Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It surprised him that such an expensive couch could be so hard.

Sohma, Yuki wanted to complain about it. He wanted to make a joke about them sitting on a rock. That would have required opening his mouth however and at this moment, in the overly friendly hall of the psychiatric hospital, he couldn't. An invisible force kept his lips tightly closed. It was the same pressure, baring down on his slim shoulders under the tan waist coat, that kept his hand clutched around Honda, Tohru's smaller hand. The grip had to fall just on the wrong side of painful, it had to sweaty, and yet she didn't wince in the slightest.

For that he was eternally grateful as the minutes ticked by.

They came too early. The release was not scheduled until later afternoon, an obscure time frame at best, but Yuki insisted on not waiting. Sitting around too long thinking about the day's event would have sent him back to his room, whole body tucked under the plush comforter of his bed, shaking for fear of what could happen and what could be. Even now on their rockish blue couch, he dreaded the worst. It seemed like tempting fate to hope for the best.

At his side, Tohru coughed into her hand, not sick but kind enough to catch his attention, "Yuki, if you are not feeling up to this, I can call Kyou. He offered to take off work early and come."

Shaking his head felt like treading water, "Thank you, Tohru, but I'm fine." He paused too long for her to look convinced and so he pressed on, "I'm just nervous. It's been so long since I last…" He drifted off and she let him. Tohru knew, Yuki had spilled the entire story one late night as the band of them sat in his living room, tea and coffee brewing one pot after another, to the brown haired girl, her two friends, and a few Sohma who already to some extent knew.

Stories that felt like a life time ago.

Instead she shifted, hair flipping over her shoulder with the movement closer to him, "How much longer do you think it will be?" On anyone else, it would have sounded impatient, it would have annoyed him. For Tohru, the closest thing he had to a sister, her earnest curiosity showed through the statement.

Yuki sighed and leaned his head back on the couch, "I don't know. They said something about checking medicines when we signed in."

When they signed in, when they got patted down for weapons, when Yuki felt like they were visiting a convict locked up in a prison.

The conversation lapsed again but it was comfortable. They did not need to be talking. Tohru, always the empathic one, kept her grounding hold on his hand and it was all Yuki needed from her. Something firm and real in the face of how unreal everything about the past two weeks had felt. Hard to imagine only two weeks ago they were on class trip in Kyoto, celebrating something or other, unknowing what waited them at home. Momiji had made a joke about how they should just stay in the school sanctioned hotel forever and live out their lives there. Looking back, Yuki wishes he had.

Instead he went home from the station with Kyo and Tohru, arguing all the while as always. Yuki did not even remember over what anymore. He didn't know what awaited. He didn't know the reason for Hatori to be sitting on the couch looking especially stoney while a somber looking Ayame sat beside him. The snake of the Zodiac did not do that expression often. Everything was a joke to the white haired man - his whole existence a running comedy show except for then. That day Ayame clutched Hatori's hand ever tighter as the man told Yuki and Kyou to sit, that they had something important to discuss, and then proceeded to drop a revelation on them. It was the very same Hatori who walked out of the room right after to pursue a fleeing Kyou, whose first response to big news was usually to run. Something not even therapy could really fix. It was that same somber Ayame who sat beside Yuki, told him it was okay to cry, and awkwardly waited while his younger brother did the best possible rendition of a stone statue.

The statue act really carried him through the ordeal until now.

A blonde nurse, hair up in a tight pony and scrubs a pale pink, cracked open the doors to the 'back', "Sohma?"

With one last squeeze, Yuki released Tohru's poor hand to answer the woman, "That's me. Is it time or…?"

"Not yet!" The nurse waved frantic hands while crossing over, dropping into a chair on the far side of Yuki from Tohru. Both of them turned to her as she continued, "Sorry, I know you've been here awhile. We are almost there but I need to cover a few small remaining details before we carry on with the release of care."

She produced a clipboard from somewhere, Yuki was too dazed to pay it much mind. Precious little time was wasted before she launched into her job.

"Did each member of the household read the packet we sent?"

Tohru looked to Yuki and when he just sighed, she answered for them, "Yes, Hatori had us all read it."

The nurse nodded, marking her sheet, "Good, I assumed so, Dr. Sohma has been quite helpful. I already talked to him about housing and medications. I had hoped to talk to him in person today but I understand him being busy with such a large family."

At this Yuki did respond, voice low enough the woman had to lean forward, "Some of our relatives have not been handling … this … very well."

The woman looked concerned by that until Tohru frantically waved her hands, face reassuring, "Hatori is working on them though. He told us to call him once everything was finished and he or Ayame are picking us up."

Another nod from the nurse, more notes. She looked straight at Yuki this time while speaking, "You have the emergency contact number saved, right? If not, I must insist you do so now."

The emergency contact number to the police.

To a case worker.

Yuki felt Tohru's light squeeze as he answered, "Yes, Ayame, my brother, insisted I set it to speed dial. Do you…" He hesitated, pulling in a breath and steeling himself, "Do you think I will ever need to use it?"

She paused, hand hovering over the page, and pinned a serious look on him, "We would rather be safe. While there hasn't been a disciplinary issue in several months, we are not sure how exposure is going to affect him. I need your assurance that if anything happens you will use the number."

They wanted him ready to call the police at any moment.

"I will use it if I need to."

The woman smiled, one Yuki and Tohru tried to match, as she stood, "Good, that is all I needed to confirm. I should be back in a few minutes." She paused, fingers tapping on her board, "He will be sedated and in a wheelchair. It's not permanent - as we discussed with Dr. Sohma - and he should be up and walking around by this evening. His doctor here just decided it would be best for a controlled first exposure. Will you need assistance moving him into your vehicle?"

"No, our driver should be able to help."

She nodded, "Fantastic. Just a moment then."

Neither spoke as they waited, save Tohru calling to let their driver know they were nearly done.

Maybe five minutes later the two heard 'Sohma' called over the intercom and stood, making their way to the double doors leading back. First came a large, balding man in blue scrubs. He held the door while the nurse from earlier wheeled out the patient.

Tohru, as always, handled the situation better. She immediately crouched down in front of the chair and smiled while Yuki just tried to breath, "Hello, Hatsuharu, my name is Tohru. I'm a friend of Kyou and Yuki's."

Haru.

He was taller than before, Yuki could tell even with him sitting. The distinctive Ox white hair fell limp around his head, stark and washed out against the white turtleneck and dark jeans the facility put him in. Tohru helped the bald orderly put some slip on shoes on his feet while Yuki just stared like an idiot. Haru had gotten bigger, obviously, but he actually looked really healthy. More like he took sabbatical for health rather than got hospitalized. The boy was always stout but not like this.

It made it even harder for Yuki to watch as Haru's head lolled down, a faint, childish smile on his sleepy looking face, "Hello, Tohru, I'm Haru."

He sounded drunk enough that Yuki shot a glance at the nurse and she smiled, at ease with the tone, treating it as normal, "Don't worry, this will only last for a little while as I said. It is just a precaution." She stepped around the chair and leaned down by Haru, a hand on his shoulder so the white haired teen looked up at her, "Haru, do you remember who is coming to pick you up?"

Yuki's chest clenched tight, struggling to even breath, as the Ox of the Zodiac practically sang, "Yes Ms. Ishikawa, my Yuki is coming to take me home today."

The mouse moved to step forward but the nurse, Ms. Ishikawa apparently, stopped him, "Haru, we talked about this, remember?"

The Ox looked confused for a moment, head tilting to the side, eyes unfocused, before his smile returned, "I'm sorry, I forgot again. I'm not supposed to call him mine anymore."

Yuki practically felt Tohru's concerned look his way.

Ishikawa patted Haru's shoulder, "That's right, Haru. People do not belong to us." She waited till the boy managed to parrot the statement back before stepping away, her attention turning to Yuki, "Remember what the pamphlet said, please. If he says anything strange to you, please correct him immediately." She paused, one finger tapping at her chin, "The recommendation that you not be alone with him stands, but I honestly do not think Haru will trouble you much. He's been a good boy for me at least. However if you are uncomfortable, I would suggest just leaving and letting an adult like Dr. Sohma handle him, okay?"

Yuki stared at her for a moment before nodding. His mouth felt like so much sand would tumble out if he opened it. It fell to Tohru again to enthuastically agree, "Hatori has already said that there should always be two of us just in case anything goes wrong." Her smile nearly sparkled, hands clasped before her chest, "Yuki's caretaker was very clear with us on everything."

The nurse kept her focus on Yuki a moment, waiting perhaps, before sighing and looking to Tohru, "Be that as it may - part of our release terms is having them interact. We need to ensure that-"

"I'm sorry, I'll do it."

Tohru and the nurse both looked to Yuki as he cut her off, one hand pushing through his hair, "I'm sorry, I do not mean to be weird. It's just…it's been a long time. I thought I was more ready than this."

"Yuki…" Tohru practically whispered.

With a sigh he stepped forward, "May I have just a moment with him alone? This is…it's a little…"

To his surprise, Ishikawa smiled at that, "Of course, I can only imagine. We can't go far but perhaps right over there," she pointed toward the couch and chairs by the wall, "would suffice? I can explain the rest to miss Honda in the mean time?"

"Thank you."

The nurse and Tohru stepped away to talk while the bald orderly, his work apparently done, went to talk to the receptionist. None of them were far enough away to give anything more than an illusion of privacy.

With a sigh, Yuki decided it would have to be enough, and crouched down on one knee before his wheelchair bound relative. Haru had yet to lift his head - probably too sedated to have the energy - but from the low vantage point the Mouse found those brown eyes locked on him, watching his every move. It was uncomfortably close to how he imagined some creature under a microscope would feel. Especially as, upon their eyes meeting, Haru's widened for a moment before his mouth moved, lips sluggishly forming a grin. It was the same pleased with himself look of the Ox that had lived in Yuki's dreams for years. Even older, taller, and with harder lines in his face, Yuki would recognize that look.

"Yuki…" It was practically a whimper.

A feeling raced through Yuki's veins, clearing his nerves away, blasting open a path for him to place a hand on the other boy's knee, "Hey Haru, I'm here to pick you up."

The white haired boy's smile twitched up before falling, his eyes losing focus for a moment, "They said you were…I…I didn't," his struggle for the words seemed so real that Yuki leaned in closer to hear, practically face to face, "…I didn't think you would come. I mean…you didn't even call at Christmas, right?"

It took Yuki's everything to hide the twitch, full body as it aspired to be, and instead squeeze the Ox's knee, "I'm sorry, Haru. I wasn't allowed to this year. I wanted to, I promise. They said it was needed."

They being the doctors in charge of the Ox's care, the mysterious people whom only Hatori had contact with. Yuki had not been allowed to call to see how the 'patient' would react to something perceived as 'negative' from the 'obsession'. It was an important part of Haru's treatment, as Hatori had explained to him that day, but it still felt wrong at the time. He felt even worse for it now watching the Ox speak so sadly while staring at the point where their bodies connected. The aura of sadness around the wheelchair bound boy seemed almost tangible.

And yet in the end his sad smile returned as brown eyes flicked up, catching Yuki's gray, "It's okay Yuki." He paused, eyes flicking off somewhere to the right, mouth open. It almost looked like he would drool on himself for a moment. Just how much sedation did they have the Ox under? It took a moment for his focus to return and the sentiment to continue, "I knew you would not just forget me that way. The person I love…" Haru tossed his head slowly back and forth while Yuki waited, more patient than he knew himself capable of, "I mean, Yuki isn't like that. I'm sorry - I'm not supposed to say that either."

Sad as he was to see the Ox so confused, Yuki could not help the tiny smile at his confused tone, "It's okay, Haru, it didn't bother me."

Another back and forth head toss from the boy, insistent, "No… Yuki, if I say the wrong things, they won't let me go see you."

It hurt something deep inside of him. Tohru and the Nurse looked his way and the orderly stood to attention as Yuki stood and leaned over the chair, one arm on Haru's shoulder and the other on his chin, pushing the Ox's head up for the first time. It wasn't a trick of the light - the younger boy's eyes were wet, practically sparkling at the corners in his misery, and it was too much, the Mouse could not stand this feeling.

He did not have to force a smile this time.

"Haru, you're not coming to visit… you're coming to live with us."

A trail of water fell from the Ox's right eye and Yuki caught it on a finger, brushing it away, as he spoke,

"Welcome home, Hatsuharu."

X X X X X X X X X X

Hatori never drank, not for a long time, so Ayame was surprised to find the dragon nursing something other than tea in his study. It was already enough of a surprise to have the doctor call on him for once. The snake of the Zodiac expected something when he got that call telling him to come over. He didn't know what. Maybe the taciturn head of their family had gotten into a messy affair, lost a lot of money, or done wrong by a patient. None of those would have the man sitting with only a small lamp on drinking barely past noon.

Ayame pushed the office door open further and slipped through, whole body pressing it closed behind him, "Should I be scared to come in, Tori?"

The interim head of their family let out a small huff - as close as he typically got to a laugh these days. A matching glass appeared on the desk as Ayame took a seat. Somewhere in the pour the sake changed hands, a natural shift, and the white haired man served them both skillfully. Hatori let it happen as he always did.

"I got a call from a case worker today."

Ayame quirked a brow at the tone, "Which one? We have so many now."

The Snake's hand froze mid-pour, almost over doing it, when Hatori responded with, "Hatsuharu's."

Recovering quickly, he lifted one of the cups between two fine fingers and placed it before the doctor. The other went to himself as Ayame leaned back in the uncomfortable office chair, one leg thrown over the other at the knee. It seemed like something was expected of him as the two men stared at each other. Perhaps it was a game of sorts at this point - goading each other into asking questions, even for serious matters such as this.

Finally, as usual, Hatori relented with a put upon sigh. The noise itself was proof of his drinking, "They said the new therapy approach they tried is working. The 'black Haru' personality is, from what his doctor said, almost entirely dormant. They haven't had an episode in three months. Apparently he is also a fan of art therapy and becoming quite the painter."

Ayame let out a 'hmm' sound as he swirled the already half empty cup, "I can't imagine that boy painting."

A huff, "Most of it is animals. Mice in particular I'm told."

At that the white haired man let out a tiny laugh, a smile not quite full on his lips, "Of course, that at least matches up with our dear Ox boy."

Time passed between them as the two men drank until finally Hatori pushed away the glass and leaned forward, elbows on the desk, fingers finding his hair, "They want to release him into my care shortly after the new year."

It was a marked sign that Ayame also pushed away his drink, face far more serious than normal, "Release him? I thought the court order was set to hold up for eight years?"

A nod, "It was, but they've judged his progress steady enough for an early release."

Ayame leaned forward, one arm curling on the desk before him, "I guess it makes sense. You said yourself that facility was the best money could afford. So what is to happen with the rest of his sentence? Have you already been in touch with the lawyers?"

"I called and checked into it immediately, of course. Considering the deal was he seek extensive in-patient treatment in order to avoid prison, as well as his status as a minor, it holds up. It is fully at the discretion of his doctor when he can be released, and they have chosen now." Hatori sounded exhausted as he spoke, fingers still clutched to his dark locks, "I'm pleased, of course, having him in there was a risk in and of itself. I just did not expect it so soon. I feel like I just got everything running smoothly and now this is one other thing dropping."

Ayame did giggle at that, something that got him a dark look from the dragon, "Why, Tori, I feel like I've become your personal therapist. Do you need me to rub your shoulders and take some of the edge off?"

The look he received pulled a full on laugh from the Snake. He started weaving his hair between his fingers, "Still though, this is quite the surprise, as happy as I am to hear dear Hatsuharu will be coming home." A pause, a sharpening of his yellow eyes, "Have you informed Yuki and the other children yet?"

Hatori head shook into his palm, "None of them know."

"Ah…" Ayame wasn't surprised, really, "So I'm the first you've told? Does this make us conspirators again? It's been so long. Will we be hiding it until it's time or will we be telling the children together?"

"We can't hide it. The facility had some stipulations for the release."

"Of course," Ayame waved his arms wide in a flourish, "What do we need to do?"

Finally, for the betterment of him not being bald one day, Hatori released his hair and sat heavily back, "First, I need to arrange a room for him with a lock. Second, he can not attend a public school yet, so I'll have to contact some of the family tutors to catch him up to where he academically should be."

Ayame waved his hand, "The Ox may not be the brightest boy around but I can find someone for you. Four years worth of material, yes?"

Hatori nodded, "They kept up some lessons in the facility but considering some of his earlier issues, it's fair to say he's three years behind."

Ayame hmm'd while making a note in his phone, "What else?"

"They will be sending information that everyone has to read, at least those living here. So one for me, as I'll be taking over his care, and then more basic packets for Yuki, Kyou, and Tohru. I'll probably let her read mine since she is practically my assistant." Ayame's grin at that went solidly ignored. It was still something of a family joke - Hatori adopting a live in nurse assistant like one finds a stray. "I suppose I'll make a copy for you and Momiji as well. The two of you are over here enough that you'll need to know."

"Eh, I might read it I suppose…" They both knew he would. Though his joking tone immediately fell away, "So how are you going to break the news to my dear little brother?"

Another deep sigh from Hatori got one of Ayame's carefully sharpened brows lifted, "I considered waiting but one of their stipulations directly concerned him. The Christmas call has to be canceled. They want to see how Haru reacts to that before finalizing the details of his release."

The Snake winced, switching his legs one over another, "Yuki is going to be upset about that."

The Christmas call was practically a tradition for the past few years. Visits were not allowed, as per the treatment conditions, and the amount of outside contact was incredibly limited. Even the Christmas call could not exceed thirty minutes. Every Christmas Hatori would call the facility, set up the call, and the assembled family wished the Ox a collective happy holiday. Just that, one Merry Christmas all together, before Yuki dragged the phone into another room and talked to Hatsuharu privately for the rest of the allotted time. Everyone understood it was a private conversation and didn't try to listen in.

Not that they all weren't extremely curious.

"He's definitely not going to like it."

Throwing himself back in the seat, arms spread wide in his red coat, Ayame groaned, "Ah, this Christmas is practically ruined before it even began! First Kyou and Tohru made it official, leaving my poor brother out in the cold of young romance, then Kagura's family decided to cut ties, and now this! Torrriiiiii, can I skip-"

"No."

With a cry Ayame snatched up his cup and finished it off, slamming the cup back down, "Tori is so mean! This is why they should have voted me interim Head."

Hatori leaned forward onto his elbows, eyes sharp, "You want the job now?"

"No! No! Never!" Ayame cried with a flourish, hand sharply waving, "That much pressure would entirely ruin my lifestyle of fun and mystique."

The two shared a laugh over that, subdued as it was, before Ayame grew serious, "Have you informed Gure yet?"

The good mood evaporated, "No, I am going to let him know once everything is finalized."

Ah, this was not going to go over well, the Snake already knew it, "Do you think he will try and fight it? Our dear friend is not going to like this at all."

Ayame truly never wanted to be family head with how sometimes, just by being asked a question, Hatori seemed to age so, "I know. It would not surprise me if he tries to fight it in court. I'm hoping to have the matter with him settled before the children are back from Kyoto. There is going to be enough strain this holiday without him putting in an appearance to make things worse."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that." At Hatori's confused look, Ayame went on, tone somber for the Snake.

"He would not leave her bedside on Christmas, not for anything."

X X X X X X X X X X

Cold.

He was always cold in his room.

Akito had covered the vents letting in heat.

Today though, for this passing moment, this one Christmas, he was warm. He was comfortable. The boy with him did martial arts regularly enough that leaning against him was solid. He could feel the density of muscle under his hand. The arm over Yuki's shoulders, slimmed even more by missed meals, radiated heat to the back of the Mouse's head. Could a brain get cold? It felt that way sometimes. His thoughts felt sluggish and unmoving, time stretching on endlessly ahead of him in between these moments. It was so warm.

He would be cold again soon.

But for right now his body actually felt alive.

Something pressed to his lips, "Yuki, you have to eat."

Did he have to eat? Akito said that he was fasting.

"Please eat, for me."

Damn. Haru was begging.

He took it slow, brain still grasping at what was happening, mouth moving on automatic. It felt weird after so many days to actually chew. Haru was smart enough to keep it easy. Instead of anything too luxurious from the main family dinner, the Ox had just snuck away some bread. Tasteless, a bit bland, meant to be eaten with another dish, probably a soup. Yuki wished the Ox brought soup instead. It would have been impossible to hide but soup would not taste like sand. It would not dry out his already dry mouth even further. There wasn't any water in the room to wash it down with. He was going to choke. He was going to throw this back up. If he threw up again, Akito would rage over the mess.

The Cow kept talking and Yuki could not even respond.

'Haru, you idiot.'

