Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ah.. ah ah.. Alpha..”

“Fuck omega!”

Jungkook kept trusting inside Jimin until he came so hard, filling him to the brim and locking him on his knot. He was just about to collapse on the bed pulling Jimin on to his body when the omega whined.

“Fuck me.. Please alpha..”

“But baby I just knotted you, we just came and-”

“More.. Want more..”

And of course, who was Jungkook to say no? An omega in heat was so strong and always craved for more so Jungkook started circling his hip so that his knot touched deep inside Jimin. He was a crying mess but begged for more. So Jungkook gave his all.

The heat, as always lasted for four days and it ended up making the both mates exhausted but happy. The day they stepped outside, Jimin was limping hanging on his mate’s arm. The pack members smiled at them when they took steps towards the lake because they could smell their pack alpha and omega’s scents mixed with sex. Jungkook could only fill their tank once and it was finished already, he should ask some alphas to do that for them.

Jimin was smiling in happiness swimming in the lake. The fond smile Jungkook had only for him was making him feel so content. When Jungkook pulled him to another kiss under the water, Jimin hummed hugging his neck tight.

It was the fourth winter to their mating and marriage.

Jeon Jungkook the pack alpha of Jeon pack, the largest and the strongest pack of Sothern lands was Jimin’s mate which made him the pack omega. The pack was spread through the beautiful forest which lead towards a lake to the north and a river for the south. The life was good, the harvest, water and safety was not a problem in the pack so it was all good.

Jimin was the omega son of alpha Park, the head alpha of the hunting pack, his brother Yoongi was the eldest son of the family and was an alpha. Being a warrior, the hunting pack leader means having to be close to the pack alpha so Jimin’s father always took them to the head alpha’s home, ended up Yoongi being close to Jungkook since they were kids. Seokjin Jungkook’s omega brother didn’t play with the alphas but was close to other omegas including Jimin.

One day a very sweaty 15 winters old Jungkook came home to witness his brother standing up on a chair which was shaking and alpha Park’s omega son was trying to help him even if he was just so tiny to hold the chair. Before Jungkook jumped forward to help, he knew his alpha was adoring the other omega for trying to save his brother.

That’s how it started.

Jimin found Jungkook in their home more than before when he came to meet Seokjin. The alpha always gave him a warm smile and sometimes the eyes became darker, checked out him from head to toe before releasing his strong smell of maple syrup. It made Jimin blush because he knew what that meant, that the alpha was interested in him.

When Jimin was 18 and Jungkook was 17 winters old, Jungkook gave him his first courting gift of a beautiful pouch made with white fur of a rabbit with a leather hook and a handle. The alpha had hunted the rabbit and skinned it himself, asked his mother to help it sew so he could gift it to his future mate, which Jimin accepted with blushed cheeks.

Their parents couldn’t be happier.

They were falling deeper and harder and the marriage ceremony happened when Jimin was 23 and Jungkook was 22 winters.

They mated on their honeymoon night and the rest was the history.

After four winters to their mating, they were still in honeymoon pace, love didn’t fade away and they were expecting to start a family soon. Jungkook became the pack alpha two winters ago and now they were ready for it, it was also the duty as the pack alpha to bring pups to the pack who held his blood. Jimin was so happy about the heat he spent with his mate because they were trying from a long time now and he couldn’t wait anymore.

“I know.. This time we did it. I know..” Jungkook said kissing Jimin’s forehead before pulling him to step out of the lake.

* * *

And they couldn’t do it.

Jimin wasn’t pregnant.

He had stopped using herbal tea and suppressant two year ago after Jungkook became the pack alpha and ever since they tried to get pregnant. Even after more heats and ruts, they were still not pregnant and it killed them, specially Jimin. The pack council was pressuring Jungkook, their families were asking when they’ll see their pups and they couldn’t answer.

It was until Jungkook came home to Jimin with a news.

“They ask why we are late to bring my offspring and- and ask me to take a concubine if you can’t get pregnant.”

The needle Jimin was using to patch up Jungkook’s shirt, pierced his skin and he gasped. His mate was in front of him in a second and he pulled the finger to him, before licking the small wound. Jimin couldn’t breath and his whole body was frozen. What did Jungkook just say? Well, alphas could take more than one mates if needed, in their pack there were few alphas that had a families like that, the pack alpha could take concubines too but Jimin never expected to hear the council asking Jungkook to do that. If something inside him told that it might happen one day, he thought Jungkook would reject it in a second.

“Alpha..”

Jungkook looked at him with a broken look. His eyes looked so sad, so hurt and tired. The sweet smell of maple syrup tasted so rotten in the air matched with Jimin’s honey smell getting bitter. He cupped Jimin’s face when the omega’s eyes were filling with tears.

“I know baby I know.. I don’t want to. I never wanted to share my love or body with anyone else. I-“

“Why didn’t you say no?” Jungkook sighed.

“I did. I was so mad and I yelled at them..” Jimin released a breath that he didn’t even know he was holding. His alpha fought for him and it made him feel a little better.

“-but they asked the reason. Told me that we should get our bodies checked to see our fertility and you know I did that before I took the pack alpha title. I’m fine Jimin and that leaves….”

“No!”

Jimin shook his head. That can’t be the reason. He is a good omega, a kind person. He had never hurt anyone so how can moon goddess punish him with infertility? No. That can’t be. He wanted to be a good pack omega, the best mate to his alpha but- No. that can’t be it.

“That- That can’t be!”

“That’s why I told them that you have a fear. That there’s a fear you have, not being a good mother and it scares you so you aren’t ready.”

“But I’m not- I’m not scared-“

“I know but with your heats suddenly getting irregular- I thought that might be- You must be- I can’t let them check your body and find about you baby. They will laugh at you. Look down at you and hurt you so I lied. Then they asked me to take a concubine who can give me pups.. I- I don’t know baby.. I said no and left the meeting. I’m so scared Jimin. I’m scared.”

Jungkook kneeled and hugged Jimin to his body, hiding his face in Jimin’s belly, he started crying. Jimin’s lips trembled. He still couldn’t believe that can’t have pups, but also he knew that he was the reason. They had tried almost every day since winters, Jungkook was fine, his ruts were fine so it was him. He can’t give his mate a family, he can’t make his alpha happy. He was a failure as an omega, as the head omega- the mother of the pack. He hid his face in Jungkook’s hair and sobbed along with him.

I’m sorry..

I’m sorry for failing you alpha.

I’m sorry for putting you through this.

* * *

Jimin was gloomy and moody. He knew Jungkook could see it properly. It’s been a few days after the talk and they didn’t bring it up again. Instead Jungkook hugged Jimin to sleep, scented him thoroughly and kissed him with love. But he didn’t know that the omega was beating himself up with every touch because he was failing his mate.

“Alpha..” Jungkook lifted his head from the dinner with a hum. He cupped Jimin’s hand on the table and started caressing it softly, waiting for Jimin to say something. He saw how the omega wasn’t even looking at him, had his eyes on the food instead.

“Baby what’s it..” Jungkook asked softly.

“I think you should take a concubine.”

The chopsticks Jungkook was holding dropped on the table and his scent spiked. Jimin still didn’t look at him until the alpha stood up from the seat to come closer to his mate. He kneeled in front of Jimin and looked at his eyes.

“Jimin do you know what you’re talking about?” he asked after cupping Jimin’s face. The omega looked at him and surprisingly there were no tears in those eyes, his smell of bee honey wasn’t even bitter.

“I know alpha. I thought about it. You know my best friend Tae is an alpha, I asked him what would happen if you didn’t have pups. He said anyone can even challenge you to the position, is it right?”

“Omega that’s not what we should think-“

“It is. I’m failing you as your omega and I can’t do that anymore. As your mate I should know, I shouldn’t be selfish and I’m fine with it as long as you don’t mind.” Jungkook was biting his lip shaking his head. It didn’t take much time for tears to run down his handsome face and Jimin wiped them away.

“I don’t want anyone but you baby.. My alpha doesn’t want to fill anyone else with my pups..”

“Then what can we do Kookie? There are alphas with more than one omegas and you’ll be fine but if you don’t like it, then what can we do?”

Jungkook cried placing his head on Jimin’s lap because he knew there was no other way. When Jimin was about to caress his head, Jungkook stood up and pulled Jimin in to a hug, kissing his lips out of the blue. He kissed him harder crying but Jimin didn’t cry. He let Jungkook take the control and cry.

“Jimin..Baby..”

“Think about them as a heat partner.. fill them up and that’s it-“

“How are you so calm about this Jimin? How aren’t you hurt?”

“I’m happy because my omega knows we are making our alpha happy by doing this. I’m sorry but I’m happy Kookie..”

And it was the biggest fucking lie he had ever told anyone in his whole life.

* * *

Think about them as heat partners, Jimin said.

Until he found it wasn’t.

Yoon Boram was his name.

He was head healer Yoon’s second son. A male omega younger than Jungkook by 3 winters, was tall, so pretty with dark brown hair and the sweet smell of black roses. His lips were thinner than Jimin’s but the cupid bow made them look kissable and he smiled prettily. The second the council confirmed he would be the pack alpha’s concubine, what he did as the first thing was meeting Jimin in person.

He kneeled in front of Jimin and bowed the traditional way keeping his head on Jimin’s feet thanking him for trusting him enough to let him be his alpha’s second husband. If there was a part that wanted to hate this fertile man who would be bearing his mate’s pups soon, Jimin couldn’t.

Yoon Boram was so polite and innocent.

With a heavy heart, Jimin even participated their wedding ceremony. Tae and Seokjin were there holding him close. Alpha Namjoon- Seokjin’s mate, his brother Yoongi and Tae’s brother Hoseok were looking at him with pitiful eyes but he didn’t cry. Being the pack omega, he knew how to keep a poker face, how to control his scent so just like how he controlled it when he told his mate that he can take a concubine, he controlled it now too.

They shared a kiss ending the function and finally Jimin looked away.

“I promise my love. He will be bearing my pups and that would be it. You own my heart, soul and love. He will be a husband to me but you will be my only mate. Forever.”

Holding on to Jungkook’s promise, he went back home. Once he closed the door behind him and Tae, he broke down. He cried pulling Tae more and more even if he was already hugging the alpha tight. He couldn’t blame Jungkook, he couldn’t blame Boram because he himself let Jungkook do that, he controlled his scent and behaved like it wasn’t killing him. It was all on him.

But to think that Jungkook will spend a honeymoon with someone else a few feet away in the newly built cabin located in their land, Jimin couldn’t bear it.

“It hurts so much Tae.. Why? Why is moon goddess punishing me- What- what did I even do? I can’t even hunt a squirrel because I feel bad and-“

“Shh.. Don’t cry Minie.. It’s ok. He chose this to protect you and you did this to protect him. It’s even. He loves you and only you. Don’t cry..”

But Jimin cried. Imagining Jungkook kissing Boram’s lips and his naked body, pushing his cock inside him, whispering how good he made him feel, how proud he is that Boram would be bearing his pups, Jimin cried until he passed out.

* * *

Jimin opened his eyes slowly. His eyelids were so heavy after crying so much but he gasped when he felt a warm body pressed on his back. Didn’t Tae leave yesterday? But Jungkook wouldn’t like to see another alpha sleeping on their nest.

Their nest…

Jimin forgot that Jungkook had another nest now.

He turned on the bed and widened his eyes to see his mate sleeping next to him, hugging his waist to his body.

Jimin felt scared. His omega was whining inside him because Jungkook can’t be here. If he is, then that means he came here after fucking his new husband and Jimin didn’t want to be held after that, his omega didn’t want to, so he pushed himself away until Jungkook stirred in his sleep, waking up.

“Good morning baby..”

His voice was hoarse just like other days but Jimin couldn’t have it. He also didn’t want to disappoint his mate by showing him how sad he was but he couldn’t stop but ask.

“What are you doing here?”

Jungkook opened his eyes and sat on the bed with widened eyes. they somehow looked hurt.

“What do you mean what I’m doing here? This is my nest too. My home and where else would I be?”

“Did you come here after sleeping with him? It was your honeymoon and-“

“Baby look at me. Take a deep breath and tell me if you smell him on me.”

Jungkook was cupping his face, a clear hurt visible on his face. Jimin gulped hard before sniffing the air and it really smelled like bitter honey and maple syrup only. There was no black roses but-

“But it was your- His and-“

“I showed him the cabin and greeted his family then after that I left. I left to see if the premises we had the function was cleaned and came to you. Jimin he is also my husband but he is just a concubine. There was no need for a honeymoon. I might sound rude from his side but I don’t love him. I came to you. I saw Tae hyung already leaving and he looked like wrecked. The moment I entered I wanted to wake you up but you looked tired so I scented you and hugged you too sleep. Why am I here? Because This! This is my home. You’re my home!”

Jimin didn’t cry. He didn’t cry because there was no tears left, because there was a warmth spreading on his body, because the sadness and insecurities were lifting when Jungkook leaned in to kiss him softly. Because Jungkook’s scent of arousal hit him and made him realize that Jungkook still wanted him even if he couldn’t get pregnant.

They made love.

With each thrust, Jungkook kept apologizing for the decision he had to take. He kissed Jimin with affection and promises of love and care. He whispered how much he meant to him and how that would never be changed. Jimin threw his head back moaning when Jungkook knotted him, forgetting that even if Jungkook was with him now, soon he would get Boram impregnate being intimate with him just like this.

* * *

Boram was a sweet person.

He smiled at Jimin and bowed him until his head touched his own knees, that made Jimin pull up the younger. Even if he was married to Jungkook now, he never tried to use his status to intimidate anyone. He also told him that he was so happy that Jungkook spent their honeymoon night where he should be, in his home, in his mate’s arms.

Still Jungkook was his husband and Jimin didn’t know how he was bearing his husband leaving him alone in their wedding night.

Jimin felt guilt and sad so he apologized to the younger.

“Oh no no head omega. Please it’s ok. To be honest, I had an affair before I married head alpha so it’s all good. I need some time to get over with it too so it’s ok. I didn’t feel sad..” that was something new, Jimin tilted his head.

“So.. Were you forced to marry Jungkook-“

“No no! We broke up of course.. I mean.. Way before the council selected me but I- You know our inner omegas head omega. I’m- I still-“

“You’re still not over of him?” the younger nodded. The guilt Jimin was feeling was lifted away and he smiled. He started continuing with his work, smiling and greeting the pack members not knowing Jungkook was looking with a smile how his two husbands were getting along.

* * *

It’s been two full moons to Jungkook’s second marriage and he still hasn’t spent his night with Boram. Jimin didn’t want to know, but he asked Jungkook if everything was ok with them because now or later, he has to spent time with him, accept him as his husband. While kissing Jimin’s scent gland, the alpha said that they talk and take things slow, reassuring him that his love for Jimin would never change.

Jimin believed him.

It was a day Jimin was helping the omegas in the kitchen when he heard it. He wasn’t eavesdropping, the other two omegas were just too loud and oblivious that their pack omega was just behind the wooden door.

“You saw? Really?”

“Well.. Aren’t they married? Its’ normal that head alpha took him to the flower field.. What’s there to be surprised?” Jimin was about to enter the store room and that word alone, froze him. So Jungkook took Boram to the flower field? It was good, they should spend some time before the council ask if Boram is bearing but the flower field-

“Flower field is a sacred place in our pack Miho.. It’s the first spring and I thought head alpha would take head omega there. At least I thought head omega would be the first one he would take.”

“You know how alphas are. Horny stupid assholes and I respect our head alpha, of course but Boram is a fresh meat to his life. While head omega is there in his life since forever, he is new and it must be exciting. Also he is younger.” the person sighed. “But I feel bad for head omega. He’s still his mate you know..”

“Don’t worry. Head omega knows what he did. I’m sure and he is strong..”

The conversation died down.

Jimin knew that he should be scolding the omegas for talking bad about his mate behind his back, for comparing him to other assholes of alphas but his heart was breaking, his legs were shaking and lips were trembling. Even if he knew this day would come that they get closer, it still hurt but he couldn’t do anything because the omegas were right, he brought this up himself by agreeing to it.

But fuck it hurt.

My alpha took him first to the flower field.

That night Jungkook had a new smile on his face when he took the dinner with Jimin, when he came to bed with him too but he still hugged him to the sleep. Instead of feeling reassured it killed Jimin because this way, he couldn’t get away from all the smells of new blooming flowers that came from Jungkook.

The next day Jimin waited, the next to next day and days after.

But Jungkook didn’t take him to the flower field.

* * *

“Are you ok Minie?”

“Minie..?”

“MINIE!”

“Huh what?”

“Are you ok, I asked.”

Tae.

Tae was taking him to the river to wash their clothes. He was zoning out without even him knowing. It wasn’t the first time the alpha fetched him to the river. He did it every time his mate was busy but today was different.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” he said started washing Jungkook’s last tunic.

“Are you sure? Minie you knew this day would come-“

“I’m fine Tae!”

He wasn’t.

Today Jungkook came back home early, around 10 in the morning making Jimin surprise. He hadn’t finished cooking the lunch and he knew Jungkook doesn’t eat this early. So he turned towards his mate and asked if he was hungry, if he was fine.

“Ah.. Borammie is going in to his heat baby. This is it.”

Borammie

Borammie

Not just Boram but Borammie

How much time did you spend with him to call him that?

“Ok.” Jimin said instead. Jungkook looked at him with concerned eyes. When he was about to step towards him Jimin spoke.

“I understand Kookie. Finally it’s happening. I wish you can get him pregnant-“

“Baby-“

“Take some used clothes with you. I collected them to take to wash, they’re in the bin. He will need them to make the nest-“ his words were stopped when Jungkook pulled him in to a bone crushing hug. His heart was breaking but he hugged the alpha back, closing his eyes to stop his tears.

“Thank you for understanding baby. I will be back soon after it’s over ok? Tae will look after you while I’m gone. I love you.”

“Don’t worry about me alpha. take care..”

And Jungkook was gone.

It was when Jimin collapsed on his legs and clutched his heart trying to take breath through his burning throat. It was hard, he couldn’t breathe, his omega was trembling in a dark corner and his mating mark was aching. Still he couldn’t do anything.

What made him more hurt wasn’t the fact that Jungkook spending Boram’s heat with him but it was the way he called him by a nickname, it was the fact he took him to the flower filed instead of him.

If Jimin reassured himself that Jungkook only loved him, he was his only mate and when getting Boram pregnant, he would just fuck him and go, now he felt scared. Jungkook cared. His alpha cared for his concubine. He wouldn’t just fuck someone else who wasn’t him but he will make love to him, call him Borammie, make him feel loved and good and Jimin couldn’t hold the pain.

“Minie please.. Minie breath ok? Minie..” Tae hugged Jimin tight when the omega broke down again, finally letting the dam of tears break.

* * *

Jimin barely heard the knock on the door. It had been five days since Jungkook was gone. Even if he wanted to just stay inside mopping, he went out. The pack alpha wasn’t there so he took his duties in to his hands more and worked with his pack members. So after a long day when he came to an empty house and had to sleep all alone for the first time in his life after mating, he was getting exhausted the next day.

He didn’t hear the knock for the third time.

When he did, he looked out from the window. It was so early so Jimin wasn’t sure who it was. Jungkook could come inside if it was him, not like they had locked doors but Jimin didn’t expect him to be with him now. Alphas get overprotective once they mated so Jungkook wouldn’t come.

But it surprised him when he saw his mate standing in front of the door with a single red rose. He lifted his eyes and looked at his mate to see Jungkook shining, glowing and smiling at him but the second he saw dark circles in around his mate’s eyes, his smile dropped.

“Baby are you ok? Jiminie..”

“Why- I didn’t think you’d come so fast.” Jimin said turning on his heal to walk away after opening the door. “Come. I need to sleep more.”

But he was stopped when he was pulled in to a hug by Jungkook. His big arms were wrapped around his waist and he was keeping his chin on Jimin’s petite shoulder.

“Wanted to surprise. I couldn’t wait to see you omega. I missed you..”

How is that possible? How can he miss him when he was- Jimin didn’t want to think about that when that reached him– the strong smell of black rose was mixed with maple syrup. He knew he was being rude, he knew Jungkook was doing what he had to but he couldn’t hold it.

Jimin pushed Jungkook away and ran in to their bath room to throw up the little food he had in his stomach.

Tears of fear, frustration, loneliness and sadness were rolling down and he emptied to the toilet. Even after that, he was dry heaving when he felt Jungkook sitting beside him holding a wet towel.

“What’s wrong? Why are you- Baby–“

“Please leave. Leave me..” he couldn’t breathe. His whole body was aching and his omega was weeping inside him. Their alpha came after claiming another omega smelling like him. He had knotted him, he filled him up with pups.

My pups..

My cum..

That should be mine..

“Jimin-“

“I can’t breathe with his scent and smell of sex on you. My omega can’t. Leave!”

Jimin was throwing up again. It was water he was emptying and he felt Jungkook freezing. Jimin knew he was being selfish but there was a limit he could fight his omega. If his human side could bear, his omega was kicking it because he was bounded to the alpha by their mating bond. So for his omega, Jungkook’s alpha was cheating. It was hurting.

Jungkook stood up muttering an apology before walking away from the toilet, away from the bathroom, away from him.

