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Chapter Text

The atmosphere in the restaurant was cozy, wooden lamps overhead illuminating the room with a yellowish golden hue. The table in between them was filled to the edges with various liyuen delicacies. Baskets full of rice buns and crystal shrimp, bowls of dragon beard noodles and black-back perch stew and plates and platters with grilled tiger fish skewers, minty meat rolls and mora meat. In between, a teapot filled with white tea and a bottle of baiju.

Childe did his best to grab a crystal shrimp with his chopsticks, very carefully lifting them to his own plate. As much as he still struggled with them, he really was determined to master the skill. Especially after a certain funeral consultant gifted him a beautiful pair of chopsticks.

He almost dropped the shrimp, managing to keep holding onto it to the last second, so when it fell it fell on his plate. A pair of golden eyes watched him intently. Childe carefully picked the shrimp up again and successfully moved it between his lips.

“You are slowly getting better,” Zhongli said, gently blowing on his cup of tea. In this lighting, his amber eyes were even more striking than out in broad daylight, looking almost as if they were glowing.

“You think so?”

“Slowly. You will still need to practice more,” the older man replied, slowly taking a sip of his tea.

For the harbinger, this was high praise already. After all, it hadn’t been long since he stopped just stabbing his food and almost bringing Zhongli to the brink of a nervous breakdown. He was trying, he really was.

The funeral consultant picked everything up with practiced ease. But, to be fair, the man had thousands of years of practice. So Childe struggling still after a few months shouldn’t be too embarrassing.

“Say, Childe,” Zhongli said softly. “When should we start with the planning? I was going to suggest a wedding in late spring, I know the summer here is a bit too warm for your liking. But late spring would be warm enough for an outdoor venue without it being too warm. And everything would be blooming, it would make for quite a beautiful backdrop. Except you would prefer autumn or winter instead?”

The younger man stared at him in utter confusion. “What?”

“If autumn or winter would be more agreeable for you, that is fine as well. I assume you will be inviting your family, and even the liyuen spring might be a bit much for them, considering they are used to snezhnayan temperatures. If you would prefer to wait another year… That is fine as well.”

“Xiansheng, I have no clue what you are talking about. Did you get into the baiju without me noticing? You aren’t drunk, are you?” Childe said with a laugh.

Zhongli looked taken aback. “What do you mean you don’t know what I’m talking about?”

“I’m not getting married to anyone? Did Ekaterina tell you that? What did I do to her that she’d prank me like that!” The ginger said exasperatedly, leaning back in his chair. He would have to talk to his secretary. “And you didn’t find it odd that I never mentioned it myself? Trust me xiansheng, if I was dating someone, you’d probably know about it. Seeing as I’m spending a good amount of my free time with you.”

The former archon frowned ever so slightly. Trying to piece together this new information. So Childe didn’t see himself as dating anyone? But he had happily accepted the phoenix and dragon patterned chopsticks? Hadn’t they been dating for a while at that point? But clearly, Childe did not agree with this viewpoint. Didn’t he understand the significance of the chopsticks?

It suddenly hit him.

Childe was from Snezhnaya. Of course he was, he knew that.

What he hadn’t considered, was that Snezhnaya had completely different customs. Most likely, those chopsticks were only that for Childe – chopsticks. Without any further significance. And clearly, Zhongli had completely misunderstood the nature of their relationship for a while now.

How embarrassing.

“I… I apologize, there must have been a misunderstanding. Nothing your secretary was involved in, I promise,” he said quickly, hoping Childe wouldn’t question him further.

The fatui harbinger was looking intently at his food. “I never even thought about it,” he said. “I mean I did, but not really as something that’s in my future.”

“Some people never want to marry,” Zhongli replied softly.

Childe reached for the baiju, pouring some in both of their glasses. “That’s not it, I think. You know more about me than most other people do. With my past, the way I have been changed by the abyss, and with my line of work… I just don’t think a marriage is in my future.”

“Well, you can never know, sometimes the right person is found. I certainly never thought retirement would be in my future. But I do understand how you feel. It is… much like I myself think, I guess,” the brunette admitted.

After all, he had never thought about marriage either, prior to meeting a certain snezhnayan diplomat. And now, after this whole misunderstanding, he slowly started to understand just how wrong he had been. How could he just assume that Childe would be interested in him like this? How could he misread everything that badly?

“Mhm, I guess for someone like you, marriage is kind of futile, isn’t it? Except maybe an adepti. But there aren’t many left of them, are there? Maybe that secretary of the Tianquan. The girl with the horns?” Childe grinned a little, hoping to raise the mood a little bit.

Zhongli grimaced. “I’ve known Ganyu for a very long time. Even… before I received my gnosis,” he said carefully, trying not to give too much away for anyone that might catch a bit of their conversation.

The gnoses weren’t common knowledge, it was something only the archons knew about. And well, the fatui, seeing as they were tasked with obtaining them. And the traveler now as well. So nobody that would walk by would understand he was referring to the archon war era.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Childe asked, carefully picking up a crystal shrimp.

“I have watched her grow up. She is more like… almost a daughter, I guess. I couldn’t see her in a romantic way.” And besides, there already was someone that his heart wanted. But that person suddenly was much further out of his reach than he had ever thought.

Childe nodded in understanding. There were little girls in Morepesok that he had watched growing up, it would feel weird pursuing any of those, too. It would feel weird pursuing anyone considering he knew exactly who he wanted.

Zhongli sighed softly, reaching for the glass of baiju. He raised it, waiting for Childe to join him, and then quickly jerked his head back, letting the alcohol coat the back of his throat. He’d need many more of those tonight to forget the embarrassment he felt.

Several glasses of baiju later, he only felt remotely better. Still very much embarrassed. That the ginger had taken off his red scarf and loosened a few buttons of his uniform didn’t help either. Childe looked good in this lighting. Well, he always looked good, but the glow of the traditional liyuen lamps brought out the copper sheen in the other mans hair, making it look like his hair was made of precious metal. Something he, as the lord of geo, knew to appreciate.

Though, the downside was that in this kind of lighting, the faint dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks almost disappeared. They were better visible in the broad daylight, littering his face like stars in the night sky. Zhongli often caught himself thinking that he wanted to trace along them, draw invisible lines between the markings.

And his normally quite dull blue eyes looked best under the bright blue sky or close to the sea, the blue of his surroundings making his eyes stand out even more. He often wondered if they had been different before Childe was tainted by the abyss. Had his eyes once sparkled with childlike wonder? Would they ever again?

Maybe the right person would bring Childe so much joy, that his eyes would indeed start to shine again. Sometimes, when they were together, he almost thought they looked a little less dull. He had thought maybe he could be that person. But after what had happened this evening, he didn’t think he ever would be.

Which was fine. He was satisfied just being… were they friends, at least? Or had he misjudged that badly? Did Childe maybe still only see him as a work related contact, even if most of their time spent together was not focused on any sort of business? Or was Zhongli’s rambling about liyuen culture what kept him valuable for the fatui harbinger for now?

No, he didn’t want to think like that. He didn’t want to think that Childe was only seeing him as a walking encyclopaedia. They wouldn’t spend that much time together if that was the case. After all, they spent almost all of their free time together, save for the early mornings and their night-time routine.

Very helpfully, his brain supplied him with images of how Childe might look in the mornings. With sleep tousled hair and a soft, relaxed expression. Tangled into expensive silk sheets and furs. No, no he shouldn’t follow that train of thought. This was nothing he would ever be permitted to see. A sight that was not intended for his eyes.

“Xiansheng? Are you alright?” Childe looked at him carefully. The brunette had been spacing out for a little while, making him worry. He wasn’t used to that. Sure, Zhongli would frequently get lost in thoughts for a short moment, but usually he didn’t look quite as pained as he did just now. Which said a lot, because the former archon wasn’t easy to read.

Usually he kept a quite neutral facial expression. But Childe had learnt to read his micro expressions, had learnt what the slightest twitch of an eyebrow or the smallest change of the position of the corner of his mouth meant. And very rarely, he would be a little more obvious. His mouth twitching into a tiny, pleased smile or the hint of a frown showing itself.

Childe wondered, if Zhongli ever openly showed his emotions, or if being so hard to read was part of him being an archon, or even just his geo element. Would someone who was closer to him get to see a real smile? Hear him actually laugh, and not just a restrained, barely audible chuckle? Or the opposite, see him when he was sad, grieving those he lost in the past?

“Ah, I apologize, I was just lost in thought for a moment,” Zhongli admitted, reaching for his tea.

“Mora for your thoughts?”

“Nothing of importance. Just… thinking about maybe not getting up so early in the morning for once,” he said, evading the truth.

“Mhm, that’s a good idea. I was always sure you’d be awake by dawn the latest,” Childe said with a chuckle.

Zhongli took the last sip of his tea and set down the empty cup. “Adepti don’t need to sleep as much as humans do. So usually if I go to sleep by midnight, I am rested by sunrise. But, we can of course sleep longer, just for pleasure’s sake. And I’m afraid, if I would get exposed to freezing temperatures for prolonged periods, I would sleep more as well.”

Childe blinked for a moment and then blurted out “Basically like a lizard,” before slapping his hands in front of his mouth. He should stop with the alcohol. He really, really should.

Had he really just called Zhongli – formerly known as Morax and rex lapis, the geo archon who was the oldest of the seven and god of contracts, commerce, war and history, the prime adeptus who was half dragon and half qillin, legendary for his immense knowledge, wisdom and battle prowess – a lizard?

Bright amber eyes settled on him, an eyebrow raising. Childe steeled himself mentally. Then, after what seemed to be an eternity but probably was only seconds, Zhongli let out a huffed laugh. “I suppose,” he said while shaking his head gently.

“No offense of course, I’m sorry it really just immediately reminded me of that,” the harbinger piped up sheepishly.

The adeptus watched him with amused expression. “None taken, do not worry. It is essentially true, what is a dragon in its core if not an enormous reptile? I may not hibernate, but my body does indeed slow a bit down in the cold. Hence why I’ve rarely set foot into Snezhnaya.”

“But you were there at some point?” Childe asked curiously.

Zhongli rested his chin on his hand, cor lapis coloured eyes watching him intently. “A very, very long time ago, long before the war even. I was barely an adult by then. Just a little bit older than you are now, and it certainly has changed significantly in all that time.”

“I assume you didn’t like it much, if you’ve never been back,” Childe replied. He didn’t take any offense to this, especially not after learning that the geo archon had an aversion to the cold. In his case, it was completely understandable why he would prefer to stay away from the freezing conditions of Childes home.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Zhongli reached for his cup with his free hand, taking a sip of tea. “Actually, quite the opposite. I may not feel the best in cold conditions, but Snezhnaya was certainly a beautiful sight. That I have never been back simply had to do with the war, and being too busy to really travel anywhere afterwards. I have fond memories of the time I was there.”

That was an unexpected answer. It made the harbinger feel a little warm, knowing that the ex archon had enjoyed his stay in his homeland, even if it had happened thousands of years before Childes birth.

“Not to say, I’ve craved a dish called… pelmeni, I believe it was, several times since then, but I’ve just never had the time to go. I don’t know if it’s still a dish cooked nowadays,” Zhongli admitted, sighing softly. “I can’t speak snezhnayan, and the people couldn’t speak liyuen, the common tongue was only introduced a long time after. So I sadly couldn’t even ask someone to teach me to make it myself.”

Childe smiled softly. Pelmeni, huh? One of his favourite comfort foods, that his mother would make whenever any of them would feel under the weather, whether it was actually being sick or just being in a bad mood.

“You want to learn how to make them? I can teach you,” he offered, putting a crystal shrimp inside his mouth and chewing slowly.

Zhonglis eyes lit up, like cor lapis carved lanterns. “You know how to make them?”

“I can teach you the way my mamotchka taught me to make them. The recipe was passed down in my family through generations. I’m sure she would be honored if you like it.” Childe chuckled, thinking of what his mother would say if she knew the geo archon himself was going to learn her pelmeni recipe.

“You would really teach me? Even if it’s a family recipe?” The consultant looked at him wide eyed, tea cup in his hand completely forgotten. “This must be a special recipe after all, I wouldn’t want to anger your… mamo…ka?”

Childe felt his face go warm at Zhonglis worries, and his attempt at pronouncing the snezhnayan word. “Ma-mo-t-ch-ka,” he spelled out slowly. “It the same word as mommy in the common tongue,” he added.

“Ma-mo-t-ch-ka,” Zhongli repeated slowly, then again faster, more sure this time.

“You got it.” Childe grinned.

Trying not to think too hard about the way Zhongli pronounced the word, with just a hint of a liyuen accent. Trying not to think too hard about how Zhongli would sound speaking snezhnayan, how his pleasant voice would roll and rumble with the words. Nope, nope, he couldn’t think about it, that was not a good idea.

“So what do you say, how about I pick you up from the funeral parlor tomorrow evening. Then we’ll go to my apartment and make it together?” the fatui offered.

Zhongli nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips. “I would love that.”

Childe almost dropped his chopsticks. Be still, my heart.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Childe got up extra early. The market stalls at the harbour always had ingredients of high quality. But Zhongli had once told him that the absolute best quality could be bought right around sunrise, right when the stalls were opening.

Almost everyone was peculiar about something in their lives. He knew Zhongli was peculiar about food in the sense that he liked the ingredients used to be the best available quality. Childe liked that too, but growing up in Snezhnaya with harsh conditions all year, often you had to make do with whatever quality you could find or whatever you still had in storage from the short time window where the ground would yield crops.

Additionally, growing up rather poor, most of the times he was just happy to eat. Sure, now he could afford fancy dishes in any restaurant. But he would never forget the days where he was glad to have some bread and maybe a piece of cheese.

His mother taught him how to cook meals with what they had and could afford. And thanks to her, he still liked to cook, even if he came around to it much less now. Back when he was still stationed in Snezhnaya and went back home more regularly, he would often cook so his mother would get a break.

It had been almost a year since he last was in Snezhnaya, he realized as he was fixing his scarf. Time was really flying. Almost four months ago, he had gone to Mt. Tianheng with Zhongli, far away from any people that might have been able to listen to them talk. And then they had talked about what had happened two weeks before that, when Childe awoke Osial, the jade chamber came crashing down from the skies and rex lapis gave up his gnosis.

Initially after everything, Zhongli had avoided him, which pissed him off even more than having been used as a pawn. So one day, after about two weeks, he walked into Wangsheng funeral parlour and demanded to speak to Zhongli. When the older man told him that he was more than willing to talk about everything, but not here, Childe had just grabbed his arm and started dragging him outside of the harbour.

Away from everyone, they talked. Zhongli let him vent his frustrations, his accusations that every interaction had been fake, and that he had played him from the start. Actually, the former archon staying calm and listening to him intently just pissed him off even more at first.

But he took his time to reply to everything as well as he could. Explaining and reassuring him that he genuinely did enjoy spending time with him. That getting close to him wasn’t part of his initial plan, but he couldn’t help it when being around Childe was so enjoyable.

Chile didn’t ask every question he wanted to. Some, he felt, were probably better asked at another time. Most important was to establish where they were standing and find his footing again. Their talk was quite successful at that, seeing as they were back to their old routines.

Moreso, there was a slight difference in Zhongli’s behaviour. Childe couldn’t know for sure what the cause was, but it felt like he was a bit more relaxed, a little less stiff. A little less guarded, thinking about his replies just a little bit shorter. Maybe he did feel more relaxed, now that Childe knew who he was.

He didn’t have to keep up his normal human appearance as much around him. It didn’t matter if he mentioned events that were ancient history, he didn’t have to make up reasons why he knew certain things around Childe. He knew it was because Zhongli had been there. And he really liked when the consultant talked like that.

Whenever Zhongli spoke about Liyue in any way, he always sounded proud. It was a stark contrast to what he was used from the Tsaritsa, who hardly had any emotion in her voice at all. But Zhongli always seemed to be so proud of his nation and his people, of how far they’ve come since the days of primitive civilization to the modern day.

Other than many other archons, rex lapis had been directly involved in the rise of his nation. He himself had worked with the early farmers, showed them how to best utilise the soil and showed the people how to build houses and tools. Childe remembered reading that some of the lotus plants in the harbour had been planted by rex lapis himself. He would have to ask Zhongli sometime if that was really true.

Childe put on his earring and mask, and looked over his appearance in the mirror. When he was happy with it, he exited his apartment and started walking towards the docks. The sky above Liyue harbour was starting to turn all kinds of colours, slowly but surely getting lighter as the sun was rising. He took his time, enjoying the morning breeze before the air would start to heat up again.

The city was starting to come to life. Maids were running the first errands of the day, a few sailors stood in front of food stalls waiting for breakfast, the blacksmith was haggling with one of the ore merchants and an old lady was walking her tiny dog.

When Childe thought really hard, he felt more at home in Liyue than he did in Snezhnaya. Morepesok was a tiny village, the house where he grew up was in the very outskirts of it, right where thick forest started to take over the surroundings. An almost half hour walk for anything they needed from the village.

He didn’t really have friends there. There was Anya, who lived in a house close by and who was almost his age. They had grown up together and they had been friends. She had noticed the change after he had gone missing. But somehow, she tried to stay in contact with him, never pushing him to explain himself. Even when he joined the fatui, she wrote him letters. Just the other month, he had received one.

In the fatui, he didn’t really have friends either. There was his secretary, Katya, who he was on good terms with. A little closer than just straight up work related. She would make sure to get him to leave when she noticed he was overworking himself again. Scaramouche was a little shit, but he could be tolerable at times. Else, he preferred to keep his distance.

But staying in Liyue had yielded unexpected friendships. First Zhongli, then through being at the funeral parlour all the time Hu Tao as well. Then Lumine, who – like clockwork – appeared every Monday for their weekly sparring session and did not fail to kick his ass. Then, after his falling out with Zhongli, when he spent an evening drinking firewater down at the docks to drown his sorrows, he was joined by captain Beidou and made fast friends with her over the alcohol.

Of course, Xiangling and her father as well. He ate lunch or dinner with Zhongli at Wanmin restaurant frequently, and the young girl seemed to be so open. She didn’t care that he was a fatui harbinger, she just cared that he enjoyed the food and was happy to try any new dishes she came up with.

Then he had also started to make friends with Xingqiu and Chongyun, after he helped them with the Oceanid one time. For some reason, they had thought they could take it down themselves and were in over their heads. Childe was on a walk and heard them yell, and decided to go check on them. With a little bit of electro from his delusion he was able to help them get the upper hand and defeat the Lochfolk.

Afterwards, they walked back to the harbour together, the teenagers chatting with him idly. They knew he was a harbinger but they didn’t seem to care. They talked to him like a normal person. Ever since then, whenever they would accept difficult commissions, they’d come to Northland Bank and ask for him.

And Liyue felt so warm. The temperature was very mild most of the time, save for some days in autumn and winter. But then the whole atmosphere of Liyue seemed to be warm, peaceful and cosy. A polar opposite to Snezhnaya, which was always freezing cold and where people were suspicious of each other. Even inside the buildings it was always too cold, the only place in the house that was warm was directly next to the stove or fireplace.

The people of the harbour had been suspicious of him of course. But after the Qixing had cleared his reputation at Zhongli’s request, they seemed to become less cautious of him. And the more time he spent here, they slowly warmed up to him.

While he was thinking, he had reached the market stalls. There weren’t too many people there yet, so he was sure he would get everything he needed. First, he made sure to get a nice chunk of good quality meat. Next, some eggs, butter and onions.

He wondered if he should try and make some snezhnayan honey cake too. He could go to work later this morning and make it, it was best if it was left for a few hours to absorb the cream. So by evening, it’d taste even better. He didn’t know if Zhongli liked sweet things much, he admittedly had never really seen him eat sweets a lot. But most people liked desserts, didn’t they?

Childe sighed and made his way to the small snezhnayan specialty merchant. He’d need some smetana and honey. If Zhongli ended up not liking it, he could just eat the whole cake himself. Wallow in the misery of his one sided crush and drown his sorrows with cake for once instead of firewater or baijiu. Maybe the healthier option. At least for his liver.

When he had everything, he made his way back to his apartment. Going to work later wouldn’t be a problem, Katya was used to him not coming in at a regular time when he didn’t have any appointments.

 So he could just prepare the honey cake, and then go and deal with whatever paperwork was waiting for him at Northland Bank. For lunch, he’d go and pick up Zhongli at the funeral parlour. Childe just couldn’t help it. Even if it sometimes hurt, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with the funeral consultant. When he arrived at his apartment, he quickly started working on the sweet treat.

His mind went back to Zhongli’s questions about his supposed wedding yesterday. Really, where had he gotten the idea? Especially if Katya didn’t have anything to do with it? He would try and sneakily ask him about it some other time. Even if he tried not to show it, the other man’s words had struck a vulnerable point.

When he was younger, he had thought about marriage. Not much anymore after falling into the abyss. Who would even want to marry someone like him? Of course he might be able to hide his abyss side from a normal human. But years down the line, it would become more difficult. He still almost looked barely like an adult, even though he was in his mid-twenties.

So if he intended to marry someone, he should be honest. They should know that he would outlive them, safe for the scenario that something got him killed. And well, what person wanted to be married to an abyss monster? Or even just someone who would outlive them? Nobody.

The only person he felt would be able to cope with someone like him, had glowing eyes the colour of the highest quality cor lapis. And even that… Rex Lapis, the geo archon, marrying an abyss monster? That sounded like a bad comedic play. Zhongli wouldn’t have feelings like that for someone like him. It was true that Zhongli didn’t seem to mind his connection to the abyss, though he’d never seen his foul legacy, he strongly assumed that the former archon felt the abyss taint the same as the Tsaritsa did.

If the god felt romantic love at all, it would be for someone truly special. And Zhongli deserved the best of the best. Childe remembered reading about the goddess of dust once. People had said that there might have been a romantic relationship between her and Rex Lapis, as they were very close and lead the guili assembly together. Was this the truth, had they been a couple? He knew Guizhong had passed away in the archon war, maybe she had been the love of his life and someone he was still grieving?

After reading it, he had wanted to ask Zhongli about it, about her. She seemed to have been very beloved by her people, texts praising her intelligence, beauty and gentle nature. But he didn’t want to cause the other man pain, remembering her surely would be painful, even more so if he loved her. But he couldn’t stop from wondering if they really had been in love or if it was just something people had interpreted their close relationship as?

Childe sighed. Why were these things so complicated? Could life not just be easy? Couldn’t he just walk up to Zhongli and confess? Well, of course he could even with how things were, but he was sure he wouldn’t get anywhere. And he didn’t want Zhongli to look at him with pity in his eyes. Or worse, amuse him and go along with dating him, just so Childe wouldn’t feel bad.

 He put the first two cake layers into his oven, getting to work on cutting the others out. He should get an award, Childe thought. Something like “dumbest man in Teyvat of the year” or maybe even of the century. Who fell in love with a god?! Nobody who’s actually smart. But no, he saw a beautiful man with a smooth and deep voice and woosh, fell at first sight.

And at first, it had seemed like a possibility. Even though he hadn’t known how old exactly Zhongli was, he didn’t seem that much older than him looks-wise. They both got along very well and sometimes Zhongli would give the smallest smile and it would make Childe’s heart flutter excitedly. Sometimes they would brush against each other, shoulders or hands, just briefly while walking. There was a weird feeling in his stomach, that he’d later came to understand was what people meant when they were talking about butterflies in ones stomach.

But then everything had changed when he learnt who Zhongli was. He hadn’t only felt betrayed, he also felt heartbroken and used. Sure, the former archon apologized for the hurt he caused, but he didn’t know that he was utterly in love with him. He wondered what Zhongli would have said if he knew. Would he have been even more apologetic? Or rather not acknowledge it at all?

Childe groaned, trying to concentrate on finishing the honey cake. He couldn’t keep getting distracted, what use was it to mull over what would happen if Zhongli knew about his feelings? Nothing would happen. That, or Zhongli would start to avoid him and he couldn’t take that risk.

He looked over to the small clock on his kitchen counter and decided he should better hurry up a bit. He didn’t want to let Katya wait too long, and the longer the cake could rest, the better. He made quick work of the cream and stacking everything together, and placed it into the cold cabinet. He checked the thickness of the ice plates and decided he’d have to go and buy some new ones tomorrow or so. There was a cryo user in the harbor who sold them, they were much colder than regular ice and held longer, stacking them in a cold cabinet helped keep things fresh.

Then he made sure his clothes were still clean and started walking towards Northland Bank. He couldn’t wait for the evening.

Chapter Text

Throughout his life, he had many names and titles. When he was born, as the only child of a dragon father and a qilin mother, they named him Morax. They liked this name because they felt it sounded strong, but gentle all the same. A name fitting both of their species and their respective ideals.

He used this name for a long time, when he first started being seen as a leader by his fellow adepti, when he ascended to godhood and received the title of Lord of Geo. As well as during the years of leading the guili assembly, the archon war and receiving his gnosis.

During the years of the war, he received many more titles. The Warrior God, the Groundbreaker, God of History, Wealth and Commerce. Around that time, people started to refer to him as Rex Lapis. A title born of their reverence and worship. He himself had never really used the title, never introduced himself to anyone with it. It was just what the people of Liyue preferred to call him.

He had many names that he used to wander Liyue in various forms. For a while, he had been a fisherman named Junfeng. Then an opera performer named Yulong. Tianyu was the name he used when he worked as an ore merchant. Sometimes, he’d take female forms as well. As Meilin, he sold flowers. Yuzhen worked in a teahouse for a few years and Daiyu made and sold jewellery.

The most recent name was Zhongli, the consultant of Wangsheng funeral parlour. He had only used this name for a few years so far, not long enough for anyone to grow suspicious of him yet. Though Hu Tao was convinced of him being an adepti, even if he never confirmed anything. Her suspicion simply came from his large and obscure knowledge of things long past.

Each name still was the person that once started life with the name of Morax. But they weren’t quite the same person still. Every name was like a layer of his whole being. He didn’t want someone he cared about addressing him as Rex Lapis, safe for some of his adepti that insisted. Alatus would probably combust at the mere thought of calling him Zhongli.

Asking someone to call him Morax also felt odd nowadays. There were people still calling him that, which were mostly those he’d known for a long time. Hearing la signora call him Morax already felt wrong. Though he could never decide if he would like it if Childe would call him Morax.

It probably had to do with the fact that Morax was his birth name. In that regard, it was the most intimate thing to call him, the name his parents had chosen for him and the name that had been his for the longest. But at the same time, a large timespan of when he was called Morax, he had been young and foolish. Full of bloodlust and hunger for battle. Sure, he had fought to protect his and Guizhong’s people. But he had also fought because he had liked it.

And he had been much more prone to anger. Dragons were prideful creatures, impatient at the worst of times. He had done his fair share of violent mistakes. Qilin on the other hand, were gentle creatures, which was a feature that only started to come out more later in his life. It was only natural that he would have characteristics of both of his parents. But being a hybrid of such opposites brought its challenges.

So in a way, a new name was like turning to a new page for him. Zhongli appeared unburdened by Morax’s mistakes to the people he met. Nobody knew who he was, safe for a select few. But if he would introduce himself as Morax, people’s view of him would always be coloured of how they saw his past actions, no matter how different he was now. As Zhongli, he had the chance to be better than his past.

He liked how Childe said this name. The way he couldn’t quite master the pronunciation at the very beginning, snezhnayan tongue unpractised around the liyuen name. They had only met briefly and been introduced, so Zhongli hadn’t taken much offense, after all Childe had only arrived in Liyue. To his surprise, when they met again the following morning, his pronunciation was perfect. He sometimes wondered if Childe had spent his evening practising. Maybe he would dare to ask him sometime. The thought of the young man caring so much made him feel warm, even if It might not be the truth.

He sometimes wondered if there was a name Childe kept hidden as well. Zhongli knew of his harbinger name, Tartaglia. And when they met, he had told him to just call him Childe. But he felt like that was just another name, another mask. Maybe creating a new persona with every new name. Because he had seen how Childe was as  Tartaglia, talking to his subordinates and handling fatui business. So who was underneath all that? Would he ever find out? How much of that man did he even know?

Zhongli sighed. His thoughts circled around the ginger all too often. Even now, sitting in his office, he was thinking about him. Even though it had only been a few hours since he had met him for lunch. And it would only be a few more hours until they’d meet again, this time for dinner.

Though this time, dinner felt like a much more intimate affair than usually, considering they would be cooking together. It was stupid, really, but he couldn’t help but be excited. He knew where Childe lived, he had briefly been invited into his home once when he had been a bit too early to pick him up. But he only stood in the little entryway, not wanting to intrude any further. This time, he would see more of it. Maybe sating a tiny bit of his curiosity.

He couldn’t help being excited to spend time with Childe. Even though he knew his real identity, the snezhnayan did not treat him any differently than before. Zhongli didn’t have to keep his façade up as tightly as he had to with others in the harbour. He could talk more or less freely, not having to worry constantly. It was relaxing. Keeping up his mortal appearance took enough concentration already, so not having to monitor his own words as much as with others felt liberating.

That was one of the reasons why he kept his coat and gloves on at all times when out and about. If his concentration would slip up and someone would see his arms, it would be a dead giveaway of his identity. Worse even than if they happened to see his horns or any scales. Lots of adepti had horns or scales.

But his blackened arms with lines of geo energy running along them were the most notable, most unique feature of his true form. Even liyuen children knew that those were the arms of Rex Lapis. So it was of utmost importance that nobody would see them.

Zhongli wondered what Childe would think of them. Or of his whole true form. He wouldn’t be frightened, would he? Ah, but it certainly wouldn’t be… appealing to him, either. Not that he thought he looked appealing to Childe in the first place. Chances were high that he didn’t even like men.

Of course the thought of just taking a female form and trying to woo the snezhnayan man like that had crossed his mind. But it didn’t feel right. And a male form still was what he was most comfortable in. Sure, he had lived as women in the past, but only for short periods of time. Changing back into his original form or into a male body felt… relieving, almost.

And something in him longed to be loved the way he was. To be loved as a man, by a man. And maybe be loved by someone, who was able to accept his true form and true self. Where he didn’t have to hide half of who he was. Where he could be honest with his words and his actions, and didn’t have to constantly monitor and fine-tune himself like he did so often when talking to people.

There was a first time for everything. He had a lot of firsts over the course of his long life. This wasn’t the first time that he was longing for love. But it was his first time feeling romantic love for someone. The first time that he wanted someone to love him back. Even if he knew it wouldn’t happen, he couldn’t stop himself from daydreaming at times. Thinking of cosy, domestic bliss. Of friendly spars, laughter filling the air while they were spurring each other on, before tumbling to the ground together –

A knock on the door of his office ripped him away from his train of thought. “Come in,” he said quickly.

The door opened quietly and the ferrylady stepped into the doorway. Behind her, a hint of ginger hair. “Zhongli-xiansheng, sorry to disturb you. Childe asked for you.”

Childe moved a little, peeking at him from behind her, waving his hand in greeting. Zhongli couldn’t help a smile and answering with a small wave of his own.

“Thank you, I’ll just be finishing this paper, do you mind waiting in my office for a few minutes?” he asked while the ferrylady retreated to the front desk.

The harbinger stepped into his office, carefully closing the door behind him. “Not at all, take your time. I’m a little bit early, but I thought I’d just come over and if you’re still busy I’d just wait,” he replied, walking over to the armchairs to the side and settling down in one of them. They’d done this often enough, both of them used to waiting a short while for the other in their respective offices.

As usual, Childe busied himself by looking around the office. Zhongli managed to finish reading the paper – that had been in front of him for about an hour, most of it spent thinking about other things, he now realized. He quickly made a few notes in the margins with a fine brush, before signing the paper.

He got up and smoothed down his coat. Picking up the paper, he looked over to Childe. “I’m done,” he said gently.

“Already? You didn’t need to hurry because of me,” the ginger assured.

“Don’t worry, I was already almost done when you arrived. I just had to add a few notes to the instructions,” Zhongli said, walking over to open the door again. “Sometimes over time, parts of traditional rites get forgotten when writing them down. This was such a case, director Hu wanted me to make sure it would get archived with complete and accurate instructions, so the knowledge would be preserved for the future generations of funeral directors.”

“Huh. Liyue sure puts a lot of importance on funeral rites,” Childe mused, walking behind him.

“Do they not in Snezhnaya?” the consultant asked, handing the paper to the ferrylady and bidding her goodbye. Behind him, Childe said goodbye as well.

Out the front door, Childe took a few steps to catch up to him, walking side by side. “How to put it… we do care about our loved ones burials, but the rites are far from being as intricate as I heard the liyuen ones to be...” Childe hummed, thoughtful.

He tipped his finger to his chin, thinking for a moment more before continuing. “And since the ground is frozen most of the year, burying people is not really a good option. In the landlocked regions, most of the time we make a pyre and burn them, then spread the ashes. In areas with a lake or by the sea, they’ll sometimes put the body on a boat, then light the boat and push it onto the water, or shoot a burning arrow onto it.”

“Fascinating,” Zhongli hummed. “Liyuen funerals are a lengthy affair. From the moment of death to the burial, to the first month after their burial, there’s many intricacies. All depending on who the person was, their status in society and in their family, the region where the family originated from, the age at which the deceased died… Everything gets taken into account, everything has it’s part in a rite or symbolism.”

They kept chatting on their way to Childe’s apartment. When they arrived there he opened the door, holding it open for Zhongli and closing it after them both. He took off his jacket and hung it up, taking Zhongli’s coat and hanging it next to his jacket. Zhongli trailed after him, walking to the kitchen.

Childe gathered everything they would need, while Zhongli watched him intently, asking if he could help something in between. The ginger just waved dismissively and told him to better take off his gloves, since it would be hands-on work.

He slowly took off his gloves, placing them off to the side in a neat pile. As he took them off, his hands looked normal. Good. He just had to focus. Which was easier said than done in Childes presence. Especially considering he stood next to him only in his maroon shirt, the revealed skin of his flat stomach somehow more eye catching than with the grey jacket on top.

“Alright, that’s everything we’ll need,” Childe said.

He pulled off both his gloves by biting the tips of the middle finger and pulling them off with his teeth. Zhongli tried not to stare. He really did. Luckily, the snezhnayan man didn’t notice and just absentmindedly tossed them to the side.

Childe lightly slapped his own forehead. “Oh, right. Before I forget. Do you like sweet things?”

The former archon looked at his friend curiously. “I do, why do you ask?”

“I made dessert!” the fatuus smiled. “Traditional snezhnayan honey cake. I uhm, thought you might like that too. It’s popular back home, pretty much every snezhnayan child grows up with it.”

Zhongli could feel his heart skip a beat. Childe looked cute like this, a little sheepish but smiling and a little proud, showing off skills Zhongli didn’t know he had. It was exciting, seeing more and learning more of who he was.

“That sounds lovely, thank you for putting all this work in for me,” he said softly, hoping he was able to get across how much this meant to him. He was sure making this cake hadn’t been a quick and effortless affair. Childe always put passion into everything, which was one of the many things that fascinated the god about him.

His eyes most likely played tricks on him, but when the ginger turned a little to pick up some knives, it almost looked like he was blushing.  

A while later, they were well into the cooking process. Zhongli made sure to commit every step to memory. He wanted to recreate this dish to the best of his abilities after all.

“Why am I not surprised that you can cook?” Childe said absentmindedly while showing him how to fold and pinch the pelmeni.

“Because I’m old?” Zhongli asked, carefully imitating the other’s movements, managing to make them look more or less presentable on the first try.

Childe rapidly looked up, staring at him wide-eyed. “I- I didn’t mean it like that! You’re not old!”

The former archon raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “I am old. Not old for my species, but old for humans,” he gently said. “So I’d say being able to cook is something that you’d pick up in that time.”

“So you’d bet the Tsaritsa can cook simply because she’s older than humans? Or the other archons? Or like, all of the adepti?”

“I’d say it depends on how you live your life as well. I wouldn’t know if the other archons can cook, minus for a few of them. Barbatos does… decently. His idea of cooking usually involves a fish, a stick, and a campfire. Beelzebul however… I do not want to say she is hopeless, I don’t think anyone ever is. But I dare say, she’s as close to it as anyone could get. But she has her attendants who cook for her, so it is not a hindrance to her.”

Childe went back to pinching the pelmeni. “I didn’t know the archons knew each other so well.”

“Not all of us. A long time ago, when it was still the original seven, we had a yearly meeting.” Zhongli carefully worked on his pelmeni, turning one between his fingers to make sure it was fine.

“Oh? So you had these big meetings and then talked about how to run the continent and your nations?” the ginger asked curiously.

Zhongli chuckled slightly. “Not at all. It was Barbatos who started the tradition. One day, he just… popped up in Liyue. I thought something must have happened, maybe he needs help, some dire emergency in the neighbouring region…”

“Probably what you would expect as someone in your position,” Childe nodded.

Zhongli hummed. “Mhm. But no, he came here with a bottle of wine, wanting to chat. Nothing serious, nothing important. Just drinks and talking. And then some other time, he invited the electro archon Baal to come to Liyue with him as well. And then over time, it was all of us. Sometimes, on rare occasions, even including Beelzebul.”

Childe looked up again, furrowing his brows. “Wait, which archon was Beelzebul?”

“Beelzebul was Baals twin sister. They had won the archon war together. You could say Baal was the brain, Beelzebul the brawn. Not that she is not very intelligent, but she was the martial artist of the two. When Baal died, Beelzebul took over as archon and has been the electro archon ever since. But this is not common knowledge, even her own people do not know. We did, because we met her when we initially received our gnoses. But at this point, it’s only Barbatos and me that still know about them.”

 Childe kept asking questions about these meetings and the other archons while they kept folding the pelmeni. Zhongli kept answering, telling story after story, with the ginger hanging onto every word coming from the former archons lips until they had finished folding all their pelmeni.

Under the snezhnayan mans careful instruction, they cooked them, Zhongli setting the table swiftly, so everything would be ready for them to eat.

“Look, they’re done. Let’s eat,” Childe said, smiling at seeing Zhongli’s eyes light up with anticipation.

Chapter Text

They both sat down with a plate full of pelmeni and broth. The small dining table was just big enough for the two of them to sit and eat comfortably. Childe kept a close eye on Zhongli, as he took his first bite. He really hoped the god would like it.

One reason was, because it was his mother’s recipe and it was dear to his heart. Second because he wanted the god to like it, because it was his mother’s recipe and he wanted him to like something so deeply connected to not Tartaglia, not Childe, but to Ajax. Third, because they had made them together. And fourth, because Zhongli had wanted to eat this dish again for millennia, and he didn’t want to disappoint him.

Childe felt nervous as he watched him chew slowly, savouring the first bite. He swallowed and hummed softly.

“Good?” Childe asked carefully.

“That would be an understatement,” Zhongli answered. “It is magnificent. Much tastier than what I remember it to be, even. Thank you for making this with me and teaching me how to make them.”

Childe tried to will the heat away from his face. He couldn’t be blushing around the older man, he couldn’t be so damn obvious. But Zhongli looked so happy! And he liked making Zhongli happy. “I’m glad you like them.”

“Very much. It’s been so long since I first tasted this dish. And I appreciate you sharing your family’s recipe with me, it means a lot to me.” The brunette said with a soft smile, his eyes looking brighter than usual. It made Childe almost feel faint.

“It means a lot to me that you like it. If only my mom knew that the mighty geo archon likes her pelmeni, she would probably faint,” Childe laughed, taking a bite of his pelmeni.

Zhongli chuckled, taking another bite.

“Don’t worry, not that I’d tell her. Your identity is safe with me,” Childe hurried to add. He didn’t want the other to think he’d be going around telling people who he was after all.

The god regarded him for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. “Childe.”

Childe swallowed dry, worried that he had somehow angered the other man. Was he about to witness a dragon’s anger? “Y-Yes?”

“Do you really think if I wouldn’t trust you to keep my identity a secret, that I would spend so much time with you? Talk to you so freely about the things I have seen and experienced, the people I know? I assume you noticed that I do not exactly skirt around such things when there’s nobody around who could overhear our conversation.”

Zhongli’s eyes once again seemed brighter, almost glowing golden. He had seen something like this happen to the Tsaritsa once. Her ice blue eyes had glowed almost white and inhuman. Was this an actual thing that happened for the gods? He had the impression before, that Zhongli’s eyes were glowing, but so far he had always thought that his eyes had been playing tricks on him.

“If I had just a single shred of doubt in my mind, I would never let my guard down like that. You know what I was like before, and how I act and talk when I’m in the harbour around people,” the adeptus continued.

Only now Childe noticed that the others hands had turned black, shimmering and glowing golden lines running towards the fingers in geometrical patterns. Zhongli caught his gaze, looking down at his own hands, which immediately changed back to normal. He looked back up to regard Childe with an intense gaze.

“And if how I speak to you is not enough proof of my trust, then this is. I never take off my coat or my gloves around anyone, ever. It is not something I do lightly, keeping up this appearance takes a lot of concentration and effort. As you just witnessed, I can get easily distracted enough to not uphold it. And my hands and arms are what most easily gives away my identity. So would never take them off around someone I wouldn’t trust to keep a secret.”

Childe felt like he was about to combust, heat rising to his face. Zhongli talking like this, about trusting him so much and so completely? Well, at least in the regards of keeping his identity a secret, which was a very important thing though. It did things to his heart that he wasn’t sure were healthy. It was hammering away in his chest, his stomach fluttering.

“So rest assured that you revealing my identity to anyone, at least not without my explicit permission, was never a thought that crossed my mind. I was fully aware how you meant what you said about your mother knowing. And who knows, maybe one day I might be able to tell her how much I liked her recipe, if she ever happens to visit you while you’re here.”

“That almost sounds as if you’d be fine with telling her who you are,” Childe said a little wobbly, trying to make it sound more teasing.

Zhongli sighed softly, taking a sip of his tea. “She is your mother. I’d trust she knows how to keep a secret as well. And what should she do with the knowledge, there wouldn’t be harm done with a snezhnayan woman knowing about me being alive. It’s the liyuen people that I have to worry about knowing. Who knows, maybe one day even, I will come out into the open about everything. Tell my people that I am not dead but rather wanted them to make of Liyue what they will.”

This really wasn’t good for his heart. Zhongli saying his trust even extended to his mother? Just on the basis that she was Childe’s mother? “So they would know their archon is still around, still their very last line of defence?”

“Very, very last line. I will always protect my nation and my people. But similar to how parents want their children to be independent, but are still there to fall back on if they need support, I want them to be independent. But if there should ever be a threat dire enough, I am here to step in and intervene. But I don’t think I will tell them in the next few years. I… would like to get a few more years out of “Zhongli” before it becomes suspicious.”

“Half of the harbour already thinks you’re an adeptus, I don’t think you need to worry about your youthful looks becoming a problem anytime soon. At least I heard a  lot of people that suspect it, just based on how you carry yourself and how massive and vast your knowledge is.” Childe said, absentmindedly poking his pelmeni before spooning some up.

The archon hummed, setting his cup down. “I knew about Hu Tao having her suspicions, I wasn’t aware of it being widespread in the harbour.” He picked up his spoon again. “But I guess, it doesn’t hurt. It isn’t wrong, after all, I am an adeptus. And people thinking that of me shouldn’t lead them immediately to guess who I am. Especially not if they still believe the geo archon is dead.”

Childe nodded. “Exactly. I think it’s actually good for you. Like this, people won’t question why you don’t age. You could live in the harbour for the next hundred years if you’d like. People would just think that they really were right about you being an adeptus. They wouldn’t take you as any different than Ganyu or Yanfei.”

Zhongli ate a few more pelmeni, his face relaxing a little more again. “You are right.” He closed his eyes briefly, beautifully thick, dark lashes against pale skin. “I shouldn’t worry about that. Thank you,” he said, opening his eyes again.

“Huh? What for?” The ginger asked confused. He hadn’t done anything, what was the god thanking him for?

The other man looked visibly more relaxed, eyes warm and a hint of a smile on his lips. “Helping ease my worries. It was something I was quite worried about after all, but you are absolutely right. Them thinking I’m an adeptus won’t lead to them thinking I am Morax. It will simply give me the ability to live in the harbour as “Zhongli” for as long as I like, without having to move elsewhere or take up a new identity.”

Childe smiled and nodded. “Exactly. So you can relax just a little bit.” He couldn’t help but notice that Zhongli’s hands had changed again, obviously too distracted by their conversation or his own worries to keep his mortal appearance. He took the time to study the golden patterns, until he adeptus would catch up and realize the change.

“I guess I can. I spend so much time worrying about these things. I must come across terribly stiff, that is not… not completely me, I guess.” Zhongli admitted, looking a bit to the side. “The downsides of not needing as much rest as humans do, and never forgetting a single thing in such a long life. My thoughts seem to be running constantly.”

“Oh I know that well. When I was in the abyss, I couldn’t really get long resting periods in. I’d sleep maybe an hour, then wake up again and keep moving. Being there changed me, which I’m sure you must feel. The Tsaritsa does, I assume it’s the same for you. But since then, my thoughts also never really stop, save for when I’m asleep or when I’m fighting. Because when I’m fighting, I’m focused on the fight itself,” Childe explained. He knew first-hand how annoying it was when your brain just would not shut up.

“That used to be my solution for… a very, very long time. It hasn’t been long since I’ve calmed down a little bit,” the older man said softly. “Though it is mostly… just having a better control over myself, I’d say. The hunger for battle is still here, it’s in my very nature as a dragon. But I’m able to keep it down better than when I was younger. No longer an unrestrained, open fire. But rather one simmering underneath.”

Zhongli picked up his teacup, frowning at his hands when he realized he’d lost control again. In an instant, they changed back to their human appearance, much to Childe’s regret. They looked beautiful, he’d decided. The brunette took a sip of tea, followed by another spoonful of pelmeni.

Childe leaned his chin onto the palm of his hand. “So you still do feel the urge to fight?”

“Correct. I just no longer give in as easily. They didn’t give me the title of warrior god for nothing,” the former archon said, scooping up the last few pelmeni on his plate. “I was known for my fighting prowess and for defeating many powerful beings after all, those aren’t all just stories someone made up. Some might have been embellished over time, but most are still true, even if just in their core.”

The fatuus looked at the other man for a moment. He knew what he wanted to ask, but he wasn’t sure if Zhongli wouldn’t be offended at the mere suggestion. How should he best phrase it?

“Childe, if there is something on your mind, you can just say it. It’s quite obvious that something is troubling you,” the god said softly.

“I uhm, mean no offense with this? I know it probably sounds incredibly… brazen? To even suggest this…” Childe trailed off, feeling the heat rise on his face. Tsaritsa preserve him, he couldn’t be blushing, not now.  “But uhm, I was thinking about suggesting we could spar together sometimes. For practice, and for fun. To get it out of our system. And you know, with the abyss taint, I’m not as fragile as a normal human, so you wouldn’t need to worry about holding back as much.”

Zhongli regarded him quietly for a moment. “Are you sure about that? I wouldn’t want you to get hurt,” he said then, his gaze not wavering.

“I am. Trust me, I’m sturdier than I look. Not to say that I don’t think I’ll get my ass handed to me on a silver platter every time we do it, but I feel like it might do both of us good. You already need to focus a lot, when do you even get to let loose a bit?” Childe looked back at him, trying to convey how sure he was about this.

“Never, really. Even when I am in my own home, I… never truly relax. Sometimes I need to go to the funeral parlour at odd hours, or people come knocking at my door. So I’m… always on edge, in a way,” he admitted.

“So you don’t even get a break when you’re alone, in your own home? You’re constantly upholding this form and everything?” Childe asked, worried. That couldn’t be healthy even for someone like Zhongli. Everyone needed to be able to relax and unwind.

“Yes. It is necessary. I live in the middle of the harbour, of course people would come by at odd hours asking for help with things. And people die at all times, so sometimes Hu Tao or the ferrylady will come knocking in the middle of the night so we can start with the rites immediately.”

“That’s not healthy, xiansheng. Not even for someone like you,” Childe said softly, hoping that he wasn’t overstepping.

The former archon sighed and closed his eyes. “I know. I guess I just really haven’t found a way to balance my duties with my resting times. But, to come back to your initial question, I would like to accept.”

“Seriously? I get to spar with the warrior god?” Childe piped up with a grin. Oh, this was exciting! He had no idea how Zhongli fought, except what he read. He knew he would probably favour a polearm, but other than that… and getting to see him letting loose a bit? His heart was beating fast with excitement.

Zhongli chuckled, looking at him gently. “Under the condition, that you will be honest with me. I need to know when it gets too much. And I need to be able to trust you to tell me.”

“Promise!” Childe said quickly, unable to hold himself back. Anything, if he got to see a glimpse more of who Zhongli was.

The other man chuckled again, clearly amused by how happy Childe was about this development. “And we can’t do it out in the open. People might see us, which could be risky. If we want to do this to, as you said, truly let loose… We should do so in my realm.”

“Your realm? Wait, like Lumine’s teapot?”

“Not the same, but similar. The serenitea pot is a portable version of an adeptal abode. It does have it’s limits though. An adeptus’ abode that has a fixed location is stronger than that, it can hold more things than a teapot. Stronger than that even, is my realm, which is the abode I crafted when I was still an adeptus, but reinforced by my godly powers. And other than a normal adeptal abode which only has one entry point, my realm has several entry points all across Liyue.” The brunette explained carefully.

“And any damage done to our surroundings there will simply vanish when I want it to,” he added. That was one of the more important reasons. After all, he had sculpted the landscape of Liyue with his own hands during the archon war. So many mountains and stone structures that were testament of his attacks against his enemies. He did not want to repeat that, if not necessary.

“That sounds perfect. So we can really just go at it, without worrying about a thing.” Childe nodded, taking a sip of his own tea. “We can start whenever you like.”

“How about tomorrow? I could come pick you up at northland bank, and we could get dinner to go from Wanmin and head to the entry point? The closest is just a bit up Mt. Tianheng.”

Childe could feel the butterflies in his stomach flutter excitedly. More time spent with Zhongli. How could he ever resist this man? “Sounds great. I’m looking forward to it.”

The adeptus’ lips twitched into a hint of a smile. “Me too,” he said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve sparred with someone.”

“I usually don’t spar with people, save for my Monday sessions with Lumine. If I feel… it… I usually go for ruin guards. Lumine mentioned she’s collecting their cores, so I get them and give them to her.” Childe admitted.

Zhongli hummed. “Formidable foes. Not to take lightly, but I’m sure you know what you are doing.”

At these words, Childe felt warm and he nodded quickly. When was the last time someone had said things like that to him? Trusted him and his abilities. Even if the other knew about his ties to the abyss, there was no hesitation. As if his abyss taint did not matter for Zhongli. Except maybe for the detail, that it did make him stronger than an ordinary human.

Childe quickly put their empty plates to the side and cut each of them a big piece of the honey cake. He carefully put the plate down in front of Zhongli, the other thanking him, before sitting down with his own plate.

“It smells delicious already,” the brunette said, taking a deep breath. “You really are extraordinarily skilled. You keep surprising me.”

“T-Thank you,” Childe managed to press out without his voice sounding ridiculously high-pitched. This man was going to be the death of him. The abyss hadn’t been able to kill him, but praise from Zhongli surely would.

He watched the former archon take his first bite, a soft, pleased noise leaving his lips. Oh for sure, he would be the death of him. No doubt. “Absolutely delicious,” he praised softly. “You are spoiling me today, Childe.”

He couldn’t blush, he couldn’t blush, he couldn’t blush… Childe repeated internally, like a mantra. This man. This damned man. “Ah, I just wanted to make sure you enjoy your culinary trip into snezhnayan cuisine. And almost everyone that tries it seems to like honey cake, so it seemed to be a safe option.”

“I can see why it would be a crowd pleaser. Very light and airy, sweet but not overly so.” Zhongli nodded, taking another bite.

“I can teach you how to make it sometime, if you want. I can teach you any snezhnayan dish you want to learn, if I know how to make it,” Childe offered. He had a pretty good knowledge of many snezhnayan dishes.

Zhongli smiled, this time not a hint, but rather an actual, real, smile. “I would love that. In turn, I can teach you any liyuen dish you’d like to know.” Oh this really wasn’t good for his heart, he was now getting actual smiles from him?

Childe grinned, trying to ignore how much he wanted to lean over and kiss that smile. “Deal.”

Chapter Text

When Zhongli arrived home late that evening, he could feel his stomach flutter pleasantly and his heart thrum softly. Spending time like that with Childe had been nice. Just the two of them in private, with nobody else around them. He had been a little anxious about it, as usually they spent their time in public. But it all had gone much better than he expected.

It had felt comfortable. Being around the snezhnayan man was easy and pleasant. He didn’t need to pretend around him. It was easy to be honest, dangerously close to being too honest. But with Childe, he never felt judged for the things he said.

Zhongli sat down by his living room window, looking down to the docks. Childe had seen his hands. He had felt terrified when he noticed it the first time, the gingers gaze fixed onto his blackened hands. It hadn’t looked like he was disgusted though.

And when he repeatedly lost his composure enough for them to change again, Childe would always look at them. Almost as if he was studying them, one time it almost looked like he was absentmindedly copying one of the patterns onto the table with his finger and it had made his heart feel faint.

When he told Childe, that he never took off his coat and his gloves, he wasn’t completely telling the truth. He wasn’t lying either. The small fact that he did omit, was that he only started to do this as extremely as he was doing now, after he met the fatuus. Before, he was confident that he could keep his appearance up perfectly.

After meeting and falling in love with a certain ginger however, his thoughts were too easily distracted to keep up the transformation reliably. Hence why his hands changed repeatedly this evening, spending time with Childe in private like this, talking like this, it had been too much for him to be able to stay focused on his appearance.

He hadn’t been so open with someone for such a long time. And he had worried that maybe, he was too open. He was scared that Childe mostly saw him as Rex Lapis. That showing who he really was, being vulnerable with him, would lead to him losing interest in their friendship.

But their talk had reassured him a little. It felt like the other was actually interested in getting to know him more as well, and it didn’t seem like the things he said had turned him away. After all, he wouldn’t have asked to spar then, would he? Well yes, maybe he did want to see where his reputation came from. But it didn’t feel like that was it. More like his offer really stemmed from Childe’s belief, that it might be good for both of them, seeing as they faced a similar dilemma.

So now they would regularly spar with each other. And apparently also cook, because they made a deal to teach each other their home nation’s cuisines. It felt exciting. He hadn’t seen Childe fight so far. He obviously knew about the hydro vision, but he had no idea which weapon he used.

He knew Childe had to be a good fighter. He was the eleventh harbinger, the vanguard. He would have never achieved a position like that if he wasn’t an excellent fighter. Of course he was worried of being too much for him, but he would just take things slow and test out Childe’s limits.

Maybe they would really be able to have fun together like this, maybe he would be able to show him that he wasn’t such a stiff person, but that it really was due to having to stay in control all the time. Maybe he would be able to let loose a bit. Let Childe see a more relaxed, fun side of him. How he had been prior to the archon war and all the responsibilities and guilt that came with it.  

Not that he was foolish enough to think that the fatuus would fall in love with him. Sure, he would sometimes think about it, daydream about what it would be like. Coming home into a shared home, greeting the ginger with a hug from behind and a tender kiss. Feeling the other’s warmth against his own body, wrapping his arms around Childe’s slim waist, burrowing his face into the crook of his neck...

Zhongli shook his head, trying to shake away the thoughts. There was no use in thinking about such things, they were only painful. Yet he could not seem to stop himself from wondering what it would be like to love and be loved, to touch and be touched tenderly. But this was not for him, not for his blood-stained hands.

Even on the off-chance that Childe did want a male companion, that wouldn’t mean he would qualify. He could simply not be his type. He had taken care to make his mortal vessel look like himself, but more plain, on purpose after all.

And someone graced by natural beauty as much as the snezhnayan would surely look for someone equally as beautiful. Zhongli supposed he was not off-putting. People had told him he’s attractive in the past. But whenever people praised him, it was hard to take it seriously. You wouldn’t tell the god of your nation that they are ugly. No, instead you would bow and politely praise their looks, their skills, their character, anything to get into a gods good graces.

As unlikely as it was, if looks weren’t a problem either, it would be himself and his past. He knew that as a harbinger, Childe had killed. Wangsheng funeral parlour had arranged a few burials on behalf of orders from Northland Bank, or Childe directly. But even in his entire lifetime, the fatuus would come nowhere near close to his own body count.

Gods and other mighty creatures had been bountiful in Liyue prior to the archon war, before everyone started to fight each other in hopes of gaining Celestia’s favour and become an archon. Initially not interested in power, he hadn’t been interested in taking part. He was an adeptus and the god of geo, he was powerful enough. But when the fights had started to threaten those that were dear to him, he saw no other choice than join the slaughter.

Killing a few people was different than being drenched in blood like Morax was. Whenever possible, he had sealed his foes away beneath the ground. But that was often not possible. And there was a time, where he enjoyed the bloodshed. Where the dragon inside him was roaring for battle, enjoying the test of his skills and the feeling of victory.

A time where the daily slaughter was so normal, that he became so desensitized to how precious life was. Taking it without a second thought, with a slash of his claws or a strike of his spear.

Shameful.

Zhongli rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. As much as he wanted to, he would never get rid of his past. He could invent new personas with new names as much as he liked, he would always stay Morax. Tainted with all the mistakes of his past, even if others might not perceive them. He himself would always know. Whenever Zhongli looked into the mirror, it was always Morax staring back at him. With glowing eyes, fangs displayed in a snarl, clawed hands and clothes stained with fresh blood.

Succumbing to erosion and losing ones mind was an awful fate. Many of his friends had to endure this. He himself was not affected by this kind of erosion. His fate was to remember everything, carrying with him the guilt and shame for all eternity. Wearing him down on the inside, never to be forgotten.

He was not sure which of these was the kinder fate. Of course, he was happy to still be alive and of sound mind. But it was a lonely life, having almost nobody left who had seen the things he had seen. Almost none of his friends had survived the archon war.

Which was probably why he enjoyed being with Childe so much, as he hadn’t really had a friend that he would spend time with in so long. Guizhong had died, Marchosias no longer remembered who he was and accompanied Xiangling now, Ping had married and raised her family.  

Then there were the two adepti who were almost like his children – Ganyu and Alatus. Ganyu had become the ever dutiful secretary of the Qixing, making a name for herself with how dependable she was. Alatus kept fulfilling his duties as the last living yaksha. And as important he was to Zhongli, he also felt immense guilt for what the yaksha had to go through. All the pain and suffering was his fault. And one day, it would take Xiao from him like it had taken the other yakshas.

One day, he would be all alone at the end of time, seeing the word crumble to dust. And maybe then he too, would return to dust. But it was a long time still until then. For the meantime, he would try to find ways to enjoy his life still, even if he sometimes wondered if he deserved it.

Zhongli got up from his seat, stretching his arms over his head, and walked towards his bedroom. For now, he would keep living his life. And while he settled into his comfortable bed, he thought of Childe, and their planned sparring session tomorrow. Maybe immortality wasn’t so bad, if it made him able to meet this man.

The next day, in the early evening, Zhongli waited in the Northland Bank. He stood next to the little stairs off to the side of the counter, chatting with Ekaterina. Childe was still finishing a report, so Zhongli had opted to give her some company, seeing as the Bank was currently void of any customers and the other employees had already left.

Ever dutiful, Ekaterina stayed behind waiting for Childe to finish, before she would close up and go home as well. They were idly discussing the menu items of Xinyue restaurant, after she asked Zhongli for recommendations.

At the sound of footsteps, the adeptus immediately turned around. Childe walked down the stairs, perking up with a boyish smile when he saw him. “Sorry, did you have to wait long?”

“Not at all. It’s been maybe ten minutes, Miss Ekaterina and I had no problems to pass the time.” The bank teller next to him nodded, holding out her hand towards the harbinger, who passed her the report.

“Good. You’re not going to stay much longer either, are you, Katya?”

“Don’t worry, master Tartaglia, I will only file away the report and then close up,” she replied. “Have a pleasant evening.”

They both said their goodbyes, then headed straight to Wanmin to get their dinner. Xiangling carefully wrapped them up, making sure nothing would spill. Then, they started their trek up Mt. Tianheng.

While crossing the bridge that lead out of Liyue harbour and walking past the small lotus pond, Childe asked him if it was true that he had planted some of the lotus ponds around the harbour himself. The adeptus chuckled ever so slightly but nodded towards the one they just walked past, confirming that he had planted that exact pond. The first lotus pond of Liyue harbour.

The two kept walking along the road, until they reached the two tall stone guardians. They walked between them, following the ancient footpath and climbed up the crumbling stone stairs. Childe looked around, curiously inspecting what remained of the walls and arches as they passed through them.

“I never really paid attention to this path,” the fatuus admitted. “The ruins are beautiful.”

“They are, aren’t they? Part of the first structures built in Liyue harbour. Abandoned for over a thousand years already, but not completely lost to time yet.” Zhongli slowly walked along the path, remembering how everything had looked when it had been only finished. Now, it lay abandoned and broken, nature claiming back what was once part of the settlement.

“Are we going all the way up the mountain?”

“No, don’t worry. Just a little bit further up. See those stairs right there? Up those, and then there’s a wall with a ladder we’ll need to climb and then we’re practically there,” the adeptus said gently.

Childe nodded, seemingly happy with the answer, as he kept walking right by Zhongli’s side.

They walked up the mentioned stairs, then climbed the small ladder up the wall. Childe groaned when more stairs were visible to their left. “Didn’t you say we’re almost there?”

Zhongli’s mouth twitched into a tiny smile. “We don’t need to go up there. The entrance is a bit hidden, right over here.” He explained, walking towards the thick vegetation. He pushed the branches of some bushes to the side, making space for Childe to pass through.

There, in the mountainside, was a small opening, leading them inside more ruins. In the early evening, barely enough light poured through the entrance for them to see while walking inside.

Inside the small room, was the golden glowing geo sigil of the realm entrance.

“Childe? Please give me one of your hands. Ah, and take off your glove,” the god gently asked.

The ginger looked at him a little confused, but quickly pulled off the glove of his right hand and held it towards him. Zhongli pulled off his own gloves, putting them away in the pocket of his coat. He took the other’s hand between his own. Laying Childe’s hand palm to palm with his own left, then putting his own right hand on top of Childe’s.

“Close your eyes,” he instructed. When Childe just kept looking at him wide-eyed for a moment, he gently added “Trust me.”

The ginger’s eyes fell shut, elegantly curved lashes almost kissing the dusting of freckles on his cheek bones. Before he could stare for too long, Zhongli closed his own. Focused on the warm geo energy thrumming within his body. He willed the energy into Childes hand, concentrating on the shape of the sigil and the entry points.

“Wha-!” the fatuus exclaimed confused, images running in front of his inner eye as Zhongli kept the flow of geo energy up.

He let the energy subside and the remnants return to his own body. “You can open your eyes now,” he said, letting go of Childes hand not without hesitation and regret. It had felt nice, the slightly smaller, warm hand in his own. But he couldn’t focus on that now, he really shouldn’t.

The fatuus opened his eyes and looked at his hand, the same golden glowing geo sigil now drawn onto the back of it. “What did you do?”

“Don’t worry, it won’t be visible in a few minutes. It’s fresh, that’s why it’s glowing like that,” the god explained.

Childe moved his hand around, looking at the glowing sigil from every angle. “What is it?”

“It is… a key, essentially. A personalized one, that will work until I revoke it. With it, you have independent access to my realm. So you won’t need me with you to enter it. Those images you saw, were the entries, the locations should be transferred to your memory now. If you ever find yourself in need of shelter, find the closest entry and access my realm. I will feel when you enter it, but you can come and go as you please. Do not worry, I will not monitor you in any way. I won’t head into my realm just because I know you’re there. But if you ever need me, call out my name.”

“I-I mean I wouldn’t want to keep you from going to your own realm!” Childe quickly said.

Zhongli shook his head. “You won’t. I may happen to be there, there is enough space and enough rooms, do not worry. I just mean that I don’t want you to feel like I’ll be monitoring you. You’re free to come and go and do as you please in my realm. There’s plenty of rooms you can pick from if you need sleep with clothes in all wardrobes if you need, the kitchen is always stocked with food if you’re hungry. There’s my personal library and other ways to pass time.”

The fatuus still looked a bit confused. “Thank you, really. But… but why give me access to your personal realm? Should someone like me even have a key like this?”

“I can give a key to whoever I please, it is my realm after all,” the god calmly replied, stepping towards the sigil floating in the air. “And as someone who frequently has to go out on missions and sometimes gets in dangerous situations, I thought it would be useful to you. If you’re too far away from the harbour, you can go and rest there. Or enter via your closest entry point and exit on this one, that works as well. So it’s also a bit like the teleport points, except that the entries aren’t in the same locations as teleports. Treat it like… a second, more accessible home, if you will.”

The large sigil floating in front of the wall vanished at the wave of Zhongli’s hand, a golden and orange swirling portal appearing in it’s place. “Simply wave your hand and concentrate on your desire to open the door. I shall give you a tour later, so you will know where everything is.”

Childe stood there, looking in awe between the portal and his hand. Then he nodded, gently cradling his right hand against his chest. “Thank you.”

Zhongli felt his heartbeat quicken at the way the fatuus looked, as if he was just given a precious gift. Seeing Childe like that was not good for him. Each day he felt like he was falling in love with him more and more, even when every day already felt like more wasn’t possible anymore.

“After you,” he said with a slight smile, stepping aside to let Childe pass.

The younger man slowly walked towards the portal, one hand stretched out in front of him. As his hand entered the portal, he looked back at the adeptus for assurance, before taking two more steps and fully disappearing.

Not wanting to waste a second, Zhongli immediately followed.

Chapter Text

Going through the portal reminded Childe of rolling down the snowy hills as a child. It felt like his body was spinning, leaving him a tiny bit dizzy as he emerged on the other side. Just a second later, he noticed Zhongli appearing by his side.

His heart was still beating way too fast since the other had held his hand in his. It had felt nice, they were warm and just a little bit larger than his own. They had been so close. So, so close. Zhongli had smelled earthy, like a rock warmed by the sun, with a hint of the gentle scent of glaze lily. They had been so close, if he had just leaned forward a little, maybe he could have… No, no he couldn’t think about this. Kissing the god was definitely not an option.  

Childe didn’t know what to expect while they were walking to the entrance. It was similar to what he imagined based off knowing Lumine’s serenitea pot and the domains scattered around Liyue. But as the other man had said, this wasn’t quite the same. The scenery in front of him was stunning. This truly was a god’s realm.

There were several large, floating islands connected by orange glowing, transparent bridges made from geo energy, just like in the domains. On the island that they were currently standing on, was a lavish palace just a little ahead of them. There were many different sized trees, their leaves ranging from green over yellow and orange to dark red.

Scattered all over the island were formations of cor lapis, some of which towering right next to the mansion, making it look like the building was built into the stone. The mansion was built in what must be the ancient style of Liyue, looking almost like a palace he’d seen on the backdrop of a play. It was only fitting that the archon of Liyue called a palace his home.

And knowing Zhongli, he must have amassed an incredibly large collection of artifacts and books over the millennia. He probably kept everything here, so of course he needed a large building to hold everything. Right beside it was one of the yellow glowing teleport mechanisms that he knew from Lumines teapot, helping her travel between the floating islands quicker than walking between them.

It was pleasantly warm, the sun shining and the sky above them a bright blue without a single cloud in sight. Several lanterns were floating above them, but they weren’t lit. Would it eventually turn night inside here and they would light up the sky?

He may not have Zhongli known for that long, may not know that many personal details about him yet. But what he saw so far was incredibly Zhongli. And even at first glance, it was filled with things that Zhongli loved. And the one thing that the god loved above everything, was Liyue.

The grass underneath him was lush and green, a large section of it void of any flowers, but closer to the trees the grass was full of glaze lilies and blue glowing flowers that he remembered seeing in Inazuma once. When he breathed in, he could immediately smell the lilies’ pleasant scent. Qingxin were scattered in between as well, and between the trees were silk flower bushes. He could hear the soft sound of water pattering, maybe there was a pond or a rivulet even?

It was beautiful, and Childe couldn’t wait to see the rest of it. He wasn’t sure how long he had stared in awe, but he noticed Zhongli standing right by his side, their arms almost close enough to brush against each other.

“It’s stunningly beautiful,” he said softly, looking over to the other man.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it,” the adeptus replied with a hint of a smile on his lips. “Shall we eat first, and then fight? Or would you prefer the tour before our spar?”

“No, that’s good. Eat while the food is still warm, then test our skills and then a tour of the whole place,” Childe said with a grin. He couldn’t hold back his excitement.

The edge of Zhongli’s mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Great. Would you like to eat outside?”

“How about there? Except you’d prefer to eat at an actual table,” the fatuus asked, pointing at a large stone formation that was almost perfectly flat and elevated to a little less than his hip height.

“I don’t mind, I occasionally eat sitting here,” the other sat onto the edge of the stone platform, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged.

Childe did the same, positioning himself opposite of him. “Really? With how many guests, considering how big this platform is?”

The god looked down, unpacking their food and handing Childe the small, lacquered container with his portion before taking out his own. “None. I usually eat alone, safe for when I’m with you. I… can’t quite remember the specific last time someone other than myself was in here. I think it must have been Guizhong, back when the only entry was in Guili Plains.”

Guizhong. The goddess of dust. He couldn’t help but wonder if she entered here as a lover or a friend. Not that it was any of his business. And even if they had been a couple, it was thousands of years ago. “I read about her.”

“You did?” Zhongli sounded surprised.

“I read a lot. Often about Liyue and it’s history, ever since you started telling me about it. She’s been mentioned in a few books.” Childe pulled off his second glove, having completely forgotten about having one hand with and one without. Then he picked up his mora meat with his hands, happy about not having to bother with chopsticks.

“I suppose she is. She was very intelligent, a great inventor. Many of her inventions helped people a lot.” Zhongli sighed softly. “And she loved her people very much. Something I didn’t quite understand at the time.”

“How so?” Childe asked curiously, noticing the gods hands change colour for a moment before he seemed to focus again.

“She found humans fascinating. Back then… I had a very different view. It might sound bad if I compare it like that, but do you care about what ants do all day? How they feel? Do you walk past them and wonder if they are well, if they are happy with their lives? They are short-lived and they do not impact your life much, after all. Guizhong was someone who liked to watch ants and wanted to know everything about them. And at that time, for me, that was incomprehensible.”

The adeptus looked down at his food, expertly picking up the noodles. “Please do keep in mind that I no longer think like that. This was what my view was… 4000 and more years ago. I am not that same person anymore,” he said almost in a whisper.

“That’s fine. Viewpoints change. I mean mine have changed a lot over my short life. Can’t hold it against someone if their viewpoints change in over 4000 years,” Childe reassured. “And I understand. For someone like you, us humans must seem like ants. Tiny and weak, our lives not more than the blink of an eye.”

“Certainly not weak. I envied humans at times,” the older man admitted. “Your lives are short, you deal with loss all the time. And yet you keep going. I was blinded by loss, unable to keep going. I spent centuries wondering how humans just go on with their grief,  how they keep going about their days.”

“When Guizhong died, you mean?” the fatuus asked carefully.

Zhongli shrugged. “Not just her. Adepti and gods died left and right in the war. My father did. I assume my mother did as well, as I have never seen her again.”

“I’m sorry,” Childe said softly. “I can’t imagine what it must be like.” He had hoped that Zhongli at least still had family. But it seemed like he was lonelier than he let on.

“Thank you. It’s fine, it was a long time ago. I… have since learnt to deal with grief better. One has to, if they live as long as I do,” the other simply said.

“How old are you anyway? Sorry if that’s rude, I’ve just seen different numbers in different books. By one you’d be like 5000 years old, by others over 10’000. Someone claimed you’re over 50’000 years old.” Childe asked absentmindedly, finishing his first mora meat with two more bites.

Zhongli huffed softly, taking a bite of his noodles and shaking his head. “Now those last two are far exaggerated,” he said with a chuckle. He reached for his own water, taking a sip. “The first one is the closest, but the number is too low. Want to try and guess?” the god asked, a hint of a playful grin on his lips.

Childe tipped his head back, looking at the lanterns floating in the sky. “10 is too much, 5 is too little. 7500 would be in the middle of that, too low or too high?”

“Too high. I’ll be generous with my hint, I have not reached 7000 yet.”

The fatuus hummed, thinking for a moment while grabbing his second piece of mora meat. “6500?”

“Too low this time. If you want to know the exact number, I will be turning 6850 years old this year.” Zhongli picked up more of his noodles, his hands turning black again for an instant, before he noticed and they switched back to his regular skin colour.

Childe whistled, impressed. He could not imagine what it must be like, being that old. Having seen so many things. “And like, how old is that for dragons in relation to humans? What stage of life would that considered to be?”

Zhongli regarded him for a moment, blinking. It made him realize that he just kept asking the god questions. Which wasn’t new, he did that when it came to liyuen history and culture. But this was his personal life. Things that weren’t really any of his business. “I… I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t ask such personal questions. You don’t have to answer.”

He felt a bit ashamed and embarrassed. Just what came over him to keep asking? Okay no, he knew exactly what it was. His desire to know more about the other man. Not just to know more, to know everything there was to know. To know him like the back of his own hand one day. But that wasn’t his place, was it? Even as a friend, could he ask such things?

“You needn’t apologize. I don’t mind. You can ask anything you want, I’d tell you if I’d prefer to not answer. I was just thinking. Comparatively I’d say it’d be mid-late twenties. When I first started living in the harbour as Zhongli and I was asked my age, I said I was 25 years old. That was three years ago, so the people that I told this see me as 28 years old now. Which would be about right, I’d say.”

“Three years older than me then. Hypothetically speaking, of course, since you’re not really 28.” Oh but how he wished the funeral consultant was. If he was, he might have had a chance. Maybe his boyish charm could have helped him woo the gorgeous man.

But no, this was a 6850 year old deity. How was he supposed to do that? For someone like Zhongli he must be so lacking in life experience and knowledge. He really would like to be able to read minds, maybe then he could figure out just how the other saw him.

Zhongli finished the last of his noodles. “Ah, so you are 25 years old. I was assuming you to be in your mid-twenties. Give or take a year or two up or down.”

Childe nodded. “You said I can ask anything. Just… so you know, you can ask too, if there’s anything you’d want to know. I’d tell you if I don’t want to answer something as well.” Though he wasn’t quite sure what in his life could be interesting enough for the god to ask about it.

The older man smiled slightly. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

Finishing his mora meat with a last bite, Childe took another sip of his water. Zhongli was looking at him, his hands had changed once again. Seeing them closer than last time at the restaurant and in much better lighting, he noticed that his nails were black as well and longer than usual.

The ex archon caught him looking again, sheepishly pulling his hand back a little bit from where it had come to rest on his own leg, changing it back to normal. “I apologize. I keep forgetting I’m not wearing my gloves. I’m so used to completely focus on keeping my face normal. You… you can tell me when it happens, if I don’t notice myself right away.”

The snezhnayan looked at the other man. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or… Make you feel threatened.” Zhongli admitted quietly.

“Zhongli. This is part of your normal appearance, isn’t it? Why would I feel threatened because of something like that? I mean I know you are who you are, I know you could end me in… probably 10 seconds tops if you wanted to. And by Celestia, I hope I never piss you off to that degree.” Childe replied with a light smile, hoping Zhongli would feel more comfortable.

He didn’t have a problem with seeing his hands like that. On the contrary. It made him happy that he got to see a little bit more of who he really was. That he was allowed to see behind the façade of Zhongli, seeing slivers of Morax instead. He couldn’t remember an instant where he felt threatened by the gentle man. Of course he was sure that Zhongli still could unleash the wrath of the rock if the need arose, but he knew him as gentle and calm person.

For a moment, the other just looked at him. “Are you… are you sure?” He asked, carefully.

“Completely. It’s not a problem. If you think so because I’ve been looking, it’s just because of the patterns. They’re beautiful.” Childe wasn’t sure if he said too much or not but he’d be damned if he made Zhongli feel bad about anything.

Zhongli opened his mouth but closed it again. Then did the same again. Almost like a fish out of water.

“Are you okay?” the fatuus asked carefully.

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry, that was just… unexpected. Thank you, Childe. Now, how about that spar?” The adeptus asked and got down from the platform, stretching his long legs a little.

“Oh absolutely,” Childe grinned and jumped down, excited for their fight.

Zhongli led him over the bridge to the second floating island. There were the same trees, flowers and cor lapis formations as on the first one, but they were off to the sides. The middle part of it was just a large rectangle of dirt.

“This is were I would come to train. The size should be sufficient,” Zhongli said. He paused for a moment, then took off his coat and placed it onto one of the larger cor lapis pieces. Then, he pushed the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows, revealing his toned underarms.

Childe felt his heartbeat quicken. Zhongli without his coat already was a sight. But with his sleeves pushed up like this? That was unfair. He looked ridiculously good like this. He didn’t need bulky muscles to appear strong. No, Rex Lapis’ strength was visible in the slim but toned, well defined lines of his body. Like a statue carved of the finest marble.

He needed to focus. Well, he was focusing. But on looking at the attractive adeptus, not getting ready to fight.

Zhongli seemed to consider for a moment, then loosened his tie and took it off, putting it on top of his coat. Then he undid the first few buttons of his shirt, revealing his collarbone and just a hint of his chest. He moved his neck from side to side, apparently appreciating no longer wearing the restrictive clothing.

Childe was fine. He wasn’t at all of course, but he just had to keep thinking he was. More thinking about how to fight against a god than thinking about the elegant lines of his neck and collarbone and the hint of very defined pectoral muscle. He took off his own jacket and placed it onto a cor lapis formation as well, deciding that his regular maroon shirt would make it easier to move around than the jacket and scarf.

“We should set some ground rules first,” Zhongli said. “As I mentioned before, I want you to tell me if I let loose too much. If it gets too intense, tell me to stop or slow down. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The fatuus nodded, even though he didn’t really want to. But he understood why the god wanted this rule.

“You can use any weapons and skills against me, you can go as intense as you want and as is safe for you to do. I would however prefer if you wouldn’t use your delusion, as I know that those are harmful to their users life force.” The former archon continued.

“That’s fine, it doesn’t harm me. But if it gives you peace of mind, I can do that. Can I use my abyss powers?” Childe asked, curiously. He couldn’t help but wonder how his foul legacy would fare against the lord of geo.

Zhongli shrugged. “If you want to. I don’t mind.”

“Just don’t be scared when I use my foul legacy transformation,” Childe said with a teasing grin. Not that he really thought the mighty Rex Lapis would be scared of it. But maybe Zhongli would find it ugly. Gross. Which was something he was worried about. But he also wanted to draw this out for as long as possible, he didn’t want to give the former archon an easy win.

“I’m an over 6000 year old dragon, I don’t think I’m the one who we’ll need to be worried about getting scared,” Zhongli replied, a slight grin on his lips as well.

“And I’m a monster from the abyss, so you shouldn’t take me lightly,” Childe kept teasing while he walked over to one of the ends of the field.

Zhongli started to walk to the other side. “I wouldn’t dare to take you lightly. Well then, shall we?” He asked, summoning a beautiful spear out of the ground, resting the pole against the back of his upper arm.

Childe could feel his excitement start to bubble up in his chest, soft laugh leaving his lips. “Oh absolutely, I’ve been looking forward to this!” He started charging towards the archon, summoning his hydro blades with a flick of his wrists.

Chapter Text

Zhongli was not surprised that Childe charged at him. What did surprise him were the dual hydro blades appearing in his hands just moments before their clash, giving him just enough time to raise his spear. He didn’t expect the blades to actually be solid, but they felt like weapons made of metal when their impact hit the pole.

He pushed the fatuus back with enough strength to make him slide on the ground, twisting his weapon around to attack. Childe raised his hydro blades and crossed them in front of his chest, blocking the spear and momentarily trapping it.

The adeptus let go of his spear, twisting his body around and kicked at Childe’s thighs, making him stumble. He could catch his spear, but as soon as Childe had regained his footing, he moved towards him again.

No hesitation, no fear. How exciting.

Of course, he could manipulate the ground to trap the ginger. But that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted a fight, winning wasn’t the objective for him, and neither was ending the fight quickly. On the contrary, the most exciting fights were those, where his opponents had a similar skill level and posed a challenge. Fights that went on and on and on, with no way to tell the winner until something tipped the battle into one party’s favour.

Childe kept going in an onslaught of attacks, rapid strikes with his dual blades. He was grinning, obviously enjoying himself. Zhongli kept blocking, then with a swift move managed to sweep him off his feet with the pole of his spear. He immediately turned his spear to attack the fatuus lying on the ground. But he evaded with a quick backwards roll, pushing himself up out of the movement, bringing a little distance between them.

“You’re fast. As expected of a hydro vision,” Zhongli said calmly.

The ginger only chuckled, bringing his hands together and letting the hydro blades fuse together, turning them into a double bladed glaive.

“Impressive. I didn’t expect those hydro constructs to hold that well,” the god praised, leaning a bit onto the pole of his spear. He could feel his heart beating quickly, watching how elegantly Childe twirled the glaive around.

“Thanks, I’m pretty proud of this technique. Haven’t met another hydro user who fights using weapons made from hydro,” the ginger said with a proud grin. He looked good like this, very obviously in his element.

They were similar enough in this regard, both of them feeling the hunger for battle. He may be able to keep it down better than when he was younger, but he could feel how his whole body reacted to this, enjoying the challenge of a skilled opponent.

His heart was thrumming in his chest with excitement, all of his senses focused completely on Childe. It had been so long since it took him longer than five minutes to defeat an opponent.

“I can’t say that I’ve seen it before either, truly a unique skill,” he said, starting to walk over to Childe at a leisurely pace. He could see the other raise an eyebrow, laughing at how slowly he was walking.

“Need a break already, old man?” the snezhnayan asked with a teasing grin.

“Not at all, don’t worry about me. But if you need one, you can tell me.” Zhongli replied, disappearing in a trail of his spear, reappearing behind Childe, ready to strike.

He was blocked by the glaive. “Nice trick, but that doesn’t work on me.”

“Worth a shot,” the god simply replied, striking with his spear again and again, testing the sturdiness of the glaive. But just like the dual blades, it wouldn’t break.

He narrowly evaded several small hydro daggers being shot at him with a flick of Childe’s hand, dodging them with a quick slash of his weapon.

“Sneaky,” he teased, as Childe winked at him.

Oh his heart, this wasn’t good for him. On one hand, getting to experience the fatuus’ fighting prowess was exhilarating. But he also looked so happy about getting to spar with someone, maybe even happy about getting to spar with him? It sure had sounded like that when they had decided to do this. Childe was grinning and watching him with keen eyes and it made Zhongli feel weak.

That the other looked incredibly attractive like this and had a practiced elegance and strength about his style of fighting that didn’t make it any better. He had to focus, he couldn’t ogle him half of the time. And that wink? Celestia be damned, that wink. This man would be the death of him. Almost 7000 years, surviving through the archon war, but Childe of all things would be the death of him.

As Zhongli raised his spear again, he noticed that his arms had changed again. For a second, he was going to will them away, before he remembered what the ginger had said. They didn’t bother him. They didn’t scare him. So why focus on some minor detail like this, when he could use his focus to fight?

He made a show of twirling his spear in one hand as Childe approached him again, managing to hit the pole across the fatuus’ stomach with enough force to propel him backwards.

“Are you okay?” He called over the distance where the ginger had hit the ground with a groan.

“Peachy,” Childe said with a punched-out laugh, getting back up immediately. “That wasn’t a win for you yet,” he added.

Zhongli nodded. “ Only when pinned down or unable to get up. Just making sure you aren’t injured.”

The snezhnayan summoned his glaive again, that had disappeared when the pole had hit him. “Aww, are you worried?” He asked teasingly.

“Of course I am!” the god called. He didn’t want to hurt him seriously. Bruises and scrapes were to be expected, but he didn’t want any broken bones or worse.

Childes face looked a little flushed from exertion. His hair was a little messier than usual, making him look dishevelled. Zhongli couldn’t help but think how good he looked like this. He positioned himself, moving his arms, and the glaive changed into a bow. He shot multiple arrows in quick succession.

Zhongli was busy evading the onslaught of arrows, when he could see Childe charging at him from the corner of his eye. He managed to move to make the glaive pass behind his back, then grabbed hold of it and turned around, twirling Childe with him.

“If you want to dance, you can say so,” the ginger laughed, releasing the glaive back into his dual swords. He immediately went back to attacking rapidly, strike after strike, which Zhongli defended against with his spear.

The god grinned. “If you want to learn, I can teach you liyuen dances,” he chuckled. “But only if you teach me the snezhnayan ones.” He held onto the pole of his spear and pushed it forwards against Childe, making him stumble back a little.

“You have yourself another deal, comrade,” the fatuus declared, disappearing in a ball of hydro. He shot behind Zhongli, emerging from his hydro encasement and quickly summoned his battle whale, dropping it onto the god.

He probably expected a quick win like this, but Zhongli had summoned his geo shield just in time.

“A masterfully made construct, you really are a hydro user of the highest calibre,” the adeptus praised softly. Sure, they were competing in a way, but he could still praise the other’s skill and application of his element.

“Thank you. And that’s Rex Lapis’ legendary shield?” the ginger asked, walking around the god and observing the golden glowing shield curiously.

Zhongli nodded, releasing it with a flick of his hand. “It is, though using it now might have given me an unfair advantage. It is impenetrable after all.”

“We never said you can’t use your geo powers. We just said you prefer me not to use my delusion,” Childe said easily. “Though I am aware, if you’d use your actual full powers, I would have been dead the second I charged at you at the beginning.”

“Probably. A human body cannot really hold against a meteor,” Zhongli replied, pointer finger tapping his jaw in thought.

Childe looked at him dumbfounded. “A meteor. Are you kidding me? You are. You can’t literally summon a meteor, right?”

Zhongli couldn’t help but laugh. Childe looked cute like this, in obvious disbelief, like a small child that was just told something unbelievable. He knew he probably shouldn’t laugh like this, completely unrestrained, one hand pressing against his stomach as his muscles started to hurt. When was the last time he had laughed like that? Had he ever?

“I’m- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh like that,” the adeptus pressed out, still giggling. “I’m really sorry. But your face- your face just now, you should have seen it. I swear I’m not making fun of you!”

“You really mean to tell me you can throw actual meteors at people? YOU HAVE DONE SO?” Childe looked scandalized, still not quite ready to believe it.

“It’s the fastest way to take out an army. Woosh.” Zhongli said innocently, still chuckling, illustrating his “woosh” with an arched hand movement.

“Woosh?” Childe repeated, starting to laugh himself.

“Woosh,” Zhongli confirmed giggling and pointed upward, a huge geo construct hovering in the sky far above them. With a slight sideways nod, the meteor came crashing down, falling down right next to the floating island and down into nothingness.

The ginger stared after the meteor. “Remind me to never piss you off, seriously. I want to go down fighting, not crushed by a meteor,” he said, laughing in disbelief. “Is that where the thing about the wrath of the rock comes from?”

“I believe so,” the adeptus confirmed, a light smile on his face. “But don’t worry, to get that, you have to make me incredibly mad. I don’t think you’d be capable of that. This is threatening the existence of Liyue kind of mad.”

“Last time I checked I did that exact thing already,” Childe said lightly.

“Last time I checked you were in the harbour evacuating the people instead of actually endangering them,” the god replied softly.

The fatuus looked at him surprised. “You know about that?”

“You’re standing out against a crowd with that red hair of yours. It was very easy to spot you, helping people close to the harbour evacuate when Osial attacked. And multiple people that you helped spoke out with the Qixing in favour of you. That you can stay in Liyue unbothered by them isn’t only because of me. And that you did that in the midst of everything told me a lot about you.”

“I didn’t know that. I assumed it was you,” Childe said.

“I did ask them to leave you alone. They told me that twenty people had come forward already, when they heard you were accused of everything, and that they said they don’t think it was you who killed Rex Lapis and unleashed Osial, after what you’d done for them. So me asking them myself was… a formality at best, they already planned to do so before I even arrived there.”

Childe stood there wide eyed and in disbelief. “That many people? Why did they care enough to do that?”

“Because if you do good things, it comes back to you,” Zhongli softly said.

The ginger furrowed his brows, looking confused, then shook his head. Zhongli wondered what he was thinking. Was he confused about people showing him kindness? He didn’t know too much about the fatuus’ past, but maybe he wasn’t used to people treating him like this?

When they had initially met a bit over half a year ago, he seemed to be a bit skittish, but made an effort to hide it. Zhongli had thought it was because of him being a fatuus and those being generally disliked by people. But maybe that was rather because Childe was used to being treated unkindly?

“Are you okay?” the adeptus asked carefully, taking a step towards the other man.

“I- Yeah, it’s fine. Just something that I’ll have to mull over some time, I guess. Now, where were we?” Childe replied, summoning his hydro blades again.

Childe attacked just as relentlessly as before, showing not a trace of what bothered him so much just moments ago. When their weapons were clashing again, he was grinning again and seemingly happy.

After a bit, Zhongli started to force him back, making him walk backwards. When he was about to strike, maybe even a winning move, his hands were suddenly fixed to his spear with chains of hydro. When he looked at Childe, he was only grinning, giving him another wink. He held onto the chains, pulling them hard towards himself, making the adeptus stumble forwards.

As the hydro chains were released, Zhongli quickly moved his hands in front of him, two geo pillars shooting up so he could push himself back up with his hands. In a fluid motion, he summoned his spear back, swiping at Childe’s legs in retaliation.

“You’d like that, huh? Throwing me to the ground?” Childe teased, moving back just in time. “Not very polite, xiansheng.”

“You just stood there like you wanted to be thrown to the ground,” Zhongli replied with a grin. “Aren’t you getting tired?”

“Oh don’t worry about that, I have stamina, I can fight all day if I need to. Do you really think I ever got a break while I was in the abyss?” Childe said, summoning hydro daggers and shooting them at Zhongli again.

The former archon raised a geo pillar to catch the daggers, then pushed the pillar forwards to move towards Childe quickly. “I suppose not. The abyss is a hostile place.”

“As hostile as can be,” the ginger said, cutting the pillar down with a sharp wave of hydro.

Zhongli huffed softly, charging at him with his spear again. “Going there voluntarily… truly, I will never understand.”

“Huh? People go there voluntarily?” Childe asked, blocking with his glaive again.

“I assumed you did. You’re human, after all. Well, mostly. So I assume you started off human and became tainted by the abyss. And you did call it abyss taint as well.”  The adeptus replied, trying to get through Childe’s defence.

The ginger blinked at him, not stopping with his blocks. “I didn’t go in there voluntarily, I wasn’t suicidal or something. I was just half a kid still, I got lost in the woods and fell into a ditch. Which ended up being an entrance to the abyss, that was so deep that I couldn’t get out of it anymore.”

Zhongli briefly paused his attacks. “Oh. I’m… I’m sorry for assuming, I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know any better.  To be fair, knowing me now, I can see why you’d come to the conclusion that I went there voluntarily,” Childe said with a laugh. “Sounds like me at least. But back then… I was just a kid. And this might sound almost unbelievable, but I was a scaredy cat and a cry-baby. The me you know today, who isn’t scared of anyone or anything, constantly hungry for battle… that’s who came out of the abyss.”

“Understandable, considering you were a child.”

“I really pissed off my older siblings with it though. They really disliked me always crying and getting scared of my own shadow,” Childe admitted softly, starting to push back with his glaive.

“I mean that’s normal for a child. How many siblings do you have?” Zhongli asked curiously.

Childe huffed. “A lot. Artyom is the oldest, he’s six years older than I am. Yulia is five years older. Irina three years older. Then Alexei, he’s a year older than me. Then my younger sister Tonia, she’s ten years younger than me. Anton is fifteen years younger than me. And Teucer is the youngest, nineteen years younger than me.”

Zhongli looked at the ginger impressed. That was a lot of children indeed. And some with big age gaps in between, especially after the oldest few. “Is there a reason for the big age gap between you and Tonia?”

The fatuus shrugged. “My father was away for work for long periods of time sometimes. Trying to provide for us with… moderate success. And I guess there were some years where they simply knew we couldn’t afford it. By the time mother was pregnant with Tonia, Yulia and Artyom were already working, so that helped.”

Childe switched to a short sword unexpectedly, almost getting a hit in against Zhongli’s side. The adeptus twisted his body and caught the sword with the metal ornaments on his spear, ripping it out of Childe’s hand and chucking it to the side where it dispersed.

“So close,” Childe sighed.

Zhongli huffed. “Not yet.”

“Do you have siblings?” Childe asked, while forming a greatsword.

The former archon shook his head, charging at the other man.

The fatuus swung his greatsword, both men groaning at the impact of their weapons. “Can’t you give up already?” he asked teasingly.

Zhongli raised his eyebrow. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

The adeptus couldn’t help but notice that he really was a one of a kind fighter. He had fought against so many gods and creatures, but he’d never met someone whose style of fighting was this versatile. Childe kept creating new weapons. Differently shaped swords, halberds, daggers, greatswords, dual blades…  Really an impressive arsenal, and he seemed to have mastered every single one.

“I think I’m holding myself pretty well against the warrior god,” Childe grinned. “Even if I know you’re going easy on me still. It’s fine, we’ll work up to it over a few sessions.”

“If you want me to go all out, it would have been over ten seconds after it started, where’s the fun in that?” Zhongli said softly.

He wouldn’t have wanted that. He very much enjoyed this after all. And the dragon inside him preened, seeing how well Childe held himself against him. How skilled he was. Someone who could stand by his side as his partner with his own reputation and shine, who wouldn’t need a god as their trophy.

“True. But I really think I should start to try a bit harder. I probably look like a mess already, but you’re hardly breaking a sweat and every single hair still sits perfectly in place.”

“Bring it on then,” Zhongli said with a challenging grin, feeling the excitement bubble up in his chest.

Chapter Text

Childe laughed and raised his greatsword, sending slashes of hydro towards the adeptus. He would have to be even faster. Zhongli already lost control of his hands and arms a while ago, probably having made the conscious decision to leave them be after Childe had told him that he didn’t mind them.

The ginger was glad about that, because now he got to see the patterns run up his lower arms, disappearing under the others dress shirt. He wondered how far they would reach. Did the black extend over his whole body? Or just his upper body? Only his arms? He had read about the geo archons arms. But from the depictions, he wore a robe, so had anyone ever seen enough of him to know if it really was only the arms that looked like this?

Zhongli evaded all his attacks expertly, which was to be expected. He was the warrior god after all. And of course, he looked ridiculously good while doing so. His style of fighting suited him, a calm strength about every single movement, paired with practiced ease. Here and there were some more playful elements, which probably only were because they weren’t really fighting.

He was unusually playful today in more than his fighting. Childe hadn’t expected him to be like this. Laughing openly, smiling and grinning, being a little teasing. This was a side of him that the ginger hadn’t anticipated. But it made him feel warm, his heart beating faster in his chest. Zhongli was even more attractive when smiling and laughing.

Childe ran towards the adeptus, deciding to go for direct combat again. Rapid strikes against the others spear, then switching on the fly to his dual blades. No matter how fast he attacked, Zhongli managed to dodge him.  

He would have to do better. He had promised not to use his delusion. And he currently was still on the fence about using his foul legacy. Zhongli had said he could use it. But did he want the other to see him like that? Possibly be disgusted at how he looked?

For once in his life, he didn’t think he had the courage to use it. Maybe some other time, them sparring was going to be a regular thing after all. He would try to win with just his weapons and his vision. Maybe one day he would feel brave enough to show the adeptus just how much exactly his stay in the abyss had changed him.

While he was a monster of the abyss, he normally didn’t look like one. His foul legacy was, what the abyss considered his ultimate form. The way it had rearranged him in its will, made him one with the abyss. Skirk had been the one to teach him how to avoid it becoming a permanent change. And in a way, he had always clung onto whatever was left of his humanity, even if it was just a shell.

So how would Zhongli react if he ever saw what the abyss made of him? Would he be shocked? Disgusted? He always treated him so normally, would he see him more as a monster then? As less than a person, just another manifestation of abyssal energy? Or would he treat him no different than before?

Zhongli was striking back now, his spear coming dangerously close to his body. He dodged with a hydro shield, letting the spear slide away on its slippery surface. He managed to get a kick in against the adeptus’ upper thigh, making him buckle his legs slightly, before he steadied himself.

Sending a large wave of hydro towards the adeptus, immediately followed up by another whale construct, he condensed himself in a ball of hydro and tried to make Zhongli lose sight of him. He shot up behind him, leaving his hydro form, and managed to graze his backside with his blade before Zhongli turned and a kick to his hip sent him flying.

He hit the ground with his back, letting out a pained groan. Before he could work at getting back up, he could feel something sharp against his throat, tipping up his chin.

“Yield,” Zhongli commanded, voice a little deeper than usual, sending a shiver down his spine and over his scalp.

When Childe looked up, it wasn’t Zhongli towering above him.

It was Rex Lapis himself.

Golden eyes rimmed by red eyeliner were fixed on him, staring him down. On his lips was a triumphant grin, revealing sharp fangs. A few warm brown scales were scattered along the line of his neck and along his cheek bones towards his temples, leading his gaze upwards to two elegantly curved cor lapis coloured horns. His ponytail had come undone, his hair longer and softly swaying in the wind.

The sight took Childe’s breath away.

Zhongli was a beautiful man. He had known that since the day they met. Childe knew that Zhongli secretly was considered to be the most beautiful man of Liyue harbour. And he knew that in texts and scriptures, Rex Lapis was often described as a man of extraordinary beauty as well, whenever someone had the luck to meet him in the form of a man and not his exuvia.

But nothing could have prepared him for the ethereal beauty that the other man truly possessed and kept hidden. No matter how often he could have read about it, it would never come close to describe the reality. He could stare at him for hours, committing all the small details to memory, finding every little thing that differed between Zhongli and Rex Lapis.

And those eyes… Rex Lapis’ eyes really were a brighter colour than Zhongli’s. So when it had looked like Zhongli’s eyes were glowing, it was his real eye colour shining through? Their gaze felt intense on him, making his knees feel weak. Even if there had been a way out of this situation, Childe didn’t think he still possessed the mental capacity to find it. So he just laid there on his back in the dirt, with the tip of Rex Lapis’ spear at his throat, admiring the sight.

“You aren’t hurt, are you?” the adeptus asked softly, voice tinted with worry.

Childe quickly shook his head. He was pretty sure he wasn’t hurt. “No, no. Just, uhm. Surprised,” he admitted.

“Surprised? You didn’t expect me to see through your little maneuver?” The other man asked amused.

The fatuus tried hard not to blush. Seeing the adeptus like this didn’t make his feelings any better. If anything, he was falling in love with him all over again. “Uh, I kinda did. I did not expect to see you like this… You uhm, dropped your whole… transformation.”

Rex Lapis’ eyes widened in a shocked look, one hand reaching up and brushing against one of the horns. He quickly turned around, and after Childe’s next blink, he could see that the god’s hair was shorter again and his arms looked normal again too. When he turned back around, he was back to being Zhongli, as Childe was used to him.

Zhongli didn’t meet his eyes when he held out his hand to help the ginger up. Childe brushed the dirt off his clothes while the former archon stood next to him, fidgeting with his spear before making it disappear. He bent down, finding the hair tie that had fallen out of his hair and picked it up. Quickly, he pulled his hair back into his signature ponytail.

“I apologize,” he said almost inaudible.

“What for?” Childe asked, brushing the last bit of dirt off his pants.

“This… jarring sight. I shouldn’t have lost control like that,” Zhongli replied, still quietly.

The ginger looked at him, raising his eyebrow. “Jarring? Zhongli, I was in the abyss for three months. You really think seeing you in your… adeptus form or whatever to properly call it, is jarring? That wasn’t, not at all. Simply unexpected, I didn’t think I’d ever see you like that. It probably isn’t something I should have seen, considering I’m not one of your adepti.”

The god looked at him with an unreadable expression. “It’s not like there’s only certain people that are permitted to see me like that. I just… do not wish for you to feel threatened.”

“As I said before, I don’t. If I would have, I would be in my foul legacy right the second I saw you. And trust me, THAT is a jarring sight. Not some shiny horns and a few shimmery scales. It makes me literally an abyss monster, and that’s not pretty.” Childe said with a shrug. He’d much rather look like that, if he could pick. But alas, he was an abyss monster and not an adeptus.

“I… may I see? I’ve been curious about it ever since you mentioned it,” the adeptus asked, tilting his head slightly, which looked unfairly cute. How could Childe say no when he was looking at him like a puppy?

“I’m just warning you again. It’s not a pretty sight. It’s the shape the abyss picked for me when I fell in, and if it wasn’t for my master, it would be the form I would have kept permanently with no way back to a human shape.” The fatuus replied, biting his lip. He’d seen Zhongli’s true form, how could he turn down such a request? Even if he did not feel completely comfortable, being worried about the other mans reaction.

Zhongli looked at him firmly. “Don’t worry. I can’t imagine that it looks worse than the gore and slaughter of the archon war.”

Childe sighed, taking a few steps back. Concentrating on the abyssal powers dwelling inside him, feeling the familiar feeling of the power thrashing in him like waves against cliffs. “Foul legacy – the devouring deep!” he called, unleashing the power like a tsunami.

When using his foul legacy, his vision was slightly distorted. He could still see well, but the world around him wasn’t as colourful anymore as it normally was, everything tinted slightly blue. He was taller, towering over Zhongli at almost twice the man’s height. And he was extraordinarily tall for a liyuen man.

He still felt anxious, trying not to look at the adeptus, unsure if he could take a look of disgust from him. But he knew he had to look eventually. He couldn’t evade the other man’s reaction forever, even if he would have liked.

“Told you, much worse than what you looked like,” Childe said, his voice distorted by the changed vocal cords.  “I’m not a dragon after all.”

The first few times, he couldn’t speak when using foul legacy. His vocal cords had been too different. It had taken many painful hours of practice to be able to speak, even when his voice still sounded weird and monstrous.

The fatuus looked at Zhongli now, who was watching him. Looking him up and down, as if inspecting every detail he could make out. “I wouldn’t call it jarring. From what you said I expected something far more grisly.” The former archon said casually. “I think the most jarring is the height. I barely reach your hips and I always thought my mortal form was on the taller side for humans,” he added with a slight chuckle.

Childe couldn’t help but stare at him. Had he- had he just heard right? That was how Zhongli reacted to his foul legacy? Being amused about his height? “You don’t think I look disgusting?” He asked in disbelief.

“What? No. I wouldn’t place this anywhere near that term. It’s different. To be expected, it is an abyssal form after all. I mean I understand why you would probably feel self-conscious about it. I… I guess I feel the same about my true form. I was expecting for you to be shocked and maybe disgusted, seeing my dragon traits on display like that.” Zhongli admitted quietly. “People have been scared of it in the past.”

“I… yes. I do feel that way. I was expecting for you to react much differently,” Childe muttered, releasing the abyssal energy and returning back to his normal body.

“Is that why you didn’t use it during our spar, even if you said you might?” the brunette asked, pushing one of his sleeves back up to his elbow when it had moved down a little.

Childe nodded. “I wasn’t sure if I should, I didn’t want something… stupid like that ruin things.”

“Ruin things?”

“There’s a difference between knowing I’m tainted by the abyss and having it slapped into your face like that, I guess.” The ginger said with a sigh. “I… was worried if you saw just how much the abyss did, that you might not want to be friends with someone like me anymore.” They were friends, right? Or was he about to embarrass himself even further?

Zhongli looked surprised, then huffed. “As if something like that would change anything. You needn’t worry about such a thing.”

Slowly but surely, his erratic heartbeat was calming down, even if the other man’s words made it act up again. But he didn’t feel as ashamed and anxious anymore as he had before. Which was good. He nodded. “Thank you.”

“No need to. I already knew you have connections to the abyss since the day we met. It would be stupid of me to throw away a precious friendship over something trivial like that. Especially after several months of knowing you. If anything, I believe it is something more that we have in common. Neither of us are normal humans. Both of us can change our shapes and have powers others cannot comprehend.”

A precious friendship. So it really was important to Zhongli as well, not only to himself.  It made Childe feel warm on the inside. And all this time he had been worried that it was him who just was attached to Zhongli and wanted to be friends with him, even if he couldn’t have him as a lover. But no, the adeptus did appreciate their friendship as well.

Childe suddenly noticed how their surroundings seemed to get lighter – hadn’t it started to get darker a while ago? He looked up to see how the floating lanterns in the sky started to light up, one by one. What a beautiful sight against the sky that mirrored the one over Liyue, darkening in shades of yellows, oranges, reds, pinks, purples and blues.

The liyuen sunsets were always stunning, and Childe spent many evenings watching them, especially when him and Zhongli sat in a restaurant eating dinner and drinking tea or alcohol into the later hours. Often they would choose window seats when possible, and observe nightfall together.

“Beautiful,” Childe whispered, watching the last lanterns come to life with golden glowing light.

“I had a feeling you would like them,” Zhongli said softly, standing next to him and watching upwards as well.

Childe just nodded, looking around the floating island. Everything was basked in a soft golden light from the lanterns, but not enough for it to be brightly lit. It was almost like being in a room that was kept in a cozy half-dark, just enough candles lit to be able to see well.

The glowing blue flowers around them seemed to glow even brighter now that it started to get dark. This realm really was an amazing sight. For a moment, his thoughts drifted. If Zhongli would feel the same for him, would they sit on that large stone platform together, maybe with some pillows and blankets, and watch the sunset together? Sitting side by side, or maybe even cuddle?

Ajax couldn’t help but wonder, what Zhongli would be like as a partner. Was he someone who enjoyed cuddling and being affectionate? Or did he prefer to keep his distance, only occasionally showing his affection with small gestures? Was he someone who would openly talk about his feelings or could his partner consider themselves lucky if they got to hear “I love you” once?

Assessing his character like that was hard. Because to most people, Zhongli was very closed off. Not talking much about his private life, but rather about things he knew about. But he was starting to open up to him. So to someone that he loved, would he be completely open, vulnerable and honest about his affection?

He could imagine that the adeptus would look beautiful, looking at someone lovingly. And he really deserved that kind of happiness. Especially with someone who would love him wholeheartedly. Who didn’t love him as Rex Lapis only, but rather as the whole person that he was.

Which, well, was what Ajax did. Love him not because he was Rex Lapis. Of course being that made Zhongli an even more special person, but his love was not like revering a god. Something in him told him, that the former archon wouldn’t appreciate someone loving him just out of the knowledge of him being a god. Someone who wanted to… almost be revered themselves, for being with a god, for being a chosen one by someone like that. Childe found that to be disgusting.

He wanted to be by Zhongli’s side, even if the other wasn’t a god. Of course parts of the things that he found fascinating about him stemmed from him being a god. But those things weren’t what had tipped the scales between friendship and love for him.

No, they were things that he liked about the brunette, but he’d fallen for the person he was presented at the very beginning. Zhongli, the funeral consultant. The man, maybe a little older than himself, who carried himself with elegance and quiet confidence. Who always spoke gently and never snapped at people, even if they made a mistake.

A man who was so incredibly knowledgeable about everything concerning his nation and so proud of it, without coming across as someone who thought Liyue to be better than the other nations. And even with this seemingly endless knowledge, never looked down on others who didn’t know as much as him, but rather encouraged people to learn new things.

Whose presence alone felt like a pillar of strength, an anchor against turbulent waves. Quieting the torrents of thoughts in his head just by being around him. Making Childe feel less of his thirst for battle. And treating him like a normal person, even if he was a snezhnayan, a fatui harbinger even, and a monster of the abyss. Just the first two were enough to raise suspicions and get him disliked almost anywhere.

But Zhongli hadn’t cared. For Zhongli, he had been just a person. It almost felt like being Ajax again.

Chapter Text

“Would you like the tour now?” The adeptus asked, Childe answering with a nod.

“Well, you’ve seen the training field. On the next island are extinct plants that I am preserving. You can go there and look at them if you like, just please do not water them or anything, they have everything they need. Any slight difference could cause them to die, and they are the last of their kind. There is also a pond with rare and else extinct fishes, if you’re fond of fishes,” the adeptus gently explained while they crossed the bridge.

Childe nodded along. “Got it,” he said.

The middle of the island was a large pond with a small wooden bridge crossing the middle. Everywhere around it was groupings of flowers and other plants, with narrow paths winding through them.

“Do you want to take a closer look?” Zhongli asked softly, seeing the ginger observing the plants from afar.

“May I?” Childe looked at him carefully.

“Sure. Just be careful, the paths are narrow. Come,” the adeptus gently coaxed. He reached out to the harbinger, taking hold of his wrist. Then pulling him along slowly, walking along one of the dirt paths with him. They walked through the plants, Childe looking at them curiously. Some looked vaguely familiar, similar to plants that he knew. Others looked completely foreign.

“Can you tell me about some of them? If it’s no hassle,” the fatuus did his best to follow, careful not to step anywhere he wasn’t supposed to.

The god turned to him with a soft smile. “Of course. These red flowers here are dendrobium. You might know them from Inazuma. They used to grow here too, especially during the archon war, since they’re said to bloom where blood has been shed recently. They haven’t been seen in Liyue for a long time though.”

“I’ve seen them there once, I think. They’re beautiful.”

Zhongli nodded. “Right next to them, pink glaze lilies. They grew in the area around stone gate, but they went extinct even faster than the blue ones. Nobody knows why, but I was able to preserve a few here.” He explained, pointing to the pastel pink glaze lilies.

“What a shame,” Childe said softly.

“Indeed,” the adeptus replied, gently pulling him further. “Over there, the yellow fern, is called golden dawn fern. It is a medicinal plant and was over-harvested. Next to it is black grass, a distant relative of violet grass, which also has medicinal properties. The bush with the yellow flowers right next to it is moonshade, which is highly toxic. But properly prepared, it is a strong remedy for many ailments.”

“Couldn’t you try and harvest their seeds or so and start to grow them again in Liyue?” The ginger asked, looking closer at some frilled blue flowers.

“I did try. But in most cases, this has been futile. You see, many of these plants grew in Liyue at least a few hundred years ago. Some even thousands of years ago. And the land has changed in this time. The ground is no longer the same, so these plants can’t prosper anymore. And some that might have a chance I am… too careful to try,” Zhongli admitted.

Childe turned back to him, tilting his head slightly. “Why?”

“Because some of these medicinal plants would be dangerous for people to get their hands on again. There is still a widespread belief that a normal human can become an adeptus if – among other things – they follow a strict diet consisting of certain herbs. And many of those herbs are extinct and only preserved here.”

Childe looked at him inquisitively. So ordinary people could turn themselves into adepti? That was news to him. “So, you don’t want random people to run around turning themselves into adepti?”

The adeptus shook his head, sighing. “That’s not it. It simply does not work like that, and many people tried and poisoned themselves past the point of being saveable. A death by these plants is not a kind death. It is slow and agonizing, part after part of the body just shutting down in painful ways.”

“Oh. Then that makes sense,” Childe said a bit sheepishly.

They kept going, Zhongli telling him about some of the more interesting plants they saw along their way. When they reached a tall tree with dark blue leaves, the adeptus reached up and plucked two round, white fruits off it. He handed one to the ginger, keeping one himself.

“What is this?” Childe asked, turning the fruit around in his hand. It was just large enough to close his hand around it.

“Fruit. I think you might like it,” Zhongli replied, corner of his mouth twitching into a smile.

Childe eyed him a bit suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. “You’re not pranking me, are you?”

“No, I promise. Here,” the adeptus said, biting into the fruit and chewing it with a soft hum, seemingly enjoying it. “It’s called adepti’s delight. Because it used to grow only in Jueyun Karst, sometimes the adepti would swap them for things from traders or would gift them to people as thanks for their offerings or hospitality.”

The harbinger eyed the fruit again, before biting into it. The flesh was white like the outside but fading into a blue colour in the middle. It tasted sweet like honey, juicy and the flesh had a slightly jelly-like consistency. It was delicious.

Zhongli smiled softly. “Looks like you like it.”

“It’s delicious,” Childe replied with a nod.w

They kept eating their fruit while walking along the paths further, the adeptus still not letting go of his wrist. Then they walked over the little bridge that crossed the pond, going back to their starting point.

Zhongli led them back to the palace, walking up the grand stone steps to the entrance. He carefully held the door open for the fatuus.

“Thanks,” the ginger murmured, walking past him into the hallway.

“The rooms are sectioned a little bit. Here more at the front of the building is the kitchen,” Zhongli said, opening a door a little to the left, showing off a large, beautifully made kitchen. Everything looked expensive and exquisite.

Zhongli stared opening cabinets and drawers, showing him the contents. “You’ll find almost anything you might need. There have been years where I did not have a home in the mortal world and lived here exclusively, so if I wanted to eat, I cooked. You can use anything you like; I usually make frequent grocery trips in the harbour.”

Childe looked at the vast selection of things, some quite modern but others clearly ancient. He’d need a while to remember where things were.

The adeptus lead him through another door, showing him a connected dining room with a large wooden table and probably about a dozen chairs, all masterfully carved. “If you want to eat here. Of course, you can eat anywhere else if you like, I do not mind if you’d prefer to eat in a bedroom or outside... All I ask for dishes not to be left standing around.”

After that, he showed him a gigantic library, antique shelves filled with books and scrolls from floor to ceiling. Telling him about how it was sectioned into the different languages of ancient liyuen, modern liyuen and common.

Next, a room filled with different masterfully crafted instruments. Ranging from classic liyuen instruments to more modern liyuen ones and even some from the other nations. On the sides of the rooms were shelves over shelves filled with sheet music, sorted neatly.

Right after that was a small atelier, filled with paints and inks and brushes, canvases and papers.

“You paint?” Childe asked curiously.

“Sometimes, if I feel like it,” Zhongli admitted. “Some of the paintings hung up in the building are my own, others are gifts or purchases.”

“You must be pretty good then,” the ginger decided.

Zhongli chuckled softly, shrugging. “With almost unlimited time to practice any skill, anyone would be proficient over time.”

“Is that why you wanted to learn things from me, how we do them in Snezhnaya?”

“Yes. I know the liyuen ways of these things better than anyone. But I still enjoy learning new things. So, learning them from you, in the ways of your homeland, is new and exciting.”

Next up was a large living room, with comfortable couches and armchairs, with fluffy looking pillows and blankets. More bookshelves and pots with plants on ornate tables. After that, Zhongli showed him a handful of bedrooms, each with their own bathroom right next to it. Telling him he could use any of them whenever he liked.

In the far back of the building were two large doors. The adeptus opened one, leading into a big bedroom with a gigantic bed. The room was large enough to have a sitting area still also with a couch and low table, and a sizeable working area with a desk.

“This is my personal bedroom,” Zhongli said quietly.

Childe stared at the bed. It was huge. Almost the size of his entire office in the Northland Bank. “I didn’t know there were beds this large,” he said, intelligently.

“Ah, in my realm I can make things exist that don’t exist like that out in the normal world, if I want to. I… uhm… sometimes prefer to sleep in the form of the exuvia. It is good to stretch out a bit sometimes. That’s why there’s the large stone platform outside. Napping in the sun,” Zhongli explained, looking a little embarrassed about it.

Childe nodded, as if it made perfect sense to him. “Of course, when you have a form that large, it probably must feel terribly restricting to be human sized sometimes. And napping in the sun is great, I assume even more so for you as a dragon. You know, I always see lizards napping on sun-warmed rocks. And you kind of smell like that...” Childe slapped his hand in front of his mouth when he realized what he just said.

Zhongli looked at him curiously. “I smell like what?”

“Like rocks do when the sun has warmed them. And glaze lilies. I uhm, noticed when you did the geo sigil thing with my hand,” Childe said sheepishly, waving his right hand around.

“Oh. Huh. I guess that makes sense. I use glaze lily oil for my hair and sometimes for my skin. It’s no longer used by many people, but a long time ago when they were still plentiful, glaze lily oil was popular for its hydrating properties. Old habits die hard I guess, so I am still using it.” The archon replied, leading Childe out of the bedroom and opening the second larger door at the opposite side.

It opened up to a wooden patio area, part of it with a roof over it with a garden around it. There were several birds flying around and perching on bird feeders and baths. Then they walked through the garden, to the left side behind the building. There were large stone structures and steam wafting around, the sound of water gently pattering. Upon closer inspection, it almost looked like…

“A hot spring? You have a hot spring in here?” Childe asked stunned.

Zhongli just shrugged. “It’s relaxing. It is large enough, it’s even divided into a few different sections, so you needn’t worry about me accidentally seeing you… indecently. There are also wooden screens to undress or dress behind…”

The fatuus frowned a little, noticing something. “You said you never have guests here but… I mean why is everything built to accommodate several people?”

“Ah. That is because this is a copy of a building that existed like this in Liyue a long time ago. I… just never had the heart to downsize. I just changed minor things over the years, mostly just adding some more modern amenities. But a lot of things are still the way the Tianheng Palace looked like in its original form. The thrushes here in the garden are the descendants of the ones I originally brought in here with me from the outside world. I just made sure to introduce some new blood once in a while, as to not get any problems with inbreeding.”

“Wait, Tianheng Palace? You mean this here was an actual building out in Liyue? And you put it in here?” Childe looked at the god with widened eyes.

The brunette nodded, brushing a strand of his bangs out of his face. “When Liyue harbour was initially built and a long time after that, I did live in a palace built into Mt. Tianheng that looked like this, yes. Around the time that those ruins you saw earlier were new structures. Back then, I was their emperor. I had people coming to ask for my guidance or ask for blessings and protections or bringing gifts… Eventually I decided living like that was no longer to my liking and not of any use to the people of Liyue anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I thought they would benefit more if I kept ruling in a more distant way. They would come and ask me to sign off on marriages or want me to play judge in a family feud or just a simple argument… So, I decided to start the tradition of the Rite of Descension and instead give them guidance once a year to make sure Liyue would prosper.” Zhongli sighed. “I was… tired from governing over every little thing, I found that to be too tedious. Parents want their children to grow up and learn to solve their conflicts themselves. I felt like that as well.”

Childe nodded, watching a few thrushes fly around the trees. “Makes sense to me. It must have been exhausting, having people ask about every minor thing.”

“It was. Especially after a few hundred years of doing so. After I left the palace, I decided to keep a copy of it in here, since I was quite fond of it. Hence the unnecessary number of things. If I just kept what I needed for myself, if you disregard my collections of items, there would be only a small shed.” The brunette whistled gently and extended his hand, one of the thrushes flew over and landed on it.

“You domesticated them?” Childe eyed the bird curiously.

“A little. They know that they can trust me, I tamed them enough that I can call them like this and touch them with almost no problems. But they are still free animals, if they don’t feel like coming, they won’t. I… am very fond of these birds, have been since I was a child.” Zhongli admitted with a soft smile, gently petting the bird’s head with his pointer finger.

Childe smiled. “Really?”

“My mother liked them, and somehow, I started liking them too. Maybe because I always saw how happy she was, looking at them. Even today, they remind me of her.” The thrush flew away, over to one of the feeders and started eating.

“What was she like?” the fatuus asked before he could stop himself. “Sorry, you don’t have to- that’s too personal, you don’t need to answer.”

The god brushed a strand of his hair out of the way, shaking his head. “Don’t worry, it isn’t. I told you, it’s fine. You can ask me personal things. We are friends after all.” He sighed softly, a hint of a sad smile on his lips. “My mother… She was kind, above all things. Qilin have a gentle and caring nature. She was always looking out for fellow adepti and for humans living close. She loved singing in a traditional liyuen style that is similar to the modern liyuen style of opera singing, telling stories with her songs.”

“She sounds great,” Childe said, liking this woman just from the way the adeptus spoke of her. “I’m sure she was amazing to have as your mother.”

“She was. A very loving and doting mother. Sometimes a little overwhelmed with a half dragon half qilin child sometimes, maybe,” Zhongli admitted with a fond chuckle. “They are vastly different beings, sometimes I even wondered how her, and father fell in love in the first place, with all their differences. But I guess sometimes, opposites attract.”

Childe leaned against the wooden patio railing, watching the adeptus closely, trying to gauge how much he could ask without going too personal after all. “They’re that different?”

“Oh completely. As I said, qilin are gentle and kind. Pacifists at heart, they do not like fighting at all, they only do so when they have to protect something that is dear to their heart. Ganyu is a half qilin like I am, and she did fight fiercely along my side during the archon war. Mostly because she wanted to protect the people and because she believed in me, that I should be the one to succeed and become Liyue’s archon.” Zhongli leaned against the railing next to him, putting his arms on it, watching the birds slowly retreat into the trees for the night.

“My father however, he was a mountain dragon. Dragons are… complicated creatures. If you would have known me a long time ago, I would have just told you that the person I was then sums it up pretty well. During the archon war, past a certain point, I very much was a dragon. It all depends on if you want to see the traits as negative or positive, I guess,” he added.

He sighed again, propping his elbow up onto the railing and putting his chin into the palm of his hand. “Dragons are prideful. We do not take kindly to insult. Impatient at the worst of times. Possessive of what we consider to be ours, which you could see as a positive trait, being protective of things. Most dragons are skilled fighters, with a hunger for battle. Naturally, also very physically strong. Often stubborn as well.”

Childe grinned a little teasingly. “I can see a little bit of stubbornness in you, with the whole “this is my retirement plan” thing.”

Zhongli huffed softly but shook his head with a smile. “Yes, I do think so. But also… we are more loyal than almost anything. This goes with the possessiveness, I guess. But be it friends or a lover, we will do anything we can for that person. And it takes a lot to lose our loyalty. And that, ultimately, also lead to our downfall because mountain dragons mate for life. Once we fall in love with someone, no matter if it’s reciprocated or not, our love is set in stone.”

Chapter Text

Childe felt a pang of hurt in his chest at Zhongli’s words. Of course, there was something beautiful about dragons loving like that. But at the same time, it hurt. The brunette was almost 7000 years old. At this point in his life, he definitely had found that one person already. There was no way that he hadn’t. Even if it wasn’t Guizhong, then probably it had been someone before or after her. An adeptus or another god.

Zhongli would never love him.

But in a way, knowing it was because dragons settled on one person did hurt a little less than just thinking he wasn’t good enough. Maybe he would have been. If they hadn’t met when the adeptus already lived for thousands of years. It was fine. He’d just do his best to be the best friend Zhongli could have, because he was definitely lonelier than he let on, and he deserved to have a friend.

“So you physically can’t love anybody else once you’ve fallen in love,” he said softly.

The god nodded , taking a deep breath. “Yes. No matter if that person loves me back or not. I’ve been told it is sometimes avoidable in the early stages. When it’s just a crush, sometimes if you don’t focus on it, it goes away. But when you allow yourself to focus on it… there’s no way back.”

“Oh well, who would dare say no to a dragon?” Childe teased, trying to lighten the mood a little. He certainly would have never said no. But it wasn’t a matter of not daring to but rather not wanting to.

Instead, Zhongli frowned. “You’d be surprised. Dragons weren’t very desired as partners amongst adepti, or even humans. For a powerful union, yes. But what I just told you about them being possessive and loyal were seen as negative things by many. Too clingy for others, who weren’t like that. Other adepti would fall in and out of love several times, just as humans do too. So many didn’t want to get too close to a dragon, fearing not to get away or causing feuds when they eventually wanted to leave their dragon partner. Hence why dragon hybrid children were extremely rare. I have only heard of a handful of them.”

So that’s the kind of lover Zhongli would be then? Fiercely possessive and protective of his partner. Maybe he would like staying in close contact with them, touching them, holding them, even just tiny little touches. He was starting to get a little bit touchy with him after all, and they were only friends. But every gentle touch sent pleasant tingles over his touch-starved body.

“That’s stupid. I don’t think possessiveness has to be bad. I mean… I would want my partner to love me, and only me. And do so with all their heart. When I was a kid, I always dreamt of finding my one true love, the love of my life. Someone who loves me back for all that I am. And having my happy end with them,” the ginger admitted, fidgeting with one of his rings.

The god smiled ever so slightly. “I hope you get that one day.”

“Thank you but… I don’t think I will. But that’s fine. I’d be an annoying boyfriend anyways, you know I get into fights too much. I don’t think anyone would appreciate me coming home with other people’s blood on my clothes,” Childe said with a laugh, lightly bumping his shoulder against the other’s. Zhongli would definitely scold him.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. The person you need to look for isn’t someone who’ll scold you. Or well, maybe a little. But who’ll sit you down and clean up the cuts and scrapes.”

“Heh. And then makes me a tea and a homecooked meal?” Childe chuckled. Didn’t that sound nice? Someone taking care of him? But then who would want to do something like that for someone like him?

“Of course.” Zhongli nodded.

Childe huffed. “I don’t need someone mothering me. If I’m in a relationship with someone, I want us to be… more or less equals, at least.”

“That doesn’t exclude getting spoilt once in a while. Just because someone takes care of you doesn’t mean they’re always mothering you. But then… People show their love differently, I guess. And people want to receive love differently. At least from what I’ve observed in all those years. So if you are someone who doesn’t want their partner to do things like that, that’s fine of course.”

The adeptus took a deep breath. “I… I told you that we are loyal and possessive creatures. This extends to friends as well. So if… if you ever find me overbearing, please tell me. I do not want you to just quietly take it and possibly thinking ill of me. Or even if… you would prefer not to spend time with me every day. Now that I think of it- You… you do know you can say no to meeting with me, right? Please tell me you haven’t said no this entire time because you didn’t dare to?” Zhongli started looking worried, almost a little frantic.

“What, I could have said no this entire time?” Childe asked, playing clueless.

He thought it would be obvious that he was only joking, but the expression on Zhongli’s face almost broke his heart. He looked hurt, confused, ashamed, all at once. It almost looked like his hands were shaking. He certainly was losing his composure, his hands having changed, his eyes flickering between Zhongli’s darker and Rex Lapis’ brighter colour.  “Zhongli-“ But before he could say much, the god cut him off.

“I  -I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner, I shouldn’t have assumed… I thought you would tell me. But… I-I guess it’s impossible, saying no, knowing who I am. You weren’t scared that I would-? I would never, I swear!”

Childe gently grasped one of his wrists, trying to snap him out of it. “Zhongli. Zhongli, calm down, everything is alright. I was just playing. I know that I could say no. But I don’t want to. I enjoy spending time with you. Honestly, I promise.”

Zhongli looked at him a little unsure. His eyes steadied back on their darker colour slowly. “Really? Are… you sure? It’s really alright if you don’t. I understand if you want to spend more time with people your age. Or alone. You hardly get to do anything, with me hogging all your time.”

“Hey. I want to spend time with you. Else I wouldn’t come up with new ideas on how to spend time together, would I? And at this point, you’re my best friend, even if that might sound silly to you. But I’ve… never had a friend that I spent that much time with. Or that I could talk freely about being an abyss monster. Before we met, I spent all my time on missions or roaming and fighting. If it wasn’t for you, I’d spend all my time being Tartaglia.” Childe gently squeezed the wrist he was holding, hoping to reassure the adeptus.

A wobbly smile made its way onto the brunettes lips. “It doesn’t sound silly. I like that. You’re my best friend too. I’ve… after Guizhong passed, I never really had a friend anymore. Much less one that I could talk without having to worry about their impression of me. I mean I know that you know who I am, and that surely impacts how you see me. But… I feel a little bit less pressure. I don’t want to mess up, but I know I can allow myself to do so more with you than around other people.”

“What do you mean, knowing who you are impacts how I see you?” The fatuus asked carefully.

“Most people have a certain expectation of how I am as Zhongli. People have vastly different expectations for Morax. Expectations that they want to be met. If I am any less than their highest expectations, they will be disappointed. So the older I got, the longer I ruled over Liyue, I had to me more of everything. I had to be calm and collected, with a face that doesn’t give away my emotions. I had to watch my posture, my way of speaking, my movements…”  The god took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“So you mean, you think I have expectations of you because I know you’re Rex Lapis. But you think you can disappoint me, but not your people?” Childe asked with a teasing grin, making sure this time Zhongli would understand he was joking.

“Yes exactly, why would I care what some snezhnayan rascal thinks of me,” he replied with a hint of mirth, bumping his elbow into Childe’s arm.

Childe ran his hand along the side of his neck. “Well, if it eases your mind: Sure, I have certain… I wouldn’t say expectations, because they aren’t really. Just certain thoughts or theories that are connected to you being Rex Lapis. Things that I think what you might actually be like, because I was pretty sure that a lot is actually… like Tartaglia. A façade. But I don’t like being Tartaglia all the time. I like to be Childe, because Childe gets more leeway to have fun or be nice to people. Because I’m not… a completely awful person, not at my core. But after what happened in the abyss, I felt I lost that one, that original me. So sometimes I worry what people knowing me as Tartaglia, or even as Childe, would think of this part of me. You mean kinda like that too, yeah?”

The other man thought about it for a moment. Childe was about to apologize for misunderstanding things, when Zhongli nodded. “Yes, I would say that is correct. And with other people’s expectations, there’s also my own thoughts on myself. Rex Lapis may be what I am called, but it’s nothing I ever called myself. It’s the name my people chose for me, to pray to me and it’s expression of their reverence.

Zhongli is a name I chose a long time ago, that I used to go incognito repeatedly. Nobody has the same expectations for Zhongli that they do for Rex Lapis. Because Zhongli isn’t Rex Lapis. So, as you do with Childe, I get a bit more leeway to be more like I want to be. Though at this point, there are many things people expect of Zhongli too, so I can’t truly be myself either.

My thoughts on Morax are… complicated. Ambivalent. He is who I truly am, but at the same time I’m not sure I want to be him. Because there’s also deep shame connected to this name for me.”

Hearing this surprised the ginger. He had wondered if Zhongli was struggling with the expectations that were placed on him as an archon, but it had always seemed like he wasn’t. So to hear him be this honest with him, and admit that he struggled with it and that he wanted to be able to be himself… It was all so relatable for Tartaglia, for Childe, for… Ajax.

“Is that connected to why you talk differently about qilin and dragons? I notice you talk about qilin as if you aren’t one of them. But talking about dragons, you talk like you are one. And you’ve referred to yourself as a dragon repeatedly before today, too.” Childe looked at the adeptus curiously.

“Yes, I would say so. I do know I am half of both but… I feel I didn’t inherit much of the qilin qualities. I may be half/half, but I feel more as a dragon. I’ve always had the feeling that I was too violent for the qilin. I… don’t think that if my character leaned more towards my mothers side, that I would be here today. Or maybe I would, but probably not as the geo archon. I do feel a disconnect to that part of myself, which you’ve successfully picked up on just from the way I speak,” Zhongli said with a light shrug.

The ginger tested the sturdiness of the wooden railing, before hoisting himself up to sit on it. “Huh. But you are gentle and calm. Kind. With a strong sense of justice, is what I heard about qilin so far.”

“You’ve met me at far over 6000 years old. Of course I am old and have gone mild. For me it hardly seems as something that has to do with my qilin genes.” The adeptus regarded him for a moment, then did the same, sitting less than an arms length away from him on the railing.

“This’ll hold, right?” Childe asked with a laugh. “I don’t want the railing to break.”

“Are you insinuating that I am heavy?” Zhongli asked, narrowing his eyes, the twitch of his lips betraying him.

“Noooo. I just don’t want to damage your palace.” Childe bumped his elbow against Zhongli’s.

“Do not worry. This wood is strong, it would hold at least two more people. If not three.”

“Well, to come back on topic. I mean yes, I didn’t know you when you were younger. Which is a pity, I would have loved to see what you were like. But I understand what you mean. Well, maybe it is being older and more wise. Or maybe it’s your qilin influence. Who knows.” Childe said easily, looking over to Zhongli.

“I just want you to know, that I want to get to know you. Whichever you that is, that you want me to know.” He added quietly.

Zhongli looked back at him, his eyes a little bit brighter than before. “Trust me, you wouldn’t have liked Morax. As a sparring partner maybe, but probably not as a person. I was foolish and reckless, too prideful and too hungry for battle and blood. I was more focused on being a warrior than anything else.”

“I’m sure we would have been great friends. You could have sparred with me to calm down,” Childe grinned. He wondered what a sight that would have been. Morax in his early years, godly beauty and excellency. Wild and untamed, a warrior so mighty, that he would never find his match. Not trying for a single second to disguise his godhood, supernaturally bright eyes and glowing lines along his body.

Ah, seeing Rex Lapis was going to haunt him into his dreams for the rest of his life, wouldn’t it? Well, to be fair, it was one of the most breath-taking sights he’d ever seen. How many humans get to see a god in their lifetime? And Childe had already seen two. But the Tsaritsa… As beautiful as she was in her ice cold elegance… Liyue was so far winning the archon beauty contest.

Zhongli raised his eyebrows amusedly. “You seem to underestimate how wild I was.”

“Oh don’t worry, I could have dealt with a young and feral dragon. I’ve got plenty of younger siblings after all, I know how to reign in vicious beasts that are stubborn beyond reason,” Childe grinned. “And I’m nothing if not determined, you know me.”

Zhongli just laughed softly.

For a while, they sat on the wooden railing without saying anything. Just enjoying each other's company and watching the stars appear on the dark sky. They could be seen even with the soft lighting of the floating lanterns.

Eventually, Childe leaned over a little, lightly resting his head on the brunettes shoulder.

“Tired?” Zhongli asked, barely above a whisper.

“Just a little. But I had so much fun today, I don’t want the day to end. I like talking with you,” he admitted. Every moment spent with Zhongli felt precious. It made him feel better than any fight. And being with Zhongli distracted him from his bloodlust, as if the other was a calming remedy.

The adeptus hummed softly. “How about we head inside in a bit. I could make us some tea, and I have some imported chocolates from Fontaine. We could go to my bedroom, dress in sleeping robes, and we could have tea, and chocolates, and talk some more. And then we can sleep whenever we want, we’re already in bed after all. Except you wouldn’t be comfortable with that, I’m sorry if that’s an odd suggestion. I just figured since my bed is large enough for a whole crowd of humans…”

Childe could feel his heartbeat quicken. Sleeping in one bed with Zhongli? Okay, it was a huge bed, but still. It made butterflies flutter in his belly, considering what a show of trust this was. “Sounds lovely, actually. Because I am tired, but not really sleepy-tired. More just tired from the sparring and all.”

“I understand, I feel similar. I… might let a little loose on my transformation, if that’s fine with you.” Zhongli fidgeted a little with his hands, which were looking normal right now.

“You don’t have to ask me that, really. I told you, I want to know you. You don’t have to pretend you’re someone you’re not with me. You can drop your whole transformation if you want to. Whatever you are comfortable with,” the fatuus assured. As if he’d complain about getting to see him in all his glory. Childe moved away from him and stretched his arms a little, then jumped off the railing.

Inside, they first made a stop in the kitchen. Zhongli filled a platter with the mentioned chocolates while brewing the tea, then put everything on a golden serving tray. Childe wanted to help him, but Zhongli insisted that he shouldn’t.

Once they reached the bedroom, Zhongli set the tray down onto the desk. The he put a small wooden table onto the bed and placed the tray onto it. He walked over to the large wardrobe and opened it. “Do you have a colour preference?”

“Uh, not really?” Childe said with a shrug. He liked lots of colours, he was fine with anything.

Zhongli hummed, then took out a wine red silken robe out of the wardrobe. “Personally, I do think red suits you excellently. Like the shirt you are wearing. How about this one?”

Childe had to try and keep himself from blushing. “Thank you… It looks nice, a beautiful red.”

“Do you know how to put them on?” the adeptus asked, handing him the impossibly soft robe.

“I think I do? Else I can ask the expert,” the fatuus assured with a smile, seeing Zhongli turn around to give him some privacy to change.

It didn’t take too long for Childe to figure out how the robe was supposed to be put on. “I’m done, your turn,” he said.

He turned around, even though he would have liked to maybe solve the mystery of Zhongli’s arms.

After a moment, Zhongli spoke up. “Ah, I did forget, you put the left over the right side of the robe, yes? Right over left is bad manners.”

Childe took this as a sign that the other was already dressed, so he turned around. Only to see Zhongli had put his arms into the sleeves of the bronze coloured robe, but it was hanging low behind him; the part that was actually meant to sit at the back of the neck being at his lower back instead.

It was beautiful. Zhongli’s ponytail was thrown over his shoulder, giving him unobstructed view of his backside. His back and shoulders were smooth and muscular. Zhongli had partially given up control, his arms having turned black, fading back into his regular skin colour at the shoulder joint. The golden lines of geo went further though, running in the same geometric patterns over his shoulder blades and back, a large geo sigil on his back that held the pattern together.

Zhongli pulled the robe upwards, the golden pattern disappearing bit by bit. Childe turned around again, not wanting to be caught staring. “Uhhh, I did. But that was lucky, because I didn’t know. But for next time I do.”

The adeptus chuckled softly. “Excellent. Much more comfortable, isn’t it?” He said, walking past Childe and stepping onto the huge mattress, sitting down next to some pillows.

“Definitely,” Childe replied, getting onto the bed as well and settling down close to him. Leaning himself into the mountains of pillows, the table filled with chocolates and tea right beside them. He couldn’t remember when he felt this comfortable in his life.

Chapter Text

The dragon inside him was rumbling with satisfaction. The sight of Childe wearing one of his own silken robes, and looking so good in it… Sure, it was a little bit too big on him, made to the height that Morax used to be, taller than Zhongli chose to be now. But that only made the sight better. The dark wine red was a good look on him, and the way he wore it showed off a bit of his chest. He could spot a small beauty mark sitting just above his collarbone and it took all his self control not to lean in and place a reverent kiss on it.

Childe was opening up to him more and it made his head spin. In a way, he’d even confirmed his suspicions that other than Tartaglia and Childe, there was this third, unnamed person to him. That he too, was worried what people would think about him if they knew.

They were so similar in so many ways, weren’t they? Like two pieces of a puzzle, meant to fit together. Something great could happen if they would slot into place just right. But maybe this “just right” was only best friends. Supporting one another with their struggles, being able to be open with each other in a way that they couldn’t with anyone else.

Even if everything in him pulled him towards the fatuus, wanting to have all of him for himself, for the rest of his life. He wanted to know everything, know him inside and out, every thought and every feeling. There were a million things Zhongli wanted to ask him, wanted to know of him.

Childe was leaning sideways into the mountain of pillows, gently blowing onto his tea. He looked soft and relaxed, his mask discarded with his day clothes.

“Can I ask you something?” he said, reaching for his own cup.

“Anything,” Childe said easily, taking a sip of tea.

“You don’t have to answer of course but.. You said you were a child when you fell into the abyss… What happened?”

The ginger looked a little surprised and Zhongli was about to repeat that he didn’t have to answer, when he put his cup down and sighed. “I was fourteen then. My brother Alexei, the one who’s a year older than me, and me had an argument. I don’t even remember anymore what it was about, I think he was teasing me for being a cry-baby and still wanting to become an adventurer… In any case,  I ran into the snowy forest close to our home with only a short, dull sword and a satchel with some bread.”

Childe took one of the chocolates and ate it with a soft hum, then took a small sip of tea. “When I calmed down, I wanted to go home again. I ran around like crazy trying to find which way I’d come from, but I only got myself deeper into panic. And it got darker, until night fell and I could barely see anything anymore. I heard the wolves howl and there were bears running after me, and so many other things that scared me. I kept running for who knows how long, and then I slipped and fell into a ditch. Just that this ditch was deeper than anything I could have imagined.

Once I looked up again, I could see the opening that I fell in way above me, much too tall to reach even for an adult. My whole body hurt, I twisted my ankle when I fell, and the air down there hurts to breathe. And when I looked around at how strange everything looked, I realized I wasn’t in the normal world anymore.”

Zhongli took a sip from his tea. “How long where you in there?”

“Depends. In our world’s time or in abyss time?” the fatuus said with a chuckle. “There’s a wide difference between those.”

“I’ve never been to the abyss, so I wouldn’t know. But I remember reading something along those lines. Time in domains passes differently too. It would in here as well, if I didn’t will my realm to follow the normal liyuen time and simulate the day and night cycle the way it happens outside. Even the weather is almost the same as outside, it might rain or even snow in here too.” Zhongli picked up one of the chocolates and slowly let it melt on his tongue. He’d have to remember to get some more from the specialty merchant from Fontaine who dropped by twice per month.

“One day here is one month in the abyss,” Childe said softly, picking up his teacup and warming his hand on it. “My family thought I was gone for three days.”

“You were there for three months?” Zhongli asked, unbelieving. He may not know much about the abyss, but he knew that it was an exceptionally dangerous place. Everything down there was designed to kill. And fourteen year old Childe had been down there for three months? And survived?

“Yeah. I’ve got enough scars to prove it,” he chuckled. “For my family I was gone for three days and suddenly a completely different person. I could beat grown adult men in a fight. I was no longer scared of everything, I didn’t cry anymore. I’d lost the joyous spark in my eyes. I tried talking to them about what happened but… They thought I’m… mentally unwell. That I hallucinated everything. They’d never heard about the abyss or anything like it after all.”

“You don’t even blame them,” the god realized. They mistreated Childe like that, but he didn’t seem to resent them for it at all.

“I don’t. From the viewpoint of a normal person, I can understand, you know? I just wish they’d try to listen to me a little more instead. They did what they thought was best, because they didn’t know any better. You know what happens if you fight for your life every second for three months?” Childe asked softly, looking at him with an unreadable expression.

Zhongli knew the answer a little too well, he thought. He too, had this experience after the archon war went on for a while. “You become bloodthirsty. Hungry for battle, for stronger opponents. The weak ones can’t satisfy you anymore. And once you no longer need to fight, it feels like… a withdrawal of sorts, like the alcoholic who no longer gets their ale.”

