Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Your pal Penguin's here." Harvey said, looking down at the young gangster who had just entered the precinct.

Jim sighed, rubbing his eyes. Not only had the two just began their day but they were right in the middle of dealing with a serial killer that the pair had originally ruled a double homicide just last week. "Of course he is." He said, frustrated. Oswald always did have to pick the worst possible times to show up.

"Don't you have another place to be, officer? This is private business." Oswald said to Harvey, not even bothering to use pretend politeness.

"You mean besides my desk? If you wanted a little privacy with your god o' pal Gordon here then why did you come down to the precinct? You know- you know what, I don't care and I have a feeling I'm going to dragged into this if I stay so Jim," He paused a moment, turning his attention to his partner, "I'll be outside getting a hotdog. Hell, who knows, maybe our guy might be outside getting a hotdog too." He said, sarcastically, getting up from his chair and grabbing his jacket before leaving.

"You know I told you not to come here." Jim said, going back to looking at his files.

Oswald huffed. "You owe me a favour, remember?" He said through gritted teeth. "No questions asked, remember?"

Jim sighed, "Yeah, I remember." He huffed before glancing around, glad to see none of the other cops were watching them. Then again Oswald came into the precinct (much to Jim's dismay) often enough for it not to warrant any strange looks.

"Maroni is using my dear mother to threaten me." Oswald spat.

Jim nodded, understanding why the other was in such a dark mood. "I'm not helping you kill Maroni." He stated, quietly, eyes finally meeting the other man's.

"I wasn't asking you to."

"I'm serious, Oswald. I'm not helping you kill anyone." He said, a little louder this time.

"And I'm not asking you to." Oswald repeated. "I'm asking you to spend the day with my mother. You're a cop, she needs protection, and she seems to like you. She doesn't like a lot of cops."

Jim sighed. "I have a case to work-"

"My men will take care of it."

"You really expect me to just hand this over to a bunch of criminals?"

"Fine. It'll be there tomorrow. You see, the thing about the dead is that they stay...well, dead." Oswald laughed, lightly while Jim rolled his eyes. "I have a point, you know. And as I've said, you owe me a favour. Be thankful I'm not asking for something else." He warned. He was right, Oswald did have a point. It could have been a lot worse. "

Fine, bring Ms. Kapelput here in an hour or so, alright?"

"Old friend, I'm afraid that simply won't do. You'll have to go to her."

"And why's that?"

"She can't know you're watching her. I've told mother that you wanted to spend the day with her to get to know each other better." Oswald said and Jim just gaped. "Look, she can't...She just can't know, alright?" Oswald said, sounding more desperate than usual. "She thinks I'm a nightclub owner."

"You are a nightclub owner."

"She thinks I'm just a nightclub owner. She doesn't know anything about Fish or Falcone or Maroni, or my...other work. And that's how it's going to stay." Oswald said in a low tone. "So after I saw her with Maroni the other night I told her that my good friend James Gordon, the white beacon for Gotham city, wanted to spend the day with her."

"And she doesn't think that's strange?" Oswald gave him a warning look and Jim just sighed. "Fine, fine. So where are we all going?"

"Oh, I'm not going. I have business to attend to. And no, I'm not killing anyone. I have a meeting with a new alcohol supplier."

"Fine. So where am I meeting your mom?"

"Her apartment. Most of her favourite places happen to fall on Maroni's territory so it's the safest. So, if you'll collect your things I have a car outside ready for you. And do tell mother I said hello." He said, offering Jim one last sneering smile before making his way down the stairs.

And that's how Jim Gordon ended up awkwardly sitting across from Gertrude Kapelput in her apartment.

"Ah, Detective Gordon, how happy I vas to hear you vanted to spend da day vith me."

Jim gave the older lady his most polite smile. "Well Ms. Cobblepot-"

"Kapelput." She corrected.

"Ms. Kapelput, right. So, uh..." He trailed off, trying to think of what to say to the woman. For once he actually wished Oswald was around. "You have a lovely home." He lied, looking around. The apartment was oddly decorated and cluttered with Victorian-esque furniture. Pictures in fake gold, gaudy frames cluttered the walls and Jim got up to get a closer look. For the most part it was pictures of Oswald and his mother in various stages of life, some were hung with what seemed to be the stock photos the frames came with, but the one that really caught his attention was a single photo of Oswald, who looked around ten, his mother, and a man who looked like an older version of Oswald. Same black, weirdly styled hair, same pale skin, same crooked nose, everything was the same except the eyes. He got his eyes from his mother. He picked up the photo to get a better look and heard Gertrude make an annoyed sound.

