hermione had to find a way out of this, but he seemed happy to be here with her. Maybe she could embarrass him into letting her go. Praying that he would forgive her, Hermione pushed forward, “I mean, I know you know about…needs.” 

“Any more details?” Fred whispered. Hermione bit her lip and knew she would have to say it. 

“Over the summer… I, okay, I walked in on you at the Leaky Cauldron and you were, you know,” Hermione tried to move her hand, but it was too dark, “you were touching yourself.” 

Considering how small her voice was at the end she was surprised by how loud his laugh was. 

“How did I not know this?” 

“I stayed really quiet. I wouldn’t ever tell anyone!” Fred thought it was hilarious. Hermione was sure her body was on fire from humiliation. 

“You stayed… Hermione, did you watch?” Fred was trying his best to look like he was going to scold her. 

“Fred, we should get back?” Hermione asked him. 

“Right, right. This has been quite the day. Well, you let me know if you ever want an encore performance.” 

“I don’t know, I think I’m… I don’t know.” Hermione needed to go to bed. She was going to say something that would not end well. 

“Well you find me if you ever do know. You’re a treasurer Hermione Granger. A real treasurer.” Fred laughed while getting the cases of butterbeer and exiting the tapestry. Hermione just rolled her eyes and followed behind him. 

As soon as the pair got back to the dorm room Hermione said her goodnights and went straight up to shower and go to sleep.

It felt like the Gryfinndor’s celebrated their Quidditch Cup for two weeks straight. For at least a week of that any time Oliver Wood entered the Great Hall the table would shout ‘Captain!’ 

And over that two week period Hermione was growing more and more frustrated. The fifth and seventh years were getting ready for their major exams so they were taking up more of the professor’s time. That meant that her original agreement to meet with Professor Lupin on Friday’s had gone into effect and their times had been taken over by the older students needing one on one time with their teacher. 

It was now Saturday evening. Two weeks after the Quidditch Cup. She had received almost zero alone time with Professor Lupin. Almost zero because technically they were alone when he closed the door and she was taking out her notebooks. It wasn’t helping that one of the students who was coming by the most was the same seventh year Ravenclaw who’s shirt was always unbuttoned pass dress code. Desperate Hussey. Hermione was not enjoying her thoughts. 

Exams were in four weeks. She was suppose to finish this term project three Fridays ago. It was completely messing up her revisions schedule. She was glaring around the room. When her eye contact landed on Malfoy even he looked taken aback by her anger. She kept looking around until she met Professor Lupin’s gaze from the teacher’s table. The way he looked at Snape and then back at her told her they were talking about her. She turned her eyes on her Potions Master to find him also looking at her. She could see him mouth ‘mental’ at Lupin. 

“Hermione?” Harry’s calm voice called out to her. 

“What?” She snapped at him. She was doing something. 

“You’ve made sawdust on the table with your butter knife.” Harry averted his eyes to where her knife tip had disappeared into the table. 

“Fuck,” Both boys looked startled at her language, “Harry, I need the invisibility cloak tonight. Can I use it?” 

“Sure, but you have to be careful. Professor Lupin took my map so if you take the cloak off he’ll see you.” 

“Yes, okay. I’ll make sure I keep that in mind.” Hermione gritted out. 

That night after 10, with Lavender and Parvati asleep, Hermione snuck out with the cloak in hand. Quickly throwing it over herself she made her way to the DADA hall. She thought about just knocking right on his door, but for some strange reason she was concerned that he wouldn’t be alone. Quickly shaking off the thought she tapped her wand on the stone outside of his tapestry. And she waited. She was waiting too long. She was just turning to leave. 

“Hermione? Are you there?” Lupin had come to open the tapestry. 

“Hi.” Her nerves disappeared when she saw him. Cotton sleeping trousers. Black t-shirt. She walked pass him with determination. 

She made her way inside and tossed the cloak over the sofa. Eyeing it, if he knew what it was he didn’t say. 

“I’m very happy to see you, love, but this is not wise. Students have been coming to me at all hours. The other professors and I have frequent meetings to discuss changing timetables and-“ 

Lupin stopped speaking when Hermione took off her outer robe. Underneath she wore the tiniest sleep shorts she could find, a light pink camisole in the same shade as her panties, and knee high socks. Her hair was already down. 

Kicking off her trainers she took a step towards him. 

“Surely, even if they do come you don’t let them in here.” Hermione waved her hand around the seating area. 

“Unfortunately, that is what I mean. Hermione-“ He said her name in a growl. 

“On this sofa?” She walked back towards the side of the sofa and ran her hands along the back as far as they would stretch. She allowed her back to go with her hands and rise up on her toes. Keeping her head down she turned to face him. 

“Yes, on that sofa.” His voice was deep. She was working him over. “Hermione, last night was the full moon. I really don’t think you should be here. If you keep this up I… I won’t be able to control myself.” He was taking deep measured breaths. Clearly trying to calm himself. 

“But surely you don’t let them back here into this room.” With that Hermione disappeared into his bedroom. He followed immediately like a dog. Irony being what it is. 

She had laid herself back on his bed and was stretching out. He came to stand at the foot of the bed. 

“Professor, I’m afraid I have a problem and if it’s not fixed I do believe I’m doomed for finals.” Hermione reached her hands over head allowing her lower back to arch just a bit and the camisole to pull up just an inch. 

“Well I can try and help you, but I would need you to describe it to me. Don’t leave one detail out.” Lupin hadn’t moved at all. He was staring at her body and clenching his fist. He was concerned that she didn’t understand how out of control this situation could get. While she always referred to him as Professor very rarely would she do it in a way that would bring their student-teacher dynamic into their sexual explorations. 

“You see, I was meant to have a partner assignment this term,” Hermione had lowered her hands and was caressing them up and down her stomach, “but as of late I seem to be forced to work solo. He’s too busy working with other partners.” She let her lips rest in a deep pout. 

“Sounds like a stupid prat, love.” Professor Lupin licked his licks flickering his eyes between her hands and her legs stretched out towards him. 

“Perhaps. I was thinking if you could teach me, well then, I wouldn’t need a partner and could finish all by myself.” She knew she looked wanton and lusted filled. Probably desperate and too eager, but after two weeks of not having his hands on her body she was. 

“It’s not like you to not be able to complete a task on your own.” Lupin nearly choked when Hermione pulled her feet up so her knees were bent and her legs fell open. “Miss Granger, where are you knickers?” 

“I thought it would be best if you could see the problem, Professor.” 

“Go on then. Show me.” 

Hermione had moved her hands to the tops of her knees and was slowly stroking her thighs. Her cotton shorts left very little to the imagination especially with how they had ridden up and pressed so deliciously to her dripping cunt. Lupin wanted nothing more than to lay down, face first, and have his fill. In time, hopefully, if she keeps him, he would be able to do just that. For now, Hermione was grazing her fingers over the center of her shorts and letting out the smallest gasps. 

“Well, the first problem you’re having is the barrier. You need to take those off.” He could feel himself turning. Sexual need was rising in him as her scent invaded the room and his voice was reflecting that even to his ear. 

Hermione carefully lifted her hips and pulled down the shorts that stayed stuck to her center just enough to make Lupin groan in need. Hermione scrunched her eyebrows together but pulled them all the way off when he told her to keep going. She went back to moving her fingers up and down and swirling them around gathering as much of the wetness on two pads of her fingers as she could. She worked them back up to her clit and began to rub them in a large circle all around. Her eyes stayed on Professor Lupin even when the shocks of pleasure wanted her to throw her head back. She wanted him to tell her what to do so she wouldn’t have to admit that she really didn’t know how to orgasm by herself. 

“That’s good, Hermione. Keep going. I want to watch you make yourself cum.” His eyes were dark and focused on her hand. She had been lying on his bed for all of ten minutes and already her wetness had ever so slightly dripped down on his duvet. The sight of her lips glistening as her small fingers worked through them - he needed to get control. 

“Professor,” Hermione’s hand had stilled and her eyes told him that she wasn’t pretending anymore. 

“What, love?” He moved to the side of the bed to lay with her. A nearly impossible feat considering what her little show had done for him, but if she needed a time out he would do that for her. 

“I really… I’m sorry,” Hermione threw one of her arms over her face to cover up the blush and her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see him. 

“Hermione, what it is?” He put his hand on her arm prying it away from her face. 

“It’s just that… I don’t actually know how to you know,” Hermione gestured her hand up and down her body, trying to nonverbally answer the confusion on his face. “I don’t know how to make myself…cum. I’ve tried a lot! But it doesn’t work. I thought you maybe would-“ 

She was cut off by Lupin kissing her deeply and passionately. She could feel his erection on her leg and she had to fight herself to not roll over on top of him and grind herself against him.

“Okay, love, put your hands back to where they were,” Hermione moved her fingers back to the center of her body to gather more wetness before running them up to her clit and circling them again. “Okay, try slowing down. You have to find what works for your body, but that means speed, tempo, movement. I now know, for a fact, that you like smaller circles, yes like that, that lean slightly left.” 

Lupin tried to stay in teacher mood. It was getting hard the more the girl next him whispered his honorific and he watched as her legs shook from following his instructions to get herself off. 

“Use your other hand to play with your nipples.” Hermione met his eyes as her other hand came up and pulled one of her tits free. The nipple already hard and the perfect mound sitting in the candle light. She wet her fingers and moved them down to roll the bud and pull it between the two digits. 

Lupin took it upon himself to free the other one. He couldn’t help himself when he leaned down and took it into his mouth. Her moan and the feel of her hand on the back of his head was worth it. 

“Oh fuck, Professor, so good.” Hermione’s fingers had started moving faster on her clit. Lupin continued sucking her nipple into his mouth, gently biting down, until he heard the faintest of whispers from his girl that she was going to cum. 

“Cum for me, Hermione. Cum all over your hand for me.” His voice was rough and needy. He needed her to cum and be satisfied so he could calm down. 

Just like that he felt Hermione’s hand in his hair clenching and pulling his hair taunt. The slight sting of pain sending even more blood to his raging cock. Her moans were all around him. Surrounding him as his name fell from her mouth. He could feel how rigid her body was next to his and the moment she took in a deep breath on her way back down. As her body went slack he rolled on to his back, smiling up at the ceiling. 

Before he could get his second breath she was on top of him. Straddling his thighs and pulling her top above her head. While she was still wearing the knee socks Hermione was, for the first time, completely naked. 

“More, please.” Her whimpers broke the silence in the room. Lupin drank in her body like a man dying of thirst. He was on the verge of breaking again. 

When he made no move to touch her Hermione reached her hands down and ran one along his hard length. His sleep pants did very little to conceal his erection and Hermione wanted to see it again. She continued the motion of running her hand up and down over the cotton material feeling how his cock would twitch in her hands. His eyes were closed, but she didn’t know if it was in pleasure or restraint. Feeling bold she removed her hand only to push it through the slit in the front of his pants to grasp him for the first time. At that his eyes shot open at the same time a moan left her mouth. 

“Hermione, you don’t have to.” He could barely get it out, but he needed her to know she could stop. 

“But I want to?” She looked down at him in worry. Her hand stilled. Then a look of realization hit her. “You don’t want to me.” 

She made to get off of him while trying to cover herself up at the same time. Lupin grabbed her hips and ground her down on his thigh. The friction causing her to whimper from the pleasure on her still wet clit. 

“You have no idea how badly I want this. How badly I want to see you working your hand on me. Are you sure?” His eyes were full of desire as he looked up at her. She nodded her head full of excitement. 

“Can you lift up so I can…” Hermione put both hands on his hips and made to pull his trousers down. She lifted herself up so they rested around his knees. Once settled again she placed her hand back on his shaft that had sprung free. It was standing straight up, almost coming towards his stomach. She began moving her hand the same way that she had watched him move his on the office sofa. Slowly, carefully. 

After a minute or so Lupin reached down and gripped her hand around him harder. She quickly got the idea that he preferred this and moved her hand with the renewed grip. She made note to run her thumb over his head, enjoying his wild moan as she did, and spreading the clear liquid up and down with her hand. She watched as the new slickness cause him to close his eyes and push his head back. She had a thought. 

“Professor?” Hermione was moving her hips just a bit in time with her hand - up, down, up, down. 

“Hm?” She didn’t say anything until he was able to open his eyes and look at her. 

“Is it wet enough for you?” Hermione asked, but had a devious smile on her face. 

“So good, Pet. So fucking good.” He maintained eye contact when all of sudden she removed her hand. He groaned and bucked his hips up trying to trace the contact. Hermione thought he was going to lose it when she took her hand down to rub it against her aching cunt. She couldn’t help but give her clit a few swirls as the build up was happening again. Coming back up with her hand covered in her own wetness she went back to gripping his large cock harder and faster. 

“Oh fuck.” His eyes had gone completely black. Hermione felt powerful. She was causing him to have this reaction. She knew he was trying to restrain himself, but she needed more. She took one of his hands from her hip and moved it up to play with her breast hoping he would understand that she wanted him to take his pleasure from her just as she has so many times before. 

She wasn’t sure when she started inching her way up. One minute she was enjoying the manly sounds he made as she was jerking him off, next she was so close to his hips she could feel the head of his dick on her belly button. He stopped his movement of rolling a nipple between his thumb and finger. 

Hermione lifted her hips up, “Please?” 

He knew what she was asking, but he didn’t think she really understood what she was asking. In one fluid movement that Hermione forgot he could do at anytime she was pinned to the bed underneath of him. She was trying to move her hips up against his to gain as much connection as possible. 

“Please?” Just as she said that she was able to move her hips in a way that cause the head of his cock to dip into her folds. They both let out their moans with Hermione clawing at his t-shirt covered chest in a silent plea to take her. 

“No.” He sat up on his knees. “Not tonight, Pet. Now touch yourself.” 

She whimpered out a protest, but did it anyway. He watched as she moved her hand down over the few thin soft light brown curls she had and drug her fingers back up to circle her clit. 

“Do this.” He took her other hand and showed her how to keep his lips open so he could watch every movement her small fingers made. 

Staying in that position above her he took his own hand and picked up where he stopped her. Moving quickly up and down he knew he wouldn’t be able to last with her completely naked beneath him whimpering shamelessly as she worked her fingers against herself. 

Within seconds it seemed they were both coming hard for each other. Hermione heard him call her name and felt his hot cum hit her stomach and just a bit on her nipple. Her own second orgasm pulsing though her. Lupin lost his battle with his balance and laid down next to her on his back. After several moments of both of them gathering their breath he rolled on to his side to look at her. She stared into his eyes and then slowly ran her finger over her still hard nipple and gather his seamen and slowly popped it in her mouth. The same thing he wanted to do two weekends ago. 

“Are you trying to kill me? There are less cruel ways.” He smiled at her with adoration. Hermione couldn’t believe she got to be in his bed and know him in a way no one else in the castle would ever know him. 

“I needed to see you.” Hermione turned serious and ran her hand into his hair. 

“And I, you. Once finals are done-“

“There’s summer. Do I get to see you? Write to you?” She stated. She knew they needed to talk about it. 

“Of course you can write to me. Why wouldn’t you? Seeing each other. That I don’t know about. We’ll have to think about it.” He did look like he was thinking about it. 

“It’s just… I don’t know if you’ve thought about, not that I’ve been thinking about it too much, but just wondering if you had considered, or maybe wanted to mention, if not it’s fine-“

“Hermione, what?” He chuckled at her while rubbing his fingertips up and down her back. 

“It’s only that don’t two people, who see each other the way we do, don’t they call it something?” The way he bristled she wanted to take it back right away. “Let’s not talk about it. It can wait. It’s late and we’re tired.”

“No, if you’re thinking about we should talk about it. I knew this would come up, but I honestly haven’t put much thought into it. I care about you a great deal Hermione. Much more than I thought I would ever allow myself to care about someone. But, I think I owe it to you, and selfishly, to myself to prove that I can be there for you before I ask you to agree to anything.” 

“I… actually kind of agree.” She smiled up at him shyly. “I like this thing we have. We can talk about it more over the summer?”

“Yes, summer. We can work all of that out, love.” He pulled her body close to his. Feeling their nakedness touch sent jolts of electricity through her. 

They talked off and on for about an hour until she could barely keep her eyes open. She wanted to ask him why he still insisted on taking it so slow, but she couldn’t bring herself to be alert enough for that conversation. Sadly, she made her way back to the common room and fell asleep.

May passed so quickly Hermione was deeply concerned she had used the time turner wrong. Finals were happening and she was so stressed she had nearly slipped up. The boys had seen her finals timetable and grilled her about it until she snapped at them so harshly they looked too scared to talk to each other for the remainder of breakfast. 

Her DADA term project was completed no thanks to her Friday meetings with Professor Lupin. She tried every Friday to stay and the most she got was two creatures and several kisses before they would get interrupted. Hermione got so sick of the Ravenclaw girl coming to his door that last week she charmed her voice to drop to a baritone. Rumor had it the girl ran out of the classroom and spent the whole evening and the next day crying. Hermione pretended not to know anything when Lupin shot her a look the next day at lunch. 

With her mind so focused on exams she really began to feel like she was cracking up. She was getting deeply concerned that if this is how it was in third year how would it be in fifth and seventh when she sat her major exams? She would have to have a serious conversation with Professor McGonagall after the year ended. While she was almost positive that she was acing her exams the stress was causing her to actively fall into bad habits of not sleeping or eating and chasing teachers through the halls. 

It was time for the DADA final and all the students were instructed to hand in their essays before partaking. It was one of the best finals Hermione had ever heard of. Lupin was a genius who actually knew what he was doing. All of the students, even the Slytherins, looked excited to participate in it. 

The trio decided to go last and were watching as their classmates made their way through. Each students faced different challenges, but Hermione was amazed at how well they were getting through it. No doubt a testament to their fine teacher. Malfoy was the first student to get through it with an Outstanding. His House clapped for him. Falling behind everyone Hermione met his eye and smiled at him just enough for him to see it. She could have sworn his smile got bigger at that. 

Harry was next and of course made quick work of it. His natural abilities and all. Professor Lupin looked thrilled for him and congratulated him most of all. 

“Alright, Miss Granger you’re up!” Professor Lupin smiled at her and clapped as she began. So far so good. 

She reached the box with the boggart. She entered but she didn’t feel anything in there with her. She almost turned around to tell Professor Lupin that the creature, as boggarts were known to do, had slip out of its confinement to find a more public space when in looked like the door opened and closed just a crack. 

“Hermione?” Professor Lupin’s voice called out. 

“Oh, Professor I was just about to come get you-“ Hermione started 

“Couldn’t be in here without me, huh?” Professor Lupin approached her. 

“Ha. Ha. No, I think-“ 

“Hermione, I wanted to tell you while we have a moment how much fun I’ve had this year with you.” He was so close to her. 

“Professor, this doesn’t seem like the best time the others will be wondering-“

“Please, let me get this out. Coming to Hogwarts I didn’t think I would be able to meet someone like you.” His eyes were so kind. His smile the same warm smile she loved. 

“I know exactly what you mean.” She tried to reach for his hand, but he took a step back. 

“I don’t think you do, Hermione. You see, I’ve never met a girl who is so smart, so bright, and yet so fucking stupid at the same time.”

“What?” Hermione shook her head thinking she heard him wrong. 

“I can’t believe how much you cry about everything, about anything. And yet there you are still pounding on my door to let you. Tell me something does that little cunt of yours get as wet for Professor Snape as it does me? I think it does. I think you want someone you can call Daddy. You joked about it not too long ago don’t you remember?” 

“Stop it.” Hermione whispered. 

“Did you think I didn’t see you two in the corner of the tower on New Year’s Eve? Whispering? Probably telling him all about how good a little slut you can be.” 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“But you came running to me. What a shame I didn’t get to rip open that cunt when you presented it to me last month. I should have. The way you would have screamed.” Professor Lupin laughed at her. 

“Why are you saying this to me?” Hermione was crying. She didn’t understand. 

“Because you need to hear it. Come on Hermione. You have to understand. You’re cute for a fourteen year old. But you can’t do anything for me. You didn’t even have it in you to ask me about my secrets. Deep down you don’t want to know.”

“That’s not true! I want to know you-“ she was screaming at him. 

“You’re so sweet. But, dear, I don’t want to know you.” Professor Lupin looked at her the same way he looked at Crabbe or Goyle when they tried to answer questions in class. Patient, but completely stunned by the lack of intelligence. 

“Please, stop!” She was screaming at him. Why was he saying these things to her? To hell with the exam she had to get out here. Hermione ran for the door crying and screaming. 

She felt the sunlight in her eyes. 

“Hermione!” Professor Lupin was coming towards her. She didn’t understand. How did he get there when he was in there? He came up to her put his hands on her shoulders. She couldn’t stop crying. 

“Hermione, what happened? What did you see?” Harry asked her. 

“I, um, Professor McGonagall. She told me I failed everything.” She told Harry. She looked up at Lupin and met his eyes. He knew she was lying. 

“That’s okay, Hermione. Got sit down. Exceeds Expectations is something to be proud of.” Professor Lupin directed her towards Harry while dropping his hands from her. She could feel the quick circle he made with his fingers on her back. 

As she walked towards the others she chanced a couple of glances back at him. He was looking at her instead of Ron who was on the course. 

Later, after everyone had finished, Professor Lupin told the class how much he had enjoyed having everyone and how we was looking forward to seeing them next year. He dismissed them 30 minutes earlier than expected and said goodbye to those individuals who approached him. 

“Miss Granger, a moment please? Check in with me.” He waved her over and dismissed the others. 

Hermione took a breath and tried to steady herself. She knew she would have to tell him what she saw, but she felt guilty and she knew he would feel the ever burning shame of being her biggest fear. 

“Can you tell me what happen?” He sat down next to the lake after everyone left motioning for her to join him. 

“I told you what happened.” Hermione stared out as the sun reflected off the water. 

“Lying to me is how you want to end the year?” He turned to look at her. He had never sat with her, looked at her, so openly in public before. 

So, Hermione told him. Every detail. Even the ones she didn’t think she had it in her to repeat. Even the ones where he openly grimaced and looked ill at the word choices. 

“In fairness, they are words you would use.” Hermione mumbled. 

“Yes, love, but not in that way. It’s demeaning.” Professor Lupin was speaking to her like this in public. “And you can ask me anything. I would tell you the truth.” 

“The thing is, Sir, I don’t think that’s true. I’m not afraid of asking you any thing. I’m afraid of the answer. I’m afraid of knowing that you’ll lie to me before telling me the truth. And I’m afraid that you already know things that you think I shouldn’t know so you haven’t told me.” Hermione looked at him. 

“I suppose that could be.” Lupin assented. “But Hermione, I’m asking you to trust me. Trust that if I haven’t told you something yet it’s because I’m just trying to find a way to.”

The two sat there for sometime watching the sun begin to set. Quietly, they got up and made their way back into the castle for dinner. Neither spoke.

“Harry, are you sure?” Hermione questioned him again. 

“I’m positive.” Harry was pacing. He had just told Hermione and Ron about the vision Trelawney had after his exam and was sure he needed to do something about it. “She said tonight. We have to do something. I need the cloak.” 

Harry was growing more and more frustrated by the seemingly dead ends. Hermione watched him move about the common room in a fury. She knew she could help, but worried that her help would bring more questions than she could answer only causing more problems than they were already facing. Then again, if it meant saving Buckbeak…

“I’ll get the cloak.” Hermione stood and exited the common room before the boys could say much else. 

Lucky for her Professor Lupin was in his office grading essays. He was looking up at her by the time she reached his door. 

“Hermione, you should be off having fun with your friends. What are you doing here?” He looked concerned. 

“Professor, I need Harry’s cloak.” Hermione was short and to the point. 

They were staring at each other. Assessing what to say and how much truth to give. 

“I don’t think you need it, Hermione.” Professor Lupin looked down at his papers effectively dismissing her. 

“Professor Lupin. We need the cloak. There are things… I’m sorry, there are things I haven’t told you.” Hermione watched as he put his quill down and stood. He gestured to the sofa so they could sit together. 

Hermione sat down and after a moment of composing herself she launched into the explanation of Harry seeing Crookshanks with a dog that looked like the grim on the grounds at night. She told him about Trelawney’s prediction and how whatever was going to happen would happen tonight. 

“Please, if there’s something you haven’t told me now is the time. It’s Sirius isn’t it?” She searched his eyes. She knew there was something there. Maybe he didn’t know that she already knew Peter Pettigrew was still alive? Surely, he would have thought that Harry would tell her everything. He said nothing to her. 

“Then I need the cloak. Now.” 

He seemed to turn something over in his head and then nodded, stood, and disappeared. When he came back he held the cloak and handed it over. 

“Thanks.” Hermione stood up from the sofa and moved towards the door. There was a divide between them, but she could only take so many steps forward if he refused to take any. 

“Hermione, I…” He wanted to say something, but either he couldn’t or wouldn’t. 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Hermione couldn’t think about this right now. She had to get back to the boys. There was no time for her to get involved in another round of their half truths and unspoken words. 

Hermione rushed back to the common room to find the boys. After receiving many compliments from Ron they made their way down to Hagrid’s. They were stopped in their tracks as they saw the executioner raise his axe and swing viciously effectively severing Buckbeak’s head. 

Even through all the appeals and letters back and forth it always felt like there had to be hope left. Now. Now it was just done. Hermione couldn’t help the overwhelming since of failure that had taken root within her. She was so busy with everything else she didn’t even stop to think about what else she could have done to help Hagrid. 

Just then Hermione spotted something running along in the grass towards them. Running behind it was her cat Crookshanks. 

“Ron, look!” Hermione stooped to pick up Scabbers and handed him to Ron. “I think you owe someone an apology.” 

"I’m not apologizing to him! Look at him, still trying to kill him as he runs for his life.” Ron shouted at her cat. 

“I meant me you absolute twat.” Hermione was livid with the ginger. So obtuse. 

Crookshanks jumped up and dug his claws into Ron’s leg forcing a yelp out of him. Hermione couldn’t help the smirk that appeared on her face. Her cat was desperate for the rat, but she didn’t know why. Crooks was climbing up Ron’s body and Hermione tried with all her might to get him to release his grip.

“What is going on?” Harry had come over to her side to help with his claws, but one swat made him back off. 

Hermione couldn’t tell if Scabbers jumped or Ron dropped him, but the three of them watched as Scabbers ran towards the willow tree and scampered in. 

“The grim! The grim!” Harry was shouting beside her. Hermione froze in terror. Her whole body was telling her to run, but she couldn’t move. Ron, on the other hand, took off after Scabbers narrowly missing a flying branch. The grim and Crookshanks ran after him. Harry tried to follow, but Hermione was able to grab him by the arm. 

“Harry you realize what tree that is, right? Please we need to think about this! Let’s get Professor Lupin. He’ll know what to do.” 

“Hermione, no, we need to go. Ron’s already in there.” 

“Harry, please Lupin would know-“ She was pleading with him half tempted to leave him and go get the man who could calm her fears. 

“I’m going. Are you coming?” Harry looked at her like he needed her and against her better judgement she took off with him. 

After a strenuous fight the two were able to fall through a tunnel made of stone. They began walking through the long dark passageway. Finally it opened up to a wooden structure. When they got through the door it closed behind them. It looked like it was reinforced. 

“Harry, I think we’re in the Shrieking Shack.” Hermione said as she looked around. She noticed all of the claw marks around the walls and floor. She knew the rumors that it was haunted, but this didn’t look like ghosts. It looked like someone was fighting or trying to escape. 

They made their way up the stairs to where they could hear Ron half screaming half moaning. Harry opened the door to find Ron laying on an old sofa. The whole room dimly lit and covered in dust. Ron’s leg was bleeding profusely as if the grim had attacked him. He was screaming out that the dog had in fact bit him. 

“It’s him. It’s Sirius Black!” Ron screamed while pointing at the door. 

Hermione couldn’t believe it. There in the flesh was Sirius Black. The man responsible for Lily and James Potter’s death. Who took her best friend’s parents away. Who had been terrorizing the whole castle all year. Then a white rage moved through her. This was the man who isolated her Professor all those years ago. The man who turned people against him and left him out. Who convinced their side that Lupin was dark because of something that he didn’t ask for, but that was done to him. After all they had shared together. The map. Lupin had the map. 

She just had to stall and she knew Professor Lupin would come for her. He would be watching her on the map. If she could just make everything slow down. 

“If you want to kill Harry you’ll have to go through me.” She snarled at Black. Harry rushed past her in an attempt to choke Sirius. The two scuffled back and forth. Surely if Black had been in his prime he would have bested Harry without issue. She just had to get them calm down. Lupin will come to save her. To save them. Hermione jumped into the fray only to get punched in the mouth by Black. She stumbled backwards and fell to the ground bleeding heavily from her lip. 

When she was able to concentrate she looked up to see that Harry had Black pinned against an old piano. They were exchanging words back and forth with Black saying something about being guilty, but not of his charged crime. Harry raised his wand shouting about avenging his parents when Crookshanks jumped on Black’s chest. Hermione could feel herself let out a dry sob that racked her chest. 

“Harry, please.” Hermione croaked out. He looked at her for a second. She saw it in his eyes that he would do it. He would kill her familiar in order to do what he wanted. What he thought was right. He wouldn’t spare a second thought to how Hermione would feel about it. But then Black reached around gave Crooks a friendly pat on the head and moved him off his chest. Even when the cat tried to protest by clinging to him Black told him sternly to go on. 

“Expelliarmus!” Professor Lupin’s voice rang out in the room. Harry’s wand flew from his hand. Hermione let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. She was about to say something. Something to him to let him know that everything else didn’t matter as she knew he would come for her. For them. 

But then she felt her wand fly from her hand too. She stared down at her empty hand  where the wand use to be looking at it as if it would reappear again. Slowly she looked up at him to question why he would take her wand. He told Harry to move away from Black. Harry let him go and he fell to the floor. Lupin had his wand trained on him. Perhaps he didn’t want them having to do anything they weren’t ready to do at such a young age. 

“Well, well Sirius finally the madness within is reflected.” Lupin was taunting him. Hermione couldn’t help but see the pain in his eyes at coming face to face with the man. 

“You’d know all about the madness within.” Sirius was laughing at him. 

Next thing Hermione knew Sirius had jumped from the floor and was hugging Lupin as if they were long lost brothers returned from war. 

“No.” Hermione whispered. 

“What is this?” Harry screamed at them. “I trusted you!” 

Professor Lupin looked over at the three of them. Quickly assessing Ron’s damaged leg, he glanced over Harry, and finally his eyes settled on Hermione. She knew she must look a fright. Her hair wild. Her lip busted with blood smeared down her face. 

“Who hit Hermione in the face?” He asked the room. 

“She got in my way.” Black spoke nonchalantly behind him. Professor Lupin rounded on him eyes squinting. 

“Sirius, you always took things too far.” Lupin admonished him. 

“I take things too far? Don’t forget dear friend you aren’t the only one who can smell out the truth. And her’s is all over-“ 

“Enough” Professor Lupin cut off Sirius’s taunts. “We’re here to do something.” 

Here to do something. The two of them together. Hermione couldn’t breathe. She knew it all along. The boggart had only confirmed what she already suspected. What she had tried to ask him about at the lake and he told her to trust him. He was helping Sirius Black. This whole time. It’s why he came back. To help him into the castle. Was everything he told her a lie? Was he only using her because she would tell him things Harry wouldn’t? All the things he said to her late at night when it was just the two of them. None of it was real. Hermione tried to force air into her lungs, but it felt like her mouth was covered and she was being slowly suffocated. This was it. This was the hurt he told her he would cause her. He knew it was coming and he warned her. Stupid, foolish girl. 

“No!” Hermione screamed at him. Finally finding her voice she took a step forward brushing off Harry’s hand as she made her way towards Lupin. 

“I don’t believe it!” Hermione was screaming. It was taking everything in her to not completely fall apart. The lies. The nights. How he touched her. All of it ran through her head. 

“Hermione-“ 

“You and him! You were planning this-“

“Hermione calm down. I can explain-“ 

“I lied for you. I covered up for you. I never told anyone. Harry don’t believe a word he says he’s been lying to you too. He’s a werewolf.” Hermione shouted. If he was going to betray her then she was going to give as good as she got. Harry gaped at her as if she had lost her mind. 

“It’s why he’s been missing classes.” The emotion from her voice gone. 

Professor Lupin looked at her with the same betrayal she felt reflected in his eyes. For a second time stood still. He just looked at her. 

“How long have you know? I must say Moony you’re getting careless in your old age.” Sirius sounded delighted behind him. 

“Shut up, Sirius.” Lupin looked over his shoulder. 

“Hermione? Are you sure?” Harry’s voice hurt her to hear. 

“Yes, his boggart is a full moon. It’s why Snape set the essay.” Hermione never took her eyes off him. 

“You really are the cleverest witch of your age, Hermione.” Sirius couldn’t help himself. 

“No, I’m not.” Hermione could’t help the tears at having to admit that she had been fooled. She never took her eyes off of him. “If I had been cleverer I would have told everyone what you are. What you did-“ 

Shame. It was back and all over his face. Hermione so badly wanted to out their relationship, their fake relationship, to everyone. To see the looks when she told them of the nights spent in his bed or his hands all over her. She couldn’t do it though. He knew what she was thinking and that was enough. Why she felt the need to protect him like this she didn’t know. 

“Please, Hermione I can explain.” Did the others see what she saw? The plea not just from a Professor wanting to defend his loyalty to the school, or of a once unknown friend of Harry’s parents who believed in vengeance as well, but the plea of a lover. Someone who knew what they shared. “Let us explain together.”

Black was eager to take Scabbers and destroy him, but Lupin demanded that they tell the trio of his, and their, story. 

Hermione sat there and listened as Lupin relayed how he was turned at only four years old as revenge against his father. Even in her anger Hermione couldn’t help the sadness that filled her at the thought of little Remus being alone in his bed and attacked. He spoke of how his mother, once adoring the wizarding world, became run down by her son’s monthly changes. His father beat himself up and never stopped blaming himself. Both of his parents watched as their son stayed isolated and alone. 

Until Dumbledore showed up. Said they made special arrangements to have him at the school and would provide all necessary comforts. The Whoomping Willow was planted and the shrieking shack was built. Lupin went there every month and would be taken care of a doting Madam Pomfrey who still favors him to this day. It didn’t take long for his three friends James, Sirius, and Peter to figure out where he was going every month. He swore them to secrecy and they stayed by his side. He finally had people in his life. 

“I never thought I would find someone to care about the way I did them.” He looked at Hermione when he said that. She looked down at her hands not ready to make a decision on the situation. 

Lupin explained how the other three became animagus’s and how it ultimately helped Sirius escape from prison. He talked about the cruel joke the boys played on Snape in fifth year to which Sirius let out a huffed ‘oh please’ but didn’t say much more than that. Hermione couldn’t help the glare that crossed her features at hearing an in-depth story of how someone was tortured at their hands and Lupin just stood by and watched. It felt all too familiar. 

Lupin explained how they kept so much from Dumbledore. How he never told anyone that Sirius was the dog running around the grounds as he didn’t want Dumbledore to know that he took advantage of the gift he gave him of admitting him to Hogwarts and then letting him become a teacher. 

“So lying, secret keeping, betrayal? This is just part of who you are? Who you’ve always been?” Hermione spat the words at his feet. 

“Damn.” Sirius remarked behind him before putting his hands up in mock surrender at her look. 

“It wasn’t intentional. But yes, I suppose. It became a habit. And habits are hard to break. When you spend the majority of your life so completely alone - and I mean alone, without anyone - you crave being around people. Even if you can’t look yourself in the mirror. Even if you only ever feel shame when you’re with those people.” Lupin looked morose at his admission. 

Hermione snapped her head up at his use of the word she had told him she saw on his face all those months ago. Shame. It was a word that was describing so much of her year at Hogwarts. 

Lupin went on to explain that after he left Hogwarts and the war was over he had nothing. No prospects. No friends. He left his father alone. It was impossible for him to get meaningful, paid work, and as such he never made friends again. Hermione already knew this part, but the lump in her throat of thinking of him being alone most of the time in his cottage for the last thirteen years burned all the same. He said the loneliness and the anger at Sirius was eating at him. He wouldn’t take the potion, which was fine as it was impossible to get anyway, so he would change every month and beat himself up. 

So when Dumbledore gave him the opportunity to come back to Hogwarts he had convinced himself that he was making the right choice by not telling him of how Sirius would be getting into the castle. 

“I knew a lot of my choices were wrong this year, but please believe me that I thought I was making the right ones.” Lupin looked at all three of them this time. 

Sirius took over this part of the story. He explained how Peter was the secret keeper for Lily and Jame’s house. He grew emotional talking about how he had convinced himself, with Peter’s help, that Lupin had turned. How Peter transformed and was waiting for the moment when Voldemort would return and he could be reunited with his master. Hermione tried her best to listen, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Lupin and his choices. He was saying that she was a choice and he made it. He owned that. He could have made another one. Loneliness drove his decision to come back, but he made a real choice with her. 

Just as Ron had handed over Scabbers, Lupin and Black about to prove to them their story, Snape ripped off the invisibility cloak and aimed his wand right at Professor Lupin. On instinct Hermione threw her body in front of his. 

“No!” Hermione shouted at him. 

“Move you insolent girl.” Snape growled at her. 

“No, you have it wrong Professor. There’s more to this-“ Hermione had to convince him. Knowing Snape he would take his perceived notion of justice in his own hands. 

“You might want to think before you speak again. You’re already facing suspension, but I myself wouldn’t mind it becoming permanent.” 

“Go on. Go stand over there with Harry and Ron.” Lupin had put a hand on her back applying delicate pressure. Hermione turned to look at him. 

“Professor, I-“ what could she say? Nothing in front of their current audience, but he would know. 

“Go on.” He smiled warmly at her. If Snape did anything to him would he know how handsome she thought he was? How kind and gentle? 

Hermione walked back and her fear for Lupin’s safety quickly turned to boredom at the three of them squabbling. She looked at Harry and threw her hands up mouthing ‘honestly?’ at him. Harry slowly bent down and picked up the wands. He handed one to Hermione and with the other he cast a disarming spell so powerful it knocked Snape backwards into the bed where he laid unconscious. 

“Oh my god! Harry! We’ve attacked a teacher.” Hermione started muttering to herself about attacking the teacher. “We’re going to be in so much trouble.” 

Her ability to breathe was starting to leave her again until professor Lupin put his hand on her arm. 

“It’s okay.” Their eyes connected. Hermione couldn’t help but believe his story. She wanted to thinking rationally, but something was telling her that he was being honest. 

“What happens next?” Hermione asked him. 

Black and Lupin cast a spell to turn Scabbers back into Peter and another fight ensued. Peter begged for their mercy after trying to frame the other and pit them against each other. Harry finally admitted to believing the story himself and Peter cried out that everyone was lying, but him. 

“You should have known we would do this.” Black raised Ron’s wand at Peter. 

“Together.” Lupin growled at the short man. 

“Wait!” Harry shouted them. 

“Harry, this man-“ 

“I know what he did. But if you do this-“ Harry was shaking his head. Becoming a murderer was not something you could walk away from so easily. 

“It’s still murder, Professor Lupin. That’s not you.” Hermione spoke to him while pulling on his arm to lower his wand. 

“We’ll take him to the castle. The dementors can have him.” Harry looked at the three of them; Hermione nodded her head in approval. 

With a plan in place Harry and Sirius took up Ron between them and started the long journey back to the castle and to the hospital wing. Hermione can hear the laughter start up as soon as they’re down the stairs. 

Lupin had bound Peter and put a silencing spell on him so he can’t speak to either of them. For good measure he adds a spell to prevent Peter from being able to hear anything. 

“What should we do about Professor Snape?” Hermione ask while looking at the dusty bed. 

“Just leave him. He’ll figure it out.” Lupin checked his pulse and pulled back. “Hermione, I-“

“I don’t think now is the best time to talk. This man is here. We need to get him back to the castle.” Hermione had her hand up to prevent Lupin from coming any closer to her. 

Quickly Lupin charmed a blindfold over Peter’s eyes. 

“Please? I’m sorry. I almost told you a hundred times, but I just couldn’t. I had already told you more than I’ve ever told anyone.” Lupin was looking into her eyes. He looked exhausted. 

“Why didn’t you? You were embarrassed? I get it, but Professor Lupin I wasn’t just some friend or trollop you met. I thought I was more to you.” Hermione knew her face was crumpled in pain. 

“You are. You are so much more to me, but I have very little to offer you. This secret. These last thirteen years have taken so much from me. And I’m still a werewolf. And you’re right I am ashamed of myself.” 

“You had a lot to offer me. The truth for one. Your confidence. Protection. Support. Affection. Love.” There was a pause in the air after the last word. “I won’t pretend to understand what your life has been like just hearing some of those things… But Professor it isn’t your life now. You have to decide if you can move on.” 

“And if I can move on? If I can start to really deal with it. Is there a chance?” He took her hand in his brushing the thumb across her knuckles. 

“We need to get him down. We should get him to the castle.” Hermione walked out of the door and down the stairs. What was she suppose to say to that? She needed to think on a night where she wasn’t harboring a fugitive and turning in a killer after having attacked a teacher. 

As she exited the tree she crouched down next Ron to check his leg and told Harry to go and talk to Sirius. Ron’s leg was in bad shape and he desperately needed to see Madam Pomfrey. Her body was rocked forward as two chubby hands gripped her shoulders in a vice like grip making her cry out. 

“Get away from her!” Lupin snarled at the rat man. The look in his eye made Hermione question if he had given up on the idea of murder like she had asked. 

In all the chaos of the night they all must have forgotten that it was a full moon. A low groan alerted Hermione and Ron that their Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was not doing well. He had bent over and was clearly in pain. Hermione, having never seen him transform before was shocked into terror at how painful it looked. Lupin looked like every bone in his body was breaking and his skin was ripping off. Sirius had tried to ask if he took his potion and to get him to calm himself, but it was for not. The wolf was out. 

“Professor Lupin?” Hermione took a step close to him. 

“Hermione, don’t” Ron whimpered behind her. 

“Sh. Professor Lupin.” Hermione stuck her hand out to the wolf which he sniffed vigorously. He seemed to relax just a bit while looking at her before howling aggressively head tipped all the way back. So much for your partner calming you, Hermione thought. 

He looked poised to leap through the air at her when a dog, that she now knew was Sirius, came from the left and jumped on top of the wolf pulling him down a small hill. They heard and watched as the two animals tried distracting and fighting the other. Except this fight didn’t look like friends in the woods. This looked like animals fighting in the wild. In the midst of that Peter had gotten hold of a wand and transformed himself back into a rat making his escape. 

The sound of a dog yelping rented the air. Hermione and Harry watched as Sirius transformed back into his human shape and stumbled, bloodied, through the forest. They barely looked at each other before they tore after him. 

They tried to get him to wake up when they reached him by the lake. His bleeding was out of control and he was knocked out cold. That creeping cold feeling set in and looking up Hermione saw hundreds of dementors were flying over head. They had spotted Black. It didn’t matter as Dumbledore’s words came back to her “there is not difference between the one they seek and the one who gets in their way.”

Harry was calling for her to think of a happy memory. She tried to think of Lupin kissing her for the first time, but it shifted to him harshly pushing her against his bookcase and calling her a foolish girl. She tried to think of their New Year’ Eve together, but it changed to the six weeks of him watching her get bullied and ignored. That feeling of isolation pulling its way up through her feet all the way to her head. There was no way to shut out the lies and hurt that this year had brought. And then there was just darkness.

Hermione woke up bleary eyed to darkness. The bright light and sanitized smell of the hospital wing overwhelms her as she sits up trying to gain her bearings. She looked over at Ron who is already up with his legged wrapped talking nervously with Madam Pomfrey. 

“Oh, Miss Granger!” Madam Pomfrey hurries over to her to run diagnostics and check for any external injuries. Finding none the three wait for Harry to come around. 

It felt like ages as Hermione sat there thinking over every thing that had happened in the last three hours. Only three hours. She couldn’t believe so much could be revealed. Professor Lupin had told her some of those confessions in the shack already, but he had spoken in half measures so did it even count? Why didn’t he tell her that he knew how Sirius was getting around? She basically all but told him she already knew he only had to confirm it. Instead, he said he would handle it, but he didn’t. Turns out the most active participant in his break ins was Crookshanks. 

“I saw my Dad.” The first words out of Harry’s mouth. 

The three discussed what happened at the lake and where Sirius was now. Professor Dumbledore turning up and advising them that they wouldn’t be trusted because of their age. The line like a punch to the stomach for Hermione who had already battled her age all year. How is it that Lupin could trust her enough to do what they had done, but not to confide her. 

“How could you keep this from me, Hermione?” Harry was asking her. She couldn’t tell if he was confused or angry. She needed to get out of her head before she messed up their mission. Two lives can be saved tonight. 

“I’m sorry. It was only suppose to be for classes. Nothing interesting. And the rules. They’re so complicated… I don’t even know if we should be doing this now.” Hermione yelled over her shoulder as they took off toward Hagrid’s. 

She quickly explained how they would have to work together to go unseen and they must only change as little as possible. They couldn’t interfere with more than they had to. Harry was incensed at the idea of not being able to capture his parent’s killer when he had him in sight. 

Standing outside of Hagrid’s hut Hermione had to remind herself that screaming at Harry would only draw attention to them. She just needed to calm him down. 

“Harry.” She hissed at him. “If you go in there they’ll think you’ve gone mental. Dangerous things happen to wizards who mess with time.” 

He was finally able to calm down enough that they were able to free Buckbeak, on a close call, and go to the forest to watch the scene unfold at the Whomping Willow. Hermione watched as Professor Lupin walked up to the tree and immobilized it. Is this where he was still going during the full moon? There was so much he never told her. Did she really give him a chance? Snape followed behind him sometime later. 

“And now we wait.” Harry whispered as he sat on the forest floor. 