"I'm sorry, I didn't have time to grab a bottled drink."

'Idiot Cow…'

"I'm sorry, Yuki. Please just eat it."

'I'm going to choke and die.'

"Please just eat what you can, for me."

The fingers at his mouth, another piece of bread, insistent.

Stupid sweet Cow, always caring for him.

Yuki coughed and the fingers moved away taking the bread with it, finally. A few bites. Enough to break his fast. Enough to enrage Akito. Yuki's stomach grumbled with the effort to handle what was given to it. His body churned with a wave of nausea.

His body warmed as Haru pulled him in further. Yuki, in his thin kimono, practically sat in the bigger boy's lap now. One arm held him around the shoulders and the other sat over his waist. If he glanced down with unfocused eyes he would see nothing but white hair pressed against his neck. It was the most someone had touched him in months. It was definitely the first time someone held him so close, so delicately, in much, much longer.

His neck felt wet. The boy was crying.

Troublesome.

But Haru almost never cried.

It took effort, real concentrated effort, to lift his hand to the younger boy's cheek. He didn't have the energy to move his fingers. It wasn't a grasp, it was barely a tap, but Haru leapt on it, face pushing into the offered palm.

Truly troublesome.

"I'm going to get you out of here."

'No, you won't.'

"I don't care if I have to beg. I'll do it.'

It was impossible to imagine the Ox begging.

"This can't go on. Yuki, you look like a corpse."

A new rush of tears, a great sob from the white haired boy, and Yuki just wanted to sigh. To thank him for the insult. Thanks for reminding how bad he looked, how awful his world was. It was frustrating. Everything, all of it, so frustrating. Yuki found the strength to press his palm against the other's chest, to push him away, but Haru wouldn't go. He didn't understand. Instead the boy pressed closer, body pressed so close that Mouse and Ox were in danger of becoming one.

"Whatever it takes. I'll do anything to set you free."

There was a knock at the door, a warning from whoever it was that sat outside watching for people. Yuki knew they weren't alone. There had to be someone who helped Haru sneak in and out of the room without ever being caught. Usually Yuki hated that person, not for helping but for cutting their moment short with those quiet warnings. It meant the one bit of outside world come to visit would be snatched away from him.

It meant Haru would be taken away.

Today, that day, it was the first time Yuki was happy he had to leave.

Don't come back.

Forget I'm here.

Don't risk trouble.

'Just let me die.'

It could not be that far off.

X X X X X X X X X X

Tohru, still in her school outfit, worked to make their dinner. They were going to have a soup with a potato base. In the other room her mother sprawled across the living room floor, head held aloft by a hand, a bag of crisps opened in front of her. The other hand flipped idly through the channels looking for something to watch. So far, the longest she settled was on a nature documentary that only interested at first glance.

Then she flipped over to a more local news channel.

"The chaos at the Sohma compound…"

The sound of sirens from the TV, muted in effect, had Tohru glancing over.

Kyoko Honda actually sat up lazily, chin falling onto her knuckles, suddenly interested, "They said Sohma, right?"

"Yes?"

"Hmm…that kid is one of them, I think?"

Kyoko turned up the television as Tohru went back to stirring.

On the screen they showed a video of the compound's entrance, three police vehicles, and an ambulance. It was late enough at night that the quality was poor, but not so bad as to hide all the people milling around. It seemed like half the compound, practically a small city all it's own, had spilled out into streets by those tall gates.

A pretty newslady in a pressed suit was still talking.

"The incident occurred not long ago and police are still sorting out the details. So far all we've learned is that a member of the household attempted to kill the head of the Sohma family. It would seem that a maid in the main house panicked and called the police after stumbling on the scene."

A picture popped up in the top left; a pretty, dark haired man, beneath whom was the name Akito Sohma. It looked to be a picture taken at some social event. The man wasn't smiling, he looked mildly annoyed if anything.

Kyoko thanked Tohru for the meal as her daughter sat, "I had no idea the head of that stuffy family was so young!"

Tohru just nodded, eyes on the screen as she blew at her soup.

The reporter continued, "At this time it is unknown what led to the incident. The Sohma family is known for being extremely private and eye witnesses have not been very forthcoming. So far all we know is the police have ruled it an attempted homicide -"

The woman cut off as the camera shifted suddenly. Those large gates were open and two paramedics plus a tall, dark haired man in tan coat rushed out pushing a stetcher. Behind them came another dark haired man in a dark blue, old style kimono, trailing the stretcher all the way to the waiting ambulance. It was clear the cameraman attempted to get closer and focus for even a glimpse of the victim. He did not accomplish much more than a flash of white, some form of modesty sheet over the body, and a flash of red before the body was loaded away.

It was impossible to really get anything more than footage of the ambulance peeling out. However, the camera was suddenly in the face of kimono man. In a flash the pretty newslady was at his side, microphone up, one hand held to her ear.

"Excuse me, can you give us a comment on the current situation?"

The man seemed more confused than anything, looking toward the retreating ambulance, the camera, the woman, and then off again. Up close the camera revealed more than just his confusion however. It also displayed the deep coating of red across the front of his kimono, a splattering as if he clutched an injured person close. The camera seemed to really be zooming in on those spots aggressively.

Kyoko sighed, taking a sip of her soup, "It's messed up to bother that man."

"He seems so upset…" Tohru mumbled, hand stilled from eating, and Kyoko looked over at her, "I mean, he's crying, right?"

Upon looking back, Kyoko realized he was. The man on screen wasn't screaming or a mess but those eyes were misty. He looked the kind of cold distraught that Kyoko had seen on the streets so many times. The face of those who saw horrible violence and had to deal with the aftermath. Unbidden, her heart went out to the man, especially as the reporter practically shoved the mic in his face.

"Sir! Do you have any comment-"

"That damn Hatsuharu…"

His voice was so quiet, sharp as a knife, it cut to the bone.

Then it was gone as the other dark haired man, the one in the long coat, bodily shoved the microphone away from kimono man, "This interview is over! Shigure, get back inside and say nothing else to anyone, right now!" Kimono man seemed like he had a lot more to say, the look on his face was particularly nasty, but he turned and left. Coat guy remained behind and raised a finger, practically pointing it into the camera, "This is wildly inappropriate. Any further harassment of my-"

It cut to commercial.

Kyoko whistled, soup spoon forgotten halfway to her mouth, "That guy looked furious! I would be too, that's messed up!"

Tohru looked a little queasy, "It's so mean to bother them now."

Smiling, Kyoko reached over and ruffled her daughter's hair, "That's right, it's totally rude. Oh, they're back."

On TV, the reporter was back, her looks still intense, though now they were quite far from the compound gates. One of the police cars had also departed.

"We apologize for the earlier interruption," She looked less apologetic than annoyed, "but we have since confirmed new information! Comments made on site have shown us that it was a minor who attacked Sohma, Akito. As you all know, we are not permitted to show the face of a minor when it relates to violent crimes such as these."

Suddenly the woman kept talking but there was no sound.

Kyoko looked to her daughter to see the girl holding the remote, finger hovering over the mute.

"Mom, I think there's someone at the door?"

Leaning back on her hands, Kyoko listened for the knock, only standing when she heard it again, "Is Arisa supposed to come over today?"

Tohru seemed equally confused, shaking her head.

Opening the door expecting to see a blonde haired girl, Kyoko drew up short. Instead of the tall girl a boy stood at her door, body practically buried in a puffy jacket two sizes too big, gray hat pulled down as low as it would go. Even still, the bits of orange colored hair poking out the sides clued her in quickly.

"…Kid?"

He seemed to sink even deeper into the sports coat, speaking more into the collar than not, "I'm sorry for bothering you, Kyoko. I just…" The kid hesitated and she leaned further out the door, peering left and right, he really was alone, "I didn't know where to go. Sensei said I had to get out of the compound immediately and…well…"

He looked so uneasy, Kyoko felt her heart tug for the kid.

…but, "You didn't run away from home, right?"

It wasn't the most convincing, "No", but it had to do.

With a sigh, she turned and let the boy follow her inside, allowing him to close the door behind him.

"Tohru, we have another stray coming in."

Her brown haired daughter poked her head around the corner, "Hello!"

The orange haired boy with her waved half heartedly.

Another sour attitude for her daughter to uplift, wonderful!

"His name is Sohma, Kyou." That caught her daughter's attention. Tohru's eyes got wide as she glanced from her mom to the strange boy intruding on their home. He shuffled nervously in place as Kyoko knocked a hand on the wall, still blocking his way into the living area, "Why don't you turn the television off and grab him a plate."

She turned back to the boy as Tohru, her genius daughter, scrambled to turn the news report off.

"You eaten?"

He was hunched in, looking uncomfortable again, while shaking his head.

It really was another Arisa.

"Okay then, Tohru will get you some food while we see to calling this Sensei of yours. He must be worried."

X X X X X X X X X X

Haru was still taller than him. Perhaps that was a strange thing to focus on. Their height difference seemed so much at one point. The Cow of the Zodiac hit a growth spurt early and towered over most of their peers. Now though, years later, he was only a little taller than Yuki. Enough so that when Yuki peered from the corner of his eye he had to look up ever so slightly, even seated in the back of a car.

Perhaps anything was better to focus on than the fact Haru hardly moved. Ever since they helped him from wheelchair to the backseat, the white haired teen barely shifted a muscle. His head leaned back against the headrest, eyes fixed heavenward. Haru would have seemed asleep except for two things.

One, his eyes were open, however thin slitted.

Two, his hand wrapped around Yuki's before they even left the facility parking lot, and it stayed that way the entire trip. It was a loose grip that barely even constituted a hold. No one seemed to even notice it really. Tohru certainly called no attention to it as she stayed turned in her seat, facing them, talking to an unresponsive Haru about his things being sent to the estate, or as she chatted with the driver Hatori hired to carry them back and forth.

Yuki just…he didn't know what to say, so he said nothing.

Hatsuharu was free.

Under heavy stipulations, but he was free.

Yuki squeezed his hand and the Ox's lip twitched.

It was…this was…everything was good, right?

The driver called, "Master Yuki, we will be arriving at the estate shortly."

Yuki opened his mouth to thank the man but instead of words let out a squeak, his hand suddenly being crushed. Tohru and the driver both jerked their heads to look - dangerous in midday traffic - as Yuki used both hands to try and pry Haru's grip loose. The white haired teen wasn't looking to the sky anymore. Instead his head, so languid before, had whipped to Yuki in a wide eyed stare.

"Yuki, I can't go back -"

"Haru, we don't-" The mouse had to griy his teeth against the pain, "We don't live with the family anymore. You're coming with us to Hatori's house."

The grip relaxed ever so slightly, still tighter than was comfortable, as Yuki kept both his hands on the Ox's bigger one, "I haven't been to the main house in over two years. Kyou, Tohru, and I all live with Hatori now."

Yuki could not tell if it was regular Haru confusion or the medication as the other boy mumbled, "Kyou too…?"

It didn't matter.

"Yes, the stupid cat too. After Ayame and Hatori got me out of there, Kazuma asked them to take Kyou as well. We all live together now."

The Ox seemed to ponder this for a moment, free hand clutching the collar of his white turtleneck. Those eyes stayed locked on Yuki and never drifted, not even when Tohru spoke, "It is a very beautiful house, Hatsuharu. Hatori is working to have another room built on now for you. Until it's ready, he said you'll be sharing the room with Kyou-"

Haru cut her off, body leaning closer to Yuki, as if sharing a secret even though he spoke too loud, "…I won't be with you?"

Years of training at controlling his face served a purpose sometime, as Yuki never let his expression change in the face of that sad tone, "No, Haru, you will be sharing a room with Kyou." He paused, considering his words, patting the other boy's hand as those eyes grew sad, "I would not have minded but the doctors were very clear with Hatori that it's not allowed."

Haru had a special gift for looking sad and annoyed at the same time, lips downturned even as his eyes rolled, "That's stupid, I would never hurt you, Yuki."

"I know, Haru."

The other boy wasn't done apparently. His body leaned fully into Yuki's, practically turning their closeness into a hug, as the Ox spoke clearly, "Everyone knows I love you the most."

Tohru's face went red and even the driver glanced back in the rear view, one brow arched high.

The mouse just sighed, letting the other boy lay on him, "I know you do, Haru, but we have to follow the rules."

"Don't wanna…"

"I know." Yuki repeated, one hand brushing at the other boy's hair, practically putting him, "I would not want to stay with the stupid cat either."

Tohru peeked back at them, her face still burning up. The two of them were adorable. Hatsuharu's face was nearly buried into Yuki's shoulder, their hands still linked, while Yuki patted at his hair and kept whispering to him about their living arrangements. Her best friend seemed to not notice that his conversation partner had fallen asleep on him.

X X X X X X X X X X

It still felt strange to be outside.

Taboo even.

The button down and slacks had to be new. They itched at his skin, irritating it, not at all like the kimonos he wore for months. The collar tickled at the long gray hair running down his neck. Hatori kept saying they were going to get it cut, that it was too long, and Ayame referred to it lovingly as the 'rat nest, but neither of the older Zodiac ever seemed to have time. The two of them stayed busy. All the older members of the family seemed so busy now.

Even though Akito never seemed to do anything - there seemed so much now.

However, none of that touched Yuki. He went from being locked into a room all the time, never seeing the sun, to being shuttled place to place. Endless bored despair was replaced by endless boredom with different scenery. Sometimes he stayed at Ayame's place and his assistant would have him model. It wasn't something Yuki liked but at least it was a break in the monotony.

Even today sitting in yet another interview room with yet another police officer all felt the same. How many interviews did this one make? Five? Sometimes he felt like less like a mouse than a parrot tugged out of his cage to repeat the same lines. The only difference was who asked the questions and which member of his abruptly shrunken family served as chaperone. Today it was Ayame, usually it was Hatori, and rarely it was Kureno. Today the questions came from a dark haired woman in a pencil skirt and heels, glasses pushed up to her crown.

Always the same questions over and over.

Scratches on clipboards that all looked the same.

"Did Akito Sohma not allow you access to food?"

"No. She called it punishment for my behaviour."

She. What a revelation that had been. He felt so stupid.

"Did Akito Sohma get physically violent with you?"

"Sometimes she would slap me."

He made the mistake once of saying more and they took pictures. Hatori tried to stop it but the police insisted. No one could explain why, it's not like a trial was planned or anything. More evidence, always more and more and more evidence. Standing in just his small clothes in front of camera ranked among the most embarrassing parts of his life thus far.

"How close were you and Hatsuharu?"

"He would sneak in to see me. He said…"

'Today I knocked Kyou on his ass in training.'

'Don't die Yuki, please.'

'I'll run away with you one day.'

'I love you, Yuki.'

"…that he was scared for me."

A mark on the board, "Did he ever say why?"

Always. In so many ways.

"I apparently looked awful."

More marks.

"Some of your family claim that Hatsuharu always had issues with his temper. Did he ever get violent with you?"

"Never."

"Not even once?"

"Not even once."

Why did they never seem convinced by the truth?

"Did Hatsuharu tell you of any plan to attack Akito?"

"No. From what I heard she provoked him."

Mark, "Was Hatsuharu easy to provoke?"

Yes. Any Zodiac was easy for Akito to drive crazy though.

"No, he has always been very kind."

The woman frowned. Ah, she was one of those, an enemy.

"Do you truly believe you would have died under Akito's care?"

Akito would never let him die. Only suffer. Suffer forever.

Her perfect prized pet.

"Yes."

Marks. Questions. Marks. Disappointment.

"Do you believe Hatsuharu assaulting Akito saved your life?"

An easy one. Yuki smiled, even if it was nasty.

"He wanted to get me out of that place no matter what."

"So he was justified, even though Akito is still in a coma?"

The spirit of the rat inside of him wept over that knowledge.

"For me, he is my hero."

X X X X X X X X X X

'GOD IS IN HER HELL'

Shigure crumbled up the note and trashed it like all the others. Somehow despite the official ban placed months ago, Rin kept getting in. Sometimes it would just be letters or notes. Other times she would leave dead flowers in the room, sometimes even on the bed. Anything was better than the spray painted message on the wall that got the Horse banned in the first place. If Shigure focused he could still see the strip of white paint that looked newer than the other walls of the room where they covered it up.

At least she never touched the patient.

Even if the 'Die You Bitch' paint note made them worried.

The room stayed silent as ever save the beep beep of the life support monitor. Sometimes it was louder - days where the doctors said brain activity was accelerated and picked up - but often it was just a steady backdrop to the overall peaceful silence.

Peaceful silence was not something often attributed to Akito Sohma.

She laid there in her bed, hospital sheets drawn up to her neck, arms at her side, legs out straight. They kept her clean to the point of intense sanitation. The nurses who came in and moved her limbs and turned her always put the head of their family back in the same position. They were good. The hospital provided the absolute best care that the riches of the Sohma family could provide for. They even kept her hair, longer now that Akito would ever have worn it, shiny and clean. To someone unaware it looked like the young woman had just gotten out of a shower.

Shigure was not someone unaware. By habit he put a hand over her mouth and waited for the feel of a breath.

Still alive then.

Sometimes he didn't trust the machines beeping.

The chair beside her bed had a well worn print of his ass. At this point, it was the world's most comfortable chair, fit to him like a glove. It didn't matter that he spent less time in it these days compared to the first few months of his God's hospitalization. A few days or a week, even a month while he went out of country, the chair always waited.

As did the delicate, cool hand he clutched in his.

"They are letting him out."

There wasn't a response, he never expected one anymore. At this point Shigure was convinced he would never hear Akito's voice again no matter what her fancy high priced doctors had to say.

"I'm not sure how Hatori pulled it off but they are releasing Hatsuharu into his care."

Two years early. A miracle worker, that Tori.

"He and Ayame didn't want me to know. Kureno told me."

It was the only conversation they had that year. Surprising really that the Rooster bothered. Even with the Sohma clan scattered to the four winds, all living their own lives now, the Rooster always seemed to go further still. Truly a trail blazer that Kureno - the man fled all the way to America to work for some business there. Shigure was waiting for the day that number in his phone fully disconnected. It still surprised the Dog how quickly some of them fled once the eyes of their God closed. He still did not have the first clue as to where Kisa's family ran off to. They took off in the night like a ghost freed from purgatory. Hiro vanished soon after but honestly, that came as a surprise to none of them.

"I considered fighting it but…I think I'm tired now."

Shigure let go of her hand and fell back in his perfect chair.

"The loyal dog is tired. It's like a bad joke."

He rested his chin on a hand and sighed, "I think the only ones who still care are me and Rin, but she hates you, so I'm not sure that really counts."

No response, no surprise, Shigure knew the feeling was mutual.

"Hatsuharu is going to live in Hatori's happy little nest. I'm sure Kyou will love that. He always hated how that boy clinged to the Mouse any chance he got." The smile was natural, authentic, it had been really cute for a time. "I know Momiji is thrilled. Honestly, I think that kid already planned those two a wedding or something." He paused, reaching forward and tap two fingers on her wrist, "You know he asked about you? Yes, the rabbit, asked how you were. I was surprised too. He seemed genuine enough. I told him the truth."

'That I'm basically talking to a corpse.'

"That the doctors keep saying good things. That your vitals are holding and brain activity is present. He sent you his best wishes." Shigure leaned forward, his hand skirting up her thin wrist to the equally thin arm, the shoulder, along her neck, "I thanked him for you. I know that's not what you want, but a princess has to be awake to have wishes."

His fingers, only two, landed on her cheek and trailed the scar. It ran long up the right side of her face, luckily around the eye, and into her hair line. The area nearest her temple expanded out like a star of darkened skin where once, on a night so long ago, the whole thing cracked open like an egg against the floor. Shigure had long since stopped whispering apologies.

Apologies for the night he left her meeting room, waved at Hatsuharu as the Ox waited his turn, and wandered off to bother Hatori.

The night their God basically died.

"I might go see them; Yuki, Kyou, Hatori, Tohru, and him."

He said that a lot but still never went.

"Probably not. They all want to forget."

Must be so much easier for them that way.

"Maybe you shouldn't wake up." Shigures's fingers drifted back to her neck at some point, hovering, not grazing the skin, "Sometimes I look around and think, Akito would hate this', but I think honestly, you would see our new world and go right back to sleep." He laughed to himself and only steady beeps answered, "Your whole precious Zodiac up and moved on. Yes, you would hate every second if you woke up now."

It felt nice to talk about miracles sometimes.

X X X X X X X X X X

Was it really necessary to medicate him this much?

Hatori pulled back, pen light going back in his pocket, and held up a finger, "Follow this with your eyes please."

