Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

乾坤一擲　（けんこんいってき）　[kenkon'itteki]
(n) play for all or nothing

There was no going back.

No other way for me to go but northeast, huh?

For the sake of protecting her family from the corrupt magistrate who brought this predicament upon them, she had taken it upon herself to take the place of Yahiko. It hadn't been as difficult as she thought it would be; using some of Inuchiyo's old clothes had worked wonders on her slim frame. The linen that she used to flatten her chest further had been to her advantage; who would have thought that her lack of abundance in that area would work in her favor someday?

A dismayed smile made its way to her face, the first she had made since the magistrate informed her that her younger brother would be sent as a poison taster to a lord of the north. It was a very risky move for her to take her brother's place, and yet…

This is the least that I can do for them.

Like every woman across the land, society made it clear that her worth only belonged in the household, whether within her own or when she married into her husband’s family. A woman was not to leave her home for reasons unrelated to the caring and nurturing of her family under any circumstances.

At least, that was what got drilled into her while growing up… yet here she was, leaving the household that she was supposed to keep in order as the eldest daughter.

Times have changed; Father was dead, and the burden of keeping the restaurant running and protecting her family fell on Yahiko's young shoulders, which he was barely able to do without Mom guiding him. As his older sister, it fell upon her to support her younger brother as much as she could.

Which means her support would go as far as impersonating him in order to protect her family.

It was the only logical choice; Yahiko would concentrate on running the restaurant until he was old enough to formally inherit it, while Mother would support him.

She, the eldest, would carry the burden that was meant for her brother to take.

That was simply the natural way of doing things, the elder taking care of the younger.

No matter what, she would not fail her family.

The farther the horse cart went up northeast, the colder it became. She had prepared for this by bundling up as best as she could, yet she still shivered from time to time. While it snowed in the Capital, the winters up north were harsher than she had initially anticipated.

Rubbing her nose to prevent it from running down her mouth, she asked the driver if they were nearing Kasugayama Castle, the place of her employment.

Upon seeing the panicked look of the older man's face, she knew something had gone wrong.

"Kasugayama?! Were you actually supposed to be in Echigo?! We passed through it a few days ago!"

She couldn't help but shout out loud. "What?!"

The driver looked scared and flustered all of a sudden at her sharp tone. "It slipped my mind! I was so focused on heading back to my hometown that I had forgotten that you were at the back of the cart! Pardon me for saying this, but you sleep like the dead and barely make a sound when you do so. I hardly felt your presence!"

She let out a foul curse, making the older man cringe. She was usually alert, even while sleeping, but the stress, combined with the weariness associated with traveling, must have knocked her out cold. It had been her carelessness that had led her to this mishap, which was why no matter how much she wanted to blame the man, she had no right nor justification to do so.

She took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm herself. "... Fine. And how long would it take for us to arrive at the nearest town?"

"Yonezawa's half a day away. We'll be there before sundown."

Hearing the name of the town made her eyes widen.

"... Our final stop is Yonezawa?"

"Yes, I hail from that area." The driver nodded, oblivious to the dread that was slowly building up within her. "Young Lord Date has inherited a few years ago, and he's been doing good to the town so far."

If the earlier debacle had not made her want to yell out in frustration, she sure did now.

Of all the places… it had to be Yonezawa, she thought angrily.

She had reached her destination when the ox cart made its way on the outskirts of a city and was told by the driver that they had arrived in Yonezawa.

It took everything in her not to further exacerbate the cold feet she was literally feeling.

She had heard of the One-Eyed Dragon of the North, a rather ruthless man who had nearly thrashed her family's restaurant when he somehow managed to get himself in a mess by brawling with the Sanada clan's second son.

With the way things were happening now in her life, it seemed like The Fates were pushing for a scenario that she wanted no part of. Not only had she gotten caught in that brawl and had her hairpin destroyed, but for her to get entangled with that man…

If it wasn't for her family, she would rather go for the other option, which was to throw herself down a cliff to escape her fate.