“And now we wait.” She echoed and sat beside him. 

Harry told Hermione of his theory that it was his Dad who saved him at the lake. That the dementors had sucked out Sirius’s soul and right before they could take it his Dad had come to save them. Hermione, already having disagreed once, patted his knee and said the point is that they were saved.

“Hermione,” Harry asked. He was nervous. “Nevermind.” 

“What?” Hermione chuckled at him. Theories aside there wasn’t much more Harry could ask her about tonight that would surprise her. 

“In the Shrieking Shack… You and Lupin… It’s just-“ Harry stared at her. 

Except that. There wasn’t much that would surprise her besides that. Hermione felt her body run cold to the bone even in the warmth of the June air. She couldn’t look at her best friend so she pretended to study the scene in front of her. Maybe if she didn’t say anything he would drop it. Of course not. 

“It’s just that there were a few moments, a few times when you guys were talking that it seemed like, I don’t know, that you two were having a separate conversation” Hermione gave him a quizzical look. She didn’t want him to feel stupid, but she needed to kill this. “It’s like you two were speaking English, but at the same time speaking a foreign language right in front of us and no one knew what you were saying.”

“Harry, I don’t know what you mean. You heard our conversation exactly for what it was.” Hermione looked at her feet pushing around the dirt. 

“What do you think Sirius meant about the truth being out there and your truth being all over?” Harry wasn’t breaking his stare. She knew, he knew that Hermione wasn’t being as forthcoming as she could be. 

“I have no idea. He seemed crazed at the beginning. He wasn’t making any sense.” 

“He was to me. He said he could smell you all over something… or someone.” Harry narrowed his eyes at her. 

“Say what you’re saying Harry” Hermione turned to look him square in the face. Perhaps if she got bold he would back down. 

“Before Lupin took the map I saw you on it. In his classroom. In his office.” Harry didn’t say in his bedroom. For that she was grateful. Either he was sparing her dignity or he really hadn’t seen her. “The map has a way of showing what people are doing. Your names… would often be overlapped.” 

“Harry, is that what this is about?” Hermione laughed openly at him. “Yes, okay, we’re spending time together because of the project. The project I’ll remind you I had to work on with him because of you.” 

Harry had the decency to look guilty at that. 

“As it turns out we have similar interest. And about the names I don’t know what to say to that except that we sat next to each other at my desk in order to share text or read parts of my essay.” Hermione knew in that moment how easy it was to let out a semblance of the truth without actually being honest. After all, everything she said to Harry just now was true. She just didn’t put into words the reasons they had similar interest or why they would sit so close to read together. 

“That makes sense.” Harry was nodding his head while looking out at the willow tree. “It’s just Hermione you seemed so betrayed in there.” 

“Well aren’t you?” Hermione asked shocked that he would question her emotion at the scene that just played out. That was currently playing out. 

“Well yeah of course.” He shrugged his shoulders, “But I have reason to be. You don’t.” 

Hermione couldn’t help the obscenely loud scoff that left her throat. Harry looked at her like she was crazy. 

“You know Harry every time I think we’ve managed to make progress it comes right back to this. You don’t see me as a person. Did it ever occur to you that just maybe in all the time Professor Lupin and I spent together that we were able to develop a friendship the same as you or sure, yeah, maybe different, but a friendship all the same? It didn’t did it?” Hermione studied her friends face as she unloaded on him. “I’m not just some walking library who was sent here to do your work for you. I’m an actual person with actual feelings. I thought Professor Lupin saw that. I thought he saw me more than just a… well I don’t know how he saw me.” 

“Did he know that you knew he’s a werewolf?” Harry looked bewildered. Hermione had often snapped at him, but very rarely would she challenge him and this year she had done it twice. 

“Yes.” 

“And he never told me?” Hermione couldn’t help the smile that appeared at the shock on Harry’s face. “Why?” 

“It was a choice we made. Together.” Hermione looked him in the eye. 

“Okay, Hermione. I believe you. And I’m sorry. You are valuable to anyone as a friend and not just as a dictionary. It sounds like he needs them where he can get them and you two do have a lot in common with the books and stuff,” Hermione mouthed ‘books and stuff’ Harry pushed on her shoulder, “If I’m being honest there’s something that just doesn’t sit right. I don’t know if you’re being honest about everything.” 

“You might just have to live with that Mr. Potter.” Hermione smirked at him. “Look, here we come.” 

Harry and Hermione watched as Sirius asked Harry to come live with him. Even knowing what to expect watching Lupin transform again was just as painful as the first time. Both watched as Lupin and Sirius fought. The once playful banter they spoke wasn’t evident as Lupin’s clearly dominant traits let him get the upper hand on Sirius’s smaller body. She couldn’t let him kill his best friend. Even if neither of them knew that they had been friends for all these years. 

Hermione howled as loud as she could. Before realizing that he would be running straight for them. Luckily Buckbeak was there to defend them and the werewolf quickly realized the fight wasn’t worth it and took off in another direction. Having a clear path ahead they ran after Sirius as he made his way down to the lake. 

“We’re on the wrong side!” Harry swore loudly. 

“No we’re not, Harry.” Hermione grabbed his hand. She tried to get him to see reason. “We’re dying, Harry. All of us.” 

Harry looked at her. In her eyes. In that moment all their fights and petty feelings faded away. He gripped her hand one more time and then darted out to the edge of the lake allowing his feet to submerge into the water. 

“Expecto Patronum!” A great stag burst from his wand and Harry directed it across the lake and fought off hundreds of dementors. As the light faded they watched Sirius soul return to his body and Harry pass out. 

Professor Snape emerged from the woods and summoned three stretchers. Taking less care with the boys than he did with Hermione. Harry turned around and started back toward the castle, but Hermione stayed to watch. 

She watched as Snape sneered down at Sirius. Years of hurt and anguish built up. What did Lupin mean about Lily? Surely, Snape having heard most of the conversation couldn’t blame Sirius for her death? Did he care about her that much? Hermione watched as he gave Harry the same look. Presumably for looking like his father and getting into the same amount of trouble. When he approached her body his face softened. He stared down at her in what Hermione thought was an expressionless gaze. Until he softly moved the hair off of her face and righted her arm by her side. She knew he saw someone else when he looked at her. 

As soon as Snape had cleared the scene and firmly on his way back to the castle Harry had turned back around to tug at her sleeve. He was urging her to move because they needed to rescue Sirius. 

“Hermione, please what do we do?” Harry asked her as they ran up to the tower his God father was being held in. 

Without answering Hermione blasted the gated door off the hinges while Harry kept an eye out for any dementors that hadn’t been recalled by the Ministry. They were able to help him down into the courtyard where Buckbeak was waiting. Harry approached him and seemed to be whispering to him with urgency what he required. With that Sirius was able to bow quickly and saddle Buckbeak with minimal effort for a man locked in prison for 12 years. 

“Harry, we have to go. Harry. Harry.” Hermione tried to pulled him back inside the castle. “Harry, please, you’ll see him again.” 

With that promised proclamation Harry spun and ran with Hermione back up the seven flights to the hospital wing. They were just in time to see Dumbledore walk out the door cutting them off before they could tell him what they had done. Hermione barely had time to catch her breath before she pushed the doors open and saw the last shimmer of their bodies disappear. 

After assuring Ron that he was not in fact going mental Harry and Hermione settled into the hospital wing to retell him what had happened to them that night. They had just finished asking each other their last questions when they realized the sun had risen above the castle and the students would make their way to breakfast for the first day of the last week of school.

“Those dementors did my head in, I think.” Harry groaned as he laid back. Looking over at Hermione he looked like he wanted to question why she didn’t seem to be in worse shape. 

“What?” Hermione met his stare. 

“You just seem… I don’t know you just seem unaffected by hundreds of dementors descending upon us to suck out our souls. Seems like the kind of thing someone might say boo at.” Harry smiled at her, but underneath she could see the worry. If Hermione wasn’t occupied by the dementors she was occupied by something else. 

“Yeah, ‘Mione. You’ve been quiet for way too long. Marks don’t come out until Friday.” Ron was chewing through a biscuit as if they hadn’t just lived through a harrowing night. 

“Ronald, some of us have the ability to keep multiple thoughts in our head at once. I would assume with what we’ve just gone through you would understand that marks would be the furthest from my mind.” Hermione’s voice was shrill and irritating even to her. The lack of sleep was starting to wear on all of them. 

Ron’s blank stare told Hermione all she needed to know about how well he understood her. 

“Whatever. I’m going to get chocolate.” Hermione scoffed at Ron and stood to make her way to the door. 

“Madam Pomfrey has chocolate here, Hermione.” Harry lifted his head to look at the witch who was already halfway out the door. 

“I know where the good stuff is.” With that the door closed behind her. 

She quickly made her way to the DADA hall and into the classroom. She looked around absorbing all the memories that were created there. None of them being happy enough to save her last night, but plenty for the dementors to bring to the surface. Trying to shake it off she walked up the stairs and was happy to find the office door open. She knew where Professor Lupin kept his chocolate, having contributed to the stash over this past term, along with her sugar quills. She went to the bookcase by the fireplace and took down a large box that appeared to be a radio. 

Sitting on the sofa Hermione opened it easily, Lupin adding her to the wards around it even as she rolled her eyes at him, and looked through the box beginning to sort out which ones she thought the boys might like best. She sat on the end of the sofa as she placed something down next to her; her eyes didn’t seem able to tear away from the rest of the cushions that stretched in front of her. 

All of a sudden it seemed that the whole year at had hit her at once. 

The first time she saw Lupin on the train and she felt the first signs of her body reacting to him. 

Lupin watching as Oliver Wood stood over top of her screaming in front of the whole Great Hall. 

Lupin giving her a birthday present and the feeling of her body pressed against his. 

Lupin basically refusing to teach her first term and asking Harry to do it. 

The first time she went to his private rooms and asked him to let himself have her. 

Lupin trying to scare her.

The feel of their first kiss and how his hair felt in her hands. 

Lupin telling her to never speak to him again. 

The first time he invited her to his rooms and she straddled him. 

The way he stood by and let the boys attack her during the dueling sessions. 

Their time on this very sofa where they would get lost in exploring each other and he would bring her to orgasm. How she watched him fist himself while staring at her and telling her she was beautiful. 

Soon Hermione’s mind was mixing up the memories and she couldn’t remember what was good and what was painful. He would hold her, but was that before or after they fought about why he always chose Harry over her. He tried to be there for her, but that was after he watched her waste away, right? She couldn’t tell. 

Coming back to reality felt like a herculean task. Her mind and body were exhausted and she had allowed herself to get lost in the attack of her mind on herself. When she came back to she found herself curled up on the sofa sobbing so hard she thought she would be sick. This year had taken so much from her, but given so much. She couldn’t decide if it was worth it. The lies. The heartache. The desire burning through her. He would barely let her touch him and it wasn’t until this moment she realized that was literal and figurative. 

“Hermione?” A broken voice called for her from the door.

“Go, go away.” Hermione was able to cough out. Whoever it was would have to wait. 

“I would, love, but this is my office.” 

Hermione managed to lift herself taking note of how weak her arms felt. Pure physical exhaustion was starting to set in. She looked up to see Professor Lupin standing in the doorway. The sight before her made her cover her mouth as a gasp escape.

“Oh my god. Professor!” Hermione tried to stand, but he was already walking towards her. 

“Please sit. I’ve been in worse shape before believe me.” He gently pushed her down and sat a respectable distance away from her. She noticed it. 

“Hermione, I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must think of me right now. The look on your face last night it was… well it isn’t something I’ll forget anytime soon. I want to say-“ 

“Don’t” She held her hand up. 

“Let me explain.” He faced her. 

“I don’t think I can mentally process whatever it is you’re about say. And to be really frank Professor, I’m not sure I would actually believe anything you say right now.” Hermione tried to maintain eye contact so he would know she was serious. 

“Of course. That’s fair. Please know, Hermione, you must know you’ve never left my mind.” He made to grab her hand that was resting on the couch between them, but seemed to think better of it. 

“I need to sleep. We both do.” Hermione stood up. Lupin followed suit and walked behind her to the door. 

“Will you come back tom-“

“When I’m ready.” She final in her words. He nodded his head. 

They stared at each other as if the answers to all their problems would appear written on their bodies. Hermione made to turn, but stopped herself. She didn’t know what came over her, but gingerly as he was exceptionally frail at the moment, she moved her hands into his hair watching him close his eyes at the loving tension her soft pulls caused. She pulled him down to her and placed his lips on hers. It had been some time since their kisses had been so sweet. Hermione couldn’t help but think that if this was the last one she would want to convey the love she has for him as best she can. She wanted to believe he wanted that for her as well. 

All too soon she broke the kiss and turned to walk out. She found the dorm empty. She aggressively showered the night off of her and collapsed into her bed.

Hermione awoke with a start the next morning. Slowly, she let her body lay back into the mattress as Crookshanks looked up from his spot on the end of the bed. The previous night, and part of the morning, came back to her. Her face smarted from Sirius punching her in their brawl. Her body overall ached from the strenuous usage. Her eyes and head hurt from the excessive tears spilled on Professor Lupin’s office sofa. She would have to go see him. 

Looking at the time she realized she had missed breakfast which suit her just fine as she didn’t think she would be able to eat with the pain she was in. Settling on heading to the hospital wing to get a pain potion and check on Ron she got ready for the day taking more time than needed to brush her teeth and right her clothes. She changed three times before settling on a white tank top, black leggings, and a long cardigan. The trek to the hospital room was longer than it ever felt before and Hermione almost felt guilty when she saw that Ron was no longer in his bed and the relief of not having to talk to him washed over her. 

“Hermione, dear, finally some sense has landed on you. Come.” Madam Pomfrey didn’t ask her what was wrong. No doubt put out by the girls disappearance this morning without treatment. 

“I thought a pain potion might be good.” Hermione mumbled as she sat on the bed closes to the healers desk. 

“I’ll heal your bruises and lip too.” She walked over with the potion and wand ready. 

“No, please don’t.” Hermione put both her hands up to stop her while lowering her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look in the older woman’s bewildered expression. 

“Why ever not?” The semi kind exchange was over. 

“Last night was… I shouldn’t have been there. I think I need the reminders for a little bit.” Hermione dared to look up at her. 

“Well, at least one of you is talking sense. You know it would do you some good to put distance between you and those boys.” Madam Pomfrey handed over the potion. 

“That has happened before. If I remember all of the staff knew about it.” Hermione’s expression harden. The medi-witch had always been blunt, but never absent minded. 

“Right, well yes. I suppose that is true. Not all problems have easy answers.” She gave Hermione the curtesy of looking guilty about her lack of interference. 

“Anyway, thanks for this.” Hermione drank the potion down and gave the witch a smile. She didn’t really blame her or anyone, well some people, for her year. 

Hermione made her way out of the hospital and allowed her feet to carry her wherever they felt like she needed to go. It shouldn’t surprise her she found herself walking into the DADA classroom. Empty and clean. The school year being over and the kids just waiting for their results most of the classrooms had begun the process of stripping the year off of them and cleaning up for the summer holidays. She ran her fingers over her desk and touched the chair he would pull in front of her. She made her way over to his classroom desk and turned to perch herself on it the way he did so many times before. Is this what he saw when he looked at her? She tried to imagine herself sitting in the front row. The eagerness in which she would look at him. Or the somberness with which she would avoid his stare. 

Slowly, she trudged upstairs into the office that had the door open. It looked as if he had been here already. There were books pulled down and packed. His gramophone had the records packed away ready for transport. She went around and sat at his desk. Slowly running her hands over the wood and down the drawers. She opened them and looked inside, but nothing caught her interest. Harry’s map laid on the desk towards the front. She looked into the drawers on the other side finding more chocolate which she defiantly took a piece of and popped in her mouth chasing away the last remnants of the pain potion. She sat there savoring the sweet with her eyes closed face tilted towards the ceiling. Faintly, she could hear the black lake splashing as the warm weather had made it come alive. There were students screaming as they waded in the shallow areas making sure to stay clear of the living creatures. After all, she had learned that some of the water creatures could be just as vicious as land. Hermione had let the sounds and sweetness overtake her. 

“You really are incredibly beautiful.” 

Professor Lupin’s voice stirred her from her tranquil space. She couldn’t tell if she had fallen asleep or was just actively disassociating from the world around her. 

“Thanks.” Hermione sat up in his chair staring at him. He looked mildly better than he did when she saw him at sunrise probably having gone to see Pomfrey himself. She found she was still letting her eyes wonder up and down just to check if he was still injured. 

“Madam Pomfrey fixed me up as she does. I received quite the tongue lashing for having you kids out there last night.” His tone was light, but Hermione winced all the same at his use of the word kids. 

“Right. Well I should be going. Looks like you’re in the middle of it anyway.” Hermione stood from his chair and made her way around his desk to exit the office. 

“Hermione, please wait.” Lupin took hold of her arm which she quickly snatched away. “Okay, sorry. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I’m just in some pain.” Hermione stared at the floor. 

“A lot? What happen?” He shuffled closer to her. She could feel his eyes on her. All over her. 

“Well, a werewolf chased me through the forest last night.” Hermione deadpanned while finally letting her eyes bore into his. 

“Yes, well I suppose that has an effect.” He moved to perch on his desk. “What can I say? What can I do to make this right?” 

“Honestly? Nothing.” Hermione leaned against the office door that he had closed. She kept her hands in front of her.

“I know you think I lied to you. I didn’t purposefully deceive you. I told you I would handle Black. Last night, it was happening so fast. You were jumping to conclusions and Harry was yelling and Sirius can’t ever shut up and I didn’t know what to say or do. Or how to talk to you.” Lupin let it all out in one breath. His face was pained and he was trying to be honest with her which she knew wasn’t easy for him. 

“In front of them.”

“What?” He turned to look at her still standing by the door. 

“You didn’t know how to talk to me in front of the others. Other people.” Hermione arched an eyebrow at him. 

“Right. That’s right. If I said the wrong thing I knew it would just lead to more questions.” Lupin was rubbing his hands up and down his legs. 

“Did you ever think that not telling me, that putting me in that situation, would lead to questions? Harry may be reckless, but he isn’t stupid. He heard Sirius’s comment about my scent being all over, what I’m assuming he was going to say, is you. He knew from watching us that something wasn’t right - isn’t right.” Hermione felt the anger building within her. For this man to put her in this situation to lie to her best friend. 

“What did you tell him?” Lupin asked quietly. 

“I lied to him, Remus.” His name felt foreign on her tongue, but she knew the point was made when he looked at her like she stabbed him. “I kept your secret for you. Do you have any idea how this feels? How, how dirty I feel.” 

Hermione’s voice broke. Lupin dropped his face into his hands and groaned loudly. She wanted to not cry. She was so tired of crying, but saying the words out loud and having to admit to him that he left her feeling this way did her in. 

“I stood there and defended you. I helped Harry attack Snape for you. And this whole time you had information that could have been helpful. Why didn’t you say that Sirius was Harry’s Godfather? Why didn’t you tell me the night you took the map that you suspected Peter was still alive. You put the whole scheme together.” Her tears gave way back to her anger. She was ranting at him. 

“It isn’t as easy as you’re making it sound.” His voice was low. Dangerously low. Hermione knew where he was headed. He might not shift tonight, but the full moon would still have control of his emotions. 

“Isn’t it? You had this whole story you could have told me. We could have worked this out together. Saved Sirius from all of this, but now he’s in hiding. Harry has to go to his family. Tell me, Professor, do you know what it’s like to be attacked by hundreds of dementors? To have your last thought be that a man you love couldn’t be bothered to teach you the counter charm because he was too busy with someone else?” She was screaming at him and even in her anger hoping that he had cast the silencing charms on his office. 

“You don’t know!” Lupin had stood up at his full height and screamed at her. He had been angry at her before, upset with her plenty of times, but he had never had this type of rage directed at her before. She stopped pacing and stared at him as he moved around the table to stand in front of her. Not close enough to touch her, but enough that she could see his eyes and the anger below. 

“You have no idea what I have lived with. What I have gone through. Being shunned. Watching everyone you love die. Being killed in front of you. Resigning yourself to a life of pain and torture and the worse kind of loneliness you could imagine. You don’t know what it’s like to feel so pathetic. Telling you all of this now… you were right. It’s shame. If I had told you my theory on Sirius and it turned out to be wrong I would be the same 11 year old boy desperate for someone to include me and I don’t want you seeing that. I don’t want you thinking of me that - this way. This poor excuse for a man.” 

Professor Lupin turned towards the window. They both took a minute to breathe and let his words sink in. 

“Just tell me you understand what I’m saying. The half truths. The half stories. You were friends with James and Sirius, but you didn’t say you were best friends with them. The Marauders, right?” Lupin nodded his head still not looking at her.

“They weren’t just people who took you in, Professor, you loved them. Sirius, I saw it on his face last night he loves you too.” 

Professor Lupin released a choking noise, but kept his face turned toward the window. 

“I didn’t want to lose what we had, Hermione. If I told you everything, the whole truth of me and James, Sirius, and Peter I knew how you would look at me. How you’re probably looking at me right now. I know it was wrong, but I reveled in the fact that you knew what you knew and still came to me. Still wanted to sit with me. Talk to me. Touch me.” 

Lupin turned to look at her and was surprised by her face. She didn’t looked disgusted or angry. She didn’t have a look of pity. 

“I don’t want to keep fighting with you about the same things. You protecting Harry by sacrificing me. You not telling me everything. You shutting me out because you think you know how I’ll react. I can’t do it.” Hermione took a step towards him. Wanting to be closer. 

“I don’t know how to do a lot of those things. I don’t have a lot of practice at letting people in. Part of the reason Sirius stopped trusting me during the war was because I would keep things to myself. I wasn’t intentionally withholding it’s just that the information had so much to do with the wolf packs and I was still use to not talking about that part of myself. I guess I should have done.” Lupin looked at her to see her smiling at him. “Hermione, the boys said one day you would go mental please don’t let today be that day.” 

“Stop it,” She swatted at his arm making harder contact than she intended and getting a grunt of pain out of him, “you deserve it. And no I’m not smiling because I’ve lost it. All I want is for you to tell me things just like that. Do you have any idea how demeaning it is to feel like Harry gets to know so much about you, your past at Hogwarts and during the war, while I just feel…” 

“Finish your sentence.” 

“I just feel used. Like the stupid third year who threw herself at you enough times you just gave in and let her take her clothes off.” Hermione’s tears came back, falling over her redden cheeks.

“No! No, Hermione, it was never like that for me. Don’t get me wrong I,” Lupin took a deep breath, “I won’t lie and say that those parts weren’t some of my particular favorites throughout the year, but Hermione, it’s been so long since I’ve been around anyone who challenges their mind. Who wants to fight with me about theory and practical usage. Who wants to learn. It felt like having an equal. I know that makes me a snobby twat, but-“ 

Professor Lupin didn’t get to finish because Hermione had thrown her arms around him bringing his lips crashing down on her. She tried to express to him how much his words meant to her in that kiss. He opened her mouth and let his tongue work in the familiar circles and rolls while also sucking hers into his own. Her hands threaded through his hair. As soon as one of his large hands made its way under her tank top the heat from his skin forced a moan out of her. She could feel her body waking up and she needed to touch him. 

“We shouldn’t.” He broke away from her. 

“And then there’s that.” Hermione scoffed. 

“And then there’s what?” Lupin looked down at her. 

“You constantly pull back. You won’t let me touch you.” Hermione was getting emotional again and she hated it. 

“You still don’t get it.” He shook his head at the young girl. He looked defeated and slumped down on the sofa. 

“So, explain it to me.” Hermione pleaded in front of him. Her knees brushing against his. 

“How many times? How many times will I need to tell you the same thing?” Completely defeated. 

“It’s not that I don’t get it. I just don’t agree.” She was glaring down at him. “God, you’re a dickhead.” 

The name calling took him aback. He looked up at her more than shocked which gave way to a suppressed snicker and then a full out laugh. She once again swatted at him. 

“Hey! I’m being serious. You say you don’t want to do anything you think would put me down, but when I disagree with you you claim I don’t get it. It’s not understanding the concept it is a disagreement.” Hermione plopped herself down next to him allowing her side to press against his. 

“What is there to disagree about?” His laugh ceased and he rested his head back against the sofa. It reminded Hermione so much of the time he let her watch as he pleasured himself to her half naked body. She couldn’t help her toes curling in her shoes and the annoyance she felt as the warmth spread from her core. She knew this was not the time. She answered quickly. 

“You think you’re dark. Something evil who can’t give or receive love. I know that’s not true. No one who’s like that would agonize over this, whatever this thing is, between us like you do. The compassion you show Harry. The admiration you have for Dumbledore. You aren’t evil, Remus.” She put her hand on his thigh giving it a small rub. He hadn’t moved a muscle. She knew he was listening, but his other senses were working just as well. 

The use of his first name for the second time had him lift his head to look at her. He was trying to school his features, but his eye lids were heavy. She could tell he was trying to focus. 

“I’ve done things, Pet. During the first war. After even. Things I can’t tell you about. And I would do them again if I had to.” He was looking at her like he wanted to eat her. Dangerous. Lustful. 

“I believe you. I just don’t care.” Hermione once again closed the gap and connected their mouths as she rose up on her knees bringing their chest’s together. The kiss was passionate. Hot. Needy. Different than some of their others. Similar to so many. Once again, Lupin pushed her body off of his the motion causing her nipples to brush against his t-shirt through her thin tank and bralette. She tried to fight back against his push causing more of the friction. Even in his weaken state he was stronger than her. She rested her bottom on her heels; nipples hard and lips swollen. She opened her mouth to start up, but he cut her off. 

“I want you to touch me, but we’re in the middle of a fight.” 

“This isn’t a fight.” Hermione grumbled while crossing her arms. 

“Don’t pout, love.” Lupin tried to not smirk at her, but her bottom lip sticking out was too cute to ignore. “Hermione, I do want you to touch me.” 

“Then why have you only let me once all year?” This is where their conversations always circled back to. She wanted more and he didn’t seem to want her in the same way. 

“Well, in my defense, the first four months I was dealing with feeling like a pedo.” 

Hermione snapped her mouth shut and sat with her back against the sofa. She opened her mouth several times to say something, but finally landed on just staring wide eyed at her lap. 

“Yeah. Nothing to say? Moving on. We talked about this once. I don’t want you to regret this. I know you don’t want to hear this, but the reality is in all the feelings you’ve had since last night you said you felt dirty from what we did. No, stop, I know you don’t think you feel that way now for whatever reason, but if we were to go further in our… sexual relationship and something were to happen I don’t want you to feel that way.” Lupin put his hand on her knee. Trying to get her to focus. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” His eyebrows came together as he leaned forward to look into her eyes. “Okay, you understand and you’ll believe me to know when it’s time?” 

“No. Okay as in okay I heard you.” Hermione was challenging him. “I’ll never push you to do something you don’t want to do. If you don’t want me to put my hands on your cock or my mouth-“

“Hermione-“ Lupin groaned out.

“Then I won’t. But it won’t be because you think in a month or a year I’ll look back and think oh he’s evil. You’re not evil. In the last thirty minutes you’ve told me more than you have in six months. That means something to me. I’m sorry you feel like a pedophile. I can’t fix that. All I can keep saying is how badly I want this. How badly I want you. Yes, I said I felt dirty, but not because of what you did to me, but because of the situation you put me in. Come on. You have to know there’s a difference between staying a secret because people wouldn’t understand our shared mutual feelings and staying your secret because you’re ashamed of me and of yourself for using me.” Hermione finished her rant breathing hard. 

Professor Lupin was adding his head and rubbing his chin. He kept looking at her like he was going to fight back until his body fell against the back of the sofa and looked over at her. 

“Yeah. Fuck. That makes sense. Alright.” He nodded his head one more time. 

“Alright? Alright, like we can do stuff now?” Hermione smiled shyly at him and moved towards him again. 

“Fuck me.” Lupin murmured. 

“I think I’m trying?” Hermione asked while leaning over and kissing his neck. 

“Okay, okay. Fuck.” Lupin moaned out as her lips landed on his pulse. “Hermione, okay.” 

He pulled her off of him so they could look at each other. 

“We will. Just not right now okay? We’re both exhausted physically and mentally. I don’t know how you even have the strength right now.” He chuckled lightly at her. 

“I read in a biology book once that women tend to aggressively seek out sex when they’re ovulating. I think that’s what’s happening.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders. 

“I’m going to pass away now.” Lupin laughed openly. 

“Sorry.” Hermione threw him a crooked smile and began laughing with him. She cuddled up next to him trying to not to press too hard into his scratched and bruised side. “So, what happens next year now that you wolfed out on school grounds? Is Dumbledore furious?” 

“No actually. Snape did let it slip about my condition though.” 

“Slip? Bastard.” Hermione fumed. 

“Language, Miss Granger.” She rolled her eyes at him. “As it is, Dumbledore said that he thought it might be a nice change of pace having someone with so much knowledge teach the subject.”

“What? You get to stay?” Hermione shouted. “Sorry, sorry, but he’s letting you stay?” 

“Yes. The letters are a bit rough to stomach, but the compromise is I won’t teach the lower level students. Fifth year and above. Dumbledore will bring on a new Professor to teach fourth year and down.” Lupin was smiling so wide. Hermione knew he was happy to have someone defend him. Stick up for him and give him a home. 

“That’s wonderful! This is so great. Next year we… wait a second. Fifth year and above? That means that-“

“I’ve already considered it, Hermione. Dumbledore and I will be creating an advanced class for fourth years that I will teach. It will be much more challenging.” If possible his smile was wider while looking at her. 

“An advanced class? More challenging? Do you know the syllabus yet? Do you know the term assignments?” Hermione had leaned up to stare at him and pepper him with questions. 

“Yes, but Pet, I will be teaching it. You’ll be my student again.” Lupin tried to tell her, but couldn’t stop his laughing. 

“Do you know what text you’ll assign?” Hermione was clearly lost to the idea that they would have more time together next year so Lupin just told her not yet and held her close. 

They sat there for almost half an hour in companionable silence as Lupin slowly magically packed his belongings that would go to the cottage over the summer. Many were staying here as he would retain this office next year. 

“What will you do over the summer?” Hermione asked. 

“Actually, interesting enough, Kingsley Shacklebolt from the Auror department at Ministry has asked that I come on a consultant and train a few of their aurors to deal with wayward beings. They’ve never got proper training before as no one has been willing to out themselves.” Hermione looked up at her man and could see how happy he was. To be working. To be accepted.

“You’ll have fun. You’ll meet people.” She tilted her head back and he received the message that she wanted a kiss. It was sweet and perfect. 

“I will try and see you if that’s something you would want.” Lupin looked shy as he said it. No different than any other boy in school asking a girl to Hogsmeade for the first time. 

“Of course it is. I want to see you all the time. I really care about you, Professor.” Hermione grinned at him because she knew there was still a part of him that didn’t believe her, but also a part that did and it brought him happiness. 

“I care about you too, Hermione. More than I ever thought I would be able to care about anyone. More than I thought anyone would let me.” He was so serious it brought tears to her eyes. She put her head on his chest absorbing his warmth and listening to the steady beating of his heart.

It was the Monday final grades were released. The Great Hall was abuzz with those who impressed themselves with their marks and those who knew they wouldn’t be as well received at home for their lack of studiousness. 

Hermione was quite pleased herself having received all O’s except the one Exceeds Expectations in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Seeing the E at first enraged her before she remembered her disastrous final exam where she couldn’t even finish the last task due to the Boggart. 

“Great job, per usual Miss Granger.” Professor McGonagall passed her as she was walking out of the Hall. 

“Professor, may I have a word?” Hermione didn’t know she was asking until she had asked. 

The two went off to the side so as not be disturbed. Hermione looked up at the witch she so admired while she clenched and unclenched her lips. 

“I dropped Divinations partway through the year.” Seeing no reaction from McGonagall Hermione went on, “I think I’ll drop Muggle Studies as well.” 

Hermione winced as the words left her mouth expecting the disappointment to rain down on her. Instead a genuine smile spread across McGonagall’s face. 

“Sometimes Miss Granger showcasing intelligence isn’t just about reciting your text book back to someone, but rather knowing where the limits are and how to push them. Yes?” 

Hermione nodded fanatically in agreement. She couldn’t believe she was being complimented for not doing something. 

“I’ll need the time turner back.” 

“I left it on your desk this morning.” 

Hermione gave a swift goodbye to her professor after that and made her way back to the common room. It seemed everyone was out. Everywhere couples were clinging to each other professing their love and how they would see each other or owl this summer. Some were connected at the lips others she saw in more salacious of positions. Hermione thought if everyone was outside enjoying the summer air she would go find her joy. 

Which is how she found herself in the DADA classroom and up the stairs in the office. Professor Lupin was packing up his belongings still and burning paper he wouldn’t need. He paused for a moment as she walked in and sat on the sofa. When she sat down and didn’t say anything, just staring at him, he continued on with his task. He feels it when she wordlessly closes the door silencing the room and locking it from the outside world. Still, she doesn’t say anything. 

Hermione watches him move. The way his arms and back stretch. It was a rare moment where he was wearing a t-shirt without a cardigan over it as he didn’t expect to see anyone and as such didn’t feel the need to cover his scars. It hit Hermione in that moment that seeing him without a shirt on or even completely nude would be a level of intimacy that he was probably wholly unfamiliar with. Letting someone look upon him like that. She continued to watch him work. 

“I can’t stop thinking about this summer.” She stated plainly. It sat out there while he reorganized a shelf of books he wasn’t taking. 

“Why’s that?” He turned to lean against it and look at her. 

“I won’t see you.” Hermione thought it might be too much to add in the duh, but her tone was evident. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Moving around would be easier for me as a semi Ministry employee.” He was moving his head from side to side contemplating the words he used. 

“Will you have enough potion to get you through? There’s three full moons before you get back and-“ Hermione started up before his hand told her to cease. 

“It’s alright, Pet. Snape provided me with a few phials of potions.” He smiled and sat down next to her on the sofa. 

“By the time you use the third one the strength will only be fifty percent. You’ll feel worse than you have in months.” She worried her lip and searched his face for any concern he might have. 

“Well, well, someone’s been studying the manual.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted her up on to his lap. 

“I wrote an essay for Snape. Long story that I will tell you about another time.” Hermione buried her nose into his neck in order to soak up his scent one last time before her morning departure. “I’ve also been thinking about something else, Professor.” 

“Hmm.” His fingertips were lightly trailing up and down her calf muscles. It was a great opening into Hermione’s topic. 

“I think we should ask each other for two things. Two things we need from the other person that’s the foundation of this.” Hermione pulled back to look into his eyes. She thought he might laugh, but he nodded along and looked deep in thought. 

“Okay, what’s yours?”

“Yes, right. My first is, well actually, it’s this.” Hermione pointed to his fingers. “I need you to be more open and aggressive. I feel like I always make the first move. Maybe you could make it a bit more obvious that you fancy me and not just that you’re too polite to say no?” 

“Too polite to say no? That’s a good one.” Lupin let out a real laughed. They were rare and Hermione closed her eyes to commit it to memory. “What’s the second one, love?” 

“I need you to treat me the same way you treat Harry and Ron. I know you think it’s different because I’m a girl, but trust me when I say I could be a walking playboy advertisement before anyone in this school picks up on the fact that I might want to have sex. Anyway, the same as the boys. No over politeness or weird crazy distancing, but no bizarre protection either. I don’t need you to go to the mat for me every time you think someone is coming after me. Does that make sense?” 

“Yes, it does. I will try, but Hermione you have to understand that there are certain people that we will have to be more careful with and around the full moon I can’t pretend my emotions don’t shift. You have to know it might get to the point where I’m possessive and quick to anger. Can you be okay with that?” 

Hermione quickly nodded her head, “Okay, what are your two? Unless you want more time to think about them which is totally fine!” 

Hermione was wriggling around in his lap trying to quickly get her words out. She quickly stopped when she noticed how his eyes closed and the small smile that appeared on his lips. 

“Professor, you’re two? Please, quickly.” Hermione managed to breathe out. 

“Okay, love. Well the first one is easy. Coming out of being so isolated to being so not isn’t as easy as I thought it was. There’s times where I’ve wanted to be alone and couldn’t be. I think… I think if I ask to be alone I need you to respect that. Even if you think you could fix whatever the problem is. I need time to process.” He thought she would put up a fight, but she assented with a nod that seemed to move her whole body. 

“And the second one?” 

“I will concede a bit on you knowing what you want for your body and your experiences, but just a bit. However, my second one is this has to remain a secret. Which means you have to go about your life as if you aren’t involved with me. Do your best not to isolate yourself.” Lupin had cupped her jaw and was rubbing his thumb over her lower lip. 

“I understand. I’ll listen to you.” Hermione whispered. With that she leaned forward and let their mouths meet in the kiss she was waiting for. 

If she had known that simply asking him to be more aggressive would get her what she wanted she would have tried it weeks ago. Professor Lupin didn’t just kiss her back he claimed her with his mouth. Taking all of her in and dominating any space she tried to get to with her tongue. Hermione felt like an animal the way she began moaning and withering on his lap. She wanted to get closer to him, but the denim skirt she was wearing wouldn’t allow her legs to part easily. Reluctantly, she broke the kiss to stand up. Hermione stared down at the man and saw his black shirt wrinkled and his trousers straining across the lap she had just been sitting on. 

Without fear she licked her lips and undid the button on her skirt and pulled it down to her feet. Lupin attempted to pull her back to him, but she grabbed his hands to still them as she hooked her panties and pulled them down as well. The groan that was released from his chest let her know that he wasn’t going to slow her down this time. Once she was rid of them and had slipped her shoes off she climbed back on top of her teacher’s lap. She laid a searing kiss on him before pulling back and gripping the hem of her shirt to rip it up and over her head. The only thing on her body being the white lace bra he had seemed so fond of. 

“Hermione, you know this is how you kill old men right.” Lupin ran a finger under and down one of her bra straps as the other hand ran from one hip across her belly to the other. 

“Well, if Voldemort ever thinks of coming back and wants to take out Dumbledore perhaps we don’t tell him our grand scheme.” She went back in for another kiss as the fingers ghosting across her belly cause her hips to roll into his harden cock and her dripping core to clench around nothingness. She feels depraved the way she can’t help the way her body grinds against his involuntarily. 

“Please, Sir, I need to feel you.” Hermione was panting as she ran her fingers up the hem of his shirt. He could see the look of resistance shadow his face. Being bold she continued her hands journey up and ran them across his chest muscles. With his shirt gathered up at her wrist she took the chance to look at his stomach muscle flexed against her forearms. She ran one hand’s fingers down them taking in the hardness. Finally, Lupin raised up enough to let her pull his shirt over his head. 

Immediately, she let her body flush against his moaning at the contact as warmth overtook her skin. Hermione let her lips and teeth pepper and nip at his neck sucking on his pulse points. It felt like his hard member could rip through his trousers pushing into her nakedness from below as his hands ran up and down her back with her chest still pressed into his. She felt consumed by him. Her head was completely hazed as she let instinct take over her actions. She moved her lips down to his collarbones and on to his chest muscles. She thought the noises he was making meant she was doing a good job, but when she ran her tongue over one of his nipples he let out what could only be described as an animalistic growl. 

“Fuck, Hermione. You’re so good to me.” She couldn’t help but smile up at him at the praise he gave her. The look she was met with threw Hermione into a frenzy. Lupin with his eyes half closed and staring like he had never seen any woman before her. His hands at his side curled into tight fist that she knew wanted to touch her. 

She continued her assault down his chest licking slowly and nipping quickly. Committing his gasp and groans to memory. She worked her legs off of him to be standing in the middle and as her mouth went further down she allowed her knees to sink between his legs to the floor. She licked around his navel enjoying how his rough hair felt on her tongue. Her hands were just running up his thighs finding the button of his trousers when his left hand slide to land on hers. 

“Stop, love.” He had the same kind smile he wore when he was about to stop her from doing something they both wanted. 

“Please? Can I use my hands? I’ll do the same thing as before.” She bit her lip as she looked up at him inching her hands closer to his zipper. 

He seemed to think it over for a minute and then quickly nodded his head, but didn’t lean back showing he still had some reservations about her doing this for him. Unlike the last time, the wolf within wasn’t clouding his thought process. She didn’t waste time before unbuttoning him and pulling both pieces of fabric down allowing him to gain release from his confinement. Hermione couldn’t help the gasp at seeing him up close. She allowed her fingertips to run over his length as she took in how hard it was while the skin was so soft. Everything was much slower this time around.

She gripped the base as she had seen him do that one night and slowly brought her hand up. She moved it up and down in an easy grip and watched as it twitched and jerked in her hand. She could hear her teacher’s breathing becoming ragged. 

“Hermione, please harder. If you want.” Hermione rolled her lips together to stop the laugh that threaten to come out at his inability to demand anything from her. She looked into his eyes as she gripped him harder and moved her hand faster up and down. 

“Should I use two hands, Sir?” Hermione was already moving the second one to follow the first up and down. Lupin had his eyes closed, but was nodding his head all the same. 

Hermione couldn’t help the power she felt at knowing that she was the reason he was feeling so much pleasure. The intensity of his nerves alight was all because of her. The way he was saying her name whether it was in a moan or under his breath like he was begging her to never stop. 

As Hermione was watching his face she felt something warm and wet touch her hand. Looking down she saw the clear liquid seeping from the tip of Lupin’s reddening dick. She wished in that moment that she knew more about sex and the mechanics. She told herself she would read about it this summer. Taking one finger she swiped it over the tip, eliciting an appreciative ‘mmm’ from Lupin, and ran it down his shaft. More liquid came out and Hermione bent down and licked it off. 

“Holy fuck, Hermione!” Lupin bent forward to cup her face. 

“What? Did I do something wrong?” Hermione asked. She was running her tongue over her lip letting his taste linger on her tongue. Salty, but creamy. Not terrible, just earthy. 

“Come here, Pet. Your turn.” Lupin put his arms under her arms and lifted her up and on to the couch. She couldn’t help the squeal that escaped her. 

“Professor Lupin! I wanted to make you-“ 

“I know you did. Don’t pout, love” And with that he was on her. She had her back on the sofa his mouth back on hers she opened her legs to take him back against her. To feel swallowed by him. 

Lupin moved down her neck following a similar trail she took, but his expertise making it that much better for her. His lips found her nipples and took one in his mouth letting his teeth graze over the harden peak seeming to be stirred on by her whimpers. His one hand found the other as it massaged and rolled. Hermione couldn’t help the way her hips rolled up to meet his body finding his stomach over her. She could feel the ache building deep within her and she was chasing the release she needed. 

“Please, Professor, please touch me, I need to feel you.” She was gripping his hair in her hands trying to force him to look at the need on her face, but he stayed concentrated on his worship of her breast. She felt him let one of his hands drop from her chest and make its way down to her thigh to rub the inside until she was moaning out of control. She could hear him begging him and she thought she should be embarrassed, but she knew he loved to hear her pleas. 

Finally his fingers found her slicked folds. 

“Oh, love. You’re so wet. Is this all for me?” Lupin looked into eyes as ran a finger up and down her softly while lapping at one of her nipples. Hermione nodded her while trying to roll her hips into his finger. 

“I can’t wait, please.” Hermione moved her hand down his chest trying to grab his still weeping cock that was just out of reach. “Professor, please? I need you. I’m ready.” 

Lupin kissed her deeply as he lightly swirled his fingers around her engorged nub in her center muffling her cry with his mouth. 

“Maybe, but I’m not.” He kissed her neck to whisper in her ear. If he looked into her eyes, with her blown pupils and desperate need that she would swear was all for her, he would give in. Hermione nodded her head remembering what he said to her about wanting to be as ready as her for that next step. In that moment, she felt a surge of emotion for the man for caring so deeply about her. 

“I want us to come together.” She was able to breathe out as he continued his quick and pressured ministrations. “Please stop thinking so hard, oh god.” 

Hermione tried to speak seriously to him, but the waves of pleasure were building on each other and she felt her muscles tightening with anticipation as she climbed higher up to the peak. Professor Lupin, keeping his hand and mouth on her, moved his body up enough so his student could grab him. Hermione could see in his eyes that he didn’t know why she would want to touch him at all let alone bring him to completion while he laid on top of her. 

Hermione could feel how wet she was getting. She knew what her body was telling her to do, but she wanted to protect his feelings just as he wanted to protect her. Releasing him for a second, she met his hand working her core and ran down to gather her wetness at her opening. She dipped one finger in causing her back to arch off the sofa with a loud gasp. Gathering more of her wetness she gripped Lupin’s shaft in her hand again began to move quickly and roughly up and down completely lost to what Lupin was doing to her body. 

“Fuck, Hermione-“

“I’m sorry! Too rough?” Hermione stilled her hand and looked up at him fearing she had hurt him. 

“Keep going.” Lupin’s eyes were completely black and Hermione could have sworn she saw a bit of the wolf come out in that moment. She pushed aside the thought that she should be afraid and she wasn’t. 

The two began moving in tandem. Lupin still licking and nipping at her breast while gripping her hip with one hand and the other rubbing her clit bringing her closer to the edge. Hermione had one hand in his hair pulling it at the side just how he liked and the other quickly moving up and down in time with his circles. As her pleasure built she could feel her walls clenching harder wanting to be filled. She rolled up to the fingers working her bundle of nerves hoping that he would pick up on what she was asking for. 

He stopped his suckling to look in her eyes as he moved his fingers and slid one slowly into her virginal walls. The same pleasure she felt at her own fingers exploded with her and as soon as he had his thumb on her clit again and circled once Hermione screamed his name so loudly that she pulled her hand down to her mouth. 

Hermione rocked her hips up into his hand chasing the long orgasm ripping through her as she felt like she would black out from lack of oxygen. Her hand had moved on its own to meet his fingers thrusting in and out of her and she could hear him mumbling into the plane of her breast about cumming. 