Hatsuharu did so basically on habit at this point. Getting poked and prodded by no means a new experience. Brown eyes followed the finger back and forth while arms crossed over his bare chest.

It was still a little annoying, "Thought I was done with doctors?"

The finger drew back and Hatori actually smiled, "Considering your caretaker is one now, never."

Haru wasn't sure why it even came as a surprise. He was barely into his new home - which a western style estate, really? - before Hatori took him away. Yuki was not even allowed to come. Sure, he waited right outside the office door with that plain looking girl, but he wasn't in Haru's sight. Almost four years and they barely got two hours together, most of it trying not to fall asleep on Yuki, before getting separated again.

Which, also, "I want to sleep with Yuki."

Hatori's face was great but no, no, that was wrong. Damn meds.

Haru tried that again, "I mean, I don't want to share with Kyou."

Did the dragon have to look so skeptical? Annoying. He was also looking away while pressing the stethoscope to Haru's chest, "I know that's what you want, but I can't allow that to happen."

The cold metal did not even pull a flinch out of Haru.

"Why not?"

Hatori sighed, put upon, as he pulled his hand back, "Hatsuharu," full name, damn, ", I know this was already explained to you before your release. You and Yuki living together was already a hard sell -"

"I would never hurt him and you know it."

If the dragon found the interruption annoying, he hid it well, "I know that, but these rules exist for a reason." The black haired man leaned his body back against the heavy desk, arms crossed, fingers toying with his stethoscope, "What did your primary therapist have to say about you and Yuki."

Inside, Haru practically growled, "You read the file, right?"

Hatori just shrugged, "Humor me."

There wasn't any 'humor' in this, the phrase annoyed him even more. Haru didn't sulk about it cause he was an adult. Nevermind that in reality, he absolutely looked petulant, "They kept saying how I felt for him was unhealthy. One nurse even called it unnatural. I don't think they fully understood how huge the Sohma family is at all." His fingers curled around the rests of the chair tightly, "They kept saying I do not love him." He paused, lips pulled sour, "infatuated, that's one they liked to use. As if I don't know how I feel."

Haru paused, waiting for the interruption, the dismissal, but this wasn't a doctor in the facility. Hatori did not have their face of disgust or discomfort at the topic. The family doctor just waved for him to continue.

"I've loved him since we were kids. And don't say we still are, none of us ever acted our age." Another shrug, it was a little annoying, but Haru kept on his words coming faster, his fingers almost white knuckled, "I love him, I just want him to be happy, and I want to be by his side when he smiles. A real smile, not that fake one he always liked to wear."

Hatori raised a hand, "He does that now, you know? Getting out of the main house was good for him. Tohru and even Kyou have put in a lot of work there."

That drew the Ox up short, mouth hanging, before he shook his head like a shuffle of his thoughts, "No, I mean, yes, I understand that. Of course, Yuki doesn't need me to be happy. That…that's an unhealthy thought. An obsession. Sorry."

"It's okay."

"No," Haru shook his head, "It's not. I get…I can be intense."

Hatori's expression was always so bland, "Yes, I have met Dark Haru."

The two were silent a moment, Hatori just watching while Haru looked to the floor, hands coming to rest in his lap. Being outside again felt strange. Time passed, years passed, everyone felt the same but were clearly so different. Hatori lived outside the estate in a big house with bits of gray in his hair. Yuki was so much taller than he used to be; still slim, but a natural way, not the malnutrition of the Yuki he left behind. Still feminine, still too pretty, but without the feeling of frost creeping the surface.

Even Haru's brief glimpse of Kyou had unsettled him. The Cat was there when they got to the house, waiting, looking tense as ever with his arms crossed. The same old Kyou but wildly different because he smiled and leaned up on the girl - Honda? - with them, welcoming Haru back. The Cat and his girlfriend(?) lived with the Mouse and the Dragon in a big house, living picture perfect lives judging by the photos Haru had seen framed along the walls. One photo showed them at the beach, Yuki with Honda while a tall blonde girl hurled Kyou into the ocean. Hatori had to literally drag Haru away.

"Hatsuharu?"

Shit, he was quiet too long again. But he...he didn't want to say it, which meant he had to, a smile on his face struggling to live, "They all seem happy - even Kyou. Everyone got better." He paused, fingertips tapping together in his lap. Hatori was so patient. He never pushed. The pause stretched over long before Haru slid down on his seat, long legs askew, "I...I want to be here. I want that happiness but...I'll ruin it, Harori. What if I burst the bubble?"

He didn't look up. Did not want to see the Dragon's face when the man let out a sound close to a huff. Did not want to see his face agree. Hatori and Haru had always existed on a mutual wavelength of not dealing with nonsense or sparing feelings over much. If he wasn't wanted, that face would tell him and for once Haru did not want to see that truth.

Yet still he flinched slightly, barely visible, when Hatori kneeled and put a hand on his knee.

"You deserve to be happy as well, Hatsuharu." The Doctor looked so stern; it felt like Haru was a child again getting scolded, "I won't lie to you - not everyone is happy you are here. Some of the family just wanted you gone."

His parents never came to visit. It still hurt.

Hatori continued before that drowned him, "The world of the Sohma you remember is very different now. The Compound a ghost town, many have taken off on their own. You, well..." The pause was short but spoke volumes, "You changed everyone's lives and the results were different for every Sohma. Some will always resent you."

He knew that. It was clear when he did it.

"I'm not sorry."

Hatori looked strained, "You should not say that."

Haru steeled himself, "I'm not."

The Doctor sighed and stood again, walking behind his desk to sit, "Please do not say it to anyone but me then." The man's hands were flat on the desk. Not fidgeting, held there by palms, stable, "Do not say it to Yuki either, please."

It took a lot not to snort, "He knows."

Another sigh, each one revealing how only three years could age the Dragon so much, "I'm sure he does but he does not need to hear it." A pause, the man seemed to consider his words and Haru waited for the command, for the threats. They always took things from him - Akito before and then the Doctors, nothing hurt him, they could only take. He was resolute, ready to be punished.

Yet he was not sure what sort of punishment Hatori's sad smile entailed, "He would be mad at me for telling you this, Haru."

"Then don't."

He was ignored, a common feeling, "It took Yuki a lot of time and therapy to get past blaming himself - to let go of some of the guilt he carried."

Haru's head tilted, eyes ever so wide, "Guilt?"

Hatori nodded slow, "Mhmm, guilt. I know it was a terrible thing for you, Haru." Jail. Trial. The Institution. It was hard to know which the Doctor meant as he continued, "But for Yuki; one day he was trapped in a cage then suddenly he was set free in a war zone. Each member of the family struggling to hold onto what we had, blaming each other, blaming Yuki."

Haru sat up straighter, "But I did it."

"For him." Hatori amended, not quite unkind but honest, "Everyone knew why." A finger started tapping on the desk, atop a thick report, as they stared to each other, "I'm fairly certain telling you this goes against the terms of your release."

The Ox leaned forward in his seat, a monumentous task, "I need to know."

"Do you?" On anyone else it would have sounded mocking. "You need to hear about Yuki leaving a cage to have no one?"

"He had you -"

"No." Hatori cut him off cold and Haru froze, right hand biting into the arm of his chair, "Not at first. The older Zodiac were all too busy trying to control what happened. Keep our secrets."

Haru's head hurt, his mouth felt dry, "But...Ayame was his brother..."

"And Ayame came to my side instead."

He wasn't expressive. The Ox never had been. Yet the new family head probably read a lot into his tense posture, his shoulders closing in, "So...I set him free and what, no one caught him?"

"Are you going Dark?"

He should. So much anger. Years of feeling secure that even with him gone, things would be okay. They crumbled into so much dust and scattered before the force of his heavy sigh. One hand came up to tug at his hair and stopped - they yelled at him for that.

"No. That's mostly over."

Hatori seemed to take that at face value.

"So not you or Ayame...but Shigure-"

"Hates you both." Hatori spared no one.

That was not as much of a surprise as Haru felt it should have been. Still, "Rin? She knew. She helped me-"

"Stop." Hatori held up a hand, palm out, "There are things I do not need to know." And if that felt like a slap - his next words barely gentled it, "None of the Zodiac stood by him at first. We were all too deep in our grief. Kazuma is the one who stepped in and took him for a time."

A ghost of the tension left his shoulders, "Sensei...?"

"Yes, he did what none of us could."

That...was good but, "He had the Cat."

Hatori's eyes were accessing, "Not at the time. He sent Kyou away." Another tired sigh from the man, "With all the anger and accusations, it was too dangerous for the Cat to stay at first. Kyou stayed with Ms. Honda's family while Kazuma helped Yuki. I did not get involved until months later."

It could have been the medication wearing off but Haru's head hurt. It stung almost as much as the tightness in his chest, "So I...I fucked up everyone's-"

Hatori's voice was steel, "You saved Yuki."

"But you said-"

Cut off again, "Our actions were our own. All you need to think about, Hatsuharu, is your own actions. Knowing all this do you still not regret them?"

He should. It hurt.

"No."

Hatori nodded, "And if anyone else asks?"

It felt wrong but, "I...don't answer?"

The man nodded, affirming, "That would be best."

Haru opened his mouth but stopped at a knock on the door. The sound was gentle. Hatori called out to enter and the plain girl - Tohru? - slipped her head in. She was the only one who didn't look tense at all. If anything she smiled directly at Haru while speaking clearly to Hatori, "I'm sorry for interrupting but I just finished dinner."

At the doctor's nod she started to close the door but stopped, head poking back in, eyes still on Haru, "Oh! I forgot to ask! I made soumen. Is that okay or should I make you something else...?"

She was...shockingly polite.

"Haru has never been a picky eater." His eyes cut to Hatori as the Doctor answered for him. "Soumen sounds wonderful."

The girl beamed at both of them before quietly sliding the door shut.

"She's nice."

The Doctor nodded, "She has helped us a lot."

"She knows?"

Hatori shot him a look before standing and pushing his own chair in, all fluid. Much more than Haru practically forcing himself to his own feet.

"Yes, the truth came out shortly into Kyou living with her and her mother. I'm not sure how. I've been told the apartment was small and as you'll no doubt see, Tohru is quite clumsy."

"You didn't wipe their memory?"

Hatori did not even falter on his way to the door.

"I no longer use that ability of mine."

X X X X X X X X X X

Everything was so weird.

Kyou hated it.

He did not hate their new guest - roommate? The Cat had several ideas how the Ox would be on release. Maybe he would be Dark all the time? Maybe he would be more talkative? Too talkative? Excited to be free finally? Maybe he would cling to Yuki like an overgrown leech sharing the same oxygen? He would be his dumb self and say mean things to Tohru unintentionally and Kyou would have to kick his ass across the house, a real Sohma-style welcome.

Instead he got some extreme version of White Haru who wasn't speaking, looked confused by fucking soumen, would not look up, and sat by Yuki but had not touched him once. But okay, Tohru texted and said he was super medicated when they picked him up. So the stupid cow had an excuse and at least wasn't drooling on himself after his talk with Hatori. Plus, Kyou could live without watching the Ox cling to the Mouse considering everything.

Still, that was one of five who had an excuse.

The fuck was going on with the rest of them?

Dinners in their home were typically not quiet, ever. Fact of life. They would all talk, even Hatori, and usually Ayame, Momiji, or Tohru's friends would be over. Food was always a lively experience for them, too lively sometimes. No one would shut the hell up for a second.

Haru had many excuses for being quiet, sure. Fucking Yuki was not speaking either though. The Mouse was doing that thing of his where he squared his shoulders and looked serious, but he wasn't talking, and even Tohru's food was not that good. Hatori, who usually did not text at the table, was glued to his phone with one hand furiously texting in silence. As for Kyou himself, he didn't know what to fucking say either.

Tohru, always kind Tohru, who had never met Haru before and only heard about him, tried her very best to singlehandedly carry a conversation with the entire unresponsive table. She asked how the food was, they all kind of mumbled. She asked the rat about classes and he gave her some dry ass answer. She had a flat conversation with Hatori about him not taking patients for a bit. No one had to question why. She even tried to engage the Ox who would not look up but answered politely but without any damn spark.

Not that White Haru ever had much 'spark' but shit, if Kyou caught him stealing sad eyed glances at Yuki one more damn time.

Ayame was weird as hell but Kyou actually wished he was there to cut the awkward.

It was all those fucking pamphlet's fault. Kyou was convinced. Days of being drilled on what they could not talk about, all prime topics with the elephant (or Ox) in the room, left them dry on things they could. The topics they could not talk about grew like vines and choked out those they could.

The fucking Ox had looked so happy and off his goard when they brought him home. Barely an hour with Hatori later and he looked ready to cry or some shit while Yuki reverted to the point he forgot how to be a damn regular person.

Kyou fiddled with his beads so much during that meal its a wonder they didn't snap. It was a literal celebration in his soul when Hatori thanked Tohru for the meal and walked away, signaling the end of their torture. He had been seconds away from just saying fuck it and screaming at the top of his lungs, 'How did it feel to bash Akito's skull in?'

Which was banned in the pamphlet seven different ways.

He counted.

Should have counted the seconds till Yuki made some awkward excuse about an exam coming up and ran. He would have barely made it to two.

And there were the fucking sad cow eyes again.

Tohru looked ready to handle it. She was visibly psyching herself up. Ever since getting involved in their damn family she seemed on a one woman mission to deal with all their fucked up mental problems. It sucked but she took to it like she wrote it on a career choice paper at school.

Not this time, damnit.

"Oi, Haru."

Tohru froze as the Ox's eyes snapped up, waiting.

"Why you acting so fucking sad? You're out."

Tohru unfroze, gaping at him, "Kyou!"

He ignored her for once, focusing on his relative, "Cheer up. Your Rat Prince is a disaster and you know it. Give him time." Insulting Yuki in front of the Ox had been in the pamphlet four times. Very clear and very bold in so many ways. It was obviously important or something. Whatever, not like those doctors knew or understood how their family worked. If Hatori had been that worried he would have stuck around.

Tohru looked like she wanted to run too when the damn Cow jerked straight, all narrowed eyes and tight posture, "You are still an asshole."

He shrugged, "And you're still weird."

"Jerk."

"Dumbass Cow."

Haru looked to Tohru, "Does he have fleas?"

"Oi!"

Tohru looked seconds from a melt down. Her face was red, eyes snapping between them, until finally she exploded into movement. It's a wonder all the dishes didn't break with how fast she gathered them up and took off toward the kitchen with an overly loud and awkward, "I should get these washed!"

Like she had not been the one to cook.

Left alone, the two boys stared at each other. Kyou with one elbow on the table, chin on his knuckles. Haru with his hands curled in his lap, posture tight. Clearly he wasn't so medicated anymore. Kyou missed out on the fun, easy, drugged out of his mind aspect of this reunion day. Instead he got left to deal with awkward don't talk about sixty topics fall out with his new roomie.

Shit, they were sharing a room too. Fuck.

"One more crack about fleas and you're sleeping on the floor."

Haru eyed him, head tilting slowly, "We're sharing a bed?"

Kyou practically snarled, "Hell no, weirdo, you have a futon."

"Then why would I sleep on the floor?"

Waving his free hand loosely, the Cat rolled his eyes, "Talk too much shit and I'll hurl that futon out the window. Hatori insisted on hard wood floors. That crap will break your damn back."

Some of the old Haru was still in there for sure. The white haired boy gave a huge sigh and tilted his head, looking away at nothing, "You stayed a jerk. Not everything changed."

"Ehh?"

"Nothing." The Cow was such a damn mumbler. "They should have let me room with Yuki instead."

Kyou could not help himself, "Trust me, I tried, but Hatori did not want little Rat-Cow babies so soon after you got out." Yuki would have truly murdered him for that little quip if he heard it. Would have been the fight to end all fights. Tohru might have even swatted at him. They were not in earshot though.

Haru just looked mildly irritated as he huffed out, "Rude. I can't knock him up."

That...err...not where he thought it...

"You're still a damn pervert."

Haru looked unimpressed, "You started it."

Fuck, he had, hadn't he? Ah! Bad thoughts!

Kyou furiously ran his hands through his hair before popping up from the table, "Whatever. Let me show you where the bath is. You're probably fucking greasy from being strapped to a bed all the time." T

That would have definitely been banned by the damn pamphlet as well. Fucking book, hopefully everyone forgot about it soon and just acted normal or this was going to suck. Haru at least did not seem to mind as he got up, only a little shakey, and followed the Cat out of the room and into the hall.

"I haven't been strapped down for a few monthes."

Err..that was...good?

"Well, don't make me start it up again now."

He almost tripped when the Cow mumbled, "I don't want you," Was the emphasis really fucking necessary!? ", strapping me to anything, thanks."

Ahhhhhh, this was going to be so fucking weird.

X X X X X X X X X X

The feeling was there every day but sometimes, when things got really hard, or when she didn't know what to do, Tohru found herself really missing her Mom.

Mom would have known what to do. She had a pull, a way of smoothing over situations and people that Tohru could only hope to copy. She brought Uo-chan into their lives. She brought Kyou into their lives. Both of them came from lives that Tohru could never dream of living through but her Mom had this power to settle them both and help improve their situations. To make people feel comfortable in their own skin. A power that reflected her experience and kind heart.

She would have known ways to make today better.

Mom would not be awake so late in the night, brewing a cup of tea, stressed out and a little misty eyed, feeling like she somehow failed to support those she loved. Mom would have banished all the awkwardness and had them feeling like the family they were and not five awkward ducks sitting around a table.

The tea whistled quietly on low heat and Tohru rubbed her eyes.

Poor Hatsuharu...

He got out of the hospital and they were not very welcoming. He looked so happy in the car that Tohru thought everything would be okay. She didn't know him but she should have known. The nurse told her that he would be medicated for an hour or two at most. She knew that his sleepy, cute way in the car was medication. That he would return to normal and have to deal with a neenvironment. Seeing him practically cuddle into Yuki, all smiles, so happy and precious, it made her forget. They should have celebrated his release but instead they probably made him feel extremely unwelcome. Even after he settled into Kyou's room and quickly fell asleep, everyone was awkward and kept to themselves.

Yuki had not come out of his room all evening.

Yuki...

Tohru wiped her eye again as she poured a cup, leaves floating to the top. They, no, She had really failed him most of all. He was part of the illusion in the car but she should have seen past it like Mom would have. Literally as soon as they got home and Hatori took Haru away to his office, Yuki's smile went away. It had yet to come back. Her friend looked immediately like he wanted to have a breakdown but pulled it together like he always did. Thinking back she should have pulled him aside to talk before starting dinner. He looked so pained while they ate.

"Tohru...?"

She nearly dropped her tea at his voice. As is, some splashed on her night shirt as she spun around, "Yuki! You're up early!"

The boy looked tired, hair more mussed than he typically let people see, clothed in a loose fitted blue tee and fitted sweats. His sock covered feet shuffled across the tile as he took a cloth from a drawer and handed it over to her, "I think you have to sleep for it to be considered early."

Tohru stopped dabbing at her shirt, "You never slept?" It wasn't surprising when he shook his head, fixing himself a cup of tea a little weaker than her's, "Yuki, you need to sleep. You have your exam today!" It would not do for him to go to it exhausted! Her day was free, no work to get to, she could stay up and wake him up and...

"My exam is not until Wednesday."

Two days away.

Tohru held her tea with both hands, feeling the warmth, staring at his profile, "But at dinner you said..."

Yuki let out a quiet brush of air that ruffled his bangs, "I know. I just...Tohru, am I a coward?"

...huh, what?

"Yuki, of course not."

He turned to face her, lips blowing at his tea before speaking, "It's okay if everyone thinks so." Her heart ached at the downturn of his lips, those sharp eyes so dulled, "I was fine when they had him out of his mind on meds. It was easy, you know? Then he came back from Hatori's office and just..."

Tohru nodded quickly, "He looked so sad."

She must have gotten it right. Yuki affirmed it between sips of his tea, "Exactly. Sad and more awake. I don't even know what Hatori said to him. I wanted to ask, to be there for him, but I..." The laugh Yuki let out held none of his usual calm warmth, eyes downcast, "I just ran, Tohru. I owe him more than I could ever possibly repay and I just...ran away and buried my head in books for a test I lied about having."

"You do have the test though."

That did not seem to help, "In two days and I know all the material. Haru needed me now and I just...I'm selfish."

"Yuki..."

He seemed so closed off. Looking at her but not seeing her. This happened sometime - the pale haired boy went somewhere else. It was her job to drag him back, a self appointed job but none one the less. Tohru floundered for a moment, racking her brain, before she quietly, abruptly giggled.

Yuki's eyes snapped back to her, betrayed, "Tohru?"

