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Chapter Text

“They want to start a fight,” the Doctor explained. “Whatever they say, do not react.”

“But why do they wanna fight?” Rose protested. “We haven’t done anything to offend them, have we?”

Jack shrugged. Truthfully, he wasn’t particularly interested in the answer. The Savachanlars wanted to fight? Well, of course they did. He didn’t know much about this species, but their love for combat was quite famous. And Jack wouldn’t have minded giving them a run for their money, had he travelled with any other people. There were sometimes interesting prizes to be won, in Savachanlars fights. But neither Rose nor the Doctor would approve.

And that was the heart of the matter, wasn’t it? Right now, Jack didn’t care that much for prizes. He wanted his travelling companions to like him. Which was a bit pathetic, really, because first, what kind of stupid goal was that? and second, there was no way he would ever reach it.

To be fair, Jack amended to himself, Rose probably liked him well enough. But she was naïve; he had charmed her way too easily. And although she was friendly now, she didn’t trust him completely. She hadn’t forgotten his attempt to con her, and there were many things in Jack’s past that would utterly disgust her, if she were to ever learn about them.

The Doctor knew. The Doctor had barely needed one good look at Jack to understand what kind of man he was, really. The former Time Agent was still amazed that he had been allowed to board the Tardis at all. The Doctor had mainly invited Jack in to please Rose, that much was obvious.

However much Jack ached to prove himself to his companions, he knew that it was doomed to fail. He had known it from the beginning, really. The clever thing to do would have been to run away as fast as possible, but he had stupidly allowed himself to stay with them for a while, and… and now he really didn’t want to leave. He liked both Rose and the Doctor much more than he should have. Even though they would never return his feelings. Even though they were obviously in love with each other and had no room for a third person.

And Jack couldn’t blame them. He wasn’t angry with his companions; he was angry with himself. If he had been a better man... If he had sometimes listened to the inner voice that reminded him he should care for the consequences of his actions... If he hadn’t spent years carefully cultivating a mask that had now become etched in his skin, just like the gas mask on that kid’s face…

Shut up. Just stop thinking about that.

But he was still angry. The Savachanlars wanted a fight? Yeah, Jack wouldn’t have minded giving them a good one, just to blow off some steam.

It was a bad idea, he knew it. Besides, the Doctor had ordered him not to do it anyway. Jack held back a sigh and tried to focus on what Rose was saying.

“And we landed on a place where everyone wants to fight for what reason, exactly?”

“Humph,” the Time Lord grunted. “The Tardis took us here.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I noticed, thanks. But I distinctly remember you saying something about a peaceful visit on a planet where we could taste amazing cakes that are, and I quote, ‘usually not poisonous to humans’. So where are the cakes? Or the peaceful aliens, for that matter?”

The Doctor harrumphed. “We might not have landed exactly when I thought we would.”

“Not exactly, meaning?”

“Maybe a few centuries late,” the Time Lord grudgingly admitted. “But it’s not my fault! See, Savachanlars used to fight only amongst themselves. How was I supposed to know that they considered it an honour to fight aliens now?”

Rose shook her head. “You don’t actually know how to fly your Tardis, do you?”

“Course I do! I’m a great pilot!” the Doctor protested.

“Yeah, right. Sometimes I wonder how you even got the licence for this thing.”

“Well, I might not have obtained the licence, per se,” the alien conceded. “But my point still stands!”

“What? No, it doesn’t! What kind of pilot doesn’t even have a licence?”

Jack tried to force the corners of his mouth to move upwards as the Doctor replied, feigning a mortal offense, but it was hard. He usually enjoyed his companions’ banter a lot, and on any another day, he would have joined it, flirting outrageously with them both, doing his best to make Rose laugh and desperately trying to get a smile from the Doctor, but…

He had been dreaming, that night. About Gray. About their mother.

x-x-x

He had become too confident. Jack was almost seventeen now, and he was really good at telling stories. He could make his mother happy with tales about Gray’s wonderful adventures at his boarding school, he could keep the neighbours from worrying about his mother barely leaving the house by explaining that she was working very hard on a new art project, and he had recently discovered that he could kiss whoever he wanted, if he just found the right lie to tell them.

Things were getting better. Mother had fewer episodes, these days. She usually knew who Jack was, she often remembered to give him food, and she was almost affectionate, sometimes.

He had become too confident.

It had been ages since she had last blamed him for Gray’s death. Mainly because Jack had managed to convince her that he was still alive. He still felt guilty about that, of course, but… what was the alternative? The neighbours had been suspicious, recently, especially after the really bad days, when Jack had bruises that he couldn’t hide.

Lies made everything better. Who needed the truth, when Jack was so good at telling everyone exactly what they wanted to hear?

But good things couldn’t last. He was still young and naïve, back then. He didn’t understand that yet.

He had become too confident, and that was a mistake.

The day had been great. He had met William in the parc, they had kissed under a tree, and they had even explored each other a little through their clothes. He couldn’t wait to tell Nina about it – maybe the three of them could go on a date together? Nina certainly seemed to find William hot.

The sight of his mother, completely dishevelled and wearing only a nightdress, stopped him dead in his daydreaming. She was outside! She couldn’t go outside like that!

Jack ran towards her, but she was already in the middle of the street.

“Is there something wrong, Mother?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice calm. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. He just needed to get her somewhere more hidden, and–

“You lied to me!” the woman yelled. “You monster! You told me he was fine! But he’s not fine, and it’s all your fault!”

“Mother, please, go back inside,” Jack prayed, trying to will tears away from his eyes. “Just go back to the house, okay? I’ll explain everything.”

“Liar! You won’t explain, you’ll just feed me more lies! Ungrateful bastard!” She paused. “It should have been you,” she said. Her voice was much calmer all of a sudden, but her eyes were crazier than Jack had ever seen them. “They should have taken you that day, not Gray. Gray would never lie to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack murmured. The fight against tears was a lost cause now. “I’m sorry, Mam, I’m so, so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay, lad.” Jack’s head bolted upright. But it wasn’t Mother; it was the old Mrs Kryous, the nice woman from across the street. “I think your mother had something of a shock, but I’m sure everything will be okay. Why don’t you both come to my house for some tea? It might help with your nerves.”

The young boy frantically shook his head. “That’s very kind of you, Mrs Kryous, but there’s no need for that, I’ll just bring her back to our place and–”

“Nonsense,” the grey-haired lady interrupted sternly. “You’re both clearly unwell, and I want to help.”

“You can’t,” Jack murmured. “No one can.”

But she wasn’t listening; she had put a friendly hand on his mother’s shoulder and was trying to calm her. “Now, now. What seems to be the problem, dearie?” she asked softly.

“It’s him!” Mother shouted, pointing his finger in Jack’s direction. “It’s all his fault! My son is dead because of him!”

Jack stayed frozen for a few seconds. She had said it. Yelled it, even. And Mrs Kryous had heard, and most of the neighbours would have heard, too.

He looked away from the nice elderly woman’s face, too afraid of what he would find there. He needed to move. The young boy ran as fast as he could, blinded by tears. It was all over. People would know, he would be sent away, and his mother… he couldn’t even complete the thought.

He had become too confident. He had started to relax, to trust that things would turn out okay – how very foolish of him.

Years later, he was repeating that mistake in the Tardis.

“And you think there’ll be no retaliation? You’re becoming really confident, Jack,” Rose teased when he nicked a piece of fruit from her plate. With a devilish grin, she brought her face closer to Jack, distractingly close, in fact, her mouth was only inches from the former Time Agent’s face… and her hand suddenly moved to pinch the flesh under Jack’s ribs.

“Hey, it tickles!” he protested. Rose laughed, and started to tickle him in earnest, and Jack made a show of complaining, despite privately thinking he wanted to feel more of her hands on his skin.

They were in the Tardis kitchen. The Doctor was watching, pretending to be annoyed by their antics, but his eyes were betraying him – he didn’t mind much. In fact, he looked almost envious.

“Hey, Rose, d’you think the Doctor is ticklish?” Jack asked. “Why don’t we team up and find out?”

“You’re still the one who stole my dessert, not him,” the young woman argued, but there was little heat in her voice, and she was already turning towards the Time Lord. Jack felt a twinge of… something – those two were so obviously in love with each other…

And the Doctor’s grumblings about Time Lords’ biology and the absurdity of tickling was completely failing to hide how soft he was for the young blonde human who was now almost on his lap.

That scene had taken place on the previous evening, and Jack had loved everything about it. Traveling with these two wonderful persons, he was feeling more relaxed that he had been in years.

That couldn’t last.

The setting changed; they were on the beach now. His father was telling him to look after Gray, and Jack was promising that yes, he would, and then…

He screamed his brother’s name, he searched everywhere, but nothing he did could make a difference. He had let go of the little boy’s hand. It was too late.

From a distance, Rose and the Doctor were watching him, their eyes full of contempt.

“I can’t believe I almost thought you were a good person,” Rose spat. She looked disgusted.

“I didn’t,” the Doctor said. “I always knew he was trouble. Told you so, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” Rose admitted. “We should get rid of him.”

“The sooner the better,” the Time Lord approved. “He’s completely useless. I’ve tried to teach him a thing or two about Tardis repairs, but even with that, he’s rubbish. Can’t do anything right.”

Jack could only watch as they walked away, hand in hand. Part of him wanted to plead for himself, but what was there to say? They were right. He was an empty shell. Pretty face, pretty words, nothing inside. Useless. Expert at keeping up appearances, but couldn’t do anything right for anyone.

x-x-x

“Hey, Jack, ’re you with us?” Rose’s cheerful voice startled him out of the memory of his dream, and he plastered a smile on his face before answering.

“Sorry, I might have spaced out,” he conceded.

“Well, you’d better start paying attention, ‘cause the Doctor just said people around here were really determined to find trouble, and we don’t want that,” Rose replied. “Or not too much, at least,” she amended.

Jack noticed that were now crossing a busy place and being watched by a growing number of Savachanlars. Some had even started following them as they walked.

“Whatever they tell you, don’t let them provoke you into a fight,” the Doctor said forcefully.

“Why, are you afraid your friends would lose?” one of the surrounding Savachanlars intervened smugly.

The Time Lord’s answering glare was fierce, but it wasn’t enough to deter the small group that had formed.

“We’re just on our way to the city centre, we don’t mean to offend anyone,” Rose said, looking uneasy.

But her statement only provoked laughter.

“Don’t you want to impress your young companion?” another Savachanlar asked Jack. “If you fight me, you could obtain this beautiful necklace – wouldn’t she like that?”

Rose’s eyes shone despite herself. She clearly found the necklace pretty.

“Don’t be daft, Sourv,” another one intervened. “It’s not the young one he wants to impress, it’s the older one.”

“The older one,” the Doctor said irritably, his eyes shouting daggers, “doesn’t want Jack fighting anyone.”

“Yeah, because you don’t think he could handle it, do you?” the one his friend had called Sourv answered snidely. “You don’t trust him, and well, looking at him… I probably wouldn’t either.”

“Just ignore them and keep walking,” the Time Lord ordered. “We’ll reach the city centre soon, and they’ll have to stop – ritual fights are forbidden inside of the Green Walls.”

Jack clenched his fists. Just ignore them. Of course. Just ignore them. They’re right, but we’ll keep pretending that everything’s okay. Just ignore them. Just keep pretending you don’t know that if it weren’t for Rose, you’d have been dropped on some backward planet first chance the Doctor got.

The Savanchalars were surrounding them, and they were standing close enough to be threatening, but they weren’t actually preventing the foreigners from moving forward, Jack noticed. Intimidation tactic, certainly.

“They can’t physically attack us,” the Doctor said. “There are laws against that – they can only fight us if we challenge them or if we attack first.”

The Savachanlars booed. “What a party pooper,” one of them spat.

“Waste of time,” another grumbled.

“They’re probably boring and weak anyway, all three of them.”

“Are you kidding? One of the males has a wristband – they could be Time Agents!”

There was a ripple of whispers, and suddenly, every eye was on Jack.

“I was a Time Agent, yes,” he declared. “My companions aren’t and never were.”

“You’re a Time Agent, and you won’t fight any of us? What a coward!”

Colourful insults, now all directed at Jack, were starting to resonate around, and he dug his nails into the flesh of his own hands.

The Doctor and Rose looked angry, and they were both arguing with some of the Savachanlars, but Jack could barely hear what they were saying.

There were other things for him to hear.

“You’re a bastard and a liar, just like every one of your kind.”

“He was a Time Agent, he said. What happened? Became useless?

“You would betray your own brother and pretend you’re the victim!”

You would betray your own brother and pretend you’re the victim.

Jack didn’t think, barely even breathed – he turned to the Savachanlar who had just spoken, a tall one with purple horns, and declared, “No, I wouldn’t. But I will fight you.”

A wave of excitement ran through the crowd.

“What? Jack, no!” Rose exclaimed, sounding upset.

“Be sensible, lad,” the Doctor ordered angrily.

“What if I don’t want to?” Jack replied, looking at the Time Lord challengingly.

“You heard the stranger, people,” the Savachanlar with the purple horns shouted, “and he wants to fight me!”

There were cheers.

“What will the stakes be? What do you want, human?”

“Three necklaces like the one Rose liked,” Jack proclaimed.

“Please don’t!” It was Rose’s voice. “I didn’t even really like it! That’s not worth a fight, Jack!”

“Those necklaces are rather pricy, actually,” the Savachanlar that had been challenged retorted. He looked thrilled. My name is Ksiba, and if you win this fight, I will give you the jewels you seek. Now, what’s your name, human? And what do you have to offer?

“Captain Jack Harkness. And I can offer one day of kulhizmet.”

The declaration provoked excited whispers. The Savachanlars had apparently not expected him to know about that practice.

Ksiba’s eyes were shining. “A Time Agent in kulhizmet… now that’s interesting. But one day isn’t enough, human. I’m offering valuable jewels. I want six days of kulhizmet.”

“Six days? In your dreams. A day and a half.”

“Five days.”

“Two.”

“Four.”

“Two and a half.”

“I won’t go below three. Three necklaces, three days of kulhizmet – doesn’t that sound fair?”

“Fine,” Jack conceded. “It’s not like you’d get it anyway. I have no intention to lose.”

The Savachanlar laughed. “We’ll see about that.” Then, louder, he proclaimed, “You all heard it, folks! I, Ksiba of Pirewenkli, will fight the human Captain Jack Harkness! The stakes are three days of kulhizmet versus three necklaces.”

“Does the human know the rules of our ritual fights?” another Savachanlar intervened.

“No weapons and no attempt to inflict permanent damage. Death being a rather permanent issue, I believe that means no killing one’s adversary. And my friends are not allowed to intervene. Did I forget anything?” Jack’s words were not exactly rude, but his tone was smug and challenging.

Ksiba was looking satisfied, but the old-looking Savachanlar who had chimed in retorted, “I’ve seen Time Agents fighting before. No attempt at cheating will be tolerated. I want his companions under close surveillance.” Despite their protestations, other aliens firmly grabbed both Rose and the Doctor to restrain their arms. Both were looking downright murderous, and Jack gulped. Maybe he should have taken a bit more time to think things through.

But it was too late now.

“I, Trebair of Xive, will act as referee,” the old Savachanlar declared. “There’ll be a winner when one of you either passes out or surrenders. Let the combat begin!”

x-x-x

Jack understood very quickly that he had made a mistake. He had fought Savachanlars before, but years ago, and after months of intensive training sessions in the Time Agency. His training was far away now, and Ksiba was much faster than any of the Savachanlars he had fought back then. Or was Jack just slower?

