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Chapter Text

Crow swayed as a sense of vertigo hit him hard, his hand reaching out unsteadily to keep himself from falling, and landing upon cold, harsh stone. His eyes flew open then, already telling himself to not let himself hope, that the voice that he had heard in his head, was nothing more than his imagination and wishful thinking. He couldn't help the gasp of disbelief that hit him when instead of Rean's grave marker, his grandfather's memorial rested beneath his hand; the sound and scent of the sea, suddenly filling his nose along with the scent of freshly turned dirt and grass smell that had haunted him from where he had last been, crouched in that one corner of Himmel Cemetery in Heimdallr.  

Vaguely Crow thought he could hear others speaking to him, their voices fading into silence as he remained silent, but he could not bring himself to care. He stared down at his hand, his much smaller hand that held none of the scars and marks that he knew should be there. He pulled his arm back, the movement shifting something upon his back, a quick glance thrown over his shoulder, revealing a familiar backpack that Crow hadn't thought of in years, resting against his spine.  

Inside, Crow knew, there were all of the things he had once held dear to him.  

There was the little figurine of a fishing boat that his grandfather had bought for him for a birthday long ago, the paint faded and worn from the numerous times that he had played in the water with it. There were the few framed pictures that Crow couldn't bring himself to discard, to leave in the past as he had the rest of his belongings, even though he couldn't even remember half of the people captured within the photos. His Grandfather's favourite book was tucked safely away in the folds of his bag; Crow remembering fondly how the old man would sit him upon his knee and read to him when he had been younger, before the pressures of work had pulled him away from such relaxing pastimes and all Crow had been left with was an empty armchair, the worn book in his own small hands and the memories of easier times.  

There was the misshapen lump that Stark had given to him for his birthday several years ago, the younger boy having spent hours making the model, claiming it to be one of the super heroes from the books Crow used to read to him. Hidden amongst everything else, rolled up in a piece of cloth, there was a gold chain; two rings hanging from it. They were his parents wedding rings, returned to his grandfather upon their deaths as part of their belongings; now taken by Crow as the last reminder of the two people who had brought him into this world.  

All in all, it wasn't much really, and Crow mentally cursed and chastised his younger self for being a fool and not even thinking to pack clothes or food before he ran off on his hair-brained revenge trip. No wonder he had struggled and starved until Cayenne had picked him up; no wonder he'd been so easily swayed by the promise of power and revenge. Not that he could blame his foolish decisions solely upon all of that; he'd been a pretty headstrong and gullible idiot back then too. He was honestly surprised that he hadn't gotten himself killed or worse, in that brief time alone.  

Crow shook his head at his past self, unable to comprehend just how foolish he had really been. All of his worldly possessions held together in a barely serviceable bag, that had been stolen less than a month after he had fled from Jurai.  

He could still remember the despair that he had felt on that day, returning to his little hideaway to find that it had been torn apart, his things missing and the small amount of mira he had managed to collect, taken. Even then though, he'd known he had been lucky that he wasn't present when his things were taken, lest he be just as easily taken or traded as his belongings had been. After that, Crow had grown more cautious and wary, but life had been hard still.  

“Crow? Crow, are you ok?” A small, unsure voice coming from beside his elbow drew Crow back to the present, his gaze rising from his hand to meet the soft brown gaze of the boy beside him. “What are you going to do now? You're....you're not going to leave Jurai are you?”  

No...no this time Crow wouldn't leave Jurai; wouldn't run away and fall prey to mindless revenge and hatred. This time Crow wouldn't let himself become a fool, wouldn't let Rean sacrifice himself in a desperate bid to stop him from ruining his life. He'd asked for, wanted, demanded a second chance and he had been given it. To keep Rean alive, to make things better, and Crow would be damned if he screwed things up again this early on.  

“I don't know what I'm going to do Stark.” Crow offered the younger boy a wan smile, his eyes looking aged beyond his thirteen years. “But I promise you I won't leave Jurai. Not that I have anywhere else to go anyway. You think your folks would mind putting up with me until I work something out?”  

“I'm sure they won't mind you staying with us for however long you need Crow. Even if you wanted to stay with us forever.” Stark smiled up at him reassuringly. “You're practically family after all, big brother.”  

Crow felt his breath hitch at the title, a smile tugging at his lips as he reached out his hand and ruffled Stark's hair gently. He'd almost forgotten how much the younger boy had looked up to him, almost forgotten how the boy and his parents had almost been like a second family to him. Crow had been too mired in his anger and blinded by his need to seek revenge, that he had forgotten that others had been affected by the loss of Jurai's Mayor too. He wouldn't let himself forget that this time.  

“Come on then, let's go ask your parents then, shall we?”  

Crow felt warmth fill his chest as Stark trustingly slipped his small hand into his own, tugging him away from his grandfather's grave and back out into the bustling street. The pair walked hand in hand until they reached the large building, the house fronted by the store they run, slipping in through a side door and heading towards the residential half of the building.  

An older woman looked up as Stark pushed through the door, leading an almost reluctant Crow in behind him, already talking a mile a minute to her amusement.  

“Slow down Stark, I can barely understand a word you've just said.” She smiled fondly down at her son, turning her warmth upon Crow as he slunk further into the room. She stepped forwards then, pulling him towards her and holding his arms tightly, as though afraid if she let go, he would simply disappear. “Crow....I was worried about you lad. They said that you'd left and took your things with you. I was worried you'd taken off without a word to anyone.”  

Guilt stabbed through Crow then, realising that was exactly what he had done, before. He'd made them all worry about him needlessly. He'd seen just how relieved they had all been when he had run into them on that field study to Jurai in his second year at Thors, but the sheer amount of relief that he could see in her shadowed eyes now, let Crow know just how raw the feeling was currently.  

“I... I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking when I left.” Crow began, not sure if he could explain the overwhelming anger and hatred that had once filled him. “I....I....”  

“It's ok lad, I understand.”  

And then suddenly, Crow found himself wrapped up in a warm embrace, his face pressed against her chest. Any embarrassment that he might have been feeling at the gesture – gods he was meant to be nineteen! – faded quickly, giving way to the bone deep grief that he had hardly ever allowed himself to feel before. He'd never let himself truly grieve for his grandfather, never allowing himself to be so vulnerable with no safe place to break apart.  

His Grandfather......Rean....dead, both dead.  

If tears soaked into the worn work shirt Freya wore, she didn't draw attention to it, her arms hiding Crow's face from Stark's curious and worried eyes. With a quiet word she sent her son off to continue preparing dinner, focusing her attention upon the boy breaking in her arms.  

She listened silently as he cried, great gasping sobs, that seemed to be torn out of his very soul; confusion rising within her breast as she listened to the cries of ' grandfather, grandfather ' change and instead become, ' Rean. Why Rean, why did you have to do that? ' She didn't know who this Rean boy was, but she wasn't sure she liked him all that much if he had caused Crow so much pain.  

But it wasn't her place to judge, so she simply stood there and ran gentle fingers through Crow's silver hair, so similar to his father’s and Grandfather's. His eyes though, they were all his mother's, a burning crimson like the sky as the sun sank below the waterline.  

It took Crow a long time to finally release the build-up of emotion that he had suppressed within himself from his other life, and when he was finally done, he felt exhausted but strangely lighter. As though the burden he had carried made up of all of the hate, anger and pain had been lifted from his shoulders and he was now able to have a fresh start.  

He didn't resist as Freya lifted him almost bodily from his seat, alarmed and confused that the older woman had the strength to do so – until he remembered that he was now in his younger teen body once more – following along, almost docilely when she led him further into the house and into the guest room. He didn't realise it at the time, but this room was soon to become his own; his place within the Halcyone family assured.  

Crow let himself be pushed gently onto the bed, hazily feeling his shoes being removed and his body shifted, the covers being pulled up to blanket him in comforting warmth. Fingers continued to run gently through his hair, a soft soothing humming lulling him to sleep. Outside the waves crashed against the shore, a sound Crow had almost forgotten, though once upon a time, it had been a constant, and without a fight, he felt himself drift away.  

The light burned bright in his eyes as he fought the Chancellor upon a rooftop in Heimdallr, the heat searing his skin and blinding him to the truth. Between one blink and the next, Osborne's face distorted and changed, only Rean's face remained before him, his features twisted into an expression of almost unimaginable grief as Crow's blade pushed through his chest.  

Crow could feel the sabre in his hands, could feel that brief – too brief – moment of resistance as the blade passed through sinew and flesh, the once gleaming steel stained a bloody and tainted crimson. He had thought that it would be harder to run someone though, but he supposed that with his speed and strength behind the strike, it had made it all too easy to impale Rean upon his weapon – had made it all too easy to steal away his life.  

He could feel a scream building up in his chest, wanting to burst free as he dropped to his knees and cradled Rean to his chest. Blood was soaking into his clothes, staining his knees, his hands, his soul. And through it all, Rean looked up at him, eyes dark and full of so much love that Crow didn't deserve, had never deserved and all he could think of was why? Why Rean? Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell me?  

Finally, Rean fell limp in his hold once more, and no matter how tightly Crow clung to him, Rean always left him.  

Crow jerked awake with a stifled gasp, his hand unconsciously flying to his pocket where he had once kept the last remnant that he possessed of Rean, shocked to discover the familiar slightly bloodied 50 mira coin, clutching it within his fist tightly, trying desperately to ground himself.  

Rean was alive still.... Crow had gone back, had been given a second chance to make things right. He, he wouldn't let Rean die again; wouldn't allow him to use Crow to kill him.  

Within the mess of Crow's muddled emotions, the briefest flicker of anger burnt, that Rean had used him, had forced him to be the one to end his life. He wanted to be angry, wanted to be able to get rid of the heartache and pain and burn it out with that anger (but not the love he still felt for the other boy, never the love), but he couldn't. He couldn't because he knew exactly why Rean had done what he did. Vita and Roselia had told him everything; about why Rean chose to do what he had and his reasons for making Crow be the one to land that final blow.  

As if Crow would ever think that killing Rean would be a fitting punishment. There was no way he could ever blame Rean for anything that Osborne and Crow himself had done. It didn't change a thing for him knowing that Rean was Osborne's child; Rean was still Rean. He was still the boy who had saved Crow, even if it had been too late in the end. He was still the same boy who Crow had fallen in love with, and had given up everything for this second chance for.  

He looked over towards the window, noting that the sun was just beginning to rise. Crow knew that there was no way he was getting back to sleep now, not with his dream still lingering on the edges of his consciousness, so he hauled himself from the bed. Freshening himself up slowly, Crow stepped from the room, making sure to pop past the store downstairs to let Stark and Freya know that he was headed out, the pair already busy with opening up. He headed outside, determination in his stride.  

Finally, Crow felt a tiny smile tug at the corners of his lips; he had his second chance now and he wasn't going to squander it. He had a lot to do though before he met Rean again, and there was no time like the present to begin.  

Chapter Text

Things had been a little tense around Jurai at the beginning, most of the locals recognising Crow as the grandson of the late Mayor, and were unsure of how they should treat him. Should they hold on to the resentment that they had felt for the older man, and pass that on to Crow also? Did Crow himself feel anger towards them for ousting the older man from his position; the stress and shame the likely cause of his untimely death? 

In the end though, they had ended up taking their cue from Crow himself, unable to resist his natural charm and friendly attitude – plus Freya Halcyone was a terrifying woman when crossed, and she seemed to have claimed the last Armbrust as her own. 

Crow couldn't deny that he still felt anger deep inside of him; but he knew where that anger could lead him if he let it overtake him. With hindsight, Crow could understand that panic and Osborne's interference had played a large role in the people of Jurai’s actions; but that didn't mean they hadn't still stung. So instead, he hid his true feelings beneath a mask of friendly openness, until one day, he realised that he wasn't faking those emotions anymore. He was making genuine connections with the people here, enjoying their company and feeling more at home than he had felt in over six years. The Halcyone family had had a lot to do with that too, welcoming him into their home, Freya and Gareth treating him like a second son and Stark like a much-loved older brother. 

There was so much that Crow needed to do though, to prepare for what was to come. The first thing Crow needed to do, was find himself a weapon and train himself to get stronger. He remembered that moment when he had followed Rean out of Trista late one night, watching as the younger boy had spent hours training himself under the light of the stars. He'd asked Rean why he was training, and could recall that Rean had told him that he had needed to be better, to get stronger. He hadn't understood then what he'd meant, but he did now. 

The problem was, to purchase a weapon, Crow would need mira. 

Crow had never had Rean's enthusiasm for fishing, so making money on one of the fishing boats was out of the question for him. He would have hunted the monsters and beasts that roamed around if he could have, but he needed a weapon for that, and he needed mira to buy a weapon. Left with no other options (other than asking the Halcyones, who would have given him the money in a heartbeat) he came up with the idea of hiring himself out for any odd jobs at the local pawn shop in exchange for a pair of old, but serviceable pistols. For weeks at a time, Crow could be found running around Jurai on errands for one person or another, a quick flash of a smile in greeting before he was off again. If he stopped to think about it, or allowed himself the luxury of remembering, he could only shake his head at himself, when he realised he had become a gopher just like Rean had during their Thors time. At least he was getting paid though, Crow consoled himself. 

He could, of course, have gone and located the hidden chest where he had found his double sabre the first time; but just the thought of wielding that weapon again, even if this one had never been plunged through Rean's chest, was enough to make him feel ill. 

No, for now, Crow would stick with the pistols. They were old, a little rusted, and fired so slow that it made Crow cringe on the inside, but they got the job done. Mostly. 

Old pistols in hand, Crow moved on to taking bounties for monsters in the area. Freya worried about him almost constantly, fussing over him and frowning at the sight of the dark circles that still darkened his eyes, pushing packed lunches into his hands as he left each morning. Her husband, Gareth hushed her gently, clapping a hand on Crow's shoulder and telling him to be careful. It was such a small thing really, that trust, that faith put in him, but it had meant so much to Crow. 

Once Crow had saved enough money, he went down to the local weaponsmith and commissioned him to make a double sabre for him. He laid out the designs that he had painstakingly drawn out, going over the best materials to use with the more knowledgeable man. Crow had enjoyed the discussion immensely, and the weaponsmith, Aaron, had been surprised at his well thought out choices. Still, it had been a surprise to Crow when the older man had taken him on as a temporary apprentice. Crow couldn't commit himself to anything for too long; he had plans he needed to fulfil. 

It had been hard work learning the ins and outs of weapon crafting and maintenance, but it had been worth it in the end. Crow could feel the way his shoulders broadened and his arms and torso firmed with developing muscle from all the hammering and metal bending. He also learned how to maintain his own pistols, managing to turn them into something a little more useful; still less than ideal, but less likely to misfire at an inconvenient time and get him killed. 

He'd almost cried when Aaron had handed over his double sabre after months of hard work. Crow had sat watching as he had braided the coloured hand grip before sealing it in place, applying the finishing touches to the blade. He ran his fingers slowly along the purple and gold braiding, the grip's design in the exact shade and pattern as Rean's tachi. In honour of Rean's memory......and something to offer Crow comfort in the years before he could meet the other boy again. 

Crow had tightened his hand around the grip, promising himself that he'd make sure things turned out differently this time; this time he wouldn't let Rean die, and definitely not by his own hand. 

“Rean....I'll protect you this time. I promise.” Crow had whispered to himself. 

That night, Crow had dreamt of Rean again, his sobs echoing through the silent hall of the house. Freya had entered his room quietly, sitting on the edge of Crow's bed, and brushing away the damp strands of his hair from his forehead, her heart aching at the sight of the tears that stained his cheeks. Once more she had to listen to Crow beg and plead with this 'Rean', her mouth tightening into a stern line. 

In the morning, Crow did not remember his tears or nightmares of the night before, and Freya decided not to mention them. 

When Crow's birthday had arrived, his first since he had come back, he had been utterly surprised to discover that Stark had been working his little butt off in his parent's store to save up enough mira to buy him a present this year. He'd fallen short of the lofty goal he had set for himself, but his parents had chipped in to make up the difference. They'd still allowed Stark to hand Crow the gift, and he couldn't deny the lump that rose in his throat at such a simple gesture. 

How long had it been since Crow had celebrated his birthday he wondered, running his fingers reverently over the dual pistols Stark had gifted him. They weren't the same ones he had wielded in the past, and Crow could only be thankful for that. They had still been absolutely gorgeous though, and he had made sure to thank Stark with the biggest smile and tightest hug that he could (he might have added in a few ruffles to his brown hair too; big brother privileges). 

Crow hadn't known Rean the last time his birthday had passed, though he could well imagine that the other boy would have done something if they had known one another. It was with a jolt that Crow realised that Rean must have had his own birthday after they had met, and he felt regret hit him hard when he realised he had done nothing for him. It didn't matter to Crow that they hadn't known each other that well then, he should still have done something for him. He wouldn't make the same mistake again, Crow vowed. 

 
So many things he had taken for granted, so many he had just not bothered noticing in the first place, and Crow could only mourn those missed opportunities. He could only be thankful that he had been given this second chance to make things right. 

The first anniversary of Rean's death had been hard. No, hard didn't even begin to describe what it had been like for Crow. As the date of his death had crept closer, Crow had found his nightmares growing worse and worse, the shadows beneath his eyes deepening so far, he looked like he had bruises. His appetite had all but disappeared, and his lethargic and despondent attitude had worried all those around him. 

Aaron had given Crow time off, worried that the young boy would injure himself in his dazed state; Stark clinging almost obsessively to Crow's side, worried about him and terrified for his friend – his brother – but not knowing why he felt that way. 

On the day of Rean's actual death, Crow had locked himself in his room, unable to face anyone, muffling his screams of pain into his pillow; his hands clawing at his chest, pulling at his own hair, wanting, no needing , to feel some sort of physical pain to ease his emotional suffering. 

Both Stark and Freya had knocked on his door, concerned about him, but Crow had not been able to bring himself to lie to them and tell them he was fine. He'd known that his behaviour was worrying them, but he had been too lost in his own pain in that moment to even begin to reassure them. 

The next day when he had finally managed to leave his room, he had looked terrible; his eyes had been bloodshot, his hair a dishevelled mess. Stark had hovered by his side all day, Crow only briefly managing to shoot him a strained smile as he ruffled his hair in an attempt to reassure the younger boy. 

He'd felt a little better the day after that, managing to feel a little more human again, a little more able to manage his grief. He had to keep reminding himself frequently over those next few days that Rean was alive here, was safe and that Crow had not killed him, no matter how thick his blood still felt upon his hands. 

Each day became a little easier to breathe, a little easier to keep on moving forwards. 

The next anniversary was still hard, but this time, Crow knew that he could live through it. 

It was when Crow was fifteen that the Halcyone family had announced that they were going to go on holiday to Ordis. They had been tossing up between visiting there or Legram, but had ultimately chosen the Port city because of the upcoming Summer Festival that would coincide with the time of their trip. 

 
Crow had been feeling a little down at the thought of being left on his own for the two weeks that they would be gone, knowing that his nightmares still occurred occasionally (though less often than previously), and that Freya and Stark were the only two who could help pull him out of them. He could still remember overhearing a conversation between Freya and Gareth one night when he had risen in the middle of the night for a drink. 

“His nightmares aren't getting better Gareth,” Freya had been saying, the rustle of bed sheets letting Crow know they were getting ready for bed.  

“Aye Love, I know.” Gareth had acknowledged. “But unless he wishes to speak to us of what they are about, there is mighty little we can do.”  

“I don't understand why he's even getting them, surely his grandfather's death could not have affected him this badly? Perhaps he needs help? Or to be able to speak to someone else.,” Freya had suggested hesitantly, as though unsure. “Maybe he will open up to a professional.”  

Crow had scoffed to himself at that idea; there was no way in hell he would talk to some stranger about his nightmares. For one, they would never believe him, thinking he was crazy; and for another, Crow still found it hard to open up to others, even if he was better at it now than he had been before. Rean had done that, Crow realised. Rean had helped him to open up to others – helped to fix him – even as he had been the one who had shattered Crow almost beyond repair.  

Crow would be fine once he had Rean safely in his arms again where he could see with his own eyes that he was alive and well, and where he could protect him.  

“There's something else too...someone else that he always mentions.” Crow held his breath, feeling it leave him in a rush at the sound of his name. “Rean.”  

“Rean? Who is that Frey? Someone Crow used to know?” Gareth had sounded confused, and well he might. Rean was not a name he would be familiar with.  

“I don't know Gar, but the more I hear of this Rean from Crow's nightmares, the less I'm beginning to like him. He hurt Crow Gareth, and that is not on.” Freya all but sneered Rean's name.  

Crow couldn't help the slightly strangled laugh that wanted to escape him at that. Imagine, Freya disliking Rean! She'd love him if only she met him and realised that he had been just as broken as Crow was, but it seemed that for now, she was holding a grudge against the younger boy for what she thought he had done to Crow. He couldn't even explain things to her though, couldn't tell her that his lover five years into the future had forced Crow to kill him in some form of atonement for the life he had lived before when Crow himself had died because of him (not because of him, never because of him, no matter what Rean had thought).  

The next morning Crow had not mentioned what he had overheard, but he had begun trying to open up to them more and let them in. He could see the way Freya had looked relieved as he started to talk to her about his nightmares, though they never spoke of the ones that contained Rean, Crow still too broken to be able to speak about the other boy; hoarding even these broken, nightmarish fragments of memory of the one he had lost to himself.  

In the end though, he had been shocked speechless when he realised that they had never even considered leaving him behind, and had in fact been planning to take him with them all along. 

“I can't wait to see Ordis Crow!” Stark had been bouncing in place, too excited to remain still while dinner was being served. 

“Ha, I'm sure you'll have a great time there,” Crow had smiled at the younger boy, a tinge of sadness lingering in his eyes. 

Even though he had not been there before in this current lifetime, Crow could still remember the last time he had been there; even if it had simply been to pass the trials to awaken Ordine, rather than sight see. Ordis had been a beautiful city and Crow almost wished he had had a chance to see more of it than the inside of Cayenne's mansion and the underground where the trials had been held. They'd had little time for leisure then, simply there to awaken the Knight before leaving to continue collecting useful tools and allies. 

Crow's heart ached slightly at the thought of his Knight, wondering just who might become his Awakener this time around. 

Would Vita offer Cayenne's new puppet the same chance she had to Crow? 

Crow ignored the fact that Rean had had Valimar last time, since he wasn't even sure if the other boy had been the Ashen Knight's Awakener in his first life. They hadn't exactly had the time to sit down and have a heart to heart about previous lives, what with Rean keeping everything he knew a secret – including the knowledge that Crow had died the first time – and Crow being forced to kill him and all that. Once the truth had finally been revealed, once Rean admitted to Crow his weakness, there had been little time for anything other than their declarations of love; and Crow hadn't even been sure that Rean had heard his own broken confession before he had died. 

Somehow though, Crow had a feeling that Rean had been the Ashen Awakener in that first life too; he'd just been too good piloting the Knight not to have been. 

“It will be nice to get away for a little while,” Gareth said with an amused chuckle. “Stark sit still before you tip the table boy.” 

Stark went still immediately, sitting ramrod straight for all of five seconds before he was wriggling in excitement again. “I've heard that they are having the Summer Festival when we are going to be there Crow! Will you take me out to see the bonfires at night?” He asked, turning his pleading eyes on the older boy. 

“I... what?” Crow floundered. “But....I mean...?” 

“You didn't really think that we would leave you behind did you Crow?” Freya questioned softly. “It's a family holiday after all, and you're family.” 

Crow could feel tears spring to his eyes and he blinked rapidly to try to clear them without letting them fall. 

“Oh.” That was all that he could manage to say, but it didn't matter. Freya squeezed his hand as she handed him his dinner, smiling gently at him. 

So... this was family, was it? Crow thought in wonder to himself. It was.... nice. If Rean had felt even a fraction of what Crow was currently feeling, it was little wonder that he had been so dead set on protecting his. It still didn't make Crow any happier about the way that he had gone about protecting them all though; he just wished he could go back and lecture Rean on all the ways his solution had been flawed. 

When Crow had apologetically told Aaron he would be gone for a couple of weeks, the older man had simply smiled at him and told him to have fun with his family. 

Family huh? It looked like Crow was the last person to realise just what they were to him. 

And little wonder really. He'd loved his grandfather, he truly had. But the man had been old and wearied by his losses in life already by the time Crow had come into his care; combined with his work as Mayor, it really had left little time to dote upon the young child. He'd done his best, but Crow was only now realising just how much he had been missing out on all that time. 

Crow didn't want to admit just how excited he was to be here in Ordis, sharing a grin with Stark before the pair of them had taken off together. Freya and Gareth had called out after the rapidly disappearing boys, shaking their heads at their antics. The boys would be fine, as long as they stuck together. 

Crow raced Stark to the harbour, darting between other pedestrians, laughing as they shouted after them in exasperation. They skidded to a halt before the ocean, the familiar sight looking so different from here than the usual view in Jurai. 

“It looks so different from home doesn't it Crow?” Stark commented, tugging Crow closer to the edge of the dock. “I thought it would look the same.” 

“Ha don't be fooled by the ocean Stark, it may be beautiful, but it can be just as wily and fearsome as it pleases.” Crow responded, thoughtfully. “Even if you were to stand here tomorrow, it would not be the same view as you are looking at today.” 

Crow thought Rean had been a bit like that. No matter how many times Crow had looked at him, talked to him, gotten closer to him; Crow always felt like he had never truly managed to truly know him. Every time he had looked, Rean seemed to almost be a different person. So strong, but still so scared that he would fail; ready to protect everyone, but too willing to throw his own life away to do so. 

Crow wondered if he had ever really known Rean at all. And yet still, Crow had loved him; still loved him, even now. 

Stark seemed to be able to pick up on a strange undertone in Crow's words, his head tilting to the side in worry. “Crow?” 

“Ah never mind me!” Crow tried to brush his odd mood off. “Did you know that there is an island about half an hour out to sea?” 

“Wow really?” Stark exclaimed, his worry forgotten in his excitement. 

“Yup. It's called Bryonia Island.” 

“Do you think we can go there?” Stark questioned. “Maybe Mum and Dad can take us!” 

“Haha, maybe.” Crow replied with a laugh, reaching out to ruffle Stark's hair again. “Come on, let's head off now though. I hear there will be heaps to do later in the evening.” 

He turned on his heel, intending on leading Stark back towards their lodging. He hadn't taken more than five steps before he found himself stumbling to a halt, his heart pounding in his chest. 

Rean....was that Rean? 

Crow's eyes searched frantically for the flash of blue-black hair he had seen from the corner of his eye, turning his head this way and that when he could not find it again. 

No..NO! He couldn't lose Rean, not again. 

Finally, his eyes located that head of blue-black hair, his heart plummeting to his feet when he took in the sight of a complete stranger. His crimson eyes met that of the other person, their green eyes staring back at him with a confused frown. It wasn't Rean after all, it had been stupid of him to assume that it was, Crow chastised himself. 

“Crow? Big brother? Are you ok?” Stark's agitated voice pulled Crow out of his daze and he turned back towards the younger boy. Stark looked worried, clinging onto Crow's sleeve tugging at the material, the only thing that had been holding Crow back from chasing after that dark head of hair. 

“I... I'm fine Stark. Sorry to worry you.” Crow tried to smile, knew he missed the mark completely as Stark continued to frown at him, and instead allowed the look to drop from his face completely. “It's nothing...really Stark. I....just thought I saw someone I knew, that's all.” 

Stark seemed to notice Crow's distress and dropped the matter, much to Crow's relief. He didn't want to think about what had just happened. 

They had decided to meet back up with Freya and Gareth then, the older pair exchanging glances with one another as they noticed the strained look upon Crow's face and the one of concern upon Stark's. They didn't say anything though, knowing that if they did so Crow would clam up and refuse to speak, so instead they simply kept a close eye upon both boys for the rest of the evening. The mood had lightened when Stark had mentioned the Island, all but begging his parents to take them over the next day. It hadn't really been a hard decision for them to make, not when Crow had smiled more genuinely than he had all night when they had agreed. 

Crow had been wandering around the Harbour District early in the morning, having left a snoring Stark to his slumber, the younger boy still being tired out from their trip to Bryonia Island the other day. Crow chuckled as he remembered the sight of Stark running around the Island, poking his head into various caves, and sticking his hands fearlessly into the small rock pools and the ocean itself. 

Crow had teased the younger boy, telling him that he had better watch out for any sharks that might decide to nibble on his hands; nearly falling over in laughter as Stark had jerked his hands back hastily, skirting the water warily and eyeing any shadows lingering in distrust. He'd eventually apologised, once he had managed to catch his breath, and to make it up to him, Crow had taken the younger boy fishing, teaching him everything he himself had learned from Rean in that other life. 

Nostalgia had found Crow then, memories of lingering by Rean's side as he spent hours simply standing by the school's lake, not even caring if he managed to catch a fish or not. And although he had never cared if he came away empty handed, Crow could still recall the look of utmost glee on Rean's face when he hauled in a fish, and not even getting slapped in the face with a slimy tail had managed to dim his excitement. They'd still left empty-handed that day, but for once, that all-consuming sadness that surrounded Rean had been lifted, if only briefly. 

So lost in his own musings, Crow almost didn't notice the woman stepping into his path, only instinct aiding him in avoiding the collision. He looked up with an apology ready on his lips, the words catching in his throat as he took in just who it was standing before him. 

Vita Clotilde. 

Violet eyes observed Crow closely, Crow feeling like she was not just taking in his physical form, but was judging his very soul as well. She seemed to like what she found, as Crow knew she would just as she had last time, a secretive smile settling upon her painted lips. 

“Crow Armbrust, how would you like to become part of a legend? I can give you anything you wish for, if you pledge yourself to me.” Her words were honey sweet and tempting to a young man looking to find his own place in the world, seeking revenge upon the man he hated above all others......but Crow wasn't that man anymore. 

He had learned his lesson the hard way. 

But at the same time, if he didn't accept this offer, he would never become Ordine's Awakener either. And that...that hurt more than Crow would like to think about. He wanted his Knight back by his side, wanted his friend back too, but more than that, Crow did not want to repeat the same mistakes. And joining Vita now, accepting her deal, that was just the first step to ending up right back where he had started. 

“Vita Clotilde,” Crow could see he had surprised her by calling her by name. She wasn't well known just yet, so really, he shouldn't have known who she was. “As tempting as your offer sounds, I'm afraid that I shall have to turn you down this time.” 

Vita's brow lifted as the words 'this time' fell from Crow's lips, her eyes narrowing thoughtfully as he bid her good day and jogged towards where he could see Stark and Gareth waving at him from the other end of the Harbor. 

With each step that Crow took away from Vita, doubt followed him. What if he should have accepted her offer if only so that he could Awaken Ordine once more? What if he had joined the Noble Alliance and ILF and changed things from the inside instead? 

Crow shook his head at himself, calling himself a fool for even harbouring such thoughts. Each and every member of the ILF had reasons why they had joined, and nothing Crow could have said would have changed their minds. They hadn't lived with the consequences of their actions; they hadn't paid the price like he had. They hadn't lost their everything. As for the Noble Alliance, well Cayenne wasn't exactly what one would call sane, so double crossing him would not turn out well. Besides, how do you escape a witch who can literally hunt you down wherever you go? 

'I'm sorry Ordine old friend. Forgive me, but I can't risk losing Rean again.'

Chapter Text

“I think it's about time that we organised another family holiday,” Freya announced at the dinner table that night.  

Crow looked up in surprise, noting idly that Stark looked just as startled as he did, though Gareth simply smiled indulgently at his wife.  

“Did you have any ideas on where you wish to go?” Gareth asked, reaching out and running lovingly, adoring fingers along the back of his wife's hand.  

Crow ached to see the casual affection that they shared, wishing that he had had the chance to share something similar with Rean. He'd lost his chance last time, pushing his feelings and emotions for the younger boy to the side, in order to carry out his revenge (Ha what a joke, Crow thought bitterly. He'd had his head shoved so far up his own ass with denial that he hadn't even realised he'd had feelings for Rean until it had been far too late to do anything about it besides sharing that one stolen night they had had before it all went to Gehenna); and had paid for his mistake with the feel of Rean's blood coating his hands and the tears he hadn't been able to stop from falling from eyes that had long forgotten how to cry. This time though, Crow was determined that he would not make the same mistakes.  

Already Crow liked to believe that he had changed his own fate, by staying here in Jurai and not joining Cayenne and helping to create the ILF. There wasn't that all-consuming anger and hatred simmering beneath the surface of his skin, and for the first time in years, Crow's smiles, his laughter, his hurt, his everything , was genuine.  

It wasn't much in the grand scheme of things, but Crow had to believe that this one choice was enough to make a difference in the end.  

“Hmm, I'm tossing up between two places,” Freya hummed thoughtfully, returning the affection with a soft smile. “There is Legram which I have heard is beautiful this time of year, or Ymir.”  

Ymir. Crow heard the name of the town as though from a distance, his mind latching on as a voice rang out within his mind. His mouth unconsciously forming the shape of his name upon his lips.  

Ymir, Rean...Rean was from Ymir. Rean was in Ymir. Now. Alive.  

Rean was......Rean....was......he was.... he...  

If....if they were to visit Ymir now, Crow could see him. He wouldn't have to wait another three years to see Rean again. Rean, the boy who brought Crow's heart back to life, who made it ache with such longing he had to press his palm against his chest to soothe the pain that still lingered there.  

Goddess knew how much Crow wanted to go to Ymir just to...just to see Rean, to reassure himself that the last few years hadn't been some fever dream and that Rean really was alive and well. But this Rean wasn't his Rean......this Rean would not remember Crow, would not know him. This Rean would not understand why Crow would cling to him, wanting to hold him so close and never let him go again. And Crow knew that, knew that this wasn't his Rean......but still, he wasn't sure if he would be able to let the other boy go once he saw him again.  

And Crow was still not strong enough yet to protect Rean from what fate had planned for them.  

How would Rean look? Crow wondered. Without the pain and shadows of the past lingering deep within his lilac eyes? With a childish innocence, that his Rean had lacked; war and heartbreak having aged him before his time. Would he still love Crow the same, if he was different? The thought that he might not, twisted something deep within Crow, his face unconsciously reflecting his internal agony.  

Across the table, Freya's eyes narrowed as she caught Crow's movement, wondering what had set him off for him to look so conflicted and pained. Somehow though, she wasn't surprised when Crow requested that they go to Legram instead of Ymir. Something about that town brought back painful memories for him, and she suspected that it might have something to do with that Rean person that Crow still cried out for in his sleep sometimes, having caught sight of Crow mouthing his name.  

Thinking this, she had not protested against Crow's request, and neither Stark nor Gareth had had any issues with the choice, so they had decided upon Legram as their destination.  

Crow was stripping off his 'C' armour, standing in a hidden hangar after completing another mission, Ordine resting silently before him. He wondered sometimes if the Divine Knight regretted allowing Crow to become his Awakener, if he had thought that this is what he would be used for – creating war and destruction.  

“Hey Ordine...” Crow murmured softly, watching as the lights on the Knight lit up. “Do you regret it?”  

“Do I regret what Crow?” Ordine questioned in his low, mechanical voice.  

“Becoming my Knight.”  

“Why would you think I would regret that choice?”  

“It's just....is this really what you imagined when you awoke for me? That you would be helping a murderer, a thief and betrayer?” Crow stopped his movements, bending down and picking up his helmet to stare blankly into his visor.  

It was red. As red as the blood that he washed from his hands after every mission, every death that he caused. As red as the fire that burned hot and destructive within his soul with the hatred he nurtured for Giliath Osborne.  

What cost was the price for his revenge? He had dragged so many others into this mess already...he'd gotten so deep now, that even if he had been able to forget his burning desire to see Osborne pay , there was really no way out for him.  

“From the moment you entered the testing grounds, I have always known what sort of man you were Crow. Nothing that has happened since, has changed my mind. You are my Awakener, and I am your Knight. Nothing will change that fact.”  

Crow looked up at the Knight, staring into those lit orbs, his own eyes blinking rapidly. “Thanks Ordine, I'm glad you're by my side.”  

Crow woke slowly, salty trails falling from his eyes to soak into his pillows, his heart aching for an old friend that he would never again meet as anything other than enemies. He'd already given up the chance to find Ordine again, already accepted that one day instead of standing by Crow's side, Ordine would stand against him.  

But perhaps Rean would have the Ashen Knight still; Ordine had called him the Ashen Awakener, hadn't he? Crow could still remember the way that Rean had out-flown him at Garrelia Fortress – even if he hadn't known it was him then – the frustration he had felt that another Knight had shown itself, that someone else was better than him at piloting.....But even if Rean were to awaken the Ashen Knight again, unless he were to do so now, he wouldn't be as skilled as whoever Vita had found to become the Azure Awakener. This Rean wouldn't have two lifetimes worth of experience to fall back on.  

All of these thoughts flying through his mind just made Crow wish that there was some way that he had been able to find Ordine again, on his own, without selling himself out to Vita and the Noble Alliance. A foolish thought really, since the witch had seemed to know exactly where the testing grounds were, and just what he would face inside of them; leading Crow to believe that unless he were able to access the same area beneath Ordis, Ordine was far beyond his reach now.  

He didn't regret his decision, but Goddess did he miss his Knight.  

“Until we meet again Ordine.” Crow whispered into the dark room.  

He dragged himself out of his bed, even though it was still mostly dark outside, knowing that there was no way he was going to be able to fall back to sleep again now; not unless he was looking to invite a nightmare to overwhelm him anyway. He ran his fingers through his hair carelessly, taking note that it was starting to grow a bit long now, almost brushing his shoulders. Huh, he should probably do something about that soon, lest the strands get in his way as he fought.  

Crow grabbed both his double sabre and his pistols before he left his room, penning a quick note for the Halcyones to let them know he had headed out, and grabbing a piece of fruit on his way out of the door. He walked slowly through the darkened streets towards the Bracer's Guild, thinking to take one of the monster extermination requests he remembered seeing on the bulletin board the other day, since Aaron didn't need him to head into the Blacksmith until later in the afternoon.  

It was three years now, since Crow had been sent back, and he hadn't wasted a moment of that time in pushing himself to grow stronger. Before, last time, Crow had thought that he was laughably overpowered compared to the others he had faced, but he knew now that that had been a lie. He hadn't been strong enough to save Rean from dying......hadn't been strong enough to wrest his soul back from death's embrace. Crow vowed to himself that he would become so strong that he would be able to protect Rean from anything that wished harm upon him, even if it was against himself.  

Crow would not let Rean sacrifice himself again. Not for Crow, not for anyone. Crow would rather trap them in a never-ending cycle of second chances by letting himself die again, then watch as Rean died again. Once was enough, he couldn't do that again.  

A small part of his brain whispered that he would be cruel to let Rean watch him die again and again. Crow could still remember the pain that had lingered in his eyes as he'd stared at him. He understood now though, Rean's words to him when he had apologised and told him that he couldn't do it again; couldn't watch Crow die again, because Crow couldn't watch Rean die again. It would destroy him.  

The hunt Crow took led him out of town along the coastline and towards a complex system of caves that were the perfect breeding grounds for all sorts of monsters. The request had been to deal with a nest that seemed to have migrated closer to the entrances, scaring off both the fish in the area and the tourists that came to visit. They weren't particularly dangerous (though a monster was still a monster regardless) but they had an advantage of numbers, so Crow would have to be careful.  

Crow could feel a shiver of anticipation slither down his spine when he first entered the cave; odd since he didn't think the coming fight would be all that difficult or exciting. As one, the monsters turned towards him eagerly, seeming to appear from every nook and cranny they had managed to hide themselves within. And just as Crow had thought, it didn't take much effort to wipe out the entire nest, his skills and strength more than a match for them. He flicked his blade free of the monster remains, ready to turn back towards town and cash in this request.  

Something tugged at him though, a feeling that he shouldn't leave just yet, that told him he should venture further into the cave. Crow hesitated, unsure, but that feeling of anticipation grew within him and urged him to continue. Giving into the feeling, Crow turned and walked cautiously further into the cave, lighting a torch to illuminate the way.  

The torch fell from his slack grip as Crow reached a dead end, the light shattering upon impact with the hard stone ground, the light it had shone no longer necessary when the building before him glowed with its own mystical light.  

A shrine. What....what was a shrine doing all the way down here? Crow wondered. He couldn't remember anyone ever mentioning anything about one being down here, and it wasn't like this was so deep or far that no one else would have come across it before now.  

That feeling of anticipation had grown to almost unbearable levels by now, and Crow couldn't stop himself from moving forwards, his hand pressing against the stone door and pushing it open. As soon as he set foot inside the shrine, another feeling of familiarity washed over Crow. He had felt this twice before, back in his other life, when he had undergone the trials to awaken Ordine, and when he had entered the Old Schoolhouse where Valimar had resided.  