"Vhat is the only photo I keep of Ozwald's fadder, the bastard." She spit. Jim internally sighed, knowing he was about to be dragged into some sort of crazy Cobblepot family drama. "He left vhen Ozwald vas still a boy. Vent back to German homeland Vith whore. My Ozwald is nothing like that man. He vould never leave his dear old mudder."

Jim nodded, not really sure what to say. "But, it iz for the best," She continues, in a much more pleasant tone. "I still have my darling Ozwald by my side."

Jim faked a smile. "Right."

"My Ozwald, he likes you. He says you are a good man. You are a good man, detective. My Ozwald haz good judgement." Gertrude said, gently cupping Jim's face and suddenly it wasn't so hard to fake a smile. Ms. Kapelput was eccentric but she was also kind, warm, and loving. She reminded him of his own mother in a way.

"Thank you Ms. Kapelput. I try my best."

"Oh, my boy, you must be tired after vorking so hard, please sit, sit!" She said, ushering the detective back to his original seat. "My Ozwald is so buzy now dat he is successful club owner I spend so much time up here alone. I was very glad to hear I vould be having company. You and Ozwald are very close, yes?" She asked, giving Jim a suggestive look.

The back of Jim's neck began to heat up. "Well I wouldn't say that exactly, I mean, I uh..." He shut himself up when he realized that not only was he rambling but he was also making things sound more awkward than he really needed to.

"You are lovers, yes?"

"I...what?"

Ms. Kapelput laughed and Jim couldn't help but notice that Oswald had the exact same laugh. "My darling, it iz alright. I know of you and my Ozwald's relationship. It makes much sense, actually. I always vonder vhy he never brings any vomen home to his mudder."

Jim gulped. "Relationship?" He was completely taken back. Oswald had said she didn't know anything about Maroni and Falcone. Ms. Kapelput clearly loved her son and thought he could do no wrong, Jim really didn't want to have a conversation with her about the true nature of her son's line of work.

"Never has my Ozwald spent this much time avay from me. A mudder always knows vhen her child has been smitten." She said, rather bluntly, making Jim gape.

"Mrs. Kapelput I assure you, Oswald and I aren't a couple."

"Pleaze, call me Gertrude. Or mama, and it is alright, as I have said, I like you James Gordon. You make my Ozwald very happy. He talks of you constantly, you know."

Jim could feel his face turning red, making his case look less and less believable. He sighed, trying his best to gently dismiss Gertrude's claims. "Mrs. Kapel-ah, Gertrude...You're son is a very, ah...nice man but..." He paused a moment when he saw Gertrude's face. She was already stuck in the idea that her son was romantically involved with the detective. Jim sighed, it'd be much easier and less uncomfortable for the two of them if he just went along. "We just wanted to keep things between us quiet for a little while." He lied and Gertrude lit up. "A lot of the loved ones of the detectives end up in danger and we decided it would just be safer not to say anything. Wait, so what has he said about me to you?"

Gertrude smiled, cupping Jim's face again. "Ah, my Ozwald talks of you all the time, I knew he vas in love the moment he mentioned your name." Jim gulped, trying to keep the redness in his cheeks at bay.

"Right..."

"Do you love my Ozwald?" She asked, suddenly.

Jim checked his watch. "So did Oswald mention when he would be back?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"He said he would be gone an hour or so, we still have much time to talk. So, do you love my Ozwald? He loves you, a mudder knows."

"I- He does?" Jim found himself asking, a little too hopeful. It shocked himself how easily he was lying. A little too well.

Gertrude nodded. "He truly does, my boy. And I can see why. Such a kind, handsome man you are. Your parents must be so proud."

"My father passed away when I was a kid. My mother, she," He laughed, "She's been worried about me since I came back from the army."

"Oh?" Gertrude pressed for him to go on.

"She thinks I'm too involved in my work. She says I don't have enough of a social life."

Gertrude nodded. "A mudder only worries out of love. But she has raised a good child."

Jim smiled softly. "Thank you."

"So, have you and my son been...intimate?"

Jim chocked on air. "So, you were asking about me loving your son?" He said, choosing the lesser of two evils. "I uh...I do, yeah."

Gertrude beamed. "Good! You two will be together many years. I am sure."

The two spoke for some time until they heard someone near the front door. He glanced at Gertrude momentarily before cautiously approaching the front door, hoping Maroni wasn't about to try anything. "I'll be right back." He was just about to pull out his gun when Oswald opened the door, shocking Jim.

"James," Oswald smiled before craning his neck to look in the other room. "Mother, I'm back." He called.

"I should uh, I should be going. Work stuff." Jim said, flustered slightly.

Oswald gave him a questioning look but let it slide, choosing to nod instead. "Right. Thank you for your help today, old friend. It is much appreciated."

"So, your mom asked me if we've had sex." Jim said, awkwardly.

Oswald gaped. "I-I beg your pardon?"

