Chapter Text
Chuuya walked past Koyou, who was giving him a disapproving look, as her eyes were on the sleeping girl in his arms. The young man couldn't bring himself to look into his mentor's eyes.
“Why do you keep doing this to yourself? I am grateful for what she has done to help you in this situation, but she is also the reason you got yourself punished.” She said in a serious tone that sounded almost like a scolding, Chuuya didn't say anything back, he just kept walking forward listening to the steps of the older elegant woman walking after him.
“You are only going to hurt yourself! Why do you insist on repeating history, Chuuya-” the often composed woman was losing his patience, she was not heartless, she had come to care for the young man, he came to her an insecure yet explosive teenager, and now he was a respectable man capable of handling complex situations a strong pillar of the Port Mafia.
“Do you know how hard it is for me to get close to someone? We all carry reputations, everyone on this city walks away when they see me enter the place, they bow their heads in fear, and that's how it should be, I get it” Chuuya kept on walking, his voice was soft, as if he was telling Koyou a bedtime story, the older woman just kept following him and listening carefully.
“So when I saw her in that bar, she didn't move when everyone on the counter left their seats, she just stared at me with a raised eyebrow, we had a conversation like normal people, no fear, no respect, no nothing. She gave me home baked cookies because I was drunk and wished I made it home safe… so excuse me if I cant fucking get away from her, because I really cant, and I don't want to” He said in desperation, Koyou kept quient and placed a hand on his shoulder, letting him know she understand, but walked past him, also letting know she did not approve.
Chuuya made it to the corridor and the black lizard group stood firm as if waiting for orders, the young man walked past them only nodding at them.
“He's outside the building, I can drop her off so you can rest” Akutagawa said in a soft voice, Chuuya just kept walking, making his way to the main entrance of the building, trying to walk in between the still unconscious men.
“Pick these men up for fucks sake, check they are all right and let them rest in the infirmary.” The freckle faced man said with authority despite looking like he had lost all his fights.
Dazai was outside with a crutch under his arm, looking at Chuuya with a smirk but dark eyes, the Executive returned his empty look with a glare, beside his former partner was the tiger boy, looking worried, not hiding his concern for the girl sleeping in his arms.
“What happened, is she okay? Why is she unconscious?” Atsushi asked in panic, walking closer to the Mafia Executive.
“She is fine Atsushi-kun, she is just tired” Dazai said in a soft voice and Chuuya scrunched his nose reacting to the strange tone the detective was using with his protegeé, 'he sure has changed, at least his methods' was all that Chuuya could thing.
“She was supposed to come out an hour ago…did something happen?” the browned haired detective asked the ginger mafioso, and he just responded by shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.
“Nothing important” he whispered and Dazai gave him a suspicious look, then motioned Atsushi to carry the young woman passed out in Chuuya's arms.
“We'll take it from here, chibi, go and take a bath, you look like hell” Dazai said mockingly, and Chuuya handed the girl carefully to Atsushi, who still had the concerned look on his eyes, eyeing her from head to toe as if to make sure she was complete.
“She really is fine, just tired probably” Chuuya whispered to the worrisome young man, who gave him a soft smile.
“Well, see you never Chuuya, always a displeasure, hope you shrink a couple centimeters!” Dazai said while walking away, Atsushi followed behind him, he then turned and bowed respectfully to Chuuya, who lifted a dismissive hand.
“Fuck you, Dazai, hope you live a thousand years more!” Chuuya yelled and he could hear a faint “that's rude Chuuya!” scream in response. The young executive made his own way home, walking alone in the middle of the night, too tired to think, too tired to make something out of these things he was feeling.
◘◘◘
I woke up and felt the sun in my eyes, the slight feeling of warmth from the daylight making the pain in my head subside a little. The memories of past events run through my mind like a weird vivid dream that seemed far away, but too close for comfort at the same time. I heard the rhythmic sound of breathing that was alien to mine.
Carefully I opened her eyes and saw the handsome detective resting with his back to a wall, sitting down on the floor with his eyes closed, a crutch by his side, only missing his coat and shoes. A peaceful look on his face, his mouth slightly open as he slept soundly. I didn't move an inch, I knew the moment I even blinked he would wake up, so I stayed unmoving just enjoying the view, guessing that the plan had gone just as it should have.
