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Today was a rare day in Loonatics Headquarters. A lazy weekend morning, following a day of pleasant peace. An unusual sense of calm was upon Ace as he awoke, one he hadn’t felt in months. He had awoken to his own internal clock rather than an alarm. He was neither thirsty, nor hungry. His room was beautifully lit with morning’s light. Ace couldn’t think of a more picturesque morning if he tried, and best of all, the only expectation for the day was rest and relaxation.
The intercom beeped once, then Tech’s voice cackled over it. “Loonatics? Attention Loonatics, come to my lab. I’ve got something to show you guys. Over.” It beeped again, signaling the message had ended, and Ace heard the shuffle and murmurs from everyone else who’s lazy weekend morning also had been ruined.
“So much for rest and relaxation.”
Ace was second to last to walk in. Sleepily, Lexi lounged on Tech’s lab chair. Slam sat boredly on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, and drinking a juice box. Smiling smugly by a covered box, Tech was eagerly looking to everyone and the door. Clearly he was waiting for everyone to arrive to begin presenting his new findings. The only real morning person here was Rev, who was running around excitedly as though trying to get a sneak peak.
“And why,” the lab door opened, revealing a messily dressed Duck, “couldn’t you have waited until the afternoon to reveal your newest invention?”
Without a shift in his expression, Tech replied. “I just finished building it.”
“Yeesh, how long did you even sleep?”
“Three.”
“Three what?”
“It’s not important. What is important,” Tech ripped the sheet off his invention with a satisfying flourish, “is this! The crime solver 3000!”
A silence filled the room, one that was broken by Lexi. “…a gun, Tech?” Indeed, the invention looked like perhaps the most basic ray gun. It was colorful, high-tech, and simple.
“No! Well, yes. It’s more of a time machine than a gun.”
“Ooo, but-Tech-we-can’t-just-arrest-someone-before-they-commited-the-crime! That-is-immoral-unjust-downright-illegal-itself!” Rev quickly argued, his mind already several steps ahead of the rest of his sleepy companions. Tech must’ve predicted he, or someone else, would have commented on using a time machine to solve crimes, as Tech’s confident smile grew.
“That’s why it is the crime solver, not the crime stopper. You see, this device should allow us to travel back in time in a dimension parallel to our own. In theory this dimension we will go to will have the same history as ours, however anything we do in this other dimension will not affect our current present. Therefore, we can go back in time, see who committed the crimes, what evidence they left behind, then go to our present to gather the evidence and arrest the crooks.”
“What.” Asked a too asleep Ace.
Rev chirped in. “We-can-go-back-in-time-and-see-what-happened-but-we-can-not-create-any-of-those-annoying-time-paradoxes.”
“Really?” Ace, perked up a little, having understood. “Tech, that’s amazing!”
“Well,” Tech rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, previous bravado dissipated. “In theory.”
“Wabahaba, Theory?”
“I called you guys down here to help me test it. We will go back a mere hour earlier, change stuff around HQ, and make sure none of the changes are still there in our reality. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”
Another silence followed. One where everyone looked at one another expectantly. Seeing as nobody else was saying something, Duck spoke up. “Well Techy boy, as fun as that sounds, I think we will all have to-”
“Say-yes!” Exclaimed Rev. “Oh-boy, who-do-you-think-is-faster? Me-or-me-from-an-hour-ago?! Woo! It-will-be-the-race-of-a-lifetime!”
“Slam eat food twice!” Slam was already salivating at the idea of having a big meal without consequence.
“Hmm, I guess it would be fun to talk to myself for a while.” Lexi hummed.
Ace chuckled at everyone’s apparent enthusiasm. “I wouldn’t be a leader if the rest of the team did this and I didn’t, would I?”
“Wha-but I…” Duck looked to the rest of his team, who stared him down. “Oh, alright. At least when there is two of me, I’ll have someone who listens.”
The group huddled around Tech, who picked up the crime solver 5000 and raised it upwards. A brightly covered dome surrounded them.
“To an hour ago we go!” Shouted Tech as he pulled the trigger. The ray gun whirred to life, and a white light filled everyone’s vision.
▽
Tech awoke in a cave. Weird. This definitely wasn’t here an hour ago. He had been laying on a bed of stone with a light, woven blanket tossed on top of him. The cave itself had to be, or have been, somebody’s home. At least half of the furniture was primitive, carved from rocks and stone for convenience rather than comfort. The other half bore a familiar name: ACME. Blueprints were strewn everywhere. Some looked as though they had recently been swept off the stone bed he was currently lying on.
“You are lucky to have been found by me.” A voice purred from Tech’s right. He turned his head and stared. It was a coyote! A clotheless coyote, shorter and thinner than him, but with that same smug look he got when he was looking for praises. “I, Wile E. Coyote, super genius, have saved you from being cooked alive in this hot desert’s sun.” E. Coyote? It couldn’t be.
“This is going to sound very strange,” Tech started, already getting a raised eyebrow from Wile E. “But, what year is it?”
“It is 2011 CE. Or AD, depending on what you prefer.” 2011? 2011?! Uh oh.
“Heh, so… I am from the year 2772 CE. And I might be your descendant?”
Surprisingly, Wile E. was neither surprised nor shocked. He spoke with a calm, muted interest. “Ah, that would explain the resemblance and clothing. How did you get here anyway?”
Tech reached to his side, feeling the ray gun, which had miraculously stayed with him. “My Crime Solver 5000-”
“Might I have a look?”
