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Chapter Text

They were dancing.

Like moths to a flame, their eyes connected from across the ends of the room and they remained fixated on each other. Anne felt the familiar warmth that she inherently associated with her curly haired friend spread from her toes to her face, and she knew she was blushing crimson. She wanted to look away, she really did, but her eyes refused to budge. She could hear the heavy pounding of her heart as she and Gilbert continued to gaze longingly at each other, each wishing for something neither could name yet. She forgot about Charlie, her dance partner, or Diana to her left and somehow, her feet started moving to the direction of Gilbert.

Later, when she was thinking about the dance for the umpteenth time in her bed, Anne could no longer ignore what she felt for Gilbert. She did not know if it was just a fleeting crush or something more concrete and scary, but she was willing to find out. Matthew had once told Anne that she was the bravest person he had ever met. Diana and Ruby had voiced analogous sentiments in one of her bouts of courage as she did something daring neither girl would attempt to do. She had ran into a burning building once, dyed her hair green, stood up to Mrs. Lynde that time she had abased Anne’s looks, and had worn trousers to Carmody. Anne knew she was not lacking in gallantry. Mind made, she knew what she had to do.

She would summon all her mettle and ask Gilbert to the Fair. And maybe then she would finally understand her confusing feelings towards him and what it could all mean. Judging by the way he had also looked at her during the dance, the way he was always watching her when he thought she was not looking, Anne was optimistic that he felt the same way, may be even more. Because looking back, Gilbert had always looked at her differently from the very beginning. And perhaps, she could admit to herself that it was the reason she always ran from him, because he always looked at her as if she was the sun and he would gladly burn at its light’s embers. Sometimes, Anne wondered if he could peek into her soul. But they were friends now, perhaps the very best friends –in a different manner from Diana, of course – and she was ready to delve into this unknown, daunting territory.

Three days later, Anne and Gilbert were acting like the dance never happened and were back to their usual banter that seemed to bring endless joy to Mary and Bash. However, the dance and the subsequent feelings were not too far from either of their minds. Today, Gilbert, Bash, Mary, and Anne had just sat down to have lunch, when, in his typical fashion, Bash decided to tease Gilbert. Bash and Mary had spent the entire morning watching the two almost-adults steal glances at each other and engaging in heated debates about topics that he honestly found boring. Why would anyone be interested in…anti-toxins? But Anne had been hanging on to Gilbert's every word as he went into his usual medical spiral, thriving in the attention she was giving him. Somehow, the conversation had shifted to first kisses, with Anne innocently asking Gilbert if it was true what one of the old books said, that kissing could be a way to spread harmful germs to the other party.

“Is that true, Dr. Blythe?” asked Bash impishly. “ Of course not!....um…no, it’s not true,” Gilbert was refraining from looking at Anne, because somehow the conversation was making his mind spin miles a minute, picturing himself sharing his first kiss with the redhead sometime in the future.

“That’s a relief, to be honest. All the romance novels I’ve read describe kissing as the most heavenly feeling and I am oh so glad that it can never be a tool to spread germs! Even if I may never be kissed in my quest as a bride of adventure it is still so wonderful to imagine a kiss, even in my dreams!” Anne rambled, not noticing the bewildered looks Gilbert was giving her, or the knowing looks from Mary and Bash.

“You don’t think you will be kissed, Anne?” Asked Mary softly, subtly looking at Gilbert, who had his head bowed, cheeks flushed red. Anne blushed and shoved a mouthful of potatoes in her mouth to avoid answering, an awkward silence filling the room.

“What about you, Blythe?” Bash taunted.

“ If I kiss someone, its sure going to be the person I love,” proclaimed Gilbert, turning to face Bash, who had a Cheshire grin plastered on his face, subtly trying to look at Anne. Slowly, Anne raised her head from her food to stare at Gilbert, only to find him staring back at her. Just like the dance practice, they forgot everyone else in the room and just stared yearningly at each other, making Mary and Bash feel like they were witnessing something they shouldn’t be.

Bash had stopped smirking at the two teenagers and as he looked ponderingly as Gilbert and Anne started into each other’s eyes, he wondered if this was the day their dance stopped. But thank his sweet Delly with her loud wail, Anne and Gilbert quickly averted their eyes and went back silently to their meals, leaving Bash and Mary amused and exasperated. Mary never thought she would have the life she had now; a loving husband and daughter, Gilbert, who had become a little brother she never knew she needed, and Anne, the fiery tempered red-head that had Gilbert completely smitten. Watching the kids dance around each other and their feelings was more entertainment than she had had in a while.

Anne knew that she was nothing if not impetuous and determined. But why was admitting her feelings to the boy she had now just realized she was in love with so…scary? Gilbert’s assertion that he would kiss someone he loves, and the way he had looked at her as if admitting a deep secret had affirmed her decision. She remembered Marilla’s words not to “make the same mistakes I did, Anne. I loved John Blythe, but I let him go.” When she had first told Marilia that she may have feelings for her curly haired, annoying (not so annoying anymore) neighbor, she could not in her wildest dreams imagined that her adoptive mother would be the one to encourage her to act on her feelings.

So, here she was, hair all wet from the drizzling rain, holding red roses and lilies, about to knock on the Blythe-Lacroix house and gift the flowers to the object of her affection. Anne had decided, on the way here, that she would ask him to the county Fair this Saturday. Not too bold to be alarming but enough to make her intentions clear, right? She raised her hand to knock, became overcome with nerves, and turned around. She had repeated the process four times already, the eerily quiet surroundings shrouding her with more nerves than she had ever felt in her life.

As she stood there on the porch, contemplating her actions, she wondered what the members of the household were up to this evening. Was Mary calling the boys, as she liked to refer to Bash and Gilbert, to supper? Was Gilbert studiously looking over his doctor books, absorbing the information and thinking about his future as Dr. Blythe? Did he ever think about her? And with this thought, the possibility that maybe her feelings were unrequited, caused bile to rise up her throat, and she decided that she was indeed, not brave enough for such an endeavor. But just as she was thinking about turning around, the door opened, and Mary, with a befuddled smile at seeing her on the porch, just started at her, seemingly at a loss for words. Anne, looking sheepishly at Mary, forced an uneasy smile to her face.

“Mary! Uh...hi? Is Gilbert in? I was just coming over to give him these flowers. Aren’t they beautiful? I know it sounds mystifying, especially in this weather, but it was not raining when I left Green Gables, and I must have dilly-dallied much longer than I thought, admiring the Fall blooms of autumn and I knew I must pick some, and then I saw this beautiful purple butterfly and I had to name it, of course, because something that beautiful deserves a good name. I called her Geraldine, and I swear she looked at me thankfully before she flapped her wings and flew off to lands unknown. And by the time I resumed by walk her, the rain was already falling incessantly, but I was determined I would not go back to Green Gables yet. May I come in?” Anne prattled all in one breath, not noticing the widening smile on Mary’s face, used to the redhead’s endless bouts of energy.

Though Mary was still weak from the infection she had gotten a few months back, she was happy to stand on the porch and indulge the redhead. To think that she almost died and left life Delphine motherless…. This was why Mary was all too pleased that she had been blessed more time to watch the dance between Gilbert and Anne, neither admitting to their feelings for each other. Although, based on Anne’s explanation for why she was visiting and the flowers in her hand, it seemed that the redhead had finally admitted she had feelings for the young doctor after all. Oh, how Bash was going to love this.

“Do come in before you catch your death in the cold Miss Anne,” said Mary maternally as the redhead followed her inside the house, all awkward and nervous.

Mary supposed that was understandable, remembering how everything felt like life and death when she was a teenager herself, struggling to raise a child without support. And with this short trip down memory lane, Mary remembered the Charlottetown debutante that Gilbert swore was just a friend, but was bringing to the Fair anyway. God, that boy could be so dumb and clueless. Thinking about the mystery girl made Mary almost felt bad for poor brave Anne. For the redhead’s sake, Mary hoped that the teenagers wouldn’t be left too heartbroken after what she felt was an inevitable explosion. However, knowing the redhead’s insecurity and background, Mary knew that this night would bring nothing short of an explosion, leaving two hearts shattered. Damn Gilbert! Why didn’t he listen to her and Bash?

………………………..
Bash had just lost the recent game of cards to Gilbert for the millionth time –something Gilbert knew he would pay for by increased teasing form his brother –when Mary came back in the house, Anne in tow. Gilbert only noticed this major fact when Bash’s eyes suddenly widened, attention pulled from the game in an instant, the beginning of a smirk appearing on his face as he saw the flowers the redhead was carrying. Coupled with the nervous tickle of said redhead’s jaw, as she glanced at Gilbert (who had yet to notice the additional guest), Bash knew his night had just become much more exciting.

When Gilbert, who was still trying to figure out his next move, saw that Bash was distracted by something on the door, he opened his mouth to reprimand him when he saw a hint of red in his peripheral. The bright red that always reminded him of the sun, and made warmth spread his while being. He couldn’t get her out of his mind, even now, and was about to reprimand himself when he turned around and like a vision from his dreams, Anne was there, hair wet and looking at him as if she was pondering her actions.