Jungkook could just come after washing away the scent because he knew Jimin was his mate, that this would hurt him but he didn’t.

Did the alpha want the smell to cling to him?

Was he proud of it?

Jimin couldn’t breathe.

* * *

Jungkook was all over him.

He kept apologizing for being careless and kissed Jimin’s nape. He helped him with all the work and even washed the clothes with him in the river while their pack members were looking with shocked eyes. Alphas never did work like that but Jungkook wasn’t going to give up on his mate.

“I’m sorry..”

Jungkook lifted his head when Jimin said. Jimin was wet with the water and he looked so small. The alpha widened his eyes.

“For what?”

“For being like that. I should be understanding but I was overreacting. I should have made you some food and help you with a bath because I– I know how exhausting that must have been. I should have checked up on him–“

“Jimin no. Look at me..” again. The alpha had his face cupped with warmth. Jimin looked at him.

“I should have been careful because for me, I have two husbands but for you there’s only me you have. I’m sorry and you’re perfect. You don’t have to do anything. I ate with him before I came home even if it was so early in the morning. And I asked his father to check up on him so don’t be sad ok?”

Jungkook was so stupid.

Jimin was feeling hurt. His omega felt scared of being abandoned, of not being able to give his mate pups, he was feeling lonely and insecure so hearing that Jungkook spent more time with Boram even after the heat didn’t help him.

Did you come because you felt guilty about me?

Did you want to spend more time with him but had to reassure me?

Is that it?

Jimin looked away with a small nod, taking his last shirt to wash.

He tried his best to smile after coming home until he heard a soft knock on the door. When he was about to check the door, Jungkook signaled that he could do it and took steps forward. Jimin’s heart raced to see Boram standing there, head hanging low. He wouldn’t feel sad if the other omega wasn’t completely covered in hickeys all over his neck and exposed shoulder.

Was it Boram in the heat or Jungkook?

Because the marks looked prominent, animalistic and it was clear that they were placed to claim him. There was not just lust showing from the marks but something intimate was there. Jimin’s heart broke and he tried not to give his attention on the way Jungkook spoke to him.

“Borammie.. Hey. What’s wrong?”

The way he talks to him is so soft.

“Alpha I came to let know about something..”

Boram calls my alpha as alpha.

“What? Is there a problem? Are you hurt or do you want to go somewhere with me? Maybe have a walk–“

My mate cares.

He cares so much.

And have a walk?

“No no. Omega is fine and there’s something else alpha..”

Omega; he called himself.

“Yes omega. What’s it?”

Stop! Don’t call him omega.

He’s just your husband.

I’m your mate. I should be your omega.

“Alpha.. I’m– I’m expecting.”

Noise

“Omega what? Oh moon goddess! Are you.. Pregnant with my pups?”

More white noises.

“Appa confirmed and I ran all over here to let you know. Yes I am– uuhh!”

Blurred vision.

Jimin was so unlucky that he still could see through his blurred vision. He should have been blind before seeing Jungkook lifting the other omega up twirling in happiness. Giggles from the omega filled their home and his mate was laughing. His mate got another omega pregnant and they were smiling in happiness in his watch.

He was so fucking unlucky because before Jimin turned around he saw Jungkook leaving a peck on Boram’s belly before putting him on his feet, kissing his lips.

Jimin saw white.

So without making a sound he dragged his feet out and ran away.

He ran away as fast as he can. He ran away until he was deep in the forest. He kept running until his bare feet started burning on the rough ground. He kept running until his omega said it was fine, that he was fine.

The moment he stopped, his legs gave up and he cried.

He snapped back to the reality when he was being shaken by his mate.

Fuck!

He wasn’t running. He was still in their kitchen frozen to the floor without being able to lift his limbs. Everything was real except him running away. Why was it just an imagination? Why couldn’t he fucking run?

“Jiminie baby you hear me? We are pregnant baby. You, me Borammie.. We can have a family soon.”

Jungkook was hugging him. Jimin was happy, of course but it hurt all over. These hands had lifted another omega. The lips which were pressed on the top of his head had marked someone, maybe sucked his hole and–

Stop thinking Jimin!

Stop!

The way Jungkook still said ‘we’ made him feel a little reassured that he will be fine. His alpha was having what he couldn’t give but he still referred about it as theirs so it’s ok.

He was fine.

He will be.

* * *

Until he was not.

Life hated him, didn’t it? Moon goddess hated him, didn’t she? That’s what he thought when he saw Jungkook came home that day.

Jungkook always came home to have the dinner together. he still did but he was late for the dinner. He asked Jimin to have it alone if he was late so Jimin did but he still stayed up until his mate came home. It was late at night when he came home and Jimin never asked what the reason was. As the pack alpha he had duties to do and he had another omega to take care.

Jimin understood.

But that day, Jungkook came home around their bed time with swollen lips and a hickey on his jaw. The smell of black roses was still lingering around him.

Jungkook had been kissing Boram, maybe making love to him. it’s ok, they are husbands too.

Jimin understood.

The next few days had been even worse.

Whenever he wasn’t around, he heard how the pack started talking about Jungkook and Boram. How Jungkook would take him to the river, spend the night with him stargazing in the shore or picking flowers for him. How he would smile whenever someone mention about Boram, how they started seeing them as “The couple”

Jimin still understood.

It wasn’t him and Jungkook anymore but he still understood.

Because Jungkook still came home. He held him tight until he fell asleep and he kissed his head with so much love. He whispered how beautiful and amazing Jimin is so it was fine. everything was fine.

Then he woke up to a lone bed.

Jungkook might have woken up early. Maybe he went for hunting. Thinking, Jimin touched the space next to him with a smile imagining his mate there. His heart dropped and lips started trembling when he felt how cold the space was. It was like Jungkook wasn’t even sleeping even a bit. But he could swear that he went to bed with Jungkook with the alpha’s arms around him so what– Jungkook came home for the lunch like everything was fine but Jimin didn’t understand.

He tried to forget it until it kept happening.

Except for a few days he woke up like that.

More than half moons of a full moon, he woke up like that.

It was until one day he woke up early with a sudden hunger. The sun still hasn’t risen and Jimin’s body shivered when he spotted the empty space next to him. That’s when he realized that Jungkook was gone. It can’t be that he was gone early for work, it’s still the dawn. He had an idea in his head but he pushed it away because his belly was begging some food so he walked to the kitchen to fill his mug with some milk.

He was gulping it down when he saw that.

The cabin which was a little far away from theirs, Boram’s cabin. The door was opened and Jungkook stepped outside. Half of the view was covered by the opened door but Jimin knew what the alpha was leaning in for.

He was kissing Boram.

The mug was dropped on the floor and it shattered in to pieces. Jimin couldn’t hold the nausea came up through his throat. He ran towards the bathroom and threw up the little milk he was drinking until he was dry heaving. His feet was cut by the glasses and he was happy for that.

So he could forget the pain in his heart.

The pain of Jungkook pretending like he was sleeping with him but leaving soon after for his other husband. For Another omega.

Jimin passed out just like that.

* * *

He opened his eyes to see his brother holding his hand, scenting his scent gland on the wrist.

“Hyung-“

“Break the bond and come home Jimin”

Jimin’s bottom lip wobbled and tears rolled down his eyes. So it was his brother found him, not Jungkook? His brother carried him to the bed, bandaged his feet and was comforting him sitting on a stool beside his nest. Their nest. Jimin wanted to fight his words but he felt it.

The fading bond.

“The room doesn’t even smell like him. What the hell? How long have you been facing this? Is he ignoring you? You know what? Fuck him. If he wanted this, he could have broken the bond and mate Yoon Boram, except leaving you in the dark!” how much did his bother know, Jimin didn’t know. Yoongi harshly wiped a drop of tears away from his own eyes before turning back to Jimin.

“You were sulking since weeks. You are losing weight and you always look exhausted. I came here to talk with Jungkook about some duties and came early because now, he comes to duty earlier. What did I see? Him coming out from his concubine’s cabin. It’s fine. He has the right and then.. You had passed out Jimin! This place doesn’t even smell like him and then I knew. Did he come from his cabin every single day he came earlier? What the fuck? That’s almost everyday Jimin! I’m not stupid. Tell me! tell me–“

“I will talk to him.”

Jimin sounded so broken. If Yoongi was a second away from using his alpha voice, he stopped. More tears were wetting his eyes which were filling for his brother. Jimin didn’t deny anything. How much did his brother go through?

“Jimin–“

“Boram has his pup growing inside him hyung. He must feel- feel so protective-“

“That doesn’t mean he can ignore you completely!”

“I-“

“Break the fucking bond. Stop hurting alone dongsaeng. Please omega. I love you Jimin, eomma and appa love you. We will take care of you.. I can’t-“

It was when they heard the front door being opened. Jimin’s heart was beating faster because he knew those steps. He always knew. Yoongi gritted his teeth and about to stand up with a fist when Jimin held him, shaking his head. Yoongi would like to smack some senses in to the young alpha but he was still an outsider.

“Babe I’m home- Huh? Jiminah!”

They heard the alpha’s panicked voice. He must have seen the blood and shattered glasses. Yoongi sighed heavily and kissed Jimin’s forehead before standing up. He left a minute later and Jimin heard muffled voices of a small conversation until the door opened, his alpha barging in to the room.

“Fuck! Jiminah what- I saw blood and- Oh goddess your feet! Jiminie what happened-“

“Do you love me Jungkook?”

The alpha stilled. He was holding Jimin’s feet and he lifted his eyes from the small feet to Jimin’s eyes. Jimin looked wrecked, not in a good way and Jungkook’s lips parted.

“Baby what are you asking?” Jungkook came towards Jimin and sat on the bed, pulling Jimin in to a hug. The omega gave in without a protest. He was tired but the warmth, the clean smell of maple syrup made him feel wanted. He wished there was honey mixed with it but it was ok, at least black roses wasn’t there. Jimin’s small hands wrapped around the alpha’s waist and he was crying.

“Jimin why– Don’t cry baby. Of course I love you.. It’s only you. Always you.” Jimin hugged Jungkook more crying. He was scared of Jungkook leaving him again.

“But– But you don’t stay with me. It’s- It’s always him-“

“Jiminie he knows it too. As wrong as it sounds, he knows I only love you so don’t say that.” how was that possible? No one will spend that amount of time with someone they don’t care, don’t love.

“You- You don’t even sleep here anymore. You- I wake up alone. Almost every day. I saw you leaving his cabin but it’s ok. But– but why every day? Why pretending like you sleep here and leave at midnight?” he was sobbing, wanting Jungkook gone but also close. Jungkook pushed him a little and looked at him. there was a hurt look on his face.

“Because I want to see you sleep. I want to make sure you’re safe baby. I don’t– Please don’t doubt it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m doing this but my alpha is restless knowing our pup is alone. The pup makes me go to him baby.”

“We don’t even make love anymore. Alpha- Are you disappointed in me? I’m sorry but why- You don’t even kiss me on the lips anymore-“

“The bond I have with the pup, doesn’t let me Jiminah. It doesn’t let me touch someone else! I don’t know what to do but it doesn’t-“

“Someone else? But I’m your only mate Jungkook! Doesn’t your alpha know it? Feel my pain? Or wait–“ Suddenly Jimin straightened his back. his lips parted in shock.

“–Or did you mate him? Is that it? Is our bond weakening that you don’t want me anymore?”

“Jimin. Do you think it was easier for me to get someone filled with my pups who isn’t my mate? My love? It was so hard–“

“Was? It isn’t hard anymore? So.. So you can care about him but– Not me?”

Jungkook stared at him for a few minutes. Jimin wanted to know the answers. He wanted to know if they had mated, breaking the promise Jungkook made to him. He wanted to know if Jungkook feel their bond as nothing. He wanted to know if caring for Boram was easier than loving him.

Thousands of answers Jungkook should be giving,

Instead the alpha just stood up and walked away.

Chapter Text

Jimin found that Jungkook hadn’t mated Boram.

Still he cried trying to stand up until he smelled Tae. The alpha was there again, comforting him. It was him said Jimin that Jungkook and Boram hadn’t mated.

How ironic that Jimin had to know from others about his own mate.

Hoseok, the beta was cleaning the mess of blood and shattered glasses when they stepped in to the living room. Tae sat on the couch, Pulling Jimin in to a hug until Hoseok prepared something for the omega to eat. With Tae’s comforting familiar smell, Jimin ate the food slowly.

It was ironic how he had to find comfort in another alpha who wasn’t his mate.

He wondered if Jungkook went back to Boram.

“Please think about what Yoongi hyung said Minie. You’re hurting. This can’t be happening. Ok?” Jimin nodded. He wanted to argue but he was tired. He opened his mouth to say something when the front door opened, Jungkook entering.

Hoseok looked away from the alpha and walked away bumping their shoulders together. Was that why the alpha was growling under his breath? Jimin didn’t know. His omega curled up to himself making him hide away from his own mate, inside his friend’s arms.

“I’ll leave now Minie-“

“Please don’t. Tae please..”

“I’m sorry Minie but he’s still your alpha and I don’t want to make him even mad. Think about what hyung said and I won’t leave you. Ok?”

Tae released his hand from Jimin and stepped away without even glancing at their pack alpha who looked at him with a glare. What did Tae mean by ‘even mad’? Why was Jungkook mad? Jimin didn’t know and he didn’t want to hear. He curled up on the couch and looked away from Jungkook.

The alpha stepped towards him and took a seat besides his mate. Jimin still didn’t look at him but breathed hard when Jungkook turned him towards him. He was tired to fight and he hated how much he missed his mate’s warmth, touches and smell. Tears were filling in his eyes when Jungkook slowly wrapped him in an embrace.

“I’m fucked up. It’s so hard for me Jiminie but what I did was.. So unfair for you. I’m sorry. I will do better. I can’t not go to him–“

“I never– I never asked you to..” Jungkook sighed.

“I know. I was an asshole. I will do better baby. I’m so sorry. I love you so much”

When Jungkook pulled himself apart, Jimin hugged him tighter but the alpha promised that he wouldn’t go. He just kneeled in front of the omega and unwrapped the bandage. There was nothing but sadness in those eyes, little something close to regret too. The omega wanted to push Jungkook away but he couldn’t. He closed his eyes when Jungkook started licking his feet, sealing the wounds with healing saliva. Mates had that power to heal each other but now, Jimin felt like he was so far away. His wounds were already healing but his heart wasn’t even close.

Jungkook spent the whole day hugging him close. The omega slept hugging his mate to his body. He was ready to wake up alone the next day but instead, he opened his eyes to Jungkook looking at him with sad eyes. He hugged Jimin again whispering apologies through the soft hair.

It was gonna be ok.

Everything will be fine.

* * *

And full moons had passed.

Jimin looked at the omega who was sitting beside him talking about how beautiful the weather was. The autumn was cold but the falling leaves were pretty, that’s what he said. But Jimin’s eyes were on the round belly he was holding. Jimin found Boram prettier than the autumn.

He was so full, round and looked even softer, happier and glowing. He was friendly with Jimin, respected him so much and went on walks with him. If he found him this beautiful, Jimin knew how Jungkook must be feeling.

So he didn’t blame for Jungkook’s absence from his life.

Past full moons were better. Jungkook spent the lunch with him and went to Boram for the dinner. He spent half of the nights of a full moon with Boram and the other half with Jimin. He let Jimin know beforehand if he didn’t come at nights. The alpha went on walks with Boram and spared time for Jimin too so it was getting better. Jimin was thankful for that.

At least that’s what he told himself.

Jungkook didn’t go on walks with him but stayed at home together. They didn’t star gaze but just slept on the nights they spent together. He kissed Jimin softly but when he tried to go far, they stopped. First it was Jungkook stopped himself and then Jimin did. Why would he let Jungkook touch him if he felt like he had to do it, not that he wanted to do it?

Jungkook didn’t back hug him when he was cooking, simply because he wasn’t home. He said that he had to take Boram to the healer but the healer was Boram’s father, also it’s not like he had to get checked up every day. He didn’t help Jimin in work at home anymore, instead he helped Boram apparently because his huge belly wasn’t letting him do anything.

If Jimin saw Jungkook back hugging the omega sitting under an oak tree near the lake, caressing his belly while Jimin went to wash their clothes in the cold autumn, he didn’t ask about it.

But it was fine.

Jimin wasn’t smelling like Jungkook anymore. It was barely there for a few minutes after Jungkook scented him. He felt like his omega was rejecting the alpha and he couldn’t blame him because even if Jungkook said he will try his best, it felt like Jimin was making him do everything he did. Like he was forcefully keeping Jungkook to himself, the thought alone never made his omega feel better.

So his smell of honey was also didn’t get stronger anymore.

Why should he smell good if his mate doesn’t want him?

Maybe that’s why the couple didn’t smell him. Maybe that’s why they didn’t separate or tried to hide behind a bush or anything when Jimin went for picking herbs. The moment he saw what was happening, Jimin hid behind a tree, clutching his heart under his shirt and then peeked from the tree to have a look at the couple.

His eyes widened and lips parted.

On the ground, behind a pile of fallen leaves was Boram laying on his back while an alpha– Jimin can’t remember the name, was kissing him hungrily.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. His heart felt a pain for Jungkook because his alpha was clearly being cheated on. Boram wasn’t pushing the alpha away. Instead he took the alpha’s hand and placed it on his own breast making the alpha grip it softly. Boram was even moaning. Was this the alpha Boram was talking about? His ex? How long had it been  happening? How could Boram let another alpha touch him when he was married and bearing the pack alpha’s pup?

He had to let Jungkook know.

That was what his omega was telling him, that he had to hurry, so Jimin started running towards the pack. He knew Jungkook was having a meeting in the council room so he went there. He was panting when he went to the room and thankfully the meeting was over, leaving Namjoon their brother in law and Jungkook alone.

“Head omega Jeon.. Are you ok?” Jimin was about to collapse on his legs with his strength being used but before that alpha Namjoon caught him in his hands. Jungkook stepped towards him and pulled Jimin out from the alpha and held him by his shoulders.

“Deep breath omega. What’s the matter? Are you ok?”

Jimin tried not to think about the lack of the warmth in those words, he craved to be called by baby but it wasn’t important now. He looked at Namjoon with pleading eyes until the alpha got the message. He bowed to the couple and left the cabin, closing the door behind him. Then Jungkook looked at Jimin.

“Jimin what-“

“Boram- Boram-“

“What? What’s wrong with him? Is he ok? Hurt? My pup- how’s my pup?” It’s ok. The way Jungkook was gripping him tightly was ok. It hurt, the grip hurt him but it was ok. Jungkook was just scared for the pup.

“Is fine but he- Alpha you should go to the lake. Just run straight from the nursery and-“

“Can you be faster Jimin?” Jungkook was gritting his teeth. Suddenly Jimin didn’t know if it was even ok to tell him what he saw but he couldn’t hold back. Jungkook had to know.

“He is kissing an alpha in the forest. I’m sorry alpha. I saw him-“

“No! No! No way!”

“Alpha-“

“NO!”

Soon after he said that Jungkook let Jimin go and ran out from the cabin. Jimin knew Jungkook was going to see if it was true but he was fast, pushed Jimin away when he started running, making Jimin stumble backwards but it was ok. Jungkook had to know, at least find out the truth behind what Boram was doing. 

Still something scary was there in his heart when he picked up his basket and went back home.

Please Boram..

My alpha cares for you.

He loves you and your pup.

He loves you two more than his mate.

Don’t hurt him. Don’t hurt my alpha.

Jimin was pacing up and down waiting for Jungkook to come home. He took a glance at Boram’s cabin from the window but saw nothing. While waiting for the alpha, massaging his own feet, he didn’t know until he fell asleep.

He was sleeping only to be pulled up by someone and Jimin gasped. It took him a second come back from his hazy, sleepy state and once he saw a very angry Jungkook holding him with a tight grip, he whined.

“Jungkookah.. Kookie–“

“Kissing another alpha? My omega was kissing another alpha you said omega?” tears filled in Jimin’s eyes not from the harsh grip but from the way Jungkook called Boram.

My omega?

“I should have thought twice who would be brave enough to kiss pack alpha’s omega.”

“Kookie.. Alpha you’re hurting me..”

Pack alpha’s omega?

It’s me.

It’s me!

“He was washing our clothes when I went there! There was no fucking alpha with him or not even someone else’s scent but mine! Why did you lie Jimin? Why?”

Jimin knew he wasn’t lying. He clearly saw them, he even heard his moans.

Wait–

Their clothes? When did Boram start washing Jungkook’s clothes? Why would he be washing them instead of asking someone’s help when he was so pregnant? If not– if not they were so personal. If not, they were covered in Boram’s slick or Jungkook’s cum.

They were having sex. Weren’t they? They really were. Jungkook even said the other omega was covered in his scent while he was losing his own scent too. If Jungkook didn’t love Boram then why would–

“Answer me Jimin! Did you want me to dump him? Were you fucking jealous because you couldn’t get pregnant and satisfy your alpha? Couldn’t keep him to yourself? Fucking hell!”

This time if there wasn’t the couch behind him, Jimin would have fallen on his back on the floor when Jungkook pushed him away. His heart was breaking. His alpha pushed him away. His mate didn’t believe him. He told from his own mouth that he couldn’t satisfy him. He accused him that he was jealous.