Tech handed the ray gun over and continued. “-Was meant to transport me back an hour from my present, however I somehow ended up here, 761 years in the past, and not in the same location I used it in. My calculations must have been off due to my lack of sleep, however I wouldn’t have guessed that they would be this off.”
“Ah here’s your problem. You didn’t tighten the futuraism socket tight enough, causing your calculations to be off.” In awe, Tech looked over. Wile E. had unscrewed the cover off his ray gun and peaked inside whilst Tech was rambling and, despite the technology being centuries ahead of him, had accurately found and named Tech’s problem.
“Simply fascinating.” Tech mumbled, and just because he knew that he himself would want to hear such praise added, “you really are a super genius.”
Wile E. preened at the praise. “I know, but thank you. I suppose you too must be adequately intelligent to not only notice my genius, but to also build such an invention...I don't believe I caught your name.”
"Tech. Tech E. Coyote."
"Tech." Wile E. sounded happy, having heard the naming scheme had kept for long.
Looking down at the ray gun, another uncomfortable thought came upon Tech. “You didn’t happen to see anyone with me, did you?”
“No siree.” Wile E pulled out one of his stone stool and sat himself down. Despite the generations of difference, the action was reminiscent of Tech’s own father. “You appeared in a brilliant flash of light in front of me, alone.” He paused. “Was there meant to be?”
“Yes. Five of my friends should be with me as well.”
Wile E. hummed in thought, going over the information he already knew in his head. “Well, given what I can tell, it’s impossible for them to have been transported into some other time.”
“Right, however the question then becomes where are they?”
“No, the question then becomes why did you appear in front of me. If we figure out why you appeared where you appeared, then it would be easier to track the others.”
Tech gave a low hum. “Well, the only thing linking us, besides both of our genius, is our genes. Perhaps then, the others are by one of their ancestors as well. But we are from over 700 years into the future, many generations apart. Who’s to say which ancestor they appeared near by?”
Wile E. leaned back on his stool, putting his arms on the table. “…Maybe we can search up their last names and go down the list. Though, that might cause a paradox-”
“Already covered, parallel dimension.”
“Ah, smart,” complimented Wile E. as he rose, heading towards his thick desktop computer.
“Thank you.”
“The names?”
“Ah, right. Duck, Tasmanian, Two with the last name Bunny, and Runner.”
Wile E. paused in his typing. “…Runner?”
“Yes, Rev Runner.”
“Species?”
“Roadrunner.”
Wile E. took a deep, frustrated sigh. Ever slightly, his tail and ears lowered as well. “Of course. Well, I don’t think I have to look up where his ancestor is. The fates love toying with me.” Wile E. rose, making a motioning gesture to Tech. “Come, follow.”
Wile E. led Tech to the second ‘floor’ of his cave, to a room that was a cross between a lab and an observatory. Calculations upon calculations littered the floor, along with somehow even more ACME products. It made sense to Tech, the two of them being related, because he was sure if he was as limited by the technology of his time as Wile E. was, his workspace would look the same. Though, Tech strongly suspected he would have fewer explosive products in his work, much less littered haphazardly around his lab.
With a gesture, Wile E. directed Tech to what looked to be a powerful telescope that was meant to see the planets and stars. Tech wearily looked inside, half expecting to be blinded by the sun. He was not. Instead, without moving the scope itself, the telescope tracked what looked to be a bird, running fast enough that the background was undiscernible. The feathers on this bird were similar to Rev’s, color wise at least.
“And this creature is...?” Tech had an idea, however, would rather not make assumptions.
“That menace, that Road Runner.” Ah. He was right.
Tech instead decided to focus on the menace part. “What did he do?”
“He evades my attempts at capturing him and having him as a roadrunner roast.” Wile E. Practically hissed, some drool running down his muzzle. His eyes were glazed over, and Tech doubted that Wile E. was fully here anymore.
Ah. Right. Tech did read that in the past, predator species had an unhealthy obsession with catching and eating prey, even with all the other food options around. Tech had grown up with tales from his family about a genius coyote who was never able to catch his roadrunner. It was a cautionary tale, warning to not go mad trying to reach a singular, insignificant, impossible goal. Rather, to focus on the big picture. It didn’t seem wise to tell that little story to his ancestor, even if it wouldn’t mess with his timeline.
As Wile E. continued a rant about the different ways he would eat the Road Runner, Tech looked back in the telescope. It appeared as though the Road Runner was looking behind him for some reason. Tech zoomed out the telescope slightly. Someone else was following the bird. Someone well known to Tech.
“Ah, yes. There’s Rev.” Rev was running at the same speed as the Road Runner, following his ancestor’s trail across the hot desert’s sand. He looked like he was having fun. Rev’s parents were quick, but Rev had offhandedly mentioned a few times that they were always too serious and busy to race. Before getting his powers, Rev would go on and on about his wonderful races with Rip. Apparently, they ended their competition with a tie. It wasn’t any surprise Rev was enjoying himself out here, with a space more open than anywhere in his time, finally with an equal to race. Tech felt slightly bad, knowing he would have to stop Rev and bring him home eventually.
Tech’s ears twitched slightly, picking up a noise beyond Wile E.’s rant. He had tuned out the disturbing tirade, not wanting to hear about how tasty a roadrunner would be and hadn’t noticed the change.
