Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sniffles and y/n's first time.
Part 1

Sniffles is smart. Really smart.
And when it comes to any problem involving science, math, or anything in between, he's your man.

But outside of that book smartness..
Poor thing doesn't know right from left when it comes to dating.
At first, you were the one to come to him with your problems and he was there to fix them.
Then a friendly relationship was built from there.
And when The anteater started to develop feelings towards you, he didn't even know where to start.

He read all sorts of books and articles on how to date.
What to except and what to do as person A since it's not all boy does this and girl does that anymore.
It took months to even try to just get sniffles to even understand what he needed to do to even ask you on a date.
And when that day came, he asked if you would like to go to dinner.
Soon after in what seemed like a disaster of a first date and about two people dead, you said yes.

Holding hands was frequent, and so was hugging.
Everything was good, and then when (y/n) one night after a date while walking her home, she planted a kiss onto his snout.

Sniffles blushed madly.
Their first kiss. Wasn't he supposed to do it??? Or maybe it's the person B's turn?
What should he do?
(Y/n) didn't notice this, as he was just internally screaming at himself.
'What do I do???'
Then in a memory popped in his head with one of the books he had read about dating.
'Chapter 5: If person B pecks you, always return the kiss with one on same place or when in high level on lips'

He looked at (Y/n) who was still smiling deeply.
He closed his eyes and returned her kiss with one what he thought was her cheek and when he felt something more softer, he opened his eyes and froze.

He miss calculated and kissed her lips.
She looked surprised, but instantly melted into the kiss.

He broke the kiss, and rubbed the back of his head.
"I'm sorry, I meant to-"
He was interrupted by a finger to his lips.
"No need, I was wondering when you would kiss me"
You laugh.
He chuckled nervously, and as he did she gave him another peck and said her farewell.
He smiled deeply, and felt his legs almost give out from under him.
It was love that made him feel so fluttery and it made his legs feel like jelly.

When Sniffles went home, he called Nutty about the date.
How it Went well and all and told him about the kiss.
Nutty being Well... Nutty.
He was happy about his friend. And reminded him of his next steps into relationships as if he had been in one.
Talking about now that you broke the ice of kissing the next step was getting down and dirty.
Sniffles didn't understand the slang he used, and asked him to elaborate.
"We'll it's simple, once she knows you're ready to move on, she wants you to go to the next step. Sex is what a woman wants.
After the the call, sniffles pondered.
Why would she want to reproduce so early into the relationship? Was it something they had to do?

He was confused.
After all the research he had done, none of it went even close to sex.
Of course he also knew what happens when a female and male mate.
But was it mandatory?
He wasn't ready to be a father, and really was (y/n) ready to be a mother?
She was the one who said yes, and pulled more first moves than he did.
So maybe?
Sniffles opened up the book he had been reading about dating and flipped around to find anything that had to do with sex.
Nothing.
So maybe, he could look it up.
Specifically, he was clueless to what to do when in sex.
He knew that he was supposed to put his penis into her vagina and then that would make a baby if he came inside.
Was it kind of like masturbation?
He had also read online that you could have these kind of events by yourself without your partner.
He had never done anything like this before.
Let alone with someone else!
So he thought he would try the former to at least he some experience.
So maybe there's a way around it?
After looking at images and videos of people having sex, he felt his own member twitch at the thought of doing it with (y/n).

Was this the erection he needed to have?
He looked at his own package and wrote down his findings,
"Appears to erect and stimulated when in extreme lustful conditions, clear white substance also seems to be coming out of the head as it becomes erect."

His breaths staggered and he felt himself get extremely hot and pulled himself out of his desk chair.
He had read an article about how to properly masturbate and started to kind of pull at himself.
It also read that lubing yourself was a good idea to get things going faster.

So some lotion he kept at his dresser might do the trick, he started by grabbing the bottle and put a generous amount in his hand and lathered it onto himself.
Curling his fingers around his shaft, he started to keep a slow and steady pace until he felt that he was ready to quicken the pace.
Sweat started to bead on his forehead, and his breathing staggered anymore.
It felt so good.
His sensitivity felt at an all time high.
His nipples hardened has his hips instinctively bucked into his hand.
He quickens his pace and rubbed his nipple his his free hand.
It all felt so good. He was in ecstasy.
He moaned (y/n)'s name as he stroked himself.
He licked his lips hoping to still taste hers.
"Oh, (y/n) I want to mate with you...." He moaned"(Y/N)!"
And not long after he felt his hand to come to a stop as he came long ropes of semen .
None that he had seen before.
God, what a mess.
There was so much that landed on himself on his chest and his face and glasses.
He felt accomplished.
So much so that he wrote in his journal that it was a good idea to bring lube before hand.