Of all the people she had to deal with, it had to be… him.

Now's not the time to be dramatic, she scolded herself. After she had sold her hair to gain more funds, she hardly had any money on hand, spending it mostly to feed herself and to pay the old man to get her to Oshu safely. Serving the Uesugi was now out of question, and with her heading for Date territory, she knew that she had to try and possibly beg for a job in the castle.

Hopefully, the castle can take in more poison tasters, she thought darkly as the cart made its way to the castle town.

Her somewhat simple plan had turned complicated and risky the minute it was known that she missed her stop. Frustration gnawed at her, though she knew that it was all her fault as to why she ended up in a place she'd rather not want to be at; if only she had not lacked the discipline, she would already be at Echigo, on Day 3 as a poison taster.

Then again, would going to the enemy of the Date be a better choice?

Within herself, she knew that despite her misgivings, maybe it had been a better option that she missed her stop. Kasugayama forbade women, and if they found out that "Yahiko" was actually someone else…

She sighed instead, hoping that maybe Fate was leading her to a less brutal ending that involved her head being intact.

Unconsciously, she touched her now exposed nape, as her previously long hair was now gone, as if to give thanks that her head was still intact.

The samurai are a brutal bunch, she reminded herself. Best keep your head intact.

As soon as the cart came to a halt, she thanked the old man, paid the remaining fare that she had promised, and made her way to the castle, a small sack carrying her belongings slung over her shoulder.

Another sigh escaped her lips, as if she could not be bothered to deal with this mess, and yet…

Get over yourself, she said to herself. This is what you get for messing things up.

Try as she might to drag her feet towards the castle, it wasn’t long before she arrived at the entrance and found herself staring at the imposing gates that were manned with angry-looking guards.

Glad to see at least one of them look like they’re not happy to be here, like me, she thought wryly, knowing that the next few moments would mean either mortification from rejection or reluctance to allow her in.

Either way, she had to make it work.

For her family.

Here goes nothing.

She found herself on the road again days later, albeit on horseback and accompanying the man she was serving.

… Except that she could not help but feel that there was something off.

“You are to go to Hamamatsu and serve as Lord Masamune’s poison taster during his stay.”

Katakura Kojuro, the right-hand man of the Lord of Oshu, had been the one who decreed such when she had asked that he consider employing her as the poison taster. Her argument was that the previous one had died a few days before her arrival, and with her supposed employment to Echigo now voided because she missed her stop, this was her next option.

Of course, she did not forget to emphasize that she was the one volunteering for such a dangerous task and that her services were greatly needed.

It had taken a lot of impassioned speeches from her, and just when she thought she had secured employment for her family’s safety, he said exactly that.

She could not help but ponder if that had been his plan all along, to bait her then switch the conditions of her role, but she held her tongue.

That was not the priority right now; it was to secure both lodging and employment until she figured things out.

Other than the two above conditions, there was the matter of hiding her true identity.

It was an open secret that the Lord of the Date could not stand women, and was rather curt whenever an interaction was necessary. Oshu was not as extreme as Kasugayama when it came to employing women, with the latter of the two outright banning them, but she have had the displeasure of having to deal with Lord Date when he had visited her family's restaurant in the Capital.

The man constantly frowned at her whenever she served his meals, as if he could not abide her presence.

Inwardly, she rolled her eyes at this, knowing that she had to be polite when serving customers.

Outwardly, she was nothing but hospitable, even faking some cheer in her that would make Mother proud.

Despite her tolerance to deliver the best customer experience, the samurai were seriously in need of lessons in etiquette and dealing with the common folk. The curtness made them seem rude despite the intention to portray themselves as someone who was above the commoners.

Never change, she thought spitefully.

"Yahiko, you okay?"

A soft voice jolted her back to the present, and she found herself looking at the worried apothecary's amber-colored eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay…" she shook her head, as if to clear away the thoughts. "I spaced out."