“Wile E?” asked Tech, looking over. Wile E. was drooling more so now, staring down at the two roadrunners from a screen that projected what the telescope saw. When that screen had turned on, Tech wasn’t sure. The super genius who had been helping Tech out was gone, and what remained was a mad man. Or, well, coyote. As though possessed, Wile E. began to gather various materials, along with blueprints for an incredibly dangerous bicycle that would only be held together with packing tape. Uh oh. Seems those old cautionary tales Tech heard as a pup were true. Tech looked around. Family bonding time over. He had to get Rev, then had to find the others. Therefore, Tech too began to gather materials.
While Wile E. had speed and better knowledge of this century’s technology, Tech had more experience whipping up some vehicle out of nowhere. Despite the impromptu competition between the two, neither messed with the other’s invention. The result: Wile E. had finished faster than Tech with what looked to be a bicycle with a firework taped to it and had taken off as soon as he possibly could…through the cave wall. Tech, however, had a motorcycle he was sure could consistently reach half of Rev’s speed for at least an hour, with tires that could survive the harsh terrain. He took off in the same manner Wile E. did, through the cave’s wall.
He needed to get to Rev before Wile E., which was a momentous task. He was at a disadvantage at nearly everything at the moment. Wile E.’s bike was faster than him, however neither of them matched the roadrunner’s speeds. Wile E. and the Road Runner both knew the terrain more than him and Rev, but Rev had the opportunity to follow his ancestor around, unlike Tech who hadn’t seen Wile E. since the cave. And even if he could catch up to Rev, Rev was likely to think it was a race, and run even faster than before. Think, Tech! How could he catch Rev?
Bingo!
Tech hopped off his bike and ran quickly back to the cave. He easily found a long cloth and bright red, quick drying paint. Gathering the materials, he drove to the canyons.
The canyons loomed as tall as the buildings in Acmetropolis. Large boulders teetered on the top threated to fall and cause Tech to waste time regenerating. Through the canyons was a path, perhaps cut by a river long ago, and it was here that Tech enacted his plan. He first wrote a single word on the canvas, pleasantly surprised that the paint did dry fast once it was painted down, but not in the bucket itself. Then, he tied one edge of the canvas to one side. He barely tied the other side of the canvas to the other side of the canyon when his trap worked. Two blurs appeared, both digging their heels in the sand.
Rev walloped under Tech’s DIY finish line. “Yahoo! That-was-a-riot!” Rev turned to his ancestor who was watching with interest. “Did-you-see-who-won? I-wasn't-paying-attention-what-with-all-of-the-high-speed-action-and-all-but-really-I-might-have-been-biased-anyway-and-”
“Rev!” Called out Tech. The Road Runner beeped in surprise, then posed to run. Rev, however, let out a small squeal and rushed over. In the next second, Rev was slightly leaning on Tech while giving him puppy eyes.
“Heyyyyy Tech... So-did-you-happen-to-see-who-won-or-have-some-sort-of-slow-motion-camera-or-some-sensor-or-something-to-tell-the-winner-or-”
“I didn’t.”
“Ah.” Rev overdramatically wilted with a sigh. Yet, in the next second, he perked back up again. “Ah-well-guess-we-will-just-have-to-race-again! Are-you-ready, oh-ancestor of mine?!”
Tech put a hand on Rev’s shoulder, solid enough to prevent Rev from taking off, but light enough that if Rev did run, Tech’s arm wouldn’t go with him. “Wait, Rev. We need to go and find the others.”
“Eh?” Rev turned to Tech. “But-Tech-we-just-got-here-and-me-and-my-ancestor-have-just-started-racing! Do-we-really-really-really-have-to-leave-so-soon?”
“Yes.” Tech said, trying to stay firm and level-headed against Rev’s disappointment. “Besides the fact we still need to find the others and need to figure out why we are so far in the past, my ancestor is out somewhere trying to hunt down you and your ancestor.”
A loud, clanging noise caused the three of them to turn towards the entrance of the canyon. It echoed against the walls, making it sound louder than it was. From a distance, Wile E. on his makeshift, firecracker-powered bike appeared. He was approaching at a speed slower than the roadrunners, if only slightly. Rev grabbed on to Tech, either to hide behind the coyote or to drag him with him when Rev took off. The other roadrunner unashamedly hid behind Tech and his descendant.
Crash! Wile E. missed a turn and slammed into the canyon wall at a speed that made Tech cringe. Then, as if to add insult to injury, a large boulder crashed on the fallen Coyote. The three of them could only stare.
“So-” Rev broke the silence. “Can-me-and-my-ancestor-have-another-race-now?” Tech rolled his eyes in response and approached the boulder.
He gave the boulder a short rap. “You alright, Wile E.?” Tech hadn’t expected an answer, but still. One of Wile E.’s free hands gave a shaky thumbs-up. Nice to see his family’s resilience as well as bad luck was in Wile E. too. Tech headed back to his bike.
“C’mon Rev, we need to go!”
Rev gave a small, yet dramatic sigh. If Tech wasn’t worried about the rest of his team and whether or not they could get back, he’d’ve been happy to let Rev run himself exhausted in the hot desert sun. Rev didn’t try to argue the issue more. Compliantly, he settled himself behind Tech on the motorbike. And, with a short goodbye from Rev to his ancestor, they took off towards Wile E.’s cave.
▽
“Yeesh-Tech!” Complained Rev once they parked. “Not-all-of-us-have-regenerating-powers, y’know! It-might-have-been-safer-for-me-to-run! We-don't-even-have-helmets! C’mon-Tech, safety-first!”