Next, he remembered that there was a way to keep from getting pregnant. Many ways actually, and one way is a condom.
Over 98% accuracy from keeping one pregnant.

Later that day he went out and bought what he had looked for.
Knowing he was an average size he bought a normal pack to practice on.

Laying in bed, he stroked himself again to get erect once more to practice on this part of the test.
First, he checked for holes and tears in the condom or packaging and once things were clear, he followed to the step of rolling it out, It had said to roll it out as you go down the shaft.
So he did just that and tried to not to go as fast.
I'm just in case he would tear it or cause any discomfort.
So far things were good.
The tightness of the condom hugged his erection as if he were inside already.
As he finally made it down the shaft, he cheered and smiled.
After use, you are supposed to carefully take it off and tie it so that you aren't to lose any semen.
Tying the used condom and throwing it away.
Now he was ready for  their next date.

Maybe. Almost.

Chapter Text

Porn with plot?
(Y/n) has female parts, but we will use gender neutral pronouns!

Cro-Marmot was freed from his ice prison accidentally by (y/n).
It didn't hit them that they had done so once the sound of ice cracking and shards had descended from the display they had their back to.

How did you do it? Your foot slipped and you head butted the protective ice hard enough for it all to shatter before you.
Showering you in a crystal rain.
As it fell, you found that a distinct stickiness and warm-wet substance trickle down your forehead.
It was your own blood from the impact of your skull to ice.
But it didn't matter now.
They could tell that Cro was in distress.
His body was shaking.
Barely to even stand, his hair was slick and wet that it stuck to his forehead.
His breathing was rugged, and you could see the wet clouds come out of his nostrils.

You noted to not to approach the marmot without caution.
So in a slow and steady walk towards the cave man, you spoke in a soft voice,
"Cro? Are you...okay?"
You lent out a hand to the marmot to touch his shoulder, but before your hand even made contact,
Cro's Calloused hand grabbed a hold of your wrist in a tight grip.
"Oh shit." You instinctively tried to pull your hand away, but it wasn't budging in his steel grip.
He pulled himself up as best as he could, and tried to look up at you.
His eye was barely peaking through his auburn hair.
You could only look in horror of what you had done, and the repercussions that you probably were about to cause.
He only stared at you.
Deeply looking into your (e/c) eyes. Heavily breathing.

You looked at his body, and noticed one thing for sure. He wasn't weak.
Maybe the struggling from before you made contact was a farce to get you to move closer.
As you stood there, Cro stood up more from his crouching posture, he towered over you by three feet.
At eye level you could see his bare chest that was covered in fur the same color that his hair was.
His shape was rocky and almost chiseled with some fat to even out the whole thing.
You had never noticed this when he was in the ice.

As he looked down at you, he finally made another move, and took a step out of the remains of his ice shield.
His eyes still locked on you.
Looking you up and down
He smiled.
But not in a friendly way, it seemed almost lustful.
Hungerly.

He growled, attempting to grab you with a meaty hand. You tried to struggle, but your body was still frozen, Still paralyzed by his figure.

And right under your chest, you could feel something hit you gently.

Looking down, you noticed his member was hardening while the tip started to glisten with pre-cum.
His breaths became more harsh, and lustful.

He picked you by the waist, and sat himself down.
Straddling you on his lap in front of his member.

You looked at him confused,
"You want me to..." was all you tried to muster up.
Cro looked at you, not responding his breathing seemingly getting heavier

You looked down at the throbbing member in front of you.
Taking it in your palms it was gigantic compared to both of your hands.
He whimpered, the touch seemed to have been starting make him more impatient.

You brought your head down and licked his tip.
It swelled and already leaking of pre come.
Running your tongue up and down the shaft you could hear the cave man moan and grunting.

Soon enough you put the tip in your mouth and started to bob your head up and down his shaft

You wanted to start a bit slow so you could get your throat used to his length, but Cro had other ideas.

His meaty hands grabbing your hair and forcing your head down.
You gagged on his cock and could almost feel bile rise up in your throat, but trying not to puke, you tried to man it up and swallow it down.