Anne was in his house! Anne, the object of his desires. Anne, who always acted skittish around him, ready to run at any second. But Gilbert always cherished the times she stayed, when she allowed herself to give him the time of the day. Because she understood him like no one else ever had. Even when they were competing in class, her face determined and looking at him as if he were the enemy, he cherished those moments when her whole being was focused on him. Anne, who brought him out of the abyss after they thought they would forever lose Mary, soothing him with her sure words and unyielding hugs.

Anne, who made him rethink his decision not to be a doctor, when he thought doctors were forever doomed to deliver death sentences. Anne, who found him when he was worlds away on a cold and stifling Steamer, missing home so badly. Just when he was second guessing his decision to leave Avonlea after the Primrose became insufferable despite the minor comfort offered by Bash’s unrelenting friendship, Anne found him in form of a short and sweet letter about Gold, of all things. And though the letter was practical and lacked sentiment, that she had found him was proof of how amazing she really was.

Anne, who had become his closest friend after Mary’s near death experience. Anne, who made him feel whole during that notable dance practice, when everything else faded away and it was just the two of them, gazing longingly into each other’s eyes, solidifying his feelings for her. Anne, who made him forget about Winifred, and the reasons he had asked the blonde and proper debutante to tea in the first place. Winifred, whom he had not thought of in forever. It has always been Anne.

Anne, who was now standing in front of his house, looking like a figment of his imagination as she shook the water out of her hair, which had been let loose. She looked so beautiful Gilbert wanted to run his fingers through the red tresses.

Gilbert did not notice Mary and Bash smirking at each other as the two teenagers were locked in an unwavering stare, lost in each other’s eyes. He did not notice that Bash was almost jumping up for joy at the sight before him, as Mary tried desperately to stop him from guffawing out loud. It was only when Delphine suddenly wailed from her basket that the moment was destroyed, Anne’s eyes widening as Gilbert awkwardly stood from his seat, trying and desperately failing to say something, anything to Anne. As usual, Anne saved him from opening his mouth and sputtering nonsense like ask her to marry him on the spot.

“Gilbert! Hi,” Anne greeted nervously, trying not to stare at his messed up curls and his raised eyebrows that made him look so dreamy and handsome he looked like one of her book heroes reincarnated. Anne did not notice she had been staring, much to the amusement of Bash and Mary, and the confusion of Gilbert.

“Anne? You wanted to tell me something?” Asked Gilbert, his voice slightly shaking. He could not dare hope that the flowers Anne held in her hands were meant for him, or that her stammering answers and the blush that was quickly spreading on her face was what he wanted it to mean. Because he had been here before, listening intently as Anne talked about the Take Notice board, a surge of emotion welling in his heart, before she crashed and burned his hopes of requited feelings by mentioning Ruby, of all people.

“Oh, um, yes.” Silence. A beat, then, “these are for you.” Anne said timidly, holding out the red roses and lilies that he would have to look up their meanings later when he was not inundated with intense emotions of rightness and love that he felt at that moment. Anne had picked him flowers!

Before he could open his mouth to thank her, or declare his undying love and maybe ask her to marry him on the spot, Anne continued, licking her luscious lips sheepishly,
“ Iwaswonderingifyouwillgotothefairwithme!” She prattled out in a single breath.

“What?” asked Gilbert, standing up, trying and failing to digest her words.
Swallowing heavily, Anne decided it was now or never.

“ Gilbert. I was wondering if we could go to the Fair this Saturday together, maybe? That is, unless you have plans, I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Her voice had increasingly become smaller as she spoke, almost fearing rejection. As if!

When she finished speaking, and Gilbert realized with swelling emotion that yes, Anne was asking him out, he felt like he could fly. He had heard the boys from his class discussing the Fair, about how the event was an opportunity for couples to go together. All through this week, his classmates had been buzzing with elation, the girls waiting to be asked to the Fair and the boys nervously approaching the objects of their affections to ask them to the event. Even the stupid Take Notice board had been more lively than usual. Gilbert had not wanted to analyze the event too keenly, although every part of him wanted to ask Anne. Never in his wildest dreams would he imagine that Anne would be the one to ask him.

He was about to open his mouth and shout, “ Yes1 of course I’ll go with you,” when, like a bullet to the brain, his mind unhelpfully remembered Winifred.

Winifred, the girl he had asked to tea impulsively after Anne had snapped that she did not need him that day on the train. Gilbert had been so sure that Anne could never feel the same way that when the beautiful and proper Winifred had blatantly showed him the attention he so craved from Anne, he had foolishly thought it was a sign it was time to move on. Of course, Gilbert had no way of knowing that in the weeks to follow, he and Anne would only grow closer than they have ever been before, united by their fear of losing Mary and their realization that they were better off as friends.

Gilbert had seen no harm in continuing his acquaintance with Winnie, even after Bash and Mary looked at him like he had grown two heads when they discovered his correspondence with the blonde girl. Although Gilbert was sure he would never feel anything more than fleeting affection, a part of him wondered if he could grow to love Winifred, should Anne show him that she truly had no feelings for him. He had finally admitted to himself that he was halfway in love with the redhead, and had been waiting for a sign that she felt the same.

And suddenly, finally, he knew. Because here was Anne, asking him to the Fair, which could only mean one thing. She had feelings for him, too. But Winnie and her parents were coming to the Avonlea Fair in three days, and he actually wanted to learn more about the Sorbonne, since Winnie had put in word with her father that he wanted to be a doctor. But he and Winnie were juts friends, right? Although her letters had been indicating that she considered them more than friends? Gilbert had not thought to correct her assumptions. What an idiot he had been! As his thoughts were running a mile a minute, he failed to notice that Anne was now bouncing on her feet fretfully or that Mary and Bash had left the room. When did they leave?

He summoned all his courage.

“ Anne, I would be honored to go with you, of course, but…” He could do this. He would explain to Anne everything, and ask her to the dance after the Fair that evening, long after Winnie and her parents had left. With mounting hope, Gilbert continued, unaware that Anne had deflated, her shoulders slumping as if preparing herself for inevitable heartbreak. Gilbert wanted to reassure her so he continued, more confidently.

“There is this girl,” at this, Anne’s body became stiff and looked ready to run, so Gilbert quickly went on, “she works with Dr. Ward, and I had promised her and her parents to show them around the Fair. But we could meet afterwards?” Gilbert’s tone was cautiously hopeful. Anne, however, had reached to the most horrid conclusion. After all, said girl must be pretty special if he asked her, right?

“You asked another girl to the Fair?” Anne asked, her voice cracking at the end.

“No! I mean, yes. But she’s just a friend…” Gilbert wavered, noticing the distressed look on Anne’s face.

“Are you courting her?” Anne continued, each question feeling like glass shards piercing his heart.

“No, we have gone to tea a couple of times….” Gilbert knew he was screwing up, and wished to all that was good and holy that he could take back that last statement. Although Bash like to tease him and call him an idiot, even Gilbert knew what taking a girl out to tea meant. It was the beginning of a courtship story for many couples. Oh, what a Mook he had been indeed!

“ Anne. Please believe me that there is nothing between me and Winifred. I should have asked you to the Fair weeks back, but I was a coward.”

“ But you had the courage to ask someone else?” her voice was now wobbly, and Gilbert knew that she was about to cry. He had never looked her looking so…dejected, and the worst of it was that he was the cause. How he hated himself at that moment.

Like he was approaching a wounded animal, Gilbert took two steps towards her, closer than propriety allowed, so close that he could faintly smell her sweet soap in her hair. She now had tears in her eyes and Gilbert reached out to wipe them with his thump. He was surprised when Anne did not slap him or run away in that moment, and Gilbert knew he had to make this right.

“Anne, I know I have been a total fool, but Winifred is just a friend to me. I do not even remember why I asked her to the Fair, but it was something I mentioned in passing and before I knew it, I was offering to show her around. I know I should have asked you. I wanted to ask you many times, but I was already too late, and I did not think you would agree anyway. It’s too late now to refute my invitation, but can we please meet afterwards? Maybe dance together?”

Anne was desperately trying to listen to him, but she could not hear with the loud thumping of her heart, whether at his closeness or because of anguish, she couldn’t tell. The only thing she wanted was to get out of there, fast. She knew that Gilbert was placating her, he was too good to let her down gently. She was too overwhelmed to answer him verbally, so when he suggested they meet after the Fair, she could only manage a tiny nod. This seemed to appease Gilbert, a smile gradually spreading on his face. But she could not stay there, she had to get away before she did something idiotic like kiss him senselessly.

“Marilla must be worried sick…I, huh, have to go back now.” Anne muttered, turning towards the door, eager to escarole the embarrassment.

“ May I walk you back?” Gilbert asked optimistically.