"Not at all! Ge– I mean Lord Masamune wants to take a short break, so please feel free to dismount."

Aha.

She let it slide and feigned ignorance at the near slip. "I'm alright to stay on the horse."

The apothecary nodded. "Understood. I'll be attending Lord Masamune as Lord Kojuro isn't with us."

'Come to think of it… why does the man I am accompanying have silver hair?'

The Lord of the Date she remembered back from the restaurant had dark-green hair.

And, to her surprise, the apothecary accompanying them to Hamamatsu was a woman.

Not that she found it weird.

It was simply because she could not help but notice how the leader of the Date and the apothecary sat rather close to one another, which was odd. For a man whose immense dislike for women was well known even as far as the Capital, they were both talking and… well, it was hard to miss the blush that appeared all of a sudden on the apothecary's face while the man himself was subtly smirking.

'This man is not the real Lord Date.' was her conclusion she arrived at.

Still, she'd play along.

In the end, it was all about survival.

Whoever that man was who was playing as the Lord of the Date, she'd rather not provoke him.

'Oshu hires ninja now?'

It wouldn't be surprising; Owari most likely had theirs, as well as Mikawa.

‘Echigo…’ She shuddered to think that the Uesugi’s nokizaru would kill her as soon as the Uesugi found out that "Yahiko" was a woman.

Grimacing inwardly, she took the bamboo canteen tied at her waist and took a sip. Her mouth and throat felt dry and her hands were shaking; was it from nervousness at the thought of getting found out?

Calm down, she scolded herself. You've been acting for the past several years and have staked your life on it. The family's peace and security are dependent on your performance. Pull yourself together!

"Yahiko?"

She found herself looking down at the apothecary.

"Sorry, would you be able to get some water for Lord Masamune?"

She found herself nodding. "Of course." Dismounting from the horse, she took the bamboo canteen handed over to her and found herself walking away from the party.

Now, where was that spring?

"Didn't that guy say he was the son of a cook from the Capital?"

Maaya of the Mitsuba found herself looking back at where her childhood friend, who was playing the role of the Lord of Oshu, was sitting.

"Yes, he did… anything wrong?" For Gen-chan to be even frowning slightly at their new poison taster was a rather strange sight.

Forever dismissed as a laid-back, good-for-nothing elder twin of the (in)famous Fujibayashi ninja clan, she knew his worth and how he was the type to always downplay his skills. Nevertheless, she played along, knowing that Gen-chan was all too happy to spend his days playing the role of a lazy, unassuming commoner.

"... Rather smooth for a cook to dismount from a horse without even staggering from that height, yeah?" came the lazy drawl.

"Has he said that he has never ridden a horse?" She found herself asking.

He nodded. "They gave him basic riding lessons, but he's taking this whole horse riding thing rather smoothly. I heard from Kojuro that Yahiko was born and raised in the capital… and not a son of farmers." [1]

She felt her eyes widen slightly at the implication.

For Gen-chan to notice such a detail, it was cause for concern.

Gen continued. "I'd think he was the reason why we suddenly got sent to Mikawa on short notice." meaning, Kojuro wanted them to keep an eye on the newcomer who volunteered to be a poison taster.

Rather strange to be so enthusiastic for the very position, knowing that every day, there was a chance one could die from getting poisoned.

"I'll keep an eye on him." She offered.

"Don't push yourself too hard." Gen yawned before slumping against the tree behind him.

It alarmed her how his eyes slightly narrowed in controlled anger. "I'll dispose of him if needed."

Gen-chan…

It was not even a threat, but a promise.

She sighed to herself, wondering if the newcomer from the Capital was a threat or a harmless young man who was simply beside himself with serving the Date.

Maaya vowed to give him the benefit of the doubt, yet knew that if Yahiko turned out to be an assassin, she had to do her duty as a member of the Mitsuba, which was to exterminate anyone who would try to harm the lord she served.