Childe’s expression changed, looking a little surprised. Maybe he hadn’t expected for the adeptus to know this feeling this well. He hadn’t properly talked about just how feral he had been in the archon war after all.

“Yes, exactly like that. So I started picking fights around the village. My father got fed up with me and brought me to a group of fatui, hoping they would give me a beating and I’d learn a lesson. He watched me beat a group of twenty adult, armed fatui soldiers with only my two hands. One of them got away and called for backup, and Pulcinella, the fifth harbinger, came to see who was wreaking havoc on his troops. He told my father he’d take me to Zapolyarny to punish me by serving the Tsaritsa. That’s how I became a fatuus. Worked my way up in only four years, I was made a harbinger when I was 18 years old. Youngest by far,” Childe said with a light grin, taking another chocolate.

So that’s how the ginger had become a fatuus. Fresh out of the abyss, after three months of fighting for his life every minute, with parents overwhelmed with how their child had changed. How sad. “I can see how your parents wouldn’t have understood the change, but still…”

“Let’s be realistic. There wouldn’t have been any other options, really. With how much of a troublemaker I was afterwards, I either would have ended up with the fatui, or in jail. And the fatui is the better option. Also, If I hadn’t become a fatuus, I would have never been sent to Liyue. And that would have been a pity, I ended up meeting you after all. And I like it here a lot,” the ginger admitted, smiling softly. It made Zhongli’s heart pound in his chest.

“Right, that would have been a pity. I’m glad we met.” He said. Maybe one day he’d have the courage to be honest with Childe just how glad he was. But that day wasn’t today. The embarrassment of the chopstick incident was still too fresh in his mind.

The ginger smiled, making himself a little more comfortable with the pillows. “Me too.”

Seeing Childe like this was not good for his heart, Zhongli decided. Not that he would do anything at all in the future to change anything. Because while it may not be good for his heart, it was very good for his heart at the same time.

This was one of the things he wished for. Quiet, cosy nights like this. Chatting in his dimly lit bedroom, drinking tea and eating sweets. Getting to know each others souls. Not the masks, not the people they showed to everyone else. But what laid below all the pretence and theatrics, baring their souls only for them to see.

Maybe the younger man wouldn’t find Morax as off-putting as he worried. He understood, after all. The bloodlust and the slaughter. He knew combat just as intimately as he did. Childe might not see himself as much of a monster as he saw himself as one.

Surprised, he noticed that Childe had reached over, reaching for his right hand. He held it carefully and turned it around repeatedly, seemingly inspecting it. His hand holding onto him was pleasantly warm.

“Interesting?” Zhongli asked with a smile. Childe seemed to become more comfortable with him, with physical contact as well. And he definitely didn’t mind.

The ginger ducked his head a little. “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself-“

Before he could let go of his hand, Zhongli quickly assured him. “It’s fine, look all you want.”

“I can’t decide if the lines are glittering, glowing or like… flowing, moving? Or all at once,” Childe said softly, turning his hand around again.

“ They’re pure geo energy flowing through my body, a constantly running stream. So you are right, it is all at once. The energy itself shimmers and glows, even more so when I use my powers.” The adeptus explained, watching Childes other hand move, his pointer finger carefully following the pattern on the back of his hand.

He didn’t remember the last time someone touched him gently. Of course he remembered the loving touch of his parents, and the playful nudges and head pats of Guizhong. But he couldn’t remember the specific last time. But then again, he had never been touched quite like this, had he? By someone he loved this much.

Zhongli’s pulse was running, oh how much he wanted to grasp Childes hand and pull him towards himself! Wrap his arms around him and whisper sweet nothings to him. Try out any and all pet names he could come up with, see which one would be perfect for the ginger.

“They’re really pretty, I’ve never seen anything like it,” Childe murmured, moving the brunettes fingers to get a closer look at how the lines behaved when the fingers moved. “Sorry, is… is this weird? I should stop, shouldn’t I?”

“It’s not, really. I told you, look all you want, I meant it.” Zhongli replied gently, using his other hand to pull the sleeve of his robe up a little more, revealing his lower arm. Almost immediately, Childes fingers were tracing up the lines, making him shiver.

“Are you sure, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable…” Childe murmured quickly when he noticed the adeptus shivering.

“I am sure. ’m sorry if that was weird, I’m just not used to being touched this carefully,” he quickly assured. “It’s pleasant, I couldn’t help it.”

“Oh, okay. Good. Not weird, don’t worry…” The fatuus said, turning his arm and tracing the lines on the inner side, making Zhongli shiver some more. His touch was featherlight as it ran down from the inner side of the elbow, down the lean muscles of the arm, over his wrist and into the palm of his hand, then back up along other lines.

Zhongli felt like he was about to combust. He was sitting here in his bed, with the man he loved, getting his arm and hand – caressed? There seemed to be no hesitation other than Childe’s worry about him being uncomfortable with it.

He- he called his hands pretty, even. Well, the lines. But still. He really didn’t find them to be gross or ugly or scary. He voluntarily touched them, wanted to have a closer look at them. Zhongli couldn’t help but wonder if Childe would do the same if he ever saw the rest of the lines running over his upper body. Would he trace them all, just like this? Along his shoulders and collarbone, down the sides of his chest and the curves of his ribs, to his back, moving over the sigil placed in the middle of it?

“Have they always been there? Or is that something you chose to look like? Adepti can change their form after all, right?” Childe asked quietly.

“We can change form as we please, but we do have our true forms. Which, for one are the form of the animal that we are, but we also have a humanoid true form, which is our human shape that we cannot change. These lines are part of my true form.”

The fatuus took a sip from his tea with his free hand, still occupied tracing the geo lines. “So you can’t change anything about your true form?”

“Correct. I can however choose how much I want to show of my true form. For example, right now I’m showing the arms. I could choose to show my entire true form, save for the horns. Or save for horns and tail. Or I could just let completely show everything. It’s all a matter of control. But I cannot change the way these things look. I couldn’t make my arms blue, for example. I could, but it would be a transformation, just like what I look like day to day when frequenting the Harbour. It would not change what I truly look like.” Zhongli hoped this made sense as he reached for a piece of chocolate.

“So you can transform yourself to look like anything you want, but your true form is unchangeable.” Childe said, looking at him with a silent question.

The adeptus nodded and hummed. “Mhm, exactly. I could make myself a woman if I wanted to. Or give myself blonde hair. But going back to my true self would always look the same.”

Childe looked up to him curiously, brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes with his free hand. “I did read that you went incognito in the past as women, is that true?”

“A few times. Which shape I took always depended on what I wanted to learn. To make decisions for the liyuen people, I had to experience how all kinds of people lived. So sometimes I’d go incognito as women. I’m not the kind of man who is put off by feminine things and gets their ego injured by enjoying things typically associated with femininity.” He explained.

“But I was born a man and I do prefer a male body. But there were adepti that would opt to permanently live in the body of the opposite sex, because they felt more comfortable like that.” Zhongli added.

“Wait, when you change to a woman, do you… change completely? Internally too, I mean could you technically… bear a child like that?” Childe asked wide-eyed, raising his eyebrows.

Zhongli nodded. “One doesn’t have to, but it is possible. I know of adepti that were in same-sex relationships that had children this way. I would say for adepti… Our view on biological sex is a little different than humans. If you can change shape and form as you please, things are a little more fluid. Adepti were in same-sex relationships with each other for long times when humans still shunned each other for it. Luckily, things have become more relaxed over time. Personally, I never understood why they shunned others for who they loved, but I am an adeptus after all.”

“Mhm, I never understood that either. Let people love who they love, it’s supposed to be something beautiful after all, isn’t it?” The ginger played with the gods fingers, watching the shimmering lines shift and sparkle.

“Exactly. Two people finding each other and loving each other is a joyous occasion, they shouldn’t have other people making them feel bad for it. Enough people never find someone. Or at least not someone who reciprocates their affection. And I imagine there must be little more beautiful in life than having your love returned.”

Childe may not return his feelings, but just being here like this, already was one of the most precious things he’d experienced in his long lifetime after all. So he couldn’t imagine how it would feel, knowing that your chosen one loved you back. The joy and love bubbling away inside you. Getting to experience the other persons love and affection.

“People do say so. I remember when brother Artyom got married. They looked so happy. And in traditional snezhnayan weddings, you… it’s hard to translate, but basically you promise your life to your partner. You’re basically telling them that you want to be theirs alone until your last breath, and vice versa. Snezhnayan weddings are no casual thing, you need to be really sure you want to marry that person.” The fatuus said, smiling slightly.

He took a deep breath, looking at the adeptus intently. “So we do not use words like love easily. We do not tell someone we love them if we are not completely serious and have not already thought about a future with that person. The moment a snezhnayan tells you they love you, it means they basically thought about your whole life together in both the most positive way and the most negative way it could happen. And they still decided they want to live it with you, no matter which it could be. That’s how serious we are about this.”

Zhongli couldn’t help but smile. “Sounds nice,” he said softly. “At least for a possessive dragon like me. But then, most normal people wouldn’t want me as their partner so I’m not sure I’m a good judge of things like that,” he chuckled. Regular people would probably think of these customs as a bit intense.

Childe laughed softly, tapping his finger along the lines in Zhongli’s palm. “Eh, I’m sure divorce rates between dragons and snezhnayans are equally low, considering you said dragons mate for life. Snezhnayans may not be dragons, but I’ve never heard of a divorce except for really drastic reasons. A woman from my village got divorced after her husband threatened to kill her over jealousy when she started working again after their child was old enough.”

“That must have been awful,” Zhongli said, shaking his head. What an awful man, threatening his wife like that. Especially considering how serious these people were about marriage.

“Not for long, he was accidentally left behind in the forest by his brother when they went to chop wood and a bear ended up eating him,” Childe said, making quotation marks with his free hand at the word “accidentally”.

“That’s how seriously we take marriage, and what might happen if it’s your fault that you divorced.” Childe added. “Even your family will shun you.”

“Looks like dragons and snezhnayans would be a good match,” Zhongli said before he could think. Oh for Celestia’s sake, he did not just say that. He did not just give away his feelings for Childe, did he?

Chapter Text

Childe looked at Zhongli surprised, feeling his heart hammer into his throat. That wasn’t- he didn’t mean them, did he? Just dragons and snezhnayans in general. Of course he meant it like that, why would he mean them specifically?

Zhongli had said it himself. Mountain dragons only loved one person in their life. And sure, he never said anything about there having been someone, but the man was closer to 7000 years old. Of course there had been someone. Zhongli already found his one for sure, a long time ago. Whoever they were, they had passed away already.

“Yeah, I guess they would. See, the solution all along. Just put the possessive dragons with the possessive snezhnayans.” He said with a soft laugh, trying not to show how his heart was hurting.

For so long, he had only seen himself as her majesty’s loyal weapon. Had pretended to rid himself of his own humanity because he didn’t believe he had any left. He had carefully shielded his heart in layers and layers of ice, so being treated as something else would no longer hurt. His purpose was to serve, to strike down the Tsaritsa’s enemies as her abyss-tinted blade.

But the warmth of Liyue had started melting the ice around his heart, along with Zhongli chiselling away at it – probably without even realizing. Even if he knew now that the adeptus had felt his abyss taint from the start, he always treated him like a normal person. Never as something less. Even now, after seeing his foul legacy. He didn’t see Childe as a monster. Even more so, he treated him almost like something special, something precious.

What wouldn’t he give to be Zhongli’s one? At this point, if the Tsaritsa ever made him attack Liyue again, he didn’t think he could do it. This place changed him. He loved it here, he loved its archon. How was he supposed to go against his heart like this? And how was he supposed to be her loyal vanguard, when his heart belonged to a different god and his nation?

The brunette smiled. “Who knew, we could have prevented the dragons dying out.”

“The only issue would be the temperatures. Snezhnayans have trouble with the heat, dragons trouble with the cold…” Childe mused. “Well, if they’re in a relationship, I suppose that would mean lots of cuddling to keep the dragon warm.”

Would Zhongli like that, cuddling with his partner? Holding them close, touching tenderly. He said he wasn’t used to being touched gently. Did his chosen one die before the archon war even? Had they ever been in a relationship, or had it been something one-sided?

“Sounds good, dragons are affectionate creatures,” Zhongli replied, still watching him play with his hand. He’d done so for a while, and he didn’t seem to mind. Just the occasional shiver going through his body when his fingers ran over an especially sensitive part of his skin.

So far he’d found that the inside of his arm was a lot more sensitive, especially on his wrist and towards his elbow. He seemed to enjoy his touch, and Childe selfishly enjoyed touching him like this. He would take anything he could have. If their friendship would include gentle touches, sure, he definitely wouldn’t say no.

“Really?” He asked softly, connecting the geo lines on the back of the gods hand.

“Mhm. Another reason why they probably can be annoying as partners. They like to keep touching their partner. Just casually holding their hand or putting their arms around them. Or lean against them.” Zhongli smiled softly, reminiscing. “I remember my father curling around me when I was still small. I used to be scared of storms, lighting scared me. But like that, I would always feel safe. Father around me, softly telling me stories until I fell asleep.”

“That sounds cute,” Childe couldn’t help but say. He wondered what the adeptus had looked like as a small child. Probably adorable. With big, bright eyes and messy brown hair, maybe cute chubby, rosy cheeks.

The brunette reached for his tea with his free hand. “It sure was cosy. The best sleeps I had. Even better when mother was there too, father curled around us both.”

“Losing them must have been painful,” Childe said, lightly squeezing Zhongli’s fingers.

“It was. Still is sometimes, I guess. I often wonder what they would have said about things that I’ve done in my life. Would they have been proud to find out I’ve became the geo archon? Or would they be more upset by the knowledge what I did in order to get there? Would they, maybe, be prouder of the man I am today?”

Childe lightly squeezed his fingers again, hoping it would feel a bit reassuring. “I’m sure they would be proud of you. All of you. Because they would surely know that everyone makes mistakes, and that people can change. They would have been proud to know that their son led Liyue to be a prosperous nation, and that his people worshipped him as a wise and fair leader. And they would surely be proud of Zhongli as well, how Liyue looks up to him as a beacon of knowledge and wisdom, and as keeper of their traditions.

See, I know how things are elsewhere. Us snezhnayans, we are devout to her majesty, but her majesty has no love for her people. We are her servants, and we live our lives in the icy cold, hoping never to conjure up her wrath lest the ice gets you. Which, probably would be similar to the wrath of the rock, except her majesty will turn people that wronged her into ice statues and display them at Zapolyarny Palace. If you visit there, you will marvel at the statues, so detailed and seemingly lifelike. Until you realize that they are people, frozen for the rest of time, until she gets mad and decides to shatter them.

But being here in Liyue… the people love Rex Lapis. Sure, they don’t want the wrath of the rock to hit them, but generally they know that won’t happen except they don’t keep their contracts. But the general public isn’t scared of you. You are their protector, their leader. They looked to you for guidance, protection, and they knew you would lead them into a prosperous future for the better of all of Liyue. Your parents definitely would be proud of that.”

Zhongli stared at him for a moment, and he was worrying he’d said something wrong. His hand reached for the one Childe was still tracing the geo patterns with, closing his larger one around his. The adeptus gently squeezed the gingers hand, once, twice. Holding on for a moment, before letting go and moving back to rest on Zhongli’s thigh.

“Thank you,” the god said, barely above a whisper. Childe could feel a shiver run down his spine at the husky sound of it.

He smiled softly. “Just saying it how I see it. It was obvious how sad people were when Rex Lapis passed away. So if you ever decide to tell them, I think they will be happy to know that you are alive after all, and that you had so much trust in them to keep Liyue going as a great nation all by themselves.”

“Maybe, that would be nice. Them understanding why I did it instead of being mad about being deceived. I… do think I went about it a bit too hurried. I should have taken more time to think about everything, maybe there would have been a way without giving up my gnosis. But what’s done is done.” The adeptus sighed, reaching for a piece of chocolate. “And else I wouldn’t have met you. So it was the right thing after all.”

Zhongli looked at him curiously, making Childe wonder what he was thinking about. The brunette reached out, brushing his fingers in a vertical line over his collarbone, just where he’d felt the robe slipping a bit off his shoulder a little while ago. He hadn’t thought too hard about it, they were both men and what was a bit of chest and shoulder showing? He was still fully dressed after all, the collar had just moved to the side a bit.

It took him a moment to realize, where exactly Zhongli’s warm fingers had brushed over.

“What happened?” The adeptus asked softly, running them over the scar going from the top of his shoulder over his collarbone, ending at the top of his pectoral muscle. It used to be angry and red, but it had faded quite a bit over the years, luckily. Same as many of his other scars.

“Mhm that one was a rifthound claw. Ripped my collarbone apart there, I had to walk around with my arm fixed in place so the bone wouldn’t move too much.” He explained.

The brunette looked at him, raising his eyebrows. His fingers on his skin were so nice and warm. “Were no healers available? Or couldn’t you heal yourself?”

“I never quite got the hang of hydro healing. I mean I can heal things like scrapes and small cuts, but anything bigger than that is beyond me. And the healers at Zapolyarny Palace wouldn’t touch me with a pole. There was this rumour going around that since I’m an abyss creature, I’d basically suck out their life force. The only person who would assist me would be Il Dottore, but… I don’t want him to touch me, because I know he wants to experiment on me really badly. So walking into his lab, I’m not sure I’d get out with all my organs still in my body.”

Zhongli softly shook his head, furrowing his brows. “How awful. Next time you get hurt, you come to me.” He said quietly, his fingers moving upwards over his shoulder to the side of his neck, brushing along the thin scar there. “This one?”

Childe smiled slightly. “Only if I get some tea and a meal with the wound cleaning and scolding,” he teased. “Treasure hunter. Thought I’d back off if he put a knife to my neck.”

“Anything you want,” the adeptus said easily, making the gingers heart beat faster. “You can always come to me if anything is the matter, no matter what. No matter when. Even if it’s the middle of the night. Do you understand?” looked at him intently, as if he wanted Childe to understand how serious he was about this.

“Thank you. Same goes for you, though I probably am not going to be much help for whatever problems you could have,” Childe said with a lopsided smile. What kind of help would an abyss monster be to a god? But maybe he would be able to help in some capacity.

Zhongli looked at him with a warm, gentle expression, that made him practically feel how more layers of the ice around his heart melted away. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

The older man kept caressing the scar on his neck for a moment, before pulling away and brushing against his left temple instead, just at the end of his eyebrow. “And here?”

Oh this was not good for his heart, having Zhongli touch him like that. Every brush of his fingers was so gentle and careful, as if he was something precious and fragile. “Alexei and I were play fighting on the sofa, I fell off and bumped against the edge of the coffee table.”

Zhongli grimaced, as if he could imagine how painful that had been, especially for a child. He just kept carefully brushing over the scar. “That must have hurt.”

“Oh I had a headache for days. I think maybe even a slight concussion. I got to stay home from school for a week though, so that was a win in my book,” Childe chuckled. “And my brother felt bad for a few days too, which didn’t happen often when we argued.”

“Are you close with your siblings?” The adeptus asked absentmindedly.

“Hmm… It’s… complicated. I’m closer to my younger siblings than my older ones. They don’t really know anything, they just see me as their cool older brother who brings them gifts and does fun things with them. My younger sister knows I’m a fatuus, that I work for her majesty. But not what exactly my work as a harbinger is. She doesn’t know about my abyss taint, she is aware though that our parents and older siblings think that I’m… unwell.” He said softly. “The youngest two don’t know anything, they barely understand that our older siblings aren’t very fond of me. They… they do think I’m a toy seller.”

Zhongli chuckled, brushing a ginger strand of hair out of the way. “A toy seller? How did they come up with that?”

“I did actually. I just had to explain somehow why I keep going away for weeks at a time so I came up with this lie about having to go to different nations to show off our toys and sell them to shops. I… didn’t want them to know yet, they’re so young. And for them I’m still just their favourite big brother Ajax, not a fatuus or even Tartaglia…” The fatuus said quietly. One day he’d have to tell them, but he wanted them to stay children for awhile longer.

The adeptus looked at him surprised, blinking at him. “Ajax?” he asked softly, making the younger man shiver, hearing his birth name in the deep, pleasant voice. How often had he imagined what that would sound like? And the reality was a hundred – no a thousand – times better than what his imagination could have come up with.

He looked at Zhongli a bit sheepish, wondering what the other might think about his name. Did he find it stupid? Unfitting? Ugly even? He had never thought too hard about his own name, always thought that it wasn’t bad, fairly pleasant to pronounce. But someone else would have a different view. And a stupid little voice inside his heart wanted Zhongli to like it.

“My… my birth name,” he explained quickly. “My father, he liked tales about heroes and adventurers. He read a lot when he was younger. One time he read a story with a protagonist named Ajax, and the name stuck with him.”

“Hmm… Ajax…” Zhongli hummed, drawing his name out a little. “It’s a nice name. Pleasant to say. Ajax.”

“T-Thanks,” the ginger croaked, feeling weak. As if Zhongli’s hand at his temple wasn’t bad enough, now he was saying his name? Like that, like it was something beautiful?

“Ah, my apologies, Childe. I got carried away,” the adeptus said and for a moment he thought the other would pull his hand away. Which he didn’t, leaving Childe confused.

“Huh?” He asked, intelligently. Great job, Ajax.

“I shouldn’t have said it, after you told me. That… isn’t something for me to say. I didn’t intend to be rude, I apologize. Don’t worry, I’m not going to start calling you that just because you told me that it’s your birth name. You introduced yourself to me as Childe, so of course I will keep calling you that.” Zhongli looked to the side, almost a bit… embarrassed?

He would like Zhongli calling him by his birth name, he realized. He loved the sound of the gods smooth, deep voice saying his name. Making it sound almost like a prayer. Like something beautiful, when he didn’t find any beauty in himself. Of course he knew that people considered him fairly attractive, but being an abyss monster kind of… cancelled that out.

“You can call me Ajax, if you like. I don’t mind. I introduced myself to you as Childe because that’s what I’ve done to strangers ever since I became Tartaglia. To keep my family safe, so people wouldn’t know my actual name. But we’re no longer strangers, and I know I can trust you. My uh, full birth name is Ajax Ivanov. So you can call me whatever you like when we’re alone. I would prefer if you kept calling me Childe when we aren’t, since you never know when someone is listening in.. But if you’d prefer to keep calling me Childe, that’s fine of course!”

He tried not to sound overeager. Maybe Zhongli didn’t even want to use his birth name. Maybe he found it to be something too… intimate, considering Zhongli didn’t go by his real name either. He could see that he would prefer only the people closest to his heart calling him by his birth name. Especially after he mentioned that his thoughts on Morax were complicated.

Zhongli smiled softly, making Ajax’ heart pound in his chest. “If it’s really alright with you?”

“Sure, really.” He reassured.

“Then I would love that. Don’t worry, I will be careful not to call you by your name in the harbour. I wouldn’t want to put you in some kind of danger. I will be as discreet about it as if it was about my own identity, I promise you this as the god of contracts.” Zhongli looked at him, his eyes bright and intense, as if he wanted to make sure Ajax knew how serious he was.

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” He replied, gently squeezing the gods hand. He still hadn’t let go, still absentmindedly tracing the geo lines. But then, the others fingers still brushed against the scar on his temple and lightly against his hairline.

“Ajax. Ajax… Ajax,” Zhongli said softly, humming. “It fits you. I was pretty sure that you had a different name, but I couldn’t imagine what it would be. Especially since I’m not too familiar with snezhnayan names. And from the names of your siblings, I couldn’t really find a pattern, except that the majority of the boys seem to have a name starting with A. But then your youngest brother doesn’t, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Ah, yeah they did that on purpose, but I guess they ran out of names.” The ginger said, laughing softly.

“Probably,” the god chuckled. “But knowing it now, I can’t imagine any other name for you. Curious, your name ends with “ax”, just like mine.”

Ajax felt warm, he hoped he wasn’t blushing just because the other was saying these things. “Sometimes the world is small, is what my mother used to say. Strange coincidences happen when you least expect them to.”

“Well, I thank all the coincidences that brought you to Liyue,” the brunette said barely above a whisper. “I’m only starting to understand how terribly lonely I was before I met you.”

Chapter Text

When Ajax woke up the next morning, he felt incredibly comfortable. He couldn’t remember feeling so well-rested since his childhood. He could feel the warmth of the sunlight on his body, the breeze gently coming inside through an open window, the birds outside chirping happily.

It was then, that he remembered that this wasn’t his own bed and the events of the day before started slowly seeping back into his consciousness. There was a warm weight on him, and when he opened one of his eyes lazily, he could spot long, brown and amber hair fanned out partially over him and to the side of him. He opened his other eye and rose his head from the pillow a little to see better.

Zhongli was asleep on top of him. With his head resting on his chest, an arm thrown over him. Ajax’s arm around his back. As he observed him, he quickly realized that the other had let go of his transformations completely. At least he guessed it was completely.

He could see one of the beautifully curved horns, feeling the other pressing into his chest. It didn’t hurt though, they didn’t seem to have a sharp point. Upon closer inspection, Ajax could see a small golden filigree ornament at the end of the horn, with a little yellow jewel hanging from it. Maybe the horn itself was sharp, but this acted like a protection?

The gods hair was so, so long. It looked like all of it was long, save for the bangs framing his face, and like there was a lot more hair, which would result in a much thicker ponytail than he usually wore. There was a silky shine to it, making it look incredibly soft. What little he could feel with his arm draped around Zhongli, it was even softer than it looked.

Ajax swallowed dry when he could see the long, dark lashes resting on Zhongli’s cheekbones. His signature eyeliner had smudged a little, making it look more like a smoky eye than the sharp and sleek line it was usually. He was beautiful. Indescribable divine beauty.

He looked so relaxed. Completely at ease and soft with sleep. It made Ajax’ heart hurt. He wanted this every day, for the rest of his life. Very, very carefully, cautious not to wake Zhongli, he moved his head a little more. Pressing a tender kiss to the top of his head, into his silky hair.

He wished he could touch him. Caress his back or his face, let his hands run through his hair. Wake him up with a loving kiss. Maybe then they would cuddle some more, enjoying tender touches and kisses, before they would slowly get up to start their day. He would watch Zhongli style his hair and draw his eyeliner with practiced ease honed by millennia. Then maybe they would eat breakfast together, talk about their plans for the day.

And he’d be at work trying to pass the time until he could finally leave for lunch and see his beloved husband— He had to stop. If he kept indulging himself in these fantasies, one day he would slip up. And that could have catastrophic consequences. He couldn’t lose Zhongli. He would never, ever know what he truly meant to Ajax.

But that was fine. He would just take his love for Zhongli and would use it to be the best friend he could be. He didn’t have anyone else after all, and the adeptus had admitted that he had been terribly lonely before they met. So he would do his best so the brunette would no longer feel lonely.

There was a soft, rumbling noise that he noticed only now. It sounded almost like a cat’s purr, just a little deeper. It was then that he noticed that he could feel the vibrations on his chest. Did- Did Zhongli­—?

The fatuus could feel the heat crawl onto his face, and he was very sure he was visibly blushing at the delighted realization. Zhongli purred. While sleeping cuddled up against him, resting on his chest. Did dragons do that when they were comfortable, just like cats? Oh by Celestia, why was that so cute? This man was an adeptus, a god, a former archon, for Celestia’s sake! He shouldn’t find him adorable, wouldn’t that be an offense to someone like him?

He laid there for a while, listening to the adeptus softly purring, almost nuzzling his chest in the process. Then, he could feel the other stir with a soft, sleepy noise. First, Zhongli opened his eyes just a little bit, sleepily murmured “good morning, my love”, and with a mildly disgruntled sound moved his face into Ajax’ chest, hiding from the sunlight.

Ajax laid completely still, heat on his face getting worse, all the while he could feel his chest constrict painfully. Zhongli had dreamt of his deceased lover. And now he had to upset him, tell him that it was only him, and not… whoever he had been dreaming of.

“Good- Good morning, Zhongli,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

He could feel the other man go rigid. Then, with the blink of an eye Zhongli had moved away from him, almost doing a backwards roll in the process. Ajax tried not to let it hurt him too much, thinking of how gently they had been touching each other last evening.

“I-I apologize, this was not my intention at all. I… I must have been a little cold during the night. Normally I’d just wake up and get more blankets… I guess I must have felt your body heat and just… acted on instinct without waking up. Not that it is any excuse for this inappropriate behaviour.” The adeptus said, voice still a bit rough with sleep, not meeting his eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not bothered, you didn’t do anything inappropriate.” Ajax said gently, hoping to calm the other a little bit. It wasn’t like he had been touching him inappropriately or he had been naked or so after all.

“You… could have just pushed me off. Or… I don’t know, punched me.” The other man replied sheepishly, fidgeting with the sleeve of his robe.

Ajax laughed softly. “Yeah right, and then you wake up and I get hit with the wrath of the rock,” he joked.

Zhongli bristled. “I would never.”

“I told you, it’s not a problem. Whenever I go home, I sleep with three siblings piled on top of me. And it’s understandable that if you’re cold, you’d seek out warmth. Us snezhnayans are very warm. If you live in a place that cold, you don’t have a choice, you just have to make warmth yourself. I think they even said something in school about how our average body temperature is different from the rest of Teyvat… So I don’t blame a coldblooded dragon for cuddling up to a human furnace.”

The god looked at him a bit confused. He looked so different like this, with all his transformations gone. Faint, almost translucent scales scattered in a few places as a reminder that the person in front of him was truly a dragon. It was only then, that he noticed the scaly tail curled around Zhongli, amber fur on it’s tip. “You… didn’t mind?” he asked carefully.

“No? If I can be of help to you by being warm, then that’s fine. People have friendships in lots of different ways, if you want cuddling to be part of our friendship, it can be.” As if he wasn’t just saying that because he was selfish, because he had enjoyed it way too much. Because he was so weak for Zhongli, and he couldn’t help but greedily wanting everything that he could get.

“Oh. Then… then thank you.” The adeptus said quietly, brushing his hair out of his face. He frowned, apparently only now realizing that there was too much hair. He sighed. “I dropped everything, didn’t I?”

Ajax hummed. “I mean you were asleep, so of course you would.”

“Normally I don’t, not when I sleep at my apartment. But I guess it was much needed rest, I usually wake up a lot during the night. I didn’t do that once this night.”

“That’s good though, isn’t it? You need proper rest too. Even if you’re an adeptus and a god who doesn’t need as much sleep.”

The god hummed softly, and after Ajax blinked, the funeral consultant sat in front of him again, hair noticeably shorter and all his divine features gone.

“Would you like to eat breakfast here? Or would you prefer to get something in the harbour?” He asked while getting up from the mattress, grabbing his cor lapis hair ornament from the nightstand.

“I’m fine either way, I usually don’t eat a lot for breakfast anyways.” Ajax replied, stretching and getting up as well.

“You can use this bathroom to get ready,” Zhongli said, taking a brush out of the bedside table and brushing through his hair.

When Ajax emerged from the bathroom, all freshened up and clad in his day clothes, Zhongli was ready as well. He had hurried, trying not to occupy the bathroom for too long, so he was a bit confused to see that the other hadn’t been waiting for his turn.

“There’s a second bathroom just on the other side of this one” Zhongli explained at his questioning gaze, pointing to another door on the other side of the bedroom. “The architects that made this palace considered that I might have a partner or even Children one day, they felt it would be useful to have two master bathrooms.”

“How luxurious,” the ginger said. Did Zhongli maybe even have a partner while living in this palace? Did he— no, he would have mentioned if he had children at some point, wouldn’t he?

“Luxurious and pretty much unused, like many other things in this palace,” Zhongli mumbled almost inaudible, before starting to walk towards the kitchen.

Ajax opted for just some tea, while Zhongli made a quick soup.

“What are your plans for the day?”

“Hm. I do have a debt collection that I should get done soon. Katya said the debtor was last seen hiding in the ruins in Guili Plains.” Ajax said, fiddling with his teacup.

Zhongli took a sip of his soup. “Should I come along? I’ve been meaning to gather some herbs that grow around there, that the parlour uses for embalming practices. You could get your collection done, I can get the herbs, if there’s any problems I’d be close and could help as backup.”

“If you’d like, of course.” As if he would ever say no to a chance of spending more time with the adeptus.

“One of the realm entrances is there, so we could exit instead of using the teleport network. It would save a bit of time.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Let’s go once we finish breakfast? Better get it done before the debtor has time to move far.” Ajax stretched his fingers a bit. He was a little bit sore after their spar yesterday, but nothing that he couldn’t handle. His shoulder was hurting too, but he would just ignore it. He was used to these pains after all.

The god nodded, taking another sip of his soup. “I could always cage him in when needed.”

“Should I put you on Northland Banks payroll as my personal bodyguard?” the fatuus asked with a soft laugh. Wouldn’t that be something.

The brunette hummed softly. “I’m not sure director Hu would be happy with me pursuing a side career. Not that she needs to know that funeral consultant technically is already only a side career.”

“To be fair, you retired from your main job.”

“That I did, so I guess funeral consultant is my main job now after all.” Zhongli chuckled, finishing the last of his soup. “I’m done.”

Quickly, Ajax took the last sip of his tea, then got up with a nod. “Me too.”

“Just put it in the sink, I will take care of it later.” Zhongli said, waving his hand in a dismissive motion.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind washing up quickly.”

“I am, we don’t want your debtor getting away, do we?”

A while later, they were walking through Guili Plains together, keeping their eyes out for the herbs and debtor.

“Ah, I can spot some over there. I will catch up with you in a bit,” Zhongli said, walking off to the right. “Do call my name if anything happens and you need assistance!” he called from a distance, only turning back around after Childe gave him a thumbs-up in confirmation.

He kept walking further ahead, until he could spot a new looking camp between some of the ruins. That could very well be who he was looking for. Quickly, he summoned one of his hydro blades and kept it in his hand, hidden behind his back. Careful to be very quiet, he approached the camp.

Only to see someone had been faster than him.

“Dammit,” Childe cursed, staring at the body that was very obviously the debtor, fitting the description Katya had given him. Considering the whole camp had been turned upside down, all the crates emptied and only the body and tent had been left alone, it had probably been treasure hunters.

Looking at the state of the body, it had probably been a few days, maybe even shortly after he had been sighted in the first place. With how everything had been left, there was no point in trying to collect anything. He probably wouldn’t even find the treasure hunters in the area anymore.

“Done already? That was quick,” Zhongli said from behind him, walking the last bit of distance up to him.

“Wasn’t me. He’s been dead for a few days. I think treasure hunters got him,” Childe said with a sigh. “Well, nothing left to do for me.”

“I will notify the funeral parlour later to get this sorted,” Zhongli said, looking over the body. “Debtor or not, he deserves a proper burial.”

Childe shrugged. “Just bill it to the Northland Bank as usual. I found the body after all. And I doubt his family has the money to bury him, considering how much debt he took up with us.”

Zhongli nodded. “How kind of you, I will pass it along to the ferrylady.”

“Did you get your herbs?” The ginger asked. Maybe at least one of them would be able to do what they came here to get done.

“Some. But I need a few more. There should be some patches between the ruins, I remember there being some last year.” Zhongli said, carefully walking between the ruins.

“That’s fine, take your time. I’m not in a hurry, considering my job here is done,” Childe said, walking into a different direction. Maybe he would find something useful. Maybe the treasure hunters were still close after all.

He walked for a bit, looking around every now and then to spot Zhongli’s dark hair from afar, making sure he didn’t go too far away.

Suddenly, he noticed movement between the ruins a bit further ahead. He summoned his hydro blades and slowly walked over, careful not to draw attention to himself.

When he got close enough, he could see a young woman with long, grey hair sitting with her back against one of the walls. She had her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She looked up at him with light blue eyes, like washed out blue of the liyuen sky after heavy rain. They were tinted slightly reddish and a little puffy, clearly she had been crying.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He asked carefully, letting his hydro blade disappear. This woman didn’t look like there was anything he had to worry about.

She looked up at him confused. “I don’t understand,” she said.

“What don’t you understand?” Ajax asked, leaning down a little.

“I apologize, I don’t understand you. Whatever language it is that you speak, I do not speak it.” She said softly, shaking her head.

Which was weird, because Ajax understood her perfectly. And he did speak the common tongue to her. The languages that he did understand fluently were common and snezhnayan, liyuen enough to get around, though that was slowly but surely improving.

Ajax felt out of his depth. How was he supposed to help this woman, when she – for some reason – did not understand him? Only one person could help him now.

“Zhongli? Would you be so kind, I’m having a… language problem here?” He called, putting his hands around his mouth to make the sound travel farther.

“Zhongli?” The woman looked up to him wide-eyed. Wait, so she did know him?

It only took a minute or two for the adeptus to come hurrying over. “Childe, what’s the matter? What do you mean a language pro-“ he abruptly stopped, staring at the woman on the floor.

“I can understand her. But apparently she doesn’t understand me, though I spoke common with her. It’s… very weird.” Ajax explained, furrowing his brows in confusion, crossing his arms.

Zhongli knelt down in front of her. “Guizhong? Is that you? How…”

She surged forward, wrapping her arms around the god, hugging him tightly. “Zhongli! Guili Assembly, it’s all gone! How long have I been gone? It took me a long time to get back my consciousness, but for everything to fall to ruins?”

The adeptus carefully returned the hug. “3700 years, my friend. The plains flooded shortly after your death. But how can this be, how are you alive…?”

“I did not die. I simply returned to my original form as a dust sprite. I luckily retained my memories and spent all this time gathering strength to gain back a consciousness and corporeal form. This man, I do not understand what he said, is he a friend of yours?”

“This is Childe, a dear friend of mine, yes. You do not understand him because he spoke the common tongue, he is not familiar with the ancient liyuen language.” Zhongli explained gently, then turning to Childe. “Childe, this is Guizhong, my old friend.”

“But how do I understand her, if she speaks ancient liyuen?” Childe asked, raising a brow.

“The geo sigil I gave you. I made it so you would be able to understand ancient liyuen, because the library holds many books written in it, and I didn’t want you to only have access to the other ones. It works for the spoken language as well. Ah, wait,” Zhongli said softly.

Then he took one of Guizhongs hands, doing the same what he had done the day prior with Childe. “Now we should all understand each other. Much easier.”

“3700 years…” Guizhong whispered in disbelief. “Where is everyone then, are they safe?”

“Don’t worry. We travelled until we reached the coast, there we established Liyue Harbour. Liyue has prospered in all this time, just as you wished. Though many of our friends are no longer with us, I have to warn you.” Zhongli said, squeezing her shoulder. “The archon war was brutal, and only very few adepti survived, much less any gods.”

The goddess softly shook her head, then she smiled slightly. “You look a lot different than you used to do. And you act different! Did the mighty dragon calm down after all?” She asked in a teasing tone.

Zhongli scoffed. “I did, I guess. You do not know how Liyue is these days, so I think it would be best if you would stay in my realm for a while. I can get you accustomed to how things are now. I can teach you modern liyuen and the common tongue, so you will be able to communicate.”

“Tell me if I can be of any help,” Childe said carefully. He didn’t want to intrude. But if Zhongli could use his help, he would do so, always.

Even when the knowledge that Guizhong was alive after all these years was gnawing away at his insides. She had been Zhongli’s friend. Best friend, probably even. She knew him much longer than he did, much differently than he did. Maybe was even the person he loved.

So how was he supposed to compete against her? Having her back, would he even still be important to Zhongli? Would he be needed still? Or would he… would he just become unimportant and a bothersome third wheel that nobody wanted around?

Had he gotten so close to Zhongli only to lose him now, like this?

Chapter Text

They quickly made their way to the gods realm. Once inside, Guizhong marvelled at how everything looked, similar to how Childe had felt yesterday.

“How beautiful! Last time I was in here it was such a mess! You should have seen it, Childe. This stone platform had been there, an open fire, and a training area with a bunch of weapons. Nothing else! And the blockhead didn’t want to change anything because he thought it wasn’t important that it looks nice, as long as it serves its purpose.” She said, snickering softly.

“Slander,” Zhongli complained, a small twitch of his lips betraying him. “I have to go to Wangsheng briefly, make arrangements concerning the deceased in Guili, and I will ask Director Hu to give me the rest of the day off… maybe even a few days, I will just tell her to come get me if I am needed.”

“But you won’t be in your apartment,” Childe said. “So how will you know?”

“There’s a realm entrance in my apartment as well. I made it so I can hear the door knocking even inside my realm, so I will know if someone comes looking for me. Should I stop by Northland Bank for you and deliver a message to miss Ekaterina?”

Childe tried to collect his thoughts for a moment. He didn’t quite know what to do, didn’t know what Zhongli wanted from him. Would he want him to stay here and help? Or would he prefer to get some privacy with Guizhong, to enjoy them finally being reunited without him being there to disturb?

“Hm.. Just tell her that the debtor is dead and to write it all off since treasure hunters got him. And that I told you to bill the burial to the bank. Ah, and that I won’t be in today if there’s nothing urgent, but I’ll make sure to stop by sometime tomorrow.”

That was good, wasn’t it? Left him lots of options. If they didn’t want him around, he could just go home and take the day off, then go to work tomorrow like normal. And if they wanted him around for some reason, he could just stop by sometime tomorrow.

Guizhong stood close by, watching their exchange, waiting patiently.

Zhongli nodded. “Will do. Should I also get some lunch while I’m out? Maybe from Wanmin?”

“If you feel like it? Here,” Childe said, taking his Mora pouch off his belt and handing it to the adeptus.

“Thank you. I will be off then, I trust the two of you will get along just fine.” The god said with a gentle smile, squeezing his shoulder in passing. “I’ll be back soon.”

Being alone with Guizhong felt weird. They had moved to the kitchen, sitting down at the counter. He didn’t quite know what to do. As jealous as he felt, he didn’t want to be mean to her, because she seemed like a nice person. And maybe he would be able to stay Zhongli’s friend, especially when he tried to get along with her.

She was watching him curiously, her pale blue eyes never leaving him, sitting there with her chin leaning on her hands.

“What?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Ah, I was just wondering what kind of god or adeptus you are. I can feel power coming from you, but it’s nothing I’m familiar with, and your looks do not seem to give anything away,” she replied with an amused smile.

“Neither of those. I’m a normal human that fell into the abyss,” he explained. “That’s the power you probably feel. Zhongli does, in any case, so I would assume it’s the same for you.”

“Ooh, yes that explains things! How fascinating. As the goddess of dust, I know a great many things, you know? And I am not completely oblivious to how much Liyue changed, seeing as dust is everywhere, and I am dust itself. But of course, I can’t know everything. And while I do know about the abyss… There is no dust there. At least no dust that is like my own.” She hummed softly, tilting her head slightly.

Childe looked at her with interest. “So even when you didn’t have a body, you knew things?”

Guizhong brushed a strand of her long hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Mhm… it’s difficult to explain. Dust settles almost everywhere eventually, but dust itself is not sentient. When I regained my corporeal form, I just knew things, stored in the dust particles that have made up this new body. But since my body is made up from the dust of the Guili area, there’s many gaps to my knowledge.”

“That does sound very complicated,” Childe admitted.

She chuckled. “It is. So please don’t be surprised if I know some things and others not. Speaking of knowing… How long have you known Zhongli?”

“For… roughly seven months. Nothing compared to how long you’ve known him.” Childe answered with a shrug, getting up from his seat to start making some tea.

“I take it you know who he is, considering he let you inside? Gave you our own entry key, even. I think that might be a first, back then he would have never given anyone their own key.” The goddess said, watching him move around the kitchen.

Childe took out the kettle and a jar with dried jasmine tea. “I-I do, yeah.” Had Zhongli really never given anyone else a key? He did say he never really had people here, but still…

Guizhong regarded him intently. “Well, then you should understand that you know Zhongli now. While I knew him 3700 years ago. I may know the past of this man, but you know his present. He is – well I wouldn’t say a complete stranger, but he is clearly very different from what he was like back then. So don’t say those seven months are nothing compared to how long I’ve known him. “

Childe blinked in surprise. This was unexpected. He had expected her to laugh and say that it was nothing, that he didn’t know him the way she did. But this…

“You seem surprised by my answer,” she said softly, still watching him. Oh, she was very observant, wasn’t she? She was famous for her intelligence after all.

“I’ll be honest, if I may,” Childe said, watching the water closely while it came to a boil.

“Please do, I always appreciate when people are. I am not fond of two-faced people.”

“Well, then we are two. I need to be sometimes, because of my work, but I’d rather go about things more directly. Well, I did expect an opposite answer, I guess. Telling me that knowing him for seven months is nothing in comparison.”

“I promise you, I’m not that kind of person to say things like that. It’s silly, isn’t it? There’s not a competition. You are a dear friend of Zhongli, it is obvious. I am a friend of his past. You seem to be an interesting person, I would like if we could become friends as well.” She said softly, getting up and opening a few cabinets, probably looking for teacups.

“Two cabinets over from your right, the one at the top,” Childe guided gently.

She followed his direction, taking out two teacups. “Where was I… Oh right, as I said, I would like it if we could become friends as well! If you managed to get the blockhead to like you, you have to be someone special,” she said cheerfully.

“That would be nice,” Childe replied, not quite sure about it. Sure, she seemed nice. But he just couldn’t get rid of the jealousy gnawing at his insides. What if Zhongli really wouldn’t need him anymore now? What if he’d prefer Guizhong’s company?

“You aren’t liyuen, are you? Or is that what the people here look like nowadays?”

“No, no I’m not. I’m from Snezhnaya, all the way up north,” Childe carefully put the tea in to steep, looking at the small clock. He may not have drank much tea before he came to Liyue, but he learnt a thing or two from Zhongli.

“Oooh, fascinating! It’s very cold there, isn’t it? And for sure very different than Liyue. What brought you here, if I may ask?”

“Yes, it really is very different. Ah, the answer to that is long. Short answer: Work. That’s how Zhongli and I met. He was hired to teach me about liyuen culture and all, so I wouldn’t cause an international disaster.” Very carefully, he poured the hot water over the dried jasmine, careful not to spill anything. He might have a hydro vision but he could still scald himself with hot water.

The goddess watched him, making an inquisitive noise. “He was hired? So people hire gods to teach them things? How odd.”

Childe shook his head, putting the jar back to its designated place. There were about three dozen kinds of tea, stored in jars and sorted alphabetically. “The people in the harbour don’t know about him being a god. They think he’s a mortal. Well, and there’s a rumour going around he could be an adeptus, because he knows too much for a mortal. But officially, just a normal man working at a funeral parlour.”

“A funeral parlour?”

“He advises people about burial rites. But he’s famous in the whole harbour for being knowledgeable about almost any topic. I came here as a diplomat, and I work with the Northland Bank. So having someone knowledgeable on all local customs and the like was useful.”

Guizhong chuckled and shook her head softly. “He has become a completely different person from the one I knew, I think. When I knew him… He wasn’t stupid of course, but he wasn’t interested in knowledge the way I was. His knowledge was mostly of the martial kind. Which was why we made good leaders for the guili assembly. I had the brains, but my power is very limited.”

“You needed someone powerful by your side.” Childe said, watching the tea steep, checking the clock.

“Yes. People were talking about Morax, about how powerful the lord of geo was. It was during this time, that he received the title of warrior god. But when we met he was… like a feral animal, if I may phrase it like this. Fighting constantly to stay alive in these times, to the point where he almost forgot peace. I do not know what he was like prior to the archon war, but when we met, life had lost its value for him. Not in the way that he didn’t care about dying but rather that he didn’t care about killing. He would take lives with a swipe of his claws.” Guizhong said softly.

The ginger wasn’t fazed by this. He’d read the stories after all, and Zhongli had admitted a similar sentiment already. And as if he didn’t know the call of bloodlust very intimately himself. “He doesn’t talk a lot about the archon war. He did mention that he was very different then though. He told me that you were fascinated with humans, while he wasn’t interested at all.”

Guizhong laughed. “Oh yes, he really wasn’t. While I wanted to know everything. It’s so surprising to hear that he lives among the people, I always thought if he’d survive the archon war at all, he’d probably go and live like a hermit somewhere.”

“He had a promise to keep, he looked after the people. And as an archon, he had even more responsibility towards them, at least that’s what I think he felt like. He made sure Liyue would prosper, there’s a reason why he is considered the most powerful of the seven.” Childe checked the clock again, taking the dried jasmine out of the teapot and pouring two cups.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. As an archon? Zhongli became one of the seven?! I-I mean it’s not surprising with how powerful he’s always been but-“ Guizhong looked at him wide-eyed.

“Well, technically he’s retired now. Long story, I’m sure he’s going to tell you everything.” He said, putting down one cup in front of her.

“He better, else I’ll get mad,” Guizhong squinted and cracked her knuckles playfully.

Childe couldn’t help but laugh. As much as he wanted to dislike her, it seemed to be a difficult thing to do. The grey haired woman was genuinely nice, curious and chatty, and apparently very honest too, wearing her heart on her sleeve. He could see why Zhongli liked her so much. Maybe everything could work out and he really could be friends with her and stay friends with Zhongli too?

But what if Guizhong was Zhongli’s beloved after all? He would be third-wheeling a couple, wouldn’t that be awkward for them and him? Though, if they were a couple… Wouldn’t they have behaved differently upon meeting again after so long? Wouldn’t they have kissed?

Wouldn’t Zhongli have sent him away right then, and not bothered taking him back to his realm as well? If he had wanted to be alone with her, he would have told him, right? Or had he seen through him, knew of his feelings, and didn’t dare to upset him in fear of losing a friend? Why did this have to be so complicated?

The fatuus set down his own cup, a little sloshing over the rim and onto the counter. He groaned in annoyance.

“Ah, let me grab a towel-“ Guizhong said, moving to get up from her seat.

“It’s fine,” Childe quickly motioned her to sit down, using his hydro control to gather the tea on the counter into a small ball, letting it float to the sink with a quick flick of his fingers. “Perks of a hydro vision,” he said with a lopsided smile.

Guizhong watched him wide-eyed and full of wonder and excitement. “How did you do that?! Is that part of your abyss powers?”

Ah, so she didn’t know about visions. It made sense, they hadn’t been a thing during the archon war after all, had they? So she wouldn’t know that there were vision holders and what they were capable of.

He took his hydro vision off his belt and put it on the counter for her to look at. “A vision enables you to have control over the element of the vision you received. I got a hydro vision, so I can control water. Someone with a pyro vision can control fire, with a cryo vision it’s ice… And so on, for the seven elements of the seven archons. Though, how exactly visions are given out, you’d have to ask Zhongli. I don’t know. People say it means you’ve caught an archon’s eye, but I wouldn’t know what I’ve done that the hydro archon would notice me.”

“Fascinating. Is that not the archon of your homeland then? People anywhere can get any vision?” Guizhong asked, looking at the vision curiously, turning it a bit around and watching the light catch in the blue gem.   

“Snezhnaya is governed by the cryo archon. So yeah, you can get any vision, no matter where you’re from. People also have very different circumstances of how they receive their visions. I got mine while I was in the abyss, in deadly danger. But there’s people that got theirs in less dangerous situations.” He explained, taking his vision back and putting it back on his belt.

“I never asked Zhongli about it yet, I don’t know if he’d even be allowed to tell me. Considering he’s the geo archon, if the archons do give them out themselves, they all must have a certain strategy I would guess…” Childe added and took a sip of his tea, noticing that it was not quite as good as Zhongli’s, but it tasted fine nevertheless.

He shrugged lightly, leaning onto the counter with his arms. “Us regular people don’t even know what it actually means. Do the gods collect skilled individuals for something? Or does it just mean that we have been graced by the gods?”

How often had he asked himself this question? Why had the hydro archon picked him? What did it mean, and what was the vision’s purpose in the first place? Those were secrets nobody knew. Well, at least not the regular folk and the vision holders themselves. An archon would probably know.

Guizhong looked at him with a conspiratorial grin. “Whoever comes around to asking him first, tells the other. Deal?”

“What, really?” He laughed. This was certainly unexpected. “You’re making deals like that with me?”

“Why not, it’s nothing bad. And Zhongli knows I’m dying for knowledge,” the goddess replied, still grinning, her pale blue eyes shining with mirth.

“Should you be saying such things?”

“I didn’t come back from dust to not make such jokes,” she said easily, sipping her tea. “If anyone ever dares to complain, I will make their house stay dusty for all eternity, no matter how much they clean.”

Childe shook his head, softly laughing. “You’re something.”

“I may not be powerful, but I have knowledge and humour. I’ve been told I’m good company.” The goddess brushed her hair out of her face again, huffing softly. “I will have to ask Zhongli to lend something to manage my hair. I barely managed to gather some dust to make a robe out of.”

“You can make things out of dust?” The fatuus asked, intrigued. Could she make anything she wanted?

“I can, but it takes a bit of power. And I pretty much used it all up to get my corporeal form back, and then make this garment. I will need a few days to recuperate before I could even try making the smallest thing.” She explained, sighing softly. “So you see, I really am quite weak. I am not bad with a sword but martial arts only get you so far in a war of gods. I… never expected to survive in the first place, if I’m honest.”

“Understandable. I… when I fell into the abyss, I didn’t expect to survive. It took a lot for me to do. I had to let the abyss enter me. It was becoming tainted by the abyss or dying. And I had people that I wanted to see again really badly…” Childe admitted. The thought of having to be around for Tonia had been on his mind constantly then.

The goddess gave him a small, sad smile. “When I returned to dust, I thought about that too. That I eventually wanted to see my friends again. A dust sprite isn’t really a consciousness but it’s still… something. And in that form, I waited and hoped that I would see them again one day. Though it sounded like most of our friends are gone. But at least Zhongli is still here, and now I get to make new friends.”

“The quicker you learn, the faster you can go explore Liyue,” He said, warming his hands with his teacup.

“Oh you bet I’ll spend all my time learning, I want to go and see how everything looks now. Meet all the people I can. You know how boring it is, being a dust sprite, when you experienced how it is to be a person? So I’m sorry if I come across terribly overeager,” Guizhong said, shooting him an apologetic smile. “I probably come across almost like a child.”

“Not at all. I can understand that it must be very exciting for you. And you should be, Liyue is a beautiful place.” He had fallen in love with Liyue himself after all, with this beautiful and warm place. No matter how often he walked the same places, he still found them stunning. He couldn’t quite get enough of this beautiful land and its kind people. Where every new day was one where he felt comfortable and happy. And where he finally had a place where he felt safe and relaxed. Things he didn’t know from staying in Zapolyarny Palace, being constantly at attention in case any of the other fatui agents or harbingers decided to attack him.

“You love it here, don’t you? There’s something about your look that almost makes me think that you don’t really want to go back to your homeland.” Guizhong mused, tilting her head a little. She reached for the teapot, pouring both of them more tea.

“You’re terribly observant, aren’t you?” The ginger laughed. She really had seen right through him.

Chapter Text

It took a little while, but eventually, Zhongli had finished all his errands. He’d successfully gotten a few days off, by making an excuse about an old friend visiting for the first time in a long time and them not being familiar with the area. Which was only half a lie, he guessed.

But Director Hu was actually quite happy to give him time off, he’d barely ever taken any since he started working for her after all. If something urgent came up, her or the ferrylady would come fetch him.

He then told miss Ekaterina what Ajax had told him to and made a similar excuse. About a friend of his visiting for the first time in a long time, Childe was so kind to help out with some things, he’d come in sometime tomorrow if there wasn’t anything urgent.

Then he went to get food at Wanmin, opting for a choice of different things where everyone could just take some, instead of individual portions. He found that to be easier.

Walking back to his apartment to get back into his realm, he really hoped that Ajax and Guizhong got along. It would be nice, considering they were both important to him. In a way, Guizhong was like a little sister to him. While Ajax was the love of his life. Though they were only friends. Well, mutually best friends even.

Maybe Ajax would stay over today as well? Even if it had been embarrassing at first, it had been so nice to wake up with him. Even if he was still half asleep at first and accidentally called him “my love” and cuddled more into him. But it seemed that Ajax didn’t think too hard about it. And yesterday… yesterday had been amazing.

A shiver ran down his spine just thinking of Ajax’ slender fingers on his skin. Maybe, if Ajax wanted to stay over, they could spend their time similarly in the evening. Having tea and talking. He had enjoyed it greatly and it had seemed that the fatuus liked it as well.

The more time he spent with him, the more intense his feelings grew. He had gone away for just a little more than half an hour and he already ached to see Ajax again. There was a soft fluttering feeling in his stomach whenever he was with him, and it seemed to be more intense whenever they saw each other again after being apart for a little bit. He’d felt it grow more intense just this morning, while both of them had gotten ready by themselves.

As he entered his apartment, he felt the anticipation bubble up inside of him. His steps quickened, hurrying to get back to his beloved and his friend.

Zhongli heard soft chatter from the kitchen, breathing a sigh of relief. He had feared he’d get back to total silence. “I’m back,” he called out gently as he entered.

“Oh, already! That was fast.” Guizhong piped up, looking a bit impressed.

“Ah, welcome back,” Ajax said softly. “Did everything go well?”

“Of course, don’t worry. Miss Ekaterina sends her regards, she said things are quiet and you needn’t worry. She would send someone to fetch you at my place if anything is the matter. I… I excused you by saying that an old friend of mine has come to town and that you were so kind to help me out a bit.” The god explained, hoping it would be fine.

He walked over to the counter, past Ajax – not without lightly brushing his hand against his back, delighting at seeing him shiver under his touch– and set the food down. Quickly, he took out three pairs of chopsticks and started unpacking the food. “I just brought a few things, I thought it’d be a smarter choice than individual portions,” he explained while sitting down.

Guizhong looked at the different containers with interest, looking quite obviously hungry.

Ajax got up, and for a second Zhongli was confused. Was he bothered by sitting so close together? Should he have sat down on the opposite side? He watched the fatuus walk to one of his cabinets and take out a teacup, then walking back and set it in front of him. Only now he noticed the teapot and that the other two already had cups in front of them.

It made him feel warm. He could have gotten up and got a cup for himself once he noticed. But Ajax did it for him. Now filling his cup with tea for him, even. He smiled gently. “Thank you.”

“Ah, it’s nothing. It’s not as good as yours though, I apologize,” The ginger said a bit sheepishly.

“I’m sure it is lovely, nonetheless. Oh, your mora pouch. Here. Thank you very much,” he carefully took out the dark red pouch, handing it back to its owner. Then he took a sip of tea, humming in delight. “See, I was right. What a gentle taste.”

Ajax looked at him for a moment, then quickly started explaining the different dishes to Guizhong. Zhongli couldn’t help but smile, seeing the man he loved being so nice to his old friend. He took another sip of his tea, listening to the fatuus. When he was done, they started eating.

Guizhong fixed him with a gaze, squinting her eyes. “You.”

“What, me?” Zhongli asked, picking up a piece of pickled cucumber and ate it.

“Don’t think Childe didn’t tell me you won the archon war. And you retired! Why would you retire from a position like that!” She said, exasperatedly moving her chopsticks.

“Careful, you’ll stab Childe’s eyes out at this pace. Which would be a pity, they’re very pretty eyes,” he replied, moving her hand down a little with his own. He could see Ajax’ head whip around and look at him for a moment.

“You think my eyes are pretty?” The fatuus asked with an unbelieving expression.

“They are. Is that weird?”

“No! No, just unexpected. Thank you,” he said softly, ducking his head a little, a tiny smile on his lips. It looked so cute when he did that, the way it made him look almost shy.

He smiled back at him, gently nudging his shoulder with his own. “You’re welcome.”

Guizhong, having forgot her earlier annoyance, watched them closely. She looked at Zhongli, raising her eyebrows slightly, her gaze speaking volumes. He only shrugged noncommittally. He’d explain some other time. Ajax was present, after all.

“To come back to your… whatever it was. Yes, I was the geo archon. And yes, I decided to retire,” he said, reaching for a piece of crystal shrimp. “I no longer felt that I was needed, and it was proven to me that the people can look after themselves now. I enjoy living in the harbour with nobody knowing who I am. I am just Zhongli, consultant at the Wangsheng funeral parlour.”

“But why, why would you give up a position like that! If I’d be an archon, you’d pry that from my cold, dead hands!” She motioned with her chopsticks again, but then decided to pick up a jade parcel.

“Another death joke?” Ajax asked distractedly between two bites of a mora meat.

“Hey, if anyone here can make these jokes, it’s me.” Guizhong declared.

“Not like I haven’t died, but I normally don’t joke about it. Maybe I should, is that a good coping method?” the fatuus asked, making a thoughtful expression.

“You did what?” Zhongli and Guizhong asked almost at the same time. The adeptus could feel his stomach drop.

Ajax shrugged, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I died a few times.”

“How often is a few times?” The former archon asked, carefully. Even once sounded too much for his liking.

“Eh, I lost track of that. I think maybe ten times? Maybe fifteen times? The abyss doesn’t let you die. Very painful though, I don’t recommend ever trying it.”

The dust goddess stared at him. “What do you mean it doesn’t let you die?!”

Ajax sighed softly, taking a quick sip of tea. “Well, no you can die in the abyss. But when you do die, it’s immediately when you fall in. Like, in the first two hours or so. But if you survive that, the abyss starts to permeate you. It becomes a part of you. And either it consumes you and makes you a full abyss monster or… You manage like master and I did. Make the power your own. Reject the transformation as a permanent change. When the abyss has become a part of you, you can no longer die permanently in there, you basically feel the pain of dying but like… you get back up half an hour later, like it didn’t happen.”

“That’s what your foul legacy is. The shape the abyss wanted to give you.” Zhongli said gently.

Ajax nodded. “Yes. If I would have let it overwhelm me, I would have looked like that permanently. But I fought to keep the upper hand, so now I can use it as a power at my disposal.”

“Foul legacy?” Guizhong asked, looking intrigued by this whole conversation. Of course, her knowledge of the abyss was as limited as his own. And she always loved learning new things.

“A transformation I can use. I can use my abyssal power in my human shape, but it’s not as strong as when I change into my abyssal shape.”

Guizhong’s eyes were almost sparkling with wonder and curiosity. He couldn’t help but feel a bit protective, placing his hand on Ajax’ arm and squeezing gently, reassuring him hopefully.  

“But you can still die outside of the abyss, you’re still a mortal?” She asked, leaning a bit onto the counter. Her eyes were shining with curiosity.

Ajax made a non-committal noise. “Depends on what you consider a mortal? I can die outside of the abyss, yes. But adepti and gods can die too, and those don’t count as mortals.”

“Because we have a much longer lifespan. We cannot die except we are killed.” The goddess explained gently. “And even then, some of us are able to survive in a lower form, like I did by returning to being a dust sprite.”

The fatuus regarded her curiously. “Yeah, so if I’m neither a god nor an adeptus, but can’t die except when I’m killed, what do you consider me?”

Zhongli could feel a soft flutter in his stomach. Did- did that mean Ajax could match his lifespan? He wouldn’t die of old age, like a normal human would? He… he would still be there in hundreds and thousands of years, if he was careful enough?

“Wait, wait, wait. You… you won’t die of old age?” He asked softly, barely above a whisper.

He needed confirmation. He just- he needed it. He had to know that he wouldn’t lose Ajax that easily. That he just had to try and get him to be more careful, maybe be around him and keep him safe himself, and he would have him by his side for the indefinite future.

“Pretty hard to do when you’re no longer aging. Basically, my biological clock has stopped when I was fully grown and everything. Once my body was biologically an adult, it was done. “Ajax shrugged.

“Her majesty had Dottore look at me when she noticed something was feeling off about me. He did a few checks over two years, there was no change at all between when I was 20 and 22 years old. It tracks with what my master said, she doesn’t know how long she’s looked like she’s in her early twenties. She warned me about that when I left the abyss, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know.”

Zhongli felt relief wash over him. If their relationship had been a romantic one, he would have pulled Ajax into a tight hug, kissing him tenderly, maybe burying his face in the crook of his neck and just bask in the feeling of knowing he wouldn’t lose him that easily. But alas, they weren’t a couple.

“Then you better be careful, because knowing that, I don’t want to bury you,” he said softly.

Ajax smiled, but it looked more sad than anything else. “I am her majesty’s blade. It can’t be helped.”

“Just be a little bit more careful? Please? A little less reckless?” Zhongli asked with a sigh.

If the choice was his, Ajax would never put himself into danger again. But he understood his commitment to his queen, to being her vanguard and her harbinger. “I’d like to have you around still in a long time, seeing as that is a possibility.”

The corner of the ginger’s mouth twitched a little. “I’ll try. But I can’t make any promises.”

“Thank you,” he replied, gently squeezing his arm again before pulling his hand away.

“Once we’re done eating… Should I… should I leave?” The fatuus asked quietly, almost absentmindedly, concentrating on his food.

“Hm? Why do you ask?” Zhongli blinked. “Do you want to go? I’m sorry I’ve pulled you into this, have I made you uncomfortable?”

“What? No! I just… you two haven’t seen each other in forever. I’m sure you want to catch up with each other, don’t you? I don’t want to keep you from properly enjoying your reunion.”

Guizhong huffed softly. “What, we can’t catch up when you’re here? Are we going to bore you to death with our stories?”

Ajax ducked his head a little. “No, I’m sure they’re interesting… I just thought you might want to do that by yourselves. I don’t want to… intrude.”

“You’re not. I like having you around, Childe. And if Guizhong’s reaction is anything to go by, she enjoys your company just as much. I… was actually hoping you might want to stay over again? I enjoyed the day yesterday tremendously. But of course, if you would rather leave, I understand.” Zhongli said, trying not to be too obvious that he’d feel a bit upset about him leaving.

“The blockhead is right. I got the feeling we get along quite well? And there is nothing about celebrating our reunion that we couldn’t do in your company either. Plus, I am very exhausted from getting back my corporeal form, so I will probably call it a night early after dinner anyways. Food and sleep will help me gather some strength back. Also, this is your chance to hear embarrassing stories about Zhongli in his young and stupid days,” the goddess said with a grin and a wink.

“Are you sure? I’m not going to be a disturbance?” The fatuus asked, sounding a little hopeful.

The former archon couldn’t help but grasp Ajax’ free hand, and carefully squeeze it for a moment, holding onto it. “You won’t. I promise you. I’ve told you, no more lies, didn’t I? So, when I say that I like having you here, I mean it. I enjoy your company. And Guizhong does too, she doesn’t lie to people like that. She despises people who do.”

A slight hint of pink crept up on Childes neck and ears. He looked adorable. “Oh. Then I’ll stay. Overnight too, if it’s really alright. I enjoyed our talk too.”

“Wonderful, I’m delighted,” Zhongli admitted softly.

If Ajax was apparently unsure about being wanted there, then he would do his absolute best to make sure that he understood in no uncertain terms that his presence was wanted. Loved even. He did not want to see such an insecure and worried expression on his face again.

Guizhong looked excited as well. She always loved meeting new people and had always been fascinated by them. The opportunity to get to know someone new even before she would be able to explore the harbour was probably exciting for her. Especially someone as fascinating as Ajax was.

He himself could spend hours just talking to him and learning more about him after all. Well, he was in love with him of course. But he was sure that even without that, she would find him interesting. Ajax was a remarkable person in so many different ways, after all.

And Ajax himself had remarked about not really having any friends, so maybe getting to know someone new, who wouldn’t judge him for his abyss influence, would do him good. Guizhong had seen him at his worst, at his most monstrous. And she still had been kind to him. She would be kind to Ajax, even with his lust for battle and abyss-influence.

With the way his old friend looked at him, Zhongli was sure that the moment Ajax would be going to the Northland Bank tomorrow, she would start bombarding him with questions. He could see and feel her keen eyes on them after all, analysing every little touch.

She had always been awfully observant, being able to read people like the writings on a scroll. Zhongli had no doubt that she already had her suspicions about his feelings for Ajax. Especially since she knew him well enough to know that he was not touchy with people that weren’t very close to his heart. The only person apart from his own parents that had ever been allowed to touch him, had been the dust goddess herself.

“Childe explained visions to me. I noticed you have one too?” Guizhong asked, looking curiously.

Zhongli grimaced. “It’s not real.”

“What do you mean, it’s not real?” She looked at him bewildered.

“It’s a fake one. I got it from Barbatos, the anemo archon, a long time ago. He uses a fake vision himself, so people won’t see him use his anemo powers and wonder how. And he gave me one in case I ever want to walk around like a normal person, but don’t want suspicions raised when using my geo powers. Hence, I wear it like a normal vision holder would.” He explained softly.

Ajax looked at him, blinking. “You know, the way you explain it, it makes complete sense. I know her majesty doesn’t have a vision, why did I never question that you’re wearing one?”

The god chuckled. “Maybe because you thought I’m a normal person at first? So even after you knew that I was the geo archon, you simply didn’t realize that it wouldn’t be a real one?”

“Maybe… It looks so real though!” The ginger said with a huff, putting some pickled cucumber between his lips.

“Well, it should, else it wouldn’t be good.” He hummed, reaching for his tea.

“Wait, so the anemo archon is posing as a mortal too?” Guizhong asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Oh yes. Other than me, he never actually governed his people. Hmm… every archon has their own ideals. Mine were trade and contracts, to keep order to how things are done. Barbatos’ ideal is freedom. He saw the fall of the god of storms, Decarabian, who ruled Mondstadt during the archon war with an iron fist, shrouding the lands in everlasting storm. So, he swore that Mondstadt would be free, and never really acted as their archon.”

She smiled lightly. “You seem to know him well. Are you friends?”

He took a sip of his tea, still feeling warm at the thought of how Ajax had hurried to bring him a cup. “I guess so? Not particularly close friends, but we’ve known each other for a long time. I’m not fond of his habit of drinking too much alcohol, and he can get on my nerves, but… his company can be enjoyable.”

Next to him, the fatuus laughed softly. “Reminds me of that bard that I’ve once met when I was traveling through Mondstadt on my way to Liyue. He wouldn’t take payment, only alcohol. He looked too young to drink, but you know, that wasn’t my problem. I bought him some dandelion wine.”

Zhongli raised an eyebrow. “Did he have two braids? Green-white clothes?”

“Oh, so you know him? He did say something that he was repeatedly voted ‘Best Bard of the Year’,” Ajax mused. “Makes sense you would have heard of him.”

“Congratulations, you helped Barbatos with his alcoholism,” Zhongli said deadpan, trying his best to hold back a chuckle. He couldn’t wait for the ginger’s reaction, hearing he’d met another archon incognito.

For a moment, he only stared back at him blankly. “Wait- What?! THAT was the anemo archon? You’re kidding me!”

“He goes by Venti, at least I think he still does.”

The other groaned. “Ugh. Yep, that was his name…”

Guizhong sat there giggling, trying to stifle it behind her hands. “You- You met an archon without even knowing?!”

“He didn’t know I was an archon either, when we met,” Zhongli pointed out. “He’s like an archon magnet.”

“I don’t have a lot going for me, but yeah, apparently archons find me irresistible. Considering I’ve met three out of seven at this point,” Ajax groaned softly, hiding his face in his hands.

Guizhong took a look at him and burst out in laughter, not able to hold herself back any longer. Zhongli bit his lower lip, trying hard not to laugh at Ajax’ exasperation. But he failed very fast and very miserably, ending up laughing himself. Eventually, he could hear the fatuus laugh as well, face still hidden in his hands.

Chapter Text

Ajax’s stomach hurt.

Not because of the food or anything. Simply because he had rarely laughed so much. After their initial laughing fit during lunch, over his own stupidity of repeatedly meeting archons in disguise, they had finished eating.

After that, they had moved outside to the patio, sitting into the comfortable armchairs and drinking tea together. It was then, that the two old friends started to catch up with each other. Even if he had been feeling insecure about his own place in all of this, he didn’t feel unwanted for a second.

On the contrary, Guizhong seemed to get a kick out of telling him stories about Zhongli in his youth, repeatedly making him laugh. Zhongli seemed to teeter the edge between being amused and embarrassed, but he didn’t make her stop but instead laughed as well.

Currently, she very animatedly told the story of how Zhongli god rid of oceanic parasites that had plagued Guili Plains. She was already giggling. “And they were gross! Little slimy things with lots of tentacles! Like an unholy union between octopi and slugs. And there were thousands of them, they all had come up after a storm hit just around the shore by the Guili Assembly.”

“Really awful creatures. Not bad if it were only a few, but the sheer volume of them… Disgusting,” the adeptus remarked, grimacing.

“And-And because they were so small, and everywhere, he couldn’t just… kill them easily. No stone spears or anything, it simply wouldn’t work. And he couldn’t level the whole assembly, mind you!” She said, shoulders still shaking, trying to stifle her giggling. “So he walked through the entire assembly, visited every single house and put them into little stone prisons. Then sent them flying back into the sea!”

Ajax couldn’t help himself, he started laughing as well. The image of the god walking around everywhere, gathering up these disgusting little creatures to toss them back into the ocean where they came from… it was just too good.

“With the stone around them, I didn’t want them to come back on shore ever again,” Zhongli rubbed his face, probably remembering the frustration they caused very well. “These things are why you will never see me eat whole seafood or prepare it myself. If it’s chopped and already cooked, fine, I can eat it. But don’t come near me with a whole octopus.”

Guizhong failed at holding back her laughter, gasping for air. “He-He still gets nauseous from that! It’s been 4000 years!”

Zhongli huffed. “You weren’t the one who had to pick them all up! I still found dried slime stuck between my scales weeks and several baths later!”

“Next time something like this happens, Childe can scrub your scales for you,” She said with a knowing grin.

Ajax could feel his face heat up. Was he that obvious? Had she already realized that he had feelings for Zhongli? That wasn’t good, wasn’t she upset about this? Or were they really not a couple and she didn’t mind?

Zhongli next to him bristled a little, lightly kicking his foot against hers. “I can scrub my own scales, I may be old but not geriatric. And you’re older than me, for the records.”

Guizhong opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, shaking her head with a fond laugh.

“She is?” Ajax asked curiously. Even older than the former archon with his almost 7000 years?

“Oh yes, I’m old as dust. Literally.” She said with a shrug. “As a dust sprite, I’ve lived hundred thousands of years. But I’ve only had a corporeal form for maybe a thousand? So in that regard, I am younger. Zhongli has a lot more actual life experience than me.”

“I was wondering… How long have you used that name? Considering Guizhong knows you by that as well?” The fatuus couldn’t help but ask, curiosity getting the better of him.

Zhongli hummed, swallowing the sip of tea he took and set down his cup. “I’ve stared using it a while before I met Guizhong. The name Guili is actually made up of Guizhong and Zhongli. But after her death, I stopped using it save for going incognito with it a few short times. Until I eventually started using it again when I decided to live amongst the people in the harbour and got employed. It’s one of the few names that nobody has connected with me so far, since there were no historical records of me with this name in the guili ruins. Common folk called me Morax still.”

Ajax nodded. So it wasn’t a name he had used all the time. He wondered what it would feel like, being close enough to Zhongli to be allowed to call him by his actual name. Murmuring it softly while cuddling against him. Speaking it softly, reverently, almost unbelieving that this man was his…

He suppressed a sigh. As close as they had gotten, especially over the last days, he still couldn’t help wanting to be even closer. Wanting to be more than just a friend. But he would always be Ajax. The cryo archons eleventh harbinger, her vanguard, her abyss-tinted blade. This allowed him to support his family.

His family. They would love Liyue too, wouldn’t they? His younger siblings in any case. Probably even his older ones, maybe even father and mother. With how often Zhongli made him think about just quitting his job and moving to Liyue, he would want to take them with him if possible. But he knew he couldn’t quit. Working for the tsaritsa, you couldn’t just quit.

“Oh, oh, oh! The one time that Marchosias lit a huge fire to grill a whole pig and your robe caught fire!” Guizhong giggled, ripping Ajax out of his thoughts.

Zhongli groaned softly, shaking his head. “The day he almost experienced the wrath of the rock.”

The goddess almost choked on her tea, coughing softly. “THAT was what I was thinking, you looked so close to completely combusting with anger. Wasn’t it one of your favourites too?”

“Yes, one made with golden trims and a very specific orange dye, made from an extinct flower found only in Sal Terrae. A gift of Havria, the goddess of salt.” He replied with a sigh. “Such an exquisite robe, gifted as a thanks for helping her during an attack on her people.”

“She was nice.” Guizhong said softly. “Too nice, I take it she didn’t make it much longer than I did?”

Zhongli nodded solemnly. “Mhm… Sadly, as the war went on, I could no longer help them. She died around the same time you did. Some of her people joined the guili people on our way to where Liyue Harbour would be founded.”

The dust goddess sighed quietly, reaching for her teacup on the low table and warming her hands on it for a bit. Her pale blue eyes closed for a moment, enjoying the warmth. “May they never be forgotten by those of us who live on.”

Again, Zhongli nodded lightly. “Hey, remember the time Ping got into your dressing table and ended up with her whole face caked in cosmetics?” He asked with a chuckle.

“Ah yes, that girl. So obsessed with anything used for beauty. Used up almost all of my supplies, all of them handmade.”

“She was a vain beauty in her younger years, anytime I see her now I still wonder how she’s the same person. She spends her days looking like an old lady. She’s going to be happy to see you.” The god picked up his cup again, taking a sip.

“Unbelievable, as an old lady?” Guizhong looked surprised.

“Wait, Ping? Madame Ping on Yujing Terrace?” Ajax asked carefully. He talked to her quite frequently, she was friendly with him even if she was open about her dislike of the Fatui. He could respect that, considering he often didn’t agree with the methods of his fellow harbingers.

“Yes. We’ve known each other since the time of the Guili Assembly. But she was still a teenager then. Obsessed with appearances. She ended up marrying a mortal and had a half-adepti son, who in turn married a mortal woman a few years ago. Yanfei is their daughter, so her granddaughter.” Zhongli explained, leaning back in his chair.

Ajax nodded in understanding. “I knew about Yanfei being part adepti, but I didn’t know about Madame Ping being one, and her being her grandmother.” She had never mentioned a granddaughter after all. But then again, most of the time they only made small talk.

“Aww, how lovely,” Guizhong cooed softly. “She got to have a family. Ah, I’m jealous. Aren’t you, Zhongli?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m jealous. For some of us, it’s simply not in the cards. That’s life, I guess.” He said with an unreadable expression.

Ajax wondered if Zhongli would have liked to have children with his one. Did they try and not succeed? Or did they have children and they ended up dying young?

“Oh come on, I know you like children. You were always so nice to the ones in Guili.”

Zhongli huffed. “Of course, I didn’t say that I dislike them. I’m just saying that I’m not jealous, I’m happy for her. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I certainly am not.”

“Why wouldn’t you be? Can you imagine, little kids running around telling other kids that if they’re mean to them, the lord of geo will strike them down?” She asked, grinning lightly. “You’d be the best father ever in their eyes.”

“You know what I was like when we met. That should be answer enough.” The brunette said simply, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

The goddess raised her eyebrows, leaning forwards in her chair, with her elbows propped up on her knees. “What, you think you’re permanently unfit to be a parent because you went on a killing spree when you were young? That’s ridiculous. Who, if not you, could teach them that making mistakes is part of life?”

“Making mistakes is one thing. Forgetting the value of life and aimlessly killing is something completely different. A completely different magnitude. And I do not intend to put children in this world and then lie to them for the rest of their lives, pretending that I’m a good person. When actually, I am not.” He pressed out, Zhongli’s tone clearly indicating that he no longer wanted to talk about this.

Ajax almost forgot to breathe, feeling the tension in the air. He wanted to calm Zhongli down, because it was clear that the topic worked him up, but at the same time he was worried about causing the tension to discharge.

So he just sat there, trying to be quiet, making himself small on his armchair. He didn’t want to disturb them, or possibly upset Zhongli with something he said or did. For a moment he considered putting his hand on his thigh or on his crossed arms, but he wasn’t sure if that wouldn’t make things worse.

The god looked so tense, his jaw clenched and the one hand that Ajax could see, was digging his fingers into his biceps. His eyes were flickering between the lighter and darker shade, making it obvious that he was trying to stay in control.

“You’re not a bad person,” Guizhong said softly, with a sad expression on her face.  

Zhongli let out a deep breath, his fingers digging into his biceps more. “I have killed or sealed almost every god in Liyue. I had to do the same with friends. I had to seal Azdaha under Nantianmen so he wouldn’t kill the people when his mind started to suffer from erosion. I  summoned more than two hundred yakshas to deal with the miasmas born of the dead and sealed gods, and all of them save for Alatus succumbed to their karmic debt and killed each other or themselves.

I have enough blood on my hands to replace the water in the ocean. I am not a good person, and this is the last I will say about this.” He said firmly, making it absolutely clear that this conversation was over.

Guizhong looked at him for a moment, about to say something. But then she stretched her arms a little. “I’ll go and take a nap if it’s alright. I’m starting to feel drowsy.”

“Of course. Help yourself to one of the guest bedrooms down the hall, none of them are occupied,” Zhongli said quietly. “I’ll just come and wake you up for dinner, if you’re not awake by then.”

The goddess nodded and got up, stretching her legs. “Thank you so much.” She walked past Zhongli, lightly squeezing his shoulder, gave a small smile to Ajax and headed inside.

After a moment, Zhongli closed his eyes, let out a deep breath he had been holding and very softly, almost inaudibly mumbled “I apologize, Ajax.”

Ajax could feel himself relax a little, the tension slowly dissipating. “What for?”

“For this whole… I’m sorry you had to witness that. I shouldn’t have gotten so worked up.” The brunettes hand still clasped his arm tightly, which looked quite painful with how deep the fingers seemed to dig into the muscle.

Very carefully and slowly, Ajax put his hand onto the gods’, gently prying the fingers off his arm. “Don’t be. It’s… a sore spot, isn’t it? That’s why you got upset.”

The adeptus looked up at him, sighing softly. “It is. I guess… with my past, I feel undeserving of things sometimes. Of people being kind to me. Or in this case, of ever having a family again, one of my own. For a long time I felt it would be best if I just stayed away from everyone.”

“I understand. I know that feeling very well. Remember a few days ago, when we talked about marriage? How I said I don’t think it’s ever in my future. It’s the same reasoning. We both see ourselves as too far gone, right?” The fatuus asked gently, carefully massaging Zhongli’s fingers, working out the tension.

Zhongli moved his arms, uncrossing them, but without pulling his hand away from Ajax. “Yes… Ajax, I- I have done unspeakable things in my life. I am not proud of any of this. But there was a time, where I was. Where I lived for battle and bloodshed. Where a life was worth nothing and I’d take it at the smallest inconvenience.”

Ajax squeezed his hand a little, then slowly moved to take off his glove, looking up at the adeptus to look for any signs of disapproval. When he didn’t see anything, he carefully removed the glove and set it down onto the low table. “If it’s any consolation, I know that feeling as well.”

“You do?” the brunette asked quietly, golden eyes not leaving the redhead in front of him.

“Of course. I’ve killed abyss creatures all day every day for three months. You think you come back normal from that? My first week in the fatui, I almost killed three other recruits because they made fun of me for being the shortest and youngest. I didn’t know how to react normally so I picked a fight with them because I knew chances were good I’d win. Never heard those three guys call me an overgrown toddler again after that.” Ajax admitted, gently brushing over the back of Zhongli’s hand.

The fatuus looked at the god, holding his gaze for a moment. “You know… I don’t think either of us really actually enjoys the bloodshed. We’ve just become… desensitized to it. What is a life, if you can take it within seconds? What is a life, if you can make anyone who inconveniences you pay the ultimate price for it?”

“It is… a kind of power-trip, I suppose,” the other said. “In a time where you were scared and felt weak, proving yourself the opposite like that. How can you be scared for your own life when you prove to yourself everyday that you’re more powerful than everyone else? Because if you weren’t, how could you kill them so easily?”

Ajax nodded, taking the larger hand between his own and holding it carefully. “Exactly. But I think… as hard as it is… that it doesn’t have to define you for all eternity. For what it’s worth, and it might not be worth much, considering there is a lot that I don’t know about you but… I think you saved more lives than you took. Look at Liyue, look at it’s people. All of them that are here today, alive and well, in a land so prosperous that even the poor have a good life… they are here thanks to you. Because you protected them for generations.”

Zhongli looked at him with surprise, eyes wide and bright. The fatuus could feel his heartbeat quicken at the intensity of his gaze, at their closeness. He’d just have to lean a little bit forward- no. This wasn’t important now. No matter how much he yearned for him, but that wouldn’t bring the god comfort.

“Liyue has such a good quality of life for all it’s people. And your people love you. Not out of fear, out of respect and because they always knew that you would be there to guide you and lead them into a better future. They know that you shed blood in order to become an archon and in order to protect them. They don’t care. For them, you are their benevolent guardian, protecting them since the days of old.”

Carefully, Ajax removed the glove on the other hand, now gently working the tension there. “And above all, you know better now. You understand that it was a wrong view. You cannot change the past, but you can strive to do better in the future. And that’s what you’ve been doing, and I think that counts for a lot. I know how difficult it is, forgiving yourself seems impossible. But maybe one day, you’ll be able to, and free yourself from the guilt. Maybe I will too, one day. Probably not anytime soon, but I said I’d be careful and try to live a long life.”

The adeptus moved his hands, and for a moment Ajax thought he’d want him to let go. But instead, the brunettes hands clasped his, holding his smaller hands between his larger ones. Slowly, Zhongli leaned forward, leaning his forehead against their combined hands.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

Heat was rising on the gingers cheeks, feeling the others warm breath on his hands. For a moment, Zhongli just leaned against their hands like this, taking deep breaths. Ajax could see how he slowly became less tense, his shoulders relaxing, his jaw unclenching.

“I… I have carried so many negative feelings with me for such a long time. And there isn’t anyone who understands. I… I was worried what you would think of me if you knew. But I see now, that you don’t think worse of me, because you understand.” Zhongli said, his voice heavy with emotion. He grasped Ajax’ hands a little bit tighter, holding onto him almost like a lifeline.

Chapter Text

“I’ve told you before that my views on my birth name are complex. This is what I meant with it. All of this shame and guilt, I associate it with Morax. When I look into a mirror, I don’t see myself the way I look. I see myself as my worst. With fangs bared in a snarl and hands covered in someone else’s blood.” Zhongli admitted quietly, trembling a little.

He had never admitted this much, had never bared this much of himself to someone. But telling Ajax felt right. Even if he was scared what the other might think of him. He started to understand, that the fatuus wouldn’t think worse of him. On the contrary, he understood how he felt.

They both were damaged by their past, weren’t they? Both in similar ways. So maybe, just maybe, they could help each other heal. Having someone to talk to who intimately understood the realities of losing the ability to value life and who knew what it was like to fight for your life… It would benefit them both, wouldn’t it? Being able to express their thoughts without worrying for harsh judgement.

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? We always see ourselves at our worst. I… I didn’t like being called Ajax by people anymore, after the abyss. Because for a long time I felt that Ajax died there in the abyss. That the me, who came back, was no longer him. That this was just the human shell left, but inside was someone – something – else. And I just had to pretend for my younger siblings that their big brother Ajax is still here.” Ajax said softly, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Not that he needed to be any louder, with how close they were. Zhongli still leaned against their clasped hands, basking in the comfort of the physical contact. His hands had changed to their original form, but he paid it no mind.

He liked Ajax’ hands very much. They were a little smaller than his own, always so warm even through the leather gloves. And even though they were strong, able to wield his weapons no matter how heavy they were, their touch was always gentle and light as a feather.

“For so long, I have only seen myself as an abyss monster and not a person or human anymore. I’ve waltzed through the lands, pretending to be human to get my way and fulfil my role as her majesty’s vanguard, her loyal abyss-stained blade. And then I get to Liyue and meet you. And suddenly, thanks to you, I’m starting to feel like I’m not just a monster. Like ‘Ajax’ maybe isn’t completely gone.”

The adeptus can feel his heart clench a little in his chest. How many stars had to align for them two to meet? For them both to finally find someone who understands them? To find someone they can be honest with about things, that they can’t mention in front of other people?

He wanted to keep the redhead by his side for all eternity, the dragon inside him roared possessively. Nobody would ever come close to who and how Ajax was. He waited almost 7000 years for someone to love, and even if they never were meant to become lovers, every minute waiting for him had been worth it.

“You certainly aren’t a monster,” he replied carefully. “Maybe… Maybe ‘Morax’ isn’t either, not completely.”

“There isn’t just black and white, Zhongli. There is grey as well. We can acknowledge our mistakes and our bloody pasts, but it doesn’t mean we are completely bad people. I’m not a good person either. I have plenty blood on my hands. Why do you think I keep my job hidden from my younger siblings? I don’t want them to see the stains, not when they’re still so small.” Ajax said, and Zhongli could feel their knees lightly bump against each other with how close they were sitting.  

Ajax took a deep breath and Zhongli moved to look at him. His beautiful blue eyes looked gentle and soft. He almost felt like they were a little brighter than they had been a few days ago, a little more lively. In the broad daylight, out on the patio like this, the trail of freckles over his cheeks and nose stood out. He wanted to trail kisses along them, down to the side of his jaw, until he would reach the little beauty mark behind his ear that he had spotted earlier when Ajax had turned his head just right.  

“But… But I also care deeply for my family, this job enables me to provide for them. If I were a bad person, I wouldn’t care about my family, right? I wouldn’t provide, I wouldn’t write letters, I wouldn’t keep sending my siblings souvenirs. I wouldn’t spoil them and spend as much time as possible with them when I’m back.” The fatuus said, looking at him.

“You certainly aren’t a bad person. You are so caring, so passionate about so many things, curious and knowledgeable. And whenever you speak of your siblings, there is no shred of doubt how much you love them,” The adeptus assured.

There was a slight smile on Ajax’ lips, breathing a quiet “thank you.”

“The same goes for you. You aren’t a bad person. Whenever you talk about Liyue, you talk like a proud father does about his child. And that they’ve come so far is because you helped them. And here you are, millennia later, still preserving ancient knowledge and tradition, so it won’t be lost to time. And you are so kind, helping everyone you can. You always say that you don’t think you’ve inherited much from your qilin side, but I don’t believe that. I think rather, your view is a bit skewed because of your past. And Guizhong would probably agree, seeing as she’s known you at a younger age than I got to know you.”

The fatuus slowly moved their hands, Zhongli already started feeling regret that he was about to pull away. But Ajax just switched their hands around, placing his smaller ones around the gods. He lightly squeezed them, ever gently, as if they were something fragile. Ajax had never shied away from these hands. No matter how much blood was on them or how odd they must look for a normal person. On the contrary, it felt like he was searching for touch just as much as Zhongli did.

Maybe he too felt comforted by their new physical closeness. He seemed to be as touch-starved as Zhongli himself, so maybe he was basking in the warmth and the skin to skin contact as well. The adeptus sure did, taking in every tiny touch with delight.

“Maybe you are right. I should apologize to her later, shouldn’t I?” He asked quietly, feeling himself gradually calm down.

Ajax’s mouth twitched into a lopsided smile. “I’m sure she would appreciate it. Though I don’t think she’s going to expect one. It seemed more that she was worried about you, if anything. Maybe upset that you see yourself that badly.”

“I guess… She… she isn’t used to me voicing such things. When we knew each other, I was still very much stoic and would usually refuse to speak about the things bothering me. And… well, for millennia I never really had anyone to talk to, even if I wanted to. Alatus and Ganyu are almost like adopted children for me, but I am not going to talk about such things with them.”

They were looking up to him after all. Much like Ajax didn’t want to upset his younger siblings, he didn’t want to do the same with the both adepti. Especially Alatus, who suffered so much with losing the other yakshas. Especially the four other guardian yakshas, that had treated him like a sibling after he had been alone for so long. The guilt of them dying was still heavy on Zhongli’s mind. Part of why he was trying to look out for him, even if the young adeptus was stubborn.

“I’m always here to talk about anything you want or need. If- I mean… you know. When you don’t want to discuss things with Guizhong instead. Of course you don’t have to, it’s fine if you prefer talking to her instead. She’s a god too, after all, so she probably has better advice than I do,” Ajax said, looking a bit sheepish and chewing his lower lip.

Zhongli tried to not let the other biting on his plush lip distract him from what he said. “Ajax.”

The fatuus looked up at him, looking a bit worried. It reminded him a lot of how he had looked during lunch, when he asked if he should leave. He was worried about Guizhong taking his place, wasn’t he? As if he would do such a thing, Guizhong would never be able to replace him. His first and only love. Well, he didn’t need to know that detail.

“Are you scared that Guizhong being alive is going to change things between us?” He asked carefully. If that was really the case, he wanted the other to understand, that his worried were unfounded.

Ajax flushed a little, maybe he felt embarrassed about being found out. “I-I mean it’s alright if it does. She’s your old friend and she’s very important to you, obviously. So I don’t expect you to want me around as much as before. And you know, she’s known you for longer than I do. It’s not my first time being promoted to the position of best friend and then getting demoted again shortly after, so don’t worry, I don’t take it personally!,” he said, laughing a little at the end, not looking into his eyes.

But Zhongli knew him well enough at this point, that this was Childe speaking instead of Ajax. Deflecting from his true feelings. Not lying outright, but omitting that he was indeed feeling hurt. Slowly, carefully he removed his hands from the gingers, before the other could pull them away, he caught them with his left hand and kept hold of them.

His right hand moved to Ajax’ jaw, cradling it carefully and lifting his chin a little, to force him to look into his eyes. Ajax’ breath hitched in surprise, he could feel the movement of him swallowing against his fingers.

“Ajax. You don’t need to worry about anything of the like. Yes, Guizhong is alive and I am happy about it. Because her death too, was one of the things I felt guilty about. ‘If only I had been there a minute faster, I might have been able to protect her’; ‘If you can not even protect your friends, what are you still doing alive?’. Trust me, that she is alive will change nothing between us. I enjoy spending time with you very much. You aren’t being demoted, that is nonsense, her being alive doesn’t eradicate our closeness and our connection,” he said softly, looking at the fatuus intently.

The ginger looked at him with wide eyes. Ah, he could drown in the beautiful blue colour. “I would hate for things to change, I very much like how things have become between us. I enjoy that I can speak freely with you, more than ever, without worrying. And I am thankful to have you as my precious best friend. You’re good for me. Like a balm soothing my wounded soul, a remedy for the bone-deep ache of this long life full of loss and violence and cruelty.”

“Oh,” Ajax let out softly like a breath.

Zhongli smiled at him as warmly as he could, trying to convey just how fond he was of him without revealing the true depth of his feelings. His thumb resting on Ajax’ cheek brushed gently over the soft skin, mindful of his long nails.

“Guizhong is a little like a sister for me. Hence why an argument like the one you witnessed earlier is not that rare of an occurrence. She is too observant for her own good sometimes, and at times doesn’t know when she needs to stop pressing people’s buttons. But she doesn’t do it out of malice. She is old and very intelligent, but in some regards she is young and inexperienced.”

Ajax gave him one of the small, lopsided smiles that he liked so much. “Everyone has their blind spots, I guess. I-I’m glad. Thank you. I was a little bit scared that… that I could lose our friendship.”

“Never. What we have is too precious for me, I do not wish to ever lose it.” Zhongli reassured gently.

“Whew, guess I can be friends with her after all,” Ajax laughed softly. “I… I would have liked to anyways, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit guarded in case you two would rather not have me around.”

“I always want you around. Everything is much more enjoyable in your company. Never forget that.”  When the adeptus pulled his hand away and leaned back in his chair, Ajax was looking slightly flushed. Was he maybe feeling embarrassed from his earlier confessions?

“I-I’ll try. Thank you for reassuring me.” He said with a small smile, brushing some strands of his auburn hair out of his face.

Zhongli smiled, reaching for his teacup and emptied it with one last sip. “Anytime. You reassured me as well, after all. Thanks to you, I’m feeling a little bit better about myself.”

“That’s good. You’re too harsh on yourself. But I understand, I guess I do the same. It’s only really since you saw my foul legacy that I’m starting to think a little differently. But it’s still…” The ginger fiddled with his gloves, watching the god put his cup back onto the table.

Zhongli reached over, placing his hand on the other’s knee. “It’s a process. A slow one. But maybe it will easier when we try it together. We aren’t alone anymore after all, we have each other for support. And we both understand how it feels.”

The fatuus nodded, sighing softly. “Right.”

“We should probably head inside and start with dinner soon, what do you say?” Zhongli asked. The sky around them was slowly starting to turn darker.

“Sure. You promised to show me how to make liyuen dishes, would this be a good time?”

The god felt warm at the request. He loved it when Ajax enjoyed liyuen things and wanted to learn them. “Of course. How about we start with something simple, like lotus seed and bird egg soup? I have another recipe I would like to teach you, but it’s a little late for that. We would have to reserve a morning or an afternoon to cook it.”

“Sounds good, it’s something I like to eat after all. Wow, that sounds like an elaborate dish. What is it?” Ajax asked curiously, placing the cups and teapot on the small tray and picking it all up. Together they started walking towards the kitchen.

“Adeptus’ temptation. It is a soup that used to be an offering to the adepti in the old days. Then, for a long time it was forgotten about. One day a monster attacked a human settlement close to Jueyun Karst. An old woman still remembered learning the recipe from her mother in their childhood days and quickly scribbled it down.” The god explained while taking out the ingredients needed for the lotus seed and bird egg soup.

“The women of the village all brought forth whatever they had of the ingredients, and together they cooked a big pot full of it over an open fire in the centre of the village. The smell alone was good enough to attract several adepti, that came to help defeat the monster and keep the village safe. Then, they received the soup as offering to thank them for their protection.”

“Must have been very delicious soup if it could get the adepti to help them,” Ajax grinned, preparing a new pot of tea in the meantime.

“Oh it is, it’s made with various ingredients from both the sea and the land, cooked for hours until the soup broth becomes intense with flavour. I know how to make it but, well, due to my aversion to preparing seafood I never made it alone. And… there’s not really a point to make it for only one person, it’s simply too much work for that.” Zhongli replied with a light shrug.

He hummed and took off his coat, placing it over the back of one of the chairs. Then he rolled back the sleeves of his shirt and removed his tie as well, preferring not to risk it getting loose and hanging into the food.

Next to him, Ajax did the same. Removing his jacket and scarf, then rolling up the sleeves of his maroon shirt. The adeptus couldn’t help but let his gaze wander over the leather straps over his chest and shoulders. “I cannot help but wonder, do those straps serve a purpose or are they purely fashionable?” he asked before he could stop himself.

The fatuus turned a little pink on his cheeks, which Zhongli found way too cute. “Ah, both I guess. I… there’s an old injury on my back. Between the shoulder blades, right by my spine. When it was fresh, I had some trouble keeping my back straight, it hurt a lot. So for a while I walked around slumping forward.” He explained while taking off his gloves.

He placed it all on the chair next to the one Zhongli had used. “So once the worst was over, my posture was really bad, which affected my fighting ability as well. Pulcinella brought me these, they basically pull my body backwards a bit, so I keep a proper position. It’s been a few years and my posture is back to being normal, but I still wear them because I don’t want it to go back to how it was.”  

“Ah, that makes sense. Does it still hurt?”

Ajax grimaced a little. “Many old injuries never heal completely. Or they do, but the pain acts up again at times. So yeah, some days it still hurts and feels tense. Some days I don’t feel that, but then the rift hound injury makes my collarbone and shoulder hurt. Most days, there’s some old injury that hurts, but most of the time I can ignore it. It’s gotten better since I came to Liyue, I think the warmth here helps. The cold always seemed to kind of… aggravate it.”

“So you suffer from chronic pains,” Zhongli said softly.

“Well it’s not all the time, as I said. But a good chunk of the time. Most things aren’t that bad though, there’s really only a handful of injuries that still bother me. Like today, it’s the rift hound injury and the one next to my spine, and those two are … really annoying. But you know, I learnt to live with it. I might have a long life ahead of me, so I can’t let that get me down.” The fatuus said with a shrug, walking up to the counter.

Zhongli hummed, starting to crack the eggs into a large bowl. “I might be able to help you, if you would agree to let me try. I can’t heal old injuries or anything the like, but herbal oils can help. And there are mixtures of oil that might help when massaged into your hurting spots. They might be able to relieve some of your pain.”

“You think so?” Ajax asked softly.

“If you want, I can apply some of the oils on you after dinner. Then we can sit and relax, and you can see how you’ll feel with them. If it helps, then I can get you a supply. It will be a bit of a trial and error process though. Different types of aches and injuries have different oils that help. So we can try different ones as we go, you can tell me when you are in pain and then we try.” Ajax helped soothe the mental pain of his long life, maybe he could help him soothe the other’s physical pain.

Ajax smiled, and it made him feel warm. “That’s fine. If it even helps a little bit, it will already bring relief. I mean I could deal so far but… Some days are harder than others, I have to admit.”

Chapter Text

Zhongli carefully showed Ajax how to remove the seeds from one of the fresh lotus heads and how to properly prepare them. Then, he let him mimic what he’d done with the rest of them. He had him whisk the eggs, then showed him how to strain them through a very fine sieve.

“You can use them without sieving of course, but it gives you an even smoother texture.” He explained, watching the fatuus closely.

“You know what, it being called soup makes no sense. Why is it called soup when it’s steamed egg?” Ajax asked, laughing light-heartedly while pushing the egg through the sieve with a spoon.

“I don’t know completely for certain but I heard once that it’s because of the whisked egg. That they basically consider this the soup, and then they steam it. But I have no idea if that’s the actual reason, truth be told,” the god admitted with a chuckle.

“Now you can add the herbs and spices, then either mix the green onions and the lotus seeds in, or you can steam the egg as is and then add them on top. That comes down to personal preference,” he said, getting closer to Ajax to watch him better.

Very lightly, he put his hand onto the others back, just a little above his waist. He didn’t want to startle him after all, like this he’d be aware of his presence even when he was focused on making the food.

“This is actually much easier than it looks like.” Ajax carefully poured the mixture into another bowl and then put it in to steam.

“It is. And once you know how to do it, you can tweak it however you want to. Add vegetables. Or sometimes, I put some thinly sliced ham inside.” Zhongli said, still closely watching the ginger. In a different life, he would wrap his arms around the others slim waist and would lean into him, resting his chin on his shoulder. Maybe press some lingering kisses onto his shoulder or the side of his neck. But unfortunately, things weren’t like that.

“Hmm, I’ll have to try that, that sounds nice. Or maybe some thinly sliced octopus…” The fatuus mused, humming softly.

He sighed softly and pulled his hand away. “I will go and wake Guizhong, are you fine keeping an eye on it?”

“Of course. It’ll take a while, right? So you have enough time to apologise to her, well, if you want to of course.” Ajax said with a smile, giving him a wink and a thumb up.  

“I will. Thank you.”

He made his way to the guest rooms, finding the first few unoccupied. He gently knocked at the last one, receiving no reply. So he opened the door carefully, to find the goddess asleep on the bed. He walked over and carefully touched her shoulder. “Guizhong? Dinner will be ready in a little bit.”

She made a soft noise and blearily opened her eyes. “Ah,” she muttered and slowly sat up, stretching a little. “Already?”

“Mhm. And… I… Uhm. Do you have a moment for me?” Zhongli asked slowly. He wasn’t used to things like this. But it was only right to apologise. Back in the old days, whatever argument they had usually just dissipated and then wasn’t acknowledged again. But he wasn’t that person anymore. He would acknowledge his mistakes and apologise for them.

“Of course, what’s the matter?” Guizhong moved to sit cross-legged, patting the spot in front of her legs to get him to sit down.

Zhongli smiled and sat down, turning his body towards her. “I want to apologise for my earlier behaviour. I… I got upset, because the topics of partnership and family are sore spots for me. And I-I don’t see myself in a good light, even if I try not to let others see. So you were… not to fault you, it wasn’t really, I know you meant well… but you were pretty much pressing all sensitive buttons at once, and that’s why I got mad.” He explained carefully, hoping that she would understand his reasoning.

Guizhong blinked at him for a moment. “It’s- It’s okay. I apologise as well, I shouldn’t have kept going when I noticed you were starting to get so worked up.”

“Thank you. I will try to do better in the future. Childe and I, we are both trying to… work on how we see ourselves and our pasts.” He said with a soft sigh, crossing his legs over each other.

“You love him, don’t you? He’s your one.” The woman asked with a giddy grin on her lips.

Zhongli was not fully prepared for this and he could feel the heat rapidly shoot into his face.

“Oh you’re blushing! You’re red like a tomato!” She almost squealed in delight at the sight, clapping her hands. Whatever had remained of sleepiness just moments before was immediately gone, she was wide awake and alert, ready to get any possible information out of him. “Oh how adorable is that! Are you a couple?”

“What, no! And don’t you dare say anything to Childe, Guizhong! You must swear not to say anything, he can’t know,” the brunette urged her hurriedly.

She could keep secrets just fine if asked to, but she also lived for gossip. So you needed to make sure she understood not to say a word about something, and she wouldn’t. But if you didn’t, the whole guili assembly would know before sunset.

The goddess pouted at him, huffing softly. “Why not? You think he’d turn you down?”

“Swear. Nothing I tell you about my romantic feelings towards him will leave your lips,” Zhongli demanded, giving her a look that told her that there would be no other word uttered before she didn’t swear.

“Ugh, I swear, nothing about your romantic feelings towards him will leave my lips until you’ve confessed yourself. Afterwards there’s no point,” she groaned, waving her hands with annoyance.

The god quickly shook his head. He couldn’t. Not ever, as much as he wanted to at times. As much as he sometimes felt like there was something between them, something more, a spark of something special. It was just… wishful thinking. His own yearning playing tricks on him, making him see things that weren’t there and making him interpret things as even more meaningful than they were.

“I won’t. Things are complicated, more complicated than you understand now. If I would confess, it would ruin our friendship. And I don’t want that. We are so similar in so many ways, and being with him feels like I can breathe easier. I cannot lose this, no matter what.”

“How long have you been in love with him?” Guizhong looked at him curiously. Her light blue eyes had always been so, so observant. She had sometimes been able to read him at times where he had schooled himself into having a face of stone, when nobody could ever guess what he felt or thought.

“It started the moment I met him. And well, only gotten worse since then. Especially bad in the last few days because we’ve started getting closer, understanding each other better. Every minute I spend with him, I fall in love with him more,” the adeptus said softly. Every moment spent with Ajax felt important and beautiful.

His old friend cooed softly. “Oh this is so cute. I never thought I’d get to experience you when you finally meet your one. But I guess I might live to see the old dragon get his happy end.”

“Guizhong, no. This isn’t… Just because I have feelings for him, doesn’t mean he has feelings for me. And he’s the cryo archons vanguard, he’s her loyal soldier. Even in the very unlikely event that he’d reciprocate my feelings, that would tremendously complicate things. So even if he would, he might not want to pursue a relationship.” Zhongli didn’t expect Ajax to reciprocate. It was fine that he didn’t. Of course it hurt, but he wasn’t mad or upset at Ajax. People didn’t chose who they fell in love with.  

She sighed softly. “What do you like about him? What made you fall in love?” The dust goddess asked, still curious about the details.

“Well I mean at first… He’s extraordinarily pretty. When I was told there’d be one of the cryo archons harbingers arriving, I didn’t expect someone that attractive,” he admitted.

He could still remember vividly how blown away he felt when those blue eyes made direct eye contact with him for the first time. How the windswept auburn hair shined like copper in the sun. And how the other’s boyish smile made his heart beat faster. Then, the pleasant voice, introducing himself, stumbling over the consultants foreign name. Another boyish grin and a sincere apology.

“And the more time we spent with each other, the more I got to know him, it just got worse. He is a very skilled fighter, we sparred against each other yesterday and he held himself against me really well. He is curious, he likes to learn new things and is interested in culture and theatre, and enjoys reading. He is very passionate about everything he does, he always tries his best and works so hard. And he is kind, even if he tries to hide it due to his job. Loves his family fiercely, even if they haven’t always done right by him.

And he can be so gentle. He-He saw my hands and touched them and traced the geo lines on them, and he was so careful. And… And he understands. The things nobody else seems to be able to understand. I can talk to him about them and he just… he gets it.”

Guizhong blinked at him a little, then laughed fondly. “Oh my, you are completely smitten.”

“I am, there’s no point in denying it. He’s good for me, and his presence brings me joy. Even when he isn’t my partner.” He admitted quietly. “He… he makes me feel loved even without loving me. And I’m satisfied being his friend. Of course I yearn. But I get to spend time with him. Touch him. We… we slept in my bed together last night, and I uhm, cuddled up to him. Subconsciously, during the night. It wasn’t a problem for him, he said it’s fine, he understands why I’d like his body heat and that it’s okay for me to do.”

The goddess stared at him, raising her eyebrows. “And you seriously think he isn’t crushing on you, even after all that?”

“Maybe he just enjoys being close to someone. He’s had a hard life, he isn’t used to gentle touches, just like me. And I can’t confess. It’s… it’d be too much pressure on him. I’m a god, a former archon. I… I don’t want him to feel like he can’t say no. And that’s exactly what would happen, if I confessed. I don’t want him to end up feeling so pressured that he ends up just going along with it. Pretending to love me. I couldn’t live with myself and that knowledge.”

He didn’t want Ajax to pity him, pretending to love him when he didn’t. Damned to be miserable for the rest of his days, with a man he didn’t love, just because a greedy dragon fell in love with him and he didn’t want to cause an international incident.

Zhongli wanted to hold him and kiss him, and know that it was actual, real love. Not pretence out of fear. And he wanted Ajax to be happy, above all. Even if that meant for Zhongli, that he would never get to experience what it was like to be in a relationship.  

And even if that meant to one day see Ajax in love with someone else. Maybe having a family for himself. The thought tugged at his heart, but he couldn’t be selfish. When the time came and he still was allowed to be in his life, he would be happy for him and try and be a support however he could.

Even if that meant watching little redheaded children, so their parents could get a break. He knew it would hurt, knowing that they weren’t his and Ajax’, but he would always do his best for him. Would always try giving him everything he could so he would be happy.

“Ugh, this is a mess,” Guizhong groaned and rubbed her face. “But I can’t force you, and I’ve sworn myself to secrecy.”

“May you evade the wrath of the rock,” Zhongli said, nodding solemnly.

The short woman gave him a pointed look. “I hate you for making me swear. If you didn’t, I’d already be in the kitchen announcing your eternal love for him. Then I’d lock you two in so you can sort out this mess.”

“That’s why I made you,” he said simply. “We should go, dinner should be ready by now. I told him I’d apologise to you, so just act like we’ve talked it out a little bit.”

The goddess sighed deeply. “Understood. And just for the record, we are not done with this conversation. You bet the second he’s out the door going to his job tomorrow, I’ll be back on squeezing you for more details. Like a lemon.” She grinned. “Until the last drop~” she added in a sing-song.

Zhongli groaned and rubbed his right temple. “Fine.”

“Oh come on, it’ll do you good. Getting to gush about him some more, get it out of your system! Not just keep it all inside, share your joy and lovey-doveyness with me,” the goddess said with a joyful laugh, skipping towards the door. “Now come on, I’m starving!”

When they got to the kitchen, Ajax was eyeing the steamed egg critically. He moved his hand, beckoning Zhongli over. “Can you take a look at this, is it fine?”

The adeptus walked over, standing next to him to look at the bowl. He could feel Ajax putting a hand on his shoulder, looking over it curiously.

“Please tell me I didn’t ruin it.” He whined, his warm breath fanning over Zhongli’s skin pleasantly.

“Why would it be, it looks excellent.” The god assured gently.

The ginger chuckled softly. “Egg-cellent?”

“Oh by Celestia’s grace,” Zhongli huffed, nudging his side with his elbow without malice.

He could hear Guizhong giggle, opening and closing a few cupboards. “Where are the bowls?”

“Over there,” Zhongli gestured towards one of the cupboards with his right hand, not wanting to move his left where Ajax’s hand still rested on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she hummed, starting to set the table for them. “I’ll put your things over there, don’t mind me,” she said, moving their clothing from the chairs over to one of the empty side tables.

Ajax’s right hand still lingered, his body pressed against half of Zhongli’s. His whole body was radiating a pleasant warmth. And he always smelled so nice, though the scent wasn’t as strong as usually, just a hint of it left… Perhaps a perfume then, considering he hadn’t been home since yesterday morning?

Some people could put on an awful lot of it, which the god didn’t like. In this mortal form, his senses still were a little sharper than a normal human’s after all. In his true form, they were a lot better even. But Ajax’s scent had never bothered him, so if it was perfume, he did use only a small amount of it.

So far, he hadn’t figured out what exactly it smelled like. A little woodsy, a little herbal. It reminded him of warmth and comfort, even more alluring with the way the other’s body heat warmed him up a bit. In the end, it didn’t matter what exactly it was. It smelled nice, and this scent would forever be associated with Ajax for him.

Ajax had no idea how right he’d been during lunch. He was irresistible. Maybe not for all archons, but certainly for him. Everything about the fatuus drew him in, fascinated him, enticed him. He could spend hours just studying the lines of his body or listening to him talk and learn more about him.

He sometimes wondered if Ajax was aware that he was extraordinarily attractive. Sometimes he thought he was, with his boyish grin, his charm and seemingly never-ending confidence. Though the latter, he’d found out, did have its limits.

The ginger’s mind seemed to work very similar to his own. Faking confidence, hiding behind masks and personas. Never letting people see the real him. Except they had both let each other behind the curtain, the actors had taken off their masks and stopped their performance.

Sometimes, it made Zhongli feel out of his depth. Because he was an almost 7000 year old dragon-qilin hybrid adeptus, a god and a former archon. It had taken him so long to understand his own emotions and to learn things that humans learnt at such young ages. He sometimes still felt like a child, pretending to be a grownup and having everything in control.

In the face of all that Ajax achieved, endured and learned in merely a quarter century, it made him feel almost small. If the other had been a god during the archon war, Zhongli had no doubt he would have become an archon. Someone with such skills, such burning passion and such willpower would have easily gained their place amongst the seven. In a way, he was surprised that Ajax didn’t get a pyro vision. But of course, hydro fit him perfectly well as well, after all he was unpredictable and adaptable.

Zhongli could feel Ajax’ hand brush down from the top of his shoulder, down over his shoulder blade, making him shiver lightly. “Are you okay? You were spacing out for a moment…” He quietly said right next to his ear, warm breath fanning over his skin.

“Ah, my apologies. I was just briefly wondering just how you manage to seemingly make everything perfectly on your first try,” he said. Which wasn’t completely lying, he had very roughly been thinking something somewhere in that general direction after all.

“Oh trust me, I don’t. But sometimes I get lucky. Most things take a few tries.” Ajax said with a soft laugh, then regrettably moved away from him and towards the counter, taking the steamed egg with him to place it in the middle.

Guizhong had already seated herself at the counter, giving him a smug look. She had sat down in the same seat as during lunch, Ajax in the same as well. It wasn’t a difficult choice where to sit.

They all filled their bowls. The fatuus didn’t immediately start eating, instead he looked over to Zhongli, waiting.

“Hm?” The adeptus asked, looking back at him questioning.

“I just want to see if you like it. If I did well,” Ajax admitted quietly, a hint of a smile twitching on his lips.

Before Zhongli could get distracted, he took a spoonful and put it into his mouth. The egg was soft and custardy, with a gentle but well seasoned flavour and the lotus seeds gave some texture and a hint of a nutty taste. “It’s delicious. If I wouldn’t know it’s your first time cooking this, I would have never known.”

There was a hint of pink over Ajax’s nose and cheeks as he thanked him, then started to eat as well.

“He’s right, this is really good,” Guizhong spoke up, muffled a little bit due to her mouth being full. “Sorry,” she immediately added, swallowing. “My point stands, it’s delicious,” she shrugged.

Ajax laughed softly. “Thank you, talking with a full mouth or not, I appreciate it.”

“He’s a man of many talents, isn’t he? He strikes me as one of those,” she said, digging a little for some more lotus seeds.

“Ah. No, no. I’m good at fighting and know how to use many weapons, and I’m decent with cooking because I used to cook for my younger siblings back home. But that’s it with my talents.” Ajax replied sheepishly.

Zhongli picked up his cup and took a sip of tea. “Don’t sell yourself short like that. You aren’t only a master of many different weapons, you’re also a very strong vision holder. Also you are a very quick learner in general. It didn’t take you long to learn about Liyue and it’s culture and our way of living. And don’t think I haven’t heard you practising your liyuen with Xingqiu and Chongyun the other week. It’s much improved in this short time since you decided to start learning. And I’m sure there’s many talents that you have that I have yet to discover. And even more that you yourself still have to discover, as you try new things over your life.”

The colour on the gingers face deepened, while Guizhong watched him with an amused expression. “Are you alright, Childe? You look a little red.”

He quickly covered his face with one hand, moving the other in a dismissive manner. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I just can’t take compliments to save my life. And he seems to give those out quite freely recently.”

“They are not empty compliments. I wouldn’t say so if I didn’t truly think it,” Zhongli insisted, not wanting Ajax thinking that he was just making things up.

“You should stop, I think you’re breaking him,” Guizhong giggled, watching him go even redder.

Zhongli chuckled, shaking his head fondly. Ajax looked adorable whenever he turned red like this, it was a shame that he was covering his face. “Hm, perhaps I should.”

Even if he didn’t really want to. Complimenting the snezhnayan was easy after all, when there was so much that Zhongli liked about him. But he didn’t want to embarrass him even more, or worse, give away his feelings.

Because in the end, he couldn’t know. Knowing wouldn’t do Ajax any good. It would only cause a rift between them, Zhongli had heard humans say that they weren’t comfortable being around people that had confessed to them after all.

He didn’t want the fatuus to be uncomfortable around him.

He didn’t want to lose him, no matter what.

Chapter Text

They spent dinner idly chatting over this and that, answering some of Guizhong’s questions about modern Liyue. After dinner, she excused herself again, saying she was still very tired and she wanted to get up early tomorrow so she could start reading and learning.

Ever dutiful, Ajax helped Zhongli with the dishes. As if it wasn’t another excuse to stay close to him, even just being by his side, their elbows occasionally brushing against each other. His body had really started to just gravitate towards the adeptus. But it didn’t seem like he minded. They both weren’t used to being touched, much less in a gentle manner. So they both seemed to enjoy to have someone that they could be close to after years of being starved of touch.

Once they were done, Zhongli made them tea and took out a small box of sweets from one of the cabinets. He placed them on the tray next to the cups that Ajax had already placed there. Then he took a small bowl from another cabinet and put it on the tray and carried it to his bedroom.

Ajax could feel how he was getting a little bit nervous when the god put the tray down next to the bed. Zhongli said that he might be able to alleviate his pains with some oils. That-That meant he’d have to take off his shirt, so the other could apply them. What would he think, if he saw the extent of scars on his body?

Not that he thought that the adeptus found him particularly attractive – even if he had complimented his eyes, but maybe that was most likely the only thing he liked. But as far as he had seen yesterday, Zhongli’s own body was void of any flaws. Of course it was, he was an adeptus, a god. Naturally every sliver of his body would be absolutely perfect.

So what would he think about Ajax’ own, so opposite of godly perfection, marred with scars, littered with freckles and moles? He remembered well how the kids in school had teased him for his hair and his freckles, saying they were ugly and disgusting. He remembered the gagging noises following him very well. Someone like the god shouldn’t have to see that.

Of course he had worked hard on his muscles, but that was mostly due to his excessive amounts of training. And even then, he wasn’t able to build bulk, no matter what he did. Well, some people were just not made that way, but he sometimes wished that what muscles he had didn’t completely disappear once he was dressed. It made people think he was scrawny and weak. That was part of the reason why he kept a little of his stomach exposed, showing just a bit of his abdominals. It seemed people underestimated him a little less.

“You said that you think warmth helps with your pains, right?” The brunette asked, walking over to a slim cabinet in the corner of the room, small bowl in his left hand.

Ajax nodded. “I think so, yeah. At least they’ve been a little bit better since I arrived in Liyue.”

The god hummed, taking out a small bottle made from dark glass, carefully inspecting the label. He nodded to himself, then placed the bottle into the bowl. “What does the pain feel like?”

The fatuus thought about it for a moment. “It’s like… a dull throbbing. Pulsing pressure. Little bit needly, like someone pricking into the skin over and over again at a rapid pace. And like… it radiates outward. It’s not just at the immediate places where I was injured, it goes outwards from there.”

He took a deep breath. “The rift hound injury is on my collarbone, but I feel it all the way to my shoulder joint and at the backside of the shoulder,” Ajax said, tracing his finger along the whole right hand side of the collarbone, around the shoulder and to the back. “The one next to my spine hurts a bit up towards the nape and a little downwards along the spine.”

Zhongli watched him for a moment, then nodded, tracing his fingers along the many small bottles stacked neatly in the cabinet. He took out two more, placed them in the bowl as well. He tapped his finger on the wood, then made a soft noise as he found what he was searching for, procuring another bottle from the back of the cabinet. Then he took a small wooden stick out of it.

“These should suffice for a first try.” Zhongli hummed, setting the bowl down on the desk close to it. He took the bottles out of it, then started pouring some of the different oils into the bowl. Their smell wasn’t bad at all, even as the adeptus started carefully stirring them together with the wooden stick.

“Could you please take off your shirt? I will be ready in just a moment,” Zhongli asked softly. He then took his gloves off and set them down onto the desk.

Ajax swallowed dryly, he could feel his heartbeat quicken. He carefully opened the metal clasp holding the leather straps together, then took them off. Then he worked one button open after another, shrugging his shirt off and laying it onto the bed. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to hide a little bit.

The brunette walked over, standing in front of him, inspecting the scar on his collarbone. Then, his fingers traced around the whole area that the fatuus had traced just moments before. His touch was featherlight, making Ajax shiver slightly.

“All around here, right? I will apply a bit further even, sometimes it helps better when you don’t just put it on the immediate area. It’s a little cold, I will warm it up in my hand for a moment before I start,” he said with a soft hum. “Can you uncross your arms please? It’ll be better if everything is in a relaxed position.”

“Y-Yeah,” Ajax managed to get out, quickly uncrossing his arms and letting them just hang by his sides. He could feel the intensity of Zhongli’s gaze on him, scrutinizing him.

“My… my apologies,” he said, his throat feeling dry. What was the god thinking? Was he already starting to regret his offer, having to touch him when he looked like this?

Zhongli was putting some oil onto his palm, closing his fingers over it to warm it up. “What for? It’s not that this is something bothersome for me. Quite contrary, I would be very happy if this brought you some relief.”

He sounded so honest, and Ajax knew that he was. Zhongli had promised after all, no lies. And the god was such a caring person.

“That… but… Just… don’t look too close. I’m… well… quite ugly,” the fatuus said quietly, laughing a little at the end. Good, deflection. Deflection had always helped him.

“I don’t know what to do if the sight of all my scars and freckles makes you nauseous,” he added with another laugh.

The golden gaze that had been focused on his shoulder flicked upwards, looking at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“Ah, I mean the freckles themselves are already pretty gross, the scars don’t make it any better. I-I would do it myself if I could, spare you the sight. But unfortunately I can’t reach that far,” he mumbled. “Feels a bit like sacrilege, making you see and touch that.”

“Sacrilege?” The other breathed, furrowing his brows a little.

“Eh… You know, since you’re a god,” he said intelligently. It felt wrong, someone as gorgeous as Zhongli having to see this body.

Zhongli fixed him with his gaze, Ajax looked down, trying to avoid those stunning eyes. But the god wouldn’t give up. “How would me seeing your scars and freckles be sacrilege?”

“You know, there must be some rule or something that gods should only be around beautiful things. And I mean, the freckles on my face are already pretty bad… The ones on my shoulders are worse. And all those scars and moles. So just… sorry. You don’t have to… I understand if it’s too much. I don’t want you to feel ill just because you wanted to help me, so you don’t have to if it’s too bad.” Ajax replied quietly. He didn’t want him to suffer just for wanting to help him after all.

He often thought that his face would be much more attractive if not for those cursed freckles. And there were more of it on his shoulders and arms, his chest… For a few years he had even considered colouring his hair. Then he hadn’t thought about it for a while, until he had met Zhongli.

And at the beginning he thought about it again, maybe the funeral consultant would find him attractive if it wasn’t for his red hair. But then he remembered that he already knew what he actually looked like, so even If he would turn up with black or brown hair, he would always know he really was a ginger.

Even later, it didn’t matter anymore because Zhongli wasn’t just a funeral consultant anymore, but the geo archon. And someone like the geo archon would never fall in love with someone like him. He used to wonder if he ever had relationships with humans, but even if, he wouldn’t be good enough.

Then, he learnt that the man he was in love with only was able to love one person in his whole life. It would never be him. Ginger or not.

But they were friends, and Ajax felt lucky that they were starting to have such a close and trusting relationship. But still, here he was, scared that Zhongli was disgusted by the way his body looked. Scared, that if Zhongli ever thought about him in terms of looks, he considered him as ugly as everyone else had always seen him.

Zhongli breathed a deep breath, then carefully started to apply the oil to his collarbone, starting at the point almost in the middle of his torso. His touch was careful and gentle, but firm enough to massage the oil into the skin. It felt nice, Ajax almost wanted to close his eyes and just concentrate on the feeling.

“Is the pressure fine? Too hard, too light?” The god asked calmly, looking at him inquisitively.

“Perfect, not too hard,” he quickly replied. It really was, as if he just knew how much pressure would feel pleasant.

Zhongli nodded, looking happy with the answer. “About what you said... I will be quite frank, if you’ll allow me to.”

“Sure,” Ajax croaked. It felt like his throat was still dry, as if he’d swallowed a handful of sand.

“Whoever told you that your freckles and moles are disgusting, must have been the most gigantic idiot to ever walk the earth. And an equally gigantic waste of air and resources,” the adeptus said with audible agitation. “When I was young, you know what moles and freckles were seen as?”

Ajax shook his head, not trusting his voice after the first statement. His heart was beating even worse, feeling like it was about to jump out of his throat. He had never heard Zhongli speak like that about someone, anyone. Normally he was so calm and collected.

Zhongli hummed, massaging towards his shoulder now. He could feel his skin feeling a little warmer where the other had already applied the oil.

 “They were seen as beauty marks. The story people saw behind them was that someone was so absolutely beautiful, that they rivalled the beauty of gods. Out of jealousy, the gods would leave marks on their skin. But even with this reasoning, they weren’t seen as flaws, they didn’t make them any less beautiful. On the contrary: It was seen as divine proof of the extraordinary beauty of the individuals carrying them.”

The god moved to his side, working on his shoulder joint, looking up at him with a sincere gaze. “I don’t know when the belief changed, but I can’t see it as anything else.”

A sign of beauty? He laughed weakly. “Everyone always made fun of me for it.”

“Very often, when people make fun of someone for something, it’s actually jealousy. Especially children often can’t cope with their emotions. The same children making fun of you might have secretly had a crush on you. Not always of course, sometimes people are just plain cruel. And you shouldn’t settle for someone who treated you in such a way either.” The brunette said. Ajax could hear him pouring some more oil into his hand, folding his fingers over his palm to warm it up.

He couldn’t help but close his eyes after all, the other mans touch felt so nice and relaxing. He wouldn’t mind him going on like this forever, maybe being lulled to sleep by the pleasant timbre of his voice. The fatuus could feel his heart beating hard against his ribs.

“You deserve someone who sees you like that. Divine beauty, marked by the envy of prideful gods. And for the scars… I do not believe that something like scars diminishes ones appearance. Of course you may think a body without scars would be more attractive and proof of a skilled fighter, being able to evade others weapons. But I see scars as a sign of strength and tenacity. Every scar is proof of a battle survived.”

He moved to the back, starting to apply the oil to the back of his shoulder and a little down towards the shoulder blade.  Ajax could feel what great care he took, even lightly massaging along the curve of the shoulder blade. “The way you said it makes me think you believe I do not have any of my own.”

“You do?” Ajax asked surprised. But Rex Lapis had an invincible shield. How could there be any scars? How could his body be any less than flawless?

Zhongli hummed in reply, then carefully applied the rest of the oil along his spine and upwards towards his nape, taking some time to massage the joint as well. When Ajax felt that he was about to be done, he opened his eyes again, with a little regret. But Zhongli had said he would keep doing this for him if it helped, right?

Then, the adeptus walked around Ajax, wiping his hands with a small towel. “Of course. Over 6000 years and you really think there are none?” he said with a soft chuckle, obviously amused.

His heart was pounding when he could see the other man move, slowly undoing the buttons of his vest, then of his shirt and shrugging both off. He put them onto the bed, just next to Ajax’ maroon one. With a deep breath, the adeptus relaxed his transformation, turning into his original form right before Ajax’ eyes.

Ajax stared in wonder, considering this was the first time he was doing so deliberately, and not accidentally only to immediately return to his mortal form. He couldn’t help but notice that the statues of the seven definitely did not depict the god in his peak physical form. They were shaped nicely, absolutely. But the real deal definitely had a more pronounced chest and abs.

The golden geo lines from his shoulders ran down at the sides of his muscular chest in the same geometric patterns, down to his waist and there went over his ribs to his back. Small, translucent scales were scattered over his body as well, just like they were on his face and neck. He wondered what they would feel like.

Just above Zhongli’s right hip was a large, ragged scar almost reaching his well defined abdominal muscles. The god lifted his arm and turned around a bit, showing that it wrapped around his side and even reached the back. “This was Osial. I was foolish, thought he was dead. I dropped my shield and was about to leave. He bit me and gave me this memento.”

Then, he lifted his other arm up, showing the inside of his upper arm. Just above the armpit was a patch of grey on the otherwise black skin, the golden pattern interrupted. “This is from before the archon war, I had my arm raised with my spear, like this…” Zhongli said, moving his fist above his head. “The man I fought was lying on the ground, I was about to deliver a last attack, but he managed to get me with his spear and twisted it when it was in my arm. Hence why it’s not narrow but more roundish.”

On the same side, Zhongli pulled down the top of his pants a little, showing him a short scar just below the hip bone. “This one here, I got before I even became a god. I was practising my fighting skills with another adeptus, we were tired of wooden training weapons so we decided on the real deal. He got a good hit in,” Zhongli said with a fond laugh, brushing along the scar. Ajax had to remind himself to not stare too closely at the visible v-line of his hip.

“There are two more, on my left upper thigh. Here… and there.” He said, running his finger over the positions. “I got these at the start of the archon war. A god that could turn himself invisible, he got two slashes in before I could react and raise my shield.

Bending over, he pulled up the leg of his tight pants enough to show the side of his lower leg, where a long, narrow scar was. “And this one was me being young and dumb again. Long before I perfected my shield to the point that it would be known as impenetrable. I told a friend my shield was indeed impenetrable, because I was cocky and thought it was…” Zhongli huffed and gave him a grin, two canine teeth at each side clearly visible and definitely much pointier and sharper than human teeth. “Clearly it wasn’t, as you can see.”

Carefully, the adeptus pulled his long hair to the side, turning his head to reveal a thin, light scar that started just behind his jawbone and went down to the side of his neck. “This too. I got injured by an arrow there when I was a young. It didn’t hit me fully but passed by me close enough to cut me.”

“And I have moles as well. Here, just below my navel. And up here, at the bend between my neck and shoulder. And I believe my mother once said that there’s one in my nape as well, but obviously I can’t see that myself,” he said, tapping his finger next to them, then turning around and raising his hair out of the way. And really, just below the hairline, almost perfectly in the middle was a small mark. “There’s one on my left ankle too. I’m pretty sure if my arms weren’t like this, I would surely have some there as well.”

Zhongli turned around again to face him, smiling at him gently. “So you see, god or not. We all have marks, we all have scars. There is absolutely nothing even remotely disgusting about the way you look. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that.

I keep the scars hidden from my mortal vessel simply because I don’t want someone to see them and ask about them. People do not see ‘Zhongli’ as a fighter, I don’t think anyone even really suspects me being able to use weapons. I’ve heard talk of people wondering how and why I got a vision in the first place.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of these scars, I simply don’t feel like having to come up with a fake story on how I got them. Sure, some I could tell the actual stories. But I just perceived it as easier to hide them. Just as I found it easier to make my hair shorter,” the adeptus explained, shrugging lightly.

Ajax blinked, still processing the new information and the fact that the former geo archon was standing in front of him in his actual, real body. Shirtless. Showing him the scars and marks on his own body. Just to make him feel better about himself. To… to prove him that there was nothing wrong with how he looked. That there was nothing disgusting about him.

“Ah. Have I… Have I made you uncomfortable? I probably should have asked before dropping almost all of my transformations. And before undressing. I apologize, I just thought you might feel better if you’ve seen for yourself that I have almost as many scars as you do,” the adeptus said sheepishly, his face flushing just a little.

“No! No, you didn’t. I’m sorry I was just… processing everything you told and showed me. I’m.. I’m thankful, it all bothered me for a long time I guess. I was made fun of for my hair and freckles the moment I started school. The other kids, they would.. walk past me or follow me and make gagging noises.” Ajax admitted quietly.

He sighed softly. “There also was a folk tale about how people with my hair colour don’t have souls, that we’re witches and will do evil to other people. I heard that a lot, other kids didn’t want to play with me out of fear of getting a spell put on them.”

Zhongli shook his head. “How ridiculous. As if the colour of ones hair says anything. And if it does, shouldn’t someone whose hair shines like the finest copper be considered something special instead? Contrary to us, with our simple brown, black, or blonde?” Zhongli mused.

“A-as if your hair is simple. It looks like it’s glowing sometimes!” Ajax exclaimed.

“Oh it does that occasionally. Usually when I use my powers, then it does so even in my mortal vessel. Otherwise it just… it’s not random, it’s tied to my emotional state, I guess. Same with the eyes. They do it when I use my powers too, or sometimes when I’m mad or especially happy…” the god admitted.

“So they do actually glow?! I thought I’d seen it a few times, but I wasn’t sure. And after I noticed that your real eye colour is lighter than the one of your mortal form I thought it’s just caused by you letting lose on the transformation.”

“No, no, they really do glow. It’s a thing shared by us gods.” Zhongli said with a small smile. “But most people would find that more strange or scary than anything else.”

Ajax swallowed. “I don’t. It’s actually very pretty,” he admitted softly. Zhongli had given his best to make him feel better about his own body. He could be a bit more honest and make him feel better about his.

Chapter Text

Zhongli had taken a long time to master patience. An even longer time he took to master not getting violently angry at any minor inconvenience. He still struggled with that, at least inwardly. He did not show it outwardly much anymore. And he was still working on mastering forgiveness, for both himself and others.

So to himself it did not come as a surprise that the dragon inside him growled and snarled when Ajax spoke about being ugly, about people mocking him and avoiding him only for his freckles and his auburn hair.

His first instinct was to grab him by the shoulders and ask him for the names of anyone who ever dared to utter something remotely along those lines, then hunt them down and make them pay. There weren’t many things more terrifying than seeing a meteor hover in the air above, waiting to strike you down and crush you. But that probably wouldn’t help Ajax at this point.

How dare they? How very dare they say such things to this man, no this boy! Because he had only been a young boy when they started feeding him these words, whispering doubt into his ear, planting seeds of insecurity in his mind and cultivating them, waiting for them to take root deep in his consciousness. Until they would bear ugly, poisonous fruit.

Zhongli got to witness them bearing fruit. It was the way Ajax’ arms crossed in front of his freckled chest, the way he apologized to him for having to touch him, and how he sometimes noticed the freckles on his face were gone – covered up by makeup on some days. Zhongli didn’t like those days, because he loved his freckles.

He could only imagine how deeply it hurt the fatuus. How ashamed he felt of himself, simply for looking the way he did. And that hurt Zhongli as well, because for him Ajax was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. And people did say beauty laid in the eye of the beholder. Which meant something, considering how many people he had seen and met over his long life. 

Everything about him fascinated the god to no end. He had never seen someone with hair of that colour before, so the auburn hair with its copper sheen had immediately caught his eye. Especially paired with those striking blue eyes, framed with thick lashes, standing out under his charmingly windswept hair. The slightly upturned nose was decorated by adorable freckles that spanned over both of his cheekbones as well, which were high and attractive.

His lips looked soft and plush, especially so whenever the other would nervously worry his lower lip between his teeth. And his smile and laugh were sweet and honest, and Zhongli wanted to see and hear it all the time. Just as well as his pleasant voice.

The lines of his neck and Adams apple were elegant, his shoulders and chest broad but not too much so. His waist and hips on the other hand were narrow, sometimes when his pants were riding just a little low, there would be a bit of his hipbone visible. And not to mention the very visibly well defined abdominal muscles.

And now, that he had seen him without a shirt on, he knew that his chest, shoulders, back and arms were just as nicely defined. Beautiful lines of powerful, lean muscle. Someone built for endurance and flexibility, just like himself. Not the bulk of raw physical power as some men had. His legs were just as nicely defined, clearly muscular and strong.

Along his shoulders and arms were trails of freckles as well, and a light dusting of them on the top portion of his chest and his back. Zhongli loved his freckles and he didn’t understand how people could see them as something disgusting. All he wanted to do was trace lines between the dots with his fingers. Kiss along them. Or maybe gently bite the trail on top of his shoulder.

The various scars scattered over his body were nothing that took away from his beauty either. On the contrary, they were proof of how strong and resilient this man was. Coming out of so many battles alive, his body healing and charging into the next fight without fear. His skin was surprisingly soft and supple beneath his fingertips.

His hands looked nice as well, and felt very nice whenever they touched or joined hands. They were just a little bit smaller than the gods hands, with slender and long fingers. Ajax’ whole body seemed to be a masterpiece of perfect proportions and balance between beauty and strength. Truly, even gods would be envious of such beauty.

So he could not let Ajax keep thinking about himself like this. He had acted completely on instinct, without even thinking about it when he had unbuttoned his own shirt and let go of most of his transformations. He hadn’t thought about how it would look like for Ajax, when he had showed all of his own scars and told him how he got them, and then showed him his own moles.

Only when he was done and Ajax stared at him with wide eyes, it really set in what he had done. He wasn’t sure which was the top spot of his most embarrassing moments so far. Was it when he thought they had been dating for a few months? When he thought they were engaged and started to talk about planning their wedding? Waking up cuddled close to Ajax and calling him ‘my love’? Or was it this very moment? All very good contenders indeed.

But when Ajax thanked him, he couldn’t feel embarrassed anymore. If it helped him just a little, to see that even a god was not without marks on his body, then it was more than worth it. Dragons would do anything for their one. Whatever was within their power to make them happy would be done. That did not even depend on them being in a relationship, even if they would never be with their one, they would still do anything for them. So he would do anything for Ajax.

And then he told him he liked it when his eyes where glowing, Zhongli couldn’t help but feel like he was about to combust. Any time the fatuus said anything the like, he felt like his heart was about to leap out of his chest. He wanted to kiss him, hold him, never let him go again.

Sometimes, for an instant, he would feel hopeful. While his own heart was set on Ajax, the other man was a human and humans could fall in and out of love repeatedly. So the possibility of the fatuus falling in love with him might not be completely zero for all eternity. Though very close to it, most likely.

But a compliment about his eyes or the patterns on his arms wasn’t… It didn’t mean anything at all. His adeptal features had only two possible effects on people. They either found them scary and ugly or beautiful. Most people tended to see them as scary. A few found them beautiful. It didn’t mean that Ajax was in any way romantically interested in him. For all he knew, Ajax might be only attracted to women, after all.

“So the geo lines really do go further. I had been wondering if they were only on your arms,” Ajax said softly behind him.

“Ah yes, it is one connected pattern with the geo sigil on my back as the centre.” He replied, gathering his long hair to the side with his hand and turning around, showing the sigil sitting over his spine, evenly between his shoulder blades. He took out his cor lapis hair ornament, that uselessly only held a small portion of his hair together now, being too small to hold it all together in this form.

“How pretty,” Ajax breathed, making the god feel warm with affection. He was surprised to feel a soft, careful touch over his spine. Warm fingers slowly tracing the shape of the sigil, making him shiver pleasantly.

“Ah, sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” The fatuus said, sounding sheepish. Much to Zhongli’s regret, the touch disappeared with the sound of Ajax stepping back a step or two.

The adeptus turned around and smiled at the other man gently. “It’s fine, I told you before that I don’t mind.” As if he’d ever mind feeling his touch. As if he didn’t spend day and night craving it, yearning for it.

“Who-whoever made those statues of the seven should get sued. They made you look very different than what you actually look like.” Ajax laughed softly.

“Oh no, that’s what I looked like at the time. When you see me in my transformations, with my actual arms, then add my face the way it looks now with the eyes, the scales, the fangs… That was me during the archon war, and that’s what the statues are modelled after. It was more convenient to fight looking like that. Keeping my face in the original form allowed me to use all my senses at their strongest, but my hair and my tail would only get in the way.” Zhongli explained, brushing a strand of his hair aside.

He liked having his hair long like this, but during the archon war, styling it to reliably stay in place and not come undone or block his view had been too annoying. So he came up with the hairstyle that he wore in his mortal form today as well. The hair around his face short enough to not block his view, and a longer portion in the back.

Ajax made a thoughtful noise, nodding lightly. “I see, that makes sense. Your hair really is very long.” Then, a soft laugh escaped him.

Did he think he looked ridiculous? Now that he thought about it, most snezhnayan men he’d seen so far had short hair. So maybe they thought long hair wasn’t for men. Or maybe Ajax just thought it didn’t suit him. Maybe it really didn’t, just because he’d always had it long didn’t mean it looked good. “Oh… Maybe I should cut it sometime, does it look that bad?”

“What, no! I wasn’t laughing because I think it looks bad. It’s beautiful! I just couldn’t help but think that my little sister would have a lot of fun with your hair, so many possibilities with how long it is. She loves styling hair, and I don’t think either of us have ever seen anyone with hair as long as yours.” The fatuus quickly replied, waving his hands.

Oh, that was something completely different of course. He could feel his chest fill with warmth when the ginger called his hair beautiful and even thought about him and his sister meeting. Zhongli chuckled fondly.

