Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

'This is wrong,' Essek thought, 'I shouldn't be here.'

As if to underscore his point, he heard his own voice, several feet away, say, "that isn't right."

He turned to the source of the statement and found himself looking directly into his own eyes, as if in a mirror. The accuracy was such that he almost might have believed he was currently observing his own body in an out-of-body experience, had it not been for the haughty sneer on his lips and the narrowed eyes. Taking a moment to analyze the situation, he realized the situation was even worse than his first impression. The Essek facing him dressed as the Shadowhand, with the same cruelty and arrogance Essek too had worn but a few years previous.

That was not, however, the most worrisome aspect of Essek’s current predicament, however.

First, he was currently on what appeared to be a battlefield, based on the damage that immediately indicated that a number of spells had recently been used in the area, the uprooted ground to the greenery that even now burned with lingering flames telling its own story.

Second, and most unsettling of all, was that the person facing Essek down not 60 feet away was who he immediately recognized as Caleb Widogast–but not his Caleb Widogast. This one glared across the battlefield at his duplicate, wearing more years than his own and, somehow more daunting than that prospect, a look of malice that told him that this Caleb would kill him where he stood if he only had the chance.

“Curious,” the other Caleb said, “your echo seems more corporeal than it should be.” This Caleb, decorated in robes that immediately indicated allegiance, if not membership, in the Assembly, inspected him as one might look at an odd bug that had appeared where it should not have been.

“And yet, you did not cast it differently than you usually do. Curious indeed,” Caleb continued to muse. Near him, his own duplicate remained silent, seemingly inspecting him in turn but keeping his observations to himself. Essek watched as this Caleb quickly and precisely pulled the material components for the resonant echo spell out of his component bag and started the casting for his own echo.

The other Caleb was correct in the sense that Essek was decidedly not an echo, capable of smelling the stench of the battlefield and feeling the grinding of his fingernails into his palms. That meant he could cast something as he normally would, rather than flickering from existence as an echo might, and therefore he could defend himself if need be. Most likely, at least. This did not, however, explain why he was here, now, with these people he both did and did not recognize, and not in Aeor, with Caleb.

That was when he noted that the other Caleb had finished casting and had ripped his own echo onto the battlefield.

Only this one was also not an echo, and most certainly was his Caleb.

Immediately the familiar stench of blood and burning hit him and he reached out to steady himself even though he was already on solid ground. Across from him stood Essek, cloaked as the Shadowhand, grimacing in frustration and sporting a bit of blood trickling from his nose.

About 15 feet away from him stood another Essek, clad in the same clothes he had only just seen him in, geared up to brave the frigid weather they expected of Aeor. His Essek appeared undamaged but mildly panicked, and Caleb immediately followed his gaze to the man standing to his side.

And balked.

This was Caleb, but with several years on him, clothed in robes indicating an archmage of the Assembly and the expression of a man willing and ready to murder in cold blood. This was the man Caleb sometimes saw in his dreams, the man who could have killed his parents and kept going. A man who hadn’t broken, at least, not in the way Caleb had.

This was Bren. Or at least, what was left of him.

"It seems there is something off about these echos," the Shadowhand noted from his spot but a dash away from Caleb. Ripping his eyes from the form of what he could have become, he made eye contact with his own Essek, who looked like he wanted to communicate but didn't know what to say and didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to himself.

“No matter,” Bren stated summarily, with a shrug, “it is clear that I cannot direct this echo, so I will have to wait for later to determine the reason for the oddity of the casting.” With a last glance at Caleb, Bren redirected his attention to his components pouch and quickly procured whatever it was he sought.

Caleb immediately recognized the materials necessary for a fireball spell and so he communicated such, as gracefully as could be expected, to his Essek.

"Fireball!" he yelled, making eye contact with Essek from across the field. Essek's eyes widened and he pointed to a spot somewhat between the two doppelgangers, but out to the side, away from the center of their combat and hopefully outside of the blast radius. Understanding immediately, Caleb clicked his boots and went rocketing in that direction at the same time that Essek did a very jerky misty step right into his arms, the two of them colliding with a shared grunt. It very nearly knocked the air out of him but he couldn't bring himself to care, relieved as he was to put more distance between himself and the twisted alternate version of him.

Turning to look, he saw that both his own doppelganger and the other version of Essek had directed their attention to the two of them, where they stood clutching themselves together, Essek's arm looped around his waist and Caleb with his arm curled almost protectively around Essek's shoulders. That fact somewhat negated their intent of avoiding the attention of the combatants, only serving to make them more interesting to these alternate versions of themselves.

"Fascinating," the other version of him said, like he had just watched an animal do an interesting trick. The other Essek just hummed as he scrutinized the two of them.

"We need to get out of here," Essek gritted out in Undercommon, seemingly hoping that only one of their alternate selves would be able to understand what they hear of their conversation, "this must be some sort of trap we set off, an illusion or dunamantic reaction. Either way, this is about to get very dangerous very quickly."

"You don't need to tell me twice," Caleb said, making eye contact with the Shadowhand over Essek's shoulder, "but where to? We don't know anything about this reality, it could—"

Caleb cut off what he was saying upon hearing the other version of him speak. "Is this some sort of illusion, Thelyss?" he asked, barely raising his voice to be heard across the distance. "Is this supposed to discomfort me?"

"As much as I wish I could lay claim to whatever this is, I'm afraid I am as lost as you," the Shadowhand responded, looking almost thoughtful as he watched them speak hurriedly to each other, voices low and mouths angled close to the other's ear.

"Perhaps they do come from another timeline, as an echo would, but that would not explain why they are corporeal," Bren asked, still considering the theoretical ramifications of Caleb and Essek’s presence there, “and I have certainly never seen an echo that could speak independently.”

“Did you come here to have a study session?” the Shadowhand asked, “I have much better things to do than listen to you hypothesize over magic you do not understand.” Bren, who had taken on a curious posture, as if he had been completely distracted from the battle that had assuredly been happening before Caleb and Essek’s arrival, suddenly hardened and turned his attention back to the Shadowhand.

“Awfully bold, from someone who needed to ask Ikithon to do his research for him,” Bren commented, acid dripping from his words, “don’t expect the same treatment from me.”

Over Essek's shoulder he saw the Shadowhand narrow his own eyes at the allegation. He gripped tighter to Essek's shoulder as Essek and Caleb were forgotten for the moment; while Caleb preferred their attention elsewhere, he couldn’t help but recognize that they had appeared in the middle of a battle between two powerful wizards. Wizards who, most assuredly, were about to start slinging spells at each other once more. They needed to get out now, before this got worse.

Almost as if his doppelganger had heard Caleb's thoughts, Caleb heard him begin the verbal component for the fireball spell he had intended to start earlier. Making eye contact with Essek, he quickly sped through the casting of a teleport spell, aiming for somewhere he hoped might be safe, even in this terrible, altered reality.

He felt the heat of fire on his heels and the image of a scowling Shadowhand in his eyes as the magic spilled forward to rush them across the continent.

He hadn't been certain where Caleb would take them, but being greeted with the familiar view of the Grove made him realize it was likely the best choice for a reality with unknown parameters. Looking about the area, Essek immediately noticed that the rot of the Savalirwood had encroached much closer to the Grove than he had ever remembered seeing it.

Beside him Caleb hummed to himself. "It's the same as it was the first time I saw it, if not worse."

"The Clays pushed the corruption back, didn't they?" Essek asked, surveying the area. They had landed on the edge where the Grove gave way to the Savalirwood, and he could feel the oppressive presence of the wood at his back. He took a few steps forward into the Grove proper.

"Caduceus's parents and siblings did, after they were rescued and returned. They had been working on it for a little bit by the time you first saw it." Caleb said, and Essek could see him taking in all the ways that the Grove was different, likely comparing it to how it looked when the Nein—or at least the remnants of them—first arrived there. "The fact that it looks like this makes me believe they were never rescued."

Before Essek could weigh in on that thought he heard a tentative, "hello?" called out from further into the Grove.

"Caduceus?" Caleb responded, pushing further into the graveyard. Mindful of what the two of them had just witnessed of their own alternate selves, Essek crept forward just a bit more tentatively.

After a moment, Essek saw a tuft of long, faded pink hair stick out from behind one of the crumpled ruins. It was quickly followed by the rest of the firbolg, looking fundamentally the same as Essek had last seen him, though perhaps not as well groomed. It seemed that they were far enough into the future here that Caleb's alter self was showing his age, but Essek and Caduceus, long lived as they were, looked essentially identical.

"You seem to have the advantage here," Caduceus responded, keeping a distance from both himself and Caleb, "as I don't know your name."

"Caleb Widogast," he responded, immediately. Caleb then turned to Essek with a look.

"Essek Thelyss," he said as prompted; it's a dangerous choice, providing his actual name. While Caleb had the advantage of going by a different name than his other self—even if on scrutiny they were the same person—Essek had no such protection. He had the same exact face and name as the current Shadowhand of the Kryn Dynasty.

"Good to meet you," Caduceus told them, voice polite. "You'll have to excuse me. Usually when I hallucinate it’s my family members, so this is a change of pace for me."

Ah, he thought. There it is.

"Caduceus, this is not a hallucination. I am real," Caleb responded, moving closer. Caduceus stayed where he was, perhaps due to the fact that Caduceus believed they were not really there and therefore posed no harm to them.

"I don't usually have the creativity to imagine people I've never met, but it is possible that this is the Wildmother sending me a message," Caduceus answered placidly.

Caleb finally came close enough to Caduceus to reach out and grab hold of one of his arms. Caduceus furrowed his eyebrows then, looking down at the point of connection between them.

"Caduceus," Caleb said, almost reverent, "I am your friend. Perhaps not in this reality, but in another. You have been a good friend to me, and have provided counsel to myself and many of our friends. We met you here, some time ago, and took you on our journeys around Wildmount. We saved your family–your parents, Cornelius and Constance, and your aunt Corrin, and your siblings, Clarabelle, Colton, and Calliope. You introduced our friend Fjord to the Wildmother and saved our lives countless times. All of you, the Clay family, you managed to push the corruption of the Savalirwood just a little further out."

Caduceus just blinked, once, twice, a third time.

"Okay," he said. "And why did that not happen here?"

"I don't know enough about this universe yet to say," Caleb responded, glancing over at where Essek had remained silent this entire time. "But it seems that the version of me in this reality made a very different decision at a point in my past that led me down a different path, leading to him never meeting you or the rest of our friends."

"And him?" Caduceus asked, looking over at Essek. With the weight of his gaze on Essek he immediately noted that this was the same Caduceus—perceptive, able to read a person with a glance. And horribly, terribly lonely. Essek felt his heart go out to him with understanding.

"I never met any of you either, and that changed this version of me as well," Essek responded, then reconsidered, "or more accurately, I never met any of you, so I remained the way I was before meeting you."

Caduceus hummed to himself, looking them both over. Then he said, "It seems this conversation would be better served over some tea. You'll have to forgive me, I haven't entertained before. But I think you're supposed to serve tea."

Caleb followed behind the tall form of his friend-not-friend, watching the familiar way he had to stoop to get through the door and how he put on the tea the same way the Caduceus he knew always had. It's the same man, but just a step to the left. Who he would have become if the Nein had never barged into his graveyard requesting his services, bringing him out of his bubble and into the world.

After handing the both of them their tea, Caduceus asked, "so why are you here?"

"Here, as in this reality, or here, as in the Blooming Grove?" Caleb asked.

"Yes," Caduceus answered, making deep eye contact with his cup of tea. Caleb felt a smile forming without a thought.

"As for this reality, we're not entirely certain yet, though I imagine it has something to do with something we had been poking at–fooling around with things you don't understand can cause accidents," Caleb responded with a crooked grin, meeting Essek's gaze across the table that was much too big for the three of them. It occurred to him then that he had not taken the time to consider how the destruction of the T-Dock could impact them and the rest of the world. It didn’t seem like destroying the experiment should do anything, but they had not taken the time to study it first–for good reason–and the inherent nature of the T-Dock meant that it held a vast amount of dunamantic energy.

Looking across the table, Essek appeared to be hovering slightly to appear a normal size at this table outfitted for a family of firbolgs, which only made Caleb fonder.

Focus, Widogast, he told himself. Important alternate reality issues come before making heart eyes at your research partner.

"As for the Blooming Grove, we were simply aiming for somewhere safe and secluded. Or at least, that was my intent when I teleported us here," Caleb said, taking a moment to sip his tea.

Essek picked up for him. "When we entered this reality it was at the behest of our alternate selves, who used magic to call us into this universe to fight for them."

Caduceus blinked again. "I take it that is bad."

"Fight against each other," Essek clarified. Caduceus quirked his head a bit and looked between them, ears twitching in thought.

"I take it you two are not friends in this reality," Caduceus observed.

Essek huffed out a tired laugh, one that Caleb felt was warranted.

"Understatement of the year, my friend," Caleb said by rote. At the mention of 'friend,' he noticed Caduceus's ears flick. Years of knowing Caduceus made him wonder how he felt about being called friend all of a sudden, by a man he had never met. Hopefully he recognized the fondness in his voice when he said it and took no offense.

"You don't know much about international politics," Essek said, and it wasn't a question. Essek was very familiar with Caduceus and would know that the only reason the Caduceus he knew was aware that different countries existed was because all of his friends were intensely unable to forget. That, combined with the utter seclusion of the Grove guaranteed this Caduceus likely knew nothing about the outside world.

"I do not," Caduceus answered it like it was a question anyway.

"The versions of ourselves in this reality would gladly love to kill each other," Caleb said, not at all relishing the thought even as he said it, "They stand opposed to each other by virtue of country and arrogance."

"I see," Caduceus said thoughtfully. "And yet the two of you are friends in your reality?"

Caleb gave a tentative smile even as he noted Essek doing the same. "Certainly," Essek said, the same time Caleb said, "Very much so."

"And I am friends with you and yours?" Caduceus asked, and it made Caleb break a bit, the knowledge that however messed up this reality was, he had introduced Caduceus to a world in which he is surrounded with friends, with every intention of leaving him alone and lonely in his wake. Caleb could see the gears turning in Essek's head across the table and wondered if he was thinking the same thing.

"Yes, you are. A dear friend," Caleb said, reaching out and holding Caduceus's hand. He seemed stricken for the second time that day, seemingly unused to the touch of another person. Which he likely was, and wasn't that a terrible thought.

Caduceus was silent for a moment, staring at their joined hands. Caleb almost dreaded whatever he was about to say.

"You wish to return to your home," Caduceus stated, an observation both obvious and heartbreaking.

"Yes," Caleb said, not removing his hand.

"Would I be of any help?" Caduceus asked, his voice small, "I know you said I traveled with you and your friends in your world, and I am capable of assistance in a pinch."

"You would help us leave you?" Essek asked, his voice suddenly sounding hoarse, and oh, oh, he had definitely been thinking about it.

"You are my friends, apparently," Caduceus responded, "it's my understanding that friends help each other."

"They do indeed, Caduceus, and we would welcome your help," Caleb said immediately, without checking with Essek. A look his way reassured him that Essek wasn't any more alarmed about that development than any of the others they had faced so far.

"Our best bet is to return to Aeor, to where we were before we were drawn into this time. That's the only way we'll be able to determine what went wrong," Essek commented.

"It will be difficult," Caleb responded, "the only reason the two of us were managing on our own was because the rest of the Nein and the Tombtakers had already cleared out several swathes of enemies. We wouldn't be able to count on that now."

"I would hate to count on the Tombtakers for anything," Essek mused, and Caleb huffed a laugh.

"I suppose we should hope they haven't managed to get to Aeor, then," Caleb acknowledged.

"We'll need more assistance," Essek commented, his mind going the same direction Caleb himself had already been thinking.

"Perhaps we should try to track down the rest of our friends in this reality," Caleb continued the thought to its natural conclusion, "we don't know what might have changed for them, which makes them an unknown, but even then I think I would trust them more than a stranger."

"I trust I know what their vices would be, if they went the same way we did," Essek said, "worst case scenario is that they all leaned into their worst impulses, but at least we are familiar with that and could work with it."

"And that didn't happen with Caduceus," Caleb remarked. The 'or yourself,' went unsaid.

"But we can't assume that will be true for the rest of them. Caduceus was always the best of the Nein—that's a compliment," Essek broke off to direct at Caduceus, "—and we can't assume that the others are manageable just because Caduceus has always been a fundamentally good person."

A glance at Caduceus showed him watching the conversation passively; he might not understand the content of the words, but he was perceptive enough to get something from it nonetheless. He gave them a languid smile.

"I appreciate your assessment of me, but it feels unearned," Caduceus remarked.

"Perhaps, but our estimation is based on our version of you, and therefore the potential is within you. We are all made up of infinite potential, to be good or bad or something in between, and to impact the world for good or bad or not at all," Caleb rambled on, catching Essek's eye at the end of the little blather. It was borderline nonsensical, but Essek's expression took on the quality it always got when Caleb touched on the nature of dunamis and reality itself. Contemplative, and a little bit smitten.

"Regardless, this is all theoretical until we can manage to track any of the rest of them down," Caleb commented, noting offhandedly that Caduceus had not let go of his hand and appeared to be gripping it firmly enough to ensure Caleb would not remove it. Caleb saw no reason to do so, anyway.

"And Caduceus certainly won't be able to point them out," Essek responded.

"We'll need to put in some work to track down our friends. Perhaps the best place to start is the Cobalt Soul? We don't know whether Beau is still with them in this reality but regardless, if they keep themselves separate from the Assembly as they do in our timeline, that would be the safest place to track them down," Caleb said.

"Rexxentrum is likely a dangerous place to start," Essek told him.

"Zadash is safer. It has a Cobalt Reserve but isn't in the heart of Assembly business. Perhaps one of the Reserves in the Menagerie Coast would be an even safer option, but if we hope to track down Beau, specifically, I believe an Empire location will likely be more fruitful," Caleb told him.

"I will have to disguise myself," Essek stated.

"As will I, for the first time in a while," Caleb commiserated. "If you want to look on the bright side, at least to most of the Empire you are simply a lone drow, and not the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen."

"I never want to look on the bright side," Essek said, immediately, so deadpan that there was a time Caleb might have thought there had been a mistranslation on one of their parts. Now, being familiar with his sense of humor, he recognized it for the joke it was. A dumb one, but one that made Caleb grin despite himself.

"Unfortunately for you there are plenty of bright sides in your future," Caleb responded, letting the banter settle between them, comfortable and familiar. Essek's small smile indicated the feeling was mutual.

"Either way," Caleb continued, looking over at Caduceus, "we will need to be heading out soon. I would rather not waste too much time when the state of this universe and our presence in it is so unclear."

"I will pack my things," Caduceus said with a nod, standing up and releasing Caleb's hand. Caleb watched him disappear into one the back rooms, taking a glance over his shoulder as he did, as if worried that the two of them might disappear the moment he disappeared from the room. Knowing him and the way of this universe, he likely was.

"Are you certain of this plan?" Essek asked in Undercommon. He leaned forward, pushing his empty tea cup out of the way as he did so.

Reaching out to bridge the gap, Caleb took both of Essek’s hands in his own and planted them together, between them, palm to palm. "No, I'm not. But we won't be able to handle Aeor on our own, and it's our best bet in getting back to our reality."

"Perhaps, but I do not trust this reality," Essek said.

"Nor do I, but we must move forward with the hand we are dealt. I think it unlikely we will be able to recruit all or even most of our friends, and certainly do not think they will be the same as the ones we know, but I can't think of who else to have by our side," Caleb responded, letting his thumb rotate in circles where it rested on Essek's. They had not quite put a name to this thing that they were, but if there was any time to offer comfort, this was it.

"And him?" Essek asked. He didn't need to indicate who he meant; Caleb could follow his logic.

"He wants to help, and I would hate to leave him here. He is lonely, and so isolated," Caleb responded.

"And we will have to leave him eventually," Essek said.

"'Better to have loved and lost,' or so they say," Caleb responded. Essek looked pained at the comment, but didn't respond as Caduceus came back into the room

"What was that language you were speaking?" he asked, pulling his meager travel pack about him.

"Undercommon," Essek responded, "it is spoken in the Dynasty."

"But not the Empire, I take it?" Caduceus asked.

"Not by many," Caleb told him.

Caleb felt Caduceus's watchful eyes on him, and felt a little bit too bare in his gaze. "You care about him a great deal."

"I do," Caleb said, without looking back at Essek or directly acknowledging Caduceus's observation.

That seemed to be all he intended to comment on, as Caduceus said, "well, I am ready if you are."

"Essek, would you be willing to do the honors?" Caleb asked, turning back to him.

"Certainly," Essek said with a flourish.

It turns out, tracking Beau down wasn't difficult at all.

That was the good news.

Crowded into a corner table in a seedy little tavern, the three of them weighed their options.

"We don't know for sure that she wouldn't help us," Caleb said, just a touch despondent. Essek knew that the two of them were extremely close, even among the Nein, so it's no wonder that this had him worried.

"No, we don't," Essek responded, obligingly, "but the whole 'staged a coup of the Cobalt Soul' thing makes me wonder how trustworthy she would be, even if we could get her on our side."

"I know, I know," Caleb said. He reached out and took Essek's hand in his own, a move he had been doing increasingly often recently, oftentimes seemingly without thinking. Essek squeezed his hand in support.

"I'm not saying we shouldn't try, I just think we should… temper our expectations," Essek told him.

"You don't need to coddle me," Caleb said with no malice.

"It's possible we could win her over with promises of Aeorian spoils. It seems the Soul has taken to doing freelance spy-work, so perhaps this is the type of thing they could leverage," Essek mused.

"Beau will always be curious. We can work with that as well," Caleb continued the thought, "there are other variables I can only imagine now."

"Guys, someone's heading this way," Caduceus mumbled from his spot on the outside of the table.

Essek barely had time to respond before he registered a deep voice saying, "the three of you have been talkin' real quiet all evening. I just wanted to make sure everything was on the up and up."

Essek looked up and met the eyes of a large human, muscular and clearly working as a hired guard for the terrible tavern they'd been staying in the past few days.

Before he could think up a response he registered Caleb by his side saying something loud and in Zemnian. Though he didn't understand the entirety of it, the tone combined with the words he did recognize—something about sweetheart and love—made him flush. Through his disguise that wouldn't register, but that didn't mean he couldn't lean into his initial reaction.

"You'll have to excuse my husband here, he gets a bit—ah, much, when he drinks," Essek said, doing his best to downplay his prominent Dynasty accent. He'd had some practice in the past year, but it still didn't come easy. He didn't need to try to look flustered, at least.

Caleb said something else in moderately slurred Zemnian, disentangling the hand that had been holding Essek's to rub up the rest of his arm in what would have been, in the Dynasty, a horrendously forward and uncouth motion, if not mildly taboo in public. Here, though, it was simply mushy and a little sickening. Essek had his own thoughts on the matter, and did his best to channel them into his awkward but loving husband persona.

"Honestly, I don't know why I take you anywhere when you're going to be like that," Essek said in Caleb's general direction. Caleb just grinned lasciviously at Essek, the alertness of his eyes giving away his sober state to anyone who cared to inspect closely enough.

Thankfully, the human guard didn't have the darkvision that Essek did and couldn't see that level of detail, because he simply wrinkled his nose and waved an angry hand at them before leaving them be.

Once he was a safe distance away, Caduceus said, "you are quite good at that."

"Good at what?" Essek asked at the same time Caleb said, "We've had practice."

Caduceus gave a soft smile.

"Even in our own universe our friendship isn't exactly accepted," Caleb said, leaving a great deal out of that explanation.

"I'm starting to get that impression," Caduceus responded.

"I believe it may be time to relocate to a more private location," Essek said, keeping watch on the man who had approached them earlier.

"Ja, probably so," Caleb responded, standing up unsteadily and reaching out to Essek for balance. Continuing to play along, Essek led him up the stairs, Caduceus following close behind. Their disguises were not far off of their own body types, so the image of a visually larger Caleb—still human, but with mousy brown hair and no freckles—laying all over Essek—still an elf, just with the skin tone shifted into what would be considered "warm brown"—was frankly laughable. Once they were at the top of the stairs Caleb no longer felt the need to play the affectionate drunk husband, retracting himself from Essek's side. He found himself frustrated with how he missed the weight immediately, completely wrong-footed as he was in this universe. The presence of Caleb made him feel better about it all. He'd managed to stave off whatever panic he felt about the entire situation by virtue of having Caleb by his side.

This was a terrible idea.

"We don't have time to dally and come up with something better," Caleb said, forgetting he hadn't said the first thought.

"I know," Essek said, seemingly following along anyway. "That doesn't mean it's good."

"It will fall apart as soon as we're inside the door. We'll just have to play it by ear by then," Caleb said, then turned to Caduceus. "I can teleport near instantaneously, as can Essek. If anything goes wrong, stick close and we'll get you out."

Caduceus blinked the way he did every time Caleb remembered to include him, like he still wasn't certain this was happening and he was with them. That he was really being included.

"Thank you," Caduceus mumbled, and Caleb still couldn't bear the thought of what this universe had done to him. The thought broke over him like a wave and he just stepped forward and stuck his arms around the firbolg, pulling him into a tight hug. Caduceus tensed, again, but then quickly relaxed into it, running his fingers through Caleb's hair.

"I will tell you as many times as necessary that you are our friend," Caleb said quietly, knowing he'd be able to hear him, "and when it does come time for us to leave, I hope you know how good you are, how easily you befriend the people around you."

Caduceus made a low choking noise, and when Caleb leaned back he could see his wobbling lip. Pulling out of his grasp, Caleb reached up and patted the side of Caduceus's face gently. Stepping away he turned to see Essek watching with an odd look about him. Caleb didn't have time to analyze it, and therefore endeavored to move on.

"My seeming will only last an hour, but that should be enough time to get in. If not, I'll figure out a way to recast it," Caleb said, preparing to cast.

"Wait," Essek said, stepping forward. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind Caleb's ear. His expression was pained.

"I know," Caleb said, "I'm not eager to wear his face either."

Essek didn't say "you mean your face?" He didn't say that because he was a good man, and he knew that Caleb didn't want to hear that. Instead, he placed both hands on the sides of Caleb's face and pulled him down, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

"No matter how people look at you, you aren't him," Essek told him, already stepping back. Caleb took a deep breath and forced a smile.

"I know," he said, taking in Essek's form before he too would be distorted by the seeming spell.

With the final motion of the spell and the required incantation, Caleb's form morphed slightly into the visage of the older him that he had seen before. Into Archmage Ermendrud. Beside him, Essek took on a new form, which to Caleb appeared like a double image. Underneath, Essek, and superimposed, an unimposing elf disguise. On his other side Caduceus remained unchanged, as he didn't feel the need to waste effort on hiding someone who didn't really need to hide.

"Let's go," he said, trying to prepare himself.

Essek motioned for him to go on ahead, and Caleb led the way. The effect was instant. People on the street flinched away from him and averted their gaze, taking alley ways to avoid crossing his path. All the while Caleb kept his head up and tried to channel his worst.

He tried not to think about where he gathered his inspiration.

He strode into the Zadash Cobalt Soul like it was nothing, like no one could touch him. Behind him, Essek and Caduceus played his meek secretaries, clutching a pad of paper and periodically scribbling something. There was no resistance to his entry, but upon noting his presence several members of the Soul jumped up and to attention, fidgeting between themselves.

"I have a meeting with High Curator Lionett," he said, imperiously, intentionally not looking at any of the archivists surrounding him. They were beneath his notice, he was too important to care to address them specifically.

"Ah, um, we do not—" one of them started to say, "we did not know—"

Feeling terrible, he asked, "Are you telling me that my appointment was misplaced?"

One of them, perhaps the one who initially responded, squeaked.

Caleb took a shot in the dark and said, with what he hoped was his slimmest smile, "I know the High Curator is not my biggest fan, but that does not mean she can intentionally lose my appointments with her," then he turned, looking in the direction of where he'd heard the response, making eye contact with a pale-looking half-elf, "Unless you mean to tell me that this was a mistake, and the Cobalt Soul is that disorganized in its record keeping?"

Before the poor half-elf could respond a door further into the Soul slammed open and out walked who he immediately recognized Beau, though she had several different scars from the one he knew and held herself with a distinctly more predatory nature. Her long steps took her even with him nearly immediately.

"Alright, alright, there's no need to terrify my archivists, you've got your own students to do that to," she told him, looking sharp and eye contact clear. "These guys are mine to terrorize, and I don't need any of your pretentious wizard fuckery today. We don't have an appointment today, but if you're so insistent we talk, be my guest." And with that statement her smile turned into a grin, nearly predatory in nature.

Quirking an eyebrow in response, Caleb gestured for her to lead on. She simply rolled her eyes and continued back into the library. Caleb was certainly familiar with the space, as he had spent a great many days, weeks even, poring over tomes in this very place. He was as familiar with the library as any member of the Cobalt Soul likely was. He knew where she was leading them, though he noted that she took them in an extremely roundabout path to get to the largest meeting room available. It was a move that demonstrated distrust, and also perhaps a lack of personal knowledge of the archmage, as anyone who knew Caleb would have known he could remember the path with ease.

As soon as the three of them had filed in, Beau beckoned a couple of monks to follow her in, then closed the door behind her. That could very well be standard procedure when speaking to a member of the Assembly, or it could show that his disguise was not as good as it could be.

"Now, tell me. What was so important as to barge in here unannounced?" Beau asked, leaning against the door, pose aggressively casual. Taking a moment to note the differences between this Beau and his own—her garb was only mildly Cobalt Soul related, instead being a combination of many different styles, and her face, arms, and abdomen sported several scars Caleb knew his own did not have—he looked her directly in the eye. Her eyes were narrowed, suspicious. He'd seen this look before, but it had been a long time since it had been turned on him. When he did not speak immediately she said, inspecting her knuckles, "Because I know we didn't have a meeting planned. Your glorious presence isn't something to be forgotten."

"Certainly, we did not have a meeting," Caleb responded easily. "But I needed to speak to you, and that seemed the most expedient way to do it."

"You're certainly good at getting your way," Beau responded. "Unfortunately, you're an arrogant prick. Whoever you are, you're good. You've got his mannerisms down to a t. But your friends aren't very convincing."

Caleb did his best not to react. Which of them gave it away he couldn't be sure, nor did it really matter. The other Beau knew they weren't who they said they are, and that was all that mattered.

In an effort to keep her from sounding some sort of alarm, he feigned chagrin and placed his right hand over his heart. "I swear to you, on my heart, that I am Bren Aldric Ermendrud."

This didn't seem to mollify her at all, instead knocking a harsh laugh out of her. "Cute, but you should know the man you're impersonating doesn't have a heart." Then, before he could say another word, she waved her hand in front of her, flippantly. Immediately he felt the seeming spell drop.

He straightened up somehow more than before at the recognition that he and Essek were now standing in this room completely undisguised, and that Beau had apparently just dispelled his seeming without any effort. Before he could take much time to wonder at her sudden magic use he noted the flickering from a cuff bracelet on her right wrist. It was enchanted, of course.

In front of him, Beau had also straightened up. "I'll admit, I'm not entirely sure what to think here. I had assumed you were a spy, and the presence of the crick would tend to corroborate that, but you—" she pointed at him emphatically, "look just like Ermendrud."

"With less gray, hopefully," Caleb remarked, running his hand through some of the flyaway hairs at his temple.

Beau snorted and said, "less, perhaps, but don't kid yourself," almost as if by rote. She removed herself from her position by the door, holding a hand up to stop the monks from following her. She stalked right up to Caleb, and Caleb resolutely held his ground. Reaching out, she pulled a bunch of hair into view.

That hadn’t been what he’d expected her to do.

"Oh, sheisse," Caleb commented, looking at the bundle of gray hairs in her hand. "Guess I hadn't been keeping track. Those are gray."

He heard a bit of shuffling behind him and a muffled "what?" from Essek. He noted that the monks by the door stood taller when Essek started moving.

"I meant what I said. About being Ermendrud," Caleb said, making eye contact with Beau. The one who wasn't his friend, but could have been. "I'm just not the version you know."

"Fuck, man, I hate wizard shit," Beau said, sounding almost halfway like his own, "We had reports that one of his echoes went AWOL, but we didn't realize the thing was corporeal."

"The thing has feelings," Caleb commented, and she just glanced at him. She was off balance, he realized. She's used to knowing what was happening before it even happened, and she didn't plan for this possibility.

She was good at bouncing back, though. "And if those reports are true, then…" she trailed off, looking over his shoulder in the direction he knew Essek to be. Instinctively Caleb took a step back and to the side, placing himself between her and Essek.

This seemed to solidify the thought in her mind. "Ioun's sweaty tits," she swore, glancing between them. "You're the Shadowhand."

"That has not been my title in some time," Essek demurred, but did not deny her identification otherwise.

"You're his echo?" Beau asked, and Caleb could see the gleam of interest in her eyes.

"I suppose that is all I am in this universe," Essek responded.

Beau looked between the two of them. "Your universe must be different from this one."

"A bit," Essek conceded as Caleb said, "Fortunately."

"And you're not Archmage Ermendrud in your reality?" she asked him.

"My name is Caleb Widogast and I am a professor at the Soltryce Academy," Caleb informed her, "I was offered the position of archmage but decided I would rather cut off my own dick than be a part of that."

That startled a laugh out of Beau, who gazed between them and eventually settled on Caduceus.

"And who are you?" she asked him.

"Caduceus Clay," he answered placidly.

"You're from their universe as well, then?" she asked, when no further evidence was forthcoming.

"No, I'm from here. Or, well, north of here, but this reality, certainly," Caduceus answered.

"Caduceus is our friend in our universe," Caleb explained, "and when we teleported away from our alter selves we came to him."

"I just met them a couple days ago," Caduceus agreed.

"And you just went with them, no questions asked," Beau watched him. Caduceus, true to form, didn't react.

"There was nothing in the Grove for me," he said, "and I was lonely. They wove tales of our friendship in another world, and it was hard to stay behind, after that."

"And then you came here," she said, again looking suspiciously at Caleb, Essek still crowded in behind him.

"You're our friend as well. At least, our version of you is," Caleb told her. She grimaced.

"I can barely stand to be in the same room as you for two seconds, I cannot imagine being friends with you, even if you aren't quite the same skunkbag I know," Beau told him.

"I'm not surprised," Caleb said, though the truth still hurt. "You couldn't stand me for the first month we knew each other."

"And you claim we still became friends despite you being a miserable asshole," Beau commented, crossing her arms.

Taking a deep breath, Caleb met her gaze. "Beauregard Lionett, you are not just my friend. You are like a sister to me. You have saved me from gnolls when I was just a little scrub who could barely control flames, we've spent days studying in this very library, trying to solve this problem or the other. You were only the second person I opened up to after I spent eleven years in Vergessen, and I do not regret a single second I have spent with you."

Her posture was still stiff, guarded, but something in her eyes seemed caught in the tale he wove.

"I know you are not friends with the version of me that you know, and I honestly think that commends you. The version of me, here, in this universe, is a miserable little fuck who, when told to do terrible thing after terrible thing, said 'yes, sir,' and followed through. I know this version of you is different from the Beau I know, but you still look like her, and talk like her, and you are so close to the person I care for that it pains me."

Beau scrunched up her nose. "We're not—" she started to say, then gestured between herself and him and made a series of lewd gestures. Caleb felt himself gag a little.

"Absolutely not, oh, that's—sheisse. You're a lesbian and I am decidedly not interested in you," Caleb said, completely failing to keep the look of disgust from his face at the thought..

"Oh thank fuck," Beau said, "I don't know how alternate universes work but that would be fucked up."

"People are fundamentally the same in each universe," Essek said, quietly, like he couldn't help it, "immutable facts about who you are don't change from one to the next."

"Fantastic, glad to know," Beau looked between them again before settling on Essek.

"What about you, Shadowhand? Why are you here? Ermendrud—Widogast, I suppose, implied that he made a choice in the past that made him who he was. Why are you here, in the heart of the Empire?"

"Because of Caleb," Essek said, softly. "Because of him and the rest of his friends. The Mighty Nein, they called themselves. Meeting them changed me, changed my priorities and who I wanted to be."

"You're telling me a middle-aged ginger and the power of friendship made you turn away from your wicked ways?" Beau asked, disbelieving. When she put it like that, Caleb couldn’t help but agree with her disbelief; it sounded much too hokey to be true.

"It is hard to explain truly, but you seem to have the general idea," Essek said, still quiet. "I would topple governments for Caleb. Fortunately for myself and the rest of the world, he has no interest in that. Or, at least, he’s more interested in doing that himself."

Caleb's throat dried up at the undercurrent of sentiment in his statement. Though certainly intended as a joke, of sorts, Caleb knew Essek well enough to know he meant it, for whatever that was worth.

"He always has had something out for the Shadowhand," Beau mused, "I guess I should have considered sexual tension to be one of the causes."

"So now you see why we came to you," Caleb said.

"Not really," she said with a shrug, "I know that you and I were tight in your universe, but that has no bearing on this one, and I don't know what you could possibly want from me."

Just another reminder that this isn't his Beau.

"We were brought into this universe by magic gone wrong. We know where we were when it happened, and would like to get back there and see if we could reverse engineer a way back," Caleb explained, "And we don't know anyone here. All we know is that our friends are here, somewhere, living different lives."

"So you want me to help you get back, and you hope I will do it out of the goodness of my heart, because we’re friends," she said, accompanying her statement with little jazz-hands. Again, this Beau betrayed the lack of care she held for Caleb, and it hurt to see the way she sneered at him.

"Not the goodness of your heart, no. We sought you out because you are our friend in another life, but we're familiar enough with how you operate to know that you'll need something in return. So I have a couple of points to make in favor of agreeing to help," Caleb told her

"Shoot," Beau said, arms crossing over her chest again.

"Well, firstly, the location is in the far north, in Eiselcross, in an area full of powerful magical artifacts that would be worth a great deal by their own merit, to say nothing of their monetary value. Second, you are just as curious as our Beau is, and you want to follow this thread. Getting to know us is almost like knowing how our alternate selves tick, and what could that be worth, to have intimate knowledge of an archmage of the Assembly or the Shadowhand of the Kryn Dynasty? And third, and most importantly: it would piss off the other me," Caleb began to list off. With each new item in the list he watched Beau get more focused. He still knew how she ticked, even if this Beau was not his. Even if this Beau had decided, instead of running away from the Cobalt Soul and joining the Mighty Nein, to stay, and train, and bide her time until she was able to murder first Zeenoth, then Yudala Fon and take over as High Curator for the Wildmount branches of the Soul. This Beau was twitchy, and paranoid, and somehow even less keen to trust than his own, and yet it was still her, underneath it all, and it hurt.

"I'll need more information before I agree to anything," she told him, after a moment.

"Ja, of course," Caleb reassured her. "What do you need to know?"

Chapter Text

[Essek]

"Some of these people are gonna be a helluva lot harder to track down than others, and I still cannot believe you're fucking friends with the Sapphire of the South," Beau said, chewing absently on a pencil while staring at a list in front of her carrying Caleb's comprehensive list of their friends and where they might possibly be, handwriting neat and precise as always. Across from her Caleb smiled demurely.

" We're friends with her, actually," Caleb commented, causing this other Beau to give him a pointed look. 

"Whatever," she said, brushing it aside the same way she'd brushed away all of Caleb's overtures of friendship. She had held strong so far, but there were cracks. Essek knew it was only a matter of time before she grew somewhat fond of the wizard, despite her best efforts. Jester might have been the heart of the Mighty Nein, but Caleb had his charms. Even if he was biased.

Behind him he heard Caduceus approach with four cups of tea, placing one in front of each of them and then settling in quietly at the other end of the table from Essek. So far he'd seemed unsure of what to do with himself, and Essek couldn't help but commiserate. So far his presence had only made this more difficult. 

Essek watched Beau eye the tea suspiciously and then look to Caleb, relaxing slightly when she saw him take an absent-minded sip of the offered tea. She still didn't grab hers just yet, but she didn't look at it like it was about to bite her. Across from her, Caleb batted some of the loose hair that had come out of its tie out of his face, and there Essek caught sight of the offensive gray strands. He wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed them before, but he couldn't help being stricken by the very real indication of Caleb's mortality, and the difference between his lifespan and the human's. Trying not to stare, he bit his lip and took a sip of his own tea. He could have a breakdown over Caleb's aging later, when he wasn't trapped in an alternate reality.

"Well, first off, the Sapphire of the South, Jester Lavorre. She's taken over from her mother as the main draw of The Lavish Chateau, and makes a name for herself through bewitching company and the fact that her guests never know whether she'll be the sweetest person you've ever met or if she'll play a trick on you that leaves you destitute or worse," Beau said, looking at the paper. "She'll likely be the easiest to track down since she operates in a specific location."

"Yes, sounds like it," Caleb agreed.

"How's this one different, then?" Beau asked.

"Jester was always into pranks and having a laugh, but she generally managed to avoid leaning into the more… dangerous or vindictive stunts. From all reports, she's really leaned into Artagan's more negative influences," Caleb responded.

"Artagan?" Beau asked, scrambling for any crumbs of information she could get out of the deal. Ultimately that's the reason she agreed to help them. The Cobalt Soul traded on information, and Caleb and Essek had plenty to offer.

"Archfey. Also known as The Traveler. Leader of a cult Jester is the de facto leader of," Caleb responded immediately.

"Yeah, sure, why not. I'll need more information on that later," Beau said, scratching something next to Jester's name on the paper. "Skills?"

"Accomplished cleric, though don't count on her for healing except in a pinch," Caleb commented with a little smile. It was almost unfair of him to joke about her when she wasn't around to be miffed about it.

"I thought pinky here was a cleric," Beau asked, nodding her head towards Caduceus.

"We get into a lot of trouble," Caleb remarked with a shrug. Beau's smile twitched, though it didn't remain on her face.

"The rest of these guys have approximate locations at best," Beau said, scanning the list. "We've got a solid operating area for Fjord, Yasha, and Lucien. Fjord might be difficult to track down, as he tends to stick to the sea. Yasha and Lucien are mercs who tend to stick to a specific area, so you could probably track them down with only a little fuss." 