He made him remind that he can’t get pregnant.

Jimin slid down the couch to the floor when his omega started trembling inside him. He felt unworthy, useless and hurt. Jungkook wouldn’t love him anymore. He was thinking that he lied and he..

I can’t get pregnant

I can’t satisfy him

I couldn’t keep him and it’s all my fault.

The pain was too much to bear. Jungkook left the door opened and Jimin saw how the alpha turned towards where Boram’s cabin was. He was breaking, the cold wind was filling the home but he couldn’t even get up to close the door. Hugging his knees to his body Jimin collapsed on the floor, tears rolling down his blank eyes.

All he felt was pain, pain and pain.

That’s exactly how Jungkook found him a few hours later.

It was the night and Jimin saw the alpha’s figure entering the house. The door was closed after Jungkook calling for him, asking why the house was so cold, why he couldn’t close the door until he found his mate curling up to himself staring at the wall.

“Oh my– Jimin.. Jimin baby talk to me.” he pulled Jimin easily. The omega was like a dead body. He wasn’t reacting but let Jungkook carry him to their nest. He didn’t feel anything. Nothing at all but pain. Pain of being hurt, rejected and being a useless mate. He didn’t even smell good anymore so why was Jungkook holding him tight? Why was he nuzzling in to his scent gland when he didn’t smell sweet anymore? Why was he scenting him if he is so useless?

Why was the alpha crying?

Jimin felt nothing but pain.

Even after being scented and getting covered in his alpha’s comforting pheromones, even after Jimin came back from his haze, he didn’t say anything. Jungkook kept apologizing for his words, crying in to his neck, leaving small kisses but he knew all the apologies meant nothing. They didn’t have a meaning. Not anymore.

So Jimin just stayed staring at the wooden ceiling not bringing back what he saw in the forest. Jungkook didn’t believe him, he also knew he didn’t love him anymore. He felt like Jungkook stayed because he had to, because he couldn’t dispose Jimin. The omega felt how weak their bond is, he felt how his heart was breaking over and over and over. He knew if he said what he saw again, Jungkook would grip him again, shake him and laugh at his infertility, their weakened bond.

He knew Jungkook wouldn’t think twice to throw him away.

That scared him.

So Jimin didn’t say a single word but kept staring at the ceiling.

He stayed still the whole night.

Even when Jungkook begged him to say something or at least sleep, he just stayed still.

* * *

It took him many more moons to talk with Jungkook normally. He knew the alpha hadn’t told Boram what he said when the younger bowed at him like always and even if he knew he wasn’t at wrong, it made Jimin feel like shit.

Jungkook was more careful with him.

He hugged him more, kissed him more and stayed with him more. Apologized more but again, Jimin knew they were all lies.

He confirmed it when Jungkook came home and closed the door with a growl to the sweet scent of honey in the air. Jungkook had been spending last two days with Boram and Jimin didn’t want to disturb them because he knew that at the end it would be him getting hurt. So there was no way he could tell the alpha about his upcoming heat.

Until the alpha witnessed it himself.

“Baby.. You?”

“I’m in– Pre heat.” It was the worst timing because they hadn’t been intimate for full moons, Jimin didn’t remember the last time they made love but he couldn’t not tell Jungkook.

“Pre heat? When is the–“

“Tomorrow should be it. Today is.. is the third day of my pre heat. Alpha help me– I’m already in pain.” He saw how Jungkook was biting his lip looking away, how he was fidgeting and how his scent got bitter in the air. No! Jungkook wasn’t going to reject him. They were mates. Jimin hadn’t spent even one heat or rut alone after mating because mated wolves can’t do that without going through immense of pain and which mate would abandon their mate in such a pain when they can have each other to themselves?

No! not anyone.

Not Jungkook!

“Boram is giving birth tomorrow Jimin. I have to go. I have to be there–“

“No! No no no no no no! Don’t abandon me!”

It didn’t take much time for tears to spill out from his eyes it’s like he had tears in the corner of his eyes ready to start their work because of the train of pain he had to go through. His omega started howling when his body started trembling in fear of being rejected again, being abandoned by his mate when he is vulnerable the most, when he needs his alpha the most.

“He is so scared Jimin. It’s my pup and–‘

“I’m scared too. I’m hurt too and– I’m your mate. He has his appa. I have no one. Alpha.. My mate please..” Jimin crawled on the floor towards his mate and hugged his legs crying like a pathetic omega he is but what could he do? He felt so scared. There was nothing left in his heart to break.

Jungkook crouched on the floor and hugged Jimin whispering his useless apologies. He said that he can’t stay, that Jimin had to understand, that Boram needs him more and he has to leave.

Jungkook ignored how much Jimin wanted him.

He ignored his mate’s begs, cries.

After taking some things he needed, he kissed Jimin’s forehead and left the omega sobbing on the cold floor all alone.

* * *

When he had his fingers buried inside his hole and nose taking breaths from Jungkook’s used shirt, it happened.

His mind ran back in time to where he was loved.

It was right on their honeymoon night.

His husband was kissing him softly like he was afraid that Jimin would break, like he was made of glass. It’s not like they haven’t kissed before. They went far enough for a blowjob too but still it was their wedding night, the first night they were exploring each other and because there were feelings involved, it felt like everything.

That night, Jungkook blew Jimin for the first time until the omega came down his mouth. Jimin was shuddering, hugging Jungkook tight kissing the alpha’s neck he always loved. Jungkook was whispering how much he loved him when he was prepping him. The entering felt like the alpha finally entered Jimin’s life completely to never go back. With each soft thrust, with each moan and groan, with each word of love and drop of sweat, they got closer to mate. The moment Jungkook sank his teeth in Jimin’s neck, making him his forever, he promised to love Jimin unconditionally. There was a promise forever.

And now…

There was no forever, no love and no Jungkook.

He was aching all over.

There was nothing in Jimin but pain.

He knew he should have asked someone’s help because his body felt like burning. His omega was overpowering in the heat, sobbing after being abandoned by their alpha but how embarrassing would that be to ask someone’s help when he had a mate. So Jimin endured. If before he understood why Jungkook always chose Boram over him, now he didn’t.

Because finally his omega was understanding that this time, they didn’t fail their alpha, but their alpha failed them too.

Maybe if he was healthy, if he could give him pups he would have stayed but then..

Was it just the pup? or was it just that he was undesirable and unwanted?

* * *

His heat lasted for god knows low long and finally it was over.

He didn’t remember. There was no one to feed him or give him water when he had breaks. There was no one to count days for him except the tears and pain that killed him. There was the prominent smell of his scent engulfed with his mate’s smell in the air. He hated how that smell comforted him, his omega hated it. Jimin was still feeling hazy when he slumped back on the wet, dirty bed thinking. Dried cum and slick was all over him but he didn’t care. This time he didn’t stop or wiped the tears that rolled down.

He was thinking about what his hyung said.

Jungkook showed him that he was nothing to him over and over. Never in his life Jimin thought he would have to share Jungkook’s love. Yes, he agreed with the council’s idea even if he didn’t like it, he just thought Jungkook wouldn’t change. He tried his best to accept that his alpha was sleeping with someone else, hugging and loving him and making love. He tried to accept the fact that Jungkook was showing the flower field only to that person. He was ignoring how the pack replaced him from Jungkook’s omega with that person. He was fine with Jungkook spending his time with him more, choosing him over him again and again.

Jimin had passed his breaking point.

He just tried to stay connected even after that, which was useless.

Jimin couldn’t have anymore. He might be a useless omega to the society, a useless mate to Jungkook but he wasn’t ready to accept that he was a useless person. His parents loved him, his brother loved him, his best friends and even the pack members loved him so that can’t be.

But he knew that if he stayed with Jungkook any longer, he would be going completely insane.

He needed to break the bond.

He needed to leave Jungkook.

As scary and painful as it sounded, it would be less painful.

He needed it like he needed fresh air.

Jimin was deep in his thoughts that he didn’t hear someone coming inside the room.

His omega was alerted and made him wake up completely and Jimin covered his body with the comforter and was ready to pounce at whoever it was, until his eyes widened to see none other than his mate coming with a tray filled with food and water.

The view alone, hurt Jimin.

The alpha looked at him and smiled keeping the tray on the nightstand to take a seat beside Jimin. The omega couldn’t believe his eyes. He was staring at the man when he was talking.

“Hey.. How are you feeling?”

The moment Jungkook lifted his hand to touch Jimin’s wet, reddened cheeks with his knuckles, Jimin flinched away.

Suddenly he couldn’t breathe. All he wanted was the threat to go away. He was shivering, scared of his vulnerability. Scared of getting hurt. His omega was seeing the alpha as a threat. He was scared of his own mate.

Jungkook was looking at him with widened eyes that filled with nothing but hurt.

“Jimin–“

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry please– Don’t hurt me.”

“Baby I’m not going to hurt you–“

“You are the only one to hurt me. The only one I’m scared of. I’ll die! Leave! Leave please–“

“Jimin baby please..” Jungkook touched Jimin’s shoulder to turn him around to take a look at his face but the omega was crawling away from him, hiding under the comforter. He was trembling like a leaf making himself hide in the corner of the bed. He covered his body completely with the dirty comforter, shuddering under it, scared of his mate.

Jungkook was crying.

Jimin heard that loud and clear. Jungkook was talking through his tears.

“I’m so so sorry baby. I- I should be the one protecting you but here I am, being the only one to hurt you. I know you won’t believe my empty words anymore but I regret it baby. Alpha is sorry..”

Who’s alpha?

Whose alpha?

Jimin wanted to ask but he couldn’t. Instead he let the tiredness take him over under the bed sheet.

Next time when he woke up everything was clean.

The bed sheets have changed. The pillow covers were replaced and he was wearing a set of his own clean clothes. He should feel better but instead he gritted his teeth. He wasn’t in his post heat anymore. He was completely him, the him who was rejected and hurt by his mate.

They say metal become stronger when hitting harder.

Jimin looked at Jungkook’s sleeping figure on the chair they had in their room before gulping down the glass of water which was placed on the nightstand.

“Did you touch me?”

Jungkook startled and opened his eyes wiping them to see his mate had awakened. He smiled and was about to approach Jimin.

“Why did you touch me? Why are you here?” his mate looked sad. He was looking at his feet before gripping his own thigh under his palm.

“The pup wasn’t mine. I left the second I knew it.” Jimin’s lips parted and his heart stopped beating. What was Jungkook even saying. The pup– Boram’s pup wasn’t his?

“You were right baby. It was someone else’s. I was fooled. I was– I was an idiot I–“

“What?”

He saw how the alpha took a deep breath. Jimin wanted to make Jungkook leave but also he wanted to know what he just meant. He was Jungkook’s mate, maybe Jungkook forgot him but he didn’t. He knows the gesture, he knew Jungkook wanted to speak so he let him.

“Boram gave birth to an alpha, a daughter. I went inside the second I heard the pups’ sounds and they let me have her to bond with her inner wolf but- but something was off. The pup should be relaxing once she got closer to my heart but instead, she kept crying. My alpha was getting restless, the whole room went silent..” Jungkook took s breath, he still had his averted from Jimin. 

“She smelled different and it didn’t take much time for me to realize that- The pup’s alpha was someone else. It made me see red, I almost went feral and I might have killed Boram if there wasn’t my hyung to stop me.” suddenly Jimin’s mind ran to the day where he saw Boram kissing an alpha. That day he never expected the pup to be his but now–

“Boram was scared. He was protective of the pup and saw how mad I was. Without even thinking about his condition, he begged me not to kill the pup, he apologized and said it was all set by his appa- the head healer Yoon. Apparently Yoon sent Boram’s name to the council as a potential concubine for me and some council members helped him get approved. They planned this all so they could get higher status in the pack as my husband’s family, to produce a future pack alpha one day and own the name..”

“How- but the pup-“

“They made alpha Joo get Boram pregnant. The day I went to- went to spend  Boram’s heat with him.. that was the day they did it” Yeah, Jungkook really spent his heat with him but abandoned his mate when it was his. A hurt was flashing in Jimin’s face but now wasn’t the time.

“I know you might be thinking how that’s possible. Boram’s heat had already hit him when I went, I think he already spent it with him when I went. Maybe alpha Joo used scent blockers so I didn’t know.” Jimin was biting his lip tight. He still couldn’t forget that Jungkook spent the heat with Boram, that he had to use his fingers instead. He was looking away when he asked the rest.

“Why doing that? Why letting them do that when they- they knew one day you would find..”

“Because healer Yoon knew I am infertile.”

The omega snapped his head and looked at his mate with a shocked expression. His eyebrows knitted together and jaw dropped. Scent was spiking and his omega finally woke up to give his attention on the alpha. Jungkook was making himself smaller looking away from him and Jimin wanted to know what he meant.

“What?”

“You are- You are perfectly fine Jimin. I- I was the unhealthy one. I am infertile and they knew it from the day I got checked up. They kept it hidden. Used it to have me. Healer Yoon thought I would never find about the pup because as an infertile wolf, I shouldn’t be able to smell new born pups but as the pack alpha, I had gotten the ability so I knew it-“

“So you’re telling me.. All this year I was beating up myself when I was.. I was- I’m fine?” Jungkook nodded.

Jimin’s lips trembled and he covered his mouth with his hand to cover his muffles. His omega was tilting his head looking at him asking if it was true, if he was truly fine, if he wasn’t useless like he was thinking. Jungkook lifted his head when Jimin’s cries was dropped on his ears and he stood up walking to the omega on shaky legs. He sat on the corner of the bed and was staring at Jimin with hurtful eyes.

“I am fine. When you– when you blamed me for being jealous. For not being able to satisfy you– When I was throwing up with disgust about myself– I was healthy..”

“I’m sorry Jimin. My baby I’m sorry–“

“NO! Stop it!”

He was weak.

Jimin was so weak but he couldn’t do it anymore. What else a mated omega can go through except being abandoned by his own mate? No. Jimin was taking breath after breath when his omega stood up snarling at the alpha so Jimin looked at his mate.

He couldn’t do it anymore.

“You said you’re here because the pup wasn’t– yours. Would you be here at all if it was?”

Jungkook’s lips parted. He tried to say something but no words came out except the tears that wet his face.

“Thought so..”

“No baby.. I planned to–“

“You wouldn’t Jungkook. That’s the truth. You would stay with the pup and it’s fine. You would use the pup as an excuse to have walks with Boram, go for star gazing and to read books with him. Pick flowers only for him because he was your pup’s mother! You would never come back home. If I asked about that, you will say I should have gotten pregnant if I wanted to keep you!” Jimin’s voice was loud and clear. His small weak body was trembling but he screamed it clearly because his omega was finally fighting for themselves. And that made Jimin strong.

He saw Jungkook shivering shaking his head like a maniac.

Tears were renewing.

“That’s not true.. Baby I’m not here just because it– it wasn’t my pup. I was planning to come soon after she was born. I swear I did. Jimin I came home on the second day to your heat after letting Namjoon hyung handle about Yoons and the betrayers in the council. I was here feeding you, I helped you through the heat. Maybe you don’t remember but the room smells like us, right? I swear I was here all this–“

Jimin stopped breathing. His omega could only remember his mate abandoning him so maybe he didn’t even sense the alpha but it was true. Only a few used clothes can’t make the room smell this strong.

So the images ran through his mind of getting kissed by Jungkook were not just memories?

And Jimin saw red.

“So you’re telling me, while I was vulnerable and hazy, you claimed me with your cock which fucked another omega– goddess knows how many times? You didn’t even touch me in full moons and you– You did that?” this time Jimin’s voice broke and he was hiccupping. He was shivering and Jungkook quickly shook his head.

“No no baby.. I didn’t. I just stayed helping you kissing, scenting and encouraging. I– I didn’t fuck you not because I didn’t want to but because we couldn’t talk about it–“

“We couldn’t talk because you freaking left me! I was kneeling, begging and you left me without even looking twice at me. You planned to come? Stop fucking lying because if you did, you could have told me, scent me and reassure me. You didn’t plan to come! You planned to stay with them! Make love to him after making the pup sleep because your alpha respects your pup's mother! Right? You planned to stay while I was dying here!”

“No! Please stop putting words in my mouth..”

“Why did you help me? Why not just leave me like you always–“

“Because you’re my mate!”

Jimin threw his head back laughing like a maniac, like an evil. Tears were still rolling down his face. He pushed his hair back and laughed more and more until it changed in to a sob. He covered his face with his palm crying until he wiped his tears away.

“Now you remembered that I’m your mate?”

The word slipped the most hurtful way possible. He saw how Jungkook flinched. How he shook his head, how he wanted to touch him but stopped himself, how he was crying and started rubbing his palms together, begging.

Jimin was hurt. The way alpha was practically begging him muttering apologies, it hurt him because this was his mate. His only alpha, his first and forever love and seeing him hurt was hurting him more. His omega was howling in sadness. He wasn’t thankful for Jungkook helping through his heat, instead he was hurt because he and Jimin’s human side was on the same page that Jungkook wouldn’t have come if he wasn’t fooled.

Then Jimin thought about the nights he was fooled.

Jungkook fooled him pretending to stay the night with him only to leave, he fooled the pack in to thinking he came from his own home so no one would tell Jimin anything, he thought about how Jungkook was showing Boram off while they only spent time inside the four walls of their home.

Jungkook was ashamed of him.

Jungkook was abandoning him.

Jungkook wasn’t in love with him so Jimin said it loud and clear.

“I want to break the bond.”

The alpha stilled. His jaw dropped. Scent turned in to regret, fear and pain and he scooted closer to Jimin. He didn’t hear it right? Or was he dreaming?

“Ba- Baby you don’t- You don’t mean it. Jimin–“

“I do. I want to break the bond and leave.”

“Is it because I’m- I’m infertile–“

“Didn’t you hear what I just told Jungkook? Or did you ignore everything like you were ignoring me all this long? I don’t fucking care about anything else as long as I have you but now, I’m more than hurt and I can’t bear anymore. Goddess I will die!”

“Jimin please.. Baby don’t do this. I’m sorry. I will do best. I’m sorry–“

“Your apologies are just empty words alpha..”

Jimin lifted his eyes to look at Jungkook and Jungkook was a crying mess. The room was filled in nothing but sadness, pain. It was hurting, Jimin was still hurting all over when he lifted Jungkook’s face to look straight at his eyes. The alpha was about to hold his hand but Jimin withdrew it fast.

“The pack was laughing at me, how you took your fresh meat to the flower field instead of me and I waited.. I waited until you asked me too but you didn’t. After spending his heat with him, you came reeking him knowing well I’m your mate, that my omega can’t have it. I saw you– I saw you leaving his cabin in the morning when I was alone shivering in the bed thinking where you– who came to the bed with me– went. You were lying, pretending and that’s how my feet hurt. I saw you kissing him in the dawn and dropped my mug because I was panicking. Even when I was asking if you can’t love me like you care for him, you left me alone until my best friend came..”

The omega wiped his tears off. His alpha had his eyes widened. Did he not know that he knew everything? That he was hurting alone all this long? Or did he not care?

“We didn’t hold hands anymore, you didn’t kiss me and the last time we made love was around a winter ago you know? No. How would you know? You wouldn’t have remembered because it was me left alone. You had him…”

“I was washing our clothes in the freezing river all alone when I saw you making him sit on your lap, caressing his belly, back hugging him smiling but I understand it. The pup made you do that, right? I heard that you were picking flowers for him, went star gazing with him, that you blushed when someone said his name and those days, everyone forgot I existed because you forgot me…”

“Baby no..”

“That’s what I don’t understand alpha. Those actions, you calling him your omega.. Your possessive marks on him, you sleeping with him almost everyday until I broke down and you were bounded to stay with me. The pup wasn’t yours Jungkook! There’s no way a bond had formed between you and the pup, which means your alpha didn’t feel protective or attracted towards Boram because of the pup! That leaves with one thing Jungkook. You were lying! All this long you were in love with him!”

“–and you know what.. If he hadn’t fooled you, there’s no use of me when your pup, your body, your protection, your heart and love.. Everything was owned by him. You would have thrown me away sooner or later.”

“Jimin no! Never!”

“And that’s why I can’t hold this pain. Because I wasn’t loved anymore and I can’t.. I can’t alpha. I really can’t or I will die..”

Jungkook rushed forward and broke down on Jimin’s lap, nuzzling in to the soft tummy. It made Jimin shiver in the most uncomfortable way but he let him.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry.. But I never stopped loving you my love.. Give me another chance.. I beg you please..”

Through the tears, feeling the ribs through Jimin’s sweater, finally feeling how much weight he had lost, Jungkook cried. Jimin was clenching his jaw tight, not letting the dam of cries break but ran his fingers through Jungkook’s soft hair. If Boram wasn’t cheating, Jungkook would have never been with him, never chosen him, never cared for him. When he just said that just a second ago, Jungkook didn’t even deny it so without saying anything, the omega stayed caressing his mate’s hair letting him cry on his lap.

He let him one last time.

And then, Jimin was gone.

Chapter Text

“How are you feeling?”

“Shut up Tae. Do you think he feels like heaven now?”