Either way, things didn’t look good. His left arm had taken a particularly vicious hit and Jack could barely move it.

“Is that all you’ve got, Time Agent?” Ksiba taunted.

The human had managed to land a few punches, but the alien appeared mostly unaffected, while each respiration was bringing pain in Jack’s chest.

“Still enough to kick your ass,” he answered defiantly, but his voice was weaker than he would have liked it and the surrounding Savachanlars laughed.

Furious with everyone, but mostly with himself, Jack threw himself at Ksiba again. His fist met the alien’s jaw, making him grunt, but the price was high. Sharp claws dug into the flesh of Jack’s abdomen, and he staggered.

Fuck.

Had he always been so slow? It was just a Savachanlar! He should have been able to win easily! Or maybe not easily, but still – he had fought some of them in the past, and been successful! Sure, he hadn’t slept much on the previous night, unable and unwilling to go back to bed after his nightmare. Sure, he did not have the advantage of the Time Agency pills right now, and his physical abilities were not boosted. But still…

He would not show weakness. Not in front of Rose and the Doctor.

He would ignore the pain, win this damned fight, offer Rose the pretty necklaces, get a smile from her and an appreciative nod from the Doctor, whose eyes only ever softened when he saw Rose looking happy, and...

And then what? You’re an idiot, Harkness. A sentimental fool. Sure, you like them, but you shouldn’t get too attached. It would only hurt more when they leave you.

Jack didn’t care much for consequences anymore. He recklessly moved closer to Ksiba, knowing it would leave his left side exposed again; but if he played his cards right, maybe he would manage to get the alien in a headlock.

You’re not thinking clearly. That’s a stupid, dangerous move, with little chances of success, the thing that sounded most like a reasonable voice in Jack’s mind informed him.

But he was too angry with himself to listen to it.

And for a moment, it looked almost like his reckless choice would pay off. He had a good grip on Ksiba’s shoulder, and he just needed to…

Blinding pain. His already injured left arm had been violently twisted. Jack felt his head spinning, and tried to free himself, but he could barely understand what was happening as sparks danced before his eyes. When his vision stabilised, he realised that Ksiba now had him pinned to the ground. Jack tried throwing his hips upward to threaten the alien’s balance, but every movement was sending new waves of pain in his arm and abdomen.

“Oh, delicious. Do keep squirming, human,” Ksiba whispered in Jack’s ear. “I think I’m gonna enjoy having you in kulhizmet a lot.”

The tone brought a shiver down Jack’s spine, and he tried harder to free himself, to no end. Sharp rocks were digging painfully in his chest, and he knew he was probably bleeding in several places now. At least he was wearing black – maybe the colour would hide the extent of the damage to Rose and the Doctor.

“Do you surrender, Time Agent?” the Savachanlar asked loudly.

Jack could barely move. He would keep trying, though, because…

Why? Why would you keep trying? No one cares, and it’s too late – your friends have already seen how much of a failure you are.

The human closed his eyes. “I surrender,” he murmured.

Chapter Text

“What did you say, Time Agent?” Ksiba asked smugly.

Jack threw him a hateful look. “I surrender,” he repeated.

The Savachanlars cheers resonated all around him, and the human looked away from where he knew Rose and the Doctor and Rose to be, afraid of the mixture of disgust and pity he would most likely find on their faces.

Trebair, the old Savanchalar who had appointed himself as referee, loudly proclaimed the outcome of the fight, reminding everyone that Jack would now spend three days as Ksiba’s kulhizmet.

Still pinned to the ground, the human felt his stomach twisting and hoped he would manage not to throw up.

“Jack is in no condition to work. He will not be anyone’s kulhizmet.” The Doctor’s voice had been loud and forceful, and every eye turned to him.

“Stay out of this, human,” Ksiba retorted with contempt. “I won. I will have the Time Agent as kulhizmet. There is nothing you can do about that.” He released his hold on Jack to stand in front of the Doctor, his posture challenging.

“I am not human,” the Doctor replied, his eyes shooting daggers, “and there are many things I can do. I acknowledge that you won this fight, but there is no way I’m letting Jack anywhere near you before I have a look at his injuries.”

“There’s no need for that,” Ksiba protested. “We have perfectly competent physicians. You and your little yellow-haired companion should leave.”

“How much do your physicians know about human biology?” the Time Lord asked.

“I’ve read a book about old Earth mammals once!” a young Savanchalar intervened excitedly. “They eat something called ‘grass’ and have four stomachs!”

“Are you serious? Human beings aren’t bloody cows!” Rose exclaimed.

The young Savachanlar seemed to shrink under the combined glares of Rose, the Doctor and Ksiba, who had clearly realised that the intervention was not helping his argument.

“Like the Doctor said – there’s no way we’re leaving Jack with you,” Rose continued heatedly. She had moved towards her injured friend as she spoke and was trying to ease him into a sitting position. Her hands were soft and gentle, and Jack closed his eyes, wishing he could focus on them and forget everything else. “Doctor, please come here and help us,” the young woman added. “I’m not sure I can carry Jack to the Tardis on my own.”

“Carry him? And you think I would just let you?” Ksiba exclaimed belligerently. “You will absolutely not be allowed to take the Time Agent away before he served as my kulhizmet,” he declared. “Your kind can’t be trusted. How do we know you wouldn’t simply run away?”

“I have a proposition to make.” Every eye turned to Trebair, whose voice and general demeanour carried an aura of authority. “If the one who claims not to be human is indeed a doctor, he should be allowed to treat the kulhizmet’s injuries.” The old Savachanlar raised a hand to stop Ksiba’s outraged exclamations. “But,” he added, “we need a guarantee. The youngling” – a finger pointed at Rose – “shall remain in Savachanlar’s custody until Ksiba’s kulhizmet is returned to him in full health.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Don’t even think of it!”

The Doctor and Jack had spoken at the same time. Ksiba also looked rather dubious.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Come on, guys. Don’t you think the ‘youngling’ might have an opinion of her own? My name is Rose Tyler, by the way, and I am not a child, thank you very much,” she added, looking at Trebair. “I’m old enough to see that your proposition makes sense. The Doctor will tend to Jack’s injuries, and I’ll stay here with you, if you can promise no one will try to make me eat grass.”

“What do human creatures actually eat?” the young Savanchalar who had spoken earlier asked enthusiastically. He now held a notebook and a laser pencil, Jack noticed.

“Shut up, Tipnum,” Ksiba intervened before Rose had a chance to consider answering. The Savachanlar then snatched the laser pencil and the notebook from his smaller counterpart’s hands, and added, “if you want to see those again, you’d better stop annoying me.”

Tipnum looked devastated but did not dare protesting. His skin was green, and his claws had been cut, which, from what Jack remembered about Savachanlar culture, indicated a rather low social status.

Ksiba was still talking. “I acknowledge your wisdom and experience, Trebair, but in this case, I think you might have failed to consider a few elements. From his own admission, the human called Captain Jack Harkness is a Time Agent–”

“Was,” Jack interrupted.

The Savachanlar ignored him completely. “He is a Time Agent, and the yellow-haired one is not. She’s much less valuable. What if the two older humans decide to leave her here and simply never come back? I would lose a lot over the exchange.”

“Still not human,” the Doctor answered darkly, “and I would never abandon Rose. Also, you should know that she is a thousand times worth your sorry hide.”

Ksiba sniggered. “Yeah, right. But that’s not the point. You could still leave with the Time Agent and decide not to come back. You ‘would never abandon her’, you say, but I have only your word for it, and I see no reason to trust you.”

“Do not make a fool of yourself, Ksiba of Pirewenkli,” Trebair intervened. “You have seen the way these aliens look at each other. The yellow-haired one is special to them. They would not leave her. Besides, if they did, I am certain you could sell her on the Achanlar market for a good price. Most likely more than what you would gain from three days of kulhizmet, actually.”

“She’s still not a Time Agent,” Ksiba grumbled, his expression sour.

“This debate is pointless,” Jack intervened. His voice wasn’t as strong as he would have liked it to be, and the fact that he was barely standing, half of his weight supported by Rose, did not help. Still, he had to try. “I appreciate your efforts, Trebair of Xive, and I am grateful for your proposition.” Despite the pain, he accompanied his declaration with the complicated hand gesture Savachanlars used to show respect to elders, and noticed several appreciative looks from the crowd. “And, Doctor, it’s nice of you to care, but I’m fine, really. Or, well, I’ll be perfectly fine very soon. There’s no need to endanger Rose because of me. You should just go back to the Tardis with her. I simply need some rest – I’ll be ready to work for Ksiba in no time.”

“What?” Rose exclaimed incredulously. “You’re badly hurt, Jack. Stop trying to protect me! I can handle myself just fine.”

“And we do not have the equipment to heal you, Jack Harkness,” Trebair said.

“Can you guarantee that no harm would come to Rose, should she stay with you while I care for Jack’s injuries?” the Doctor asked, looking intently at the older Savachanlar.

“Yes, I can,” Trebair declared. “I swear on my honour that your companion will not be subjected to any mistreatment while in our custody.”

“It’s really not necessary,” Jack tried to protest, but he was silenced by Rose’s glare. And she was swaying a little, or maybe the ground was? Whatever it was, the motions were distracting, and Jack had to focus to stay on his feet, because really, why was everything twirling around him? It was annoying.

“You’re shaking like a leaf, and you look like you’re about to faint.” The young woman’s voice was a mixture of anger and worry. “I’ll be fine with the Savachanlars for a few days. Won’t I, Doctor?”

The Time Lord pinched his lips. “I don’t like that,” he admitted, “but I suppose that’s the best solution for now. We’ll be back as soon as possible, Rose.”

“You better,” Ksiba grunted, taking a threatening stance. “If you’re not back in two days, I’m selling this one on the Achanlar market.”

“You will do no such thing, young Ksiba,” Trebair retorted before even the Doctor could say anything. “I gave my word that no harm would come to their companion. If they are not back within one full rotation of the moons, then yes, you may sell her, because it would mean that the aliens have breached their promise first. But two days is not a reasonable delay.”

Age was very important in Savachanlar culture, Jack remembered. By calling the mature-looking Ksiba “young”, Trebair was most likely issuing a warning, and subtly reminding everyone of his own importance as an elder.

“How long is a rotation of the moons, around this planet?” Rose asked.

“Something like three weeks in your terms, give or take a few days,” the Doctor answered. “But you certainly won’t be here for that long.” The Time Lord paused, and added, “Thank you for your promise, Trebair of Xive. I take everyone here as my witnesses – you have guaranteed my companion’s safety for a full rotation of the moons, on your honour. Rest assured, me and Jack will be back long before that delay.”

The old Savachanlar nodded. Ksiba still looked rather unhappy but did not say anything else. The following movements were a bit of a blur to Jack, and before he knew what was happening, the Doctor had replaced Rose by his side and was helping him walk away.

“But I… Rose…” Jack protested feebly.

“Hush,” the Doctor said. “She’ll be fine. Focus on the road. You’re with me now.”

Chapter Text

Jack knew he shouldn’t have done it. “Whatever they tell you, don’t let them provoke you into a fight,” the Doctor had said. Why couldn’t Jack just listen and obey? His arm hurt. His head too. And his chest. How pathetic was he? The Time Lord would leave him as soon as possible, and Jack couldn’t blame him. He deserved it.

“Don’t worry, lad.” The Doctor’s voice was unusually soft. “We’ll be there soon.”

Jack almost wanted to tell him not to bother. But he knew why the alien was helping – to get Rose back as soon as possible, obviously. If it weren’t for her, Jack would simply have been abandoned right there.

Maybe not¸ a voice in his head pointed out. He insisted to look at your injuries before there was any talk of Rose staying behind. And he could simply have refused to leave her at all. Jack was still shocked it hadn’t been the case.

But the Doctor takes care of people in need, the voice insisted. The idea of being a person in need made Jack grimace, but he had to concede the point. The Doctor would likely feel guilty about leaving him injured on an alien planet. He only planned to to drop him somewhere once he was certain the human was back to health.

The Time Lord probably thought that he was doing Jack a kindness, that he was being merciful – but that just made it all even crueller.

It would have made more sense to leave Jack right there. It might have made being abandoned slightly less difficult, too. And the former Time Agent would have been fine, eventually. Probably. Granted, he wasn’t very fit right now, but this planet wasn’t too bad. He’d do his time as kulhizmet, sleep rough for a few days, try to heal some of his injuries, and find a way to charm someone who could have a use for his talents.

But maybe the Doctor knew that, the human realised. Maybe the Time Lord wanted to punish him. Maybe the Tardis would drop him in a far less hospitable place.

You’re being completely irrational. You almost annihilated the human race, and he still saved your life, the vaguely sensible voice in Jack’s head pointed. Saved your life, and then offered you a place on board his ship. Did the Doctor ever do anything to make you think he would enjoy hurting people? Besides, you do realise that he needs you to get better in order to get Rose back, right?

But he warned me, his anxiety replied. He told me not to get him or Rose in trouble with my big mouth, and what did I just do?

“I’m sorry,” Jack rasped. “I’m sorry, Doctor, I…” He wasn’t sure what to say in his defence, but he had to try something.

“Save your breath,” the Time Lord interrupted. The words hit Jack like a punch in the guts. He considered asking the Doctor to turn around and to bring him back to the Savachanlars. It wasn’t right that the alien should force himself to help a useless human who couldn’t even obey a direct order from the owner of the ship in which he currently travelled. But the former soldier couldn’t make himself utter the words. The arm around his waist and the hand on his shoulder were the only things maintaining him upright, and he didn’t want them to disappear. Not when they felt so soft, and comforting, almost affectionate. These arms, these hands, they reminded Jack of a long-lost tenderness. When he closed his eyes, it was too easy to imagine that the Doctor cared for him, and he would enjoy the illusion as long as he could.

“We’ll talk in the Tardis,” the alien added. Jack’s stomach twisted again. But he wasn’t in any position to protest.

“Where are you dropping me?” Jack managed to ask once they finally reached the ship’s console room.

“Dropping you?” the Doctor repeated, frowning. “I’m not dropping you anywhere.”

“Oh.” The human wasn’t sure how to react. “Well, er… I guess I’ll just go to my room then.” He paused. He had assumed the Time Lord would leave him in front of a hospital somewhere and jump in time to get him back once he had been treated. But maybe that was not necessary – Jack could take care of himself, after all. He didn’t need nurses fussing around.

“I must have a first aid kit somewhere,” he mumbled, trying to take a few steps on his own. He most certainly didn’t, but maybe the Tardis would agree to provide one. Although her telepathic circuits were unlike anything Jack had ever seen before, he was slowly finding ways to interact with the sentient machine. And she often felt more forgiving than her owner.

“You’re not going to your room.” The Time Lord’s voice was forceful.

“Sorry,” Jack immediately said. “Do you need me to help with something? I’m not sure I’d be at my best with Tardis maintenance right now, but I can surely –”

“Don’t be daft, Captain. I’m taking you to the med-bay, and I’m taking care of your injuries. Also, I’m definitely checking you for brain damage. Tardis maintenance? Really? You think that’d be on my mind right now?” The Doctor was frowning deeply and looked somewhat upset.

As for Jack, he was probably doing a rather good impression of a goldfish, he realised after a few seconds. He tried to at least close his mouth. The smart thing to do would have been answering something, but words had escaped his control.