Your hands being of no help now, you just tried to keep your balance as Cro used your throat as a toy and hoped for him to climax soon.
Soon you would be out of breath.

You lost track of time, it could of been minutes that had passed, but you heard a final and struggled grunt.

This gave you the signal that he was about to finish.
With one last push he held you down on his cock and came into your mouth
Large amounts of sticky come filling your throat, you coughed and hacked as much as you could.

He seemed to have enjoyed it.
You kind of did too, only if you weren't so used.
As you coughed he picked you up in his arms and brought you into an embrace

And kissed your lips.
Licking them afterwards, you looked astonished that he even would kiss you after that whole ordeal.

Standing up, he was still carrying you in his arms, he wanted to test out his legs and surprisingly after ally of those years frozen in place, it didn't seem like he wasn't stumbling or fumbling to walk his first steps.

Chapter Text

Mime is the towns whore.
That's a title that he wears with shame, of course he would be proud of his work if he wasn't so shamed for it.
(Y/n) was also a sex worker. They met together at a corner one night.
And after a few months of working together, you've realized how much more safer you were out there when it was you two as a duo.

"Great work tonight Mime! 10 customers and 4k!"

Mime smiled back, and gave you a thumbs up.
Right now, you and him weren't that close, so he didn't speak verbally to you. Which was alright, sometimes it was kind of annoying, but still kind of cute to you.

As time passed, Mime had started to get comfortable around you, and when he spoke his first words to you, you were in awe of how adorable he voice was.
Not that it was anything to be embarrassed about, but to live up to his name you guessed that was why he kept silent.

Now to present day
Dating Mime for about a year.
(Y/n) was still working, not as much as she was a few months ago.
They all of a sudden, you've gotten sick.
Not to the point of leaving work completely, but to where you couldn't do more than a 4 hour work shift on the street.

It started right after a night with Mime.
After a routine of getting changed and stepping out into the street with your partner.
You felt nauseous, and threw yourself to the nearest trash can and threw up your lunch.
Mime, concerned came to your side and put a hand on your back.
"I'm...fine..." you say, as you panted, body shaking and legs feeling like noodles.
"Maybe we should call a cab, yes?" He whispered, only for you to decline.
"It's only a few blocks away. I'll be fine." You tried to be reassuring, but obviously Mime didn't believe you.
He felt your head and it seemed you weren't burning up, but you didn't look well.
After arriving home, mime lied you down in bed.
At that point you puked around 3 times already.
You felt so bloated too.
Your abdominal area felt sore, god what is wrong with you?

The next day, you weren't any better.
So you decided to take a trip to the doctor.
Mime had left for work, and since it being a Friday night, he knew it was essential to show up, and you knew he'd be back late.

...
It's happened.

The news. It isn't illness.
It's something else.
God...
You're pregnant.
Three weeks.
How would you have known? Missed period? Yours are irregular, so you wouldn't have noticed.
Swollen breasts? They weren't noticeable, because you're touched a lot and sex work is a lot on upper and lower body strength.
God this is the worst day of your life.
This can't be happening.
Neither of you or mime can be having a baby.
Not right now.

How are you going to tell him?
Panic rose in your chest.

On your way home, you had thought of ways to break the news to Mime.
Twiddling with the pregnancy test results in your hands.
"Hey babe! Glad ur home! Guess what? I'm pregnant!"
No, this isn't something to be happy about.
Mime isn't ready for this kind of commitment.
So you think. You know you aren't.

"Mime...you're gonna be a dad."
How will we even raise a kid with the careers we have???
We just don't have the time!
And what about the people of the town?
How will it be received when they find that the two "whores" are having a kid?
What about when that kid grows up?
How people will treat them?
Shun them as they shun you and mime.

2:00 A.M.
Mime should be home soon.
And you're wide awake.
Sick to your stomach, and just about to pass out in worry.
You fiddled with your hands and combed your hair with your fingers.
Sitting on the couch, you restlessly watched the clock tick on by and kept your eyes on the door.
Food was on the table freshly cooked and waited for them to eat together.
You held to the piece of paper that held the results.

Soon Mime came home.
He looked tired from a day of working, but when he saw you were looking a bit better, he lit up.
Giving you a kiss on the lips, you smiled back.