Lupin attempted to pull away before he came, but Hermione locked her legs around him. Coming down from her own wave her muscles released and she moved her hand quicker while tugging his face up to her to kiss her. 

“Please, I want to feel you cum.” She whispered into his mouth. That did it for him and he was jerking his hips into her hand while hot sticky creamy liquid spurted on Hermione’s stomach. Watching him come apart above her was enough for her to feel the wetness build between her legs again. She could tell he was trying his best to not lay down on her, but he was spent and exhausted. She grabbed her wand from the table and quickly cleansed their bodies. Discarding her wand on the floor she pulled his body to hers letting him rest his head on her chest. After just a minute Hermione felt warm water trickling down her sides. Looking down she saw her werewolf professor silently releasing tears while his arms tightened around her. She decided to not say anything. Something told her he needed this. 

They laid there in silence for hours. The sun had begun setting and Hermione was sure they would be missing dinner soon if they didn’t get moving. Her fingers had been tracing the scars on Lupin’s back while her legs would occasionally tighten around him. Neither spoke. Neither dressed. Hermione knew she didn’t know a lot, but she knew intimacy when she was experiencing it. 

“Dinner?” His rough voice came from below; his breath ghosting over her left nipple causing it to harden again. 

“Hmm.” Hermione tried to agree with him without much fanfare, but his voice continued to have the same effect on her as it always did. She closed her eyes trying to compose herself. 

The exposed nipple was soon warmed by his soft tongue and she could feel his fingers move up her thigh. Without any words exchanged he placed his fingers between her thighs and brought her to a quick, but peaceful release one more time. After he hovered above her to kiss her and stare at her face. 

“Do you want a picture?” She smirked at him while looking off to the side uncomfortable with the attention. 

“Yes, but what I really want is this all the time. You, everyday. I’ll miss you this summer, Hermione.” Lupin kissed her again before getting up. He helped her dress before dressing himself. 

Something had shifted between them. This whole year it felt like a rollercoaster, but as Hermione and Professor Lupin walked down the stairs to the classroom and towards the Great Hall, unafraid if someone saw them together, they could both feel that it was different. Not bold enough to touch or exchange words of affection, but just something different. Lupin disappeared to the side to enter through the staff door by the upper table and Hermione tossed him one last look before going through the Hall doors.

After dinner Hermione retired to her dorm room to finish her packing, that was already done, and spend time with the girls. 

They were hardly in the beginning of naming the boys each of the girls would be keeping in contact with over the summer when Hermione pulled her satchel towards her to double check the books she packed for the ride home. 

“Fuck! Stupid! Fuck.” Hermione screamed before muttering to herself as she threw on her shoes. 

‘Hermione?” Lavender questioned her, but Hermione was already out the door. 

The young witch ran so fast she thought she would take a spill down the stone steps again, but even though it was the last night in the castle before the summer holidays she was out pass curfew. Hermione found herself spinning around the cool classroom before realizing that the door that usually resided on the far left during the day wasn’t visible. With the knowledge that it probably disappeared in order to alert the visitor that the teacher was no longer available Hermione felt her heart fall and the panic that urged her down here fall away. 

She figured since no one was around anyway she could investigate the potions brewing in the dungeon classroom. She walked carefully even though her trainers hardly made a noise from her step. As she got closer to the fire underneath the cauldrons she started to feel how the sweat on her skin had cooled and giving her a chill. 

“Miss. Granger we mustn’t touch what isn’t ours.” Professor Snape’s baritone voice went straight into her. 

“Professor Snape. I’m so sorry! I almost forgot! I did it. I wrote the essay!” Hermione couldn’t contain herself. She knew he hated her emotional outburst as he called them, but she was already talking too loudly. In her haste to show him what she had done with the last six months she had invaded his space and was standing much, much, too close to him. Her thin sleep shorts and tank top didn’t leave much to the imagination as she didn’t have anything on underneath. 

“Miss Granger, please remove yourself from my vicinity.” Snape was looking above her head. 

“Yes, Sir, but here will you take this?” She stepped towards him even more and pressed the essay into his sternum. “Next year? You’ll teach me the potion?” 

“I will read this over and make a decision. Now please remove yourself from my classroom.”

“Professor Snape, are you alright you seem like you’re in pain?” Hermione looked up at him. She saw his white knuckle grip on the chair in front of him. Rubbing her hand on them she furrowed her brows at him. “Are you in pain, Sir?” 

“Yes.” Snape was curt. He looked down into her eyes for only a second, but Hermione saw it. The same dark look in his eyes that Professor Lupin gets when they’re on his couch. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll go.” Hermione squeaked out. Snape just nodded his head once and moved to watch her leave. As she reached the door she hovered on the threshold. Hermione could swear she could hear him breathing heavily. 

“Sir?”

“What, Miss. Granger?” Snape snapped at her in his usual manner. 

“I remind you of someone.” She didn’t turn to look at him. 

“Yes, Miss. Granger.” Snape drawled. 

“And you’ll never like me because of that, isn’t that right?” She whispered. 

“Is that what you want, Miss Granger, for me to like you?” 

Hermione turned to look at him. Opening her mouth, once, twice, she closed it and turned back around leaving the door open as she left his classroom.

Hermione woke with a mixture of emotions. Happiness to be heading home to the comfort of her parents, but dread and emptiness at not being able to see Lupin all summer. She was happy he would be working with the Aurors at the Ministry. It would give him something to do and he would feel connected to people. She had to focus on what he would get out this. 

After a quick breakfast with her housemates, where Lavender and Parvati joined them, and the students were headed to Hogsmeade to catch the train back to London. A few of the Professor’s had joined them to chaperone the walk and meet for a drink in town after the kids had gone. Hermione saw her dark hair potions professor walking towards the back looking as morose as ever. She started walking slower and purposefully fell behind her friends and Professor Lupin who gave her a questioning look. She pretended not to see not wanting to draw attention to the fact that she was waiting for this particular man. 

“Miss Granger. It is hard to enjoy a pleasant walk with unpleasant company.” Snape snarled at her. 

“Um, sure, I’m the problem here. It wouldn’t happen to be that Professor Sprout openly bullied you in front of us this morning to force you to join the other teachers for a drink?” Hermione matched his signature smirk with her own. 

“Touche.” He breathed out at her. 

“Professor Snape, I… I wanted to say sorry about last night. For showing up to your classroom so frenzied and needy.” Hermione rested her hand on his arm. Quickly removing it as a look came across his face. She wasn’t sure what the look was, but it was a look. 

“Accepted. In the future I would suggest you not trapeze through the castle in so few clothing.” 

“Those are normal pajamas for the summer, Professor. Maybe you consider me to be wearing so few because I’ve only seen you in so many.” Hermione quirked an eyebrow at him. She took off to catch up to her friends. 

Okay, now I understand what Professor Lupin means by not thinking before I speak, Hermione thought. 

She made it back to her friends and met Lupin’s eye discreetly shaking off the question forming there. She would go to her grave with the knowledge that she just told her potions master that he wears too many clothes around her. 

Upon boarding the train, the boys begged Lupin to come around the Burrow and see them this summer. He stayed noncommittal given his job with the Ministry that he shrugged his shoulders at, but Hermione watched as he silently conveyed his excitement even more. Her happiness for him once again overflowing. The boys shook his hand. 

“Well, Hermione, you really are the brightest witch of your age.” Professor Lupin smiled at her. 

Hermione stepped up to him and hugged him around the waist. The boys would see it as good natured teacher’s pet move. Hermione just wanted to feel his body against hers one more time. 

“Goodbye, Professor Lupin. Thank you for the wonderful year.” Hermione let go and boarded the train behind the boys. They waved goodbye to their Professor watching as he put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet.

• 5 Hours into the Train Ride * 

Hermione sat in her own compartment; the train had been empty as the seventh years were allowed to leave how they wanted and some had chosen to take the train together one last time the day before. 

As it were, this allowed Hermione to duck out for a bit and do some light reading on her own. She was reading for about twenty minutes when her eye caught the country side and her mind had taken her away reflecting on the year. This time though she reflected on the good times. Even the times that felt hard, but turned out to be good in the end.

She didn’t hear the compartment door open until it was already closed. Malfoy stood there and lowered the blinds and locked the door. Hermione stared at him until he said something. 

“Any plans for the summer, Granger?” Malfoy stared out the window. 

“Not really. Maybe Ron’s house. Stop it. You’re such a snob.” Hermione scolded him for looking so disgusted by the mention of Ron’s house. “I mean, honestly, you’ve never even been there.”

“I don’t need to go there, Granger. I have a pretty good idea it wouldn’t be… what I’m use to.” Malfoy corrected himself seeing the look on her face. 

“Well, it is full of love and warmth.” Hermione glared at him. 

“Damn, I get it. Don’t go after Weasels house.” Malfoy threw his hands up. They lulled into silence. 

“What about you? Any plans.” Hermione attempted to get back on solid ground. 

“Quidditch World Cup, of course!” Malfoy looked at her as if she had grown a second head. How could she not know about the World Cup. “It’s going to be amazing. Only everyone in Britain is going to be there. Plus others from all over the world. It’s going to be incredible.” 

“Wow, Malfoy. I must admit I don’t think you’ve ever look this happy about, well, anything.” Hermione was surprised to see the normally serious boy relax into his childhood and get excited about watching two teams fly around above the ground. 

“There was that time you let me look up your skirt.” His smirk was back.

“I didn’t let you do anything!” Hermione threw a book at him. “And besides, if memory serves, you were the one who was too afraid to actually look. ‘Oh here. Take this. I’m a teenage boy. Please cover up before I do something untoward.’” Hermione imitated him in a high pitch pseudo aristocratic voice. 

Outside in the hall Malfoy and Hermione could hear Crabbe and Pansy bickering over where Malfoy must have gone to. 

“You better go before your hangers-ons forget how to function.” Hermione nodded her head at the door. 

“You’re probably right.” Malfoy got up gracefully. As he reached the door, right before lifting the charms hiding them from the world, he turned to her and leaned against the glass pane. “Granger.”

“Hmmm.” Hermione had pulled her book back from the bench he just sat on. 

“Two things. One, not that your manners would allow you to ask, but you may absolutely keep my sweater you used to cover yourself that day,” Malfoy ignored her grumbled ‘you used’ from her, “and two, next time… I’ll look.” 

Hermione’s mouth fell open in shock, but before she could say anything Malfoy slid the door open and took a step backwards before the door slammed back into place. 

After another hour she made her way back the group’s compartment walking in on Ron speaking rather loudly about the World Cup as well. 

“Hermione, you have to come! Dad will get tickets and you’ll have to come, yeah?” Ron asked her. 

“Uh, sure, Ron. Whatever you want.” Hermione smiled at him as she half listened to her best friends talk about the upcoming summer and half thought about her encounters with the men of Hogwarts this morning. 

The rest of the train ride passed on without incident or story. The train pulled into the station and Hermione saw her parents standing on the platform waiting eagerly for her. Her mom was waving and even her dad was able to smile before she reached them. The trio said their goodbyes, and then their goodbyes again after waiting twenty minutes for the Grangers and Weasley’s to stop talking, and headed out to their respective transportation back to their homes. 

The whole car ride home Hermione couldn’t help but let the smile slip on and off her face as she anticipated the summer and her Fourth Year. 

Chapter Text

Fourth Year - World Cup 

One week. That’s how long Hermione had been home before she thought her skin would become so itchy she would have to peel it off. Her parents had questioned her to no end about why she and the boys looked so bruised and beaten when they met them at the train station, but Hermione explained that the finals had been harder this year and everything got a bit carried away. She made a very conscious choice. To not tell them about her werewolf adventures and an even bigger choice to not tell them about the year in general. She wanted out of the house.

The boys had already written to her to ask how she was healing. Apparently, Ron’s leg was taking longer than expected, but would be right as rain by the time the World Cup came around. Harry was allowed to keep Hedwig out for the summer so his letters would be coming and going with more frequency than previous summers. Hermione was thankful for her parents own investment of a family owl, not terribly uncommon for muggle parents, as she would be able to send her own letters. 

She managed to last until the last week of June. Almost two weeks since leaving Hogwarts. Ten days. She didn’t want to seem too eager, but she had to write to Professor Lupin. 

Dear Professor Lupin, 

It seems like just yesterday we parted at the train station. However, with the summer plans you shared I imagine you have been busy and just yesterday probably feels like ions for you. I wanted to ask how you were getting on with leaving Hogwarts? After your first year are you just as excited for your next? 

Did you go straight back to the cottage? I know you said you had some ideas on how you wanted to tackle the projects this summer - do you think you’ll have time? 

You’ve started with the Aurors now, right? How is it? Surely, they’ll have you do some training, but if not I know you’ll be brilliant. 

I keep thinking about this past year. I miss you. 

Yours, 

Hermione 

She sent it off late at night. She reasoned that while the letter wasn’t terribly personal if someone did happen to be around him it could be easily explained away if they should happen to read it. It took her longer than usual to fall asleep, but she did manage it after assuring herself that tomorrow would bring a response. 

That is what she told herself for seven nights. The next day will bring a response. 

Hermione tried her best to not be put out that she hadn’t heard back. After all, he was suppose to be incredibly busy. She tried her best to enjoy her break. Spend time with her parents. Read the fiction novels that were piling up. 

The first week of July saw Hermione begin to grow flustered at the lack of correspondence from her lover. She sent a letter to Neville to wish him a happy birthday at the beginning of the week. By Saturday, the 9th, the end of the week Hermione still hadn’t heard from Lupin so she sent off another letter. Maybe he didn’t receive the first one. Maybe he did, but didn’t have time time to respond because of his schedule? She didn’t want him to think she held that against him and was angry with him. 

Dear Professor Lupin, 

I imagine you’re busy with your schedule between the Aurors and all your other summer activities. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you. 

We haven’t been doing much this summer so far. We’ll go on holiday next week to France to see family. The down time has allowed me to read four novels. 

I hope you aren’t working too hard. Is everyone being welcoming towards you? How was the full moon? Did the potion help even though it wasn’t as fresh?

Please write back soon. I think about you all the time. All the time. 

I miss you Professor. Yours,  

Hermione

Again, she sent it off at the end of the night. An hour later she was crawling into bed and heard a pecking at her window. Hermione, throwing herself out of bed, ran to her window to let the owl in. Not stopping to think that an hour was not enough time she was disappointed to find it was only a branch swaying from an incoming storm. 

Hermione slumped back into bed and nuzzled her way under the covers. He was just busy. He had to be. She couldn’t allow herself to think of any other reason as to why he wouldn’t write back to her. Not after everything. The last week they were in the castle. How he had laid on her and let his tears dry on her skin. Remembering how he hovered above her while working his finger deep inside her and rolling his tongue around her pert nipple had Hermione feeling her desire for him build between her legs. 

The perk of being home and not having to share a bedroom was Hermione was free to put to use the lessons Lupin gave her last year. She shimmied her panties down to her ankles letting one foot come out of their grasp; not bothering to take her t-shirt off. She quickly found her fingers between her slick folds trying to not be embarrassed by how wet she was able to become just from the memory of one of her encounters with the tall DADA professor. She brought the tip of her middle finger inside herself to gather more of the wetness before circling her clit in the larger circles. Hermione could hear Lupin’s voice in her ear as he told her to make smaller tighter circles. She could feel her climax approaching, faster than she would have liked, but stronger than she’s been able to do on her own before. Just as quickly as she was able to feel the need arise Hermione’s orgasm ran through her and she was already coming back down from the high. 

She lied there panting trying to regain her composure and thoughts. She didn’t feel the normal relaxation take over the way she usually did. Instead, her brain immediately flooded her with all the reasons for Lupin’s lack of communications. 

Hermione’s family left for France in the second week of July just like she had written to Lupin. She made a point to not write to him that week. Perhaps if he sent an owl she would get it in France? Or come home to the mail? She wasn’t sure how that worked. 

Her question was answered when in the third week while still in the south of France an owl delivered a letter to her. Hermione discreetly snatched the letter and ran pass her smiling mother to hide in her bedroom to read it. She was disappointed in herself for being upset that the letter was only from Ron. 

‘Mione, 

I assume you’re in France now with your parents. I hope the owl makes it okay. Fred said that if the owl wasn’t able to make it he would personally see to it that you receive the letter. Real joker that one. 

Anyway, how’s your summer? Ours has been weird… 

Mum and Dad have never really talked about the war before, but I guess with Lupin joining the Aurors it’s been coming up more. He’s been around the Burrow a little bit. Some of their friends from the war are Aurors now so they’ve been bringing him around. 

It’s been nice watching Dad and Mum reconnect with their friend. I guess I haven’t seen them actually laugh with people outside of the family before. Sometimes when someone mentions someone who died during the war they get all quiet. It’s strange. 

Anyway, do you know what you’re getting Harry for his birthday? Ginny and I will probably go in on something together. 

Ron. 

Hermione read the letter over three times. So Lupin was making social calls to the Burrow. If he had time to do that why didn’t he have time to write to her? Maybe he wasn’t writing at all. Maybe-

“Darling?” Her mom was knocking and poking her head in Hermione’s bedroom door. Hermione quickly folded the letter back up and stashed it in whichever bag was closes to her. 

“Yes, mum?” Hermione schooled her voice. She thanked every God there ever was that she wasn’t crying. 

“Well, it’s just that I wanted to see how you were doing.” Jean walked in gingerly as if her daughter was a ticking bomb about to go off. 

“I’m fine, mum! Why wouldn’t I be?” She was smiling too widely. 

“You’ve been so withdrawn. Yesterday I don’t even know if I heard you say a word. Now, you’ve gotten that letter and ran as if you caught fire.” Her mum went to point at the letter, but pursed her lips realizing her daughter had put it away already. 

“Oh, the letter’s just from Ron. Just what he’s been up to.” Hermione tried to keep the smile, but she couldn’t help but let it fall just a bit. 

“Hermione, forgive me for prying, but you and Ron-“

“No, mum. Not even a little bit.” All smiles and frowns left her face to be replaced with one of pure disgust. 

“But is it a boy?” Her mother was not normally one to ask about her life in this respect so Hermione knew she must have been much more withdrawn than just a bit. 

“No! …I suppose. It’s only I thought I would hear from him and I’ve written now a couple of times and still haven’t heard back.” Hermione had gotten up in order to keep herself busy while she unloaded on her mum. She reorganized her books and things on the room’s dresser. Not that there was much there to organize. 

“There could be a million reasons for why he hasn’t written back. It’s only been a month since you’ve been gone from school.” Her mum tried her best, but her advice was on the whole unhelpful. 

“Yes, of course you’re right.” Hermione threw a tight smile at her mum. 

“You met him this past year? I mean is he in your year?” Hermione’s worse fear was coming true. Her mum was trying to engage in girl talk with her. How was she suppose to explain Lupin to her mum?

“Yes. And no he’s not in my year. He’s older.” Hermione felt bad for honest deception, but it would be worse to just shut down the conversation. 

“Oh. Okay. Sometimes that can be harder. You know especially if you feel like you like them this much.”

“What?” Hermione’s concern was melting away to deep confusion. 

“Well, sometimes with older boys they’re ready for more than you might be and sometimes when you engage in those more things you might feel stronger towards them.” Jean was blushing such a deep red it appeared as if she would have a permanent sun burn. 

“Mum, what are you talking about?” 

“Okay. Hermione, you’re old enough to know, and I think it’s already happening, that when you date older boys there is a chance that they will want their sexual needs met before you’re ready and you might feel-“ 

“Christ mum stop! No, he’s not like that. If anything I’m the aggressor.” Hermione spoke the words into the air and immediately wanted them back. 

The mother daughter duo looked at each other for a minute before both adverting their eyes. Jean too reserved to know what to say and Hermione mortified that she had told her mum that she was engaging in sex. 

“We haven’t had sex. We’re not ready for that.” Hermione lied. She had been ready, but it seemed like any more details and her mum might pass out. 

“Okay, well good. Any questions about-“

“No.”

“Good. Good. Well give him time dear. I’m sure he’ll come around.” Jean high tailed it out of her bedroom.

The Granger's left France to arrive back to England at the end of July. The next day, Harry’s birthday, Hermione sent off a letter and a present. A book detailing French defensive spells. Some were the same as their English spells, but there were loads that were different. Hermione couldn’t help herself and sent off a third note to Lupin. Nothing of note just letting him know that she was back in England and what she got Harry for his birthday. She tried not to think of herself differently as she sent it. A few days later Hermione received a reply from her best friend. 

Hermione! 

Thank you so much for the letter and birthday present! I did receive you other letter, but I’m trying to stay on the Dursley’s good side by not using Hedwig as much or sending and receiving too much. My birthday nearly gave my Uncle a heart attack. Worth it. 

You’re right that without the bars on my window or errant house elves I would receive more letters. I’ve heard from everyone. Almost all of the Weasley’s wrote separately. Sirius got a letter to me. And Lupin of course! He nicked a guide from the Ministry so I could read up on some of the advanced spells the Aurors use. I’m so jealous of the time he’s having and the people he’s meeting. One day. 

Anyway, I can’t wait to see you. Write soon. 

Harry. 

Just like Ron’s letter Hermione read it over several times taking in the words. She could feel her heart beating against her chest as she realized that it wasn’t that Lupin was too busy to write he just wasn’t writing her. Hermione carefully folded Harry’s letter and tucked it in her trunk. She wasn’t sure what made her want to keep it. But she did. Hermione couldn’t help but believe that he would try and tell her an excuse or two when the school year started. Perhaps in being able to revisit this letter it would help keep their relationship in perspective. 

As the days rolled on Hermione started and stoped herself several times from writing another letter to her Professor. Two letters in a row was already a bit sad. Three times was pathetic. Four times? Hermione had to admit that wasn’t just love sick that was bordering on stalker like behaviour. 

It was the 15th of August. Two and half weeks before they would be heading back to Hogwarts. She thought Harry would be going to the Weasley’s in a few days in order to attend the World Cup with Ron, but she hadn’t heard from them. She was just getting ready for bed thinking about how regardless of what happens she would not allow herself to fall back into isolation this year when an owl that she didn’t recognize pecked at her window. She let it in assuming it would be Hogwarts supplies, albeit a late hour, and took the letter. The owl must be official because it didn’t wait around for a reply or a treat. 

Hermione, 

Thank you for your letters. I have received them. It has been a busy summer. I hope you’re well. 

Take care, 

R.J. Lupin 

Unlike the other letters she received this summer Hermione didn’t bother to reread this one for clarity. 21 words not counting their names. There wasn’t much to reread anyway. 

It was moments like this where she wished she could be someone quick to anger. She wish she had it in her to sit down and write down a fierce response of what she thought of him and how he’s made her feel this summer. But instead she gave this letter the same treatment as the others. Folding it carefully she tucked it into her trunk and went to take a shower. 

When Hermione went to bed that night she didn’t think she wouldn’t get out for four days. But that’s what happen. Four days she lied in bed thinking over her third year and the summer. Did her letters say something wrong? Maybe she was too forward? She didn’t think so, but perhaps it was different when you put it in writing. 

Her parents tried to get her to come down for meals or to read or do anything really, but Hermione feigned illness and said she needed to stay in bed so she wouldn’t be sick for the beginning of term. Her mum had attempted to ask if this illness had anything to do with the boy from their conversation last month. The only confirmation being a fresh round of tears and a deeper sink into her bed. 

By the fourth day Hermione was starting to feel sorry about feeling sorry for herself. She was on the verge of getting out of bed when an owl at the window inspired her to lean into the decision. Taking the letter from a sweet barn owl Hermione tried to push down the hope that it would be a longer letter from Lupin explaining some drastic reason that he couldn’t write before. That he was taking on evil wizards or cursed objects. Anything really. Instead, the letter was from Ron and it made Hermione swear out loud. 

“Hermione? What is it?” Her mum must have been just outside her door. 

“Oh, nothing, I’m sorry mum. I forgot the Quidditch World Cup is next week. Ron asked me on the train ride home to go with him and his family. I told him I would. I completely forgot and he’s just written to let me know his mum has made up Ginny’s room and they’re looking forward to seeing me on Saturday.” Hermione was panicking. She hadn’t even asked her parents. She was barely out of this bout of depression and she didn’t know if she could get ready to leave for school in one and half days. 

“We’ll get you ready dear. Not to worry. My love, please don’t make a habit of waiting until two days before you have to leave to let me know. My blood pressure can only handle so much last minute shopping and laundry.” Her mum laughed as she left her room to get started on a to-do list just like last summer.

Hermione waved goodbye to her parents one last time as she stood with Mrs. Weasley on the front porch of the Burrow. Originally, she was suppose to be there that morning, but her mum decided last minute that she wanted to drive her so she ended up getting there a couple hours before dinner. Her mum stayed for tea and then left so Hermione could be alone with her second family. 

“Hermione, dear, why don’t you go get changed and scrub up for dinner. Everyone will be here tonight.” Mrs. Weasley patted her arm and stroked her hair as she led the girl inside. 

“Everyone, Mrs. Weasley?” Hermione didn’t know who everyone was. 

“Oh! All the boys are here!” Mrs. Weasley’s face lit up like Christmas. Hermione realized that she had never seen all the Weasley’s together. She had never even met Bill and Charlie. 

Wanting to make a good impression Hermione ran upstairs to Ginny’s room finding the red head witch sitting on her own bed looking through tank tops. The two girls hadn’t spoken much, or at all, since Christmas break last year. Hermione gave her a small smile determined to stay out of her way and went to her trunk. She opened the top and pulled on a tab that dropped down a closet rod which hung some of her nicer clothes. Clothes that she had sent muggle pictures of to Lavender and Parvati before purchasing this summer. She could feel Ginny’s eyes on her, but choose to mind her business. 

“So,” Ginny cleared her throat. Without realizing Hermione realized that she was standing right next to her trunk. “I was a right twat last year.” 

Hermione was surprised to hear the younger girl speak so frankly, but considering she had six older brothers it shouldn’t have been that surprising. The two girls stared at each other for a solid minute before they both burst out into laughter. Hermione didn’t want to hold this against the youngest Weasley and it was done with now anyway. 

“It’s okay, Gin. I think I get it.” Hermione turned back to her clothing options. 

“You do, don’t you? I mean, I know it’s stupid, but you do… understand?” Ginny was imploring her to get what she was saying without her having to say it. Hermione knew she was talking about Harry. 

“Yeah. Unfortunately.” Hermione wouldn’t look at her. Afraid the truth would be written on her face. 

“Unfortunately.” Ginny agreed on a breath. 

The girls got ready together laughing about the stupid things the boys have already done and said and what they think they’ll get up to at the Cup. Ginny, showing her mercy, didn’t bring up too much about the actual Quidditch part of the Cup. Hermione landed on a white dress with a v-neck and thin straps. The top was tighter while the mini skirt flared just a bit. The cotton material kept it from being dressy, but she felt good about how it showed off her tan skin and her developed body. 

It had been two months since she had seen the boys, but she didn’t miss how red both of their faces had gone when she got out of her moms car in her tank top and they saw that her breast had gone up a cup size. It was impossible to miss the way Fred openly leered at her backside when she bent over to grab her things and how Mr. Weasley slapped him upside the head telling him to knock it off. If she were being honest, she quite liked the way they responded. She was able to stay fit, but her shoulders and hip bones didn’t stick out in an awkward child like way anymore. 

As the girls made their way down the stairs they could hear the whole Burrow was alive with activity. Ron quickly introduced Hermione to Charlie, who was here to work something out with the Ministry about dragons, and Bill - the oldest Weasley. Hermione took the opportunity to admire how attractive all of the Weasley men were while all looking so differently. She couldn’t help but feel like an asshole when she thought ‘poor Percy’ at the end of that. Molly called for the kids to make their way outside. She could feel a hand on her back as they walked out on to the back porch and she looked up to see Fred admiring her, he swore, dress. 

“Hermione, you should have given a guy a heads up. If this is our wedding day I would have prepared better.” Fred smirked at her. 

“Prepared? Fred, from what I understand Hermione is a grade-a swot. There isn’t enough time in the world for you to ‘prepare’ to be with a woman like her.” Charlie winked at her openly causing Hermione to blush. From what she understood from Ginny Charlie was quite the lady’s man when he lived in England, but he would never settled down. 

The whole group, not missing Charlie’s double meaning, laughed at Fred. His face turned red and he attempted to pull away from Hermione, but she grabbed his hand and held it to her looking up into his face smiling. Fred didn’t give her those feelings she had come to expect from someone she wanted badly, but he was a good friend and secretly the sweetest of the Weasley children. 

“There they are! Harry, my boy!” Hermione turned to see a man with brown hair standing next to Mr. Weasley holding some type of drink waving at the group. Next to him was a man she knew to be Kingsley Shacklebolt. 

However, it was the man standing next to Kingsley that made Hermione trip over her own feet. Standing there was a tall, sandy hair, green eye man. In grey trousers, a white button down, and cream cardigan he was holding a glass tumbler holding the same liquid as the man who called out for Harry. Professor Lupin was staring right at her. That is, at one point her might have been. By the time Hermione saw him he was moving his eyes rapidly between Hermione and Fred’s interlocked hands. 

“Kids, this Weston Upton. He works works in the Auror department with Kingsley and Remus here.” Mr. Weasley made quick introductions as Weston’s attention went to Harry. 

Hermione realized she was still holding Fred’s hand and looked up at him to smile while dropping it. She tried to not openly wince at the use of the word ‘kids’ but if someone were watching closely enough she was sure they would have seen something go through her. 

“You three are staying for dinner. Lupin, I swear every time I’ve seen you this summer, you have gotten thinner and thinner. We’ll need plates.” Molly said summoning more chairs. “Let me introduce you to someone. You need someone in your life. Or no you’re seeing someone.” 

“I’ll get the plates.” Hermione announced before turning around and heading straight back into the house. The group was large, but they were standing close enough together that she could hear Molly telling Lupin that she couldn’t possibly fix him up with someone because he was already seeing someone. 

As soon as she reached the house and was inside she put her hands on the counter and took several deep breaths. Her eyes were stinging. She needed to calm down. It wouldn’t do to have all these people pick up on anything and if there was anything the Weasley’s were good at it was picking up on a secret and airing it out for everyone. She made her way over to the plates cabinet, but it felt like walking through mud. She wasn’t a hundred percent certain she was breathing. When she looked down her chest was heaving and if she had been in a different head space she would have admired the tasteful sexiness of her cleavage moving against the v cut of the dress. 

“Hermione?” His gentle voice called from her from somewhere far away. She didn’t respond because he was far away and wouldn’t hear her. 

“Hermione?” He was closer now. She knew he was in the room with her, but she didn’t trust her voice. 

“Hermione.” His large handed landed on her shoulder cupping the bone. It felt like his fingers were burning into her skin. 

“Please, don’t touch me.” She moved away from him quickly. She thought her voice came out as fierce, but when she finished talking she realized how quiet and pathetic she sounded. 

She slowly turned to look at him. She didn’t want to look into his eyes. To see what he was lying about this time. Or worse. Maybe he would tell the truth and he would say that Molly was right he was seeing someone. Hermione had been fun, but he moved on to someone more appropriate. She looked up at him. Still a foot shorter. Neither spoke. She looked into his face and ran her eyes down his body. Molly might have admonished his for his skinniness, but Hermione could tell he was taking better care of himself. He was always strong, but having purpose with the Aurors and the access to the potion was helping his muscles continue their development from the school year. His shoulders were even broader if that was possible. His mustache was the same, but he allowed his beard to grow in a bit more. Not enough to look shaggy, but it fit him. His hands were opening and closing into fist by his side. 

Breaking the spell Hermione reached up and opened the cabinet. She’ll have to turn from him to get the three plates. She was taking too long. 

“Hermione, I can explain.” That did it. She turned around and grabbed the mismatch plates. 

“I’m sure you can. You always can.” Hermione’s voice was full of venom. 

“What’s that suppose to mean?” He had taken a step closer to her. If she concentrated she would feel Lupin’s cardigan ghosting against her. She would practically feel his chest touch hers when he breathes in. 

She put the plates down on the counter and turned to face him. Finally, her anger came to the surface. 

“It means that I’m sure if I stood here and let you talk long enough you would find something to explain why you didn’t write to me at all this summer; why you made no attempt to see me; why you have apparently been able to write Harry all about your adventures and you’ve been here at the Burrow I don’t even know how many times.” Hermione was seething. At the mention of Harry and the Burrow Lupin had the decency to look guilty. 

“I know. I know, but-“

“No. You don’t get it. I told you I wouldn’t do this. I wouldn’t be your shameful secret. I could see it all over your face out there. You didn’t even know I was going to be here.” Hermione’s voice broke on the last word. Lupin was here because he was with his friends. “This fight were having isn’t even a couple arguing it’s you trying to make an excuse for your actions. For being caught? I don’t know. For what reason? So I’ll continue to take my clothes off for you when we’re back at school.” 

“Please keep your voice down.” Lupin looked towards the garden where the whole group remained intact. 

“Sorry, Professor. Of course.” Hermione grabbed the plates off the counter and went to brush past him. He refused to move so she was force to hold the plates against her stomach as she squeezed between his hard body and the counter. The dress hadn’t allowed for a bra and in that moment Hermione would have given up magic for her body to not have betrayed her the way it did. 

She hadn’t felt him in two months and she missed him. His hands gripping her hips. His lips on hers. His mouth around her harden nipples as his teeth lightly scraped against them. His hands making her cum over and over. The way his eyes instantly went dark and he looked down at her let her know he knew it as well. 

“Please let me fucking explain what happen.” His fingers came up and brushed up and down her arms. He seemed to relish in the shiver that went through her body. He very rarely cursed at her and even though she knew she should be offended by his words she couldn’t help how it effected her. 

“Please, don’t do this to me.” Hermione begged him. 

“Tomorrow’s the full moon, Hermione. If anything you’re doing this to me. Do you have any idea how badly I’ve missed you? And the first time I see you, you’re holding hands with Fred? And within ten minutes of getting you alone you assault me with your perfect scent?” Lupin had taken the plates from her and set them down on the counter. “I have a good reason. I’ll prove it to you. Let me show you how much I’ve missed you.” 

His eyes were black. Hermione had been with him plenty of times around the full moon, but never after going this long without being around each other. She could tell he was needy. He knew she wanted him. 

“Professor. You aren’t thinking straight. Someone could walk in at any time.” Hermione looked over her shoulder at the group. Lupin took the opportunity to kiss her neck and lick his way up. 

“I have missed you. This summer has been so different than what I’m use to. So empty without you.” Lupin gripped her hips to drag their bodies together. 

“Remus, stop it.” Hermione put her hands on his chest. She could have swore she heard him growl. “Tonight. When everyone goes to sleep. Meet me in the shed?” 

“Hermione, I can’t promise that tonight I’ll be able to control myself any better.” 

“It’s okay. Tonight.” Hermione quickly grabbed the plates and wiggled out of his grip making them both groan.  

“Hermione.” She stopped at the plea in his voice. “I’m sorry. I have missed you. I got carried away just now. I’m sorry.” 

She just nodded her head and went back outside. 

Dinner went by just fine. Harry and Ron peppered the Aurors, and by extension their Professor, with tons of questions about Auror life. Lupin was hard up to talk about bringing in werewolves who were being charged with crimes, but he did indulge with details of the arrest if the other men took the lead. Hermione kept to herself having sat by Fred at dinner. She could feel Lupin’s eyes on her occasionally and as loathe as she was to admit it she wanted to make him jealous. When she felt her eyes on him she not so discreetly allowed her hand to move from the table down to Fred’s knee the red head boy staring at her in shock. Like the quick witted boy he had always been he was able to school his features and smile lazily at her which she returned. 

“I think I’ll stretch my legs a bit.” Lupin announced to the table before getting up and walking off. Hermione removed her hand with a terse smile. 

After that it seemed that most of the table dispersed with the men, and boys, taking to drinking Firewhiskey in the garden and the women cleaning up in the kitchen. Ginny and Hermione shared one look that let them know they both resented their allotted roles. It seemed like the night would last forever. At 11:00 Weston and Kingsley finally said goodnight and it was another hour before everyone else made a move to retire to their own bedrooms. 

It wasn’t until 2:00 in the morning that Hermione felt she was safe to sneak out to the shed. Wearing nothing but slip ons, sleep shorts, and a white tank she thought the summer air would protect her, but Hermione forgot that Devon was plagued by storms in the summer and one had just picked up as she stepped out into the garden. She tried to dash to the shed as quickly as possible, but it seemed that she was destined to get soaked regardless. 

Making her way inside she tried to follow what little light was provided by the almost full moon through the dusty and cracked windows to the workbench. Lupin wasn’t there. She made her way around the shed once just in case, but if he was here he would have seen her coming and heard her enter. She stood at the workbench and waited while watching the rain coming in. She thought it would just be a quick summer shower, but the clouds were becoming heavier and the moonlight would soon be covered up. 

Inside the shed the wait was becoming a health risk to the 14 year old as the rain water wasn’t drying as fast from her clothes and her skin was becoming cool from the air not going back to the oppressive heat she had been hoping for. She realized she had been shivering when her teeth clattered together for the first time. She didn’t know what time it was, but she knew if her body had long enough to react in this way it was long enough to know Lupin wasn’t coming. She turned to leave only to come face to face with the werewolf. And he did look like his werewolf self. 

Lupin was staring at her up and down. Eyes just a bit wider. Smile just a bit more bit sinister. Body a bit broader. But when his eyes met hers that all faded and his usual calm and gentle ways came to his face. He was still openly looking her up and down, but it was in his loving way. 

“Hermione, I’m sorry. Weston wanted to get a drink. I felt obligated to indulge him.” He made his way closer to her. He ignored the step she took back towards the work bench. “You’re freezing. Why didn’t you cast a warming charm?” 

“Can’t. I have the trace on me.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Right. You’re underage.” Lupin let out a long breath. 

He took another step forward still ignoring the step she took back into the workbench. She couldn’t go any further back so if she wanted to get away from him she would have to make it more obvious. Wordlessly, he took off his cardigan and tapped it with his wand to dry it and heat it. Hermione took, trying to make the grab as polite as possible, but failing, and stuffed her arms through it. It was much too large on her and she attempted to wrap it around her. 

“Leave it open. Please?” Lupin appraised her body. “I want to see all of you.” 

Hermione let her eyes bore into his face as she let her hands drop from the buttons and the cardigan fell open exposing the wet tank top that clung to her torso for him. Part of her wanted to make a snide comment about how after all this time he could only be bothered to look at her body, another part wanted him to touch her, and still another part wanted to beg him to dry her as her nipples were so cold they actually hurt pressed up against the material. 

“I suppose I am the one who asked you here.” Hermione stated. 

“I wanted to write to you this summer. I did write. It’s just that I got very little alone time and when I did it seemed like I would prattle on and on in the letters. When I try to send off a quick note to you from work it always seemed like someone was over my shoulder.” Lupin’s eyes held honesty, but Hermione wasn’t ready to budge. 

“So, you just didn’t send anything? Worried someone was going to intercept the letters you did write?” Hermione scoffed at him.

“Well, yes actually.” Lupin placed one hand on her waist. Instantly, the warmth from his skin flooded Hermione’s skin. 

“What? You think people at the Ministry are reading your letters? Professor, come on. That’s just-“

“It’s not the craziest thing, Pet. This summer…It’s been amazing. Almost everyone in the Aurors department has been wonderful. A couple prats here and there, but really just some of the best people. But others at the Ministry? They aren’t as accepting; not that I can say I’m surprised…” Lupin was moving his thumb around in a little circle. Hermione knew she wasn’t reacting the way he wanted. 

“Hermione, I’m still going to prove it to you. I didn’t go home to the cottage tonight, but I will prove it to you. Please, don’t be mad at me, love.” He was impossibly close to her now. Both hands had gripped her waist. 

“You didn’t have a problem writing Harry. Or coming here? We talked about how you would treat me the same. You wouldn’t single me out. I guess I thought you might… I don’t know at least do something.” Hermione’s voice was cracking. It wasn’t from emotion. She was worried she was getting hypothermia. 

“Writing to Harry is more of a badge of honor than a friendship thing. I do enjoy my friendship with Harry, but honestly, God this will make me sound like such a bad person, Harry’s name was able to offer me a bit of a lifeline. There were a few in the department who were stand offish and when one announced I was writing to Harry more seemed to come around. Coming around here was more because the others did. I won’t lie it has been nice to see Arthur and Molly without seeing all the dead people in my memory.” Lupin gave the long winded explanation. He had bent down to kiss her neck at the end. Hermione reached one hand up and grabbed his upper arm, but made no other moves. 

“Hermione, please. What can I do? What can I say?”

“Nothing, that’s actually a really good explanation.” Hermione smiled at him. 

“Please don’t lie to me.” Lupin narrowed his eyes at her and took a step back. The warmth of his hands being sorely missed.

“I’m not lying.” Hermione’s teeth were cemented together to stop the chattering. 

“On any given day I can tell when you want me. On the night before the full moon I should be able to smell you inside the house from out here even with this storm. You’re this pissed at me?”

“Well, Professor, if maybe you could use some of your other wolf like senses besides smell, you would be able to see and feel that my body is practically frozen. I don’t think I can feel my toes.” 

“What?” Lupin moved his left hand to Hermione’s leg. “Fuck, Hermione! You’re like ice.” 

Lupin quickly tapped her legs and head with warming charms and began to dry her shorts and tank top. After she was warm to the touch she could properly focus on their conversation. 

“Did you even try to see me? Did you want to?” Hermione studied how close their feet stood together. She couldn’t seem to get her voice to rise in volume. 

“Of course I wanted to see you.” 

“Okay.” Hermione bit her lip while nodding her head. She didn’t want to fight with him. She allowed her hands to trail up his arms still covered in the white button down until they reached his neck. She played with the hair in the nape in his neck for a minute while staring into his eyes. Having him so close to her after two months gave her body the permission it needed to respond to him as it knew how. 

“Oh, Pet. I’ve missed you.” Lupin moved to put his hands back around her waist. His lips were on hers with an urgency she had never known. He wanted her, badly. His hands had moved up her waist and she could feel his thumbs grazing the under side of her breast almost reaching the harden nubs that become her nipples. Their bodies were flushed together and she could feel his growing erection against her belly.  

“Wait, please. Stop.” Hermione broke from their kiss. With just one word he was off of her, but she could see on his face that it pained him. He was breathing hard and his pants were tented. “I’m sorry, Professor. I don’t want to. Not tonight.” 

“I see-“ Lupin looked out the window trying to hide his disappointment. “I won’t ask you not to be upset with me. I said I would prove it to you and I will.” 

When he looked at her again it wasn’t disappointment, but rather sadness at having been rejected. 

“You have to understand. All summer with nothing but a short note from you I can’t just be expected to fall back into how it was. You do understand right?” Hermione took his hand in hers rubbing his knuckles the way they both liked.

“Yes, I do.” Lupin exhaled loudly. Hermione moved her body into his and snuggled into his hard chest. She tried her best to ignore the erection that still pressed into her belly and just enjoy the warmth she received from him. She tilted her head up and smiled into the small kisses he placed on her lips. They stayed there for several moments enjoying their innocent kisses and the feeling of having the other close. 

“I should get back inside. It’s late.” Hermione finally broke away from him. 

“I’ll be at the World Cup. Weston asked me to work with a few of the other teams that night so I’ll be there. I know you’re going. I’ll look for you.” Lupin kissed her hand as they walked towards the door. 

“If you’re working with the other teams will you be sharing a tent?” Her cheeks burned with her blush. Why, when this man had seen her naked so many times before, would she be afraid to ask him such a question? She was hopeful he would be able to make good on his promise and prove to her he still wanted her. 

“No, love. I’ll have my own tent.” Lupin and his kind smile melted her. 

They made their goodbyes with another chaste kiss. Hermione had to stop herself from dragging him back into the shed, but she knew she couldn’t give in. Even though she wouldn’t admit it she knew he was telling the truth when he said he could prove it to her. What she also couldn’t admit was that she didn’t want to be seen as easy to him. Someone who would just roll over for him whenever he came around. He would have to put in some work. It couldn’t be like last year where she gave in after a fight or two and a kiss. No, Remus Lupin would have to meet her halfway every time for now on.

The four days it took for them to the travel to the World Cup felt longer than the two months of the whole summer. Hermione spent most of that time shopping with Ginny and Mrs. Weasley. Avoiding Fred. Helping the boys pack. Avoiding Fred. Cooking and cleaning with Mrs. Weasley. Avoiding Fred. Reorganizing books and her trunk. And avoiding Fred. 

The guilt was tearing her apart. She had used him so brazenly in front of Lupin to make him jealous and she had known there was a small part of him, she thought, that liked her. He had basically admitted to it during the House Cup match and she had taken advantage of it. She wanted to talk to him, but there was never any time where they wouldn’t be interrupted so she stuck with her plan of avoiding him. As soon as they were on the train back to Hogwarts he would forget all about her. That’s what she told herself. Eventually, during a pickup game of Quidditch dodge bludger, Fred found Hermione inside the front sitting room. 

“There you are.” He was breathing heavy. 

“Out so soon?” Hermione popped her head above the book and looked around for anyone else who could be listening in on their conversation. Finding no one she put the book down and sat up to face one half of the twins. 

“Yeah, did it on purpose. Like those clowns could ever touch me. I wanted to talk to you and thought now would be the best time. While everybody else was distracted.” Fred sat down next to her. 

“Fred, I’ve wanted to talk to you too. Listen, I feel like maybe I’ve been sending you mixed signals.” Hermione put her hand on his thigh. He smiled down at it. 

“I’d say.” Hermione ripped her hand away like he burned her. “‘Mione listen. I’m not going to say I don’t think you have feelings for me. I mean who wouldn’t, but I will say, I think until we can figure out how we feel for each other we should acknowledge that there’s something of an admiration thing going on here.” 

Fred had wriggle his eyebrows at her. His maturity had surprised her. 