‘Nothing personal, Yahiko. The Mitsuba will always stand by the Date, so if you’re not what you seem… I’ll be sad to see you go.’

Clenching her fists, she made her decision.

She hoped that Yahiko was simply an unassuming son of a cook from the Capital, and not the threat that Gen-chan thought he was.

Chapter Text

前途多難 （ぜんとたなん）　[zentotanan]
(n, na-adj) having a long, hard fight ahead

To say that the Lord of the Date was not worried over the current situation was an understatement.

While his personality and outward demeanor suggested otherwise, he could not help but ponder if he made the correct decision involving his subjects, in particular, the two ninja that the Date employed.

While he was confident that Genya would be able to do the mission that had been tasked to him, Maaya was another case. Women weren't particularly high on the list of individuals he could trust, but the apothecary was important to both the clan and Genya himself, even if his kagemusha acted otherwise. Childhood friends they may be, the silver-haired ninja treated her rather delicately.

At least, that's how he perceived it; he hardly had been given the chance to interact with women as he chose to avoid the ones that he was not close to, but he knew that Maaya was someone special to the elder Fujibayashi twin.

That, and Maaya was a skilled apothecary and was trusted by both Kojuro and Shigezane.

If his two most trusted retainers trusted her, he knew he could do so as well.

Although for this particular mission, he could not help but worry, especially since it had been a rather abrupt plan that Kojuro concocted. The Tokugawa did want to meet with them, and just when they were ready to finally reveal the real Date Masamune after the many instances of having Genya meet up with them, Kojuro had sent Genya instead… all because the castle had a new poison taster named Yahiko in their midst.

He had yet to meet Yahiko, as Kojuro had deemed him ‘suspicious’ for even wanting to volunteer as a poison taster, which was why the young man was sent alongside Genya and Maaya to Mikawa.

“If he really is a threat to the Date, then Genya can simply dispose of him while he is out on a mission.”

The way his retainer casually phrased the term had made his eyebrows rise but did not comment on it. The older man had always been a bit too protective of him, stemming from a habit back when he was a mere child, and had deemed anyone who was a threat to his safety an object of assassination. With Genya now exclusively working for the Date, and with enough coin and motivation, his body-double had been easy enough to convince to take care of the suspected assassin.

Still, he wondered why Yahiko had volunteered to be a poison tester.

Was it because he was also in need of coin to help his family?

If he was no threat and had passed Genya’s “evaluation”, then maybe…

“Lord Masamune?”

He looked up from his writing table and found Kojuro crouched low; was he concentrating too hard that he did not hear the knock on his door? “Kojuro.” he acknowledged.

“Genya and Maaya have just reached the farthest border post in our territory and will be entering the Hojo clan’s borders by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. They will be back before the New Moon.”

Two weeks… Assuming that the Tokugawa won’t keep the both of them for too long, and only if Yahiko does not cause any trouble, then they would both be back before the next Full Moon.

The Tokugawa clan’s ancestral domain of Okazaki had been the agreed place for the meeting, a far off location from Oshu, and while he had been bracing himself for the inevitable chance to meet with the Tokugawa Ieyasu, it had also been a relief that he did not have to set foot in their new allies’ territories; call it being paranoid, but he would rather meet with the Lord of the Tokugawa at Hamamatsu where they were nearer to their allies.

The Hojo would definitely not hesitate to help them as long as it gave them an excuse to pick a fight with the Tokugawa. [1]

“Genya should update us if there are any… changes .”

Kojuro nodded in agreement. “He will let us know.”

He found himself placing down the book he was reading on the desk in front of him. “... Rare of you to reschedule a trip, which was planned in advance, and summon both Genya and Maaya on such short notice just to determine if Yahiko is a dangerous individual.”

“One can never be too careful.” the sternness in the older man’s tone had made him wistful for a moment, remembering how the younger version of himself had been nearly reduced to tears when the once carefree and lackadaisical right-hand man had changed his hairstyle one day and decided to get serious in teaching him in preparation to be the future head of the Date.