“Sorry,” apologetically muttered Tech. Wile E. and his bike was under a boulder, so there wasn’t a real reason to dive so erratically.
“So-blatant-disregard-for-safety-aside, what’s-the-plan?”
Tech held open the cave’s door, allowing Rev to step into the cave. Rev was fascinated by the various clutter about the room. Or maybe the fascination came from how the house looked like it came from the stone age.
Gesturing towards the clunky computer, Tech explained his plan. “Before he went mad trying to catch you two, Wile E. was about to search up our team’s last names on the computer. We believe that our friends must has appeared near their ancestors as well.”
“Last-names?” Rev took a last glance at the room before sitting down at the computer. He cautiously placed a hand on the mouse, and the other on the keyboard. It must be daunting, using more archaic technology than he was used to. Or maybe Rev was thinking of those old stories of technology catching fire if someone typed too quickly. The computer booted on. “I-mean-that's-a-good-start, I-suppose. But-we-don't-know-if-the-ancestors-they-appeared-by-will-have-matching-surnames. Not-to-mention-how-common-their-last-names-are, I-know-over-a-dozen-‘Bunny’s-and-none-of-them-even-know-one-another! Well-Lexi-and-Ace-excluded, of-course. Not-to-mention-Slam, his-last-name-comes-from-Tazmania-which-I-don’t-think-I-have-to-tell-you-is-far-from-this-generic-south-west-American-desert! The-odds-of-this-working…nevermind! Tech-I-think-I-have-a-lead!”
“What is it?” Tech leaned over Rev’s shoulder and looked at the screen. It showed a map of where people lived, with certain houses highlighted. The yellow highlighted houses were houses who’s residents had the last name: “Bunny” and cyan was for those with the last name: “Duck”.
Rev was quickly using his mouse to circle one house, which appeared green. “So-get-this! This-house-is-owned-by-Bugs-Bunny-and-Daffy-Duck, they-are-roommates! And-Ace-has-mentioned-Bugs-Bunny-is-his-ancestor-over-a-dozen-times! They-live-in-a-town-that-is-about-a-two-hour-drive-away-if-we-take-your-bike. We-can-get-them-then-try-and-get-plane-tickets-to-find-Slam!”
Tech gave a small nod, seemed like their best bet. “Good find, Rev.” Rev preened at the praise.
The cave door swung open, and before Tech could wonder if Wile E. was back, a strong gust of wind had him squeeze his eye shut. When he opened his eyes again, the room’s cutter was rearranged and Rev’s ancestor, the Road Runner, stood on top of the table. Even with the added height of the table, he was shorter than Tech.
“Hey-Beep-Beep!”
“Beep Beep?” asked Tech.
“It’s-a-nickname-because-”
“Beep-Beep!” chirped the Road Runner.
“Now-I-know-my-pa-says-its-‘Meep-Meep’, but-I-am-pretty-sure-he-is-saying ‘Beep-Beep!’ Then-again-it-could-be-‘hmeep-hmeep’ or-even-a-‘mweep-mweep!’ But-you-gotta-admit-the-nickname-‘Beep-Beep’-has-got-a-certain-ring-to-it!”
Tech quietly looked between the two road runners. They both stared back at him with a neutrally excited look. Yeah, those two were definitely related.
From nowhere, Beep-Beep brought out a sign: ‘Are you heading into town?’
Rev responded as though his ancestor spoke verbally. “Yep!”
Beep-Beep spun his sign around: ‘Race?’ There was a twinkle in Rev’s eyes, and Tech could see that the mere suggestion sent ebullient energy through his friend. Rev gripped the seat. If he his tail could, it would be wagging. Rev was obviously trying to reign in his energy and focus on getting back to the rest, but it was hard to say no to rare fun for him. And, well, they knew where they were heading now.
“Rev,” Tech spoke slower than normal. It drove Rev crazy, but he needed to do it whenever he had to pick his words carefully. “So long as we can meet up before leaving the desert, you can go out and run if you want-” Tech was cut off by Rev giving him a too-tight hug, barely refraining from shaking Tech.
“Thanks-Tech! Go-north-west-until-you-reach-the-only-road-in-the-desert-then-head-west-until-you-reach-a-sign-that-is-on-a-plot-of-grass. The-desert-ends-abruptly-there, it-should-be-an-hour-long-drive. You-got-that? I-think-you-did-see-you-in-an-hour! Beep-Beep! Race-you-to-the-tunnel!”
And with a lively “Beep-Beep!” both of them were gone, only dust and a strong gust of wind in their place. Tech needed an extra moment to recall Rev’s instructions, then picked up a few of the scattered tools and material on the ground.
▽
An hour and twenty minutes later, Tech leaned against the giant sign. Rev and his ancestor soon appeared, stopping far enough away that the dust didn’t affect Tech.
“Hey-ya-Tech! I-hope-you-weren't-waiting-long! Well-I-know-you-weren't-because-I-ran-back-here-every-few-minutes-but-even-one-minute-under-this-sun-feels-like-enternity, then-again-you-are-in-the-shade-and-standing-in-the-grass-so-it-probably-wasn't-” Cutting Rev off, Tech tossed an object into the avian’s chest. “Hey-eh? Tech-what-is-this?”
“A helmet.” Tech said with a calm ease. Beep-Beep ran over to look over the helmet as well. It was simple for Tech’s time, yet high tech for this time. He also designed it with Rev’s crest in mind, putting a hole in it to allow his head feathers to remain standing, yet not taking away from the helmet’s function.