"Of course," Caleb assented. Beau eyed him

"And you're sure these people are the ones you were friends with? The Orphanmaker isn't a merc to sneeze at, and Lucien rolls with the Tombtakers," Beau asked, somehow still incredulous.

"And you're renowned for cutting down anyone who breathes at you funny, and we're sitting at the table with the Shadowhand," Caleb said mildly.

"If my reputation is as you say then you wouldn't be such a smartass," Beau said, testily.

"I'm used to it, or at least a version of it," Caleb responded. Switching gears, he placed his tea back on the table and asked "and what about Nott the Brave? Or Veth Brenatto?"

"We managed to track down records for a Veth Brenatto in Felderwin several years ago. Killed in a goblin attack. Her husband later disappeared in the middle of the night, rumored to be the Dynasty's work. It's unclear why they would have wanted a simple chemist, but…" she trailed off and looked to Essek, one of the first times since they grouped up here. So far she seemed to be pointedly ignoring him.

"Rumor no more," he said, stiffly. "It was the Dynasty."

Her eyes glittered as she jotted something else down on the paper. The look she gave him said she was not at all pleased with that level of information, but it was a start.

"The rest, all in good time," he continued. She narrowed her eyes at him but acquiesced and turned back to Caleb. 

"As for this Nott person, you'll understand that it's not easy to find a goblin who doesn't want to be found," Beau told him.

"Even a goblin who stays in the city? This isn't the Dynasty, goblins don't typically get to come and go in population centers," Caleb countered.

"I said it wasn't easy, not that it was impossible," Beau responded, sounding annoyed. This Beau frequently sounded displeased to be speaking to them, which isn't necessarily a new experience for Essek but likely wasn't pleasant for Caleb, close as he was with Beau. Across the table from Essek, Caduceus sipped his tea, not making eye contact with any of them. It had taken Essek some time to pick up on firbolg body language, seeing as how they were hardly common, but he was familiar enough with Caduceus himself to tell that he felt uncomfortable and out of place. It wasn't difficult to tell why; he knew this was not Caduceus's strong suit, so he likely felt like there was little he could add.

"We have a lead, though we're not certain it's the same person you're talking about," Beau started, "there's a thief in the city who almost no one has ever seen. This thief is well known mostly for rarely being seen in person, as well as for the fact that they steal actual valuables alongside pointless baubles. The few people who have seen them report that they're small in stature and tend to cover most of their skin. What is known about them would probably fit with your description, though there's no way to know for sure without tracking them down and getting face to face."

"What if we tried to contact them for a job?" Caleb asked.

"Yes, I'm sure a renowned thief will sit down with Archmage Ermendrud and High Curator Lionett without a second thought," Beau said snidely.

"Just because you caught us doesn't mean we can't hide our identities," Caleb retorted, perhaps a bit fed up with the constant sniping, "you caught us because I had no intention of the disguise lasting long past the initial meeting."

"Of course you didn't," Beau said, leaning her chin onto her hand.

"You're always a little troll, in every life, aren't you?" Caleb asked, voice suddenly fond. Beau blinked, as if not expecting this reaction. Likely, she wasn't. Essek first met Beau after she'd been traveling with the Nein for a while, so he didn't know what she was like before them, but his sense was that she had been a loner. This Beau certainly struck him as a loner.

"You're weird," Beau responded, "I don't know you, so don't go acting like you know me."

"Of course," Caleb demurred, shifting his gaze away from her to settle on the teacup in front of him.

Beau immediately seemed fidgety, like she wasn't sure what to do with herself. "Look, we can try your idea. It's no skin off my back if we can't track down your goblin, so I might as well follow your lead."

"Thank you, High Curator," Caleb responded, a response that functioned as a precision hit. This other version of Beau reeled, off balance, from the switch back to careful distance. She'd been prickly this entire time, but it was clear she had come to appreciate, if not enjoy, the casual affection from Caleb. 

"Ah," she said, "of course. We should figure out how best to do that."

"Of course," Caleb responded smoothly, "I have a few ideas."

[Caleb]

For all the unpleasantness that had abounded so far in this alternate universe, Caleb took great comfort in the familiarity of The Evening Nip. It wasn't exactly the same as his own—he had not been personally greeted as a friend of the proprietor's daughter, for example—but the atmosphere and clientele was exactly what he expected. The seats were sticky and the company loud, drunk, and trigger happy. Once, he would have hated it. Now, it seemed familiar enough to bring him a semblance of comfort, despite his nerves.

Beside him, Essek looked as discomfited as he always did when they came to the Nip, having rarely had cause to come to the version in their own universe, and filled as it was with reminders that they were in the center of the Empire. Though he currently wore the guise of a dark-skinned elf, Essek was always very aware of how welcome drow were, even in the underworld of the Empire. In front of him his hands clutched a tankard of ale like it was his lifeline. Glancing around, Caleb reached out and pried one of Essek's hands away from his ale and held it. Essek looked briefly in his direction with a smile, giving Caleb's hand a brief squeeze.

On Caleb's other side he heard a snort. Turning to determine the source of the sound, he was unsurprised to see Beau, arms crossed, one foot propped up on the seat below her. She was staring at their joined hands with a lifted eyebrow, one she turned his way once she realized he had looked at her. On her other side, Caduceus passively scanned the rest of the bar, clutching his own mug as Essek had been. 

"So, I take it you guys have some sort of forbidden romance angle to your reality?" Beau asked bluntly, gesturing at their joined hands.

"It's…" Caleb started to say, but then a glance at Essek made him trail off. They still hadn't defined this–whatever this was. Whatever they were. "It is complicated, ja."

"Damn, I can only imagine," Beau said, coming dangerously close to being sympathetic. 

"Guys, there's someone coming our way," Caduceus piped up, ears twitching with nervous energy. His Caduceus wasn't nearly as twitchy as this reality's Caduceus, but then again, this one hadn't had a fourth of the life experiences that his had. 

"Thanks, mein freund," Caleb responded. The tone of his voice combined with the content of his response seemed to settle Caduceus slightly.

Following Caduceus's gaze he saw a person approaching, small in stature, made smaller by a mild hunch. Caleb briefly wondered if this person would approach them directly before the figure hoisted themselves up into the chair facing him. The hood on their cloak was pulled low over their eyes, and Caleb could see the hint of a porcelain mouth on the bottom of the face. 

That mouth didn't move when they spoke, "I heard there's a job that needs doin', and while I don't normally respond to direct requests, I'll admit to being curious."

The voice was unmistakably the shrill, reedy voice of Nott the Brave.

Attempting to stave off a smile–this Nott isn't the one you know, he reminded himself–he barreled forward. "We've got a job in the far north, and we need someone who is good at cracking weird and esoteric locks, someone who is good at stealth."

"Well, clearly you're asking the right person," she responded, face unreadable past the mask, "but why me, specifically? There are many thieves out there, and I do good work to go unnoticed."

"Here we go," Beau said from his left; he could mildly see her cloaked form, the visage of a half-elf with a gnarly scar across the nose, out of the corner of his eye, overlaid on top of her true form.

"We are in a peculiar situation," Caleb started, "and it involves a lot of magic."

"You're not with the Assembly, are you?" she asked, suddenly looking shifty. 

"No, we're—" he started, but she cut him off before he could elaborate. 

"Because you sound an awful lot like that unpleasant Zemnian one, y'know, the one who probably tortures puppies in his free time or whatever," Nott said, pointing a gloved finger in his face. Caleb couldn't help pulling a face. "Goddammit, you are, aren't you."

"I'm not," Caleb said, at the same time Beau said, "yeah, he's that bitch."

Nott glanced between the two of them, and Caleb could tell she was moments from bolting. Before she could get anywhere he reached out the hand that wasn't still in Essek's and grabbed hers. She stiffened immediately but didn't try to dart away, which was good because Caleb didn't have the athletics or acrobatics ability to keep her from leaving if she wanted.

"I am from another reality, one very similar to this one but different in key ways," Caleb said, leaning close so that his words wouldn't escape the table. "It's weird magic stuff and we really need to get back to where we were before we were drawn into the time so that we might have a chance to get back."

"How did you find something even more fucked up to say than 'yeah, I'm Ermendude'?" Nott asked, shrilly, throwing a look over her shoulder.

"I'm not him," Caleb responded vehemently. "Maybe I could have been, once, but I didn't become him and that matters ."

"Why does this bother you so much?" she asked him, and it was a good question. He'd managed to sidestep most of Beau's jibes about how terrible the other version of himself was with just the barest cringe, but Nott's words were churning in his stomach.

"Because…" Caleb started, gaze flicking to his side where Essek sat, still tense—he could tell from how tight he held Caleb's hand and the way his free hand had settled on top of his components bag. "Because in my reality we are friends, you and I, and it hurts to hear you say these things about me, any version of me."

"Bullshit," Nott responded without hesitation.

"You may have just met me, but I met you years ago, when a scraggly human wizard reached out to the angry goblin girl who'd been thrown into the same cell as him. That goblin went by the name of Nott the Brave, and she was my best friend," Caleb told her, fiercely. It was difficult to gauge her reaction, the hood still firmly pulled over her face, but he could tell there was something there.

"So you know my name, big whoop," Nott said, "and you're using past tense, which means I probably died. It doesn't ingratiate you to someone to immediately tell them how they died."

"I'm not telling you how you died, I'm telling you how you lived ," Caleb said, squeezing her hand. "Your name is Veth Brenatto and you are a halfling, wife to Yeza Brenatto and mother to Luc Brenatto. And in my world, we lifted the curse on you and developed a spell to change you back to the way you're meant to be."

Nott was quiet for a moment. "All of you did that?" she asked, voice still hushed.

"Not me," Beau said, "I'm from this world. I'm apparently friends with them in this other reality too."

"Myself as well," Caduceus piped up.

"It was Caleb, myself, and our version of Veth who developed the spell to change you back," Essek said, the softness in his voice mirroring that of Nott's. He seemed to be making a mild effort to mask his accent, which likely wasn't necessary at this point, but Essek was nothing if not cautious.

"And Jester was the one who removed the curse," Caleb added.

"Who's Caleb?" Nott asked, "or Jester, for that matter."

"I'm Caleb," he responded, "I don't go by— I don't go by Bren in our world. My name is Caleb Widogast."

"And Jester is another of our friends," Essek said, his voice breaking a little bit, the way it frequently did when he referred to one of the Nein as his friend.

"She's the Sapphire of the South, here," Beau supplied.

Nott sat back in her seat a little, drawing Caleb forward in his seat by their still connected hands. Had Nott wanted to break the contact by now she could have–the handhold was initially meant simply to keep her in place. The thought then occurred that this is possibly the first time she has known a kind touch in a while, having survived for so long as a ghost, a lone goblin in the sea of the Empire. 

"This is all a bit far-fetched," Nott said, after considering it for the moment, "but. You know things no one else should know. And if it's possible you could change me back, I would be an idiot not to investigate that."

"We would be glad to have you," Caleb said.

"Of course you would, I'm a treasure," she said with all the bravado he remembered from their early days traveling together. "Fuck it, I'm in. But you better buy me some whiskey, stat, if I'm gonna deal with all of you fuckers."

"As much as I hate to feed your habit, I suppose it's only fair," Caleb said, gently, leaning back and releasing her hand.

"You're damn right it is," Nott responded, "and you better help me fix all of this, because you can't dangle all of that in front of me without coughing it up."

"I would hate to leave you in the lurch, mein freund," Caleb responded fondly.

Leaning back, he dared to brush his thumb over Essek's knuckles. Immediately he felt the drow stiffen next to him, then relax.

"With that out of the way, what's next on this party bus?" Beau asked, ever impatient.

[Essek]

"Are you sure you need all of these people?" Nott asked, squinting at Beau's handwritten notes of the locations and activity of the rest of the Not-Mighty-Nein. 

"Aeor is extremely dangerous, and we would be walking in with our hands tied behind our backs if we don't have as many allies as possible," Caleb responded. 

Essek recognized and supported this theory, as it really would be folly to bungle into Aeor unprepared. Even though the longer they took gathering allies and supplies, the more danger they put themselves in, from both their alternate selves as well as any possible complications from spending a great deal of time in this universe. Essek personally loathed the process of finding all his old friends and all the ways their lives had been derailed or broken. While Beau had done well for herself, in this universe she killed in cold blood to climb the ladder, rather than prove herself in the field. This Veth, without Caleb's magic, lost hope in ever being the way she was meant to be and became isolated and paranoid. And even Caduceus, who ultimately seemed to be the same person at the core, had a tinge of bitter loneliness and a bite that Essek had never noticed before. He did not relish meeting all of them as their worst selves, knowing who they could be or have been.

And, looking at Caleb, currently bickering with Beau over their next steps, he was caught with an unfortunate realization that they were not getting any younger. This other Beau had pointed out Caleb's gray streaks when they had first met her, and now that she had Essek couldn't stop seeing them. They weren't prominent, or overwhelming. They were single strands mixed throughout his otherwise very red hair, hardly anything to be overly concerned about. Caleb certainly hadn't seemed to dwell on it.

Essek shouldn't be dwelling on it. They have bigger issues right now, enough to fill a book, and yet Essek can't stop staring at the three gray hairs tangled in Caleb's messy ponytail. 

Humans have so little time.

They could have died so many times. Caleb was an adventurer, he could have died many times. Had died, for real, when they fought Lucien. And he could have easily died on any of their excursions into Aeor. It’s likely he could have even died when they got yanked into this universe.

They knew this when they set out. There had been numerous close calls already. And yet, suddenly, Essek faced the prospect that even if Caleb lived a full life, he would still die perhaps centuries before Essek. He could live a full life and die 40 years from now. Essek had already lived that time three times over.

Caleb had told him once that it would take time. They were taking their time, with whatever this thing was between them. And suddenly Essek was terrified he was watching Caleb's life pass through his fingers.

He was jolted out of his mounting panic attack by a teacup being thrust into his hands.

"You seem to be thinking awful hard about something," Caduceus told him, sliding into place next to Essek.

"Ah, yes," Essek said, coughing awkwardly, "I tend to do that."

"It's not good to get trapped in your own head," Caduceus responded, sipping his own tea. "Nothing good waits for you up there."

"I've thought of many good things in my life," Essek said, stupidly.

"I'm sure you have. But I don't think that was one of them," he said sagely. Essek remained silent at that, staring into the tea he was now holding.

"Would it help to share?" Caduceus asked him. A glance to the side told him that Caduceus was simply being his overly perceptive self, not anything untoward.

Essek hesitated a moment, watching Caleb gesticulate wildly to both Beau and Veth. Veth, now cloak-less and unmasked, and Beau, who was sitting crouched in her chair like she was ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

"This experience has been… harrowing, so far," Essek commented. "I am not keen to be reminded of all of the ways my life, and the lives of those I care about, could go wrong."

Caduceus waited a moment before speaking. "Certainly, but I don't think that was what was on your mind."

"You're altogether too perceptive in every reality, you know that, Mr. Clay?" Essek asked, frustrated as always to be perceived. 

Caduceus's ears only twitched in response. With a sigh, Essek said, "I am becoming increasingly aware of the difference in my own lifespan and Caleb's."

"Ah," Caduceus said, as if he had just unlocked the mysteries of the universe. 

"I am young for a drow, only a little over 120 years old. Caleb is in his mid-30s. As I understand, for a human, that is… approaching middle age. One is no longer considered young by then. In 100 years, Caleb will be—" dead "—gone, and I will still just be Essek."

"Yes, I can imagine that would make you uncomfortable. But why, exactly?" Caduceus asked. 

Essek sputtered. "Because— because I will have to live without him. Because I know who I am with him, and who I am without, and I know which one I prefer. Because—" he loves him "—Because I will miss him. With all my heart. And I will never have done enough, spent enough time with him, done everything I wanted to, with him, in the time we have."

"Have you told him that?" Caduceus asked.

"Not with words," Essek said, grimacing.

"Maybe you should. Use your words, that is. It won't fix it, but maybe it could soothe it," Caduceus said, taking a placid sip. Essek closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall behind him. Caduceus was right, of course, he always was. But it's no simple thing, to break their careful equilibrium. Essek doesn't know that Caleb wants more than what he currently has, doesn't feel like he has the right to push for anything more than what he currently has. Caleb has only ever had the expectations of a human lifetime—if he makes it to 80 years old, Caleb would likely consider that a win. It is unrealistic for Essek to expect him to live his life on Essek’s time, unfair of Essek to ask him to truly live like he is dying. 

It is enough, after all, just to share what precious little time he has in this world.

"You alright?" Caleb asked, from much closer than Essek remembered him being. Essek opened his eyes and looked up at him. He tried to keep his panic from showing on his face. From Caleb's expression he had only mitigated the damage.

"I'm fine," Essek said, "it has simply been a trying few days."

"Indeed it has, schatz," Caleb commiserated, joining Essek on the floor, sides pressing together. Without another word, Caleb took one of Essek's hands in his own, leaning against him. Essek had gathered, based on the commentary of the rest of the Nein, that Caleb used to be a very touch-averse person, hesitating at the very thought. Certainly, weeks of camping with the Nein must have gotten rid of his base-line aversion, but now that Caleb was more comfortable in his own skin he seemed keen on physical touch as a way to comfort. Essek had been on the receiving end of this brand of comfort a number of times now, and every time he tried not to read too deeply into the meaning of it.

The term of endearment was a little harder to explain away. 

Caleb did not speak, nor did he seem to expect Essek to say anything. Sighing deeply, Essek gave in to what Caleb was trying to do and leaned his head onto Caleb's shoulder. The angle took a moment to work out, Essek's arm sliding underneath Caleb's and his cheek pressing against Caleb's shoulder. Though he was not looking at them, he could feel the weight of the gazes of the alternate Beau, Veth, and Caduceus on them. It made him sadder, then, the realization that their Beau and Veth would have taken this moment to make an off-color remark about their closeness; instead, the two of them stared, suspicious. His ear twitched without his bidding as he recognized they were staring at them.

"Don't mind them ," Caleb murmured in Undercommon, " they're just not used to us. It won't be a problem ."

"I'm not worried that they will start something ," Essek responded in the same low tone, " I am feeling… sad, at the lack of good natured heckling ."

"Ah," Caleb said, understanding now. It also wasn't that Essek trusted these alternate versions of their friends—he would have been an idiot to do so, knowing that he hadn't built the same relationship he had with their counterparts—but simply that it made the entire situation feel so unreal and alien.

"I miss them too," Caleb responded after a moment, "but I am glad to have you here with me."

"Even if it makes operating in the Empire much more difficult? Beau would be better suited for this part," Essek said.

"She would immediately cause trouble with her double. The two would kill each other," Caleb said, and his tone was humorous but there was an undercurrent of terror to the sentiment. His own alter self would have killed him without a second thought. Caleb's alternate self had already tried to kill them. This universe was not safe, not for anyone.

"You are right, of course," Essek acquiesced. They sat in silence for a moment, and Essek allowed himself to enjoy it while he could.

Beau, of course, broke the mood.

"The two of you have to know how freaky this is, right?" she asked from her seat on top of the table. She had multiple books open in front of her, and Veth had moved to inspect one of the vases sitting in this room of the Cobalt Soul. Beau’s finger was stuck into a book to mark her spot, as if she had just had the thought while reading.

"You'll have to be more specific," Essek remarked, adjusting his head so the statement was not muffled by Caleb's scarf.

"The two of you," Beau said, using the book in her hand to gesture towards them. "You know, I know Archmage Ermendrud? Real stick in the mud, arrogant and haughty, all the typical wizard shit. And he fucking hates the Dynasty. Has a particular stick up his ass about the Shadowhand."

Across the room, Veth snorted at the unintentional double entendre. Or, perhaps intentional, knowing Beau. 

"And here you two are, cuddling up like you're newlyweds. It'd be one thing if you two just had weird sexual tension, I get that, right? That can be hot," Beau said, then scrunched up her face and continued, "not on you, of course, but I can get it. But the two of you are fond . It's fuckin' weird."

"I can assure you, I felt the same way upon meeting the archmage and realizing he wanted nothing more than to disintegrate me. Or, more accurately, burn me to a crisp," Essek responded.

"It could have easily gone another way," Caleb murmured, under his breath. 

"Alright, no, that's it. What happened in your universe to make you so fucking special? You've made vague references but I want to know what about you changed so intensely that this—" she gestured between the two of them, "could come from the same jackass I know."

"Ah," Caleb said. Essek felt him clench. Essek himself had picked up the pieces of Caleb's history in breadcrumbs, slowly, as Caleb grew more comfortable around him. Even now Caleb wasn't keen to dwell on it, and usually his friends did their best to work around the issue.

He took a deep breath. "I suppose it makes sense, all things considered, that I tell you the story now. After all, the two of you," he gestures at Beau and Veth with his free hand, "were the first people I told in my world."

This prompted a raised eyebrow from Beau, but she thankfully kept her silence. Veth, across the room, began to rejoin the group as it became apparent that information was about to be shared.

"From what I have gathered of the archmage, there is a specific moment at which we diverge. Before it, our histories are the same. Born in Blumenthal, managed to get accepted at Soltryce Academy. Caught the attention of a member of the Assembly. Trent Ikithon," Caleb said, voice steady. Remembering what Caleb had done before, at the Evening Nip, he began to rub his thumb over the back of Caleb's hand. Caleb slipped him a grateful smile before continuing. "Ikithon was…"

Caleb trailed off briefly, and Essek supplied, "a monster."

"Right," Caleb said, coming back to himself. "He ran the vollstrucker program. He picked his candidates from those who excelled at Soltryce. I was one of those. His training was… well, torture, in the literal sense. He tortured us in the name of making us stronger, manipulated us into believing everyone else to be the enemy. We obeyed him, and him alone. His enemies were ours."

"After a time, he, well. I can't read into his intentions but I imagine he wanted to further isolate us. So he manipulated us and our memories into believing that our families were traitors to the Empire. And what we did was put down traitors," Caleb said, pulling in a shaky breath. This was not easy for him, Essek knew, but he was handling the retelling of it as well as he could.

"He made you kill your own parents, then?" Beau asked.

"Ja," Caleb responded. "We were so under his spell we practically leapt at the chance to put them down."

"There were rumors that the fire that killed the archmage's family was arson," Beau commented, almost oblivious to Caleb's struggle. 

Essek remembered hearing that this version of Beau had killed her own father once she had finished with those who had wronged her at the Cobalt Soul. The idea of patricide wasn’t nearly so objectionable to one who had already done the deed, with relish. Inspecting her, he couldn’t see any signs of hesitation; no doubts crossed her mind, at least not where Essek could see.

"A well placed fireball can take out a thatch roof in a matter of seconds," Caleb remarks as if commenting on the weather.

"So you did all that too?" Veth asked.

"That's the point where we diverge," Caleb told her. "We both set the house ablaze. It is my understanding that Archmage Ermendrud then went on to become a full fledged vollstrucker, working directly under Ikithon until he was able to gain enough power and influence to kill Ikithon himself—with the help of Astrid and Wulf, as far as I can tell—and take his place in the Assembly. And, apparently, to continue his work."

"His time as a vollstrucker is murky at best, but the broad strokes are common knowledge among those who care to look," Beau said, “and the three of them have always been tight. Basically in each other’s pockets, as far as I can tell. Becke took over from Derogna, and Grieve is their little shadow, doing what they can’t do in broad daylight.”

"Ja, ja," Caleb said in a distant way, clearly caught thinking about his alternate self. Essek squeezed his hand, bringing him back. "Well, I did not do that. Instead, the reality of what I had done broke me. I tried to put out the flames but Wulf and Astrid held me back. And when I lashed out at them they knocked me out. I was no use to Ikithon like that, so he tossed me into the Vergessen Sanatorium to rot. And I did so, for eleven years. Until one of the other inmates managed to clear me of the fog he had placed me under and I was able to escape. After a time on the run I met Nott, and then, eventually, the rest of the Mighty Nein."

"Huh," Beau said, arms crossed. "So essentially you're him, but with a conscience."

"I suppose," Caleb said, "though had you asked me years ago I would have told you your version was simply stronger than me. I broke when he did not." Essek squeezed his hand again, harder this time. With a sideways glance to Essek, he said, "I no longer believe that."

"And what's your excuse?" she asked, turning to Essek. So far she hadn't directly addressed him much; it wasn't difficult to ascertain why. What she'd said about drow tracked from someone who was only familiar with them from Empire propaganda, but like most things in this universe, it still hurt.

"I never met The Mighty Nein," Essek said, simply.

"That's it?" she asked, unbelieving.

"Like I said before, it's difficult to explain," Essek said with a sideways glance to Caleb. "I spent most of my life isolated and ostracized. I was accustomed to court politics and relationships based on who you knew and quid pro quos alone. When the Mighty Nein exploded into the Bright Queen's court, I volunteered to be their handler out of pure self interest."

"Yeah?" Beau prompted.

"And then they did the unthinkable: they were kind. Maybe not nice, maybe a bit chaotic, but they were weird and friendly and even when they played a prank at my expense I felt I was in on the joke," Essek said, gaze drifting to the side. There were several windows in the room that Caleb had previously covered, but the movement of the sun through the sky meant that some rays were coming through the curtains now. It wasn't pleasant, but it was manageable, and expected, at this point. "When gifted a house by my family as a sign of goodwill—and an easy way to keep tabs on them—they settled in immediately, planting a magic tree on the roof of the house and stringing it through with enchanted lights. In Rosohna. They were everyone's least favorite neighbors."

"Not yours," Caleb said.

"Oh, no, of course not. Not that I would have said at the time. I thought it was infantile and insulting, at first. But it was beautiful, and perfectly represented the Nein," Essek said.

"And you didn't even mention the hot tub," Caleb commented.

"There's a lot I am not mentioning," Essek responded, smiling fondly. Across from him, Beau had crossed her arms, the same sort of reaction she had any time they touched on the friendship of the Nein in their universe.

"What changed?" Caduceus asked.

"I realized I was allowed to care about other people. That other people could care about me," Essek said.

"So you're telling me you were changed by the power of friendship?" Veth asked.

"Well, when you put it like that…" Essek said. 

"We dragged him kicking and screaming into having a conscience," Caleb said, looking over to him. Essek made eye contact and was caught in the shine of Caleb's bright blue eyes. Caleb had managed to pull himself out of his own funk, apparently, thinking about his friends' antics in the Dynasty.

"There wasn't too much kicking and screaming on my part," Essek protested.

"What about when we kidnapped you from that party in Nicodranas?" Caleb asked, as if that night was an easy one to forget. Caleb's tone was light, and Essek knew that the night was mostly a funny anecdote to him now, which was the only thing keeping him from a panic at the reminder.

"I hardly had time to kick or scream that night," Essek said. "It happened much too fast for that."

"You kidnapped the Shadowhand during the middle of a party?" Veth asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Ahah," Caleb said, like this was all very funny to him. "A bit of a long story, that one. We were a bit displeased with him over something—" now wasn't that an understatement "—and had been tailing him throughout the party. We had no intention to do anything—"

"I was disguised, that's important to the story. I was disguised and I didn't realize they knew who I was," Essek interrupted.

"Oh, yes, he was disguised. And we were making him terribly nervous. Veth had decided to turn invisible and follow him around, and when she saw a chance, she poured a potion of paralysis into his drink. Not realizing this, Jester—who'd been talking to him at the time—pulled him out of the party, when I met up with them."

"You put me in manacles," Essek said, beginning to find some humor in the chaos of the sequence of events.

"I put you in the Manacles of Stasis," Caleb agreed, and Beau's eyebrows rose in confusion and interest, "which failed to put you to sleep because you're an elf and immune to sleep spells, of course."

"So I tried to get away by misty stepping out of your grasp," Essek continued.

"Only for Caduceus to cast command and order you to come with us," Caleb finished, "and we took you to the Ball Eater."

"Took him to the what ," Beau asked. Essek noted that her demeanor had dropped, a little, as if she was actually interested in the story. As if she had let her guard down just a touch.

"The Ball Eater, it was our first ship. Well, Fjord's first ship, though we all kinda stole it. Unintentionally. The name was not his idea, but you can't really deny Jester once she puts her mind to something," Caleb commented.

"And what was the alternate version of me doing during all of this? I can’t imagine I wouldn’t want a piece of this," Beau asked, incredulous. 

"Tripping balls," Caleb said.

"What," Beau said.

"Caduceus cast True Sight on you earlier in the party and apparently the ballroom was just filled with weird stuff. He also didn't warn you he was casting it so you weren't prepared at all," Caleb told her, "Fjord was with you, at least. Acting as your handler."

"Are you always like that?" Caduceus asked. He didn't need to specify what he meant.

"We are, yes," Caleb said. 

Essek’s concentration was briefly interrupted by the sound of Jester’s voice, filling the inside of his head.

HEEEEY, ESSEK! IT’S BEEN A WHILE SO I TRIED TO SEND A MESSAGE TO CALEB BUT IT FAILED, WHAT’S THAT ABOUT? ARE YOU OKAY?

There was a brief pause, and Essek could almost picture the way Fjord was holding up the single finger in front of Jester, telling her she had one more word left in her message. 

Just as the spell was about to fizzle, Jester yelped out a final word.

DICKS!

Essek found himself laughing, as he usually did at Jester’s sendings, and wondered yet again whether the laughter counted as a word. He didn’t think it did, but he couldn’t be sure.

The rest of their group was now staring at him due to his outburst.

“What—” Beau started to say, but Essek held up a hand to stop her.

"It’s good to hear from you, Jester. Caleb and I are dealing with weird magic right now, but we’re both perfectly safe, at the moment ,” Essek spoke into the remaining energy of the spell. 

“So, I suppose Sending works across realities?” Caleb asked once he knew Essek had finished his response.

“Apparently she tried to Send to you first, but the spell failed,” Essek commented, “so it seems that perhaps the spell treats this reality the same as it would another plane.”

“With some chance of failure,” Caleb supplied, unnecessary for the two of them, but perhaps helpful for their current companions.

“And you didn’t tell her you’re in trouble?” Beau asked, arms crossed, “I would have thought you’d want to depend on your friends if you could.”

“We are,” Caleb responded, even as Essek said, “I am not sure it would be safe for them to attempt it.”

“Why’s that?” Veth asked.

“Our suspicion, currently, is that something we did in our reality upset the balance of magical energy contained there, and that’s what resulted in us being pulled into this reality,” Essek explained, “specifically, the destruction of an artifact containing a great deal of potential, the non-existence of which could cause some uncertainties in our reality.”

“That lead to our duplicates’ spells treating us as failed realities, even though we are not,” Caleb continued, “so while it is likely that we are the only ones who would be susceptible the specific magic we fell prey to, we can’t be certain that they wouldn’t get into some other trouble, or that our departure might not have unsettled some other balance.”

“Ugh, magic mumbo-jumbo,” Beau groaned in response to their explanation. Despite her apparent disinterest, Essek knew Beau was more than smart enough to at least follow the contours of their explanation. Beau depended in large part on people underestimating her intellect and general prowess, and didn’t seem to know how to turn it off, even when interacting with allies.

Jester’s voice interrupted his thoughts again, and this time her voice carried some amount of legitimate worry.

I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE CAPABLE BUT PLEASE BE CAREFUL. YOU DON’T HAVE ANY CLERICS WITH YOU AND YOU’RE BOTH SO SQUISHY. 

There was another beat, as if Jester had gotten distracted by something, and then, in a much more chipper tone, she said,

FJORD SAYS HI!

“We are taking every possible precaution ,” Essek told her, “ We will see you again soon, we promise. ” 

Essek glanced over at Caleb. “Fourteen,” Caleb supplied, though that wasn’t quite what Essek was looking for.

“We miss you very much. Tell Fjord to avoid lesser deities and also turtles ,” Essek finished out the message, feeling the effect of the spell dissipate. 

There was a brief silence before Beau said, “got any more of those incoming?”

“Not likely, as it seems that Jester has already expended three Sending spells on communicating with us and the conversation seems to be at a close,” Essek told her, “she is just worried about us and wanted to tell us to be safe. And also that Fjord says hi.”

“She needs to save those in case they get attacked,” Caleb explained, “assuming the day-night cycles are the same between realities, it isn’t even the end of the day and she’s already down at least three spells.”

“Why weren’t they with you when you got pulling into our universe, if they’re such good friends?” Veth asked.

“We had all split up in order to accomplish what we wanted to,” Caleb said, “Essek and I wanted to explore Aeor, but Fjord missed the sea and Jester followed.”

“And the rest?” Beau asked.

“Veth and Caduceus wanted to stay with their families, Beau wanted to clean up the Cobalt Soul, and Yasha stayed with Beau. Oh, and Kingsley followed Fjord and Jester for lack of something better to do, though from what I last heard I believe he may have disappeared to Darktow,” Caleb ticked through the rest of their friends.

“Kingsley is the name Lucien is using now,” Essek clarified.

"None of this has anything to do with our plans going forward," Veth said, "which we should probably figure out." While Beau had slipped out of her guarded stance, Veth had shifted into one of her own, as if discomforted by the familiarity of their talk, of the fondness with which they regarded the participants.

"Well, based on the locations we have, I'd say Nicodranas is our next stop. The Sapphire is the only member of this group we have a definite location for, so we should probably hit her up next," Beau said, business-like again. This Beau could be difficult to read, but Essek was familiar enough with their Beau to tell that she seemed off balance by the previous conversation. He wondered if perhaps what was true of him, in his world, might be true for her. She had never been shown trust or friendship, and the idea that there was another world where she could just… have that? Probably disconcerted her.

"That sounds like a fair assessment," Caleb agreed. "Essek or I could handle the teleportation, though our plans do depend on if we use a circle or not."

"We won't be able to use Yussa's circle, so we'll need to teleport properly," Essek remarked.

"You're right, I had forgotten," Caleb said. Essek raised an eyebrow at that; Caleb didn't forget.

"You wanted to pop in anyway, didn't you?" Essek asked.

"It's a bad idea, I know," Caleb said, looking chastised, "but Yussa might be the same in this reality as ours. He keeps himself aloof from the world."

"And yet, you have not built a friendship with him in this one, so he will not take kindly to you asserting one," Essek said.

Caleb let out a breath. "We can teleport onto the beach outside the city. That will be safest."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Veth asked, tapping her foot exaggeratedly. "Let's go!"

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

"I don't get why this bitch has such a long wait for an appointment. She doesn't even sleep with you!" Veth complained, laying morosely on the sole bed in the room, limbs spread eagle'd across the bed. 

"Not usually," Beau said, arms crossed and leaning on the wall next to the bed, "but sometimes she takes to people."

"What, have you fucked her?" Veth asked.

Beau snorted. "Never met her, all I know is what people say."

"Would you, though?" Veth looked at her with a little wiggle of her eyebrows.

"Of course I would you little freak, next question," Beau said, halfheartedly tossing a dart at her. Veth easily dodged it, but even Beau's casual toss resulted in the dart being embedded in the wall behind her.

"Do you even know what she looks like?" Veth asked, completely unconcerned with the dart behind her head.

"She's a plump little blue tiefling with laughter like crashing waves and a wicked sense of humor, what more do I need to know?" Beau asked. Caleb raised an eyebrow at the specificity of the description, remembering suddenly that his Beau had briefly been interested in Jester.

"How likely is it that she kills you in your sleep?" Veth asked.

"Ah, she doesn't usually kill people. Usually it's something much worse, but that's only for people she truly despises," Beau said.

"What do you consider worse than death?" Caduceus asked, interceding for the first time in the conversation. This question seemed a bit more philosophical than the rest of the conversation, but Beau focused intensely on Caduceus nonetheless.

"Ah, well, depends on what rumors you believe. There are whispers her deity can cause people to lose their minds or forget who they are," Beau responded, "but you should never believe everything you hear."

"Technically, that's not really true, though I can see why people would think that," Caleb offered, not looking up from his spellbook, open in front of him on the desk. There was a long pause, followed by shuffling behind him. Beau placed herself on the wall next to the desk he was using, in his peripheral vision.

"What more do you know about our little Sapphire?" Beau asked.

"A lot of what you've said so far is basically true, in broad strokes, though Artagan is both more and less powerful than the stories usually let on," Caleb said, looking up at her. "Artagan is The Traveler, her deity."

"You're on a first name basis with her god, I see," Beau said.

"Unfortunately," Caleb commented.

"Unfortunately?" Veth prompted.

"He's a complicated guy, that's all. He's an archfey who decided to take a spin at being a god but then hated it. Based on what I've gathered about this universe, several years ago he decided he was tired of being a god and dumped a bunch of his followers on a volcano in the Lucidian Ocean, to have their memories erased by the creature that resided on the island. Jester helped," Caleb said, "and then she left, knowing what would happen to them."

"And you know this how exactly?" Beau asked, pulling out her notebook and frantically adding notes.

"Because he tried to get her to do it in our universe, but it went down differently," he told her.

"Let me guess, because she met The Mighty Nein," Veth said with a sarcastic flourish on "Mighty Nein."

"Well, ja," Caleb said, "because we were with her, and she had a bit of a conscience, we took out the creature who had set himself up as a god on the island and managed to remind everyone else of who they were before he stole their memories. Then we tried to offload the followers of The Traveler onto the Moonweaver, which only worked due to Jester's force of personality and, surprisingly, how much Artagan cared about her."

"Your stories are so batshit I would assume you were making it up, and yet I have a hard time imagining you're that creative," Beau responded after taking a moment to process the story.

"Thanks," Caleb responded drily.

"It would be worse if he went into detail," Essek commented from his spot next to Caleb. The two of them were jammed onto a bench that was likely only meant to fit one person, but worked due in part to Essek's small stature but mostly because of their shared willingness to be in the other's space. Essek, too, was reviewing his spellbook; their hands lay inches apart on the desk in between their spellbooks. 

"Yeah, that I believe," Beau said, "and for the record, I do want more detail eventually."

"Of course you do," Caleb said with a little smile. 

"Eugh, stop that," Beau said, moving away from Caleb.

"Stop what?" Caleb asked, eyes tracking her across the room

"Acting like you know me," Beau said, "acting fond."

"It's not my fault you grow on people," Caleb said.

"I don't," she countered, "maybe the sappy piece of shit you know does, but I don't."

"Same person," Caleb said with the exact same inflection he'd once heard Beau say "same dick!" Somehow, something that usually made him smile brought his entire mood back down.

"You've got that look again," Veth told him, hanging upside down off the side of the bed. Her skirt flopped over her head as she did so, but prompted no response from anyone in the room—Caleb and Essek were both used to it by now, Beau clearly recognized this as Veth's latest effort to unsettle her, and Caduceus was impervious to caring about such things. Beau had a good poker face when she cared to try, and so far Veth hadn't managed to unsettle her. Not for lack of trying, of course.

"It's nothing. I just reminded myself of something," Caleb said, "an inside joke I doubt you'd appreciate, even if I had the time to explain it." Caleb felt Essek's hand on his shoulder and allowed himself to appreciate the fact even if this entire world was topsy-turvy, at least he had Essek by his side.

"We can't wait the amount of time we'd need for an appointment, so it looks like we're sneaking in," Essek said, bringing the conversation back around. His hand softly massaged Caleb's shoulder, and Caleb felt his eyes flicker shut briefly, almost involuntarily.

"So, whatcha got?" Beau asked, "you're the ones who know her, you're best equipped to entice her into a meeting.

"There's always sneaking in," Veth said with a shrug. 

"Ja, there is always sneaking in," Caleb agreed, "an appeal to Artagan might also work."

"Her deity," Beau responded, flatly.

"He's much more involved in her life than a common deity," Essek commented.

"I've had drinks with him," Caleb responded with a cringe, "never try to match drinks with a demigod, that's all I'll say."

"Uh-huh," Beau nodded, still a little disbelieving.

"It's possible he realizes the truth of what we're saying and backs us up to Jester. If Artagan approves, it's very likely Jester does," Caleb said.

"And how do we appeal to this Artagan?" Caduceus asked, "I get the feeling it isn't like speaking with the Wildmother."

"Your intuition is solid, as always," Caleb responded.

"Any thoughts?" Essek asked him.

Caleb hummed. "Only dumb ones."

"Well, share with the class," Veth said.

"Mostly, I just thought about graffiti'ing the Chateau in dicks," Caleb said with a shrug, "that's how she usually summons him, though as I don't have the same relationship with her I can't really say it would work the same for me. I'm also, historically, very bad at determining the correct amount of dicks."

Beau, Veth, and Caduceus all looked at him curiously. 

"He really is," Essek added, prompting a huff of laughter from Caleb.

"This is some sort of gross euphemism, isn't it," Veth commented, narrowing her eyes at the two of them.

"Surprisingly, no, though it is an inside joke," Caleb responded, staring down at the wood grain of the desk. That's twice now in one conversation that a joke has made him morose; here's hoping it's the last.

"So, dicks on the Chateau, sounds a bit juvenile," Beau said, "but ultimately, you know her better than I."

"It might be better if you use magic. Minor Image? Major Image? Perhaps Programmed Image? It depends on what we want to accomplish," Caleb said.

"We'll need to draw Jester's attention but not her ire," Essek said, "if we want her help."

"Hence the use of magic instead of paint that would need to be cleaned. It's hard to say; I know how to get under Jester's skin, but I don't know this Jester. I don't know what she would consider good natured," Caleb commented.

"My understanding is that the Sapphire has a wicked streak," Beau said, "leaving her suitors naked in the streets, abandoning them alone on top of the Wildmother's lighthouse. Among other things."

"And people go to her willingly?" Veth asked, incredulously.

"It's said that she's very alluring," Beau said with a shrug, "and I've always assumed there's an element of bdsm involved, at least on the part of her suitors."

"Must be some fuckin’ tiefling," Veth commented.

"Look, I don't know what we're doing here but we should just do it. Talking it to death won't make the plan any better," Beau said, an eye on the two wizards.

"Heard, ja," Caleb commented, "we'll get to work on it."

"Yes, of course," Essek agreed, "we should simply fine tune this idea. It won't take too much time. Caleb and I can get it figured out."

"See to it," Beau said, and it was a dismissal. She exited their room and began clomping downstairs, likely to make use of the tavern.

"Call if you need any help," Caduceus said, also exiting the room, "I'm happy to oblige."

"Thank you, Caduceus," Essek murmured, head already bent over the desk in consideration. Caleb echoed the response. 