“You, er… there’s… that’s…”

Brilliant, Harkness. Perfectly clear and articulate, a voice in his head scoffed. He would have slapped himself. Couldn’t get anything right, could he?

“You don’t need to bother,” he finally managed to croak. “I mean, I appreciate, really, but I… it’s okay, I'm sure I can…”

Jack’s voice was progressively drowned by the impressive glare of a furious Time Lord. “You can barely walk on your own. I’m taking care of you, and that’s not negotiable.”

The human could only nod. “Okay,” he murmured. “Er, thanks. I’m… I’m really grateful. And sorry. I mean…”

He trailed off again as he noticed that the alien looked aggravated by his words rather than soothed. Staying quiet was starting to look like a better option. Especially since the console room was getting a little fuzzy. Had it been fuzzy before? Jack wasn’t sure. There was something blurry about the Doctor too, and that was weird, because the Doctor wasn’t usually blurry. Strong arms, and a sharp jaw, and blue eyes that pierced your soul – nothing blurry about any of that. Dangerous, definitely, and sexy as hell, but blurry? Jack needed to ask, because that was intriguing, but his mouth was suddenly very far away, and the room was spinning, and–

And his face was now very close to the Doctor’s face. Jack blinked. The angle was odd. What had just happened? They had both been standing, but now, he was… oh. The Time Lord was carrying him. Bridal-style. Well, that was embarrassing.

But also nice, the human couldn’t help to notice. He could smell the Doctor, he realised, leather and spice and something mysterious that was making Jack long to keep breathing that smell forever.

“Welcome back, Captain,” the Time Lord said, and Jack could feel the rumble of his chest.

“I just fainted, didn’t I?”

“Yup,” the Doctor confirmed.

Great. Because he hadn’t made a fool of himself enough for one day already. Jack groaned. At least it had apparently only lasted a few seconds – they were barely out of the console room. “Sorry, again,” he muttered. “You can put me down now.”

“Nope,” the Doctor simply replied, and he kept walking towards the med-bay.

An hallucination, then. A very vivid dream. Something to do with brain damage, maybe. There was no way the Time Lord would act that way for someone like Jack… right?

Unless he wants something in return.

But that didn’t make sense either – there was nothing Jack had that the Doctor could need or want. Still, the younger man had to ask.

“Why?” he murmured as they stepped into a bright room full of medical devices.

“Like I said, you can barely walk – faster that way,” the Doctor answered lightly.

“No, I…” I didn’t mean to ask why you’re carrying me, although that’s a good question too, I’d have thought it felt too intimate for your taste, but… “Why are you helping me?” he finally blurted. “Why are you… kind? What do you want?”

The Time Lord stilled. There was something frightening in his ancient eyes and Jack suddenly regretted his questions.

“I want you to get better,” the Doctor answered tonelessly. “No hidden agenda.” He looked almost hurt, the human realised as he was slowly deposited on a medical bed. Was the alien offended? But Jack’s question was only logical – no one was caring for someone else without expecting something in return. Not when there were other options, easier options. Some people didn’t like to admit it, and maybe there were a few fools who were still naïve enough to be genuinely kind – Jack had a feeling Rose might fall into that category, although he had to admit she was far from stupid – but the Doctor was usually rather blunt. And he certainly wasn’t a fool. Or was he?

“Why?” Jack insisted. “I just disobeyed a direct order from you and ended up endangering Rose. No one would blame you for wanting to be done with me.”

The Doctor shook his head. “It wasn’t your finest moment, sure, but you’re still my companion.”

Oh. Really? “But you don’t even like me,” Jack blurted before he had time to think it through.

“Who said that?” There was no mistaking it this time – the alien looked upset.

“I… you… I thought you’d only taken me on board to please Rose,” Jack muttered, feeling perfectly stupid.

“You’re dumber than you look, then,” the Doctor replied coldly.

The former Time Agent gulped. The Time Lord sounded angry, and hurt. How badly had Jack misinterpreted the situation? “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean…”

“I’m not mad at you, lad,” the alien interrupted. “Not your fault that this regeneration isn’t much of a people’s person.” Jack had no time to ask any follow-up question about that cryptic remark, because the Doctor added, “well, to be clear, I’m still mad about the fight. But we’ll get Rose back, don’t worry. And for the rest…” the Time Lord shrugged, but the gesture appeared forced, somehow. Like the alien was trying much too hard to look casual “Yeah, not your fault I’m bad with emotions,” he muttered. The tone was almost apologetic.

The only answer the human managed was a nod. His heart was in his throat, and he had succeeded in maintaining a sitting position through the exchange, but things were twirling around the edges of his vision, and that was probably a bad sign.

Fortunately, the Doctor decided to take matters – and Jack’s clothes – into his own hands. Lots of his fantasies started that way, with the Time Lord slowly undressing him. Right now, though, Jack couldn’t even find the strength to make some sort of flirty joke.

Cold fingers lifted his shirt, and the human had to suppress a hiss of pain – in places, it seemed that the fabric had almost been successful in merging with Jack’s injuries.

The Time Lord’s breath was tickling the naked skin on Jack’s neck. A very nice distraction. He had been shirtless in the same room as the Doctor before in numerous occasions, although the reverse was not true (and wasn’t that a pity), but it had never felt intimate. It was just a matter of practicality – when they were deeply engaged in repair works, Jack sometimes took his shirt off to fight the heat of the exertion, and, admittedly, with the hope that having a good look at his physique might give the Doctor ideas. One could always dream. The human had even wondered if his friend hadn’t been staring a few times, but that was most likely just his own wishful thinking.

Jack had never felt particularly vulnerable wearing little clothes. But right now, he was not even fully bare-chested and yet already almost wishing he could hide behind more fabric. He was completely at the Time Lord’s mercy now.

Did Time Lords have mercy?

Chapter Text

It could have been worse, Jack decided, trying to assess the extent of his injuries. The Doctor was still carefully cutting parts of Jack’s shirt to prevent him from having to lift his left arm.

He couldn’t see everything yet, and sure, there was a fair bit of blood, but he was reasonably certain that the Savachanlar had been actively trying to avoid piercing vital organs with his horns and claws.

The loud string of what could only be curse words in a language the Tardis didn’t translate came as a surprise. The alien was finishing his work with Jack’s shirt and had just taken a step back. “What’s wrong, Doc?” Jack asked, rather worried. “Doctor, I mean,” he immediately amended. The other man was already mad at him, and there really was no need to further aggravate the Time Lord.

But his addendum hadn’t calmed the Doctor – if anything, he looked more upset. “You’re a bloody idiot, that’s what!” the older man exclaimed heatedly.

Jack’s shoulders sank. “I know. I’m sorry,” he muttered.

The apology didn’t appear to help. The Doctor was shaking his head and pacing with great agitation. “No, I didn’t – you’re – how did you – I can’t believe you tried to tell me you were fine! Have you seen those injuries?”

Jack glanced down at himself again. “It looks worse than it feels, I swear,” he affirmed.

“I’m not sure I can trust anything coming out of your mouth right now,” the Doctor replied angrily.

Jack flinched, but the Time Lord had thankfully already turned to search for something and didn’t notice.

You brought this on yourself. You’ve been lying for most of your life – why would anyone trust anything you say?

He still remembered how the big lies had started.

Jack was sixteen, and he was hungry. But that was not the biggest problem. The neighbours were talking. Mother had refused to show up at communal time. Again. And Jack was running out of excuses to cover for her.

“Hello?” Jack called tentatively.

“Franklin, darling!” his mother answered enthusiastically. “I’m so glad you’re home!”

Jack clenched his fists. It was one of her bad days. Not that she’d had many good ones, recently. Reminding her that he was not Franklin, that her husband was dead, would achieve nothing. It would just force Jack to relive the day of his father’s death, again. He took a deep breath.

“Listen, you really need to take your share of communal time tomorrow, okay?”

His mother pouted. “Can’t you do it for me? I’ve covered your shift so many times lately!”

Jack tried to ignore the stab of grief in his chest. “Please,” he tried.

It took some convincing. In the end, though, she had gone and done some of the chores that the villagers shared. Jack had been relieved, but the next day…

“Help! Somebody help!”

She was screaming, and Jack ran towards her, hoping he would manage to silence her before a neighbour came to check what was happening.

“What is it, Mother?”

“I can’t find Gray!”

Jack’s stomach twisted painfully.

“He’s not in the house! I think he went to the beach. But he shouldn’t be there alone, it’s dangerous! You need to find him, okay? He’s your little brother, it’s your job to take care of him.”

“Yes, Mother,” Jack murmured.

“Well don’t just stand there! Go and look for him! I need my son back, don’t you understand? Bring me my son back!”

Jack hurried out of the house. He would not cry, he told himself. He would not cry. It was his own fault, after all. Mother repeated it often enough. If he hadn’t lost Gray that day…

His stomach rumbled, reminding him that he would need to find food, at some point. She had shared her meal with him the previous day, when she thought he was Father, but tonight, when he would come back without Gray… He rubbed his arm reflexively. He needed to get better at dodging what she threw at him. She didn’t do it on purpose, of course, she was just blinded by grief, and it was all his fault anyway, so it didn’t really matter if he was hurt, did it?

Besides, it wasn’t always that bad. Sometimes, she would seem to realise who he was, and what was happening, and she would caress his hair and promise that things would get better. Sometimes, she would apologise and say that Jack was all that she had left. Sometimes, she would remember how to bake his favourite cake, and they would eat it together, and in these moments, it almost seemed like what he had done was forgivable.

The feeling never lasted, of course. Something would remind her of Gray, and she would yell at him, threaten to tell everyone what he had done, how he was responsible for his own brother’s death. He would be banished, then.

His own mother hated him for what he had done; how would anyone else bear the sight of him?

“They’ll sent you where those creatures live,” Mother sometimes said, her eyes bright and mad, looking directly at Jack but not seeing him. “You’ll never be allowed back on the Boeshane Peninsula, never! If someone learns what you’ve done, you’ll be banished forever. And then I’ll lose you too. I can’t lose you too.”

He usually managed to calm her down before someone came to the house, but the episodes were becoming more and more frequent, and Jack didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t ask anyone for help, even though sometimes, on the better days, Mother assured him that she wouldn’t tell anyone about his faults, that she wanted to protect him.

“I couldn’t save your brother, but I’ll save you, I promise,” she had said once. Even years after, Jack could barely remember that moment without crying.

He had tried to reassure her, then, to remind him that he was the one who was to blame, not her. Jack was the one who had lost Gray. And he would do everything to make it up to her.

She looked at him with tears in her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry, son,” she murmured. “I think I’m not well.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ll take care of you,” Jack replied, trembling.

Mother shook her head again. “I think I need help. There’s something wrong with my head, son. Sometimes… sometimes I’m not sure what’s real.”

She paused. “But you’re real, right? You’re real, and you’re here, and you’re my son.” She pulled him in her arms, and Jack gratefully buried his head in her chest, sobbing.

“I’ll help you, Mam, I’ll help you, whatever you need,” he repeated, choking on the words.

But soon, much too soon, she grabbed Jack’s wrists to push him away. “Enough foolishness. Make yourself useful and clean the table. Your father will be back soon.”

“Yes, Mother,” he answered, his voice breaking.

The good moments never lasted.

And if someone besides Jack were to speak with his mother, she was bound to snap at some point. She would try to protect him, like she said she would, but she couldn’t control herself, not really. She would get angry, and yell about what he had done to Gray, and then everyone would know. Everyone would know he was responsible for his own brother’s death, and everyone would hate him. And he would be banished.

No, he needed to find a solution on his own. It would be foolish to ask for help. Did he even deserve help? It didn’t matter. No one could help.

Still, he dreaded going back to the house. Mother would be waiting for him, hoping he had found Gray. Jack shivered. Maybe, if he waited long enough, she would have forgotten he was supposed to bring his brother back? But Mrs Kryous had spotted him trying to sleep outside, last time, and she was always suspicious now. Besides, it was getting really cold. And he was hungry.

He slowly started to walk back. She might get sad instead of angry, he told himself. That was always hard to watch, but there was less risk he would end up with bruises he couldn’t explain.

“Did you find him?” she asked the second he opened the door.

“Find him?” Jack repeated, trying to win himself some time.

“Don’t play dumb! You went looking for your brother hours ago!”

Fuck. Angry, not sad. The young boy felt his hands starting to tremble. She was getting closer to him.

“What have you done? What have you done to him, you useless, pathetic excuse for a big brother?” She had grabbed Jack’s shoulders, harshly, as she spoke, and she was shaking him. He could feel her nails digging into his skin and knew that there would also be bruises if she didn’t let go of him soon.

“Nothing!” he blurted. “I’ve done nothing wrong! In fact, I… I’ve found him!”

His mother paused. “Really? Where is he, then?” Her hands released most of their grip on her son’s shoulders.

Jack took a deep breath. “At boarding school,” he improvised, trying to sound confident. “He’s been accepted in this great boarding school he wanted to go to, don’t you remember?”

“Boarding school…” his mother murmured. She furrowed her brow and took a step back. Jack exhaled shakily as the hands that were hurting him moved away. “Why can’t I remember this? What’s wrong with me?”

She sounded panicked, and Jack felt guilt swelling in his chest. “It’s okay, Mam,” he said. “You have memory issues, sometimes, but it’s okay. I’m here.”

“Oh. Alright.” She looked small, all of a sudden, and very lost. For the first time, Jack realised that he was slightly taller than her, now.

“Thank you, son,” she whispered, and she raised a hand to caress his cheek.

Jack managed not to flinch, and she smiled. “Are you hungry? I think we have some soup left.”

The young boy nodded. There was a lump in his throat. She had not hit him. She had not thrown anything at him, even though she knew who he was. And she had offered him food. She almost looked happy. That hadn’t happened in a long time. But she was only happy because of his lie.

Still, it was better than nothing, wasn’t it? Who cared if the truth was disappointing? Jack wouldn’t need the truth, if he was good enough at pretending. The boarding school story had been a stroke of genius, really. Thanks to that, when Jack needed food, he could say he wanted to send a package for Gray, and Mother would give him something to eat.

He didn’t deserve it, of course. And he could never get rid of the idea that he was stealing from his little brother. But it was better than nothing.

When it came to Jack’s life, everything was better than the truth.

Chapter Text

The Doctor was tossing various objects out of a drawer, and only stopped once he found a big syringe and a dose of… well, Jack wasn’t sure what it was. He watched the silvery liquid in the alien’s hand with apprehension but didn’t dare asking questions.

“Painkiller,” the Doctor grunted, and the human tried to relax as much as possible when the syringe approached his arm. But the alien’s movements were quick and steady, and the former Time Agent barely felt a thing.

“Are you cold?” the Time Lord suddenly asked. Jack blinked. His body had started shivering. Maybe it meant that he was indeed cold. And clothes would offer a protection of sort, right?

He ignored the snide little voice that was asking what exactly he needed protection again in that moment and tried to get his mouth to cooperate with his brain.

But before he could utter a word, the Doctor had taken off his leather jacket and draped it around Jack’s shoulders.

“You gave me your jacket,” the human observed. It may not have been the brightest thing to say, but Jack needed to check the reality of what was happening. Had he ruled out the possibility of this whole scene being a weird fever dream?

“Yup,” the Doctor confirmed. “And I asked the Tardis to increase the temperature of this room.”