She tried her best to contain it, a hand waving at him, "I'm sorry, so sorry, I am not laughing at you or your problems, I promise!" He did not look all that convinced so she continued, cup a toy in her hands, "It's just...I thought about how my mother used to talk about old friends. From when she was in the gang, you know?"

Yuki at least knew that if not where she was going with it.

Tohru pressed on, fingers dancing, "Well sometimes she talked about them doing 'real time', and I mean, I know she sheltered me from that. I never met any of them." She paused, it really was amazing how separate her mother kept the before and after, even when Uo-chan came into their lives. She continued, "But Mom once said that she had to be there for them, but she could not let it consume her, you know? That no matter how much she felt she owed them or her own guilt, having been the leader, she had her own life and people who relied on her." At this Tohru pointed at herself like Yuki somehow missed that, "The balance of giving what she could but not letting it ruin what she had."

Yuki made a face and Tohru quickly put down the cup and waved her hands, "Sorry! I know Mom's situation was really different. It's like a totally different thing so I mean..."

He was still pulling a bit of a sour face and Tohru felt her face heating, her nerves climbing, before Yuki slumped against the counter with a sigh, "As always, Ms. Kyoko's wisdom is sound." That calmed Tohru a bit even as he went on, "You're right though. It's a little different. She was a gang leader and I was just...a scared kid in a nice room."

Tohru wanted to speak but it seemed like took Yuki so much to keep going. She learned long before to never interrupt when he had that far away look.

"I know I did not directly cause everything that happened but...he did it for me. That's without question. He even admitted it in court. So I..." Yuki's cup was empty and worried, Tohru took it from his hands to place in the sink before he fully let it go. The boy did not even seem to notice, "I'm not responsible. I know that. But at the same time, I owe him my life? No one else did anything to make it stop, or even recognized it."

Tohru hesitated for only a moment before clutching Yuki's free hand, his other pushing at his eyes, shoving back tears. Yuki did not cry in front of others much, "I understand Ms. Kyoko's wisdom, I have to care for me, but Tohru he threw away everything for me. His family, his life, his freedom, his future, all of it tossed aside for me." The hand in her's was just on the edge of painfully tight, it would probably leave a bruise, but she bore it to clutch back as one of his tears slipped by. Sometimes it hurt to not be able to hug the Sohma men.

Yuki seemed at the end of his words, mouth opening but nothing coming out. He stood in the kitchen breathing heavy and holding things in as was his way.

She didn't know what to say but she had to try, even if she sounded stupid to her own ears, "If he threw everything away, Yuki, then we just need to give him everything new!" Another quiet sob but he uncovered his eyes, looking to her, glassy in the half light, "We can't replace his family but we can do our best! And he's free now, so we just have to show him the best time to make up everything he missed!" It felt childish to her ears. Like she was missing some greater point or idea. But it at least pulled a small smile to Yuki's lips as she spoke, "This is only the first day! We have all the time in the world to make him happier than he ever was before!"

It wasn't perfect, she knew that, but Yuki at least wasn't soft crying anymore, "That's a tall order, Tohru. He lost years. I don't know how we can possibly..."

She shook her head quickly, too sharply, her neck almost hurt from it, "Being hard just means it is worth it! Plus, I mean, we already know one thing that makes him happy..."

Yuki raised a brow until he tapped him.

"Umm...me?"

"Yes!" Oh thank God, he let her hand go. She could rub feeling back into it later. For now she clapped them together in front of her, "I don't really know him yet but Haru does not seem like the type to ask for much?" Yuki pulled a strange face but nodded at that quickly, full agreement, "Then let's just start small. Spend time with him! It must have been lonely so let's make sure he knows he is not alone anymore!"

His face looked pinched, "Just...spend time?"

Tohru nodded aggressively and Yuki sighed, one hand pushing through his bangs, "I...I suppose that would work?" He sounded uncertain before rallying himself, posture sharp, "No, it will work. I'll do that. It's better than hiding in my room cr- err, studying."

She was kind enough to let his slip go while pushing him back to bed.

Just as she was kind enough to not bring up their late night talk later on at breakfast. It was every bit as awkward as the dinner before, something that would likely linger for some time. Still, she would not soon forget the Ox Zodiac's brilliant smile when Yuki asked if he wanted to hang out that afternoon.

It was sheer luck she was quick enough to kindly, gently, accidentally step on Kyou's foot when he attempted to make a comment.

That smile was a start.

X X X X X X X X X X

It didn't matter how much Arisa ate. Her usual omelet platter didn't taste right. Didn't matter if Hana-chan said it was fine and kept cutting her Looks. The food didn't taste right and that meant something was up. It was the first sign of a shit storm to come wether it was illness, money issues, or another fucking Sohma disaster baring down the turn pipe to crack them all across the jaw.

Nothing tasted right for the past two days.

Tohru 'forgetting to mention' a confessed, convicted (if only attempted) murderer coming to live with her was disturbingly on-brand. Which really, who was that their sweet little space cadet trying to fool? She didn't tell them because she didn't want them to worry. Apparently she hadn't clued in that a space cadet being worried meant everyone else should be preparing for shit to go down and getting their apocalypse look together. Arisa always kept her's ready.

Now her omelet didn't taste right. If dinner was off, she was packing a bag and moving into that house for awhile. Tori's damn 'no visitors for a week' rule be damned. Hana-chan would talk some shit but she knew the girl would be right there with her, waves at the ready.

Sure, sure, she knew it wasn't her place (of anyone) to judge the guy. They had all heard the Prince's sad backstory that night. She still wasn't sure what prompted it but she keyed in cause it was important. This guy, Haroharo or whatever, another damn Sohma weirdo, had basically killed to save the Prince from his tower. Arisa could admit she had some respect for this guy she never met. It took some balls to stand up for someone you cared about that way. To be willing to Kill for them. To do Time for them. It was something she could vibe with. Someone came at Tohru or Hana-chan cross on the wrong day and shit, she would fight too. Maybe not bash their skull in on a table but hell, she would do some damage of her own.

So she didn't hate the guy. She even respected him. But still, this dude had gotten mad enough (cause the story was consistent he had a fucking temper) and bashed the Sohma family head straight into a multi-year coma. Not to mention Arisa knew some people who did time. Older girls who came back to the gang harder, tougher, colder, who has seen some real shit. Sure, it wasn't a fancy mental hospital like this dude, but it was the same thing, right? Time was Time. Shit, maybe the mental hospital part worried her a little more. Dude was supposed to be stable on release but not like anyone but Tori got to see him, right?

Another bite and she shoved the omelet away disgusted.

Hana-chan sighed, stealing a bite, "It tastes fine."

"Whatever. We still cool with this?"

The other girl in her black dress just glanced up, expression bland, "We promised Tohru."

"Tch." Arisa leaned back, arms crossed. It was true. They had promised Tohru to help however they could. Hell, she practically got a promise to not hover out of them. Still, it didn't sit right. The girl really lacked in survival instincts sometimes. Sitting back like this wasn't Arisa's style. Considering how much more blah than normal Hanajima was acting, she wasn't the only one.

Didn't matter how much she tried to empathize. Didn't matter how much respect she had for the guy. Didn't matter she could practically Hear Kyoko saying give people a shot to do better.

This was Tohru, damnit.

"I'm calling her."

Hana-chan tilted her head a fraction, "Hovering."

"It's either we call or I go over there."

The other girl gave a soft sigh, a whisper of annoyance, before waving a hand, "Go ahead then. Speaker."

It was only years of friendship that let Arisa pick out the annoyance as she smirked, "I knew I wasn't alone. You just as worried as I am."

Hana-chan sipped from her straw. She wouldn't grace that with a response. The girl did lean forward a fraction when Arisa dropped her phone on the table, a picture of Tohru displayed, speaker on.

When Tohru answered, she was quiet, "Uo-chan?"

Why was she being so quiet? Hana-chan definitely was leaning forward now, eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

"Oi, Tohru, how's it going?"

There was a pause and both girls leaned further forward, Arisa's elbows on the table, Hana nearly bowing, both eyeing the phone. Should have video called.

"It's going... umm, it's going!" That told them all of nothing. Arisa opened her mouth to push but the girl continued, "Dinner was a little awkward last night and breakfast too but I think it's getting better!"

Their waitress came back, took one look at them, and power walked away.

Hana-chan really was vibing with her on this, "So you have met Hatsuharu Sohma?"

Oh right, that was his name!

The blonde glanced up and mouthed, 'Subtle?'

Her partner in Tohru-protection shrugged, unrepentant.

Both of them could not help but smile as Tohru's excited voice, still quiet for some reason, came over the speaker, "Haru is really interesting! He's really, really quiet and kind of reminds me of Hatori? Kyou kept saying he was loud and kind of a jerk, but I don't see it? He does not talk much but he seems super sweet!" Arisa cut eyes at Hanajima but the other girl mouth 'Kyou said', and well they could agree on Carrot's skill with people.

Tohru was still speaking though, "I felt really bad for how drugged up he was yesterday but..." She paused again and the two leaned forward, nearly head butting each other. There was a sound like a door closing before she went on, voice a little higher, "It was so cute how excited he was to see Yuki! The whole ride he had this big smile and was holding on to him in the back seat!"

Hana-chan fell back into her seat, face revealing nothing, but Arisa felt her mouth drop, "Hold up, this guy got out and immediately Prince is cuddled up with him in the back seat?"

Tohru sounded so uncertain, "Yes...?"

Hana-chan was back, "Picture?"

Her friend was a genius, "For real Tohru, tell me you got a picture of it. I need to see this with my own eyes."

"...No?"

"Tohru!" Arisa fell back in her seat, long legs sprawled, "What's the point of seeing juicy things like that if you don't take a picture for us?"

Without speaking Hana-chan quickly nodded.

"I can't do that! It would be mean!" Neither of them felt bad about it but with a sigh, Arisa accepted she wasn't getting a picture. Info to save for next time they ran into the Prince, himself, without Tohru around, "Yuki is really struggling with how to handle everything. I feel so bad for him. It was just so sudden and I think he's really confused on how to feel about everything. He owes Haru so much, you know?"

Well crap, can't pick on him without being a bitch now.

Still, that wasn't why they called. Arisa leaned forward again and tapped the phone, "You're fine though right? No problems on your end?"

"Yes? I'm totally fine?"

The blonde sighed deeply, Hanajima staring at her in silent agreement. How did their girl end up so unaware sometimes? Seriously?

Her partner in this struggle agreed, leaning forward with a quiet huff, "Tohru, we want to know if he has been nice to you. We are worried."

'Seriously?', Arisa mouthed just to get a shrug back.

Tohru took a moment to respond, "I'm fine Uo-chan, Hana-chan, I promise! Hatsuharu has not really spoken to me. Not like he's mean, he just doesn't talk that much. No one really spoke at dinner or this morning." She paused and Arisa could practically see her tapping her chin, "Kyou said they talked a little last night but he was kind of annoyed about it? I'm not sure how anyone could fight with Haru though." Another pause before she rapidly spoke, words tripping, "Maybe that is just how the two of them get along, by fighting? I mean, that is how Yuki and Kyou show they care about each other, so maybe it is like that with him and Haru too? Kyou seems to be like that with most of the Sohma family after-all!"

That...was a lot that told them basically nothing.

Hana-Chan folded her hands on the table, drink pushed aside now, "So Haru is like Kyou?"

"Umm...no, not really?"

Arisa raised a brow, "Don't tell me, another one like the Prince?"

"Oh no, he's more forward than Yuki, I think."

"More forward?"

There was a drawn sound if Tohru 'hmm'ing to herself before, "If anyone, I think he is closer to Hatori? Without the medicine he seems like a very serious person. I think the only thing he said at breakfast was to ask me for more tea. But he also just seems really sad so maybe he is actually more like..."

She kept going, rambling off Sohma she had met that Haru could be like. Arisa and Hanajima looked to each other and smiled, well a ghost of one in Hana's case at least, before Arisa cut their friend off, "So we won't know what he's like at all until he's more settled in?" Tohru let in an very unconvincing agreement before Arisa continued, "So when do we get to meet this guy?"

"Uhh..."

"Tohru."

"Umm..."

Hana quietly muttered, "Tohru."

"I'm not sure! Hatori is keeping him here until he's settled and no one is allowed over! I promise as soon as Hatori says it is okay, I will invite the two of you over!"

Shit, she sounded stressed now. Not the goal.

Sighing, Arisa plucked up her phone, "Hey Tohru, it's fine. Like Hana said we're just worried, right? Just remember if you need us we're just a call away, yeah?"

"I will, I promise!"

Arisa smiled, "Thanks, that's all we need. Talk to you later."

She barely hang up before Hana had her phone out on hand, furiously typing away. Considering the girl did not text much it caught the blonde's eye, "What you doing over there?"

Hana-chan was unapologetic with her reply, "I'm not satisfied. Texting Momiji to see if he wants to meet later on."

"He's going to blab to Tohru, you know?"

The dark girl glanced up, eyes sharp, "She'll forgive me."

X X X X X X X X X X

They were hanging out. Simple. Easy. Kyou went out to visit Sensei for the day. Hatori vanished into his office as he was known to do. Tohru dropped them off some tea, the aroma of jasmine drifting through the room, before hurrying off. The exchanged looks at breakfast made it clear the three were doing their best to stay out of the way for the day.

It would have been really helpful if Yuki was less awkward.

For some reason he went up after breakfast, studied for awhile, then showered and got dressed like he was going out for the day. The comfort of routine to help manage things. To add some normalcy to his day. Which would have worked out if Haru were not sitting across from him in one of Kyou's thread-bare shirts, sweat pants, bare feet, and the same wild bedhead he showed up with earlier. The Ox didn't seem to care but Yuki could not stop fingering the leg of his pants, considering changing to match.

The feeling was not helped by the silence. He wasn't sure how long they sat there across from each other on the couches, coffee table separating them, alternating avoiding eye contact and staring at each other. It was as if they decided to take turns with it. One would catch the other and look away, affording time to stare, before the process repeated.

...why was this so hard?

Haru let out an annoyed sound and Yuki flinched. He was messing this up. It felt so easy when he asked at breakfast but now it was as bad as last night. No, they didn't have Tohru attempting go bridge the silence, it was so much worse. It should not be so hard. Haru used to come see him whenever he could. Yesterday was so easy when they picked him up. Haru literally told him, yet again, that he was in love with him. That should have mad it easier, not harder!

Another sounds from Haru and Yuki leaned forward, one arm folded over his chest.

"I'm sorry."

Haru glanced up, eyes sharp, "For?"

It was so painfully like the Ox. He wasn't helping with this at all. Yuki pushed a hand through his bangs with a slow breath, "I...I'm trying but I..."

"It's okay."

Yuki looked up, eyes widening, "How is it okay?"

Haru leaned back on the stylish low couch, one arm thrown over the back, head tilted. It was more a loose limbed sprawl than a sit. At least he wasn't staring Yuki down anymore, "Yuki, I know it's been years and I've clearly missed, well, everything, but I know you." One of those loose limbs came up and his free hand waved in the air, unconcerned, "This might sound strange but it would be weirder for me if you are not all awkward and shy?"

If it had been anyone else, Kyou for instance, Yuki would have thrown a punch This wasn't Kyou, Momiji, or Shigure though, it was Haru. It sucked, but all he could do was ignore the heat in his face and look down and away, "Did you actually go and get more blunt?"

It felt like another mistake when Haru shrugged, "Hospital did not require me to be very polite."

Yuki's fingers clutched harder into his arm, "I guess not. I wish we could have-"

"Don't, Yuki."

His head snapped up, "What?"

Haru let out an explosive sigh and sat up, hands dropping between his spread knees, head down, "Yuki, I'm only going to say this once, okay?" His eyes were too focused. It took actual effort for Yuki to hold his gaze and not flinch away as the Ox continued, "I don't want you to apologize to me anymore."

Yuki opened his mouth to argue but stopped, frowning, as Haru spoke a little over his normal monotone, "No, I do not want to hear it. Everyone else can give all the meaningless apologies they want, it doesn't matter, I don't care. Hearing you apologize just pisses me off, okay?"

That...but...what?

"Haru, if it weren't for me, none of that would have happened."

"Shut up." Yuki snapped up despite himself, look sharp, but Haru met him with just as much intensity, "Stop that shit, Yuki."

"Are you Dark?"

The white haired guy actually rolled his eyes, full on, and pointed ignored Yuki's annoyed face, "Hatori asked that too. That doesn't really happen anymore, Yuki. I was locked up in a mental hospital, remember?" As if he could ever forget that, honestly. "They spent a lot of time," He raised his hands, air quoting as he spoke, "addressing my fragmented personality issues." His voice took on a stuffy quality as he said it but Yuki had no idea who he was mocking with the tone.

Still... "So, you're just...Haru, now?"

The Ox sat there, blatently staring, so different from how he acted at meals now that it was just them. The intensity had Yuki shifting in his seat. He almost wanted to run away again. It nearly felt worth hating himself for another day.

"I've always just been Haru, Yuki."

"Oh..." He wasn't sure what to say.

"Yeah, guess the 'help' was a little useful."

"So you actually needed...?"

At that Haru did shrug, a smile on his face that wasn't exactly kind, though his words at least did not seem targeted at Yuki personally, "The whole Sohma family could probably use some treatment."

Yuki could not help himself, he laughed. It may have been airy but Haru's smile seemed to lose some of the edge, "You are probably right." He paused, a hand rubbing at the back of his head, fighting to keep the heat from his cheeks. It was Haru. If anyone deserved to know...

"Ayame actually insisted I go to therapy after everything."

Haru seemed a little shocked, though it was muted as most of his expressions, "Really? We have therapists in the Sohma family?"

Yuki shook his head, "Not a Sohma. One of the clients from his shop. I only went a few months."

"Do you think it helped?"

A simple question. A curiousity. This wasn't Hatori trying to guage his mental state, Ayame trying to smother him, or Kyou picking at him before Tohru yelled at him. This was Haru who went through years in an institution. Of anyone, he would not be passing judgement. It still didn't mean that Yuki could answer that while staring into those eyes, "It did. After getting out, I had some problems." It was okay, he could admit this, "Problems with food. Eating. I doubt it's surprising considering..."

The moment went a beat too long before Haru leaned closer, "Did they help you?"

Yuki nodded, tight fists on his knees, "She did. It took some time before I was able to eat a full meal.

He wasn't looking but Haru looking him over felt like a physical thing, "You are still really thin, are you healthy?"

Seriously? He glanced up, "I'm just built this way."

Both hands went up and Haru waved them in surrender. It hardly matched with the small smile on his face, "Don't get mad. I'm just worried. Last time I saw you before yesterday, well..." The smile slipped a bit, though he was clearly trying to hold it, "You looked rough."

Really? "Rough?"

Haru looked away finally, shoulders growing stiff, "I don't really want to remember that, Yuki."

It at on the edge of the Mouse's tongue that he had not wanted to live it either but he held it in, nodding, hands white knuckled, "That's okay. I don't like remembering that time either."

The uncomfortable silence came back.

It lingered.

Finally Haru let out a loud groan and ran a hand violently through his hair. Yuki almost hopped up to stop him before the Ox opened his mouth, "This isn't right, shit, you asked me to hang out and all I've done is make you uncomfortable."

The sudden jump has Yuki edging closer, "It's not all you."

He shook his head and stood, practically jumping to the other couch, dropping down by Yuki, "Okay, both of us, fine. I did not wait this long to see you for this."

The sudden close proximity was a surprise. It took a lot for Yuki to not flinch back - part of him was convinced the Ox would follow. Still, "Haru, I...do not understand, honestly." The Ox must have sensed something coming. He leaned an elbow on the couch back, whole curious body facing Yuki as the Mouse spoke, "I never asked you to...do any of that but..."

"Yuki, can we not do this today?"

"What?" He could not be serious.

He was, with a faint grin even, "I know all of that is important and we should talk about it." Something on Yuki's face must have shown his shock. It only grew as Haru leaned closer, bridging the gap between them. He was close. So close. The memory of them in the car sprang to his mind. Haru pressed up against him, sleepy and smiling, telling him those things. Medicated Haru had seemed so sweet. Awake, sober Haru was more intense.

"But can we just not, for today?"

Was he always this way or was it new?

"So...we just don't talk about it?"

The Ox nodded, "Yes, please."

Just ignore the staggering amount of history between them? Ignore everything that led to them sitting on the couch together? Not ask any of the questions that bothered Yuki since being pulled out of that room? The request was simple. Actually doing it took a lot. Yuki opened and closed his mouth several times, unsure, eyes locked on Haru's as the Ox just kept smiling at him. He looked hopeful. But...

Tohru's word came to mind, 'If he threw everything away, Yuki, then we give him everything new!'