"Next weekend. How about you and I drive down to Gotham Village."

"What?" Oswald asked, completely bewildered. "James, I was gone an hour in a half, what happened?"

"My mom lives there, and I'm sure she'd love to meet my new boyfriend." When Oswald continued to gape Jim continued. "Your mom thinks we're together...and you know..." He said, shrugging.

"And you want to keep it up for appearances?" Oswald asked, completely confused as to what was going on.

"My Oswald," Gertrude started as she entered the room, "I am glad you are home."

"Gertrude, it was nice getting to spend the day with you." Jim said, taking Gertrude's hand in his. "But I need to go home and call my mother."

Gertrude smiled kindly at Jim. "Of course, James. You must come back, visit me soon."

"Of course." He said, turning his attention to Oswald. The two looked at each other for a moment before Jim lightly kissed Oswald on the cheek. "For appearances." He whispered in Oswald's ear and he pulled away. "Next Weekend. Gotham Village."

Oswald was only able to nod, still gaping and turning a deep shade of red.

Gertrude waited until Jim left before speaking. "Him I like. You have chosen well my darling."

Oswald nodded, hastily. "Yes, I do believe I did."

"Do not let him take you away from me though."

"Of course not, mother. I would never."

"I am still wanting grandchildren. Blood relation or not, I do not care."

Oswald sighed. "Sure mom."

"Plenty of grandchildren?"

"Hundreds, mom."

Chapter Text

"Tell me why I'm here again?" Oswald asked as he and Jim stood in front of a small house.

"We're visiting at my mom's." Jim said, simply, knocking on the door.

"Yes, I know that, James. I mean why am I here? You haven't said a word to me since last week after you..." He paused a moment, face beginning to heat up at the memory of Jim kissing him on the cheek. "You know..." He continues, awkwardly looking down at the 'welcome' mat. "So why am I here?" He couldn't help but to ask himself why he even came anyway. He didn't owe Jim any favours currently and even after a week of asking he still never got an answer as to why he was meeting Jim's mother all of a sudden. Oswald couldn't help but wonder if the person inside the house even was Jim's mother and not just some hit-man Jim set up to finally kill him off. No, James Gordon would never do that. Right? Still, he had to wonder. He braced himself, ready to flee at the first possible chance, stiffening when he heard movement at door. Oswald sucked in a breath when the door finally opened, an older woman smiling softly at the two from the other side. "Oh Thank God." Oswald mumbled to himself, getting a warning pat on the back from Jim and a stern glance before the other man turned his attention to the woman.

"Hey mom, how are you?"

"Ah, James, it's nice to see you." She said, stepping aside so the two could enter. "And this must be the young man my son told me about last week." She said, taking Jim's and Oswald's coats.

Oswald smiled at her and Jim couldn't help but be a little impressed. The smile was completely different than the snide, forced-polite one he normally gave people. It actually looked genuine. Oswald must have been getting better at lying. "Yes, I am Oswald Cobblepot. Here, I brought you this. Top shelf champagne." He said, formally taking her hand in his after handing her the gift. It took everything Jim had in him not to actually roll his eyes. Turns out Oswald Cobblepot is a mama's boy no matter who's mother it is.

"Well thank you, Oswald. Such a kind gift. I hope you didn't go through too much trouble over me."

"No trouble at all."

Well let me get a good look at you." She said, taking a good look at Oswald. After a few drawn out moments she nodded to herself and smiled lightly. "You seem like a lovely young man, Oswald." She said, and Jim actually rolled his eyes this time. "James." She sternly said, catching him in the act.

"Well thank you, ma'am." Oswald said sweetly, waiting for Ms. Gordon to go put the coats away before giving Jim a rather rough pat on the back and a short, but effective glare. Jim knew the other man well enough to know that was a sign of him being uncomfortable. Jim gave Oswald one last knowing glance before his mother came back.

"Well sit down, sit down. Let me put the champagne in the fridge and I will be right back." She said, ushering the two to sit beside each other on the couch.

"So is this where you grew up?" Oswald asked, looking around the small house. It was brightly lit and cozy, completely different than the dark feel of Gotham, but that's what Gotham Village was like. "I have to say, I never pictured you a Gotham Village sort of person."

"Because I'm not. Mom didn't move here until after I left for the army. Grew up in the city, pretty close to where I live now, actually." He answered, wondering why he was bothering to share so much personal information with the other man. Maybe it had to do with where they were. Away from the city smog and gangsters Oswald seemed so much less of an enemy. Or maybe it was Oswald's clothes. Instead of his usual attire he wore a nice dark blue pullover with black dress slacks and while he was still wildly over dressed, he looked much more approachable than usual.

"So Oswald," Ms. Gordon started, "Are you a detective like James?"