“Well, I haven’t styled my hair much in the past few years since I usually stayed in my mortal form for long periods. But I know quite many intricate hairstyles that I used to do when I was younger. So if I’ll ever get to meet little miss Tonia, I can teach her some styles if she wants. And she could style my hair as much as she likes.”

“You-You would want to meet my siblings?” Ajax asked, looking surprised. His hand came up to brush a strand of his bangs out of his blue eyes, flicking it to the side.

Zhongli nodded. “Of course, why would I not want to meet them? They’re your siblings, I’m sure they’re lovely. But of course I can understand if you’d prefer to keep that part of your life separate. Especially considering it might be too difficult to explain who I am since they don’t know your real profession, even if you leave out all the details.”

He didn’t expect Ajax ever taking him back to Snezhnaya with him when he went there to see his siblings. Or introduce them if he had them travel over to Liyue. Understandably, it would be difficult how a toy seller would know a funeral consultant.

“Eh, I could just tell them we partnered up with Wangsheng funeral parlour so you’d have toys to give to children that lost someone. Tonia knows about the lie, and for Anton and Teucer that would probably be good enough. But be warned, they’re very excitable. They’ll want to hear all the stories you know,” the fatuus said with a soft laugh. “I thought before that they would probably love Liyue, but getting them here would be pretty difficult. But maybe one day. I hope to be stationed here for a while longer, after all.”

“Oh don’t worry, I would tell them everything they want to hear. I know many tales that would excite children. I was an actor for a while after all, and I spent a while as a storyteller myself.” Telling stories to Ajax’ siblings would be a more than worthwhile use of his time. The implication of trust that Ajax had in him that he would allow him to spend time with his siblings made warmth bloom in his chest.

The fatuus smiled softly. “I’m sure you’d have them all ears for your stories, asking for more and more until they’re so tired they can’t keep their eyes open anymore. Worst case you’d find yourself in a pile of sleeping children. Me probably right next to them, too.”

“You say that as if that’s a bad thing. I’d just put you all on this bed when I start, I have even more blankets and pillows around. Then everyone can just fall asleep where they are when they’re tired. I heard children like sleepovers.” Zhongli said, nodding to his bed. It was more than large enough after all.

“That would mean you’d have to let them inside here though.”

Zhongli quirked up his eyebrow. Was his realm not appropriate for children? “Would that be a problem? Would it scare them? I could change some things.”

“What, no, I mean that would mean you’d have to disclose about you not being a normal person. Normal people don’t have places like this,” Ajax replied, looking worried. “I just don’t want you in trouble, is all.”

“Ah, don’t worry about that. I’d find age appropriate ways to explain the concept of adepti to them. They wouldn’t need to know I’m a god or a former archon, being an adeptus would explain enough. And if word of that gets out, well, you said it yourself – a good portion of the harbour already expects me to be one.” He explained with a shrug.

He didn’t really see any bad consequences in letting a few children know about this portion of himself. Or even a few adults, if the rest of Ajax’ family would tag along as well. “It would be convenient for them to stay here, especially if you don’t want them in fatui buildings. I can just create more rooms as needed here.”

“You-You would be fine with them staying here? As in, the duration of their stay?” Again, the gingers eyes were wide in surprise.

“Of course. They’re your family after all. And I don’t mean just your little siblings, your older ones and parents, whoever you wish. You can just tell me how many rooms you need. And maybe a heads up on the amount of people, so I could make sure to stock enough food.” He said simply. It was an easy task, housing people in an abode or realm.

The god brushed a strand of his hair to the side, making sure it wouldn’t fall back into his face. “You can stay here as long as you like too. It’s been… lonely here, all these years. Suddenly, with you here… and Guizhong now too… I like it better. Neither dragons nor qilin are creatures that like to be alone. I don’t particularly like it, I just got used to it.”

“That’s… thank you so much.” Ajax smiled, and it was such a beautiful, fond smile that Zhongli thought he would do anything to get more smiles like that. Anything to see this man happy.

Zhongli could feel the breeze coming in through the window and shivered slightly, reminding him that they were still standing around with their bare torsos. “Ah, we should get dressed for the night,” he said quickly, walking over to the wardrobe.

Looking through his night robes, he knew there were a few in colours he normally didn’t wear. They had been gifts from people that hadn’t known any better, and he appreciated them nonetheless. He preferred shades of warm colours such as yellow, orange, red and brown. Cooler colours didn’t suit him much, he found. But he was sure that Ajax would look wonderful in them.

He hummed softly when he found the particular robe he had been looking for – a beautiful shade of blue, so similar to the Snezhnayans eyes. With a pattern made from silver thread, stitched into the shapes of delicate, billowy clouds. Yes, he surely would look striking in this. After all, he had heard before that someone’s eye colour could be complemented by the colour they wore.

Carefully, he took the robe out and held it towards Ajax. “What do you say? I feel like this colour would suit you very much.”

“Oh, this is absolutely beautiful,” the fatuus breathed, eyeing the intricate silver thread pattern on it. “Is it really fine when I wear these expensive looking robes? They are yours after all, some of them maybe even gifts…”

“Of course it’s fine. As you said, they are mine. So I can give them to wear to whoever I please. I have never even worn that one,” Zhongli said with a shrug, taking out a robe in a warm shade of burnt umber and a copper coloured trim.

Ajax looked back at him curiously. “Why not?”

“I prefer warm colours, cold ones look odd on me. That’s the problem with my eyes and my hair, cold colours clash horribly. You on the other hand, with your combination, can pull off either.” Zhongli pulled the robe over his shoulders, then turned around to finish dressing and give Ajax some privacy to do the same.

He could hear the soft noise of the fabric and of the others belt being opened. While he waited and could hear that the other was still busy, he got his transformations back in place.  After all, it’d been quite a few minutes and he was sure that the fatuus would likely feel more comfortable with him looking like a normal person again.

There was a difference between knowing Zhongli was a dragon-qilin hybrid and actually seeing him like that. No matter how much time he spent as the mortal funeral consultant Zhongli, he would always be a god, a former archon. He would always be an adeptus. And at the core of it all, he would always be an illuminated beast, a hybrid between qilin and mountain dragon.

And no matter how hard he would try to not let his past define him, more than anything else, he would always be Morax, until his very last breath. The dragon that became a warrior god. So it was completely logical if Ajax would always be a little wary, especially when he was around him in his true form.

Chapter Text

“Are you okay? You’re spacing out again, I think,” Ajax said carefully, his fingers brushing over his shoulder.

Zhongli blinked, shaking his head slightly to chase the thoughts away. “Ah, I apologise. I suppose my thoughts are still metaphorically digesting our talk this afternoon.” He admitted.

“What were you thinking about? If you want to talk about it, of course.” Ajax’ hand stayed on his shoulder, feeling warm and grounding through the thin silk. Anchoring him like a lifeline against the hurricane that were his thoughts.

The god hummed softly. He knew he could voice his thoughts, could be honest with Ajax the way he couldn’t be honest with anyone else. “Just that it would be better to get my transformations back in place.”

“Of course, we don’t want the filthy commoner gazing upon your divine form for too long,” the fatuus said with a light-hearted laugh. “I am worse than a commoner even, an abyss monster! I am utterly unworthy!” he exclaimed dramatically, the hand that wasn’t resting on Zhongli’s shoulder clasped over his heart. “You should strike me down with a meteor for gazing upon thee!”

Zhongli blinked, looking at Ajax’ theatrics, then laughing softly, shaking his head fondly.

“Oh come on, why else would you always put them back so quickly? Didn’t you say it takes effort? Shouldn’t you want to relax a bit?” The fatuus asked, tilting his head ever so slightly.

“It does take effort. But it’s fine. I want you to be comfortable as well.” The god said, smiling at him.

He wanted the ginger to be able to relax, feel safe and comfortable here. That was easier if the person next to you didn’t look like a strange creature with scales and sharp fangs. Especially with his history of being lost in the abyss for three months.

“Huh? Why wouldn’t I be?” The hand that was resting on his shoulder now started absentmindedly tracing the geometric pattern on his robe.

Zhongli sighed. Ajax’ touch was so pleasant, even through the layer of silk. “I don’t think you’d be able to relax or even actually sleep if I was next to you in my adeptal form. I’m already worried you won’t be able to sleep, seeing as I turned back during the night and you woke up to me looking like that.”

“I repeat, why wouldn’t I?”

The adeptus just looked at him, raising his eyebrows. Wasn’t the answer obvious?

“Don’t look at me like the answer is obvious! I’m not stupid! I still don’t get it,” Ajax huffed.

“I’m a dragon. You’ve seen how my adeptal form looks. You know what the exuvia looks like, you’ve seen it at the rite of descension and in the golden house.” Zhongli stated.

“Aaaaand?”

“And what?”

“What’s your point? Why wouldn’t I be able to sleep? Wait – You don’t seriously think I’m scared of you? Of your adeptal form? Because the whole sharp teeth and claws thing?” Ajax looked at him, clearly stunned by the revelation.

“You aren’t?”

“Why would I? Zhongli, you are who you are. I always know that. What you look like has zero influence on anything. You could take the form of the exuvia, I’d still sleep with no thought wasted about my safety. Celestia’s sake, next to you is the first time I’ve had an actual deep sleep in over ten years!” He said, throwing his hand in the air exasperatedly. 

Ajax looked at him with a serious expression, the mischief of moments before completely gone. “In the abyss, I trained myself to sleep lightly, wake up at the slightest noise or movement. I had to be ready to strike, no matter what. And that didn’t change in the fatui, no matter if I was in the fatui barracks or out on missions. So I never have a proper sleep, I wake up at least ten times during the night, if not more.

I know what it’s like to be constantly aware of danger. I always keep my vision on me. That’s why it’s on my belt, so I won’t lose it or it can’t easily be taken off. My belt is over there, on your bed. Quite a bit out of reach if I would feel threatened. Especially against an opponent like you. You’d have me incapacitated before I even could make a step towards it.

So trust me, I don’t perceive you as danger. Never. No matter if you’re next to me in all your transformations or none of them. It makes no difference for me, you’re the same person with and without. And I feel completely safe with you. So really, honestly, you can be yourself around me. Except of course, I’m unworthy after all, or you’re uncomfortable with me seeing you like that.“ Ajax finished with a slight hint of a grin, playing at his earlier theatrics.

Zhongli swallowed, his throat feeling tight. Ajax felt safe with him? Even when he was in his adeptal form? It… It didn’t make a difference for him?

“You… you don’t think my true form is scary, at all? You really don’t feel threatened when I’m around you like that?” He asked carefully.

“I don’t. I’ve lived in the abyss for three months, I’ve seen scary things. Your adeptal form isn’t one of them. Not for me. It’s still you, after all. Moreso, it’s more you than seeing you like this, in your mortal form. Since it’s what you actually look like. As I said, I can understand if there’s other reasons for you to change back every time. That this is something I’m not supposed to see simply because I’m not an adeptus or like, not family or something, I don’t know much about adepti culture…”

“You wouldn’t be bothered if I was around you looking like that? At all?” Zhongli asked, his heart beating erratically in his chest.

“No, not at all. I mean, admittedly, you might catch me staring because it’s just very different, but not in a bad way! Never in a bad way.” Ajax quickly assured. “I mean, I touched your back just a little while ago, I wouldn’t have done that if I was bothered, right?”

“Right…” The god said softly, taking a deep breath. Slowly, he let go of all his transformations. His tail had enough space under the robe, so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable or in the way as it did when wearing pants. And Ajax said he wasn’t bothered seeing him the way he truly was.

There was a gentle smile on the gingers lips as he watched him, making him feel warm. Zhongli noticed a strand of his long hair falling into his face, but before he could reach up to brush it to the side, Ajax had already done so, carefully tucking it away.

“I could braid your hair for you, if you like? I know how to do it loose enough to not be uncomfortable for sleeping like that, but still enough to hold and not be in your way. Ah, and you mentioned you use oil or your hair, I could put some in while braiding,” the fatuus offered.

“Ah, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you like that. And your shoulder hurts.” Even if the other man touching and braiding his hair sounded like a heavenly temptation. His hair was long, and there was a lot of it. Difficult enough to manage for himself.

“It’s not that bad, I promise. It must be difficult taking care of it all by yourself, no? I can help, as I said, I did my sisters hair all the time. My brother’s are easier, since it’s shorter, but with them I helped too. When was the last time you let someone take care of you?”

He couldn’t help but smile at the others insistence. Fine, if it truly wasn’t an inconvenience, he could give in. “If you insist that it isn’t. I trust you to be truthful with me regarding such things.”

“You can,” Ajax quickly replied, clapping his hands with a smile. “I’ll need a brush or a comb and a hair-tie. And the oil, if you want me to apply it.”

Zhongli quickly fetched everything, both a comb and a brush, a simple silken hair-tie and the bottle of glaze lily oil from the cabinet. He brought it all to Ajax, who motioned him to sit onto the bed, then kneeled behind him.

First Ajax gathered all of his hair at his nape, brushing his fingers along his neck to make sure he got every single strand and every stray hair. Then he started to carefully brush the hair at the top of his head. The adeptus could feel shivers run all over his scalp and down his spine. It felt so pleasant.

“My mother,” Zhongli said quietly.

“Hm?” Ajax asked, not stopping the gentle brushing.

“You asked earlier when the last time was that someone did something like this for me. It was my mother. I can’t remember the specific last time, but she would often brush my hair for me when I was younger, taught me how to do different styles and how to place pins and ornaments so everything would hold and not come undone all the time.” He explained.

“That sounds lovely. My mother used to brush mine too, when I was a kid still. I always loved it, it felt much more relaxing than when I do it myself,” Ajax said, smile audible in his voice.

“It is. This reminds me of it, it feels really nice,” the god admitted, closing his eyes and relaxing into his touch.

“Good, tell me if anything hurts, yes?”

“Will do.” Zhongli hummed, relaxing into the others touch.

Ajax touched his hair delicately, brushing it with care and then dividing it into sections. He could hear the oil being opened and some poured out, then the other man was carefully working it into the strands of hair, combing it in with his fingers. He worked bit by bit, sectioning, applying oil, then braiding. Then the next bit, and so on, working from his scalp down.

Zhongli doesn’t know when exactly he started purring, for a while his mind was so calm and at ease, that he didn’t register it himself. But when he did, he felt the heat shoot into his face, stopping immediately.

“Is something wrong? Did I hurt you?” Ajax asked worried from behind him, his fingers stopping their movement immediately.

“What, no, how do you get the idea?”

Ajax’s fingers started to move again, slowly and carefully. “You stopped purring. You’ve been doing that for a while, so I assumed I was doing good and you felt comfortable. But you stopped, so there must be something wrong?”

Zhongli could feel even more heat shoot into his face. “I-I’m sorry, how embarrassing,” he managed to reply.

“Huh? What’s embarrassing about it? Isn’t that normal for you? I mean I don’t know much about dragons, I just assumed it’s like when cats purr? Happy, comfortable? Is it not?”

“It is… You don’t think it’s strange?”

“Not he first time I’m hearing it, but I didn’t find it strange the first time either. You purred in your sleep this morning, that’s where I heard it the first time. And you seemed comfortable then, so I assumed it’s a relaxed thing. It’s cute, so no need to stop because of me. At least like that I know it feels nice. Please don’t strike me with a meteor for saying it’s cute!” Ajax laughed softly, resuming his work.

At this rate, he would surely combust with how hot his face felt. Ajax had just very clearly told him that he found it cute when he purred. The embarrassment was slowly fading away, replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling.

After a little while he relaxed and started to softly purr again. Ajax liked it, so why shouldn’t he do it? He could feel the others nimble fingers around his lower shoulder area, weaving the strands of hair back and forth expertly.

It all felt so domestic, spending his time with the ginger like this. Of course, it made him yearn for there to be more between them. He had wanted to kiss him for such a long time. For the time that he had thought they were dating, he considered taking initiative almost every time they met.

Maybe the other was just being shy? Or maybe he felt it would be rude to take initiative and kiss a god? But at the same time Zhongli was worried about pressuring him. How did you tell a god you weren’t comfortable with holding hands or kissing yet? And this logic extended to everything, from holding hands to cuddling or touching.

Turned out it was neither shyness nor worries about status; and that Zhongli was a fool.

But what they had now was nice as well. Even if he didn’t get to touch and hold the other like he wanted to, didn’t get to call him all the pet names and give him all the compliments that were accumulating in the back of his head.

“Your hair is so nice, you have taken really good care of it,” Ajax said quietly. “My sisters would be insanely jealous.”

Zhongli smiled softly. He would take any compliment he could get from him. “Thank you. I didn’t care much about it during the archon war, seeing as my priorities were set on surviving. But afterwards, I had a bit more time to focus on vanity. Dragons are vain creatures at heart,” he replied with a chuckle.

“Is that why you were so mad about the slime stuck to your scales after collecting these parasites?” the fatuus asked amusedly.

“Mhm, getting them back to being shiny was really annoying. And our hair, scales and horns are our pride.” The god revealed.

“Ah, so of course you’ll make sure they always look good. I like the ornaments on your horns. Are they just decorative or do they serve a purpose?” Ajax asked curiously.

Zhongli felt a soft flutter in his chest at how casually the other man was talking about these things, completely unbothered. As if it was the most normal thing that he had horns and scales.

“They do. My horns are sharp and pointed at the ends. The ornaments serve as a guard of sorts, so I don’t accidentally damage things or hurt people with them. I do have a few different ones, with different decorations on them and different materials and colours… I used to pair them fitting to my attire, sometimes every day. Nowadays I don’t do it as much anymore, considering I spend most of my time in my mortal form.”

Ajax hummed in understanding. “Oh, that makes sense. So you can just take them off, they’re not stuck there?”

Zhongli opened his eyes and reached up, tracing his fingers along the shape of one of his horns until he could feel the metal of the ornament. Carefully, he slid it off the horn, then turned a little to the back, showing the ornament. “It does fit tightly enough not to fall off easily. It’s like wearing a ring on your finger, you want it tight enough so you don’t lose it, but still able to slide it off without trouble.”

“And it doesn’t scratch your horns?”

The brunette chuckled. “No. There isn’t a metal strong enough to put a scratch in dragon horns. I have many different designs, some are solid metal like this pair, others are made more from metal wiring with just the end part being solid. There once was a jeweller who made a very beautiful design for me as a gift. I ended up commissioning him to do several more, some of them are made so delicately, they look like tattled lace.”

“That sounds like masterful work, making metal look like lace. Ah, wait, let me – “ Ajax quickly took the metal guard out of his hand when Zhongli moved to put it back. Very carefully, the other slid it over the sharp, pointed end of the horn.

“Uhm. Sorry, I thought it would probably be easier for me, since I can see your horn, and you can’t… But I’m being dumb, you’ve done this blindly for millennia, so you wouldn’t need me to help…” Ajax said softly, sounding sheepish, taking up his braiding work again.

Zhongli smiled to himself, his heart fluttering at how there had been zero hesitation to take it and touch his horn to slide it in place.

“Not dumb at all. I appreciate it, thank you. I have some that have no ornaments on them, that look the same all around, those I can do blindly. But pairs like these, with ornaments, I usually put on in front of the mirror. So I can make sure they are attached the same way and not uneven or even the wrong way around.”

“Oh. I put it on perfectly even, don’t worry!” Ajax said quickly.

“I wasn’t,” the god replied easily. He knew Ajax well enough at this point, to know that the other would make sure they looked even and to correct the position if necessary.

Ajax kept going with braiding, he could feel him working towards his lower back now, his hand every so often brushing against him. “Not getting tired yet? You can just stop if it gets too much.”

“Nah. Not tired yet, and not stopping until I’m done. I’m like, halfway done after all. Your hair is really… wow.” Ajax chuckled quietly.

“I know, it’s a lot. That’s why I said you can stop. You… you don’t have to do this. I know how annoying it is to take care of. I just… I don’t know, I still never wanted to cut it shorter. I don’t know what keeps me from doing it. Maybe I should just get it over with, even if it feels wrong.”

“Don’t you dare!” Ajax burst out immediately, sounding desperate. Immediately after, Zhongli could hear a slapping noise. He turned his head back as much as he could, seeing the fatuus out of the corner of his eye. He had slapped his hand over his mouth, holding onto his braid with the other, looking at him with wide, terrified eyes.

“I-I am so sorry, that was completely out of line! I don’t know why I said that, it’s none of my business, if you want to shave it all off, that’s absolutely none of my business!” The ginger quickly exclaimed, muffled behind his hand, ducking his head.

Zhongli could feel his heart constrict painfully at seeing him like that, with a terrified expression on his face. Was he scared of him after all? Scared what he might do if he said something like this? He had started to think that Ajax saw him as a person by now, but did he still see him as a god, an archon, first and foremost?

Now that he thought about it, just a little earlier he did say something similar. When he called his purr cute, he had asked him not to strike him down. Did the fatuus really believe that he would do this? After everything he told him, tried to convey to him that he was precious to him?

He turned around, not quite knowing what to do. Should he just put up all of his transformations again, maybe it would be easier for Ajax after all? Should he say something, try to talk this out? Should he get up and give him some space?

“I’m really, really sorry,” Ajax said quietly behind him.

“Don’t be. It’s me who has to apologise,” Zhongli said, his throat feeling tight.

“Huh? Why?”

Zhongli took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts. “Because no matter what I do, or say, I am still me. And I guess, being me… No matter how often I say that you’re important to me and that we’re friends, there is still something in you that sees me as a god first, and as a person second.

A part of you that’s overly aware of what I can do, if I have to. I told you things I did because I felt like doing them. And I guess telling someone they are important to you and that they are your best friend means very little from someone like me, who had to kill friends in the past.”

“That’s not true!” Ajax said sharply, sounding desperate. “That’s not – I wasn’t even worried about offending you because you’re a god! I didn’t want you to be mad at me because you’re the only friend I made in over twenty years. The only friend I have. The only person I can talk to and feel remotely like a normal person. That I can talk to even about the abyss or my foul legacy, that doesn’t think I’ve gone mental and doesn’t believe me.”

The fatuus sighed softly and Zhongli could feel he was slowly starting to braid again. “I… Ugh, this is so embarrassing. I’m used to being used by people, Zhongli. Used and discarded when I’ve fulfilled my purpose. And I’m also used to being pushed away, losing almost everyone even when I thought they cared about me. For the ones that are still around, I need to omit so much of the truth so they won’t leave me as well.

That’s what this is. Fear of abandonment. Fear of being lonely again. Of having no one again. That’s why I don’t want you to get mad or upset with me, that’s what I’m scared of when I think I might have teased a little much or spoken about something that is none of my business. I don’t know how to make friends or how to keep them. So I’m scared of saying something wrong, screwing everything up… causing you to leave me as well.”

Chapter Text

Ajax‘ heart was beating erratically in his chest. He never wanted to admit this out loud, but he had known that he had to. He had to voice these things, else Zhongli wouldn’t know. And how would he be able to understand the way Ajax behaved or spoke at times, if he didn’t understand the force driving Ajax?

For so long, he felt unwanted and unneeded. When what he craved was the opposite. Being wanted, needed. Belonging. With someone, something. That’s why he clung onto his status as a fatuus and as a harbinger. If he didn’t have anything else, didn’t belong anywhere else… He belonged there. Even if he didn’t truly feel like it, but at least he had a purpose there. He was useful as her majesty’s blade.

Zhongli had been the first time someone wanted to spend time with him, without using him. Well, he did end up paying all the time but money was an afterthought for him. It hadn’t been his own money anyways, it all had been “mission expenses” covered by Pantalone.

But for the first time since he was a child, he had made a friend. Someone who liked his company. Who he could be honest with, where he didn’t have to hold back on his truths. Someone who didn’t see him as either crazy or a monster. Or both. Zhongli took him seriously, listened to him and understood him.

So he didn’t know what to do if he lost him. Spending so much time with him felt good. For the first time in a very long time, he felt almost normal. The restless, manic energy that usually built up inside him and caused him to go out on a bloody rampage was quiet around the god. He made him feel relaxed and calm.

And while they were getting closer, getting to know each other better, there was still a delicate line somewhere. And Ajax was afraid of crossing that line, crossing the boundaries the adeptus had in place. How far could he go with such things without offending him? Light-hearted jokes seemed to be fine so far, but did not wanting him to cut his hair cross a boundary? Or well, just expressing his displeasure about it, not that he actually could keep Zhongli from doing it.

He really didn’t want him to cut it. It was beautiful and made him look every bit the divine being that he was. It was so, so long and luscious, thick and healthy. It felt soft and pleasant between his fingers. Ajax had already liked the longer hair Zhongli had in his mortal form, but this? This was much better.

The entirety of his hair was long, save for the bangs and a few shorter strands framing his face. Not just a ponytail sized part in the back as in his mortal form. And it was so much longer, stopping just a hand’s breadth above his knees.

Slowly, he took up braiding again. Zhongli moved a little bit, sitting more sideways, as much leeway as the braid would give with how long it already was.

“Is this fine, can you still braid like this?” He asked quietly.

Ajax nodded, it wasn’t a problem, he was down far enough that the other moving didn’t disturb him.

“Good,” the other said, “Because I felt it would be better if we can actually look at each other. I… I think I understand now. Well, a little better, at least. This entire time I was scared of your expectations of me, seeing you know that I am a god. But I also was scared that you would hold back because you know that. That you wouldn’t speak to me as you would to someone else, someone normal. Because I want you to treat me like a normal person.”

The fatuus took a breath, feeling his heart beat hard in his chest. “And I was scared that if I did that, that you might think… You know. ‘How dare he, I may no longer be an archon, but I’m still a god’. Because obviously there’s still a difference in status. So I was scared that what I said offended you, and that if that keeps happening, that you won’t want to be my friend anymore.” He admitted, keeping his eyes focused on the braid.

“I will always want to be your friend, Ajax. I will never leave. One day you’ll probably be very tired of me and wish I’d finally leave you alone. When that day comes, of course, you can tell me and I will do so. But until then, you won’t easily get rid of me. Especially not over such things. I promise you, I appreciate it when you talk to me like this. Without holding yourself back. If I’d ever think you went too far, I’d just be honest with you and tell you. And I’d like that to happen in return as well, if I ever go to far for you.”

When Ajax looked up, Zhongli was looking at him with a soft, gentle expression. They were so close like this, their knees brushing against each other with how they were sitting on the bed, both with their legs crossed. Slowly, the god moved his hand and put it on Ajax’ knee, lightly squeezing it.

“But I know that it’s also my fault as well. Considering as I have used you just like others did. I regret it tremendously, and don’t think that I no longer feel guilty about doing that. If I had known I would get to meet you, someone who I feel such a connection to…. I would have done everything differently, trust me. I swore to myself that I would never again cause you such hurt.

As much as I want to, I can’t undo my mistakes. As you said this afternoon, all I can do is strive to do better. Try to be a good friend, someone that you can confide in if you want to. Someone where you don’t have to pretend to be someone you aren’t. And someone who can promise you that he won’t leave you.”

Ajax felt like combusting on the spot. Did Zhongli really mean this? Would he really stay by his side? And he still felt bad about the whole retirement plan thing, even when they had already talked it out and resolved it? “You still feel bad about that?”

“Of course I do. Especially hearing that it’s a repeated pattern for you. I wish I’d never come up with this stupid plan, but at the same time it’s this plan that let us meet…” The god admitted quietly. He was watching him weave the strands of hair together expertly.

“I just wish you would have told me what was going on. But I understand that your contract with her majesty prevented you from telling me. You… you would have told me else, right?” Ajax asked carefully.

“Absolutely. I mean admittedly, probably not right from the start. But when we started getting closer, becoming friends. When you became important to me, not as someone who was there to help put my plan into action, but as someone in my personal life. I… I have no excuses other than that it was all agreed upon long before we met. But I regret it all tremendously, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Ajax sighed, shrugging lightly. “I mean I knew what I came here for. I just wasn’t told my actual role in this play. Not by her majesty either, so she deceived me as well. Admittedly, I felt… feel… betrayed by her. Of course she’s my queen and I won’t question her motives but still… I thought she would trust her vanguard a little more. You, at least, apologized to me. Repeatedly, at this point. She never did and never will.

And… And I thought I’d made a friend for once in my life. So when I found out about the whole plan, I was just so upset. I think the worst thing was that I felt like such an idiot, thinking someone like you would want to be my friend. As dumb as it sounds, but it felt like my years in school all over again. Someone would pretend they want to be my friend, only to humiliate me in front of others later.”

Zhongli grimaced, looking pained. “I wish I could take all of this pain off you. You didn’t deserve to go through any of these things. I can only fathom how difficult your life has been all these years.”

The fatuus blinked at him for a moment. He wasn’t used to being told things like this, wasn’t used to someone having empathy for him. It was such a novel feeling, warming his insides and melting the layers of ice he’d finely crafted around his heart. As if Zhongli hadn’t already chipped away at it. He could feel the thick coat of ice becoming thinner every day he spent with the adeptus, with every time he felt liked and understood.

And the brunette had no idea what he was doing. All these years he had shrouded his heart in the icy cold, pretended to rid himself of his humanity in order to be the tsaritsa’s loyal soldier. How was it possible that of all the people in the world, it was a god who made him feel like a normal person? Who acknowledged the hurt he experienced and was deeply sorry for adding onto it.

“I-I mean it was okay. I managed,” he croaked, his throat feeling dry.

“Yes, but that does not mean it was good. But you persevered. You survived. I’m proud of you,” Zhongli said gently, his eyes a warm, warm gold. Melting away layers and layers of ice.

Ajax needed a moment to compose himself after what Zhongli said. He felt like crying, but he didn’t want the god to see that, so he tried to calm himself down. The other didn’t seem to mind, just kept carefully watching him, as if to make sure that he was fine. 

“Thank you… So… so you’re not mad because I said that earlier? It’s just… Your hair is very pretty. It’d be a pity to cut it. “ Ajax admitted, looking up to meet the golden gaze.

“Of course I’m not mad. I want you to speak freely, without being worried about what I might think. I don’t want you to think about a difference in a stupid status. I don’t want you to be worried about what to say just because I’m a god. I’m just as unpractised talking to a friend, I also often wonder if I’ve just embarrassed myself with what I said. Or if you might get upset by something I’ve asked.” Zhongli said with a gentle smile, squeezing his knee again.

He couldn’t help but smile as well. Why was it so easy to talk about these things with the adeptus? It seemed like any time he voiced any kind of worry, the other understood and reassured him. Were they really so similar, that it was so easy for Zhongli to understand?

The god reached over with his free hand, cupping the gingers cheek and looked at him seriously. “I will never abandon you, I promise. I will be by your side as long as you want me around.”

Ajax couldn’t resist moving towards the warm hand, lightly nestling against it. He could feel the heat shoot into his face, he just hoped it wasn’t too obvious. “Considering that I’m technically immortal, that’s going to be a very long time. I don’t think I ever won’t want you around.”

“That’s fine. I have all the time in the world for you.”

He could feel that he was reaching the end of Zhongli’s hair, so his one hand reached for the hair-tie the god had brought him – a piece of orange silk ribbon. Carefully, he tied off the braid and decided to tie the ribbon into a small bow. He looked over the braid again, making sure it looked good. For a second he wondered if he should have gone with a normal braid instead of a fishtail braid, but he hoped Zhongli would like it.

“Done already? You’re so quick, when I do it myself I always take ages. I’m so old and still don’t manage to make it evenly when I do it on my own…” Zhongli mused, then looked at the braid.

“Told you I’m used to doing this for my sister. Doing it early in the morning before school, you learn how to do it fast and neat,” Ajax chuckled.

“Oh,” Zhongli breathed, looking closely at the lower part of the braid falling over his shoulder.

“I-I can redo it if you don’t like it.” The fatuus quickly assured.

“No, no. I love it. I’ve never seen such a braiding pattern before, it’s beautiful. So intricate. How fascinating,” the god said softly, running his fingers along the braid with wonder.

“We call it fishtail braid. I’m glad you like it. And, well. I can do your hair for you whenever you like. I actually quite enjoy it, I’ve always found it relaxing doing my sisters hair.”

The god smiled warmly, making Ajax’ heart flutter softly in his chest. “Thank you very much, I’d like that, if it’s no hassle for you. It feels really comfortable and looks amazing.”

“It really isn’t. As I said, I like doing it. And it’s the least I can do after you want to help me with my pains. I think the oils are helping, my shoulder already feels a little better. It… it would be nice if they help, so far I just always endured it. Nobody even really knows about it, except you. Not like anyone in the fatui would care, save for maybe Katya.”

“Not even your family knows?” The brunette asked softly, reaching for the towel that he had used to wipe his hand after applying the oil on Ajax’ skin. Carefully, he took his hands and started to wipe off the glaze lily oil.

Ajax felt warm at the gesture, letting his hands be held and gently wiped clean from the pleasant smelling oil. He shook his head. “I never told them. I felt like there wasn’t a point. Most of my scars are from my time in the abyss, which isn’t something I can talk about with them. The others are from my time in the fatui, which we also don’t really talk about. We don’t really speak about my work. They don’t even know I’m a harbinger. Just that I’m in the fatui and that I have a position that allows me certain privileges. Which could be any position above the lower few ranks.”

“They don’t know about a lot of you it seems,” Zhongli said, still diligently cleaning his hands.

Ajax sighed and shrugged. It was what it was. “It’s for the better. They don’t understand certain things. Even as an adult, if I went up to my parents or my older siblings and wanted to explain to them what happened to me… They still wouldn’t believe me. Maybe one day they will, when they realize I don’t get older. Maybe then they’ll think to themselves that I didn’t lie or wasn’t crazy after all.”

“That’s sad though. I feel like parents should be someone that you can confide in about anything you want. People who are there for you, even when you’re already an adult. I mean of course you have to grow up and be independent, but my parents had always made clear that even once I would be an adult, that I’d always be able to ask them for guidance or comfort still.” The brunette said softly, putting the towel on the nightstand.

“That’s nice. I mean my parents did that too, they are like that with my other siblings. But well. I’m the odd one out, the one that’s gone mental. If I don’t want them to think I’m having ‘another episode’, I can’t talk to them about certain things. And I just prefer them not to know too many details about my work.” Ajax noticed that his hands were feeling nice and soft, likely from the oil. Didn’t Zhongli mention it was good for hair and skin?

“I hope you’ll be able to properly talk to them one day. Who knows, people change. And humans can change quite quickly sometimes, I’ve noticed,” Zhongli said, looking thoughtful.

The fatuus smiled, nodding solemnly. He didn’t believe it would ever happen, his parents had never understood after all. So what would make them change, what in the world would ever make them reconsider their viewpoint of him having gone insane while being lost in the forest for a mere three days.

They didn’t believe him about the abyss, they thought it was nothing more than a paranoid child’s imagination. They didn’t believe that he’d died over and over again. Neither his mother nor father, nor his older siblings had ever taken seriously anything he’d said. And he never told Tonia. She didn’t need to know her brother was a monster. She would find out soon enough that he no longer aged.

He could feel his hands being gently squeezed, and when he looked down he could see Zhongli’s hands around his own. The other man squeezed again, looking at him reassuringly. “Whatever happens, I will be here for you. Always, I promise you.”

Ajax swallowed hard, smiling at the other man. Oh Celestia, how much he loved him. Even more, every single day. The more time they spent together, the more he learnt about him. After everything he did, Zhongli was still such a gentle and caring soul at his core. And he always said he didn’t inherit anything from his qilin side, that clearly wasn’t true.

The adeptus may not see it himself, but Ajax could see it clear as day. The way he treated him, as if he was something precious, wasn’t only a dragon possessive of his best friend. No, it definitely was the calm, gentle qilin shining through. Granting him patience and empathy far beyond anything that Ajax had experienced in his life so far.

Making him loved, even when he knew that Zhongli would never love him romantically. But you could love friends too, after all, right? It was just a different kind of love. And he’d be more than happy to bask in whatever he could get.

“Thank you. I will be here for you too, always.” He said, even if he knew that a promise like this was nothing short of treason to his goddess. But he couldn’t bring himself to care at this moment, not when he was here with the man he loved.

The man that made him forget about the bad things, made him feel no longer miserable. The calming remedy against the bloodthirsty abyss monster inside him. The man that made him feel like he was worth more than what he could be of use as a weapon.

A man that made him feel a dangerous love.

Chapter Text

When Zhongli woke up the next morning, before he even opened his eyes, he noticed that he felt warm and comfortable. Which were two things very high up on a dragon’s priority list. So noticing that, his mood was already very good. And there was a gentle, herbal scent. Ah, the oils. Right.

Slowly, he realized that he was holding onto the warmth, feeling it pressed against his chest and pretty much his whole body. He could nuzzle against the warmth, something tickling his face. He held onto it a bit tighter, not really wanting to get up with how comfortable he was. He huffed softly, burying his face deeper into the warmth.

There was a soft giggle. “Pffffffff Zhongli, that tickles!”

Lazily, he opened his eyes and all he could see was pale skin and red hair. Belatedly, he realized that he was spooning Ajax from behind, having nuzzled his face into his nape and hair. His arms were wound around the others waist, pressing their bodies together. They were slotted against each other from head to toe.

The god could feel his heart starting to pound in his chest, his cheeks getting hot with embarrassment. Not that he disliked this sleeping position, not at all. But by Celestia, could he not embarrass himself in front of Ajax for once? Or well, in this particular case, behind Ajax.

“Are you awake now?” The ginger asked amusedly.

“…I am. My apologies.” He muttered into his skin, not letting go immediately. Could he just die back here? Not having to face the other man again after he just spent who knew how long pressed into his back, holding onto him firmly.

Another soft laugh. He loved it when Ajax laughed like this. Sounding soft and happy. Did he make him happy, at least sometimes? Even if he didn’t love him? He hoped so. Ah, holding him felt so nice. They felt perfect like this, like two pieces of a puzzle that slotted together perfectly. But this wasn’t his to have. One day, another man or woman would have this privilege. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever felt jealous before in his life.

“It’s fine. I told you I don’t mind. You seemed to be very comfortable. And admittedly, I’m as well.” Ajax said, yawning quietly.

Zhongli felt relief at this, happy to bask in the warmth and closeness some more. “How long have you been awake?”

The ginger hummed. “Not long. A few minutes, five at most I think?”

He could feel how the others hand brushed over his own, one fingertip tracing over one of his fingers, over the knuckles, following the line of the connected bone up to the wrist. Moving along the wrist a little, drawing down a line along the next bone, over the knuckle, over his finger. Back down the same way to the wrist, moving along it, repeating this pattern for every single finger.

When he was done, he started again. It was pleasant, sending gentle shivers over his arm. Being touched by the other man was always nice.

“I always thought that you have nice hands,” Ajax said absentmindedly. “Big hands with long, slender fingers. In Snezhnaya we call that ‘Pianist’s hands’. Because people say it’s easier to play piano with hands like that. I wouldn’t know, I never tried playing, mine are a bit smaller…”

Zhongli chuckled softly. “Thanks? I have never tried either, even though I can play a few other instruments.”

“You can? Of course you can, you can do everything.” Ajax huffed softly, sounding amused.

“I tried a few different ones. I can play a few, but not all that good. I am quite good at playing Guzheng and Erhu, I’ve practiced those the most. I’ve had a lot of time, after all. If you’re careful, you’ll understand one day. In a few hundred years, maybe. If you have enough time and practice enough, you can get good at almost anything.”

“Mhm, maybe one day I will. Will you play for me sometime?” The ginger asked, still tracing over his fingers.

Zhongli nodded into his nape. “Of course.”

“Awesome. So, what is your plan for today?”

“Haven’t really thought about anything past breakfast. What’s yours?” Zhongli muttered, the thought of getting up and facing the – compared to Ajax’s body heat – cold world didn’t seem all that appealing.

The others hand came to rest on his own. “Hm, I have to check in with Katya today. I thought I could do that in the morning, after breakfast. See if there’s anything that needs my attention, if yes get it done straight away. And well, I thought, I don’t know… If you want, if it’s fine, I could…” The rest was inaudible, even with Zhongli’s draconic sense of hearing.

“Hmmm? I didn’t get that last part, sorry,” he coaxed.

“I-I said I could, if you want, if I’m not being a bother… I could come back when I’m done with work. Of course I can understand if you don’t want me to! That’s completely fine. I’ve been here for two nights already, so I completely understand if you want some alone time. Or well, time with Guizhong. Or just, you know, your freedom back to do as you please. I- Never mind, I shouldn’t have mentioned it! You must think I’ve been raised in a barn with manners like that, asking to – What the?!”

Zhongli had tried to get his attention a few times. Saying his name repeatedly while he was working himself up hadn’t yielded a result. Neither had tightening his hold or nudging against his sides. With limited options – and limited brain function, thanks to the others body right next to him – he’d come up with a new idea.

And lightly bit his shoulder.

Which was conveniently right next to the gods face and thanks to the robe he wore, which was slightly askew, bare. Of course he was careful not to bite hard enough to leave any marks or actually hurt him with his fangs. Just enough that the other felt it.

He couldn’t help but feel pleased, because this was something he’d wanted to do ever since seeing the trail of freckles on the others shoulder. If only his brain wasn’t catching up with him a little belatedly, reminding him that this might be a tiny bit difficult to explain.

“Sorry, I tried to get your attention but you didn’t react to anything,” he quickly explained.

“D-Did you just bite me?” Ajax asked, voice a little higher pitched than usually.

“It didn’t hurt, did it? I did my best not to bite hard.”

“It didn’t… Wait, is your tongue- ?”

“What?” Zhongli asked, chuckling about the others reaction, while at the same time being glad that he wasn’t mad about the bite.

“I could feel it briefly! But I mean-“ Ajax was moving, turning around in his arms, much to his dismay. But oh well, at least he was still in his arms. He just rotated, so they could look at each other. “Show me!”

The adeptus laughed, the others face being bright red. “I do indeed have a tongue, just like humans do. Marvellous things, tongues,” he said teasingly. “They taste things. Lick things. Help with talking. I don’t think I’ve accidentally licked you, did I?”

Ajax was turning an even darker shade of red right in front of him. Oh, how cute he looked.

“I know that you have a tongue, but it’s not a human tongue!”

“I am not a human, so by default it’s not a human tongue,” he replied, still teasing. He knew exactly what the other meant, but seeing him like this was just too much fun.

The fatuus groaned, covering his face with his hands. “You know what I mean! You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Of course I do. But your reactions are just too funny, I’m sorry.”

“You owe me for making fun at my expense!” The other man said, removing the hands from his face, the redness slowly fading.

Zhongli laughed and stuck out his tongue, Ajax’ eyes going wide when he saw it. “It really is forked!”

The god nodded, closing his mouth again. “Dragon tongues are like that, yes.”

“Can you move the tips? Like, independently?” The fatuus asked curiously.

He chuckled fondly, sticking his tongue out a bit again, demonstrating the movement range of his tongue tips by crossing them over each other and moving them to opposite sides, then up and down.

“That is pretty cool,” the ginger said softly, forgetting his earlier embarrassment.

It made Zhongli feel warm, that the other didn’t seem to think it was gross or weird. He was aware his tongue was very different than a human one after all. It seemed whatever oddity Ajax found out about him, he found it interesting.

He smiled at the younger man, letting his hand brush against his back. “To come back to what you were saying before I had to snap you out of it… You needn’t worry about anything. I would like it very much if you came back when you’re done with work, if you want to.”

“Really? I’m not… overstaying my welcome?” Ajax’s hands were in between their bodies, now came to rest against the gods chest.

“Overstaying your welcome implies I’d want you gone at some point. For all I care, you can stay here for the next year. The next fifty. Longer than that. For as long as you like. I told you, I was used to being alone all the time. It was a lonely life. So I enjoy having you around and spending time with you. It’s nicer having someone around.” He admitted.

For him, there was almost nothing nicer than the thought that Ajax would come back to him later. That they would eat together again, talk and spend more time together, sleep like this again… Even if they weren’t a couple, even if Ajax didn’t love him. This was the next best thing and an incredible privilege.

Being this close to him felt so good in so many different ways. It soothed the aches of his soul. While he had been lonely, he had felt so, so incredibly old. Even if he knew that relative to his species’ aging process, he wasn’t. But he was lonely and tired. But spending time with the ginger made him feel young again. It brought back a joy of life that he hadn’t felt since before the archon war.

And he slowly started to realize that he had made himself old. With the guilt and expectations, holding himself to near impossible standards of absolute perfection. When had he become like that? Sometime while ruling his people, he was aware of that.

But when exactly had he started to keep himself in such an iron grip that even a laugh was too much emotion shown? He used to love laughing with his friends when he was growing up. He had become rigid and stiff like stone. When as a young adeptus, he had adapted to anything, determined to shape the world around him just as much as it shaped him.

“Oh. Good. Good. Then I’ll come back when I’m done with work. I have no idea how long it’ll take though.”

“That’s fine. I’ll just count you in for lunch if you’re not back before then, and if you’re not back  in time for lunch then there’s leftovers if you want. Same with dinner.” Zhongli said gently.

“Are you sure? Isn’t that a huge hassle for you? I can just go and take something from Wanmin with me, then you don’t have to.” Ajax replied, looking at him unsure.

Zhongli knew this look by now, he had it whenever he was worried about being a bother. Which he wasn’t, not ever. Not to him. “Don’t worry about it. I promise, it’s fine.”

“You’re so sweet. And you always say you got nothing from your qilin side. Or maybe that’s the possessive dragon,” Ajax muttered, making the gods heart flutter.

The god chuckled. “Thank you.”

“We should get up, shouldn’t we?” Ajax asked with a sigh, rolling over when the adeptus removed his arms from around him.

They both disappeared to the opposing bathrooms. Zhongli carefully pinned his braid up with a hair stick, making sure not to damage the braid, just getting it out of the way. It had held up beautifully over the night, and he had no intention of undoing it.

Dragons took great pride in their horns, scales and hair. Grooming each other was a show of trust and affection. So naturally, he would be proud of wearing his hair the way his chosen one did it for him. Wearing his hair like this made him feel fluttery inside.

He washed himself, careful to not get his hair wet, and then removed the hair stick that held the braid curled into a bun at the back of his head. He checked over the braid again, making sure the stick hadn’t accidentally pulled anything loose.

Since he had no plans of going out today except if anyone would come and ask for him, he decided on clothes that were a little more casual than he had become used to. Sleek, black pants and a simple beige shirt. When buttoning it up, he hesitated for a moment, hands hovering over the top buttons.

He was used to buttoning his shirts all the way up. Usually, he would wear a tie, then put on a vest and his coat. But he wasn’t wearing his usual outfit today. And had he not decided that he was tired of how stiff he had become? He was old relative to humans. But he wasn’t old at all relative to dragons.

So now that he was retired from the position that made him act much older than he was, shouldn’t he try and enjoy what was left of his youth? Finally act his age a little more instead of acting like an elderly man? Even director Hu always made fun of him for acting like an old man.

With a deep breath, he decided to leave the two top buttons open. He did feel a little bit unsure about it. What if Ajax thought he was trying to imitate him? What if it didn’t suit him, or if it seemed silly of him to not button it all the way up? But he figured this was a normal reaction to changing things up from how he was used to doing them for a while now.

When he left the bathroom, Ajax wasn’t yet done, so he sat down in front of the small, but intricately carved vanity where he kept all things makeup, hair and jewellery. He carefully took the small black porcelain container and a fine brush. With a single steady, practiced swipe of the brush, he drew the eyeliner on one side.

He could hear Ajax’ steps approaching, could see him watching him from the corner of his eye as he drew on the other side. Moving his head side to side, he made sure the eyeliner was even.

“Happy with it?” Ajax asked with an audible smile.

“I think so. I do this every day, yet I still get it wonky on some days. But it seems fine,” Zhongli replied, moving his head again for a final check. He reached for his feathered earring, attaching it.

“You were the first man I ever saw that wears eyeliner. It’s not something we do in Snezhnaya. Makeup is pretty much a woman’s thing. I’d sometimes borrow my sisters’, to cover my freckles up. But not eyeliner or anything like that.”

“Do you think it’s effeminate? Red eyeliner used to be most popular together with black. There are many meanings associated with it, some sources say it was meant to show bravery for warriors. Others say it’s to show luck, joy and prosperity. Others say it’s about vitality and fertility.” Zhongli replied, cleaning his brush.

Ajax made a soft noise. “I wouldn’t say it’s effeminate. Clearly in Liyue, it’s not a strictly feminine thing. And it does look quite good. Though I haven’t seen you without it, considering in the mornings there’s usually still some there, even if it’s a little smudged.”

Zhongli hummed. “Would you like to try it?”

The fatuus looked at him for a moment, clearly surprised. “Sure, why not. If it looks awful, I can wipe it off, right?”

“Of course,” the adeptus said, reaching for an unused brush. “Come, can you kneel in front of me?”

Ajax did not hesitate, kneeling down in front of where he was sitting. Zhongli’s heart beat faster, happy to share something new with him. He carefully cradled his face with one hand to keep him steady, drawing the eyeliner on with his other hand. Then, he quickly added the other side.

His heart skipped a beat when the ginger looked up at him, blue eyes rimmed in red, their colour enhanced tenfold. And considering the red eyeliner was something that he typically wore, that not that many other people in Liyue did anymore at this point, seeing Ajax wear it made the dragon inside him preen.

The man he loved, wearing something that was typical for him. Almost as if he was wearing a piece of his clothing. A subtle claim. It wasn’t of course, considering Ajax didn’t love him. But for a moment the thought of someone recognizing it as something typical for Zhongli and wondering if it meant that they were together, made him feel happy and satisfied.

“Does it look bad?” Ajax asked, still kneeling in front of him, focused on him.

“Not at all, I think it looks great on you. But more importantly, you have to decide for yourself,” Zhongli answered gently, guiding him in front of the mirror.

For a moment, Ajax looked at himself, angling his face. He grimaced, which made the adeptus worry. “You don’t like it,” he said, trying to conceal that it made him a little sad.

“Actually, I do. Sorry, I made a face, didn’t I? That’s… I always look at myself like that. Truth be told, anytime I look at my face in a mirror, I wish those cursed freckles were gone. I don’t think I’m extraordinarily attractive, but I think my face would be fine if it wasn’t for them.”

“That’s not true,” Zhongli said firmly.

Ajax laughed, still grimacing. “Ouch, you’re really not holding back, huh? I know we said no more lies, but you don’t have to take it that seriously. But I guess sometimes it’s good when others tell you how they see you. Taking that ego down a notch.”

Zhongli furrowed his brows. “I wasn’t implying that you are unattractive, Ajax. I was trying to say that your freckles don’t make you look any worse. I do not think your face would look better without them. I notice the days when you covered them up. Of course it’s different, but I can’t say that I personally find those days to be an enhancement.

I like your freckles. They’re something special that not everybody has. But what I think doesn’t matter, I’m aware of that. It’s a matter of what you prefer and how you feel comfortable.”

“Yeah, yeah, now you’re backpedalling huh? So you want to say I’m attractive after all?” Ajax said in a silly voice, grinning teasingly.

“As I said, I never said you’re unattractive,” the god insisted, trying his best not to feel embarrassed. It didn’t necessarily mean to give away his feelings, right? People just saw each other as attractive or not. And he didn’t want Ajax to think of himself as unattractive.

The fatuus blinked up at him, still so close. “Wait, you really don’t think so?”

“Ajax, I’m almost 7000 years old. Can you imagine how many people I have seen in my lifetime? I have a pretty good gauge of people that look above average and people that look below average. Though I do not like to sort people like this, as I think that everyone has beauty in their own way. And beauty is not an objective thing. As you said, your classmates used to call your freckles ugly. I see them the opposite way.

Or I myself. For every person that has honestly complimented me in my life – and I say honestly, because many of them have been empty ones, trying to gain a favour from a god – I heard at least twenty others say that they think I look terrifying.”

The ginger furrowed his brows, looking worried. For a moment, Zhongli was scared that he had given too much away. Had he been able to read enough into everything he said to come to the conclusion that he was in love with him? Please, no.

Spending time with Ajax was good for him. And selfishly, he wanted to keep doing it. If he realized that Zhongli was in love with him, he would distance himself. After all, he was still lying to him. Not lying outright, but lying by omission. Had he become too careless about showing his affection? When Ajax took a deep breath, the god felt scared.

“You don’t look terrifying, stop with that. I’ve seen things in the abyss that I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to see. You’re not anywhere close to that.” The fatuus said gently.

“Oh, so you want to tell me I’m attractive after all?” Zhongli asked, trying to copy the silly, teasing voice Ajax had used a little earlier.

Ajax only huffed. “You’re a god. That’s like asking if water is wet.”

Chapter Text

„Good morning~!“ The door of Zhonglis bedroom swung open, revealing an apparently very well rested Guizhong. The pale grey robe she’d worn yesterday when they found her in the ruins had been replaced by a midnight blue one with duck egg blue trims and swirls.

“I heard you two talk and hoped you were dressed and ready and everything. I’ve been up for a few hours already, so I thought I’d fetch you so we can have breakfast,” she said cheerily, grinning at them.

“Good morning. We just finished getting ready, we were about to head to the kitchen,” Zhongli said next to him.

“Good morning,” Ajax quickly said, not wanting to sound rude. His mother had taught him manners after all.

“Perfect. Ah, Zhongli, could I borrow something for my hair from you? It keeps getting in the way, and I’ve not recuperated enough to craft something from dust. And thank you for letting me borrow some robes. Much better than the awful one that I managed to make with the last of my strength.”

Zhongli opened one of the many drawers of the vanity, revealing it to be filled with different types of hair accessories. Varying from very simple hair needles and silken hair ties to more ornamental hairpins.

“Of course, you can take a few if you want.” He said gently, motioning her to come over with one hand.

Ajax stepped aside a bit, giving her space to look at the contents of the drawer, carefully picking out two simple hair needles and two hair ties. When she straightened her back again, she looked at Zhongli, tilting her head slightly.

“Oh, I haven’t seen you like this in a long time! And your hair, how pretty!” She cooed softly, leaning over a little to look at it more closely.

“It is, isn’t it? Childe did it for me.” Zhongli carefully brushed his hair along the braid falling over his shoulder, smiling fondly.

Guizhong nodded, clapping her hands together. “He’s really skilled!”

“Ah, it’s nothing. I have a younger sister, I used to do her hair all the time when I was still home more often.” Ajax replied, waving his hand dismissively.

“Well, I’ll go and get breakfast started. You two can finish what you were talking about earlier, sorry for interrupting, but I didn’t want to cook with my hair all over the place!” The goddess called, already half out of the door.

“She’s sure energetic in the mornings,” Ajax laughed fondly. She reminded him of his younger brothers who were usually the same.

Zhongli next to him nodded, chuckling softly. “She is. She’s probably been up for hours already, I wouldn’t put it past her that she’s already devoured a third of my library at this hour.”

The god stood up from the small stool and Ajax couldn’t help but properly look at him. He had been so focused on Zhongli doing his eyeliner, and then getting it done himself, that he hadn’t looked at anything below his face closely.

Oh for Celestia’s sake. By the tsaritsa’s tits. How distracted had he been by Zhongli being so close to him, applying eyeliner on him while cradling his jaw, that he hadn’t noticed THAT?

He didn’t wear his usual clothes. Which wasn’t a bad thing at all, on the contrary, Zhongli looked good in anything he wore. But he was wearing a beige shirt, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, revealing his beautifully defined arms. And worst – best? – of all: the two top buttons were undone. Unobstructed view of his collarbone and a hint of his muscular chest. He hadn’t even tucked the shirt into his pants.

There was something relaxed about him looking like this, in his real body – missing the tail though, he had transformed that away – with clothes that were much more casual than the elegant outfit he usually wore.

It wasn’t fair how attractive he was. And he was slowly but surely relaxing around him more and more, at least that was it seemed like. Openly laughing, teasing him, expressing emotions. No longer a face of stone with almost unreadable micro expressions. Which made him only more attractive, because his laugh sounded and looked amazing. Or the small grins. Even better, the cocky, confident grin he’d worn during their sparring session. Sometimes, he’d look all soft and gentle, fond almost.

In the mornings, even more so, soft and relaxed, seemingly not immediately fully in control of himself, giving in to dragon instincts yearning for warmth and comfort. Ajax wasn’t able to resist him, he was only a man after all. He had his limits. And now he was showing off like this? Oh, how Ajax wanted to brush his fingers over the exposed skin. This view would haunt his thoughts for years to come. Right along with the completely shirtless one he’d gotten yesterday.

The adeptus had bitten his shoulder earlier, a pleasant jolt running through his body. He was tempted to return the sentiment by biting the smooth curve of his collarbone. But unfortunately, Zhongli had only tried to get his attention. So doing something similar without any reason to would only raise questions.

Questions that he didn’t want to answer. Confessing and getting his feelings off his chest wasn’t worth losing a friendship over. And even if it sometimes almost felt like there was something more, it was mostly just his wishful thinking.

Sure, they’d gotten very close to each other. Touching each other, cuddling, sleeping pressed against each other. But that didn’t have anything to do with mutual romantic feelings. They just both felt comfortable with each other and hadn’t been able to really cuddle with someone or be touched gently by someone.

And the compliments didn’t really mean anything either. After all, you could compliment someone without being attracted to them. And he knew for a fact, that Zhongli wasn’t attracted to him. There simply was no way the other had gone almost 7000 years without falling in love with someone. He surely had met extraordinary people.

Zhongli’s hand came up to the area Ajax was currently eyeing. Oops, had he been staring for a while? How embarrassing. Not like he hadn’t already embarrassed himself plenty in front of the god, but he had to do better. He had to make sure that the other man didn’t find out about his feelings.

“Does… does it look ridiculous? It probably does, doesn’t it? I guess I should stick to my usual attire, this was a stupid idea…” The god said quietly, looking unsure.

“It doesn’t. It looks good on you. Different, but in a good way.” Ajax smiled reassuringly. It was the truth after all, it did look good. Very different for the Zhongli that he had initially met, stiff and old-fashioned. But as he was starting to get to know him better, understand him better… Yes, this suited him well.

“Are you sure? I’m not angry if you think it looks ridiculous. It’s not really me, is it? I should probably stick to what everyone is used to from me…”

“What is this about?” Ajax asked carefully. It sounded like this wasn’t solely about two buttons.

The god shook his head lightly, waving his hands dismissively. “It’s nothing in need of concern. I have just thought about a few things, and I guess I am unsure on how to proceed. But maybe it’s better to dismiss these thoughts.”

Ajax gently took his hands, squeezing them. “You know that you can tell me if something bothers you, right?”

“I know, thank you. I… I think I need to sort my thoughts on this matter first. But maybe later. Some input from you might just be what helps me decide what to do.” Zhongli smiled at him, looking a little better. “Does it really not look odd?”

“Not at all, I promise. It’s more relaxed than what I’m used to seeing you wear, but it’s a good look.” Again, Ajax squeezed his hands and looked at him firmly. “Now come, Guizhong is waiting for us. We don’t want her to get mad, right?” He said with a laugh, gently pulling Zhongli towards the door.

He only let go of his hand when they entered the kitchen. The last thing he needed was Guizhong catching on that he was in love with Zhongli. As nice as she was, she was awfully observant as well.  He already felt like she suspected something. And he didn’t want her to sit him down and explain to him that Zhongli would never love him. He already knew, it was fine. Sure, occasionally it hurt, but overall he was fine.

“Oh, finally done? I thought you’d never come,” she said with a teasing grin, looking at them. She had put part of her hair in a bun on the back of her head, the rest of it flowing down her back.

Ajax could feel the heat in his face, hoping she didn’t catch onto it. He sat down at the counter, Zhongli right next to him, their thighs almost touching. He often didn’t eat breakfast, but Guizhong had already made it and he wouldn’t be rude and let it go to waste.

“Oh, Congee. Thank you for making breakfast,” Zhongli said, looking pleased and reaching for the teapot. He carefully filled all three cups.

“I thought it would be easy enough, even if I haven’t cooked in a long time. And I’ve been up for a while, I paid a visit to your library. I managed to get through quite a few books,” she said, filling her bowl.

“What, how fast do you read?” Ajax asked, surprised.

“She has a very good memory. I think the term that’s become popular recently is ‘photographic memory’,” Zhongli explained, motioning to Ajax to fill his bowl next when Guizhong was done.

Ajax quickly started filling his own, Guizhong chuckling softly. “I just need to briefly skim over anything to remember every detail. So it won’t be long before I can go and see the outside world.”

“Mhm. Well, you do not have to necessarily pose as a mortal. You can be honest with people, if you like, that is your own choice. I would just appreciate if you could keep my true identity out of it. I… I don’t mind if people in the harbour think of me as an adeptus, they already do from what I heard. But I don’t want them to know that I’m Morax.” Zhongli said, now filling his bowl.

“Sure, I can do that. I mean people probably won’t need to know in what particular way we know each other. Even if I tell them I’m a goddess.”

“Well, if you do say you’ve been dead since the archon war and that you’re friends with me… It pretty much immediately tells them I’m at least that old. But that shouldn’t be much of a problem. Ganyu is that old as well, even if most people don’t know that, and she lives relatively unbothered.” Zhongli said with a shrug, reaching for his spoon.

“Good. I don’t want you to get in trouble,” the goddess said softly, taking a sip of her tea.

Zhongli hummed. “I wanted to suggest that you maybe better don’t go out all by yourself first. It’d be easier if I’m around as well. I can always take over a little, or introduce you to people and establish a bit of a story. Might be easier.”

Guizhong nodded, digging into her congee. Ajax was listening to them, thinking if there was any way that he could be of help. Probably not. Zhongli had lived his whole life in Liyue, he knew everything there was to know about these lands. Ajax had only been here for a few months.

While the other two were still discussing a little, the fatuus could watch the god next to him without being noticed. He still hadn’t gotten over the two open shirt buttons. It had been so unexpected, but it really did look very good. He wondered what had bothered him earlier.

He did ask him if it looked bad, worried it might not suit him or look ridiculous. Was he insecure about wearing anything other than his regular outfit? Was that the reason why he always wore that? Ajax had always assumed that it was most likely like a work uniform for him, elegant enough to be proper in a funeral parlour.

Hadn’t he mentioned that he never really relaxed when he was at home, in case someone might come and need him? Did that mean he also always wore those clothes, not just for work? So maybe this was the first time in a while that he wore something different, apart from the robes he slept in those past days?

Surely, Zhongli didn’t really feel insecure about his looks? He had said that he thought he looked scary for humans, but that was probably just because humans weren’t used to features like that. Zhongli knew he was the definition of beauty, didn’t he? He was a god, he had to be aware of it.

For someone that attractive, clothes would probably not matter much, would they? He would always look good after all, no matter what exactly he wore. And he had looked so happy about the braid, it had made him feel so warm.

He loved these little domestic moments he got to experience with Zhongli. Of course, they made him yearn for love more as well, but they also helped with his yearning. A double edged sword, he guessed. But he’d be damned if he didn’t enjoy it as much as he could.

Because one day he would have to go back to Snezhnaya. And he didn’t know if he’d be able to ever come back to Liyue, keep in contact with Zhongli. Sure, maybe the god would agree to stay in contact via letters. But that wasn’t the same. What if that would destroy their friendship, what if it would just fizzle out over time and then at some point, there would be no letter coming back from Liyue for him?

Ajax could feel a lump in his throat at the thought. Zhongli had promised him he’d be always there. But what if they weren’t able to meet each other regularly anymore? Surely at some point, the adeptus would get tired of writing letters.

And it wasn’t like Ajax would be able to be honest in his letters, the fatui liked to keep their people in check, opening letters frequently before sending them to their intended receiver. Making sure nobody was plotting anything that could harm her majesty and her plans.

Suddenly, there was a terrifying thought at the back of Ajax’ brain.

If it wasn’t for my family, I wouldn’t go back anymore. I’d give up my rank and stay here, a simple life in Liyue would be better for me than a harbingers salary in Snezhnaya.

He was so startled by this revelation, by the sheer determination of that thought, that he dropped his spoon. Guizhong and Zhongli looked at him, he sheepishly picked up the spoon from the table – luckily it hadn’t hit the floor – and used his hydro control on the liquid in the congee to get rid of what had splattered onto the tabletop.

“Sorry,” he said quickly, feeling his face go hot with embarrassment.

“Are you okay? You looked a little out of it,” Zhongli asked, looking a little worried.

“I’m fine, I’m fine! I was just lost in thought for a moment. All back now though, that clattering sure got me out of it.”

Zhongli looked at him intently, as if he wanted to say something else, but then seemed to decide not to. He reached over, his thumb gently swiping over his cheek before wiping it on a napkin. “Some hit your cheek,” he explained.

“Oh. Thank you,” he said quickly, still feeling hot.

Shortly after, they were finished eating breakfast. Ajax didn’t really want to go, but he knew he had to. He was Tartaglia, the eleventh fatui harbinger, vanguard of her majesty the Tsaritsa. And he had to attend to his duties. If he didn’t and anyone noticed, it might raise suspicions. He didn’t want that, it would mean that he had to be careful what he did and said and how he spent his time.

If anyone would even have slight suspicions about his loyalty to her majesty, there could be an entire investigation into him. And that would mean to be extremely careful, he wouldn’t be able to spend time with Zhongli for weeks or months, lest someone would get wrong ideas. So it was best to make sure ahead that he wouldn’t get in trouble.

“Alright, I have to go. Do you need anything from the harbour I can bring you when I come back? But as I said, I don’t know when exactly that will be.”

Zhongli smiled gently and shook his head. “Thank you, but I think we have everything on hand. And director Hu knows to come and get me if needed. If you have to go out for debt collections, take care please. If anything happens, call my name, I will hear you.” Zhongli looked at him firmly.

“Thank you. Will do. See you later then, you two.” He said, smiling at Zhongli and Guizhong, waving to them as he turned to walk outside the building. Guizhong waved back at him too, calling after him to be careful.

It felt weird to leave. He had only been here for barely three days, but it hardly felt like it. Going back to his normal life felt weird. With a sigh, he approached the portal, concentrating on the memory of the ruins outside of the harbour. Just like Zhongli told him to.

The familiar swirling sensation engulfed him, he could feel himself stumble, his hand coming up to touch rough stone walls. It took a moment for him to steady himself, then he began the short trek down to the path that lead into the harbour.

Judging from the lighting, it was barely past eight in the morning. Good, because the sooner he was done with whatever he had to do, he could go back again. Walking to Northland Bank felt just as weird, he hoped Katya wasn’t mad at him for skipping almost two days of work. Well, he was her superior, but they had a friendly relationship.

“Master Tartaglia, you’re here already?” She looked at him surprised, clearly hadn’t expected him to turn up that early in the morning after he said he’d be in sometime today.

“Of course. I wanted to see if everything is alright and if there’s anything to do for me. The debt collection job yesterday was a miss, after all.” He replied, shrugging lightly.

“Regrettably, yes. There is quite a bit of paperwork that is in need of your attention, as well as some reports that need to be read and signed off on so we can hand them in. I’m afraid, it looks like a morning’s worth of work. That is, if nothing of urgency comes in during the morning.” Ekaterina said, ever dutifully on top of anything that needed to be done. An excellent secretary.

“Alright, I will be in my office then. Tell me if there’s something urgent,” he said, turning towards his office. Oh, how he hated doing paperwork. But it needed to be done and the quicker he got it over with, the quicker he’d be able to go back to Zhongli.

“I will, Master Tartaglia.”

Chapter Text

Guizhong was looking at him from across the counter like a cat that got the cream. “Sooo… The boy is gone.” She said with a broad grin. “Tell me everything, Zhongli.”

The brunette groaned, filling up his teacup. He knew there was no escaping this. Guizhong was way too invested in this, and she wasn’t someone who backed down very easily if she really wanted to know something.

So he started all the way at the beginning, explained to her who the fatui were and his contract with the cryo archon, so she would understand the starting premise. Then he told her about his first meeting with Childe, being honest about his instant attraction to the man. He already told her such, after all.

Then, he told her how they slowly grew closer than mere business associates. How they quickly started to spend more and more time together. Starting at spending their lunch breaks together to going for dinner, spending time drinking tea and listening to stories and operas at Heyu Tea House. How they started going for walks together, and how Childe started buying him nice things.

With a heavy sigh, he kept going, telling his friend about the day he gave up his gnosis and almost ruined their friendship completely. About the following weeks, where his life felt empty and the relief of having given up his gnosis wasn’t at all what he thought it would be.

He told her how Childe came to fetch him at Wangsheng Funeral Parlour, how he pretty much dragged him outside the city, far away from anyone who could overhear them and just yelled at him. Cussed him out, angry about being played a fool, accusing him of never having been his friend at all, of Zhongli only using him for his plan.

When he had calmed down, he let Zhongli explain. Let him apologise, cementing the apology with promises not to lie anymore. The god promised, because he didn’t want to lose him. This friendship had been the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time, and the fatuus was very precious to him.

Lastly he told her about the last few months, how they had grown closer after everything had come clean. And how much closer they had gotten just over the last few days, having established themselves as best friends and explored new boundaries.

Guizhong stared at him in disbelief. “Oh by Celestia, how are you two not dating?! You’re acting like you’re married!”

Zhongli felt heat rise in his face, hoping that he wasn’t visibly blushing. “Now you’re making me scared that he’s just going along with it because of me. And I’ve had minor panic attacks concerning that in the past.”

“As if, he’s clearly very fond of you. Do you not see how he looks at you? Like you’ve hung the moon and the stars into the sky.”

“I highly doubt that. He’s just happy because he’s made a friend for the first time in a long time. And he can talk to me about things he can’t even talk to his family about. He appreciates that I take him seriously and don’t think he’s less than just for his abyss influence.” Zhongli took a sip of his tea, sighing softly. “I just want to be a source of comfort for him. If I can be that, I’m already happy.”

The goddess groaned, tapping her nails on the surface of the counter. “You’re oblivious, aren’t you?”

“I simply don’t want to read too much into things and get my hopes up for nothing. And I don’t want to destroy what is a very important friendship. Losing him would be even worse than unreciprocated love. I can live with this. For a very long time I was convinced I was incapable of feeling love.”

The man fidgeted with his own fingers. Before he had met Ajax, he had been sure that he wasn’t capable of feeling an emotion as pure as love. If he was, he would have long since fallen in love with someone, right? So after living almost 7000 years without finding his one, he assumed it was his fault.

For so long he believed that he, the dragon of Mt. Aocang, simply couldn’t love. He’d brought shame over his qilin side with the bloodshed of the archon war, so much so that he stopped even really considering a part of him. But then he’d met Ajax, and with a boyish grin, a botched pronunciation and a stuttered apology, the dragons heart had belonged to this man for all eternity.

“I can see why it’s him. There’s something special about him. And he’s pretty cute.” Guizhong said with a chuckle.

Zhongli let out a low growl, too soft to be threatening. Just his subconscious trying to deter a possible competitor. Even if consciously, he knew that she would never do anything the like. Just alone not because they were friends, even less because she knew that he would never love someone else.

She just laughed fondly, waving her hands. “Oh you can have him, I’m just saying that objectively. He’s clearly a handsome man. Also, that red eyeliner looks good on him, don’t think I haven’t noticed. Subtly staking your claim?” She asked, grinning.

He could feel his face get hotter again. “He asked. But it does look very good on him. I… I’m pleased he went out like this.”

“I’m sure you are! Takes a pretty special guy to win the heart of the great warrior god. I honestly always hoped I’d get to see you fall in love and be happy. One of my big regrets when I returned to being a dust sprite.” She admitted, warming her hands with her cup.

“We just seem to understand each other easily. Both of us have this side to us that we see as a monster, that we’d rather forget exists. That makes us think we don’t deserve good things. We both see our past failures as defining and need to learn that it doesn’t have to do that for all eternity…” He said quietly, thinking about all the times they had talked about these things, comforted each other.

“When I’m with him, I feel calm. The beast inside of me quietens, the lust for battle subsides. I feel at peace. He… I feel at home with him. Do you have any idea when something last felt like home for me? When I last felt that comfortable and happy with someone?” Zhongli asked, refilling his teacup.

Guizhong’s pale blue eyes didn’t leave him, watching him closely. “When?”

“Home on Mt. Aocang. With my mother by my side, playing with my hair and singing to me until I would fall asleep, my father curled around us, his purr a constant rhythm behind mothers voice.” He replied, voice barely above a whisper.

His childhood, teenage and young adult years on Mt. Aocang had been full of love and comfort. Both dragons and qilin were doting parents. It wasn’t uncommon even for grown up children to still sleep with their parents like that, cuddled together for warmth and comfort.

He had missed this feeling of belonging. And for millennia, he had thought he would never again get to experience it. But with Ajax, it was so easy to get lost in the moment, just enjoying this feeling. And even if it hurt that they would never be a couple, he sometimes just enjoyed feeling love for him. Because for so long, he believed he was incapable of loving. Feeling his love for the snezhnayan so clearly and so deeply made him happy just for the fact that it was proof that he was able to love someone.

Guizhong giggled next to him, so he shot her a questioning look. “You were thinking about him, right? I could pinpoint the exact moment your thoughts switched from what you were thinking of first to him. Your face betrays you, my friend. Though I doubt that he would notice, so no worries.”

“I-I can’t help it. Whatever I seem to think, my thoughts soon come back to him. He is always on my mind, even if only in the back of my head. Even if just as small thoughts like ‘he would like this’ or ‘what is he doing’.” He admitted softly, knowing it was useless to try and make her believe something else.

“You’re obsessed with him,” she chuckled. “Well, I can’t blame you. You waited almost 7000 years to fall in love with someone. Understandable that you’d be obsessed with him. And aren’t dragons quite possessive and doting partners?”

Zhongli nodded, feeling warmth on his cheeks. It was in his very nature to be obsessed with his loved one. To want to make him happy and comfortable at all costs. Providing for him with any means possible, so he wouldn’t lack anything.

Which reminded him of how much money he’d cost Ajax so far with his own forgetfulness. He had been so used to living life without needing to think about money. It was long due that he started to pay the other back. Ajax didn’t have infinite money, unlike Zhongli had prior to giving up his gnosis. Which stupidly, he gave up without having created monetary reserves for himself.

Just how many million mora did he owe him? He could start and give the majority of his salary from Wangsheng to Ajax instead. He was an adeptus, of course he needed to eat, but skipping some meals would not kill him. He didn’t want Ajax to feel used by him as well, and this would be a way to start.

Because even for the off chance that Ajax had any romantic feelings towards him, how could he even consider him as a potential partner when he owed him that much money? Surely Ajax wouldn’t want his partner to be someone who was mooching off him, when he was used by people all his life.

The longer he thought about it, the more embarrassed he felt that for a while, he had been convinced they were dating. Engaged even. When slowly but surely it was becoming clear as day to him how delusional he had been.

Of course someone like Ajax, who loved to have fun, was normally such an easy-going person, wouldn’t fall in love with someone like him. Someone stiff and stuck-up. Director Hu had told him plenty that he was worse than her grandfather was at times, after all.

Before he started spending time with Ajax, ‘fun’ had been a word that had been meaningless for him for a long time. He knew only duty, and preparation for duty. What little time he didn’t spend thinking about how to make Liyue prosper, he spent honing his skills and knowledge.

“You’re worrying about something, I can see it clearly. What’s the matter?” Guizhong asked softly, ripping him out of his thoughts.

“I-I feel old. I feel like I’ve made myself old. All the responsibility of the last millennia made me act and feel like an old man,” he admitted barely audible.

It felt so stupid. But then, Guizhong had never been one to judge. Even when she’d seen him at his worst, coming back to Guili assembly covered in dried and fresh blood of his enemies. She had just quietly helped scrubbing it off him, made sure that he was unharmed. Never judging him or fearing him, rarely ever scolding him.

“You aren’t old though, no? I mean of course almost 7000 years is a considerable length of time, but for a dust sprite, that is nothing at all. That would be comparable to a human toddler. What is it for dragons?” She asked, sipping some tea.

“Compared to humans? About Childe’s age. Mid-twenties, maybe late-twenties. The people in the harbour think I am about 28 years old at this point, that would be about correct from a developmental standpoint.”

She raised her eyebrow lightly, keeping close watch on him. “So when we break that down, you were a teenager during the archon war?”

“Eh, well it went on for a long time. But yes, I was in my late teens when I became an archon. My father used to say that when dragons were still plenty, they were considered to be adult at an age of around 3500 years. Bit more, bit less depending on exact race.

A sea dragon would already be considered an adult at much less than that, but they grow quicker than mountain dragons. Mountain dragons grow rather slow, with growth spurts that eventually slow again until another growth spurt hits…” He explained. “And it’s even more difficult with hybrids like me, considering qilin grow up differently too. So my growth and aging does not align with a pure mountain dragon or pure qilin.”

Guizhong nodded, looking intrigued. “I see, so it’s hard to tell exactly, but you’re actually just your regular adult age. Not even middle aged already. And you think with all the responsibility, you made yourself act a lot older than you actually are?”

“Yes. I feel like I made myself act like a senior citizen. Like an old man. And people say so too, director Hu does, and I hear it in the harbour too. How it’s difficult to believe that I’m this young, when I act so old-fashioned and stiff.” Zhongli groaned, leaning his chin onto his hand.

“And it started bothering you, now that you’re retired and realizing it? Or is it something Childe said?”

“No, not him. I just realized it myself and it’s been bothering me for a few hours. I was even unsure about my clothes today. I thought he might think I look ridiculous with my shirt like this. Like an old man trying to impress the young ladies. I used to love having fun and laughing when I was young, but I trained it away. With Childe, I’ve been able to laugh again. And something in me wants to change, wants to be that person again.

But at the same time I worry what people will think of me, their expectations… And if Childe is going to think I’m acting stupid. I’m already worried that I let myself go, showed too much of me, that he secretly thinks I’m embarrassing and would have preferred to never see these parts of me.”

“Zhongli…” Guizhong sighed softly, looking worried. “I don’t think he’d think any of this.”

“I don’t know. He says he wants to know the real me, but I’m scared he’ll be upset if he knows all my shortcomings. If he knows how often I feel insecure or overthink on what I said or did. What a pitiful god, what a shame of an archon. I am – was – the geo archon, a pillar of strength. Unwavering and confident, solid stone against everything. A face of stone, not betraying a single emotion.”

The goddess reached over, gently squeezing his arm, trying to calm him down a little bit. Reassuring him. Like she used to do, thousands and thousands of years ago, when he lost himself to bloodshed. “But you don’t want to be like that anymore, right? So why pressure yourself to be like that? He seems to enjoy getting to know you closer, you two can barely keep your hands off each other. Don’t think I haven’t noticed all these tiny touches between you.”

Zhongli took a sip of his tea, trying to calm down his erratic heartbeat. Why was he getting so worked up over this? He had been able to keep it together for this long, why did I seem so difficult now? Was it because he no longer had his gnosis? Or because it also concerned his loved one?

Some stupid, hopeful part of his heart still secretly hoped he would be able to turn things to his favour. Even if the rational part of his brain knew it was highly unlikely. Sure, Ajax was human and could fall in love again and again and again. But that didn’t mean that he’d fall in love with him sooner or later.

Guizhong tapped her nails against the counter in a slow rhythm. “Have you tried talking to him about this? Maybe that would be good. Voicing those worries. They might dissipate if he tells you that he doesn’t see it like that.”

“Maybe I should. I will think about it.” The adeptus said quietly, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. It had felt so nice and relaxing when Ajax had brushed and braided his hair. He felt so proud wearing this braid. His loved one had done this for him, groomed him. He hoped it looked good on him, he wanted to do this pretty and intricate hairstyle justice.

“What do you like about Childe? Like your favourite things.” She asked with a hint of a mischievous smile.

Zhongli thought for a moment. His favourite things about Ajax… There were so many. “I mean obviously, he is very attractive. I am particularly fond of his freckles and beauty marks… His hair and his eyes. There is this soft laugh that he does sometimes, I would do anything to hear it. Or that boyish grin, when he’s teasing or having fun. His voice, of course.

But apart from physical things… He is fundamentally kind and caring, even if he doesn’t think he is. I have heard from his secretary that he is known in the fatui to treat his subordinates much better than the other harbingers. And he cares so much for his family, even if they haven’t been fair to him in the past. And he’s very humble, if you ask him he isn’t talented at anything, even if he clearly is.

He is very passionate about anything he does. Always giving it his all, focusing on it, putting all his skill and attention onto it. And he’s interested in so many things! When I was initially hired to help hi get around in Liyue, I was sure I was boring him to death with my explanations about liyuen culture. But he actually remembered it, asked questions about things I said. Sometimes days later even, when he had thought about things for a while. And he would ask about things on his own, wanting to know more about our land.

And he’s very generous. If he saw I was looking at anything, he didn’t even check how much it was, he just bought it for me. Anything I looked at longer than maybe half a minute I’d find purchased for me. And well, he’s just so easy to be around? In the harbour I’m used to having to keep up my persona as a mortal, watch what I say lest I give away who I really am. But with him I can speak freely, and it feels like he really does want to know these things.”

Guizhong hummed, nodding her head. She took a sip of her teacup, filled it up again and cleared her throat. “See, that’s why I don’t think that he’s going to want you to stay in that persona that you built yourself during the archon war and your time as archon. I think he wants to know you, the real you. Behind it all, with no pretence left. Or more even, he wants to know it all.

Childe wants to know Rex Lapis, but more than that he wants to know Zhongli. And even more than that, he wants to know Morax. He wants to know them all, wants to know every single facet of you. Of course he’ll respect that you might not want to show him everything. That he might not be in a position where you’ll permit him to see everything. But the impression I get from him is that he wants to know every detail about you.”

That would be nice. He had said something along those lines after all. But he was still scared that Ajax would be upset by who he would see once he let down all his guards, finally let down the pressure of needing to be perfect.

“And I’ve been watching you two closely. Though I cannot say for sure if Childe is in love with you, it sure looks like it for me, but maybe it’s just friendly adoration… What do I know, I’ve never been in love yet. And other people also always thought you and I were a couple when we never had such feelings between us, so I know it’s sometimes difficult to judge from the side-lines. But it certainly seems he’s as obsessed with you as you are with him. After all, he’s constantly looking at you.”

Chapter Text

It took Zhongli a while to get over Guizhong’s last statement. When his heartbeat had finally calmed down a little, he could see her looking at him fondly. She had always been like a sister for him, his own pillar of support, especially in a time where you couldn’t really rely on anybody but yourself. He was thankful that she was back, alive after all.

“Ah, by the way. Who was the qilin that sealed herself in Mt. Aocang? Was it your mother? You did go to investigate it, right?” She asked, leaning over curiously.

“What are you talking about?” He asked confused. He’d never heard of such a thing.

The curious expression on her face fell, making way for one of surprise. “What do you mean what am I talking about? I gave the information to you, in my dumbbell? I heard of it just shortly before I returned to my dust sprite form. A qilin woman that had sealed herself in Mt. Aocang, having taken a potion that would cause her body to go into stasis? I was hoping it was your mother, since you said you didn’t know if she was dead, that you simply couldn’t find her anymore.”

Zhongli could feel his heart constrict painfully. He had never managed to open Guizhong’s dumbbell. Too complicated were the various mechanisms and riddles keeping it closed. He wasn’t stupid by any means, but Guizhong’s intelligence was far higher than anyone he ever met, rivalling the dendro archon, goddess of wisdom herself. Sheepishly, he made the dumbbell appear and handed it to his friend.

“You never opened it? Didn’t I tell you to?!” She asked exasperated, throwing her hands up. “I told you with my dying breath!”

“I tried. I never managed to, it was too difficult for me,” he admitted, sighing with defeat.

“Well, now it’s no use for you anymore anyways. Considering that a) the archon war is over. B) You’re not even an archon anymore. C) I’m back again and d) I could now tell you about the qilin myself.” She made a frustrated noise, downing the last tea in her cup.

“You might want to investigate this even if it’s been thousands of years. She might still be there, still in stasis. The seal would probably have worn down over time. Or you might be able to break it, considering you’re a god and the seal was done by a qilin. It might just be some random woman of course, but I knew you grew up there so I thought maybe she sealed herself at a special place, hoping someone would come to get her when it’s all over.” Guizhong said softly, running her hand down her face.

Zhongli swallowed, his throat feeling dry. It was true that Mt. Aocang was his home and that this qilin woman sealing herself there could mean it was his mother. But it could just be any other qilin seeking protection and shelter from the war, hoping to survive this way.

“I might. I need to think about it. If you don’t mind, I’ll go train a little. Clear my head.”

“Not at all, I might be due for a nap anyways. I’ve been up since the middle of the night, and I still feel exhausted. Thank you again for letting me stay here.” Guizhong was smiling gently, hand coming up to pat his head, as she’d done so often back in guili assembly. Back then he had often played annoyed by it, but he’d actually found it quite endearing.

He couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, waving his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing, really. I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad you’re back. I know I’m not always easy, but I appreciate you looking out for me. I… I should have told you that a long time ago. I always regretted never telling you, I was worried you died without knowing how dear you really were to me.”

Guizhong got up from her seat, stretching her legs. “Don’t worry, I knew. You might not have said it, but I knew from the way you treated me differently than anybody else.”

Zhongli got up as well, and she quickly walked over to him. Then, she grinned and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Ah, I missed you, you big blockhead.” She said, muffled with her face pressed into his chest.

He carefully put his arms around her, gently squeezing her against him, hugging her just as tightly. “I missed you too, terribly so.”

They stayed like this for a little bit, until Guizhong made a soft noise and carefully moved away. She smiled, then put her cup in the sink, taking Zhongli’s empty one and the empty teapot as well, putting them there too. “I’ll take care of this later, don’t you dare doing it.”

He huffed softly. “Fine, if you insist. Thank you. And sleep well.”

“Oh I will, that bed is the most comfortable thing ever! Everything is so soft and fluffy and smells really nice. I really like that room.”

“Good. It’s yours for all eternity if you want to. It’s not like I have any other guests. And even if, I could just make more rooms…” He hummed, checking if the bow on his braid was still nice and tight.

Guizhong chuckled, walking towards the door. “Right, Childe sleeps in your bed after all~!” she called from the doorway, quickly running towards her room giggling.

Zhongli shook his head with amusement, then walked to the training field at a leisurely pace, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Once he was there, he summoned his spear and went through the familiar motions of his training regimen, perfected over millennia, while letting his thoughts roam.

After a little while, he had enough. He had almost made up his mind concerning the sealed qilin. But he wasn’t sure about a few small things yet. The sun was deliciously warm, and the thought of a nap was very tempting.

Walking back to the palace, he eyed the stone platform, surely lovely warmed up by now. Zhongli walked over and put his hand on it, feeling it radiate warmth. Why not? It was not like he had anything else to do, why shouldn’t he relax a little? Time would pass quicker, then maybe Ajax would be back soon.

Zhongli twisted his torso a little, feeling his body elongate with the motion. Once in his dragon form, he curled around himself on top of the platform, purring happily at how nice and warm the stone felt. Yes, exactly what he needed. A nap in the sun would do him well. It was a small luxury he rarely ever afforded himself. It didn’t take long for him to drift off.

He could feel someone gently caressing him. Hmmm… Had Guizhong come outside and found him? He rumbled happily, enjoying the feeling of having his mane and scales touched. Of course, he wouldn’t just let anyone touch him, but Guizhong always had a different ruleset from everybody else. He was so warm, how long had he been napping? After a yawn, he lazily opened his eyes.

Only to see auburn hair and blue eyes.

Ajax was back.

The fatuus was sitting next to him on the stone platform, idly petting his mane and scales. Looking completely unbothered by the sight of him in his dragon form. He looked a bit surprised, his hand stopping movement as he probably realized that Zhongli had woken up.

“You’re back,” Zhongli said with a satisfied rumble, his voice in his dragon form lower than in his real form due to the vocal chords being a little different.

“Ah, Zhongli. I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist, I didn’t want to wake you. But when do I get the chance to pet a dragon again?” Ajax asked, laughing sheepishly.

“You didn’t wake me, don’t worry. I probably would have woken up soon, I think I have been napping for a while. Since maybe mid-morning. How late is it?”

The snezhnayan chuckled. “Just a little bit past noon. I left my office short before, it’s been maybe twenty minutes since I left.”

Oh. He had promised Ajax to have lunch ready for him when he came back. He really shouldn’t have taken this nap. He didn’t want the other to think of him as unreliable.

“What’s the matter?” the fatuus asked, looking at him curiously.

“I shouldn’t have taken a nap, I told you I’d have lunch ready for you when you would be back…” he admitted softly. “I’m sorry.”

Ajax blinked up at him, then shook his head and laughed. “Don’t apologise for that! I’m glad you did, you need to take care of yourself. Enjoy your retirement. I’m sure you didn’t have time for naps for a long time, and it looked like it was really good. You looked very calm and relaxed. And hey, that just means we can fix lunch together, how about that? Much more fun, isn’t it? At least for me, usually.

I mean, admittedly ever since I started having my meals with you, I’ve been eating much better and more than I usually would. I… I used to just wolf down something, most of the time it didn’t even have to be something nutritious, as long as it would fill me enough so I wouldn’t be hungry. Dried meat or fish, maybe some bread or cheese. The odd pickled vegetable. Or some berries or other fruit I picked up outside.”

His words made Zhongli’s heart flutter, making him rumble happily. “I’m glad. You should take more care of yourself too.”

“Yeah, I’m learning to. Maybe we just have to encourage each other and push each other to do it a bit, hm?” He said with a smile, lightly nudging against Zhongli’s large hand. Even now, no hesitation, no fear of touching this dragon, sitting next to him completely at ease.

“Sounds like a plan.” He agreed.

“Ah, I was at the harbour real quick. Brought you some jars of smetana, if you ever want to make some more snezhnayan recipes. It’s a staple used in many of them. It was in the honey cake I made too, the filling was made with it. I uhm, thought maybe it would be handy for you to have around. Is that silly?” The redhead chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. Oh, how cute he was.

Zhongli couldn’t really smile like this, but he tried to nevertheless. “Not silly at all. Very thoughtful actually, thank you very much.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Ajax made a thoughtful noise, then let his hand brush over Zhongli’s clawed hand again. “So different…” he murmured.

“From my usual form? I can change back if it makes you uncomfortable. I should have thought about it sooner-“ Zhongli said quickly. Had he only pretended to feel at ease, not wanting to hurt his feelings? He understood that this form would probably be much scarier than his usual form.

“What, no. Zhongli, I literally sat here petting your mane while you were sleeping. You’re big enough to eat me with one, maybe two bites. If I was worried about anything, I definitely wouldn’t have sat here idly petting a sleeping dragon,” he replied, laughing softly. “I meant your scales. They’re different than what I thought they’d feel like. I expected them to feel hard and rough. Sharp edges, maybe even. But it actually feels more like snakeskin. So smooth and shiny. You almost look like a bronze and copper statue under the bright sun.”

If Zhongli had been in his other form, he probably would have started blushing at the praise. “Thank you,” he said softly, rumbling happily. He turned back into his adeptus form, his body changing, dissipating with soft specks of golden light, floating away from his body like fireflies.

Ajax was staring, his mouth a bit agape. “Wow”

He may not have been able to blush in his dragon form, but now he could feel the familiar heat rising in his cheeks, hoping it wasn’t too bad.

They entered the kitchen together, Ajax quickly put away the smetana. “Hey, if you want to, I could teach you how to make blini? Snezhnayan pancakes that you can fill with savoury or sweet fillings.”

“I would love that. What do we need, do we have everything on hand?” He asked, excited to learn another recipe. He loved when Ajax wanted to share things with him, showing him the things he was used to when growing up.

“Mhm, probably. Flour, eggs, salt, baking soda, butter… of course you wouldn’t have kefir, it’s a fermented milk drink. But milk is fine as a substitute, that’ll do. We didn’t always have kefir at hand either back home. And for the toppings, I did bring smetana, then if you like it sweet you can put jam, or sugar, honey, cut up fruit… savoury we often do smoked fish, but you can also do meat or other things. It’s anything goes, really. A blank slate that you can do with as you please.”  Ajax explained with a smile.

Ah, how Zhongli wanted to kiss that smile. Maybe crowd him against the counter, put his arms on it on both of his sides and just kiss him. Murmur sweet nothings in between, making known how much he meant to him. What a beautiful being he was in his eyes.

“Sounds intriguing. We have all of that at hand, yes. Did you eat this often?” The god asked, starting to take out the ingredients, Ajax moving to get out a large bowl and other utensils.

“Oh yes. It’s cheap, and we have our own chickens, so we always have eggs anyways. We eat a lot of fish, we smoke it or cure it to preserve it, so we often sliced it and put it on blini with smetana. Or we preserve wild berries and fruit in the summer, then we’ll be able to eat them through the winter. Well, summer… It’s not in any way comparable to liyuen summer of course, but it’s good enough for some plants to grow.

We usually make them with buckwheat flour, actual wheat doesn’t grow well in Snezhnaya, the wheat products and flour we have are imported from elsewhere. But it works with wheat flour too, I’ve seen that buckwheat isn’t used in Liyue.” Ajax said, putting everything on the counter.

Then he moved, taking off his gloves and his jacket. Revealing a white shirt underneath. Somehow, Zhongli had been so focused on just seeing him again, that he hadn’t even noticed the familiar dark red hints replaced by white. It was now that he also noticed that the herbal, woodsy scent that he so associated with the ginger was stronger again.

Apparently the other man caught him staring, because he laughed. “I went home briefly to change before work. I just grabbed the first clean shirt I could get, I’m due to do some laundry soon, but I still have a few. Just not red ones. And hey, you’re wearing something different today too.”

“Yes, that’s true I suppose. It’s just… you know, I’m always used to seeing you with that jacket or now with the red shirt. It’s just different. Not bad of course, just different.” The god said quickly.

“Mhm, it’s the same for me with you. I was always used to seeing you with that outfit, with your coat. But seeing you in a robe, or dressed like you are now, it’s different. Not bad, it’s just a very different thing. But… I think it’s nice. It’s a certain level of comfort with each other, isn’t it? Before it was always… Work clothes only, I guess. But this is us, casual, comfortable. We’re no longer just work associates after all. Far away from it.”

Zhongli felt relieved. So Ajax really didn’t find it weird of him to not keep dressing in his usual attire? He nodded, agreeing completely. “Speaking of, how was work?”

“Lots of paperwork. But I powered through,” the ginger grimaced, walking over to stand next to him.

He took out a small pan, started a small fire on the stove and melted the butter. He carefully measured out milk and then dumped the melted butter into it. “So the butter won’t cook the egg, we don’t want that,” he explained gently.

“Ah, I see. Mhm, yes you hate paperwork,” Zhongli replied with a fond laugh.

“See, you get me. Yet I still have to do it all the time, it was a pile this big!” He said, hovering his hand above the counter at chest-height, surely exaggerating for dramatic effect. “Can you crack two eggs into that bowl and whisk them together?”

Zhongli chuckled, taking two eggs, cracking them and whisking them together as instructed. “You got done very fast for such a gigantic mountain of paperwork.”

“I did my best. I wanted to get done quickly.” Ajax said, measuring out the flour.

“Aw, did you miss me?” Zhongli asked teasingly, knowing that it obviously wasn’t why. Ajax hated paperwork, simple as that.

“I did. Spending time with you is a lot more fun than working, after all.” Ajax replied with a hum, double checking the amount of flour, then adding the baking soda.

The dragons heart fluttered. Ajax had missed him. Maybe even been looking forward to coming back here, to him? To spend time with him?  Maybe he felt comfortable here too? Zhongli liked this, being here like this almost felt like the domestic bliss that he was yearning for.

Spending their time together, cooking and eating together, occasionally sparring, sitting outside and talking, sleeping in one bed… This place had once been a reminder of how lonely he was. And just in a matter of days, it felt completely different. There was life and laughter here now, not just a lavish, unused palace and a lonely dragon sitting surrounded by treasures.

There was a puff of white in front of his face and he blinked, then turned away quickly and sneezed. He could hear Ajax laughing heartily, and when he turned back around, it got even worse.

“Oh my, hah, I-I… Come here… Didn’t want to hit your face like that, haha sorry!” Ajax moved closer, brushing over his cheek with his fingers, dusting him off.

“Did you just throw flour at me?”

The ginger was still laughing, his fingers now brushing over Zhongli’s nose, dusting the flour off of it. “Just a pinch… You were lost in thought.”

“Oh, you’ll regret that…” The god said with a hint of a playful rumble. His hand quickly moved to the flour, grabbing some, then throwing it at the snezhnayan.

Ajax sputtered when the flour hit his face, lightly shoving against Zhongli’s shoulder. “Hey!”

“You did it too!” The brunette exclaimed.

“But not full on in your face like that! Oh you just wait, I’m getting my revenge!” Ajax grabbed another handful, throwing it and narrowly missing the other man. “Shit.”

Before Ajax could evade, more flour hit his face. He sputtered again, starting to shove at the adeptus again. “So unfair! I can’t win against you, can I?!”

Zhongli laughed, shoving back against him. Wrestling each other like children, trying to get the other to move or give up. “I’ve won the archon war, beating me shouldn’t be easy,” he said teasingly, his hip bumping against Ajax’, trying to throw him off balance.

The ginger slipped, the flour on the floor making it a slippery mess. He tried to hold himself up, grabbing Zhongli’s arm. Unfortunately, the god lost his footing as well, crashing down on the floor with him.

“Ugh,” Ajax groaned. “At least we cleaned the floor with my shirt now,” he said with a huff.

“Good thing you wore a white one and not the red one?” Zhongli asked, lying half on top of him, Ajax on his back under him. Zhongli carefully got up on his hands and knees, laughing when he could see the Snezhnayans face, dusted white like a theatre actress powdered and ready for her debut.

Zhongli burst out of laughter at the sight, making Ajax laugh as well. They just stayed like this for a while, heartily laughing at how childish they had acted. But they’d be damned if it hadn’t been fun.

He sat back on his haunches, then carefully started to dust away the flour on Ajax’ face with his fingers, just like Ajax had done for him earlier. “You look like that one actress we saw at heyu tea house a while ago. The one that played a princess but got a bit too deep into her powder and ended up making a face print on the actor who played her beloved’s robe.”

“Oh I remember. Come here, let me print my face into your shirt,” Ajax snickered.

Zhongli shook his head, still laughing. He slowly stood up, then offered his hand to help the younger man with getting up as well.

When they stood next to each other, Ajax playfully nudged his side again. “Good thing you have plenty of flour around, huh?”

Chapter Text

As they finished the batter and made sure to combine it well, Ajax’ thoughts kept circling about their playfight earlier. More exactly, the way Zhongli had laughed. He’d already been laughing when they were still trying to wrestle each other to the ground. But he couldn’t shake the memory of how he looked on all fours above him, traces of flour still on his face and hair, lost in a complete laughing fit.

He was beautiful.

Zhongli was a man with many facets and many different appearances, and he was always beautiful to him. But laughing like that, on the floor, after a silly playfight… He had looked so young and carefree. Beautiful in a completely new and different way. Was this the man he was at his core? Playful and fun-loving, relaxed, soft and gentle?

Was this what he had been like before the archon war? He had hinted before that the archon war made him change, that it was necessary to harden himself against what was happening. And then, with everyone’s expectations of him being so high, it surely was difficult as well.

Watching him laugh like that, he knew he was falling in love with him all over again. He hoped he would get to see the god more like that. It all felt like such a privilege, being allowed to get this close to him, getting to know him like this. He looked a little less serious now, everything about him was obviously more at ease.

Sometimes it surprised him how everything he learnt about Zhongli made him only fall in love more and more. Every single facet of this man was fascinating in its own right, and all of them combined to a gem with a worth beyond any measure.

There weren’t words meaningful enough to express how Ajax felt for him, how precious he was to him. Even “love” seemed too weak for such intense feelings. Being with him made Ajax happy, and he hoped that it was mutual. It did seem like Zhongli enjoyed their time together just as much, judging from how he reacted when Ajax told him he would be coming back.

“Is this fine?” The adeptus asked, showing the combined batter. It looked smooth and silky, no lumps in sight.

“Perfect. Now, people make them in different sizes. There’s small and thick ones and big and thin ones. In my house, we were many mouths to feed, so it was usually easier to make them bigger.”

“Then we’ll do that. I’m sure they’ll be delicious either way.” Zhongli was smiling at him, making him feel weak. Oh Celestia, this man.

“Just don’t be disappointed, the first blin never turns out nice. But the other ones will be good!” He said with a grin, remembering how disappointed he had been at his very first try, a long time ago.

“I thought they were called blini?” The adeptus asked, watching as he put the pan on the fire and added a little bit oil.

“One blin. Many blini,” he explained, moving the oil around. “Now, you take a ladle, scoop out some batter, then add it to the pan. Move the pan, you want a thin layer of batter coating it…” He said, demonstrating it.

As he mentioned before, the first blin did not turn out nice. It looked a little bit too thick and had ripped halfway through. But he immediately put in more batter, determined to show off a nice looking one before letting the liyuen try himself.

When it looked nice and brown, he put the blin on a plate. “See, that’s a good one. That’s what they’re supposed to look like. Nice, thin and brown. Do you want to try it yourself now?”

Zhongli looked at the blin, then nodded. “I hope I don’t ruin them,” he said softly, carefully adding the batter to the pan.

“Don’t worry, even if they’re a bit wonky, they’ll still be delicious either way. Don’t think too hard about it.” Ajax assured, standing close to him.

When he could see that it was time to flip it, he gently put his hand on top of Zhongli’s, holding onto the handle. “And now you flip it, like this,” he said, guiding his hand with the motion.

Zhongli hummed, looking happy. It took Ajax a moment to take his hand away again, always feeling reluctant to get out of the other’s space.

They kept going like this, Zhongli making blin after blin. When he put the last one on the plate, he looked satisfied. “They came out better than I expected them to, I think?” He asked, looking at Ajax.

“Ah, I knew you’d do well. You always do, at anything,” Ajax laughed. While Zhongli had cooked up the blini, he had gotten different toppings ready. He’d taken out one of the smetana jars and one with mixed pickled vegetables, cut up some fruits, whipped up cream and thinly sliced some cured fish.

“Trust me, I’m not. I’m bad at many things. I try not to show it, but I’m quite socially awkward for example. Often when I talk to people, I spend quite some time afterwards wondering if I’ve made a bad impression, worried that I couldn’t meet their expectations. Hence I’m also quite terrible at making friends.

Hmm… I can’t navigate using the stars like many people do. I rely on the feeling of the ground and ley lines to find my way. I have trouble navigating when I’m on a ship because of that. Because the ground feels muted through the water. I can’t whistle. I wouldn’t say I’m a good singer. I… Nowadays it might seem like I can do everything. But you have to consider how long I lived.” Zhongli said quietly, putting the pan to the side to cool off.

“Nobody would notice or care that there were easy things that I struggled with a long time ago, that I now no longer do struggle with simply because it’s been so long. When did you learn how to write?” The god asked.

“Phew… Maybe at five or six? We start school aged six in Snezhnaya, but I don’t remember if I picked it up before from my siblings or only learnt it once I was in school,” Ajax replied while setting the table.

Zhongli started cooking water for their tea, humming at his words. “If you’d break it down to human age, I started learning around that time too. I didn’t get the hang of it for a long time though. By the time I would have been a ten year old, my writing was still almost illegible.”

“Really? I thought you’d be the type of person who would have really pretty and neat handwriting right from the start.”

“Not at all, no. It looks nice enough nowadays, simply due to thousands of years of practice. But back then, it was about as illegible as the shorthand that secretaries tend to use and only they know how to read. Except I couldn’t read my own writing either,” the adeptus admitted with a laugh, taking the water off the stove and getting the tea ready.

Ajax put the teacups on the table, then took the pot from Zhongli and carried it over as well. “Huh. That’s unexpected.”

Zhongli chuckled. “See? I’ll go and wake Guizhong, I’ll be right back.”

Ajax nodded, watching the brunette walk out of the kitchen.

It was ridiculous how much he loved this man. Even seeing him walk out, to come back a few minutes later nonetheless, felt like his heart was constricting painfully. He would have loved to just go with him, stay by his side. Which was stupid, because he would be right back after all.

He felt so safe around him. A kind of safe that he hadn’t known since the days before he got swallowed into the dark depths of the abyss. Being with Zhongli felt safe, warm and comfortable. Like huddling under a fluffy blanket in front of the hearth while a snowstorm was howling outside, with cookies and a hot chocolate.

“Hel-lo~” Guizhong said in a gentle sing-song, walking in through the door with a smile and a wave. Following behind her was Zhongli, who immediately walked over to sit down next to him. Guizhong taking her earlier space across of them.

“Hey,” Ajax said, returning the smile.

“Zhongli said you two cooked something from you homeland! I’m really excited.”

The god went ahead and filled everyone’s teacups, while Ajax went ahead and explained how to eat the blini. They didn’t have forks and knifes, but oh well. They’d eaten them with their hands plenty of times at home. Those times had been the ones when the blini tasted the best, if he was honest.

He put some cured fish and some smetana on his first one, when he looked over to Zhongli he saw that he had done the same, while Guizhong had went ahead with some whipped cream and berries.

Curiously, Ajax watched as Zhongli took a bite of his folded up blin. He really hoped he would like it, considering it was another one of his childhood favourites. Memories of a better time, when he still felt loved by his family. He couldn’t help but want the man he loved to like these things as well. The god made a soft, pleased noise.

“Not bad?” The fatuus asked with a smile.

“Not bad? It’s delicious,” the brunette replied. “Easy, simple, and very delicious. I can see why this would be something commonly eaten of a big family like yours. Especially with how you said that you can add pretty much anything to it.”

“Can you teach me how to make this sometime as well? This is such a great thing, so tasty!” Guizhong asked, eyes glinting with interest. They may not know each other well yet, but he was sure that Guizhong was as excited about food as she was about any kind of knowledge.

“Of course, we can do it together next time. It’s very easy. Zhongli made most of these, I only did the first one or two.” He replied, chuckling when she pumped her fist happily.

“Yes! Thank you! I’m going to learn how to make real snezhnayan food! Just a few days ago I was floating around and bored out of my mind as a dust sprite. Ah, life is fun again, finally. Made a new friend, learnt many new things… Yes, I like this,” she said with a grin, taking a bite out of her blin.

Zhongli next to him was chuckling softly. “Someone is excited.”

“Of course I am. Come on, don’t act like you don’t get excited about things.” She said with a huff, digging into her blin again.

There was a strange expression on Zhongli’s face for a moment, before he looked down and focused on his own food again. It reminded him of how he’d looked earlier in the morning, when he’d asked if his outfit looked ridiculous. He still wondered what that had been about. Maybe he could ask him later, he said maybe he’d want to talk to him about it after all.

Ajax hated when Zhongli looked like that. He felt useless then, because he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to help him, comfort him. But he wasn’t really in a position where he could just hug him, for example. He didn’t even know if Zhongli even liked hugs. Plus, he didn’t want Zhongli to think he was treating him like a child.

He didn’t know what to do if he made him angry with it. Wasn’t sure if he could take the god shouting at him. He wasn’t someone who cried anymore, ever since the abyss. But something told him that Zhongli being angry with him and shouting at him would bring him close to it. When you made someone that calm and gentle so angry that they were shouting, you really had fucked up.

Plus there was this terrifying fear of losing him. Meeting the adeptus had been the best thing that happened in his life in the recent years. He didn’t know what he would do without him. Even if he didn’t love him as much as he did.

Suddenly, he could feel warmth on his knee, along with gentle pressure. When he looked down, he could see Zhongli’s right hand resting on his left knee, gently squeezing. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, the others hand just staying there. He noticed now that Zhongli had already prepared himself another blin, keeping his right hand where it was.

Ajax put his left hand over Zhongli’s, gently squeezing his hand. Hopefully making known that his touch was welcome. Even if he always was worried about giving away his feelings. But sometimes it felt like things like this helped Zhongli just as much as they helped himself. As if the touch was grounding for him as well, helping him not get lost in conflicting thoughts.

They just kept their hands like this for the rest of lunch. Eventually, Guizhong and Zhongli talked again, the tension from moments before seemingly gone. It reminded him of his relationship with his siblings. Sometimes they would just have a small disagreement or someone would make a jab at someone, and a few moments later things would be alright again. And Zhongli had said that she was like a sister for him. So it made sense.

“Have you made up your mind about the qilin?” Guizhong asked, putting the rest of her blin into her mouth.

“I guess… I have to go and see either way, no? I don’t want to get my hopes up, so I don’t think too hard about it that it could be her. If it isn’t… it would hurt too much else.” Zhongli replied with a soft sigh.

Ajax didn’t quite know what they were talking about. But from the way Zhongli spoke and how his hand tightened on his knee, it must be about someone very important to him. He knew Zhongli’s mother had been a qilin. Had his beloved one been one, too?

“I understand. Maybe you should take Childe with you, for moral support? I’m sure he won’t mind?” Guizhong said with a gentle smile, looking over to the fatuus.

Zhongli’s hand tightened on his knee. “Would you come along with me? Guizhong knows about a qilin that sealed herself in Mt. Aocang shortly before Guizhong returned to her original form. So if she’s still sealed, she’s been there for a very long time. There… there is a… possibility… that it could be my mother. Considering it is Mt. Aocang, where I was born and raised. But it could be any other qilin as well, it doesn’t have to be her…”

Ajax’s heart skipped a beat. Zhongli wanted him to come along, possibly to find his mother? That was quite a show of trust, wasn’t it? If it was her, what would she say about her son associating with someone like him, tainted by the abyss? But he guessed worries like this were for another day.

“You don’t have to, of course. I can go alone,” the god quickly assured. He knew the expression on his face well enough by now. He wanted him to come, but didn’t want him to feel pressured to do so.

“I want to. No matter who it is. I mean, your mother probably wouldn’t approve of someone like me being friends with you, but maybe if I make a decent first impression…”

“You needn’t worry about something like that, I promise.” The brunette assured, his hand squeezing his knee again. Ajax’ own hand started to absentmindedly trace his fingers.

“Should we go soon? The sooner, the better, no? Considering she has been sealed for so long.” Ajax asked, emptying the last of his tea.

“Good idea. You two can go investigate, it’ll probably take a while so I’ll take the turn to make dinner? Then you can take your time and don’t worry. I’ll be fine here after all.” Guizhong hummed.

Zhongli nodded. “Fine. If someone would happen to knock at my apartment, it’s not uncommon for me to not be at home after all.”

“Couldn’t Guizhong answer your door and tell them you’re out?” Ajax asked.

“I can’t leave towards somewhere that I don’t know. You need to know what the other side looks like, else the portal doesn’t work. And when showing me the entry points, he politely left out his apartment,” the goddess said with a soft laugh.

Now that Ajax thought about it, he hadn’t known about that either. He initially said the one in the ruins was the closest, but then his apartment would have been the closest, no?

Zhongli must have realized what he was thinking about. “I didn’t bring you here through my apartment because that one is a concealed entry. It’s invisible, so if someone would happen to walk into my apartment, they wouldn’t see it. To show you how it works, it was best to bring you to a visible one, like in the ruins. But if you know what my apartment looks like and where exactly the portal is, then it works just the same.”

Ajax nodded in understanding. It sounded like it made sense.

“I could show you over there though. Then you could go back and forth. In case someone knocks you really could tell them I’m out and maybe pass along a message if necessary. Childe could come too, who knows when it’ll come in handy that you can use that portal too…” Zhongli said.

“So we’ll exit here, then go to your apartment?” Ajax asked.

Zhongli shook his head. “No, no. Not necessary. You can exit at a foreign point if you’re holding onto someone who knows the other side. So you can both just hold onto me, we’ll step over, and then step right back. Two minute affair, if anything.”

Guizhong grinned. “Then it’s settled. We’ll do that, then I can play secretary for Zhongli if necessary while you two investigate about that qilin. And who knows, maybe we’ll be four today for dinner. Wouldn’t that be nice? I was always curious what your mother was like!”

He could feel the brunettes hand on his knee tighten again, probably because he still didn’t want to get his hopes up. Carefully, he started tracing his fingers again, feeling him relax a little bit. Huh, that worked to calm him down a little, it seemed.

Of course, he was curious as well. But a little bit anxious too, because if it really was Zhongli’s mother, he wanted to make a good impression. He wanted her to like him. Even if he was who and what he was. She would be someone incredibly important to Zhongli, and Zhongli was very important to him. So there was a small voice inside him that hoped that she wouldn’t hate him.

Chapter Text

A while later, Zhongli and Ajax exited the realm close to the bottom of Mt. Aocang. Zhongli had changed back into his mortal form, much to the snezhnayans displeasure. But of course, he understood why he’d done it. It was the middle of the day, and the chances were good that they might see people on their way.

In a way, Ajax didn’t mind. Because it meant that he was one of the only people that knew what the adeptus truly looked like. Who knew his real beauty. A sight almost nobody was permitted to see, but he was.

It was almost a possessive kind of feeling, knowing that.

“Are you nervous?” He asked softly, looking over at Zhongli. He’d kept the braid, just adjusted to the smaller amount of long hair he had in his mortal form. Which made Ajax happy, he really liked the braid if he did that.

“I am,” the other man confirmed. “It could be her, it could be someone else. I don’t know which would make me more nervous, to be honest. If it is her… there’s these fears that I have. I would have to tell her the truth about my past. What if she despises me for it? What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me because of it? Obviously if that’s the case, I will leave her to do as she pleases and not bother her… But… I… It’s stupid…” He said, sighing softly. He had that troubled expression from earlier again.

“It’s not stupid. It’s understandable that you’d be worried. I mean… I know what it’s like. Coming home to my mother, being a different person than the son that she raised. I know what it’s like to… not be cast out by family, but I was never again treated the same. There was before the abyss, there was after the abyss. Before the abyss, I felt loved by my parents. After… I sometimes think they wished I died in those three days. That it would have been better if they found my dead body than me coming back the way I am.” Ajax admitted quietly.

“You really think that?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes it seems like they are still glad that I’m around, just constantly unsure and tiptoeing around me because they don’t want to set me off and cause ‘an episode’. Since they’re still convinced I’m mentally unstable. I even considered showing my parents and older siblings my foul legacy. Try to prove to them that the abyss is a real place. But… I feel like showing them would do more damage than them thinking I’m mentally ill.”

“Maybe one day they’ll understand. Come around and want to learn.” Zhongli said softly, bending over to pick up some violet grass growing at the cliffside just a little above the ground.

“I don’t think so. But it’s fine. So yeah, I don’t think you being worried about your mothers reaction to everything is dumb. But from what you said about her, I don’t think you have to be worried. If she’s as great as you said, she’ll love you either way. She’ll probably be super proud, her son having become the geo archon.” Ajax said with a light grin.

Zhongli hummed. “Maybe. She doesn’t even know I became a god.”

“She doesn’t?”

“No. She vanished a little while before that happened. She hasn’t seen me since my teenage years.” The adeptus was walking next to him, looking around, scanning the area.

“You… wait. You said she vanished during the archon war. You were a teenager then?” Ajax asked, stunned. Okay yes, Zhongli had said he was about his age when compared to their respective species’ lifespans, but he hadn’t registered just how young that would have made him during the archon war.

The god crossed his arms behind his back while walking, shrugging lightly. “I was. I became a god when it had only been going on for a little while, then became an archon in my late teens, on the cusp to adulthood. Is that so surprising? I mean I know you see me as a geriatric man, but I told you, I’m technically not that old. Comparatively, I was just a little older than when you were in the abyss during that time.”

“Wait, what do you mean I see you as a geriatric man?” The fatuus asked quickly, whipping his head around. Zhongli was many things, but definitely not geriatric.

“Hm? I just figure that’s how I come across to you. That’s why I’m sometimes worried that you find me embarrassing when I act my actual age. Like his morning, which was what I was thinking about. I… was worried that my change of outfit would come across to you like these old men that wear their shirts half unbuttoned and go around flirting with young girls.

I mentioned before that I’m not actually as stiff and uptight as I behave most of the time. That’s what I have started to behave like over time to adhere to the expectations people put on me. I couldn’t act my age, imagine if I did, I wasn’t even a proper adult at the beginning… And well, even if I do tell you that relative to our species, I’m about the same age as you are… that doesn’t mean you see me as that.

I have lived for a long time. So, I understand that even if you know that I technically am your age, developmentally speaking, you probably couldn’t see me like that. Of course, you’d see me as ancient.”

Zhongli didn’t look at him, kicking a small rock into the distance, keeping his eyes trained in front of them. It was quiet and there was nobody around, which he was glad about. This allowed them to talk this freely, after all.

Ajax frowned. “Do you see me as a toddler, then? Considering compared to you, I am incredibly young?”

“Hm? No, of course not. I’m fully aware that you’re an adult. Do… do you feel I treat you like one? Does it come across to you like I don’t take you seriously? I’m not treating you like a child, no? I-I mean I know what we did earlier was silly, but I wasn’t thinking anything like this…”  Zhongli was looking over to him now, with a worried expression.

He’d seen this before, Ajax remembered. When Zhongli had panicked after Ajax had pretended not to know that he was able to say no to meeting up with him. When he had been overthinking about probably every interaction they had, worried that he'd come across forceful. Or that the knowledge of who he was alone was enough to make Ajax too scared to say no.

Quickly, Ajax shook his head. “No, no. I don’t feel treated like one. I was just trying to make a point. Do you feel like I treat you as a geriatric? Because I genuinely don’t see you like that, so if it comes across like that, then there’s something wrong.”

He definitely couldn’t tell the adeptus that he definitely wouldn’t have fallen head over heels in love with him if he saw him that way. Which would make his life easier, sure. But a lot less enjoyable.

“I mean, from your behaviour I didn’t… I just thought you probably would see me like that.” Zhongli admitted softly.

“I don’t. I’ve always seen you as an equal, age-wise. I mean obviously I know that when we’re talking about years, you’re far ahead. But we initially met as normal people, and I thought you’re around my age. Later you told me that it’s still true, speaking from our points in development. So yeah. I don’t see you like that. I see you the way I actually see you with my eyes. A guy around my age. Who just happened to live a lot longer.” The fatuus explained with a grin, bumping his shoulder against the other’s.

“Oh.” The brunette said, looking relieved.

“Yep. So, no need to worry. I don’t think you’re embarrassing or anything. And I actually had a lot of fun earlier, being a little silly with you. It’s good to just have fun and laugh with you.”

“I feel the same, I don’t remember when I last laughed like that. As I said, I was a teenager in the archon war, so I had to act a lot more mature to get taken seriously. And I don’t like that anymore, having to always keep up my appearance like that, if I’m honest.”

“Then don’t. Be yourself, who you really are. Screw other people’s opinions. You’re in a position now, where you can be who you want to be. If you want to let loose a little more and not restrain yourself like that, it’s your chance. I’ll be by your side either way.” Ajax assured.

“Though I have to admit, I like the actual you that I’m getting to know slowly a lot better than back when you still had to watch what you say all the time. I mean I liked you then as well, but it’s different, knowing the actual you.”

There was a soft smile on Zhongli’s lips at his words. He moved over a little, until their arms were brushing against each other, then gently bumped their shoulders together. “Thank you. I like it too, getting to know the actual you.”

Ajax smiled back at him, bumped his shoulder against his. “Good, ‘cause you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

They kept walking for a little bit, until Zhongli’s interest seemed to be piqued by a large cor lapis formation growing out of the mountainside. He put his hands against it, closing his eyes, humming softly.

“There’s a seal behind this cor lapis formation. I can feel the energy coming off it. It’s muted by the cor lapis, I assume that’s why it’s been left alone for so long.” Zhongli said, opening his eyes again.

“That’s a pretty big formation, can you get rid of that?” Ajax asked curiously.

There was a soft laugh coming from the god. “I am the lord of geo, I could level the whole mountain if I wanted to. A chunk of cor lapis isn’t a hindrance for me.”

The brunette crossed his forearms in front of his chest, then quickly pulled them to the sides, a geo sigil appearing in front of his chest. The cor lapis shattered into tiny pieces, revealing a tunnel into the mountain sealed by an intricate, white glowing seal.

Ajax was about to ask Zhongli if he’d be able to remove it, when it dissipated without any sign of the god doing anything. “Huh? How did you do that?”

“I didn’t do anything. The seal likely has worn down over time, the cor lapis simply offered some protection against the natural elemental powers. With that protection gone, even a trace of elemental energy was enough to destroy it.” The adeptus explained, looking back over his shoulder. “Are you coming?”

Ajax quickly jogged over, walking into the tunnel with the brunette.  It was just wide enough for the two of them to walk next to each other, pressing themselves closer to one another at the narrower bits. After a bit, the daylight started to no longer reach them, the tunnel going dark before them.

“Can you summon some hydro in your hands?” Zhongli asked. “If I crystallize it with geo, I can make them glow.”

The fatuus did as he was told, wrapping his hands in hydro energy. Then, the adeptus enclosed his hands with his own. He could feel the geo energy merging with his hydro, creating two palm-sized crystals between their hands, soft blue glow emanating from them.

Zhongli took one into his hand, Ajax keeping the other. They were just bright enough for them to see. His heart was beating quickly in his chest, feeling stupidly happy about the combining of their powers to form these pretty crystals.

Eventually, the tunnel opened up into a small cave. There was a small opening in the ceiling of the cave, which let some light in, making it easier to see. A few wooden crates were stacked to the side, the person sealing themselves here must have brought them. Maybe things important to them?

As Ajax looked around more, he could see a pile of furs on the floor, a person lying on top of them with their back against them. From here, all he could make out was that they were wearing a red robe and that they had long, brown hair. From the lithe body type he figured that it probably was a woman, as Guizhong had said.

Zhongli walked over slowly and knelt down next to her. Ajax followed, staying close to him. The adeptus raised his hand and put it against her neck, feeling for a pulse. He was completely still else, while either searching for it or counting the pulse.

From this angle, he could see her better. She looked calm, asleep. Nestled between her brown hair were red and black horns, just like the ones Ganyu had. Even after all this time, there was red eyeliner around her eyes, her long and dark lashes resting on high cheekbones. Her face was, for the lack of a better word, elegant. She reminded him of a sleeping princess in a fairy-tale, like the ones he used to tell Tonia.

Her hands were folded in front of her face, slender fingers with almond shaped nails, painted in red that matched her robe. On the one hand he could see, she wore two golden rings – one simpler one on her thumb, similar to his own archer rings; the other with a masterfully cut piece of cor lapis on her ring finger. Some filigree gold bracelets were visible on her wrist, and some golden hairpins kept her hair out of her face.

Zhongli let out a shuddered breath, the tension of his shoulders relaxing just a little. “She has a pulse. It’s even, and quite strong. It’s a good sign.”

“That’s good. How… how are you feeling? Is she…?” Ajax asked carefully, his hand coming to rest on the gods shoulder.

“My mother, yes…” Zhongli said, sounding a little shaky. “I’m… good. Nervous still. Happy, because I spent so long thinking she’s dead and that I had no family left in this world. I don’t think the nervousness is going to go away until I’ve been able to talk to her for a bit, I told you what I’m scared of most of all.”

“I thought so when I saw her face. You look like her.” Ajax said softly.

There were so many small similarities that he had already spotted. The same straight, long and brown hair in the same warm shade. Her high cheekbones and beautiful eyelashes. The same slender and delicate hands, though Zhongli’s with the noticeable strength of a warrior. Even lying there sleeping, she exuded the same kind of gentle strength and confidence that he knew so well from the god.

Zhongli looked up at him a little surprised, then put his hand on top of Ajax’ and squeezed it gently.

They stayed like this for a moment, before Zhongli sighed. “I will have to carry her back, would you mind lighting the way?”

“No problem,” the fatuus said, taking Zhongli’s hands and letting their elemental energies merge into a handful of glowing crystals.

Zhongli picked her up carefully, putting his arms under her shoulders and under her knees. Then Ajax went ahead, lighting the way for them with the crystals. The adeptus followed closely behind him, sometimes walking sideways in the narrow bits, so he wouldn’t accidentally bump his mother against the walls.

Slowly but surely, they made their way towards the exit, Ajax sighed a breath of relief when the daylight became visible again. He wasn’t particularly fond of tunnels and caves ever since he fell into the abyss. But he could cope, especially to help Zhongli with something this important.

When they got back to the realm entrance, he could spot an abandoned treasure hunter camp a bit further. He could already see the cart that stood there, along with other things like a ripped up tent and some empty crates. He got an idea.

“Hey, you go ahead with her. I’ll follow in just a bit.” He said, knowing what he had to do.

“Are you sure? Is everything alright?” Zhongli asked, looking at him inquisitively.

“Yes, yes! I just saw a treasure hunter camp, and I want to make sure they’re gone.” He wasn’t completely lying.

But he knew if he told Zhongli what he actually was going to do, he wouldn’t let him. Because he noticed how the brunette often felt bad when someone tried to do something for him. Especially if it was something he considered to be his own responsibility.

“Fine. But be careful. And if anything happens, call out- “

“Your name. I know. I promise, I’ll be careful. I’m 90% sure they’re gone for good, just double checking. Go get her settled, I’ll be back home in maybe fifteen minutes, half an hour tops. I promise.” The fatuus assured with a smile.

Zhongli sighed and nodded. “Good. I expect you back home in one piece.” He replied, shaking his head a little and walked through the portal.

Ajax could feel heat rise in his face. “I’ll be back home”?! Oh Celestia, what was Zhongli thinking of him right now? How… the audacity of him to say this?! He hoped the adeptus wasn’t mad at him for saying this, he had just said it without thinking.

Even if… even if it was true, he did feel at home in the realm. With Zhongli. And Guizhong as well. But as comfortable and happy he felt there, it wasn’t really his home. Even if Zhongli had told him he could stay for as long as he liked, someday he’d have to leave for one reason or another.

And he didn’t want to come across rude, didn’t want Zhongli to think he was making himself too comfortable there. He was still only a guest. But he had said it too, that he expected him back home in one piece… He shook his head, trying not to think too hard about these things. He’d promised he’d be back soon, so he should hurry up.

He made his way to the abandoned camp, happy to find the cart was still in good condition. And there was a lantern as well. Even if the glass was broken a bit on one side, it would still be fine to use. And he always kept matches with him. Carefully he placed the lantern into the cart, then wheeled it over to the cave entrance.

There, he lit the lantern up and walked into the tunnel with it, until he reached the cave. He carefully picked up the first crate, stacking the lantern on top of it. Like this, he balanced it until he reached the entrance, putting the crate onto the cart.

He didn’t want to leave them there unattended. The treasure hunter camp was abandoned, but that didn’t mean other groups wouldn’t come through. This general area was popular with them, and the broken chunk of cor lapis and the cave entrance would surely immediately catch their attention. And he didn’t want these crates to get stolen, who knew how important the things inside here were to Zhongli’s mother, and him as well.

Ajax kept going like this for a while, getting crate after crate, until he had them all stacked neatly onto the cart. It was then that he realized that it was too heavy to pull with all the added weight. With a groan, he tried again, but it wouldn’t budge.

So, he quickly decided to change his tactics. He concentrated, summoning the abyssal powers within him and using his foul legacy transformation. In this form, he was much stronger after all, and his body wasn’t limited the same way a human body was.

Like this, he made quick work of the cart, pulling it to the realm entrance and through it. He pulled it to the front of the stairs, then let go of his foul legacy. Swiftly, he ran up the front stairs and opened the front door wide, making sure it would stay open.

Ajax didn’t want to keep the crates outside. Zhongli had told him that it could rain in here as well after all, and he didn’t want anything to get damaged. Who knew how important the things inside were? Things that had belonged to Zhongli’s parents or himself a long time ago. Maybe childhood possessions and mementos. Things of unspeakable emotional value. They surely had to be, if a woman as lithe as her had carried them all inside and sealed them with her.

Carefully, he carried crate after crate up the stairs and inside the entrance hall, stacking them close to the wall next to the door. The important thing was, that they were inside and safe. Zhongli and his mother could go through them at a later time, or they could just put them somewhere else. But here, they were safe.

He walked to the kitchen, finding it empty, a pot of vegetable soup simmering away on a low fire. Guizhong was probably with Zhongli then, checking on his mother. Should he go and join them? Or should he wait here? He hated not knowing how to react in these situations.

He stirred the soup a bit, making sure nothing was sticking to the bottom of the pot. His shoulder reminded him with a painful jolt of what he did earlier, but he ignored it. Maybe he’d ask Zhongli about the oils later. If the opportunity presented itself. If not, he’d just tough it out, he’d done that for years after all. Though the oils did help him quite a bit and had been pleasant.

The door to the kitchen opened, revealing a hurried looking Guizhong. “You’re back?”

“Uhm, yeah. I said it would only be a little bit. Is that… should I not have come? Zhongli said… but I can go again, of course.” Ajax said, reeling a little. Shouldn’t he have come back after all? The adeptus told him to come back. So why was she reacting like that?

“What, no. That’s not what I meant, sorry. I was just in a hurry, I went to check on Zhongli’s mother when he came in, and I completely forgot about the soup. I didn’t think you’d be back already. Much less in here, checking on my soup from what it looks like?” She said, shaking her head.

“Oh. Yes, yes. I came in to see if you’re here and saw the soup. I figured you’d be with them, and just thought I’d stir a bit, make sure nothing sticks or burns. How is she?”

“She’ll be fine. Still asleep, but that’s to be expected. It’s better for her to wake up at her own pace. Trying to force it could be damaging for her. It’s like how people say that you shouldn’t wake someone who sleepwalks.” The woman explained, taking handfuls of cut cabbage and adding them into the soup.

“And how is Zhongli?” He asked carefully. He had been pretty shaken earlier after all.

Guizhong sighed softly. “Torn. Happy and thankful. But I can see that he’s worried about something too.”

“He’s… scared that she’ll want nothing to do with him. Because of what happened during the archon war,” the fatuus replied. He could tell her that, right? She was Zhongli’s friend after all, he probably would have told her himself too.

“He’s always so hard on himself, that stubborn blockhead. Always thinks he’s the worst. She won’t be like that, we all know how the archon war was. Kill, or be killed.” Guizhong stirred the soup some more, shaking her head. “You should go to him. They’re in the room right next to mine.”

“Ah… He probably wants some time alone with her. If I’m bothering you, I can just go sit outside or do something else…”

The goddess looked at him over the pot, her gaze intense and her eyebrows slightly raised. “Childe. If I’ve learnt one thing in these few days that I’ve been back, it’s that you are like a miracle cure for him. I’ve seen first-hand how you can calm him down when his thoughts and emotions start to become overwhelming for him. I think it would do him good, have you by his side when he’s this anxious.”

Chapter Text

Zhongli had pulled one of the chairs in the room to the side of his bed. His mother laid there, peacefully sleeping. His heart hadn’t stopped beating too fast, ever since they left for Mt. Aocang. Even worse so since he saw her.

She looked exactly like he remembered her. He used to think that he didn’t look much like her, safe for the brown of his hair. But it seemed like Ajax found several similarities, considering he told him he looked like her earlier.

He honestly didn’t think he would have been able to do all this so calmly, if Ajax hadn’t been with him. Staying by his side the entire time, until he decided to check out the treasure hunter camp. He hoped he was fine. Stupidly, he was missing him already. If he’d be here now, he’d feel calmer for sure.

Guizhong had left a little bit ago to check on her soup. He appreciated her making dinner, and even thinking about qilin being vegetarians. How lucky was he, to have people like her and Ajax in his life? He was incredibly grateful.

When the door behind him opened quietly, he was sure that Guizhong was back from checking on dinner. But to his surprise, when he turned around, he spotted auburn hair, his heart fluttering with joy. Ajax was back, and he looked unharmed!

“Hey,” the fatuus said, closing the door behind himself quietly.

“Hey. Everything alright? Back unharmed?” Zhongli asked, needing to know.

“Of course. Don’t worry about it, it was nothing. I’m not disturbing you, am I? It’s fine if you rather want to be alone with her…” Ajax replied, hand still on the doorhandle, ready to leave again if he was unwanted.

“No, not at all disturbing me. I… I would appreciate your company a lot. But you don’t have to, of course.” Ajax surely had better things to do than sit here with him, next to his sleeping mother.

To his surprise, the ginger walked over and carefully moved the second chair right next to his own, sitting down. So close, that their arms and thighs were brushing. Not that this bothered him the slightest, on the contrary. Any contact with Ajax was good, even the lightest brush.

“I want to.” He said firmly, lightly nudging their knees together.

“Thank you.” Zhongli looked at him, feeling warmth blossom in his chest. Oh, how much he loved him.

“Anything,” the snezhnayan replied easily, smiling softly.

They sat in silence for a little while, watching his mother sleep. He wondered how long it would take her to wake up. Guizhong had said that it would be best not to try and wake her, waking up slowly by herself would be the healthier option.

He couldn’t help but wonder what would happen once she was awake. At first, she probably would be happy to see him. And part of him just wanted to bask in this for a little bit, have his mother back, gentle and loving as she had been when he was a child. But it wasn’t fair to her. He would have to tell her what he’d done as soon as possible, so she could make a proper decision. She deserved to know.

As loving as he remembered her to be, he was scared of the consequences. Scared of no longer being her son for her. Getting her back and losing her again immediately. He already had brought so much disgrace to his qilin side after all.

All these years he kept saying that he hadn’t inherited much from her. And in a way, he hated it, because he always admired his mother. He would have loved to be more like her. But even his physical traits were mostly draconic, so he knew as a child already, that he wasn’t much of a qilin.

Even if he never questioned his mother’s love, he always wondered if secretly she wouldn’t have preferred a child who was more like her. He didn’t know why his parents never had another child. Maybe they tried, maybe his mother was hoping for a more qilin-like son or daughter, and it just never worked out.

He was pulled from his train of thought when he could feel warm touch on his right hand. Ajax had taken it from where it was resting on his thigh, and carefully laced their fingers together. The ginger looked at him a bit questioning. Was he silently asking for permission? Gently, Zhongli squeezed his hand, smiling at him.

“Don’t worry too much. I know it’s hard, we both worry too much all the time. But the best thing you can do is take one step at a time and see where it leads you,” the fatuus said.

“I know… I just can’t help it. My thoughts keep going in circles. Worrying about everything. About her, about how she’ll see me once she knows all I did… And worrying about those crates too, I shouldn’t have left them like this. I think I’ll go back later to seal the entrance again, then I can go get them sometime. I don’t want anyone to get to them…”

“Don’t worry about them. They’re safe, stacked neatly in the entrance hall next to the front door.” Ajax replied, his thumb rubbing circles onto the back of Zhongli’s hand. Oh, how nice that felt.

“What? How did you– why – your shoulder! You’re going to be in pain!” the god groaned.

“I didn’t want to leave them there either. And the treasure hunter camp had a lantern and a cart, so I stacked them on there and pulled them here using my foul legacy.”

Zhongli sighed. “Is that why you really stayed behind?”

“Yeah… I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t let me. I didn’t want you to worry about them, or anyone getting to them. And I wanted you to bring her back here and get her settled in peace. It wasn’t difficult.” Ajax replied, gently squeezing his hands for assurance.

“Still. I’m going to apply the oil later, just in case. It did help a bit, right?” The god asked, shaking his head a little bit.

“Mhm, it did. If you don’t mind, that would be nice,” the fatuus admitted.

“As if I’d ever mind.” He would never have a problem helping him. And he would never let go of an excuse to touch him. Run his fingers along his beautiful freckles, feeling the strength of his muscles. Getting to do something only a family member or partner would be allowed to do else.

Ajax smiled. “Thank you.”

He just shook his head. “No need to thank me for that, it’s nothing. I told you, I’m more than happy to do this for you if it helps.”

They kept sitting like this for a while, holding hands and observing his mother. He felt considerably better, having Ajax with him. His presence made him feel a little bit calmer. Of course, he was still anxious. But his thoughts had stopped spiralling around the scenario of his mother hating him once she found out what he’d done.

His right hand was linked with Ajax’. His left hand rested on his mother’s, lightly holding it. Something in him hoped she would feel his touch, hoped it would make her wake up faster. Even if waking up faster might mean that he got to be around her for less time. As long as she was alive and well, he would be happy.

Even if she wouldn’t want anything to do with him. He would let her stay here as long as she wanted to, doing his best to not be in the way, so she could recuperate properly. And then she would be free to leave wherever she wanted to go. Would she even want him to refer to her as his mother still, once she knew? Or would she want him to call her by her name?

Suddenly, he could feel her fingers twitch, making his heart skip a beat. Just a moment later, he felt it again. Her breathing got a little bit deeper, a sigh leaving her lips.

“Is she waking up?” Ajax asked quietly.

“I believe so. Her fingers moved under mine, twice now. Ah, I already gave her a geo sigil. So, you’ll both understand each other.”

Gently, Ajax bumped his shoulder against his. “Great. You’ll have your mom back. I’m happy for you.”

“If all goes well… Thank you.”

“I’m sure it will. She’s your mother. I’m sure she’s just as nice as you are, so she’ll be over the moon to have you back. She won’t even waste a thought about something like not accepting you.” The fatuus sounded so sure.

“Why are you so sure about this?” He asked. Because he wasn’t, and this woman had raised him.

Ajax looked at him as if the answer was obvious. “She’s your mother. You had no trouble accepting me even with my abyss influence. So, I’m sure she’s just as accepting as you are.”

Zhongli stared at him for a moment. He sounded so absolutely, completely sure. As if there was zero chance that it wouldn’t be like he said. As if he didn’t doubt that his mother would be happy and that it wouldn’t even occur to her to not love him, even after everything he had done.

“Mo..rax…” She said, her voice barely audible. She wasn’t awake yet, but probably close to waking up.

“I’m here, mama.” He said just as quiet, feeling his heart pound in his chest. He hadn’t heard her voice in millennia.

The god could feel Ajax hold his hand tighter, and under his other hand, his mother’s fingers twitched again. He shifted his hand a little, so it wouldn’t just rest on hers, and instead held her hand, gently squeezing her hand hoping she would notice it.

“Everything is alright. You’re safe here. The war is long over.” He didn’t even know if she could hear him. Yet he still kept talking. Hoping that a part of her registered the words. “You don’t have to be scared anymore. You can wake up, the world is peaceful. You made it to the other side of the war.”

Her eyelids were twitching now too, then eventually fluttered open slowly. Zhongli took a deep breath, both relieved and anxious. She was awake. She would be fine. Her head moved to the side, looking over to him.

“Morax?” Her voice sounded a little raspy, Zhongli quickly squeezed her hand.

“I’m here.” He assured. When they arrived back here, he had dropped his transformations, thinking it might be easier for her. Sure, as an adult he still looked different. But his mortal form was quite different, so she might not recognize him as well.

He could feel Ajax brush along his back. “Be right back,” he said quietly, and Zhongli could hear the door open and close. His anxiety was spiking a little, being alone with her. But he said he’d be right back.

His mother took a shivered breath, her hazel eyes looking a bit watery. “My son. My beautiful son…” Her other hand reached out towards him, cupping his cheek. He could feel his heart constrict painfully. “All grown up…”

The adeptus smiled at her gently, nestling his face against her hand. How long had it been since he last felt her touch? He swallowed, his throat feeling painfully tight. “Welcome back, mama.”

She coughed a little, but he could still hear the door opening again. Ajax walked to his left side, handing his mother a glass of water. She tried to take it, having a bit trouble with it.

“Ah, wait, let me… careful.” The fatuus said softly, holding the glass for her and helping her drink. It made Zhongli feel warm with affection for him. So, he’d gone to fetch her some water? And now was helping her drink? How sweet was this man, doing this for his mother, who was a complete stranger for him?

“Thank you,” his mother said, sounding quite a bit better now. She slowly sat up against the pillows, so she was in a half-sitting half-lying position.

“I’ll put this here, I brought a pitcher…” Ajax murmured, putting the glass on the bedside table, where Zhongli only now noticed one of the smaller pitchers. The ginger moved, sitting down next to him again.

“Thank you,” Zhongli told him softly, resisting the urge to kiss his cheek or forehead with how warm and full he felt with affection for him.

Ajax only waved his hand dismissively. “It’s nothing.”

“Where am I? How long has it been?” She asked softly, looking around the room a bit.

“In my abode. And it has been around 4000 years. The archon war is long over, but sadly I only learnt about you today. If only I had heard sooner… I’m sorry. I failed you.”

She smiled at him gently, the way she had always done when he was still younger. “Nonsense. You’re still alive, how would you have failed me? I couldn’t be happier, getting to see you again. My beloved son, if anything I have failed you. I should have kept looking for you, how lonely you must have felt all these years. I’m the one who has to apologize.”

“It was a dangerous time, I understand why you did it. And you survived like this. You made it to peace.” He said, gently squeezing her hand. “You won’t have to worry about anything anymore. Liyue is peaceful and prosperous.”

His mother sighed, looking relieved. “So, the one who won the archon war here is a good person? The people have a good life under their rule? I’m glad. There were so many cruel gods trying to get that title, I was scared someone horrible would become Liyue’s archon…”

Zhongli didn’t quite feel able to answer. Was he a good person? He didn’t really think so, not for a long time. But there probably would have been worse options than him. And he always tried his best for his people.

“Oh, your hands! How pretty! Is this a transformation?” She asked, looking at his hands closely, her fingers brushing over the geo lines.

“Ah, no. They look like this now. I… I received them when I became a god.”

“You… became a god? When did this happen, you- not during the war? You didn’t participate, right?” She looked at him wide-eyed, unsure if she was upset or rather worried about it.

“A little while after I could no longer find you. I… I received the title of the lord of geo. Hence my arms, the lines are pure geo energy. Later I… I got more titles, god of contracts, of history, of wealth and commerce… the warrior god.” Zhongli admitted quietly, swallowing hard. “And finally… the geo archon.”

