Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

With time comes change. Taehyung has heard the tales of it, what life once was for the wolves. Something so drastically different to his own experience that the stories he’s grown up with sound like fables. While he completely grasps the fact that society evolves with time, he still can’t quite imagine the life of his ancestors. His parents constantly remind him of it to humble him as if they too haven’t lived with many things they tell him to be grateful for.

And he is grateful. He gets to sleep in a cabin that protects him from the weather, and has units inside to combat the temperature. He can travel into the city and buy things a wolf never needs, food he wouldn’t be able to find in his home, and medicines that have saved reluctant members of his pack. He can do so much and learn so much more thanks to the wolves that come before him, the great line of alphas that have represented their packs and fought to keep harmony between human and wolf so they can share their developments with each other.

The only problem, and the reason Taehyung’s parents consider him ungrateful, is he’s next up in that line and he hasn’t been as excited as he’s supposed to be.

“You knew this was coming, Taehyung-ah. Your tutor has worked hard to get you prepared. And he has done well. You are very smart. You will do well in university.”

Taehyung is an adult. He can’t fall to his knees, grovel and beg with the wide eyes that once worked on his parents. Especially not in front of the others that he will one day lead. But man, does he want to.

“And I am incredibly grateful for all that she has done,” Taehyung starts, his hands twitching to hold onto each other in a plea. “But I don’t see why she cannot continue being my tutor? Or you, Appa! Who better to learn the position I will one day take than the man who currently maintains it?”

As expected, he gets a look from his father that questions whether Taehyung thinks that will really work on him. Taehyung almost nods, almost opens his mouth to go on a tangent of praise about the man before him, but he is just as intelligent as Taehyung is about to say he is that he knows to shut him up before he can.

“You’re going.” It’s firm enough to make it clear that the conversation has ended, but not firm enough to change the warmth in his father’s eyes. “And you will be happy that you did. You get to be on your own, experience new things.”

Another thing Taehyung cannot do in front of members of his pack is show fear, and he’s filled with it now. The grumblings in his stomach increase at the mere idea of doing exactly what his father says; being alone in a massive city, surrounded by hundreds of humans and not knowing just how many around him have a hatred for wolves. 

He knows how to protect himself, a human probably doesn’t stand a chance against him once he shifts, but man, it does not sound like a good time. 

“Plus, there are a few other wolves from packs beneath our jurisdiction attending this same university, and as you’ve never shown any interest -”

“Appa,” Taehyung complains, the sound ripping from his throat as he grabs onto his father’s shoulders in desperation. His face is positively burning, and he swears he hears a quiet snicker from somewhere behind him that makes it worse. “Please tell me you have not arranged something.”

It is common. Parents setting up their young with another from birth or once they start to come of age for various reasons that Taehyung has always loathed even though he loves his parents’ story and the bits about them never thinking they could have the love they do now. His mother had to leave her home, her pack, and mate with an alpha who had to constantly travel back and forth to the city. An alpha she barely knew, and who she claimed always had his nose so high in the air and it wasn’t to track boar. 

It wasn’t easy for his parents because his mother also has alpha blood running through her veins, and some of the older members of the pack have told tales about how hard they have bumped heads because of it. But they fell in love eventually, and now look at each other as if the other has strung the great moon above them with their own hands. The only heads they bump with now are others that try to disrespect their spouse, and there’s nothing more romantic than tearing out someone’s throat in honor of your mate.

Yet, Taehyung hasn’t been quiet about how much he does not want the beginning portion of that. He does not want to leave his pack, he does not want to mate with a stranger and spend the rest of his life with them. If his parents have picked out another wolf, he doesn’t even want to see who or what they think his type is because Taehyung guarantees they’re wrong.

“You are a prime ticket, Taehyung-ah. Blood rights to two large packs, and soon leader of all those that fall beneath our jurisdiction. Funny, charming, a good hunter.” Taehyung braces himself before his father grabs his jaw gently. “Quite handsome.”

There’s definitely a snicker at that, and Taehyung doubts it’s because his father’s obviously making a joke about how much they look alike. It sounds quite like Seokmin, both the best and worst person to be overhearing this conversation. Seokmin is his best friend, the one who knows almost every embarrassing moment and thought of his, but Seokmin also teases him relentlessly. 

“Please, Appa.” Taehyung uses the proximity between him and his father to whisper, to beg. To show his father the plea in his eyes when no one else can see. “Eomma said it would be my choice.”

The sigh his father lets out almost seems mocking, or maybe it’s because the corners of his mouth tilt up with it. “Fine. Fine.” He pats Taehyung on the chest lightly. “Go to university without fuss, and it won’t be a thought that crosses my mind again.”

Shit. Taehyung’s shoulders sag. He’s been swindled, and the gleam in his father’s eyes shows his victory. He’s won the conversation, as to be expected for a politician whose life is dedicated to fighting for the rights of the wolves against other eristic politicians. Shit.

“Fine,” Taehyung gasps. He feels a bit childish for the way his arms fling around his body, but he hates when his father gets the upper hand on him in a conversation. “Fine! Send me off alone. I’ll probably be assigned to a hall labeled ‘wolf hater’ and be brutally murdered by a pack of drunk, wolf hating bro-dudes. Or - or get lost in the city or something and trip into a black hole and you’ll never find me.”

He storms off then, feeling winded. He doesn’t forget to glare at a snickering Seokmin before he goes, who does a shitty job at hiding his smile when Taehyung’s eyes land on him. All he does is turn his head, looking towards the ground, but there’s a shake in his shoulders that’s due more to laughing than fear. 

Why his father decided to have this conversation while everyone in their entire pack is near is beyond Taehyung. It isn’t only Seokmin whose eyes follow after him, but also a few wolves that lug lumber over the shoulders or pups that have stopped playing around to stare wide-eyed at their future alpha flying by. It’s making Taehyung feel as if he’s being burned alive though they have built this area beneath heavy trees to block out the sun.

And that burning almost makes Taehyung explode when he twists on his foot to change direction, to run into where the trees are denser and he can shed the clothes his ancestors would have never worn to shift into a pair of stronger legs, and stumbles upon the last person he wants to see when his hands are formed into fists.

“Hey,” Taehyung hears. He thinks at least because his heart rate has picked up in pace and is now pounding in his ears. There’s so much skin before him, and he’s looking. God, why is he looking? This isn’t anything new to him, nudity is common around here, but Taehyung’s ears are now on fire and his eyes are trailing, and what the fuck.

“I can’t tell if you’re checking me out or about to fight me,” comes next, and the cocky tone snaps Taehyung out of it. His eyes drag up and turn into his best ever glare, but he doesn’t get the same reaction as Seokmin. He never does with this one, which is why the sight of him makes Taehyung’s heart rate skyrocket and his face burn. Out of anger and annoyance.

“I’m not in the mood, Jeongguk,” Taehyung grunts, his eyes dropping again because he has stopped all ministrations of getting dressed or undressed and now just stands there with his pants in his hands, covering his crotch. “Though, if you don’t get out of my way, maybe I’ll get my frustration out by fighting rather than running.”

He gets a laugh and a cock of the head. The pants remain in his hands, but he shifts on his legs so his body moves and attracts Taehyung’s attention again. “I am just a small wolf in this large forest, surely I am not in your way, Alpha.”

It sounds as amused as his father had earlier, the ‘alpha’ mocking as Jeongguk holds his hands out. Making Taehyung look again at just how not small Jeongguk is, which is probably the point, and Taehyung takes off with a new kind of embarrassment and desperation that has him moving faster than he ever has before. 

“You are lucky, you know? There’s so many of us that wish we had the same freedoms to move into the city,” Seokmin says, nudging Taehyung in the arm where they lay, staring up at the sky. “And we can’t even say it, let alone do it, or it’s looked at pack disloyalty.”

He’s right. While Taehyung would never see that as disloyalty, a lot of the older wolves would. They have more say, more influence on his father and his decisions. Even though humans and wolves started mixing generations and generations ago, that hatred that once kept them apart has still survived through time. On both sides. “Go in my place. I give you permission to use my name.”

Seokmin laughs, a full body laugh that has him knocking into Taehyung again unintentionally. “You won’t be as alone as you think. Your father will see you often, and I think he will notice that I am not you.”

Taehyung closes his eyes, seeing the constellations on the back of his eyelids. He knows it’s just nerves. The same kind of nerves that made him too afraid to jump into the lake the first time, but he enjoyed it so much that he doesn’t even hesitate anymore. The same kind of nerves he had when he first visited the city, when he was small enough to hold his father’s hand, and had so much fun he bragged about it when he returned. And the same kind he had during his first hunt, where he desperately wanted to hide in his cabin and fake ill until his father dragged him out. 

He ended up catching the biggest bear, providing his pack with a lot of food. And it felt good, truly good to provide, and he still gets a bit nervous, but it’s easier each time.

“You’re handsome enough, Seok-ah.”

Seokmin snickers. “You know, if you find a potential mate, you won’t be alone in the city. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea for you to meet someone your parents have picked out.”

Taehyung surges forward and lands his hand onto Seokmin’s thigh. “Absolutely not. They haven’t picked anyone, my father only said that to give me no choice but to agree. If I ever had a choice in the first place.” 

He hasn’t, and he knows it. While his tutor works with all the pups in the pack, it’s only him that gets to go off and have a higher education. He needs to take advantage of that opportunity, and he wants to. He wants to go to university, he just wishes there was one here with people he grew up with, in a place that he knows. 

“Well, you have to one day. Might as well get it over with,” Seokmin says, joining him in his upright position. “You won’t have to deal with wolves flaunting over you anymore.”

“I quite enjoy that,” Taehyung jokes with a smug grin and a wagging eyebrow that pulls another full body laugh from Seokmin. “I wish it could just be you, Seok-ah. It would be easier.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes and leans back, hands planting in the grass behind him. “Even if your parents were okay with you being with someone who couldn’t help you continue your line, it would bring you great shame to be with such a weak wolf. Plus, I don’t want to deal with your whining for the rest of my life.”

The last bit is teasing, an attempt to tug away from the comment before, but Taehyung hangs onto it. “Not weak.”

As always, Seokmin shrugs. “Well, claim you’re falling in love with a human then. I’m sure they’d be fine with you mating with a wolf that can’t shift rather than bringing a human home and diluting your bloodline.”

Taehyung huffs out, the air dragged from his chest roughly. “None of it should really matter, you know?”

Seokmin nods. He leans up against him, pushing his weight into Taehyung. Silence falls upon them, only the sounds of the forest interrupting it, but Taehyung knows Seokmin’s mind is wandering in the same direction of his own. 

Well, maybe not completely. Once Taehyung’s brain starts down the path the idea of mating leads it, it ends up in places that he highly doubts Seokmin’s mind would go because Taehyung already knows who Seokmin would think of first.

“Here’s a deal,” Taehyung whispers lightly, nudging back against Seokmin. “I will open up to the idea of finding a mate if you finally talk to Binna. And I don’t mean that going to her parents first crap. Just go around her a little, make conversation. Compliment her, you know? But don’t be a creep about it.”

It’s dark, only the stars offering light, but Taehyung can still tell how red Seokmin gets. He swallows thickly, head hanging back as if he’s ignoring him.

“Every time she talks to you, you run away,” Taehyung goes on playfully. “She could be just as interested, you know.”

Seokmin snorts so hard it sounds like it hurts. “Yeah, right. Binna and I mating is just as likely as you and Jeongguk.”

That distaste returns, filling Taehyung’s mouth. He opens it to let it out, making sure to gag loudly in case any gets stuck in his throat. “That’s the least likely thing to ever happen.”

Seokmin gives him a pointed look. “Yeah, which is why I made the comparison.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and pushes up just to tackle Seokmin back to the ground. Seokmin grunts with it, his knees coming up to push into Taehyung’s stomach. There isn’t a lot of force behind it, but Taehyung always lets Seokmin win. It doesn’t hurt his pride like it does with the others, though there have been times when they were younger that it has hurt Seokmin’s.

“Talk to her,” Taehyung commands as soon as Seokmin has him down and a knee in his stomach. “Talk to her when I’m gone, and don’t be afraid. When I’m alpha, you’ll be my right hand man, and I’ll tear out the throat of any wolf or pup that tries to shame you.”

Seokmin smiles, head shaking disapprovingly. “Don’t bring a human home then. If I’m spoken for, your parents might just choose Jeongguk. You know he doesn’t have a potential mate, and as for a wolf so strong, he’d be the perfect pick -”

As much as Taehyung likes giving Seokmin the upper hand, the only wolf able to put the alpha to his back, he uses all of his strength to get Seokmin off of him. All the annoyance that he can muster at the sound of Jeongguk’s name makes him extra strong, a supreme alpha that has Seokmin onto the ground in seconds. 

“Don’t say such outlandish things,” Taehyung grunts as he hops to his feet. He holds a hand out to a shell-shocked looking Seokmin. “He is spoken for. And you know that could never happen anyway.”

The shock on Seokmin’s face morphs into something a little more confused as Taehyung helps him to his feet. “Why do you say it like tha-”

“I mean,” Taehyung interrupts quickly, wiping at Seokmin’s clothes though the majority of the dirt is on his back, “Stop comparing you and Binna to that. That will never happen. It is law. But I am quite positive Binna will return your affection.” 

Taehyung turns away as soon as Seokmin grins, just in case it isn’t about Taehyung’s hopes for him. He can practically hear Seokmin’s brain going as his feet hit the ground behind him.

“Jeongguk isn’t spoken for,” Seokmin says, pulling a groan from Taehyung. “If he were, the pack would be talking about it. He’s the most sought after after you.”

“Yeah, Seok-ah? Have you been harboring a liking for Jeongguk this entire time?”

Seokmin catches up with him and wraps an arm around his shoulders. “Just saying. Plus, everyone knows your parents favor him.”

“Enough with that, would you? It’s not happening. Eomma promised me it would be my choice, and I would never choose him,” Taehyung argues, lowering his voice the closer they get to the cabins. “And I have no interest in any of this. University first, internship, then mating. I’ll think about it then.”

Thankfully, Seokmin doesn’t say a word. He keeps his lips pressed together, but he looks amused. Even when they walk through the village and he has to put space between them, something that usually makes Seokmin’s face fall because he was wrong to call himself weak but that is a word many of the other wolves use against him. 

But now he looks like the fricking beaming sun in the middle of the dark night, brighter than the fire they pass on the way to his cabin. The fire that Seokmin looks at and Taehyung avoids because the cursed wolf they were speaking of is right there, standing beside it. The wind brings over the sound of his laugh with the scent of cooked meat, and as much as Taehyung tries not to glance in that direction, it’s a habit. 

Since leaving his father and the awkward encounter earlier, Taehyung hasn’t returned to the village. He ran through the forest until Seokmin eventually found him lingering around the edges, not wanting to rejoin his pack out of embarrassment. It should be his luck that the first person he sees is stupid Jeongguk and his cocky smile as he cooks the meat he probably caught. A show off that indulges in the attention that he gets, that he’s currently getting as the other wolves praise the kill.

There’s also another wolf standing beside him, a hand wrapped around his bicep and Taehyung only notices because it proves Seokmin wrong.

“See, told you he was spoken for,” Taehyung whispers, nudging his head towards them so Seokmin can see how the other wolf looks to Jeongguk like he too hung the moon with his own hands. “Go eat. Your stomach grumbling was ruining my peace beneath the stars, and I need to go find my father.”

Seokmin looks like he’s going to argue at first, and he’d have every right to because it was Taehyung’s stomach making all the noise, but thankfully he doesn’t. He only nods, squeezes Taehyung’s elbow, before he jogs off towards the fire. 

Taehyung only lingers a moment, eyes on Seokmin to make sure that he’s welcomed, but they fall onto Jeongguk without his permission. Just to make sure Jeongguk is friendly when Seokmin approaches, that he offers food though Taehyung hasn’t ever known him to deny someone it. 

If he does offer food, Taehyung isn’t sure, because as soon as Jeongguk sees Seokmin his eyes dart to the side until they fall on Taehyung, and Taehyung jogs off towards his cabin. 

He doesn’t get a scolding for running off though he only half expects one. As soon as he enters, he gets warm, soft hands on his cheeks from his mother. He immediately wraps around her, bending slightly to hug her properly and bury his face into her shoulder like he used to when he was a pup.

“I hope your father wasn’t harsh with you,” she whispers, patting the back of his head. Her voice is just as warm and soft as her hands. 

“You know he wasn’t,” Taehyung admits. “But I’m going to be alpha, Eomma. I can’t be afraid.”

She clicks her tongue, head shaking before she pulls away and gestures to him to follow. “He cried the first night he went to university.”

Taehyung hesitates, stuck where he stands before his mother waves a piece of bread at him to take. 

“He didn’t admit that until much later.” She laughs quietly, eyes rolling. “He tells you not to show fear for your own protection, but your father knows fear. You can talk to him about it.”

For a moment, Taehyung rips at the bread and takes his time chewing it so he can make sure his tone doesn’t come out disrespectful. “That won’t change anything.”

She crosses her arms, head tilting. “You want to go to university.”

Another mouthful of bread, another moment for Taehyung to gather himself. He knows his mother is right, that showing fear or any form of weakness, even the tiniest bit of it, could cause another wolf to attack, to threaten. His father saw it a lot with his father, their pack nearly had another alpha, but he thinks she’s wrong about being able to talk to him. He feels shame just standing here, telling his mother when she is much more open minded. 

“It is foolish,” Taehyung decides with, head shaking at himself. “I am afraid to be so far away and be by myself.”

His mother is kind, she is understanding. He has always been able to say anything to her, and she hasn’t reacted in a way that made him regret it. Yet with some things, Taehyung is still too afraid of a reaction or braces himself like he expects the time to finally come.

But now, his mother makes his heart race in a way that makes Taehyung want to embrace her again. 

“Would you be more comfortable if someone from the pack went with you? Perhaps Seokmin? You two are close, and he could use something to lift his spirits. To make him feel good, and he has always enjoyed tutoring. I’m sure he would love to further his schooling. What do you think?”

It’s a wonderful idea. Seokmin has mentioned wanting to live in the city enough times that Taehyung thinks he actually wants to. No one there will care if he can shift or that his knees don’t allow him to carry kill or lumber. He liked tutoring so much that when they came of age, he asked their tutor if he could help her with the pups. 

“Yes, Eomma, please,” Taehyung takes a step forward, uncaring about begging in the safety of his cabin. With his mother. “Do you think Appa would agree to that?”

She cups his face again, shoulders shrugging. “I don’t see why not. He knows better than to say no to me.”

Taehyung falls to his knees in gratitude, hugging his mother around the waist. The relief that breaks through him shows just how afraid he is, but right now, he doesn’t care if his mother sees it because he doesn’t want her to change her mind. He wants her to see it so she makes it happen.

He shouldn’t let himself be so relieved because there’s still a chance his father won’t agree or Seokmin will absolutely abhor the idea of it, but he can’t help it. Even if Seokmin declines, he has other friends that may be interested. It’s something only the line of alphas have done, a great honor, surely someone would agree if Seokmin doesn’t. 

“Get up, get up,” she insists, urging him back to his feet. “I would prefer to go with you. My only son, I do not want you so far away. But I cannot, so it would make me more at ease knowing you weren’t alone. And Seokmin, he is a nice boy.”

She gives him a look, her words trailing off in a way that has Taehyung pausing before a laugh blurts from his mouth.

“Seokmin is only a friend, Eomma.”

He swears her shoulders sag, and for a moment, Taehyung wonders if he could tell her things he’s always been too afraid to say. More afraid than anything else, so much so that the mere idea of uttering it has that fear returning. 

“You smell like him, dear.”

Oh. Taehyung shakes his head again, rubbing her shoulders. “We were fighting. I don’t like when Seokmin calls himself the things the other wolves say so I wished to show him it wasn’t true.”

“You’re a good boy, Taehyung-ah. Eat more of that bread. Your father is almost here, and you know how much he frets over a growling stomach.”

He does as he’s told, taking another bite before replying, “You fret.”

She gives him a stern look. “Yes. I am your mother. Eat up.”

As sensed, it’s only a few moments before the cabin door opens and his father steps in. Taehyung’s nerves spark, and he grabs another piece of bread as he shoves the last of the first into his mouth. His father’s eyes linger over him, then dart to his mother who has her back to him, before he walks slowly over to them with a plate full of meat in his hands. 

Given the heat that comes off of it and the smell, Taehyung knows his father also stopped by the fire. A bit of annoyance sparks through him at the idea of Jeongguk sending his mother meat because he’s a kiss ass, but he is more confused when his father hands it to him instead. 

“What is it?” he asks, arms crossing over his chest the moment his hands are free. “I feel as if I’ve walked into a conversation I don’t wish to hear.”

“Nonsense,” his mother says with a twinkle of a laugh around her words. She looks curiously over the meat. “I hope you’ve reminded Jeongguk that he shouldn’t be out hunting on his own, no matter how skilled he is. His mother nearly dropped dead the last time he didn’t return home after a hunt. She gets so sickly when he goes off on his own.”

Taehyung doesn’t like to think about it. Even if he detests Jeongguk, he isn’t heartless. Jeongguk had been brutally injured that time, and the sight of him when they found him had made Taehyung nearly keel over and get sick himself. He had to breathe in to get the feeling away and help carry him home, though Jeongguk made the task nearly impossible.

Brutally injured, probably close to death, and Jeongguk’s pride still made him put up a fight about being carried. 

“He knows,” his father insists, though Taehyung has a feeling that he doesn’t as he remembers Jeongguk must have been getting ready to hunt earlier when they crossed paths and he was by himself. With him cooking fresh meat now, Taehyung can only assume he went off on a hunt on his own. “Now, what is it?”

“Nothing, dear. Taehyung and I were simply talking about how we think it may be best for him to have a companion while in the city,” his mother starts much more casually than Taehyung could ever. She says it conversationally, as if it’s something that happens all the time. “It would be better for more wolves to have an education, no?”

Taehyung avoids looking at his father as if his life depends on it. He pulls at his bread, taking the tiniest of pieces into his mouth so he never has to stop chewing. It feels like time stretches and thins as the anticipation inside of him grows, waiting for his father to respond.

“You have someone in mind.”

It isn’t a question. It sounds more like an accusation, but his mother nods. “Seokmin is such a sweet boy, and I think this could be a good opportunity for him to find -”

“No.”

It’s cut off. Even Taehyung’s mother jerks back like she’s surprised by the abruptness of it, though there is no cruelty in his father’s tone. It isn’t even firm, but said as if it’s a given.

“Seonghoon-ah, I really think -”

“I said no,” his father repeats, a little bit firmer this time. He takes a piece of bread and steps aside, both Taehyung and his mother turning to look after him. “He is a sweet boy, but he cannot protect himself. Nor should watching him be added to the long list of responsibilities our son is going to have in university. And he will have to. We have come a long way, but there are still many people who react violently when they discover a wolf is walking among them. Even if it isn’t violent, they will still take advantage of a wolf so weak.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to respond, his defenses rising like his father is one of those wolves that have kicked Seokmin around. “He isn’t -”

He’s quieted in a second with a hand held up. It’s a conditioned response the way Taehyung’s mouth naturally snaps closed. 

“It isn’t meant to be an insult,” his father insists. “It has always made him a target, and you know that. Your time will be easier without you worrying over him every moment. He will remain here, safe in his own pack, and that’s that.”

Taehyung glares hard, bread forgotten as he crosses his arms over his chest defiantly. “He isn’t so safe here.”

This gets his father to falter. He looks down at the ground for a moment, toes tapping against the floor, before he meets Taehyung’s eyes again.

“Since you are often away in the city, maybe it’s best I remain here,” Taehyung says, spitting out words now because his relief has died a miserable death and his Seokmin protection mode has been turned on to the maximum level. It’s always a dangerous time when that happens as no one is safe, Taehyung doesn’t think clearly. He just wants to protect, protect, protect . “And continue protecting him because I gave him my word, when I’m the alpha, I’ll punish every wolf or pup that kicks him down.”

His father just stares at him, lips pressed into a thin line as his mother gently reaches over and clasps his elbow. The tension grows, the heat inside of Taehyung makes his skin burn, and he nearly checks to see if the heating unit is on because he’s starting to sweat.

“I cannot punish if I am not aware of it when it happens,” his father starts off slowly, his words pinched. “I have already made it clear no one is to harm him. With their hands or their words. Seokmin has assured me no one has.”

Before Taehyung can offer a retort about how guilty Seokmin feels whenever anyone is punished on his behalf, his mother squeezes his arm and speaks, “Take a breath, the both of you. Taehyung, you are going to university. That isn’t a question. And you are forgetting you two aren’t the only alphas here, eh?” She gives him a firm look, but her fingers are circling comfortingly over his arm. “The pack listens to me just the same. More so, truly. It is normal for our son to be afraid to make such a big change alone, nor do I want him to be alone. So I really think -”

“No,” his father interrupts, sounding exasperated with his arms crossing in front of him. “Seokmin remains here. I am not budging on that one. When he first realized he could not shift, his mother came to me on her knees. You remember it.” He looks at Taehyung’s mother with intensity in his eyes. “She begged me not to outcast him, and sending him into the city will look like a promise broken. It is not safe for him there.”

Taehyung hadn’t considered that. If offering would come off that way or come off more as an insult than anything else. Even if he only means it for companionship, for a sense of home, it could make Seokmin feel more different than he already does. He doesn’t know, and he should have asked first though he never thought his mother would offer up the idea to begin with. 