"Ah, no, mom. He defiantly isn't a cop." Jim said.

"Oh, so you know him from the army then?"

"You know mom I do know people outside of work and the army."

"Oh, it's just. Forgive me, but I noticed the limp and I had just assumed..."

"Old injury from when I was a kid." Oswald lied, quickly. "Fell out of a tree when I was ten and well, here we are."

"Right." She said, choosing to drop the subject. "So, then how did the two of you meet?" She asked, looking between the two.

"It's a long story, mom." "In a bar." The two said, simultaneously, making Jim's mom raise an eyebrow.

"A bar?" She asked.

"Yes, at my nightclub." Oswald answered, smoothly, shooting a brief look at Jim. If one of them was going to lie, it ought to be the king of lies himself, after all. "Next time you're in Gotham City you should drop by." He offered.

"I don't really think your club is my mother's type, Oswald." Jim started, trying to sound calm. Oswald just had to invite his mother to one of the most well known gangster clubs in all of Gotham!

"Oh nonsense, James. Oswald, I'm not in the city that often but next time I am I will make sure to drop by." She said, smiling kindly at Oswald.

"Mom, I really don't think you'd like it there." Jim continued. "It's not really your style. I mean, well, Oswald's customers are...well..." He trailed off, trying to figure out the best way to say shady criminals without actually saying it.

Mrs. Gordon look over both both before a small 'ah' came out. "So you run a gay bar?" She asked, suddenly.

"Mom, no!"

Oswald sneered before cupping Jim's knee with his hand. He found his way of payback for what Jim said about being in love with him to his mom. "James," He started, giving Jim an overly sweet smile, "I thought we were going to tell her the truth." He said, stage whispering so Ms. Gordon would think she wasn't meant to here it. "Ms. Gordon, yes," He started, looking up at Jim with what anyone who didn't know him would think was an actual, genuine, smile. "James and I met my gay bar." He lied, squeezing Jim's knee harder. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

Jim sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Why did he think this was a good idea? He had only brought Oswald down to Gotham Village so his mom would think he was well adjusted and had a life outside of work. He wasn't intending to rush down to his mothers, come out as bisexual, and introduce her to his not-boy friend the not gangster but instead gay night club owner. It was his fault, he supposed. He could have ask someone else to join him. He could have asked Harvey to just lie and say they weren't partners and that he wasn't a cop. Or he could have just not come at all. But no, he just had to go and ask Oswald Cobblepot of all people to come down and meet his mother. This was a disaster of an idea from the start.

Ms. Gordon made another 'ah' sound before looking at her son. "James," She started, softly. "You know I love you no matter what, right? I know your father...well, we both know he wouldn't exactly have approved of that sort of lifestyle but James," She paused, waiting for Jim to finally meet his eyes. "I will always love and support you." She laughed. "You know I could you two were together the moment the two of you came in. If only you two could see the way you looked at each other."

Jim gaped. In the last week had he had two different mothers not only assume he was gay, but was also in a relationship with Oswald! How they looked at each other? Jim didn't look at Oswald like he was his lover. Jim looked over at Oswald only to find blue eyes already staring down at him. The other man had a light shade of pink framing his cheeks and Jim could tell instantly that Oswald was having similar thoughts. "I...we aren't that obvious." Jim stated, sounding like a stubborn child. He wanted to look away from the other man but he couldn't bring himself to. It was like he was looking at Oswald for the first time and by God, it was a sight. Had his eyes always been that blue? Did he always have a trail of freckles that ran through his nose to each cheek? Had Oswald always been this good looking? No. Now was not the time to have an internal crisis about the nature of his feelings for Oswald Cobblepot. The two were just occasional work associates. They weren't lovers or even friends for the matter. And yet he had taken the man to the outer end of Gotham for nothing more than a visit with his mother. God, he hadn't even taken Barbra to meet her and they were engaged! Jim sighed. Well, at least he got the sexuality crisis out of him while he was still in the army.

A moment later the phone rang, forcing the two men out of their thoughts and Ms. Gordon excused herself. The moment she was out of ear range Oswald removed his hand from Jim's knee. "So I like your mom." Oswald said, hating the silence between the two. "She's kind of like mine. You know, minus the accent and eccentric personality."

Jim sighed. "Oz..." He trailed off, unsure as to what he should say. What could he even say? He had just broken up with Lee three weeks ago and two weeks before that he was engaged to Barbra. His track record wasn't exactly the best as of late, he couldn't have a relationship with Oswald right now. He didn't even know if he wanted to! Sure he found Oswald attractive. And sure, Oswald was also funny, and cunning, and the few moments that the pair were together with Gertrude last week they might have felt like a real, honest to God, couple but that didn't change the fact that he was a cop and Oswald was a gangster. A soon to be on top of the mob food-chain gangster too if Oswald kept going how he was and somehow managed not to get himself killed. "Dammit, Oz."