Did that mean...? Was there a Divine Knight waiting here for him now? Who would it be?  

As much as Crow wished it could be Ordine, he knew that the Knight had been sleeping beneath Ordis, not tucked away in a mysterious shrine just along the coast of Jurai. The stories had always spoken of several other Knights too, seven in total if he remembered correctly, though Crow already knew where the Ashen and Azure Knights slept, so perhaps this was one of the others.  

Crow moved through the corridors of the shrine as quickly as he could, easily defeating whatever enemies stood in his way. Each victory increasing his confidence, and foolishly he let himself grow cocky, as though there were nothing here able to defeat him. It wasn't until he managed to barely escape major injury that Crow managed to slap some sense back into himself, the thin line scored across his arm that bled sluggishly, a reminder that he was not invincible.  

It wasn't however, until Crow stumbled his way into the final area that he began to feel the loss of Vita's help, his own training having been enough to defeat anything standing in his way up until this point. Not that Crow was going to let anything stand in his way, but he could admit to himself, that the help had definitely made things easier that first time. Especially since the gargoyle that stood before him seemed to be strong against the physical attacks dealt by his sabre and pistols. Crow really began to miss the ARCUS unit, wishing that he could cast a few artes at the monster to weaken it.  

Sweat was pouring off of Crow by the time the stone gargoyle finally fell under his assault, his limbs trembling from exertion as the monster disappeared in a blinding flash of light. Unable to keep himself on his feet any longer, Crow let his body bear him to the ground in a panting mess, praying to Aidios that there were no other enemies around.  

‘Bloody Gehenna’ , Crow thought to himself, this was only the first trial. If the rest were just going to get harder from here onwards, he was really going to struggle unless he upped his game.  

It was at least another ten minutes before Crow found the strength to pull himself back onto his feet, gathering up the various items that the gargoyle had dropped and pocketing them. Unlike in the Old Schoolhouse or beneath Ordis, this shrine didn't seem to have multiple levels to differentiate the separate stages of the trail. He walked around the 'boss' room slowly, scanning the walls for any sign of where he was to go next, finally stopping before a familiar symbol imprinted upon the wall.  

It was the same symbol that had appeared upon that locked door in the Old Schoolhouse. It was the same symbol that had been all over the doors within the Ordis trial grounds. Any lingering doubt that Crow might have held in his mind about this not being a trial, flew out of his head at the sight of this mark.  

Peering closer at the area surrounding the symbol, Crow could just make out the faint outline of a doorway, but nothing he attempted would make the door open. Remembering that Rean hadn't been able to pass through multiple levels of his trial at one time, Crow concluded that he would have to return to the shrine another time. He hadn't needed to do so in Ordis last time, but perhaps that had been Vita's influence once again helping him through.  

Heaving a tired sigh, Crow retreated back to the entrance of the shrine, and returned to Jurai to turn in his bounty at the Bracer's Guild. He didn't want to admit it, not even to himself, but he was a little relieved about not to being able to push onwards straight away. He needed to rest now and train some more if he had any hope at all, of passing the next trial.  

He wouldn't let himself fail here; he couldn't allow it. He still had so much to do to fix the future that he wanted to live in.  

Again and again, Crow would return to the shrine to battle and prevail against whatever trials were placed before him. He quickly learnt to carry a stock of various first aid equipment and potions with him, after he ended up limping his way through half of the second trial after an awkward landing had ended with a badly twisted ankle.  

That of course had been fun trying to explain to Freya, the older woman not believing a word of Crow's admittedly, long winded explanation. Dammit, Crow used to be able to lie better than this, what had happened to him? There had been a moment of heart wrenching fear pounding at Crow's temples as she had stared at him with stern eyes, when he had thought that she would ban him from taking hunts and exploring – a ban that Crow would have had to break, no matter the consequences and broken trust it would have created – but a pointed cough from Gareth and she had deflated like a balloon. She hadn't banned Crow from what he was doing, but she had begged him with both her words and her eyes to take better care of himself.  

The second trial had been similar to the first, though thankfully the boss had been weak to physical attacks this time, and he had had a much easier time defeating it than he had the first one. He'd still felt drained at the end of the fight; but at least this time he had managed to stay on his feet after the battle had ended.  

He had still needed to train though, to grow stronger; the monsters in each trial growing harder and harder for Crow to defeat on his own. Working with Aaron helped him gain more muscle, and his relentless training with both his sabre and pistols strengthened him further as well as imprinting into his very marrow the skills he would need to continue triumphing.  

Monster extermination missions from the Bracer's Guild were some of the best ways that Crow had to train, with the added bonus of getting paid at the same time. Occasionally Stark would beg Crow to tag along, and unable to say no to those pleading eyes, he would spend the majority of the fight worrying over the younger boy. Not that Stark was terrible in a fight, but Crow still didn't want to see him get hurt. He'd hurt enough people in his last life, this time he was trying to protect others instead.  

Crow could feel himself being to grow exhausted, his constant need to push himself, never allowing himself to take the rest his body so desperately demanded. He was on the verge of collapse already, but he knew that he couldn't stop now, not when he was so close to finishing all of the trials. Not when a Divine Knight waited for him at the completion of the trials. It may not be Ordine waiting for him at the end this time, but Crow wouldn't allow himself to dwell on that fact. Whatever, whoever , awaited Crow down there, they would be helpful to his plans.  

It was almost a relief when the trip to Legram arrived, Crow taking the opportunity to take a much-needed break from his constant training and work for both the Bracer's Guild and Aaron at the Weaponsmith. Crow had briefly thought to stay behind in Jurai, but closed his mouth on his unvoiced words as he took note of the mutinous look in Freya's eyes and Crow yielded to his fate without argument. Besides it would do him little good if he pushed himself too hard and ended up getting eaten by a monster lurking within the shrine or out on one of his hunts.  

The salty tang of the sea air in Legram was different from that in either Jurai or even Ordis, the smell of fish heavier upon the back of his tongue, the fog that spread across the ocean spreading the scent thickly. Crow drew in a deep breath, filling his lungs to bursting, before releasing the air back out in a rush, letting all of the tension he had been holding escape him at the same time.  

Stark watched his older brother breath in the briny air, saw the way his shoulders fell as he exhaled, his entire being relaxing into something more like the Crow the other boy hadn't been in a while. He allowed a smile to spread across his face, darting towards Crow and goading him into a race around town, Stark's laughter ringing out loudly in the quiet space.  

From further up the hill, amber eyes watched the two boys play, a small, curious smile tilting her lips upwards as she took note of the strange weapon case the older boy carried, the outline of dual pistols outlined beneath his clothing. She hadn't seen anything shaped like that before, and she hoped that one day, she might have the chance to fight against the other boy and his strange weapon. Not today though, not when the family looked so happy playing together; the tension that the silver haired boy had been filled with, fading away as the peaceful atmosphere of Legram offered him the respite he so obviously had needed.  

Crow returned from his trip to Legram, refreshed in both body and spirit, and ready to take on the next trial; making his way quickly down to the shrine to complete the next room. He hurried his way through the previously opened doorways, not bothering to waste his energy on fighting the enemies that had re-spawned and instead merely avoided them altogether, when possible, all the while cursing the lack of teleportation devices to navigate through the shrine faster. Finally he reached the place his last battle had taken place and made his way over to the now glowing door with the familiar symbol etched upon the stone wall, watching as the doorway opened before him.  

This....this would be the final trial, Crow knew as soon as he entered the room. He wasn't sure just how he knew that, but he could feel it within his very bones. Once he defeated this last trail, all of his hard work will have paid off and he would once again become an Awakener of a Divine Knight....even if it wouldn’t be his Knight. Crow tried not to dwell upon this thought, ignoring the stab of guilt he felt at the thought of bonding with another Knight who wasn't Ordine.  

He was not surprised when Loa Erebonius appeared before him as he entered the room. He had fought against the ghostly spectre in his own trials and in Rean's too last time, and he was beginning to wonder if he was the final trial for all Awakeners to defeat. Crow had little time to ponder on this thought however, before the real battle begun.  

Crow fired his pistols at the Ashen Fragments that were summoned, avoiding their attacks and cursing himself for not preparing better for this fight. He could vaguely remember now, that these pests inflicted the nightmare status ailment upon its victims; and unfortunately, Crow didn't have anyone with him to cure him should he become afflicted.  

The Fragments shattered as his bullets pierced through them; Crow having to switch out to his sabre as more and more were summoned, and they moved to surround him. He begun to think that he would never manage to defeat all of them, let alone attack Loa Erebonius, but with a powerful sweep of his sabre he managed to not only clear the Ashen Fragments, but stun the giant shadow long enough for him to throw a few of his more powerful attacks at it.  

Crow knew that it was likely that he had hardly made a dent in its health, but he didn't let that knowledge bring him down. He couldn't let himself fall into despair now, or he may as well give up the fight already. He just needed to chip away at it slowly, and eventually he would prevail.  

That's what he kept telling himself even as more Ashen Fragments were summoned, what he kept repeating as a mantra when his mana begun to run dry, and his potions ran out. He gritted his teeth and growled it out to himself as he was backhanded across the area, slamming into the wall spine first; hissing and spitting curses as dark spots danced across his vision.  

Peeling himself off of the wall, Crow could feel himself wavering on his feet and for the first time, he began to fear that perhaps he wasn't strong enough to win this fight. He was tired, so tired that his hands shook as they gripped either his pistols or sabre, his legs wobbling as he took a few shaky steps forwards again.  

Fuck, no. He couldn't let himself think like this Crow chastised himself, steeling his resolve and focusing all of his strength into pushing forwards again. He could feel his spirits rise as he realised that he wasn't the only one on his last legs, Loa Erebonius looking more than a little worse for wear also, and not only that, but it seemed it too had run out of mana and was unable to summon those annoying Fragments any longer.  

With the last of his strength, Crow threw himself at the giant shadow, twirling his sabre through a complicated series of manoeuvres, sparks and magic flaring from the ends in an eye-catching display. With a shout, Crow shot forwards, slashing his shining blades from side to side, a cross shaped burst of pure energy blazing forwards from the movement and towards Loa Erebonius, slamming into it and sending the giant shadow stumbling backwards on its feet until it fell to its knees.  

Crow panted, leaning his weight tiredly upon his sabre as he watched it fall, tense still but praying that it was over. He wasn't sure if he had enough energy to continue if it wasn't. He let out a quiet cheer of relief as the shadow of the Great One faded away, letting his eyes fall closed, only for them to spring open once again, disbelief widening his crimson orbs. Before him, in place of the shadow of the Great One, stood a Divine Knight.  

“Greetings Awakener......” Ordine greeted, pausing slightly before tearing the foundation from beneath Crow's unsteady feet. “It's good to see you again, Crow.”  

Tears gathered in Crow's eyes – tears that he would later blame on his exhaustion and not emotion – as he stared at the Azure Knight knelt upon the ground before him, greeting him like an old friend. Like he remembered their past life.  

“Ordine?” Crow whispered, barely daring to let himself hope. No, Ordine had been hidden beneath Ordis, not...not out here in a hidden shrine by the seaside in Jurai. “Is...is it really you old friend?”  

“It is.”  

Possibly Ordine spoke more words to him, but Crow was deaf to them as he all but threw himself towards his Knight with strength he hadn't known he still possessed in his tired body. He crashed down to his knees before the Knight, his hands and forehead pressing against that cool metal, the contact a soothing balm to his tortured soul.  

It was Ordine; his Ordine. 

“Goddess Ordine, I....I...” Crow choked on his own words, unable to force them from his trembling mouth, chest squeezing so damned tight, breath trapped in lungs suddenly devoid of oxygen. He was shattered, breaking apart, the tiny cracks that he had tried so desperately to seal over were torn open again and leaving Crow drowning in half suppressed emotions; safe in the knowledge that Ordine would understand why – already knowing the heartbreak which Crow tried to hide deep within himself – and would not question him about his tears.  

“I am here, Crow. I am here.” Ordine's mechanical voice was almost tender, the words meaning more to Crow that anything else he could have said. Ordine was here with him; Crow wasn't alone in this life anymore. He didn't have to fight on his own any longer.  

He'd been alone here for so long, and not even Stark nor Gareth or Freya had been able to fill the gap that yawned wide and all-consuming within him. Because they weren't there last time, they didn't know, couldn't know, all that Crow had lived through.  

Crow wasn't sure just when Ordine had transported him into the inside of the cockpit, only knowing that he found comfort within the familiar space. He ran reverent hands over the controls before him, feeling as though this was nothing more than a fever dream, that this could not possibly be real.  

The trails had been hard, nearly impossible to pass, but Crow had prevailed, and this had been his reward for persevering past what he could endure.  

As for Ordine, he felt a little guilty knowing that he had put his Awakener through such difficult trials once again, especially since this time he had not had help to pass them; but he had had to be sure. He knew that Valimar had accepted Rean as his Awakener the second time without the trials, and although it had been possible for himself to do the same with Crow this time, he had had to know. He'd had to make sure that Crow was not the same foolish, headstrong boy that he had been last time. That it was his Crow that was here, and not someone else.  

Ordine had waited beneath Ordis for the other boy, failing to begin the trials when that witch Vita had brought a stranger down to the awakening grounds, hope being to take form within him as Crow did not appear before him. He had waited years for his Awakener, until finally he had taken matters into his own hands, forcibly relocating to the area where he could feel his Awakener's mana. It had still been more than a year though, before Crow had found the shrine, and Ordine had known that it had not been in vain, that Crow would prevail against the odds and prove to Ordine that he was the same man who he had become before they had been thrust back in time for a second chance.  

Or perhaps it was a third chance, Ordine mused, as Rean and Valimar had already had their second chance.  

This time, Ordine would help Crow. He would not allow his brother nor Rean to fall to the same fates as they had last time.  

Crow was unsure just how long he remained curled up within Ordine's cockpit, his body shaking still, tremors racing over his limbs as he just sat there and allowed himself to breathe . Goddess' Crow was tired, but for the first time in years – since he had come back here – he felt as though a great weight had been lifted from his chest.  

He was reluctant to leave Ordine, an inexplicable fear blooming to life in his scrambled mind telling him that if he left, Ordine would disappear as though he had been nothing but a dream brought about by his desperate mind. Eventually Crow knew that he would have to return home though, a quick glance at his watch letting him know that it was well past nightfall, and the Halcyones would be worried about him failing to return from his explorations.  

He winced slightly as he caught sight of the beautiful black eye he was sporting, in the reflection from his watch, wondering if it was possible to avoid Freya until he could track down a potion or had managed to find someone willing to cast a Tear upon his face.  

Crow really wasn't looking forward to traipsing back through the entire shrine to get back to the entrance, so he was more than thankful when Ordine simply transported them outside himself. He exited the cockpit then, resting his head against Ordine's bent leg.  

“I'll see you soon, old friend,” Crow breathed out, fingers digging themselves into the unbending metal before him.  

Strong, Ordine was so strong. He wouldn't let Crow fail, together they would prevail.  

“I shall await your call.” Ordine intoned, waiting for Crow to step back, before disappearing from sight.  

Crow stumbled his way back towards home as quickly as he could, wincing when he noticed a light still on inside of the house. He slipped through the front door on silent feet, turning to close it behind him, his back still turned when he heard the shuffle of approaching footsteps coming closer to him.  

“Crow? Where have you been lad? We were worried you were injured on one of your hunts.” Crow felt a quick flash of guilt sear his chest, wishing he hadn't worried them with his absence, but knowing that he had needed the time with his Knight.  

He turned slowly, trying to keep his face out of the dim light flooding the hall from the kitchen. “Sorry Freya, I just....”  

Whatever excuse Crow was going to use, fell upon deaf ears as Freya let out a startled exclamation of shock, moving swiftly forwards and gently turning Crow's face towards her.  

“What in the Goddess' name happened to you Crow?” She urged Crow to follow her, nudging him to take a seat at the kitchen table as she hurried towards the bathroom to gather the first aid kit.  

“I met up with an old friend,” Crow responded, a soft smile spreading across his face.  

Freya held her tongue as she took in the black eye, the cuts and bruises littered across his skin and the blood that spotted his clothing. Her eyes finally turned to take in the look upon his face, unable to remember a time when the boy had looked so at peace. Certainly, it had been before the mayor's death; Crow had changed so much after the older man had passed, not least of which were his nightmares. She wasn't sure just what sort of old friend would leave the other with a black eye, nor when Crow would have even met such a person, but if it made Crow this happy, she would remain silent.  

Chapter Text

To be honest, Crow hadn't really thought much about his schooling this time around, having managed to test out of his high school early due to his previous knowledge. Freya had not been too sure about letting Crow leave school so young, thinking that he should be out spending time with others his own age, but she relented once she had seen how uncomfortable Crow seemed to be interacting with his peers, many of whom still weren’t quite sure how to treat the other boy, even all these years later.  

This had left him with the spare time that he had needed at this point to further his training, both working in the shop with Aaron and helping out around the Bracer's Guild until they decided he was old enough now and allowed him to take on hunts on his own.  

It had also stunted his ability to form friendships with the other kids in Jurai, but Crow couldn't even bring himself to care all that much; his heart aching for three classmates who had all but forced him to be friends, and a mixed group of former strangers who meant more to him than he had realised. Even that annoying little sprout Millium had grown on him, regardless of the fact that she kept trying to poke her nose into his business at the time.  

And of course, there was Rean. Rean who had been his enemy, not that Crow had known that, before becoming Crow's best friend, his lover.... his Aidios damned everything.  

Crow was seventeen now, just two years away from finally getting to see Rean again, but to do that, he would need to enrol in Thors. A quick check on the fees required to enrol had had his eyes nearly popping from their sockets. Damn, Cayenne had thrown that much money away on what.... a whim? It sure hadn't been because he cared about Crow's education that was for sure.  

He knew that if he were to ask the Halcyones that they would pay the enrolment fee in a heartbeat without protest, but at the same time, Crow couldn't bring himself to ask them. This was something that he needed to do on his own, if only to prove to himself that he could do it. And that meant, that Crow was going to have to study his ass off to be able to not only pass the entrance exam, but score high enough to be offered a scholarship also.  

And that meant that instead of going out every day to take on hunts or help out at the forge, Crow found himself sitting at the table in the Halcyone's kitchen, hunched over books on various subjects, hand cramping as he scribbled frantic notes in his messy scrawl. He could have studied at his own desk, but after the third day of not leaving his room, Stark had burst in, worried that Crow was sick. He'd only looked slightly less scared after standing there staring with his mouth open as he watched Crow studying. After that he had demanded that Crow study in the kitchen where he could keep an eye on him, and the older boy often found himself with a study-mate, Stark working diligently on his own homework beside him. Freya might have been proud of the pair, if she weren’t so confused.  

Stark looked up from his math homework, eyes trailing over the piles of books stacked up over almost all the available space on the table. He knew that his big brother wanted to enrol at Thors Military Academy (he'd found some hastily hidden information packets tucked beneath Crow's pillow one day), and that there was an entrance exam, but he hadn't thought it was as tough as Crow was making it seem.  

“Is the entrance exam really that hard Crow?” Stark questioned, finally gathering the courage to ask.  

Crow looked up in surprise at the question, a pencil gripped between his teeth, a pen tucked behind one ear and another stabbed through the messy ponytail he had gathered his long silver hair into.  

“Hmm? Oh, well I guess it is considered pretty tough. Though I'm studying extra hard because I'm hoping to earn a scholarship.”  

“But why? Mum and Dad wouldn't mind paying the fee.” Stark was clearly confused by Crow's determination.  

“I know they wouldn't mind, but......” hesitating briefly, Crow lowered his voice slightly, as though he didn't wish to be overheard by anyone else. “I, I don't want to ask them. They've given me so much already and it just doesn't feel right to keep asking them for more.”  

“Crow, lad...” Crow jerked slightly as Freya's voice startled him, her hand coming to rest gently upon his head. He looked up to see both Freya and Gareth standing behind him, both of them looking at him with fond exasperation.  

“Tis not a hassle to pay the fee lad,” Freya insisted. “There's no need for you to even ask.”  

“You have both already done so much for me,” Crow argued. I don't want to become a burden on you, he couldn't bring himself to voice. Even so, they still seemed to hear his unspoken words.  

Surprisingly, it was Gareth who spoke next. “All we have done for you, is no less than you deserve. It is what a parent does for their child, and we consider you to be our son, in heart if not in blood and name. You don't need to do this on your own Crow, we are here for you. Always.”  

Oh Goddess, Crow was going to cry. “Th-thank you. I mean it, really. But...this is something I want to do myself. Please?”  

Freya opened her mouth, likely to protest, but Gareth spoke first. “Aye lad, I can see this is something important to you; something that you wish to prove to yourself.” Crow nodded silently, their overwhelming love and support too much for him to deal with. “Just know, that we are always here to help should you need it.”  

Crow simply nodded again, unable to force any words past his tight throat, ducking his head back down and losing himself in the history of Erebonia once more. Gareth and Freya smiled softly at the embarrassed boy, before leaving him to his studies.  

Goddess, how had Rean actually liked all of these dry, boring facts about people long dead?  

Occasionally Crow's brain felt so overloaded with information that he felt like his head was going to explode; and at those times, he would close his books, grab his weapons and hunt down the biggest monster he could take down. The familiar and soothing motions of battle helped to keep him sane; Ordine's mechanical voice chiming in with amusement as Crow shouted out random things at the monsters, in an attempt to memorise facts.  

His Knight, Goddess's his Knight....  

Just having his Knight by his side again, his presence lingering in the back of Crow's mind, there whenever things grew too hard for him to handle alone... Crow wasn't sure how he had managed up until this point without Ordine.  

He'd felt his heart ache when Ordine had revealed that before he had died, Rean had made Ordine promise to protect Crow to the best of his abilities, apologising for not being able to do so in their fight against Scarlet. Even then, when most people would be focusing on the events to come, Rean had been thinking of protecting Crow. It frustrated Crow to know that Rean had thought more of Crow's life, that continuing to live his own. He wouldn't allow Rean to repeat those same actions again. Never again, he couldn't lose Rean again.  

Ordine's presence was like a soothing balm to his aching soul; a small piece of himself that had been missing, finally returned to him. In the years to come, Crow knew that he would slowly gather together all of the remaining pieces until he was whole once again.  

Crow wasn't sure just where he had found it, but Ordine had gifted him with something to hold back his increasingly long hair. That something just happened to look exactly like the braided red length, complete with the golden beads and tasselled ends, that had once hung from Rean's tachi. Crow had felt his breath catch in his chest when he had first received the gift, his hands shaking as he reached behind his head to knot it around his hair securely. Any thoughts that Crow had been having about cutting his hair shorter, were completely wiped from his mind from that point forwards.  

He knew that the Halcyones had noticed his new accessory, but he was thankful that none of them chose to comment on it. He did grow slightly worried when Freya began looking at him assessingly, and started asking rather pointed questions regarding his non-existent love life though.  

Occasionally as he took a break from his studies, Crow would wonder if he should simply wait an extra year to join Thors so that he might start at the same time as Rean. He quickly shook off those thoughts though, telling himself that there was no guarantee that he would even be considered for Class VII. Plus starting that one year earlier meant that Crow would be part of the trial curriculum to get ready for the real thing the next year, and he would be able to make sure that everything was as perfect as possible for when Rean finally arrived.  

And that wasn't even considering the fact that, as much as he might once have been loath to admit it, he would miss those idiots (and Towa) that he called his friends. Angie, George and Towa had given Crow more than he could ever repay them for, in the little time they had spent together, softening his hardened shell and turning him into something slightly more human, before Rean had come along and destroyed his armour completely, exposing the broken boy hidden beneath.  

As much as it had hurt, as much as it still hurt, Crow couldn't help but be thankful for all of them.  

So, no, Crow wouldn't wait another year before applying to enrol at Thors.  

Crow's palms were sweating as he gripped his pencil in his shaking fist, squeezing his eyes tightly closed for a moment to help settle his mind, before he opened them again to focus upon the questions written on the test sheet before him.  

A few rows over Crow could spy Angie lazily scrawling answers (he knew she'd scraped in by the skin of her teeth, not really caring for her test score, just doing enough to pass) and further towards the front of the hall was Towa already busily answering all of the questions in her cramped print. George wasn't here yet, but Crow remembered that he had come in due to a recommendation from the Roer Institute and hadn't had to take the entrance exam like the rest of them.  

Crow didn't even realise how fast time was passing until a call came from the front of the room.  

“Ten minutes to go before pens down! Make sure your names are printed at the top of your tests, or no matter how well you did, you'll fail.”  

Crow turned his page over, relieved when he saw his name printed at the top of his page. Goddess, he didn't even want to think about what he would have done if he hadn't passed because he'd forgotten to write his damned name.  

“PENS DOWN!”  

The sound of groans and pens hitting the tables filled the air, at least a hundred young adults lifting their heads from their bent positions, finally looking up from their papers. He followed the steam of people out the door, managing to spy both Angie and Towa off to the side. Crow huffed out a short laugh as he noticed Towa's flushed face, assuming correctly that Angie was already putting the moves on the shorter woman. He had half a mind to head over and get a head start on introducing himself, but before he could he spied Gareth waiting for him in the courtyard to take him home. Pushing aside his disappointment – he could talk to them another time – Crow made his way towards the older man, returning the smile he was offered.  

“All done lad?” Gareth slapped a friendly hand down upon Crow's shoulder as he led him towards the orbal truck they generally used for deliveries, but the Halcyones had decided to re-purpose it for the day so that Crow didn't have to spend several days travelling down to Trista to take the examination. Stark had wanted to tag along, but Freya wouldn't allow him to take the time off from school, so he'd gifted Crow a small good luck charm he had bought him just for the occasion.  

The little charm had looked like it was from the East; something he could imagine Rean carrying around with him.  Crow decided then and there that he would ask Stark where he had gotten it from and buy a few for Rean; just in case he decided to try doing anything stupid again. Or for himself if he had to try to stop Rean. Either way, Crow would probably need a lot of luck to stop the same things from happening again this time around.  

“Yeah, all done.” A brief smile twitched across his lips before it fell once again, Crow tiredly rubbing his hands over his face as he let Gareth guide him forwards. Goddess, Crow was not built to study, that had been more Rean's thing than his.  

Why was he doing all of this again?  

Oh, right. His pride, the chance to see Rean again and to keep him from dying. Just little, unimportant things......  

Goddess, he was tired. But it would all be worth it in the end when he could once more be able to stare into those innocent lilac eyes, no longer tainted by the cloud of death and regret.  

“Your hard work will not be in vain Crow,” Ordine murmured to him softly. “There is no need to worry.”  

“The chance to save Rean is worth more than anything else in this life.” Crow thought back to the Knight. “How can I not worry that I will fail before I can even start?” Ordine, hummed thoughtfully, but could offer no platitudes that could soothe Crow's worries.  

But that would all come later; for now, all Crow could do is wait to find out if he had passed the exam and if he had earned himself a scholarship.  

It was long, nerve-wracking months before he heard back anything; months where he drove the Halcyones nearly crazy with his almost obsessive need to wander out to the post box nearly hourly until they drove him out of the house to try to get his mind off of things. Crow would then wander down to the blacksmith shop to help out Aaron, before he too would shoo him off with a fond sigh of exasperation as Crow would make more mistakes than he fixed in his absentmindedness. The only thing that he managed to do well, was to help cull the monster population; and that was only because after one too many carelessly reckless fights, Ordine had taken to cussing him out whenever his attention wandered. Crow could still hear the ringing in his head from the sudden shouting of his Knight yelling at him. Could you go deaf from a Divine Knight yelling inside of your head?  

Honestly, Crow hadn’t been sure if he should be more alarmed or amused that his Divine Knight was cursing at him like this, though he sobered up quickly when Ordine reminded Crow that he had promised Rean in their last life that he would keep him safe. And even if this was a second chance now, Ordine was determined that he would keep his last promise to Rean.  

And then, after all of that, Crow wasn't even home when the letter arrived. He’d  tumbled through the door to the house, Stark bellowing at him from behind to 'get back here you horrible big brother!', Crow slamming the door closed with a laugh and skidding to a halt in the doorway of the hall and kitchen as he met Freya's long-suffering look with an innocent one of his own from across the table she was sat at. She shook her head at him fondly, the corners of her mouth tilting up slightly.  

Before Crow could even think about saying anything to defend himself, his eyes fell upon a thick, white envelope sitting conspicuously upon the table, eyes widening when he took note of both his name printed nearly on the front and the Thors horned lion embossed in the corner.  

“Is that...?” He asked, voice shaking just slightly, drifting almost unconsciously closer to the table, completely forgetting about the vengeful goblin hot on his heels coming for his head.  

“Aye lad, it looks like your letter has finally arrived.” Freya responded, pushing the envelope closer towards Crow's hand; he hadn’t even realised that he had drifted closer. But he didn't reach out for it, suddenly too scared to read what it said. What if he had failed? What if he...  

The front door slammed open, a dripping wet and scowling Stark stomping into the house.  

“Crow! I swear I will get you back for.... what's wrong big brother?” he paused in his tirade, noticing Crow frozen in front of the table. He peered around him, taking note of the letter that Crow was staring transfixed at. “Oh! Your letter arrived! Open it, open it! See what it says.”  

“I... yes, yes. I should open it.” Crow murmured, reaching stiffly for the envelope, fingers trembling as they slipped beneath the end flap and pried it open. Almost reluctantly, Crow pulled the thick wad of papers out, already dreading what they would say. His eyes scanned over the neatly printed text, widening in disbelief at what he read. He went back and read over the words again, and then another time when he still couldn't believe it.  

“Well, what does it say?” Stark demanded impatiently, frowning when his mother told him to be patient.  

“I passed......and I was offered a full scholarship too....” Crow spoke slowly. “I, I had the best results out of all that tested this year.... Holy shit, I can't believe it!”  

“Language lad,” Freya chastised him gently, rising from the table to embrace him. “Congratulations Crow, we knew you could do it.”  

“Yay, congrats Crow! I knew it, you're the best!” cheered Stark, jumping around them excitedly, his irritation at his brother long forgotten.  

Crow jumped slightly when another hand landed on his shoulder, a firm, supportive squeeze letting him know just who it was behind him. “Congratulations lad,” Garth grinned at him happily.  

“Yeah, I... thanks.” Crow grinned, relief filling him and making him sag.  

“Didn't I tell you there was no need to worry?” Ordine chimed in smugly. Crow sent him the middle finger in his mind, ignoring his Knight's laughter.  

That night they all celebrated Crow's good news, Freya cooking up a storm and even going so far as to invite Aaron and some of Crow's friends from the Bracer guild to join them. Crow was overwhelmed at the support he was receiving, but even so, a few hours into the celebration he slipped quietly from the house and away. Stark noticed him leaving, opening his mouth to call out to him, but fell silent as he noticed his father shaking his head at him sombrely.  

Crow made his way down familiar pathways on his own, the sounds of the festivities soon fading into the background, but the warmth still filling his heart. His feet crunched upon the gravel path he tread silently, coming to a halt before a white marble headstone, dropping into a crouch to brush a few dead leaves that had settled around the base.  

“Hey Grandpa, it's been a little while hasn't it?” Crow murmured softly. He often visited the older man's grave, but recently he had been busy studying and then panicking to be in the right frame of mind to visit. But now those reasons were no longer valid, and Crow settled himself in to have a long chat with the other man.  

“I got in to Thors too, just got the letter today. Full scholarship can you believe it? This slacker finally putting his brain to use.” Crow chuckled, before he fell silent. “I'm going to do better this time Grandpa; I promise I’ll make you proud. I won't let the past happen again.”  

Sometimes, Crow wished that he had managed to go back in time further than he had, to a time when his grandfather was still alive. But....he couldn't be too greedy, could he? He had already been given the chance to save Rean (and himself) so wishing for more would just be pushing his luck. His Grandpa would have understood, Crow knew. He wouldn't have blamed him for how he felt now.  

After a few more murmured words, Crow finally rose from the ground, bid farewell and left to re-join the party he had left. Gareth nodded approvingly to him as he re-entered, and Crow cracked a smile in response before being drawing back into the celebrations once more.  

Attending Thors for the second time, was not the easy ride that Crow had hoped it would be for him. Technically, somewhere buried deeply within his mind, he probably knew all of the things he was currently being taught, but Crow had hardly bothered learning all that much to begin with the first time, and what he had learned, he had buried so far down, that he could barely recall even the slightest amount of information from his time at Thors.  

So, it was really little surprise to him to find himself struggling once again. Crow could tell that the Halcyone's were confused about his sudden dive in grades, but none of them said anything about it, not when Crow looked happier than he had for years. This happiness could be attributed to having been able to reconnect with his friends, and although they weren't at the same place they were before he had betrayed everyone, they were getting there. Plus, the fact that Angie hadn't punched him this time around had been nice too, since Crow had been much more open to their attempts at friendship this time around, even going so far as to seek them out himself.  

They had managed to bond over their time being the guinea pigs for the new experimental class that would be formed the next year, while teasing and poking fun at Sara for being a frankly terrible educator; she was a damned fine fighter though, Crow would give her that.   

Managing to score himself the Medal of Valor again was pretty sweet too, and he prided himself on the fact that he had managed to receive it from Makarov both times around. It didn’t matter if no one else remembered, Crow did and that’s what mattered; Ordine’s congratulatory ‘well done’ was nice too.  

Other than that though, time passed oddly for Crow; the year feeling like it was both crawling along at a snail's pace and yet rocketing past so fast he could barely catch his breath.  

He broke into the Old Schoolhouse a few times, the first of which was not long after the year had begun, Crow needing something ; his skin stretched tight over his bones, fingers itching with nervous tension. He'd summoned Ordine when he had stumbled his way inside, finding nothing more than a broken and empty hall. No sign of the maze of levels that hid Valimar's testing grounds. Was the Knight still slumbering deep, beneath the hidden levels of the building?  

“Ordine? Can you sense Valimar?” Crow could not imagine how heartbroken Rean might be if his Knight was missing. He didn't know that Rean had broken the bond between Knight and Awakener before he had gone to Crow to die.  

“ Scanning surrounding areas for mana irregularities ,” hummed Ordine, gaze dimming slightly as he focused his energy on his task. “I can detect faint traces of mana far below us, enough for me to hazard a guess that it is an un-awakened Knight.” Relief flooded Crow. “It is likely that Valimar sleeps below us, awaiting Rean's return.”  

“Yeah, him and me both buddy. We're both waiting for Rean to come back to us.”  

After that, Crow would sneak out to spend time in the Old Schoolhouse on his own or with Ordine, occasionally speaking out loud and wondering if Valimar could sense them lingering above his resting place. Other times he was accompanied by his friends, Angie having caught him sneaking out one day and followed him, the four friends using the empty space to train or simply hang out together away from prying eyes. Thankfully they didn't come every time, Towa seeming to be able to read when Crow needed to be on his own and dissuading the other two from following him, the silver haired boy feeling more than thankful for the petite girl's ability to make Angie listen to her without argument.  

And then just like that, the year was over, and Crow was heading back home to Jurai for break. That meant that there were only a few months until Rean would arrive in Trista, only a few months until Crow would see him again after six years of yearning.  

If Crow was a little nervous and excitable over the break, no one chose to mention it within his hearing. He spent long days at the forge with Aaron, the older man having taken on yet another apprentice now that Crow had left to go to school, helping to train the new kid and making sure to fix up his weapons while he had the chance. Crow took as many hunts as he could from the Bracer's Guild in his free time, building up yet more stamina, strength and skill, pushing his body to remember just what it had been capable of last time. And if those two avenues were not enough to tire him out, Crow would help out in the shop with Freya and Gareth, stocking shelves or helping customers with the heavier items.  

He just couldn't let himself remain idle. Because if he did that, then the bad thoughts would begin to creep in. Things like, what if Rean didn't want anything to do with Crow this time? What if Rean didn't even come to Thors or wasn't put in Class VII? Crow wasn't sure he'd have much chance to talk to Rean if he was put into the Nobles classes, those other high society brats seeming to have their own hangouts and didn't mix with the commoners. What if.... what if Rean didn't exist in this world at all? Crow's nails dug into his palms harshly, biting into the soft flesh, agony tearing through him. He pasted a smile on his face as the customer he was helping asked if he was alright, pushing such thoughts into the back of his mind.  

Rean was here in this world with him; not his Rean, but Rean all the same. Crow wouldn't allow himself to believe anything else; the voice had offered him a second chance, not a new life.  

But then in another blink of an eye, it was time to return to Trista for his second year at Thors. A fact that was far less important than the knowledge that in just a scant few days, Rean would be occupying the same space as Crow would be.  

Six years; he'd waited six long years to see Rean again. And now finally, the wait was rapidly coming to an end.  

The shadows beneath Crow's eyes were glaringly dark on the day of his return, Freya looking at him in quiet concern but holding her tongue; she knew that nothing she said would convince Crow to stay in Jurai, even if she didn't know why. Even if Crow looked exhausted now, even if the night before the house had been filled with Crow's cries and moans of despair, his eyes were also filled with anticipation. Whatever it was that Crow had been searching for, for so long, she knew that he was about to find it.  

Crow bid them all farewell, boarding the train and trying to settle himself down for a long ride to Trista. Along the way he watched as more and more students boarded at the various stops along the way, wishing that this train passed by Ymir on the way to Trista. Instead, Crow would have to wait until they both arrived, likely until that moment they had met before the Student Council Building more than a few weeks into the new term.  

Trista finally came into view, Crow stretching out his cramped muscles and cursing himself for not getting up and moving around more. He wished he had caved in and allowed the Halcyones to spend those few extra mira and purchase a sleeper cabin seat, but he had instead opted to remain in his upright seat to sleep.  

Trista was filled with new and returning students from all over Erebonia, many of which were stumbling their way out of various stopped trains, while a few others were chauffeured to the front door. Crow made his way to the commoner dorms to drop off his things, before he made his way on to campus, waving a quick hello towards where Towa and George were standing ready to welcome the new students, noticing people's curious stares and the few red coated students hesitantly entering the grounds.  

Not wanting to hang around the entrance looking like a creep as he searched for Rean, Crow made his way towards the back of the grounds, entering the engineering building, not at all surprised to see Angie already there tinkering with the orbal bike they had all been working on for months. After over a month off, she would definitely be keen to start work on it again. Crow idly wondered if this Rean would enjoy riding it as much as his Rean had; he could still remember the look of exhilaration that had been spread across his face when he had been given the opportunity to help George and Angie with some testing; he’d looked so radiant and beautiful, Crow had wanted to kiss him.  

Without even a word of greeting, she stuck her hand out from under the bike, asking for one of the tools resting nearby. Crow obliged willingly, crouching beside her as he peered at the new additions he could make out.  

“Hey.”  

“Hey yourself,” came her muffled voice, the screwdriver clamped between her lips wobbling dangerously. “What's up? Thought you'd be out there playing pranks on all the newbies already.”  

“Nah,” Crow denied, “there's only one newbie I want to show my tricks too, and I'm not even sure he's here yet.” Crow cursed himself mentally; he hadn’t meant to reveal that.  

Angie paused in her work, sliding out from under the bike to stare at Crow with a confused expression. “Oh? A friend of yours?”  

“No, not a friend.... just someone I used to know. I'm not even sure if he's arrived yet and well, he probably doesn't even remember me anymore anyway.” Crow clarified, eyes falling away from Angie's suddenly piercing stare, hands beginning to fiddle with one of the spare spanners lying on the cover sheet, clearly unwilling to speak more on the matter. Thankfully Angie seemed to pick up on his reluctance and slid back under the bike and started ordering him around.  

“Well, if you're going to stay here, you may as well be of use to me. Hand me that wrench, would you?”  

Crow spent the rest of the morning in the engineering building, trying not to think about the boy he had been waiting to see again.  

The welcoming ceremony was as long and boring as the last three times Crow had had to experience it, and he had to constantly tell himself to keep his eyes on old Vandyke and not scan the mass of students for a dark-haired boy wearing the new red jacket of Class VII. He managed it, if only just, until the moment they all filed out of the hall, his head turning and catching a glimpse of dark hair before he was jostled from behind and pushed forwards out of the door. He tried not to glower at the poor person who had pushed him, knowing that they had simply wanted to get out of the hall and he had been blocking the entrance.  

Immediately Crow ditched his first 'class' of the day, which in reality was little more than a second orientation, already knowing all of his teachers and having said his hellos to his friends already. Instead, he headed out to the hilltop that overlooked the entrance of the Old Schoolhouse, desperate to catch another look at Rean. Honestly, Crow wasn't even the slightest bit surprised when Angie, Towa and George appeared beside him not a moment later, the other three always having his back. Goddess, he had missed them; he'd been such an idiot to abandon them and everyone else last time.  

He paced restlessly along the ridge impatiently, waiting eagerly for Class VII to make their appearance, desperate for another glimpse of Rean even if it was from so far away. Crow paused in his steps when he heard a little gasp, turning to see Towa with her hand covering her mouth.  