He...could try.

"Okay."

The other boy's expression brightened, "Okay...?"

For Haru, he could. He said he would the night before.

Yuki nodded and reached out, snagging Haru's hand with his own. The Ox wasted no time in grasping back, his warm hand curling around the Mouse's. For Yuki, who was often cold, the other boy felt just on the edge of too warm. Even more so as Haru gave one gentle squeeze.

"We will not talk about it until you want to."

That smile was practically sunshine, "Thanks, Yuki."

Not another staring match. Yuki could not handle it. Instead he looked down to their joined hands. Haru's thumb brushed back and forth across his knuckles, it felt kind of nice.

"So...what should we do instead?"

Haru tilted his head, look thoughtful.

"We could make out?"

Yuki pulled at his hand but Haru just laughed and held on, "Okay, okay, none of that yet." He did not seem put out by Yuki's face, no way was the Mouse missing that 'yet' thrown in there, "How about we just watch movies then? I haven't had a chance to do that in awhile you know?"

Movies. He could do that. They could do that.

And if they spent the whole run of some dumb video game movie holding hands, Yuki could do that too. It even felt easy.

X X X X X X X X X X

" I apologize, Ms Kyoko, but please take care of him for now.'

It was all Kyoko Honda needed at the time.

A boy, barely more than a child, showed up at her doorstep in the night. A tragedy within his red eyes. Too young shoulders set with determination and accepted despair she recognized all too well, and nowhere to go. So lacking in options he had to knock on the door of a woman who was nearly a total stranger to try to beg for sanctuary. Of course, there was no possibility of her turning him away. That night he even slept in her bed, something he desperately tried to argue against, while she took the couch. He was as terrified of putting her out as he was of whatever lurked out there in the dead of night. She could never turn away these stray children. They seemed to sense the aging wildness in her and felt safe, knowing she understood, knowing someone had grown past it into the calm.

Tohru, as always, was a blessing. One Kyoko was still not sure how she deserved. Her sweet daughter took to caring for the sullen, quiet boy like a lost duckling. She fed him and talked to him. Made sure he felt comfortable. Never pushed for him to reveal what sent him running. Helped to make him feel at least a little safe without being overbearing.

Delicate tasks like that were best left to her daughter. Kyoko, who had seen far more in this life, would handle the rest. If she spent the first night of Kyou's stay on the couch, phone lighting the dark in one hand, kitchen knife hidden by the dark in the other, the kids did not need to know.

Kyou gave her the number but it took almost two days to reach his father. Caretaker? She wasn't sure. The orange haired boy called the man by name, called him Sensei, called him Dad once in tears. She wasn't sure how to address him when at last he finally answered his phone.

" Kazuma speaking."

"Your kid showed up to my door."

They had not talked long. This man, Kazuma Sohma, was apparently very busy. Enough to send his son(?) out into the dead of night with nowhere to go. He was cagey. He had secrets. Kyoko recognized the type and the way he spoke. Apparently Kyou wasn't safe at the compound now but if now wasn't safe; was he ever? Kids did not just go around developing chips like that on their shoulder for nothing. Their first phone call was short. The man apologized once, shortly, before trying to foist money off on her. Luckily the kids were still asleep when she took the call cause it kind of pissed her off.

" I'm not doing it for cash."

"Then may I ask why you're helping Kyou?"

"Cause when a lost kid cries you don't turn away."

The man revealed very little. He would come and get Kyou when it was safe. She would be compensated for her time and care even if she insisted on not needing it. Yeah, having another growing kid around to feed made things a little harder. Made her take a few extra shifts. This asshole over the phone didn't know that though. He was assuming and it grated her nerves. 'Kazuma' didn't get that coming home from a long day was okay when those two were in the kitchen, cooking a meal, Tohru laughing while the sullen boy looked quietly happy.

Some days it hit her hard and she considered not giving him back.

It took almost two weeks for her phone to ring right after dinner on a Tuesday. 'Kazuma' thanked her and said he would be able to come get Kyou in two days. The man revealed nothing while telling her. Just a bland he would be by to get Kyou.

" You're not getting this kid till we talk."

"Excuse me?"

" Tomorrow night, High Five, 7 o'clock."

She hung up after that without waiting for an answer.

The next night she slipped away from the kids with the patented 'meeting a coworker' excuse. They did not need to know what she was up to. Not when she came home and Kyou was helping Tohru with her homework and that faint smile on his face. The kid had not mentioned going to school since the incident. Considering what little she knew he was probably homeschooling by this Kazuma joker.

Kyoko got to the Hive Five bar a little before seven. It was a bit out of the way, two train jumps, but worth it. Far as she knew this guy had no idea exactly where she lived. Maybe it was her old style, this situation dragging up memories and traditions, but you didnt meet hostile folks by your home. Your terf with a public view. Somewhere no one could act out too hard without you winning. Return to form, even more as she tightened the belt on her stark red waist coat and slipped in. Hell, if she had not given her butterfly coat to Arisa she may have worn that. Fact was, she didn't like this guy.

Even less so when he showed up almost half past seven. She was about to leave. Guy had the nerve to not even rush. He walked in with his old stuffy sense of style, a damn briefcase at his side, and a pretty face just on the side of stern. Kyoko picked him out immediately. This guy literally screamed 'Sensei' with every move. Especially when he looked around the room, zeroed in on some old cougar type at the bar, and started heading toward her.

Oh right, he had no idea what she looked like.

"Hey, Kazuma!"

He looked over at her wave, surprised. It lifted by the time he joined her, expression slipping back toward blank, but not before Kyoko caught his shock. Damn, was this guy disappointed she wasn't a full on granny?

"You must be Honda, Kyoko?"

Did he really have to eye her drink like that?

"Yeah, that's me. And you're Sohma, Kazuma."

The long haired man nodded and slipped into the booth across from her.

High Five, as far as bars went, was on the up and up. Nicer place than Kyoko would have ever stepped foot in back in the day. A little ritzier than she felt comfortable with even now. Still enough the old family man did not look too slumming and she did not look too upward reaching. He just didn't have to know she picked it cause the owner's wife was an old friend. Though considering the man did not even glance at the menu stand for a drink; maybe he didn't plan to hang out.

"I'm sorry for being late. Yuki can't be alone yet."

Eh?

"Yuki?"

The man gave little away except a pinched mouth.

"Kyou did not say anything about him?"

Kyoko took her time thinking, thoughts hidden behind a sip of her drink. The kid did not say much of anything about his family. She knew this guy across from her was basically his dad and trained him in martial arts. She knew the victim that night, Akito, was a 'bad person'. She knew that no one seemed to be looking for the kid laying low on her house, not even his father figure in front of him it seemed. Other members of the family rarely got mentioned by name. Definitely not anyone named Yuki, she would have remembered someone with a fancy name like that.

She set the glass down, "Never. Is that his brother?"

The shocked face and quiet laugh were not helpful.

"What's so funny?"

Kazuma still chuckled, though he waved a hand for forgiveness, "I apologize. It wasn't really funny. Just, no one who met them both would ever think that." Not like she had ever met this Yuki kid, what was the joke? He continued, that wane smile lingering, "They get along about as well as brothers do at least. Those two are the best example of oil and water I can think of. Honestly, if Kyou knew Yuki was living with me now, he might not even want to come home."

Huh?

Her painted nail, purple, done by Kyou after Tohru talked him into helping with hers, tapped on the lip of her glass, "So why are you housing both of them, then?"

The man's ease only shook fraction. Kyoko was impressed with herself for even picking it up, "What do you know about what happened that night - outside the news reports?"

Damn, his smile looked really tired just now.

Kyoko sat back, eyes off as she thought the question over, "Not much honestly. Kyou's been real right lipped and I didn't want push a kid going through some things. He said it happened to the Head, someone named Akito. Kinda got the feeling they deserved it?" She paused, glancing back at the man, no great surprise his face was a statue of stone to rival Buddha. He wasn't giving anything away. "The news report said it was a vicious attack by a younger family that night. Honestly, we've kept our TV off. Kyou's on edge enough as is."

Damn, was he. It pissed her off thinking about it. Enough for her to lean forward, ready to fight if it came to it. Especially the man keeping up his stoney regard to his kid suffering. Kyoko could not trust a parent who looked like that, "I don't know what you guys did to that kid but he's scared to go outside. Freaks out every time someone knocks on our door. One of my kid's friends came over and I thought he was going to hide under the bed. So whatever it is, I'm guessing it was seriously bad news." No response. Not even fidgeting? Crap, even having the man argue would have made her feel better.

No way was the kid going back with this guy.

It took a moment. A too long pause in which she considered leaving entirely. Just take the kid and vanish. Finally though, Kazuma Sohma let out an enormous sigh, slumped just a tad, and held up a hand to get the attention of the waitress.

He copied her order - malt scotch on ice with a splash soda - and took his first sip without a flinch. Some respect, maybe, grew in her. Not enough to mean anything but enough to keep her in the booth.

Long enough for him to start talking anyway, "Most of the information about what happened is currently being investigated by the police. As a lot of it involved Yuki, whom I volunteered to watch over, I can only reveal so much." He must have sensed her about to argue as the man placed his drink down and sighed, too deep, world weary, "I know it may not satisfy you but I can't risk him being taken away because I said too much. I can only protect them while they are in my care." Damn, if that did not cut the thread on her tires. It grated, she felt her back teeth clench, but Kyoko nodded.

Kazuma looked thankful, "I can't go into details but the Sohma family is very close, no matter how large we get. Yuki, Kyou, and I for instance are all Sohma but so far removed only the name bonds us really. Anyone who marries in must take the name and all." Bizarre, a little old world tradition for taste, but Kyoko kept quiet and let the man get it out, "Some branches of the family are closer still and directly interact with the Head, in this case Akito, and live under her thumb."

Kyoko tilted her drink toward him, "Sounds real culty. Relevance?"

The long haired man smiled, it wasn't kind, "You're not far off. It's related because Kyou, Yuki, and the youth mentioned in the news are all part of those 'close families'. Akito very much controled," The man paused, shifting a bit, before soldiering on, ", controls their lives within the family. It is a lot to explain but to put it simply, Kyou was hated and Yuki was beloved."

Kyoko's teeth definitely grit, "So your family hates Kyou?"

This guy was shameless. He simply nodded like it was a fact of life, "The vast majority do. Some of us do not, we look around him and see a struggling child, but others detest him simply for being."

"That's sick."

"I agree." Surprisingly, despite his bland tone, Kyoko believed him, "Most of them choose to display this by ignoring his existence. A stain they can avert their eyes from. I've attempted to protect him from that but sometimes Akito would treat him as a public spectacle."

Some of Kyoko's drink spilled with how hard she jerked it, "And you allowed that?"

It set a fire in her gut. Just the idea of a kid being paraded around and made to suffer for sport. She remembered, flashes and tucked away memories, girls being pushed back and forth in a circle and beaten. Nothing more than a spectacle for everyone to point at cause they 'deserved it'. Remembering it these days was even harder now that Tohru was old enough to replace those poor girls in her mind.

"Ms. Honda, do you know Kyou's father is alive?"

Huh?

Kazuma took another soft sip before leveling her with a stare, "The man refers to his son as 'It'. Blames him for his wife's death. He shows up at my home drunk and screaming, trying to take Kyou from me every anniversary of her passing." Kyoko is sure her face is doing something, she doesn't know what, as the man runs a hand across his face, "He hates him but will not release his parental rights to me. I'm not direct family, so I could not take them in court. It was only Akito's blessing that allowed me to take Kyou from that man."

Well...fuck.

Kyoko closed her eyes, letting some of the steam slip away from her rage, "So the family head gives you the kid to protect from his father, but that means you can't go against the Head for treating the kid like dirt?"

He doesn't respond beyond a nod.

The silence is telling enough that she shoves it aside that hopeless situation - Kyou running from a father who hates him - aside for now, "So what about this Yuki kid? You said he's loved in the family?"

The man's stoicism cracks enough for a shot of misery to pour through the gap. Especially as he takes an over long gulp of his drink. They are going to need another round fast at this rate, "Correct. Yuki was basically...taken in by Akito quite some time ago."

He quit talking and it grated her nerves, "Is this Akito some old pervert?"

She wasn't sure if it was good or bad that Kazuma looked stunned for a moment, "Oh, no, not in the way you are thinking. She is only a few years older than them." Like hearing Akito was a woman would calm her ire. Kyoko had met some foul women. "She has also not shown any perversions of that nature...but it does not mean she could not be very cruel at times." He was struggling to talk about the issue. It was clear as the sun on a cloudless day. The Sohma clearly did not discuss the Head and her issues. They let it fester and rot in the shadows. Unbidden Kyoko thought back to her own family but quickly, ruthlessly, shoved those thoughts aside.

"So Akito abused this Yuki then?"

If anything she felt for how early this man was going to gray, "None of us were aware of it at the time but yes. You see, Yuki has..." He drifted off, eyes distant, another sip of his drinking. Kyoko waved for another round without asking as he gathered himself. He looked thankful to see it as he continued at last, "I apologize. I almost placed fault on him." She didn't understand but she motioned to keep talking. He did, "Even as a child, Yuki was always quiet, withdrawn a bit from the world. I'm sure now that his life was troubled but I had Kyou to look after. An excuse, but all that I can say for myself. I'm sure some of the closer family knew but no one intervened. We all thought Akito truly cared for Yuki and his well being."

Shit, this story was going to be Dark. Kyoko took a heavy gulp and relished the burn in her throat before, "It was bad wasn't it?"

Kazuma didn't deny it. He just kept talking, voice so settled like his words were not horror, "Worse than you can imagine. Even I don't know everything but the boy in my home can barely stomach solid food, can not go into his room with the door closed, and never speaks other than to apologize." The dark amber in his drink swirled as Kazuma considered it, "He does nothing wrong but apologizes." A stiff gulp, so heavy Kyoko is sure even she would have coughed, before an elbow dropped on the table to support the man's head, "Yesterday was the first time I heard him cry and he's been with me a week. One of my disciples made a comment about Hatsuharu and he just...it took almost an hour to calm him down."

Hatsuharu, that name was familiar, had Kyou said it? Kyoko moved her lips to ask but the man caught his slip first and sighed, "Hatsuharu is the 'unnamed youth' in the story. I should not have said his name."

Ah, the attacker in the story. The mysterious violent Sohma. Kyoko's hands held her drink tight, nails clacking the side. She wanted to know more. The story was awful, Kyou did not deserve it, she could not imagine this mysterious Yuki kid did either. Honestly it ranked at her that no one stopped this Akito character before a child had to do it. It was clear the man was not going to share more there at least.

Still, she at least had to ask, "I understand. Just one thing, were they close to that boy, Hatsuharu?"

Kazuma looked both thankful for her restraint and saddened by her question, "Haru was one of my students. I knew him quite well, a caring kid honestly. Kyou and him took lessons together from a young age." Kazuma leaned back and there, Kyoko finally saw it. At long last the man looked like a parent to all his students, "They were friends though they would deny it. Always challenging each other. Pushing each other's buttons. Haru had such a way of riling Kyou up over the smallest things. I had to break up so many fights over such stupid reasons."

Okay, maybe this man had some humanity after all to him. Kyoko smiled around the rim of her glass at his expression, "Careful Sensei, sounding like a respectable father over there. Going to ruin my opinion of you."

Ah man, this guy really was Kyou's father figure. The same burn of embarrassment high in their cheek bones, the same cough into his hand, even the forcible way of his features smoothing out.

But still...

"So what about this Yuki kid and Haru?"

She immediately knew this one was harder. A simple question but the man drew himself up, readying, "That relationship is much more complex. Haru hated Yuki when they were young. I'm not sure why." Something in how he said it ticked her off. It did not feel honest. She had basically agreed not to pry though as he went on, "At some point it changed. Yuki didn't but Haru did. Suddenly he went from hating Yuki to caring for him. Whatever the boy wanted, Haru would do for him." That wane smile, "Several of Kyou and Haru's worst fights were cause of Kyou saying mean things about Yuki."

Even knowing the story did not end well, Kyoko could not help but smile. A boy crushing on a boy wasn't strange to her at all. One of her close friends was that way. Sure the shared last name was a little odd but with how big the Sohma family sounded, it was probably normal.

Cute story but, "So he was in love with Yuki?"

The man looked disgusted just long enough for Kyoko to start judging before redeeming himself with his words, "God, it never ended. I'm all for young love but give a bitter old man a break." He took a drink, laughing softly, and Kyoko could not help but join him, "It was just constant. He had to get stronger for Yuki. He had to study harder for Yuki. You have a daughter, right?" Kyoko nodded, head tilted as she listened to him go, "Then you've probably never experienced a boy running up to you in the dojo bathes, flexing, and asking if his crush will 'appreciate this'."

The man's face looked so put out that Kyoko could not help herself. The laugh slipped out, an unseemly snort tagging along for the ride, and either the memory or that had the man laughing along.

When Kyoko finally did recover, she slapped the table, "No, never, I could not handle it. My Tohru is not there yet. My girl is sweet but the bloom for romance is coming real slow." She took a drink and leaned forward, conspiratorial, only a little surprised when the man joined her, "Honestly, I think her and Kyou could head that way given time. Your boy follows her around like a duckling."

Kazuma looked shocked, mouth comical, before he smirked, "That foul mouth kid? Eh, she could do better."

They laughed again as each sat back. Who knew if it was all the honesty and revelations or the new round of drinks. There was a third glass in front of her and that was already more than Kyoko had seen in quite some time. Kazuma did not seem all that much better off. The man kept tugging at his hairtie like he wanted to set it free and relax.

Still though, Kyoko could not leave a story half told, "So Haru was madly in love, I take it Yuki was oblivious?"

The man nodded with a low hum, "I always assumed he was a little self absorbed but I think the kid is just incredibly shy. He just got mad when Haru would loudly declare he loved him in front of anyone." The smile looked like it was valiantly clinging as his tone shifted from humor, "I think Akito hated it. She always seemed so annoyed when he did it around her. No one ever took the boy seriously though so I guess she ignored it."

Kyoko went to comment, ask a question, yell, she wasn't sure what her intention was. Just some form of response to that crap. Kazuma must have picked up on it as he gave a colossal sigh and soldiered on, voice a little faster, like he wanted it over, "None of us took him seriously. Not even when Akito took in Yuki. Soon after Haru began changing. He always had a temper but it was much worse. He stayed in trouble with the family; dressing wild, acting out, being a little crazy honestly." Another large gulp. The bartender would definitely be calling cabs, "He never came to any of us. Guess he decided we were all useless. It wasn't till after everything I found out he was sneaking in Akito's place to see Yuki."

That... it hurt to hear this story about these kids.

"And then...?"

Kazuma finished his drink, definitely a cab, "You saw the news."

This Haru kid snapped and beat the family head to death.

"Did she die?"

His face never changed, "No one has said so to me."

It took a lot for Kyoko to not say 'that's a shame'. It wasn't kind of her. That was the old Kyoko, the Crimson Butterfly, that made comments like that. The rough gang leader before a kind husband and a sweet daughter. She was different now. She had to be. And so with a deep inhale and a loud exhale that probably reeked of whiskey, Kyoko ran a hand across her chin.

"Your family is messed up."

The man finally pulled his tie with a smile, "You're not wrong."

Their shared smile was not exactly comfortable.

Kyoko reached into her jacket and tugged out her phone. It was later than she thought. Tohru was probably already worrying. The wait for a cab this way would probably take awhile. Pushing aside her drink, Kyoko went to stand, "I need to be getting home. Thanks for the talk, Kazuma. I'll be in..."

The man slapped down a large bill.

Hell no, "You're not paying for my drinks."

He had the gall to smile, "I am."

"No."

Unapologetic ass, "Yes. Do you need a ride?"

The back of her teeth grit together as Kyoko glared down at the man, hands in the pocket of her coat, his toying with his long hair. This whole night felt a little different than she expected but some facts remained just that, hard facts, "No thanks. You're not going to know where I live till I talk to Kyou." Not just that. She leaned forward, a finger in his face, threatening, even if he just slightly crossed his eyes look at it, "Plus I wanna meet this Yuki kid now. If he doesn't look aces, I'll take him too."

She expected the man to argue, maybe curse.

Not to smile softly and go, "I'll call you and set it up then."

X X X X X X X X X X

This was not where she would want him to be.

She would want him out there, handling the crisis, using a skill set only they possessed to being order to chaos. Even through complicated feelings that bordered hate far too often - they understood each other. She would not want him in that uncomfortable straight backed chair at three in the morning. She would not want him waiting for the latest update from the doctors. She would not want him nursing a cup of coffee so old, so cold that the cream looked separate. She would not want him lounging around in Hatori's old coat, a size too small, covering the blood on his ratty yukata.