“Aww-thanks-Tech! I-guess-you-took-extra-time-to-make-this-so-I-can-race-longer-and-so-I-can-be-safe-on-the-motor-bike! That’s-so-sweet, thank-you-again!”
Rev had guessed right. With a hum, Tech smugly said “you’re welcome.” He then strapped on his own helmet. He didn’t need one, what with the regenerating and all. But a quick glance at local laws told him helmets were required in this time period, and Tech didn’t want to get pulled over. Beep-Beep looked up at Tech, expectant.
“Sorry, Beep-Beep.” Apologized Tech. “I only made one for Rev and I.” Beep-Beep visually deflated, just the same as his descendent. He looked up at Tech with the same ‘puppy-dog eyes’ Rev did at times. It worked; Tech felt guilty despite the fact Beep-Beep would not be on the motorcycle, therefore would not need a helmet.
Rev put a gentle hand on his ancestor’s back. “Ah-don’t-you-worry, oh-great-great-great-great-etc-grandpa-of-mine. You-can-have-my-helmet-when-I-go-back-to-my-time.” Beep-Beep perked back up at this and gave Rev a large smile. Most likely, when Rev leaves his helmet behind, it would be a distance from the desert. Despite this, Tech had a feeling Beep-Beep would locate it anyway.
Tech started the bike as Rev waved a cheery goodbye to his ancestor. Beep-Beep watched them go. He remained inside the desert’s border. Rev kept waving until Beep-beep was a mere speck on the horizon, then held on to Tech as the bike leaned too far to any side. There had been no discussion on why Rev was on Tech’s motorbike, however Tech suspected they had similar reasons. They didn’t know how the people in the town would react to a speedy roadrunner, and Rev’s speed might knock a few people and cars to their sides. Rev also had a habit of getting distracted sometimes. So long as Rev was on the bike, he could get distracted all he wanted without running off. And, privately, Tech felt better knowing exactly where Rev was, hugging him tightly out of fear of the motorcycle crashing.
▽
They arrived in the town. It took another hour, making the drive two hours, just as Rev said. They avoided the heavier populated part of town, and drove through the suburbs, where the map had said Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny lived. These old roads were confusing and winding, Tech would be glad to get back to the days of flying cars.
“Turn-right-here!” Directed Rev. Tech turned into the cul-de-sac. Each house was large for it’s time, and each one came with a distinct personality.
At Rev’s direction, Tech pulled into the driveway, and activated the kickstand. Across the street, an old lady who was watering her garden gave them a sweet smile and wave. Tech waved back, then turned to Rev. “Is this the house, Rev?”
“Yes-it-is! However-I-sense-there-is-about-9-people-inside, do-you-think-that-maybe-Ace-Lexi-Duck-and-maybe-even-Slam-is-inside?” Rev removed his helmet and held it under his arm. Tech detached the chinstrap so he could do the same.
“Let’s see.” They made their way to the door, and Rev gave a rapid rap. They heard voices inside, and from the windows on the door they saw someone rise from the couch to open the door for them.
“Took you guys long enough,” sarcastically teased Ace. He took a big bite of a carrot he was holding and leaned slightly on the wall. Well, somebody looked relaxed.
“Hi-Ace-glad-to-see-you-are-safe! Is-everyone-else-here-as-well?”
“Yep, we were just wasting for the two of you.” He waved them in. Tech politely followed Ace, however Rev decided he had sat still for too long and ran around the house. At least, he had enough courtesy to not knock anything down in his excitement.
Ace made his way to the couch. On the table next to the couch was a small spread of food. Two teacups with a carrot design held an orange flavored liquid that Tech predicted was carrot flavored. There was a small plate that matched the teacups with carrot shaped carrot cookies on it. The cookies were frosted to look like a carrot. Then, in a vase-like cup, which was tinted orange, there were several long carrots. Well, it seemed Ace’s love of carrots was genetic.
On the couch itself was Ace’s ancestor. “Eh, what’s up doc?” Bugs looked a lot like Ace, however he looked softer and shorter. Tech gave a short nod to his greeting.
“Heya-Slam! Oh-my-goodness-is-that-your-ancestor? He’s-so-small-and-cute-and-really-itty-bitty!” In the kitchen, which Tech could see into from where he stood, Rev was cupping the cheeks of Slam’s ancestor. He was the smallest of the creatures in the house at the moment, making his contrast to the biggest on the team, Slam, all the more great. He and Slam looked to be halfway between lugging a large pizza somewhere else before Rev had stopped him. Slam’s ancestor gave a low growl, but ultimately let Rev coo over him until something else caught the bird’s attention. Nice to know Slam was here and not in Tasmania.
Tech turned to address Ace. “Well there’s you and Slam, but where is Duck and Lexi?”
“Upstairs.” Answered Ace. A playful smile appeared on his face. “You’ll see.” Well, that’s foreboding. Still, Tech made his way up the stairs. Once he reached the top, he felt Rev zip by him and into the only open door. When Tech approached, Duck glared at him, despite Tech’s nonreaction.
“What?” snapped Duck. Over his suit he wore a bridal gown that was a little too short on him, coming just past his knees. His mask was gone, replaced with a veil. Another black duck, presumably his ancestor, was hemming the dress. Lexi’s presumed ancestor was doing Duck’s makeup. Lexi herself was just lounging on the bed.