“O-oh!” Towa was staring at the red braided cord tying Crow's hair back. “Your hair tie looks just like one of the ornaments on one of the new students' sword!”  

Angie's eyes shot towards Towa at the reveal of this new information, before they darted quickly back towards Crow, who turned away from their stares, not wanting to reveal its significance to them yet.  

“Hmm.” was his only response, attention quickly lost as he heard the tell-tale crunch of footsteps along the worn path approaching. There was Instructor Sara leading the way, humming a song tunelessly beneath her breath, the slight tilt of her head letting Crow know that she had noticed their presence but wouldn't say anything. One by one Class VII entered the clearing, until Rean and Elliot were the only two still missing.  

Then finally, finally he was there.  

Crow felt his breath hitch, knew that the other three heard it, but thankfully remained silent. Crow's heart raced within his chest, thundering with the knowledge that he's here, he's here! He'sherehe'sherehe'shere! Rean was breathing, healthy and alive just mere arge below him, not cold and wrong and dead dead dead like he was the last time Crow had seen him.  

And then suddenly his wide crimson eyes were clashing with a curious lilac gaze, Rean's head tilting slightly to the side as though wondering why this group of seniors was staring down at them, before their stare broke as Rean turned away and followed after his classmates. Crow felt like he was gasping for breath, as though he hadn't been able to breathe before without Rean, but now that he had seen him, he could finally draw in the oxygen he so desperately needed. He wanted to stay, wanted to wait until they passed their orientation, wanted just one more look ; but the others pulled him away. They had missed the first two classes now, and there was only so much they could get away with before an irate teacher hunted them all down. So, Crow allowed them to lead him away, his head constantly turning to make sure no one had left the Old Schoolhouse while his back was turned.  

Later that day, Angie had cornered Crow, demanding to know if the person Crow had been waiting for was the person who Towa mentioned had the same cord tied around their sword. Crow hadn't said anything, but his silence had been telling, and Angie had patted him gently on the back and left it at that. Crow couldn't help but feel grateful that she hadn't pushed, he wasn't sure he would be able to explain anything to her in a way that made sense. Honestly, if this wasn’t his own life, Crow doubted it would make any sense to him either.  

After that though, it seemed as though all of Crow's courage had deserted him. He wanted to run around campus and track Rean down, to camp outside of their dorm and grab Rean in a tight hold and never let him go again. But that would just make Rean wary and confused; this Rean didn't know Crow. Didn't know how much he had missed him, how much he still ached with the guilt of running his sabre through Rean's chest and watching him bleed out in his arms. This Rean wasn't his Rean. But that didn't matter to Crow, because Rean was Rean, and that was enough.  

It had been enough for Rean, hadn’t it? A Crow for a Crow, right? Deep down, where Crow liked to push all of his intrusive thoughts, he wondered to himself if it had really been him that Rean had fallen in love with, or if he had just been a perfect replacement. Foolish, he thought to himself, Rean wouldn’t do that. But still, the fear lingered.  

Still though, the longer Crow delayed, the more his nightmares got to him. He would wake, gasping in the middle of the night, teeth clenched around the screams of despair that desperately tried to escape him, his fingers curled into fists, the imaginary blood sitting heavy upon his skin. Crow would launch himself out of his bed and race into the bathroom to scrub his hands, horror settling heavy in his gut as he stared at his reflection.  

Gone was the nineteen-year-old Crow from this life, and instead C stared back at him; his eyes cold and dead, blood streaked across his face and hair, staining his clothes.... his soul .  

Goddess, Crow wasn't sure he could actually face Rean after all.   

It was Ordine who finally managed to kick Crow out of his funk, the Knight chastising him for being a coward and for not tracking down Rean again. When Crow had snapped that it wasn't the time to do so, Ordine had called him a fool and told him that he was wasting his second chance and if he kept delaying it might end up being too late.  

Too late...? Crow's mind processed the thought sluggishly for long agonising moments, before his imagination kicked in. What if Rean found someone else to be with? Could Crow handle seeing the love of his life together with someone else? Worse then, were the images that followed these thoughts; of Rean getting hurt on a field exercise, of Rean bleeding out because Crow wasn't there to help him, of Rean lying broken and alone in the Old Schoolhouse....of Rean dying and leaving him alone again without Crow ever having had the courage to seek him out.  

Suitably cowed, Crow resolved to gather his courage and seek out Rean. And what luck! It just so happened to be around the time that he had first run in to Rean before the Student Council building that first time.  

And that is how come Crow now waited patiently around the corner for Rean to appear, his hand rising without thought to lightly touch his hair tie. He took in a deep, shaky breath. He could do this.  

And then suddenly, Rean was there, standing before the doors of the building, his head tilted back to take it in, eyes wide.  

Goddess... Crow was filled with such happiness to see Rean again; but at the same time, an unbearable sadness filled him. This wasn’t the boy he had fallen in love with; but at the same time, it was .  

With that thought in mind, Crow pushed himself to walk forwards, his legs trembling with a mix of excitement and fear, and Crow was sure that if he took just one wrong step, he would end up on his ass. His tongue felt heavy in his mouth all of a sudden, and whatever words he thought he was going to call out threatened to choke him instead, but he couldn't miss this chance. He'd been waiting for so long, and now finally his wait was over.  

“Hey there Rean!” He called out, mentally wincing as he called out Rean's name. He probably shouldn't know that already, should he? Hopefully Rean didn't think he was being creepy or anything for knowing.  

“You know my name?” Rean asked turning towards his call, his head tilting towards Crow curiously, a flash of something passing through his eyes, there and gone before Crow could even begin to decipher what it had meant. That hadn't been recognition in Rean's gaze, Crow told himself, because this Rean didn't know him. So, it couldn't possibly have been.  

But Goddess, Crow had missed the sound of his voice. He didn't ever want to live without hearing it again; wanted to hear his own name spoken in that voice again and again and again.  

“Of course, I'm your senior; I know all sorts of interesting things, the least of which is your name.” Crow replied with a wink. “How about I show you a neat trick? I'll need to borrow 50 mira though.”  

Crow could still remember the confusion he had been left feeling after the last time he tried this trick on Rean, when the other boy had caught the coin in one hand, cupping his face so tenderly with his other hand and told him he was glad he was alive. He could only thank the Crow from that other life for approaching Rean the first time around, because otherwise he might never have met Rean. What would have happened if Rean hadn't been waiting for him before the Student Council building last time? Would they have ever met?  

“Sure.” Rean handed over the requested coin, the side of his mouth quirking up just slightly, the expression intriguing Crow. Huh, he wondered what that look meant.  

“Alright, watch closely now.”  

Crow flipped the coin into the air, hands held out as though poised to catch it as it fell. Rean's gaze followed the mira as it fell, before his gaze sharpened, eyes making contact with crimson orbs and he smirked at Crow, his hand snatching the coin out of the air before it passed between Crow's outstretched hands.  

“You can't fool me with that trick again Crow.” Rean's teasing smile was a beautiful sight. One that Crow hadn't been able to see often enough last time. “Three times? Now that's just lazy.”  

Crow found his world screeching to a halt, his heart pounding in excitement and hope as realisation set in.  

This time.... this time it would appear that Rean remembered too.  

Crow raised his hands so that he could gently, reverently, cup Rean's face between his warm palms, resting his forehead against the shorter boy’s.  

“Rean....it's really you, isn't it? You're my Rean, aren't you?” Crow breathed out disbelievingly, choking back a sob when Rean nodded. “I've been longing to see you again; you've kept me waiting for so long. For six long years.”  

Rean wrapped his arms around Crow's waist, pulling him in closer against himself and burying his head in the crook of Crow's neck, his own tears dampening Crow's neck and soaking into his collar.  

“Sorry to have kept you waiting Crow, but I'm here now. And I'm not going anywhere.”  

“I would have waited an eternity just to see you again,” Crow swore, pulling back slightly to stare down in Rean's damp lilac eyes. “But now that I have found you again, I won't let you go anywhere without me again.”  

They stayed this way for a seemingly endless moment, before Crow gave in to the longing gripping his heart, dipping his face lower and touching his lips against Rean's in a tender kiss of reunion.  

Chapter Text

Crow wasn't sure just how long he stood there holding Rean in his arms, nose buried in his dark locks of hair, breathing in the scent of leather and sword oil, that clung to Rean, like a drowning man. He would have gladly kept standing there, never moving again, if it weren't for Rean gently pulling away from his grasping hands.  

“I've got to go see Towa for the student handbooks,” he explained, wanting to erase the worried furrow that had appeared between Crow's brows as he moved away.  

Crow's face cleared up immediately, a cheerful smile breaking out across his face. Well, that was an easy problem to fix then! He reached out to grab a hold of Rean's hand and tugged him into the Student Council building, towing the younger boy behind him. Crow ignored the frantic calls to wait and gentle tugs within his grip and proceeded to haul him all the way up into Towa's office, not even knocking before he barrelled into the room and startled his friend. Towa didn't even look remotely surprised at Crow's entrance, though she did seem slightly confused, her head tilting in curiosity as to why he was still at school. It was only as Rean came to a stumbling halt against Crow's back that Towa's brows flew towards her fringe in surprise, her gaze darting between Crow, with his hand still wrapped firmly around Rean's, and the younger, flustered boy standing just behind him.  

“Crow? What are you doing here?” Questioned Towa, rising from behind her desk.  

“Rean here needs the student handbooks for Class VII,” Crow jerked a thumb over his shoulder towards Rean, who still seemed to be slightly shell-shocked from being dragged all the way up two flights of stairs.  

“Crow, we can’t let her grab them,” Rean's whispered voice caught Crow's attention. “They're up pretty high and she'll fall if she tries to get them herself.”  

Crow nodded slightly in response, turning back towards Towa and watching her rifle through the numerous papers spread across the surface of her desk. “Now where could I have put them....” he could hear her mutter to herself, watching as her eyes finally turned towards one of the shelves lining the walls.  

“Aha! There they are!” exclaimed Towa, beginning to make her way towards the bookshelf.  

“Why don’t you let me grab them for you instead?” offered Rean, not waiting for an answer, before heading towards the bookcase himself, asking, “these ones up here?” He pointed towards the stack of handbooks neatly stacked on a shelf well above Towa’s reach.  

“Yes, those are the ones,” affirmed Towa. “I don’t know how they got up there though...”  

Rean reached up for the books, frowning in concentration as the tips of his fingers could barely graze the edge even as he rose up onto his tiptoes, the whole pile looking like it would come toppling down on his head too.  

“Whoa there short stuff!” Crow halted Rean’s attempt, and ignoring the slight glare sent his way for calling him short. “Just let your dashingly handsome and super tall buddy Crow grab ‘em for you yeah? Can't have them fall on your pretty little head and give you a bad impression about the way things are run here, now can we?” Crow laughed as he dodged an annoyed swipe at his arm, leaning over Rean and reaching out to grab the newly made handbooks that had somehow been stored on the top shelf.  

How had Towa even managed to put them there, he wondered. Crow had to stifle a snort of laughter at the image of Towa scaling the shelves that entered his mind, staring innocently back down at her as she tried to scowl at him as though she could guess just what he had been thinking, before she turned towards Rean.  

“Sorry about the wait on these, and thanks for coming to pick them up. I was expecting Instructor Sara to come by earlier.”  

“Ah it's fine,” Rean assured her with a smile, taking the handbooks off Crow as he approached.  

Towa watched the smile that spread across Crow's face as he drew closer to Rean, the way his hands reached out to rest against his lower back lightly and how Rean shifted slightly into the touch. Even though she had known Crow for over a year, Towa had never seen him so happy before and it made her wonder.  

“Do you two perhaps know each other from before?” Towa finally asked, just before they turned to leave after bidding her farewell.  

Rean looked over his shoulder at her in surprise, his lilac eyes darkening into something almost sorrowful before the expression faded from his face and a soft smile touched his lips. “Yes..., yes you could say that we knew each other from before.”  

Towa watched as he dipped his head in farewell, Crow offering a lazy wave over his shoulder, and couldn't help but think that there had been more meaning behind Rean's words than she understood. Perhaps one day she might even find out what that meaning was; after all, she had a feeling like she would be seeing a lot more of Rean in the future.  

Crow hardly waited for the door to close behind them before he was reaching out to grasp Rean's hand again, ignoring his murmur of dismay as several of the handbooks threatened to fall. Instead, he used his free hand to gather them up himself, never once loosening his grip on the other boy. Together they walked off campus, passing by the Lower Dormitories, neither even seeming to consider that Crow would stay anywhere but the Third Dormitory. For Rean, he had gotten so used to Crow being there that it seemed second nature to him, and for Crow, well there wasn't any chance in Gehenna that he was going to leave Rean's side if he could help it.  

The lobby of the Third Dormitory was empty when they entered, so there was no one around to question Crow's presence as they silently walked up the stairs. They entered Rean's room together, though they both paused slightly before turning into the room, eyes drifting towards the door on the other side of the hall, behind which was the space that Crow used to occupy.  

Of course, Rean still had the student handbooks in his possession, but after two lives worth of suspicious and ungrateful classmates asking why he didn't just wait for the morning, he decided not to bother handing them out tonight. Tomorrow would be soon enough to give them to everyone, with the added bonus of not having to leave Crow's side now.  

With that thought in mind, Rean stacked the handbooks neatly on his desk and made his way over towards his bed where Crow had made himself comfortable sitting on the edge. At his approach, Crow reached out and engulfed him in a hug, his arms squeezing tightly around his waist, head buried in his stomach. It wasn't long before Rean could feel the minute trembles that Crow could no longer hold back, nor the dampness that soaked through his shirt. It seemed as though the facade Crow had been holding up all this time, had finally crumbled, and strangled pleas fell from his lips.  

“You're really real Rean, you're really here, aren't you? This isn't a dream, is it? Oh Aidios please, you couldn't possibly be this cruel, could you?”  

“I'm here, I'm really here Crow.” Rean murmured, “this isn't a dream, I promise you.”  

Rean somehow managed to manoeuvre them both onto the bed, lying side by side, arms wrapped around one another so close they were breathing in one another's air. He didn't know how long they stayed that way, nor how many tears were shed by both males, before their shuddering breaths finally evened out and they simply lay there staring at one another.  

Gently, and with less than steady hands, Rean began to comb his fingers through Crow's tousled, silver hair, taking note idly that he didn't seem to be wearing his bandana anymore, his hand pausing when he reached a tie, a familiar red sword tassel that had hung from the long strands coming loose in his hands.  

“Crow...? This....it's...?” If Rean had hoped that Crow might tell him why he had the same sword tassel in his hair as Rean had upon his sword, he was destined to be disappointed as Crow remained stubbornly silent even under the weight of his searching gaze.  

If Rean didn't know just what that was, nor why he was wearing it, then Crow wasn't going to be the one to tell him. Somehow though, he had a feeling that he knew, he just wanted Crow to say the words. However, after his earlier breakdown, Crow was fresh out of the desire to experience yet another emotional moment, and so kept his lips sealed.  

“I missed you too Crow.” Rean whispered, desperately wishing he could lean forwards to press his lips softly against Crow's. But he held back, unsure if he was still allowed to do that. Did that kiss from earlier mean that Crow still felt the same way? Or had it just been borne of the weight of relief, of knowing they were no longer alone in this world? Rean wasn’t sure, and he didn’t want to ask.  

“Will you tell me Rean? Tell me why you made me be the one to....be the one who...Why me Rean? Why me?” Crow wretchedly demanded, eyes searching that heart achingly familiar lilac gaze. He needed to know, needed to understand just why Rean had chosen him to be the one to end things, why he had made Crow be the one to end his life.  

Did...did Rean hate him? Was that the reason? Vita and Roselia had said that everything Rean had done, he'd done it for him, but had he ended up resenting him in the end? Was this revenge for what he had done, what he had planned?  

“I'm sorry Crow, so sorry. I... I didn't.... I thought that....” Rean trailed off, swallowing hard to keep his emotions at bay. “I'll tell you Crow; I'll tell you everything.”  

And so, Rean started his story. “This isn't the first time I was given a second chance. Last time, that wasn't the first life I had lived either, but my second. Because in my first life, you died. And it was all my fault.”  

Crow listened as Rean described how his death had proceeded a slow descent into depression and misery in that first life. How he had become little more than a puppet controlled by the strings that Osborne held in his tight fist. Osborne that had been shot, just like Crow had done last time, but unlike last time, this Osborne hadn't died but had hidden away only to reveal himself at one of the lowest points of Rean's life and then shattering him down to his soul as he revealed the truth to him. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, couldn't believe that Rean could possibly blame himself for something he had had no control over.  

“And the reason Osborne didn't die, the reason you never managed to get your revenge.... it's, it's because I have his heart in my chest.” 'As long as this heart beats in my chest, I'm afraid victory will be out of your grasp.' Crow could remember Rean disguised as Osborne saying that to him back then. “He gave me his heart when I was a child to save me, and in the process, gave himself up to the evil that is known as Ishmelga. The curse, the 'Great Twilight' is what is keeping him alive.”  

“Rean you stupid, ignorant, fool!” Crow grit out between clenched teeth, watching as Rean flinched at his angered words. “None of that was your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, all you did was live and I'm grateful for that. You didn't kill me; you didn't force me to make the choices I did. Out of everyone to blame, you alone are the innocent one here.”  

“But you died and I couldn't save you!” Rean protested, trying to roll away from the older male, struggling against the arms that swiftly wrapped around him to hold him against Crow's chest. “It was only fair that you take out your anger out on me and get your revenge.”  

' He said a life for a life wasn't so bad' Vita had told him that hadn't she? He'd still been in shock then, unable to process what had happened, unwilling to believe the boy who had captured his heart had broken it also.  

“I'd have still died that day, whether or not Osborne was alive or not Rean. Nothing about that would have changed, except you wouldn't have been there and I would never have had the chance to meet you.” Crow held Rean tighter to his chest, resting his head against the crook of his neck, feeling the reassuring beat of his pulse beneath his skin against his cheek, the shuddering release of breaths against his ear. “And Rean, no matter what you think, I have never once felt anger towards you for any of this. But I also never wanted to be the one to take your life. I wish I didn't know what it felt like to have your blood coating my hands, or what it looked like as the light faded from your eyes. I don't want to be able to remember how cold you were afterwards, or how it felt to not have you by my side. But I’ve never been angry, and I’ve never wanted revenge on you.”  

“I'm sorry Crow, I'm so sorry.” Rean shuddered against his chest, his hands clutching at the green fabric of his jacket. “Forgive me please, I was desperate and stupid, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing you again.”  

“I'd forgive you anything Rean. Just as long as you promise to stay by my side this time.” Crow croaked.  

“I promise you; I won't leave your side.”  

They both knew that there was lots more that they needed to speak of, but they were tired. Emotionally more than physically. For years, they had been waiting for this moment and now the relief that they were feeling, not just at reuniting with one another, but knowing that they weren't the only ones who remembered......it was enough to leave them drained. It didn't take long for their words to taper off and their eyes to flutter closed, hands and arms still wrapped around the other to hold them close.  

Rean woke a few hours later when Crow began muttering anxiously in his sleep, his body tensing and shifting restlessly in his loose hold. He wasn't sure if he should wake the other up or let him dream, not until he caught the anguished cry of his own name escape Crow's lips. His own lips pressed tightly together, guilt weighing heavily on his conscience as he realised just what Crow was likely dreaming of. He couldn't believe that he had thought it would be a good idea to have Crow be the one to end his life last time, couldn't believe that he hadn't realised just how much it would affect the other man....  

How could he have been so blind and stupid? Why hadn't he listened when Vita warned him against his foolish plan?  

Gently, Rean combed his fingers through Crow's sweaty silver locks, shushing him and whispering soothing words into his ears as he drew him closer with the arm wrapped around his waist.  

“I'm sorry Crow, I'm here now. I'm not dead, you haven't killed me. I'm here...I'm here, I'm here .” Whispered Rean, trying to soothe the sleeping man. 'Oh Aidios, what had he done to Crow?' Rean thought despairingly to himself; he'd known what he was doing would hurt Crow, but he had just never realised it would affect him this much or for this long. Not now, now that he too had been given a second chance to fix things; though Rean wondered what it was that Crow was trying to change.  

It really never occurred to him that Crow was trying to save him, just as he had tried to save Crow last time; he'd never realised just how much the other man cared for him. Rean had never been very good at understanding just how much people cared for him; how irreplaceable he was to everyone.  

Suddenly, Crow woke with a cry, eyes flying open and hands already reaching out to grab Rean's body to keep him from crumbling to the ground. He startled when his hands met warm flesh, his face pressed against cool cotton, a steady heartbeat thudding reassuringly beneath his ear. He drew in a shaky breath, tilting his head up, wanting, needing, to see, to know, to reassure himself that it hadn't all been a dream, that Rean really was here in his arms.  

Worried lilac eyes stared down at him, Rean's mouth tilted down in a worried frown.  

Thank the Goddess, it hadn't all been a dream, Crow thought shakily. Unable to bring himself to speak, Crow pulled Rean even closer, until not an inch of space separated them, and they were pressed together so tightly that it was almost uncomfortable. But he needed this, needed the closeness, and Rean seemed to understand that, if his lack of protest was anything to go by. Perhaps Rean needed their closeness also.  

The rest of the night passed by restlessly, neither boy really able to let themselves fully relax and fall asleep after Crow's nightmare; too many fears keeping them both awake. The sun had just risen by the time they decided to give up on lying restlessly in bed, both making the decision to rise, Rean suggesting that they head down to make breakfast; Crow grumbling that Sharon couldn't arrive quickly enough to handle all of the cooking for them instead. Rean’s quiet chuckle, acting as a balm to his battered soul.  

It was two very tired and haggard boys who exited Rean's room that morning to head down to the kitchen, moving around one another with the ease of familiarity; both sharing little touches here and there to the complete and utter bewilderment and mortification of the others as one by one, they walked in on them; Elliot squeaking out a sound of shock, Machias turning an alarming shade of purple (Rean wasn't sure if it was rage or embarrassment at his and Crow’s closeness), while Gaius' brows rose sharply towards his hairline in surprise. Jusis of course pretended not to notice either of them, still caught up in his own head and Rean was determined to pull him out; hopefully without having to get gored this time. Honestly, he wasn't sure how Crow would cope with seeing that, and it had been painful enough the first two times it had happened without going through it a third time. As for the girls, well Rean was a little uncomfortable about all of the speculative stares he was getting, certain he didn’t want to know what it was they were thinking.  

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Rean cringed as Instructor Sara's voice floated out towards him, having hoped that she would have either already left (unlikely), or still be asleep so as not to notice Crow's presence here in the dorm. He wondered if bribing her with food would make her stop talking. Somehow though, he didn't think so, judging by the gleeful look on her face anyway. “I have to say Rean, you didn't strike me as the type to bring home someone you just met. And the trickster of Trista no less. Bit of a dark horse, aren’t you?”  

“Are you saying that my charm isn't enough to woo my underclassman upon first meeting, Instructor?” Crow clutched at his chest dramatically, “you wound me.”  

“Instructor Sara, it’s really not like that!” insisted Rean, face red in embarrassment. “We’re friends, but we haven’t seen each other in a long time.”  

Sara narrowed her eyes at the pair of boys standing before her, sharp gaze noticing the dark bags beneath both of their eyes and the way that they seemed to orbit one another, sharing the same space so comfortably. There definitely was more to the story, but she remained silent on her observations for now, simply snorting a laugh at Crow's attempt at diffusing the rapidly rising tension and Rean’s not at all suspicious explanation.  

“Hmm, is that what you kids are calling it these days?”  

“Why Instructor Sara, how scandalous!” Crow exclaimed, hands rising to cover his mouth in faux shock, while Rean elbowed him in reprimand.  

“Yeah, yeah whatever you say,” Sara returned, good naturedly. “Now, shouldn’t you be getting back to your own dorm to study? From what I hear, you’re not doing so great already.”  

“What are you talking about Instructor? I earned myself a scholarship to Thors on my own merit!” protested Crow.  

“Really?” Questioned Rean in surprise, a smile spreading across his face. “Congratulations Crow, that’s so amazing!”  

Sara snorted a laugh as Crow flushed slightly at the praise, almost hating to break the mood. Almost. The amount of trouble Crow had made for her last year, was enough to wither away any sympathy she might have felt.  

“Yeah, well don’t get too excited. Crow hasn’t done too much studying since then and is barely passing his classes now.”  

She watched as Rean’s smile faded and he shot Crow a look, eyebrows lowering in disapproval, while Crow laughed nervously, rubbing at the back of his tilted head. There seemed to be an entire conversation going on silently between them that no one else seemed to catch, before Crow’s shoulders slumped in defeat and he sighed heavily.  

“Ok, yeah. I guess I’ll head off now...” He stole a few pieces of toast as he turned to leave, before freezing in place for a moment, a deer in the headlights look crossing his face.  

“I’ll walk you out,” Rean suddenly appeared at his elbow, hand gripping the edge of his jacket tight enough to turn his knuckles white.  

“But it’s.... only a few steps to the door?” Machias trailed off, Rean and Crow already out of the door.  

By the door, Rean stood gripping Crow tightly, almost afraid that if he let the other boy out of his sight, he would disappear. If the tight grip that Crow held him in return was of any indication, Crow obviously felt similarly.  

“Rean...”  

“Why don’t you come with me on my errands today?” suggested Rean abruptly, hoping that Crow would agree, even if his face did scrunch up slightly in dismay. “Please Crow. I don’t... I don't think I can handle letting you out of my sight just yet. Just... just in case.”  

“I... yeah ok. I guess I can be the gopher’s gopher today.” Agreed Crow with a slightly put-upon sigh. Ideally, Crow had wanted to spend the day with Rean talking more about what had happened the last time and work out what they were going to do this time, but he hadn’t taken into account Rean’s need to help any and every person in Trista. He wondered just how Rean had managed to juggle his desire to do whatever was possible to change the future and still be there lending a helping hand to anyone who needed it.  

A sudden thought hit Crow then, and he smiled down at Rean, causing the dark-haired boy to tilt his head at him in question.  

“You have an exploration of the Old Schoolhouse today, don’t you?” he grinned, “We can go wake up the old boy and reunite the two of you as well!” Crow could feel his smile fading from his face as he took in the look of sorrow that flashed through Rean’s eyes, before he hid it from view.  

“Y-yeah, that sounds great!” Rean replied, strangely subdued.  

“Rean?” Something wasn’t right here; Rean should be just as eager to reunite with Valimar as he had been with Ordine, in fact Crow was a little surprised that Rean hadn’t already tried sneaking back into the Old Schoolhouse yet; but for some reason Rean looked more like he was about to cry than anything else.  

“It’s nothing,” Rean brushed him off, letting go of his hold on Crow’s clothing and turning towards his letterbox. “We’ve still got a few other things we need to do before that anyway.”  

Obviously, the subject was closed for now, but Crow wasn’t going to let the subject drop. Sooner or later, he was going to make Rean tell him just what that look was for. Too many secrets had been kept between them both last time, and Crow wouldn’t allow the same thing to happen here; not if it meant the difference between the same thing happening as last time and them getting to live out the rest of their lives together.  

Crow groaned silently as he trailed behind Rean as they made their way back into Trista for what felt like the fiftieth time, to buy some flowers for Linde to paint. He glared at the back of Rean’s head when Linde suddenly appeared behind them, running to catch up to them and asking if they could buy her a grand rose also. Crow wasn’t sure just what the odd smile on Rean’s face was all about, too busy grumbling that she could have just run the last couple of hundred metres and grabbed her stupid flowers herself. He hadn’t had the chance to really speak with Rean at all, all day, as they’d been far too busy solving everyone else’s problems rather than working on a solution to their own.   

Whatever they might be. Honestly, Crow wasn’t too sure the reason everything had happened before; just a vague knowledge of why Rean had chosen him to kill him, but not really understanding why he had had to die in the first place. Perhaps Vita and Roselia had told him, but well, Crow hadn’t really been in the right place to listen at the time.  

At lunchtime though, Crow had all but dragged Rean off to Recette’s to get some lunch, ignoring his protests and practically forcing him to sit and eat, rather than run off with his food in hand.  

By the time mid-afternoon rolled around, Crow was so done. He honestly couldn’t understand just how Rean managed to do this every damned free day. But there was still the Old Schoolhouse investigation to go, and that is what Crow had been looking forward to. Not only was it a chance to really let loose and test his strength and skill, but it would be a great opportunity for Rean and Valimar to reconnect; even if they wouldn’t be able to come back until later for him.  

Crow sat on the grass and idly plucked at the stalks as he watched Rean call a couple of his classmates to help out, snickering in amusement as they stared at him in surprise when they arrived and caught sight of him; Rean sitting at his side, head resting on his shoulder tiredly.  

Rean looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, a welcoming smile etched on his face as he caught sight of Elliot and Giaus drawing nearer. He had tried calling Emma too, but this time she had been busy, just like that first time.  

“Hey guys, thanks for agreeing to help out,” Rean said as he pulled himself back up onto his feet.  

“It is no trouble Rean,” Gaius spoke softly, eyeing Crow as he stood behind Rean. “Will you be joining us then?”  

“Yup! How could I possibly refuse a request from my cute junior?” Crow grinned teasingly, throwing his arm around Rean’s shoulders and ruffling his hair, to Rean’s great annoyance.  

“No one asked you for help, you volunteered,” grumbled Rean, neatening his hair and turning back to his classmates. “This is Crow by the way; I don’t know if he introduced himself this morning or not. Just ignore him though, he probably won’t say anything worthwhile anyway.” Serenely ignoring the ‘hey!’ of protest coming from Crow, Rean suggested they begin their exploration.  

Approaching the door to the Old School house, Crow took note of the minute hesitation that Rean showed before reaching out to unlock the door; Rean’s hand pressing momentarily against the old wood, his eyes squeezing shut as he drew in a shaking breath.  

“Please...” Crow barely managed to catch the broken whisper, his brows drawing down into a frown as he gazed at Rean. Just what in gehenna was going on here? He wished he could stop Rean and ask him, but with the others standing just behind them, waiting to enter the building, Crow knew there was no way Rean would say anything. He’d just have to wait and keep an eye on him to make sure he wasn’t about to do something foolish again.  

To be truthful, Crow couldn’t remember the Old School house being this easy to traverse before, though to be fair, he had also joined Class VII much later on, when they had been far deeper into their exploration. That being said, he almost felt as though there wasn’t a lot for him to do as he picked off any enemies that drew too close to Gaius or Elliot, Rean managing just fine on his own; not that he didn’t keep a close eye on him too, it was just that Rean didn’t need Crow to protect his back. But that wouldn’t stop him from watching just in case anyway; you never knew what could go wrong.  

At the end of the floor, the boss was easy decimated with a few quick slashes from Rean’s tachi and Crow’s sabre. He ignored the wide-eyed looks of surprise shot towards his archaic blade, focusing on taking down the monster as quickly as possible. Crow still needed to talk to Rean, and they had wasted almost the entire day doing these tasks for the Student Council already.  

Elliot and Gaius left them as they exited the building, bidding them both a tired farewell as they trudged back towards the dorm, for a rest before dinner. Crow trailed behind Rean as he headed to turn in their task to Principal Vandyke, averting his eyes from the older man’s piercing gaze, as he loitered behind Rean as he gave his report.  

But finally, they were done for the day, and Crow wasn’t going to let anything stop him from finally sitting down and getting Rean to talk. They swung past the cafeteria for some sandwiches, and then, instead of heading back to the Third Dormitory where they were sure to be interrupted, Crow led Rean back to his own room in the Lower Class Dorms.  

Crow noted the way that Rean looked around his room curiously, taking note of the small, nostalgic smile that tilted his mouth upwards at the sight of his deck of Blade cards; the smile vanishing not a moment later when he caught sight of the still bloodied coin resting on his bedside table.  

Crow’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Rean drift towards that macabre reminder of his past, hand reaching out to touch the coin, only to halt, not even a rege separating him from the stained metal.  

 
“You... you kept this?” Withdrawing his hand without touching the coin, Rean turned towards Crow, a look he couldn’t quite decipher flashing across his face. 

Crow nodded, throat tight and unable to speak in that moment. He watched as Rean’s hand slipped into his own pocket, another 50 mira coin being withdrawn and caressed gently between Rean’s fingers.  

“So did I.”  

Crow wasn’t sure who moved first, only that all of a sudden, his arms were full of Rean, and he was squeezing the other boy as tightly as he could, being held just as tightly in return. Aidios he had missed the boy; had clung to the memory of him from his last life, certain that even if they met again in this life, that this Rean would not be his. But he was, and Crow thanked the Goddess, or whoever it had been who had given them a second and third chance, for letting them be here together.  

It was almost funny, how they had both kept this little coin that had started their acquaintance, to remember the other by.  

Finally, Crow led them over to his bed, laying down on his side and pulling Rean down to curl up beside him tucking the smaller boy beneath his chin, resting his cheek against Rean’s soft hair. Slowly, Rean began to speak, telling Crow what he had been doing up until the moment they had met again.  

“... And I’ve tried looking in Radio Trista for Vita or Misty, but it doesn’t appear that she’s there this time.” Sighed Rean, forehead resting against Crow’s chest. “I thought about trying to search for her like I did last time, but somehow I don’t know if that would work this time.”  

“Perhaps since Vita and I aren’t linked together, since she didn’t help guide me to Ordine, she isn’t here to keep an eye on things?” suggested Crow, idly rubbing Rean’s back slowly.  

“Maybe, but she is still sure to know about Valimar in the Old Schoolhouse, or at least suspect. Though to be honest, I’m not even sure she’ll be working with the Noble Alliance this time if you’re not with them. She mentioned she was only interested in the fight between the Divine Knights. And if they don’t have one, then I’m unsure if she’d bother allying herself with them.” Crow’s brow furrowed at the slight hitch in Rean’s voice as he spoke the Ashen Knight’s name.  

“I don’t know then, but we still have time to work things out. The civil war won’t start until October, assuming things run along the same timeline. Until then, we can keep thinking of ideas of what we can do. But first things first, tonight we are going to sneak into the Old Schoolhouse and reunite you with Valimar!”  

“Yeah, ok,” whispered Rean, hands tightening into fists around his handfuls of Crow’s jacket. “If that’s the plan for tonight though, I should probably be getting back so that I can have at least a little bit of sleep before then.”  

“Sure,” agreed Crow, “I’ll walk you back.”  

It showed just how terrified they both were to lose sight of the other, that Rean didn’t even protest this, just nodded silently and rose from the bed. They walked in silence through Trista towards the Third Dormitory, drawing to a halt when they reached the front door. Crow took Rean in his arms again, embracing him tightly and pressing a quick, hard kiss against the top of his head.  

“Everything will be alright Rean; I promise you that we’ll get through all of this. Together.”  

Crow watched as Rean nodded silently, before turning and walking into the dorm, the door closing with a soft click. He knew Rean expected them to meet up later, but Crow wondered why he should bother walking all the way back to his own dorm for a short nap, only to have to walk all the way back here in less than a few hours. He should just stay here instead and cut down on the wasted time walking back and forth. But how could he get into Rean’s room, Crow wondered, knowing that he couldn’t just walk in the front door and up the stairs. Well he could , but someone was likely to stop and question him if he did that.  

Walking around the back of the building, Crow eyed Rean’s window on the second floor, judging the distance from the ground to the small balcony. He could totally make that, Crow decided, taking a few steps back, before taking a running leap at the wall; scrambling a few awkward steps up the bricks before managing to grasp the wooden guard rail.  

Crow was almost certain that Sara at least could hear his less that graceful attempts to climb up to Rean’s window, in fact he managed to catch sight of her laughing face in her window above him; but she had the decency to not only allow him to creep into Rean’s room, but to pretend she hadn’t seen him. Crow knew that her generosity would likely come with a price though, and he had some blackmailing to look forward to some time in his future.  

Hauling himself up onto the narrow ledge that the window opened out onto, Crow attempted to open it, only to curse when he realised that it was locked. He didn’t even need to look up to be able to hear Sara’s laughter this time, the sound loud even through her own window. Crow promptly looked up with a scowl, flipping her the bird, before turning and sheepishly knocking on Rean’s window.  

Rean appeared half a minute later, peering out in surprise, already dressed in his pyjamas. He let Crow into the room, moving out of the way so that he could clamber into the room, stumbling when he caught his foot on the sill.  

“Whoa there, careful! Instructor Sara will hear you if you make too much noise.” Rean chastised gently, reaching out to steady Crow. “Besides what are you even doing here so early? I thought we were going to meet at the Old Schoolhouse in a few hours?”  

“Yeah, considering she was laughing at me from her window I’m pretty sure she knows I’m here already.” Informed Crow, pulling Rean into his arms, soaking in his warmth. “Besides I thought I’d save myself some time and sleep here tonight.” He smiled winsomely when Rean just stared blankly at him before sighing in resignation.  

“Ok, ok fine. Just...take off your boots and jacket and get onto the bed.” he sighed, climbing into the bed himself and wedging his body against the wall to make enough room for Crow to lay down too.  

Crow grinned, quickly kicking off his boots and throwing his jacket carelessly over the back of Rean’s chair. He settled himself in quickly, pulling the quilt up to cover them both and rolling onto his side to stare at Rean’s tired face.  

“Night Rean, sleep well,” whispered Crow, watching as Rean’s eyes fluttered closed even as he mumbled a ‘goodnight’ in return. Pressing a chaste kiss to Rean’s head, Crow let sleep overtake him too.  

Crow grumbled in annoyance as someone shook his shoulder, a soft voice urging him to wake up. Ignoring that voice and the persistent shaking, Crow rolled over and buried his face into his pillow, a small hum of pleasure escaping him when the shaking finally stopped.  

“Crow,” Rean murmured, carding his fingers through Crow’s tousled hair, tugging gently at the ends to wake up the stubborn boy currently using his stomach as a pillow. “We need to get going soon if we want to get through the Old Schoolhouse tonight.”  

“Mrgh,” Crow grunted, squeezing his eyes closed tighter. No, he was comfortable where he was, he didn’t want to wake up just yet; but he did want Rean to be reunited with Valimar as soon as possible, he thought with a groan, finally surrendering his hold on sleep. “Yeah, I’m up.”  

As quickly and quietly as possible, Crow slipped his jacket and shoes on, before being kicked out of the room while Rean got dressed. He grumbled quietly to himself that it shouldn’t have mattered if he’d stayed, he’d seen Rean naked before anyway; but Rean had just turned red and shut the door firmly in his face when he’d pointed that out.  

It wasn’t long before they were sneaking down the stairs and out the front doors, pausing briefly to breathe in the crisp night air. Rean looked up at Crow almost shyly, reaching out to twine their fingers together as they made their way towards the school. Rean didn’t even frown at Crow when he picked the lock on the front gates, just rolled his eyes fondly with a little huff of laughter.  

If the Old Schoolhouse looked gloomy during the daytime, it looked downright forbidding during the night. Crow didn’t have the memories like Rean did from the first time they had discovered Valimar, so he didn’t realise that the atmosphere now, was nothing compared to that magic charged night when the barrier had surrounded the building. Cautiously, he followed Rean’s lead, until they entered the main chamber and descended the elevator to the first level, then Rean dropped back for some reason. Hesitating.  

“What’s up Rean?” he questioned, not liking how pale Rean was looking all of a sudden.  

“Nothing... it’s nothing.” Rean brushed Crow off, drawing his tachi as he led the way into the first room. “Let’s just get this over with yeah?”  

“Let’s do this!” unholstering his pistols, Crow prepared to defeat the monsters that had been creeping ever closer to them as they spoke. “Come on Rean, show me what you’ve got!”  

It took hours for the two of them to clear the many levels of the Old Schoolhouse, though certainly less than when Rean had attempted it on his own the last time; but it gave them the chance to observe the other’s current abilities, each taking note of where they might need improvement.  

“You’ve gotten stronger,” remarked Rean, eyeing the rapidly disappearing remains of the latest group of defeated monsters.  

“Yup, you betcha. I’ve been working at the local smithy back home to gain strength and all that jazz. I think it was worth it though, don’t you? Just check out these guns.” Crow finished with a smirk, flexing his arms suggestively.  

However, both the gesture and the innuendo flew right over Rean’s head, the younger boy tilting his head consideringly, eyeing the orbal pistols held in Crow’s hands. Crow had opted for the pistols to give him more range as opposed to Rean’s close-range fighting with his tachi, to give them greater coverage; it also allowed him to cast artes easier when necessary.  

“They look different from the ones you used to have,” he pointed out, his curiosity obvious.  

Crow shook his head in amusement, ignoring the snort of laughter that threatened to escape him at Rean’s obliviousness.  