“No!” “I mean…it's okay. Its stopped raining, and I feel like walking alone. I will see you. Bye!” and with those words that felt so final, Anne left, leaving Gilbert standing by the door, holding the flowers she brought him, watching her retreating back as she sped back to Green Gables as if she could not leave the Blythe-Lacroix house fast enough.

Gilbert watched the door where Anne had disappeared in what could be minutes, hours, or ages ago, his heart heavy. He felt like he had lost her before he even had her, all because of his foolhardiness. He didn’t even realize he had been crying until he felt a hand on his shoulder, and turned to find Bash and Mary looking at him with what was definitely pity in their eyes.

“ I messed up. I messed up so bad,” Gilbert cried on Bash’s shoulder, feeling like the fifteen year old boy he had been the first time he went to school after the trip to Alberta with his father, when he had met the cute redhead in the woods and managed to get a slate in the head for his ill timed efforts to know her. Even back then, Gilbert had always been drawn to Anne. They were like binary stars, always orbiting each other but never really colliding. His father, whose health had been astoundingly better that day, had held him as he cried, soothingly telling him that everything would be alright. It was like his father had known what Anne would come to him one day, as he urged him to apologize and be patient with her, even as she did everything she could to push away from him. To her, Gilbert was the villain, and she was determined to hate him. Until they met accidentally in Charlottetown and declared a truce, Gilbert had almost lost hope that Anne would ever consider him her friend. It had taken a long time, but finally he and Anne had become close and just last week, Anne had proudly declared him her kindred spirit, when he was sharing with her the despair he had felt when Mary was too sick to come out of bed.

And now he had messed it all up with his misguided efforts to move on from her with Winifred. Admittedly, Gilbert had not thought about Winifred in a long time, because how could he, when he and Anne were in such good terms.

Gilbert remembers not long ago, when a letter from Winifred had arrived from Charlottetown. He and Anne had been tasked with watching Delly for the afternoon while Bash was taking advantage of the warm weather to take Mary for a walk, since it was the first time she was allowed outside following her near brush with death. He and Anne were discussing their plans for the future, the looming Queens Entrance exams making them study together, only taking small breaks to entertain Delly or to partake in their famous spelling-bee contests.

When Gilbert had seen that the letter was from Winifred, he had panicked. He remembered Anne asking him about the letter, a mischievous glint in her eye, curious about its contents. Gilbert did not know why he lied to her, telling her that the letter was from Dr. Ward with instructions on how to take care of Mary as she recuperated. Anne, aware that medical instructions were not as exciting as she had hoped, had dropped the topic and they had moved on to studying the history of Canada. Gilbert remembered feeling guilty for lying to her, not sure why he couldn’t tell her the truth. Until now. After that letter, which was all too suggestive on Winnie’s part, Gilbert had decided that he needed to make his intentions clear to Winnie. It was clear that Winnie saw him as more than a friend, while Gilbert was sure he would never see her as more than. By then, Gilbert had forgotten that he had invited her to the Fair.

“You can still fix this, Gilbert. While it is too late to write Winnie and her parents that you will not be available for the Fair, I think you will need to talk with her and make sure she understand that you have no intentions beyond friendship. I have no doubts you will break her heart, because it is clear she wants more, especially if her parents are involved.” Mary chimed in long after Gilbert had stopped crying, always the voice of wisdom in the household.

“But I never explicitly stated that I wanted to court her. I thought we were just friends!” Gilbert argued. However, the look Bash and Mary gave him made him feel like the biggest idiot in all PEI.

“What did you expect Blythe? Taking a girl to tea? Meeting her parents?” Okay, Gilbert could concede their point. Had he been leading Winnie on, all this time? God, he wanted to go back in time and do everything differently.

And now he had hurt Anne, the most important person in the world to him. As he went to bed that night, Gilbert knew that he would do everything in his power to make Anne know how much she meant to him. Now that he knew that she reciprocated his feelings (she brought him flowers!), Gilbert knew there would never be anyone else for him. Tomorrow, he decided, he would go to Green Gables, explain everything to Anne, and all would be well. He would tell her why he had asked Winnie to the fair, how he only saw her as a friend, and how much he had messed up. Anne would understand. She had to.

Chapter Text

Once the tears stopped, she lackadaisically made her way back to Green Gables, her heart heavy. She had been so stupid. What gave her the right to think that someone like Gilbert, Avonlea’s Golden boy, would want to be with an opinionated, redheaded and ugly orphan who has nothing to offer him?

Once, when she was younger, she had entertained the thought that one day, a boy would fall in love with her. Despite her ‘bride of adventure’ tales to Diana and Ruby in their long forgotten story hut, some part of Anne still believed that she would find love someday and she would be happy. These were the thoughts she never voiced out loud for fear of ridicule. She now knew why she had never spoken of her dreams and desires to anyone, even her bosom friend Diana. Gilbert was taking another girl to the fair. A Charlottetown girl, probably beautiful and wealthy. They would be very happy together, grow old, and have a bunch of kids. And Anne would forever be the oldest spinster in town.

As she lay in her bed that night, not fully grappling her newfangled reality, Anne knew that sleep would be a long time coming. She remembered the look on Marilla and Mathew’s face when she had come back home, all wet and face bloated from tears, bypassing her adoptive parents and running up the stairs.

Marilla had reluctantly allowed her to miss dinner, sensing that something had gone wrong and that Gilbert would not in fact, be coming to Green Gables tomorrow asking for permission to court their redheaded charge. Marilla had seen the look in Anne’s face before, in the mirror, after she rejected love in favor of duty the night John had left Avonlea. However, she still had hopes that whatever happened between Gilbert and Anne, they would find a way to conquer it. After all, she saw how the Blythe boy looked at her daughter when he thought no one else was looking, and was convinced that he was already halfway in love with Anne. When had her daughter grown so old? Anne’s laconic answers intensified the notion that something had gone horribly wrong.
…………………………….
The next day, Gilbert was the first one to wake up, having slept intermittently, his mind consumed with thoughts of Anne and her broken expression when he told her that he could not go to the Fair with her. He imagined a different scenario, a world where Winifred did not exist, where he would have happily gone to the event with Anne, hold her hand through the sightings and never let go. But he had ruined all that, by implying to Anne that Winifred was more important than her.

Gilbert went about making breakfast for Mary and Bash. Although Mary was all recovered now, she was still weak, and could use all the help she could get. Gilbert knew his breakfast skills left much to be desired but he was determined to at least make coffee for Bash and Mary. When that was done, he quietly checked on the couple, silently opening the door to find both of them sleeping, Delly snoring softly on her basket. Gilbert knew he still had time to kill before the residents of Green Gables women up. Restless as he was, he decided to go for a walk to pass time until he could go to Green Gables and make things right with Anne, once and for all.

His expedition into Avonlea found him at a spot that looked too artful and magical to be ignored. There were broken pieces of art lying everywhere, and pieces of wood of what seemed to be an abandoned hut were obvious to any onlooker. Gilbert recollected Anne tearfully telling him how the vindictive Billy Andrews had destroyed the story club, and in that moment, he had not found it in himself to be jealous he was excluded from such an important aspect of her life. The tears on her face had made him hug her tightly, and she had let him. Gilbert sat on a log as he imagined a much younger Anne, full of excitement as she told her tales to her attentive listeners, Diana and Ruby. As he allowed his eyes to navigate the place, he found a shell that must have belonged to Anne, as he could not imagine Cole, Diana, or Ruby keeping such tiny mementos. Only Anne. He pocketed the white seashell that would always remind him of Anne, and made his way towards Green Gables.
……………….
Gilbert was almost to the gate when he was met with an astonishing sight: Diana and Jerry, hiding behind one of the smaller barns at Green Gables, kissing passionately. As he watched them, mouth wide open in shock, Gilbert suddenly felt as if he was intruding on a precious moment. As much as he was the oldest in the classroom, Gilbert was discomfited to admit to himself that he had never kissed anyone before. He remembered when he was working on the steamers, when an older girl had approached him with intent clearly written on her face, but he had been too much of a coward to kiss her. He did not regret not kissing anyone, as the only person he had ever imagined kissing was Anne.

He wondered if Anne knew of the relationship between Diana and Jerry. As soon as this thought manifested in his muddled brain, he became instantly jealous of the couple, because he longed to kiss Anne the same way Jerry was kissing Diana. Then, he remembered how heartbroken Anne had been leaving his house the previous night, and remorse welled up inside him like shades of darkness intruding on the light. Forcing himself to shed off these images, Gilbert swiftly walked into Green Gables, raised his hands to knock, when Marilla suddenly appeared before him, looking glum.

“Gilbert….”

“Marilla,….”

They both said at the same time. Awkwardly, Gilbert shifted on his feet, waiting for Marilla to speak.

“What are you doing here?” asked Marilla, giving him a look that was almost disproving. Had Anne already told her what happened last night?

“I was wondering if I could talk to Anne?”

“ I am sorry, but she and Matthew left for Carmody to pick up some farm tools. They will not be back until tomorrow evening.”