“I understand that, but…” he felt a sigh escape his lips before continuing, “I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t relieved that I wouldn’t be able to go.” newly reinstated as the clan head after his father’s retirement had made him hesitate on taking on bigger challenges and had been rather conservative in wanting to do more for the clan.

Brokering the alliance for the Tokugawa had been the biggest accomplishment so far, and that also meant he had to reach for greater heights… which he doubted he could do, given that the alliance was fragile as of now. He had yet to meet Tokugawa Ieyasu himself, and so far, all they could do was send a ninja in his stead.

As if reading his mind, his senior retainer commented, “You will need to travel to the Tokugawa territories and meet them halfway at some point.” Kojuro reminded him. “The sooner we can handle this… interruption, the sooner we can also meet Lord Tokugawa.”

“You’re right.” he nodded absentmindedly, turning his head downwards at the book in front of him. “Let’s hope Genya and Maaya make it back safely.”

“You should not worry too much.” 

It was unheard of for the lord of the clan to be that worried over his retainers. Even he knew of the irrationality of it, as men of his position saw them as pawns and cast-offs once their usefulness had been utilized, but he saw the two of them as individuals he could trust. They may not have a close relationship like Shigezane and Kojuro, but anyone who had earned his confidence was someone he would care deeply for.

Stay safe, both of you.

Masamune then nodded his head slowly, knowing that all he could do for now was wait.

A high-pitch sneeze escaped both her nose and mouth.

Someone talking badly about me?

After getting the aforementioned water from a clean stream, which she handed over to the lady apothecary, off further west they went, stopping at a lodging inn for the night.

Three separate rooms were booked, yet in the middle of the night, she found herself waking up to voices talking behind the wall to her right.

In her groggy state, she managed to remember that the Lord of Oshu was in that room, and then…

"G-Gen-chan, we're on a mission...!"

Aha.

Her suspicions were confirmed: the man with her was acting as a body double for the man she was supposed to serve.

Were both him and the apothecary somehow part of a ninja clan?

She would not be surprised if that was the case; ninja sometimes had to be a kagemusha for the person they were working for, and whoever this 'Gen-chan' was, he sure was doing a good job.

… While on the clock, that is.

Now that he was off the clock, well, it looked like he thought that he didn’t have to act the part.

While that shouldn't be much of a problem behind closed doors, the walls have ears.

Or, in this case, the walls were thin enough that she could hear every single conversation, as well as rather intense responses from the female who was inside “Gen-chan’s” room.

No doubt they were doing other things than talk, and for the first time in years, she felt her face and neck flaming.

… Not that there was something to be ashamed of, given that she herself had had to go through this flight of fancy at one point in her life, but still, it was unnerving to hear it.

‘At least they’re both happy.’ "Yahiko" thought darkly to herself. 

Despite the noise and the anxiety she felt, it seemed that she was still exhausted enough to the point of managing to fall asleep, only to be woken up when the apothecary knocked at her door, asking if she wanted to have a small meal before leaving the inn, to which she accepted.

After tasting the meal for any trace of poison (thankfully, there was none), throughout the meal, she kept to herself, using the chopsticks to feed herself the meal before her, and occasionally taking a sip from the bowl containing tepid miso soup. To her mild amusement, the apothecary looked rather tired, while the man playing as Lord Masamune tried his best to look aloof, although she noticed that he subtly stole glances at the other woman.

“Lady apothecary.” she called out to the short-haired woman.

“Please, call me Maaya.”

She nodded in affirmation upon hearing that Maaya wished to be called by her name. “Are you alright? You look rather exhausted.”

While it had not been her intention to embarrass the poor woman by pointing out the obvious, she was still petty enough to subtly let them know that yesterday night’s antics were unacceptable .