“I will send another wolf with you, just give me some time to work it out with the University,” his father goes on, tone softening. Taehyung’s head jerks in surprise so hard the muscle in his neck throbs. “I am leaving for the city in a few days. I will meet with the President and discuss it, alright?”

Like with his mother, Taehyung wishes to drop to his knees in gratitude, but he doesn’t. His relief had died so hard earlier that it doesn’t even spark now, not fully. He only bows his head and gives his thanks, though he’s still thrumming to argue on Seokmin’s behalf. 

“Make sure you eat,” his father orders. “Jeongguk-ah said your stomach was grumbling so loudly he could hear it from the fire. He sent that for you.”

Even if it’s petty, and his mother would punish him greatly, Taehyung has half the mind to dump the plate onto the floor. He really doesn’t need Jeongguk using him to remain in his parents’ good graces for whatever the hell he thinks it’s going to get him.

“How about that?” His mother asks before Taehyung can begrudgingly take a bite of meat because his father is watching him intently. He highly doubts his stomach was growling that loudly. “What about Jeonggukie, dear? Jongyul has often said he wishes he could have gone to university with you, and I know his mother would worry less that he cannot hunt. And oh, he’s such a smart boy. I’m sure he’d love university. The tutor always praises him.”

It takes Taehyung a moment, but thankfully not long enough that he has the meat in his mouth and chokes on it. But he chokes either way as the realization as to where his mother is going with this hits him. It hits him so hard his body spins, and he doesn’t know what expression his face is making to make his mother do a double take, but he has a couple of guesses. 

“It would be good for him, just in case. And there is no need for Taehyung to worry about him. He’s one of our strongest.” Taehyung is going to puke from all the praise, especially when his mother seems to grow eager with this new idea of hers. “He is loyal. If one of those brodude creatures bothers our son, Jeongguk will protect. He always has.”

If Taehyung weren’t in the middle of the crisis, he would laugh. But he can’t say anything, do anything, but try his damn best to school his expression and figure out what to say to get out of this. He surely can’t insist that it can’t be Jeongguk because then his parents will push to know why and he can’t tell them why . If they know how much they dislike each other, his parents will only push for it more to force them to make amends.

“Brodude is simply a saying Taehyung picked up from all that television he watches when we go to the city,” his father corrects seriously. “Which, if you had left my apartment a little more, maybe you wouldn’t be so afraid to return to the city on your own.”

Probably true, but Taehyung won’t admit it. He doesn’t even respond, still trying to keep himself from exploding into a million tiny little panic pieces so he can clear his mind and coolly get the three of them away from this conversation.

“It is nothing but a man, nothing to worry so much about,” his father goes on with a gentle rub to his mother’s shoulder. “Taehyung can take care of himself, but your mother is right, it does not hurt to have someone loyal alongside you if you’re insisting on a companion. It would be good for Jeongguk to have an education of his own if he is to lead beside you like his father has beside me.” 

Taehyung wants to scream as he sees the contemplation cross his father’s face. He wants to take it back because he sure as hell would prefer going alone rather than with Jeongguk. It would be a great honor to travel with the future alpha, to be the first wolf to attend university outside of their line, and god, Jeongguk’s ego is already too big. He doesn’t think it would even fit on the Earth any longer with how big it will grow if his father even mentions anything about protecting him. 

“I am fine,” Taehyung manages, hands shaking. “I don’t wish to take Jeongguk with me. He - he has so much responsibility here, and Eomma, you told me how hard it was with Appa being gone for so long when you were first mated -”

His mother’s features contort as if Taehyung has started speaking in a new, made up language. Or maybe she’s smelling all the shit spewing from his mouth. “What are you going on about?”

Taehyung rubs at the back of his neck. He really hopes Jeongguk isn’t somehow standing outside, listening to the words he’s about to speak. He’ll never let him live it down. “I know his mother doesn’t like him hunting, but he does provide so much for the pack. He was meant to follow after his father, be second in command, but hunting is his true calling. And I am sure he would want to remain here with his intended mate -”

Taehyung’s mother touches his cheek with the back of her hand, her eyebrows furrowing. “Have you two had a falling out?”

Earlier, his father was right. He cannot punish if he does not know what’s going on, and Taehyung can’t expect either of his parents to be aware of pack happenings if they haven’t seen that their own son has not been friends with someone for years. Sure, he’s lied to them about it, but they must clearly see that they’re never in the same space as each other until there’s a handful of other wolves between them. 

“Uh, no.” Taehyung laughs and then worries it sounds too overdone. Possibly too panicked. “That’s how I know he absolutely does not want to go to the city. He’ll loathe it.”

His mother doesn’t believe him. He can tell by the look on her face. “Jeongguk isn’t mated, nor does he have an intended. You two used to be so close. We’d never be able to find you, but when we did, it’d be somewhere in the forest, tumbling around with the little Jeon. What happened, and why didn’t you tell us?”

Shit. Shit. Taehyung is no longer hot, but ice cold. He feels as if all of the blood in his body has been drained.

“If it was something you think you can’t tell us, you can,” his father adds, his eyes now narrowed. “You know how close I am with Jeongguk’s father, if he has done something, I will address it properly. If he isn’t fit for second in command, I need to know that.”

As much as Taehyung always says it’s Seokmin, he knows he doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. Not officially. Seokmin is his right hand man, no title can change that, but he knows one day it’s intended for Jeongguk to help lead beside him. It comes with being the strongest, with being a Jeon. Another thing that time has not changed, but a thing Taehyung was hoping he could have time to change.

Now, he has it. The moment has presented itself, and Taehyung can’t get anything out but a meek, “No.”

“No?” Both of his parents repeat in unison, looking at him with the same glare that’s less questioning and more demanding of a response. 

“No, it’s - we didn’t have a falling out. I must have misunderstood the mating thing,” Taehyung rambles, getting his voice back. “I haven’t spoken to him in a few weeks because I was busy with Appa, so when I saw him with - not that it matters. Jeongguk and I are fine, yeah. I just - with the food, for the pups -”

His mother relaxes first, arms releasing from her chest to clap Taehyung on the arm. “We have plenty of wolves that hunt just fine and many, many other sources of food. You do know we can go into the city for it, right?” It’s teasing, his mother’s eyes are bright, but Taehyung is still in panic mode and it sounds in the laugh he tries to let out to appease her. “You worry too much, little alpha. It doesn’t hurt to ask him, and if he says he doesn’t want to go, he won’t be forced.” 

Taehyung’s father nods in agreement. “If that’s the case, we’ll find someone else. You should have come to me sooner about this, Taehyung-ah.”

At that, Taehyung doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have the energy to explain why he didn’t. He needs all the energy he can get to pray to the gods above that Jeongguk says no, that he truly detests the idea of going because even if he doesn’t really want to, he’ll say yes to Taehyung’s parents. 

They say he’s loyal, Taehyung says it’s an attention thing. He likes the praise and benefits that come with being the perfect stupid wolf in his parents’, in their pack’s eyes. He’s favored, doted on, constantly has wolves flocking around him like he’s some kind of enigma and not just a regular wolf like the lot of them. 

“Sorry, Appa.”

His father waves him off as he comes near. The hand he places on Taehyung’s nape is affectionate but firm. “Sit down. You look pale. There is no reason to be so nervous with your mother and I that you would run and starve yourself, understand?”

He’s forced to sit, guided down to the ground before the plate of meat is handed to him. He doesn’t say anything to that either, nor tell his parents that his stomach is a bit too upset to eat anymore right now. And he feels even more sick with how tense he gets when his father checks out the window to see if the fire is still going before excusing himself. 

His mother talks, but Taehyung isn’t listening. He stares at the window in dread, wishing he could hear his father. A wolf's hearing is much better than a human’s, but not enough for his needs right now, and he tries to strain his ears as much as possible because he cannot wait for his father to come back.

If his mother notices he hasn’t touched the meat, she doesn’t comment on it. Taehyung can’t do anything but try to quell his panic and practice his response for when his father comes back, because even if Jeongguk hates the idea of going to the city he probably hates Taehyung enough to agree to go just to ruin his life. To torture him, to get back at him for all the fights they had when they were young.

Some flash in his mind, and he wishes they wouldn’t because it’s been a long time since Taehyung has thought about them. About the last one when Jeongguk finally managed to get the upper hand, but not because of strength or flexibility. But his mouth, and the words that came out of it that had all of the strength leaving Taehyung’s limbs. It was a much younger Jeongguk that had said it, but it’s the current Jeongguk’s face that comes with the memory now and that makes it harder to think about because it’s wrapped in the suffocating reminder that time has changed so much. 

Taehyung blinks hard, forcing the memory out of his head as the door squeaks open again. It feels as if all of the strength does leave his body just like it had then when he sees the pleased expression on his father’s face.

“Jeongguk said he would be highly honored to join you, Taehyung-ah.”

Looking back at his plate, Taehyung stabs his finger hard enough into a piece of meat to make juice leak out the side. He wishes he could do that to Jeongguk, to punch him as hard in the gut as it feels Taehyung’s being punched every time he remembers what led to them falling out. As hard as regret hits him now that he ever uttered a word about his fear to his mother. 

“That’s great.”

Chapter Text

Taehyung knew it was coming. As soon as he woke this morning, he knew it would be today. Part of him didn’t want to leave his cabin so he didn’t have to face the inevitable, but if he’s trying to convince his parents that there isn’t anything wrong, it would be the right move to make.

But, he does procrastinate as much as he can. And he avoids. When he finally steps out of his cabin and catches Jeongguk out of the corner of his eye, he makes himself scarce. With feet quick across the ground, he skips joining the others for his daily breakfast duties and takes off into the forest. It’s nearly the same as hiding in his cabin, but his parents won’t suspect anything. 

Like his mother said the night before, it’s quite common for Taehyung to disappear and lose track of time. He just no longer can be found getting up to mischief with Jeongguk. No more playing pretend amongst the trees and learning the forest. No more tackling each other to the ground with giggled challenges about who is stronger. No more whispering about things that children or young teens find important or filling their pockets with rocks because Seokmin’s face always lit up when they presented him with a cool one or ones that would help him with whatever he was building at the time. 

Taehyung isn’t quite alone when he reaches the river, others have come to clean themselves as well. While his grandfather was the one to build bathing houses for them, the majority of the wolves still prefer it here. Even some of the younger ones, which leads Taehyung to  wonder if bathing in the open river, underneath the morning sun, is an inherited trait or not. 

Although it took Taehyung more time than the other wolves his age to dive into the deepest part of the river from a rock quite high, he’s always enjoyed the shallower ends. So much so that he would take off when he was younger to go into the water, so distracted by his want to swim that one time he completely missed a bear and her cub until his mother came flying after him. 

He wants to do that now, wishing he was smaller so no one will notice the splash that comes with how urgently he wants to dive in. But he remains slow as he kicks off his shoes and strips from his clothes. Just another wolf here to clean themselves and not hide. 

It’s always colder in the morning, the chill sending a shock up his spine that makes him hesitate for only a moment before he ducks his head under to adjust to it fully. To let it consume him the way he likes. It makes it harder for people to find him, and feels as if he’s miles away even if he doesn’t swim deep, in his own little world that only the fish can reach. 

He’s far enough from the other wolves that have come to bathe that he doesn’t cross their paths, even when he swims in no direction. It truly feels like an escape, one that Taehyung needs but shouldn’t take, but as his life has been going lately, he doesn’t get to savor the relief long.

Taehyung emerges from the water to catch his breath, shaking his head so his wet strands of hair sprinkle water droplets around him. He only gets in the first deep inhale before he’s sinking lower into the water as if something has grabbed his leg and pulled him deeper. Hunching low so his chin dips back under, only his mouth and up exposed to the air. 

It would be a better idea to duck back down and swim off until he’s far away, that’s what he actually wants to do, but he’s frozen for a moment as he catches sight of the wolf he came here to avoid.

Jeongguk is at the edge of the river, pulling off his socks. He looks down to do so, which gives Taehyung the time to disappear, but he doesn’t move. He battles with himself because he doubts it’s just coincidence that Jeongguk wants to bathe now, but he highly doubts Jeongguk so easily found him when he wasn’t tracking after him. It’s most likely that Jeongguk came here to talk, and Taehyung should do it now and get it over with rather than deal with anxiety and dread all day, but he doesn’t want to. Something like a childish tantrum builds up inside of him at the mere idea of having to talk to Jeongguk for more than a few seconds in a place where they’re more or less alone.

The chance to disappear goes as Jeongguk dumps his last sock to the ground and immediately looks to Taehyung. He makes no move to remove anything else, thankfully, as he crosses his arms over his chest instead.

“Would you prefer to have this conversation shouted back and forth across the river, or would you like company while you bathe, Alpha?”

Taehyung ducks his head under the water. Why couldn’t he become a fish instead? Just a little guy swimming all the time, dodging human’s toes and bigger, cannibalistic fish. Hidden deep in the water where annoying wolves cannot find him. 

He forces himself forward, swimming closer to the shore where his feet can touch the ground. He tries to come off casual, unbothered, with his arms floating out from around his body and mimicking that cocky tilted head thing that Jeongguk does all the time, but he feels like a fool.

“What conversation?” Taehyung asks. He worries his voice sounds as if he had ingested too much water and choked it all out. “I don’t believe there’s anything for us to discuss.”

“So you are avoiding me,” Jeongguk replies with. He succeeds at casual much more than Taehyung does when he shoves his fists into his pockets and rests his weight to one foot. It looks more believable because it probably is. Jeongguk loves being infuriating. “I was wondering when you looked at me, your eyes bulged out of your head, and then you rushed off like a young pup stumbling upon a bear much too big.”

Taehyung wrinkles his nose at that. He’s lying. Taehyung only caught sight of Jeongguk out of the corner of his eye so he has no right to think his bulging eyes had anything to do with him. “I didn’t rush off. I just very eagerly took off to take a bath. I quite enjoy doing so in the morning. Didn’t want to miss the morning rays.”

The distance between them isn’t big enough to keep Jeongguk’s snort from Taehyung’s ears. “I quite like to solve all problems in the morning, and I would quite like to know why your father threatened me the night before so I know how to go about my day.”

Confusion riddles through Taehyung, alongside panic that has him whipping his head around to gauge just how likely it is that the other wolves heard him. That definitely shouldn’t be a conversation that’s shouted back and forth, but he really doesn’t want to get out with Jeongguk right there and he doesn’t want Jeongguk to join him either. 

His silence isn’t an answer, but Jeongguk takes it as one. He strips from his shirt, causing Taehyung to nearly bound forward to tell him not to come in but he’s quieted by the wounds on Jeongguk’s chest. They’re not the worst that Taehyung has seen, not even close, but enough to show that Jeongguk’s kill had put up quite the fight. 

Jeongguk steps casually into the water like he isn’t sporting a deep bite wound on his shoulder, like it doesn’t pain him at all. “I think saying I was a bit confused is putting it lightly.”

“As am I,” Taehyung calls back. “I was only aware that he asked you to accompany me to the city. If he threatened you into doing so, I can speak to my mother. She insisted that if you didn’t want to go, you wouldn’t be forced.”

As soon as Jeongguk’s waist-deep into the water, he swims forward and closes the space between them a lot faster than Taehyung would prefer. He gets too close actually, so close that Taehyung can see the confusion and damn glint in his eyes when he shakes his head. 

“No. That’s quite the honor. I would love to accompany you.” Taehyung bites the tip of his tongue as Jeongguk spans his arms out across the top of the water, cussing at himself. He knew it. “After he asked if I would, he told me if there were any problems between you and I, I better fix it before we return if I want to maintain my position as second.”

Crap. Taehyung thought he had done a good job at convincing his parents that there was no problem between him and Jeongguk. All that praise for nothing. “My mother made a comment that we aren’t as close as we once were, which then led her to the assumption that we’ve had a falling out.”

Jeongguk cocks his head at this, eyes lazing over Taehyung in an expression he cannot read because he’s trying too hard to read it. “If she assumes we are not close, then why was I asked and not Seokmin?” 

He has to know the answer to that. “I asked if Seokmin could come with me, but my father refused and suggested you instead.”

“Yet threatened me,” Jeongguk pushes, getting a little closer. Just enough that Taehyung can feel the water move against him from it. “What did you tell them?”

The glint isn’t there anymore. Taehyung almost wishes it was, even though it’s annoying, as he prefers it to the intense look Jeongguk gets now. Not that he’s afraid of him, it just reminds him too much of their last fights and the tension that remained so strong between them for so long. The glaring looks before they avoided eye contact all together.

Taehyung assumes he knows why Jeongguk looks at him like that now. It’s probably for the same reasons Taehyung doesn’t want to tell his parents about it either.

“I don’t want you to go with me,” Taehyung admits harshly. “In my attempt to get my parents to change their mind, I made a comment about how you would prefer to be with your intended mate. My mother assumed we haven’t spoken because apparently you aren’t spoken for, but I told her it’s simply because I’ve been busy preparing so I misunderstood.”

Jeongguk relaxes, his shoulders dipping beneath the water. The damn glint comes back stronger than ever, and Taehyung changes his mind. “Why would you think I was?”

Taehyung huffs out, his mouth close enough to the water that it bubbles out before him. “It hardly matters. The point is that I didn’t say anything to them. There’s no need to worry. I know how important it is to your ego that you have the spot beside me at the top of the pack. Even if Seokmin deserves it more than you.” 

While Taehyung can’t quite argue with his parents that he’d prefer to have another second hand man, he’s let Jeongguk know enough times that he doesn’t react now. 

“It is important to me,” Jeongguk corrects, arms swiveling back so there’s more space between them again. “Which is why I think going with you is a good idea. If we are going to work together, we should probably get along.”

Taehyung can’t help but laugh, even if Jeongguk is right. He tries not to think about it too much, always pushing it off to deal with later but he can’t deny that it will be hard to work with Jeongguk when they both hate each other so much. “It’s a little too late for that, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk lowers his back against the water, looking up at the sky above. “Probably. I can’t quite say I will enjoy being by your side as your second hand, but it is my duty.”

Something heavy sinks in Taehyung’s stomach, nearly dragging him back beneath the water. It’s nothing new, but it still hits Taehyung the same. He knows they hate each other, but he hates even more when Jeongguk reconfirms it even if he’s quick to do it too.

It’s hypocritical, sure, but because Taehyung does it too, he knows Jeongguk means it like a dig just like he does and that’s what bothers him the most. 

“Well, I would be more than happy to put up a bigger fight about having Seokmin there instead,” Taehyung grits out. “Lie or something. Make you look really bad.”

Jeongguk frowns deeply at him. He comes back again, getting closer than before. Taehyung expects him to say something mean, harsh, because if he did something bad enough to lose second in command after generations and generations of his ancestors doing so, losing the spot wouldn’t be his worst punishment.

But instead, Jeongguk mutters, “I thought Seokmin was your intended? You know you cannot mate with your second in command.”

Taehyung stares at Jeongguk’s mouth when he speaks, feeling his own features slowly crumble together. “He’s just a friend.”

It’s not what he meant to say. He meant to say his parents wouldn’t allow it for reasons Jeongguk must know, or that he wouldn’t take away Seokmin’s happiness for his own selfish reasons because he truly does believe Binna returns his affections. But he says that instead, and it sounds like a fucking assurance.

Jeongguk peers over him, one eyebrow arching. “That means nothing in terms of mating, hyung. And with how much you smell -”

Perhaps it’s childish, but Taehyung doesn’t care. He pushes his hands through the water until it splashes into Jeongguk’s face. His eyes close immediately, his mouth pressing shut and cutting off whatever he’s going to say. It only backfires because Taehyung readies himself to do it again but Jeongguk grabs onto his wrists and holds them beneath the water. 

“I didn’t realize you would care to notice such a thing,” Taehyung seethes. The hold on his arms is light, but Taehyung doesn’t try to rip them free. There’s something bubbling up inside of him, something that’s usually brought on by the smallest of interactions with Jeongguk, but it’s stronger now because he’s also frustrated with himself. “Nor do I know why we’re talking about it at all. I have no interest in mating, and if I did, it would be of no concern to you.”

Jeongguk is still glaring, but his hands are gentler as they release their hold and graze up Taehyung’s forearms before letting go completely. “Well, maybe it should be if we want your parents to think we get along.”

Again, Jeongguk’s right. This time though, Taehyung doesn’t want to admit it to even himself. “There is no one so there is nothing to know.”

He should probably get out of the water and go somewhere else. As much as he was expecting to talk about his father’s request the night before, he wasn’t expecting any of this. He doesn’t want to talk about any of this because he can already hear the bitterness in his words. They can never hold a conversation long because it always turns this way, and it makes Taehyung’s stomach feel as if it’s been twisted into a million knots. 

But he doesn’t move because Jeongguk doesn’t, and he can nearly feel Jeongguk’s body against his own though it’s a figment of his imagination. There’s water and space between them, but Jeongguk’s knee bumps into his, and his hand moves through the water so it moving against Taehyung’s skin feels like him touching again.

“That is good to know,” Jeongguk murmurs, his tone softer than Taehyung would like. “Your father did arrange an intended for me, but I requested he change his mind because her heart belongs to another. Your Seokmin.”

Taehyung perks up at that. He wants to ask, but he doesn’t want to give Jeongguk the satisfaction of having something he wants. And he has a feeling he will hold it over him as he purposefully didn’t say a name.

“She’ll be relieved, if it is alright that I tell her. It may ease her to know she doesn’t need to compete with the little alpha.”

Little alpha. Jeongguk looks much too amused when he says it for it to be anything other than an insult though there’s barely any difference in their size. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Did you not refer to yourself as a small wolf just the day before?”

Jeongguk’s hands move through the water, but one lands on Taehyung’s again. At first, it’s a light touch, maybe an accident, but the touch firms before Jeongguk’s fingers curl around the skin above his wrist. It firms enough that Jeongguk moves closer until Taehyung can actually feel the wet fabric of his shorts against his bare thigh. 

“It isn’t meant as an insult, only a name the pack has been calling you for as long as I’ve been alive,” Jeongguk whispers. Water clings to his eyelashes, and Taehyung hates that he’s close enough to see them. “We’re definitely going to have to work on these rising defenses if your parents are ever going to believe we get along.”

Jeongguk lets go and swims back then, this time back to the shore. “I’m looking forward to that, Big - no -” He turns, giving Taehyung a grin so devilish that Taehyung wants to scream, “- Massive Alpha.” 

Taehyung flicks him off with both hands. “You’re just looking forward to torturing me?”

There’s wounds on Jeongguk’s back too, though less than his front, that Taehyung can see when he emerges from the water. He shakes his hair out, ignoring Taehyung or so Taehyung thinks until he watches Jeongguk grab his pile of clothes instead of his own.

“Maybe so,” Jeongguk calls back before he’s taking off in a full speed run that must grab the attention of the other wolves.

“Fucker,” Taehyung cusses, moving as fast as he can with his legs still in the water until he’s free, but it isn’t enough. Jeongguk’s fast, and with such a lead, there’s no way Taehyung will catch him before he gets back to the den.

He’s positive that’s where Jeongguk is taking his stolen clothes because it’s the only place Taehyung won’t argue with him. Especially not so soon after assuring his parents that they were still great friends.

So begrudgingly, Taehyung picks up Jeongguk’s discarded shirt and covers himself with it while ignoring the fact that he could just shift and return home that way. There’s no need to put on Jeongguk’s clothing, and he shouldn’t either because he’ll probably have to deal with Jeongguk’s smug ass face when he sees him in it.

And he really shouldn’t bring the collar to his nose as he takes off into the forest, but Taehyung has it buried into the fabric before he even realizes what he’s doing. Jeongguk smells good, and it’s a fact that Taehyung has forced himself to accept. He can’t quite spend his time being bitter over it or thinking it means anything when he’s heard plenty of wolves whispering about how good he smells.

Plus, he can’t quite plug up his nose every time Jeongguk is around because that would definitely get the other wolves of their pack to start talking like they all love to do. 

Taehyung grits his teeth and adjusts the collar back to where it’s supposed to be. His face burns hot, but he ignores that he just sniffed Jeongguk’s shirt. He can’t even let himself remember what he’s done, he’d much rather die a brutal death than ever be caught sniffing anything related to Jeongguk. 

“There you are, little alpha! I was looking for you, but your mother said you took off to avoid helping with the elders’ breakfast.” Taehyung holds in his groan as an older wolf approaches. Jeon Jongyul, wearing a glint in his eyes that must be hereditary as he looks over Taehyung. “I am to assume that isn’t the reason?”

Nothing on Jongyul’s face changes when his fingers slip around the collar of Taehyung’s shirt. He only looks at it pointedly, curiously.

“Of course not,” Taehyung says, avoiding the wolf’s eyes in an attempt to find another with the same pair. “I wouldn’t run from my duties.”

Jongyul doesn’t let go of the shirt, and while he looks pleasant enough, Taehyung can’t help but feel as if he’s inspecting him. Or maybe it’s all in his head, as he feels self conscious wearing Jeongguk’s shirt in front of him. “You’re always a good boy, little alpha. I wanted to speak to you for a moment, if that is alright. Before you go off and help your mother.”

Crap, shit. Taehyung bites his tongue and hopes the fact that he does not want to talk to him doesn’t show on his face. He wants to find Jeongguk and get his clothes back or go to his house and change. He might return to the river and scrub Jeongguk’s scent off of him because every small flare of Jongyul’s nostrils is making him anxious.

“My son informed me that he’s been requested to guard you while in the city.” Guard? Who the hell said anything about needing a guard? “It is quite the honor. My line has served beside yours for many generations now, and our responsibility to our alpha is not something we take lightly. I give you my word that my son will put his loyalty to you first.”

