Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It didn’t matter how they got here, or why they found themselves in such a precarious situation. Penelope had been laying on her side peering over to catch a glimpse of the video playing on her friend’s tablet, Colin behind her on the 4’ by 6’ bed; the two laying so close. Pressed right up against one another and their fingers overlapping under the brown fleece blanket covering just them two. Unintentional closeness on Penelope’s part. She couldn’t speak for her best friend’s brother. 

They had been in close proximity before - many almosts before - but nothing so intimate as sharing a bed and the obliteration of personal space. 

Whatever was playing kept the group of four entertained. Three sets of eyes glued to the screen; a rogue set of courageous sage contemplating the auburn haired girl next to him instead. This was as close as they had ever been. 

So Colin began testing the waters. 

His rough forefinger began tracing patterns over the soft skin at the top of her hand. Circles. Figure eights. Light affection pouring into the dips of her knuckles. Warm breath purposefully flitting from his lips, set to meet the shell of her ear and caressing down her neck. She’d squirm in response. Her senses aflame yet egging him further on. Colin’s left hand then trailed up her arm and back down, from her fingertips and, boldly, venturing off course to the swell of her tight jean-clad hip. His right arm inconspicuously inching its way under her head, divinely cradling her with his palm at her chest. 

Penelope had to bite back gasps as he continued his wanton ministrations across her body. Her mind was beginning to fog and newly-straightened teeth sunk into the inside of her lip to keep her grounded to reality. This is Colin and they are friends. Her dark azure eyes heavy-lidded and concentrating on the glow of the screen illuminating two others so close by. 

Penelope had had fantasies of what it would be like to call Colin hers. The two had been doing a delicate dance between balancing their friendship expectations and navigating these new and clandestine feelings that have been brewing for the last few months. This certainly was not how she ever envisioned or imagined their first escapade going. Though she certainly wasn’t going to call it quits. Penelope wasn’t going to risk the wait of another few months for something to more transpire - at any moment they would ruin this. Just like they’ve done many times before.  

Somehow, some way, through the discreet and captivated wriggling, she found herself laying upon Colin. Chest to chest. Nothing between them but flimsy clothing, and a blanket shielding their warm bodies from the others.  

The videos kept playing and neither were attentive to anything other than their racing hearts keeping time. Penelope kept her eyes on their friends, an excuse for their compromising position sitting at the tip of her tongue, readied like a sniper’s bullet. 

Colin had other ideas for their use of time and place: to make the most of this rare moment alone with the girl he had been heavily flirting with for over a year. With the girl he had a running bet with. With the girl whose mind and sensibilities were so wild and enchanting. With the girl he has wanted for longer than he could remember. 

Under the cover of fleece, Colin’s soft hands began to wander further than just the soft alabaster of her arms. Wandering the places he spent many hours wondering - dreaming - about. 

His fingers slipped under her top to trace deliberate, pulse quickening patterns on the skin of her back before moving lower. 

And lower. 

And passed the elastic of her cotton underwear.  

Penelope had to stifle a light gasp. 

Colin ceased all movements immediately. His inexperienced hands still. Waiting. Could he really have read her signals all wrong? 

Her mind started racing. Here? Now?  

This was more than Penelope Featherington bargained for. 

She glanced over at their friends - still munching on popcorn and blissfully unaware of the sacchariferous vexing going down. Her heart gave her mind a run for its money. What does he think he’s doing? 

It’s now or maybe never. 

With her small hands, Penelope grabbed a fistful of his bright-white tee. 

Colin was about to retract his hands and his audacious plan completely when she, ever so invitingly, moved up his body and rolled her hips against his just once. Shallow and uncertain, yet all the encouragement he needed. Colin bit the inside of his lip to keep the bright smile from breaking their cover as he continued to roam and discover her supple body. He began committing her womanly curves to memory. This was his shot to indulge his mild curiosities, and who knows when they would be able to do this again? 

Penelope rested her frazzled head in the crook of his neck, one eye tasked with keeping look out. She’d never been so thankful for a blanket and their friends’ oblivious tendencies in her life. 

Colin and Penelope weren’t dating. They weren’t anything but two late-teens who liked to flirt and keep one another company late into the night. They had deep, thoughtful conversations in the same breath as challenges and sexual innuendos. There was never a lack of conversation between them. 

But there was a lack of communication. Neither were willing to break barriers and admit their feelings out loud. Neither willing to ruin whatever delicate dance they found themselves endlessly twirling to when no one was watching. 

They were complicated.   