“Oh.” Again, probably not the sharpest retort. “Well, that’s… that’s nice,” he murmured. The Time Lord threw him a quizzical look but did not reply. “Thank you,” Jack added. “I appreciate what you’re doing, really, I do, but you don’t need to bother that much, you know. I can use a dermal regenerator on myself, and for the rest, well.” He shrugged. “I’ve seen worse.”

“To bother?” the Doctor repeated. He sounded vaguely upset again. “What, you think taking care of you is some kind of chore?”

“Well, what else would it be? Hey, if you’d rather leave, that’s fine, you know. You really don’t need to go out of your way to help me.”

Apparently, that wasn’t the right answer, for the frown on the alien’s face deepened. “When is the last time someone helped you when you were hurt, lad?”

“We had regular medical check-ups at the Time Agency, and–”

“I don’t mean a nurse or a physician, Captain. When is the last time someone who wasn’t a medical professional took care of you?”

Jack was starting to feel very uncomfortable with that line of questioning. “Took care of me, that’s an interesting way of putting things. Just last month, there was this charming Venusian couple who took great care of certain parts of my anatomy, if you get my meaning. Have I ever told you about–”

“Still not what I’m asking, Captain.”

The human stayed silent.

“I broke my ankle once,” he suddenly recalled, surprising himself. “My parents took me to the clinic and got me my favourite dessert afterwards.” He was feeling a bit dizzy. Not like earlier, though – things were not twirling, but it was hard to focus. The sensations were close to the ones he experienced after too many shots of hypervodka.

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.” The answer had been out of Jack’s mouth before he could think, and that was weird, too. “I wouldn't... normally, I… I'd never say that!” Jack exclaimed. “I don’t speak about my childhood, ever! What was in your syringe? You drugged me, didn’t you?”

The Doctor frowned. "Don't be ridiculous. The Tardis calculated the dose, there's no reason..."

But he was checking something on a screen as he talked and his voice trailed off. "If the dose is too high, the painkiller I used can lower inhibitions and mess with your cognitive abilities," he admitted. "It’s all temporary, of course, all effects stop as soon as the drug is out of your system. Still, I'm sorry, it’s… I should have checked, but the Tardis provided the quantity and she's usually very good at calculating stuff and I assumed..."

"So the Tardis wants me to make an even bigger fool of myself today. Guess she's mad at me too, then. Wonderful," Jack said bitterly. He tried not to feel too hurt by the idea, but it was hard. He had never expected the ship to purposefully humiliate him.

The Time Lord furrowed his brow. "She's not mad," he affirmed. "She's... worried about you, I think. Although I don't really see how giving you too much lestryvil would help... and now she's calling me an idiot. Eh," he shrugged. "Guess she's in a mood. Happens sometimes."

"Maybe she thought I'd finally be brave enough to actually kiss you," Jack muttered, before clasping a hand on his mouth, mortified.

The Doctor was standing very still.

"I'm sorry, I... It's the drug," the human precipitately said. "You know me, always making inappropriate jokes, and apparently I really have no filter now, so... Please don't hold it against me?" Jack hated how desperate his voice sounded.

The alien still hadn't moved.

"I am not," he finally said. "Holding it against you, I mean. Like you said, I... it's the drug, it’s only the drug, nothing more. And it's my own fault, I should have been more careful with the dose, and - ouch! What was that for?" he exclaimed after receiving what looked like a rather painful zap from the Tardis cabinet on which his elbow had been resting.

The Time Lord looked absorbed in a silent conversation for a few seconds. The human then watched him rolling his eyes. "If you have nothing new to say, old girl, just shut up. Yes, I'm an idiot, who doesn’t already know that?" the Doctor finally grumbled out loud.

Jack tried to focus on his telepathic senses and felt the Tardis... reacting… was she sulking? She produced the mental equivalent of an annoyed huff and seemed to close herself off.

"You felt that, didn't you?" the Doctor asked. “Don't you know it's rude to intrude into other people's telepathic conversations?"

Jack was about to apologise when he noticed the Doctor's expression - he looked somewhat pleased. "I'm kidding, lad," the alien said. "I'm actually rather impressed. Humans are rarely able to sense anything from my ship. Dunno who your psychic instructors were, but you're doing them proud."

"Oh. Er, thanks," Jack stammered, trying not to blush at the unexpected praise. "I kind of had to learn some stuff early. My mother, she wasn't always very stable, and–" he clasped a hand at his mouth again. "Never mind," he added immediately.

The Doctor looked intrigued but thankfully didn't push.

"If you want to talk about it someday while in full control of yourself, I'll be ready to listen," the Time Lord simply said.

Unable to make a verbal reply pass the lump in his throat, Jack settled for a non-committal nod. He was relieved when the Doctor made no further attempts at conversation and started scanning him with various devices. The way the alien’s lips tightened when he read the results was concerning, though.

“Is there a problem?” Jack asked.

“I hate that I didn’t realise in how much pain you were,” the Doctor muttered. “Was stupid. Should have carried you all the way to the Tardis.”

Was the Time Lord serious? The young man stared at him. “You act like you really care,” he observed, unable to hide his amazement.

But for some reason, the Doctor was starting to look sad again.

“Hey, don’t be sad,” Jack protested. “I don’t like to see you sad. It’s better when you’re happy.” Great, and now he talked like a five-years old, the former Time Agent realised with a wince. That drug really was quite strong. “Do you miss Rose?” he continued despite the voice in his mind urgently asking why he hadn’t shut up yet. “Yes, of course you miss Rose. I understand, you know, I miss her too, she’s great, so kind, and smart, and beautiful, and you smile when she smiles, and I love to see you smiling, and I wish I could be more like her, always positive and so full of compassion and making you happy just by being here, and also when she’s around your eyes get all, I don’t know, soft, and…”

Jack trailed off as the words he had just uttered reached the part of his brain that controlled whatever little bit of judgment he had left. He felt his cheeks grow hot. “Sorry, ‘m so sorry,” he muttered. “Please don’t pay attention to anything I’m saying,” he added, ducking his head to avoid looking at the Time Lord.

“It’s okay,” the Doctor grumbled. He sounded embarrassed, though.

The human firmly ordered himself not to say another word until he was certain the effects of the drug had completely disappeared.

The alien did not say anything either, but he picked up a Bone Fixator and started working on Jack’s left arm, before moving to his ribs. He then grabbed a dermal regenerator and started treating the open wounds. And he was nice about it, too. The hand that wasn’t holding the regenerator often brushed Jack’s skin in an almost caressing manner, as if the Doctor had wanted his every touch to feel comforting. And it was comforting, very much so. After that, the Time Lord remained extremely gentle in applying some Accelerated Healing paste on various bruises and sore muscles. So gentle, in fact, that Jack almost felt like crying. But that was certainly the drug’s fault.

The alien had to remove his leather jacket from his friend’s shoulder in order to apply some paste there, and Jack silently mourned the loss of the garment’s comforting weight and warmth. Amazingly, though, the Doctor gave him the jacket back as soon as he could, and even nudged him to actually slip into the sleeves, this time. He then scooped up Jack in his arms and carried him out of the med-bay before the human could think of saying something.

Not that he would have known what to say. It was all quite over-the-top, really, the Doctor didn’t need to carry him, and Jack seriously ought to protest, but… it just felt so nice. And the human’s brain was fuzzy. Words were hard. Being carried – that was not hard. That was nice. And relaxing. And funny. There were funny shapes on the Tardis’ ceilings, and he could see the Doctor’s chin from an unusual angle, and he liked that.

“Your chin is nice,” he said. “And I like your smell. Rose told me I smelt good, the other night, when we were drinking on Vorraya, but that’s probably just the pheromones, and then she said that you smelt good too, like rainstorm and spices and warmth and safety and adventure, and I thought it was cute, but now that I can smell for myself, it’s so much more than that, you know?”

“Hmph,” the Time Lord muttered. They were in front of the door of Jack’s room now.

“Time for you to have some rest, Captain,” the Doctor announced as he slowly deposited his friend on the bed. Jack clung to the leather jacket on his own shoulders, hugging himself, trying – and mostly failing – to compensate for the sudden absence of arms around him.

The alien had said something about rest, Jack realised after a few seconds. He wanted to protest the idea, to explain that he was okay, but his intended words were drowned by a yawn. Which made whatever argument he could have thought of somewhat less compelling. Had he thought of an argument, by the way? Why didn’t he want to sleep? Sleeping was good, sleeping was a very smart thing to do right now, a voice in Jack’s head insisted, and it seemed that most of his body agreed with the voice. But he had been thinking about something, another part of his mind persisted, something important, that he needed to do, or to say, only he couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Jack’s lips articulated before the rest of his brain could catch up with his mouth.

The Doctor froze, and Jack desperately wished he could take back his words, but the only thing that he managed was a scrambled, “I mean, I thought maybe you could stay… just for a little while… if… if that’s okay with you, of course… I mean I don’t need you to stay, I’ll be fine on my own, and you probably have much better things to do, and–”

“Don’t worry, lad,” the Time Lord interrupted. “I’m not leaving your side. I’ll stay with you as long as you want me.”

I’ll always want you. This time, Jack thankfully caught the thought before it reached his lips and made him sound irreversibly pathetic. The human even managed to mutter, “thank you” instead.

“You’ll be more comfortable without the jacket,” the Time Lord remarked.

“No!”

The Doctor looked perplexed, and Jack tried to explain, “I like it. It smells like you. ‘T’s nice.”

Then he realised what he had just said and felt himself turn crimson. He sat as fast as his exhausted body would let him (which wasn’t that fast) and immediately took off the jacket with a muttered apology.

“I’m sorry, that was ridiculous, didn’t mean to sound needy, or – or to disobey, I just – the drug, it’s – I’m sorry,” he stammered.

The Time Lord was still staring, and Jack was now bare-chested again, and he felt exposed and vulnerable and cold. But the Doctor surprised him by taking off his own sweater and his T-shirt, before handing Jack said T-shirt.

“Here,” he muttered. “Put it on. That‘ll be more comfortable to sleep.”

And it would smell like the Doctor, too. Jack could barely comprehend what was happening. But he slowly complied, deciding that if that was all a dream, it was rather nice one.

The alien then took one of Jack’s T-shirts from a nearby drawer and dressed himself with it, before taking off his trousers. The Doctor was in his room, wearing only a T-shirt and some underwear, Jack realised. And not just any T-shirt – Jack’s T-shirt. Yeah, a nice dream indeed.

The Time Lord climbed into bed next to him, and put his arms around his friend’s shoulders, and they struggled a bit to find a comfortable position, which was made harder by the heaviness in Jack’s whole body. The mere thought of moving was utterly exhausting. But the Doctor was helping him, and his touch felt very real, and he was holding Jack very close. The two men were spooning now, and it was amazing.

This fight had been a terrible idea. But, Jack thought sleepily as he pressed his head deeper into the Doctor’s chest, even bad ideas could have their benefits, sometimes.

Chapter Text

The Doctor stared at Jack’s sleeping form and wondered how many times the lad could break his hearts before they would decide to just stop working and go on a strike or something. The answer seemingly was somewhere around “an awful lot of times”. The look of amazement in the young human’s eyes every time the Doctor did something vaguely decent… it spoke volumes. Had the Time Lord truly treated his companion so terribly, up to this point?

Yes, you have, a merciless voice in the alien’s mind replied, and he winced. The voice was right and the Doctor knew it. He had come to like the lad – and to like him a lot, in fact, perhaps more than he should have – but had he done anything to show him that?

Sure, he had chosen several of their last destinations because he knew they had something that could please Jack, but… had the human realised it? Humans thought dumb stuff about coincidences sometimes. And if the Doctor often reacted gruffly to Jack’s teasing, or pretended to be annoyed by the lad’s flirtatious manners, it was only a façade, and the young man could see through it… couldn’t he?

It had been ages since the Time Lord had last truly minded one of Jack’s flirty jokes. He had even come to admit, in the privacy of his own mind, that he would miss those exchanges a lot if the lad ever stopped making passes at him. Not that he ever intended to reciprocate, of course, it would be most unwise for an awful lot of reasons… but he could still enjoy Jack’s flirting, right?

Except that he couldn’t let his friend know that he enjoyed it. The young man would read too much into it, or… or he would see it exactly for what it was. Which would be a terrible idea.

Yeah, ‘cause letting him believe you hate his guts is so much better.

The Doctor sighed. There had to be some sort of middle ground between flirting back with Jack and constantly snapping at him; he just needed to find it. And to get better at showing the lad that he truly cared for him.

Still, that Jack could ever believe that the Doctor would just drop him on some random place to be healed by strangers… or worse, completely ignore his blatant injuries? And leave him to fend for himself? The human had even looked like he would obey without protest if the Doctor were to order him something as absurd as engaging in mechanical repair works while he was on the verge of passing out.

Did Jack really think that poorly of his Time Lord friend?

You’re not the first person to treat him less than kindly, a voice in the Doctor’s mind pointed, and he had to hold back a new sigh. With what kind of terrible people had the young man been hanging out before? How could he be so surprised that someone would care for him?

‘You don’t have to go out of your way to help me…’ Checking the room temperature for a human with serious injuries and adjusting it to his needs wasn’t ‘going out of his way’, it was the bloody bare minimum the Doctor could do!

And it was much more ethical than increasing the room temperature by a few degrees while he and Jack were engaged in repair works, just to have a chance to see that lad taking off his shirt. The Time Lord almost blushed at the memory. He hadn’t really done that on purpose... an increased temperature could be beneficial to the energy transmission between the vectors in the left temporal quadrant and… oh, who was he kidding. The first times Jack had taken off his shirt while working on the Tardis, the Doctor truly hadn’t planned for it to happen, but afterwards… The Time Lord would firmly deny having spent any more time than strictly necessary thinking about which repair jobs were situated in the hottest rooms, or which tasks were requiring the most physical exertion – those questions had nothing whatsoever to do with any of the Doctor’s decisions regarding Tardis maintenance.

His ship produced a telepathic wave that felt very much like a laugh and the Time Lord scowled.

Focus, he needed to focus. On Jack. On how to help him. On how good it felt to hold the sleeping young man in his arms. On the smell of his hair and–

Okay, not the right focus. Scars, the Doctor reminded himself. Jack had scars. He hadn’t thought much about that when he had first seen Jack bare-chested, but after treating the lad’s injuries earlier, he couldn’t help but wonder – how? why? Why did the young man have scars, when he came from a time and a place where treating wounds was so easy, and, if done early enough, could prevent scarring from happening at all?

Before, the alien had assumed that it came from Time Agency missions gone wrong, but… he wasn’t so certain of that anymore. For the first time, the Doctor wondered about Jack’s childhood. Why didn’t the lad ever mention anything about it? Rose had told many stories about how she was like, growing up, but Jack’s stories always started after he had joined the Time Agency. And why had he joined that organisation at all? It wasn’t exactly the nicest place, and the human had probably been quite young when he had entered the agency’s ranks… What had motivated him? What kind of places in the 51^st century were bad enough to make the Time Agency look attractive? Where did Jack come from?

And why had the Doctor never asked him that before?

Sure, the Time Lord wasn’t exactly an open book when it came to his own past, and tended to avoid any subject that felt susceptible to lead to unwelcome questions…

But some things were too important to just keep ignoring them.