[Essek]

Essek found it hard not to think during the four hours of rest that Caleb needed but he did not. This was always the case, of course. Normally he would read, either one of the newly acquired books from the depths of Aeor, or one of the many books that lined Caleb's spectral library. Unfortunately, they currently had neither, with their stash of books still located in their reality and Caleb having so far abstained from casting the tower while in this reality, both out of worry over the rest of their troupe as well as over the extra-planar nature of the tower and how it might interact with their current altered reality. Essek imagined they would eventually cave, especially if they intended to go back to Aeor, but for now they played it safe, sleeping in rented rooms with illusions in place for their own safety.

Caleb had, so far, always insisted on Essek staying in the bed with him. Despite Essek's protests that he didn't need a bed to trance, Caleb had argued it was the most dubiously comfortable part of the room, and he'd hate for Essek to sit on the hard bench for the hours he was awake.

In practice, this meant Essek sitting upright with legs crossed in the bed, trancing for the first four hours of night and then coming out of it to a heavy arm draped over his lap and around his waist, Caleb's nose pressed firmly into his side, the other arm curled neatly in the space between them. As always, Essek tried, then failed, to resist running his hands through Caleb's hair, released from its half-up-do that he had been keeping it in recently.

Waiting for sunrise, when they would put their plan to meet Jester in motion, this night was no different. Essek took comfort in the fact that this was, at least, nothing new. This routine had existed for some time and remained so, even in this strange reality.

Caleb mumbled something in his sleep, nonsensical enough to be unrecognizable as either Common or Zemnian—or Undercommon, which Essek had occasionally heard from him more recently, ever since Caleb had taken up the language. He halted his ministrations briefly, but upon making certain that Caleb was not about to wake up, he began to run his hand through Caleb's hair gently.

In the dark, with the light of Catha shining through the crack in the curtains, Essek could easily make out some of the offensive gray hairs in Caleb's otherwise bright red hair. There were not many, though eagle-eyed as Beau was it was no surprise she had noticed them immediately. Perhaps it was wishful thinking that ensured Essek did not notice the signs of aging on the human. Normally, Essek was well attuned to changes in Caleb. And yet, the gray hairs had prompted little to no response from Caleb.

Essek had always known his time with Caleb was short, but he did not appreciate the reminder. 

He and Caleb had made it out of a number of scrapes together so far, and they would figure out how to get back to their reality. Stroking some of the gray hairs, Essek was suddenly struck by how there were some issues they could not fight. Essek knew Caleb had no desire to change the nature of reality—not anymore, at least—and Essek had no desire to change Caleb. Not beautiful, brilliant Caleb, who had shown him who he could be, who they could be together. Not-Caduceus was right; Essek needed to stop wasting time, wondering when would be the right moment or worrying what Caleb would think, worrying about pushing too far. Essek wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, however Caleb would allow it, and wanted to stop wasting time debating the matter.

Caleb snorted something else unintelligible in his sleep, prompting a smile from Essek. Caleb shifted somehow closer, his legs curling up to bracket Essek's own. 

Well aware of the fallibility of his own memory, Essek dedicated himself to committing the moment to memory.

[Caleb]

"I admit, it has been a long time someone has called for me specifically," the red haired archfey said with a thoughtful glance across their troupe.

"I'm not sure if I miss it,” he added.

"If it makes you feel better, we actually want to speak to Jester, but we figured getting your attention was a good way to get her's," Caleb responded, standing upright in the alley running alongside the Chateau. Essek stood immediately to his right, arms touching, though he wore his normal dark-skinned elf illusion. Beau stood somewhere behind him and to the left, likely leaning against the wall. Veth was currently attempting to hide—Caleb didn't know where she was, but he didn't know if that would extend to Artagan. Caduceus leaned gently onto his staff, appearing disconnected though Caleb knew he was likely noticing more than anyone else here, save perhaps Artagan.

"I'm hurt," Artagan said, "that apparently my little Sapphire is in more demand than myself, a deity."

"You're a demigod at best and I would have thought you'd be happy at Jester's success," Caleb responded casually. He could almost hear Beau's lifted eyebrow behind him, even as Artagan's smile grew wide and somewhat predatory.

"You're awful familiar for a stranger," Artagan responded, beginning to circle him. Caleb made no attempt to move, and he felt a similar resolve from Essek beside him. "And yet, there is something decidedly familiar about you."

Caleb had rarely seen Artagan's truly fey nature aside from his general lack of mortal morality, but now, without the benefit of Jester's friendship, he was getting to see it first hand.

"I know you, or at least another version of you," Caleb said, and Artagan leaned forward, only feet away, and looked into Caleb's eyes. There was a flicker of recognition, a twist of light, and Artagan's smile grew.

"Indeed, it seems we may know each other somewhere," Artagan noted, maintaining eye contact. Caleb did his best not to balk at the intensity of his gaze. "And yet, you're smart enough to know that I am not him."

"Ja, I know that," Caleb commented casually, "but I was hoping that recognition would pique your interest enough to get us in front of Jester. We would like to find our way back to our reality sooner rather than later, so we really can't dilly dally."

At that, Artagan shifted his focus to Essek.

"Surely this glamor is not for me," Artagan asked, his hand making contact with Essek's chest through the illusion. Though Essek's disguise was as close to his own form as was safe, the connection between the two caused the illusion to flicker, slightly.

"It is not," Essek responded, calmly grabbing Artagan's wrist and removing his hand. For a moment Caleb could see Essek as the former Shadowhand that he was, his gaze harsh and unyielding. "You may be apart from this world, but you are not an idiot. You know that a drow cannot simply walk the streets of Nicodranas."

"Certainly not if that drow was the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen," Artagan responded.

"Certainly not," Essek agreed.

There was a beat, and Caleb recognized it as a pivotal moment. Artagan was deciding whether he was interested in following this thread, whether their story intrigued him enough. His gaze flickered between Caleb and Essek, then back to the other members of their group.

Then his gaze softened. It still had the manner and form of the fey, but it was softer, fonder.

"She does not have any friends," Artagan said, voice softer. "It is only me. I can only do so much, archfey that I am. I feel as though I have failed her, somehow."

Caleb let the moment happen, and hoped the others had the sense to remain silent as well.

"That's not the case where you're from, though," Artagan commented, like it was a thing he already knew and not a question to ask, "you aren't coming to her as grateful patrons."

"No," Caleb responded, tone matching that of Artagan.

"Certainly not," Essek echoed him.

"And she has friends, where you're from?" Artagan asked.

"Jester makes friends everywhere she goes. She befriended all of us the day we met, inspired us to stick together for well past when many of us thought we would cut and run. She even convinced the Shadowhand of the Bright Queen to hug her the day we met her!" Caleb said with a huff of laughter, and beside him he saw Essek quirk a smile at the memory. He continued, "She became pen pals with a hag—though we imagine the hag plans to kill her some day, the fact remains that Jester sent her cupcakes and messages—and she has touched so many lives,"

"Jester is the first friend I think I ever truly made," Essek said, "and I love her dearly."

"And she loves you, as well," Caleb said, directing the comment to Artagan, "you are her first, her oldest friend, and she treasures you dearly."

"No need for flattery, my dear," Artagan responded confidently, but his voice sounded rough, like the merest idea of what they were suggesting was making him feel something.

"I wouldn't dream of it," Caleb responded.

"Well," Artagan commented, pulling himself back up to his full height, "Jester is an adult capable of making her own decisions. You have made a case for me to bring you to her, and so I shall. What she does with you is up to her."

"That's all we could ask," Caleb told him.

"Well then, come here. I've already told her that I'd bring you up, so let's get on with it," Artagan said, gesturing for them to approach. Caleb and Essek approached readily, while the other three were slightly slower to approach the archfey. A predatory smile in Beau's direction was accompanied with a snap of the fingers and the group was thrust into a lavishly appointed room with a balcony bed, covered in art of various styles and levels of effort. 

"Arty!" came a voice from the bed, accompanied by a clap, "I see you've brought them. I admit, I'm extremely curious to see what they want, no one's ever tried to talk to me through you before."

Looking toward the familiar voice, Caleb saw Jester, looking much the same as he remembered, though slightly younger than he would expect—she never would have lost those years in Aeor, would she? She had arrayed herself neatly on the bed, wearing what Caleb assumed was a cross between flirty and professional dress, pastel pink and slipping off one shoulder. To his left he noted that Beau seemed to approve of the look, while to his right he noticed that Essek's illusion was no longer up. Essek was inspecting his hands, as if trying to determine what had happened, before making eye contact with Artagan, who was smiling wide in his direction. 

"I take it Artagan hasn't explained any of why we are here?" Caleb asked, taking a step forward.

"He has implied that there's some magical funny business involved and that it is all 'quite irregular,'" she said, ending her comment with a passable, if silly, impression of Artagan, "so now's the time to spill."

"Of course," Caleb responded, Jester's tone almost tricking him into believing this was his Jester. "Due to some 'magical funny business,' myself and my friend here," he placed his hand on Essek's back as he referenced him, "have become stranded in a reality that is not like our own."

"And this concerns me how?" Jester asked, grinning toothishly.

"Because, while you do not know the versions of us native to this universe, you—or the version of you that we know—are our friend," Caleb told her.

"Of course I know who you are, Archmage" Jester said, kicking her legs in an exaggerated motion, as if attempting to play up her air of naivete, "do you think I'm just some 'silly littol girl'?"

Caleb quirked an eyebrow. It made sense that this Jester was more guarded, more vindictive, but it still felt wrong to have it directed towards him. It caught him off guard. 

Thankfully, Essek was not a stranger to this version of Jester. "Of course you know who they are," he said, "but I take it you're not on familiar terms with them."

"Definitely not," Jester said, "why would I want to be friends with a stinky old wizard like him?" She gestured at Caleb as she said so, casual and a little too self-aware as she did. It didn't pass Caleb's notice that "stinky" was one of the first adjectives his Jester had ever used to describe him. He charged ahead, desperately trying to avoid the whiplash of the moment.

"I certainly wondered that a fair few times when we first started traveling together. I was so put off by how flippant you were about everything," Caleb told her, and Essek leveled a curious look his way. Presumably, he didn't realize how much Jester had initially rubbed him the wrong way, nor would he have any reason to. "But you were a friend to everyone you met. Everywhere we traveled people fell in love with you, your personality was so infectious. People almost didn't even mind when you played pranks on them."

Jester's grin slipped a bit.

"Of course they did," she told him, "I'm the Sapphire of the South, a delight and a pleasure!"

"Jester, it's not just that. I read silly little smut novels because you told me to. We bought smut for me in Zadash and you nearly adopted an orphan kenku in Hupperdook. We cried together at our friend's grave and you were probably the first person to touch Essek in fifty years because you insisted on hugging him the day we met. You tricked a hag to remove the curse from our friend here, and then you sent the hag cupcakes! You died trying to save the world with us, and when Caduceus brought you back to life you turned around and saved me as well.  You had friends, have friends, in our world. It's not you, not quite, but it could have been you and it could still be you if you wanted," Caleb said, insistently. As he spoke he noticed the sharpness drain from Jester's face until he could really see the lonely young woman in front of him, clutching the sheets of the bed next to her. "My spellbook is filled with your little doodles—wizards don't let people casually rifle through their spellbooks!" Caleb said as he pulled out his spellbook to illustrate his point. He flipped to a random page, finding the instructions for the polymorph spell. Along the margins Jester had added little turtles, a couple of eagles in orange and blue, and a little ape wearing Caleb's coat and scarf. He held it so that Jester could see the doodles along the side. She blinked, several times in rapid succession, as she looked at the drawings on the page.

"You really mean it," she said, sniffling, "you—you really care about her."

"I do," Caleb said, "and the two of you are the same. You've got different bumps and bruises, but at the core, you're the same." Jester remained silent, staring at him and the spellbook he still held open for her to see. Caleb could see the tell-tale wobble of her lower lip, her hands fisting into the sheets next to her 

"I—" Essek started to say something, faltered, then gathered his resolve and picked it back up, "I am not as good at speaking as Caleb is, but I need you to know how important you are—the other you, yes, but you—are to me. You were my first friend, the first person to try to befriend me for no other reason than that you wanted to, and I care dearly for you."

The sniffling got louder and Caleb could tell she was trying not to cry. Looking askance to the rest of the group, where Beau was standing, arms crossed but some sort of guarded interest on her face, Artagan looking gently at Jester, as gently as a fey being can look, Caleb looked back at Jester. He took a tentative step forward, waiting to see if someone, anyone, would tell him to stop. Eventually he came even with the bed and sat down next to her.

"You don't have to be lonely," Caleb said, "you have a gravity that pulls people to you. You just have to let them in."

"What if they hurt me?" Jester asked him, not looking at him.

"They will," Caleb said, gently, "but it will be worth it. And if it isn't, and they do hurt you, well. I have seen you in battle. You can certainly deal with what trouble may come."

She sniffled a few more times and Caleb tentatively held out his arms for a hug. She looked at him, blinking multiple times through tears and confusion, before falling bodily into his arms and wrapping her arms around him in a tight squeeze. The force surprised and knocked the air out of him, and one of her horns scratched across his face as she fell into him. He gently rubbed his hand across her back and looked over to the rest of the group. Essek had a hand over his mouth, poorly hiding a smile, while Beau and Veth both looked like they didn't know what to make of it. Caduceus in the back was also giving him a wide smile, which was nice, for once.

Jester sat back up after a moment had passed and looked into his face before immediately laughing.

"I cut you," she said, swiping a finger across his cheekbone where her horn had impacted his face.

"It's my thin wizard skin, it can't take a beating," he responded.

This startled another laugh out of her. "Maybe you're not that bad, stinky wizard," she said, then looking at Essek she said, "Nor you, Mr. Hot Boi."

At that, Essek bit his lip so hard it started bleeding.

"What did I say?" Jester asked as Caleb started laughing in earnest.

"You—she—" Caleb tried to say, but was too busy laughing.

"You call me that in our universe, too," Essek said, holding a finger over his bleeding lip. He looked conflicted, like he didn't know whether he should be laughing or crying over the realization.

"And you thought you could escape it," Caleb said through laughter.

"Never," Essek said, "you will all haunt me for the rest of my days." He was smiling, though, unguardedly this time.

"So," Beau said, butting in for the first time in a while, "where are we now? Where does all this get us?"

Jester focused in on Beau, and Caleb watched Beau squirm under her gaze. While Jester wasn't quite as observant as Caduceus or even Caleb and Beau, her gaze could be a lot, and she saw much more than she let on, and Beau could probably tell, now.

"And what is your role in all this, High Curator?" Jester asked, her voice predatory again, though now raw from the fresh tears.

"Apparently, the other me was friends with them as well. I'm just fact finding, at this point," Beau responded with a smirk.

Jester returned the smile. "Anything to learn more about the darling Sapphire of the South, right?"

"Darling isn't one of the more common descriptors I've heard," Beau said, holding her finger to her chin in mock thoughtfulness, "though you could certainly make a case for it if you like."

Jester popped up from the bed, taking a few quick strides across the room to grab Beau's chin and direct it down towards her. Beau was visibly surprised at the motion, and didn't react aside to gape.

"You're fun," Jester said with a toothy grin, her tail swishing behind her playfully like a cat about to pounce. "I think I'd like to figure out your deal."

"Ah, yes," Beau said, full of wit, "you're welcome to tag along and get to know me. Just let me know if I'm too much to handle."

"Oh, I'll let you know," Jester said, not balking, "and you'll do the same for me, right?"

Beau's face was quickly acquiring a dark flush that Jester certainly must have clocked; behind her, Caduceus, who couldn't even see her face, seemed to have noticed the shift in the conversation as well.  Glancing at Essek, Caleb noted that Essek was already looking his way. Essek tilted his head as if in question, but Caleb couldn't imagine what he might be asking at the moment. 

"Definitely, yeah, I'll do that," Beau said, stepping back out of Jester's grasp. Jester let her go, not holding on forcefully enough to restrain her truly. Jester turned to more properly face Caleb with a little clap of her hands.

"Okay!" she said, "what do you want from me?"

[Essek]

"Fjord actually won't be that hard to track down, but I don't think you'll have much luck convincing him to join you," Jester said from her perch on her bed, twisting a paintbrush through her fingers as she spoke. "I've tried several times to get him to meet with me, but he's so devoted to his captain it's a little sickening."

"Fjord isn't the captain?" Caleb asked. He and Essek were pressed together on cushions on the floor, a low table in front of them with papers spread all across in addition to both of their spellbooks. Some of the papers contained Beau's notes, but many more contained Jester's art, from both before and after they had met up. Across the table, Beau had not stopped scrawling out notes while Jester talked, Jester being both surprisingly well connected and extremely willing to gossip when given the chance.

Jester laughed and said, "of course not, he could never part from Ms. Avantika. I honestly don't know what he sees in her, she's just so creepy and weird."

"Avantika?" Caleb echoed, and Essek noted the recognition. The name was familiar, though he had never met her, from the stories the Nein had told in typical piecemeal fashion. Caleb had only told him the full story recently, during their travels in Aeor, as he had previously said it wasn't his story to tell. Essek knew that Caleb wasn't her biggest fan, but he also knew that their version of Jester hated her with a burning passion and had spent a not insignificant amount of time extolling how terrible she was. Yet again, similarities rang through their universes, as different as they were.

"Are you familiar with her?" Beau asked, ever eager to follow a lead.

"Ja," Caleb said with a shrug, "though I did not know her for long."

"What happened to her in your universe?" Veth asked from her spot across the room, on her back with her legs up against the wall. She had apparently tired of rummaging through Jester's property while she wasn't looking.

"Plank King killed her," Caleb said, "And then her patron brought her back to life and she tried to kill us again. Twice."

"Kill you again?" Beau asked at the same time Jester said, "brought her back to life?"

"She tried to kill us once while alive, twice while undead," Caleb said, "she and her patron did not take kindly on Fjord turning his back on his gifts."

"So he does have a patron," Jester said thoughtfully, "it was always rumored, but most people are too scared to ask."

"So the rest of you were just collateral damage?" Beau asked.

"I mean, she definitely did not like any of us much, and I doubt she liked it when I set her ship on fire or we turned her secret notes over to the Plank King, but it was definitely Fjord she was after," Caleb said. Essek did not chime in that technically, it was his understanding that it was actually what Fjord carried that intrigued both Avantika and Uk'otoa, largely because he imagined Caleb was playing fast and loose with the details on purpose.

"Did you do anything to piss her off?" Beau asked Essek, bringing him back into the conversation.

"No, I never met her, either alive or dead," Essek said, "though I imagine she would have treated me much the same as the rest of the Nein had we ever met."

"Avantika died before we met Essek, and then she only attacked us while we were on the ocean, somewhere we continued to be well after making that connection because we are all very silly," Caleb explained. 

"What did you think about her when she was alive?" Jester asked, leaning forward with interest.

"That she was blatantly manipulative and too ambitious for her own good, but her charisma somehow managed to carry her through most things," Caleb told her.

"Did you think she was hot?" Jester asked, grinning wide like she thought this question would catch him off guard. Perhaps it would have if this was his first conversation with a Jester, but it certainly didn't seem to now.

"Hmm," Caleb hummed in thought, "I suppose she was attractive, ja, in an obviously predatory way. You could tell immediately that she was plotting something, which wasn't as off-putting as it should have been."

"You seem to have a type," Beau responded without looking up.

This managed to get a response from Caleb in the form of a dusting of red across his cheekbones. He let out an awkward laugh and said "Ja, well, what can you do about that?"

"You know, you really do have a type, I mean, you could have just described Mr. Shadowhand here," Veth said, not even looking their way.

A sideways glance told Essek that the flush was becoming more noticeable, spreading to his ears and likely the back of his neck, though he could not confirm due to the way Caleb's hair curled down to his shoulders. "Like I said, what can you do about that?" Caleb said.

"Oh!" Jester said, as if she had just had a realization, "so the two of you are a thing! It's hard to tell because like, the versions of you from this reality really wanna kill each other but the two of you seemed very close."

Essek coughed. "It is, uh, complicated, Jester," he told her. 

She made a face like she was sucking a lemon. "What's so complicated about it? You're nearly sitting in his lap right this very moment."

Now it was Essek's turn to flush, though he resolutely did not shift away from Caleb at the comment. He was not, of course, sitting in Caleb's lap, though they were pressed right up alongside each other on the cushions. Caleb shifted next to him, but did not pull away.

"You have a fair point, as always, Jester," Essek said.

"It's funny," Caleb said, lightly, "I once told our Jester the same thing."

"Told her what?" Essek asked, turning to face him. Caleb was smiling gently, which was an improvement—he had been frowning a lot since they'd been unceremoniously dumped into this universe.

"Back on our first trip into Aeor, when we were in the room with the beads of dunamis energy. She asked me if you were coming onto me and I told her it was complicated," Caleb told him.

"I don't remember hearing you say that," Essek responded, thinking back. Certainly he hadn't been next to Caleb the entire time they were in that room, but they were near each other for much of it. He even thought he remembered the conversation Caleb mentioned, because he remembered being hyper aware of the silence following the question, trying desperately not to get in his own head over-analyzing the interaction. He hadn't been certain of how he stood with the Nein, at the time, and the thought that they were all well aware of his affection for Caleb made him even more unsettled about his position in the group.

Caleb tapped his temple in response. "I thought it to her," he said, "it felt like you wouldn't want to hear it."

"Ah, yes. I think I remember extricating myself soon after she asked that because it felt private," Essek said, skirting the issue.

"Nothing is private with the Nein," Caleb said, thoughtfully, leaning back on the cushion.

"Anyway," Beau said, harshly, the same tone she used every time the two of them got to sound too fond over their missing friends, "how do we find Fjord, Sapphire?"

"Please, call me Jester," she said with a little wink at the monk, which she handled a little more smoothly than Jester's earlier flirting. Essek only noted a clenching of her pen, and improvement from her earlier flush. "And don't you worry, I know all about his favorite tavern down by the docks. He's due back in a few days, though he's only in town for the night."

"So we’ll approach him at the tavern," Beau said.

"Yes, but we'll have to be delicate. If you insist on trying to get him to come it's best to be careful. Avantika is possessive, and likely won't take kindly to you trying to poach her man," Jester said.

"Eugh," Beau said, as if by rote. Jester gave a little giggle.

"Leaving aside Avantika, Fjord isn't a big fan of being on land. His interest in the sea, and his own self-interest, whatever that may be. Your silver-tongue may have won over the rest of us, but he won't be so easily convinced," Jester elaborated.

"So noted," Caleb said, "I had figured we might not be able to convince everyone."

"You're trying to get the whole gang back together, right? Minus your own alternate selves, of course," Jester asked.

"Ja," Caleb said, softly, as if in memory of the Nein, "but I've already written off one."

"Who?" Beau asked, suddenly curious again.

"Molly, or I suppose he'd be Lucien here," Caleb said, "unlike the rest of you, I actually had the pleasure of meeting basically the same person he is in this universe, in ours."

"What—" Beau started to ask.

"Arcane fuckery," Caleb said with a rueful smile.

"Of course," Beau grunted.

"Lucien is very self motivated, and I don't believe it's a good idea to try to convince him to help," Caleb said.

"There's a story there," Caduceus commented from his spot next to the bed. As he had been frequently, he had spent most of this conversation silent; it seemed he did not feel comfortable adding much to the conversation.

"A long one," Caleb said, "but it boils down to 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.'"

"He backstabbed you, I take it," Beau commented.

"And we were terribly outmatched, tired, and not ready for it," Caleb said. 

"So you'd be ready for it this time," Veth said.

"True," Caleb told her, "but then I had my companions who trusted me and whom I trusted implicitly."

"And you don't trust us," Jester said. She almost looked hurt by the admission.

"I would be foolish to," Caleb said, staring down at his hands, one of them picking gently at the uncovered skin on his arms, "though I want very badly to trust all of you. I trust very much who you could be, but I do not have the same history with you, and I cannot trust in that. Nor do you trust us."

Essek noted the pain in his voice as he said this, and recognized how difficult this still was for Caleb. He had finally learned to trust again, among people who looked like the ones in this room, and yet now he found that he could not rely on that here. Essek reached forward and pulled Caleb's hands away from his arms, recognizing a problematic behavior before it had time to fester. Caleb flashed him a grateful, if embarrassed, smile, and did not remove his hand from Essek's grasp.

"That's a fair assessment," Beau said, and from behind her on the bed Jester made a mild noise of disagreement. "But, for what it's worth, I don't currently have any intent to backstab you. For one, it's not in my best interest, and two, well. This whole thing has been more fun than I've had in a while."

"Speak for yourself!" Veth said, "I haven't been able to sneak into one house recently and I haven't even shot anyone."

"I am not babysitting you," Caleb remarked.

Veth made a disgruntled noise and said, "I know that!"

"It would be fun to fight someone some time," Beau said, inspecting her knuckles thoughtfully, "I feel like I'm getting out of practice."

"Maybe we'll get lucky and Avantika will try to murder us!" Veth said cheerfully, and wow, wasn't that a thought.

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

"I appreciate the effort, really, I do," the half-orc was saying, and Caleb found himself waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Unfortunately, I have my own plans, plans that do not involve you or going inland. And it's clear that you all know too much for me to feel comfortable with you walking away from here alive. So—" and with a quick hand motion Fjord sent three blasts of green energy toward Caleb, point blank. It was only Caleb's quick reflexes and a frantic shield spell that had the blasts missing the mark, going wide into the ceiling of the tavern. 

As always the quickest of the lot, Beau catapulted across the table with a shout of "finally!" and a knee to Fjord's face and follow-up elbow to the gut. Not much behind, Veth melted into the shadows and took two shots, the first hitting true and the second landing ineffectually in the wall behind Fjord. 

It was at that point that Veth got her wish and Avantika, previously seated across the bar with some of her other crewmates, took action, misty stepping the length of the tavern and into the fray, taking a large swing with her rapier at Beau that slashed across her back, though she missed with her second swing as Beau danced away from the blade. 

Fjord had given the group a large grin at that point, stating, "oh, now it's fun!" before taking his own swings at Beau with his falchion, both landing true, bringing a gurgle of a groan from Beau.

Across the room, the rest of their crewmates took the cue of their Captain and First Mate and surged across the room at their rag-tag band.

At that point Essek and Caleb had both managed to get their wits about them, Essek shuffling out of his seat and backwards into the quickly emptying bar as he readied his components and sent a flurry of magic missiles at Avantika, all the while backing out of the fray. Caleb had followed suit and backed away from the clanging of sword against wood, analyzing his targets and trying to figure out how best to extricate them from the battle. For lack of obvious options he smashed a bit of licorice root in his hand and cast haste on Beau, scanning the rest of the tavern for escape routes and hoping his new-old friends would be able to set aside their bloodlust long enough to disengage.

Even as he thought this he noticed Jester's spiritual guardians explode across the area and Caduceus scrambling backwards out of the fray, narrowly ducking a slash of Fjord's falchion as he did so. Caleb noted the tell-tale signs of bless being cast as he felt the warmth of the Wildmother envelope him.

He did not particularly want to see this fight play out, not against this alternate version of his friend, and yet he wasn't certain there would be a choice.

Stepping closer to Essek he asked, "do you think we could break away from this battle?"

Gaze flicking to his own only momentarily, Essek said, "I am not sure you will be able to convince Beau to leave." He lined up another barrage of magic missiles as he spoke.

Shooting off a half-hearted fire bolt at Avantika that landed largely due to the distraction of Beau's lightning fast attacks, Caleb noted, "ja, she's been itching for a fight."

The monk in question was currently finding herself overwhelmed as the only melee fighter in their party, the rest of the group having fanned out and therefore making her the prime target for both Fjord and Avantika.

"If you don't start taking this fight seriously we might need to scrape Beau off the floor when this is over," Essek said, like it wasn't a horrifying visual, "I care about Fjord too, but we'll never make it out of here if you keep pulling your shots. And, like it or not, Fjord has made his decision. We need to stick up for those who have agreed to help us."

Caleb didn't like Essek's logic, but that didn't mean he was wrong. He had been solely focusing on Avantika, and using low energy spells, in such a way that he hadn't ultimately been adding anything to the fight. Glancing around, it seemed most everyone not connected with one of their groups had vacated the premises. With a groan Caleb yanked out his cat's cradle and slammed his palms on the ground, sending a web of crackling fire to strike Fjord and Avantika, as well as three of the crew members who had been addling Beau and the clerics.

Having clearly disregarded the wizards in favor of dealing with the more immediate threat, this attack caught all of its targets off guard. Avantika and Fjord both sent annoyed looks in his direction, looking distinctly singed now, while Beau sent a smirk over her shoulder in his general direction.

"That's more like it," Essek said, his tone verging on condescending. It was not something Essek was very good at repressing, but its familiarity made Caleb fond despite the fact that he knew he should be frustrated with the drow.

As if feeling challenged by Caleb's spellwork, Essek yelled, "Beau, duck!" and let loose a gravity sinkhole, a little above and behind Avantika's crew. Beau heeded his warning, dodging under the table behind her for cover, while Fjord and Avantika, closer to the spell effect, were less fortunate. The sinkhole had the effect of taking most of their crew out of the picture, the sickening crunch of them being drawn into the sinkhole being followed by the squelch of what remained hitting the floor, though when the gravity effect disappeared and dropped Avantika and Fjord back to the floor they were still standing, looking furious.

"Who are these new friends of yours, Fjord?" Avantika purred, entire demeanor on guard and ready to kill. Despite her tone, Caleb could tell she was furious at this new development, if her expression and stance was anything to go by.

"Never met them, but they know an awful lot about me," Fjord said, "they wanted my help on some job, but unfortunately for them, I'm taken."

"Yes you are," Avantika agreed, taking in the crumpled bodies laying on the floor around her. She pushed her foot into the one closest to her. "Shame. He was a good worker."

For all her bravado, Caleb could tell Avantika looked weathered and beaten, and the numbers were no longer in her favor. Caleb and Essek had managed to avoid being hit so far, though Beau, Caduceus, and Jester all looked like they'd seen better. Beau in particular was looking bloodied and beaten, and Caleb wondered how much more she had in her. Furthermore, he was going to need to do something to protect their clerics if this fight went on much longer.

Not wanting to call attention to himself but also not wanting this fight to drag out much longer, Caleb asked, "I don't suppose you'd be interested in calling it quits, then?"

Avantika's cool gaze slid to his own, scanning her. "I'm not much familiar with Empire politics, but you bear a striking resemblance to an Assembly mage," she told him.

Apparently his disguise had worn off during the fight. Had the others—yes, beside him Essek appeared as himself, which meant they were likely all undisguised at this point. "I get that a lot," he said, casually, "I must caution you, though, that not every Empire wizard is a member of the Assembly."

"Likewise, I take it your drow friend here isn't a member of the Bright Queen's court?" she asked, "A bit far from home, aren't you?" She directed the last comment towards Essek.

"In more ways than you realize," Essek responded steadily.

Draping an arm around Fjord's waist, Avantika said, "this has been quite fun. But unfortunately if what Fjord says is true I cannot let you leave here alive."

"If you keep this up, you won't be leaving here alive," Caleb countered, and he could see the predatory flash in her eyes.

"Is that a threat?" Avantika asked.

"It's a statement of fact," Caleb responded, "I've killed you once and I can do it again." That was a stretching the truth a bit, as he had never dealt a killing blow to Avantika, but he had certainly hastened it along. And it's not like she would know that.

"Well then," she said, eyes glistening in curiosity soaked in raw fury, "let's see about that." And then she shot off three blasts of dark green energy in his direction. He managed to sidestep the first, but the second caught him in the shoulder, and the third would have as well had Essek not yanked him out of the way, taking the blast to his own arm. With a gleeful smile, Avantika ran at him.

The eldritch blast was painful, certainly, and on its own would not have been a problem, but it signified Avantika's newfound interest in attacking him, specifically, which did not bode well for his wizardly constitution. Before he even had time to brace for impact, however, Beau stopped her in her tracks with a well placed fist to the gut, which postponed her vengeance on him. The two crossbow bolts that suddenly appeared in her shoulder indicated that Veth was still in the fight, though Caleb had not seen her since the battle began.

Caleb was so busy calculating the rest of the battlefield that he didn't notice Fjord bearing down on him until it was too late, the falchion cutting a solid swathe across his chest. Letting out a grunt of pain, Caleb reached out and grabbed the wrist of the arm that wasn't holding the falchion, using their closeness to cast vampiric touch and regain a bit of energy at the expense of not-Fjord. Caleb frantically attempted to put space between himself and the half-orc as Fjord lunged towards him. Like Avantika before, Fjord was then stopped in his tracks, as Caleb watched Fjord's eyes widen as he locked into place mid-swing at Caleb. Over Fjord's shoulder he saw the tail end of Essek casting hold person.

Taking the chance he was given, Caleb ducked under Fjord's outstretched arm and rejoined Essek, glancing over to where Beau was going toe to toe with Avantika. Neither of them were looking good, and Caleb knew that his haste spell was about to wear off, which would spell trouble for Beau if she was still tussling with Avantika. Smashing the licorice root in his hands, he re-cast haste on Beau so she wouldn't have to deal with the crash just yet, then turned to Essek.

"Thoughts?" he asked Essek, putting his back to the wall next to Essek. Essek followed suit.

"We can take them," Essek said, looking to where Fjord was still locked in place and Avantika was floundering.

"Ja, we can," Caleb said softly.

"You don't want to kill him," Essek said.

"And you do?" Caleb asked, unable to keep his tone from sounding accusatory.

"Of course not," Essek responded, voice also soft, "I'm simply not sure how we can convince him to drop his cause at this point, and I do not see a way out of this fight otherwise."

Caleb was about to comment on Essek's observation when he heard a voice from his other side.

"Are you two gonna make out or are you gonna help us?" Veth asked, her eyes shining from her hiding spot behind the bar.

"We are strategizing," Caleb said.

"Well, strategize further from my hiding spot," Veth told them, scampering further into the bar area, smoothly grabbing a bottle of whiskey as she went and stuffing it into her pack.

Essek took a deep breath and shot off a lightning bolt at Avantika, who looked ready to collapse already. Perhaps sensing the shift of heat at her back, Avantika rolled out of the way and closer to where Caduceus had wedged himself, away from the fighting.

"Beau!" Caleb heard Jester yell as he watched the tiefling jump over an upturned table to where the monk had fallen, apparently felled by Avantika while the two had been talking. A burst of pastel green energy and Beau was gasping back to consciousness, looking over to where Jester was crouched over her, face scrunched in worry.

"Thanks, sweetheart," Beau said with a bloodstained smile as she popped back up to standing, yanking Jester back to her feet as she did so.

At that moment, Caleb registered Fjord breaking the hold Essek had placed on him, shaking out the feeling of stasis and turning to reassess the room. Fjord began sprinting to where Avantika was, vaulting over a booth and slamming into her.

"Away?" he asked.

"Away," she said with a grimace.

Locking an arm around her waist, Fjord took a step forward then disappeared, leaving only the boom of electricity in his wake. The shock of electricity clearly hit Caduceus, knocking him sideways and sending his hair frizzing out from his head. Beau managed to jump to safety, avoiding the entirety of the blast, and she managed to pull Jester away quick enough that Jester only caught part of the surge.

"What's the plan, Captain, do we chase him down?" Beau asked, leaning heavily on a chair.

With a jolt Caleb realized she was speaking to him, which felt distinctly wrong.

"Nein, no" Caleb said, peeling off the wall and rejoining them in the middle of the room, "he clearly isn't interested and I don't relish the idea of chasing them."

"And you don't want to kill a friend," Caduceus said, ever eagle-eyed.

"No, I don't want to kill a friend," Caleb said, "even if he surely would have killed me."

Beau shrugged. "I didn't come into this planning to kill him, so my expectations aren't upset. But now what? He's clearly not interested."

"Yasha is our only outstanding thread," Essek noted, "and your research placed her in Northern Xhorhas, near Bazzoxan."

"Yeah, it did," Beau said, shaking one of her arms as if it were sore. Caduceus reached forward and placed a hand to a slowly bleeding shoulder and a gentle green light emerged, mushrooms and fungi blooming from the cut before falling away and leaving a freshly healed wound. Beau sent him a grateful nod.

"And that's safe for you?" Jester asked, plopping herself down on one of the tables.

"Safer than here, at least for the moment. It's only a matter of time before word gets out that a drow was part of a bar fight in Nicodranas and he appeared to be using dunamancy," Essek said, "and if we get into hot water then I know someone near Bazzoxan who might be willing to help out."

"And why aren't we recruiting this mystery person, then?" Veth asked, scooting up from behind them while carrying her weight in alcohol. Beau reached out and swiped a bottle from the top of the pile, taking a deep swig.

"Because I said 'might,' and I'm doubtful he would be willing to leave his post regardless," Essek responded.

"Either way, we should make our way outta here," Veth said, peeking out of the window behind Caduceus. "I give us a couple minutes, tops, before we have zhelezo crawling up our ass."

"Charming visual," Beau said, "well, we better get cracking."

"We could teleport from here, so long as everyone is ready to leave," Essek said with a meaningful glance at Jester. 

"I'm all good!" Jester chirped, "I figured this might go to shit. I packed to leave from here if necessary."

"Great," Caleb said, motioning everyone closer then turning to Essek. "Should you or I do it?"

"If I do it then you could set up the tower," Essek told him, "I'm familiar enough with the region that I could land us in a reasonably safe area outside Bazzoxan."

"'Reasonably' is a lovely modifier you got there," Veth commented.

"Nowhere near Bazzoxan is safe, not even the town itself. I'll just have to do what I can," Essek said, holding out a hand to Caleb instinctively. Hand-holding was decidedly not necessary to teleport, and yet the Nein had trained him into doing it anyway.

With a knowing smile, Caleb grabbed Essek's hand.

"Is that necessary?" Beau asked with a finger pointed at their joined hands. Jester had already reached out to grab Caleb's free hand.

"No," Essek said at the same time Caleb said, "ja."

They both gave each other a look.

"It's not, but we usually do it anyway," Caleb said, letting Essek focus on the process.

"Gross," Beau said, crossing her arms. Behind her Caduceus shrugged and took Jester's free hand, prompting a giggle and a wide smile from the other cleric. Beau and Veth notably remained aloof and did not grab a hand, standing within range of the spell but keeping apart otherwise.

Caleb distantly noted the sounds of footsteps approaching the tavern right as the familiar feeling of a teleport spell settled over him and jerked him from his spot.

[Essek]

"And why haven't we been using this tower before now?" Beau asked, arms still crossed from the teleport. She's prickly, but she's in decent spirits considering she'd just had the shit kicked out of her a half hour previous. Or at least what passed as decent spirits for this version of Beau.

"Because we were staying in towns before now, and that was working just fine," Essek said. Beau gave him a narrow look, and Essek noted a sad smile from Caduceus to her left. He knows, of course, why they hadn't been using the tower. Caduceus could tell—and likely Beau could too—that this tower was a safe haven, one they didn't trust them in just yet. Still didn't, if Essek was honest with himself—and he was trying to be more honest these days—but in the wilderness of Northern Xhorhas, it was either this or the dome, and there would be more safety in the tower.

"It's up," Caleb said, standing up from where he had been casting the tower. In front of him stood the door to the tower, unchanged from the last time Essek had seen it. Caleb opened the door and stepped inside, holding it open for the rest to filter in.

Essek had seen the decoration of the tower many times, and so he was much more interested in the reactions of the rest of the group. The first floor held the stained glass representations of the schools of magic, which held little interest for most of the party save the ones who had already seen it.

"This is just the entryway. Those windows represent the schools of magic," Caleb explained. He began to float to the next level, "you get to the higher floors by thinking 'up.'"

"You can also say it, if you're so inclined," Essek said softly, looking at the rest of the group before saying, "up!" and following Caleb to the next floor.

Behind him, he heard Jester shout "up!" and shoot up to be level with Caleb. Caduceus, too, said it verbally, though based on the silence past that it appeared Beau and Veth had decided not to.

"This next floor is just whatever you need. Go over to one of those doors and think about it and it'll probably appear. I have training rooms, shooting ranges, and a hot tub pre-loaded, so those are definitely available," Caleb explained as they floated past an otherwise bland floor filled with doors.

"Cool," Beau said, "I claim the hot tub."

"Fuck you, I claim it first," Veth said, starting a mild tussle below Essek.

"It is a very large hot tub," Caleb commented, "you can both use it."

The scrabbling below him continued, but Essek assumed this had more to do with the love of the game than anything else.

"This next floor," Caleb said as they transitioned into the third floor, "is the library and salon. The books are real, but it only contains books I've read."

"Ohh, what kind of books do you read Cay-leb? I bet you like reading boring old books about magic," Jester said.

"Ja, I read a lot of those," Caleb said with a smile, "but I have some books you might like as well. Have you ever read Tusk Love?"

There was a loud gasp from Jester and some squealing as she tried to pry all of his opinions about the book out in a few seconds.

Below him, he heard Beau and Veth remarking on Caleb's shit taste in books. Caduceus remained thoughtful, looking around the full library. 

Essek knew that much of the library was full of repeats—that was the only way to make the large library look even halfway full—but that didn't take away from how impressive it was. In fact, Essek doubted that any of this group realized how truly impressive it was that Caleb could manifest an entire library of books, based solely on his own memory of them. It was an astounding feat of brilliance and one that Caleb barely even found noteworthy.

Caleb was brilliant, in so many ways, and Essek was repeatedly overwhelmed by this fact. Thinking about it felt somewhat like the times he had attempted to perceive something during high noon—uncomfortable, ephemeral, somewhat impossible.

"Something wrong, Mr. Thelyss?" Caduceus asked as they continued to drift slowly upward. Only, it seemed that Essek had paused in his upward drift. He realized suddenly that his musing on Caleb must have distracted him from thinking about moving upwards. He quickened his pace to catch up to where he had been.

"Please, call me Essek," he told Caduceus instead of answering.

Caduceus hummed. "Something wrong, Essek?"

Essek let out a huff of laughter. "No, nothing more than the usual. I was simply thinking about how no one ever notices how impressive it is that Caleb can fill a library full of books, simply by memory."