“Stark gave them to me for my birthday a few years ago, and I’ve made several modifications here and there too,” he explained. “Same with my sabre. I drew up the plans, and Aaron smithed the blades.”  

Rean’s eyes trailed down towards the purple and gold braiding, wrapped around the grip of Crow’s sabre, still sheathed along his back just in case, then flitting towards the tie holding back Crow’s hair, before they rose and met Crow’s steady gaze. Warmth filled him, as combined with the look that Crow pinned him with, it let Rean know that the choices had been deliberate; a way to remember Rean when he hadn’t been there by Crow’s side.  

“That’s enough of you checking me out now,” Crow teased Rean gently, needing to dispel the mood that was beginning to overtake them. Rean snorted out a laugh, but obediently turned away and began moving forwards again. “Come on now, let’s go wake up your Knight!”  

Chapter Text

Crow grimaced slightly at the sound of metal screeching against metal, his sabre sliding down along the blade of Rean’s tachi as the shorter boy blocked his strike, before breaking their soft lock and countering him. Skipping backwards hastily to avoid losing any of his limbs, Crow scrutinised Rean’s form critically.  

“You’ve improved,” he observed, panting slightly as he sidestepped another strike, ducking as a fire arte flew over his head, the heat of the flames warming his cold skin as it passed overhead. “You’re even better now than you were last time.”  

“Yeah, well, I’ve had time to practice.” Rean responded, circling Crow slowly, looking for an opening. “I mentioned it before, but you’ve gotten stronger too.”  

“I’d hope so. I really wish that all of our strength and abilities had come back with us too. It was such a pain having to re-train my body all over again; you can’t even imagine how irritating and difficult it was.” Rean stared at Crow with a disbelieving look upon his face, his tachi dropping slightly in his surprise.  

“This is the third time I’ve lived this, Crow. I have had to grow stronger again and retrain myself. Every. Single. Time, I’ve been thrown back into the past.”  Rean punctuated his words, with slashes of his tachi against Crow’s sabre, his scowl enough to make Crow feel uneasy. “So quit complaining about having to do it once, and don’t tell me that I can’t imagine how hard it is because I’ve done it. Twice.”  

“I mean, you can’t have been that weak last time surely?” Crow questioned, dodging the arc slash headed towards him. Crow could still remember just how strong Rean had been last time; just how difficult it had been to stand against him. Even to this day, Crow wasn’t sure if Rean had been holding back during their fights or not.  

“When I was given a second chance last time, I was only taken back to the start of the first term.” Rean’s tachi wavered slightly, lilac eyes falling away, and although Crow could take the opening Rean had left and attack him, he didn’t. He wanted to hear what Rean had to say. “You wouldn’t remember, since you’re not the same as the first Crow; but I was weak, so damned weak. I was a beginner of the Eight Leeves school and so unsure of my path and so scared of the power within myself, that I wasn’t really taking it seriously. I only ended up achieving my intermediate status during our trip to Ymir.”  

Crow frowned slightly at Rean’s words, not liking being compared to or reminded of that original Crow from Rean’s first life. He didn’t like knowing that there had been another him, that Rean had fallen in love with, someone that was Crow, but not him at the same time.  

“How...how long after the Civil War did you live before you returned to the past?” Rean asked tentatively.  

Crow averted his gaze, his sabre dropping down until the front blade was pointed towards the ground. Their spar was over, he couldn’t bring himself to continue fighting Rean; not now, not with the current topic they were discussing.  

“It hadn’t. The war hadn’t ended yet.” He clarified, when Rean made a noise of confusion. “I just, you’d died Rean and I had tried to do the right thing and go to Trista to fight in your stead, but Scarlet got the drop on me and nearly knocked me out. Everyone... they defended me and ordered me to leave them behind, like... like some sort of coward! And Ordine listened to them and took me away to Eryn.”  

Rean was surprised to hear that events seemed to have played out the same as in his first life; though with Crow taking his place in the story instead.  

“Afterwards, after I woke up... I... they’d, Rose and Vita had put a stasis spell on you or something. I sat with you for hours after I woke, just holding you.” Screaming and crying, begging Aidios to return Rean to him. He turned away then, not wanting Rean to see the pain in his eyes, the feeling still so raw, even though it had been years in the past (or was it future?) since it had happened. “You wouldn’t know, but I chose to bury you in Himmel cemetery, overlooking Heimdallr.”  

Rean froze, his eyes darting up to stare at the older boy. No, there was no way; surely? How had Crow known?  

“I’d followed you that night during our field study, and saw you break down there. I didn’t understand why at the time, but later, I managed to put the pieces together. And I guess I wanted your final resting place to be the same, or something. I don’t even know anymore.” Suddenly Crow wanted to change the subject, he didn’t want to speak about Rean’s death or the time afterwards. “I was sent back not too long after that,” he finished abruptly.  

Crow startled in surprise as warm, gloved fingers touched his own freezing cold hand, turning to look into Rean’s compassionate lilac eyes.  

“I...” Crow’s eyes pleaded with Rean not to continue. Rean cleared his throat, to try to remove the lump of emotion that suddenly felt like it was choking him. “In my first life, even after you died, I wasn’t offered the chance to go back and change things. I had to keep on living for months after that; had to keep living with the pain and guilt of your death weighing heavily on my chest.”  

“It wasn’t your fault, Rean; I don’t know how many times I have to keep telling you this.” Crow murmured lowly.  

Rean smiled heartbreakingly sadly at Crow; his eyes filled with an old grief.  

“You keep saying that, but I just can’t bring myself to believe it. But in response to your question Crow, I was weak. So goddess damned weak that first time. I can’t let that happen again; I can’t let myself fail that badly again.”  

Crow wanted to lean forwards, wanted to kiss away the pain that he could see painted so clearly across Rean’s face; but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to. Did Rean still feel the same way about him as last time? Or did the memories of Crow dying or being killed by him destroy any feelings he had once held for Crow?  

Crow knew that they had been touching one another a lot since their reunion, but at the same time, he thought that that could simply be put down to the feeling of relief and happiness that they felt, knowing that the other boy was alive and that they both remembered.  

It didn’t occur to him that Rean might be having the exact same thoughts; that he too was holding himself back.  

But Crow had wasted so much time in his last life, had had to wait for six years to have this second chance with Rean now, so there was no way he was going to let uncertainty stop him from getting what he wanted. He knew that this wasn’t really the time to be asking, but perhaps the right time didn’t exist for them; maybe they needed to create the right time themselves.  

“Rean? I know this is stupid, after everything we have been through, but I need to ask you... do you still feel the same way about me as you used to? Do you still love me?” Crow had never felt so wretched in his life as he did in that moment, waiting for Rean to answer him.  

“O-of course I still love you, Crow!” Rean burst out. “I was afraid that you wouldn’t love me any more after what I made you do, and what I’ve told you.”  

“You mean about being Osborne’s son or thinking you had gotten Crow killed?” questioned Crow. He frowned as he felt Rean flinch. “I don’t care if you are his son Rean. I will never be able to forgive him for what happened to my grandfather or Jurai, but I am thankful to him for keeping you alive. But he doesn’t even matter to me Rean, because you are not him and nothing he has done is your fault. And as for me dying, Rean, it’s clear that it was Crow’s own stupid choices that lead to him dying, and nothing you could have done would have changed that.”  

Sometimes Crow wondered where all of the anger and the thirst for revenge he had felt for Osborne had gone, had it simply disappeared when he had been sent back? Of course that thought would be foolish in the extreme, and deep down, Crow knew that there was still a huge well of resentment towards the other man for what he had done. But he also knew where the path seeking revenge could lead him, had walked that road last time, and he knew that getting revenge wouldn’t change things, not really; nor would it make him happy. Not anymore, maybe not ever. He’d just been too blinded by righteous fury to realise this; they all had.   

“Do you really mean that Crow?”  

“I do Rean. I can’t imagine a life without you in it. You heard me before, right? I didn’t even last a week without you last time; how could I possibly live a lifetime? You’re much stronger than I am, you at least kept living after I’d... after Crow had died.”  

And there Crow went, talking about that other Crow again like he was a different person all together. Deep within his mind, where the dark and twisted thoughts liked to fester, Crow wondered if he was simply a replacement for that other Crow. Was it really him that Rean loved? Or was he just a convenient substitute who just so happened to look the same?  

It wasn’t him that Rean had taken a risk on a second chance for, was it? No, that had been the other Crow.  

Perhaps if he was less emotionally compromised, Crow might have realised just how foolish his fears actually were. But Crow pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind once more, reaching out to pull Rean into his arms. It didn’t matter, he told himself ( lied to himself his mind whispered), because the other Crow wasn’t here now; he was.  

They sank to the ground together, Rean’s legs thrown around Crow’s waist, his head buried against his neck, just breathing slowly. Their arms were wrapped tightly around one another, Crow leaving little kisses upon Rean’s face and hair, needing to reassure himself that Rean was there in his arms; that he was allowed to lean forwards and kiss him and hold him as tightly as he could until Rean’s body knew the imprint of his own and never forgot it; not even if they were to be given chance after chance after chance to go back and try to undo their past mistakes.  

“Dawn approaches Crow, you had best return Rean to the dorm before someone notices your absence.” Ordine’s voice startled Crow slightly, having fallen into a light doze, his head resting against Rean’s dark head of hair. The sound of his Knight’s voice reminded Crow of the events of the night they had entered the Old Schoolhouse to awaken Valimar, and everything that had happened.  

Crow remembered being surprised that Rean hadn’t seemed as excited about regaining his Knight as he had thought he would be. He’d noticed there had been something a little off the first time he had mentioned it, but he had put that down to his imagination playing tricks on him. But then he’d noticed the same reaction again. And again, until finally Crow had had to admit, that Rean really was acting strangely.  

That of course, didn’t mean that Rean would tell him just why he was acting oddly, though Crow really should have expected that. Rean had always been a bit secretive when it had come to him; from what Crow knew now, it sounded like it was fitting karma or payback for the things Crow had done in that first life.  

Crow had noticed Rean’s confusion as they had had to battle their way through all of the floors of the Old Schoolhouse, that brief moment of stunned surprise when the elevator had locked them out of the floors that they had not cleared yet, some emotion that Crow wasn’t able to catch, but looked suspiciously like grief, crossing his face. It hadn’t been until the fourth level that Rean had broken, questioning why they were being forced to repass the trials, when he hadn’t had to last time.  

“What is going on here? Why are the floors locked? This didn’t happen last time!” exclaimed Rean, tugging at his hair as he tried to press the dimmed button for the seventh level again to no avail.  

“What do you mean Rean?” questioned Crow in confusion. “I had to redo all of my trails again to awaken Ordine this time too.”  

“But I didn’t have to last time! Last time Valimar was already waiting for me when I arrived! He...” Rean’s voice trailed off, a look of devastation making his face crumble.  

“Rean?” Crow asked worriedly.  

“It’s nothing Crow, it’s...... forget it.” Crow nodded slowly, watching as Rean turned away from him without another word.  

‘ Ordine? What did Rean mean? Why wouldn’t Rean have had to pass his trials again last time?’  

‘It is up to the Knight to set the conditions of their trials, if Valimar decided that Rean did not need to pass them again last time, that would have been his decision to make.’  

‘Then why does Rean have to go through the trails again this time?’ Crow wondered.  

Ordine hesitated, enough to spark curiosity in Crow’s mind. ‘ It is not my place to say.’ And that was that; Crow knew he wouldn’t get anything further from the Knight about what was currently going on.  

Still though, Crow was worried that something was really wrong, especially as Rean seemed to be almost reluctant to open the last door that would begin the final trial to once again, awakening Valimar. At least he had stayed in the one place every time, Crow thought pointedly with an image of a raised brow sent towards Ordine. His Knight had simply ignored him, Crow huffing a short laugh at the lack of response. Yeah, yeah; he knew it was his own fault that Ordine had had to seek him out, and he was glad that his old friend had trusted him enough to do so.  

But that just brought up more questions in Crow’s mind, because Rean and Valimar had shared two lifetimes together, so their bond should have been even stronger than his and Ordine’s. There was no way a Knight and Awakener who had outflew and outsmarted him, could have only a superficial bond; they had been far too coordinated for that to be true.  

Eventually, Crow grew tired of waiting for Rean to open the door and triggered the opening mechanism himself, thankful that it responded to him, even though he wasn’t a possible candidate to become Valimar’s Awakener (was it possible to awaken more than one Knight?). He threaded the fingers of their hands together, stepping through the doorway and allowing the otherworldly battlefield for the final fight to settle around them. Rean seemed to freeze in place, his eyes tracking over the numerous graves that filled the space, swords, staves and guns all telling the story of other Awakeners who had failed a rivalry.  

Would they both end up here one day too? He wondered.  

The atmosphere began to change and reluctantly, Crow released Rean’s hand, knowing that they would soon need to fight Loa Erebonius.  

The appearance of the fragment of the Great One seemed to knock Rean out of his own head, and for the first time since they had entered the seventh floor of the Old Schoolhouse, he lost his hesitation and fear.  

With their combined experience of defeating this enemy four times previously, the fight was almost laughably easy. Rean would dart in while Crow hung back and offered support via his ARCUS, throwing out a few AoE spells to deal with the annoying pests that kept respawning. Crow would deny it to anyone who asked, but he may have had a few close calls because he was distracted with watching Rean dart between enemies, tachi slashing through each in a graceful arc.  

They finished off Loa Erebonius with a combined attack; Rean coming at it from the left and Crow from the right, crossing over and slashing at it from both sides simultaneously. They watched as the fragment wavered before them, it’s image beginning to fade away, heralding the end of the trail, and leaving them standing in the Old Schoolhouse once more. But this time there was an ashen coloured Knight standing before them, the sight of which brought tears to Rean’s eyes.  

Crow watched as Rean took a few tentative steps forwards, his hand hesitantly reaching out to touch cool metal.  

“Valimar....” Rean whispered lowly, throat aching.  

No. The refusal echoed within Rean’s mind, crushing him. He should have known, should have realised...  

Rean fell to his knees with a choked sob, hands trembling as he withdrew his reaching hand and curled them into tight fists atop his lap, as though too afraid to reach out again, towards the gigantic ashen coloured knight who had refused his call.  

“Valimar, I... forgive me please. Won’t you accept me again as your Awakener?”  

“ I will not accept you again Rean... not unless you promise you will never again break our bond and leave me behind like that.”  

It was clear to see just how much hurt was shared between the pair, but even Crow could tell just how much they longed to be reunited. Perhaps this was Rean’s final trail, Valimar testing him as Ordine had tested Crow.  

‘Valimar will demand more than an apology in recompense for the bond Rean severed last time...’ Ordine, murmured within Crow’s mind, as he stood there in shocked confusion as Rean crashed to his knees with tears in his eyes, unsure if he should race to Rean’s side to comfort him, or if he should wait and see how things played out.  

Ah, Crow thought to, so that’s what happened. Last time, he’d thought that Valimar had ceased functioning because his Awakener had passed; he hadn’t realised it had been because Rean had severed the bond between them. Aidios, how had Rean been strong enough to do that? Even just the thought made Crow feel like he wanted to shrivel up and die. To sever their bond, Rean would have torn himself apart to remove the bond between them.  

Crow could remember Rean’s regret; the way his eyes were already reddened by his tears as he lay dying in his arms.  

Were you crying for yourself too Rean? Were you shedding tears for the bond you lost with Valimar?  

“ I promise you Valimar, I won’t break our bond. Losing Crow destroyed me, but it hurt just as much when our bond shattered, and you grew dormant before my eyes.” Rean shuffled forward on his knees, until his head was pressed against Valimar’s leg, an echo to the time when he had shattered them both. “I won’t do that to you, I couldn’t bear to do that again.”  

“Then come Rean, call my name and I shall answer to your call once more.”  

“ Heed my call.... Valimar the Ashen Knight!” It was more a choked whisper than a call, but it was enough.  

Valimar rose from his crouched position carefully, dislodging Rean from his knelt position, before transporting him into his cockpit. “Welcome back Rean.”  

Rean choked back a sob, “I missed you.... old friend, and I’m sorry.”  

Crow waited patiently while Rean and Valimar reunited, taking a seat on the ground and leaning tiredly against a wall. It had been a long, few days, and even longer few years since everything had been reset, and now all of the pieces were beginning to take their places. It was time to come up with a plan of action, so that the same situations did not occur again this time. But... that could wait for now, they still had some time to plan.  

For now, Crow was just going to enjoy finally being back at Rean’s side.  

That had been more than a month ago, and they hadn’t talked about what had happened since, even if Crow had been tempted to ask once or twice. In the end though, it probably fell under the heading of ‘things that he probably didn’t want to know the truth about’ and left it at that.  

They hadn’t managed to make much headway in their planning so far, their only leads being Vita, who was conspicuously missing as the hostess for Abend Time. In fact, the show didn’t seem to exist at all this time. So that had been one very major setback in their plans before they even got started. Rean had told him how he had searched her out last time and how Vita and Roselia had ended up helping him.  

‘ Some help’ Crow scowled moodily, not particularly feeling like thanking them for allowing Rean to sacrifice himself to save everyone. Not even after everything they did for him afterwards was enough to soothe his riled temper.  

Crow supposed that since he hadn’t taken Vita up on her offer, and then Ordine had moved his trial; Vita had been down both an Awakener and a Divine Knight and as such had had no reason to even be in Trista. Though he thought it a little odd that she wasn’t here somewhere keeping an eye on the Old Schoolhouse. Perhaps Cayenne had his new lackey already planted here and was feeding her information instead.  

But then, Rean had remembered a very flamboyant man that he had met on one of his field studies, Baron Blue Buck or something? Anyway, they’d later discovered that the man was both Phantom Thief B, an extremely notorious thief, and a member of Ouroboros. If they could just get a hold of him, there might be the slimmest chance that they could persuade him to contact Vita for them; because even though he was merely an Enforcer, surely there were ways for them to get into contact with the Anguis. Right? That was their hope anyway.  

As far as Rean could remember, he had met the other man twice before the civil war had kicked off, so that gave them two opportunities to apprehend him and convince him to lend them his aid. But that meant that there wasn’t much they could do on that front until Rean and his group were sent to Bareahard, and he still had his field study in Celdic to get through.  

Of course, Crow wasn’t able to accompany him, and his friends would dearly like to forget just how unbearable he had become for those few short days that Rean had been gone. Although he had managed to avoid getting punched by Angie in that first year, Crow had come perilously close to being socked with just how hard he was moping around the engineering building; sighing forlornly in between pacing nervously and bugging George to see if he was able to track the ARCUS units Class VII were carrying. Needless to say, Angie wasn’t the only one ready to knock some sense into Crow by the second day; even sweet, serene Towa was nearing the end of her patience.  

Ok, when they put it like that after he’d reunited with Rean and decided to spill all their grievances regarding him to the younger boy, it sounded pretty bad. But it wasn’t like Crow had done absolutely nothing but that while Rean had been gone. Sure, that is all that his friends had seen, but Crow had been doing some work in the background that he couldn’t tell them about. Things like tracking down certain individuals of interest from his last lifetime, and keeping track of their movements, so that he might have some advance warning when they were ready to strike. Also, he had been making some discrete inquiries about the, as yet, unnamed terrorist group that had slowly been building momentum; putting out some feelers and publicly, if anonymously, declaring his intense dislike of Osborne. Perhaps someone might take note and try to reach out and recruit him, though he wasn’t really sure what he would do if that happened. He was sure Rean would be devasted if he joined up, even if it was merely for the sole purpose of getting insider information. And Crow didn’t think he could stomach going through all of that again, not now that he had seen the results of his actions.  

So far though, progress on that front had been slow, so Crow really didn’t think that he would be able to rely on that method as a reliable or up to date way to gain information. For now, he’d just have to hope that whoever had taken over from him was following the same plans that he had, or better yet, was an idiot and not making plans at all.  

Something that was different this time though, was the fact that Valimar had chosen not to reset the trails in the Old Schoolhouse after Rean had re-awoken him. Crow could tell that Emma was both surprised and suspicious when they had entered the old building, only to have it look the way it had on their first orientation day but wasn’t sure why she would be so. It wasn’t until Rean had revealed that she was like Vita that everything made sense to him, and he realised that she was meant to be the one to help guide Rean through the trails.  

Crow knew that Rean had taken Emma aside one evening, trying not to let his jealousy rear its ugly head, and spoken to her about knowing her secret. He wasn’t sure just what they both said during that conversation, but Emma seemed to be a lot more relaxed and comfortable in her own skin afterwards. Class VII also gained a new feline companion, who stuck close to the girl around about the same time, so Crow could only assume that that was her familiar. He’d had to get Rean to repeat it a few times when the other boy had mentioned the cat could talk; because what in gehenna? Really? Grianos hadn’t been able to speak.  

It was sort of weird really, how things were going this time around; Crow practically lived in the Third Dormitory, only returning to his own room to sleep, and perhaps he had snuck in when they were away to sleep in Rean’s room just to surround himself with the other boy’s belongings to remind himself that this wasn’t just a dream.  

Crow could tell that everyone was baffled as to the nature of his and Rean’s relationship, but no one outright questioned them on it, seeming to just accept it was none of their business and moved on. He knew that that wouldn’t last long though, he remembered just how nosy they could all be, and how their patience while great; had its limits. He wondered just how much of the truth they would tell everyone, and if they would believe them. But really, if anyone was going to believe them, it would be Class VII.  

This time around, Crow found that getting to know everyone again was different. This time he wasn’t just putting up a front at pretending to befriend them all, but genuinely wanting to. Rean had talked to him about them all in their quiet moments alone together, had told Crow about the things they had done for them both, the fights they had fought together to bring Crow back to them and the support they had tried to offer to him when Crow had died; and Crow wanted to know these people too, wanted to be a real part of their group, not just hovering on the outskirts like he had last time.  

Something that he found really bringing them together, was when he decided he wanted to plan a surprise birthday celebration for Rean. Of course Rean hadn’t told anyone when his birthday was, so everyone had been surprised at Crow’s suggestion, but it hadn’t stopped them from throwing themselves wholeheartedly into the idea. Except Jusis, he was still doing his whole aloof, unfriendly thing, but Crow would work on him soon. Crow wanted everything to be perfect for Rean’s birthday, having waited six years to be able to finally celebrate it with him; he didn’t want anything to go wrong.  

Unfortunately, it was a little bit before Sharon would arrive to take care of them all, so that left it up to them alone to plan and either cook or buy the necessary food and drinks. Thankfully, between them all, they were adept at making enough dishes that there should be quite a variety to choose from; though trying to do so without Rean finding out or walking in on them cooking was damn near impossible. Crow wasn’t sure how he did it, but Rean would just appear at the wrong moment nearly every time they tried to work ideas out or go out to buy things.  

They ended up taking it in turns spending time with Rean, and Crow knew that although he was suspicious of what was going on, Rean was also really enjoying getting to know and rebuilding his relationships with all of his friends again. Crow sat back and watched as Rean smiled, treasuring every moment of happiness he felt and promising himself that he wouldn’t be the cause of Rean’s heartbreak this time.  

But it was all worth it in the end (even though Crow had a sneaking suspicion that Rean knew exactly what they had planned) when Rean walked into the dining room the night of his birthday, to see the place decorated with streamers and balloons, food and drinks laid out and even a party hat or two perched atop their heads. Not Jusis or Machias though, Crow had tried but he was pretty sure Machias was half a second away from clawing his eyes out and he could have sworn that Jusis had hissed at him.  

“Surprise!”  

Rean smiled so wide, so happily that Crow felt his heart skip a beat. He’d helped to do that; he’d helped to make that expression appear on Rean’s face.  

The night was a huge success in Crow’s eyes, and it was made even better when Rean had thanked him later before bed, leaning up quickly to press a soft kiss against the corner of Crow’s mouth before disappearing into his room.  

“H-hey! Rean that’s not fair! Come back out here and give me a proper kiss.” Crow protested, banging his fist against the door. “Or at least let me stay the night!”  

He might have stood there until Rean relented and opened his door, if Sara hadn’t appeared then, shooing him away with a vaguely threatening smile, casually letting Crow know that it would be inadvisable to attempt climbing through Rean’s window. More than a little put out, Crow pouted slightly as he dragged his feet all the way back to the lower-class dorms and flopped down on his bed. He was woken up a few hours later when someone climbed into his bed, a warm body tucking itself against his side. Crow breathed in the familiar scent of Rean’s shampoo, pressing a kiss against the top of his head and wrapping himself around the slightly smaller male.  

“Happy birthday Rean.”  

Chapter Text

Crow would just like to state for the records, that he was not a stalker.  

Ok, sure he was leaving Thors on an unsanctioned leave of absence to follow Rean to Bareahard, but that was because they had discussed this. Together! He wasn’t stalking Rean because of his stupid co-dependency, no matter what Angie said; he was simply following so that he could hopefully have the chance to confront Bleublanc.  

No matter what Crow told himself though, he really wasn’t helping his image by skulking just out of sight of Rean’s group instead of joining them. He was trying to be discrete here, though he had a feeling that Rean had noticed his presence if the tired sigh and slight shake of his head was any indication.  

Disembarking the train without being seen was arguably a harder task, as he had a very limited amount of time to do so, made more difficult when Jusis’s brother held them all up on the platform. But Crow wasn’t a former terrorist leader who had managed to slip beneath the Intelligence Division’s guard for years for nothing, so slipping out of the train station unseen was easier than taking a stroll down the street for him.  

Luckily, after a lot of pleading and promising explanations that would likely never happen, Towa had used her amazing organisational and planning skills and managed to find Crow some cheap accommodation to reside in for the duration of his stay. Because there is no way Crow could afford to stay in the fancy place the others were being put up at, and camping did not sound like something he’d really want to be doing; not with how twitchy the Provincial Army was acting. He really didn’t want to be bringing unwanted attention towards himself. Unfortunately, that plan lasted for all of five minutes before Crow ran into the bracer Toval, the older man staring him down with an unimpressed frown on his face.  

“When Sara called me and told me one of the students had decided to play hooky, I really didn’t expect for you to turn up here of all places.” Crow laughed nervously, hand rubbing the back of his head. “I would have pegged you for Heimdallr and the races or casino.”  

“Oh, would you look at that? It seems I got off at the wrong stop!” Crow exclaimed in faux surprise; hand pressed to his chest in shock. “This isn’t Heimdallr!” Yeah, not his best work Crow could admit, but he hadn’t expected to be discovered this soon either.  

“Heimdallr is in the complete opposite direction.” responded Toval, unimpressed. “Maybe I should call Sara to come collect you since you seem to be so lost that you can’t make your way back home.”  

“No wait! I need to be here to meet someone later.” protested Crow. Toval’s eyebrow raised slightly.  

“It wouldn’t happen to be a certain dark-haired lowerclassman of yours, would it?” teased Toval, a smirk overtaking his face now.  

“What? No! Of course not! How do you even know that anyway?” Crow grumbled.  

“Sara tells me things,” Toval laughed with a slight shrug. “Look as long as you don’t cause any trouble, I won’t let Sara know you’re here. Though I suspect she already knows if she contacted me. But I assume whatever has brought you here, whoever you’re meeting, is very important. So keep your head down and that’s as far as it will go, alright?”  

Crow nodded his agreement, wincing slightly as Toval clapped a slightly too firm hand against his shoulder as he bid him farewell. Well.... that hadn’t gone according to plan now, had it? And not only that, but the confrontation also meant that he was behind on his plans. If what Rean had told him was correct, then he should probably make his way down to Artisan’s Street soon and wait outside for Bleublanc to exit the building so that they could have a little chat.  

Just a nice, friendly chat, where the enforcer told them the information they needed, and then hopefully led them to Vita, after which, they would let him go off on his merry way to do whatever it was that Bleublanc liked to do. Honestly, Crow wasn’t holding out too much hope for things to go smoothly, but it was all that they had at the moment.  

So Crow hurried his way down to Turner’s Jewellers on Artisan’s Street, hoping that he hadn’t missed Class VII or Bleublanc’s exit.  

“Haha. Good day to you!” Oh good, it sounded like he had arrived just in time.  

The door to the jeweller opened and a flamboyant looking man stepped through, matching the description Rean had given him beforehand, Crow reaching out to grasp a hold of his arm as he exited.  

“Baron Bleublanc was it?” he smiled pleasantly, tightening his grip upon the other man’s arm as he subtly tried to tug his arm free. “I was hoping you might be willing to answer a few questions that I had.”  

Bleublanc, or Phantom Thief B, looked at Crow in assessment, seeming amused by whatever it was that he could read from the expression on his face. He ceased trying to break free, instead offering a short, polite nod of his head, motioning that he would accompany Crow to converse in private.  

“Why of course I would be happy to answer any questions you might have. However, you seem to have me at a disadvantage; you know who I am, but I have not the faintest idea as to who you are.”  

“I’ll tell you what I think you need to know, if your answers are satisfactory,” responded Crow, leading Bleublanc down to the end of Artisan’s Street and out towards the South Kreuzen Highway. He stopped and closed his eyes in dismay as a hand landed upon his arm, the all too familiar tug and pull of transportation magic swallowed them both, before dropping them midway along the path of the highway. Crow swallowed thickly, breathing deeply through his nose. He had not missed that stomach churning feeling one bit; Vita had used the technique a few times to get them to and from the proving grounds for Ordine’s trial last time, when security had been tight, or the crowds had been too thick.  

“Oh, a man of mystery! How exciting!” Bleublanc exclaimed in his overdramatic tone of voice, removing his hand from Crow’s arm. Crow winced, wondering if the man always spoke like that, or it was all part of his Baron act. However, the cheerful façade fell rapidly at the sound of a gun cocking, one of Crow’s pistols aimed steadily at his forehead.  

So much for talking peacefully, Crow thought wryly, but he couldn’t risk Bleublanc withholding any information that he might have.  

Bleublanc raised his hands in a position of surrender, along with his eyebrows inching towards his ridiculous hairline, his eyes turning serious as he stared into Crow’s determined eyes.  

“Easy now, I thought we were just here to have a friendly chat?” he cajoled lightly, though Crow could see the way his body was tightly coiled, ready to spring out of the way were he to shoot.  

“That was your mistake,” countered Crow with a negligent shrug, ignoring the fact that that was what he had originally intended, not taking his eyes off him for a single moment. “But sure, we can keep it friendly if you want; all you need to do is answer my questions truthfully.”  

“Well then, dear mysterious stranger. I suppose, I am at your mercy. Ask away.” Bleublanc conceded, loosening his stance minutely, though Crow didn’t make the mistake to think he was truly as relaxed as he appeared.  

“What do you know about the Great Twilight and Ouroboros' plans regarding it, and where can I find Vita Clotilde?” Straight to the point, Crow didn’t have time to be messing around, not with Rean out on a mission. Because knowing Rean like he did, the other boy was likely to get himself into trouble; especially with Machias and Jusis acting worse than a couple of sleep deprived toddlers.  

“A lowly enforcer like myself, is unfortunately not privy to the ultimate goals nor plans of the Grandmaster, only the Anguis might have an idea of what her intentions are in regard to the Great Twilight as you call it.” Bleublanc shrugged, frowning slightly as he noticed Crow’s finger tightening around the trigger. “As for Vita, well, it would seem as though she has flown the coop. No one has been able to track her down and the others are quite.... shall we say put out by this fact.”  

Crow cursed, gritting his teeth in irritation, though he filed the title of ‘Grandmaster’ away in his mind.  

Of course, of course it couldn’t be this easy to track the witch down so that they could begin their plan to thwart Ishmelga and prevent the curse from spreading all over Erebonia. Of course it wasn’t going to be that easy to make sure that Rean didn’t sacrifice himself again.  

He knew it was stupid and selfish, but Crow also knew himself well enough to know, that if it came down to Rean dying to save the world, he would rather watch the world burn than lose him again.  

“I apologise that I could not have been more help my dear boy.” Funnily enough, Crow believed the older man; his tone oddly sincere. “But with this, I will bid you adieu and take my leave.” Bleublanc bowed lowly once, before he was swept away in the swirl of his teleportation spell, Crow unsurprised that he had managed to escape.  

“Fuck,” they were back to square one again, and time was slowly running out. Crow flicked the safety back on before he holstered his orbal gun, running an agitated hand through his hair, ruffling the silvery strands. They needed to go back to the drawing board and start again, but for now, Crow needed to remember what Rean had mentioned they would be doing today and locate him. There was this vague feeling of dread beginning to settle in this stomach and it was making him nervous.  

He really needed to find Rean, to reassure himself that the younger boy was fine, and it was just his mind playing tricks on him.  

Except it wasn’t.  

Crow managed to catch up with Rean just in time to watch helplessly, as the other boy was gored by a monster they presumably were meant to be dealing with. Fear filled him as he heard Rean cry out, his mind going blank as he watched in horror as blood began to soak through Rean's crimson jacket, Crow’s mind flashing back to the last time he had witnessed such a sight.  

“Rean!” his voice was a hoarse cry, his legs feeling shaky as he stumbled his way towards him, agony tearing through his chest as Emma knelt beside him, her hands beginning to glow as she cast a healing arte.  

The group looked up in shocked surprise at Crow’s abrupt arrival, Fie, who had just been about to finish the monster off properly, jumping back as his double sabre appeared in his hand, Crow viciously slashing his way through the monster until there was little of it that remained, fear and anger leaning him their strength.  

Machias and Jusis stumbled back as Crow shoved past them, watching as he carelessly dropped his weapon and fell to his knees, skirting around Emma and carefully gathering Rean up into his arms, holding him close with trembling hands.  

“Not again Rean, you can’t do this to me again.” Crow begged, pressing his hands down on Rean’s shoulder, the familiar, sickening feeling of warm blood coating his hands making his vision swim with memories and his stomach cramp as the scent of rust and salt filled his nose. “You can’t leave me Rean,” he whispered so quietly, even Emma knelt opposite them couldn’t hear his words. “I can’t do this without you remember? I need you.”  

Rean hissed in a pained breath; his eyes clenching shut in pain; but he forced his uninjured arm to rise up and pull Crow’s head down until their foreheads pressed together.  

“I’m fine Crow, this happened before remember? I’ll be fine....” he winced as the healing arte struggled to repair the damage. As much as he was grateful for Crow’s presence, Rean couldn’t help but wish he had arrived just a little bit later so that Emma could use her witch magic on his arm to heal it. He knew that she wouldn’t with people around, and there was no way she’d get the chance with Crow hovering over Rean worriedly for the foreseeable future. Not that he blamed him of course, Rean was aware that seeing him injured and covered in blood like this was more than likely giving Crow flashbacks to when Rean had died in his arms last time. He knew that he’d have been the same.  

“I... I’m sorry Rean, the artes I have access to aren’t strong enough to heal you fully; only enough to stop the bleeding for now. A trained healer in town might be able to do more when we get back, but for now all I can do is bandage your arm for you.”  

“That’s fine Emma, thanks for trying.” Rean smiled wanly up at her, watching in tired amusement as Crow plucked the bandages from Emma’s hands and set about wrapping Rean’s shoulder himself. His knight in bandanaed armour, he thought, biting back a groan as his shoulder throbbed as it was tightly wrapped.  

“.... hadn’t been so damned arrogant and -”  

“I was being arrogant? Look who’s talking! You have been nothing but judgemental and a complete jackass since the moment we met!”  

It sounded like Machias and Jusis had managed to get over their shock and were back to arguing and blaming one another for Rean’s injury.  

Crow carefully helped Rean to stand, hands hovering, ready to steady him if he should stumble. Once Rean was standing, Crow wrapped an arm around him so that he could help Rean walk and turned his furious gaze upon the pair still yelling at one another.  

“If you are quite finished,” venom was thick in Crow’s tone, so different from his normal lazy drawl, his crimson eyes icy with contempt as he stared both boys down as they froze under his glare. “Get the fuck over yourselves, both of you. I don’t care what your problem with one another is, but I suggest you deal with it. Now. Because Rean’s injury? Yeah, that wouldn’t have happened if you would both just grow the fuck up and put your differences aside.”  

“Crow, it’s not their fault...” Rean tried to protest, before Crow turned his gaze towards him, and he realised that it wasn’t just anger he could see in the depths, but fear and sorrow as well.  

“It damned well is their fault that something like this happened, but you’re right. You being injured is your fault, because you pushed them aside and sacrificed yourself as usual.” The sheer amount of hurt contained within Crow’s words was staggering, and Rean felt himself crumble under the weight of his own actions. Crow turned back to the rest of the group, ordering them to get moving if they wanted to finish their tasks before nightfall. “Rean is stepping back from the fighting, and I will stay with him to keep him safe, so you two, pull yourselves together and work as a team.”  

Silently, the other four turned on their heels and started walking towards Aurochs Fort, stopping along the way to gather some pink bath salts for another request. Emma and Fie shot worried looks over their shoulders as they walked, but Crow simply waved them on with his free hand, still too worked up to explain his presence or reassure them properly.  

“I-I’m sorry Crow, I wasn’t thinking.” Apologised Rean quietly. “It, I’ve done this twice already... I didn’t think anything of doing it a third time too.”  

“You can’t keep doing things like this Rean. My heart isn’t strong enough to watch you get hurt like that.” whispered Crow, arm tightening it’s hold around Rean’s waist.  

“I’ll try not to.”  

“Just so you know, I haven’t forgiven you yet though. You almost gave me a heart attack when I saw you go down. I haven’t thought of what your punishment will be, but just know that it will cost you.” Rean felt a little better as he watched Crow try to inject a little of his usual humour into his words, wishing he had thought of a better way to get Machias and Jusis to see eye to eye.  

Really getting injured like this might have been the wakeup call that they’d needed, but the real breakthrough had come after Machias had overheard Rean talking to Jusis late at night. Rean sighed tiredly; it seems like maybe he’d gotten himself injured three times for no reason at all. But who knows if Jusis would have bothered reaching out the way he had if things had gone differently? Regardless though, Rean had a feeling that things were going to be different this time, since Emma hadn’t been able to heal him and Crow was unlikely to leave him alone any time soon, so that late night conversation was doubtful to happen.  

By the time they made it to Aurochs Fort and were making their way back to town, Rean was flagging; his skin clammy and waxen, as he struggled to keep putting one foot in front of the other. The officers at the Fort had offered Rean some pain medication for his injury, but they hadn’t been able, or chose not to, offer much else unfortunately. It wasn’t until Millium and Arigetlam passed overhead, that anyone noticed though, even Crow had been distracted watching Machias and Jusis struggle through trying to maintain a stable combat link.  

“Hey, was that...?” Crow’s voice trailed off, worry beginning to take root, watching as Rean breathed heavily as he pushed himself forwards. “Hey Rean, are you ok?”  

“’M fine Crow,” mumbled Rean, unable to put any more effort into reassuring the other boy, all his energy going into just keeping himself upright and moving forwards.  

“No, you’re not,” Crow objected, halting Rean with the arm still wrapped around him. He shifted around until he was crouching in front of Rean, offering the other boy his back. “Here, climb on and I’ll carry you back.”  

Rean stared down at Crow’s crouched form in disbelief, shaking his head in refusal without giving it much thought.  

“I’ll be fine until we reach Bareahard,” protested Rean, trying to skirt around Crow. He was stopped by a hand on his wrist.  

“Rean,” oh, Rean did not like the tone of voice Crow was using. It was a tone that let him know that Crow was being infinitely patient with him, but that he was done listening to the dumb things Rean was spouting whether he liked it or not. “Either you climb on my back and I carry you back like that, or...”  

“Or?” Rean wasn’t entirely sure he should be asking that, not with the way that Crow’s smile sharpened, his teeth glinting ominously in the fading light.  

“Or I will pick you up and carry you like a princess back to Bareahard for everyone to see.”  

Rean could hear the other’s laughter, Fie not even trying to stifle hers. Emma at least tried to hide her giggles behind her hand, but Rean could see the mirth dancing in her eyes. Even Machias and Jusis seemed to agree with Crow that Rean needed help back, a raised eyebrow and an amused huff his only response when he looked to them for help. Of course, they decide to agree on something now.  

“Fine, I’ll take the piggy back ride,” conceded Rean, gingerly arranging himself along Crow’s back, tucking his aching arm against his own chest to ease the throbbing and wrapping the other around Crow’s shoulder to keep himself balanced.  

“Perfect! I knew you’d see sense eventually!” Crow cheered victoriously, carefully standing, arms tucking themselves beneath Rean’s knees to support him. “And off we go!”  

Rean had to admit that it was nice being able to rest his tired body, his eyes beginning to flutter closed as the swaying motion of Crow’s gait began to lull him to sleep, his head dipping down until it was resting in the crook of Crow’s neck.  

“Thank you, Crow,” he murmured quietly. Just before sleep overtook him, he could hear Crow’s soft reply.  

“You’re welcome, you stubborn idiot.” Crow uttered fondly. “Rest now, I’ll get you back safely.”  