Why had Jack reacted so strongly to that Savachanlar calling him a traitor? The lad sure had some faults, but disloyalty definitely wasn’t one of them. The insult had sounded odd, but that probably had something to do with the Tardis’ translation matrix – it was quite clearly a somewhat typical turn of phrase among Savachanlars. And the saying mentioned a brother – did Jack have a brother? Or any remaining family, for that matter?

Yes, there were many things the Doctor would need to ask his friend.

Chapter Text

Comfortable. He was quite comfortable. There was a perfect balance between the heat provided by blankets and the lukewarm feeling of a skin colder than his own. That was nice. Really nice. Jack knew he should probably open his eyes, but his half-asleep body insisted on enjoying the sensations a little longer, and, well… a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?

But awareness was slowly coming back to him, and his heart almost missed a beat – a skin colder than his own? – was he…

Jack hurriedly opened his eyes.

“Good morning, Captain,” the Doctor said with a smile. One of his arms was still resting around Jack’s shoulders. Was it a dream?

Oh. Oh. He had asked the Doctor to stay with him on the previous evening. And sure, he had been under the influence of a drug, but… what would the Time Lord think?

He was still there, though. The alien could have left anytime, but he was still there. With Jack. That had to mean something, right? Or well, the young man probably needed to refrain from jumping to unrealistically optimistic conclusions… but maybe it at least meant that the Doctor hadn’t minded too much? Maybe he wasn’t finding Jack utterly pathetic?

“Good morning,” the human finally managed to articulate.

“Are you hungry? I can make us some breakfast.” The Time Lord had moved as he spoke and was now standing up, his hands enthusiastically waving as he described the various types of food they could get in the Tardis. Jack wasn’t really listening, too busy appreciating the much too rare cheerfulness in his friend’s eyes.

“Unless you’d rather shower first?” the Doctor added.

“A shower sounds good,” Jack said, in part because he had only heard that last question and didn’t want to ask the Time Lord to repeat himself. There were other reasons for that, though – he needed a few minutes alone to sort his thoughts. And to steel himself for what was about to come. The Doctor was mad at him, after all. What exactly would that entail?

“Okay. How are you feeling? Do you need any help?”

Jack blinked. The Time Lord sounded perfectly earnest. “I’m fine,” the young man automatically replied as he also stood up. “I wouldn’t mind some company in the bathroom, though,” he added. “After all, you need to make sure I won’t fall or anything of that kind, right? And of course, it would give you a great opportunity to see me with all my clothes off… water running on my skin… and you would have to take your own clothes off, too, because you wouldn’t want to ruin them, would you? Then, once we’re both naked, if you need ideas for fun activities, I can think of a few things. What do you say?”

The human was fully prepared for the Doctor to berate him for his foolishness and his one-track mind – he was waiting for it, actually. Waiting for the Time Lord to go back to his normal self.

He was utterly unprepared for the way the Doctor smiled softly and murmured, “I’m glad to hear you sounding like yourself again. Really glad.” He put a friendly hand on Jack’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Well. If Jack truly wasn’t dreaming… it was more than he had been hoping for.

“I… I… er, thanks,” he stammered, blushing like a teenager. He hastily retreated to the bathroom to hide his embarrassment.

Don’t read too much into it, he firmly told himself. It might just be pity. Maybe he fears you’re still injured or something. Or he simply thinks you’re fragile and weak, now that he’s seen you pathetically lose a fight.

No, Jack wasn’t supposed to focus on the warmth the Doctor’s hand on his shoulder had brought into his chest. Or on the way his kind words were making his heart beat too fast. He was supposed to find a way to make amends. And to get ready to react with a smile to devastating news about when exactly his time on board the Tardis would come to end.

You don’t know that he’ll tell you to leave, an optimistic little voice tried to intervene. He called you his companion, yesterday. That means something, right?

But Jack had still disobeyed a direct order. And the Doctor was clearly the superior officer in the Tardis – disobedience would have consequences.

Back in the Time Agency, he would have known what to expect. More chores and less food, for starters, and probably a good hiding. The Agency was never particularly kind towards its own members. It didn’t publicize it, of course, and it wasn’t really as if agents could complain anyway. Given the extremely sensible nature of any mission involving time travel, agents had to sign draconian non-disclosure agreements before joining the Agency’s ranks. And once you were in… well. Not everything looked like the brochures.

Still, if it meant that he was allowed to stay in the Tardis, Jack would endure any form of discipline the Doctor could wish to impose on him. No form of corporal punishment seemed likely, though, given the Time Lord’s distaste for violence. Which should have been good news, but… What was it that the Doctor did plan on doing? Was there a smooth way to ask?

‘Hey, Doc, what do you do to people when they royally screw up? I mean, when they royally screw up again?’

He had met the Doctor in the middle of what was probably the most epic screw up of his entire life, after all – and that was saying a lot, in a life where failures abounded. If almost turning the entire human race into undead creatures calling for their Mummies behind gas masks had not made Jack look irredeemable in the Time Lord’s eyes, then surely, just losing a fight… even in a very pathetic fashion… that could be okay too, couldn’t it?

But there was a major difference between the two situations. Jack hadn’t been under the Doctor’s authority, back then. He was now. And he had been openly defiant. Then, he had proved himself utterly unable to deal on his own with the consequences of his own actions, forcing the Doctor to step in to clean up Jack’s mess, again.

The Time Lord knew that Jack had not meant to harm anyone, with the nanogenes, and had given him a chance to do better, afterwards. So Jack had tried, really tried, hoping to prove to the Doctor that the former Time Agent he had rescued was more than just a useless con-man. Hoping to prove that his life had been at least slightly worth saving.

Did his failure with the fight negate all his previous efforts? Jack had no excuse, this time. Unlike with the nanogenes situation, he couldn’t pretend he had not known what he was doing – he knew from the start that this fight was not a good idea, he knew from the start that both the Doctor and Rose were against it, he had been ordered not to fight… and he had done it anyway.

He stayed with you, an obstinate little voice in Jack’s head pointed. The Doctor spent the night with you – and he did not have to do that!

Was it really just pity? Was the Time Lord trying to be kind while Jack was injured but still planning to abandon him somewhere once he was back to health?

Those thoughts won’t get you anywhere, the annoying little voice answered. You need to talk to him.

Jack sighed. The voice was right, but he still hated it.

x-x-x

Breakfast helped a little. The Time Lord was in a good mood, the food was excellent, and the conversation rolled pleasantly.

There was a small pause as the Doctor poured himself a second cup of tea, and Jack took a deep breath. "How do you intend to punish me?" he blurted. The words weren't easy to pronounce, but he needed to do it. Better to know what to expect.

The alien looked at him as if he had just grown a second head, though. "To punish you?" he repeated. He sounded disbelieving and almost angry.

Jack tried to steel himself. "For disobeying you," he clarified. "About the fight. You told me not to do it, and I ignored the order. I'm on your ship, and I know you set the rules, but there has never been any talk of punishment before, so I wondered..."

Please don't kick me out, he mentally prayed. Please, I'll accept any punishment, just allow me to stay.

He ignored the part of him that was scoffing at his sentimentality. He didn't need to stay, he would be fine starting something on his own again, it didn't even really matter where or when. It was quite stupid of him to care so much, and still... he couldn't help but want to stay. No matter the consequences.

Piercing blue eyes were watching Jack intently and he had to resist the urge to squirm. "I don't do punishment," the Time Lord finally said. "If you feel bad about something, you can apologise, and if you really want to be in my good books, you can bring me a banana-flavoured milkshake next time we tinker with the Tardis. Or next time you see me really engrossed in a book. Or... whenever, actually. There are very few things in life that aren't made better by the addition of a banana-flavoured milkshake."

Incredulous, Jack stared at the other man. "Doctor, I'm serious," he said.

"So am I! Milkshakes are fantastic. Don't you think so?"

"I... er, sure," the human stammered. "Well I'll... I'll make sure to get you lots of those once I'm back after the kulhizmet thing, then," he tried. Please don't say I won't be back. Please.

The Time Lord grinned. "Working on the Tardis with banana-flavoured milkshakes, that's something to look forward to."

That means he'll wait for me, right? He's not just getting Rose back and leaving the planet without me, he'd say something, wouldn't he? He called me his companion, yesterday - did he mean it? What is 'companion' supposed to entail?

Out loud, Jack said, "great!" and attempted to smile at the Doctor.

He needed to apologise now, he realised. That was what the alien had told him to do, and he truly was sorry that his rash decision had ended up with Rose having to stay in the Savanchalars’ custody. And that it had made him look weak and stupid. And that he hadn't even been able to give Rose the necklace she liked. And that the situation had forced the Doctor to take care of Jack.

Although... was he really that sorry about the Doctor taking care of him? His cheeks grew hot as he remembered his friend's gentle touch and he suddenly couldn't help but think how good it would feel, if he could climb on the Time Lord's lap and burry his face in his chest after he apologised. The alien would hold Jack close and whisper that things were okay now and...

He forced himself out of his fantasies. What a childish idea. It would probably be the best way to convince the Doctor that Jack was a useless weakling - if the Time Lord didn't believe that already.

Jack's life had taught him time and time again that asking for comfort was dangerous, and he needed to remember that lesson.

"Doctor," he began, ready to start an apology with the appropriate level of seriousness and distance. “I know you are mad at me for making you leave Rose behind, and I get it, I really do, I mean honestly, I’m mad at myself too, and I’m really sorry for losing the fight and being such an inconvenience.”

Hum. Sounded a bit rambling, but it was a good start, wasn’t it? Jack needed to find more things to say now, to truly show how sorry he was, so he risked a glance at his friend. The Time Lord’s face had darkened. “That’s not why I’m mad at you,” he said coldly.

The young man gulped. “Oh. Well, I… I’m sorry for disobeying, too, of course.” He kept his eyes downcast. “And for being so useless with… well, basically everything, afterwards.”

If possible, the Doctor’s expression darkened even more.

“By Rassilon, Jack!” he exclaimed. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Sorry,” the human immediately said. “I’m really sorry, Doctor, I… please tell me what you’re mad about, and I promise I won’t do it again, in fact I’ll always do what you say, from now on, and–”

“Stop. Just stop,” the Time Lord interrupted. He ran a hand through his short-cropped hair, looking tired, sad, and uncharacteristically at a loss for words. “I’m not mad because you lost a fight or disobeyed my orders – he pronounced the last words as if biting a lemon – and it’s not even about Rose, or not completely, at least, I mean, I wasn’t thrilled to leave her, but I doubt she’s in any real danger, and that’s not… even if you had won this fight and she was here right now, I’d still be angry.”

Jack frowned. “But why, then, if not because I ignored your order not to fight in the first place?”

“Because you were hurt, obviously.”

“Oh. Well, I… I know it was probably awfully annoying for you, having to take care of me like that,” the young man murmured, trying to swallow past the sudden lump in his throat. “Next time, just drop me off somewhere, okay? Or… or you know what, you won’t even have to do that, I’ll get better at taking care of myself, you won’t have to notice at all when I’m hurt, I’ll deal with everything myself, I promise.”

“Don’t you dare,” the Time Lord growled. Jack was taken aback by the fury in his voice. “Don’t you dare hiding an injury from me ever again. I… by Rassilon, how can you keep misinterpreting everything I say?”

Jack stared blankly at his friend, waiting for his words to make sense.

The Doctor took a deep breath. “The well-being of my companions is very important to me, okay? I am not mad because you lost some stupid fight, I am mad because you put one of my companions in danger! And I’m not talking about Rose,” he added before Jack could open his mouth. “You endangered my companion, and he got hurt, badly, and now you think I’m mad because you didn’t listen to something I said? Seriously?”

“Oh, and you know what else I’m mad about?” the alien continued angrily. “You kept trying to pretend you were fine, even when you were on the verge of fainting! I told you, I care about my companions! If you’re not feeling well, I want to know it! Understood?”

“So you… you’re saying… you were upset because… because I was hurt, because you… care about me?” Jack stammered, barely believing his own words.

“If you have to put it that way,” the Time Lord said gruffly. The tip of his ears had turned pink. “Do humans really need to have everything spelled out for them?” The Doctor was embarrassed, Jack realised with surprise – but why?

The young man didn’t know the answer to that question, but there was a warm feeling in his chest and a weird prickling in his eyes.

He cares about me.

He cares, but he doesn’t want to admit it – is he… shy? There was something almost foreign blossoming inside him, something long forgotten – something that felt very much like hope.

But the Time Agent had learnt how dangerous that feeling could be, and there were other thoughts in his head now; thoughts that were less kind, but more cautious. He needed to remain cold and wary, needed to cling to the ways of thinking that had been keeping him alive for years.

Shy? Thinking highly of yourself, aren’t you? What if he’s just ashamed to care for someone like you? And you want to believe he has feelings for you? Are you insane?

His questioning was unexpectedly interrupted when the alien suddenly jerked his hand away from the wall with a mutter that sounded rather rude.

“Did the Tardis just zap you?” Jack asked, getting more puzzled by the second.

“Humpf. Anyway, what does ‘kulhizmet’ mean?” the Doctor asked.

The young man stared at his friend. The diversion was extremely transparent, but he was too surprised to protest. He also wasn’t sure how to react to what the Doctor had half-said and hesitant about trying to utter another apology. Maybe he, too, could benefit from a deflexion.

“You don’t… You acted as if you knew, I thought…”

“Always acting as if I knew stuff, me,” the Time Lord said lightly. “Keeps me on my toes, and you have fun surprises that way sometimes!”

“Well, you’ve understood that it was about working for someone already, didn’t you?” Jack started uneasily. The Doctor nodded, and the former Time Agent continued, “like with everything Savachanlars do, there are lots of rules. The kulhizmet and their commander agree on some terms and come up with a list of activities that are profitable to the commander.”

“So, if Ksiba asks for something you can’t or won’t do, you’re not forced to obey?”

“Kulhizmet isn’t slavery,” Jack replied. “And I’m good at negotiating terms – don’t worry, I’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Good.” The Doctor sounded reassured. “Given how he fixated he was on the Time Agency, I was worried he would try to force you to get him things that should not exist in this century.”

That hadn’t been on Jack’s mind at all. “My wrist-comp is broken anyway,” he muttered. “I guess that’s a good thing, in that situation.” Truthfully, he was pretty sure that time-travelling hadn’t been on Ksiba’s mind either. Time Agents were known for more than one thing, and some of the most popular rumours about them stated that their training involved learning how to sexually satisfy people from a great number of species. Adding that to the fact that working as kulhizmet very often meant offering some sexual services… Those services were agreed upon by both parties, of course, and some kulhizmets chose to stay clear of sexual activities entirely, but that was usually stated beforehand. Jack had done no such thing. He didn’t particularly mind sex work. But he knew that Rose came from a rather close-minded society and wasn’t sure how she would react to the mention of that activity. He wasn’t sure how the Doctor would react either. And he had been cocky enough not to truly envision the possibility of losing the fight, anyway. He was regretting it now, for more reasons than one.

Delicious. Keep squirming, Time Agent. I think I’m gonna enjoy having you in kulhizmet a lot.

Ksiba’s predatory tone had left a bitter taste in Jack’s mouth. He would need to negotiate his terms very carefully, that was for sure. Still, it was probably better if the Doctor didn’t realise everything kulhizmet could entail.

Like he would care, a voice in the young man’s head scoffed, but this time, Jack could force the voice to shut up, because yes, the Doctor cared. Maybe not for Jack’s sex life, but at least for his general well-being. The idea was both strange and intoxicating.