“You’re right, Fred. An admiration. Hm, I like that.” Hermione laughed dryly. “I’m sorry if I’m confusing you.” 

“Not really confusing, ‘Mione. For you? I’ll wait around in the pitch.” Fred stood and stretched his arms above his head making his shirt rise above hips. He threw a wink down at her and walked off. 

The next morning, or night depending on who you ask, Hermione got all the boys up and out the door and to the apparition point to join the hordes of those going to the Cup. Hermione and Harry stood in awe at the massive amount of magic and coordination it took keep muggles away while also keeping the wizards and witches in this world. The tent was an even more wonderful feat. Hermione and Ginny were giddy from being around so many people and the promise of the excitement of the game. 

“Hey, who fancies a walk?” Harry called out. All the kids made their way out of the tent just as Percy and two older men walked in. Percy looked just as self-important as ever so Fred called out that he would look for a fresh stick to shove up his ass. Both older men chuckled openly at that. 

As the group walked around they were able to spot a few of their schoolmates and stopped to talk with Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. The latter taking a particular interest in Ginny. They saw a couple of the Aurors working the perimeter of the setup and a few who were dressed more plainly walking between the vendors. Eventually, they spotted their tall professor standing out amongst the others walking towards them. 

“Lupin!” Ron shouted.

“Professor Lupin, Ron, please.” Hermione corrected him. Ron rolled his eyes so aggressively his whole head turned in a circle. 

“Hello, my students. How are you finding this whole setup?” Lupin smiled gently at them. Hermione wondered if anyone else could tell that he looked tired from the full moon three nights ago. He should be feeling better with regular wolfsbane potion, but without it being fresh he would be feeling the effects more than normal. 

It didn’t seem so as the boys launched into all the things they found so cool about the Cup and all the vendors and all the people there from all over the world. Ginny was just leaving her conversation with Dean when Harry asked Lupin how his Auror work was coming along.

“Well, I have to say, as far as a final week of work goes this is hardly the worse one I’ve had.” Lupin’s smile told them everything. He was beyond happy at his chance at working this summer. “Harry, when the time comes I think you should really consider-“

“There you are!” A purple hair girl ran up behind Lupin putting both hands on his shoulders and jumping up and down a bit. 

“Here. Everybody, this is Tonks. She’s a new Auror and my partner for the Cup.” Lupin waved a hand at the woman standing beside him. 

“Of course we know Tonks! How are you?” George smiled widely at her as both the twins hugged her. “Tonks, use to date our brother Charlie at Hogwarts. Her last year was your first year.” He explained to Hermione and Harry. 

“Oh, wow and you’re already an Auror?” Harry couldn’t contain his excitement. 

“Yep! It takes a three year training program, but here I am.” Tonks was bouncing around. She kept bumping into Lupin and smiling up at him. Hermione could tell she was more than interested in him by the eyes she was making at him. 

“You didn’t have to do a training program, Professor?” Hermione asked trying to get his eyes on her. 

“Professor! Oh, Remus, you have such adorable students.” Tonks ruffled Hermione’s hair. 

“Ow!” Lupin grabbed his hand. A sting mark had bloomed on his hand. 

“Fuck. Someone cursed you!” Tonks shouted. 

“And now they know we know. No, look how many kids are around here. I’m sure one of them did it on accident.” Lupin cupped his hand as a second one bloomed on his hand. 

Hermione could feel the magic moving through her before she could stop it. The first one had been an accident. The second one was on purpose for equating her to a child. Judging by the flash of his eyes to her he knew that. 

“Remus, we better get back to patrol.” Tonks took Lupin by the arm and pulled him along. Hermione appreciated the little tug he made to get his arm back. 

“I’ll see you guys soon. Enjoy the match!” Lupin was off. 

After the group made their way back to the tent Arthur had prepared dinner for them and they all sat down. It wasn’t long before the boys were arguing over which team would win and the validity of each team member. Hermione, Harry, and Ron cleaned the table and lounged with the others. Hermione couldn’t help how restless she was; seeing Lupin again and knowing that he was still determined to prove to her that he missed her this summer made her tell everyone she was going on a walk. Ron and Fred both offered separately to accompany her, but she said she might enjoy a longer walk than usual. 

As she began her walk around Hermione couldn’t believe how alive the field was at night. She found herself gravitating towards the forest line. Unlike the Forbidden Forest she knew this forest was less likely to hold dangerous creatures or magical beings. Looking at her watch she had already been walking for an hour when she heard two low voices. She couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but she could tell one was dominating the conversation and extremely mad at the other. Hermione moved closer to hear just a bit of the conversation. She knew eavesdropping was wrong, but her curiosity was peaked. 

“You are an exceptional disappointment.” Hermione saw two platinum heads and almost ran away to give them privacy, but seeing the younger Malfoy’s face she stayed behind. “Fall in line, Draco. This is the real world.” 

“I know in which world I reside, Father. I just so happen to like it the way it is and don’t fancy some megalomanic freak-“ 

Lucius backhanded Draco. His hair barely moved while Draco’s body fell to the ground. When he stood back up his mouth was bleeding terribly and he had hunched his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Father. The excitement of the match has gotten to me. I forget my place.” Hermione had never heard Malfoy’s voice so small. 

“See to it you don’t again.” Lucius walked away from him. Hermione watched as he joined the fray. Her gaze reverted to Malfoy. The boy had sunk to the first floor and was wiping the blood from his mouth. It was looking worse as it mixed with his tears. 

She wasn’t sure what compelled her to walk up to him, but from the way he tensed she knew he thought it was someone else. She crouched down on her knees behind him and wrapped her arms around him. She pulled him as close to her as she could as he cried. 

“Granger?” He looked up at her. 

“Hey.” Hermione wanted to die at the incredibly lame greeting. 

Malfoy attempted to get out of her grasp, but Hermione just held tighter. 

“I don’t need your fucking pity, Granger.” Malfoy growled at her still fighting against her arms. 

“Shut up, Malfoy.” Hermione brought her legs to his side as he finally relaxed into her embrace. 

Hermione had a million thoughts running through her mind, but she knew if she spoke now it would only bring out Malfoy’s crueler side. They sat there until he had calmed down enough. Without the use of magic Hermione had relied on using tissues from her bag. They waited until his eyes weren’t as red or puffy as his friends would take the mickey out of him if they saw him like that. Eventually, she let go of her grip on his chest and they both rose from the forest floor. 

“Well, thanks for that.” Malfoy looked around at everywhere, but Hermione’s face. 

“Sure.” Hermione bobbed her head. Again, knowing she wanted to say more, but not wanting to put him in a situation where he would feel the need to unleash his mean side. 

“Listen, it’s not what you think. It’s complicated.” Malfoy made eye contact with her; he was overly defensive. 

“Malfoy. Stop.” She put her hand on his chest. Malfoy closed his eyes and took a deep breath in and exhaling just as loudly. “I think it’s exactly what it looked like. If you’re asking me not to tell anyone… I don’t know, Draco.” 

“Please, it’s not as easy as you think it is. If you tell anyone. It won’t matter.” Malfoy was standing less than a foot from her and whispering down at her. 

“It would matter! Someone could help you.” He looked at her before laughing manically. 

“Granger. I don’t know how things are done in the muggle world, but here there is no one to help. My father avoided Azkaban after the war. Think about that. Do you think anyone is going to care about him smacking his son around a bit?” 

“I’m sorry, Draco.” Hermione closed the gap between them and hugged him close. They pulled away and dropped their arms. 

“Anyway, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone.” Malfoy said. 

“Of course. It’s so late. We should both get back.” Hermione started walking towards the tree line. While it’s true that it was late the party was still going on. They parted wordlessly. Hermione took one last look at him as he disappeared in the crowd. 

She began the long walk to the tent knowing it would be at least thirty minutes to get there. As she was about to pass the post to the enter the tent field she spotted Lupin and Tonks. They were staring straight ahead and standing so close together Hermione couldn’t see between their arms. She assumed Lupin knew Tonks had a crush on him. She couldn’t fault the woman. She didn’t want to disturb him while he was working. At least that’s what she told herself at first. The closer she got to them she had to be honest in admitting that she didn’t want Tonks to make her feel every bit of the 14 year old she was. It was humiliating. She knew it would wear on Lupin and could cause another fight. No, she would walk pass them and make her way back to the tent. 

“Hermione?” She kept walking. Fifteen minutes from the tent. 

“Hermione!” Lupin grabbed her arm and spun her around. Tonks was so close to him it was like their clothes were sewed together. 

“Oh, hey!” Hermione was two for two on witty greetings tonight. She could only hope her internal cringe stayed internal. 

“What are you doing out here it’s almost 11.” Lupin was looking at her like he was upset and wanted to say more. He took a side look at Tonks who was also staring at Hermione with a less discernible expression. 

“I was out for a walk and then ran into a friend. I’m heading back now.” Hermione’s smile was tight. She didn’t like having this kind of conversation in front of a stranger. Especially a stranger that was hanging on Lupin the way she was. He was scolding her like he was her Professor. Even though he technically was he almost never talked to her like this. 

“I’ll walk you back. It’s 11 now. Tonks.” Lupin turn to look at the woman. 

“I’ll go with you! We’re off anyway.” Tonks smiled brightly at him. 

“That’s okay. You two enjoy your time off.” Hermione’s smile fell from her face as she looked at Tonks smiling so hard at Lupin. She threw the younger witch a wink that Hermione did not appreciate. 

“I insist. Tonks, see you in the morning.” Lupin took her by the arm and steered her back towards the tent. They were walking for almost ten minutes before Hermione realized they weren’t walking towards the Weasley tent. 

“Where are we going, Professor?” Hermione asked just as he brought them to a halt outside of a modest tent. He looked around before bending to go inside dragging her behind him. 

The inside of the tent was just like the Weasley’s. Normal camping tent from the outside, a small flat on the inside. There was a small kitchen and a comfortable looking bed and a seating area. Hermione went over to the coffee table between the chairs and sofa. 

“Find much time to read Witch’s Weekly?” Hermione questioned. Lupin was over at the kitchen putting on the kettle. 

“I try my best to broaden my horizons.” Lupin deadpanned. “No, it’s Tonks.” 

Hermione dropped the magazine quickly on the table. And stepped back between the chairs. 

“Right, I’ll just be taking off. I should get back anyway.” Hermione moved towards the exit. It looked just like a door. 

“Hermione, wait. What’s wrong?” Lupin levitated the tray of tea over to the footstool at the end of the bed. 

“Nothing. I just don’t think I should be here.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She was being a stubborn brat. Why was she always having to spell things out for him? 

Lupin walked over to her and gently took her arms away from her body. He searched her face trying to find something in her eyes. 

“Talk to me, love.” 

“Why is Tonks in your tent?” 

“We work together. She stops in before and after shifts. It’s why she thought she would come along.” Lupin dismissed Hermione’s concern. 

“So, in the couple of months you guys have been working together… She’s who Mrs. Weasley thought you were seeing?” Hermione glared at him. 

“Yes, she’s a bit of a clinger. I don’t think she’s actually interested. Most of the Aurors aren’t actually that young surprisingly enough. I think she likes the connection.” Lupin again dismissed the concerns. “Please come sit with me.” 

Hermione allowed him to lead her back to the bed. They sat there without speaking while Lupin fixed the tea. She drank it, but declined the biscuits he held out for her. They still didn’t speak even after the tea was done. She was about to leave when he got up from the bed thinking that he would bid her goodnight. Only for him to take the tea tray back to the kitchen and then to start rummaging through his rutsack. He pulled out the thickest stack of envelopes Hermione had ever seen. Again, wordlessly, he walked over and sat down handing it to the witch. 

“Sir?” Hermione took them. 

“Proof.” His calm smile gracing his face. 

Hermione took a look through the letters that were twined together. The first dated the day she left Hogwarts in June. 

“I don’t understand. Why didn’t you just send them? You were really that worried someone would read them?” Hermione flipped through them. It looked like there was one for every day. Flipping through again there was one dated every day. 

“As you now know I wasn’t alone a lot of my summer.” Lupin’s crooked smile came out as his hand landed on her hand that was still flipping through the pages. “Some of them are more expressive emotionally and…otherwise. Do you understand a bit more?” 

“Yes, Professor I do.” Hermione smiled at him. The first real smile she’s allowed herself to give him. 

“Mione, please try and call me by my first name. At least for tonight while we’re not in front of anyone else.” He was pulling her closer to him. 

“Kiss me, Remus.” Hermione looked up at him. 

The man leaned down to to capture Hermione’s lip with his own. She felt like she was really kissing him after two months. His lips were still soft and yet firm against hers. They maintained their dominance as they moved in tandem with her own. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip before he moved it to open her mouth. Once inside her their passion took over and Hermione let the smallest moan escape her mouth. Lupin’s tongue rolled over hers and swirled around putting her into a frenzy. She moved her hands into his hair tugged his strands to get him closer to her as he sat her in his lap. She broke their kiss. 

“I missed you, Remus.” Hermione breathed out. Her words turned to whimpers as he began kissing down her neck and rubbing one of his hands up and down her side. His mouth would stop to suck on her pulse point and lick over the tender skin. Her high pitched gasp were taking over the silence in the tent. 

Hermione removed herself from his lap and went back to kissing his mouth with a renew vigor. Her small fingers took off his cardigan and unbuttoned his white Oxford. As she pushed it off and her hand made contact with the small tuft of hair on his chest Lupin’s hand came up on top of hers. 

“I don’t want you to stop, but I don’t want you to feel pressured.” He was murmuring against her lips not wanting to move from her. 

“And if I just want to feel you on me?” Hermione pushed his shirt off his shoulders and tapped his arms to get him to bring his hands up so she can undo the wrist buttons. Hermione couldn’t stop her hands from roaming his hard chest muscles. She ran her hands down his chest to the trail of sandy hair that led to his buckle. Her fingers combing through the hair there a couple of times before reaching for his belt making quick work of it. She popped the button on his trousers and pulled down the zipper slowly. She could feel his erection pressing through the thin material of his boxer shorts, but she didn’t want to pay too much attention to it just yet. At this point Lupin was practically purring for her. 

“Hermione, you’re teasing me.” Lupin smiled against her neck where he had been laying kisses. 

When Hermione let out a small laugh Lupin snatched up both of her hands and pinned her down on the bed. 

“Tell me you missed me, love.” Lupin hovered over top of her. 

“I missed you, Remus. I miss you everyday. All the time.” Her hand came up and stroke the side of his face. 

“Tell me you missed more than this.” Lupin looked into Hermione’s eyes. Hermione could see it then. She could still feel him panting above her. Feel his harden cock pressing into her thigh begging for her attention. His muscles flexing and releasing as he held himself above her. But in his eyes Hermione could see how he felt. He wanted her to tell him that it wasn’t just the sex and the physical part he wanted her to want him. He wanted her to miss him. 

“I missed you, Remus.” Hermione put both hands on his face. “I missed you.” 

Lupin moved off of her and pulled her shirt from her body. She was left in a new black bra she had to buy due to her growing form. Hermione watched as Lupin drank in her curves. He moved back to her side and kissed her deeply again. He ran his hand over her belly and she arched into him. Her leg came up to hook over his to pull him as close to her as possible. Their chests pressed tightly against each others Hermione couldn’t help moving just enough to get the friction on her peaked breasts. Lupin pulled her shoulder up towards him and unclasped her bra. He watched as the straps gracefully fell down her arm. Hermione, in a frustrated moan, ripped the garment from her body and threw it to the floor. She let out another moan as their heated bodies finally connected skin to skin. 

Lupin kissed down her neck again and licked in the dips of her collarbones. He nipped along the bones and gently licked behind his own path. 

“Remus, please.” Hermione arched her back off the bed in an attempt to get him to move down to neglected mounds. Finally, he circled a nipple with his tongue before taking it into his mouth. He sucked on it before grazing his teeth on it. His other hand moved to her other breast and rolled the nipple between his fingers then pinching it just hard enough for Hermione to cry out. He switched his mouth to that nipple and Hermione went back to her labored breaths and moans. Her hands were buried in his head and her back was arched off the bed. She was moving her hips in small circles trying to give him a bit of relief on his aching member. Finally, gaining some senses she reached down and pushed his trousers down his hips taking his boxers with them. His erection bounced free and she was just able to grip the tip. 

“Remus.” Hermione whined his name out. “Please, I want to touch you.” 

“Later, Pet.” He looked up at her from between her breast. He leaned back on his hunches. He moved his hands to her jeans and pulled them down her thighs. He stopped long enough to unlace her sneakers and pull them off with her socks. With her jeans off Lupin took in her whole body with the thin black cotton panties being the only thing left on her. 

Remus leaned down and kissed her hip bone. Then switched over and kissed her other one. He slowly kissed down to her knee before moving over and repeating the motion on the other side. When he reached the top of the knee he moved to kiss up her thigh moving to kiss up the  inside Hermione could feel his hair as it dropped against her panties on his top most kiss. He moved down to other knee and began his journey up again. This time when he got up he laid a kiss right in the middle of her legs. 

“Oh, um, I…I” Hermione was speechless. The one kiss had taken her ability to talk from her and left her head reeling for more. In her summer reading pursuits she had read about this, but she also read that guys didn’t like to do it. She had read a lot over the summer.

Lupin was dropping more soft kisses to the center of her body. She knew from looking into his eyes that he was loving how wet she was as the smell would surely be invading his senses. 

“You don’t have to, Professor.” Hermione whimpered as his kisses got harder. 

“Hermione, what did I say?” Slowly his fingers ran up the outside of her legs finding her shapely hips and pulling down her panties. Hermione had to wonder if he knew that he took a deep inhale when he got them off. Slowly, he ran his fingers lightly parting her lower lips to expose her to him. 

Hermione tried to keep breathing deeply, but she couldn’t help the desire to cover up that was overtaking her. She could feel him as he put her legs over his shoulders and his fingers delicately caressed her clit while holding her folds open. Then just as delicately she felt his tongue move from her opening to her aching nub where it circled and pressed down. She couldn’t help the loud gasp and the way her hands grabbed at his hair. 

“I’m sorry, Professor. Oh my god, I’m sorry. That feels… oh, oh.” Hermione’s head was tilted back in his pillows her eyes screwed shut and her mouth open. She didn’t think she’d ever felt anything so good, but his soft tongue licking her was making her feel what she imagined feeling high was like. 

Lupin, thankfully, ignored the slip up of the honorific coming from his witch, as he moved his tongue up and down alternating between soft and hard strokes. He settled into swirls around her clit that would illicit the most delicious moans and gasps from her. Hermione didn’t let out those high pitch fake moans, but rather heady and throaty moans from her belly. Right before her head would tilt back in ecstasy she would release a long ‘mmm’ and give a slight tug on his hair. She was worried she was hurting him, but it only made his cock harder. 

Hermione’s whole body felt like it was on fire. She knew what it felt like before she came, but this was a different experience. His tongue was so soft and had such purpose. It was everywhere and controlling her. She wanted to crawl away and at the same time couldn’t stop the rolling of her hips trying to get him closer. She wasn’t sure, but it sounded like she was switching between begging him and apologizing. She knew she was getting too loud when she could feel him begin to suck on the bundle of nerves he had been worshipping. 

“Remus, please. Please. It’s too much. I’m going-“ Hermione’s toes curled in hard as her heels pressed down into his bare back. Her thigh muscles squeezed tightly. 

With one more swirl and a flick of his tongue she was cumming on his face. He didn’t move. Instead, Remus continued to lick and swirl his tongue on her clit helping her ride her full body orgasm. Hermione clawed at the bed spread beneath her needing something to hold on to until finding her hand on one of her tits and the other back in his hair. She felt every inch of lewdness as she held on while her body ground up against his face. She couldn’t breathe and her eyes hurt from how tightly she had them shut. All she could hear was her own voice calling his name over and over again without being able to tell how loud it was. 

Slowly she came back down and the grinding of her hips slowed. Her grips on her own breast and his hair eased and she was able to slowly open her eyes and take a breath. Try as she might she couldn’t totally stop her hips from rolling towards him. She felt like a whore the way her body was desperate to have him close to her. 

“I’m so sorry.” She whispered down at him. Even though she gave an apology she didn’t stop her hand from playing with the impossibly hard nipple between her fingers or stop her hips from trying to find his mouth again. 

“What are you sorry for, Pet?” He kissed the inside of her thigh and Hermione could feel her slickness on his face transfer to the skin there. She watched up as he got up on his knees and looked down at her. Her hand was still working over her nipple as the other made to push down at her hip bone. It felt like aftershocks were still going through her. Her knees had fallen out to the side. She had never been so exposed before. 

“That was…too much. I didn’t know what was happening and I felt too out of control.” She whispered. Red bloomed on her cheeks. “I mean I know what was happening.” 

Lupin cocked an eyebrow at her as a smirk played on his lips. Hermione’s body still had a slight shake to it, but she let the euphoric laugh fall from her mouth. It felt like her brain was firing at a million miles per hour while not working at all. Lupin put one hand down by her head and leaned over her. The way his bare chest felt just inches from hers made Hermione anxious. He kissed her so lightly. 

“I want you out of control. Can I keep going, love?” He whispered in her ear as he kissed down her neck. Hermione couldn’t speak. She nodded her head and threaded her fingers through his hair bringing his lips back to hers. He made his way back down her collar bones biting and licking. He had just reached the breast she was still playing with when Hermione leaned up on her elbows. 

“I need your pants off.” She whispered. After being away from him all summer some of her shyness seemed to have returned. She worked them down his thighs unsure of how to navigate his bouncing erection. She knew he was smiling down at her as he lifted his knees for them to get around their last barrier. He kicked them off. 

“Lay back, love.” He pushed her back down. “Fuck, Hermione.” 

Remus stared down at her from between her legs. She watched as he grabbed his cock and gave it a few rough tugs. He looked like he was starving and he was eating up the imagine of her. 

“Put your knees up like this.” Remus moved her knees up so they butterflied at her hips. He was able to get closer to her and if possible Hermione felt even more exposed. “Hm, so open for me, love.” 

His voice made Hermione’s toes curl in that way where she knew she was getting impossibly wet again. Lupin moved his fingers down to her sex and traced the same path his tongue had just made. Teasing her, Hermione bit her lip to keep the bratty whines from leaving her mouth. He resumed his position of leaning over top of her with his hand by her head. She couldn’t stop smiling up at him as he held her eyes. 

So slowly, painfully slowly she hoped, she brought her hand up and swirled her tongue around her fingers. She knew how much he liked this. His fingers continued to make non-rhythmic patterns on her clit as his finger teased her soaked opening. Hermione allowed the spit to gather on her tongue before licking her hand. She watched realization dawn on his face and was rewarded with the most melodic groan as she quickly wrapped her warm hand around his shaft. She remembered how he liked to be jerked roughly at first before setting a steady pattern.

With her hand around his aching cock Lupin allowed one finger to enter Hermione’s tightness. He didn’t know if he ever felt a woman so wet before, but in that moment he was having a hard time remembering any woman except the gasping witch panting his name below him. 

“More, please. Remus. Please.” Hermione had settled on a nice rhythm with her hand. He knew watching her get so pleasured would bring him to completion soon. He watched her face as he added a second finer. “Oh, mm.” 

Hermione felt a twinge of something she couldn’t quite place with his second finger. Maybe pressure or stinging. It was quickly replaced with the pleasure she knew when his thumb landed on her clit and made the tight circles he knew would finish her quickly. She moved her hand in time with his fingers making sure to run her fingers over the head and gather the pre-cum that had gather there. 

“Hermione, love, I’m going to cum, stop for a second.” Remus grunted into her neck. He pulled back to look at her. She knew she was close, but she wanted to watch him cum over her. 

“No.” She smiled up at him while increasing the speed and tightness just a fraction. “I want you to cum for me, Remus. Cum on me.” 

“Fuck. Hermione.” He buried his face back into her neck as she felt his hips jerk in her hand as he rode out his orgasm. Hermione didn’t know if it was imagining him doing that while being buried in her or if it was feeling his hot cum land on her clit as his thumb continued its work, but Hermione came just as hard as before. She could feel her hips bucking up trying to chase his fingers as he let her fuck herself on his digits while she rode out her second orgasm. Coming back down this time Hermione did try and cover her face out of embarrassment. 

“Hey, hey. What’s all this?” He laid down on the bed and pulled her body on top of his as he flicked his wrist for the thick blanket at the foot of the bed to cover them. 

“It’s just embarrassing. I must seem so slutty making those noises and, oh god, moving like that on your fingers.” Hermione pushed her face into his chest. 

“What happen to the girl who barged her way into my bedroom and told me if I didn’t make her cum she would fail all her exams.” He was stroking her hair as, she could hear, he suppressed his laughter. 

“She got murdered by the same girl who cried over blowjobs and had sad masturbation sessions over the summer.” Hermione glared up at him. 

“Ah sad masturbation sessions. Can’t say I’m unfamiliar, but why would yours ever be sad, Pet?” 

“I would cum. It just didn’t feel as good as when you’re touching me.” Hermione played with the hair on his chest. 

“Hm, a lovely compliment.” He kissed her hair. Hermione admired his face as his eyes had fallen shut. He looked younger than he did a year ago on the train. His scars seemed thinner and faded. He was clearly sleeping better and eating better. The wolfsbane was helping the transformation. And he looked like he was on the verge of being a happy person. She wanted to stay in the tent with him forever, but she couldn’t imagine what would happen if she tried to sneak into the Weasley tent before dawn. 

“Remus, I should probably get back.” She didn’t look at him. She didn’t want to see if he looked disappointed or not. Instead she spoke out to the air of tent. 

“I’ll walk you back.” He checked the time. “Shit, it’s 1 am. We’ll have to tell them you got lost.” 

The pair got dressed exchanging coy smiles and innocent kisses. Hermione packed up the letters in her bag. Lupin held her hand for the few paces it took to get to the door of his tent and then walked with his hand on her lower back until they reached the tent. Hermione could hear the bunch from outside. They matched perfectly with the other commotion that was still going strong around. 

“Well, thank you for the escort, Professor.” Hermione smiled up at him. Another thing to add to the list of the things that she missed - the ability to have a conversation with just their eyes. 

“Get on inside, Miss Granger. Go to sleep. Busy day tomorrow, but perhaps I’ll see you. Enjoy the match.” Lupin squeezed her arm and lifted the flap of the tent. 

Hermione entered the tent to find the whole Weasley clan, except Mr. Weasley who had passed out on his own bed, still partying as hard as they could in the little makeshift living room. They knew she was gone, but if they had noticed for how long none of them had said anything. Hermione went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. Slipping into the covers she was hopeful she would be able to steal a few minutes with her … Remus tomorrow.

The next day the group headed to the pitch for the match. Hermione couldn’t help but feel invigorated at how excited everyone was for the game. The boys remained patient as they explained each player to her and their stats. How Victor Krum was apparently the best seeker in the world. Even with her trying to feed into their frenzy and give it as much attention as possible she couldn’t stop her gaze from watching as Malfoy boasted about being in the Minister’s box or how he followed his father around like a puppy. She knew logically her heart shouldn’t ache for him the way it did, but he had just seemed so sad; so resigned to his life. 

It was during halftime Hermione was forced to acknowledge that it wasn’t just her and the girls of her dorm room who had unchecked hormones. The Bulgaria’s team mascot, the Veela’s, were performing quite the show and Harry and Ron were practically drooling on their shoes at the twist and turns the blondes made. George was steadily clapping for each trick they did. Fred was smiling, but also looking over at Hermione. 

“Stop it. It is quite good.” Hermione pushed his arm and his smile grew wider. He clapped along with George and openly ogled the women. 

Hermione could feel a gaze on her and as she looked around her eyes found earthy green not too far from her posted up by a pillar. Lupin wasn’t watching the Veela’s, but rather watching her watch her friends. She blushed at the thought that he would prefer to be looking at her. Beside him Tonks was clearly raging against the Veela display. She would fit in nicely with Ginny who’s face was so red staring at Harry it matched her hair. Thinking about last night and right now Hermione thought that her summer was worth it to feel this happiness. 

Ron had been right in assumption that while Victor was the better seeker, Ireland was the better team. The Irish fans were going crazy for their win. The match didn’t end until midnight not that it mattered as everyone was too keyed up to go to sleep anyway. Mr. Weasley led the kids back to the tent where they ate and probably drank too many butter beers, no thanks to the twins. While the patriarch of the clan went to bed early he told the kids they could stay up for a few more hours if they didn’t wander too far form the tent.

“Not bloody likely. I’m going to go find one of those Veelas.” George quipped from the living space smiling into his butter beer. 

“George, no one wants to share your depression in having to hear you get rejected so publicly.” Ginny mumbled from the sofa. Her smart retort made everyone fall silent for a moment before a riotous laugh broke out. 

Their laughter startled Arthur from his slumber as he jumped up. Just as he was about to tell the kids to go to sleep there were more screams from outside. 

“Sounds like the Irish got their pride on.” Fred laughed. Arthur disappeared outside only to come running back in. 

He quickly started barking out orders. All Hermione knew is that she heard Death Easters and that she was to be running with the others to safety. Arthur said Cedric Diggory would be waiting for them and that the kids should all go together. When they started running it became apparent it was utter chaos. People and things were flying everywhere and in every direction. Hermione had never felt fear like that rising up in her as she called for Harry whose hand had fallen from hers. She saw the pointy black hats of the Death Eaters and several Aurors dueling them back. The chaos not offering them much room to round them up or battle them. Hermione spotted sandy hair.

“‘Mione! Hermione! Hermione!” Fred screamed after her as she broke out into a run towards Lupin. She had no idea what she was doing, but after three paces she knew she was making a mistake. Running to him would only cause a bigger problem. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ron roughly grabbed her arm. “We have to go!” 

They took off running after the twins and Ginny. Hermione hadn’t been running this summer and couldn’t keep up with Ron, who had upped his Quidditch practice, and their hands separated. The crowds separating them. She tried to fight her way back to him, but was pushed towards the woods. 

“Ron?” Hermione finally caught her bearing after having blindly ran forward only to find herself alone in the woods. She could hear her heart in her ears. If she was found out here by the Death Eaters… 

“Granger.” A smooth voice came from behind her. She whipped around quickly only to relax. 

“Draco. God. You gave me a fucking heart attack.” Granger clutched her chest with one hand while the other found a tree to lean against. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” He was glaring at her. 

“No shit, Malfoy. I got separated from the others while we were…wait. What are you doing here?” Hermione stood up to face him. Malfoy stared at her hard before walking right up to her and getting directly in her face. 

“You should leave.” He whispered at her. His face was close, his nose was basically touching her hair line as he angled his face down at hers. 

“Draco, please don’t tell me you know-“ Malfoy snatched her body close to his so her back was pressed against his chest. His hand pressed so hard over her mouth she wanted to cry out from the bruise that was surely forming. 

She attempted to fight back against him until she saw the group of men dressed in black cloaks coming towards the tree line. They were dragging several bodies behind them. Hermione stilled in the blonde boys grasp. Instead of fighting him her hand found the one clutching her waist and weaved her hand into his. She couldn’t tell who was gripping whose hand harder. 

The scene that unfolded in front of Hermione made bile rise in her throat. The only bodies the Death Eaters had with them were women and children. Presumably, any men that accompanied these women were already dead. The women were being flung around the air along with their children. Levitated and brought hard down on to the ground. Dirty hands were high in the air grabbing at whichever body parts hung down. If they happened to grab a piece of clothing they would rip it from the body. All of the victims had silencing charms cast on them, but their faces were clearly in anguish. 

Eventually, the game must have gotten old as all the bodies were dropped to the ground. Two women tried to fight back strongly and they were quickly dealt with with green shots of light. Hermione could have sworn that one woman fell and was staring right at her with her lifeless eyes. If Draco didn’t move his hand soon she would throw up on them both. 

Hermione counted the three children, bruised and bloodied, sitting, staring at the dead women. Hermione could only pray that neither of two women who were murdered were the mother of the young children. She watched as a man, or kind of a man, approached from the back of the group. He seemed to exchange some kind of polite words with a taller man as they seemed to be haggling over which of the three kids he could take. Finally, landing on a boy, who couldn’t have been more than six, with dark blonde hair and light eyes. As the man moved into the light to grab the boy Hermione could see that he appeared half man, half wolf. She began to fight in earnest against Draco’s hand. Dark blonde hair, light eyes. The imagine of a scared younger Remus flooded her mind. 

Hermione could feel Draco try to calm her down as she felt the scream sob building up in her body as she watched the werewolf take the boy roughly off to the side. The other Death Eaters turned their back on him. Surely, not in disgust given what they were doing to the women. Hermione watched as the man hit the boy to subdue him and rip his clothes off of him. Hermione watched as he removed his own trousers just enough to release himself and force himself into the boys mouth fighting him and beating him into submission. Draco continued to grip her so tightly she thought her ribs would crack. Hermione watched as the man flipped the boy over and stole his innocence and ripped his body. Hermione watched as he brought his sharp teeth down to the boys shoulder and bit him harshly and the blood sprayed into the night air. She watched, even when she thought she would blackout from fear and disgust. She watched because she hoped this boy knew she wanted to save him. 

Hermione ran through all the facts in her mind. Most werewolves could only spread lycanthropy during the full moon which had passed, but if this man was living as a werewolf he might be able to spread it whenever. She wasn’t sure. She couldn’t think. 

She wasn’t sure how long they had been left there, but eventually the revel came to an end and the group took their, living, victims and moved on. Draco slowly released Hermione. 

“Hermione, I have to go. Can you find your way back?” He spun her around to look into her eyes. “Granger. Go back to your tent. Your friends will come for you.” 

She nodded her head. Draco looked like he was going to say something else, but instead just touched her hand again and walked off. Hermione made her way out of the woods. She knew the light coming from above her was from the Dark Mark cast in the sky. She walked directly to the little boy lying still on the grass. He wasn’t moving which she assumed happened when you were murdered. 

“Hermione! There you are I’ve… fuck! What the fuck? Oh my god what the fuck!” Harry was running towards her taking in the scene. He was standing over her. Hermione had no idea when Harry and Ron had gotten there or when she had made her way to the ground. The boy’s blood was still warm sinking into her jeans. She pulled his body into her lap and cradled it. At least her tears began clearing some of the dirt from his face. Blue eyes stared up at her. She felt ill at the relief that his eyes were blue and not an earthy green. 

“Stupefy!” A group of Aurors shot off at them. She could vaguely hear Arthur Weasley screaming at all of them that they’ve lost the plot to think that the trio were responsible. Hermione looked up and saw half a dozen wands pointed at her one being Lupin’s. 

“Help me!” Hermione wailed. No one was moving. “Why aren’t you doing anything. Help me! Help me?” 

Hermione clung to the boy harder. Finally she felt two large hands gently slide over hers. 

“Hermione. He’s gone. Let him go.” Lupin took her hands and brought her arms towards him. Her face collapsing into him.

“I couldn’t do anything. He just ripped him apart.” Her cries were muffled by his cardigan. The soft cotton rubbing against her face. She looked off the side. “I threw up I think.”

“Don’t worry about that. Tonks, back off.” Hermione hadn’t realized the witch had moved towards her wand drawn. 

“Remus, she’s covered in blood. We have to question-“

“I said back off.” Lupin growled at her. All three kids stared shocked. They had never heard him speak like that and didn’t know he was capable of it. Tonks shrank back to rejoin the group conversation about tracking the man Harry had seen. 

“Ron, I’m going to take Hermione back to your tent. She’s in shock and needs tending to. I’m going to get her back to the Burrow. Tell the others. I’ll be back as soon as possible. Go, Ron.” Ron nodded his head and set his features. He was on a mission for an Auror. 

“Come on, Hermione.” Lupin hoisted her up from the ground helping her to gently lay the young boy down in the grass. Hermione had completely gone into shock. She walked because Lupin guided her. She didn’t think she was blinking. Her body was operating purely on biological instinct. They reached the Weasley tent and Lupin held the flap up for her as he pushed her inside. 

She stood there for a second as the warm scent of the Burrow helped her come back to herself. At the same time flashes of the werewolf biting the boy forced their way into her mind. White hot rage overcame Hermione like she had never known. With as much force as she could and all the adrenaline running through her body she spun around and slapped Remus across the face. 

The move shocking him into staggering back several steps he regained his balance and held a hand to his cheek. Hermione could see her handprint appearing, angrily, across his pale freckled skin. His eyebrows came together as he raised his other hand towards her. 

“It was a werewolf. That little boy.” Hermione gritted out. 

Shame instantly took over Lupin’s face. His shoulders sank in on himself. He began to look like a little boy who had been beaten. 

“I’m sorry, Hermione. We’re mon-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Hermione was seething. Lupin stared at her surprised.  “If you say anything… Just shut the fuck up. I never want to hear you say you’re anything like that. You’re nothing like that. You’re nothing like him. He’s the monster. You’re nothing like that.” 

Hermione launched her body at Lupin gripping at his back letting her nails dig into his skin through his clothes. If it hurt him he didn’t say anything. She was rambling about him being good and pure as he tried to hush her. The blood from her clothes transferring to his. Her tears soaking through to his shirt. He held her until she began to quiet down eventually leading them to a chair and sitting down. 

“You’re okay, love. Quiet now. You’re safe, now.” Lupin murmured in her ear. 

“It was horrible.” Hermione pulled back to look into his eyes. “I’m sorry I hit you. I don’t know what I was thinking. Just the thought that you would ever say you were like that. I couldn’t…I can’t .” 

Hermione just shook her head. After some time Lupin moved her off the worn couch and got her changed. For all the times he’d seen her naked body this time there was nothing sexual about it. It was loving in the way that he was taking care of her like no one ever had. From cleaning the dried blood off her leg to wiping the dirt off her face and neck. Hermione could feel the exhaustion taking over her body. She had never felt loved this way before. When her things had been gathered, on his back, and they had walked to the apparition point he placed his arms around her instructing her to hold on tight. 

“Remus?” Her voice was impossibly small. 

“Yes, love?” Lupin bent his head down to look into her eyes. 

“It’s all different now, right? Tonight. They’re back?” 

“I don’t know what tonight means.” He straightened up trying to compose himself. 

“But you’re worried. Please, don’t lie to me.” Hermione tugged on his hand. 

“I’m worried enough. Now hold on tight.” 

Lupin got her back to the Burrow. Molly ran out to greet them. Hugging Remus hard and trying to take Hermione from him. He insisted he had her. 

“Are the others back?” He asked as they all walked into the living room.

“Not yet. Any minute though I suspect.” Molly was wringing her hands and judging by the activity in the kitchen cooking up a storm for breakfast. The sun was cresting over the yard. Had it really only been a few hours, Hermione thought. 

After everyone was back and Molly had force fed them they all retired to bed. Hermione going first. She openly hugged Lupin thanking the Professor for helping her back. 

“Of course, Hermione. I’ll see you soon. Boys.” Lupin nodded at them. Hermione noticed the way Tonks grabbed his arm as they took off, but she was too tired to pay much attention to it. 

In the few days that passed before they went back to Hogwarts there was a tension over the warm house. Hermione would often be found just staring into space. Ginny was letting off accidental magic again. Ron was having angry outburst. Harry wouldn’t stop asking Arthur questions. In turn, Mr Weasley was taking them all in stride and trying to answer them as best he could. The twins were trying to lighten the mood, but most of their pranks just scared Ginny more. Finally, after one particularly bad set off of tears from Ginny and Hermione, George retired to his room. Every now and then Fred would come by and hold Hermione’s hand for a minute or two before moving on. Two days before they were meant to catch the train a letter swooped in and dropped off in front of Hermione. 

“Who’s that from?” Ron asked as if Hermione didn’t have other friends. 

“Professor Lupin.” Hermione responded without thinking. Surely she wouldn’t have to explain much more than that. Thank God for Molly Weasley. 

“Nice man. Checking up on you. He deserves a woman. If he would just let me set him up…”

If Molly was still talking Hermione couldn’t hear her as she walked out back to read her letter in private. 

Hermione, 

I’ve written and rewritten this letter I don’t know how many times. I hope you know how badly I wish I could come see you. I can’t imagine you’re doing well at all. After witnessing what you did no one would or should expect you to just bounce back.

Please know how much I wish to be with you. The Aurors are a bit frantic right now. There’s real worry about what happened. I hope the questioning wasn’t too bad. I wanted to be there, but Tonks said it would be better if I wasn’t there. That being your Professor made me too close to the situation and I could skew the interview somehow. I know you must have wanted me there, but I also know logically you agree it was better. I hope she was at least gentle on you. 

Hermione, I can’t wait to see. I’ll be taking train. The Aurors decided to watch it so they ask that I travel that way instead of floo. 

If you feel up to it please write back. If not, I won’t take it to heart. Either way please take care of yourself. Let the others take care of you too. 

All my love,

R. 

Hermione wiped the few stray tears that trailed down her face away. She knew he was busy. Tonks had been gentle, but the way in which Percy had stormed in the house two days ago demanding his family tell him everything told her that the Ministry was on high alert. It wasn’t just the Aurors that were worried. The fact that Remus was able to write to her at all allowed a bit of warmth to spread where a persistent chill had been since he found her knelt in the grass. He was thinking about her. Given all that had happened in the last 5 days she was content with that. 

Had Tonks been easy on her? Perhaps. Overzealous might be the better way to describe it. The fact that she saw Hermione as a student and as she said ‘you’re just a little girl Hermione I know you didn’t do this’ worked in her favor. No, Tonks had been fine. Looking back, it was probably good Hermione was probably so numb when Tonks was questioning her. The end of their chat turned personal. 

“You’re lucky, Hermione.” Tonks smiled at her coyly. 

“Lucky?” Hermione couldn’t help the sneer on her face. 

“Oh no. Not for this whole mess. I just mean I didn’t exactly have a Defense Against the Dark Arts teach like your Professor Lupin. Probably would have paid more attention during theory classes.” Tonks winked at her. 

“Oh?” Hermione pursed her lips at the older witch. “Oh! I understand. Yes. He is attractive.” Even to Hermione her voice sounded robotic. Tonks laughed her off easily. 

“Hermione, wow. The boys were right about you.” Tonks kept laughing. “Remus, too!” 

“What did they say?” She gave a fake smile trying to encourage the banter. 

“That you’re always stuck in some book or another and don’t bother looking up at what’s in front of you.” Tonks ruffled her head again. “Don’t worry I was a bit like you.”

“You were?” Hermione hoped her disgust could be taken for shock. 

“Yeah! Well, no. But some of my friends were. Late bloomers that is. Eventually the boys came around. Or are coming around. Will come around. No doubt about it a boy will look at you.” Tonks was smiling at her in all sincerity. It made Hermione miss the viciousness that was second year Lavender. 

“Um, thanks.” Hermione turned and left the room. 

Hermione’s reflection’s on the last few days had been easier than thinking about what caused the need for them to happen. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to think about the little boy or the two women she just didn’t want to talk about it with anyone currently in the Burrow. 

Before she realized it the days had passed and it was the night before the 1st. She was packing up her things when she found all the letters. Silently cursing herself for not having written Lupin back she vowed to find him at some point tomorrow on the train. Alone. She just wasn’t ready for all the commotion that would be the group vying for his attentions. 

“How many books you bringing on the train?” Ginny had thrown herself on her bed after packing. 

“One and a half.” Hermione held them up to a surprised Ginny. “I can’t seem to focus. The last couple of days…” 

“Yeah.”

“I thought about asking your Dad, but he gets all worried and starts yelling at the boys for not taking care of me and then Fred gets… you know. And your Mum, I don’t know, maybe it’s because she’s so different than my mum, but I think she feels responsible for not being there to stop me from having seen it.” Hermione kept her eyes on her trunk. “Maybe I can talk to Professor Lupin. He was in the war. He’ll know things. Having seen them…” 

“It’s funny hearing about them from your perspective. It’s like they sound overbearing in this crazy good loving way. And you’re hundred percent right.” Both girls lost themselves for a second in their giggles. “Fred is just weird about you. It’s like you guys have this thing that’s not a thing. Unless it is?”

“No! Not at all. I think I just see him differently than everyone else here.” Hermione shrugged her shoulders. Closing her trunk she laid on her bed snuggling into the covers for her last night. Ginny blew out the candle. 

“Yeah, I get that. Seeing a different side to someone.” 

“Ginny, we can talk about it. If you say it out loud-“

“Not just yet, Hermione. At least you know.” Even in the dark Hermione could feel Ginny’s blush. 

Just as the girls were drifting off Ginny spoke again. 

“I heard Tonks talking to you the other day after your interview.” 

“Ginny, you’re not suppose to be listening.” Hermione was peeved at the invasion.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s so obvious she has the hots for Lupin. Mum thinks he just needs some encouragement. You think he’ll go for her? Mum said she’s going to try anyway.” With that Ginny rolled over and fell asleep. 

Yes, Hermione thought, I have to get him alone tomorrow. 

Chapter Text

Fourth Year - September

As was customary the journey to platform nine and three-quarters was stressful and overwhelming with the Weasley clan. Mrs. Weasley kept yelling out different instructions to her children while trying to navigate the busy train platform. Hermione and Ginny had stayed off to the side out of the way knowing how the older woman could rope them in with managing the boys if they weren’t careful. 

Hermione must have been out of it more than usual from lack of sleep the night before as she didn’t even see the group approach Professor Lupin. He was smiling warmly at them as he handed off his trunk to one of the train conductors. One of these day, Hermione thought to herself, she would find out what the train did when not being used the few times a year for the students. 

“Hello, all. Unfortunate weather for the train ride back. Was always partial to the countryside views myself.” Lupin furrowed his brows up at the glass ceiling that was being pelted with heavy rain. 

“Not that you haven’t seen it a thousand times.” Tonks came up beside him and looped her arm around his. He smiled at her while peering into the train. A move designed to disengage from her. 

“It would be mathematically impossible for most to see the views from this train a thousand times given how many years we attend school and the train rides we take. I would wager most of Wizard Britain wouldn’t see it even 50 times.” Hermione stared directly at Tonks. 