Gilbert could feel his heart shattering. If Anne would not be back until tomorrow, that meant he would not get a chance to speak to her before the Fair. Dejectedly, Gilbert thanked Marilla, refused her offer to tea citing being needed at the farm, and took off. As he walked back home from Green Gables, his thoughts were swirling a mile a minute. Anne, Winifred, Anne, Winifred, the Fair, Anne, Anne, Anne….always Anne. For a second, Gilbert contemplated going to Charlottetown tomorrow to explain to Winifred why he couldn’t go with her to the Fair. Beg for her forgiveness for leading her on. But he knew that was unfair. After all, Gilbert was the one who had asked.

He remembered that day well. Dr. Ward had let him see to some patients with minor issues and it was only him and Winnie at the clinic. They had been discussing the weather and fashions because propriety demanded, at least according to Winnie, that they not talk about serious things. Winnie had asked about the harvest season, and he had mentioned the plentiful harvest they would be expecting soon. She had commented how she wished she could see Avonlea, and Gilbert and impulsively told her that she could come to the Fair with him. Winnie’s smile had lit up her entire face, which had mad Gilbert so uncomfortable at the realization that his asking her to the Fair implied something more between them, something he had not been willing to name ever since he and Anne had become friends. Kindred spirits. How could he take his words back, one day to the Fair, no less?

That evening, he picked up at his food, ignoring the concerned glances Mary and Bash sent him. The couple had tried to get him to talk, but he had not been in the mood to rehash his mistakes and hear about what a big idiot he was. Gilbert knew it was unfair to imagine that Bash and Mary would judge him. In fact, he was sure Mary would him exceptional advice and make him feel better. But Gilbert did not want to feel better, he wanted to wallow in his misery. He deserved to suffer for the pain he knew he had caused Anne, rejecting her (though unintentionally) like that after she had been so brave. He also knew he was being unfair to Winnie, dragging her to the Fair while his mind would be otherwise occupied by thoughts of the redhead.

…………………………………………………
The day of the Fair arrived with incessant chirping of insects and singing of the birds. The weather beautiful, a contrast to the gloominess Gilbert felt. He changed shirts four times, looking for one that required cufflinks to give him an excuse to run to Green Gables and possibly see Anne. Bash eyed him skeptically every time he changed, and Mary grew tired of his indecisiveness and went to tend to Delly. Mary was not entering her cake to the competition, still weak from the last bouts of her illness. She had supported Anne instead, working tediously with the redhead to perfect the cake. Furtively, Gilbert thought she did not enter the competition for fear of being judged by the bigoted and prejudiced judges. Even after all this time in Avonlea, some people still treated Bash and Mary with suspicion.

On the other side of the farm, the day of the Fair found Anne with an annoying cold that she could have done without. Waking up dismally, Anne hurried down the stairs to confirm that her cake, Mary’s cake, was indeed in good condition. She would not want to disappoint Mary, especially since she had been so supportive. After confirming that the cake was indeed alright, Anne took off to Diana’s (much to the protest of Marilla) to take the promised blue dress that she was wearing to the Fair. After promising Diana that she would tell her everything that had happened with Gilbert, Anne went back home to get changed.

She was about to head upstairs when she decided to double check the cake one last time. The sight of her perfect creation reminded Anne of Mary, and how she had almost died. Coupled with the heartbreak she was still feeling after Gilbert’s… rejection? –he had said he would explain everything later, probably to tell her how he only viewed her as nothing more than a friend –unbidden tears sprang to her eyes. That was when she looked up and saw Gilbert. Of course, he would come now.

Gilbert was about to knock on the front door of Green Gables when he was met with the sight of Anne silently crying over her cake. Apprehensively, Gilbert approached her.

“Anne?”

“Gilbert! What are you doing here?”

Anne fired, wiping her eyes with her apron. He was the last person she expected to see, especially since he looked like he came straight from a romance novel with the crisp white shirt and well ironed trousers. Contrastingly, Anne knew her face was an ugly red from the cold and the emotional crying she had subjected herself to after finding that her cake had turned out perfectly. If she was also crying because he heart was heavy with anguish, well that was for her to know. And here he was, the cause of said agony. Her heart was beating loudly, her feelings for him seemingly intensifying as he looked at her concernedly.

“Are you alright? Why are you crying?” Gilbert ignored her previous question, reaching over to tuck a stray hair from her face.

He had been doing that a lot, touching her hands, tucking a stray hair, and even helped braid the red tresses one time. While each touch had filled her with warmth, now she just wanted to hide, flinching slightly as she remembered the mystery girl he had been seeing all this time and never told her. And with this thought, Anne distanced herself from him, going round the table to run up the stairs.

“It’s just a cold, am alright, “ she said, back already turned as she ran away from him for the millionth time.

Gilbert was left there feeling helpless, the cufflinks forgotten as he was faced with the realization that getting Anne to listen to his explanations would be quite a task. Standing there in the kitchen, watching the spot where Anne had long since disappeared up the stairs, Gilbert felt his heart breaking for the hundredth time these past two days. He also had a feeling that before the day was over, with Winnie and her parents coming over (Bash had, sounding disbelieving at Gilbert’s idiocy, explained that if parents were involved, the girl was thinking marriage) Gilbert wished he could go back and unfriend the blonde. Not that he thought she was a bad person –Gilbert realized that this entire mess was his fault –but because she was clearly expecting more from him than he could ever offer. He wished there was a rule book that gave people tips in courtship, otherwise he would have known that taking a girl to tea was only the start of a blossoming relationship that would lead to marriage.

…………………………
Two hours later, Anne was all dressed and ready for the day even if her reflection in the mirror said otherwise. Although she was determined to enjoy the day and not think about the curly haired boy that had told her she was bringing another girl to the fair, her thoughts spun. She imagined Gilbert and the so-called Winifred, walking together and holding hands, looking perfect. She imagined Gilbert proposing to the mystery debutante and Anne excusing herself to subtly wipe her teary eyes at the news. She pictured herself at their wedding, because he was family after all, and she must attend. Anne she felt sick. Rushing towards the stables to vomit, she saw Mathew walking towards her, eyebrows raised in question. But she could not answer him. How could she put it into words the anguish she was feeling?

But he didn’t reject you, said a small, hopeful part of Anne that she tried so hard to ignore. Getting her hopes up had never worked out well for her in the past, now had it? Besides, if Gilbert and this Winifred were just friends, Gilbert would have mentioned it to her, right? Because apart from Diana, Gilbert had become her closet friend these past few months.
Suddenly, Anne felt faint. The cold was clearly not just a minor inconvenience, but she would not let it destroy her chance at showing her cake presentation at the Fair. However, everything in her wanted to crawl under a rock and hide forever, because the thought of seeing Gilbert at the Fair was more daunting than the cake competition. But she could not let Mary and herself down. She had to show up, one way or another.

Quickly assuring Matthew she was fine, Anne rushed to the carriage where Marilla was sitting impatiently, waiting for her and Matthew. She ignored the looks Marilla and Matthew shared and buckled in, willing her headache away. If her adoptive parents were confused as to why she did not bother to greet the trees or talk a mile a minute as usual, they said nothing.

Marilla knew from the look on Anne’s face that her talk with Gilbert had not gone well and she exchanged knowing glances with Mathew to cut the redhead some slack today. Mathew seemed to agree, and the three set off to the fair in silence, each person lost in their own thoughts. Anne, dreading the day ahead, Matthew worrying for his little girl and his radish, and Marilla thinking about John, and praying to God that Anne and Gilbert’s story would have a much better ending.
The Fair was bustling with activity when they arrived and Anne, even in her gloomy state, could not ignore the warmth and excitement that radiated every single stand she laid her eyes on. Ignoring her headache, Anne forgot all about Gilbert and her sadness, and became infected with the merriness of the event. Seeing her Anne coming back, Marilla smiled and hoped that the joy would last.

Leaving Marilla and Mathew to set up the famous plum puffs and radish respectively, Anne took a dime from Mathew and went to stroll by herself, admiring the welcoming sights and stopping to chat every now and then with some of the classmates. She found Diana and Jerry smiling at each other, her friends’ flushed cheeks telling the story of stolen kisses.

When Diana had first told Anne of her trysts with Jerry in the woods, Anne had been stunned. Jerry would always be her annoying brother, and the thought of him and her bosom friend kissing sounded so…bizarre. However, after seeing them together a couple of times, exchanging French phrases and making her feel like she was intruding on blossoming romance, Anne had hugged Diana tight, giving her blessings. Diana had cried, somehow having expecting Anne to disprove of their relationship. But how could she stand in the way of her friend and brother’s happiness? Of course, the couple were keeping their relationship a secret and understandably so. Anne only hoped that one day, when Diana and Jerry would be ready to tell their families, they would receive support. This was something both Anne and Diana worried about, that the Barry’s would never allow their daughter to court a farmhand. Anne had assured Diana that if all hell broke loose, her friend could go live with Aunt Jo, who would undoubtedly and utterly support her. It was also Diana who had relentlessly supported Anne as she sorted out her feelings for Gilbert, and had encouraged her to ask him to the Fair. When Anne told Diana about Gilbert bringing another girl, Diana had been appalled.

