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"I'll always be here to pull you back."
The press of soft lips glided across his body. They touched the curves of his muscles, traced the veins that rested underneath his skin, and rested on his chest over his fluttering heart. It was like those plush lips were trying to memorize those parts of him, commit him to memory, like he was something important. His hold around her waist tightened.
It felt electrifying. It was exciting. Different. Foreign.
A year ago, he would have said he couldn't remember the last time he was touched by someone who had no intention to hurt him. He'd been beaten and thrown around for too many years; it was pain that he had associated with touch. Sera, though, had reintroduced him to humility. Her grip around his wrist never left aching, splotchy purples or black. Her playful punches never broke bones or left him sore for days. Her soft nudges in public never left him biting his tongue in an effort to stay quiet and not draw attention to himself. They were on equal ground.
Did he really deserve something this precious?
A light nip to his neck brought him out of his thoughts.
"You left. Stop thinking. Just focus on me."
And he did. How could he not? Seraphina was consuming him.
She hovered slightly above him, straddling his waist, resuming her mapping of his body. Her mouth left a trail of fire in its wake, and he couldn't help but squirm as the trail went lower and lower. He was unraveling. Seraphina's display was taking him apart piece by piece, breaking down his walls. It was getting harder to contain himself. This was dangerous.
When her path was eventually blocked by the waist band of his shorts, she looked up at him.
"What do you want?"
His chest was just short of heaving, his breaths hitching with each inhale. He was trembling from the effort to stay still. What did he want? Everything. He'd let her do anything she wanted to him. And he wanted everything she was willing to give him.
But that was the problem wasn't it? After all he had done, why did she want this? He would understand it if she would rather yell at him, scream in his face for causing her heart break, for lying to her. Instead, she spoke with her voice low, only giving him reassurances and praise. He would understand if she wanted to hit him, inflict the same pain he imposed on so many others; however, all he received were firm touches with the intention to bring him pleasure. It was almost unthinkable. Never in a million years would he have thought she would ever want to do this with him.
Her hand had made its way into his hair while he was thinking. When she tugged, it sent a jolt down his spine that left him gasping.
"John."
Right.
Her hand moved from his hair to cup his face.
"Tell me."
He took a moment to consider his conflicting thoughts. His first instinct was to flip them around and return the favor tenfold. To give give give until he couldn't anymore- it was what she deserved. To succumb to that part of him was tempting because it was easy. He could do that for the rest of his life. But he knew she wouldn't let that fly. Sera made it very clear that he was the focus of tonight. She wanted him to both surrender himself and take what he wanted from her.
In a way, that was terrifying.
John liked this, he really did. Sera's tender commands and touches made his body buzz with arousal. He wanted more, but giving in would mean being naked in a way that wasn't only physical. It would mean completely trusting her. He would be trusting her with his heart. If she ever changed her mind about this, he wasn't sure he would survive it. Seraphina was asking for everything, and by the sparkling hope in her eyes, she knew this.
Deep down he already knew what choice he would make. She stayed despite all his flaws. Pulled him out of his spiky, protective shell after he hid away when some days were too much. Held him when his guilt chipped away at his mind. She always pulled him back. And above all she trusted him. Trusted him with her feelings, fears and insecurities, her dreams and desires. She laid everything out on the table for him; she was just waiting for him to do the same.
John had eased his way into her life and changed it for the better, now she was giving him an opportunity to take what he needs and change his own.
He released a shaky breath and uttered a measly "you" into the dim room. It was barely audible, and the admission made him flush a darker red that spread from his face to his chest. He knew it was vague and probably sounded pathetic, but it was a start, a new beginning for the both of them. Her smile told him she was aware of that too.