Oswald's face wrinkled in confusion. "What? Look, I know you didn't really expect to fake come out today bu-"

"Shut up. Please shut up." Jim said, almost whining. Oswald was beginning to worry that he had ruined their strange relationship until Jim started laughing. "No, I really didn't want to go to my mom's house, go 'surprise ma, I'm gay' and give her the impression that I frequently hang out at gay bars." He said, almost doubling over by the end. Though it was ideal he had to admit, the whole situation was sort of comical.

Oswald laughed too and Jim could feel his stomach swish around inside him. It was the same laugh Gertrude made the week before; the one that reminded him of Oswald in the first place. "I never said you frequently went to gay clubs, James."

"Yeah but who goes to one gay club one time and somehow ends up dating the owner? Clearly I'm a regular there." He joked.

Oswald shook his head, still laughing. "Only you James Gordon could go through all this and come out laughing. Any other man would be mortified, you know. I mean, now both our parents think we're a couple- which, how did that happen, by the way? I never told mother you were anything more than just a friend."

Jim shrugged. "They both said it was the way we looked at each other." He paused, awkward tension filling the air again. The two locked eyes again and Jim gulped. "I don't see it." He lied.

"Neither do I." Oswald nodded, breathing out as he watched Jim's adam's apple bob. After a long moment Jim gently cupped Oswald left cheek in his hand and Oswald took every last ounce of willpower he had left not to melt into it.

"James." Oswald said, quietly.

Jim shuddered, feeling Oswald's warm breath on his hand. He thought about it for a moment, mentally trying to weigh the pros and cons of kissing Oswald right there on his mother's couch, when Oswald closed the gap between them and kissed Jim right on the lips. It was brief, awkward, completely closed mouth like how one would kiss their grandmother, and perfect all at once. "I don't have the best track record with relationships, you know." Jim managed to breath out.

"Well of course you don't, otherwise you wouldn't be single."

"Asshole." Jim said, with no malice, and went in again to kiss the other.

"Sorry about tha-boys! I leave the room for five minutes and this is what I come back to?" Ms. Gordon asked, hands on hips.

Jim couldn't help but feel like he was a teenager again, getting caught by his mother like that. "I thought you'd be longer." Jim said, sheepishly. Oswald just sat their, looking guilty as he whipped his mouth.

"Ah, young love." She said, smiling softly. "James, I'm glad you've finally found someone you're willing to actually bring home. You must be something real special, Oswald."

Oswald smiled, still feeling awkward. He felt like he was lying to his own mother (which, he still felt terrible about lying to her about being involved with Jim). Sure, lying to mobsters and random people was absolutely no problem, it came with the job, but these two women, one who had raised him, and one who treated him like her own, these women were different. "Thank you." He said, quietly.

"So mom, as much as we'd love to stay, we really should be leaving now. Oswald's club opens in a few hours and he needs to set up for the night." Jim said, telling the truth for the first time that visit.

The group said their goodbyes, and the two men soon found themselves standing on the front porch.

"Ah, James?" Oswald asked, trying his best not to sound nervous.

"Yeah?" He replied, quietly.

"Was this...Did you bring me here on a date?" He asked, failing to hide the hopeful tone in his voice.

Jim huffed lightly. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Oh...Alright."

"We should probably get going before my mom comes out and shoos us off her porch." Jim joked.

"Right." He nodded, beginning to hobble his way down the porch. They remained silent the first fifteen minutes in the car, just enjoying each other's company before Oswald finally broke the silence. "Jim?"

"Yeah, Oz?"

Oswald couldn't help but smile at the nickname. "You know, my mother is expecting us to start adopting kids soon." He said, in a light tone.

"Oh yeah? Are we going to move down here to Gotham Village and live a white picket fence life with two point five kids now?"

Oswald sighed, looking down at his feet. "James," He started, mood dropping drastically. "Are we really going pretend like we could make this," He paused, making a hand gesture between the two, "whole thing work?"

Jim didn't reply at first and Oswald stared at him, waiting for the other man to make up his mind. "We could try."

"We'd have to keep it secret. You would probably get fired if anyone found out."

"And you'd probably end up dead."

"Don't worry about me, old friend." Oswald grinned. "I'm pretty good at escaping death."

Jim chuckled. "Yeah, you really are." The two remained silent for a few minutes until Jim started laughing. "How did we even end up in all this? How is this my life? First I'm supposed to kill you, then you come back and I almost die."

"And then we start working with each other." Oswald said, grinning. He had to admit, it was rather unusual circumstances that led them to this point.

"Then I go to your mother's and pretend to be your boyfriend."