The reaction was instant. Mrs. Weasley tutted at her for putting down the woman in front of Lupin. Ron rolled his eyes. Harry coughed to hide his laughter. Ginny nodded her head, fully knowing she didn’t understand the math, but backing up her friend regardless. George wasn’t paying attention and Fred smiled kindly at her. That admiration thing and all. 

Tonks tried to hide it, but the fraction her eyes did narrow at Hermione was missed by many as Lupin’s good nature chuckle distracted them. 

“Hermione, only you could quickly do that math. Impressive as ever. Shall we board? Tonks.” Lupin gave the pink hair witch a single head nod and herded the boys on to the train. Hermione bent down to rearrange her bag one last time as Ginny spoke with her mum and Tonks. 

“Don’t worry so much. He’s coming around.” Mrs. Weasley put her hand on Tonk’s arm rubbing it in a caring way. 

“Is he? He keeps me at a distance. I know we’ve had our moments over the summer, but when I asked him about going back to school and what that means he gave me some run around about how he enjoyed working with me and maybe next summer we could partner again.” Tonks kept shooting looks at the train. 

Hermione attempted to remain uninterested in the conversation on the outside, but her heart felt like it might explode. What could Tonks possibly mean when she says ‘moments?’ 

“Well, did anything happen?” Oh sweet Ginny. 

“Ginny! This is an adult conversation.” Mrs. Weasley scolded her for her boldness. 

“Sorry, Mum. Tonks. I just mean… look boys are stupid. All boys. They might get older in age, but the conversation you’re having sounds exactly like the ones we have in the common room.” Ginny rolled her eyes and looked at Tonks as if she knew exactly what she meant.

“She has a point, Molly.” Tonks laughed. “Well, Ginny, I don’t know. We spent a lot of time together. He’s not exactly an open book, but I thought we were making progress. When we first got to the world cup… the first couple of nights we were partnered so I would hang out in his tent with him. The night before everyone got there I could have sworn he was going to kiss me, but then everyone arrived and we got busy and our attentions were demanded elsewhere,” Hermione didn’t miss the extremely poignant look that was shot at her, “and then you know with what happened. His mind was preoccupied. With everything going on… maybe Hogwarts isn’t where his skills will best be used.” 

“All of our minds were preoccupied, I think. Come on, Ginny, we should get going.” Hermione grabbed her friend’s hand as the whistle blew. She kissed Mrs. Weasley’s cheek and said bye to Tonks who gave her a friendly smile. 

Hermione didn’t look behind her to see if the smile stayed on her face she just wanted to get to the compartment and wait for Lupin. Turning left she found the boys easily. Ginny went off to be with her friends leaving the trio alone for the first time in days. None of them spoke as the words didn’t seem to come. Finally after they were out of the city and Hermione was a chapter into her book Harry cleared his throat. She set the book back in her bag and looked at him. 

“We need to talk.” Harry stated matter of factly. 

“Yes.” Hermione agreed easily and looked to Ron who was nodding his head and looking out the window. 

“I haven’t told you guys something… the night before we left for the Cup. I had a dream that Voldemort was back-“

“Harry!” Hermione tried her best not to shout, but the shock of this secret got the better of her. 

“Please, ‘Mione. I know, I know. It was so weird though. He was talking. I couldn’t see him. It was like he was there, but wasn’t there. Peter was there. And another man I didn’t recognize.” Harry’s face was set in a murderous rage. Hermione know that even Harry wouldn’t admit to it there was a part of him that regretted not letting Sirius and Remus take care of Peter when they had the chance three months ago. 

“You think you saw into the future, mate?” Ron was looking between the two friends. “If you had this dream and then the Cup happened. I mean, maybe not the future, if he was back the Cup would have been worse, but something similar.” 

“Worse, how, Ron?” Hermione snapped her eyes to him. 

“No, no that’s not what I meant. It was bad.” Ron held up his hands and looked to Harry to defend him. Harry stared at Ron like he had lost his mind. 

“Well at least you consider what happened ‘bad.’” Hermione’s voice dripped in sarcasm. She wanted Lupin. “Harry, you need to write Sirius. Tell him what you saw and about the Cup. Professor Lupin probably already has, but you should tell him.” 

“Maybe you should write him too? I mean, Hermione, fuck… what you saw.” Harry was rubbing his hands up and down his jeans. 

Hermione waved her hand at him dismissing him outright. She curled her hands making fist in order to calm herself. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t think… I don’t think I saw anything that Sirius and Professor Lupin wouldn’t expect. Telling Sirius would just tell him that it was starting again and you know he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t step in and protect us.” Hermione gave Harry a lopsided smile which the boy returned. 

“I’ll write to him now. Let him know. I still think you should talk to someone. Maybe Professor Lupin?” 

“I will. If he has time. I got the impression that the Aurors might try to recall him from Hogwarts. They’re worried. I know he is too.” Hermione stared out into the train corridor willing him to walk by. 

Harry wrote out his letter to Sirius and even though the rain was coming down in a full out thunderstorm Hedwig was still happy to go to the man. She knew where he was staying and would take her time before coming back. Hermione thought Sirius was probably indulging her which only made her like him more. With the letter off, an awkward silence had come over the room. Hermione told the boys she was going to find an empty compartment to read and disappear for a little awhile. She was just closing the door when she heard what sounded like Ron snapping at Harry. 

“You could have told her to calm down. The Cup was bad.” Ron never spoke to Harry this way. 

“Yeah, but mate, saying that it was ‘bad’ makes it sound like what she watched wasn’t fucking horrific. That boy-“ Hermione stopped listening after that. She passed Ginny in the hall and told her she was going to read. 

When she got to her own compartment she sat next to the window staring out at the rain hitting a loch they happen to be passing. For a second she thought the window was open until she realized she was crying. Hermione couldn’t tell if she was crying because of Ron’s downplay of what she had born witness too, Tonks saying Lupin almost kissed her, for the little boy whom’s name she still didn’t know, or for the fact that Harry had without hesitancy taken her side and stuck up for her against Ron. She wanted Lupin again. She wanted to talk to him. To be held by him. She pulled out his letters and picked three at random. 

June 25th 

Hermione, 

You’ve only been gone a week. Or longer if you consider that I’m writing this in the middle of the night. I’ve been having a harder time sleeping knowing you’re not in the castle. Or having just paid a visit to my quarters. Not knowing what you’re doing or if you’re safe is not an easy emotion for someone like me to live with. 

This past week I’ve been considering the whole year. From meeting you on the train to having to watch you board it to leave. You were so sure of yourself from the moment we met. The way you blushed the first time we touched. Do you remember on your birthday how you pressed your body to mine? I think of that sometimes. How sweet you were. How bold, but unsure at the same time. 

I think about how I let you down so many times when it came to the boys. The dueling club. I should have done more to prevent the boys from taking their anger out on you the way they did. That was unfair of me. It just seemed that for a second there I had a piece of the Marauders back. Harry is so much like James. I’m sorry for my part in that. 

Thinking about it now if I would have gotten out of my own way then we would have had so much more time together. You never would have lost trust in me.

I don’t know what made you keep coming back to me. Maybe it was the arguments. You live for those I know. I can hear you now calling them disagreements. Whatever it is I cannot believe how lucky I am. 

I’m leaving in a few hours to go meet the Aurors. It’s going to be tough, but it will be fun.

Please write as often as you like. If I miss you this much now I cannot imagine one week or one month from now.

All my love, 

R.J. Lupin 

Being alone gave Hermione the space she needed to continue to cry. Hearing him once again take accountability for how things got so out of control. Or how he wished he could go back in time. It was almost like a promise that it wouldn’t happen again. She tore into another one. 

July 10th 

Pet, 

I’ve received your second letter just last night. I hope to get this one out to you. I’ve only just woken up and you were the first thing I thought of. Truthfully, you are the first thing I think of every morning and every night. Most afternoons when I’m meant to be concentrating on my tasks…

I can’t disclose where I am, but it’s terribly hot here. The heat mixed with my increasingly un-gentleman like thoughts of you have been leading me to think of you in less than proper ways with increasing urgency. 

Pet, my mind races when I think of you. It’s like my whole body comes alive and my blood boils with how hot I become thinking of your touches. Being near you. To feel your hair around me as you straddle my lap. The way you whine when you grind against me and you think I don’t notice. You thought you were so sneaky with those little hip rolls of yours. Watching your head tip back as you cum on me. I thought that was one of the best nights of my life. 

And yet, you gave me more of you. The image of you taking your knickers off before sliding into my bed. Or how you would get instantly wet when I would just whisper swear words around you. Fuck. Now I’m thinking of you on my office sofa. 

Will you ever believe me when I say I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman? You laying on my sofa with your hand down your pants touching yourself and your nipples between your fingers. Now that I know how it feels to have those perfect tits in my mouth there’s only one thing I can imagine taste better. 

I still can’t believe you let me touch you. How you accept me and still let me put my finger into your perfect little hot cunt. Your smell intoxicates me. I want to drink from you, my love. 

Do you remember when you asked me to touch myself for you? Your sweet voice asking me to go faster. That’s what I’m thinking of now. My hand on my cock doesn’t feel nearly as good as yours. And I miss the little pants you make and how dark your eyes get. I didn’t think anything could feel as good as you do. 

I miss you. If it’s not cruel to say I hope you miss me too. 

All my love, 

Remus 

Hermione gently folded up the letter. She sat as still as possible thinking that if she didn’t move she wouldn’t have to acknowledge the incredible wetness in her panties. Is it possible to create an actual flood? Sure, in the romance novels she read this summer the author always talked about how the women were dripping or had puddles formed in their knickers. It always seemed like hyperbole to the young girl. Now, not so much. Hermione cursed herself for not bringing an extra set with her and tried to make peace with having to sit in her soiled knickers for the next 6 hours. Maybe if she closed the blinds and locked the door she could take them off and clean them up to some extent. If I’m going to do all that I could take care of this myself, Hermione thought to herself. Shaking her head she almost laughed at how deranged her lust was making her. She needed to find her professor. 

Opening another random letter from the back she worried that if it was another sex filled sonnet she would surely lose her mind. Instead she found what looked to be a poem. 

August 21st 

My love, 

I’ve just left you at the Burrow. I know you are still livid with me and I don’t blame you. I’m sorry if you felt I was pressuring you into sex. That was not my intention. I’m proud of you for saying no. You are becoming so confident. Hermione, I wish I could explain my feelings better to you. I’m sorry I just wanted you to validate my own shortcomings this summer through physical affection. You are so much more to me than that. You once told me you knew a phrase that didn’t make sense until it did. An unfortunate incident that, but I know what you mean now. Since I can’t seem to find the words please accept that this poem has never made sense until this year - until you. 

Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—

Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night

And watching, with eternal lids apart,

Like nature’s patient, sleepless Eremite,

The moving waters at their priestlike task

Of pure ablution round earth’s human shores ,

Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask

Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—

No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,

Pillow’d upon my fair love’s ripening breast,

To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,

Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,

Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,

And so live ever—or else swoon to death.

I can’t wait to have you in my arms again, my love.

Yours, 

Remus

Hermione thought that she would be feeling emotional after having her Professor write out such a sweet poem, but if it was possible she was even more aroused at his declaration of his feelings for her. It was vague, but it was something. Hermione really needed relief. She was just about to close the blinds determined to, under the guise of changing into her school robes, take care of herself and clean up her under garments when Professor Lupin walked in. He turned quickly and waved to Ginny. Before closing the door he turned back to Hermione and smiled softly.

“Ginny and the boys said you might need a friendly ear.” Lupin took off his robes as he sat down. Hermione loved that he wore wizard robes over muggle clothes. 

“Please, Professor, you really don’t need to spend your time playing mind healer with me.” Hermione tried to laugh him off. She assumed they both knew her laugh was fake. She was looking at him without blinking, and her breaths were short and heavy. 

With a wave of his wrist the door slammed shut. 

“Close the blinds.” Hermione breathed out. 

“Hermione, we have a lot to talk about. We’re also on the train. For propriety sake we should leave them up.” Lupin kept his smile. 

“Of course, Professor. The door is closed anyway. No one can hear us right? Tell me, do you feel tortured by this compartment?” Hermione continued to stare at him.

“I don’t know if that’s the word I would use.” Lupin leaned back and crossed one leg over letting his ankle rest on the knee. 

“Oh?” Hermione in her corduroy skirt spread her legs just enough that he would be able to see up them if he looked, but only enough that passerby’s would assume she had no manners, “and now, Professor?” 

“That is not a kind thing to do, Miss Granger.” Lupin narrowed his eyes at her, but began taking taking deep breaths through his nose just the same. 

“Neither is allowing me to read these and then not closing the blinds.” Hermione snapped her legs closed and pouted at him. She moved to put the letters back and securely closed her bag. She turned her head to watch the thunderstorm over the countryside. The view was still obscured. 

“I do apologize. Hermione?” Lupin’s calm tone called to her through her drifting mind. “We should talk about the Cup.”

“I don’t want to. I can’t.” Hermione’s voice was small as her fingers began tangling in her lap. 

“I know you don’t want to, but you need to say it out loud. And not in a clinical way to the Aurors.” Lupin put his foot down to lean forward. 

“Where should I start?” 

“Tell me how you got to the woods.” He leaned back and tried to smile at her, but Hermione could tell he was just as nervous to hear this. 

“We were running. Ron, no Fred, was holding my hand and he was dragging me behind him. I was holding on to Harry.” Hermione held her breath worried Lupin would be annoyed at Fred holding on to her, but of course he wasn’t. “I saw you fighting. With the others. I saw the back of you and I started running towards you.”

At that Lupin looked like he wanted to jump in and chastise her. She held up her hands.

“I didn’t. Honestly, I think I took a few steps and stopped. I knew if I ran up to you it would probably only get you killed. Ron tried to grab me again and run, but by that point we had lost Harry and I couldn’t keep up with the boys. So I was just running blind. I thought we would meet somewhere by the woods so I headed there. By the time I realized I wasn’t running with anyone else, I mean no other people, I was in the woods where you found me.” 

They just looked at each other. Hermione rolled her lips liked she wanted to keep talking, but she wasn’t sure if she should tell the whole story. 

“Keep going, love.”

“I want to tell you the whole story. What I didn’t tell the Aurors. Tonks. But, I’m scared for you to know it.” Hermione was searching his eyes for any hint that he couldn’t keep her secret. 

“You can tell me anything. Hermione, what didn’t you tell the Aurors? That’s not great.” Lupin leaned forward again. 

“I want to tell you because I don’t want a repeat of last year.” Hermione also leaned forward so they could be closer. “I don’t want us to operate on half-truths and intentional deception again. Does that make sense?” 

“Yes. Okay, tell me.” 

“When I got to the woods I was alone. Except, I wasn’t actually.” Hermione looked out the windows of the room and seeing no one lifted her shirt. There lied a long bruise and three small round bruises. As if someone had dug their finger tips into her side. 

“What the fuck?” Lupin went to touch her, but she dropped her shirt and returned to her seat. 

“Draco Malfoy was there. Alone. I don’t know what he was doing or how long he had been there. All I know is he told me to leave and to be quiet about it-“

“He fucking did this to you!” Lupin sprang from his seat fury taking over his features. 

“Yes, but no. Please sit down, Professor.” Hermione looked up at him. 

“I’ll fucking kill him. His dad-“

“Remus.” That got his attention. There was no way Hermione would call him anything but Professor or Sir now that they were back at Hogwarts. So he sat. 

“Sorry. I’ll control myself.” 

“Yes, Malfoy did this to me. Not in the way you think. He was holding me. The Death Eaters came with the group of women and children. We watched them torture them. Kill those two women. He had his hand over my mouth, but when that man took the little boy I tried to fight him off. Again, stupid I know, but he was just a baby.” 

Hermione let the pause hang in the air for a second. Both needed a second to compose themselves thinking of the boy.

“Malfoy forced me to stay hidden. I watched as that person, as he did what he did to that little boy. After they left, he left. I haven’t seen him. Or talked to him. You pretty much saw everything I did after that.” 

“Did you see the man who bit the boy? What he looked like? It’s okay if you can’t remember. You were in shock.” Lupin was rubbing his face. Hermione suspected he was feeling the effects of the boys death, but didn’t want to get emotional with her. 

“Yes, I do.” Lupin stopped rubbing his face and put his hands on his knees. “He was like half man, half wolf. I remember thinking wolves can only turn those when they’re transformed, but I knew there was info on those humans who choose to live as wolves. I couldn’t remember and I can’t bring myself to look it up.” 

“Do you remember any other descriptions of him?” 

Just then a body slammed against the doors of their compartment and a mess of red hair took up a majority of the window. Ron was trying to bust his way in. Lupin opened the door. 

“Sorry, sorry. I just thought I should be here.” Ron moved to sit down next Hermione. Lupin held his hand up to stop him. 

“Actually, Ron, if it’s all the same I think Hermione might need to do this on her own. Completely up to you of course, Miss Granger.” Lupin faced her. He really was giving her the option. 

“Ron, how about Professor Lupin and I come find you after we’re done here.” She tried to smile at him, but she was annoyed at his blatant lack of respect. He didn’t ask if she wanted him there he just assumed he would be allowed to be. 

“‘Mione, you need a friend if you’re going to talk about stuff like this.” Ron’s face was pink. Hermione didn’t know if he was embarrassed at being turned out or upset by it. 

“I have one, Ron.” Hermione jerked her head at Lupin and turned to smile at him. Lupin turned his back on Ron and looked out the window. Even only looking at the side of his face Hermione could see the smile. 

Ron scoffed loudly and left; slamming the door behind him. Before it closed Hermione loudly asked for the door to be locked and curtains drawn. Lupin sat back down and followed her request the smile only getting wider. 

“What did he look like?” Lupin’s face grew serious again. Hermione steadied herself with a breath, closed her eyes and described him. 

“Tall. Taller than you, maybe? But if so, not by much. And longer hair, but it was thin up top. Like he was going bald. Except it ran down the sides of his face. Like it wanted to take over, but it was still where facial hair should go. His body was strange. Like he looked stocky almost. His muscles looked big, but like if he were to jump he would elongate and be skinny like you.” 

Hermione opened her eyes to see her Professor smiling at her. 

“That’s good Hermione. Really good. Did you get a name?” 

“No.” She cast her gaze down to her lap. Of course the one thing that would help. “Wait, yes. They called him Greg.”

“Greg?” Lupin’s eyes were moving back and forth clearly a werewolf named Greg didn’t come to mind. 

“Hm, Greg. No, Grey. That’s a silly name for murderer.” Hermione tried to lighten the mood, but Lupin’s ashen face told her that wouldn’t be happening now. 

“Grey? You’re sure?” 

“Yes? No, I don’t know. Professor-“ Hermione started to panic. Lupin worried wasn’t something she felt comfortable with. 

“Greyback?” Lupin leaned forward and took her hands from her lap. 

“Yes! Yes, I think so. They really didn’t use names, but yes I think so.” Hermione nodded her head. She wasn’t sure, but when the men were arguing about which child he got she thought one of the robed men said that. 

Lupin dropped her hands and sat back against his seat. He seemed to be folding in on himself. His face flashing different emotions. 

“Professor?” 

“Hermione, please. I need… I need a moment.” She had never heard him so small before. So vulnerable. With the blinds closed she slowly got up and went over to him. The way he looked up at her broke her heart. When she moved her hand to him he flinched as if she would hit him. Hermione sat down and took his hands in hers and laid her head on his shoulder. For a time the only noise in the cabin was their breathing. 

“Greyback was the one who bit me. Who turned me.” Lupin whispered. “My father he worked in a field on half human transportation, a rather bizarre field to be honest, but he loved it. He knew Greyback was a werewolf who was out biting and killing. He called for his death. He called for all werewolf deaths. The Wizengamot released him. As payback he broke into our home and bit me.” 

Hermione tried to stop the gasp. She also tried to the stop the tears, but that was a losing battle. She stayed as silent as possible while he spoke. 

“It’s okay, my love. I’ve come to terms with it.” Hermione stared directly into his eyes. “Well, I’m coming to terms with it in my way. One day I know I’ll have the chance… to set things right.” 

Hermione’s silent tears progressed into full on body sobs. Guilt began tearing at her mind for taking Lupin’s sad story and making it about her. She could only apologize manically as she tried to get it together. He pulled her into his lap. 

“Sh, Hermione, what is it? Surely you aren’t crying for me? It was thirty years ago, love.” Lupin wiped at her face and rubbed her back. 

“Yes. And no. When I was in the woods…god I’m sorry. You’re telling me this story and I’m making it about me. Please just forget it.” 

“No, this is about you. We’re talking about you. What happen?” Lupin pulled her chin towards him so he could see into her eyes. 

“When I was in the woods and I saw Grayback take the boy…I could see him. Not every detail, but enough. The lights from the spells I guess. He had your color hair. And he had the same freckles on his face as you.” Hermione ran her fingers across the bridge of her Professor’s nose still unable to control her crying. Lupin didn’t say anything. 

“And when everything was done. I went to get him. I turned him over and his eyes were open. They were blue. And,” Hermione felt sick. She knew she would get a headache from how hard she was crying. Lupin summoned a cup and filled it with water. She cleared her throat, “And I felt relieved. I couldn’t stop thinking of you. As that little boy.” 

“Hermione, it’s okay.” Lupin was murmuring into her hair holding her as close to him as possible. 

“How can you say that to me? He deserved to be mourn for who he was not who I thought he was. I was relieved. That I wouldn’t have to look into this little boys green eyes and see you looking back at me. What kind of sick person feels like that. If this is the start of something, just the beginning? I’m not cut out for this. I’m too weak.” Hermione’s sobs came on again. 

“You’re not weak. Hermione, you are not weak. You care about people. That’s not weakness.” Lupin had taken her shoulders to push her back so they could look into each other’s eyes. 

Hermione’s head collapsed on his chest and he let her cry for all the time she needed. Eventually, she settled herself down and was able to sit there and let him cradle her. Again, Hermione couldn’t help but think how she had never been quite as loved and cared for as this. They sat there for an hour. Lupin whispering things that made her strong off and on. Eventually she was able to pull back and look at him. 

“Thanks. I’m sorry. I probably really overreacted.” Hermione laughed. 

“Not at all. I remember the look on my mum’s face when I got bit. Transformations were hard on her too. She wasn’t a weak woman. Or the first time I saw a kid get murdered during the war. It’s not easy Hermione. And if this is the beginning of something…we’ll get through it. Cope. Stay focused on the fact that you cared enough about that little boy to try and physically fight a werewolf and a group of Death Eaters.”

Hermione swatted at his arm, “When you say it like that I’m the one who sounds insane.” 

They were both able to laugh. Hermione took her hand and ran it through Lupin’s soft hair. Still sandy blonde. His green eyes shining at her. She dipped her head and captured his lips. Their sweet romantic kiss quickly, far too quickly, turned into a heady needy snogging session. Hermione used both hands to push back his shoulders and somehow managed to gracefully straddle his lap. She can feel him coming to life between her legs. She continued kissing him, but lifted herself just slightly enough to avoid touching their centers. 

Neither could be sure how long they allowed themselves to kiss and attempt to grope the other one. Lupin started feeling like a proper teenager when he tried to buck his hips up into the young witch sitting on him. 

“Hermione, really, we must stop. We’re on the Hogwarts Express.” He chuckled trying to regain his breath. Hermione reached her hand down to his zipper. 

“Doesn’t feel like you want to stop, Professor. You’ve never been naughty on the train before?” Hermione’s eyes were dark. Her face was flushed and Lupin knew it would be a hell of a time getting her to relent. 

“Never had a girl I would be willing to run the risk for.” He kissed her neck and lightly sucked her pulse point only just letting his teeth graze over it. 

“Mmm, I have a hard time believing that your story is you didn’t want to run the risk of getting caught doing something wrong, Moony.” Hermione using his nickname from his Marauder’s days turned him on more than he was comfortable admitting and he once again tried to grind up into her hips. 

“Well, what can I say-“ He was silenced by another round of heated kisses. She finally let her center settle on his trousers and gave him one of those covenant hip rolls of hers. 

“Professor?” Hermione was timid. So unlike herself, she managed to gain the courage to continue, “I was wondering if you would do that thing again…unless you don’t want to which you totally don’t have to-“

“What thing, love?” Hermione could see it on his face that he knew what she was asking for, but he was going to make her ask for it anyway. 

“You know, when we were in your tent. You used your mouth on me.” The blush took over her whole face and she could feel her chest heat up. 

“Go sit in your seat, Pet.” The use of the sweet endearment let Hermione know he was about to make her cum. Just like his letter said, he would drink from her. 

She got up slowly and walked the two steps back to her seat. Twirling to sit down and face him. She tried to sit as properly as she could. Just as slowly as she did, Lupin leaned forwarded, off his seat, and sunk to his knees in front of her. His tall body took up the whole floor space between their seats, but he made it work. Hermione didn’t know if she could ever admit how much she liked the way it looked with him on his knees in front of her. 

“You should be in your school robes anyway. You won’t need this.” He pulled her skirt from her body. It slid off easily with a simple lift of her hips. “What are these?” 

Lupin stared down at her core in amazement. Hermione wasn’t wearing her normal thin cotton knickers, but rather a pair of black lace panties. Something that if she were standing would surely show off her backside quite nicely. 

“They’re new. Do you like them? I hope so because they’ve been ruined since your letters.” Hermione blushed down at him wanting his approval. 

“Oh love.” Lupin began his slow kiss up from her knee. She allowed the other thigh to be incased by his large hand. The mix of his lips and soft tongue on one thigh and his rough worked hands on the other was making Hermione go dizzy from need. He reached his hand up and under her shirt to free a breast from the bra she was wearing. Normally, she only wore white, but she opted for a matching black one. He might not see it at this pace. She threw her head back with a moan at the pinch on her nipple. 

“Please, please, Professor. I need you.” Hermione was getting too hot. The fire from his letters having never truly went out. Too turned on. Too achy. She needed the release. 

Lupin finally let his mouth travel to her core and spread her legs far apart. He took a moment to stare at the black lace covering her warm cunt. He could feel the heat coming off and the smell was just as strong as when he entered the compartment the first time. He licked her whole slit over the lace. Hermione gasped above him and threw a hand into his hair slightly pushing his head back down before taking it out again and looking sheepish. 

“You can ask for what you want, love.” Lupin smiled at her. She shook her head. 

“I like when you do what you want.” Hermione saw him just lift his eyebrow and smirk at her. 

He hooked his thumbs in the seams of her panties and quickly dragged them down. Putting his hands on her knees again he pushed them as far as they would go. He was staring into her sex in the train light. Beautiful. 

“Oh, my love, you’re so wet. So wet for me. Look how beautiful this little cunt is.” Hermione was shamelessly whimpering above him. 

With that he licked her slit again this time without the barrier. Hermione allowed herself to moan loudly. She saw Lupin move his wrist and knew he cast a silencing spell. She could feel his tongue flat against her core moving up and down. It would hit her clit and just as quickly move back down to swirl around entrance. 

Hermione felt Lupin’s tongue enter her. She had never felt anything like it. The feeling not quite like his fingers, but a soft pleasure moving in and out of her at his own pace. She could feel as he moved the tip of his tongue around her touching all sides of her virginal hole. All too soon he removed his tongue again licked her slit up and down. This time when he reached the top he would spend a bit more time swirling around her clit or switching between the flat and tip driving her wild. 

“Professor, professor. God. I, yes…oh fuck, please, I need you,” Hermione was wantonly moaning while holding his hand over her breast. The other buried in his hair giving those little tugs she knew he liked. Lupin looked up at her to be met with blown pupils and a heaving chest. Hermione had completely given over to her sexual need. 

“Please, Professor. I want you.” Hermione mumbled down at him looking into this eyes. That sparked something in the werewolf as he allowed his possessiveness to take over and he worked his tongue over the bundle of aching nerves. He slowly inserted a finger into her and worked it in a corkscrew motion. Eventually finding the little spot inside her and pressing on it every time his finger went in. He could feel Hermione’s thighs shaking around his head. She was talking, but making no sense. 

“That…that’s…oh god, I’m going to,” with a loud moan that sounded like a classic song Lupin felt Hermione clamp down on his finger. He would never get over how tight she was. If she was that tight on his finger…he tried to not let his mind wander there.

Hermione felt her whole body tighten as her mind went blank. She was aware Lupin’s tongue was still on her pushing her through her orgasm as she fell over every peak. Just when she thought she was done her body would spasm through another one. Her hips moved in jerky movements chasing his forceful tongue as it lapped up every bit of her. If the lights were still on in the train she wouldn’t have known with how hard she slammed her eyes closed. 

What seemed like forever and yet no time at all Hermione could feel her muscles begin to relax. As her stomach muscles released and she was able to lie back against the seat she unclenched her thigh muscles. This time, knowing what to expect, she allowed her legs to shake on Lupin’s shoulders as she came back down completely. She felt her nipples as they were impossibly hard and she allowed the smallest of moans when she ran her palm on them. Looking down Lupin was still on his knees kissing the inside of her thighs and caressing her hips. She leaned forward and bent down to take his lips with hers. 

Post orgasmic bliss had set in as their kiss was slow and sweet. She let him move her however he wanted. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to press her body as close to his as possible while remaining seated. 

“Professor?” Hermione peppered his mouth with open kisses, “can you go sit-down please?” 

“Sure, Pet. Are you okay?” Lupin pulled back and looked her over to make sure she was feeling alright. The only thing he saw was a look of deep want on her face. Her eyes were half closed and her mouth was still letting in pants of air. Lupin disentangled himself from her and made his way back to his seat. Leaning back against the backrest he crossed his legs. Hermione appreciated that if he thought there was a problem he wasn’t going to show off his hard prick. 

Hermione made her way down to the floor and crawled the few paces over to his legs and used her small hands to uncross them and place his feet outside her body so she could nestle between them. Lupin’s hands remained on his belt as if to guard himself, but his eyes were just as hooded as hers and his breathing just as laboured. 

“Don’t fight me on this, Professor.” Hermione reached up under his hands and undid his buckle. She couldn’t help but smile at the idea that he only wore them now because the first time she felt his hard cock through his trousers she thought it was a buckle. 

“Hermione, you really don’t have to, Pet. This is… this is something intimate.” Lupin reached one hand forward to stroke her cheek. Hermione didn’t slow her hands from undoing his zipper or opening his trousers as far as they would go.

“And you putting your tongue in my cunt is what?” Hermione looked up at him as she palmed his large member through his boxers. Again, smiling at the muggle clothes he wore under his robes. Lupin made a type of strangling noise that made Hermione bite her lip to stop the laughter. He never really heard her talk like that. She knew it worked on him, but most of the time she just didn’t have it in her to say those things. 

With him dazed by her dirty talk she began trying to shimmy his pants down his narrow hips. His fingers danced across her arms sending tingles straight down her spine. Getting his pants down below his knees she drank in the sight of his slim, but muscular legs. His sandy blonde hair continued down his thighs. Of course she had seen him naked before, but he had never let her get this close. 

Hermione watched as his impressive member sprang free from his boxer and bounced toward his flat stomach. She wanted to undo the buttons there, but knew that would push him too far. She grabbed the base and gave it the rough tugs she knew he liked. 

“Professor? You’ll have to tell me how you like it done.” She whispered up at him. She continued the wank like motion up and down. She saw him nod his head in the smallest way. His lip between his teeth for the first time. 

Hermione lifted up on her knees and leaned forward to lick the head. Lupin hissed above her and hunched his shoulders forward. She could see his hands move towards her head as if he was going to grab her hair, but he dropped them back down to her arms. Hermione licked the head again before swiping her tongue around. She could hear him growling above her. Keeping an eye on him she took the head into her mouth for the first time. 

She sucked lightly keeping her tongue moving around. She inched her way down taking in more into her mouth. Trying to copy what she read in her books over the summer Hermione bobbed her head up and down allowing her spit to gather as much as possible. She could feel it dripping down to her hand which prompted her to move it along with her mouth. Lupin’s moans spurring her on. She could still see his hands making moves toward her hair. She lifted the one hand off of his thigh and grabbed one of his hands to put in her hair. 

“Oh fuck, Pet. So good… too good to me.” He was mumbling above her. When she made an accidental slurping sound he groaned and jerked his hips up into her mouth. Hermione eagerly accept his cock further in her mouth until she could feel it hitting the back of her throat. It was a new feeling. Not exactly painful, but she had to be mindful to not gag too badly. When tiny gags would happen Lupin would grab her hair harder. She knew now why he liked it when she did it to him.

Hermione took him as far as she could. Her whole hand wrapped around the part she couldn’t take. She wouldn’t tell him that his size scared her just a bit while also exciting her. Remembering the novels she read she released her mouth to be met with a humfp from her teacher. She moved her hand rapidly and tightly to replace her heated mouth. 

“Doing this is making me so wet, Professor. I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” Hermione couldn’t believe she said that so she quickly put her mouth back around his delicious cock. She could hear him let out a slew of curses and what sounded like something close to her name drop from his soft lips. She savored the earthy taste that reminded her of his smell. He tasted clean and like fresh laundry, but manly and salty-sweet from his pre-cum that was dripping down Hermione’s throat. 

Her words and the way that she pressed the flat of her tongue against him had him stuttering and gripping her hair with both hands. She could feel him trying to remove her mouth from his hot wet cock, but she doubled down on her efforts. Allowing her hand to grip him tighter while it worked faster with her mouth and she hallowed out her cheeks to give him as much suction as possible. 

“Fuck, Hermione. You’re going to make me cum, love. Please, you don’t have to take it.” She hummed around his shaft. That did it. Hermione felt hot spurts of his cum shoot towards the back of her throat. She was pretty sure she could hear Lupin cursing loudly above her saying something about her being perfect. It tasted stronger than his pre-cum and it made her head dizzy at how much she wanted to drink it down. She swallowed three times trying to get as much down as possible. When it seemed he was spent and collapsed against the seat once again she gently licked his softening member cleaning what was missed. She lovingly set him down and ran her hands up and down his thighs looking up at him. 

She could feel a bit of his cum dripping down from the corner of her mouth. He took his thumb and wiped at it. Before he could clean it off she grabbed his wrist and sucked his thumb into her mouth. She couldn’t help the way her eyes fluttered and the tiny moan of appreciation that the taste of his cum and digit caused her. 

“Was that okay?” Hermione internally cursed herself for always blushing about sex. She still felt like the main aggressor in their relationship and yet she was still unsure of herself. 

“Fucking hell, Pet. I think at one point I was outside my body.” Lupin lifted his hips to pull his trousers up. He pulled her up and into his lap. He kissed her neck first and then moved up to her ear lobe and down her jaw before reaching her lips. Hermione knew no one would be able to give her such innocent kisses that could make her body react in such a way. 

“So it was good then?” Hermione chuckled. She looked down at her body. She was still sitting in her t-shirt with one breast out of the bra cup and her bottom half was bare. She had socks on, but had lost her shoes at some point. She laughed at the state of herself. 

“Hermione,” Lupin moved to look into her eyes, “you are perfect. That was more than I deserved. You are more than I deserve.” 

He looked at her like she was a gift he always wanted, but didn’t know how to ask for. In moments like this no matter how badly either of them wanted to watch the other fall apart again they stayed still and held the moment of feelings they knew the other had. Hermione’s mind flashed back to Lupin clinging to her body on his sofa as tears streamed down his face. She lightly kissed him. 

“I’m just sorry is all.” Hermione murmured against his lips. 

“Sorry, for what, love?” Lupin’s hand was drifting up and down her spine as the other one held her hip. 

“That you had to go thirty-four years without me. I mean, it’s just awful. Thank god it wasn’t me though, right?” Hermione widen her eyes at him as laughter danced on her mouth. 

Lupin let out a real belly laugh. Every couple minutes he would chortle again. Yes, Hermione thought, these are the moments that she knew it wasn’t just the physical. 

Lupin had transfigured his cloak into a blanket so they could cuddle together until absolutely necessary that they get ready for their arrival at Hogsmeade. Eventually, Hermione put her skirt back on and left to change into her robes in the bathroom batting his hands away the whole time as he begged her to let him watch. When she got back they decided to spend the last thirty minutes with the rest of the group.

The trio made their way to the table chatting about the sorting ceremony and talking adamantly about what sort of seemingly erroneous yet frightening message Dumbledore would deliver this year. 

“Hermione! Hi boys. Where were you on the train?” Parvati leaned down from behind her and squeezed her shoulders in her hands. 

“Oh. I was talking to Professor Lupin for most of it. About the Cup…” Hermione trailed off. No one knew what she had seen as The Prophet hadn’t reported on the deaths, but they knew she was there. 

“Of course, darling. How awful!” Parvati hugged her from behind. “Listen-“

“Come right up to the dorm room after dinner?” Lavender cut off her friend. “You never answered our last message.” 

The girls sat down on the other side of Dean and Seamus with Parvati winking conspicuously at George. George, for his part, looked more than a little taken aback. The speeches and the feast began. 

“The Triwizard Tournament?” Ron looked at his brothers in disbelief. 

“What’s the big deal? I mean it sounds like an international school thing.” Harry dismissed while eating pudding. 

“It hasn’t been played since 1792.” Ron looked scandalized that someone wouldn’t know. 

“That’s right. It injured and killed a bunch of people including the heads of all three schools.” Hermione primly ate her own pudding not bothering to look at the red heads staring at her. 

“You really do know everything, woman.” Fred gaped at her. 

“It’s in Hogwarts, A History.” Hermione smiled at him. 

“Less sexy somehow.” Lee Jordan piped up next to Fred who frowned at him. 

The Hall was absolutely buzzing with what hosting the Tournament would mean for Hogwarts. The boys were already talking about the beautiful French women from Beauxbatons and Padma had turned around to gossip with Parvati and Lavender about the boys of Durmstrang. The chatter was building as it seemed to fight with the growing thunderstorm coming in from the ceiling reflecting the weather outside. A particularly loud crack caused several of the new first years to cry out and several staff jumped from their seat as a curse hit the ceiling calming it down. Dumbledore walked over to the looming heavily coated figure standing off in the corner by the staff door. 

Hermione watched as they greeted each other as old friends shaking hands and Dumbledore nodding along as the man pointed at the sky. 

“Mad-Eye Moody?” Fred looked over at the Headmaster. 

“Who’s he?” Hermione noted the sound of concern that had entered his voice. Looking around Hermione noticed that some of the other students whose parents worked at the Ministry were also looking on in deep worry. 

“Ex-Auror. Worked with Dad. Fought in the war.” George answered for Fred. “He’s completely mental.”

“George.” Hermione chided him.

“No, Hermione really. Apparently after the war and chasing down all the dark wizards who got away he completely lost his mind. Got sacked. Occasionally blows things up.” Ron tried to look at her while talking, but couldn’t tear his eyes off the man. 

As Moody went up to the staff table he shook some hands. Some of the professors looked too scare to actually move. Hermione carefully watched Lupin. Under cover of having all of the other students watching the interaction she saw how he stood to his full height. The two seemed to be sizing the other up. 

“Can’t imagine that will go over well.” Ron continued digging into his crumble as he watched the scene unfold. 

“What? Why?” Hermione began to panic. If Moody was this unpredictable and Lupin was in his path…

“The Aurors notoriously hunted Werewolves. Moody hasn’t been with the department in years. Who knows how he would feel about Lupin being here.” Ron said it so casually. Hermione couldn’t help, but stare at him. 

“Relax ‘Mione. Dumbledore wouldn’t bring him here if he was going to throw Lupin kibble and bits and neuter him.” Ron looked to Harry to join in his laughter, but even Harry shook his head and made a face of disgust. Ron’s scream of pain from the swift kick Hermione delivered under the table was enough to satisfy her for a few moments. 

She didn’t miss the pointed look Lupin threw her way. Damn him and his wolf hearing.

That night Hermione said goodbye to all the Weasley’s and Harry right away and moved to the dorm room. Lavender and Parvati were already waiting for her. As soon as she saw them she held up her hands and went to her bag to get her journal. She read the last passage. 

Oh my god! Guys! Ernie and I just hooked up in my garden!! - Lav 

What do you mean hooked up? - Pav 

Wellll like he let me suck his thing you know. His penis. - L 

Wow, sounds sexy. - P 

Where’s Hermione? It was! Okay, fine his dick. - L

Did he return the favor? Or did he just squeeze your boobs again like they were snitches trying to escape? - P

You’re a bitch. And no! I let him put his fingers in my knickers. - L

Oh! Did you finish? - P

Well, no. But he’s trying - L 

Hermione, come on, agree with me that Lav is insane! - P

Hermione quietly closed the journal and looked up at them. She nodded her head at Lavender before looking at Pavarti and cracking up in laughter. 

Under no circumstances would Hermione be disclosing that she knew more about this topic than the girls thought she did, but it didn’t stop her from poking at Lavender in good fun anyway. 

“Lavender, are you sure you should be doing something you can’t name?” Hermione asked between giggles. 

“I can totally say it. Blow jobs!” Lavender screamed. Katie Bell stuck her head in the very opened door, shook it, laughed and closed the door on her exit. 

The girls laughed harder at the slight judgement from the fifth year. After calming down they talked about their summer. 

“Did Ernie say if he considered you guys boyfriend-girlfriend?” Parvati asked ignoring Lavender’s glare. Hermione tried to not to look taken aback at the question. Boyfriend-girlfriend? She had never thought about it before. 

“Please. No. Eventually, maybe. Right now we’re still getting to know each other.” Lavender scoffed and waved off the question. 

That night Hermione turned over the conversation in her head. Both girls had a point. Lavender and Ernie had been seeing each other about as long as she and Lupin had been seeing each other. Except Lavender and Ernie were much more public. They didn’t have the same barriers. Except it wasn’t the same for other reasons. There was no way they had a connection as deep as what she and Lupin had, Hermione reasoned. Of course they needed a label. They didn’t have the deeper level of understanding. With that rationale Hermione was able to drift off to sleep looking forward to the first day of classes the next day and the only thing to disappoint her being that it fell on a Friday.

The next day found Hermione is a tizzy. Her day was already jam packed with classes and trying to get as many future assignments from her teachers as possible. Many of them unwilling to do her the kindness. She was just sitting down in the courtyard joining her boys when a not so hushed argument came from the corridor into the courtyard. 

“You can’t control yourself! Say you can makes you sound insane.” Moody’s gargled voice was aimed at Lupin who looked enraged and yet embarrassed at the same time. 

“I’m in control. I know you aren’t the one who’s talking about sanity, Alastor.” Lupin fired back just as quickly. 

“A werewolf? Controlling themselves. Don’t make me laugh. You know what your kind are. What you do.” Moody stopped his attempts at whispering. 

Students were gathering and had stopped bothering to pretend to not to listen. It appeared most of the students were from Hermione’s own house and Slytherin. 

“And what about what you do? For Dumbledore to unleash someone who is so careless with safety-“

“And in June? You weren’t running around the forest ready to kill three students?” Moody was about 6 inches shorter than Lupin, but had gotten in his face nonetheless. 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about!” Hermione had jumped up from her bench to yell at the stranger. 

“Hermione, it’s okay. We’re just having a disagreement.” Lupin began looking around as if he forgot he was at school and students were around him. 

“No! He wasn’t even here, Professor. He doesn’t understand-“ Hermione tried to defend her favorite teacher. 

“I said it’s fine, Hermione.” Lupin’s voice was the same calm it always was, but there held a slight edge to it that told her to back off. 

“Hermione, come on. Let’s sit down and wait for class to start. You love class. You can’t fake real knowledge, right?” Harry tossed a glare over his shoulder as he led the witch back to the stone bench. Unfortunately, Malfoy was right there in their path. 

“Come on, Potter. We all know dogs just need a bit of house training.” Malfoy laughed and looked at his lackeys to make sure they were laughing with him. Hermione noticed that he wasn’t looking at her. 

“What did you say?” Harry’s voice was impossibly dark. Hermione took a quick glance behind her and the sight broke her heart. Lupin stood there eyes cast down clearly embarrassed by the comment. “Malfoy do you ever give it a rest? Do you honestly believe anyone cares about your vile and cruel comments?” 

Harry continued to lead Hermione back to the bench away from the bickering professors and the immature blonde hair boy. Hermione could hear Malfoy muttering behind them. If there was one thing the boy hated more than being publicly embarrassed it was not getting the last word. 

“I’ll teach you to draw your wand when someone has their back turned!” Moody bellowed out. The pair had just enough time to turn around to see Malfoy get turned into a ferret. A blonde ferret that looked just as scared as Malfoy did when Moody drew his wand on him. The poor creature couldn’t help but start scurrying about looking for safety. Hermione couldn’t help but join in on the chorus of other students who were laughing at his expense. 

Lupin looking less than impressed with Moody’s actions gave a quick swish of his wand and Malfoy was sprawled out on the ground. Hermione felt her heart wrench for the boy when she saw the fear and humiliation written across his face. 

“Surely, Dumbledore told you we don’t use magic on students as punishment?” Lupin glared at the new teacher. 

“Might have mentioned it.” Moody’s haughty response left much to be desired. “Maybe the boy should have protected himself better. Perhaps with better training-“

“Moody, I’ll make you a deal. We teach together the first month and after that we’ll split the kids. Seeing as I’ll take the advanced kids you can see for yourself that Mr. Malfoy and many others are already well equipped.” Lupin put his hands out as offering a gift. 

“Hmph.” Moody didn’t vocalize consent, but nodded his head in approval anyway before stomping off. 

All of the kids returned to their free period. Hermione tried to meet Malfoy’s eye to give him a smile, but he wouldn’t look at her and he quickly disappeared in the halls. Unfortunately, the spat the two DADA teachers got into in the courtyard was nothing compared to what was to come that afternoon in class. The lesson began just as tense as their conversation left off and Hermione noticed that neither looked like they had spent any time actually talking over what they would do with the month they had together. 