Speaking of Gilbert, where was he? Anne had yet to see him, something she appreciated immensely. Maybe he had changed his mind and was coming alone, after all? And speaking of the Devil, Anne spotted Bash and Mary eating ice-cream, Mary on a chair, holding Delly, while Bash gazed at his family longingly. She did not see Gilbert. Smiling at the sight, Anne decided to go over and greet them.

“Diana, am going over to Mary and Bash, see you guys later?” Anne directed the question to her bosom friend, who seemed distracted by something behind them. Looking at Jerry questioningly, Anne saw a frown appear on his face as he also turned to see what had sidetracked Diana. Jerry then looked at Anne, with was it pity?...written on his face.

“Anne!” Diana swiftly grabbed Anne’s hand, attempting to lead her away… “Maybe we should get out of here, there is something I must show you!” Diana said in a rapid breath, acting very weird. Jerry was aggressively nodding along, taking her other hand and starting towards the tents.

Curious, Anne freed herself from Jerry and Diana –how were they so strong? – And turned to look what they were preventing her from seeing. What she saw made her blood run cold. There was Gilbert, prince charming himself, a blonde girl…no, woman, with her hands on his elbows. He was smiling at her as she tripped and fell, catching her like the gentleman she was.
Some part of Anne had wanted to believe that Gilbert and Winifred were only just friends, like he had told her that day. However, anybody looking at them now could not be fooled. They looked so…right for each other that Anne wondered how she had entertained the thought that Gilbert could ever love her when someone like Winifred existed. Gilbert and Winifred. Gilbert and Winifred and her parents.

Unsolicited tears sprung to Anne’s eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. She would not cry. She would not. She felt Diana’s, or was it Jerry’s hand on her back and abruptly she was being led away from the sight. They took her to a small abandoned tent, and Anne felt herself sit down, not even realizing that she was now fully sobbing. She could make Diana and Jerry heatedly talking, and she heard something like “…. I am going to kill ‘im” from Jerry but she could not be sure. When she came back to earth, she realized that Diana was holding her tightly as she cried, soothingly rubbing her back. Jerry was pacing in front of them, fists clenched.

“Am sorry guys, I don’t know what came over me,” Anne attempted, her voice sounding small to her ears. Before either Diana and Jerry could speak, Anne stood up quickly, wiping her face in Jerry’s handkerchief, of all things, and attempted a weak smile.

“ Its fine really, now I know for sure. Am going to find Marilla and Matthew, it must be time for the cake judging.” Anne said quickly as she determinedly turned away, leaving jerry and Diana standing in the tent, watching her go helplessly. Diana had seen the determined look on her friend’s face many times and she held Jerry back from going after Anne because she would not budge. Hopefully, Anne would be ready to talk later. She had been so sure that Gilbert loved Anne, and had almost believed that Winifred was a figment of her friend’s overactive imagination. Now that she saw Gilbert and Winifred with her own eyes, Diana did to know what to think.

As Anne approached the stand where the cake competition was being, she was met with another sight that made her regret her decision to leave Diana and Jerry. Her family was all there, Marilla, Matthew, Bash (now holding Delly), Mary, Gilbert, and ….Winifred. Were those Winifred’s parents? They all seemed to be looking for something, supposedly her, but she could not get her feet to move. She was frozen a few distances away, watching as Gilbert introduced Winifred to Matthew and Marilla –she had already met Mary and Bash, it seemed – started looking around. Like he felt her presence, Gilbert’s eyes scanned the small crowds until they spotted her. Anne had never wanted to run more than she did in that moment, staring at him. How could he still manage to make her heart skip a beat despite her anguish?. She quickly averted her gaze and slowly made her way to her family, just as the judges were about to announce the results of the cake competition.

……………………………………………………………………………………………
When Gilbert spotted Anne, looking beautiful with her bright red her that was let loose, light blue gorgeous dress, and flushed cheeks, he forgot about Winifred – he had a sudden urge to force her hand away from his elbow. He forgot about the competition and anyone else as Anne slowly approached. After she averted her eyes and reached them, Gilbert got a chance to really look at her, and saw that she had been crying. Glumly, something in Gilbert knew that he was some the cause of her miserable state. Gratefully, Winnie had let go of his arm as she turned her body to greet Anne, who seemed frozen in shock as she stared at the blonde. Awkwardly, Gilbert attempted to introduce Anne, but all he managed to say was “classmate and “family friend.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than he internally cringed. Anne was much more than that. She was his light, his everything. At that moment, Gilbert was sure he loved her. How could he not have seen it before?

When Winnie, always proper and warm, asked Anne whether she spelled her name with or without an “e” Gilbert, and everyone else present, was immensely shocked and confused when Anne muttered quickly, “without…just plain Ann,” just as the judges called attention to her cake. Anyone who knew Anne knew how important the “e” to her name was. Marilla seemed flabbergasted, Mathew’s eyes widened in worry, and Bash and Mary exchanged a knowing glance. Gilbert wished he could understand the meaning being their gazes, because something told him that the knowing looks were at his expense. However, he was just confused. Why would Anne, vibrant, lively Anne, introduce herself thus? Could it mean that she was jealous? He did not have time to contemplate her behavior because the judges were calling out the winner and she won! Of course she had won, she was Anne and she was amazing.

Mary was hugging her with tears in her eyes, and Matthew and Marilla looked so proud of their adopted daughter. Even Anne was now smiling, even if her eyes held a sadness that he had never seen before. After the results were announced and hugs were shared, Bash, Mary and Delly excused themselves to go for a stroll through the Fair. Matthew went to his radish competition, and Marilla joined Mrs. Lynde, to get an earful of the latest gossip. Which left Gilbert, Winnie and her parents, and Anne alone alongside the cakes. Gilbert knew he must have done something very wrong in a previous life to be subjected to this torture. Because being left alone with the girl he was in love with but had unwittingly rejected, and the girl he considered a friend but had brought to the Fair anyway, making giving a very wrong impression to Avonlea gossips, and her parents was the definition of awkwardness. He was glad when Anne abruptly excused herself, mumbling unintelligibly. He wanted to run after her, but Winnie’s father had already started questioning him about his dreams and the Sorbonne, or all things. As if he could afford the Sorbonne.

When Winnie’s father playfully asked Gilbert his intentions with his daughter, Gilbert immediately realized what Bash had been warning him about. Winnie considered them more than friends. How had he misread the situation so wrong? He knew that he had to make things right, no matter what.

Later, when he was accompanying Winnie and her parents back to the train station, Gilbert decided to man up and explain everything to Winnie. Winnie’s shocked reaction when he told her that he thought them friends and nothing more left Gilbert feeling like the biggest cad in all PEI. He had wanted so much to act grown up that he hadn’t realized he still had years of maturing to undergo. Hurting Winnie was the last thing Gilbert wanted, but he knew it had to be done. Watching the train leave, after getting murderous glares from both Winnie and her parents, Gilbert felt relieved for the first time in months. Now, he had to make things right with Anne.
…………………………………..
After the awkwardness with Gilbert and Winifred and her parents, Anne’s headache had returned full force, and she had begged Marilla and Mathew to let her go home. She could not stay a minute longer at the Fair, not for the dance, not for all the wonderful sights she was sure she would regret missing later. Right now, she just wanted to go home, curl up in bed, and cry. Fortunately, Mary and Bash were also leaving early, and Anne convinced Mathew and Marilla to let her go with them. Marilla had to stay with Mrs. Lynde for the Plum puff competition, and Matthew was happily laughing with his friend, and Anne and did not want to deprive him the rare opportunity for socializing. Reluctantly, Marilla let her go, and she joined Bash and Mary at the gate, narrowly avoiding Diana, Jerry, and all her classmates. She was not interested in hearing about the mysterious debutante Gilbert had brought to the Fair.

Seeing that Gilbert was not with Mary and Bashed, she assumed he was with Winifred, probably exchanging words of love and some kisses. Bash and Mary did not comment as Anne joined them on the carriage, but she could tell they were worried about her from the pitiful glances they shot her way. She brushed away their concerns and settled herself at the back of the carriage. Within minutes, she was asleep.

Not shortly after Anne had fallen asleep at the back of the buggy, Mary looked worriedly at Bash, to find him looking frowning deeply, fleetingly looking at the sleeping redhead.
“Poor Anne,” said Mary, reaching a hand to touch her forehead. Anne was warm. “She is sick.” Bash agreed. He hurried the buggy towards Green Gables both of them knowing that they could not leave Anne alone. When they arrived, Mary went to shake the redhead awake, who was now looking at her as if unseeing. Together with Bash, they helped Anne off the buggy, and Bash had to support most of her weight. They were almost at the stairs when Anne suddenly fell, making Bash lose his balance slightly. He picked her up easily as Mary hurried to get the door open. Thankfully, no one really left their door closed in Avonlea. Mary had experience looking after sick boys, Elijah –oh how she missed her son – always getting sick when he was younger. After they had laid her down on the couch and forced her to drink some water, Mary wet a cloth with cold water and held it to Anne’s forehead. Miraculously, her fever was not high, and she had a feeling it would pass soon.