You still probably shouldn’t test his limits, the voice pointed, and the human was forced to agree. He had to make sure that he would not appear too needy. Asking the Doctor to stay with him on the previous night had been a lot already. It was important to show that he was still able to handle most situations by himself. Yes, the Time Lord cared – but that didn’t mean Jack should turn to him for every little thing.

No one wanted a needy, attention-seeking brat. Many people had told him so, when he was a dumb teenager who kept acting out, and by the time he joined the Time Agency, he had learnt not to rely on anyone but himself.

“You’re right, and the Savachanlars have neither the knowledge nor the tools that would be needed to repair it.”

The Doctor’s voice jerked Jack out of his musings, and he needed a few seconds to remember what they had been talking about. Right. His wrist-comp. Ksiba. Kulhizmet.

There was a slightly awkward silence then. The Time Lord looked like he was about to add something, but his expression was uncharacteristically hesitant. Jack, rather wary despite a spike of curiosity, did not press when the Doctor finally shook his head, muttered something nonsensical about biscuits and left the room, having clearly decided against asking anything else.

That was probably for the best. Whatever Ksiba would truly demand of Jack, he wasn’t certain he wanted the Doctor to hear about it.

Chapter Text

Despite Jack’s protests, the Doctor insisted to check on him in the med-bay again and declared that he would need more rest. The Time Lord even spoke about them waiting for at least 24 hours before leaving the Tardis. It was quite absurd – Jack’s wounds had been healed, and he had worked through far worse conditions in the past. And above all, they needed to get Rose back as fast as they could – it was unfair that she should suffer for Jack’s shortcomings. How did the Doctor not understand that?

But the Time Lord kept talking about stuff that the Tardis herself couldn’t erase. Jack still didn’t feel that it made much sense. Sure, he was really tired. And there were more than a few lingering pains from his fight. The Tardis equipment was marvellous, but even high-performance medical devices couldn’t do miracles. No matter how easily external wounds disappeared, there were usually phantom pains afterwards.

Nothing Jack couldn’t deal with, though. In fact, he was quite used to keep functioning while enduring a not-so-low amount of pain. The Doctor not realising as much was worrying – did he really think his human companion was so weak? The alien should have understood that the former Time Agent had a high pain tolerance and would not let something minor slow him down. But when Jack tried saying something to that effect, the Time Lord shot him a dark look and declared that they would not leave the Tardis before he was perfectly recovered. His tone bore no contestation.

The Doctor then suggested that the two of them could watch a movie, and Jack was torn between showing the Time Lord that he did, in fact, know how to obey sometimes, and arguing further that he was well enough to get Rose back immediately. Except that it wasn’t such a hard decision, really – not when one of the options made his stomach flutter with almost forgotten warm feelings while the other felt like a ton of bricks on his shoulders. Jack had learnt to be selfish. It was not as if other people would think about him, after all. Usually.

So, he followed his friend to another room and carefully sat on the comfy sofa, keeping his distances with the Doctor. It was the only reasonable option - he had been far too clingy on the previous evening. The Time Lord still wanting to remain longer in Jack’s company was already a small miracle. The human had fully expected to be sent to his room alone for the aforementioned rest, and he was really happy it had not been the case. Now, he wanted to enjoy the moment and to focus on the options for things to watch that the Doctor was offering. But the Tardis kept trying to communicate with Jack. And she was being very distracting.

The young man attempted to tell the ship that the moment was ill-chosen, but the alien entity either didn’t understand or purposefully ignored him. Jack had to work hard to prevent himself from reacting to the imagery the Tardis was sending his way. It was most inappropriate, really.

“Listen, I’m not a cat, okay?” Jack exclaimed. It was too late already when he realised he had said the words out loud.

The Doctor looked amused. “Thanks for reminding me, lad, but it had not escaped my knowledge.”

The young man’s cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Sorry, it’s the Tardis, she, er… she just keeps sending me those images,” he muttered. He really did not want to precise exactly what kind of images the Tardis had sent him. It had just been vague ideas about Jack and the Doctor cuddling on the couch, at first, but as he kept ignoring her, she tried to get more and more creative. The human had been plagued with visions of himself rubbing his head against the Doctor’s chest while his friend gently petted his hair. Ridiculous, really. Except… the most ridiculous thing might have been how much he craved that kind of affection.

The Time Lord’s eyes sparkled. “Have you been teasing Jack, old girl? What did you… Oh!” The alien’s ears suddenly turned crimson.

“She keeps referring to that study I read the other day,” Jack hurriedly tried to explain, “about how physical proximity with someone else could lead to a shorter recovery time after an injury. Like, you know, the study showed that companionship could be soothing or reduce stress levels or something, when all the subjects are willing, and I guess the Tardis thought… Or, I mean, I don’t know if she really wanted to talk to about that study exactly, what I’m getting from her is mainly images and something like, ‘physical contact, good’, and she keeps insisting, and I assumed it was a medical issue of some sort but maybe that isn’t what she meant ‘cause it feels like she’s frustrated with me a little and it’s not always easy to communicate with her and…”

Stop rambling! You’re making a complete fool of yourself. Why the hell are you so nervous?

“Anyway, she seems to think that I need some, er, yeah, physical contact,” he finished lamely, looking at his feet. What was happening to him? He was supposed to be good at this!

“Right,” the Doctor replied. “And if the Tardis says so… I mean, I would hate to upset her.”

Jack immediately decided against pointing just how often the Time Lord had done exactly that. “Sure, yeah, the Tardis knows best,” he muttered. His friend’s voice had been slightly less assured than usual. Maybe the Doctor was nervous too. Could it be that he actually wanted Jack closer, but didn’t know how to say it?

Or it could mean the exact opposite, the less optimistic part of him pointed. Maybe the Time Lord would have liked to stay as far as possible, but found Jack so pitiful he would not admit it. The two men stared at each other from their respective extremities of the couch for a few seconds.

“Well, come here, then,” the Doctor said. His tone was gruff, but he was patting his thighs in invitation. Jack gulped and obeyed, awkwardly scooting closer to the Time Lord until their legs touched. The alien then put his arm around Jack’s shoulders and pulled him so that the young man’s head would rest against his chest, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Which it was not. But it was wonderful.

A pile of blankets suddenly appeared next to them on the couch, and the Doctor wrapped Jack in one of them, muttering under his breath about his ship’s lack of subtlety. The human wasn’t sure how to interpret that remark but found he did not care much. All he knew was that he never wanted to move again.

x-x-x

The Doctor was feeling very warm. He liked it. Warmth was nice. Yes, it was really nice, he decided, having a human so close. Maybe he should try that more often. Except that Jack might suspect something, if the Doctor suddenly wanted to watch movies more regularly.

Would it really be so bad, if Jack started to suspect something?

The Tardis clearly thought it wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, she was quite vocal about it, despite not having actual vocal chords. She kept insisting that he needed to show more affection to his companions. The Time Lord kind of wanted to obey. But he also knew that it would be very unreasonable. So he ordinarily kept ignoring her advice.

And the Tardis was mad at him, right now. More than usual. It was quite annoying. She was a ship, after all. A sentient ship, for sure, and his faithful companion, but he hadn’t asked for her opinion on matters such as feelings and relationships. What did she even know about feelings and relationships? Except… What did he know about feelings and relationships? Especially when humans were involved.

The Tardis was mad at him. And maybe he deserved it. But it was still annoying – why couldn’t she understand that feelings were not something to be expressed through words? The Doctor did not say things like, ‘I care about you’. He showed it. That was better. And easier, too.

The Tardis was mad at him. But what had she expected? The Doctor did not talk about feelings. Care, affection, love – those were not things to be said. Those were things to be shown, to be felt, to be shared – no need for words.

Or maybe he was just a coward. Emotionally repressed old man, that was him, yeah. Maybe his ship sort of had a point.

How hard would it have been to just say yes when Jack had asked, his voice full of astonished wonder, if the Doctor cared about him?

Yeah, the Tardis probably had been right to zap his hand for refusing to say it.

“It has been ages since I’ve last done something like that,” the young human admitted, pulling the Doctor out of his musings.

“Watching a movie?”

Jack looked embarrassed. “Well, that too, kinda, but I mostly meant… You know, just cuddling. The kind of places where I’ve been hanging out before meeting you, people won’t touch you unless they want something. It feels… lonely, sometimes, I guess. Like, don’t get me wrong, sex is great, but… at times, I feel I’m missing…” his voice trailed off. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m being ridiculous. I… I’m really grateful about everything you’re doing for me, that’s all I wanted to say.”

“No hardship,” the Time Lord replied gruffly, for lack of a better answer. His throat had gotten tight. There was a deep vulnerability in his friend’s words. The Doctor himself knew more about loneliness than he cared to admit. He had never realised just how familiar his companion was with it, too.

His second arm also went around Jack, and the Doctor pulled the young human’s legs so they would rest on his lap. They had been close already, but he wanted him even closer – he needed to hold Jack in a tight embrace and to shield him against anything that might do him harm. The lad was looking slightly puzzled but rather happy about this new development, as they kept watching movie characters being too dumb to tell each other the truth about the way they were feeling. The film had been the Tardis’ pick. The Time Lord was starting to wonder if there was supposed to be a hidden message behind that choice. But he quickly decided not to dwell on the question.

Exhaustion was clearly catching up with Jack, though. The Doctor could see him fighting to keep his eyes open. He smiled and caressed his young friend’s cheek.

“Just rest, lad,” the Time Lord murmured. “The movie will still be there next time.”

“This is nice… If that’s how you act when I get hurt, I’ll need to get hurt more often,” Jack mumbled sleepily.

He probably wasn’t even aware he had said it out loud. The human was extremely tired, and the Tardis scans had shown that his body was still recovering from both the injuries and the drug. Despite that, he had looked utterly bewildered when the Doctor had declared that they would wait at least 24 hours before going back to the Savanchalars, and had even tried insisting that he wouldn’t mind leaving immediately to get Rose back.

That, and now the words that had just escaped Jack’s mouth… the Time Lord was feeling a stabbing pain through his chest, and it looked like it wasn’t going away anytime soon. How had he never seen before just how lonely and starved for affection Jack was? How insecure the young man could be?

The truth was that he hadn’t wanted to see it. There had been many clues, but he had wanted to believe that the way the lad was acting had something to do with him. The Doctor had told himself that Jack might flirt with almost anyone, but would not keep seeking any form of physical contact he could get, unless he had some form of real affection for the person involved. All the ‘accidental’ brushings of hands, arms that lingered around a shoulder a bit longer than necessary, thighs that touched when seats were close to one another, bodies pressed together in a tight space during repair works… The Doctor had wanted to believe that those gestures meant something. That they were more than mere coincidences. That those brief contacts were special to Jack somehow.

It had been extremely stupid of him, for more reasons than one. Extending physical contact was just one of the ways human beings normally flirted, however hard the Doctor had tried to forget that. And, as previously stated, Jack would flirt with just about anyone. Sure, the Doctor came from a society where touching other people was a rare and usually very meaningful occurrence… but it did not mean that the same thing was true of everyone. Humans were an extremely tactile species. Wasn’t physical contact a physiological need of sort, to them? And Jack was clearly touch-starved. No wonder he kept looking for opportunities to touch the Doctor – that was instinct. The lad was aware that his body’s needs were not correctly met and tried to do something about it, but didn’t dare overtly asking. Except in an extremely impaired, drug-induced state. And even then, he was immediately self-conscious about it. Because he did not trust the Doctor to take care of him.

The Time Lord thought, again, about what he hadn’t been able to say earlier. Maybe it had been a mistake. Jack, you’re my companion and I care about you. Maybe he should have declared it plainly, instead of hiding behind a gruff tone and a jab about humans being thick?

The Tardis did not normally use words to communicate with him, but the way she intervened in his thoughts at that moment sounded very close to “duh”.

The Doctor sighed. He would need to do better. But the past day had shown how very unfit he was when it came to expressing the kind of affection that Jack needed. Wouldn’t the lad be better off with someone else?

You mean someone like the people who lead him to believe that acting decently towards an injured friend was impossible without an ulterior motive?

Hum. His inner voice might have a point there.

Who do you think you're kidding? You're far too selfish to just let him go anyway.

The Time Lord scowled at himself. But the voice was right again. The idea of Jack leaving, or of him forcing himself to leave his friend behind... it made something clench painfully inside the Doctor's chest.

Still, the lad deserved better than the way the Doctor had been treating him. Far better.

And there was an obvious solution. It had been staring him in the face for a long time, really.

Rose. Rose was human, like Jack. And she was kind and compassionate and generally very good at understanding human needs and emotions. The Doctor needed to encourage her to be more physically affectionate with Jack. He had not done so before - in fact, he had often done quite the opposite, scowling and showing clear signs of a sour mood if they started to get too close to each other. He could be a childish and jealous person, sometimes, he knew that. But there was clearly some level of attraction between his two human companions. And finally acting on it would probably be good for them both. Who cared if that idea made the Time Lord feel bereft and terribly alone. He was so much older than his friends. And he had done such unforgivable things. He probably deserved to feel bereft and alone. And he did certainly not deserve the type of warmth he was already getting from the two young humans' company.

Yes. From now on, he would protect both Rose and Jack like the precious persons his friends were. But he would stop harbouring selfish fantasies about the three of them getting even closer. He would take care of them, but he would suppress any inappropriate desires. As he should have done from the start. That was for the best.

Chapter Text

If he was honest with himself, Jack would admit that he hated the thought of going back to the Savachanlars and dreaded being forced to obey Ksiba’s every whim.

Don’t think like that. You won’t have to do everything he asks - you’re gonna negotiate, ‘cause that’s how kulhizmet works. And it will be fine. You’ll be fine.

Or maybe he could just ask the Doctor to intervene? What would be the Time Lord’s reaction if Jack just admitted that he might like a bit of help with the negotiations? The Doctor was kind, he would likely accept, but… how did one go about asking for help? Jack admittedly lacked experience in that area.

And the alien’s mood had been steadily growing more sombre as they got closer to the place where they were supposed to get Rose back in exchange for Jack. The former Time Agent wasn’t sure why, but it wasn’t really helping with his nerves.

They kept walking in silence. Much too soon, the Green Walls that delimited the centre of the Savachanlars’ city were within sight. The Doctor asked someone for directions and was told that guests from other planets were usually housed in a tall purple building near the place where Jack had fought Ksiba.

Upon entering, they were welcomed by a very anxious-looking Savachanlar – Tipnum, Jack remembered, the green-skinned youngster who had been so curious about human beings.

“I ask for your forgiveness, esteemed foreigners,” he said, his voice trembling.

“Why?” Jack was immediately on edge – or, well, more on edge than he had already been. “What have you done? Is Rose okay?”

“Well she– she– I didn’t realise– I mean I didn’t know…” the alien stammered.

“Where is she?” the Doctor interrupted, a terrifying aura of fury instantly radiating from him.

“I… I… she’s upstairs, b-but–”

Both the Time Lord and the human were already moving past him and climbing the staircase. A tall Savachanlar tried to stop them, to no avail; Tipnum hurriedly followed.

“Rose! Rose!” Jack called.

“In here,” Tipnum said quietly, pointing at a nondescript door on the left of the corridor.

The Doctor ran in that direction and opened it with a bang, Jack close on his heels.

Inside the room, Rose was jumping around and doing a weird sort of dance next to a tired-looking elder whom Jack recognised as Trebair. An other Savachanlar was pointing a weird device in her direction and frowning at whatever results appeared on the tiny screen in his second hand.