Jimin smiled in little when Yoongi said throwing a pillow at Tae. The younger alpha groaned showing his tongue to the elder alpha, pulling Jimin in to his sides watching the firepit.

“Maybe not now but Jiminie will feel heaven soon. Once the bond is broken, it’s gonna be ok.” Hoseok said but Jimin just chuckled.

“Is it really? I truly don’t think so..”  Jimin said taking a breath.

He knew it wasn’t that easy.

Jimin left Jungkook just a full moon ago right after their last encounter which was filled with tears. Jungkook kneeled, begging and begging, asking Jimin to give him another chance but he just packed a small bundle and left. His parents welcomed him with teary eyes, he stayed with them a week and shifted in with Yoongi in to his cabin. Having his alpha brother’s scent around him made him feel better.

Jungkook’s parents had visited Jimin’s parents and had begged for forgiveness. They didn’t ask Jimin to come back, just let the omega take his decision on his own but apologized for everything the omega had to go through. It wasn’t their fault, Jungkook was a grown wolf and it was all on him so Jimin’s parents forgave them.

After that Jimin took his decision.

He visited the new head healer Seohyun, who was a young female beta and a closer friend with Yoongi. She was appointed after Jungkook had banished Yoon’s family and Boram’s alpha along with whoever helped through their plan for destroying the peace in the pack and being greedy for higher ranks. Pack alpha, Jungkook made sure to tattoo mark them with the Jeon pack’s logo with a crossed mark so that everyone would know they were banished. Some said Jungkook even added wolfsbane in to the ink he used to tattoo them but no one knew if it was true. It was the winter already so the pack agreed that it was the best punishment for them. Still he was kind enough to let them take some blankets for the pup.

The day Jimin met Seohyun, his brother was there with him. The omega let her know that he wanted to break the bond with Jungkook. Once he broke it, their bond will be one sided until Jungkook remove his mark too. If Jungkook didn’t break it, he would have to through all the pain alone but Jimin tried to push the thought away. Everyone in the pack found what was happening. They all loved their pack omega so much and they couldn’t be more agree with him leaving the alpha because all of them witnessed how he was dying every day when the alpha was  by Boram’s side. So when he said that, no questions were asked and Seohyun said that she can start preparing the medicine for it. 

Even though he saw a hesitation in Seohyun’s eyes.

“It will be a painful procedure head omega Jeo– I mean Jiminah..  Never forget the herbs I give you for that, Ok?” she said hiding her face from Jimin. She really didn’t want to hurt him by mentioning Jungkook but ever since she worked as a healer, she had seen Jimin as the head omega more than as her friend’s brother.

They will have to wound Jimin’s mark and an alpha or a beta from Jimin’s family will have to suck the blood away from it and spit it away– which Yoongi promised to do. Then they will have to close it with herbs and take herbal tea and other medicine to keep the pain under control. They will also have to stop his heats for a while because if the omega side empowered when the breaking procedure was happening, it would hurt him more.

“After wounding, it will take around 2 full moons for the bond to be broken completely..” Jimin fake smiled when Seohyun said.

“I don’t think so noona.. Our bond has already weakened since a long time.” he replied making her eyes fill with concern.

But even now, Jimin didn’t agree with Hoseok’s saying that he would be fine. He knew even if the bond was broken, it wouldn’t be fine because it wasn’t just his omega was in love with the head alpha. It was just him.

He wasn’t sure if he would ever stop loving him.

* * *

Tae took a seat beside his best friend and stopped him when he tried to hide the small piece of cloth. He gritted his teeth but it wasn’t in anger.

“That’s.. Jungkook’s handkerchief. Right?” he asked softly. Jimin nodded in tiny. He was happy that it wasn’t his bother caught him. The alpha had nothing but anger towards the head alpha.

“You sneaked it in your bag when you left. Is his scent still there?” the omega lifted his head to look at his friend. He was pouting like a small pup.

“Why don’t you blame me like hyung? Aren’t you mad?”

“I’m worried that you’re still hurting yourself. Seohyun noona said your scent was faded because your omega thought Jungkook didn’t need you, she said it will come back soon but it’s been almost three full moons Jiminie and your scent is still faded. Because you don’t have your alpha with you, because you have no reason to smell good, because your omega is still yearning for him.”

“I– Tae I don’t know. Now I feel so much better but I miss him. Please don’t be mad at me–“

“I’m not mad at  you Minie because I understand. You are still mated, you never stopped loving..” Jimin sighed and hid the handkerchief under the mattress of his bed. He pulled his legs in to his chest and leaned against the wall biting his bottom lip.

“How– How is he?”

Finally he asked.

Jimin wanted to see him. He wanted to see if Jungkook was happy after he was gone from his life. Did he eat properly? Did he miss him? Did his parents tell him about his decision of breaking the bond? Will Jungkook remove his mark too? If not, will it hurt him when the bond was just one sided? Maybe he already broke it from his side?

“He’s gone insane Minie..” Jimin snapped back to the reality.

“What.. What do you mean?”

“He just works, goes on patrolling and does duties then goes home, I guess. Others haven’t seen him outside of duties but he always looks so tired, sad and he smells so fucking ugly. He had lost weight too.”

“Hmm.. Maybe he is missing Boram. Maybe he is hurt by being fooled by the person he loved..” it hurt. It hurt Jimin to think how much Jungkook cared for the other omega, to hear he was losing himself over him while he was still mated to him–

“To be honest Minie.. as an alpha I understand what he might have felt about the situation. He married someone he doesn’t love or know after his mate agreeing with it. Maybe he even felt that you didn’t care that he married again–“

“Tae that’s not–“

“You said you held back the change of your scent and emotions so maybe he felt it but it wasn’t your fault. I also understand what he felt when he was committed to two of you. He had to share his time, love, care and then that bastard was pregnant. Even if there wasn’t a bond formed, he might have felt protective, responsible.”

“What are you trying to say Tae? That it’s my fault?”

“No. I still and I will never forgive him for treating you like that. That was not an excuse to completely leave you but I want you to know that what he felt towards you, must be stronger for him to weep over you like this”

He didn’t want to admit how his heart skipped a beat. Jimin and Tae was attached from the hips since the day he met him in the woods with Seokjin as pups. With time, their friendship grew closer more than his friendship with Seokjin when his father stopped taking them to the pack alpha’s house. And in all these years, Tae had never lied or hurt him. Ever.

“Weep.. over me?”

“He gets drunk every weekend.” The alpha sighed and there was a smell of hesitation around him but then he continued when Jimin looked at him, asking to continue with his eyes.

“One day I met Seokjin hyung and he was finding Jungkook to give him some herbs or something, and some others were helping him until they found him passed out after getting drunk, in the abandoned stable. I went there the next weekend to get some hay for the farm and he was there again. You know what I saw when I went?” Jimin’s heart was beating faster when he shook his head.

“Jungkook clutching the first mating pouch he made for you, crying to it asking why you didn’t give him a chance to explain, why you at least didn’t take the pouch with you, if he didn’t mean nothing at all. I was waiting looking at him and he– he was telling stories to the pouch about his day, nightmares he saw. He apologized for everything he did because apparently, it’s because of his infertility all this happened. He cries on the same stable that you two sneaked in to kiss for the first time. I thought maybe it’s an act but no. Jungkook never saw me nor I let him smell me, not even Seokjin hyung knew he goes there, no one saw or heard him there. I could guess maybe he goes there– because only I knew that place is special for you two. If it’s an act he could choose somewhere open, except freezing in that old stable- drunken, so no.  He doesn’t miss Boram. He misses you. ”

Jimin didn’t even know when he started crying silently. His omega was looking at him confused. He felt sad about the alpha, he wanted Jungkook to feel the pain he went through, also he wanted him to be happy but he didn’t know anymore. What Tae said made him feel bad but he still wouldn’t change his decision and crawl back to the alpha like nothing happened. So he wiped his tears away standing up.

“I will make you some tea.”

Then he busied himself in the kitchen pushing Tae’s words away.

* * *

Winter was already hitting the pack. The alphas were so busy hunting while the omegas busied themselves collecting yams, fruits and the last bit of vegetable. The betas made sure the cabins were safe and ready to face the upcoming storm. Yoongi was gone hunting and Jimin had started working in the nursery a few moons ago so he was busy too.

The omega who was working with him said that he can leave now as his time was over, he smiled at her and was about to leave when she bowed at him because apparently he was still the head omega.

Jimin left with a heavy heart because he hated being treated like that anymore. The omega couldn’t wait for his next heat. It will be painful too as he was still mated without his alpha by his side but he went through it once and it shouldn’t be that hard now. He tried to forget Jungkook saying that he was there helping him. He met Seohyun and asked when he will get his bond broken and she told that it would be better to do it once his next heat is over so they know he wouldn’t run in to a heat during the procedure.

Once it’s done, the pack will stop bowing to him.

He was thinking, pulling the furry jacket to himself walking towards his brother’s cabin when he felt it.

Someone was looking at him and the feeling made him still in the middle of the path. There was an ugly feeling when he looked around to find the culprit and the moment his eyes met with him who was standing far away from him, he knew that. He knew that he shouldn’t have cared about the feeling of being watched, he shouldn’t have stopped and tried to find who it was, he should have just walked away.

A few cabins away from him, standing and looking at him was Jungkook.

Even from this far, Jimin saw how wrecked he looked. His eyes were swollen, eye bags and dark circles were prominent on his once smooth face. Cheekbones were showing and his face was sunken. The alpha was staring at him without looking away. If his look hurt Jimin, then he bethought how he looked the exact same when he was at their home left all alone, ignored by the alpha.

Taking a deep breath, Jimin averted his eyes and walked away.

Once he was home, he had to take more breaths but he wasn’t crying. Not anymore.

* * *

Jimin was not a lazy omega.

He always woke up early but after leaving Jungkook, he took time to get healed. The first step was waking up late. His shift was always around the evening so it was a plus one but that day, he woke up earlier to the sound of his brother cursing. Rubbing the sleepiness away from his eyes, Jimin stepped out from the small guest room he was using as his bed room to see Yoongi pacing up and down looking at something like a parcel. His brother was a hot tempered one so Jimin was giggling when he approached the man.

“What got you grumpy this early hyung-“ and that’s when it his him. Yoongi looked at him like he was lost. The omega’s eyes lifted to the parcel that was completely drowned with the strong smell of maple syrup.

Maple syrup.

His scent.

Jimin’s heart was racing when he pointed at the parcel asking “Is that- Him..”

“I’m getting tired of this shit Jiminah!” even though Yoongi said Jimin didn’t understand what he meant. About what shit was he talking? Yoongi sighed before rubbing his face with a groan.

“This fucker.. Is he courting you or something? He’s been leaving shit on my porch covered with his scent. Flowers, small gifts, bands.. he had scented everything and of course I got rid of them but this.. It’s a chunk of fresh meat. It’s the winter and I’m not an idiot to throw some food away so do something about it Jimi–“

“He- He left gifts and.. You got- got rid of them?” that question made the both of them surprise. Yoongi’s jaw dropped and Jimin widened his eyes. He took a step back startled when the alpha walked towards him to hold him by his shoulders.

“Don’t tell me you’re thinking about going back to him Jimin. He hurt you and how can we be sure that he won’t do that again?”

“I know.. It’s just his scent and my omega- I won’t hyung. I really don’t want to go back to him.”

And Jimin wasn’t lying.

He let Yoongi pull him in to a hug and nuzzled on to his brother’s neck. Yoongi sighed and let Jimin scent him whispering that everything would be ok. Jimin was getting better, even if a part of him felt sad that Yoongi threw the gifts away, other part was glad. Because he knew if he saw a bouquet of flowers covered with Jungkook’s scent, it would bring back beautiful memories of their past along with painful days where he waited for the alpha to take him to the flower field.

So Jimin took it to his hands.

He woke up to see more and more food left on the porch. Once it was a fresh hare and then a boar. Then there was a huge ass deer and then yams. Jimin knew it must be so hard for the alpha to find these for him when it was snowing outside. Before his omega started preening to the attention, he reminded himself of the shit he went through.

He didn’t take anything inside. As Yoongi said, he was not going to throw some food away so instead, he let it be at the same place for hours until he was leaving around the afternoon for his duties. Then he picked up the parcel, wrapping it by a leather so he wouldn’t have to touch it and get his skin covered with his mate’s scent, then he took it the to the pack common kitchen. Every time, the main cook of the pack, Lee ahjumma would look at him with sad eyes because the omega knew it was their head alpha’s scent in the parcel but she didn’t say anything except throwing the food in the water to wash the scent away so she could cook it for the pack.

It hurt Jimin to reject the alpha’s gifts like that because they were still bounded by a bond.

However Jimin ignored it and worked happily with the pack members. When it was snowing, he took some pups outside and played with them with snow. There was a shiver running down his spine that wasn’t caused by the coldness but from that one gaze of that special person but Jimin ignored it.

He ignored it all until he saw the alpha looking at him a few feet away from him, one day when he stepped out from the common kitchen. It wasn’t new. Jungkook was staring at him a lot, never got closer but was looking at him with hurt all over his face but now, it was something that Jimin’s heart skipped in a pain.

Jungkook wasn’t looking at him but the leather he had in his hand which he used to bring the food Jungkook left at their porch to the common kitchen. It was clear that Jungkook knew what he was doing. When Jimin lifted his own eyes from where Jungkook was looking at, until he met those eyes, his heart broke.

Tears were rolling down the alpha’s eyes without a break.

And like always, Jimin turned on his heel and walked away.

He didn’t see how the alpha collapsed on his knees clutching the mating mark and his heart.

* * *

“It’s ironic how the council doesn’t pressure Jungkook for pups anymore. Everything is so unfair when it comes to omegas. Now everyone is sleeping on the issue because it’s an alpha who’s having the problem.” Hoseok groaned waiting until Seohyun and Jimin were finished. They came to get the omega checked up to know when his heat would hit. If Seohyun was right, in the end of the spring he would have his next heat. His heat was kind of irregular but Seohyun said that he doesn’t have to worry. That his body functions well and his heat will be regular soon.

She didn’t tell the reason of why Jimin had an irregular heat.

“They have reasons Hoseokie..” She said taking a step away from the omega signaling him that it was done. Jimin buttoned up his tunic nodding, when Seohyun complimented that he was slightly gaining his weight back, but still he should eat more because he was still underweight.

“Reasons?”

“Head alpha is not well so..” that made Jimin freeze. His fingers which were working on his shirt buttons trembled and he lifted his eyes to look at Hoseok.

“He- what happened to him?” Jimin asked with a soft voice and he saw how Seohyun got startled and then looked away.

What?

“He is sad and sic- No! Just sad.. so they gave him some time. Jiminie don’t worry. He is healthy. Really..“

“Ok noona if that’s it, then stop bringing up him in front of Jiminie. He has to get ready to break the bond.” Hoseok said pulling Jimin up. The healer apologized letting the two friends leave her hut.

Jimin wasn’t going to beat up for what happened. Jungkook must be sad because now he was alone. There was no Jimin, no Boram or a pup. Why couldn’t he see that before? When Jimin was waiting and waiting, when Jungkook had Boram and he had no one, why couldn’t he see him? Did the alpha realize what he went through at least now? It was still unfair because Jimin wasn’t with anyone else but when he was looking, Jungkook was in Boram’s arms.

He wasn’t alone.

And it was different.

* * *

The next time Jimin woke up, there was no food left on their porch. Jimin tried not to get hurt by that because it was for the best. He was going to break the bond and Jungkook should understand the reality too. Whenever he felt hurt, his mating mark aching, he wondered if Tae was right, if that’s the alpha’s pain he felt. He wondered if Jungkook felt him too but he brushed it off. Even if the alpha felt it then it was too late, he should have known it when he had Jimin.

The omega also tried to ignore the heavy gaze of his mate. It was like Jungkook was everywhere and he absolutely hated it. He was hurt and why Jungkook was there now? Why was he too late? Why wasn’t he there when he was sobbing in to their cold nest?

Their nest..

Jimin was closing the door to the nursery and turned around to leave but gasped to see his mate standing in front of him, close. He didn’t even smell Jungkook until he saw him, it made his omega restless and confuse. Why didn’t he smell him? Why didn’t he feel him? Why was Jungkook even there head hanging low and toes digging the floor?

Why was his heart still beating for this man?

Why was his omega hiding deep inside him?

He opened his mouth to talk, to ask why he was there and suddenly there was a lump in his throat. It’s been so long they got closer like this. Everything felt dead and cold. The coldness was too much, it was snowing and there were white drops on the alpha’s shoulder’s and wavy hear too. He wanted to brush it off, say something but he couldn’t.

“Can we talk?”

If Jimin wasn’t having his full attention on the alpha, he should have missed it. Jimin wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk but the alpha looked so small, beaten and broken. The omega bit his lip and looked away to see some pack members looking at them but averting their eyes when he looked. Even on the day Jimin left, they still hadn’t talked. There was a part of Jimin that wanted to hear from the alpha why he really ignored him. There must be a reason because they were not just mates, they were in love. Could just one presence of a new omega break it?

Jimin wanted to know, his omega wanted to know.

So he agreed.

Jimin followed Jungkook through the snow. He saw how the alpha was about to take his hand like muscle memory, but put it down and Jimin couldn’t help but be thankful. The memories of that big hand lifting Boram was still fresh in his head.

“Don’t wanna go to your place.”

He could tell through his grinding teeth, hugging himself finding warmth. Jungkook didn’t say anything but looked at him with sad eyes and nodded. It felt so wrong to call their home as alpha’s place. It felt wrong not to be hugged by the alpha and find the warmth through his skin. Everything felt wrong.

The alpha might have planned to have this chat with him from moons. Jimin understood it when they entered Seokjin and Namjoon’s cabin to find it empty. Jungkook offered him a seat after taking off his cardigan. He was looking at the omega like he wanted to say something or do something but instead he took a step back, giving Jimin his personal space. Jimin looked at his feet and took a seat on the couch and waited for the alpha to do something and the alpha asked if he should prepare something hot to drink, which Jimin declined so he sat on the same couch, leaving much space for him.

For a few seconds there was nothing, only the sound of their breath could be heard and Jimin felt how Jungkook was just staring at him. It made him shiver, his omega feeling uncomfortable so he opened his mouth.

“So-“

“I love you.”

The omega’s snapped his head to look at the alpha. Then it hit him, the bitter smell of maple syrup. Jungkook’s eyes were filled with tears, his lips chapped and skin pale like he lost all his blood. He was fidgeting with his tunic and it made the cloth roll down from his shoulder, making his mating mark visible. Jimin couldn’t breathe.

“When that day you asked if I loved you, I- I felt like I was burning inside. It was the worst day of my life. I made you doubt about my heart, about my love for you. I couldn’t be any worse-“

“And when I asked you if it was easy to love him than me, you left.”

Jimin was strong.

Since the day he was informed that the council had wanted Jungkook to take a concubine, he was being so strong. Seeing his mate marrying another omega, kissing him, leaving him to spend his heat together. He was even staying deaf to the pack talking about how they looked so happy together– he knew how to be strong. After leaving Jungkook prioritizing himself, deciding to break the bond, made him even stronger so he could ask him without stuttering, and that made the alpha fight with his bottom lip.

“I wanted air. My alpha was so restless and mad at me. I didn’t know what to do, just wanted to breath-“

“Oh so you couldn’t even breath when you were with me. Wow!”

“Stop saying that baby. You know it’s not what I meant–“

“You stop calling me that!”

Jungkook flinched to the omega’s voice raising. It kinda made Jimin widen his own eyes. He was never like this before, never tried to raise his voice at anyone. Maybe life had planned this for them, maybe this was meant to happen. He bit his lip looking away, his scent got stronger but there was nothing but a sadness.

“I’m sorry Jimin. I know you don’t trust my words anymore but I’m really sorry for being- being the worst alpha..” the omega wanted to protest but he stayed silent.

“-for hurting you over and over. I tried. I was a mess but what hurt the most is that you believed I didn’t love you anymore. That I loved that peasant instead of you, that I-“

“You chose him over me again and again Jungkook. You don’t have to say anything for anyone to understand how you felt about me..”

“That was what you thought Jiminie. What the pack saw and you assumed but no one knew what was happening for real.. What I truly felt so please.. Please hear me out. Just this once. Give me a chance.” Jimin sighed and rubbed his forehead to control the forming headache.

“I don’t think I can come back to you Jungkook. I was so hurt. I was dying and you didn’t see it, or you didn’t care so I-“

“I don’t ask you to take me back bab- Jimin. I know you won’t- You won’t change your decision and I truly wanna beg, beg you not to remove my mark, not to break the bond but I did enough damage to you. I won’t ask anything from you but let me just explain everything before I.. Before I…” For a reason Jungkook didn’t say anything after that and gulped his words. It made the omega curious. Before he what? Also he knew that there were unclear parts in their story so he let the alpha speak.

He thought Jungkook would start talking right away but instead he stood up and walked to the kitchen. Jimin waited a few minutes until his mate came back with two steaming cup of goat milk, Jimin’s favorite and a soft blanket which he offered to Jimin to cover himself from the coldness even if it was warm inside with the firepit in front of them.

And then he lifted his eyes to look at Jimin.