He could feel Ajax’ hand coming to rest on his right knee, it’s weight and warmth reassuring him. Yes, he had done awful things in the war. But ever since he’d become an archon, he also had done everything in his power to make life good and prosperous for the people of Liyue. That had to count for something, right?

Hazel eyes widened even further in surprise, her eyebrows raised. “You… you won the archon war for Liyue?”

“I did. I couldn’t sit and watch how the most tyrannical gods were trying to gain this kind of power. So I took them all on, until I was the last one left standing.”  He explained, hoping she would not be too upset.

He just wanted to get this over with right now. She had a right to know immediately, being able to make her choice. Leaving her in the dark for even just a few minutes felt wrong. Yes, he wanted to be selfish, have his loving mother for a few minutes before she would come to hate him. But it wasn’t fair towards her, and he couldn’t hurt his sweet mother like that.

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “You… ugh, I can’t believe you!”

“I’m sorry. I know I brought shame over my… your qilin blood running through my veins… with participating in this war. I… I have not considered myself to be a qilin for a long time, for what it’s worth, because I know it goes against every ideal you ever taught me.”

Zhongli took a deep breath, continuing. He had to. “There was a time where I became so desensitized to the slaughter, that I forgot the value of life. And I am sorry, and deeply ashamed of this. I… I understand if you can no longer consider me your son. I will accept any consequences. If… If you don’t want anything to do with me at all, I understand.

That’s why I’m telling you right now, so you can think about it and make your choice. I don’t want to deceive you. I don’t deserve being treated like your son when it’s because you don’t know about this. All I ask is that even if you don’t want to see me again, please stay for a few days until you’ve recovered a bit. I will make sure no to be in your way…”

The god could no longer manage to look at her, looking at the floor instead. Ajax’ hand held his knee tighter, gently squeezing like they often did. Reassuring him, that he was there, no matter what would happen. A promise of unconditional support.

“You think I’m upset that you participated – and won – because you had to kill? Morax, you could have done something much worse! Gotten yourself killed! You think I didn’t have to go against my own ideals during that time? Almost every qilin living then had to. The ones that didn’t, didn’t survive the start of the war. And I assume that only got worse over time. The things you had to go through in order to survive, that’s what makes my heart ache, my son.”

He could feel her gentle touch at the top of his head, caressing over his hair. “You made a dangerous choice out of the goodness of your heart. Because you wanted to protect everyone from having a tyrant as their archon. And you said the people have a good life under your rule. Which I am sure they do, you are my son after all. And as a mother, I don’t think I could be any prouder. I can’t wait to hear everything and see for myself what you have made from Liyue in all these years.”

Zhongli could feel his eyes burn. When he looked up at her, she was smiling at him, gentle and soft like she always did when he was younger. The loving and doting mother he remembered and missed every single day.

“Even if you have made mistakes along the way, my son, that does not diminish your kindness. And I always knew that you were something special, destined for greatness. Though it seems I couldn’t fathom just how important you would be.” She said with a soft laugh.

“You aren’t mad at me? Ashamed of me? Not at all?” He asked, feeling his voice almost crack. He felt like a child again, when he’d get upset over something and go seek reassurance and comfort with his parents.

She shook her head, brushing her fingers through his bangs. “No such thing. Upset at the thought that you probably got hurt and I wasn’t there to help. Upset that I missed so many years of your life. But certainly not mad or ashamed. You are my precious son, and I love you.”

Zhongli couldn’t help himself. He moved forwards, hugging her carefully, pressing his face against the bend of her neck and shoulder. His eyes felt hot and burning, his throat and chest felt tight. But he resisted the urge to cry, even when he felt her kiss his hair and brush her hands over his shoulder, telling him with a whisper that everything was going to be alright now.

Chapter Text

Zhongli sat back into the chair next to him, looking like immense relief was washing over him. His mother still loved him. Was proud of him, even. Ajax felt happy for him.

He felt a little stupid about having gone to fetch water. In the moment, it had felt like the right thing to do, she seemed to struggle with talking. But then he realized that he had interrupted their moment, stupidly helped her drink as if she wasn’t able to. Oh Celestia, what must she think of him? Couldn’t he live without being embarrassing?

“So… Are you going to introduce your partner to me? Such a gentleman, thank you very much for the water. I’m feeling a lot better since,” she said with a sweet smile.

Ajax felt heat shoot into his face, desperately hoping he wasn’t furiously blushing and absolutely obvious about his one-sided feelings. His pale complexion be damned, because he knew how well even the lightest flush was visible on him.

 “N-Not my partner, no. This is Childe, my dear friend. My best friend. He went with me to look for you.” Zhongli explained, obviously thrown off by his mother’s assumption. Of course he was thrown off. The god was way out of his league and that was obvious.

“And stayed as moral support. It’s nice to meet you, Ma’am.” Ajax said with a pleasant smile, hoping to help the other man out a bit, even when his heart constricted painfully.

Oh what wouldn’t he give to be able to introduce himself as Zhongli’s partner? Heck, not even his one, he’d be fine if it even was just a platonic relationship with no romantic feelings on Zhongli’s side. Just mutual companionship, trust and care.

His mother laughed softly. “I see. Ah, no reason to be so formal. My name is Lian, it’s nice to meet you as well. I’m happy Morax has someone that he can rely on. He’s always been hard on himself and felt like he had to carry all his burdens alone. It’s good to know he has someone as caring as you by his side.”

“Oh no, no. You’re giving me far too much credit. I can rely on him just as much, if not more. And he’s always looking out for me as well.” He replied, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

Somehow the way she spoke reminded him of Zhongli. And he always said he came more after his father. Even though Ajax didn’t know his father, he couldn’t really agree. Just from the short time since finding Lian in the cave, he’d found several similarities.

“She’s right though. I am incredibly lucky to have you as my friend. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and I thank whatever stars have aligned for us.” Zhongli said, giving him a soft smile.

Oh his heart. This smile wasn’t good for his heart. It made him want to lean over and kiss him until both of them were breathless. But he couldn’t. Not ever. It would never be his place, no matter how much he yearned.

“Come on, I’m the lucky one. I get to have you as my best friend. You understand me so well, always take me seriously, and make me feel better.” Ajax said, shaking his head. If anyone here was truly lucky, it was him.

“Aww, you two are so sweet,” Lian cooed. “What a pity, you would make an adorable couple. But best friends are important too!”

“Mama!” Zhongli said exasperatedly, clearly embarrassed by her words.

Ajax could feel the heat in his face again, praying to his goddess that he wasn’t blushing. How did she get that idea? Zhongli was obviously way too good for him. And he would never love someone as plain as him. Whoever stole his heart a long time ago, had to be absolutely gorgeous.

When he thought about what someone had to be like to be worthy of Zhongli, quite the opposite of himself came to mind. Stunningly beautiful, soft-spoken, gentle and caring, kind to their core. Someone who would make him laugh and would distract him from the painful thoughts and memories.

Maybe Zhongli would like to go travelling, now that he was retired, then they’d have to be someone who enjoys travelling and other cultures. Someone who loves to learn and is incredibly intelligent. Someone who loved reading ad learning. And who loved to talk and would be excited to listen to all the stories he could tell.

Someone who would accept him the way he was, would love every facet of his being. Who would feel like Home to the god, comfort and safety personified. Someone who would make Zhongli feel the way he made Ajax feel. Where every moment spent together felt precious.

Of course, Ajax knew that some of these things applied to him. But he wasn’t good enough, even if Zhongli didn’t only love once in his life. He was an abyss monster. The cryo archons vanguard. Zhongli would need someone who could give him stability, who would be able to stand by his side through anything. Ajax didn’t know much about stability, except that Zhongli was the one giving it to him. Which was the opposite of how it should be. Zhongli deserved someone who would be his anchor, after he had been his nation’s anchor for so long.

And with how embarrassed the adeptus sounded, he clearly wasn’t fond of the idea either. Of course not. As much as he said that he liked Ajax, as important he was to him… The idea of Zhongli loving him was ridiculous on many levels. And surely, the idea pained Zhongli, considering he’d lost his loved one.

Surely, as soon as he would leave for work again, they would speak about that person. Zhongli would want his mother to know everything about them. Then she would realize how wrong she had been, thinking that someone like Ajax was Zhongli’s partner.

At least her assumption had to mean that her first impression of him wasn’t terrible. Which, well, there was a lot of time to change that still. The more she would get to know him, she’d probably wonder why Zhongli associated with him in the first place. She was such a sweet person, of course she would worry about her son spending time with an abyss monster.

He knew it was stupid, but it made his fears act up. What if Zhongli wouldn’t want to worry his mother? What if he decided that it really was better if they stopped spending time with each other? Well he would just… go back to his old life. Leave Ajax behind and put the masks back on. What other choice did he have? Without the adeptus, he was only Tartaglia and Childe.

Go back to the cold, where he no longer felt like he belonged. Trying to shroud his heart in layers of ice again. More of them and thicker ones this time, never to be melted again. Hoping that the ache in his heart would one day fade.

He didn’t want that life.

He wanted to stay in Liyue, wanted to spend his time with Zhongli. If he could, he would bring his siblings here. Maybe they would be happy here as well. At this point he started to resent being a harbinger. When exactly did that happen? He knew why it happened though. Because he learnt of a better life. But this wasn’t his life to have permanently. He couldn’t stay here in the gods realm forever. He was a guest, and guests needed to leave sooner or later.

What was he even still doing here? Lian was awake, Zhongli no longer had anything to be nervous about. He was of no use right now. And surely the adeptus would be busy for the next while, catching up with his mother. He had wanted him around with Guizhong, but this was his mother. A completely different magnitude of a reunion.

Suddenly, he felt Zhongli’s hand on his arm, warm pressure, his fingers lightly brushing. “Are you okay? You were spacing out…”

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about a few things. I’m sorry, how embarrassing,” he said, ducking his head a little. Way to ruin Lian’s first impression within moments. She probably was already wondering why Zhongli was wasting his time with him.

“I know that look. You look the same as you did a few days ago, when Guizhong came back and you wondered if you should leave.” The other man said softly. “Stop thinking like that. I want you around. Except you feel uncomfortable and would rather leave of course.”

“I just want you to be able to properly spend time with your mother. You haven’t seen her in so long. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep me around the whole time, just because I don’t have anyone else. I can go and work, it’s no problem.” Ajax replied quietly, feeling embarrassed at being called out like this. Especially in front of Lian. He just wanted to make a good impression on her, why couldn’t he do that for once?

Zhongli sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. A gesture that was usually reserved for Hu Tao, whenever she came up with new antics. “Childe.”

The name sounded weird now when Zhongli said it. He’d gotten used to being called by his birth name by him. He sounded annoyed. Did he annoy him? That wasn’t good. Because people didn’t like being annoyed. Most people would get rid of what was annoying them quickly.

He didn’t even know where this anxiety came from. Well yes, he did know. But why it was getting worse all of a sudden. Was it because they had gotten closer to each other? Because he no longer felt happy with his harbinger life? Was he now even more scared of losing all of this, of doing or saying something wrong and making Zhongli leave? Even when he’d promised he’d always be around, Ajax could still do plenty to drive him away.

He didn’t know what to say, not when Zhongli was annoyed with him. It hurt. Of course he wanted to stay. But he also didn’t want to be in the way of Zhongli finally bonding with his mother again. And he felt ridiculous, having this conversation right in front of her. For a moment he even wondered if Guizhong had been joking earlier, saying that he was some kind of miracle cure for Zhongli’s nerves. Surely he wasn’t, not if he managed to annoy him now.

“Take a deep breath,” Lian said softly.

Great, now she had to help Zhongli with his annoyance over him. Going from “what a sweet best friend” to “the guy who’s annoying my son” in less than 5 Minutes.

She chuckled quietly. “I mean you, Childe. Take a deep breath. You’re overthinking. My husband used to be like that too, Morax was as well when he was younger. Still is, I would guess. Trust me, it helps a little. And there is nothing to worry about. I don’t think either of us thinks you’re in the way or anything, no?”

“Never. I told him, I always want him around. As if he’d disturb us with anything.” Zhongli said next to him, sounding less annoyed than before. More… worried? No, right?

“And I would love to get to know you as well, seeing as you’re his friend. You surely play an important part in his life, when you’re so close to him that you came along to get me and stayed here with him until I woke up.”

Zhongli sighed. “We aren’t like the other people. We won’t use you only to discard you. I’m just happy having you here with me, having you around.”

“Sorry,” Ajax said quietly. He didn’t want them to feel bad.

“Don’t be. Worrying is normal. But too much of it isn’t good for you. Now come, don’t look sad like that, there is no reason to.” Lian said gently, almost motherly. It reminded him of how his mother used to cheer him up when he was younger. When she still loved him.

The door opened quietly. “I know I’m way too early, it’s only like four, but dinner is rea- oh, she’s awake,” Guizhong gasped softly.

“Ah, come in. Mama, this is Guizhong. Another good friend of mine.” Zhongli explained.

“Oh come on, more like your annoying not-blood-related little sister,” she said with a grin, walking up to the bed.

Lian laughed, shaking her head fondly. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Lian.”

“Nice to meet you too! I made vegetable soup for dinner, qilin are vegetarians, right?” The dust goddess said in her usual cheerful manner.

The brunette woman nodded, smiling gently. “Yes, we are. How lovely to see that Morax has friends that are so thoughtful and caring. I’m really glad.”

“The blockhead needs people to take care of him. I mean he can manage alone, but that’s not healthy for anyone. Dragons and qilin both are big with community, no? So you can’t tell me being all by himself for a long time was good for him.” Guizhong said, shaking her head. “But it seems now he has plenty of people for company. Sooo… early dinner? I’ll go and set everything up. You’ll eat as well, right? You must be starving!”

“I would love to, if there’s enough,” Lian replied with a smile. “If not, it’s fine of course.”

“No, no, I counted you in already. Trust me, I made soup for a small army, there’s more than enough.” Guizhong said, walking out of the door again.

“Can you walk? Else I’ll carry you,” Zhongli said, getting up. Ajax got up as well, unsure if he should wait and walk with them or go ahead already. Why couldn’t he be one of those people that naturally knew what to do? Tartaglia knew how to pretend to be like that. But Ajax always felt out of his depth.

Lian swung her legs over the side of the bed, until her feet reached the floor. “Don’t worry, I should manage. Maybe a little wobbly at first, but I’m sure you two strong boys won’t mind if I lean on you a little.”

“Not at all, mama,” Zhongli said, watching her slowly get up.

She did wobble a little, and being closest to her and completely out of reflex, Ajax reached out to help her steady herself. He didn’t want her to fall down and hurt herself.

The qilin chuckled, holding onto his biceps carefully with her slender hands. “Aww, thank you. Such a sweetheart, aren’t you? Are you going to help me then, do you mind?”

“N-Not at all, no.” He was so tempted to just put on his Tartaglia mask again. Maybe that would make things easier. But he knew Zhongli would see right through him, he always did. Ajax was sure he came to understand the subtle differences between how Tartaglia and Childe acted from Ajax.

So he slowly, carefully guided her out of the room, Zhongli trailing right next to them. He could feel how she got a little steadier gradually, but still leaned on him for support. Like this, they walked to the kitchen.

“I set everything up in the dining room. The stools for the counter don’t have backs, I thought it might be better for Lian to sit in an actual chair and being able to lean against the back a bit,” Guizhong explained when they entered, trying to lift the soup pot off the stove.

“Oof, Zhongli, be a dear and help me? This is too heavy for me.” The goddess groaned with effort, laughing and trying again. “Nope, doesn’t budge at all. I’m too weak.”

Zhongli walked over to help her, while Ajax guided Lian to the dining room and helped her sit down in one of the chairs.

“Thank you. Ah, why did she call Morax ‘Zhongli’?” She asked, looking up at him curiously.

“It’s another name he goes by. I call him that too. And he’s living incognito under mortals, they don’t know who he is.” Ajax explained, standing next to her, unsure which seat to take.

He felt more comfortable taking whichever seat would be left. He wanted Zhongli to be able to pick where he wanted to sit. Probably next to Lian. And he wanted to leave space for them to bring in the soup pot, didn’t want to be in the way.

She nodded, understanding. “I see. Calling him Morax would give everything away. But why are you calling him that in private, with nobody else around?”

“It’s the name he introduced himself with. I’m not… in a position to just call him by that name. It’s reserved for people close to him, I’d say.” He admitted.

And he didn’t think that just as a friend, he would ever be allowed to call him that. Zhongli called him by his birth name, but that was different. He was okay with it, and he had offered after all. If Zhongli would never be comfortable with him using that name, that was his choice and Ajax was okay with it.

Lian made a thoughtful noise. “But you are close to him. You’re his best friend.”

“People closer than that. Family. A lover as well, probably.” He replied, shrugging. He wouldn’t know, after all.

“Probably? You haven’t met his partner?” She asked, raising one of her slender eyebrows. Her hand came up to brush a strand of warm brown hair out of her face.

“Me? No. I don’t know anything about them. All I know in that regard is that he told me that dragons only fall in love once, and when they do, they love them forev-”

“What about that?” Zhongli asked, entering with the soup.

“I was just asking Childe about your partner. I thought as your best friend, he’d probably know them.” Lian said with a gentle smile, tapping onto the table with her nails. “I was just curious, I missed so much after all.”

“There’s nothing to tell. I’m not currently in a relationship.” The god said, almost curtly.

Lian’s smile dropped. “You lost them?”

“I would prefer to talk about such things some other time, mama. Please? I’ll tell you, but now is not the time.” The brunette man said with a sigh, sitting down on the opposite side of his mother.

Which threw Ajax for a bit of a loop, because he expected him to sit down next to Lian. Guizhong waltzed in, sitting down next to her without a thought it seemed. So he quickly walked over and took his place next to Zhongli, watching careful for a sign of disapproval from him.

“Of course, I’m sorry. I was just curious, I shouldn’t have badgered Childe about it, and neither you.” She said quietly, reaching for the teacup in front of her.

“It’s fine, I’m not mad.” Zhongli said, smiling at her.

Guizhong bent over to her, whispering something in her ear that Childe couldn’t understand. Lian looked at Zhongli, raising her eyebrows and looking amused, while Guizhong moved back with a pleased grin.

The adeptus, who probably heard considering his senses were sharper than Ajax’, groaned softly. “Celestia help me,” he muttered under his breath, just barely audible.

Chapter Text

Zhongli knew that he had a problem. He had made Guizhong swear not to talk about his romantic feelings, but apparently he made some kind of mistake. Because she was still able to talk about it, and the oath still stood. He, as the god of contracts, was excellent at getting out of contracts by finding details missing to use as loopholes.

The problem was, Guizhong seemed to be even better at this than him.

His mother looked at him with a knowing look, an amused smile on her face. Her gaze briefly flicked over to Ajax, who was luckily busying himself with filling his bowl. She winked at him, giving him a subtle thumbs-up.

What was that supposed to mean? Did she want to tell him that she was approving of his feelings for Ajax? Not that it mattered, considering he would never act on these feelings. But nevertheless, he guessed, it was good to know that his mother seemed to like the snezhnayan man.

He liked him too, after all. And he wanted his mother to like him. And it seemed like Ajax wanted his mother to like him as well. At least he made quite an effort and seemed to worry about it quite much.

He carefully let his right hand drop under the table, finding Ajax’ knee. Resting his hand right on top of it, squeezing gently, hoping he was able to relax a little bit. After all, he had been very worked up only a little while ago. He hadn’t known how to best help him, it seemed like he still didn’t fully trust that he wanted him around. He would just have to keep reassuring him, that he was welcome here.

Zhongli had been so excited when Ajax had referred to the realm as “home” earlier in the day. It had made him feel giddy that apparently the other man felt so comfortable here that he would say that. Knowing about the gingers insecurities, he made sure to repeat the phrase, hoping to reassure him.

He hoped that one day, Ajax would no longer feel this way. That he would be able to work through his fears of abandonment and being unwanted. Maybe he would be able to help him through those, with just enough time and effort on his part. He wanted to see him happy and well, living life to the fullest and enjoying it.

“This soup is delicious,” his mother praised.

Next to him, Ajax nodded. He could feel how the snezhnayans hand came to rest over his own, then fingers sneaking between his own, intertwining. Oh, how he loved holding hands with him. This was much better than just putting his hand on his knee. Their hands slotted together beautifully, Ajax’ slightly smaller ones feeling perfect against his own.

Guizhong grinned at him over the table, her eyes following the line of his arm downwards. “Thank you. Luckily Zhongli has a very well stocked kitchen.”

“I enjoy cooking, so I try to keep anything around that might be useful. And especially now, that I’m learning new recipes.” Cooking snezhnayan food was starting to become something quite regular, so of course he wanted to make sure he’d have many ingredients around to work with.

“You are? Found some new ones that you’re interested in?” His mother asked with a smile.

She was the one who had initially taught him to cook, when he was still a child. Patiently teaching him how to safely use knives to chop ingredients, then how to work with a fire. His father had been the one teaching him how to work with meats and seafoods.

That had been his mother’s one condition, if they wanted to eat meat, they’d have to prepare it themselves. She didn’t mind being present when people ate meat, she just didn’t eat it herself and didn’t trust herself to prepare it for someone else without accidentally ruining it, considering she wouldn’t be able to taste the dish.

“Childe is teaching me dishes from his homeland occasionally. I’m teaching him liyuen dishes in return.”

“Oh, intriguing. What’s the food from your homeland like, Childe?” She asked, looking at the ginger.

“Mhm… Quite diverse, it all depends on where in the nation you live. I grew up close to the sea and to a forest, so we’d regularly eat fish and sometimes boars if we managed to hunt one down. We raise chickens so there always were eggs and sometimes their meat when they’d get old and stop laying. We’d usually preserve things during the few months where the ground isn’t completely frozen, so things like cheese or pickles and fruit preserves are staple foods.”

His mother hummed, very obviously intrigued, wanting to know more. “Ah, so you’re from somewhere very cold then, if the ground is frozen almost all year?”

Ajax nodded, taking a sip of his tea. “From all the way up north, yes. The village where I grew up is almost at the northernmost point of the continent. After our village, Morepesok, there’s only forest, enough to walk through for days and you wouldn’t reach the end.

After that forest, there’s only icy tundra, where almost nothing grows and only very few animals still live. There’s some tiny remote villages there that have mastered surviving in those conditions. But if anyone else would happen to accidentally get there… It’s so cold, without proper clothing and the specialized knowledge how to survive, you’d freeze to death in maybe half an hour.”

“Terrifying,” Guizhong said softly, shuddering.

Ajax nodded. “It is, yes. I used to be scared about my little siblings running off through the forest and accidentally getting there. But that was before I understood just how vast that forest is. You’d have to walk for a week at least before you’d reach the tundra. And by then… well, let’s just say there’s enough dangerous animals in those forests that a child wouldn’t live for a week…”

His mother looked at him surprised, raising her eyebrows. “Really?” She picked up her teacup and took a sip, her gaze not wandering from Ajax. He knew this expression. She was completely fascinated by the man and his stories, eager to learn more about a land she’d probably never even heard of.

“Oh yes. Wolves and bears. I got lost there once as a child because I ran off into the forest. Once nightfall came, they started chasing me, of course I would have been an easy meal.” He said, almost unbothered.

Understandable in a way, considering he encountered much more terrifying things than wolves and bears afterwards.

“Your parents found you, I assume?” She asked, hazel eyes filled with worry. It warmed Zhongli’s heart, seeing his mother genuinely worry about Ajax. She wouldn’t do that if she hadn’t really already taken a liking to him.

“No, I honestly don’t even know if they even searched for me, now that I think about it. I never asked them. Well, not that it matters,” Ajax said absentmindedly, his thumb slowly brushing over Zhongli’s.

“Wait, how did you make it out alive then? As a child you didn’t have your abyss powers, right? And probably not your vision thing?” Guizhong asked, leaning over a little.

The snezhnayan shrugged, fiddling with his teacup with his other hand. “That day was the day I fell down there. I tripped, fell into a ditch, down into the abyss.”

“How long were you down there? And you said as a child, just how old were you when that happened?” Guizhong asked, looking genuinely shocked. Understandable, he’d felt the same when the Snezhnayan told him these things just a few days ago.

“I was fourteen. Time runs differently in the abyss, one day in the normal world equals one month down there. When I came back, my parents said I had been gone for three days.”

“You spent three months in the abyss as a fourteen year old child?” Guizhong asked with wide eyes, staring at Ajax.

“What’s the abyss?” his mother asked, of course she’d never heard of it. The abyss hadn’t existed back then, or at least not in the form that it did today.

“A horrible place underground. Dangerous, toxic and absolutely deadly. Full of terrifying creatures, everything down there is designed to kill.” Zhongli replied.

Ajax ducked his head a little, looking down at his plate. “You probably already felt that there’s something wrong with me. At least most people who aren’t human do. That’s the abyss taint left on me from then. It became a part of me, with no way of getting rid of it again.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.” Zhongli said firmly, tightening his grip around Ajax’s fingers. “Nothing,” he repeated, putting even more emphasis on it.

Ajax was perfect the way he was. For Zhongli, it didn’t matter that he was partially an abyss creature. He wasn’t at all bothered by his foul legacy. No, he loved this man wholly, with all his facets and every new revelation. In a way, he was glad about his abyss taint. After all it was that what allowed him to be technically immortal. If Zhongli would be watching him and protect him, he would live for a long time.

“I mean, the abyss is evil. I’m sure to people like all of you, heavenly beasts and gods, it must feel awful. Makes me wonder sometimes how you cope, spending so much time with me. Or being so close to me, sitting next to me and all that,” Ajax said quietly.

“You seem to have a wrong idea of how these things work,” Zhongli replied softly, squeezing his hand.

“Yep. We can tell that you have power, but it’s not easy to pinpoint what it is. And it’s not like it feels bad…” Guizhong mused, tapping her nails onto the table.

“Thunderstorm, electricity in the air. Thrashing waves on the open sea.” His mother said with a hum. “You know the twisted feeling you get watching a storm? It’s beautiful and fascinating, this power of nature. But terrifying at the same time, because you don’t know if it’s going to reach you as well.”

“Huh?” Ajax asked looking surprised.

“Yes. That’s what it feels like. Which doesn’t immediately give away abyss powers. It just gives away massive power,” Zhongli explained. “I only understood it had something to do with the abyss because I fought against abyss creatures before. And even then, the feeling of power coming from you isn’t only your abyss powers. It’s your vision and your personal strength as well. It’s all of it accumulated that we can feel.”

Ajax looked up, looking confused. “But.. my goddess, she immediately knew it had to do with the abyss.”

“I would guess… Because back then, fresh out of the abyss, it was more distinctive. Maybe back then, it was easy to pinpoint and say that it feels like abyss powers. Your hydro abilities weren’t the same as they are now either. But by the point I met you, the feeling of power coming from you was much bigger.

Hmm… Think of it like a dish that has a very complex variety of spices used. There’s the main flavor of all of them together that you taste when you eat it. And then if you really concentrate on trying to pick out the individual spices, there’s the flavor of the individual ones.

When I met you, I tasted the whole flavor, but I was curious about the ingredients, and that’s how I found your abyss influence. That’s it, really. It’s not like it’s so noticeable by itself that it’s like a slap to the face or anything. Even when you change into your foul legacy, it isn’t. It feels much more distinctive then, but it’s not bothersome. Terrifying power, but in a fascinating way. Like mama said. It’s nothing bad at all.”

The ginger stared at him for a moment, which made him worried he’d said something wrong and upset him in some way. Which of course, he didn’t want. He was hoping that explaining this to him would help him understand that it wasn’t like his abyss influence was a standout feature of him, more that it was his sheer power altogether.

Because he was very powerful. Zhongli had met many vision holders in his lifetime, and he could count on one hand how many of them had such complete control of their element while also maintaining such flexibility and unpredictability.

Usually, archons did not choose who received their visions. Celestia would give them out according to the archons ideals. On rare occasions though, an archon would request a vision to be given to someone that they personally met and saw potential in.

One such case had been a young girl a few years ago, selling anything she could collect to try and make a living for her family. He had been wandering around in a different disguise at that time, and bought a few things off her. Pearls that she had harvested herself, even when they were imperfect ones. Some days it would be fruits harvested in the wild, or seashells.

The girl always carried herself with an air of confidence, even if her family was poor. He would talk to her sometimes, and once she confided in him that she hoped to make it to wealth one day, so her family would no longer need to worry and her sick parents and her younger siblings would be taken care of. Her tenacity impressed him so much, he asked Celestia to give her a vision.

Some days later, she proudly showed off her shiny new geo vision, creating beautiful cor lapis cristals and flicking them through the air as projectiles. Much to the dismay of a group of young boys, who had frequently made fun of her. They would sport the small bruises on their face as proof of their defeat for the next few days.

Then, when he started to live in Liyue harbor, he met her all grown up. Clothed in the finest quality of liyuen silk, accessorized with gold. The richest mortal woman in all of Liyue, holding the title of the Tianquan of the Qixing.

Creating the jade chamber was already a huge feat, a flying fortress full of luxury in the liyuen sky. But watching her go up against Osial, using any means necessary, made him proud in a way. He had chosen well. She had exceeded any and all of his expectations. Especially watching her sending the jade chamber crashing down towards Osial, reminding him of himself when he would send a meteor down to crush his foes.

Though if he could have predicted her doing that, he would have stepped in before it happened. He felt bad about her sacrificing her life’s work. But at the same time he was happy to know she was willing to do whatever she deemed necessary to defend the liyuen people.

But he still anonymously sent her a crate of high quality cor lapis from his own collection, as a way to apologize.

He often wondered what had been the case for Ajax. Had he been one of Celestia’s picks or had he met another archon in disguise and caught their eye as well, before he fell into the abyss?

“You are a quite extraordinary person, it seems,” his mother mused. He knew her well enough to read her facial expression, and she was utterly fascinated with Ajax. Which made him happy, knowing that his mother found him as interesting as he did and wanted to get to know him better.

“I-I wouldn’t say that,” Ajax quickly replied, shaking his head.

“Of course you wouldn’t. You’re too humble to say that about yourself,” Zhongli said. “But she is right that you are. You just don’t really see it yourself just yet. But maybe one day, you’ll get there.”

Ajax’ cheeks were turning a lovely shade of light pink as he shook his head, sighed and reached for his teacup. His fingers tightened against Zhongli’s, and he couldn’t help but smile at the feeling. He liked this. How sometimes, they would just hold hands for a while, neither of them willing to let go.

Even if Ajax would never love him, they had this. Even if he one day would have to go back to Snezhnaya, they would always be friends. Even if it meant that he’d have to travel to Snezhnaya to see him. He would go anywhere for this man. Follow him to the end of this world and further.

“We aren’t keeping you from anything important, Morax?” His mother asked gently.

“Hm? No, no. I have retired as an archon, and while I do live incognito between mortals, I have taken a few days off of my work.” He explained.

“You retired?”

“I felt it was time that the people of Liyue get to decide things for themselves. They no longer need me to watch over them. Of course, I am ready to step in if there should ever be a threat dire enough. But else, I will enjoy my life without the pressure and expectations of being an archon. I work at a funeral parlor as a consultant, I help with arranging funerals. And I’ve been making a name for myself as someone who knows a lot about Liyue’s history.”

“Huh, that’s quite an uncommon line of work,” she said, smiling. “But I think the most important part is, that you enjoy it.”

“I do. My employer is a young girl, her family has been running the parlor for many, many generations. She is quite dedicated to getting all the rites correct, that’s why she initially hired me.”

“But she has no clue who exactly she hired?”

“No, not at all. Though she does think that I am an adeptus, but so far I’ve never admitted to anything,” he admitted.

“Knowing Hu Tao, she’d probably get a kick out of it if she ever found out she hired the geo archon as her consultant,” Ajax said next to him, lips twitching into a smile. “You can’t tell me she wouldn’t have a laughing fit if you admitted to being an adeptus AND telling her who exactly you are.”

“Probably. I… I don’t even think she’d treat me any differently. I can be wrong of course. But I just get a feeling she’d still tease me even if she knew.” Zhongli said, shaking his head.

That girl was quite the character. And even if he sometimes didn’t know how to deal with her, especially while upholding his cover and the stiff demeanor he’d adopted, he got a feeling that she too would appreciate if he was a little less guarded and strict. She would probably enjoy having him back to work as a person that was a bit more relaxed.

“Oh she absolutely would. She’d have no care in the world if you’re the geo archon. That girl does what she wants.”

“Sounds like someone I’d like to meet,” Guizhong laughed.

“Oh you two would get along. You’d give Zhongli the biggest headache,” Ajax chuckled.

“Oh well, we’d have you to help him get better again. I’m sure with a bit of care of nurse Childe and a nap, he’d feel a lot better again,” she said teasingly.

Zhongli glared at her, hopefully reminding her of her oath. But she just grinned back at him, winking when Ajax wasn’t paying attention to her but rather his soup.

Of course he wouldn’t mind Ajax taking care of him. Taking a nap, maybe cuddled up against him. But Ajax didn’t need to know that. Especially not from Guizhong. This girl was such a gossip, he couldn’t help but sigh. His mother looked at him with an amused smile.

Just what had he gotten himself into?

Chapter Text

Once they were done with their early dinner, there was a knock resounding through the whole place. Zhongli got up and excused himself, going to check on the door of his apartment.

When he came back a few minutes later, he said that a high ranking member of the Qixing had passed away, and that the ferrylady had come to ask him if he was free for assistance. He told her he’d be at the parlor shortly, so he would have to go out for a little while to attend to his duties.

He transformed into his mortal form, much to his mothers amusement. Then fetched his gloves and coat, omitting the vest for once in favor of being at the parlor quicker.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be back soon. It should only take an hour or two, I think.” Zhongli told him quietly.

“Why are you apologizing to me? I know that you might have to go and check up on your job. Such bad timing, now that your mother is back.” Ajax said, frowning and reaching up to fix the other man’s collar, smoothing it down. Then he moved his hand further up, brushing Zhongli’s bangs out of his eyes a little bit.

“Still, I’d rather stay here and spend time with you. Tea and chatting when I’m back? And oil for your shoulder.” The brunette brushed along his shoulder, careful as always.

Ajax nodded and smiled. “I’d love that.”

“Good. I’m sure you’ll find ways to pass your time until I’m back. See you later.” Zhongli said, smiling at him softly, making his heart skip a beat. Then he was turning around and walking out of the front door, leaving him alone in the hallway, heart racing.

Guizhong and Lian had been chatting together in the kitchen, so he decided to pay the training field a visit. He could always use some practice with his bow, he was far from mastering it after all. And Zhongli had mentioned he kept targets in the little shed next to the training field, because he too knew how to use a bow.

He walked there and set up the targets, then summoned his bow and started shooting arrows at them. He’d been using a bow for so long now, and he still wasn’t reliably able to hit the center. It pissed him off quite a bit, because he didn’t know what he did wrong.

Maybe he should ask Zhongli about it sometime. But he had managed to master all other weapons on his own, just the bow seemed to not do what he wanted it to do. But he also didn’t want to give up, because he had mastered any other weapon.

For a while, he just concentrated on the repeated motions of pulling the string and releasing the arrows.

“Here you are,” a gentle voice said, startling him out of his concentration and causing him to let go of his arrow, shooting it in a wide arch over the end of the floating island, down into nothingness.

“Oops, I didn’t intend to startle you like that. I’m sorry,” Lian said with a soft laugh. “Qilin walk soundless, so of course you wouldn’t have heard me coming.”

“Ah, it’s fine, no worries.” Ajax replied quickly, lowering his bow.

“You’re an archer. I thought so when I saw your thumb rings.” She hummed, walking closer.

“I wouldn’t say I’m an archer, I’m not really any good yet. I’ve been practicing for a while and can’t seem to get it right. I didn’t have problems learning how to use any other weapon, but bows seem to be quite difficult…”

Lian made a thoughtful noise, and with golden glow, summoned an intricately carved wooden bow. She lifted it, and faster than Ajax could see, she’d shot an arrow right into the middle of the target.

Ajax blinked, stunned.

“Haha, did that surprise you? Bows have been the weapon of choice for qilin for a long time. We are pacifists, greatly against violence. But if we do have to take a life, we want to do it as fast as possible and without too much… mess.” Lian said. “I was taught how to use a bow by my parents starting at a young age. Both as an exercise in patience and precision as well as for defense.”

“Oh, makes sense. You did mention that you had to go against your own beliefs during the archon war.”

“I had to, yes. Which is why I can’t fault Morax for what he’s done. Especially knowing my son, he did it to help others. He wouldn’t have joined the war for a selfish reason, he wouldn’t have wanted this kind of power just to have it. No, he wanted it so worse people wouldn’t get it.” She said lightly.

“You understand just as well as I do how kind he is at his core, don’t you?” She asked, looking at him intently.

“He is, yes. Even if he thinks that what he did all those years ago makes him a bad person. He… he was very worried what you would think of him. Scared that you wouldn’t want anything to do with him. I tried to assure him that you wouldn’t think badly of him. Though I’m lucky, I could have been completely wrong of course,” Ajax said with a breath of relief. He didn’t know what he would have done, after he told Zhongli that she would accept him, if she did end up not doing that.

The qilin woman made a thoughtful noise. “Mhm, you seem to have gauged my reaction right, yes. Then how come you think that I’m thinking badly of you?”

“I-I mean I don’t think you do? I’m just aware I haven’t made a particularly good first impression. I’m sorry for that. I ruined your reunion, that wasn’t my intention. And during dinner, I didn’t… Guizhong kept asking, and I didn’t quite know how to redirect the conversation.” He admitted softly. What point was there in lying? He better was honest and apologized, maybe that would help fix things.

“You didn’t ruin anything, why would you?” She asked, watching him closely. She always looked so observant, like Guizhong was as well. As if nothing would evade their gaze.

Ajax sighed softly. “I just… it feels like the whole focus was on me this entire time, from the moment I went and got water, when Zhongli could have done that just as easily. I just thought he should stay with you. Then I helped you drink, like you can’t do it alone. Then Zhongli asking about my insecurities in front of you. Guizhong kept asking about my past, and I didn’t know how to make her stop without seeming rude…”

“As I said, you didn’t ruin anything. You know what my first impression is of you? You’re an overthinker, clearly. Which isn’t a bad thing, it’s just an anxious mind that needs soothing occasionally. You are very caring, even towards a complete stranger like me. Immediately noticed I struggled and brought me water, and I very much appreciated it. And I did have problems drinking by myself at first. Then you immediately reached for me when you saw me struggling with walking and helped me.

And it’s crystal clear that you care deeply about my son and vice versa. You two keep reaching for each other, providing each other comfort and support. Hmm… You’ve clearly haven’t had an easy life, but you’re used to playing it off like it was nothing. Which makes me think that people in your life have invalidated you for your struggles in the past.

My impression is, that you’re a very complex person. So I can assure you, I don’t think badly of you. Quite the contrary, I admit. I took quite an interest in you. And you remind me of my late husband.” She said, brushing her long hair out of her face.

“I do?” He asked, unable to stop his curiosity. Zhongli’s father, a mighty dragon?

“Oh yes. As I mentioned before, Rong was an overthinker as well. It took a long time for us to get together, because he kept worrying about being too much for me. Dragons are particular beings, they fall in love only once in their life and their love is a possessive one. Which for some people, isn’t desirable.

When I finally had him so far that we were officially a couple, he still kept worrying about it. Even when we were long since married he kept telling me that if I ever changed my mind, he would let me go and promised not to make life difficult for me. He was always so considerate of others, and worried what people think of him,” she said with a fond smile.

“He didn’t have it easy either, being one of the last mountain dragons alive. He got the title of ‘Dragon of Mt. Aocang’ passed down to him when his father passed away, as Morax received it when Rong passed. He always wanted to help people, so when the archon war started, he tried to protect the villages close to our home. But one of the foes was too strong for him, and he was fatally wounded.

Morax’ dragon form looks a lot like his father’s. Though Rong’s scales were much darker, almost black. And he inherited his striking eyes. He would have been very proud to hear that his son ended up becoming the god of geo and subsequently the geo archon.”

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss,” Ajax said softly. “He sounds like he was a great person.”

“He was. Careful and sweet with me and Morax. But also a skilled fighter, his choice of weapons were spears and polearms of any kind. We were so in love, and Morax made it all complete. Our pride and joy, though I’m sure all parents say that about their children. We never even thought about having another, because we were both so happy about him. It just seemed perfect, the three of us. Of course, that’s different for everyone. Others want more children,” she said with a soft smile.

Ajax huffed softly, laughing a little. “Tell me about it, I have seven siblings.”

Lian’s hazel eyes were wide, letting out a shocked laugh. “Seven! Eight, including you! Your mother must be a fearless woman, going through childbirth that often. Are you the oldest, how old are you even?”

“Ah, no, I’m the fifth child. I’m 25 years old. My oldest brother is 31 years old. Then two sisters, 30 and 28, and a brother who’s 26 years old. After me, there’s my younger sister, she’s almost 15, and two bothers that are 10 and 6 years old.” Ajax explained, tapping on his fingers to keep track of everyone.

“Oh wow. How old are your parents then?”

Ajax hummed, having to quickly do the math. He usually didn’t really think about his parent’s ages. “Hm… My father is two years older than my mother, when Artyom was born he was… He’s 51 now, mother is almost 49 years old.”

“That’s very young considering they had that many children. Really quite impressive. Are you all close with each other?”

Ajax sighed softly. This was Zhongli’s mother. He’d told him, so surely he could tell her. “Not really. My older siblings are close, my younger as well. I’m closer with my younger ones than my older ones. Not very close with my parents anymore, but it’s all due to what happened to me with the abyss. It’s… complicated.”

Lian hummed softly, thoughtfully. She waved her hand a little, motioning for him to take up his training again. He was a bit surprised by that, had he said something so wrong, that she didn’t want to talk to him any longer? Shouldn’t he have been that honest? Probably not. He wouldn’t have with anyone else, why did he think just because she was Zhongli’s mother, that he should be?

When he took up his stance again, she moved in close, her hand just slightly brushing against his back, so he’d be aware of her presence. “Stand a little straighter. Bend your ankles forward just a little bit. That’ll help to move the majority of your bodyweight to the balls of your feet. But keep the heels firmly on the ground. And relax your shoulders a little, your position is very stiff,” she said quietly.

Ajax swallowed, trying to correct his position as she advised. “Like this?”

“Very good, yes. See, on your arrow, the fletching at the end. There’s a part that’s differently colored, do you know what it’s for?” She asked, moving her hand forwards and pointing her finger towards it.

“Decoration?” He asked, a bit dumbly. He hadn’t really considered it might have a purpose.

The qilin laughed softly. “No, but good try. It’s called an index. Hold the arrow so that it points towards your own body. And don’t rotate your elbow on the arm that holds the bow. Keep it straight and proper. Then pick an anchor point. I saw that you’re drawing inconsistently. An anchor point helps with that.”

“Anchor point?” The snezhnayan asked, having heard this for the first time. Well, all of this, considering nobody ever taught him archery. He had just figured that archery couldn’t be that hard and started practicing by himself. Which, in hindsight, had been a big mistake. It was a lot harder than it looked like.

Lian got in front of him, took her own bow and got into position. Then she drew the sinew towards her chin, slightly below. “Most people use a spot like this, just under the chin. Some…” she said, pulling it a bit higher, towards the corner of her mouth, “…prefer this one. Others use the ear. Just a point on your body that helps you draw more consistently.” She explained, putting her bow down again.

He considered it for a moment, then chose to try under his chin as well. Carefully, he corrected everything she had pointed out, nocked the arrow and took a deep breath, letting go.

And hit the golden center of the target.

Lian was clapping, excitedly jumping up and down a few times, a giddy smile on her face. “Amazing, you did it!”

“Ah, thank you. All just because you helped me,” Ajax said, smiling at her. She didn’t have to help him. But she did, and now she was happy that it made a difference. Just like Zhongli, happy whenever he could help him in some way.

“It’s nothing, I’m glad I could give you some pointers. See, now you’ll master the bow after all,” she said with a grin. “So… Your parents, do they have troubles accepting you the way you are? With the way you changed due to being in that… abyss?”

Ajax blinked, not expecting the question. “Y-Yeah. They… well to be honest, they think I’m mentally unstable. They think I only imagined it, that I went insane when I spent three days in that forest. And I could prove to them that it was real, but it would also be proving to them, that I’m not just a human anymore.”

“And you think them knowing that you have this abyss influence would be worse.”

“Probably. I’m close with my three younger siblings, especially my sister. It would be devastating if we couldn’t see each other anymore. They see me rare enough as is, with my job. The youngest two don’t even know what exactly I work as. They think I sell toys. And I want them to keep that illusion for a while, you know. Before they find out that I’m actually a terrible person and might not want anything to do with me anymore.” Ajax admitted. “My little sister knows what I work, but she doesn’t know too many details about it.”

It was so easy to be just honest with her. With her kind eyes and her face that always seemed to look warm and like she was just slightly smiling. There was just something about this woman that made her feel trustworthy, and like she actually wanted to know.

“I don’t know you well yet, but I have a hard time believing that you’re a terrible person,” she said firmly, as if there was no doubt in her mind that he wasn’t terrible.

“When I came back from the abyss, I wasn’t normal anymore. There was this thirst for battle and blood, because I fought for my life every day for three months. I’m not any better than any other abyss monster,” Ajax said quietly, not meeting her eyes.

“Then I was taken in by the fatui, an organization belonging to the cryo archon, and I became her vanguard. A good portion of that job includes killing people. My current assignment here in Liyue – other than having been a decoy for Zhongli’s retirement plan – is helping hunt down debtors that are due their payments. I have no idea how many people I have killed, I lost track when I was maybe fifteen years old. And I don’t have a good reason like Zhongli did.”

He expected her to be shocked at his admission, or for her to ask him to leave Zhongli alone, not wanting him to associate with someone who had killed for no good reason. He did not expect her to reach out, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder, gently squeezing. Just like Zhongli would do with his shoulder or his knee.

“But that doesn’t make you a terrible person, Childe. You know why?” She asked, voice so gentle and caring, looking at him with not a hint of disgust or even dislike. Did she really like him after all?

Ajax shook his head. No, he really didn’t understand her way of thinking. How could she not consider him terrible, awful, a monster in disguise, a stain in godly presence?

“Because the truly awful people don’t see themselves as awful. They think they’re right to do as they do. But you realize that you took lives for no reason other than orders. And that it wasn’t always right to do that. And you see yourself worse for that, and worry what others will think of you. So clearly, you cannot be terrible. Because if you were, you wouldn’t care. Simple as that, my boy.”

The fatuus stared at her for a moment, dumbstruck. Her kind words echoed in his mind, trying to take them apart and process them. He hadn’t cried in a long time, but he could feel burning in his eyes and throat, swallowing it down.

Chapter Text

Her first impression of the redheaded young man had been that he was caring, even towards a stranger like her. And that he had a special connection with her son, because the way those two looked at each other was full of love and adoration. So she was surprised to find out that they weren’t in a relationship.

Though Guizhong had later corrected that during dinner, telling her that Childe was indeed Morax’ loved one, even though he planned not to act on it for reasons she did not yet know. Maybe he was just taking his time with him. Maybe he worried about the same things his father used to worry about. She would find out the reason soon enough. For her, it was clear as day that there was more between them.

Lian was looking at the young man in front of her. He looked so young, younger than the 25 years that he told her he was old. Even that was still so young. And he’d unmistakably gone through the most heartbreaking things in his life at a far younger age already.

He had tried his best to hide it, but qilin were sensitive creatures. She could sense the telltale signs of someone who had endured hardships and pretended to have come out of them completely whole and unharmed, who was hiding that he was hurt and how things had left scars emotionally and probably physically as well.

She had only heard a tiny bit so far. But even now, she was already impressed how he was still here. Because others would have broken beyond repair at much less. But here he was, having endured so much, and he still was gentle, kind and loving. She could see why Morax had fallen in love with him.

Qilin had a special gift, the gift of prophecy. They weren’t completely exact, only certain feelings they would get. When she had given birth to Morax and held him for the first time, she had known he was destined for greatness. Even without this, she loved her son immensely and fiercely, but she had always wondered what kind of greatness he would eventually achieve.

This was the thing with this gift. It was not precise at all. Greatness could mean anything, it could be that he would have been especially talented at something and maybe achieve fame for it. It could mean he would have become a ruler or political figure. Ascension to godhood. Or someone who was important for their community in another way, the greatness of helping people thrive.

Of course she never could have guessed that her tiny baby would grow up to be a god of many things, blessed by Celestia with power beyond compare and worthy of becoming one of the seven archons. She couldn’t wait to learn of all he’d done and how he had shaped Liyue to the land it was today.

When she touched Childe, holding onto him when walking down the hallway, she got mixed feelings. Nothing negative about him, but she had the feeling that he would have to face even more hardships soon. The image of a tree being uprooted came to mind. She didn’t know enough about him and about his exact circumstances to draw really any conclusions from this. But she knew that Morax would be by his side, no matter what. And so would she, as well.

She had taken a liking to the boy, even more so when he was honest with her about his family situation and his views on himself. She felt honored that he extended such a trust to her already. Her heart ached when she saw how quiet he got after she said her piece, processing her words.

“Are you alright?” Lian asked, very carefully putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, yes. Yes it’s just… unexpected. Is all.” Childe explained, shaking his head a little.

“It’s the truth though, I can assure you that. Qilin do not lie.”

He looked surprised at that, his pretty blue eyes going wide. “I… I spent a very long time thinking I’d lost my humanity when I fell into the abyss. That I’m nothing more than a monster, parading around in disguise. Tried to consciously rid myself of it, thinking myself as a weapon for my queen first and foremost. When I went to visit my family, I played normal. It’s… it’s only since I’ve met Zhongli that I’ve slowly started to understand that maybe I didn’t lose my humanity.”

Lian hummed softly. “Could it be that you unconsciously locked it away in your heart? Protecting yourself from getting hurt by pretending you are someone else, something else? That an abyss monster can’t be hurt the same way as a human could be hurt?”

Childe swallowed hard, looking conflicted. Lian gently pulled him down with her, coming to sit on the soft grass outside the training field. It was dry, and it was still nice and warm outside after all. She sat with her legs crossed, and saw Childe do the same.

“I can be wrong, of course,” she said.

He shook his head, one hand brushing over the grass. “I-I don’t think you are, I think. It does make sense. I’ve thought of myself as a monster for so long, because I couldn’t imagine myself being anything else.”

“But you aren’t. Your abyss influence is only a small part of what makes you the person that you are. You are more than the parts you don’t like about you. You’re not one singular, unchanging thing. People contain multitudes of themselves.

I am not only a qilin. I am not only a mother. I am not only a woman. I’m a woman, I was a wife, I am a widow and a mother. I was a child of my parents and I was a sister a long time ago. I am a qilin, I am a vegetarian. I am an archer, I am a pacifist, I was a warrior at some point. I love birds, I love music, I love cooking and eating. I love company and meeting new people. I love taking care of people that are important to me. I’m someone who tries to help whenever I can, who tries to help people solve their problems. Someone who would help mediate when people argue.

I used to be scared of fire, because as a child I once burnt myself terribly. It was Rong who helped me overcome this fear, without him  I would still be scared. I used to feel intimidated by mountains because I was scared of heights, but Rong and Morax made me love them.”

“All the different positive things about you,” Childe said softly.

Lian sighed softly, taking a deep breath. “Not just them, the negative things too. Three times in my life, I felt lost and alone. The first time, when my parents didn’t approve of my love for Rong. They were scared what a dragons’ love would mean for me. It was well known that dragons are possessive lovers and they were worried I was getting in way over my head. They demanded I stop seeing him, and I didn’t want to do that. So they told me to leave, lest I would cause them harm by loving a dragon.

The second time was at the beginning of the archon war, when my husband died in my arms. There is little more heartbreaking than trying to stop a bleeding, and no matter what you do, it just doesn’t stop. I was so desperate for it to stop, I wasn’t prepared to let him go yet. I don’t know how long I sat there and wailed until Morax found me, sat down next to me and cried with me.

The third time was when I could no longer find Morax. The archon war had started to get brutal, daily fighting around our home. And for weeks I was desperately looking for him, unable to track him down. I was panicking and assumed I had lost him as well. And a part of me wanted to die then and there, hoping that there is something beyond death that would let me be reunited with my loved ones.

But there also was a tiny shred of hope left in me, I had known that Morax was destined for greatness, so maybe he would have survived somewhere. And that’s why I decided to save what was left of our belongings and seal myself into the mountain, hoping that I would make it out alive to find out he did so as well.”

She smiled softly when she realized that Childe had reached out, holding her hands, carefully squeezing them. Such a sweet boy.

“We are made up of so many different things, all the things we love and hate, all our experiences, and of all the people that have touched our souls and are important to us, even if they’re gone already. Some parts of them will always stay,” she said quietly.

“I’m so sorry for how painful it must have been, losing your husband and then your son. But I’m glad you made it out alive like this. He’s very happy that you’re around still, because he’s also been very lonely. And I feel like it’s good for him, having you back.” The redhead said softly. “Maybe… Maybe my relationship with my family isn’t broken beyond repair either.”

“Thank you. I’m glad I did as well, and also that I got to meet you as well. I don’t think that many things are broken beyond repair. Most of the time, if you try hard enough, you can mend things. Though your parents would have to try as well. Maybe one day I could have a word with them,” she chuckled softly.

Childe chuckled as well, shaking his head. “You think being told off by a divine beast would make them reconsider their poor parenting choices?”

“Sometimes someone small and very angry can work wonders. And I bet Guizhong would join me, because she too is very fond of you already. And I know Morax would have some choice words as well.”

“She’s fond of me too?” The boy asked, looking confused.

“Well I am as well, and I haven’t known you a full day. She already cares a lot about you from what I’ve gathered when talking to her. She told me how different Morax was when she met him compared to the boy I knew, and compared to the man she met a few days ago. And I don’t think that she’s wrong crediting quite a bit of this change to you. You’re clearly good for him, that much is obvious.”

“I mean he has become a bit more relaxed over the last while, but I don’t think that this is really something that I’ve had anything to do with,” Childe said, shaking his head lightly.

She switched the positioning of their hands, so that hers were now holding onto his hands. “Guizhong seems to be sure about it, and seems to have spoken to Morax about it as well. Who, at least according to what she told me, credited you with it himself. Something about how you make him feel more comfortable with himself and how you make him feel more normal than he has in a long time, with being an archon and always having to keep up appearances for everyone else,” Lian corrected gently.

There was a soft, pink blush forming on the young man’s cheeks, spreading over his nose and almost to his ears. Oh, how cute this boy was! Of course Morax was obsessed with him. The last time she had seen someone blush like that, it had been a slightly tan skinned man with long hair – so dark brown that it almost was black –  in a braid down to his upper thighs, and eyes the color of the most expensive cor lapis. Blushing furiously when they had locked gazes for the first time.

They sat like this for a while, enjoying each other’s company quietly, until Childe spoke up. “May I ask… What was Zhongli like as a child?”

Lian smiled, humming softly. “Oh he was adorable! Such a happy child, and very loving. He loved to cuddle and he’d always climb on me or his father. And he wanted to learn and know everything, a million questions every day!  And imagine how pleased I was when he was born with his father’s eyes!”

Childe chuckled, nodding. “I can imagine. They are very striking.”

“Yes! And they were one of the first things that caught my eye when I saw Rong for the first time. I remember, through the whole pregnancy, I kept talking to him in there, telling him he better makes sure he gets his father’s eyes. I didn’t care what else he’d get from who, as long as it would be a healthy child. And then he was born and had them.” Lian admitted, laughing.

“How did you two meet?” Child asked, then suddenly became still. “Ah, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t ask these things, you needn’t reply. Of course it’s painful, and I mean, I’m just some stranger. I’m sorry.”

Lian shook her head quickly. “Don’t say such things. You can ask anything you like, you’re hardly a stranger anymore. And while it is painful… It’s always there, whether I speak about him or not. So it’s not any harder to talk about him than it is to just go about my day.

We met at a festival, the people were celebrating the new year. The humans had put up market stalls, and some heavenly beasts were there in human guise. My siblings and some other qilin from our community had decided to go there and see, have some fun.

There was a crowd of people, we all got scattered and it got a little bit much for me with how people were shoving, as you can see I’m quite short. I tripped, and someone caught me, and when I looked up to apologize… those eyes just mesmerized me. And when I properly looked at him, I could see that he was blushing all the way to his ears,” she said, laughing a little. What a sight he had been.

The young man smiled. “And then you started talking?”

“Ha, if only he would have been that easy to get! No, he pretty much ran away. He much later admitted that he was so overwhelmed because he found me really cute, that he fled. “Much later” as in “we were already married at that point”. But I saw him again later that day. In the evening, people had a lot to drink already, and some too much. There was a man who kept following me, kept asking me to go home with him… And I felt increasingly unsafe. When I was trying to leave the festival, he grabbed me.

The moment he put his hand on me, I heard a growl like nothing I’ve ever heard before. When I turned, there was Rong. His eyes almost glowing in the dark, still in his human disguise but his fangs and horns revealed, his claws tearing through the fabric of the other guys robe. Telling him to hurry up and leave if he doesn’t want to become a pathetic excuse for a dinner for the dragon of Mt. Aocang.”

“Ooh, so he protected you! How nice of him,” Childe said, stretching his legs. “That must have impressed you a lot.”

“It really did. He chased him away and insisted on walking home with me. To make sure I wouldn’t catch the attention of another drunkard. And while walking, we started talking. I had learnt of who and what he was when he threatened the drunkard, so I told him that I am a qilin and that we live in the valley around Mt. Aocang. He was shy at first, but he warmed up to me quickly, and we talked about anything and everything. He was so easy to talk to, knew so many things and he had such a nice voice. Not unlike Morax’ now, a little deeper still though.

When we got close to home, I couldn’t help myself and kissed his cheek when thanking him for bringing me home and keeping me safe. And he blushed again, his whole face red, it was the cutest thing! That night, when I went to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t get him out of my head again. So I made sure to go collect food and herbs close to Mt. Aocang from then on, always hoping to see him.”

“But your family didn’t approve him, even if he did that?” Childe asked, brows furrowed in a frown. His hands were running through the grass again, fingers splaying against it.

“They didn’t, no. You see, a dragon’s love is something very special that not everyone is able to cherish. They love fiercely and wholeheartedly, they are very protective. They are possessive, and some of them have taken it to abusive extremes.

But Rong would have never. He was always so cautious, always telling me that I am his world, but he doesn’t have to be mine. That him loving me would never mean that I couldn’t live my life they way I want to. And that me being his only love would never mean, that I have to be with him forever. That if I ever came to not love him anymore, that I could just tell him and he would let me go. Because that’s how much he loved me, that he would rather let me go than have me with him and be miserable.”

Carefully, she pulled the pendant of her long necklace out of her robe, holding it between her fingers to show it to the young man. He leaned over, watching the light catch in the scale and making it shimmer.

“He had this made for me for me for our wedding day. One of his scales, polished meticulously, framed in golden filigree. Dragon scales are said to be a talisman, warding off evil. Giving jewelry with one of their own scales as a wedding gift is an age old tradition of the mountain dragons. I’ve only ever taken it off to bathe.” She said with a gentle smile, brushing her fingers along it. One of the few things of her husband that she had left after losing him.

“It’s beautiful. What a special gift, showing his love and care like this, protecting you even when he’s long gone,” Childe said softly, almost whispering.

Lian nodded slowly, putting the pendant back inside her robe, resting above her heart again, where it had for millennia and would do so for the rest of her life. A piece of the man that her heart belonged to, resting over her heart. Maybe one day Childe would have one resting over his own, a bronzy brown scale as physical proof of Morax’ love and devotion.

“It is. As I said, a dragon’s love is very special, seeing as they only love one person in their life. But when you are loved by one, it’s the most beautiful thing. There won’t be words to describe for how loved you will feel. And no matter how bad of a day you might have, they will do everything for you to cheer up. Doing everything in their power to make their loved one happy, almost worshipping the very ground they walk on.

The way they love is expressive, cherishing every moment with you. The smallest of touches, words sweeter than the sweetest of sweetflowers. They will hold you and stay close to you, making you feel safe and protected, knowing you can rely on them completely.

If you are able to find this kind of love, you need to hold it tight and never let it go again.”

Chapter Text

After helping prepare everything for the deceased Qixing member, Zhongli sat down in his office to write a short report. It didn’t take long for Hu Tao to stick her head in. “By the way, I heard a certain fatuus has taken a few days off, very suspiciously around the same time as you did. And rumors say you were the one bringing the message to Northland bank~”

“As I mentioned, an old friend of mine has come to visit. My mother now as well. He’s being so kind to help me out a little.” Zhongli said simply.

She moved inside fully, then plopped herself down in the armchair off to the side, where just a few days ago Ajax had waited for him. “Oh? Are your loved ones coming to get to know him?”

“Hm?”

“You know. Making sure he’s a good fit. I assume one of you is going to pop the question soon, no?” The young girl asked, grinning excitedly.

“I don’t think I understand. Pop what question?” Zhongli asked, frowning. He could not imagine what ideas his eccentric boss had gotten now.

Hu Tao threw up her hands in the air, groaning exasperatedly. “Oh come on! One of you is going to propose soon, right? You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it!  Didn’t the ferrylady go and bought the chopsticks with you months ago, not that long after you started dating even?”

The god was glad that his teacup was sitting safely on his desk. Because he was sure he would have spit the tea out or let the cup go. “Director Hu, Childe and I aren’t dating. We are friends, we spend a lot of our time together, but we aren’t a couple. That my mother and an old friend are here has nothing to do with him. In fact, we haven’t seen each other for a long time, to the point where I thought both of them to be dead. To find out that they both aren’t within a few days, is merely a lucky coincidence.”

The girls face fell. “That’s- That’s a lot to unpack.” She leaned back, crossing her right leg over her left and rested her hands in her lap. “Okay, so. I thought you’ve been dating for months, you two just always reminded me of lady Ningguang and captain Beidou. You know, everyone in the harbor knows they’re a couple even if neither of them has ever said anything about it. I thought it was similar with you two.”

Zhongli shook his head. Even if it pleased him a little that others seemed to think they were dating. But it also hurt, knowing it wasn’t the case. “No, no we really aren’t. Just close friends that understand each other well. There’s… certain things that we can discuss with each other freely that we can’t talk to other people.”

He had been at work for barely over an hour, and everything in him already pulled him to go back to Ajax. His fingers were itching for the other’s, feeling cold without the his touch. He’d gotten used to having his warm body so close to his own. Which was dangerous, in a way. He didn’t want to think about how miserable he would be once Ajax would get sent away on a different mission or summoned back home to Snezhnaya.

“Ah, I see, I see. I’m sorry then,” she said, grimacing.

“It’s fine. No harm done,” he replied. Then he remembered the other things he told her, and got an idea.

Ajax had told him that a good portion of the harbor already thought he was an adeptus. His mother visiting the harbor would be a dead giveaway, except she would walk around without her horns. Which would be strenuous for her to do, more then keeping a human appearance in general. So what if he got ahead of everything? Let the harbors rumor mill run it’s course.

“And you thought your mother and your friend were dead? I mean how does that happen? Usually dead people get buried. And if you’re not dead when they bury you, you’ll definitely be dead afterwards,” she mused.

“Well, for once, my old friend is actually a goddess. When she was mortally wounded and her body dispersed to dust, I assumed she was dead. She did only return to a dust sprite however, and after a long time she has been able to get her corporeal form back,” he said.

“You’re friends with a goddess?” Hu Tao asked, unbelieving.

Zhongli chuckled. For a moment he wondered how she would react if he would reveal his true identity here and now. What she would say, knowing she was chatting and teasing with the former geo archon every day. Had him help organizing his own funeral, even.

“I am, yes.”

She looked at him, her eyes squinting a bit. “There haven’t been gods in Liyue safe for Rex Lapis for thousands of years, Zhongli. And even he’s dead now too.”

“Well, I told you that I hadn’t seen her in a long time. Obviously we have a lot of catching up to do. And similar case with my mother, we lost each other, couldn’t find each other any longer. So in the chaos of everything that happened back then I assumed she had died. To be proven wrong now, luckily.” He said, taking a sip of his tea.

“What the- chaos? Wait, are you seriously admitting to being older than you look?” She leaned forwards a bit, looking intrigued.

“I’m looking perfectly fine for my age. But yes, are you happy now? You’ve been asking me for almost two years, I admit it, I am an adeptus. No point in hiding it when half the harbor is already thinking it, and my mother will probably be around exploring things soon.” He said with a sigh.

He really hoped his plan would be successful and make things easier for Guizhong and his mother. Like this, they wouldn’t need to hide as much from themselves in order to protect his identity. He wanted them to be able to live freely and enjoy their lives now, without having to constantly watch every word they say.

Hu Tao let out a squeal, putting her hand in front of her mouth to stifle herself. She looked excited, her legs bouncing. “You are! I knew it! What kind of adeptus?! How old are you really?!”

Zhongli sighed, shaking his head fondly. “My mother is a qilin. And I am old. I have lived through the archon war, which should give you a rough estimate.”

“That old! No wonder you act like a grandpa,” she giggled.

“That- that’s not really about my age. You have to put such things into relation according to species. Ganyu is several thousand years old, but she isn’t old by qilin standards. Neither am I. The way I act has more to do with the responsibilities I’ve held over the years, and the expectations people had. I’ve had to act more mature than I was when I was still a teenager,” he said gently.

“Oooh, I see. You had to act older than you were and that just kinda stuck, huh? That’s all so interesting, I can’t believe I was actually right! I just always thought that you know way too much for a human guy around the age you told me,” she said, humming.

“I guess. The age I told you is roughly what my age would be related to the human life though, so that wasn’t a complete lie.” Zhongli picked up his tea and took a sip.

“Huh, really not an old man then. Though… I feel something is a little different. You smile more. I think spending time with that harbinger is good for you. You know, maybe you actually learn to act your age,” the young girl said with a teasing grin. “Just imagine!”

“You aren’t wrong, I guess he does help for that. I’m slowly learning to relax a little bit thanks to him. Let a little loose.” The god admitted, leaning back in his chair a little bit.

Hu Tao sighed. “I can’t believe you two aren’t dating,” she said, grimacing as if this fact was personally offending her.

Zhongli felt quite the same, but there was nothing to be done. Love wasn’t something he had control over, this field was more the cryo archon’s expertise. And even if he could, he would never force Ajax to have feelings for him. This was why he didn’t even confess, for Celestia’s sake – fears, that the other man wouldn’t dare to turn him down because of who he was, even if he said that knowing that would never change his behavior.

“Whoops, would you look at the time! I’m meeting for dinner with Yanfei in ten minutes, I should get going. But I do want to hear some stories sometime! Will you be fine with the rest of the work?” Hu Tao asked, jumping up from the armchair.

“Of course, just finishing this. It’ll only be a little while longer. Have a good evening,” Zhongli replied, picking his brush back up.

“Thanks, you too. And don’t bother coming into work on your regular schedule for the next while. You deserve some bonding time with your mom and friend. We’ll just come fetch you if it’s urgent, yeah?” She smiled, tilting her head.

Zhongli smiled back at her, thankful for her generosity. “Thank you very much, director.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. Bye-bye!” She called cheerily, closing his office door behind her, leaving him alone with his work again.

When he was almost done, there was a knock on the door, the voice of the ferrylady audible through it. “Zhongli? The secretary from the northland bank is asking for you, would you have a moment for her?”

“Of course, let her in,” he replied, wondering what she could want from him.

The door opened, Ekaterina stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “Good evening, thank you for having me without any notice. I hope I’m not disturbing anything important?”

“Not at all, not at all. How can I help you?” Zhongli asked, folding his hands in front of him on his desk.

She looked bothered, shuffling nervously. “It’s about the arrangements for the deceased found in guili plains, I have some things written down…” She stepped forward, handing him a small envelope.

He opened it, taking out letter in neat handwriting.

Please do not let on that anything is amiss. We might have people listening in on us.

I know that you are a trustworthy man, and close to the lord harbinger. This is why I am asking for your help in this matter. I have suspicions that I am currently under investigation for getting too accustomed to Liyue, which means the fatui are suspicious and questioning my loyalty. I don’t think that the lord harbinger has anything to do with this, seeing as you are friends. He wouldn’t have me investigated for making friends with people here.

So it is someone else that has started this, and I have reason to believe that it might extend to him as well. I don’t know how long this has been going on, and how safe we still are here in Liyue. Please inform him of this, and tell him to be careful. We might have trouble ahead, especially if they investigate him as well.

I don’t know what to do, I’m quite at my wit’s end. I know I might be asking for a lot, but any help would be greatly appreciated.

Zhongli hummed thoughtfully. “Those instructions are quite extensive. But of course, we can go look in guili plains if we find something to help us identify him. We might be able to find his next of kin. Would you accompany me, I’d be free right now?”

“Mr. Zhongli, I don’t know how searching guili would help us?” She asked, looking at him unsure.

“Trust me, if he spent some time there, there will be clues. There’s a domain that we could investigate as well, it might yield results.” The god replied. He figured there was no other way. Ekaterina had always been nice to him, and now she was in trouble. Ajax possibly as well. They would need to discuss everything together, somewhere where nobody could listen in.

His realm.

Which would mean – at the very least – revealing to her that he was an adeptus. She would hear that soon enough in the harbor. But maybe even revealing his real identity might be necessary. But Ekaterina was a trustworthy woman, he didn’t doubt she would keep his secret. Especially if he would be able to help her. But still, that would be a last resort.

She sighed, looking confused still. “Fine, let’s go then.”

They said goodbye to the ferrylady, then took the teleport network to guili plains. Whoever had been listening in to them at the funeral parlor definitely hadn’t followed them, Zhongli kept an eye on the teleport and the feeling of the ley lines. They were the only ones around.

“So, what now?” The snezhnayan woman asked.

“The realm is this way,” he explained, nodding towards the direction where he knew the entrance was hidden. “I’m sorry, this is a bit of a detour, there would have been a closer place, but I didn’t want to raise anymore suspicions,” Zhongli said quietly.

“How is that domain going to help?” She asked, barely audible.

“First, nobody will be able to enter except us, so nobody listens in. And Childe is there, so we can discuss things with him too. And it’s an offer of a safe place to stay, I understand that something might happen to you, worst case scenario.”

Ekaterina nodded, following him until they reached the hidden entry point. “This looks different than any other domain I’ve seen so far.”

“Because it is. Hold onto my arm. Tightly.” He said, her arm winding around his, holding on tight.

When they entered the realm, she stumbled forward, probably dizzy. He carefully held onto her, making sure she didn’t fall and hurt herself. “Careful.”

“Thank y- Wow,” she gasped, looking forwards to the palace and the floating lanterns in the slowly darkening sky. “Beautiful,” she whispered.

“Come, let’s head inside and talk, I’ll make some tea if there isn’t already any.”

The secretary followed you inside the palace looking around curiously. He could hear chatter from the kitchen, so he immediately went there. Opening the door, he found Ajax, Guizhong and his mother chatting animatedly, the two women laughing at a story that Ajax had just finished telling.

“Oh, Morax, you’re back!” His mother exclaimed when she spotted him, Ajax’ head immediately whipping around with a smile. Well, so much for revealing his identity as a last resort, she definitely heard that.

“Welcome back, I’ll fetch you a cup!” Guizhong got up quickly, sitting closest to the cupboard.

“Ah, two please. I brought a quest,” he explained, stepping into the kitchen and motioning Ekaterina to enter.

“Oh, more people? Perfect, the more the merrier!” The short goddess said happily, taking out two teacups and filled them with tea. “Come, come, sit!”

“Katya? Why- What happened?” Ajax looked at her worried.

The secretary took a seat next to Guizhong, while Zhongli happily sat down next to Ajax, lightly brushing against him when sitting down. Ah, he immediately felt better being back with him. Whatever would happen, he would protect him. No matter the cost.

“Oh? She’s a friend of yours?” Guizhong immediately asked, obviously happy to meet another new person.

“I’m very sorry to interrupt your gathering,” she said quietly.

“Not at all. If Zhongli brought you here, there’s a good reason to. And you didn’t interrupt anything. Uhm. This is my secretary and friend, Ekaterina,” Ajax explained to the others.

“Ah, just Katya is fine. Ekaterina is a bit of a mouthful. And I meant to ask Mr. Zhongli to call me that a while ago anyways…” She moved, taking off her fatui mask, revealing chestnut-brown eyes.

“Just Zhongli is fine as well, no need for formalities. This is my dear friend Guizhong, and this is my mother, Lian.” The adeptus said with a smile, hoping to reassure her.

“Nice to meet you,” his mother said with a warm smile.

“Wait, those horns – So you are an adeptus after all? Wait, didn’t she call you Morax?” Katya’s head whipped around, looking at him.

Ajax’ eyes went wide, same as his mother’s, who slapped a hand in front of her mouth. “I’m sorry, I had no idea she was there!”

Zhongli shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. “It’s fine. I came here prepared for her to know, she can keep a secret, I’m not worried. You did hear right. I am actually – well, was, I am retired now – the geo archon. Which is why I told you to trust me. We will find a way to figure everything out.”

“I mean I knew you had to be a special person, but the geo archon? Celestia help me,” the secretary said with a laugh, one of her hands running over her face.

“I would very much appreciate if that changes nothing about how we speak to each other,” the god said, looking at her questioningly.

“Oh no, don’t worry. As long as it’s fine with you, that’s fine with me as well. Obviously I would have done things differently if you wanted to,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Please no. I prefer for people to treat me normal. That’s why I go by Zhongli and nobody knows who I am.”

She nodded in understanding, taking a sip of her tea.

“So, what happened? It has to be serious if you brought her here.” Ajax looked at him unsure, then looked at Katya.

“I am afraid, I am under investigation. And I don’t think that you have anything to do with it, rather I’m worried you might be as well. Which is why I went to Wangsheng funeral parlor, hoping there might be some way that Zhongli would be able to help.”

“You are? No, no, definitely not my doing. I know you have friends in the harbor, but I wouldn’t put you under investigation for that. Kinda hypocritical, considering I spent my whole free time with Zhongli. But it makes sense, if someone has you targeted, that they would target me as well.” Ajax groaned.

“Under investigation for what?” Guizhong asked carefully.

Ajax took a sip of his tea, running a hand down his face in frustration. “We are both members of the fatui, an organization of the cryo archon. If members seem to… forget about their duties, or make too close friends with people from other nations and someone notices, they’ll start investigating you. Trying to find clues if your priorities and loyalties have shifted in directions that they shouldn’t.

Which could lead to several outcomes depending on how bad their findings are. If I’s just something minor, you’ll get reprimanded and punished by being sent away from where you were stationed. Either back to Snezhnaya or into a different nation. Something more severe might lead to being stripped of your ranks and being demoted, or even cast out of the fatui. I’m suspecting worse offenses would lead to being killed or made a living ice statue.”

“The cryo archon doesn’t sound like a nice person,” Guizhong said, shuddering and shaking her head.

“Her ideal used to be ‘love’. But something happened that made her change, and since then she doesn’t really have any love left to give. It’s what I heard from Barbatos, they used to be friends a long time ago, before she changed,” Zhongli mused. He didn’t know any specifics though, Barbatos hadn’t known what exactly had happened to her.

Katya nodded. “People say that back then, Snezhnaya was different too. It was always a cold place, it’s the north. But before her majesty changed for some reason, the land wasn’t frozen almost all year round. The spring and summer were prosperous, yielding good harvests that would support people once the cold came in autumn and through winter. But after, the ground and lakes stayed frozen, frequent blizzards plaguing the people. Harvests became more meager and in consequence, poverty, malnutrition and illnesses began to become big problems.”

“Would it be so bad if you two would lose your jobs?” Lian asked carefully. “I mean I understand needing to make a living, but wouldn’t you be able to find employment elsewhere?”

“The job side is only one part. I’m a ‘child of the hearth’, an orphan. I was taken in by a fatui orphanage and raised by them. The fatui were all I knew prior to coming here, I never had friends outside before. So losing this is… daunting. I would find my way of course, but it would be difficult. And finding work as a former member is difficult, we aren’t really welcome anywhere,” Katya said quietly. “There isn’t really a way out of this now anyways, I can just wait. Hope that I’ll be able to find my footing again when I’m kicked out eventually.”

“If it’s any consolation, I can promise you that you will always be welcome in Liyue. I will personally guarantee for you, that you will be safe and be able to live here. And you can always occupy a room here until you’ve found something for yourself. I have several guest rooms.” Zhongli said, smiling at her.

The fatua looked surprised, but then smiled at him gently. “That’s a very generous offer, thank you very much.”

“You’ve always been kind to me, so it’s the least I can do,” The god said, picking up his teacup to take a sip. He could feel Ajax’ hand, sneaking onto his forearm that was resting on his thigh. His fingers trailed down, then curled around his wrist, holding onto him. He could feel him trembling slightly.

Of course, this must be one of Ajax’ worst fears. He would potentially lose his stationing in Liyue, which would be the least of the consequences. Worst case, he could lose his title and rank or his life could be in danger.

Zhongli wouldn’t let the cryo archon lay a hand on him. He was quite sure that even without a gnosis, he would still be stronger than her. If he would be summoned back to Snezhnaya, he would go with him. And not leave without him again, even if it meant bringing the Tsaritsa’s castle down in an earthquake. He may not be the geo archon anymore, but he was still the god of geo. Morax, the groundbreaker.

He turned his arm, so that his palm would lie facing upwards, then slid his hand under Ajax’. Carefully, he let their fingers slot together, holding his hand tightly for a moment. Then, he reduced the pressure just slightly, so it wouldn’t be uncomfortable for the ginger.

Ajax turned his head a little, looking at him. He looked unsure and a little scared, taking a shivered breath. Zhongli fixed him with his gaze, hoping to convey to him that he would be safe with him. He would make sure everything would be alright.

Even if it meant waging war against the cryo archon.

Chapter Text

Ajax couldn’t remember when he was last this anxious in his life. Well, falling into the abyss had been worse, because then he had been a child and scared for his life. Which, to be fair, he was now as well. Because this time it could be his own goddess wanting him dead.

If Katya was being investigated for having made friends, then he was definitely as well. If someone had told her majesty that he spent all his free time with Zhongli, she could easily see it as a breach of loyalty. And even worse, once he would get back to Snezhnaya, she would know. She was the goddess of love after all, there was no way that she wouldn’t be able to tell that he was in love with the former geo archon.

And this was not just a breach of loyalty. If anything, it was heresy to her majesty. Her loyal weapon, her eleventh harbinger, her vanguard. In love with a foreign nation’s archon. And how often had he thought about spending the rest of his life in Liyue?

Even if Katya was being investigated as well, he would likely take the fall for both of them. It would probably only be days until he would receive an official summoning from the Tsaritsa, calling him back to Zapolyarny Palace to receive his punishment.

“Can’t you just… not go? When she summons you?” Guizhong asked, sighing softly.

“That’s not a possibility. If I don’t go, she will use my family against me to get me to comply. She knows if she threatens to hurt them, I will come. So… just going is the smartest option. Though I’m not sure I will make it out alive,” he admitted.

“I will come with you.” Zhongli said firmly, his fingers tightening against Ajax’.

“What, no. You’re not good with the cold and it will be dangerous,” the ginger protested.

Zhongli looked at him firmly, his eyes glowing, his real eye color bleeding through the mortal disguise. “I will come with you. I insist. Even just inside the country so I can be there faster to help, if you don’t want to take me with you to see her. If she exiles you, fine. We will make it work, you will always have a place in Liyue. But I will not sit here and wait only for you to never come back again because she made you an ice sculpture. So please. Even if you don’t want me to talk to her, let me come with you.”

Ajax sighed fondly. “That’s why Guizhong calls you ‘stubborn blockhead’ huh?”

“I’m a dragon. I told you, we are stubborn at the worst of times,” Zhongli replied, his voice soft like warm honey.

Ah, it made his heart feel weak. Was it stupid to think of this as the god being protective of him? He had said himself that he was protective of his friends, hadn’t he? The ginger couldn’t remember when in his life someone had last acted protective of him. But then he hadn’t thought about his childhood a lot anymore after he fell into the abyss. It all seemed to be meaningless after.

“We will discuss this when I receive the summons,” he said.

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Don’t think I will not come right after you. You can do it the easy way and we go together, or you can have me come after you and track you down. Don’t think I don’t know the feeling of your energy well enough to not be able to track you down in the whole of Teyvat.”

Ajax could feel the heat rise in his face, his heartbeat quickening. Oh by the gods, why did this make him feel all fluttery? Zhongli insisting on coming with him, being by his side. Telling him he knew well enough how his energy felt to track him down anywhere in the world. And how alluring as always his hand felt, intertwined with his own, warm and comforting.

The ginger smiled and shook his head lightly, feeling warm. “Fine. But you won’t come to Zapolyarny with me.”

“I can just wait somewhere. In a tavern or so,” Zhongli hummed.

“If I’m going back, I’ll go visit my family anyways. You could stay there for a bit. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. The only problem might be that my little brothers will have many questions about Liyue.” Ajax said, chuckling when he thought of how they once had Tonia ask him via letter if the people in Liyue were made of stone.

The brunette chuckled softly, squeezing his hand. “And I’ll give them all the answers they could want. They are your siblings after all, how could I say no to them?”

His mind conjured back up the image that he had thought of just a little while ago, when they had spoken of his siblings visiting Liyue, Zhongli telling him he would let them stay in his realm and would tell them all the stories they would want to hear. Them all huddled together on the gigantic bed, with fluffy pillows and blankets. Zhongli in the center, his warm baritone reciting tales and legends of the past, captivating them until they were too tired, lulling them to sleep.

How was he supposed to stay loyal to his goddess when this god right here said such things to him? It made him yearn for domesticity and warmth, and it made it feel like it was something he could actually have with Zhongli. He had told him that he could stay here for however long he liked, didn’t he? So maybe he could have this, even if the adeptus didn’t love him.

But first, they had to solve this problem. Losing his rank and title were daunting. The fatui had been his life for more than ten years. He had been the eleventh harbinger since the day he turned eighteen years old. He had spent almost half of his life with them, building his reputation and his skills as her majesty’s vanguard.

Life wouldn’t be easy. But when had his life ever been, except here with Zhongli by his side?

“Do we need to worry about you getting kidnapped?” Lian asked carefully, looking at Ajax with worry.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. That’s not how the Tsaritsa goes about things. It’ll be an official summons via letter. I’ve been in her service over ten years, she’s not going to treat me like that. Basically all we can do is wait for the letter to arrive.”

“There’s nothing we can do to throw them off at this point?” Guizhong asked, refilling her and Katya’s teacup.

“Nothing. If they’ve been investigating us for a while, it would be strange to change our behavior now. It might make matters worse if they think we know they’re investigating us and try to correct our behavior. If we keep acting the same, even if I’ll later admit to her majesty that we were aware, could be seen as us thinking that we aren’t doing anything wrong. That we do not think anything is amiss, we just made some friends, but are still her loyal servants.

However, before I’ll go, I will need to know your stance on these things, Katya. If you want me to make sure that you will not be cast out, I will fight tooth and nail for it.”

The brunette woman sighed softly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I don’t know. I don’t think you’ll think worse of me if I say that I’m not sure what I want. I like Liyue. The people are nice, and I have made friends. It… it feels almost like the home I never had. I would hate to lose this. But at the same time, the thought of losing the fatui is scary… I-I think… what happens, happens. It’s no longer in our hands, neither yours nor mine.”

Ajax nodded, understanding her point. “Very well. I will see what her majesty has to say then, and which decision she will make. Just know if she casts us both out, you can always come to me if you need anything, okay? We’re in this together.”

Katya smiled, nodding. “Same goes for you. If there’s anything I can ever be of assistance with, I will be there. I will inform you as soon as the summons arrives. I would expect that to happen soon.”

He shivered slightly as he felt Zhongli’s hand move, his fingers tracing along his own. Turning his hand a little, absentmindedly drawing patterns into his palm and over his wrist. His heartbeat quickened, the gentle touch setting his nerves alight.

“We will work it out, no matter what happens. If the worst case happens and you two will be exiled, you have my full support. I will speak to the Qixing to get your paperwork in order and get everything sorted so you can stay, get a residence here or go and travel as you please,” Zhongli said gently.

“Thank you. I admit, staying in Liyue would be nice. Especially since I’m slowly getting more acquainted with people. I might be able to find some type of work…” Katya mused, nodding her head.

“I would definitely stay. I wouldn’t know where else to go anyways, and I know a few people here too. Might come in handy,” Ajax said quietly, leaning back in his chair. As if he would want to go anywhere else.

His biggest problem about getting exiled were his siblings. The only way he would be able to see them still would be if they would come to Liyue. Which would be difficult with how young they were. Maybe once Tonia was old enough to travel alone, she could come visit and take the boys with her. But he couldn’t see their parents allowing her to travel before she was eighteen years old, so it would be three years at least until he’d see them again.

Their parents weren’t bad parents. Sure, they made mistakes, but all in all they were loving and took care of their children. Ajax just had been a particularly needy child, always looking for attention and being scared of things. And then he fell into the earth and came back all wrong. His parents had been overwhelmed and didn’t know what to do, in a way he understood them.

But he still wished they would have believed him. It had been years since he tried to talk to them about what happened back then, he’d tried again once or twice when he visited shortly after becoming a fatuus. But then he’d given up. Talking to Lian had made him hope that maybe, just maybe, another try more than ten years later might yield a different result.

They didn’t have to fully understand, he didn’t want to subject them to the full terror of what had happened anyways. He didn’t want to torture them with this kind of knowledge. All he would want, would be acknowledging that he wasn’t insane. That they understood that there really did something happen.

He doubted that if he would be exiled, that they’d want to come visit him. But maybe he had it all wrong. Just maybe, his parents still cared about him, like Lian said. Maybe they really just didn’t know how to interact with him. Well, if he got exiled, he would probably never find out. So thinking about that wasn’t really useful now.

Zhongli’s fingers traveling up the inside of his forearm made him shiver, caressing the sensitive skin. It ripped him out of his thoughts and brought him back to the present. It was just the two of them and Lian left at the table.

“Guizhong is feeling tired, she took Katya with her to show her the guest rooms so she can relax for the night a bit as well,” Zhongli explained quietly.

“Oh. Did I space out that long?” Ajax asked sheepishly, feeling embarrassed. Had he been distracted enough to miss them getting up and leave?

The god shook his head. “Just a moment. I figured there’s a lot going on in your mind, so I let you be a little bit. I thought you might need to sort your thoughts.”

“No point in it anyways,” Ajax sighed. “I’ll have to just wait and see what happens and take things from there. I hate this, but it’s all too unsure and unpredictable now. Her majesty isn’t someone who is easy to predict how she’ll react.”

“I’ll be by your side through it all, no matter what. Every step along the way that you’ll let me walk with you. I understand taking me to Zapolyarny with you might make matters worse. That’s why I agreed to stay outside, or in your village, wherever would be best.”

“Thank you,” Ajax replied quietly, not able to resist himself he leaned over a little, pressing his forehead against the other’s upper arm for a short moment. He breathed in deeply, trying to calm his nerves with the scent of sun-warmed earth and glaze lilies.

“Anything,” Zhongli said easily.

“I’m going to bed as well,” Lian said and got up. She smiled at them warmly. “Have a good night.” She bent down, kissing the top of Zhongli’s hair affectionately.

“Good night, mama,” Zhongli said softly.

She walked over to Ajax. “Sleep well. And try not to think too hard about everything, yes? It will all turn out fine, I’m sure.”

Ajax nodded. “I’ll try. Sleep well, too.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, bending over and-

And there was gentle pressure at the top of his head, making his chest flood with warmth as he blinked in surprise at the sensation. When he turned around a bit, she had already soundlessly left the room.

It took him a moment to process that she’d kissed his hair as well. Giving him affection like this, as if they’d known each other for a long time. As if he was her own child. He looked over at Zhongli, worried that he’d be upset at the gesture. He only got his mother back, didn’t even get to spend a lot of time with her, and now he had to watch her do something like this.

And Lian might have told him that she didn’t think he ruined their reunion, but Zhongli still might think differently. Of course, he hadn’t treated him any differently than he did before after coming back, but maybe he just didn’t want to show openly that he was upset. “I- sorry,” he croaked.

“What are you sorry for?” The god asked, looking confused. His fingers still absentmindedly drawing patterns on his arm.

“I ruined your reunion, it somehow became all about me. First the water, then because I freaked out. Then because I messed up and we kept talking about the abyss during lunch, and I didn’t know how to redirect the conversation. And then this… I don’t know why she did that, I’m sorry.”

“Ajax,” Zhongli said quietly, his hand traveling down his arm, coming to rest on his, fingers moving on top of his own. “I don’t see anything of the sorts. I think we have vastly different viewpoints on today.”

“We do? Lian said she didn’t think I ruined things but… I-I still felt I should apologize to you. Because I thought you might see it differently,” he admitted.

“You want to know what I saw?” The god asked, his bright eyes glowing through the mortal disguise. It made Ajax feel weak, unable to do much more than nod.

Zhongli hummed softly. “I saw you going back to fetch the crates with things that are of immeasurable emotional worth for my mother and I. I saw you with me, supporting me through one of the scariest days in the last few hundred years. I was less nervous the day you set free Osial. I saw you going to fetch water for my mother and helping her. A complete stranger to you. Then helping her walk, talking to her, making sure she was comfortable and safe.

I saw you open up to people that are very important to me. I could see how my mother took an immediate liking to you. That’s why she did that. Because she already cares for you, because you let her see past the masks you usually keep up with others. I assume you did talk a little after I left?”

Ajax swallowed hard, feeling his throat constrict at his words. And he really said he had nothing from his mother. If anything, when it came to things like this, he already understood that Zhongli was very much like her.

“She-she was chatting with Guizhong, so I decided to go train archery a little. She found me there. And then taught me how to actually use a bow and arrow, turns out I’ve done it pretty wrong the entire time,” he admitted with a laugh.

Zhongli chuckled, his eyes warm. “Did it help?”

“Oh yes, I hit the center at the first try after she corrected me. And well, we talked. About lots of things. She’s very nice. She uhm, talked about your father. Which I only now realize… there’s surely things about your past that you don’t want me to know. But talking to her, she doesn’t know what you don’t want me to know… Ugh,” Ajax groaned.

The gods hand tightened, fingers slotting between his own again. “Don’t worry about that. There’s nothing. She might have some embarrassing stories from my childhood, but I don’t have anything to hide from you. Talk to her as much as you like, I’m happy you two get along,” he said gently. “What did she tell you about him?”

His words made the ginger feel even warmer than he already did, his heart fluttering in his chest. “Quite a bit… She told me how they met. And how happy they were when you were born, how they never even considered having a second child because for them it was just perfect with the three of them.”

“She said that?” Zhongli looked at him surprised, eyes a little wide.

“Huh? Yeah, that’s what she said. That they were so proud and happy with you, that it was all they wanted.” Ajax nodded.

“Oh.”

“Is something wrong?” He asked carefully, observing the others stunned expression.

“No, no. Nothing wrong. I’m just surprised, I guess. I figured… because I’m not much like my mother, that maybe she would have wanted another child. One more like her. I thought maybe it just didn’t work out, and that she maybe had regrets. I never thought that they just didn’t want another child,” the god admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

Ajax squeezed his hand a little bit. “Definitely not the case from what she told me. The way she talked to me, it was clear that you were their world. Their precious son, their whole pride and joy.”

The god took a shivered breath, his free hand brushing over one of his eyes. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Nothing to thank me for. And never again say you’re not like her. You’re a lot more like her than you even think, trust me. It’s already crystal clear to me and I haven’t known her for a full day,” he said with a smile.

Zhongli chuckled softly. “I’ll trust your judgement then.”

“Good.”

“Shall we retreat too? I promised to take care of your shoulder. I’m sure training archery didn’t make it better either,” the brunette said, shaking his head lightly.

“Probably didn’t, but I got to learn from your mom. Who is a pretty badass archer, if I may say that,” Ajax grinned, getting up from his chair.

“She is. She taught me too when I was a child. Though I found my father’s spears a bit more fascinating.” Zhongli explained, getting up as well, not letting go of his hand.

He didn’t let go while preparing a new pot of tea, opting to carry the golden tray with one arm instead. Even as Ajax worried about things falling, he wouldn’t let go of his hand and just quietly pull him towards the hallway.

Chapter Text

When they entered Zhongli’s bedroom, he immediately put down the tray with the tea on the bed. Only then did he let go of Ajax’ hand, whose face was definitely red. As hot as it felt, it had to be. The god hummed a soft tune, his features shifting back to his true form, while walking over to the small cabinet and taking out the same oil bottles he had taken out last time.

“Still the same pains as last time? Or is there something different?” He asked while putting them on the small desk.

“The same, yeah. Just a bit sore and tense, but that’s from the training and all, it’s to be expected.” He replied, rolling his shoulder a little. It felt a bit uncomfortable and stiff.

“And no adverse effects last time?” The god asked, looking over at Ajax.

He quickly shook his head. “No. It felt nice. It helped, I think. It soothed the pains.”

“Good. Then I’ll use the same mixture as last time. If anything changes, we can make adjustments in the future. But I think if this mixture helps, then it’d be wise to keep going with it. Is that fine for you?”

“Of course. I’ll leave myself in your capable hands,” Ajax said with a grin. Slapping himself internally. Oh Tsaritsa’s tits. Maybe she should make a living ice statue out of him, put an end to him embarrassing himself.

Zhongli cracked a lopsided smile, then busied himself with preparing the oil mixture. This time, taking off his shirt didn’t feel as awful to Ajax as it did last time. He did still feel weird about all the marks on his skin, thoughts like these didn’t vanish over night. But he felt less exposed and less like he was committing heresy by having Zhongli see him like this.

When the god walked over to him with the small bowl, his heartbeat quickened. Just like last time, he put some oil into his hand first, warming it up. Then, very carefully, he spread it over his skin and started working it in, mindful of the pressure.

“Is the pressure fine?” He asked quietly, golden eyes looking down at him.

If he would have still been in his mortal form, they would have been almost the same height. But next to him in his true form, the ginger was definitely shorter. Not that Ajax minded much, even if the other was about half a head taller than him like this.

“Oh yes, feels nice,” he quickly assured. The other man’s touch always felt so pleasant. Touching him with so much care, as if he was something precious and fragile. As if just the slightest increase in pressure would damage him.

And it was strange, because he always associated something like this with feeling weak. And he never wanted to be weak. But he knew that Zhongli didn’t see him like that. He could be more vulnerable around him, without being seen as less than. Zhongli in turn was vulnerable with him as well after all, and Ajax didn’t see him as any weaker for it.

Zhongli’s fingers carefully moved along his collarbone, then over the shoulder joint and up towards his neck. He worked diligently, making sure that every bit was covered and that the oil was worked in well enough before going further.

As he stepped behind the Snezhnayan, he couldn’t help but close his eyes. The gentle, repetitive motions felt comforting and he started to relax.

“You’re quite tense back here, let me…” Zhongli murmured softly, massaging along his shoulder. He kept going like this for a bit, working on the muscles.

Ajax couldn’t help but sigh softly, contently. The uncomfortable pulling in his shoulder was starting to fade away under the god’s hands. To think that just a little while ago, he would have never let himself be this vulnerable around someone.

“Are you very worried about what will happen?” The brunette asked.

“I guess. It’s mostly… you know, I’ve been a fatuus since I was fourteen years old. I don’t know a different life. That’s the scary part about it. The prospect of losing that life. Losing your footing. Losing everything I worked for all these years, all my privileges and status. I grew up poor. Her majesty pays all harbingers handsomely, and she likes to show her approval with additional bonuses. As one of her favorites, I profited off that immensely of course.”

“I’m sorry. In the end, this is my fault,” he said softly.

“Why would it be? You didn’t force me to be friends with you. I became friends with you by my own choice. I’m not stupid, Zhongli. Don’t you think I’ve been in the fatui long enough before we met to not know and understand what consequences there might be?”

Zhongli sighed. “When we initially became friends, you didn’t know who I was.”

“And once I knew, I could have made the decision to put my status above our friendship and not get close to a foreign nation’s former archon. I promise, I was always aware of what might happen. Especially after I knew who you really are. It surprises me that it’s taken them this long, to be honest.” The ginger replied, shrugging slightly.

“The main thing that bothers me about it, are my siblings. If I get exiled, I won’t be able to see them for several years, as I won’t be allowed to ever step foot into Snezhnaya again. So until they’re old enough to travel by themselves, at least Tonia, I won’t be able to see them…”

He could feel Zhongli’s hand – the one that wasn’t still massaging his shoulder – on his waist, gently squeezing. “I will do everything in my power to make sure you can still see them. I could travel there and accompany them on the way to Liyue, and then back home again after they stayed here for a while.

Even if it means crafting a portal in Snezhnaya to my realm, so they can come here and see you like this. If she won’t let me do that, I’ll just gift them a teapot with a portal inside. Trust me, I am the god of contracts, I know my way around loopholes.”

Oh how much he wanted to lean back against the god’s broad chest. Rest his head against his shoulder, feel his warmth against his back. Maybe have his strong arms wrap around his waist, hugging him from behind. Feel the other’s strength against himself, grounding him, making him feel safe. Sometimes it seemed easy to forget that they weren’t a couple.

Whoever had been Zhongli’s loved one, if they got to be in a relationship with him, they had been incredibly lucky. And while he wasn’t jealous – there was no point in it, after all – he did feel a bit envious.

“You’d do that for me? Wouldn’t you get in trouble with her for something like that?” He asked carefully.

“I’m the oldest of the seven. Even if I’m no longer an archon, I still think she won’t want to antagonize me. Even without a gnosis, I’m quite sure I would still pose a threat to her. Other than her, I have killed gods before.” Zhongli said, slightest hint of a low growl vibrating through the last words making Ajax’ heart beat quicker.

“She hasn’t?”

“No. Your Tsaritsa isn’t one of the original seven after all, so she never participated in the archon war. The last cryo archon was a man named Stolas, whose ideal was ‘agriculture’. That’s why Snezhnaya was more prosperous in the past. Because Stolas made sure that for the time that the ground could be used, it would be used to the best potential. There used to be so much produce, that it was enough to properly feed the own population through the harsh months and still export surplus goods to other nations.” Zhongli explained.

“He was killed about 600 years ago, someone trying to get his place for himself. But the gnoses don’t quite work like that, not anyone can be an archon. Celestia saw him as unworthy and the cryo gnosis rejected him, afterwards the Tsaritsa became the new cryo archon.”

Ajax blinked at this amount of information, that he’d never heard before. Knowledge about the former cryo archon was scarce in Snezhnaya. “I didn’t know any of this. I mean I knew she wasn’t the first cryo archon, but we don’t really get taught anything about the first one. I… I don’t know if it’s that people just didn’t see the point to give this knowledge to future generations or if it was kept secret on purpose.”

“I’ve only met Saleos once, a very long time ago. Shortly after she became the cryo archon. Barbatos is the one who knew her well, but he always said she was such a friendly person. They were quite close, I believe. But, as he said, she changed drastically. I’m not sure when this change took place, but it would have to have been after the cataclysm.” Zhongli said with a hum, his right hand still carefully working the oil into his skin.

“Saleos… So that’s her name?” Ajax asked, blinking in surprise. He had only ever heard her being referred to as her majesty or the Tsaritsa. He had figured she had a name of course, but he’d never thought too hard about it.

The god hummed in confirmation while his left hand stayed at his waist, holding him gently. His right hand slowly trailed over his shoulder to his spine. Ajax briefly wondered what he’d done with the bowl containing the oil, until he remembered that he stood right next to the bed. So Zhongli likely had put it down there.

He felt the warm oil run over his skin, the brunette carefully swiping down to catch the escaping oil, working it along his spine. The hand on his waist disappeared, then he felt it brush against his nape, holding his hair up while applying the oil there with his other hand. Ajax sighed again, relieved that the annoying pulling sensation wasn’t as strong anymore, just a subdued pulsing.

When Zhongli was done and moved away, Ajax lazily opened his eyes again. He rolled his shoulder experimentally, pleased to find that the movement felt easier than before. “Thank you,” he said, looking at the god who was wiping his hand clean with a towel.

A gentle smile appeared on his face. “Ah, no need to. It pleases me if it really helps you.”

“It does. I feel a lot better already,” he assured.

“Perfect. See, you won’t have to endure this for all eternity,” Zhongli said, turning to get them sleeping robes from the wardrobe.

Ajax chuckled softly. “What, are you offering to do this for me for the next few hundred years?”

“If it means you won’t have to feel pain all the time,” he said easily, as if it was nothing.

The ginger felt heat rise in his cheeks. “You can’t just say things like that,” he muttered.

“You’d be surprised,” Zhongli replied, unbothered. He turned around, reaching Ajax a robe in a beautiful shade of turquoise, circular designs in a darker tone painted on it.

For a moment, Ajax couldn’t help but look at the other man, who stood slightly turned away from him. His fingers nimbly opened the buttons of his shirt, shrugging it off his shoulders and revealing his arms. Quickly, before he could be caught looking, he turned a bit and started getting dressed.

Shortly after, they were lounging on the bed, tray with their tea between them.  Ajax sighed softly, relaxing into the mountain of fluffy pillows. He wasn’t sure how he’d ever go back to sleep in his own bed. Zhongli’s was the most comfortable bed he’d ever laid on.

He was used to sleeping on hard, uncomfortable beds or even just on the ground or in a chair. Of course, with a harbingers salary he could easily afford an expensive bed. But as someone who rarely stayed long in one place, he’d never seen a point.

His quarters in Zapolyarny palace were barren, the only personal belongings there were some spare clothes. His old room at home was now the bedroom of Teucer and Anthon, so there weren’t really any of his belongings there anymore either. He wasn’t sure what his parents had done with his things, maybe they had gotten rid of them.

The apartment he lived in here in Liyue was much the same as his quarters in the palace. Though at this point, there were some personal touches, considering he had lived there for seven months now, safe for a short trip to Inazuma trying to hunt down Scaramouche.

“Do you have plans for tomorrow?” Zhongli asked, blowing onto his tea gently, ripping him from his thoughts.

“Hm. I don’t, actually. I got done with all my paperwork today, there shouldn’t be a lot to do by tomorrow if there isn’t something urgent coming up. Or maybe a debt-collection coming in. What about you?”

“No plans. Director Hu told me to take some time off still, they’ll just come and fetch me. Oh, before I forget, so you know. I told her that I’m an adeptus. And that I lived through the archon war. I… I figured it would make things easier for Guizhong and my mother. If people already know I’m an adeptus, they won’t have to worry as much about what they say.”

Ajax looked at him surprised. “You know by dawn the whole harbor will know?”

Zhongli gave him a cocky grin. “I count on it.”

“Pffff, so you’re just letting her run her mouth and by morning everyone will know without you lifting a finger.” Ajax laughed, shaking his head.

“I thought this might be the better solution. The harbor’s rumor mill is infamous, and we both know director Hu loves gossip. She went for dinner with Yanfei, I would guess to Wanmin. Which means by the time they’re done eating, surely everyone in there knows. And from there, it’ll spread through the night market like a wildfire. Come morning, it will reach the sailors and craftspeople.”

“You aren’t worried about people accidentally figuring out who you really are?” The ginger asked, slightly worried.

“No. Rex Lapis died in public, everyone that was at Yujing Terrace saw it that day. Why would anyone think we are the same person then?” The god asked, taking a sip of his tea.

“Katya knows who you are. Even if by accident.”

Zhongli hummed, looking at him curiously. “And? If anything, I know that she can keep secrets. And I have no reason to doubt her. She came to me for help. She’s one of the few people that I never cared about knowing. Honestly, I thought being your secretary, that she might have known already.”

“I would have never told her. I told you I’d keep your identity a secret,” Ajax replied a little defensively.

The adeptus quickly shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you would have given it away. I know you’d never. I meant that I assumed that my identity might be an open secret in fatui ranks at this point. That someone like Katya, who has been assisting you this whole time, would have been made aware of my identity as part of your mission and my contract with your goddess, perhaps even.”

“Ah. No, no. I think Signora and I are the only ones that know. And she’s… well. The electro archon dealt with her.” Ajax said, grimacing. Not that he was sad about it or anything, he had never liked her much. The only one who was close with her was Arlecchino, from what he’d seen.

“Oh? She angered Beelzebul?” Zhongli asked, one of his brows quirking up.

“Well, from what I heard she lost against Lumine in a duel before the throne. The loser loses their life, so the archon got rid of her. I’m expecting there to probably be a funeral of some sorts in Snezhnaya, if I’m not kicked out by then I’ll probably receive a summons for that soon.”

“You don’t seem bothered by the loss of your fellow harbinger. You weren’t close?” Zhongli shuffled a little, changing his position slightly.

“She hated my guts. She’s super arrogant and when I became a harbinger she kept giving me a hard time saying I didn’t deserve such a high rank. Just because I’m a few hundred years younger than any of them, doesn’t mean I can’t make a good harbinger. Shows what I’m made of, no? Being given such a rank the day I turned eighteen,” Ajax said with a huff, taking a sip of his tea.

“Oh? I wasn’t aware they were all that old.”

“I don’t know how old they really are. But I know that they’re all significantly older than me. Signora was a few hundred years old, I know she hates Barbatos because of something that happened when she was young.

Arlecchino looks maybe around my age, but she’s said to be over three hundred years old. I don’t know if it’s true though. Dottore probably too, but since he’s a mad doctor, who knows. He’s probably found some way to stay immortal, especially considering he split himself into different segments at different ages.

Pierro is old as dirt for sure. I mean, no offense to you. There’s rumors that he’s a sage from a long since dead civilization. Scaramouche isn’t even a human, apparently? And something like 500 years old, if you can believe what Pantalone said about him. For the others, I just know they’re all older too, but I don’t know any of them well enough to know any details, really. Even Pulcinella, who I got along with well enough.”

“Huh. Sounds like you didn’t interact with them a lot.” The god took a sip of his tea and looked at him curiously.

“I really didn’t. It wasn’t just Signora looking down at me. And I have enough survival instinct to stay clear of Dottore, the guy wants to cut me open ever since he met me. And even if they knew about me being an abyss monster, they still didn’t take me seriously. So I only really ever talked with them when necessary.” Ajax explained.

“Understandable then. Especially if this Dottore is out to steal your organs or something,” Zhongli said, shaking his head. “Good thing I will accompany you, I will make sure he won’t get close to you.”

The fatuus felt warm, sighing softly. “I told you, I can’t take you into the palace.”

“Why not, tell her I wanted to say hello. I haven’t seen her in several hundred years,” the god shrugged. Making it sound like it would be the easiest thing.

“If you want to take me back to Liyue as an ice sculpture, you could just tell me,” Ajax said with a laugh, nudging his shin with his foot.

Zhongli made a displeased noise. “If she tries anything the like, I will level the entirety of Snezhnaya. And when she turns you back to normal, I will strike her with a meteor.”

“Zhongli!” Ajax said, exasperated.

“What? I am the god of geo, even in a foreign nation. She knows better than to anger me. I’d even think that I’m probably one of the only people in Teyvat that she doesn’t want to antagonize. So it would be useful if I come with you, I have many perfectly reasonable threats that I can hold over her.”

Ajax made a choked noise. “She’s still my goddess.”

“For now,” Zhongli said easily. “I don’t think she will be if she exiles you, no? Then she’s fair game, isn’t she?”

“Can you stop considering murdering the goddess that I have sworn my everlasting loyalty to at one point in my life?” The fatuus asked, shaking his head fondly. In a way, it was… cute. That Zhongli wanted to protect him that much. But he really didn’t want to think about everything escalating.

“Sorry,” the god sighed. “I guess I’m just worried and worked up too. And I would just really prefer it if you took me with you to the palace. I can hide, I can make myself small.”

“You’re not small, Zhongli.”

“I can be any size I want to be. I can change into my beast form and be the size of a ferret if I want to.” He explained.

Ajax raised his eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“Of course. I can change size however I please. I don’t particularly like making myself that small because it feels… tight and constrictive. But it’s fine for a short while.”

“Won’t she be able to feel your presence?” Ajax asked, looking at him unsure.

“Don’t worry about that.”

“My-My harbinger’s uniform, the formal one… It has a big coat with fur on it, and I usually wear a scarf to keep the cold out. I guess I might be able to hide you in my clothes, maybe…” Ajax muttered, thinking it over.

“Now that’s a good idea if I ever heard one,” the god chuckled, clearly pleased with it.

Chapter Text

He was running. He didn‘t understand why he was here, how unlucky he had to be to fall into this strange, horrific place. He was just a child.

There was a flash of searing hot pain in his chest, as he felt the electro abyss mage’s power. He gasped, his whole body hurt from the electric shock. He turned around, sending a slash of hydro towards him. He knew it wouldn’t keep him away, hydro wasn’t a problem for an electro abyss mage. Which sadly meant, that he was at a disadvantage.

Using his foul legacy wasn’t a pleasant process. It hurt, as it disassembled and reassembled his whole body. Which a human body wasn’t meant to do. Sure, his master had said that it would eventually hurt less, the more used he got to it. But he was still hesitant to use it. Foul legacy was the strongest reminder that he was no longer a human.

And this was what he was holding onto down here. Whatever was left of his humanity. Even if it was just the shell outside, everything inside replaced by abyss. But as long as he still had the shape to call himself human, he would be fine. He would get out of here, and go back to his family. Maybe live a normal life after everything was over.

Everything shifted, suddenly there wasn’t an electro abyss mage chasing after him anymore. Rather it was a whole pack of rift hounds. Their corrosive properties couldn’t hurt him, as he was a fellow abyss monster. But that didn’t mean that their teeth and claws couldn’t do a lot of damage still.

Just as he could feel the familiar sensation of a rift hound claw ripping down his back, he could hear the high pitched squeal of a night crow, giant bird swooping down to peck against his head.  He raised his arms, shielding his face to not get his eyes pecked out.

He kept running, the rift hounds leaving him alone finally. The night crow let up as well, and he wondered why since they usually were quite persistent. He gasped, lowered his arms slowly – and before him stood a steel-maw ant.

It looked quite like a normal ant, except that it was the size of a small house and it had a razor sharp mandibles. It could easily snap his torso in two. One of them had done so before, and he didn’t look forward to dying like this again. He’d rather be torn apart by rift hounds.

He started to walk backwards, keeping sight on the ant, hoping it hadn’t noticed him yet. Maybe he would be able to get away. He didn’t want to die again, didn’t want to feel this pain again.

“Ajax.”

This voice, this wasn’t his master. Who was calling for him? This was the voice of a man.

Was he even still Ajax? With how much the abyss had changed him? Did he still deserve to be called that?

He was trembling, the ant started walking forwards quickly. It had definitely noticed him. He turned around to run, his foot catching on something and making him fall. “No, please no,” he gasped, breath ragged.

He was tired of it, dying over and over again. All this pain tearing through his body. He could feel the hard mandibles against his sides, lifting him up, sharp pressure against his sides building.

Ready to snap him in half.

“No!”

“Ajax!”

He gasped for air, waking up with a start, sitting up quickly.

Panting, he took in his surroundings. He wasn’t in the abyss. This was a normal bedroom. Dimly lit by the lanterns on the bedside tables.

Zhongli’s bedroom.

He could feel a warm hand run up and down his back, comforting and gentle.

A nightmare. That was all it had been. He rarely had them since the abyss. Once you saw and experienced horrible things, what was there to fear still?

“Ajax,” the god called, just a whisper now. Oh. It had been his voice that he heard in his nightmare.

“I’m sorry, I woke you up, didn’t I?” He asked, voice wobbly. He still felt shaken.

“I woke up by myself. I noticed that you were breathing erratically. Something seemed wrong. I… I guessed it might be a nightmare, so I tried to wake you,” Zhongli explained quietly, his hand still moving over his back, slow and gentle.

Only now he realized that Zhongli was sitting right by his side, so close that his upper arm almost touched the god’s chest. He let out a shaky breath, feeling his eyes burn. Oh god, he wasn’t going to cry, was he?

“Shhh, everything is alright. You’re safe. Nothing can happen to you here,” the god said softly. “I’m here. Nothing can harm you, I won’t let anything do that.”

Ajax swallowed hard, his throat feeling tight. He couldn’t help himself, he leaned a little bit against the other man. Not too much, not enough that he’d lose his balance and topple over when he inevitably would move away from him.

Except that he didn’t. When the ginger leaned against him, Zhongli adjusted his position, wrapping his arm around his back instead. Carefully letting the Snezhnayans head rest against his shoulder. His free hand reached for one of the other’s, taking hold of it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zhongli asked, voice low and comforting.

“I don’t think you want to hear. It was a nightmare after all, it’s nothing pretty. And after what I’ve seen, I rarely ever get them,” Ajax explained. He didn’t want to shock the other. The abyss was horrible in every shape.

“Ajax, I’ve lived through the archon war. I have killed with my own two hands. Not to downplay your experiences, but I’m quite immune to horrific sights,” Zhongli murmured, voice beautifully low.

It was hard to resist the urge to hide his face in the crook of his neck. Letting the deep baritone rumble, lulling him back to sleep. He was still trembling, probably wouldn’t be able to sleep either way.

“Are you really sure?” He asked, small.

“Of course. Except you’re not comfortable with sharing such things with me,” the god said gently.

Ajax could only nod. If he could, he’d share everything with him. His whole life, his whole heart, every single breath. He would give it all to Zhongli. But unfortunately, it would all only ever be based on friendship. But he couldn’t feel too bad about it, when the god treated him so kindly.

Zhongli changed their position again, so they’d half sit half lie against the soft cushions. He pulled Ajax with him so they’d both rest on their sides, facing each other. Their bodies close to each other, knees touching. He carefully draped the incredibly soft and fluffy blanket around them. Then his hand came up to carefully brush the gingers bangs out of his face.

“I, uhm, dreamt about the abyss. I was chased by some of the creatures down there. It’s stupid, really. I shouldn’t even have nightmares about this,” he said sheepishly.

“Why not? It’s logical that you’d have them.” The god replied, fingers moving to brush through Ajax’ hair absentmindedly.

Ajax sighed. “I didn’t have any for years. And you’d think I got used to the things I saw down there, so it wouldn’t affect me anymore.”

“I’ve once heard that people only dream or have nightmares, when they feel safe enough to sleep as deep as the body requires it to do so. But I don’t know if that’s true, it’s just something I heard,” Zhongli hummed.

“It’s hard not to feel safe when you have a dragon guarding you, who threatens to destroy a whole nation should harm come to you,” the ginger said softly, lips twitching into a smile.

“Others would be scared of the dragon.”

Huffing softly, the Snezhnayan reached up to brush Zhongli’s bangs out of his eyes. “Not me. Not ever. How could I, when you’re always this nice to me? The only thing I’m scared of that has to do with you, is doing something that ruins our friendship.”

“Don’t worry about that. I still owe you one from my retirement fiasco,” Zhongli admitted with a chuckle.

“Ha, fine. I’ll hold you to that if I ever screw up really badly.”

“You can. I promise you that, by my honor as the god of contracts,” the brunette replied, his eyes glowing slightly. “So. Your nightmare?”

“Uhm. So. Yeah. There’s a lot of weird creatures in the abyss. Like. A LOT. And all of them are out to kill you, one way or another. Because everyone is trying to survive, whatever it takes. And as I mentioned before, in the abyss you can’t truly die. You die, and then you just get back up. Well, safe for if you’re eaten. Which my master and I avoided. Well, mostly her watching me so I wouldn’t be eaten, she knows her way around the abyss much better than I did, obviously. She’s survived down there for goddess knows how long. But don’t ask me how exactly it works, I don’t know,” Ajax said.

 “I dreamt about an electro abyss mage attacking me. Who I hated encountering because with my hydro vision I have a bit of a weakness against them. Same with the electro rift hounds.”

Zhongli’s fingers were still brushing through his hair, playing with the messy strands, sending shivers down his scalp and spine. He hummed, encouraging him to keep going.

“Well, then I was chased by rift hounds and attacked by a night crow. Which are big black birds, they swoop down to slash you with their talons or try to peck your eyes out. They’re the size of a rowboat. And they make this annoying cawing noise, like crows. But the worst of all are steel ants. The size of a house with hard, sharp mandibles. They chop you in half with them without a problem. That’s what I dreamt when I woke up. The feeling of… well. You can imagine.” Ajax said, grimacing.

Zhongli frowned a little, his fingers moving deliciously slowly through his hair. “Oh Ajax,” he said softly. “You were so young, of course you would be deeply frightened. Even I am scared of the abyss.”

“You are?” The ginger asked, looking up at him with surprise.

“I wouldn’t go down there voluntarily in any case. What little experience I have with it and it’s powers and creatures, is more than enough for me. You know, when you’ve seen things like that, often you don’t immediately work through it. Sometimes it takes days, months, years until your brain and your soul feel ready to work through such a trauma.”

“And you think that’s what’s happening? But why now?” Ajax blinked lazily when Zhongli’s fingers brushed over his temple, moving a strand of his bangs behind his ear.

Zhongli made a soft, noncommittal noise. “It might. Things are different now for you than they were before. You told me you never really talked about it after your family didn’t believe you. But here, you have people that do. You told me about it, Guizhong and my mother too. Speaking about things often help to process them. So it might be that you’re finally starting to consciously and subconsciously work through what happened to you.”

Ajax reached out and took a strand of Zhongli’s hair between his fingers. Carefully, he let it slide through them, making sure it wouldn’t catch and hurt the god. He slowly twirled it a little before moving it between his fingers. The adeptus smiled at him when he noticed, looking unbothered, so he kept going.

“That… That is true, I guess,” he said quietly. All these years, he had shoved all these memories to the very back of his mind. Put it away in some far away drawer, putting a lock around it. But Zhongli, Guizhong and Lian had wanted to know. Genuinely so. And had believed him, not questioning everything and thinking he went insane, like his family did.

“In my experience, if you can’t talk about things, you often stay stuck in the past. I know this problem very well. What do you think why I still struggle with what I did and with what people expected of me?” the other man asked, raising an eyebrow.

“So you have that problem too? You never had someone you could talk to about the archon war?”

“I won the archon war. You know what people think when they know you won and you start talking about that topic?” Zhongli asked, sighing softly.

“Probably that you want to brag,” Ajax said with a light laugh, obviously not serious.

“You laugh, but that’s exactly it. Some of the adepti that survived would have never talked to me about this, because in their view I had nothing to talk about except brag about my victory. Not all of them of course, but those that weren’t like that were… the people that I didn’t want to show my weakness to.

Xiao and Ganyu look up to me, I never wanted them to see that part of me. I did talk to Guizhong back then, but I lost her before the war was over. And the longer it went on, the crueler it became because everyone was desperately trying to be the last one standing.”

“I’m always here for you if you want to talk. No matter about what, you can talk to me about anything,” Ajax said, reaching out to brush the gods bangs out of his eyes.

He loved him so much. After the abyss, he had always thought that he wasn’t human enough anymore to love. But apparently he was, and human enough to love so much, so fiercely. It made him kind of happy. Knowing he was capable of feeling love for someone other than the familial love he felt for his siblings.

His reward was a warm, beautiful smile. “Thank you. I appreciate it very much.”

“How do you always say? Anything.” Ajax replied, grinning. If Zhongli treated him like that, the least he could do was return the sentiment. And he really wanted him to come to him when he wanted to talk to someone.

Of course, he might still prefer to talk to Guizhong or his mother of course. But he did offer, and that mattered already, right? If he wanted to, he would come to him. He would be there and gladly listen. After all, he loved when Zhongli talked. His deep, smooth baritone was like warm honey, he could probably read inventory lists to him and he’d follow every single word with his full attention.

Zhongli chuckled softly, ruffling his hair a little, making Ajax laugh. “Isn’t my hair messy enough already?”

“Oh come on, it doesn’t look bad. Quite cute when it’s messy like this,” Zhongli said teasingly.

Ajax could feel his heartbeat quicken. Cute? Him? No, no, not him. His hair. Small, but important difference. “If only it had a different color.”

“Why?” The god asked, looking at him intently.

“You know, with how people used to bully me about it. I guess I just never liked it because of that. I always was mad that I didn’t get my father’s hair color. Blonde would have been easier,” he admitted quietly.

“Hm. Not that you would look bad as a blonde, but I quite like this color,” Zhongli murmured.

The fatuus blinked up at him. “You do?”

“Mhm, I do. It’s special. Only one man in the entirety of Liyue with hair like this, and that’s you. I like how it looks like in the sun, looking almost like high grade copper. I used to dislike my own hair color, because I felt it was plain. Got a little better when it turned amber partially, after I ascended to godhood.”

Ajax swallowed, hoping the gods enhanced senses wouldn’t pick up on his heartbeat. Zhongli’s fingers splayed over his scalp, combing through his hair gently. It reminded him of how his mother used to do this, sometimes quickly comb his hair like this when it was too messy from playing.

“T-thank you. I think your hair would be pretty even without the amber. But of course, that’s very special too. Even more so with how it sometimes glows. That’s incredibly cool.”

Zhongli chuckled softly. “Become a god, get a makeover.”

Ajax snorted ungracefully, lightly nudging his side. “I’m not sure that’s as easy as you make it sound.”

“Probably not. I couldn’t even tell you how, I certainly don’t know what tipped the scale for me when I ascended to godhood. I don’t know what Celestia’s criteria were and which I fulfilled to get there.” The adeptus admitted. “So I’m no help at all. I couldn’t even tell you how to make sure you get a vision.”

“But don’t you give those out? Or well, used to. The geo ones. Wait, does that mean there won’t be new geo vision holders anymore now that you retired?” Ajax asked curiously.

“Ah no, don’t worry. The visions aren’t given by the archons, usually. It’s Celestia. They look who fits the criteria of each archon and then there’s a chance you might get one. We can make requests for specific individuals if someone catches our eye, though.”

“Oh, so I wasn’t good enough for you, huh?” Ajax asked with a laugh, obviously just teasing.

Zhongli huffed softly. “I only met you once two other archons already claimed you for themselves. I wouldn’t say I stood a chance. Else someone as tenacious as you surely would have been fitting of a geo vision.”

“What, for real?”

“Of course. You are loyal, stand by your word and stand strong against anything that is thrown your way. I actually thought about it for a while, how several different visions would be fitting for you. But alas, Focalor was the fastest – fitting for the hydro archon. If I had met you visionless, I might have just made my second request.”

“Your second? That’s how picky you are?” Ajax laughed. “Lucky whoever got that one geo vision.”

“Well, Celestia seems quite good at picking them, so I stayed out of it. Safe for that one exception.” Zhongli said, shrugging. “I think she was a little too young for Celestia to consider her yet, so I requested them to give her one. I wanted to see what she could do with it.”

“And what did she do with it?” Ajax asked, desperate to find out.

“In the twenty years since, she has completely switched her life around. She was born in poverty, selling everything she could to make money for her family. Today, she is the richest woman in Liyue.”

The fatuus gaped. “You personally chose to give a vision to Lady Ningguang?!”

Chapter Text

Zhongli was the first to wake up that morning. Ajax still laid almost how he fell asleep, his face now pressed into the god’s chest. He had put his arms around the younger man, a promise of a safe sleep. Warm breath fanned against his chest, he could feel it even through the silk of his robe. But it was gentle and regular, indicating that Ajax was sleeping peacefully.

Not like in the middle of the night, when he woke up to the other tossing and turning, breathing erratically and whimpering in his sleep. He’d tried to wake him up a few times before finally did. Ajax had looked so terrified. He wanted to hug him close, kiss his hair, tell him everything would be alright. But he had to hold back. He still got to hold and comfort him.

He appreciated Ajax telling him about his nightmare, the implied trust stirring something warm in him. He hoped that he would be able to help him work through this trauma, slowly but surely. That Ajax would dare to share more of his experiences with him, and maybe it would help him heal.

It broke his heart how hurt he was at such a young age. And he only knew very little of it yet. He couldn’t help but wonder, if he did end up getting to meet Ajax’ family, would he maybe be able to help mend things? Maybe he could have a word with his parents, tell them that the abyss was real and ask them to please reconsider their viewpoint of their son.

Things didn’t have to be broken beyond repair. He could clearly feel how much the ginger cared for his family, how much he actually loved them. Even if he was hurt and felt cast out.  Maybe they still cared more about him than he thought.

Zhongli gently brushed his fingers through the other mans soft hair, just like he had last night. It looked beautiful in the light of the early morning sun. A sigh left Ajax’ lips. His right arm was draped over Zhongli’s waist, hand lightly holding onto the fabric of his robe in the back.

He looked adorable like this. The god could watch him for hours and hours, never getting tired of it. He was thankful that even if they weren’t lovers, he got to experience things like this with Ajax. He was so good for him.

And he was so happy that his mother seemed to like him so much. How cute he looked, flustered as he was when she kissed his hair yesterday! She clearly already understood what a sweet person he actually was. Sometimes he was stunned how different Ajax actually was from how he used to be.

Sure, he would always be a fighter. Zhongli knew this intimately well, he too was a fighter and thrived with the thrill of battle. But maybe they could help each other calm down a little. It did seem like the snezhnayan felt calmer around him too, after all.  

He could feel Ajax’ grip on his robe tightening, his face pressing into his chest more with a disgruntled noise. Zhongli kept brushing through his hair, loving these soft moments in the early morning, where it was easy to forget that they were only friends.

“Good morning,” Ajax’ said, muffled against the gods chest.

He smiled. “Good morning, Ajax.”

“If you keep that up, I’ll probably fall right back asleep,” he muttered, sighing softly.

Zhongli chuckled, not stopping. “Sleeping in a little hasn’t harmed anyone.”

A soft, tired yawn. “Are you sure about that?”

“Probably,” he admitted.

Ajax laughed, shaking his head. He moved his head back a little, looking up at the god. He blinked lazily.

“Were you able to sleep better now?” Zhongli asked. He hadn’t noticed him stirring in his sleep much since he fell asleep again at least.

The ginger nodded. “Yeah. Thanks to you. Thank you again for last night. Uhm. Well. For everything else, too. I’m not quite sure what I’d do without you.”

It made Zhongli feel warm and happy. “You’re welcome. I will always do whatever I can to help you.”

“You’re spoiling me,” Ajax said, laughing softly.

“Being there for you is the least I can do. Having someone supporting you shouldn’t be a novelty,” Zhongli murmured, his fingers brushing over Ajax’ temple.

“It is though.” He could feel the younger man letting go of his robe, his hand instead starting to slowly run along his back, making him shiver with delight.

“Never again. I won’t let you be lonely and all by yourself again. No matter what, you will always have a place to stay here and someone looking out for you. No matter where life may take you in the future.”

“You make it sound like you think I’ll be leaving Liyue,” Ajax huffed, wiggling a bit, getting more comfortable. His hand moved from his back, brushing over his robe and came to rest on his waist.

Zhongli shook his head lightly, sighing. “No… I just… I just want you to know. Even if you might want to leave for a few years, see the world or so. You will always have a home here, if you want it. A safe haven to come back to.”

“Thank you. But I don’t intend to leave. If I’m exiled from Snezhnaya, I am determined to build a life here. Sure, maybe trips to other nations, it would be nice to see the world. But… you know, it would be terribly boring to go all by myself, so maybe you’d like to join me for those trips? It’s been a while since you’ve been to other nations, no?” The ginger hummed, drawing patterns on his waist absentmindedly. “I’m sure Hu Tao would give you a few days off to travel.”

Zhongli felt his heartbeat quicken. He wanted to travel with him? Have him come along to see other nations? “You don’t think I’d bore you to death?”

“Never. You could read a dictionary to me and I wouldn’t be bored. I promise you. No, I’d find it exciting to have you with me. Imagine how many new things we could explore together!” Ajax smiled, warm and gentle. “But if you don’t want to, I understand, of course.”

“I would love that,” the god hurried to say, probably sounding way too eager. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Ajax couldn’t know about his feelings. “I was just worried.”

“Hey, you know I’m a man of culture too. I like to see historical sites and the likes, so you won’t need to worry about a thing. I’ve been to Inazuma briefly, I didn’t get a chance to see the famous local theatre, maybe we could go see that sometime. And the grand Narukami shrine is a sight to behold, but I’ve only seen it from afar. And I’ve only seen a little bit of Mondstadt too.”

“Ah, right. You were stationed in Mondstadt before you came to Liyue, right?” The god asked, brushing the other man’s bangs out if his face. He would look good with his hair slicked back, he decided. Though he was sure he would always find him attractive, even if he wore a rice sack over his head.

He nodded lazily, hand coming up to brush a stray strand of Zhongli’s hair away. “Yeah. Just for roughly three months before I came to Liyue. I haven’t been back to Snezhnaya in about a year.”

“You’ll miss it, won’t you?”

“It’s my home. I grew up there, the culture is a part of me and has shaped me over my childhood. I will miss it. I will miss ice fishing and ice skating. I will miss how much snow we’d have and having snowball fights with my little siblings or building snowmen and igloos with them. But other things… I can still cook snezhnayan food. I can still read books in snezhnayan. If I want to see lots of snow, I can just make a trip to dragonspine. Winter is approaching here too, does Liyue even get snow?”

“We do, we do. Some parts of it more than others, of course. The harbor usually only gets a little bit, since it’s at the coast, so the weather here is always a bit milder. Mhh… Maybe up to your ankle? Maybe a little bit more. But further in the country, there’ll be more.”

Zhongli laughed softly. “Reminds me… The area around Mt. Aocang always gets a lot. The lakes around there also freeze over sometimes. I loved playing in the snow when I was little. Though I couldn’t for long, I would get tired quickly. Or I’d sit and just watch the snow fall. I love when the snow looks like feathers falling from the sky. Still often sit by the window with a cup of tea and watch when it does that.”

“See, I’ll feel right at home in Liyue. Already do,” Ajax murmured.

“You do?” Zhongli asked, happy about it. This was his nation, was it stupid that it made him happy that the man he loved felt at home here? How much he would love it, if he’d stay here forever with him. Become part of Liyue, become his even if just like this. If he already couldn’t have him as a lover or an allogene, he would be at least be one of Zhongli’s people. He could almost feel a possessive purr rise in his throat, keeping it down.

“Mhm. It’s hard not to. Everything is so warm here. The weather, the people… The food is good, the land is beautiful. I think that’s why I’m not freaking out as much as I would have a year ago or more. I would have been distraught at the prospect of getting kicked out of the fatui. Now it’s… It’s not fine, it still sucks. But a year ago I wouldn’t have known what to do with my life. But now I know that things will be alright, eventually.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied, brushing along the ginger’s temple. He watched Ajax close his eyes when his fingers brushed over his skin.

“I’ll probably still freak out once it’s official, don’t be fooled. I-I used to have bad anxiety. So I might be a bit of a mess and embarrass myself. Just so you can… you know. Decide if you really want to come along and possibly see me like that.” He said quietly, almost inaudible if it wasn’t for how close they were and Zhongli’s enhanced hearing.

“And you really think telling me this will deter me from coming and not give me another reason to come along? I told you, I’m coming with you. I will be there for you every step of the way. And I will be there to catch you when your world is breaking apart.”

“You really need to stop saying that you have nothing from your mother. The mix of a protective and possessive dragon and the gentle and caring qilin is really quite striking,” Ajax said, opening his eyes again and looking at him. Deep, deep blue. What had he called his foul legacy? The devouring deep. Yes, that beautiful deep blue really could devour him, pull him in and keep him there. It certainly had done so with his heart.

“I’m involved in all of this too. I’m the reason why you are in this situation. Least I can do is be there for you and help you with this.” He said firmly.

“And I told you that you’re not to blame.” Ajax said, equally firm.

“It’s not about blame. I don’t want to come with you because I feel responsible, you told me you could have chosen else but didn’t want to. I want to come with you, because you are my friend. And I want to be there and make sure you will be alright. Which I’m sure you will be, but I’d prefer to be there and see it firsthand. I don’t think it’s smart to stay here in Liyue and possibly cause earthquakes whenever I get anxious that something might be wrong.”

“You would do that?”

“It’s not a conscious thing. Even an archon can’t completely control their powers, some things just happen unconsciously. Back in archon war times, the people of Liyue had a word for earthquakes that would more literally translate to ‘dragons wrath’, because they thought they were a sign of my anger or a sign I was about to battle another god.” The adeptus explained with a deep breath.

Ajax raised his eyebrows, his hand slowly moving down over Zhongli’s cheek, brushing along the dusting of tiny, shimmering scales. “And were they right?”

“They were. I built this country with my own two hands, shaped most of it’s mountains and valleys. I’d hate to accidentally level it just because I’m sitting here and anxiously awaiting your return.”

“You’d rather level Snezhnaya instead, right?” Ajax asked, giggling lightly.

Zhongli huffed softly. “Rather that than Liyue.”

Ajax gently nudged his cheek with his pointer finger. “Hey, my family still lives there.”

“I’d make sure Morepesok is safe. I’d just level the area around the capital, that should be enough to get her to back off. And she’s not the only one who can turn people into statues.”

“What, you can do that?” Ajax asked, eyes wide.

“I can. I can turn whole armies to stone with the blink of an eye. Though, it does take more effort without a gnosis, I guess. But it’s something I used to do in the archon war. I didn’t have time to deal with the hundreds of beasts some gods would summon to fight me. I let them turn to stone and then dealt with their master.”

“I should stop being shocked whenever I hear something new about what you can do,” the ginger muttered, shaking his head with a chuckle. “It keeps surprising me, when really it shouldn’t. You’re an adeptus. A god. Were an archon. Of course you’re crazy powerful.”

The god shook his head. “I don’t think that it shouldn’t surprise you. It’s hard to imagine the full scope of someone’s abilities. I was surprised of yours when we were sparring. And I’m sure I only got a glimpse of them.”

“You were?” Ajax looked up at him, his lips slightly parted with surprise.

Zhongli wondered if they would feel as soft as they looked, if he were ever going to get the chance to kiss him. Which he most likely wouldn’t. He would never force one upon him, and neither would he take advantage of him when he was asleep. He didn’t even want to, if Ajax didn’t want it either. Ah, he had asked a question.

“I was. I had never seen a hydro user craft their weapons out of hydro. Much less did I expect them to behave almost the same as weapons from wood and metal when fighting. They do feel a little more… flexible, maybe, when the blows land. The clash doesn’t feel as hard for me, when using my spear. But they hold up just as well. That’s a tremendous skill.” 

Ajax flushed a pretty pink, spreading over his cheeks and nose. “Thank you.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’ve seen many different abilities over my lifetime. Never something of that caliber. Saleos chose well when she made you her vanguard.”

“Speaking of her… Do you think her abilities could harm you? I don’t know much about what she can do, I’ve only ever seen minor things…” The ginger mused, looking concerned.

“Her cryo abilities may be annoying, but I don’t think she’d be able to get through my shield. And I can mask my presence, so long as I stay hidden she probably won’t notice me,” Zhongli replied.

“But… But what about her other abilities? She is the goddess of love. Couldn’t she make you fall in love with someone? Or remove feelings you have for someone? I wouldn’t want her to do something like that to you either.”

“I don’t think she could change the very concept of how a mountain dragon loves. Which is once in a lifetime, for all eternity. Our love is set in stone. And she may be the goddess of love, but I am still the god of geo. So don’t worry about that, I don’t think she’d be able to do something like that. I wouldn’t let her do something like that to me.”

Ajax nodded, seemingly satisfied with that answer. He sighed softly. “We should get up, shouldn’t we?”

“At least someone else is already up and tinkering in the kitchen,” Zhongli hummed, hearing the soft clatter.

“You hear that all the way to here?” The ginger asked, sitting up and stretching his arms over his head. A soft yawn escaped his lips.

“I told you I have enhanced senses.”

He turned his head. Ajax flushed again, looking embarrassed. “Wait. Does that mean you can hear my heartbeat, too?”

“Of course.” Zhongli sat up as well, moving his legs over the edge of the bed. When his bare feet touched the floor, he noticed that it was cooler than the day before. It really was slowly starting to become winter, wasn’t it?

 “So this whole time you could hear it?!”

“I can hear it. But it doesn’t mean I pay attention to it the entire time. Imagine how good my hearing is, how many things I hear constantly. The brain tunes out most of that. If it wouldn’t, I wouldn’t be able to pay attention to people talking anymore. It’s all just background noise. The only times I listen to peoples heartbeats on purpose is when I want to figure out if they’re lying.”

“Sneaky,” Ajax said teasingly.

“It’s a good method,” Zhongli reasoned, standing up. For a brief moment he considered changing into his mortal form, seeing as Katya would be here as well. He didn’t want to frighten her. “Should I change?”

“Your clothes? I mean whatever you’re comfortable with, if you want to go to breakfast like this… This is your place after all, you can do or not what you please?” Ajax looked him over, shrugging.

Zhongli snorted. “Of course I’ll change my clothes. I mean my appearance. I was thinking to change into my mortal form, considering Katya will be joining us for breakfast.”

“You’re worried you’ll scare her.”

“She’s a human. Humans tend to be scared by my appearance.” He said, gathering his hair over his shoulder and twisting it, loosely tying it into a low bun.

“You really need to stop thinking that you look terrifying. You don’t. She’ll probably stare at you, but not for bad reasons. Except that she might find you attractive, seeing as people seem to swoon over your statues too.” Ajax turned a little, tidying the bed.

Zhongli only huffed. There was only one person he would want to think of him as attractive. And while Ajax had said something along those lines, it had sounded more like… Him thinking he wasn’t unattractive, because he was a god. As if gods might not be able to be unattractive. But it came across more like a general compliment, not as Ajax really thinking he was attractive.

Would he ever stop yearning for this man, who was so close yet so far out of his reach?

Chapter Text

Guizhong was the first one in the kitchen, which wasn’t all that surprising. She’d gone to bed early, and she always had been an early riser. And she was slowly but surely recovering, so she was starting to feel a lot better, less tired. She decided to get tea and a pot of congee started, busying herself with the motions so she could let her thoughts roam.

The only thing making her feel tired now were the two men. She’d been back just for a few days but she already knew two things: One – Childe was Zhongli’s one. And Zhongli had it bad. Practically worshipping the ground the redheaded boy was walking on. Two – Childe definitely reciprocated these feelings, quite possibly just as intensely. Scratch that. For sure he did love Zhongli just as intense as Zhongli loved him.

She wasn’t blind after all. She could clearly see the tender touches and loving gazes between them. How they were just gravitating towards each other, always in each other’s space. And they kept holding hands, sometimes through the entirety of a meal and longer. They already acted like a couple, all that was missing was them kissing to seal the deal.

Admittedly, they made a beautiful pair. They were both attractive people by themselves and looked good together. And how happy they seemed to be whenever they were with each other! Also, both of them were very powerful, each in their own way, so that made them an even more striking pair.

Oh by Celestia, how much she wanted to lock them in Zhongli’s bedroom.

Make them talk it out, admit their feelings to each other. So they could live happily for eternity. They both deserved it for sure. After all, they’d gone both through so much and were impacted by their past. They deserved this love, deserved to be together and heal from their wounds.

The door to the kitchen opened quietly and Lian stepped in, smiling as she saw Guizhong. “Ah, I’m not the first one awake. Good morning, Guizhong.”

“Good morning. Tea?” She asked, gesturing to the pot.

“I’d love some, thank you.” Lian said, watching her pour her a cup. She carefully handed it to the qilin woman, then moving back to stir the congee.

“The boys are still asleep?”

“Probably. Or still in Zhongli’s room getting ready or talking, who knows.” Guizhong shrugged.

“Ah. Which room is Childe staying in? I know which one’s yours and which one’s Katya’s…” The woman mused.

Guizhong laughed. “Your son’s.”

“Huh?” Lian looked at her wide-eyed, clearly surprised.

“They sleep in one bed. You know. Like best friends that absolutely aren’t crushing on each other do.”

“Are you serious?”

“I wish I was joking, trust me,” Guizhong said, shaking her head. “They’re so, so dense. Both of them. They’re giving me headaches.”

Lian groaned. “Does Childe think there’s someone else?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I haven’t been able to talk to him about his feelings for Zhongli. I’ve only talked to Zhongli about his feelings. All I know about Childe is that for me, it’s obvious he’s in love with him. But Zhongli doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Why does he think that?” The qilin took hold of her teacup, shaking her head and taking a sip. “Their gazes speak volumes. Morax should just confess, so they can figure things out.”

“He won’t. He refuses to. He’s scared that Childe might feel pressured to accept his confession. That he wouldn’t dare to risk offending him. And the last thing he wants is the man he loves dating him out of pity. So it’s going to have to be Childe who confesses. Which I don’t think he’ll do, because he’s too preoccupied trying to keep Zhongli in his life at all costs.” The goddess said with a sigh, brushing her hand over her temple to get a strand of hair out of the way.

The other woman nodded thoughtfully. “He seems very scared of losing him. He puts a lot of thought into what Morax might want or think. He didn’t want to be in the way of our reunion. He seems to put more care into what Morax wants than what he wants himself.”

Guizhong huffed. “Hm. I still think I should lock them in the bedroom.”

She moved to the cupboards, taking out more cups and enough bowls for everyone. She would have to take the time to read some cookbooks next. She knew some recipes, but only a handful of them. Ah, this reminded her –

“Oh, by the way. Here, put your hands on this, please. I transferred knowledge I gained from reading Zhongli’s books in here. If you put your hands on it and then close your eyes and concentrate, you can let my knowledge flow into your mind. Then you’ll know everything I put in there. Like the modern liyuen language and some basic history and other knowledge. I made sure to learn things first that would help with getting around in the outside world.” She put her dumbbell in front of the qilin, taking her hands and putting them on the sides of the cube.

“I’ll learn all these things instantly?” She asked, looking at her surprised.