“What exactly is happening here?” the Time Lord demanded, his voice deceptively calm.

“Jack! Doctor!” Rose exclaimed, finally noticing their entrance. Her tone was overjoyed and she immediately walked in between them to put an arm around each of their shoulders with a giggle. “My favourite persons! Did you know you’re my favourite persons?” She then proceeded to pinch Jack’s cheek and laughed again.

Trebair sighed. “You have my deepest apologies, foreigners. Your companion expressed a desire to taste some of the delicacies our city is famous for, and young Tipnum here took upon him to indulge her. But it appears that some ingredients in our food have an adverse effect on your species. I have called a healer” – he pointed at the alien who held the strange metallic device – “but we do not know enough about human beings to identify a course of treatment.”

The Doctor had not waited for him to finish speaking and was already pointing his sonic screwdriver at Rose. He seemed to relax fractionally upon seeing the results. “Yeah, she’s been poisoned, but the effects are mild for now. Substance would act like a drug; makes her easy to distract and extremely susceptible to suggestion.”

Jack frowned, very much disliking the thought of Rose alone in the midst of strangers after having ingested something that made her ‘extremely susceptible to suggestion’. “And who was with her while she was under the influence?” he asked aggressively.

“Mostly me, sir,” Tipmun replied anxiously. “And Elder Trebair when he could. We did our best to make her comfortable, I swear. And… I do not wish to contradict you, Doctor-sir, but I have not found her particularly open to suggestion, or not for more than 10 seconds, at least. We hoped to encourage her to rest, but… she would always say yes, and lie down, and then get back up almost immediately. Mostly it looked like she had, erm, very poor impulse control,” the young alien finished, sounding nervous and awkward.

As if trying to prove this point, Rose chose that moment to start caressing Jack’s hair. “Soft!” she exclaimed with delight, before ruffling it some more and plastering her entire body against Jack’s, one of her hands sneaking underneath his T-shirt to curiously explore the skin of his back. “Soft, too!” she announced with a very child-like satisfaction.

The young man felt his cheeks grow hot and cast a worried look at the Doctor, who was scowling. “Er, Rose, sweetheart, maybe you could give me some room to breathe and go take the Doctor’s hand?” Jack tried with what he hoped would be a winning smile.

She appeared happy enough with the idea, and Jack reminded himself that his body had no right to mourn the sudden loss of contact.

The Time Lord was scanning her again with his screwdriver and frowning at the results. “I’ll need to run another analysis once we get back to the Tardis,” he finally muttered.

The door to their room opened abruptly, and Ksiba barged in. He took one look at the people inside and forcefully declared, pointing at the Doctor, “You’re not leaving with the young one before my kulhizmet wears a collar proving that I own him, is that clear?”

Jack inwardly sighed, but before he could answer anything, the Doctor’s voice boomed. “You do not own him, Savachanlar, and you never will.” The tone was dark and angry. “My friend will work for you during three days, as promised, because he is an honourable man, but don’t think for a second that he belongs to you in any way.” The Time Lord had gripped Jack’s arm in a rather possessive manner, but the young man found that he really didn’t mind. In fact, the way he looked at the Doctor probably gave away far too much of his feelings – there was no way he could have hidden how grateful and awestruck his friend’s reaction made him.

Ksiba let out a small derisive snort. “Why, because he already belongs to you? Don’t worry, I’ll give your pet exactly the treatment he deserves.”

“Hey, it’s okay, Doctor,” Jack declared despite the pit of dread in his stomach. The Time Lord looked like he wanted to punch Ksiba in the face, and while Jack would definitely not have minded witnessing that, it wasn’t what the circumstances called for. “The important thing is making sure Rose gets back to health. I don’t mind wearing his thing if it means you can treat her faster.” It wasn’t completely truthful – Jack didn’t love the idea of having to walk around with the nasty-looking collar currently hanging on Ksiba’s forearm. And he remembered his Time Agency training, plus a tiny bit of common sense – don’t put some strange device around your neck if you haven’t thoroughly tested it beforehand. But his discomfort was far less important than ensuring Rose’s well-being, or than making sure he would bother the Doctor as little as possible. Jack would never forgive himself if Rose had to suffer lasting damage as a result of his idiocy.

The Time Lord did not look convinced, and the dark glare he sent in Ksiba’s direction would have liquefied a stone. The Savachanlar only laughed. “Do you want that other human back or not?”

“I don’t like this one,” Rose loudly announced, pointing at Ksiba. It was unclear who exactly she was trying to inform of that fact, if anyone – she could as well have been talking to herself. “He keeps telling me to shut up. He’s not nice. And he– he…” her brow furrowed, as if she was trying very hard to focus on something.

“Oh, come on, have you seen how annoying she is in this state?” Ksiba interrupted briskly, apparently unphased by the Doctor’s glower. “Can you blame a warrior for trying to get two bloody seconds of silence?”

“No one forced you to come anywhere near her,” Jack retorted, not bothering to mask his anger. “In fact, I’d be perfectly happy if you never got anywhere near her ever again, sgolzkhy.” The word was not Savachanlar in origin, but it was used on several planets in this quadrant, if Jack wasn’t mistaken. It meant something like, ‘rumoured to be dishonourable’, or 'being of bad reputation', and he was pretty sure that it was one of the most offensive thing one could call a Savachanlar.

Ksiba’s eyes shone dangerously. “Watch yourself, Time Agent. You wouldn’t want your new master to get mad, would you?”

“You are not his master,” the Doctor growled, “and you will not mistreat my friend in any way, or you will find that they are much dangerous things that Time Agents or Savachanlars out there.”

“Oh no, I’m so scared,” Ksiba mocked. “You really think I’m going to be intimidated by some puny little human?”

“I am not human.” The Doctor was projecting such an aura of power that Jack, despite knowing that his friend's anger was very much not directed at him, could not help a shiver. “I’m the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm 901 years old, and I'm the man who is going to make your life an absolute hell if you do anything to hurt Jack. You got a problem with that?”

The Savachanlar took a step back. “You’re bluffing. And– and he’s my kulhizmet. I will do as I please.”

“I am a Time Lord,” the Doctor repeated. “I do as I please.”

“Time Lords are a myth,” Ksiba said, but he looked slightly less sure of himself.

The Doctor had a humourless smile. “Do I look mythical to you? I could drop you on a deserted planet, many light-years and millennia away from here, just on a whim.”

“You can’t do that,” the Savachanlar protested.

“Care to test that theory? I have all of time and space at my disposal, and I have chosen Jack as my companion. Do you really want to anger me further?”

“Fine, I’ll play by the rules,” the Savachanlar grumbled. “There’s more than one way to have fun with a Time Agent anyway,” he added, giving Jack a hungry look. The human tried to hide his discomfort. He was going to be Ksiba’s kulhizmet, and he would need to obey some of the alien’s wishes, whether he liked it or not. But Jack had to admit that the Doctor’s protective attitude was heart-warming.

Then he suddenly realised something very concerning. ‘I’ll play by the rules,’ Ksiba had just said, like it was a concession of sort – but did it mean that he had not intended to do so in the first place? Did he not care for his reputation, for his honour? No, that couldn’t be – Savachanlars were known to put honour above everything else and…

And what? Isn’t there an exception to every rule?

He was prevented from pondering that question for much longer by Rose, who, visibly bored by the conversation, had approached the window and was insistently trying to get it open.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, sweetheart,” Jack started to say just as the Doctor called their friend’s name. Rose turned her attention back to them and the Time Lord deposited several items on the table behind him. A spoon, a garland of flowers (where they real flowers? If so, how the hell were they still fresh?), three biscuits, a recorder, a hairpin, some sort of glowing orb that seemed to change colours following a random pattern, and a twelve-sided wrench. (Jack knew better by now than to wonder how all of this could possibly fit into the alien’s pockets.) Rose appeared enthralled by the orb, which clearly reacted to her touch, producing more colours and weird sounds.

Jack turned towards Trebair. “You had sworn that no harm would come to our companion, Elder, on your honour. I acknowledge that what happened to her was an accident, but you still owe us some form of reparation.”

The Doctor’s attention was immediately back on him. “He’s right,” he declared. “And I know exactly what to ask. You will free Jack from his obligation towards Ksiba, and I will leave with both my companions.”

“Absolutely not!”

Ksiba had protested – shouted, really – before the Time Lord had even finished his sentence. The Savachanlar stood several inches taller than everyone else in the room, and his stance was quite intimidating. “The Time Agent is mine. Trebair’s promise was his own decision, and it doesn’t affect me.”

Intimidation had never been particularly effective on the Doctor. “Jack’s still not yours,” he growled with a fierce glare, placing a protective hand back on the human’s shoulder.

Trebair’s ears twitched a little – Jack believed it was a sign of irritation. “Despite his attitude, Ksiba of Pirewenkli is right. My words did not bind him. You may ask a favour of me, but it cannot be this.”

The taller Savachanlar looked smug. Jack felt uneasy. He was such a fool – why had he let himself hope, even for a second, that he could get away from this situation so easily? He had shown weakness – there would be a price to pay. There always was. It was perhaps the only thing in life that he could really trust.

But that was okay. Jack had been the one making a mistake here – he deserved to bear the consequences.

“You could ask for one of the necklaces Rose seemed to like,” the former Time Agent suggested, hoping to hide his anxiety behind a casual tone.

“Don’t you think you should maybe wait for her to tell you what she wants? I mean, she’s the one who has been harmed, so…”

To Jack’s surprise, the voice belonged to the youngest Savachanlar in the room – Tipnum, who had so far sounded extremely nervous.

Seeing many looks on him, though, the small alien lowered his head and hastily said, “Forgive me, Elders, for I have spoken out of turn. I should not have talked without an invitation.”

That kind of social rules mattered very little to Jack, and Tipmun had made an excellent point. “There is no need to apologise, Wise One,” he said, purposefully using a very respectful form of address. “I know beings who have lived many more years than you but could learn a lot from your words.” It was a high compliment to give a Savachanlar, and the green of Tipnum’s ears intensified – the closest this species could come to blushing. The alien’s expression was extremely happy.

“Don’t look so smug, youngling,” Ksiba grunted. “The beings a Time Agent knows can’t be worth much, and you’re still an annoying little maggot.”

Tipmun’s shoulders hunched and he lowered his head. Jack felt a strong impulse to punch the alien responsible for his distress – but fighting with Ksiba hadn’t turned out too well for him the first time, and would almost certainly make everything worse now.

“I don’t see why anyone would listen to Tipnum. I mean, the whole thing is his fault anyway,” Ksiba declared haughtily. “He’s the one who gave the human the poisonous cakes.” He turned towards the Doctor. “You could ask Trebair to punish him.”

The already small alien seemed to shrink further on himself. “I didn’t know, I swear! She was curious about it, and she asked, and–”

“I’m not interested in punishments,” the Doctor interrupted. He moved his attention back to Trebair. “Are you certain there is nothing you can do to reduce the time my companion must spend as kulhizmet?”

“Yes, he’s very certain. Ask something else,” Ksiba immediately growled.

“Do not presume to speak for me, young Ksiba!” The elder’s voice was forceful. “You have been rude and disrespectful several times since the beginning of this conversation. And it is not your first offense. If your attitude does not change, your honour will be questioned in front of the Council.”

“I apologise, Elder,” the tall Savachanlar replied. He sounded angry, and not particularly remorseful.

Trebair seemed to ignore it in favour of addressing the Doctor. “I am sorry to inform you that I cannot alter the duration of another warrior’s kulhizmet. If you do not know which favour you wish to request, you may take time to think, and come back to me at a later date.”

The Time Lord pinched his lips. “I’ll do that,” he grunted, clearly displeased. “In the meantime, you should probably investigate your aggressive lizard over there.” He made a dismissive hand-gesture towards Ksiba. “You learn a lot about a person from the way they talk to someone smaller than them, and I definitely don’t like the way he talks to Tipnum. Elders are supposed to protect people, aren’t they?”

Trebair seemed to bristle at that – his ears twitched very fast, and he glared at the Doctor. Jack wondered if he had taken offense at the “lizard” comment – Savachanlars were not actually reptilians, despite a vague similarity in appearance. But the term had been directed at Ksiba. There was a more likely explanation: the Elder wasn’t used to being told what to do, and did not like it.

“My actions regarding my people are not your concern, foreigner,” Trebair declared coldly. “You must go now. And I would like your word that you will not seek retaliation for requests or actions that a Savachanlar is allowed towards his kulhizmet.”

The Doctor looked pretty annoyed and ready to argue.

“Don’t worry, Doc’, I’ll be okay,” Jack said, feigning a confidence he was far from feeling. “I mean, Ksiba won, you know. That’s fair. Just get to the Tardis and take care of Rose, I’ll be back in no time,” he added. There was a knot in his stomach. The Doctor had called him his companion… he would wait for Jack, right? But what if he didn’t? What if he got back to the Tardis, and grew bored after a few hours? What if he realised that this whole shitty situation was entirely Jack’s fault and decided he would be better off without him?

“Fine,” the Time Lord grunted. “I acknowledge that according to your rules, my companion is Ksiba’s kulhizmet for three days, and I will seek no retaliation if every Savachanlars’ actions towards him stay conform to the boundaries of that custom.” His tone was distinctively unhappy.

The Savachanlars in the room, on the other hand, mostly looked satisfied. Ksiba had a smug rictus on his face and marched towards Jack. He placed a paw below Jack’s chin and wordlessly forced him to bare his throat, before fastening his painfully heavy collar around the former Time Agent’s neck.

Jack watched with growing trepidation as his friends walked away towards the exit, towards the safety of the Tardis, leaving him alone among the not-so-friendly aliens. This was going to be three long days.

Chapter Text

The older Savachanlars had been quick to leave the room, Tipnum close on their heels. Jack was alone with Ksiba, and he almost wished that the other aliens could have stayed. There was something about the tall Savachanlar’s presence that made him deeply uncomfortable.

Better get used to it, though. You have three whole days to spend with him.

Ksiba’s grip on Jack’s forearm was painful. “You’d better not be thinking of running away, Time Agent,” he said with a predatory smile. “That collar you’re wearing? I just might have added a thing or two to its mechanisms.”

“What? What exactly did you do?”

The Savachanlar’s smile grew wider. “If you get more than fifty feet away from me, you die.”

“What? You… you had no right to do that!”

“I have every right. I am simply making sure that my kulhizmet fulfils his duty. Besides, it’s on you, really. What kind of Time Agent accepts to wear a device they didn’t even check?”

Jack gritted his teeth. The kind that’s worried about his friend. And stupid. “Never mind that,” he said dismissively, hoping to hide the negative feelings boiling inside of him behind a charming smile. “I’m not planning on going anywhere, you know.”

“As if I would take your word for it,” Ksiba scoffed. “Of course you’re not going anywhere now – I’ve got you trapped.”

“It really wasn’t necessary,” Jack said, careful to put as little as possible of his actual emotions into that answer. “Tall, handsome Savachanlar like you? It’s not every day that I get the opportunity to spend time with someone so interesting. Why would I want to leave?”

Perhaps some flirting would mollify the alien a little. Jack was good at using flirting to placate a potentially hostile interlocutor. Of course, it could backfire, in many different ways, but… well, as Ksiba had said, he was trapped now. Negotiations would be much harder than anticipated. Any scrap of good will he could gain would be helpful.