The room was cramped with all of the fourth year students from all of the houses in class. All of them were looking at Professor Lupin naturally, but a few were looking at Moody with weariness he already seemed to have earned. Hermione’s eyes shifted between the two waiting for one to speak. 

“Good Afternoon class,” Lupin’s calm voice called out from his desk perch. 

“You need to know what you’re up against!” Moody barked from the side. “The unforgivable curses-“

“Moody, surely the students don’t need-“ Lupin began.

“What? You think if they’re out fighting and they say ‘oh sorry I’m a student’ someone will just stop what they’re doing?” Lupin’s jaw tensed at obviously being cornered. “Who knows how many there are?” 

“Three, Sir.” Hermione hated her know-it-all self in times like these. “Named for being unforgivable to do another person. To torture, take away free will, and to kill.” 

“Right, right, good. Name one. Weasley!” Moody took a spider from a jar and enlarged it so the whole class could watch it. 

The students proceeded to play into Moody’s sick game as Hermione sat in her normal seat clenching the front of the desk. She felt too ill to do much more than to call out for a halt of one curse when Neville looked on the verge of tears. Moody approached her desk and towered over her goading her into naming the third curse. 

“I think you’ve done enough Moody.” Lupin growled out. Moody's closeness to Hermione put him on edge. 

Moody seemed to grin back at Lupin and openly smiled at Hermione as he placed the tortured spider in front of her. The creature was so damaged at this point Hermione couldn’t even bring herself to be afraid. He muttered the curse and the spiders body was spun upside down with eight stiff legs pointed toward the ceiling. 

Without warning Moody threw his wand in the air and aimed a curse right at Professor Lupin. Hermione let out a gasp along with a few other students not expecting their professors to duel. Lupin was able to block the curse, but the look on his face told the class this was not planned. He continued to block Moody’s curses and advances. 

“Come on, Lupin. I heard you were quite the dueler.” Moody was antagonizing him. 

“This is a class, Moody. Are you really this mental?” Lupin continued to block him until finally firing his own non-verbal spell. It must have been a stinging hex as Moody’s hand erupted to a nasty red raised rash. He took a second to react, but instantly was throwing off spells again. Both professors sticking to non-verbal. 

“What in the bloody hell is happening?” Ron muttered behind Hermione. She turned around to shrug her shoulders and convey that she was just as lost as he and Harry. 

“Keep this in mind class - even beings with near human intelligence and enhanced senses can appear as us.” Moody taunted. 

“Didn’t you get fired for basically being a dark wizard, Moody, or for not even having that near human intelligence you seem to be jealous of?” Lupin hit him with a leg lock hex. Hermione was the first to laugh at his comment and it gave permission for others to join as well. This set Moody off. 

“Cruico.” Moody spoke through gritted teeth. Though his voice wasn’t loud it was enough to hit a surprised Lupin, who didn’t believe he would use the spell, and send him reeling over the desk. He didn’t get up. Moody didn’t lift his wand until Hermione jumped from her seat with a scream. 

“What is wrong with you?” She ran to Lupin behind the desk. She knew she was hidden from view from the rest of the class. Running her hands over his face she could feel a cold sweat and hear his pained whimpers. She saw red. She stood up from the floor shaking and glaring at the ex-Auror. “You absolute nut case!”

“Miss Granger, I’m still your Professor just as much as that werewolf-“ Moody ground out. 

“Shut up! Harry, help me. Ron, go get Madam Pomfrey and find Dumbledore.” Hermione started handing out demands trying to regain control. She felt Lupin wrap a hand around her ankle. She dropped down again and grabbed it. “Sh, it’s okay.” 

“Hurts.” Lupin’s green eyes looked so pained and afflicted as he mumbled from his place on the floor. Hermione could hear Moody dismiss the class and leave after them. She rolled her eyes at his inability to even check on Remus. She could feel him trying to squeeze her hand tighter, but the tremors were already setting in. 

“Fuck, he held it for so long.” She was pushing his hair out of his face. Just as she was unbutton his robes Harry had finally come around the desk. 

“Here, I found some pain relief potion.” Harry stuck it out to Hermione’s waiting hand. 

“Okay, okay help me sit him up. No, I’ll sit behind him.” Together Harry and Hermione got Professor Lupin up with Hermione straddled behind him; her leaning against the desk and him leaning his back against her chest. She was able to tip his head back and get him to swallow the potion. 

“What’s going on here?” Madam Pomfrey’s voice came from the classroom where she descended to the stairs to meet Harry. “My god. To duel in a classroom-“

“This wasn’t Professor Lupin’s fault!” Hermione was indignant.

“Mr. Weasley explained everything to me. The mad man. Come Remus, dear, we need to get you to the hospital wing.” Hermione was surprised by the gentle tone the nurse witch used with  Lupin. 

“No, no please, Madam Pomfrey. I think I’ll retire to my chambers.” Lupin was able to stand, shaking, on his own. Hermione scrambled up after him trying to help balance him. 

“I don’t know, Remus… if you’re sure. I’ll tell the elves to send something to you for meals. I expect you to eat.” Madam Pomfrey gave one last evaluating look before tutting and leaving the room. 

“Harry, can you take my bag back to the common room? I’m going to make sure Professor Lupin gets back to his rooms and has all the potions he needs. If not, I can run up to the hospital and get them.” Hermione spoke in her normal check list voice. 

“Sure, no problem. Can I do anything else? Professor? That was, well I don’t know what that was.” Harry rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“I agree, Harry. That was something.” Lupin gave a small grin while leaning against the desk again and allowing a shake to take over his body. 

“Okay, let’s go.” Hermione took one of his arms and flung it around her shoulders allowing the weight to rest on her while she made her way to the secret door that would lead to his chambers hall. “Bye, Harry.” 

Once alone Lupin pushed off Hermione and let his body rest against the cool wall in the darken path. 

“Do you need to rest, Professor?” Hermione grew worried about how few steps they had actually taken and tried to figure out how much more they had to go. 

“I don’t like you seeing me like this, Hermione.” Lupin sighed loudly and looked at the ground. Clearly, still in pain, but pride was starting to win out. 

“Shut up.” Hermione grabbed his arm again and continued to lead him down the hall. 

When they got to the bedchambers Hermione led him to the bed and sat him down gingerly. She walked into the bathroom, without realizing that she had never been in there before, and waited for the torches to come to life. Looking around she couldn’t believe the size of it all. The shower was a walk in that was meant to steam and the bathtub, not as large as the prefects, had a distinct hot tub like feel to it. The loo was off in its separate closet. Double sinks made Hermione smile. 

“It is rather nice.” Lupin leaned heavily against the door. “I think I can manage from here.” 

“Hush,” Hermione moved to him and began undoing his Oxford taking it off along with his cardigan. She had to undo his belt and trousers to get the shirt off, but she allowed those to pool at the floor. Going to her knees she removed his shoes and socks and the rest of his clothing letting them pile in the corner. 

“You shouldn’t be doing this for me. I should be the one taking care of you.” Lupin whispered as she made her way up. 

Hermione threw a questioning look over her shoulder as she quickly got the shower to a hot temperature. She began quickly undressing herself. 

“What are you doing, love?” Lupin’s voice a whisper again. 

“You’ll need help in there and the shower will make it easier to massage out your muscles.” She stated matter-of-factly. She knew he was going to argue and wanted to cut it off as much as possible. “Come on, now.” 

Walking towards him Hermione realized she had never seen him completely nude before. In a nonsexual way just looking at his body. She led him to the shower where she took in all of his pale creamy skin and the freckles that lined it. The long scars from his transformations or the short self inflicted ones that he never had healed properly. The indention of his spine down his back and the two little dimples that sat above his small, but firm butt. Of course, she knew his legs were skinny, but she could see how shapely they were and the muscles looked even more defined in the candle light. 

The water in the shower was like lava and the steam made it almost impossible to see much, but she could tell they soothed his cramps muscles. Hermione grabbed the one bar of soap, with an eye roll at the simplicity of men, and began working her way from his neck down. She focused on his biceps and digging her fingers into releasing the tight knots that formed. Down into his hands and she heard each finger pop. She moved to do his chest first and made quick work of it finding the biggest knot on his stomach from where the spell had actually landed. She used her small hands to work the knot the best she could as Lupin leaned against the cool stone wall of the shower. The hot water still beating down on both of them. It was his first moan that told her she had released the knot. 

Even in the heat of the shower Hermione could feel her own pool of desire heating up between her legs. She quickly dropped to her knees in order to work her hands into his legs. 

“Love, I’m sorry, I would-“ Lupin started from above her. 

“No, no, I’m sorry. Just a response.” Hermione looked up at him. At this angle it was obvious she wasn’t the only one effected. “Biological. But we shouldn’t. You’re hurt.” 

“It was one spell. You are right though.” Lupin sighed clear disappointment. 

“Do you want to stay in or do you want get out and lay down?” Hermione stood up to face him again. 

“I think I need to lay down now.” He still managed to steal a kiss and quickly coped a feel of a her free breast. Hermione didn’t miss his self-satisfied chuckle. She just rolled her eyes and whispered, Marauder. 

She cut the shower off and stepped out quickly grabbing her wand to cast a warming charm. Already Lupin was walking out and seemed to be moving better than before the shower. She raced to his side, but he grabbed her hand instead of allowing her to take his weight. They walked back to the bed slowly and got under the covers not bothering with clothes. After a few minutes he brought her body closer to his sharing his warmth. 

“Hermione?” His gentle tenor asked the dark room. The use of her first name in his private rooms let her know he was going to ask a serious question. 

“Yes?” She was cautious about the conversation. 

“I think we need to talk about the train ride up here. You said something…” He was allowing his fingers to dance across her belly as the other hand went up and down her arm. 

“Oh?” Hermione landed on feigning ignorance. She had a feeling she knew what he wanted to talk about.

“Making this harder? Okay. You said you couldn’t wait for me to fuck you.” Lupin’s lips were in her hair. She started to relax realizing this wasn’t an easy conversation for him either. “I think we need to talk about that.” 

“Well it seems I said what I wanted.” Hermione replied trying to sound more confident than she felt. 

“I imagine so, but I thought we agreed to take it slow?” Lupin chuckled at her. 

“And we have been. I’m just ready for the next thing. I can feel it.” Hermione tilted her head up to look into his eyes. The pain from earlier seems to have left his face. 

“What do you mean, love?” Lupin brought his eyebrows together. 

“When we’re together. After you make me cum,” The way his eyes darken weren’t lost on Hermione, “I can feel how my body reacts to wanting you. I can feel myself wanting you inside of me.” She decided to push her luck. 

“It’s like I feel so good, but empty without you.” She raised one of her hands to his hair and pulled gently. He let her guide their lips together smoothly and slowly. He broke it before they could get started. 

“I understand. Do you have a timeline in mind?” Lupin’s hand were dancing across her body. She was trying to control herself. 

“Well, my birthday is in a couple weeks. I’ll be 15.” Hermione whispered trying to recapture his lips. 

“Full moon falls on your birthday, love.” He kissed her forehead trying to ignore the disappointment. 

“Right. I knew that. Before?” Hermione huffed out. 

“We’ll know the time.” He laughed at her again. Hermione knew he wasn’t making fun of her just enjoying her desire. 

“Okay, I can live with that. I think you need to sleep now.” Hermione leaned up and kissed him. She shimmied out of bed and got dressed taking her time as she felt a pair of green eyes on her the whole time. After charming her hair dry and pushed back she made her way back over to the bed. 

“Don’t forget to eat, okay?” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. They said their goodbyes and she made her way back to the common room to give the boys a full report.

The weekend went by in a blur. Hermione snuck down to Lupin as much as she could even though he swore he was better. In fairness he did look better, but Hermione was enjoying the excuse to be alone with him. 

Dumbledore, while not pleased with Moody’s usage of an unforgivable on a fellow Professor, bought his story of showing the students how quickly dark wizards can cast a spell that can take out even the best duelers. 

By the time Wednesday rolled around Hermione was just getting her timetable under her and her revising and library schedule settled. It wasn’t until she was halfway out of the Potions classroom that she slapped her forehead feeling like her grip on the term was slipping. She turned around and hastily walked back towards her professor. 

“Professor Snape? Sorry, Sir. I forgot something.” Hermione stood in front of his desk. 

“Seeing as you don’t sit at my desk Miss Granger I don’t imagine you would need to be in front of me.” He sneered at her, but didn’t actually look at her. 

“No, Sir, of course not.” Hermione took a deep breath. “It’s just that back in June you said you would read my essay on Wolfsbane and make a decision on if you would tutor me?” 

“Right. Yes.” He drawled out still not looking at her. 

“Yes, you’ll do it?” Hermione couldn’t help the smile that broke out and her excitement. 

“You misunderstand. Predictably. Right, yes. I remember saying that to you.” Snape finally looked up at her with open hostility. “Have we not spoken about reigning in your emotional outburst?” 

“Sorry, Professor.” Hermione turned her eyes down. She let the silence hang there. 

“As it is, Miss Granger, I have decided to begin the process of teaching you how to brew the Wolfsbane potion.” Snape rustled papers on his desk while staring her down. 

“Thank you, Professor. What nights should I be here?” Hermione kept her eyes on the floor and tried to keep the smile off his face. 

“Next Wednesday night and each Wednesday night henceforth. Argument?” Snape smirked at her. 

“No, Sir.” Hermione let a small smile direct its way towards the Potions Masters before leaving the room. 

At the end of the week the students of the DADA class were exhausted. Most of them were aiming to get into the advanced class if for no other reason some of them were too scared to to stay behind with Moody. 

“Class, today we’ll be focusing on deflecting hexes. I know most of you can cast a simple shield charm, but this is a different theory. Have you all read the chapter? In order to get to the advanced class you’ll need to have these mastered.” Lupin announced from the front. Moody sat off to the side on a stool passing his walking stick between two hands. 

Lupin broke up the class into groups of four. Neville joined the trio and the group began practicing the deflections. Try after try Hermione was unable to deflect the hexes sent her way. 

“Hermione, you okay?” Harry called over. Clearly concerned that his best friend hadn’t picked up on the counter-hex. 

“Come on, Harry, she’s tricking us. Aren’t you ‘Mione.” Ron was laughing at Hermione’s failure convinced that she was just holding back. He threw a hex Hermione’s way that only resulted in her crying out from the slice that landed on her non-wand hand. 

“Shit, ‘Mione! Are you okay?” Neville was the first to get to her and examined her hand. 

“Everything alright over here?” Professor Lupin came over and immediately took Hermione’s hand from Neville. He searched her eyes trying to figure out how it happened that she didn’t block Ron’s spell. “Okay, 10 minutes left in the class. Let me watch what you guys have in you. Earn your weekend.” 

The boys dodged the hexes with grace. The hexes Hermione and Neville threw didn’t stand a chance against Harry and even Ron managed to scrape by. When the boys turned on each other Harry almost bested Ron, but he was able to get out of it. By the time Lupin called it on the two of them both boys were laughing. 

When it was time for Neville and Hermione to showcase their talent the time was less jubilant. Neville was a disaster and couldn’t manage to get the deflection to even somewhat manifest from his wand. Hermione left the boys in a complete state of shock. She couldn’t get the spell to come out and as such Neville was able to land one of his first hexes on her. Lupin didn’t even bother having the boys test out the two. 

“Well, okay. That’s that.” Lupin looked lost. Hermione couldn’t look him in the eye even though she could feel him trying to find her several times before dismissing the class. 

“Hermione, do you, uh, want to come to the common room? Or maybe we could go outside? We could keep working on this.” Harry rubbed his hair. His lack of smugness was a nice departure from last year. 

“I’m going to stay behind and talk with Professor Lupin. I don’t want to worry too much right now. Maybe just some tutoring.” Hermione gave Harry a reassuring smile trying to get him to leave the class. 

With all the students departed and Moody having shuffled out without a word Hermione approached the Professor’s desk. Lupin was grading papers and without looking up closed the classroom door, locking and silencing it. He sprang up from his chair and came around the desk to take Hermione in his arms. 

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t throw classes anymore to spend extra time here. Not that I’m not glad for it.” He crashed his mouth down on to Hermione’s instantly claiming the space as his own. She tried to resist it in order to talk to him, but she found herself giving in. When he broke from her mouth and latched on to her jaw she tried again. 

“Professor.” Her voice was weak. Hermione put her hands on his chest trying to push him back, but her hands slipped under the buttons. 

“I’ve missed you. This week went by too quickly.” Lupin moved his way down her neck. He heard her make a sniffling noise, but paused when he felt something wet hit the side of his face. “Hermione? What’s wrong? Did I do something?” 

“No, no. I’m sorry.” Hermione was weeping and trying to harshly wipe the tears off her face. “It’s just that… I wasn’t faking it.” 

“Faking what, love?” Lupin ran his hands over her hair trying to soothe her. 

“The hex deflection. I really don’t understand it.” Hermione’s weeping turned to full on sobs as she admitted to not getting the concept. “If I don’t understand and perform the concept I can’t be placed in the advanced class. What am I going to do, Professor?” 

“Oh, Hermione. It’s alright. Okay, I can tutor you.” Lupin brought her body to his wrapping his strong arms around her. 

“How is that fair to everyone else?”

“I don’t see anyone else here asking for tutoring. Do you?” Lupin made a show of looking around earning himself a giggle from the witch. “Every Friday night? Can you do it?” 

“Yes, yes! Thank you, Professor.” Hermione jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him squarely on the mouth. She pulled back only to land another one and another one. She pulled back and looked at him with darken eyes. Now that her academic problem had been solved she could feel another one aching for her attention. “Please, Professor?”

“I have a staff meeting in twenty minutes.” Lupin continued kissing her softly. He plopped her on his desk and put his hands under her skirt to remove her knickers. Another lacy pair. Hermione watched as he took a swift smell before pocketing them in his trousers. “Put your feet up. Yeah, there you get.” 

With Hermione’s feet propped on the edge of his desk and her exposed to him he waved over his seat and before she could say anything else he had his head buried between her legs. He wasted no time in running his tongue up her slit and swirling it around her swollen nub. She moved her hips in time with his ministrations and moaned out loud as he pushed two long fingers into her. His thumb took over where his tongue had been as he laid kisses around her thighs. 

“Don’t stop, Professor, please I’m almost-“ Hermione was grasping at her breast through her shirt withering on his desk. 

“Already, love?” Professor Lupin slowed his fingers down making Hermione dangle in agony on  the edge. 

“Don’t tease me, Sir. Oh god!” Hermione cried out as Lupin reattached his mouth to her clit. His fingers sped up giving her a deliciously filled feeling as the flat of his tongue worked her up and down and the tip to flick her bundle of nerves. Her pants were only interrupted by her moaning for her Professor to never stop touching her. 

And he didn’t. Not when she had dug her hands into his hair and her back arched off his desk and her elbows had knocked his to-be graded papers to the floor. It wasn’t until he thought he would have to learn a stronger silencing charm to block out the sounds of her cries of ecstasy that he slowed his tongue and finger movement. When Hermione seemed to come back to herself she felt his fingers leave her and she whined at the lack of contact. When she looked down she could see him examining his fingers as he stood up between her legs. Her mouth dropped open as he popped them in his mouth and sucked the cum off. He only winked at her and shrugged one of his shoulders. 

“Like right now is the time I want to feel you.” Hermione leaned up and put her hands on his buckle. Her eyes were still dark with post-orgasmic bliss and her breaths were coming heavy. 

“I have a staff meeting, love, in, huh, thirteen minutes. Careful, you might inflate my ego with your quick performances.” Lupin wiggled his eyebrows and leaned down to kiss her. 

“I’ll take your advice. Last thing we need is another Marauder with an out of control big head.” Hermione grabbed his jaw to kiss him deeply and pepper his lips with kisses as he pulled away. She was rewarded with one of his real laughs. “Can I have my panties back, Professor?” 

“No.” He flipped her skirt out of her waist band and helped her hop down from his desk. With a flick of his wrist his desk was righted. Hermione just stared with her mouth open. 

“Starting next Friday? You think that will be enough time? Only leaves us with three Fridays before we get tested.” Hermione worried her lip thinking about if she would be able to handle the stress from her DADA lacking and her potions lessons. 

“You’ll have class as well to keep up. Might not hurt to form a study group with Harry and Ron.” Lupin adjusted his pants and threw his robes over his shoulders. 

“And Neville of course.” 

“Hermione, love,” he fixed her with his gentle stare, “you need to make a decision. A study group would be good for you, but not if Harry and Ron think you’ll get it on your own and they have to help Neville. I’m not saying purposefully keep him out, but I wouldn’t give up your space for him. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, unfortunately.” Hermione deflated a bit at the selfish realization. 

With that Hermione bid him farewell and headed back to the common room. She told the boys how she’ll be doing tutoring with Lupin, but only once a week. They eagerly accept a study group, tacking on other subjects, and assured her that she would pass into the advanced class without any issues. She spent the rest of the weekend practicing getting the deflection to at least manifest on her wand. By Sunday night she had made progress and she went to sleep happy with that.

Wednesday snuck up on Hermione. She had studied as much as possible as not to embarrass herself in front of Snape knowing that second chances would not be given. After class was dismissed Hermione stayed in her seat and told the boys some lie about staying behind to ask about the upcoming term exams. After they were alone Snape snapped the door closed as he always did. He didn’t speak busying himself with work on his desk. Hermione was able to count the minutes and got to twelve before he spoke. 

“Why lie to your friends, Miss Granger?” Snape peered up at her. 

She chose her words carefully, “They wouldn’t understand. They don’t understand pursuit of knowledge for knowledge sake. Unless it’s the latest Quidditch stats.” She couldn’t help the eye roll that accompanied the last sentence. 

“Astute observation.” Snape placed his quill down and leaned back in his chair. Hermione couldn’t remember ever seeing him so relaxed. “Go to the store and bring back all the ingredients you’ll need for the potion. Without the aid of your list.” 

Hermione smiled at him and hopped down from her stool. She had anticipated this and had memorized the list over the last few days. As she put all the ingredients in her basket she had attempted to reach the last two on the upper shelf on her own. 

“Professor Snape?” She called for her teacher from inside the cupboard. 

“Yes, Miss Granger.” She hadn’t even heard him approach her. 

“Can you help me get these last two. I can’t reach. I’m sorry I would use magic, but I saw Susan Bones do it in here second year and-“

“Yes, I remember. Normally, I have a stool in here…” Snape trailed off as he took a step in and tried to look at her basket gauging which ingredients he would need to get for her. 

Hermione didn’t wait and instead placed a hand on his shoulder, which instantly tensed, and lifted herself up on her tip toes to grab the first. The last ingredient needed was Monkshood. Hermione moved in front of her teacher standing between him and the shelves. 

“I think if you just stand there I can lift up and get it.” Hermione began to lift on her toes feeling her back pressed to her teachers chest. It was much harder than she had anticipated. 

“Or.” Snape drawled out as he reached his hand up and swiped the jar for her depositing it into her basket. He quickly turned and stalked out of the room. 

“Set the ingredients up in the order that they would be added to your cauldron.” Snape barked at her. 

Hermione did as he asked. Checking three times before calling him over to look at her work. She was sure she got it right. 

“According to the text this is correct.” She sat upon her stool. 

“According to the text?” 

“Well, it’s just I imagine you have a more sufficient way of doing things. You went to school with Belby didn’t you? What was your impression of him? His nephew leaves…something to be desired.” Hermione leaned forward, head in her hand. 

“Belby excelled at Potions, but I don’t think he came up with this whisper of an idea until he left. As for the text, I have some minor edits, but nothing that changes the order in which the potion is brewed. Good.” 

Snape retrieved a text from his desk before heading back in her general direction. 

“Read this,” he slammed the book down on her desk. “I will put the jars back. That’s it for today.” 

“That’s it? We aren’t going to start the brewing process?” Hermione straightened her back. 

“Ah the first disappointment, Miss Granger. Wolfsbane-“

“Can only be started under the full moon. Sorry, Sir.” Hermione apologized for the wrong answer and for interrupting him casting her eyes downward. 

“Mmm. Well, go on then. You’ve had enough of me for tonight.” Snape’s signature drawl got her out of her seat and packing up her bag. 

“I disagree. Thank you, Sir. Shall I come back on Monday to start the process?” Hermione quipped before heading out. She was very content with the way her first potion lesson had gone and hoped she had impressed Snape enough that he would be just as willing to continue. 

“Fine, but just to observe. Be prepared to restrain yourself.” Snape was already clearing the ingredients and heading back to his desk. 

Hermione said a quick goodbye and made her way back to her dorm. On her way out of the dungeons she saw a solo platinum blonde head. 

“Malfoy!” Hermione called out for him. If he heard her he didn’t turn around and it seemed he even sped up. She tried to catch up to him, but couldn’t match his speed and lost him at the next turn. Two weeks into Hogwarts and he hadn’t even looked at her. 

That Friday it seemed that the rest of the DADA class was passing her by in their ability to perform the Salvio Hexo charm. Harry and Ron were offering her a lot of praise for what she had accomplished, but at the end of class she was a sweaty emotional mess for not having gotten it yet. Moody had been the one teaching that day and if Hermione didn’t understand the concept under Lupin, under Moody it was basically impossible. She crossed her arms over her chest and repeatedly sighed loudly until all the students found their way out. Noting that almost none of them lingered as they would be able to get outside and enjoy the last warm days September had to offer. 

“Tantrum, Miss Granger?” Lupin took his perch on desk while smiling at her in his amused way. 

“This is bullshit.” Hermione huffed. 

“Language, Miss Granger. You wouldn’t want points deducted now would you?” Lupin bit his tongue to prevent the laugh from coming out. 

“I should have points deducted for being a complete imbecile.” Hermione threw her head down on her desk trying to fight off the tears that would surely come from academic failure. She heard Lupin close and ward the door. 

“Okay, love. I don’t like you talking about yourself like that. Up you get. Let’s start working.” Lupin came up tapped her shoulder trying to spurn her on. She stood on his command, but allowed her frame to slouch when she turned to face him. 

“No kisses first?” She knew she was full on pouting, but she was in a bad mood. 

“My love, if we start that we’ll never get to the lesson. Come on, stop being embarrassed.” Lupin cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb on her jaw. “Now, get in position.” 

They worked for almost two hours until it was time for dinner and the sun had set. Hermione’s hair was down and wild and she was sweating through her button down. Her breathing was hard as if she had been running for an hour. 

“Okay, good.” Lupin still looked pristine as if his day just started. 

“Are you joking me? I got off one in two hours.” Hermione was frantic. She was too hyped up from the last couple hours to calm herself down. 

“One is a good place to start. I’m not worried. Maybe if after two hours you had gotten zero…but that’s not the case is it?” Lupin smiled and made his way towards her. 

“Please don’t get close to me. I must look a fright and smell like the Black Lake.” Hermione groaned out as she went to her desk. 

“You smell delectable, Pet.” Lupin was right behind her. When she turned to look at him she noticed his eyes were dark and pupils blown. 

“Oh my god you like this? Professor, I don’t know. That’s a bit… ew.” Hermione bit her lip, but the laugh moved passed her lips anyway. 

“Wolf thing. You smell so much more like yourself. Your scent. It’s everywhere.” Lupin was running his hands up and down her arms. 

“I’m sure it is.” Hermione mumbled. She stopped to think about it for a second, but decided if he liked it she would give in a bit and leaned up to kiss him. She took extra care to rub her body along his as she moved up and down. 

“Do you have plans this weekend?” He asked between breaths. 

“Tomorrow, Harry and Ron have put together some birthday party for me in the common room. Why?” Hermione finished packing her bag and shouldering it. 

“Try and get away at some point. I’ll be in my quarters the whole weekend. Just resting and preparing for the full moon. I’d like to celebrate your birthday with you if you would like to do that.” Lupin kissed her forehead. 

“Of course, I would. The twins will probably have everyone liquored up by 9:00 so I should be able to get out relatively early.” They both laughed at the twins antics and the lightweights the Gryfinndor House has always been made up of. 

The two said goodbye to each other as they made their way to the Hall for dinner. Harry and Ron were actually interested in her retelling of the lesson and excited for her when she told them she was finally able to cast the charm effectively. Lavender and Parvati joined the trio for dinner that night and together the five of them discussed the party planned for next day. 

“Are we inviting anyone from other Houses? Besides Padma of course.” Hermione asked as she tried to secretly look over at the Slytherin table. 

“Perhaps. We’ll see if there’s a general comfort with it.” Harry responded digging into his treacle tart. 

They all made their way back to the common room with Ron checking with the twins about drinks for the next night. They laughed at him until Ginny sauntered over and asked if Hermione’s party would be fun. Fred and George immediately scolded Ron for not telling them of the occasion and assured Hermione that everything would be perfect for her. After that, they all went up to change for bed. The girls giggling at how quickly the twins changed their tune for her and Hermione waving them off. 

Hermione went to sleep that night excited for the next night.

Hermione woke up the next day to gifts pouring off her bed. Crookshanks seemed more than put out that his spot on the bed was taken up by packages and bags. 

“Happy birthday!” Lavender squealed seeing Hermione wake up. 

“Thanks, Lav. Technically, my birthday isn’t until Monday.” Hermione didn’t have time to prepare herself before the blonde was jumping on her bed picking out presents much to Hermione’s amusement. 

“Whatever, whatever. Today’s for celebrating is it not?” Lavender handed over two boxes. 

Hermione smiled at her appreciatively while opening the first box. It was a set of hair potions that seemed more chemistry set than hair product, but Lavender included instructions and a small book detailing all the charms that could be used with the potions. Eventually, this was removed from Hermione’s hands with a declaration of enough time for reading later. 

The second box was flatter and Hermione gave it a suspicious shake before opening it. 

“Clothes?” Hermione questioned her roommate. 

“Something like that anyway.” Parvati’s voice laughed out loud from her bed letting the girls know she was awake. 

Hermione’s eyes bugged out of her head as she snatched the open box to her chest trying to cover the contents from whom she wasn’t quite sure. Inside laid five different colors of lacy panties and two all lace bras. One black and forest green, one maroon. 

“Lavender! Parvati… what.” Hermione stuttered over herself. 

“Oh no, no, no. Not Parvati. I got you something else.” Parvati continued her laugh from her upright position in her bed. 

“I couldn’t help myself. I saw last week when you were unpacking that you had finally invested in something other than those cotton underthings you’ve been so fond of and thought I would help out your portfolio. Diverse it a bit.” Lavender giggled at her presumptuous gift and pulled out the black and green bra. “Plus, the all lace is actually quite comfortable. Once you get use to it anyway. Plus, who knows who will be seeing them.” 

“Well, they are lovely Lavender. I mean really I don’t think I’ve ever had anything so pretty.” Hermione thumbed over the panties thinking about how it wouldn’t be just anyone seeing them, but a certain DADA professor. Hermione leaned over and hugged her friend feeling grateful. 

“Open mine!” Parvati got up and picked up another package with a small bag accompanying it. 

“You guys did too much…” Hermione murmured while accepting the gifts from Parvati’s hands. 

Inside the box she found the latest planner from Flourish and Blotts. This planner would listen in while open and take down any assignments or tasks that needed to get done. Parvati demonstrated by opening it and speaking about Hermione having private DADA lessons on Friday nights. Magically, the next three Friday nights have Hermione’s time blocked out. The bag contained about fifty sugar quills. 

“Parvati, this is perfect! Thank you, both really. I’m just-“ Hermione stopped herself before the choking up became actual tears. 

“Oh, Hermione of course! You’re always so thoughtful with your gifts and time with us.” Parvati hugged her which Lavender quickly joined in on. Lavender disengaged herself and ducked out to head to the bathroom. 

“Thank you guys again. I’m actually so excited for tonight.” Hermione blushed at her own eagerness for a party in her honor. 

“Yeah? I know Fred was up late last night planning. You have those boys wrapped.” Parvati looked towards the door before sitting down in front of Hermione. “Listen, I tried to talk to Harry and Ron about inviting… others from different houses.” 

“Oh?” Hermione packed up her opened presents. 

“I don’t think they would be very opened to Malfoy and his goons coming.” Parvati lowered her voice. 

“Oh! I never thought… what I mean is I didn’t want… he’s not-“ Hermione was stuttering again. 

“It’s okay. I know you guys have your thing-“

“Parvati, no, there’s no thing. Malfoy is just around a lot.” Hermione’s voice trailed off as she heard how pathetic her response was. “I know you’ve seen some things last year, but you have to believe me; it really isn’t what you think it is.” 

“I do believe you. I’ll just say this and we can drop it - I’m sorry if you wanted him here and I couldn’t make it happen.” Parvati gave her a hug again and got up from the bed just in time for Lavender to come back in talking nonstop about what they would all wear that night. 

The day flew by in a haze of homework and having the girls, including Ginny, forcing Hermione to get ready with them. This consisted of hours of doing hair, redoing hair, doing makeup, redoing makeup, and picking out different outfits. 

An hour before the party was set to begin Ginny huffed her way back into the room complaining that the twins wouldn’t give her any of their stashed butter beers so they could begin pregaming. Hermione, in a move of giddiness to make the other girls laugh, threw on an old Weasley Quidditch kit and her sleep shorts and ran down the stairs right up to the sixth floor boys dorms. She knocked loudly and smiled at Lee Jordan who opened the door. 

“Given the kit I imagine you’re not here to see me?” He opened the door and let her walk in. Hermione spotted Fred on his bed where she walked over, trying to not take in the state of the room, and sat down next to the wide eyed boy. 

“‘Mione, didn’t expect you here…ever.” Fred moved his legs to give her room. 

“Sorry to intrude I was just hoping you wouldn’t mind releasing a few of your butter beers so the girls and I could get ready for the party? I know you worked so hard on it.” Hermione stared into his eyes while letting her hand rest of his thigh and bringing her tan legs up next to his body.  

“Stay strong, Fred!” George called out while chuckling with Lee. 

“Of course, here.” Fred waved his wand and a case of cream liquid landed between them on the bed. 

“Like an ox this one.” George mumbled under his breath as Fred threw him a rude hand gesture. 

“Thanks for putting this all together, Fred.” Hermione looked up at him. 

“Oi, he’s only half of the equation here.” George was still teasing the pair from his bed. 

“Of course, but I know he knows how much it means to me.” Hermione turned her smile on George getting him to shut up. 

“It’s really no problem, ‘Mione.” Fred mumbled from his spot on the bed. He let his hand ghost over hers. 

“Still. I’m actually excited for my birthday. Maybe I owe you a gift?” Hermione lightly laughed as she grabbed the case and slid off his bed. She made her way out of the door thanking the boys one more time. Before the door closed she could hear the boys already laying into Fred. 

“Could you be anymore obvious? Truly, brother, you are not cool.” George threw something in Fred’s direction. 

“I can’t help it! She’s wearing my jersey.” Fred tried to defend himself, but Hermione could hear him giving in to the others bullying. 

She laughed all the way back to her dorm room where the girls delighted in her conquest. They continued getting ready with Hermione landing on a black thin strap mini dress. The party was a hit. Hermione had been dancing for a solid two hours trying to encourage Harry and Ron to join her. When that didn’t work she landed on Neville who gave her two very awkward dances before shuffling off to join the other boys in a game of exploding snap. 

Hermione looked around and even in her six butter beer haze knew that the attention wasn’t on her. Parvati had taken up residency in Seamus’s lap and Lavender was sitting between Ron and Harry handing out compliments. She made quick work of running up the boys stairs and making a direct line for Harry’s bed and trunk. She found the invisibility cloak and map and ran back down stairs stashing them behind a study desk that would be surely unoccupied for the rest of the night. 

“Were you just upstairs?” Fred came up behind her making Hermione shriek in surprise. 

“Looking for you.” Hermione turned around and gripped Fred’s shirt. 

“Really?” Fred couldn’t help the surprise look that came across his features before schooling them in his classic lopsided grin. 

“I can’t find anyone else to dance with and the night is young.” Hermione pouted at her misfortune. 

Fred waved his hand wildly in the air asking for her hand and led her to the dance floor. He moved her through three fasts songs before Lee sent a wink their way and put on one of the few slow songs of the evening. 

At this point Hermione had drank seven butter beers and found her head rested well on Fred’s chest. 

“I don’t mind it, you know?” Fred spoke above her. 

Hermione lifted her head up to look at him and scrunched her brows together, “Mind what?” 

“Being so violently used and abused by you.” Fred chuckled from his chest. 

“Fred, I-“ Hermione went to pull back from him. 

“No, really. It’s okay. I think part of me is using you too.” Fred looked down into her eyes. 

Hermione allowed Fred to waltz her around to the slow song before joining him in the last two real dances of the evening. At the end she kissed his cheek and thanked him. Looking around, she noticed that many of her friends had either passed out on the sofa’s or had already retired. She took a seat and pulled out a book waiting for the common room to lose any interested eyes. It only took about another twenty minutes before she found she was alone enough to sneak out. 

Once she collected her hidden items and was out in the hall she found herself alone and in quiet for the first time all day. Casting a temps charm she saw that it was almost one in the morning. She considered that it was too late; a consideration that even made her turn around when she saw that his name was not moving on the map. However, she pushed on and made her way down to the DADA hall. 

Hermione made her way behind the tapestry and quietly knocked on Professor Lupin’s door. What she wasn’t expecting was for the man to open the door looking half awake and fully as handsome as ever. The butter beers causing a man and a half to appear in front of her didn’t help. She boldly pushed in taking the cloak off and dropping both items on his desk. She spun around to face him. Her hair was down and swinging around her waist and one of the thin straps from her dress had fallen down her arm. 

“Take your clothes off.” Hermione stated plainly and moved to the bedroom. 

“Hermione, my love, I can smell the butter beer from here.” Lupin laughed at her, but followed her nonetheless. 

“Anything else?” She called from her spot in his bedroom window. When she knew that he was in the doorway she made a show of unzipping her dress until her hand coordination was lost and she couldn’t finish. 

“Pet, the full moon is two nights away. This isn’t smart.” Lupin came up behind her and finished unzipping her dress anyway. 

Hermione placed her hands on either side of the window nook and allowed her hair to fall down her back. She could practically feel Lupin’s eyes trailing down from the crown of her head to her crossed legs. He paid special attention to the new maroon cheeky lacy panties that cut across her bottom. 

“There’s a bra that matches, but the dress didn’t allow. You understand.” Hermione threw over her shoulder. 

Hermione gasped as his hands grasped her waist and squeezed affectionately running his hands over her belly and bringing his body up against hers standing in the nearly full moon light. Her breathing intensified as Lupin bent his head down to kiss up her neck and take her ear lobe in between his teeth. She leaned her head back on to his shoulder and pressed her ass into the crouch of his trousers. Her back arching out causing her breast to push into his forearms. His fingers barely made contact with her rounded breast provoking a whimper to fall from her lips. 

Lupin’s other hand trailed the fingertips down her hip and rounding around her thigh coming back up the inside stopping just short of the apex of her thighs. He was everywhere. All around her and breathing her oxygen. She could feel herself melting. 

“Rule for the night,” he growled out behind her, “if I say stop. We stop.” 

Hermione nodded and turned her body to divest him of his clothing. His broad chest wasn’t bare a second before she was lining it with kisses. She ran her tongue over his nipple before taking it between her teeth. When she heard him hiss and hum and in pain and pleasure she lapped her tongue over it again. Lupin grabbed her jaw again with his strong hands, but had a loose enough hold that Hermione was able to suck his middle finger into her mouth swirling her tongue around the long digit. She closed her own eyes at the sensation of suckling at his body and her moan vibrated down his arm. Her eyes opened enough to peer up at him as her hands unbuttoned his trousers thankful that he was comfortable enough to have already had his shoes and socks off. 

Hermione popped his finger out of her mouth as she pushed Professor Lupin’s body back towards the bed slowly letting him step out of his pants. His pronounced erection bounced against his stomach as he fell back against the bed and laid his head down on the pillows. She forgot how powerful she felt like this. Lupin completely naked laid out for her as she stood there above him having her figured drank in by his eyes. She ran her own fingers over her tongue and circled her harden nipples watching him palm his harden member as she let the sound of his heavy breathing intoxicate her. Running both hands down her waist she hooked her thumbs in her panties and pulled them down before kicking them off and kneeling between his legs on the bed. 

Bending down she laid down small open mouth kisses up his legs licking along any of the more stark scars. She kept her head moving so he couldn’t thread his fingers through her hair until she finally reached her destination. Making eye contact with him she licked her way up his shaft taking in the bead of pre-cum that had formed on the tip. They both let out an appreciative moan; him for her actions and her for the taste she couldn’t get enough of. 

Hermione found herself losing restraint as she continued to lap her tongue up and down while swirling it around the redden tip. Spurred on by Lupin’s groans of pleasure Hermione took him fully in her mouth and started with an erratic sucking pattern building up to a constant up and down. She felt Lupin bury his hands in her hair and push his hips back into mouth. 

“I’m going to lose control, Pet. We should stop.” Lupin ground out while he pulled her hair up trying to get her to release him. 

“‘I want you to lose control.’” Hermione smirked up at him trying her best to imitate him. She put her mouth back around his swelling head as she took him in inch by inch and hollowed out her cheeks. She could feel her spit falling down in globs to the parts her tongue could not reach as she moved her hand in tandem with her mouth. Hermione could hear the way her Professor was reacting to her efforts and she felt how her body was reacting. With her other hand she reached down between her legs to give herself much needed attention. 

Hermione had not been able to swirl her aching clit more than three times before she felt strong hands grab her by the shoulders and bring her body up to meet Professor Lupin’s face to face. She leaned down to deliver a hard needy kiss while straddling his lap. His hands roamed her body as she sat her core right along the length of him. The heat of their two bodies mixing together caused Hermione to burying her head in his neck and let out a long moan as she began rocking her hips in the small hip circles she loved. Needing more friction she placed both hands on Lupin’s chest so she could sit up and anchor her body further down on to him. She felt as the slickness from her center caused her to slip up and down as the head of his heated cock hit her bundle of nerves over and over again. 

“We have to stop, please. I can’t control…please stop.” Lupin’s hands had taken up a fixture on Hermione’s hips as he aided her in moving back and forth. He seemed to be begging her to stop, but she watched as his eyes rolled back in his head every time her body slid forward. Suddenly, Hermione was no longer on top, but landing roughly with her back on the mattress. 

Looking up into Lupin’s eyes were like looking into hooded pools of blackness. Hermione imagined she must look the exact same. She didn’t get to look very long as just as quickly as he had flipped her he ducked his head to take one of her painfully hard nipples into her mouth and sucked roughly. Her back arched off the bed in order to feed more of herself into the waiting mouth of her DADA teacher. 

“Please, Professor. I want you.” Hermione was able to pant out as she ran her fingers through his hair. Lupin skipped the pleasantries of kissing down her body and immediately laid a searing kiss right on her clit. His tongue got to work at lapping and swirling as his hand placed both thighs on his shoulders so he could push them opening her legs up to him. He was rewarded by the young witch continuously calling out his name in praise. Right before he knew she was about to cum he inserted two long fingers into her tight hole and locked eyes on her as he fucked her with his digits and sucked on her clit. 

“Fuck. Oh god, oh fuck, just like that, fuck please, Professor, I’m going to cum, Sir.” For as active as Lupin’s fingers were fucking Hermione her hips moved back against him. 

“That’s right, Pet. Cum on my face.” Lupin’s words had Hermione just teetering on the edge enough that as soon as his tongue made contact with her clit Hermione did just as he told her and came on his face. Her hips moved quickly seeking as much as contact with his mouth as possible. Her body hadn’t stopped moving when she began begging Lupin to let her touch him. Keeping his eyes locked on her he came up on his knees and tried to jerk his cock above her, but Hermione had other plans. 

Quickly knocking his hand away she raised up her own body and took his member in her mouth finishing her task from earlier. Hermione tried not to smile as she felt Professor Lupin’s hips moving in a small controlled circle into her mouth as her hand met her mouth. With a low groan Lupin dug both hands into Hermione’s hair and called out his own orgasm before shooting off his hot white liquid into her mouth. Hermione, once again, tried her best to take it all in a few swallows, but one look at his face told her he would like to see it coming down her face. 

“Fuck.” Professor Lupin swore softly when the little witch opened her mouth to show him the contents she had yet to swallow and let just a couple of dabs dribble down her chin. She closed her mouth and swallowed what was left before smiling up at him and pulling him down for a kiss. 

Lupin laid down on the bed bringing Hermione to his side and covering them with a blanket while flicking his wrist to rekindle the fire. He laid gentle kisses along her hairline. 

“How was your party?” Lupin asked after some time. 

“Mmm not as fun as the last few minutes.” Hermione yawned. 

“More than a few minutes.” The professor grumbled out. 

Hermione laughed up at him, “Sorry, Professor. The last… thirty minutes?” 

“Better.” 

Hermione cuddled up to the older man finding his warm skin a comfort in the late hour. They both quickly fell asleep in each other arms. 

The next morning Hermione woke up alone in the big bed with the fire roaring. 

“Professor Lupin?” Hermione called out. 

“Here, love.” Lupin came through the door holding a badly wrapped package, “ah yes. I had to fight with this.” 

Lupin moved to sit down next to Hermione as she sat up in bed. The blanket pooling around her waist exposing her ample chest. Lupin didn’t hide his appreciative stare, but he didn’t catch Hermione’s smirk. She held her hand out for her present. Lupin leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on her lips while pushing the package in her lap. Hermione couldn’t help the child like excitement she felt at being given a gift by someone who knew her so well. 

When she opened the package it was several, dozens and dozens, of blank parchment and one blank hard cover. Hermione looked up at Lupin with a questioning expression at the indiscernible gift. 

“I don’t understand, Professor.” Hermione smiled at him looking into his gentle face. 

“I couldn’t think of anything to get you for your birthday. It came to me over the summer during an Auror meeting. How little they know about werewolves. Which led me to thinking about one of our many fights last year. The book on vampires is a stand alone. I spoke with the staff at Flourish and Blotts. They’ve agreed to publish the book on werewolves - if we write it.” Lupin explained while rubbing his hand over hers that rested on the package. 