"I think that is quite impressive," Caduceus said.

"No, I mean—" Essek started, then gestured around, "in order for you to be able to read the books in this tower, he has to be able to think about it. The books are readable because he remembers the full text of the books."

"Oh," Caduceus said with raised eyebrows, "that is impressive."

Essek smiled softly. "It is indeed."

Before they could continue the conversation, Caleb said, "and this is the dining room and kitchens. Be careful of the kitchens, you might get in the way of the cats."

"What cats—" Beau started to say, only the cut off and to say, "holy shit" as she noticed the cats running about the place, presumably preparing for their guests.

"You can ask the cats for help if you need something, or can't find something. They do the cooking over there," Caleb gestured through the doors, to where Essek knew the dining room and kitchens were.

"This. Is. Amazing," Jester said, halting her upward climb so she could tempt some cats to her hands. A few began to tentatively sniff her. The rest of the group followed Jester's lead and landed on the platform.

Essek noticed a familiar little black cat approaching him, one with a white mark on his chest that looked like a bow. With a smile he leaned down and held out his arms to pick up the cat.

"Well hello there, Rudi," Essek said, cradling the cat in his arms and scratching the underside of his chin. Rudi let out a little trill at the touch and leaned in further. "It's been a while." At his feet a tortoiseshell cat twined between his legs, while a dark gray longhair rubbed against the outside of his leg.

Looking over to the rest of the group, he noted the fond expression on Caleb's face as he watched Essek, and Essek couldn't help the warm feeling that rolled over him. He smiled, small but genuine, both at Caleb and the cat in his arms.

"No fair, Essek has an unfair advantage because he's been here before and it's his boyfriend's magic tower," Jester whined from a spot on the floor where she was trying to coax a small gray cat into her lap.

Ears flicking in embarrassment at the comment, Essek said, "Go on, Kaspar," to the cat Jester was motioning at. "Jester is a freundin," Essek said, fumbling through the Zemnian pronunciation. Kasper, still looking a little dubious, flicked his ears and crawled up onto Jester's lap. The cat let out a little mrowl and a hiss after sniffing Jester, causing the tiefling to deflate.

"Kaspar," Caleb said, and then said several sentences in Zemnian that Essek wasn't quite able to catch, though it seemed to be that Caleb was explaining that while this Jester might not be their Jester she was still, nonetheless, Jester.

The cat calmed down after that, settling down into her lap. Jester looked tentatively excited about this development, like she wasn't certain it would hold. 

"He was put off by your scent. It smells so much like our Jester, but not quite the same. It's fine now, though, I explained the issue to him," Caleb told her.

"Good," Jester said, rubbing the top of Kaspar's head, "I'd hate to get off on the wrong foot with these guys."

"What about the rest of the tower?" Veth asked, gesturing upwards.

"Bedrooms, mostly," Caleb said, kicking off from the landing to begin floating again. Essek allowed Rudi to jump out of his arms before rejoining Caleb in the air.

"Aww, I just got him in my lap," Jester said as the rest of the group restarted their upward float.

"Pick him up, he can come with you," Caleb said, to which Jester gleefully complied.

As they transitioned to the fifth floor, Caleb pointed out the rooms.

"That's Caduceus's," Caleb said, pointing to the room with the scarab beetle on the door.

"And that one is Essek's," Caleb said, pointing to a door with dark wood and carved geometric patterns matching some of the components of the Fortune's Favor spell.

"The third on is Yasha's, if she joins us," Caleb said, not looking at it before moving upward again

"Gonna be honest, I didn't expect you two to have separate rooms," Beau said.

"Yeah, you don't have to pretend for us," Jester said, "We're friends , remember."

"It's nice to have your own space to come back to," Caleb responded. Caleb left out, of course, the fact that more often than not, the two of them ended up passing out in the salon over some books. At least, Caleb usually ended up passing out over the books due to his inability to match Essek's sleep schedule, while Essek was more intentional in his choice to trance in the library, near Caleb. 

"Yeah, but you two have definitely been sharing a bed in the taverns we've stayed at," Beau said, "and don't give me shit about elves trancing, I walked in on him in the bed at least once."

"And this is your room, Beau," Caleb said, loudly, pointing to the door with the symbol of the Cobalt Soul.

"Don't think I didn't notice that," Beau grumbled. Caleb grinned at her. Essek noted that his ears were red, despite the way he had confidently played it off.

"This one is Jester's," he continued, pointing to the door with the archway carving.

He continued upward without commenting on the third door.

"Caleb," Jester said, rocking Kaspar in her arms like a baby.

"Ja?" he responded.

"Who is this third door for?" she asked, pointing to the door with an anchor on it.

Fjord's room.

"Ah," Caleb commented, but did not elaborate.

"That's Fjord's room," Essek responded gently.

"You kept his room in?" Veth asked.

"I keep the rooms the same every time I create the tower, regardless of who will be using it," Caleb said, "though sometimes I have to adjust things if we have many guests."

"That is very thoughtful of you," Caduceus said, "you care about them very much."

It was said like a statement, because it was simply an observation of truth. This entire tower was a testament to Caleb's love for his friends; it had taken multiple people cajoling him before Caleb would even customize his own room. But for his friends? He would create works of art featuring their favorite memories. He would create it down to the finest detail.

"Ja, Caduceus, I do," Caleb said, voice cracking, before he turned and continued to float upwards.

"This floor is just myself and Veth," Caleb said, pointing out Veth's door, "there is a laboratory connecting our rooms."

"Oh?" Veth said, appraising Caleb.

"It does not see as much use as I would have liked, but I suppose that's what happens when you must compete with a hot tub," Caleb joked. "Now, what does everyone want to eat? I will go instruct the cats what we will be having for dinner."

"What about the other floors?" Jester asked.

"Those are private," Caleb said.

"It's their fuck room," Veth said in a stage whisper to Beau.

"Please, don't put that image in my head," Beau responded with a groan.

Caleb let out a huff of laughter before heading back down the tower, the rest of them following behind.

[Caleb]

"Unfortunately," Caleb was saying, "the only members of this little band who can speak Undercommon are the ones who definitely shouldn't be wandering around Bazzoxan."

"You know disguise spells, though," Beau said, kicking her heels up on top of the dining table beside her.

"Disguise spells, yes, but if you think my accent in Common is atrocious, you should hear it in Undercommon," Caleb responded.

"I think your accent is nice," Caduceus commented.

"Me too!" Jester agreed, "it's like you're gargling rocks."

"Thank you Caduceus, Jester," Caleb said. He continued, "it's exacerbated by the fact that very few native Zemnian speakers learn Undercommon, so the sound is quite distinctive and draws a fair share of attention."

"And we can't have pretty boy here wandering around, either, because someone will recognize him eventually," Beau agreed.

"No, we can't have pretty boy wandering around either," Caleb agreed with a smile. Beau scrunched up her nose and groaned in response, which was exactly the reaction Caleb had hoped for.

"What about Nott?" Jester asked, "goblins are fairly common here in Xhorhas, right?"

"About that," Veth said, "did you know that the Goblin language actually has dialects? I didn't either. Anyway, they'd understand me, but my accent would be clocked as Dwendalian pretty quickly."

"That would be less problematic than a native Zemnian speaker, actually" Essek said, "there are plenty of goblins who make their way into the Dynasty to escape persecution in the Empire."

"Oh, huh," Veth said, like she'd never considered that. Knowing her biases, Caleb figured she probably hadn't. 

"But," Essek continued, "Bazzoxan is essentially a military outpost. And while it might make sense for a goblin to come to the Dynasty seeking refuge, they wouldn't come from the north."

"Damn," Veth said, though it didn't sound like she was actually disappointed.

"What about Caduceus or Jester?" Beau asked, "they're not from the Empire, and they probably won't raise as many eyebrows."

"The unfortunate problem about Bazzoxan is that most people just don't have a reason to be there unless they're part of the Aurora Watch," Caleb commented.

"Why not?" Beau asked.

"It's built near the ruins of a temple to the betrayer gods, who aren't generally keen on relinquishing power over anything," Caleb explained, "at this point, soldiers outnumber civilians four to one, and the civilians are those who've lived here for some time."

"What about that friend you have here, Essek?" Jester asked. She had managed to balance two cats in her lap and was petting one with each hand, but it was a precarious position.

"It's my brother, Verin," Essek responded, "and I cannot be certain he would help me."

"Complicated relationship?" Beau asked. 

Essek let out a huff of laughter. "You could say that."

"Plus, you aren't even his brother, just an alternate reality version," Veth said.

"True," Essek agreed, "there are many reasons I'm not certain it's smart to approach him."

"But?" Beau asked.

"But I'm not sure we have many other ways to find Yasha," Essek said with a sigh.

"And we're sure we need this Yasha?" Veth asked. The rest of the table turned to look at her. "What? It's a fair question. The last person you tried to recruit tried to kill you, and I don't have high hopes about our chances with someone known as the Orphanmaker ."

"Yasha is different," Caleb said, "I suspected we might not be able to convince Fjord to come with us because of Uk'otoa, but with Yasha, well. She's not…she's not currently operating on her own will. As far as I can tell, she's still under the thrall of an entity known as Obann. Her actions are not her own. We can break her out of it with a Greater Restoration, but I can't be sure where her head will be once we reboot her."

"Like, you don't know if she'll try to kill us or…?" Beau asked.

"I don't know if she'll be ready to leap into battle," Caleb said, "but I have to try. Even if she's not ready, I would feel better to have pulled her from the torment she is currently under."

"How did she break free in your world?" Caduceus asked.

"The Stormlord intervened," Caleb said, "and it is my understanding that she spent a good deal of time trying to feel worthy of his intervention."

"So in this world the Stormlord just… didn't help her?" Jester asked 

"I suppose not," Caleb said, "or he did, but Obann managed to reclaim her somehow."

"Well that's fucked up," Jester said, "Artie would never."

"Your patron dumped ninety percent of his followers on a volcano to slowly forget who they are," Beau said, eyebrows raised.

"Maybe so," Jester said, unflinching, "but it's not like they're dead! They still have their own will."

"But they don't remember where they came from or the name of their wife or parents or—" Beau rattled off, then stopped when Jester gave her a Look. "What? I'm not judging, I'm just saying maybe don't throw stones in glass houses."

"I think," Veth said loudly, over top of Beau and Jester, "that Thelyss should just go talk to his brother. If it goes poorly we'll just bamf out of here and go from there. It's our best lead right now."

"There are so many ways this could go poorly," Caleb said.

"Aren't there always?" Beau asked with a little wolf smile. Then she dropped her feet to the floor and slammed her hands on the table. "I'm going to the hot tub now, don't wait up."

"Not if I get there first!" Veth said, shooting under the table and into a sprint into the center of the tower, jumping as if to cannonball down.

"Hey!" Beau yelped, vaulting herself over the table and taking off after Veth.

"I think I'll join them," Jester said, almost thoughtfully, before standing up and dumping the cats in her lap onto the floor. They met her frantic apologies with simply a shake of their bodies before heading back into the kitchen.

"It has been a bit since I got to appreciate a hot spring," Caduceus mused, "Perhaps it will feel like home."

The clerics both headed down the tower with a little less frenetic energy than their companions, though Caleb did note Jester pulling Caduceus along at a faster pace than he might have gone otherwise.

And then it was just Caleb and Essek.

"How are you feeling?" Essek asked, reaching out to take Caleb's hand. Caleb blinked on their joined hands; he was still surprised when Essek initiated contact, even when it was clearly meant as comfort.

"As well as can be expected," Caleb commented, "Fjord…Fjord hurt, but it was expected."

"Yes, he was always going to be a difficult nut to crack," Essek said. Caleb huffed a laugh at the colloquialism. 

There was a brief silence in which Caleb simply stared at their joined hands sitting on Caleb's knee. He considered resisting the urge to rub his thumb along Essek's knuckles, but decided he was a little far past such propriety and allowed himself to do it.

"What about the hits you took during the fight?" Essek asked after a moment.

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before," Caleb said, a true statement if not a reassuring one. "A good sleep will set me right."

Essek hummed, like he wasn't certain of what Caleb said but was letting it go anyway.

"And the plan to speak to Verin?" Essek asked.

"Dangerous and borderline stupid, but what of our plans aren't?" Caleb said, "more importantly, how do you feel about it? You know Verin best."

"I'm not sure. Verin is an upstanding man, and I can trust that he'll do what he sees as the right thing. He's also incredibly loyal to the Bright Queen and the Dynasty, and if the Dynasty has a hit out for you—which it certainly does, at this point—I can't be certain he wouldn't turn us in, brothers be damned," Essek said.

"Would it be better to send you in with Caduceus?" Caleb asked.

"No," Essek answered immediately, then paused and said, "well, perhaps. But I need you by my side."

"Why me?" Caleb asked, curious. Strategically, he was a poor choice, even if they were the ones seeking his help. The others would be better assistance and would draw less ire from Verin.

"Because," Essek said with a shuddering breath, "the only way we convince Verin to help me is by showing that I am better off in the other reality. And you will do that."

"I will?" Caleb asked.

Essek gave him a meaningful look, one Caleb was terrified to dissect but wanted to anyway.

"I am happy with you . In my reality. Whatever we tell him about our reality, if you are with me he will see the truth of my words," Essek said, "and he will see that you've made me better."

"Don't give me all the credit," Caleb joked, ignoring the warmth in his chest at Essek's words.

"Don't minimize it, Caleb Widogast ," Essek said, doing that thing he sometimes did where he made Caleb's name sound like a term of endearment, like 'Caleb Widogast' meant the moons and stars and cosmos itself. "You have made me better, made me happy, for the first time in my life. If Verin sees that, he might be willing to help."

Taking a shaky breath under the weight of Essek's stare, he said, "Well, in that case, of course I will accompany you."

Essek reached out with his free hand and tucked some of Caleb's hair behind his ear, hair that had come free of Caleb's partial up-do and currently hung in front of his face. Caleb watched him look at it with some reverence and was too caught in the moment to look at anything but Essek. There had been moments, many of them, over the past year, where Caleb had recognized that they could be something, he and Essek. That perhaps, this feeling, this regard, was there. But the ticking clock in the back of his mind and the lingering questions of trust had always pushed Caleb to make his affection small, no different than he felt for any of his friends. It took too long for Caleb to come to trust Essek again—and he did trust him now, trust that he wanted to be better, wanted to improve, wanted to help—for him to feel comfortable saddling Essek with someone who would all too soon be an old man. Beautiful, brilliant Essek, who had centuries to live.

"Caleb?" Essek asked.

Caleb came out of his thoughts, remembering the feel of Essek's hand in his own and the guarded affection in his eyes.

"Ja?" Caleb asked with a sideways smile.

Essek seemed to calculate something in his mind, biting his lip in thought, one fang poking out where it chewed on his lip.

"We should, ah, join the others. Make sure they're not up to something," Essek said, finally. Caleb got the sense it wasn't what he wanted to say, but he made no attempt to take back the words.

"They're definitely up to something," Caleb said, standing with a loud pop from his knees. Essek flinched beside him. Caleb would have dropped his hand but Essek's grip was tight, like he wasn't ready to let go, so he let him keep it. "But we can check on them anyway."

"After you," Essek said with the dip of his head and a gesture with his free hand.

"Of course," Caleb said with a fond smile.

[Essek]

From their spot by the window, both Essek and Caleb—disguised as a drow in Aurora Watch armor—could hear the approach of Verin as he came back to his room for the night. This might have been more difficult, had Verin been of a lower rank, but the perks of having private quarters made it easier to catch him alone.

Essek was out in the open, undisguised, and quite frankly terrified at the prospect of speaking to the alternate version of his brother. The only thing keeping him from bolting was Caleb's steady presence by his side, one hand curled around the inside of his elbow.

Almost as if Caleb recognized how much Essek wanted to be anywhere but here.

The sound of the door opening brought him back into focus, and he stood up straight.

Verin paused immediately upon seeing them, hand to his sword, but with the proximity and the light of Catha through the window, he was able to immediately recognize Essek.

"Essek?" Verin asked, softly, as if trying to soothe a spooked moorbounder.

"Verin," Essek responded.

"What are you doing here?" Verin asked, voice still pitched low. Essek registered the look he gave Caleb, standing behind him. Though it didn't appear he had seen through Caleb's disguise, it likely wouldn't matter soon.

"I need your help," Essek said, having no intention of beating around the bush.

"What could I help you with?" Verin asked suspiciously.

"I am not… I am not of this universe. Some sort of Arcane experiment has brought me through to this universe where I do not belong. I am not the Essek you know, and yet I am still, despite it all, also him," Essek said, watching Verin's microexpressions. He knew that Caleb behind him was likely straining to make out anything in the dimly lit room, so he sent out a couple of dancing lights by rote. Verin registered them but said nothing. "Your version of me is… at odds with me, and therefore I cannot count on him for help."

"Who do you have with you?" Verin asked, eyes still looking at Caleb. Someone else might have asked him who his friend was, but Verin likely wouldn't have imagined Essek having friends. Perhaps he suspected the illusion, perhaps he was simply suspicious of the ever present hand on Essek's elbow. 

"He is the reason I am at odds with my alternate self," Essek says, "though to be fair, I suppose I didn't him give a chance to come around."

"He would not have given you the time to attempt such a thing," Caleb commented, in heavily accented Undercommon, and his voice immediately brought Verin's hand back to his blade. 

Without a thought, Essek placed himself between Verin and Caleb.

"This is Caleb," Essek said, by way of introduction, "and I care most dearly about him and would not see him harmed."

"Show your true face," Verin said, squinting at Essek's words. With a motion of his hand, Caleb's form dropped and he reappeared as himself.

"I am to believe that not only does my brother, single, solitary Essek Thelyss, have a friend, but that the person he cares most dearly about is a human from the Empire?" Verin asked.

"Verin, please," Essek said, voice close to pleading, "in my universe I am… I am happy. I have a relationship with you, and a group of friends who care about me despite my many, many faults, and I have Caleb."

"What’s so different, in your universe, to change you so much?" Verin asked, "Give me a reason why you keep company with an imperial human."

"A group of mercenaries known as the Mighty Nein, hailing from all over Wildmount, were brought into court one day, asked to explain their presence in the Dynasty. They explained they wanted the return of a prisoner, the husband of one of their members, and that they had something for the Bright Queen. And then Caleb pulled a beacon out of their bag and said—" Essek looked to Caleb by his side.

Caleb supplied, in Common, tone hushed, "'I am of the Empire, but I am no friend to the Empire,'"

"Then they were hailed as 'Heroes of the Dynasty,' for returning the lost beacon to the Dynasty. I was assigned as their liaison and tasked with spying on them. And they, in turn, dragged me kicking and screaming into friendship with their kindness and heart. I had not realized, before then, that I could have friends, that people could care for me for me and not what I could do for them. And it wasn't because of what I could do for them, but just because they found me…" Essek trailed off.

"Interesting, aloof, a little bit charming, and a right arschloch," Caleb provided, his tone fond and his hand gentle on his arm, "though I admit I was very intrigued by your magic at first."

Essek coughed, ears flicking in embarrassment. He hoped the lights were dim enough that Verin could not see his dark flush, though based on the way Verin was appraising him he wasn't sure that was true. 

"And you are still the Shadowhand, my brother?" Verin asked, eyes flicking between Essek and Caleb.

"I have stepped down from my position in order to better pursue my research," Essek told him, a falsity that is close enough to truth that it would not register as a lie but by omission. 

"The research that landed you here," Verin supplied. 

"The very same," Essek responded.

"Mother must have hated that," Verin commented, leaning back a bit. His hand stayed fast to his sword, but it was a slack grip, as though he was doing it by rote and not out of an expectation that he needed it.

Essek huffed a bit of surprised laughter and said, "an understatement, as I'm sure you understand."

"And you, Caleb, why could you not go to your double for assistance?" Verin asked, addressing Caleb for the first time.

"Well, I doubt he would have the information we need right now," Caleb said, "but considering he tried to kill us last we saw him, I'm not eager to repeat the experience."

"Your double tried to kill you," Verin responded, looking dumbfounded.

"I suppose he was more keen to take out Essek, but he did not much mind that I was there as well," Caleb told him, grip on Essek's arm tightening at the thought. It was an awkward angle, now that Verin was attempting to talk with Caleb directly, so Essek shifted slightly so he was no longer standing directly between them—though he did not completely remove himself from Verin's path. Caleb lessened his grip on Essek's arm, and he was almost worried that Caleb was about to remove his hand completely, but that worry was brief, as Caleb instead slid his hand down the length of Essek's arm to hold his hand instead. Perhaps more noteworthy to Verin, but much more comfortable at that angle.

And better by far than no contact at all.

Verin definitely clocked the movement of the hand with a surprised eyebrow raise, but said nothing as Caleb continued, "the version of me in this universe doesn't go by Caleb Widogast, as that was the name I chose for myself. He goes by his—our—birth name, Bren Aldric Ermendrud."

Immediately Verin's hand went back to his sword.

" Archmage Ermendrud ?" Verin asked, incredulously. 

"Unfortunately," Caleb commented, maintaining eye contact in a way Essek hoped came across as genuine and not threatening. "As you can imagine, I have some disagreements with his life choices."

Verin's eyes went back to their joined hands and then back to Essek.

"Who is he to you, this man who would be an Empire archmage?" Verin asked. "Speak plain, brother. I will not appreciate games right now."

Essek felt Caleb's grip tighten on his hand. "That is…a difficult prospect, you must understand," Essek said, decidedly not looking at Caleb, "we are… friends. Research partners. I—" love him "care deeply for him and would do everything in my power to keep him safe and content."

He heard Caleb let out a shaky breath behind him.

"We do not have a name for what we are," Caleb added, though the question had not been directed to him, "and our relationship, what it is, is complicated by a number of factors I'm sure I do not need to spell out to you."

Verin looked at the both of them, gaze sweeping over the both of them. Essek resisted the urge to fidget as he did so, knowing it would seem childish and silly. Verin was only deciding whether he could trust this alternate version of Essek, not the man he knows but so alike nonetheless. Whether bringing Caleb was a liability he cannot yet say, but what he does know is that he needed his support, just like he had when he had reconnected with his brother in their world.

Perhaps sensing his discomfort, or simply knowing him well enough to intuit it, Caleb began to run his thumb over Essek's knuckles where their hands were connected.

Verin took a deep breath and released his grip on his sword. "I don't need a name for what you are to tell that you are genuine. I don't know what assistance you need; my abilities are a bit constrained, and I hope you will respect that my loyalty is to the Bright Queen."

"We need nothing so strenuous," Essek supplied quickly, "we are attempting to find our way back to our world, and in doing so intend to find the location we were at when it happened, in hopes of reverse engineering the accident. But we need assistance to get there, and are attempting to gather the versions of our friends that exist in this universe."

"I cannot leave my post—" Verin started, but Caleb interrupted, saying, "we would not ask you to do so.

Verin looked curious and said, "if not that, then what?"

"A friend of ours has been seen operating in this area. We could not get a more accurate location from town because we would draw too much attention, but you perhaps could," Essek explained. 

"And I would know the location of this friend?" Verin asked.

"Perhaps. Her name is Yasha. Yasha Nydoorin. It is our understanding she has been operating under the moniker 'The Orphanmaker,'" Essek told him.

Verin's eyes widened. "You are friends with the Orphanmaker?"

"She is not nearly so bad as the alias implies," Caleb said, "and besides, her actions are not her doing. She is being controlled by a man named Obann."

"You think you can break her of his control?" Verin asked.

"We did in our world," Caleb said. 

Verin took a deep breath. "You seem to know what you are doing, so I will not second guess that. We do have a location for her, though not exact. You could likely pinpoint her that way."

"Thank you," Caleb said before Essek could reply.

"It is not safe for you to linger here," Verin said, walking over to his desk and pulling out paper and pen, "I will rough out a map of the area where she was last spotted, but it is best if you return to your companions soon."

"Really, Verin, thank you for this," Essek said, coming up next to him, Caleb following behind, pulled by their joined hands.

Verin shot him a smile before returning to the rough map he was drawing. "It's hard not to help you, seeing you like this," Verin said, "I only wish my relationship with my Essek was so good."

"He might come around," Essek said meaningfully, "I know it's unlikely to help, knowing that, and I don't know what will happen here, but the capability is there."

"That, at least, is reassuring," Verin told him.

They stood there for a few moments longer while Verin finished off the map, blowing on the ink once he was finished and handing it to them. Caleb took it, and, upon noting that the ink had dried, rolled it up and put it in his pack.

"Be safe," Verin said, and Essek knew he wanted to add on something about 'in the light of the luxon,' but held off for Essek's sake. Taking a deep breath, Essek dropped Caleb's hand and pulled Verin into a hug. Verin sank into the hug readily, though Essek could not help but notice that he had stiffened up in shock when he had first initiated the hug.

"Thank you, truly," Essek said to him, still in the hug, "I hope you get a chance to have a relationship with him someday."

"As do I," Verin said into his neck before pulling away. Essek noted unshed tears that Verin was valiantly keeping that way.

Turning to Caleb, Verin said, "watch out for him. I know you already do, but I need to know there's someone out there who cares for this ninny."

"I do, and I will," Caleb said, meaningfully.

As they turned to go, Verin stopped him, grabbing Essek’s wrist. Caleb was already partway out the window when it happened, pausing to let the brothers interact. Verin leaned close to Essek’s ear and said, "don't get in your head about it. He cares for you just as you care about him. You've done well to seek the happiness you have so far; don't let yourself stop now."

Essek flushed, not thinking that was what Verin would say, and looked away. "I will…try."

"Don't try, do," Verin said with a little shove to Essek's shoulder.

"Thank you," Essek choked out, and Verin pushed him toward the window and Caleb.

"Go, before I get sad," Verin told him.

"Too late," Essek quipped, and Verin let out a strangled laugh.

Turning back, Caleb polymorphed into a large, dark feathered bird that would blend in with the local fauna, shaking out his feathers as he did so. Once Essek was at the window Caleb lowered himself so that Essek could seat himself on top instead of dangling ungracefully from a claw. With one backwards look at Verin, they took off into the night sky above Bazzoxan.

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

"You care a lot about her."

Caleb looked up from his book, legs crossed underneath him on the plush sofa. The rest of the group had split up to go to their rooms, and he had not yet been able to sleep, mind still rattling through problems that wouldn't likely be solved that night or even the next. When his brain got like that he would make himself reread one of the various silly smut novels that buttressed the library of his tower. He'd already reread Tusk Love somewhat recently, and had been giving a reread to one of Jester's more recent suggestions. 

Beau's statement seemed much more important than treading the old—and not very original—ground of the novel in his hands, so he closed it and met her gaze.

"You'll have to be more specific," Caleb said.

"The other me," Beau said, fidgeting. She had stopped several feet away, not making use of any of the seating near him. 

"Well, ja, I do," Caleb said, "I should hope I had made that clear."

"It's one thing to hear your stories, it's another thing to sleep in the room designed for her," Beau said brusquely, "it seems more…"

"Real?" Caleb offered.

"Yeah," Beau said, still not meeting his eyes.

"Well, I don't intend to make you uncomfortable," Caleb said, running his finger along the spine of the book in his hands, "I can get rid of the customization if that would make you feel better?"

"No!" Beau answered quickly, and Caleb had to force himself not to smile. Talking to this Beau was a delicate process; he had to take care not to frighten her with too much kindness at a time, or she'd spook.

"I won't, then," Caleb said, gently.

Beau stood there for a moment longer, clearly attempting to will herself to say something, so Caleb simply waited. 

"The stained glass window in her room. The one with all of your group standing in it?" Beau started, abruptly.

"Ja, what about it?" Caleb asked.

"Does it always look like that?" she asked, "you're not just putting it on for me, right?"

"No, that's how it always looks. I've made a few changes over time to better reflect our group—adding in Essek, for example—but the basic design is always the same," Caleb said.

"The woman she's holding hands with, is that Yasha?" Beau asked.

"Ja, it is," Caleb told her.

"They're together, I take it?" Beau asked. 

"Ja," Caleb said with a lazy smile, "they are."

There's another loaded silence as Beau fiddled with her belt. After a few more moments of thought Beau abruptly threw herself down at the other end of the sofa Caleb was sitting on.

"I'm not used to having a team," Beau said, still not looking at him, "even the Soul, they work for me, not with me. But fighting with all of you, in Nicodranas? That was good."

"It is much better to have friends at your back than to be constantly worried about who is going to gut you in your sleep," Caleb agreed. 

Beau gave him a sharp look. "I don't need you to rationalize me."

"I wasn't. I was speaking from experience," Caleb said, setting the book to the side. "When I first met the Nein I had spent some time on my own, constantly worried about where my next meal would come from or who might try to stab me for the few coppers I carried. When we first traveled together I slept with one eye open, planning to bolt at the first sign that the group wasn't working in my best interest. I got the impression several of us were like that. And yet we slowly came to trust each other. Now, I truly believe that they would move heaven and earth to help me, or save me."

"What about her?" Beau asked.

"What about her?" Caleb parroted, not sure exactly what she was asking.

"How was she when you met? What is your relationship now?" Beau elaborated. 

"Beauregard had just run from the Cobalt Soul when we first met, and was still ready to fight anyone and everyone in power, and many who weren't. She was abrasive, and rude, and she hated me for the first month we traveled together," Caleb told her, reminiscing on the old days when it was just the Nein, a cart, and the shifting grasses of the Empire.

"What changed?" she asked.

Caleb shrugged. "We spent a lot of time together. Had each other's backs. Went through some personal growth. We realized we both sought information, and were good at it. Our efforts are currently toppling the Cerberus Assembly."

"Through research?" Beau asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Putting together records of their misdeeds, their wrongdoing. We started with Ikithon, enlisting the aid of some of my old friends, Astrid and Eodwulf, and compiled accounts of what he did to us. We've been trying to do the same for the others. Da'leth is a tough nut to crack, but we'll get there," Caleb told her.

"Seems like a lotta work when you could just kill them," Beau said, tossing her leg up onto the sofa and sprawling further into the cushions.

"Very true," Caleb acquiesced, "and yet, if you kill them without putting together proof of their misdeeds, you ensure they die a martyr, or at least that their actions go unaccounted for and the system allows someone else to rise up who may be just as bad as their predecessor."

"Like you," Beau said.

"Like me," Caleb agreed.

Beau was quiet once again, appearing thoughtful.

"What you told us, about what Ikithon did to you. You were still content to let him live?" Beau asked.

Caleb's answering laugh is harsh on his ears, but he can't help it. "Content is not the word I would use. My friends were perhaps more dismayed by my choice, but ultimately I think what we did was better."

"He's a powerful man, both through connections and sheer magical prowess. How do you ensure he isn't able to get out?" Beau asked.

Here, Caleb's smile is a bit sharp, and Caleb isn't comfortable with the emotion it invokes. "In our travels, I came across a mage-killing collar, one that ensures a person cannot speak, thereby cutting off a person's ability to perform the verbal components of spells. When he finally made his play to kill me, he was so caught up in his own fury at me that he paid little attention to you—the other you, that is—jumping out of the tree behind him and affixing the collar to him," Caleb said, "which was made all the worse by the fact that Veth had previously applied sovereign glue to the interior of the collar."

"Sovereign glue?" Beau asked.

"Nothing short of a wish spell can undo its binds," Caleb explained. Beau's eyes widened, and then so did her smile.

"Fuckin’ ingenius," Beau said, "and also terrifying."

"Ja, indeed," Caleb agreed, "and then Jester took the sovereign glue and painted little dicks onto his hands and stuck them together."

"She—" Beau started but then broke off into wild laughter at the very thought. 

Once her laughter had died down, Caleb said, "that ensured he could not perform somatic functions, either. And had the added benefit of ensuring that he would need to be spoon sped for the rest of his life."

"Gods!" Beau said, wiping a tear from her eye.

"So I would probably say that by the time everything was said and done, ja, he probably wished I would have killed him," Caleb said.

"Damn, and here I thought everyone in your universe was pansies," Beau said.

"Only most of the time," Caleb said with a smile.

Beau managed to calm down enough to look thoughtful, yet again.

"What would you think if I tried to do the same to the other you?" Beau asked. 

"Good," Caleb said immediately.

"Really?" Beau asked. "No sympathy for the other you?"

"Just because I understand how he got there doesn't mean I intend to excuse it. In many ways he represents my worst nightmares of how I could have turned out. He manifests all the negative thoughts I've had about myself. The stuff I must live with for the rest of my life, that convinced me I need to do better? Didn't phase him. He decided to perpetuate it on others," Caleb said, "he needs to go down."

"What about the other version of Thelyss?" Beau asked.

"What about him?" Caleb asked.

"He's done terrible things. I have records of it. Nott's husband was almost certainly tortured by him, if not killed," Beau pointed out.

Caleb made a face. "I do not intend to excuse what he has done. I have more sympathy for him than for the other version of me, however. The other me chose the thing that made him worse. This Essek never got the chance to make that decision."

"We always have a choice," Beau said.

"Ja, well. He was never shown that he could choose," Caleb said, fiddling with a loose thread on the arm of the sofa. Beau gave him a narrow look.

"What about me?" Beau asked.

"Do I think you can be forgiven?" Caleb asked.

"Among other things," Beau said.

"As you said, we always have a choice. Redemption is not a straight path, nor is there any one way to go about it. Anyone, at any time, could make the choice to do better, be better, and leave the world better than they found it. You made different choices than my Beau, but you're still her, at the core. Maybe a little less trusting, maybe a little rougher around the edges. Maybe even a little more murderous. But you're her, and I know you could do good if you chose to," Caleb told her. As he spoke, he watched Beau clench her arm of the sofa, pointedly looking away from him and into the fireplace nearby.

"And if I can't?" she asked, little more than a whisper.

"You can ," Caleb said, putting a hand on her knee. Beau stiffened but did not move away.

"Maybe I would like to try," she said, "maybe I would like to have this—this companionship."

"Beau, you are incredibly abrasive and rude and funny and smart and a number of things rolled into one. There will be people out there who will appreciate that, even if they’re not among this group," Caleb told her, gripping her knee.

It was then that he noticed the tell-tale glimmer of a tear on her cheek.

"It's incredibly shitty of you to appear and show all of us how much better everything could be and then just fuckin’ leave, y'know?" she asked, not looking at him.

"I am sorry, for what it's worth," Caleb responded, truthfully. It was not the first time he had come to the realization, watching an alternate version of his friend struggle with what could have been, what still could be and yet never will. He felt the same way when he first met Caduceus, trapped in rot and the expectations of his family, and when Jester had broken down into tears upon meeting him. 

"Of course you fuckin’ are, you bleeding heart," Beau said. She wiped desperately at her face, trying to clear up her own tears.

Caleb shifted and held up his arms in an invitation to a hug. Beau looked over at him with a little sniffle.

"Are you seriously offering a hug?" Beau asked.

"Only if you want one," Caleb said. Beau made extended eye contact with him that was only slightly undercut by her periodic sniffles.

"Fine," Beau said, awkwardly shifting in his arms. She remained straight as a board while he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tighter into the hug. She was still sitting sideways on the sofa, so her face didn't fully face his, though after a moment she leaned more fully into the hug, her face shifting into the crook of his neck.

"Usually, a hug is a team effort," Caleb quipped.

"Shut up," she said, muffled into the fabric of his scarf, "I'm new to this."

"Well, I've been told I'm a good teacher," Caleb said with a smile. 

Beau answered with an exaggerated groan and a muffled "stop."

"Fine, fine," Caleb said, "another time then."

"Don't jinx it," Beau warned him.

[Essek]

"Is all of Xhorhas this miserable?" Veth asked, her feet caught in yet another knot of tangled undergrowth. She untangled her foot from the vegetation and gave it little kick for good measure.

"It comes in different flavors of miserable," Essek said, "though there is a certain beauty to it. And I do still love Rosohna."

"Rosohna is quite beautiful," Caleb agreed from somewhere behind him. 

"Did you spend much time there?" Jester asked.

"We kept a house there for some time that we came back to several times," Caleb said.

"They grew a tree from the roof, which they then strung through with magical lights," Essek said.

"You mentioned that," Beau said, "I take it you weren't with them, then?"

"That was when I was still playing aloof and reporting back to the Bright Queen," Essek responded. 

"We did manage to get him to come over for drinks that one time," Caleb mused, "he even put his feet in the hot tub."

"How scandalous," Veth said, without a hint of humor.

"For him, it's—" Caleb started to say but was cut off by Caduceus, at the front of the pack, holding out an arm.

"We're not alone," he said.

"Oh, goody," Veth said, moments before a figure dropped to the path in front of them, seemingly from the sky. Essek immediately recognized Yasha, looking as she had when he'd first met the Nein, sallow and dark haired. She was covered in unfamiliar armor, and the enormous sword on her back glowed with some sort of energy that Essek would have to use Detect Magic to determine the purpose of, though he was certain it was not pleasant.

"What is your business here?" she nearly growled. From his spot in the middle of the pack, Essek could tell Yasha's eyes were distant, unseeing. Still under Obann's thrall.

"We wished to speak with you, actually," Caleb said, calmly.

"Why would you want that?" Yasha asked, with the delivery of someone not truly understanding the meaning of her words.

"We heard there was a sell-sword in the area who was like, really really good and we were needing someone who is good at melee stuff," Jester piped up, taking several steps toward her, "look at your muscles, they're massive! Can I touch them?"

Yasha blinked, several times, like she was uncertain how to deal with such a request and her puppeteer did not know what to make of the situation. It only lasted a moment, though, before she unsheathed the weapon and held it between her and the rest of the group.

"Keep your distance!" Yasha said, half fearful, half anger.

"Aww, I just wanted to touch your muscles," Jester said, putting on a big pout, "what's the harm in that?"

Jester took a few more steps forward, but Yasha answered by shaking her sword between them again.

"What do you really want?" she asked again, voice gruff.

"She's right, we really were looking for a sell-sword," Caleb said, "your reputation precedes you."

"I don't negotiate my contracts," Yasha answered, apparently putting more stock in Caleb's assertion.

"Well, perhaps you could bring us to the person who does," Caleb said, keeping Yasha's attention on him. At that point Essek noticed Caduceus creeping through the vegetation to the right of Yasha and coming up behind her, arm outraised. Not wanting to give him away, Essek's gaze snapped back to Yasha.

Now that he was aware of Caduceus, he cringed slightly at the crunch of the firbolg's feet on the dry flora in the road, and for once he was grateful that Yasha was not, generally, the most perceptive person.

"Yeah, like, are they willing to lend you out? What are your rates?" Jester rattled off at Yasha, and again Yasha looked unsure of how to answer. 

"I—I don't know. You should talk to him—" Yasha said, but then mid sentence her eyes went wide as behind her Caduceus had come within arms reach, grabbing hold of her shoulder and casting Greater Restoration. The shock of the touch and the calming magic of the Wildmother ran over her, and the moment the magic had run its course she dropped the greatsword to her feet, dropping to her knees.

"What—who are you?" Yasha asked, her voice much smaller than before. Her eyes now looked more focused, but still held a fuzzy quality.

"My name is Caleb Widogast," Caleb said, stepping forward and dropping to his knees in front of Yasha, "and you are Yasha Nydoorin. In another world, we are friends, and in this one I hoped to be able to break you of his thrall."

Yasha blinked at him. "You know who I am?"

"Myself and my friend here," Caleb gestured toward Essek, who stepped up to stand behind him, "we're from another version of this world. In that world, you are our friend. We want to get back there and need your help, if you are willing."

"If I'm willing?" Yasha echoed.

"If you aren't, or don't feel like you can, that's fine. I wanted to help you if I could anyway," Caleb said, voice soft and gentle.

Yasha just blinked at him.

"Caleb, we should get away from this area. The rest of her group is still nearby and likely aren't pleased with recent developments," Essek said, placing a hand on Caleb's shoulder.

"Oh, yes, of course, schatz. We should teleport away?" Caleb said, the last comment becoming a question near the end of the sentence, like he had suddenly become unsure partway through the statement.

"That's for the best," Essek said, coughing to hide his embarrassment over the endearment. "It would give Yasha a moment to acclimate, as well."

"Yasha, would you come with us? We can get you away from here, somewhere we'll be able to better explain things," Caleb said, standing up and holding out a hand to her. Her face was still blank when she took his hand and raised herself back upright, picking up her sword and stowing it on her back.

"Alright," Essek said, "huddle up."

"Where are we going?" Veth asked.

"Away," Essek said, looking to where Caleb had placed a steadying arm around Yasha, as if she would float away without assistance. On her other side, Beau hovered as if she was suddenly unsure of what to do with herself.

"Can't argue with that," Veth said, as Essek scooped them up with his magic and transported them far away.

[Caleb]

"Away," in this case, meant the relative safety of the Grove.

("You took us to a cemetery?" Beau had asked, incredulously.

"Graveyard," Caduceus had corrected without looking.

"It's where we always go when we want somewhere safe and far away," Essek had explained, "I didn't think too much about it.")

For ease, and because he could, Caleb had put up the tower, even though Caduceus had offered to let them take the beds.

And then he'd put it up again, when Yasha had been unable to speak for the first 24 hours after they had arrived.

It was now 38 hours and 14 minutes, plus some change, since Caduceus had snapped Yasha back to herself. Caleb knew that the process couldn't be completed in a day, or even a week or month, and that he and Essek desperately wanted back to their own world, but Caleb couldn't leave Yasha on her own to deal with this, even if it was not the Yasha he knew. And Caleb knew that Essek didn't fault him for this, either.

It was with this hope that he knocked on Yasha's door in the tower. 

He was gratified when he heard two voices call to let him in, though uncertain why so many people were there.

He stepped into Yasha's room to find Yasha and Jester seated next to the fire, Tusk Love open in Jester's hands. Several feet away, Beau lounged on the floor with a cushion underneath her, trying to look disinterested.

"Why, hello," Caleb said, "I did not expect so many faces."

"I'm reading Tusk Love to Yasha! It's getting very good," Jester said, holding the book up for him to see. Caleb noted that the copy was likely the one from Jester’s own room, as the one he left in Yasha’s room was still sitting on the table. "Beau is keeping us company."

Beau grunted from her spot on the floor, arms crossed.

"There are other books in the world, you know that, right Jester?" Caleb asked.