“Hey, angel, wake up” I whispered and he closed his eyes tighter as in protest and whined, I just giggled.
“I thought you were not going to stay in my apartment anymore” a tone of mockery in my voice and he laughed softly, still without opening his eyes, he stretched his arms up.
“This is different, I am here in mere business in case I needed to deactivate your ability, you overdid it last night so there might be some side effects, and I was not talking risks” He said in his raspy, just woken up, voice and I moved around in the bed, laying on my stomach.
“I thought we were waking up” He whispered, sliding off the wall into the floor, laying on the floor completely.
“My head hurts a little bit, my eyes too, life is pain” I said, hugging my pillow and he hummed.
“Do you feel feverish?” He asked in a soft tone and I put a hand to my forehead, not feeling particularly hot, so I mumbled a soft 'no' in response.
Then there was silence.
“You can lay in bed with me, you know? Completely innocent, you had stitches a couple days ago, you shouldn't be on the hard floor” I said softly, hoping he would climb in bed with me and I could feel his presence closer.
“Fine, but no funny business, I am a well behaved young man after all” He said in a playful tone and I chuckled loudly. My eyes closed and my face placed in the pillow, I felt him pulling the covers and entering the bed slowly and carefully. I opened my eyes and looked at him, he was resting his face on his hand, his body turning my way, his eyes on my figure.
“What did the Agency say?” I asked and he hummed and touched my hair, playing with the strands of wild hair. My headache disappeared the moment he touched me and I closed my eyes in relief.
“That you are reckless but also kind of cool, and they are gonna let it slide since there wasn't much problem about it” He answered and kept running his fingers through my hair probably noticing that I was feeling better with his touch. I hummed in response and kept my eyes closed.
“What happened in the cell? you were an hour late” He asked in a firm tone that made me a little nervous so I kept quiet hoping he would think I am asleep but nothing gets past the genius detective.
He pulled the pillow where I was resting my head harshly towards him, making me open my eyes and now I was close to his face. He had that hard and almost intimidating look on his eyes. I turned to my side now facing him and mirroring his position, but I curled into myself hugging my arms and lifting my knees up, almost in a fetal position and he furrowed his eyebrows.
“I… had a little breakdown and cried the whole hour, Chuuya literally rocked me like a baby to calm me down” I said, closing my eyes in fear of his judgment.
“Why were you crying.” His questions sounded more and more like demands.
“I felt guilty” I whispered, I felt little beside him.
“Guilty of what” I sensed anger in his tone and I bit my tongue and kept quiet. I felt his hand grab my jaw and I opened my eyes in surprise. He looked angry and I didn't understand why.
“Of hurting him, you told me what would happen and I still ignored it, he was hurt because of me” I whispered with sadness in my voice.
“He made his choice too, it's not entirely on you, so why are you really guilty” He has not let go of my face and his eyes are still dark with anger.
“I don't think I am that worthy of sacrifice” I whispered and I felt a tear roll down my cheek, Dazai let out a sigh and his eyes closed as if he was relieved.
“It's okay, you are a little slow sometimes so I will explain it to you… you are worthy of going through hell for because you would do that for the people you care about, you are selfless and self sacrificing but not for everyone, only for the people you think they deserve your affection, and so, if you care about us, you make us believe we have value as human beings, you are giving that to deeply broken people, desperate for a sense of meaning or some kind of prove that we are human, and so, we will do anything to preserve that piece of mind your existence give us.” Dazai said as if he was explaining to me why the sky was blue, a soft smile on his lips and half opened eyes, the grip on my jaw turned into a soft touch as his hand stayed softly in my neck. I stayed silent looking at him confused.
“Honeybear, I would burn the city down for you, not caring about how the smoke will affect others as long as you are by my side, because I am selfish, I need you to remind me I am human every morning and every night so I don't go insane, and in all honesty, I don't care if that's a burden to you, I'll take what I can get.” He said as his voice turned into a whisper, his hand pushed me closer to him until my forehead was on his, and then he closed his eyes, falling asleep and leaving me with the confusion and emotion that his words made inside my mind.
“You are really the devil” I whispered and closed my eyes as well.