“Yes. So hopefully, we can convince Zhongli to take us to the harbor and let us explore a little bit. I want to see everything!” Guizhong exclaimed, excited. She couldn’t wait to see what Liyue looked like today.

Lian’s hazel eyes sparkled, clearly the idea excited her just as much. Quickly, she closed her eyes and let the knowledge permeate her. Guizhong watched her for a moment, then went back to her pot and stirred again. It would take a moment for everything to transfer over.

A while later, the door to the kitchen opened. “Good morning you two~” Guizhong immediately called out in a cheery sing-song, standing by the stove still.

“Good morning,” Lian said with a smile.  “I hope we didn’t make so much noise that we woke you up?”

“Good morning,” Zhongli replied, Childe echoing it next to him. “No, no. We woke up by ourselves.”

“Hey, can we go explore the harbor today? Pretty please? I used my dumbbell to give Lian all my knowledge about Liyue that I collected. We can speak fluent modern liyuen now! So please?” Guizhong asked, looking at him with puppy eyes.

Zhongli blinked at her “Wait, you did what?”

“As you know – or would know, if you actually managed to open it, I can use my dumbbell to transfer any knowledge I want. I spent some time this morning giving it all the knowledge I collected from you and Childe, as well as everything I read. Then gave it to Lian, so she has the same level of knowledge now, without having to learn it all herself. Of course, we’ll need to learn a lot more still but I feel like we should be far enough to be able to visit the harbor without causing you trouble. Especially if you’re with us!”

“Katya and I will need to check in at the Northland Bank anyways. See if the summons has arrived already. You could go and explore the harbor a bit with them.” Childe said next to him. Guizhong took note of the red eyeliner around his blue eyes. He looked good with it, just like the last time he wore it. She was sure Zhongli was pleased that he wanted to wear it again.

“And then you two will catch up with us when you’re done?” The god asked, looking at the younger man.

He looked a little surprised, but then smiled. “If you want to and we’re not disturbing?”

“I told you. Never.” Zhongli said firmly, nudging their shoulders together. Oh by Celestia, these two.

“Then I’d like that. And by now the whole harbor probably knows you’re an adeptus.” Childe hummed thoughtfully.

“Huh? Didn’t you say nobody knows who you are?” Guizhong asked carefully.

Zhongli reached for Childe’s wrist, carefully tugging him towards the counter. They both sat in – well, their spots? Considering they had sat on the same chairs those past few days. Always so close together too, she’d be surprised if their legs weren’t touching.

“Nobody did know who I was. They still don’t know who exactly I am. I only told my employer yesterday, that I am in fact an adeptus and explained – although very loosely – the premise on why you and mama are here. And since I know that this girl loves gossip, I know the majority of the harbor will know I’m an adeptus by today. Which is exactly what I wanted, so you two will be able to walk around more easily. Mama won’t need to hide her horns, and you won’t need to hide the fact you’re a goddess either. Just be careful not to say things that will give away my identity and make sure to call me Zhongli.”

“Of course,” his mother said, smiling. Then she bent over the counter a little towards Childe, who sat across from her. “Slept well despite everything?”

“Could have been worse,” The ginger replied quietly. “But it wasn’t because of yesterday. I don’t sleep too well most of the time.”

“After everything you went through, I’m surprised you sleep at all, my dear,” she said, reaching over to brush his bangs out of his eyes. “It’ll be alright, I’m sure. You go check up on your job, and then we’ll all have fun in the harbor together. Get your mind off all these awful things.”

The boy nodded and smiled. It was cute to see how Lian very clearly had already practically adopted him. Package deal of an adopted son and hopefully future son in law. She’d only known Lian for a few hours, but it was clear that she was a wonderful person.

And even if Zhongli insisted he wasn’t at all like a qilin, his mother was the living proof that it wasn’t true. He was just as kind and caring as her, the softness he’d have in his golden gaze the same as in her hazel one.

Zhongli’s hand was brushing over the other man’s forearm, making her want to scream. How did these two idiots not understand that they both were head over heels in love with each other? It was clear as day! And she was sure that it wasn’t even just a little crush on the ginger’s side. No, the way he looked up at the god, it was obvious that it was the same kind of possessive, all encompassing love and adoration that the dragon held for him.

She really wanted to lock them in a room together. But the problem was, seeing as this was the dragon’s realm, it would be impossible. These locks didn’t follow the same rules normal locks did. Zhongli would just have to silently command the door to open, and it would.

In a way, she wanted to give them time to slowly figure things out. But she was scared, with how oblivious they were being, they had the potential to keep pining for a few centuries. Which she wouldn’t be able to tolerate, she had her limits. And she wasn’t the most patient person to start with, when it came to things that excited her.

And seeing the man who was like a brother for her in love was one of these things. Back in Guili assembly, she had always wished she’d be present when he found his one. Because she had been curious what love would make out of him. Cold, stoic Morax, coming home covered in blood on a daily basis. It had taken him a while to warm up to her, but when he did, they became very close.

Once she knew him better, she learnt of a different side of him. The warmer, gentler side. The side that revealed his reasons for participating in the archon war in the first place. After all the rumors around him, she’d assumed it was the battles that excited him and made him join.

But then she learned the truth, how his father died protecting the people and how he had sworn himself he wouldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain. How he swore himself he wouldn’t let a tyrant rule these lands, even if it meant he had to claw his way to the top and be the last god standing on blood drenched earth.

Even then, just a teenager, he already cared more about others than himself. Even if he never really seemed to understand. Sure, battle was a thrill and for a while, he became almost addicted to it. To the adrenaline rushing through him, and the feeling of the raw power he had both been gifted by Celestia and crafted for himself with rigorous training.

Ever since he warmed up to her, she always wondered what he would be like when he found his one. She could see it now, the way he doted on the ginger. The way he’d keep reaching out for him, soft and tender touches. He didn’t seem to hold back when she was present, unbothered about her seeing him giving the love of his life open affection. Would he be the same with the general public, once they finally got together? Happily holding Childe’s hand while walking around in the harbor, no care for who would see?

Back in Guili, she often wondered what that person would be like, capturing her dear friends heart. Now she understood that Childe was exactly what Zhongli needed. A man who was a skilled fighter of his own, who could stand by his side with his own strength. But also someone with a heart of gold, willing and capable to love beyond what seemed to be normal for humans. Someone who was able to accept every part of Zhongli for what it was. Who was able to relate to some of his experiences.

She really wanted them to finally get together. They deserved this happiness. Both of them had struggled so much in the past and struggled so much with themselves. And with how much they seemed to thrive when they spent time together, she was sure it’d be only enhanced if they would be able to express their true feelings. Share truly loving moments with each other, without disguising it as friendly care.

Maybe she really should give them some more time. And once she lost her patience, she could still sit Childe down and make clear that he had to confess. That she wouldn’t watch him look at Zhongli the way he did for much longer. Else she would tell him.

But first, they had other problems, she supposed. First they had to make sure that Childe would be safe and sound, and that if he got exiled, that he would settle into his new life. Forcing a confession now wouldn’t be helpful. And it wasn’t like Zhongli would act any differently, seeing as he was already prepared to level Snezhnaya in case the cryo archon dared to even suggest harm to the ginger.

The door opened again, Katya stepping in carefully. “Oh. I’m sorry, it seems I slept in a little bit. Good morning everyone.”

Everyone echoed her greeting, with Childe adding a gentle “Don’t worry about it, we’re not in a hurry.

While Guizhong finished up her congee, the others updated Katya on their plans for the day, asking her if she’d like to join in as well. The goddess couldn’t help but smile, seeing how they were almost becoming like a little family. Caring for each other, helping each other, supporting each other.

Even if they were all such different people from different backgrounds. But somehow, fate had brought them all together. There was something special about such fated encounters, and she was thankful for it. Thankful for being alive and getting to experience this bliss.

She carefully served up the congee. “I’m sorry it’s congee again, but I haven’t had the chance to read any cookbooks yet. I’ll get around to it, I promise,” she sad with an apologetic laugh.

“Don’t worry about it, congee is more than fine,” Zhongli said, one hand suspiciously under the table. Just as suspiciously, Childe’s hand on Zhongli’s side was under the table too. They’d barely peeled themselves out of bed and were already holding hands again. Those dense idiots. Zhongli noticed her looking at their arms disappearing under the table, and a slight flush appeared on his cheeks.

Guizhong sat down next to Katya, everyone filling their bowls and thanking her for making breakfast. “I’m so glad you agreed to let us see the harbor today. I’m so excited already!”

“I’m sure you will like it when you see it. Liyue harbor is beautiful. If everyone feels well enough to stay until the night market opens, I’m sure you’d love that.” Childe said with a smile.

“Oh, a night market?” Guizhong felt even more excited now. This sounded amazing.

Childe nodded. “It’s beautiful. The stalls are lit with lanterns, everything is cast in this cozy half-dark. The food stalls have delicious snacks and meals. It’s quite the sight. Zhongli took me there for the first time when it was only my second day in Liyue. We’d just met the evening prior, when our ship arrived.”

“Aww, how sweet of him. I’m sure that was very special for you.” Guizhong said softly.

“It was, yes. I think that was the beginning of the end,” the ginger chuckled. “that’s when I started to understand how beautiful this land is, and how different it is from my home. I… I guess I tried to still do my job well, but I couldn’t help but think about staying here.”

“You feel at home here,” Lian said, not really a question, more a statement.

The snezhnayan nodded. “I do. There’s just something… warm about Liyue. That makes me feel comfortable and happy here. It’s hard not to feel at home here.”

Lian smiled, nodding. “Sometimes you just find a place where your heart is at peace. Maybe that’s what Liyue is for you.”

Childe looked at her for a moment, considering. Then he hummed in approval, completely unaware of Zhongli’s loving gaze on him.

Guizhong hoped this would truly be the place that their hearts would find peace in each other.

Chapter Text

„Zhongli? I thought I told you not to come into wo- Oh? Who is this, possible clients? Wangsheng funeral parlor currently offers a wonderful deal: If you buy two burials, the second one is 20% off!” Hu Tao announced cheerfully, grinning widely.

“Director Hu, have we not discussed that such discounts are inappropriate?” The ferrylady asked from the side, thumbing through some papers.

“Oh hush, you sound like Zhongli,” the young girl replied. “You only think so until you have to foot the bill for burying several family members close to each other!”

Zhongli shook his head, sighing. “We are not in need of any burials, thank you. As I mentioned before, I have visitors. I am giving them a tour of the harbor today, and I thought I would briefly show them where I work. This is my mother, and my dear friend Guizhong.”

“Oooh! So nice to meet you two, I’m the 77^th director of the Wangsheng funeral parlor, Hu Tao! So you’re his mother! A qilin no less, like Ganyu!”

“She is a relative on my mother’s side, I believe. Wasn’t your brother named Bolin? I think she once mentioned being his daughter.” Zhongli hummed thoughtfully.

“Oh? So there are some other qilin alive after all, possibly a niece even? How nice, I hope I’ll be able to meet her some time.” Lian said with a gentle smile.

“I am sure it can be arranged, we know each other quite well. I met and got to know her sometime during the archon war. She works as a secretary for the Qixing, so she is quite busy, but I’m sure she wouldn’t turn down an invitation.”

“What, you’ve known her that long? Wait, you lived through the archon war – Zhongli, did you know Rex Lapis?” Hu Tao looked at him curiously, an excited grin on her face.

“Who doesn’t know him, director.” He answered plainly.

“Noo, I mean did you really actually know him? Talk to him?” She asked, shaking her head.

“Only briefly,” he tried to evade. Probably the better choice of answer than trying to deny it, seeing as most adepti would know Rex Lapis one way or another.

The girl looked a little upset, making a pouting face. “And here I was, hoping you would have exciting stories to tell about him.”

“My apologies.” Zhongli said, shrugging.

Next to him, Guizhong was chuckling. “I knew him quite well. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the guili assembly?”

“Wait – you are that Guizhong? The goddess who lead the guili assembly together with Rex Lapis?” The girl’s eyes sparkled in interest.

The goddess grinned. “The very one. I didn’t think there were still people that know about me.”

“My grandfather used to tell me stories about the gods that died in the archon war. As a reminder, that not even gods are completely immortal, and sooner or later, death comes for everyone. And he said that some of our ancestors belonged to your people before you and Rex Lapis joined together in the guili assembly.“

“Oooh, really? We definitely have to chat sometime, what do you say?” Guizhong asked, looking hopeful.

Hu Tao grinned and nodded. “Definitely! I’m here most of the time, so just drop by whenever you like!”

“Perfect, will do!” The goddess beamed, obviously happy about possibly making a new friend.  

It didn’t surprise Zhongli the slightest bit that these two would get along. After all, both of them loved mischief. And he was sure by the end of next week, the whole harbor would know about every embarrassing story about him that Guizhong – Oh Celestia, he had to talk to her before she started to become friends with Hu Tao. He might have faked his death, but he still did care a little bit about Rex Lapis’ reputation. He was Rex Lapis, after all.

His mother was looking at him with an amused smile. “Your employer certainly is a lively young girl,” she said quietly.

“She is. I cannot deal with that child sometimes,” he said, not being able to hold back a hint of fondness in his voice. Hu Tao had good chances of bringing him to the brink of reverting to his young and feral days, with how much she could get on his nerves. But usually endearingly so, and she had always accepted him as who he was. Other employers might not have been so lenient with him. He could appreciate that.

And who better as the boss of a god incognito than an eccentric teenager? Next to Hu Taos antics, he almost seemed normal. Most of the time, at least. She was still excitedly chatting with Guizhong, clearly two birds of a feather those two.

The door opened and a young man came in, looking around a bit. The ferrylady quickly welcomed him and started to talk to him about his wishes. “Director, I’m sorry for interrupting, but we have a client here who would like to speak to you,” she called over.

“Aiya, sorry, work calls. As I said, drop by whenever you like,” Hu Tao said. “It was nice to meet you two. Take care of Zhongli, will you? He acts too grandfatherly for his age,” she added teasingly, then waved and turned to welcome the client with a promise of a discount on a second funeral.

Zhongli led them to look through the other rooms of the parlour, as well as his office, then they bid goodbye to the ferrylady.

He showed them around a few of the shops on Feyun slope, they didn’t get far before he could hear Ajax’ familiar footsteps down the stairs from Northland bank. Zhongli turned around, seeing him take the last few steps, Katya beside him.

Ajax looked over to him, their gazes meeting. Immediately, the younger man perked up, grinning at him from the distance. “Hey, Mr. Zhongli!” He called, a teasing edge in his voice. “I heard there’s two more spots open for your grand tour, we’ll join in.”

The god shook his head with a fond chuckle, already feeling much better now that the fatuus was back with him. “And here I was thinking you’d already reserved those two spots,” he said, playing along.

The snezhnayan man came to stand by his side, nudging him with his elbow a little. “Good, I would have hated for those to go to someone else.”

“As if. Did things go well? Any news?” He asked, trying to be discreet.

“None. But soon, I’m sure. Probably only a matter of days. They would take care of this fast, gather information as much as they need and then move forwards with it,” Ajax replied, matching his choice of words.

“Let me know as soon as you know more, yes?”

“I will, I promise. I don’t want a dragon to come and chase me down,” the ginger said with a soft laugh, music to Zhongli’s ears.

He hoped this would soon be over. He was prepared for Ajax to need time to adjust and for him to be sad or angry about losing his titles and home. That’s why he needed to go with him, too. Someone had to be there for him, catch him when he falls. And he would do everything in his power to comfort him and help him have a good start into his new life.

It was the least he could do for his best friend and the love of his life. And no matter how often Ajax insisted that he wasn’t at fault, he still did feel guilty. So he wanted to do what he could to make it easier on him, help him have a happy life in Liyue. Provide him with everything he could want or need, so he wouldn’t lack anything.

And if that included going to Snezhnaya by ship and pick up Ajax’s siblings for a visit, then so be it. The only time non-vision holders could use a teleport network, was when holding onto someone with a vision. That’s how he had taken Katya to guili plains with him, as a god he was close enough to a vision holder.

But that only worked for one person at a time, and only reliably within shorter distances. Taking someone with you via teleport network over a large distance was risky business. People had gotten lost forever in the flow of Irminsul. He could maybe safely take someone over to the bordering regions of his neighboring nations, but the distance between Liyue and Snezhnaya was far greater.

Two weeks by ship, one way. Three, if the weather was bad, four if it was bad enough to warrant taking a break somewhere in between. He remembered how Ajax had lamented the long travel, but at least it had only taken them ten days since it was spring and the weather had been decent.

Katya had told him that, before she had been under Ajax’ command, that she had been under Pantalone’s. She had been in Liyue for a few months already before Ajax arrived. She said that the harbingers that were able to, would use the teleport network. The ones that weren’t would still go by ship but a luxurious one. Not like the simple ships the lower ranking fatui members used to get around.

Ajax however hadn’t gone ahead by teleport network or with a luxurious ship. No, he’d taken the twenty subordinates that the Tsaritsa had given him to take to Liyue, and boarded a normal ship with them. Didn’t complain about the simple beds and food even once.

In the years since he had become one, there had always been talk between lower ranking members, that it was lucky to become one of his subordinates, but she hadn’t understood why. But ever since hearing the people that had come to Liyue with him and working for him herself now, she had understood. The harbinger by the name of Tartaglia was known to treat his subordinates more like comrades, not like lowly servants and expendable cannon fodder.

It hadn’t surprised him that much, even if he had only known Ajax for maybe three months at the time. He hadn’t struck him as someone who would mistreat people just for holding lower positions in society than him. After all, he was always very generous with his tips whenever they ate somewhere, leaving easily the same amount that the food and drinks cost as tip as well.

Of course, it had only been months later that the Snezhnayan opened up to him about his family life and that he grew up quite poor. The more he got to know him, he learnt that Ajax had risen to his rank with incredible sacrifices and hard work. And he just didn’t have it in him to treat his subordinates like they were worth nothing.

Zhongli felt a teasing tug on his ponytail, looking around to find said man looking at him with a grin, end of his ponytail still in his hand. “Lost in thought?”

“You know me,” the god sighed.

“Well, as long as you still find your way back from them,” Ajax said, unbothered. “I’ll take care that you do, don’t worry. Even if I have to return the favour and bite you,” he added with an amused laugh.

“It would only be fair, we’d be even after that,” Zhongli said, shaking his head with a fond laugh. It had only been the other day that he bit his shoulder, after all.

The ginger noticed Guizhong looking at them with a grin, his cheeks turning pink. Surely he had just become aware that the way they spoke to each other could be misinterpreted by others. He hoped he didn’t make him too uncomfortable.

“So, what are we going to look at first?” Ajax asked, clearing his throat and trying to deflect.

“I was thinking that we could walk towards the other side of the harbour, then down to the wharf and along it to the merchant’s, then back up along the ponds and up to Yujing terrace for a view over the whole harbour?” Zhongli said with a hum. He’d thought plenty about the best route. “Then they’d have the basic tour, after that we could still go and explore individual spots they would like to see. Maybe visit third-round knockout and listen to a story?”

Guizhong grinned wide, clearly excited. “Sounds fun.”

“I agree, getting a view of the harbour first to get a feeling where everything is sounds like a good idea,” his mother said.

Katya nodded too. “I’ve actually never been to a third-round knockout before, so that would be nice.”

“What is it, exactly?” His mother asked. “Sounds like something to do with fighting, not stories.”

“Ah no, it’s a tavern. The name comes from a sailor who got knocked out drunk after having three rounds of it’s specialty dish, wine fermented sweet rice balls,” Zhongli explained. “The tavern didn’t have a name prior to that incident, and afterwards it was talk of the harbour, so they adopted it as their name.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Oh my.”

“I didn’t know that,” Ajax admitted. “I always assumed they tried to sound appealing to the sailors and that it was about fighting too. Maybe a fight between drunks where someone got knocked out in the third round?”

“The sailor in question is one of Beidou’s men. Let’s just say she was not amused by the incident.” Zhongli said, chuckling.

“Oh she surely made him scrub the deck for the next month at least,” the ginger laughed. “I’ve gotten drunk with the captain once, she knows how to keep her composure even when she’s had way too much.”

“She has to, after all her relationship with lady Ningguang is an open secret. She wouldn’t want to cause her trouble, so she’s careful about her reputation. And she knows if her men get in trouble, it’ll reflect badly on both her and then lady Ningguang too. There have been enough people in the past that have had a problem with their relationship.”

“How long have they been together even? How old are they even? I don’t know anything,” Ajax said, throwing his hands up exasperatedly.

Zhongli hummed. “Hm, I believe lady Ningguang is only a little older than yourself, I think just a year or two. The captain isn’t thirty yet either, I think. But if my memory serves me right, she is a little older than Ningguang.”

“So Beidou is like, three years older than me or so,” Ajax concluded.

“Seems about right,” Zhongli agreed.

They walked over the bridge towards the little plaza in front of third-round knockout. Zhongli pointed to the tavern when they walked past it, telling the others about it. Then they walked down the stone path along the many merchants, the god pointing them all out, telling the others what each of them sold. Sometimes they’d wait and take a closer look at things, planning to come back later to see more and maybe buy some things some other time.

Then, they arrived down at the shipyard, workers busy at finishing up one of their newest ships. They walked past the lion guards, down the stairs to the wharf. Young children were running around and playing, too young for school yet. A few sailors were busy loading supplies onto their ships, some for the crew, others as deliveries for foreign nations.

Here too, they visited the merchants, looking at the various things on display. He could see Ajax look at something, then talk to the merchant quietly. A sum of mora was exchanged, the ginger receiving a small, wrapped item, putting it away in the pocket of his jacket.

Once they had seen enough, they walked back up the stairs, then turning to walk through the wooden arch, past Ms. Yu and up the narrow stone stairs. Through the alley until they were at the side of third-round knockout, past the toy selling Mrs. Shan. They kept going down the wooden walkway, down to the other side of the wharf, where even more merchants waited for them.

Zhongli watched amusedly as Guizhong and his mother gushed about some jewelry, marveling at the beautiful materials and the filigree work. He wondered silently if maybe he should start making jewelry himself again. He used to work as a goldsmith a long time ago and had fairly enjoyed it.

He had liked working with metals and stones, and it working with stones was something he was naturally good at with his geo element. Easily able to tell apart the quality of stones and of course being able to manipulate stones differently than a normal human would.

“They’re having a lot of fun. Even Katya, I rarely see her this excited,” Ajax said gently, coming up to him.

“You look like you do, too,” Zhongli replied with a smile. He hoped he was right.

“Oh for sure. It’s nice, spending time with a group like this. I never had many friends, so it’s a welcome change.”

“Don’t worry, whatever happens, you won’t be lonely anymore.” The god assured.

The younger man hummed, a smile curled on his lips. “It seems so, yes. Never thought I’d ever have people that seem to care about me again. And here I am, with you. Even your mother and your best friend care about me. And Katya as well.”

“Of course we do. And nothing will change that.” Zhongli said firmly. “Found something you like earlier?”

“Ah, of course you saw that,” Ajax laughed, brushing his messy bangs out of his eyes. “I’ll show you later. I’m curious what you’ll say about it.”

“Oh? Something you’d like my opinion on?”

The ginger chuckled. “Something like that, yes. Tea and talking again in the evening? If… you know, you still don’t mind me staying over.”

Zhongli reminded himself not to use the other’s real name, having gotten so used to the privilege. “Childe, you can ask me that every single day until the day I take my last breath. The answer will always be the same: No, I don’t mind you staying over, I enjoy your company.”

He couldn’t tell him that if he had his way, Ajax would be by his side constantly until the day he took his last breath.

Chapter Text

„Today I will tell a tale of friendship and the loss thereof. The story of Rex Lapis and the lord of vishaps, Azhdaha,” Tian said, moving his fan around to illustrate his words.

He could see Zhongli wince just slightly next to him, sighing softly.

“Is this one of the true ones?” Ajax whispered under his breath, bending over close to the other’s ear. They were sitting right next to each other at the part of the table that was further away from Tian, while the three women sat at the front and sides, turned around to observe the storyteller.

The god nodded. “I was hoping it’d be the tale of how Beidou defeated Haishan today,” he admitted quietly. “It’s not a heroic tale. It’s sad, nothing else. At least it isn’t one of the stories that has been heavily embellished over time.”

Ajax held his teacup in his hands, warming them on it. He moved his hand, laying it onto Zhongli’s arm. He looked at the hand, then gave him a warm smile that made the butterflies in his stomach act up.

“… Rex Lapis walked through Nantianmen, hearing a voice from deep underground. I want to see the surface, the voice pleaded. So the lord of geo dug his hands into the earth and pulled the creature out, finding the earth dragon Azhdaha. As earth dragon, Azhdaha was blind. But his benevolence, Rex Lapis, bestowed him sight with a touch of his golden hands..”

“Why gold? Last time I checked they were black,” Ajax murmured.

Zhongli chuckled. “They glow when I use my geo powers. Well, past a certain point. Some minimal things do not affect it, that’s why you haven’t seen it yet.”

“That sounds like you’re going to show me sometime,” the ginger whispered with a teasing grin.

“If you want to see, I will,” the other man replied easily, completely unbothered.

“I’d like to. Maybe next time when we get a chance to spar?”

“Of course. I’d just prefer to wait a few more days, you’ve strained your shoulder a bit these days.” Zhongli said softly.

Ajax huffed, but smiled fondly. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“I know, but I’d still prefer to err on the side of caution. Especially with our trip to Snezhnaya soon. It’d give me some peace of mind to know you’re in good physical condition. Once we’re back in Liyue, we can spar all you want. Well, in moderation, I don’t want you to damage your body further.”

The others concern made him feel so warm, he couldn’t even try to argue about it. How could he, when Zhongli looked at him like this, so caring and gentle? When anything he did always seemed to be for Ajax’ benefit?

“Fine, we’ll wait. You have a point,” he whispered, lifting his cup to take a sip.

The god’s lips twitched into a smile. “Thank you.”

Ajax adjusted his chair a little, scooting slightly closer to Zhongli. Carefully, he leaned against the others shoulder a little, hoping he wouldn’t mind. Then again, how he knew Zhongli, he surely didn’t.

Tian moved his fan around, gently swaying. “For years, Azhdaha and Rex Lapis were close friends. The earth dragon loved humans, taking a special liking to blacksmiths. The humans also liked the gentle dragon, bringing him gifts and offerings. But as the years passed, Azhdaha’s memories started to undergo erosion, slowly fading away. In the process, the once kind dragon became angry and violent…”

Zhongli moved his arm, Ajax pulled his hand away from where it had rested on it, not wanting to restrict him. But before he could fully pull it away, he could feel the gods fingers slotting between his own, then moving and resting their intertwined hands on his thigh.

The other man looked over at him, a little questioning. Was he asking if this was alright? Ajax smiled softly, got a little more comfortable in his chair and squeezed his hand a little. The back of his hand laid on Zhongli’s thigh, the gods hand on top of his own. He could feel the other’s thumb brushing over his own, making him shiver slightly.

“When Azhdaha started to attack humans aimlessly, he also broke the contract he had made with Rex Lapis. So the geo archon had no choice but to subdue the earth dragon. They battled each other for days, possibly even weeks, in the chasm. Their ongoing fighting and their clashing of their elemental energies resulted in the creation of an obscure ore, that was given the name Dragonfall. A mysterious material of legend, with powerful properties…”

“You had to battle your friend like that?”

“I had to. He was a danger to humanity, and our contract was built on him not endangering them.” Zhongli whispered, voice heavy. “That’s what I hated about those times. And about living this long. Losing almost everyone I ever cared about.” Zhongli whispered, voice heavy. “That’s why I can’t bear to lose you, too.”

Ajax swallowed heavily, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “I won’t go anywhere. We’ll go to Snezhnaya, get this over with, and then come back to Liyue. You’ll teach me more liyuen cooking, I’ll learn the language until I’m fluent, we’ll see all the festivals and all the things together. One day, you’ll probably know every single stupid story of my childhood.”

“I’d like that. In turn, one day, you’ll probably know every stupid story of my life too. Though I assume that’s going to take longer than the other way around,” the god murmured, corner of his mouth twitching into a smile.

“Still, I’d like that too. I’m sure there’s great stories, with how long you’ve lived. I often think how strange it must be sometimes, being that old. Having seen so many things. Even just how everything changes around you.”

“Mhm. It is. One day, you will understand yourself.” Zhongli said, squeezing his hand back.

“Imagine, having me around several thousand years. I’ll be the biggest menace,” Ajax chuckled.

“I highly doubt that. I’m quite looking forward to it, seeing where life will take you. Who knows, in a few years I might be the weird bonus uncle of your kids. Ah, but then I’m probably too scary for children, so you might not want me around them. Which will be fine, of course, I won’t be mad about that.”

Ajax grimaced. Even the thought of loving anyone but Zhongli felt awful and wrong. How could he ever fall out of love with this man? Where would he ever find someone who would make him feel like this? Someone who cared for him and supported him, even after everything he did and was?

“I don’t think I’ll have children. I’d have to find someone who can look past all that I am first. And what’s the point. They would just all die. I already know I’ll have to watch my whole family grow old and die eventually, it’s hard enough.”

Zhongli squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I understand,” he murmured. “It’s hard watching those around you die. And I don’t want to imagine how painful it is to watch your children die.”

“You wouldn’t have that problem, wouldn’t you? Half adepti are still pretty immortal, right?” Ajax whispered. At least that was what he heard, that half adepti children inherited the longevity of their adeptus parent.

The god nodded. “Indeed, half adepti may age differently than full adepti, but they still are immortal if they aren’t killed.”

“Must be nice,” the ginger hummed.

“Probably.”

“…And so Rex Lapis sealed Azhdaha deep under Nantianmen, close to where he once dug him out of the ground and befriended him. The legends say that a large tree, called The Dragon-Queller, guards the entrance to the cave where the lord of the vishaps is sealed to this day. Some say, that if you walk through Nantianmen, you can hear and feel the rumble of his wrath to this day…”

Tian bowed, thanking the audience for their attention and walked off the small stage. Ajax took the last sip of his tea, sighing contently. He had missed a good chunk of the story, which wasn’t a problem. He had the luxury of knowing the protagonist after all. And he was sure that if he were to ask Zhongli, he would tell him the story himself.

The women turned back around to them, all of them looking thrilled. “What an interesting story,” Lian said softly. “Is it based on true events or is it just made-up?”

Zhongli shook his head. “It’s true. I appreciate Tian’s way of storytelling, he usually tries to keep everything as close to factual as he can. Of course, some stories still have become heavily embellished over time.”

“How sad. Azhdaha must feel sad deep down, too.” Katya said quietly, finishing her tea.

“He does, but the majority of his consciousness, of who he once was, has eroded. Most of him is just angry now,” the god replied. “Well, let’s speak about more joyful things. Would you like to go see the night market still or are you tired and want to go back?”

Lian sighed. “I hate to admit it, but I’m starting to get quite sleepy. It’s been a wonderful, eventful day. And lots of walking involved. But I can go back alone if you would rather go through the night market.”

“I’m too tired as well. I’m not used to walking around that much anymore. We can still see it some other time, right?” Guizhong admitted.

“Of course. Before you know it, you will be used to walking around on your own,” Zhongli assured her.

“Then let’s head back and get some rest,” Ajax said, feeling Zhongli’s hand squeeze his again.

Once they got back, they all bid each other goodnight. Zhongli quickly disappeared to the kitchen while Ajax walked to the bedroom by himself. In a way it was strange how at home he felt here, more so than in his own apartment.

The other man came in, carrying the tray and put it on the bed. As every evening, he picked out two sleeping robes and they got dressed quietly. Ajax carefully took out the little wrapped parcel from his jacket pocket.

He frequently bought gifts for Zhongli, but most of the times it was things that the adeptus looked at and then he would buy them for him. He never really picked out something for him before. Which made him feel nervous. What if he picked wrong? What if he didn’t like it at all?

“Ah, is this the item you wanted me to take a look at?” Zhongli asked, walking over to him.

“Uhm, well. Not really take a look at. It’s actually… a gift. For you. But if you don’t like it, it’s fine!” He said quickly, holding out his hand to the other.

He looked surprised, eyes going big and eyebrows rising slightly. “For me? Thank you very much.”

Very carefully, he unwrapped the little rectangular box. Equally carefully, he opened it, a soft gasp escaping him. “Oh.”

“A-As I said, if you don’t like it, it’s fine. I understand if it’s not your style. Or… or if the one you’re wearing has special significance to you, is from someone special or so. You don’t have to wear it, I won’t be mad. It just reminded me of you, so I impulsively bought it.” The ginger explained hurriedly.

When he saw it, he just couldn’t help himself. The earring was exquisitely crafted, a small golden hook to put in your ear, followed by a small, shimmering black pearl that would sit just below the earlobe. Then under it was a slightly larger one, followed by another slightly larger one than that.

Under the third pearl sat a long feather. The coloration of it starting with almost a pastel yellow, turning golden yellow, then into a rich orange and the lowest part was as red as Zhongli’s eyeliner. The feather had been treated with gold leaf, tiny specks of gold dusted over it.

He thought it was beautiful, and very fitting for Zhongli. But now, actually handing it over, he wasn’t sure anymore. Zhongli had a much more refined taste than he had, after all. And he didn’t know where his earring was from. Maybe it had been a gift from a loved one. Maybe even his one. He didn’t want to offend him with this gift.

Zhongli took the earring out of the box, cradling it in the palm of it’s hand. “It’s beautiful,” he breathed, looking at it closely. He moved his hand around a little, watching the pearl shimmer and the specks of gold leaf sparkle, catching the light.

He reached up with his free hand, a bit clumsily trying to take his earring out with one hand. “Shall I help?” Ajax asked, watching him struggle.

“I’d appreciate it,” the god admitted. “It’s hard with one hand.”

The snezhnayan stepped closer, brushing Zhongli’s hair to the side. Very carefully, he took out the earring. Then he handed it to the other, taking the new earring from him. Equally carefully, he put it in, making sure it sat right and comfortably and that it didn’t get caught on his hair.

“How do I look?” Zhongli asked, when he stepped away again, earring safely in place.

“Just like I imagined you to look with it. It suits you really well, I think.” Which was an absolute understatement. He looked breathtakingly beautiful, as always. But seeing him wear this earring, a gift from him, made him feel warm all over. It made him feel almost possessive, knowing Zhongli was wearing it and liked it.

“Thank you so much.” He said, smiling at him softly.

Ajax watched the other man walk over to the vanity, turning his head around to observe the earring and how he looked with it. “It’s amazing. What an exquisite piece. You really have an eye for beautiful things.”

If that wasn’t true. Considering he fell in love at first sight with the most beautiful man in at least Liyue, more likely the whole of Teyvat. “I’m glad you liked it. I saw it and I just felt like it would be perfect for you. And it really is.”

“It is much nicer than my old one. I made that one a long time ago, when I was still practicing. I somehow never even thought about getting or making a new one.” Zhongli admitted, laughing softly. “Sometimes simple things like that seem to slip my mind.”

“You made that yourself?” Ajax asked, surprised.

Zhongli hummed, still watching the earring glimmer in the mirror, completely transfixed. “I did, yes. One time while I went incognito, I became a goldsmith’s apprentice. Then, another time after that, I worked as a proper goldsmith for a little while. I quite enjoyed it. This earring was one of the pieces I made as an apprentice.”

“That’s so interesting. I read that you would frequently go incognito and work simple jobs…”

“Mhm, that is true. As I probably mentioned before, it was important for me to understand people from all walks of life, to better lead my people. So I’ve tried many different professions, even the seemingly simplest ones. It… gave me a different kind of appreciation for people working these jobs,” the god said.

Ajax nodded. “I noticed, I think. The way you treat even the simplest people. One would think someone like you would see themselves as so much above them. But you don’t. You treat everyone with respect and seem to hold even the simplest jobs and lives in high regard.”

Zhongli turned around to him, looking a little surprised. “I guess that is true. Maybe overcompensating for my past.  But I just feel like every single one of them does their part in keeping the nation running. From my perspective, the farmers and fishermen that provide us with food are just as important as the weavers and tailors, the miners and smiths. And what an archon would I have been, not honoring the contributions of my people? There’s only so much I could influence, the true work was – still is – on their shoulders.”

“I think that’s a honorable viewpoint. Certainly not every archon sees it like this. I cannot imagine her majesty thinking like this. Maybe once upon a time, before she changed. But certainly not now. She may say that her plans are to bring a great future to Snezhnaya, but it’s a future where only the elite will prosper. The simple people won’t have any better lives, I think.” Ajax admitted.

He used to think that everything would be better once the Tsaritsa succeeded in her plans. But he started to understand that she saw the poor people only as expendable pawns. She didn’t care if the other harbingers treated their subordinates worse than livestock. If they were too harsh on them and a few died, she would just give them new ones.

“When I became an archon, it was my goal to create a nation built on prosperity. Of course, there is a difference in wealth between people. But I wished for nobody to be so poor, they wouldn’t be able to eat. Or so poor, they would have to give their children away.” Zhongli said, standing up from the small stool by the vanity.

“You certainly achieved that. The way even the poorer people in Liyue live is what someone’s live would be like in the middle class in Snezhnaya. I grew up in the lower class, I know what it’s like not to eat for a day to stretch the things in our pantry just a little bit longer. Or to eat something like soup made from flour and milk for several days because those were the only things we still had and we couldn’t afford to go to the market yet.”

“It’s a hard life in Snezhnaya when you don’t belong to the upper classes, right?” the god asked carefully.

“It is. And I can never forget that. It’s why I get angry at the other harbingers for how they treat their subordinates.” The ginger admitted. “They see them as worthless. But I used to be like them, how can I see them as worthless? All that separates me from them, is that I fell into the abyss and then that Pulcinella and her majesty saw my potential. I may be Tartaglia, eleventh harbinger of the fatui and vanguard of her majesty. But deep inside, I’m still Ajax Ivanov of Morepesok.”

Zhongli smiled slightly. “Katya once mentioned it to me, when we didn’t know each other that well yet. That you’re held in high regards by your subordinates for how you treat them.”

“Ah, that. Yeah, I guess they’re quite happy. I feel like their morale is always better than the other harbinger’s subordinates too, so it seems to pay back that I treat them like comrades. I mean you know I enjoy spending money and luxurious things. But I don’t need them, I can just as easily enjoy simply eating some cheese and bread or sleep on the floor. So I don’t feel comfortable travelling in luxury while my subordinates get simple rations and quarters.”

“They seem to very much appreciate it, yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if we got several people asking to stay in Liyue and get a permanent resident permit if you lose your harbinger title.” Zhongli hummed, brushing Ajax’ bangs out of his eyes.

“What, you think some of them will quit the fatui?” Ajax asked with a soft laugh.

“Maybe? If working for the other harbingers is that terrible. I talk from experience when I say that if you are a good and reliable leader, and your people respect you, they won’t leave your side even in dangerous territory.” Zhongli said simply. “My people fought by my side because they trusted me and my judgement. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of your subordinates would choose leaving the fatui over working under someone who doesn’t see them as anything but expendable lowlifes.”

Ajax looked up at the god for a moment, finding no lies in the golden eyes. He really was convinced of what he was saying. He wasn’t so sure about it, but at the same time, he guessed it made sense. Well, they would find out soon enough, wouldn’t they?

Chapter Text

„You were really close, weren‘t you?” Ajax asked, sipping his tea.

“Hm?” Zhongli asked, looking at him curiously. Him and who?

“You and Azhdaha. At least from what I heard Tian tell, it sounded like it.”

“Ah. Yes, we were. Like brothers, almost. I consider him one of the closest friends I had. But, as you know, he forgot about that bond. It’s all erased and replaced by hatred now.” Zhongli said, nodding.

The ginger regarded him for a moment, then took a shivered breath. “That… you know… Is that going to happen to you, too? That you’ll forget?”

“No, don’t worry. I am not affected by erosion like that. My own special kind of erosion is cruel in it’s own way. Being worn down by the loss of almost everyone I ever cared about, and remembering almost everything perfectly.”

“Oh. Good. I mean, not good because it’s sad for you of course. But… I was worried. It’s stupid, I guess, but I worried that one day you just suddenly wouldn’t know who I am or something like that,” Ajax said quietly, fidgeting with the sleeve of his robe.

The god shook his head softly. “No, that won’t happen, don’t worry.”

Ajax took a deep breath, looking relieved. “I’m glad. I-I’m not sure if I’d know what to do if that happens. I told you before, I don’t want to lose you. My life has been so much better since we met. Even just today, I had so much fun. Even if I already knew these places in the harbour, it was so nice to explore them with the others. Chatting, laughing, enjoying the day as a group. I was so used to always being alone or to have to keep masks on all the time, pretending to be someone else.”

“You don’t have to do that with us. We like you for who you are, we want to know the real you. I do, and I know the others see it the same way.” Zhongli replied, smiling at him. Hoping to convey just how honest he was about this. If he had his way, he would know him inside out.

“It’s so strange. In a good way, of course. I mean, as I said, I’ll probably still struggle with getting exiled, but it kinda makes it a tiny bit less scary. Guess the weirdest thing will still be to never see my family again.” The ginger admitted, looking to the side.

“That’s why I told you I’d help with that.”

“I don’t mean just my younger siblings. Of course, that’ll be the hardest. But even if we aren’t on that good terms anymore, I still love my older siblings, my parents, my grandparents… We… we live right next to each other, all of us. My grandparents right next to our house.

When my siblings were old enough to move out, typically somewhere between 22 and 25, we all worked together and built them houses next to ours too. I… I would have been the next one. We never talked about it. I never asked. I figured they might not want me to have one, right next to theirs. I digress…

Growing up I was used to having my whole family so close. It’ll be weird to not see them again. Maybe just one day getting a letter from – probably Tonia – that our grandparents and then later our parents have passed away.”

“You speak as if you think you truly will never see them again. As I said, I will help. Even if I’m taking them all here on a ship for a few weeks a few times per year.” Zhongli said firmly.

“First of all, you’re insane even offering that. That’s going to be such a drag for you, that’d be weeks and weeks spent on ships going to and fro. And secondly, you just assume they will want to visit. Which I am quite sure, they won’t want to. It’s only me. When someone gets exiled, they’re typically allowed to take their family with them, if they want to. They will not want to. And I’m just as sure that they aren’t going to want to visit me. I told you how they see me. I’m the child that got lost and went insane and then spent years in the fatui doing goddess knows what.”

Zhongli hummed, reaching over to brush the ginger’s bangs out of his eyes carefully. “Do you really not think that your relationship with your family can be mended?”

“I don’t know. I would love for things to be the way they were before I fell into the abyss, trust me. They don’t even treat me badly, it’s just more… A feeling like they’re constantly walking on eggshells around me. Trying not to set me off. And I keep thinking about what goes on in their heads, what they must think of me. How they might talk about me when I’m not around. Sometimes there’s moments where it’s almost like nothing happened. But then suddenly, it’s weird again.” Ajax groaned, clearly frustrated and overwhelmed by the situation.

“I’d love nothing more than have my old life back when it comes to my family life. At least I felt loved by them as a child. Now, I don’t know. My younger siblings, sure, they love me. For now, still. Maybe no longer once they know what my work really entailed. Once they understand their brother is nothing more than a murderer who got paid really damn well.”

“Hey,” Zhongli said, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. “Don’t put yourself down like that. You’re so much more than this little part of you. Your murder count is much lower than mine, yet people still revered me. And you’re an incredible person, you have achieved so much in such a short time. You are skilled in many different things. Sometimes I feel envious of you,” Zhongli said firmly.

The Snezhnayan looked at him like he’d grown a second head, beautiful blue eyes large with surprise. “Envious? Of me? What would you of all people feel envious of me for?”

“Because you are so, so young. Yet here you are. So capable, so knowledgeable, so skilled. You looked at every adversity and instead of succumbing to them and giving up, you just kept going and became stronger. It took me so long to be able to do the same.”

“You fought in the archon war.” Ajax huffed.

“And it was really damn hard. You know how many days I sat there and wanted to give up? But I couldn’t – I didn’t see humans as very valuable at the time, I told you. But my father had desperately fought to keep these people alive and save. He’d given his life to protect them. Worried about them until his last breath still. How could I do anything than swear to myself that I wouldn’t let his sacrifice be in vain? That I would keep up his legacy and protect these people, even when I might not have seen their worth? But many, many days I just wanted to give up. So often, I’d sit somewhere alone, thinking maybe it would be better if I just gave up and joined my parents in death.”

Ajax looked at him, his expression difficult to read. Was it worry, sadness? Disappointment, maybe because he was revealing how weak he’d truly had been at points in his life?

“Faked it until I made it, that’s what people call that nowadays, no? I kept pretending being better than I was. If the people truly understood that I wasn’t even a proper adult when I became an archon – not the wise, skilled leader they now paint me as from day one – they wouldn’t revere me the way they did all these millennia. They would see me as an embarrassment, probably. You, however, became a harbinger at almost the same age I became an archon. And she wouldn’t have made you one if you hadn’t already been no less than absolutely excellent.”

 “Are you insane?” Ajax asked, brows furrowed in confusion, seeming a bit agitated. “I wasn’t any less of a stupid barely-adult than you were at that age! You know what got me my title? That during my years in the fatui, I stopped being a person. I just kept telling myself that I’m not a person anymore, I’m an abyss monster parading as a human. Nothing more. And the only purpose I have, is to serve her majesty. Do her bidding, bring the future she desires to fruition.

For years and years I even denied myself little enjoyments because someone who isn’t a person doesn’t need joy. I don’t need delicious food, it needs to be filling to stave off hunger and it needs to be nutritious enough to keep my body functioning. I don’t need a comfortable bed, I can sleep anywhere. Those were things I thought, every single day. What I kept hammering into my conscious to forge a weapon in the shape of a person out of myself. Me, Ajax, was no longer. I just played the part for my siblings.

This isn’t something to admire, it’s sad. Nothing more, nothing less. I only behaved like a person when I spent time with people, and then it was like acting in a play. You know when this started to change, when I started to become Ajax again? When I started spending time with you. Even more so after we reconciled. Because you made me feel like a normal person, and not a monster or weapon. I found a part of myself again that I thought had been dead since I fell into the abyss. And I don’t want to go back to how it was before.”

Ajax breathed a little heavily, his hands shaking slightly, clearly worked up. He swallowed hard, his brows still furrowed. “Sorry,” the ginger said almost inaudible. “I didn’t mean to have such an outburst.”

Zhongli could feel his heart drop. He had only meant to compliment the other, express his admiration for him. Stupidly, he achieved the opposite. Made known how little he still seemed to understand him, even if he tried so hard. Had offended him even, probably. He didn’t want him to be upset or angry with him.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who has to. I-I didn’t mean to offend you.” Had he started to be too careless around the snezhnayan? Too sure that the other wouldn’t mind his choice of words or him even just voicing his thoughts, without putting enough thought into considering if something even needed to be voiced?

Would he end up driving Ajax away with this carelessness?

“Zhongli, no,” Ajax said softly, hand coming up to brush against his cheek. “You didn’t. You just seem to see me as much better than I actually am. And I guess I can’t really relate to that, because I don’t really see myself as anything positive. Any confidence I have, it’s all built on Tartaglia and Childe. Ajax isn’t confident at all, if that makes sense. It’s the mask of the vanguard. Complete calculation down to the twitch of a muscle.”

“But I don’t see Tartaglia, or Childe. I got to know Ajax. Though, I guess, you still keep your masks on a little bit with me. I’m not family or so, after all. “

“Pf, no, you do know Ajax. Though so far I’ve been able to keep it together, you haven’t yet seen my full potential for how pathetic I can be. Probably will once we’ve been to Snezhnaya. Or almost fully, at least. And trust me, that’s my biggest potential.” Ajax moved his hand, poking the corner of his mouth and started to push it upwards. “Come on, I’m trying to be funny here, don’t look at me like that! Smile!”

Zhongli couldn’t help but huff out a soft laugh at the others prodding and poking. He resisted the urge to move his head and bite his finger playfully. That would go to far, and he’d already lost control of himself and bitten him once. He didn’t want Ajax to think that this was something he needed to worry about.

“Ah, much better! You looked at me like a kicked puppy, don’t ever look at me like that again, that’s heartbreaking!”

The god sighed. “Sorry, I just didn’t want to – “

“I know. I know you meant well. And I appreciate it, I really do, even if it probably didn’t sound like it. I just can’t see it myself. Especially not how someone like you would see me like that. It’s all so small and insignificant, compared to what you did.”

Exasperatedly, Zhongli threw up a hand. “I did these things in millennia. You weren’t even born three decades ago.”

“Are you calling me a baby?” Ajax asked, teasingly.

Zhongli looked at him deadpan. “Yes, of course. That’s why I keep you around, because I’m absolutely excellent with babies, didn’t you realize?”

The other man laughed, soft and beautiful, corners of his eyes crinkling ever so slightly. “I don’t believe that you’re terrible with children. You just convinced yourself of that because you’ve never been around them, no?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I never interacted much with them. When I used to see the people frequently, they would sometimes come and ask for blessings for their children. I never quite knew what to do with those tiny, fragile beings. I usually just… put my hand on their head or their hand or something. I never held them myself, I wouldn’t trust myself to. I know harm can come to them if they are dropped or held wrong.”

“I found the great Rex Lapis’ weakness, huh? Babies. That’s how you can be defeated.” Ajax grinned, still teasing.

“I guess. When I was younger it wasn’t that bad, as a child I even thought I would one day have my own. You know how children are, making plans what life will be like when you’ll be all grown up. I thought I’d be grown up, marry my loved one in a grand ceremony, have a few children. We would live in a beautiful house, our families close by, everyone getting along with each other so whenever celebrations would be happening, it would always be everyone together.”

How nice it would be, to have this with the ginger. Live life in married bliss. He would give up all his titles to be able to have that. But it wouldn’t happen. He often wondered if Ajax was interested in someone in particular.

For a while, he had thought it might be Katya. But he wasn’t sure, fatui all seemed to be notoriously hard to predict. But if he had feelings for her, wouldn’t he want to spend time with her? Wouldn’t he want to be with her, in another guest room, and not here with him instead?

“That sounds nice. I-I guess I thought similarly. Build a house next to my family’s, marry someone, have a few children. Have you ever thought about names for them?” Ajax asked.

Zhongli hummed, thoughtful. He had never put too much thought into this, there were just a few names that he had on his mind that he liked the sound of.

“Hm. Well, my spouse’s input would be important too. But there have been a few. I like Nuo, which means ‘gracious’ or Meiying, meaning ‘beautiful flower’. For boys… Maybe Haoran, meaning ‘grand in manner’ or ‘vastness’. Kai, meaning ‘victory’. Or, of course, my parents names to honor them.”

“Those sound pretty. What do your parents names mean?” The ginger asked, looking curiously.

“My mother’s name means `lotus flower`. My father’s name was Rong, which has a couple of different meanings depending on how you write it. Common writings mean `prosperous`, `glory` or `harmonize`.”

“Oh, that’s nice. So you put a lot of thought into the meaning of names in Liyue, it seems.” Ajax leaned back, taking a sip of his tea. “In Snezhnaya, we often just pick one that we think sounds nice. Or one that’s from a relative or similar to it. Like my siblings, Tonia and Anton. They picked the names to honor my father’s father, who was named Ton.”

“The meaning of a name is seen as a blessing put upon the child. So people think hard about the name and the meaning of different writings.” Zhongli explained. “What ones did you have, that you’d like your children to be named?”

Ajax took a breath, reaching up to brush his bangs out of his face, tucking a small strand of hair behind his ear. “Hm. Anoushka, Ivana or Raina for a girl. And for a boy… Maybe Lev, Damir or Yuri. But as you said, spouse’s opinions are important too. Especially if they’d be from another nation, that would complicate things. You need a name that’s nice in both of them then, preferably not a complicated one.

And I’m all for shorter names, but plenty Snezhnayan names are very long. They’re still nice, of course, but someone not Snezhnayan might struggle with names like Vyachaslav, Wojciech or Yelizaveta. Don’t laugh at me!”

Zhongli could feel heat rise in his face, praying to Celestia that he wasn’t visibly blushing. Why did Ajax’ voice have to sound so ridiculously attractive whenever he pronounced things from his mother tongue? It sounded a little deeper, rougher, breathier. Not that his voice wasn’t always attractive, of course.

“I’m not laughing, I’m smiling! I can’t help it, I like the way you pronounce things in snezhnayan. Your voice sounds so different than when you speak common, or even liyuen. Though I’m definitely most used to you speaking common.” The god quickly explained, not wanting the other to think he was laughing at the names.

Ajax looked at him, clearly surprised by his words. “Oh? Yeah, I guess my voice sounds… rougher, probably? Because snezhnayan does sound harsher than common or liyuen. And we roll our r’s.”

“You do that in common and liyuen too, sometimes. Not as much anymore, I notice.”

“I guess it comes with the practice. I was mostly in Snezhnaya until recently, I didn’t really have abroad missions before going to Mondstadt and then to Liyue. And of course, being in Snezhnaya, I wouldn’t speak common except with foreigners. So I knew how to speak it properly, I learnt it in school after all, but nobody really corrects you with things like rolling the r’s, that’s seen as… more a minor quirk instead of mistake, I guess. They teach us more so that we can speak to others, but statistically, most of us would never leave Snezhnaya anyways.”

“Really?”

The ginger nodded, putting his cup down again. “Mhm, most Snezhnayans never see outside nations. Only the rich can afford to travel. So us poorer people normally stay there all our lives and only ever need to speak snezhnayan with each other. Very few find work that requires them to know common.”

“Huh. Meanwhile here, children learn common alongside liyuen from early childhood. With the expectation, that they will almost need it as much as liyuen. With how many travelers and merchants come here from other nations, it’s considered to be just as important to be able to communicate with them, than with fellow liyuens.”

“That’s pretty nice. Though I’m sure, liyuen schools are much nicer than Snezhnayan ones anyways. The school kids always look happy and lively, at least. I always disliked going to school, and so do my siblings. It all feels pointless back home, I guess.”

“I heard the schools are excellent. People put a lot of importance on the education being of good quality. If you ever do end up having children after all, I’m sure you wouldn’t have trouble having them go to school here.”

Chapter Text

The next morning, Ajax and Katya went off to work again. He felt strange, leaving the realm. Somehow he’d gotten so used to living there, having this group of people around him. It would be strange to go back to his own apartment again.

Sleeping alone again.

He could feel his face heating up. This morning, again, he’d woken up with his face pressed into Zhongli’s chest. The other man’s arms wrapped around his body, holding onto him. He just hoped that the god hadn’t focused on the sound of his erratic heartbeat.

It was so nice, sleeping like this. Feeling safe in the other’s arms, as if nothing could ever hurt him. With the soft, fluffy blankets and pillows, and the other’s warm body. It was truly bliss, especially the late nights that they would spend talking and drinking tea and the mornings, spent softly speaking and just enjoying closeness and careful touches.

And then, getting ready for the day. Just a few days ago, their morning routine had still happened completely separate. But now, it was slowly changing, their routine mingling. Zhongli had put the red eyeliner on him again by his request, carefully brushing the red lines on.

Then, he had sat Zhongli down, helping him brush his hair. He worked through the soft strands carefully, when the god asked him if he could style his hair for him again. Any way he felt like doing it. Who was Ajax to refuse such a request, especially when it let him play with the others hair for a while longer? And the thought of Zhongli trusting him to pick his hairstyle made him feel a little giddy.

So he thought about it for a moment, then started sectioning the hair a little. He did three braids on each side from Zhongli’s temples to the back of his head, then gathered all his hair in a high ponytail, closing it with a red silk ribbon. A perfect combination of practical and beautiful.

Of course, when the god stood up to look at himself in a mirror, he was a bit nervous. He hoped he liked the hairstyle. The way he turned and brushed his fingers along his hair with an awed expression made clear that he did. And Ajax’ heart fluttered at the way he brushed along the feather on his earring, seemingly still happy about the gift.

Later, when they ate breakfast, Lian commented on the earring. Zhongli had almost looked… proud? Pleased? When he told her it was a gift from him. She smiled and told him it was beautiful, Guizhong agreed wholeheartedly, which seemed to please the former archon even more, because there was a hint of a smile on his lips the whole time.

And when him and Katya had said their goodbyes, the adeptus had reached out and smoothed down Ajax’ collar. Then moving over to the scarf over his shoulder, untwisting it where it had turned around itself. Moments like these made his heart sing.  

“He makes you happy,” Katya stated, walking by his side to Northland Bank.

“Huh?” He asked, intelligently.

“Zhongli. I’ve noticed for a while, since you two started dating, you’ve looked much happier. I’m glad, I may not know too much about your private life, but I’ve heard a thing or two from other fatui, and it seems like you didn’t have an easy life.” She said, smiling at him.

He could feel his heart skip a beat. Dating? Them? Okay, yes, they sometimes did hold hands but it was a comfort thing. Not more. Zhongli didn’t love him. Not… like that at least. Friends loved each other, too.

“Uhm. We… we aren’t dating. We’re just friends. I-I mean I understand, it’s easy to get the wrong idea I guess. Especially seeing us physically close with each other. But it’s really… Just a comfort thing. Not a romantic thing. He couldn’t. Love me, I mean. That’s not possible for him.”

“What?! I was sure you’ve been dating for the better part of the last few months, like maybe going on half a year now… W-Wait what do you mean that’s not possible? Does he- can’t he feel love because of who he is?” She asked, looking confused.

Ajax shook his head. “He can. Mountain dragons only love once in their lives. Once they fall in love with someone, they never fall out of love. He doesn’t talk about whoever it was for him, but they probably are long dead…”

“How sad…” Katya said quietly. “He probably misses them a lot. But he seems to be so comfortable with you, maybe it comes close to what he had with that person.”

“Maybe.” His heart clenched uncomfortably. He couldn’t help but think a lot about this unknown person, wondering what they had been like. He wondered what Zhongli found attractive about them and what character traits he loved. What made him fall in love in the first place.

Had his feelings been reciprocated? Had they been in a relationship? A while ago he’d wondered what Zhongli would be like as a partner. Now, with the way he treated Ajax when they were just friends, he thought he might have gotten a glimpse. If he treated a friend like he did with Ajax, he surely would be even more caring and gentle with his loved one. Trying to make them happy and well taken care of.

Zhongli seemed to very much enjoy touching and cuddling, clearly happy that Ajax didn’t mind the physical contact either. He had a feeling that the adeptus would probably hover close to his loved one a lot, just keeping in touch with them slightly, maybe lightly keeping his hand on their back or their arm.

And he surely would enjoy lazy evenings and mornings spent cuddling in bed and talking. Similar to how they did, obviously just… different. With careful, loving touches and tender kisses. He hoped that they had loved Zhongli back. The man deserved to have learnt what it is like to be loved.

Not that Ajax knew what it was like. He hadn’t ever been in love before meeting the funeral consultant. And, well, he wouldn’t ever learn what it was like, to truly be loved back by someone. Because he was sure he would never fall out of love with this man. How could he? How could anyone ever compare?

After all, every day he spent with Zhongli only deepened his feelings for him. But he had the privilege of the adeptus treating him the way he did. Like he was something special, even if he wasn’t his loved one. So the way he was treated by him would be the closest he’d ever come to feeling loved. And that was fine, it was a lot more than he used to think he’d ever get.

When they arrived at Northland Bank, he went to his office immediately, checking up on some mission reports. It didn’t take long until there was a knock at the door.

“Yes?”

“Lord Harbinger, there is a letter from her majesty for you.” Katya looked at him, hand slightly shaking, but trying to keep up professional appearances.

“Ah, thank you. Let’s see what this is about…” He opened the letter with the opener he’d once got from Zhongli after he saw him opening letters simply by ripping them open. A beautiful thing, a steel blade with a dark stained wood handle, carved into the shape of ocean waves.

My dearest Tartaglia,

I gather you have already heard of our dear Signora’s demise in Inazuma. To honor her work and her sacrifice, we shall hold funeral rites for her. Please return to Zapolyarny Palace by tomorrow. The funeral will be by noon.

After that, I would like some of your time to have a word with you in private, to hear how things have been for you in Liyue. It has been quite some time since I have been able to speak to you directly.

I am looking forward to seeing my vanguard.

Her majesty, the Tsaritsa

“And?” Katya whispered, barely above a breath. She had closed the door behind her, hoping to keep curious ears away.

“She doesn’t mention you. She’s asking me to come back by tomorrow noon for the funeral of signora, and then wants a word with me in private.”

“You should go back to Zhongli immediately, so you can get prepared. I will make sure everything is alright here and keep in touch with the others while you’re gone.” The brunette said gently.

“Thank you. We might be back faster than you think. If she exiles me, I’ll have to leave the country within a day. So I’ll just go and say goodbye to my family and will be back then.”

She looked at him a little worried. “You won’t try to take them with you?”

“I will ask, I guess. But I don’t think they’ll want to, so it’s more a formality.” He replied, sighing softly. For a second, his mind wandered to how amazing it would be, if they’d say yes. If they wanted to join him, if he was still important enough to them. But he wasn’t. They wouldn’t come with him.

Ajax got up and walked over to his secretary. “Whatever happens, I just want you to know that I’m grateful to you. For all you did for me. You cared much more than you needed to, and I know I wasn’t an easy boss.”

She huffed softly. “Don’t talk like this is goodbye for good. It won’t be. He won’t let that happen. We’ll see each other once we’re back. Stand strong, as you always do. Make us, your subordinates who trust you and rely on you, proud.”

The woman moved forwards, surprising him by hugging him tightly. “Come back unharmed, you hear me? No crazy stunts, Childe.”

He laughed softly, hugging her back. “I promise.” He leaned over, to her ear and murmured softly. “And actually, it’s Ajax.”

“Huh?”

“My name. It’s Ajax. Seeing as probably, by tomorrow, I won’t be Tartaglia or Childe anymore. And considering we’re not just coworkers anymore, but friends.”

He let go of her, stepping back with a smile. “I didn’t use my name anymore for a long time, except for my siblings, for reasons… Maybe one day I’ll tell you everything, if you want to know. I just didn’t feel like Ajax anymore. But I think, it’s starting to come back to me. And I think it’s only right if you know my name. You can call me whatever you like, though.”

She looked at him surprised, but smiling all the same. “Thank you. I appreciate you telling me this. And I’d like to hear sometime, if you’re willing to tell.”

“I think I’d like that. Over some tea, and I make some damn good honey cake.”

“Sounds perfect. But first, we’ll get all this settled. See you soon.” She said, squeezing his shoulder.

“See you soon.”

Walking into his apartment, his anxiety started to kick in. So it really was happening. His life’s work was going to crumble to pieces. Everything he had known and everything that had been remotely “home” for all these years was going to get taken away from him.

It was daunting, even if he knew that he had people supporting him here in Liyue. Even if he knew that Zhongli was willing to do anything he could to help him, and Guizhong, Lian and Katya as well. It was stupid, wasn’t it? Shouldn’t he feel a lot better, knowing that? Why was he even anxious?

Because for years, he had prided himself to be a fatuus. Even more so when he became a harbinger. He prided himself in being his majesty’s abyss stained weapon, her loyal blade, her vanguard. He had trained hard to get there, overcome every challenge thrown at him from his superiors and other fatui members.

He had fought against them all. He was disliked when he was still a regular fatuus, because there were rumours spreading about him and his abyss influence. And people were scared of what they didn’t know. Instead of trying to get to know him, they bullied him. Tried to make him miserable, make life living hell so he would leave the fatui. But he didn’t. He rose to the top.

And then, the other harbingers didn’t really like him either. They found him strange, possibly even a liability with his abyss stain. But they couldn’t openly question her majesty’s judgement. So there were just the whispered remarks and the disgusted and disapproving looks.

Walking to his wardrobe, he took out his formal uniform, his knitted scarf, the longer gloves and his warm coat. Then he picked out a second set of clothes. Thick pants made from everfrost-proof felt, a knitted pullover and warm socks and boots. A heavy fur coat and knitted scarf and hat. A pair of sturdy boots with fur lining.

In his mortal disguise, Zhongli had about his size. But he also knew the other could change size as he pleased and that any clothing he wore, simply changed size with him. However that worked, godly magic, he assumed.

So these clothes would be fine, hopefully. Zhongli was susceptible to the cold, so he wanted to make sure he was as comfortable as possible. Even if he was going to be tucked into his scarf later. He preferred to make sure that the other was warm.

“Can I see?” Zhongli asked, reaching out for the letter in Ajax’ hand.

They were all sitting around the counter, Zhongli next to him, Lian and Guizhong on the opposite side. Lian had quickly made them some tea, Zhongli had taken out some chocolates to snack on. To calm their nerves, he had claimed.

He handed the letter over, Zhongli made a thoughtful sound and looked at it for a moment.

“And, what do you say?” Ajax asked, when the adeptus gave it back to him.

His expression was blank. “…I can’t read snezhnayan,” he deadpanned.

Guizhong was the first to start laughing, trying desperately to keep it down before giving up and howling with laughter.

Lian couldn’t help it either, her chuckle growing into proper laughter.

“Why did you want to see it, then?” Ajax pressed out, wheezing, succumbing to his own laughter.

“I thought it’s maybe written in common,” the god explained, watching them laugh.

“A letter to the snezhnayan fatui harbinger, from the snezhnayan cryo archon? Of course, makes sense it would be written in common,” Ajax said, gasping for breath. “Oh Celestia, Zhongli,” he chuckled.

“At least we got a good laugh out of the situation,” Guizhong said, wiping at her eyes with her hands after crying with laughter.

“Basically, tomorrow at noon they’ll hold a funeral for signora, and afterwards she wants to speak to me privately,” Ajax explained.

“Signora?” Guizhong asked, looking curious. “a friend of yours?”

He shook his head. “Coworker. Well, formerly. The electro archon killed her. And no, we didn’t get along at all, but I’ll have to attend as a fellow harbinger.”

“So what’s the plan now?” Zhongli asked, looking at him with a determined expression.

“Well, if you still want to come with me… I brought warm clothes for you in case. I wasn’t sure if you’d have anything that would be warm enough for Snezhnaya. You’ll transform, I hide you in my scarf and we’ll go to Zapolyarny via teleport network. Then we attend the funeral, I talk to her majesty, will probably be stripped of my rank and exiled and then we take the teleport to Morepesok so I can say goodbye to my family. So if all goes smoothly, we’ll probably be back by early afternoon.”

“That quick?” Lian looked at him worried. “You shouldn’t rush your goodbyes, who knows when you get to see your family next.”

“I doubt they’ll want to make it any longer. My younger siblings will take the longest.”

Lian made a displeased noise, shaking her head lightly. Clearly not understanding how things could be this way with his family. He gave her a lopsided smile, trying to convey that he appreciated her concern.

She reached over, brushing his bangs out of his face carefully. “Still. Do not rush your goodbyes with all of them. The situation is heartbreaking as it is. And even if you think your relationship with them might be past repair, it might not be.”

“I will try. Thank you.” He replied softly, feeling warm. He still wondered how and why she seemed to care so much about him, when she barely knew him. Had been from the start. Maybe it was in her nature as a qilin, to care so much about the people around her.

He could feel Zhongli lay his hand on his wrist, holding onto him under the table. “Thank you for bringing clothes for me. I definitely wouldn’t have had anything warm enough. I have clothes for the liyuen winter, but snezhnayan weather is a lot colder.”

“Yeah, gotta keep moving, else you freeze to death when it gets really bad.”

“T-That’s how cold it gets?” Guizhong asked, eyes wide. “That’s terrible.”

The Snezhnayan laughed. “Normal for me. Being here in Liyue for my first winter will be strange. But I’m still excited for it. Every season in Liyue is beautiful in it’s own way, I’m sure winter is no different.”

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” Zhongli said quietly, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into his wrist.

“We’ll do lots of fun things together. You won’t be lonely anymore, Childe.” The goddess said cheerfully, smiling at him.

He nodded, taking a breath. “About that… My real name is Ajax. Childe is an alias that I used while I was out on missions. So… you know, if you want to… You can call me whatever you like though.” He said a bit sheepish. It felt only right, telling Guizhong and Lian as well.

“Ajax… what a pleasant sounding name.” Lian said, humming softly. “Fits you nicely, sounding strong and gentle at the same time. Reminds me a little bit of when Rong and I picked Morax’ name. We wanted that, too. Gentle and strong.”

“Heh, so we’re close friends now, huh? Seeing as you’re trusting us with your real name,” Guizhong said teasingly, her eyes sparkling with mirth.

Ajax laughed. “Well, yeah. Plus, by tomorrow I probably won’t be a fatuus anymore. So no point in using aliases going forwards.”

He looked over to Zhongli, a little worried that he might find this sudden decision weird. But the other looked unbothered, actually quite happy even. As if he was happy that Ajax felt comfortable sharing this with the people that were so dear to him. After all, this was his mother and his oldest friend.

The god looked at him, eyes like molten gold. Just like this man, like his land and his people. Beautiful, bright and warm. Welcoming and gentle, calm rock against the storm.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly the ice around his heart had melted completely.

Chapter Text

The day went by much too fast for Zhongli’s liking. If he could just keep Ajax here, without having to go to Snezhnaya, he would. But he understood that he had to do this. And that he had to talk to his family. Maybe, just maybe, Zhongli could be of help with them.

It was clear how dearly Ajax loved his whole family and how hurt he was that there was this barrier between them. The young man very much seemed to thrive off close connections to people, even if he didn’t allow himself to have any for so long.

He hoped he would be able to see him continuing to thrive and be happy. Maybe one day, he would see that his eyes had started to light up again. Not that they were any less beautiful just because they were dull. No, their gorgeous color had burned itself into Zhongli’s mind, forever his favorite color along with coppery red. Everything about Ajax seemed to have become his favourite things.

And how he loved how he slowly but surely seemed to feel more at home in Liyue, and maybe in his realm too. Zhongli would like it very much if he decided to stay like this with him for the indefinite future. It was a glimpse of the domestic bliss he’d daydreamed about.

Even if he’d never be allowed to kiss him or tell him that he loved him, he still was able to care for him and was allowed to touch him, be close to him. This was already much better than what he ever hoped for, since he stupidly realized that they had never truly been dating.

He still felt incredibly embarrassed about it. How easy it had been for him to just explain everything. They didn’t hold hands back then because maybe Ajax wasn’t the touchy type, seeing as he used to pull his hands away whenever they brushed. They didn’t kiss, because Zhongli didn’t want to make him feel like he couldn’t refuse so initiating on his part was a no. And maybe Ajax just didn’t want to kiss him. Maybe he thought Zhongli would be bad at it. Which was pretty likely, considering he hadn’t kissed before.

And like this, it was with everything. All just explained away. They’d never explicitly said that they loved each other, but Zhongli had chalked it up to mutual understanding and shyness from both of them. Yeah, he was really good at understanding Ajax. So good, he thought they were a couple for months. Engaged even. There was an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, his heart throbbing.

He had been so stupid. Excitedly looking forward to a wedding that would never happen. It still hurt. It was a strange feeling, almost like grief. Grieving what could have been, in a different life maybe. Some people believed that there was a never ending amount of universes existing next to each other, with subtle differences. Maybe there was one where him and Ajax were in love and happy together.

Zhongli was pretty sure that he would get over it one day. His love for Ajax would never change, it probably would only grow deeper and deeper as time went on. But the hurt would fade. It had to. And he wasn’t mad or upset at the Snezhnayan. It wasn’t his fault, there wasn’t anything he did wrong. You couldn’t force someone to love you.

But he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person he would one day fall in love with. What would Ajax want in a partner? What would he find attractive? It was hard to gauge what he would go for in terms of looks. But he might want someone who would help him feel calm, take him seriously. Someone that would make him feel comfortable talking about his past, his insecurities and his worries.

Maybe he wouldn’t care if they weren’t an adept fighter. Or would that be one of his high-priority criteria? Would Ajax only want someone who could stand their ground against him, could face him head-on and give him a challenge?

Would he like cuddling a lot, exchanging gentle touches like he did with him? Or would he prefer not to be too touchy? And how would he react to his partner trying to get close in public? Maybe he would blush beautifully, but still enjoy it. Basking in the attention and care, maybe feeling a little possessive? He wondered if the Snezhnayan would initiate such touches or if he’d be too embarrassed.

The god could feel a hand brush along his bare shoulder carefully, bringing him back away from his thoughts. He hadn’t even taken off his shirt fully, still hanging in the bend of his elbows. His face felt warm with embarrassment.  “Ah, sorry. Got lost in my thoughts again. No matter how hard I try, it keeps happening.”

“Well, there surely is a lot going on in that ancient head of yours. It’s understandable that sometimes you get lost in it,” the ginger said with a sympathetic smile. “I… uhm, often just don’t know if I should leave you be or not when that happens. I don’t want to interrupt a train of thought, or you know, happy memories or something.”

Zhongli shook his head. “I appreciate it when you snap me out of it. Most of the time, it’s nothing important. I spent a lot of time overthinking even simple things. The downside of an endless life, you have all the time in the world to mentally go on and on about nothing at all.”

He shivered when he felt Ajax’ fingers brush along the geo lines on his upper arm, tracing the patterns like he’d done a few days ago. It made the god feel warm with love and affection. He loved being touched by the other man. It made him feel like he was dying from dehydration and Ajax’ touch was the purest, freshest water, soothing him and keeping him alive.

“Are you worried because of tomorrow?”

“No. Why would I, when I know that I can keep you safe? I will not let her harm even a single hair of yours.” He replied firmly, resisting the urge to close his eyes at the gentle caressing. “I’m only worried about how hard it’ll be for you. But I will be there. Doing my best to catch you when your world will crumble to pieces.”

He could hear Ajax’ breath hitch slightly. “You’re too good to me.”

“I care about you. Of course I would be there at your lowest. You’re no longer alone, you have people now that care about you and that want to see you happy.”

“It’s still so strange to me. In a good way, of course. If you would have told me that coming to Liyue would completely change my life, that I would find friends and a place where I feel comfortable… I would have laughed,” the fatuus admitted.

Zhongli wanted to hug him, hold him close and kiss him. Show him how much he loved him, make him understand how loved and wanted he truly was. But he couldn’t. It would only upset Ajax, to know that he’d secretly been in love with him this entire time. Even if his friendship and support weren’t just because of Zhongli’s romantic feelings for him.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you for some reason,” Ajax said quietly. “You’ve been keeping me sane throughout this whole mess. Knowing you will help me find my footing in this new life has made it a little less terrifying.”

“You will never lose me.” The god assured.

“Maybe one day I’ll piss you off badly enough,” he replied with a laugh.

Zhongli turned a bit, looking at him firmly. “No. I swear. As the god of contracts, I swear to you, that this will never happen. No matter what, you will always be able to come to me for help. We may have disagreements down the line, but I will always be there for you. Always, I swear. Let this promise be as solid as stone.”

Ajax looked a little flushed. How cute he looked like this, usually pale cheeks slightly pink. “Your eyes… Wait, did you just – did you make a contract with me?”

“What better way to convey how serious I am about this? I am the god of contracts. I will never go back on my word.”

“But – That’s – I didn’t even do anything! There’s nothing in this contract for you. It’s one-sided.” Ajax protested.

“And? What is a promise, but a contract between friends? Even if it’s one-sided, it’s as valid as a written contract between two merchants. And I do not need to get something out of it. This is my promise to you, that I will always be there, no matter what happens. And I mean no matter what.”

“You-! You’re unbelievable,” the redhead groaned, leaning his forehead against his shoulder for a moment. Zhongli could feel his warm breath fan over his skin.

Zhongli just chuckled softly, resisting the urge to bend down and tenderly kiss the top of his head. “So, I hope you now understand how serious I am about this.”

“I do, yeah,” the other man replied, moving back from him, then turning away from him. “Sorry, I’ve been keeping you from getting dressed.”

The god laughed quietly, finishing taking off his clothes and putting on the silken robe.

“I think I haven’t been this anxious for… probably ten years. I mean I was pretty anxious when I came and asked to talk to you. And I was quite anxious then, because I didn’t know if you even wanted to see me again, or if you even cared about me at all…” Ajax said softly, climbing onto the bed and letting himself fall into the pillows.

“Of course I did. I wanted nothing more than for things to go back to how they were, but I also wanted to give you time. And well, I was scared too. That you wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore, once you knew who I was.” Zhongli admitted, climbing next to him, pulling up the fluffy blankets over their legs. He had added one more, to account for the weather that was getting colder every day.

Ajax hummed. “I mean I was very angry. But the feeling of betrayal, of losing the one friend I had made so far, was the worst. I think, when I came to Wangsheng that day, I was most scared of you starting to laugh. Stupid human, demanding to speak to you. Silly human, believing I was ever worth anything and demanding an explanation.”

“I never thought that way. You were important to me, all this time.”

The ginger smiled, soft and beautiful. Zhongli wondered how it would feel to kiss this smile. They were so close, he would only have to bend over a little bit, press his lips against the other’s. But even if Ajax wouldn’t immediately shove him away, it would be a clumsy, terrible thing. He didn’t know much about kissing, after all.

And he didn’t want to overstep like that. It would be difficult to explain without revealing his feelings. Ajax couldn’t know. He didn’t want him to think that Zhongli had only done all this because he was in love with him. Because he didn’t. He did because they were friends, and because Ajax was precious to him. He would have done all this even if his feelings weren’t of romantic nature.

He could see the fatuus scoot a little closer to him. “Is… is this alright? Your presence always calms me down…” the ginger asked, small. Almost shy.

“Of course.” He replied, adjusting the blankets around them, pulling them up over their shoulders so they would be nice and warm.

“Thank you,” Ajax said softly, trying to stifle a yawn.

“You should sleep. Tomorrow will be an eventful day. You will need all the rest you can get.”

Ajax cuddled a little closer, placing his forehead against his chest. Carefully, the god reached out and brushed through his soft hair. Played with it a little, until he could see the others eyes flutter shut, his breath evening out soon after.

He kept going like this for a little while longer. Slowly, he bent over and selfishly placed a tender kiss on the auburn hair, lingering there for a moment and inhaling the pleasant woodsy scent. Even if Ajax would never love him, he would always love him. And he would always do his best for him.

Tomorrow would likely be one of the worst days of the snezhnayans short life, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He wished for things to go differently for Ajax’ sake, but it seemed like he already made his choice to accept whatever was going to happen tomorrow.

Of course he had thought about talking to Saleos himself. But Ajax had made clear that he didn’t want that and going against his wishes didn’t feel fair. Not after how he deceived him to get his retirement plan done the way he wanted to. He didn’t want to make him to feel bypassed, especially in an issue between him and the goddess he had sworn his loyalty to.

No, Ajax had expressed that he didn’t want him talking to his queen, and he was going to respect that as long as he could. He would only reveal himself if it was really absolutely necessary. Else he would stay hidden in his scarf and mask his presence. He owed this Ajax.

Zhongli looked down at the ginger, who looked quite peaceful in his sleep. Like this, he looked so incredibly young, even younger than the 25 years that he was old. He had beaten the odds, done the impossible. Fallen into the abyss and came back alive and stronger. From a place that even Zhongli – in his bravest, most reckless days – wouldn’t have dared to even set the tip of a toe into.

He had endured terrible pain and unspeakable terrors. And then come back, only for his family to not understand and not take him seriously. How alone he must have felt all this time. To think that he was still such a sweet, caring person, after everything he went through.

Ajax’ hand moved, lightly grabbing hold of the fabric of Zhongli’s robe, holding onto him. “Don’t you worry, I will keep you safe. I promise, my love,” he whispered, barely more than a breath.

He loved him so much, so all encompassing. In a way, it felt so strange, because he believed he was unable to love for such a long time. He had always yearned for love, for a companion, even if he never really dared to tell anyone. He was convinced he wasn’t able to feel love.

It took him a long time to realize that what he felt for his friends, his fellow adepti, and Ganyu and Xiao as well, were types of love, too. Not romantic love, but friendly, familial love. Then he met Ajax and understood, that he was able to feel romantic love after all.

But he wasn’t stupid, Zhongli knew that he wouldn’t be easy to love for someone. Who could look past all his flaws, when as an archon he was supposed to be flawless? Who would be interested to see the person behind all the masks and carefully crafted pretense? And if they were interested, who would still be able to love him after getting a glimpse of his real self?

And who would be able to, knowing all that he had done? The way he struggled with it himself? No, he wouldn’t ever know what it was like to be loved back as fiercely as he loved Ajax. But that was fine, because he long since had settled with the thought of being alone forever. Until he thought him and Ajax were together. Now he just had to re-settle into the mindset he had before that.

Which probably would take some time, but it would be fine. Maybe it would help him cope when one day, Ajax would fall in love after all. Even if he said he didn’t intend to, knowing he would outlive his partner. Things weren’t always predictable, especially not love.

The god sighed, very carefully pressing another kiss into the redheads hair. He didn’t want to see the man he loved like that, anxious and struggling. Ajax didn’t deserve any of this. But he really couldn’t do anything against it, he no longer owned a gnosis, so he wasn’t able to contact the cryo archon even if he wanted to.

Sometimes he regretted giving it up. He had acted too rushed, hadn’t thought it all through properly. Acted as foolish and impulsively as he had done in his youth. He hadn’t been like that for quite some time. Maybe he should have thought it all through more, consider the consequences of his actions and all possible scenarios.

But it was done and there was nothing that could be changed about it. He had given away his gnosis and he had to live with the consequences. Zhongli knew that he could still keep Ajax safe, even just with his abilities as a god. He was one of the most powerful gods in the history of Liyue, after all. Not many other gods had amassed as many titles as him in their time.

So he was quite confident that Saleos still saw him as a threat and someone who shouldn’t be angered. If she was smart, she wouldn’t consider harming Ajax at all. Even if she didn’t expect him to tag along, she had to be aware that they shared a close friendship and that she would be risking angering him. And even without being a god, already an angry mountain dragon would pose quite a threat.

He couldn’t be completely sure of course, but if she had at least two functioning braincells, she wouldn’t risk her own life just to punish her harbinger.

Chapter Text

When Ajax woke up in the morning, Zhongli was already awake. The ginger groaned, hiding his face in the other’s chest. “I don’t want to get up,” he mumbled, barely audible, getting muffled against the gods chest.

“I understand completely, but I’m afraid you’ll have to.” Zhongli said, ever gently.

“I know,” he groaned. “But I really wish I didn’t. Can’t I just stay here, like this, and just let the day pass? She can exile me when I’m absent and just write me a letter.”

“Think of your family.”

“It’s awkward at best whenever we try to talk.”

“Your little siblings would be sad.”

“Ugh, alright, you got me. Damn you and how well you know me,” Ajax huffed against his chest, rolling away from him and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

Zhongli chuckled behind him, as he retreated to the bathroom to get himself ready. Not that he was going to be mentally ready for all of this, but he could at least make himself physically ready. It was a weird thought, putting up the mask of Tartaglia again, when for the past while he’d only been Childe or Ajax.  Almost mechanically, he went through the motions of his morning routine.

When he was almost done, looked at himself in the mirror. His appearance hadn’t changed that much, but his heart and soul had changed a lot. Would he still be able to convincingly play the part? Hopefully, even if only for the duration of the funeral. Because talking to her majesty alone, there was no point. She would know the truth in his heart and trying to lie to her would only make matters worse.

But he still wanted to appear strong. Stronger than he felt right now. He didn’t want to crumble in front of her, didn’t want to beg. No. He wanted to walk out of the palace and still have his pride. Even if all he had prided himself on for the last ten years would be ripped away from him.

Of course, there was still the option that she wouldn’t exile him. But he found the chance of that happening to be very slim. People had been exiled for less than falling in love with a foreign nation’s archon. And he knew that if he had to choose between them, he was no longer able to choose his queen.

Zhongli had made such a difference in his life; how could he choose to go back? He didn’t want to. He wanted this life, full of warmth and friendly people. Full of laughter and gentle touches. He wished the rest of his life would be like those past days. And he would never have that in Snezhnaya.

No, going back would only mean to shroud himself in cold and darkness again. He didn’t feel remotely ready for all of this to happen now. But he knew it was the right decision. He was completely certain that it was.

He looked at his own reflection, noticing the little ways how Liyue had changed him in those almost months he’d been here. His hair had grown out a little more, not keeping up with the haircutting as much as when he was still in Snezhnaya. Being out in the sun and by the sea so often had brought out his freckles more, which wasn’t something he liked much, but it was another difference.

The biggest difference probably were his eyes. He was well aware that they looked dull and empty ever since he’d come back from the abyss. But he couldn’t help but think that they’ve started looking a bit better in the past months. Just a little livelier.

He’d gained a little bit weight and his skin was still pale, but not a sickly pale anymore. The healthy, nutritious and balanced cuisine of Liyue had done him well, combined with eating with Zhongli, who would always insist on proper portions and taking their time to enjoy the food. In Snezhnaya, he usually ate as quickly as possible, not caring too much about nutrition as long as it sated his hunger. With his self-dehumanizing mindset, he just didn’t care enough. He would just go for what was the easiest and fastest.

He had come to Liyue to find the geo archon and steal his gnosis. In the end, he’d found himself again and the geo archon stole his heart. Didn’t that sound like the possible plot of some light novel from the Yae Publishing House? Maybe he should write it down, just with different names, and pitch it to them.

Ah yes. The vanguard of the hydro archon, a man by the alias of “earl” traveled to Mondstadt to steal the gnosis of the anemo archon, only to fall madly in love with him and sacrifice his title and life’s work. Eh, maybe author wouldn’t be his next job after all.

What did he even know about love? Nothing. He’d never been in love prior to meeting Zhongli. He didn’t know what it was like, to be loved by someone. His yearnings alone wouldn’t make for convincing romance.

He sighed and washed his face, then moved to brush his hair. When he was done, he started putting on his formal uniform. The grey outfit he wore was just what he liked to wear to look a little formal, but still a little casual. His formal uniform was black and made from everfrost-resistant material. The black jacket was buttoned up with two rows of golden buttons, matching the black slacks out of the same thick material. It was quite stiff, but it did keep the cold out.

Ajax put on the gloves, grimacing at how used to the short ones he was at this point. These ones almost reached to his elbow. He decided against putting on the thick woolen scarf and the white, elegant cloak. He would put them on immediately when they were leaving.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, Zhongli sat by his vanity, painting on his eyeliner. Ajax knelt down next to him as he finished the second line.

“Oh? You want to wear it again?” The god asked with a smile.

“If it’s no bother? It does bring out my eyes a little, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” Zhongli confirmed, bending over to carefully apply the eyeliner on him.

Ajax had really started enjoying the red eyeliner. A tiny bit of his new home that he would carry with him. A tiny bit of Zhongli. Even if they’d never be in a relationship, he enjoyed wearing this little thing that was so typical for the other man. And he enjoyed the small, intimate moment between them, when Zhongli would draw the lines on him carefully.

Zhongli hummed and moved away, looking pleased. “Perfect.”

“Thank you.”

“Anything,” he replied, putting away the small container and the brushes.

“You should eat,” Lian said gently, when they sat in the kitchen just a few minutes later. Guizhong was sitting next to her, eating as well.

“If I eat, I’ll throw up. I feel sick already,” Ajax groaned. He hated feeling nervous. And he certainly didn’t feel like eating, knowing what the day would bring. It would only be getting worse from here on out.

“You should still eat a little bit; we don’t want you passing out. That would be no good, would it?” She tried again, still as gently, her hazel eyes looking at him with worry. “Congee shouldn’t make you feel any worse. Just a few spoons. Please?”

Ajax sighed in defeat. “Sometimes you remind me of my mother, how she used to be when I was still little.”

“Well, I am a mother, so that makes sense,” she said with a slight laugh. “Guess we all have our similarities.”

Ajax smiled and started to slowly eat a little bit of the Congee. Lian looked pleased, reaching over and gently patted his hand.

“Katya’s still asleep?”

“Ah, no, she left for work a little bit ago. She’ll come back later. She said she’s so nervous, she’ll feel better when she’s a bit distracted with work,” Guizhong said. “And she asked me to remind you about that promise you made her yesterday. Uh, how did she say…”

“Something about not breaking promises because else you’ll tongue freeze off?” The qilin said, eyebrows raised. “It sounded a bit concerning.”

Ajax laughed softly, shaking his head. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.” He ate another spoonful of Congee. “It’s a rhyme snezhnayan children learn. It wasn’t a pinky promise though, just a normal promise.”

Zhongli chuckled next to him. “Sounds like something befitting of Liyue, with how serious it seems to be.”

“Yeah, just that it’s not cold enough here for things like that. Hey, we might be able to make a Liyue version of it. Hmmm. The rock will smash your pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the dragon eats your tongue, so you never lie again?” Ajax asked, using the first things that came to mind.

Guizhong slapped her hand in front of her mouth, having just taken a sip of tea. It looked painful when she swallowed. “The dragon does what- “

Zhongli put his hands on his face, groaning softly, while Lian chuckled softly.

“Ahaha, just the first thing that came to my mind, I’ll work on it some more,” the ginger said, laughing sheepishly.

“You better, else Zhongli’s going to burrow into the ground in shame,” Guizhong giggled.

“That sounds like a good idea,” came muffled from next to him.

The ginger reached out and gently patted his shoulders. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that terrible…”

“I don’t eat tongues.”

“Not yet,” Guizhong piped in. “Have you ever tried them?” She asked, voice clearly teasing.

Zhongli pulled his hands from his face and gave her a pointed look, making her giggle. Ajax couldn’t resist and laughed as well at the two’s shenanigans.

“At least it made Ajax laugh,” Lian said, chuckling herself. “You’ll have to leave soon, it’s better when you were still able to laugh a little.”

Ajax looked at the clock, reminded of what was ahead of him. She was right. They’d taken the chance and slept in a little, there wasn’t a point in getting up too early and being nervous the whole time after all. “Right, we should get going.”

“Don’t worry about the dishes, we’ll handle that. You two go.” Guizhong said, standing up when Ajax stood up to collect the bowls.

“Ah, thank you. I appreciate it.”

“Take care, yeah? Whatever happens, we’re here for you.” The goddess said gently, moving over to hug him.

Surprised, the ginger hugged her back. “T-Thank you.”

She let go of him and gave him a grin and a thumbs up, then moved out of the way only for Lian to pull him into a hug as well. “What she said. And do talk with your family, yeah? Don’t forget, things are rarely truly broken. You might be in for a surprise. And even if not, even if it all really is terrible… You’ll come back here, and things will be fine. You’re stronger than you might think, and you have a good heart. Don’t forget that, my boy. Whatever happens.”

Lian stood on her tiptoes, ruffling his hair just a little bit before smoothing over it again. “Take good care of him while you’re out, Morax.”

“I will, don’t worry,” Zhongli said next to him, Lian letting go of him and moving over to hug her son goodbye as well.

Ajax picked up his cloak and scarf, where he’d deposited them in the hallway earlier, on their way out. He put the cloak over his shoulders, then wound the scarf around his neck while walking.

Zhongli looked at him thoughtfully.

“What?”

“Your formal uniform looks quite striking, I must say. It looks good on you. Gives you an air of power and influence.”

The ginger felt his heart skip a beat at these words. No, no, no, he couldn’t focus on this too much. There wasn’t deeper meaning behind the compliment, he just meant that he didn’t look bad. That it was a good look because it made him look important and powerful. “Ah, thank you.”

He had to shove his feelings for the god down, down, down, to the deepest depths of his heart. Once they were back in Liyue, he could dig them out again. But in Snezhnaya, in front of the other harbingers and the Tsaritsa, he would have to appear emotionless.

The god smiled before they arrived at the exit, and just a moment later they were in Zhongli’s apartment.

“It would be better if I transform and hide in your scarf now. There would probably be people around the teleport. And changing when we’re already in Snezhnaya might be risky too.” Zhongli said, sounding careful.

“I agree.” Ajax said, nodding.

“Very well.”

Golden light surrounded Zhongli, then got smaller and smaller and smaller until it was only a long, floating, glowing shape. When the light dispersed like fireflies, all that was left of Zhongli was his beastly form, that Ajax had already seen.

Except much, much smaller.

Really only little bigger than a ferret, maybe a little longer. Just big enough that he’d be able to wrap around Ajax’ neck. His scales were tiny, really looking like snakeskin now.

Oh, he was adorable!

“Oh my,” Ajax said. “Why do you guys not sell rex lapis plushies?! That would be perfect for the children. I found a gap in the market! Okay, I’m sorry, but you look super cute. That’d be a hit with the little ones!”

Zhongli made a soft noise, something between a laugh and a displeased huff. “I may be small, but I am still a dragon. And I can change back any time.”

“I know, I know. You still could kill someone in 5 seconds flat even if you’re cute and small and – Oh Celestia, are those toe beans?” Ajax asked, lifting one of Zhongli’s tiny paws up, gently poking one of the squishy pads.

The dragon huffed softly, flying over to him and pawing on his shoulder. “Come on, we don’t want to be late, after all.”

“Aww, are you embarrassed? Don’t be!” Ajax laughed, pulling open his scarf. He could feel Zhongli drape over his nape, letting himself hang down to his front. The snakeskin like scales feeling smooth and not at all unpleasant against him.  “All settled?”

“Should be fine. This might be the best hidden option, hidden both by your scarf and the fur from your cloak. Even if I move around a little bit, they shouldn’t see.” Zhongli said softly, a little muffled through the scarf.

“Alright,” the fatuus replied, pulling his scarf up and adjusting it.

Then he walked out of Zhongli’s apartment down to the teleporter, taking a last good look at the streets of Liyue, that he’d learnt to love so much in these past months. He touched the teleporter and in no time, he was at the grand white marble plaza in front of Zapolyarny Palace.

He took a deep breath, putting Tartaglia’s mask on tightly, letting not a single emotion reach his face and shrouding himself into an air of coldness, confidence and arrogance.

Showtime.

He walked across the plaza towards the entrance of the palace, his cloak billowing behind him. He spared the two heavily armed guards just a quick glance before they stepped aside to let him pass.

“Welcome back, lord harbinger,” they said in unison, politely nodding their heads.

Tartaglia acknowledged them only with a slight nod before he walked past them, into the grand entrance hall. The whole palace was crafted from the same pure white marble as the plaza outside,  accentuated with glass, silver and gold.

He turned to the right into a corridor, then down a flight of winding stairs to get to the catacombs. Even here, everything was white marble. “You alright back there?” He muttered under his breath, feeling Zhongli’s warmth in his nape.

“I am, don’t worry,” came the almost inaudible reply close to his ear, a paw lightly patting just above his collarbone.

Tartaglia kept walking, he soon could see the broad silhouette of Capitano a little further ahead, silently walking to the dimly lit chapel at the end of this corridor. A soft voice was singing something sounding like a lullaby.

The ginger followed him, entering the chapel just a little after him, seeing all of the others already there. In the front part of the room, past rows of wooden benches on either side, was a large silver casket with golden accents. Colombina laid on it with her head, singing to it gently.

He remembered that she had gotten along quite well with Signora. On rare occasions, they could be heard singing together. For a second, he felt morbid curiosity come over him. Was the casket empty? Had her majesty managed to procure Signora’s remains from the electro archon? Or had she sent them to Snezhnaya herself to show what she was capable of? A warning to the cryo archon?

They all didn’t verbally acknowledge one another, just a curt nod. Then, at the far end of the room, shrouded in the shadows of the columns and arched ceilings, he could spot her.

Ice-blue eyes fixed on the casket, emotionless as ever. Her long, silver hair falling behind her like a curtain, parts of it artfully pinned up around her crown made from the purest diamonds mined in all of Snezhnaya. He knew that in the back of it, it would fade to ice blue, just like Zhongli’s faded to amber.

Her floor-length black dress was glittering, a filigree pattern iced onto it. It made her already pale skin look even paler, if it wasn’t for the white fur cloak draped over her shoulders, one could think her skin was pure white. Above the elegant line of her collarbone rested a necklace made from black pearls and more diamonds with matching earrings.

She stood there silently, not making a single movement. Her lips pursed in a thin line, blood red lipstick as always. Objectively, she was a beautiful woman. Befitting of the title goddess of love. Her whole appearance was delicate and elegant, yet with a cold aura that commanded respect.  

Tartaglia’s attention was taken away from her, when Pulcinella spoke up. “We are gathered here today, to remember our dear comrade. In honor of her sacrifice, all work should halt for half a day, as the nation mourns her passing.”

“Haha, merely half a day? People say the Northland Bank’s true currencies are blood and tears…” Pantalone said, smiling ever so slightly. “But Mayor, even speaking as a banker, this sounds a little unconscionable.”

Arlecchino stepped forwards towards the casket at his words. “Rosalyne died in a foreign land. But you heartless businessmen and dignitaries, always with a convenient excuse to remain in the comfort of your homeland… You couldn’t hope to understand. So why don’t you keep your mouths shut?!” She said sharply, having been close with Signora as well. “We don’t want to make the children cry…”

Tartaglia laughed, standing behind her closer to the wall with crossed arms. “Hey, come on now. Even I don’t think this is the right time or place for a fight.”

“Utterly risible,” Sandrone chuckled, as usually seated on the large hand of her robot. In all his years as a harbinger, he’d never once saw her walk on her own. He wasn’t even sure if she was able to. Maybe she used the robot instead of a wheelchair? Getting around with those was difficult on the permanently frozen ground after all.

Next to her, Capitano spoke up, deep voice sounding slightly regretful. “Though her methods tarnished her honor, Lohefalter’s sacrifice is a great pity. Her loss shall not hinder our progress. But Dottore… What of Scaramouche and the gnosis from Inazuma?”

Dottore shook one of his vials, filled with blue liquid and looked at it. “Conventional wisdom holds that divine knowledge cannot be rationally comprehended. After conquering the divine gaze, he will make his next move.”

The ginger frowned, wondering what the strange doctor was up to this time. Especially together with Scaramouche, who was oftentimes quite unpredictable and followed his own goals. But that would probably soon no longer be his problem. Though, maybe something he should keep in mind for the next time he saw Lumine, considering she was the one cleaning up after their lot.

Pierro stepped forwards, closer to the casket, the rest of them following his example. “It’s time to end tonight’s foolish theatrics. Right now, you have no captive audience. Let every worthy sacrifice be carved in ice, and with this nation endure for all time. In the name of Her majesty, the Tsaritsa, we will seize authority from the gods…” They all closed their eyes and bowed their heads in respect to Signora.

The chapel suddenly started to get a lot colder, a shiver running down Tartaglia’s spine. From the outside, the palace was probably freezing over right this instant. A phenomenon that could be spectated frequently, whenever her majesty was struck by certain moods. At the same time, ice started to appear around the casket.

“Absolute peace… Such is the gift from the Tsaritsa, such is her majesty’s benevolence… Now you rest in this coffin, encased in layer upon layer of ice. But Rosalyne, I promise you… Your final resting place will be the entirety of the Old World,” Pierro said, voice heavy as a pyro crystalfly descended towards the coffin, disintegrating into embers.

They respectfully stood there for a little while longer, then started walking away from the coffin. Pulcinella and Pantalone were discussing business together as they left the chapel, Sandrone following behind them wordlessly. Capitano walked out shortly after them. Arlecchino stood next to the casket for a moment longer than everyone else, then stormed out with hurried steps, wiping at one of her eyes with a hand.

It was only Tartaglia, Dottore and Colombina left, together with her majesty.

Dottore started walking out, the young looking girl following him, speaking up again softly. “I must say, you’re looking very young today, Doctor.”

Dottore looked at her while walking, a mixture of disgust and annoyance on his face. Good, Tartaglia liked when he was pissed off. Out of all the harbingers, he probably liked that guy the least.  Probably because the others didn’t want to dissect him alive, contrary to the doctor.

“You know very well that I do not take that as a compliment.”

“So, where’s the segment in the prime of his life, then?” She asked curiously.

He scoffed. “Heh. He’s busy with… A little experiment in blasphemy.”

The two of them kept walking together, soon out of earshot of him, where he stayed behind. The Tsaritsa had stepped towards the coffin, bowing her head slightly. He was considering leaving, but he felt quite sure that she would ask to speak with him. Maybe right here, or maybe she’d ask him to the throne room.

She turned around almost soundlessly, just the click of her high heeled shoes against the marble, white fur cloak trailing behind her as she walked towards him. “Tartaglia, welcome back in the homeland. It has been quite some time since you have been back.”

He knelt down on one knee in front of her, bowing his head. “Thank you, your majesty. It has been, indeed.”

“Rise, my dear vanguard. I take it you have read that I would like a chance to speak to you privately? Please, accompany me to the throne room. We have much to talk about.” She said, looking him straight into the eyes, gaze piercing.

He swallowed hard. She was the goddess of love. Surely, she had seen right into his heart. “Of course, your majesty.”

Her lips curled up in a hint of a predatory smile. “Many and very interesting things indeed.”

It had been a long time since Ajax had felt like prey.

Chapter Text

The Tsaritsa beckoned him to follow her, her immaculately manicured hands clad in long black lace gloves that ended in a “V”-shape before her fingers, fixed with golden rings around her middle fingers. The blood red of her long nails matching her lipstick. Even if she hated being the goddess of love, she still seemed to like the color.

She walked ahead, moving as elegantly as a snowflake falling from the sky.  He followed her quietly, keeping his eyes trained on her back, exiting the chapel. Then back up the winding stairs to the entrance hall. There they walked along the main corridor until they reached the grand throne room.

At the far back of it was the large crystal throne that her majesty would sit on whenever there were visitors. The room was very minimalist, like the whole palace, but the few things there were luxurious and expensive: large crystal chandeliers, marble columns that were iced over and stained-glass windows.

Off to the side stood the chessboard that she always had there, except that two of the white figures had been replaced with the geo and anemo gnosis. One of the black figures was laying on the board. Tartaglia wondered what was up with that.

The throne room was only used on very rare occasions. The cryo archon preferred to stay in her living quarters, or to meet in her study. The throne room was reserved for official businesses like the inauguration of a new harbinger or when they came back to report directly to her.

A long time ago, it was said to be used for visits from devotees asking their goddess for blessings, favors and advice, bringing her gifts and worship. But the Tsaritsa had long since stopped this, rarely a mortal had laid their eyes on her in the past 500 years.

The few that did were either especially lucky or especially unlucky.

She walked to the throne and sat down onto it, elegantly crossing one leg over the other. “Well, tell me how your mission went. I did receive the report from Signora, but you were there for the preparations, after all.”

Ajax wanted to yell at her. She had kept him in the dark, used him, played with him. And she wouldn’t even apologize, even if he was here now. Of course not, because in her own point of view, she hadn’t done anything wrong. In her view, as an archon, she could do no wrong.

“It went well. I met up with the hired consultant as per her majesty’s instructions. He taught me plenty of useful things about Liyue, and I took care of things for the Northland Bank as well. The subordinates her benevolence granted me were all very skilled and useful, they were a great help in my mission.”

She nodded her head slightly, hand gesturing for him to keep going.

Tartaglia swallowed. “When everything was ready to unleash the old god, I intended to go and steal the gnosis, but I was interrupted by the traveler. I am sure you have heard of her at this point.”

The Tsaritsa looked at him with a hint of annoyance, waving her hand dismissively. “Indeed. The blonde woman that seems to be set on disturbing my plan. Signora told me about her, and I know that she was the one that battled her in a duel before the throne in Inazuma, causing Baal to kill her. What a bothersome individual. But I am confident that she eventually won’t be a problem anymore.”

He just nodded, not wanting to say anything. What should he even? Certainly not that Lumine had become a friend. That she’d peeked behind the mask of Tartaglia and had determined that the person behind it wasn’t plain evil. That there was someone worth knowing behind it, someone worth treating as a friend.

“I have heard that you are meeting with that woman regularly,” her majesty said, just the slightest frown on her face.

Oh, he had really gotten better at reading even the subtlest changes in expression, had he? Reading Zhongli’s minimal changes, before he’d started to be more open, had schooled him well. Before this, he had never been able to catch any emotions on her face or in her voice, it had all just been emotionless and cold.

“I am, we have a sparring session every Monday at the golden house,” he admitted. “She offered a rematch after I lost to her, and what better way to learn of all the weaknesses and the fighting style of someone than repeatedly sparring with them?”

“Hm.”

“We set a timer. She’s starting to take longer to beat me,” he said. “But she still does beat me. She is very strong. But I will figure her out.”

“Perhaps. I assume Signora told you that you were supposed to be a decoy from the start?”

He kept himself from flinching, not wanting to show her his emotions. No, Tartaglia was cold, emotionless. “Yes, your majesty. Though I do not understand why I wasn’t told about my role, if I may ask?”

“You are unpredictable. Both one of your greatest assets but also one of your greatest weaknesses. I found it to be the safer option not to tell you, and let you wreak havoc in Liyue of your own volition. I wanted to make sure everything would go smoothly, and our side would hone the contract with Morax.”

Of course, no apology. Because she couldn’t do any wrong, as a goddess and as an archon. Why would she apologize for using her tool? But Zhongli did. Because he cared about him. His goddess didn’t, even if he swore her loyalty.

There was a light rubbing against his shoulder. Was Zhongli trying to comfort him? Remind him that he was here? How sweet of him. Ajax could feel warmth well up inside him. Right, he wasn’t alone. No matter what was about to happen today.

He loved this man so much. Even if he’d never be allowed to be in a relationship with him, he was so happy to be by his side. Zhongli always treated him so well, cared so much about him. He desperately wanted to go back to the realm and just spend the rest of the day burrowed in the soft pillows and fluffy blankets of Zhongli’s bed, maybe being held and comforted while he got over the loss of everything he’d worked for so hard.

“What happened after Signora secured the gnosis, when you decided to stay behind in Liyue?” The goddess asked.

“I thought it would be better to stay. It allowed the Northland Bank to operate mostly unbothered by the Qixing. They did consider banning any and all fatui from entering Liyue, we were able to convince them not to. I’ve since taken care of various business for the Northland Bank, especially debt-collection.”

She hummed, barely audible. “They just let you stay there? I would have guessed that they would kick you out first thing once the flood subsided.”

“I… I helped a few people escape when the flood hit. I didn’t want any casualties to become a problem for her majesty later on. I felt that a death toll would have made things more complicated in the long run. And apparently these people came forward towards the Qixing and asked them to clear my name. As well as the geo archon, I don’t know the details, but I have been told he must have instructed them to leave me alone. I assume considering it was all part of his own plan.”

“Hm. How benevolent of him. Indeed, it was his own plan after all. So that’s what you have been doing all this time? Debt-collections?”

“Taking care of necessary paperwork and training my subordinates as well, your majesty. And I also kept meeting with the consultant to further my knowledge of Liyuen culture, hoping that my understanding of it may help in the future,” Tartaglia added, unsure if she really was aware of the geo archon and the consultant being the same person. Or if she was aware, if she knew that he did too. Shit, he should have asked Zhongli in advance.

“Is that so? How did you think this knowledge would be useful?” She asked, sounding curious.

“Liyuen people are proud of their nation and their culture. They appreciate it whenever effort is made to learn about them and their ways. They are suspicious of us fatui, but I have noticed that it’s less so if someone happens to show interest or is already knowledgeable about their culture.”

“Ah, so you were thinking ahead of the future of the Northland Bank or other possible missions in Liyue?”

“I was, your majesty.” He replied, mostly honest. That had been his initial reason to stay and not leave with Signora, after all. And a slight hesitation due to his love for both Zhongli and this nation.

“I see. Have you been to see your family already?”

“Not yet, I came here directly. I was planning to visit them after speaking with you, if there would be time. Of course, if you have a mission for me, I will leave for it immediately.”

“No, no. You can visit them once we are done here, you will have some time for it. You haven’t seen them in months, and I know how important they are for you. Even if I had a mission lined up for you, I would have made sure you can at least visit them for a few hours.”

Tartaglia bowed his head to show his gratitude. Anything to get her to think everything was normal. So far, nothing she said indicated that she thought something wrong. Had the investigations not turned out that badly for their side? Wasn’t she able to sense his feelings for Zhongli after all?

The goddess uncrossed her legs and recrossed them, switching the legs around elegantly. She propped up her elbow on the armrest of the throne, propping up her face with her hand by resting it against the right side of her jaw.  “What do you say about that subordinate of yours… Ekaterina?”

“She is very capable. Has a talent in organization and administrative matters. Friendly, easy to get along with and has been a great help for me. I’m very happy with her work as my secretary.” He replied, completely honest this time. Katya was a tremendous help; he wasn’t much good with organizing and admin work. He was definitely lucky to have her manage these things for him.

“I see. Have you had any worries about her behavior recently? I have received some messages saying she might be… too far gone, if you understand what I mean.” The Tsaritsa asked, cold stare, her lips pulled into a thin line of displeasure.

“I am aware she’s made some friends in Liyue. But I didn’t see it as concerning, she hasn’t neglected her work at all, she’s still as dutiful and diligent as ever. On the contrary, I thought it might do her good. Many of her fatui comrades are men, and she’s found some girls she gets along with.

And I figured if it’s a smart decision for me to learn about Liyue, it would be for her as well, seeing as she’s working as the secretary and teller of the Northland Bank. She’s in a representative function towards the liyuen people.”

She made a thoughtful noise. “Ah, so you think that the people visiting the Northland Bank would appreciate having seen her around Liyue, enjoying their food and taking part in their traditions?”

“I do, yes,” Tartaglia confirmed. His heart was starting to beat faster. So, he had been wrong, she really was trying to gauge whether to punish them or not.

“Do you think she is still loyal to our cause?”

“I am.” He said firmly. She was, after all. She would have been able to keep working with the fatui without a problem. Even if she had gotten the smallest doubts. There probably were plenty of people with some doubts in their ranks.

“And why should I believe you?” The nails of her left hand were tapping on the armrest of the crystal throne, quiet sound between them.

“I’m sorry?” Tartaglia asked, feeling a cold shiver run down his spine. “I don’t have a reason to doubt her. Not yet at least. I don’t think that her friends would cause an interruption to her work and her dedication.”

“No? Hm, perhaps. But the issue is that I don’t know if you are still loyal to our cause either, my dear Tartaglia,” she said, her lips just slightly curving into a predatory grin.

“I am her majesty’s loyal blade,” he replied hurriedly, bowing his head.

She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Oh? Then why does it seem that your loyalties lie with a foreign archon instead?”

“They don’t. I have sworn my loyalty to you when I was fourteen years old, your majesty.”

“And at twenty-five, you seem to see things vastly different. If the reports I received are anything to go by. And considering they were not able to constantly keep an eye on you, as I initially had instructed them, I have to consider things to be worse than reported, even.”

Tartaglia swallowed hard, trying his best not to shiver at how the room grew colder by the second. “I am still your majesty’s loyal vanguard. Everything I do is in the name of your benevolence.”

“Your heart is torn. Your unpredictability is both an asset and a detriment. I can’t have my vanguard stabbing my back for another archon.”

“I would never,” he said, but even he could hear how unsure he sounded. He probably would, if it was Zhongli’s life above hers.

He could feel the small dragon move in his scarf again, just slightly pawing at him again. Comforting him.

“Can you not hear how unsure you sound yourself?”

Tartaglia clenched his jaw.

“You’ve always had too much of a hear left, Tartaglia. You couldn’t rid yourself of what was left of it and your humanity. And I always understood that this might one day happen. Though I don’t think I could have ever guessed why and how,” she mused.

“Your majesty…”

“You know that I have to draw consequences for both you and Ekaterina. And it’s a shame, really. You were an excellent vanguard. If only you didn’t have a heart, you would have risen all the way to the top. But like this, I don’t have use for you anymore.”

“I’m sorry, your highness…” Tartaglia pressed out, feeling his throat constrict painfully.

The Tsaritsa got up from her throne, walking down the few steps to stand in front of him. He bowed his head politely.

“You could have almost fooled me, if it wasn’t for the fact that I am – begrudgingly – still the goddess of love. And I had a feeling that one day, you would come to love someone. And what a love it is. I cannot say I have seen a love so deep and all-encompassing in my life so far.

It is fascinating in its own right, and maybe, if the object of your affection wasn’t Morax of all people, I might have let you off the hook. But I cannot have a vanguard that would lay down his life for another archon over mine, when forced to make a choice.”

Ajax went rigid with shock, feeling Zhongli in his nape do the same. He felt stiff like a board back there. Ajax felt terrified. He was so stupid. Why had he not considered the possibility of her saying something? He shouldn’t have taken Zhongli with him. Now he would lose him.  Ajax wanted to cry, and half hoped that his goddess would make him an ice statue after all.

“It’s a pity. But I will show mercy for the fact that love is not a conscious decision. And you served me well for over ten years.” She took a deep breath. “Both you and Ekaterina will be cast out from the fatui, stripped of your ranks and titles.

You shall both be exiled from Snezhnaya, never to return again. If you do, the ice shall get you. I know that Ekaterina has no family here, but you do. You have 24 hours to leave Snezhnaya, take them with you if they will. If not, they will not see harm for your transgressions.”

“T-Thank you, your majesty,” he pressed out, desperately trying to save face. She was being generous after all. He could have died right here, right now. And as things were, he was not confident that Zhongli would have saved him.

She just nodded her head. “Farewell, Tartaglia.”

With this, she turned around and left through a door at the side of the room, back into her own living quarters, leaving him alone in the throne room. Well, with Zhongli, but he would rather be alone right now, if he was honest. Or dead.

Ajax quickly took a look around, seeing that he was still the only person in the room, then snatched two pieces off the chess board, shoving them into the pocket of his coat. Hurriedly, he walked out of the palace, not looking back.

Ajax felt panic rise in him at the thought that Zhongli knew now. Knew about his feelings, about this stupid, stupid love he had for him. That this whole time, he shouldn’t have bothered with him. That he had wasted his time and friendship and generosity  and kindness on someone who had lied to him. Well, never directly. He never said he wasn’t in love with him. But lying by omission.

He rushed out of the entrance, the guards politely nodding again. “Farewell, lord harbinger,” in unison. He didn’t acknowledge them at all this time. He couldn’t care less anymore.

He hurried across the marble plaza, careful not to slip on the ice. As if he would, Snezhnayans rarely did with how used to ice and snow they were. They spent their whole lives in the slippery cold after all.

What would Zhongli say? Would he even speak to him at all, or would he just silently leave? Look at him with disapproval? Awkwardly try to explain to him that he would never love him, as if he didn’t already know?

And what would the others say? Guizhong had treated him like a friend. Lian almost like her own child. Guizhong hugging him, Lian kissing his hair and hugging him. He’d felt so warm with them all.  How terrible would they feel that they wasted their time and efforts on him. How stupid would they feel when Zhongli would return alone, explaining to them why Ajax wouldn’t be around anymore. How Ajax had destroyed their friendship beyond repair.

Because stupid Ajax was in love with him. So much so, that the goddess of love said she’d never seen anything like it. Just how deeply did he love this man for her to say something like this?

More than his queen.

More than his home.

More than his status.

More than his own life.

More than anything, safe for maybe his family.

He thought about all the things the two of them had talked about. Zhongli telling him he wanted to learn more Snezhnayan dishes, learn their dances. Promising to teach more liyuen dishes and liyuen dances to Ajax. Telling him he could stay at the realm as long as he would like. Talking about how he was curious to see what Ajax would make of himself in the long life he had ahead of him.

Promising him that he wouldn’t be alone. Making a one-sided contract that he would always be there and support him. He’d done it without knowing everything, without knowing the man he was promising this to was in love with him. It had never been fair.

He remembered that there were abandoned houses on the cliffside across the harbor. They’d fallen apart a long time ago, but maybe one of them would be fine to take shelter in if he put some work in to get the roof fixed a little. He was going to lose his apartment too, after all. And chances of someone letting him rent were slim, even if he’d be able to survive on the money he had saved up for a long time.

But even as an ex-fatui, nobody would want him in their building. And he had to make sure his money would stretch as far as possible into the indefinite future, considering he wouldn’t know if anyone would even hire him ever again.

Good thing that he was used to a simple life. He would be alone, but he would survive. Maybe long enough so one day, it wouldn’t matter anymore that he was an ex-fatui, because they would all be long gone and nobody would remember them. Maybe if he had enough money left over then, he might be able to get a fresh start somewhere.

Ah, but the plan to use those abandoned houses would only work if he’d even be permitted to stay in Liyue at all. He could understand if Zhongli wanted him gone from his nation completely, didn’t want to risk seeing him ever again. Even if Zhongli had said that he owed him one for the retirement fiasco, he didn’t think he would be able to forgive him for this. But maybe because he said he owed him, he would let him stay, maybe just for a little while. Worst case, he could just go live in the woods or under a bridge in Mondstadt. Or travel to Sumeru, where it would be warmer year-round.

Finally, finally, he arrived at the teleporter. He put his hand on it and let himself be whisked away far away from Zapolyarny.

Chapter Text

Ajax stumbled away from the teleporter, towards the edge of the forest right next to it. It was starting to snow lightly, fluffy snowflakes falling down from the sky. But he couldn’t quite care about it. He could feel Zhongli move in his scarf, removing himself from it.

Of course, he wouldn’t want to be close to him like that anymore after hearing what the Tsaritsa had said. After hearing what Ajax had kept from him for almost eight months. He registered the golden light of Zhongli’s transformation in the corner of his eye. He felt his legs give out, so he leaned his back against the thick trunk of a tall fir. Ajax could feel the anxiety rise, his hands shaking, his chest hurting.

There were so many emotions welling up in him, it made him feel overwhelmed. For so long he’d suppressed most of them, but now they were hitting him with full force. Ajax was relieved that his goddess had shown mercy instead of deciding to dispose of him. He was sad about never seeing his siblings again, because losing Zhongli would also mean losing all the help he had offered. He was panicking, scared of what the future would hold for him now.

But above all, he was grieving his friendship with Zhongli and the future they could have had together, even just as friends. How often had he imagined that the rest of his life would be similar to what they had now? Spending time together, talking about anything and everything, sharing their lives as friends.

Learning from Zhongli, teaching him the little things he knew in return. Sharing the culture he grew up in with him, while the god shared the liyuen culture with him. Slowly learning more about himself in the process, because somehow it was easy for Zhongli to bring out “Ajax” from the depths of his heart, where he’d hid his true self all this time.

How unfair it was, losing everything now, when he finally started seeing himself as a person again. When he realized that he wasn’t just a monster in the guise of a young man. Ten long years he had told himself that he wasn’t a human anymore, so he didn’t need what they needed. He didn’t need comfort, friends, love.

He was just a monster. Who would even want to be friends with him? Who would even want to love him? And all these years he just convinced himself, that this was fine. That he didn’t need these things. And then he’d met Zhongli, who melted the ice around his heart with his warmth. Guizhong and Lian further broke down the carefully crafted walls around his heart.

Ajax didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted to have friends, wanted to have his family. Wanted to be loved, even if he knew that this would never happen. He had been shown almost the opposite of what he was used to, and now that he’d have to go back, he didn’t know how to cope.

He couldn’t look at Zhongli. Seeing the shock and disappointment would break him. “I’m sorry,” he rasped, voice straining with how much he was trying to hold back tears. “I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry, Zhongli, please believe me.”

How insulting it must feel for the god. A vile abyss creature like him, in love with a divine being. Blasphemy of the worst kind. A sin that he would never be able to atone for. His hands and knees were shaking, so he leant his back against the tree trunk more. He had to stay upright.

He couldn’t outwardly crumble, he had to hear what Zhongli had to say first. It wasn’t fair that he was the one having a breakdown, when the adeptus just found out that he’d been betrayed all this time. He didn’t want his pity.

“Ajax…”

“It’s fine. You… You don’t have to keep your promise. You can go back to Liyue. I can understand if you don’t even want me in your nation anymore. I can just go somewhere else. Or stay here and let her get me. Might be for the better for everyone involved,” Ajax scoffed slightly, trying to downplay how miserable he felt.

He just lost the one person who would care. Well, Katya would as well, but she would get over it. Lian and Guizhong…  They would maybe be sad at first, but they were Zhongli’s people first and foremost. If they heard how he had deceived him, they wouldn’t consider him much of a loss either, maybe. No matter how sweet someone was, there were things that were just unforgivable. And his family… one day he would just be a distant memory. Their unwell brother, son, grandson.

Ajax wanted to ask for a hug, or even just for Zhongli to hold his hand. Like he’d done so often these past days, although completely unprompted most of the time. Never again. He wouldn’t ever get to be close to him again, never again be comforted by him. He just wanted to sit down, lean against the tree and cry. Be alone with his pain and misery.

“Stop that. As if I’d let that happen.” He didn’t sound angry. Why? Why wasn’t he yelling at him, or at the very least sounding angry or upset?

He could hear the crunch of snow under the gods’ boots, his steps coming closer. He looked to the side, not even wanting to see even a glimpse of his face.

“I’m sorry,” the former fatuus whispered. “I never wanted you to find out. I didn’t only want to spend time with you because of that. Well, because of my feelings too, but I promise I was honest about cherishing you as a friend. That was entirely separate from my romantic feelings. I-I mean even if I’ve had both for so long, but it’s not…

Obviously after I knew who you are, I didn’t think I’d have a chance. Fuck, even before that I already didn’t really. It’s not like I haven’t been aware that you’re out of my league from the start. Trust me, there was only a very short time window where I thought that maybe – “

“How long?” Zhongli asked quietly, standing directly in front of him. Not that Ajax was looking at him, but he could see his body, with his eyes trained on the floor.

“Hm?”

“How long have you had these feelings for me?”

Ajax laughed bitterly. “Always. Remember how I screwed up your name that evening we met for the first time? And I could do it the next day.”

“I always assumed you spent the rest of the evening practicing,” the god said with a hum.

“No. I spent time during the travel practicing it. I could say it perfectly when I stepped off that ship. And then I saw you…. And it was all gone. Every thought wiped just from looking at you. Because you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life,” Ajax admitted. No point in lying or trying to hide things. Zhongli deserved to finally hear the full truth.

“I should have kept my distance. But I couldn’t. You were so nice to me, and I’m not used to being treated kindly. But… but I should have told you about these feelings a long time ago. Be fair and let you decide if you want to waste your time on me. Just… The closer we became, the harder it got. The more terrifying it was to lose my best friend over these feelings.

And you seemed to be so happy about finally having a friend, too. I never wanted to hurt you. I swear. But I understand now that by keeping this from you, I hurt you worse. I shouldn’t have let it get so far that you opened up to me so much without knowing about it. Fuck, I should have at the very least told you after Guizhong came back. You would have had a friend then. A better one, even. So, you could have told me to get lost...” Ajax said, his throat hurting with every word. It burned, like his eyes. But he needed Zhongli to know how sorry he was.

“I- I release you from your contract, from your promise. It’s not fair, it never was,” he choked out, trying to swallow with how badly it hurt. “I know that you could never – even if you couldn’t only love once. And I swear, I expected nothing from you. I know that you miss your one. Ever since you told me… I obviously knew that even if I had been better than I am, that you’d never love me. And that’s fine. I’m not mad, I’m not upset, I’m not jealous. I wanted to ask you about them, but only because I was curious who they were, what they were like...”

Zhongli hummed, stepping even closer. So close, Ajax could smell the glaze lily oil in his hair. Their boots now practically tip to tip, with only a finger’s breadth or two between them. Was he angry? Probably. Most likely just very good at hiding it, having lived as long as he did. Zhongli had been almost expressionless when they initially met, after all.

“I’m prepared for whatever consequences you see fit for me,” the snezhnayan pressed out. Would he experience the wrath of the rock? Quite likely.

“You want to know about my one?” the god asked, voice soft and quiet. Wasn’t he angry?

“It was just curiosity. Nothing sinister. I would have been too, if I didn’t feel the way I do. I just wondered who they were. What they were like. If you got to actually be with them, and what happened to them. You know, normal stuff. I think.” Ajax explained softly.

“Would you like to hear about them now?”

Ajax blinked in surprise. Of all the times, he was expecting it the very least now. “If you want to tell me?”

“I think I would like to. I met him only about two months after I turned 6849 years old. When I long since had given up on ever finding someone. Just when I spent millennia thinking that I wasn’t able to love after everything I had done.” Zhongli replied, almost a whisper, his warm breath creating little clouds in the cold air between them.

Ajax frowned. “Didn’t you tell me you’re turning 6850 this year?”

Zhongli chuckled softly. “I did tell you that. I do. What an eventful year. Deciding to retire, meeting my one, seeing my people stand strong against an old god and having a falling out with the person most precious to me. Then getting a second chance with him and finding out my mother and Guizhong are still alive… And then trying to support him through difficult times, hoping to help him find this footing when his life is changing irreversibly. Only to find out that all this time, the romantic feelings were mutual.”

Ajax’ head whipped up, looking at the golden eyes. It couldn’t – No. Right? “Don’t joke with me, please,” he pressed out, feeling weak. Begging him. His heart was pounding like crazy in his chest. But Zhongli was looking at him so gently, with such a soft smile.

“I’m not. I swear on my life. Would it help you if I’d admit to the absolutely embarrassing occurrence of me thinking we’d been dating for a few months? O-Obviously that was a while ago, I admit that I’m very much clueless about these things… But then you accepted the chopsticks, and at the time I didn’t consider that you wouldn’t know their cultural significance…” Zhongli said, his face getting redder and redder.

He had thought they were dating? “Cultural significance? I thought they’re normal chopsticks. I thought it meant… I dunno, that I’ve gotten good enough with them or something.”

“I am painfully aware of that now, trust me,” the adeptus groaned, gloved hand reaching up and rubbing over his eyes. “Those were phoenix and dragon patterned chopsticks. Which in Liyue are a traditional engagement gift, signifying a happy and prosperous marriage.”

“Huh? But I wasn’t engaged at the time when you gave them to me. Wait, does this have to do with you thinking I was going to get married a while ago?” Ajax asked, confused.

A pained look crossed Zhongli’s expression. “Not an engagement gift as in a gift you give someone when they get engaged. It’s… I believe I’ve read since that Snezhnayans use rings to propose. In Liyue it’s now become more common to do that too, but traditionally we only used rings once someone got married. To propose, you would use the phoenix and dragon chopsticks. If they accept them, you are engaged.”

Ajax blinked at the other man, needing a moment to process all of this information. Zhongli had gifted him proposal chopsticks. Then asked him in which season he wanted to celebrate – their – wedding.

Zhongli had wanted to marry him. Had proposed to him. With the intention to legally bind them together. Marriage was a big deal for Snezhnayans. A very big deal. But they hadn’t started being physically close up until very recently. So, Zhongli had thought they were dating, even if they never touched more than briefly? Had been prepared to marry him, when they had never held hands or kissed? He would have to know the specifics to all that, but before that…

“H-How long? When did you start feeling this way about me?” Ajax asked, breathless.

The adeptus looked a bit sheepish. “Well, I went down to the wharf to greet the man who I had been hired to support on his mission – who in turn would be part of my retirement plan. But uhm, of course nobody bothered to warn me that you’d be very attractive and very charming. So… you know. Before you even said hello, I was gone already. Didn’t stand a chance against you.”

“So, this whole time, I have been your one? You- you’ve never been in love with anyone before?”

“I haven’t. As I said, prior to meeting you I thought I was unable to even feel romantic love. So to hear that you feel the same, when this past while I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I’d only get to show my love hidden behind the love and care of a friend… Ah, but don’t… don’t think I have any expectations. I mean I can understand if you would prefer not to…you know. Make this a thing.

I understand if I’m not what you’d want for a partner, and if you’d prefer to stay friends even if these feelings are mutual. I’m far from the ideal partner, after all. I’ve told you what we dragons are like.” The god rambled, quite obviously nervous from the way his fingers fidgeted with the sleeve of his coat.

“Are you kidding? Zhongli, I’m stupid, but not that stupid! As if you aren’t the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You have no idea how often I had to remind myself that you would never love me, because you treated me so sweetly, so caring … I couldn’t help but yearn even if I knew you’d forever love someone else. But I mean… If you don’t want to… I’m certainly not, uh, up to par for a god. Abyss monster, exiled fatuus and all.” Ajax replied, feeling embarrassed at assuming for a moment that it was just Zhongli not wanting to pressure him.

Maybe Zhongli loved him but still didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. He was the former geo archon, after all. The god of geo, contracts, history, wealth and commerce. The warrior god and prime of the adepti. The most esteemed and knowledgeable consultant of the Wangsheng funeral parlor, famous for his knowledge of everything pertaining Liyue’s culture and history. Way, way out of his league. As if a worm would ever stand a chance to be in a romantic relationship with the sun.

“I would love nothing more than to have you by my side as my partner, for however long you wish to stay,” the god said, looking at him from under his dark lashes. Ajax could see no lies in his golden gaze. Zhongli wanted to have him as his partner. His heart was going to jump out of his throat at this point.

“Hah, if you say that, you won’t ever get rid of me again, careful.”

The god smiled slightly, shaking his head. “Well, you can still fall out of love. And I promise you if you do, I will not make your life difficult.”

“Pfff yeah no, that won’t happen. I’m very set on wanting you. And there can’t be anyone better out there anywhere, no way. If you have me, you’re not getting rid of me until my last breath,” Ajax said, laughing softly.

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that at all,” Zhongli said, smile getting soft, his hand coming up to rest on the ginger’s upper arm. “Though we’ll have to make very sure that it’ll be a very, very long time before that.”

Ajax smiled, gathered all his courage and put his right hand on Zhongli’s jaw, cradling it. He carefully brushed his thumb over his cheek. “Can I- Can I kiss you? It’s fine if you don’t want to, of course. If that’s not something adepti do. Or dragons. Or gods.”

Maybe the ground should just swallow him. He should have let Zhongli take the lead in these things, even if he had never been in love before him, either.  But he didn’t want the brunette to think he had to do anything, especially not something he didn’t like. He just wanted to be with Zhongli, however that would look like. If that didn’t involve kisses, then that would be fine.

“You don’t need to ask,” Zhongli murmured shyly, a blush spreading on his cheeks. “You can do that whenever you like. Just… I’ve never… I’ll try my best, but it probably won’t be that good, I’m afraid.”

“It’ll be my first time too. But it’s you, and that’s enough to make it perfect,” Ajax assured, seeing the other’s blush darken, filling him with delight. Oh Celestia, he was even more beautiful than usual!

It was a tiny bit awkward, their noses bumping together a bit at first, before they adjusted. Ajax let his eyes fall shut, concentrating on the feeling of the other’s warm breath and then the soft lips carefully pressed against his own.

Zhongli brought his left hand to his jaw, mirroring the way Ajax cradled his’. He could feel the other hand tighten around his upper arm while Ajax moved his to the god’s chest. He couldn’t wait to do this again when the other wasn’t wearing thick clothes, feeling his heartbeat under the thin material of his shirts or silken robes. He had a feeling it would be just as fast and excited as his own.

The butterflies in his stomach were fluttering, probably flying loopings in excitement. Zhongli loved him. He was his one. This whole time, they’d both been seeking each other out. Zhongli loved him. It felt like a dream, this was too good to be real, wasn’t it? But this kiss felt so real, so right. Gentle, tender and warm. Just like Zhongli.

He could feel the angle getting a little weird, but before he could open his eyes it was already better again. They parted to breathe, but immediately he could feel Zhongli kiss him again, lightly pressing him against the trunk of the tree so their bodies could be closer.

Had he ever been this happy in his entire life? He didn’t think so. Was this worth losing everything he'd worked for so hard for the past ten years? Absolutely. Zero doubts.

When they eventually parted after a while, both gasping for air, Ajax opened his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath. Now it made sense why the angle had suddenly become weird during their first kiss. Zhongli had dropped his transformation. Stood in front of him in all his divine beauty. In his real form, he was taller than him. So that had been the exact moment he dropped them.

The god looked a bit embarrassed but laughed. “I- Sorry, I have never been good at staying in control over my transformations when it had to do with you.”

“Oh, come on, don’t blame that on me, it’s been an ongoing problem,” Ajax replied teasingly.

“It wasn’t a problem before I met you and you started occupying my thoughts the majority of the day,” Zhongli said softly.

“What, for real? That’s- That’s why you always wore your coat and gloves and all? That didn’t happen before you met me?”

“It didn’t. You would have had to get me very worked up for me to lose control over my transformation. But after meeting you, I just thought about you so much, that my concentration kept slipping…”

Ajax laughed softly, feeling so, so warm. He could feel Zhongli’s arms around his waist and just a second later he was pressed against the others body and lifted up just a little. Zhongli laughed, spinning them around in circles for a little bit. Then he put him down, only to immediately kiss him again.

The snezhnayan was dizzy, not just from getting spun around like that, mostly just from the absolute joy he was feeling. “Are we… you know… together, now? A couple?”

“I would like that very much, if you want that as well,” the god said, eyes warm and bright like molten gold. So, so warm. Everything about this man was so warm. Gods, he was so lucky.

“I would. I would love that.”

“I love you, Ajax.” Zhongli said affectionately, looking at him almost reverent. It left Ajax feeling breathless again.

“And I love you,” he managed to reply, putting his hands on the gods borrowed scarf to pull him down into another tender kiss. He couldn’t help but smile as well when he felt Zhongli smile into the kiss, the god’s strong arms wrapping around him.

“I want to be with you forever,” Ajax whispered against his lips when they parted again. “This last while of spending time with you almost all day, staying with you in your realm… It’s the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Well, except this, this right now is topping that, obviously,” he admitted, grinning.

Zhongli smiled, kept his embrace save for quickly reaching up and gently brushing some snow off his red hair. “It was the same for me. I loved it, having you with me like that. The domestic bliss I yearned to have with you.”

The ginger felt his heart speed up again. “Yeah, exactly that. It, uhm, started to feel like home.”

“Good. I hope it will be.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you permanently?” Ajax asked, just on the edge of teasing.

Zhongli made a soft noise, half huff, half laugh. “Not like I haven’t offered several times already.”

“You were really serious about me staying with you as long as I want? I thought you’d ask me to go back to my apartment sooner or later.”

“Dear, if it was solely my choice, we’d be getting rid of that apartment. But I understand if you’d prefer to keep your own space to retreat to. Especially in case I turn out to be too much,” the adeptus said gently.

“Too much?” the ginger asked, feeling butterflies in his stomach at being called Dear. How much more would he react if the other man started giving him more pet names?

Good morning, my love. Oh gods, Zhongli had meant him that one morning, hadn’t he? He’d have to ask him about that later.

My love.

He was going to combust at this pace.

“Well, I warned you. We are clingy, affectionate creatures. Possessive. Too much for many, and I would understand if I’m too much for you. You can tell me when it gets overbearing. I’ll do my best to tone it down…”

Ajax pulled him down, placing a quick peck on his lips. “You aren’t too much. You’re perfect the way you are, and I wouldn’t have you any other way. You… you have no idea how loved you make me feel, even before today. You always made me feel like I’m something precious.

So, trust me, you can be how you are. I don’t want you to change or hold yourself back. I want you to be yourself. Because every little thing I’ve gotten to see from you has only made me love you more.”

The brunette looked at him wide-eyed with surprise, then leaned down and pressed their foreheads together affectionately. “Okay. Thank you. I want you to be yourself too, because you’re amazing.”

Ajax could feel heat rise in his cheeks, gently pressing back against the other man. The man he loved. The man that loved him. “I’m losing my apartment anyways, by the way. It was part of my perks as a fatuus. So I’ll have to clear that within a few days.”

“Perfect, then you can just live with me, if you like. My apartment in the harbour is big enough. And the realm anyways. If you’d prefer your own place, I can help you find one.” Zhongli said, humming thoughtfully.

“If you’ll have me, I don’t see the need for a separate place…”

The god smiled, warm and bright. “Wonderful. Then I will be looking forward to living with you.”

Ajax started laughing, heart filled with overwhelming joy and love.  “Do I get to call you my boyfriend in public? In front of my parents? In Liyue? It’s fine if you rather wouldn’t.”

Zhongli looked pleased. “Wherever you want. However much you want.”

“Don’t say that. I’ll scale the jade chamber and shout it down from its roof,” Ajax said, giddy. “Everyone give up! The most eligible bachelor of Liyue, the esteemed and most beautiful Mr. Zhongli, now belongs to me.”

“I’m not sure lady Ningguang would appreciate it, but the possessive dragon in me is very much pleased with the knowledge that you’d want to do that,” Zhongli chuckled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

Ajax took a deep breath, then looked at – at his boyfriend. There was so much he wanted to ask him still. But that would have to wait until later. Until they were home.

“So, are you ready to meet my family?”

“Of course. I’m looking forward to it.” He replied, still with that beautiful smile, looking so happy.

The ginger looped his arm around Zhongli’s, holding onto his forearm. “Well, this way then. And you might want to get your transformations back in place. Or do you want them to immediately know that you’re a god?” He asked teasingly.

“I wouldn’t care much, they’re your family. It’d make sense for them to know that.” He said, unbothered.

Ajax chuckled, his hand squeezing Zhongli’s arm where it rested on the forearm. “I think we’d need to tell them that a little gentler. Might come as a shock that their insane son is dating a former archon.”

“They might not see you as insane anymore then.” Zhongli said softly, the familiar golden light enveloping him, putting his mortal disguise back in place. Dispersing like fireflies between the falling snowflakes.

“Ha, if I told them I’m dating the former geo archon, they’d put me in a mental hospital,” the ginger said, laughing softly. “Though, you’d be able to prove it, so maybe not. But still. I should tell them gently; I don’t want to them to have a heart attack in shock.”

“Probably better, yes.”

“Hey, Zhongli?”

“Hmm?” The other hummed, looking over at him. Ajax felt his heart skip a beat at the way Zhongli looked at him, so gentle and loving. Would he ever get used to this?

“I love you.” He did. So much, he didn’t even know how to properly articulate it.

Zhongli looked at him surprised and blushed, beautiful pink spreading over his cheeks almost to his ears. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you saying that” the god admitted quietly. “I love you too.”

Ajax grinned excitedly, even if his cheeks hurt from how much he’d been smiling in such a short time.

Chapter Text

Zhongli felt warm. Warm and fluttery and giddy. Like he was about to overflow with happiness. Ajax loved him. Oh and how he loved him. He couldn’t deny that the cryo archons words pleased him to no end.

Hearing the goddess of love say that Ajax’ feelings for him were stronger than anything she’d seen in her life made him almost vibrate with excitement. He had to hold himself back from just transforming and kissing the ginger. Deep inside, Morax was preening, rumbling with pride. Mine.

When Ajax asked to kiss him, he had felt incredibly nervous. Scared that he might do it so badly, that the other man wouldn’t want to do it again. And he’d also assumed that Ajax had kissed before, and was more used to someone more practiced.

But no, he admitted to be just as inexperienced, which made his nerves calm down a little. And how nice it had been. Soft, tender and warm. Addicting. Irresistible. Perfect, in it’s own way. Perfect, because it was them, just like Ajax had said. And considering the ginger had kissed him again, it certainly hadn’t put him off.

He looked over to him, watching snowflakes fall into his beautiful hair, glittering like diamonds. His boyfriend was holding onto his arm as they walked along the edge of the wintery forest, the village – Morepesok, probably – to their left.

They passed small wooden houses, the chimneys on the roofs smoking, sheds and barns next to some of them. A few children were running around and playing in the snow, laughter filling the air. Ajax smiled softly as he watched them. Did they remind him of his little siblings, maybe? Or himself, in younger years?

“Are you going to miss it?” Zhongli asked, carefully.

Ajax hummed. “A little, probably. It’s where I grew up. For a long time, this was my home. Even if we live a bit away from the village. I went to school over there,” he said, pointing to a larger building. “Not that I went regularly. With how far away we lived, often the weather was too bad to go. If my older siblings and parents hadn’t helped me, I would have always been way behind. They probably were worried I’d never… you know. I’d never find a job and all that.”

“If it’s any consolation, I never went to school and I found a job,” Zhongli said.

“You’re an archon, not sure you need a resume for that.”

The god shrugged. “I sure didn’t. My resume was the fact that I was the last god left standing in Liyue.”

Ajax chuckled, but ducked his head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. But that definitely isn’t an option for me.”

“It’s fine, I was hoping you would,” Zhongli replied. “Though, I did get all those jobs I worked when I went incognito without a resume, too. Even the one at Wangsheng.”

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that Hu Tao didn’t even want one?”

“Trust me, I wonder every day why she just hired me. I showed up, asking if she might have a job, and she said she was only in need of someone knowledgeable about funeral rites. Which I was, and I told her. Got the job like that, on the spot.” The adeptus mused. It had been a strange way to get a job. Not that he was complaining.

“You could have just bullshitted your way through these years working for her and she probably wouldn’t have realized. I mean how many people could call you out on that?”

Zhongli laughed. “Probably nobody, to be fair. You know how she is. Best not to question her judgement. Or lack thereof.”

The ginger chuckled softly, shaking his head.

The god couldn’t resist watching him for a while. He would probably need a while to fully understand what had happened today. That Ajax loved him back. That from now on, he’d be able to kiss him and hold him just like he wanted to. Well, he had done some of that, but always trying to not make it seem like he was in love with him. Now, he didn’t have to hide any longer.

He’d be able to pepper soft kisses along his shoulders or over his knuckles. Kiss those beauty marks just like he had desperately wanted to ever since spotting them. He’d be able to lean into his back while Ajax was cooking, wrapping his arms around his middle.

Well, if Ajax would be fine with it. This was still something he was scared of. That these things would seem weird to the younger man. Or that it would come across as terribly clingy. He didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Sure, the ginger had insisted that this wouldn’t be the case, but he didn’t know what being in a relationship with him would be like. So he had to be careful.

“Any particular reason why you’re staring at me?” the snezhnayan asked, chuckling.

“… you’re very pretty,” Zhongli admitted. He was, after all.

Ajax’ head whipped around to him, turning bright red. How adorable. “I-I’m not…”

“You are. Can you imagine how many people I have seen in my life? And I’ve never seen someone prettier than you.”