* * *

“The day you said that it’s ok for me to take a concubine, I felt devastated bab- I mean.. Jimin. It was a hard topic to talk about the- you know.. infertility so I waited until you said something, so we can plan something together. I thought about something too. To leave for another pack saying it was for a vacation, stay there for a while and adopt a pup, come back saying it’s ours.. Or anything. But we started talking, only for you to ask me to say yes to them. It felt like you gave up on me, like you didn’t care if I married someone else too..”

“That- That’s not true.”

“You didn’t even smell sad, you didn’t hesitate. Your eyes were clear as a summer sky and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t tell you anything, ask you to fight with me because why should I? My mate already gave up, so with whom should I fight?” tears were rolling down Jungkook’s eyes and he wiped them away harshly. Realization hit Jimin like a bucket of snow. He grinded his teeth in anger. He was angry at Jungkook, the situation and himself too. Tae’s words about the situation were renewing his memory. Did his words, him hiding his emotions put them in this situation today? Jimin clutched his heart to control the pain.

“But it’s not your fault. I know you wanted the best for me. The day to the marriage, I couldn’t even function well. My alpha was weeping inside me seeing how broke you looked. Soon after the duties, I ran to you. You looked so small. I felt like shit for everything that was happening. You were mine and I was yours so why did that happen..?”

Maybe their inner wolves couldn’t resist each other. Maybe Seohyun and Tae was right after all. Maybe Jimin’s scent didn’t get strong all this long because it was yearning his alpha. Now being here with his mate, might be the reason why his smell got stronger. He didn’t know why he couldn’t smell Jungkook before and it wasn’t that hard now.

However all he knew is the smell of maple syrup with honey was spreading.

And it was bitter, ugly, burnt.

Jimin sighed.

“You know Jungkook.. I didn’t- It hurt to share you but I didn’t mind. At least I tried to understand until you forgot me and started courting him, loving him cheating on me..”

“I never- I didn’t cheat on you Jimin because you knew we were supposed to have sex. Because-“

“I mean your love Jungkook!”

“I never loved him! I never even.. It was always you. Jimin please. Kill me, hurt me but never doubt me please..”

“You left me with nothing else but doubts alpha! Pain, loneliness, tears, insecurities and now you say- what? Don’t doubt you? Are you being serious right now? Can you at least explain yourself and win my trust again? You know what? I don’t think so.”

When Jimin stood up to turn away from Jungkook’s hurt eyes, because he wanted to gather himself, suddenly it hit him. In that second, he understood why Jungkook left him that day without answering him. He wanted to breath too, the realization and the way he yelled at Jungkook second ago on the same reason, made him feel embarrassed. He couldn’t look at Jungkook’s eyes so he turned to walk out from the cabin only to be stopped by Jungkook kneeling, hugging his legs tight to his body.

An alpha kneeling in front of an omega.

A pack alpha kneeling, begging, crying.

Just like he did the day he left their cabin, and now again.

“Please please please.. I can’t ask you not to leave me. You already left but- but here me out.”

* * *

“I will tell you everything now. Every single feeling I felt, every single thought, everything. You can shoot me questions and I will answer you. I don’t know from where to start. I knew I would feel so nervous around you so I even wrote down the points I have to explain but then, it might seem fake so I burned it.”

After sitting back, after taking a few breath and few drops of tears were wiped away, the both mates were ready to talk. Jungkook wasn’t looking at Jimin anymore which was better for his heart.

“Start from explaining why you didn’t take me to the flower field. Jungkook I waited, I waited so much until you asked me to go with you but only I saw was the beautiful smile you had after you coming back from your courting date to the-“

“The smile was for you Jiminie. Goddess! Did you think it was because I spent the day with him? Have you thinking like that all this long? It was for you! I was happy that finally I could see you after a shitty day and that was not a courting walk.” Really? Jimin was frozen, he saw Jungkook was breathing hard like he wanted a second.  

“He- I was feeling bad. We all knew what we did, I married him so he could bring my offspring, we were supposed to- to have sex but we didn’t even talk so I told him that we have to talk how things should go. I knew he wasn’t still over with his ex and that was the only relief I had. I was treating him- my husband like nothing and it was not ok…” Jimin understood that. Even he was thinking the same way when every night Jungkook came to him in the beginning of their marriage.

“When I told him that, he asked me to take him to the flower field. I was- It’s the pack’s sacred place and I refused without even thinking twice. He looked hurt and I felt bad but how could I? He wasn’t you..” the alpha was fidgeting with the corner of his old tunic. Jimin didn’t want to agree that his heart skipped a beat but it did.

“He said that we were not in a good place to start a family. We were.. We were not in to each other, he knew I didn’t even want to look at him so he said that maybe taking blesses from the field would be better. We were supposed to- have a pup so I thought that maybe he was right. I was going to take you there and take him next so it would be fine but then a hunting alpha said that there were some huge wasp hives in the field and that no one should go there. So I didn’t take you but Boram said he really wanted to go, that it was my duty as his husband to take him there apparently because we needed blesses. So I took him. We sat there and he told me about his life, how much he loves his family and all but I really can’t remember what he said. I didn’t care. When I was getting irritated, I showed him the hives and said that we have to leave and we did. I came home without knowing the pack spread words without mentioning about hives. I was smiling like stupid because finally I was with you, I could breath. But I still know I was wrong, I’m sorry..”

Jimin had his lips parted.

Thinking, it was odd how no one else seemed to visit the flower field in that spring. No one was talking about their own experiences so he knew Jungkook was telling the truth. He just didn’t see it or didn’t care to look through that no one else went there. His omega was looking at him asking if they did wrong by doubting their alpha that day.

The smile was for me..

He was forced to take him there..

“Then happened his heat.. I’m sorry if what I’m going to say will hurt you bab- Jiminie but please listen to me..”

Borammie.. The way Jungkook was calling him, the way Jungkook thanked him for understanding, Boram who stood at their door steps later, covered with hickeys was wounding him. Jimin pulled his knees to his body and rested his chin there, ready to hear out.

“You thanked me that day..”

“For understanding, for being strong enough to let your alpha go spend a heat with another omega. You are the strongest omega I know. If it was me, I would kill myself..”

Well, I was dying everyday

“So the heat.. I went there. I was hesitating because.. You might not believe me but I loved only you. I was going to touch someone who isn’t you, breed them and- My alpha was gone silent, my head was a mess and when I went there, healer Yoon’s wife, omega Yoon was there to help Boram. She gave me some tea to calm down, saying I need it if we want to get pregnant because, they knew we- we have never been intimate with each other. My plan was to- to blow off the candles– so I can’t see his face and- and help him. Then- Then..”

“Fuck him. Fill him up..”

“Never! Never I thought about fucking him. How can you- Was it easy for you to imagine I thought so less about us? No. I was going to get off to- to our memories, cover the tip of the wooden dildos with my cum and- and fuck him with that..”

There was a silence for a few minutes and Jimin turned towards his mate with widen eyes. His jaw almost touched the ground. When he said that Jungkook should take a concubine, he knew that Jungkook would have sex with that someone. It hurt but he was making up his mind, and now he was dying in guilt for never thinking from Jungkook’s side. How the alpha would feel about that, if he would be happy to get someone else pregnant and even when Jungkook had mentioned it, he brushed it off. However he never thought Jungkook wouldn’t even want to fuck Boram at all. That he was planning such a thing because Boram wasn’t him.

A warmth, a shiver and a strong feeling of guilt was eating him up.

“But that wasn’t needed you know.. When I went inside- I couldn’t even see him properly, couldn’t smell properly. I was dizzy and then- Then I- I can’t remember. I have no idea what happened. Guessed I passed out. However I woke up one day with a huge headache. My- My cock was aching, my body hurting and- and I was naked. Yoon Boram was sleeping next to me wearing my shirt and then I put everything together. I fucked him. It horrified me, the thought alone made me feel disgusted so I threw up..”

My alpha was naked with him

Boram was sleeping with my alpha

But wait..

“But you said that wasn’t needed. I don’t- Understand..”

“They gave me a tea to make me unconscious, undressed me and gave me herbs to make my body ache, rubbed Boram’s scent on me so I thought I had sex but nothing had happened. I hadn’t fucked him or he wasn’t even with me, he had spent it in a den in the forest with alpha Joo and was brought after it was over, after they gave me herbs to wear off the effect of the other tea. They faked all to show everyone that I spent his heat with him and got him pregnant. I didn’t know any of these as I was with you soon after we found about Yoons, the day he gave birth. Then you left and it was later they confessed everything. But you were gone.”

So..

But they didn’t do anything?

My alpha is pure?

Tears were rolling down Jungkook’s face and it didn’t take much time for Jimin’s eyes to follow the gesture. His heart was breaking inside. He couldn’t believe it but the alpha’s eyes didn’t shake. They were clear, his scent was clear despite of being burnt, he was saying the truth. Jimin wouldn’t really mind if Jungkook really got pregnant with Boram, it hurt but to hear that Jungkook was fooled and was played over and over, it hurt Jimin the most. He wanted to pull Jungkook in to a hug, but then he remembered the nights he woke up alone.

“Continue” his voice was colder than he expected. Maybe it was for the best.

“Yeah. Ok. I- Boram was asking if I was ok. I didn’t know anything back then and thought how innocent he was. He wasn’t wrong for not being you, for not being loved by me but there were hickeys all over him – apparently by his alpha – but I didn’t know. I felt responsible for his state. His limps, his hickeys, his possible pregnancy so I had the breakfast with him. I felt I should at least do that and then ran off to see you. I’m sorry I didn’t wash the scent before I came, my alpha wasn’t reacting since the day I entered his cabin after the tea so I didn’t feel anything about his scent on me, not even disgusted or excited. Nothing. All I wanted was to be with you so I came for you, only to make you cry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry..”

Jimin nodded. Everything fitted well with what happened but something still didn’t sit right with him.

“Then he was pregnant with his alpha’s pup..” Jimin said and Jungkook nodded. “But you still cared for him. You called him softly, you- You cared Jungkook and it doesn’t sit right..”

“Because he asked to and I was influenced to..”

Jungkook stood up and walked towards the window to look at the outside pulling his hair harshly. It was snowing more now. Jimin didn’t know if Jungkook was hiding something from him even now, if that’s why he walked away but then he turned to him when Jimin was ready to stand up too, walked to him and sat on the floor near Jimin’s legs.

Their eyes fell on each other.

“He told me a few times how his friends laughed at him that I was calling him omega Yoon. He said I should at least call him some other way, asked me to call him Borammie so I did. That was the least I could do for him as his husband. I asked him if he wants to go on a walk with me because when I met healer Yoon that day, he told maybe I’ll have to spend time with him for a few days as it was- It was his first. And yes, I called him omega too. My alpha was finally responding after I got home to you. I convinced my alpha that how we might have gotten- gotten- Boram pregnant and how we should respect him too, so yeah.. that’s why I called him omega..”

“However, I’m not gonna lie that I didn’t feel happy when he said he was filled with my offspring, that he was pregnant. I married him on this purpose so when he told me that he was expecting, I was so happy. The reaction that day.. It wasn’t fake. I was happy, I was thankful for him, for the goddess. Now I know that hurt you. I was just- My alpha was also happy. I’m so sorry baby.. I’m really so sorry that you had to witness it.”

Jimin gulped. Memories were running in his mind but he didn’t stop Jungkook from calling him baby. He didn’t push Jungkook away when he placed his head on his lap. He didn’t even flinch when Jungkook left a peck on his knees while his tears were wetting his pants. There were apologies dropping on to his skin and Jimin wiped his own tears away. He didn’t want to hurt Jungkook anymore but simply wondered how the alpha was bearing everything.

“And then..” Jungkook left another peck on Jimin’s knee and lifted his face to look at his mate. His heart broke in to pieces when he saw Jimin’s face flushed with redness and tears rolling down. If he wanted to wipe them away, he stopped himself.

“There was something wrong. Boram was pregnant with my offspring but I didn’t want him, not even my alpha wanted it. I couldn’t ask anyone about that, I thought alone what I should do. Then I thought maybe spending more time with him will help so I did. I had my evening tea at his cabin, had walks with him, I went to the lake and took him on stargazing because he said he loved it. Healer Yoon said we were doing better and a part of me was- was getting closer to Boram.” Jimin pressed his lips together but as always, he understood. His alpha was just so confused and spending more time with someone can do that.

“He kissed me, I let him. He kissed my jaw, I let him. He wanted to eat with me, I let him. There’s another reason why I let him, I’ll tell you. The more we spent time together, the more I felt my alpha dying inside me. He tried to kiss my neck and I yelled because my neck belongs to you and only you. The pack saw us together and mentioned his name around me. I smiled because only I knew how a part of me dying inside me and I couldn’t do anything but later I heard the way they thought my smile was filled with love for him when in real, it was an ironic smile..”

“–Then the real manipulation started..”

Jimin took a deep breath and pushed his thought away that screamed at him how Jungkook ignored him and why. When Jungkook said the word manipulation, he thought now was the time to get the rest revealed.

“Boram started crying, saying that he wanted me to sleep with him. That he was scared, the pup was scared. He begged me to stay the night with him and that’s when I got late to come home. Like I said, I felt bad, he was my husband, my pup’s mother and I- I liked him..” Jimin’s breath stopped until Jungkook lifted his hands in a defensive manner. “No no! Not like that- but more like my family. Not like a lover or a crush but there was something. A respect probably which I convinced myself as liking so I don’t feel bad about not having feelings for my pup’s mother..” Jimin understood. How can Jungkook doesn’t have any feeling for Boram, knowing he carried his pup, that they were married and spending time together.

“Then healer Yoon told that I should start bonding with him and the pup. That nesting together is the best solution. Later I knew he did that so the pup will see me as his alpha father which wasn’t true. I tried to tell him that I can’t leave you alone and he said not to say that in front of Boram because it could hurt him. Boram cried more, placed my hand on his belly, said the pup wanted me so I started sleeping on his nest. I wasn’t trying to lie to you when I left at night, it’s just.. I wanted to see you sleep, see if you’re safe and then- then I left. I just slept on his bed. We didn’t even touch on bed. Just slept there and that’s why he asked for a kiss whenever I left in the morning. He said he didn’t feel my affection even if we slept on the same bed so I did. I kissed his head.”

Jimin remembered how he saw Jungkook coming out from Boram’s cabin that one day, how he leaned in to the omega and made Jimin go crazy.  

“But you.. You went to duties early so no one knew you spent time with him-“

“Because I didn’t want them to talk more shit. Because I didn’t want you to know and be sad. I know it isn’t an excuse but I swear baby- I was told that I shouldn’t be with you much because we are mated, me and Boram wasn’t. Being close to you might make my alpha push Boram away and then I will ignore him completely which wasn’t good for the pup, that’s what the healer said and like an idiot I agreed. Distanced myself from you, ignored you and spent time with him. Took him on walks, made him sit on my lap because he wanted to, caressed his belly because he told I should get familiar with the pup..”

“The day I left you and came home to see Tae hyung hugging you, I saw red. I knew I was pushing you away, that’s why you were breaking and there was this alpha, your best friend, protecting you when it should be me. That’s why I never wanted to take you out when we were together. You are mine and I wanted you whole to myself, stay in the safety of our home. I went out with Boram because I didn’t care about him. Alphas get overprotective and possessive over their pregnant husbands, mostly hide them from other hungry eyes. Think why I didn’t do that with Boram, baby. Because he was no one. Even after I tried, he was still no one to me.”

“The day you told me about seeing him with an alpha, cheating on me I was- Losing myself. Did I spend my time on someone who didn’t even care about me? Did he really do that while carrying my pup? My pup.. My alpha was furious when I ran to the lake but instead he was there washing out clothes. He smiled at me asking why I was running to him. I pulled him to catch any scents but I only smelled his and my scents. My alpha got mad, really furious that you, my mate out of everyone, had lied to me trying to hurt my bond with my pup. That’s how he saw it and that’s why I was hurting you that day with- with my words, actions both. I made you break and hurt. For that day, I would never forgive myself baby. Never..”

He pushed him away, called him a infertile, useless omega that made him traumatize and freeze for the whole night and next few days. Jimin couldn’t forget it.

“What- What really had happened that day? Boram and his alpha-“

“They were there.. There were.. and- He had stolen my clothes so he could mask his alpha’s scent with mine. He wasn’t washing our clothes but faked everything.. He had always stayed with alpha Joo, had baths and masked his scent with my scent with the pillowcases I used. He had stayed with me after taking some herbs to make her omega weak so he wouldn’t push me– another alpha who wasn’t his pup’s father– away. Also I was.. my alpha was becoming weak for scents so I didn’t catch too. I- I’m sorry Jimin.”

“And oh.. your rut. Your rut hadn’t happened- Or did it? Did you hide it from me? Then you left me on my heat- Did Yoon tell you not to be with me in my heat? Or did you not want me anymore-“ Jimin’s words died down in his throat when the alpha cupped his face. It happened so fast so he couldn’t stop the alpha. He wondered if he had a chance would he be stopping– probably not. The skin on his face was tingling when Jungkook started caressing it softly.

“It didn’t happen baby. Since the day I’ve married Boram, my rut stopped. Seohyun said that maybe.. mostly, my alpha was scared that I’d have to spend it with Boram who isn’t you so no. I didn’t hide, it just- Stopped. And that day before your heat.. I was dying. My alpha was dying. He wanted nothing but to press you on the floor right then and there and fuck you. I wanted the same. To kiss every inch of your body that I missed, kiss you lips that were trembling when I said no, make you mine over and over but- He- They had advised me before.. That I shouldn’t be with you, specially in my rut or your heat- At least until the pup was born. But as soon as I stepped away, I promised myself that the second the pup was born, I would come to you. Spend your heat with you and you know.. later they confessed.. That it was them spreading words about me taking Boram to the flower field, telling everyone that we were in love and some shit. They were planning to make us apart so I- I.. I would not want you anymore and break our bond and mate him– so he can be the pack omega.”

Why?

It hurt. What had he done to deserve this? What had Jungkook done except being such an amazing pack alpha? Why they kept using them, Jimin didn’t understand but now, it hurt.

“Boram confessed how they knew I thought myself as fertile, how I would never let you get checked up so they always made me feel like it was you. They knew you had irregular heats because we took herbs for that. The council talked with us how irregular heats is the main reason for an omega to be infertile, pressured me that I should have my pup soon or the pack can be in danger and me- It was all them but I was a fool to believe them. I was scared, blinded. They were the council, the pack healer and I never- I never thought my own pack would do such a thing against me for some power, a rank. But that doesn’t justify how I treated you, how I listened to them but not you. It was all on me Jimin. Seohyun also said you got irregular heats due to your alpha’s infertility. Your omega might have known it since winters so it’s all my fault. If I was a healthy alpha, if I was smarter.. I would still have you and fuck! I’m so sorry Jimin. I really am..”

The hands were still cupping his face and Jimin’s lips wobbled. There were so many things that happened. Some greedy wolves used his alpha’s situation to fuck them up, break them apart and hurt them over and over. He also felt guilt for telling Jungkook to take a concubine. If Jungkook was at fault for the mess they were in now, he was wrong too. He made Jungkook marry Boram, he didn’t trust his alpha enough, he never talked or asked Jungkook what was happening. His mate went through a whole lot alone. He was dying too but they could die together, except they were choosing different paths, to suffer separately.

Every night Jungkook hugged him to sleep, kissed him with love and looked at him with hurt eyes– were flashing in front of Jimin. The alpha who was now holding him looked even worse. Exhausted, sad and lost.

So when his omega pushed him to pull Jungkook up on to his chest, he didn’t hesitate. Jungkook sat on the couch and hugged Jimin back, hiding his face in Jimin’s chest. Then he let his tears wet Jimin’s shirt. The omega hugged his face tighter and joined him in the crying. The whole room was filling with sadness.

“The worst thing is.. They confessed that since Boram got pregnant, they had used- used some plants in the daily tea he gave me. That it was killing my bonds and made my alpha confuse.. So I wouldn’t choose you over him. That was also the reason- why I let him use me, kiss me. It’s not that.. that I- I chose a pup that wasn’t even mine over you- I just.. I was forced not to be with my real bonded wolves. I was influenced and.. It was even.. Hurting me I just- Fuck!” The alpha was heaving under his breath, his whole body shaking.

“–I promise I- I never fucked him.. Touched or- or kissed him. He kissed me but I didn’t- Reciprocate. I love you and only you baby. I’m sorry sorry sorry.. I loved you always, I love you still and I love you- fo-forever.. I’m only yours.. Always been and will be. Forgive me- My love.. ” Jungkook was hiccupping and crying like a baby. And when Jimin tried to push him so he could look at his face, Jungkook didn’t let him. Muttering so many No’s he hugged Jimin tighter, afraid of letting go.

It was too much.

When Jimin asked Jungkook to take a concubine or forgot Jungkook’s absence from his life, he assumed things about the alpha. Never ever he thought Jungkook didn’t like it, didn’t like Boram or that there were more dark secrets hidden behind everything, that he was forced. He felt like shit. Maybe Jungkook was right.

How could he think Jungkook would treat him so low?

Think so less about them?

But also there was a part of Jimin that felt humiliated so he still wasn’t ready to accept that he was wrong too, that he also didn’t communicate well.