"Mmhhmm, of course I do," Jester said, "maybe I should have read her something like The Courting of the Crick , hmmm?"

Caleb flushed, having forgotten that he had left that book in all the rooms a while ago. Beau, at least, found it amusing, sputtering out a laugh.

"That's a very bad book," Caleb said, "even for your standards."

"You would know, right? Every book in here is one that you've read," Jester said.

"I read bad books too," Caleb said.

"Exactly, so don't get on my case about liking Tusk Love ," Jester said, turning back to Yasha. Yasha, who appeared to be smiling.

"Are you feeling any better?" Caleb asked Yasha.

"Much," Yasha said, "Jester and Beau have been quite kind."

"Aww, you're very sweet yourself!" Jester responded.

"I think I would like to help you get back home," Yasha told him without prompting.

"You don't have to," Caleb said, immediately, "We would appreciate it, but it's not necessary, and we don't want to force you before you're ready."

"No, I want to," Yasha said, stronger this time, "I want to fight for people who ask me to fight for them, not force me to."

"You could always not fight," Jester said, "that's an option too."

"Is it?" Beau asked. 

"I don't know what I would do if I wasn't figuring," Yasha said, seeming to consider the idea, "does the version of me that you know fight as well?"

"On occasion," Caleb said. There was really no good way to tell her that she was mostly a housewife, these days. Not when the wounds were still fresh, and Yasha had not had time to process it all.

"What do I do when I'm not fighting?" Yasha asked.

"Uh," Caleb said, eyes flicking to Beau without thinking. The look Beau sent back was more fragile than he had been expecting. "She likes to garden, mostly. She's been learning to cook, too, to various levels of success."

"Oh," Yasha said, looking at her hands, clenching them. "That sounds nice."

"You did a lot of fighting before you got there, though. And you're still fighting now," Caleb said kindly.

"With you?" Yasha asked.

"By my side, as well as the rest of the Nein," Caleb said. 

"That sounds nice, too," Yasha said. 

Jester tossed her copy of Tusk Love onto the side table and threw herself into Yasha's arms. "I'll fight with you, Yasha, if you want!"

"Oh," Yasha said, dumbfounded and with a lap full of tiefling.

"I will as well," Beau said, more reserved but confident. Yasha looked over to where the monk sat on the ground.

"Ah," Yasha said, wrapping one arm around Jester. "Thank you. All of you."

Caleb gripped one of his sleeves, rubbing his fingers over the fabric in a repetitive motion. It hurt, somewhat, to see all of them acting like tentative friends. To be reminded of the people he missed.

"Caleb?" Yasha asked, "are you okay?"

"Ja, ja," Caleb said, thickly, "just. Homesick." He looked to Beau, who was staring meaningfully at him.

"Well, we're here," Beau said, "we might not be as good as your friends, but if you'll take us—"

"You are good ," Caleb said, "you are so good. And I am glad to have known you. All of you. As you, not as copies of the people I love." His accent was thicker, now, with the weight of how much he meant the words.

"Oh, Caleb!" Jester said, leaning back and grabbing his arm, yanking him into the hug. Caleb yelped, but went willingly—not that he had the strength to resist Jester regardless. It was awkward, with him leaning over the two of them, but he made it work. He heard shuffling behind him and then was enveloped by Beau's wiry arms.

There was a moment before he heard Beau yelp and jump away, noticing a mischievous glint in Jester's eyes.

"You little stinker!" Beau said, flicking her in the back of the head.

"Hey, I had to take the chance I was given," Jester said, "you can't hold that against me!"

"I can and very much will," Beau said, pinching her somewhere Caleb couldn't see from that angle. Jester yelped in response. "Fair is fair."

"Fine, fine," Jester pouted, "you would've done the same though."

"Would not," Beau said.

With a laugh, Caleb extricated himself from what was left of the hug.

"Caleb?" Jester asked, pleasingly.

Caleb held his hands up by head and said, "I'm not getting involved in this."

"Fine, whatever, " Jester said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"I should go check on dinner, if that's all right?" Caleb asked.

"Make sure to ask for pancakes!" Jester said, "and little pastries!"

"Bacon and eggs sounds good to me," Beau added.

"Could we have some crickets, as well?" Yasha asked, prompting the others to turn and stare at her.

"Ja, ja, I'll request all of that," Caleb said, turning to leave the room. Behind him he heard a flurry of energy as the other two questioned Yasha about her food preferences.

[Essek]

"Do either of you know where Caleb went?" Essek asked, honing in on Veth and Beau in the training room after dinner. They appeared to be playing some sort of game where Veth fired arrows at Beau, who tried to either dodge or catch them. Beau seemed to be a bit battered, but the number of loose arrows on her side of the range told him that they'd been going at it for a while already, and that Beau had held her own.

"He and Caduceus left the tower to check on the Grove after dinner," Beau said, knocking away another arrow.

"That was like, an hour or two ago, though," Veth supplied, loading another arrow into her crossbow.

"I see," Essek said, "thank you."

"You gonna go check on them?" Beau asked.

"Of course," Essek said.

"Aight," Beau said, then formed a little cross with her hands at Veth, "time out, I'm gonna accompany squishy here to check on the others."

"Ah, that's not necessary, Beau—" Essek said.

"Nah, you and Caleb stressed the importance of the buddy system and I'm not gonna let him down now," Beau said, "besides, the two of you are wanted by two different governments, can't be too paranoid in that situation."

"Well. I thank you," Essek said with an awkward nod of his head. This Beau had originally been very standoffish with him, and had even seemed opposed to his very presence for a while, but something seemed to have shifted recently. She was still prickly, but that was to be expected. 

The two of them stepped out of the tower into the dark of night—thankfully, as Essek was quite tired of the bright light of day. 

"Where do you think they would have gone?" Beau asked, "you know this place better than me."

"I imagine the gardens or the graveyard proper, though they could also be in the house," Essek said, moving in the direction of the gardens.

"It's really dark out," Beau commented, holding her bo staff out in front of her slightly.

"Ah, yes, I suppose you can't see very well," Essek commented. As if to emphasize the point, Beau tripped over a vine on the ground. Essek grabbed her before she could fall.

"No need to seem so gleeful about it," Beau said, though the words didn't have quite the same malice they might have once had.

"If Caleb was out and about he would certainly be using his dancing lights," Essek said, motioning with his hand to send out his own purple-blue lights to hover in the air near Beau. "Neither him nor Caduceus can see far right now, with just the light of the moons."

"We should check the house, then. There might be lights in there that we can't see," Beau said, turning in the direction of the house. Essek followed.

And yet, they weren't in the house. Nor were they in the garden, or in the graveyard proper.

"Surely your fancy ass darkvision can find them, right?" Beau asked after they had been searching for some time. Essek noted a certain level of worry had crept into her voice.

"If they are around, I should be able to see them. Or they should be able to hear us," Essek said, trying to tamp down on the fear that was bubbling up inside him. They were fine. They just can't hear them, that's all.

"Caleb?" Essek called, "Caduceus?"

"Look, dude, this isn't funny anymore," Beau said, "we followed your buddy system, stopping playing with us."

At that point Essek noted movement, low to the ground near the edge of the Savalirwood. He immediately moved in that direction, Beau picking up his cue and double timing it in the same direction.

"Did you see something?" she asked even as she overshot his own movement.

"Movement near the edge of the woods," Essek said, "low to the ground."

"Got it," she said, booking it in that direction. Knowing she would get there before him, Essek sent his floating lights forward to the spot he had seen it.

They ended up not being necessary, because immediately afterward he heard a muffled groan and noticed pink hair tufting up from the ground. Beau was already crouching beside Caduceus by the time Essek came close.

"Where's Caleb?" Essek asked, not able to stop the question from tumbling out of his mouth.

"Gone," Caduceus said, "the other you took him."

"He took him?" Essek asked, no longer able to keep the worry out of his voice.

"Appeared from the trees. Caleb saw him, managed to get out a counterspell but wasn't able to stop his second spell from immobilizing him. He-" Caduceus coughed, and blood splattered to the ground, "knocked me out."

"How?" Beau asked, immediately going into her Cobalt Soul training, extracting information. 

"Some sort of spell he threw at me, presumably. It knocked me out cold. Did a bit of damage, too, but nothing that should have taken me out otherwise. I don’t know enough about arcane things to be able to tell you more," Caduceus said, shifting upright, "and I didn't come to until I heard you two yelling just now."

"How long ago?" Beau asked.

"We'd probably only been out here for a half hour when it happened. Caleb would have had a better idea," he said, ruefully.

"And it was definitely the other Essek?" Beau asked.

"Yeah, definitely. I got a good look before he took me down," Caduceus responded.

"Where did they go?" Beau asked.

"Not sure," Caduceus said, "I went down before they left."

"He probably teleported," Essek said, doing his best to pull himself out of his terror so as to be useful. They wouldn't find Caleb if he let himself.

"Could he teleport in and out?" Beau asked.

"If he saved his energy, yes. And I find it doubtful that he would brave the Savalirwood alone," Essek said, straightening up. "Come on, let's get back to the tower."

"What? Why?" Beau asked, "any clues are out here."

"Yes, but if we have Jester or Caduceus scry on the other me then perhaps we'll get confirmation on where he went," Essek said.

"Wouldn't he just turn him in to the Bright Queen?" Beau asked, scrambling to her feet and hoisting Caduceus up with her, following Essek.

"No, he knows too much," Essek said, "he'll question Caleb himself and then get rid of him."

"Fuck," Beau said, "Okay, so we need to find Bastard Essek."

Essek couldn't even find the humor in himself to laugh at the moniker.

"Very much so, yes," Essek answered, tightly.

[Caleb]

Caleb came to in a room he immediately recognized as a study in Essek's tower in Rosohna. Quite daring, he thought, for the Shadowhand to take him there, right under the nose of the Bright Queen. He tried to move and noted that his hands were secured to the chair he was seated in, as were his legs. He wiggled his arms to test the strength of his bindings, noting that he could likely slip out if he had some time.

"I see you are conscious again," Caleb heard a familiar voice, so very similar to the one he knew, located at some point over his shoulder. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Very ballsy of you to keep me here, right under the nose of the Bright Queen," Caleb said, eyes still closed.

"So you recognize the location that quickly," the other Essek said, "how curious."

"You're not an idiot, Thelyss, you can put two and two together," Caleb said, "I have been in these towers a number of times. This is your favorite study because the window lets in just enough light that you don't need to light candles, and if you look out you have a decent view of the Lucid Bastion and can keep track of comings and goings."

"It is interesting, trying to determine how you two met and came to be…" the Shadowhand said, still standing at some point behind him, "acquainted."

Caleb snorted. "Ja, ja, I'm sure it's a very fun little puzzle. Look, I'm not interested in playing games, especially not with you."

"What have I done to earn such esteem?" he asked Caleb.

"Like I said, you are no idiot. It shouldn't be hard to figure out," Caleb said, "I care for you, or at least the version of you I know. And you are him, or at least the possibility of him."

At that point the other man came into his view. Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, wearing full regalia, the same as he had when Caleb had first met him. It made his throat dry, and he struggled to swallow. 

Caleb noted the absence of his own components bag and spellbook, removed to neutralize what threat Caleb might pose, and said, "it seems you are overdressed, my friend."

"I do not know you," he sneered, "do not call me friend."

"No," Caleb whispered, "you don't. I'm sorry."

"You think I am sad about this?" the other Essek asked. "You think your mind games are working?"

Caleb looked at him, then, really looked, and recognized what he saw. This Essek was haughty, an apathetic genius, used to getting what he wanted whatever the cost, so long as what he wanted wasn't genuine companionship. And he was disconcerted by Caleb's overtures of friendship, at the fact that he had recognized the inside of his study, the fact that he had looked at him gently and called him friend.

It was a gamble, he knew, but facing this Essek, so unlike his own and yet decidedly reminiscent of the one he first met, he couldn't help but bring himself to try. He could easily write off his own alternate self as beyond help but this Essek hadn't done anything in this reality that he hadn't done in his own. No, the only difference between this Essek and his was that he never got to meet The Mighty Nein, was never shown the love and affection and trust they had gifted him with. The same love and affection and trust that they had shown Caleb. The only way Essek realized that there was another way to be, that his life didn't have to be like this.

"I'm sorry for what the world did to you, my friend," Caleb said, voice husky, accent thick. Yes, it was a gamble to play this tactic, but as he made eye contact with a version of the man he loved he knew he would hate himself more if he didn't try.

"What in the world do you mean?" the Shadowhand asked, guarded but letting his curiosity get the better of him, as Caleb thought it might. 

"You are not much different from my Essek," Caleb started, briefly registering the raised eyebrow at him saying 'my Essek.' 

"As I am to understand, he is but an alternate version of myself, so that comment seems redundant," he responded.

"True," Caleb said with a small smile, "fundamentally, I am the same person you know as Archmage Ermendrud. And yet he and I made very different decisions in our lives that set us on much different paths. The flashpoint between yourself and my Essek, however, isn't due to a choice you made but rather a choice you were never offered. A choice you never realized was possible."

"You certainly like riddles as much as your double, Echo," other Essek mused, cautious but clearly intrigued by what Caleb was saying. Caleb tried to squash a smile at the recognition of Essek's curiosity getting the better of him.

"I do not mean to sound egotistical when I say this, but in this universe you never met The Mighty Nein. And that is a very dark universe indeed," Caleb told him. This startled a chuckle out of the Shadowhand. 

"You mean to tell me you think that I am who I am today simply because I never met your gang of mercenaries?" he asked, amusement breaking through his unapproachable guise. "That is hard to believe, indeed."

"I knew you would have a hard time believing that without something to back it up," Caleb told him, pointing cautiously over to his component pouch, hidden across the room. "If you will indulge me?"

"One does not indulge Archmage Ermendrud when he reaches for his component pouch," the Shadowhand said, harshly, raising a hand to put a stop to Caleb's forward motion, even though the binding had already done that for him.

"I simply wish to cast Programmed Illusion," Caleb responded, "you could simply give me the jade and fleece that is required to cast it. I would not have access to my other materials, and you could rest assured knowing that I can only cast this one spell."

The other man quirked an eyebrow, seemingly to consider. "If you wish to waste your energy, be my guest."

"Always so considerate," Caleb joked with a lopsided smile. He was so like the man he loved, just lonelier, more arrogant and cloaked in his own self-importance. He had never been given the chance to take his guard down.

After being handed the required components and having his hands—but not his feet—freed from their bindings, Caleb went through the familiar motions of the spell, telegraphing every movement so that there would be no suspicion as to his intent. It could be a mistake to use such a high level spell for something that very likely wouldn't work, but Caleb had to try.

And with that thought, images blossomed between the two of them.

Caleb was capable of remembering a great many things, and he had made a special effort to remember his and the Nein's interactions with Essek. It was important, then, to give these images the feeling that they had happened rather than being simple illusions cobbled together in Caleb's mind. And with those parameters in mind, Caleb released his version of the history of their friendship with Essek.

The first image that burst forth between them was of Caleb, dirty and huddled in front of the rest of the Nein, making eye contact with the Bright Queen, Shadowhand by her side. Of Caleb pulling the beacon from their bag of holding and presenting it to the Bright Queen, his words—"I am of the Empire. But I am no friend to the Empire"—reverberates as the image shows Essek's almost imperceptible response.

The image dissipates and shows Jester hugging a visually discomfited Essek, of Beau nudging him with an elbow as she tried to convince him to come in for drinks.

It shows Essek saying, "show me something impressive," and Caleb casting Cat's Ire to open the door to their home, giving him a little flourish of a bow as he did so. It shows the tilt of Essek's head as he considers Caleb, briefly, then agreeing to teach him with his own sly smile.

The image shifts to show the two of them at a table in the Xhorhaus, huddled close so as to inspect Essek's spellbook, laid out on the table before them. Behind them the entire Mighty Nein is visible as they peek out from behind the door frame in various levels of subtlety, attempting to get a glimpse at what the wizards were doing.

Then Caleb is interrogating the vollstrucker, kneeling before her and speaking in quiet Zemnian. It shows the scramble as the vollstrucker had leapt forward with a jagged edge, of Caleb casting a frantic counterspell that fizzles out with nothing to counter, of Jester bashing the vollstrucker with her shield, and Essek, calm and collected, reaching forward and hoisting her high into the air. Of him killing her with the signal from Caleb.

It shows Essek, cautious as he floats in their doorway, clutching an expensive bottle of wine like it was his lifeline. It shows Beau yanking him into the house with a loud "You don't have to float around us, man," that prompts Essek to remove his mantle and place two feet on the ground, joining the rest of the Nein in their precarious array across the floor of the living room. Of him settling on the couch between Caleb and Jester, being peppered with curious but well meaning questions. The image shifts to the Nein getting into the hot tub, in various levels of undress, and it shows Essek tentatively removing his socks and shoes, rolling up his pants, and sticking his legs into the hot tub with the rest of them.

And then the three of them—himself, Essek, and Veth—huddled together in Essek's lab, spitballing ideas together until there's a breakthrough and Caleb gleefully pulls the two of then in for a hug, Veth's expression mirroring his own and Essek's looking on in wonder at the arm over his shoulder.

It shows the Nein, shocked and aghast as they watch him speak to Ludinus Da'leth, Essek visibly uncomfortable and telling him "you should try friends sometime." It shows the Nein bundling Essek away from the party and onto the deck of the Ball Eater, of the group of them huddled around him while he sits, hands bound and slumped between them, face downturned and refusing to make eye contact. Of the Nein taking turns between telling him off for his treachery and welcoming him as no different from the lot of them. "You were not born with venom in your veins," Caleb had said to Essek. "You learned it." This image of Caleb says, "Maybe you and I are both damned. But we can choose to do something, and leave it better than it was before," while gripping his shoulder and pressing a gentle kiss to the center of Essek's forehead.

It shows them meeting Essek at the Vurmas outpost, of Jester running in and hugging him as soon as she sees him, of the way that Essek had refused to meet their eyes for so long and had desperately avoided Caleb's gaze. Then Caleb had gripped Essek's arm and told him "it takes time ."

And the image shifts to Caleb's tower, of the two of them floating in tandem through the middle, ending on the ninth floor, the floor Caleb had dedicated to the luxon beacon and the infinite possibilities contained within. Of the two of them, floating gently in the void, discussing their sins and how they wished to move forward, as Essek says, fondness in his voice, "I'm pretty sure, young man." 

And then Essek is placing down the runes for the experimental spell to restore them before fighting Lucien, Caleb sitting across from him, reviewing his work and anchoring the magic. Their friends clustered over their shoulders curiously as the two go through complex equations and magical theory in an echo of their first time studying together. Of the excitement when the spell succeeded against the odds.

Of a building crashing, landing on top of Caleb, pinning him to the ground. Of Essek, dodging out of the fight to pull Caleb from the rubble, barely used muscles straining, time rewinding itself so that Essek could ensure he extricated Caleb. 

It shows Essek's fury as he watches Caleb fall before him, of the powerful gravity fissure Essek sends at Lucien in response.

And then they’re at the Grove, and Caleb is standing firm, facing down Trent Ikithon with Essek by his side, preparing to fling a gravity sinkhole at him. 

Of Caleb leaving a lingering kiss on his cheek with an admonishment that he not be a stranger, the hanging vines and tree limbs of the Grove framing them.

It shifts, yet again, to Aeor. To Caleb and Essek, pouring over long forgotten books and scrolls, uncovering magic that had been long lost to history. Of them gathered in Caleb's tower, table covered in notes and makeshift maps. Of Essek, continuing to read even after Caleb, in his human exhaustion, had passed out on his shoulder, one of Essek's arms thrown around Caleb to steady him.

In between it all Caleb inserts interactions he witnessed but wasn't privy to—a quiet word with Fjord away from the group; digging in the dirt with Caduceus, the brim of Essek's sun hat almost impossibly large on his head; Beau handing him a book with an affectionate punch to the shoulder that causes Essek to visibly wince; Yasha and Essek inspecting flowers together, Essek pausing to explain something; Jester wrapping him in colorful clothes and wild facepaint, a crudely drawn dick visible on Essek's jawline; Essek, hunched over and speaking in low tones to Veth and Yeza, who looks cautious but open to to his presence; Kingsley yanking him by the arm to perform a dance neither of them know, the tiefling half dragging Essek around the room while he looks helplessly back at the rest of the Nein.

Caleb allows the images to loop for the spell's duration, glancing back at the Shadowhand across from him. The other Essek, hands clenched by his side, one hand still holding Caleb's components pouch. He bit his lip as he watched the images loop; one of his fangs appeared to have drawn blood, not that Essek seemed to have noticed. 

"Why…" he started, then stopped, watching as the image of Jester throwing herself into his arms reappeared. He regained his voice and said, "why are you showing this to me?"

"You wanted to know what separated yourself from my Essek. This is it," Caleb told him. Essek’s ear twitched, then laid low against his head.

"This is the only thing?" he asked.

"As far as I can tell, everything is the same for you up until meeting The Mighty Nein," Caleb said, "though I am going based off of Cobalt Soul records, which aren't the most detailed about Dynasty politics."

"Nothing is different about me other than that I never met you," he repeated.

"Ja," Caleb said, but quietly. Essek's eyes tracked the ephemeral image of Caleb pressing a kiss to Essek's cheek with a squeeze of the arm.

"You and he are…together, I take it?" he asked, the question seeming to slip out without a thought based on the way his ears pull tight to his head after he says it.

"It is complicated," Caleb said, not for the first time. 

The other Essek gave a bitter laugh. "Is that your way of saying you're stringing him along?"

Caleb blinked and was surprised by the anger in his voice when he said, "I would not—" before reigning himself in and taking a deep breath. "I have another fifty years in me, tops. In twenty I will be an old man, and Essek will still be…Essek."

"He cares for you," the Shadowhand stated, as if that negated everything that Caleb had just said.

"I am given to believe that, ja," Caleb said.

"I have never looked at someone the way he looked at you in these memories," this Essek said, holding a hand up to touch the image in front of him, causing a mild distortion in the effect. "I have never looked at anyone the way he looks at all of you."

"We care about him," Caleb said simply, "and I believe the feeling is mutual."

Other Essek continued to worry at his lip, exacerbating the cut he had caused previously.

"Essek," Caleb said, and the other man jolted at hearing his name. "Bitte, stop biting your lip, you're making yourself bleed."

He blinked, holding up a hand to touch his lip, coming away bloody. 

"Excuse me," he said thickly before quickly exiting the room, taking Caleb's components pouch with him. 

Caleb closed his eyes and dropped his head against the back of his chair, breathing deeply, before opening his eyes once more and getting to work on the bindings on his legs.

Chapter Text

[Essek]

It had been their only option, once they realized that Caleb was being kept in Essek's tower, for Essek to teleport in alone. They could not sneak through Rosohna in a group such as their's, certainly not in the Firmaments, and Essek could teleport into his tower without setting off any of the security measures. The rest of the group hadn't liked it, but it had been the most expedient choice.

He had promised to retrieve Caleb quickly. 

Now, as he crept through the shadows of his old home, alert to signs of his other self, he noted how disturbing the entire concept was, especially considering how long it had been since he had been able to just exist in this tower, or at least his version of it. At least he knew what room Caleb was being kept in and could go directly there, in hopes that he could teleport them both away without anyone noticing his presence.

It was deeply unsettling yet again, as he crept around the corner where the room was located, to notice his alternate self exit the room quickly, leaving the door open in his haste. Essek had snatched his head back around the corner in fear of discovery, but relaxed ever so slightly upon hearing the sound of the mantle swishing in the other direction. He waited a moment longer before creeping around the corner and darting into the room, as sneakily as he could despite his pounding heart.

There he found Caleb bent over in a chair, wrestling with the binding attaching his legs to the chair. He approached as quietly as he could, aware that his double could be back at any time.

“Caleb!” he whispered to him once he became even with him, and Caleb yanked out of his bent posture to look at him.

“Essek,” Caleb said, giving him a warm smile, which then furrowed, “what are you doing here? You’re in danger.”

“Odd, coming from the one strapped to a chair,” Essek said, bending over to inspect Caleb’s bindings. He reached into his pack to retrieve the dagger he kept for emergencies, slipping it delicately under the rope and freeing Caleb’s legs from the chair.

“Ja, well, I had it at least somewhat under control,” Caleb said, standing up and shaking out his limbs before walking over where his spellbook had been hastily placed inside the desk.

“Where’s your pouch?” Essek asked.

“He was holding it,” Caleb said, sheepishly.

Essek sighed, walking over to stand next to Caleb, further away from the view of the door. “Not much we can do about that. Is it worth it to try to retrieve it?”

Caleb began to respond, but then a voice erupted in Essek’s mind, saying—

ESSEK, SORRY, NOT TO WORRY YOU BUT EVIL CALEB FOUND US AND HE BROUGHT HIS INTIMIDATING FRIENDS WITH HIM AND WE COULD REALLY USE HELP

Essek blinked in surprise, working through a billion different reactions before responding, “ Understood, Jester, I have found Caleb and we will be returning as soon as we can. Please be careful and stay safe .”

“Something wrong?” Caleb asked.

“The archmage found them,” Essek answered, grabbing hold of Caleb’s arm. Caleb blinked in surprise.

"When it rains, it pours," Caleb muttered under his breath. Essek could only sigh and ready himself to teleport the two of them back to the Grove.

“Let me do it, you’ve already cast it once today,” Caleb said, holding out a hand to stop Essek's motions. Where Essek's spellcasting was neat, precise, almost geometric, Caleb's were almost theatrical. 

“Of course,” Essek said, shifting close and keeping an eye on the door while tracking Caleb's motion in his peripheral.

Which, of course, was when the other Essek came back to the room.

“What are you-” he said, as Caleb began the incantation for the spell. His eyes widened upon seeing the other Essek, then leapt across the room at both of them as the spell took hold and yanked them across the continent for the second time that day.

The spell spilled them directly into chaos, and Essek immediately noticed that the magic seemed to have snatched the other Essek along with them. Caleb seemed to register this at the same time both of the Esseks did.

“Scheisse!” Caleb yelped, yanking Essek backward from a large blast of fire.

Essek managed to avoid the majority of the blast, thanks to Caleb, but the other version of him caught the full brunt of the attack, spinning in place even as his mantle billowed fire. Following his eyeline, Essek registered a grinning Archmage Ermendrud, arm still outstretched from the attack, flanked on one side by Astrid and by Eadwulf on the other.

“I suppose I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth,” Bren commented, sounding almost gleeful to have caught the other Essek in the blast. It was in a manner that gave Essek a pang of familiarity; it was so reminiscent of Caleb, and how he reacted to a new discovery or a well cast spell.

“Uh, guys! Did you mean to bring back Evil Essek?” Jester yelled from her spot several feet away from them.

“He jumped into my range as I was casting, I don’t know if the spell was confused by there being two Esseks or if I accidentally brought him along because I thought of him as I finished the spell,” Caleb said, shaking out his hands and putting some distance between himself and both Esseks. 

“Fortuitous for me,” Bren commented, readying another attack, "I see my counterpart in the Dynasty had a similar idea, attempting to catch you unaware. Though I suppose, the group of you are not exactly the most difficult to track."

"It'll go just as well for you as it did for him, dickbag," Jester yelled at him, having put yet more space between herself and Bren while he was distracted with the new arrivals. Bren turned a glare at her that Essek found almost childish—akin to when Caleb and Jester pestered each other like siblings, in their own world. Jester simply returned his glare with a stuck up tongue. Bren returned his attention to Caleb and the two Esseks, readying another spell.

Recognizing this battle would be extremely lopsided if he didn’t get his shit together, Essek pulled a black marble out of his pouch and shot off a gravity sinkhole into the middle of the three wizards on the other side of the field, effectively yanking all of them off their feet and disrupting whatever Caleb had been about to cast.

“Fuckin finally!’ Beau yelled, which was when Essek noticed her behind the bulk of Eadwulf, kicking his legs out from under him. The larger man went down with a heavy thud and a grunt that Essek could hear from where he was.

At that point Essek registered the rest of their group spread about the area; Jester was near the two Esseks and Caleb had teleported in, with some distance between herself and the wizards; Caduceus, likewise, was scattered to the other side of the Assembly wizards, closer to the Clay home; Beau was strafing Eodwulf and dodging point-blank casting from Astrid, while Yasha flanked his other side; Veth was, predictably, not easily spotted, but Essek assumed she somewhere behind the treeline on the far side of Ermendrud.

Who was, predictably, staring them down directly.

[Caleb]

Caleb didn’t have his components, which made this entire prospect much more difficult, with only spells without material components at his disposal. Shooting off a quick fire bolt at his doppelganger, he shifted further away from the two Esseks, hoping to make them less of a target. He was still waiting to see what the other Essek intended to do about the situation he landed himself in.

What he didn’t expect, however, was for the other Essek to look at him and chuck his components pouch at him with the gracelessness of someone who rarely needed to throw things with pinpoint accuracy. It was with a fumbled grasp that he even managed to catch it, stowing it back on the spot on his hip where he typically kept it. Without making eye contact with him, the other Essek shifted away from him as well, hurling his own gravity sinkhole at the three wizards.

This turn of events brought a snarl to Bren’s face.

“What, did you win him over as well?” he asked, “What did you do this time?”

“Nothing,” Caleb said, “I didn’t do anything.”

This was not a satisfying answer for Bren, nor was the solid hit Yasha managed on him as he said it.

“Stop saying such shitty things with Caleb’s face!” she shouted as she slashed him across the chest, sending him to one knee. He turned and appeared to assess the battlefield, recognizing the tide was not in his favor. Behind him, Eadwulf slashed Beau across the thigh, drawing out a gurgle of pain from her.

Gritting his teeth, Bren set his sights on Caleb, sprinting out the range of Yasha, narrowly ducking her sword as he went. Caleb recognized the components of a scorching ray attack, and scrabbled backwards to avoid first one, then a second ray, but he ran out of space to avoid the third ray, his back landing solidly against a tree at the edge of the Savalirwood. The third ray caught him with full force, and Caleb felt the familiar and excruciating sensation of burning flesh. 

Then the fourth ray caught him solidly as well, and he yelped, realizing he had assumed Bren had done the most basic version of the scorching ray spell.

He heard Essek yell his name distantly, and looked up to register a fifth ray coming his direction. The damage from the first fireball, combined with these hits, had left him distinctly singed, and his reaction time wasn’t going to be enough, he knew this, so he simply braced himself for the fifth impact as best he could. 

An impact that never came.

He looked up to see the other Essek—Shadowhand Essek, his mantle smoldering with leftover flames from the first fireball. The air in front of them shimmered with the tell-tale signs of magic, and Caleb immediately recognized a globe of invulnerability shielding the both of them in place.

“What?” Caleb said, mostly to himself.

“Don’t make me regret it,” the Shadowhand said, arm still raised in front of the both of them from casting the spell—Caleb could see him holding the glass bead needed to cast it outstretched in front of them. 

“I care about him,” Caleb responded, “that means I care about you. I’ll protect you as well, if I can.”

The Shadowhand swallowed heavily and turned away from him, not responding.

“Caleb!” his Essek yelled.

Caleb poked a head out from behind the large mantle of the Shadowhand.

“I’m still here!” Caleb yelled, loping out from behind the other Essek and trying to put some distance between himself and the other Essek, hoping that perhaps he could draw fire away from them while his friends chipped away at the wizards.

The same tactic they’d used with Ikithon, a part of Caleb’s brain registered.

Shaking himself, he ducked below a bolt of energy he believed came from Astrid, and prepared to cast haste on Yasha, still taking on the tangle of wizards between their group. While Caleb had spent much of the battle ducking out of the way of spells, the others had been wearing them down, and Bren now looked notably weary, while Eadwulf, flanking him, looked ready to drop.

He made eye contact with Bren, whose fire seemed to dull somewhat as the battle turned against him. He looked ready to drop.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Caleb said, voice carrying the short distance between them.

Bren grimaced at him.

“You’d say anything you can to save your skin,” Bren told him, “I would know. I’m you.”

“Perhaps you could have been, once upon a time, but our paths diverged long ago, when you decided the murder of innocents was acceptable to you,” Caleb said.

“And what would you suggest?” Bren said, wiping blood out of his eyes from a cut on his forehead, “You saw what I did. You experienced what I did. What about that convinced you that this world could be any better than what it already was?”

“I always thought I was weak, you know?” Caleb said, holding his hands up where Bren could see that he was not in the middle of casting something. “When I set fire to our house, to my parents, I snapped. The reality of what I had done hit me, and I couldn’t go on. Years later, I thought that was a sign of weakness, that I wasn’t capable of doing what was necessary. I realized later, after traveling with the Nein, how very wrong that was.”

“Oh? Please, enlighten me. What was it?” Bren asked, the smirk back on his face.

“It was Ikithon’s manipulation. The man was the Archmage of Civil Influence for a reason. He knew exactly what to say to get me to torture countless innocents, what to say to get me to kill my own parents, whose only sin was to love me,” Caleb said, voice tight. His accent was getting thicker, he knew, and he considered switching to Zemnian for ease. “The world is much bigger than that miserable rodent of a man.”

“I know,” Bren said, “I killed him.”

“Indeed,” Caleb agreed, “And now you are him. You are perpetuating the wrongs he did to yourself on others, now, and have become the very thing you despised.”

“And what would you suggest?” Bren asked him. The sounds of the battlefield were faint, and Caleb distantly registered both Esseks hovering near him, out of arm's reach but close enough to intervene if necessary. Behind Bren, Astrid and Eadwulf were flagging, a few solid hits away from going down themselves. Astrid was clearly keeping a keen eye on the interaction between Bren and Caleb, but with the rest of the not-Nein strafing her, she couldn’t give them too much of her attention.

“Make the world a better place,” Caleb said, “Leave the world better than we found it. Ensure that the love of magic is not a death sentence, nor a corrupting influence.”

Bren was silent for a moment, reading him, his intentions and his words. Caleb kept his eyes on him, gaze steady and calm. He could feel the ends of his coat still smoking, the leftover flames from the fireball and scorching rays that he had been hit with, and he waved his hand over the end so as to put out any lingering flames.

“It has to be worth something,” Bren eventually croaked out, “It has to have meant something.”

“Sometimes people do evil things for no reason,” Caleb said, “Ikithon certainly did.”

“We didn’t deserve it,” Bren said, and though he was older than Caleb was now, he suddenly felt much younger. The weight of the lost childhood, years lost to assassination and murder and torture, settled on the both of them.

“No, we didn’t,” Caleb said, “and we can’t change what was done to us. But we can change what we do to others. We can choose to stop the cycle.”

Bren shook his head. “Not now. I’ve come too far down this road. I made my choice decades ago, and there’s nothing I can do about that, or what I’ve done.”

“It’s never too late,” Caleb said, “doing good isn’t a zero sum game. It isn’t the matter of a single choice; we choose our actions every day, in each moment. We keep choosing, day by day. And what we choose to do can change from one day to the next.”

“I can’t—” Bren choked out, “I’ve done so much. No one could forgive it.” Around them, the others had left a wide berth, as the battle continued to rage but not for them. No attacks came their way, though they stood in the middle of it all.

“Perhaps,” Caleb said, “but I believe that’s up to other people, not you. You shouldn’t expect forgiveness, but you can take it when it is offered.”

Bren looked ready to respond, but then there was a gurgle from behind him as Eadwulf went down with a spray of blood.

“Wulf!” Ermendrud yelled, spinning on his heels and nearly tripping in his haste to get to his fallen comrade. Behind him, Astrid let out a shriek and sent lightning hurtling towards Yasha, who had just felled Eadwuld.

Caleb was caught in his desire to save the alternate versions of his friends, and knowing there’s only so much he can do, when someone has decided the path they are on. This conversation was all well and good, but Bren was right—it could not undo all of the wrongdoing Bren had done. Perhaps he intercedes now, saves them, and the three of them only go on to continue their reign of terror another day.

But perhaps not. There were so many variables.

“Go to them,” Essek told him. He’d come closer since Bren had stopped talking to him. “You want to.”

“What if he tries to kill us again? What if I can’t stop our friends?” Caleb asked, voice dry, “what if I save him and he goes on to keep doing what he’s been doing?”

“We’ll deal with that when we get there. Just go, now, or you’ll regret it,” Essek told him, a gentle touch on his back. His hair was burnt at the ends, and a few embers still flickered in it. Caleb reached up and quickly brushed them out of Essek’s hair before leaning forward to place a kiss on his cheek. 

“Thank you,” Caleb said, before taking off running to where Bren was screaming at his friends from over Eadwulf’s prone body, shooting sparks and lobbing fire bolts at anyone who looked in their direction. Caleb tumbled a bit at the end of his run, coming down hard onto his knees next to his own doppelganger on the ground.

“What are you—” Bren yelled, and Caleb recognized the motions of a melee spell attack as Bren reached out to Caleb.

“Trust me!” Caleb said, grabbing Eadwulf’s jaw and forcing one of his emergency healing potions into his mouth. There was an immediate full body shudder and Eadwulf jolted back upright, frantically grabbing for his sword before taking in the sight of both Caleb and Bren at his side. 

Bren was staring openly at Caleb.

As were most of his friends.

“Let me guess,” Beau said, arms crossed and bloodied, keeping her distance now that the wizards were regrouping and she wasn’t immediately expected to fight them, “couldn’t watch a friend die? Even one who was just trying to kill you.”

“You know me,” Caleb said weakly. “I couldn’t watch him die.”

“Awful rude of you to undo all our handiwork,” Jester pouted from several feet away.

“Hardly all of it,” Caleb quipped, “More like, half of one of Beau’s punches. Just enough to get him conscious again.”

“Why?” Bren asked, cradling Eadwulf’s head in his lap. Eadwulf was breathing heavily and staring at Caleb, as if he too wanted to ask the question.

“He’s my friend,” Caleb said, “or at least, he could have been. And we spared ours, as well.”

“You came to blows?” Bren asked.

“When Ikithon made his final attempt on my life, he brought Astrid and Wulf,” Caleb said, “Astrid turned on him during the fight, and Wulf was downed before that. We brought him back, too.”

“I assumed—” Bren said, then trailed off.

“We have all done bad things in our life. I wanted to give them another chance,” Caleb said, looking down at this alternate version of Eadwulf, looking very much like his own, though his hair was significantly more gray at the temples. “Like I was given. Like we gave Essek.”

Bren swallowed hard, looking at Eadwulf and then over his shoulder at Astrid. Astrid, who was battered as well, stood away from the group, suspicious and untrusting despite Caleb’s olive branch. At Bren’s look, she joined them, placing a hand on his shoulder. Bren took a deep breath and met Caleb’s eyes.

“We will withdraw, if you let us,” Bren said, “and we will…we will consider our priorities.”

“You better do a bit more than that, if you wanna ensure I don’t kick your ass all over again,” Beau said.

Bren eyed her. “I wouldn’t have imagined you to be the do-gooder type, High Curator.”

“Neither would I, before all this,” Beau said with a shrug, “I guess people change.”

Ermendrud scowled at her. “I still don’t like you.”

“The feeling is extremely mutual,” Beau said, “but don’t let that convince you that you shouldn’t try to earn my respect. Caleb managed it, so you clearly have the capacity.”

“I trust that there are people here to keep you in line, should you decide to disregard my advice,” Caleb told him, standing up, “But please, do consider it.”

He removed himself from Bren, Astrid, and Eadwulf, allowing them to huddle together for a teleport. When Bren and Eadwulf stood, Eadwulf nearly buckled again with the weight of his injuries, causing both Bren and Astrid to flank him in order to support his weight between them.

“Behave,” Beau said as Astrid began the incantation. Bren gave her a dirty look.

“Take your own advice,” Bren said, lifting his chin in a proud look that was undercut slightly by the purple bruise spreading across his right cheek. “If this alternate path could win over the loyalty of the Shadowhand to the Bright Queen, perhaps I should give it a thought.”

“Helps that we were kicking your ass,” Beau said.

“Believe what you wish,” Bren said, “we shall see what happens.”

In that moment Astrid continued the incantation, and the three of them blinked from existence.

There was a silence in the moments after they left. The rest of them began to gather up, silently, as the clerics took stock of wounds and doled out heals as needed.

“That was stupid,” Beau said, looking meaningfully at Caleb, “but I appreciate your trust that we would be able to handle him in the future. As colossally idiotic as it is to just let him leave.”

“Thanks,” Caleb said with a grimace, “your opinion is duly noted, but what’s done is done.” 

“I know,” Beau said, “I just hope we don’t come to regret your naivete.”

“As do I,” Caleb said, turning away to stare numbly into the Savalirwood. It had been an idiotic decision, and he knew that he should not have let himself be cowed by the presence of Astrid and Eadwulf, but knowing that his Astrid and Wulf had been able to redirect their energy, he couldn’t help  but think it was possible here as well, even years down the line. 

He almost wished Essek had held firm and taken down Bren while he had the chance, taking the decision out of his hands. But he was uncertain if his Essek would have been able to fight someone with his face, and the Shadowhand had only been following his lead at this point.

Caleb saw the other Essek lingering on the outskirts of their huddled group, and with a meaningful look to his Essek, he carefully made his way through the tangled graves to speak to him. The moment he caught sight of Caleb coming his way he appeared shaken, as if he somehow had not expected him to approach.

“Thank you,” Caleb said, ducking close enough to be heard easily and not overheard, “For the shield. And my components.”

“It was no trouble,” the Shadowhand told him, not meeting his eyes. Caleb decided not to mention the fact that he was still smoldering slightly from the fire, and instead simply dispersed the flames with a wave of his hand.

“You’re still here,” Caleb commented, when he did not say anything further.

“I do not have the energy to manage a teleportation spell, at this point,” he answered, fiddling with the folds of his mantle. 

“So I stranded you unintentionally,” Caleb said with a laugh. The other Essek shot him a glare. “Right, right, I am sorry. It was an accident.”

“I know this,” he said. “I do not blame you.”

“You don’t need to lurk,” Caleb said, “they only bite a little bit.”

“They already have one Essek Thelyss,” the Shadowhand said, “there is little use for two.”

“Ah, but you forget that you are a different person. It is my belief that they have become fond of Essek over this time, so it seems likely that you could grow on them. If you wanted to, at least,” Caleb told him.