“Should we call the doctor?” asked Bash, holding a sleeping Delly and putting an arm around Mary. She leaned in to his touch, shaking her head.

“Her fever isn’t too high, and even if it was, I doubt the doctor is available what with the Fair and all.”

“Blythe will want to confirm your diagnosis, my doctor Mary,” Bash quipped teasingly. The mention of Gilbert’s name had Mary recalling the events at the Fair, when he had introduced Winifred to Anne. The poor girl had looked too heartbroken Mary wanted to wrap her in her arms and never let go. She hoped Gilbert’s talk with Winifred had been successful, grateful the young man had come to his senses and admitted his feelings for the redhead.

“That Blythe is a real fool. I warned him, he never listens. If he could have admitted his feelings for Anne back at the steamer, the fool would be so happy with the girl he loves now.” Bash sounded exasperated with Gilbert. Mary smiled. She really enjoyed watching the two men interact, their relationship forged in a steamer, worlds away. She thanked God that Gilbert had found Bash, or that they had found each other.

“Has Gilbert really loved Anne that long?”

“Yes. He always went on and on about a girl in Avonlea. He called her a ‘redhead with fiery temper.’ The look on his face was enough for any sane person to see the boy was gone for Anne.”

“They will be alright,” this, Mary was sure of. She hoped Gilbert would man up and tell Anne everything. After he freaked out about Anne being sick.
…………………………………………………..
Gilbert was coming from the train station when he was met with Moody and Charlie.

“Hey Gilbert,” said Moody, not too gently patting Gilbert on the shoulder, “why didn’t you tell us you were secretly courting a rich girl from Charlottetown? You have outdone yourself man, it’s all everyone is talking about.”

Gilbert groaned.

“And you even met the parents,” Charlie piped in. “I hear your getting engaged, so when is the big day?” The two boys went on, unaware of the sour look that had taken over Gilbert’s face. This was the last thing he wanted. Did that mean Anne thought the same?

“Guys stop!” Gilbert turned to them impatiently. “ Look. It is nothing like that. Winifred is just a friend, we work together at Dr. Ward’s. I was just showing them around.”

“Oh” Moody nodded thoughtfully, “it’s Anne, isn’t it? I saw you two at the dance practice. Honestly, I expected you to ask her to the Fair today.”

Did everyone know his feelings for Anne? He forced himself to swallow his remorse. He had messed up so badly. He had to find Anne. Excusing himself, Gilbert expeditiously hastened back to the Fair, looking for red hair. He saw Mathew and Marilla walking towards the gate, looking like they were leaving.

“Miss Cuthbert,” Gilbert panted. “Where is Anne?”

“Oh, she was not feeling well, she left early with Bash and Mary. We are also headed home, we is honestly worried for her,” Marilla’s voice cracked at the end.

Anne was not feeling well. He had noticed her solemn look, of course, but had not been in a position to ask her. Anne was sick.

“She had a cold, she will be alright,” Marilla, noticing the panicking look on his face, added quickly. Gilbert nodded. “May I join you?”

“Yes. Of course.” They went to the buggy. Anne was sick. Anne was sick, and Gilbert had to get to her quickly. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go, hold her until she got better. He hoped that it was just a minor cold, nothing serious. The thought of losing Anne was unfathomable, and he determined that he would not leave her side until she was better. His companions were also silent, clearly worried for their adoptive daughter. Gilbert thanked God that Anne was not alone, confident that Bash and Mary had not left her. First, he should take care of her, and then, he would explain everything, beg for her forgiveness, and confess his unyielding live for her. He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice Matthew and Marilla watching him farcically. Had Mathew asked him a question?

“Um…forgive me, I was lost in thought. Did you ask me something?” He looked at Matthew, who was now eyeing him strangely.

“Oh…uh…I asked about you and that girl from Charlottetown,” said Matthew.

With a sudden clarity, Gilbert realized the look on their faces. Was that disappointment? In this moment, he understood that Anne was perhaps not the only person affected by his rash actions. He remembered a time when Matthew had found him and Anne seated too closely on the floor at Green Gables. He had been smiling at something Anne had said, and Matthew had come in then. The knowing glance he had shot him had made Gilbert grasp that the older man knew of Gilbert’s feelings for Anne. And judging by the smile on his face, Gilbert had had his blessing. He remembered thinking that he ought to confess to Anne soon, before they were interrupted by Jerry.

And now, Matthew thought he did not care for Anne anymore. Summoning all the strength he could manage, Gilbert told Matthew and Marilla everything, how he had been oblivious of his actions, how he had cared for Anne for so long. He told them that he had only considered Winifred a friend and nothing more, and that he had mistakenly asked her to the Fair. He expressed his remorse at hurting Anne the night she came to him with flowers, and did not realize that tears were streaming down his face. He told them that he had ended things with Winnie, and that Anne would be the only one for him. He explained that he would do everything in his power to make things right with Anne. When he finished speaking, he looked up, only for Marilla to reach out and squeeze his hand, a sign of forgiveness and understanding.

“I know you did not intend to hurt Anne, and if she decides to forgive you, know that you have my….” he looked at Marilla “…our blessing.” Marilla nodded in confirmation, and Gilbert was overcome with emotions he had not felt since his father died. Familial love and acceptance. For the first time in a long time, Gilbert felt like he had a family that extended beyond Bash and Mary, a real family. He smiled gratefully at the Cuthbert’s, and the rest of the journey was filled with comfortable silence.

…………………………………………………….
When Gilbert’s father was sick, Gilbert would check on him every now and then to check he was still breathing. Back then, his biggest fear was that he would wake up one morning to find his dad dead without even a goodbye. Now, looking at Anne sleeping on the couch, body hidden in warm blankets that Mary must have put on her, Gilbert felt like it was his father over again. Even when sleeping, hair messed up and tresses falling loose from the braids, she had never looked so beautiful. Her skin was pale, and her face red from the fever. Gilbert was kneeling in front of her on the couch, and Matthew and Bash sat quietly in the sitting room, occasionally casting Anne worried glances. Mary and Marilla were in the kitchen preparing dinner, and had Anne not been sick, it would have appeared like a normal family dinner that occurred every Sunday.
When they had arrived, Gilbert had rushed towards Anne immediately, ignoring everyone else in the room as he knelt before her. She had looked so small, and he had feared the worst. Matthew and Marilla had been similarly worried, but Mary had assured them that her fever was already dropping. He had gone into doctor mode, firing questions to Mary in rapid session –had she vomited, when was the last time she ate, had she said anything? –until Bash had dragged him away from her, telling him that she needed her rest. Now, hours later, she was still peacefully sleeping, and Gilbert could admit that her fever was indeed going down. He knew she would be okay by morning –she had to –and then he would wrap her in his arms and ever let go.

……………………………………
Gilbert was pulled from his fitful sleep suddenly, and he sat up in the unfamiliar bed, panting. He was momentarily confused as he did not recognize the strange bed he was in, until her remembered: Coming to Green Gables after the Fair, taking care of Anne, Bash and Mary leaving, Gilbert insisting that he would stay the night, Marilla showing him the guest room after Bash had carried Anne to bed. Checking up on Anne in her room, and finding her sleeping, being tempted to join her on the small bed, and forcing himself to go to his assigned room and try to get some rest. He looked at his watch: 3.34am. He was about to lie back on the bed when he heard the sounds again, like someone was wheezing loudly. Registering the sound to the direction of Anne’s room, Gilbert shot from the bed so fast he got a whiplash.

He had been to Anne’s room before, that one time when Anne had claimed to be too lazy to climb the stairs up her room to get a book they needed in their regular study sessions. Gilbert had huffed, feigning displeasure, but secretly, he was curious to see Anne’s room. Now, with only the moon’s light, he could not see much, the candle having gone out long ago. He approached the bed carefully, where Anne was breathing heavily, looking around the room frantically.

“Anne?” Gilbert called out softly, carefully reaching for her right hand and stopping her frantic body movements.

“Gil..?”
“Hey, Anne, it’s me. You’re safe, you are in your room,” he slowly raised his hand to her forehead, pleased to note that her fever had completely broken in the night.

“Gilbert? What….I don’t understand. What are you doing here?” Gilbert pretended not to feel his heart dislodging from his throat at her words. How could she expect him to be anywhere else but by her side, when she was sick?

“You had us worried there. You were sick, do you remember? You have been sleeping for hours, since the Fair.”

The mention of the Fair had Anne’s body stiffly closing up, quickly drawing her had from his.
“Oh…” she murmured in a small vice, turning away from him and laying back down on the bed. Even in the dimming moonlight, Gilbert could make out her downcast expression, pain flashing in her eyes. She seemed to be in a trance, recollecting a painful memory.