“I understand that.. That everything was fucked up but- You could have told me. If you told me that we can’t- can’t spend our heats or ruts together, I should have taken suppressants because I always understand you. I never- questioned when you left me alone. Maybe I should have asked but.. but I never wanted to question you..” Jimin said through his tears, still caressing Jungkook’s black locks, feeling how thin the alpha had become.

 “And I still can’t- Can’t forget how you treated me the day I told you about Boram and his alpha. You- you pushed me on the couch, called me a jealous, useless omega who can’t be a good mate. I couldn’t breath for days and I can’t forget that Jungkook..” Jimin knew it. He knew he was being unfair. Jungkook was wrong too, but more than the faults, he was innocent all this long. The way the alpha kept apologizing, hugging him was saying that Jungkook knew too, that he regret them too but he chose to poke the wound.

Being unfair..

“Sorry sorry sorry Jimin.. Baby alpha is sorry.. I love you..”

Jimin pushed Jungkook back, at least he tried. When he didn’t even budge, Jimin talked to him softly and said that he wants to look at him. this time Jungkook released his death grip on Jimin and looked at him but still didn’t let him go.

He looked exactly like the pup Jimin saw winters ago.

Small, small and so so small.

“I know. Now I know that. I know it was only me you loved..”

“Yes Jimin. Only you.”

“And guess what.. For me it’s only you too.” Jungkook had his doe eyes widened. Maybe he couldn’t believe it after everything he put Jimin through.

“Yes Jungkook.. I love you. I love you so much..”

“Baby..”

“But I can’t alpha. I can’t.”

* * *

Everything stopped around them and Jungkook slumped back on the couch. He took deep breath and looked at Jimin. There were tears in the omega’s eyes, his hands were still holding his face, cupping softly but those words.. Jungkook knew Jimin would never come back to him again and he deserved it but goddess he hoped. Jimin just said he loves him so he had hoped, he really did.

But at least you listened to me

At least you know the truth

At least you love me

Then why.. Why?

“I’m too hurt to get back to what I was before Jungkook.. How- What if someone else tried to take the position from you now they know the truth and what if they hurt me again by using you? I can’t.. My omega.. Doesn’t trust you yet Jungkook. I don’t- I don’t think I can- I love you but it hurts.. It hurts so much..”

“Wait. Wait Jimin. They won’t. They won’t because I-“

“No. We can never be sure so no. I’m sorry too but I can’t..”

Jungkook should have stopped Jimin when he wiped his tears and stood up leaving a peck on his forehead. He should have begged Jimin not to walk away. He wanted to say that he had a council gathering before he came to meet Jimin, that he stepped down from his pack alpha position and handed it over to his brother’s mate Namjoon, that all he wanted is Jimin.

That he is ready to lose everything for Jimin.

That he was always ready.

But Jimin was gone, again.

This time, forever.

Then he felt that again, his throat burning and heart aching with the familiar ugly taste. He covered his mouth with his palm when drops of blood came out between his lips with a cough. Jungkook ran towards the bathroom to throw up the blood- vomit, like always.

He should have told Jimin that the daily tea Yoon gave him with one poisonous plant, was killing him since full moons.

But did he have a right?

Do I have a right to stop you?

After everything I’ve done?

But it wasn’t me, so why?

Why?

He was hurting all over. While blood rushed out from his lips without a break, his legs gave out, eyes closed and then he saw black.

Chapter Text

When Seokjin found Jungkook passed out in their washroom, he was so scared and hurried the alpha to Seohyun with the help of his mate. There were blood dripping down his lips and the omega was a crying mess.

He saw what his brother went through, what Jimin went through and also he saw Jimin enjoying his days while Jungkook was dying.

It was unfair.

Jungkook woke up after an hour later and tried to run back to his home because Jimin might come here to the pack infirmary anytime soon. He will come to talk with Seohyun about removing his mark, he shouldn’t see Jungkook like this. It will hurt him and no! Jungkook put him through enough pain and he couldn’t do that anymore.

So he was thankful for Namjoon for piggybacking him to his house.

Once home, Jungkook cried to Jimin’s pillow thinking about his fucked up, messed up life.

He didn’t want to think about his days where Boram was in his life. It always ended up for him getting hard to breath. That shitty asshole who destroyed his life, who hurt his mate. He should have known that offering him a cup of tea almost everyday was their plan, that the taste was different but how could he? He didn’t know his second husband was just using him, his own council was making a fool out of him, his healer of his pack was plotting against him.

One thing he was happy about, was the healer never hurting his pack members.

But what’s the worth? He already hurt his life.

His Jimin.

* * *

Jungkook didn’t know where he found his strength to explain everything he felt while he was with Boram– to Jimin. Never he wanted Boram, loved him or least cared. He was bounded and forced to stay, forced to let them use him and he believed his words explained Jimin everything. He wanted to believe that the omega believed him. It took him full moons to gather himself to ask him for a talk, he tried but in the end..

Nothing worked.

In his daily dose of the tea, Yoon had used some kind of plants they found from the ocean which they believed was blessed by the dark souls in the deep ocean. The beach was so so far away from their pack so Jungkook thought, from how long they had planned it. The herb was making his alpha confuse and weakened his bonds with his blood related family, including his mother, father, brother and also mate. While Yoon and the council member’s words manipulated his brain, while Boram’s cries made his vision blurred from the truth, the plants were slowly killing his inner wolf.

That’s why he was confused around Jimin.

Once he saw him only as his husband and left him for Boram when the influence of the plant and the dark souls were high. When it wore off, Jungkook didn’t move away from Jimin. hugged him to sleep and cried alone, kissed him softly begging moon goddess to save him. But it wasn’t that easy when Jungkook’s alpha started reacting.

He started vomiting blood.

The first day it happened was two days before Boram giving birth, two days for Jimin’s heat. Maybe Jimin thought that he was spending his time with Boram but the truth is Jungkook was in the woods, hiding in a cave he found, throwing up blood without a break until his skin became pale and body went numb. He didn’t know what was wrong. Why he was sick. He was strong and powerful, he was tall and never sick and after he was informed by his own mother– that he should never be closer to  Jimin until the pup was born, it started. He didn’t think the reason was his alpha reacting to the influence of the plants, he didn’t know healer Yoon had begged his mother to ask that from him apparently because Jungkook wouldn’t still give his attention on Boram. He just didn’t know.

However the blood wouldn’t stop.

He knew he should have been asking healer Yoon for a medicine but a part of him knew that he would be advised to stay with Boram, they would say that being closer to the pup would help and Jungkook didn’t want it. Not now. All he wanted was to curl against the softness of his mate’s warmth and beg. Beg him to make Boram vanish leaving the pup in his hands. Beg him to just run away with him.

Beg him to stay close.

But he couldn’t do a thing. He didn’t want Jimin to see him in this state. Sick, pale, vulnerable and useless. Since weeks, every time the effect of the plants were worn off, Jungkook felt Jimin’s pain and it hurt him so much. While others thought he was away with Boram, he was on a run to forget the pain. He ran until his legs gave out and he didn’t feel Jimin’s pain anymore.

A coward but what could he do?

So instead of crawling back to Jimin and seeking comfort through him, he stayed in the cave until he stopped throwing up. Later, when he entered the pack village, he collapsed after all the energy was sucked out from him. It was his bad luck because the next second, some pack alphas carried him to the infirmary. Healer Yoon gave him medicine, goddess knew what. Then his alpha was gone silent again.

It was when he was informed that Boram would be giving birth the next day. The omega was there next to him in the infirmary, fake crying how much he was worried about his alpha, how much he was scared of giving birth alone and that he needed Jungkook. He ignored Yoon and someone talking how Jimin didn’t even come to see Jungkook in the infirmary, now thinking– they might have planned to say that out loud so Jungkook would hate Jimin.

How funny?

Jungkook would never hate Jimin.

But somehow, he agreed to stay with Boram through the labour. When he went home to take some things the healer asked from his cabin, he saw how Jimin was in so much pain. His heat was hitting, the alpha’s heart skipped. He wanted to kiss Jimin so much, press him down right in front of the opened door and fuck him hard letting the whole world see where his home is.

But something was wrong.

His head was spinning and his blood ran cold. Suddenly all he remembered was the pup. His mate? He can use a dildo but a pup can’t take care of himself alone, he thought. He hugged Jimin once, kissed his forehead and left.

The plant had started working.

Made him forget his own mate.

He was just standing outside when Boram was in the labour.

Frozen.

Not feeling anything.

It was until a little cry of a pup was filling the area that he felt like he woke up. His alpha stood up looking at his human side saying that their pup was here. Even if his alpha didn’t feel a bond towards the pup, after full moons of his human side trying to make him understand, after the nights of manipulation, his alpha was happy too.

Because it was his offspring.

Well.. that’s what he thought.

What happened inside the cabin was scary. They asked Jungkook to remove his tunic and hug the pup to his chest to let their inner wolves bond. The pup’s cries increased while his alpha started snarling at the weird feeling. His alpha was proud that he was happy all this long, because he knew why he didn’t have formed a bond with the pup.

Then they broke the news of his infertility and the plotting they did against him when he tried to kill Boram.

It took around an hour or two for Jungkook to release the death grip he had around the healer Yoon. His eyes turned dark and teeth were gritting. The growls and the alpha voice that came through him made everyone go numb in their knees. Everyone knew that he was so close to go feral until his father, the only one who could stand against his alpha voice, stopped him.

“Pup.. You can’t.. You can’t be an animal-“

“He hurt my mate. Hurt me- made me hurt my mate..”

Of course, of course.

Jungkook had agreed to everything that the healer and the council said because he wanted to protect the position. Because that was the only way he could keep Jimin. No matter what they tried, they can’t take him away without his words as long as he’s the pack alpha. If he knew everything would still end up like this, he would have killed himself beforehand so they wouldn’t use him, Jimin wouldn’t get hurt.

But he didn’t know.

“Jiminie is in heat, you said. If you went feral, who will be with him? Wake up Jungkook. Go to him..”

And Jungkook snapped his head at his father, animalistic eyes still looking wild. It took him a few hours to calm down. A junior pack healer gave Jungkook some medicine after he drank a bit himself to prove it was fine– which helped the alpha and once he was back in his senses, he let Namjoon handle everything and ran. He ran and ran straight to his home and took a breath once he was in their room which was covered with Jimin’s sweet smell of bee honey. Jimin was closing his eyes, crying to the dildo that he had in his ass, rutting on Jungkook’s worn out tunic.

Jungkook’s alpha woke up.

His mating mark was aching.

Everything broke when Jimin slowly lifted his head to look at him with his hand offered to him.

“Alpha.. My alpha..”

Jungkook bit his lip tight. His whole body was shaking and tears ran down his face without a break. His heart was aching and truly, he didn’t want to touch Jimin without his permission but Jimin was crying, asking him and he knew, that he was the only one to heal Jimin.

So he removed his shirt and laid next to Jimin on the bed, pulling him in to his chest. Jimin went willingly and without a second being wasted, Jimin bit Jungkook’s neck so hard that it startled and ache the alpha but he wasn’t complaining. He just let Jimin kiss him, bite him and touch his cock through the pants the way he wanted. Instead he kissed his mate’s face carefully, dropping encouraging words to fuck himself on the dildo while scenting him deeply.

When the heat was calmed, he fed Jimin fruits and water and again let Jimin use him.

Once he fell asleep Jungkook broke down.

He was hurting all over. His alpha was so weak inside him and his head was spinning. Why this had happened? Why did they do this to him? What did he do to be infertile? Did he ever make the moon goddess mad? But he never– Since the day he was born all he did was getting trained to be the pack alpha. He was an alpha but he loved the pink color doll his hyung had. He wanted to braid her hair with his hyung, he wanted to have walks with his mother and eat berries straight from the bushes but he was not just a pup. He had to train.

After he saw alpha Park’s omega son with his hyung and for the first time his alpha whispered ‘mine’, he stayed home. He woke up around 4 in the morning and trained so he could be home when the tiny omega was also there. He knew his feelings were not one sided when the omega squirmed under his gaze with his cheeks getting blushed. As a teenager, Jungkook knew that Jimin had so many eyes on him and he wanted to court the omega before someone else could snatch him away but he was too busy getting ready for his first hunting run.

He always prioritized his pack, did everything they wanted from him, sometimes left his mate whining to the coldness because he had duties.

So why?

Why the fuck you did this?

You should have asked me to give you a higher rank.

I could have make you a respected elder so you could gain the name, positions but this..

Why? Why why why?

He looked at his aching body. Blood was coming out from the bites Jimin left on him. His omega was so aggressive in this heat and Jungkook could understand. He had his alpha for himself after full moons so it was ok. When drops of tears were fallen on the broken skin, it felt soothing rather than burning. He wiped the blood away with a cloth and got on the bed. Jimin was sleeping peacefully and Jungkook laid on his body, kept his head on his chest to listen to the heartbeat he was missing. His hands tightened around the petite waist and he was crying.

I love you.

You’re my everything..

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry.

When he felt that the heat was about to end, he patched up himself so Jimin wouldn’t see his broken skin and feel bad. Then he wore one of his thick sweaters so the omega wouldn’t see the bandages through the cloth. He was ready to welcome Jimin with some food and water.

“Hey.. How are you feeling?” he asked with the softest smile and was going to touch Jimin’s face to caress the skin, to wipe the tears away but instead the omega started shivering, he flinched away from him like he saw a beast who can kill him in a glance without a second thought.

He broke in to pieces.

Jungkook was looking at him with widened eyes that filled with nothing but hurt.

“Jimin–“

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry please– Don’t hurt me.”

“Baby I’m not going to hurt you–“

“You are the only one to hurt me. The only one I’m scared of. I’ll die! Leave! Leave please–“

“Jimin baby please..”

Please don’t say that.

Please..

Jungkook sat on the bed and touched Jimin’s shoulders to tun him towards him to face him but what he got was the omega breaking through his touch and crawling backwards on the bed, away from him. He was hiding under the comforter, trembling like a leaf making himself hide in the corner of the bed. He covered his body completely with the dirty comforter, shuddering under it, scared of his mate.

Jungkook was crying.

He could understand Jimin but he was also hurting all this long. While Jimin could seek for his friends or cry alone, he couldn’t even do that because damn, as the pack alpha he had no friends. He was taught not to have friends so he didn’t have a Tae for his life. He couldn’t go to his brother because all the bonds felt weak with the poisonous tea he was fed with. He couldn’t even cry alone because he had no time and he was always being watched.

It hurt him that Jimin was behaving this way, hiding away from him.

He understood but it hurt.

“I’m so so sorry baby. I- I should be the one protecting you but here I am, being the only one to hurt you. I know you won’t believe my empty words anymore but I regret it baby. Alpha is sorry..”

Jimin didn’t respond.

The shaking stopped eventually and Jungkook wiped his tears away. He closed the gap between them and removed Jimin’s comforter. He looked wrecked, tired and small. Jungkook couldn’t leave him like that so he lifted Jimin in his arms and took him to their washroom. Jungkook could only fill a little of their tank and he used it to wash Jimin’s cum and slick away. Then he dried him and put some new clothes. He laid him on the chair in the room because the omega might get scared if he woke up away from his nest, and changed the bed sheets. After making Jimin sleep on the bed and tucking to the new comforter, Jungkook took a seat in the chair.

He pulled his hair tight, groaning. Jimin’s scared eyes, trembling figure didn’t go forgotten by the alpha. It was hurting.

The alpha was so tired. He barely took any food in Jimin’s heat, giving his full attention on his mate and feeding him, filling the tank with water in the only time Jimin slept for two hours. He was so weak after throwing up blood past days and then fighting with Yoons. Going nearly feral took his strength too. Making everything even worse, something was tickling in his throat and then he coughed blood. It was back again and Jungkook ran to the washroom to throw up. Once he was done filling their toilet with his blood and the little food he took, he came back and slumped on the chair, exhausted. He didn’t even know when the goddess of sleep, hugged him.

Maybe she whispered in his ear that she was sorry for him.

That her child deserves better. 

* * *

Once Jimin woke up, everything went downhill.

The omega was furious, he had never seen Jimin like this burning with nothing but anger but he couldn’t blame him. What made him sad was, not getting a chance to explain everything. That fuck, he had no control of what he did in past winter, that he didn’t even know his own mood swings, that he was also hurting.

Jimin started accusing things that he never even did, never even thought of, never even imagined to think of.

And it hurt.

“So you’re telling me.. All this year I was beating up myself when I was.. I was- I’m fine?” Jungkook nodded.

Jungkook wanted to kill himself because he could remember how he pushed Jimin away, called him useless and couldn’t keep him to himself. He could barely remember because it was once the influence of the plants were so high. He knew he was wrong, he knew the fucking tea had an influence because when that happened, all he thought about was his unborn pup. The bond with his mate felt weakened, non-existed. He wanted to explain it but Jimin didn’t let him.

“I’m sorry Jimin. My baby I’m sorry–“

“NO! Stop it!”

And so Jungkook stopped, his alpha submitting to his omega.

An alpha submitting to an omega.

“You said you’re here because the pup wasn’t– yours. Would you be here at all if it was?” Jungkook’s lips parted.

He tried to say that he didn’t even feel a thing when he was waiting for the pup to be born, that he couldn’t even feel himself but he almost went feral for Jimin– his mate but he knew going feral wasn’t something funny. It didn’t happen that easily and Jimin just finished his heat. His omega was still fragile, bounded to him by a mating bond and if he heard that Jungkook was going to go feral, the omega would break. So he stopped himself, no words came out except the tears that wet his face.

“Thought so..”

Fuck!

That wasn’t why he stopped himself, why he couldn’t speak his words but it turned the other way around. Jimin started throwing words at him that cut through his heart again. The past he was ashamed of, his time he spent with Boram because he was fucking forced to. Jimin didn’t stop. He said those words like he knew Jungkook’s heart when the truth was he knew nothing than his prospective and accusations.

The omega cried because he left him in the heat and when Jungkook told that no, he wasn’t alone but his alpha was there, Jimin was even mad.

“So you’re telling me, while I was vulnerable and hazy, you claimed me with your cock which fucked another omega– goddess knows how many times? You didn’t even touch me in full moons and you– You did that?”

Stop!

It was only you.

I have never fucked anyone else..

“No no baby.. I didn’t.”

I didn’t fuck him nor I did take advantages of your vulnerability.. 

“–I just stayed helping you, kissing, scenting and encouraging. I– I didn’t fuck you not because I didn’t want to but because we couldn’t talk about it–“

“We couldn’t talk because you freaking left me! I was kneeling, begging and you left me without even looking twice at me.”

Because I had no control over myself Jimin..

Please stop!

“–You planned to come? Stop fucking lying because if you did, you could have told me, scent me and reassure me. You didn’t plan to come! You planned to stay with them! Make love to him after making the pup sleep because your alpha respects your pup’s mother! Right? You planned to stay while I was dying here!”

“No! Please stop putting words in my mouth..”

He wasn’t.

He wasn’t fucking plan to do any of that. He couldn’t even get close to Boram, he couldn’t even touch him except letting him use him just only because he felt bad about his second husband. Make love? Why doing that when he was no one? Why wouldn’t Jimin hear him out?

There was an ugly feeling in his throat but he gulped hard until his saliva pushed the metal taste down. It wasn’t the time. He wished blood would stop rushing to his throat.

“Why did you help me? Why not just leave me like you always–“

“Because you’re my mate!”

“Now you remembered that I’m your mate?”

Jungkook flinched. Jimin looked like a mad wolf, angry and scary but it wasn’t fair. How he assumed everything and hurt Jungkook wasn’t fair because he was hurting too. Of course now he felt Jimin more. The poison was worn off, fake bond that he thought he was having for a pup and a fucking husband was gone for good so he felt Jimin more. But it’s not like he forgot Jimin willingly.

He was lied, fooled, used, taken advantage of and forced.

It wasn’t fair.

“I want to break the bond.”

And Jungkook’s whole world collapsed.

Jimin was so beautiful inside out. When he first saw the tiny omega trying to save his brother from falling off a chair, he saw how beautiful his heart was. No, he didn’t start loving his pretty face first, it was his heart woke up his alpha. Then he saw how he smiled at him, how his tiny fingers were fidgeting his shirt whenever he was looking at him, how his lips pouted and how beautiful his face and body was.

Jimin was so beautiful inside out.

Whenever he was alone at home while Jungkook was with Boram or hiding away- running in the woods, Jimin still stayed strong. When he was happy that Boram was bearing his offspring, he still smiled. He cared for everyone, he loved Jungkook. The alpha knew everything but why he couldn’t give him a chance to speak? To explain?

And why-

Why he wanted to break the bond?

Without even knowing the truth?

“Ba- Baby you don’t- You don’t mean it. Jimin–“

“I do. I want to break the bond and leave.”

“Is it because I’m- I’m infertile–“

Maybe it was the worst thing to ask. He saw how Jimin’s lips curved in to a smirk but a part of him was still vulnerable to the truth of being infertile while the other part didn’t want to believe that Jimin wanted to leave him just on some false accusations. No. Jimin wasn’t that bad, he wouldn’t– so Jungkook tried to think that his infertility was the issue for Jimin.

Until it wasn’t.