And sure, he didn’t actually want to have sex with Ksiba, but he had known from the moment he lost the fight that he may not have a choice, in the end.

“So, how do we negotiate terms?” he asked, trying to project an aura of confidence.

“Terms?” Ksiba laughed. “You belong to me for three days and you’ll do whatever I ask of you. What’s there to negotiate?”

Jack tried to repress a shiver of fear. “That’s not how kulhizmet works,” he protested.

“It is when the person you have in kulhizmet is a slimy Time Agent.”

“What? You can’t be serious. What about meltrumako?” Jack was no expert in Savachanlar culture, but the concept of meltrumako was used as a point of reference by several species in this quadrant of the galaxy. The way the human understood it, it could be translated as “sentient beings’ rights to protection and self-determination”.

Ksiba’s smile grew wider. “I am perfectly serious. Have you never heard of kansorbu?”

Jack shook his head, doing everything he could to hide how afraid he now felt.

“It’s an old rule. The closest equivalent to kansorbu in Galactic Common Tongue would be something like ‘blood debt’. If there’s a kansorbu between a kulhizmet and their commander, it cancels every other rule. The kulhizmet is basically a slave for the duration of their service.”

“That’s barbaric!” Jack exclaimed. “And I don’t… there is no kansorbu between us! We met for the first time on the day of the fight!”

“The Time Agency killed my whole family,” Ksiba answered darkly. “No amount of money you could bring me, no amount of pain I could inflict you, would ever erase that kansorbu.”

“I’m very sorry about your family,” Jack said truthfully. “But I don’t… I didn’t do it, okay? I’m not the Time Agency, just a guy who happens to have worked for them at some point! And I left! I’m not even an agent anymore!” he pleaded.

“You were a Time Agent,” Ksiba replied categorically. “And a rather high-ranking one, Captain Jack Harkness. That’s enough for me. I’ll enjoy having you at my mercy inside of Sourv’s brothel. And plenty of other persons will enjoy it, too. I’m getting two rabbit-bears with one trap here, really. My debt to Sourv will be repaid, and I’ll have free reign to punish one of the bastards who murdered my family.”

Jack was truly afraid now. ‘Having you at my mercy inside Sourv’s brothel…’ Sex work was not the issue: past missions in the Time Agency had involved getting in bed with people for whom he had little to no desire. And he had sometimes done it just to get some easy cash, too – but in every single one of those instances, he had been the one setting the boundaries of the exchange. He had never been in a situation where someone told him beforehand that he would not be listened to, if something went beyond what he could accept. Or when something would go beyond the boundaries of what he could accept, given that Ksiba seemed dead set on making him suffer.

“You heard my friend, he’s a Time Lord,” Jack tried, hating the way his voice was trembling. “He… he’ll be furious!”

“But he’s not here now, is he?” Ksiba answered cruelly. “If he truly cared, he would have stayed. But the yellow-haired one is more important than you, isn’t she?”

“He will know,” the human desperately insisted despite the way the alien’s words had stabbed him in the chest. “He will know, and he warned you, he–”

“You really think I plan to get caught doing something illegal?” the Savachanlar interrupted. “The rules will be respected. There’s a well-known precedent regarding kansorbu and kulhizmet. My case is valid, and my people will defend me. If the so-called ‘Time Lord’ isn’t happy with what I do, well, too bad. He was bluffing anyway. There’s no such thing as Time Lords.”

“You’re wrong,” Jack protested. “The Doctor is a Time Lord,” he continued as forcefully as he could. “But that’s not even what makes him exceptional. He is fair, and kind, and–”

“And he left you here with me.”

Jack gulped and averted his eyes.

“Either he doesn’t care that much about what I’m going to do to you, or he thinks you deserve it. Didn’t you just say he was fair?” Ksiba paused, observing Jack intently. “By the way, what does he think about the silly little crush you obviously have on him?”

The human felt his cheeks grow hot, and Ksiba laughed. “You know what, maybe I’ll organise something like a public show. Sourv likes to play dress up, after all. So many possibilities… If he were to disguise himself as your friend, for example, I’m sure that your reactions would be rather entertaining. How would you feel, knowing that the whole city saw what we were doing to you and that anyone could tell your Doctor about it in great detail?”

“Please don’t do that,” Jack said. Blood was rushing to his ears. He wasn’t sure when he had last felt so terrified. “Please, I’ll… whatever you do to me, don’t… don’t make it public. Don’t let him find out. Please.”

Ksiba laughed harder. “Interesting. What happened to your ‘he will know, he warned you’ from earlier? Your so-called friend doesn’t actually care at all, does he? And if what I do to you is humiliating enough, you’ll be too ashamed to tell him about it anyway. Good to know.”

Jack clenched his fists and closed his eyes, fighting to hold back the tears that were burning behind his eyelids. He had been played. He was clearly being manipulated – and he had just fallen for it, hook, line and sinker. Ksiba probably couldn’t care less about Jack’s relationship to the Doctor, and might not even care at all about making something public, either – he had merely wanted to observe his reactions. And Jack, like the complete idiot he was, had given his captor every ammunition he would need to hurt him badly.

Okay, you’re a moron, nothing new here, the analytical part of him intervened. You can’t take back what you just said, but there might still be something to salvage!

What, though? He had no power there – what was he supposed to do?

“Look, I… it’s not… I think we’ve started on the wrong foot here,” he stammered. “I didn’t mean to tell you what you can or can’t do, I just–”

“Oh, I know perfectly what you were trying to achieve. I know your kind, Time Agent, and believe me, I’m not falling for any of your fancy manipulation techniques.”

“I wasn’t trying to manipulate you,” Jack said, despair creeping in his voice.

Ksiba only scoffed, and Jack felt the pit of dread in his stomach grow. The Savachanlar wasn’t even wrong – Jack had been holding back on his true feelings with the intent to placate him. Because the former Time Agent was unable to talk to anybody without trying to manipulate them in some way or another. Before meeting the Doctor and Rose, he had not thought much of it; everybody had their own agenda, and you only needed to make sure that yours would prevail. But now that he had realised people like them existed…

Given a point of reference, Jack could really see just how contemptible he was. Sure, he hadn’t killed Ksiba’s family, but for all the lives he had ruined and all the people he had hurt, he probably deserved some of what the alien intended to do to him.

When the Savachanlar fished a short leash out of his pockets and clasped it into Jack’s collar, he did not even protest. Ksiba dragged him out of the Visitor’s Centre and through several streets, abruptly pulling on the leash in ways that were clearly designed to hurt. Jack did not attempt to fight it. Pain was nothing new. He would endure, and try to survive.

Not that he had any other option.

x-x-x

The Doctor was walking briskly, doing his best to prevent Rose from wandering off.

It would have been a relatively normal occurrence, if not for the dangerous substance wreaking havoc in her body. The Time Lord had not wanted Jack to worry too much, or to feel needless guilt, but the thing Rose had eaten could end up hurting her quite badly, if she did not get treatment. For now, at least, she did not seem to be in pain, but the substance was severely impairing her cognitive functions. She acted, and likely felt, like someone very high on a perception-altering drug – except that the drug in question would not gently exit her system after a while, but rather cause massive brain damage.

If they had not come back to get her when they had…

But the Doctor refused to consider the possibility. They had arrived in time; the poison would have needed at least five more hours to cause major harm, and they were getting closer to the Tardis now. Rose would be fine.

Well, she would be if he could stop her from trying to pause every thirty seconds to admire a rock, attempt to lick a random plant, say something unhinged, or a mix of all these things.

It vaguely felt like watching over someone high on regeneration energy – except he didn’t remember that being so exhausting.

“Where is Jack?” Rose suddenly asked. “There’s something… I need to… Oh! Doctor!” she exclaimed, looking thrilled. “My fingers! Look at my fingers!”

It would have been hard not to, given that she was agitating them in front of the Time Lord’s nose.

“I have so many fingers!” Rose giggled. “Had you ever noticed, Doctor? I need to tell Jack! Where is Jack?”

The Doctor tried to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest. It was just normal for his companions to be fond of each other, really. The fact that Jack had kept asking about Rose, and that now Rose couldn’t stop looking for Jack, it didn’t mean…

Well, what if it did? After all, they’re both bright and attractive young humans, a voice in the Time Lord’s head stressed.

Attractive? another voice repeated mockingly. He scowled at himself. Yes, attractive – but it only meant that they would look good together. He needed to encourage them to get closer, instead of indulging in stupid ideas. They both deserved far better than a bitter and lonely Time Lord.

He was startled out of his morose thoughts by the way Rose suddenly leaned much closer to his face, squinting at him. “Your eyes are very blue,” she observed. “Blue. Blue. Blue. Blueblueblueblue. Like a bubble! I like bubbles. And pancakes. I think I’m hungry. Do you have pancakes?”

“You probably shouldn’t eat anything before I’ve had a chance to fully scan you, just to be on the safe side,” the Doctor replied. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was still giving explanations, at this point. Talking to her while she was in this state felt a bit like negotiating with a brick wall.

The young woman pouted, but she was almost immediately distracted again. Her expression had grown more serious, though, almost distressed. “Jack! Where is Jack? We need to find him!”

The Time Lord tried to ignore how Rose’s question was making his worries about the lad resurface. He hadn’t wanted to leave without making sure that Jack would be perfectly fine, and yet he had no real reassurance now… “Why do we need to find him?” he asked. After all, what if Rose had heard of something nefarious being planned… No, he was worrying too much. Savachanlars valued their honour above everything else, didn’t they?

“Find him,” Rose repeated. Her eyes were losing focus again. “Why? Jack…” she stared at the Doctor again. “Oh, Jack has blue eyes too! Just like you! You both have blue eyes! Isn’t it wonderful? We need to tell him!”

“Right.” The alien sighed. It did not seem like he could get any information out of Rose while she was in this state. He still tried to check, “Is that the only reason why we need to find him? To tell him that he has blue eyes? Because I’m pretty sure he’s aware of that already, you know.”

Rose did not seem to have heard him. “Blue! Yes, blue is nice. Jack has nice eyes, don’t you think, Doctor? Really beautiful.”

He was not, the time Lord immediately decided, feeling any sort of jealousy because of that comment. That would have been absurd. Besides, Jack really did have beautiful eyes… The Doctor had been able to see them from a closer angle, recently, and…

No, wrong train of thoughts. He needed to focus on curing Rose as fast as possible and that was it.

“Jack is already in the Tardis,” he declared. Maybe that would make his companion go faster. “We just need to get back to him, okay?”

“Oh!” Rose looked deeply relieved by his lie, making the Doctor feel even more uncomfortable. His gnawing worry about leaving Jack behind was intensifying.

“Is he making pancakes?” the young woman asked joyfully. “Pancakes are good, pancakes in the Tardis are safe! Oh! Blue pancakes! Pancakes that are blue! Like his eyes! Is Jack making blue pancakes, Doctor?”

“Yeah, sure,” he agreed tiredly. Curing Rose was still the priority. But immediately after, he would make sure that she had not overheard anything that could mean Jack was in danger, and he would go back to check that everything was fine for the lad. Which it probably was. But hopefully his human friend would forgive him for being a tad overprotective.

Rose was improvising a song about pancakes now. The Doctor sighed again. He loved her, but her singing voice was not exactly her finest quality.

Sixteen harrowing minutes later, the Tardis finally came into view. The Doctor lead Rose to sickbay as fast as he could and immediately started a full scan. The results were mostly what he had suspected - toxins were ravaging her system, but their effects could be reversed. He immediately started working on an antidote, trusting the TARDIS to keep his companion out of harm's way.

When he managed to produce the desired formula, he quickly injected it into Rose's bloodstream, watching with no small amount of relief as her eyes seemed to come back into focus.

"Doctor?" she asked, frowning. "I feel... weird. What happened? How did I get here?"

"Do you remember staying behind with the Savachanlars so that I could treat Jack’s injuries?" the Time Lord said gently. "It looks like you ate something that really doesn't agree with humans."

Her frown deepened. "I... It's kind of blurry, but... Wait, never mind that – Jack! Where is he? Is he safe?"

“He stayed behind to work for Ksiba, like he agreed,” the Doctor replied gruffly.

 “What?” Rose’s eyes were shooting daggers. “And you just left him there? We need to go back!”

“He said he would be fine,” the Time Lord replied uneasily.

“Like he was fine right after his fight with Ksiba, when he could barely stand upright? Or like he was fine that time on Tjardan when the prison guards beat him up because he was trying to protect us?”

Her acid tone made the Doctor wince. He, too, wanted to go back to Jack, of course, but… “Look, it’s his choice. He could have asked me to get him out of this stupid kulhizmet thing anytime, but he didn’t. He wanted to do the right thing. It’s not our place to decide for him what–”

Rose punched his shoulder, hard. “Idiot! When have you ever seen Jack ask for help with anything? Ksiba’s going to hurt him, Doctor! We need to get him back, now!”

“What? What do you mean, he’s going to hurt him?”

“I mean I overheard a conversation between a guy named Sourv and some other Savachanlar and they plan on having Jack working in a brothel! Whether he likes it or not!”

“What? No, never mind. We’re going. You’ll tell me more on the way.”

The Doctor was already half-way through the door when he realised something. “Actually, you should probably stay in the Tardis, get some rest,” he told his companion. “That thing you ate, and then the antidote, it’s probably exhausting for your body, and–”

Rose punched his shoulder again. “If you think there’s any chance in hell of that happening, you’re dumber than you look. And don’t you dare try to argue with me when we could be using that time to rescue Jack.” The fierce look in his eyes told the Doctor that she would accept no retort, and he reluctantly nodded.

But running all the way back to the centre of the Savanchalars’ city was not a practical solution. Even if Rose had been at her best, it simply wouldn’t agree with a human constitution. And, although the Time Lord would not admit it out loud, it would have been taxing on him as well. So they walked, as fast as they could, the Doctor explaining to Rose what Jack had told him about kulhizmet and adding that he had always planned to find a way to make sure that Ksiba would not abuse his position.

“I was already thinking of going back. Just to watch from afar, not to intervene,” he admitted. “Unless Jack needed it, of course. Now what exactly did you hear these people say?”

“Well the one named Sourv was complaining that Ksiba owed him something, and the other one said he could probably get Jack to work in his brothel,” Rose said with a grimace.

The Doctor hesitated. “Did they say anything about forcing him, though? Because, if Jack wants to… perform sexual services… well it’s not… I mean, we might not like it, but if he’s okay with it, we shouldn’t…”

“I’m not trying to control Jack’s sex life, Doctor!” Rose protested hotly. “Sourv said that Jack might not wanna work for him, and the other guy replied something like: ‘You really think Ksiba would take no for an answer? From a Time Agent?’ and Sourv laughed and said that the matter was settled, then. And I talked to Tipnum, too, and he said that no Savachanlar in their right mind would ever accept to become Ksiba’s kulhizmet. This guy is bad news, Doctor, and everyone seems to agree on that.”

The Time Lord clenched his fists and did not reply, too busy blaming himself for his foolishness. He should have done more. He’d had a bad feeling about this since the beginning, and yet he hadn’t put in place any contingency plan. Such an idiot.

Jack deserved so much better.

He had not said it to Rose, of course, but he strongly felt that too much time had gone by already. Jack could have been hurt in any numbers of ways. Ksiba could have kidnapped him and gone into hiding. The Doctor had a time machine, yes… but even the Tardis was not always enough to make sure that he was not too late.