When Rean awoke next, he was tucked into a vaguely familiar bed in their hotel room, the quiet murmur of voices from outside the door and the soft sound of someone turning the pages of a book nearby, the only things he could make out. He attempted to sit up, hissing in surprise as his shoulder protested, throbbing pain shooting down in arms all the way to his fingertips.  

“Easy now, it’s best if you don’t push yourself.” Jusis advised, placing his book aside and coming over to gingerly help Rean to sit up slightly. “A healer stopped by earlier to look at your shoulder, he did what he could, but he mentioned you need to keep it wrapped and that the pain would linger for a while. Also to make sure you get it checked out when you get back to Thors.”  

“Thanks,” he rasped out, throat unbearably dry. He repeated himself as Jusis handed him a glass of cool water, gulping the liquid down thirstily. “Where is everyone?”  

“Emma and Fie have retired for the night, and your friend Crow has dragged Machias out to Sorciere to procure something easy for you to eat. I have been left here to babysit you while they are gone; after being instructed not to let you leave. Honestly, I didn’t think Crow was going to leave your side all night.”  

“Oh...” Rean coughed sheepishly, wondering just how that conversation had gone down.  

“Regardless, you really need to remember your place in society. A Noble shouldn’t carelessly throw themselves in harm’s way...”  

Rean was surprised that the following conversation was almost the same as the other two times, they had just gotten there a different way. They had just about finished up with their chat, when a knock on the door interrupted them, Machias and Crow entering the room carrying two containers of steaming food.  

Rean had a feeling that they had been eavesdropping outside of the door for a while, though Crow’s face was difficult to read; Machias on the other hand could not hide his expression and Rean knew he was correct in his assumption. So it looked like the breakthrough had still happened. Now if only Rean could figure out a way to actually make them become friends, everything would be great. But for now, he supposed that a truce would do.  

Crow could tell that having to wait around for Toval to appear the next day and allow them to overhear his conversation was difficult for Rean, when the other already knew just where they needed to go. Instead, Crow decided to hunt down the Bracer and wrested the information from him, reappearing before the others with his ‘discovery’. Sure they could have simply waltzed their way into the Underground Waterway, but that would have raised some very difficult to answer questions that they didn’t want asked.  

Rean was still injured, his shoulder heavily bandaged and aching, so Crow made him stay at the back while he took his place. Everything else went pretty much the same as what Rean had informed him, though he had to support Rean as they ran from the Kazakk Dovens, as the strain of running jarred his arm and sapped his strength. Still, even weakened by pain and handicapped by his bandages, Rean managed to take down one of the beasts with Crow and Fie’s aid, Emma supporting the group with her artes.  

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it was actually a little satisfying to see those two blockheaded idiots form a proper link together, working as a team to take down the other beast. Crow also wouldn’t admit to feeling a little apprehensive when Instructor Sara appeared, staring at him with a raised eyebrow, lips pressed into a stern line. Thankfully though, she didn’t say anything, and his presence went unremarked upon until later when she told him he was an idiot and handed him a huge stack of extra work to complete to make up for his absence. Crow cried internally, turning to Rean to beg for help, feeling betrayed when he noticed that Rean had fallen asleep against his shoulder.  

Once they returned to Thors though, Crow marched a protesting Rean into Instructor Beatrix’s office, crossing his arms and frowning at him as he protested that he was fine and had seen the healer in Bareahard, not budging an inch until the other boy let the older woman tend to his shoulder. He winced at the sight of the injury, dried blood and thick scabbing already beginning to form, deep bruising turning the unbroken skin an array of deep purples and sickly greens.  

However, a thorough clean and a few strong tearals later, Rean’s arm was more fully healed; though he was instructed to take it easy for a few days to allow it to heal properly and to do a few gentle exercises to make sure to strengthen the area again.  

Crow hadn’t thought it would, and it definitely didn’t stop Rean from carrying out his normal workload though, even going so far as to continue his help for the Student Council. And as much as Crow wished he could help him with his tasks, he had managed to get in contact with someone with ties to the ILF and was due to meet them soon. He still hadn’t told Rean that that is what he was planning, but he was sure the other boy would understand his reasoning.  

The night before he left to meet with his contact, Crow finally managed to gather the courage to overcome his guilt and confess to Rean.  

“Rean,” the darker-haired male looked up from his work, tilting his head in question as Crow remained silent after gaining his attention.  

“What is it Crow?” he questioned, turning in his seat to face the older boy. “You look like you have something on your mind.”  

“I joined the Imperial Liberation Front.” No dressing it up or hiding it, Crow just forced the words out, watching as Rean’s face crumpled and his body stiffened so much that Crow thought he might snap in two if he were to so much as touch him. Regardless though, Crow still reached out to touch Rean, to reassure him, and tried not to feel hurt when Rean recoiled from his touch.   

Goddess, that stung.  

“C-Crow? What? I....” Rean was clearly caught off guard, curling into himself and away from Crow.  

“Let me explain! I didn’t do it because I want revenge!” Crow hastened to explain, “I thought if I joined, we’d be able to keep track of things in case they change from when I was the leader! Stay one step ahead of them and all that.”  

Rean stared at him silently, and Crow began to wonder if he had managed to destroy the fledgling relationship they were currently rebuilding with this one action. His heart was beating almost frantically within his chest as he waited for Rean to say something; anything to break this tense silence.  

“You....you’ll be safe?” demanded Rean. “You won’t be in danger or go on any suicide missions?”  

How could he have been such an idiot, Crow chastised himself. Of course Rean was worried about him, and not angry. Of course he was. Rean had watched him die for this stupid group before, watched him walk down the same path that would lead to his demise a second time and only prevented that by dying himself.  

Crow crashed down to his knees, drawing Rean’s stiff form into his arms, tucking his head under his chin.  

“I’ll be safe Rean; I won’t take on any dangerous missions.”  

“You promise?”  

“Yeah, I promise. I’ll come back to you safe and sound.”  

“Ok, ok I guess that’s, that’s good then,” Rean spoke slowly, trying to banish the panic that had briefly overtaken him at the thought of losing Crow again. He pulled himself out of Crow’s arms, digging his knuckles into his eyes to make them stop stinging, drawing in a few shaky breaths. “It’ll be good to know what they’re up to.”  

“Yeah, I thought so too,” agreed Crow, still holding onto Rean’s shoulders lightly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was planning.”  

“No, no it’s fine,” Rean reassured him, offering a crooked smile that Crow didn’t quite believe was real. "I should have thought of it myself.”  

Crow had a feeling that it would have been Rean joining the ILF had he thought of it himself, but he wasn’t sure just how well the other boy would have been able to cope in the organisation. Rean just really didn’t have the right personality to be able to feel comfortable in a group like that; he’d be eaten alive within the first week.  

Crow spent the rest of the night just staying by Rean’s side, realising without him even saying it that the other boy was craving to be close, for reassurance. Crow couldn’t offer much more than his words and this, but if Rean needed him to tangle their fingers together while he worked or hold him close as he slept, Crow would gladly do so.  

He woke early the next morning, Rean still curled beside him in sleep, climbing carefully from the bed and dressing quickly. Crow penned a quick note to Rean to let him know that he was going to meet his contact, so he didn’t wake up wondering where he had gone.  

Crow hurried to the train station, stepping onto the platform just as the train pulled up, slipping aboard and finding himself a seat. He hadn’t been told who he was meeting, and he wondered if he would recognise the person. He had taken great pains to disguise himself, covering up his distinctive hair with a boring, nondescript colour that he hoped would wash out easily, and popping in some coloured contacts. There wasn’t anything he could do about his height or build, but hopefully the cosmetic changes would be enough that they wouldn’t be able to easily recognise him if he passed them on the street.   

Or came face to face with them during a fight.  

He disembarked two stops later, sliding between two rundown looking buildings and walked down an alleyway towards a warehouse, knocking in the pattern he had been instructed to use. The door slid open silently, and Crow took the invitation for what it was and entered, not even jumping when he sensed several bodies closing in on him, the door slamming closed behind him.  

A light flickered to life on his left, another coming to life soon after until a row of lamps illuminated a moderately bright circle within the darkness. And there, standing still and silent within that circle of light, was the all too familiar form of -  

“Gideon.” Crow whispered the name in surprise, the last time he had seen this man was just before he left on his suicide mission in Crossbell.  

“Fellow comrade!” Gideon called, beckoning Crow to step into the light. He hadn’t given them his name, and thankfully they hadn’t demanded he offer it, respecting his need for privacy. “Do you agree to join with us and pledge your life to our noble cause?”  

“I do,” affirmed Crow, knowing all the while that his words rang hollowly, as he was offering nothing but a lie. His loyalties lay with Rean, not the ILF; not this time.  

“Then welcome to the Imperial Liberation Front! Where we are the bearers of justice, ready to smite those who seek to subjugate the weak! Come friends! Let us celebrate the joining of a new comrade!”  

As Crow was inundated by the cheers and slaps on the back, he began to wonder if he had made a huge mistake.  

Chapter Text

Crow remembered midterms.  

He remembered midterms and how much he had hated them his first year the first time around. He remembered how much he had hated them in his second year too, and even after studying his ass off to get into Thors this time, Crow had still hated them last year too. It didn’t matter that he probably knew all the answers off by heart by now if he was so inclined, midterms still sucked.  

If it had been up to him, he would have continued to not bother studying and gone on his merry way, well on his way towards failing his second year and becoming unable to graduate.  

But of course Rean hadn’t allowed that to happen, and that was how Crow found himself sitting in the third dormitory with several members of Class VII, books surrounding them all, with numerous empty coffee cups littering whatever surface was left.  

“Surely you’re already familiar with the contents of this exam Crow? Perhaps you could be of some help?” Machias suggested, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. He looked up at Rean’s snort, just in time to see Crow elbow Rean in the side in playful indignation.  

“Really Machias? Have you seen this guy’s grades?” questioned Rean incredulously, twisting away to avoid Crow’s pokes.  

“Hey, rude!” protested Crow, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout as Rean finally managed to shift out of his reach.  

Eyebrow raised slightly; Rean questioned him. “Ok, then smartarse. Tell me, what law enacted last year came into force first in Heimdallr?”  

“Uh....something about tax?” guessed Crow. He knew he’d gotten the answer wrong as Rean smirked at him, trying to smother the expression behind his hand with little success as he pushed a book towards Crow. Crow allowed his head to thump against the table in dismay. Rean was never going to let him live this down, was he? Especially since he already knew from the last two lives, just how badly Crow was actually doing in classes. Also, if Crow remembered correctly, Rean had aced his exams last time, and probably had every single answer already memorised.  

“Uh yeah, perhaps we’ll just study on our own then,” Machias backtracked, much to the amusement of those listening, offering some advice to the older boy, “... perhaps you should do some extra studying too.”  

The rest of the afternoon passed quickly enough, surprisingly, and after facing down Rean’s expectant gaze for several long moments, even Crow had found himself giving in and picking up a book to study. Unexpectedly, he became engrossed in the text, and the next time he looked up, he realised that he and Rean were the last two in the kitchen, night having long ago fallen. Now that he thought about it, he did vaguely remember someone shoving a couple of sandwiches at them some time ago, but it hadn’t really registered at the time.  

Looking over towards Rean, Crow felt a reluctant smile tug at his lips as he took in the sight of the younger boy, sleeping on his notes, one hand still clutching his pen, the other holding his book open.  

Closing his own book quietly, Crow stretched his arms above his head with a wince, groaning in relief at the pops and cracks his spine made. Pulling himself out of his chair, he made his way towards Rean, reaching out to gently shake his shoulder in an attempt to rouse him.  

“Hey sleepyhead, you’ll sleep much better in a proper bed than out here.” Rean grumbled, nose scrunching in protest as Crow continued to shake him. “Come on, up!”  

Finally Rean’s eyes cracked open, aiming a sulky glare towards Crow, making him laugh.  

“There you go, now off to bed with you Rean, you’ll be much more comfortable there.”  

“I was just fine where I was,” protested Rean grumpily, stumbling to his feet and clumsily putting his books together.  

“You wouldn’t have been saying that in the morning I’ll bet.” cajoled Crow, herding Rean towards the stairs.  

“I would have been fine,” Rean grumbled petulantly, making Crow laugh again.  

So studying wasn’t too bad, he decided, not if he got to witness Rean like this every time. And even when he realised that as a second year, he didn’t need to retake the midterms, it was still worth it for those little moments together with Rean.  

Trying to find a reasonable excuse not to be sent to Nord to be part of the planned attack there, had been easier than Crow had expected. Really, he’d thrown in the fact that he was attending Thors still as a last resort, but somehow that had made Gideon’s eyes soften slightly, a fond look entering his gaze as he presumably thought back to his own teaching days. He had told Crow to make sure he got a good education while he could, patting him on the shoulder as he dismissed him from his duty.  

Getting to Nord wasn’t an issue either, Ordine handling the trip quicker and likely significantly more comfortably than the train Rean was stuck in, but he made for less-than-ideal accommodation. There was just something incredibly uncomfortable about being wedged into his upright piloting chair as he tried to find an acceptable position to sleep in, funnily enough. Food was also a bit of a problem, Ordine taking umbrage at being used as a ‘portable food storage’ in his own words, so Crow was stuck with protein shakes and those tasteless bars that were supposed to be able to replace an entire meal.  

So it wasn’t really a surprise that he was incredibly grumpy the next day, and the early morning call from Angie demanding to know where in Aidios he was, didn’t help one bit. Crow may have lost his temper at her just a little, and then maybe a little more after she had insinuated that he had somehow managed to follow Rean on his field study like some sort of sad, abandoned pup.  

He was here to help Rean with their mission to stop the ILF from attacking the Erebonian and Calvard bases. He wasn’t following Rean like some stray mutt, Crow grumbled, he was here for a reason. It didn’t matter that Rean had managed to divert the disaster on his own last time, because Crow could help him this time, he didn’t need to do things on his own anymore.  

They were in this together, until the very end.  

On the agreed upon night, Crow might have snuck closer to the Nord settlement than was likely safe, but everything would be fine, and it would be easier to meet up with Rean this way. He had to tamp down on the ugly feeling trying to rise within his chest as he watched Rean and Alisa share a heart to heart out there under the stars, both younger teens, laying on their backs side by side. Crow wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t.  

‘You can’t have him, I travelled through time so that I could stay by his side!’  

Crow turned away and decided to wait in Ordine instead.  

Crow knew that Rean could tell that something was off with him when they met up later that night, but he was thankful that they didn’t have time for Rean to ask before they had to fly off to destroy the mortars about to be launched. Even though Crow knew no one should recognise him without his dark hair and green eyes, he still made sure that his face and distinctive hair colour were hidden. He didn’t want the ILF to learn about him and come knocking at his door.  

Crow crept up behind the group waiting to make their move, knocking them out or incapacitating them as quickly as possible. He tied them all up, removing any communication devices they might have and smashing them, and leaving them in a fuming, cursing group as he walked over to dismantle the mortars.  

That done, Crow sent an anonymous message through to Zender Gate, informing the base of the location so that the group could get picked up. He wasn’t heartless, he wouldn’t make these people stay outside unprotected from beasts and the weather all night.  

That done, Crow returned to Ordine, sending through a completion message to Rean wondering the whole time just how the other had managed to deal with both groups on his own last time. Just taking out this one on his own had taken several hours, Crow couldn’t imagine dealing with both, while still managing to get any rest that night and getting through the next day without collapsing. Rean really was something else, wasn’t he?   

Once Crow had received confirmation from Rean that the other group had been dealt with, he bid the other boy good luck and goodbye and made his way back to Trista. There wasn’t really much point in hanging around now that the mission was complete, and he had been receiving increasingly worried and irate messages from Towa and Angie about his whereabouts; no guessing required over who had sent what. Even George had tried calling him a time or two. Of course, with his reappearance the next day with no explanation regarding his whereabouts, gained him a dead arm when Angie finally gave in to the irritation she had been withholding so nobly, and punched him, not even bothering to hold back her not inconsiderable strength.  

Crow miserably accepted this punishment but sulked in the privacy of his own mind. You try to do the right thing, and you get punched by your friends. Where was the justice in that?  

It didn’t help that Rean and the rest of Class VII returned the day after he did, the teasing starting up again about Crow disappearing when Rean left, only to reappear once he returned. Crow could only be thankful that after a few less than happy jabs into Angie and George’s sides, that it had tapered off.  

It was around this time that Principal Vandyck called Crow into his office with an encouraging smile and worry in his eyes, gently informing him that he didn’t have the credits nor the attendance to graduate at the rate he was going.  

“Crow, I don’t know what to say my boy, your test scores to enter Thors were incredible. But since then, well all I can say is that you are very lucky the scholarship hasn’t been revoked.” Principal Vandyck frowned down at Crow’s latest test scores, the wrinkle between his brows deepening as he scanned his less than stellar marks. “What changed between now and your entrance test Crow?”  

And for the first time in both lifetimes, Crow started to feel a little bad about his disregard for any of his classes at Thors. Last time he hadn’t cared, he’d only been here to waste time and to keep an eye on the Old Schoolhouse on Vita’s orders. Honestly, this time too he hadn’t cared all that much about attending Thors itself, merely needing to be here so that he could meet Rean again. But then Crow remembered Rean, remembered that last time where even though he was trying to stop Crow and the ILF, Rean had still been one of the top students of his class. Rean had treated his time at Thors seriously, as though it would affect his future.  

His future.... had Crow ever considered that he would have a future he wondered.  

Thinking about it, the startling answer to that question, was no. The first time Crow knew he was about it kickstart a war, and he hadn’t really expected to make it out the other side alive. War was a horrible, wretched thing, but after being the instigator, Crow felt like it would be cowardly of him to run and hide from what he had begun.  

As for this life, well Crow really hadn’t thought about the future much at all; not beyond saving Rean and making sure they never ended up on that rooftop with his sabre piercing Rean’s chest again. He'd never really thought about much past that, and it would seem as though his uncertainty was clear from his actions.  

But that was an incredibly foolish way of thinking he realised. Because if they did manage to avert the end of the world, if he did manage to save Rean, then he wanted to be able to have a life with him afterwards. Destroying his chances this early in life was not a good way to go about doing that.  

“I apologise Sir, I guess I lost sight of the future.” offered Crow, eyes falling to land on the polished wood of Vandyck’s desk.  

A fond sigh escaped the older man, his brown eyes twinkling with mirth.  

“Happens to the best of us at some point or another, but unfortunately that isn’t going to help you gain credits to graduate.” Another sigh escaped him, this one sounding more resigned as though he was unsure how Crow might take his next words. “The only solution I can offer you, would be for you to join Class VII and gain the remaining credits you need that way. I know that means you’d be pushed back into a first year’s class, but that’s the only real option you have, bar repeating your second year.”  

“That’s fine Sir, I appreciate the offer and I accept it.” Crow offered a shrug and wry smile to the older male. “I’m already friends with most of them anyway.”  

Vandyck cleared his throat, unreasonably amused. He’d heard all about Crow’s antics regarding one of the students in Class VII in particular, from rumours and gossip going about the school.  

“Well then, that’s settled. From next week, you’ll join Class VII for their lessons and field studies. I’ll let Instructor Sara know you’ll be joining them. You can move into the dorm whenever you wish, or you can remain in your current dorm if you’d prefer.”  

Crow knew a dismissal when he heard one, so rising from his seat, he thanked the principal and wandered out of the Main Building and towards the Engineering building where he found the whole gang staring expectantly at him as he pushed open the door. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Crow steeled himself for the mocking he knew was about to come his way. What he didn’t expect, was Angelica showing a rare moment of seriousness, before she went and ruined it completely.  

“This way you’ll be able to keep closer to Rean, won’t you?” She smiled at Crow warmly. “I guess this way you won’t need to stalk him so much since you’ll be right by his side anyway!”  

“Angie!”  

Even as he knocked her off her seat and they wrestled on the floor, Crow found that he wasn’t even that annoyed. Because she was right, dammit.  

To the great surprise of all of Class VII, minus Rean who had guessed and Sara who had chosen not to share the news, Crow was all moved into the Third Dormitory by the time both groups returned from their field studies. He was laying on his bed, just relaxing, when a tentative knock sounded upon his door.  

“Crow?” It felt so good to hear Rean’s voice again, even though it had been less than two days since he had seen him last.  

“Door’s open.” he called out, lazily shifting around until he was sitting with his back leaning against the headboard. He felt a smirk pull at the edges of his lips when he noticed Rean’s eyes flicker towards where he had previously hung a frankly embarrassingly huge picture of a swimsuit model, a nearly unnoticeable sigh of relief passing his lips when he found it absent. It wasn’t even that Crow hadn’t bothered taking it with him this time, but more along the lines of he’d never had it in the first place. How could any nameless woman ever compare to the beauty that was Rean?  

“Hey,” murmured Rean, slipping into the room fully and closing the door behind him.  

“Hey yourself,” responded Crow, lifting his arm in a welcoming gesture, sighing in content as Rean tucked himself against his side on the bed.  

“I see you’re all moved in already; you didn’t waste any time.” Crow shrugged, not bothering to respond verbally. It was true after all, and Rean likely could guess the reason for his haste, so there was no point in saying anything.  

“I won’t have to sneak in anymore this way,” joked Crow, earning a snort of laughter from Rean and a half-hearted jab in his ribs. “Or vice versa. I think I’ve lost track of how many times you kicked me out, only to appear in my dorm bed the next day.”  

“Shut up,” grumbled Rean, burying his face against Crow’s shoulder to hide his embarrassed flush. Maybe they were both a little more dependent on the other than they would like to admit.  

“Sure, sure,” Crow agreed amiably, wriggling them both until they were laying on their sides facing one another. “How did the rest of the field study go anyway?”  

“Good, there wasn’t a single peep from the ILF for the rest of the trip and no interference from the Intelligence Division either. Oh!” Rean pulled away from Crow slightly at that, his mouth pulled down into a slight frown. “Do you think Millium will still join Class VII since they aren’t keeping an eye on you this time?” he questioned.  

Crow had never particularly grown close to the young Intelligence agent last time, too aware that she was there to keep an eye on him to ever feel particularly comfortable in her presence, but he remembered Rean telling him that she had stuck with them throughout the entire civil war back in his first life, sharing their triumphs and defeats, growing closer with everyone as a result.  

“I don’t know Rean, but if she’s meant to be here, she will be, somehow. I mean I’m still here, aren’t I?”   

“Yeah, you’re still here.”  

Rean fell silent after that, and after a moment, Crow realised that the younger male had fallen asleep. There were things that they should be discussing, like the information he had on the ILF’s next step and the things that they would need to do to prevent the events of the Summer festival, but Crow supposed that could wait for now. One night of rest would be fine.  

The next day Crow was formally introduced to Class VII as its newest member, everyone already familiar with the older boy, and not a single person surprised for the reason for his admittance into their class.   

“This boy, he came crying to me ‘Instructor Sara, I won’t have enough credits to graduate if you don’t take in my sorry ass!” She laughed.  

“Hey, this sorry ass passed the entrance exams with the highest score recorded thank you very much.” boasted Crow with a smirk, noticing Rean’s surprised face.  

“Yeah, yeah. Pity it didn’t last.”  

Crow didn’t even pretend to be embarrassed by her faux disappointment, simply walking in and draping himself over Rean in the back. Rean had rolled his eyes in exasperation, pushing the older boy off him and ignoring the resultant protests and cries caused by his actions. Eventually another desk was brought in, and Crow settled in to nap through the lessons. At the end of the day, he sat up yawning, arms stretched over his head and followed Rean out the door towards the dorm.  

Later that night, Rean silently helped Crow to dye his hair for his next meeting with the ILF, massaging the hair dye through his silvery strands, making sure to coat them thoroughly. He held in a slight snicker as he wrapped clear cling film around Crow’s head to allow the dye to set, Crow looking up at him with a pout at the amusement he could clearly see. Oh yes, he remembered why he hadn’t asked Rean to help him do this before; it was because for twenty minutes while he marinated, he looked like an absolute idiot. He was more than relieved when the timer finally went off, and he was able to remove the film and rinse the excess dye from his hair.  

Afterwards, he slipped in his green contacts and threw on a random assortment of clothes he’d picked up for this purpose, Crow was finally ready to head off to the next meeting.  

“You almost look like a different person,” observed Rean, tilting his head to take in his new look. “I might almost mistake you for someone else if I were any less familiar with you.”  

Teasing Rean that that had been the point of his disguise, Crow turned back for a moment before he jumped out the window of his room. It really wouldn’t do for any of the others to see him looking like this; it would raise questions that he didn’t want to answer.  

“I’ll let you know what happens tonight ok? If I’m lucky, we might even discover who has taken my place as leader.” Crow wasn’t bitter at all that his role in this story had been seemingly so easy to replace, but at least he had the last laugh over the fact that they didn’t have a Divine Knight this time. Ordine was still his, this time too.  

“Sure,” Rean replied quietly, watching Crow climb through his window. “Crow?”  

Crow turned, one foot already hanging outside, hesitating as he caught sight of Rean’s face.  

“Be careful, ok?”  

Crow climbed back in, cupping his hands around Rean’s face and pressing a chaste kiss against his pursed lips.  

“Always.” And then he was gone, leaving Rean standing alone, the cold air from the window adding an extra chill to the otherwise empty room.  

Crow sighed tiredly, running a hand through his dyed hair tiredly. He really wished he hadn’t attended this meeting of the ILF, but he’d begged off one too many times recently while he’d been busy disrupting any and every one of their plans, that it would soon start looking suspicious if he didn’t show his face. However, this didn’t even seem like it was going to be a planning meeting like Crow had hoped it would be, but more just a chance for all of the members to vent their anger over their latest failure in Nord.  

“I swear G, there was a giant that fell from the sky and attacked! There was no hope for them, and I woulda sworn they’d be dead for sure, but we got word they were taken in by the Intelligence Division.”  

“Come now, a giant falling from the sky? How absurd!” Gideon loftily ignored the angered shouts and protests around them, looking down to leaf through the handful of papers he held in his grasp.  

Crow hid his smirk behind his hand, amused to hear that Rean had been a little less stealthy in dealing with his own opponents than Crow had. Perhaps that is how Rean had managed to deal with everything on his own last time, Crow mused, vaguely recalling his subordinates mentioning the mortars had been cut in half rather than disabled. So much for subtlety, right Rean?  

“Regardless of our recent setbacks, we have a new plan to put into action during the Summer Festival......”  

The Summer Festival plans didn’t deviate much from what Crow himself had originally come up with, and he was beginning to wonder how much actual input he’d had on the decision making and coming up with plans for the ILF. If things were proceeding fairly similarly, perhaps it had been the others who had been the masterminds of the group. Or perhaps this was always the way things were meant to go, regardless of who was leading the group.  

Crow wanted to believe that that was the real reason, but he wasn’t so sure anymore and his mood had plummeted.  

“Hey new kid, you going to be available for this assignment, or will your absence be too noticeable?”  

Crow shook himself from his thoughts, responding to the question and wiggling his way out of yet another mission, though adrenaline began to course through his veins at the thought of finally coming face to face with the person who had taken his place in this life. He honestly had no idea who the leader of the ILF could be, and no one in this group that he had been welcomed into had much to say about them, besides that he would not lead them astray.  

Climbing back into his window in the third dormitory later that night, Crow was unsurprised to see Rean curled up on his bed, the idiot obviously having fallen asleep waiting for him since he wasn’t even under the covers.  

“Idiot,” whispered Crow fondly, gently shifting Rean under the covers and joining him after he removed his contacts and rinsed out the dye from his hair. Settling onto his back, he was unsurprised when Rean shifted closer, his head leaning against his shoulder, hand pressed against his chest.  

It was a habit that Crow had noticed that they had both picked up at some point, both seeking reassurance that they were still there, still alive. That their hearts were still beating strong and sure.  

Rean woke slowly, arms wrapped around him tightly, his face buried in Crow’s shoulder, fingers unconsciously clenching in the material over Crow’s chest. He couldn’t remember Crow returning, or falling asleep, so he assumed that he had fallen asleep while he’d been waiting.  

He had been awake for barely five minutes before he could feel Crow beginning to stir, the arms around him tightening briefly, before falling away. Rean tilted his head back to look up at Crow, staring into sleepy crimson eyes, watching as they turned into crescents as he smiled.  

“Mornin’” Crow greeted, turning to hide a yawn in his free shoulder.  

“Good morning Crow, how was your meeting last night?”  

“Fine, nothing we hadn’t already been expecting,” Crow grumbled, still a little petulant about things remaining the same even without his input. “Still no idea who’s running the show though, but I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”  

“I suppose we will,” agreed Rean quietly.  

Crow could tell by the way Rean remained slightly tense, that there was something on his mind, but after waiting for several minutes without him speaking, he finally nudged him to say what it was that was bothering him.  

“Come on then, spit it out.”  

“Pardon?”  

“Whatever it is that’s still on your mind.” Crow jostled Rean playfully, letting out a short laugh as he yelped, letting out a pained ‘oof’ when Rean retaliated by elbowing him in the ribs. Rean snickered slightly, before he sobered, the smile fading from his face.  

“You know who we’ll end up meeting in Heimdallr if things progress the same as last time don’t you?” Crow nodded, already knowing where this was going. “And you do realise that if Prince Olivert asks me to watch over his sister, I will accept again. Are you going to be alright with that this time?”  

Crow clenched his hands into fists, his jaw tightening until his teeth ground together, remembering last time, the betrayal and anger he had felt towards Rean the moment he had accepted. He had been such a jealous fool, hadn’t he? Treating Rean so coldly, pretending he couldn’t see the hurt he tried to hide. Crow couldn’t believe what a complete arse he had been to him, especially not after witnessing his breakdown in the cemetery the night before. He couldn’t believe that he had only realised later, much, much later, that Rean had simply been trying to protect those that he cared for, not deliberately trying to oppose him and disrupt his plans. Well, not that time anyway.  

Crow also remembered the spray of hot blood that had hit his face as Rean had stood in front of him, protecting him from the bone dragon down in the waterway, the ashen pale colour of Rean’s face, the slight tremble of his lips as he had asked if Crow were okay, even as he himself bled out in front of him while Crow remained unharmed.   

Crow wasn’t going to let either of those things happen this time.  

“I’m not going to lie and pretend that I like you being seen as Princess Alfin’s escort, since we all know what sort of rumours that is going to start, but I’m not going to stop you from protecting those who are important to you either. Even if you’ve never actually explained just how you know the princess, besides her being Elise’s friend.”  

“A tale for another time perhaps,” Rean’s smile was melancholy, the sadness Crow could see lingering in his lowered gaze enough to convince him not to pry further. Not today anyway.  

After that, there wasn’t really much else to be said or done until the Festival begun, beside the usual trying to make plans to defeat both Osborne and Ishmelga. They were struggling to find a way around Rean holding a piece of the curse within himself, and even if they were to track down Vita, neither her nor Roselia had had any ideas regarding how to remove that without Rean dying. Perhaps they might have been able to work something out if they had had more time, but Rean doubted it. It would honestly take a miracle to remove the curse from his heart without killing him.  

But as far as Crow was concerned, Rean dying again wasn’t an option to begin with.  

Unfortunately, Rean didn’t seem to be of the same mind, but fortunately for himself, he kept those thoughts to himself for the moment, or Crow would have had a lot of things to say on the matter.   

Very loud, very angry things.  

Between all the planning and brainstorming that felt little more than useless, Rean and Crow trained to grow stronger. It was good to be able to test themselves against a strong opponent, both managing to fall into a familiar back and forth. Unlike last time though, when Rean had trained on his own, barring that one time that Crow had followed him out, the sounds of their combat drew attention and the rest of Class VII soon joined in their training sessions.  

First had come Laura and Fie, separately of course, something that Rean had not been surprised about, it saddened them to see the tension between them again though. Instead of waiting for the Summer Festival for them to battle out their differences, not to mention getting questioned by the local authorities for not only being out late, but engaging in combat, Crow had somehow managed to goad them into it early. He really didn’t want to spend another night being held for questioning, and he was determined to do whatever he could to avoid it. He’d also made sure that there was a crowd to witness the event, and of course he had started taking bets on who would win.  

Rean had refused to place a bet and was amused at how dismayed Crow was when their duel ended in a draw.  

What had surprised him about their initial appearance though, was the look of shock upon Laura’s face as she entered the room and caught sight of Crow’s double sabre.  

“You!” she had exclaimed, hurrying forwards, eyes alight with amazement.  

“Me?” questioned Crow, finger pointing towards himself, and looking back and forth between Rean and Laura in confusion.  

“Yes! I recall seeing you in Legram several years ago. You were there with your family.” explained Laura with excitement. “I remember being surprised by your unique weapon and wishing that I could fight against you. Fate it would seem, has given me the chance now to live out this wish of mine.”  

After that the girls had demanded to spar against Crow and Rean, and although this time they had not beaten them, Rean was still proud of the way they fought.  

With his appreciation for the sword arts, Jusis had come next, both intrigued by the abilities that Rean and Crow were both displaying, and the ancient blade that he had never before laid eyes on. Machias came next, Rean having to stifle his laugh when his face had twisted into a scowl when he noticed Jusis sparring with Crow in the corner, determined not to be outdone by the other boy.  

Alisa had drifted in one afternoon and never left, working on ranged combat with Crow and Machias, eventually pulling a protesting Emma in with her. After witnessing the huge improvements in their technique in the most recent practical exam and hearing Sara’s exclamations of surprise, Elliot and Gaius too had joined them.  

Crow couldn’t believe the vast improvement he could see in them all, compared to how weak they had all seemed last time. He wondered, if Rean had trained with them like this last time, if they had all been this strong, would he have been able to beat them? Would things have turned out differently? There wasn’t really any use spending so much time thinking about pointless musings, but still, it was sometimes difficult not to wonder what might have been.  

With the summer festival fast approaching, Crow had wheedled and bribed and begged to make sure that Sara placed him in Rean’s team for the Heimdallr field study, not sure if he liked the gleam in her eyes as she had finally agreed after he had managed to procure a rare bottle of single malt whiskey from Micht. Even with that though, Crow still hadn’t been sure that Sara wouldn’t place him on the opposite team just to spite him, right up until he had read his name in black and white, right there on the paper beside Rean’s name.  

He pretended that he didn’t see her wink at him, though it was harder to ignore her obnoxious laughter as he turned his back on her to stand beside Rean, even though his relief and thankfulness was great.  

Chapter Text

And then just like that, they were on board the train heading towards Heimdallr, the entirety of Class VII bound for the same place for their field study for the first time. The trip wasn’t long, but that didn’t detract from Crow’s enjoyment as he beat each and every one of them at games of Blade, only to once again, be humbled by Rean easily whooping his ass.  

He really needed to even his win loss ratio when it came to Rean, the other boy was ruining his reputation. That was fine though, Crow would give up a lot more than just his reputation for Rean.  

Crow couldn’t believe that he had forgotten that they’d been met by the RMP princess Claire Rieveldt herself and escorted into a private room located within the train station where Governor Regnitz met them. Crow would admit that he found far too much amusement in imagining Machias looking just like the man he was currently staring at, instead of paying even the slightest bit of attention to what it was they were meant to be doing during their field study. He already knew what was going to happen anyway, past future insights and all that. The only dampener on his good mood, was the presence of a certain woman, lingering in the room with them.  

Really, even though Crow wasn’t actively plotting against Osborne and his Ironbloods, something about Claire just rubbed him the wrong way. He wasn’t sure if it was the way she talked or her attitude, or just if he was that petty an asshole to hold past transgressions that hadn’t even happened in this life, against her. Either way, he had to remind himself not to glare daggers into her back the entire time they had to endure her presence.  

If the squeeze Rean gave his hand was any indication, the other boy obviously could tell just how much he was holding back. Unnecessary as the gesture was, Crow found himself glad that at least someone appreciated the restraint he was showing.  

When they all parted ways afterwards, Crow will admit, that he found it amusing to trail behind all the others with Rean, watching as they scurried around trying to find their lodgings for the night. Crow wondered how Rean had managed to keep his amusement under wraps last time, as he’d had to stifle a few snorts of laughter as they went round in circles for a few minutes. Softy that he was, Crow was sure that Rean would intervene if they got themselves too far from where they were supposed to be.  

However, that night, instead of waking up to the sounds of Rean leaving the room and trailing behind him out of the Bracer’s Guild and towards the Cemetary, Crow left side by side with Rean, walking silently down the dark and deserted streets until their reached their destination.  

Without a word, both boys made their way towards the corner in the back, drawn there by the left-over grief that they both felt.  

Rean dropped to his knees before that empty space, Crow catching a look of sorrow upon his face, the expression likely mirrored upon his own. This time though, there were no tears, no agonising screams and sobs tearing themselves from what had felt like the very depths of his soul; no watching Rean fall apart before his eyes, nor chances offered and accepted by a mysterious voice. This time it was just Rean and Crow, kneeling silently, side by side upon an empty plot of land that held nothing but tragic memories of the one that they had loved.  

But unlike Crow, who had his Rean from last time sitting whole and healthy beside him, the person Rean had buried hadn’t been him, not really. It had been another Crow, hadn’t it? Another person that Rean had come back in time to try and save, not him. And suddenly and irrationally, Crow began to feel jealous. He’d known, he’s always known that the Crow Rean was fighting for wasn’t him; he’d thought he was ok with being second in Rean’s heart after that other man, but he realised that he wasn’t.  

“Why are you even here Rean? Why are you doing any of this?” Crow broke the silence with his bitter questions, hand flying out in an all-encompassing gesture.  

He was angry he realised.  

Angry with Rean for loving another Crow, angry with himself for not being able to accept what he could get of Rean’s affections, and most of all, angry at that other Crow who even to this day still held his Rean’s heart in his cold, dead hands.  

“What do you mean Crow?” questioned Rean, the grief fading from his expression, only to be replaced with confusion. “I’m here because I wanted a chance to save you, to change things for the better.”  

“But you didn’t do this to save me did you Rean?” Crow grit out from between clenched teeth. “You accepted that offer to save Crow, the other one. Not me. The Crow that you are in love with. I’ve always been nothing more to you than a convenient replacement.”  

The look on Rean’s face changed again, disbelief and hurt etched deeply, and in hindsight, perhaps Crow should have been prepared for the crack of Rean’s fist against his chest.  

“You bastard,” Rean’s tortured whisper felt like it was flaying him open, the hole in his chest opening even wider as the other boy spun on his heel and prepared to storm away.  

Fuck, fuck he’d screwed up Crow knew. He’d so stupidly let his own insecurities overwhelm him, and in the process, he had hurt Rean.  

“Wait! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Or maybe I did, I don’t know.” Crow reached out for Rean, grabbing his hand and not letting go even when Rean tried to shake off his hold. Finally, Rean stopped struggling, turning to face Crow, his arms crossed before his chest, face blank.  

“What I mean is that, you’re the same person I met last time. You have all the same memories, the same personality, the same experiences together with me. You’re you.” he drew in a shaking breath, trying to put his thoughts into coherent words to explain himself. “But it’s not the same for you with me.  

“The Crow that I am now, and the Crow I was last time was the same, but the one from the first time? That wasn’t me. I don’t have his memories; I don’t have his experiences; he’s not me and I’m not him. But it was him that you loved at first, and whatever you feel for me now, maybe that’s just left over from what you felt for him.”  

Rean’s harsh stare softened, his arms relaxing from their tense pose.  

“Is that what this is all about Crow? Weren’t you listening to me the night of the bonfire? No one has ever made me feel like this before.”  

“But you...”  

“When I came back that first time, I thought that I loved the Crow I had known from my first life.” interrupted Rean. “After meeting you for the first time, I thought you’d be the same. But spending time with you and getting to know who you are, I realised that you aren’t the same person, not to me anyway. The other Crow, I can now honestly say that I never really knew him. We spent so little time together before he joined Class VII, and then he was only part of that for a couple of months. And not just that, but he was always so guarded, never really letting anyone in, never letting you see past the surface of what he wanted you to see.  

“So I would say, if anything, I fell in love with an illusion of a man, or perhaps it was simply the idea of love that drew me in.”  

Rean reached out his cold hands, cupping Crow’s cheeks gently and bringing their heads close together so that he could stare into disbelieving crimson eyes.  

“But you were different. Even when you tried to hide and to keep me out, you still always let me in. There may have been a shorter time we had known one another, but during that, I spent infinitely more time with you than I even did with that other Crow. I never knew the other Crow, he never let me know him. But I know you.”  

“Rean...” Crow blinked rapidly, eyes stinging slightly. It was just the wind, he told himself, even though not a single leaf nor blade of grass rustled, the night still as the dead surrounding them.  

But not them, this time neither of them were buried here, and Crow was determined to keep it that way.  

“Besides,” Crow quirked a brow curiously as Rean flushed slightly, eyes dropping away from their locked stare. “I thought our night together would have been enough indication about my feelings for you. I hadn’t done that before, only you.”  