“Yo.” She said, chill.
“Oh my goodness are you guys here from the future too?” Lexi’s ancestor spun around quickly, messing up Duck’s makeup, causing Duck to loudly whine. “Hiiiiii! I’m Lola. When you get back to the future can you tell people I fought aliens?”
Duck’s ancestor spoke up. “No way. Zombies. Zombies are way more scary.”
“Hmmm, I don’t know. I mean if an alien bites you, you turn into an alien, and have you seen how scaley those guys are? Egh.”
“But zombies turn undead under the full moon! That’s like, every other night!”
“True! You know what? Just tell them I fought zombie aliens.”
“Uh, sure.” Agreed Tech, who wasn’t going to do that nor think about the context behind such a request.
“So-Duck-who-is-the-lucky-groom-or-bride? Are-you-really-getting-married-so-soon?” Rev channeled his inner theater kid, gave a fake sniffle, and leaned dramatically on Tech. “They-just-grow-up-so-fast.”
Duck’s ancestor waved him off. “I needed to rehem it after the crab incident. Or was it the lobster incident? No, crab incident. And Danger Duck agreed to be my model.”
“And I look darn good in a dress.” Smugly said Duck. He looked boastful, despite the long line of lipstick across his face. Tech looked to Lexi. She was taking photos with her hero communicator. He’d have to show her how to back those up to permeant storage when they got back.
Tech shook his head with a soft sigh. “Well, enjoy it while it lasts. Now that we’re all together again, we need to go home soon.” Everyone in the room except Tech and Rev groaned, like children being told to clean up their toys before a playdate ends.
Rev clicked his tongue, then turned to Tech. “Hey-Tech-I-have-a-question-and-I-guess-you-have-already-thought-of-this-before, what-with-you-being-a-super-genius-and-all, but-how-do-we-know-if-your-crime-solver-can-return-us-to-the-right-time-and-in-the-right-time-line?”
“I...uh...” Oh. Oh Tech hadn’t even considered the ramifications of his time machine being so far off. In theory it, the time machine should just add back what time it took away, however who’s to say it would still work given the circumstances.
“Well, heh. Maybe it will?”
Lexi perked her ears up, suddenly tense. “Tech, please don’t tell me YOU said maybe.”
“I want to double check my calculations, and the crime solver, just in case. I’d rather us not get lost in space time.” Tech glared at the device. Could he even accurately analyze it in this time period? “Shame there’s no other time travel device that I could compare mine to.”
“Wait, Bugs’ neighbor has one!” Said Lola with excitement.
“Has a what?” Asked Duck.
“A time travel thingy. She’s got one in her garage.”
“Oh cool, have you traveled in time before?”
“Well no. Unless you count…No. Nah. I haven’t. Daffy has though!”
“Oh right, the witch’s time travel portal in her garage.”
Tech decided not to comment on any of that statement. “Can you bring it over here? It would be safer to open a portal rather than use a ray.”
Duck’s ancestor stood up, sewing needles and pins cluttering carelessly to the ground around him. “Me and Lola can get it for you.”
“Oh-really? Thank-you!”
“-So long as you put it in there Daffy Duck defeated space zombies.”
“...Of-course-we-will, promise!” Chirped Rev. From the angle, Tech could see his fingers crossed, however didn’t say anything.
▽
Shortly thereafter, a portal sat in the living room. The area surrounding it was invisible, however became uncloaked once shut off. Lola and Daffy had brought it in, and awkwardly evaded every question sent to them on if the witch, Hazel, let them borrow it. Not his timeline, not his problem. Everyone had gathered in the living room, filling seats on both the couch and floor to listen to Tech.
Tech clapped once. “Okay, now what we need to do in order to get home is to dismantle the ray and the portal, then add parts of the ray to the portal in order for-“
“Hold on a minute.” Interrupted Duck. Tech fell silent. “Okay, raise your hand if you know anything about building a time machine.”
Tech raised his hand, along with, surprisingly, Bugs. Rev shook his hand in a ‘kinda’ gesture. Nobody else made a move.
“Sorry, Tech. I don’t think we can really help.” Lexi sounded apologetic yet didn’t look all that sorry.
“Wabadabada Sorry,” Slam sputtered, mouth full of pizza.
Tech sighed. It couldn’t be helped. “Fine. Rev, Bugs and I will-”
“Ehhhhh,” Bugs chewed on a carrot. “I built a time machine before, and both me and Daffy have gone back in time with it-”
“I did?”
“-but it wasn’t a ray, couldn’t return us to our original timeline, and I destroyed the machine and burned the blueprints after the incident.”
Lexi raised an eyebrow. “Just how many ‘incidents’ do you guys have around here?” The weary look Bugs gave her was an answer in it of itself.
“Fine.” Tech muttered. He turned to Rev. “You and I will-”
“Rev, look!” Tech and Rev turned to Lexi and Lola, who was holding up a beat up looking card game.
“Is-that-the-old-original-version-of-Uno?! Sorry-Tech-this-is-important!” And there went Rev, eagerly waiting for the chance to play Uno. Fine. Whatever. It’s not like they had to get home or anything. Tech let out a sigh and grabbed the toolbox.
▽
If Rev could talk someone’s ear off, Ace and Bugs could talk a town’s worth of citizens’ ears off. They both sat on the couch like how Tech originally found them, nibbling on their carrot-themed foods. Bugs would recount some impossibly amazing story, then Ace would say what he knows of the story and how it related to their everyday life, which would remind Bugs of another tale and so on and so forth. It had been going on for hours. HOURS.