It was somewhere near midnight and Akito might still die.

She would not want Shigure there.

Yet he was. Silent, a chill in his bones without the shivers of it. Unsure how he got there in the first place. Had he gotten in the ambulance with her? Had Hatori driven him? It was like a sink hole opened in his mind and swallowed those memories whole.

There was the before; a meeting at the main estate to discuss plans for the new season. Traded barbs with Akito while Hatori begrudged them his stolen time. A pot of tea none of them really drank. The first crisp air of autumn chilling them through the doorway Akito refused to close. Tiny crackers that she mentioned Yuki loved before eating all of them. That wrinkle Hatori didnt know about right by his bad eye at the name. A few traded words with Momiji and Him . The second round of His begging after the rabbit went away. Please Shigure, please, no, not yet, beg a third time, he didn't say but he intended. Being on the phone with his editor when someone screamed.

There was no after. There never would be.

Maybe not ever again.

The tired cup of coffee exploded in his fist. There wasn't any heat left for it to hurt. It was just paper. Dull blue paper cups in a dull hospital hallway. They did not even have cutesy crap on the wall in this wing. Shigure thought that was mandatory? Didn't patients need to feel uplifted and cared for? Did that not matter in a trauma wing? Don't have to decorate because they come in half dead and some of them never leave anyway??

It takes him distressing long to feel a cloth going over his hand. A nurse? No, they left him alone after earlier. He felt bad about it. That was a lie, he didn't feel bad at all. Fuck them for asking if he was okay. Wasn't it obvious?

"Fuck off."

A soft tut-tut, "I love you too, puppy."

Ayame then, it didn't matter why he was here.

Something else in that voice and Shigure snapped, "Don't do the delicate care thing. That's not you and you're not very good at acting. Be normal or go away."

A moment, a silence, before a chuckle a little too loud for a hospital, "Very well then, Gure, I will remain ever my charming self, lighting up the darkness."

Ironic how a self-centered brat made him feel better. At least enough to move, even if only to run both hands through his already finger mussed wild hair, "Why are you here? I figured you would run straight to Hatori and climb up his ass."

Shigure watched from the corner of his eye as Ayame waved a finger, tut-tut'ing, "First off, that is crude. You know full well I would rather men climb up mine."

Hardly the point at all, ever, in any world, but, "Fair."

The Snake let out an explosively loud sigh that earned a dirty look from the nurse down the way, "And I suppose it doesn't matter now but he insisted I was in the way." He sounded so put out, "Apparently I lack discretion or some such nonsense. So instead of tidying up the biggest Sohma scandal since, well, a curse , I get to babysit God's puppy." It sounded every bit as put upon, over the top, and cutting as Shigure wanted.

Next to Akito, Ayame was probably his favorite.

"What is Hatori-"

"No." Ayame cut him off sharp, "Even if I knew what Tori was doing, hopefully answering my texts, I would not tell you." Shigure must have looked confused or something even though he wasn't. Ayame patted his arm, "Puppies just worry about their owners and let the big bad dragon handle the cops and media." Spoken like that was a normal statement literally anywhere in the world. Shigure didn't respond in words. He bared his teeth only to be bopped on the nose with two fingers. It's a wonder Ayame refrained from a 'Down Boy' that may have gotten them kicked out, family or no.

A long silence stretched between them after that. Maybe five minutes, maybe ten, Shigure could not keep track. There wasn't a clock in the hallway and his phone was lost somewhere probably forever. He wasn't too worried about it.

Ayame spent the time buried in his, one bright red nail flying across the screen. He apparently had a lot of people up and available to talk at whatever hour of the night it was. Shigure wasn't sure if the Snake was running a social media empire or coordinating literally everyone in their family simultaneously.

Really though he could have been fashion blogging for all Shigure knew.

Shouldn't he have another update by now?

Ayame's bored voice popped their silent bubble, "Where did Kureno go? Tori said he rode with her."

Kureno did...?

"He was not here when I got here."

"That's surprising." But not exciting by the tone.

Shigure thought they would lapse into another long silence. He almost jumped when Ayame bumped their arms with his free one, "So how do you think Ox boy did it? I can barely imagine something like that."

If Shigure bit the inside of his lip to keep quiet, Ayame would never know. The Snake didn't know the 'loyal puppy' had a spare thought like that once or twice. Just like he did not need to know that Shigure spent far too long this night wondering exactly that. It was impossible for Zodiac to raise a hand to the God. He did not want to think about it but his curiousity could hardly let it rest. How had he managed to beat their God so badly?

He didn't answer.

Ayame apparently did need him to, "Maybe the power of Love."

Another few taps, more texts sent to mysterious contacts in the Snake's life. The longer the tapping went on the more Shigure nursed a desire to grab that phone and smash it against the wall beside them. It was hard to tell if it was the sound passing him off or the fact that people were still talking. Akito might die. It felt like the world should be standing still at this moment. Yet here beside him was definitive, vibrant proof that the world kept right on spinning unbothered.

Only he sat frozen in this too chilly hallsay. Ayame could leave any time, his friend chose to be here with him.

So he would not smash his phone.

" He asked me to get Yuki away from Akito."

Ayame acted like he did not even hear him.

"I said no, again, he asked before. I wanted him to beg."

Gold eyes peered his way before darting back, "So this is your fault."

Shigure's head snapped up, "How can you say that?"

It was easy to forget that Ayame could be just like the rest of them. That he also grew up in the Sohma clan upper echelons. His usual personality did not mean the Snake could not play their game. When he spoke it came out bland, barely more interested than the weather, "Gure, Tori and I warned you over and over that your games would end badly one day."

The white haired man dropped the phone in his lap and took hold of his hair, rebraiding it, "Akito too, for that matter. Tori would not tell me about Yuki. He knew, of course, our good doctor always does. I suppose he's been trying to protect me again." Ayame covered his hollow laugh with a wrist, "Like I have any footing to be angry. I nearly forgot my brother until I saw him tonight."

...he saw Yuki?

Interesting, "How was that?"

Ayame tugged are his hair a little tight, "I only saw a glimpse. He had those dreadful bags attached to him."

It took Shigure a moment to realize he meant IV bags. That seemed a little excessive. There's no way it could have been that bad. Hatori would not have been able to stay silent if the Rat were that bad off on in Akito's care.

"I guess that is normal procedure for-"

Ayame scoffed, "Don't be daft, Gure. My brother looked like a corpse on legs." He tossed the fresh braided hair back over his shoulder, eyes straight ahead, "I may not be the best big brother in the world but that bitch was going to kill him, Gure."

Shigure collapsed in his seat, legs sprawled unseemongly for his clothes, head back against the rest. He was so tired. Letting Ayame sit with him may have been a mistake after-all. Just another reminder that no one else had come. Another sign that maybe everyone was not as bothered by this as he was.

"So you're happy He almost killed Akito?"

The Snake finally looked at him, his eyes thin and jaw set in a way that lived up to his Zodiac, "Don't be stupid, Gure. Its not cute on you. You know it is impossible for any of us to be happy about this. I'm multi-faceted; I can be sad that Akito might die, but happy she did not murder my brother." The fabulous man had actually leaned away so as to face Shigure fully, one leg thrown over the other, "I will stay here until you are okay and then I am leaving this hospital and never coming back."

Shigure groaned, "You can leave whenever you want, love."

What else could he say to all of that? Really? Not like he knew exactly what was going on with the Rat. Last time he laid eyes on the kid was...last New Years? When he danced at the banquet? The boy had seemed the same as always then - reserved and boring. It was a little beyond him to act like he was overly worried about it now. Not like they needed him. Ayame had clearly chosen a side in this matter, the Snake was not even hiding it. Hatori's continued absence meant he had chosen as well. Considering the the drama of Kana and now Yuki, it hardly surprised Shigure at all.

It was beyond them to wish harm on their God.

...except Hatsuharu, he found a way.

"I hate him, Ayame."

The Snake gave him a curious glare, "Whom are you referring? My brother or Hatsuharu?"

Shigure felt his lips curl back, "Don't say his name."

Maybe he deserved that disgusted snort. Maybe he didn't. Shigure did not feel like reflecting too much on himself at the moment. Especially not when be already knew it was at least partially his fault how the night went. He remained silent when Ayame told him to stop being a child. He pointedly did not squeeze back when his oldest friend held his hand. He did not say goodbye when morning came, sunlight shimmering behind the heavy curtain down from them, and Ayame finally took his leave.

He did not want to talk anymore.

He wanted someone to talk to him and say she was going to live.

It took hours yet.

X X X X X X X X X X

The Cat was going to come back in two days.

Then he didn't.

The Cat was coming back this weekend.

Then he didn't.

The Cat would be here next week.

Then he wasn't.

The moral, as Yuki had accepted it, the Cat was not coming back. Which was good. The Cat was too loud. Always screaming and wanting to fight. His very being felt off; like a storm surging too close. Without the Cat around, Sensei's house was quiet. The man did not make much noise and his assistant was always absent.

Yuki was fairly certain that was intentional. It was especially telling with the man never ate with them. He was never there to watch Yuki struggle with their take out of the day. Sensei was apparently a hopeless cook and Yuki never had occasion to learn. The man would bring home rice, pastas, and strange far too spicy soups. Most of the time it all ended up in the toilet not far into their meal or soon after. Sensei never complained about it. His assistant never came. The overly hot food kept coming.

So it was a surprise when Sensei called he was home and Yuki came out to find the man was not alone. A woman was with him, pretty despite her hair being a lighter shade of the Cat's. She was dressed a little casual; black jeans and white blouse a hard contrast beside Sensei's yukata. If Yuki did not know the Cat's mother died years ago, he would have thought Sensei brought her home.

The woman was staring at him but clearly trying not to - he hated it. Probably the trauma therapist he heard would be assigned to him. He had assumed it would surely be a Sohma. Great, someone he could not tell anything at all was supposed to help him.

Sensei looked more determined than anything, face resolute, a man on a mission.

This was weird.

"Yuki, this is Honda, Kyoko, a friend. She will be joining us tonight, okay?"

A 'friend'? Not a therapist? Sensei was an honest man, he would have said so if she were. Was this his girlfriend then? The man had never mentioned her before. Had they been together long? Sharply Yuki realized how he looked. He had not showered in a few days. The shirt and sweats were too big, probably the Cat's as much as he hated to think about it, and his hair surely looked insane. Maybe that is why she was trying not to stare. The man brings his girlfriend home and this feral creature -

"Hey."

Yuki snapped back with a jolt at her voice.

"Stop freaking out. You're fine, kid."

She didn't sound angry, disgusted, or horrified by him. Her voice was calm. Her smile was light and airy. A hand hovered out in the air like she wanted to pat his shoulder but stopped at the last second. It withdrew slowly as he stared toward it wide eyed.

Her smile did not falter at all, "I'm no one special. If you're worried about it, go take a shower, we can wait. If you're comfortable like you are, we're okay with that too. It's whatever you want."

She...she...what?

Sensei looked just as confused when Yuki looked to him. The stern man had to visibly rally himself together before agreeing, "You heard her, kid. You know I'm fine with whatever makes you comfortable."

And it was true. The man really was. He never complained. Scrunched his nose on an occasion or two, yes, maybe once opened a window, but he never vocally complained. Maybe this really was his girlfriend - they kind of matched each other well. That same calm but serious energy.

Yuki let his head drop, "Sorry."

Neither said a thing when he took off down the hall to the shower nearly at a run. It was embarrassing. The man fakes him in and this is how he repays him, making him look like a poor caretaker in front of his girlfriend. Ashamed, Yuki took his time; washed his hair, conditioned it, cleaned rigorously enough to pinken his already pale skin. Afterward he stood in the mirror and tried to fix himself into something as presentable as Sensei and the Cat's frankly limited supply of anything allowed. It almost physically hurt to climb into yet another of the Cat's too big outfits and belt it tight on his waist. Not until he stood in the mirror examining himself did Yuki remember.

...the two were waiting on him to eat.

...nearly an hour ago.

With mounting horror he threw open the door and rushed down the hall. They probably already ate. Sensei might be disappointed in him. Maybe the woman had already left. (Yuki was not totally opposed to that even if seemed nice.) Any way it went he had taken far too long.

Yet when he entered the room, both adults were sat at the table, their aged tea pot between, having a quiet chat. Across from each other instead of side by side. Not leaned close together. Honda was even sitting back on her palms away from the table, not very mindful of appearances.

She was the one who saw him first, "Feel better, kid?"

Honestly? No. He didn't care personally about how he looked. It mattered how it reflected on Sensei. The important thing was his this stranger, who may or may not be important, saw him. She was still smiling so it must be an improvement right? Granted she was smiling before...

He nodded.

"Great, want to join us?"

Not really? Did he have to? Yuki shot a look toward Sensei but the man had his eyed closed, tea cup to his lips, staying uninvolved. Removing himself from the situation and letting Ms. Honda take lead. The man had brought her but was clearly letting this stranger have the run of his home. Surely she would be a regular visitor if that was the case?

Which meant Yuki sat at the end of the table.

She seemed pleased, "Thanks, kid."

Why did she keep calling him that?

The woman, Kyoko, gave him another mega watt smile before turning to reach into her small purse, revealing a tiny red notebook and a pen, "Mind if I ask you some questions?"

Was she a girlfriend or a case worker? Yuki shot a glance at Sensei but the man honestly seemed just as confused. He stared at Honda wide eyed and well, that didn't help Yuki's nerves. Was the option to not sit down still available? His body tensed up like a spring as the woman flipped open a page and glanced up at him.

...then he was confused when she laughed.

"Guys, calm down. It's nothing bad, I promise. Kazuma, we talked about this." Her voice was chastising but in good humor as she flicked the pen back and forth.

Sensei...looked embarrassed, "I did not realize it would be an interview though."

Another laugh, this one fuller, "It won't be!"

It absolutely was.

Apparently the woman had discovered that Sensei's cooking could kill even the dead. That they lived on take-out from various places in the area. Yuki quickly learned that Ms. Honda had a daughter who was mortified at how expensive and unhealthy that must be. He also rather quickly figured out the Cat was staying with Honda. Maybe she was one of the Cat's relatives? Would have explained the hair. Either way apparently her daughter had announced she would be sending them meals which meant she needed to know what they liked. This 'adorable Tohru' had also prepared a full on questionaire.

Which Ms. Honda quickly said he could just nod or shake his head.

Yuki furiously blushed at that; it meant she knew.

Still, the questions were not bad. Could he use a microwave? Could he reheat soup on a stove? Yes, who couldn't - oh, apparently Sensei. Did he like onions? Yes. Carrots? He kind of shrugged and she took it as an answer. Did he like spicy foods? Sensei seemed shocked when Yuki quickly shook his head no. The questions were light until they suddenly weren't. Did anything heavier than soup make him sick? A slow nod. Was it worse with meat? Nod. Creamy brothes? No. Then suddenly it was back to does he like cake. Shrug.

"Is there any...ah, Tohru, I said Yes or No."

The woman was grumbling but she did not look truly annoyed. She hesitated for a moment before sliding the notebook over to him along with the pen, "Sorry, would you mind writing what flavors you like?"

...ice cream? Really?

He wrote out strawberry and went to the next question about candy. Were these people planning to start buying all the groceries for them? Surely Sensei could not be okay with his girlfriend providing for two homes-

"What's the matter?"

Yuki peeked up through his bangs at her.

"You looked worried. If a question bothers you, just skip it."

That...wasn't it, though. How was asking his favorite candy going to bother him? How to ask this. He could already feel his face heating up against his will. Sensei and Ms. Honda were both looking at him clearly curious. In the end he flipped to a blank page with a huff - not missing her smirk at his cheek - and wrote his question down. Both adults had to lean forward to read it.

I can't pay for you to feed me.

He was confused when Sensei let out a pained groan and Honda actually laughed. Especially when she leaned forward and poked the man's forearm hard, "Told you he would ask about it. Kids their age are sensitive to this kind of thing. Kyou is driving Tohru crazy racing her for chores to pay us back in his own way."

Sensei actually laughed and Yuki could not help but stare, he never heard that sound before, "Yuki, you do not have to worry. I will be covering any expenses here." So, he was still Sensei's charity case, okay, that was fine, he guessed. The man went on, "And if Kyoko here did not like to argue, I would cover her's too while Kyou lives there."

"Over my dead body.", came her frank reply.

Sensei waved his hand at her, exasperated.

Honda turned back to him, "Seriously though, put whatever you like. My daughter is one of those people who likes to cook and has her own personal sous chef at the moment." Wait, that Cat would be helping to cook his food? Something must have shown on his face cause she smirked, "I know, Kazuma said you two don't get along but I promise, Tohru won't allow anything like that to happen."

Don't get along? Really, Sensei? Understatement.

The two adults chatted while Yuki finished up the surprisingly thought out questionnaire. If nothing else the girl's daughter was incredibly detailed. She even wanted to know about his allergies. It seemed like a lot of work for someone who threw up most of the things they ate. He only partially paid attention to the adult's conversation. Apparently Kyou wanted to go to school with this Tohru in the future? And he kept arguing all the time with someone named Uo-chan? Apparently the latest was her deciding to stay over and kicking him off 'his couch' to sleep on the floor. Honda nearly had to break them up.

Sensei spent too much time apologizing for that Cat.

Annoyed as he was by that story, Yuki nearly missed it. He glanced down, wrote that he liked Natto, and nearly flipped the page before something caught his eye. In the bottom margin, by the spiral of the paper, someone had drawn a messy sketch that might of in another life wanted to be an Ox. Yuki's breath froze as he jerked the book closer to read the loopy writing.

I called Hatori. He promised to make sure he is okay. I trust him. I still hate you.

Yuki's breath caught in his chest and the book was wretched out of his hands by Sensei. The man cursed shortly after. Honda rethought her earlier decision to not touch him. She had a hand on his shoulder, just the right side of firm to be grounding as Yuki clutched his stomach.

The Cat had checked on Haru for him.

Hatori was so competent, he could do it.

Haru would be okay.

Sh e was gone.

Distantly he heard Sensei telling Honda what happened. Both of them seemed annoyed - at the Cat, not at him. Distantly Yuki noted Kyoko asking, "Why the weird drawing?" and Sensei clearly stumbling for an answer. The man was such a terrible liar.

And Honda's hand, while she spoke to Sensei, had migrated from his shoulder to his cheek. It seemed automatic for her once the first tears streamed down his cheek. There had only been one other person in Yuki's life who sensed he took comfort from physical contact. Only one other person who saw past his act. And every day he had to face that Haru was gone because of him and could not do it.

Kazuma yelled out.

Honda seemed understandably shocked.

Both were too slow to stop him crashing into her arms or the explosion of curse smoke.

X X X X X X X X X X

A week of decreasingly awkward meals. People actually talked now even if he could tell it was stilted and sometimes forced. Four times they had hung out alone. Which was great, really. Truly treasured memories there. That day he had even been allowed to rest his head against Yuki's thigh while they 'caught him up on pop culture' by basically picking Netflix movies at random. It was wonderful. Yuki smelled like peaches and Haru was as surprised by that as the fact he remembered what fresh peaches smelled like.

There was just one problem; they could not talk.

Oh, they tried. Many attempts. Stops and starts with a little give and take. The first time he asked that they keep it light and not dive into their seriously fucked up history. Yuki had agreed to that request. That should have made things simple. Instead it felt like they were dancing around topics while they hung out and he kept tripping on land mines.

Apparently asking Yuki if he was hungry or implying he needed food was forbidden. Calling him beautiful made him turn super red and get annoyed. Talking about any member of their family was a fifty-fifty of getting a response or making him sad. Could not call Tohru plain looking or Yuki would storm off and not talk to him for a few hours - that was not a mistake he would be making again because that day was shit.

Point was, this was hard, he wanted it to be better.

So it made perfect sense to get off his futon, click on the desk light, and rip Kyou's pillow from under his head. So what if the Cat woke up snarling and hissing, Haru had questions.

"Seriously, what the fuck Haru?"

"Kyou, I need your help."

Dumb cat. Why else wake someone at...2AM?

Kyou at least sat up and rubbed his eyes, pissed or not, "What could you need help with at this hour? Did you try to murder someone else?"

Really? "You're not supposed to say that."

"Fuck you, it's two in the morning." The orange haired guy said that but he still looked sheepish, a tightness to him, as he further woke up and calmed down, "Look, sorry, not cool of me, but I repeat: seriously Haru, the fuck? What could you possibly need help with at this time?"

Haru dropped down on the bed by Kyou, arms stretched out behind him, "I keep fucking up with Yuki and I don't want him to hate me."