Colin’s hips gradually thrusted up to coax her legs open; nudging them apart with a roll of his leg when she was taking a little too long to respond to his desire. Penelope was settled on him, pelvis to pelvis and she could feel his want between them. His hands spent so much time massaging her butt and pressing her into him. Pleasure coursing through him with every bit of added pressure. Yet he hadn’t gotten a single reaction from her, aside from a few deep breaths. Colin knew he needed to change tactics. His firm fingers started dancing into dangerous territory beneath her clothes; trailing over her round hip and snaking between their bodies.  

Penelope bit down on her tongue. Her body responded before she even could process the sensation even she herself had barely explored. Her hips rolled forwards the second he found her most sensitive spot, begging for more friction. Needing it in ways she couldn’t comprehend. Her eyes shut tight, face nuzzling further into the soft cologne-soaked skin of his neck. 

Jackpot. Colin smiled to himself. 

The pads of his deft fingers moved in tantalizing circles over her clit causing Penelope to grind into him faster. Harder. Purposefully. Without foresight. With his free hand Colin had to grip her hips tightly to keep from rousing the others’ to their nefarious act. He did all he could to steady her while also keeping pace, keeping her body responding to him in ways he’d only ever heard about before. In ways he finally had the courage to explore. She felt so good in his arms and pressed up against him, and his fingers were gliding in her wetness, and he could faintly hear the moans she tried desperately to swallow, and those little keens had him wishing they were alone, so he could feel the rest of her and she could feel him and...

And... 

And... 

Her breathing became ragged, one of her hands moving willfully to press three regulating fingers to her mouth, and she couldn’t think straight. Something awoke deep within her, and she needed him more than she’d ever needed anyone before. 

She couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Oh my god...” the whispered words tumbled against the shell of his ear. 

She didn’t mean to say it. She wasn’t planning on uttering a single word. Penelope was too lost in the confusion and pleasure building within her that the words just slipped out.  

“What?” Colin whispered confidently, curiously, like he knew what he was doing to her.

His husky voice jolted Penelope back into sensibility. 

They shouldn’t be doing this.
There are other people in the room.
He’s Eloise’s brother.
They couldn’t be anything. 

She released her grip on his shirt and willed her body to seize all lecherous responses.

“Nothing.” 

Penelope averted his gaze, hiding her shameful lust on his shoulder.

Chapter Text

It ended like it never happened. Floated away into oblivion as the others toddled downstairs to the kitchen or den or somethingorother - Pen’s mind still too muddled to understand fully what was going on around them. 

She stood in front of someone else’s vanity mirror trying to put herself back together. Pulled her jeans back up, rubbed imaginary creases from her thighs. Rightened her bra and her top. And fiddled with her hair too much - taking it down from the messy bun it was in, combing her fingers through the errant curls, putting it back up and repeating thrice as the adrenaline and nerves slowly drain from her bloodstream. 

All the while Colin stood in the bedroom doorway watching her keen and conflicting eyes. He couldn’t make heads nor tails of their situation, and from her body language and deep breaths he knew she couldn’t either. 

She met his eyes in the mirror. 

“Let’s go,” he softly spoke, the words just for her ears and quite nearly a question. 

For the longest moment, Pen didn’t move. Her eyes shut and she let out a gust of air. 

Colin was about to ask her if she’s alright and apologize for his actions. His heart clenched at seeing her in so much distress. All because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. 

But then she turns. And before the words can manifest off his tongue Penelope is walking towards him - long deliberate strides her short legs would allow. 

She’s standing before him, not as close as before but closer than proprietary would allow, peering up with dark determined eyes. It stokes a fire within him to see her so quickly confident for whatever reason. Before he could think too much on the inner workings of his best friend’s mind, his parted mouth is occupied.

Delicate lips barely brush against his. He feels their softness against his own. Can taste the faint hint of sea salt popcorn. They aren’t moving. And it’s over too quickly. 

Much too quickly. 

And she’s brushing past him towards the staircase to join the others. Moving quicker than he’d like. 

Colin grabs her by the wrist, tugging her back to him - to look at him because she hasn’t seen him all evening. If she’d just look she’d know. 

“I-” she starts and stops when the heat of his gaze meets her own. 

“A kiss is for two people,” he all but growls as he pulls her back in to kiss her properly. 

Penelope Featherington isn’t Colin Bridgerton’s first kiss - that trophy belongs to Olivia Trowbridge - but she’s his first real kiss. The kind of kiss that sets every nerve in your body alight, has your toes curling, has your hands cradling and wanting for every bit of her, has your arms wrapping around the other person holding them tight to your body and that closeness still isn’t close enough. 

They twine and move together until air becomes essential. 

Then, they break away before anyone could find them compromisingly together. 

Chapter Text

It ended like it never happened. Floated away into oblivion as the others toddled downstairs to the kitchen or den or somethingorother - Pen’s mind still too muddled to understand fully what was going on around them. With them. What the last forty minutes meant. 