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Goddess Rean, I don’t deserve you,” uttered Crow, cupping the back of Rean’s head and pulling him in, lips ghosting over Rean’s, light as a butterfly’s wing. They kissed slowly, soft brushes of their lips, neither boy pushing to deepen it. It felt as though each touch pulled Crow further into the Rean’s orbit, drawing him closer and closer, until he could scarce tell where he ended, and Rean begun. Until his world revolved around Rean, because right now, in this moment, Rean was the only damned thing that mattered to Crow.  

With a shuddering breath, Crow finally pulled away, breaking that fragile connection he had felt, leaving him feeling almost bereft in its absence. Slowly, his eyes slipped open, Crow not even realising that he’d closed them, only to meet with soft lilac staring back at him, Rean’s knowing stare searing his very soul. He knew how Crow felt now, because right in that moment, Rean felt that aching emptiness too.  

Crow reached out to hold Rean, and the ache faded.  

They shifted until they were leaning side by side, resting against the fence surrounding the cemetery, their backs to the glowing city of Heimdallr, arms wrapped tight around one another as though scared to let go. Crow knew that they really should have been returning to the Guild to sleep, but somehow, he couldn’t tear himself away from this place.  

It was as though being here, now with Rean, was helping him to let go of some of the grief he had felt, screaming himself hoarse before Rean’s grave; and he wondered if the same could be said for Rean. Was sitting here with Crow enough to ease some of the heartache the other Crow had left? Erase some of that stupidly, misplaced guilt that he had felt?  

They sat silently beside one another, neither voicing their thoughts, until Crow felt the weight against his side increase. Looking over he could see that Rean had fallen asleep, his dark hair covering his closed eyes, hiding the hopelessness he saw reflected in them each time their gazes met.  

Crow let Rean sleep until the chill wind began biting at him through his clothes, and the moon began the downwards descent. He shook him gently, a soft smile tugging at his lips as Rean’s sleepy face tilted up towards his, furrowed brow creasing grumpily at being woken.  

“Come on Rean, it’s time to head back to the Guild now. Before someone notices we’re missing.” he coaxed, gingerly stretching out his cold limbs, trying to shake some feeling back into them.  

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” confessed Rean sleepily, rubbing his fist against his eye in what Crow thought was an adorable gesture. “Did you...?”  

“No I....no.” Crow hadn’t been able to, had been terrified to do so, fearful that if he fell asleep here and woke up, he would find that this had all been just a dream and Rean would still be dead and buried before him. Thankfully, Rean seemed to be able to guess at his thoughts, because he didn’t say anything, simply reached out and twined their cold hands together, before shoving them both into the pocket of his jacket. Crow choked out a laugh as he was pulled down slightly due to their height difference, but a sulky pout from Rean kept him quiet.  

Together they walked away from the Himmel Cemetery, hopefully leaving old ghosts behind to rest.  

Far above them, the stars shined down upon them softly, the waning light of the crescent moon barely lighting the way, though neither boy needed the light; they both knew this path by heart. They stumbled their way through the doors to the Bracer’s Guild as quietly as they could, though it didn’t seem to matter as they were greeted by the sight of several of their group waiting up for them in the lounge.  

Fie was curled up on one of the lounges, her eyes half closed, struggling to remain awake. Laura and Machias were seated at the table, steaming mugs held in their hands, eyes narrowed at the sight of the two boys slipping through the door.  

Suddenly Rean was wide awake, any semblance of sleepiness fleeing instantly.  

“Uh...hey guys. What are you doing up?” Ok, maybe that wasn’t the smartest thing to say, not if they way Machias' eyes narrowed further and Fie, who was suddenly very much awake, stared at them in disbelief.  

“We could ask of you the same Rean, Crow.” Laura responded pointedly. “Imagine our surprise when Machias banged on our door to wake us, yelling that both of you were missing from your beds and nowhere to be found within the Guild.” Rean lowered his eyes guiltily, knowing it was his fault for falling asleep causing them to return so late. “I trust you both have a reasonable explanation?”  

“It was something we needed to do, somewhere we needed to visit.” Crow interjected before Rean could open his mouth, staring the others down as their eyebrows rose in surprise.  

“And just where did you need to go so late?”  

“It was personal.” he stared defiantly into Machias’s eyes as he seemed to be willing them to confess, Laura looking back and forth between them, torn between letting the matter drop and pushing them for more answers.  

“We went to the cemetery,” Rean’s quiet voice broke the standoff, drawing all of their attention towards himself.  

“The cemetery? What for?”  

“That’s none of our business,” suddenly Fie was there, elbowing Machias aside and frowning at him when he looked like he was going to protest. “It’s late, you guys should get some rest. We have a busy day tomorrow.”  

“Thanks Fie,” Rean smiled gratefully at her, Crow also nodding his thanks as they shuffled off together towards their beds. No one missed the way their hands remained tangled together from the moment they had stepped inside the Guild, until the moment the door to the bedroom closed behind them.  

Silence pervaded the space after their departure, no one knowing quite what to say in the wake of Rean’s revelation, until Fie stretched her arms over her head, mouth falling open in a wide yawn.  

“It’s late, we should all get some sleep now too.”  

“But what about...” Laura began, only to be cut off.  

“Fie’s right, it’s none of our business.” sighed Machias heavily, beginning to make his own way towards his abandoned bed. “If or when they’re ready to talk, we’ll be here, but pushing them now won’t do anyone any good. Good night.”  

“Come on,” Fie tugged lightly on Laura’s sleeve to get the older girl moving, “let’s go to bed.”  

On a night similar to this one, in another life, they would have all been up, watching these two fight out their differences with one another. But in this life, their fight had already been fought, their clashing perspectives changed and moulded into something more pliable and forgiving. In this life, they retreated into their own room as classmates and friends.  

The next day was pretty miserable, in Crow’s completely unbiased, opinion. First off, he and Rean were mentally exhausted from the night before, neither managing to get any proper sleep after their return either. They both had shadows beneath their eyes, and the looks the others kept shooting them, no matter how subtle they thought they were being, was beginning to get on his nerves. Then secondly, his bruised chest still ached where Rean had, very rightfully, punched him.  

Elliot could obviously tell that something had happened the night before, and his curious, if hesitant, questions that they refused to answer, did not help matters.  

Crow was rapidly reaching the end of his tether, and it was only Rean’s warm hand curling around his own that kept him from snapping. Of course, the day didn’t get much better from that point either.  

Somehow Crow had forgotten about the stupid treasure hunt that Bleublanc had arranged, and he grumbled the entire time they ended up travelling all over their half of Heimdallr “searching” for clues. Needless to say, Rean already knew exactly where they needed to go, but there was no way he wouldn’t look suspicious if he were to lead them straight to the final destination.  

“Well, well. There’s a face I didn’t think I would be seeing again so soon,” Phantom Thief B drawled, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth as the others exchanged confused looks. Only Rean wasn’t confused, and he was beginning to regret their idea of seeking this man out to ask after Vita.  

“You know one another?” Somehow Machias didn’t sound as surprised as Crow thought he should; as though it wasn’t really a shock that Crow would know someone so unscrupulous. Crow thought he should be offended, strike that, he was offended. He had much more class than to be acquainted with the likes of an Enforcer.... this time anyway.  

“We met. Once.” explained Crow begrudgingly. “Good chat and all that, now what was the point of this entire farce?”  

“I’d hardly call you pulling your orbal gun on me a good chat...” Bleublanc chortled. Rean looked half a moment away from burying his head in his hands. That is not how the chat was supposed to go. It was meant to be a friendly chat, Crow! Friendly. No orbal guns drawn at all! “As for the point of all this, why, must there be one? Could not the point have been to simply provide entertainment for myself momentarily?”  

Crow frowned, reaching for his orbal guns, watching as Bleublanc’s eyes widened slightly behind his mask before he quickly teleported to the relative safety of the bridge. It was obvious the other man hadn’t expected Crow to react so violently. But he was tired and irritated, and in just over an hour his partner was about to be asked to escort a literal princess to a very public event, so cut him some slack.  

“Well then, I must be off now. I look forward to your future endeavours. Ta-ta now!”  

“Crow...”  

“What? He was getting on my nerves, and he was never going to let himself be arrested anyway.” defended Crow. “But we’ve got the tiara back, so let’s just return it and be done with this request.”  

Crow was antsy as they waited for the rest of Class VII to arrive at St Astraia’s, pacing restlessly before the gate, until Rean reached out and caught hold of his arm. He was almost tempted to shake off the comforting hand, but Crow knew he couldn’t do that.  

He was stupid, he knew. He’d talked this over with Rean, had agreed with him that this was the best course of action to make sure that everyone was safe. But, well that didn’t stop him from feeling jealousy well up in his chest.  

“Hey, are you okay Crow?” asked Rean, pulling Crow down until their foreheads rested against one another.  

“No,” bit out Crow bluntly, sighing when Rean flinched. “Sorry, no it’s not your fault. It’s fine, I’m fine.”  

“If you don’t want me to agree....”  

“Then you’ll feel horrible for not being there and preventing what will happen, and I’ll feel horrible for making you choose that decision because I was being an idiot.”  

“You’re not being an idiot,” Rean scolded Crow.  

“Aw,” Crow pressed a quick kiss against Rean’s lips before he pulled back slightly, “thanks for saying that, but we both know how much of an idiot I am or can be.”  

Rean didn’t have a chance to protest again, because just at that moment, the gate creaked open, a shocked exclamation of his name drawing his attention. He looked around Crow’s bulk to see Elise staring at him in dismay, her blue eyes blown wide, hand covering her mouth. Oh, well he supposed he wouldn’t be waiting until the bonfire to let Elise down, though he did wish he had had a chance to talk to her after her realisation, but there wasn’t the chance.  

Things proceeded in much the same way as it had the last two times, though Elise did seem a lot more distant and more scolding when Alfin teased her subtly about her infatuation with Rean. However, Prince Olivert still asked Rean to accompany Alfin the next day, and after sharing a glance with Crow just to make sure he hadn’t changed his mind, Rean agreed.  

The teasing that he endured as they left St Astraia’s was irritating, and sometimes Rean wished that the others could just get a clue and realised that he wasn’t interested in Alfin that way. Nor was he oblivious to Elise’s obvious feelings for him, but how was it his fault for not reciprocating them? How had he been leading her on, when for his entire life, for all three of his lives, he had thought of her as nothing more than a beloved little sister?  

“Ok that is enough,” Crow could clearly tell that Rean was at the end of his patience and had stepped in to save him from exploding. He gently twined their fingers together, staring down at the others with hard eyes, as though waiting for one of them to make another comment on Rean’s private life. When they didn’t, he decided to continue. “We’ve got a big day ahead of us all tomorrow, and Rean and I have a few requests if you’re willing to listen?”  

It hadn’t been too hard trying to convince the others of the possibility of things going wrong the next day. There had already been whispers and hints here and there of things not quite right, so getting them on board with their plans hadn’t been too difficult. No one outright asked them how or why they knew the things that they did, nor why they were so convinced of the plan of action to take, but Rean and Crow both noticed the piercing stares coming from more than one person.  

They just hoped the rest of them would hold off on their questions until they were able to answer them; if that was even possible.  

Crow knew that Rean wouldn’t approve, but that didn’t mean that he let that stop him from placing bets on the races in the junior competition. He remembered how Angelica had lorded it over him when she had managed to pick the winners and decided that this time, he wasn’t going to be a loser. So, he placed his bets, already with the knowledge of just who was going to win. The look Rean had shot him when he discovered Crow’s stunt had been more amused than scolding, so Crow counted that as a win.  

What use was all this future knowledge if you weren’t going to use it? Crow thought. Besides the whole, saving the world and making sure Rean didn’t die thing, of course.  

And then the time for fun and games was over, and the feeling that continued to grow within Crow swelled in his chest further as the attack on the Crystal Garden proceeded exactly the same as it had when he had been the one to plan the strike. He had already been waiting down in the Underground Waterway, ready to catch the falling girls and help Rean to take them to safety, passing both off to Machias and Laura who were waiting in the Ost district beside the door leading out of the Waterway. There were no military cars waiting for them – there would have been no way to ask for one without sounding incredibly suspicious – but Machias was familiar enough with the district to be able to get the girls to safety.  

Rean and Crow met up with the rest of Class VII as they raced through the tunnels, soon encountering Gideon, raging about youths that kept spoiling all his plans. He paused when he caught sight of Class VII, anger blazing across his face. Crow had had a brief moment of panic when Gideon’s gaze had paused on him, but violet eyes had passed over him without comment.  

And then came that damned bone dragon that G had summoned with his flute, and Crow had truly relished being able to destroy that cursed object.  

The fight against the bone dragon was just as difficult as Crow remembered it being, his sabre spinning in his hand as he fended off strikes from tooth, claw and tail. There was a brief moment when Rean had jumped in front of Crow to defend him when he had been locked in a stalemate with the dragon’s claws, its tail flying straight towards them.  

Crow had a flashback of hot blood hitting his face, of Rean’s pained grimace as he had stood before him, a hole in his shoulder oozing blood, and had dropped his sabre, drawing his orbal guns and firing at the tail until it was thrown off course. They had the briefest of moments to share a look, before they were thrown back into the fighting. It didn’t take too long to defeat the bone dragon, but Rean and Crow knew that it was long enough for the ILF to set themselves up ready to launch an attack.  

Even though Crow had been expecting it, he still could only stare in disbelief as the leader of the ILF came down those stairs, reciting the same words as he had, and wearing the same damned outfit as he had. The same pants, the same cape, the same helmet. Crow wouldn’t even be surprised if this imposter was even wearing the same damned underwear as he had. He didn’t even look that good in it! Far too short and not muscular enough, Crow thought with a dismissive sniff.  

Also, had he really been that dramatic? Crow wondered. The speech he was currently listening to, made him want to hang his head in shame. Goddess, what had he been thinking?  

“I looked far superior in that outfit than this imposter ever could,” Crow mumbled for Rean’s ears only, hearing Rean’s snort of laughter in response. “Whatever happened to originality? He’s using my designs, I made that!”  

Crow grew even more disgusted with this new leader of the ILF, this ‘Comrade B’ when they fought against him, the idiot at least intelligent enough to recognise Rean and Crow as two of the strongest fighters in the group. But the fight had been one-sided from the beginning. Comrade B used a single blade that he appeared proficient enough in using, but he was nothing special. He used artes sparingly, and by the time Scarlet and Vulcan had had to step in, it had been clear to all there, that he would have lost the fight against the two students.  

“Pathetic,” condemned Crow, disgusted that his place had been taken by this lackey. There was a small sound of agreement from Rean, that let Crow know that he too found this leader rather lacking in every possible way. Even his speech had lacked the passion Crow had put behind it.  

Crow also noted that he seemed to have a bit of a nasty temper on him, not something conductive for his role as a terrorist leader. He wondered just how in Aidios this idiot had managed to pull off as much as he had, and then he began to wonder, had he been the same? Had Crow even been the one to make the decisions, or had the others done that for him? He had thought it was him, but with things going exactly the same way, but with a completely different leader, had Crow even been anything more than just a figurehead? Someone to take the blame at the end of everything?  

Had Crow’s existence even been necessary?  

But then he looked over at Rean, had seen the small smile on his face, aimed right towards him, and he had known; at least to this one person, his existence was very necessary.  

Chapter Text

It had been incredibly strange to be standing before the emperor as he thanked them for saving not only his daughter, but the entire Summer Festival also. They had been invited last time also, but with Rean injured from the fight with the bone dragon, Crow had elected to stay with him in the hospital rather than attend.  

He hadn’t been able to stand there and accept the older man’s thanks, when it had been him and his own planning which had put the princess into that position in the first place. This time though, Crow had helped to avert those very same plans from happening and he could say with certainty, that he felt significantly better standing on this side of enemy lines; one of the ‘good guys’ as it were.  

Crow had almost forgotten how they had run into Osborne on their way out of the Palace, the animosity he still felt towards the older man beginning to simmer beneath his skin. He knows more now though, and he had accepted that no matter what he did, revenge would not bring him the satisfaction nor the closure that he had once thought it would. Even if Rean hadn’t died because of his actions at that time, Crow realised that killing Osborne wasn’t what his grandfather would have wanted. But that didn’t mean he could accept the man, or the actions he had taken that had led to everything that had come after.  

What had shocked not only Crow, but the entirety of Class VII along with the Chancellor himself, had been Rean’s quiet request to speak privately with the older man. It had been equally shocking for Crow to see the way that Osborne’s emerald eyes had flickered with some unnamed emotion, his lips pulling down into the smallest of frowns before he had graciously agreed to the meeting.  

He really hadn’t expected to be made part of the meeting either, but Rean had looked expectantly at him as Osborne turned to lead him further into the palace towards his private office, and Crow hadn’t been able to refuse him. Offering a helpless shrug towards the rest of their classmates, Crow had quickly walked to follow the pair, nearly breaking into a jog to catch up. It appeared as though Osborne was just as surprised by his presence, the older man staring at him curiously, before his gaze was inevitably drawn back towards Rean.  

He offered them refreshments, a short silence falling between them all as he poured their tea, looking expectantly at Rean once he had taken several sips of his drink.  

“I must say, I am curious about what you wished to speak with me about privately. And why Armbrust is also present currently.”  

So Osborne knew who he was, Crow thought to himself. He wondered if he remembered his grandfather and what he had done to ruin his life too. He kept the snarl from his face by willpower alone.  

Rean silently observed the other man for a long moment over the rim of his cup, his lilac eyes really taking in the sight of him. This man... this was his biological father, and Rean barely knew a thing about him. Of course, he knew all about his public persona and all of the questionable things that he had done, remembered him even smirking down upon his trembling form as he informed him of their connection. But Rean didn’t know the man behind the facade, not really. And the sad thing was, this person sitting before him wasn’t even completely his father anymore. This man was tainted by Ishmelga’s influence, though how much, Rean currently did not know.  

“Twelve years ago, I was abandoned in the middle of a blizzard in the Eisengard Range,” Rean began, seemingly out of nowhere. Crow took note of the way Osborne flinched back, a brief expression of grief flashing across his face before he smoothed his expression back into a polite blankness.  

“An interesting piece of information, but I fail to see how this pertains to our current meeting Mr Schwarzer.” Osborne intoned, his voice flat and disinterested. If Crow hadn’t seen that look on his face before, however fleeting it had been, he would have assumed Rean’s words had meant nothing to him.  

Rean’s gaze pierced straight through that indifference, seeing below to the man hidden beneath.  

“I know that that man who left me there was you. I am aware that you are my father, and that you left me in the Eisengard Range during that blizzard for Teo and Lucia to find, and I wanted to thank you for doing that; for entrusting me to such wonderful people.”  

Osborne’s derisive laughter rang hollowly throughout the room, the sound echoing oddly in the otherwise silent room. He opened his mouth, surely to deride Rean for his statement, but Rean beat him to it.  

“But beyond that,” Rean continued, voice and gaze unwavering, two lifetimes worth of experience lending him their steadfastness. “I know that you have made a deal with the Ebon Knight, Ishmelga, that you plan to unleash the Great Twilight upon Erebonia.  

“I know that I can and will stop you, but that I will lose my life in the attempt. We both will.”  

Crow sucked in a tortured breath, images of Rean dying in his arms flashing before his eyes. No, he couldn’t allow that to happen again. He wouldn’t. He had promised himself that no one would die this time.  

“I know that our paths lead to very different places, and that it is extremely unlikely that you would allow me to know your plans... but I wanted to be able to speak with you, like this, just once before the inevitable end.”  

Silence fell upon the group once more, Osborne’s face a twisted mess of disbelief and fury, his eyes flashing with an otherworldly anger that did not seem to stem from the man himself.  

“I don’t know who you think you are...!” Osborne grit out between clenched teeth.  

“I am Rean Schwarzer, and I am your son. And I will save you, even if you do not believe that you need saving.” stated Rean calmly, rising from his seat and offering a short bow to the older man.  

Osborne stared at him silently for a moment, before he allowed harsh laughter to fall from his lips, teeth flashing dangerously as he finally allowed his mask to fall.  

“Ha, hahaha. My, how you have grown! Perhaps I should not have left you with Teo, not when you have grown into someone who can be of use to us.”  

Rean paused, hurt reflecting in his eyes, before he blinked, the expression disappearing between one moment and the next.  

“If things had been different, I would have liked to have learned swordsmanship from you, Father. Farewell, Chancellor Osborne. When we next meet, it will be across a battlefield.”  

Rean walked calmly out of the door, leaving Crow scrambling to catch up, allowing him the briefest moment to witness something completely unbelievable to him. He saw Osborne crumble, his face wreathed in grief.  

“Kasia, our son... Look at how well he’s grown.”  

Crow wondered, had that been the true Osborne just then, that he had seen?  

Crow and Rean re-joined the rest of Class VII after they left the office, neither responding to their curious questions, and eventually they got the hint and fell silent. Rean knew that what he had done was foolish in the extreme, to show the enemy his hand so early in the game; but he had wanted to speak with his father, even just once before the point of no return. Perhaps he had foolishly hoped that his shocking words would convince the other to join his side, or to give him an explanation as to his actions. He had done neither, and Rean would have to live with the knowledge that Osborne hadn’t even thought him worthy of that.  

Upon returning to Thors, the news that not only Rean, but Crow too, would be leaving during the summer break was broken to the class to their great surprise.  

“But you’re not a Noble!” Alisa yelled, frustration colouring her voice as she stamped her foot on the ground. Crow wasn’t sure if she was angrier about Crow ditching yet more classes, or the fact that he was able to accompany Rean. Honestly, he didn’t really care either way, so long as Rean didn’t abandon him for that month again.  

“Special permission for extra credit,” Crow winked at her, simply infuriating her further. Crow wasn’t sure if Sara really believed that he and Rean were going to Ymir to learn, nor the half assed excuse he had provided her with, in order to be given permission to accompany Rean. But she had still given her permission, even going as far as to have Vandyck sign off on everything to make it all official.  

Crow dodged Alisa’s flying hands with a laugh, ducking behind Rean and pretending to beg for mercy. Alisa subsided with a glare, grumpily returning to the lounge and sitting beside Emma on the seats.  

Rean just shook his head at him, pushing Crow forwards until they joined the rest of their classmates for the small farewell party that they had decided to throw them when they’d learnt of their imminent departure.  

They departed early the next morning, sharing a last breakfast with the rest of their classmates, before they bid everyone farewell and headed to the station. They’d checked the Isthmia Forest area where Rean had found Vita last time; but she didn’t appear before them this time. Without her help, and without Roselia making an appearance, they hadn’t been able to enter Eryn, so they had moved on fairly quickly.  

The trip had given Rean an idea though, and he had asked Crow to summon Ordine, calling for Valimar also, and asking both Knights if they had been able to feel the presence of Ishmelga anywhere.  

“Apologies Rean,” Ordine intoned after long, tense moments. “Although we are aware of his presence, we are unable to pinpoint his probable location.”  

Once more, Rean pulled from his memories from his last life, to direct the Knights towards Avon Hills, Osgiliath Basin and Bryonia Island. However, no matter how long they searched, neither Valimar nor Ordine could sense the presence of the Ebon Knight. Although it had been located there last time, Rean had to wonder if him speaking with Osborne previously had caused him to be more vigilant, or to change the location of the Knight.  

Disheartened, the boys continued to travel around nearly aimlessly, helping out where they were needed and chasing down any rumours; much as Rean had done last time. So far, this hadn’t managed to net them any real results, but they were determined to keep on going until their time ran out.  

They weren’t going to give up, not now. Not ever.  

However, without any real destination in mind, they were slightly at a loss as to where to go now. They had been to Saint Ark, Heimdallr, and Parm.  

They were currently in Legram now, having followed the train line as far down south as possible. Rean had let Crow know all about the strange things that had happened during the field study to Legram, and they had taken a boat over to the castle to investigate, but there had been no signs of the Nosferatu nor the mysterious, lance wielder that had saved them the first time he’d visited. There hadn’t been any cryptids either and neither Knight had been able to feel any fluctuations or disturbances in the spirit veins. In fact, barring that all too familiar door, Lohengrin Castle had seemed completely normal.  

But none of that had helped them with their current search.   

Not a single sighting of Vita to be seen or heard of within the area, or any of the previous towns they had visited. Perhaps foolishly, Rean had hoped that Vita would seek him out as she had last time if she had discovered that he was looking for her. But then again, things had changed, hadn’t they? For one, she hadn’t guided Crow to Ordine, so he was no longer her Awakener, and she hadn’t bothered with creating her Misty persona and starting Abend Time while she bid her time waiting for the Ashen Knight to awaken. Rean had not seen nor heard of Vita at all this time, so even if she had heard that he had been looking for her, why would she care? For all she knew Rean might have been just another obsessive fan.  

Of course, there was always the option of asking Emma to contact Roselia and arrange a meeting for them, but Rean wasn’t sure how he could explain how he knew about her or explain the reason he needed to speak with the elder. Rean wasn’t ready to involve the rest of his classmates and friends in this mess, he just wanted to make sure they were all safe from harm, even if that meant keeping them in the dark about the Great Twilight. However, they could ask Emma as a last resort, but for now, they had a month to track down the elusive witch Vita.  

While discussing which direction they should head in next, Crow had paused for a long moment, looking at Rean with a hesitant look on his face.  

“.... Would you be interested in visiting Jurai with me? I know that you didn’t get to go there on your field study last time, and I would really like to introduce you to my family. All of it.”  

“I think I would like that,” Rean agreed, wanting to meet the people who had taken Crow in as a young teen this time around. He also wanted to pay his respects to Crow’s grandfather and offer an apology for the things his own father had done to him and his country. “Besides, you said that you found Ordine close to Jurai didn’t you? Perhaps we will be able to find a clue around there, so it wouldn’t be completely out of line to visit.”  

“Then let’s go to Jurai on the next train.”  

Crow could feel anticipation begin to rise within himself as they waited on the platform for the next train to Bareahard. They would need to change trains there and take the line to Heimdallr, then change again to the Lamare Main Line to make their way to Raquel. From there they could either catch another train to Jurai or make their own way there. Considering they wanted to investigate the cave system when Crow had found Ordine, they decided they would take the train to Ober Gate, and then make their own way to Jurai after investigating the caves.  

“So, tell me about your family Crow.” Rean had urged him, once they had boarded the first train. “Tell me all about Jurai...”  

“There’s Gareth and Freya and Stark. They’re the ones who took me in and let me stay with them. Stark is like a little brother to me, and I’m sure he’s going to love you too. He gave me my orbal guns, did I tell you? Saved up all his money and bought them for me for my birthday.  

“Gareth is the strong, but silent type, I guess? But he’s also very caring in his own way. He's there for me when I need him but won’t push if he thinks I need time. He drove me to Leeves to take the Thors admission test and waited for me the entire time so that he could drive me back too.”  

“He sounds like an amazing man.” Rean smiled softly at Crow, squeezing his hand lightly.  

“He is. I.... can’t even remember my own old man, but if he was half the man Gareth was, I’d be happy. Lastly, there’s Freya. She’s the opposite of Gareth in the way that she will push me if she thinks I need it and not let me wallow. I can’t even count the number of times she held me when I had nightmares of our time before, when I would cry out for you....”  

Rean tightened his hold, harshly swallowing the lump that had risen in his throat. He’d done this to Crow; him and his selfish actions. He opened his mouth to apologise again, not that a simple apology could even make up for what he had done; when Crow cut him off.  

“Don’t apologise again Rean, it’s.... well, I guess it is your fault. But I understand your reasons, at least, I think I do. I wish it hadn’t happened, but you said I died in your first life, right? We both have our own demons to deal with.”  

“You didn’t force me to kill you though,” whispered Rean, eyes downcast.  

“I know, Rean. You thought you were doing the right thing, and maybe for the sake of destroying the curse, you were. But you didn’t think of those you were leaving behind, didn’t think that maybe we would be just as devastated by your loss, as you were by mine.” Crow breathed out a heavy sigh, trying to shake out the tension that had tightened his shoulders. “But we have been given another chance now, to make things right. This time we both remember; we both know what’s at stake. This time, we will find a better solution.”  

“Ok,” Rean agreed, voice hoarse. “Ok, we’ll do better this time. Together.”  

“Together.” agreed Crow.  

A heavy atmosphere fell between them after that, and they remained silent until they boarded their train in Heimdallr. After that, Crow could no longer tolerate the tension and pulled out a deck of cards to play a few rounds of blade with Rean.  

“Did I ever tell you that you added several new cards and rules to blade?” Crow froze, eyebrows shooting up nearly into his hairline.  

“NO! I did what now? You didn’t tell me at all Rean. How could you keep this from me?” wailed Crow quietly, looking at Rean with a face of tragic betrayal. “Tell me now! What did I add, what did they do? Did it make it better?”  

Rean laughed at him, and explained the new cards that Crow had added and what they did, Crow nodding away in understanding.  

“Wow, I am a genius.” Rean laughed again, a little more of the tension melting out of his frame.  

By the time they finally disembarked in Raquel, they were far too hungry and tired to do much else besides find the nearest inn and crash for the night. They set out the next morning back towards the train station after a terrifyingly large breakfast, Crow not even the slightest bit embarrassed at the looks of disbelief they received after devouring what seemed like half the menu.  

The train along the Ober Branch Line took them all the way out to the Ober Gate, where they disembarked once more and made the rest of their way on foot. Crow winced slightly as his feet protested more walking and he turned to Rean with a look of pleading on his face.  

“You sure we can’t call Ordine and Valimar and get them to fly us to the caves?” Rean didn’t even bother responding, simply rolling his eyes and walking faster. With a quiet whine, Crow sped up to keep pace with him.  

Despite his complaining, it didn’t take them long to make their way down to the caves. Upon entering however, Crow felt himself shift into high alert, not just Ordine and Valimar’s warning, telling him that someone had been there. And fairly recently too. He drew his orbal guns, hearing Rean unsheathe his tachi beside him and cautiously ventured deeper.  

They crossed the threshold to the first area without finding anything amiss, each room they passed through, each enemy that fled at the very sight of a strong and dangerous opponent approaching, simply put them further on edge. It wasn’t until they arrived at the final resting place where Ordine had once waited for Crow, that they finally sensed something, sheathing their weapons with a sigh.  

There were lingering traces of magic in the air, traces that Crow was all too familiar with both from having worked with Vita for many years last time and that Rean had learned to recognise over the course of the civil war after Emma had begun to openly use her magic around them.  

However, the traces were faint now and fading fast, meaning they had missed their chance at catching Vita. Crow cursed, running an agitated hand through his hair, tugging at the tie and leaving it in a complete mess. Rean calmly brushed his hands away from the tangled strands, combing his own fingers through the dishevelled mess and carefully retying it.  

“We knew it would be a long shot,” sighed Rean, tugging at the hand Crow had risen to mess up his hair again. “This is the closest we’ve gotten to her though, so perhaps we’re on the right track now?”  

Crow allowed Rean to manhandle him, entwining their fingers instead and leading him over towards the portal that would transport them back to the entrance.  

“I don’t know if we can say that though," Crow swallowed as the feeling of his stomach dropping fell upon him as they were transported. “For someone normal, I’d say yeah, we were probably getting closer to finding them, but Vita is a powerful witch and an Anguis. She can teleport herself to the other side of Erebonia in the blink of an eye.”  

“Well either way, we should head off,” suggested Rean stepping off the portal. “There’s nothing more for us to search for here. She’s unlikely to return, and neither Valimar nor Ordine sensed the presence of the Ebon Knight nearby.”  

“Alright then, come on. Let’s go introduce you to my family, they’re going to love you.”  

Rean smiled nervously, hoping that Crow was right.  

It had been just like any normal day for Freya.  

She had woken early as usual, rolling over to take note that Gareth was already gone, likely out to accept any incoming deliveries for the store that morning. She gave herself a few scant moments just to lay there, before she rose and prepared herself for the day. She cajoled Stark awake so that he could get ready for school and made her way down to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for them all.  

She’d just flipped the eggs over and checked on the bacon, when the front door opened. Freya had turned with a smile, expecting to see her husband entering after dealing with the new stock, but instead Crow was standing there with an unfamiliar boy.  

“C-Crow!” Freya dropped the spatula, only just managing to place the fry pan back onto the stove before she dropped that too. “Shouldn’t you be at school? What happened?”  

“Hey Freya,” he smiled at her, so innocently then, and she noticed that the shadows that had lingered in his eyes had faded. “Don’t worry, nothing happened. I have special permission to leave the school for extra credit. Also, why did you automatically assume I’d done something wrong?”  

“You must just have an untrustworthy face,” the boy beside him teased quietly, pulling a laugh from Crow’s pouting lips and drawing her attention towards him with.  

She noticed how Crow nudged the boy beside him forwards with his shoulder, his laughter fading away under her scrutiny, a nervous smile tugging at his lips as he stepped up beside the older boy. Freya couldn’t help but notice the way their fingers tangled together, the way that they seemed to be drawing strength and reassurance from one another.  

“Besides, there’s someone I wanted you to meet.” Crow’s smile hadn’t faded, had in fact widened; his eyes sparkling with joy. “Freya, this is a classmate and friend of mine, Rean Schwarzer. Rean, this is Freya Halcyone. Someone who is a mother to me in all but blood.”   

“It, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Rean smiled at her hesitantly, the expression fading into something more anxious as the silence began to stretch uncomfortably long after his greeting.  

Rean.  

She knew that name, had heard it called out night after night by a sobbing Crow, for years. Had had to listen to him crying out for him, begging him, pleading with him; and she had hated him. She had hated this boy who had caused Crow so much heartache and pain, had hurt him so badly, she was unsure if the wounds would ever fully heal.  

But this boy standing before her, fingers gripped tightly within Crow’s hold, who darted looks at the silver haired boy to look for reassurance.... Freya found that he was not the person she had imagined him to be. She had imagined that he would be a cold and heartless person, who would not care for Crow, not if the way he had sobbed was any indication. He would likely be older, leading Crow astray and leaving him adrift on his own when he had abandoned him.  

Freya could see that Rean wasn’t any of that though.   

He was young, perhaps a year or two younger than Crow. And he looked so unsure of himself, so uncertain of his welcome, seeking reassurance and comfort from Crow, who was all too happy to provide it for him. There were shadows that lingered deep in his lilac eyes, the same shadows that had lingered within Crow’s for years. This child had suffered, and greatly.  

Maybe she’d had it wrong this entire time, perhaps they had both been caught up in things beyond their fragile years.  

It was time to let go of the simmering hatred that she had harboured for this child for years; he did not deserve it. Not when the lingering pain hidden within Crow’s eyes was finally gone, and his smiles looked the most genuine than they had in years. And Freya somehow knew that it was because of this boy; because of Rean.  

A bright and welcoming smile spread across her face, and Freya opened her arms to take both boys into them, to hold them tightly and try to shield them from the world that had hurt them, ignoring Rean’s startled intake of breath and Crow’s loud protests that he was far too old to be held like a child still.  

“You are never too old to be embraced by those who care for you Crow. And it is good to meet you too Rean! Any friend of Crow’s is welcome here!” She noticed the way tension seemed to melt out of both of their frames, the relieved smiles they shared over her head. “Come in, come in. Have you eaten breakfast yet? There will be plenty extra.”  

Freya ushered the boys to the table, gently pushing them into the seats, shaking her head fondly at the pounding footsteps racing across the floor above them and then down the stairs, Stark appearing in a flurry of motion as usual, only to freeze in place when he noticed their guests.  

“Crow!” Stark threw himself at the older boy, squeezing the air out of his lungs with the tight hold he had on him.  

“He-hey Stark! Good to see you too buddy, but I need to breathe...” Crow gasped out breathlessly. “Besides, there’s someone I want to introduce to you.”  

“What?” Stark had pulled away from Crow then, turning around and flushing brightly when he had noticed the stranger sitting at the table, a half-eaten plate of food sitting before him. “O-oh, hello.”  

“Stark,” Crow’s tone was full of mirth for the younger boy’s embarrassment, “meet Rean. Rean, this is Stark. He’s practically my younger brother, and twice as annoying.”  

“Hey! If anyone is the annoying one, it’s you!” protested Stark with a pout, before he turned back to stare at Rean.   

“Hello Stark, it’s nice to meet you.” Rean could see the way Stark’s eyes dropped to take in the way Crow’s hand inched across the table to take his, squeezing it in reassurance and he flushed slightly in embarrassment.  

“Are you actually dating this idiot?” He asked bluntly, instead of greeting Rean, causing Crow to choke and Freya to voice a protest. “Because I really think you can do so much better.”  

“Stark!” yelled Crow. “You wound me. The betrayal... the pain... a stab in my poor, fragile heart...” Crow pretended to sob into his hands.  

Rean couldn’t help the laugh that burst from him, his hand rising to cover his mouth as his mirth overtook him. He missed the way Crow’s eyes softened as he watched him, but Freya did not, and it warmed her heart.  

“Idiot brother. As if you could catch someone this pretty without trickery.” Stark stuck his tongue out at Crow, before turning back towards Rean. “But really... what is it about him that you like the most?”  

“Stark!” Crow growled, unhappy that the younger boy was putting Rean on the spot like this. Freya thought about stepping in and scolding Stark too, but she would admit that she too was curious. “You don’t have to answer that Rean, Stark’s just being nosy.”  

“No, that’s fine. He’s your family and he’s curious.” Rean responded with a slight smile. “Hmm, the thing I like the most about Crow...” There was a pause when Rean stopped to think, staring at Crow thoughtfully. “I think the thing I like most about Crow, is his loyalty and commitment. Once he commits to something, he will see it through until the very end.”  

“Oh...” it was clear that Stark didn’t really understand Rean’s response, likely having thought he’d say something about Crow’s looks or his strength, but he accepted the answer regardless.  

Freya, however, could tell there was a lot more meaning behind his words than even she could understand, but it was enough to tell her what sort of man Rean was.  

Breakfast had been a lively affair, lots of chatter and laughter filling the space, Stark’s excited voice rising to be heard over Crow’s relentless teasing, especially when his pleas to stay home from school were denied. Rean and Crow would still be in Jurai when school finished, Freya had stated, plenty of time to spend with them afterwards. Gareth had arrived mid-way through the meal, nodding silently towards Rean after being introduced, and placing a familiar hand upon Crow’s head and ruffling the silver strands. He’d cracked a smile as Crow had ducked under the hand, his own rising towards his head to neaten the mussed locks, protesting the entire time about ruining his looks.  

The warmth that Rean felt sitting there with them all made him feel homesick for Ymir and the Schwarzers. Maybe he would take Crow there once everything was over. He’d introduce him to his family, and then show him the wonders that were the hot springs. Maybe if he was lucky, he could even concince Crow to give snowboarding a go too; he thinks the other boy would be good at it.  

After breakfast, where Freya had insisted that the boys stay at the house during their stay, Crow excused them, mentioning that he wished to show Rean around and introduce him to some people. Rean followed Crow silently through Jurai, breathing in the salty sea air slowly, eyes darting around to take in everything that he could. He’d never had the chance to visit Jurai in either of his other lives; his first taking him far and wide as a pawn of the government, but never in this direction, and his second life ending too soon to have had the chance to do so.  

He met Aaron, the blacksmith who Crow had briefly apprenticed with, listening with a half-smile upon his face as the two bantered and joked around, Aaron demanding Crow show him the state of his weapons, shaking his head at their condition. Crow protested loudly that he hadn’t had the facilities at Thors to keep up with the maintenance that they were accustomed to, but he’d done his best. Somewhat mollified, Aaron had demanded Crow surrender them to his care, promising to have them ready to go by the end of the day. He’d offered to look over Rean’s tachi too, only a single brow raising as he took note of the braiding on Rean’s grip that matched Crow’s sabre exactly.  

They’d headed off then, wandering through the streets towards their destination. Rean knew that he should feel bad for taking this time to relax and wander Jurai instead of actively working towards their goal, but he knew that they needed a rest too, before they burnt themselves out.  

Along the way, Rean had spied several old men sitting on the edge of a busy jetty, fishing rods and half-filled buckets sitting beside them. Crow had laughed as he noticed the direction of Rean’s gaze, telling him that they would come back later to chat.  

“If I let you start fishing now, we’ll be here all day!” Crow teased, remembering watching Rean fish during their time at Thors last time, and the hours that he could while away on this pastime. Still Rean began drifting towards the jetty, Crow having to bodily grasp his shoulders and steer him away.  

They found themselves wandering along a gravel path that wound along a hillside, winding upwards. It wasn’t until they reached the large iron gates barring their entry, that Rean realised where they were, and he darted a look towards Crow.  