The Cat's face could turn red so fast, "You did not wake me up for this. You are fucking joking."

Err, no? "Kyou, come on, I really need help."

"No, go away." The Cat tried to grab for his pillow only for Haru to toss it across the room, "You are really going to make me do this? Seriously?"

Was it not obvious, "Yes."

That screech was impressively subvocal.

Haru just ignored it, "Kyou, I was gone for years, in a mental hospital ." He waved at himself and pointedly ignored Kyou telling him to put on a shirt or get off his bed, "I can't act like before because things are obviously different now for the better, Yuki's not being tortured for one, but I don't know how they are different exactly ." The Ox let out an annoyed sound while scratching the back of his head, "Every time we talk it's like I'm hurting him or some shit, you know?"

Kyou, bleary, angry eyed Kyou, glared at him from where the Cat leaned up on his headboard, "No, you two were always weird to me."

Haru eyed him, "Homophobic?"

He caught and handed back the Cat's other pillow when it came flying. Who needed four pillows to sleep? Seemed excessive. Kitty really did like to lounge around.

"I'm not fucking homophobic you idiot. If I was, Ayame would make me cry." Which, okay, true, valid arguement there. Not homophobic then. Haru nodded his agreement and the Cat sullenly went on, "It's just, you go around saying you love him, always wanted to please him, would kill for-"

Haru groaned, "Did you just trash the pamphlet or can you not read?"

Wow, was it safe for a person to turn that dark of a red?

Kyou sputtered for a moment before crossing his arms and glaring, "That's part of the problem you know? All this shit is weird." After a moment of him not explaining, Haru had to cock a brow and wave his hand for one. Kyou sounded like he might have been thinking, "Stupid Cow, we literally got a short book on what we can and can not say to you. That's a lot, dumbass. Plus none of us can tell if you are White or Black Haru now."

A heavy groan and the white haired teen fell back, "I told you, that doesn't happen anymore."

Kyou only kicked at him once, improvement, "And that's weird, dumbass. How do you not get it?"

"I...don't know?"

Kyou let out another low hiss and rubbed at red eyes hard with his palms, "Fucking...Haru, your weird ass was always one way or the other. You were either super chill and oblivious or you were angry and intense as fuck. There wasn't a middle ground and we got that."

Haru rolled on his side, elbow keeping his head up, "You did?"

The redness was still high in the carrot boy's cheeks, "Well err, maybe not everyone. I did cause I was around you all the time. Momiji too, I'm sure, and..." Kyou swung another pillow out of nowhere and Haru knocked it away with his free arm, "I hate you for this."

That was fine, "Keep talking, kitty."

"Fuck you."

"Tohru will be sad you're trying to cheat."

Another inhuman sounding screech and suddenly Haru had a finger in his face. He went a little cross eyed looking at it and the hour-appropriate yelling beyond, "See, this is what I fucking mean! There's no difference anymore. You walk around with that bland ass face all normal and then boom, weird ass comments out of nowhere. You freak everyone out. Did your filter die?"

The Ox leaned back from the finger a bit, that was hurting his eyes, and let out an annoyed huff, "Uh, yeah, kind of? I never liked lying and the Doctors said suppressing my feelings I'd go 'Dark' so..."

Kyou...was staring, "You can not convince me this is what your Doctors meant, dumbass." He pulled a weird face when Haru nodded, before, "Cow, just today you insulted my girlfriend saying she dresses bad," The Ox started to argue but Kyou threw up a hand for silence, "No, you said it different but the meaning was pretty clear, whatever, she forgave you immediately. Not the issue. I personally heard you tell the Rat his ass looked 'fire'. You also just announced, at fucking dinner, like any of us needed to know, that the worst part of being in a hospital is jacking off with a fucking camera watching you all the time."

Well, okay, hearing it said like that of course it sounded bad, "But...it was?"

Kyou swatted at him but refused to lean far enough, "You don't just say shit like that dumbass. That's just what I heard. You and the Rat watched the whole Avengers movie and when I passed by, you were saying something that had him nearly fucking apple. That's not a natural Rat color."

Yuki had been...an apple? That was clearly an exageration. Sure he got embarrassed a few times but Yuki was just easy to tease. Usually he would get mad first - "Oh, he got mad when I offered to show him my body."

Haru shrugged, Kyou gaped.

The Cat kept staring at him, wide eyed, shocked. It dragged on. Haru just stared back expectant.

Then the orange haired boy surged forward and chopped Haru's skull.

"Ow."

And again, again, Haru had to raise an arm to defend himself as Kyou whisper yelled, "You idiot! Of course he got mad! I always knew you were hopeless but what the fuck!"

Haru shoved him away, "Stop hitting me. We were talking about how much I worked out at the hospital. It made sense?"

"How does that make sense, exactly?"

Why was Kyou acting dense? And why was he gritting his teeth so hard when Haru flexed a bicep at him, "Uh...cause he noticed? I'm not embarrassed."

The Cat certainly seemed to be for some reason. It was like he thought he was being clear.

Finally, the orange haired boy scratched violently through his own hair and sagged, "Okay, I want to sleep tonight, so tell me exactly what happened and I'll tell your dumb ass where you went wrong."

Really? He was actually going to help? Even after all of that bitching? Still, "Stop calling me stupid, Kyou. I hate it."

"It's nearly 3AM, Haru, start talking or go back to your futon."

Crap. Okay, where to start...

"You know we have been watching movies, right?" Kyou did not respond but honestly, Haru didn't need one, "It's because they would not let us watch anything above a kid's rating, so it was kind of really boring stuff." So much educational television. "We played board games, read, and had tons of therapy sessions, all the time." Yuki had interrupted to say that sounded terrible. Kyou just waved for him to hurry it up, "I got pretty sad and skinny for awhile. Not like, Yuki skinny, but tiny for me, you know?"

The Cat did pause him there, "You did not say 'Yuki skinny' to the Rat's face, right?"

"Of course not, I'm not stupid." He nearly had.

He continued, "So I told my favorite doctor that it was making me feel really bad and they set me up with a trainer three days a week. So I basically exercised all the time. You know, for fun." The Cat nodded and that wasn't surprising. Yuki may have looked a little horrified but Kyou he knew would get it. Both of them had always been into fitness, "Yuki said he was surprised by how much muscle I had when they picked me up so I offered."

Kyou squinted, "...how did you offer exactly?"

Seriously? He had to remember?

"I..." How had it gone? Oh right, "He said it was impressive how big my arms were and I said 'Yeah, I got pretty big all over, want to see?' Then he got weird and mad."

"You did not really say that."

He crossed his arm, "Yeah, I did."

Kyou looked horrified, "Haru, you know how that sounds."

Honestly, it had not registered at the time. He was thinking of his actual muscles not his dick. Saying it out loud again even Haru caught the way it came off, "Well, I do now , but I did not then . See Kyou? I need you to help me."

"...to get together with the Rat?"

And that was kind of it. Of course, Haru wanted that. He had for a long time. Pretty sure before he even really understood it. Back when people laughed at him for saying he loved Yuki. No one seemed to understand it. Not his parents. Not Sensei. Not the other Zodiac. Even Rin nevee got it but she knew it made her feel inadequate. Sometimes it seemed like even Yuki did not have a clue despite everything.

It was clear the Cat expected an immediate yes. Especially with how shocked he looked when Haru groaned and stood up, pacing by the bed, " Of course I want to be with him, I don't hide it. I just don't know how! I keep messing up!"

Kyou snagged his arm, "Oi, keep it down, you'll wake the others."

Shit, had he been yelling? It was so stressful.

He really did need help. Was Kyou, who hated Yuki, the best person for the job? Probably not, but it wasnt like he could go to Hatori on this one, plus, "Kyou, I asked him during one of our phone calls to please wait for me and he promised, but if I keep fucking this up he's going to realize that was a mistake."

The Cat sat back, "You what? "

Haru froze, face pinched, "It was our first call before I went to the hospital. The one Ayame set up for us, remember?"

Kyou looked like he was totally lost. Still the carrot haired boy recovered quick, "So hold up, you asked him to wait for you, romantically, not long after that , and he said Yes?"

Haru nodded.

"Then why are you even worried?"

The Ox groaned and rubbed his head, "Because it was years ago and he never mentioned it again?"

"That's shitty."

He spun back toward the bed, "That's all you got?"

The other boy shrugged and waved for Haru to bring back his lost pillow, "Yeah. Look just try not to say anything stupid tomorrow and I'll talk to Tohru. She might have some ideas."

"I don't want to-"

"Well too bad, I'm involving her. Turn out the damn light."

He met Haru's glare, "If you don't let me sleep, I won't help."

Well, shit, he turned off the light.

X X X X X X X X X X

Tohru...wasn't sure what was going on today.

The Sohma household had the most awkward breakfast yet. Hatori usually seemed so unflappable but something on his phone clearly annoyed the man all morning. The boys were not that much better. Kyou seemed especially tense and kept watching the other two. For what, she wasn't sure. Hatsuharu looked real focused on eating and not talking more than he had to. Occasionally, he opened his mouth, paused, then went back to glaring at the food. Yuki seemed in the same situation as her; confused by how everyone was acting. He tried to join her in conversation but eventually gave up; politely excusing himself at the first opportunity. Once he left, Hatsuharu announced 'This sucks.' and just walked off.

Which...he ate all the food on his plate, had it really sucked?

It was a whirlwind after that. Kyou insisted she get dressed, they were going out. Less than an hour later they sat in a cafe, Tohru holding bubble tea with both hands, Kyou, Uo-chan, and Hana-chan sat around her. He must have called them at some point while she got dressed.

Uo-chan put her coffee down, "So what's with the meeting, Carrots?" She flicked a finger out, "If this is you asking our blessing for Tohru the answers no, she's too young and you're still too dumb."

"To even ask would deserve punishment," Hana tagged on, one hand curved under the small tea cup in her hand, ", but that is not why he called us. The Waves are of love but not in this present. It is another's love."

Uo-chan started, "Another? He cheating on our Tohru?"

"He wouldn't dare." Hana added on, tone a promise.

Why was Kyou so annoyed? Especially as he messed his hair with both hands, "I'm not cheating on Tohru or asking to marry her!" The girl in question sipped her tea, confused but elated for some reason, she wasn't sure, as he kept going, "Look, this is going to sound really stupid but I made a promise now I'm stuck with it." The orange haired boy threw himself in his seat, shoulders hunched, "I just don't know what I'm supposed to do so..."

Tohru lowered her drink, "So you got us all together to help?"

He just nodded and Uo-chan huffed, one hand propping up her cheek, "Let's hear it then, Carrot. What's got you all pissy?"

The boy practically snarled at her before sagging. Like he knew they were going to make fun of him. Tohru would never. Especially not with how awkward he sounded, "Haru woke me up last night and asked for my help with Yuki. He's crazy in love with the guy."

Tohru nodded.

Hana just stared at him.

It was Uo-chan who finally went, "Uh, yeah, we've heard about it, Carrots. The Prince and his," She paused, one hand tapping, ", his 'Cow Knight'?" Tohru still thought it was a little mean they covered up that slip by making fun of his hair. Uo continued, "Why did he go and get you involved? They sound like straight up destiny and you're shit at this kind of thing."

The dark girl at her side nodded her agreement, "This is true. Your waves are not those of the matchmaker." She hardly seemed impressed, "Though you do feel like approval. I thought you disliked the Prince? Why do you care?"

Kyou looked cornered, "Seriously? Can't we talk about them?"

Tohru could not help herself, she finally chimed in, one hand resting on Kyou's arm, "Umm, I was wondering too? You and Yuki have not even argued in days. It makes the house really quiet. Is it because you want to help Haru?"

The Cat's face pinched but after a moment he sighed, head dropping onto his arms, "Fine, fine, stop ganging up on me." He wasn't looking up at them but from her angle, Tohru could tell he wasn't mad. The boy had been around them all too long for that, he looked entertained, "I want to help Haru. He's always been okay with me. Even if he has bad taste, he really put it all out there." He peered up from his crossed arms, "He deserves more than to wait around feeling bad while Yuki gets his shit together."

Uo-chan smirked, "What's this? You got a little crush on the Prince's Knight too, Kyou?"

And just like that the two were arguing.

Hana-chan seemed intent to ignore them as always. She pulled Tohru's attention by sliding closer, voice just loud enough to be heard despite the yelling, "Do you think the Prince and his Knight," Apparently that name was staying. Which was fine, Tohru thought it was romantic, ", actually need our help? I thought Kyoko had already helped the Prince there?"

As always at mention of her mother; Tohru beamed brighter and shoved down the tightness in her chest, "I'm not sure. Mom said they talked a lot while she was hanging out with Mr. Kazuma." Speaking of which, she needed to check in with the man. "She would not tell me much. Yuki is very private. He would not forgive someone for betraying his trust." 'Not much' was basically nothing really. She knew Yuki confided in her mother a great deal - especially after the one therapist made him so uncomfortable somehow.

If Mom were still here she would...

Hana's hand on her's pulled Tohru up short, "Do not do that to yourself. Kyoko helped him then. It is our job to help him find the way now."

Smiling, Tohru agreed. This was their mission.

Seconds off calling Kyou a 'prissy bitch', Uo-chan ignored his response to ask, "So what? We just have to get the two of them together? how hard can that be? I heard the Prince tell his sad story right there with you guys. It's a wonder he hasn't built that badass a statue." They have debated in the past - at great length - how they felt about that situation. Tohru and Hanajima may have believed violence was not the answer but after hearing the story from Yuki, Uo-chan apparently had 'mad respect' for the 'Prince's Knight'. She was eager to meet him.

Kyou groaned, "That's not the problem." Back on the arms he went, "The problem is when it comes to people, they are two of the dumbest out there. Stupid Yuki is so weird anyway he's always getting embarrassed or mad for no damn reason. Which doesn't work with Haru saying weird shit to him all the time."

Uo-chan's thin brow arched, "What kind of weird shit?"

It had only been a few days but after a couple minutes of Kyou and Tohru going back and forth, adding things they had heard, Uo-chan raised her hands and waved for them to stop, "Okay, okay, got it. Knight is a big pervert. Really ruins the image I was building of this guy."

Hanajima looked deciding unimpressed, "Putting aside how unhappy him saying these things in front of Tohru makes me." Her entire existence made it clear that it was not put far aside. "How does the Prince actually react to them?"

Kyou was quick on the, "He hates it obviously."

She actually rolled her eyes, "No, how does he react."

Ah, Tohru understood now! She leaned forward along with the other two girls as Kyou guestured wildly, "You know, he gets all weird and blushy about it and tells Haru to shut up or stop."

Uo-chan's eyes lit up, "So he doesn't hit him or leave?"

The Cat definitely did not get it, "No?"

Tohru leaned back and smiled along with Hana while Uo-chan let out a barking laugh, "Ah Carrots, you're such an idiot with this stuff." She did not give Kyou time to start yelling again, "I've seen the Prince judo-throw a guy for calling him beautiful. If Mr. Knight is getting away with that kind of shit, Prince must like it."

Tohru could visibly see the moment her boyfriend's brain shut down at that. His mouth was gaping, the best impression of a fish, at least until she patted his forearm, "I think Uo-chan may be right. I was surprised at first but after Yuki talked to me, I kind of got it."

Kyou looked on with his gaze far away, voice drifting, "You can't... that can't... there's just no way. No one likes hearing that kind of stuff. It's weird. It's not possible that prissy bitch likes hearing all that overly sexual shit."

Uo-chan looked more like a cat than Kyou did at that.

Aa for Hana, she looked amused, "It is actually quite common in romance. Our Prince even fits the type who argues but secretly enjoys those types of attention." Tohru was too busy watching Kyou's brain break down to look to her friend as the girl continued, voice unrepentant, "It would certainly explain why he never tried to push beyond the bounds of friendship with our darling Tohru. She has many gifts but whispering empassioned, shameless filth in the Prince's ear is not one of them."

Kyou let out a sound like a wounded animal.

Uo-chan surprisingly did not attack him for it. She let the orange haired boy suffer and looked to Tohru instead, "The Prince talked to you about the Knight?"

Oh, Tohru drew up short, hands ready to wave that off with an apology about Yuki trusting her with his confidence. Yet...they were all trying to think of ways to help him, right? Surely he would not be mad if it was for a good cause? At least she hoped not, speaking with her hands fidgeting around the empty plastic cup, a nail worrying the panda label, "He did. I can't say everything, of course." The other two girls nodded at that, understanding, "I think Yuki feels this enormous debt to Haru? Especially since he just got out and I do not think they have discussed it at all." The panda began to peel as she picked up speed, "From what he told me yesterday, Hatsuharu does not want to talk about it. I think it really bothers Yuki that he did this huge, life changing thing, but acts like it was nothing."

The others were clearly tuned into her words, faces serious, even though Kyou's looked a little sour as she spoke, "I heard Mom talking to Mr. Kazuma once," Kyou definitely perked up at mention of his adopted father. "She said that Yuki seemed like he wanted to die in that place but 'that boy' made him keep going. I don't know exactly what she meant but that kind of debt has to be heavy in his heart, right?"

She waited for someone to interrupt, to tell her she was wrong, but they all seemed to be waiting. In the end she could only continue, "I do not really know Hatsuharu yet but the way he looks at Yuki is so hot," Kyou made a strange sound and Uo-chan swatted at his head to not interrupt Tohru, ", that I think it makes Yuki feel bad he can not just let it go that way?"

Hana let out a small hmm, "So they need to face their past?"

"Can they do that in bed? Think the Knight has goals." Uo-chan cut in, drawing a side eye from Hana and a choke from Kyou. She did not let up, "I guess we could push them to talk about it - bring it up-"

Tohru was quick to shut that idea down, "We can't talk about it. Hatori gave us little books that talked about making Hatsuharu feel 'normal'. He would be furious if we pushed it."

The two girls looked at Kyou who agreed before Hana sighed, low and breathy, "We should make this a weekly meeting then. It could take time."

X X X X X X X X X X

Something was wrong and despite knowing better; Yuki could not shake the feeling it was his fault. True, he had no idea what was going on with Hatori, but no one ever did. It was the rest of them that had him confused. The Cat just kept staring between Haru and him, like he was looking for something but not seeing it in either of them. It seemed dumb, but it made him feel like he was failing at something obvious.

Haru's mood did not help the feeling. The Ox was not really loud, he tended to keep mostly quiet and throw out comments sporadically. The two of them could sit for a long time in comfortable silence. What happened at breakfast wasnt that. Something clearly bothered the Ox. There was no soft smile when Yuki joined them at the table, no good morning, barely even a glance his way. It was too much of a change from the day before where Haru laid his head on Yuki and let him play with that dual colored hair. Had he done something, said something wrong?

It bothered him at the table, in the shower, in his room. His attempts to study for one of his courses ended in total failure. Reading was equally pointless. After a long period of just laying on his bed overthinking; he had enough.

So he knocked on the Cat-slash-Ox's door, "Haru?"

No reply. He considered checking downstairs but after the Cat and Tohru dashed by earlier, more weirdness for the day, he had not heard anyone else.

"Haru?"

He paused, hand on the handle. Ever since they brought him home, Haru took over the Cat's big headphones. He was probably just listening to music. They could talk later; not like it was urgent or anything...

Yuki did not let go of the knob, "Haru, I'm coming in!"

He pushed open the door.

Yuki solidly froze in place, mind fully blanked.

It was like an artist in his brain called for a total shutdown to paint something into his memory forever. The Ox's futon was horizontal to the door, straight ahead. Haru did have the headphones, clearly too loud to hear, connected to the phone held in one hand near his tilted back face. His bulk spread long across the bed with one foot flat on the mattress, knee bent, while the other leg hung off the side. The black sweats he wore earlier bunched loose around that hanging ankle, white tee rucked up to his armpits. The part of Yuki's brain that was still functional, screaming at him to get out, fought hard against the part that made his eyes follow the gradiant of black to white hair from the Ox's navel to his...

Oh, he did say things got big.

A point he proved with one long, slow stroke.

Yuki closed the door so hard he rattled the wall.

"I'm so...!"

He wasn't anything, no way, he ran. Down the stairs, nearly tripping, and into the kitchen. That room strictly because it was the first turn off he could make. A good thing everyone else was out for the day. He probably looked insane, gripping one of their chairs, eyes tightly. Don't think about it. His memory, eventually as always, fully ignored the comamnd. Don't think about it. He could literally feel the image setting up permanent residence.

This was a disaster. He had to leave, now. Even if he was lucky and Haru didn't hear the door, he wasn't doing this. Maybe staying with Ayame above his weird fantasy store would be okay...

