Archive of Our Own ^beta

Tony knows that Happy has been tactfully avoiding him since the latest incident, but he also knows that Happy is going to be in his office all day today. Tony has had Pepper saving up all of Happy’s paperwork all week to dump it on him today for just that reason, because Tony is tired of chasing him all over the place and Pepper has refused to help any more than that.

And JARVIS won’t help either, that traitor, just because Happy plays chess with the AI and never gets tired of being beat.

But now Happy has nowhere to run, he should be done with the interviews Tony saw on his calendar and just diving into the paperwork and Tony is ready to strike.

“Happy Harold Hogan,” Tony is already saying as he bursts into the office and oops, apparently Happy is not quite done with his last interview yet.

That seems the most likely reason for the man with the brand new suit and the broad shoulders standing across the desk from Happy, apparently forgetting that they were in the middle of shaking hands and jumping as he looks up at Tony with wide eyes. It’s too late to stop now though, Tony has been planning this speech for days, he is on a roll, so he just keeps right on going.

And honestly, if the guy is going to work here he deserves to know that his new boss is a lunatic. And yes, Tony does mean Happy and himself.

"I have a very important question for you," Tony says, fixing his own attention on Happy again because he doesn't need to add 'eyes up the employees' to this interesting first impression he's making on the new hire here.

Happy is staring back at him with his mouth hanging open and his eyebrows slowly crawling up his forehead, which Tony is going to take as a sign that he doesn't want the talking-to he's about to get but that's too bad.

"Why," Tony demands, "am I still hearing that you're frisking the delivery people? We talked about this. There's 'taking security seriously' and then there's you and you are a lawsuit waiting to happen, stop-"

That's about the time Tony notices Happy's office is a lot cooler than he expected. And breezier. Which isn't right, Tony is in a three piece suit today and he rushed down here before Happy had a chance to grab his paperwork and flee, so he glances dam at himself and sure enough-

"Oh come on," Tony says, staring down at his own bare chest in dismay. And his bare legs. And his stupid novelty boxers. The cartoon platypuses smile back up at him from the neon blue fabric.

"Meetin' your soulmate on laundry day, huh?" Says the other guy in the room, who is apparently Tony's soulmate, and he sounds way too amused, "I used to have those nightmares."

"I'll have you know these are my favorite boxers" Tony says with a sniff, because Rhoday gave him these last christmas and no one is allowed to bad-mouth them, "and that way my favorite suit."

Tony finally looks up at the guy, because he hadn't registered much more than blue eyes and shoulders, and he should probably actually introduce himself to the soulmate he's been 'magically laid bare before' and god this doesn't even happen to people anymore-

All of Tony's plans go right out the window when his eyes actually land on the man, along with his words and most of his higher brain power. The charming introduction that he definitely hasn't been planning most of his life is gone and all that comes out is a strangled noise.

"You are a lawsuit waiting to happen," Happy grumbles loudly, but Tony is not paying him an ounce of attention.

No, Tony has far more important things to focus on, like the fact that those blue eyes are set in a handsome face and the shoulders are attached to a thick chest and solid waist, all cut with muscle and no less attractive for the scars littering his left side. There's a lot of other things to take in too, like the dark hair pulled up into a small bun and the thighs as thick as Tony's head, but most of Tony's attention is now caught on the fact that rather than questionably embarrassing novelty boxers, it appears his soulmate is wearing no underwear today. The only thing he's wearing is a vaguely sheepish grin, hands held in front of his crotch to keep up some semblance of decency and he is using both hands, hello.

"Let me guess, laundry day?" Tony asks once he finally drags his gaze back up to the man's face, raising one eyebrow and ignoring the fact that his soulmate's expression is now more of a 'knowing smirk.'

“Would you believe me if I said yes?” The man asks, his gaze flicking over to Happy for just a second, and oh the hint of pink spreading across the bridge of his nose is just adorable.

"Would you at least close the door?" Happy demands and when Tony finally looks over again Happy is staring resolutely at the ceiling.

"Whoops," Tony says and finally lets the door fall closed behind him. He'd kind of completely forgotten about the hallway and everything in the face of his soulmate's... Physique. At least the man looks amused, mostly, rather than scandalized and offended.

Both of which nicely sum up the look on Happy's face as he keeps his eyes firmly on the ceiling and says, "Boss, this is the new hire, James Barnes. Mr Barnes, Tony Stark."

"My friends call me Bucky," his soulmate says then glances down at his own crotch, which Tony has been trying not to do but oops there he goes again, "I'd offer to shake your hand, but uh-"

"Please don't," Happy interjects even though he's still staring at the ceiling, that baby.

"So, I'll just say it's nice to meet you," Bucky says with a tiny shrug, and Tony is going to call him Bucky, and Tony does not mind the way the motion makes the muscles in his shoulders and chest roll.