Crow pushed the gates open with a wince, the screech of the old iron squealing, grating on his ears. He could feel Rean’s gaze on him, and he turned towards the other boy with a small smile on his face. Of course he would have liked to have been able to go back far enough in time to have saved his grandfather, but the fact that he’d been given another chance to save Rean was more than he deserved. Besides, Crow really wasn’t sure if it would have been possible to save his grandfather. Sure, the annexation and the scorn had really taken its toll on him, but in the end, his advanced age had been the deciding factor.  

Crow had just been too full of rage and youthful stupidity last time to have realised that. Hindsight though, right?  

Silently, Crow led Rean along the paved walkways, past headstones and monuments, some decorated with flowers, others bare and unkempt. He didn’t pay any attention to those though, his focus solely upon a certain place along the fence line, basking in the dappled sunlight piercing through the leaves of the overhanging tree. Reaching the grave, Crow lowered himself to his knees, Rean dropping down to crouch beside him.  

Condor Armbrust  

1115 – 1196  

Beloved Grandfather  

He will be remembered as the  

most loyal and staunch mayor  

of Jurai  

May he continue to watch  

over us from Aidios’s side  

“Hey Gramps, I brought someone here to meet you.” Crow brushed a few dead leaves from the front of the grave. “Sorry, I forgot to bring you flowers. But somebody distracted me by wanting to fish.”  

Rean seemed slightly embarrassed, but he shoved at Crow’s shoulder anyway.  

“I didn’t realise you were bringing me here; I wouldn’t have done that if I’d known.” he protested.  

“It’s fine, Gramps won’t mind. He never was one for flowers anyway, he preferred them to be left in the ground to keep on living and growing.” They sat in silence for a short moment, the sound of bird song and the wind filling the space around them. “Gramps, this is Rean. He’s the best part of me, and he kicked my ass and made me realise how stupid I was acting. I lost him, but I was given a second chance to make things right again. This time Gramps, I promise I won’t be so foolish, and I’ll make you proud.  

“And Rean, this is Gramps. I’m sorry you never had the chance to meet him in person, but then again, he’d probably end up teasing and making fun of me in front of you.” Rean chuckled, nudging Crow’s shoulder with his own.  

“That sounds like it would have been a lot of fun actually.”  

“Yeah, you would think that.” rejoined Crow, before they fell silent for several minutes. Taking in a deep shaky breath, Crow finally rose from the ground, brushing the grass and leaves from his clothing. “Well, I just wanted to say hi Gramps, and to let you know that I’m doing ok. I’ll catch you next time old man; make sure you watch over me.”  

Rean remained knelt upon the ground for several more seconds, mentally apologising to the man buried there, even though he knew that none of the events that had taken place where his fault. He felt responsible however, because had Osborne not tried to save Rean, had he not been injured and needed a miracle, then Ishmelga would not have been able to influence his actions. Vowing to take care of Crow, Rean finally rose, taking Crow’s hand in his own as they walked out of the cemetery.  

That night, Freya was startled awake by familiar cries, throwing herself from her bed to hurry down the hall towards Crow’s bedroom. Hesitating before entering, Freya realised the cries were different; not Crow’s, but Rean’s and her heart clenched.  

She’d been so wrong about this boy, so, so wrong.  

Reaching out, her hand was hovering above the door handle, when she could make out Crow’s voice murmuring lowly to the other boy, reassuring him and comforting him. She could hear how Rean’s cries died down, his hitching breaths growing calmer. Peeking into the room, she could see the way the younger boy curled into Crow’s hold, Crow holding him tightly, lips pressed against the crown of Rean’s dark head of hair.  

He looked up when he heard the door open, meeting Freya’s worried gaze.  

‘ Okay?’ she mouthed to him, watching as Crow nodded carefully, smoothing Rean’s hair back from his face.  

Backing away slowly, Freya gently closed the door behind her and made her way back to her bed.  

“Everything alright?” Gareth mumbled tiredly, one eye staring up at her.  

“Yes, they’ll be fine.” replied Freya, “they have one another now.”  

Chapter Text

They stayed in Jurai for another couple of days before they realised that they were starting to run out of time. They’d already been travelling for over half of the month they were allowed as leave, and they were still no closer to finding Vita or answers to their numerous problems.  

“I know this should have been obvious, but perhaps we should backtrack a little and look around Ordis. I know that Ordine left the Cayenne proving grounds, but perhaps there might be some clues left behind there?” Rean suggested, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. They’d stayed up late the night before, trying to brainstorm ideas, however they had been unsuccessful, and the stress was beginning to get to them both.  

“It’s as good an idea as any, I suppose.” Crow agreed, before pausing. “Oh... Did I ever mention to you that I’d run into Vita there a few years ago? This was before I awoke Ordine, and I guess she was trying to entice me into becoming an Awakener for her again.”  

“No, you didn’t mention that,” Rean responded with a frown. “I assume she would have realised by now that Ordine was no longer there, but it still can’t hurt to look. Perhaps she’s keeping an eye on the proving grounds to see if someone shows up to take responsibility.”  

“I don’t have the key to the waterway anymore, but I’m sure we can work something out if we need to.” Crow mused thoughtfully, fingers tapping his thigh idly.  

“You mean we can pick the lock?” Rean asked slightly amused, before sighing. “Just... as long as you don’t use explosives to bust the lock at least.”  

“Yeah! I knew these skills would come in handy again!” Crow paused, brain screeching to a halt, brows furrowing as the rest of Rean’s sentence registered within his mind. “What do you mean explosives? Who would do that?”  

“Fie.” Really, just her name was all the explanation that Crow needed, but Rean filled him in nonetheless. “Bareahard, big door in the underground waterway. Boom.”  

“Ah...” Crow wished he’d been there to see it; it sounded like it had been entertaining at the very least.  

“So... Ordis then?”  

“Yep, Ordis.”  

After that, they bid Crow’s family goodbye the following day, Rean thanking them for their hospitality, and Crow promising to visit them again as soon as he could. He even went so far as to mention that Class VII might have a field study that would bring him back to Jurai soon, winking and telling them that it was insider information and hadn’t been organised yet, so don’t go spreading the word.  

As they walked out of the house, the Halcyone family standing in the doorway, waving them off, Crow could feel reluctance pull at his bones. He turned and waved back at them, wondering if he could walk right back into the house again with Rean, and never leave. But he knew that their problems wouldn’t go away just because they hid. Just as he knew that Rean would never agree to do so. Oh, he’d encourage Crow to stay if that was what he wished, but Crow’s place was by Rean’s side; he wouldn’t allow him to face Osborne and the Great Twilight on his own again.  

Knowing Rean, he’d probably end up doing something stupid like sacrificing himself and dying again, and Crow wouldn’t allow him to do that. Not while he still had breath in his body.  

Warm fingers twined with his, and Crow looked over at Rean, an understanding smile on his face. He squeezed back, turning around and following Rean to the train station.  

“You could stay, you know.” It wasn’t a question, more a statement.  

“No... Not this time. Soon though maybe.” responded Crow quietly. “But we have to save the world first, don’t we?”  

“Yeah, I guess we do. But we’ll be back, you’ll see them again soon.” Rean reminded him softly, allowing Crow to linger just a little longer.  

Staying would be nice, but Crow had to do whatever he could to make sure that not only Rean, but his family and friends would be safe too, even if it hurt to leave them now.  

They caught the first train to Raquel that passed through Jurai, changing lines there to head towards Ordis. It was late into the day by the time they arrived, the sun already beginning to sink low beneath the horizon, the reflection off the water as blinding as it was beautiful.  

Crow really wished that he could have brought Rean here for another reason; could have shown him the lantern festival and Bryonia Island and all the fishing spots he had discovered with Stark when they’d come. He wanted to share an aquamarine ice cream with Rean and walk along the dock under the starlight.  

Instead, they were just here to break into the waterway and probably fight whatever monsters had taken up residence down there.  

How romantic.  

“We should find somewhere to stay,” Crow suggested, hitching his bag higher on his shoulder. “If we want to avoid drawing attention, we can take a look at the door tonight. Assuming we can dodge the patrols that is.”  

“I should be able to sense anything that might cause us problems,” assured Rean thoughtfully. “I assume you know where we can stay?”  

“Yeeeeah, about that....” Crow laughed sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his head. “Vita always transported us back and forth, so we never had to stay overnight, and the Halcyones rented an apartment for the week we were here.”  

“Ah, well then I suppose we will need to ask around then.”  

After asking a few helpful residents, they finally found themselves settling into a room at the Sea Breeze Inn, Crow rummaging through his belongings and pulling out a lock picking set he had picked up in Jurai, tucking it into his pocket with a grin at Rean. Rolling his eyes, Rean simply suggested they eat before heading off, since they had no idea how long they might be down there. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to exit if morning had broken by the time they were finished, as there would be far too many people around to see them emerging if that was the case.  

They waited until dark before they made their way down to the harbour district, strolling around casually until they arrived at the door to the waterway, Crow wryly thinking this wasn’t quite what he had in mind when he’d imagined a moonlit walk with Rean. Arriving at the door unhindered, Crow withdrew the lockpicks from his pocket, getting to work on picking the lock while Rean kept watch.  

“How much longer?” questioned Rean idly, ducking out of view as he heard voices approaching, not worried when he realised it was nothing more than just a few sailors a little too deep in their cups.  

“It’ll take as long as it takes, jeez.” grumbled Crow quietly. “Besides, the lock is stiff, rusted and as old as gehenna. If you have complaints about how long I'm taking, you do it yourself.”  

“I mean, if you want me to, I suppose I can give it a try.” responded Rean with a shrug, eyeing the sky to try to judge how much time had passed. “But I wasn’t complaining, just asking.”  

“Wait...wait what?” Crow looked up from his task to stare at Rean in disbelief. “You? You know how to pick locks?”  

“Yes? Is that really so shocking?” Rean tilted his head, brow furrowing in confusion.  

“Yes! Yes, it is. Though.... I guess in hindsight, no it isn’t?” Crow’s brow furrowed in thought, as he remembered quite a few stunts that Rean had pulled the last time around. Now that he thought about it, Rean wasn’t nearly as straightlaced as he appeared to be. He grinned at Rean, proud. “You little rebel, you.”  

“Crow... I lived through an entire civil war with Fie as a comrade. Of course I learned a few things here and there.”  

“Huh, that makes sense.”  

“Well, well, well boys. It looks as though you’re having the time of your lives.”  

Crow froze, hands still raised to pick the stiff lock, Rean’s lilac eyes widening when they met his own; Rean hadn’t even sensed anyone approaching. His shoulders slumped in relief when he looked up, a familiar figure standing before them, observing them both. Well, they had been looking for the witch, they just hadn’t expected her to appear before them without any warning. Stupid of them really, Vita did whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. It was almost impossible to predict what she’d do next.  

Rean cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Crow to land on the witch standing before them, fan raised to cover the lower half of her face.  

“The Azure Abyss, what a surprise.” Rean purposely used a title that he definitely should not know, hoping to garner Vita’s interest.  

A single pale brow rose in astonishment.  

“It would seem as though it is more of a surprise than I had envisioned. You seem to know some very interesting things about me boy, however I am sure we have never before met. And you,” her piercing violet eyes landed on Crow, “I remember you. We met here several years ago. I offered you the chance to become part of something far greater than you could imagine, and you did not hesitate in turning me down.”  

She stared down at them with calm eyes, but even then, the expression didn’t mask her frustration.  

“Yet now here I find you again, breaking into the very place where I would have brought you had you accepted my offer. Have you changed your mind perhaps?”  

Crow snorted, rolling his eyes. He was well used to Vita’s theatrics after dealing with her for years last time, and he was unimpressed.  

“Not in a million years.” The lock clicked open finally, and he withdrew his picks and rose stiffly from the ground, brushing himself off and tucking the picks away. “Besides, even if I had, you have nothing left to offer me.”  

Vita’s eyes sharpened at his statement, realising Crow knew more than she had believed he did.  

“It was you! What did you do?” she barked out, congenial demeanour falling away, fan snapping closed.  

“Me? Nothing?” insisted Crow innocently, just riling her up further. Rean sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, reminding himself that he loved this man.  

“Crow, enough. We need her help.” Crow pouted at him, but Rean remained unmoved.  

“But I just spent five minutes picking this lock!” he whined.  

“We’ve already found what we were looking for, there’s no point exploring further.”  

“But the lock, Rean!”  

“Yes, yes. You did a great job Crow, now lock the door again so no one else wanders in there and gets hurt.” If Rean had thought that he could get away with patting Crow on the head, without him biting at him, he would have.  

“Well now, this does sound interesting. I feel like there is a lot of information that can be shared, but perhaps we should move this meeting to a more private setting.” Vita tapped her fan against her lip, shrewd eyes scanning them both. A teleportation circle appeared beneath their feet, transporting them to an empty hotel room without warning. Vita seemed wary when they did not appear surprised by her use of magic.  

“Now tell me, how do you know my name, and why were you looking for me? And what do you know of the power that was hidden in the waterway?”  

“Vita Clotilde, my name is Rean Schwarzer, and I am the Awakener for the Ashen Knight.” Vita’s eyes widened in surprise, darting towards Crow who stared back silently, until Rean nudged him pointedly.  

“Yeah, yeah. I’m Crow and I awakened Ordine.” he paused, before adding “the Azure Knight.”  

Vita’s fan hit the table, her spine straightening into a rigid line.  

“How did you manage to awaken the Azure Knight? He disappeared from the waterway, several years ago.”  

Crow shrugged indolently.  

“I guess he got sick of being cooped up for so long, he decided to go for a stroll down to Jurai.” Vita scowled, obviously not liking his attitude. Rean decided to intervene before she decided they were not worth her time, no matter how interesting they may be, and they lost this chance at gaining her help. Honestly, with the amount of friction and antagonism currently between them, Rean wondered how they had managed to work together last time. There was a very small part of him, one that Rean tried not to think about, that was tainted by jealousy when remembering how close the pair had been that first life and probably the second also, that enjoyed watching Crow provoke Vita like this.  

“What if I were to tell you a fantastical tale, one that is almost impossible to believe? Would you listen?” he questioned her before she could berate Crow, noticing the way her brows rose in surprise. “What if I told you that the nightmare fairytale that had been set in motion, could have a different ending. Would you offer your help?”  

“I will not commit to anything, but enlighten me as to your tale, and then I shall decide.”  

Rean shared a look with Crow, before taking a deep breath and beginning.  

“This isn’t the first life we have lived...”  

It had been difficult to convince Vita that they weren’t fools, imagining shadows in the dark; however, she could not deny that Rean held knowledge of things he should not know of, and events soon to happen in the future. When Rean spoke of the Infernal Castle that the Noble Alliance planned to summon, the Azure tree that would appear in Crossbell and the Phantasmal Blaze Plan, Vita had gone white in shock.  

No one should know of these plans.  

In reality, Rean shouldn’t have even known that she and Emma were witches of the Hexen Clan, and that their elder was Roselia. He shouldn’t know about Eryn or the Great Twilight.  

Vita wasn’t sure if she should trust them, but for now she chose to believe in their words. This though, disregarding all of the things she had learned and thought she knew about the world they lived in, this, she feared might be beyond her ken.  

She needed to speak with her grandmother.  

Roselia couldn’t say if she was more shocked about the return of the estranged daughter of the Hexan Clan, Vita, or the fact that she had brought two Divine Knights and their awakeners with her.   

She had been gobbling up several of her favourite snacks in her atelier (yes Emma, they are completely necessary for her diet, stop scolding please) when she had felt the familiar magic of a transportation spell bringing visitors to Eryn. Curiosity had had her rising from her seat and peering out towards the central monument, nearly falling over in shock at the sight that met her eyes, causing her to drop her cake, much to her dismay. Hurrying forwards, Rose stormed out of her house, small fists planted on her hips as she met the intruders.  

“Hello Grandmother.”  

“Don’t you ‘hello grandmother’ me!” Roselia stomped her foot angrily. “What are you doing here? And who are these extras you’ve brought along? Why didn’t you tell me you were going to visit? Not even a message to let me know how you were doing!”  

Rean had had a small taste of Roselia’s personality the last time around, but Crow, having only met her while lost in his grief, looked gobsmacked. There really was nothing that could adequately prepare you for Roselia Millstein.  

However, even those shocks had held little weight compared to the tales that they told her, of the Ebon Knight and the Great Twilight.   

Of sacrifices and second chances.  

She had of course, had much to say to Rean about his foolish decision to confront Osborne so early, going on a rant that lasted well into the morning. Crow missed most of the lecture after he checked out at around the one-hour mark.  

“- cannot believe how foolish you acted, surrendering what could have been a truly useful insight into the Ebon Knight’s location! Of course he is no longer where he was last time! Giliath Osborne, Dreichels, is no fool. Now he has certainly hidden him where we cannot scry, and your chance to strike him early has been squandered!”  

Rean stood there silently, accepting Roselia’s ire stoically, unflinching as she poked and prodded at his chest to emphasise her point.  

“I know I shouldn’t have spoken to him, and I know it was foolish to do so before we had made our move against the Ebon Knight. However...” here, he paused, face twisting into something sorrowful. “He’s my father, though I cannot remember him as such. Is it so wrong of me to have wanted to seek an audience with him?”  

“Yes!” Roselia screeched, before Vita hushed her gently.  

“What is done is done, and now we must deal with the consequences. There is no point in yelling about what ifs any longer.”  

Roselia subsided with a childish pout; arms crossed over her chest grumpily as she shook out her long blonde hair.  

“I suppose you are correct, but do not think that I will soon forget this folly of yours. From now on, you will not make a move without our permission.”  

Rean opened his mouth, perhaps to agree to Roselia’s demands, but Crow finally checked back in to the conversation and overrode whatever he was planning on saying.  

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” he shot an unimpressed look at the miniscule witch, not at all intimidated by the ferocious glare she aimed at him. Crow wondered if she would try to kick him in the shins, and although it looked like she dearly wished she could, Roselia resisted the urge.  

“I agree with Crow, that there are far too many issues at hand for us to constantly check in with you as to our course of action, especially events that we already know the outcome of, but I agree that we will confer with you in regard to anything related to the Great Twilight and Osborne.”  

“No more tête-à-têtes with him, revealling your plans and knowledge!” Roselia instantly demanded, and Rean agreed solemnly. She huffed out a short breath, allowing her arms to fall at her sides. “But I concede that you may be best equipped to deal with the other issues; just keep us informed.”  

“Now then, I suppose you two need to continue with your own tasks, and I shall do my best to track down the Ebon Knight. If Dreichels has aligned himself with the Black Workshop as you suspect, then finding its location may be beyond my abilities. We witches have not been able to track down the Gnomes in the last 800 years. Also, if what you’ve told me about your heart belonging to Osborne is true, then it is likely he has been turned into an Immortal. Haaaa, what a mess you’ve made of things...”  

After having to explain to Rean and Crow what an Immortal was, and hammering out as many details as possible, Vita disappeared without trace, barely pausing to bid them goodbye before she teleported out of Eryn leaving Rean and Crow stranded there. They stared at one another awkwardly, before Roselia showed them the teleportation stone that would take them to the Isthmia Great Forest, where they could exit to make their way towards Saint-Arkh. She had offered to take them somewhere closer, but they had refused the offer, wanting the time it would take to walk, to discuss these new developments.  

“An Immortal huh? It sounds like something completely unbelievable, but then again, I guess Divine Knights, witches and magic do too when you think about it.” Crow grumbled as they walked. “I guess the only reason I believe it at all, is because I’ve seen it with my own eyes, otherwise there is no way I’d fall for any of that.”  

Rean cracked a smile, agreeing with the other boy.  

“True. Don’t forget to add in mysterious voices offering idiots like us seconding chances to fix our mistakes.” Crow snorted, nudging Rean’s side.  

“My mistakes, you mean. When I think of all the stupid things I did back then......”  

“Who said the stupid things were limited to our last life?” Rean teased, unwilling to allow himself to wallow in the guilt that threatened to rise within him.  

“Wow.” responded Crow flatly; though Rean could see the humour sparkling in his eyes. “Wow, Rean. So rude.”  

“I learnt from the best.”  

“Mean.”  

“I love you too.”  

Rean leaned against Crow as they rode the train back to Trista, his eyes scanning the scenery as it flew past the window, a wave of homesickness hitting him hard.  

“Do you think, once all of this is over, that you might like to visit Ymir with me?” questioned Rean out of the blue. “I would like to introduce you to my parents.”  

Crow froze, his expression falling as Rean’s words registered within his mind, his hands beginning to tremble slightly.  

“Rean, I don’t... I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t know how I could ever face them, not after what I did.” His eyes fell away from Rean’s, unable to look him in the eye, not when these memories were being stirred with his mind.  

“Crow... what happened in the civil war, that hasn’t happened yet. You aren’t the same person as you were then, and you never helped the Noble Alliance attack Ymir.”  

“No that’s not... attack on Ymir?” Crow questioned, confusion filling him. The Noble Alliance hadn’t attacked Ymir, not that he could remember.  

“Oh, I uh... it doesn’t matter.” Rean tried to backtrack, realising he’d made a mistake. This Crow hadn’t lived through the civil war; he’d been sent back before that had really gotten started. “What, uh, what were you referring to?”  

“You can’t just say something like that, and then pretend like you didn’t, Rean! What in gehenna? Tell me what happened. Please.” Crow forced Rean to look at him, a look of desperate pleading on his face. “I need to know what I did back then.”  

“It wasn’t, I mean you, he , didn’t do much himself. He challenged me to a fight in Ordine, that I lost, and then we ended up on the Pantagruel.” he smiled thinly at Crow, eyes filled with shadows. “It wasn’t all bad though, I guess. He made me fish burgers and told me about his, your, past.”  

“And Ymir? What happened there?” Crow insisted when Rean fell silent. He was thankful that there was no one else in the train car with them, not keen on anyone overhearing them speak or seeing him break down.  

“Rufus, Zephyr, Vita and Duke Cayenne happened.” Rean’s eyes fell closed in remembrance. “Dad was still recovering from when he had been shot by jaegers. They had attacked previously on Duke Albarea’s orders, and taking Princess Alfin and Elise hostage then too.”  

“Rean, I... how do you not hate me? How can you stand to look at me after everything I’d done to you?”  

“Because I love you. Because losing you hurt more than anything you ever did to me, and not having you by my side is unimaginable.” cupping his hands against Crow’s cheeks, Rean pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss. “And it wasn’t you . None of that was you. And even if it was, it wouldn’t matter, because you still come back to us in the end.”  

“Stark’s right, I don’t deserve you, Rean.” Crow sighed into the kiss, closing his eyes and soaking in Rean’s warmth.  

“It’s a good thing that I don’t care about that then,” Rean rubbed their noses together. “Now, now that I’ve brought up all those bad memories, tell me why you were worried about facing my parents.”  

Pulling away from Rean’s warmth, Crow sighed. There was no way out of it now.  

“I killed you Rean, I just, I can’t imagine staring them in the face, greeting them with a smile, all the while remembering the feel of my sabre piercing your chest. Of the warmth of your blood coating my hands. How can I pretend like I deserve to stand by your side? I.... I never told them, you know? I was too much of a coward to face them, so I don’t know if they even knew you had died. I told myself I’d do it soon, but then I was offered this second chance and I accepted it.”  

“Crow, Aidios, I’m so stupid. I’m... Goddess, saying sorry will never be enough.” Warm arms pulled Crow back towards Rean, his head falling to nestle against his shoulder. “There is nothing in this world that I can ever do to make up for what I did to you, but I will try my best to earn your forgiveness one day.”  

“You don’t need to-”  

“Yes, Crow, I do need to.” he interrupted Crow’s protests. “After all, you’re angry about it, aren’t you? Underneath everything, the happiness at having this second chance, beneath all the hurt and pain that remembering causes you; you’re angry that I used you like that. And I deserve your anger. Don’t try to pretend I don’t.”  

And Crow sat there, digging beneath the layers and layers of hurt and pain that had scarred his heart, down the the core of himself, where he had buried that kernel of anger. Oh, he realised. Yes, he was angry. He remembered now, when he’d first woken up here after he’d been given this second chance, that tiny flicker of anger that he had quickly buried and tried to forget.  

But he didn’t want to waste his time and energy on being angry. Crow didn’t want to waste this second chance he had been given by exacting revenge. Rean certainly hadn’t last time.  

Had Crow been so petty that Rean thought that he’d want to do that?  

“Yes, I’m angry; at least a little bit about what happened.” he admitted. “But I don’t want to waste this second chance I’ve been given because of that. I just want to be with you Rean, no matter what.”  

“I-”  

“Don’t say anything else. Please, Rean. It’s over, this is a new life now, a new start. No more of this.” Crow insisted, placing his fingers over Rean’s lips as he opened his mouth to protest. “You made mistakes last time, and I made just as many too, and that’s not including the ones from the time before too. And you never once held those against me. I just want to be with you, that’s all I want.”  

“Ok, I... okay. You’re right, I don’t want to keep bringing this up, or thinking about it all the time.” Rean drew in a long, shuddering breath, letting it out in a whoosh that ruffled both of their fringes. “So...Ymir?”  

“Maybe, when this is all over and we have time.”  

“Do... do you ever wonder about the lives we left behind?” Rean questioned after several moments of silence.  

“What do you mean?” Crow turned towards Rean; eyebrow raised at the question.  

“I mean... the worlds that we came from, did they just...just end once we left? Or did they continue on, and we simply disappeared from them? Are there people there waiting for us? Looking for us? Or do they no longer exist?”  

“I don’t know Rean, to be honest, I’ve never really thought about it.” admitted Crow thoughtfully. “All I knew was that I was here, and so were you, and that is all that mattered to me.”  

“But now? What do you think happened to those timelines, those worlds?” Rean persisted.  

Hesitating briefly, Crow ran his fingers through his hair slowly.  

“I think... that the voice, the higher power that offered us this second chance can’t be all that bad right? They gave us our second chances to make things right after all. So... so I think that they wouldn’t leave our friends and loved ones hanging like that. Maybe we were erased from their memories, or perhaps another version of us now exists there instead.”  

“I really hope so, I want to believe that they’re happy, that I didn’t hurt them more by making the selfish decision to try to save you.” They fell silent after that, simply leaning against one another, soaking in the comfort of their presence.  

Their moment of peace was broken all too soon, when Crow’s ARCUS began to ring, a frown pulling at his lips as he registered the caller. Looking over his shoulder, Rean felt himself tense slightly, before breathing out a deep sigh of resignation.  

“You should answer them, before they get suspicious.”  

With a heavy sigh, Crow answered the ARCUS.  

“Yeah?” he answered lazily, falling silent as he listened to the person on the other end of the call. “Got it. Wasn’t too successful finding anyone willing to join, everyone’s too blinded by Osborne and his bull to go against him.”  

Rean was almost taken aback at the tone of Crow’s voice, not having heard him speak so scathingly about the Chancellor before. Not since they’d fought atop the building in Heimdallr last time.  

“Yeah, I’ll be at the next meeting. On the train back to Trista now, so I’ll catch up with you all then.”  

He hung up the call, heaving a tired sigh. Honestly, Crow wasn’t sure being part of the ILF was of any help at the moment. They were following the same script he had been, and events were progressing the same. So instead of being a useful tool to help them keep ahead of trouble, it was causing Crow more work and issues as he tried to keep up his presence in meetings, all while working with Rean to sabotage their plans. But if this ILF was anything like when he had been running it, well... leaving wasn’t really an option.  

He’d work on it though. Even if he had to fake his own death.  

Crow would just have to remember to warn Rean before he did anything stupid like that to avoid unnecessary extra trauma for the younger boy.  

“Ah, Trista, sweet Trista!” cheered Crow, stretching out his stiff limbs.  

Rean laughed quietly, jabbing Crow in the ribs as he passed, ducking under his flailing arms.  

“I didn’t realise you were so keen to get back to studying Crow,” he cooed teasingly. “You’ve certainly turned over a new leaf. Let’s hurry back and ask Instructor Sara what we missed so you can make up all the work.”  

Rean turned and jogged off, leaving a flabbergasted Crow in his wake.  

“No, wait! That’s not what I meant! Reeeeean, don’t do this to meeeee!”  

Crow chased Rean down, catching up to him just as he entered the door, all but crashing into his back as the other boy abruptly halted, his back stiffening in alarm. Looking up, Crow felt a sense of dread overcome him.  

“H-hello Instructor. We didn’t expect you to welcome us back....”  

“Nonsense, how could I do anything less for my two favourite boys?”  

Crow felt a shiver of foreboding track down his spine, and coward that he was, he tried to hide his larger frame behind Rean to get her attention off of himself.  

“So boys, how was Ymir?” Instructor Sara questioned them with a smile, too full of teeth to be genuine. Rean felt his heart drop into his stomach, he’d known as soon as they’d walked through that door and seen Instructor Sara standing there that they had been exposed. But how?  

“Uh...” he darted a quick look towards Crow, who gathered his courage and grinned back, just as insincerely as Sara.  

“Oh, it was great! Lots of snow and mountains and all that jazz. You should have been there; you would have loved it.”  

“Mmm, is that so?” Sara drawled slowly, eyes shrewd and piercing. “It’s funny that you said I should have been there, when it appears as though you weren’t there either. You see, when I called Baron Schwarzer to check in with him how you both were doing, he seemed confused. Said that neither of you were there, nor he had no idea that you had planned on visiting during the summer period.”  

She let a heavy silence fall between them, Rean shifting nervously in place, while Crow seemed unaffected. Rean wondered if he was really as unaffected as he was acting, or if his time in the ILF helped him to act as though he was. It wasn’t until Rean noticed how tense Crow’s jaw was, that he realised he wasn’t as calm as he was pretending to be.  

“We...”  

“I don’t want to hear it.” Sara cut Crow off, with a wave of her hand. “I don’t know where you boys went, but I trust that whatever you did, it was important enough to leave Thors for a month and lie about your whereabouts.  

“I won’t question you now, nor will I reveal this to Principal Vandyck; but I do expect an explanation at some point, and your promise that you won’t do something like this again.”  

“Yes Instructor.” they echoed one another, relieved.  

“Go on then, get out of my sight. I expect you both in class bright and early tomorrow.”  

“Even if you’ll be late yourself?” Crow felt confident enough to tease, now that they had been let off the proverbial hook.  

Sara glared at him, her eyes narrowing dangerously.  

“Why Crow, what was that I hear? You want a place helping Rean and Towa run student council tasks on your free day? How thoughtful of you!”  

“What? No!” protested Crow frantically, shooting a look of betrayal at Rean as he didn’t bother hiding his laughter.  

“I’ll let Towa know.” Sara’s smile was pure malice, teeth gleaming predatorially.  

“Give it up Crow, you’ll just dig yourself deeper,” advised Rean when he noticed Crow opening his mouth to argue again. “Besides, it’s not like you don’t follow me when I’m doing the tasks anyway, may as well make it official. Thank you, Instructor, we’ll head back now. Come along Crow.”  

“That’s not the point!” protested Crow as Rean dragged him back towards the dorm.  

Damn, it felt good to be home again.  

Chapter Text

The man before him fell under the hail of bullets aimed his way, Crow feeling his stomach clench uncomfortably as he watched the life begin to fade from his eyes. His fingers trembled around the gun in his hand, making the weapon shake slightly. A sharp pat on his shoulder drew his attention away from the sight before him, and he turned dark eyes towards his comrade. 

“You did good Rookie. First kills are always hard. Worse when it’s someone you thought you could trust.” 

The other members of the ILF had taken to calling him ‘Rookie’ after he had declined to give them his name, and although he was no longer their newest recruit and he was far from being a wet behind the ears newcomer, the name had still stuck. 

This wasn’t his first kill, far from it in fact – the things he had done in his last life haunting his nightmares sometimes – but it was in this life. In his last life Crow had killed more people than he could count, had ordered the deaths of even more. Blood everywhere, bodies filling the halls of the Fortress, Crow’s cold crimson eyes looking on in satisfaction as he passed them, knowing they would get what was coming to them soon. But he’d been trying to be better now, to make things better, and yet still, he here was again; gun in hand, rapidly cooling body of the former informant laying before him. 

At least this time it had been self-defence. 

“Yeah, I... yeah. I guess it is.” 

“Come on, we’re done here. Let me take you out for a drink to calm your nerves.” 

Despite opinions to the contrary, the members of the ILF weren’t horrible people. They were simply a group of people who had been pushed too far and had been led by a teen too deep in his own plans for revenge that he hadn’t really considered the cost of achieving it. He’d led them to do some truly terrible things as his time as their leader, but the people themselves hadn’t been bad. They took care of their own. 

“Yeah, that sounds great. Thanks.” Crow accepted the hand ruffling his dark strands of hair, a wan smile tilting his lips. He’d need to make sure not to get back too late, but another hour or so wouldn’t hurt. 

His partner took him to a familiar downtown bar, other members already sprawled over the booths and bar stools scattered around the dingy room, music playing from the old jukebox in the corner. He followed the other man towards the front bar, murmuring a quick thanks as a glass of something strong was slid in front of him. 

They didn’t care that he wasn’t legally old enough to drink alcohol. He’d killed a man tonight, and if he was old enough to do that, he was old enough to have something to drown out the guilt. 

Crow winced slightly at the burn as he swallowed, savouring the taste as he took another sip. 

“Bad night?” A woman whose name he currently couldn’t remember for the life of him, appeared at his side, nudging him gently with her shoulder. Crow grunted in agreement, swallowing another mouthful. 

“First kill.” His partner explained, the woman’s face twisting into an expression of sympathy. “Self-defence when the informant turned on us.” 

“Next drink is on me. First kills suck, but honestly...” she sighed tiredly, her eyes reflecting her weariness, “it never does get any easier.” 

She was right; it never did get easier. 

Crow stumbled his way through his window in the early morning hours, grunting as he knocked his shoulder against the frame, cursing as he lost his balance and tumbled his way into the room. 

“Aidios dammit, that hurts like gehenna.” he grumbled, allowing himself to flop onto the ground miserably. He shouldn’t have had that third drink, or the fourth, fifth or sixth. But they had helped to dull his guilt, so he hadn’t refused when others kept pushing drinks in front of him. 

“Crow?” Crow jerked up from the ground in alarm, hearing his name being called from the darkened room, relaxing when he recognised the voice as Rean’s. Of course he’d be in here waiting for him to return; he always was. “Is that you?” 

“Yeah, it’s me.” 

“Are you alright? You sound weird.” Rean stumbled his way off Crow’s bed, made clumsy by his abrupt awakening, legs getting tangled in the sheets. “Oomph.” 

Crow grunted as Rean landed beside him on the ground, groaning as he was rolled over onto his back. 

“Oh Aidios Crow, you reek of alcohol!” 

“Yup.” popping the p obnoxiously, Crow grinned insincerely up at Rean, hovering over him anxiously. “Killed a traitor tonight. Pew pew, bullets right through the head. He went plop and all the red spilled out. Red, red, red.” 

“Goddess, are you alright?” Rean’s hands started patting him down frantically, running down his arms and over his chest, before cupping his face and staring into Crow’s glassy eyes. 

“Nope.” Crow swallowed, bile churning in his stomach. He lurched to his feet, knocked into Rean and sending him stumbling as he staggered from the room, towards the bathroom, falling to his knees as he heaved. 

Rean joined him quickly, kneeling behind him and holding back his hair, rubbing his back gently. And amazing as that all was, the best part was that he asked no questions. 

“Holding back my hair, it must be love.” Crow joked weakly, allowing himself to fall to the ground finally, leaning weakly against Rean. 

“You couldn’t tell before?” Rean teased back carefully, offering Crow a glass of water for him to rinse his mouth. “The going back in time to keep you from dying wasn’t enough? And you’re telling me, all I had to do was hold back your hair as you got sick.” He shook his head in mock resignation. 

Crow laughed hoarsely. 

“Just because you’re a chronic over-achiever...” he snickered softly. “Urgh, I feel horrible. Come on and help me rinse out this stupid dye before the field study tomorrow.” 

Crow sat on the stool in the bathroom, hunched over as his stomach still churned uneasily, Rean gently running his fingers through his dark strands, the natural silver slowly being revealed as he worked the dye from his hair. 

“Will you be alright for the field study tomorrow? Or should you sit out on this one?” 

“I promised Stark I’d be back soon, and you’re going to need help in Garrelia taking out those canons.” Rean opened his mouth to protest, but Crow cut him off. “I know you dealt with it all on your own last time, but I don’t want you to have to. I’m here to help you this time. Besides, I nearly caught you and we don’t know if they have an ace up their sleeve, like a soldat to ambush you if something happens to the railway guns. 

“Besides, I want to help you. I want to help make up for all the horrible things I did last time.” 

“Okay, alright, I won’t protest anymore.” conceded Rean, finally towelling Crow’s silver strands dry gently. “And... it will be nice to have you by my side this time. I don’t... I don’t want it to be like last time again.” 

Crow threw on some sleeping clothes haphazardly, ignoring Rean’s squawk of surprise when he dropped the towel around his hips, and crawled into bed tiredly. He flopped his hand onto the covers several times in invitation, and after rolling his eyes in exasperation, Rean lifted the covers and slid in beside him. 

Crow laid quietly for a time, counting each minute in his head silently, timing each with every breath that he took. 

“Even now... even now when I’m trying to correct my mistakes, I’m still forced to do such things. Nothing I do makes a difference in the end.” he whispered, unsure if Rean was even awake still. Stupid really, of course he would be if he could tell Crow had something weighing heavily upon his mind. 

Gentle fingers began carding through his slightly damp locks, Crow leaning into the soothing touch. 

“You are making a difference, even now. Because it wasn’t your choice was it, what happened tonight, was it?”  

Goddess, how could Rean understand, even without Crow revealing what he’d done to him? Because he couldn’t possibly tell Rean that he had killed a man, he couldn’t bear to see the disappointment and disgust that would surely be clear upon his face. 

“I know that last time you did bad things; including some truly horrible things, Crow. And I know you thought that you were justified in your actions and that the ends warranted the means.” Rean shuffled down until they made eye contact, serious lilac staring deeply into ashamed crimson. “But I also know that had you not been pushed towards that path, those choices you made, they likely would not have been the same. 

“So that is why I can tell you now, that no matter what you have had to do, you are still a good man Crow. You are still right here, by my side, helping me to fix the mistakes others far more powerful and experienced, have made.” 

Rean paused, fingers stilling in his hair, Crow nudging him to encourage him to continue. 

“Sometimes, sometimes good people do bad things, but with good intentions.” 

“Like Batman?” 

Rean snorted out a laugh, turning to muffle himself against Crow’s pillow. He looked into Crow’s too earnest eyes, the guilt that shadowed them, very slightly diminished, and agreed. 

“Yes, I guess like Batman.” 

Crow laughed along with Rean, kissing him soundly to muffle their merriment; it didn’t take long before Rean fell asleep like that, their limbs tangled together, holding each other as close as possible. However, sleep did not come easily to Crow, but the feeling of Rean’s steady breaths and his familiar warmth finally allowed slumber to take him, though his rest was far from peaceful. Memories of blood filled his dreams, the target from earlier that night changing until it was Rean who he had shot, laying in a pool of his own blood, bleeding out rapidly, trembling lips forming the word ‘why?’ repeatedly. 

The next morning was horrible. There really was no other word for it, if you asked Crow. 

It started off with every single person banging around and shouting down the halls as they prepared to leave, then the most stomach-churning scent flooded his room and sent Crow racing towards the bathroom where he crouched miserably until Rean took pity on him and brought a cool glass of water and something for his pounding headache. When he finally managed to stumble his way back to his room, the sun had the audacity to be shining brightly, sending pain stabbing through his brain. 

Crow really isn’t all that sure how he managed to get himself dressed and packed ready to go, but he has a feeling that Rean did most of the work for him. He had a vague recollection of gentle hands and a soft voice guiding him, smoothing his hair back from his face and into its usual braid. 

He managed to stumble his way down the stairs and out the door, face buried in the back of Rean’s neck, trusting the younger boy to safely guide him. He grunted when anyone tried to talk to him, and one peek at his bloodshot eyes and the dark shadows beneath them, encouraged them to leave him be for the moment. It was only when Rean began to rise that Crow unearthed himself, peering around blearily. 

“Wha?” 

“I need to head off now, it’s time for me to catch the train with my group.” he explained, pressing a quick kiss against Crow’s head. “Will you be alright?” 

“Mmm, course I will.” mumbled Crow, screwing his eyes closed. “Not a baby.” 

“That’s right, you’re batman.” Crow groaned in embarrassment, unable to believe he’d said something so stupid the night before. 

“Pretend that never happened.” 

“Not on your life, it’s perfect blackmail material.” Rean laughed softly, before his face turned serious again. “.... stay safe, ok?” 

It wasn’t as though Crow hadn’t known this field study was coming up, nor was it as though he didn’t realise that, although he was now part of Class VII, he was still going to end up separated from Rean. But sitting there, watching as Rean rose to board a train going in the complete opposite direction, and not a chance of escaping to follow after him, really hit Crow all at once. 