"Yes but you are the one who brought your mother into all this." Oswald joked.

"And now we're...here..."

The two went back into silence for a few moments before Oswald finally spoke up. "We could try."

Jim nodded. "We could try."

Oswald huffed out a laugh. "You know we went from pretend lovers to secret lovers in the course of just a week?"

Jim sighed. "You just ruined the moment, Oz."

Oswald shrugged. "We'll have plenty more, I'm sure."

"Yeah?"

"Well we'll have to, I already promised mother grandchildren."

"Quit ruining the moment!"

Chapter Text

By the time the two got back to to the city it was almost time for Oswald's club to open so Jim dropped him off with a "See you around." It was now Monday, almost a full two days since the pair had visited Jim's mother and had even spoken. It was for the best, Jim supposed. The more they were seen together the more suspicious people would become and they just couldn't risk someone finding out that they were working together, much less actually together. So, yes, it was for the best. Still, Jim couldn't help but wonder why Oswald hadn't tried reaching him in some way. Sure, Jim had told him that they needed to be discreet as possible but when had Oswald ever listened to what Jim said?

Jim sighed as he walked into the precinct, not in the mood to go back to work. He climbed the stairs to his desk, giving Ed a stiff smile when the other enthusiastically waved at him and couldn't help but be relived when the younger man didn't come over and ask any riddles though. Jim liked Ed, he was a good guy. Strange and sometimes a little annoying, but a good guy none the less.

"Hey Jim-bo." Harvey said, sitting down at his desk across from Jim's.

"Mornin' Harv."

"So how was your weekend? I tried calling your place Saturday but you never answered. Did'ya go somewhere or somethin'?"

"Yeah, Gotham Village. My mom lives down there." Jim replied, making it a point not to look up at Harvey. Harvey was a detective trained to notice any lie or fault in story. One slight mistake and Jim would be caught.

"Visiting your mom, eh?" Harvey asked, chuckling. "That wouldn't have anything to do with you playing babysitter for Penguin's mom, would it?"

Jim knew he would regret telling Harvey about Oswald's favour. Now he was paying the price. "Uh, yeah, it kind of did. Gertrude sorta reminded me of my mom so I drove down for a quick visit Saturday."

"That crazy old bat reminds you of your mom? Jesus Jim, that lady is freakin' nuts!"

Jim frowned, annoyed. How dare he insult Gertrude. "Hey, she isn't crazy, Harv. She's..." He trailed off, knowing he should have shrugged it off and not said anything.

"What? Nice?" Harvey joked.

"Yeah, Harv. She is nice."

"Yeah, well I guess you should know. You are the one who willingly spent an entire afternoon locked up in Penguin's creepy home with his nice mom."

Jim huffed. "I never said the place was creepy. And it wasn't willingly, remember? I owed Oswald a favour for getting us in Fox Glove, remember?" Jim said, a little too defensively.

Harvey rose an eyebrow. "Why are you being so defensive? I'm only kidding, Jim."

"Yeah, well...Just drop it, okay?"

"Okay, fine. So, how was your visit with your mom?" Harvey asked, trying to change the subject while still watching Jim closely. The younger detective wasn't telling him something.

"Fine. We all had a nice chat." Jim answered, trying to be as vague as possible.

"All?" Harvey asked. "You bring some lady?" He questioned, wiggling his eyebrows.

Shit Jim thought to himself. He'd been talking to Harvey two minutes and he already screwed up. How in the world was he supposed to keep a secret relationship from all of Gotham if he couldn't even do it with one person? "No, Harv. I didn't bring a woman. You know some people have more than one parent, right?" He asked, saying the first lie that came to mind. "It was my parents and me."

"Right. Sorry, man." Harvey said, realizing Jim must have forgotten that he had told him about his father's death a few weeks back when the two had first become partners. Yes, Jim Gordon was definitely lying to him. Now he just had to figure out what Jim was hiding and why he was hiding it.

"So hey, there's this bar near Fish's old place that has hot, drunk, chicks...so I've heard."

"So you've heard." Jim said, mono toned.

Harvey just shot him a look. "But anyway, you wanna check it out with me after work? I could always use a wing man and no offense but with how uptight you've been actin' lately I think you could use a roll around in the hay if you know what I mean. So, what do you say?"

"Uh," He started, but stopped when two large men came up the stairs and began walking towards him. Harvey shot him a look and slowly went for his gun.

"You James Gordon?" One of the men asked and when Jim nodded the other man handed him a small envelope. "Right then. This is for you."

Jim took the note and opened it up, noting that the two men were still standing there, waiting for something. "Uh, thanks?" He asked.

"We can't leave until we get a reply. Bosses orders." The man who handed the envelope over said.

Jim sighed. "Of course you can't."

He said before opening up the letter.