But both smiles had fallen.
"What's the matter, love?" He asked,
"I'm not sick." Was what you started, and Mime automatically sat next to you and stared into your eyes.
"We'll that's good, no?"
"I wish it was all it was"
In Mime's head, he was racing to guess to what had happened, was it something really serious?
Not sick? Then what happened yesterday?
There was silence between you two.
Then you broke.
"Mime... I'm pregnant." You started to tear up, handing the piece of paper in your lap.
Mime grabbed it, and read the results
Mime's expression was stunned. His mouth had dropped a bit and he froze as well his eyes widened.
"I'm sorry..." you said, wiping tears with your sleeve.
"Why sorry?" He put a hand on your face, and put his forehead to yours.
"I'm going to be a dad...." He quietly uttered.
He smiled
"You're not upset?"
"No! I can't be upset with something I contributed in! You're my love, and I'm glad I was able to even have a chance to do it with you."
He pulled you into a hug, and held tight.
Your heart leapt in joy, that Mime wasn't going to leave you, but in the back of your head, you thought of the consequences.

"So when will we know if it's boy or girl?"Mime clasped his hands together.
"We won't know for another month" you smiled.
"Then we might need some things to figure out!"
"All of of things! But before we do anything, let's eat."
You say.
You kissed Mime once more, and led him to the dining table.

'The two whores and a baby' you could see the shaming now.
God help us.

Chapter Text

He isn't the smartest, but he is the best damn dad you have.
Others worry if lumpy is bringing up (y/n) in a safe household,
Are they getting enough enrichment? Are they being homeschooled? What makes lumpy think he can raise a 10 year old kid and job hopping as much as he does?
(Y/n) has asthma, and a lot of other childhood issues, is it safe to live in a beat up trailer?

Some also straight up gossip about his parenting skills
"What is (y/n) wearing? Lumpy can't be serious. Those clothes are way too big for them!"

Some people point at (y/n) and gawk at their clothes.
they were bought new at the clothing store, but (y/n) has such a specific size, that getting a good fit was almost impossible without forking over a small fortune in Lumpy's wallet.
(y/n) didn't really care about what they said, even if it ashamed Lumpy.
you liked the baggy fit, it was almost like wearing pajamas all day.

So a size or two bigger was the best option, and besides, (y/n) is in that stage of getting their growth spirt soon, so buying more clothes won't be as often.

(y/n) is also in that stage in life where they're always sick.
despite having all of their shots, and all of their daily nutritions met.

It started one night at around four am.
(y/n) woke up from their sleep with a queasy stomach.
not being able to go to the bathroom in time, the small child threw up their dinner all over themselves.

in a panic, and half asleep (y/n) hobbled over to the other side of the trailer to their dads room and stood in the doorway.
their silhouette lit behind them with the dim light out in the livingroom.
"daddy?" (y/n) called out.
Lumpy being passed out in his bed didn't move in the slightest, until (y/n) walked over to the side of the bed where Lumpy's head was and patted at his face.
"daddy!" (y/n) whispered.
Lumpy woke up as if he had been startled, and jolted his head up.
only to relax a bit when it was only (y/n) that had woken him.
"whats a matter bud? why are you up?" Lumpy yawned
"i threw up." (y/n) sniffled, and wiped their snotty nose with their pajama sleeve.
"oh no, what happened?" Lumpy tried not to look too upset at (y/n) when all he wanted was to sleep.
and instead of that had to parent them even if he was exhausted.
"my tummy started hurting and i threw up in bed."
(y/n) said, they seemed to be better, but lumpy knew it wouldn't be the end of it.
"alright bud, lets get you cleaned up." Lumpy sighed, picking them up and taking them to their room.

(y/n) clung to Lumpy's neck, with the stickiness of their vomit covered shirt dangerously close to making contact with Lumpy's face.

Setting (y/n) on their bed Lumpy pulled a clean pair of pajamas for (y/n) and helped them get dressed and after that he threw the dirty clothes and sheets into a hamper for their next trip to the laundry mat.
the whole time, he tried not to gag at the grossness, but he really didn't want to make (y/n) feel bad about the whole ordeal. as it really wasn't their fault they got sick.

with no other clean blankets or sheets, Lumpy decided to just bring (y/n) into his bed.

placing a trash can by their side, he pointed to it.
"if you can't make it to the bathroom, use this."
he muttered,
yawning again, he jumped onto the bed and almost instantly passed right back out.

(y/n) scooted themselves close to lumpy and cuddled close.
planting a kiss on his cheek and closed their eyes
"Thank you daddy, You're the best dad ever."

Lumpy smiled, in his head it was probably the best part of being a parent.
a reminder who he is really trying to impress.