Jimin said things he never knew. About him taking Boram to the flower field, how the pack saw the redness caused by the anger he had on his face– for blushing, how they misunderstood his ironic smile to something else, how his forced dates were known by the omega and how he assumed Jungkook had enjoyed them. His alpha was speechless, hurt and frozen to see how his mate was accusing him for something he never did.

“–and you know what.. If he hadn’t fooled you, there’s no use of me when your pup, your body, your protection, your heart and love.. Everything was owned by him. You would have thrown me away sooner or later.”

Wait what?

How can Jimin say such a thing? There was no one else that owned him. There was no pup. There was no protection he gave to Boram willingly, there was no heart owned by him. It was all Jimin’s. He agreed to everything the council and the healer said because he wanted to be in his position and protect his connection with Jimin. He did everything he could to keep Jimin but what? What was Jimin saying? Throwing him away?

“Jimin no! Never!”

“And that’s why I can’t hold this pain. Because I wasn’t loved anymore and I can’t.. I can’t alpha. I really can’t or I will die..”

The alpha understood the things Jimin said. They never communicated well after Boram came in to the frame, it was all their fault. Not just his, not just Jimin’s but both. But Jimin looked so serious and Jungkook couldn’t breathe. He would die, without Jimin he knew he would die. Jungkook rushed forward and broke down on Jimin’s lap, nuzzling in to the soft tummy.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry.. But I never stopped loving you my love.. Give me another chance.. I beg you please..”

I want to explain.

I was hurting too..

But he didn’t succeed.

Jimin left.

* * *

All this long he was hurting alone.

He saw Jimin smiling freely, having fun with his best friend, alpha Taehyung and his other friends. He looked good having pups around him. He looked so beautiful.

Jimin was so beautiful inside out.

Jungkook couldn’t blame Jimin for breaking the bond but when his parents brought him the news, he broke down on his mother’s lap, in his father’s arms. They didn’t spread words about what Yoon really did with the poisonous plant because there was a possibility of someone else doing the same later. So Jimin didn’t know, no one knew and Jimin never gave him a chance to speak.

But Jungkook tried.

Whenever he tried to approach the omega, either he was punched across his face by Jimin’s brother, alpha Yoongi, or blood rushed to his throat making him want to hide and throw up, or Jimin walked away.

It was unfair.

Seohyun, the new healer gave him medicine that fought with the poison in his body. It and the medicine Jimin took to break the bond affected Jungkook. He was falling sick without no one to take care of and he vomited blood more.

He wondered if Jimin felt his pain.

He wish he didn’t. Jimin deserves only happiness.

And what about me?

Why don’t I deserve happiness?

Seohyun said that the blood vomit will be stopped in no time, that this time it wasn’t his confused alpha made him vomit but the herbs she gave was sucking the poison from his body and made him throw up. She said he would be fine soon and asked if he should tell Jimin about his state.

Jungkook growled.

“No. My omega should never know. He went through enough. He should never know and cry for me.”

“But what about you pack alpha? You went through a lot too..”

Fuck Seohyun!

Jungkook looked away and didn’t answer her. What he went through was fine as long as Jimin was happy.

* * *

Jungkook started leaving gifts for Jimin in Yoongi’s porch knowing well the alpha threw everything away. That’s why he started leaving food. He woke up early and ran in the whole pack ground everyday to find some food. It was the winter, animals had hidden in the deepest of the forest, plants didn’t produce fruits but Jungkook did his best. He slept a little, vomited a little and ate a little– got drunk more, cried more and ruined himself more.

Until he saw Jimin didn’t take the food but left them all in the common kitchen.

That day Jungkook broke down under the snowing, until he passed out, until a pack warrior found him under the pile of snow.

It took much time to convince himself that he should stop dropping Jimin food.

But he didn’t stop staring at his love, from afar until he gained strength to make up his mind to talk to him.

Finally Jungkook gathered a council and told them how exhausted he was. How hopeless he was after Jimin was gone. That he was not a good pack alpha and also not having his own mate or offspring would leave the pack in danger. Some elders agreed and some still said that he should make Jimin see the truth and make him take him back, and try to get pregnant, which was hilarious because Jungkook knew he was useless of an alpha. His knot was just a useless dick. He couldn’t produce an heir. So he made the pack understand that Seokjin’s blood too, carried the Jeon blood. Even if it wasn’t powerful as an alpha’s that they still could produce heirs to the Jeon pack.

Namjoon hated the idea, but he loved Jungkook.

So finally, he agreed to be the new pack alpha.

Then he got ready to meet his love, to talk.

Jungkook knew he can’t take Jimin anywhere else like the lake– in this weather and if it was Yoongi’s place, he would be killed by the alpha. Also Jimin would never step inside his home- their home so he asked his brother if he could have the home for himself for a few hours after taking some goat milk from the common kitchen- Jimin’s favorite. Seokijin and Namjoon was happy that finally the alpha was ready. Namjoon promised that he would make Yoongi busy with some work so they could talk.

So Jungkook went for it.

To his happiness, Jimin agreed to talk.

Only to stay deaf to his words, stay blind to his pain and ignore his pleads.

* * *

No matter how hard it was, Jungkook couldn’t forget how painful it was for him too. How Jimin let him marry Boram so easily, didn’t see the change in his behaviors to ask if he was ok, how he never talked and how they drifted apart. But every time the thoughts came in, he pushed it away. He took all wrongs on him and only him. It was all him, all his fault.

Not Jimin’s.

Never Jimin’s.

After the painful conversation he had with Jimin, Jungkook didn’t go out for days– not even to meet Seohyun to take his medicine but locked himself in his home, their home, clinging on to the fading smell that came from Jimin’s pillow. His brother and his mate- now pack alpha and omega tried to talk to him but he didn’t even move from the safety of his nest, their nest. The pack had held a function to welcome their new pack alpha but Jungkook didn’t even join it, just sent his wishes with a big deer he hunted for Jimin few moons ago, that he was preserving in snow simply because he couldn’t throw it away or drop it at Jimin’s feet.

Did my omega join the feast?

What was he thinking about me stepping down?

Doesn’t he care?

Jungkook confirmed his thoughts the day he heard the rumors when he went to the only unfrozen pond after days– only because he smelled like shit and his skin was oily, because he needed a bath.

Words spread so fast.

Jimin was meeting Seohyun to remove his mark. 

The pack still bowed to him because they knew how he was fooled, how much a good leader he was but also some despised him not knowing the whole truth, some still pitied him– maybe that’s why they stopped talking about Jimin’s regular visit to the infirmary and walked away after bowing to him, leaving the alpha collapsing on his knees to the words he heard. He knew Jimin would do that but he had a tiny hope after explaining everything that maybe, maybe Jimin would give him a chance.

Tears were running down his face and he clutched his aching heart. Breathing was hard, blinking was hard, living was hard. He stayed there for hours until it started snowing again. It was so cold. Everything was so cold and dead. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t bear the pain, couldn’t do this anymore.

You deserve so much better. A perfect, fertile, kind, understanding alpha who listens to you and only you. A better alpha..

I’m sorry.

I love you.

But don’t I deserve better too?

Maybe not..

Now Jungkook had nothing left here in Jeon pack, once he got home– he took a leather bag they used while hunting and stuffed it with a few of his pants and shirts along with the pouch he made as Jimin’s first courting gift. He removed Jimin’s pillow cover and pushed it in to the bag with a few of Jimin’s shirts that was left behind. He prayed the smell of honey would linger until he dies in a few days.

He was leaving the pack.

An alpha that was infertile.

An alpha who belonged to a pack all his life.

An alpha with a one sided mating bond.

An alpha who was once the pack alpha of the biggest, strongest pack.

An alpha who lost everything.

Once he left the pack– without any bonds he was familiar with, without his mate connected to his bond, his inner wolf will get weaker. Maybe– no! Definitely, he will die in the snow storm not too late after.

He knew he will.

It’s ok though, he deserved it so he sighed taking one last breath from inside their home.

One last breath..

Good bye my love. Be happy.

Maybe in next life, we will meet again.

Maybe then, I will be able to love you better.

Forgive me.

Chapter Text

Jimin just came back from meeting Seohyun when he heard the front door opening with a loud bang. It shouldn’t be his brother. He wasn’t that aggressive even if he gets mad so easily.

Jimin jumped from his bed and ran to the living room to see his best friend panting loud. A smile was decorating on his lips until the alpha looked at him with worried eyes.

“He’s- He’s leaving!”

“What? Who’s leaving where? There’s a snow storm outside. What kind of idiot will–“

“Pack al- I mean.. Jungkook is leaving the pack Minie! He is going to leave!”

Everything went blank.

Jimin stood there frozen on the floor looking ahead at his best friend with widen eyes. In the next second, his legs gave up but before he collapsed on the ground, Tae had him secured in his arms. Jimin couldn’t breathe.

“Why? He will- He will die..”

“Why do you think he is leaving? ”

That left Jimin speechless. His heart was aching and his omega was scratching him, begging to be let out. He wanted to stand up and run after the alpha– his alpha, beg him to stop, ask why he would be leaving when it hit him.

He had never told Jungkook his heart but left him alone that day.

Just like how Jungkook left him once.

But at least his alpha came back to him and he.. Didn’t.

Jimin made Seohyun spill what she knew.

Well, the beta wouldn’t open her mouth but ever since Seohyun said that Jungkook wasn’t ok, it was bothering him deep down and after he heard Jungkook’s story, he asked the healer how the tea worked in Jungkook’s body. Seohyun had made a word with Jungkook to never let Jimin know but when Jimin asked her over and over, saying that he was considering about not breaking the bond, she said one thing. She said she can’t say more than that because she would never go over her pack alpha’s words.

“He is in immense of pain since full moons.”

And Jimin was breaking.

Now to hear that Jungkook was leaving because of losing his love- him..

His omega was questioning his behavior and Jimin whined, pressing his face in Tae’s chest.

His best friend got the signal and helped him stand up. Even before he asked what he wanted to do, Jimin pushed him away and ran out from the cabin in to the snow storm wearing nothing but his soft pants and wool cardigan. His feet were bare, Tae was running after him screaming, asking to stop, at least wear some boots but everything went unheard by the omega. Snow was crunching under his feet, making it harder for him to run. His feet were sinking in the pile of snow but his heart and mind was somewhere else.

Stop him!

Stop our alpha!

So Jimin ran and ran and ran.

It was until he reached their old home to hear muffled cries and he knew those sounds. Seokjin and their mother’s cries. They were crying along with their alphas and no one else around. Jungkook could choose to leave from their main pack entrance but from the situation, the omega knew that the alpha just choose the back area of their home. To run away silently. Jimin sped up his feet, running through the four wolves pushing them away until his eyes could see nothing but him. But he didn’t see any other human being around. There were gasps around him, someone was calling him and he even heard his brother’s voice but Jimin wasn’t giving any of his attention on them but ran across the snow following the fading footprint on the snow.

Leaving..

He’s leaving. It’s him.

His breathing was getting slower with the coldness. Tears that were rolling down on his face were freezing. Fluffy hair was all wet and small shoulders were holding more snow each passing second and that still didn’t make him stop. Finally, finally he saw something. Between the white snow, between the coldness there was a figure fading under his blurring gaze and the omega ran faster and faster. There was a hope blooming inside him when His foot met a root under the snow and he fell down on the snow, face buried deep in the coldness but he stood up, running again until the other man heard the small sound of someone calling his name through the sound of snow fall.

“Jungkook.. Kookie.. Kookie..”

The alpha stopped and looked around.

Maybe he was hallucinating. There was no way Jimin was running to him in this coldness, calling his name. Why would he? No. So Jungkook tried push away the image of the familiar figure and started walking away. He couldn’t get any further when there was a weight on his back, a warmth spreading through his whole body, small hands wrapped around his torso.

He snapped back to the reality and turned around to face his mate clinging on to him shivering.

His heart beat stopped in his throat. His hands were shaking not to the coldness but to the feeling of his mate over his body. The warmth he was missing, the smell he always wanted, his mate, his Jimin…  

Was freezing!

“Ji- Jimin..”

“Cold. So cold alpha..”

Jimin buried his face in Jungkook’s warm fur coat. It was also covered with snow but at least it was him. His alpha. Jimin was trembling, his small feet freezing when finally, finally big arms were wrapped around him. Jimin sighed in relief. Finally he was there in his mate’s arms, in his home. It hurt how much that small warmth along bought him happiness and relief. The happiness still hurt.

“What- Jimin why- You- Goddess! Why aren’t you wearing any coat? What-“

“Don’t leave. I came to- stop you. If I was late- If I stopped for a coat- You might have gone! Gone!”

Please hug me.

Please stay.

Jungkook was surprised, shocked. He wanted to ask why Jimin was here after all this time, after he wanted him to be gone, after he went to get his mating mark removed even after their talk, after everything why he was here in the last second but Jimin was trembling. There were so much snow around, snowing hasn’t even stopped so before everything, Jungkook wanted to make him feel better. His mating mark was tingling, his whole body was shivering with need. Need to protect his mate. Finally when there was a light through the darkness, he didn’t want to let it go.

But also he wanted to respect Jimin.

“Can I- Can I lift you and take you to somewhere warm? It’s freezing-“

“Hmm.. Cold.”

They both were shivering and stuttering with the coldness. Now he got permission, Jungkook bended until his hands were on the back of the omega’s thighs and then he scooped him in his arms, Jimin clinging on to his body like a koala, his legs wrapped around Jungkook’s waist like old days. With one hand, Jungkook pushed his bag to a side so he can pull Jimin more in to his warmth and that’s when it hit him. It was hidden under the snow until now so he didn’t know that the omega was barefooted.

You came for me like this.

You were scared that I’d be gone.

Jungkook’s alpha was preening inside him while his paws were petting the exhausted omega’s soft tail. Jungkook’s human side was hurting to feel how cold Jimin was. His mate had gone pliant in his arms. They were so far from the village and the snow storm was getting worse. So Jungkook secured Jimin in his arms and started walking towards the den he was familiar with, the same place he spent throwing up his blood, losing himself to a poison.

For now, until the snow storm is stopped they could stay there.

* * *

Jimin didn’t remember how he fell asleep. Last thing he remembered was snowing and Jungkook leaving.

Jungkook was leaving!

He woke up completely with the fear of his mate being gone. Surprisingly he wasn’t cold anymore and that’s when he felt it. There were piles of clothes covering his body and a small fire was heating up the small space. He looked around to see Jungkook sitting next to the firepit, blowing air to the fire to light it up. With the small sound of Jimin’s gasp, the alpha lifted his head and looked at him.

“Koo-“

“Bab-“

They both said at the same time and stopped themselves in the middle. It was dark outside. Maybe Tae, his brother and his pack were worried about him but Jimin didn’t care. Jungkook was here. He was here with him, he was here warm and safe with him. That was enough.

“You were leaving..” finally he said without breaking the eye contact with the alpha. He pulled the clothes to his nose that were covering his body and took a breath form the smell that he was missing, maple syrup. Jungkook might have packed them when he was leaving, had covered him with all of them because he was freezing. There was a warmth around him and in his heart.

“Ah.. Yeah. I was.” The alpha looked nervous when he looked away from Jimin, scratching the nape of his neck.

“Why? You- There’s a storm.. You could have died!”

“So?”

Just one word, just one question but Jimin didn’t know how to respond. Of course Jungkook didn’t know what he was thinking that day when he left his cabin, their cabin, of course Jungkook could think he doesn’t mind seeing him dead but the truth was, he wasn’t. He wasn’t going to wait until his alpha died. His face fell, fading scent burned in the air and eyes filled with tears while his lip started trembling. What if he was late, what if Jungkook had died, what if-

Before his thoughts ran deeper his face was lifted by the alpha who closed the gap between them. Through his blurred vision he saw how Jungkook looked scared.

“No no.. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry ba- Jimin. It’s my fault. I made you leave, I hurt you. I made you cry. I did everything. You-“

“Don’t die.. Please don’t die Kookie..” the alpha’s eyes filled with tears when Jimin started crying, pulling Jungkook’s wrist to his face to gulp the smell of maple syrup. It made Jungkook’s heart skip. His mate was searching for his scent.

“Not me, It was you about to die Jimin. Without a coat, boots.. What were you-“

“Why did you leave? Why were you- Why?” Jimin asked like it wasn’t obvious. He knew it was him, he hadn’t been open with his thoughts but why? Jungkook had his pack here, his family, his everything so why? He saw how the alpha took a seat in front of him letting go of him and pulled his legs to his chest, hugging them with his arms shielding himself.

Scared.

Jungkook is scared.

“You left. You didn’t want me. You hate me. I was- I knew I deserved it but I thought maybe.. Maybe.. I wished you said something.. Something about me stepping down but there was no word. I lost my hopes and.. Then I heard the pack saying that you were going to remove your mark– my mark on you. That you were gonna break the bond. I knew that before but after explaining too- Still you wanted to- It broke me. I couldn’t breathe for hours and once I gained my strength back- I packed the bag and left. Didn’t want to witness it.”

Didn’t want to live anymore..

The silence that followed was too much. Snowing had stopped. Layers of now was almost blocking the entrance leaving the darkness outside of the den which was lighted by the fire, heated by the situation. Jimin pulled the shirts that were covering his body more to himself sighing.

“It was.. My fault-“

“No.. Nothing happened is your fault Jimin. All mine.. Only mine..”

“Can you let me speak?” That made the alpha press his lips together leaving his mate to speak. Jimin saw how Jungkook made himself even smaller, if that made his heart break, he didn’t mention it. His explaining would do.

“It- I should have told that I was shocked. What we talked that day, what you told was too much. I needed to breath. I needed time. I didn’t hate you. I never did, I still don’t. Even when I was left alone when you- when Boram was there, I still didn’t hate you Jungkook, I just needed time.. I should have told you that. I should have been clearing it.” The alpha lifted his face. His eyes were shining, the darkness, sadness was gone in a second.

Hopes.

The black orbs were filling with hopes.

“I was- I knew I was wrong too– No! Don’t you dare say it was only you because it was me too. You were right, I- we are mates Jungkook. Husbands. Lovers. When it happened, when you told me what the council said.. I just kept every feeling to myself, told you to take a concubine without talking with you like an adult. Yes. I let you go like- like it didn’t hurt me, it didn’t hurt you. I was wrong! I regret it so much.. You went through so much because of my childishness..”

“That day too, I should have told you that, what Yoon did wasn’t your fault– Stop trying to disturb me.” Jimin said when he saw Jungkook trying to say something again.

“Being- being infertile wasn’t something you chose Jungkook.. so stop blaming yourself. It was them. It was all them and.. I wanted to forgive you. My omega wanted too but I needed time. I couldn’t talk, couldn’t breath and that’s why I left.. About the function– I was.. I wanted to see you.. Ask why you did that, if the council forced you, if your parents said something, if you were ok.. but my hyung.. Yoongi hyung was mad. He said how- How you could have done it when it was- when we thought it was me the infertile one. He told how you- you didn’t care when it was me but stepped down when it was you. He was so mad. He didn’t let me go to you and I couldn’t fight him. He’s my hyung.” Jungkook gulped but nodded nonetheless. His eyes were on the ground, like he couldn’t argue with Jimin.

“About the rumor.. Did you know I was going to remove the mark after I left you for the first time?” Jimin asked with a soft voice and nodded back when Jungkook nodded in tiny. The alpha wanted to say many things about what he felt when it happened, when he still left gifts at Yoongi’s porch but he didn’t say that.

That he didn’t want his omega to hurt.

That he didn’t want Jimin to witness him vomiting blood.

“My.. my parents let me know..”

“Yeah. I really did want it. Wanted to be free from you..” the alpha tensed, his shoulders slumped and hid his face in his knees but the small drop of tear that rolled down his face didn’t go unnoticed by the omega. Jimin’s heart ached but he wanted to be truthful.

“But after we talked.. it was different. I- I went to Seohyun, yes but it wasn’t to talk about breaking the bond. Before I was taking medicine to get prepared for the removal of my mark. Then I went to talk with her about stopping the medicine, to ask if they weakened the bond and if it had already started, what I should do because I didn’t want to break the bond Jungkook. Not after the talk, not anymore.. You idiot. After what happened with Yoon, you should know not to trust other’s words.”

When Jungkook finally lifted his head to look at Jimin, his heart ached. The alpha didn’t try to stop the tears. His lips wobbled , his shoulders heaved with how much he tried to control his sobs. He was crying. He wasn’t even trying to hide his vulnerability. When he brought Jimin here, he was ready to make him feel better and take him back home once he woke up, then start his own journey of his lonely life leaving the pack when Jimin was secured with his family but now, he wanted to hope. He wanted to be wanted, loved and healed.

“You.. You wanted us? You wanted me? Still after everything? After.. after- After knowing I’m a failure? Infertile? Stupid? Rude? Useless? ” His voice was barely a whisper, it was broken and sad. 

“Did you stop loving me when you thought I was infertile?” Jimin’s voice was the opposite of Jungkook’s. Loud and clear.

“No. Never. I always did since we were pups. I still do and- Wait.. Love? You.. You still love me? Jimin..” and the alpha’s tears renewed with new drops. He was shaking with his cries. Jimin smiled through his own tears and slowly peeled off the pile of clothes from his body. Then he crawled towards the alpha and slowly took his chin in his fingers. That made the alpha look at him.