“But- My hair, my freckles… My scars…” Ajax stammered, looking at him with clear disbelief.

“Don’t worry, my dear. I understand that you might not be able to believe it now, with how you’ve been made fun of when you were younger. But I will give it my all to make you understand how beautiful you are in my eyes. So that maybe one day, you will see yourself the way I do.”

The snezhnayan opened and closed his mouth a few times, almost like a fish out of water. Then, he brought his left hand up to his face, rubbing over his eyes. “You’ll be the death of me, Zhongli.”

“I sure hope not. But uhm, if I’m making you uncomfortable, I will stop saying such things, of course.”

“No, no that’s not it. It’s just… Unexpected, is all. Unexpected and new and just… I’m not used to being told such things. Or being treated the way you treat me. It’s going to take some time for me to understand that you truly love me and this isn’t just a dream.”

“I understand, I feel that way too.”

“Hey, Zhongli? Can I ask you something?” Ajax asked, looking at him.

“Of course.”

“You… you know, a few days back, the first night I stayed at your realm… In the morning… When we woke up. Uhm. You said something. And I thought you had been dreaming about someone…”

Zhongli felt heat rise in his cheeks. He was pretty sure that he knew what the other was referring to. Oh Celestia, why did he keep embarrassing himself in front of him? “Ah… Yes I think I know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh.”

“What did you mean to ask about it?” The adeptus asked carefully. Would he ask him to please never actually call him that?

“Why… why did you say that?”

“I apologize. I will take note not to use… what do people call it? Pet names?”

“No!” Ajax said hurriedly, then slapping his free hand in front of his mouth, looking embarrassed. “I-I mean you can call me pet names. If you want to. You don’t have to, of course. But you can, if you want. I don’t mind. It’s cute. I-I wasn’t saying it’s a bad thing, I just… It’s stupid, I guess I just wanted confirmation that it really was about me. That that morning, you called me that.”

Zhongli blinked. Slowly but surely, he thought, he was starting to understand how Ajax’ thought processes worked. Maybe all too similar to his own. “You wanted to know, that I really meant you. That I wasn’t thinking I was with someone else.”

“Stupid, but yeah…”

“I did. How could I not, being this close to you, enveloped by your scent and your warmth? My brain was a little late to catch up, and before I was awake enough to understand that we weren’t a couple, I had already said it.”

A hint of a smile appeared on the gingers lips, before he ducked his chin into his scarf to hide it. It made Zhongli feel warm. “So I can call you that? My love?”

The others head whipped up again, staring at him. Was it too much after all?

“S-Sure. Yeah. I’m absolutely not going to combust anytime I hear it. I totally didn’t have to hold back a scream when you called me “dear” either. I’m a completely normal person that is completely normal about a literal god calling me pet names.”

“As I said, if it makes you uncomfortable – “

“Zhongli. I’m joking. It makes me happy. It really does. That’s why I asked, because I wondered about it when you called me “dear”. I’m serious, it all makes me really happy, that’s it. When I ask these things, it’s not because it bothers me. It’s because what I just said, how I need to get it into my head that this is all true. That your one has been me all along.”

The god stopped walking, Ajax looking surprised when he was pulled to a stop. Zhongli untangled their arms, but gripped Ajax’ and pulled him towards himself. The ginger blinked at him when they were so close, that their chests almost touched.

“It has been you all along. Only you. It was so hard not to get lost in thoughts over you every day, all day. I love spending time with you. I love that I was allowed to get to know you better, getting a glimpse of who you really are. I’ve loved you since the moment you took your first steps in my land. My loved one. My beloved. My most precious treasure. The one my heart belongs to for all eternity.”

Ajax made a choked noise, cheeks getting redder. He was always so beautiful. Zhongli would never tire of looking at him. Very carefully, Zhongli put his hands on the sides of his face, then looked for a sign of disapproval. When Ajax just looked at him, gaze flicking down to his lips briefly, he leant over and gently pressed his lips to the gingers.

When they parted again, Ajax grabbed his wrist and turned around, pulling him with him. He could see that his ears were bright red, and he couldn’t help but laugh softly, letting himself be pulled through the snowy landscape.

They’d been walking through the snow for a while, and there hadn’t been any houses for a bit, when he could see a few houses built close together, almost like a village of their own.

Ajax took a deep breath. “We’re here. Those are my family’s.”

“All of them?”

“Mhm. The one in the front left there is my father’s parents, but my grandfather passed away a long time ago. The one next to them was my father’s brother Sergej, but he died a few years ago, too. The house has been empty since. There was some talk that one of us children might get it, but nothing came of it so far. The one a bit in the back there, with the shed next to it is my parents’, where I grew up in.

The one on the right of it is my brother Artyom and his wife. That one over there are my mother’s parents. The newer looking ones next to it are my older sisters’ houses, Yulia’s and Irina’s.”

Ajax hummed. “Most of the time, everyone is at our house though. So, we might get lucky and have them all there, especially since it’s a Saturday, so my parents and siblings aren’t working.”

“I can’t help but be nervous. I know that’s not really what we’re here for, but meeting your family… I’d like them to approve of me as your partner,” Zhongli said, feeling a little shy. “They’re important to you, after all.”

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. I can’t see how anyone couldn’t like you. And they’ll probably think you’re a good influence, with your calm demeanor.” Ajax replied with a smile, bumping their shoulders together.

“I’d like that. Though you’re probably as much as a good influence on me as I am on you,” Zhongli said gently.

“I am?” Ajax asked, looking surprised.

“Of course. You manage to calm me down effortlessly. You reassure me whenever I am worried about my past or feel bad about who I am.”

“G-Good. I’m glad. Hey, can you… maybe… hug me? Just for a moment. If you don’t want to, it’s fine!”

Zhongli smiled softly. “As if I’d ever say no to that.” Carefully, he pulled the younger man closer, hugging him tightly. He was probably nervous. Which Zhongli was as well. So hugging Ajax seemed like a perfect way to calm them both down a little.

He could feel the other leaning his head on his shoulder, hiding his face against his scarf. Arms wrapping around the god tighter. “Thanks, I really needed this,” he murmured softly.

“You can ask for these things as much as you want, okay? You don’t need to worry about a thing. I like these things just as much.  But I guess we’re both similar in that regard, hm? Worried that the other might not want it. That it might be too much.”

“I guess. I mean, it’s all still so new.” Ajax said quietly.

“It is. So I’m confident that we’ll both get used to it eventually. Just know that you never have to worry about me not wanting to touch you or kiss you or hug you. I love doing this. Both dragons and qilin are very affectionate creatures. So you can maybe imagine that I’d be attached to you like a leech every hour of the day, if I could,” Zhongli admitted, laughing softly.

“I wouldn’t mind. I haven’t been physically close to other people – well, except when fighting, but that’s different – since I was a child. And being close to you is so calming and comfortable. Like nothing bad can ever happen to me again.”

“I’m glad then. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” Zhongli said firmly. He would protect him from anything with everything in his power.

“Thank you. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

Zhongli blushed, hugging him a little tighter. “I wonder what I did to deserve you, too.”

Ajax laughed softly, then let go and stepped away from him. “We’re really much too similar in some things. Just a while ago, I thought we are like day and night.” He reached out for the gods hand, intertwining their fingers so they could go on walking while holding hands.

“We are. After all, some of our experiences are different, but similar. We both were very lonely for a long time, both of us struggle with our perception of ourselves and what we did in the past, we both had to fight tooth and nail to survive impossible odds…” Zhongli mused.

“And we both thought the other could never love us for who we are while being madly in love with them,” Ajax added, grinning.

“Exactly.”

When they stood in front of Ajax’ family home, the ginger took a deep breath. He was still holding Zhongli’s hand, and it seemed like he had no intention of letting go. He knocked on the wooden door, then just opened it and pulled the god inside.

“Take your shoes and coat off. We don’t want to bring the snow inside,” he said quietly, letting go of Zhongli’s hand to take off his own. “It’s just me!” He called into the house.

Zhongli took off his coat and shoes, put them next to Ajax’ in the small hallway. Then Ajax took his hand again, pulling him through the hallway towards a room where voices could be heard. Ah, a dining room. With a long table and many different chairs, a little mismatched but looking cozy all the same.

A few chairs were still empty, but the majority of them was occupied. Zhongli was fascinated by the great many heads of coppery red hair. There were only three people that didn’t have them – a blonde man, who he assumed to be Ajax’ father. An elderly woman, her hair already turned a dark shade of grey. And a young woman with blonde hair, sitting next to a man with just the same red hair – maybe Artyom and his wife? Or was the blonde woman one of Ajax’ older sisters?

A young girl shot up, running towards Ajax, crashing into him. He let go of Zhongli’s hand to wrap his arms around her, laughing fondly.

“You’re back! I missed you so much!” the girl exclaimed into his chest, hugging him tightly.

“Hey, princess. Goddess, you’ve grown, I’ve only been gone for a year!”

“That’s a year too long! It’s the first time you’ve been gone for so long!”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You’re here now.” She said, pulling away and wiping at her eyes. “Welcome home, big brother!”

Ajax smiled, then ruffled her hair a little. “Thank you.”

“Ajax, what a surprise.” A woman called from the table. She didn’t look displeased, really just surprised. Judging from her red hair and her age… Ajax’ mother?

“Sorry, is it a bad time? I don’t want to disturb you too long. I’ve just… I was called back because of work, and thought I’d stop by before I leave again.”

“Ah, no, no. Not bad at all, we’re all here. I didn’t receive a reply to my letter, so I wasn’t sure if you’d come back soon.”

The former fatuus looked at her stunned. “You wrote to me? When?”

“Hm. Maybe two or three weeks ago? Your replies to Tonia are always so speedy, so I was wondering.” She said, humming thoughtfully.

“I never got that letter. It… It might have gotten caught by someone. I have – had – some trouble with work. I would have replied if I had gotten it, I promise.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. I was just wondering, is all. Ah, where are my manners. Come on, sit down you two. Tea? Coffee? And introduce your… friend… to us, will you?” She got up and quickly fetched two cups from a cupboard behind her.

Tonia looked up at Zhongli, then walked back to her chair and sat down. Ajax smiled at him, nodding towards the table, taking a seat next to Tonia, while Zhongli sat down on the empty chair on his other side.

“Coffee, please. This is Zhongli. My best friend. And- and boyfriend,” Ajax said, cheeks turning pink.

Zhongli felt his heart hammer in his chest. He hoped he’d make a good impression. He knew how important Ajax’ family was to him. “It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” he quickly said, bowing his head politely.

He could see that everyone around the table was surprised. “Your boyfriend?” One of the older sisters asked.

“Yeah.”

“How long have you been together?” She asked.

Ajax looked at him, making an unsure face. “Half an hour maybe? Fourty minutes tops?”

“I would agree,” Zhongli said, chuckling softly. “No more than fourty-five minutes in any case. Ah, but consider, we spent almost eight months in mutual denial. So we could have been a couple for easily half a year, if not more, if we both hadn’t been sure that our feelings are only one-sided.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Oh my. Ah, I’m Yulia, by the way. Ajax’ oldest sister.” She pointed to the redheaded man next to her. “This is Artyom, the oldest of us. And that next to him is Maya, his wife. Then next to her is Irina, she’s younger than me but older than Ajax.”

Irina smiled and waved at him; he waved back at her. “Ah, next to Ajax is Tonia, the youngest girl in our family. And there next to father is Alexei, who’s just a year older than Ajax. The two youngest boys, Teucer and Anton, are playing in the backyard, I’m sure they’ll come inside in a while,” Yulia explained.

“I am Ivan,” Ajax’ father said. “And this is my wife, Nastassja.”

“Call me Nastja,” she immediately said, smiling at him. Zhongli nodded in acknowledgement.

“I am Olga, Ivan’s mother,” the elderly woman he had noticed at first said.

Only when sitting down he had noticed the couple sitting next to Ajax’ mother, who looked elderly but still younger than Olga, probably. Their hair was showing streaks of grey, but the man still had a lot of his original coppery color, while the woman’s hair was a light brown. “And I am Nastja’s mother, my name is Maryana. And this is my husband, Ilya.”

“I hope Ajax warned you of his big family,” Nastja said. “It’ll probably take a while for you to remember the names and everything, don’t worry about it.”

“I think it took me three months of dating Artyom to remember them all,” Maya laughed. “I was terrified whenever I got them wrong, I felt so embarrassed!”

“Zh-Zhongli? Would you like tea or coffee?” Nastja asked. “I apologize,” she quickly added, clearly embarrassed about her fumbling with his name.

“Tea would be lovely, thank you very much. And don’t, of course my name would be a little difficult, I’m not bothered.”

She smiled and nodded, then quickly filled the cup with tea and handed it to him. He took a sip. It was slightly sweet and a little citrusy, delicious. “Delightful, thank you.”

“How did you two meet?” Tonia asked, looking over to him curiously.

“I was hired as a consultant for your brother,” he said, not wanting to give away too much. He knew that Tonia did know he worked for the Tsaritsa, but he was worried about saying something wrong.

“A consultant?”

“He helped me understand the culture and traditions in Liyue. So, I wouldn’t embarrass her majesty there,” Ajax explained. “And so I could do my job better. We ended up getting along so well, that we started eating lunch and dinner together almost every day.”

“Oh? Is that something that is a needed profession in Liyue?” Ajax’ father asked, looking thoughtful.

“Well, it’s not my actual job. It’s something I do on the side, whenever someone needs me. My main work is as a funeral consultant. Consulting with the family of the deceased, making sure they receive the proper burial rites… Sometimes I help with things like embalming as well, but that’s only when we’re unusually busy. Normally the director would do that herself.”

“Isn’t that scary?” Tonia asked.

“I don’t find it scary. But I am not easily scared. For me it’s… Hm. I like being able to help families put their loved ones to rest with the utmost care and in the proper way. Honoring the life of the deceased person like this. Because every person, no matter how unimportant they may seem, is important in the grand picture of things. Every life is precious and deserves to be honored.”

“You speak with a wisdom well beyond your years,” Olga said, taking a sip of her tea.

Zhongli laughed. “Maybe.”

Ajax took a deep breath next to him, reaching for his hand under the table. Seeking comfort. Zhongli felt that he was about to tell them that this would be his last visit.

“I need to talk to you about something serious.” He spoke. “This… I won’t be able to come visit anymore. It’s… It’s a long story, but told short… You know I worked with the fatui. And her majesty wasn’t pleased to find out about my love for Zhongli. I-I lost my job, and she’s exiled me. I have until tomorrow around one to leave Snezhnaya for good. I won’t ever be able to return.”

Before anyone could really react, Tonia jumped up from her chair, running out of the room and upstairs, a door slamming shut. Ajax looked miserable, letting go of Zhongli’s hand and getting up. “I-I’ll go check on her,” he said, hurrying out of the room and upstairs.

“You-You know about all this, right?” Nastja asked him.

“I do. I came here with him from Liyue knowing what was likely going to happen. Though I didn’t know about his feelings for me, I thought it’d be our friendship that bothers her. I wanted to be there to support him. She did say that he could take you all with him, if you want to.” Zhongli said softly. Maybe he would be able to help.

“She did? But… we … I don’t know. Life is already difficult here…” she said, worried.

“May I make you an offer?”

“An offer?” Ivan looked at him confused.

“I know… not everything, but quite a bit of the things that have happened over the years. Why your relationship with Ajax is strained. And I also know that his family is still so incredibly important to him. He would love to take you to Liyue, but he’s afraid of asking you to join him. That’s why he didn’t mention it. Because he believes you wouldn’t want to, not for him.”

“So, you know that he got lost in the forest as a child and came back… different?” Nastja asked, a worried look at her face.

“I know that he got lost in the most terrible place even I can imagine. And I… I don’t blame you for not believing him, I understand it can be hard to understand for normal people.” Zhongli said, trying not to offend them.

“But the abyss is terrifying. Nobody could come back from it unscathed. He came back from it at all, which is already nearly impossible in itself. Most people that fall down there never come back.”

“You- you are implying that what he said all those years ago is true? That there is such a place?” Olga asked, sipping her tea.

“You said I am wise beyond my years. Which is what I might come across as, but only because you perceive me to be much younger than I am. I have seen things in this world that you cannot imagine. I have fought against monsters from the abyss myself. So, I can promise you, it is a real place. And it’s worse than anything you can imagine. That he came back from it at all is close to a miracle, a testament to his incredible skill and adaptability.”

“Wait, what do you mean? How- how old are you?” Yulia asked.

Zhongli chuckled. “Very old. In the eyes of humans, at least.”

“Does Ajax know?” Artyom asked.

“Of course. He knows my exact age. Though, I have to clarify, within my own species’ aging process, I am not much older than Ajax. I simply am very old when you hear the number in years.”

Ivan raised his eyebrows. “Your- your species?”

“I am an adeptus. Which is, hm. To explain it easily and rudimentarily, it’s a broad term for mythical illuminated beasts in Liyue. It’s an umbrella term, there are many different species falling under it. Shared traits are a much longer lifespan, being able to shapeshift and having various powers as well as heightened senses.”

“So, you look human, but you aren’t human. He-he does know that, too?” Ivan asked.

“Of course. He knows my beastly form as well. I used a small sized version of it to hide in his scarf while he was talking to your queen. To make sure I’d be there in case anything happened.”

“You- what could you have done against the cryo archon?” Alexei asked, looking wide-eyed. “That sounded oddly confident.”

“Well, I think she knows better than to mess with me. I’d expect her to, at least. Though I could be wrong, I don’t know her particularly well,” Zhongli said easily, taking a sip of his tea. “But enough about me, if you don’t mind. We are a bit pressed for time. As I mentioned, I have an offer to make.”

Nastja nodded, her green eyes trained on him.

“I can promise you a good life in Liyue. I… I have a realm of my own creation. It is similar to the domains that you probably have heard of; it works in a similar way. I can create portals to enter it from wherever I want, and I can create whatever I want inside of it.

I will be able to house you there and allow you to take all belongings that you want in there. Then, if you want to, you can find a house in Liyue itself or just stay in the realm and exit it to go about your days. You won’t have to worry about the necessary money, everything will be taken care of.

You will be able to find jobs that you like, and your children can go to school in Liyue Harbor. The schools there have been repeatedly won prizes as some of the best in all of Teyvat. And you would be able to mend your relationship with Ajax. It would mean a lot to him to have you with him.

If you do not wish to relocate to Liyue, I can make a portal here. Ajax won’t be allowed to set foot on snezhnayan ground, but anyone wishing to visit him could enter my realm and see him.”

“Just who are you, Zhongli?” Nastja asked, fixing him with her gaze. It didn’t come across like she was insulted or angry, at least.

“Someone who would do everything for the man he loves.” Zhongli said, completely honest. “And someone with enough influence in Liyue to make sure that you will have a good life. Judging from what Ajax told me, probably a much better one. No more worrying whether you’ll have enough food to survive an especially harsh winter.”

“I have heard good things about Liyue. A former classmate of mine has become a merchant, he’s opened up a specialty store selling snezhnayan goods in Liyue Harbor,” Artyom said softly. “He said it’s a beautiful country. People seem to lead good lives there.”

“And we can’t just… abandon him like that. We’ve made a mistake by not believing him all those years ago.” Illya said firmly. “We need to fix this. Especially considering he has not fully shut us out, which he would have every right to.”

“And Zhongli’s offer is more than generous,” Maryana added. She brushed her bangs to the side and sighed. “It could be a fresh start.”

“It is daunting,” Irina said, looking careful.

Ivan fixed him with his blue eyes. The same as Ajax’. “How do we know you’re actually serious about everything you said?”

“In Liyue, we settle things with contracts. I hereby swear that everything I promised you about a potential move and a future life in Liyue is the truth. I promise to support you with everything in my power. I will answer any questions you have, though we are a bit pressed for time currently, so questions about me might better be asked once we’re all settled.

I ask for nothing in return. Let this contract be as solid as stone, lest the wrath of the rock shall get me.” Zhongli said, feeling his powers thrum, solidifying the contract.

He briefly wondered if his eyes had been glowing, because the people around the table stared at him even more than before.

“I say we cast a vote. The children will want to move to Liyue, you’ve seen Tonia’s reaction. Anton and Teucer will be no different. They’re all very attached to Ajax, after all. Being able to live with him again would definitely excite them.” Ilya said, taking a deep breath.

Chapter Text

Tonia was softly sobbing into his shoulder, and Ajax hated it. He always hated seeing his younger siblings upset, but Tonia was especially bad. The boys were so young still, often when they would cry, it was just because they wanted one of the adults to pay attention to them, or because of things that could be solved quite easily.

But Tonia, who was slowly becoming a young woman, cried because she was overwhelmed with sadness and knowing she wouldn’t get to see her brother again for a very long time. And he couldn’t do much else than hug her and talk to her softly, trying to console her.

There was a soft knock on the door after a while.

 “It’s me. May I come in?” Zhongli.

“It’s Zhongli. Can he come in? He’s really nice, I promise you.”

“F-Fine,” Tonia called, sniffling.

Zhongli opened the door carefully, closed it behind him like that as well. He walked over to them, looking at Tonia in his arms.  

“Hey,” Zhongli said quietly.

“S-Sorry that I stormed off like that, that wasn’t polite,” she said, turning a little to look at him.

Zhongli knelt down in front of her. “Don’t worry about that, young lady. Of course you were sad. You love your big brother a lot, don’t you?”

“I do,” she sniffled.

He smiled at her softly and it made Ajax’ heart melt with affection for him. “Well, what would you say about living in Liyue and getting to see him all the time?”

“Zhongli…” Ajax said, sighing softly, giving him a pleading look. “Don’t get her hopes up, they won’t agree.”

“I would love that, I’ve seen big brother only a few times per year,” she said. She looked up at Zhongli with her big, blue eyes. The same as his own, before the light in them died in the abyss.

Zhongli reached out, gently patting her hand. “Well, then you better start packing. We have so many things to move, and not even a full day left. Everyone is already busy packing up. Start with the things you really, really want to take with you, okay? Because everything that we can’t move until tomorrow around noon, will have to stay here.”

She looked at him stunned. “We-we’re going to go? All of us?”

He smiled at her. “Every single one. You’ll start an exciting new life in Liyue tomorrow! And something tells me you might really like it. Ajax does.”

Tonia beamed, rubbing her eyes with her hand. “I have to hurry then!”

Zhongli got out of her way as she jumped up, running to her wardrobe to take out clothes. “Ah, but Liyue is really warm, isn’t it? Will I even need warm clothes?”

“Well, it’s starting to become winter, so some warm clothes won’t hurt. But you won’t need your thickest things, it doesn’t get that cold,” the god explained.

She looked satisfied with that answer and started taking out some knitted pullovers. Ajax stared at him, confused and stunned. “W-what did you do?” He asked.

“I made them an offer. They voted on it, and everyone voted in favor. So, your whole family is going to move to Liyue.”

“An offer?”

“I told them the same I told you. That they will be housed, and that they will have jobs and good schools, and that I will personally make sure that they will have a good life.”

“Zhongli…”

“I know how much you wanted them to come, and how much you believed they wouldn’t. I had to at least try it. And now you’ll have your whole family with you. We’ll have a bit of a stressful day ahead of us, getting everything over into my realm, but after that it’ll be fine. Then we can sort out everything else.” Zhongli said.

Ajax stared at him, stunned. “You told them about the realm? How much did you tell them?”

“Just a rudimentary rundown on what adepti are and that I am one. And that I’m older than I look and have powers and influence. We don’t have time for specifics, I told them I’d answer any questions they might have about me at a later time.”

His heart was beating erratically. “They’re all coming. All of them?”

“Every single one. You will have your whole family in Liyue. I promised you, you won’t ever be lonely again. And now you will have them all with you, you’ll be able to spend as much time with your family as you want to,” Zhongli said gently.

Zhongli had somehow managed to convince his whole family to move to Liyue. For him. Because he loved him and wanted him to be happy. Because he knew how important his family was to Ajax, even if their relationship wasn’t the same anymore.

Ajax got up from the bed, standing in front of the god. He reached forward, fisting his hand into the god’s sweater, pulling him towards himself to kiss him. It was a little harsh at first, them almost crashing into each other, but Ajax didn’t mind. It grew softer, gentler, and he hoped Zhongli would understand how much he loved him.

When they parted, Zhongli’s cheeks and ears were beautifully pink. Ajax couldn’t help but smile, reaching up to caress his cheek. The god leaned into his touch, golden gaze warm and loving. He turned his head a little more, pressing a lingering kiss into Ajax’ palm.

Ajax could have gotten completely lost in this moment, if it wasn’t for the soft giggle to the side of them.

“How much did you see?”

“Everything!” Tonia said, still giggling.

He could feel his cheeks heat up. “That’s rude!”

“You’re in my room, snogging your boyfriend,” Tonia laughed. “Don’t blame me for seeing it!”

“She does have a point,” Zhongli agreed.

“Hey, you should be on my side!”

Tonia quickly came over, raising her hand in front of her, grinning at Zhongli. He blinked at her for a moment, then raised his hand and brought it to hers, high-fiving her. She grinned even more. “I think I like your boyfriend, big brother.”

“Just because he said you’re right,” the former fatuus said, shaking his head.

She shook hers too. “Actually, not that. How he looks at you. And how you look at him. You look much better than last time I saw you. Happy. And if he managed to convince the whole family to move, he has to be quite amazing, I don’t think they made it easy for him.”

When had his baby sister gotten so perceptive?

“Well, I love your brother a lot, how could I not try to convince them?” Zhongli asked, Ajax could feel his arms wind around his waist from behind, hugging him from the back. His cheeks heated up again, feeling the warm and solid body against his back. “It means a lot to me that you think of me this highly already.”

Tonia grinned at them. “Good. Because I’m the favourite sister, so my opinion is especially important.”

“How do you know you’re the favourite sister? Maybe that’s Irina,” Ajax protested weakly.

“As if,” she said, tutting and turning around to pay attention to her clothes again. “What is Liyue like?”

“It’s beautiful. It’s warm and friendly. There are trees with colorful leaves and beautiful flowers. The food is delicious. There are so many interesting things about Liyue, its culture and traditions. You like to read, there’s so many good books and fascinating stories.” Ajax replied, smiling as he recounted the things that had won his own heart over slowly but surely. “There’s so many things I want to show you.”

Zhongli’s hold around him tightened slightly, Ajax thought it might be a sign of him being happy. He knew that the god liked the fact that he loved his nation. Probably even more so now that they’d build their own life together there.

“That sounds so nice! I can’t wait to see it all…”

“I’m sure once everything is settled, we’ll have some time to do some sight-seeing around Liyue,” Zhongli said behind him. And man, was the low rumble of his voice something against his back. He leaned back against him a little more, enjoying the feeling of his solid strength. His saving rock against the crashing waves of this day.

“That would be amazing!” She said cheerfully.

“Hm, we should get going. We need to utilize time as well as possible. I should go outside to get the realm entrance done. Then I’ll create a shed and a pile of boxes and crates in my realm, so there’ll be enough to pack everything up. And I’ll ask mama and Guizhong to come help, too.” Zhongli said softly, squeezing him a little tighter before withdrawing his arms.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Ajax asked.

The god stepped forwards and shook his head. “No, better help your family pack up. I’m sure they all want to take as much as possible with them, so we’ll have to make several trips over. I will all give them geo sigils one after another so they can just go back and forth. Anything that they don’t immediately need will go into the shed, everything else inside the house. I’ll craft some more guest rooms so everyone gets their own room.”

“Sometimes I forget that you can just make it bigger or change things around however you want,” the snezhnayan admitted.

“That’s the practical thing about it,” Zhongli said with a smile. He bent forwards, pressing a kiss to Ajax’ forehead. “I will see you in a bit, my love. See you later again, Tonia.”

“See you later!” She replied with a grin, holding a pile of sweaters.

Zhongli stepped out of the room, and he could hear his steps disappear downstairs. Only now he noticed that he could hear commotion in the house, the boys yelling at each other, and his mother calling out to his father.

His heart was beating like crazy in his chest. He still couldn’t quite comprehend it. “I’ll go downstairs for a little, will you be fine?”

“Of course!” Tonia called, almost hidden in her closet between the thick coats.

So he walked downstairs, finding his mother in the kitchen, piling up plates and wrapping them in towels so they’d be safe. “Is Tonia feeling better?”

“She is. So it’s really true? All of you are coming to Liyue?” He asked carefully.

“We are. Well, we at least hope that that’s something you want? Zhongli said you would…” She said, carefully using a thin rope to tie the plates and towels into a neat little package.

“I do, I do want that,” he said quickly. “I just didn’t think you would want that… I mean, I told you guys years ago that I could move you all to Zapolyarny and get you new houses there and you didn’t want that. So, I assumed that you’d prefer to stay here, even when I can no longer visit… Uhm, can I help you with something? Pack something up?”

His mother hummed softly, pointing to one of the cupboards. “You could get out the pots and pans out of that one, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” he said, opening and getting to work.

“We refused because we didn’t want to burden you like that. We know how expensive living in the capital is. We could have never afforded anything on our own, and we didn’t want to constantly ask you for money,” she said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Even if her majesty paid you a good salary, it would have been too much. We didn’t want to live off you. We always wanted our children to have better lives.”

“When I asked you that, I earned enough to relocate half of Morepesok to the capital for the next fifty years,” Ajax replied absentmindedly. “I never told you, but I was made a harbinger when I turned 18.”

His mother stilled for a moment. “You were?”

“Mhm. The eleventh harbinger, Tartaglia. I worked my ass off those four years before that, rising through the ranks faster than anyone before me.”

“Why did you never tell us? That’s a huge achievement.”

Ajax swallowed, putting the pots and pans on the table. “I… I figured you wouldn’t be interested to know. I thought as long as you guys just knew that I have a job and earning money, you would be satisfied knowing that I’m not a complete failure at least.”

“We never thought you were a failure. We just didn’t know how to help you, we felt helpless and scared because you came back so different after you got lost… We didn’t know what to do…” She said quietly, moving on to the silverware drawer, bunching up the spoons and tying them together.

Ajax sighed, running a hand down his face. “I know. I-I never held that against you.”

“You should. We didn’t believe you. Zhongli made very clear that everything you tried to tell us back then is true. And we didn’t listen. We just picked the easiest explanation, which was that our anxious little boy got scared to unimaginable depths those three days out in the forest, and that that messed with your head.”

“Well, that’s not that far off. Just that it wasn’t the forest. It was something far worse. And not three days, three months of it. For me, anyways,” he said, stacking the pots and pans into each other, then grabbing the rope.

“Three months?”

“Time behaves different down there. I was in the abyss for three months. When I came back up, only three days had passed here. I-I fought for my life every day for those three months. I fought tooth and nail to make it back up to the surface, make it back to my family. So yeah, when all of you didn’t believe me, it felt bad. And after being on survival mode for so long, you don’t just go back to being normal. It still affects me.”

She turned around to look at him, then stepped closer until she was right next to him. “I know that we don’t really have the time to speak about everything in detail today. But I sincerely hope that we can do so once we’re in Liyue. If you’ll tell me, I want to know everything that happened.”

Ajax looked at her surprised. She- she wanted to know? Had Zhongli’s words changed her mind that much? The hurt, upset boy in him wanted to tell her to forget about it, it didn’t matter. She never wanted to listen to him before. But the other part of him wanted her to listen. Wanted to finally be heard. The other part of him wanted his mother.

She reached out, brushing her hands through his hair and cupped his cheek. There was a sad smile on her face. “We’ve been so foolish. Hurt you so much. That was never our intention. We failed you, and I’m so sorry, my son.”

“It’s-It’s okay,” he croaked.

“It’s not. I’ve hated how strained our relationship has gotten, but I never knew how to fix it. But I think now I understand. Maybe it can be fixed, if you want it as well. I am aware that it’ll take time, of course. The mistakes of over ten years won’t be fixed in just a few days…”

“It’s a beginning,” he said, feeling weak. What was going on today? How could this be that within hours, problems he had for months or years just seemed to resolve? Well, not completely, but it would really be a beginning.

What kind of sorcery was this? How had Zhongli convinced his family that he really had fallen into the abyss and had made them realize how badly they had fucked up all these years? And now they wanted to make amends. His mother wanted to know what happened all these years ago. It left him feeling weak and happy at the same time.

“Thank you,” she said gently. “For giving us another chance. We will do our best to use it well.”

A little while later, all of them stood outside the house with the first boxes filled with things. Zhongli had put the portal in their front yard and was busy giving one after the other a geo sigil, so they would be able to enter.

The portal moved, and out came Guizhong, gasping loudly. “OH FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!”  She wrapped her arms around herself, only wearing her thin silk robe.

“Hang on!” Ajax quickly stepped into their hallway, taking one of his mother’s spare coats and handing it to her. “Here, I told you it’s cold here!”

“Ajax! So good to see you again!” The goddess grinned, taking the coat and wrapping it around herself, even if it was a little bit big on her. “Much better, thank you so much.”

She looked around with interest, letting her gaze wander over her surroundings and then over his family. “I’ve never seen so many redheads.”

The snezhnayan laughed. “Did you ever see one before me?”

“No, so I’m not wrong. Never seen that many.” She grinned, gently nudging him with her elbow. “Do you have another coat? Lian will surely be here in a moment, too. We’ll help carry the lighter things, since we’re not that strong…”

“Sure, sure. One of my little sisters coats would probably fit her…” He walked back, getting Tonia’s spare coat, and just as he stepped outside again, the qilin woman came through.

He hurried to the portal, handing her the coat. “Oh, Ajax! Ah, thank you so much, how sweet of you!” She happily took the coat and put it on, looking around just as curiously as Guizhong had.

Zhongli stood in front of the portal, looking at Ajax’ whole family. He took a deep breath, his commanding presence making everyone pay attention to him. It made Ajax’ heart beat faster, seeing him like this. A tiny glimpse of the leader Rex Lapis.

“Alright, everyone has their sigils. Now everyone should be able to talk to each other, and you can just enter and leave the realm again. As I said, when you leave the portal on the other side, there’s a shed where you can store anything that you don’t immediately need. Everything you wish to take to the house, you can take there. Best to place it by the front door, under the roof. Then we can carry it all inside later.

Next to the shed will also be lots of crates, boxes, baskets… Take as many as you need, I can always create more. The four of us will also take small groups into the house on after another, to show you around and so you can pick the guest rooms. I made it so once you made your pick, the name of the person will appear on the door. So you know which rooms are already taken.

It’s just past noon, so everyone just had lunch, but towards the evening we’ll go and get some food from a restaurant in Liyue and put that into the kitchen. So everyone can go and eat when they want and then keep moving things for as long as you’re able to, go to bed when you feel tired.

If someone needs help with heavy things, call for me. If someone feels overwhelmed or has too many things to move, say something. So we can divide the help as best as possible and make sure everyone has everything they need. Time is of the essence, so we need to work efficiently.”

There was nodding all around, then everyone hurried to get into the portal, disappearing from view. Tonia, Anton and Teucer looked back at him before going, so he shot them a smile and a thumbs up. Grinning excitedly, the three of them walked through the portal too.

Zhongli came over to where the three of them were standing. “Everything alright? You look like there’s something on your mind.”

“Just blown away by how you managed all of this. I’m absolutely overwhelmed. Don’t- don’t worry if I’m having a breakdown by the time we go to bed, today has been a bit much for my poor heart, I’m not used to feeling so many things.”

The god smiled at him gently. “Of course, don’t worry about that. I’ll be there to ground you if that happens.”

Ajax felt the butterflies in his stomach again. This man. Just what had he done to deserve him? To be loved so wholly and being shown this love so freely. It was an incredible feeling. Who could blame him for being head over heels for him? For being so in love, that even the goddess of love herself had never seen anything like it.

Guizhong gently patted his shoulder. “Everything will be alright. Especially seeing as your family wants to move!”

Lian smiled at him too, picking up one of the baskets standing on the ground next to Ajax. She lifted it a little, testing the weight, then seemingly satisfied she lifted it all the way up. “Exactly. We’ll just have this move to get over with, and then things will settle and calm down.”

Guizhong picked up another basket and Zhongli hoisted up a large wooden box. “Exactly. It’ll be a bit stressful, but then it’ll all get better. Then we can just relax for a few days while your family settles in, do some sight-seeing with them maybe,” the god said with a hum.

“And I’ll use my dumbbell on them so that they’ll be able to speak liyuen. Then it’ll all be a lot easier for them too!” Guizhong grinned. “They’ll feel at home in Liyue in no time.”

“I hope so. My mother also said that she hopes that we can all mend our relationship. She-she wants to talk to me, properly. Wants to hear what happened back then. Whatever Zhongli told them, it seems to finally made them realize that I really said the truth,” Ajax said, a little wobbly.

“See, told you not everything is lost,” Lian said, looking at him gently. There was just something incredibly calming about her, just like Zhongli. Was this typical for qilin, and he had inherited it from his mother?

Zhongli just shrugged. “I just told them that it is a real place. One even I am terrified of, and that the fact that you survived such impossible odds is a show of your remarkable adaptability and skill. And they seemed to take my word for it. I guess having it confirmed by an outside party was good enough for them.”

Ajax really, really wanted to kiss him. But they were all holding things, and should all start to hurry up now to get everything moved. Maybe the opportunity would arise to steal a kiss in a little bit. And if not… He’d have all the time in the world to kiss him after this.

He stepped through the portal, into the familiar surroundings of the realm. Immediately, he felt much better. His family were placing things in the shed, gathering boxes and crates. Tonia, Anton and Teucer stood next to the entrance door of the house, placing their things down under the roof there. He hurried up the steps, putting his box down as well.

“Big brother!” “Big brother!” Immediately, the boys crashed into him, almost sending him falling down if there hadn’t been a strong hand on his shoulder keeping him up. He looked up, seeing Zhongli’s golden gaze, and with a soft chuckle he held him stable for a moment.

“Careful boys, you don’t want to give him a concussion, do you?” He said, shaking his head.

“Sorry!” Anton said quickly, pulling Teucer away a little bit.

“Thank you, Zhongli.” Ajax squatted down, motioning the boys over for a tight hug.

“It’s nothing,” he said with a smile, before walking down the stairs again.

The boys hugged him, looking completely excited and hyper. “Your boyfriend is so cool,” Teucer whispered in awe.

The ex fatuus laughed softly. “He is, isn’t he?”

They went back and forth between Snezhnaya and the realm for hours. Zhongli worked the hardest of everyone, carrying things by himself that no normal human would be able to. Seeing him carry the large wooden carved wardrobe of his parents all by himself absolutely didn’t make him feel faint. He was fine.

In the later afternoon, Guizhong took his parents and grandparents to pick their guest rooms and show them around the house. Once they were done, Lian did a second round with his older siblings. When they were done, Ajax gathered his little siblings and entered the palace with them.

Ajax smiled, seeing them look around with wonder as he took them from room to room, just like Zhongli had done with him a little while ago. It hadn’t been long, but it felt longer. It felt like he had been at home here for longer than he had. How strange, but not unpleasant.

When they got to the hallway with the guest rooms, he noticed that there was now a second hallway splitting from the first one in an L-shape. So that’s how Zhongli had added more rooms. The first few doors in the new hallway had names on them, but soon there was an empty one.

They entered the door and it was just as generous as the other rooms. A large bed with two bedside tables next to it, beautiful jade green silk bedding and a lighter green carpet. The whole room was kept in shades of green and gold and dark wood. There was a large wardrobe and a vanity, as well as a dresser. A door to the side that lead to a bathroom. A large window that looked out towards the front yard, framed by jade green curtains with golden ropes holding them together.

“We can just look at all the rooms first and then you can make your pick,” Ajax assured, as they exited to go see the next room.

The one after that looked similar to the green room before, but instead it was shades of purple and gold. Tonia gasped softly when she walked inside, looking around the room. The lilac bedsheets caught her eye and as she looked over to the bedside table, she noticed small candle holders made from amethyst.

“How pretty,” she whispered. “Can I have this one? Please?”

“Of course. I knew you’d want this one the second we stepped in, purple has always been your favourite color after all.” Ajax said, smiling.

“Thank you!” She said, hugging him. He hugged her back, lingering a little. It had been so long since he saw his little princess. Too long. And it wouldn’t be that long anymore until she would be an adult. But now he would get to see her as much as he wanted to. He still couldn’t believe it.

“Can we go see the next one?” Teucer asked, impatient.

“Sure, sure,” he said, and as they exited the room, there was “Tonia” carved into the door.

The next empty room was kept in shades of red and gold. “Look, Teucer. You like red, don’t you?” He asked. At least it had been his youngest brother’s favourite color a year ago. But at that age, things could change quickly.

Luckily, Teucer nodded, almost vibrating with excitement. “I do! Can I have this one?”

“Of course.”

With a happy grin, Teucer marched towards the door. “Now we need one for Anton, too!”

“I hope there’s a blue one… If not, I’ll take the green…” The older boy mused, walking after his brother.

Sure enough, the next room was kept in hues of bright blues and silver. The layout was the same as the other two, again just some decorative items that were different. On the dresser, there was a large piece of noctilucous  jade.

“I want this one!”

“Perfect, then we’re all settled. Now come, we have to go back to packing.” Ajax said, herding the children back to the hallway. As he was about to leave the house with them, Zhongli walked in, alone.

Ajax looked at his three siblings. “Go ahead and help with packing, yeah?”

“Okay!”

And that quick, the three of them were gone. Before he could utter a word, there was a gentle push against his shoulder, he felt the wall in his back and lips on his own.

He gasped softly, winding his arms around Zhongli’s shoulders, melting into him. Kissing the god was definitely addicting, he decided.

“I couldn’t resist. I’m sorry, my love,” the brunette murmured lowly against his jaw.

“You don’t hear me complaining, I’ve wanted to kiss you ever since we started moving the boxes,” Ajax replied, laughing breathily.

“Good. Good,” Zhongli laughed, kissing him again, putting his hands onto Ajax’ waist.

He did hear the door open, but he couldn’t quite care, because he was kissing Zhongli and it was so damn perfect, and his family knew that Zhongli was his boyfriend, so they shouldn’t think it was scandalous for them to kiss…

But he heard a gasp. And then another.

Zhongli pulled away from him, and when he opened one of his eyes, both Guizhong and Lian were gaping at them.

He felt his heart sink.

He hadn’t quite thought about what the two of them might think of this new development. Especially Lian. After all, she was Zhongli’s mother. And sure, she had thought they were a couple right after she woke up. But that didn’t mean she approved of him as Zhongli’s one.

If she didn’t want him to be his partner, it would make things difficult for Zhongli. And he didn’t want that. He didn’t want him to have to chose between him and his mother. If that would be the case, he would just give up, even if he wanted Zhongli desperately, but he couldn’t take his mother from him…

“How did that happen?” Guizhong asked, looking at them shocked.

Ajax ducked his head. “Just a few hours ago, before we went to see my family.  It’s- It’s…”

“The cryo archon is also the goddess of love. She called Ajax out because of his feelings for me, while I was hidden in his scarf.” Zhongli added.

“As much as I dislike that woman from what I’ve heard about her, but thank Tsaritsa!” She said exasperated. “Finally, I was about to lock you two in a room!”

Lian laughed next to her. “You two were both sweet and painful to watch.”

Ajax blinked at them, needing a moment to process. “You-you knew?”

“I mean I knew you’re Zhongli’s one, he just swore me not to tell you.” Guizhong shrugged. “You owe me, I had to listen to him swoon about you.”

The ginger’s heart was beating faster at her words. Zhongli had swooned about him to her?

“You remember us whispering when we were eating after I woke up? Guizhong told me then.” Lian added.

“She found some kind of loophole,” Zhongli accused, glaring at her. But because he was smiling at the same time, it had no bite.

“Duh. Your wording. Next time pay more attention to that, god of contracts.” The goddess said, grinning triumphantly. “But thank that woman, I couldn’t have taken your damn pining much longer. It was so obvious! But no, Zhongli was convinced you aren’t in love with him. While you’ve had the most lovesick look on your face while looking at him! And he when he looked at you, both of you look just the same!”

“Is-Is that alright with you?” Ajax asked, looking at Lian carefully. She didn’t seem displeased, but maybe she was just as good as hiding her negative emotions as her son was.

“Huh? Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I just wanted to make sure. I mean I’m certainly not what someone imagines as their sons partner…”

He could feel Zhongli put his hand on his back, gently caressing. “You’re perfect,” he whispered, making him feel warm.

Lian stepped closer, motioning him to bend down a little. He did, even if he was confused. Then, he felt a gentle press, like the last time she had – kissed his hair, he realized. She’d just done it again.

She stepped back and smiled. “As if I wouldn’t be fine with you. I couldn’t ask for someone better for him. It’s clear as day that you love him with your whole heart. You are such a sweet and kind boy, and you make him so happy. I’ve pretty much adopted you the second I woke up, if you haven’t noticed.”

He felt his cheeks get warm, probably getting red too. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.”

“And to me it means a lot to see Morax happy. I think you two are a wonderful match, just from how I’ve gotten to know you and the way I saw you two with each other. I am so happy that you’ve finally got it figured out. We’ll have to celebrate that, once we’re done with moving your family to Liyue.”

“Oh agree, we definitely have to. Katya is going to scream when she hears, she was rooting for you too!” Guizhong said cheerily.

“Add the director in, too, she was convinced we’ve been dating for months,” Zhongli added with a laugh.

“The more the merrier, no?” Lian hummed.

“Yeah, the more the merrier.” Ajax said, feeling overwhelmed with happiness again. This day was a complete rollercoaster, but he didn’t think he ever had a better day in his life. The end of the harbinger Tartaglia. And the beginning of the rest of the life of Ajax Ivanov. With the man that he loved, friends and family by his side.

Chapter Text

The rest of the day went by in a blur for Ajax. They moved more things from Snezhnaya to the realm, then in the early evening he went to Liyue Harbour with Lian and Guizhong to fetch a large amount of takeaway food. To not overwhelm one single restaurant, they split up: Ajax went to Wanmin, Guizhong to Liuli Pavilion and Lian to Xinyue Kiosk.

Like this they brought back golden shrimp balls, fullmoon eggs, stir-fried fish noodles, tianshu meat, stone harbour delicacies, noodles with mountain delicacies, chicken-mushroom skewers, mora meat, rice buns, dragon beard noodles and mint salad.

They brought everything back to the realm via the entrance in Zhongli’s apartment and placed it in the kitchen, so everyone could come and serve themselves when they were hungry and go back to work again.

Ajax was one of the last people to eat, quickly shoving down a few pieces of mora meat and some dragon beard noodles; Zhongli sat next to him eating noodles with mountain delicacies and a few golden shrimp balls.

After that, they went back to move some more things, until close to midnight they called it a day as well. As soon as they stepped into Zhongli’s bedroom, the god moved to the small cabinet and started preparing the oil mixture for Ajax.

He smiled softly. “I didn’t even say that I’m in pain.”

“You didn’t have to. I assumed you surely would be, and if not yet then certainly tomorrow. Better be safe than sorry,” the brunette hummed, mixing the oils with the wooden stick.

Taking his sweater off felt different this time. He had gotten a little used to Zhongli seeing him shirtless, but now it was different again. Because now they were boyfriends. In a way, it made it even more terrifying, because he wanted to be beautiful for Zhongli. But he already was, wasn’t he? Zhongli had told him, after all. Even if it was hard for him to believe.

Zhongli came over to him, fingers brushing over his collarbone, making him shiver. As always, his golden gaze was warm, full of love. Then, he bent forward, Ajax was wondering what was up with that until – Zhongli kissed the top of his shoulder. Right at the joint. Then slowly followed the trail of freckles, laying down one tender kiss after another, until he reached the bend of his neck. More kisses up his neck, making his breath hitch, until a final one was pressed just a little below and behind his ear.

“You’re gorgeous,” the god whispered against his skin, lingering for a moment.

Ajax swallowed, feeling overwhelmed with love for this man. And overwhelmed with the feeling of being loved. It made him remember what the other man had said just a while ago when Ajax had apologized for his appearance.

You deserve someone who sees you like that. Divine beauty, marked by the envy of prideful gods.

So that’s what that was like? Having someone who saw him like that? Who saw him as beautiful, even if he didn’t think so himself?

“Too much?” came the careful question, right next to his ear.

“No,” he assured, reaching out to let his left hand come to rest against Zhongli’s side. “You’ll never be too much. It just feels like a dream. I’m not used to getting what I wish for, and now I got everything I ever wanted and more in one single day.”

Another kiss pressed behind his ear. “You deserve it. You deserve everything, and I will give everything in my power to make you happy.”

“I wish I could say the same, but that’s a vast difference in power. The best I can do will probably be less than you lifting your little finger,” the ginger said, laughing softly.

A soft rumble, deep and satisfied. “Doesn’t mean that won’t be everything I ever wanted. You cannot possibly understand just how much I want you by my side. I spent thousands of years thinking that I am not able to love. That what I’ve done eradicated that ability, if I’ve ever had it to begin with. And when I met you, all I could think of was you. You occupied my every thought. Half of the time you caught me spacing out was because I was thinking about you.”

Ajax felt his face heat up. Zhongli pressed another kiss to his shoulder, then straightened his back again. He looked pleased when he could see the blush on the gingers face, then reached for the bowl and started applying the oil.

“You cannot imagine how it felt when I realized that I am in love with you. Knowing that I am able to feel something this beautiful and pure, after everything I’ve done. And I was excited. I had seen my parents when I was a child, who were deeply in love with each other. I had always wished for something like that, but from the time of the archon war onwards, I didn’t think I would ever get to experience that.”

Zhongli hummed, massaging the oil into the skin carefully. “And then to hear what Saleos said… Just how deep do your feelings for me have to be for her to say something like that, I wonder. But I can’t help feeling very pleased about it. It was hard to keep hiding, and even harder not to immediately kiss you once we got to Morepesok.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Ah, I’m afraid I was too worried about my lack of experience, especially since I thought you probably already had some. And I didn’t want to overwhelm you, I wasn’t sure if it would be welcome. Seeing as I’m not the best at judging how things stand between us, if we consider my embarrassing assumption of the past few months” the god said, looking at him a little shy.

Ajax chuckled softly. “I wouldn’t have minded. But imagine. I knew from the first moment that being in love with someone from Liyue could be a problem. Even more so once I knew who you really are. From that moment on I knew that the next time I would see her, my feelings for you would probably cost me my life. I spent months anxiously waiting for her to call me back to Snezhnaya, even before the investigation started.”

“That’s why you were so calm when Katya told you about it.” Zhongli moved to the back, keeping on working the oil into his skin with the utmost care.

“Exactly. I knew one way or another, I might die soon for these feelings. And I could have closed off my heart again, or travel into a different nation, or just stay away from you and hope she would believe me when I tell her that I am still her loyal vanguard.

But it’s not true. If I had to make a choice between her and you, I would always choose you. I was ready to give up everything, my whole life’s work, because I love you. And I was ready to do that without knowing you feel the same.”

Another soft rumble from behind him. “We are quite the pair, aren’t we? One ready to go against his own goddess, the other ready to flatten an entire nation.”

Ajax laughed. “We are. But maybe that’s good, no? Maybe that means we fit together well.”

“Yes, maybe. The universe aligned just right for us two to meet, after all. Any tiny little difference in our lives, and we might have never met at all.”

Zhongli kept going, as always making sure that he put a generous amount of oil and also applying it a bit further than necessary. As he was wiping his hands clean on a towel, Ajax turned around and looked at him with a serious look.

“I-I need to tell you something. I did something that I maybe shouldn’t have…”

“What is it?”

The ginger slid his hand into the pocket of his jacket that laid on the bed, then held it out to Zhongli, presenting him with the proof of his crime.

He thought Zhongli would probably get upset, considering he had just created more problems for him. But instead, he laughed.

“You stole the gnoses from her?”

“I-I did. I just took them, I was so mad, I wasn’t thinking… I didn’t feel like she deserved to have them, especially not yours… But in hindsight, that’s going to cause massive problems, isn’t it?”

Zhongli made an unimpressed face and shrugged. “It might cause her to come here and lash out. But I was ready to fight her without a gnosis. Do you really think I am worried about her when I have it?”

“What, you think you can just… make her leave, if she does show up?” Ajax asked, looking at him perplexed.

“She’s in for a bad time if she doesn’t. There is nothing in our contract that forbids me from coming into possession of my gnosis through a third party again. So technically, she can do nothing, as I haven’t broken our contract. If she attacks Liyue, that’d be a break of the contract on her side…” The god mused. “And you know what happens if you beak a contract in Liyue.”

“The wrath of the rock.”

“Exactly,” he said with a powerful grin, making Ajax feel weak. “Only a fool would do this, but she might just be one. We will see what she choses to do. And until then, we’ll wait with giving back the anemo gnosis. She won’t try to go after that if she’s had trouble with me.”

Zhongli took the anemo gnosis and unceremoniously tossed it onto the bed next to them. Then he took Ajax’ closed hand that was still holding onto the geo gnosis and slowly moved it towards his chest until his fist laid against the gods chest.

“Open your hand,” the brunette murmured softly, thumb caressing his knuckles.

When he carefully opened his fingers, he could feel how the chess piece slowly slid into the others chest, until his hand laid flat over Zhongli’s heart, with Zhongli’s hand on top of his own.

The moment the gnosis was back where it belonged, Zhongli’s eyes glowed brighter than he’d ever seen it before. If he wasn’t still in his mortal disguise, he felt like the geo patterns on his arms would have done just the same.

“My divine heart, returned by the man my own heart belongs to. Thank you,” the god said softly, sounding almost reverently. His tone made Ajax’ head spin.

“And you think it really won’t be a problem if she does show up?”

“It won’t. I’m ready to do what is necessary. And having my gnosis back means I am back at full power. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.” Zhongli replied easily, his other hand coming up to cradle Ajax’ jaw.

The ginger’s other hand sneaked to the back of the gods neck, pulling him forwards to kiss him softly. He had to make up for eight months, after all. And he just couldn’t get enough of kissing him. How tender and loving it was, warm and soft and precious.

When they parted, Zhongli’s hand brushed through the ginger’s bangs, gently brushing them out of his face. “You and your family will be safe. If Saleos does come to Liyue and decides to cause problems, she will learn why I was considered to be the strongest archon.”

“But wouldn’t that blow your cover? Somehow, I don’t think she’d sneakily come to Liyue and ask around for you. Does she even know what you look like? Or what name you go by now?”

The god laughed. “She saw me once a long time ago. The way I appeared as Rex Lapis. So maybe close enough that she might recognize me, but maybe not. And I’m not sure if she does know about my name. Could be that Signora told her. Maybe not.” He walked over to the wardrobe and took out robes for them.

“So, what if she just shows up in the Harbor yelling for Rex Lapis?” Ajax asked carefully.

“Mh, she doesn’t know that name, I think. Most likely she’d be yelling for Morax. And then she’ll see how mad I am about having my deserved retirement interrupted.” Zhongli hummed, looking at a deep blue robe stitched with silvery thread, making a satisfied noise and handing it to the younger man.

“What, so you’ll just come out of retirement in front of the whole harbor?”

“We’ve talked about this before, about the people maybe finding out who I really am. If it happens, it happens. I’m sure there will be ways to go about my life relatively normally even if they know who I actually am at this point.

But of course, I can understand if that would make you uncomfortable. Considering if people know about our relationship, they would also know that you are in fact the partner of the geo archon… Which might not be something you’d want to be known.”

“What do you mean?”

The god looked to the side, a copper-colored robe in his hand. “Everything I did and do might reflect on you. I don’t want to embarrass you. I don’t want you to feel ashamed.”

“As if that would ever happen. What is there to be ashamed of? Zhongli, you are an incredible man. And I swear by Celestia, I meant what I said about scaling the jade chamber and shouting from it’s roof.

I think you’re not quite realizing that I’m not dating the funeral consultant Zhongli. I’m also dating the geo archon Rex Lapis and the dragon-qilin hybrid adeptus Morax. I’m not in a relationship with who you pretend to be, I’m in a relationship with all of you.

Just like I don’t want you to be in a relationship with Childe. I want Tartaglia and Ajax included, as well. I-I mean I can understand that there’s certain things you’ll never want me to know and all that, I don’t expect you to, you know. Tell me your whole life and everything, I understand that there’s things that aren’t for me. O-Or that I expect you to let me call you by your given name, I understand that it’s something reserved for certain people and that’s completely fine as well…” Ajax rambled on, suddenly worried that he had overstepped.

Maybe Zhongli did see this vastly different. Maybe he wanted to keep his life as an archon and the rest of his identity as separate as possible. Maybe he felt forced to bring them out around Ajax, because he kept creating messes for him to clean up. It suddenly made him feel insecure.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m making a whole mess. I just mean to say that I’m happy with whatever parts of you that you want to show me. However much or little that is, that is entirely your choice. I mean you can just ignore her; I can go and talk to her and apologize. I was the one who stole them, so I should own up to that myself.”

“She’d kill you on the spot.” Zhongli said, unreadable expression on his face.

“I know.” He simply replied. “But your identity would be safe.”

“And Liyue would drown, breaking apart in an earthquake like it has never seen before. I don’t care that much about my identity being revealed, Ajax.” Zhongli sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“It’s not about me being worried about my identity. I just don’t want you to feel bad when it’s all revealed. I don’t want you walking the streets of the harbor feeling embarrassed because people know you’re the boyfriend of someone who killed almost every god in Liyue.”

“You make that sound like that’s something I’m bothered by. You forget that I am an abyss monster. I’m the one who’s worried about people knowing about me being your boyfriend, because I don’t want you to be embarrassed about being with a former fatuus who’s also an abyss monster.”

“I would never be embarrassed about you being special. About being this skilled and powerful. I am a dragon; we are prideful and often we like to show off what is ours. Having you is my greatest pride, my most precious, priceless treasure I could ever acquire. Why would I not want everyone to know that you are mine?

In the olden days, when I still reigned Liyue as an emperor, still lived in the original Tianheng Palace, I would have dressed you up in the finest silks and jewels and would have visited every major settlement with you. Showing my beloved off to my people, for them to praise your beauty and skill.” The god said firmly, golden gaze not once leaving him.

He felt the flutter of the butterflies again. Ajax moved forwards, grasping the gods hands that still held the robe. “And I loved you long before I knew who you truly are, but don’t you think knowing how amazing my partner is doesn’t fill me with just as much pride? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve spent the better part of the last few hours inwardly still absolutely reeling because I can’t believe that you’re mine?

That you want me as much as I want you. That someone as incredible as you wants me? After I spent all this time thinking that I was nowhere near good enough for you, even if you couldn’t only love once? And then I find out that you can only love once and I was actually good enough to be that one?”

“You are. You are everything to me, Ajax,” Zhongli almost whispered. He leaned in until their foreheads were touching, until Ajax could feel his warm breath on his skin.

“And you are to me, so don’t ever think I’m not proud to be yours. Or I’ll go right now and prove it to you, no matter what Ningguang says about me climbing the jade chamber past midnight.”

The god chuckled, moved a little to press their lips together in a sweet kiss. Ajax sighed happily, wrapping his arms around his neck to keep him close. Zhongli’s arms wrapped around his waist, pressing them together.

Ajax hid his face against the other’s neck, enjoying being close to him. He loved him so much, he knew he wanted to spend eternity with this man. He could feel his throat starting to burn and his eyes tearing up, he gasped for breath.

“Everything is alright,” Zhongli murmured, surely noticing that he started shaking. “You are here with me, you are loved more than anything in this world, and you and your family will be safe.”

“I know. I-I guess it’s starting to catch up with me,” Ajax said, voice shaking. It felt so stupid, he’d been fine a few minutes ago.

“The adrenaline might be wearing off. You’ve been functioning all day, and it was an exhausting one. Come on, let us get comfortable in bed so you can relax. Can you get dressed yourself or should I help?”

“Y-Yeah, I can do it,” Ajax said, feeling weak. Zhongli was just perfect. Even if he was a god and strength incarnate, he still was vulnerable and completely fine with others being so as well. It made him feel even more safe around him, knowing he would be there for him, supporting him.

Zhongli smiled at him lovingly, then picked up the bronze robe that had fallen to the floor when he had hugged Ajax. The ginger turned a little bit to get dressed himself, and when he turned around again, he could see the last specks of gold dissipate around Zhongli.

Before he could say or do anything, the god lifted him up in a bridal carry. Ajax could feel the heat shoot into his face rapidly with how the other lifted him like he weighed nothing at all. He was carried over to the bed, then very carefully put down on it, before Zhongli got into it as well.

The brunette scooted over a little, Ajax did the same, until they laid next to each other in the middle of the big bed. Zhongli carefully wrapped them up in the warm, fluffy blankets – he could have sworn that there was now one more blanket than just a day ago. Then, he wrapped his arms around Ajax, pulling him close.

It didn’t take long for Ajax to relax into him, wrapping one of his arms around the others side, letting his hand rest on his back. It was nice, comforting. He burrowed his face against the gods neck enveloped by warmth and the scent of sun warmed earth and rocks.

When the tears started falling, he didn’t feel bad. When they became soft, near silent sobs, he didn’t feel embarrassed. He just held on tighter to Zhongli, feeling the others arms tighten around him as well. Hearing the deep, soothing voice murmur sweet reassurances to him. Letting him cry it out for a while.

“Everything will be alright, my love. You won’t ever be lonely again. Once the issue with Saleos is resolved, you will be able to live happy and surrounded by the people you love. Being loved back just as much as you love them, being loved just like you deserve…”

A hand caressed slowly along his spine, warm and distracting. “We’ll do all the things. Some trips with your family to show them around Liyue. Learning to cook more recipes from each other. We talked about teaching each other traditional dances, too.

And we’ll celebrate all the festivals. Yuletide has started to become more popular in Liyue, I heard it’s been a thing in Snezhnaya for a long time. Though I believe Liyue celebrates it at a different date. We could celebrate. Any other snezhnayan ones you want to, too.”

Ajax sniffled, slowly calming down again, smiling against the gods neck. “That’d be nice. I used to love yuletide so much before I fell into the abyss. I-I feel like I could start loving it again, celebrating with everyone.”

“Then we’ll just have to decide which date we want to use and get everything we need. I’ll trust you and your family will teach us the Snezhnayan traditions.”

“I’d love that. And the children surely would, too. They’ve always been so excited for it. It’d be nice to keep some traditions going here. And also make new ones, especially with the Liyuen holidays. I-I can’t believe this is actually happening… That this really is my life now.”

“It is. And it will be for a long time. Now try to sleep, my love. You’re very exhausted, and we’ll have to get up early again,” the god whispered, kissing the top of his hair.

Ajax whined softly. “What if I wake up and it was all just a dream?”

“I promise you, that won’t happen. You will wake up, and I will adore you just as much as I do now. And we will get ready together, have breakfast, move the remainder of your family’s things and get them all settled in. And then we’ll go to sleep together again, and wake up together again, get ready together and eat breakfast together, and we’ll have a wonderful day and that will repeat over and over again.”

The former fatuus removed himself from the side of Zhongli’s neck, looking at him. “Thank you,” he whispered, moving to give him a little peck on the lips. “Goodnight. I love you.”

Soft, molten gold gazed upon him, setting his heart alight like a freshly lit candle. “Sleep tight, I love you too.”

Chapter Text

When Zhongli woke up, it was still dark outside. They had switched positions while sleeping, so now Ajax laid on his back and the god laid half on top of him, head resting comfortably on his chest. Hearing his soothing heartbeat. Ajax’ fingers were slowly, gently playing with his hair, fingers brushing over his scalp. It made him shiver pleasantly, and he couldn’t hold back a pleased purr.

“Did I wake you up? I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry,” Ajax murmured quietly.

“You didn’t.” Zhongli purred a little louder, moving his head against the others fingers, encouraging him to keep going. It felt far too nice, and Ajax was warm and smelled good. And it was their first morning as a couple, he was allowed to bask in the happiness he felt for just a little while longer, wasn’t he?

He laughed, soft and breathy, the way Zhongli loved it the most. “I thought you’re a lizard, not a cat?”

“Ask my ancestors why we can purr, I don’t know why,” he muttered lazily. “I don’t know much about dragons at all.”

“How come? You are one, your father too. Didn’t he teach you things?”

“He did. But his knowledge was already limited. Mhm… I told you dragons aren’t seen as desirable partners by many. So numbers have been dwindling for a long time already when I was born. So knowledge has been lost over generations, things that were common knowledge maybe twenty thousand years ago were lost by ten thousand years ago. By the time I was born, there was even less.”

“Ah, I understand. How old was your father when you were born?” Ajax asked curiously.

“Hm… ‘bout four thousand I think? Maybe a bit more.” Zhongli mused. Not old at all for dragons, in any case.

Ajax made a surprised noise. “Wait, if you say you’re like 25-28 in human years at your current age, but close to seven thousand years old. Wouldn’t that mean that he was like, still a teenager? That’s only a little more than half of your age, so… 15, 16?”

“No, no. You can’t calculate like that. My father was a full mountain dragon. They age faster in the first few years, so they’ll be ready to face threats faster. Similar to how some newborn animals are able to be independent very young while others are helpless for a longer time. So dragons don’t age linear, it’s more… waves. If that makes sense.” Zhongli said, yawning softly.

“I think I understand? So your father was an adult at a younger age than you are?”

“Mhm. He would have been… Comparatively he would probably have been in his mid twenties. Mama in her early twenties, even though she’s about three thousand years older. But aging slower than him. Qilin normally are big communities where everyone helps each other. The children grow quick until they’re able to walk, once they can do that it slows down more and more. Getting around is important for qilin, because they’re pacifiers… pacifists. I’m very smart this morning, no?” He asked sarcastically, laughing.

His love laughed as well, still so beautiful. He pressed a kiss against the warm skin of his chest right next to his face, exposed by the robe. The fingers in his hair kept going, lightly massaging his scalp.

“So you age differently than both of your parents.”

“Mh, yes. Ganyu ages differently too, because she’s the child of a qilin and a human.” Zhongli said, his right hand brushing over the silk covering Ajax’ chest.

“If you had children with a human, they would age completely different as well, then.”

“Correct. It’s all quite complicated. Even siblings can age slightly differently, if one of them takes more after one parent than the other. If I would have had one, I might have taken more after the dragon aging process, my sibling more after the qilin. Or we could both have been somewhere in the middle. And for most illuminated beasts, aging slows down significantly once you reach adult age or comes to almost a complete halt for several thousand years. I could still look the same when I’m three times my current age. Genetics is fun.”

“Ha, ask my father how fun it is. I’m sure he didn’t expect all of his children to have red hair,” Ajax chuckled. “Probably hoped for a few blonde ones in between.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Zhongli wanted to take it back while he was saying it, oh celestia! What was he thinking? But the combination of still being a little sleepy and the ginger’s warmth and how close they were, and the fingers playing with his hair, it all messed with his head and apparently disturbed his filter.

“Huh? To what?” Ajax asked, confused.

Of course he was. “D-Doesn’t matter, forget about it, my brain isn’t working yet. Brain-to-mouth-filter’s turned off it seems,” the god muttered, embarrassed.

“You already said it, might as well explain it,” the ginger teased. “Oh come on. It can’t have been that bad.”

Zhongli groaned and gave in. Of course he did, he couldn’t deny him anything, could he? He’d give him the moon and the stars in the sky if he ever briefly mentioned wanting them. “Redheaded children.”

“What’s with them?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed to them.” He replied, hoping the other would understand and spare him any further embarrassment.

“Uhm, that’s good? I mean, my younger siblings are redheaded and are children still. Well, Anton and Teucer. Tonia hardly counts as a child…” Ajax mused.

“I didn’t mean your siblings…” the adeptus muttered into his chest, hiding his face.

“I thought red hair is pretty much unheard of in Liyue? So children with red hair running around is hardly a concern anyways, isn’t it?”

Zhongli lifted his head from the snezhnayans chest to look at him. No wonder it had taken them so long to understand they were in love with each other. Ajax could be adorably dense and both of them had been in massive denial. “I meant ours,” he groaned, exasperated.

“O-Ours.” Ajax said, blinking at him owlishly.

“I told you, my brain isn’t that good when I’m still sleepy…” The god said softly, putting his head down again. He didn’t even know why he’d said it. Of course he had thought of it before, but realistically, he knew that he would be no good as a parent.

He had never been scared of his father. He had loved, adored him very much. His death had been devastating for Zhongli. But his father had been a better person than he had ever been. His father wouldn’t have ever had to explain to little Morax that there were many stories about him murdering or sealing almost every god in Liyue. Because his father hadn’t done that, Morax had. And Morax would never be suitable as a parent.

Even if sometimes, he wished for children. Because he had wanted them when he was younger. He used to imagine himself with his one, being in love and raising children. The life his parents had. He used to imagine how happy his parents would be about grandchildren, that they’d all be one happy family.

And then the archon war had come, and taken all of this from him. His father, his mother, that innocent self.

“-li? Zhongli?” Ajax’ voice ripped him from his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“Welcome back. You were spacing out on me.” Ajax said, laughing softly.

“Ah, sorry. It’s nothing important.” Nothing that mattered. He was born as the first mountain dragon-qilin hybrid, and he would always be the first and only. And the last mountain dragon remaining.

“You, uhm, said you meant ours. Does that- does that mean you thought about having children? The two of us? I-I mean you also said that you had proposed to me already, and technically I have accepted…”

“You’ve accepted nothing. You didn’t know. Don’t worry about these things. Though, I guess I can see how it might come across as unsettling and upsetting…” He could feel his throat constricting painfully, his fears welling up inside him.

Too much. He was being way too much way too soon into their relationship. He was going to have him running for the hills rather sooner than later. He had to savor every second that he’d get with Ajax, because he was going to make him leave. Because he was weird. Creepy, maybe even.

“Zhongli- “

“Please, just forget about it. I’m a stupid old lizard. Ridiculous. Nothing more. Please, just don’t listen to me when I let things like this slip. I can make sure I get up earlier in the morning than you, so I won’t say such things as easily. So, by the time you wake up, I’ll be more awake and not just speak whatever’s on my mind.” The god rambled, trying desperately to salvage what he’d broken.

He wouldn’t even be able to keep him for a year. Maybe if they had met when he was younger, he might have been able to be a good partner. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m making you uncomfortable, I’ll just…”

Zhongli didn’t want to get up and away from his love. But it wasn’t about what he wanted. What he wanted didn’t really matter to him. It mattered what Ajax wanted, and he had just put a large dent into their new and fragile relationship. And having him laying on top of him probably made it all just worse for Ajax. So much for enjoying their first morning as a couple, of course he had to ruin it.

“Zhongli, would you listen to me? Please.” Ajax said, sounding calm.

“Too much, I know, I’m sorry.” He said, sitting up to get off the bed, but before he could, he was flipped over onto the mattress. Confused, he blinked up at Ajax, who sat down on his lap and had his hands on his shoulders to keep him down.

“I am not very good at reading people, but I’m pretty sure you’re freaking out and not thinking straight,” the ginger said firmly. “You need to calm down, please. Take a breath. I promise you; everything is alright. I’m not upset, I’m not mad, I’m not thinking you’re being weird or anything, okay? Do you understand?”

Zhongli swallowed, taking a breath and nodded.

“Good. Because there’s no reason to panic. I was just surprised, is all. I just didn’t think you ever thought about something like that, after you said that you don’t think you’ll ever have children because of your past.”

“I-I mean I still think I’d be a terrible parent, that hasn’t changed. It was just… daydreaming, nothing else.” He admitted softly.

“Of little ginger children.”

The god hummed. “I like your hair. In the sun or in candlelight it shines like copper.”

“Little gingers with amber eyes, that’s an interesting combination. Or brown hair and blue eyes, that’d be pretty as well. Would you pass down the amber highlights or is that something only you have due to being a god?”

“I don’t even know, to be honest.”

“Well, we’d see. Imagine, those amber highlights with blue eyes. And they could only be beautiful, considering you’re the most beautiful man in Liyue,” Ajax said, smiling.

“Debatable, someone much more beautiful moved here a few months ago. Some rascal from Snezhnaya who is stupidly attractive and doesn’t seem to realize it himself,” Zhongli teased, feeling himself relax. All was good. He had overreacted.

The ginger laughed softly, moving his hand to brush through the gods bangs. “Okay, they’d be the most beautiful children in the whole of Teyvat, having us as parents. And imagine how excellent they’d be, having us and our families and friends as teachers in anything.

They’d master all weapons, several languages, you’d surely teach them instruments as well. My mother plays Zhaleika, a hornpipe. Tonia plays Gusli, which is a zither and Artyom Dudka, a simple flute. So they could probably teach them too, adding to all the liyuen ones that you can play. We’d have the smartest and most skilled kids,” Ajax said with a grin.

“You make that sound as if you’d thought of that before, not me.”

“I have,” the ginger said easily, shrugging. “Of course I have. You think you were the only one daydreaming about getting the life you’ve always wanted with me? Trust me, I spent enough time thinking about getting it with you, as well. That’s why I said that you’re panicking for nothing. You keep thinking you’ll scare me away, don’t you?”

Zhongli nodded, feeling weak at the way the other looked at him. Full of love and adoration.

“And I told you, that won’t happen. Trust me, I’m terribly obsessed with you. Now that I get to have you, I will never let you go again. Well, except if you want to. I-I guess you only ever loving me doesn’t really mean you’ll never get fed up with me, does it?”

“I can’t imagine that’d ever happen. I’m just as terribly obsessed with you.” The god said, resting his right hand at the side of Ajax’ upper thigh.

A grin flashed over his lips, and the ginger bent over, kissing him tenderly. And again, and again, and again. When they parted, he murmured “Good. I wouldn’t want it differently. And look, we’ve only gotten together. We’ll take it step by step. If you ever change your mind and would like children, then tell me. I’m definitely not against that. But if you never change your mind, that’s fine too. I’m just happy to be with you. And you can speak your mind. You don’t have to be so worried all the time; I promise you.”

Zhongli wrapped his arms around him, enjoying his warmth. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Hey, we’re both new at this. And we both have our insecurities. We just need to keep talking about them, so we can understand each other better. I don’t want you to feel bad because of something that we could have solved by talking.”

“Mhm, same goes for you,” the god murmured. “I want you to tell me too. Anything. Everything you want.”

“Good. Because I love you, Zhongli. And I want you to be happy.”

“I love you too. And want you to be happy.” The god said.

Then, he realized something. He had called Ajax by his given name for a while now. Yet Ajax never called him by his. Maybe Ajax didn’t like it. Maybe he thought it sounded weird. He didn’t have to, of course. Zhongli was as good as anything; at this point he was used to it the same as he was with Morax.

O-Or that I expect you to let me call you by your given name, I understand that it’s something reserved for certain people and that’s completely fine as well…

“What’s going through that pretty head now?” Ajax asked softly.

How was he going to ask about this? “You-you said something. Yesterday. When you talked about that being in a relationship with me means that you’re with all of me, not just Zhongli.”

“Oh.” Ajax blushed a little. “Did I say something stupid?”

“No, no. I just didn’t realize it at the moment, I guess. You said that you don’t expect me to let you call me by my given name, because that’s reserved for certain people.” Zhongli said, carefully. It sounded more like Ajax didn’t think he was permitted to.

“Ah, that… It’s fine, you don’t have to explain yourself or something. You’ve told me that your thoughts on your name are conflicting. I let you call me by my given name because it’s what I want. Because when I thought that I was no longer Ajax, you made me realize I was still him. That the abyss hadn’t taken away as much from me as I thought. Hearing you call me Childe started to feel strange.” Ajax replied, shrugging. “But I never expected you to do the same. Whether as friends or as lovers.”

“But what if I want it?” Zhongli asked, looking up at his beloved. Yes, he had difficult feelings about his past and his name connected with it. But maybe… Maybe this was the right time to turn over a new page. Get a little bit of a fresh start as well. He was finally in love and finally no longer alone.

The snezhnayan looked surprised by his words, blinking down at him with his eyebrows raised. “I-I mean then I’d obviously like that. I just don’t want you feel pressured to, if it’s not something you truly want.”

“I would like that very much, I think. I mean yes, I do have these weird feelings about my past but… I would like it. If you want to. It feels right, and I have thought about it before, what it’d be like to have me call me by my actual name…”

Ajax reached forwards, letting his hand run through the brunettes bangs again, brushing them out of his face with care. “Morax,” he said, soft, reverently. It made his head spin and glad that he was lying down already.

This man would be the death of him. Nothing could have ever prepared him for what it would be like to love him and much less what it would be like to have that love returned to him just as intensely. His heart was beating hard in his chest.

The ginger quirked a smile. “And, how did that feel?”

“Perfect,” he breathed, pulling him down to kiss him. Zhongli was the favourite name that he had picked for himself in his lifetime. Having Ajax say it was beautiful. But hearing him say his real name was slightly better still, he decided.

Ajax laughed softly when they parted, moving over to press a kiss onto his cheek. “Good, I’m glad. It feels special for me, too.”

“Good. Because you are special to me, it’s only right you get to call me something special.”

“Ha, I’m still trying to come up with a pet name. I don’t want to think I’m imitating you…” Ajax admitted.

“Hm?”

“You’re calling me love and beloved, so I can’t use that. But I’ve never liked many other pet names, like honey, baby, sweetheart… They don’t sound fitting for you and they don’t sound half as loving.” He sighed. “I’ll come up with something, someday, I hope. Something that fits.”

The god chuckled, reaching up to caress his cheek. “Just because I call you that, doesn’t mean you can’t. That has nothing to do with imitating.”

“My beloved,” Ajax said lovingly, turning his head to kiss Morax’ palm.

His breath hitched, he moved himself in a sitting position, careful not to make Ajax fall off. The god moved forwards to kiss him again, their chests flush against each other. His free hand moved to the gingers slim waist, fingers running over the silk of the robe, surely being felt under it.

He could feel his boyfriend shiver, sighing pleased. “Hey, can you put the red eyeliner on me again today? I really like wearing it, because you always do…” He admitted softly. “If it doesn’t bother you.”

“As if. My love, wearing the same eyeliner? Practically wearing proof of us belonging together on your face? Right around those gorgeous eyes? How could I say no to that,” he murmured, purring softly.

“Good, because that’s why I like it. Everyone can see that it matches yours…”

Ajax let out an inelegant yelp when the god flipped them over, kissing him like his life depended on it. When he sat up and moved off the bed, the ginger looked at him dazed, face flushed red.

“Well? We should get ready, we only have until about one to bring over all remaining things. The sun should rise soon.” Morax said, looking over his shoulder with a grin. Things were going much better than he ever expected them to, and it made him incredibly happy.

Ajax scrambled up from the bed, still red in the face. “right, right.”

“What do you think, should I use my mortal disguise again? Or would your family not be bothered by my appearance?”

“I don’t think they’d mind. They’re already aware you aren’t human, after all. And my brothers will definitely find it exciting.”

“Good, good.” He hummed. Then he wouldn’t disguise himself.

“And as handsome Zhongli is, I slightly prefer the real you, too.” Ajax said, reaching out to brush along one of his horns.

The god blinked, then felt warmth spread on his cheeks. “Good. Thank you.”

His heart felt full like it never had before. They really were going to have an incredibly happy life together, weren’t they? As long as they kept talking about their worries and insecurities, which so far was going really well.

He couldn’t wait, every day seemed so exciting now.

Chapter Text

The two of them were the first ones in the kitchen. The god hummed, thoughtfully looking around. “They had liyuen food for dinner last night. I was thinking of making something snezhnayan for breakfast, as a surprise and a bit of a comfort, maybe? Or is that a bad idea?”

Ajax smiled, feeling warm at how thoughtful his boyfriend was. “That’s a lovely idea. We could make blini, it’d be easy enough to make that for a lot of people. And still tastes good when they’re cold, for those that get up later.”

Recognition sparked on Zhongli’s – Morax’, he corrected himself. He was allowed to call him that now. Even if it was going to take a while to get used to it – face. “They were delicious. Is that fine for breakfast?”

“Blini are fine any time of day. As a breakfast, lunch, dinner, after drinking midnight snack? Absolutely.” The ginger said, grinning. “And everyone likes them.”

“And we have enough different things here for a variety of tastes. Though you’d probably know best how your family likes to eat them.”

“Ah, they switch that up all the time. But we’ll be good with a mix of everything, like we did last time. Do you want to get started on the batter?” Ajax asked, looking at the other man. Zhongli nodded, taking out the ingredients. Twice, when he walked past the ginger, he moved over to kiss his cheek.

Ajax tried it too, but it was more difficult due to their height difference. The god noticed, laughed and pulled him in for a proper kiss, hands holding him by his waist. Ajax sighed contently into the kiss, hands flat against the muscular chest. One kiss became two, three, four… Until Zhongli pulled away, joyful laughter lighting up his face as he moved back to work on the batter.

He looked amazing, as always. Regal, in the way only he could, even when wearing casual clothes. There was just something about him, the way he carried himself. His hair was pulled back into a fishtail braid, per the gods request.

The curled horns were adorned with a different pair of guards than he usually wore. He had let Ajax pick them, and he’d chosen a golden filigree pair with teardrop shaped rubies dangling from them. Matching beautifully with the red of the feathered earring Ajax had gifted him.

The cream colored knit sweater was soft and comfortable, but also clung to his body just right to accentuate his broad shoulders and slim waist, especially paired with the black pants that made his legs look unfairly long. The simple black leather gloves hid his godly hands, golden rings on his thumb and middle finger on each side.

He looked over at him and smiled. “Everything alright, my love?”

Ajax felt heat shoot into his face, being caught staring. “Sorry, you just – you always look good, but you look really, really good today.”

The god looked surprised. “Thank you. I’m glad you picked those guards, I haven’t worn them in a long time. I hope it was no bother for you.”

“Not at all. It was sweet of you to ask, I liked doing that for you. It’s… it’s nice, getting ready together like that.”

“I like it a lot as well,” he said, reaching out for the snezhnayans hand. He brought it up to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss onto each of the knuckles while looking up at him from under his long, dark lashes. Ajax was glad that he hadn’t yet put on his gloves.

Zhongli – Morax, Ajax reminded himself again – chuckled, then went back to work on the blini batter. Leaving Ajax standing there, heart beating up into his throat and stomach full of butterflies. It took him a moment to catch himself, then he grabbed a few sunsettias and started peeling and thinly slicing them.

A little while later, the door to the kitchen opened carefully. “I thought I heard noises here when I came in…” Katya peeked inside, then moving inside the kitchen and closing the door quietly. “I’m sorry, I meant to come back yesterday, but the others caught wind of what happened and decided to drag me along to the night market to have some fun and take my mind off things. I shouldn’t have went along with them, I’m really sorry!”

“Hey, it’s fine, no problem at all. That’s nice of the others, I’m sure it was a relief. You didn’t miss anything important. Well, nothing unexpected, in any case,” the ginger said, putting the sliced sunsettias in a bowl. “Have you had breakfast already? We’re making blini.”

The woman shook her head softly. “Should I help with something?”

“You can help cut up the toppings, come here,” Ajax took out another chopping board and knife, handing her a large piece of smoked fish. “Quite a lot, we’re a lot more people now.”

“Oh?” She looked surprised but started to slice the fish into thin pieces.

“Well, things are as we expected them. We’re both kicked out of the fatui and exiled. Zhongli managed to convince my family to move, we’re currently working on getting all their things here. They’re still asleep, but we have until about one in the afternoon to get everything over here.”

Katya grimaced. “And I didn’t come back, I could have helped.”

“It’s no problem at all. Guizhong and Lian have helped too, and the whole family is at it. And Zhongli is stronger than an ox, you should have seen him. Carried the huge wooden wardrobe of my parents on one shoulder, all by himself. Quite the sight.” Ajax said, still impressed. He knew that he was physically strong but there was a difference between just knowing and seeing it.

Zhongli chuckled, whisking the batter together. “Well, there’s about six more of those, so it seems you’re getting lucky today.”

Oh gods, Ajax knew by how warm his cheeks felt, that he was definitely blushing. To make matters worse, he choked on his own saliva, making him cough pathetically.

Both Katya and Zhongli were laughing at him, though the god was gently putting his hand on his back, rubbing between his shoulders. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. ‘m fine.” Just choking on my own spit because I’m ridiculously in love with you.

He seemed satisfied with the answer, and went back to the batter, looking amused. He remembered how it wasn’t that long ago that he’d wondered if he’d ever get to see Zhongli openly showing his emotions. It made him happy to see him like this, unrestrained and relaxed.

Katya gave him an exasperated look, trying to hide a grin and shook her head softly. Ah, right.

“Ah. Uhm. Just, so you know. Because everyone else does at this point and pretty sure Guizhong and Lian were serious about throwing a party… We, uhm, are together. Like, together-together. Since yesterday.” He explained awkwardly, hand gesturing between Zhongli and him.

She looked at him wide-eyed. “Seriously? You finally got your shit together and confessed? Or was it Zhongli?”

The god was chuckling, starting to cook the first batch of blini. He quickly looked at Ajax, gaze fond and loving, making his heart beat faster.

“Technically neither,” he admitted. “The Tsaritsa revealed my feelings while Zhongli was hidden in my scarf. Talking about how she can’t be sure of my loyalty when I am that massively in love with another archon. You can imagine how absolutely embarrassed I was, when we teleported to Morepesok, I tried to… You know. Explain myself, apologize… But then he told me he feels the same. So… yeah. That’s nice.”

Katya gently bumped their shoulders together, grinning. “That’s great. You two are good for each other. I’m very happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

Zhongli piled the blini on a serving platter, a sizeable amount already on it. They’d each taken one at some point to “taste test” and make sure they were good. Which wouldn’t have been necessary at all, Ajax had seen how Zhongli had made the batter, had seen how much care he put into it. But it was something he had always done when making them at home, even when it had been his mother making them. And so, when he’d sneaked one from the platter, the other two followed suit.

The door to the kitchen opened, Tonia and the two boys entering, looking wide awake already. They all said “good morning” to each other, the boys running up to hug Ajax, Tonia doing the same after them.

“This is Katya, she was my secretary. She – she helped me sell all the toys here in Liyue. Katya, that’s my little sister Tonia, and my brothers, Anton and Teucer.” He looked at her, hoping she would play along. She did know about the lie he had told his two youngest siblings, after all.

“It’s so nice to finally meet all of you, I heard so much about you from your big brother!” She said cheerily, and he knew her well enough to know that she was honest, she really was excited to meet them.

Anton and Teucer distractedly stared at Zhongli, mouths open. Tonia noticed them, shifting her attention as well, gasping softly. “Oh, how pretty,” she whispered under her breath.

“He is, isn’t he?” Ajax said softly, feeling proud. His beautiful boyfriend.

“But he didn’t have horns yesterday! And he wasn’t that tall either,” Teucer said, looking curious.

The god elegantly squatted down in front of them, to be more face to face with them. “Remember what I told you yesterday? About what I am?” He asked, voice gentle and warm. Just how he always talked to Ajax.

“That you aren’t really a human but actually an illi-illu-illumanited beast?” Teucer replied.

“An illuminated beast, yes,” Zhongli replied, slower for the young boy. “The way I looked yesterday is what I make myself look like when I go out, so people don’t know. It’s a bit of a secret, I don’t want everyone to always know who I am.”

“You must be an important person then,” Anton decided. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep your secret, right Teucer?”

The younger boy nodded fervently, still looking up at the horns.

“You can touch them if you want to, it’s fine.” Zhongli encouraged, bowing his head a little. “They’re not scary, are they? If they are, I can hide them again.”

Teucer shook his head, carefully reaching out to brush along one of the horns, Anton doing the same at the other. “How cool,” the older boy whispered.

“I wish I could grow horns, too,” Teucer said, regretful. “Are they pointy?”

“They are, that’s why I’m wearing these guards. So I don’t accidentally stick them into something,” the brunette explained, reaching up to take one of them off to show the pointed end.

“Oooh,” the boys said in unison, impressed.

The door opened again, this time it was their parents coming inside. The boys immediately stormed to them, wishing them a good morning. Tonia stood by Ajax’ side, laughing softly at how energetic they were this early in the morning.

The brunette stood up from his squatting position, putting the guard back on. A warm smile on his lips as he went back to check on the blini. Ajax couldn’t help but feel happy at how sweet he was to his little siblings, how gentle and careful. Showing them just as much care as he did with Ajax. And the man said he wasn’t good with children.

He definitely couldn’t agree, his little siblings seemed to adore the man already, even if they’d known him for less than a day. They were absolutely enchanted by him. Who could blame them, he was as well, after all.

“Mama, mama! Look! Zhongli’s horns are so cool, aren’t they? I wish I had horns like that!” Teucer jumped excitedly, pulling at their mothers sleeve. “He hides them, so people think he’s a normal human when he isn’t!”

She looked over at the god, looking a bit surprised, but then nodded. “Oh, yes, they really are. How special!”

His father nodded along, blinking a few times, quite lost. Probably wondering just what kind of man his son was dating.

“Zhongli, how do you hide them?” Anton asked, curious.

“With magic,” the man replied, flipping the blini. “I can make myself look however I want to. But this is what I really look like. Hm, well not completely. I actually have a tail, but that’s not comfortable with the pants. I only keep that when I’m wearing a traditional robe.”

“But why don’t your horns look like the one Lian has? You said she’s your mama, so shouldn’t they be the same?” Teucer piped up, brows knitted into a thoughtful frown.

Zhongli nodded. “That’s a good question! You see, your mama has red hair, and your papa has blonde, right? But you children all have red hair, like your mama. My baba, that’s what we call our papa here in Liyue, had the same horns like I do. I got them from him, not from my mama.”

“He… had… them? Did your papa die?”

Ajax was about to step in, telling Teucer not to ask questions like that, because it could be hurtful for people. But before he could even open his mouth, Zhongli looked at the young boy and nodded. “He did. A long time ago. Villages were attacked by strong gods and monsters, and my baba wanted to protect them. He did what he could, and kept them safe, but he was injured very badly.”

“So he was a hero then! Like in the fairytales. Fighting against the bad guys to keep people safe.” The boy decided, looking determined. “Your papa must have been super cool!”

There was a light grin on the gods lips as he put the blini on the serving plater and added new dollops of batter to the pan. “He was. He taught me many things. To this day, when I have to fight, I do it with a polearm. Because it was his favourite weapon, and he taught me how to fight with it. And because of what he did, I swore that I wouldn’t let his sacrifice be wasted.”

“So you’re a really strong guy too, Zhongli?” Anton asked, climbing up on one of the bar stools at the counter, helping Teucer up on one as well.

The god hummed. “I’d say so.”

“Stronger than the Tsaritsa?”  He kept going.

Their parents were chuckling to the side. “He did say that she doesn’t want to argue with him, but her majesty is quite strong,” their father said gently.

“I can’t exactly say how strong she is,” Zhongli said, shaking his head. “But it’s not something I waste my time thinking about.”

“Because she would beat you?” Anton grinned.

The brunette huffed a laugh, tapping the spatula he was holding against the rim of the pan, almost chiding the boy but without any malice. “Young Anton, I would be surprised if she stood ten minutes against me. Depending on how serious I am being at the moment.”

“Ten minutes?” Tonia raised her eyebrows. “Just how strong are you?”

“Well, nobody needs to worry about anything in my presence. You’re all safe, and I will let nothing in this world harm as much as a single hair of yours,” he said with a gentle but powerful smile.

“Ah well, her majesty has no reason to come here, so we won’t ever have to worry about that,” his father said, clearly a little bit intimidated.

What he didn’t know yet, was that there was indeed a reason. Two reasons. One of them hidden away in the god’s chest, the other in the drawer of his bedside table. He couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t come for them, and it would just be a matter of time until she would realize the loss.

“And if she has, she will be swiftly dealt with,” Zhongli said easily, putting the last blini on the serving platter.

They started to set the table in the dining room, slowly but surely the other people in the house started to trickle in. First Guizhong, then soon after her Artyom and Maya, followed by Irina and Alexei, then Lian, then his grandparents and his grandmother and shortly after was Yulia. So in the end, they were all able to sit together for breakfast.

Ajax remembered how their family would often brunch together on Sundays. He doesn’t know when the last time was that he participated, it had been years. It wasn’t that he wasn’t allowed to or that they left him out. And he was visiting home on the weekends sometimes.

No, for years he had excluded himself. Woke up early and went out, insisting on chopping wood for hours without break or go fish for his family. Anything. Because he used to feel like he would ruin everyone’s mood if he was there. Well, save for his younger siblings’.

Sunday brunch was special, and a tradition that he held dear in his heart. And exactly because he did, he didn’t want to ruin it for the others. So if he showed up at all, he’d just drink a quick coffee and eat a piece of bread, then go and do whatever he was busying himself with again.

Even eating lunch or dinner with just his immediate family had often felt wrong. The wolf dining with the sheep. Just that the sheep didn’t know he was a wolf, they just felt unsettled by him. Had this not even been true?

Had he always interpreted it as them being scared of him when all they were was unsure about how to talk to him? Had it all just been awkward, nothing more sinister? In a way, he wanted answers, as soon as possible. He wanted to know how different their perspectives had been all these years.

What would they say if he told them the truth? Told them what really happened to him, like he’d wanted to since the day he clawed his way out of the abyss. What would they think about him if they knew what he had do to survive and how he had died over and over again? And what of his foul legacy?

“My love, the blin isn’t going to wander into your mouth by itself,” Zhongli said softly next to him. Tip of his gloved finger gently nudging the hand hovering before Ajax’ mouth.

“Huh?”

“You’ve had your hand in front of you like that for a little bit. You’ve been spacing out,” the god explained. “You should eat, you’ll need the strength.”

“R-Right!” He quickly said, eating his blin. He really sat there like an idiot, lost in thought.

“Dang, they’ve been together for barely a day and he’s already raising my standards for a future boyfriend,” Irina muttered, nudging Yulia next to her.

Yulia chuckled. “Well, he seems very caring, I wouldn’t mind a partner like that.”

“Get your own, this one is mine,” Ajax grumbled, but without any malice.

Zhongli’s hand came to rest on his thigh under the table, lightly squeezing. “Mhm, I am yours. And I shall be until my last breath.”

“If you’re not fed up with me in a few years.”

“Never. I will still be just as ecstatic about being with you even when I’m twice my age,” the adeptus said, taking a sip of his tea.

“He still hasn’t told us his age,” Irina laughed. “Can’t you tell us, Ajax?”

“You may guess, if you want to.” Zhongli said with a shrug, looking amused. “Though I’d be surprised if anyone guesses it right.”

“Maybe you’re the same age as big brother?” Teucer guessed, innocently.

“Ah, you may guess again. I am older than your brother, but you and Anton didn’t know, you were outside when I said that. I am quite old, older than I look. So your guess doesn’t count,” Zhongli said good-naturedly, wanting to keep things fair, as expected of the god of contracts.

“Ahm… as old as Artyom?” Teucer guessed again. He was only six years old after all, he’d barely started school a few months ago, so he didn’t know too many numbers yet.

“Hm, maybe fourty? You don’t look that old, but you said you’re older than you look…” Anton mused.

Their mother laughed. “You see that as quite old? Then I must be old to you.”

“Mama isn’t old!” Teucer piped up, nudging his older brother.

“Can we ask things to get closer to the actual age? Like Yes/No questions?” Yulia asked, humming. “Because I feel that’s impossible else.”

“I’m fine with that,” Zhongli said, taking another sip of his tea. “Three people aren’t allowed to play anyways, considering Ajax, Guizhong and mama know my exact age.”

Artyom huffed. “Even with Yes/No questions it might still be difficult… Is your age over a hundred years?”

The god chuckled. “Oh yes.” He took two more blini, topping them with some of the sliced fish and pickled radish.

“Are you older than the Tsaritsa? Though I don’t know her exact age…” Irina asked, looking like she was trying to desperately remember what they were told in school.

“I don’t know her exact age either, but I know that I am older. I was alive already at the time of the first cryo archon.”

His family around the table was starting to look surprised, realizing just how old Zhongli had to be. And still estimating far too young, probably. Though he had to admit, even he hadn’t known until the man told him.

“Are you older than Liyue? Why am I asking that, I don’t know how old Liyue is,” Alexei groaned.

“Depends if you refer to Liyue as a nation or simply these lands that would become Liyue.”

“The nation. The lands are as old as time, probably.” His brother clarified.

“Indeed, they would be. And even I am not that old. But Liyue as a nation is about 3700 years old. And I am older than that.”

“Woaaaah,” Teucer whispered. “Older than Liyue!”

“How are we supposed to get anywhere close,” Irina asked, clearly getting frustrated. “You were around for the archon war then. Were you born before or during?”

“Before. I was a teenager when it started. But my species’ aging process isn’t quite as linear as the one for humans is, so that really doesn’t tell you much more.”

“I have no fucking clue, 4500 years?” Alexei asked, running a hand through his bangs.

“Ah, I’m afraid that’s too little,” Zhongli replied with a secretive little smirk. He was quite obviously having fun.

“5000?” Their father asked, holding his teacup. His gaze was hard to read, he couldn’t tell what he thought about Zhongli or about the whole situation. He had always been difficult like that, even before Ajax fell into the abyss.

“Getting closer, but still too low.”

“They’re making me feel young at least,” Lian laughed softly, nudging Guizhong.

“They’ll get a stroke when they hear how old I am. I’m literally as old as dust,” the goddess said, giggling. The two of them laughed a little, winking to Ajax when they noticed him looking at them. He smiled, letting his knee fall to the side a little so it could lean against his boyfriends’.

Katya made a thoughtful noise. “According to a book I read, ten thousand.”

“And depending on which other books you read, anywhere between five and fifty thousand. Which I’m afraid, any number mentioned in a book I have seen so far, has been wrong.” Zhongli said, shaking his head.

“There’s books that mention you?” His youngest brother asked, eyes wide. “You really are super special!”

The god chuckled and thanked him.

“Wait, is that too low or too high?” His grandfather chimed in.

“Too high this time. Also wasn’t this supposed to be Yes/No questions?” He laughed, shaking his head. “Oh well. Do you want to keep guessing or should I say it?”

Everyone motioned him to just tell, clearly having given up on finding the correct number. Though nobody was surprised when Zhongli revealed the real number. His youngest brothers were excitedly whispering about asking him to tell them stories, because someone like Zhongli had to have the coolest stories.

Ajax had a feeling that the god would be more than happy to indulge them and tell them every single story they wanted to hear.

“That’s a very big age difference,” Tonia said teasingly. “Guess you didn’t find anyone you liked in your own age group?”

“Hey, I didn’t know his real age when I fell for him. And now that I know, I don’t care. And if you compare it relatively to his aging process, we’re fine, he’s somewhere mid-late twenties.” He replied, nudging her side. “So that’s not terrible. He’s just much smarter than me, he’ll have to live with that.”

“Pfff, as if you’re stupid. You’re plenty smart. I can talk about anything with you. And you’ve taught me new things,” Zhongli said gently.

“Right, making blini!” Teucer said excitedly. “They’re very tasty!”

“Thank you very much. He did teach me that. And pelmeni, too. I hope teaching me your recipe won’t get him in trouble,” he said carefully, looking at their mother. “I visited Snezhnaya a very long ago and had them there. I liked them a lot, but I’ve never been there again because of my… responsibilities in the past years, keeping me busy. So Ajax taught me how he learnt them from you.”

“Oh, no, no, that’s fine. I mean, if you two stay together, you’ll be family as well. Traditionally, when someone new comes into the family, they’ll learn all the recipes anyways. It’s not a big secret or so.” His mother assured.

“Now we’re talking, I’ve basically already adopted Ajax too, we can start on planning the wedding…” Lian hummed, thoughtful.

Zhongli went rigid next to him, face turning dark red. “We’ve only just gotten together, give Ajax a chance to really decide if he wants to stay with me! You know how it was with baba and you, your whole family kept telling you not to date him. And you could have changed your mind anytime.”

“But I didn’t. I was stubborn and in love, and I knew he would be the best thing that would happen to me in my life. And he was. And then with him, I had you, and you two became the best thing that happened to me in my life. Now I no longer have him, but I still have a piece of him through you.

I’ve loved him as much as he loved me. And considering dragons are known to love more than anything else, that means something. He kept telling me that I could tell him whenever I fell out of love and he’d let me go. He wouldn’t be one of those dragons that wouldn’t let me leave. But I never wanted to. If he’d still be alive, I’d still be with him. Still loving him as much as I did then.

And I can see the same with the way you two look at each other, and something tells me that you’re probably just like your father. Again and again assuring Ajax that you’ll let him go if he wants to, but he doesn’t want to. There’s not a thing farther from his mind than that. Because when you look at him, it’s obvious he loves you just as deeply. Even a blind man would see that, my son.”

Ajax nodded, heart beating fast. Once again, Lian had completely seen through him. He wanted to be with Zhongli until his last breath, and he hoped that moment would be far, far away from him. Because he wanted to live. Gone were the days where he would have thrown his life away for his goddess.

No, Ajax wanted to live. Wanted to love Zhongli. See the world with him, spend all the time he could with his family and friends. Find new interests and learn new things. He wanted it all. He wanted a good life. A happy life.

And most of all, he wanted all of it with Morax.

Chapter Text

With their combined efforts, they managed to get done with everything just shortly after eleven in the morning. They decided to use their remaining time to each go and say goodbye to their friends, talk to their employers and get anything else settled. Katya, Lian and Guizhong had gotten whisked away by Tonia, Anton and Teucer with promises of a tour of the village. He had given all of them a fair amount of mora, so they’d be able to buy any things they wanted.

So it was just Ajax and Zhongli remaining. He briefly considered showing Zhongli around too, also taking some photos with his camera to remember the place he grew up in. He would like to show him, even if there wasn’t really anything special about Morepesok.

It was just a small, simple village. Framed by the sea on one side, and by forest on two others. The people were just as simple, most of them poor. There were only little opportunities for employment, the few people who ran businesses couldn’t pay well either. Many people resorted to working from their own home, selling handmade goods or homemade food.

If he ended up doing a last round through the village with Zhongli, he could buy some things from them. Usually whenever he came back to visit, he would make sure to support the villagers a bit financially. Even if many of them were wary of him ever since he came back from the abyss. Who could blame them? Yet many of them were still always polite when they saw him.

He might be able to get ahold of Anya to say goodbye, but he could just write her a letter. After all, even if he was exiled, letters were still permitted. He just wasn’t allowed to set foot into Snezhnaya again.

“Is there nobody you want to say goodbye to?” Zhongli asked softly, idly playing with a handful of snow that he had picked up. Pressing it into different shapes in the palm of his hand. Making a disgruntled noise when one part of the star shape he was currently working on broke off.

“Ah, there’s just one old friend that I would, but I don’t know if she’s home. I was thinking of doing a last round through the village, showing you around a bit. But Morepesok isn’t anything special, I’m afraid. So I’d probably bore you to death.”

“I don’t think you would. I mean I can understand if you don’t want to show me around, of course. But if you’d like to, I would like that very much as well. There’s no such thing as a boring place for me. I grew up in very simple times, up on a mountain.

In a cave that was made into a house. The entire back part was cave, and the cave opening was extended and surrounded with wooden walls, a roof, windows and doors. My mother was shunned by her family for loving my father, and my father had been an orphan since his early teens, he had been on his own to fend for himself. So, they didn’t really have anything when they married.”

“Wait, so you never met any extended family?” Ajax asked.

The adeptus shook his head. “Not officially. It was always just my parents and me. I heard stories of them, of course. And I did end up meeting some relatives on my mothers side very briefly, but that was around the time I met Ganyu, in the midst of the archon war. They were aware about me being a dragon-qilin hybrid, but didn’t know the specifics. Well, maybe they did think about it, but they never asked and I never told.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I saw no point,” he simply said. “I did think about it, but I told you how I was… One ill word about my mother or father, and I probably would have wiped them all out. And I knew that she wouldn’t have wanted that, so I tried to avoid the topic.” The brunette shrugged, tossing the snow that he was playing with to the ground, not looking at him.

Ajax moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around his middle, leaning into him. He could feel the other man do the same, wrapping him in a tight hug. “I wish I was there. I wish I could have been alive already, known you already. I wish I could have been there for you when you went through your worst times,” he murmured softly. “You’re here, supporting me through the second lowest moment of my life. But you had to go through everything all by yourself.”

He could feel Zhongli tightening the hug, hiding his face against the gingers neck, warm breath against his skin. “Thank you. But you probably wouldn’t have loved me if you would have known me then.”

“Pfff, yeah, no. I would have still found you ridiculously attractive. Knowing you could end me in 10 seconds tops is part of the appeal. And trust me, I would have loved to see you in your young, feral dragon days. And I just know I would have loved you just the same as I do now. As cheesy as it sounds, it feels like there’s just… ah, nevermind, it’s really dumb.”

“Come on. I told you my dumb thing about the ginger children this morning.”

“Ha, okay, fair. Like there’s just something. You know. Like we were meant to meet. Too many things had to line up just like that. I don’t know. I never believed in soulmates or something but being with you makes me seriously reconsider that. So many things had to go just the way they did. And then we both fell in love with each other.

And… you know. It’s incredible. I thought even on the off chance that you’d like me, I’d probably come with way too much emotional baggage. But here you are, so understanding about anything and everything. And so many things we seem to see similarly.”

A soft kiss was pressed into the junction between the side of his neck and his jaw, making him shiver pleasantly. The god hummed against his skin, nose brushing against his neck. “I do see this quite similarly. I like to think I was put in this world to love you; it feels like the most important thing I have done in my life so far.”

The snezhnayan could feel his face getting hot, blushing at those words. “I can’t imagine that loving me is more important than being the geo archon. And it doesn’t have to be, you don’t have to say something like that. It’s not that I’ll think you don’t love me else.”

“I’m serious though,” came the murmured reply. “I wouldn’t say it else. Being with you, loving you, feels so much more important than anything I have done in my life. Like anything else was just there to fill the time and keep me occupied until you would finally be born and until the time would be right for us to meet.”

“You’re going to make me cry, do you have any idea how it feels to have a literal god – more so, an archon – say something like that? Someone who guarded his nation for thousands of years and made it one of the most prosperous nations on the continent? And you think loving me is more important than any of that?”

“I do.” The brunette said, voice soft and warm, again with that tone that made him sound almost reverent. As if out of them both, Ajax was the god that was being worshipped. But then again… What was love, if not the highest form of worship?

Ajax hugged him tighter, hands fisting into the back of the thick coat. He swallowed hard, feeling the familiar pain in his throat, swallowing the tears down. Crying wasn’t pleasant in the harsh cold of Snezhnaya.

“So, do you want to see my boring childhood hometown and hear my boring childhood stories?” He asked quietly.

Another kiss pressed against his neck, lips lingering for a moment. “I’d love to. Hearing more about your childhood would be exciting for me. I want to know everything about you.”

They walked towards the village at a leisurely pace, palms against each other, fingers laced together. There was a bit of satisfaction in the smile on Ajax’ lips. Everyone who would see them, would know they were together. Would know that this man belonged to him.

“Ah, that’s Anya’s house over there. She’s the childhood friend I mentioned. She, you know, never made fun of me for my hair and my freckles. And she kept in contact after I joined the fatui. I get letters from her sometimes. Come to think of it, I’ll have to tell her that her letters won’t reach me with the old address…”

“You can just tell her the one of my apartment, seeing as you’ll be living with me. Ah, look. Someone’s coming out of the house.” Zhongli pointed out, squeezing his hand a little.

“Anya!” Ajax called out, recognizing her blonde chin-length curls from afar. She looked around to see where the voice was coming from, then saw him and waved. He waved too, with his free left hand, then gently pulled Zhongli with him.

“Ajax! It’s been a while; I didn’t know you’d be visiting!” The blonde said, grinning at him. “So good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too. I was hoping I’d be able to catch you. I… uhm. Actually…. It’s my last time coming back. I have been kicked out from the fatui and exiled. So I have to be gone for good in a bit over an hour or so.” He admitted.

Her brown eyes widened with surprise. “Lucky, I was about to go and get some groceries, but I’m not in a hurry, don’t worry. What happened, you seemed to be so successful there?”

“Ah. He happened, actually.” Ajax laughed softly, nodding towards Zhongli. “Anya, this is Zhongli. My boyfriend. Zhongli, this is my childhood friend Anya.”

“Pleased to meet you,” the god said, reaching out to shake her hand.

She grasped his, shaking them. “Pleased to meet you too. So you got kicked out because you got a boyfriend?”

“Well, he wasn’t my boyfriend yet when I got kicked out. But her majesty didn’t like just how in love I am with him. She was worried about where my loyalties lie now. So, she exiled me. My family is coming with me tough.”

“Will you be alright? Where are you going?” Anya asked, clearly worried about him.

“Oh, I will be. Better than ever, I think. It’s already all settled, I’ll be living with Zhongli in Liyue. I’ll write you my new address. Maybe you can come visit sometime, I’m sure you’d like it there, too.” He replied, looking at Zhongli with a smile. It still felt a little bit surreal that he would get to permanently live with him. Have these soft and cozy mornings every day.

She smiled, looking at Zhongli and then at him. “I did notice from your letters that you seem to like it a lot in Liyue. I think Liyue – and being in love – is good for you. You look so happy and bright; it’s been so long since I’ve seen you like that. For so long, even when you were smiling, it never reached your eyes. You still looked sad. Now, you’re truly smiling.”

He could feel Zhongli press a kiss against his temple, squeezing his hand gently. He squeezed back and nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, that’s true. Liyue has been good for me, and Zhongli even more so. He understands the things nobody else wanted to understand, and he accepts me just the way I am. He makes me incredibly happy.”

“Just so you know, I expect an invitation to the wedding, if you end up getting married,” she said with a grin. “Who knows, maybe I’ll find an attractive man that treats me well and looks at me like I’m a goddess when attending. You certainly found that in Liyue.”

Ha, if only she knew that the man by his side was none other than the geo archon himself. Nobody would ever get as lucky as him. It was just like Lian had said, a dragon’s love was special and incredible.

“Don’t worry, I will. And with Zhongli, you’re sure to get to know a lot of people. He’s well known in Liyue for his knowledge.”

“Oh? A scholar then?”

“Ah no, no such thing. I am a humble funeral consultant. But I am well versed in the history and traditions of Liyue in general, as well as many other fields just due to interest. And due to that knowledge, I have a certain reputation.” The brunette corrected. “I lack any formal schooling that would give me any fancy titles.”

Ajax chuckled. As if he didn’t have a whole list of fancy titles even without having gone to school for them.

“Still a very smart man, it seems. Take good care of Ajax, will you? He’s had it hard enough in his life, he deserves someone who cares for him and who helps him overcome the darkness.” Anya said, voice soft.

“I will, I promise. I’ve sworn to do everything in my power to make him happy, and I fully intend to make good on that. And I’ve had my problems in my past as well, the two of us understand our difficulties very well. You said that you can see that I am good for him, and he is just as good for me.”

Zhongli looked at him with a loving smile, golden gaze making him feel warm as always. How did he ever think he could live without this man? How did he ever think he could keep going if he didn’t want him in his life anymore? He was so utterly in love with him, it felt like the warmth of their mutual love and care was chasing away the cold that seemed to have been ever present before.

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that. Is he showing you around before you have to leave?”

“Yes. He insisted it will be boring, but I don’t see how learning more about him and his past would be boring. So I’m quite looking forward to seeing the village.” The adeptus said, sounding almost scandalized at Ajax assuming he’d be bored.

Anya laughed, eyes crinkling. “Sounds like Ajax. Then I don’t want to keep you two any longer, since you’re a bit pressed for time. Do write to me, yeah? And maybe we can make it work that I can visit sometime, ship tickets may be expensive, but I’m sure I’ll be able to save up for it.”

“Don’t be silly. We’ll send you some tickets. I know how things are from Ajax, I couldn’t let you use your hard-earned money for a visit in good conscience. I know several ships that come to Snezhnaya frequently, we’ll arrange everything for you, and it will all be paid for. And I will not take no for an answer, and neither will Ajax. Right, my love?” Zhongli said, looking at him expectantly.

Ajax chuckled. “Yeah, neither me nor him would let you do that, sorry. That’d be unreasonable, I have enough money saved up from my years in the fatui. And we have contacts. Well, he has. Though, does the crux go to Snezhnaya? I’ve been becoming buddies with Captain Beidou after drowning my worries about my one-sided crush down at the wharf.”

Zhongli laughed at that. “Infrequently, but yes. So, we could easily arrange for you to come to Liyue, don’t worry about it. Or I’ll come via teleport network and pick you up, even easier.”

“Ah, thank you very much. Yes, you two really fit together well. What a beautiful couple. We’ll see each other in Liyue sometime then.”

“We will. Take care of yourself.” Ajax said gently.

“I will. Goodbye!” She called, hurrying off to get her shopping done.

They walked slowly, they weren’t in a hurry after all. There was still plenty of time to see everything. Ajax took out his camera and took a few photos. He really hoped they’d get to go back to the teleport point, because he kind of wanted a photo of the fir tree where they had gotten together and kissed for the first time. If they kept going in this direction, walking along the side framed by the sea, they could walk back that other side to get to their houses and the portal again.

“See the little beach there? No sand, just pebbles. My father taught me to ice-fish there,” Ajax said, humming softly. How many days had they spent like that when he had been small?

“Ice-fish?” The god asked, looking at him curiously.

“Fishing, but through the ice. You cut a hole into it, the fish aren’t frozen underneath,” he explained. “Some days, we caught a lot so we’d smoke or cure the fish we caught, to preserve it.”

“Ah, I understand now. I have tried fishing with a rod. But my father taught me a different method when I was small,” the god said, smiling at the memory.

“Blast a meteor into the sea and pick up the fish?” Ajax grinned.

The god snorted slightly. “No, I couldn’t do that when I was a child. No, I learnt to fish with a spear. Standing in shallow water, watching their movements… And striking when the time is right.”

“Oh wow, I did hear of that method. But I’ve never seen anyone do it. You definitely have to show me once the weather gets warm again. I might not be any good at that method, but I’m sure you’ll be quite a sight,” the ginger said, grinning. He was sure he’d look very attractive, watching the fish concentrated until the right time to deliver a powerful strike came.

There was a slight hint of pink on the other man’s cheeks. “I will, if you’d like.”

“Mhm, ah and over there, that’s the school building that I mentioned yesterday. It’s terribly small and cramped, one school for all ages, and people in Morepesok often have many children because they hope for their support once their old enough to work…”

“So they start working at a young age?”

“Yeah, often. Well, mostly just little jobs to help out. Like when I was maybe nine or so, it became my job to make sure we had enough kindling for the hearth. And Irina started getting a little money or exchanging goods by making knitted scarves. Tonia learnt to knit from her, my scarf was made by Tonia.”

“A beautiful scarf. Very delicately done indeed, and very soft. Hiding in it was very pleasant,” the adeptus revealed. “There’s a shop in the harbour selling high quality wools and yarns, if she likes to knit as a hobby, I’m sure she’ll find many exciting colours there.”

“I’m sure she’ll be excited if we show her,” Ajax said with a smile, quickly snapping a photo of the school as they passed. “Hard to believe maybe, but my favourite subject in school was history. Funny that I ended up falling in love with someone who knows so much of it and basically is a piece of living history.”

“Hm, no I can see that. It fits you. I immediately noticed that you were actually interested in the things I told you about liyuen history and culture. Not surprising at all, actually.”

“I was, but at the same time… You could read the dictionary to me, and I would listen intently, I just really like your voice,” the ginger admitted. It was a beautiful voice after all. Soothing deep timbre, low and soft-spoken most of the time, with the elegant liyuen lilt.

The red on his cheeks got a little deeper, Ajax observed, feeling a little pleased. It was nice to see that he had just the same effects on Zhongli that the liyuen man had on him. That both of them were really obsessed with one another, loving each other to the depths of their hearts.

They ended up crossing paths with the group of Ajax’ younger siblings, plus Katya, Guizhong and Lian. All of them were already carrying many bags with them, excitedly chattering about what they had bought.

Anton insisted on giving Zhongli a Pryanik, explaining to him that it was a cookie made with honey. They had always been one of his favourites, and it was sweet to watch how excited he was to see him try it. The god took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. As he swallowed, he hummed softly. Of course, the young boy was more than happy to hear that the man liked it and made promises that they would make them and teach him as well.

Tonia then handed him a chocolate covered zefir, which was her favourite treat. A soft marshmallowy center, covered by milk chocolate. Of course, the brunette liked it just as much. And of course, Teucer didn’t want to feel left out, taking out the box of pastila he had bought, handing Zhongli one made from apple paste. Again, he hummed in delight, making the children happy that he liked their favourite sweets.

But when they started pestering him to pick a favourite among them, laughing and keeping on asking, Ajax just pulled him into a different direction. Away from the overexcited kids, under the guise of needing to keep going now.

“Thanks, you saved me there,” Zhongli laughed, bending over to kiss his temple.

“I’m just warning you, they’ll bring that up later again for sure,” he said. He knew his siblings. That was just a little instance of good-natured sibling rivalry. They needed to know which of their favourite treats was the favourite of the new people in their lives.

“Ah, I thought so,” he replied a bit sheepishly. “I’ll just have to be honest and tell them I really can’t pick, they were all very delicious.”

“Hm, maybe mine will knock them out of the game,” Ajax said with a chuckle, walking up to a small stall. “Good morning. Twenty, please,” he said in snezhnayan.

“Good morning. With powdered sugar or without?” The old woman asked, taking out a brown paper bag.

“With, please.”

“Of course, just a moment please. Would you like some tea as well?” She asked, starting to dust the pyshki with a generous coating of powdered sugar and piling them into the bag.

“Sure, I’ll take two cups.” He replied with a smile.

“You’re Nastja’s boy, aren’t you? The boy who got lost in the forest?” She asked, while keeping on working. 

“Ah, yes, that’s me,” he said, hoping it wouldn’t cause an issue. He had seen her around, had bought pyshki from her before, even though he didn’t know her name.

“People said you joined the fatui afterwards, and I can only remember that you never looked happy whenever I saw you afterwards. You do today, I am glad about that. I used to worry what happened, you were such a sweet child. Whatever changed between your last visit and now, keep going in that direction, boy.”

“Thank you. I will. Though, this will be the last time you see me. I’ve been exiled, I’m just doing a last round. Showing my partner where I grew up. Do you mind if I take a photograph of you? I’ve always loved your pyshki.” Ajax asked, holding up his camera.

“Ah, so that foreigner is your partner. He looks like a good man, gentle and calm. And yes, you may, I don’t mind. I will hold still for a moment,” she nodded, waiting for the camera to flash. Then, she kept working on the pyshki.

Before she poured the tea, she took a little notebook and started writing down something, then ripping out the page and handed it to him. “Can you read this, boy? My handwriting isn’t the neatest,” she said, taking two cups made from birch bark pressed in shape.

Ajax looked over the notes, discovering that she had written down the instructions on how she made her pyshki. “I can. Thank you so much.”

“It’s the least I can do when you like them so much and won’t be able to come get them anymore. It’s a recipe passed down in my family. But I have no surviving children, so I am passing it down to you. Maybe one day you will pass it down in your family, so the people will be able to keep eating delicious pyshki. Twenty pyshki and two cups of tea, that’d normally be 1550 mora. But I’m giving you these for free today, as a departing gift.” She said, smiling gently and squeezing his hand as he took the bag from her.

“No, no, that won’t do. I appreciate it, but times are too hard, and I will be taken care of in Liyue. Please, take this. And I insist, I’m not budging on this.” He said, handing her a generous amount of mora.

“That’s way too much, boy.”

“I know. But I want you to take it. Take care of yourself, you never know when you’ll no longer be able to make pyshki and stand out in the cold all day.”

She shook her head, still smiling. “Alright, if you insist. Thank you very much. You really are a sweet boy, Ajax Ivanov.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t remember ever hearing your name. Would you tell me?”

“Polina Solovyova.”

“Farewell, and I hope you have a good life.” He said, putting the bag on his arm and taking the two cups with his hands.

“I hope you do too.”

He walked over to Zhongli, holding out one of the teacups to him. “Here, tea. It’s similar to the one you had yesterday at my family’s house. With lemon and sugar.”

The god took it, gently sniffing at the cup. “Smells nice,” he said.

Ajax put the tea into his left hand, where he’d lodged the bag into his elbow, and opened it with his right. He took out a pyshki and handed it to his boyfriend, then taking one for himself. “Pyshka, for one of them. Many are pyshki. Fried dough with powdered sugar. It’s been one of my favourite treats since I was a child, I often got them from her.”

Zhongli bit into it, powdered sugar sticking to his lips as he chewed, tongue peeking out quickly to swipe it up. “Oh, that’s good. Especially with the tea, very comforting. I can see why you like it so much.”

“I’ll be able to make them at home, she wrote the recipe down for me. We chatted a little, she knew who I am. I told her it’d be the last time I’m getting them, so she wrote it down. It’s… everyone who knows me notices a change, you know.”

“Because of the abyss, you mean?” Zhongli asked, a little clueless.

“Because of you. They notice the difference from before I met you to now. Everyone keeps saying it. That you’re good for me, that I look happy, that I look better than I did in the past ten years. She said so too. That whatever I’ve been doing since my last visit, that I should keep going in that direction because I look much better.”

Zhongli smiled. “That’s good, isn’t it? Makes me happy to know that people that have known you for years seem to think so.”

Ajax reached for the collar of the gods coat, pulling him into a kiss. He could taste the remains of the sugar on his lips, could feel the brunettes arms wrap around his middle, careful not to damage the pyshki between them. Sugary sweet, warm and comforting, just like Zhongli’s love felt.

To know that his happiness was obvious felt good, because that meant that his boyfriend probably saw it as well, how happy he made him. Because he wanted him to know. This love was the greatest source of happiness he could have ever imagined, and whatever obstacles there would be to an equally happy future, they would overcome them. Together.

Chapter Text

For the next hour, they walked around the quaint village, buying things from several people and stopping for little chats. Whoever they spoke to, Ajax always proudly introduced him as his boyfriend or his partner. It made him incredibly happy, seeing how excited the ginger was anytime he was able to tell someone. They had acquired several bags full of snezhnayan delicacies.

They also took plenty of photos, many just from the village and the landscape, then Zhongli insisted on taking some of Ajax as well. It would be sad not to have any of him in his childhood village, after all. After that, Ajax insisted to take some of him as well, to commemorate him visiting Morepesok.

When time to leave was slowly approaching, they walked the opposite side that they came from. Zhongli recognized the teleporter. Exactly where they had arrived yesterday.

“I really wanted to come here,” Ajax admitted, putting the bags down briefly. “Take a few photos, considering it’s where we got together. And where we first kissed…”

Ajax took a photo of the fir tree that they’d stood next to yesterday, smiling softly. Zhongli pulled him closer to the tree. “We should do this properly, shouldn’t we?” he asked his boyfriend.

The ginger made a surprised noise as the camera was taken out of his hand, and Zhongli pulled him into a tender kiss with one hand, using the other to snap a photo of them. Then another, and another. One of them had to be good. Hopefully.

The snezhnayan sighed when they parted, light blush dusting his cheeks when he realized what he had done. “They better be good,” he muttered softly.

“They better be,” he replied, laughing and handing the camera back to him.

“You’re going to look good anyways. You could wear a paper bag and you’d still be the most beautiful man that has ever walked the earth.”

“I would argue about that, because I would say that is you. You’ve been blessed with such extraordinary beauty, no wonder you’re full of freckles and beauty marks. All the gods in Celestia must be incredibly jealous of you.”

Ajax made a choked noise, staring at him. “Oh my god,” he said, blushing dark.

“That bad?” Zhongli asked, careful. He hadn’t said anything wrong, right? Nothing he hadn’t said before.

The ginger shook his head. “No,” he pressed out. “Just realized you really were calling me beautiful that day.”

“What day?”

“When I apologized to you. About touching me. When you said that, about the envious gods. I-I mean I got the thought before that you’d said that and meant it, but I don’t know. It just. Hit me again, I guess.” The younger man said, looking sheepish. “It’s stupid, that shouldn’t shock me so much.”

“Of course I meant it,” the god said, reaching out to brush his lovers bangs out of his face. “I meant every word with every fiber of my being. But I understand that it’s hard to see yourself like that, when you’ve been told the opposite for so long. But for me… All of you, especially the things you seem to dislike most, are things I love and consider beautiful. I know that you sometimes hide your freckles with makeup. I don’t like those days much, because I love seeing them. You have no idea how hard it was to hold myself back anytime I saw more of them. Or your beauty marks.”

“Hold yourself back?”

“I lost control once and gave in…” Zhongli mused, remembering how Ajax’ soft and supple skin had felt between his teeth, when he lightly bit down onto the trail of freckles on his shoulder. “Though I’m now allowed to kiss and touch you as much as I like, so that probably doesn’t matter anymore. Ah, well, not as much as I like in the sense of you just having to tolerate me, of course. You know, just shove me off. Or tell me. I’ve told you before, you know the gist…”

Ajax put his arms onto his shoulders, moving so close that their chests were touching and that he could cross his arms behind the gods neck. “Zhongli. I will tell you as many times as I have to. I’ll never get tired of you. Of your touch. Of your kisses. Quite the opposite, it feels like every single one just makes me crave them even more. Trust me, I actually feel incredibly lucky that you show me your love like this. So freely and openly. Because it makes me feel loved, and I’ve never felt loved in the way you make me feel it.”

The former archon leaned forward until their foreheads were touching, wrapping his arms around the slim waist.

“And I really, really hope I somehow manage to make you feel that way too. Because currently I still feel so out of depth, that I’m scared that I’m not able to properly show how much I love you. Because I’m still so occupied with all of this, still processing everything that’s happened in the past day. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t adore you absolutely completely and as If I’m not hopelessly obsessed with you.”

Warm lips pressed against his own and he closed his eyes, hugging him tighter. It was easy to get lost in the soft, gentle press, the warmth and the fluttery feeling inside him.

Not long ago, he had been so utterly lonely. Surrounded by people whenever he frequented the harbour, but still so lonely. Because he always played a role, always kept a mask up, kept everyone at least an arms length away from him. Because he had been paranoid about anyone figuring out who he was.

And the more people he got to know a little better, the worse he was still with keeping them away, because he didn’t want them to find out who he was. Because what if they did? People’s reactions could be very different.

He didn’t want them to cower before him and ask for forgiveness for treating him like a fellow human, scared that the lord of geo would strike them down. He didn’t want them to distance themselves, not wanting to say something wrong and offend a deity. Or maybe they would see him in a bad light, similar to the people that believed that he was the one to kill the goddess Havria. Maybe they would hate him for what he’d done.

Or they might feel like this and not openly show it. And he preferred people being honest, as hypocritical that was considering he had to lie or lie by omission all the time. That was the reason why he preferred honesty, because he was – not forced, but in a way he really was forced – to lie, in order to have normal interactions with people. As the god of contracts, lying and deception were things he didn’t like much. He understood their necessity, of course.

But there also had been kind of a relieved feeling when Katya had found out who he was and when Ajax had said his given name. Zhongli was a good name. He had picked it because it had both the “ong” of his father’s name and the “li” of his mother’s name. Then later, after Guizhong had died, he’d liked it even more because it contained a part of her name as well. It was a name that combined the first three people that were near and dear to his heart.

Morax was the name his parents had chosen for him. And Morax shared the “ax” with Ajax. So even if he connected this name with the time when he was at his worst, it was slowly but surely separating from that. Maybe one day, he would be able to be Morax again without having to worry about people’s perceptions of him.

Soft laughter ripped him out of his thoughts, and the two of them broke apart. “Aww, you didn’t have to stop!” Irina said, still laughing.

“Ah, fresh love, can’t keep their hands from each other. Did you come all the way over here to the forest just so you could kiss in peace?” Yulia, who stood next to her, asked a little teasingly.

“We, uhm, actually came over here because I wanted a photo from that tree. We got together at this spot yesterday. You know, memories,” Ajax explained sheepishly. “We were about to walk back.”

“Haha, sorry. We spotted you two from over there, we just couldn’t resist to come and tease you. We have to, we’re your older sisters! And that’s your first boyfriend.” Yulia said, her sister nodding in agreement.

“First and last,” Ajax muttered, blushing, picking up the bags again. Zhongli picked up the other bags too, feeling pleased at his words.

Yulia walked over, nudging his shoulder. “So, Zhongli. Where in Liyue can I find a guy like you? Gentle, caring, soft-spoken… There have to be more, right?”

Irina snickered. “Me too! Doesn’t have to be a guy though, can be a girl too!”

“She’s not picky,” Yulia teased. “Just very single.”

“Hey! You’re no better than I am.”

“Well, I am certainly quite clueless on how to find someone to date. So all I could do is advise you to mingle with the people. Us liyuens like to share our culture and we appreciate whenever people that come from foreign lands enjoy it and take part in it.” Zhongli said, starting to walk with the others.

“We’ll keep that in mind. And you say you’re clueless… Being that old, you’ve certainly had your share of lovers before. Did all of them fall into your lap?” Irina asked, reaching back to tighten her ponytail.

“No such thing. Ajax is my first and will be my last. The species of adeptus that I am only falls in love once in our lives. Then our love is set in stone for all eternity, until we take our last breath.”

“Oh how romantic!” Yulia cooed.

Irina frowned. “But sad. I mean… Not to ruin your day, but Ajax is still a human. He’s going to die, and you’re going to spend the rest of your life missing him?”

“Barely human,” Ajax corrected, keeping his eyes trained on the snowy ground in front of them. “And unless something powerful is getting me killed, I won’t die. Falling into the abyss does that with you, when you manage to come back out. So rather than him missing me for the rest of my life, it’ll be him consoling me whenever I’ll miss all of you.”

“What?” The older sister asked, sounding small.

Ajax shrugged. “I’ve shown no signs of aging in the past six or so years. My master, who helped me through the abyss, is hundreds of years old and still looks like she’s in her twenties. I can still die, but not of old age. Something would have to kill me, and that something would have to be quite a bit stronger than me.”

“And that something would have to be stronger than me as well,” the god said firmly. “Getting past my shield and past me.”

“You really make it sound like you’re some kind of all-powerful being,” Yulia muttered. “You’re not even scared of her majesty.”

“Maybe I’d be scared of her if I had more than just the tiniest sliver of respect for her,” he replied. “Whatever distanced respect I had of her certainly has chipped away when I saw how she treated Ajax and when I learnt more about how she governs her land. What a disgrace. Stolas surely is turning in his grave.”

“Ha, like those rotating skewered chickens and fish,” Ajax laughed. “I’m sorry, is that heresy?”

“He would have laughed, I think. I’m halfways tempted to actually let her come and pick a fight with me. Snezhnaya might be better off getting a new archon.” Zhongli hummed.

“That only happens when an archon dies, though,” Yulia said, brushing her hand through her bangs. “And that happens almost never. Well, I heard that recently Liyues archon died. But her majesty has always been the cryo archon, so she’s surely very strong.”

“Before her, Stolas was the cryo archon. But Ajax told me that knowledge about him is scarcely available, if even at all. But Snezhnaya thrived under him. And your Tsaritsa doesn’t know all that much as she likes to pretend. And if she does come to Liyue to pick a fight, I will treat her like the insolent child she apparently still is.”

“I shouldn’t find you being mad at her as attractive as I do, should I?” Ajax muttered next to him, cheeks red. “I’ve sworn her my loyalty. I was her vanguard! If I still were, I’d be the one fighting you. You’d only get to her over my dead body.”

“Good thing we established that you like me better than her,” the adeptus chuckled. “ Because as curious as I am, I don’t want to test your foul legacy against my powers in a serious battle. We could wreak quite the destruction on whatever ground we’d be fighting on.”

“Oh, so you think you’d have difficulties beating me in a serious battle? But you said you wouldn’t have problems beating her. So you think I’m stronger than her?”

“It wouldn’t surprise me. Abyss powers are unpredictable, I know that well enough. And you are even more unpredictable, due to your fighting style and expertise. So yes, I dare say you might be harder to beat than the Tsaritsa.” He replied honestly. After all, abyss powers were very difficult to gauge, abyss lectors and heralds could be annoying to fight against. And Ajax was proficient at using his foul legacy. “Also your Tsaritsa lacks something that I see as pretty crucial if she were to try and fight against me.”

“And that is?” Ajax asked, eyebrow rising curiously.

Zhongli took a breath, feeling the cold air in his lungs. “Any experience killing a god.”

“Wait, but if you say there was a cryo archon before her, didn’t she kill him?” Yulia asked.

“No. Stolas was killed by a man whose name I don’t know. I only know that Celestia didn’t consider him worthy to become an archon, and then your Tsaritsa was chosen. Since this was long after the archon war and she didn’t participate in it, she’s never killed a god.”

“You almost make it sound like you have,” Irina said, laughing. “Like you’re looking down on her for not having done so.”

“I’m not looking down on her for it. Lucky are those who didn’t have to survive through the archon war. I just think she might take her position a little more serious if it wasn’t just handed to her like that. If she had to fight for it like the other archons had to. Most of the current archons are no longer the original ones, but they still take their duty towards their people seriously. Seeing her not doing that, infuriates me. It’s insulting.”

Ajax reached out to take his hand, squeezing it. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry. It’s the annoyance talking. And I don’t take the cold well, I get even more irritated when I spend a long time in the cold. And it’s very cold,” he groaned softly.

His love laughed gently. “We’ll make sure you get nice and warm when we’re back. Some tea, warm blankets, maybe a bath? Or sitting in the hot spring for a while. Then you’ll be toasty and the lizard brain will be happy again.”

“Sounds good,” he admitted. It was, essentially, lizard brain. The draconic part of him that disliked the cold and preferred to stay enveloped by warmth. That made him feel sluggish and irritated whenever the winter days were especially cold. Luckily, the liyuen winter wasn’t harsh enough for that to be a frequent occurrence, but there were some days.

But Snezhnaya? It felt like the top of his nose had frozen off about an hour ago. He already yearned for it to be evening, cuddling up against the living furnace that was his boyfriend. Having his warmth seep into his own body, the fluffy blankets creating a perfect barrier from letting any cold in and any of Ajax’ warmth out.

“Lizard brain?” Yulia asked, chuckling with amusement.

“I am part dragon. So essentially, a big lizard. We are not doing well in cold weather. I can tolerate Liyue’s winter, but the cold here is a little bit much for me. I get tired and sluggish and that in turn makes me feel irritated. And the behaviour of the cryo archon doesn’t help.”

“You can give me your bags and get into my scarf again? Probably warmer.” Ajax offered. Oh, how tempting that was.

“I wouldn’t want you having to carry all of these things. And me on top of it,” he insisted. Even if it was really, really tempting. It had been amazing, after all.

The other man huffed softly. “I’m not as strong as you, but plenty strong as well. I can carry that. And it’s not too much longer. But you could warm yourself up a little bit. You can still talk from in there.”

“If you’re really, really sure?”

“I am. Come on, I know you want it. Your eyes lit up like the sun in the morning,” he laughed, reaching for the bags.

Zhongli felt his face grow hot, blush surely dark on his cheeks. But he concentrated on taking his beastly form, golden glow around him, and then shrinking it down until he was the right size. Ajax held open his scarf and let him fly inside, curling over the back of his neck and his shoulders, letting his body curl around him one time, so his head came to rest on the same shoulder as the tail. His love carefully tucked the scarf around him.

“Better?” He asked, smile audible in his voice.

“Absolutely perfect. You’re always so warm.” He replied, yawning quietly. Warm, and smelling so nice. He nuzzled his face against the soft skin of his neck, appreciating how caring Ajax was, even when it came to the wellbeing of his draconic side.

He couldn’t help that getting warmed up and being so close to Ajax, gently swayed by the motion of him walking and hearing the sound of his voice as he talked to his sisters, was lulling him in, tempting sleep to overtake him. He tried to stay awake, but it didn’t take long for him to doze off, face pressed into the junction of Ajax’ shoulder and neck.

Chapter Text

They hadn’t walked that far when he could feel Zhongli’s breath even out against his neck. He was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep, nestled into the warmth inside his scarf. Which was sweet, because it meant Zhongli trusted him to keep him safe, napping in this form. He’d worked hard all morning in the cold, carrying around so many heavy things, so he more than deserved a little rest. Ajax chuckled softly, thinking how cute the dragon probably was looking right now.

“Hm?” Irina asked, looking at him.

“Ah, he’s fallen asleep, I think.” He said. “As mentioned, the cold isn’t that good for him, and he’s been working hard all morning.”

“He really just transformed into… whatever that was. Cute, though.” Yulia chuckled.

“A dragon. He can change the size how he likes, that’s how I took him with me to see the Tsaritsa,” Ajax explained. “Because he insisted to come with me.”

Yulia frowned, looking doubtful. “You really had an audience with her personally?”

“Yeah.”

“But shouldn’t you report to whoever’s your superior? Or was it because she exiled you?” She asked.

“She IS my superior. All harbingers report directly to her majesty, since we’re all sent on missions independently. I received my orders from her directly as well. I have several letters handwritten by her.”

“What.” Irina asked, looking at him wide-eyed. “What do you mean- you- you-!”

“I’ve been a harbinger for almost eight years. I got the title on my eighteenth birthday. That’s why my feelings for him were such a big deal for her. You can’t have a vanguard that’s so in love with someone that he’d pick that person over yourself. So she had to get rid of me.”

“You never told us. I never even heard any of the others say anything about it, when they spoke about you,” Irina said softly, brows knitted into a tight frown.

Ajax made a non-committal noise. “Because they didn’t know either. I only mentioned it to our mother yesterday. I never told any of you.”

“Because you weren’t allowed to?” Yulia asked carefully.

“It wouldn’t have been a problem to tell you. It’s not something we have to keep secret. I wasn’t secretive about my status at all, around most people. Not even in Liyue.”

Yulia sighed. “Then why didn’t you tell us when you were promoted? We all thought you were just one of the regular, lower ranking fatui.”

“What did it matter? I told mother and father I’d move everyone to Zapolyarny, they said you all talked and didn’t want it. I told them I would make sure you’re all taken care of financially, they said you talked and don’t want me to do that. Any time I offered any kind of help, I was told that you all don’t want it. When I wanted to help, I had to just buy the thing and have it dropped off. So what difference would it have made? Would you have accepted if you knew?”

“That’s not- It’s not about money, Ajax.” Irina said softly, shaking her head. “We’re your sisters. Your family. We could have celebrated your promotion.”

Celebrated? Why would they want to do something like that? They’d never cared about him much all these years, so why would a promotion be important enough to celebrate? Especially within the fatui. They didn’t have high standing in the eyes of the average Snezhnayan, it was an open secret that they were a sketchy organization. Full of bloodshed and secrets. He had already known that when he was fourteen years old and dragged to the palace by the back of his coat, like a cat carrying a kitten by the scruff of its neck.

“I do have to admit, I never understood why you joined them,” Yulia said absentmindedly, looking at the ground. “You were such a sweet kid, then you got lost and came back all different and went to join those… I mean, you know the stories…”

“What other choice did I have? I came back from fighting for my life for three months, traumatized as you can be, and nobody believed me a word. Do you think that was fun for me? Nobody taking anything seriously I said, constantly being talked down to like I’ve gone crazy? I did go crazy, but all of you would have, if you would have survived in the first place.

Who wouldn’t get crazy, having to face nightmarish creatures day and night, killing and being killed over and over again. The abyss isn’t a fun place! It’s worse than your worst nightmares. What do you think happens, after three months of that? You see everything as a threat. And you’re so used to having to fight, having to be stronger, having to train to get stronger… You can’t just… switch that off! Not like… Oh I’m back to the surface now, well now I can live my life like nothing happened. No.

It’s been well over ten years and I’ve been able to get through some of it, but I still get restless when I haven’t fought anything for a few days. It’s gotten better since I met Zhongli and spent a lot of time with him. But for years I had to go and fight something, anything, at least twice a week or I’d spend hours pacing back and forth.

So you can’t blame me that I thought that nobody would care that I was promoted. Did I ever talk much about anything going on in my life when I came to visit? I made small talk, talked about what goes on in all of your lives. But what was the point in talking about myself when I knew that I was only tolerated? That except the little ones, nobody was excited for me to visit. Everyone kept their distance from me and whenever we did talk, it was strained. So excuse me that all these years I had the impression nobody that nobody gives a shit about me.”

Ajax breathed heavily at his outburst, a little impressed that he hadn’t raised his voice, trying to stay calm enough that Zhongli could keep sleeping in his scarf. He deserved the rest, he didn’t want to wake him.

When he looked at his older sisters, they looked terrible. Shocked and sad. It made him feel awful. Of course, in a way he had wanted to say all these things. Let out his frustration about how they all had treated him. But what good was it?

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have said any of that. Just… forget about it. It doesn’t matter. It’s all happened a long time ago.”

Irina shook her head. “How can it be a long time ago when it’s what things have been like whenever you came back to visit? We’ve learnt more about you in the past fifteen minutes than in the past twelve years.”

“I mean we are siblings, but that doesn’t mean you have to… It’s fine. I know I was an annoying brother when I was younger. And then the abyss happened, and I was even worse. So of course none of you wanted to be around me. And look, I… I don’t expect you to want that now. It’s fine if things stay how they were. I don’t want you to feel forced to try and have a relationship with me again, just because we’ll be living closer from now on. I mean, if you’d want to, that would be nice… But it’s fine if you don’t. I understand.”

“That’s how we came across? That we don’t want a relationship with you? That we don’t care about you, at all?” Yulia let out a shuddered breath, her hand visibly shaking as it came up to brush a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I mean, not just you two, so it’s not… I’m not personally blaming you two. I haven’t felt like I belong since I fell into the abyss. I haven’t really felt like a person for all these years either. Didn’t use my name either, because I felt that I was no longer Ajax,” he admitted.

Irina looked at him, expression conflicted. “You stopped using your name? When?”