The other Essek continued to fiddle with his mantle, and Caleb noted that he was chewing on his lip again; it was a habit he had noticed on his own Essek, when he was nervous or thoughtful. The presence of fangs made the habit slightly more precarious, and Caleb noted him worrying the same spot as earlier.

Caleb reached out and put a hand on one of his arms, and Caleb could feel him tense up immediately. “You’re chewing on the same spot as earlier. You will cause it to bleed again.”

The comment caused him to cease all motion, including the chewing of his lip. Caleb removed his hand. “Sorry, that was too familiar. You look like my Essek, I forget that you might not be as receptive to it.”

“Your Essek has not stopped staring since you came over here,” the Shadowhand told him, “I do not believe he appreciated that touch.”

Caleb huffed a bit of laughter. “You might be projecting.”

“I believe he is jealous,” the Shadowhand said.

“Of himself?” Caleb asked, incredulously.

“As you so kindly reminded me, he and I are different people,” the other Essek said, “and I do believe he is not feeling terribly secure right now.”

“I will assuage his fears if you join the rest of the group,” Caleb said.

“They do not want me there,” he told him.

“None of them wanted to be here at first. They’ve grown on each other. You might be surprised,” Caleb said, taking a step back out of the other Essek’s space. “Give it a try, at least.”

The Shadowhand closed his eyes and took a deep breath, already looking so much different from the calm and cool persona he typically projected to the world. “Fine. I will.”

“Good!” Caleb said, “Now, if you don’t mind, I will go speak to Essek.”

Splitting away from the other Essek—and noting that he did indeed go to join the rest of the group—Caleb moved in Essek’s direction, located close enough to assist Caleb if necessary but not close enough to eavesdrop unnecessarily. He was leaning against a tree in what was perhaps an attempt at looking casual, but to Caleb it simply screamed nerves.

“I have been informed that you are perhaps jealous,” Caleb said by way of greeting, “is there accuracy in this assessment?”

Essek answered this question with a squawk and a visible flush. Which, perhaps, did answer the question in a way.

“I was simply making sure he did not try anything,” Essek said, “what reason would I have to be jealous of a version of myself who is only just meeting you?”

“Touché. I don’t know why you would be, either,” Caleb said, stepping close to Essek and turning to look at the rest of the group.

“You told him to join the others?” Essek asked as Caleb settled against the tree beside Essek, arms touching.

“It was better than him awkwardly hanging out at the edge. Maybe he grows on them. Maybe not. Figured I might as well try, since he’s tapped of his powerful spells and can’t leave anyway,” Caleb said with a shrug that rubbed his arm up against Essek.

“What did you say to him, before, when he had you in his tower?” Essek asked, “the gap between capturing you for information and jumping in front of a spell meant for you is quite large, and yet you seemed to bridge it in a matter of hours.”

“I didn’t say anything. I used Programmed Image to show him what a difference the Nein made in your life,” Caleb said.

“Ah. I see,” Essek said. “That must have been overwhelming.”

“Yes, it did seem to be,” Caleb agreed.

“And that made him run out of the room so frantically?” Essek asked.

“Ah, nein. He was doing that thing you do when you’re thinking too hard, where you chew on your lip. He had broken skin with one of his fangs, so I told him to stop, because he was making it bleed,” Caleb said, “the reaction seemed disproportionate, so I imagine he just didn't know what to do with the entire situation.”

“You showed care for his well-being,” Essek said, “I imagine that might have been the breaking point for him.”

“Telling him not to chew his lip? That’s pretty minor,” Caleb asked.

“I’ve been told to stop biting my lip multiple times in my life, but it was always because of propriety, or because it was rude. Never do I remember someone telling me to stop because it might have been hurting me,” Essek told him.

Caleb looped his arm through Essek’s and placed his head on Essek’s shoulder. The position required him to lean over slightly, as Essek was notably shorter than him when standing on the ground, but Essek didn’t move away so Caleb assumed it wasn’t uncomfortable for him.

“Are you alright?” Essek asked after a moment.

“Ja, why?” Caleb asked.

“You just had a literal argument with yourself,” Essek said, pointedly.

“Ah, ja, that. Well. I have been better. More than anything I am worried that he won’t take it to heart. That he really is too far gone,” Caleb said.

“He isn’t you,” Essek said, cutting to the heart of the matter.

“But he could have been,” Caleb said, “the possibility was there.”

“The universe is filled with limitless possibilities. If we read too much into those possibilities and what they mean about ourselves we will simply drive ourselves mad,” Essek said.

“I know. But I want things to work out. He thinks this is how things have to be. But all of them,” Caleb gestured with a hand to the rest of the group, huddled together and talking as they rested after the battle, Essek still on the outskirts but definitely part of the group, “they thought the same thing. And I think they’re realizing that it doesn’t have to be this way, that they can do better.”

“What was that about only being able to control your own actions?” Essek asked.

“Ja, ja, I know,” Caleb said, “I’m just thinking about it right now.”

“I know, I understand,” Essek said.

“He’s looking this way,” Caleb said, his comment muffled slightly by the fabric of Essek’s tunic. The other Essek was indeed looking their way, though he seemed to be attempting subtlety. He only stopped when Jester jumped across the group and plopped down in his lap, earning a yelp that Caleb could hear from there. 

“You did a number on him,” Essek said.

“I feel bad about telling all of them about how fantastic their lives are in our world and then leaving them,” Caleb said, “I’ve grown close to them, as well, separate from our friends.”

“I have had the same thought, but then you must remember that you introduced them to each other,” Essek said, “they could try to build their own stories with each other, should they choose.”

“Hmm, you’re right,” Caleb said thoughtfully.

“I do feel bad for the other version of me, though,” Essek said.

Caleb hummed, an invitation for him to elaborate. Essek turned an amused glance at him.

“He won’t be able to build anything close to what we have,” Essek explained, “what with your double being…complicated, and definitely uninterested.”

“Uninterested?” Caleb prompted. Caleb felt the embarrassed ear flick more than saw it, and smiled into Essek’s shoulder.

“You know what I mean,” Essek said, enigmatically. They danced around the subject, as always. What wasn’t said lingered between them, comfortable but growing. It would need to be addressed eventually, but for now Caleb allowed himself the comfort of it, without the complication that talking about it would invite.

“Ja, of course,” Caleb said with a yawn.

“You should sleep,” Essek told him, turning his head to inspect him more thoroughly, “how many hours of sleep do humans need again? Twelve?”

“Essek,” Caleb said, long-suffering. 

“I can float you to bed, if you’re too tired,” Essek offered.

“Essek,” Caleb said again, laughing.

“I’m serious,” Essek said, “I will cart you to bed whether you like it or not.”

Caleb let out a long sigh, then pressed another kiss to Essek’s cheek—though due to the angle this one landed more so on his jaw—and detangled himself from Essek. “If you insist.”

Essek looked slightly remorseful now. “I do,” he said anyway.

As Caleb headed towards the rest of the group to inform them of his plan to sleep, he clocked the other Essek staring in their direction again. Caleb gave him a tired smile, and the other Essek quickly averted his gaze. Caleb shrugged it off and kept going.

[Essek]

"Caleb! We don't know where your Essek is so we're guessing you two are boning! So sorry to interrupt that, really, but we are having a meeting in the dining room and you two should really be a part of it!"

Jester's voice was enough to cut through the half-awake doze Caleb had been in for the past hour, sprawled across his bed haphazardly. Beside him, Essek looked up from the book he was reading—the smut book with the unfortunate title that he liked to read around Caleb as a tease—and flicked his ear with embarrassment. 

"I doubt they'd believe us if we told them otherwise," Essek mused as Caleb yawned by his side. While there was certainly plenty of seating in the tower, and even some within Caleb's chambers, he had been yanked into bed the night before when he had insisted Caleb get some rest—Caleb telling him to take his own advice—and while Essek only tranced while sitting upright next to Caleb, he found it difficult to remove himself fully upon coming to, with Caleb's arm thrown over his lap and Caleb's bearded face pressed into the fabric at his side.

"It'd be worse if you had bedhead," Caleb told him, reaching up to swipe a hand through Essek's mostly untouched hair, still in a precise wave across his head. Essek batted Caleb's hand away before he did too much damage.

"No need for you to encourage them," Essek said, extricating himself from Caleb's grasp and standing up next to the bed. With Essek gone Caleb quickly followed suit with a stretch. Essek quickly performed a quick prestidigitation to straighten his clothes and fix his hair a bit, carefully avoiding looking at the strip of skin along Caleb’s stomach that became visible with the stretch. 

Caleb stared at him a bit vacantly, sleep still fogging his features. "Let's get you downstairs before they send Jester for another wake-up call,” Essek said.

"Ja, ja, let's go," Caleb said, running a hand through his hair—completely down, and tangled with sleep—and walked towards the door. Essek merely followed, knowing from experience that Caleb's morning routine was minimal, at best, unless he had some reason to present otherwise.

He followed him down through the tower, passing the room that was usually his own but that Caleb had instructed the other Essek to take for the night. As they approached the dining room he heard the familiar sound of voicing overlapping each other as it sounded like the entire group—this shadow version of the Mighty Nein—was gathered. 

Caleb stepped into the room first, followed quickly by Essek, which was noticed immediately by several people.

"See, Beau, I told you they were boning! Look, Essek even has bedhead!" Jester said, nudging Beau hard with an elbow. 

"I'm telling you, Jester, they weren't boning. They were more likely having a book club because they're sexually frustrated nerds," Beau countered immediately.

"And what about the bedhead?" Jester asked, not even looking at Essek as she said this. Which was good, because of course he could feel himself flushing at the scrutiny. Though Jester was not looking at him, Caduceus was, with that same steady, un-judgmental expression that Essek was used to. Caduceus’s gaze was joined by the most recent addition to the group, the alternate version of him, who had apparently not yet left and was seated as far away from the rest of the group as possible while still being at the same table.

"It is not 'bedhead,'" Essek said, sitting down in the empty spot next to Caduceus, "It is the result of Caleb intentionally messing up my hair to look like bedhead."

"A likely story," Jester said, "it's fine, Essek, your secret is safe with me."

"Historically not true," Beau said, "the Sapphire is known for keeping secrets only when it behooves her."

"And it does right now," Jester said with a toothy grin.

"Essek is right," Caleb interceded, "it is not bedhead. Essek trances, so he usually doesn't need to lay down in the bed, so his hair wouldn't get messed up unless someone did it intentionally."

"So he sits in your bed," Veth said, from the opposite end of the table from the other Essek, also keeping her distance from the rest of the group, "what, like, legs crossed, totally upright?"

"Usually, ja," Caleb said with a lazy smile that bordered on shit-eating. Essek rolled his gaze to the ceiling, ignoring the flush he felt claiming his face. With his head turned upward he missed the reactions of others, but the answering snort from Beau was not unexpected.

"My resting habits aside," Essek said, "I heard we are talking about next steps?"

"Let me get breakfast started while we discuss," Caleb said, getting up and walking over to the kitchen doors, "any requests?"

"Pancakes," Jester said.

"Bacon," Veth and Beau said at the same time, prompting a glaring match.

"A mushroom and egg scramble would be nice," Caduceus said as if musing to himself. 

"Those roasted spiders you had the other night were nice, could you do those again?" Yasha asked, tentatively.

"Ja, ha, got it," Caleb said, repeating those requests into the kitchen to a number of cats Essek could barely make out from his spot. Down the table, he could see the other him surreptitiously leaning so as to see what Caleb was doing. "I'll also take some tomato soup and grilled cheese, and, ah, Essek, what was that one soup called, you know the one?"

Essek chuckled and said the name of the dish in Undercommon. Caleb lit up and said, "Oh, that's the one! Please, Fritz, could you do that?"

There was an answering chorus of meows and Caleb shut the door and rejoined the group.

"So, what are our plans?" he asked once he was seated.

"Seems like you and Essek would know best," Beau said, kicking back and propping her feet onto the table, "We're along for the ride."

"Well, at this point we've gathered everyone we can," Caleb said, looking thoughtful. "Fjord obviously isn't joining us and Kingsley doesn't technically exist, so we can't really ask him, and I'm not repeating our mistakes with Lucien."

"Your explanation of the Molly-Lucien-Kingsley deal was woefully unhelpful, by the way," Beau said.

"It's a sticky situation," Caleb said, "as far as I know, Molly never existed because Lucien never died, and because Molly and Lucien never died, Kingsley doesn't exist either. And we know it's a bad idea to trust Lucien."

"Absolutely net zero information, thanks," Beau said.

"We'll have to take their word for it, I suppose," Jester said.

"Lucien killed me once. I got better, but I'd rather not repeat the experience," Caleb said, offhandedly, like that was just a thing that happened to people and didn't cause lasting trauma. With Caleb, though, it was hardly a drop in the bucket.

"We don't have time to unpack even a third of what you say, like, ever," Veth said, using her dagger to carve something into the wood of the table in front of her.

"I thought you said Lucien killed me?" Jester asked thoughtfully.

"He did both." Caleb said, "he was quite productive when he wanted to be."

"The Lucien I have records for is just a merc out of Shady Creek Run," Beau commented, "not a mastermind."

"It's possible he was never exposed to Cognouza," Essek said.

"What happened to Vess DeRogna?" Caleb asked, a question that surely seemed like a non-sequitur to the rest of the group.

"Died when the other you took on Ikithon," Beau said, "she was collateral damage. I always thought it was nice, knowing she died without having even been the intended target. Did her ego right."

Caduceus's face bunched up into what generally passed for dismayed, but he didn't comment. Across from him Beau gave him a little smirk, like she knew what he was thinking.

"Huh," Caleb said, "well, that's good. Perhaps he never met her and he remained just your typical cutthroat mercenary."

Essek cleared his throat. "As much as that's possible, I cannot say I am eager to chance it," he said.

"Well, I suppose we don't necessarily need him," Caleb said, "as we certainly cleared the area we needed to clear without his help in our time."

"It might be difficult to convince him to come alone," Beau said, "word is his group is quite close-knit."

"And I think it's better if we don't get him interested in Aeor in the first place," Caleb said, decisively. "So no Lucien."

"In that case, we got everyone, right?" Veth asked.

"Ja, we do," Caleb said, and Essek noticed his glance at the other Essek, who had so far remained decidedly quiet, as if hoping the others would forget he was there. Theoretically, he should be able to get home now—in fact, Essek had assumed he would be gone by the time they woke up—so he wondered what his plans were.

"So, here's the deal," Caleb said, "Aeor is in Eiselcross, as I've pointed out before. Eiselcross is in the far north, where it is both cold and, speaking for the arcane, decidedly weird."

"Weird how?" Jester asked. As she asked, cats began pouring out of the kitchens with food, arranging the variety across the table so that everyone could grab what they wanted and serve themselves. There was a flurry of movement interrupting the conversation as everyone piled food onto their plate.

"Weird," Caleb said, his fork full of eggs and mushrooms, "as in the magic doesn't always work as expected. One way that manifests is that teleportation to Eiselcross is extremely tricky."

"And tricky means…?" Beau asked, hands full of bacon.

Caleb explained, "that it's doable, but also very likely to end in a mishap of varying levels of seriousness. The times we've teleported in the past, we've mostly ended up off-target by a day or two's journey, but Essek was once teleported into a mountain—"

"I was quickly shunted into the air nearby but it was a deeply unpleasant experience, all told," Essek added.

"—and the likelihood of a mishap increases exponentially if you attempt to teleport somewhere you are unfamiliar," Caleb continued.

"While we have a catalog of rocks from across Eiselcross that would normally make the journey much simpler, those rocks are from our version of the universe, and we cannot be sure that the magic here will recognize them as the same," Essek said.

"Which means?" Jester asked, digging into an egregiously high stack of pancakes.

"It is advisable that we sail to Eiselcross, and then trek to the opening of Aeor that we need," Caleb said, "which will likely take several weeks at least."

"You mean on water?" Veth asked, voice becoming a bit more shrill than usual.

"That is typically how you sail," Beau said.

"It's perfectly safe," Caleb said, "the Nein sailed all the time and we were fine even when we were being chased by the undead servant of a demigod."

Veth began grumbling to herself, and Caleb appeared to allow her to sort herself out, turning back to the rest of the group.

"The return trip will be easier in the sense that you will now know where you are going, but—" Caleb started.

"But we won't have you on the way back," Jester said.

"Ideally," Essek said, then quickly said, "not that—don't take that personally—"

"I know, Essek, it's fine," Jester said, the moroseness of her body language undercutting her words slightly.

Essek reached across the table to put a hand on her shoulder. "We want you to be able to get out safely. Ideally, a teleport would work, as teleporting out of Eiselcross is not as dangerous as teleporting in, especially if you're using a circle, but—"

"We'll be down both our wizards by that point," Beau supplied.

"Perhaps not all of them," the other Essek spoke for the first time that morning. All eyes turned to him, and his shoulders hitched up under his mantle, as if he weren't used to this many people looking at him. Essek knew that wasn't the case, but also knew that the Nein, in every universe, weren't just any people.

"Oh?" Jester asked, a bit of her smile returning.

"It is possible, should everyone be willing, that I could accompany you to Aeor," the other Essek offered, hedging his words even as he did so, "in that case, I could extract everyone once the deed has been done."

"What's in it for you?" Beau asked, eyes squinting as she looked at him.

Essek caught the tell-tale signs of fidgeting underneath the mantle. 

"I, uh," the other Essek said, "I have been. Intrigued. By your group. And would appreciate time to further learn about you."

"Evil Essek likes us!" Jester chirped, holding a forkful of pancakes in the air like a trophy.

"Evil Essek?" the other Essek asked, his ears drooping a bit.

"Bastard Essek?" Beau tried with a smirk, sticking her chin in her hand where it rested on the table.

"That's not-"

"Shadow Essek!" Veth crowed from the end of the table.

"Well that's unorig-"

"Reforming Essek," Caduceus offered.

"Not specific enough," Caleb said with a smile. "How about Mirror Essek?"

"What, why?" Jester asked.

"Because he's like my Essek, but not quite?" Caleb said.

"By that logic either of them could technically be Mirror Essek," Beau said.

"Wrong Essek?" Yasha asked thoughtfully.

"That's just hurtful," the other Essek said with the quirk of his head, "actually, I take it back. You can go to Eiselcross without me."

"No, Essek, you're with us now, you can't wiggle out!" Jester said, getting out of her chair and throwing her arms around Essek's shoulders. It was mildly reminiscent of the first time Essek had been hugged by Jester, his Jester. He could see it in the way the other Essek tensed, in the way he clearly didn't know what to do with his arms.

"We could just call him," Yasha gestured at Essek, "'Caleb's Essek.' Since he's not, you know, really from here."

Essek felt his face heat but otherwise did his best not to react. He noted an amused smile from Caleb, across from him, and he kicked out under the table at Caleb. This only broadened the smile on the human's face.

"So he's just Essek now?" Beau asked, gesturing to the other Essek, "that's confusing. We've been calling the other guy Essek this whole time."

"He's Our Essek, now," Jester said, "and you can't have him!" She ended her statement by looping one arm around Essek's shoulders and pointing the other at Caleb.

"It would be patently unfair for me to horde two Esseks to myself," Caleb said, "so I must yield to your logic."

Both Esseks choked at his comment, though one had more experience with such teasing and cut off to make eye contact with Caleb.

"You are a menace, Caleb Widogast," Essek said, pointing at him. 

Caleb just smiled at him.

"So wait, we're really going to go there on a ship ?" Veth asked.

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

Unsurprisingly, once they had managed to convince Veth to get on the ocean, she had promptly disappeared into the bowels of the ship and was rarely seen or heard from since. Caleb didn't push and neither did Essek, but the rest of the mirror-Nein were certainly curious as to why she was so freakish about the water. Caleb easily rebuffed their questions by telling them to just ask her, since it's hardly fair for him to explain someone else's story.

Nor had he actively attempted to find her, since he knew that if she didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be found. Caleb was fairly decent at finding people or things when he needed to, but in this instance he thought it best to give her space and allow it to play out. Veth had been standoffish at best for the rest of their acquaintance so far, and he didn't feel the need to push it now, as much as he missed the easy friendship of his own Veth. 

And he certainly understood what it felt like to be overwhelmed in a group.

It was during one of his stints on his own, crammed into a storage room and reading a book he had picked up for a few coppers, when she approached him.

She didn't speak immediately, just plopped down on a barrel across from him. He glanced up from his book to look at her, but upon noting that she wasn't going to say anything he went back to reading. The book wasn't exactly good, but that was generally what he expected from books he spent a couple coppers on. 

Caleb made it through several more pages before she decided to speak. "You haven't pushed the issue about me being friendly with the rest of the group," she finally said, "you have with the rest of them but not with me."

"I couldn't force you to do something you didn't want, nor would I want to," Caleb told her, closing the book and holding it in his hands. She seemed to balk slightly, with his full attention on her.

"You made Beau be friendly with the rest," Veth said, almost petulantly.

"Beauregard responds to different things than you. She's not used to having people she can count on around her, nor is she very good with people, but she likes people, she likes to be around them. And she, well, she has her issues but ultimately I think she's not resistant to the idea that people would like her," Caleb said. 

"And I am?" Veth commented.

Caleb looked at her sadly. "You are an extremely competent, confident individual. But being in a body that is not your own has made you pull away, made you feel like a stranger to yourself. And your hatred of goblins makes you assume that no one would want anything to do with you so long as you are a goblin," Caleb told her.

"Goblins are objectively terrible," Veth said, something that was unsettling to hear coming out her mouth, still bearing its goblinoid form.

"They're really not," Caleb said, setting aside his book, "I have met many goblins who are truly very good. I have also known very bad goblins. Goblins are just people. You were the victim of very bad people."

"You say it so simply," Veth said, staring down at her hands, curled up to accentuate the clawed fingers. Setting aside his book, Caleb reached forward and took her hand, unfurling them so they no longer looked like weapons. Veth stiffened in his grip but allowed him to take her hands.

"I have seen you do many amazing and wonderful things with these hands," Caleb said, "and even if you remained this way forever you would certainly remain you, capable of anything you set your mind on."

Veth swallowed and balled up her hands, still held in Caleb's own.

"I don't want to look like this," she said.

"I know," Caleb said, softly. Kindly.

"You mentioned when we first met that you broke me of this curse. You told me you worked out a spell to fix it, but that you had to break a hag's curse to do so," Veth said, suddenly insistent, "please. Please tell me how to undo this."

Caleb sighed and hoisted his pack towards him, rummaging through it for a moment before pulling out several folded pieces of paper.

"This," he said, handing her a crudely drawn map, "is the location of the hag. For more information on the area you should ask Beau. Her family is from Kamordah," he tapped the location on the map, "and is familiar with the area." He intentionally left out her family's own involvement with the hag, simply because it was not his story to tell. "Sorry for the quality of the map. My memory is quite good but I have never been an artist."

Pulling out several more papers, he handed her what could have been torn out spellbook pages, all bearing the same instructions. "All of these are the same. They're the spell Transmogrification, which was created by myself, Essek, and our version of you. The details of the spell are explained on the page, but basically, once the curse is removed, this spell will change your form to the one you wish.

"Why so many copies?" Veth asked, holding all of the papers like they were precious.

"In case one gets ruined or lost. The map is easy enough, so long as you remember it is near Kamordah you will find it eventually. The spell parameters would require the tinkering of at least one wizard, and I can't promise you'd be able to find another who was willing to lend a helping hand," Caleb explained.

"And to perform it? I'm not trained in the arcane but this looks like some high level stuff," Veth said, eyeballing the spell in front of her.

"Should he be true to his word and stick with you for long enough, your Essek should be plenty capable of performing the spell on you," Caleb told her, "and if for some reason Essek can't or won't do it, seek out the man known as Yussa Errenis in Nicodranas. He's a recluse and hates people, but a new spell might be enough to convince him to help."

Veth took a stuttering breath as she looked over the papers in front of her.

"Why are you only now giving these to me?" she asked, "afraid I would have run off if you gave them to me before?"

"No, though I don't fault you for thinking that," Caleb said, "I have been working on the maps and the spell pages during what free time we've had through all this time together. Plus, I'm working on something for Caduceus as well, so I've been trying to make good enough time to get it done before we leave. I had also thought about making one more copy of the spell, but I only have so much paper on me."

Veth held tight to the papers in front of her before making an effort to create a protected layer in her own pouch to protect them. While she was rearranging her items, Caleb cleared his throat.

"Yes?" Veth asked, not looking up from her pack.

"About Yeza…" Caleb started to say, and Veth's eyes snapped up to meet his.

"What about him?" she asked.

Caleb took a deep breath. "In our universe, we found him not long after the Dynasty captured him. He was doing research for the Assembly when Dynasty agents captured him and took him in for questioning."

"And?" Veth asked, trying for nonchalance but the tight grip on her bag belied her efforts.

"I don't know where he is exactly. When we found him he was being kept in the Dungeon of Penance in Rosohna, but that would have been years ago now," Caleb said, "I asked Essek—your Essek, not mine—and he thought he remembered a halfling apothecary being drafted into helping at the Marble Tomes Conservatory. But he wasn't certain it was Yeza."

Veth just stared at him. "How would I know for sure?"

"Well, if Essek maintains good favor with the Dynasty, he may very well be able to help you there. Otherwise, I'm sure you could figure something out. At least, so long as you have back-up," Caleb said, then, struck with worry, put his hands over Veth's much smaller ones once again, "and please. Promise me you will not go in alone."

"I can't promise that," Veth said immediately.

"But please, be safe," Caleb pleaded, "do not let this information be what gets you killed."

"It will not," Veth said, more confident than he'd heard in a while.

"As for Luc," Caleb said, "I cannot say where he is for sure, but I do know that in our world your neighbor Edith began caring for him after Yeza was kidnapped. He may still be in her care."

He did not say, because he knows she is well aware, that Felderwin did not go unscathed from the war between the Empire and the Dynasty. As an area along the border and a common farming area, it was frequently targeted by Kryn forces. It was hardly safe. He could not promise Luc's safety.

But he could at least tell her what he knew.

"Thank you," she said after a moment, staring down at her hands, still held in his. "Thank you for the information."

"Of course," Caleb said warmly.

"You and she are very close, aren't you?" Veth said.

"Ja," Caleb said simply.

"Why?" Veth asked, somehow a simple and yet very complicated question.

"We…" Caleb started, but was unsure where exactly to go. There was so much to their relationship that it was hard to easily explain. "We pulled each other back from the brink. I was freshly escaped from the Sanatorium and functioning on survival instinct alone, and you had crawled so far into your fear and self loathing that all you found was liquor. Being thrown into the same jail cell was the best thing that could have happened to us. You pulled me out of my own head, gave me something to focus on other than the next meal, and I gave you a project and a companion all in one."

"And then we met the Mighty Nein?" Veth asked.

"Ja, and then we met the Mighty Nein," he agreed.

"That seems to be a reoccurring theme," Veth commented.

"Indeed," Caleb said with a smile.

Veth looked like she was about to say something in response when the ship lurched to one side, suddenly and aggressively. This prompted a shriek out of her and brought Caleb to his feet, tossing his possessions back into his back and rushing to the door.

"Are you coming?" Caleb asked as he hit the door, knowing that Veth likely didn't want to be below decks for whatever was about to happen.

"Fuck this, fuck this ship, fuck the ocean, fuck all the creatures in it, fuck water—" Veth said by way of answer as she too tossed all her stuff into her pack and skittered past him and up into the weak sunlight above deck.

"Ja, ja, certainly," Caleb echoed as he followed her topside.

The two of them burst onto a deck that was already filled with a flurry of energy; the dwarven captain they had chartered the ride from was near the bow of the ship, barking orders to her crew, who complied with relative speed and efficiency. Caleb felt Veth skittering past him as she clambered up to higher ground.

“Essek?” Caleb called, “Beauregard? Yasha—?” and as he called for the other members of his group, he eventually spotted Caduceus, posted up near the captain, visibly squinting out into the horizon.

“Caduceus, what’s going on?” Caleb asked, pulling himself up level with Caduceus at the bow of the ship. Glancing upwards he noticed Beau balancing precariously from the crow’s nest, Veth yanking herself up to perch next to the human.

“Ship in the distance, it’s hard to say who with all this fog, but they just let off a warning shot,” Caduceus explained.

“They didn’t hit us?” Caleb asked, inspecting the side of the ship.

“No, the ship lurched when the shot hit the water. Not sure if it was intentional, though,” Caduceus said, “the captain thinks it was a warning shot, but I don’t know how she’s certain they didn’t just miss.” While Caduceus spoke Essek came up to stand beside Caleb, looking out in the same direction the two of them had already been facing.

“There isn’t someone else who hates your guts that we should be aware of, huh?” Jester asked the two of them, jumping up to sit beside them, balancing precariously on the railing of the ship.

“This is your universe, you’re more likely to know who holds a grudge than I would,” Caleb commented.

“Nobody hates me,” Jester said, “and if they ever did, they certainly don’t anymore.”

Caleb let out a snort that he couldn’t help, and was saved from having to respond to this Jester’s more vindictive streak by Beau landing neatly on the prow of the ship, having seemingly leapt from the crow’s nest above. Veth appeared to be taking the slower route back down. At that point, Yasha and the mirror Essek finally surfaced from the interior of the ship, completing their group.

“It seems your half-orc friend didn’t take kindly to getting his ass whupped in Nicodranas,” Beau commented casually.

“What!” Jester yelped, “No, seriously? It really is a grudge against you, wow, Cay-leb, you’re so hateable.”

“That seems a bit much,” Essek commented off-handedly, “but I suppose I never dealt with Avantika, so maybe this is expected.”

“Considering she tried to kill us twice after dying, I suppose I should have expected this,” Caleb said, inspecting the horizon and the rapidly approaching vessel, “though at least then it was because we had something she—or Uk’otoa, that is—wanted.” The other ship was still indistinct, but was slowly resolving itself into the recognizable shape of Avantika’s ship. It was too far away still to make out any people on it, but Caleb imagined he knew of at least two.

“He did say he didn’t like how much you knew,” Beau said, “it makes sense he’d use his weird water powers to track you down.”

“All of this is great and all but it doesn’t tell us what we’re going to fucking do,” Veth interjected, looking visibly disconcerted by this turn of events, “they want to kill us, and we should be coming up with a plan, or else we’re gonna die on a boat, and I won’t even be alive to say ‘I told you so.’”

“I think the plan is ‘kill them first,’” Jester commented with a shrug. Caleb found himself chewing on one of his fingernails as he tried to think through how to get out of this situation without killing the alternate version of his friend. In his peripheral vision he saw Essek approach and reach out, slowly, before taking the hand he was chewing on and clutching it at his side.

“I’m not sure what choice we have,” Essek responded to Jester, but he directed it in Caleb’s direction, “they’re forcing the issue, and if we try to teleport out of the situation, we can’t be sure that we wouldn’t be dooming the entire crew of this ship.”

“Ja, I know,” Caleb told him, “going into this fight with the intention of sparing him would be like fighting with one hand behind our back.”

“So it’s decided? Kill them first?” Veth asked.

“Do you think a properly placed gravity sinkhole could pull the boards of the ship off?” Caleb asked, directing the question to the two Esseks.

“I’m no expert in ship-making,” Essek commented, “but I imagine if you planted one right off the side of the ship, you might be able to put a hole in the hull.”

“More than one in sync might increase the chance that it could leave lasting damage,” the other Essek commented thoughtfully, “with the two of us, we might be able to do it.”

“Three,” Caleb said, “all three of us could cast it at the same time.”

“You know—” the Shadowhand started to ask, then glanced down at their still joined hands, before commenting, almost ruefully, “of course you know dunamancy.”

“So we’re still trying not to kill him?” Veth asked, sounding almost disappointed.

“We’re going to do what we need to survive this,” Caleb said, “but if we can take out their ship, force them to focus on not sinking instead of fighting us, then we might not get to that.”

“I’m not sure what the spellcasting range is on that spell, but the ship is getting awfully close,” Caduceus commented, pulling Caleb’s attention back to the approaching ship. It was significantly closer now, though still outside of the 120 feet necessary for the casting of the gravity sinkhole spell. It was close enough, however, that Caleb could make out a lean figure with long red hair on the prow of the ship, half-orc beside her.

“So the wizards are going to do their gravity magic thing, what about the rest of us?” Jester asked.

“Punch,” Beau said, at the same time Yasha said, “Slash slash.” 

Beau smirked at her. “Great minds think alike,” she quipped. Yasha looked suddenly flustered and began to make aggressive eye contact with the ground.

“I can get you over there, if you want,” Jester said, miming wing-flapping with her arms, “though it’s probably best if I stay a bird in case I need to get you out of there quickly.”

“Sounds great, Sapphire,” Beau said, “how’s about now?”

“Sounds good to me!” Jester commented, before immediately shifting into a giant blue eagle before anyone had time to second-guess their plan. Several nearby crew members yelped and jumped out of her way as she took to the air, scooping Beau and Yasha up as she did so.

“I guess we’re doing this, then,” Veth commented, “I’m going to go up, then. Might have a better shot from up there.” And then she scurried back up into the masts above their head.

This left Caleb alone with the two Esseks and Caduceus. The ship was close enough now that Caleb knew they were nearly in spellcasting range.

“What are you weird fucks planning?” the captain, a stout dwarf named Bertha, asked them. Around them, the crew had been preparing the meager stock of cannons they had at their disposal, one on each side of the ship. As dangerous as the northern waters were, the dangers tended to come in things that took out a ship immediately, if at all; pirates generally kept to the more profitable shipping lanes of the Menagerie Coast. 

“We’re going to try to incapacitate the other ship,” Essek told her through his own squinting, shielding his eyes from the sun as he glanced her way, “that way we can get away.”

“And you know they’re going to attack because?” she asked.

“They already did?” Caleb said, though the comment turned into a question part-way through.

“Perhaps so,” she commented, “but it’s possible that really was just a warning shot. I just don’t want you getting us into anything you can’t finish. ”

“I believe they were the ones who started this,” the other Essek remarked.

“Do you know something you’re not telling—” Bertha began to say, only to be cut off by the noise of a cannon going off.

“Duck!” Caduceus yelled to everyone nearby a cannonball flew solidly towards the crew currently operating the cannon closest to Avantika’s ship. The shot missed hitting any of the crew or the cannon itself, but did send a spray of wood in its wake. The hole was well above the waterline, but could be trouble if the ship sustained enough other damage.

“There’s your proof,” the other Essek told the captain forcefully, moving himself closer to the railing, glancing at the other two wizards as he did so. Caleb knew when to follow a cue, and so he and Essek—their hands still linked, he noticed then—moved to face the other vessel.

“How about there, underneath where it says 'Squalleater,'” Caleb said, pointing with his free hand, “just above the water.”

“That’s as good a place as any,” the other Essek acquiesced, “and gives something to aim for. I would suggest we do it sooner rather than later.”

“Agreed,” Essek agreed with his other self, detaching himself from Caleb so that he could prepare for the spell. 

Caleb pulled his own black marble out of his pouch and began the incantation. On either side of him he heard identical castings, and the tight, neat somatic components he had come to expect from Essek. Though they did not end up casting the spell completely simultaneously, the effect was much the same as it would have been had they been completely in sync, as three overlapping sinkholes all formed just below the name of the ship in rapid succession. Even from this distance, Caleb could hear the resulting crack as multiple boards were stripped from the hull next to their sinkholes and held in the air. The fact that the three of them had not completely overlapped their area of effect seemed to do even more damage, as a large swathe of the hull was ripped from its place. The effect did not last for long, though, and the three fields all flickered out in succession. The wood that had been yanked from the hull fell loosely into the water below as Caleb could now see into the interior of the ship.

Behind him, Caleb heard the captain loudly say, “holy fuck!” as the Squalleater listed to one side as it began to dip sideways with the water it was suddenly taking on.

Looking onto the ship proper, he could make out the shapes of Yasha and Beau going toe to toe with Avantika and Fjord, keeping their balance even as the ship tilted ever so slightly. Overhead, Jester let out a loud whistling noise as she plucked two crew from the cannons and tossed them overboard. 

Caleb could make out the exact moment Avantika recognized that something was wrong, as she broke away from Beau and Yasha, dodging attacks from both as she did so, and looked over the side to analyze the damage. She immediately looked up to where the three wizards were still standing, facing their handiwork, and she let out a yell that Caleb could hear from there. 

Caleb blinked in sudden understanding of what Avantika would almost certainly do next—it would only make sense for her to cast control water to send a wave to capsize them, and unlike the last time she had attempted to do the same, he was not within range to counterspell her. 

“Sheisse!” Caleb yelled before quickly launching into the fly spell and catapulting himself off the side of the ship so as to get within sixty feet of her before she thought to direct her efforts at them.

He heard both Esseks calling after him as he flew out, low over the water, focusing all his effort on getting close enough to Avantika to cast a counterspell.

Avantika didn’t seem to care what Caleb’s intent was, as anger flashed through her eyes and she raised her arms in the same way he had once seen her do when they had first gone toe-to-toe. Mid-air, still approaching the ship as fast as he could, Caleb slashed his hand in a wide arc as if swiping away the gathering arcane energy and hoped against hope that he had managed to close the distance between them.

It was with endless relief that Caleb saw the casting get snatched out of Avantika’s mouth, the shifting of water below him ceasing in time with his own counterspell.

Behind Avantika, Fjord’s own attempted counterspell fizzled, the distance between him and Caleb too much to take any effect. His frustration at this seemed to distract him from a slash of the sword from Yasha, sending a spray of blood onto the increasingly tilting ground below them. Caleb gritted his teeth against the image of his friends fighting one another and reminded himself that they had no choice here.

Returning his gaze back to Avantika, Caleb saw the calculation in her eyes as she attempted to determine whether it was more important to save her ship or take out their group. Caleb couldn’t be certain of where she would land on that thought process, so he decided to give her another variable to consider.

Taking inspiration from their first battle, Caleb called out a warning for Beau and Yasha to get out of the middle of the ship, then ran the edge of his right hand through the phosphorus he had gathered in the pal of his left hand, willing a line of fire to spring up down the exact middle of the ship, catching the masts in its blast and several crew members in its path. He couldn’t tell if Beau and Yasha had heeded his warning, but he couldn’t see either of them or Fjord at the moment, so he assumed they were on the other side of the wall—the one he had made nonlethal. 

“You godsdamned stupid wizard!” Caleb heard Avantika shriek in his direction, “you just don’t know when to fucking quit!”

On ‘quit’ he registered Avantika making a wild slashing motion in his direction, the only warning he got before he felt the overwhelming feeling like a thousand migraines at once, like the very universe was angry at him and was trying to take it out on his head. 

He managed to stave off the worst of the pain and maintain focus on his flight, though he did feel himself stutter, falling several feet before righting himself in the air.

Unfortunately, his focus being on nullifying the worst effects of Avantika's mindspike, he did not notice Fjord come barreling through the flames, clothes smoking from the flames as he let out a yell and motioned in Caleb’s direction with his falcion, a lance of frost exploding out from the motion as if it had come from the sword itself.

He was caught full on by the effect of the cold magic, flash freezing him in mid-air and successfully distracting him from maintaining concentration on remaining in the air.

Which meant he was now plummeting towards the water, nearly fifty feet below him.

He distantly registered the yells of both Esseks as well as Caduceus as he desperately attempted to convince his frigid fingers to complete the motions necessary to re-cast of the fly spell. He could do it, he knew, if he had only a few more feet, but at this rate he knew he was likely to hit the water before he managed to convince his fingers to work with him.

Just as he had managed to brace himself for the hard slap he knew to expect from the impact of the water, he felt the feeling of talons grasping his back and yanking him out of his freefall. Looking up through his own shivers, he saw the blue-feathered form Jester had taken previously. She glanced down at him and let out what he interpreted as a disappointed shriek.

Yet again, he barely had time to catalog his change in circumstance before he was unceremoniously dropped on top of Essek, who did a valiant effort at keeping him upright without being knocked over himself—no easy feet, considering Jester had dropped him from several feet above the deck and Caleb was already much bulkier than the slight Essek.

“Are you daft ?” the other Essek asked him, immediately, before he even had a chance to gather his bearings.

Teeth still chattering, Caleb said, “she was going to capsize the boat.”

“And you knew that?” the other Essek asked him. Caleb registered anger in the question, but also an undercurrent of concern that he had grown used to with his own Essek. This Essek didn’t seem to know what to do with these emotions, though, and his Essek had grown used to Caleb’s semi-reckless fighting style.

“She’s, ah, a bit of a one-trick-pony,” Caleb commented.

At that point, bird-Jester reappeared with Beau and Yasha, both looking more battered than before but still conscious and aware, and dropped them both on the ship next to the wizards. She then took back into the sky and began circling the ship, seemingly making the most of her hour's worth of polymorph.

“What is Avantika doing now?” Caleb asked, hazarding a glance back to the other vessel, which was still taking on water and on fire. He could no longer see her or Fjord from this position.

“She appears to have begun damage control once Fjord took you out of the sky,” Essek told him, “though I have not yet seen what ‘damage control’ looks like in this case.”

“Y’all are some tough fuckers, I’ll tell you what,” Bertha told them, reappearing near their group, "I appreciate the fact that you did all that to keep us from capsizing. I know it’s in your best interest as well, but I just wanted to put that out there. Just wanted y’all to know that I’m making use of the distraction you gave us and getting the hell out of here.”

“Good call,” Beau said, “Here’s hoping they don’t catch up any time soon.”

Bertha snorted and said, “an understatement, that. Here’s hoping y’all don’t have any other angry friends with big ships that you haven’t mentioned to me.”

“Just the one,” Essek told her.

“That better be the case, or I’m upping your damn fee,” she responded, then waved dismissively over her shoulder as she rejoined a group of crew who were attempting to do a quick patch on one of the holes sustained in the battle.

“I swear to whatever deity is listening right now that if one more thing happens on this trip I am going to murder you,” Veth told Caleb, appearing suddenly by his side, “the instructions on how to change me back are much appreciated, but a bitch can only take so much and I. Fucking. Hate the water.”

“Message received,” Caleb said, still hanging loosely from Essek. “I will endeavor to make fewer people wish to kill me.”