The groan nearly comes out when Jongyul lets go of the shirt to grab the back of Taehyung’s neck. This isn’t anything new, Jongyul quite often speaks of where his loyalties lie like an assurance. Taehyung understands why he finds it necessary as his father was the first Jeon wolf in history to betray the alpha.

But still, it’s monotonous. 

“If he gives you any reason to think differently, you come to me and I will set him straight,” Jongyul goes on, that glint disappearing into something much more serious. “He is young, and a bit reckless, but he will protect you well. It is an -”

Taehyung lays his hands gently on Jongyul’s chest. There’s a silent plea in his fingertips to get him to move back and release his grip. “An honor, yes. If you’d excuse me, I don’t wish for my mother to think I’ve avoided my duties any longer.”

Thankfully, Jongyul lets him go fully, but he still prevents Taehyung from running off like he wants to. “Best to change out of my son’s clothes beforehand. You know how the elder wolves are. How they think.”

The heat returns to Taehyung’s face, but he doesn’t entertain that with a response. He doesn’t try to think too hard on how Jongyul says it either or if he notices that Taehyung does not run off towards his home to change out of his clothes. 

Taehyung follows his nose instead though it isn’t necessary to find Jeongguk. One of the reasons Taehyung thought he was safe to hide out by the river is because Jeongguk is more responsible than him. He has a routine that he sticks to every morning, first helping to gather the pups for breakfast and help them be a little less rowdy. It’s where Taehyung heads first, listening for the excited calls of Jeongguk’s name which is such a common occurrence it has turned into background noise like the birds flying overhead. 

His clothes are nowhere to be found, and Taehyung really shouldn’t be surprised. A few pups cling onto Jeongguk as they jump on their toes and look up at him as if he’s doing something amazing. Taehyung can’t hear what Jeongguk is saying, but he assumes it’s a story about his kill the day before because, while he now has pants on, his battle wounds are still out on display. That’s usually what it is as Jeongguk has a tendency to tell grandiose stories to the little ones. Tall tales about huge monsters and impossible battles he has fought. 

Sometimes, Taehyung thinks it’s cute, but he won’t ever admit it unless he’s talking about how excited the pups get. 

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung hisses under his breath when he comes near. He keeps his face pleasant though as one of the smaller pups lets go of Jeongguk to grab onto his hand instead. “That shirt was expensive. Where is it?”

There was a smile on Jeongguk’s face, but it seems to slip off now as his eyes roll over Taehyung. His brows furrow together as if he’s confused by Taehyung being here, as if he hadn’t intended for Taehyung to chase after him to get his clothes back. Surely he didn’t expect he’d be allowed to just keep them? 

“Jeongguk -”

Jeongguk’s eyes snap up to his face, his jaw clenched hard. He looks as if Taehyung stormed across the green and started cursing at him. “What?”

If they weren’t in front of so many little eyes, Taehyung would do just that. He’d curse Jeongguk while pounding his frustrated fists into his chest. “I said my shirt is expensive. Where is it?”

The pup holding onto Taehyung’s hand tugs harder, but he doesn’t look away because Jeongguk is still looking at him as if they’ve both silently agreed to see who can glare harder at the other. “It is a pajama shirt.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Taehyung sighs tiredly. He gives into the pup tugging on him to lift him into his arms, and it’s a bit selfish because it also stops him from slamming his hands into Jeongguk’s chest like he wants to. “Give my clothes back to me.”

There’s a tug at the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth, and he lifts his hand between them like he is going to touch Taehyung’s arm before he rests his hand to the back of the pup instead. “Doesn’t seem like you need them right now.”

Oh, is he infuriating. If it weren’t for the pup grabbing at his cheeks and calling his name, he’d spit out just how maddening he finds Jeongguk to be. The words layer over his tongue and beg to be released, but Taehyung swallows them down despite how sour they taste. 

“Alpha! Jeongguk hyung said he fought off lions . I didn’t know there were - were lions in our forest!”

The pup nearly falls out of Taehyung’s arms with how he rocks his body with his excitement. Taehyung tightens his grip on him as he says, “Don’t listen to him. You know how badly he smells? It’s because of all the shit that comes out of his mouth.”

With eyes widening, the pup plants his hands to his own mouth and starts giggling at the profanity. His head shakes in scolding, and if Taehyung weren’t so filled with frustration, he’d be overcome with fondness of how cute the pup is.

“Is that so?” Jeongguk murmurs. He moves his hand away from the pup to touch Taehyung’s arm, just a bit before Taehyung feels a tug on the sleeve he wears behind the pup’s back. “I think I smell fine.”

He smells his own forearm, then his bicep. He looks contemplative then amused before he curls around the pup and presses his nose into Taehyung’s shoulder. 

“What do you think?” Jeongguk asks the pup quietly. “Do I really smell bad?”

The pup giggles again, head shaking. “No, hyung.”

Jeongguk makes an inquisitive noise before he moves his nose against Taehyung’s shoulder again, but Taehyung swerves his body and nearly smashes his shoulder into Jeongguk’s face before he can.

“Stop,” Taehyung hisses like a warning, uncaring if the pup catches onto the panic bubbling in his tone. Jeongguk’s nose nears too close to the curve of his neck like he’s about to scent him. If wearing his shirt is enough to scandalize the elders, then surely Jeongguk seemingly scenting him out in the open will cause an uproar. “Just tell me where they are. Your father reminded me to change before I help my mother with the elders.”

At first, Jeongguk doesn’t let him go. He keeps his hand on him and nose near his body, only flinching back from Taehyung’s movement, but then he straightens and that stupid smirk is finally gone. Taehyung almost feels bad because he had spoken coldly, and he doesn’t think the elders have the right to judge or care at all for the reasons they will, but they do. Time hasn’t changed that, and the reminder is important. 

“I was going to dump them at your house,” Jeongguk grumbles as he takes the pup from Taehyung’s arms. “But Seokmin was there, looking for you. Gave them to him. Come on, little ones, I can hear those tummies of yours grumbling.”

There’s a bit of commotion, a rumble of responses from the pups that’s just loud enough that Taehyung takes the risk and lets out the groan he’s been holding in since he woke up. 

Jongyul had been right. It would have been a better idea to change out of Jeongguk’s shirt before helping with the elder wolves, but now Taehyung is in a mood and doesn’t care about their looks or uttered comments. He brings them their food and helps those who need it bring it to their mouths quietly and then leaves as soon as he’s able to do so.

He rips Jeongguk’s shirt off the moment he gets home, burying it beneath his basket of dirty laundry before changing into something that smells like himself and falling face first into his bed. He stays there for a moment before he rolls around, neck stretching to rub it against his own pillow in an attempt to get any lingering Jeongguk scent off of him. Realistically, Taehyung knows it only seems so strong because the collar is right under his own nose, but he feels like he’s been soaked in it all morning and it’s driving him up the wall. 

“Oh, um, should I come back later?”

Taehyung freezes, his head tilted awkwardly from rubbing his neck. Hanging in his open window is Seokmin, amusement loud across his face. 

Quickly, Taehyung scrambles up and readjusts his shirt. He usually leaves his window open for this exact reason, as Seokmin gets embarrassed easily around his parents, but he had meant to shut it when he returned home because he knew Seokmin would probably find him and question why Jeongguk had his clothes, underwear included, in his possession.

“Jeongguk stole my clothes while I was bathing to be an ass,” Taehyung blurts out, pushing up from the bed to meet Seokmin. “Which is ironic since he only came to the river to tell me we need to get along better.”

The amusement on Seokmin’s face grows. “I figured he stole them, though with how guilty he looked when I caught him where I’m standing now, I thought he went into your room.”

Taehyung makes a face at that, one that causes Seokmin to laugh. “Jeongguk’s an ass, not a creep. Use the front door, my parents aren’t home.”

Seokmin leans his elbows on to the windowsill, head shaking. “I’m being called to the gardens today. Can’t stay. I stopped by earlier to check on you and see how it went with your father last night.”

Taehyung falls to his knees dramatically, perching his own elbows on the windowsill until he’s face to face with Seokmin. “I made it even worse. My mother thinks I want a companion so now I’m being forced to go to university with my future second hand.”

Despite the concern for how miserable Taehyung is, Seokmin laughs like he’s delighted. His hands clap in front of him, and the laughter doesn’t cease even when Taehyung gives him a threatening glare. 

“I’m sorry,” Seokmin hiccups out, eyes glistening. “That’s rough, buddy. I’m sure Jeongguk jumped on that chance.”

With a groan, Taehyung buries his face against his forearm. “He sure did. His father referred to him as my ‘guard.’ Like I really need Jeongguk thinking he’s some kind of bodyguard. You know he’ll use that to torture me relentlessly.”

Seokmin’s coo of pity isn’t genuine. He looks way too amused as he pats Taehyung’s cheek in a way that’s probably meant to be reassuring. “You know I don’t understand why you hate him so much. Everyone likes him, and there’s a reason for it. He’s one of the few wolves who hasn’t ever given me a hard time, and as soon as I mentioned bringing you food, he started piling a massive plate together that he insisted your father take to him.”

Taehyung taps his head against his arm a few times, a knot forming in his throat. “To make himself look good, Seok-ah. He hates me just as much as I hate him. Be thankful you don’t see that side of him because it’s infuriating.”

Seokmin rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine. I’ll try to sneak away and rescue you from him while you’re in the city. How does that sound? I can’t be called disloyal if I’m doing so to protect my alpha.”

A smile tugs at Taehyung’s lips. “You’re the best, Seok-ah. I wish you could come with me instead.”

With his hands on the windowsill, Seokmin rocks back while shaking his head. “No way. You’re a disaster. I threw your clothes in your room and you probably didn’t notice with how dirty it is in there.”

Taehyung snaps his head up and looks around, taking in the state of his bedroom. It is a bit messier than he’d prefer, but he’s been busy. He accidentally created a few piles of mess around, but he’ll get to it. 

“I take back the ‘I love you.’”

Seokmin laughs. “No you don’t. You love me the most. That better not change when you go exploring the city with your new bodyguard.”

Taehyung bares his teeth. He considers closing the window on Seokmin, but instead he reaches out of it and grabs Seokmin’s cheeks. “No fucking way. It’ll be a miracle if I don’t kill him. I’m going to request that he has an apartment far away from me so I never have to see him.” 

“If your mother wanted you to have a companion, you know that isn’t happening,” Seokmin reminds him, making that dread return to Taehyung’s gut. “You’ll be lucky if she even lets you have a two bedroom apartment and not one of those open space apartments. She’s protective.”

Shit. Taehyung closes his eyes and breathes out slowly. Seokmin is right, and he’s going to die. If he kills Jeongguk, his parents will never believe that they get along but that’s going to be inevitable if there’s no true escape from him. 

“Jeongguk has probably been instructed to be on you like a fly on a pig. Like a bee on a flower. Like -”

“Alright,” Taehyung grunts, smushing Seokmin’s cheeks until he can’t speak anymore. “I get it. Please stop. I’m already miserable.”

Seokmin grabs Taehyung’s wrists to pull him close. He gets near his shoulder like he might try to hug him through the window before he laughs again. “Were you rolling like that to get Jeongguk’s scent off of you and onto your bed? You reek of him.”

Without word, Taehyung lets Seokmin go to fall backwards onto his messy floor. He hits the ground somewhat hard, but he doesn’t care as he stares up at the ceiling of his bedroom and prays to his ancestors for mercy and forgiveness.

Chapter Text

When Taehyung was younger, he would travel to the city often. A quick visit with the other wolves to run errands, a mini vacation trip with his mother to visit his father who sometimes needed to stay in the city for an extended period of time, or going with his father to various places a growing alpha needed to visit. When he got into his later teen years and until now, he hasn’t frequented the city as much, but the trip is just as familiar as it used to be.

Despite being familiar with the city, it still takes a moment to adjust. He’s always a little on edge with the crowd and the noise, his instincts still screaming at him about his lack of safety the moment he steps into the train. He’s almost thankful for the hand Jeongguk places on his back as if he can sense it, but he’s even more thankful for how quickly Jeongguk removes it when Taehyung whips his head around to glare at him. 

“Good you have me if you can’t even handle a train.” 

Taehyung grits his teeth and eyes his father, who has already moved down the train in search of seats. “Wolves weren’t meant to ride trains. I just need a moment to adjust.”

“Early humans weren’t riding around in them either,” Jeongguk mumbles, pressing up against his back unnecessarily. It would bother Taehyung more if his massive backpack weren’t strapped to his chest like he’s afraid of losing it if he puts it on his back. If offers enough space between them that they aren’t actually touching, though it’s still ruthless with the mental images it causes of Jeongguk wrapping around his back. “Or the dinosaurs. Can you imagine -“

“You know what I mean.” The train is a bit more spacious than Taehyung has seen, but everything seems too closed in and cramped compared to the forest. “Though, I am not sure this train will even be able to run with how heavy that bag must be.”

If Jeongguk intends to respond, he doesn’t as Taehyung’s father turns towards them and waves them over. Taehyung moves hurriedly to snatch the seat across the aisle from where his father sits so he can be by the window. It leaves the seat beside him free for Jeongguk to occupy, but Taehyung knows Jeongguk will choose the seat beside his father instead.

He knows it so certainly that he immediately starts his relaxation process, adjusting to everything around him and preparing for the unsettling feeling that comes when the train starts to move. It’s a necessary process for him because it does make it easier for him to get back into the city swings of things, but it’s a process that’s interrupted when Jeongguk leaves the luggage rack and practically flings himself into the seat beside him.

“Go be a good boy and sit beside my father so you can kiss his ass,” Taehyung whispers, leaning in closer so he can keep his voice as quiet as possible.

Jeongguk adjusts back into the seat, making himself comfortable. “I need to sit here and protect yours instead.”

There had been zero doubt that Jeongguk would use this to terrorize him every moment, but for once, Taehyung hates that he was right. They’ve barely interacted since Jeongguk was first asked to accompany him, and Taehyung has already had enough. 

“You’re annoying,” Taehyung mumbles under his breath. He crosses his arms and turns that glare to the ceiling, breathing in slowly in an attempt to relax once more. “Technically, my father would be the first one to protect if need be.”

Jeongguk makes a noise of disagreement. “I’m under his strict orders.”

Taehyung closes his eyes to fight off the urge to roll them. He’s quite sure his father said something along those lines, but not as dramatically as Jeongguk makes it seem. Or how Taehyung takes it, like his life is on the line or something. “You’re going to be the one crying for help during your appointment tomorrow. All those vaccinations you need? Those hurt like a bitch. And they’ll probably have to take your blood, which means they stick a needle longer than this finger here into your vein -”

It’s petty. It’s childish. Taehyung’s well aware of this, but he’s still satisfied when Jeongguk clasps onto the hand Taehyung uses to show off the exaggerated size of the needle and lands it hard onto his lap in retaliation. He even curls his own finger around Taehyung’s, but the hold isn’t tight enough to compliment the threat in Jeongguk’s eyes. 

“I’ve had my chest ripped open by a claw bigger than that. I’ll be fine,” Jeongguk retorts, but he looks just as pale as he had when his father first mentioned what they were doing on this trip. “Though, it would be very kind of you to hold my hand through it, Alpha.”

Taehyung’s eyes drop to watch Jeongguk’s mouth form into a smile that he expects to be condescending, but it isn’t. “No way in Hell.”

“Why not? You are now.”

Taehyung wiggles his hand free, his face burning because he wasn’t paying attention to the fact that Jeongguk still had his hand clasped over his own. “I said you were annoying but what I really meant was ‘insufferable.’”

The smile Jeongguk gives him is pleased. He settles back in his seat, returning his hands to his lap. The new position gives Taehyung a view of his father, a reminder of how close he is because Taehyung had forgotten that too. He has his head tilted like he’s watching them curiously, but he gives no indication if he could hear what they were saying over the growing noise around them.

Shit. Taehyung totally planned to use this short trip to the city to show his father just how well he and Jeongguk get along. How close they still are, and he’s ruined it before the train could even get them there. 

“What will we be doing today, Appa?” Taehyung tries. “Tomorrow is the doctor’s, and then a tour of the university, no?” 

His father settles back in his seat, checking his watch as if the warm sun glow coming through the windows isn’t enough to tell them it’s early o’clock in the morning. “I have a lunch meeting so I will show you two to the apartment, and then you are free to do some exploring. Get to know the area, if you wish.”

Part of Taehyung is a little relieved that he won’t be doing that bit alone, but he won’t admit it. 

“I’ve already discussed my expectations and rules,” he goes on, now looking pointedly at the two of them. “And if you think you can break any of them and hide it from me, you’re wrong. It wasn’t that long ago I too was a twenty year old wolf, new to being alone and free in the city.”

Again, Taehyung has to resist the temptation to roll his eyes because it was a long time ago that his father was his age, but mostly because this is the third time his father has said this and used it to start an even longer rant. One that Taehyung sees coming, though it’s unnecessary.

The rules are as to be expected. They need to be careful around new people, even other wolves. This means no letting their guard down, no drinking, no abandoning each other if they’re invited to go out with new friends. They have to keep their apartment clean and their bodies taken care of. His father even tried to instruct Taehyung especially not to share his body with another, but Taehyung had stopped him with burning ears because Jeongguk was right there and his father was talking like Taehyung was going to spend his college years creating a small population of little alphas. 

But now, they’re only in the city for a few days to get familiar with the area on their own, and Taehyung doesn’t think they’re going to meet anyone really. Maybe their neighbors or workers at whatever places they visit, but that’s about it.

“You’ve said that a few times,” Taehyung starts, “But you’ve never elaborated. Were you a big partier, Appa? A hit with the ladies? Because I can really only see you in the library or arguing with professors.”

His father grins. “I can tell you I have enough research and experience to prove that wolves can drink more than a human, but that’s all you’re getting. I was with your mother then, Taehyung, but I don't call myself handsome because I think so. I’ve been told it often enough.”

Taehyung groans, twisting in his seat as his father cracks out a laugh that’s harder than it should be. Even Jeongguk shares a look with him like he’s thinking the same thing as him. “We’ll be on our best behavior. You know that.”

His father nods, still smiling proudly. “I also know what it’s like to be young and presented with new things. The curiosity, the urges -”

“Okay, Appa, ” Taehyung interrupts wildly. He was nervous for the train to start moving, but now he’s begging for it so they can get to the city and away from him. “We get it.”

“I am just saying, my boy,” his father says as Taehyung turns to look out the window because both Jeongguk and him are looking his way, “If you break a rule, there is no reason to hide it from me. I am understanding. These rules are simply in place for your own safety.”

Taehyung doesn’t respond nor look away from the window. His body tenses in anticipation for the train to move and for his father to continue until Taehyung is forced to respond, but thankfully, Jeongguk does before he has to.

“Alpha, don’t worry. I will protect your son from others, and that curiosity and those urges as well.”

There’s so much amusement coming off of Jeongguk that Taehyung wants to die. He wants to slip on the floor and melt into the ground until he’s nothing but pieces on the rails beneath them. Even his father makes a noise that sounds too close to a laugh.

“Let’s change the subject now, shall we?” Taehyung interrupts. He hopes his voice doesn’t come out as shrill as it seems to his own ears. “Something that doesn’t involve me.”

His father laughs louder, his hands twisting so his palms are facing Taehyung. “Fine. Fine. But it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Both your grandfather and I started college with a mate, and without one, I know there will be situations presented to you that you may wish to explore -”

“Appa,” Taehyung wheezes out. He nearly clasps his hands, willing to beg to get his father to change the subject. “Please, I don’t wish to talk about this any longer.”

Taehyung only waits long enough to see his father nod before he returns to his window. He avoids looking at Jeongguk, but he catches him out of the corner of his eye enough to know that the amusement has thankfully slipped from his face. 

The elders wolves look at the new technology brought to their pack as luxury living. Spoiled wolves the younger generation is called, but Taehyung thinks that’s because they’ve never seen the city past the markets they travel to. Especially inside the apartments that Taehyung feels are unnecessary for him, but his father insists because it’s a show of status. 

He doesn’t even want to step inside because the lobby is sparkling and smells like a cleaner that tickles his nose. His father is listing off different things inside the building, but Taehyung’s attention is taken away by nerves and curiosity of the tall ceiling and light displays that look like raindrops.

Jeongguk beside him is awfully quiet. He doesn’t look like he’s listening, his arms wound tight around his backpack though they straps are around his shoulders. His head jerks a bit when they move, but his eyes are everywhere else like he’s scanning the place for potential threats.

Okay, maybe Taehyung’s attention is taken away by the nerves, lights, and Jeongguk, but that’s simply because Jeongguk is an annoying presence that no one can ignore. Even with the years of practice that Taehyung has trying to ignore Jeongguk in a room full of other wolves, it’s impossible.

“Most of the residents are wolves as your nose will tell you. All under my jurisdiction, so remember how you act. You are a representation of me and our pack.”

If Taehyung didn’t know better, he’d think his father lacked any trust in him whatsoever with how he speaks today. But he does know it’s all precautionary, warning, because his father doesn’t actually know how Taehyung will act while he’s on his own.

And hell, neither does he really.

“An alpha’s duties are never over. Twenty four hours a -”

“Sir, are there staircases?”

Taehyung looks away from the lights above him and back to Jeongguk, whose eyes dart between the elevators across from them and his father. 

“You’re on the top floor,” his father responds, taken aback. He looks at Jeongguk in confusion for a moment before he closes the space between them and cups the back of Jeongguk’s neck. “You aren’t afraid of heights, are you? If I remember correctly, you used to climb up the highest trees when you were a pup. We could never find you.”

Jeongguk is pale. Even more so when his father hits the elevator call button. Taehyung can’t help but nudge up against Jeongguk and offer him one of those tormenting smirks he always gives him.

“You tease me, but I believe a train is a bit scarier than an elevator, no?”

Jeongguk frowns at him. “I’m not afraid.”

“If you were, that’d be okay,” his father interrupts with a pointed look at Taehyung. “But the best way to get over any fear is to force yourself to do it.”

Without pause, his father guides Jeongguk into the elevator the moment the doors open and the occupants inside walk off. If he uses force, Taehyung can’t tell, but he expects that he does with how Jeongguk grits his teeth and the muscles in his neck tense. 

Riding in elevators isn’t fun for him either, but he refuses to make a sound after he teased Jeongguk for it. The movements feel shaky beneath his feet, his stomach swoops uncomfortably, and there is a smell of unfamiliar wolf inside that has the hairs sticking up at the back of his neck. Taehyung assumes the scent belonged to the few people that exited and bowed to his father before they entered the elevator, wolves that he reminds himself are under his father’s jurisdiction, but his defenses always rise at the introduction of a new scent like it’s some kind of natural instinct within him. 

His father is the only one that looks somewhat relaxed, still talking away like he’s unaware of the tension that grows inside the tiny box with each stop. Despite the doors opening and closing, no one else enters though there is room for them. 

It makes the ride feel as if it takes a lifetime. 

Jeongguk is out of the door before it can fully open, but he is back to his calm, annoyingly casual self the moment his feet are on the ground. He strolls down the hallway, looking around curiously as if he’s fascinated with the bare walls and hadn’t just been stinking up the elevator with his nerves. 

“I won’t be too far or too long. Don’t break anything trying to figure out how to use it. Ask me. Your new cell phones should be inside so please, if you leave, bring them with you. I already have your numbers.”

Taehyung had been really excited about getting a cellphone since the last one he had had gotten confiscated, but he doesn’t search for it when he steps inside. Instead, he kicks off his shoes and heads right into exploring to see just how many rooms there are. He needs to get rid of the dread that’s been living inside of his stomach ever since Seokmin joked that his parents would get them a studio apartment.

It isn’t one. There’s a living space with a sizable couch and television, some shelves lining the walls on one side of him and the kitchen on the other. Taehyung crosses between and into a very short hallway that leads him to the bedroom. He doesn’t explore inside of it before he heads out and skips past the kitchen and is relieved to find many more doors.

But one leads to a pantry, another a spacious bathroom. The laundry room is narrow and the last room looks like it may be big enough to be another bedroom, but there is no furniture inside of it like the first and every inch of the walls are lined with shelves like it’s just another large pantry. 

Taehyung circles back, searching for another crevice he might have missed. “Appa, this isn’t the right apartment.”

His father looks up from the phone in his hands, confusion on his face. Jeongguk isn’t with him, but his backpack now resides on the ground by their shoes. “What?”

“There’s only one bedroom. Well, I think. I don’t know what the room down the hall is supposed to be.”

The confusion slips off of his father’s face, and he goes right back to the phone in his hands. “It was last minute, Taehyung. You can take the shelves down, and I’ve already had a cot ordered for Jeongguk -”

Taehyung only gets a half second of relief before Jeongguk emerges from the first bedroom from the sound of his name. His eyes follow off to where his father waves his hand in the direction of the shelf room. 

“There’s no need, sir,” Jeongguk interrupts. He grabs his backpack and plants it on the couch. “I prefer to sleep closer to the entrance.”

Amusement slips across his father’s face, though Taehyung is far from amused. “Like your father, you are. For weeks after you were born, your father slept by your front door. I was offended at the time thinking he didn’t trust the pack.” He claps the back of Jeongguk’s neck again, giving Taehyung his back so he can make a face when a glint appears in Jeongguk’s eyes. “But that’s just how he is. Fight or flight mode on at all times.”

“Mostly fight,” Jeongguk replies with a grin. “You’re already doing so much for me so I can join hyung in university. There’s no need for anything else, Alpha.”

Taehyung sighs. Fine. The couch is still in another room, away from his own. It may be closer, there’s no door, and Taehyung will have to cross paths to use the kitchen or bathroom, but whatever. It isn’t one large open space where Taehyung will have to breathe in Jeongguk at all times.