Neither spoke for several minutes. Finally, Hermione looked up with tear filled eyes and placed the package to the side. 

“Did I misunderstand, Hermione? My love, I’m sor-“ 

He didn’t get to finished as Hermione jumped into his lap and attached her lips to his. 

“This is perfect. Oh, Professor Lupin, this is just…perfect.” 

“Hermione, I’m so glad you like it, but I must remind you you are not wearing any clothing and it is too my chagrin that breakfast will be served soon.” Lupin continued to kiss her letting his hands wander. 

They were able to separate with Lupin explaining that he could not take her one more time, much to Hermione’s begging, as the full moon would be making an appearance the next night and his resolve was already at its end. She dressed slowly telling him that next time she was down here she would be taking advantage of his bath tub. 

When she did make it back to the Gryfinndor common room everyone was still asleep. She was just making her way to the bathroom when Parvati came tip toeing back in. 

“Seamus.” She shrugged. The girls shared a giggle. 

Hermione took a hot shower before making her way back to the rooms to dress for breakfast with both girls. 

September was only halfway done and if the first three weeks were anything to go by this school year would be wonderful. 

Chapter Text

Fourth Year - Fall 

Hermione considered her birthday a success before the actual day even happened. She received an abundance of presence from her friends and her parents. None that topped the gift of writing a book that Lupin had given her. It wasn’t that he would write about his experience, but rather that he had brought her in on his ever building confidence to actually approach Flourish and Blotts about writing the book. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face all day. Night time when she was set to meet with Professor Snape righted that ship. 

“Miss Granger, I wasn’t aware you were our new celebrity.” Snape drawled after she had been sitting at her desk after dinner. She knew he liked to be the first to speak during their meetings. 

“I would hardly call it fanfare, Professor. It’s my birthday.” Hermione offered up a smile. “Surely, you must remember what it’s like to have birthdays at Hogwarts.” 

“No.” 

Hermione didn’t know what to do with that answer. It wasn’t exactly dismissive, but it didn’t invite a follow-up. 

“Well, anyway, I think it’s because I’m one of the oldest of my class.” Hermione nodded her head before looking back down to at the textbook he had told her to study. 

“I would hope you are simply rereading instead of opening that for the first time.” He had moved quietly to stand in front of her placing all of the needed ingredients on the table. 

“Third time, actually. If it’s okay, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if I wrote the instructions down outside of the text? I’ll follow this of course, but I would like to observe your method as well. Then perhaps I can fix both side by side and see how they turn out?” Hermione had laid out her prepared potions book that allowed for the owner to add their own potions. 

“Hm. Fine.” It was as close to impressed as Hermione had ever heard Professor Snape. 

He worked in silence setting up the cauldron and preparing necessary ingredients on a table off to the side in a lab that would not be disturbed during normal class hours. Hermione stayed as close to him as possible even though she could tell she was making him uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything to her about it. 

“I hate to come off as daft, but I assume it’s safe to say you can’t use silver at all in making the potion? Spoon or knife? What about pewter? They aren’t so different in properties.” Hermione stood at his side taking notes. 

Snape stopped what he was doing and seemed to be weighing her question, “Silver I have never tried. I think it goes without saying you wouldn’t want to use it for given reasons. Pewter, again as I have never used it, but interesting observation.” 

“It doesn’t actually matter if the cauldron sits in the moonlight during the process? Why start on this specific day then?” Hermione was flustered by the details that went into potion making and was about to voice as much. 

“This is mastery level knowledge. Potions can rely on astrology just as much as how ingredients are added. There’s a belief that the potion relies on the moons pull with the full moon having the most pull obviously.” Snape actually let the corners of his mouth turn up. Maybe a grin, Hermione thought. 

They worked in silence for another twenty minutes before Snape began the clean-up process. 

“Next month you can brew along with me. Whichever method you’d like.” Snape spoke without looking at her. 

“Really?” Hermione was beyond shocked. She thought it would be months before he allowed her to actually work in his lab. 

“I’m not immune to celebrating birthdays.”

“Thank you, Professor.” Hermione turned from him so he wouldn’t see how elated she was. 

“Thank you for keeping your emotional outburst in check.” Snape’s signature drawl came out. “Miss Granger, one request - please spare me the assault of your fragrant products before you come for lessons.” 

“I don’t know how I feel admitting this, but I haven’t showered since yesterday morning. What’s the smell? I’ll avoid it.” Humiliated at the thought that her Professor was smelling her throughout the whole lesson Hermione made a mental checklist of all the products it could possibly be hoping it wasn’t one of the girls products. 

“Something honey and warm smelling. Terrible.” Snape was getting snippy. 

“Oh. That’s my…well okay. My dad says I’ve used it so long I would smell like it if I never touched it again.” Hermione tried to laugh to ease the tension, but Snape’s face a cold wall. “I will keep it mind for Wednesday night.” 

Hermione did just that and Wednesday night if the smell lingered Snape didn’t say anything about it. The Friday of her second lesson with Professor Lupin was much more successful with Hermione able to block several hexes. 

“You aren’t taking it easy on me are you?” Hermione joked with the older man. 

Lupin smiled at her and shook his head, but wouldn’t give her an answer verbally. 

“Sir?” Hermione’s voice had dropped in volume. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m holding back, per se.” He chose his words carefully, “I’m just not trying at my level. You’ll be tested by other students not by me.” 

“Okay, go all out.” Hermione squared her shoulders and took her position across from him. 

“This really isn’t necessary.” 

“Do it.” 

Without warning Lupin sent a stinging hex at her knee which she was able to deflect, but it was just a decoy as he quickly sent off two more to her hand and other leg. She was able to deflect the one at her hand, but the other hit her inner thigh. Not strong enough to make her cry out, but the red bloom on her exposed thigh made her wince. 

“Okay, point taken.” Hermione threw back her own spells trying her best to keep some non-verbal. Using the non-verbal spells had her exhausted in no time making her concentrate more on deflection. She was able to get off one that hit him in the side of the neck. A simple slicing hex, nothing deeper than a paper cut, but the look he gave her wiped the smile off her face. 

That seemed to do it and the two started to battle in earnest. Hermione kept sending out hex deflections as Lupin threw every hex he could think of at her. Hermione walked backwards trying to get away from him until she tripped over the leg of a desk and fell behind it. Thinking quickly Hermione cast a simple vanishing charm. 

When she sprung up Lupin already had his wand ready, but faltered just long enough for her to cast a rope tying charm on her Professor. 

“Hardly fair, Miss Granger.” Lupin pulled on the restraints. 

Hermione walked towards her professor with nothing but the maroon bra that Lavender had just gifted her and the bottom half of her uniform, “Can’t help it. Just taking Professor Moody’s advice and using all tools available. It worked.” 

Hermione stopped in front of Lupin and ran a finger down the middle fo his button down. Taking a step closer she captured his lips with hers. 

“I have to say, Professor, this is hardly a lesson in defense against the dark arts. You seem to be giving in quite easily.” 

Lupin knew she was taunting him, but he was finding ways to be okay with it, “I wasn’t anticipating you practicing the darkest of arts, Pet.” 

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Hermione waved her wand and her shirt quickly found its way back on her shoulders. 

“That’s just wrong.” Lupin muttered as his wrist also came free. He was rewarded with a small laugh from his witch. 

Just as Hermione was buttoning her last button Harry came walking through the door. She looked to Lupin wide eyed and stared down at floor. Neither of them could believe how careless they were in keeping the door unlocked. 

“Just seeing how it was…going. You two look a mess.” Harry laughed at them. The pair didn’t realize that they did in fact look terrible. Red skin and Lupin was still dribbling blood from his neck. 

“Hermione has perfected salvia hexio, granted it’s not as pretty as you and Ron.” Lupin smiled brightly taking his perch on the desk. 

“I don’t think anyone could make DADA look as pretty as me. Dinner?” Harry’s crooked smile took over his face as he turned to leave the classroom. 

“God, he is so much like his father.” Hermione turned to look at Lupin who was smiling at Harry’s back. With Harry out of the classroom Hermione took his hand in hers. 

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to see him without feeling that sadness?” 

“It hurts less. Less than I thought. Having Sirius backs helps.” Lupin met her eyes squeezing her hand.

“Do you get to talk to him?” 

“He was at the cottage for a bit over the summer, but…” Lupin took in a shaky breath, “but Dumbledore didn’t think it smart for us to be together. Not when my life is going so well. So I haven’t seen him since July. Before you say anything, I know you and Harry are in communication with him. Please don’t tell me where he is.” 

“I won’t. I hope it will get better for him, and you, soon.” Hermione looked over her shoulder quickly and stole a kiss. 

“Yes, well, we should get to dinner. I think the stress is off for next week. You’re going to make the advance class without problems.” Lupin’s calm voice had its natural effect on Hermione and she was able to actually to take a breath and tackle her work for the weekend and next week. Hermione couldn’t be sure, but the next Friday when she took her test she was confident she did well. 

October came across the castle and the mountain tops changed colors to the beautiful gold that would only last a month before the snow came in. The Twiwizard Tournament was still on the lips of every student, but no one was quite sure when the other schools would arrive. 

The first Friday of the month the DADA students walked in and you could practically feel the nerves in the air. 

“As you know, last Friday you were tested. Most of you were abysmal. Not surprising,” Moody sneered at Lupin who just rolled his eyes and nodded his head, “but some of you will be moving on with Professor Lupin to an advance class. Probably how to protect your own life or clean a bite.” 

“Shall I demonstrate?” Lupin grinned up at him. 

“Anyway, when you hear your name called you can leave and go to the empty class down the hall. You’ll be with me.” 

Moody began reading out names. Not all surprising. Poor Neville would be stuck with the madman. As would Lavender. Hermione tried to protest, but Lupin’s clipped voice said his class was closed. In the end those that were left consisted of Parvati, Ron, Harry, Padma, Anthony Goldstein, Malfoy, Theo Nott, and Pansy Parkinson. Hermione couldn’t believe how small the class ended up. 

“Sorry, Professor, is there any chance the others can come back? Move up?” Hermione asked. 

“No, Miss Granger. Not this year, unfortunately.” Lupin’s gentle tenor was back, but his words were final. Hermione nodded her head and took her notebook out for class. 

“Listen, I know this isn’t ideal. I know it feels like you’re being split from your friends and getting a different education, but this really is better for everyone.” Lupin was trying to explain to the class. 

“And if we don’t want to be stuck with a half-human?” Pansy’s nasally voice took up the room. Lupin didn’t answer her. 

“Half-human? Are you asking the rest of us, Parkinson, if we want to be stuck with you and your half a heart and brain? Cunt.” Hermione’s voice was dripping with violence. 

“What did you call me?” Pansy’s shrill voice called back as she jumped up and stalked towards Hermione. Hermione got out of her seat just as quickly. 

“You heard me you spoiled elitist fucking cunt-“ Hermione didn’t finish her sentence. Many things happened at once. Pasny pushed her back over her chair sending her sprawling to the ground and cracking her elbow on the top of the desk. The other students in the class all stood up screaming at one another with the three Slytherin’s clearly on their own side. Hermione tried to get off the ground, but found she couldn’t put weight on her arm and there was a slow build of pain happening. She briefly met Malfoy’s eyes, but he looked away just as quickly going back to exchanging verbal barbs with Ron. 

“Enough!” Lupin’s rough voice called out. “What is the matter with all of you? You’ve just been chosen to participate in an advance class and the first thing you do is start a physical brawl? Miss Parkinson, fifty points from Slytherin for your lack of respect and putting your hands on another student-“

“Well, worth it.” She huffed out at him.

“Was it?” Lupin smirked at her, “well good. Take the next ten Saturdays with Filch for detention as well.” 

“What?” Pansy screamed out at him, “But, Sir, Professor Lupin, that’s every Hogsmeade and Quidditch weekend of the term. You can’t be serious.” 

Every student, except those from Gryfinndor, looked beyond shocked. Anthony Goldstein had sat down and took out a calendar just to double check the dates. 

“I suggest you never put your hands on Hermione,” Lupin took a breath in, “or any other student again. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Sir.” Pansy sat down not bothering to hide her tears. 

Hermione had finally gotten herself up into her chair. Harry had gotten his arm around her. 

“Professor Lupin, I think Hermione might be really hurt.” Harry called out nervously looking over at the Slytherin’s who looked ready for another fight. 

Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose and walked over to the witch inspecting her cradled arm, “your elbow is sprained. Damn.” 

Pansy looked to Malfoy and Theo for confirmation that she still wasn’t at fault, but both boys looked down at their desk finding their notes much more interesting. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough for today. I know you have another hour left. Six inches on why, we as Wizards, should rise above throwing punches at each other. Due Tuesday. Hermione, stay. I’ll fix your elbow or take you to Madam Pomfrey.” 

Hermione could have sworn she heard him say something under his breath about Pomfrey cutting or murdering him, but with how quickly the other students got out of the classroom it was impossible to hear. Only Harry and Ron stayed behind. 

“Hermione, fuck. You and Pansy.” Ron let out a deep breath. 

“She’s so annoying. Who does she think she is talking to anyone that way.” Hermione was still agitated which she was thankful for as the annoyance was helping with her pain, “Can you guys do me a favor? Go wait in the common room for Lavender? I think she’ll be upset at being left out of the class. She might like knowing that you all waited for her.” 

“You sure, we could go to the hospital with you?” Harry patted her good arm. 

“I don’t think it will go that far. I’m sure Professor Lupin will fix me right up and send me along.” Hermione smiled up at him. 

Lupin looked like he was already regretting what he was going to say as he took her elbow and began some wand work over it, “Hermione, I’m sorry to say, but I have to give you detention as well.” 

“What!” Hermione shrieked so loud Ron almost covered his ears and Harry took a step back. 

“I know you don’t like the bullying-“

“Exactly, bullying.” Hermione tried to interrupt, but Lupin held his hand up.

“But, you can’t call your classmates spoiled cunts.” Lupin shook his head at her. 

“Spoiled elitist cunts.” Hermione gritted her teeth as she glared at Lupin. 

“You can’t call them that either.” Lupin met her challenge. 

“We’ll just be going.” Ron started backing out of the room with Harry close behind him. 

“Yeah, looking forward to the class, Professor.” Harry closed the door. Cowards, Hermione thought. 

“Professor Lupin, you can’t be serious. Detention? Pansy is awful.” Hermione turned her whole body to face him flexing her elbow out to the side with it being good as new. She raised her eyebrows at his proficiency, but quickly looked at him again questioning his decision. 

“Hermione, I already lost it. I don’t know if I can actually justify that amount of detentions.” 

“She sprained my elbow!” 

“Yes, she did. Please, take your detentions for the name calling.” Lupin was looking into her eyes trying to make her understand that this was the right thing to do. 

“Fine,” Hermione pouted out, “what’s my sentence?” 

“Two Saturday evenings. Starting tomorrow. With me. You can help me organize my office and book collection.” Lupin waved his wand and sent two dozen books up to his office. 

“But, Sir, tomorrow is the first Hogsmeade weekend… and I’ll be here.”

“Thank you, Hermione.” Lupin deflated a bit at her lack of argument. 

Hermione still narrowed her eyes at him as she packed up her bag. She didn’t say anything, but knowing the door was closed, she brought her fingers to her mouth and kissed them before placing them on his. Then silently walked out slamming the door behind her while screaming to Ron and Harry in the hall that she got two detentions. She missed Professor Lupin licked his lips and smile at her back the whole time she walked away.

The next night Hermione didn’t have to look around very much to know that she was one of the few older students to be in the Hall for dinner. She levitated a book in front of her and read while eating dinner purposefully taking her time. If she had to serve a four hour detention on a Saturday night then she was going to show up exactly on time. She knew Lupin was watching her with interested eyes, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of looking the least bit bothered. 

At five minutes to seven Hermione closed her book and packed up her things without looking at the staff table and made her way to the DADA hallway. Walking into the classroom the candles lit with her movements, but she could see the lights and gramophone were already on in his office. She trudged up the stairs deciding that Lupin could just deal with her bratty behavior for the night. Her attitude got a major adjustment when she entered the office and saw what could only be described as the aftermath of a bomb going on. 

“What the fuck happen in here?” Hermione dropped her bag on the floor by the door before thinking twice and moving it out to the stair landing. 

Lupin ran his hands through his hair while looking around at all the parchment and books that littered the surfaces. There were wayward charts and stacks of papers that needed to be graded. 

“Yeah, I sort of…I don’t know. I think I let things go a bit with Moody here.” 

“A bit, Professor? Okay, so I really think you should just let me do this.” Hermione retrieved her wand looking around clearly formulating a plan. 

Lupin was shaking his head, “Hermione, no, I didn’t give you detention because I need someone to clean up after me. I thought you could grade papers and I’ll…do this.” 

“Professor?” 

“Yes?”

“How was the last full moon? You didn’t say.” Hermione fixed her eyes on him not that it mattered as he turned his back to her. 

“It was fine, Hermione. Same old, same old.” Lupin began putting books on the shelves. Hermione knew he could hear her walk up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. Friendly, but not overly so. 

“Not good?” She whispered behind him. 

Finally he turned to look at her, “at the cottage I had space to run a bit. Wards up around the property. And in July I had Padfoot. I think being back in the Shrieking Shack is just an adjustment. That and Snape said he only had leftover potions so the potency was-“

“Basically nothing.” She finished for him shaking her head. “I wish you would tell me when it’s like that. I know you don’t want my help during those times and I’m trying to respect that, but please let me in on this part.” 

Hermione gestured around the office. The scene making much more sense knowing that he was dealing with more pain than he had been in the last year due to subpar potion and his own emotional turmoil at confinement and missing his best friend. 

“I don’t like you seeing me like that. I don’t want to be a burden to you.” 

“In the first year you’ve known me you watched me get relentlessly bullied, get my period in class, be confused over my knickers getting wet, saw me after said best friend punched me in the face, and six weeks ago you actually kneeled in my vomit after finding me in a mass grave so?” Hermione threw her hands up, “I think I can handle a bit of untidiness here and… if I find a loose boggart in here I will end you.” 

Lupin laughed at that and grabbed her around the waist to hug her close. Hermione didn’t mention that the door was open, but she knew he knew. 

For the next three hours Hermione, after summoning all the books to her most beloved sofa, organized every book in logical order on the shelves and began hanging charts. Some made their ways to the wall for his use while some got put away. 

“What’s wrong with the grindylow chart? Not relevant?” Lupin leaned back in his chair from where he had been grading papers. 

“No, just too gross. Honestly, I don’t know what it is. If I never had to deal with a grindylow again it will be too soon.” Hermione chuckled and tucked away his charts. 

Lupin got up from his chair standing to stretch this time and walked over to the sofa to look over the twenty or so books that Hermione left off the shelf, “What’s wrong with these?”

“I think they should go to your chambers. I agree they’re great for the seventh years, but I don’t imagine anyone would be happy if fourth years saw some of these. You know five of those talk about sex rites?” Hermione picked up one to flip through it. 

“Hm. Thought I left those at home with Sirius. Come, let’s have a spot of tea and we’ll put these in my study.” 

Putting the books in the study did turn into having tea on the couch in front of the fire. Which turned into Lupin looking over Hermione’s elbow to make sure his spell work was adequate. Which turned into a more than heavy snogging session of their traditional position with Hermione straddling her Professor. Lupin’s hands had found their way under her shirt where they seem to be lighting her lower back on fire. Hermione finally broke the kiss. 

“I should be going.” 

“Stay. A bit longer,” Lupin consulted his watch, “you technically have 20 minutes left of your detention.” 

Hermione’s blush crept up her neck, “okay, but we might have to keep it to just… this, tonight. If that’s okay?” 

“First, you don’t need to ask if it’s okay. You don’t ever have to ask or explain what limits you want with your body. Second, I already know. It doesn’t bother me the way you’re thinking.” Lupin kissed her neck. 

“That is so gross.” Hermione let out a breathy laugh, “what do you mean it doesn’t bother you. You don’t mean you would actually…want to…do stuff while I was, god this is embarrassing, on my period?” 

“You really have to stop comparing me to all the other boys you know. I told you I’m just a man. Beyond that, I’m a werewolf.” Lupin fixed her with a look wondering if he would have to explain that he would want to taste all of her. 

“Ginny said something about needing a tampon and George looked like he was going to throw up. Come to think of it Bill and Charlie didn’t even flinch. Huh. If it’s all the same I’m going to have to say no to that adventure for now.” 

The two stopped and looked at each other before collapsing into the other and laughing hard. Their shared friends bringing them joy in a private moment they wouldn’t tell them about. Hermione leaned back to push Lupin’s hair off his face and look into the joy sparking behind his eyes. 

“Up you get then. Before I keep you for myself for the rest of time.” Lupin kissed her quickly before helping her stand. 

“Have I given you the impression I want anything else?” It was a flippant response from the girl who was adjusting her clothes, but when Hermione looked back at Professor Lupin she didn’t know the look in his eyes. 

Hermione made her way to the door and let herself linger as the two exchanged kisses for several minutes. With a final goodbye she ran off to the common room. 

“‘Mione! How was it?” Ron asked around his new Honeyduke’s purchases. 

“Oh, you know it was Professor Lupin so it was fine. He let me reorganize his books. His office is kind of in a state…” Hermione sat down with her friends smiling at the offered sugar quill from Harry. 

“Next Saturday to right? Apparently, there’s no Quidditch this year because of the tournament so they’re letting more Hogsmeade weekends.” Harry looked put out and judging from Ginny’s face she wasn’t in a better way. 

“That makes me feel better. No, sorry, not that there isn’t quidditch just that Pansy won’t miss much.” 

“Harry told me what happen. Honestly, Hermione, you can’t possibly care after what she did and the things she says about Professor Lupin-“ Ginny’s temper was working itself up, “I’m jealous you guys actually get to have him teach you. Moody is a deranged psycho.” 

“Something isn’t right there, but Neville said today that he isn’t all bad.” Ron offered up. 

Hermione left the conversation exhausted from the nights activities and trying to think of why out of everyone Neville would be okay with Moody.

While everyone else complained the month was dragging on waiting for the tournament to start Hermione couldn’t believe she was already leaving another Wednesday night of potion brewing with Snape. She had finally told her friends about staying on those nights for extra lessons which, just as she expected, was met with questions of why. She loudly claimed that some people enjoyed learning for their own knowledge and perhaps Ronald shouldn’t make it so obvious he was worried her extracurriculars would cut into his homework time. She could have sworn she saw the corner of Snape’s mouth twitch up. 

Already she was walking up the stairs to Professor Lupin’s office to continue the efforts to help him organize and clean. Four days out from the full moon she knew he would be feeling okay, but as the weekend went on that would change. He had at least been given fresh potion this month and she could tell yesterday in class that his spirits were much improved. 

“Professor?” She called out to the empty room. 

Lupin popped his head out from his place behind the desk, “hello, Miss Granger. Saturday night already?” 

“What are you doing, Sir?” 

“Defense tactics for the seventh years.” 

“Laying on the ground is a defense tactic?” Hermione smiled sweetly at him. 

“Ha. Ha. Can be. Wands at the ready, always.” Lupin stood and sat down at his desk chair. Hermione moved to stand in front of him thumbing through some papers he had scattered around the desk. His office wasn’t nearly in as bad a shape as it was last week, but his naturally untidying ways had caused a bit of a setback in her efforts. Before she could stop herself she picked up a letter he had and began reading it. 

October 13th 

Remus, 

I hope the school year is going alright. I have to admit I do miss it sometimes. 

I must also admit that I told myself I wouldn’t write. I would wait to see if you wrote to me, but I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to know if you were thinking of me. The thing is I can’t stop thinking of you. 

“Hermione, please don’t read that.” Lupin’s soft voice called out for her. She could see his hand reach out to take the parchment, but she took a step back. 

Please tell me I’m not going mad. Spending all summer with you… we shared something didn’t we, Remus? Those nights in your tent I can’t help but regret not being bolder. You felt it too? I think you did. 

Kingsley is already talking about recalling you or at least asking you to come back during the summer holidays again. Remus, I desperately want to talk to you. Please write me back or let me know if I can meet you in Hogsmeade. Anytime. I’ll get a room. 

Yours, 

Dora 

Hermione placed the letter back down on his desk and turned to the coffee table gathering a few of the books there and walking to the bookshelves to re-home them. 

“Please say something.” 

Hermione’s voice was scratchy and even with an effort to clear her throat the words still felt thick coming out, “There’s nothing to say.” 

She heard the desk chair push back against the stone floor and felt Lupin’s warm hands on her hips turning her around to face him. They stared at each other for only a minute before he spoke again. 

“I haven’t written her. Hermione, I swear I didn’t think I did anything over the summer to give her the impression that this,” he pointed to the letter on his desk, “was warranted. I knew she was friendly, but I just thought she was overly familiar.” 

“But that’s not true is it?” Hermione hated how small her voice was, “She was talking about it on the platform with Mrs. Weasley. After you got on the train. She said the whole summer was intense. That she spent all that time in your tent. Which I already knew. That you guys almost kissed.” 

“That was six weeks ago why didn’t you say anything?” Lupin searched her eyes, but she avoided the green orbs. 

“I was hoping that she had misinterpreted the situation. I guess she didn’t.”

“I don’t know what to say. Nothing happened. I don’t want anything to happen. Perhaps…shit, maybe yeah I allowed her to get too close. But I promise you I never responded to her.” 

“Why did you keep the letter then?” 

“Please look around. Keeping the letter is less about sentimentality and more about my apparent inability to throw anything away.” Lupin looped his arms around her and tried to get her to smile. 

Hermione smiled up at him and kissed his cheek before removing herself slowly from his arms and getting to work on his office. Even though they had technically talked about the letter it was obvious that the weight of it hung in the air. Hermione worked in silence for three hours. So different than the banter they held last week, but she reasoned that she was able to get more done. Professor Lupin was meant to be grading papers, but Hermione could feel his eyes on her walking around his office or throwing things aways. At the end of the three hours she had another stack of books to go to his study, a stack of papers for him to go through, and stack of papers she assumed he wanted to keep. His office looked pristine. Only his desk was cluttered with work to be done. Hermione moved to find more work to do perhaps in the classroom. 

“It’s been three hours. How about a cup of tea?” Lupin stood gesturing towards the door that would lead to his chambers. 

“I’m okay, Professor. I’m really just exhausted. If that’s all may I go?” Hermione dug her toe into the ground refusing to look at him. 

“Hermione, please, the letter-“

“It’s not that. I’m really just…I’m tired from this.” Hermione had still managed to keep it together, but looking into Lupin’s worried face nearly broke her and she needed to get out of there. 

“Yes, Miss. Granger. You’re excused for the evening. Thank you for your hard work.” Lupin sat down clearly frustrated, but still kind to her. 

“Thank you, Sir.” Hermione grabbed her bag from its place on the stair landing and made her way quickly down the stairs and exited the classroom practically running back to the Gryfinndor tower. 

That night Hermione couldn’t sleep. At two am she was still tossing and turning after laying in bed for hours. She attempted to read and work on homework, but nothing could keep her mind off the letter and the fact that she read it. 

Throwing off the covers she made her way out of her room and quietly made her way to the fourth year boys dormitory. All the boys were asleep and didn’t seem to even notice that someone had entered their room and was rummaging through one of their trunks. After grabbing the invisibility cloak and map Hermione left the tower and walked to the DADA hall. 

Completely distracted she narrowly missed Filch roaming the hallways. She got behind the tapestry and on a hunch tried his door. It was unlocked and she didn’t feel any wards when she went in. She walked straight to his bed where her footsteps faltered taking in the glass tumbler of firewhiskey that looked poured, but barely touched. Lupin was asleep in navy cotton trouser and a worn grey t-shirt that had lifted up slightly in his sleep. 

Hermione threw the invisibility cloak and map on the chair in the corner and carefully made her way into his bed. She laid on her side staring at the rise and fall of his chest. She closed her eyes and tried to let sleep take her, but it was seconds before she felt the mattress shift and his arm pull her body towards his. His scent took her over. He must have just showered because his normal forest and book scent was mixed with the clean soap smell and mint toothpaste. 

“What time is it?” Lupin mumbled into her hair. 

“Two am.” Hermione burrowed into his chest trying to press her body as close to his as possible, “Are you attracted to her?” 

“Hermione…” He sighed out her name while letting her go and rolling over on his back. 

“You kept the letter. You could have just as easily thrown it away, but you kept it. Were you just planning on never responding.” She stared at his profile. “You were, weren’t you? You were going to respond?” 

“I had considered it.” Lupin ran his hands over his face. “Only to tell her to that I’m not interested in her that way.”

“Are you attracted to her?” 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“The truth.” Hermione also rolled over on her back. They both laid there staring up at the ceiling in the dark. Before the moon Lupin preferred his room to be as dark as possible. The light hurt his eyes. 

“I won’t say I wasn’t attracted to her because I was. She’s an attractive woman-“

“Okay.” Hermione moved to get up, but his arm across her stomach stopped her. 

“Love, please. You asked, I’m answering. I’m not attracted to her because she’s not you. I don’t know what I did that made her think we shared something over the summer-“

“She said you almost kissed her. That you were going to kiss her in the tent. You didn’t see her on the platform. She basically blamed me! Said I was a ‘distraction’” Hermione turned to look at him her voice rising at his lack of understanding. 

“I don’t know why she thinks that. I’m telling you there wasn’t a moment for me that I wanted to kiss her.” Lupin started getting just as frustrated. Their frustration forced them to get closer on the bed. 

“She’s older.” Hermione’s voice was small in the space between them, “You wouldn’t be afraid to…to touch her. You wouldn’t have to wait or deny her.” 

Lupin studied her face. He wasn’t responding which somehow made Hermione more nervous. For several minutes that only sound in the room was the deep breathing coming from the still bodies. 

“Not having sex with you isn’t me trying to deny you just to deny you, Hermione.” 

Hermione leaned forward and kissed his lips hard. He returned her kiss with equal passion, but pushed her off him anyway. 

“This is torture, Remus. I… I don’t know how much longer I can keep feeling not totally wanted. Especially now that I know you have other options you can so easily entertain.” Hermione continued to whisper in the dark. Her voice thick again with unshed tears. 

“Please, hear me. I’m not entertaining other options. Maybe you don’t understand because you haven’t had it happen, but you can be attracted to someone and not be interested in them. Well, what about you and Fred?”

“Fred? I don’t… I’m not attracted to him. I don’t feel the same way with him as I do you. When he kissed me-“

“I’m sorry when he what?” Lupin sat up to look at her. 

“Last year, after the Quidditch Cup. We were getting more drinks. He was drunk and kissed me in the corridor. It was nothing. I felt nothing.” Hermione also sat up to face him.

“And he never brought it up again? That was it. Laughed it off as a drunken mistake?” 

“No, I mean over the summer we…wait how are we talking about me right now? Fred isn’t writing me letters declaring his feelings for me. Yes, we talked about our interactions. Fred and I just understand each other. He doesn’t tease me like the others. I don’t know.” 

Hermione had ran out of steam by the time she got to the end of her rant. She and Lupin fell back into silence. Lupin, again, broke it first. 

“I don’t want Tonks. Do you want Fred,” Hermione’s face made Lupin’s smirk, “okay then. I’m sorry I kept the letter. I’ll write her back and tell her I don’t feel the same.” 

“Okay.” Hermione settled back on the bed again and allowed Lupin to take her in his arms. She had her head on his chest when he spoke again. 

“Hermione. We need to talk.” Hermione closed her eyes and felt his chest rumble as he spoke. She didn’t look up at him. 

“How can I believe you see this, whatever we’re calling it, as real if I can’t help the repeating thought of if you were with someone like Tonks you wouldn’t hold back. And please don’t bring up my purity again-“

“It’s a big deal. You think it isn’t, but every time you want to take that step it’s in the moment.” 

“We’re not in the moment now,” She looked up at him, “I want to feel close to you.” 

“I don’t want to give you the impression that to be close to someone you have to have sex with them.”

“So you don’t think we’re close in the other ways that count?” Hermione stopped rubbing her hand along his arm. It felt like her heart had stopped beating. How did this conversation go so left? 

“We are. I don’t think I’ve ever told someone as much as I’ve told you. I don’t allow people to see me react while talking about Greyback.” He let out a light laugh, but there wasn’t any humor in what he was saying. 

“How did we get here?” The whispered question was asked into his chest. 

“It’s not perfect all the time. Sneaky around and train sex has been amazing, but problems come up. You didn’t like the letter and you didn’t like the way I responded to it. You didn’t think you had to tell me about Fred Weasley putting his hands on you. We’re still figuring out the other. I know this, I can’t get enough of you. In any way.” 

“I’m going to stay here tonight.” 

They laid there silently with Lupin running his hand through her hair. She continued to breathe in his scent until her eye lids grew heavy. The next morning, Hermione woke up in the same position. The sunlight couldn’t get through the dark curtains Lupin had installed. Her stirring had brought Lupin out of his slumber. 

“Morning.” She looked up at him. 

“Morning.” He mumbled out without opening his eyes. 

“How are you feeling about everything from last night?” 

Lupin paused for a second before letting out a breath, “I feel like nothing really got resolved and I think we might have to live with that.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Fred.” 

“It’s fine. I get it. You didn’t think it was big deal, but Hermione, I didn’t think the letter from Tonks was a big deal. Does that make sense?” Lupin took up running his fingers through her hair again. 

“Yes, it does. But I kind of hear you saying you want to hear more details about my life I have to tell you that can be really boring.” Hermione nuzzled into his chest while laughing to lighten the tension. 

“I’ve said it before I want to hear about all of that stuff. I’ll tell you about all the women who write me love letters.” 

“Shut up.” Hermione leaned up to swat at place her head was just resting. Deftly, Lupin grabbed her wrist and pulled her down for a kiss. 

Hermione eagerly granted him entrance to her mouth as she felt his tongue slowly take hers into his with a gentle massage. She could feel her body come to life and the little nips his teeth were delivery her bottom lip didn’t help. She threw her leg over his hips to straddle him and without shame began to grind her hips down on him feeling him stiffen between her. 

Her cotton shorts left very little in the way of a barrier as Lupin easily pushed them to the side and ran his fingers through her slick folds. 

“Fuck, Pet, do you want to slow down? I didn’t mean-“ 

“Keep going, please.” Hermione leaned back down to kiss him as her hands found a place on his chest. Feeling steady in her spot Lupin was able to use both hands on her. 

The hand that had found its way under her shorts continued to tease her folds gathering wetness on his fingers. He brought his other hand to the waist band and dipped them down so his fingers met. Only then did he allow his long fingers to swirl her clit with increasing pressure. Hermione, still grinding on top of him, dropped her head to his forehead to purr out her pleasure. Her hair was a curtain around him. 

She exhaled loudly when she felt one finger enter as she moved up and down and she bit down on her lip when she felt the second one. Lupin moved them up and down feeling every centimeter of her insides. 

“That’s right, Pet. Ride my fingers.” He was whispering up at her. Hermione nodded her head as she doubled her efforts and clenched her thighs to move up and down, “take that lip out. I want to hear you. Yeah, there you go, so good for me.” 

Hermione released her lip and let out a low moan as Lupin applied more pressure to her aching nub. He was making the tight circles she liked and she knew she wasn’t going to last much longer. Bringing her head back down to rest of his she let her arms circle his neck. She couldn’t remember feeling so close to him. She couldn’t talk. Her moans and pants increased the faster she rode his fingers as it sounded like she begged for more. 

Just as she put her hands in his hair and dragged her lips back to his she felt the tightening happen and all of a sudden a release that took her by surprise. Later, she would be embarrassed by how loudly she cried out, but in the moment she could feel her hips jerking forward chasing after his fingers and that feeling only Professor Lupin could give her. 

Coming down, Hermione kissed him deeply. She could feel how wet her shorts were and she whined when he removed his hands from the insides. With a flick of his wrist they were dried and slightly more comfortable. She dismounted from her favorite seat and sat on her knees ready to return the pleasure she had just received when Lupin’s hand stopped her. 

“Not today, Pet.” His eyes were dark and his voice was hoarse with desire. Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off, “I’m feeling a bit out of sorts. Pent up if you will. If you start I won’t be able to stop and I will lose control.” 

“That’s okay.” Hermione smiled shyly at him and tried again, but again, he stopped her. 

“I don’t mean I’ll lose control and fuck you love,” Hermione took in a sharp breath at that and instantly felt her shorts become ruined again, “I mean I will fuck you in a way that wouldn’t be right. Not for your first time.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Hermione, logically, knew he was right, but it didn’t stop her from having her mind wonder anyway. She leaned in to kiss him. “Can you dry my shorts again?” 

He chortled at that, but obliged anyway. Casting a tempus charm they saw that it was ten in the morning. Hermione was in her pajamas so she would have to sneak back to the tower which would not be easy. Again, Lupin laid as many kisses on her before she left saying that he would see her when he could after the moon.

The days passed quickly and finally it was the week the other schools would be arriving for the Tournament. 

That Wednesday Professor Snape seemed to be in more of a foul mood than usual. He had already taken thirty points from Gryfinndor and given out detention to Ron and Neville for what Hermione could only assume was breathing. He had forced them all to brew their own wit-sharpening potions instead of the normal partners he allowed. 

Hermione had sat up across the aisle from Malfoy and had been trying to catch his eye since the beginning of class. With ten minutes left she tried to get his attention silently. He refused to look at her and with every passing minute it was driving her more and more insane. In a last ditch effort to get him to acknowledge her she knocked off her armadillo bile so it would fall on the floor and on his school bag. His body didn’t move, but she saw his grey eyes move down where the bile was eating at the fabric of his school bag. Professor Snape’s robes billowed around them as he waved his hand to vanish the potion. 

“Detention Miss Granger.” His voice drawled out. 

“Yes, Sir.” Hermione bottled her potion and went to place it on his desk. Ensuring its safety she went back to her desk and cleaned her area not trying to look at Malfoy again. 

Hermione sat in her seat and waited for the rest of the class to pack up and leave so she could approach Snape about her punishment. It felt like everyone was taking their time except for Malfoy who was first out the door. She sat in silence watching as he placed phials of potion to the side marking T’s in his grade book without even opening them. She raised her lips in a smirk when he made a pained expression at Seamus’s phial and actually laughed out loud as he closed his eyes and let out an exhausted sigh at Neville’s. 

“Something amusing, Miss Granger?” Snape’s black eyes cut to her.

“Nothing, Sir. Just…feeling sympathy for you.” 

She tried to her best to keep her laughter under control, but it was a failed attempt. She attempted to apologize between breathes, but he waved her off. 

“Do you intent to serve detention now or after dinner?” Snape asked picking up another phial. 

Hermione actually felt struck dumb by being asked a question that sounded like he wanted a real answer, “Oh, I thought now? Maybe, I can do whatever you want.” 

“Whatever I want? I’m reminisce to allow you to work on the potion as that giving you something you want isn’t the point of detention. However, I find myself rather exhausted from your class today. You can start the next steps of cutting all the ingredients that will need to be added at sundown tonight and pickled for next week. It’s four ingredients and they each need to be cut differently. Can you handle it?” 

Hermione swallowed and took a breath in trying not react to his condescending tone. 

“Yes, Sir. I think so. I will ask if I need help.” Hermione gathered all the necessary tools and bottles and plants. Of course, she had to go to the greenhouses to pick three of the four. Snape explained on her way out that she could used dried ingredients, but he assumes she would want the freshest potion. She tried to not read into that too much. 

It took her almost three hours to get to the greenhouses and back and chop everything exactly how the books called for it. She ended up measuring some of her cuts beforehand just in case. Snape raised his eyebrow at her retrieval of a measuring stick, but raised both eyebrows in approval when he realized what she was doing. 

“Sir, I’ve finished. Sundown is in twenty minutes. Is it okay if I stay and add them or watch you do it?” Hermione asked walking to the front of his desk. 

“You’ll miss dinner.” He didn’t look at her. 

“It’s one meal. I think I’ll survive.” Hermione shuffled on her feet. 

Snape let out an overdramatic sigh, “Miss Granger, I hope that isn’t your way of alluding to you be bullied for something as asinine as your weight.” 

“You think I could be bullied for my weight? You think there’s something wrong with my weight?” Hermione’s eyes had gone wide at the insinuation that her Potions Master wouldn’t be surprised at her school bullies calling her fat. 

Snape let out another exhausted sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I truly hate teaching teenagers.” 

Snape stood from his desk and went into his private office and came back to sit at his desk again. A house elf appeared at his desk bowing deeply asking ‘Master Snape’ what he would like. Hermione openly snorted and rolled her eyes. 

“We’ll be in need of dinner. I think I’ll have-“

“Whatever you already made is fine for us.” Hermione cut off her professor boldly. The house elf shifted their eyes between the two clearly uncomfortable. Snape stared at her. 

“We be having cottage pie.” The house elf squeaked out. 

“Yes, that’s fine.” Snape didn’t take his eyes off Hermione. The house elf vanished in a flash. “Was that wholly necessary?”

“They have feelings. It’s slavery and it’s disgusting.” Hermione’s tone was biting and she didn’t care that Snape was the wrong Professor to express herself to like this. 

“Okay.” He grunted out and returned to his work going back to ignoring her. 

The elf arrived back within minutes to deliver their food bringing pumpkin juice and water. It was already plated and Snape pushed Hermione’s towards her with a challenging look. With an eye roll she grabbed a seat and sat down in front of his desk looking at him daring him to say anything. He looked at her with a blank expression before picking up a magazine, Potions Monthly, and eating his food. Towards the end of his meal he broke the silence. 

“Are you going to explain why you decided to destroy Mr. Malfoy’s possessions?” Snape stared hard into her eyes. 

“He’s been ignoring me.” She shrugged her shoulders taking a final bite. 

“Of all the things you could’ve said-“ Snape looked shocked by the admission. 

“He hasn’t spoken to me since the Cup. I saw him there. It’s unnerving.” 

“And did something happen between you two at the Cup that would warrant his avoidance of you?” 

The two stared at each other weighing the question and potential answer and the trustworthiness of the other. 

“No.” They both knew she was lying. Hermione took in a delicate breath and looked down to her lap, “Professor Snape, do you think-“

“Stop, Miss Granger.” 

“I just mean to ask-“

“I know what you’re asking. The answer is to stop,” he ignored her and the hurt look on her face, “at this point you must know who Malfoy is. You cannot save him.” 

“So I’ve been told.” Hermione muttered to her lap. She placed her plate and cup back on the serving tray set up by the desk and returned to the lab to finish her task for the Wolfsbane potion. It took about an hour and when she turned to exit Professor Snape was standing in the doorway. Silently he approached the tabletop and review her work nodding his head in approval. Hermione grabbed her bag and left the lab and made for the classroom exit. 

“Hermione.” 

The use of her first name almost made her lose her footing. She turned quickly around to see him standing in the middle of the classroom. He must have followed right behind her. 

“I do hope you will take my advice. I know you have been called ‘exceedingly kind’ and while that may be true it can be seen as wildly meddlesome. You don’t know how dark a path Draco walks. Trust when I say you are not equipped to walk it with him. Goodnight.” 

Professor Snape left very little room for argument as he turned and went back into the private lab and slammed the door shut. Hermione’s mouth was still open to speak as she made her way out of the classroom. 

On her way up from the dungeons lost in thought she almost didn’t see the platinum head boy walking down the stairs to his common room. She didn’t look at him and she didn’t speak. She did let her hand brush against his. 

That night there was a chill in the dorm room and Hermione told herself she needed to sleep in a certain grey and green jumper.

It seemed the students couldn’t be calmed. Dumbledore dismissed classes on Halloween for the Champion picking ceremony and celebration and the day after for school bonding. 

Sunday morning the students left lunch to watch the large ship pull into the Black Lake and dock letting off the Durmstrang seventh years. At the same time a deceptively small blue carriage pulled by what looked like horses flew in from the sky letting out older girls dressed all in powder blue robes. Mostly blonde, all gorgeous. 

“Rumor has it most of the girls at Beauxbatons have Veela blood.” Ginny grumbled from Hermione’s side. Hermione saw the way Ginny glanced at Harry staring at the girls making their way out of the carriage. 

For some reason the schools had stayed separated until dinner. At that point, all of the Hogwarts students had been seated and Barty Crouch Sr. took the dais with Dumbledore and the other teachers. Crouch gave the students the same speech that he had already given the other schools. There was an uproar about only students seventeen and older being able to participate. When Dumbledore revealed the trophy it seemed to quiet the room again. 

At that point Dumbledore introduced the ‘beautiful women’ of Beauxbatons. The group of girls came prancing in half dancing half trotting with a younger girl doing some type of gymnastics. Their headmistress followed behind them and she was the tallest woman Hermione had ever seen. One look at the professor’s table told her Hagrid was smitten. Hermione couldn’t help, but smile at that. A smile that quickly faded when she looked to her left and saw that absolute crushed look on Ginny’s face at the reaction Harry was having to the girls. Both boys, all the boys in the Hall, were gawking. Hermione turned to Ginny and rolled her eyes in commiseration, but put her hand on the redheads thigh in comfort anyway. 

A table had been place between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw that the girls sat at and Madam Maxime took a seat at the Dais between Professor Snape and Professor Lupin. The former giving her a curt nod and the latter giving her his classic sweet smile. 

When the Hall calmed down again and the whistles stopped Dumbledore introduced the men from Durmstrang and their Headmaster Igor Karkaroff. If the boys were bad the girls of Hogwarts were just as terrible. The tone that came out of the girls mouth was so high pitched Hermione worried the glass ceiling would crack. 

“Oh my god it’s him. Victor Krum.” Ron whimpered out. He sounded insane. 