“Water…” she said wearily, as if the thought of asking him for something took a toll on her.
“Of course. I’ll be right back,” he said as he stood to fetch water from the kitchen. When he came back to the room and handed her the water, she had lit a candle, and he could now make out her soft features, hair loose, and freckles that went down from her face, to the collarbones, and down…down…down…Face heating up at the image his mind had been conjuring and forcing himself to look at Anne, he found that she had finished the water, and he was sure the crimson blush on her face was reflected on his own.

He cleared his throat.

“Do you want to go back to sleep? I can leave….” He started, uncertainly. As much as he wanted to stay up in her room and talk all night, Gilbert knew he had to let her rest. He wanted to explain everything to her, and pled to God she would hear him.

“No…I actually feel very awake. I must have slept for so long…”

“Almost fifteen hours. Mary said you fell asleep as soon as you arrived back at Green Gables.”

“It's all so fuzzy. I remember Mary taking care of me? I must remember to thank her when I see her next. Oh, and Marilla’s plum puffs! Did she win? What about Matthew’s radish? Oh I must have missed a lot.”

Gilbert smiled. Anne’s voice was getting more animated as she spoke, and he thanked God that she was okay. This was the Anne he knew and loved. Speaking of…
“Anne, there is something I need to talk to you about – “

“–oh , it’s okay I understand I wish you two every happiness –“

“– it’s about Winifred…wait what? Anne,” Gilbert interrupted, not wanting her to finish that heartbreaking train of thought. Seeing as she was about to go on:

“Anne!” he cut her off, more loudly this time. Gilbert hoped that the other residents of the house were fast asleep.

She nodded surreptitiously, silently asking him to continue. He could do this. Gilbert took her hand and was overjoyed when she let him, turning to look at him softly. She must have sensed he was about say something dire.

“Anne, I love you.”

Well, Gilbert had not intended to start with saying those words, and by the way her eyes widened, he must have caught her off guard. Her face then contorted confusedly, and Gilbert rushed to explain. Oh how he felt good saying those words out loud.

“Anne, I have had feelings for you since the first day I saw you in that forest. At first, I couldn’t understand what I was feeling, so I tried to ignore it. Then we called truce that day in Charlottetown as I was leaving, and I felt a shred of happiness for the first time since my dad. At the steamer, I would see your face whenever I thought of Avonlea. The day I got that letter from you, I literary jumped with joy, you can ask Bash. These past few months, as we grew closer, and you became my closest friend, my kindred spirit, the most important person in my life, I knew I was in love. Winifred was just a friend, a friend that I had asked impulsively to tea a few times. However, the idiot I am did not know the meaning of those teas, or the implication of inviting her to the Fair. When I asked her, I honestly had no intention of creating something more between us. I had only ever seen her as a friend. How could I, when I already loved you too much?” Both Gilbert and Anne were crying now, openly, and Anne was smiling disbelievingly.

She softly nudged him to continue.

“Anne, I should have asked you to the Fair. I should have confessed my feelings long ago, but I did not think you felt the same way. That day, when you brought me flowers, was one of the happiest in my life. And to think I messed it up with my idiocy….”

“Gil…”
He interrupted. “ Please, let me finish this, Anne. I know my actions have hurt you. Yesterday, at the Fair, I will never forgive myself for the look on your face when you saw me with Winifred. I am so sorry, Anne. But I promise you, that is all behind me. I talked to Winifred, and admittedly, she was confused and angry with me, but we are done. I don’t think we are even friends anymore. There is no one else for me but you Anne. It always has been, and it always will be you. I love you. I understand if you need time…. umph!”

Gilbert’s rant was interrupted by Anne’s lip suddenly crashing on his. He was momentarily stunned, and was frozen for a second, until he felt Anne slowly start to pull away. But Gilbert would not let her, not when he tasted heaven for the first time. Not when her lips tasted like sunshine, and melted all his worried. He kissed her back fervently, and she returned the kiss with equal passion. Gilbert did not know how long they kissed, tears from both their faces mingling with the sweetness of her lips, but he did not care. He could stay in this moment forever.

When Anne eventually pulled back, she rested her forehead on his and smiled widely. She started giggling, and Gilbert, always following her, could not stifle his giggles. He did not know how long they stayed there laughing, silently so as to not be heard, but eventually Anne pecked him tenderly on the lips, and then…

“I love you Gilbert,” she said sweetly.

Gilbert could not believe it . She loved him! And judging by the way she was smiling at him, she had forgiven him for his foolishness. So what was Gilbert to do than to kiss her?

And he did.

Hours later – they were lucky Marilla had not woken up from the noise they had been making –Gilbert left for the guest room once more, vehemently refusing Anne’s pleas to say on her bed. He had tried his luck by being in her bedroom in the middle of the night, both of them in their nightgowns, unchaperoned. He would not risk Marilla's benevolence by sleeping in her bed, even if every part of him was begging him to stay. With one final short and passionate kiss, Gilbert left, feeling like a man reborn. He had a feeling that sleep would be a long time coming that night.

………………………………..
When Anne next woke up, it was late, judging by the sun rays streaming through the sheer curtains. She was starving, she could not remember the last time she had eaten. Walking to the mirror, Anne smile as she remembered Gilbert coming to her room last night, and everything that followed. Was it all a dream? Had Gilbert really confessed he loved her? She had kissed him! The last few days of heartbreak melted as she pleasingly realized that while her imagination was wild on a good day, she had not conjured up Gilbert’s confession.

She still struggled to believe that last night had been real. After the heartbreak and misunderstanding, Anne was in love, with a boy who confessed he had loved her for so long. Remembering how nervous he had been, explaining Winifred, Anne knew that she trusted Gilbert with everything in her. Even though they did not attend the Fair together, it all worked out in the end. Speaking of Gilbert and her rumbling stomach, Anne made her way downstairs, where she was met with a sight she hoped to see every day. Mary and Bash were organizing the table, looking as if they had just arrived from church. Marilla and Gilbert were standing by the kitchen counter talking in low tones. When she made the last step, Bash saw her, and joyously announced,

“Queen Anne!...” after which every head turned towards her, making her blush.

“Anne, you look well,” Marilla said, coming up to hug her. Over Marilla’s shoulder, she caught Gilbert’s eye, who was smiling widely at her. She smiled back, releasing Marilla to hug Mary and Bash.

“Thank you for bringing me home. I heard you took care of me,” she told the couple, Mary brushing her off “ No thanks necessary Anne. We are family after all. Am just glad you’re feeling well. Someone,” she eyed Gilbert, “…was sick with worry.” Both Anne and Gilbert blushed, and she turned away from Mary to give him a hug. She ignored all propriety as she hugged him tightly, feeling him hold her just as tight.

“Am so glad you’re okay,” Gilbert croaked. She was about to do something stupid, like kiss him in front of everybody, when the door opened and in entered Matthew. He looked stunned to see her, and she quickly released Gilbert to go hug him.

After Marilla pushed her up the stairs to wash up for lunch, when had Gilbert changed? Anne came back to the sitting room and took a seat next to Gilbert. Sitting up next to him, she wondered if they would tell everyone of the new development in their relationship. Last night, after many kisses and ‘I love you’s were whispered in the darkness, they had not discussed their relationship. They both wanted to start courting, but had not planned beyond that. As if reading her thoughts, Gilbert took her hand in his, and brought their joined hands to the table. Conversation stopped, as everyone looked at the two teenagers with varying expressions. Bash was bouncing off his seat with excitement and Mary was smiling softly. Marilla was feigning disinterest, even if a hint of a smile could be seen, and Matthew was looking at Gilbert questioningly.

Gilbert cleared his throat. “Anne and I talked, and we decided to start courting,” he looked at her and then turned to look at the rest of his family, “thank you Matthew for your blessings.” He continued, and Anne shot him an astonished look. Squeezing her hand reassuringly, promising that he would tell her more later, he looked at her and she smiled, urging him to go on, “you are our family, and we wanted to share the news with you first.” The table buzzed with excitement, hugs, and laughter.

“To Anne and Gilbert. We thank God for healing our Anne, and for you Gilbert. It fills my heart with joy knowing that Anne will be loved and cherished like she deserves.” Marilla toasted to the couple, leaving Anne feeling teary for all the love surrounding. Bash even did his famous dance, to the embarrassment of Gilbert, and the amusement of the rest of the people at the table. It was the best Sunday of Anne’s life, delimited by the warmth that could only come from family and her handsome lover.

Later, when food had been eaten, congratulations were had, and Bash, Mary, and Delly returned to the Blythe-Lacroix farm, Anne and Gilbert took a stroll in the woods, holding hands. They had decided they would ignore propriety rules, and seeing as her family did not mind as long as they behaved –it had been an awkward talk from Marilla –, they decided to take full advantage.
They stopped at a fallen log and sat down, Anne with her head resting on Gilbert’s shoulder. They did not speak, content to just remain in each other’s arms.