He can get a door, probably. He’s helped build homes for members of his pack, he can figure it out.

“You’re a good boy, Jeongguk-ah. I am going now, but I will be done in an hour or two. Phones, remember.”

His father cups Taehyung’s cheek after pointing to the cellphones that sit on the kitchen counter that serves as a divider from the rest of the room and leaves after that. Taehyung doesn’t move, feeling a bit awkward with what to do with himself as Jeongguk unzips his backpack and starts removing the things inside.

“Did you want to explore the area?” Jeongguk asks, glancing at him. “Your father said that the shop we used to go to as kids is just around the corner. You know the one with the ice cream?”

Taehyung had tuned that conversation out because it led to memories of Jeongguk stealing bites of his ice cream before offering up his own, letting the cream drip down his fingers until Taehyung gave in and stole a lick. 

Even back then, the two of them were competitive. Arguing about who chose the better ice cream though neither one of them got anything out of it. Jeongguk usually chose the tastier one, but Taehyung never let him win. They were always ridiculously dumb competitions, but Taehyung enjoyed them back then.  

“Since we’re only here a few days, I didn’t bring much with me,” Taehyung admits as he strips off his own small bag. There’s only some clothes and a book inside of it. “Why do you have so much shit?”

Jeongguk looks a bit confused as he looks at the contents he’s pulled out, though the bag looks as if it isn’t empty yet. There’s clothing and books and a few stone carvings, some Taehyung recognizes and some he doesn’t. He pulls out a small box next that he doesn’t open, and then more clothes.

“I figured I’d bring more now then more later,” Jeongguk explains as if it’s obvious. “Was there a closet down there, or should we share the one in the bedroom?”

“We’re not sharing a closet,” Taehyung blurts before he can consciously choose a response. He sounds winded, alarmed, because he is. “There’s a closet down that way.”

Jeongguk hesitates with his hands around his clothing. He too looks alarmed before that amusement slowly creeps across his face like he can tell why that sends a rush of panic through Taehyung, but there’s no possible way he could know.

The reason Taehyung wants a door is to cut off the scent of Jeongguk from getting into his bedroom. He can’t have their scents mixing in the room. No way in Hell.

“I figured you’d prefer to,” Jeongguk murmurs as he straightens to meet Taehyung in the eye. “You could steal my clothes any time.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Why would I want to do that?”

Jeongguk shrugs, and Taehyung thinks the scent of him is already too much in a closed space. It had been a bit of torture on the train and bus, but thankfully, there were so many other scents there that Taehyung could focus on. Here, there’s nothing but Jeongguk. “Well, I mean, you never returned my shirt.”

Crap. Taehyung had (not) forgotten about it. It’s still where he had buried it, though he did move the basket to another room because he could still smell the hint of Jeongguk in his room. A barely there scent, yet it was too much for Taehyung mixing with his own. “Oh - I threw it away. Ripped it during a shift.”

The corner of Jeongguk’s mouth twitches. “You wore it more than once?”

“No,” Taehyung breathes out, offended. “The elder wolves pissed me off that day, so I left the dining hall to go on a run.”

Jeongguk doesn’t look to believe him, but he does go back to piling his clothes so he isn’t looking directly at him. “Well, what did you expect? You know what wearing another wolf’s clothing means.”

When Taehyung was younger, it didn’t mean anything. Pups scent everyone and everything all the time, and it’s okay. No one questions it. Taehyung is quite sure his and Jeongguk and Seokmin’s scents were so intertwined that the other wolves couldn’t tell who was who just by smell.  

“Well, the elders shouldn’t care.”

“Care about what you wear or what it means?”

Taehyung parts his lips a few times, his brows furrowed. “It doesn’t mean anything. Both. Shut up. We aren’t sharing a closet.”

Jeongguk laughs under his breath. “Whatever you say, little alpha. Though, you are more than welcome to help yourself. I did kind of like the smell of me on you again.”

There’s no thought behind it, only alarm. Taehyung’s hands are flying out in front of him before he can stop himself. Just like he had during that last fight, though this time it isn’t as hard and Jeongguk isn’t on top of him. “Insufferable, I said.”

Jeongguk still looks pleased with himself, but he doesn’t make another comment and allows Taehyung to run off to explore his new room in silence. But because he brought little with him, there isn’t much to do inside after he’s put away his clothes and placed his book on the shelf. There’s others there too, textbooks he assumes, and he finds unopened supplies filling the desk along the wall. Taehyung knows he’s getting a computer, but he figures his father is waiting to give it to him so he doesn’t spend the next few days stuck in his room playing his games.

It’s why he’s excited about the phone too. 

At that thought, Taehyung heads out to retrieve it. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything then either where he still stands in the same room, just now in front of a set of shelves that hangs from the wall. He has his little carvings placed on them, and Taehyung may not recognize all of them, but he thinks Jeongguk has put them in order of when he’s made them.

Jeongguk has one in his hand that he gently puts to the side of the others, one that Taehyung recognizes as Seokmin’s.

“You still have that?”

Jeongguk jerks, though he must have been aware of Taehyung’s presence. “Of course I do.”

Taehyung fiddles with the edges of the box holding one of the phones. “Why?”

Offense crosses Jeongguk’s face. “What do you mean? It was a gift.”

“Why would you keep a gift from Seokmin?”

Jeongguk turns, hands on his hips. “Because he’s my friend? For saying he isn’t your intended, you sure are acting like -”

“He isn’t,” Taehyung interrupts. “It’s not that. I’m just surprised.”

They aren’t friends. If they were, Seokmin would stand up for Jeongguk every time Taehyung complained about him, and he only has once recently. Taehyung wouldn’t even consider that as standing up for him, but just a mere comment that Jeongguk isn’t a jerk to him like the other wolves.

“I thought you stopped being friends after -”

Taehyung pauses. He was going to say after they fell out, but he actually doesn’t remember when Jeongguk and Seokmin stopped being around each other. If they were even friends before then or just around each other because of him. He doesn’t know or remember because he doesn’t like to think about then, and Seokmin never talks about it.

“I know you think I’m an asshole, Tae, but I’m not,” Jeongguk grunts, fully offended now. It drips from his mouth like his voice has been marinating in it for hours. “If you remember after the first hunt, your father refused to let you stay with Seokmin? I did. I never judged him for that shit.”

It isn’t wasn’t what Taehyung meant, though the first hunt for their age group was after Taehyung and Jeongguk’s falling out. Seokmin has told him that Jeongguk doesn’t treat him like everyone else does, but Taehyung is surprised to hear Jeongguk missed the first hunt for him and he never knew.

He had been proud and bolstered about catching the biggest kill, and Jeongguk still never said anything about the fact he didn’t join. It would be expected of him to do just that, and Taehyung hadn’t even noticed that he hadn’t. 

“I just meant I didn’t know you two were still friends.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything at first as he adjusts the statue Seokmin made him and takes another that he plants beside it. “We don’t hang out because - it’s not. We’re still friends.” 

Taehyung wants to know what Jeongguk meant to say, but he also doesn’t wish to talk about it any longer. Not with the defensive stance Jeongguk has suddenly put up. One he hates enough that he would take the cocky smile over it. “Fine.”

Jeongguk glances at him then, mouth twitching again. “Is that okay with you, sir ?”

For a moment, Taehyung considers launching the box across the room to hit Jeongguk with it but phones are expensive. “I’m going out. The apartment is getting too stuffy with annoying . I can hardly breathe.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and leaves his decorated shelf. Taehyung doesn’t actually make a move to go anywhere as he still has to take his phone out of the box, so Jeongguk slides up beside him and takes the other one. 

“Your father isn’t here, Tae, you can tell me if you see him as a mate. You know my job isn’t only to protect the alpha, but his mate too. And pups, if you have them.”

Taehyung freezes up, though Jeongguk keeps on opening his box like he hasn’t said anything. It isn’t a conversation he wants to have with Jeongguk at all, ever, and he’s mad because Jeongguk should know that. Out of everyone in the entire pack, Jeongguk should be the last one to ever breach this subject with him. 

“I have no choice but to have them.”

Jeongguk takes the phone from the box, looking over it. He doesn’t react or respond to that, just a tongue pushing out into his cheek so the skin rounds around it. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Suddenly, any excitement Taehyung has for his phone is gone. He doesn’t take it out of the box as Jeongguk turns his own on with a frown on his face. Taehyung keeps his eyes on him, his gaze running over his locked jaw and the vein that bulges down the side of his neck. Like it had been when he entered the elevator, but he doesn’t seem to be as tense overall. He plucks too casually at the phone to be tense.

Taehyung, on the other hand, feels as if his bones are breaking under tons of pressure and he wishes Jeongguk would take a step back. “Some people can just be best friends, Jeongguk.”

It’s a low blow, but it gets Taehyung what he wants. Jeongguk steps back and slides the phone into his pocket without doing anything else on it. He’s quick to give Taehyung his back, returning to the couch to pick up the small box he had taken from his bag. Inside, he retrieves a carved knife that he tucks in the waistband of his jeans. 

“You’ll have to lead the way,” Jeongguk announces. “I don’t remember my way around.”

There’s air stuck in Taehyung’s lungs, and he tries his best to get it out with a slow exhale that he hopes doesn’t sound as loud as it does to him. He quickly takes his phone out and puts it in his pocket as well, because he had been exaggerating earlier about not being able to breathe but now he really can’t and he’s desperate to be outside. 

“And don’t try and ditch me,” Jeongguk warns. “You have a potent scent, little alpha. I can find it in my sleep.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and side steps Jeongguk to get his shoes. “Whatever, come on then.”

Like with the train, it takes Taehyung a few moments to adjust. To the smells, the people, the noise. It’s easier to do because Taehyung is more familiar with this aspect of the city, but it would be even easier if Jeongguk weren’t with him.

Jeongguk refuses to stand beside him, taking up the rear so he can constantly touch Taehyung’s back even though it’s never necessary. When others pass by, when a bus pulls up beside where they are walking. They’re probably attracting every wolf in the city with how strong Jeongguk’s scent flares up, making it so being outside is pointless when it comes to trying to escape it.

It puts Taehyung on edge, like there’s a threat that he can’t see, and no amount of reminding himself that it’s just Jeongguk taking his job way too seriously can calm him down.

“Will you stop? That baby is not going to maul me.”

Jeongguk has his hand on his back again when Taehyung moves to slide into the booth. They chose a shop that doesn’t seem too busy, or is large enough that it doesn’t seem crowded, and the person closest to them is a woman with a child that can’t even be a year yet.

“You never know. Soonyoung’s mother said he came out fists up, ready to fight.”

Amusement bubbles up inside of Taehyung at that, and he wipes his hand over his mouth to hide his smile. “Just relax, would you? You’re stressing me out.”

“Sorry,” Jeongguk grumbles. He slides into the seat across from him and plants his ice cream on the table. “Between my father and yours, they made me feel like I’d be fighting for your life every moment here. I’m on edge.”

Taehyung laughs quietly. “While we’re here, do your own thing. Don’t worry about what they told you to do. I don’t care if we never see each other. If our parents come around, we’ll act like we’re constantly together.”

Jeongguk frowns as he delivers the spoonful to his mouth despite the fact that he goes on to talk. “No way.”

“They’ll never know,” Taehyung tries. If he sounds desperate, Jeongguk may use that against him and never leave his side, but Taehyung still feels willing to risk it for the alternative. “And even if they did, you wouldn’t get in trouble. You’ll probably just get lectured, so go out and do whatever you want to do. I don’t need protection from anyone or anything.”

Jeongguk’s lips curl upwards. “No. Not even urges?”

Taehyung pretends to flick his ice cream at him. “Shut up. I can’t believe you happily agreed to be a cock block. That’s so shameful.”

There’s no shame on Jeongguk’s face whatsoever when he shrugs and takes another bite. “I thought you had no interest in that.”

“I - I don’t.” Shit. It hasn’t even been an hour and they’re here again. Taehyung is going to hop over the counter and hide himself in the large container of ice cream behind it. “Exploring sexually and mating are two different things.”

“Is that your plan?”

Heat blossoms across Taehyung’s chest, and he reaches up to close the buttons of his shirt so Jeongguk won’t see. “No. I don’t have a plan for anything. I just mean if the opportunity presents itself, there’s nothing cool about being a cock block.”

Jeongguk laughs, head shaking. “I wouldn’t even have to try. Someone will get three seconds into a conversation with you and back out.”

“Oh, shut up,” Taehyung grunts. “I could get laid easily if I wanted to.”

Jeongguk raises a brow at that, his lips wrapped tightly around his spoon. His cheeks hollow out as he sucks the cream off it before he says, “Is that so?”

They need to get out of this conversation and avoid falling into it again, but Taehyung’s need to challenge Jeongguk is flaring up. Well, something is flaring up inside of him that is giving him a bad taste in his mouth that not even the sweet ice cream can get rid of. “Better than you can, yeah.”

Self sabotage and Taehyung should be synonymous, he thinks as Jeongguk laughs sarcastically.

“Whatever you say,” Jeongguk says, head tilting to the side. He sighs dramatically, the sound of it loud with humor. “You’re a bit too full of yourself for someone who hasn’t ever kissed anyone.”

Taehyung jerks at that, glaring hard at Jeongguk. “Yes, I have.”

Technically, he hasn’t, but Jeongguk doesn’t know that yet he says it like it’s a fact that he knows well. If he counted the one kiss he did have, he could argue it with Jeongguk but Taehyung would rather throw himself into traffic than ever even get near that conversation with Jeongguk. 

Hell, he doesn’t even want it to slip into just his mind again. He actually thinks it might be easier to have this conversation with his parents, who can never know about it, than Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk’s face crumples. “Who?” 

“None of your business.”

The smile returns so quickly that Taehyung groans. He doesn’t even stop Jeongguk when he reaches out and swaps their containers. “There’s no shame in it, Alpha. I only mention it to say you shouldn’t have so much confidence.”

Taehyung doesn’t, in truth. He avoids those who come on to him or always politely backs out of the conversation because his status makes wolves wish to mate with him. If he’s been hit on for something other than that, he never gave it the chance to find out.

And everyone who has openly flirted with him hasn't been his type. Now, if he meets someone who is, Taehyung will never be able to approach them first. He knows it in his gut, which twists at the mere idea of it. 

“And you should?”

Jeongguk steals a bite of his ice cream, head tilting side to side as if in contemplation. “Mm. Mine’s better,” he says, though he proceeds to take another bite. “And I never said anything about me.”

In honesty, Taehyung does not, at all , want to know if Jeongguk has kissed another wolf. He is ready to shove his spoon back into Jeongguk’s mouth when he opens it because he doesn’t even want to hear if Jeongguk is interested in that kind of stuff. 

“I’m just confident by nature.”

Taehyung relaxes and shoves the spoon into Jeongguk’s ice cream instead. It does taste better than his, but he only gets one bite in before Jeongguk swaps them back. “Yeah, and it’s annoying.”

“Keep calling me that,” Jeongguk warns, his spoon pointing at Taehyung again, “And I’ll cock block you like that’s the one most important order I’ve been given.”

He sounds threatening, but that glint is there, ruining any seriousness behind it. However, Taehyung wouldn’t put it past Jeongguk to do just that. He loves making Taehyung’s life hell, and even if he isn’t interested enough to actively look into those kinds of things, he doesn’t want Jeongguk there if it were to happen.

“I’m going to run away from you and call my father to tell him you’ve abandoned me,” Taehyung threatens back, though it feels much weaker. Jeongguk even smiles like he thinks so too.

“He’ll never believe you.”

Taehyung crosses his arms, feeling that childish tantrum inside of him again that has his lips pushing out in displeasure because Jeongguk is right. “You’re making me regret ever asking my mother for a companion.”

The look on Jeongguk’s face then can only be described as mocked perplexity, and Taehyung wishes to kick him under the table. He tells Taehyung not to call him annoying when he goes out of his way to be. “Really? I don’t get why. I’m having a blast.”

Taehyung looks up at the ceiling and doesn’t even try to hide his groan from Jeongguk’s ears. 

“And since you asked for one, I will be by your side,” Jeongguk goes on, ignoring him. “Why did you anyway? Ask for a companion?”

Taehyung looks down as Jeongguk slowly drags the spoon over his tongue. There’s an inquisitive look on his face, one that seems genuine enough but Taehyung doesn’t wish to give him even more to use against him. 

“I wanted Seokmin to come with me, not just anyone.”

Jeongguk hums thoughtfully around another bite, this time actually putting his spoon into his mouth like a wolf with manners. “Tell me in truth, Taehyung. Do you really hate that your parents asked me to be your companion?”

The easy answer is yes, Taehyung does, but as soon as the words come to his tongue, he doesn’t want to let them go. They don’t sound exactly true even if they are true enough to answer his question. They could end the conversation there, it wouldn’t matter if there’s other things that make the answer complicated because it shouldn’t. Taehyung doesn’t want Jeongguk here with him, around him, clogging up his nose all of the time. 

But at the same time, if he says yes, and the conversation doesn’t end and Jeongguk tries to ask more questions as to why, Taehyung would much rather avoid that. 

There were a few times, long ago, that Taehyung wanted to talk about it, when he thought Jeongguk approached him to do so. But they both avoided, said things that, in Taehyung’s case, he hadn’t intended to say. He didn’t want to say, but the words came out of his mouth anyway.

And with time comes change, but that’s one thing that hasn’t. 

“Eat your ice cream, Jeongguk, and stop growling at babies that look my way and we’ll see.”

While Taehyung wished to venture out of the apartment because he felt like he was suffocating inside of it, returning to it fills him with a sense of relief. Especially in his legs once he sits because Jeongguk had insisted on taking the stairs and Taehyung had been too uneasy to be in the elevator by himself. Both the elevator and the potential to be stuck with someone else while alone was enough to have Taehyung trucking up the stairs behind him. 

If Jeongguk minds that Taehyung falls onto the couch that he’s claimed as his living space as soon as they’ve returned, he doesn’t act it. He only briefly looks Taehyung’s way before he twists down the hall, pulling the sweaty shirt from his back as he goes. 

Taehyung hears a door close a moment later, and he lets himself sink even further into the couch. Even if he is only alone for a few minutes, he wants to take advantage of it, though he could go into his room and have as many alone moments as he wants. 

He only gets a few, but it isn’t Jeongguk that interrupts him. It’s the hint of another wolf touching his nose before there’s a quiet knock at their front door that yanks Taehyung from the couch. 

Taehyung hesitates for a moment, bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he contemplates whether to answer it or not. He can’t be anti-social. Any wolf that’s on this floor should already know there’s new neighbors, and Taehyung wouldn’t be surprised if his father went out of his way to make it known to any other wolf in the building that he would be living amongst them as well. He just doesn’t know if he wants to deal with it right now . 

Another knock comes, and Taehyung forces himself up. Perhaps he can handle introductions and pleasantries and the wolf will go away. Maybe they’ve brought something as a welcome gift, hopefully food, because Taehyung does not wish to make anything for himself right now. That’s the one thought that guides Taehyung into opening the door. 

That, and even if another wolf’s presence would put Jeongguk on edge, it would keep him from saying anything annoying like he has been all day.

As soon as the door opens, Taehyung is hit with the even stronger scent of a wolf. He doesn’t get a face as the wolf before him immediately bows and presents a basket of pears in his hands.

“Park Jimin,” the wolf says as he bounces back up, flashing him a smile full of teeth. He pushes the basket toward Taehyung, forcing him to release the death grip he had on his door frame. “Eldest son of Park Joo-ro.”

“Alpha,” Taehyung greets, the word leaving his lips like a breath. He’s surprised he can even get that out as he’s feeling a little breathless. Park Jimin is pretty, and Taehyung is quite sure there is sunshine bursting out of every pore in his face. “Kim Taehyung, only -”

“Oh, I know,” Jimin interrupts. He assures Taehyung has the basket before he sidesteps him and pushes inside, startling him further. “I only got the bomb ass apartment that I did because of you.”

Taehyung feels like his mouth is hanging open as he turns and watches Jimin shuck off his shoes and stroll inside. He looks around like he’s assessing whether Taehyung’s apartment is better, and it isn’t until his eyes meet Taehyung’s again that he unsticks himself from the doorway and closes the door behind him.

“Excuse me?”

Jimin waves his hand around. “My pack has been fiercely loyal to yours for centuries now. Your father arranged for me to have an apartment next door, though -” He paces over to the window, grimacing as he looks down, “- I don’t think wolves are supposed to be this high.”

The look on his face is so disgruntled that Taehyung smiles. He has met Jimin’s father a handful of times, but has only heard of his sons. “Well, I suppose you are welcome, though I wouldn’t be surprised if my father gave you a list of requirements in exchange for the apartment, no?”

The lack of an alarmed Jeongguk has Taehyung assuming he’s in the shower, though when Jimin glances down the hall, he’s afraid Jeongguk will appear at any moment. “‘Course he did. That is why I am here, introducing myself and swearing my loyalty face to face. I hope it isn’t an inappropriate time, your father said you would be here alone -”

A sigh leaves Taehyung’s mouth the moment he hears the low grumble of warning. He doesn’t say anything, planting the basket on the kitchen divider as he waits for Jeongguk to come charging into the room. It only takes seconds before he’s there, fumbling with his pants like he had caught wind of Jimin in the middle of dressing himself. He straightens and broadens, everything about him threatening save for the hands that move around the ties of his pants. 

“Park Jimin,” Taehyung introduces for their guest because he can sense a louder snarl coming from Jeongguk. “Son of Park Joo-ro. Of Busan, right?”

Jimin nods, his lips folding into each other as the corners start to lift. “Is this wild look on your face because you are a second hand or a lover?”

Taehyung had considered tasting one of the pears to keep himself busy so his eyes won’t wander anywhere, but he is thankful he hadn’t now. A sound gets stuck in his throat, choking him at the suggestion. He would have never been able to get the fruit down, and he doesn’t want to ruin his first experience trying them because they do look absolutely delicious. 

“Jeon Jeongguk,” is all Jeongguk responds with. He sounds on edge, though his body relaxes. Taehyung doesn’t miss how he purposefully plants himself between the two of them. “My mother is from your pack. Park Boyoung.”

It seems impossible, but Jimin lightens up even more. He lurches across the space between them, causing Jeongguk to jerk forward like he’s being attacked, but Jimin only claps Jeongguk on the back and practically pulls him into a hug.

“It is fantastic to meet you. The elders speak of you as if you’re a myth, it isn’t often one of ours mates with someone from another pack. A Jeon, especially.”

Shit. Taehyung freezes over his pears before he forces himself to intervene. He doesn’t have to look at Jeongguk to know the tension has returned. They may have not spoken in such a long time, but Taehyung knows the shame Jeongguk’s grandfather has brought to their name and that a lot of his ass kissing has to do with freeing himself from it.

“It is nice to meet you as well,” Taehyung says. It’s him this time that slips a hand over Jeongguk’s back, which is surprisingly warm and still damp from the shower. “And it’s second hand, by the way. Not - not the other.”

He can’t even say the word in regards to Jeongguk. He wants to roll his eyes at himself because between that and the warmth creeping up his cheeks, Jimin could take him as a liar.  

And once Jimin is gone, Taehyung is sure Jeongguk will have plenty of teasing comments about it. 

“Zero judgment,” Jimin says, waving his hands in front of himself as he steps back. “While your father instructed me to keep an eye out for you, he didn’t ask me to report back to him. Nor would I. It’s one of the reasons I stopped by as well. I’m sure your father gave you a speech about how to present yourself, but I wanted to tell you not to worry about that with me. Nor my mate. He very much sticks to himself, and is probably the least nosiest person I’ve ever met. It’s so infuriating.”

The heat in Taehyung’s cheeks stretches up into his ears. He doesn’t realize he still has his hand on Jeongguk until he shifts and their proximity causes Jeongguk’s arm and shoulder to press into him. His normal scent is mixed in with something, probably soap but Taehyung can’t tell exactly what it is. It just makes his natural scent even better, and it's only a nanosecond that a thought about pressing his nose into Jeongguk’s shoulder crosses his mind but it’s enough to rip himself away.

“Which, I am nosy,” Jimin admits with a laugh. “Not in the way that I’ll be sniffing around and trying to listen in or anything, I just ask a lot of questions. Sometimes, too personal ones according to him.”

Taehyung slips his hand away from Jeongguk and shoves his fist into his pocket. He doesn’t know how to respond as Jimin rambles, but he worries he’s making a face or his silence will come off as something other than it is. 

“And I ramble, obviously.” Jimin plants his hand to his forehead, brushing his bangs upwards. “Namjoon is here with me, in the city. You’ll meet him eventually.”

Taehyung licks over his lips before he parts them, but the first question in his mind isn’t one he can ask. It’s distracting though, making it difficult for him to respond with something more appropriate. Like inquiring more about Jimin’s pack and if they allow more than just the future alphas to attend university unlike his own. 

“There are quite a few of you, no? Your pack has less restrictions than ours,” Jeongguk speaks up, filling in the silence that Jimin creates for a response. “In ours, it is only the alpha that is to attend university. Me being here is a special circumstance.”

For a moment, Taehyung is thankful for Jeongguk, but as always, that feeling is quickly drowned by Jeongguk’s stupid grin.

“Taehyung here could not be without me.”

If Jimin weren’t standing in front of them, Taehyung would knock Jeongguk to the ground. He would adamantly deny that without hesitation, but he can’t do that in front of another wolf. Especially a stranger. They’re supposed to look like a united front to all, not just his parents.