Dear James,

Come to my club around seven this evening. It will be safe there.

Sincerely yours.

Jim smiled to himself slightly. Even though he didn't sign it Jim knew it was from Oswald. It was smart too, that he didn't sign it. If the letter were to be seen by anyone else it would be suspicious. Though it was brief and only a letter, it was still nice to hear from Oswald. He quickly took a piece of paper from his desk and wrote back.

I'll be there.

Sincerely.

Once he was finished with the note he quickly folded it up a few times before handing it back to one of the men who left right after.

"So you gonna tell me what that was all about?" Harvey asked, pointing at the two men who had just walked out the entrance.

"Long story. I'll tell you later." Jim lied.

Harvey nodded. "Right. But anyway, 'bout that club I was talkin' about. You in?"

"Can't. Have plans."

The rest of the day went by far too slow for Jim so once it finally became evening Jim practically sped to Oswald's club. Though he wouldn't admit it out loud he was truly excited to get to spend some actual alone time with Oswald. Jim almost tripped over himself just getting out of his car. He went to knock but saw a small note that read 'Please come in' so he did. "Oswald?" Jim called out.

"Ah, James, so glad you could make it." Oswald said, hobbling over to the other man to greet him. He gently took his hand in his and smiled fondly.

"So where is everyone? I don't think I've ever seen this place empty before." Jim replied.

"Right, well I closed it down for the night. I thought it'd be best, you know, no witnesses or anything. Besides, it's more private this way."

Jim sighed slightly. Oswald made it sound like what they were doing was illegal. It almost was, in a way. When Jim became a detective he took an oath to protect the city and do no wrong and while sure, a grand total of none of the other detectives had followed that oath it still meant something to Jim. He took a moment to reassure himself that having a social life and dinner with a handsome man was nothing illegal before replying. "So what are we doing? Spending the evening here?"

Oswald smiled. "Why of course. I made dinner." He said, gesturing to a table near the stage filled with food.

Jim looked over at the table, surprised. The food looked delicious and there were even lit candles with strange holders that Jim instantly recognized from Oswald's apartment. "You made this?" He couldn't help but ask.

Oswald smiled, coyly. "You know I did run a restaurant not long ago."

"Yes and I also know how you got that job." Jim replied, lightly.

"True but before I started working for Fish I did work in a restaurant. Nothing too extravagant, but nice none the less. Come, let's sit." Oswald said, gesturing to Jim to take the lead.

Jim nodded and headed over to the table."I didn't know that."

Oswald chuckled as the two sat down. "There's a lot you don't know about me, James." He said, jokingly.

"You're right. We should fix that."

"Pardon?"

"So tell me more about this res-oh my God this is amazing, Oswald." Jim said after he took a bite of his steak. Oswald really could cook.

Oswald smiled, sincerely. "Thank you. I must say, I haven't cooked anything for anyone other than mother in a long time. It feels nice to know she isn't just lying to boost my ego."

"No, she obviously isn't." Jim said, taking another bite of food.

"So the restaurant." Oswald said, blushing slightly. "I started when I was either sixteen or seventeen, I was a dishwasher for about four months until the sou chef got caught stealing money from the restaurant and Falcone had him taken care of."

"Falcone?" Jim questioned.

"Right, I must have forgotten to mention, the restaurant I worked in was one of Falcone's. It was actually one of his favourite to eat lunch at, he held his more public meetings there all the time."

"So is that where you met Fish too?"

"Yes, but that's later on in the story. So anyway, another chef became the sou chef and since they wanted someone who already worked there I was given a regular cooking job. Just the simple things like salads and appetizers at first. Then about a month later the new sou chef had an accident- don't give me that look, James Gordon. Believe it or not, I actually had nothing to do with him chopping two of his fingers off."

"Sorry, go on. So now you're the sou chef, right?"

Oswald shook his head. "No, not yet."

"So you were a sou chef?"

"Yes, and if you would stop interrupting I could tell you how I became the head chef." He joked, but waited a moment to make sure Jim wouldn't interrupt before continuing to speak. "Anyway, he's out of the picture so now there is the head chef, the sou chef, me, and one other cook. About a year later the head chef has a heart attack at work and he ended up knocking over a stockpot filled with boiling broth all over the sou chef. It ends up being one dead, one in the hospital with third degree burns on his face and suddenly one of Falcone's men come in telling us he's about to come in and have lunch with the head of the families."

"So what did you do?"

"We got food from another restaurant and told them all we made it." Oswald paused to laugh. "They said it was the best meal they've ever had and to this day I swear it was my best lie ever told."

Jim couldn't help but laugh along with Oswald. It was strange to hear about Oswald's past. If he was being honest with himself he never imaged Oswald living a life before the mob. He had sort of assumed that the other man had just grown up in the life. "You sound like you really loved working there."