He most have been loud enough because the Quidditch player looked over, but seemed to stare right through him. Hermione eyes met his and it seemed that he kept contact as he walked toward the front. Hermione didn’t have time to think about it too much because all of a sudden a fire dragon took over the front of the Hall. She watched as Dumbledore and Karkaroff embraced as old friends and her eyes slid down the table. 

Professor Snape had never seemed so tense which was saying a lot. His knuckles had turned white as he gripped his dinner knife. Professor Lupin on the other hand looked sick with anger. It was enough to make Hermione pale. She had never seen him look so-

“Lupin look’s pissed.” Harry leaned toward Hermione to mumble out the statement. 

“I was just thinking the same thing.” Hermione didn’t take her eyes off the table. 

“You don’t know why?” Ron was bugged eye looking between them and Karkaroff, “Karkaroff is a Death Eater.”

“What?” Harry and Hermione almost shouted at the same time. Hermione looked up again and her eyes met Lupin’s who shook his head, but she set her mouth in a straight line and widen her eyes conveying her own message. 

“He was a Death Eater. High up allegedly. He got arrested and turned on a bunch of people the story goes. After he got out he fled to Durmstrang.” Ron breathed it out trying to keep quiet. 

“And they let him become Headmaster?” Hermione’s full attention was on Ron now. 

“Hermione, even I know that. Durmstrang has…a looser policy on the dark art. Rumor has it that instead of Defense Against the Dark Arts it’s just called the Dark Arts. Last year, I could have sworn I heard Malfoy make a comment to Nott about how his Father had entertained the idea of sending him there.” Harry said. 

The three looked at each other before leaning back in a huff. If Karkaroff was a Death Eater it would explain why each of her teachers gave them the reception they did. 

Dumbledore gave a speech about international cooperation and making friends. The Hall was filled with chatter and some of the Durmstrang boys had already begun talking to a few of the seventh and sixth year Slytherin girls that they were sat across from. As they were dismissed Hermione chanced a glance up at the staff table again and saw Lupin looking over the crowded Hall. He met Hermione’s eye for a split second, but enough to shake his head. He wanted to be alone tonight. 

The trio met up with their friends in the common room and hung out all night until McGonagall walked in and looked at the twins and walked out. After that the students quickly dispersed to their dorm rooms. 

“Did you see those boys. Or should I say men? My god.” Lavender was swooning in their room while rummaging through her trunk. “I’m going to have write home to my mom and ask for better clothes.” 

“Just say trollop clothes.” Parvati giggled from her bed. “You think they would go for fourth years?”

“Why not? It’s only four years or even three in Hermione’s case. Hello, earth to Hermione.” Lavender called for her. 

“Sorry. Did you guys know Karkaroff use to be a Death Eater?” Hermione looked between her roommates. 

Parvati and Lavender exchanged a look that seemed to be a silent conversation between the best friends. Parvati spoke first. 

“No,” she took a breath, “we didn’t know. But, Hermione, it’s not that unbelievable.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, Durmstrang has a reputation. Not just for the Dark Arts, but for not letting in muggleborns.” Lavender spoke gently, “to be honest it’s more surprising that Dumbledore is openly embracing him than him being a death eater.”

“Yeah…yeah. Well at least we got one thing out of it; we know of one more person in this world who gets under Snape’s skin.” Hermione let out a laughter that she desperately needed. 

“Did you see his face? I didn’t think the bat could be any paler.” Parvati joined in on the giggle.

The next day it seemed the three schools were too shy to mingle with each other. The trio stuck together talking over theories of why Dumbledore would allow someone with such a sordid past into Hogwarts. Just after lunch Hermione broke away and tried to get behind the tapestry, but Lupin had locked down the wards. She could have set off an alarm, but she knew if he wanted to see her he would have left them open. 

At five o’clock Lavender and Parvati grabbed Hermione from the common room to begin getting ready for dinner and the, what McGonagall called, social. Hermione wasn’t sure what they were suppose to get ready for as they were to wear their robes. However, it was Halloween and she supposed the holiday called for some type of celebration. Ginny joined them right before they went down. 

The air in the Hall was stilted. Hermione immediately looked for Lupin who was sitting like a statue except for his eyes that kept darting to Karkaroff who still sat beside him. The former was attempting to speak with Snape who was barely acknowledging his existence. The students didn’t seem to be as lively as they were the night before as everyone was anxious about who would be picked. 

After dinner Barty Crouch Sr. once again took the stage with other heads of schools. All the students seemed to hold their breath as the first name came out. 

“Fluer Delacour!” 

“Victor Krum!” 

“Cedric Diggory!” 

Just as Cedric had gone through the door the Tournament trophy exploded in a haze of blue light that looked like lightening and flames. Dumbledore actually shielded his eyes before catching the next name. 

Hermione instantly knew someone had charmed the trophy to make Harry a champion. As Harry walked through the door the students of Hogwarts had thrown verbal abuse at him from every table. The other two schools sat in silence as their Heads ran behind the door looking furious. Looking across the table Hermione was taken aback to see Ron’s face matching the same emotion. 

“Ron? What’s wrong?” Hermione hissed at him.

He turned to look at her and set his anger on her, “Did you know he was putting his name in?” 

“He didn’t. How could he have?” 

“Well, he obviously did. The one year he could have been in the background-“ Ron was seething.

“What are you talking about? The twins tried and couldn’t do it. How would Harry have done it. Now stop and think. This has to have to do with the Cup. It’s not a coincidence.” Hermione tried to speak logically, but Ron was lost in his head. 

“He should have told me.” 

“What the…oh my god.” Hermione turned to Ginny who was open mouth staring at her brother while shaking her head. 

Professor McGonagall came back in the Hall and started directing the students to get up so they could clear the tables and begin the social. It was incredibly awkward as people kept coming up to Hermione asking if she knew what was going on with Harry. She didn’t. Her answer didn’t change. No matter what she did Ron refused to stop sulking in the corner. Harry didn’t return at all. 

Slowly the teachers started filtering back in. Professor Snape’s face was unreadable, but Professor McGonagall kept shooting him dark glances. Karkaroff was glaring at Moody from across the Hall as his own students interrogated him relentlessly. Fleur and Victor came back in as well as Cedric to much applause. Hermione made her way over to the drink table having broken from the uninterrupted chatter from Lavender and Parvati about which boys they thought were cutest. 

Just as she was about to grab the ladle a large hand with thick stubby fingers grabbed it out from under her. It lifted it quickly and poured a drink that was thrusted towards her. Hermione lifted her eyes and met the brown eyes of Victor Krum. 

“Thank you.” Hermione smiled at him. He didn’t say anything just turned and walked back to his Headmaster who was staring at the witch. 

Hermione spotted Ron who had cornered Professor Lupin and was angrily spitting questions at him. 

“He must have told you he was going to do something.” Ron was on the verge of shouting and making a fool of himself. 

Always the gentle force Lupin remained patient, “Ron, I assure you I don’t think Harry knew anything about this.”

“Exactly what I told him, Professor.” Hermione stood next to Ron, “Ronald, come off it. You can’t really believe this?” 

Ron didn’t say anything, but his face grew redder by the second. He made some time of tantrum noise and stomped off out of the Hall. Lupin sighed deeply and ran his hand through his hair clearly exhausted by the events from the last thirty-six hours. 

“You should go after him.”

Hermione snorted, “No way. I’m not standing on the track that is the Ron Weasley illogical train.” 

Hermione was rewarded with a small chuckle from her DADA professor. She made a show of turning back towards the drink table they were standing next to and filling her cup even though it was halfway full. 

“Will your wards be down tonight?” She whispered taking a sip. 

“Yes.” 

She turned back to him and smiled sweetly, “Have a goodnight Professor Lupin.” 

Hermione made her way over to Lavender and Parvati who asked what Lupin said. They seemed just as put out that it seems Harry was setup as well. Hermione talked with the girls for another hour or so. In that time she watched as several girls approached Victor Krum as well as Professor Lupin. A couple of the Beauxbaton girls got handsy with him which Lavender cracked up at how uncomfortable he was prompting her to ask if he ever got laid. Hermione changed the subject quickly. 

Around nine Hermione told the girls she was going to try and find Ron and Harry. And she did try and find them. Found them not speaking to each other in their room with the curtains closed around their beds. Ron refused to speak to her. Harry said he couldn’t talk about it anymore that night. She let the curtains fall back in place and grabbed the map off his nightstand. It looked like everyone was still in the Hall so her path to the DADA hall was clear. 

Just as he said Lupin’s wards were down, but according to the map he was still in the Hall. Hermione was able to get into his chambers without problems. She didn’t know how long he would be so she picked a fiction book off his shelves and made her way to the bathroom. While the bathtub filled Hermione made an impulsive decision and found herself in Lupin’s liquor cabinet pouring herself a finger amount of fire whiskey in one of his glass tumblers. 

An hour and half later this is how Lupin found her. In the bathtub covered in bubbles that smelled like vanilla and honey with her hair piled on top her head. She was almost a third of the way through the book and she was holding on to the tumbler that had half the amount it had. She didn’t notice that the man had leaned against the door frame. 

“Miss. Granger have you snuck into my liquor?” Lupin’s voice was low. 

Hermione jumped slightly and squeaked just a bit out of fright at the interruption. 

“How long have you been there?” 

“Who can say? Just admiring the view.” 

Lupin came over to sit on the side of the tub, “will you be much longer? You can take the time you need.” 

“Kiss.” She lifted her face up towards him and he bent down to softly placed his lips on hers, “I’m about to get out and get in the shower.”

“A shower after the bath?” 

“You can’t just sit in the hot bath and then not wash it off. Join me?” Hermione blushed at her boldness, but felt better when he looked down at her and nodded. 

She watched as Lupin stood up, walking out to presumably take off his cardigan, shoes, and socks. He came back in with his Oxford untucked and his belt already off. 

Hermione offered up the tumbler which Lupin took as she set the book down, “Are you going to tell me what happen when you all went in the back?” 

Lupin tipped the glass towards her and smiled as she scrunched her nose up in disgust. He downed it in one go and put it on the sink. He rubbed his chin roughly turning over her question in his head. Clearly, he knew he was about to break confidence by telling her. 

“McGonagall wanted to break the rules to get Harry out. Snape advocated to keep him in-“

“What? I know Snape dislikes Harry, but God-“

“Moody accused Karkaroff of being a dark wizard. Practically said he was the one who set Harry up. Dumbledore jumped down his throat. Declared it would be best for Harry to stay in. The whole thing was basically a shit show.” Lupin shook his head letting his shoulders slump. 

“So that’s just it? Harry has to participate? People die in this tournament. Die-“

“I know that, Hermione.” Lupin bit out. He was frustrated and Hermione knew he felt responsible for Harry, “If Sirius finds out that I let this happen…”

“He won’t blame you,” Lupin scoffed, “He won’t, Sir. He would be crazy to.” 

“You’ve met him.” Lupin turned around and leaned backwards on the sink staring at the witch in the tub. 

Hermione took the opportunity of having his attention to slowly stand up. She could feel the bubbles on her body slowly begin sliding down from her shoulders to where her calves were still emerged in the water. Hermione listened as he took in a sharp breath through his teeth and let it out with a deep growl through his nose. 

Hermione watched him watch the bubbles as they moved over her pert nipples that had gone hard from the cool air. One seemed to get stuck on the tip so she brought her finger up and tenderly swirl her nub letting the bubble transfer to her fingertip. With a small smile she brought her finger to her lips and blew it off. 

She stood there for another second letting the bubbles trail down her waist on to her hips and letting some of them melt into the thin hair at the apex of her thighs. She held her hand out towards him. 

“Can a girl get a hand out of here?” Hermione pressed her lips together in order to not laugh at how he jumped up from the sink to help her out of the tub. 

Once out Lupin reached behind him and turned on the shower to a decently warm temperature. Hermione’s small fingers were on his buttons working their way down and pushing the shirt off his shoulders. She put her hands at the bottom of his white t-shirt and pulled up kissing the middle of his chest as the shirt passed over his head. The goosebumps on his skin a lovely sight. 

Hermione moved her hands up to his hair and ran her fingers through his stands a few times and placed both hands on his face moving him to look at her. 

“I’m so glad you’re here. Now with Harry… I couldn’t imagine not having you here. Thank you for making me feel so safe.” Something flashed through Lupin’s eyes. Hermione pulled him down for a kiss. Even after almost a year of kissing him Hermione was breathless by how romantic and sweet this kiss was. 

He returned her kiss with equal passion as his hands weaved their way around her neck. One found a home in her hair pulling it down her back in soft curls. Her hands found their way to his trouser buttons making quick work of popping them and letting the zipper fall down on its own. She broke the kiss then and walked into the shower tilting her head at him smiling and making the water hotter. 

She watched as he took off his pants and walked slowly towards her frowning at how hot she had turned it. 

“I can turned it down.” She kissed his chest again. 

“We both know you’re going to keep me out here in the cold anyway.” He tilted her head up to kiss her mouth that had opened to protest his accusation. 

“I would not.”

“Woman, I got cruico and you still kept me out here.” Lupin was running his hands over her arms twirling his fingers in the hair that was falling down her back. 

Hermione opened her mouth to protest again, but shut it quickly biting her lip, “I did do that.” 

They both shared a laugh with Hermione letting her head fall against Lupin’s chest. When the laughter subsided Hermione dropped a few more kisses on the sparse hair in the plain of his chest. She found her way to one nipple and kissed it gently before running the flat of her tongue over it causing it to peak just slightly. Happy with her work she kissed her way over to the other one where she gave it the same treatment except she allowed her teeth to scrape the nipple once it harden. She smiled at his hiss of breath. 

Hermione kissed back to the middle of his chest and began working her way down. She had never taken so much time to kiss along his flat stomach and lick along the trail of hair that started below his navel. It had the same earthy taste that he smelled like, but something sweet that was giving her a heady feeling. She could see his hands doing that thing again where he wasn’t sure where to put them because he wanted to bury them in her hair, but didn’t want to push her. Looking up at him she grabbed each hand and kissed the inside of his wrists. 

Settling fully on her knees she tried to concealed her face at the discomfort of the stone biting in her skin. Lupin waved his hand cast a cushioning charm. Hermione smiled sweetly up at him before taking her small hand and wrapping it around the base of his erection. He had taken care to not let it touch her while they were kissing, but Hermione couldn’t help her labored breathing as she grew desperate to take it in her mouth. 

Gripping firmly she ran her hand up and down a few times earning herself an appreciative sigh. When her hand was at the base again she licked up the length following the vein with the flat of her tongue. She swirled it around the head tasting the tiny drops of pre-cum that were dripping out. Sloppily she took his cock in her mouth an inch before pulling back and taking another inch and pulling back. She continued this until she could feel the tip touching the back of her throat. Taking one of his hands and putting it on the back of head feeling his fingers tangle in her soaking wet hair.  

Hermione evened out her pace as she alternated between sucking gently and harshly soaking in his pants and hisses and deep groans. She worked her hand in circular motions at the base of his member where her mouth couldn’t reach even though she was determined to make that space as small as possible. She allowed herself to get lost in the feel of the silky smooth skin of his cock on her tongue and the intoxicating taste of his pre-cum running down her throat. 

She pulled her head all the way back and opened her eyes, ignoring the water spraying in her face, and sucked on the tip until he looked down at her locking eyes on him. Once he was looking at her she opened her mouth so he could watch her swirl her tongue around before she took him whole again sucking him so hard her cheeks hollowed out. She let out a few gags that seemed to turn Lupin on more as he pushed his hips into her mouth. He pulled back harshly causing Hermione to almost fall forward before she caught herself on his thighs. 

“What’s wrong?” She panted out. 

“Sorry, I don’t want to hurt you.” He was breathing just as hard. 

“Fuck, Professor. Will you please just take what you want? You’re killing my mood.” Hermione threw up a lopsided grin as she coaxed him back towards her. She quickly took him back in her mouth staring up at him the whole time. 

His face was a mixture of worry and concentration, but slowly with her efforts it fell back into the slacken mask of pleasure she loved. His hips slowly began to move forward and push into Hermione’s mouth. She hummed her approval giving him permission to put his hands in her hair and push her head in time with his thrust. She could tell that he wanted to go faster, but he wouldn’t. So she began moving her head faster up and down while sucking harder. 

“Fuck, Hermione. Pet, I can’t…Your perfect mouth. You’re going to make me cum,” she hummed her approval again, “fuck. fuck. Take my cum, Pet.” 

Hermione gagged once more which seemed to push him over and he shot his hot load down the back of her throat. Being so deep she was able to swallow it all. She sat back on her ankles looking up at him licking her lips very pleased with herself. Lupin had put one hand against the stone wall as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Hermione, damn. If I didn’t know any better I would say you’re trying to kill me.” Lupin put his hands out helping her up. 

“Now if I did that whose desk would I lay on to get my cunt licked?” Hermione used her best innocent smile on him. 

“Pet, you know I can’t handle when you talk like that.” Hermione laugh loudly as he picked her up and braced her against the stone wall. She gasped loudly at the feel of the cold stone and the rough texture sightly pinching the skin on her back. Hermione was just pleased that the romance novels she had read were still paying off with teaching her foul language. Staring into Lupin’s green eyes she didn’t see his hand move down to said cunt and run his knuckles through her folds. 

Hermione had her legs around his hips and she rocked them against the few knuckles that he was letting ghost against her. 

“Shit, you’re so wet. Sucking my cock really turns you on that much?” He was whispering directly in her ear. His warm breath making her all the more needy. 

“Y-yes. Please, Professor Lupin. Please.” Hermione pulled back to look at him so he could see the desperation on her face. The hot water hitting the side of both their bodies, but Hermione felt like she was on fire everywhere. 

Lupin stopped grazing his knuckles over her and allowed his middle finger to run down into her slit and swirl at her entrance before coming back and pushing down on her clit. She continued to rock her hips into his finger as he repeated his pattern. She whimpered as he added the second finger to his work and made the tight swirls on her clit that she loved. The whole time he peppered her neck and collarbones with kisses and occasionally bent down to take a perky breast into his mouth. Hermione moaned out loud when he bit down gently on one nipple and made a faster harder circle on her now achy swollen nub. 

“Please?” Hermione murmured. She knew he loved when she begged. “Oh god.” 

Hermione pushed her head back against the stone as his middle finger entered her followed closely by his index finger. He started a slow in and out pace, but eventually created a steady rhythm as his thumb continued circling her clit. Hermione doubled her efforts of grinding her hips against his hand. She wanted every part of him to touch her. She grabbed his bicep in the hopes that she would be able to ride his fingers harder. Taking her other arm she looped it around his neck and pulled him closer. 

“I’m…oh yes…yes…Professor…just like that, please,” Hermione cried out as she felt her orgasm building faster. With one last cry she fell over the edge and lost all control of her hip movements as she jerked forward as fast and hard chasing more of the feeling only her Professor could give her. She knew she was moaning too loud. Was pressing her body too closely to his. Her head was pushed back into the stone. 

Coming down was a slow process and her thighs were shaking violently. It look a couple of minutes of Lupin just holding her to get her to a point where she could stand. When he was finally able to put her down she started laughing hard. 

“What’s so funny?” He was chucking behind her. 

“Just that I must look insane when you make me orgasm.” Hermione turned to look at him breathing in through her teeth as the hot water hit her tender back. He looked over her shoulder at it frowning deeply. 

“You don’t look insane. You look fucking beuatiful. You should have told me you were in pain. I’ll heal that when we get out.” Lupin looked at her with concern, but Hermione still wore her dopey smile. 

“Couldn’t feel it.” Hermione grabbed his bar of soap and began lathering his body. He did the same to her. They washed their bodies separately and Hermione smiled when he produced a bottle of conditioner. She ran a small amount through her hair so she could style it out of the shower. 

Once they were out and wrapped in towels Hermione stood in front of the mirror and cast a drying spell on her hair so it would fall down her back to her waist in the long chestnut soft tamed curls she loved. Lupin stood behind her inspecting her back. 

“Go lay down on the bed. On your stomach. Don’t argue.” 

She did as she was told, taking the towel off, and waited as he came grabbing his wand off the dresser. He sat down next to her putting a bottle of lotion beside her and got to work casting healing charms on her back. She recognized one that would stitch the skin back together and another that would speed up the healing process. The scratches were so shallow most of them were probably already gone. She heard him open the lotion and then start rubbing it on her back. Hermione was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t even a little bit sore. 

Lupin’s warm hands worked her back and slowly moved down to her rounded soft bottom. He took his time moisturizing it before delivery a soft tap that made Hermione gasp and then sigh in happiness. He worked his way down her legs massaging all her muscles. 

“Flip over.” He helped over roll over so she lied on her back. 

Hermione’s hair fanned out on the pillow beneath her head as she laid their completely naked for him. Lupin himself was only wrapped in a towel. He started with her neck and gently, but with intention, started applying the lotion on her body. He worked each arm with care before moving to her breast. Hermione could feel her pussy grow wetter still as his thumbs ran over her harden nipples and he would tweak them as he massaged the globes. She let out moans and arched her back into his hands for more contact. 

Too soon he left her chest and moved down to her waist and put lotion on her stomach. She knew as the months went on her body was maturing and as she watched him apply the lotion she could see how much he appreciated her widening hips and her flat, but soft stomach plains. He brushed his hands over her hips and she tilted her thighs out trying to encourage him to rub the inside of them. 

He closed the lotion bottle placing it on the nightstand. Hermione couldn’t believe it, but she actually whined out his name at the lack of contact. 

“I know, Pet. I know what you want.” Lupin leaned down and kissed her lips with the same romance from the bathroom. 

Professor Lupin took his hands and parted her thighs more letting her sex be completely on display for him. She wasn’t quite sure what it was about looking directly at it that did it for him, but she was growing less bashful about it. He ran his fingers over her again. 

“Love, I don’t know how you’re so wet again.” Lupin ground out. Hermione could see he was reacting to their interaction under his towel. 

“All because of you. For you, Professor.” Hermione put one leg over his that still hung off the bed opening up her legs even more. 

Lupin could see her slickness reflecting the candlelight in the room and could see how pink her cunt was for him. In one swoop he readjusted his seat on the bed and dipped his head down to lick up her wetness savoring her smell and taste. Hermione cried out at finally feeling his hot tongue on her core. She could feel him licking her with the flat of his tongue as he worked everywhere but her clit or her entrance. She rocked her hips into his face and he smirked up at her. 

With a devilish grin he attached his lips to her clit and sucked gently causing her to grab her own breast before he began assaulting her with his tongue. He would switch between the flat of his tongue and moving the tip hard and fast. Her thighs were shaking around his head as she put her other hand in his hair. 

“That’s it. Yes, Professor. Please. Oh..oh..f-fuck..fuck..God.” She wasn’t even making sense to herself. She felt him insert two fingers at once into her as she started to buck up into his mouth and try to grind on his fingers at the same time. He somehow managed to suck on her clit while also swirling it with the tip of his tongue and his fingers pumped in and out of her. Hermione came with her back arched off the mattress crying out for her Professor to please never stop. 

Her legs were still shaking as he slowed his fingers and gently lapped at her clit until she came all the way down. Finally as her body sagged into the mattress he stopped his ministrations and allowed her to pull him up to her. The towel stayed behind having come undone from the tuck he put in. 

Hermione looked up as Professor Lupin hovered over her. He bent down and gave her a searing kiss that made her moan just as much as when he touched her. As the kiss grew his body came to rest on hers. Hermione gasped and Lupin swore when his hard length came to rest on her soaking center. Instinctually he let his hips roll into hers at the same time she rolled hers up. Hermione swallowed thickly as her mouth had gone dry from the pleasure feeling the hot skin of his member delivered straight to her cunt. She kissed him again. 

“Hermione-“

“Yes. Yes.” She stared into his green eyes with everything she had to convey her emotions. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, please. I want you. Only you. Need you.” Hermione whispered up at him before kissing him again. 

“I’ll try to not make it hurt so much.” 

She saw Professor Lupin lean to the side as he took one hand from her side and place it around his shaft. He ran the tip up and down Hermione’s slit gathering as much of her wetness as possible which caused her to moan wantonly. He looked down at her again and Hermione smiled up at him kissing him. 

With that Professor Lupin pushed the tip into the beautiful witch beneath him. 

Slowly he pushed an inch in and pulled back. Hermione felt okay on the first thrust and fine on the second. The third thrust is where her breathing hitched. She felt a stinging pressure. On the fourth thrust she curled her toes into the duvet and squeezed her lips shut to stop from crying out at the pain. The books had not prepared her at all. The pain did not instantly give away to orgasm inducing pleasure, but she didn’t feel like she was being ripped in half either. 

“I’m hurting you.” Lupin’s concerned eyes bore into her as he pulled back. 

Hermione locked her legs around his hips holding him in place, “It’s okay. It’s normal. Please keep going.” 

He continued to thrust in slowly and Hermione felt a few tears build in her eyes and fall down the sides into her hair at the temple. The pain was starting to subside and Hermione started taking deep breaths again. The more she relaxed the more the pain went away. 

“God, love, you’re in pain.” Lupin had pulled back to see her crying. 

“Can you just go in a stay there for a second?” 

He looked skeptical, but he did as she asked. After a minute she had been able to breathe enough that her entire body relaxed and she no longer felt any pain. She slowly rolled her hips up to his. She could hear his chest rumble and his eyes closed. He wouldn’t let himself enjoy this if she wasn’t. 

“Professor?” His eyes were on her instantly, “Can you move now?” 

He began his slow thrust again. He bent down to kiss up and down her neck and kissing her lips in between their sighs of pleasure from his slow thrust. Hermione began moving her hips up to meet his thrust down and on one particular movement she let out a moan and dug her nails in his back. Lupin picked up his pace just a bit. 

“Harder, please. Just a bit.” Hermione was panting in his ear. His whole body was pressed down on her. 

He let his hips moved faster and harder, still exceptionally slow by any standard, but it seemed the more pleasure Hermione got from him the more he got for himself. Finally, Hermione started to feel full in a good way. He was moving inside her and it was making her belly warm and tight. Her eyes were rolling in the back of her head as she allowed her body to just feel his in her. 

“Thank you, Sir. So good. Thank you. Thank you.” Hermione kissed his shoulder and tasted the sweat that had built up there from his physical exertion. She let out a ‘mmm’ and asked him to never stop. 

“Fuck, Pet. I wish. I’m not going to last much longer. I’m going to cum.” He growled in her ear which somehow made Hermione even more turned on. 

“Please cum. Please. I want to feel you cum.” Hermione pulled on his hair the way she knew he liked. 

Within seconds Professor Lupin had put his open mouth on Hermione’s collarbone and was groaning as he came deep inside her. She could feel the warmth of his cum in her. His thrust that had gone jerky grew longer and slower before he stopped moving entirely. He laid on her catching her breath before gently pulling out and rolling off of her. 

Without another moment he leaned up and looked at her studying for any emotion of regret, “Are you okay?”

Hermione rolled over and tilted her head up for a kiss. He obliged.

“I’m perfect. Thank you.” 

“You didn’t…” He looked like a school boy who had disappointed his favorite teacher. 

Hermione giggled and pushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead, “I think that’s okay. It’s not very common. Plus, it was a bit painful.” She shrugged one shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, love.” 

“We could do it again.” Hermione ran her fingers down his chest stopping at his navel. 

Lupin gave a throaty chuckle, “I need a minute, Pet.” 

Hermione sighed contently and rolled into his body letting him wrap his arms around her body. She melted into his body warmth and ran her fingers through his chest hair. She found comfort from tugging the corse sandy hair. 

“Did you mean what you said? Do I make you feel safe?” Lupin’s voice was unsure as his finger tips traced her spine up and down. Hermione tilted her head up to look up into his eyes. The same look that had flashed into his eyes before was back. 

“Of course I meant it. Are you o-“ He kissed her soundlessly. She took a deep breath regaining her senses before speaking again, “Are you okay?” 

He only nodded his head moving it so her head was tucked under his chin. 

“It’s just, Professor, I know…I know what today is.” Hermione’s small voice spoke into his neck. The candles were starting to burn out making the room grow darker. 

He didn’t speak for the longest time, “I don’t want to talk about it. Thirteen years and it’s still painful. Having you know is enough for now. This year…this year seems to be less heartache. Having Sirius back. Having you…” 

She smiled up at him at that. They shared a kiss meant to convey their deep commitment to one another. Hermione wanted to ask him what all of it meant, but before she could he was rolling over and standing up. Walking naked around the room he moved towards the cabinet passing through the candlelight Hermione saw a stain across his skin. Her gasp and body jerking up caught his attention. 

“Can you light more candles, please?” She was frantic, her voice strained. He cupped his hand and pushed the air up lighting more candles around them. Hermione let out a high pitch noise and felt her face grow hot from embarrassment. 

Lupin’s lap, the bed sheets, and her thighs all had a pink hue from smeared blood. Moving her legs she saw a tiny puddle of her own blood soaking into the cream sheets. 

“I need my wand.” Hermione refused to look at her teacher who’s calm face was watching her unravel. 

“Hermione-“

“I left it in the bathroom.” She jumped out of the bed and winced at her first steps, but attempted to get to the bathroom as fast as possible. Lupin stood in front of her cutting off her path. 

“My love-“

“Please,” if the blood wasn’t already doing her in her teary emotional response to it was enough to make her feel worse. Hermione tried to hide her face by looking down, “I can clean it.” 

She felt Lupin take a hand off her shoulder and felt the air move as his wand came to his hand. Always silently he swished the wand around and kissed her forehead. Hermione watched as her thighs went back to their normal slightly tan skin and, looking behind her, his sheets were stain free. Lupin used the other hand on her shoulder to lead her back to the bed and lay her back down before walking away again. Hermione could hear him rummaging around in his bathroom cabinet with what sounded like glass phials. When he walked back in he was carrying three a yellow, blue, and pink one. 

“Take these.” He held them out and she sat up and sat them in from of her taking the yellow one unstopping it and tipping it back, “Stop.”

She brought it down from her lips and looked at him confused, “What? Wrong one?”

“You just take a potion without asking what it is?” He was shaking his head at her. 

Hermione was thankful the room was darker again as her blush bloomed across her chest and up her neck, “You’re the one giving it to me. I didn’t think-“

“Constant vigilance!” He shouted out. 

Hermione couldn’t help the way her shoulders shook as her body was racked with laughter, “Shut up, oh my god. Okay, okay, what is this?”

She tipped the yellow one back as he answered. 

“The yellow is an anti-inflammatory. The blue is a pain relief potion. You should know that one,” she shot him an incredulous look to say ‘duh’ and tipped it back, “and the pink one is a, hm, a after contraceptive potion. Taste awful I’m afraid.”

Hermione held it up to the last bit of light studying the color. She swirled it around in the phial. 

She lifted and eyebrow at him, “Why do you have this?” 

Even in the dark she could see the slight pink that grew on his cheekbones, “I said I wanted to go slow not that I didn’t want to at all. I just wanted be prepared. You have a tendency to sneak in here and attack me. Didn’t know when I would fall victim.” 

“I’m so sorry, Professor. I didn’t realize you were so fragile.” Hermione patted his hand. 

“Dainty even.” 

Their laughter took up the space in the room again. 

“In any event, I don’t need this.” She handed the phial back to him, “Will it stay good for awhile?” 

“A year,” he looked worried, “Hermione, why don’t you need it.”

“Over the summer, before the Cup, Mrs. Weasley saw Fred and I sitting together and then walked in on Ginny and I talking about how Ginny thinks Harry is cute. She freaked out and brewed contraceptive potion. Made us take them the morning we left for the train. I’m good until December first.”

Lupin was just staring at Hermione before just nodding his head, “okay, I’ll hold on to this just in case.” 

“Good. You’ll need it the next time I pounce on you.” Hermione giggled at him before crawling into his lap. He indulged her in a proper snogging session. 

“Do you need anything? Hungry? Shower?” He was stroking her head. Hermione just shook her head tangling her fingers into his free hand. 

As they laid down to go to sleep Hermione turned to look at him, “I think I’m going to stop House Elf slavery.” 

Lupin opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and kissed her cheek, “Okay, love.”

The next morning Lupin woke to an empty bed, but found Hermione curled up on his leather sofa reading the same book from last night, drinking a cup of tea, and completely covered in a blanket. 

“What? To good to start your morning with a glass of fire whiskey?” Lupin sat next to her. 

“That stuff was terrible,” her light laugh brought a smile to his face as she leaned over to kiss him, “do you want a cup?” 

“No.” 

She moved to deepen the kiss and set the book and cup down. After straddling his lap she opened the blanket to place her arms on his shoulders showing her naked body to him. He hummed his appreciation. She moved her lips down his neck nipping at the pulse point and mewling as she felt him stiffen through his boxers beneath her. With grace he flipped her down on her back and latched his mouth on to her harden nipple. 

“Please, now.” She begged him as she leaned up enough to pull his pants down. 

“Are you sure you aren’t sore?” His thumb found her clit and made circles before she could answer anyway. She lifted her hips up to him and tried to get her hand around his shaft to guide him into her. She didn’t quite know how and he removed his hand from her, to her whimper, long enough to line up and slowly push in. 

Hermione’s mouth fell open at the feeling of being full of him again. This is what she wanted all these months. She could feel his hips resting on hers as he slowly push in and she pushed her hips up to meet him allowing her body to do whatever felt naturally. 

“Harder.” She breathed out. He did so, but barely. “Harder, Professor.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He groaned out. 

“Harder.” She put a hand in his hair and pulled the way she knew would drive him crazy. 

He picked up his pace enough that she gasped loudly before letting her head fall back and moaning wildly. Lupin’s hand went down to her hips and adjusted her and he could hit another angle in her that caused her to cry out his name and screw her eyes shut. Her belly began to flood with the same warmth she felt last night and the tightening coil she knew meant she was close. 

“Mmm. Y-yes, Professor. Keeping doing that. I-I, oh.” Hermione gave in to breathless moans and letting her nails bite into his back. 

When her Professor moved his thumb back to her center and continued his tight circles she felt the coil break and she came with his cock buried in her for the first time. It felt like her orgasm was lasting forever as he continued to thrust in and out hitting a particularly nice spot inside her. 

Lupin removed his thumb, but continued his pace. She felt herself release even more wetness from her orgasm and her toes curled as his movements caused even more pleasure to course through her. She arched her body into his chest before burying her mouth into his neck to let out a small scream. His own mouth was pressed against her neck and she couldn’t make out what he was saying, but she felt his hips get harder in their movements and unsteady as he found his own release. He swirled his tongue around one of her nipples again as she felt his cum shoot deep within her hot from his body. 

Lupin collapsed on Hermione’s body and she felt completely at peace. She ran her fingers over where her nails had left half moons in his pale skin. They laid there for minutes catching their breath and feeling their slick skin pressed against each other. Hermione could feel Lupin’s member soften and pull out as he removed himself. She squirmed as their fluids mingled and ran out of her. She didn’t miss the way his eyes watched her wetness pool on his leather sofa. When he looked up at her he blushed and waved his hand cleaning her and the seat. 

“Stop. You can like what you like.” She propped herself up on her elbows to take his face in her hand. 

“I just don’t want to scare you.” He moved his mouth to kiss her wrist. 

“Trust me, after my moms erotic books that I read this summer I don’t think there’s anything you can do that would scare me.” Hermione removed herself from the sofa standing up and stretching her arms high above her head before dropping them. She knew it was probably crude to let her backside linger in front of his face, but she didn’t care. Lupin grabbed her forearm making her turn to look at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again shaking his head. 

“I’ve got to get back to the common room. I’m sure Harry is wondering where I, or at least his map, is.” Hermione walked back into Lupin’s bedroom putting on the leggings and jumper she snuck down in the night before. “Plus, I have to start looking up Hogwarts elf history. I can’t believe Dumbledore is okay with slave labour.” 

Pulling his pants up as he stood Lupin came to stand in the door watching as she combed her hair with her fingers, “Hermione, love, it’s not really slave labour.”

“Oh my god,” she turned her shocked face on him, “oh my god. Don’t tell me you’re one of those who believe the elves are happy where they are.”

“I’m not saying that,” Lupin held his hands up, “I’m just saying it’s complicated. Look at Sirirus’s elf-“

“Sirius has an elf? Of course he does the most Noble and Cruel House of Black-“

“Stop that isn’t fair and he isn’t like that. Point being, that elf loved his mother, but fucking hated Sirius. You wouldn’t have been able to get Kreacher away from Walburga for all the luxuries in the world. Same with some of the elves here. They’re devoted to Hogwarts and enjoy being here.” Lupin wrapped his arms around her, but let out a breath as she pulled out of his embrace. 

“We’ll see about that.” Hermione put her slip on trainers on and stomped out. Just as her hand was on the front doorknob she looked back and saw the disappointed look on his face. She stomped back in and leaned up to kiss him quickly and then stomped right back out. She made the mature decision to ignore his deep laughter at her antics.

Had Hermione known that she would be walking back into a common room divided she wouldn’t have bothered coming back. She saw Harry sitting alone at a desk, actually doing homework, by the window and sat down next to him. 

“Hermione, where have you been? Do you have the map?”

“Yeah, sorry. I snuck out to go to the library. Tried looking up Karkaroff and fell asleep. I missed breakfast I guess. The library has nothing on him.” Hermione wasn’t necessarily lying. When she found out Durmstrang would be one of the schools coming she did look it up, last month, and didn’t find anything. She was just fudging the timeline. 

“Not surprised. They went easy on him apparently.” Harry sank into his chair staring out the window. 

“Why isn’t Ron over here.” Hermione saw Ron sitting by the fire with Seamus and Dean. 

“He’s being a right git.” Harry grumbled out. Hermione rolled her eyes, “No, ‘Mione. He honestly believes that I put my name in the Cup and just didn’t tell him. He even admitted that everyone has told him it was impossible. Moody. You. Even Lupin! He’s riled up Dean and Seamus. He’s not talking to me. So I’m not talking to him.” 

And that was how the next three weeks went. 

The boys ignored each other and Ron attempted to get as many people to join him as possible. Thankfully, that was futile attempt. Hermione had to yell at the twins multiple times to stop taking bets on Harry’s life so Fred changed the wording to “win or lose.” 

When Harry came to her and said that Charlie was at Hogwarts delivering dragons for the first task Hermione ran to Lupin only for him to tell her that he couldn’t tell her anything. She huffed her way out of his office and dedicated the next couple of weeks to knitting hats and socks for the Hogwarts elf staff. 

Hermione’s efforts to launch Society for Promotion of Elvish Welfare wasn’t getting anywhere. The Slytherin’s had started bullying her mercilessly again all except Malfoy who still wouldn’t look at her. She had to basically threaten Ron, Harry, and Neville to join her cause. If nothing else she was able to bring Harry and Ron together for a moment in their agreement that she was once again crazy. Only for Hermione to scream that she was not crazy in the middle of the Great Hall. She heard Theo Nott tell his table that she was ‘whacked out of her mind.’ 

As she stormed out her eyes met Victor Krum’s again as he openly stared at her and his lips seemed to quirk up in a kind of smile. She threw him a sneer assuming that he was making fun of her. 

That night Hermione had tried to get Harry and Ron to join her in the library to look up laws regarding sentient beings, but both were curt and moody. She rolled her eyes and set off by herself. She had barely seen Lupin since Halloween two weeks ago. He had taken on the extra classes of Durmstrang and Beauxbatons. Two days ago she had stopped by his office to try and catch him, but he had two blonde girls in powder blue robes fawning over his teaching skills. If he saw her he didn’t say anything. 

That night she sat in the library and let herself decompress. Harry had been interviewed by Rita Skeeter and he had told her it was a nightmare. She didn’t have a great reputation for journalistic integrity and Harry said she was openly lying in her notes to his face. Just as she put her head down to read another chapter on the Elvish legislation of 1756 a broad shadow overtook the page. Hermione looked up to see the broad chest and dark features of Victor Krum. 

“Uh, hi?” The confusion of what he would be needing from her was evident all over her face. 

“I sit with you?” Victor motion to the empty chair across from her. 

“Ok.” Hermione nodded her head. He sat down and pulled out his own study books. Even though they were all taking classes at Hogwarts many of his materials were still in Bulgarian. After twenty minutes he looked up at Hermione and cleared his throat. 

“You are loud.” He stated with a blank face. Hermione dropped her mouth open and snorted unattractively. 

“I am not.” She was defiant. She had taken push back from every other boy in her life she wouldn’t take it from a complete stranger. 

“It is nice.” That made Hermione snap her mouth shut. She tried to respond, but didn’t have anything to say. 

Victor watched her read for an hour and then watched her do homework for another hour. Hermione wasn’t uncomfortable, but she wasn’t comfortable either. She wasn’t sure what he wanted. Suddenly, he stood and packed his bag. 

“I will sit with you again.” He announced while looking at her. She wasn’t sure if that was a question or statement. 

“Ok.” Hermione nodded her head. With that he turned on his heel and left. What just happened?, Hermione thought. 

The next day Rita released her, supposed, article. Harry was distressed by the content and Hermione did her best to comfort him. It happened to be Friday and DADA was more quiet than usual. Hermione could tell Pansy wanted to make nasty comments to Harry about crying during his interviews, but she was already in hot water with Lupin so she gritted her teeth and stared out the window. 

Today was just a lecture and Lupin ended up dismissing the class early as no one wanted to answer his questions. 

“Harry, Hermione, Mr. Malfoy can you stay after.” Lupin let out an exhausted breath and sat at his desk. None of the kids moved and the classroom stayed deathly silent waiting for everyone else to leave. Lupin turned on Malfoy first. 

“I expect participation, Mr. Malfoy.” 

It was beyond evident that Draco was biting his tongue as he took deep breaths through his nose. He curtly nodded his head once before getting up and leaving slamming the door. 

“Harry, how are you?” Lupin’s gentle tenor came across the room. Hermione turned to her best friend to see his facial expressions. 

“I’m doing okay, Professor. Trying to remember that Rita Skeeter isn’t exactly breaking news.”

Lupin leaned back in his chair and chuckled, “She is a rag, isn’t she? Well, I’m glad you’re keeping perspective. Perhaps, you should work in the common room tonight. Late night studying can help you, I think.” 

Harry looked at Hermione like Lupin had lost his mind, but she just shrugged a shoulder and offered up a smile. 

“Okay, thanks Lupin. Going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?” Harry had already stood and was packing up. 

“I’ll meet you at there. See you.” Harry walked out of the room. “Hermione.” 

Harry had closed the door behind him just as Draco had before him. Lupin picked up his wand and with a wave Hermione could feel the strong wards he put in place. Hermione bit her lip and slowly got up and walked towards his desk. Instead of stopping in front she made her way around the side. Lupin rolled his chair back and turned to face her. Without stopping Hermione moved to straddle his lap taking his lips in hers and grinding down on him. 

“Love-“

“No, now.” Hermione reaches down to unbuckle his pants, taking his half erect member out fisting it to a harden state. “Help me?” 

Lupin groaned at the request and put his big hand around hers as he used his other hand to move her panties to the side. Without preamble he lined himself up at her entrance and Hermione sunk down on him. She tossed her head back letting her hair fall down in waves as her hands gripped his shoulders and she slowly rolled up and down. Lupin’s hands gently gripped her waist aiding her in her need as he watched her take her pleasure from him. 

This wasn’t the Hermione who usually begged him to touch her. Hermione could feel him staring at her as she took long deep breaths that filled her belly. She allowed every inch of her insides to be felt by him as she moved up and down. Her hands moved between gripping his shoulders and tangling in the hair at the base of his neck. She felt his eyes on her hard nipples that were aching from the contact of the lace of her bra and pushing on the starched white cotton of her uniformed shirt. She let her head drop down and look into his eyes as she continued moving up and down. She stared into his green earthy eyes as she rested her forehead against his. 

“I need to feel you cum in me, Professor.” Her voice a whisper in the classroom. 

As if on demand he crashed his lips to hers and using his hands to bounce her hard a few times he moaned into her mouth as their tongues tangled and he had to shut his eyes from cumming hard. 

Hermione slowed her bouncing until she raised herself enough to let him slip out of her along with the fluids that slid down her thighs. She rested on his lap again kissing him lazily. 

“Are you okay, my love?” Lupin ran his thumb over her cheekbone. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in three weeks.” 

Hermione’s voice was thick with emotion from missing Professor Lupin, “I haven’t talked to you. Every time I come by you’ve been with other…people.” 

“I don’t care about French girls giggling at me. I care about this.”

“Good.” 

Hermione lifted herself off of him and readjusted her clothes and perched on the desk. Lupin fixed his belt. She looked around the classroom avoiding his eyes, “Victor Krum has been sitting with me in the library.”

“I heard.” 

That forced Hermione to look at him. He wasn’t smiling with his lips, but there was a twinkle in his eye. 

“My love, the girls gossip. Everyone is saying that you’re doing his homework if he sits with you.”

“Fucking awesome.” She huffed out. She hopped down from the desk, but stopped when she felt another gush of fluid fall down thighs. She lifted her skirt to see it was just clear fluid running to her knees. She smirked at her Professor who was watching her legs with dark eyes and parted lips. She waved her wand and the mess disappeared. “He doesn’t actually talk to me. Just watches me study.”

“It’s not the worse thing.” His always calm voice was too calm for Hermione’s liking. 

“I’m sorry, what?” She could feel her skin getting hot, “What you think he’s just using me too? He couldn’t possibly be interested in spending time with me outside of getting homework out of me.” 

Lupin placed a hand on her hip, “Hermione. That’s not what I meant. I just meant, it’s not the worse thing that a boy is trying to flirt with you.”

Hermione spluttered so badly she could barely talk, “No, no…no. He’s not flirting. He doesn’t talk.” 

“I’m just saying don’t write him off just yet.” 

Hermione’s whole body sagged back on the desk. She couldn’t help the way her eyes stung so she didn’t bother to hide the tears that crested on her cheeks. 

“Hermione, what?” Lupin stood in front of her. 

“Why?” Her voice broke and tried to cover her face with her hands.