“Mm,” Taehyung manages, but even that small sound takes a lot of force. “I believe any wolf that wishes to go should be able to.”

Jimin’s eyebrows shoot up and he closes that space again, but this time to clap Taehyung on the back. “I mean no disrespect when I say this, but seeing how hard your grandfather pushed for wolves to be able to attend university, I’m surprised your pack is one of the few that restrict wolves from going.”

It isn’t disrespectful, however the heat does remain in Taehyung’s ears. “I agree with you. Is Namjoon your second hand as well?”

“Oh, of course not.” Jimin returns to looking around the apartment, eyes stretching over Jeongguk’s wall of carvings. “I think that’s one law we’ll never see change amongst any pack. My second is Kim Seokjin. You will meet him as well, I’m sure. He’s my nosy partner. Did you make these?”

The light in Jimin’s eyes is softer as he indicates one of the carvings like he knows better than to touch them. Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk is still bothered as he still seems a bit stiff, even when he nods.

“They’re amazing,” Jimin whispers. “Namjoon likes to make things like this too. He found a club for it, if you’re interested in joining.”

Jeongguk does perk up at that. “I would be. But I cannot leave Taehyung’s side, and he used to whine a lot when I would focus more on carving than him.”

Alarm rings in Taehyung’s head. He thought with Jimin being here, Jeongguk would watch his mouth more, but he’s being proven wrong every time Jeongguk fricking speaks. 

Despite what he said earlier, Jimin does look a little judgmental with how his nose wrinkles. “Oh no, you’re one of those seconds? As an alpha, let me tell you, that is obnoxious. Let us breathe.”

Taehyung decides he really likes Jimin. He plants his hands to his hips, nodding though Jeongguk doesn’t look at him at all. He keeps his eyes on Jimin, and while he doesn’t look as defensive as he had before, he isn’t quite his fully relaxed self. 

“You don’t want your alpha to come off as incompetent either,” Jimin warns, wiggling a finger towards Jeongguk. “If he constantly has someone ready to attack on his behalf, up his ass growling at everything, it may cause others to think he can’t take care of himself.”

In this moment, Taehyung realizes the only alphas he has interacted with are his own father and a few from other packs. But none his age, who he can speak to about things. About this. He wants to shake his hands through the air because of the strong yes that surges through him. 

“I don’t growl.”

Jimin hiccups out a giggle, and Taehyung nearly does too with how purely offended Jeongguk seems. Arms crossed over his chest, tone dripping with it despite the fact that he most definitely growls. Taehyung has heard him do so a thousand times over.

“You literally growled when you realized I was here,” Jimin points out. He shakes his head, hand waving. “Either way, take my advice, Jeon, or I might have to kidnap your alpha here to give him a break from you.”

Proving his point, a low rumble sounds from Jeongguk’s throat as his shoulders broaden again. It only makes Jimin laugh, head throwing back. Taehyung sighs internally at himself again because he thought Jeongguk would only take this guard thing seriously to hold over him, but right now, he looks like he means it.

When they were younger, Taehyung wasn’t sure. There were moments, despite them no longer being friends, that Jeongguk would put up this same front. And that’s what he thought it was, just Jeongguk doing what he was supposed to do. But there were moments, here and there, Taehyung wondered if it was more than that. That it was genuine and out of care rather than expectation. Those feelings have died over the years, but he hates how suddenly he’s reminded of it. 

“I’m kidding,” Jimin insists, but he holds up a hand that barely hides his face to mouth, “I’m not,” at Taehyung. “Let me take my leave before the vein in your neck comes popping out. Alpha, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am here if there is anything you need.”

Jimin slides his own forearm over Taehyung’s, embracing him gently. Closer, Taehyung realizes that Jimin’s scent isn’t just one, but a mix of scents. They’re just so well mixed that Taehyung hadn’t noticed until now.

“And you as well. Anything you need.”

He expects Jeongguk to relax the moment Jimin walks out, but he doesn’t. His jaw remains locked as he sits on the couch, elbows perched to his thighs before he drags his hands roughly through his still soaked hair.

It confuses Taehyung, though there’s a whisper in the back of his mind that it isn’t to do with anything about unfamiliar wolves and the need to protect. He shakes the thought out, not wanting to deal with it himself. He’s more exhausted than ever and wants nothing more than to go and hide away in his room.

Before he can disappear though, Jeongguk lets out a rough, grumbled, “The shower is nice if you want to try it. You reek.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes, his middle finger coming up to greet Jeongguk. He disappears into his room instead, ignoring the fact that Jeongguk is right and he should probably clean the sweat and city off of himself. 

Despite exhaustion, Taehyung doesn’t sleep much. He’s restless for most of the night, dozing off here and there. Every tiny noise is enough to distract him from slumber, especially the new ones from outside and within the apartment.

Jeongguk is more restless than him. Taehyung can hear him pacing, humming so often that at one point, he thinks Jeongguk is doing it purposefully to keep him awake. But he pushes that thought out because surely Jeongguk can’t know that he is as aware of his presence as he is.

When morning comes, Taehyung is still tired. He tries to stay in bed a little longer, but after tossing and turning all night, he’s had enough. He quietly walks out in case Jeongguk is asleep, but as soon as he does, Jeongguk jerks up into a sitting position.

It’s a bit amusing how he lets out a mix of a growl and grunt when he does. His eyes are unfocused like he had just been sleeping but alarmed into his current position. As soon as he sees Taehyung, he falls back onto the couch and lets his eyes close.

While the wolves have kept up to date with a lot of current things, including kitchen appliances, there’s still a lot that Taehyung is unsure about. Different machines he doesn’t recognize hidden away in the cupboards or taking up space on the kitchen counter. He heeds his father’s warning about not touching anything he doesn’t know how to use and instead searches for something he knows how to cook.

As much as he doesn’t want to, he knows his father is going to insist on him going to the doctors with Jeongguk. The only thing that encourages him is seeing Jeongguk’s pride knocked down a notch because he hadn’t been lying about how badly his shots hurt, but because he knows that pain, he doesn’t find it as enjoyable as he normally would. 

“Do you know how to cook anything?”

Taehyung removes his head from where it’s buried in the refrigerator as he pulls open every drawer to see what is inside. His father bought way too much food for their short visit. “Why would you ask that?”

Despite all the moving around throughout the night, Jeongguk looks like he slept hard. His hair is a mess, his eyes droopy, and there’s red marks on his face like he had slept on his hands. “Because I’ve never seen you cook.”

For some reason, offense rises up inside of Taehyung. He closes the refrigerator, arms crossing over his chest. “I know how to cook.” 

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and steps closer to lean against the fridge. “Fine. Cook breakfast.”

Taehyung scoffs. “You’re my babysitter, I’m not yours. You cook.”

Jeongguk grins, but it’s less annoying when his expression is still heavy with sleep. “There’s no shame in not knowing. We have cooks in our pack for a reason.”

Annoyance fills up the space inside of Taehyung besides anyway. He walks off determinedly towards the pantry in search of something he knows he can make. He hasn’t actually had a hand in preparing meals for the pack before, only hunting and distributing, but whatever. He can figure it out.

He’s so annoyed that Taehyung barely notices that his father has arrived by the time he’s emerged from the pantry with an arm full of supplies. He only offers him a small greeting, ignoring the surprised and confused look on his face, before he dumps everything onto the kitchen counter.

“We met the neighbor yesterday,” Jeongguk says. His eyes are focused now, his expression much brighter and far too entertained for Taehyung’s liking. “You said you have full trust in Park Joo-ro’s pack?”

Taehyung’s father hums, but he sounds hesitant when he speaks. “Yes. He allows his pack to stray a bit away from our way, but he is a good, loyal man. Taehyung, what are you doing?”

Whipping his head away from his work, Taehyung takes in his father’s confused expression and what the hell. He has cooked before. He doesn’t understand why his father looks at him as if he’s doing something out of the ordinary. Even if he hadn’t cooked before, he helps often enough in the dining hall that he’s probably picked up something. 

“I’m making breakfast.”

“‘Stray from our way,’” Jeongguk repeats as his father opens and closes his mouth a few times like he’s truly bewildered by the scene before him. “What do you mean?”

“I suppose that isn’t the right thing to say. He maintains order differently I guess. Leads his pack differently than most. He isn’t as concerned with tradition as most wolves.”

Taehyung moves towards the burner, finger tracing over the different buttons. Admittedly, he has not used one of these before. Only some wolves have them back home, while most wolves stick to the large grills in the kitchen or the fire pits. 

Jeongguk curls around him, chest brushing his arm unnecessarily as he twists the button that Taehyung was going to turn first. He bites back any comment because he knows it will come out with an animosity he doesn’t want his father to hear, and the pleased look on Jeongguk’s face must be because he knows that.

“Other packs have plenty of things to say under whispered breaths about Jimin taking over after his father, but I hope you do not entertain them. From what I know, he is a strong leader. And he is under my - our - protection. A leader must return the loyalty he is given.”

Taehyung hesitates with his hand over the button, and this time, Jeongguk doesn’t help him. His father could mean anything because he barely knows Jimin, but one thing he does know about Jimin is one thing many elder wolves like to talk about under whispered breaths. And sometimes very loudly.

“You spent the last twenty years raising me to be an alpha. Do you distrust yourself?” Taehyung asks, stepping aside after he turns the burner back off because he hasn’t even prepped any food to cook. Which has nothing to do with him being stuck on what to do, but he’s distracted. He could barely process what his father was saying about the Busan wolves before Jeongguk was crowding up against him, getting too close and distracting him even further. “You’ve been lecturing me since we left home.”

His father laughs weakly. “Nervous about you going out on your own, but not because of distrust. Of myself or you. Your mother tells me I have a tendency to turn everything into a lecture. I don’t mean to.” 

It’s an understatement. Taehyung only smiles to let his father know he agrees. “He was very friendly. He brought those pears there. Help yourself, and Jeongguk, do something useful, would you? I saw mushrooms in the fridge.”

Surprisingly, Jeongguk helps without comment and even cleans and cuts the mushrooms without being asked. But he does hover when Taehyung starts on the eggs, and it isn’t the heat from the burner that makes sweat build against his throat. Jeongguk has a tendency to get close like he’s never learned personal space, but he knows better when his father’s around. Yet his father is leaning on the kitchen divider, eyes on them and Jeongguk keeps getting close and hovering a hand over his back for no reason. 

“I will,” his father says, one hand reaching into the basket as the other pulls his phone from his pocket. Taehyung hates that about the city, how distracted his father is with that device though right now, he’s desperate for it. There’s a curse stuck in his throat, and he needs to let it out. “One moment.” 

Taehyung lets out a long exhale, focusing on which utensil to use for the eggs to distract his thoughts from wandering. Over the years, he’s become a bit of a master at that. In most things when it comes to his parents. 

Other things, however, are harder to distract himself from. 

“Here, move,” Jeongguk whispers, his tone as gentle as the hands he plants to the back of Taehyung’s arms to guide him aside. “I’ll cook the eggs.”

It isn’t said with Jeongguk’s normal voice. He isn’t judging or making fun, simply making a statement. Nor is the touch a demanding one. It just is, and Taehyung steps aside despite that stubbornness inside of him that wants to prove to Jeongguk that he knows what he’s doing. He was thankful his father walked away so he could snap at Jeongguk to step back, but there’s something in Jeongguk’s expression and movements that has the words dying in his throat. 

“I can do it.”

“Sure, sure. But I’m hungry and I don’t want to wait for you to burn through every egg we have before I can.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “And so what if I can’t cook eggs? I can cook plenty of other things.”

The corners of Jeongguk’s mouth twitch. “Yes, Alpha.”

Taehyung grits his teeth, his fingers curling tightly around the knife Jeongguk pulled out to start cutting the mushrooms. “Yes, I am your alpha. Show me some respect.”

Jeongguk does a double take towards the knife before his mouth forms into a smile that can only be described as wolfish. He nudges his chin towards him. “Are you threatening me with a knife, little alpha?”

The answer is no, but Taehyung wiggles it towards him. “And what if I am?”

Jeongguk laughs loud enough to grab the attention of his father, though Taehyung supposes that’s a good thing if he thinks they’re laughing and joking around with each other. But any laughter inside of Taehyung also dies when Jeongguk circles his fingers around his wrist and plants his hand and knife to the counter.

It brings their bodies close again. Even pressing himself against the counter, Jeongguk is only a breath away, and this time, Taehyung forgets that he’s supposed to snap at him to step back. 

“You’re stronger than me,” Jeongguk murmurs. “You wouldn’t need a weapon.”

Taehyung’s heart thumps into his throat. “We haven’t fought in years. You don’t know that.”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows slowly scrunch together. “This feels like you’re complimenting me.”

A scoff rips from Taehyung’s throat, and he plants a hand to Jeongguk’s chest to push him back but he doesn’t actually use any force. “No, I’m just saying we haven’t.”

Jeongguk cocks his head. “Did you want to? This apartment is a bit too small to shift inside.”

Flames lick up Taehyung’s throat. That’s not what he’s suggesting. He doesn’t know what he meant at all. It was just a response that he could come up and nothing more because he couldn’t breathe but that response led to even less oxygen around him.

“Maybe I could take you now,” Jeongguk says as he releases Taehyung and takes a step back. He turns back to the eggs, and Taehyung doesn’t move. “But I would let you win either way.”

That comment annoys Taehyung enough to open up his airways and let the oxygen in. “My pride wouldn’t be hurt if you beat me. It would just encourage me to build my strength even more.”

Jeongguk gives him a pointed look. “You’re saying if I was able to pin you down, with my teeth on your throat, that wouldn’t hurt your pride?”

Crap. Taehyung mentally wills away the image that forces itself into his mind, but that’s one thing he hasn’t been able to master ignoring: Jeongguk related thoughts. “No. It’d piss me off though.”

Jeongguk smiles. “I thought so.” 

“Because I know how much you’d enjoy that.”

Jeongguk visibly stiffens with his hands in the air over the burner, a cracked shell between his fingers. Taehyung can’t help but hesitate too because Jeongguk’s face darkens as if he’s embarrassed or ashamed.

It isn’t the reaction that Taehyung was expecting. Pinning him down would only mean he was stronger, and Jeongguk is competitive so he expects something cocky. Not something like shame.

“No.” Jeongguk clears his throat. “I have to be extra careful not to seem like I’m ever trying to overthrow you, Taehyung. I wouldn’t enjoy overpowering you. You saw, just yesterday. The legend of the great betrayer Jeon has spread across packs.”

“Oh.” Taehyung frowns, arms crossing over his chest. Jeongguk says it sarcastically, unbothered, but Taehyung knows better. “No. I didn’t mean you would enjoy it for that reason.”

The way Jeongguk whips his head to look at him is so fast and aggressive that Taehyung worries for the muscles in his neck. It’s another reaction that throws Taehyung off. “What the hell did you mean?”

Taehyung hesitates, unsure as to why Jeongguk looks as if he’s saying something wild when they’ve both talked about how much Jeongguk likes to win.

“What did you think I meant?”

He’s embarrassed. It’s not something he’s seen on Jeongguk in so long, but Taehyung recognizes it from when they were younger. Even if that Jeongguk seems like a completely different person than the one standing before him, he knew that Jeongguk well.

And he got embarrassed often enough that Taehyung could draw the face he made just from memory. He used to think it cute, squishing Jeongguk’s cheeks between his hands when he pretended to complain that he didn’t like the tending to or was actually complaining about whatever embarrassed him. So cute that there were often times Taehyung wanted to quiet Jeongguk with his own mouth even when he didn’t really understand anything about that or that kind of urge or why it would be something he’d think to do in the first place. 

“I - nothing.”

Jeongguk quickly turns back to the eggs, cussing under his breath as he grabs the flat utensil to scrape beneath it. Taehyung’s curiosity has him wanting to force a response out of Jeongguk, but he too turns back to his task at hand when his father’s feet echo through the apartment, announcing his return to the kitchen. 

“I wish they never invented these things. Never a moment of peace, I tell you.” 

For a moment, Taehyung inhales slowly and focuses on the mushrooms before responding. “You could just, like, not answer it. Perhaps even turn it off.”

His father hums in contemplation. “I will get my freedom from this when you take over, my boy. Just remember to find balance. When you have a family - ah shit, I really do turn everything into a lecture.”

Surprise causes Taehyung’s laugh to burst out of him suddenly. He tries to shove it back inside, lips pressing together with his shoulders shaking but he selfishly enjoys how much it breaks the tension inside of his body despite laughing at his father’s expense.

“Hey, don’t laugh. You will see when you have a pup of your own,” his father scolds, but he too sounds amused. He comes over, gently pushing Taehyung’s head in playful punishment.

The laughter in Taehyung subsides, but thankfully he doesn’t have to muster up a response or a groan when Jeongguk speaks.

“Have a seat. The eggs are ready,” Jeongguk says, and Taehyung may not actually know how to cook but he doesn’t think they’re finished already. He looks curiously over Jeongguk’s profile, but there’s nothing on his face as he reaches the cabinets overhead to look inside of them. “This might be all we have as hyung is never going to finish chopping those mushrooms.”

For once, Taehyung isn’t ruffled the way he normally is with Jeongguk but with himself. He wishes to be thankful that Jeongguk changed the subject, but instead he’s wondering if it was purposeful on Jeongguk’s part and that’s more annoying than anything Jeongguk could say. 

Maybe Taehyung was wrong. He doesn’t think anything is more annoying than Jeongguk as he watches him get his vaccines with a blank expression on his face. He doesn’t even flinch, doesn’t clench his fingers. He takes it like the nurse is simply rubbing his skin rather than piercing it.

Taehyung isn’t the kind of person that enjoys seeing someone in pain, not even someone he strongly dislikes, but he knows Jeongguk isn’t reacting to prove a point. To make another comment about how Taehyung can’t even handle a needle or something. He knows it. 

When they’re finished, Jeongguk hops to his feet, shoulders shaking out. “That wasn’t so bad. I’m hungry now, though.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “We just have to stop at the desk, and then you’re free to do whatever you want. I want to go shopping and get something for Seokmin.”

Jeongguk’s face crumples. “I’m going with you.”

“Alpha Jimin was right, you know,” Taehyung says, keeping his voice low out of habit. “It is unbearable when a second doesn’t let their alpha breathe.”

The frown on Jeongguk’s face only grows. “Jimin also said an alpha can’t be with their second in command, but I bet you that he is.”

Taehyung had intended to open the door and walk out, but his feet do not move. He mimics the expression on Jeongguk’s face, though the frown has changed into something more casual as he grabs his backpack. “You have no way to know that.”

“He was scented twice. Has the city messed with that nose of yours, little alpha?”

Taehyung never thought ‘blubbering’ was a thing people actually do until now, as his mind tries to process Jeongguk’s logic here but it takes too much of his brain power that he cannot speak at the same time. “I - you have no way to know that was -”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk complains, curling his fingers around his forearm to tug him gently towards the door. “I wouldn’t be so hungry if you actually helped cook. Let’s get something to eat then shop.”

Taehyung lowers his voice as the door opens. “Jeongguk, you can’t just say that. You know, even just a rumor could be damaging.”

“I’m only saying it to you .” Jeongguk sighs, his fingers slipping down Taehyung’s arm before letting go completely once they’re out of the room. “I’m more than well aware of the possible damage, Taehyung. You don’t have to remind me of all people.”

That shuts Taehyung up. It isn’t said with any animosity, maybe just a smidge of annoyance, but Taehyung also thinks he’s looking too hard to find something other than unbothered in Jeongguk’s tone. “I just don’t get why you would suggest that when Jimin said himself -”

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Jeongguk interrupts, glancing at him with an arched brow. “It’s none of my business either way. My point is we’re sticking together. That’s final.”

Taehyung holds back his scoff, though it rattles through his body as they finish up at the doctor’s. So much so that he’s surprised he actually manages to hold it in until they’re outside.

“‘That’s final?’ You have no right ordering me around.”

He catches Jeongguk touching over his bandaged arm, but he quickly slips his hands into his pockets when Taehyung turns to him. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not ordering you around. I’m simply saying that I'm going where you go and if I drop dead of hunger that’s on you.”

Taehyung wants to storm off in an opposite direction, but he knows Jeongguk will just follow after him. “Fine, but we’re sitting separate from each other. Be one of those guards that sits quiet and discreet in the corner of the room or something.”

Jeongguk gives him a wild look, but Taehyung does take off then so he doesn’t have to see it. 

“And what if your father comes in? Or another wolf?” Jeongguk calls after him. “I don’t fully believe Jimin when he said he wasn’t there to report back to your father, either.”

If there weren’t other people around them, Taehyung would throw his hands up in the air. But he doesn’t want the attention, so he shoves his fists into his pockets instead. “Would it matter? I’m sure you are.”

He has no idea. He hasn’t actually contemplated that until now because there’s nothing really for Jeongguk to report. The things he isn’t supposed to do aren’t things he wants to do enough that he’s even considered what Jeongguk would do if he actually went against his father’s warnings. And if he makes a mistake, does something that looks bad on his father or their pack, he thinks his father would be understanding. No one is perfect.

But he only says it now because Jeongguk brings out a side of him that doesn’t think, only reacts.

Jeongguk doesn’t respond at first, and it makes Taehyung’s curiosity grow as to whether he really was asked to do that. Taehyung can’t imagine that, but there’s an annoyed look on Jeongguk’s face when he glances back at him to see if he’s still there.

“I never have, have I?” Jeongguk asks, sounding defensive when their eyes meet. “Are you hungry too? You’re acting extra grumpy today.”

That would make Taehyung smile if it weren’t for the implication Jeongguk started with. “You just bring that side out of me.”

Jeongguk’s lips twitch, but he nudges his head forwards towards a shop before he speaks. “Let’s go there. I’m not going to report anything, Taehyung.” He brushes up against him, finally taking up his side rather than constantly walking behind him. “Explore those urges as much as you want. Maybe that’ll make you less grumpy.”

Thankfully, he says it quietly so Taehyung doesn’t worry about passersby overhearing him. But he gets close to do so, and whispering it makes it ten times worse at the same time. “Can’t quite do that if you’re constantly around, can I?”

Jeongguk shrugs, eyebrows raising. “That’s definitely a ‘you’ problem, Taehyung. Come on.”

Taehyung stares after Jeongguk as he slips inside the shop he indicated. The advertisements of what they offer are on the windows, but it’s the smell of meat wafting from the opened door that pulls Taehyung’s into moving.

It’s the only reason he enters instead of taking off when he’s given the chance, he tells himself. He stubbornly stands by what he said though and stands in line behind Jeongguk, looking away Jeongguk turns towards him like they’re strangers. Taehyung will die on this grave even if he looks foolish, even if Jeongguk rolls his eyes and shakes his head in disapproval. 

He even waits for Jeongguk to get his food and take a seat before he searches out an available table as far away as possible. Part of him is surprised that Jeongguk remains where he is because there are other wolves inside, but he uses that to prove his thought that Jeongguk only gets protective because he’s ordered to, not because it’s genuine.

“Hello. I’m so sorry to bother you.”

Shit. Taehyung didn’t think that sitting alone may leave him vulnerable to approach. He slowly glances up at the server that stands half bent over beside his table, an apologetic expression on their face.

They’re a wolf, that much Taehyung can tell. Around his age, maybe a little older. It just isn’t common for wolves to work in the city unless they have professions, especially during this time of year when school hasn’t started. 

“You’re the son of Kim Seonghoon, yes? You look just like him.”

Taehyung wants to pound his head onto the table. He shouldn’t be surprised, he is a clone copy of his father and every wolf in the city has to know him, but what the hell. 

“Uh, yes. I am.”

The wolf breaks out in a smile, bowing before he reaches out and grabs Taehyung’s hand. It surprises him just enough to jerk back, but he cusses at himself in case he’s wrong about Jeongguk’s intentions. He doesn’t want him bouncing over here, causing a scene. “It’s so good to meet you. I’m Jung Hoseok. I’m from a small pack in Gwangju. If you remember, your father helped us out greatly when we were on the brink of dying out.”

Taehyung swallows thickly, feeling awkward. Hoseok speaks very quickly, excitedly, though thankfully quietly. He does remember when his father sent skilled wolves all the way to Gwangju, when he brought Hoseok’s pack under his jurisdiction, he just doesn’t know what to say.

“I was just wondering if you could tell him I am thankful. And I wanted to introduce myself, of course. Though, it would have been really awkward if you weren’t him, right?” Hoseok laughs, shoulders shaking as he grabs Taehyung’s hand again. “Are you just visiting or -?”

“Oh - I -”

Taehyung doesn’t know how he feels when the chair across from him slips across the floor and Jeongguk plants himself onto it. He doesn’t say anything or look to Hoseok, only places his bowl onto the table and starts to eat it like he had been sitting there the entire time. 

“I - yes, for now,” Taehyung manages. “I’m attending university in a few weeks, though.”

Hoseok claps his hands. “You are welcome here, any time. Everything is on the house. That handsome man there, behind the counter, he’s the owner. Also from my pack. Min Yoongi. He’s a bit of a cheapskate, but just tell him I promised you. That man takes promises like a life or death sentence.”

As Hoseok rambles, Jeongguk props his elbows to the table and hangs his hands beneath his chin. Taehyung is hyper aware of his presence, and wonders if the way Hoseok’s eyes snap to him is because he’s done something to alert him to Jeongguk’s presence.

“I will leave you be now. I hope you enjoy your meal, and I’m sorry to interrupt it. I just couldn’t help myself when I realized. Anyway, yes, I will go. If there’s anything you need, just give a shout.”