Traveling to the northeast had been an exhausting feat, and just when she thought she could look forward to some rest, she was sent packing back to the western part of the country because the Lord of the Date required a poison taster.

'How petty of Katakura Kojuro to set this up.' she thought angrily, knowing that one of the more senior Date retainers had a hand in indirectly torturing her .

Unsurprisingly, Maaya went bright red. “Oh, w-well… I-I was working on grinding some herbs for Lord Masamune late last night. He was… running out of… medicine, you see.”

Sipping her bowl to hide a smile, she, who was impersonating her brother Yahiko, set down the bowl and faced the apothecary. “You are invaluable to the lord and falling ill would cause some problems for His Lordship. Please don’t work yourself too hard.” she stole a quick glance at the silver-haired man, who had an eye aimed in their general direction, and gave him a knowing smile. “Especially when one has to grind oh so thoroughly for His Lordship’s sake .”

Pretending to not see Maaya’s face flame further after the innuendo, she said, “Thank you very much for the meal.” she pressed her palms together to say her thanks. “Please give me some time to pack my items before we go on with the rest of our journey to Okazaki.”

To her surprise, after she cleaned up after herself, a group of men arrived to meet them at the inn. One of them, a man whose smile was as bright as the sun in the sky, introduced himself.

"You must be Yahiko! I'm Date Shigezane, Masa's cousin." he said, gesturing to his silver-haired "cousin" using his chin.

She nodded her head at the cheerful man grinning at her. "It is nice to meet you, Your Lordship."

"Aww, look at you all so proper! Just 'Shigezane' is fine!" If it was possible . "Don't need to be so formal with me."

All she could do was smile weakly at the man, not trusting herself to say anything further.

Throughout their journey, Date Shigezane had made it all the more bearable, striking up conversations whenever possible. A member of the Date clan wanting to know about the poison taster was rather unusual, but it looked as if the man was approachable, despite being a samurai. The ones she had encountered from the Capital had been shamelessly arrogant, but the cousin of the clan head was the exact opposite.

"So you have an older sister and a mother waiting for you back in the Capital." Shigezane remarked. "Must be tough."

"They are aware of what needs to be done." She did leave a letter for them to read before she left, and while she knew that would never be enough, it had been the only choice she had at that time.

Yahiko should never take on such a burden, and such burden should only be taken up by his older sister, meaning, herself.

"So grown up." At this, the samurai ruffled the top of her short hair, messing it up. “Despite all of this, I hope you’d find it in your heart to proudly serve the Date."

She guessed that chopping off her locks had been worth it in the end, as Date Shigezane has noticed nothing unusual as of now. Although she found her hair to be a tad too short for her liking, even if it was slightly thicker and longer than Yahiko's usual style, at least it had been passable in the eyes of the man.

As long as her hair helped pass herself off as her brother, then it was all that matters.

Hair would grow back.

Her family's restaurant, once seized by that evil magistrate, would be difficult to get back.

She felt her gaze narrow at the thought of that monster getting what he wanted; there was no way she would ever allow it to happen, although she stopped short at saying 'over her dead body'.

'I definitely would like to stay alive and help out my family, thank you very much.' She thought sarcastically to herself, annoyed at the fact that she even thought of sacrificing herself for a mere magistrate .

She gave a noncommittal shrug. “I do what I can, Your Lordship.”

“Didn’t I just say you can call me ‘Shigezane’?” he grinned cheekily. “Come on now, Yahiko, lighten up.”

Once again, she chose not to say anything, instead staring straight ahead at the plots of land before them, and noting the position of the sun as their horses galloped to their destination.

Before long, they would have to get themselves into an inn, and she would have to keep her guard up, especially since their numbers have increased. Not only did she have to be on her guard with the kagemusha , but even Date Shigezane, despite his jovial demeanor, was someone she had to be careful with, especially if she wanted to keep her head intact.

She raised her eyes heavenward and silently called out to any listening deity.

Let me survive until I come back to the Capital. Please.