“‘Endeavor to make—’ no wonder so many people wanna kill you,” Veth said, “could you just be normal for once?”

“I’ve heard it grows on people,” Caleb said, narrowly staving off a coughing fit. The battle hadn’t completely taken him out, but he wasn’t exactly feeling great, with the aftershocks of the mindspike and the residual chill from the cone of cold Fjord had cast on him.

Veth just hummed and eyed him. “Don’t get cocky,” she told him, and then allowed a beat to pass before saying, “You’re awful stupid for a wizard. I’m glad you’re okay, though. ”

Caleb let out a weak laugh and said, “I’ll take that.”

[Essek]

The Shadowhand took his time in finally approaching him.

All throughout their ship journey Essek expected to be cornered by his doppelganger, interrogated about this, that, or the other thing that he felt he might be able to get the upper hand on. Information was the lifeblood of his past self, and in many ways still was, so it was not strange to expect to be pressed for it by his doppelganger. The Shadowhand kept his distance, however, to the point of actively avoiding him when possible. Essek wouldn't have been hurt even if he hadn't noticed that his double had remained aloof from the entire group, taking part in group conversations minimally and only speaking when directly addressed. He spoke to Caleb, some, and Jester as well, but he mostly avoided Essek.

It wasn't until they were finally in Eiselcross and had just tussled with some frost giants and were all taking a moment to catch their breath that the other Essek finally approached him. When he did, Essek wasn't even paying attention to him. His attention was devoted to Caleb, laying on his back several yards away, being looked after by Caduceus. Caleb had taken the brunt of several strong attacks that had left him flagging more than the others, though none of them had made it out unscathed. Essek wasn't hovering over the two because he knew how stressful it could be, being injured and crowded around, but he was watching with great interest as Caduceus healed the worst of Caleb's wounds.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" he heard in his own voice. He blinked and looked away from Caleb to where his double was now standing even with him. Though his words were harsh, he was shivering against the biting cold and squinting from the overhead sun; the effect made him sound more petulant than anything else.

"It's not one of the more common insults hurled my way, and I must admit I wouldn't expect it from you," Essek said evenly.

The other Essek grimaced at him. "You know what I'm referring to."

"I'm afraid I don't," Essek responded, genuinely. They hadn't done anything any more strategically unsound than the Nein ever did, and he found himself generally being the voice of reason, when possible. He couldn't tell what could have irked his double so much. 

" Him ," the Shadowhand said, nodding his head in the direction of Caleb and Caduceus, outside of earshot—though knowing Caduceus, the firbolg almost certainly could hear their conversation.

"Caleb?" Essek asked, "what about him makes me an idiot?"

"You're an idiot," the other him said, like he was talking to a child, "because you want him and you're doing nothing ."

"Ah," Essek said. He never would have thought his life would get to the point that his doppelganger of dubious morals—more dubious than his own, at least—would take the time to give him romance advice, but here he was.

"And why?" the Shadowhand asked when no explanation was forthcoming.

"Caleb and I have a complicated history. I'm sure you've heard by now how we met," Essek said.

"I'm familiar with the story at this point," the Shadowhand said impatiently.

"What we haven't mentioned much is my—our," Essek broke off meaningfully to meet the other man's gaze, "dealings with the Assembly. In our world, when Caleb realized I'd been working with the Assembly… when the Nein realized… it broke the trust we had formed between us, despite everything," Essek said.

"You seem to be past that," the other Essek said with a dainty eyebrow lift. No commentary on his past wrongdoing, in no small part because he likely didn't yet see it as such.

Essek coughed, "yes, well. He and I have grown close again, and he has given me another chance to show that I am willing to grow and change. I am lucky for that chance. And for the longest time I have been… content… with our relationship. I would not jeopardize it."

"I do not think he is opposed to the idea," the other Essek said.

"I have… considered that possibility. I intend to speak plainly with him once we are back in our own reality, so that he will not feel trapped with me in the case he does not reciprocate," Essek said.

"You really think it's possible he does not?" the other Essek asked, and then, without waiting for an answer, said, "you're a bigger fool than I thought."

Essek let out a sharp huff of laughter. "If I am a fool, so be it. We are cautious by nature, you must understand that."

"He cares for you," the other Essek said, plaintively. There was an edge there, of a thought unspoken. "You are wasting time. Time he does not have."

Essek's throat dried up. "Yes, that's… I realize that. It's hard not to."

The other Essek was silent, then, inspecting him. Essek turned back to Caleb, who was once again sitting upright, leaning heavily against Caduceus's side while the firbolg inspected some bruising on Caleb's leg. Behind them, Beau and Veth kept watch, inspecting the area for a good spot to hole up for the night.

"I considered taking your place somehow," the other him said, suddenly, unprompted, "I came up with several plans to switch with you and go back to your reality with him."

Essek started at the confession. "What made you drop the idea?" Essek said, picking one of the many questions that immediately came to mind.

"He would know," he responded, "I probably wouldn't even make it back. You are much easier with his affection, and occasionally give it yourself; you have a long history together, and plans for the future; and he loves you, not me. And besides, I do not love him, not yet. I only know that I clearly could. And that I would like for someone to look at me the way he looks at you, and have a reason to look back."

Essek balked at the plain statement that Caleb loved him, at all of what he had just said, but barreled forward. "Is that why you came with us?"

"No, or at least, not entirely," he responded, "it was a consideration, something to think about, but ultimately I knew that I could not fake what you have with your friends. Perhaps I could get to know these people and have a shadow of what you have."

"It doesn't need to be a shadow," Essek said, "just because you didn't meet the same way doesn't mean you couldn't build something with them, separate from what our friendships look like in our universe."

His double inspected him again, and Essek met his eyes confidently, unshaking.

"Perhaps," he said, "the universe is full of possibilities."

The Shadowhand took a deep breath and looked over to where Caleb was speaking intensely with Caduceus. The fact that the Shadowhand would never be able to have anything resembling what he had with Caleb with this universe’s version of him went unsaid; to remark on it would have been kicking him while he was already down. 

"Don't wait until it's too late," he said, not moving his gaze from Caleb, "make it clear that you'll be there for him for as long as he'll have you. Take a lesson from me, and be selfish."

"I’ll take your words under consideration," Essek said, "and appreciate them for what they are."

The Shadowhand gave him a steady look. "Don't expect much more of it," he said before drifting off.

"Of course not," he said under his breath, looking back at Caleb.

[Caleb]

Caleb was doing his best to sift through the leftover adrenaline from their fight combined with the soreness that even Caduceus's capable healing could not rid him of. Caduceus didn't seem to mind him leaning heavily against his side while he looked over the rest of Caleb's less fatal but nonetheless still painful wounds. Caduceus was humming quietly while he did so, and Caleb was once again struck with fondness for this mirror version of his friend.

Focusing elsewhere to try to distract from the melancholy that thought brought, he noticed the Esseks hovering nearby talking quietly to one another. Caleb hadn't noticed the two of them talking the rest of this trip, and wondered what they could possibly be talking about now.

"Hmm," Caleb said, almost to himself, "that can't be good."

"Actually, this is the least of your worries. A good night's sleep should fix this right up," Caduceus said, probing the bruise on his leg he knew was turning horrendous colors under his layers and layers of clothing.

Caleb flinched away from the jolt of pain that came from his prodding. "I meant them," Caleb said, inclining his head towards the Esseks.

"Ah," Caduceus said, ears twitching gently as he looked over at the two of them with a tilt of his head. He studied them briefly, but his gaze did not linger long before it was back on Caleb. "No need to worry about them. They appear to be sorting something out."

"I see," Caleb said, looking at Caduceus. The placid smile on the firbolg's face told him he likely would not be elaborating, so Caleb simply noted the interaction to ask Essek about later and moved on. "Thank you for your attention, Caduceus. I'm sure I'll be fine, you should look over the others."

"It's fine. We're all a little banged up," Caduceus said, "and Jester already fixed up Beau, she was the one who got the worst of it. After you, at least."

"Well, thank you anyway," Caleb said, leaning his head back onto Caduceus's shoulder. "You have been a good friend to me these past few weeks."

Caleb smiled as Caduceus's ear twitched in embarrassment and hit Caleb's head where it was laying on his shoulder. "And you as well," Caduceus said.

Caleb took in a deep breath, his lungs stinging with the cold and the soreness from the fight. With what energy he had left in him he scrabbled for his bag, abandoned a few feet away when Caduceus had first started to inspect him.

"I have been working on this for a bit, trying to get it as accurate as possible. Now seems to be as good a time as any to give it to you," Caleb said, rummaging his hands around in his pack until he found what he was looking for, a reinforced piece of paper held in a makeshift folder for protection. He pulled it out and handed it to Caduceus, who took it gingerly, like someone who wasn't used to handling a certain material.

Caduceus did not question him, simply unfolded the paper in front of him. What he saw was a shaky, if mostly accurate, map of Wildmount, including both the Empire and the Dynasty as well as the surrounding nations. 

"A map?" Caduceus asked, even as Caleb clocked him noticing his notations. Caduceus squinted, looking at them.

"This," Caleb pointed at the notations, "is where your family is. The next page is a more detailed map of that region, at least how I remember it. Time has passed and this is another reality, so some accuracy might be debatable, but assuming nothing has happened to change circumstances, your family are right there."

"Oh," Caduceus said, blinking multiple times.

"And the third page are instructions on how to get to them, once you're in the jungle, and the conditions we, the Nein, faced when we got there. I've also noted that you'll want supplies to perform at least one greater restoration per family member, as they have all been petrified into statues."

"Oh," Caduceus said again, looking at Caleb's meticulous notes on the last page. 

"You'll want to be careful, as they can shatter, and the creatures that did it—I explain this in more detail in my notes—are still around and likely want to do the same to you. It's still possible to cure them if they shatter, but it will be extremely difficult," Caleb said.

Caduceus was silent as he inspected the papers.

"This is… a lot," he said, finally.

"I'm sorry, mein freund," Caleb said, "I do not want to overwhelm you. I only wanted you to know how to save them, though I cannot help you myself. You can put it away for now and save it for when you can better process it."

"This is…" Caduceus said, trailing off as he continued to stare at Caleb's notes, "you put a lot of effort into this."

"I don't want you jumping into something blind when I have the ability to help you out," Caleb said.

"Thank you," Caduceus said, carefully folding the papers back up and putting them into the folder Caleb had fashioned for them. "Truly."

"Thank you ," Caleb said, "and know that it is no trouble for a friend."

Caduceus looked at a loss for what to say for a moment, and Caleb was content to let him stew in his thoughts.

That moment was not long lived, however, as both Veth and Beau trampled through the snow back to where they were resting.

"We found this big hollow about a hundred yards away, there's an outcropping of rock that's somewhat sheltered from the elements," Beau announced, standing in the middle of the group.

"That's gut, because I am knocked out," Caleb said.

"Oh no, can you not even cast your little bubble thing?" Jester asked.

"Oh, ja, I can cast that. But no tower tonight, I am afraid," Caleb said.

"Well then let's get over there, I'm fuckin' freezing and your dome has central heating," Veth said, immediately turning around and beginning the trek to the spot they had found. 

Caleb let out a deep sigh as he shifted himself upright, hearing more than one joint pop as he did so. He shouldered his pack once more as Caduceus did the same beside him. Looking around, he noticed that the Esseks were once again keeping their distance from each other, with his Essek grabbing his own pack and drifting closer to Caleb. It wasn't far, so the group began the task of picking up their scattered gear and trudged through the snow to the spot Veth and Beau had picked out.

They were right, it seemed a good fit to slot the dome into, the ice having already frozen into a sort of bubble from the force of the wind and the surrounding rocky outcroppings. Upon arriving Caleb immediately plopped down and began casting the dome, craving warmth if nothing else. Once Caleb had completed the motions of the ritual and the dome expanded into reality, all members of their party immediately flocked to the warm interior. 

Though Caleb was more than comfortable with the Nein, and could easily sleep in any combination of piles of people—variations thereof having been their typical arrangement for all their time on the road—this group was still unsure of each other, and began spacing out their bedrolls and bags equally throughout the dome. It brought another twist of sadness to Caleb's gut, as it once again reminded him that these people weren't his friends, at least not the ones he knew.

"It is not quite like the Nein, is it?" Essek observed, and Caleb blinked to notice that he was standing next to where Caleb had briefly zoned out. When Caleb did not immediately respond, Essek huffed a laugh and put an arm on his elbow.

"Sleep," Essek directed Caleb.

"I'm fine—" Caleb started to say, then wobbled briefly with the push of Essek's arm. Essek began pushing him closer to the back of the temporary cave and to the floor. Caleb, who likely could have resisted had he wanted to, allowed Essek to manhandle him into a seated position.

"Sleep," Essek repeated.

"Only if you join me," Caleb said, and he must have truly been tired not to monitor those words and how they might sound. The flush of his drow friend told him that the possible double entendre had been noticed, and Caleb felt himself flush in response. "You know what I mean."

"Of course," Essek said, somewhat stiffly, moving to remove his own bedroll, which he folded up in order to create a seat for his trance, his back to the ice and snow and rock behind them. Caleb followed suit, spreading his bedroll out along the ground next to Essek and throwing himself down heavily, pulling his coat off to use as a blanket as he did so. Once Essek had settled into his own position, legs crossed underneath him and looking out to survey the rest of their group, Caleb adjusted himself right up next to Essek and threw an arm over Essek's lap, nose smashed into the outside of Essek's thigh. Even though it was a fairly typical position for them, to sleep—or trance—like this, Caleb could immediately feel eyes on him as he did so. Normally, with the Nein, they would have received some light heckling from the rest of the group—who were, even at the best of times, somewhat hypocritical—but this group only watched.

"You'd think they'd never seen an elf trance before," Essek said, voice level even though Caleb recognized the statement for the joke it was.

Caleb huffed a laugh into Essek's thigh. Though the drow was joking about it, Caleb could tell he was tense.

"I can lay off, if you'd rather," Caleb said, "they probably won't stop if we stay like this."

"No!" Essek said quickly, then seemed to backtrack from his quick answer to mumble, "ah, I mean…"

"Essek," Caleb said warmly, cutting off the spluttering of the other man, "it's fine. I'd prefer you didn't tell me to move away either."

"Ah, yes," Essek said, stiffly, "good, good."

Just when Caleb had resigned himself to no heckling—and what a world it was, that Caleb craved the gentle bullying of his friends—Caleb heard a wolf whistle from across the bubble. Readjusting himself slightly, he poked a head up to see Beau looking at him steadily from across the bubble, shit eating grin in place. 

"That's all you got, Lionett?" Caleb responded, an answering grin gracing his face. 

Beau leaned back, leisurely. "Just had to make sure you two exhibitionists got what you were asking for," Beau responded. 

Caleb noted an embarrassed ear twitch from Essek in his peripheral and a mumbled, "no need to bring me into this," which only made him smile wider.

"Jealousy is a bad look on you, Beau," Caleb responded, and she sputtered to herself in response. Near her, Jester burst into laughter, choosing that moment to cross the gap between them and sit next to Beau, leaning heavily onto her shoulder.

"He's right, you know?" Jester said, "There's no need for you to sleep alone, y'know?"

Beau's head whipped around so fast she nearly caught the sharp tip of Jester's horn on her cheekbone. Jester giggled loudly at Beau's reaction to her gentle flirt.

"Wha— Jester!" Beau said, prompting a new trill of laughter from the tiefling. 

"I just meant to sleep, come on, Beau, get your mind out of the gutter," Jester said, grinning all the while, "I wouldn't want to do anything with this big of an audience anyway."

Beau sputtered again and pushed Jester off her shoulder. "No need to tease," Beau said, gruffly.

Jester pouted. "I meant what I said, though. It's coooold, Beau. Let's huddle for warmth!"

Jester turned and looked at Yasha, who had been watching the encounter with interest. "You too Yash, you look like you would be very warm to sleep with."

"What does that mean?" Yasha asked, blinking.

Beau looked between the other two and began throwing her stuff down on the ground, the loud flush to her face giving away her thoughts. Jester dragged her own stuff over and plopped down beside Beau, gesturing Yasha over as she did so. 

"You are a menace, Jester Lavorre," Beau grumbled as Jester curled up next to her on the ground. Before Jester could respond, Yasha plopped down on Beau's other side and threw an arm over the both of them. Even from his angle Caleb could see Beau stiffen briefly before relaxing. 

Once they had settled, Caleb let out a wolf whistle of his own, which Beau answered only by extracting her arm from the tangle of limbs and giving him the finger. 

On the other side of them, at the far end of the dome from Caleb and Essek, the other Essek studied the interaction with interest, though Caleb did note a good deal of that interest directed towards himself and Essek. Veth and Caduceus, meanwhile, were setting up to take the first watch, though Caleb had noted Veth rolling her eyes at the antics of the rest of them.

Caleb found himself laughing again despite himself, curling his legs up and around the curve of Essek's knee. Essek was still stiff as Caleb readjusted, but he could feel him relaxing as Caleb made it clear that he was comfortable like this.

"I still can't believe you find that comfortable," Essek commented, as if reading Caleb's mind. Caleb took a moment to remind himself that Lucien wasn't here, he was a merc down in Shady Creek Run, and no weird eye-fueled telepathy going on here. 

"It'd be better if you were laying down next to me, certainly, but I like this just fine," Caleb said, accompanied by a languid stretch that brushed his arm across Essek's thigh. He hoped this prompted the embarrassment he had pictured, but didn't readjust so he could look at Essek's face, having just laid back down.

After a moment, Essek said, "you're a tease."

"Ja, ja," Caleb said through a yawn. He felt a hand push through the hair on his head, separating out the strands and massaging his scalp.

"Sleep," Essek told him again. This time, with the warmth of Essek beside him and Essek's fingers running through his hair, Caleb found himself listening to his direction.

[Essek]

"I'll be honest, I always knew the two of you must have been messing with some really fucked up magic in order to get your asses stuck here, but after seeing a bit of Aeor, I really get the sense of it," Beau commented as they rested a moment, tucked away in a partially collapsed room with the door only slightly ajar enough for Yasha to keep watch. They were all a bit mangled from an earlier encounter with two absorbers, and had spent the first several minutes simply getting their wits about them.

"Yeah, this stuff is like, mega-dangerous," Jester said, leaning against one of the un-collapsed walls.

Essek noted his mirror self studying him, and knew that it was dangerous, bringing a version of himself that didn't have a strong attachment to these people to this place. He had been able to resist the temptation to stop and study this place only because of the dual pronged issues of the world being at stake and because the Nein had asked him to accompany them, so he couldn't very well abscond to investigate every little hint of dunamis. Thus far the other Essek had stayed with them, but he had noticed the interest, the desire, as they had made their way deeper into the ruined city.

"Mega dangerous is definitely one way to put it, ja," Caleb agreed. Essek had noticed, as well, that Caleb was keeping an eye on the other Essek, recognizing the same thing in him that Essek had. 

"What were you even doing that made you come here? You've never explained," Yasha asked from her spot near the door, hand still on her sword.

"Ah—" Essek said, at the same time Caleb said, "well—"

They both broke off and looked at each other sheepishly.

Caleb continued, following some unspoken cue from Essek, and said, "We are not certain, but we suspect that our destruction of something might have caused a backlash of dunamantic energy that might have thrust us through to another universe."

"Accidental or intentional destruction?" Beau asked.

"Intentional," both he and Caleb said.

"What did you destroy?" Veth asked.

"Some things are not meant for this world," Essek said, diplomatically, with a sideways glance at Caleb.

Caleb grimaced. "It has long been my goal to discover some way to travel through time, fix my mistakes. Right wrongs," he said, and Essek noted his double sit up straighter as he listened. "It seems that the Aeorians devised some method of doing that. But, in the end, some things are not worth the risk. There are too many variables, working with time and possibility, and it would be too easy to abuse, or mess up. And I have come to cherish what my life has become, and would not wish to change that."

"And you?" Beau asked, gesturing towards Essek, "you've been a bit quiet on the matter. Did you agree?"

"I had already decided not to fix my own mistakes. As great as they are, I could not determine what the changes might do. And ultimately, I was selfish enough to value my friendships with the Nein more than that," Essek said, "I would have gladly helped Caleb in whatever he asked of me, but I could not do it for my own sake. And I approve of the decision Caleb made, for what it's worth."

"It is worth a great deal," Caleb commented, softly enough Essek wasn't certain who was meant to hear it, if anyone.

"So you really had the chance to go back in time and instead you, what, blew the place up?" Veth asked, tone sharp but ultimately non-judgmental.

"Disintegrated it, to be precise," Caleb said.

"And how will you fix it?" Beau asked. "This seems to be a lot of theory, not a lot of practical knowledge."

"Seeing as how we had little time to examine the cause of our displacement, theory is about all we have to go on," Essek said. 

"The chamber is not far from here, but it may take some study before we are able to do anything about our predicament," Caleb told them.

"If you have to time travel to get back to your home, will you do it?" Jester asked.

Beside him, Essek noted Caleb picking at his arms at the suggestion. Without a word, he reached out and took one of Caleb’s hands in his own.

"I suppose that depends," Essek said with a measured glance at Caleb, who had taken to having a staring contest with the floor.

"On?" Jester prompted.

"How far, to what extent, that sort of thing. It is hard to know until we can examine it," Essek said, running his thumb over Caleb's knuckles in what he hoped would come across as soothing. 

"You destroyed the device rather than time travel, the idea of using it was so abhorrent to you. What if getting home requires you to use it?" Beau asked, getting to the heart of the matter, "what then?"

Essek was silent for a moment, nearly feeling the roiling emotions coming from the human at his side. "I don't know," Essek said.

"Is the idea of staying with us that terrible?" Jester asked. The pout on her face was exaggerated, over the top, the kind she used with her patrons to get what she wanted. And yet Essek sensed an honesty behind it, like Jester was falling back on old habits when she didn't know how to address her emotions.

Away from her, the other Essek watched the discussion with great interest. Essek wondered, if he and Caleb were to become stuck in this universe, what the other Essek would do about the situation. What would he have done, in his position?

"It's not the idea of staying with you that I hate, Jester," Caleb said, softly. Genuinely. "I am, in fact, very sad to leave you. But we miss our friends very much. We miss our lives and the community we have built there."

"Yeah, I figured," Jester said, "what's the other Jester got that's so great? If it's memories, we can remake them!"

Jester scrambled upright and strode over to Caleb.

"What's the first memory of you and your Jester that comes to mind right now?" Jester asked, almost demanding, "no time to think, just the first thing!"

Caleb seemed to be shocked out of his daze by the tone of her voice and blinked at her. "Doing the waltz at a tavern in Hupperdook. We had only known each other a few weeks, and I was very drunk," he told her.

Essek calculated. He believed this was a story he had heard—or more accurately, that he had heard of the fallout of the situation, when they had nearly had all of their money stolen right out from under their noses. And that it was one of the last times they were all together before Molly died. Odd, that an old memory was the first to surface, but Essek supposed it could have been anything. 

"Oh!" Jester responded with a clap of her hands, "how romantic! You weren't in love with me, were you? Because that sounds very romantic."

"Ah," Caleb said, looking sheepish, "well, you are very lovable, Miss. Lavorre."

Jester immediately looked like the cat that got the cream, and Beau let out a loud snort.

"That wasn't a no!" Jester observed, something that Essek was also trying to parse. This was not information that Essek had ever been made aware of, if Caleb was indeed implying he was or is attracted to Jester.

"It was not," Caleb said with a little huff of laughter.

"Come on!" Jester said, holding out a hand to the still seated Caleb, taking the confession of past romantic feelings for her double in stride, "let's dance."

"Is now really the best time?" Caleb asked, glancing around the ruined room and all their companions in various states of post-battle exhaustion.

"You are about to leave me forever, Mr. Widogast," Jester said authoritatively, "I think I deserve a dance, even if it is in a ruined city full of death magic and skeletons."

"I suppose I cannot argue with that," Caleb said, taking her hand and allowing himself to be hoisted upright. Caleb had several inches on her and needed to look down to meet her gaze. 

Jester immediately took Caleb's hands and positioned them in what Essek assumed must be the stance for a waltz—a dance he had heard of, but had no reason to have learned, it being Zemnian. Caleb had a crooked grin on his face as he began to hum a little tune and step forward. Jester must have been familiar with the dance, because she followed his steps enthusiastically, giving little flourishes that Essek could not imagine were part of the dance.

"What did you two talk about when you danced?" Jester asked.

Caleb paused his humming to answer, "mostly I told you you were a good dancer." He launched back into humming when he finished speaking.

"Boring," Jester said, sweeping herself into a twirl, though Caleb recognized what she was going for quickly enough to provide the support for it. The large scattering of debris and the large hole in one corner of the room contributed to the difficulty of their movement around the room, to say nothing of the effort required not to trip over the remaining party members, scattered in various spots on the floor.

Across the room and on the other side of Jester and Caleb's demonstration, Caduceus was smiling softly as he tracked their movements, Beau was making exaggerated gagging motions for anyone who would watch, and the other Essek was staring pointedly not at the two of them but at him. Essek raised an eyebrow as he made eye contact, and the Essek grimaced and turned back to Caleb and Jester.

"I believe I also told you that you were very blue," Caleb mused.

Jester snorted. On the floor, so did Beau.

"I did mention that I was very drunk," Caleb commented.

"You sure know how to sweep a girl off her feet," Jester said.

Caleb just laughed in response.

"Did you and her not happen because you met Essek, is that what it was?" Jester asked, and Caleb immediately tripped on a chunk of rubble he had already neatly avoided on three prior circuits. Jester kept him upright with a knowing glance.

"There were many factors involved," Caleb said with a cough, "I think someone else should take a go now. Beau, how about you try your hand at a waltz?"

"What?" Beau asked, going from shit eating grin to panic in a matter of seconds.

"Oh, yes, Beau, come on!" Jester said, reaching over and hauling Beau upright next to her. Caleb scurried away as Beau gave him a dirty look. 

"I don't know how to waltz," Beau said.

"That's more fun!" Jester said, rearranging their hands into the proper stance. 

Caleb shuffled back over to rejoin Essek on the floor. They both sat silently for a moment as they watched Jester nearly drag Beau across the floor in a lazy dance approximating a waltz.

Essek couldn't hold the question in for too long, and only a couple minutes passed before he asked, "you were in love with Jester?"

"Ah, you caught that, huh?" Caleb said with a hand rubbing his neck. As if Essek could have missed anything that Caleb did, as if Essek didn't have some part of his attention always focused on the other wizard.

"Yes," Essek said, simply.

"I meant what I said. Jester is a lovable person. At one point in time I believe half the Nein were in love with her," Caleb commented.

"Legitimately?" Essek asked.

"Ja," Caleb said, "myself, Beau, and Fjord, at the very least."

"Oh," Essek said. He mused for a moment. Jester was very endearing, and had he held any interest in women he could almost imagine her managing to pull him in, the same way she had managed to pull him into friendship with her. He couldn't even blame Caleb, even though a part of him thrummed with useless jealousy.

"I had no intention to act on it, though," Caleb said, looking back to where Jester had convinced Caduceus to dance with her while Beau retreated to join Yasha on guard duty.

"Why not?" Essek asked, despite his better judgment.

"I…" Caleb trailed off, like he was suddenly unsure of what to say. "I told myself that either of them—Beau or Fjord—would have been better for her than I ever could be. I got… comfortable, almost, with the feelings, knowing I had no intent to act on them."

"What makes you think you wouldn't have been good for her?" Essek asked.

"The two of them, they would have set things aside to do right by Jester. But I was too ambitious, both then and now, to turn away from my own plans. And besides," Caleb said, ruefully, "a part of me still believed I wasn't worth loving."

Essek just stared. "Caleb, I—"

"I know," Caleb cut him off, "I'm supposed to be gentler with myself. And I'm trying, I really am. But it's hard to completely ignore those feelings."

Essek took a deep breath and reclaimed one of Caleb's hands. "If I must listen to you telling me that I am worth saving, then you must give yourself that same grace."

Caleb stared at their joined hands. With a shaky breath he said, "I know. And I am doing better, I am. I owe most of that to the Nein, but a lot of it I owe to you."

"No debts between us," Essek told him, echoing a phrase he'd said many times to Caleb.

Caleb took Essek's hand, the one already holding one of Caleb's, and lifted it his lips, placing a barely there kiss to his knuckles. Essek lost the ability to breathe for a few seconds—Caleb was very free with his affections, but this wasn't just affectionate but reverent , as Caleb gazed at Essek, pulling the hand back into his lap.

"I know," Caleb said, and Essek was trying so hard to process the moment that he nearly forgot what Caleb was responding to.

"That's— that's good," Essek said, dumbly, breaking eye contact and looking back to watch Jester sweep Caduceus through unfamiliar dance steps, the firbolg's longer legs ungainly in the movements. In Essek's periphery he could see a fond smile grace Caleb's face.

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

In the end, Jester's scenario seemed quite moot.

Caleb recognized as soon as they grew close to the T-Dock that the area was different, thrumming with dunamis to a nearly distracting degree. Both Esseks also picked up on it, being as tuned-in to the nature of dunamancy as they were. It seemed to put them on edge.

The region of the hallway that previously—currently?—held the T-Dock was so full of the energy Caleb felt like he was nearly swimming through the magical potential. 

It was readily apparent where the dunamis was coming from once they reached what was once the door to the T-Dock. The door that they had once had to unlock to get into the room both was and was not there—at times, Caleb saw the door, while at others the door flickered out of existence and Caleb could see into the room beyond.

"Hey," Beau said, coming up next to them as all three stared at the door-not-door, "this is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Is this what it looked like for you?"

"Absolutely not," Essek said as Caleb responded, "nein."

"It looks like whatever you did in your universe really fucked things up here," Veth said, peering at the door from behind Caleb's legs.

Caleb took a step forward and pulled back his sleeve to reveal the bracelet with the gem that could unlock the door. With a sideways glance to his Essek, he held the bracelet in place. He heard the locking mechanism unlatch, and the door unlocked, leaving the way clear. 

He and the two Esseks peered in, and Caleb could feel Veth's clawed hands holding steady to the back of his coat.

"Careful, we don't know what will happen," Veth said, "we don't need any mad wizards doing something dangerous."

"That seems a bit 'too little, too late,'" Beau said, arms crossed and leaning against the wall on the other side of the hallway. 

Yasha and Caduceus flanked them down either side of the hallway, keeping watch for any more Aeorian horrors. Though the area had been eerily clear of the beasts, they had come upon enough of them to know they didn't want to deal with more than they had to.

"I will be careful," Caleb said, remaining on the hallway side of the threshold and taking stock of what he saw on the other side of the doorway.

The state off the room matched the door—aspects of the room flickered in and out of reality at an unsteady rate. A table would be there one second, covered in papers and inkwells and journals, and the next it would flicker from existence. A second later it would reappear, only to immediately disappear again, in an endless loop. Every item in the room followed this pattern, though none of them seemed to be on the same loop, so certain items would disappear and reappear out of sync with other items in the room. It was like the items had been banished to another plane, but were being repeatedly pulled back and forth between this plane and some other one, far away.

The raised platform in the center of the chamber also flickered in and out of time, the runic inscription of transmutation and dunamancy glowing when it was present in their world only to be snuffed out every time the platform and the accompanying structure disappeared.

"Fascinating," the other Essek said, eyes wide and darting all over the space. As with most of Aeor so far, he seemed to be doing his best to memorize and analyze in the span of seconds.

"I suppose the destruction of a device that anchored so much raw potential did not sit well with the balance of the universe," Caleb said.

"If you go in there, will you flicker out like the rest of that stuff?" Jester asked, looking dubious. She was on tiptoes, trying to look over the heads of both Esseks—though his Essek had his feet on the ground and was therefore several inches shorter than Jester, the other Essek adamantly remained floating, making him a bit taller than Jester. 

"Good question," Essek said, and Jester preened at the comment. 

Reaching down, Essek grabbed a small bit of rubble that lay at his foot, seemingly unaffected by the magical effect within the room. Without looking at the rest of the group, he gently tossed it into the room. As it sailed through the threshold there was a wobble, as if it too was briefly impacted by the dunamis in the room, before landing a few feet into the doorway, remaining remarkably more tangible than the rest of the room.

"Interesting," Caleb said, rubbing a hand over his beard in thought, "I wonder what would happen if it landed in the space some of the furniture occupies."

"Precision throwing is not my forte," Essek responded.

"Step aside, then," Veth said, "my time has come."

With a chuckle, Essek made room for Veth in the doorway. Veth grabbed another bit of rock from the same pile Essek had previously plundered and took aim for one of the chairs near the door. With a careful lob the rock landed neatly in the location where the chair leg sometimes sat. It sat there peacefully for a moment before the chair flickered back into existence. At the reappearance of the chair the rock was violently shunted out of the space, rocketing several feet away and cracking from the impact.

"It seems to follow the same parameters as most teleportation-type spells," Essek observed, "though typically it is the one doing the teleporting that gets shunted elsewhere, not the item that got teleported into."

"This doesn't look to be a form of teleportation, though, and therefore we should not expect it to follow all of the same rules," mirror Essek said.

"Perhaps we could read something into that, though. If the rock gets thrust outside of the space, not the chair, then perhaps this universe recognizes that the chair is, in fact, supposed to exist. That the chair's existence is the truth, and its non-existence is an anomaly," Caleb commented.

"Which would track, since the T-Dock was never destroyed in this universe, and therefore by all accounts everything in this room should still be here," Essek said.

"That's all well and good, but what does it mean practically?" Beau interrupted. Caleb jumped, and both he and Essek turned and looked at her. Caleb realized then that he had zoned out, forgetting that the others were there. Based on Beau's expression, she recognized that as well.

"Look, it's very sweet to see all of you wizards theorizing, but I just wonder what it means in a practical sense. It's not much good to extrapolate if you can't do anything with it," Beau said after they all stared at her.

"That's fair, but I'm not sure how to move forward yet without—" Caleb said, only to be again interrupted by Beau sticking a hand over his mouth and then pushing him aside, stepping directly into the T-Dock chamber.

"Beau, be careful!" Jester yelped, moving after her by rote. Jester's forward momentum caused both of them to fall face first into the room. Caleb readied himself to attempt to yank them out even as he heard the thumping footsteps of Yasha joining them.

"What's wrong, I heard shouting!" Yasha said, easily peering over the rest of them into the room.

The room, where Jester and Beau were sprawled across the floor.

"So long as you don't enter a space where something already exists, it seems to be fine," Jester said. Beneath her, face pressed into the floor, Beau grumbled something that sounded like agreement.

"Sorry, sorry," Jester said, looking not apologetic in the least. She sat up enough that Beau could roll onto her back.

"Don't lie to my face, babe, it's rude," Beau said, wiping rubble off her face.

"Hmmhmm," Jester hummed, a response that was neither an apology nor a promise not to do so in the future.

Beau rolled her eyes and pushed Jester off so she could stand up. Caleb watched as she carefully planted herself in an area of the room thankfully free of furniture or other items.

"It seems we're fine, the room isn't causing us to be weird like everything else here," Beau said, inspecting the central device from afar. 

"I wonder," other Essek started, looking at Caleb and Essek, "whether the same is true for the two of you."

Caleb raised an eyebrow at the other Essek.

"That's a fair question," Essek said, looking thoughtful.

Other Essek stretched an arm out from under his mantle and held it into the room. Like the pebble and Jester and Beau before him, there was a shimmer around his arm as it entered the room, but it otherwise remained solid. Seemingly taking this as permission to enter, other Essek floated into the room to join Beau in surveying the device.

Caleb looked at Essek. "There's only one way to find out," he said with a shrug.

"Terrible," Essek said with a fond grin. Setting his shoulders, Essek reached a hand into the room, Caleb joining him a beat later.

Much like the others, as soon as their arms entered the space, there was a wobble like the quality of cobblestones on a hot day. Unlike the others, this wobble did not stop. There was a moment where Caleb thought that might be it, before he, to his great misfortune, watched his left arm flicker from existence.

This caused him to let out a squawk in shock and backpedal out of the room. Essek, to his side, seemed to be having a similar reaction. Even once he had removed himself from the room his arm stayed gone, only to reappear a moment later and then flicker back out.

"Caleb? Essek?" Jester said, concern in her voice as she ran out of the room to join them. "Does it hurt?"

"No?" Caleb answered, tone twisting in surprise as it was hard to square the non-existence of his arm with the fact that it still felt like his arm was there. He knew exactly where it was, even if he could not see it. Looking across to Essek, he knew he was thinking the same thing.

"Jester, hold out your hand like you're asking me to dance," Caleb directed, and Jester acquiesced without complaint.

Seeing her outstretched hand, he carefully placed his left hand in hers. It was nonexistent, but then the next moment Jester gasped as his arm reappeared, holding hers.

"It doesn't hurt, it feels like it's still there," Essek commented. Caleb watched as the wobble slowly moved up Essek's shoulder, the pace slow enough that it was not readily apparent.

"It seems that this universe is suddenly realizing that we are not meant to be here," Caleb said, holding up his left arm in front of him to inspect it. While he did so it flickered in and out like his arm had a bad connection with the universe. 

"I think we should go into the room," Essek said. 

"Probably so," Caleb agreed, to Jester's apparent dismay.

"Come on, it's not that bad," Caleb said, putting his right arm on her shoulder. "It doesn't even feel like there's anything different."

Caleb noticed Jester's lip wobble moments before her body slammed into his in a hug.

"Oof!" Caleb let out as Jester wrapped her surprisingly strong arms around him.

"It looks like I won't be able to hug you right before you go, so I'm doing it now," Jester said, and then she fumbled through her pockets before finding a green ribbon.

"Here, a moment," Jester said, and then sped through the motions of a braid before using the green ribbon to secure it, tying off an elaborate bow. "To remember me."

Disentangling herself, she grabbed Essek and pulled him into a hug of similar strength. When she pulled away she pulled out another length of green ribbon. "Your hair isn't long enough for a braid," Jester said, frustratedly, grabbing Essek's corporeal arm and tying another elaborate bow around his wrist.

"You two better tell your Jester all about me and how great I am," Jester said, sniffling.

"Of course we will," Caleb said, leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead. "Thank you for the gift."

"You are unforgettable, Jester," Essek said, gripping her shoulder, "I will always remember you fondly."

"Good," she said, then turned and stomped back into the chamber. "I don't like dwelling on goodbyes!"

At that moment Caduceus made himself known, approaching from where he had been keeping watch.

"If you are about to leave, I wanted to say my farewell," Caduceus said, "so farewell."

Caleb stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug. He did not linger for long but did press a firm look into his eyes.

"Don't be a stranger to these people," Caleb said, "they could become great friends to you."

Caduceus gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I know."

With a deep breath Caleb turned around to see that Yasha had disappeared into the room as well. Looking over at Essek, he began to move towards the former T-Dock chamber.

The moment Caleb stepped into the chamber, Essek at his side, he felt like he was being choked in dunamis. Looking to Essek, he saw a panicked expression that probably resembled his own.

Even more disconcerting was the fact that the effect had now taken over Essek's entire body, and he had begun to flicker in and out much like the furniture. Despite this, Caleb was suddenly aware of where Essek was as well as every item in the room. Glancing down at his body, he was unsurprised to find himself subject to the same effect.

"Caleb, Essek? You there?" Beau asked, and Caleb looked to where she was standing with the other Essek. Their attention had turned fully to them now, no longer caught by the machine in the middle.

"Ja," Caleb said, and his words traveled like static through the air.

Beau grimaced. Other Essek looked intrigued, and floated in his direction.

"How does it feel?" he asked, floating level with where Caleb was. He told himself not to make any sudden moves, for fear of coming to occupy the same space as one of his friends.

"A bit like when one of your limbs falls asleep after you lay on it wrong," Caleb said, his voice keeping the same staticky quality.

"But no pain?" he asked.

"Nein," Caleb said. Behind other Essek, Caleb saw his own Essek inspecting the table and chairs, testing the interaction between himself and the furniture. 

"You seem to be aware of us even when we can't see you," Beau commented.

"Ja, that's because my consciousness never really leaves. It could simply be an illusory effect if not for the knowledge that you could pass through me when I am not visible to you," Caleb said.

"Perhaps that is because we are currently both here and in our own universe," Essek mused, "when I look around this room I feel like I have double vision, like this universe and our own are overlaid on top of each other."

"That's a good way to explain it," Caleb said, noting that he must have just flickered back into sight because Jester, Beau, and Yasha all turned to look at him again.

"Doesn't help figure out how to get us back to our universe properly, though," Essek said, pausing his inspection of the table and heading up to the central device. Essek easily stepped up onto the uprooted platform, remaining there even when it flickered out of view. Like Essek had said, Caleb was distinctly aware of every object in the room, as if they both were and were not there. 

"It's a step, at least," Caleb said, moving in the direction of Essek.

"Where are you going?" Veth asked. Caleb looked over and saw that Veth had now entered the room but was keeping to the walls. Caduceus was also in the room now, though he remained near the door.

"Towards Essek?" Caleb said. He clambered up the platform, getting a bit of vertigo as he climbed up something that both was and was not supporting him.

"I was wondering where he went," Jester said, "can you see him?"

"I can see everything in this room, it's just a bit fuzzy," Caleb said.

"I'm up here," Essek said from atop the platform, though his voice was decidedly more staticky than Caleb's had been earlier.

"Ioun's tits, Essek!" Beau yelped, "why do you sound like that?"

"Do I sound weird?" Essek asked, looking over at Beau, and then, realizing she still couldn't see him, looking at Caleb.

"Your voice is a little more unreal than mine is, even," Caleb said, "I wonder if it's because you're standing on the rune?"

"I suppose I am," Essek said, and Caleb saw Jester flinch in his peripheral vision.

"At least I know where to look, now," Veth said, "why haven't you reappeared recently, Essek?"

"Perhaps Caleb is right. Interacting with the items in this room seems to make my form more difficult to maintain. Caleb hasn't been touching anything," Essek commented, leaning over to inspect the runes that Caleb had completely obliterated in their universe.

"It's the same runes from before," Caleb observed, remaining to the side of the circle, "a combination of dunamancy and transmutation."

"Has nothing changed from your universe?" Caleb heard from just behind his ear. Turning around, he saw the other Essek flying almost directly behind him, looking at the runes.