It’s embarrassing. Taehyung wishes to be discreet, a fly on the wall to everyone around him, but Hoseok bows a handful of times as he backs away from their table. There must be people looking, Taehyung tunes into his own bowl so he can’t confirm this.

“Take advantage of that. The foods really good,” Jeongguk mumbles with his cheeks bulging and head bobbing. He points down at his nearly empty bowl with his chopsticks before he twists his head and crumples his expression in pleasure.

“I said separate tables,” Taehyung says as he gets ready for his own first mouthful. It does smell delicious.

Jeongguk shrugs. “You were uncomfortable.”

As delicious as it smells, and as hungry as Taehyung is, he hesitates with his mouthful hovering in front of him There’s no way Jeongguk could know that, and even less chance that he would actually care if Taehyung was. “You mean you were.”

There’s no hesitation. Jeongguk nods, arms stretching out behind his back before he plants his elbows back to the table. “Yeah. I was.”

Taehyung meant it as a jab towards what Jeongguk said earlier, about having eyes on them that would report back to his father, but he doesn’t know what Jeongguk means. He wasn’t expecting him to say that he was and sound like he means it.

“My father isn’t here. You don’t have to pretend for me. I can handle being uncomfortable. Hoseok was nice. Just wanted to thank my father for helping out his pack from dying out a few years ago.”

Jeongguk hums. He has his hands back under his chin again, but watching Taehyung this time as he shoves his mouth full of food. “You’re going to have to do that, you know. There will be situations where you’ll have to take wolves from their packs. It worked out for your parents, for that wolf’s pack I’m guessing, but it doesn’t work out for everyone.”

For claiming he cares about Taehyung being uncomfortable, he sure makes him feel that way now. It’s something he already knows, he just tries not to think about it. And Jeongguk’s mother is one of the wolves it didn’t work out for, but he’s never talked about it much. When he has, Taehyung has never known what to say. Anything he could come up with sounded superficial because he doesn’t know if Jeongguk even knows the full story. 

“No. I think if more packs intermingled, wolves could choose wolves from other packs on their own. Everyone should be with who they want to be with, if they want to be with anyone at all.”

Jeongguk taps incessantly at his own chin,  his gaze on Taehyung unwavering. “Well that’s not always possible.”

Taehyung swallows thickly. He wants to hurriedly bring more food into his mouth because he doesn’t want to respond to that, but that stupid lump is back in his throat. “No, it isn’t. But I can make it possible for more people.”

Maybe he’s imagining the sudden awkwardness, he isn’t sure. Jeongguk scratches the back of his head and looks away from him, not saying another word. For the first time, Taehyung wishes Jeongguk would say something, specifically something completely off topic.

But he continues the silence, forcing Taehyung to be the one to interrupt it. He wants a change of subject desperately, but his curiosity and habit of self sabotage are always in control.

“What is your plan? There are plenty of wolves that would like to be your mate.” He doesn’t know how to ask this. The heat is already starting to build across his entire body. It’s such a normal conversation to have with someone, but Taehyung suddenly doesn’t know how to discuss it. “Um, did you have anyone in mind?”

Jeongguk glances at him first in surprise, but then turns down to look at his almost empty bowl. “I don’t really care.”

Taehyung frowns at that. “What do you mean you don’t care? What if Appa paired you up with someone you absolutely despised?”

Jeongguk huffs out a noise, the amusement in the sound dulled. “If he doesn’t before you take over, I’m sure you’d do just that. But I don’t hate anyone that much.”

There have been a dozen things today that have caused the knot in Taehyung’s stomach and his grumpy mood, but nothing makes his stomach twist like that. He hadn’t considered it, his rule without his father seems a long way off. Surely Jeongguk will be mated by then, already having continued his line. Not only does he not want to tell someone who to mate with, he wouldn’t be able to with Jeongguk. It’d be impossible.

“No, just me, right?” Taehyung tries, forcing the words out because he is more regret than wolf right now for starting this conversation.

Jeongguk glances at him, holding his gaze for a moment. “Right. So I have nothing to worry about, Alpha.”

That awkward silence returns, and this time, Taehyung has no desire to break it. He doesn’t trust himself, so he continues to eat his food as much as he can with the lump in his throat until it’s time to leave.

Chapter Text

“You always come back from the city smelling awful. Do you just not clean yourself when you’re there?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes but wraps an arm around Seokmin, pulling him close. He breathes in deeply, taking in the forest and Seokmin to wash out the scent that’s been clinging to his nose hairs for the last few days. “I have only been gone three days, Seok-ah. Have you missed me that much?”

Seokmin grins and wraps an arm around Taehyung’s waist, guiding him. “I know it’s you that missed me.”

Truly. It was only a few days, and on their way back home, Taehyung couldn’t stop thinking about how difficult it’s going to be to be away for months at a time. “I sure did. It was awful. Jeongguk made a point to be up my ass the entire time.”

Seokmin snickers. “You guys are going to come out of this best friends again, and maybe then you’ll tell me what happened between you two.”

“Nothing happened,” Taehyung says hurriedly. He unlatches himself from Seokmin to grab his bag, wanting to change this conversation by presenting his gift. “And that won’t happen. What about you? Did you talk to Binna like I ordered you to?”

The red bursts across Seokmin’s face, and Taehyung nearly drops his bag and the gifts inside to reach across the space and grab his hot cheeks. 

“Tell me everything.”

Seokmin whines as he grabs Taehyung’s forearms and yanks his hands away. “Nothing. Jeez. We had a conversation about nothing. A few times.”

Taehyung bounces on his toes as he claps. That isn’t a lot, but it is for Seokmin. Taehyung’s never seen a wolf as shy as Seokmin gets around her. “I’m proud of you, buddy. What will you name your first pup?”

A loud laugh comes from Seokmin as he wrestles Taehyung off of him. “Quiet. She’s just over there.”

Taehyung glances where Seokmin waves his hand towards the courtyard. Most of the pack is out, like always when the weather is nice. He struggles to find Binna at first, though he forgets he’s looking when his eyes land on Jeongguk talking to his mother.

Since the awkward conversation at Hoseok’s shop, they’ve barely spoken. Taehyung doesn’t know if he was imagining any kind of difference since they’ve barely spoken in the last decade, but either way, the tension was there.

And Taehyung really doesn’t understand why nor why he cares.

“I’m just proud of you, Seok-ah. I got you some more supplies so maybe you can make her something,” Taehyung says as he finally tugs open his bag and pulls out the paint he bought Seokmin first. “I can snoop around and see what would be a good gift of intention for her?”

Joy bursts across Seokmin’s face as Taehyung pulls out more for him, and he happily piles them into his hands. “You are way too optimistic. Even by the off chance you’re right, and Binna returns my affection, your father still has to approve.”

Taehyung waves a hand of dismissal at him. “Ask my mother. She would only deny you if she had a really good reason.”

Seokmin hesitates as he clings his pile of gifts to his chest. “Well, I mean, technically there's a good reason.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes and wraps back around Seokmin, tugging him towards the others. “Stop with that. You know that wouldn’t be a part of my parents’ consideration. But fine, fine. I’ll give you a break for now. Tell me what else I’ve missed.”

“Same stuff,” Seokmin replies, sounding relieved. “Soonyoung’s pup got stuck in a tree. Climbed up there but was too afraid to get down. I heard him and helped get him down. Which wasn’t easy. The kid kicked the entire way down.”

Taehyung claps Seokmin proudly on the chest. “Look at you.”

“A bunch of wolves think Jeongguk being set to the city is him being mated off to another pack,” Seokmin goes on, making Taehyung pause in his step. He hates that his eyes immediately jump back to where Jeongguk is amongst the others and finds him being taken away from his mother by another wolf their age. “Even went to your mother about it, though I think whatever she said didn’t relieve them any.”

“What’d she say?”

Seokmin ignores him. “And Jae-yoon’s been in the infirmary. You know her mate, an absolute dick. No one can even get close to the building without him snapping his teeth. I’m assuming she’s okay, but I’ve been waiting for you to get home to ask your mother.”

Taehyung is listening, mostly. He watches as the wolf cups Jeongguk’s neck unnecessarily to lean in and say something, hiding her mouth so Taehyung can’t read her lips. Not that he’s trying to or anything. Or cares. He just simply wonders for the millionth time if Jeongguk was honest, that he really doesn’t care about who he mates with. And the only reason Taehyung has been thinking about it isn’t because he cares, but because he just can’t wrap his head around it. 

“And I’ve decided to run away and go rogue. Maybe head up to the mountains.”

Taehyung snaps his head back to Seokmin, looking at his mouth in confusion. “What?”

With a roll of his eyes, Seokmin knocks his shoulder into Taehyung. “You haven’t done that in years. I forgot how annoying it was.”

His confusion only grows. He frowns to communicate it, but he can’t help the way he glances back to Jeongguk. 

What is his problem?

“That,” Seokmin laughs. “When we were younger, you would space out looking at him. All of the goddamn time. I guess this means I’m right, eh?”

Taehyung rips his eyes away from Jeongguk and forces them to remain on Seokmin. “I wasn’t looking at anyone. I was worrying about Jae-yoon.”

It isn’t technically a lie. He does plan on asking his mother to make sure she’s alright and to stop by the infirmary, but Seokmin still snorts like he’s telling the biggest fib.

“And I never did that. Before.” Did he? He doesn’t actually remember ever doing that. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

This makes Seokmin laugh louder, but thankfully he doesn’t go on. He just shakes his head as if in disbelief. “Whatever. I’m going to bring these to Eomma. She loves to paint too. Good luck with whatever’s going on with your brain.”

Taehyung only nods in gratitude because he needs it. “I know. That’s why I got so many.”

The wolf has now moved Jeongguk aside, still speaking quietly between them and Taehyung can’t help but wrinkle his nose. Surely she should leave him alone so Jeongguk can greet his mother? It isn’t often that he leaves her for more than a few hours, and she is the type to worry a lot. Taehyung wants to scold him and order him to go do that, even twists his feet to do so, before he shakes his head at himself because he hasn’t even greeted his own mother yet.

She remains where she had been talking to Jeongguk, this time fussing over his father. Her hands are in his hair, then cupping his cheeks as if feeling his temperature. She is the one that brings him in for a kiss, and while it’s nothing more than a peck, Taehyung turns his gaze like it’s a habit he’s built over the years.

He probably has. When he was younger, he would see his parents kiss and wonder what drove them to do that. Or wonder why he only wanted to with one person and not anyone else. How he could cup Seokmin’s cheeks and only feel fond, but cup Jeongguk’s like his mother always does to his father and want to close the space between them. Those thoughts used to add to the constant ache Taehyung had in his chest after Jeongguk and his falling out, so he thinks he’s developed a habit of turning away when wolves embrace.

He needs to get over that, Taehyung thinks to himself. It’s so ridiculous, and he feels foolish. Especially after so many years.

“My pup, come here,” his mother coos when he approaches. She lets go of his father to pull him into an embrace. “Your father said you were trying to cook?”

Taehyung lets out a noise of complaint, attempting to walk away but his mother laughs and holds onto him tighter. “Why is that so odd? I’m going to be off on my own. I need to learn.”

His mother waves a dismissive hand at him. “It’s safer if you don’t, honey. Get microwaveable food. I don’t like when you go so far away from me. We should have had another child, Seonghoon-ah.”

“Wow, I’m pretty sure I should be offended by that,” Taehyung scoffs, but he’s unable to keep his frown from turning into a grin when his mother hits the air between them in scolding. 

“Oh hush. That’s not what I mean. I just hate an empty house, though it’s been fuller than ever these last few days. I swear, the pack waits for you to leave to come to me with all of their requests.” She wiggles her fingers beneath her father’s chin. “There’s not a single thing scary about you. I don’t get it.”

There definitely is. His mother is biased, but Taehyung doesn’t say so. He remembers what Seokmin says and thinks his mental eyes are going to get stuck in his head if he keeps on rolling them so much. 

“Taehyung is here now. Send them his way. He needs to start taking on more of his responsibilities.” His father looks pleased with himself as he cups the back of Taehyung’s neck. “I would like to spend a few days with your mother undisturbed before I return to the city.”

Ew. Taehyung twists away from them, hiding his wrinkled nose. He is more than fine with doing so, but he’s thinking about the wolves Seokmin mentioned going to his mother about Jeongguk’s mating status, and is quite sure he will die if he has to deal with that. 

“I’m going to the river,” Taehyung announces, shaking his head. “I will return and take over for you, Eomma.”

At night, Taehyung finds more things he will miss about being home. It’s not like he had forgotten over the last few days, but he appreciates them even more in the moment. As he lays in the grass and breathes in the smoke from the fires, he tries to engrain the look of the stairs in his mind because they’re so much harder seeing them from the city.

When he’s there, he can’t slip out into a forest to try and disappear and just stare up at the stars. He’ll have to find some place that feels completely isolated, even though he doubts there’s one in such a busy place. Or maybe it just won’t feel like it because he’s out in the middle of the yard now, wolves all around him, yet the stars still give him that feeling. 

He doesn’t know what he likes about them so much. Thinking too hard about just how big the universe is really freaks him out, and he really only searches for shapes and constellations when he’s playing a game with Seokmin. But he loves staring up, looking at the little lights that seem both so close yet so far. It’s mind numbing, even more so with the familiar background noise of his pack. The howling, the laughter, the fire crackling.

Someone calling Jeongguk’s name.

Taehyung closes his eyes and breathes out through his nose. He isn’t going to miss that, but despite his current appreciation of the universe, it is never on his side. It’s quick to remind him why he should appreciate only having to hear Jeongguk’s name in the background noise.

“Pretend we’re discussing something important.”

Taehyung whips his eyes open as a body nudges against him. He doesn’t turn his head as Jeongguk adjusts, not leaving much space between as he lays beside him.

“I feel like a bear in the middle of a hunt,” Jeongguk goes on, sounding exasperated. “But like the sexy kind that people want to eat in a sexy way.”

Taehyung closes his eyes again and does everything in his power to keep his sigh locked up in his chest. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean,” Jeongguk replies, though Taehyung does not. At all. He’s not attempting to understand either, too busy trying to fight off the urge to turn towards Jeongguk and be more aware of how close they are. “So pretend.”

Silence follows. Taehyung stubbornly doesn’t want to do as Jeongguk asks, but any attempt at mind-escape completely fails him. He can’t focus on the stars above or get lost in his surroundings because he’s too aware of Jeongguk breathing beside him.

They used to do this often, lay beneath the stars while hiding away from their parents until they couldn’t any longer. Taehyung feels odd doing it now, especially because it rattles a thing inside of his chest that had gone dormant long ago. Something he doesn’t actually feel anymore, yet the familiarity of it all brings it out. 

“You’re bad at this,” Jeongguk says before he grunts with his surge forward. He gives Taehyung no choice but to give into that urge to look his way when he rolls his weight onto his forearm and proceeds to look down at him.

Even if Taehyung wasn’t paying attention to the stars anymore, he’s annoyed that Jeongguk blocks his view. 

“I, a member of the pack you lead, am coming to you for help,” Jeongguk says, his expression serious but the bullshit shines in his eyes. “It isn’t alpha-like to turn me away.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. The only thing more annoying than Jeongguk is how his own lips tremble with the urge to smile. “I’m not there yet, as you constantly remind me.”

Thankfully, Jeongguk falls back to his side. “Your parents asked that we go to you over the next few days unless it’s dire.” 

Shit. Taehyung forgot about that. He hadn’t expected Jeongguk of all people to be the first one to do so either, though Taehyung still doesn’t understand why he’s here in the first place.

“Fine. Indulge me then.” Taehyung is the one to sit up this time, scooching over until it almost feels bearable to breathe. “Why are we pretending?”

Jeongguk’s face crumples, and he looks annoyed though he is the one disturbing Taehyung’s peace. “Because no one will bother me.”

Taehyung snorts. “So you decided to bother me instead?”

At that, Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I suggest you don’t talk to others that come to you like this.”

A laugh rumbles in Taehyung’s chest, and he’s quick to nuzzle his face over his forearm to muffle the sound. He thinks it shows on his face though when Jeongguk looks at him with a gleam in his eye. 

“No one is as annoying as you.”

Jeongguk lurches upwards and leans in, one of his hands planted beside Taehyung’s calf. “Get new material, would you? You’re the only one that thinks that, and the multiple gifts of intention I’ve been offered today is proof of that.”

Any amusement left inside of Taehyung dies. Jeongguk doesn’t sound as cocky as he normally does, but more tired and as annoyed as Taehyung suddenly feels. “Is that why you want to pretend?”

Jeongguk taps his fingers closer to Taehyung’s legs, seemingly distracted, before he yanks his hand back. “Yeah. I had half the mind to request you lie and say you plan to pair me with some made up person, but then I figured you’d probably encourage them to torment me more.”

There’s instantly a battle inside of Taehyung’s mind, like Jeongguk snapped his fingers and triggered chaos. He’s surprised mostly, especially given their conversation the other day that’s caused Taehyung to brew non-stop since. Years of habit encourages him to say something back that confirms Jeongguk’s suspicions, but there’s something else there that’s more powerful. That has more control over Taehyung’s brain than Jeongguk’s snapping fingers. 

“You come up with the fake person and the story, and I’ll go with it.”

Jeongguk perks up at that, disbelief on his face before his eyes narrow accusingly. “At what cost?”

It isn’t unreasonable for Jeongguk to assume there’s a cost, and it probably works in Taehyung’s favor. Taehyung doesn’t know what he’s thinking, what’s going through his mind because he’s built such a strong wall, but he’s glad Jeongguk doesn’t see it as anything other than Taehyung taking an opportunity. 

“You’ll owe me,” is all Taehyung says because he can’t come up with anything else. Not right now. 

Jeongguk huffs. “That’s definitely not very alpha-like of you.”

Taehyung shrugs, going for nonchalance. “Special circumstances. Alphas are different with their second, no?”

“And you say I’m the annoying one.” Jeongguk shakes his head and clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “I feel like you’re going to make me regret this.”

Taehyung’s fingers twitch with the need to grab Jeongguk’s hand as he plucks the blades of grass between them. “Come on. Tell me your story so we’re on the same page.”

The annoyance grows on Jeongguk’s face. He looks out to the distance, still plucking away at the grass. “Ah, I don’t know. Someone from another pack, perhaps at university with us?”

Taehyung nods along. “There is a rumor that’s the reason you’re going with me.”

Shit. Regret fills Taehyung the moment the words leave his mouth, and that feeling only grows when Jeongguk turns to him and grins. “Yeah? Been talking about me?”

Taehyung grabs a clump of Jeongguk’s grass and flicks it at him. “Seokmin just gave me a rundown of what I’ve missed while we were gone.” 

The grin remains on Jeongguk’s face. “Someone at university, a pairing to strengthen pack relations. Maybe like Hoseok.”

Taehyung is already looking at Jeongguk, but it feels like his entire body snaps tight to look at him more. “Like Hoseok?”

“From a small pack,” Jeongguk clarifies. 

The tension seeps from Taehyung’s body, his shoulders slumping. He glances down at the growing pile of grass, wanting to pluck at it too. “It would be more believable if you were mated within a pack that benefited us more.”

Jeongguk sucks his tongue. “I actually don’t want to talk about this. Come on, stop being anti-social.”

Taehyung gapes at Jeongguk as he jumps to his feet, but he’s quick to follow suit. Not because he wants to join him, but, “You’re the one that started it.”

The thing is, Jeongguk looks monumentally annoyed despite being full grin not seconds before. And he is the one that came up with this, that disturbed Taehyung’s peace to discuss something Taehyung much rather not discuss himself. He just prefers talking about something hypothetical rather than actual if Jeongguk is going to insist on mentioning it. And if he can help get the other wolves off of his back, well, that only benefits the both of them. 

“And you said you didn’t care either,” Taehyung goes on, arms crossed over his chest. 

Jeongguk shrugs. “I changed my mind.”

“You said that not even two full days ago.”

With a heavy sigh, Jeongguk turns back to him. “I doubt you truly believe someone wouldn’t care at all about who they’re supposed to spend the rest of their life with. Someone they have to be loyal to, protect, build a home together. Someone they have to be intimate with.”

He doesn’t. It’s why he claims he’s been thinking about it non-stop. Especially because he abhors the idea of it himself, knowing he has to be with someone whether he likes it or not.

And he knows he won’t like it. 

“Yeah, well, tell me then. I asked for a reason.”

Jeongguk starts walking again, but Taehyung follows after him. He keeps his eyes on Jeongguk’s locked jaw, the tension in his shoulders. It’s as if he’s going towards the pack ready for a fight. 

“Yeah?” One word, yet it’s loaded with sarcasm. “What’s your reason?”

Taehyung grabs Jeongguk’s elbow, keeping his touch light enough that Jeongguk can keep going if he really wants to. Although, when Jeongguk does stop, he’s really not sure why he stopped him in the first place.

“Well, since you were constantly asking me -“

Jeongguk shakes his head as Taehyung falters because he doesn’t have a reason, he hadn’t meant to start the conversation with Jeongguk at all. “You of all people should know why I would say I don’t care, Tae.”

Taehyung snaps his mouth shut around his unspoken words. He wants to shove into Jeongguk because he has no right to sound aggravated with him . And it’s so sudden too that Taehyung feels like he’s been thrown back and forth across the yard just trying to keep up with the conversation. “Should I? I was actually surprised when you said you didn’t care because you always used to get like this when the topic was brought up.”

He really is aggravated, Taehyung thinks when Jeongguk finally looks at him. They’ve stopped moving again, but now nearly back with a group of wolves that have their eyes on them. Taehyung can only imagine what they’re thinking because he’s quite sure the tension between them is visible even though Jeongguk’s back is towards them.

“That was a long time ago.”

Taehyung raises his eyebrows. “Yeah? Because you’re doing it now so I’m assuming it hasn’t changed.”

For a moment, Jeongguk just glares at him. When he starts to part his lips, Taehyung’s body tenses even more in anticipation of what he’s going to say. If he’s going to actually say something because in these fights they both only hint and imply and never really say anything at all.

But his lips snap closed quickly and he steps back a moment before Taehyung catches what Jeongguk must have. 

“Oh, Alpha, excuse me…one moment.”

There’s a nervous energy to Seokmin as he rushes towards them and moves between them. He slides an arm around Taehyung’s shoulders, guiding Taehyung close so he can speak quietly.

“Buddy, my pal, I can smell the fight brewing, and I’m probably not the only one.”

Taehyung doesn’t think it would surpass anything more than a few spat out words, but the tension between them does feel thick enough to alert other people. Hell, it’s so thick that Taehyung didn’t even sense Seokmin getting near as quickly as he normally does.

He’s still not paying much attention to his surroundings, like his brain has latched onto Jeongguk and how he grits his teeth and cusses through them. 

“No fight,” Taehyung assures. He forces himself to come off relaxed, to move though he craves nothing more than to take off and hide. He’s too irritated with Jeongguk, but he still won’t let anyone even think a fight is happening.

So Taehyung swallows down everything brewing inside of him to force out a laugh that doesn’t sound as genuine as he hopes as he steps forward and claps Jeongguk on the chest. 

“I found a mate for my second here, from another pack, and he was just being very dramatic in his examples of how he will remain loyal to me.”

It burns Taehyung’s mouth just saying it, and he says it loud enough for his voice to travel. For people not to worry there is a fight, and perhaps selfishly so he doesn’t have to speak to anyone one on one about mating with him.

The hesitation on Seokmin’s face makes Taehyung wonder if he’s convincing enough.

“Since it’s an alpha,” Taehyung blurts. He laughs again, and this time it is genuine, just more awkward than amused. “You see.”

Seokmin mumbles something under his breath while Jeongguk practically trips over his own feet. There’s a wild, accusing look on his face that Taehyung ignores because fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He needs to stop talking. 

“Well.” Taehyung cups the side of Jeongguk’s neck like his father does as a gesture of affection, and his skin is just as hot as his own. “Good talk. Seokmin, actually, I need to speak to you too. Privately. Hurry along now.”

He barely gets a step past Jeongguk before Jeongguk’s hand is wrapped around his forearm, tight enough that he’d have to visibly rip his arm away to keep moving.

“What the hell, Taehyung. That’s not what I meant.”

Taehyung shimmies his arm until Jeongguk lets go, his heart hammering in his chest. “You should be left alone now.”

The muscle tenses over Jeongguk’s jaw, but he doesn’t say another word. Not as the normal chatter of their pack seems less like background noise.

Taehyung excuses himself with his hand wrapped around Seokmin’s and tries his best not to look as if he’s running away. 

What did I do? What did I do? Great job, Taehyung, you really missed the ball on that one, buddy.

Taehyung paces, the reprimands playing over and over again in his head like a depressing song that definitely wouldn’t top the charts. Or maybe they would, because Taehyung loves some sad ass music himself. But shit. It doesn’t help that he can feel Seokmin’s eyes trailing after him, and he’s just waiting for the reprimands to come from him as well. 

If they were traditional, Seokmin would never dare. But they aren’t, and Seokmin has never been shy about voicing his thoughts and opinions with him.

“Wanna tell me what just happened?”

They’re hiding away in Seokmin’s cabin for now, and Taehyung doesn’t know how much longer they have before Seokmin’s mother comes looking for him like he always does when Taehyung convinces him to hide away instead of socializing with the pack. But he doesn’t respond right away, scratching furiously at his neck as he tries to figure out what to say in the first place.

“Jeongguk asked me to lie and say I am pairing him up with some fake person, which…I did ,” Taehyung starts, his words breaking off into a sigh as he claps his hand over his face. “Somehow it led to an argument, I don’t know - I’m telling you he’s an asshole, and I didn’t want the others to think we were fighting. Because you know, Jeongguk has this stigma on his back that always makes him pissy, and I blurted ‘alpha’ because I wasn’t thinking. Which won’t help that distrust. Shit, Seokmin. I was trying to do the opposite of that.”