"Yuki!"

Damn.

Don't look. Absolutely, do not look!

There was a loud crash behind him like someone hit a wall and Yuki could not help himself. It sounded like it hurt, he had to. Haru had run into the doorway and was hopping on one foot, teeth grit. The Ox had his shirt set right again and the loose sweats held tight with one fist, the string not even tied. Not that they would have fallen with the very visible bulge in the front to hold them up.

A passing thought, Haru went commando?

Yuki realized too late he was staring at it and covered his eyes with both hands with a pained sound.

...and he could still feel Haru right in front of him.

"Yuki, come on, please, I'm sorry."

The Rat felt hands on his wrists but there wasn't any pressure. Haru wasn't making him look. He wasn't being forced to do anything. Haru always let him choose to be a disaster. He still didn't peek: palms pressing harder on his sockets like he could force the images out.

"Don't freak out. Please don't freak out."

Why was Haru...?

Yuki wet his lips, voice a murmur, "I'm so sorry, Haru. I should have waited till later it was so rude of me to-"

There was a gentle tug on his wrists but not enough to move them, "Stop, it's okay. I'm not mad at you. I thought you left with Hatori."

He...what? Why?

"Still, I should have-"

Another gentle tug, "Yuki, look at me please."

He opened his mouth to explain why that was a bad idea but what came out was, "Did you wash your hands?"

A beat and he was free, "Fuck! Hold on, don't run."

It was unfair of the Ox to call him out like that before the escape plan was even off the ground. The other boy clearly moved away but it wasn't until the sound of water that Yuki unveiled his eyes to peek. Haru had moved to the sink and was violently washing his hands. At least it meant he was faced away. Looking at his back was okay. The was safer.

The white haired boy turned off the water.

Yuki's surprised himself, "Don't turn around."

And Haru listened, though his shoulders tensed.

Yuki stepped up behind the bigger man and raised a hand toward his back. It would be easy to try and smooth away that tension. Instead his hand just hovered there awkwardly.

The sound of the Ox saying his name pulled Yuki back, "I know I offered to show my body but..." He felt the heat in his face as Haru went on, voice low, "I know you're not really into that."

It was good Yuki listened to that quiet comment. He leaned forward, that hand landing on Haru's shoulder, "What are you talking about?"

"Can I turn around?"

He shook his head even if the other could not see, "No, not yet."

Haru did not argue with him though he did tilt his head back, face toward the ceiling. Maybe he was trying to sneak a peek, "You never seemed interested in people or...you know...sex." Yuki literally felt the shrug of those shoulders. If it made him blush, Haru did not need to know. Especially not if he was going to keep talking, "I always figured you were kinda asexual."

"Haru, I-"

The Ox cut him off, "Yuki, I'm okay with it." He may have been okay with that but clearly the looking away, not so much. Haru turned before Yuki could fully jerk away, caught his hand, and pulled it back to that chest, "And that's okay, I don't care. It doesn't change anything."

The intensity took the pale haired Rat back a step but the other followed, arms closing around Yuki before he could dodge. He could have tried harder honestly. At least nothing was poking him as he found his face right by the taller boy's neck, arms heavy around his body. He wasnt given time to panick, "I joke but I'll never pressure you about it, I swear. I'll be more careful so please don't freak-"

This was out of hand, "Haru, stop talking!"

The fumbling words immediately ceased even if the hold didn't. Yuki went to pull back but those arms held even tighter, boxing him in, bringing his pink face directly in front of Haru's. The guy was clearly trying to keep his calm look but failing - some fear seeping through. It wasn't much but still fueled Yuki's determination to get his words out.

Awkward or not, "I panicked because I was embarrassed, not disgusted." Brown eyes searched his face as if hunting a lie. "I'm serious, I do not find your body gross." That may have been a but much. Yuki wet his suddenly dry lips and tried to ignore the other watching. This was important, right? They had too much confusion and wrong ideas to throw another on the pile, right? Still, he could not talk about this face to face. Haru's whole body jerked when Yuki dropped his head into the Ox's chest, "I don't know where you got that idea. You're a little too much sometimes but not gross."

A pause, a moment to realize how hard Haru was breathing with his mouth so close to Yuki's head. The Rat could feel the rise and fall with his forehead, "And I'm not asexual." That could have been enough but Haru let out a sound above him that screamed more explaination was needed. Knowing it has to be done did not make it easier, "I thought for awhile I may be. I mean, I was in high-school and all around me people were doing, you know, that , but I just..."

He literally felt the Ox's lungs expand to talk and shook his head.

Haru let him keep pushing the words out, "I already felt weird enough, you know? And I could not talk to anyone about it because they all assumed back then..." He could not say it. Too many memories. Too many rooms with too many people asking about Akito and his 'relationship'. About things she had never done they were all convinced she had - even some of the other Zodiac. The first therapist he saw was clearly expecting a specific type of abuse.

The Ox had leaned into their hug, "You could have talked to me. You know I wouldn't judge."

Yuki shook his head sharply, "Too embarrassing." Not to mention he had always been a little convinced their calls were screened for anything considered inappropriate. A small sigh, a test of Haru's 'no judgement' as the Rat pressed in closer, "Kyoko helped me."

"Kyoko?"

"Tohru's mother."

There was silence above him until Yuki realized, Haru did not know Kyoko. Nothing about her. He never even got to meet her. The clench of his heart at picturing her face still hurt like a wound, "Kazuma's girlfriend who passed away."

A soft, breathy, "Oh." was all the answer given.

Yuki sighed, pushing those feelings aside and instead focusing on the warmth surrounding him. It had been a very long time since they were like this, "She always listened to me even when I did not know what I was saying. Told her that I was worried about it. The next day she sat me down with Hanajima, one of Tohru's friends. She identifies as asexual and we talked about it." It had been a much less weird conversation than this one. Then again, Hanajima seemed totally unbothered at all times. Haru's breathing had only started to smooth, "The things she said...they just didn't match what I was feeling? What I feel. It's not the same."

A hand went down his back and abruptly, before he knew it, Yuki was being petted. Degrading, if it did not feel kind of nice. Haru seemed to have mustered some of his confidence back, "There are a lot of sexualities out there - Ayame said that to me once. I don't know them all but maybe you fit a different one."

Yuki sighed, back curling when Haru pressed in, "Maybe..."

He should have pulled back. He told himself again and again to do it but made no moves. The tension held as Haru's hand smoothed from between his shoulders, along his spine, pressed into the dip of his lower back. The Ox never went lower. The hand lifted and retracted that path over and over.

Until it froze, midway down, fingers spread, "Yuki, can I ask you something?"

He let out a quiet 'hmm?' sound.

"Don't get mad at me, promise?"

Oh no. It was too late to pull away. Damn.

Haru did not give him long to freak out, "When you, uh, came in earlier..." Even Haru was being awkward. Yuki took a mental note that their hips were not pressed together. He may have even shifted back further as Haru sighed practically in his hair, "Was it a good, that is, I mean, did you like what you saw?"

Did he like what he saw? Yuki internally screamed.

Loose gripped. Darker, not as pale as Yuki's. Thicker if not longer. Position casual, comfortable, messy. Those eyes intense on the screen, chest rising and falling with a slow glide over the flushed tip, a swivel of the palm before going back down.

Yuki felt himself burning.

He could lie. He should lie. It would be easy.

But this was Haru, voice so hopeful, still holding on to him with a grip that loosened incrementally as the silence stretched after the question. Haru who had been walked in on during an incredibly private moment but worried how it would effect him first. Haru who, despite he acted, Yuki knew was at least a little sensitive to the judgement of others.

There was no way he could lie.

"I did not hate it." A heavy exhale from above, a bated breath set free. The Ox probably had that overjoyed look on his face others would mistake as still bring bored. Yuki didn't look, "I mean, yes, you umm..." He knew he could do it, "Your... work on your body really shows."

Long, comfortable, the promise of abs in a relaxed stomach. The tense and release of an arm with the repetitive motion. Hanging thigh flexed.

It had taken up real estate in his head.

There was a feeling againdt his hair before Haru pulled away. Yuki could not help but tilt his head at a mere two inches between them. On anyone else that expression would have look pleased. On the Ox it was practically beaming rays of sunshine. It came before his usual honesty, "You have no idea how glad I am to hear that." A hand came up, finger scratching at the edge of his smile, "I'm serious, I would be totally okay if you never... Not that we have to, no pressure. It's just nice to know that that the chance exists, you know?"

How did he just say things like that? Yuki fought against his rising temperature, a deep breath, a dry swallow, "I'm not...opposed to the idea." And now he was thinking about it, wonderful, get it together, "I've been curious before just..." There was a lot he could say. Almost all of it too revealing, "...just never trusted people with that ."

Haru must have caught the implication of who deserved trust. The white haired boy's smile was a full on grin. It looked a little close to Dark Haru - enough Yuki had to remind himself that personality was 'gone'. It did not feel threatening the way Dark's hard, "Whenever you decide just let me know. Wake me up in the middle of the night. I won't care. Whatever you want to do, I'm there."

Whatever he wanted to...

Yuki stamped down any ideas that spawned mercilessly. Clearly the first thing he wanted to do was help Haru learn how to not embarrass him. At least, it was on the list after, "I won't be doing any of that until we talk about some other things first. We can't put it off forever, Haru."

It felt a little bad to ruin that face. Especially as Haru let out a huge sigh and leaned back against the sink, arms crossed. Seeing the Ox get defensive was strange, "We really can't just move past it? Yuki, it was a lot of shit for both of us. It took years for me to get back to you. Do we have to...?"

The Ox did not beg. He hated to. They both knew it.

And thankfully they both knew Yuki hated what he had to say, "I'm sorry. Just I can't do that. I can't just let it go." It seemed the guy did know it. His posture did not relax but he still thrust out a hand, palm up. Yuki did not even think about it - he was ruining the Ox's mood why deny him this. He took the hand with his, "It is driving me crazy already. Every time we talked on the phone I wanted to talk about it. As soon as I had you on the car I wanted to. I'm never allowed to and..."

A tight squeeze at his hand pulled Yuki out. Haru did not look happy anymore. If anything he looked a little worried. Yet he still tried to obviously force a smile, "Okay, I get it. Don't stress yourself out. We can talk. Just can it not be today?" Yuki was prepared to argue that. He just revealed a lot - why not continue the trend. The Ox headed him off, "Tomorrow, I swear, we can hang out and talk all day until you are happy. Just let me be happy for today before we talk and you decide you don't like me."

He...what was that even supposed to...?

" Please Yuki, let's just how fun today."

Haru was actually begging him. It felt wrong.

He sighed and turned on his heel, pulling the Ox along, "I'm going to think about what you just said all day." He could not resist, even if Haru made a wounded sound, "But fine, we can just relax today. There are still three of those Avenger movies to get through."

Yuki paused midway into the living area and glanced back, one fine brow arched, "After you shower and put on something under those."

That did it, Haru brightened up, "Whatever you want."

X X X X X X X X X X

There were a lot of places they could meet. Just the area around his home and office were littered with cafes, restaurants, and parks. Any of those would have worked. The fact that man picked an all day bar with a seahorse logo on the door was clearly intentional. A nautical themed bar full of sad eyed people drinking at noon, nothing else to do with their time or lives.

Some things time could not fix.

The games never ended no matter how he tried.

Shigure was still an ass even to his friends.

It wasn't hard for Hatori to find him. Far back booth, right by a window, a place for private meetings and grown men to look important. The Dog of the Zodiac still wore his old style kimonos though the rimmed glasses were new. He also greeted Hatori still as if they were close friends who regularly met for drinks at, a glance to his watch, 12:35 in the afternoon. It was off putting.

"It's been too long. Didn't bring Ayame for backup?"

So was that.

The Doctor sighed and rubbed at his eyes. He was already too exhausted for this by everything else lately, "Should I have? I assumed years of friendship would limit your threats to texts only."

Shigure had the gall to smile, "I do not think you will need Aya today." The expression stayed, his eyes did not match it, "It is rude to say I was threatening you anyway. I just wanted you to actually come meet me for once."

This was ridiculous. Hatori pulled out his phone, tapped quickly, and put the device between them, "Do explain what this is then."

Shigure [7:23]: Tori we need to tslk.

Shigure [8:10]: I know you wake up early.

Shigure [9:00]: Silent treatment? How rude, Doctor.

Shigure [10:02]: I will call my lawyer then~ ♡

The Dog pressed up his glasses with a finger while reading as if he had never seen the texts before, "Hm, you're right. That does sound a little bad. Still," the author sat back, hands clapping together, ", it got you to call me! Forgive me for the drastic measures to get you out of that palace of yours!"

Hatori spared a glance toward the bar and wondered if maybe he would need a drink after-all. Not even five minutes and already this felt ridiculous, "My home is hardly a palace."

"Hmm, not sure I would agree, Tori." One hand raised, fingers up, as he counted, "It is one of the nicest homes in an upscale area." One down. "You are building a whole new annex on to it." Two. "You have a live-in servant with the lovely Ms. Honda." Three. "You never leave it, choosing to manage the Sohma clan from those walls." Four. The last, his thumb, Shigure waved in a circle, head tilting, "Oh, and you built it using blood money when your predecessor was removed from power."

The thumb curled into his palm with the rest.

They really had to do this dance again? Hatori could not feel angry anymore, this same conversation had repeated often enough in various forms. Some far more hostile than this.

"You've made your thoughts on my being head of the family clear already, Shigure."

He truly had: verbally, written, even legally on one outstanding occasion. Aya had joking suggested framing that notice of lawsuit as opposed to burning it in the trash can. It did not matter that Shigure dropped it before they has to meet - probably Aya's work. Just the existence of it had stung deeply.

The Dog nodded, "Yes, you are the Head thanks to that nasty Will. I'm sure Akito would be rolling in her bed over our family scattered to the four winds." One of the man's long fingers ran the rim of his glass. It looked like whiskey. "You know, if she were capable of moving on her own at all, that is."

He was not doing this again, not today.

"If this is all you called me for, I'm leaving."

He did not even make it out of the chair before Shigure sighed, as if he were the one wronged, body leaning forward, "Sit down, Tori. I actually have things to talk to you about. Some more important than old lady Okami closing down the inn and running off with Ritsu to Nagano without telling you a thing."

...shit.

Hatori all but fell back into his seat, "Is that true?"

Judging by the look, it was, "Afraid so, Tori. Another one flees the ship." The Dog waved a hand at the bar around them as if to say 'look, a sinking ship!' as he continued, his smile plastered on, "That is not what I wanted to tslk about though. Other concerns are a little more pressing to me."

Try as he might not to hate his old friend sometimes it was hard, "Such as?"

Shigure pulled out his phone, free hand adjusting his glasses as he read, "I am not sure I can pronounce this." He proceeded to try and mangled the name but Hatori stilled. That mangled name made sense to him as a Doctor as well as another reason. The latter seemed to be why the author knew it, "That is what they perscribed to our dear Ox, right?"

"Really, Shigure?"

The Dog ignored him, "It is for a condition called disassociative identity disorder, correct? The primary diagnosis for the boy? Apologies, man, he's legally an adult now." He seemed to ignore Hatori entirely in an attempt to make his damn point, "So he takes this pill each morning and is a regular member of society." He turned and slid the phone back into his pocket, still speaking, "I've been informed that him taking it every morning is a term in the release contract you negotiated."

How in the...

"You're surprisingly well informed."

The other man shrugged, "You may be the Head of the family, but I am over her personal well-being. It was not hard for my lawyer to get a copy of the release papers."

Hatori did not bother faking an emotion. Easier to just show the disdain in his frown, "You are still after him, Shigure? It's been years. He alteady paid with the end of his childhood in a hospital. Thanks in great part to you."

"He paid?" The man crossed his arms over the kimono, "Hatori, we seem to have a different opinion of the value in a person's life."

"Not some random person's life, Akito's."

Shigure tilted is head, "Hmm?"

This was ridiculous and he was not planning to entertain it, "Don't act charitable. You only care because it was her." The Dog looked ready to continue his game but Hatori held up a hand to stop him before it started, "So you had your attorney dig up Haru's release. What is your goal here, Shigure? Are you going to try and contest it? Deny him his medication? I already have to take him to a licensed psychiatrist twice a month." All delivered in a monotone, he was starting to not care, "So what do you want?"

The author had the gall to look put out, his lips downturned, "You really dislike me now, huh?"

And that...

Hatori sighed, deep and put upon, "You make it hard not to, Shigure. You know full well I did no wish to be family head. You also know I do not enjoy it, nor am I particularly good at it. Akito chose me for some reason we may never know." And that was certainly a question Hatori asked himself at least once a day it seemed, even after all the time that had passed.

Yet he still tried, "And yet you mock my every decision and hound me over those boys." The Dog looked ready to interject, Hatori did not allow it, "I cared for Akito as well, Gure. Maybe not in the way you do, but I also remember the feeling."

He did not bother explaining which feeling. The other man could draw his own meaning; wether Hatori meant the day they first felt her enter their lives or the horrible day of the incident. That day that a heart clenching pain ran through each member of the Zodiac as one among the banquet struck at their God. The day their feeling of attachment to something greater fell silent and cold.

Silence draped between then until at last Shigure polished off his day whiskey, "I'm sorry."

Hatori scoffed, "No, you're not."

The author just smiled at that, "I want a day with the Ox."

The Dragon crossed his arms, "Absolutely not."

Shigure kept that smile, "It's not like I am going to take him off and torture him, Tori." Physically not, Hatori could believe that, it was the Ox's mental health at stake. The Dog continued on, voice uncomfortably warm, "I have questions I want answered. Back then Haru was too Dark to make sense. Now he is supposedly healthy and you've kept him from me for years."

"And I stand by my decision." Hatori responded smartly.

The kimono-clad man seemed unimpressed, "Tori, I want one day with him; to talk, and I want him to see what he did. I want him to look at her with his own eyes." The smile slipped, warmth faded into the jaded bitterness that Hatori had unfortunately grown more accustomed to, "I can't accept it till I know why."

"You know why, she was starving Yuki-"

Hatori was cut off by the man speaking over him, "It has to be more than that. She was playing with him for months. No one cared enough to take Yuki out of that room. Not even the Ox did more than sneak in and give him food." Shigure tapped his hand on the table, rythmic, filled with old annoyance, "You know me, Tori. I'll never make peace with it til I know what went on between them to cause it."

Hatori could only sigh, body leaned back against the booth. This wasn't new either. All of the Zodiac had at some point asked the Dragon what went on that night. Even sweet little Kisa had wanted to know. They all came with questions and the same sad acceptance when he did not know more than them. Some were more determined than others such as Rin or Momiji. None of them had the same raw determination as the one who held the place of the Dog.

"You plan to make him relive the entire thing?"

The man did nothing in response. Not even a twitch.

"What you are wanting is cruel, you do know that? Gure, he could be happy. Yuki, Kyou, and Tohru - my 'live-in servant' as you insist on calling her - are all trying." They were. Yuki was no surprise, Tohru honestly would mother a spider, but Kyou's quiet efforts were not unnoticed. In their own ways they were helping Hatsuharu adapt. Hatori had no skill in helping people that way; he could only assist them by being a guardian, "I do not know what you have planned but I won't have you drag him off for a day and bring back a broken child."

The dog tutted, "He's an adult now, Tori, they all are."

"That may be how you and your lawyer see them, not me."

There was a stare off between the two. Not the first, likely not the last, and as usual the Dog gave in. The sour look that slid across his face and away did not feel like victory, "One day, I pick him up in the morning and bring him back in the evening. Aya can chaperone if you are so worried but not Yuki, Kyou, or you." Hatori must have reacted as Shigure held up both hands for peace, "Aya would not allow me to hurt one of your adult-children but he will at least let us talk without interruption or trying to fight me."

"I would not try to fight you either."

Shigure actually rolled his eyes, "Not with your fists."

It was hard to argue that, "And if I or more importantly Hatsuharu refuse?"

The dog brought the glass to his lips before noticing it was empty. He signaled for another. Was the day drinking special or routine now? The ice swished back and forth as he motioned with the lowball, "Hm, I have my attorney file motion after motion to get him sent back. Pain and suffering, instability, you are not making him take the meds, whatever really."

Hatori actually wanted to use his fists this once, "None of that would work and you know it."

A shrug, the Dog actually shrugged at him, "Does it matter? All of you just want to move on and I can't, so why drag it out forever?"

Hatori was done , "I'll ask him. If he says no, that's it. Attempt any of what you said and I'll strike you from this family, Shigure."

The waitress looked uncomfortable dropping a drink off on the tail end of that but the author just thanked her and took a sip.

"Do it. The Sohma family is finished anyway."