On the bright side, Tech had taken apart the Crime Solver 3000. The only thing off had been the loose futuraism socket, which Tech didn’t mess with yet in case simply hitting the reverse would fix the problem. So far he still needed to empty out the portal’s mechanisms and, without fixing the socket, fill the portal’s frame with the ray’s tech. Then he would have to make sure the portal was stable for all of them to crawl through. And probably make Bugs promise to destroy this time machine as well, so that there weren’t any weird time paradoxes or anything. So much work. Ugh.
Tech looked up. Daffy, Lola and Duck were crowded around a photo album. Duck was pointing to various people. “Don’t know them. Don’t know them. They’re evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Don’t know. Evil. Not evil, but I hate them. Evil. Evil...” Tech decided to tune out that conversation. He looked to his right. Rev and Lexi were enamored with this century’s games and were engaging in competitive smack talk. Currently, they were at lighthearted “yo mama” jokes. Ace and Bugs were still talking. He could hear Slam and his ancestor still eating. Did anyone care about going home anymore? Well, most of them didn’t even know a thing about time travel technology, and so wouldn’t be much help, but it’s the principle of the matter.
The doorbell rang. Bugs got up to get it. Who could that be, they had everyone in their group together. As soon as the door opened, a gust of wind entered. And there, standing on the coffee table, staring at the carrot food, was Beep-beep.
“Pardon us.” Wile E.’s voice came from the door. He strode in without being invited inside. “We wanted to see if the time travel situation had been resolved.”
“Who are you?” Asked Bugs.
“I am Wile E. Coyote, super genius!” Bugs stared blankly. Wile E. sighed and pointed at Tech. “His ancestor.” Bugs gave a small noise of understanding, didn’t question the bird on his table, and went back to talking with Ace.
Wile E. strode over, holding himself proudly. He looked over the technology casually, but Tech could see many ideas churning in his head. He sat himself down next to Tech, the toolbox separating them. “Changing our ray to a portal are we?”
Tech nodded, however he had to ask, “You aren’t going to...y’know.” Tech’s eyes flickered from Wile E. to Beep-Beep, who had taken Rev’s place in gaming versus Lexi. Looks like he is winning.
“Tempting,” grumbled Wile E. He paused as he licked his chops. “But one I can overcome. Until this has been resolved, of course.”
Zipping over to them, Rev finally seemed to tire of playing games. “Heya-Tech’s-great-great-great-great-etc-grandpa! How’dya-find-us-anyway? Are-you-here-to-help-us? Have-you-built-a-time-machine-before? Are-you-going-to-try-to-chase-me-and-Beep-Beep-again? Do-you-have-regenerating-powers, I-mean-you-must-to-survive-that-crash-but-do-you?”
“Rev,” Tech warned wearily. Wile E., lost for words, was staring at Rev. His tail twitched. The silence lasted for a long few seconds. Rev leaned in, awaiting answers, while Tech quietly made plans for close quarters fight.
Eventually, Wile E. cleared his throat. “My apologies. I don’t get asked so many...questions...so often. You left the address in the computer, so I went out to check it out. The Road Runner, or Beep-Beep as you call him, followed me here. I have previously attempted to build a time machine, yet I admit I am bound by this time period’s technology. Still, I will assist with what I can. I am known for my inhuman resilience, and I have regenerated body parts that aren’t meant to be regenerated before, however as far as I know it is no super power.”
“Wow! That’s-so-cool!” Rev chirped excitedly, sounding so incredibly eager and full of energy that Wile E. was left stupefied again.
“Rev!” Tech said, bringing his attention back to him.
Giving a salute, Rev spun to face Tech. “Yes?”
“Can you disassemble the portal’s innerworkings and neatly organize the parts?”
“On-it!” and before anyone could move, Rev had taken select tools from the toolbox, such as several screwdrivers and a pair of tweezers, and parts began to seemingly appear from nowhere.
“Now Wile E.,” Tech looked up to his ancestor. He was watching Rev in awe. “Ahem. Wile E., you there?”
His ancestor shook himself out of it, quickly. “Yes, what?”
“We are going to need to build a motherboard of sorts, similar to this one that Rev has just taken out.” Tech gestured to the magic motherboard, where magic akin to wires connected to a gem. It glowed radioactively. “Then we can put it in the portal’s frame, put the parts back in that make the portal work, and it should allow us to get back to our own time.”
Rev appeared quickly by Tech’s side, holding out a screwdriver with a tiny head and the pair of tweezers. “Here, done-with-these-two-and-this-is-the-screwdriver-for-those-little-itty-bitty-screws-you-always-use!” Within the second that Tech took the tools with a firm grasp, Rev ran back to the portal.
“Thanks Rev,” Tech said without looking, and began to pick up the parts necessary to begin his project.
▽
It took a shorter time than anticipated to finish his part, now Tech only had to rearrange a few wires. He took a breath and looked up to let his eyes rest for a moment. Beep-Beep was wearing the helmet Tech made -of course he was- and Rev was now rearranging all the bolts and other stuff he took from the portal on the floor in a roughly portal shape. Wile E. was watching Rev in fascination, far enough away that Tech was sure he wasn’t a threat. Everyone else, including Slam and his ancestor, Taz, had headed to the kitchen for an early dinner.
Wile E. glanced over to Tech. “So, do you and this…Rev Runner often work together?”