Seokmin still looks a bit confused when Taehyung peeks through his fingers to gauge his reaction. “Why were you two arguing?” 

“That’s not the point,” Taehyung cries. He doesn’t know. The whole conversation confused him. “He’s going to be even more annoying in his attempt to prove loyalty now.”

Taehyung falls onto Seokmin’s bed beside him, glaring up at the ceiling though this isn’t its fault. Seokmin’s sigh in response sounds like it probably is supposed to be sympathetic, but Taehyung only feels judged.

“Listen, you two looked really pissed off. Jeongguk especially. I’ll tell - maybe Soonyoung - that you told me Jeongguk was just ticked off because you’re the only alpha for him.”

At that, Taehyung nearly flies back off the bed. He rips his eyes to Seokmin, expecting amusement. “Don’t say it like that.”

The amusement shines through then. “It’s true, isn’t it? I don’t think Jeongguk’s intentions of proving his loyalty are anything other than that. Soonyoung can’t hold in information for more than a second before he’s blabbering it to someone else. It’ll be fine.”

Is it true? Taehyung thinks he’d have to dig through a lot of locked away thoughts in order to figure out whether he’s being biased or not when he comes to the conclusion that Jeongguk is just out to torment him, and he’s too exhausted right now to do that. 

“You know it’s true,” Seokmin interrupts, like he’s reading Taehyung’s thoughts. “Or else you wouldn’t feel bad right now.”

Fair fucking point, but Taehyung only sighs without agreeing. “I don’t know why he got so pissed off at me, Seok-ah. He’s the one that asked me to lie for him, and as soon as we started to come up with the lie, he got so aggravated he started to storm off.”

Seokmin coos softly as he runs his fingers over Taehyung’s forehead, pushing his hair back. “You and Jeongguk are exactly the same in the sense that you’re both adamantly against traditional mating. He just doesn’t have as much place to be open about it as you.”

“How do you know that?”

Seokmin laughs and falls beside him. It isn’t as peaceful as laying beside him under the stars, but both the quiet of the house and Seokmin’s scent are just the same. “You probably should talk to him more often if you two are going to run an entire pack, well, multiple packs, together.”

Not this again. Taehyung is more than well aware of that, and he’s had enough of people constantly reminding him.. “The last thing I want to do is talk about his feelings on mating, Seok-ah.”

Yet, he did just that, and he doesn’t know why he has this strong need to know what Jeongguk wants. Who Jeongguk wants. He feels like he’s asking just to prepare himself for it, yet he doesn’t want to acknowledge what he’s preparing himself for so the fact that he needs to know doesn’t make sense to him.

“Taehyung,” Seokmin says, his tone firm. Almost like a command, but Taehyung groans and wishes he could hide himself in Seokmin’s mattress. “I think it’s time you told me what the hell happened to create this weird hate, not hate thing between you two.”

“No.”

He sees it coming, but he still isn’t prepared for when Seokmin flings himself over him until he’s straddling Taehyung and grabbing his cheeks to force him to look at him. Yet everything about his tone and his expression is gentle, warm.

“You can tell me anything,” Seokmin assures him. “I actually can’t think of a single thing that could have happened between you two that you couldn’t tell me.”

Of course he wouldn’t think of it. It’s a bitter thought in Taehyung’s mind. No one expects it because it’s outside their norm. And it’s so normal that it’s a fact in everyone’s minds. Taehyung will only mate someone who can help him carry out his line and nothing more, he could only want that. So doing anything that could even potentially imply something else is completely impossible. 

“Seok-ah -”

“Even if you were to tell me that you’re in love with your second hand.”

Taehyung nearly tosses Seokmin across the room. He forgets to be gentle, regret instantly hitting him as he knocks Seokmin off of him and onto the bed. “Why would you say something like that?”

The amusement somehow still seems to be there though Seokmin looks like he’s also in a state of shock from being so suddenly manhandled. “Well, I mean, I didn’t think that, but now I kind of do.”

Taehyung’s laugh comes out a strangled sound that reminds him of his howl in wolf form. “Absolutely not. I can’t stand being around him.”

Seokmin leans forward and grabs onto Taehyung’s fingers, which he hadn’t realized were digging in so roughly to his thigh until Seokmin forces him to release. “I mean maybe you were, and that’s related to the falling out.”

The thing is, Taehyung trusts Seokmin more than anyone. He thinks he could actually murder someone, and Seokmin would take it to his grave. They’d probably fight about it, but either way, the secret would be safe. The issue is more that Taehyung does not want to talk about it, does not want to say it outloud, or remember it. 

Or deal with this day any longer at all. He was really excited about coming home, but now he’s just bummed. 

“We stopped talking at like, fourteen. What the hell does a fourteen year old know about love?”

Seokmin rests his face against Taehyung’s hands, his shoulders shaking subtlety but enough to make him aware that he’s laughing. But after a moment, he looks up and he’s only smiling. “I think a fourteen year old knows a fourteen year old’s version of love, and pain from that doesn’t go away. Especially if you’re around the person all the time and expected to, you know, get along and run an entire pack with each other. Or maybe it isn’t pain any longer, but anger. Which, I feel, is on point with  you, hyung.”

Another sound like a howl leaves Taehyung’s mouth as he climbs up Seokmin’s bed like he’s trying to scale the wall. “No, no. Fourteen year old me wasn’t in love with anyone. No - I was -”

Taehyung shakes his head furiously. He can’t believe Seokmin suggested this, and he did so like he said what he meant. Taehyung can talk to him about it.

But it wasn’t that. Taehyung knows he’s never felt love in the way Seokmin means. Any differences he felt for his best friend Jeongguk and his best friend Seokmin weren’t things he got a chance to explore. The only kind of feelings he got to explore were the confusion and then the anger.

Because Seokmin is right about that. Taehyung thinks he’s been angry ever since. But to conclude that means anything like love is absolutely absurd on Seokmin’s part. 

“We just started fighting a lot,” Taehyung tries. He doesn’t actually know what happened between them, especially as time goes on and his confusion makes his memories even more muddled. “But we also weren’t. And -”

Taehyung feels trapped. He abhors this feeling, that it’s happening with Seokmin because it’s never like that. Seokmin never brings this up, and he’s looking at him patiently, softly. Which is as bad as it is good because it makes it harder for Taehyung to deflect like he normally does.

“Wh - I kissed him and we fought even more.”

Shit. That feeling inside of Taehyung grows. He’s still shaking his head, trying to find more words to distract Seokmin from what he’s just said. To distract himself from the fact that he’s said it out loud.

But Seokmin’s expression doesn’t change, 

“Well, he kissed me. I don’t know -“ That is not what he meant to say. “We were kissing, and then we were fighting. Often.”

That’s one thing that Taehyung remembers as clear as day. How gentle and tentative Jeongguk’s mouth was, yet how rough his hands became when he pushed him away. When he lets himself think about it, there is always a phantom pressure against his chest. And in his hands because he had fought back.

“The last time, there was actual fighting,” Taehyung sighs out as he sinks into the wall, legs coming up so he can wrap his arms around his knees. “There was teeth.”

Seokmin raises his eyebrows at that. “Wolf form?”

Taehyung nods. He feels heavier and lighter at the same time. He closes his eyes because it feels easier, hiding away from Seokmin’s gaze. “Jeongguk ran away, and we’ve barely talked since.”

Closing his eyes doesn’t help. It makes him antsy when Seokmin doesn’t respond, so he carefully peeks an eye open and tenses in anticipation to see something judgmental, angry.

Seokmin’s expression is only contemplative. Taehyung doesn’t know if that’s worse or better.

“Do you want me to beat him up? I think I can take him.”

The thought of it is so ridiculous, and paired with the knot in Taehyung’s chest and how seriously Seokmin says it, a laugh rips from Taehyung that he can’t help. One that hurts, that is far from amused and more panicked, and has him burying his face into his knees.

“Hyung.” Seokmin’s hands are gentle as they slide over him. “Don’t be afraid of telling me this, yeah? Though I do understand why you wouldn’t want to, but I’m not going to say anything.”

Taehyung lifts his head. “Jeongguk’s mother was banned from her pack because she was caught with her alpha.”

For the first time, Seokmin’s face completely falls the way Taehyung had expected it to when he first blurted out that he and Jeongguk kissed. “She was a second?”

Taehyung nods as he wipes at his face. “She came to my parents because she had nowhere else to go.”

It’s not something Jeongguk has ever told him. He doesn’t even know if Jeongguk knows. His parents had been speaking about it with Jeongguk’s years ago and Taehyung eavesdropped, his curiosity sparking at the mention of Jeongguk. A little fear too that his parents had somehow found out about what had happened between them. He had gotten caught, and it was the first time Taehyung had seen his father’s scary side. 

He had been so firm in his demand that Taehyung keep it to himself. It would only further the untrustworthy stigma that’s been placed on Jeongguk’s line. It was also the first time Taehyung truly tried to talk to Jeongguk again after everything, but like always, he seized up and hid away. 

“So like, now as an adult I have more understanding as to why Jeongguk reacted the way he did,” Taehyung admits shamefully because despite that, he has been angry. “But we’ve been biting each other’s heads off ever since so it’s kind of, I don’t know, grown into what it is now. And he kissed me first at least once, so it wasn’t just me. So that kind of added to it too.”

Seokmin nods along as he speaks. “I think it still isn’t just you.”

Taehyung frowns. “What does that mean?”

With a shrug, Seokmin pulls away from him and jumps to his feet. “Perhaps those years of you guys biting each other’s heads off was the both of you trying to keep each other at a distance. You know, so nothing can develop.”

The frown on Taehyung’s face deepens so much he’s sure his cheeks are hanging past his chin. “What are you going on about?”

“I don’t know.” Seokmin laughs as he pulls Taehyung to his feet. “I read a lot of romance. I’m going off of that.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Sounds like you read a lot of bullshit.” 

Seokmin repeats him mockingly before he claps his hands to Taehyung’s shoulders. “I’ve always said I think you two would get along if you guys got over what was going on. Maybe you two will like each other even more than I thought.”

It’s impossible, but Seokmin already knows that so Taehyung refrains from repeating it. There’s already a knot in his chest, and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to breathe if it gets any tighter. He tries to focus instead on how good it feels that Seokmin took it well, but he struggles to overpower the worry that now Seokmin has thoughts .

“Take a minute,” Seokmin instructs. “I’ll go start the rumor with Soonyoung. I’m sure the wolves will be in an uproar after your declaration.”

Taehyung groans before he twists away and face-plants back onto Seokmin’s bed. He’s the worst alpha to exist probably. He wishes he could retire before he even truly starts, but he can’t.

Not only would he disappoint his parents, he would be letting the pack down as well. Like his mother said, he’s an only child. The only one that can take over because he doubts his parents are going to start having more children.

The thought of that forces Taehyung up. He can’t hide away, not after his parents have requested a well deserved break. And if he does, that may also lead the pack to thinking Jeongguk and him actually were fighting.

So Taehyung breathes in shortly after Seokmin leaves and forces himself to return to the pack.

As soon as he does, Taehyung feels like there’s a spotlight on him. He thinks he’s just being paranoid when it feels as if the usual murmuring from the pack quiets at his presence, but he can’t tell.

He stalls as much as he can, stopping to greet a few pups and a few of the elders before he makes his way towards Jeongguk’s normal crowd. He considers kissing Seokmin in front of everyone when he finds him there too, sitting next to Jeongguk but with a perfectly Taehyung sized space between them.

Taehyung just wonders if Seokmin said anything to Jeongguk because he doesn’t look surprised when he sits beside him. He only glances his way before offering up a plate that looks as if it’s been waiting on him.

And if he did, Taehyung wants to know what . He trusts Seokmin fully, but during his trip into the city he realized that Jeongguk and Seokmin may be actual friends, and Taehyung doesn’t know what kind of friendship they have. Is he the same kind of friend that he is with Taehyung? Where he can openly express those thoughts he has.

Taehyung wants to throw himself into the fire just thinking about Seokmin suggesting anything to Jeongguk about the two of them. 

“I cooked it,” Jeongguk says, his tone void of anything, though his words have meaning. He is doing just as Taehyung is; proving they’re not in a fight. “Eat well, Alpha.”

Taehyung plants the plate to his lap, feeling awkward. He hopes he doesn’t look it when he smiles wide to thank Jeongguk for the food, because Jeongguk is slightly tense beside him and he doesn’t know who else can tell.

“No worries,” Jeongguk replies. “Sleep well too. I want you to come hunting with me tomorrow.”

Taehyung freezes, surprise filling him. He stares at the side of Jeongguk’s face in question, but Jeongguk goes on eating as if he hadn’t said something so out of the ordinary.

“Why?”

Jeongguk elbows him in warning, his eyes scanning over the wolves around them that keep looking their way. “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

Sleep well. That’s what Jeongguk said, yet the words that followed after caused the opposite. Taehyung does try to sleep, but his mind wanders and replays the same questions without answers all night long. He ends up sneaking out of Seokmin’s house before the sun can fully rise once thoughts of his conversation with Seokmin start to creep in, feeling too restless to continue laying there.

It’s quiet at this time of the day. There’s only the sounds of the birds and the breeze as it moves through the surrounding trees. It would be quite peaceful if Taehyung could just sit and appreciate it the way he does the night sky. 

But he can’t, so he heads to the river instead to take advantage of how actually alone he’ll be at such an early hour. He doesn’t consider it hiding as most of the pack is still asleep or inside their homes, or they should be.

With how things have been going lately, he shouldn’t be surprised that he isn’t alone when he gets to the river.

Taehyung sees him first, just the back of his head but he could recognize that head anywhere. But it’s the pile of clothing on the rock that he passes by that confirms it, the scent just as potent as it always is to him.

He could just turn around and return to the pack, start preparing breakfast early or something. But this is the universe clearly telling him not to hide, and he doesn’t want to fuck with the universe. Not right now when he’s a teeny bit desperate for it to give him some relief.

Jeongguk spins around as Taehyung kicks off his shoes. He moves closer once Taehyung starts to undress, though he does turn and float on his back to give Taehyung a sense of privacy once he’s pulled his pajama pants off.

Neither one of them says anything as Taehyung joins him in the river. It reminds Taehyung of before the biting words and hostility, when they just wouldn’t speak to each other. He thinks he actually prefers the interactions he has with Jeongguk now over that.

It’s ironic that Taehyung hates silence so much, yet it’s one of the things he’s going to miss most about his home. 

“Are you usually up this early?”

Jeongguk jerks like he’s surprised Taehyung is speaking to him. “Usually, yes.”

Taehyung frowns at the thought of that. If he weren’t the future alpha, he’d sleep all day long. “Seokmin said he was going to spread a rumor that we weren’t fighting, you were just passionately telling me I’m your only alpha. So no need to take me hunting and seek revenge.”

Jeongguk moves through the water, less tentative than Taehyung is about being close. “Did you tell him why we were fighting?”

Something protective rises inside of Taehyung, but he forces himself to remain casual. He is actually too tired to even have the tiniest of spats with Jeongguk right now, even if it's an argument in defense of Seokmin. 

“I don’t know why we were.”

Truly, Taehyung is a little too tired for that conversation as well. But he figures it’s going to be brought up when they go out to hunt, and he might as well get it over with now instead of living with the anticipation until then. 

“Do you really think that’s why I am asking you to hunt with me? To seek out revenge?”

Taehyung shakes his head. During his sleepless night, he realized that he’s never said anything about his own feelings regarding the stigma on Jeongguk. He doesn’t believe Jeongguk is capable of betraying him like the others do, he just thinks Jeongguk’s intentions are more self serving than anything else.

So both begrudgingly and a bit apologetically, Taehyung shakes his head. “No. I don’t know why you asked me either, but I don’t think that.”

Jeongguk hides half of his face under the water for a moment, but his eyes remain locked on Taehyung. Taehyung just can’t read anything in them. “Traditionally, we’re supposed to. In wolf form, we’re less emotional and more reliant on instincts. Strengthens our bond.”

“In wolf form, we’ve always been more competitive,” Taehyung replies, attempting to be playful but given their history, it may be a bad move on his part.

Jeongguk does look slightly amused though he rolls his eyes. “Part of our instinct, hyung. And we need to strengthen our bond, you know, before I go mate with that alpha.” 

Taehyung suppresses a groan, but he can’t control the way his hand moves through the water to splash him. “I didn’t mean to say that. No one will bother you though, the only wolf that can compete with an alpha is…another alpha.”

Part of the reason Taehyung became too restless is because he expected Jeongguk to be angry with him, for good reason. He did fuck up, but Jeongguk doesn’t look anything like he did last night. 

“Well, it wasn’t a rumor Seokmin spread,” Jeongguk murmurs. He breathes out audibly, his arms spanning around his body before he ventures closer. “You are my only alpha.”

It’s just a statement, but the way Jeongguk says it makes it sound like more. Quietly, whispered, with no firmness in his tone. He says it only a few inches from him, creating more of a privacy between them that they don’t need and kind of makes Taehyung feel as if he can’t breathe again. 

The water dulls Jeongguk’s scent technically, but it doesn’t matter. It’s all Taehyung breathes in. He’s more aware of how close Jeongguk’s skin is to touching his own than the waves that actually separate them. He’s so close that he can see the different colors that make up the brown of Jeongguk’s irises, and he can’t do anything but notice how much Jeongguk’s eyes soften when his tone does. 

“And because of that, I ask that you don’t,” Jeongguk goes on. “Even if that’s now what the pack expects.”

Shit. Taehyung messed up big time because Jeongguk is right. They’re not going to be able to go without a name for long, and it’s a lot harder to come up with a fake alpha than a fake wolf of no status. 

He grabs Jeongguk’s arm, squeezing gently like a promise. “I’ll fix it.”

Jeongguk nods, looking relieved. His expression still remains soft though he speaks louder now. And he doesn’t give Taehyung any more space, but drops down into the water until his shoulders are covered.  “Do you want to hunt now? Morning is always better, and you’re already naked.”

Taehyung attempts to kick Jeongguk beneath the water, but he traps his foot with his thighs. He really is so close that Taehyung’s knee presses into his stomach, his calf lower, until Taehyung uses trying to get his foot back to create some space between them. 

“I think you’re the only wolf embarrassed by nudity,” Jeongguk teases as he grabs Taehyung’s calf with his hand before Taehyung can pull himself free. The water suddenly doesn’t feel as cool as it normally does in the morning when Jeongguk’s palm slides over his skin and hooks beneath his knee like he’s about to bring Taehyung close again. 

It isn’t that , but Taehyung ignores him completely as he pushes his other foot into Jeongguk’s thigh for leverage. Jeongguk chooses the same time as Taehyung uses his strength to let go, causing Taehyung to halt himself backwards into the water.

His heart swoops in his chest as he accidentally inhales the water. He surges upwards, coughing it out before he lurches forward to get his revenge on Jeongguk.

Hands grab his arms as Jeongguk goes under, dragging Taehyung back down with him. He’s prepared for it this time though, keeping his mouth closed tight before he’s submerged.

He just isn’t expecting Jeongguk to wrap his thighs around his waist. The sudden full press of their bodies throws Taehyung off enough that he accidentally gives Jeongguk the upper hand. 

Barely out of the water, Jeongguk uses his legs to push himself up and Taehyung back down before he lets go completely and takes off.

Taehyung emerges again to the sound of splashing, finding Jeongguk mid shift as he gallops out of the water.

It takes Taehyung a moment to gather himself, heart racing, before he takes after Jeongguk. This is the most freeing feeling of all, his paws pounding onto the ground as he weaves through the trees. He catches up with Jeongguk easily, his senses leading him until he’s nearly on top of Jeongguk.

Instincts don’t always change, Taehyung thinks as his teeth grab at Jeongguk’s ankle. It’s been awhile since they’ve chased and played with each other, but it comes naturally to Taehyung like there hasn’t been this tension between them for so long. He doesn’t feel that tension either when Jeongguk wiggles his foot free and twirls around him to knock his back end against him. 

He does think Jeongguk is actually being playful when he pounces towards Taehyung because he lands in front of him rather than on top of him. There’s nothing threatening about him either, especially when he lowers his upper half onto the ground in a bow.

Jeongguk was wrong when he said wolves are less emotional and more reliant on instincts. It’s true about instincts, but emotions still play a part. It just feels different in wolf form. There’s less of a thought process or control of expression. Taehyung growls in annoyance and lurches forward without thinking about it. 

Or maybe how annoying Jeongguk is is strong enough to hold through while in wolf form. The grin is in his eyes when he bows, and Taehyung can practically hear the ‘little alpha’ Jeongguk is probably thinking. He tackles Jeongguk down, teeth snapping close to his face until Jeongguk’s pounces back.

Taehyung is supposed to hunt with his second to build their bond, but Taehyung doesn’t think his father would approve if he stumbled upon them. He doesn’t think this is how they should be bonding, still playing around like they’re pups. Relying on their instincts for things other than survival, like getting the upper hand on each other. That’s definitely not what an alpha and second should be doing when they mean to bond.

And Taehyung knows for a fact he would be scolded when he does get the upper hand and snaps his teeth around Jeongguk’s throat. He growls lightly as he pins Jeongguk’s down, feeling how heavily he breathes beneath him.

Something surges through Taehyung so hard that he flings back like he’s attacking the empty space beside them next. He’s on high alert as he gives Jeongguk his back, expecting him to keep going. As competitive as he is, Taehyung expects Jeongguk to attempt to get his teeth around his neck to prove himself because that’s what they always did when they were pups.

But time has changed a lot, and Taehyung should start changing his expectations with this in mind. Jeongguk gets to his feet and pads to Taehyung’s side. He breathes out heavily through his nose, head nudging in suggestion before he takes off in that direction. 

Hunting goes quickly. They’re both out to show off their skill, that competitive nature inside of them making their senses better for tracking, their movements more precise. Jeongguk only trips him up once, howling out as Taehyung moves to attack first so his target scurries off. 

But it’s still morning by the time they’re trudging back to their pack. There’s no surprise from anyone when Jeongguk and Taehyung come back together with food, because hunting together is expected. But Taehyung wonders if Seokmin had let it slip where they’ve been, because not even Jeongguk’s mother looks worried like she normally does when Jeongguk isn't where he’s supposed to be.

She just scolds fondly, and it’s been awhile since Taehyung’s gotten to witness it. “Is it necessary to be so messy?” Her face crumples as she pats Jeongguk’s damp muzzle. “I am thankful for your black fur because even if it is due to hunting, I hate the sight of blood on you, my dear.”

Jeongguk lowers his shoulders, nuzzling the top of his head against her before he drags his kill to the kitchens. Taehyung gets a pat and that same fond look next, something he’s missed because not being around Jeongguk much means only some interactions with his mother.

And perhaps, Taehyung has avoided her a little too over the years even though it’s always made him feel guilty.

“It is good to see you two together again,” she whispers as Taehyung lowers his own shoulders to do the same. But he doesn’t nuzzle against her, stilling instead at her words. That guilt returns from how delighted she sounds. “Though, I’ve heard you’ve found someone for my boy. I hope it’s a good wolf, little alpha. The sadness will be inevitable, I’m afraid, but hopefully a good mate will make it so that sadness isn’t forever.”

Taehyung cocks his head at that, but she steps aside with one last pat to his muzzle. “Hurry on, now. The mornings are always busiest for your mother. The wolves are waiting for you, and you’ve created quite a bit of chaos last night.”

Great. Taehyung huffs out through his nose before he does as she says and makes his delivery. Jeongguk is already gone, and Taehyung is both thankful and disappointed. Taehyung has a feeling bonding wasn’t the only reason Jeongguk asked him to hunt because they weren’t out for long, and Jeongguk was the one to lead them home so early. He wanted to ask as soon as they returned, but maybe it’s a good thing that he can’t.

Taehyung can still taste Jeongguk in his mouth. He can’t stop thinking about their bodies pressed together, in both forms, how Jeongguk submitted without trying to bite back, and he knows it will be at the forefront of his mind as soon as he’s standing on two feet again. 

He sneaks into his home quietly, not wanting to wake his parents as he makes his way to his room to slip on a pair of sweatpants. His skin is sticky and sweaty, but the water he takes from the basin to clean himself does little to cool the heat on his skin. Even after wiping off any blood, his skin burns red. 

The sounds of his parents hit his ears, causing him to give up on his attempt to cool himself off. It’s only his mother that he finds in the kitchen, though he can hear his father’s movements in their bedroom. 

“Why aren’t you in the dining hall?” She asks, frowning as she scoops water out of the basin. “You smell like blood.”

Taehyung shakes his shoulders out. “I went on a hunt this morning with Jeongguk.”

A pleased smile stretches across her face. “That’s good to hear. Come with me, then. I’m about to head to the dining hall now.”

“I thought Appa wanted zero pack responsibilities for a few days?”

His mother rolls his eyes behind the cup she brings to her mouth. “Your father can do whatever he wants. Balance and breaks are important, but responsibilities are responsibilities. The pack needs to eat, and those who need help, need help.” 

Taehyung nods along. “I suppose before you go out then, I announced that Jeongguk will be mated. To another alpha.”

His mother visibly freezes. The cup remains hovering in front of her face for a moment before she slowly places it into the counter. Nerves shoot up in Taehyung as he notices how guarded his mother’s face is when she looks at him again.

Usually, that means he’s in trouble.