“I love you so much Anne,” Gilbert said softly, lifting her chin to look at him.

The depth of emotion she saw in his eyes took her breath away. Wordlessly, Gilbert lowered his head and caught her lips in his. The feeling was sensational. Anne wondered whether she would get used to kissing him. They kissed indolently, yet passionately for a while, ignoring the world around them.

The next day at school would find Gilbert waiting for Anne and they would walk together, holding hands, to the astonishment of her classmates, save Diana, whom Anne would have told everything after the walk. Anne and Gilbert would be Avonlea’s new gossip for a while, some people wondering at the match between the two. The support of their families and friends was all they would need and they would continue to ignore propriety and kiss everywhere they could. The couple would soon part ways as Anne headed to Queens and Gilbert to Toronto, but their love would grow stronger with time. On their first Christmas back home from their respective schools, Mary would announce a second pregnancy at the Blythe-Lacroix farm, where Jerry and Elijah would be new additions to the weekly Sunday family gatherings. Anne and Gilbert would continue to send letters filled with love to each other and one day, Gilbert would write one to Matthew, with permission to propose.

Chapter Text

When the mail for the day arrived, Anne was sitting at the breakfast table with Matthew and Jerry, enjoying just being back home after a long year at Queens.

She had graduated in one year instead of two, which had meant fewer breaks, endless studying and no time to attend the parties the Avonlea girls constantly went to. Not that she minded anyway, since Diana did not also attend, travelling to Aunt Jo’s every weekend where her parents had organized for a Finishing school teacher. It was a compromise her bosom friend accepted all too eagerly, as it meant she would still get an education and stay at Queens with Anne and their other friends. Besides, Anne was not interested in attending those Queens’ events and parties since they were used as an opportunity for courtships, Why would she, when she had her own prince charming studying to be a doctor in Toronto?

Speaking of Prince charming, Anne could not wait to meet him for their walk later that afternoon. Gilbert had arrived the day before for the summer break, and Anne could not wait to spend an entire summer with him. This was the first time they would be spending a few months together since the start of their courtship.

“Anne, this arrived for you,” Marilla appeared, holding out the mail the mail to Anne.
“Really? For me?” Anne asked her guardian instead of picking out the envelope, kicking her brain for any letters she was expecting.

“Well, unless there is someone else called Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, yes it is for you. Now hurry up and open it, we don’t have all day.” Said Marilla wryly, eager for Anne to open the contents of the letter. The return address was from Queens.

With quivering hands, Anne carefully tore the envelope open and skimmed through the contents inside. There was a single letter, very short. Anne abruptly leapt from her seat and let out a shriek that had Matthew, Marilla, and Jerry standing up as well, still not used to Anne’s histrionics over the years.

“Well?” asked Matthew, a smile lighting his face at the naked joy that was spreading his daughter’s face as she reread the letter over and over again.

“Anne?” Matthew repeated, louder this time, but Anne was in a daze, body bouncing with excitement.

Marilla had dropped the basked of laundry that she had been preparing to take outside, appearing at Anne’s side and attempting to read the letter over her shoulder. Jerry, apparently bored with Anne’s high jinks, had sat back down to pay attention to his breakfast. Matthew was waiting patiently for Anne to come back to earth.

“I …I …” Anne attempted to explain, still looking at the letter as if she could not believe what she was reading. Marilla finally snapped.

“Anne! For God’s sake child, stop with that nonsense and tell us what’s happening!” This seemed to jolt Anne back to the present. She finally raised her head from the letter and let out another unexpectedly loud squeal as she started towards the door.

“Anne! Come back here at once!” Marilla stopped Anne, the redhead turning once astonished audience.

“Am going to Toronto!” she said, running out of the house as Matthew, Marilla, and even Jerry ran outside to catch up with Anne as her red flowing hair disappeared outside the Green Gables Gate.

“Did she just say she was going to Toronto?” Matthew turned to Marilla disbelievingly, only to find her still gaping at the Gate where Anne had since left. Even after all this time, Anne had a knack for catching them off guard.

Smiling slightly, Marilla seemed to recover from her shock as she turned to her brother, “I caught some words, and it seems that our girl has been accepted to the University of Toronto. She must have gone to share the news with Gilbert.”

Matthew’s heart swelled with emotion, so proud of his dear Anne. She would go to university, and was courting an amazing young man. His heart swelled in pride that Anne would achieve all her dreams with Gilbert by her side. It was all he had ever wanted for his little girl, to achieve the dreams he And Marilla had been unable to fulfill. Marilla seemed to share his sentiments, as she squeezed his hand and went back inside the house, her faced showing blissful emotion.

“Those two will elope in Toronto soon,” Jerry broke the silence that had befallen Green Gables after Anne had left, earning a playful glare from Matthew and a towel on the face from Marilla, who had heard his statement.

“Anne would never,” said Matthew, all confident in his Anne. He prayed that his heart would hold out long enough for him to walk her down the aisle one day.

…………………………………………………….

Gilbert, Mary, Bash and even baby Delly were busy sorting out the apples from the bounteous harvest when their harmonious task was interrupted by the sound of the gate opening, the hinges that were coming loose letting out an infuriating squeak as the metals screeching together.

Looking up, Gilbert was welcomed by the vision of Anne running towards the Blythe-Lacroix farm, holding a letter in one hand, the other supporting her skirts. No sooner had Gilbert stood up from his place than Anne had barreled into his arms, both her hands going round his neck and letting out an excited yell.

Gilbert’s arms automatically went round her waist, hoisting her up as he laughed without care. Anne always managed to bring out his boyish side, with her overenthusiastic and warm spirit always managed to make his heart swell. Here, in his arms, was where she belonged, Gilbert felt himself falling more in love with her.

Anne was panting heavily in his chest, making Gilbert think that she had run all the way from Green Gables. He did notice Mary and Bash laughing softly behind them, mesmerized by Anne’s antics.

“Queen Anne, am dying here. Won’t you share the news?” Bash interrupted the lovers’ affectionate embrace; thanking God that Mrs. Lynde had already left otherwise she would have a heart attack from the impropriety of it all.

Extricating herself from his embrace, leaving Gilbert feeling a sudden loss of warmth, Anne announced suddenly, smile stretching for miles, “ I am going to Toronto! I got the Avery scholarship!”

With those sweet words, Gilbert swept her up in her arms again, spinning her around happily as Mary and Bash clapped in joy for the couple. Gilbert had been a ball of nerves the last few months since Anne had written him that she had applied for the scholarship that would allow her to either further her studies at Redmond or U of T. While he had no doubt that Anne could do it, he had not wanted to assume that she would choose Toronto just because he was there. He had avoided asking her what university she would choose, until last week when she had mentioned in their walk that should she get the scholarship, she would definitely join him in Toronto. He had been so overcome with emotion that he had kissed her hard and passionate, almost leaving her lips bruising.

“So I get it that you would not mind me joining you?” Anne had asked after she had recovered from the sudden and not unwelcome kiss, a nervous twinge in her voice that had made Gilbert think she had been worrying about it, too.

“Would I mind? Anne, you just gave me the most tremendous news. No more parting for months, seeing each other almost every day. I have never been happier,” Gilbert said, then added “my love,” which always managed to make her blush prettily.

And now, with Anne in his arms, those dreams had come true. In this moment, with Bash and Mary reading the letter that they had somehow taken from Anne, he felt like he was in heaven. In their innumerable letters, Gilbert and Anne had shared their longing for each other, the distance becoming harder the longer they were apart. A few letters were smudged in tears, evidencing their sadness and sorrow at being apart for months.

As Anne’s poetic and detailed words mentioned suitors at Mrs. Blackmore’s parlor and her friends’ shenanigans at Queens, Gilbert had felt as if he was keeping Anne from meeting a more handsome, wealthy boy who could provide her with everything he couldn’t. He still had years of medical school left, and sometimes he felt as if their long-distance courtship was unfair to Anne. She deserved romance and a suitor would call on her with flowers every now and then. He had shared these fears with Mary, who had scolded him that he had nothing to worry about. Mary had advised him to discuss his fears with Anne, for she was probably feeling the same worry that he would find another girl in Toronto. Had had looked at Mary disbelievingly, knowing there would never be anyone else for him but his Anne with an E.

After he had shared his concerns with Anne, he had been astounded to hear that she had also worried that he would be swept away by debutantes at Toronto. Although they had moved past the whole Winifred mess, Anne had confessed that sometimes, she compared herself to the blonde, and worried that he would leave him one day for someone prettier. Heart breaking for his darling sweetheart, the most beautiful girl in the world to him, Gilbert had realized that they were both afraid to lose each other. They had assured each other and solidified their love that day, and the kisses following that talk were more meaningful somehow, and filled with love.

He had not forgotten the letter he had penned Matthew asking for permission to propose to Anne. He had been waiting for the right moment, and now with Anne joining him in Toronto, there would be plenty of opportunities.