Rean noticed his unease, of course he did, and he did his best to reassure Crow. 

“It’ll be fine, we both know what to expect, and it’s only a few days anyway... right?” Rean’s voice trembled slightly, and that was all the hint Crow needed to realise Rean didn’t want to be separated from him either. 

“Right. And we can contact one another on our ARCUS’s too. I’m just one call away....” he tried to smile, really, he did, though Crow wasn’t sure how convincing it was. Likely about as convincing as Rean’s. 

“Right. I’ll see you in a few days, say hi to Stark, Freya and Gareth for me too alright?” With one final squeeze of his hand, Rean turned and walked towards his own group, already boarding the train headed towards Bareahard. 

“Yeah... bye Rean.” Crow stood listlessly behind his own group, shuffling aboard when the train finally arrived. 

After his disastrous start to the morning, Crow spent the majority of the trip dozing off, catching up on much needed sleep that he had missed the night before, waking only briefly for change overs and to eat. 

By the time they were nearing Jurai, Crow had begun to start feeling a whole lot more human again. He gratefully took the sandwich that Elliot had saved him and sipped on a coffee Machias had begrudgingly procured.  

“No tea?” he teased, even knowing that he shouldn’t provoke the other boy. “No seriously though, thanks for this. I really needed it.” 

Machias hmphed at him, crossing his arms grumpily. 

“Well, as long as you appreciate it, I suppose it’s fine.” Crow squirmed slightly under his scrutinising gaze. “What happened to you last night anyway?” 

“Oh, you know. This and that.” Crow replied airily, unwilling to reveal the truth to the other boy. 

Machias opened his mouth, clearly unhappy with his answer, but Elliot cut in before he could. 

“Aren’t you from Jurai Crow? Are you excited to be heading back?” 

Crow smiled softly, nodding his head in affirmation. He remembered last time, how conflicted he’d been to return, how heartbroken, yet happy Freya had been when she had found him in the cemetery. Crow remembered talking to Rean in Trista’s park, the other offering advice and fish burgers that his other self had once made for Rean. 

But there was no conflict in his heart this time, no Freya to fret and cry over his appearance again. He’d done better this time, was doing better. 

“Yeah, yeah I am. My gramps died a while back now, but I have family there still.” 

“Ooooo, Crow’s family!” Fie teased. “I want to meet them and get all the embarrassing childhood stories.” 

“Oi! There are no embarrassing stories to tell.” he protested, not liking the gleam in Fie’s eyes. “But, I guess I can introduce you if you really want.” 

The resounding yes, made Crow laugh. 

“Ok, ok, I’ll take you guys.” 

Upon arrival, they headed to their lodgings, Crow leading the way once he was told the location, giving the group a short tour along the way. They picked up their tasks for their stay, scanning them before getting to work. It was late afternoon before they finally had a free moment, four sets of expectant eyes turning to stare at Crow. 

“Why are you all staring at me?” he asked innocently, laughing as they all yelled at him. 

“CROW!” 

“I get it, I get it. Come on, follow me.” 

They obediently followed Crow like little ducklings, winding through the streets, until they reached the storefront. Crow grinned as he led them round the back to the back door that led into the house, not bothering to knock. 

“Hey honey, I’m hooome!” Crow called out jokingly as he entered the house, the others crowding in behind him. “And I brought some strays with me!” 

“Hey!”  

“We’re not strays!”  

“If anything, you’re the stray.” Protested his classmates, causing Crow to laugh. 

“Crooooow, you’re back!” 

Crow grunted as Stark slammed into him, his arms wrapping around the younger boy as he buried his head against his chest, squeezing him tight. 

“Yeah squirt, I told ya I’d be back soon, didn’t I? Don’t act like it’s been years since you saw me last.” he teased, ruffling his hair annoyingly. 

“Jerk,” Stark mumbled into Crow’s chest, before he peeked past him and stared at the strangers milling behind them uncomfortably. “Who’re they?” 

“These, my dear little brother, are my classmates. Machias, Fie, Elliot and Alisa.” he pointed to each of them as he introduced them, chuckling as they awkwardly waved to the younger boy. 

“Where’s Rean?” Stark asked, before Crow could hush him. 

“He’s in the other group; they went to Legram.” he responded resignedly. Hopefully, if he was lucky, the others would simply assume Stark knew Rean from before their time at Thors, not because of a sneaky visit where they had disappeared from the academy for a month. 

“Oh, Legram! Such a beautiful place. I remember taking you there for our first family holiday,” Freya reminisced, exiting the kitchen, wiping her hands on a tea towel. “You were so unsure of yourself back then, not even realising you were part of this family.” 

Crow groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

“Must you tease me?” 

“It is my duty as your mother to embarrass you in front of your friends, dear.” She winked at him teasingly, approaching and embracing Crow tightly. “I think I heard you mention Rean was there?” 

Crow nodded in affirmation. 

“A shame, it was good to meet him. And he certainly does his best to keep you out of trouble. I do so like that about the boy.” 

His classmates, those traitors, laughed at her teasing. 

“I came home for this? How could you treat me this way?” he wailed, pretending to sob against Elliot’s shoulder. 

“Hush now, Crow, you’re embarrassing yourself. Now, introduce me to your classmates.” 

They ended up staying for dinner, the others insisting they help with preparation, and Freya even more insistent that they relax while they could. Unfortunately for Crow, that apparently didn’t apply to him, and he found himself in the kitchen and put to work while Stark entertained their guests. 

Crow shot a look towards his ARCUS as he sat peeling potatoes, frowning slightly as he caught himself. He’d been pulling the device out all day, fingers hovering over the call button, hesitant and unsure. He wanted to speak with Rean, wanted to hear his voice and reassure himself that the other boy was fine and that nothing bad had happened, but Crow also didn’t want to distract him either. 

Freya walked past just then, huffing as she noticed the pile of unpeeled potatoes still remaining beside Crow, his attention on the silent device beside him. 

“Just call him, I doubt Rean will mind. Besides, it may be the only way these potatoes get done tonight.” 

Abashed, Crow picked up his peeler and began working again, tearing his eyes away from his ARCUS. 

“No... I, no. He’s probably busy anyway....” 

Crow had barely finished making up an excuse, when his ARCUS flashed brightly, Rean’s name appearing upon the screen. Freya chuckled fondly at the speed Crow grabbed up the device, nearly dropping it in his haste. 

“Rean? Is everything alright?” 

“Crow? Yeah, everything is fine. I just... I just wanted to hear your voice.” Rean sounded sheepish as he admitted that, complaining when Crow began to laugh. 

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about calling you today for that very reason.” He confessed, tension melting from his body as he heard Rean laugh in return. “What a pair we make huh?” 

“A pair of idiots maybe.” Rean joked. “I don’t know why I waited so long to call, I just kept telling myself I was being stupid for not being able to go even a single day without hearing your voice. 

“Now, did you remember to say hello to everyone for me? Or did you forget as soon as you promised?” 

“Freya! Stark! Rean says hiiiiiii!” yelled Crow. Rean groaned on the other end of the ARCUS, complaining about his eardrums. “Greetings given; mission accomplished.” 

“Aaaaand, my eardrums have burst. Thanks for that.” 

“You know you still love me.” 

“Unfortunately.” 

“See, your eardrums are just fine.” 

Leaving Jurai this time was easier. 

It wasn’t as though his heart still didn’t ache as he walked out of the door to the Halcyone’s house for the last time during their stay, but after last time, Crow felt some of his worry fade away. He knew Jurai and his family would still be here when he returned. 

The days had flown by so quickly, but Crow had made sure to visit his Gramps again before he left. When he arrived, he was unsurprised to see the old flowers had been cleaned away, a fresh bouquet left in its place, the weeds removed from around the base of the grave. Crow smiled slightly as he brushed a few loose leaves from the stone, mentally reminding himself to thank the Halcyones for taking care of the old man company while he was gone. 

What had surprised him though, had been the group’s tentative request to join him. He’d mentioned his intention to visit the grave, planning to go on his own after the day’s activities had been completed, but they had stopped him before he could exit their room, asking if they could come along and be introduced to the older man like Rean had been. 

Crow wouldn’t admit it, but there may have been a slight sheen in his eyes as he’d stood there introducing his classmates, and maybe even friends, to his Gramps. 

He knew the older man would be proud of him. 

They were all sitting on the train, chatting as they raced their way towards Celdic, where they would change trains before heading towards Garrelia Fortress. He pulled his ARCUS out, ignoring the muffled snorts of amusement from the others, opening it up and re-reading a message he had received from Rean earlier in the week. 

‘ Duke Cayenne is as insufferable as ever; I honestly have no idea how you managed to work with him for so long without going insane.'  Crow stifled a laugh behind his hand, unsure himself how he’d survived last time too. ‘ Oh yes, and I challenged the Radiant Blademaster again.’  

Only Rean would see that as an addendum so casually. Crow couldn’t remember Rean telling him about doing so before, but the way he’d mentioned it, he had a feeling that this wasn’t the first time he’d attempted such a thing. A little part of him was perhaps slightly jealous, wondering how it would feel to be able to go up against one of the strongest swordsman in Erebonia. He wondered how he would fare, and if it was possible for Rean and Crow together to be able to defeat such a man. 

Unlikely, but between them, they had five lifetimes of experience. 

Yeah, no. They’d probably still get their asses handed to them. 

Disembarking in Celdic, Crow could feel the tension melt from his shoulders when he saw Rean walking along the platform towards him, the others looking away with half concealed smirks as they reunited. From the pink tint to Rean’s cheeks, Crow could tell that the other boy had noticed the looks too. Instructor Sara whistling had also been a huge, obvious give away too, just in case they’d missed the other signs. Luckily someone else had hushed her before she could draw even more attention towards the group, ushering her onto their train ahead of them. 

Trailing behind the rest of the group, Crow tangled their fingers together, leaning sideways and resting his weight against Rean’s shoulder slightly. 

“So... Garrelia huh? You ready for this?” he questioned the other boy lowly. 

“As long as you’re by my side and not planning to cuss me out as you chase me across the sky again; I am.” 

“I don’t know, it could be fun,” teased Crow, dodging the elbow jabbed at his ribs. “Kidding, kidding! Don’t attack me, I’m delicate.” 

“Delicate my ass.” Rean snorted in amusement, just as Crow had hoped he would, settling against his side quietly again as they boarded the train and took a seat with the others. 

The trip had passed quickly, each group chatting about their field study and the tasks they’d been given to do. Crow shared a pointed look with Rean when they’d mentioned the lance wielder who had saved them, the thought that perhaps she was an Immortal like Osborne crossing both of their minds. It was really the only thing that made sense, unless there was a lance wielding look alike who just so happened to be strong enough to destroy that orb in one strike. 

Regardless of however many times you had seen it, Garrelia Fortress was still a sight to behold. Rean and Crow watched the awe upon the faces of the others, only Elliot seeming as unaffected as they were. 

“Wow.... it’s just...wow. I don’t have any words for this.” Machias stuttered, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. 

“You won’t have any words when you experience the food either,” Crow muttered under his breath to Rean, making him choke on a laugh. 

Sneaking out that night was easier than ever, with no one expecting them to be doing anything they shouldn’t be, and anyone they came across simply assuming they were getting some alone time. As embarrassing as the assumption was, it came in handy as it allowed them to get outside without causing suspicion. 

Calling out to their Knights, they decided to take one railway gun each to save on time. Crow opened his comms, relaxing slightly as Rean appeared on his screen, face calm and reassuring. 

“We’ve got this, we’ll make sure that these railway guns never fire a shot.” declared Crow firmly. 

“I just hope the ILF call off the attack when you let them know what happened to the guns.” Rean’s eyes dropped on the screen, a look of pain flashing across his face as he remembered the massacre that had taken place during his first life. 

“Yeah, I hope so too.” 

Crow and Ordine took the railway gun on the left, flying up and prying open the doors by sliding his double sabre between them. Alarms blared loudly as he entered the space, Ordine crouching down so that they could peer into the barrel to see what shells they had loaded. 

Rean startled as a transmission came through, Crow’s furious face appearing before him. 

“Crow?” It took the other man a moment to form words, mouth opening and closing. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? I’ve just got the doors here open.” 

“Live rounds.” he grit out between clenched teeth. 

“Pardon?” questioned Rean, confused. 

“They’re using live rounds, Rean !” he yelled, fingers gripping Ordine’s controls tightly, his knuckles turning white. “The Goddess damned asshole ordered them to use L ive. Fucking. Rounds! He’s going to blow Crossbell off the map. Towa’s there! Prince Olivert and all those civilians!” 

“We’ll deal with this Crow; we won’t let the anyone hurt them.” Rean reassured Crow firmly, lips pressed tightly together. Rean remembered from his first life and from the last, that Crow had made sure that only blanks had been fired, ensuring that no one would be hurt when they had failed to stop them from firing. He really couldn’t say if they had been planning to use live rounds for the second shot, and he really wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to know the answer to that question. 

“Right. Let’s obliterate these guns!” Crow snarled, the picture of his face disappearing between one moment and the next. 

It wasn’t long before Rean could hear the metallic screech of Ordine’s sabre tearing through the first railway gun, the crash of the destroyed metal pieces falling to the ground, loud in the otherwise silent night. Unwilling to be discovered and stopped before he could tear through his own target, Rean withdrew Valimar’s tachi and began cleaving through both the door before him and the gun hidden behind it. Once completed, both Knights rose into the air amidst the gunfire of the soldiers racing towards them, shouts for their surrender following them as they fled before engaging their cloaking and disappearing from sight. 

They landed upon the landing platform they had visited earlier that afternoon, thanking their Knights before dismissing them and moving towards the door, hunkering down to pretend to hide from the threat in preparation for when they were discovered. It took nearly an hour before the alarms finally ceased, and soldiers began to check the surrounding areas, Rean and Crow quickly being discovered and escorted back towards their quarters. 

“Where the hell were you both?” Machias yelled, hair in disarray, pyjamas rumpled. “We couldn’t find you anywhere once the alarms started.” 

“We got trapped out on one of the landing platforms; the doors locking before we could make it there when the alarms started.” explained Rean quietly. 

“Why were you out there at this time of night?!” 

Crow simply stared at the other boy blankly, a single brow rising sardonically. 

“It’s been four days since I’ve had the chance to see Rean; what do you think we were doing out there?” 

Machias flushed to the tips of his ears, sputtering that he hadn’t need to know that. 

“You asked.” responded Crow with a careless shrug, curling an arm around Rean’s waist and yawning widely. “Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m bushed. Guess we’ll head to bed, see you guys in the morning.” 

Turning and walking away before anyone else could try to question them, Crow allowed his shoulders to slump, his heart still pounding harshly in his chest. 

“I hope news of this gets back to the ILF before tomorrow and they call off the attack.” He used the heel of his palms to rub tiredly at his eyes, trusting Rean to guide him through the twisting halls of the Fortress. “I’d do it myself, but then that would call into question how knew, and it wouldn’t be difficult to work out who I am from the information that will give them.” 

Before Rean had the chance to respond, Crow’s ARCUS buzzed angrily several times. The older boy pulled out the device almost reluctantly, eyes quickly scanning over the messages left for him. 

“They know,” he breathed out lowly, relief and worry warring within his chest. “They must have a mole in the Fortress to have found out so quickly, and I don’t know who it is. We’ll have to be even more careful now.” 

Reaching out and grasping Crow’s hand, Rean squeezed it reassuringly. 

“We’ll be careful, we always are.” 

“Unless you’re springing unexpected chats with Osborne on me.” snarked Crow, with a grin. 

Rean simply rolled his eyes, tugging Crow after him as they entered the boy’s sleeping quarters. Quickly removing their outer wear and shoes, they climbed into Rean’s bunk, laying on their sides and facing one another. 

“I wish that Michael, that G, didn’t go to Crossbell,” whispered Crow. “Last time... it, it never really hit me just how wrong everything all was, that someone would be willing to give their life to our cause. After all, I was ready and willing to do the same last time too.” 

Rean grabbed Crow’s hand squeezing his fingers tightly. 

“And the worst part of this all is, is that I can’t even blame him because a small part of me still feels the same way. I want Osborne to pay for what he’s done to everyone; I want them to be able to have their justice. I know the curse is likely to blame for a lot of his actions, but I still can’t forgive him for what he did to my gramps.” 

“What he’s doing is wrong Crow, the reasons and excuses that he’s giving himself don’t matter. No one has the right to destroy others all in the name of the ‘greater good’.” 

Crow squeezed his eyes closed tightly, pressing their foreheads together, lips trembling. 

“I want to kill him, Rean. For everything he’s done to all these people, for what he let happen to Gramps.” he drew in a trembling breath, letting it out shakily. “But I’ve already walked that path, and I know how it ends. And now I have to sit back and watch as people I thought of as friends and comrades, throw their lives away in a desperate bid for vengeance, all while knowing that it is pointless. That even if they put a bullet through his chest, he still won’t die.” 

“I... I’m so sorry Crow. If I could do something...” he touched a hand to his chest, where Osborne’s heart beat steadily within his own chest, remorse twisting his features. 

“Don’t, Rean.” pleaded Crow. “Don’t say that or think that. I can’t lose you again, so don’t even think about doing something stupid.” 

“I won’t, I promise. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t thinking when I said that.” apologised Rean, quickly trying to reassure the other boy. 

Crow wasn’t sure that he believed Rean, but he remained silent, just holding him tightly instead. 

Chapter Text

“I think you should do it.”  

“No, no. It should be you; I insist.”  

“No, you do it.”  

“No. Y ou .”  

“ No . It was your idea in the first place, so you should do it.”  

“Nice try. You told me that the original idea was from the other Crow, not me; and as you like to tell me all the time, I’m not him.”  

“Still... You’re older, you should still be the one to do it.”  

“And you’re the leader of Class VII, so it should definitely be you.”  

“Yeah, no. I’ve already died once, are you trying to put me through that trauma again?”  

“You want to give me the same nightmares too? Rean, I’m appalled at your callousness.” Crow joked, elbowing Rean in the ribs. Rean grunted at the impact, retaliating with a hard poke into Crow’s solar plexus. “Besides, didn’t you say that I’ve died too?”  

“Didn’t you just say he wasn’t you?” Rean retaliated, trying and failing to poke Crow into submission.  

“What in Aidios are you two arguing about?” An impatient voice interrupted the beginnings of their tousle.  

“Deciding who gets to tell Machias and Jusis that they’ll have to sing a duet together for the class performance.” responded Crow flippantly, Rean taking advantage of his distraction to send another poke into Crow’s unprotected side. Still focusing on attempting to pin Rean’s hands to his sides, Crow suddenly stilled when the temperature in the room took on an ominous chill. His head turned slowly, dread settling heavily in his stomach.  

“Rean...”  

Rean, seeming to sense the change in atmosphere, stopped his attack, peering around Crow’s broad frame, gulping nervously as he tried to disappear behind the other boy again instead of meeting that icy blue glare aimed towards them.  

“ Coward.” Crow hissed over his shoulder as he was forcefully spun to face the threat; slowly shuffling them backwards, further from the storm he could see brewing behind Jusis’s eyes.  

“ Would you care to repeat that?” enquired Jusis, advancing on the pair menacingly slowly. “I could almost swear that you said Regnitz and I would be singing…. Together.”  

“ Uh... not really, no.” mumbled Rean, clutching at the back of Crow’s shirt.  

“Wow, would you look at the time?” Crow laughed nervously, eyes darting down to an invisible watch on his wrist. “Rean and I really need to be off. Plans to make, evil factions to topple and more days to survive.”  

With that, Crow grasped Rean’s wrist and pulled the younger boy from the room, ignoring Jusis’s threats of bodily harm that followed them down the hall. He didn’t stop running until they were relatively safe in the exposed area of the town square; far too many witnesses for Jusis to consider murdering either of them, though he could not guarantee their safety upon their return to the dorms.   

Perhaps he should send Rean through the door first, just in case.   

No... wait, he didn’t want Rean to die, did he?  

Crow sighed at his dilemma. Perhaps Jusis would have forgotten all about it by the time they returned; but it was probably better to sneak in as late as possible, just to be on the safe side. Also to have his sabre and pistols close at hand.  

Unfortunately for Rean and Crow, even though they stayed out of the dorms until the sun set, the shops closed, and the stars came out, it wasn’t long enough to avoid their irate classmate.  

Crow found himself nearly tripping over Rean as the other boy crept through the door to the dorms, freezing suddenly at the sound of a gun cocking.  

Machias and Jusis stood side by side in the foyer waiting for them, Machias' shotgun aimed at the doorway they were currently frozen within. Crow wanted to swallow an hysterical laugh at the sight of the two sworn enemies uniting against a common enemy.  

If only Rean and himself wasn’t that enemy. And him, but Rean was standing in front of him, so he’d probably be able to dodge out of the way before any bullets went flying.  

“H-hey Machias.... Jusis. What’s up?” stammered Rean, trying to slowly edge his way out of the line of fire. Crow’s firm grip on his shoulder kept him firmly in place though, and he shot a glare of betrayal over his shoulder.  

“Oh, nothing much.” Jusis responded, idly tapping his sword against his leg. “Just waiting up for our two favourite classmates, so that we can have a little.... discussion regarding the school festival together.”  

“O-oh.” Crow grinned plastically, eyes frantically darting around to look for an escape. He’d already died once according to Rean, and he wasn’t willing to rely on some random higher power to offer them another chance at life again. “Great, that’s great.” he faked a wide yawn, inching Rean towards the stairs. “But we’re exhausted, why don’t we chat in the morning?”  

“Oh no, I really think we should talk now.” insisted Machias, shadowing their steps, Jusis keeping pace with his every move. “You see, Jusis and I have some...“ he paused, as though trying to think of the right word, before settling on “ concerns, about being paired together for a duet.”  

“Indeed. You have met us both, correct?” interjected Jusis caustically, a scowl marring his face. “We get along worse than cats and dogs, you can’t possibly think that it would be prudent to pair us together if you wished to beat out Class I.”  

“Actually, you seem to be working together just fine from where I’m standing.” mused Crow, stupidly, in Rean’s opinion.  

Machias and Jusis scowled harder, taking a threatening step closer towards the pair.  

“You dare-!”  

A heavy hand landed on each of the angry boys’ shoulders, freezing them in place.  

“Now then, what do we have here?” Instructor Sara’s saccharine voice and toothy smile filled the group with dread.  

Death would have been kinder, Crow decided, head hanging in defeat as he followed in Instructor Sara’s wake.  

Rean ducked his head down as Instructor Neithardt continued his lecture, feeling the burning glares of Jusis and Machias aimed at the sides of his head, keeping his eyes focused forward, lest he make the mistake of making eye contact with either boy again. He envied Crow, who had his seat in the very back of the class, where it would be too conspicuous for them to turn and aim their glares at.  

He and Crow had barely escaped with their lives last night, and it was only Sara’s timely intervention that prevented Machias and Jusis from taking their frustrations out on them in the foyer of the dorm. Needless to say, neither was happy that she had endorsed their duet, and was blaming both Crow and Rean for their woes. Funnily enough though, they had bonded over their mutual dissatisfaction and annoyance at Rean and Crow, bringing the pair closer together.  

Luckily, or unluckily depending on your point of view, the field study to Roer was fast approaching, and the others were busy preparing for the practical test that always happened before.  

Rean wasn’t looking forward to being trapped in close proximity to Machias for the entire time, the green haired boy far more volatile than Jusis, whose anger had already cooled into an icy indifference. Surely, he wouldn’t try anything that would reflect badly on Thors... right?  

And not only that, but he was having to deal with Crow’s impending sulk too. It’s not that he didn’t understand the other boy’s issue, but he still thought he was being incredibly stupid to feel jealous over a late-night meeting with Claire that was nothing besides information gathering.  

“But you already know everything that she’s going to tell you! There’s no point in sneaking out to meet her again.”  

Rean laughed softly under his breath, leaning forwards and pressing his forehead against Crow’s, threading his fingers through silken silver strands.  

“You’re so silly, feeling jealous over me meeting up with Claire. You didn’t care last time.”  

“The hell I didn’t...” grumbled Crow petulantly. “You were just too caught up in your own head that you didn’t notice.”  

“Oh...” And really, that might have been true. Rean had been so caught up in his thoughts about what would happen in the mines, that nearly everything else had faded from memory, deeming them not as important at the time. “If it makes you feel better, you can come with me this time.”  

Crow sniffed haughtily, pulling away from Rean’s hold. “I wouldn’t want to crash your date .”  

“For Aidios’ sake, it’s not a date!”  

Crow had refused to speak more on the topic after that, sinking into his epic sulk that Rean couldn’t pull him from no matter how hard he tried. Eventually he gave up, knowing that Crow would come to him when he was ready.  

The next few days flew past in the blink of an eye, and the next thing they knew, all of Class VII was hurrying towards the Academy Field for their big surprise. Both Rean and Crow stood back slightly, watching the looks of amazement and awe that spread across the faces of their classmates, smiles tugging at their lips as their jaws dropped.  

Rean still had fond memories of all the time he had spent upon the airship during the Civil War, and Crow had seen it during his last life; though he was not nearly as familiar with the aircraft as Rean obviously was.  

The pair found themselves on the deck once more, the wind blowing in their hair as they made their circuit around Heimdallr, watching the streets fly past beneath them, the people gazing up in amazement, looking no larger than ants on the sidewalk.  

“Do you remember last time we were here?” he questioned the dark-haired boy, standing behind him, arms wrapped around his waist. Rean hummed in agreement, leaning back into Crow’s warmth, glad that the other boy finally seemed to have let his jealousy go.  

“I was terrified you know? I was sure you were going to let yourself fall over the edge....” he whispered hoarsely. “And if you’d fallen, Rean, I would have... I fear that I might not have thrown everything away, all the plans I’d spent years making, all just to save you. I knew I felt something for you at the time, but I don’t know if I recognised it in myself by that point. But then, sometimes I wonder, what if I had thrown everything away? What would have happened then?”  

Rean turned in Crow’s hold, slipping his arms around the other boys’ waist and holding him tightly.  

“It’s fine, Crow. It doesn’t matter; nothing happened.” Rean realised he’d said the wrong thing, as Crow’s body went stiff in his arms.  

“I guess it doesn’t matter to you at all, does it? ‘Nothing happened’ after all.” questioned Crow bitterly. “Everything went according to your plans, didn’t they? And screw everyone else and their feelings, right?”  

“No! That’s not what I-“ Crow pulled sharply away from Rean’s hold, hands running through his already tousled hair in agitation.  

“Forget it, it’s fine.” Snapped Crow, brushing off Rean’s reaching hands, not allowing Rean to get another word in. “I’ve had enough fresh air for now,I think I’m going to go back inside.”  

Rean watched in bewilderment as Crow stalked away from him, wondering just where he’d gone wrong, sighing tiredly as he ran his fingers through his own wind tossed hair. He guessed the sulking wasn’t over after all; not that he could blame Crow.  

He was just so tired and unsure if he had the mental capacity to calmly deal with this, not when Crow’s emotions seemed to be running so close to the surface recently. But he also knew that he would regret it if he didn’t chase after Crow and fix this, because Aidios only knows how tightly the other boy could bottle everything up when he wanted to. And not just that, but Crow did have a point.  

As much as Rean regretted how things had happened last time, as much as he wished he hadn’t had to put the other boy through everything that he had; Crow was right. Rean hadn’t hesitated in the slightest at making the other boy live through what he himself had been unable to endure, would in fact, do it all over again if it came to it, even if he knew it would destroy Crow. Because for Rean, there was nothing worse than the thought of Crow and the rest of his loved ones dying, when he could do something about it.  

He just couldn’t bear the thought of losing Crow again, of having to live through the rest of his life without the other boy, even as he would force Crow to do the very same thing; would in fact force him to be the one to take his life and live with those consequences.  

Aidios, he was such a stupidly, selfish bastard, wasn’t he?  

“You’re such a Goddess damned idiot,” he scolded himself, turning on his heel and striding rapidly after Crow.  

Rean found Crow in the games room, holding a pool cue, lining up the shot to break, the white ball slamming into the triangle perfectly, sending the balls scattering over the table, several rolling into the pockets. He knew exactly the moment that Crow noticed his presence, the other’s shoulders tensing minutely, before he deliberately lowered them again; but not once did he stop and look up at him, even as Rean halted beside the table before him blocking his next shot. Crow simply moved around him the other way, lining up a different shot.  

“Crow...” Rean finally broke the silence after a tense few minutes of watching Crow sink ball after ball into the pockets, each hit becoming increasingly more aggressive.  

“Don’t, Rean. I don’t think I want to hear anything you have to say to me right now.” bit out Crow angrily, slamming his cue forwards, the white ball jumping off the table and going flying. Elliot yelped as the ball narrowly missed him, turning to see what had happened. He quickly turned back around as he took note of Crow’s glower, and Rean’s furrowed brow; the tension surrounding the pair surprising and alarming him in equal measure.  

“I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it anyway.” insisted Rean, reaching out and grasping Crow’s sleeve when the other boy turned to walk away from him, cue slammed down against the green felt of the table. “Just, please come with me so we can talk privately?”  

Crow stared hard into Rean’s pleading face, until he finally sighed tiredly, nodding and allowing Rean to lead him from the room, avoiding Rean’s searching gaze. They made their way into the reference room, relieved that no one else was in there. This was not a conversation that Rean felt they could have in front of others.  

“Crow, I know that I’m an asshole and the most selfish person on Zemuria. I know that I keep losing hope that we can make a difference, no matter how many plans we’re trying to put into place and the changes we’ve already managed to make. And I know, that in the back of my mind I still keep considering that sacrificing myself may be the only option we have, that dying is the only way for me to fix everything, to atone...”  

“Are you so stupidly self-sacrificing that you would throw your life away again just because you think that there is no other way? Do you think you are so all important to the world, that your death will, what? Even the cosmic balance, and everything will be sunshine and rainbows without you? Are you really going to give up, just like that? Are you really going to leave me alone again Rean?” Crow accused Rean angrily, gripping his chin tightly between his thumb and forefinger, not allowing Rean to look away from his scorching gaze. Rean flinched back minutely, not expecting Crow’s blistering anger.  

He should have.   

Rean should have realised.  

“I-I’m not giving up Crow, Aidios dammit, and I don’t want to die again either! I know that it isn’t the best plan, but I refuse to lose you again; I can’t go through that again Crow, it broke me the first time, but it would destroy me the second.”  

“And you think that it wouldn’t destroy me?” Crow’s voice had gone eerily blank, his hand dropping away from Rean’s face and falling to his side. His eyes though, they burned with emotion. “You think that it didn’t break me when you used me to destroy Osborne’s heart that was in your goddess damned chest , killing you in the process? That watching the illusion fall and seeing what I had done to you; holding you as you lay bleeding, dying , in my arms.... you think that that was any easier for me to go through, than when I died in your first life? Do you really think that watching you die again, wouldn’t absolutely destroy me too?!”  

Rean remained silent, his heart pounding in his chest as he listened to Crow speak, desperately wishing that he could reach out to him, but not knowing if the gesture would be rebuffed or not.  

“I... I’m sorry Crow, I know it did, but I didn’t, I don’t...” voice trailing off, Rean watched as Crow finally succumbed to his tears; his heart breaking as he finally reached out, grasping the other boy and pulling him in close. Crow buried his head in the crook of Rean’s neck as he drew in shuddering breaths as Rean carded his fingers gently through Crow’s silver locks of hair soothingly, slipping the red tie out and combing out the braided strands. Goddess, he felt like such a fool. He’d known just how affected Crow had been because of his death, had witnessed the many nightmares he had endured and the depression that had plagued him in the lead up to the anniversary of his death; they had even spoken briefly about his reasons for doing so. Rean had apologised and Crow had accepted it; but it was only now that the reality of just how much he had hurt the other boy hit him.  

“I’m so sorry...” whispered Rean.  

He knew it was the wromg thing to say immediately.  

Crow scoffed disbelievingly.  

He broke out of Rean’s hold, turning away and pacing agitatedly around the room, his hands opening and closing into fists.  

“You’re sorry are you, Rean?” He asked mockingly, ignoring Rean’s instinctive flinch at his tone. “You say you’re sorry for doing that to me last time, but you still have the guts to suggest that I let you die again!”  

“Crow! I-” choked out Rean, stumbling forwards and slamming into Crow, sending the other boy rocking back on his heels, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist. “I’m sorry, so sorry, Aidios forgive me Crow. Please, I... I promise it won’t come to that; we’ll find another way. I’m so sorry I did that to you; please forgive me...”  

Rean didn’t know just when they had ended up kneeling on the floor, both boys gulping back tears. Although Rean had seen the reality of his actions, had helped Crow to deal with the aftermath, he hadn’t realised it at all. Too guilt ridden and foolish to realise.  

He'd been too stupid to realise before, had allowed Crow to smile and distract him from the trauma he’d inflicted upon him. But he couldn’t pretend he didn’t know now, not with Crow shoving the unadulterated truth in his face.  

Really, there was no way in gehenna that any sort of apology was ever going to make up for what he had done. How could Rean even think of considering making Crow go through the same thing again, even if he wouldn’t be forcing the other boy to end his life this time? How could Rean possibly not realise that losing him wouldn’t affect Crow just as much as it had himself? Hadn’t he heard his cries? Wiped away his tears and tried to comfort him when the memories became too much for Crow?  

“How can you save everyone else Rean, when you won’t even save yourself?” Crow whispered, his words slamming into Rean like an Achtzehn tank. His Master had said the exact same thing to him, hadn’t he? And Rean had all but forgotten those words in his quest to throw away his life to solve this seemingly insoluble problem.  

‘ You promised me that you would not leave me behind again Rean!’ Valimar cried out within his mind, making Rean feel even more terrible at the thought of breaking his promise to his Knight. ‘ Do not speak of sacrificing yourself again, neither Crow nor I will allow it!’  

Perhaps it was time to really take his master's words to heart and pull his head out of the sand and stop pretending like sacrificing himself hadn't been his unspoken backup plan all along. He couldn’t become the light in the darkness if he was gone after all, now could he?  

But it would seem as though Crow had had enough of Rean’s silence, muffling a frustrated scream in his hands before raking them harshly though his hair.  

“Whatever,” he growled lowly, turning on his heel and storming towards the door, sidestepping Rean’s outstretched hand. “It’s not like any of this matters anyway; you’ll do whatever you want anyway.” Crow paused at the door, tilting his head slightly, without turning to face Rean. “You might not be the most important person to the universe, Rean; but to me, you are.”  

Rean watched helplessly as Crow disappeared through the door, leaving him standing there on his own, thoughts roiling within his mind.  

Aidios, he’d really fucked things up this time, hadn’t he?  

This time, ha, he’d been fucking things up since the moment he’d returned the first time.  

Before he’d had a chance to pull himself together again, Rean heard the nearly silent swish of the door opening, his eyes flying towards the sound, Crow’s name on his lips before he even registered who had walked in.  

“Cro-” the cry of the other boy’s name cut off abruptly as Rean finally registered who had entered, his shoulders slumping slightly in dismay as he turned quickly, trying to wipe away the dampness on his cheeks.  

“Well, that wasn’t the welcome I was expecting,” the other boy drawled, stepping further into the room and allowing the door to slide closed behind him. He stepped forward slowly until he stopped in front of Rean, observing the dark-haired boy before him; brow raising in mild surprise. “I had assumed you and Crow were permanently attached at the hip, considering the evidence presented so far, ever since you introduced him to all of us. So, imagine my surprise to not only hear raised voices from you both, but to witness him storm away looking distraught.”  

Rean’s head dropped further, shoulders hunching as he curled into himself in a vain attempt to shield himself for the words being spoken.  

He didn’t know what to say to the other boy, because a lot of the reasons they had been fighting were unbelievable. Who would believe them if they said that they had both been given second chances to fix past mistakes? To save their loved ones; to save the whole Aidios damned world?  

“It’s nothing Jusis. Just a silly fight about nothing.” Rean croaked out, voice slightly strangled with suppressed emotion. “It’s all my fault anyway. I was being a thoughtless idiot. I thought.... It doesn’t matter what I thought; I was wrong, and I hurt him.”  

Jusis hummed thoughtfully, hand raising up so he could tap at his chin.  

“Well, I agree that you can be a thoughtless idiot at times, far too sacrificial and burdened with guilt than any one person should be.”   

“Thanks, Jusis...” Rean grumbled, unsure if Jusis was trying to reassure him, or make him feel worse. Perhaps he was doing both, Jusis seemed the type to be efficient at that.  

“But I tend to find, that problems are seldom the sole fault of one person or another.” continued Jusis, undeterred. “If you have something weighing on your mind, it would be foolish in the extreme to believe that another would be able to determine your thoughts without speaking them. Especially if you are a master at hiding your true feelings. Like Crow is, or even yourself. I am sure there are many things on your minds that you have not shared, either with one another, or others.”  

Rean dropped his gaze to avoid Jusis’s pointed frown.  

Jusis sighed heavily, rubbing a tired hand over his face and turning on his heel, stalking towards the tables and taking a seat.  

“I can’t believe I’m getting involved in this...” he muttered to himself. “Well come on then, tell me what’s going on.”  

“I’m fine Jusis, there isn’t anyth-”  

“I’m going to stop you right there, Rean.” Jusis interrupted him, raising his hand when Rean opened his mouth to protest. “I have watched you closely, ever since you inserted yourself into affairs that were none of your business and made me take notice of you. I have seen both yourself and Crow labouring under a shared burden that you refuse to speak to others of; have seen the tension grow between you both at times, because you refuse to speak even to one another. You both need to open up, Rean; or you will destroy yourselves.”  

“You would think we were crazy if I were to tell you...”  

“I already do,” drawled Jusis, “so you may as well tell me everything.”  

Rean released a strangled laugh at that, wiping at the tears that he hadn’t even realised he’d still been shedding. Slowly, he walked towards Jusis, taking a seat at the table across from him.  

The conversation that followed was filled with disbelieving silence on Jusis’s part, his blond brows raising higher and higher, until they nearly disappeared beneath his fringe. Voice finally trailing off, Rean tensed, eyes focused on the wall behind Jusis; prepared for Jusis to walk away, to tell him that he was crazy and that he didn’t believe a word that he had said.  

“Well, that certainly makes certain things make more sense now.” mused Jusis, chin resting on his fist. Rean’s head swiveled quickly towards the other boy, eyes wide and vulnerable. “I can’t say that the things you’re telling me aren’t completely unbelievable... but that isn’t to say that I don’t believe what you’ve told me.”  

Jusis sighed heavily, raising his fist and pinching the bridge of his nose in consternation.  

“How in Aidios have you both managed to get this far without revealing yourselves?” he ranted, standing up and beginning to pace in agitation. “I will admit that I am pleased to have one up on Regnitz however, though that is hardly the most important issue currently. I need you to write a list of all the events that you know will happen and when, and what you have done or put in place to counteract them.”  

Rean nodded silently, relief filling his entire being.  

Someone else knew.  

Someone else knew and they believed him; wanted to help them.  

“And Rean?” Rean looked up, head tilting slightly in question.  

“Yes?”  

“I had better not see anything at all about you sacrificing yourself on that list, do you understand?” Rean shrank back at the fierce glare aimed his way. “I completely agree with Crow in this scenario. The idea is simply preposterous, and stupid in the extreme. I could say that I can’t believe that you’d even think to do something so foolish, but that would be a lie. You’re just the sort of selfishly selfless asshole who would think his death would be the best course of action. But those thoughts end now. I will not stand to see you repeat your past mistake; Crow won’t live if you decide to follow that course of action. So just remember, if you sacrifice yourself, you will also be killing Crow. He won’t survive losing you again.”  

“I... I don’t...” Rean stuttered, unsure what to say to that. He’d never thought of it that way, hadn’t thought past the moment he would save the world and his loved ones by dying again.  

“Don’t. Don’t say anything at all.” Jusis cut him off, hand slashing through the air. “Just for once in your goddess damned life, think about the impact you have on those around you. Think about how your life, or your death would affect those left behind.”  

“I will. Thank you, Jusis.”  

“You’re welcome, Rean. I do so enjoy telling people how idiotic I find their actions.” they shared a short laugh, before Jusis turned serious again. “You need to tell the others though; they would want to help; they can help. Together, we might just be able to save the world without any sacrifices being made.”  

“I’ll think about it. But for now, please just keep this between us three? I need time to think, and to apologise to Crow.”  

“Hmm, I wish you luck then my friend.” Jusis drawled, turning and waving a lazy hand over his shoulder in farewell.  

Rean stayed in the reference room for another few moments, gathering his courage and calming his nerves.  

Taking a deep breath, Rean steeled himself.  

Getting through to Crow, apologising and getting the other man to listen long enough so that he felt his sincerity, would take everything he had.  

But it was worth it.  

Crow always was.