“There wasn’t a day I didn’t love you Kookie.. Even when I was going to break the bond, even when I thought you were happy with someone else while I was alone.. I still- I always.. I still love you. It was always you and always will be..” he leaned forward slowly until his forehead touched the alpha’s. Until Jungkook closed his eyes, until their breath mingled together with their scents finally, finally highlighting.

Until their inner wolves were holding each other.

“I love you.. I love you so I want to give us a chance. Another chance but we’ll take it slow. We have to forget Yoon and everything. We have to trust more, communicate more and more. A lot had happened so we’ll take it slow. Can you do that?”

“Anything.. Any-thing you want Jimin. Anything to make you understand that- that I’m yours. That I- I was always yours and only yours..”

Only yours..

Then Jungkook leaned his head on Jimin’s shoulder and the omega just let him. He was crying more, hiccupping and sobbing. Feeling the familiar warmth and scent, not a second later, Jungkook was entering in to a slumber. Jimin was exhausted too but instead he just sat there crying in to Jungkook’s hair which was now longer than before. His eyes never left the mating mark on Jungkook’s neck that he left claiming him forever. He touched it softly and gasped when Jungkook whined, hiding his face in Jimin’s neck and it was too much. So Jimin pushed him slowly until he was laying on his back. He then took a few shirts that was draped over him and covered the alpha with them. With the clothes gone, the coldness hit Jimin and he saw something next to the firepit. Curious eyes landed on that and he slowly crawled there to see some toasted yams that was covered in a dead leaf.

So Jungkook made them food too.

He wasn’t hungry. Not when Jungkook was empty stomached so Jimin kept it to be and pulled Jungkook’s bag to find more clothes for himself. What he pulled out made his eyes widen and heart race thousand times than before.

It was a bundle of his own few shirts and the familiar white fur pouch.

And Jimin broke down again.

But this time there was nothing but a warmth.

* * *

Yoongi yelled at Jimin.

He yelled at him for making them all so worried because they thought he might have died under the snowstorm without even any warmth to cover his feet or body after Yoongi and Tae came back empty handed who went searching for the omega. Then he yelled at him for choosing Jungkook, the stupid alpha who was nothing but a mess. Then he yelled at him for being too stupid, too loyal and too in love. After all the scoldings, he hugged him tight, crying, glaring at the alpha over his shoulder who was looking at the ground like a small, kicked pup.

Their parents were happy, their friends were happy, the whole pack was happy.

And they took it slow.

Jimin still stayed at Yoongi’a place. He wasn’t ready yet so they stayed at their own cabins, fulfilling their duties in the pack. Jimin worked at the nursery and the pack alpha Namjoon, took Jungkook as his head adviser after begging the younger alpha countless times. Jungkook was always a good leader, despite of being infertile the pack still respected him and helped him. But all Jungkook wanted was to run back to the nursery after his day to fetch Jimin back home.

He did it every single day.

They walked side by side keeping a distance between them. Jimin appreciated it so much. If there was a part that wanted Jungkook closer, he pushed it away because they wanted to take it slow. And that’s what they did.

Jimin’s fading smell was now stronger following the smell of maple syrup lingering in the air. Maybe it’s because he stopped taking medicine he took before, he said to himself but he knew it was the thought of Jungkook wanting him. Finally his alpha wanted him again and why shouldn’t he smell good for him? They were not always together but ever since what happened in the den, their wolves were together, snuggling closer whenever they met, begging to be together when they weren’t but they took it slow.

He didn’t know that Jungkook also had started vomiting blood less than before, his alpha finally freed from the poison and dark souls and finally closer to his real mate, love.

The winter was ending, letting the flowers bloom for a pretty spring.

The walks which had a distance were closed with their hands intertwining.

After he had a chat with Namjoon, Yoongi found why Jungkook didn’t step down from his position before. Since being born, the alpha was always taught to be the pack alpha and he loved it, he loved the pack and he loved serving them. When he found he and Jimin can’t bring his offspring, he wanted protect Jimin and his position while finding a solution for the problem. He thought, being the pack alpha was also the best way to stop everyone who could check Jimin’s fertility. But when he found out it was him, there wasn’t a need to protect his position because he already lost what he adored the most; his mate. Now, there was no reason to protect anything else. He lost in life. What’s the importance of his position?

The council refused it.

But Jungkook left.

It made the elder alpha feel something deep in his heart so he smiled at the younger alpha more when he brought Jimin flowers. He welcomed him inside and treated him with a cup of tea or coffee to show his heart, not knowing Jungkook felt nothing but intimidated. Maybe that was for the better, maybe then– Jungkook would know not to be a fool ever again, not to hurt his brother again.

* * *

Omega Byun, a girl who was appointed to the nursery work just a full moon ago, told Jimin that alpha Jeon was waiting for him outside asking for him. Jimin’s work wasn’t over but the girl had a smile on her face, let him know that she can help the others and Jimin can leave. He didn’t have any idea why Jungkook was there early, but he removed the apron and wiped his face with some water, looked at the mirror once and walked out thanking the other omegas, ignoring their giggles and winks. Jungkook was waiting with the prettiest smile when Jimin stepped out. Jimin felt his heart fluttered, like he was the teenager again who was blushing under pack alpha Jeon’s alpha son’s eyes.

Each step Jimin took towards the alpha, made him feel full all over when he saw Jungkook lifting his hand, asking Jimin’s hand. His heart was beating faster than any other days when he placed his tiny hand on Jungkook’s. The alpha closed his fist, caressing Jimin’s soft hand with his thumb, his eyes scanning Jimin’s face.

“You’re so beautiful”

Jimin wasn’t ready for something like that. His face heated and he was blushing. He saw how the tips of the alpha’s ears turned red. It wasn’t just him blushing.

“Why are you here so early? It’s not 5 yet..”

“Come with me?”

Jungkook asked just that and Jimin just nodded. Past few full moons, Jungkook was nothing but patient, kind and hard working. Trying to be the best, respecting and loving Jimin. It was like he was courting Jimin again, and the omega didn’t complain.

They walked side by side, hand in hand through the pack. The pack members smiled at them, most of them still bowed and whispered blesses from moon goddess for the couple. The two mates’ hearts filled with warmth and then when Jimin realized to where Jungkook was taking him, his whole body shivered with a bittersweet feeling. The alpha didn’t take much time to catch the difference from Jimin’s scent. When Jungkook stopped and turned towards the omega, his inner alpha was already trying to snuggle Jimin’s inner omega.

He wanted to do the same.

Scent his mate, make him feel better but he waited, like always.

“Don’t wanna go there?” he asked instead, voice concerned and focused on his mate.

Jimin’s lips parted and his eyes ran towards the field that started a few steps ahead from where they were standing. The wind brought the addicting smell of flowers, it made him feel fresh but it still made him feel something uncomfortable in his heart.

They were going to the flower field.

It was different from last time when he heard about Jungkook and Boram. Now he had Jungkook’s eyes solely on him and him only. His hand were engulfed by Jungkook’s, being caressed so so softly. His scent was mixed with maple syrup, his omega was so close to his mate’s alpha. He felt Jungkook through the bond. Everything was different. It was all ok.

So he looked at Jungkook and smiled.

That was enough for the alpha to understand.

When Jimin followed Jungkook through the beauty of the field, he didn’t expect to see a soft mat on the ground under the big lonely tree that was grown in the middle of the field. There were soft pillows placed neatly, a small basket was also there which was filled with fruits. His eyes widened.

Jungkook smiled and helped Jimin sit, joining him a second later. They sat there looking at the beauty, smelling the freshness through their nostrils. There were something inside the omega’s heart, poking at him to ask from his mate and clear all doubts but he promised that they would move on. So he didn’t.

“No, we didn’t sit here. No, I wasn’t sitting close to him. No, there was no nesting or snacks. There were mud under our feet, threat of wasps and a pain in my heart.”

Jimin widened his eyes. How did Jungkook read him? How did he know he wanted to ask that, he didn’t know. He saw how Jungkook had his eyes on the horizon when he talked.

“I always- We always feel out mates through the bond Jimin. The plants they gave me, might have done something to me, that made me feel my alpha less– or something. Well, at least that’s what Seohyun said. That’s why I abandoned you- my mate in the darkness without looking twice.. But again when the impact of poison was worn off, when I felt my alpha, it was all pain. Everything hurt..”

“Jungkook-“

“But now..” those black orbs turned to look at Jimin’s brown ones.

“-now I felt you. I feel you my love. Do you feel me too? My aching heart? My regrets? My.. My love?”

Jimin’s teary eyes stared at those dark orbs before nodding because he felt everything. His eyes never left his mate’s when he slowly scooted towards Jungkook. The alpha’s scent spiked and his eyes widened. His heartbeat skyrocketed but he still kept one of his hand on the ground behind him, leaving space for his body so his mate could close the gap, which Jimin happily did.

The omega pressed his side on Jungkook’s smiling. It felt so right. It felt so fucking right that made his omega jump in happiness, wiggling his tail in the air. He scooted even closer, making Jungkook wrap his arm around his shoulder. The alpha was hesitating at first, never wanted to make Jimin uncomfortable but when he felt that Jimin closing his eyes to the warmth, he tightened his hand. Their scents finally mixed together.

After ages..

After so many hardships..

After so much pain..

“Jimin-“

“From today on, we will forget them completely. Yoon Boram- who is that? The old hag healer? Who..” he felt the alpha’s body shaking with a giggle. “It’s- you and me. Just us..”

“I can do that. I was waiting for today. Thank you so much Jimin. For still accepting this useless, infertile piece of alph-“ Jungkook couldn’t tell anymore. The omega was stopping him, covering his lips by his palm. Jimin didn’t even have to tell anything for Jungkook to understand that degrading himself was hurting his mate too. Instead Jungkook nodded, puckered his lips and slightly brushed Jimin’s palm with a peck.

Jimin blushed.

And then they looked at the sky turning purple, sun setting , giving it’s farewell to another day.

Jimin closed his eyes, leaning his head on his mate’s shoulder and smiling to the whisper of five words that left Jungkook’s lips.

“I love you.. Only you.”

* * *

The cabin Boram had stayed had been set on fire by Jungkook soon after Jimin left him. A few days after their visit to the flower field, Jungkook met Jimin with a blindfold. The omega was curious but he let Jungkook cover his vision and to lead him through the pack grounds until he felt the fresh smell of rain and grass along with strong smell of forest lands. Then Jungkook removed the blindfold.

That day, the alpha ended his second time of courting his mate with a beautifully built cabin next to the Southern side of the pack, isolated from the village. It was also next to the forest and close to the smallest pond that claimed it for only them. The cabin was bigger than their old one, had two floors and even balconies from front and the side. Was surrounded by beautiful bushes of wild flowers and roses. Newly planted Ivy had started hugging the walls perfectly. It was simply beautiful and perfect.

Jimin looked at Jungkook with parted lips.

“End this torture Jimin. I can’t- I can’t live without you. I started building this ever since we came back from the den.. I wanted- I want you. No! I need you. Will you accept my gift and be my husband? Again?”

And Jimin pulled Jungkook in to a bone crushing hug. He asked only two things from Jungkook if he really wants him to accept the gift. One- calling him baby, again. Two- never stop loving, which Jungkook agreed eagerly hugging Jimin back.

The inside was beautiful. Jungkook explained why he broke down their old cabin and built this for them. There were so many painful memories there which they went through a whole winter. Everywhere he went, it was all pain. He thought how it might be for Jimin. He wasn’t the one who was left alone at the cabin while his mate was with someone else, it was Jimin. If they moved there, he knew it would hurt Jimin more than it hurt him. It didn’t mean they didn’t have beautiful memories there at all. Those little things which held those memories were shifted to the new cabin by the alpha. Jimin smiled when he saw the kitchen table Jungkook always made him sit while he made breakfast– or worse– made love.

There were two rooms in the second floor. One was slightly smaller, had a balcony that gave the view of their pack village which was far away from there. When Jimin stood at the door to the room, Jungkook back hugged him muttering apologizes for not being able to turn it to a nursery one day. Begging for forgiveness for not being able to fill Jimin to the fullest. When Jimin felt a tear rolled down to his nape, he turned around and cupped Jungkook’s face to lift his eyes to him.

“Myabe.. Maybe we can adopt. Only if you like- Maybe..”

“Really? But baby.. I- You will never feel full. I will never..”

“Hush. I already feel full, with you by my side. You didn’t let me get checked up that day to protect me, you could have let me go but you didn’t.. Just like that- Just like you were there for me, no matter how many things you lack, I will be happy if I have you Kookie. You’re enough.” Jimin was staring at Jungkook’s eyes, his soul until he nodded, until he smiled.

“Can I be honest Jimin? As stupid and ridiculous as it sounds.. A part of me is happy that I’m- I’m- you know- infertile. I know it’s wrong but because of that I lost my pack alpha position which is so amazing, gave me time to look at my life and more and more time to be with you. I- For the first time in my life, I’m happy that I’m not pack alpha. I just wanna be your alpha and goddess the happiness I feel with you..” Jimin wanted to kiss him but he just giggled.

“What if.. What if they asked you to take the position back once we adopted-“

“I’ll murder them!” When Jungkook said, Jimin widened his eyes. “-They couldn’t let me do that before all this happened and now if they had a gut to say that, I swear in the name of moon goddess that I will-“

“Ok ok.. Don’t swear in the goddess’ name but.. What if.. One day we got- um.. pregnant and they..” Jimin knew he shouldn’t have asked that when the alpha’s lips curved in to a pout. He looked like a small puppy and his scent got thicker and bitter. So Jimin quickly said that he doesn’t want to get pregnant but was just curious.

“I’m sorry that.. That we can’t get pregnant but baby.. If- If it happened, I will still decline it. I can’t do that, I can’t go through all of that again and I really can’t see you in pain again. I don’t wanna care about the pack anymore and that’s why I even built this cabin far away from them, maybe I’m being selfish towards Joon hyung but I can’t. All I want is you. Be your alpha. Be yours and protect you. Be only yours and love you. That’s all..”  Jungkook was so cute and so beautiful. Those eyes were shining with adoration and lots and lots of love, a little bit of a sadness was there too. Maybe Jungkook was right. They were played with and who can promise that it won’t happen ever again? One time was enough. They don’t want more and also Jimin wouldn’t mind having Jungkook all to himself all along his life.

Only mine..

All mine.

Their bed room was next to the small open living area. It had a balcony opened the view to the small pond and the forest. The room was bigger, king size bed looked comfortable and somethings from their old cabin was also there. Jimin stood up in the balcony, feeling the breeze that came from the forest with a big alpha clinging on to his back. He closed his eyes and took his bottom lip in his teeth to stop the whimper when Jungkook nuzzled in his neck, asking silent permission to scent him.

It’s been so long, so so long they felt each other.

Only mine..

Jimin hummed tilting his head to leave more space for the alpha. their inner wolves were preening, rolling down on the floor in a mess of fur to be closer after winters. Jungkook’s lips were pressed on the mating mark on Jimin’s neck before dragging his nose along the smoothness, scenting him thoroughly. Jimin’s heart was beating, his hands tightened on the alpha’s hands which were wrapped around his waist. He felt Jungkook’s heart beating on his back.

“I love you. I love you I love you I love you baby.. I’m only yours. Yours..” the alpha whispered pulling Jimin more to scent him more.

Only yours..

“Only mine and I’m- Alpha.. Make me yours again. Make me. claim me. It hurt since ages and please..”

Only yours..

Jungkook pulled himself away to turn Jimin around. His doe eyes were widened and scent so so strong. He cupped Jimin’s face and leaned closer.

“Do you mean- Like.. Baby are you sure-“

His words stopped completely when a pair of plump lips he was missing all this long, were crashed on his.

They were having their own first kiss after ages.

The lips were so soft. So thick and fitted so perfectly with the alpha’s own– like always. Tasted like candy, soft like a cloud, mushy like a pillow. He missed the feeling so much, wanted to feel it again since forever even when Boram was in the frame but he was hesitating, then respectful when Jimin wasn’t ready. Now he had his love in his arms, in his soul, on his lips… Jungkook couldn’t stop but smile in happiness.  

It started like an innocent kiss where they tried to explore the warmth they missed but turned out when Jungkook felt Jimin’s bulge on his own. He growled under his breath, hugged Jimin in his arms, walked backwards until he was fallen on their newly made bed with Jimin on top of him. Impatient hands were all over each other when clothes were thrown away on the floor.

Finally.. again..

Only yours..

Jungkook had so many things in his mind when Jimin started begging but he just laid Jimin on the bed and stared at his body. I missed you. Then he touched him softly, taking so much time to trace the skin with is fingertips making the omega whine. Then the fingertips were replaced with his lips, Jimin’s fingers pulling Jungkook more by carding them through the long black locks. I missed us. And it was perfect. So so perfect to have each other after everything. The moment Jungkook finally entered Jimin’s slicked softness, they broke up in to tears. It’s been so long. So so long.

Mine..

Yours..

Soon the whole room was filled with sounds of kisses, soft moans and groans, skin slapping against skin and whispers of love and promises. Tears of apologizes and pleasure made the pillows wet while their slick and cum made the whole bed a mess.

When Jungkook knotted Jimin for the second time on the day on their third round, Jimin moaned his name with a few words that made Jungkook’s already swollen cock twitch again.

“Glad that- that we won’t be able to have pups.. No need to- to divide my attention. Glad that- That you’re not pack alpha– running after each and every wolf to solve problems..” Jimin moaned when Jungkook’s knot touched his prostate tighter. “-I got you all to myself alpha.. Make me full like this.. Always…”

Even if Jungkook wanted to throw his head backwards and laugh at his mate’s bold statement, all he did was agreeing.

“I love you. I love you so much baby..”

“I love you too alpha.”

I’m only yours.

Only yours.

* * *

Four full moons had passed to the day they made love after everything they went through. By the time, Jungkook had completely stopped vomiting blood. They were living in their new cabin with the blesses of their friends, family and the whole pack. They were working in the pack but they were never this free in their life ever before. Jungkook had so much time for Jimin. He took him on walks, went with him on flying kites like pups, they stargazed near the lake and went on boat rides too. Staying true to his words, Jungkook woke Jimin up with kisses, made love to him everywhere in the house and more in the pond next to their cabin.

They spent Jimin’s heat in the flower field, inside a temporary tent Jungkook made hidden behind the tall plants of Perennial flowers. Jimin’s heat had triggered Jungkook’s rut and because he had a rut after winters, it lasted more. They spent doing nothing but claiming each other more days than they expected, not that they complained.

On the last day to Jungkook’s rut he renewed his mating mark on Jimin by biting him again and Jimin followed the same.

After that day, every second passed Jungkook wanting to keep Jimin only to himself, hidden in their home.

Everything was perfect.

The honeymoon pace started all over and it never ended, the love, happiness wasn’t fading away so why?

Jungkook didn’t know.

He was having a meeting with the council members, giving his idea about clearing a path to the hot water springs that were in the middle of the forest so they could use it in the winters. It was when a panting beta barged inside without a further notice, making Namjoon, the pack alpha stand up in anger.

“Omega Jeon had collapsed.. Is- is in the infirmary.. Healer Seohyun-“

Jungkook saw red.

He didn’t know why the torturing wasn’t over for them when he ran through the pack grounds, Namjoon running after him. He was crying, growling when he almost broke the door to the infirmary. There he was, his beautiful mate laying on one of the beds, eyes closed.

“Jimin.. Jimin no! Baby..”

It’s me. My fault..

My infertility made your heats irregular.

My weakness made you sick..

Jungkook stood beside Jimin and buried his face in Jimin’s neck, scenting him through his tears. He was a mess, Jimin was sick and he wasn’t waking up. It was all his fault. He was sobbing that Seohyun calling him was also went unnoticed until Namjoon shook him.

“Jungkook he’s just sleeping! Seohyun gave him some herbs!”

Oh..

“So.. He isn’t.. My baby isn’t dying?” Jungkook looked like a lost puppy that it made both Namjoon and Seohyun’s hearts ache. They couldn’t blame him for the fears he had. They went through so much, sure they were over it. But it wasn’t easy, they say a man who was burned in fire scares of even fireflies.

“Then why he- He collapsed?”

He said looking at the healer through his tears. Jungkook was holding Jimin’s hand, scenting his wrist kissing it softly. Seohyun was taking so much time and it made him feel irritated, his alpha was on the edge.

“Seohyun!”

“Flower filed is a sacred place.. You two..”

No!

Dirtying the place was never Jungkook’s intention when he built the hut there, he just wanted to claim Jimin under moon goddess and the goddess of their land’s eyes. That was it. The place was the best. That’s why he chose the field. Nothing else. He never wanted it to hurt his mate. His scent got bitter, body was shaking with fear and regret. It was all his fault–

“I highly believe that’s how this happened, also maybe the herbs we used to remove the poison from your body helped you too. However.. Congratulations head alpha Jeon! Omega Jeon is three weeks in to carrying your offspring.”

Head alpha?

No! Never again!

But wait-

Jungkook’s breath stopped.

His alpha was speechless.

His scent got incredibly sweet.

“Wh- What?”