"I did. Best job I've ever had if I'm being one hundred percent honest. Not that I don't love my job now, just...it was safer, I suppose. Not as thrilling but never did I have to worry about being crushed to death in a car."

"What?"

"Nothing, just a saying." Oswald lied. He didn't want to get into how many times he'd been almost killed just since Jim came back to Gotham. Tonight he wanted Jim to forget he was a dangerous criminal.

"Right...So this family meeting, that's where you met Fish?"

Oswald nodded. "Sort of. Falcone introduced the other chef and I to the others but Fish and I never spoke personally. That was the day that I became the head chef, actually. Since the old one was dead and the sou chef was in the hospital."

"And how long were you head chef?"

Oswald laughed. "One day."

Jim's eyebrows rose. "One day?" He asked, grinning. "What happened?"

"I met Fish Mooney. She came by the next morning and offered me a job. She said she liked how well I could think on my toes. Turns out she ate at the restaurant we took the food from almost everyday. Caught us instantly. And well, you know the rest, I suppose."

"And how long did you work for Fish?" Jim asked.

"Too long." Oswald said, frowning. "When she offered me a job I thought I was going to be her person chef or something. I wasted ten years of my life holding an umbrella for that...ugh."

"So is that why you've been moving up the ranks so fast lately?"

"I supposed I am trying to make up for lost time. But enough about me, how about yourself? Tell me about James Gordon." Oswald said, head resting on his hands.

"Well, I defiantly don't have any outrageous stories like you, that's for sure. I've had a pretty normal life considering we live in Gotham."

Oswald smiled. "Ah yes, Gotham is...well, Gotham. And home is home after all."

Jim smiled slightly. "Yeah, home is home." He repeated.

The two talked for the next two hours before Jim yawned. "Er, sorry."

Oswald held up his hand. "No apologies needed, James. It is getting late after all. How about you go home and get some rest, you have work in the morning."

"What about you?"

"Well you see James, the thing about nightclubs is that they open at night." Oswald teased before Jim kissed him lightly.

"You're such a smartass." Jim said, cupping Oswald's face.

"I like to think I'm just cheeky."

Jim kissed him again. "That's the same thing."

"Perhaps." Oswald said, breathlessly. "But you really should go get some rest, James." He said after Jim yawned again.

"Sorry." He said, yawning once more.

"No worries, we will see one another soon, I'm sure."

"How 'bout tomorrow? Lunch?"

"You want me to come to the precinct and have lunch with you?" Oswald asked. "James, I'm fairly sure someone would notice if I walked in there carrying a picnic basket."

"I get an hour lunch. I'll slip away."

"Fine. We can meet here, it'll still be closed."

"Good." Jim said, giving Oswald one last kiss before grabbing his coat to leave. "And don't worry, I'll bring the picnic basket." He joked, making Oswald roll his eyes fondly. "Night Os."

"Goodnight, James. Call me when you get home, alright?"

"Sure." He said, leaving. The moment Jim left the club he had regretted not looking around first. Within five steps of exiting Oswald's club he ran straight into Harvey who had a clearly drunk girl on his arm. Harvey had just gotten out of the club across the street from Oswald's. "Uh...Harvey..." He greeted.

"Jim? Did you just come from Penguin's club?" He asked.

Jim sighed, knowing he couldn't deny it. "Uh, yeah, I did."

Harvey nodded, taking note of Jim's appearance. His lips were slightly swollen and he his face had a tint of blush on it. He then looked over at Oswald's club and noticed that it wasn't open. It must have just been the two of them in there. Did this have to do with what Jim was lying about earlier? He opened his mouth to say something but his date shifted under him, making him remember she was there. He glanced down at here, then back at Jim and nodded. "Well okay then. See you tomorrow. Eleven o'clock." He said, starting to walk back to his car.

"We start work at nine." Jim responded.

"Yeah but I'm feeling eleven." Harvey said.

Jim yawned. "Right, uh, night Harv." Jim said, awkwardly. How was he going to explain this to Harvey when he asked in the morning?

"Yup. Night, Jim-bo."

Jim went back into his car and sat there a minute in silence. "Shit." He mumbled before grabbing his phone from his pocket. It rang twice before Oswald answered. "Os, we-"

"I know. I saw it from the window. What does he know?"

"He didn't say anything or ask any questions. I'm hoping he's too drunk to remember this happened and if not I'll figure out something."

Oswald sighed. "Just...let me know, alright? And don't come tomorrow if he's suspicious."

Jim nodded to himself. "Right, I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright." Oswald said, "goodnight, James." He said before hanging up and dialing another number. "Butch, see if Zsasz is available. I'm fairly certain I will be needing his assistance in the near future."