"Sheisse!" Caleb yelped. Other Essek's eyes widened and he moved in a semicircle away from him, still looking at the circle in front of them.

"Apologies," other Essek said, "I did not realize I was so close."

"Have I not reappeared recently?" Caleb asked.

"Not for a minute at least," Beau said, still in her spot away from the device.

"I wonder if it is connected to how long we are in the room, or whether it's proximity to the T-Dock device," Caleb mused.

"We entered the room at the same time, and yet it seemed to affect me more quickly, which leads me to believe it is connected to this device," Essek said.

"Considering it was the source of the dunamis in the area, that would tend to make sense," Caleb said.

The two of them were silent for a moment, staring at the runes as if they might provide an answer.

The moment was shattered when Jester said, "what's happening? Are they still here?"

"Ja," Caleb answered, while Essek simply said, "We're here."

"They're in wizard mode," Caleb heard Veth say.

"Perhaps the problem isn't something we can see," Essek commented, looking over at Caleb for the first time in a while, "this room is full of dunamis, and that is almost certainly what is causing this effect."

Caleb blinked and nodded, saying, "the items in the room are functionally the same as before it was destroyed, the main difference is-"

"The release of energy from the machine," Essek finished.

They looked at each other.

"When you disintegrated the machine, there was suddenly a distinct lack of potential in this area, a black hole of sorts," Essek said, standing up again and pacing across the there-not-there rune, "it didn't actually cause a black hole, at least not in a graviturgical sense, but there is a surprising lack of research regarding the chronurgical properties of a dark star. Perhaps this is what a dark star of massive proportions looks like when it rips into multiple universes."

"Perhaps, but that is nothing we have not already considered. It is clear that these are the effects of the destruction of the T-Dock, and it would only follow that the sudden non-existence of that much potential would set the world off-kilter," Caleb said.

"Perhaps you need to lean into the potential?" mirror Essek commented, and Caleb snapped his head back to him, suddenly remembering there were more people in the room.

"Perhaps so," his Essek responded.

"And embrace the dunamis around us, allow it to take us back to where we belong!" Caleb said, "Danke, Essek!"

He leaned over—because other Essek had hovered back closer in order to observe the rune and to listen to their conversation—and pressed a kiss to the other Essek's cheek, realizing only after he did it that he probably wouldn't be able to tell what he’d just done without the context of sight.

Other Essek blinked. "What was that?" he asked, hand coming up to his cheek.

Caleb huffed some laughter that likely sounded horrifying due to the way the effect was warping his voice. "Apologies, mein freund, I got a bit excited."

Other Essek's eyes narrowed, then quickly widened as he realized what it was he probably just felt. "Ah," other Essek said, "it is no trouble."

Caleb registered the growing flush on the other Essek and turned back to his own, who was watching the exchange intensely.

"Essek," Caleb said.

"Yes?" both Esseks responded. Caleb grimaced at the odd quality of the overlapping voices.

"Sorry, I meant my Essek," Caleb said looking over at Essek, "You're much more attuned to dunamancy. Would you be able to just… open us up to the dunamantic potential in the air?"

"Perhaps," Essek said, "though I worry it might destabilize the area further."

"We can get away from here," Jester offered.

"That would be advisable," Essek said, looking over at where several of their companions had converged. "If I reach into the dunamantic potential around us it is possible I could fold us back into the proper universe, but that could increase the effect or cause even more unexpected ramifications."

"Alright," Beau said, "I guess this is maybe goodbye?"

"Your Essek will be able to tell you if it's safe to come back here, and I promise we will respond if we are still here when you come back," Caleb said.

"Okay," Jester said, "be safe!"

"Make good choices," Caduceus offered.

"Please deal with your UST," Beau commented.

"Yeah, ditto," Veth tagged on.

"Tell your version of me that I said hello," Yasha said.

"Oh, same!" Jester said.

"Well tell your version of me that she's a bitch and I hate her," Veth said.

"What the fuck, Nott?" Beau asked.

"What? I don't want her getting cocky," Veth said.

The group was still bickering as they left the room. The other Essek lingered, still hovering near the two of them. After a moment of indecision, he finally said, "take care of each other," before making a hasty retreat.

"Essek!" Caleb called out before he left the room. Other Essek paused and turned around.

"Take care of yourself," Caleb said, gently, "and remember that nothing is set in stone. You still have time to change.

"Ah," other Essek said, stiffly, "yes. Thank you, Caleb." And then he quickly fled the room.

"You're giving him a heart attack," Essek told him when Caleb rejoined him in the center of the platform.

"You would know, huh?" Caleb joked.

"Yes, I would know," Essek said seriously, though Caleb could tell he was joking too. "We should give them time to retreat before we try anything."

"Good idea," Caleb said, "is there anything I can do to assist you?"

"I will likely have to tap into your energy stores to do this," Essek said as Caleb came closer, "it will be much like what we did before the battle with Lucien."

"Understood," Caleb said, drifting right up next to Essek. "No runes this time, though."

"No, no runes," Essek agreed, "this isn't a spell so much as opening ourselves up to the potential around us."

The two of them stood there, clearly full of nerves, as they waited for their friends to get far enough away and considered their next steps.

After some time with both of them fidgeting, too nervous to make small talk, Essek stood straighter.

"That's enough time, I believe," Essek said.

"You would know better than I," Caleb said, joining him on top of the rune that was still flickering in and out of existence.

"Come here," Essek said, holding an arm out. Caleb took the offered hand and was pulled close—had Essek been taller, he likely would have tucked Caleb under his arm. With Essek's feet planted on the ground right now, Caleb simply looped his arm under Essek's, tucking Essek under his chin.

"You could have just asked if you wanted to cuddle," Caleb joked even as he situated an arm around Essek's waist.

"I didn't realize what a cheap date you were, Mr. Widogast," Essek commented with a smile. He did not extricate himself from Caleb's chest, Caleb noted with a flutter of affection.

"Only if the date is you, Herr Thelyss," Caleb countered.

Essek smiled at Caleb, a somewhat tentative thing, then returned to the problem at hand.

"I can't know how big the radius on this will be, even with you anchoring part of it," Essek explained, "I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"I appreciate that," Caleb said, "though it would have been fine to say you needed the moral support."

Essek rolled his eyes. "I'm going to try to manipulate the dunamis around us. I want you to do the same, but be careful to remain tethered to me. I would rather not risk us ending up separated."

"Would tether essence be useful here?" Caleb asked.

Essek looked thoughtful, then responded, "perhaps, but that spell generally involves effects acting on a person, and doesn't necessarily keep them close or even on the same realm. It's possible that it could ensure that the dunamis interacts with us the same way, but it's entirely theoretical at this point."

"Do you think it would hurt, though?" Caleb asked.

"Unlikely," Essek said, "though as all of this is theoretical I cannot say for certain."

Caleb hummed in response while Essek allowed him to think it through. 

"I think I'll cast it, just in case," Caleb said, "that way you can save your energy."

"Be my guest," Essek said.

Caleb busied himself with pulling out the components of the tether essence spell, casting it quickly so they did not need to worry about any sort of delay. Essek got that intense look he always got whenever Caleb cast dunamancy, and Caleb smiled softly to himself.

In a moment, Caleb felt the tingle of the spell take hold; unlike what Caleb had assumed prior to feeling the effects of the spell, it did not result in a doubled sensation, mirroring every touch or thought of the other party. There was a background hum that Caleb knew could be something, and if Caleb pressed his fingers hard enough into Essek's back he might be able to feel something on his back, but not necessarily something like a touch. As with most of dunamancy, the spell felt more like the potential of something than anything concrete.

"I will begin now," Essek said, once he felt the effect of the spell settle on him as well.

"I'm ready," Caleb said with a nod.

"No time like the present," Essek said ruefully, and then Caleb felt the tug as Essek embraced the dunamis around them. Essek ran his fingers through the air at his side, forming runes that did not take shape, did not glow with energy or impact the world around them, that were not intended to direct the energy in any concrete way, but seemed to stem from a desire to do something, anything, with his hands.

Caleb understood the impulse, and with his left hand—the one not currently bunched up in the fabric on Essek's back, underneath the fur lined mantle—he too began idly tracing runes through the air at his side. At first he followed Essek's lead and traced out a few dunamancy runes, but once he realized it didn't particularly matter what he did he switched over to the oh-so familiar structure of the Polymorph spell.

He felt the air around them growing more oppressive, the feeling of potential sparking around them, feeling like static electricity over his body, like water choking his throat.

Caleb wasn't sure if it would be a bad idea to talk, but after a time where they both just stood there and felt the pressure around them rising, he decided to risk it and say something, anything, to feel less weird about just standing there running his fingers through the air.

"I believe we may need to redirect our en—" Caleb started to say, but then stopped when he felt a tug near his navel. Looking at Essek's wide eyes, Caled presumed he'd felt something similar. Before Caleb could muster up a question, he felt the sensation of falling.

He found it quite similar to when you jolt awake at night, believing yourself to be falling, in that it was sudden, a little terrifying, and lasted only a moment. That sensation quickly morphed into the feeling of being suffocated, as if someone had come upon him and suddenly swaddled him in many, many blankets, all shifting around him. Only the feeling of his hand, still in contact with Essek by his side, made the experience less terrifying.

And then, before he knew it, the sensation was gone, and they were actually falling.

[Essek]

Picking himself up from the crumpled heap on the floor that he had landed in, Essek recognized the lack of foresight in attempting to jump back into their universe while standing on top of a structure that no longer existed in their own world.

Thankfully, the platform had only been a few feet off the ground, so he only felt a little sore from the impact with the ground. Caleb was grumbling on the ground next to him as he picked himself back up and brushed off his coat.

"Did we make it?" Caleb asked, looking up and making eye contact with Essek. 

It was a good question. Looking around the room, it looked much the same as they had left it in their time, disintegrated material gone and crumbled ruins remaining. Every so often Essek would see a flicker out of the corner of his eye that looked like the ghost of a chair, or a table. These illusions didn't seem to stand up under direct scrutiny, and might just represent the left-over dunamantic energy in the area.

"It looks the same as we left it," Essek said thoughtfully, reaching out a tentative hand to run over some of the rubble, "but I can't say that means this is our universe."

"How can we prove it?" Caleb asked, scanning the room. He had clearly noticed the illusions as well and seemed to be having just as much trouble isolating the source of it.

"Perhaps we can ask Jester or Caduceus to scry on us? If they can find us, that means we're on the same plane as them," Essek proposed.

"Good idea," Caleb said, "do you have Sending prepared today?"

"I do," Essek said, plucking his hand through the air in the motion for the Sending spell.

" Jester ," Essek spoke into the spell, " I do not mean to alarm, but Caleb and I would appreciate it if you scryed on us and told us where we are. "

Caleb made a face at his wording, but Essek was simply pleased at having been able to hit exactly twenty-five words with his message.

Essek only had to wait a moment before the answer came through.

I KNEW YOU WERE HIDING SOMETHING! Essek heard immediately. 

There was the briefest of pauses before the message continued in a staccato manner that usually meant Jester was having Fjord count out her words as she went. I'LL SCRY ON YOU. BUT YOU BETTER BE OKAY. OR I WILL. CRY AND ALSO. PROBABLY KILL YOU MYSELF!

“She will scry on us,” Essek said, removing his own amulet against scrying and handing it to Caleb. Caleb seemed hesitant to take it from him, despite the necessity, which Essek would have found sweet had he not recognized the wisdom in Caleb’s fear. 

He shoved the locket into Caleb’s hands anyway. “We’ll be fine for the moment,” Essek told him, “it’s not as if we are in an easy to access location right now anyway.”

“I know,” Caleb said, “it just worries me.”

“I understand—” Essek started to say, but his comment was cut off as the sound of Jester’s voice cut through his thoughts again.

HEY ESSEK, I TRIED SENDING TO CALEB AND HE DIDN’T RESPOND, DOES THAT MEAN YOU’RE IN YOUR UNIVERSE NOW? EVERYTHING’S A LITTLE LESS WEIRD HERE—

The thought was cut off as mirror Jester’s spell hit the word limit. Essek found himself smiling despite himself.

“ It’s a good sign that your message to Caleb failed. Jester is about to scry to see if we’re on the same plane as her ,” Essek told her.

No message was immediately forthcoming, so Essek imagined she was either at her limit of spells for the day, or was waiting to hear more news from him. Essek looked back at Caleb.

“Did the other Jester try to Send to me?” Caleb asked.

“Yes, she said the spell failed,” Essek said, “which is a good sign in that it means we must be on another plane from her.”

“But it doesn’t mean we’re in the right one,” Caleb said carefully.

“No, which is why it’s good we’re having Jester scry on us,” Essek said, “Scry only works on the same plane.”

Caleb looked like he was about to respond to Essek’s comment when Essek’s thoughts were once again interrupted by Jester’s voice. He held up a hand to Caleb and looked away; Caleb immediately recognized that Essek was getting a message.

I SCRYED ON YOU, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE IN AEOR, THERE’S A LOT OF RUBBLE IN THE ROOM BUT NOT MUCH ELSE. Jester told him. There was a brief pause, and then Essek heard, DOOT DOOO, as Jester rounded out her twenty-five words.

“ The fact that you were able to scry on us at all is all the answer we needed, thank you Jester ,” Essek said, looking across to Caleb, whose face had cracked into a huge grin. Essek lost count of how many words he had used in the sudden realization that they were back, and Caleb was smiling at him like Essek was his entire world. He knew the spell was about to end, though, and didn’t want to disappoint Jester by using too few words, so he followed her lead and said, “ doot do doot do doo.”

“You threw in one too many ‘dos’,” Caleb told him, grin never leaving his face.

“I lost count,” Essek said defensively, feeling a flush rise to his face, “some of us don’t have perfect memory.”

Something seemed to come over Caleb in that moment and he took several quick, confident steps in Essek’s direction. Essek was almost overcome with the urge to flee, but fought against it, because he trusted Caleb. 

Loved him, even.

And with that thought, Caleb cupped Essek face in both his hands and pressed his forehead against Essek’s own.

“You brilliant bastard,” Caleb said, the words sounding almost reverent despite their usual connotation, “you got us home.”

“It was a joint effort,” Essek said weakly, overcome with the weight of Caleb’s attention on him.

Caleb just let out a laugh that somehow sounded both fond and manic, and then suddenly his lips were on Essek’s, his beard scratching against Essek’s mouth and chin, Caleb's hands never leaving Essek's face. Essek was so surprised that he didn’t respond for the first few seconds of the kiss, to the point where he felt Caleb start to pull away. It was in that moment he realized what was about to happen if he did not react, and so he ended up ungracefully scrabbling for the front of Caleb’s coat to pull him back in, leaning into the kiss and turning his head so their noses stopped bumping each other awkwardly. Caleb let out a noise that sounded pleased at this development, and crowded in closer to Essek.

With Essek’s feet pressed firmly on the ground, Caleb was leaning over slightly so that their lips could meet, Essek’s back arched slightly to accommodate the height difference. With what little thought process he had while Caleb pushed further into the kiss, he considered activating his hovering cantrip so that Caleb wouldn’t have to bend over him to kiss him, but a small, embarrassed part of Essek enjoyed the angle they were currently at. 

It was as Essek was coming to the realization that yes, actually, kissing could be very good if you found the right partner, that Caleb began to pull away from him. Essek let out a whimper that immediately brought a flush to his face as he recognized how absolutely embarrassing it was.

Caleb only let out a little laugh, adjusting his arms so that he was holding Essek around the small of his back, coming over and around Essek’s own arms, still clutched in the lapels of Caleb’s heavy coat.

“Sorry,” Caleb said, seeming not the slightest bit apologetic, “I didn’t really think, I was just so excited that your idea had worked.”

Essek raised an eyebrow and tried to quiet the anxiety pooling up in his stomach. “Do you respond to all arcane breakthroughs in this way?”

Caleb blinked once, twice, and then a look of dismay came over his face. “I don’t— I mean, this wasn’t— this isn’t—” Caleb cut himself off as he attempted to put together his response. Essek did his best to quiet the growing storm in his gut telling himself that Caleb was about to take it back, that this thing between them was something Caleb didn’t want to pursue, had never intended to pursue. That the trust Essek thought they had built wasn’t enough, would never be enough. None of these thoughts were new, but it felt horribly worse, somehow, to be having them while Caleb still held him clutched to his chest.

Essek tried, desperately, to remind himself that he would take whatever Caleb was willing to offer, whether that be friendship, or if this entire experience had reminded him of all the terrible things that Essek was capable of and that Caleb no longer wanted anything to do with him.

“Essek.”

Essek’s head jerked back up to meet Caleb’s gaze, and he had the mortifying realization that his entire spiral had occurred with Essek’s face pressed into the crook of Caleb’s shoulder.

“I am sorry,” Essek said immediately, “I have been presumptuous.”

“You—” Caleb said, eyes going wide, “Essek, I kissed you.”

“Yes, but you made it clear that it was a mistake,” Essek said, unable to bring himself to untangle his hands from the front of Caleb’s coat.

“I meant—” Caleb said, and then made a frustrated noise and broke into a rapid burst of Zemnian that Essek understood none of. 

“Essek,” Caleb said, “I am sorry that I have been unclear. The kiss was unintentional but not because it was not desired. I simply— I had been planning to talk to you, first, before I did anything. I didn’t want to assume that just because you had grown used to my affection that that meant you were interested in something else.”

“You… didn’t realize I was interested?” Essek asked, incredulously.

“I thought it was possible,” Caleb said, “but I didn’t want to presume. And besides, there are many… layers… to our relationship.”

“Like the matter of trust,” Essek said.

“Essek,” Caleb said, firmly. “I decided to trust you some time ago. I cannot say exactly when, but you have been in my confidence for some time. I imagine my decision to trust you may have been earlier than was probably wise, but I couldn’t help the way I felt.”

“You…” Essek said, but then trailed off, unsure what to say.

“I would not have come here, to Aeor, with just you at my side, had I not trusted you implicitly,” Caleb said.

“I, yes, well. I suppose that is a fair point,” Essek said. Caleb’s expression turned soft.

“I seem to have given you an incorrect idea of my thoughts on this matter, schatz,” Caleb said. 

“And what would those be?” Essek asked.

“I have been attracted to you for nearly as long as we have been acquainted,” Caleb said, and Essek felt a rush of warmth that was completely undeserved, considering that he had been aware of the human’s interest early on and had leaned on it in his earliest attempts at manipulation. “But I did not trust you, not at first. And then, once I began to trust you, I learned that perhaps that trust was misplaced.”

There was a pause, but thankfully not one long enough that Essek could be thrown back into his own head, as Caleb continued, “But then you helped us save the world, at great risk to yourself, and I have found myself leaning on you again and again. I trust you, schatz, but for some time I was worried that we would only bring out the worst in each other.”

“That is a fair worry,” Essek commented when Caleb did not immediately continue.

“Fair, but apparently unfounded,” Caleb responded quickly, “You decided not to use the T-Dock on your own, and then allowed me to destroy it despite your own offer to help me use it. If my worry had been true, you would have decided to use it yourself, or you would have stopped me from destroying the machine, and none of this would have been possible, for better or worse.”

“You make me a better person,” Essek said, a simple statement that somehow carried so much weight. Caleb’s answering smile was soft, and fond, and oh-so gentle, and he leaned down to rest his forehead against Essek’s.

“And you push me to do better, as well. We are good for each other, but I could never have known that back then,” Caleb said, and it was then that Essek noticed that one of Caleb’s thumbs was stoking along his back where it rested. Caleb did not specify when “back then” was, nor did Essek ask.

“But,” Caleb said, and Essek felt the weight come back, the terror, “Essek, you must know that this cannot last. In a few decades I will be an old man and you will still be you.”

Essek felt the weight begin to fester in his stomach. He found himself reaching up to push some of Caleb’s flyaway hair behind his ear, noting a few strands of gray as he did so. “I am aware of this, of course,” Essek said, thumb stroking along Caleb’s temple, where a few of the more noteworthy strands of gray could be seen. Caleb’s eyes fluttered shut at the sensation. “But you must realize that I will grieve for you, one way or another, and that I will —-” Essek’s breath sputtered out in terror as he realized what he was about to say, but could not bring himself not to tell Caleb the truth, not now, “I will love you regardless. You must know that I fell for you, not for your looks—though I certainly appreciate them now—but for you. For your brilliance, and your heart, and how much you care. And I would not care if you were decrepit and old so long as you are you . And if you were at all inclined, I would rather have whatever you are willing to give me, for as long as you are willing to give it, than to have nothing out of fear of what will eventually happen.”

“And you, Essek?” Caleb asked, voice much quieter than before, “what would you give?”

“Everything,” Essek said, without hesitation, “anything. You have made me a better man, but I am still a selfish man at heart, and I want the nights spent poring over discoveries and discussing arcane theories. And I want this, the casual affection you have given me, and so much more. I have never been interested in such things, but you—Caleb, you make me want to experience everything.”

“Ah,” Caleb said, seemingly unintentionally. His eyes were open again and staring at Essek. “And when I am old and gray and can barely get out of the bed?”

“You need not get out of bed to discuss theories,” Essek said, feeling somewhat like he was bargaining with Caleb.

“I will not be able to…I will be old, and unable to provide certain things, after a time,” Caleb said haltingly.

“I am not interested in any of that, only you. How many ways can I say ‘I want whatever you wish to give me’ before you understand that it is you, Caleb, it always has been and always will be. And if you want me to step away someday, I will, but I would be happy to spend the rest of your life at your side,” Essek said.

Caleb swallowed heavily. “I imagine this conversation is not over, but I cannot doubt your sincerity,” he told Essek.

Essek went on tip-toes in order to press a kiss first to Caleb’s forehead, then to his lips.

“And we can have it, as many times as you need. Just, please, don’t send me away for fear of how I will eventually handle the loss of you. You cannot stop me from mourning you when you are gone. It is too late to save me from that heartbreak,” Essek said.

Caleb’s mouth twisted into a crooked smile. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Essek said, “My life has vastly improved by knowing you. I would not trade it for anything.”

“Anything?” Caleb repeated, expression turning mischievous. 

“Anything,” Essek repeated, knowing that Caleb would certainly try to test that hypothesis. But first, Caleb seemed content to lean back down and plant another kiss to Essek’s lips.

Essek responded immediately this time, shifting his arms to loop around the back of Caleb’s neck, giving himself a better leverage to meet Caleb’s kiss and pulling him down further, nearly unbalancing them and toppling them over. Caleb let out a huff of laughter into Essek’s mouth, grinning through the kiss, and Essek felt giddy.

ARE YOU IN YOUR UNIVERSE NOW? ARE YOU DEAD? ARE YOU BOOOONING? TELL ME YOU’RE FUCKING BECAUSE THEN I DON’T CARE YOU BLEW ME OFF.

Mirror Jester’s voice broke through his thoughts with an intensity that had Essek stiffening, causing Caleb to immediately do the same and pull away ever so slightly.

“Is everything alright?” Caleb asked, and Essek waved one of his hands around, burying his face in Caleb’s shoulder once again.

“Apologies, Jester,” Essek said, and Caleb’s posture relaxed, accompanied by a small chuckle. “We have indeed made it back to our universe. We did not mean to ‘blow you off’ but we have been…” Essek paused in his message, only now realizing that his response to Jester likely sounded muffled by virtue of him having his face pressed against Caleb’s shoulder. “...distracted.”

“You didn’t use all your words,” Caleb said once Essek had waited long enough for the spell to dissipate. 

“Oops,” Essek said, leaning back up to kiss Caleb. Caleb’s answering laugh was muffled by Essek’s lips on his.

Chapter Text

[Caleb]

“So wait, you’re telling me that the other version of me fucking killed Zeenoth and took his place?” Beau asked, gesturing widely, causing the wine in her glass to slosh dangerously. 

“Killed everyone in the Zadash Cobalt Soul line of authority, actually, as well as several in the Rexxentrum Cobalt Coul” Caleb corrected, “though it was my understanding that she started with Zeenoth.”

“Holy shit,” Beau said.

“What about me, what about the other me?” Jester asked from her perch on Fjord’s lap, half-full glass of milk perched precariously between her legs. Fjord had been eying it carefully for the past few minutes, ever since Jester had first situated it there. 

“She was known as the ‘Sapphire of the South,” Caleb said, looking to Essek beside him to see if he wanted to join in with any comments of his own. Essek seemed content instead to rest his chin on Caleb’s shoulder, one arm looped through Caleb’s arm and the other carefully holding his own wine glass. It was Essek’s third, which was what Caleb attributed his sudden clinginess to; Caleb couldn’t find a reason to complain, himself, and the rest of the Nein had been so engaged in their retelling of their counterparts in the other universe to give them any shit, though the glint in both Jester and Veth’s eyes meant they wanted to say something quite badly. It wouldn’t have been noteworthy, had Caleb initiated the contact, but the rest of the Nein knew that Essek was sparing with his affection, even with Caleb.

The rest of the Nein were arranged around Veth’s admittedly somewhat cramped living room—what was comfortable for two adult halflings and a child did not easily fit their entire number, but thankfully, none of them were much opposed to sitting close. Fjord and Yasha took up the bulk of Veth’s couch, with Jester perched on Fjord’s lap and Beau sprawled on top of Yasha, one leg crossing over top of both Jester and Fjord. Caduceus was seated on the floor in front of Jester and Fjord, back resting against the arm of the couch. Yeza and Veth were seated in the middle of the floor, Veth leaning heavily on Yeza. Caleb and Essek had taken a chair that was almost certainly meant for one person, though they had managed to wedge themselves beside each other, though over the night Essek had slowly but surely ended up less on the chair and more on Caleb. Kingsley had been flitting from spot to spot all night, but was currently leaning himself up against Caleb’s legs, his own legs sprawled out across the floor. Caleb was currently overwhelmed with the warmth that came from a combination of the alcohol and finally being around his friends again.

Also, perhaps the feeling of Essek’s chin on his shoulder and one of his legs in his lap.

“And she seemed to have taken over for Marion and was entertaining guests at the Lavish Chateau. Except instead of singing, her thing was more…” Caleb continued, trailing off as he tried to find a way to describe it.

“Humiliation, both sexual and not,” Essek said, uncharacteristically.

“Ja, that,” Caleb agreed over top of the rest of the group’s various reactions, Beau snorting loudly and Veth spraying a bit of her wine as she was caught mid-gulp.

“That’s fantastic!” Jester said with a little clap of her hands.

“What?” Fjord asked, “no, no it’s not.”

“Come on, Fjord, that’s fun,” Jester said. 

Fjord blinked. “Is that what you’re into?”

Jester cackled loudly enough to drown out Beau’s own grumbled, “keep it to the bedroom.”

“What about me?” Fjord asked, desperately trying to leave this topic of conversation.

“No, I wanna hear more!” Jester said as she and Fjord grappled slightly. Beau’s leg was jostled off in the process, and she took the opportunity to get up and refill her glass, leaning over to kiss Yasha on the temple as she ducked into the kitchen.

Once the scuffle had died down, Caleb said, “the other Fjord didn’t particularly want to help us, so I don’t know as much about him.”

“Oh?” Veth asked.

“He tried to kill us,” Essek said.

“Ja, twice,” Caleb agreed.

“Oh,” Fjord echoed Veth. “Did you…?”

“No, no,” Caleb said quickly, “the first time we fought he ran away once he realized the fight wasn’t going his way, and the second time we were able to damage the ship enough that he couldn't pursue us.”

“What a coward, Fjord,” Veth commented.

“Hush, you,” Fjord said, then continued, “let me guess: he was more interested in serving Uk’otoa.”

“Got it in one,” Caleb said.

“Was Avantika with him?” Jester asked, her tone dripping with acid.

“Er, ja,” Caleb said, “he was serving as her First Mate.”

“Oh, wow, Fjord, you weren’t even a Captain,” Veth cajoled him.

“And they were definitely banging,” Jester said, “this other universe sounds less fun now.”

“It was pretty terrible, but the other versions of you were all quite helpful, though,” Caleb said, “Well, most of you.”

“Let me guess, you didn’t even try to befriend me,” Kingsley said, “or, I suppose he would have been…Lucien?”

“From what we could tell, Lucien was actively operating out of Shady Creek Run and had never worked for Derogna, and so never went to Aeor or found Cognouza,” Caleb said.

“And if you’d brought him with you, you might have created a whole new problem for them to deal with, by introducing Lucien to all of that,” Beau said, reentering the room with her re-filled drink and plopping down on Yasha’s lap.

“We didn’t feel the need to chance it,” Essek agreed.

“So, when you entered Aeor in that world, who was with you?” Yasha asked.

“Ah,” Caleb said, “Caduceus, Beau, Veth, Jester, Yasha, and the other version of Essek.”

“Wait, I thought you said that the other Essek was like, evil and shit?” Beau asked.

“No more evil than ours was when we met him,” Caleb said with a shrug, “no offense.”

“You should probably mean some offense, truthfully,” Essek responded.

“Yeah,” Veth and Beau said at the same time.

“Regardless, he came around in the end, even though we hadn’t set out to bring him along,” Caleb said.

“And how did that happen?” Fjord asked.

“Uh,” Caleb commented.

Essek took another sip of his wine. 

“It seems I am weak to his charms in every universe,” Essek said from over the top of his wine glass.

Caleb bit his lip as he felt his face flush, facing the guffaws of his friends.

“Oh my gods Caleb, did you seduce the other Essek?” Jester yelled.

Caleb sputtered, and said, “no, nein, I did not—”

“Knowing Essek, Caleb was probably just nice to him once,” Beau said. Caleb found himself biting his lip again. “Holy shit, that’s really what happened, huh?”

“I, well, basically, ja,” Caleb said.

“Y’all are gross,” Beau said with a grimace. 

“I think it’s sweet,” Yasha said with a gentle smile.

“Well, yeah, it is, but it’s also gross,” Beau said, immediately agreeing with her girlfriend. Yasha just gave her a knowing smile.

“I think it’s nice that they’re finally fucking,” Jester said.

“You don’t know that,” Fjord said.

“Fjord, Essek is in Caleb’s lap. They are totally fucking,” Jester said, giving Fjord a stern look.

“So is Kingsley!” Fjord said, gesturing towards where Kingsley was leaning his head onto Caleb’s knees.

“That’s different!” Jester said.

“Also, I would totally fuck him if he wanted,” Kingsley said with his own shrug, “but I have to agree with Jester here, he’s definitely got his own thing going on right now.”

“I am still here,” Caleb said, as if that would mean anything.

“I do not believe they care,” Essek told him, echoing his own thoughts. 

“I know,” Caleb said with a sigh. He couldn’t even bring himself to be disgruntled, as fond as he was of this group.

“Essek definitely wouldn’t get in anyone’s lap if they weren’t basically married, so they’re definitely boning, that’s all,” Jester continued to make her case as to the relationship status of Caleb and Essek.

“That’s not—” Fjord stammered, and Caleb noted that his face had taken on the ruddy brown look it acquired when he felt particularly embarrassed. 

Caduceus was giving Caleb and Essek a steady look; Caleb knew he wasn’t trying to determine whether the two of them were in a relationship, as Caduceus was much too perceptive not to have noticed. Essek had already told Caleb that he and Caduceus had once had a talk about Essek’s own lack of interest in that sort of relationship, at least in a general sense. Caleb had inferred, since then, that Essek had mentioned that Caleb seemed to be the exception to that rule to Caduceus, which would make interpreting the sudden shift in their interactions much easier.

No, Caleb imagined Caduceus was trying to suss out whether this conversation was making either of them uncomfortable. Caleb looked to Essek to see how he was taking the sudden interest in their relationship, only to find that Essek was already looking at him.

“Are you alright with this?” Caleb asked him, quietly. He knew Kingsley would undoubtedly hear them, but there wasn’t much he could do about that.

“I knew that we would get heckled eventually,” Essek told him, shifting slightly so that his chin no longer rested on Caleb’s shoulder and it was easier to talk, “I’ve already prepared myself mentally.”

“How so?” Caleb asked. 

Essek held up the mostly empty wine glass to where Caleb could see it.

“I’m sure I’ll be embarrassed later,” Essek commented, “but currently I find that it’s worth it.”

“You don’t need to get wine drunk to sit on my lap, you know,” Caleb told him. He distantly registered Kingsley’s snort, telling Caleb that he was indeed listening.

“Perhaps,” Essek said, grabbing Caleb’s still mostly-full glass and taking a sip, “but I’m still getting used to all of this.”

“Friends who heckle you?” Caleb commented, allowing Essek to take his glass from him. Caleb had barely drunk much himself, having no real preference for wine and that being the only alcohol the Brenattos kept in the house. He’d have to keep track of Essek to make sure he wasn’t overdoing it, but so far nothing Essek had done was much worse than anything Beau and Yasha did regularly. He would likely be extremely embarrassed by his behavior later, but Caleb doubted he would come to regret it. Some small part of Caleb thought that Essek liked the idea that he could be affectionate around the Nein, that it spoke of the care he had for them, and how much he trusted them.

“Well, yes,” Essek responded to Caleb’s question, “but also this.” And then he wrapped his arms around Caleb’s neck and pressed a kiss to Caleb’s mouth. Caleb couldn’t help the noise of surprise he let out, though he had enough wits about him to return the kiss.

Even though Essek had had some to drink, he still had enough presence of mind to keep the kiss short and sweet, pulling away quickly but maintaining eye contact. Caleb couldn’t bring himself to look away, even as he heard Veth and Jester hooting and a wolf-whistle from Beau.

“I can’t believe it took you two emotionally constipated wizards getting thrown into another reality to finally get your shit together,” Beau said with a groan. Caleb reached out a hand and flipped her the middle finger.

“I think it’s very romantic,” Yasha said with her characteristic soft smile. She had her arms wrapped around Beau’s middle and was resting her own chin on the human’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Yasha,” Essek said, breaking eye contact with Caleb to look at her. 

Caleb took that as a sign he could also look away, though he wanted to keep looking at Essek, wanted to drink in his warmth at his side and the way he was sitting so close that he could feel it when Essek’s ear twitched in response to a joke, or the fact that the wine had left a constant, dark flush across his face, something he could only see because of how close the drow was sitting.

Looking at the rest of the group, he immediately registered Jester’s shit-eating grin.

“See, I told you that they were fucking,” Jester told Fjord.

“I want out of this conversation,” Fjord said to the ceiling, “do you want more milk, darling?”

“I think I would rather you stay right here,” Jester said, fidgeting in his lap in such a way that had Fjord’s eyes wide open, making direct eye contact with Caleb and pleading for an out. The flush seemed omnipresent on his face now.

As Caleb considered how he might be able to help his half-orc friend, his thoughts were interrupted by Jester’s voice, an odd phenomenon, considering he was currently looking right at her and she was currently deeply engrossed in efforts to embarrass her boyfriend.

HEEEYY CALEB! WE JUST RESCUED CADUCEUS’S FAMILY! THEY’RE VERY NICE AND IT’S SAD HOW LONG THEY WERE TRAPPED HERE. CADUCEUS WANTED TO THANK YOU AGAIN!

Caleb smiled softly, realizing now that this was another of the other Jester’s intermittent Sendings, keeping him up-to-date with their status and telling him how much they missed them. 

“ Good to hear from you, Jester ,” Caleb responded, a statement that had the entire room turning their attention back on him. Jester looked around quickly, as if trying to figure out if she’d said anything to Caleb just then. “ I’m glad Caduceus found my map helpful, and that you rescued his family. Hope you’re well, we miss you .”

As Caleb felt the spell fizzle with the end of his response, he heard Jester yell, “Caleb!”

“Ja?” Caleb asked.

“Was that the other me? Did you just talk to the other me?” Jester asked.

“Ja,” Caleb said, “she’s been keeping us up to date with their goings on in the weeks since we got back to our universe.”

“You can do that?” Beau asked.

Caleb shrugged. “Sending can reach across planes, and it seems magic treats these separate universes as different planes. Though I think we’ve noticed a slightly higher chance of failure when speaking to the other universe than when trying to speak to someone in another plane.”

“That’s so fucking cool,” Jester said, “Wait, can you send a message to other Jester from me?”

“Ja, I should be able to, assuming it doesn’t fail this time,” Caleb said.

“I thought you couldn’t use Sending?” Fjord asked.

“I couldn’t, but then Essek let me copy it out of his spellbook. Being able to contact each other is important when it’s just the two of us in Aeor,” Caleb responded, “I usually keep it prepared now, just in case.”

“Cool, cool, Caleb, please, send a message to other Jester,” Jester said, frantically.

“Okay, what do you want me to say?” Caleb asked, placidly. 

That seemed to stump Jester. “Um, okay. Tell her I think she’s really fucking cool but that also you’re my Caleb and to remember that,” she said after a moment’s thought.

“Could you tell her to tell the other Beau that she’s my hero?” Beau asked.

“If I have enough room in the message, yes,” Caleb responded.

“Okay okay,” Jester said, nodding, “Fjord, count the words.”

“Of course,” Fjord said.

Caleb smiled and mimicked the motion he’d seen Essek do, the times that he’d seen Essek cast the spell—though he knew he could put his own spin on it, there was something pleasant about using the somatic elements from Essek’s form of the casting.

“ My Jester needs you to know that you are ‘really fucking cool’, and my Beau wants to tell your Beau that she’s her hero ,” Caleb said, watching as Fjord wiggled one more finger in the air, indicating that he had one more word in the message. “ Ja. ”

There was a moment as they all sat there, and Caleb wondered if this would be one of the messages that didn’t make it to the other universe.

The worry seemed to be unfounded, however, when Jester’s voice entered his mind again.

AWWW CALEB, HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING ABOUT US? YOU DO LIKE US! TELL HER SHE’S FUCKING AMAZING. ALSO, MESSAGE OUR ESSEK SOMETIME, HE’S LOVESICK NOW.

Caleb couldn’t help but bring a hand over his mouth to cover the chuckle in response.

“What did she say?” Jester asked.

“Yeah, dude, we know you have perfect memory so you can repeat the full message for us,” Beau said.

With a look at Essek, Caleb said, “The other Jester said, ‘Awww Caleb, have you been talking about us? You do like us. Tell her she’s fucking amazing,’” Caleb trailed off a bit, and Essek raised an eyebrow at him. He sighed, and finished the message, “‘also, message our Essek sometime, he’s lovesick now.”

“Fuck, man, you’re a heartbreaker, aren’t you?” Beau asked.

Caleb didn’t have time to respond before Essek said, “yes, he is.”

Caleb cut a little glance at Essek.

“The other Essek told me, while we were traveling through Eisselcross, that he had considered trying to take my place and come back here with you, but that he didn’t follow through with the idea because he knew it was unlikely to work,” Essek commented, taking a sip out of the wine glass he had pilfered from Caleb.

“Wait,” Veth said, “He seriously told you that?”

“He did,” Essek said, “and then he told me to get off my ass and make a move already.”

“You hadn’t mentioned this,” Caleb commented.

“He told me in confidence, so it felt weird to tell you,” Essek said, “but ultimately, it’s nothing I haven’t heard from half of the Nein.”

“He’s right,” Veth agreed, “Pretty sure he’s received the shovel talk from everyone here but Yeza and Kingsley.”

“No, Kingsley gave me one too,” Essek said, ears flicking in embarrassment.

“To be clear, it was half shovel talk, half proposition,” Kingsley said, “I wanted to cover all my options.”

“I’ve been meaning to, actually,” Yeza said, prompting all eyes to turn towards him. The way he froze up at the attention, it was clear why he’d been letting everyone else do the talking.

“ You wanted to give him a shovel talk?” Beau asked.

“Caleb is the godfather to my son, and now he’s dating the man who kidnapped and imprisoned me,” Yeza said, “it seems only fair.”

“I love you,” Veth said, leaning over and smothering him with kisses.

At that point, Essek’s voice popped into Caleb’s head, prompting him to look questioningly to his side to make sure it wasn’t his Essek, whispering in his ear.

The other Essek’s voice was quiet, like he was whispering.

Please pay no mind to Jester. I am fine. You do not need to keep in contact, you’ve already done more than enough for me.

Caleb blinked several times as he thought about the best way to respond to such a message.

“ I’m well aware of how Jester is ,” Caleb said, quietly, though it nevertheless drew Essek’s attention to what he was saying, “ I’m glad to hear that you are still with them .”

A glance at Essek made it clear that Essek knew who had sent the message. Caleb inclined his head to Essek, who responded simply by leaning over and sticking his face into the crook of Caleb’s neck.

“ Essek took your advice. Danke for your care ,” Caleb finished. His Essek breathed out deeply, right into the spot where his neck met his shoulder.

The following silence indicated that the other Essek did not intend to continue this conversation, or otherwise was unable to.

“I don’t suppose this is a sign that you’ve had too much wine,” Caleb asked.

“Hardly,” Essek told him, the word muffled by the fabric of his shoulder, “only a sign that I have had enough to feel comfortable doing this in front of the rest of the Nein.”

“Sounds like the same thing to me,” Caleb said.

“It’s good,” Essek said, “all of it. I am just a little too in my head about it, sometimes.”

“You enjoy the teasing?” Caleb asked.

“It’s nice to be included,” Essek said, and the flustered twitch of his ears was enough to give him away.

“Don’t worry, I think Jester is just getting started. I imagine she’s just about to suggest party games,” Caleb said.

“Like?” Essek asked.

“Oh, there’s several. They’re usually a bit silly, but it’s just fun to be doing something as a group,” Caleb said.

“I look forward to it,” he told Caleb.

“I’ll remind you of that statement later when Jester is pressing you on what your favorite sex positions are,” Caleb said.

There was a brief silence from Essek before he said, “I suppose I should not expect anything less from her.”

“No, you shouldn’t. It’s why we love her,” Caleb said.

“True,” Essek agreed, “I look forward to eating my words later.”

Caleb brushed a kiss across the top of Essek’s head, the curl of his hair mussed from having been pressed against the side of Caleb’s head.

“It’s nice to be back,” Caleb murmured.

Essek hummed in agreement, and Caleb turned his attention back to their friends, who had transitioned into a vigorous four-way argument about a recently published book that had been making the rounds through the Nein. Caleb settled in to listen to the discussion and predict who he would end up agreeing with once he eventually read the book.