"Oh the pleasure is all mine," Tony says with a wide smirk, stepping a little closer, but then stops and turns to Happy when he pointedly clears his throat. "Instead of loitering and making unhappy noises you could do something helpful," Tony points out, "like go find us some clothes before I have no choice but to jump this man." After a second of thought he turns to Bucky and adds, "Respectfully."

"Respectfully, not if I jump you first," Bucky says, his voice a little lower than it had been, and there's probably no hope of hiding the goosebumps that break out across Tony's skin.

"Yeah there is zero chance I'm leaving the two of you alone now," Happy says, still sounding vaguely pained, "this is my office."

"You never let me have any fun," Tony pouts at him, and he's about to insist this is the rocket boot incident all over again when the sound of Bucky's soft laugh thoroughly steals his attention back.

“I wouldn’t mind some clothes,” Bucky says, “seein’ as how I was just hired and I’m already runnin’ the risk of losing this job for sudden nudity.”

“I think we can make an extreme exception,” Happy says, and then shoots a glare at Tony when he tries to subtly inch closer to Bucky again.

“No clothes,” Tony insists, smirking as he waves a hand at all of Bucky and adds “I’m pretty sure it’s a crime to cover all that up.”

“Disagree,” Happy interjects.

Tony isn’t listening to him anymore though, he’s much more interested in Bucky. In the way Bucky’s eyes keep drifting down Tony’s chest before snapping back up again, the way he tries to subtly adjust his hands in front of his dick but oh, Tony sees it.

“So what’re you doing after this?” Tony asks with a grin, sidling a little closer and ignoring the hand Happy waves at him.

“Hopefully gettin’ some clothes and takin’ you out,” Bucky says and it looks like he’s resisting the urge to move closer too, “or, if you don’t think I’m too easy, maybe somethin’ that doesn’t require clothes.”

“I like the sound of that, and I am easy,” Tony says with a wink and shifts a little closer, ignoring the huff that Happy lets out. It’s a little harder to ignore the stapler that Happy throws at him, and Tony barely dodges out of the way with a squawk. “This is no way to retain employees,” Tony tells him grumpily, “don’t throw things at people.”

“I’m throwing things at you,” Happy says flatly, and then raises a paperweight in a clear threat when Tony glances over at Bucky again. He lowers the glass turtle when Tony holds up his hands in a placating gesture and then says, “And if we did have a retention problem, it would be because the CEO is a lunatic who makes the worst first impression.”

“How dare you,” Tony demands, clapping his hand over his chest like he’s physically pained.

“I don’t mind the first impression,” Bucky says with a smirk and a wiggle of his eyebrows, gaze lingering on Tony’s thighs.

“And this is why you’re my new favorite,” Tony tells him seriously and he can't resist the urge to try and move a little closer again, he simply can’t.

Happy throws the paperweight.

It bounces harmlessly off the wall several feet to the right of them, but Tony still gasps and flinches dramatically. And uses that as an excuse to get a couple steps closer to Bucky, because he is a genius after all.

“You alright?” Bucky asks with a small grin that mostly looks like he’s trying not to full on laugh at Tony.

“I’ll survive,” Tony says with a heavy sigh, “and one day, with lots of time, I might even get past this betrayal and find it in my heart to forgive him.”

“So generous of you,” Bucky says, leaning closer and apparently all too happy to play along with Tony’s dramatics, “what a large heart you must have.”

“I’ve got plenty of large parts,” Tony promises with an exaggerated wink.

Something else goes clattering into the wall and then Happy mutters to himself, “Shit, I’m out of things to throw.”

Bucky laughs softly, pink spreading across the bridge of his nose again, and his eyes flick over to Happy for a second before he asks, "So uh, how do you feel about cats?"

“You have a cat?” Tony asks, blinking a couple times as he processes that, and then he blurts "how do you feel about a summer wedding?"

“I think spring is closer,” Bucky replies instantly, grinning wider, leaning closer. It looks like Bucky is about to reach out for him before he remembers his current state of undress and barely stops before he exposes himself, much to Tony's disappointment.

The supposedly traumatized Happy probably appreciates it though, and that thought has Tony realizing that the man has been conspicuously silent for a while now. When Tony looks over it appears that Happy is typing frantically at his phone, and Tony is instantly suspicious.

"What are you doing over there?" He demands.

"Texting Pepper about you," Happy replies, instantly and shamelessly.

"No!" Tony shouts, lunging towards the desk while Bucky makes a startled grab for him and Happy shouts as he finally gets the inevitable eyeful.

By the time Pepper gets there Happy has banished them to opposite sides of the room and forbidden them from further suggestive banter or 'revolting' flirting. He won't even let them talk.

"Well now I understand why I was told to bring pants, but nothing else," she says in greeting.

"Pepper, Happy won’t let me make out with my soulmate in his office," Tony whines.

"Hi, nice to meet you," Bucky says, now half-hiding behind one of the chairs and the pink in his cheeks from accidentally flashing Happy hasn't quite faded.

Pepper just sighs and pointedly holds out two pairs of pants.