“When I joined the fatui. I called myself Dimitri for a while, when I was still a recruit. When I became a harbinger and got the title Tartaglia, I started going by Childe. After what happened, I… it felt like I was only pretending to be human. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. So it felt wrong to use the name I’d had before, because for me it was like the boy called Ajax died in the abyss.

For years, that was how I saw myself. As no longer being human enough, so I made myself her majesty’s abyss shrouded blade, not allowing myself the luxury of feelings. Until I met Zhongli. And he gradually chipped away at the walls that I had built up around myself and my heart. Made me realize that maybe I’m not as far gone as I always thought, and that Ajax didn’t die down in that ditch, after all. That’s when I told him my name, the first person I’ve told it since I was fourteen.”

He breathed a little heavily, the cold air stinging his airways. He felt the comforting warmth of Zhongli’s body, little dragon draped around his neck, nose against his skin. Soft, warm breath on his skin. Reminding him of all the things he’d said about how much he loved Ajax. If there was nobody else in the world that did, Zhongli loved him.

His sisters were quiet, just exchanging looks with each other. Ajax figured that meant that their conversation was over. He had said his piece, they didn’t have to say anything about it. It was a lot, he was aware of that, and he hadn’t even told them everything. Still so many things left unsaid. But they didn’t have to hear them. In the end, they didn’t have to hear anything.

They could just keep going the same way as they had done all these years. He was used to not having a relationship with them, after all. And he understood that they might not want one, maybe now less than before. They kept walking through the snow, and he pulled his scarf a little tighter around him.

Of course he regretted it sometimes, because he wished to have a close, loving relationship with his whole family. But that life wasn’t for him, was it? His mother wanting to know about the abyss didn’t mean that they’d have a closer relationship afterwards either. She could still decide that she didn’t want it after she learnt the truth. That she couldn’t accept what remained of her son.

“Do you hate us?” Irina asked, voice low. She was looking to the other side, to the village.

“I never said that.”

“No, but you’d have every right to hate us,” she huffed. “After all of this.”

“You’re my sisters. I can’t hate you. And I’ve never… I understand. I can understand why none of you wanted something to do with me. You must have all noticed it, that there’s something wrong with me. Self-preservation or intuition or so. So of course you’d distance yourselves.”

“But…”

He sighed softly, brushing a stray strand of his bangs out of his eyes. “it’s difficult to explain. I guess mostly I’m just sad? That things are the way they are. I miss how things used to be and how they could have been at this age if that didn’t happen to me. But it did, and it’s nothing I can change.

Hmm… It’s like I’m in a room, all by myself. Watching you all through a window in the next room together. Being a family. I’m not really a part of it, but the door to my room is open. So sometimes I get to go over to yours and pretend to be a part of it for a little bit. But I always keep it short, because I don’t want to overstay my welcome and don’t want to stretch how far I am tolerated. Because I know at the end of the day, I belong to that separate room.

And nobody ever comes and asks me to join or tells me to come out of it for good and stay with the rest permanently. I never pull the door shut behind me, but nobody cares that there’s an open door. So I stay there, by myself. Sometimes hoping someone would come through the door, but mostly I’ve stopped hoping that it’ll ever happen. Because I understand why nobody comes and why nobody asks me to come join.

Because at best I am mentally unstable, at worst I’ve gone through horrific trauma and changed in irreparable ways, an abyss creature masquerading as a human. And who wants to spend time with someone like that?”

Ajax saw his sisters stop walking from the corner of his eye. He looked back to see why they had stopped. Maybe they’d prefer to walk back by themselves, after everything he said? He probably shouldn’t have said something in the first place.

“So this whole time you didn’t think of yourself as part of the family anymore?” Yulia asked, voice unsteady.

He shrugged slightly, not wanting to startle Zhongli with the movement. The dragon’s breath was still fanning against his skin at an even pace, indicating a good sleep.

“I pretended for the sake of the little ones. But I didn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

Yulia frowned, tensing up. “Is that why you never participated in Sunday brunch anymore? Why you only dropped by for short visits, even for holidays and birthdays?”

“Those are all family occasions. Do you really think I didn’t notice how tense everyone always was when I was around? It’s not that I didn’t want to participate and celebrate with you, I always loved these things. But I didn’t want to make you all uncomfortable by being there. You all deserved to keep doing those things and enjoying them. And if me not being there makes it more enjoyable for everyone, then that’s a small sacrifice to make.”

Even if it hurt. Even if he’d sit somewhere or lie in bed and think about what the others were doing. Or when he’d visit and excuse himself after a short time, chopping wood outside or going to bed early, claiming he was tired from the travels. Hearing them laugh and enjoy themselves, desperately wishing back those times as a child where he was included. Before he became an abyss creature.

“So essentially, you felt like we all didn’t want you there and that’s why you pulled away like that? Because you wanted us to enjoy ourselves and felt like we wouldn’t be able to do that when you’re with us?” Irina asked. “And this entire time, you thought this was completely reasonable, because you think you understand why we should be uncomfortable around you? And you’re not mad at us, no, we’re still important to you and that’s why you’ve done that?”

“Yeah?” Ajax replied easily. Yes, it hurt, but it was better for everyone. And he loved his family dearly, even if he wasn’t really a part of it anymore. He’d still do anything for them.

“And now you were exiled from Snezhnaya and didn’t want to ask us to leave with you, because you thought we wouldn’t come because of that. You wouldn’t have asked us, if your boyfriend – who is some kind of powerful supernatural being – hadn’t mentioned it to us. And then to top it all off, you and said boyfriend are doing everything you can to help us settle and make things easier for us. Even though you haven’t seen yourself as part of the family anymore,” she kept going.

“You’re still my family, for me. And I love my family and want to do everything I can so you all have a good life.” He explained.

“But at the same time, you don’t see yourself as a part of it.” Irina said with a frown.

“Two things can be true at the same time.”

“Yeah, okay. That’s it.” She said, shaking her head. “I’m not taking this any longer.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Ajax scrambled. He didn’t want to hurt them. He had just wanted to explain.

“No. You do not apologise to us. You have nothing to apologise for, Ajax! By I’m not taking this any longer, I mean that we have to change. We can’t go on like this. We’ve failed you for over ten years, on so many levels. Every single one of us. We need to talk together, all of us. Openly. The whole family, minus the boys. But all of us who are old enough. We need to work through this together and resolve this. You agree, right, Yulia?”

His oldest sister nodded, wiping at one of her eyes with her hand. “Completely. We need a family talk. So everyone is aware of what you’ve felt all these years. Because I promise you, it wasn’t like that from our side. And none of us wanted to make you feel this way. I feel terrible, knowing what you must have went through and then you just felt like we’ve all collectively gave up on you and didn’t want you around anymore.

For us it looked like you preferred your own company, because you were so different after you disappeared. We didn’t want to annoy you by asking to spend time with us. And since we were under the impression that there was… something going on with you, we didn’t want to upset you or set you off. But we went about this all wrong.”

“I could have proven to you that the abyss exists, right when I came back. But I didn’t want you to see me like that. I thought you guys thinking I’m mentally unstable is better than thinking I’m some kind of monster,” Ajax said softly.

“Oh Ajax,” Yulia breathed, then almost crashing into him, hugging him tightly. Just a moment later, he could feel Irina’s arms wrap around him too, hugging him just as tightly. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around his older sisters.

“We’ll fix this. I promise you as your big sister,” Yulia whispered, hands clutching his coat.

He could feel Irina nod. “Yeah, we promise. We’ll do anything we can so we can all understand each other better. You’ll tell us everything, yeah? What happened to you? And what you did all these years. How you met Zhongli. We want to know. Everything.”

Ajax felt his throat constrict painfully, but he nodded. “Okay.”

After all, what they said was similar to what their mother had told him. So it had to be true, right? If they said the same things independently from each other. And it had all seemed genuine, not like it was something they all settled on telling him for one reason or another. Maybe it really all just had been misunderstandings piled on top of each other, never to resolve because nobody wanted to talk about how they felt in worry to upset the other.

It would be nice if everything would be able to be cleared up and they could all have a fresh start together.

The thought made his heart flutter softly, making him feel warm. And again, all of it was thanks to Zhongli. If he hadn’t taken it onto himself to speak to his family, they wouldn’t be doing this. Ajax would have just said goodbye, maybe taken a few mementos with him, and that would have been it.

But now? Now he might get his family back for good, after years of missing what he had lost when falling into the abyss.

They would just all have to be honest and patient with each other, and trying to understand.

And he was becoming better at being honest about his own feelings.

His sisters gently squeezed him between them, then let go. Yulia reached up to ruffle his hair a little. “Now come on. Let’s get going so we get back to Liyue in time. We don’t want you getting in trouble with her majesty, even if your boyfriend insist he’d whoop her ass,” she said with a soft laugh.

“He totally would,” he replied, smiling.

“I don’t want to find out, not today,” Irina giggled. “Because I’m excited to live in Liyue, so I want to actually be alive to do that.”

Ajax laughed and shook his head. “Don’t worry, nothing will happen.”

At least not right now.

Hopefully.

Probably.

Chapter Text

A little while later, they were back in the realm, putting away their purchases and resting a little. Ajax was in Zhongli’s bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, the small dragon still sound asleep around his neck through it all. Very carefully, he removed his scarf and removed the ferret-sized dragon, holding him up in front of his face.

He looked very cute like this, as tiny version of his dragon form. His scales were smooth like snakeskin all over and beautifully iridescent in the light, his little paws had retractable claws and little squishy toe beans under them. His fur was incredibly soft and silky, and his little face with the snout looked just too cute.

If they would ever have children, would they be able to do this too? How cute would that be, carrying around a pile of small dragons? Maybe all slightly differently looking? Curling around his neck and shoulders, maybe around his arms as well, trying to get comfortable to sleep on him. It did funny things to his heart.

Or Zhongli curling around them all in his larger dragon form, him and the baby dragons safe in the middle. Guarded like a precious treasure, the gods soothing presence all around them. They would love him. Ajax had no shred of a doubt, even if Zhongli himself did.

But the way he treated Ajax? The way he treated all of them, with so much kindness and generosity. And how sweet he was to his little siblings? Ajax’ heart had melted when Zhongli knelt down in front of Tonia to tell her about their move to Snezhnaya. Or when he had talked to Teucer and Anton. Even if he insisted he wasn’t good around children, or too scary for them…

Ajax didn’t believe it. He knew he would make an excellent parent. Raising children with utmost care, as gentle and loving as possible. Reprimanding only when necessary, always explaining why something wasn’t right instead of just telling them off. And the children would absolutely adore him.

“Mmmrrrrp?” The dragon chirped, lazily opening his eyes and blinking at him.

Ajax couldn’t resist moving his face forward to where he still held him in front of his face and lightly nudged their noses together before pressing a loving kiss onto the little snout. He was way too cute! And then another. Okay, one more. The little dragon blinked again, tail wagging behind him and he was pretty sure that he would have blushed, if he was in his other form.

“How long have I been asleep?” He asked softly, yawning. Tiny, sharp teeth and forked tongue showing briefly, making him swoon.

“Not that long, maybe about 45 minutes? We walked back, and then I put the things away. Spent maybe the last five minutes looking at you, because you look really cute like this.”

With golden light, the transformation dissipated, and he could feel him grow taller between his hands until the god straddled his lap and the gingers hands held onto his sides.

“And you, my love, are perfect to nap on. So warm, smelling so nice… Delightful. Thank you for letting me do that, I enjoyed it very much.” The brunette murmured, leaning down to press a kiss onto his forehead.

Ajax could feel his cheeks heat up. If anyone had told him a year ago that he’d have a literal god and archon sit on his lap within a years time, he definitely wouldn’t have believed it. Well, he wouldn’t have believed if someone would have told him that a week ago either. Especially not a week ago, when he was still very much convinced that Zhongli was too good for him and wouldn’t want him.

He had believed that nobody could ever love him. Yet here he was, with this man, who looked at him so lovingly. Reaching out, gently brushing his fingers through his ginger hair. Loving it, loving him. The hand brushed down, fingers now tracing the scattered freckles over his cheeks and nose. Soft kisses against his cheeks, over his nose, following the trail he’d just drawn with his fingers.

It made his heart flutter, set alight with warm affection. Zhongli really was determined to make him feel loved. To show him how beautiful he was in the eyes of the god, even if it was hard to believe for himself.

“I love you, Morax,” he murmured, and the brunette pulled back briefly, eyes widening with surprise. For a moment he worried. What if he had thought about it again and didn’t like him using his given name anymore? What if he regretted what he’d asked in the early morning?

Before he could apologize however, he was pulled into a tender kiss, fingers running through his hair, brushing over his nape. It wiped almost every single thought from his brain. Morax was very good at that, kissing in a way that took away all his attention and made him feel like the two of them were the only thing existing in the world.

He sighed when the god pulled away and with a dissatisfied noise, the ginger fisted his hand into the front of his sweater and pulled him in again. It was fine, they were barely together for a day after all. He was allowed to be a bit clingy and enjoying being close.

When they parted again, Morax was chuckling softly, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “Good to know I’m not the only clingy one.”

“Well, I already warned you, didn’t I?”

“Mhm, you did,” the dragon said, lightly purring. “I enjoy it a lot. Makes me feel a little less scared of becoming too much for you. Ah, speaking of… This doesn’t bother you, right? Or should I…?” His hand moved a little awkwardly, gesturing to the way he was seated on Ajax’ lap.

“What, having a lap full of gorgeous dragon? I mean I’m not quite right in the head anymore since the abyss, but not enough that I’d say no to something like this,” he replied with a laugh. “As if that would bother me. It’s cute.”

“Good. Good.”

“My sisters and I talked while you were asleep,” Ajax said quietly, leaning his head against Zhongli’s shoulder.

“Was it a good talk?” A warm hand started caressing his back.

“I think so? Intense, I guess. They asked some things and then I just… had an outburst, and told them a bit about how I’ve felt all these years. That I didn’t really consider myself part of the family anymore because it always seemed like they were fine just being family on their own without me. That I felt that they didn’t actually want me there, and all that.” The ginger said, shivering softly as the fingers traced down his spine.

Morax hummed thoughtfully. “And what did they say to that?”

“They were sad. They want us all to have a talk, as a family. Minus the boys, of course. So I can tell them all what happened and finally be heard, and tell them how I’ve felt all this time. So we can resolve it.”

“That’s good, isn’t it? You might be able to come out of it with a much stronger relationship with your whole family.”

“Yeah, maybe. Uhm… would you… would you mind…” Ajax started, feeling a little insecure. It was stupid, really. He wouldn’t refuse. He had been nothing but supportive this whole time, went above and beyond to make him happy and for him to have his family here.

“Hmm?” The adeptus hummed, looking at him curiously. Warm, golden eyes. Full of love. He wouldn’t say no.

“Would you mind being there, when we do that? As… you know, support for me? I’d feel a little better if I knew I’d have you there,” he admitted softly.

“Of course, if you’re fine with me hearing all those things?”

“Oh yes, don’t worry about that. I mean I already told you a bit about the abyss and about my family and all that. Except you’re not comfortable with it, of course, you totally can say no to it! You don’t have to do it just so I’ll feel better if it’s something you don’t want to hear.” Ajax hurried to reassure. “I’m not going to be mad if you don’t want to.”

“I do want to. I’d love to know more about your past. I want to know you like the back of my own hand,” the god murmured. “I want to know everything that you want to share with me.”

Ajax hummed, kissing just at the bend between Morax’ jaw and the side of his neck. “I feel the same. I want to know as much about you as you want me to know.”

“Mhm, that’d be everything. I don’t intend to have any secrets from my loved one. You can ask me anything you’d like to know whenever you want to. I don’t even… I mean, in the end it’s your choice, they’re your family… But I don’t feel like my identity should stay a secret forever. They’re your family. I think we should tell them. Not immediately, of course, there’s other issues to sort out first probably…”

“You’d really be fine with them knowing? Are you really sure about that?” Ajax asked, feeling his heart beat faster at how much his boyfriend trusted his family to keep his secret.

“Of course. Even the boys. I’m sure there’s a child-friendly way to get Teucer to keep a secret,” Morax chuckled, gently rubbing his back with one hand. “And I think it’d have several benefits. They’d know exactly who I am, so they might trust me more. Not that my identity makes me any more trustable, but I mean they probably are still a bit cautious because they know I’m having secrets.

And nobody would have to worry about how to address me. They would probably feel safer, too. Knowing for sure that I’d be able to keep you all safe. Because I’m aware right now they probably think that I’m just… you know. Talking a lot, with nothing to back me up. All growl, no bite.”

The ginger put his hand against the other man’s jaw and kissed him softly, then kissed the corner of his mouth. “I don’t know what to say,” he said, feeling weak. “Knowing you trust them this much makes me really happy. It’s… it’s just all so overwhelming. I’ve never been this happy in my life, my cheeks hurt! I can’t remember that I’ve ever laughed and smiled this much.”

“Good. That’s the life I wish to give you. Full of happiness. Not a single doubt crossing your mind that you are loved. I have been revered by my people ever since I took up fighting in the archon war, even more so after I became the geo archon. But you, my love, are something far more special. The man that I revere. I would do anything just to see you smile. If I could, I would gift you the moon and the stars in the sky.”

Ajax made a soft noise, burying his face against his shoulder again. Would he ever get over how his partner talked? And not just talked, so far he wasn’t just saying pretty words but was doing everything to back them up! How could he not be head over heels in love with him? How could he not want him by his side for the rest of his life? Especially not when he had never thought that he would ever get to experience what love was like, much less that love being returned so intensely.

It was here that he understood what he was going to do. Morax had already proposed to him, even if he told him that he didn’t consider them engaged because Ajax had been unaware of it. It was only fair when the next proposal came from him, wasn’t it? And Morax wouldn’t say no, because he had asked him months ago. So he’d wanted to marry him this entire time.

He would need a ring. And another pair of phoenix and dragon patterned chopsticks. Because he was going to do this, he was going to do this right in both of their cultures. He wanted to show the god just how serious he was about never leaving him. And he had told him already just how seriously Snezhnayans took marriage. So he wanted him to know and understand that he would never want a life with someone else than him.

The thought of calling Morax his husband made his heart beat faster, fluttering excitedly. It felt right. Right like rarely anything had in his life, so he was completely sure of it. Of course he would have to wait for the right time to ask the question, there were other issues that needed to be addressed first and it would also take some planning. Getting the perfect ring and carefully planning where and when to do it. He knew that Morax wouldn’t need everything to be perfect, but Ajax wanted it to be. He deserved it.

Maybe on Mt. Aocang? It was the gods home after all, he held the title of “dragon of Mt. Aocang”. So it was a significant place. Any places that were significant to the two of them were too much in the public eye. But people rarely went up to the peaks of Mt. Aocang and Mt. Hulao due to their connection to the adepti. So they would be all by themselves and he’d be able to say anything he wanted to, not having to worry about anyone overhearing something that they weren’t supposed to.

But he wanted to talk to Lian beforehand. She had told him that she was fine with them being in a relationship, but he wanted – needed – the reassurance of her support for this. He needed to know that she would be happy and excited for their families to become one. And that she was really fine with him becoming her son in law.

Because he couldn’t imagine what it would be like for Morax. Wanting to marry him, but his mother having doubts. And contrary to his own family, she’d still be around in a few hundred or thousand years. No, he needed her fully on board for this.

And what kind of ring should he get? Silver? Gold? With a stone? What kind of cut? Oh Celestia, he’d have to sneakily get one of the god’s rings to make sure it was the right size. And he’d have to pay attention that it was one that he wore on the ring finger. Or… would he maybe not appreciate a ring? Would he prefer a proposal purely in liyuen tradition? Ugh, why was this so difficult? He’d have to think about this some more.

Maybe, just maybe ask Lian and Guizhong about it. But would they stay quiet about it or tell Morax? They were much closer to him than they were to Ajax after all, he was just a little less than a complete stranger to them. Even if he had gotten stupidly attached to them already, and they were kind and sweet to him, but maybe more so for Morax’ sake.

Ajax groaned softly in frustration. Having more people in his life was nice, but personal relationships between people were difficult.  He wasn’t used to wanting to be close to people, worrying about if they saw things the same way or if they’d prefer to keep him at a polite distance instead.

“What are you thinking about?” The god asked, chuckling softly. “You’ve been quiet for a while.”

“Just wondering how long it’ll take her to use the throne room again and to see that the gnoses are missing,” he lied. “Normally she only uses it maybe once or twice per month, so we might be lucky to still have two to four weeks left before she even notices.”

“She’s really not a people person, huh?”

“Not at all, she prefers her solitude. There’s a handful of attendants and other staff like chefs, maids and cleaning staff, but they’re mostly just puppets made the way Katheryne from the adventurers guild is. All made by Sandrone. And then there’s the guards which are specially trained human fatui soldiers.

Apart from that, she really just keeps company of the harbingers, if there’s need for it. And out of them, that old creep – Pierro – is closest to her. I may have been her favourite, but he still was the only one who got to just casually chit-chat with her, and he’s the only one pretty much living permanently in Zapolyarny.”

“Maybe that’s why she doesn’t understand that she’s letting everything waste away in the frost. It’s a pity, really. Stolas loved his people so much and did everything he could so they’d have a good life and plenty of ressources even if Snezhnaya is cold. During one of those meet-ups that I told you about, I remember how he talked animatedly with Buer – the dendro archon – about ways to improve yield of crops in harsh climate. As the archon of Sumeru, she was well aware of the difficulties of life in a desert, so Stolas figured she might have advice for him.”

Ajax smiled softly. “He sounds like he was nice. It’s a pity he’s no longer around, I’m sure things would be much better.”

The god frowned, shaking his head softly. “For sure. Saleos is an embarrassment. I feel ashamed that someone like her is carrying that title. I already judged Barbatos for just not ruling his people and just doing what he wants to do. But they did well for themselves even without him, and this freedom is what he believes in, that after taking down Decarabian Mondstadt shouldn’t have an actively ruling deity. While me and many others believed in guiding our people, more or less firmly of course.

But her? She’s actively sabotaging them. It’s almost like being handed a tended to garden and just standing there, watching while it all withers away. Ha, no. She’s spraying poison, even. Because part of the harsh climate is her fault. She’s the one creating the persistent blizzards, after all. Don’t get me wrong, Snezhnaya has always been cold and the harshest climate out of all the seven nations, except maybe Natlan with it’s volcanoes and geysers. But she made it even colder. Really makes me wonder why Celestia is still letting her get away with it.”

“Maybe they’re watching the situation. Or maybe they’ve heard you and are waiting for you to fix it for them,” the ginger laughed softly. “They’re sitting up there thinking ‘Oh yes, the warrior god, perfect. He’ll put her in her place’ probably.”

“You think so?” Morax asked, huffing softly.

“Maybe? Who knows what they’re thinking. You know those people, not me.”

“I don’t really know them either. At the beginning of the end of the archon war, I was called by Celestia and took the first seat on the table of archons. Then, over the next few weeks, gradually every seat got taken until all seven of the seats were occupied. That’s when a representative of Celestia told us what was expected of us and handed us our respective gnoses.

I never saw anything more of Celestia than that room, which also had seven doors leading to small guest rooms. We could sleep in there, we’d be brought food, there were small bookshelves in there… Just to pass the time until the rest of the archons were decided. I never saw more people than the attendant that would serve us the food and that representative.”

Ajax chuckled. “And here I was thinking you’d be all buddy-buddy with them.”

“No, not at all. The gnoses can be used to communicate with Celestia in some capacity, but I’ve never tried to make use of this. I wouldn’t know what for, I preferred to rule my people my own way and not have Celestia tell me what to do.”

“Makes sense, maybe for the better even. And I mean, look at Liyue. The richest nation in Teyvat, powerhouse of commerce, famous for high-quality products that get imported for very expensive prices all over Teyvat… You’ve done well. I’m sure your father would be extremely proud of what you achieved while leading this nation.”

Morax’ eyes widened a little, arms wrapping around Ajax’ body and tightening. “Thank you,” he murmured softly, leaning his forehead against the gingers. “That means a lot to me.”

“I mean it,” he replied just as softly, caressing the gods back. He really did. He’d done so much, loved his people so much. How could his father not be proud if he would have been able to witness it? And from the way Lian talked about him, he was sure that she would agree with what he said.

Chapter Text

Just a little while later, they all sat together in the living room. Which was now significantly larger than last time he had seen it. Now, there were several couches and armchairs arranged to face each other around the coffee tables, so all of them could sit and talk if they wanted to.

Zhongli sat to his right side, long legs crossed over each other casually, leaning against the back of the couch. He had decided not to put up his mortal disguise again, and Ajax was relieved to see that nobody seemed to be bothered by it. In his right hand was a cup of tea, that he took a sip out of. His left hand hadn’t left its position on Ajax’ upper thigh ever since they sat down. The ginger had put his own hand on top of his’, enjoying the contact.

To his left was Tonia, her legs pulled up onto the couch and leaning against his shoulder. Ever since yesterday, whenever he looked at her, she’d light up in a happy smile. Even now, she had a soft, content expression on her face.

Guizhong was kneeling in front of the fireplace, carefully starting a fire to chase away the cold that had gotten deep into their bones all morning. When she was happy with the progress, she sat down into the armchair close to her, humming softly.

“Zhongli? Shouldn’t we make sure to get any… immigration forms or other needed paperwork done? I cannot imagine the geo archon appreciates us just… barging into his lands like this. And I don’t think we are going to make a good impression if we don’t… Her majesty surely wouldn’t like that someone just sneaking into Snezhnaya without doing any of the official paperwork and documentations…” His mother asked carefully. “I wouldn’t want to anger him.”

“Mhm, we don’t want to risk getting kicked out,” Artyom agreed.

“Don’t worry about such things,” Zhongli said gently.

“With all due respect, but we know what her majesty is like. I can’t imagine that the archons in other lands are that different,” his grandfather added with an apologetic smile. “So of course, we want to do things right.”

Zhongli looked back at him questioningly. Silently asking for permission, maybe? Ajax just shrugged, moving his hand noncommittally. In the end, his identity was Zhongli’s secret. If he wanted to tell them now, he could.

“Would it be fine?” The god asked carefully, quiet enough that only Ajax could hear.

“Sure, just don’t make any of them have a heart attack,” he murmured. “Even if your boss would be happy about that.”

“Ouch,” Zhongli huffed a laugh and shook his head, then turning back to the others with a slight smile. “As I said, don’t worry about that. After all, I was the one offering you to live here. We will need to fill out some paperwork for the Qixing, but that can wait. I’ll just have Ganyu handle that, we’ve known each other for a long time and then it’ll all be fine. The majority of Liyue thinks that the geo archon is dead. But the truth is, that I’ve just decided to retire to enjoy living the rest of my life the way I want it to live.”

His family all stared at Zhongli as if he’d grown a second head. Well, understandable. He had felt just as shocked when he had found out about the beautiful consultant’s real identity. His mother was coughing, choking on her tea.

“You- You’re joking, right?” His father asked, in clear disbelief.

“Oh, not at all. I go by Zhongli these days, living like a normal person between my people. But my actual name is Morax, called Rex Lapis by the people of Liyue.” He replied calmly.

“You don’t look surprised, Ajax,” Irina said, sounding a bit wobbly.

The ginger couldn’t help but laugh. “Duh, that’s not news to me. I’ve known for a few months already; we had a whole argument about it.”

He could feel the god lift up their joined hands, pressing a tender kiss to the back of his hand. Warmth bloomed in his chest as the golden eyes caught his gaze.

“So you’re just… dating a literal archon. Cool. Cool.” Alexei said, nodding and taking a sip of his tea.

“That explains… a lot,” his mother said quietly, seemingly having gotten over her initial shock.

“I would appreciate it if you don’t treat me any differently for it. As I said, I have retired and no longer act as an archon. My people are governing themselves now, the Qixing do a fine job looking after them. All I want to do is enjoy my life after spending more than half of it either taking part in the archon war or acting as Liyue’s archon.

Now, I finally get to relax and no longer have to worry as much about other people’s perceptions of me. I can just stroll through the harbour, meet new people… And finally enjoy being in love as well.” He said gently, looking over at Ajax and squeezing his hand.

“You make it sound like that’s new to you. Being in love. But I imagine someone as old as you has been in love plenty of times,” his babushka said, looking at Zhongli over the rim of her cup. She usually was a quiet person, rarely speaking up if she didn’t have to say something important.

The god shook his head. “I am half mountain dragon, and I take after my father in many regards more than my mother’s qilin side. Mountain dragons love only once, and for their lifetime. Once we fall in love, our heart is set in stone. I will love Ajax with all my heart until my last breath.”

He could hear his older sisters coo softly at his words, and no matter how often he heard them himself, they made his heart sing. He lifted their joined hands and pressed a tender kiss into Zhongli’s palm.

“Isn’t that going to be terrible though? I mean, big brother is… well… going to grow old and die eventually. And then you’ll be sad for the rest of your life.” Tonia said softly, frowning. “As sweet as it is, it’s cruel too…”

“That’s true.  I don’t want to imagine what it would be like to keep living for thousands of years without Artyom,” his sister-in-law said. “A few years might be bearable, even if hard, but hundreds and thousands of them? I couldn’t…”

“Anton? How about you and Teucer go play in one of your rooms, I’m sure all this adult talk is getting boring for you, isn’t it?” Ajax asked softly.

“A little…” Teucer admitted. “But can we hear cool stories about the geo archon later? Please?”

Zhongli chuckled, nodding. “Of course, if that’ll make you happy.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Teucer pumped his fist with a grin, Anton laughing next to him.

“You’ll call us for dinner, right?” Anton asked carefully.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Ajax assured. “We wouldn’t forget about you two.”

“Good!” He called, then ran after Teucer.

Ajax sighed softly. “About what you said… That won’t happen. In fifty years, you’ll all be old and grey. And I’ll be here, just the same as I am now. In two hundred years, all of you will be dead, even your grandchildren will be dead already. And I will still be here. In a thousand years, I probably won’t even be able to keep track of all of your bloodlines anymore. That’s what the future holds for me. Except something more powerful than me is getting me killed, but they’d have to get past the warrior god with an invincible shield first.”

“And I will let nothing in this world harm you, not even split a single hair.” Said god added firmly.

“You’re… immortal? How?” Alexei asked, staring at him from over the coffee table.

“That’s what the abyss does to you, if you survive it. You only have two options. Die, or make the abyss a part of you. And if you let it do that, you will survive. But it also means that you no longer age and will no longer die from natural causes. It is… a place that defies logic, in a way. It’s something someone can’t really imagine if you haven’t seen it.” Ajax explained.

“In there, everything is absolutely deadly. You can die when something stronger than you kills you. But if it doesn’t manage to eat you, the abyss mends you. Then you just get back up and get going about your day. Maybe some pain still lingering from whatever it was that killed you. You don’t forget what it’s like, being killed over and over again. So in a way, I’ve died more than enough to make up for all the lifetimes that I will keep on living…”

Zhongli’s hand on his thigh tightened its grip. It wasn’t uncomfortable, rather a reassuring reminder that he was there. That he’d always be there. A promise of protection and support, etched in stone for all eternity.

“That’s why I came back so different. Imagine being in survival mode every second, every day. For three months. Because that’s what it was for me. Three months. Not three days, time in the abyss runs a lot faster compared to the surface. If I hadn’t met my master, I wouldn’t have survived the first hour down there…” He said softly.

“Your master?” His mother looked at him curiously. She’d been listening intently, judging by the expression on her face. So she really wanted to know?

“A woman named Skirk. She’s been travelling the abyss for… who knows how long. Hundreds of years. She found me and took me in as her student. She taught me how to survive down there. How to fight. How to… harness the energy of the abyss itself, using it as power for myself. If she hadn’t been, I wouldn’t be half the fighter I am today.”

“So you have powers apart from your vision, is that right?” Irina piped up.

“Yes. It’s called the foul legacy transformation. Well, that’s what Skirk called it. When you stay in the abyss and start making the abyss a part of you, it wants to change your appearance. It’s… It’s like the abyss is looking at you and sees all your flaws and all your potential. And it wants to change you according to that, it wants you to change shape so you can fulfill your true potential. But you have to resist that, if you want to leave the abyss again. Because you still want to look human, you don’t want to get out and look like a monster.

Some people aren’t strong enough to, though. Their appearance will change permanently, and they might even lose their mind and sense of self. Become an abyss beast like all the others. The foul legacy is the process of rejecting this change partially. It’s stabilizing the abyss’ will, not letting it overpower you. Instead making it a part of you enough, that it becomes something you can call forth by your own will.

 I got my vision shortly after falling into the abyss and mastered my foul legacy a little bit later. So my master called my foul legacy “the devouring deep”, I’ve decided to keep the title seeing as it was her who even taught me…”

He could feel Zhongli pull his hand up again, and he briefly looked over, seeing him pepper kisses over each of his knuckles. He was a little surprised to realize that it made him calm down immediately. His heart had been beating up into his neck just moments ago, but now it was slowing down, gently thrumming away in his chest.

Ajax hadn’t expected that “family talk” to happen right now, but it was fine. Maybe it wasn’t even the proper one, maybe they were just asking things. He’d see how things would go. Lian, Guizhong and Katya were here too, but that didn’t bother him. They could hear these things, after all they’d been interested in his past before as well.

It just felt strange. He’d never talked much about the abyss, only very rarely. And then never a lot and never in detail. So, telling all of these things felt odd. But Zhongli was warm and solid next to him, keeping him from straying too far into his memories. He wouldn’t get lost in there with the other man’s grounding touch.

“That’s… a lot,” Artyom said quietly, reaching for his tea. “We had no idea all these years…”

“Well, nobody wanted to know. Of course I never said more after I realized that you all just thought I went insane.”

“If my memory serves me right, you ran off with the fatui quite soon after,” his oldest brother replied, raising an eyebrow.

“I didn’t run off with them! I didn’t join them because I wanted to! There were those fatui guys taunting me, and I defended myself. I beat a full group of armed adult fatui soldiers at fourteen years old, with just using my vision. If Pulcinella hadn’t come, managed to subdue me goddess knows how – I still don’t know how, after being a fellow harbinger for almost eight years – and dragged me to the palace, I would have never joined them. I didn’t have a choice; it was that or punishment by her majesty!”

He took off the red mask that was fixed to the side of his hair, that he’d worn completely out of it being part of his usual morning routine, and threw it onto the coffee table. It slid right in front of Artyom.

“I spent four years working my ass off to rise through the ranks because I didn’t want to stay expendable cannon fodder or end up becoming an experiment for dottore. At eighteen, I was made harbinger. The eleventh, Tartaglia, the vanguard. I spent over ten years in her service, convincing myself that I was no longer human. Convincing myself that all I am is abyss taint parading as a human, that all I am good for is to fight for her cause even if it’ll kill me.

And I never got a chance to truly recover from my time in the abyss because being in the fatui is no less cruel. Do you think it was fun? Dehumanizing myself all these years? Getting manic episodes whenever I’m not out on a mission and fighting for my life for a few days because resting feels wrong, because I’m so used to having to function and survive the whole time?

It took me meeting Zhongli to finally get a real sense of self again, realizing that I am still a person and not just a weapon to be used and discarded as that goddess sees fit. And he understands! Because he’s went through something similar with the archon war. Around him, I feel calm. It’s the first time in my life that I don’t feel like I’m going insane if I’m not fighting for a few days. He makes me feel alive in a way I’ve never felt before, and he makes me feel loved when I thought nobody would ever be able to love me.

And I’ve fallen for him months ago, when I didn’t know that he was the target of my mission. I was sent to Liyue to steal something from the geo archon, and she deceived me. All I was supposed to be, was a decoy in his retirement plan. But he apologized, because he cares! She doesn’t. Why would she, when she feels that she is above everything? And that’s why she exiled me. Because she can’t have a vanguard that would rather lay his life down for a foreign archon than his own. You really think all those years were fun?”

Ajax breathed heavily, not realizing he had gotten up and raised his voice, his whole body shaking. Artyom looked at him, eyes wide and stunned silent. Taking a shivered breath, he raised a hand to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes.

“My love,” Zhongli’s voice came from next to him, soft and gentle. Calm. “Come here?” Carefully, the god pulled at his hand and the ginger let himself fall onto the couch next to him. He pulled his legs up, leaning against the other man’s side. The brunette let his left arm snake around his back, hugging him with one arm.

His breaths started to become more even again as he relished the close contact. Zhongli really managed to get him to calm down effortlessly, just how did he do that? The warrior god with this incredible, calming air around him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to raise my voice like that… It’s just… You made it sound like I did that voluntarily, when I didn’t have a choice. And in hindsight, it wasn’t good for my mental health. Even though I’ve only come to realize recently just how bad things were.”

“It’s… it’s fine. I’m sorry, too. I always had the impression that you did join them on your own volition, with how strange you were acting back then,” his oldest brother replied, shaking his head.

“I understand. But I really didn’t.”

“I… think I should apologize,” his father spoke up.

Mother looked at him surprised, surely not expecting him to do that. He usually wasn’t someone who admitted to mistakes, as he was a very prideful man. “We did do a bad job as parents, we definitely should apologize for that.”

“I don’t mean that, Nastja. Well, that as well but… That you had to join the fatui was… through circumstances… my fault.”

“What?” Ajax gaped at him.

“I didn’t know what to do anymore. You were such a sweet boy and you came back all different.  You picked fights around the village, you were defiant, destructive… I really didn’t know what to do anymore, how to get you to calm down again. And in my desperation, I talked with a few fatui soldiers that had come to the village for some job. I hoped having a scuffle with them would teach you a lesson and that maybe it’d make you settle down. I… I couldn’t have been more wrong, and as a consequence of that…”

“Pulcinella dragged me to Zapolyarny,” Ajax said, finishing his sentence.

His father nodded, lowering his head in shame. “I am sorry. I failed as a father. Please don’t blame your mother, I never told her about this… Even though I should have. I am sorry, Nastja.”

“You went and asked grown fatui soldiers to beat up our son?” His mother stared at him in utter disbelief. “Lord of the rock, please strike him down,” she muttered under her breath, but loud enough for everyone to hear, clearly frustrated with him. Earning a few shocked gasps and some surprised laughs from the rest of the family.

Zhongli gave Ajax a questioning look, as if waiting for confirmation that he really should do it. The expression made him laugh, unable to hold himself back.

“Please don’t,” Ajax said softly. “He’s made some mistakes, but he’s still my father. And he’s apologizing, so he’s trying to make amends.”

“It’s the least I can do. Ask you for forgiveness. Try to be a better father from here on out. More… patient and understanding.”

“Ajax told us earlier that he didn’t really feel like a part of the family anymore. So we should all strive to do better for his sake and our whole family’s sake,” Yulia piped up.

“You didn’t?” His babusia asked, looking sad, which hurt his soul.

He loved his babusia and his dziadzi dearly, he had always been closer to his mothers’ parents than his fathers’. Mainly because his paternal grandparents had always been stricter and less affectionate. They were both a bit older than his maternal grandparents and from a generation still that thought showing emotions was the same as showing weakness.

His father had been very much influenced by this, he didn’t like to show his emotions much even if he was a more affectionate father than his own probably had been. But he didn’t like to speak about his feelings much, too prideful for it usually.

His maternal grandparents were almost the complete opposite. They had always shown them a lot of affection, and they almost wore their emotions on their sleeves. To the point where his dziadzi was terrible whenever he had to bluff when they were playing cards.

“It just… felt like I was barely tolerated. Like you all didn’t really want me there,” he admitted softly.

“That’s why you would always kept busy when you visited? Always worked around the houses like crazy, even while we were eating? Why you’d only drop in for a coffee or never ate with the family?” His babusia asked.

He nodded weakly, knowing it would hurt her. “I felt like that wasn’t… wasn’t something I should take part in anymore. You all always seemed so uncomfortable whenever I was around, like you were constantly walking on eggshells. I didn’t want to subject you to feeling uncomfortable in your own home.”

“We have a lot of mistakes to correct,” she replied softly, rubbing her hands over her eyes. “I can’t believe you felt like this all this time and never said anything. But then again we all did a poor job at making you feel welcome, loved and supported. We’ve been a terrible family.”

“That’s not true… I mean I understood why you all acted like that. I was a lot. And of course you wouldn’t believe me. I mean, it was frustrating of course. But I understand it!”

“That doesn’t make it right, Yasha,” she said, looking at him warmly.

How long had it been that he’d heard that nickname from someone, that loving diminutive of his name that had been so common in his childhood? That he reacted to faster than he did when he was called Ajax at times, because he had been so used to it.

Short after he came back from the abyss. Around where everything had started to become terrible. When his emotions had been all over the place, everything suffocating and too much and too little at the same time.

His beloved mother, looking at him in desperation at how destructive her –then still youngest – son had become. We’re just worried about you, Yasha. Let us help you, please. We love you and want you to be well.

Chapter Text

He had known for a while that Ajax was a brave man. But he kept surprising him with how brave he was, standing strong against whatever was thrown his way. That didn’t mean that he did so emotionlessly or without the need of support, of course. But he didn’t hesitate to talk to his family right then and there.

And he seemed so fearless when doing it, even as his voice and body had started to shake a little when he had raised his voice. He couldn’t help but want to comfort him, even just a little. He really hoped his love didn’t misunderstand his actions. Didn’t see his kisses and him pulling the ginger back onto the couch to him as signs that he saw him as weak.

He didn’t do it because he doubted his strength, but because he wanted Ajax to know that he was here with him. That no matter what happened, he would have his back. Be a pillar of support, that he could lean and rely on. Reinforcing the strength he already had on his own.

Maybe he should tell Ajax later. Make sure there wouldn’t be any hidden resentment. If he had learnt one thing in the past weeks, it was to make sure to communicate with people. Of course he had always done that in some capacity, but he’d usually kept more things to himself than he ever voiced to anyone. For every word said, he’d kept a thousand to himself.

Morax had never dared to show weakness, so he’d kept his softer, more vulnerable side to himself. Guizhong had already seen a little bit of it thousands of years ago, but he still had kept his guards up. It was the middle of the archon war, and he couldn’t allow himself to be vulnerable.

He could still see how she’d often watch him silently, probably surprised how he behaved these days, especially with Ajax. He wouldn’t put it past her if she thought of them as two separate people almost, Morax Then and Morax Now.

But opening up felt right. Especially because of Ajax. He didn’t want him to feel bad about expressing his emotions, he wanted him to show them freely. So it was only right that he showed his own freely, too. Showing when he was sad or frustrated, showing him how much he loved and adored him, showing him when he was happy or amused.

Ajax was half lying, half sitting next to him, leaning into his side. Morax had wound his left arm around his back, hand resting on his side, idly playing with the hem of his shirt. His love didn’t seem to mind and it made his heart beat faster.

With his other hand, he carefully took one of the large blankets off the back of the couch. He threw it a bit over Ajax’ body, then took another and positioned it so it would cover his own legs. A shiver went down the gingers body and he cuddled a little closer into his side. Some of the others had started making use of the blankets as well, or were warming their hands on their teacups.

“What’s the abyss like?” Alexei asked, leaning back a little. “Apart from horrible I mean. If- if you can talk about it. I mean it surely was traumatic…”

“I can talk about it just fine,” Ajax said softly. “To survive there, you can’t be scared of it. You have to actually look at it. You can’t just hide and cover your eyes. You have to face it head on, else you’re dead. It’s… a strange place. Deep beneath the earth, like a giant cave system. There’s roots and strange plants everywhere, but everything is highly volatile. The air feels… strange. Like trying to breathe in a snow storm. It stings and it feels suffocating. It’s really dark, the only light comes from bioluminescent plants and from the Irminsul roots…”

The former fatuus shifted again, getting a little more comfortable, a pleased hum leaving his lips when he found a good position. Which apparently was half lying down on his back, propped up against him with his head against the side of his chest. The arm that Morax had put around his back was now along Ajax’ left side, the gingers right arm lying across his stomach and playing with the gods fingers.

“The cave systems are winded and confusing. Some tunnels lead closer to the surface, some others deeper down into the earth. Different parts of it are territories of very different creatures, each of them more terrible than the last.

In the Gale Depths, which were some of the lowest caves that I’ve seen, there’s everlasting storms. Winds so sharp, you feel how they cut into your skin. There were monstrous birds the size of two grown men. They spit acid and have razor sharp talons, large enough to cut through a whole arm with a single swipe. These acid raptors share the Gale Depths with the steel ants, which are tall like a house and have very sharp mandibles. But due to their hard skin, they are immune against the acid.

The Spiral is just one long, long tunnel. Going down and down and down in a spiral. It leads to the Gale Depths, but its winds only affect maybe the last quarter of the Spiral. The rock there is very weathered and you have to be careful because the walls, the ceiling and the floor keeps breaking. And if you’re not careful, the saw crabs try to get you. They’re small, but annoying. Swiping at your  ankles and lower legs with their saw-like shears, trying to cut a ligament or muscle badly enough that you fall over and they can attack the rest of you. If it wasn’t them, then the mud eels would try to bite you and they’re venomous.

At the top end of the Spiral, there’s the Red Ponds, which is a large cave with multiple ponds with red liquid in it. Like tidepools, but bigger. And in them, there’s fish with a pharyngeal jaw, so when they bite you, they bite you twice. Master never told me what they were properly called, she usually just called them those assholes,” Ajax said, laughing softly. “Let’s go fish for some of those assholes.” He added, chuckling.

Morax couldn’t resist chuckling a little too, as did the rest of the family. He brought his right hand across his body and gently brushed through the gingers hair, letting the soft strands move through his fingers. Ajax moved his head a little, looking up at him and smiling at him, making his heart beat faster.

Ajax was slowly taking off the leather glove on his left hand, placing it in his lap. Then he started tracing the geo lines on his fingers, taking a deep breath. “The part where we spent most time was the Mushroom Forrest. Mushrooms of all colors and sizes and their caps would provide decent coverage from any vultures. But they also had different properties, we had to stay away from the emerald green ones because those produce spores that get into the skin. And you don’t want mushrooms to grow through your skin. Or the orange ones puff out a powder that’ll knock you out. And you don’t want to be unconscious down there.

In the Mushroom Forrest, there were plants growing as well. The leaves of one type of bush were thick and puffy, we gathered those and sewed them together to create mats that we’d sleep on. In the Mushroom Forrest as well as the Light Cavern next to it, the Irminsul roots were the densest. And many abyss creatures don’t like Irminsul. Master taught me how to use it to help me stabilize the abyss energy in me, and staying close to them meant we’d have some time to properly rest.

But we had to keep moving around, because there’s also the abyss order that we had to avoid and many predators go anywhere. And almost nothing in the abyss isn’t a predator in some way or another. Even if it might not be dangerous to us, then it was to some other creature.”

Ajax was flipping his hand over, tracing over the palm of his hand. Making him shiver softly with how featherlight his touch was. The god leaned back a little more, making himself a bit more comfortable. He couldn’t help but purr softly, delighted by the sweet and gentle touches. He kept using his right hand to play with the ginger hair, watching the light of the lamps and the fire in the fireplace catch in it.

“There’s some tunnels and caves that don’t have special names because there’s nothing special to them. Just dark, full of rocks and roots and some plants. And I only ever saw a small part of the abyss. It’s gigantic, probably the underbelly of the whole of Teyvat. But my master and I stayed closer to where I fell in, since she knew that I wanted to get out of the abyss again. So she didn’t want to lead me too far away, else I might have come out somewhere entirely different in the world.”

“You master, what was she like?” Yulia asked, shifting to sit cross-legged on the couch.

Ajax hummed thoughtfully. “Quiet. Calm, most of the time. She knows the abyss like the back of her hand and has seen things nobody who hasn’t been down there could ever comprehend. She’s a mystery, I spent three months with her and still don’t know much about her. But she’s also kind. Skirk didn’t have to help me. She could have just ignored me and left me to fend for myself. But she took me under her wing and helped me. Taught me how to survive and how to adapt. How to fight. I wouldn’t be here today without her. And anytime I died, she’d make sure no creature would eat me…”

“I’m sorry, what?” Artyom asked, eyes wide.

“Ah. In the abyss, you can get killed and if you… you know. Don’t get eaten by a predator, you just get back up like… half an hour later or so. I, uhm, don’t remember how often that happened to me. Dozens of times. Even with my master to guide me, especially after getting my vision, I sometimes got a bit too cocky…” The former fatuus sighed, right hand rubbing over his chest as if he could still feel remnants of the pain. Morax wanted to kiss him better.

“But as I said, I’m technically immortal now. There isn’t really anything strong enough up here in the overworld that it could properly kill me. Except an archon, maybe. But anything else… Especially when I’m able to defend myself. I’m already fast with my vision, but my foul legacy makes me even faster.”

“I want to spar with you again sometime. A little more unrestrained than the last time,” Morax said quietly, twisting the short ginger hair around his finger distractedly.

Ajax laughed, bringing his left hand up to his lips and kissed the back of his hand. “Oh absolutely. I want to go up against you with my foul legacy. See how I fare against the warrior god, geo archon with an invincible shield.”

“Well, without shield. With shield it wouldn’t be exciting, you wouldn’t stand a chance. My shield stands as long as I do. So as long as I’m still breathing, it won’t falter,” the god assured, grinning softly. “But I loved our last spar, it was fun. Finally someone who can keep up with me.”

Another kiss to the back of his hand, warm affection spreading through his chest. “It was. I’m not used to people keeping up with me either, and with you I don’t have to worry about anything. We definitely need to repeat that.”

“We will. We have all the time in the world to do so.” Morax confirmed and bent down to press a kiss on top of the soft hair.

“Now that you’re telling us these things, your behaviour back then makes a lot more sense,” Nastja said softly, clasping her teacup.

“I tried to tell you. But you all didn’t want to listen. I tried to tell you that I just spent three months fighting vicious beasts in a highly toxic environment. That I died over and over again and just got back up even though I’d just endured horrible, painful deaths. But you didn’t want to hear it.

You kept thinking I got my vision for having to defend myself in the forest for three months. That this messed with my head. So of course, I acted out. And then gave up, eventually. I could have tried to prove things by showing you my foul legacy, but I… I was scared you would see me as a monster and no longer want to have me around. So I thought it’d be better if you all just think I went insane.

And then whenever I was home, it just… It felt like I was in the wrong place. Like you all couldn’t wait for me to leave again because you always looked so uncomfortable and always talked like you kept thinking about not saying anything to tick me off or make me start talking about such things again. So of course it made me sad.

When Yulia, Irina and I talked they said that you guys all felt like I was the one distancing myself. Which I surely did, because I felt like that. I-I spent so long trying to suppress my feelings completely. And I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to feel like a part of the family again.

But that’s not my call. At least not mine alone. I can understand if you, even if you’re in Liyue now, would prefer to… keep your distance to me, knowing what you know now. I will respect your decision…”

Morax could feel how Ajax’ hand was shaking while drawing along the geo patterns on his own hand. He caressed over the younger mans scalp, hoping to calm him down a little bit. Ajax always made him calm down quickly, so he hoped he was able to do the same.

“That’s not at all what we want. We’ve always missed you, Yasha. But we didn’t know how to fix things…” Nastja said with a sigh, her husband next to her nodding along silently.

He wondered where that name came from. Ajax had told him that Ajax was his real name. But now, his family members called him Yasha. It sounded affectionate and sweet, maybe it meant something in the snezhnayan language?

But then, due to the sigils placed on all of them, he should know what it meant. The sigils made it so they still heard the original words that were spoken but would know what they mean even if they didn’t understand the words. So if it was a snezhnayan word, he would know the meaning behind it. Well, a secret to be solved later. Or maybe, something that wasn’t even his to know.

“I think we adults just reacted completely wrong back then. And we should have made an effort to mend things much sooner,” Ilya said.

“I mean I could have made more effort too,” Ajax hurried to say.

“No. You were a child. A deeply traumatized child. And we pushed you away. Instead of being the safe, warm home that you needed to calm down and letting you speak about what happened to you, we made you feel unwelcome. And this is something I will never forgive myself for,” the older man replied, shaking his head.

“Dziadzi, no,” Ajax said softly. “It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” Maryana agreed, Ajax’ older sisters nodding. “We should have treated you better.”

“I wondered so long why you didn’t stay home longer,” Tonia said quietly next to her brother. She’d been silent since the beginning of the conversation, cuddled up in a blanket. “Because you felt miserable when you were there.”

“I didn’t feel miserable around you, princess. You and the boys were the reason why I kept coming, even when I no longer felt welcome. I would do anything for you. And I guess it really was all just one big, convoluted misunderstanding. I… probably felt so insecure myself, that everything seemed much worse than it was. So I pulled back. And that made things even worse. We all made our mistakes in this. But I would love it if we could… you know. Get stronger out of this.”

“We will. Our bond will be tighter than ever. We will all make an effort. Right?” Nastja asked, looking at everyone. Smiling pleased when there was nodding all around. “And that includes our new family members as well. Seeing as Zhongli and his mother now belong to our family as well. And from what I’ve heard, Guizhong is like a sister to him, so that would include her too. And Katya, being close to Ajax, as an honorary member of the family as well.”

Katya flushed a little. “You don’t have to. It’s fine…”

“It’s not fine, young girl. I’ve heard that you mention that you have no one of your own. I will not have this. You are a honorary Ivanova from this day on.” Nastja said firmly, clearly not letting anyone argument against it.

“Thank you,” Katya said with a soft laugh, clearly endeared by her words.

The woman looked at her expectantly. “How old are you?”

“23 years old,” she replied quickly.

“See? Around two years younger than Ajax, I didn’t have another child until Tonia, who is almost 15 years old now. Fits perfectly in between, nobody’s going to notice. Well, except the hair. Maybe we can dye it,” Nastja said a little teasingly, making Katya laugh. “Ekaterina Ivanova is a little bit of a mouth full, but it sounds nice…”

“Ekaterina Fatua was a little shorter, but I am no longer allowed to call myself that anyways, seeing as I was kicked out.”

“Ha, god of contracts, get the adoption contract ready,” Ilya said with a chuckle. “Nastja is about to acquire a fourth daughter.”

“Hey, I have five boys and three girls, it’s only fair if we even things out a little!” His daughter insisted. “I will gladly do that, though we should get to know each other a little bit better before that, shouldn’t we? Then, I will gladly make you my fourth daughter.”

“Oh trust me, you’ll get along just fine,” Ajax piped up.

“You’d be fine with that?” Katya asked him, blinking surprised.

“Yeah, sure. I wouldn’t mind. You’d have a family. A big, loud, sometimes annoying one. But they’re easier to deal with than I was when I was your boss still, I promise,” he said teasingly, looking a lot more relaxed than a few minutes ago.

“Ha, child’s play then,” the former secretary replied.

It was only now slowly starting to sink in that Ajax’ mother had talked about him as well. She was really going to accept him as part of the family? Even after knowing who he was? Ah. She knew who he was. So of course, saying anything but this was out of the question, wasn’t it? They wouldn’t want to offend him.

Maybe he would be able to have a few words with her in a while, tell her that it’s fine to speak her mind around him and that he won’t pull away his support if they don’t really approve of him being with Ajax. Of course he’d want them to approve, so he’s going to try his best and show how much he loves him, hoping it’ll be good enough for his family…

Chapter Text

A little while later, Ajax and Katya had decided to go and get their things from their fatui apartments. Better to be early and get everything than having other people clearing them out for them, Ajax had said. They both insisted that they didn’t have many things, so they wouldn’t need help.

Everyone had went to do their own thing after the family talk had finished. A little aimlessly, he’d wandered into the kitchen, thinking of starting dinner. Getting a little sidetracked when he realized he didn’t know anything about the preferences of Ajax’ family. He didn’t want to make them food they wouldn’t like. Didn’t want them to feel like they had to eat it, because he had made it, scared of offending a deity.

That’s why he also didn’t want to go and ask Nastja, because he was worried she would insist that anything would be fine or even insist on cooking. He groaned. Why did things have to be so complicated? They would be easier if he was just a normal person. But he wasn’t, and there would always be people who couldn’t bear to treat him like he was.

Even if the other adults had treated him a little guarded – understandable, of course – at least the three younger siblings had treated him like he was just some guy. Their brothers boyfriend, but just some guy. But now that they knew, they’d probably change their behaviour accordingly, too. The god sighed.

“I’m sure it’s exhausting, dealing with so many people in your home.”

Morax looked up, seeing Ajax’ mother standing in the doorway. He quickly shook his head. “Ah, no, no. I was just wondering what to make for dinner so that everyone would like it.”

“We luckily don’t have picky eaters. Most Snezhnayans can’t afford to be picky,” she replied, shrugging.

“Enjoying food and tolerating it are two different things, I’d prefer if I’d be able to serve you something you would enjoy. But I’m afraid, I only know how to make Blini and Pelmeni. All other recipes I know are liyuen.”

“I’m sure they’ll find that exciting. From what I’ve seen and heard, they very much loved the food yesterday evening. We are all very thankful for your generosity, your excellency. Ah, I apologize if that’s not the proper way to address-“

“Please don’t. Please.” Morax said, trying not to sound like he was begging her. “I’ve spent over half of my life being Rex Lapis and being called every title and honorific under the sun. I’m tired of it. And even if I wasn’t, I would never want my partner’s family to speak to me like that. I don’t want to be treated any different than how you would have treated anyone else. I only revealed my identity because I wanted you to be able to trust me, because I understood that you’d likely be suspicious of me.”

Nastja moved over, sitting down by the counter, brushing her bangs out of her eyes in a gesture that was so much alike the way Ajax did it. “Well, I have to be honest. It was a bit strange, and I was a bit concerned. Meeting you for the first time, hearing that you’d barely gotten together a few minutes before you showed up at our house. Then you making these offers and alluding to you being some powerful being. Of course I worried what Ajax has gotten himself into now.”

“Like any mother would. I’m sure mine wouldn’t be any different if things were the other way around.” He replied easily.

“Mhm, I’m sure she would. She seems to be very caring. Just like I am, normally. Things with Ajax have been difficult, as you know, and I felt he didn’t want me to show my care anymore. How wrong I was, huh?”

Morax took out some knives, deciding on making a few different dishes, so people could pick what they want. “Misunderstandings are a normal part of life. Trust me, I’ve had more than plenty of them in my life.”

“What, that even happens to someone like you?” Nastja asked, laughing softly.

He hummed, taking out some tofu and slicing it into cubes. “Oh, absolutely. In my youth, I wasn’t really interested in humans. I was… very different, then. Very much a dragon, wild and uncaring of the fleeting things that humans were. Just how a human does not take much notice of the life of an insect.

I grew up on Mt. Aocang, quite a bit away from the human villages, as they avoided the valleys called Nantianmen and Jueyun Karst, because they were the sacred grounds of the adepti. Humans only came through on special occasions, to give thanks for the help of the adepti or to ask for blessings. I didn’t have all that much experience with humans until I met Guizhong during the archon war, and we teamed up and led the guili assembly together. She was the one who taught me about humans and who showed me how fascinating they can be… Ah, I digress.

Well, seeing as it took me until I was well into my teens to even regularly see humans, it took me a long time to understand them. And seeing as they are ever-changing and people from different regions have different customs and experiences too… Plenty of chances for misunderstandings. Even with Ajax. Especially with Ajax, considering I have no experience in the matters of the heart.”

“Can I help with anything for dinner? I would like to get to know you a little better,” the ginger woman said, determined smile on her face that was reminiscent of the way Ajax smiled in face of a challenge. Like when they had sparred together.

“If you’d like to, of course. I settled on making a few different dishes. Here, let me show you how to take the seeds out of lotus heads, we’ll need them for the jewelry soup.” He quickly moved, taking out the lotus heads, putting down a cutting board and carefully showed her how to remove the seeds.

She watched him intently, then tried it herself while he watched. Looking satisfied when she got it right at the first try. Morax went back to slice more tofu.

“So… What are your intentions with my son?” Nastja asked, lightly grinning. “You made it sound like you’re planning to stay by his side for all eternity.”

“That is my plan, if he lets me. In the end, it’s his choice. As I mentioned, I won’t ever fall out of love. But I know that he can, and probably will one day. I… I’m just enjoying things while they last. Take what he wishes to give me, and give him everything he lets me give in turn. I want to make him happy, and I will do anything for it. Dragons are known to be possessive lovers, but when one day the thing making him happy will be to never see me again, then I will let him go,” he said softly, frowning.

It hurt, thinking that one day Ajax might not want him anymore. But that was just how things could go, he was human, it was nothing he could consciously avoid. And he knew Ajax would never do it to hurt him. “He is the greatest treasure of my life, and I strive to make it known to him every single day.”

“You’d think becoming an archon is your greatest treasure. He has always been terribly stubborn. He gets that from his father. Well, I like to say that, but I am a bit stubborn myself, so he probably gets it from the both of us. He seems happy. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he manages to hold onto this happiness for millennia to come.”

Morax shook his head. “I’d trade that in a heartbeat for him.”

“Huh. You’d think someone who has fought so hard in the archon war to receive this power would do anything to keep it,” she said, making a thoughtful noise while putting the lotus seeds into a small bowl.

“I didn’t participate because I wanted power. Well, in a way. But… Not like others did. I did not wish for dominion. But my father gave his life protecting villagers in the archon war, and I… I couldn’t stand by and watch some tyrant take the title and make the common folk suffer. So I joined the fight, even if I was only a young adeptus at the time. Comparatively, around Tonia’s age.

 By the time it was over, I wasn’t even a proper adult yet. Barely an adult. Acting older than I was, hoping nobody would notice. Acting as if I know everything, when there was so much I didn’t know. It made me act stiffer and more stuck-up than I actually am. I felt like I wasn’t really allowed to have fun anymore. My time was spent leading my people and learning more about everything, so I would be better able to lead them.” He explained, pulling snapdragon petals off the flower.

Nastja looked at him curiously. “What about your friends? Didn’t they come and make sure you have some fun? Take some time off to actually enjoy life?”

“I had almost no friends left at the time. I lost many in the archon war. Guizhong befriended me during the archon war, but she… well, we thought she died but she only returned to her original form as a dust sprite. But we only found that out very recently.

Another friend, I had to seal away because his mind started to deteriorate, forgetting our friendship and our contract. Another used up all his powers to revitalize the land and is no longer able to speak because it took such a toll on him that he diminished his physical form and mental capabilities.

And the adepti that I befriended… Those that are still alive, that is, see me as Rex Lapis first and foremost. Which is why I appreciate Ajax’ friendship so much. It was so easy to spend time with him, because at first he didn’t know who I was. And then, even when he knew, it was still easy.”

With a mischievous grin on her lips, the woman leaned a little more over the counter. “What exactly do you like about my boy? What made you fall for him?”

Morax could feel warmth rise into his cheeks. “Love at first sight,” he admitted. “I saw him walk down from the ship, and he was just… incredibly attractive. He has a beautiful face, and he did this little boyish grin that he does sometime, introducing himself to me and his voice sounded so nice… It hit me like a lightning strike.

Slowly, I got to know him better, got to see how generous and kind he is. How smart, hardworking and how much he loves trying and learning new things. Then I got to know him even closer, learnt about the things he hid behind a mask, the things he didn’t want anyone to see. And what a beautiful soul it is, sweet and gentle and loving. How could I not fall in love with him more and more almost every day?”

“But there’s also a darkness behind it all,” Nastja said softly, but smiling at his words.

“There is. He has gone through terrible experiences. Has felt lonely and abandoned for a long time. It’s something I can relate to, with my experiences during and after the archon war. We both have our insecurities around who we really are, both worried we will be too much or not enough for the other. It’s all still new and so fresh and we’re slowly figuring things out, trying our comfort levels and boundaries.

Dragons and qilin both are quite affectionate, dragons are possessive. You can imagine what that means, being with me. Naturally, I worry that I will be too much for him. Too clingy, too touchy, too many hugs and kisses. I don’t want him to become annoyed with me, so in my mind I’m constantly battling with myself. With what I want and what I fear.

I want to hold him, but then part of me fears he won’t want it, so I hold myself back. But I really want to touch him, so I do it after all, then I’m worried he’s annoyed with me because of it. But so far, he’s always insisted that he likes me being like that.”

“I noticed something earlier,” she said, tapping the knife against the bowl.

“Oh?” He couldn’t help but worry. Had she seen something that he didn’t? Some sign of discomfort that he didn’t catch because he didn’t know him well enough yet? Had he really been too much when he had pulled him back onto the couch? Or maybe he had felt embarrassed about it in front of his family. Morax had thought that he had made himself comfortable against him, but maybe Ajax had felt pressured into it?

“He looks at peace when he’s with you. That… constant restlessness that seemed to cling to him is gone. He looks relaxed and at ease. And trust me, looking at him, it is clear as day that he very much loves cuddling with you or just being close to you. You seem to bring him a great deal of comfort and happiness. That much is obvious to me.”

Morax looked at her, stunned by her words. Was it really like that, and so obviously so? Did Ajax really enjoy it so much and so visibly?

“You didn’t expect that. But I can assure you, he’s craving your closeness just as much as you crave his. And looking at him, how he looks at you? I have zero doubts that his love will last. He loves you so much, he looks at you as if you are the sun itself. And I do know my son a little, seeing how you look at him? He will never want to let that go. He isn’t a fool. And he would be an utter fool to let you go.”

“I-I mean falling out of love isn’t a choice,” he said hurriedly. “It just happens for humans.”

“It can. But not if you fall in love anew every day with the one that you’re with.” She said, smiling warmly.

“Ah, that’s what I said about him, not-“

“Trust me, it goes both ways. I have eyes,” she chuckled, placing the last lotus seeds in the bowl and pushing it towards him. “And I have seen very clearly how he looks at you. How he looks when he talks about you. How absolutely proud he looked when he introduced you as his boyfriend.”

“He-He did?” Morax asked, feeling a little breathless.

“Oh and how he did. Ready to climb Zapolyarny Palace and announce his love for you to the whole nation,” she laughed. “How many humans can say that they are beloved by an archon? Though, I don’t think that that’s the point of it. No, he’d be just as proud if you were just some regular man. Because it’s you, and he’s utterly and completely in love with you. With the whole of his heart and soul. Because that’s how snezhnayan people love.

So I do not think that your draconic love will be too much for him, my dear. If anything, it makes him thrive. Like a shriveled potted plant that finally gets a new pot, some new soil and water and a spot closer to the window. He looks a lot more lively already, I haven’t seen him smile like that in forever.

He comes alive with your love. And you, very obviously, do just the same with his love. Lighting up like a burnt out candle, revived by a spark.”

The adeptus stared at her for a moment, completely stunned. Was that really what Ajax – what they both – looked like to someone else? Was their love and care for each other that visible? And even more so, the depth of their love? Which was a curious thing, considering how deeply they both loved each other already, when they had only gotten together. So how much deeper would it become, now that they were a couple?

The sound of the kitchen door opening ripped him out of his thoughts. “Oh, it’s you two,” Ajax said, visibly perking up at seeing them.

Nastja smiled, waving at him. “Done already?”

“I didn’t have many things in that apartment. Just some clothes and some knick-knacks mostly. I never really made myself at home there, so packing up was just a matter of a few minutes,” the man explained. “Are you helping with dinner? I’ll help too.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, aren’t you tired? It was an exhausting day,” Morax said softly. Not that he didn’t want him here, of course he did. But he also wanted him to get enough rest.

Ajax walked over to him, put a hand onto his shoulder and stood on his tiptoes, pressing a kiss onto his cheek. “I’m fine, I promise. You know I like cooking with you. What are you making?”

“I was thinking jewelry soup, fried radish balls, minty meat rolls and some jueyun chili chicken.” He replied, cheek feeling warm and tingling where Ajax had kissed. Gods, he loved him so much.

“Sounds amazing. Quite a bit of work, but with the three of us, we’ll have that done soon. You two got along while I was out?” Ajax asked, humming softly while taking out a chopping board and knife, starting to chop the radish.

“We did,” Nastja said, smiling at him. “I’m looking forward to getting to know him better over time.” She bent over, whispering something in his ear that made Ajax blush dark, but he nodded nevertheless.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” he told her softly.

Morax couldn’t help but wonder what it was, and Ajax must have seen his questioning gaze because he blushed even more. “She just said that you’re a keeper, and that I should never let you go again. As if I didn’t already know that,” he said, chuckling.

“Ah,” he replied, intelligently. Heart beating fast.

“And as if I already wasn’t determined to never let you go,” he added.

Oh Celestia, this man would be the death of him.

Chapter Text

Ever since Ajax had come back after being lost in the forest for three days, Nastja had hoped he would one day find someone who would be able to make him feel calm and safe. Because he constantly seemed to be on edge, constantly ready to strike, the smallest things setting him off in violent outbursts.

Years later, she finally learnt the truth. Even if it hurt, knowing how wrong they had all been. She felt that she had failed as a mother. Failed to protect her son and failed to provide him a safe, warm home.

She had been very surprised when he brought Zhongli with him and introduced him as his boyfriend. Immediately, she noticed that something was different about her middle son, how he seemed so much calmer than last time he had visited. And the way he looked at the brunette man next to him, full of love and pride, his blue eyes rimmed with a red eyeliner.

Zhongli was a beautiful man. Long, brown and amber hair, and peculiar eyes that seemed to shift between amber and gold, rimmed by the same red eyeliner. His features were delicate, with a body that exuded both elegance and a quiet strength. Befitting the geo vision she saw dangling off a small chain fixed to the side of his belt.

He spoke in a calm, careful manner. Coming across very much as the knowledgeable man that he was introduced as. But there was something about him, about the way he spoke and the way he looked, that also hinted at there being more about him than he let on at first glance.

Which was confirmed only a little later, when he made his offer to the whole family. Alluding to him being a powerful being much older than he looked like. Powerful enough, that he was unbothered by the cryo archon. Influential enough in his own country, that he’d be able to just bring them with him and guarantee them a good life in this new land and make promises of having everything they could want and need.

A lot had happened since that offer yesterday morning. By now, it was late afternoon and she knew that Zhongli wasn’t the mans real name. No, in reality he was none other than Morax, the geo archon. An ancient dragon known for his martial prowess and vast knowledge. The god who was said to have invented Teyvat’s first currency.

It was a bit daunting. Knowledge about foreign archons was scarce in Snezhnaya. Of course she didn’t want to disrespect him, knowing that could easily cost one their life. At least that was the case in Snezhnaya, and she heavily assumed that the archons of other nations would be no different.

But this one really seemed to be different. He almost begged her not to treat him like that. Asked to be treated like anyone else, as if there was not a clear – and vast – difference in status between them. No, he wished to be treated like someone who was no different than them.

When he spoke of Ajax, his eyes lit up. Like little candles, ignited by the spark of his love for him. And how he spoke of him! There was not a single doubt in Nastja’s mind, that this man loved her son so much, that he would do anything for him. Completely and utterly in love. Which made her incredibly happy, seeing that Ajax had found someone who felt so intensely for him. He more than deserved it, after everything he went through.

Zhongli seemed to be a man who was deeply caring and kind. An overthinker, maybe, from how he had thought hard about what to make for dinner and already thinking about what to do if Ajax one day no longer wanted him.

But she was sure those worries were pointless. The way Ajax perked up when he entered the room and saw his partner spoke volumes. So did the way he looked at the brunette, and how he gently touched his shoulder to steady himself, getting up on his tiptoes to press a tender kiss onto the man’s cheek.

She had noticed it earlier too, the way that they kept tenderly touching each other. Physical contact seemed to be a great source of comfort and happiness between them. It had looked adorable, the way Ajax leaned against Zhongli’s side, idly playing with his hands while they all talked.

He was so different in the comfort of Zhongli’s presence. And there was a quiet determination when he replied to her whispers, making known that he would never let him go. She knew then and there, that he really never would, that he’d made up his mind. That however long this life of his was going to be, he was going to spend the rest of it with this man.

It made her feel at peace, too. Especially after he revealed that he would outlive them all by millennia, a possibly eternal life ahead of him. But with Zhongli by his side, who would be able to live with him just as long, she knew he would be in good hands.

Nastja kept watching them while the three of them cooked together, and it really only deepened the impressions she had gotten so far. They were sneaking little touches the whole time, whenever one passed the other they’d gently touch the back, shoulder or arm. Brushes against their hands or sides, whisps of kisses on their hair or cheeks. Little, physical proclamations of their love.

When Ajax was a child still, he had beautiful, shining blue eyes. Just like his father. The eyes that had made her speechless when her and Ivan had first met each other, when he came to buy some eggs off their family because his mother was short three eggs that day. Those stunningly blue eyed had overwhelmed her so much, that she had dropped the two eggs she had been holding at the moment.

How embarrassed she had been, thinking that surely she just made a complete fool of herself. Certainly no good as a future wife, if she stood around dropping eggs. But to her surprise, Ivan had just laughed softly, and helped her clean it up. From then on, he’d stop by to buy eggs a few more times, until one day he apparently had built up enough courage to ask her out.

When Ajax came back from the abyss, his eyes had lost the light in them. They were still a beautiful blue, but they were dull and lifeless almost. It saddened her deeply, because she had always been happy that many of her children inherited their fathers eyes.

So she was surprised when she saw him again yesterday, eyes looking brighter than they had all the years prior. They weren’t completely back to the way they used to be, but she had a feeling they would slowly but surely get there. Zhongli would bring him so much joy, that the light would return to his eyes for sure.

Watching the two being freshly in love made her feel warm. There was so much beauty in the quiet love and trust between them. She could see how relaxed they were with each other. They seemed to have a natural understanding between them.

She wouldn’t be surprised if those two would choose to show their devotion by binding themselves to each other through marriage soon. Nastja won’t hesitate to give her blessings to their union. Not because Zhongli was an archon, but because he was who he was. Because after just knowing him for a single day, she understood how much he loved her son. And what more could she ask for than someone who loved him for who he was, made him so happy and would love him and take care of him for the rest of his life?

Ajax looked so happy. He was softly humming, rolling the radish mixture into little balls and setting them on a plate. “The size is fine, right? Not that I’m breading them and then you tell me they’re too small,” he asked, looking up at the god.

“Oh yes, they’re perfectly fine,” the god replied, moving over to press a kiss against his temple.

His cheeks immediately became rosy, a soft smile on his lips. “Good,” he replied, keeping on rolling more of the radish balls.

The three of them really had made quick work of all the preparation, the dishes slowly coming together now with fragrant spices. Zhongli was skillfully tossing ingredients together in a skillet with a rounded bottom, moving it over the fire in quick movements.

She went to quickly set the table for everyone, moving around the large table in the dining room. When she looked back into the kitchen, she could see Ajax leaning back against the counter, having pulled down Zhongli into a proper kiss, one hand resting on his shoulder while the brunettes held onto the counter.

They really were a beautiful couple. There was something about their appearances that just complimented each other really well. She had never thought about what her middle son’s chosen partner might look like one day, but now that she saw them, she couldn’t imagine anyone else.

When they parted, they looked at each other lovingly, then laid their foreheads against each other. They closed their eyes for a moment, basking in their closeness. Seeing how obviously and how deeply they loved one another made even her feel warm.

“Did you miss me while I was out?” Ajax asked the god, sounding a little teasing almost.

“Of course I did. If I had my way, I’d be attached at your hip, you know that.” Zhongli admitted, kissing his forehead before moving over to check on the pans.

“I missed you, too,” Ajax said softly, looking a little shy. “It’s strange being alone after being around you so much.”

“I feel the same. I used to be completely used to being alone. I spent hundreds of years not even really seeing anyone apart from giving my people the instructions for the year. But having you in my life made things much more joyful. And it’s nice, having our families here as well. I could get used to this.”

“It is. What are your plans for my family, now that we’re all done with moving?” Her son asked, poking something in one of the pans with the long chopsticks he was holding.

“Hm? Well, I thought that they could choose between having their own houses here in the realm, similar to their setup that they had in Snezhnaya, or having them in Liyue itself. If they’d want to stay in here, I can just create another island for them to have their own houses there as big as they want them to be.

I could do another portal on that island, so they wouldn’t have to walk all the way over to this one whenever they want to exit. They could have space to garden or keep animals too, if they’d like to do that.”

“That sounds nice. But wouldn’t that bother you? This is your own private space in here, after all.” Ajax said softly, taking a sip of his teacup.

“Not at all. This place… it used to be a place that reminded me of my own loneliness. It’s why I didn’t go here often, because even if I wanted to preserve the Tianheng palace in here, it kept reminding me of all the things that never were. How the architects had planned everything big enough for plenty of guests and a large family, everything made to the highest standards and made beautifully, but it was all completely unused because I never really had guests and never had a family. Being here made me miserable,” the god admitted.

“Now it doesn’t?” Ajax asked gently, brushing his hand over Zhongli’s cheek.

“It no longer does. Now it’s a reminder of how we grew closer together and the start of our relationship. A reminder of the happiness of family and friends around me, and what it feels like to no longer be all alone in the world.”

“That sounds nice,” Ajax hummed, smiling when Zhongli turned his head to kiss his hand.

They really were cute together, how they kept exchanging little kisses and touches. As if it was second nature to them, not even thinking about it. As if there was some magnetic pull that kept pulling them towards each other.

She returned to the kitchen when she had set down the last of the plates and utensils. Ajax turned to look at her and smiled at her, and I made her happy. He had smiled around the little ones, but it had often a strained undertone, or would disappear the second they looked away. But now, he was smiling and it was beautiful and radiant, obviously genuine.

“The food is almost ready,” he told her. “I wonder what everyone will say. I’ve really come to love the food here… I used to not eat well, I usually ate in a hurry and just something, anything to keep me going… With Zhongli, I learnt to actually take my time to eat and to take joy in it again. Cooking, too. He’s teaching me more and more liyuen dishes, while I’m teaching him the snezhnayan ones.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re taking better care of yourself. You look a lot better than last time I saw you, that much is obvious. Your cheeks used to look a little sunken and you were paler than you normally were. Which is all looking much better now, you’ve gotten quite the rosy cheeks. Almost like when you were a child,” she said with a soft laugh, seeing the pink on his cheeks deepen. “Though that probably doesn’t have anything to do with the food, but rather the man beside you.”

“We’re very obvious, aren’t we?” He asked, groaning softly.

“It’s adorable. No need to hide your love. I’m happy to see how well you are with him by your side, he’s obviously good for you in many different ways. I’m glad to know that you are well taken care of, and will be long after we are gone as well.”

“Ugh, don’t talk like you’re dying soon,” Ajax said, sounding a little strained. “You’re going to make me cry.”

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention. I’m just happy that after everything, I still get to be a part of your life. You would have had all right to tell us that you no longer want anything to do with us.”

He shook his head, waving a hand dismissively. “You’re my family, I’ve always loved you guys. We just all were terrible at actually communicating.”

“We were the adults, we should have done a better job listening to you,” she insisted.

“Well, it’s understandable, it did all sound like a child’s imagination. Of course you didn’t think it was real. Even if it was frustrating, I understood why you couldn’t believe me. And when I got out, I closed up the entrance so nobody would fall down there, so I couldn’t show you that… As I mentioned, I was scared of showing you my foul legacy, because I thought you’d see me as a monster and wouldn’t want me around anymore…”

“We want to see it sometime. Not because we don’t believe you, but because it’s a part of you,” she said gently, reaching out to brush his bangs aside.

“I’m sure Zhongli won’t mind sparring with me sometime soon, then I can let loose and give you guys a good show,” he replied with a grin. “Right, my love?”

The gods cheeks turned pink at the pet name, but he nodded while moving the little balls of breaded radish in the hot oil. “Absolutely. It’ll be fun.”

“Who knows, maybe one day I’ll beat the warrior god,” Ajax teased.

“Ha, probably playing unfair, distracting me with how pretty you are,” Zhongli muttered, no malice in his voice. “As if you aren’t already very distracting when fighting.”

“I am?”

“Very. Why do you think I repeatedly dropped my transformations last time? You’re ridiculously attractive when you’re fighting and enjoying yourself.”

“Aww, well if it’s any help, you’re just as attractive. Trust me, it was hard to keep paying attention to not getting beaten within seconds.”

Nastja laughed softly at them, then ruffled Ajax’s hair a little. “I’ll go get the others and tell them dinner will be ready shortly.”

“Ah, perfect! Until then we’ll be all done.”

Nastja left the kitchen and walked towards the guest rooms, deciding to start at the top and then go from there. She knocked on room after room, gently informing everyone that dinner would be ready in just a little bit.

Everyone seemed to be in a good mood, even though the intensity of the talk they had earlier. Especially the sound of food seemed to brighten the spirits, the younger children getting excited and asking if they were going to eat more liyuen food. More than happy when she confirmed that yes, their dinner would be liyuen dishes.

She couldn’t even move her head fast enough to see the boys bolt down the hallway to the kitchen, chattering excitedly. She heard a soft, fond laugh, and she looked up to see Ivan standing at the door of their room, shaking his head as he watched their youngest run off.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” she told him.

“Must be an exciting one, when they’re running off like that.”

“Some liyuen dishes, they do smell lovely, so I’m sure they will taste good.” She confirmed.

“They’re excited about this new life.”

“They are. I think… I think I am too. Especially seeing as we’re now working out things with Ajax,” she said, brushing a stray strand of her hair out of her face.

Her husband nodded. “I agree. I just hope he may forgive me one day for the mistake that I made. I really never intended things to go like that. And I hope you can forgive me one day as well, that I’ve done that and kept it from you for all this time.”

“You were just as desperate as we all were. I do wish you would have told me sooner, but we’ll work that out. We’ve promised, didn’t we? No matter what, we shall work it out.”

Ivan stepped over and took her hand, kissing the simple iron band on her ring finger. They hadn’t been able to afford any better for their wedding thirty years ago. “We did, and I promise to do my best to make up for this and be a better person in the future.”

“Thank you. We all have things to improve on. And I’m sure he won’t hold it against you too much.”

“Hopefully. Shall we?” He gently pulled on her hand, towards the kitchen, not letting go of her until they sat down at the table with the rest of their family and new found friends.

Yes, she could get used to this.

Chapter Text

Dinner was a bit of a chaotic affair, reminding Ajax very much of how things had been when he had been a child still. People eating, chatting excitedly, sharing stories, laughing together. For the first time in forever, eating with his family felt like exactly that. Eating with his family.

He didn’t sit there quietly, not involved in conversation except when the little ones wanted to talk to him. No. Everyone kept talking to him and it didn’t feel like they felt like they had to, but that they wanted to.

It made him happy. Ajax still couldn’t believe that all of this was real, that he really was sitting here, getting everything he ever wanted handed to him on a silver platter. Friends, Family, Love. All falling into his lap, just like that.

Guizhong was currently getting a kick out of telling the ocean parasite story that she’d told Ajax that first day. She was giving it her all, trying to imitate the disgusted face Morax had pulled back then, maybe overdoing it a little for laughs.

Everyone seemed to be thoroughly entertained, while to Ajax’ left, Morax had a small grin on his lips. His hand had dropped beneath the table, gently resting on the gingers thigh. Sometimes, he’d move his hand or his fingers a little, lightly caressing him.

He looked happy and relaxed. The tiny translucent scales around his cheekbones shimmered in the light of the lanterns. Ajax reached out, brushing his fingers along them. Unsurprisingly, they felt like snakeskin. Just like Morax’ draconic form had felt. Smooth, but a slight bit of texture around the edges of the individual scale. So it was noticeable that it wasn’t skin, but actually individual scales. Their translucent bronze coloring looked pretty so close to the red of his eyeliner and the gold of his eyes.

Morax looked at him, gaze intense and warm. The hand on his thigh tightened its grip slightly, squeezing him, reassuring him of his presence. Boisterous laughter erupted around the table when Guizhong told them about Morax’ hate of seafood served in one piece – almost 4000 years after the incident.

The god chuckled himself, shaking his head. “It’s not my fault that they were terribly slimy and ugly. I have seen many creatures but I don’t think anything will ever beat those.”

Ajax popped another fried radish ball into his mouth, looking around the table. Everyone was in such a good mood. So his life really was going to be this bright and happy from now on. Surrounded by people and affection.

“Are there any plans for tomorrow?” Yulia asked, looking at Morax curiously.

“Nothing in particular. I thought you would probably like a day to rest and settle. Paperwork or anything of the sorts isn’t urgent. Then we can discuss living arrangements, do some sightseeing, anything.” He replied, then hummed thoughtfully. “Though, I might go out for a little tomorrow myself. It is around this time of the year that my father passed away, and I usually go for a visit on Mt. Aocang then.”

“Can I come with you?” Lian asked softly, swallowing. Her hand came up to brush against her scale necklace.

“Of course. And… well, I wanted to ask you if you’d come along as well. I… it probably sounds dumb, seeing as he’s long dead, but I still… I would like to introduce you to him.” Morax said, looking at him, hand twitching on his thigh. He looked insecure and worried. Was he scared that Ajax would find him ridiculous for it?

Ajax smiled at him, wanting to reassure him. “I would love to. It’s not dumb at all, I think it’s lovely. I would love to meet him. Pity that I will never get to talk to him, he sounds like a great person from what you and Lian told me.”

The god perked up, visibly relieved by his words. “Thank you, that makes me very happy. He would have loved you as part of the family, I just know he would have.”

“Oh definitely, he would have taught you all the tricks with a polearm,” Lian chuckled, fond smile on her face. “He would have been excited to meet you, and he would have liked you immediately, just like I did.”

Ajax felt his face heat up at their words, warmth flooding his chest. “Thank you.”

“It’s just… He’s turned to stone. Looks like a statue, perfectly preserved after all this time. So it’s not… I mean, I don’t find it terrible to look at. It gives me peace in a way, knowing he’s still there like that,” Morax explained. “Just so you’re prepared. Because it might be more disturbing for someone who isn’t used to it. He’s just lying there, looks like he’s sleeping in his human form.”

Guizhong’s head whipped up. “What did you just say?”

“That he’s lying there like he’s sleeping in his human form?” The god blinked at her, confused by her reaction.

“He’s still there. Like that. After around 4000 years?” She asked, brows furrowed, looking completely focused.

“Yes? That’s apparently how mountain dragons pass away, they turn to stone.” Lian said. “Not that I’ve ever seen it before, but that’s what Rong did.”

“He’s not dead.” Guizhong said firmly. “Mountain dragons turn to stone and crumble to dust when they die. What you described isn’t how they die. What you described is closer to hibernating than dying.”

“W-What are you talking about?” Morax asked, voice strained. The hand on Ajax’s thigh was shaking, so he put his own on top of it.

“As the goddess of dust, I am dust itself. And as a dust sprite, I have lived for far longer than most gods in Liyue. I know how mountain dragons die, I remember them dying from when there were still many. Your father didn’t die, his body shut down. When mountain dragons get badly injured, they can turn themselves to stone. I never knew if it’s a conscious process or an unconscious one.”

“What happens when they do that, Guizhong?” Lian asked urgently, her voice shaking.

“From what I understood, it’s like sleeping. Except that their bodies are absorbing the elemental energies around them. Which of course, is often only very little at a time, so apparently they can spend thousands of years gathering energy until they have enough. And when they are full of elemental energy, able to survive whatever injury they sustained, they heal themselves and the petrification goes away.”

“So you’re saying my father is alive, just absorbing elemental energies to heal the wound that we thought killed him?”

“It has to be like that, if he hasn’t crumbled apart. That should happen within a few hours of him dying. If he’s still there, perfectly fine, then he’s alive.” The goddess confirmed.

“He didn’t say anything about this, ever,” Lian said quietly. “I mean, the way he talked, he seemed to be sure that he was dying…”

“He probably didn’t know. Considering he told me himself that there is so much that he doesn’t know about mountain dragons, that there’s many things even his parents couldn’t teach him anymore… So baba probably didn’t know he could do something like that. But how long does it take for him to become normal again? It’s been so long…”

“Well, nature does have elemental energy, but you can’t take too much else you’ll disturb everything. You’d suck it dry, leaving nothing but death. So I would say they only take very little at a time, not to disturb the natural energy flow too much and cause any harm.

But… I’m pretty convinced that with the elemental energy coming from a vision or from an archon, you’d be able to speed this process up quite a lot. You could feed pure geo energy directly into him. I don’t know if it really works, if he’d even be able to absorb that much, but it’d be worth a try,” Guizhong said, shrugging.

“I don’t know if it’s themselves being limited to how much they absorb or if they regulate how much they absorb with how much elemental energy is around them. No idea about such specifics. But you would be immediately able to tell, seeing as his state should change within minutes. I’m sorry, you never mentioned any specifics about your father’s death, else I would have told you sooner.” She looked away, worrying her lip between her teeth.

“It’s not your fault,” the god said gently. “You shouldn’t feel bad. Thank you so much for telling us, for knowing this. It means we can go and try, and maybe we’ll be lucky. Even if it feels surreal even thinking about it, seeing as I’ve already got so lucky to have you and my mother back.”

Guizhong gave him a wobbly smile, still looking like she regretted not being able to help sooner. Morax got up, walked a few seats over to where she sat and gently hugged her from behind. “Thank you.

She smiled, leaning into the hug. “Who would have thought I’d be able to help you get both of your parents back, huh? And that thousands of years after I kind of died.”

“I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad I still have you in my life. You’re like a sister to me,” the god said gently, hugging her tighter before letting go.

“We’re not waiting until tomorrow, are we?” Lian asked. “We should go immediately, no?”

“We should.” Morax replied.

Shortly after, they stood where they had just a little while ago, on the day where they found Lian. It was already quite dark, so they brought some lanterns with them to light their way. Zhongli had changed back into his mortal disguise, a precaution in case anyone was close by and would see them.

“Flying us up there won’t be possible, there’s surely some treasure hunters in the area. Possibly even some adventurers, seeing as people have been coming around here more frequently in recent years. But I can transport us upwards with a stone platform,” Zhongli said, moving his hands and creating a short platform right at the side of the mountain.

The god stepped on it and motioned them over. Lian and Ajax stepped on it and Zhongli reached out to hold onto them, steadying them before the platform started to rise along the mountainside, moving up smoothly like the elevator at Wangshu Inn.

He could feel Zhongli’s hand shake where it held onto his arm. When he looked at him, the god gave him a wobbly smile. “Don’t worry, just nervous about this…” he murmured when he saw how Ajax looked at him.

“I’m here with you.” The ginger assured. Not that it was much help, probably. But the other man did say that he helped him calm down usually, so maybe he did so now as well by just being here.

A tender kiss was pressed to his temple. “I know. That’s why I’m not completely losing my composure right now. Thank you.”

“Anything for you,” Ajax said gently.

Zhongli smiled at him, eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. He really was happy, even if he was nervous about what this evening would bring for him. Lian looked nervous as well, turning the scale on her necklace between her fingers, caressing it gently.

He really hoped that Guizhong’s words would turn out to be true. They deserved to have Rong back. So much. They would be overjoyed, they’d be a family again after all these years. After such a long time of feeling lonely, Morax would have both of his dearly beloved parents back. They both would have their families back, all within just two days.

The platform came to a stop when they reached the top of the mountain. Ajax had never been on Mt. Aocang before, only at the bottom of it when they came here looking for Lian. It was quite the striking sight, with the small lake in the middle of it, large rock formations on the outside, almost forming a protective ring around the mountaintop.

There were many trees and bushes, and in a little island in the middle of the lake there was a stone table with stone stools. Stone stairs led up into a cave into the tallest rock formation, statues of frogs and adeptal mechanisms around. The view down into the valleys was stunning, a thin layer of fog separating them from the world below.

“It looks a little different. The lake was only a pond back then,” Lian said softly. “And our house is gone.”

“Yeah, the cave now houses an adeptal abode. A friend of mine lives here, Cloud Retainer. She’s made it her own place in the middle of the archon war, and I did not have the heart to tell her to leave. A long time ago I told her about baba, but I told her she could stay. She’s in her abode all the time anyways, she rarely leaves.”

Lian made a thoughtful noise, looking around.

“Over here,” Zhongli said softly, leading them to the edge where they climbed one of the rock formations. On top of it was grass and a lone ginkgo tree stood there, branches swaying in the evening breeze.

And under the tree laid a statue. He really did look as if he was sleeping, laying on his side with his eyes closed. What little Ajax could make out from where he stood, his face had the same elegant look as Morax’ did. He could make out long, long hair. The front parts of it were pulled back into a thin ponytail, leaving his face exposed, the rest of his hair was open and spread over the ground and his body.

Both of his arms were angled one of them more towards his head, but in front of it, the other in front of his stomach. The way his arms and hands were positioned made him think that maybe, he held the hands of Lian and Morax when he turned to stone. It would fit the way his fingers were angled.

Lian dropped to her knees by his head, her hand immediately slotting between Rong’s fingers, confirming his thoughts. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she was taking shaking breaths. “It’s been so long, but I’m still-“

Zhongli dropped to his knees as well, taking his other hand. Ajax carefully knelt down next to him, putting his hand on his shoulder. Showing him he was there. “It hasn’t been that long for you, mama,” he said gently, voice strained. “So of course the hurt would still be overwhelming.”

“Do you think… Do you really think she was right? That we can get him back? Be a family again?” She asked, wiping at her eyes with her other hand.

“We will try. I do hope it does turn out to be true…” He took a shivered breath, closing his eyes for a moment. A small geo sigil appeared, a geometric array branching out from it and building into an intricate circular pattern.

After just a moment, his eyes opened wide.

“What is it?” Lian asked, looking at him worried.

“I-… I can feel the energy getting absorbed. It’s… If there wasn’t anything, I wouldn’t feel it. But I can feel it, like sand running through my fingers.” He whispered and Ajax could feel him shaking.

Her eyes widened as well. “It’s working?”

“It’s working,” the god confirmed.

“Should I… Should I help, too? Or would hydro be no good for him? I-I mean you’re probably strong enough to do it all by yourself as an archon, forget it, I don’t know what I was thinking…” Ajax murmured, shaking his head. Why did he tend to voice his dumbest thoughts in the presence of Zhongli’s parents?

“If you want to? If you feel up to it. I’m sure it would help, getting elemental energy from two sources at the same time. But don’t overexert yourself, please?” Zhongli looked at him lovingly and he completely forgot what he had just been worrying about. It wasn’t a dumb idea. His boyfriend appreciated him wanting to help. Maybe it would speed up the process a little.

So Ajax put his other hand on Rong’s arm, towards his elbow and concentrated on his vision. Drawing hydro energy from it, he carefully let it flow to his hand, then felt it being sucked away, like someone who was severely dehydrated frantically drinking water.

He didn’t know how long they kept at it, Zhongli applied the realm key sigil in the process as well, just to make sure he had it in case it would really work. But they kept waiting for something, anything. The moon was already in the sky, the wide expanse of Liyue’s clear and starry sky above them.

Suddenly, Lian gasped. “Look!”

It took him a moment in the dim light of their lanterns and the moon above, but then he saw it. Slowly, the grey started to fade away. Then, he felt it. How the stone he was touching started to feel thinner and thinner, until he could feel the distinct feeling of skin and taut muscle under his fingers.

And with a gasp, the man came to life. Eyes snapping open, his body rising a little into a half sitting position, taking rushed, gasped breaths.

“Everything is alright, beloved,” Lian said softly, surging forwards to hug him, almost knocking him over.

“Lian,” the man croaked, letting go of Zhongli’s hand and wrapping his arms around her tightly.

She hugged him close, desperately sobbing into his shoulder. She sounded so heartbroken, it made Ajax tear up himself as well. Just knowing how desperately they had missed him, and how happy they must be to see that he was indeed still alive after all these years. He reached up to wipe at the edge of his eyes, catching Zhongli watching him.

“Thank you,” Zhongli whispered, reaching for his hand and pressing a kiss onto his knuckles.

“What for?” Ajax asked, confused.

“For helping. For coming along. For being my rock against the crashing waves when I feel overwhelmed. If you weren’t here with me, I wouldn’t be this calm.”

Ajax felt his cheeks go hot, pulled his hand back while holding onto the gods’ hand and kissed his knuckles as well.

“What-What happened?” Rong asked, still sounding a bit rough.

“The war is long since over. We thought you died. Turns out you were just gathering your strength for millennia… It’s a long story, my love. We only just found out that this is something dragons can do, and that you might not be dead after all. And here you are,” Lian explained, now moving back and holding him at arms length, looking at him.

And really, Lian had been right. Zhongli and Rong had identical eyes, both the same striking bright gold. There could never be any doubt that these two men were father and son. Okay, maybe brothers, considering Rong looked quite young, just like Lian did as well.

“Morax-?” He asked her, looking a little frantic.

She smiled, nodding towards Zhongli. Rong’s head whipped around, eyes widening when he saw his son. “Morax,” he whispered, reaching out to pull him closer. Zhongli almost collapsed on top of him, hugging his father for the first time in several thousand years.

“Baba,” the god whispered, holding onto him tightly. “I missed you so much, baba.”

“I may not have been conscious all this time, but I do feel like I have missed you two for a terribly long time as well,” the older man replied gently, carefully caressing his son’s hair. “However the story behind this goes, I am glad that we get to be together again.”

Chapter Text

He was feeling completely overwhelmed. When they found his mother, he had desperately tried to keep things together. But now? Seeing his father again after the pain of being there in his last moments, the relief of having both his parents back washed over him. His father gently petted his hair and started to purr for him, comforting him with the gentle rumble as he pressed his face into his fathers shoulder. It had been thousands of years since he’d heard it.

Morax had always adored his parents, so their loss had shaken him to his core. Maybe, if they had been around still, he never would have lost himself the way he did during the archon war. Maybe how desensitized he became was partially due to their loss, his overwhelming grief and his own anxiety and restlessness, having to fight night and day to stay alive.

“I’m so glad you survived,” his father murmured into his hair, kissing his hair. “My precious son, how happy I am to see you.”

“Baba,” he whined softly, almost feeling like a child again. Hiding against his fathers broad chest and shoulders, where nothing in the world could harm him. Where he knew safety and comfort in abundance.

But there was someone else, someone so important that he couldn’t wait another minute. He slowly pulled away, wiping at his eyes where the tears threatened to spill down his cheeks. “Baba, I want to introduce someone to you.” He said, reaching back until he felt Ajax’ arm and gently pulled him forwards. Ajax shuffled forwards on his knees a bit awkwardly, ducking his head shyly.

“Baba, this is Ajax. My loved one.” He said carefully, smiling at his partner. He was sure that his father would love him. How could anyone not love him? But he still felt nervous. His fathers eyes widened with surprise, looking at Ajax.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Ajax said, bowing his head politely.

“No need to be so formal, the honor is all mine. Please, call me Rong.” His father said with a gentle smile, his voice still sounding a little bit rough. He hadn’t spoken in thousands of years, after all.

“Thank you,” Ajax said quickly, smiling as well.

“We should go back to my realm. Baba should eat and drink, so he can properly recover. I’m sure elemental energy isn’t all he needs after several thousand years. Do you think you can stand? I’ll help you.”

His father nodded, carefully standing up, even if a little wobbly. Morax immediately went to his side to help steady him, making his father laugh. “You’re so short! Is that just your disguise or are you really still this short, little Mora?”

“It’s my disguise. I make myself about a head shorter, so I don’t stick out between the humans. They used to not know that I’m not one of them. Now, they only know that I’m an adeptus, but they don’t really know anything else. So if we encounter any humans on our way to my realm or anytime else, please don’t call me by my real name. Call me Zhongli instead, it’s what I go by between humans,” he explained.

“Understood. So, we’re going to fly down the mountain? Let me trans-“

“No. It’s too dangerous, someone could see. And for all people know, there are no mountain dragons left. We’ll go down the way we came up, I made a platform and moved it along the mountain. The realm entrance is just a little bit ahead, just a short walk.”

He looked surprised, but nodded and let himself be led towards the stone platform. They carefully stepped onto it, and he turned around to assure himself everyone was there. Ajax smiled at him, reaching out to put his hand onto his free arm.

Morax smiled back at him, slowly letting the platform descend the side of the mountain. His father looked around in wonder, first looking at how the platform moved down and then turned his head to look at the landscape around them.

“It’s all so different,” he whispered. “Not at all how I remember it.”

“It’s been a long time. The geography shifted a lot during the archon war. Even I don’t know where some of the old mountains have gone, and most of the difference you see is my own fault,” Morax admitted softly. He’d moved so much of the ground and the mountains around after all, Liyue’s mountain ranges and valleys were testament to the battles he fought.

“You did that? How? Mountain dragons do possess powers of stone and earth, but that’s… that’s an entirely different power.”

“I-“ he took a deep breath, Ajax’ hand on his arm squeezed gently. “Since we last saw each other… a lot happened. Of course a lot happened, it’s been thousands of years. Around 4000 years. After you died, I joined the battle for Liyue.”

“You fought in the archon war? You could have gotten yourself killed! I fought only because I didn’t want innocent people to die while the gods battled for dominance.” His father sighed, one hand rubbing over his face. “Did the one you supported with your power win at least? They must have been good, we didn’t raise our son to support a tyrant…”

“I didn’t support anyone. I fought by myself. I didn’t join forces with anyone until I met a goddess by the name of Guizhong, who managed to befriend me. But she got injured as well, and until recently I thought she had died. So afterwards it was me fighting by myself again, supported by some adepti.”

“The archon war was a war of gods. A young adeptus had no place in that,” he replied, and someone who didn’t know him would have probably thought he was getting angry.

But he knew better. This strained tone of his voice didn’t mean anger, it was worry. Being scared for his only child’s life thousands of years later, even though they stood side by side now, Morax clearly having survived and being well.

“A young adeptus didn’t participate for long. But the god of geo did. The warrior god did. Who would later become the god of contracts, wealth and commerce… And the god of geo persevered through it.”

“You ascended to godhood during the archon war?” Golden eyes fixed him, the same as his own. How often had he wondered what they’d look like when they would hear everything that had happened? When they heard of all the things he had done, for better or worse?

He nodded. “I did. A god of many things, over time.”

“You could have gotten hurt,” his father said softly, voice cracking slightly. “You probably got hurt. You could have died. What would your mother have done without you?”

“We lost each other in the chaos. I sealed myself in a cave at the foot of the mountain, hoping if he did survive he would end up finding me. But he thought I was dead. We only reunited a few days ago, when his friend mentioned she had heard a legend about a qilin sealed in Mt. Aocang,” his mother explained, taking her husband's hand in hers.

“I’ve been more or less alone all that time. When people respect you, it can be hard to make friends because they have their expectations of you. Of how you behave all the time. And I… have not really had the heart to upset people. During the archon war, I started to act much older and wiser than I actually was. And then I just had to keep that up, so I wouldn’t disappoint them.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t have been that bad,” his father replied, shaking his head lightly.

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown. And with more and more people relying on me for guidance, I felt that I can’t falter, can’t show weakness. I had to be strong, confident, unwavering. Rock incarnate. Guiding Adepti and humans alike, for thousands of years.”

The platform reached the ground, they stepped off it and he made it disappear. Quickly, they walked over to the realm entrance, stepping into it.

They were quiet while walking into the palace and to the kitchen, everyone seemingly in their own thoughts. Morax was mostly thinking about how to tell his father that he had become Liyue’s archon and what he did to get here.

His father was a warrior himself, he had been the one who taught him how to use a polearm when he had still been a young child. The polearm he was still using was nothing else but a large scale replica of the one his father had handcrafted for him when he was younger, but outgrew with age. He still had the original, displayed here in the palace because it held such an emotional significance to him.

Just like with his mother, he was scared of disappointing him. What if he thought of what he did as terrible? Disappointing his mother was bad, disappointing his father was even worse. But he also deserved to know the full truth as quickly as possible.

And Morax deserved to face the consequences of his past actions. Maybe that would mean that the man that he knew as loving father – caring and soft-spoken, always a source of comfort for him – would reprimand him. Would tell him how disappointed he was of him, how he couldn’t believe what he had done just to become an archon, that this wasn’t how they had raised their son.

His mother was making tea, heating up leftover food for him in the meantime. She had guided her husband to take a seat at the counter, where he was sitting now and looking around the kitchen curiously.

While Morax hadn’t moved from where he stood just a little off to the side of the door. Arms wrapped around him and he could feel warmth pressed against his back. It took him a moment to realize that Ajax was hugging him from behind, pressing his face into the side of his neck. Holding him carefully, anchoring him in the real world so he wouldn’t float off into the vastness of his own thoughts again.

He leaned back against him slightly, bringing his hands up to hold onto the gingers’. He could feel the different rings on his fingers and for a moment he wondered if there ever would be another, more significant one. If one day, he would get to call him his husband and be married as happily as his own parents were.

But that would be Ajax’ call. He proposed once and did it all wrong. And he didn’t want him to feel pressured the slightest, so he thought it would be best if he wasn’t the one bringing it up. Ajax knew that he would never want anyone else, after all.

And Morax knew just how precious and significant marriage was to Snezhnayans. Divorce was rare and only done for major reasons, remarrying was even more rare. So if he wasted his vow on Morax, he might not ever marry again. He held onto his hands a little tighter.

“Stop worrying,” Ajax murmured lowly against his neck. “Everything will be fine.”

“How did you know?” Morax asked, squeezing his hands.

“I know you pretty well by now. You get that look in your eyes and you go stiff like a board. Like you’re going back to your old, rigid posture. Relax. Breathe. It’ll be fine.”

Morax took a deep breath, leaning into the embrace, enjoying the warmth and the feeling of Ajax around him like this. Basking in the comfort of his presence. Letting it all slowly calm him down. Then, he felt Ajax slowly place kisses down his neck, starting just below his jaw and slowly trailing down to where the bend between his neck and shoulder was.

“Better?” he asked softly, warm breath fanning over his skin.

What would he ever do without him again? The light of his life. He nodded, swallowing, unsure how he could ever express his gratitude in words. Unsure how to ever make Ajax aware of just how much he was loved.

His mother looked over at them, smiling softly. Ajax gave him a gentle squeeze, then let go of him, walking over to the counter to take a cup of tea.

“How long have you two been a couple for?” His father asked, looking at Ajax.

“Oh they’ve had an anniversary this morning,” his mother chimed in, laughing softly. “Their 24^th hour as a couple.”

The man blinked at her for a moment. “For a day?”

“Well, more than a day now,” Ajax said, taking a sip of his tea.

“Huh.” His father took the cup that mother gave him, taking a careful sip.

Morax wasn’t quite sure what to make of his reaction. The confusion must have been clear as day on his face, because his father laughed. “Don’t look like that, I didn’t mean to… devalue your relationship. I was just surprised to hear that it’s that fresh, when the two of you seem so close. I would have guessed you two to have spent at least a few decades with each other already.”

“We preferred to dance around each other for eight months because neither thought the other would ever love him,” the ginger replied easily. “So we could be going onto a year now but we preferred to make things difficult.”

“Circumstances only fell into place yesterday morning, and Ajax’ feelings were revealed. We were best friends prior to this, I guess that’s why we’re very comfortable with each other,” he added.

“The love of a dragon is unlike anything,” his father said gently. “I hope you were made aware of this beforehand.”

Morax could feel a twinge of hurt. What did he think of him? Did he really expect him to not tell Ajax? To lure him in with tricks, hiding the truth from him? “I told him, baba. I keep telling him. He’s free to leave me whenever he wants to. I will not stand in the way of his happiness.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I just don’t want you to get hurt, so it’s best if he knows what’s in store for him. It’s what I did with your mother as well.”

“You almost made me leave because you kept talking about that so much. Because you made me feel like you don’t think I really love you,” she said softly. “I know you meant well, still do. But they love each other very much. So I don’t think you need to worry about anything.”

“He’s told me, repeatedly. And that’s exactly what I want. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, being with someone who doesn’t make me feel so completely loved and cherished. Why waste my time on someone who plays stupid games, trying to tip the scales of dominance in our relationship, trying to have the upper hand and control me? Or someone who doesn’t really care about me at all, who just keeps me around until someone better comes along?” Ajax asked, looking his father straight into the eyes, dead serious.

“Why would I want anything like this, when I can have your son? When I can have someone who looks at me like I’m the most precious treasure to be found in the world. When I can feel his love in every word, every touch and every gaze? Where I am from, we take love very seriously. And when we love someone truly, we intend to stay together, through any and all difficulties life throws at our way.

Splitting up, divorcing, it’s only for the most terrible of cases where nothing can be done anymore to mend the relationship. And then, most of these people don’t ever remarry. This is how serious we are about it. This is how serious I am about your son. I intend to stay with him for however long I will be able to live.

I intend to do everything I can to have a longer life, now that I get to have him, because I want to have a life as long as possible with him. Because I feel just as possessive over him as he does over me. And I feel just as proud, wanting to show him off to the whole world. I am loved by the most beautiful, most amazing man in the whole world, and I’ll be damned if anything takes him away from me.”

Morax felt his heart beat faster at his words, warmth spreading through his body. He was so lucky. So incredibly lucky. What had he done to deserve this man? Someone so beautiful and strong, unflinchingly giving such a grand declaration of his love. He wanted to kiss him badly, until they were both breathless.

Father laughed. Warm and gentle, not mocking. He hadn’t ever heard his father mock anyone. “My, you’re quite something, aren’t you? Here I was thinking I had to worry about the two of you, but it seems my worries were not at all of any relevance. You two know exactly what you want, and it’s each other.”

“Yes,” Ajax confirmed firmly. “You don’t need to worry. I know you’re his father, of course you would worry. But I will not hurt him, I promise you this. And in Snezhnaya, where I’m from, we take promises very seriously. I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt him. I want to see him as happy as he can be.”

Mama smiled, walking past Ajax and gently ruffling his hair. “Ajax is a sweet boy. You really don’t need to worry about them, he intends to give our precious boy the world. He’s good for Morax, he soothes his soul with his very presence.”

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to upset you with my words. Morax is my precious son, so I cannot help and be overprotective, even when I haven’t been around for so long. Especially because of that, maybe.”

“It’s understandable. No offense taken,” Ajax insisted, shaking his head. “I’d be worried if you didn’t want to make sure I have the right intentions,” he added, laughing.

“He may be an adult, but for his mother and me, he will always be our baby boy.”

Chapter Text

Lian had been right. Rong was an overthinker. Well of course she was, he was her husband. But still, he hadn’t thought that he would basically immediately start worrying about their relationship. Had he made such a terrible first impression?

He couldn’t help himself, it all just burst out of him. It probably didn’t make Rong’s impression of him any better that he was disrespectful like that, monologuing at him about his love for Morax and that he wasn’t a fool who would fall out of love again. He knew exactly what he had with this man, and he never wanted anything else.

His heart was hammering away in his chest when he was finished, and it didn’t stop for a little while afterwards, when they were already all sitting around the counter. Rong was eating while the rest of them enjoyed some tea and chocolates.

Next to him, Morax made a thoughtful noise and reverted his transformation, remembering that he still kept it up even when not necessary. Ajax reached out to brush a stray strand of his long hair out of his face, getting a warm smile in return.

“Ah, so that’s what you actually look like,” Rong said softly.

Morax nodded with a smile. “Yes.”

Like this, it was even easier to compare them. Their eyes were almost the same, except for Rong’s pupils. They were a little narrower, while Morax’ looked closer to the way Lian’s were. His hair seemed to be longer than Morax’, almost sweeping the floor with it, while he knew that the god had opted to cut it above the knees so it wouldn’t bother him when sitting down or moving around. And it was difficult to determine if it was a dark, dark brown or fully black, creating a heavier contrast against his eyes. On his head sat the same cor lapis-colored horns as on Morax’.

His mouth and nose looked the same as Morax’ did, the defined sharpness of his jaw as well. His cheekbones weren’t set as high, so those were definitely Lian’s. His build was tall and broad shouldered with a slim waist. Which clearly, Morax had inherited from him, even if his father definitely was taller and broader than him. Lian looked even smaller next to him than she had next to Morax. Their voice was similar as well, though Rong’s was a bit deeper still.

All in all, Rong would have never been able to deny a paternity if he wanted to. They looked too much like each other.

Rong reached out across the counter, carefully brushing his fingers against the amber highlights on his sons bangs. “That’s new. And the hands as well.”

The god smiled softly, pulling up the sleeve of his robe a little. “It goes further. Up to the top of my shoulder, and the lines go down the side of my chest, my sides and to my back. I received those things when I was made the god of geo.”

“I can’t believe you became a god. We always felt you were destined for greatness, but this…”

“I… You know how the archon war was. It was brutal. And I… I didn’t always make the best choices. For a while, I was so struck with grief and taken over by the constant fighting that I forgot what life is worth and that every life has it’s worth. I am sorry, you did not raise me like this.”

“Morax. The archon war were extraordinary circumstances. Do you think I didn’t kill my fair share during the time I fought? Do you think that there wasn’t some small part in the back of my mind that enjoyed the challenge?” Rong asked, raising an eyebrow while he poked a radish ball with his chopsticks. “If I hadn’t constantly worried about you two, if I hadn’t been a father by that point, I might have properly participated.”

“So, you don’t think badly of me for what I’ve had to do?” Morax asked, carefully. Lian looked at him and it was obvious that she long since knew the answer herself.

“Of course not. I just got upset because I was scared. Because I don’t want to imagine how injured you could have gotten, or worse. You’re my son, you’re the thing I’m proudest of in my life. But of course, I worry about you. No matter how old you are, whether you are a baby or an adult.”

“I did get injured quite a few times. But in the end, it was fine. I survived,” Morax said softly, taking a sip of his tea.

“Of course, you did. You’re my son. I taught you well,” Rong replied with a slightly pleased grin, his sharp fangs visible.

“I still favor a polearm to this day. I actually fight with one that looks like the one you made for me when I was younger.”

“Mhm, you loved that polearm. You were so proud of it, and it made me really happy that something I made myself brought you so much joy. You were so small then, still. Ah, such an adorable child. Always so happy and content, so rarely in a bad mood. We got so lucky with you. The pride of our lives, right, my light?”

“Always,” Lian confirmed with a gentle nod, leaning against her husband.

“So, the archon war is finally over. Who became the archon of our lands? I hope someone decent, there were so many tyrants hoping to rule everyone with an iron grip… Fools obsessed with power.” Rong huffed, popping one of the radish balls into his mouth with a displeased expression.

Ajax could feel Morax’ hand reach for his, squeezing it gently. “I did,” he said softly.

Rong flinched, swallowed and started coughing when he choked on his food. Lian carefully patted his back until he had recovered. “You-You what?”

“I won the archon war for Liyue. I did retire a few months ago, so now the people are governing themselves. But I spent thousands of years looking after them, building the nation of Liyue into what it is today.”

“And what a nation it is. Considered to be the wealthiest of the world, center of the worlds trade and commerce, known for its expert craftsmanship. Liyue Harbor stands as a monument of commerce. People like me, who came here from different nations, marvel at its beauty and all the things it has in store for you when you dare to go explore,” Ajax added, remembering how he had looked around in wonder when he arrived in Liyue Harbor that first evening. It had looked impressive, with its beautiful buildings, looming tall over the sea.

Morax looked at him, giving him a warm, loving smile.

Ajax took a breath. “The people of Liyue loved their archon. Trusted in him for guidance and protection. It surprised me when I arrived here, because in my own nation, things are very different. Our queen isn’t considered benevolent, she doesn’t care about the people. All you can do is brave the harsh climate and hope not to conjure up her wrath. And if you do, begging for your life is futile.”

“I did my best to guide the people of Liyue. I fought terribly in the archon war, but I at least wanted to be an archon that you and mama would approve of,” Morax said softly.

Rong made a thoughtful noise, nodding his head. “I’m sure you did. You’re our son after all, there’s no way you would have been a cruel ruler. We raised you to be a good person.”

“I’m not though. There was a time in the archon war, where I forgot about the value of life. Where I fought like a madman- “

“And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, little Mora. You clearly feel remorse about it. A bad person would not. Even the best people might stray off their paths briefly. Especially in a time as cruel as the archon war. And you were so young still, you weren’t even an adult yet. Then you lost both of your parents and were all alone in the world. Of course, you struggled,” Rong said softly, reaching out to brush through his sons bangs.

“But I am sure I speak for the both of us when I say that we couldn’t be any prouder. You not only survived, but you also thrived. You became Liyue’s archon, and from the sounds of it you did an amazing job. I am honored to be your father.”

“Your father is right. And I am just as honored to be your mother,” Lian added with a warm smile.

He could feel Morax’ hand shake a little, so he squeezed it gently. “Thank you,” the god said softly, his voice sounded a little strained. “That means the world to me.”

When Rong was finished eating, they decided to call it a night so he could rest a little, make sure his body was fully recovered. The second that the bedroom door shut behind them, Ajax was whisked into a tight embrace.

He wrapped his arms around Morax just as tightly, hearing and feeling the deep rumble of Morax’ purr. They held each other like this for a while, the god taking shivered breaths and burrowing his face against the gingers neck.

“Thank you,” the brunette whispered, hands clutching the fabric of his clothes on his back.

“Hm? I didn’t do anything,” Ajax replied gently.

“Not true. You were there, supporting me. Helping with your own elemental energy. And what you said to my father? I wanted to kiss you breathless right that moment,” the god admitted.

“You didn’t think it was stupid what I said?”

“No. Never. It made me feel so loved. And it was so attractive how you stood up against his worrying, how you let there be no doubt that you know what you’re in for and that you don’t want anything else in life…”

“Well, it’s the truth. I don’t want anything else. I know what I have, and I cherish it. I’d be a fool to want someone else when I can have you. You’re everything I ever wanted, Morax. And I won’t let there be a shred of doubt about how much I love you.”

Warm, soft lips pressed against his own, getting a surprised gasp out of him. One of Morax’ large hands had cupped his cheek, thumb caressing his skin. Ajax moved one of his own to his partners chest, letting just the tips of his fingers slip under the collar of his robe, feeling his warm skin against his own. Feeling the strong, intense heartbeat under his fingertips.

To think that just a few days ago something like this was just his own daydreaming. A distant yearning in his heart, never to be fulfilled. But now? Now the feeling of Morax’ lips was still new and exciting, but there was already a little bit of familiarity in the warm press of their lips.

Even if they were both inexperienced, it was pleasant. Morax kissed in a way where he made Ajax feel like the most loved person in the world. Like there had never been anyone as loved as him in the past or would ever be in the future. Ajax hoped he managed to kiss him just like that, too.

When they parted, Morax reached out and let his fingers run through the ginger hair, looking at him lovingly. “Every single day, I send up a prayer to the sky, thanking whatever higher power it was that sent you my way,” the god whispered.

Ajax’ heart skipped a beat, feeling warmth rise on his face. “Whatever it was, it made our lives infinitely better.”

“Mhm, definitely. Whatever it was, I will forever be grateful.” A soft kiss pressed onto his forehead, loving and lingering. “You made quite the first impression to my father.”

“I did? I was worried what he was thinking when I went off on my little rant proclaiming my undying love for you.”

“Oh, he was impressed, I saw it on his face. And the way my mother was grinning. Trust me, you’ve won him over with that. You took his doubts and worries and swept them away never to be found again,” the god chuckled.

“Good, I’m glad.” Morax flinched a little when moving his arm and Ajax immediately noticed. “Are you okay?

“Just a little tense. We’ve carried around a lot. And I supported my father, and he’s heavy,” the adeptus replied with a soft chuckle. “Nothing to worry about, it’ll be fine in a bit.”

“Let me help. You’re helping with my shoulder all the time,” Ajax said. “I’m sure it’d help you, too, right?”

“Probably. I didn’t want to bother you,” Morax replied gently.

“It doesn’t. Come on, get the oil,” the ginger urged. No way that he’d let the other man suffer when he always made sure to help him with his own pains.

Then, the god slipped out of the arms of his robe, letting it fall down and reveal the entirety of his torso, the tied belt keeping it in place at his hips. Ajax swallowed, eyes following the intricate patterns of the geo lines. Once again he was struck by Morax’ sheer beauty. And now, this man was his.

He stepped behind him, letting his fingers trace along the geo sigil between his shoulders. A shiver went through Morax at his touch. Then he carefully poured some of the oil into his hand, warming it in it for a moment before starting to apply it to the skin.

The god purred lowly while he massaged his shoulders, applying more oil as needed. Working the tense muscles between his hands until he felt them relax and soften. He adored this silent trust between them. The intimacy of taking care of each other, whenever they did this, or when he styled Morax’ hair or when the god applied the red eyeliner to his face.

It was something he never really imagined to have with someone. Trusting someone so much as to let them be around him in such a vulnerable state. But with Morax, it was easy. Especially knowing that he was awarded just as much trust.

A soft, pleased sigh could be heard. “It’s nice, isn’t it? I always enjoy it when you do it for me.”

“It is. I don’t think anyone has ever done something like this for me.”

“Well, I’ll do it whenever you want. Just tell me you’re tense, and I’ll gladly help.” Ajax replied.

“Isn’t it just an excuse to touch me?” Morax asked, teasingly.

“Two things can be true at once, my love,” Ajax laughed, feeling pleased when he could notice the others breath hitch at the pet name.

“Mhm, that is true. While I did help with your shoulder because I truly did want to help, there was also a selfish part of me that enjoyed getting to touch you,” the god admitted.

“See?”

When Ajax was done, Morax insisted to do it for him as well. Because there surely was no way that he didn’t feel it as well. So while Morax put his robe back on properly, he half undressed the same way, letting half of his robe dangle behind him, held in place by the belt.

When the god started massaging him, he really did notice how tense he was. He hadn’t really before, too focused on other things to take much notice of it. And a certain base level pain simply wasn’t really noticeable for him because he was so used to it.

But now, relaxing into the other’s touch, he definitely noticed. A soft sigh escaped him as well, leaning more into the pleasant touch. Strong fingers worked over the tense muscles, already familiar with the worst spots.

He closed his eyes for a little bit, humming pleased.

“Good?”

“Always. It really does help. I mean the pain doesn’t ever go away fully, but it soothes it a little bit. And that’s already a godsend. No pun intended,” Ajax said gently, chuckling.

A soft chuckle behind him and a tender kiss pressed onto the bone that connected his neck onto his shoulders. Warmth seemed to spread from the spot and travel down his spine.

“And you soothe the pains of my soul. Like a remedy sent by the gods.”

“That goes both ways, my dear. You know I never thought I’d ever have someone accept me for who I am. Especially not knowing I’m an abyss monster.”

“I do not see it as something bad. It makes you special. And how can I see it negatively when that’s what gives you a possibly eternal life? Plus, I think it’s more… fascinating, than anything else. I have to admit, seeing you quite a bit taller than me in your foul legacy wasn’t unattractive,” the god admitted with a chuckle. “As Zhongli, I am the same height as you. As myself, I’m taller. So, it’s interesting that you’re the taller one in your foul legacy.”

“And here I was, worried it’d be a kick to your ego,” Ajax teased.

“Hey, hey, hey. In my dragon form, I’d be taller several times over. We’re only considering the humanoid forms so far.”

“Taller I wouldn’t say. Longer for sure.”

“I can get up on my hind legs then that would make me taller!”

Ajax laughed, looking back over his shoulder and seeing the god’s scandalized expression. “Hmmm, I slightly prefer the tiny dragon. You were really cute. Like an overgrown ferret. Just hanging around my neck.”

Morax blushed softly. “If you would have told me someone would call me cute and compare me to an overgrown ferret during the archon war, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

“Ha, if I did that back then, I probably wouldn’t have lived long enough to see that pretty blush.”

“Honestly, I probably would have fallen for you back then too. Attractive guy who is a strong fighter and probably would have taken down quite a few gods by himself? Yeah, I don’t think I could have resisted. But the other way around would have been more difficult. I was very different after all.”

“Are you kidding me? I would have killed all the gods in Liyue for you, that’s how hard I would have fallen for you. Whether you today or you in your young and feral archon war days, I definitely couldn’t have resisted,” Ajax grinned.

“Right, that tracks for you.” Morax said deadpan, gently ruffling his hair.

“I know what I want, and that’s the most attractive, most amazing god in Liyue. And that he’s a possessive dragon is a bonus in my book.”

Morax laughed fondly, golden eyes warm and almost glowing. Really, how would Ajax ever give this man up? He would fight with teeth and nails to keep this happiness.

Chapter Text

The next two days went by in a flash. They were spent lazing around, bonding with their families, everyone getting to know each other better and telling stories. It was calm and relaxed, and it was nice to unwind like this after the past days had been stressful and emotional.

His siblings also took full advantage of having him around. The boys kept begging him to play with them or for Morax to tell them stories. His other siblings kept wanting to spend time with him to find out the things he hadn’t told them all these years.

Rong was introduced to his family as well, and he was very surprised to see how many siblings they were. Lian sat next to him laughing when she saw his face. His younger brothers were especially excited about meeting him, staring in wonder at meeting a real, full-blooded dragon.

Preparing food for everyone was quite chaotic, with many hands helping and his family excited to learn how to prepare liyuen dishes. It made Ajax’ heart sing to see Morax teach his family members with seemingly everlasting patience and care.

Today was the third day since they completed his family’s move and found Rong. Morax and him and decided to get up early in the morning to go to the harbor and stock up on supplies first thing in the morning, when everything would still be fresh.

They left through the portal exit in Zhongli’s apartment, the cold breeze meeting them as soon as they walked out of the door. Zhongli shuddered a bit, stepping closer to him and reaching for his hand.

His cheeks surely were turning pink, though he wasn’t sure if it was the cold air or the fact that Zhongli wanted to hold his hand in the middle of the harbor, for everyone to see. Ajax delighted in the feeling of his partner’s hand and knowing that he wanted everyone to know about them. Zhongli wasn’t embarrassed by him. No, he was proud of having him. And Ajax was proud of having him as well.

They walked down to the market at a leisurely pace, a few people that crossed their way looked down at their hands. Many politely greeted them in passing, Ajax was sure Zhongli knew most of them better than he did. And he also was quite sure that come evening, all of Liyue harbor would know that they were seen holding hands. He felt pleased at that, at people knowing Zhongli was his and that he no longer was Liyue’s most eligible bachelor.

 When they arrived at the first stall, Zhongli pressed even closer to his side, wrapping an arm around his waist protectively. He gave his order almost curtly – three varieties of tea that they were slowly getting short of – and then exchanged some mora for the containers.

“What was up with that? Not that it bothers me,” Ajax asked as they stepped away from the stall.

“You didn’t notice how he looked at you?” Zhongli asked, voice quiet but strained.

“Hm?”

“As if you are a piece of meat. It’s good I calmed down in the recent years, because in my younger days, he would no longer be able to look at anything…” the god muttered almost under his breath, looking annoyed.

Ajax felt warmth rise on his cheeks. “You weren’t jealous, right?”

“Jealous? No. Why would I be, I have no reason to be. Furious that he’d look at you like that when he knows nothing of you. Ogling you like that. I worry that if he would have touched you indecently, he would be missing an arm, I’m not sure I could have held myself back then.”

“Ha. Let him look, it’s all he’s ever going to get, my love,” the ginger assured, deciding that he might as well just do as he pleased, and grabbing Zhongli’s collar. He lightly tugged it, testing if the other would move with it or if he’d resist it, unsure if the other really was fine with such a display of their relationship.  

To his surprise, it took almost no effort for the brunette to move closer. Ajax quickly moved, pressing a quick peck on Zhongli’s lips, before turning and pulling him to the next stall with a laugh.

There was something almost intoxicating about this, about getting to be carefree and in love, and showing his love freely. When he looked back over his shoulder, Zhongli was laughing too, unrestrained and beautiful.

People were staring, surely more because they weren’t used to the sight of the usually calm and collected consultant acting like that. Because he could see no ill will in their eyes, just surprise and curiosity. Maybe a few of them were happy for them, too. Or even just glad to see Zhongli like this, finally acting his apparent age. Though, arguably, they might be acting a little more like teenagers now.

But what did it matter? They were in love for the first time. After they’d spent their teen and early adult years fighting tooth and nail to stay alive and trying to be someone they weren’t really all that much.

“Aiya, don’t think for a second that I haven’t seen that,” came from off to the side, with a teasing voice. “Good for you, good for you! With how dense you two were being, I was worrying that I would have to bury you side-by-side just so you’d finally be together in the afterlife at least.”

“Director Hu, good morning.” Zhongli said quickly, face a little flushed.

“Good morning,” Ajax said, chuckling at his face. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to go to such lengths. We’ve figured things out. Finally.”

“Hm. I will let you know, if you purchase two plots, I will give you the second 60% off! Special limited time offer, because I like you. So think fast, Childe!” She replied with a cheeky grin.

“Ah. Thanks, but I’ll pass for now. I don’t plan on a funeral anytime soon, but thank you. Also… I’m no longer with the fatui. Childe was just an alias that I used for work. My name is Ajax,” the ginger said, starting to feel more confident in using his actual name again. He was Ajax. He really was. Not just a monster pretending to be.

Hu Tao hummed. “Ajax, huh. That’s a good name, it fits you. And how brave, leaving the fatui! All dramatical for your love for Zhongli? That might make some good poetry!”

“Ah, I got kicked out. Because of my feelings for Zhongli, yes.”

“Oooh. And here I was thinking you were one of those two dozen people who quit the fatui overnight.”

“Wait, what?” Ajax asked, looking at her stunned. When did that happen? Quitting the fatui wasn’t something you just easily did!

“You haven’t heard yet? Well, I did hear that the secretary at Northland Bank no longer was with the fatui and someone else as well. And apparently that enraged a bunch of other fatui, so the whole group collectively quit yesterday. I think one of them who was organizing it all was a guy called Marcin.”

Ajax gaped. There was so much happening in the past while. How was this happening? “Marcin? Are you serious?”

“That’s what I heard,” Hu Tao confirmed.

“Do you know him?” Zhongli asked, looking at him carefully.

“If she says that it’s Marcin’s group who quit… Those are – were – my subordinates. The ones I brought with me when I came here, the ones who took direct orders from me. Who would probably have been redistributed to other harbingers now that I lost my title and was exiled.”

“Looks like they really didn’t want to be sent to work for other harbingers,” the adeptus said. “Katya did say that you were well-liked by your soldiers and appreciated for how you treated them. They probably didn’t want to work for someone else who would treat them badly.”

“But still, quitting the fatui is risky. It enrages her majesty, and they’ll be exiled as well.” Ajax said.

“Well, I’m sure they’ll have a good life in Liyue instead,” Zhongli said easily.

“But-“

“I’m sure of it.” The brunette said firmer.

Hu Tao nodded. “He’s right. Even if they’re fatui, I’m sure they’ll be able to make it work here. Liyue is a land of opportunities, after all. Maybe I should go talk to them, I could use some people to help move the coffins and caskets around.

And there’s three apartments above the parlor, I live in one of them. The other two are empty because liyuen people think it would be bad luck to live there. But maybe a few of them would be fine with it. And I’m sure the Feiyun commerce guild could use help too, I’ll ask Xingqiu. And they have apartment buildings for their workers, too, so there’d be a possibility…”

“You would be willing to do that?” Ajax asked, surprised. It was unusual that people were willing to extend help towards fatui after all.

“Sure. We did good business, after all. And I never had a problem with you either, remember? I know what it’s like to be a bit of an outcast. People need our services, but else they kept their distance. I’m lucky to have the friends that I do, because many other parents made sure to keep their children away from me. Associating with me outside of funeral planning is considered bad luck.”

“I had no idea, I’m sorry,” Ajax said gently. She was always so upbeat, it was hard to imagine that she had such problems.

“Ah, it’s fine. A hard life builds character, right?” She asked, laughing a little. “It could have been worse, I had my grandpa when I was small. And when he passed away, it didn’t take long for Zhongli to show up. And I do have my little group of friends, so I’m not lonely. I’m counting you in, too,” she added with a grin. “Did before, but especially now that the two of you are finally a thing. I swear to Rex Lapis – even if he’s dead –  if you don’t invite me to the wedding, I’ll be mad!”

“Director Hu, we’ve only gotten together barely three days ago, you shouldn’t put pressure on him like that…”

“We’ll make sure to extend an invitation to you and the ferrylady, don’t you worry,” Ajax replied with a grin, not missing the surprised expression on Zhongli’s face.

Her grin widened and she winked at Ajax before shifting her attention back to the adeptus. “Perfect. I have to get going now, we’ll just keep things how they were lately, Zhongli. We’ll just come fetch you if we need you, yeah? Enjoy some time with your boyfriend, your mother and Guizhong. I’m looking forward to seeing them again.”

She waved and before they could say more, she had disappeared between the people.

“I can’t deal with that child,” Zhongli said with a soft sigh, shaking his head.

“Ha, I know you’re fond of her. Don’t pretend, you can’t fool me,” Ajax said with a chuckle.

The adeptus linked their arms at their elbows and started walking slowly. “You know me too well, my dear.”

“In some regards for sure.”

“Oh don’t worry, you will get to know everything you want to know. I don’t intend to keep any secrets from you. You can ask me anything,” the other said, walking towards a stall filled with fresh vegetables.

“Thank you. Same applies to you, you can ask me anything.”

Zhongli gave him a warm smile, then switched his attention to the produce. He asked for large amounts of almost everything, considering how many people they were. Even the vendor looked surprised.

“That’s a large purchase, I will have my workers deliver it to your doorstep, how does that sound?” the older man asked, quickly adding up the prices.

“That would be wonderful, thank you very much,” Zhongli replied, handing over a large sum of mora before stepping away from the stall to make space for other people.

“You bought so much and haven’t asked for my mora pouch yet? Who are you and what have you done with my Zhongli?” Ajax asked, looking at him questioningly.

“Hm? Nothing. But I… may have gotten my own mora pouch back. That I’d lost somewhere for a while. Apparently a woman had it, and then a young man brought it back to me,” the god replied, careful of his choice of words. “Things are much easier with a mora pouch, now I always have my money with me.”

Ajax’s brows furrowed in concentration, trying to piece things together. Did he mean his gnosis? “So… having it with you means you have access to your money…?”

“I have access to money, yes.”

The ginger laughed at the vague reply, deciding not to pry further. He’d have enough time to ask for clarification later, after all. In the middle of so many people, it was too dangerous to talk about such things. The chance of someone overhearing was much too great.

He definitely didn’t want to put Zhongli’s identity at risk. He deserved to have it safe and unknown by anyone he didn’t explicitly wanted to know it. So he could live unbothered by the way people saw Rex Lapis. He had gone to such lengths to be able to live freely, after all. It wouldn’t be fair if it was all for nothing.

“We’ll need a lot more to feed so many people. You shouldn’t pay for it all, the majority is my family,” Ajax said softly.

Zhongli shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. I don’t want you to spend your remaining money on basic necessities that I can easily provide now. And you paid for my things for months. It’s about time I give something back.”

“As if you haven’t given back enough already, with everything that you’ve done for me.” The ginger huffed softly.

“Ah, that was hardly worth mentioning, it wasn’t that much work,” Zhongli insisted, shaking his head. “Seeing you this happy is more than worth it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how happy you are to have your family with you. When I spoke to them, I was worried I’d be overstepping doing so while you consoled Tonia. But now I’m glad that I did.”

“I’m glad you did too. Thank you so much.”

“Ah, don’t. You’ve thanked me quite enough already,” the god insisted.

“Have I? I’m not even sure I have, in all that chaos. I’d feel terrible if I didn’t.”

“You did, I promise you.”

They kept moving, next they got meat, fish and seafood. After that they got other things like eggs, butter, flour and fruits.

Then, they headed back to Zhongli’s apartment. They brought all the crates up into his apartment, then when they were done, they walked up the staircase to go inside for good.

Suddenly, Ajax could feel a harsh gust of wind.

A flurry of teal and black anemo energy knocked him over, and before he could get a grasp of the situation, he could feel something sharp against his throat.

Damn anemo users. Why did they have to be that fast?

As he looked up, there was a young man, tip of his spear pressed against Ajax’ throat.

“Keep your hands away from him and go back where you belong, abyssal creature,” he hissed, yellow eyes narrowed, the spear digging in a little bit more. “I will only say it once,” he added.

“Xiao, please calm down,” Zhongli said gently.

“Xiao? That little guy is the guardian yaksha? The conqueror of demons?” Ajax asked in disbelief. He was so short! He maybe reached to Ajax’s shoulders! Oh, he definitely did, considering he reached Zhongli’s shoulders.

“I shall defeat you like I do with every other demon, my height does not impede my abilities!”

“Please don’t. Would you mind taking your spear off my boyfriend?” Zhongli asked, ever patient.

Why did Ajax get the feeling that out of Zhongli’s “adopted” children, Xiao was the problem child? He couldn’t imagine Ganyu being that way, she made a very sweet impression on him the few times he saw her. But this one? Feisty. Like a feral kitten, maybe.

“Boyfriend?” The yaksha bristled, head whipping around to look at the brunette. “My lord, I don’t understand-“

“This is Ajax. My boyfriend. He happens to have abyssal influence due to a childhood incident. I promise you, you needn’t worry.”

“Gee thanks, you don’t think I could hold myself in a fight against the little guy?” Ajax asked, fake upset.

“Little guy? I will show you my-“ The pressure on his throat got worse.

“Xiao.” The god chided softly, the yaksha stopping immediately. With a disapproving glance from the brunette, the smaller man huffed and made the jade colored spear disappear. “Thank you, Xiao.”

Xiao shook his head. “I’m not sure I can approve. But I’m probably not in a place to disapprove. My lord shall do as he pleases, even if I don’t understand.”

“He makes me happy, is that good enough?” Zhongli asked, stepping over to help Ajax up. Ajax came to stand next to him and he could feel the gods arm wrap around his waist immediately.

“… I suppose…”

The god chuckled, looking pleased. “Were you looking for me for a reason? Or just here to reprimand me about my choice of boyfriend?”

“Ah, no. I came here for another reason, I just noticed the abyssal energy and thought he might cause trouble… What I came here for is to issue a warning. The staff at Wangshu Inn and I have noticed that the fatui in the area are acting… strange.”

“Strange?” Ajax asked without thinking. “Strange how?”

Xiao looked at him, eyes narrowing again.

“We shouldn’t speak here. We should go inside, or into the realm. There is someone you will be happy to see again, Xiao.” Zhongli reasoned. “There are things we can’t risk anyone overhearing.”

“Fine with me,” the yaksha said. Silently following them inside.

Ajax and Zhongli picked up the crates with the perishables,  Xiao hesitated but then put his hand on Zhongli’s arm so they could move through the portal.

Chapter Text

„I haven’t seen this palace in a long time,” Xiao said almost inaudibly when they walked up the stairs to the front doors.

Morax hummed, letting his transformation dissipate. “I quite liked its design and I wanted to honor all the work that went into the original. So I created a copy here. Many of the furnishings are from the original, I brought them over when I decided to no longer reside in the Tianheng palace.”

He could hear noises coming from the kitchen, a soft sing-song that was very clearly Guizhong. He opened the door, letting the other two pass him, even if Xiao didn’t look comfortable letting him do that. He had always been so dutiful. Even now, when he had retired as Liyue’s archon, the young adeptus didn’t sway from treating him the same as he had always treated him.

Xiao’s eyes widened and he stilled when he saw Guizhong standing at the counter. “She-she isn’t real, is she? That’s a copy. A golem.”

At the sound of his voice, Guizhong looked up from the carrots she was peeling. She put on a playful pout. “I am real.”

“That-That can’t be. I saw the miasma that was released upon your death!”

“Hm, that does make sense. I did lose a great deal of my power, after all. But I only reverted to my dust sprite form. I’ve been gathering new strength for a long time, I’ve only been able to create a new physical form a little while ago. I meant to visit you soon,” she said gently, putting down the knife.

She walked to Xiao and smiled at him. “I’m so glad to see you’re still around.”

The goddess hugged him, which he didn’t resist. Never did. Guizhong always had a special connection to the young yaksha. He hugged her back, his hands grasping at the fabric of her robe, slightly trembling.

Xiao always acted tough to keep others at a distance. A defensive tactic, both to keep others and himself from being hurt, because he hated seeing others suffering. And the worst was to see others suffering because of his karmic debt.

What most people didn’t know, was that he was actually a gentle, caring soul. He had gotten hurt a lot, and he knew better than anyone else what a toll the karmic debt of the yakshas took. The other four guardian yakshas had treated him like a younger brother, and he opened up a little bit around them and around Guizhong.

The gentle goddess had taken an immediate liking to him when Morax brought him to the Guili assembly. Guizhong had understood how hurt he was, both mentally and physically. The first few days she cared for him tirelessly, tended to his wounds and spoke to him quietly, even if he barely ever replied at first.

Before meeting him, Xiao had been enslaved by a cruel god. He suffered at the hands of his old master, becoming the blood-stained golden peng. The golden winged King.  His old master forged a contract with Morax, but promptly broke it when he failed to hold back on his violent tendencies. So the god of contracts delivered his divine punishment.

In the process, he freed Xiao from the binds that had been placed on him. The young adeptus collapsed, severely weakened from how he had been abused and by the violence he himself had to perform.

Morax had seen his adeptus form a few times. A large bird, similar to an eagle. His feathers two tones of teal, like the hair of his human form. The primary and secondary feathers on his wings were a deep golden colors, as were the longer tail feathers. On his forehead sat a smaller, purple feather which became a small gemstone in his human form. The corners of his eyes were surrounded by small, red feathers, reminiscent of the red eyeliner.

Other than that, he also possessed a smaller form. The colors were the same, but with the smaller size he looked more like a finch. Morax was much more familiar with this form. Once he had recovered, Morax had given him his new name – Xiao – and the other had insisted on making a contract with him. From then on, the small finch would often be found flying close to the warrior god or the dust goddess.

Whenever possible, Morax sent him with Guizhong when she wanted to go somewhere. Firstly because he knew Xiao would defend her with all his strength, and secondly because he knew that Xiao had taken a liking to her. Nothing romantic, he was pretty sure of it. But the way she had nursed him back to health, telling him stories with a soothing voice and with her overall gentle nature, she had wormed her way into his heart the same way she had done with Morax.