“Sometimes!” Rev proclaimed cheerily, uncaring that the question was directed to Tech. “Other-times, he-bans-me-because-of-“ Rev did heavy air quotes “-‘Misuse-of-technology’.”
“Making a giant birdseed sandwich is not only a horrible misuse of my tech, it is an afront to nature.” At this sentence, Tech swore he saw Beep-Beep lick his beak in hunger, but due to his speed, Tech couldn’t say for sure.
Rev pouted, then threw himself across the couch. “Soooooo, Wile-E., how-do-you-sleep-in-a-stone-bed?” Wile E., who had been watching them with an expression Tech couldn’t name, looked up to Rev without malice in his eyes.
“Sleep?” jokingly asked Wile E., much in the same vein Tech would.
“Done!” Tech didn’t mean to interrupt but held up his finished product shamelessly anyway. “Rev, can you-?”
“Yep! Give-me-5-seconds-or-maybe-less-or-maybe-more-ah-you-get-the-expression!”
Seemingly before their eyes, the motherboard disappeared, and the wires and bolts and whatnots also disappeared into the portal. In seconds, the only evidence the portal was tampered with in the first place was the magic motherboard resting on the coffee table.
“Done! Everything-is-exactly-as-it-was-before-except-that-thingy-we-swapped-for-the-other-thingy-and-some-wires-I-had-to-change-around-slightly-so-it-fit-but-it-is-mostly-the-same-inside. Will-it-work-though?”
“One way to find out!” Tech looked around the machine. There were no lever nor buttons to push. “Er.”
From behind, Wile E. cleared his throat. “I believe it’s voice activated.”
Tech hunched his shoulders in embarrassment, more so when he heard Beep-Beep give his version of a laugh at his expense. Oh well, what genius hasn’t made mistakes?
“Show me the year 2772 ad!” The portal glowed an ominous purple, then opened up to a familiar scene. Tech’s lab appeared, all of his tools in the same out of order state he had left them in. His convenient clock on the wall that had both date and time showed the same day it was meant to be in their world; however, it was no longer the morning. It instead was the same time as where they were now, just after dinner time and an hour before Misty Breeze showed up for the evening report.
“Guys!” Tech covered his ears and Rev yelled from next to him. “We-got-the-portal-working!”
Everyone filed in and stared in awe. His team amazed he seemingly fixed the problem, as usual, and their ancestors in awe of the advanced technology in his lab.
Ace put a hand on his shoulder. “Way to go, Tech!”
“Thanks chief.”
Surprisingly, Danger was the first to move. He was now without the dress and veil, but still had that long lipstick line on his face. “Welp, nice to see y’all, but I sure am sick of listening to the sound of my own voice.”
“Hey!” shouted Daffy, indignantly.
“Peace!” And Duck leapt through to the lab, then made his way over in the direction of the bathroom, seemingly fine.
Thus, everyone else began to give much more heartfelt goodbyes to their ancestors. Lexi was trapped in a bone crushing hug by Lola, Ace was quietly talking to Bugs in a corner, Taz and Slam were both in tears as they shook each other’s hands.
As such, Tech followed suite and turned to his ancestor. “Thanks for the help back there.”
“Hmph. It was no issue for a super genius like me!”
“Still-though!” Rev butted in, his ancestor next to him. “You-were-a-big-help! Thank-you-so-so-so-so-much!” And Rev ran in before Tech could stop him and gave Wile E. a tight hug. Tech saw his ancestor’s eyes widen, arms stiffen and the pure shock written all across the poor coyotes body that lingered even when Rev and Beep-Beep ran off to say farewell to Bugs and Ace.
“You okay, Wile E.?”
It took another moment for the coyote to compose himself, but he was eventually able to answer. “Yes, I was just…caught unawares is all. Today has given me a lot to think about.”
“Hm? Considering changing your behavior around Beep-Beep?”
“Not particularly.”
“Fair enough.”
▽
Tech was the last through the portal after giving Bugs specific instructions on how to change the portal to it’s original state, and to destroy the technology possible to get back to his time. Seeing as no anomalies happened after the portal closed, Bugs must’ve kept true to his word.
“Hey Tech?” Tech turned to find Ace and Lexi. Lexi looked worn by all the social interaction with her high-spirited ancestor, whereas Ace looked a tired calm.
“Yeah?”
With a vicious smile, Ace put his hand on Tech’s shoulder. “Take care to make sure we aren’t awoken for another weird test experiment again, okay?”
“…aight Chief.”
And the bunnies headed off to their respective bedrooms.
A stomach growl brought Tech’s attention to Slam. “Slam hungry.”
“But-Slam-you’ve-already-eaten-so-much-today-and-“ Rev’s stomach interrupted him this time. Rev blinked twice. He hadn’t had a bite to eat all day, and it was already past dinner time. “You-know-what-Slam? Howabout-I-make-you-one-of-my-mountain-high-sandwich-subs?” Slam gave a cheer as he and Rev left in the direction of the kitchen, leaving Tech alone in his lab.
He gazed thoughtfully at his blueprints. He had the material to make another ray if he wanted to, he just had to be sure to tighten the futurarism , figure out why they appeared next to their ancestors, and perhaps make trackers or teleporters for the team should a similar situation arose. Despite the ideas and material available, Tech yawned and went to lock up his lab.
Maybe in the future’s past, they will reunite with their ancestors. For now, Tech was off to get more sleep than three.