Penelope stood in front of someone else’s vanity mirror trying to put herself back together. Pulled her jeans back up, rubbed imaginary creases from her thighs. Rightened her bra and her top. And fiddled with her hair too much - taking it down from the messy bun it was in, combing her fingers through the errant curls, putting it back up and repeating thrice as the adrenaline and nerves slowly drain from her bloodstream. 

All the while Colin stood in the bedroom doorway watching her with keen and conflicting eyes. He couldn’t make heads nor tails of their situation. And from the way she was standing so far away and not chancing a glance his way, he settled on the worst. 

He watched Pen stare at herself for minutes upon minutes, hanging in the silence between them. Noted her deep regulatory breaths and the way her arms went limp at her sides. Noticed as she started moving backwards. Step by short step until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and her body flops down with a long huff. 

Penelope sprawled out on the bed. Her arms extended out on either side of her like the wings of an angel. Her blue eyes closed and the hem of her shirt bearing her abdomen. Her lips pressed tight in contemplation. 

“Everything okay?” he asks, still rooted at the open door. 

“Mm,” Pen hums without commitment. 

Then, she speaks. 

“My mind is racing.” 

And it’s like a beacon. 

Colin moves towards her until he’s standing, almost pressing, his legs to hers. Feeling his presence, Pen’s hands immediately fly to tug her top back down. Saying Colin didn’t notice her insecurity was an understatement. For he happily caught her hands in both of his. Her eyes shot open. All Colin Bridgerton could do was smile that charming, crooked and boyish smile as he tugged Penelope into a sitting position. 

The way she looked up at him with those dazzling inquisitive eyes had Colin’s heart skipping beats the longer they held one another’s gaze. 

In place of that fourth beat his hand settled at the back of her neck. His thumb at her jaw, keeping her head tilted up. He leaned down and captured her pretty pink lips between his.  

Colin Bridgerton kissed Penelope Featherington for the first time. 

And it was glorious. 

None of his fantasies of this moment could ever compare to this.  

This isn’t Colin’s first kiss - that trophy belongs to Olivia Trowbridge - but Penelope is his first real kiss. The kind of kiss that sets every nerve in his body alight, has his toes curling, has himself settled between her legs and his hands cradling and wanting for every bit of her. Has her arms wrapping around his neck holding him tight to her body, and that closeness still isn’t close enough. He feels every bit of her. Tastes the sea salt and butter lingering in the creases of her mouth.  

They twine and move together until air becomes essential. 

They let go of one another with chests heaving and silly little simpers gracing their features, and Colin and Penelope just look at each other. So much still unsaid between them. 

“Let's go,” he says as he takes a step back.

Back into reality.  

Chapter Text

It ended like it never happened. Floated away into oblivion as the others toddled downstairs to the kitchen or den or somethingorother - Pen’s mind still too muddled to understand fully what was going on around them. With them. What the last forty minutes meant. 

He’s Eloise’s brother. 

Penelope stood in front of someone else’s vanity mirror trying to put herself back together. Pulled her jeans back up, rubbed imaginary creases from her thighs. Rightened her bra and her top. And fiddled with her hair too much - taking it down from the messy bun it was in, combing her fingers through the errant curls, putting it back up and repeating thrice as the adrenaline and nerves slowly drain from her bloodstream. 

All the while Colin stood in the bedroom doorway watching her every motion. 

She could feel him staring at her. His gaze prickling her skin and doing nothing to ease her nerves. So she’ll do her hair once more. Taking deeper breaths to regulate herself and the unease she’s feeling around him. For the longest moment, Pen doesn’t move - physically, mentally her thoughts are somersaulting into a tornado. 

Did it mean anything? 

She most certainly wouldn’t let anyone this close. And yet… 

His soft spoken command reaches her ears, “C’mon, let’s go.” Pulls Penelope out of her imminent thoughts but does nothing to dissuade her worries. 

She stops fiddling with her appearance. Her eyes finally meet his in the mirror.  

But just as quickly as they met, her eyes shut and she let out a gust of air. 

Colin was about to ask her if she’s alright and apologize for his actions. His heart clenched at seeing her in so much distress. She hasn’t looked at him - properly looked at him - since this whole thing began. 

But then she turns. And before the words can manifest off his tongue Penelope is walking towards him - strides as long and deliberate as her short legs would allow. Colin is rooted in the doorway watching and waiting for her next move. 

She’s brushing against him, her body not as close as before but closer than proprietary would allow. Her ocean eyes glued to the floor as she moves. 

Colin tries to reach for her but she’s quick. Fleeing from the room and him faster than can be. 

And all Colin is left with is the faint smell of her strawberry shampoo and a lingering urge to be with her. 

While plaguing Penelope’s whole being is guilt, confusion and a pinch of anxiety making her feel like a terribly wicked friend.