He also knew how badly Xiao had grieved her. Everyone who knew her did, but Morax felt like the ones who had been affected the worst had been Xiao, Ping, Cloud Retainer, Marchosias and himself.

Ping and Guizhong had been very close friends, leaving him wondering if they had been more than they had let on. But he never asked Ping about it, because he could see that talking about Guizhong was too painful for her. And eventually, she had married and raised her family, so he felt like asking such questions might open old wounds that had finally healed.

Xiao hid his face against Guizhong’s shoulder, hands grasping her robe tightly. His small body was shaking while the goddess murmured soft, soothing words while caressing his hair with one hand.

Ajax looked at them surprised, raising an eyebrow when he looked up to Morax. He just shrugged, motioning his hand dismissively, hoping to convey that this wasn’t as out of the ordinary as it might seem.

Carefully, he put his arm around the gingers shoulder and bent down to press a loving kiss onto his forehead. The other man closed his eyes for a moment as the kiss lingered and leaned against him. How could he be so cute? He knew just how capable Ajax was as a fighter, and yet he could be this adorable. It made him feel warm with affection.

“I missed you, lady Guizhong,” Xiao murmured quietly before he let go of her. He took a shivered breath before he looked around and flushed a little, clearly embarrassed by the other two men having seen everything.

But Guizhong smiled, warm and radiant. “I missed you too. It’s so good to see you.”

“I-I should get to the point. I can sense humans. It’d be better not to be around too long,” the young adeptus said, gaze not moving away from her, as if to reassure himself that she wouldn’t just disappear.

“Ah, my family is sleeping in the guest rooms. Why, what’s the problem with humans?” Ajax asked.

“Xiao, in his function as a yaksha, deals with the miasma of the fallen gods. The miasma… it’s a violent energy that gets released upon death and also from the bodies getting worn away. When defeating monsters that get affected by it, the energy clings to the yaksha. Like this, they accumulate unimaginable amounts of this energy, which takes its toll on them. Today, Xiao is the only yaksha that remains because he’s proven himself to be extraordinarily resistant to it.” Morax explained.

“… I receive strong medicine against the pain. And Barbatos has been able to calm me down with his music, when the miasma threatens to overwhelm me,” Xiao said quietly, carefully.

Morax hummed thoughtfully. “The energy also affects everyone around Xiao, because it clings to him. Gods and adepti aren’t affected only by interacting with him for a short while, neither are vision-bearers. But humans are very vulnerable to it. Xiao is careful to avoid being around people too much, because of the massive amounts of miasma clinging to him after fulfilling his duty as a yaksha for such a long time.”

“So it could harm them if they were to enter the room? Or just from him being here?”

“You needn’t worry. The distance to the guest rooms is big enough. And even if they were to enter the kitchen, as long as they don’t get physically close to him, it’s fine. More distance than Guizhong is currently keeping, standing next to him like that.”

“I interact with the human staff at Wangshu Inn as well. None of them have shown any signs of harm from our short talks,” the yaksha added, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“You said that the fatui in the area around Wangshu are acting strange. Strange, how?” Ajax asked.

Xiao’s eyes narrowed again suspiciously. “Why does that interest you so much, out of all people?”

“He knows about your retirement plan thing?” Ajax asked, and Morax nodded to confirm.

“He does know that Osial was a test and that I handed the gnosis over to the Tsaritsa, yes.”

“I was the fatui harbinger tasked to get the gnosis. Long story short, I came here with false information so I’d be a decoy and would free Osial while another harbinger obtained the gnosis. Zhongli was hired as my consultant, to help me with information about Liyue. That’s how we met and became friends. How we fell in love with each other, even if we didn’t know that for the past eight months.

Well, my goddess didn’t appreciate me loving another nations archon, so I lost my title and was exiled from Snezhnaya. That’s why my family is here, too. And when I left the throne room after being stripped of my rank, I stole the geo and anemo gnoses.

That was three days ago. She doesn’t go to the throne room often, only for official business. It can be weeks until it gets used again. But of course, we assume she’s going to want the gnoses back.”

Xiao raised one of his eyebrows, looking over between the two of them. “I have just gained slightly more respect for that one,” he said matter-of-factly. “Stealing them back from that goddess… It is an act deserving of respect, even if only for its recklessness.”

Guizhong laughed softly at that.

“So you suspect their behavior would have to do with that?” The yaksha asked, furrowing his brows.

“That would be my assumption with no further information given, at least,” the ginger replied. “If you tell me more, I might be able to make more sense of it.”

Xiao took a breath. “They’re usually gathering in small groups. Two, three, maybe four of them. But now, it’s a dozen or more. And they seem… on edge. Practicing with their weapons a lot more. They used to not spar with each other but rather attack if someone crossed their paths.

And it seems like they’re waiting for something. Verr suspects they might be waiting for further orders. And they moved. From all over bishui plain, they’re moving towards the guili plains. If what you say is true, their goal might be the harbor…”

“That would make sense. I’m sure the Tsaritsa heard from Signora that I reside in the harbor. So she might send them here trying to cause trouble and trying to get me to give back the gnoses?” Morax asked, making a thoughtful noise.

“Maybe. Or she’s trying to gather her forces for something bigger. I… I don’t think it’s out of the question that she could show up herself. I can imagine that she’s sure that if she would threaten your people, that you’d show yourself. That this is how she’ll get you to give them back, threatening the safety of what you hold dearest.”

“Hm.” Not that he cared if she would come to Liyue harbor himself. But that was above anything the Qixing would be able to handle. He would have to ask Ganyu to pass a letter on to Ningguang. If the Tsaritsa really would attack directly, humans couldn’t get involved. Especially not Ningguang, who he counted on to lead the people of Liyue as the Tianquan.

Ningguang knew that he was still alive. Even if she didn’t know he was Zhongli. But she would take a letter with his sigil and seals seriously, especially if Ganyu delivered it to her. After all, the Tianquan knew that being the Qixing’s secretary was her way of fulfilling her contract with him, her way to serve Liyue.

“What are you going to do, my lord?”

“I will be writing to the Tianquan. Let her know about the situation, and then we’ll take each day how it goes,” the god replied.

“You’re not making any plans?” Guizhong asked, raising her eyebrows.

“No. It’s no use, we don’t know what she will do. But whatever she does, I am very confident that I am the stronger one out of the two of us. Trust my strength, as you did during the archon war. I am stronger now than then, even. If so much as a single stone is cracked, if a single leaf gets ripped off its tree, if she dares to touch a single hair of anyone on liyuen soil… She will feel my wrath.”

“But my lord, your retirement…” Xiao said carefully.

“I will always be Liyue’s very last line of defense. Archon or not, gnosis or not. I have taken up this duty when I joined the fight for the title as Liyue’s archon. And it’s a duty I will hold until my last breath, even if I’ve formally retired. I will always feel responsible for this land that I raised with my own hands,” he replied gently.

“Call my name if you need me. I will be with you immediately. I shall return to Wangshu Inn now and keep an eye on the fatui. If there is anything worth reporting, I will do so.”

Before any of them could say another word, the yaksha had disappeared in a flurry of wild anemo energy, teleporting back to Wangshu Inn.

Guizhong sighed and shook her head. “He never changes, does he.”

“He was very happy to see you.” Morax replied. “I’m sure he’ll be happy if you visit him at Wangshu Inn.”

“I will do so in a while. Maybe he’ll have some time and indulge me with stories of how he’s been,” she said, returning to her chopping board.

“Maybe. He’s always been most fond of you, after all. “

“Don’t say that. He adores you. He looks up to you so much,” the goddess replied, starting to peel more carrots.

“No matter what I do, he will always see me as Rex Lapis. You heard how he speaks to me compared to you. I think he’d get a stroke if he would ever address me as Morax…”

Ajax laughed softly next to him.

“You laugh but that’s really what it feels like,” he sighed. “It’s why I said that I feel I have to keep up this role in front of him. He’s one of the people that relies on me being Rex Lapis. That needs me to be perfection and strength incarnate.”

He could feel the gingers arms move around him, hugging him sideways. “It’s hard, I understand,” he said gently. “He’s one of the people that you absolutely don’t want to disappoint. You know he thinks highly of you, and that’s why you hold yourself to such a standard.”

“Yes,” Morax sighed, relaxing into his embrace. “That’s exactly what it is.”

“You’ve always been like that, at least for the time I’ve known you.” Guizhong said. “Except when you almost bit my hand off.”

“I apologized for that!”

“Why did you do that?” Ajax asked, laughing.

Guizhong started cutting the carrots into small semi-circles, a reminiscent smile on her face. “It’s how we first met. He was flying and crashed down into a field of glaze lilies close to where I was settled with my people. I went to investigate and found an injured dragon. I already knew chances were high that this was Morax, people spoke about him a lot, and everyone knew dragons were almost wiped out completely.”

“She approached me holding her hand out towards me, I thought she was going to finish me off,” Morax chuckled. “So of course, once she was close enough, I snapped at her.”

“And almost bit my hand off!”

“I apologized!”

Ajax laughed at their exchange, and it made Morax happy. It always made him happy when the ginger laughed. It was beautiful to see, and he wished he would always be happy and radiant.

“Well, in any case she managed to convince me that she really meant no harm.”

“Who would have thought that the short goddess without a weapon would be harmless,” Guizhong chimed in with a sarcastic tone.

“I’m sorry, okay?! Back then I was untrusting, pretty much every other god would have killed me!” Morax huffed.

“But I didn’t. No intention whatsoever. Not little old me,” the woman tutted.

“I’m sorry, but you two are hilarious when you’re like that,” Ajax said, holding back a giggle.

“Well, anyways, when he almost chomped my arm off he realized that maybe I’m not a bad person and let me help him. He changed to his adeptal form and it was clear that his right arm was broken. I brought him back to the assembly and set it back into place. Around that time, the assembly was relatively unbothered, the majority of the fighting was still happening in other areas. So he stayed and I nursed him back to health until he was healed. And over that time, we became friends. Then he decided to stay for good and we led the guili assembly together.” Guizhong said, putting the cut carrots to the side and starting to peel some potatoes.

“What a weird way to start a friendship,” the ginger said, shaking his head. Pressing a little more into his side, hugging him tighter.

“Mhm, true. She was the first person I trusted I quite a while,” Morax said.

“When you almost bit me, I was worried about getting rabies,” she said deadpan. “Feral dragon falling out of the sky? Celestia knows where you have been and what you’ve done, what kind of things you’ve picked up.”

Ajax hid his face into his shoulder, trying to muffle his laughter.

Chapter Text

Guizhong insisted that she didn‘t need help with making breakfast, so they moved to sit in the living room. Morax took out paper, brushes and ink and started to write his letter. Ajax watched him, always marveling at the elegance of his brush strokes. He hadn’t actually started to learn to write the liyuen language, even if he could read a fair bit. But he fully did plan on changing that.

After all, Liyue was now his home. It was strange, knowing he was no longer a snezhnayan citizen. He had grown up there, had been shaped by its culture. Was he considered nationless now? Or would he become a citizen of Liyue?

Either way, he wanted to become fluent in the liyuen language. He’d wanted to before, but this desire only became stronger now, knowing he would live here permanently. And considering he was in a relationship with a liyuen man, Liyue’s archon even.

When Morax was done writing, he placed two fingers at the bottom of the paper. A geo sigil appeared, flashing with energy for a second, leaving an intricate mark. It almost seemed to pulse with the energy.

The adeptus must have seen his curious look, because he chuckled softly. “This proves that it’s a letter sent by me. When Ningguang sees it, she will know it’s genuine.”

“She doesn’t know that you’re Rex Lapis, right?”

“No. She does know that I am alive and that I’ve chosen to step down. That I’m trusting her to lead the people. But she doesn’t know that I live in the harbor or that we’ve spoken with each other outside of what happened at the rite of descension.”

“But isn’t she going to suspect something if you bring her that letter? Or are you just going to say that Rex Lapis asked you to deliver it to her?” Ajax asked. Wouldn’t that be super suspicious?

Morax huffed softly. “I’m not that foolish. I will ask Ganyu to pass the letter to Ningguang. She knows that Ganyu has a contract with the geo archon and that she knows him since the archon war. That will raise no suspicions at all, it’s not the first time she delivers a letter to the Qixing for me. She was the one who delivered the one with the explanation about my retirement plans as well.”

“Ah, that makes sense.”

“I just want them aware of the situation that is building up. And that they know, if Saleos personally appears, that they cannot get involved. It’s too dangerous. Old gods that I’ve sealed away breaking through their seals is one thing. They’ve been worn down and weakened over millennia. But Saleos is an archon, that is something else entirely,” the god said softly, leaning back against the couch.

He put his arm around Ajax, pulling him closer. The ginger sighed and cuddled against his side, always happy to be close to him. “You seem so unbothered by this all.”

“It’s but a bump in the road, my love. There’s not much she can do. I have protected Liyue for millennia. I know what it’s like to fight against gods. She does not. I can’t see her winning against me.”

“I will be there by your side. I can fight, too.” Ajax muttered softly.

“I couldn’t risk you getting hurt. But I suppose, if you really want to, I could shield you. As long as I stand, it won’t shatter. So, you’ll be safe and still able to fight,” Morax hummed, fingers caressing Ajax’ shoulder. He bent down a little, pressing a tender kiss to his temple.

The ginger reached up, pulling him down a little more for a kiss, sighing softly against the others’ lips. “You know me so well,” he murmured against them, pressing a kiss against the corner of the god’s mouth.

“Anything for you.”

“You’re spoiling me rotten. You’ve already given me almost everything I ever wanted,” Ajax whispered.

Fond, breathy laughter against his lips. A loving kiss followed by lips trailing down to kiss the line of his jaw. “And I intend to do so for however long you’ll let me.”

“You still think I’ll break up with you one day.”

“It’s just a reminder to myself to cherish every second I have with you. Because one day, it might be our last kiss. The last time I get to hold you. Please don’t get me wrong, I do not doubt your character or anything the like. I don’t doubt how much you love me. I’m simply aware that humans can fall out of love, so if it ever happens in the future, I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t want to think that I should have kissed you more, held you more, told you I love you more often. That is all.”

For a moment, he wanted to be upset. But he understood the god’s way of thinking. Knowing that you would never fall out of love, but your partner can, would be a scary thing for him as well, if their roles were reversed. It didn’t mean Morax didn’t trust him. It meant he was scared of it happening, because it wasn’t something done deliberately, it just happened. And he was scared of not enjoying their time together to is fullest.

But Ajax really didn’t think he ever could fall out of love with him. How, when he fell in love with him in new ways over and over again? When almost every day, he found some new, small thing that he didn’t know before, and it made him love Morax even more?

Carefully, he moved to straddle the gods lap and sat down. “You’re a worrywart,” he said gently, brushing his bangs to the side and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” the god replied, closing his eyes. His arms wrapped around him in a gentle hug, holding him close.

“Don’t be. I understand what you’re scared of. And I understand that it’s not… it doesn’t have anything to do with me, personally. It’s not that you think that I don’t love you enough, or that you don’t trust me. You know it can happen and that it wouldn’t be my fault when it happens.”

“Exactly. And when it does, I just don’t want to spend the rest of my life wallowing in misery, thinking I should have used our time better,” Morax whispered. “I want to remember our time and be content, knowing I did everything and put my whole heart into it.”

“I won’t let it happen, my love. I want to live with you for the rest of eternity. I want to see what the world is like in thousand, five thousand, ten thousand years. Even more than that. By your side. Nobody will ever compare to you. And I hope one day, you will no longer worry about that.”

A soft kiss was pressed onto the middle of his collarbone. “I hope so, too. I feel bad about worrying. It feels like a betrayal of your trust.”

“I don’t hold it against you. I probably would too, if our roles were reversed. I understand that it’s a scary thought.” Ajax replied, letting his hand run through the soft hair, caressing his scalp.

“I love you more than life itself,” the god whispered. “You are the light of my life. My moon in the dark of the night.”

“And you are my sun, giving me light and warmth. My rock against the thrashing current, saving me from being pulled under. Around you, the call of the abyss in the back of my mind finally gets quiet. You calm me and make me feel normal.”

He moved, kissing the god tenderly. One hand cradling his jaw, holding him close. “I don’t ever want to know life without you again. It feels pointless and empty. Being with you brings me more joy than I ever could have imagined having.”

“I feel the same. That’s why I’m so scared. If the day comes, I will let you go in peace, because I love you. Because I always will. But when you go, you will take my heart with you,” Morax whispered against his lips, voice low and rumbling.

“I will go nowhere. Not ever. Where should I go? To someone who wouldn’t love me half as much as you do? You heard what my goddess said, didn’t you? My love for you is no ordinary one. You keep saying that humans can fall out of love, but you forget that I’m Snezhnayan. And we are known to stay with our partners for life, except in dire circumstances. In our language, the word for ‘divorce’ is the same as the word as ‘last resort’. And you also forget, that I no longer am fully human. And who’s to say that abyss monsters don’t love just as possessively as dragons do?”

The god chuckled, mouth resting at his jawline. “Alright, alright. You have a point.”

“Good, because I want you to be happy at our wedding and not thinking that it’ll be over one day.” Oh, Ajax wanted to punch himself. Did he really just let that slip? It was easy to just ramble on with Morax close to him like this. Then again, what point was there in hiding it? The god had proposed to him months ago and admitted as much.

“You know that you don’t have to do that? I told you; my proposal didn’t count. You can’t accept something as important as this, a marriage is one of the most important contracts, without knowing about it.”

“I wasn’t talking about your proposal…” Ajax admitted. “Though I guess now that I let that slip, there’s not really a point in doing it formally anymore, is it?”

Morax looked at him curiously, blinking surprised, golden eyes wide.

“I don’t have a ring yet though; I was going to get one…” the ginger said sheepishly. “Guess I can still get you one. If you say yes, that is. I mean, you don’t have to, of course. If you changed your mind on that, it’s fine. We can talk about it again in a few years. Or not at all. We don’t have to be married. But I thought since you proposed to me months ago, that you probably want to… And I want, too, so it made sense for me, but then again it was months ago and you probably had a lot of time to think about it ag-“

He was silenced with an intense kiss, feeling the gods hold around him tighten. It punched the air out of his lungs and made him feel lightheaded.

When they parted, he took a deep breath.

“Are you going to ask me properly?” Morax asked against his lips.

“What, you mean right now? Or proper proper with a ring in a nice location?”

“Now,” the other man rumbled.

Ajax took a deep breath, leaning back a little so he could look at him. The man that he loved. Who was so incredible, he would never let him go. Not ever. “You are everything to me. Will you do me the honor and marry me? Become my husband, in good times and bad times? Each other’s for the rest of our lives?”

Golden eyes shined brighter than he’d ever seen before, and nothing could have prepared him for the smile on the god’s lips. It was beautiful and radiant, full of joy and love. “Yes. Yes, I would love all of that,” he replied, voice shaking a little.

When Ajax kissed him, he could hear and feel a little gasp, hands grasping at the fabric of his robe. He let his own hands hold onto Morax’ face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. Suddenly, he could feel a wetness against his fingers, and as he moved away, there were tears running down the gods’ cheeks.

“Hey,” he said softly, worried, feeling his own eyes burning.

“Don’t mind me. Just really, really happy.” The brunette whispered, hiding his face against Ajax’ shoulders.

Ajax kissed his hair, running his fingers through it soothingly. “I’ll start to cry too at this pace, and I’ve held it together so well the past few days,” he admitted.

“You’re going to be my husband.”

The ginger chuckled. “And you’re going to be mine. I was about to plan this whole elaborate proposal. I wanted to go and look for the most beautiful ring in all of Liyue.”

“Shouldn’t I have told you to ask now?”

“Nah, don’t worry. Hey, we wasted eight months, so it’s fine if we speed things up a little now. And in the end, I mostly wanted to make it special for you. So you’d see how much I love you. You’ve done so much for me; it sometimes makes me feel worried that you don’t feel as loved as you make me feel.”

“I do, don’t worry about that,” the adeptus whispered, pressing a kiss to the junction between his neck and shoulder.

“And I want you to really know how serious I am with this. I’ve had daydreams of being married to you for months. Even worse ever since we started to get closer, because it really did feel like this beautiful domestic life…”

Morax smiled against his skin. “It did, didn’t it? I felt the same, I caught myself slipping into daydreams so often. Half of the time when you caught me in my thoughts it was things like… Thinking how nice it would be to wake up next to you. How nice it would be to be able to cuddle with you. How amazing it would feel to kiss you.”

“I hope I managed to meet those expectations,” Ajax laughed.

“Exceeded all of them, of course. What else would you do,” the god murmured, voice warm.

“Ha, says you,” the ginger replied. “As if you wouldn’t.”

Morax looked up at him, hand coming up to brush over his cheeks. He had stopped crying but there were still wet trails on his cheeks. Ajax moved his own hands to gently wipe them away with his thumbs. Gods, he loved this man so much.

“So, what season are we getting married in, my love?” Morax asked, sounding giddy.

“Didn’t you say spring would be perfect? Everything full of flowers and the temperatures nice and warm, but not too hot? And I’m sure with everyone helping we’d be able to organize a wedding in less than half a year. Except you want to wait for a while, of course,” Ajax said, worried that the other might prefer to wait a few years instead of getting married the first chance they get.

“Spring it is, then. And I agree, I’m sure everyone will be excited, so we’ll be able to get it done in less than half a year. I thought combining different traditions from our respective homelands would be nice, what do you think?”

The ginger nodded quickly, still reeling a little. They were planning their wedding. They were going to get married. In less than half a year. By the time of his next birthday, he would be a married man. With a literal god as his husband.

“My fiancé,” Ajax said softly, testing the word.

Morax looked at him intently. “My fiancé.”

He could feel a shiver going down his spine at the smooth voice of his beloved calling him that. And not long until he would call him husband. “I almost can’t believe this is happening,” he admitted quietly.

“I feel the same. When you mentioned marriage, I thought you meant sometime, in the far future. That you’d consider it one day…”

“Ha, no, I’ve long since considered it. I told you, I know what I want. And it’s all of you, forever. How can I not want to be married to you? I can’t wait, I’m incredibly excited,” he said, hoping it was clear just how excited he was.

The brunette hugged him tightly again, warm breath fanning over his skin. “Me too. I’m so excited, I don’t have the words for it. Everyone else is going to be so excited too, when they hear. Mama’s going to cry, probably. She adores you, so she’s going to be so happy to have you as her son-in-law properly. Gods, I’ll have to make sure I keep it together at the ceremony, I can’t cry in front of all of them.”

Ajax giggled, caressing his back. “It’ll be fine, I’ll probably cry too. Knowing me, getting out the vows will be hard, I hope I don’t choke up and butcher that.”

“Are we going to go with the standard ones? Or write our own?” Morax asked, humming softly.

“I’d like it if we wrote our own, but if you’d prefer standard ones, that’s fine as well, of course.”

“Mhm, doing our own is more personal. I like that. Nothing standard about our union, after all,” the god replied with a chuckle.

“True. An archon and an abyss monster. That’s as uncommon as a marriage can be, I guess. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Neither would I. Especially considering that you being part of the abyss is what’ll allow us to live a long life together.”

“I just hope your adoptive children approve of me until then,” Ajax mused. “Xiao wasn’t much of a fan.”

“He’ll come around. He’s stubborn, but he acts tougher than he actually is. Xiao hides a gentle soul behind his behavior. And you already won some points by stealing the gnosis,” the adeptus assured. “And Ganyu won’t be bothered by this at all, as long as I’m happy.”

Ajax moved, peppering featherlight kisses against the brunettes jawline. “If you say so. I trust your judgement on that.”

“It’ll be fine, I promise.” The other replied, angling his head a little to give him better access. Ajax used the opportunity to trail kisses down the side of his neck, delighting at the shiver going through the brunette. “It’ll all be. We just have to take care of this little… situation… beforehand. And once that’s all resolved, we can concentrate on enjoying the rest of our lives with each other and celebrating our love.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Chapter Text

“Are we going to announce it?” Ajax asked softly, lips brushing against his neck as he spoke. His breath fanned over his skin, fingers curling against Morax’ lower arm.

“I think we should. But of course, only if you agree. If you’d prefer to keep this between us for a while longer, then that’s fine as well.”

“I would like them to know. I mean most of them are going to be very happy, I think,” Ajax mumbled.

“Most of them? Do you think your family won’t be happy?” The god asked, hand coming to rest at his waist.

He could understand if they still had their reservations about him. Though he did feel like Ajax’ siblings were completely fine with him, but of course, he could be very wrong. Maybe they really were just polite. His younger brothers seemed to have taken a liking to him, fascinated by who he was.

“Oh they will, they will. I’m more worried about your father. I’m still a little bit worried that he might not like me after all,” the ginger admitted.

“Hm? Why that?”

“I don’t know. Just a feeling. Maybe because he feels my abyss influence, he thinks that I’m not good for you? Or maybe he thinks the age difference is weird. It’s a couple thousand years after all. Or he just doesn’t like me for some other reason,” Ajax said quietly.

“Between him and mama it’s also a couple thousand years. I didn’t get the same feeling at all. Baba takes a little while to warm up to people. He’s an overthinker like I am, very often questioning anything he said and did after interacting with people. So when he doesn’t know people well, he can come across as rather quiet, worried that he’ll make a fool of himself.  He prefers to first observe them and get a feeling for who and how they are. Then he’ll slowly start to speak his mind more.”

“Ah, I see,” Ajax replied, resting his head on his shoulder. “So most likely nothing that has actually to do with me as a person then.”

“Definitely, yes. Actually, much rather, I think he’s a little… Hm. How should I put it… Not intimidated, but maybe a little bit like that, yes.” The god hummed thoughtfully.

“Intimidated? He’s a literal dragon.”

“Yes, but it’s the first time he’s a father-in-law. And mind you, my father never had one himself. When Mama told her family about him, they weren’t happy at all. They told her that she needs to stop seeing him. Even when she brought him to them so that they could get to know him, they wouldn’t stop insisting that she shouldn’t be with him.”

Ajax leaned back, looking at him with raised eyebrows. “What, so you think it’s actually more because he’s worried about that? About how to be a father-in-law?”

“It would fit my father. That he’s actually just unsure on how to act around you, how to interact with you. He might want to get to know you better but doesn’t yet dare to speak to you on his own. He might also be worrying that he comes across as overbearing already and that he thinks he made a bad first impression.”

“Hm. Do you think it would be good if I tried to talk to him? You know, make an effort. Show him that I’d like to get to know him better as well. I mean they’re your parents. I’d like to have a good relationship with them. I… I could never make you choose between them and me, I don’t have the heart to do that.”

Morax reached out to caress his cheek, smiling when the other man pressed his face into his hand. Beautiful, deep blue eyes looked at him lovingly. His chest flared with warmth. Ajax came closer, Morax closed his eyes and delighted at the warm, soft press of their lips.

It was addicting, really, all of it. Being with Ajax like this made his head spin. For so long, while he thought they were dating, he had held himself back. Scared that if he started with slightest touches, he wouldn’t get enough and start to annoy the ginger. And now, here they were, Ajax just as affectionate, seeking touch just as much.

He could feel Ajax smile into their kiss and he couldn’t help but smile as well. He was so lucky. So, so incredibly lucky.

“One of these days you two will knot your tongues together. And I’m not going to be the one to pull that mess apart,” Guizhong’s voice came from behind them, teasing.

Ajax pulled away, face red. “We-we weren’t even-!”

“That was a perfectly appropriate kiss, no tongues involved. It seems your eyesight is getting bad with age, we should go and get you some glasses,” Morax replied with a grin.

Which earned him a slight reprimanding slap on the back of his head. “Are you calling me old?!”

“Didn’t you say yourself that you’re as old as dust?”

“That’s different!”

Ajax was laughing, even if his cheeks were still bright red. He was steadying himself with both hands on Morax’ chest. “Sorry, we’re probably pretty annoying.”

“Nah, I’m really just teasing, I promise. I deserve to, after watching you two pining fools,” she replied with a soft laugh. “Trust me, I’m very happy to see you two like this. Happy and in love with each other. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Morax as relaxed as he is in moments like this, cuddling with you.”

She sat down on the couch across from them, and Ajax slid off his lap, sitting down pressed against his side instead.

“Ah, you didn’t have to,” Guizhong said gently. “I really wasn’t bothered at all.”

“It bothers me when I can’t look at someone while we talk.” Ajax explained, unbothered. His hand came to rest on Morax’ thigh.

“Do we need to put up defensive mechanisms?” She asked, looking serious. “You make it look like you’re not bothered at all by another archon possibly attacking, but you’re not really that unbothered by it, are you?”

“I am quite unbothered. I would worry more about anyone else, even Barbatos probably. He can be quite powerful when he gets serious. But out of all the archon, I am the least intimidated by Saleos. Yes, she can turn people to ice, but so can I turn people to stone. And even between the first generation of archons, I was recognized by the others as the most powerful among them.”

“But what if the people get hurt?” Guizhong pressed, worried.

“My friend. Do you really think I would let that happen after protecting them for so long? If she even so much as scratches a single stone on liyuen soil, she will learn how I became the warrior god. I promise you; I will protect everyone. Not a single person shall be harmed.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just anxious. It reminds me too much of the archon war, and not the good memories,” she admitted, brushing her hair to the side a little bit.

“I understand. But I swear, I won’t let her harm anyone. I love this land, these people, too much. Even more so since I started living among them. I couldn’t live with myself if they were put into harms way by something as personal as this.”

“But you were fine with them being in harms way when I freed Osial?” Ajax asked, brow quirked up questioningly.

Morax mirrored his expression. “I’ll have you know; I was observing everything closely and was ready to step in if so much as a single person would have been in actual deadly danger.”

The ginger hummed, hand caressing his thigh. “I see. So, If anyone would have been in danger, I would have experienced the wrath of the rock?”

“Osial, not you,” the god huffed softly, putting his arm around him.

“Ah,” Ajax said, cuddling closer against his side.

“I have protected them so long, and they will always have my protection. Even when they think that I have died. In hindsight, I do regret the way that I stepped down. I should have done it properly. Announced that I believe that the people of Liyue are able to live independently, without my guidance. Let them know that if they ever desire advice or reassurance, that I am there.”

“They surely would have appreciated that, too,” Guizhong replied softly. “I’m sure that you faking your death did cause quite a bit of grief.”

“I didn’t think it would, to be honest. I thought people would just… get on with their lives and not care much. Especially seeing as many people never saw me in the first place, except from afar during the rite of descension.”

How wrong he had been. He had seen the aftermath firsthand, after all. The way there had been a glum air around the whole harbor for quite some time afterwards. There was still the usual bustle, but somehow quieter, more subdued.

At first he thought it was because of people being on edge and worried after the incident with Osial. Only after a few days, after hearing people talk in hushed voices, he realized that they were talking about him. Were talking about stories and myths surrounding him, or how they were sad that he passed away. That they felt that Liyue was facing a great loss.

He hadn’t thought that he himself was that important to his people, but apparently he was. Just as Ajax had said as well, it seemed that they really did look up to him. That he wasn’t just the god ruling over them, but rather their protector and mentor.

How wrong he had been all this time. Maybe if he hadn’t felt so insecure at his core, he would have been able to make better choices. Perhaps living among them as himself would have been easier than he thought. He always assumed people would keep their distance and not dare to interact with him. But what if knowing who he was wouldn’t have changed how people spoke to him?

But then it always had in the past. Whenever someone had found out about him when he was incognito, everything switched up immediately. People who spoke to him casually, like a friend, would cower in fear of the disrespect they’d shown by not knowing who he was. Worried that divine punishment would be the consequence.

He wasn’t like that. Hadn’t been in a long time. And weirdly enough, such stories weren’t even part of the ones circulating everywhere. He had never been cruel to the people of Liyue. Even when he had lost his respect for life, he didn’t go for humans whenever possible.

People didn’t treat him any different now that they knew he was an adeptus. But maybe if they knew he was Morax, they still might. He sighed softly and pressed a kiss onto Ajax’ hair to distract himself from his thoughts.

“So much going on in that ancient head of yours?” Ajax asked with a teasing tone.

“Mhm. A lot has happened over very short time, it’s just a tad exhausting. It almost reminds me of the archon war, where every day was unpredictable and you never knew what would happen,” he admitted. “I even thought about going to Snezhnaya again and telling her to leave us alone in no uncertain terms, but I do think it’s wiser to let her come here.”

“Why?” Guizhong looked at him curiously.

“Because of my contract with her. She gets the gnosis if she helps me test my people. Which she did and I gave my gnosis up. But there is nothing in the contract covering the event of a third party bringing it back to me. So since it’s not specified in the contract, I can keep it without breaking the contract.” He explained.

“I knew she wants the gnoses to go up against Celestia for some reason. So there is a line in the contract stating that Liyue can’t be harmed through her actions or the consequences thereof. Which essentially was supposed to mean that if she goes against Celestia, she has to make sure that she protects Liyue from harm, else I will take the gnosis back.”

Ajax made a thoughtful noise. “But it also means if she harms Liyue in any way, that she breaks your contract, right? Because you haven’t, so the contract still stands as of now.”

Morax grinned at him, pleased. “Exactly. So if she attacks in any way, she breaks it. And you know what happens when people break contracts in Liyue.”

“The wrath of the rock,” Ajax chuckled.

“Yes. So if she attacks, I have valid reason to attack back. Firstly to defend my land and secondly to punish her as the god of contracts.”

“That’s actually pretty clever,” Guizhong said, sounding a little bit impressed.

“I’m not stupid,” he huffed.

She grinned back at him. “Could have sworn you are just a little bit, watching you be lovesick and pining for Ajax.”

“Well, he’s definitely smarter than I am,” Ajax piped up. “I thought I’m the dumbest man in Teyvat, falling for a literal archon. The joke is on me though, he loves me back.”

“He does so very, very much,” Morax confirmed, kissing the top of his head again and lingered for a moment.

Ajax tilted his head up and used his arm to pull him down towards him a little. A tender kiss was pressed onto his lips and he hummed, enjoying the warmth and the butterflies fluttering like crazy inside him.

“GOOD MORNING!”

“Teucer, don’t run like that, you’ll get hurt! Good morning!”

“Good Morning!”

They parted and turned to see Ajax’ three younger siblings walking around to sit down on one of the couches.

“Good morning, you three,” Morax said gently.

“Good morning!” Guizhong chimed in.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” Ajax asked, ever concerned for his younger siblings.

All three of them nodded, looking happy and well rested.

“The beds are very comfortable. I can’t remember that I’ve ever slept this well. A minute or two after my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light,” Tonia admitted, chuckling softly. “At home, we would sleep on mattresses made from straw and put blankets and furs on them to stay warm. But it never stayed warm all night anyhow. Sometime in the middle of the night, you’d still wake up shivering.”

“That shouldn’t happen here. Liyue gets colder during the winter, but not that cold. But for the colder days and nights, we have excellent woolen robes and blankets and furs. And there’s vents all throughout the palace that distribute the warmth from the hearth in all the rooms. So if there’s plenty of cooking done, the rooms stay nice and warm through the night.” Morax explained. “And the right foods and certain teas can help your body stay warm as well.”

“The liyuen winter will be a piece of cake for us snezhnayans!” Teucer grinned.

“The kids are so chipper since we arrived in Liyue,” Alexei said from behind them.

“Of course! It’s exciting,” Anthon said.

Tonia nodded. “I’m a little nervous to start school. But excited, too. I hope I will make some friends…”

“I’m sure you will. I know some people in the harbor around your age, and I’m sure you’ll get along just fine with them,” Ajax assured her, smiling warmly.

“That’s right. Xiangling is around your age. She’s cooked some of the food you had on your first day here, her father owns a restaurant where she helps. And then there’s some that we know that are just a little older than you, but you might get along well with all the same.” Morax said, nodding.

“Yeah, you might even be in the same class, who knows.”

“Is she nice?” The girl asked, a little cautious.

“She is, I promise. You’ll be fine, I know you will.” Ajax said firmly, not wanting to let there be a single shred of doubt in his sisters mind.

She looked a little better after that, like she really felt more sure that things would be alright. “What are the schools like, Zhongli?”

“Ah, I mean I have heard many good things about the schools. A lot of the funds go towards them and a lot of value is placed on education.”

“Did you like going to school?” Anthon asked curiously.

“Ha… I, uhm, never went. Back when I was still a child, the adepti lived secluded in Jueyun Karst and Nantianmen, two valleys quite a bit away from here. And while there were early kinds of schools, where the human young were taught basic necessities like reading and writing, I never went to something like that. It would have been unthinkable, an adeptus child being in such close contact with humans.”

“Why?” Teucer asked.

“Because there is a very big difference between humans and adepti. Back then, humans both were scared of adepti and worshipped them like gods. They called on them when necessary, but were more than happy to not have anything to do with them else. And the other way around, adepti didn’t really want to interact with humans. It was seen as pointless.

Humans have short lives in comparison. A hundred years is nothing for us adepti, it goes by in a flash. Making friends with humans was seen as useless, because many adepti would have gotten distracted by a project for a couple of years, only to find that the teenager they had befriended was an old man now.”

“And probably also a dash of massive superiority complex involved,” Ajax chuckled.

Morax laughed. “Mhm, yeah that is true.”

Teucer looked confused. “What is that?”

“It means someone thinks they’re better than you. So I meant to say that many of the adepti probably thought they were too good to talk to humans,” Ajax explained gently.

“Oooh! I hope I can meet some adepti some day,” Teucer said, absolutely determined.

“Oh I’m sure you will. There’s a few friendly ones in the harbor that I know. I’m sure you’ll meet them sooner or later.” Morax replied, nodding.

He couldn’t help but feel warm at how the little boy’s eyes lit up, full of wonder and excitement. Showing them around Liyue was going to be a lot of fun, wasn’t it?

Chapter Text

It wasn’t long after, that everyone was awake and sitting at the table in the dining room, enjoying breakfast.

Morax bent down a little, murmuring “Should we tell them now?” with a secretive smirk.

“Tell us what?” Rong asked, his draconic hearing of course having picked up on the words.

Immediately, the attention of the whole table was on them. He could feel his cheeks heat up, surely he was going bright red. Morax gave him an apologetic smile. With a chuckle, he gestured to the brunette to go ahead, receiving a happy grin in return.

“Come spring, we will get married,” Morax announced, looking so incredibly proud and happy, that it made Ajax feel warm and fuzzy all over. “Ajax asked me to marry him this morning, and I said yes.”

For a moment, there was total silence. It made him feel scared that everyone was going to think they were insane, marrying so soon. Or that Morax’ parents might not approve after all.

But then, complete chaos erupted around them.

He was completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people almost jumping them, hugging them, congratulating them. Excited chatter all around them. A whirlwind of people and words, and it took his breath away.

After a little while, everyone calmed down a little bit. But just a little.

“A spring wedding! That’s going to be so pretty!” Irina said. “I’m sure Liyue looks stunning in spring!”

“Oh it does!” Katya agreed. “So many trees start to blossom, it’s pleasantly warm, everything is green and beautiful and full with flowers, their scent in the air…”

Ajax could feel how Morax took his hand, so he looked at him. With a gentle smile, he brought the hand to his lips and tenderly kissed his knuckles. The ginger switched their hold around and did the same with the gods hand, delighting at the resulting blush.

Guizhong was clapping, grinning excitedly. “We’ll get to plan a wedding!”

“We are getting to help with the planning, right?” Yulia asked, careful.

Ajax just looked at Morax and immediately knew the answer. “Of course. What would we do without all of you? So far we only settled on a spring wedding and that we’d like to incorporate some traditions from both of our countries. Well, I think more liyuen style since we are in Liyue, but with snezhnayan traditions as well, what do you say?”

“Mhm, sounds like a plan,” the adeptus hummed, smile still not leaving his lips.

“Small or big ceremony?” His mother asked.

“On the bigger side, I’d say. Considering how many people we know?” Ajax replied, looking at Morax.

He nodded. “Yes, liyuen weddings usually have many guests. And there’s so many people that we both know, and then the people each of us know. Some people from other nations, too…”

“Let me guess, you’re inviting all your archon friends?” Ajax asked, leaning against his shoulders. “Hey, couldn’t you convince the famed bard of Mondstadt to play at our wedding?” He laughed, not at all serious. Even if the anemo archon liked to live like a normal person, didn’t mean he’d do something like playing music for another archons wedding.

“I’m sure he would like that. We’ll just have to make sure to keep enough wine and cider stocked for the drunkard,” the god replied. “We should be talking to master Diluc Ragnvindr of the Dawn Winery in Mondstadt about that.”

Ajax almost choked on the sip of tea he was just taking. “That- you better talk to him alone.”

“Huh, why that?” Morax looked at him curiously. “You know him?”

The former fatuus looked around, seeing his younger brothers distracted, excitedly chatting to their mother about ideas for the wedding. Like a life sized Mr. Cyclops. He would have to make sure to get that idea out of their head later-

“Not personally. But he is considered a persona non grata in Snezhnaya. His father died from a delusion when he was just eighteen years old. He tracked down where the delusions came from and traveled all the way to Snezhnaya. He singlehandedly took out about a third of Dottore’s subordinates. And that without a vision.”

“Without? Huh, I could swear I heard he has a pyro one. Hm. Maybe he got it afterwards,” the adeptus mused.

“No. Our intel said he got it when he was younger. He didn’t use it. People said he didn’t even wear it, at least not visibly. Maybe he didn’t even take it with him, who knows. But if he ever sets foot into Snezhnaya again, Pierro will go to take him out personally. So you can imagine that he probably doesn’t want to see someone like me, even if we never personally met. Her Majesty was about to send me to deal with things as the vanguard, but just around then, he left.”

“Well, we could go there and just not mention your former… employment situation.”

Ajax chuckled. “Right. I’m just a regular guy getting married to another regular guy. Nothing at all about us or our pasts that is strange in any way.”

“Exactly,” Morax grinned.

Ajax’ heart fluttered excitedly, he felt so incredibly giddy, happy, bursting with a manic energy that –opposite to the violent one that he was used to –  was warm and gentle. It felt like he could just go and get the whole planning done in two days tops, that’s how energized and excited he was. But of course, he also wanted to take his time. Talk it through, make the right decisions, savor the moments.

He would only get married once, after all. Save for any renewing of their vows that they might choose to do in the future. But then still, their initial vow would be this one time. And he wanted it to be a beautiful and happy day. It didn’t have to be absolutely perfect in every detail, he didn’t care about that.

For him, it was important that it was personal. That the people attending would be happy to see them getting married. And that they all would be able to enjoy that day together, eating, drinking, dancing, celebrating love and life alike.

Just what had his love for this man done with him? Reigniting those childhood dreams within him, bringing out the core of his very being that he thought he had lost so long ago. The call of the abyss used to be a constant roar in the back of his mind. Now, it was a mere whisper, only audible if he wasn’t distracted by anything at all.

“-ax? Ajax?”

“Hm?” He looked up, shaking his head to shake his thoughts away. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“Obviously,” his mother laughed. “Already picturing your wedding day?”

“Of course, who wouldn’t if they got to marry someone as amazing as I do?” He replied gently, nudging his shoulder against his partners. A soft kiss was pressed against his temple.

Morax put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer towards his body. Still, the smile didn’t seem to leave the brunettes lips. He looked so incredibly happy. And he had done that? By being with him, loving him, wanting to marry him?

The thought made even more warmth spread through the gingers body. Here he was, surrounded by a family he thought he had lost more than ten years ago. With a man he thought he would never have. Talking about their wedding.

Knowing Morax, there were just as many thoughts going through his mind as through his’. Planning a wedding was no easy task, even with help. They would have to look at so many different things and make decisions. Would have to come to agreements if they didn’t think the same of something.

“Are we going to have him pay ransom?” Alexei asked, laughing softly. “I volunteer to play along.”

“Pay ransom?” Morax asked, curious.

“I asked him to marry me, so if anyone would be paying ransom, it’d be me,” Ajax replied, shaking his head softly.

“It’s a snezhnayan tradition. Typically, the groom will go to the bride’s house and her family will have kidnapped her. Then they ask the groom to complete some tasks and pay a ransom of money, jewelry or some treats like chocolates or wine to hand her over to the groom. The groom pays, so the family hands over a fake bride. Which is often a brother or sister wearing a veil. Once the groom sees that it’s not his bride, the family will ask for larger ransom and then hand over the real bride. If there’s many siblings, this can go on for many rounds.

So if you’d have to do that for me, it could be that the first time, you’d get Irina. Then the second time, Alexei. Then Yulia. After that, Artyom. Maybe even Tonia. And then finally, me.”

“Ah,” Morax said, looking amused. “That sounds like a fun tradition.”

“Artyom did it with my mother. A friend of mine dressed up as me, because I don’t have any siblings. She had a lot of fun with it.” Maya said gently.

“You didn’t want to take her with you? Or did you think I wouldn’t have allowed her here? What an oversight on my part, I assumed it was a given that she could-“ Morax started, looking a little frazzled.

“Ah, no, no. She’s no longer with us. I have no family left of my own. My grandparents were already dead when I was born, my father died when I was still small. He was a fisherman, their boat sank in a storm. And mother died not long after our wedding, she was already very sick then.

She was quite a bit older than Nastja and Ivan are, my parents had me when they were around forty years old. So she was already almost seventy. She had health struggles for the past few years, I was lucky she was able to see me get married. Don’t worry, I would have asked about her when we started with the move.”

“I’m terribly sorry,” the god said softly.

“Thank you. It’s hard sometimes, but Nastja and Ivan treat me like their own daughter, that makes things a little easier. It’s something I’m really thankful for,” she said with a small smile. “And those we lost, will always stay in our hearts. As long as that is, they won’t truly be gone.”

Morax nodded. “That is true, something I understand very well.”

“So, to come back to the happy occasion! In Snezhnaya, you usually wear red for the wedding. What about Liyue?” Maya asked, taking a sip of her tea.

“Ah, perfect. Red and gold it is in Liyue. So we’d be able to respect both of our traditions with that color choice. And you are fond of red, my love,” he hummed.

Ajax quickly nodded. “Yeah, and you would look great in it, too. I… uhm, am actually unsure if I want to wear snezhnayan wedding attire or go more for the liyuen style… I feel snezhnayan attire would probably be way too warm.”

“Anything you want. If you prefer to marry in a liyuen robe, then that is just fine with me. If you want to wear something snezhnayan, we might be able to get something made from thinner materials. There’s still some time to think about it. I know you’ll look beautiful, no matter what you’ll wear,” the god said, leaning his head against Ajax’.

Morax hummed. “As for our guests, I think everyone can wear what they’d like, no? No matter which style. Or would you like to set a color scheme?”

“Hm, no, right? I think it’d be beautiful if everyone just wears what they like. Then we’d get people wearing all different colors. And I like the idea of it being a bright and colorful day. All kinds of flowers, too. Well, my opinion. If yours differs, then we can of course set up a color theme…” the ex fatuus mused. But the thought of it being a beautiful, sunny spring day, bright and colorful and happy… That sounded nice.

“Ah, no, completely agree on that. I always imagined my wedding to be colorful. I feel oftentimes, when giving color schemes, there’s always some people that don’t like the color or that don’t feel good when wearing them. Just like I always say that I don’t like wearing colder colors because I feel they don’t look good on me. I wouldn’t want our esteemed guests to feel like that, they should all feel great. Hm, and we’ll have to arrange for a photographer. Marvelous invention, those cameras.”

“We should probably start a notebook or something, considering how much we’re going to talk about all these things in the next few months,” Ajax laughed. “Not that we forget anything.”

“Very good idea, yes. And in a way, it would be a nice memory, too. Then we could keep it and see through all the things we wrote down,” the god added.

“How about a book for the ceremony, too?” Irina asked. “A friend of mine had a large book on a table during her wedding, and all the guests could go up to it, write and draw into it. Congratulations, well-wishes or little pieces of advice… They only looked at it after the wedding. I found that really cute.”

“That is cute,” Ajax said. That would be nice. Putting out a book so everyone could write something for them into it. Then reading through it together afterwards, cuddled together. As husbands.

The brunette nodded at his side. “I agree, that’s a lovely idea. Thank you for the suggestion.”

“Ah, no problem at all,” Irina grinned. “It’s so exciting, Artyom is the only one of us siblings who’s married so far, so of course we all want to make sure you’ll have a wonderful wedding.”

“And nobody thought I’d ever get married, probably,” Ajax muttered, just loud enough for Morax to hear.

The other man chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m looking very much forward to marrying you.”

“Likewise, else I wouldn’t have asked,” he replied teasingly, moving to press a kiss onto the brunettes cheek. “And I was really scared you would say no, even after everything we went through to get here.”

“I would never. You know about the chopsticks. So of course I would say yes.”

“Hm, you could have still changed your mind, who knows.”

“No. I wanted to marry you since the moment I first saw you,” the god admitted, eyes shining with affection.

“Awww,” Yulia cooed. “They’re so cute.”

Ajax pressed another kiss on his cheek. “Mhm, I’m truly lucky to have this incredible man. To think that we both wanted this for so long, and we both didn’t want to admit it, out of fear…”

“Truly insufferable times,” Guizhong piped up with a teasing grin.

“It was hard not to lock you two in Ajax’ office,” Katya added. “Those lovesick looks you gave each other were really obvious.”

“It was painful,” Guizhong said. “P-A-I-N-F-U-L, you hear me? I should get paid damages.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” Morax huffed, though fond.

“I’m not!”

“I’m afraid, she isn’t,” Lian laughed. “It really was painfully obvious with you two. I knew the moment I woke up, with the way you looked at each other. And every single day, I was just thinking that the coin has to drop sometime, doesn’t it? But it didn’t. And not the next day either. And the one after that was also a no…”

The god looked at her with a scandalized expression. “Mama! Which side are you on?”

“The side of the truth, which in this case lies with Guizhong, my dear,” she replied with a gentle smile.

“Slander,” he huffed, laughing softly.

Guizhong shook her head. “If it’s three people saying the truth, it can’t be slander. And that was nothing but the truth. I wanted to hold your head in my left hand, Ajax’ head in my right hand… And just shove you two together! Kiss and be done with it, congratulations you love each other you dense bricks!”

Ajax laughed at how she animatedly moved with her words, showing how she would have done it, shoving their imaginary heads together.

“Good thing they didn’t need the shoving in the end,” Lian chuckled.

“Celestia preserve me if they would have kept pining for much longer. I think then Morax’ birthday present would have been to get locked up with Ajax.”

“Hang on –  when is your birthday even? You never told me. And I never asked before, I think,” Ajax blinked. No, he couldn’t remember ever hearing. And he was sure he would have made a point of remembering. “Oh Gods, please tell me I didn’t miss it without realizing. Wait, you did say I met you after your last birthday. And you said you turn 6850 this year…”

Morax chuckled fondly, shaking his head. “Don’t worry. It’s the last day of the year on the teyvatian calendar. December 31^st.”

“Oooh. That’s a good day. Come to think of it, I never told you mine either. Even if we were on speaking terms again by then, I guess I just never really thought about it because I used to not really celebrate it the past years. Mine’s the 20^th of July.”

“Mhm, right in the middle of summer. How fitting for you. I will make sure that you will enjoy your birthdays from here on out,” the god said, looking determined.

He had stopped celebrating them after the abyss. In the fatui, nobody cared. And he often made a point not to visit home that day, because he didn’t know what would be worse – nobody acknowledging it or everyone painfully pretending that they cared, when they didn’t. At least that was, what he used to think.

“From now on, we’ll have to throw big parties,” Teucer said excitedly. “Big brother was always busy on his birthday the last years!”

“Yeah, from now on, we’ll celebrate,” Ajax said with a smile.

Because now, things were very different, after all. And now, the thought of celebrating with friends and family made him incredibly happy. No matter if it was a wedding, a holiday or a wedding.

Chapter Text

After breakfast, Morax decided to bring the letter to Ganyu, to make sure that Ningguang would be informed about the situation as soon as possible. So he changed into his mortal disguise and made his way to Yujing Terrace, making sure to bundle himself up into a warm coat. It really had gotten cold quickly, maybe they’d get a first minor snowfall soon.

Last year around this time, it had been a little warmer still. But that was normal, some years it’d get colder faster and in some slower. Some would be colder throughout the whole year, some warmer. He’d seen every combination plenty of times in his life and learnt not to be annoyed by the weather, just taking it as it was every single day. After all, every kind of weather was necessary for nature, and had their own good sides.

As he stepped into Yuehai Pavilion, Ganyu met his gaze from the small front desk. “Zhongli-Xiansheng, what a surprise. Good morning.”

“Good morning, Ganyu. No need to be so formal, we’ve known each other for so long,” he replied gently. Surely, she would honor his request.

She smiled and nodded. “What can I help you with?”

“Is anyone around?” He asked carefully, seeing that nobody was in their immediate sight. But maybe they were in other rooms and could overhear them talking, so he would have to be much more careful.

“Just me right now. The Tianquan won’t be back before after lunch, she has a meeting with captain Beidou that’ll extend to a shared lunch. And the Yuheng is on a short trip to Qingce village, discussing some things with madam Ruoxin. I’m not sure when she will be back, she left in the early morning. The other employees are all out as well, doing this or that.”

“Good, so we can talk freely then. It’s been a while since we’ve been able to talk,” he replied. “I believe shortly after the rite of passing even.”

She nodded. “Yes, that seems right. When you called for me and told me about your retirement. I’m always so busy with work, and you always have a lot to do with the funeral parlor too. But from what I’ve seen from afar, you seem to be quite happy with how things are. I caught a glimpse of you just this morning, walking back to your apartment with that redhaired harbinger.”

He could feel warmth well up inside him at the thought of his beloved. “Ah. Yes, about that. We… we are in a relationship. Will be getting married in spring, actually. The formal invitations will be sent out at a later date, but I’d be happy if you’d be able to take some time out of your busy schedule to attend. But no pressure, of course. If you can’t, or don’t want to, that’s completely fine,” he quickly assured.

After all, he knew just how busy she was, working hard to help the Qixing with running Liyue smoothly. She had done a great job, hardworking and diligent as she was. Even though she was still quite shy around humans.

Her eyes widened a little. “You will be getting married? What a surprise. Congratulations, of course I would be more than happy and honored to attend such an event. Please let me know anytime if I can be of any help beforehand.”

“Thank you so much, I appreciate it.”

Ganyu put her fingers to her chin, making a thoughtful noise. “Isn’t it going to cause problems though? I cannot imagine that the cryo archon is going to be happy about such a union… But well, I don’t know her at all, so I could be wrong. Isn’t she supposed to be the goddess of love? So then she should be fine with it…”

Zhongli grimaced. “Well, we already have quite a few problems. But nothing that will matter much, in the long run. Which is actually why I’m here. Ajax, he… he was under investigation within the fatui because he got too close to me. And the secretary from the Northland Bank as well for having made friends with people in the harbor.

So he was called back to Snezhnaya, and I hid in his scarf. Well, making sure he would be safe. He spoke to the Tsaritsa. And being the goddess of love, she was able to read his feelings for me. Which, well, I didn’t know of before that, but apparently we’ve been in love with each other since we met, so…”

The god sighed, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. “They were exiled and stripped of their ranks. We were able to bring Ajax’ whole family with us, they’re currently residing in my realm. And then apparently, all of the subordinates he had, quit the fatui. A bit over twenty people, I believe. So they will not be able to go back to Snezhnaya as well.

Would you be able to get the paperwork ready for me, so these people can become citizens of Liyue? I’d need… many forms. But I believe since I am kind of involved with them being cast out of their nation, I should take responsibility…”

Ganyu hummed, tapping her fingers onto the desk. “I understand, you feel offering them a home in your own nation is the least that you can do in this situation, right?”

“Yes, exactly. I will go to them with the forms myself, director Hu said she might be able to employ some of them and have a chat with the young master of the Feyun trade guild as well. Could you get me… Hm, maybe 50 forms? I need 15 just for Ajax, his family and Katya. And I’m not sure how many subordinates it was exactly. Of course, I’ll bring back any we didn’t need.”

“Of course, I can just quickly count them out. Just give me a moment, I’ll be right back!” She said, disappearing behind a few tall cabinets. He could hear a drawer opening and the sound of papers rustling.

A moment later, Ganyu came back with the papers stacked on her arm, taking a large envelope as she passed the pile of it. She put the papers down in front of him, so he could read them. “It’s fairly easy to fill out. We just need all their personal information, names, dates of birth, reason for immigration… You can just put something along the lines of them being exiled there, if it’s fine with you I’ll address the matter directly with Lady Ningguang to make sure they all get approved without much hassle.”

Zhongli nodded. “Of course, of course. Yes, it seems to be very comprehensive. Thank you very much. About this whole matter… There is another problem. As you are aware, my contract with the cryo archon included me giving up my gnosis to her. Well, angry as he was about being exiled, Ajax took the geo and anemo gnoses when he left the palace. Which, of course, is going to make her very angry once she realizes.”

Ganyu’s eyebrows shot up and she laughed very softly. “Oh my, he’s something, isn’t he? I think I’m starting to understand why you like him so much. If I may, with all due respect, almost as reckless as you have been at times, a long time ago.”

He couldn’t help but laugh as well. “You’re not wrong. I used to be very reckless in my younger days. If it hadn’t been for my shield, I don’t think I would have come out alive of the archon war with how foolish I acted at times.”

“I think this is the first time that I have seen you laugh ever since the archon war. And even then you didn’t do it like this. A lot more restrained. He seems to have a good influence on you, if you start to relax like that.”

The god looked at her with surprise. “You don’t think it’s… strange? Not seeing me the way I was all these years?”

Ganyu tutted softly, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t say strange. You had an immense duty on your shoulders, that was a heavy burden. And you forget that I, other than many other people, know just how young you really were back then. Of course, that kind of pressure changes someone.

I guess, if I may say so, I’ve always found it more sad than anything else. Seeing how hard you worked to keep that absolute perfect exterior. You… always seemed to pressure yourself to meet your own expectations. More so, than what people actually expected of you. Ah, I’m sorry, I hope you don’t take this badly!” She looked a little timid, hands nervously moving behind her back.

Her words surprised him. He always thought that Ganyu – who held him in such high regard – was one of the people who did hold such expectations of him. “I-“ he started, feeling a little at a loss for words. He knew she was honest. Ganyu wouldn’t lie to him.

“You’re right. I put immense pressure on myself all these years. Because I did feel like it was expected of me. Being anything less than perfect wasn’t an option. I… I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I held myself back, thinking if people saw me being anything less than utmost perfection, then they would be disappointed. And I didn’t want that…”

The woman smiled gently and shook her head again. “You know, I have been living amongst the people of the harbor for a long time. And while I haven’t been able to fully integrate with the humans, I hear many things on my walks around the harbor.

I don’t think people would be upset to see that you are so much more than what you’ve shown them all this time. Not someone as unfeeling and unflinching as stone itself, but someone who lives and feels, just like them. Even if in much grander scale, of course, considering life expectancy.”

“So you think if people knew that I’m still alive and would see me walk around laughing and enjoying my life, they wouldn’t think any less of me?”

“I would dare to say that they’d think even better of you. They would be happy for you. And they would appreciate seeing a different side of you. Are you planning to reveal yourself, then?” She asked, leaning onto the table a little with her arms.

“It might be necessary. If the Tsaritsa attacks, it’s not something humans or adepti can deal with. And Xiao reported that all fatui forces surrounding Wangshu Inn have made their way towards the harbor. So I think she is trying to gather her forces here. Which is what this letter is about, please forward it to Lady Ningguang. It explains the whole situation.

I am asking her not to interfere, if the cryo archon comes here, then I will be the one making sure that Liyue will be unharmed. She sacrificed enough fighting against Osial and Beisht, she’s more than proven her skill and dedication. But this… stems from a private matter, as well as that another archon attacking is a completely different magnitude.”

“It certainly is… Well, if you need me, I will heed your call, as I’ve always done. I have fought by your side against gods, I am not scared of her. Even if I am a cryo vision holder, especially seeing as she is not the archon I received my vision from.” She said, looking at him firmly.

Even if Ganyu could be a little shy around humans, she certainly shouldn’t be underestimated. In the archon war, she had been a strong ally, taking down foes from afar with skilled and precise shots from her bow.

Not long after the archon war, when she had made the decision to help the first members of the Qixing by becoming their secretary, she had received her vision. So it had been given by the values determined by Stolas, not the ones by Saleos.

Zhongli smiled at her. “Thank you. I will keep that in mind. I just want to make sure that everyone will be safe. Of course, I will have to wait and see what happens. Ajax is already determined to fight, as well,” he said, chuckling softly at the thought of his fiancé.

Ganyu blinked. “That seems a bit dangerous… Though, with your shield even a human would probably be fine… May I ask…? I have only seen him a handful of times, but I noticed something about his energy. It reminds me of abyss mages, just ever so slightly. It’s probably nothing, I don’t know why I feel that way.”

“Well, you are a qilin. So you are more sensitive to such energies than others. But you are right, he fell into the abyss as a child and has since carried it with him. Which is one of the reasons I would even let him fight, he is stronger and more resilient than a normal human. I think, if you ever have some time, you would quite like him.”

“Oh, that’s… extraordinary. I have not yet heard of a human surviving something like that,” she said, tapping her fingers onto the table. “No, not that I can think of…”

“Ah, also… A lot has happened in the last… two, three weeks. It’s quite… insane, I really can’t say it differently. It turns out that Guizhong didn’t die. She reverted to her form of a dust sprite and has spent the past few thousand years gathering energy to get her corporeal form back. We found her a little while ago when we went to the guili plains, I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”

Ganyu’s eyes widened in surprise, her hands clapping together. “Lady Guizhong is alive? Does Xiao already know? Oh, how wonderful!”

“He saw her this morning, when he came to report about the fatui agents. He was very much overwhelmed,” he replied. It had been nice to see the young adeptus like that, hugging Guizhong and holding onto her for dear life.

“I definitely have to make some time for a visit.”

“Whenever you feel like it. You can just knock at the door of my apartment, I’ll hear it inside the realm and let you in. I… have my parents back, too. Turns out that before her not-death, Guizhong heard about a qilin that had sealed herself in Mt. Aocang. Once she was back, she told me, and when we went to investigate we found my mother.

And then just a few days ago, we were speaking about my father… And apparently for the first time, I spoke about details surrounding his death. And she knew that the way I said he was, could only mean that he was still alive. Turned to stone, but alive, gathering elemental energy to heal himself. So I got my father back, as well.”

She smiled at him gently. “Oh wow, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you, you must have missed them a lot! I’d love to meet them some time, I believe your mother is actually my auntie… I mean, we never met, my father just mentioned that he no longer speaks to one of his sisters because she decided to marry a dragon…”

“Thank you. And yeah, that tracks, I had a vague memory that we’ve spoken about possibly being related before. I’m sure when you talk to her, we’ll be able to get a clearer view on that.”

“If it’s true, we’d be cousins,” she said, chuckling a little bit.

Zhongli smiled, brushing a stray strand of his bangs out of his face. “I’m sure she’s going to be very excited to meet you.”

He could hear the door opening. As he turned a little bit, he could see Keqing stepping inside, looking at him surprised. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Lady Keqing,” he replied, bowing his head ever so slightly in respect. “Well, I have everything I needed. Ah, right. We will need to get an official marriage certificate then, right?”

Ganyu nodded. “Indeed, but you can just come and fill that out in the morning of the wedding. Or even the day after the ceremony, it doesn’t matter much. Or I can take it with me, you fill it out when you have the time, and I’ll take it back. So you won’t have to worry about it.”

He could see her shuffling the papers on her desk around a little bit, hiding the letter he had given her under them so that Keqing wouldn’t see and maybe connect the dots of his identity.

“You’ll be getting married? I didn’t even know you were in a relationship. The people of the harbor will be upset, you’ve long since been the most eligible bachelor ever since the heir of the Feyun trade guild got married,” Keqing said, shaking her head. “And nobody puts their hope into the second son, it’s painfully obvious he’s in love with the exorcist boy.”

Zhongli chuckled softly. Well, she wasn’t wrong, those two were painfully obvious. He wondered if Ajax and him had been the same for the whole harbor. After all, they’d spent months being in love with each other, yearning for each other.

“I am afraid, we’ve only been together shortly, after months of dancing around each other. So we do not want to waste much more time and will be getting married in spring. But I’m sure there’ll be plenty of other bachelors that people can focus on from now on.”

“Huh, a whirlwind romance. I didn’t think you’d be the type for that. But of course, I don’t know you well…” She admitted, shrugging.

“Well, sometimes you just get exceptionally lucky and find the one person who completes your soul. It truly is the greatest luck. Ah yes, Ganyu, just so you know, you will be able to bring someone with you, if you so please. We’re planning it to be a big celebration… Well, if people will want to attend, of course.”

The young qilin smiled, nodding. “Thank you, I will think about it. I’m sure people are going to be excited to see you two getting married. Seeing you finally happy. You clearly are very happy with him, it’s really just radiating off of you.”

Zhongli chuckled, feeling warmth rise in his cheeks. “I am. I can’t remember that I’ve ever been this happy before. I… uhm, can’t wait to get to call him my husband. It’s all so exciting, I didn’t really think I would ever get married.”

“Understandable. I am glad you found someone that you are this happy with. You deserve to be. And I’m sure everyone else will agree.” Ganyu said gently, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. Then she stacked the papers into a neat pile, letter hidden within.

“Thank you. Well, I should get going. We’re going to have a lot of paperwork to fill out. And if his family is anything like Ajax, they’re not going to be happy about that. He certainly hates paperwork.”

She laughed softly. “Good luck with that, then. If anything is unclear, you can just come ask me or just leave it out and we’ll talk about it when you bring them back. Just fill them out to the best of your knowledge.”

“I will. Until some other time. Goodbye, Ganyu. Goodbye, Lady Keqing.” He said, bowing politely before turning to leave, hearing them say goodbye back before he closed the door behind him.

Chapter Text

Ajax had exited the dining room together with Morax, likely to walk him to the realm exit and give him a proper goodbye. Even if he said he wouldn’t be long, with how those two were, it seemed like the most logical conclusion.

Rong stayed seated with the others for a little while, listened to their excited chatter about the upcoming wedding and all the planning that would go into it. Not that he wasn’t interested in it, but there wasn’t much he could contribute. After all, the only wedding he had ever seen had been his own. And he was very much aware that it was the absolute bare minimum. They hadn’t had much, after all, it had been a simple life.

The most extravagant things had been their rings. It only had been the two of them, in human disguise, and a human priest. He had married them with nobody else around when they had explained their situation. 

He didn’t have any family anymore; both his parents had died long ago. Lian did have family, but she had been cast aside by them because she loved him. He had never wanted her to lose her family. But stubborn as she was, she had other plans. She was convinced it was the right decision, even if she would never see them again.

A while after their wedding, she had started getting ill. He had been worried out of his mind, bringing tincture over tincture from every healer he could find. Nauseous as she was, it was hard for her to keep food down. Even the soups and stews he made. In his desperation, he almost wanted to try and force her to eat meat, hoping that maybe her body was just lacking something. But qilin never ate meat, so it really couldn’t be that.

The bloated swell of her stomach scared him, worried that he was going to lose his wife to some mystery illness. Until the nausea subsided after a few weeks, as if it never existed in the first place. But the swell stayed and grew noticeably. It was around that time, that he could feel something different about her energy. Something foreign.

In his panic, he hadn’t considered one option. One, that was known to him, but its symptoms not really, considering how young he had been when his parents had died. So the cause, but not the specifics of this condition had come up.

They were going to have a child.

Which was both a terrifying and exciting revelation. They had talked about it before they even were married, they wanted a child someday. But now that it wasn’t just a “someday” but a “soon”, it scared him. His own father had died when he had been very young. His mother not that much later. Would someone like him even be able to be a good father?

But of course, as always, Lian saw right through him. She always knew when he was worrying too much – which was a very common occurrence – and knew just how to make it stop. Reassure all his worries and fears. Trusting him more than he did himself.

She trusted him, told him that she knew he would be a good father. That she couldn’t see him being anything but doting and loving, just like he was with her. Lian was sure that their baby would love him. And like always, she had been right.

Morax had been their pride and joy. An adorable child, with squishy cheeks and large, expressive eyes. Lian had been so happy when their son was born having his eye color. At first, it was hard to see whose hair color he had inherited. After he was born, it had been almost black, like his hair was. But gradually, as he became a toddler, it lightened to Lian’s color. Which in turn, made Rong happy. Having their features combined like this was exciting, and their child was absolutely beautiful.

It seemed to be only a blink away. But now, Morax was an adult. Still beautiful, having earned himself blackened arms with golden lines of geo energy and amber colored highlights in his hair when he ascended to godhood.

Their little baby had become a god of many things and won the archon war, reigning over Liyue as the geo archon for thousands of years. It was hard to imagine. They had missed so much, hadn’t been there for so much. But now they were, and he couldn’t wait to hear about all the things Morax would tell.

He had always been proud of his son, he always thought he couldn’t be any prouder. But he stood corrected, hearing what he achieved had made him feel even more proud of him than he had felt before. Surviving the archon war was difficult in itself. But Morax hadn’t just survived. He hadn’t just defended himself or hid somewhere. No, he had actively taken part in it to win. And had won.

Rong almost felt overwhelmed in the face of all that his once tiny son had become and all that he had done.

And now, he would see his son getting married. It was a little strange for him, considering he had missed such a large part of Morax’ life. Last time he had seen him, he had been a teenager still. Far away from finding a partner or getting married.

Not that he was against it, not at all. It simply left him feeling strange, full of regret of how much he had missed. If only he hadn’t gotten injured. He hadn’t known about this ability to heal himself; he had assumed he would be taking his last breath. But then if that hadn’t happened, maybe Morax wouldn’t have become an archon.

And from what he heard so far, that had been a good thing. Liyue thrived with Morax’ influence, even now that he was retired. He was sure that his guidance still influenced the people. After all, he had watched over them for thousands of years.

Rong excused himself, he felt a little restless, maybe pent-up energy from being in such a state for such a long time. Doing some drills with his spear would do him good, and he’d been shown the training field a while ago after all.

As he walked there, he could hear the telltale sound of blades moving through the air. Soon, he could see Ajax move in the training area, expertly swinging a double bladed glaive. It wasn’t a normal weapon though; it was blue and translucent. He had never seen anything like it. It was quite fascinating to watch.

His movement were both elegant and powerful. Clearly, he was very experienced using this weapon. Then, he held his hands on either side of the glaive and it seamlessly changed into dual swords, with which he kept going with the same fluid motions.

Rong hadn’t had much chance to speak to the redhaired man much yet. He wasn’t really sure what to say or what to do. His own father in law had never wanted a relationship to form between them. Well, not between him and Lian either. But he didn’t want to do that to Morax and Ajax.

After all, Ajax seemed to be nice. He was determined to be with Morax, clearly loving him fiercely. Lian seemed to like him a lot, treating him like a second son already. He didn’t want them to think that he would be in the way, just because he often wasn’t sure what to say. His overthinking had always been a bit of a problem.

And from the looks of it, he was a skilled fighter. Surely that was something Morax appreciated. Someone standing by his side with his own strength, not just relying on him. Someone who didn’t want him because he was the geo archon, but for who he was as a person.

The swords turned into liquid and disappeared, and only now he realized that Ajax was looking at him questioningly.

“…Hello,” Rong pressed out, feeling a little awkward. How embarrassing, being caught watching him like that.

“Ah, sorry, did you want to use the field? I’m done, I just wanted to get some quick practice in. It’s been a few days…”

“Ah, don’t worry, it’s fine. I, uhm, was just impressed with your weapons and your skills. I have never seen anything like these weapons.” Good. Good. Being honest would be good, right? “Quite fascinating how they disappeared like that.”

“It’s because they’re made from water. I’m drawing out the moisture of my surroundings and create my weapons with it. I can make water from nothing, but that takes more energy, which can be annoying…” He replied, humming lightly. He moved his hands around in the air and the water gathered in large drops around it. Then, with a flick of his wrist, it turned into a dagger.

“And they hold, even if they’re water?”

“Sure. Wanna test it?” Ajax asked, grinning. “I heard you’re good with a spear.”

“Maybe a little bit rusty, considering how long I was a stone statue, but back in the day I was quite good. I taught Morax how to fight with them,” he explained, summoning his spear.

“Oh well, I don’t mind, don’t let that stop you.” The redhaired man said, moving his dagger and changing it back to the double sided glaive. An excited grin was on his lips, clearly looking forward to this. Well, he could relate to the excitement of a good spar.

He charged at the other man, hitting the pole of the glaive with the pole of his spear, pushing hard against it, testing its sturdiness. Indeed, it held up just like wood or metal would. Fascinating. Ajax chuckled, pushed his weapon forwards and twisted it. He almost hit Rong’s side, but he was able to turn out of the way in time. He brought his spear up and tried to use it to twist the glaive out of Ajax’ hand, but without success.

They kept going for a little while, each of them trying to get the upper hand. Ajax seemed to be quite strong. His energy did feel powerful, like a storm front coming at you, relentless rain drenching everything in its path.

He blocked another strike, the younger man looking a little miffed.

“Rusty my ass,” Ajax laughed. “You just wanted me to underestimate you, huh?”

“Not at all, I am a little rusty. I do notice the difference.” He replied with a hum, rolling his wrist.

“Just how strong were you back then in that case?”

“Dragons of all kinds are powerful creatures. Out of the beasts, ours is the power that is closest to that of gods. Before the archon war, us mountain dragons of Mt. Aocang were the ones protecting the valleys Nantianmen and Jueyun Karst. But even so, we died out fast. There were only ever a few to begin with. By the time that I was born, my father and mother were the last full blooded adult mountain dragons left. Then later, me.”

“Everyone else mixed with other blood?” Ajax asked curiously.

Rong made a noncommittal noise. “Dragons aren’t desirable partners for many, due to how we love. There are very few dragon hybrids, if any. The only one I know of is Morax. But of course, they could be others. Maybe there were and they fell during the archon war. I wouldn’t know, I didn’t see much of the war.”

Ajax looked a little troubled, worrying his lower lip with his teeth. “Do you...” he trailed off, looking unsure.

“Hm?”

“Can I… Can I ask you something? And get a honest reply?”

“Sure?” He said, raising an eyebrow. He wondered what the young man wanted to know.

“Do you think I’m not good enough for Morax?”

Rong blinked, surprised by the question.

“It’s just… I don’t want him to have problems with you because of me. The last thing I want is to cause a rift between him and you. I know what it’s like to have a difficult relationship with family, that has been my life for more than the past ten, almost twelve even, years. We’re only slowly fixing things…”

“Why do you think that I think that?” Rong asked.

“I mean I’m not sure of course, it’s just something that went through my mind… Morax insists it’s not that, he says it’s more… I mean Lian already said you’re an overthinker, I’m as well. And Morax said maybe it’s because of what happened with Lian’s parents… I just don’t want there to be any hard feelings. I mean, if you don’t like me, there’s probably not much I can do, but… Ah, rambling again…” He muttered, shaking his head.

Rong shook his as well. “It’s not that I have a dislike for you. Or that I think you’re not good enough. You made quite the impression with your bold declaration of love for my son. It is very much how those two said. I am… how do people say… socially awkward? A little. Not good at talking to strangers. And overthinking. So I’ll constantly second guess anything I want to say, and when I finally settled on something to say, I keep worrying I made a fool of myself.

And I am going to be your father in law. I never had one myself, considering Lian’s parents cast her out when she decided to be with me. So I’m not sure what to do, what to say, how to act. I don’t want to be overbearing but also not come across as… as if I can’t stand you.”

The redhead looked relieved, taking a deep breath. “Good. I’m glad. Because I would like to have a good relationship with the two of you. I mean, my brother… His mother in law basically adopted him, he was like a son for her for the few years that they knew each other while him and his wife were dating. And my parents treat his wife like their own daughter too. I mean, I don’t mean that I expect anything like that of you! But I would like a good relationship.”

“I would like that,” Rong said, nodding. “It’s clear that you love Morax very much. So I’m glad that if he fell in love with a human, that it was you. That I was worried doesn’t really have anything to do with you, personally. I used to annoy Lian terribly because I kept telling her that I would let her go, that I didn’t want her to lose her family over me, that I didn’t want her to feel stuck with me…”

Ajax chuckled softly. “Yeah, she told me about that. But trust me, I’m just as stubborn as she is. I want to look back onto hundreds, thousands of anniversaries with him one day. I gave up everything that I worked hard for during the last ten years, just to be by his side. Even before I knew that he loves me, too. And I don’t regret it, it was worth it even when I thought we would only ever be friends. That’s how much he means to me.

I love him so much, even my own archon – who is the goddess of love, as much as she dislikes it – said it was extraordinary. Which pissed her off quite much, as you can probably imagine.”

“Mh, well I guess humans still have surprises to show,” Rong mused. Who could ever say they knew everything. Certainly not him.

“I’m not just human. And maybe that’s why. I am Snezhnayan and we do take love very, very seriously. But I’m also partially tainted by the abyss. And who knows if – and if yes, then how strongly – abyss monsters are able to love. Maybe their love is just as possessive and everlasting as a dragon’s, who knows? Maybe this inhuman part of me that was… forced onto me, in a way, is what’ll enable me to love him forever. Maybe… me being partially an abyss monster can be a good thing, too.”

“Hm. Intriguing. Lian briefly did explain this… abyss-taint to me. Quite fascinating, it is unlike anything that I have ever heard of. But it seems to be a power as primordial as the elements themselves.”

“I honestly don’t know that much about it. I mean I did learn a fair bit in the three months I spent in the abyss, but you could spend three years in there and still learn new things. My master has been there for goddess knows how long and she didn’t know everything yet. She still got surprised at times,” Ajax said with a shrug.

“Hmh, I can relate. As you saw, I don’t know everything about dragons either and I am a dragon. But due to our numbers diminishing heavily and fast, a lot of knowledge wasn’t preserved. My parents already had a very limited knowledge, and they surely weren’t able to tell me everything they knew.”

“Morax mentioned. It’s a pity, so much ancient knowledge… just lost. Gone forever. Though, Guizhong might know a little more. She knew about this… petrified state. She’s the goddess of dust, literally old as dust,” the redhead said, letting his glaive disappear with a flick of his wrist.

Rong let his spear disappear as well and nodded. “Right, she did know about that. Perhaps she has some other knowledge that I don’t. I will ask her sometime, thank you for the suggestion.”

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

“Still. I had fun doing this little spar with you, I hope we can repeat that sometime? Get my stamina back up a little bit again,” he chuckled.

“I’d like that. I sometimes spar with Morax too. Because of my abyss taint, I often feel restless. Though being around him helps, it calms me down. But it’s still good to have people that I can train with for fun. I enjoy a good challenge, I don’t even care if I lose,” Ajax admitted, laughing.

“I agree, that’s not even important.”

Quiet footsteps approached, and as he turned his head he could see Morax walk up to the training field. “Oh, you’re back already?”

“Yes, I was able to make quick work of everything thanks to an old friend,” Morax replied with a smile, walking to Ajax and kissing his temple. “Did you two spar?”

“Just a little bit. I saw Ajax practicing and was curious about his weapons. I wanted to test them against a real one,” Rong admitted. “I’ve never seen anything like them, very interesting.”

“Mhm, yes, they’re quite a feat. They surprised me, too. Did you have fun, baba?”

Rong nodded. “Of course. He’s a skilled fighter, didn’t make it easy for me. Very fitting as the future husband of the warrior god.”

He could see something light up in Morax’ eyes, and he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Maybe plain pride of his partner, or maybe he was happy to hear that his old man approved of his husband to be.

Either way, he was glad to see Morax so happy.

Chapter Text

Ajax groaned, put the brush down and let himself fall to the side. He could hear soft laughter as he fell into Morax’ side, who immediately put an arm around his shoulders. Disgruntled, he hid his face against the gods shoulder.

“I hate paperwork,” he complained. “And that’s so much!”

“At least you just have to fill these out once. See the bright side, if we’re done with them soon, we you’ll all officially be liyuen citizens soon.”

“You know what I was thinking?” Ajax asked, huffing. “Your contract with the Tsaritsa says she can’t harm Liyue. But we aren’t part of Liyue. Technically, she can harm us without breaking the contract.”

“Mhhh, no. That’s not how this works. In the history of Liyue, the people setting foot on these lands have traditionally been treated like our own. The moment you step foot into Liyue, you are a part of it in some way. I at least never made a distinction either between people native to these lands and people living here temporarily  or who moved here from other lands for good. Or even visitors.

And additionally, you all have been exiled from Snezhnaya. So you’re no longer a part of it either, in that sense. If she harms any of you, the contract is broken. Trust the god of contracts on that one.”

“Ah, so I don’t need to worry then. Good. I’m relieved.” The redhead mumbled against his shoulders, cuddling into his side. “Thank you.”

“No need to,” the god chuckled, bending down a little to press a kiss onto the top of his head.

“You were right, by the way. About your father. He was worried because he never had a father in law himself,” Ajax said softly. “We talked a little bit before you came.”

“Oh? So you two have managed to talk it out?”

“Well, I know now that he doesn’t have a problem with me and he knows I don’t have a problem with him either. So we’re both on the same page about wanting to have a good relationship with each other.”

“That’s great. I’m glad you were able to address this with each other. Baba has always been an overthinker, just like I am as well. Though, you have such tendencies too…” Morax said, humming thoughtfully.

“Absolutely. I’m a terrible overthinker. I spent months thinking I’d lose you if you ever got a slight hint that I’m in love with you.” Ajax admitted. “Or you should have been able to hear my thoughts after the Tsaritsa revealed my feelings. They were racing in all directions, I was thinking about fifty possible scenarios at once – and in none of them you were in love with me, too.”

“Meanwhile my thoughts were going around in a circle: He loves me, he loves me, he loves me, he loves me,” the god chuckled.

“We’re both idiots.”

Morax nudged him playfully. “I guess.”

“I hope Xiao approves of me one day, too. I know he’s important to you.”

“He’ll come around, probably. He’s always had difficulties with new people, especially because he’s so careful because of his karmic debt.” Morax said, his hand brushing through his bangs.

“About that… Ah, nevermind, it’s stupid.” Ajax shook his head.

No, the thoughts that he had gotten earlier were definitely stupid. Morax had known the other adeptus for who knows how long exactly. In which Xiao had done his duty as a yaksha. Millennia, probably. So who was he, that he thought he knew anything?

“Hm?”

“Forget about it, it’s nothing,” Ajax hurried to say. It really wasn’t anything.

“Come on, tell me. I’ve never ridiculed you or anything, have I?” The god said gently, coaxing.

“I just had a thought, but it’s dumb. Of course you already tried everything to cure that karmic debt stuff.”

“If you have any idea, you can tell me,” he replied easily.

“You guys have definitely already tried it. You’re so knowledgeable about everything, and Guizhong too. No way you didn’t try that.”

“Who knows, we won’t know until you tell me.”

“Irminsul.”

Morax was eerily quiet and Ajax lifted his head to look up at him. Seeing the god sit there with a dumbfounded expression, blinking down at him.

“Irminsul?” He asked.

“You know, the trees? Of course you know. I just had the thought because I sat between Irminsul roots in the abyss. It helped stabilize the abyss energy in me. So I could harness it properly and that it wouldn’t change me permanently. So I just wondered if that wouldn’t work with the energy that Xiao accumulates. Of course it’s different than the abyss energy…”

“What would work with Xiao’s karmic debt?” Guizhong’s voice came from behind them. She walked around the couch and sat down across from them, looking both worried and hopeful.

“Ajax used Irminsul to stabilize the abyss energy within him. He wondered if it might help Xiao.” Morax explained, looking at her.

“I-I mean you surely already tried that, right? You don’t have to pretend you didn’t, it was just a thought, nothing particularly smart about it.”

“We have tried many things. At least when I was around, Irminsul was not one of them,” she said quietly.

“I have never tried it, either. Never crossed my mind, to be honest. I know that Irminsul is connected with this world in mysterious ways, but I know quite little about it’s specifics. Out of us archons, Buer would probably be the one most knowledgeable about it, seeing as she is the avatar of Irminsul.”

“The avatar of Irminsul?” Ajax asked, surprised.

“Buer is a part of Irminsul in unique ways. It’s said that she herself was born of Irminsul to protect it. She can use and access the stream of information from it. So certainly she’s the one who knows all the different things it can do. I know very little of it, other that it contains a collective memory of seemingly everything.” Morax said, leaning back against the couch.

Ajax sat up properly, so he could look at him better. “So you really never tried it.”

“No, never. I wasn’t aware of Irminsul having such properties, and even when you mentioned it, it didn’t click that it could possibly work for Xiao as well. It’s certainly worth a try. Right now he takes strong remedies, but those also have side effects. Even if he acts like nothing is amiss, they make him tired often. And we don’t know how long those remedies would still work…” Morax shook his head, sighing.

“Can you ask… Buer about it? Maybe she would be able to tell us more.” Guizhong asked, resting her chin in her hand.

“I certainly can. She is a kind goddess, the goddess of wisdom. She would definitely be willing to help. It’d be good to talk this through with her first, if we just go and try it there might be unforeseeable consequences…”

“I just did it,” Ajax shrugged. “But then again, I didn’t really have a choice, it was either that or become an abyss monster permanently. So maybe it is better to discuss it with her first.”

“I agree. Just to make sure that there won’t be any adverse effects. Or maybe she can even confirm that it would work,” the goddess mused. “If it works, it’d surely be amazing. Sad, that we never considered it and would have been able to save the others… But at least Xiao would survive, then.”

“Indeed.” Morax hummed, looking conflicted.

Guizhong smiled. “I noticed that you’re still wearing the things that Menogias designed for you. He would be very happy to know that you still have them.”

“I kept many of them. He was very talented, it would have been a pity for them to go to waste or be destroyed. So I kept them safe in my realm after he passed away.”

Ajax must have looked curious, because Morax smiled at him. “Menogias was one of the five foremost guardian yaksha, like Xiao. He had a hobby of designing and crafting intricate and beautiful clothes. The coat that I usually wear was made by him.”

“Oh, I see. He died from his karmic debt?”

“Yes. He… lost his mind, at around the same time that Bonanus – another of the five foremost yaksha – did too. I don’t know for sure because I was not present, but I heard that they forgot who they were and started fighting, most likely killing each other.” The god explained quietly.

Morax sighed, running a hand over his face with a grim expression.  “Seeing how many yaksha we lost, being able to save Xiao of the same fate would be a monumental achievement. So far, things have just… really aligned for him to even make it to today. He seems to be a little more resilient against the malice of the defeated gods.

That, and the fact that the sound of the Dihua flute calms him. And he was the only one who was so receptive to the remedy. Others took it as well, but there was just a minor change to their state. Sometimes only enough to ever so slightly alleviate their suffering in their last days, while being in a delirious state, withering away….”

“You feel very guilty about it all, don’t you?” Ajax asked softly. He put his hand on the other man’s thigh, gently squeezing. Assuring him. Supporting him.

“I do,” he replied. “I was the one who called them forth. The five guardian yaksha were the five strongest of them all. Each of them blessed with different elemental powers, they made a terrific team.

Xiao was the last of the guardian yaksha that joined, I gave him his position after I freed him from his old master. He already had powers of the air and wind then, even before he received an anemo vision from Barbatos.”

Guizhong smiled softly, reminiscing. “The other guardian yaksha took a liking to him, even if he was stubborn. And they treated him like a younger sibling. Eventually, he too started to treat them like his siblings, even if he always insisted that he wasn’t.”

“So them dying was like losing his family.” Ajax concluded, feeling sad for the short adeptus.

It must have been hard, even harder knowing what killed the other yaksha could kill him anytime as well. Ajax imagined that it must be almost like some kind of psychological torture. Never knowing when it would happen, when your mind was going to be overwhelmed.

And losing control of ones self was scary. It reminded him of when he learnt to use foul legacy, it had been scary too, having this whole other part of his self that looked so different from his real self. He wondered if Xiao ever almost felt like a monster of sorts, too.

Though, maybe not. Maybe this malicious energy wasn’t all that similar to his own abyss taint. Perhaps Xiao felt sure in his identity as an adeptus, a divine illuminated beast. Without a shred of doubt about it, even with this karmic debt accumulating.

While for him, there would always be a bit of insecurity behind his foul legacy. He didn’t think there would ever come a day where he would be completely confident in the fact that he was part of the abyss. He was fine with it, he had accepted it as a part of himself mostly, but he still was hyperaware of how different he was from other people.

How different from almost anyone in this world, because he was sure that there weren’t many others who had fallen into the abyss, encountered Skirk and had been taught how to use foul legacy. Maybe he was the only person apart from her that could use it, even. He had never asked her. Sometimes he wished he had a way to contact her, just so he could speak to her again and ask. But he would never again go down into the abyss, at least not voluntarily.

“I will send a message to Buer today and see what we can do.” Morax said, sounding determined. “She has access to the main Irminsul tree, as far as I know. Maybe we could conduct this experiment together with her.”

“Isn’t Sumeru super far away? No wait, that’s Natlan, isn’t it? Sorry, my geography isn’t the best,” Ajax sighed.

“Sumeru is right next to Liyue, actually. There’s a passage through the chasm or you can glide down to it from the top of the chasm too. Or if you want the scenic route, you can take a ship from Liyue Harbor to Port Ormos. Takes you roughly two days, maybe three if the weather isn’t ideal.” Morax explained, hand coming to rest on Ajax’, sliding his fingers in between his’.

“Oh. Maybe we can visit sometime? I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s quite beautiful. Maybe a day trip or so, when everything with Xiao is sorted. If you want to. If not, that’s fine of course. We don’t have to,” Ajax assured.

“No, no, it’s definitely a good idea. I was actually going to bring it up as a honeymoon suggestion. Though it might be too warm for you, so maybe Inazuma or Mondstadt would be a better option…” The god replied, squeezing his hand.

“I might manage. I’ve gotten a little better with warm weather since I’ve been here for a while. I can just walk around with less warm clothing. Shorter pants and less tight shirts, if it’s appropriate wear for Sumeru.”

There was a spark in Morax’ eyes and he chuckled softly. “Well, I’m sure you’d be a striking sight in sumeran style clothing. Certainly not a sight I’m averse to.”

Ajax huffed, amused. “But it’s only fair if you wear it, too.”

“It’s a contract,” the archon replied with a teasing grin.

Guizhong just sighed and shook her head. “You’re terrible. Both of you.”

“Nobody forces you to sit there and watch us flirt.” Ajax said teasingly.

“At least you’re admitting that you’re flirting,” she groaned.

The redhead winked at her. “Hey. He’s going to be my husband. And I didn’t get to flirt with him before we got together.”

“Oh you did, it just went over both of your heads because you’re both insufferably dense.”

Morax laughed, his hand running up Ajax’ arm, fingers dancing over it. A shiver ran up his arm and down his spine, lighting his nerves alight with affection. Would he ever not react this strongly to him? Would he one day get – at least a tiny bit – used to it all?

He didn’t think so. At least watching Rong and Lian, they didn’t seem to have lost this spark even after the long time they had been together. And they seemed to function very much like him and Morax. Tiny touches, gentle hovering, holding hands and more or less sneaky little kisses. He hoped that thousands of years down the line, their love would still be joyful like that.

The gods hand came to rest at the back of his neck, idly playing with his hair, tickling him a little bit. He held back a laughter and leaned over a little, propping himself up to press a kiss just under the other man’s jaw.

“You two are impossible.”

“Not like you weren’t obvious about your crush, either,” Morax huffed. “And you never heard me tease you about it much.”

“I- My- What?” She squeaked.

“Half of the adepti were betting on the two of you. I kept out of it, though. Even if Mountain Shaper tried to rope me into it several times.”

Guizhong’s face had turned bright red at this point, and she moved to hide it into her sleeves. “I don’t know what or who you’re talking about,” came muffled from beneath the fabric.

Morax tutted softly. “I’m quite sure that you do know what I am talking about.

“You’re just trying to rile me up in revenge because I was teasing you two!”

“Hmmm, no,” the brunette said firmly. “Come on. Considering even I knew about it – and I am dense in these things and was even worse back then – it means you were very obviously in love. Don’t you want to try and get that piece of happiness back?”

“Morax, it’s been thousands of years!”

“And?”

“And you know everything that happened in between. How can I just- Hello, I’m back, want to go on a date?” She threw her hands up exasperatedly, shaking her head.

“Why not?” Morax asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

“She’s married!” She exclaimed.

“Widowed.” The god corrected.

Guizhong lightly slapped her hand onto the table, trying to make a point. “She has children!”

“One, and he’s an adult.”

“She has grandchildren!”

Morax huffed, clearly thinking she was being ridiculous. “One, and she’s an adult too.”

“She never felt the same!”

“Wow, that’s a point you’re considering very late. Are you sure that’s true? Because you went through everything else first.” Morax said, eyebrow rising higher.

Guizhong grabbed the pillow next to her, ready to stand up. “I’ll suffocate you with the couch pillow, you overgrown lizard.”

“You know, you did say you’re almost like siblings. I definitely see it now. There wasn’t a week where Alexei wouldn’t try to suffocate me with a couch pillow,” Ajax chuckled.

Morax laughed. “Come on, what’s the harm in giving it a try? You were very clo-“ he made a choked noise as the pillow was thrown into his face with full force of a small, angry goddess.

“You’re one to talk! Give it a try? How did that go with Ajax? Oh no I don’t want to ruin what we have, I can’t bear to lose him, if he knows about my feelings he will leave me behind, he won’t want to talk to me again!” She aped, her hands at the sides of her head mimicking the gods horns. “I’m not taking love advice from you out of all people.”

“Learn from my mistakes?” Morax asked, gently tossing the pillow back onto the couch next to Guizhong. Only for it to very promptly and forcefully be sent back flying into his face.

Chapter Text

When Guizhong left, they decided to cuddle on the couch for a while. They laid down onto their sides, facing each other. Morax pulled one of the soft blankets from the back of the couch and unfolded it, draping it over and around them. The gods back was against the back of the couch and he stretched his left arm out, putting a pillow under his own head and over his arm. Then he motioned Ajax to lay his head onto the second pillow, before he draped his other arm over him.

The ginger smiled, scooting a little closer still, their legs slotting together. Warm and comfortable. With the fire in the fireplace softly crackling in the background and the warmth slowly distributing in the room.

“Can I ask you something? It’s been on my mind for a little while.” He said, brushing his fingers through the brunettes bangs.

“Of course, anything.”

“About those proposal chopsticks. You said you thought we had been dating for a while.”

Morax turned a little red. He let out the slightest groan and nodded. “I did. What about it?”

“We never touched until recently. We never kissed or anything. You thought we were dating and you were just fine with that?”

“Ah. Well… I guess I just… always came up with new reasons why things were like that? One explanation I gave myself was, that maybe you’re not the affectionate type. That maybe you prefer not to be touchy with someone, even if it’s your partner. Or that maybe, you were just as shy as myself about it.

Then I thought maybe it’s obvious how inexperienced I am and that either you don’t want to pressure me or… you know, find it a bit embarrassing and don’t really feel like, ahm. You know. Being the one who has to suffer if I’m a terrible kisser due to it or has to teach me how to do it.”

“And that’s why you never tried to initiate anything either?”

“Well I didn’t want to force myself onto you. The few times we brushed against each other, you did seem a little uncomfortable. And you know who I am, so I was worried that you’d feel forced to go along with me. That if I tried to kiss you, you’d endure it either for my sake or because you don’t dare to tell me – out of all people – no.”

“I wasn’t uncomfortable, I could feel my heartbeat up in my throat,” Ajax admitted with  chuckle. He let his fingers dance over the god’s forehead, down his temple and over the tiny scales on his cheekbone.

Slowly, he moved forwards, pressing his lips against Morax’. He could hear the other man sigh contently, moving against him. As always, it filled him with warmth and love. Heart beating faster, still giddy that this man was his boyfriend. Not just his boyfriend, his mind corrected. His fiancé. Soon to be his husband.

He smiled, trailing kisses down the corner of Morax’ mouth, down to his jaw and along it as far as he could reach. “You know, I wouldn’t have at all minded. I would have combusted on the spot if you would have just kissed me. But I wouldn’t have minded at all.”

“I’m sorry that I thought so wrong about you,” the other man murmured.

“Don’t be. I know it was just you overthinking. You totally expected me to be some kind of playboy, huh?” He said teasingly.

“No. I just thought you probably had relationships prior to us meeting. I kind of didn’t consider that you never let anyone get close enough for that. Or that you might have just never met someone that made you fall for them. I thought because I see you the way I do, of course people would fall over themselves to be with you.”

“Ha, the only one who ever wanted me, is you. But when I can have you, why would I be wanted by anyone else? Honestly, I’m kind of glad I was never in love before you. It makes it all the more special. And I think… I think I’m in a better place now, mentally speaking. I don’t think I would have been a good boyfriend to anyone a few years ago. Not even to you, if we would have met sooner.”

“I see it similarly with myself. I don’t think I would have been a good partner to anyone at other points in my life. I mean, I’m still sometimes wondering if I even am. If you get what you want and need. If you need space for yourself, you’ll tell me, right? Because I don’t want you to get annoyed by being around you too much.”

“My love,” the redhead murmured gently. His thumb brushed over his cheek, those beautiful golden eyes looking at him full of affection. “I have the most amazing partner, who loves spending time around me, even if it’s just sitting around and drinking tea, or cooking, or sitting together each of us reading a book. Who never hesitates to show me how much he loves me and how important I am to him.

A man who gives me the world without me even asking. Someone who treats me like I’m a precious jewel, the greatest treasure, without making me feel like I am being seen as weak. Who accepts me the way I am, with all my trauma and my shortcomings. Who wants to know everything about me, when I spent over a decade not telling anyone anything.

Who gives me exactly what I need, even when I never knew what it was. But now I’m starting to understand. What I need and want. And that is you. That’s the way we love, this closeness that we share. The mutual trust and the understanding we have.

I… When… when you get out of the abyss, it doesn’t leave you, you know? You’ll always have it with you, calling for you in the back of your mind. And every so often, the call would get too much. That’s when I went out and tore through treasure hunter camps or looked for ruin hunters. Because only fighting would make the voices calm down again.

And when we met, I noticed that around you, it was either just a whisper or sometimes even blissfully quiet. I finally felt somewhat normal again. I was… so scared of showing you my foul legacy. I didn’t want you to see me as an abyss monster. I didn’t want you to see me as an ugly beast. But then you weren’t bothered. And you have no idea how relieved I felt.”

“I do,” Morax said quickly, voice heavy. “Because I felt the same when you saw the real me. I was terrified anytime you saw a new thing, but for you it wasn’t scary.”

“You could have killed me during our sparring session, I would have died a happy man because I got to see the real you. Your real beauty,” Ajax murmured, hand moving upwards to brush along one of the cor lapis colored horns. “A sight I thought I’d never be permitted to see. And now I get to see you like this, every day.”

The ginger leaned over, brushing his lips against the god’s. “I fell in love with Zhongli, but the man I love is Morax. With every new side the real you that you let me see, I fell in love with you even more.  So please believe me, I am happier than I thought I would ever be. You can’t imagine how much my cheeks hurt from all the talking, smiling, laughing. I have never in my life felt so warm and so at home than I do with you. You are my home. And I will never let go of you, you hear me?”

Ajax gasped softly when Morax surged forward, kissing him, tugging him closer until their bodies were flush against each other. His hand moved to his chest, feeling the brunettes erratic heartbeat under his fingers. Not that his own was any slower.

Morax’ fingers held onto the fabric of his shirt in the back, then opened to run along his spine. They briefly parted for air, only for the god to immediately pull him into another kiss. Ajax hummed softly, pleased. His partner seemed to have understood his message.

“I love you. You are everything to me,” the god murmured between two more kisses. “My heart, my life… It all belongs to you.”

“And mine belong to you,” Ajax replied, pressing another tender kiss onto his lips. “I can’t wait to marry you. Calling you my husband.”

“You sound so proud when you say that,” Morax said with a fond smile.

“Yeah. Because I am. Asking you to marry me was the easiest choice I’ve ever made. Not that I haven’t thought it properly through, I promise I have. In proper snezhnayan manner. I spent months thinking about it, yearning for it. So now that I know that you love me… And have seen firsthand just how amazing of a partner you are, it was easy.

That you told me that you technically proposed to me – which made known that you do want to marry me – just sealed the deal. I was just thinking about how and where to ask you. I wanted to plan something special for you.”

“it was special for me either way. Because it’s you. I’m not sure I would have dared to ask again, because I was worried that you would feel like you’d have to say yes because I’ll only ever love you. But I hope you know that being married isn’t a must for me, right?”

“I know. I asked because I truly want to marry you. Your parents… I want, what they have. To look back in thousands of years to the early days of our love. And to still be in love with each other just as much, but different at the same time. Stronger, because we’ve been together all this time and know each other like the back of our own hand. But still as in love as we were now. When I look at them, that’s what I see.”

“That’s what we will have,” Morax murmured, a soft purr rumbling from his throat.

Ajax grinned slightly. “What, no retort about me possibly not being in love with you anymore in a thousand years?”

“I have to stop worrying about this at some point. Yes, it’s a possibility. But you were right when you said that you’re partially an abyss monster. And who’s to say they don’t love like dragons do? The goddess of love herself said that your love for me is out of the ordinary. And who, if not you, would love more than any human ever has? So yes, I’m trying to think about that less. Trying to overthink a little less about our relationship in general. I still worry sometimes, but I try.”

The ginger kissed him again, he couldn’t help feeling a little relieved. He knew that it wasn’t personal, it was just one of Morax’ fears. But it was good to know that he was trying to worry less about it. Then, an idea lit up in the back of his mind.

He gently pulled the gods arm so that he’d move it. Morax looked at him questioningly, but complied, taking it off Ajax’ side and placed it onto his own. The ginger took his hand and linked their pinky fingers together.

“I promise you, I will always love you. Always and forever, until my last breath. I will love you the way you love me. With my whole heart and soul. I promise you that, Morax,” he said softly, reverently. Because he loved this man so much.

“You said it yourself, a promise is a one-sided contract. And in Snezhnaya, we say: You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice. The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off so you never lie again.”

Morax looked at him wide-eyed, swallowing hard. Then looked down at their linked pinkies and back up into Ajax’s eyes. “Do you understand what you just did?” He whispered.

“I do. And just like asking you to marry me, it was easy. As everything is with you. Because with you, I feel sure of everything. I know what I want, and that I want it forever. I know that this is a promise I will be able to uphold. That it won’t be difficult to. Because every single day, I fall in love with you anew. I will never, ever see the wrath of the rock turned against myself.”

He bent over and pressed a kiss onto the knuckles of Morax’ hand, right next to his pinky. It was nothing but the truth. With him, it all felt easy. Like everything happened for this exact reason. Maybe he had to become an abyss monster, so that he would be able to match Morax’ lifespan.

Maybe that made sense. A thread of fate connecting them, like in the stories. Some higher power pulling the strings just right so that they could one day meet and love each other. Give each other what they need.

When he looked back up at his beloved, he could see that he had teared up. He blinked, and a tear rolled down his cheek, followed by a few more. “Morax…” he whispered, worried.

The god gently pushed him onto his back, wordlessly lying half on top of him, hiding his face against his neck. Ajax wrapped his arms around him tightly, kissing and caressing his hair. Comforting him with whispered words, while he cried ever so softly.

After a while, he could hear him sniffling. “Ah… ‘m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Don’t apologize for something like this,” the ginger assured.

“I was just… completely overwhelmed. Yeah. Utterly overwhelmed. And didn’t… really know how to deal with the way I was feeling, I guess. I’ve been so used to suppress my own emotions for a long time. Keep them in, keep them down. And with you, they just… they’re out and hitting me full force. With a force I sometimes don’t expect.”

He gently let his fingers run through the other’s hair, feeling him shiver at his touch. “I understand. I suppressed mine for a long time, too. And you were the one who brought them back up. Who melted the ice that I had carefully put around my heart.”

“I don’t know what to say about what you just did, Ajax,” he said, sounding small. “I have no words.”

“Tell me that I’m ridiculous and that I shouldn’t be making such promises?” The ginger asked, grinning. “But I promise you, I’m completely serious about it. I will keep it. I never break a promise. And I won’t be starting with that one.”

“What did I do to get you?” Morax whispered. “I will never know. I don’t think any other human would ever be making such promises. Much less to the god of contracts himself.”

“I told you, I’m not a smart man.” He replied, just on the edge of teasing.

Morax huffed, half a laughter. Win. He made him laugh, even if just a little bit. “You’re actually very smart, you just like to act like you’re not sometimes.”

“You’re way smarter than me.”

“That’s not smarts, just living long and having good memory. Or what about the way the last eight months went says ‘this is a smart man’?”

This time, Ajax laughed. “Okay, maybe we’re both a little stupid. Especially when it comes to each other.”

“Mh, I sure feel like I’m missing half of my brain function when I’m around you.”

“Hey!”

The god laughed, pressing a kiss against the side of his neck. “Because you occupy my thoughts that much. Because around you feels like comfortable mornings in bed. Warm and cozy. When I’m not fully awake yet.”

“Lizard-brain time you mean?” Ajax asked teasingly.

“Yes.” And as if to make a point, he lightly bit the side of the gingers neck. Just enough to be felt, just enough for his fangs to make slight indentations into the skin that would vanish in just a few minutes. Just enough for the forked tongue to brush against the skin, making the younger man laugh.

“That tickles!”

“Hm, lizard doesn’t understand what that means,” Morax muttered softly, biting again at a lower point, closer towards the junction between neck and shoulder. More giggling from Ajax.

“Morax!” He exclaimed, voice sounding a little higher pitched between his giggles.

“Hm yes, this is the lizards name, lizard thinks,” he said, biting at the junction. Huffing softly when he discovered that the shirt collar didn’t have enough give to be moved to the side a bit more.

“You’re impossible,” Ajax said fondly.

“As are you.”

“We’re quite the pair, huh?”

Morax looked up at his beloved, who immediately reached out and brushed the tear tracks off his cheeks. “We are. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. You make me happier than anything in my life ever has. The light of my life. I love being with you. Being silly with you. Being serious with you. Being in love with you.”

“So do I,” Ajax said with a smile.

“I cannot wait to continue planning our wedding. I can’t wait to call you my husband. I can’t wait to call you mine for the rest of our lives.”

“That’s exactly what’ll happen. And we have so much wedding planning ahead of us. But we’ll take our time, right? Properly enjoy it. Have fun with it. Make it something uniquely ours, celebrating our love.”

“Oh yes. We’re not in a hurry. We’ll take our time and savor it. Make the most of it, so we’ll have a lot of beautiful memories to look back to.”

“And I’m sure our families will also be happy to help, considering how they reacted to the news,” Ajax hummed.

“Absolutely, they were almost as excited as the two of us.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Chapter Text

Guizhong had decided to go back to her room after Morax had been teasing her. She knew that it came from a place of love, he wasn’t being mean. But it still stung. Yes, she was alive and back as a conscious person.

But time didn’t stop in all those thousands of years since her almost-death. She was very aware of that, even just with how much Morax changed. In some ways, he was a completely different person from the man she used to know in Guili. He already had been intelligent and surprisingly soft-spoken for his reputation. But he had still been prone to anger and quite narrow-minded, especially when it came to right and wrong.

Morax knew that the killing was wrong, and even today he saw himself as a terrible person for it. It was a little odd, maybe, that looking at himself his world seemed to be black and white. He had killed, therefore done wrong. Judging himself, there were no grey areas. Almost as if all the good he’d done in his life would never amount to anything, as long as the stain of the archon war tainted him.

But when it came to other people, he looked at it very differently. Other people were allowed to be in a grey area. Contracts? Yes, they were black and white. You either honored the contract or you broke it. But otherwise in life, he usually didn’t judge people for their mistakes.

He held himself to a higher standard than anyone else. Much to his detriment, because it put colossal pressure on him to be perfect and not let anyone of his people see any less than that. Also, because he believed that his people wanted, needed, him to be like that.

Completely without fault, strong and solid as stone, everlasting and untouchable. But he sometimes seemed to forget that stone wasn’t really like that. It still was susceptible to the influences of the surroundings. Shaped by weather and water, or sometimes even by humanity. Humans didn’t want stone to be untouchable. They picked them up and had dozens of uses for them.

She didn’t really believe that they wanted their archon to be untouchable, either. They already saw him as their powerful protector, their wise guide. But reading so many books, she always got the impression that – after the abandonment of the original Tianheng Palace – humans were sad that their archon was no longer close to them.

If anything, their words almost felt like regret and worry. Had they driven him away? Made him leave and seek out peace, quiet and solitude? Guizhong wondered if Morax had never really read these books. Or possibly hadn’t read between the lines, which wouldn’t surprise her.

Other than him, who felt like the people of Liyue probably appreciated no longer having their archon around, she felt the opposite. The few times that she’d strolled around the shops and wharf so far, she’d gotten the feeling that the people were sad about it. Not because they were scared without their archon’s protection. But rather because they genuinely liked him.

For her, it seemed like they would be happy to know that their archon actually lives among them, interacting with them on a regular basis. Enjoying their food, their music, their plays and their festivals. Finding happiness among them, being treated as an equal.

In one of the books, she read the liyuen author touched on the subject of Mondstadt and its archon, Barbatos. As the god of freedom, he decided he didn’t want to rule his people and it is said that he left Mondstadt. But some people believe that he lives amongst them, hiding his true identity and enjoying his life in the midst of his people. The liyuen author of the book seemed to very much like that, even wondering what it would be like if Rex Lapis lived amongst them as well.

But Morax was a stubborn man. It would often take him a long time to change his views or be convinced of something. Ajax would hopefully be a good influence for him, considering he seemed to be a little more flexible in such regards.

Maybe Morax would come around and decide to let his people know that he was still around. Maybe he would grant them the happiness of knowing that their god trusted them to keep making the right decisions for their nation and the communal good. Of knowing that their god loved the things they invented and crafted. That they would understand just how proud he was of them, like a father watching his children grow up and succeed.

Just how she was, when she still led the Guili Assembly, all that time ago. Today, barely anyone still remembered her. She had been surprised when Hu Tao had known who she was, until the girl mentioned her ancestor had been one of the people the goddess looked after.

Only then, Guizhong made the connection to that man. He had taken it upon himself to forge a contract with her and Morax, and with it the duty of a funeral director. The other people had become wary of him for working with the deceased, but he had done his work with pride.

Eventually he had taken a wife and had children. One of his sons would grow up to succeed his father, when he became too old. So, Hu Tao was the current heir, all the way through thousands of years, the bloodline of the first funeral director had persisted.

Even if Morax acted annoyed with the upbeat girl, she knew it wasn’t how he really felt. It was clear he was actually very fond of her. Especially since she seemed to be so easygoing, not caring who the man who called himself Zhongli really was. Well, she was curious. But she didn’t make the impression that she would change her behavior at all, even if she’d find out she had employed the geo archon.

Time had passed without mercy, without pity of her. And Morax’ words had reminded her of the harsh reality, even if he didn’t seem to think that there was a problem.

Yes, she loved her.

And she never had the heart to confess, too scared to ruin their precious friendship. Much like Morax. Which is why she had wanted him to confess, she knew the pain of never knowing if anything would have come from it. And then she had lost her physical form and knew she would probably never know.

Gaining enough strength to form a consciousness and physical form was a matter of millennia. She had been quick this time around, she had existed for eons as a dust sprite before she created her first corporeal form.

If Ping had loved her back then, it didn’t matter today. Because she had gotten over her death, fallen in love with someone else and had a family. Guizhong wasn’t angry at her, of course. Quite contrary, she was happy for her. And from what Morax had told her, Ping had aged her appearance in accordance with her husband’s aging progress. Since his death, she frequented the harbor looking like an old woman.

She clearly missed him dearly, if she kept this appearance. Maybe Ping had never felt the same for her. Maybe knowing that Guizhong harbored such feelings for her, would have only brought her pain. They had been like soulmates, two pieces of a puzzle completing one another. But that didn’t have to be something romantic. Sometimes it was just an amazingly close friend.

Guizhong was also mildly scared of going and looking for her. What should she tell her? Did they even have anything to talk about with each other? Or had time changed Ping so much, that things wouldn’t even remotely be the same as they were back then?

Maybe she would just be polite, entertain her for a little bit. Before Guizhong got the hint that she’d rather be left alone with her grief, than speak to someone who she hadn’t seen in thousands of years. Who she maybe hadn’t even thought of for almost that long.

Perhaps it was better to just… let her be. She couldn’t come back like this and expect everyone to still care about her. Morax did, and she was thankful for it. Xiao had hugged her like his life depended on it, and it had made her very happy to see her little bird alive and relatively well.

Maybe all she was for Ping, was a distant memory. If she even still remembered her. Guizhong couldn’t even be upset at the thought that she might have forgotten about her. Of course, there had been so many more important memories in her life, especially of her husband and family. Who was she, compared to that? An old friend that had died, in a time where gods died left and right.

She groaned. She would have to take her mind off this.

Guizhong got up, reached for a warmer robe and wrapped it around her, putting on some simple shoes. She left her room, past the living room where the two lovebirds still laid on the couch, softly chatting.

“I’m going to the harbor, I’ll be back in a bit,” she called in passing, leaving the palace and the realm through Morax’ harbor apartment.

She wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do now. She had just felt restless and wanted to move around. As she walked down the stairs, she noticed that it was raining ever so softly. Guizhong tilted her head upwards, letting the tiny droplets hit her face. It felt refreshing, calming her mind.

How long had it been since she had felt the rain like this? Millennia. It had rained the evening before she lost her corporeal form. The goddess took a deep breath. It still smelled the same. Rain falling down onto dust, stone and earth. Back then, now, it wasn’t any different.

She wasn’t any different either. The few people she still knew were, but she hadn’t changed. She hadn’t really lived, after all. Being a dust sprite was vastly different. She was tiny and bouncy, similar to a seelie, but not visible for people with how small she was.

Luckily, she had retained her memories and a little of her consciousness. Making her just a little bit more conscious than other dust sprites. Enabling her to exist with a set goal in her otherwise simple mind. Gather strength. See them again. Be happy again.

Guizhong opened her eyes and silently watched the people around her. Even in this weather, Liyue Harbor was bustling with activity. Some people had opened umbrellas, others wore hats or just hurried.

She decided to just take a walk. Just wherever her feet would take her. There wasn’t much that could happen here, and she knew Zhongli would be here with a call of his name if anything did happen. So, she walked along the shops at a leisurely pace, not caring about getting wet. Gods didn’t really get sick anyways.

So she walked through the arch and stepped down to the walkway between the lotus ponds. The flowers were beautiful and delicate, enhanced by the mountains towering around them. To the right, a broad staircase led up to the pharmacy. To the left, there was a slimmer staircase, which she wasn’t sure where it led. She had only been to the harbor a few times so far, after all. She still had many blind spots.

As she started walking up the left stairs, the rain intensified. She hurried up a little, going up the second flight of stairs a little faster. Suddenly, she felt herself slip. She really hoped there wasn’t anyone right behind her –

“Careful, they get a bit slippery when it’s raining like that,” a female voice said next to her and she could feel a steadying hand on her shoulder. Guizhong looked over and saw a young woman with pink hair and green eyes, wearing a peculiar red hat.

“Ah, thank you. I haven’t been here often and it wasn’t raining that badly when I started going up…”

“Mhm, it’s really pouring down. Come on, up you go, just two more steps and we’re done,” the woman said, smiling.

They took the last two steps and moved a little to the side, out of the way of the other people. “Oh, you scraped your knee! My grandmother is just over there, she definitely has an ointment for that!”

“It’s nothing,  can fix that once I get home… It’s raining, so there isn’t much I can do right now…” Guizhong sighed. If it wasn’t, she could have just gathered some dust and healed a small wound like that herself.

“We don’t want it to get infected. She’s right over there. I promise, she’s nice. You’re not scared of adepti, are you?” The girl asked, and only now Guizhong noticed the two downward pointing antlers on the sides of her head. She started walking, motioning Guizhong to follow her.

Guizhong laughed softly. “No, I’m definitely not scared of adepti. I’ve been friends with many of them.”

“Oh? Ah, where are my manners? I’m Yanfei. If you ever need help with anything pertaining to liyuen Law, come find me. I’m a legal advisor.”

Hm. The name rang a bell, but she wasn’t sure why exactly. Well, most likely she was someone that Morax had mentioned. But she couldn’t quite remember in which context. She could see a small table with a teapot and a few cups on it just a little bit ahead of them, an old lady standing there and observing the glaze lilies in the grass behind the table.

“Grandma!”

The woman turned around and her eyes widened behind her glasses, then she shook her head as if to chase her thoughts away. “Yanfei, are you already done with work for the day?”

“Mhm, I decided to stop early today. There’ll be some clients early tomorrow that will need some contracts drawn up, so I decided to rest a bit today.” Yanfei explained.

“Made a new friend?” The woman asked, looking over at Guizhong.

“Ah, yes. That’s – I don’t even know your name. She slipped on the stairs and scraped her knee, I wanted to ask if you have an ointment.”  The pink haired girl explained, looking a bit embarrassed.

“Guizhong,” she said, smiling at the two of them. “My name is Guizhong.”

“Guizhong? That’s- that’s… Your parents made quite the uncommon choice,” the old lady said, furrowing her brows.

Guizhong blinked, taken aback. “Does… does it mean something bad now? I gave myself this name a long time ago.”

“Wait, you said you’ve been friends with adepti. And you gave yourself that name? Don’t tell me you’re the goddess of dust?” Yanfei asked, eyes wide.

Her grandmother lightly nudged her, reprimanding. “Yanfei, that’s nonsense. She died in the archon war.” She opened a little compartment on her bag, taking out a small jar.

“Oh, you’ve heard about me then? I didn’t really die… I returned to my original form as a dust sprite. I spent the time since then collecting enough power to craft a proper body for myself again. Which I’ve been able to do recently, so now I’m staying with a friend here in the harbor.”

The old woman stared her in disbelief, then caught herself and handed the jar over. “Dab… a little of that onto the scrapes. It should heal up within the hour…”

“Thank you very much.” Guizhong bowed her head politely, took the jar and put some of the fragrant ointment onto the scrapes on her knee. Immediately, she felt the burning sensation ebbing away. Quickly, she screwed the lid back on and handed it over again.

She couldn’t help but wonder why they reacted like that. And the girls name still rang a distant bell, but she really couldn’t remember who told her about her. Huh, when had the rain stopped? She’d been so distracted, she hadn’t noticed.

“Ah, my friend mentioned your name, Yanfei. But I really can’t remember why.” She sighed.

“Your friend?”

“Zhongli, from the funeral parlor.”

“Hm, maybe he spoke about my work?” She asked, looking thoughtful.

Guizhong shook her head. No, that wasn’t it. What had he said about a girl named Yanfei…

Then it hit her, like a lightning strike.

Yanfei.

Ping’s granddaughter.

So that woman was – no, right? She could have another grandmother, that didn’t have to be Ping. But Morax had said that Ping was living as an old woman now. So, it could be her. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no.

“You look as if you just remembered what he said,” the old woman – Ping? – said.

But Ping would have recognized her. Well, she did say she knew about her, about her death. Maybe she hadn’t believed her eyes. Maybe she had thought that she was just someone looking alike.

“You’re Ping’s granddaughter,” Guizhong said softly. “That’s what he told me.”

“Oh,” Yanfei laughed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t recognize you. He told me that you look different now, but I didn’t put the pieces together…” Guizhong said, ducking her head a little.

She felt stupid and nervous. She didn’t even have a reason to be. Yes, in a way this was the woman that she was in love with. But at the same time, she also was an entirely different person. It wasn’t like Ping was going to want to spend time with her. She’d built a whole life without her, a life where she didn’t really have a place. Even if they had been best friends a long time ago.

“It’s my fault too, I should have thought about things a little more, too. Grandma told me about you, after all.”

“She did?” Guizhong asked, surprised. Ping had mentioned her to her granddaughter, who had been born at least a few decades after her death, if not millennia afterwards?

Ping huffed slightly. “What do you think of me, that you do not believe that I’d mention you to my family?”

“I just thought… I’ve been gone for a long time. There’s nothing I can do about it. Time went by, with no regard for me.” The goddess said, brushing her bangs out of the way.

“And you thought I just forgot about you?”

“No… It just surprised me that I was important enough to mention to your family, considering how long I’ve been gone. What little impact I made on the world around me in the time I was around.”

“Little? I think you vastly underestimate how big your impact was on the lives of everyone around you. Without you, Rex Lapis wouldn’t have won the archon war the way he did. Your inventions were used to defend the people for a long time still. Just recently, your ballistae were repaired and used to defend Liyue Harbor from a reawakened Osial. But I understand if I saw our friendship as a closer one than you. I guess I was young and foolish.”

“That’s not true! Of course, we were close friends. I just didn’t think that after all this time, you would tell them about me. I guess I just felt like after so long, everyone had moved on,” she explained. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I understand. But people often do not just move on when someone close to their heart dies.”

“I know, I just… I figured you must have been very busy with your family. That there would have been many things much more important than telling them about me.”

“Hey, I’ll leave you two to it. I promised Hu Tao and Yun Jin that I would grab lunch with them. See you around, Guizhong!” Yanfei said, already hurrying away.

“And off she goes,” Ping said, tutting softly. “Well, of course I was busy, but not telling them wasn’t an option. Of course I told them all about you. About how smart you were, and how you loved having fun. How it was hard to put you in a bad mood, but for a while I sure did do everything I could to annoy you. How we eventually became friends.”

Guizhong smiled. “Thank you. I… I was actually scared of seeing you again. I feel stupid now.”

“Don’t. If I knew, I would have been scared too. I immediately recognized you, but I was sure that it couldn’t be you. How could it be you? But it is you. If anyone was smart enough to cheat death, of course it would be you.”

“It took me way too long to gather my strength. It’s… a bit difficult. Everyone kept living their lives. Everyone is different now. I’m back, and I’m still the same old me. Nothing changed about me, it’s all the same as it was then.” The goddess said, sighing softly.

Somehow, she wishes she wasn’t. That her feelings for Ping would have gone away. Even now, seeing her like this, just the gaze of her purple eyes made her nervous. It was stupid. She would never again see the Ping that she knew back then, she was living like this now.

“It must be frustrating. Though sometimes, I think, it can look more like people kept going than they actually have,” Ping said, thoughtful expression on her face.

“That’s from the one who’s changed the most out of us. Though, Zhongli changed a lot as well.”

“I didn’t change all that much. I’ve calmed a little, which he has as well. I’ve changed my appearance, which he has as well.”

“You had a whole family in between. I’m happy for you, I’m sure you’re proud,” Guizhong said.

“It’s certainly nice, even if it wasn’t the life I had dreamed of. But my husband was a good man, and I loved him, even if never as much as I loved someone else. He was aware of that and wasn’t bothered by it. He treated me well. Aging was hard on him, so I decided to age alongside him. And then it just… stuck. Seeing as I’d lost so many, it made me feel like an old woman. So I stayed looking like this, even long after he’d passed away.”

“I’m sorry,” the goddess said quietly.

Ping shook her head. “Don’t be. There are no words to express how happy I am to see you again. To see that after everything, you’re alive. Do you have to be somewhere? I have my teapot here, we could head inside, warm ourselves up and catch up with some tea?”

“I don’t, I told Zhongli I’d be in the harbor for a while. That sounds lovely, I would love that.”

“One condition though,” the other woman said, hint of a smile curling on her lips. “We will be honest with one another, yes? I don’t want any misunderstandings. We’ve lost too much time, I would hate for things to be left unspoken.”

Guizhong swallowed, heart beating up into her neck. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to be that honest. But maybe, her feelings for her wouldn’t come up. And that wasn’t being dishonest. She nodded quickly, then felt the familiar pull of the Serenitea pot.

Chapter Text

Guizhong opened her eyes, seeing that the weather inside Ping’s teapot apparently mirrored the weather in the harbor as well.

They walked over to the house in the middle of the field, going up a few stone steps. She reached out to help Ping, steadying her with her own arm, receiving a raised eyebrow as reaction.

“I only look old, my body isn’t actually this old,” she said, huffing softly.

Guizhong immediately pulled her hand back, mentally slapping herself. Of course. She knew that. Yet she’d still acted like that. “I’m sorry. I know. I don’t know why I did that.”

“It’s fine.”

She felt a little awkward, following Ping inside, then along a hallway to a room that turned out to be a bedroom. The room looked cozy, lit by lanterns, shelves filled with little knick-knacks. Decorative items and mementos. She was surprised to spot a small soapstone figurine, carved into the shape of a glaze lily. It wasn’t very good, uneven and in need of much improvement still.

Before she had lost her corporeal form, she had only recently learnt how to carve soapstone from Morax, and was working on improving. She made many of them, hoping to perfect them and then gift one to Ping. Maybe by then, she’d have the courage to confess. But she wanted it to be absolutely perfect before she’d dare to do that. She ended up never becoming good enough before she was gone again.

Briefly, she wondered if it was one of hers. No, it couldn’t be. Where would Ping have gotten that from? It was likely that her husband or her child made it for her. Or maybe Yanfei. It definitely wasn’t one of her unsuccessful attempts.

“Guizhong?” Ping looked at her, a robe in her hand, outstretched towards her.

“Ah, sorry. I was just looking at this glaze lily. It’s funny, before I lost my physical form, I was practicing making these. Did your husband make that? Your child? Yanfei?” She took the robe from her, feeling the soft silk. “Thank you.”

There was an unreadable expression on Ping’s face. The goddess found it much harder to read her like this than what she used to look like. Somehow she kept feeling like she did everything wrong, said all the wrong things. Even when just minutes before, she had acted as if she really was happy to see Guizhong.

Maybe this really was a mistake. What if Ping just felt obligated to spend time with her, after what she said about feeling like she didn’t really belong anymore? Or maybe she wasn’t really comfortable letting her in here anymore, after it had probably been her family’s home? Back in the archon war, they used to spend time here, but that didn’t mean anything.

Nothing from back then still meant anything, because everyone else had a whole life between then and now. Only she was still clinging onto what once was, millennia ago. She had to learn to let these things go.

Especially her love for Ping. She was no longer that same person. And she had sworn her loyalty to someone and had his child. Why couldn’t Guizhong move on, when it all was just further proof that Ping had never been in love with her? And even if she had been, she would be long over these feelings. Because Ping could move on, other than Guizhong.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. Look, if you’d prefer not to have me here, I understand. I’m sure it must bring back sad memories, and it must be strange having me in here when you’re used to having your family here.”

“You’re making an awful lot of assumptions, I don’t remember you being like that,” Ping said.

Still with that unreadable expression. Even her voice was difficult, the goddess tried to gauge her mood but found it to be close to impossible. Guizhong looked down at her hands, to the robe that Ping had handed her. She remembered it as if it was yesterday.

Pastel blue, white billowing clouds, delicate silver thread, inside of the sleeves a darker blue. She had borrowed it once and told Ping how beautiful she found it. She wondered if the other woman remembered that or if she had just handed her what she thought of as an old spare.

What if Ping had brought her here to ask her about her feelings? Maybe she had found out one way or another. And then decided to bring her here, so she could finally be honest and tell her that Guizhong was ridiculous. Maybe that was what she had meant when she talked about being honest.

That actually made sense. Guizhong had written diaries during her time in the Guili Assembly. And she was pretty sure that her feelings for Ping were featured on several pages. If she had known what was about to happen, she would have destroyed them. Turned them to dust along with herself.

“You shouldn’t stand around in those wet clothes much longer. I will turn around, so you can dress yourself.”

Of course, she was dripping on the floor. Could she do anything right? Guizhong hurried up, not wanting to make matters worse. “I’m done,” she said quietly, holding her dripping garments, trying not to drip even more. She turned around, giving Ping privacy to change.

Awkwardly, she squatted down and tried to wipe up the water with what little was still dry of her clothes. When she got back up, Ping was standing directly next to her, startling her.

“Are you alright? You are behaving strangely.”

“I… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked about these things. I can understand that you don’t want to speak about your family, it’s none of my business who made this figurine or anything else related to them… I was just… I don’t know. I talked without thinking. I will do better.”

“Come, let us make some tea and then settle down, so we can talk. I will hang this up to dry in the meantime.” Ping said, reaching for Guizhong’s drenched robe.

Just a few minutes later, they sat on two comfortable couches that faced each other with a coffee table in between. Each of them with soft blankets draped over their legs and a cup of hot tea in their hands. It smelled sweet and herbal, reminding her of the calming tea that Morax sometimes liked to make in the evening, claiming it would help them sleep better.

Guizhong felt nervous, and she didn’t even understand why. She didn’t understand why she was acting like this, when Ping had been nice to her and invited her. But it was hard to read her the way she looked now. Something about the features of her face that hid her mood better than her younger appearance.

“Does it bother you?” Ping asked, looking at her.

“What?”

“That I got married.”

Guizhong felt her heart sink. Is that the impression that she made? Did Ping think she was jealous of her? “Why would it? I’m happy for you, genuinely. I think it’s lovely that you got to have that. I was just curious, that’s why I was asking these things. I didn’t mean to come across as if I… As if I’m begrudging you?

I guess it’s just a little bit difficult for me. Not your marriage, or anything! Just, as I said, you’ve had a whole life and are different now. I’m the same I was then. So it’s… kind of difficult. I’m worried that things won’t be the same between us. That you’ll think of me badly because I still am the same.”

Ping huffed softly and put her cup down, then watched her hand resting on the cup for a moment. “I think it’s time to let go of this…” She mumbled to herself, and with that, light blue particles were floating off of her, revealing her true self.

Guizhong’s heart skipped a beat, seeing her like that. The woman she had loved. Still loved. “You-You didn’t have to. I know why you keep this appearance, I wasn’t bothered by it.”

“I am,” Ping said, brows lightly furrowing, almost annoyed. “I’m bothered by all of this, at the moment.”

“I’m sorry,” Guizhong replied softly, feeling how her hands were shaking slightly.

Ping sighed, crossing her long legs over each other in an elegant motion. “The soapstone glaze lily. It’s yours.”

“Huh?”

“Morax gave it to me when we cleared out Guili Assembly. We knew a flood was coming, so we packed up everything. That was also when he cleared out your tent and gave it to me. He said you would have wanted me to have it.”

“Well, he knew we were friends…”

“Yeah… friends.” Ping scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Guizhong could feel her heart sink, and at the same time, she got angry. “Why are you doing this to me then? What did I do to you, that you have to be like this? First you act as if we’re still old friends, then you look sour when I make small talk and now you act as if you don’t want to be friends?”

Something flared up in Pings eyes, reminding Guizhong of the many arguments they had before they became friends. “I mourned the love of my life for almost four thousand years, I’m sorry if things are a little difficult and awkward for me as well! I don’t know how to deal with this situation any better than you do.”

What did that have to do with her? She hadn’t- or had she? In the archon war, she hadn’t really fought herself, but she had constructed weapons. So maybe she did have a hand in the death of Ping’s love? Then, of course Ping would feel conflicted.

Then it made complete sense for Ping to be angry at her, and to be upset that she was still alive, while her love wasn’t. And no matter how much she wanted to bring someone back from the dead, she was only a minor goddess. A feat like that was far beyond her abilities. It was even beyond the abilities of someone like Morax, who wasn’t only a major god, but also an archon.

“You were gone for almost four thousand years.” Ping said quietly, hand rubbing at her temple. “I met my husband about a thousand years ago.”

“I’m sure it took a long time to forget about your love,” Guizhong said, taking a sip of her tea.

“I never forgot. I’ve felt the same then as I do now. I loved my husband, but it was a different kind of love. I could never love him as all-encompassing as I did with my first love. But the way I did love him was good enough for him. We were married for fifty years.

He was so nice, he even comforted me whenever I was crying, missing my first love. Which I did, a lot. Even when it had been so long already. You don’t just get over a piece of your very soul being ripped away from you.”

Guizhong took a deep breath. “Look, I’m really sorry. I don’t know who they were, but if one of my inventions caused you this grief, then I truly am sorry. You know I never would have deliberately done something to someone you love. But I understand that you’re angry, and that you might not want to see me again.”

“But you did do it deliberately. So of course, I’m angry. I’m angry, sad, happy, I’m all at once, and I don’t know how to deal with it.” Ping said, almost soft now, shaking her head.

Guizhong blinked, thinking hard, trying to figure out who she hurt deliberately. She wasn’t good with weapons, she only ever played around with a sword and with a catalyst a little, but she wasn’t actually a fighter. That’s why she teamed up with Morax and his adepti.

“Who? When? I’m sorry, I… I cannot think of anyone. I didn’t think I’d lost any memories, but maybe there was some sort of loss when I returned to my dust sprite form… I’m so sorry.”

That she didn’t remember only made matters worse. What would Ping think? That she didn’t care. That whoever it was, their life had not mattered to the goddess. Which surely wasn’t true, because she never wanted to hurt anyone. She even felt bad for every life her inventions had taken. It simply couldn’t be helped at the time, it was kill or be killed.

“You don’t remember charging ahead, not waiting for anyone to accompany you? You knew it was too dangerous, and yet you stupidly went ahead without waiting for Morax and me to return! Not even taking any of the yaksha with you! No, we got there when you were already taking your last breath! I couldn’t even say goodbye!

I’ve missed you every single day, for four thousand years, thinking I would never see you again! Living with the regret that I was too much of a coward to confess my feelings to you, because I didn’t want to lose my best friend. And then I sat there, looking at your lifeless body, knowing I would never get the chance to tell you.

Thinking that I would spend every single day of my life cursing the fact that I am still here, without you. I stopped making music, because what was there to play when the one completing the melody of my soul isn’t here with me?

And then you’re there, out of thin air. You’re back. And everything I was ever scared of comes crashing down on me. What if I lose you again? What if I don’t have the courage to tell you hat I’ve loved you this whole time? Worse, what if I do have the courage and I end up chasing you away? What if you do feel the same but hate that I had a husband and can’t forgive me for that?

I’m sorry. I really am. I just- I couldn’t keep this any longer. I’ve spent four thousand years living with this regret, I can’t do it a day longer, knowing you are alive. And whether we stay friends or not will be your choice. It just… It didn’t feel fair to decide this by myself. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me.”

Guizhong felt as if a mountain had been dropped onto her. She almost had the urge to look around and see if Morax was here. But no, he wasn’t. It was only her and Ping. Ping, who had just confessed her love for her multiple times in this emotional rant.

Ping didn’t look at her, looking down at her hands resting in her lap instead. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s me who’s sorry. You are right, I was stupid. And I regretted it every single day since then, with how limited of a conscious I had as a dust sprite. When I came back, I was so scared of meeting you again, that’s why I was acting so weird. Because I was scared of how you might have changed in all this time.

I am stupid, I really am. To think I was so scared this whole time. The- the glaze lily. Morax gave it to you because he knew I was practicing them with the goal of making a perfect one for you. But I never got that far. I thought if maybe, I was able to make a perfect one, then I’d finally find the courage to confess my love for you as well.”

Ping looked up at her, her beautiful purple eyes widened. “A-And you’re not upset that I married?”

“I promise you, I’m not. I’m glad you found someone to spend time with. To share love with. I mean I can understand if you do not wish to… You know. Make something of this. I understand if you don’t want to do that to your family. I’m just happy that we were finally able to confess to each other.” The goddess said with a gentle smile. She didn’t want the other woman to get into trouble with her family, after all.

The adeptus laughed, sounding relieved. “Don’t worry about them. They know all about you, my little glaze lily. They’ll be happy for us and looking forward to get to know you better, I promise.”

Guizhong could feel the heat shoot into her face, she was quite sure that she was turning red all over.

Ping watched her and chuckled. “Well, well, well, who would have thought that you can look even cuter than you already do?”

The goddess buried her face into her hands, making a strangled noise. Oh gods, was this going to be her life from now on? She could hear the telltale sound of heels clicking on the floor, and then the couch next to her dipped. A warm hand brushed over her hair.

“You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you. Not a day went by that I wasn’t thinking about you. Not a day where I didn’t miss you. Not a day where I didn’t feel incomplete,” the adeptus said softly, barely above a whisper. It made Guizhong feel weak.

“You’re going to make me cry at this pace,” she pressed out, voice strained. She could already feel her eyes starting to burn dangerously. Ping loved her. Even after all this time. And not just that. She wanted them to be together.

Fingers were gently playing with the strands of her hair. “Then I’ll cry right along with you. I’ve spent four thousand years regretting never telling you that I love you. So how could I spend even another hour living with this regret, now that you’ve miraculously came back to me?”

“This time, we’ll do it right, yeah?” The goddess asked, careful.

“Mhm, I won’t accept anything less. You owe me for making me wait,” Ping said, sounding almost teasing.

“Hey, you made me wait, too.”

“Other than you, I was actually planning to confess to you. I had the set goal in mind to confess to you on the next full moon. Romantic moonlight dinner, then pathetically proclaiming my love to you and begging you to please not discard our friendship if you don’t feel the same for me.”

Guizhong laughed softly, raising her head. Her hand came up to wipe at the corner of her eye as she laughed. “I was planning to confess once I finally had those glaze lilies perfected!”

“That would have taken you what? Two hundred more years?”

“Hey!” Guizhong nudged her with her shoulder, shaking her head fondly. She felt relieved. So, so relieved. Suddenly, being around Ping felt so much easier. But at the same time, not. Because there was this new tension between them, like an underlying electrical current. There was a flutter inside her, was this what people meant when they talked about butterflies in ones stomach?

She looked at the other woman, who was grinning slightly. The same grin she used to have whenever she was challenging Guizhong. Mischievous and playful. She wanted to kiss her. Morax and Ajax made it look like it was something sweet, tender and loving. She wanted to know what it would be like to kiss her.

Would it feel like that? Except that Guizhong didn’t know how kissing actually worked. It probably was just pressing your lips onto each other’s, right? How wrong could that go? She’d spent too long thinking too much about stupid things. So she surged forward, pressing her lips against Ping’s.

After a short moment, Ping pulled away, much to the goddess’ regret. But she didn’t move far, as she could feel the other woman’s breath on her lips. “Gentle,” she murmured, pressing their lips back together much more careful, softer. This was definitely nicer than the one before.

Ping leaned back, pulling her with her until Guizhong was half lying on top of her. She looked up at her with wide eyes, brushing her fingers through her bangs. “I love you, Guizhong.”

And Guizhong laughed, feeling happy and warm. Was this what Morax and Ajax felt like? Was this why they looked so radiant, especially when they were together? This feeling, almost like warm honey running through her whole body?

“I love you too, Ping.”

Chapter Text

Ajax sighed contently, as Morax pressed his lips against his warm neck. He didn’t quite know how long it’d been since Guizhong left. They had decided to stay on the couch and just laze about for a while longer, enjoying each other’s company. How could he resist the idea of cuddling and kissing his future husband?

“Shouldn’t we… check up on her? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The ginger asked.

Right then, he could hear the front door open. It had to be Guizhong, nobody had left the building since her. She was probably done with her stroll around the harbor. He wondered if he should apologize for teasing her. He hadn’t meant any harm. But she still was upset by his words.

“Mhm, about an hour. But don’t worry, I just heard the front door open.” Morax murmured against his throat..

“Oh, okay. Good.”

Strangely, the steps he could hear were a clicking noise like high-heeled shoes. Guizhong usually opted to walk around barefoot or only wore liyuen style slippers. Morax kissed his neck once more, then moved his head up.

“Don’t tell me you two are still kissing on the couch?” Guizhong’s teasing voice could be heard from the doorway.

“Technically we stopped when we heard the door open,” Ajax said with a laugh.

Morax hummed. “Brought a friend?” He asked, without sitting up to look back.

“A mutual one.” Oh, it had been very long since he heard that voice. Well, sounding like that. He had gotten used to it sounding older.

“Ping. What a pleasure. Excuse me, my fiancé and I will be right there.” He replied, smiling down at Ajax, pressing a last, sweet kiss onto his lips before carefully getting up.

“Ah, so you finally settled down, Zhongli? Congratulations.” Ping asked.

Morax chuckled, straightening his posture. “Thank you. Mhm yes, but more important than that, Morax did.”

Ping raised an eyebrow, looking surprised. “Ah, so he does know.”

“He does. You can speak freely here. I don’t intend to keep secrets from my soon-to-be-husband. I apologize for the casual attire, I did not think that there might be visitors today. Not that you are intruding, of course.”

He felt a little embarrassed. Instead of his usual attire, he wore simple black pants in the same style as he usually wore and a thin sweater made from white wool. Sure, it was expensive, silken soft wool, but it was more casual than almost any of the adepti had ever seen him. It was something Morax liked to wear. Surely not an outfit befitting of Rex Lapis.

“There it is again,” Guizhong muttered, shaking her head.

Morax looked at her questioningly, brows twitching ever so slightly as he was about to frown but remembered that he shouldn’t. They weren’t alone. He needed to get a grip of himself. “What is?”

“The stick shoved up your behind. Didn’t see that in a while.”

Next to him, Ajax snorted with laughter and put his hands before his mouth, trying to hide it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, feigning ignorance.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Payback for teasing me earlier, Morax.”

Ping raised her eyebrow at her. “Teasing you about what?”

“You,” the short goddess replied, huffing. “I don’t like when he’s acting like this. He isn’t actually like that. That’s just because you’re here.”

“Guizhong.” Morax said, feeling tense. He really wanted to take Ajax’ hand, calm himself down, ground himself. But he shouldn’t. Not that he was embarrassed of him or of their love. But he knew how highly Ping had always thought of him, even already in the early days of the archon war.

They considered each other old friends, sure. But they were friends the same way that he was friends with Cloud Retainer, Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper. They spent time together and were friendly with each other, drinking tea and chatting or dining occasionally. But if they realized how young he actually was, how young he had been then, and that a lot of his success was built on acting grander than he actually was, they would lose all respect for him.