“Jeongguk asked that I lie,” Taehyung quickly explains. He tucks his hands beneath his armpits, hugging himself tightly. “He said he received many gifts of intentions yesterday, and I think it was making him uncomfortable.”

The sigh that his mother lets out confirms that she’s angry, but it’s not towards him like he worried. “Mate of the second has always been a highly coveted position, in every pack, but Jongyul has started making promises for anyone who ends up with his son.”

Taehyung straightens at that, his face crumpling. “What kind of promises?”

His mother shakes her head in annoyance. “Your father and him are not as traditional as the leaders before them. Jongyul has a more active role in the politics of it all, and since he goes with your father to the city often, he also has a home there. He has his own money. And with Jeongguk headed to university, I have heard quite a few arguments from the others that they would also like their first pup to attend some day in the future if that is a tradition that will continue. I didn’t realize how many of the wolves your age wanted to further their education.”

Taehyung refrains from commenting on that for now. His mother already knows he believes anyone should be able to go, that it wouldn’t lead to a less cohesive pack. He’s more surprised that it’s been expressed to her, as many of the older wolves look at wanting to be away from the pack as disloyal and are quick to scold anyone for mentioning it. 

“I suppose it is my fault he was bombarded when he returned. I told each wolf that approached me that it would be his choice.”

Taehyung shuffles, feeling unsettled. He doesn’t want his mother to see, so he cocks his head and grins. “Should I be a bit offended that the mate of the second is more coveted than the mate of the alpha?”

It gets his mother to laugh. Head throwing back, she gently slaps Taehyung’s shoulder in discipline. “Oh, honey, we’ve been getting requests ever since you turned of age. Before that. But your disinterest in finding a mate is something that is well known. You don’t hide that well.”

He’s more relieved by that than he should be, and his mother looks at him like she knows. “Jeongguk asked that I don’t actually mate him with an alpha, so now I have to come up with something that doesn’t make him look bad.”

“Simple,” his mother responds without hesitation. She plants her cup to the counter and pats his cheek. “Either your father or I will say that we disagree with this plan or we had a prior agreement you weren’t aware of.”

Taehyung despises that, but he keeps his lips folded to keep himself from saying so out loud.

“Which, I do think your father does honestly,” she whispers, watching in the direction of her bedroom as if she doesn’t want his father to overhear. “He says he doesn’t, but he’s bad at lying to me. But when I told him of Jongyul, he replied, ‘Jeongguk’s mate won’t need those things.’”

Taehyung’s heart strikes his throat. Two fists, punching as hard as possible. He feels like he chokes on his own tongue because of it. If that’s true, who the hell does his father plan on mating with Jeongguk and why doesn’t Taehyung know? If it’s true, does Jeongguk know?

He had started to cool off a bit, but now he’s on fire again. 

“Either way, we’ll take care of it, little one. Now come on, come to the dining hall with me so your father can stop pretending he isn’t dying to be on that cellphone of his.”

Taehyung does help at the dining hall, but not like he normally does. He is approached by members of the pack, but it goes pretty smoothly. Even if he feels like he’s being watched by his mother, the requests he’s handed are easy. The harder ones are wolves who come to him to just complain about someone else for reasons that Taehyung finds slightly amusing, but Taehyung really only has to listen and nod along to those ones like he’s always watched his parents do. 

But unexpectedly, no one approaches Taehyung about his statement the night before. He should get on his knees and thank the universe for listening to his desperate pleas, but he doesn’t get to feel much relief.

Nearly since the moment he entered the dining hall, he’s had to witness Jeongguk be approached by other wolves with food in their hands that they offer him. It annoys Taehyung to no end because if they paid attention, they’d know Jeongguk doesn’t eat more than a few stolen bites here and there until the pups have had their fill. 

It means Taehyung’s ridiculous statement that he now has to fix didn’t work, and Taehyung has half the mind to drag Jeongguk back to the city a week early. 

That thought alone has Taehyung closing his eyes when he’s supposed to be listening to another wolf complain about their neighbor’s smelly flowers. It’s absolutely absurd to think of such a thing that Taehyung turns the annoyance he feels onto himself. He thinks he should ban any conversation about mating from here on out because he’s never been so constantly frustrated about it.

Usually, as soon as the thought pops into his head, he shoves it away without brewing over it. But the last few days, that’s all Taehyung’s done and it’s starting to really affect his mood. 

“Go eat,” his mother whispers, a hand to his back. She offers the wolf that talks to Taehyung a soft smile. “I’ve got this.”

His mother is freeing him from this conversation, and part of Taehyung wants to argue that it’s his responsibility, he needs to prove himself. But the loudest part has him nodding in gratitude and separating himself in a way he hopes doesn’t look eager. 

Or predatory because that’s kind of how Taehyung feels as he crosses over the dining hall and inserts himself with the pups. There’s eyes on him and instant excited chatter from the little ones, who move about to make space for him but end up knocking into each other and bickering about who Taehyung should sit next to.

Taehyung sits directly across from Jeongguk, beside Soonyoung’s pup. He almost sits next to him, but that would be too much. Just wanting to makes him feel ridiculous.

“Hey pup,” Taehyung coos, tickling beneath the pup’s chin. The hair sticks up on the back of his neck because he can practically feel Jeongguk’s eyes on him. “I heard you climbed a tall tree. That was very brave.”

The pup’s eyes widen, and there’s a flash of fear in them. “It was very scary, but Seokmin-hyung saved me.”

“He’s a good wolf. While I’m in the city, you can go to him, yeah? He likes to play hide and seek, too. But no more climbing trees that high, okay? Especially if you’re alone.”

The pup grabs Taehyung’s arm, nodding furiously. “Never again. I peed my pants.”

Taehyung swallows down his amusement so as not to offend the pup. His eyes naturally stray to Jeongguk, who looks away the moment their eyes meet like he’s suddenly realized there’s someone standing beside him, trying to get his attention. 

Another wolf with more food. Jeongguk’s jaw ticks, the only sign of his annoyance. But this time, and Taehyung knows because he had been constantly watching even if he tried not to, Jeongguk accepts the food with a nod of the head.

The other wolf beams, like a star bursting across the sky and hitting Taehyung straight in the face because suddenly his ears are burning again. Jeongguk looks a bit awkward holding the plate in his hands, but then he’s stretching forward and placing it in front of Taehyung.

If the other wolf reacts, Taehyung isn’t sure. He keeps a hold of Jeongguk’s gaze as Jeongguk jerks his chin towards him. 

He must be really fed up, Taehyung thinks, because it’s quite an insult to accept an offering and give it away. Especially so quickly. Jeongguk doesn’t even look back to the other wolf but turns to the pup on his right. It’s odd behavior for Jeongguk because the only person he’s typically rude to is Taehyung.

But it seems to be more effective because no other wolf approaches Jeongguk, and Taehyung’s ears burn throughout breakfast for a completely different reason despite the fact that Jeongguk doesn’t even make eye contact with him again after that.

Taehyung lingers as Jeongguk instructs the pups to head to the schoolhouse and stands out of the dining hall watching to make sure they do. He still doesn’t say anything as he turns to venture back inside the dining hall.

“That was pretty rude of you.”

Jeongguk finally looks at him, but his gaze drops first to the hand Taehyung plants to his chest. He lifts his brows, head tilting as if he is confused. “You hadn’t eaten yet.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Neither have you. And it was a gift for you.”

“It was just food,” Jeongguk argues. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does if there’s intent,” Taehyung reminds him, frowning because everyone knows that. Every wolf in their pack has gone through the awkward stage after learning about courting where sharing food suddenly becomes confusing. They were still friends when they had gone through it, and Taehyung needs a dozen more pairs of hands to count all the times food sharing with Jeongguk had caused him to get flustered and embarrassed. 

When Jeongguk looks past him and steps forward, Taehyung expects him to walk off without another word. But he does look back to Taehyung again, his eyebrows still screwed together as his tongue runs over his bottom teeth. Taehyung tries not to follow the movement, but his eyes naturally fall to it.

They just snap back up when Jeongguk places a hand to his hip and says, “You look as if you’re about to scold me now, but you looked quite pleased when I gave the plate to you instead.”

Oh crap. Was he making a face? Taehyung assumed the only thing on his face was surprise because that’s how he genuinely felt. “Your father has been making promises for anyone who mates with you. A home in the city, money, an education for your pups. You know the intent behind these offerings.”

Jeongguk’s fingers briefly squeeze around Taehyung before he goes rigid. His face slowly morphs into actual confusion, and a bit of rage as the wrinkle between his eyebrows grows quite angry. “What?”

“I’m assuming that’s suddenly why it’s nonstop,” Taehyung whispers. He moves his grip to Jeongguk’s bicep because the look on his face makes Taehyung worried he’s going to storm off. “Come with me. If I get you something to eat, will you give it away?”

“No,” Jeongguk replies offhandedly, still working his jaw in irritation. At least he comes with Taehyung though and doesn’t go off to confront his father. Not that Taehyung would blame him for doing so, but he’s not sure if he was supposed to reveal that bit of information.

It is normal for Jeongguk to head into the back of the dining hall after he’s taken care of the pups, so that is where Taehyung guides him. There’s not many wolves left inside anyway, but the cooks have taken their turn to eat so it’s the best place to be alone.

“You don’t actually have to -” Jeongguk starts when Taehyung grabs a plate, but Taehyung dismisses him with a wave of his hand. The food is still out across the grills, the covers keeping enough heat in that Taehyung doesn’t worry Jeongguk only ever eats the gone-cold leftovers.

“If I weren’t me,” Taehyung says, trying to come off casual as he fills Jeongguk’s plate, “That could have caused a fight.”

Jeongguk leans against a prep counter, his arms crossed over his chest. Taehyung kind of wants to rub at his jaw until he relaxes. He’s strong enough that Taehyung wouldn’t be surprised if he could break his own jawbone with how tense it is. “ Am I being scolded?”

“I’m just saying. I foresee a fight breaking out. Just be careful.”

Taehyung moves along the grill towards the vegetables as Jeongguk pads across the space between them. He tightens his grip around the plate just in case Jeongguk tries to take it away from him, but Jeongguk doesn’t. 

“You anticipate wolves fighting over me?”

There’s nothing but curiosity in Jeongguk’s voice, but Taehyung knows him well enough that he too has to be careful so he doesn’t bring out that smug grin of Jeongguk’s. “Don’t let it go to your head, either. You might ruin your polite, good boy Jeongguk reputation.”

Jeongguk bites the tip of his tongue, following after Taehyung as he makes his way down the line. “I don’t care too much about that.”

Taehyung almost laughs. He raises a brow as he drops the plate to the next table. Jeongguk can pick out his own bread. “No?”

The only response Taehyung gets is a hum as Jeongguk looks pointedly at his plate. Jeongguk’s lips twitch as if that smug grin is about to make an appearance, but he seems to fight it down before he says, “Will you present me my plate, Alpha?”

Taehyung’s stomach tightens. He swallows thickly, grabbing the closest bread without thinking about it and unceremoniously drops it in the middle of his plate. “It isn’t offered with the same intentions,” he clarifies as he hands the plate to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk makes a face at that as Taehyung cusses mentally at himself because, what the hell? Obviously. The assurance wasn’t necessary. 

“No? Then why are you worried if I give it away?”

Taehyung parts his mouth a few times before he pushes Jeongguk in the shoulder. “I was just teasing.”

“I wouldn’t,” Jeongguk replies as if he’s now trying to be the one to assure him. It confuses Taehyung, causing him to halt in his attempt to just do something with his hands. Jeongguk breaks the meat with his fingers, bringing one piece to his mouth as he holds out the other for Taehyung. “Good thing you’re you. A fight won’t break out if I give everything to you.”

Taehyung’s heart is back in his throat, but he is thankful that Jeongguk offers him the food so he doesn’t have to respond. He just hates that Jeongguk watches his mouth as he wraps it around the piece, and he doesn’t put his own into his mouth until Taehyung is already chewing. 

“My mother says she’ll fix it, so you don’t have to worry about it,” Taehyung murmurs as Jeongguk licks his fingers. “Or we - or we could go back to the city early if you wanted.”

Surprise takes over Jeongguk’s expression, but it’s quick to turn accusing like always as he brings another piece of food up for Taehyung to take. “You made it very clear to me that you are dreading being there with me.”

The piece is big, tougher. Taehyung covers his mouth as he chews and tries to respond because Jeongguk barely looks at his plate, his eyes are latched on him expectantly. 

It’s only been one full day, and Taehyung had been excited to come home for the short time before they actually have to remain in the city. But he’s been nothing but annoyed here. 

“Yeah, well.” Taehyung doesn’t know what to say. He waves Jeongguk off as he moves the plate between them as if offering Taehyung to take his own. “I like to hide.”

He shouldn’t admit it outloud, to Jeongguk, but the words leave his mouth before he realizes how crappy of an alpha he sounds like. But Jeongguk doesn’t use that against him, only nods.

“I know. I knew you would go to the river this morning.”

Taehyung snaps his head to look at Jeongguk. “You were waiting for me?”

“Mm.” Jeongguk’s cheeks bulge as he chews, his mouth shiny with the grease from the meat. His face contorts like he’s being pleasured, head bobbing in satisfaction before he swallows. “Have more. It’s good.”

Taehyung ignores him. “Why were you waiting for me?”

Jeongguk sighs, eyes rolling. “Because I figured it’d be the easiest way to convince you to hunt with me. If you were already in the forest, and I got you to chase me.”

“Oh.” 

A grin tugs at Jeongguk’s lips as he looks over Taehyung. “What? Were you hoping I’d say I wanted to bathe with you?”

The grills must be still on and opened, Taehyung thinks. He refrains from using his hand as a fan though he’s suddenly very hot. He’s bathed with wolves before, with a river full of them, but Jeongguk has implication in his tone like it’s, like it’s -

Taehyung shakes his head, gritting his teeth. He doesn’t want to think about it. “No. Of course not.”

Jeongguk only shrugs in response. He lifts up his last piece of meat, not giving Taehyung an option on taking it as he practically presses it against his mouth and holds his other hand beneath his chin to catch any drops of grease. “I enjoyed hunting with you, you know. I think there’s hope for us after all.”

He wipes a thumb over Taehyung’s lips the moment they’re closed and brings it to his own mouth. Taehyung chokes and scrambles for a napkin, his cheeks bulging with how big of a bite Jeongguk just gave him. He quickly tries to swallow it down, to come up with a retort, but with each bite, his face grows hotter.

What the hell. Taehyung may not know what the fuck is going on with himself, but he isn’t going to let Jeongguk keep doing this. Making his face hot, even if he’ll deny that’s the reason even to his own brain. Especially because there’s that glint in his eyes.

“Mm,” Taehyung manages, sounding less teasing than he intends as he finally swallows the rest of the meat. “I did quite enjoy how you submitted to me.”

He intends to knock Jeongguk down a notch, but Jeongguk looks completely unbothered. He stretches an arm back, stepping aside, and doesn’t argue like Taehyung anticipates. “Only in wolf form.”

Taehyung frowns, body turning as Jeongguk moves past him to discard his plate. “What does that mean?”

“Can’t shift in the city,” Jeongguk responds. He returns, grabbing another napkin that he hovers over Taehyung’s face before Taehyung begrudgingly allows him to wipe at his cheek. “I’d put up more of a fight if you try to pin me down like that again.” 

It’s a challenge. A ridiculous one that Taehyung falls into just like he always does. “See, I think you would submit to me just as easily. We rely on instincts as wolves, no? It was your instinct that made you submit to me.”

Jeongguk contemplates this with his head cocked to the side. “Mm. Other things drive us as humans, little alpha.”

He doesn’t elaborate, and Taehyung is slightly thankful that he doesn’t because his mind strays to a place that surely Jeongguk can’t mean. It makes him feel less like the grill is causing the heat in his cheeks, but as if the cause is a volcano erupting in his stomach. 

“We’ll see about that, Jeongguk,” Taehyung calls, pushing off the counter because he needs to get outside and cool down. “Try not to start any fights while we’re here.”

“Or what?” Jeongguk calls, grin on full display now. He doesn’t follow after Taehyung as he makes his leave, but his eyes follow him. “I can’t control what other wolves do, Tae.”

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek roughly. “Like I said, you’ll ruin your good boy reputation.”

Jeongguk shrugs, looking away from him. “I don’t care what people think about me anymore, Taehyung.”

At the door, Taehyung hesitates. It’s said simply, but Taehyung wonders how loaded it is. If Jeongguk means it the way his brain takes it, or if he just means it in general. But he knows for a fact it’s important to Jeongguk that the pack doesn’t see him as a traitor, so he can’t mean it too generally.

One of the reasons Taehyung has hated being back home is because he’s become such an overthinker, after years of being able to shove things aside he seems to have lost the ability to do so. And that’s exactly what could be happening now, though he can’t help the part of him that is envious if Jeongguk does mean what he thinks he could mean.

“Don’t be so formal. I am your alpha. I will pin you down again to remind you if that’s what it takes.”

Amusement shines on Jeongguk’s face as he bows his head. “Whatever you say, Alpha .”

Chapter Text

I’m the strongest pup in the pack, and there’s a reason everyone calls you ‘little’ alpha, no?”

Taehyung grits his teeth before he flies forward, arms out before they wrap tight around Jeongguk. “If you focused on fighting rather than talking shit, maybe you’d actually beat me for once.”

It’s like a routine. Jeongguk and him wander off into the forest to search for whatever is on the list they’ve been given that day, but their mission gets quickly forgotten once they’re far enough away that they actually feel alone. Once they get to that point, Taehyung always gets this feeling in his stomach that he can’t quite explain, and he has tried. Seokmin looked at him like he was talking complete nonsense because it’s a good feeling yet sounds like an uneasy one, and it grows even when he and Jeongguk are tackling each other to the ground.

Today is no different. The feeling bursts inside of Taehyung, a giddiness rising inside of him as Jeongguk’s back hits the ground. He doesn’t feel the same sense of satisfaction he does when he’s a wolf, nothing quite close to the feeling of victory that comes with pinning such a strong wolf down, but it is satisfaction all the same. 

“Talking shit is fun,” Jeongguk grunts, his legs coming up in an attempt to trap Taehyung like he does when he wants to flip them. “You get grumpy cute.”

Taehyung continues to struggle to keep his body over Jeongguk’s, that satisfaction inside of him growing when he gets Jeongguk’s arms pinned successfully. “What the hell is grumpy cute?”

“What your face is doing right now,” Jeongguk giggles. He knocks his head back, breathing hard, like he’s about to give in, but Taehyung knows him. Knows Jeongguk will look like he’s taking a break just to throw him off and get the upper hand so he tightens his grip and adjusts his legs so they’re also pinning Jeongguk down. “You can’t help that you’re so small. Don’t be so offended.”

Okay, Taehyung has always been a little small. But he’s starting to hit a growth spurt, his bones have been aching. Plus, size doesn’t necessarily mean anything because Jeongguk isn’t the largest pup yet he is the strongest one. He’s seen his mother take down wolves double her size because she has alpha blood pumping through her body, and his grandfather was a small man but took down the large, strong Jeon wolf at the time with ease. 

“If I’m so small and weak, how come it’s so easy to get you like this?” Taehyung cocks his head tauntingly, his fingers flexing around Jeongguk to prove his point. Jeongguk isn’t fighting back at all, just laying beneath him. “I’m stronger than you. Just admit it, Guk-ah.”

Jeongguk stretches beneath him like he’s adjusting, and Taehyung is momentarily distracted by the length of his neck as he tilts his head back. There’s a thick vein there that Taehyung’s spent some time eyeing for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, but his face always burns like he’s been standing in the sun for too long when he does. It creates that feeling in his stomach too, which Taehyung really doesn’t get because it’s just a neck. He has one, everyone does. It’s such a weird thing to stare at.

But Taehyung is.

“I’ll never admit that,” Jeongguk replies, a warning that catches Taehyung’s attention. He braces himself for Jeongguk to try and lurch his body upwards, but he doesn’t truly think . 

Before Jeongguk can counterattack, Taehyung darts forward and snaps his teeth around the side of Jeongguk’s throat. 

He thinks he growls with it, but it sounds quiet compared to the groan Jeongguk lets out the moment his teeth dig into his skin. It doesn’t sound pained, so Taehyung doesn’t let go when Jeongguk’s hands come up to his shoulders like he still might fight back. He doesn’t want to, his heart racing as he breathes in the scent of Jeongguk in time with realizing he can taste him too.

Instead of pushing him off, Jeongguk’s fingers flex around his shoulders as Taehyung nudges his teeth in warning. His growl is louder this time, but it still sounds foreign to him. There’s something different to it, but then, Taehyung thinks maybe another wolf has possessed his body anyway when his tongue drops to get a better taste.

As soon as his tongue makes contact with Jeongguk’s skin though, Taehyung unlatches and springs upwards. Nerves pound through him as he tries to wrap his head around what he did, as he eyes the spit and teeth indents on Jeongguk’s throat.

Crap, crap, crap. 

Taehyung has never been this nervous. Just last week, he had come face to face with a bear his own size while wandering alone, and he wasn’t as afraid as he is now. His heart beats so hard that surely it can be seen trying to break out of his throat. 

On top of the fear, there’s embarrassment. His face burns with it as he looks down and slowly realizes what he’s done. It doesn’t help that Jeongguk is staring back up at him, his eyebrows furrowed together. Neither one of them move, Taehyung is frozen though he knows he should scramble off of him and apologize. 

It’s different when not in wolf form. Taehyung has wrestled Jeongguk down and pinned his throat with his teeth, and they just got up and wrestled more. Now, Taehyung’s mouth isn’t big enough to pin Jeongguk down. There was no purpose to him sinking his teeth into Jeongguk’s neck other than he felt compelled to.

“I -” Taehyung tries. Jeongguk surely must be able to feel his racing pulse, how hot his body has become because nearly every inch of them is touching and Taehyung hadn’t realized that until now. Now, he’s aware of every bit of Jeongguk against him. “Guk-ah -”

Jeongguk surges forward, throwing Taehyung off. His instincts to fight back kick on, but as soon as Jeongguk has him on his back, he bites into Taehyung’s throat the same way Taehyung had. That swoop in Taehyung’s stomach this time is ten times stronger, and he doesn’t know if his gasp is from that or the sudden sharp pain where Jeongguk bites him. 

He grabs Jeongguk’s forearms, but not to fight him off. He squeezes hard as Jeongguk breathes heavily against his ear, his body radiating just as much heat as Taehyung’s. Which becomes hotter than the sun when Taehyung briefly wonders if Jeongguk can taste him too. 

“Felt good,” Jeongguk whispers against his ear, so quietly that Taehyung wonders if he imagines it. “Can I do it again?”

With how dry Taehyung’s mouth is, he can’t speak, but only nod. He thinks about the times he’s seen wolves bite their mates when they weren’t wrestling, just to claim them or in a way that’s meant to be affectionate. He’s seen marks left behind and always wondered curiously why mates do that.

It’s because it feels good, apparently. Taehyung’s eyes flutter shut as Jeongguk’s teeth scrape over his skin before he bites him again. It isn’t as rough this time, and Taehyung can’t help the groan that leaves him when Jeongguk mouths at his skin without his teeth. It isn’t even a bite, the way Jeongguk’s mouth moves reminds him more of kissing.

He thought he had gotten better at silencing any thoughts he shouldn’t be having about Jeongguk, but there must be ones deep down that he couldn’t reach because why else would he bite him like that? Why else would he allow him to in return? Taehyung doesn’t want to push him off at all, he just knows he has to.

So with a grunt, Taehyung knocks Jeongguk onto his back and fights with himself not to pin him back down the same way. His body throbs with how much he desires doing just that, causing a bit of panic to rise up inside of him because he shouldn’t want to do that at all.

“Sorry, I -” Jeongguk leans up on his hands, looking more winded than he does when they wrestle nonstop. “I just really liked doing that.”

Taehyung bobs his head with each word. “It’s okay. Just - only mates are supposed to do that. And -”

“I know,” Jeongguk grumbles. He jumps to his feet, hands wiping at his front. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Shame takes away anything nice about the swooping feeling. “I did it first. I’m sorry.” 

Jeongguk waves a dismissive hand at him. “Don’t worry about it. You want to go fishing?” 

In truth, Taehyung wants to hide. He wants to go home and slip under his bed, but surely his mother would ask him why. He could go swimming in the river, but Jeongguk will follow. His flight mode has kicked on just as strongly as his fight mode has, yet he doesn’t like it as much.

Fighting is fun, but lately with Jeongguk, it’s been more confusing than anything and Taehyung is frustrated because of it.

“I should get home,” Taehyung says regretfully because Jeongguk’s shoulders fall. “Before it gets dark.”

There’s still a few hours before then, but Jeongguk doesn’t mention that. He only shoves his hands into his pockets and nods. He doesn’t move, and Taehyung doesn’t wait for him to before he runs off and doesn’t stop until he’s inside of his home.

He feels a bit breathless, but he tries not to act it when he realizes his father is inside. He hesitates for a moment, eyes widening when they fall onto him and another wolf that Taehyung doesn’t recognize.

When Taehyung left this morning, his father had left for the city. He wasn’t expecting him back so soon. 

His father looks a bit startled by Taehyung’s bursting in, and Taehyung wonders if he’s flushed because the first thing his father does is plant the back of his hand to his forehead.

“Alright there?” His father murmurs. He cups Taehyung’s cheek next, and Taehyung burns even hotter when his father’s eyes stray to his still throbbing neck. “Alpha Park Joo-ro, from Busan,” his father introduces as his fingers brush over Taehyung’s neck. Right where Jeongguk had bit him. “He’s visiting to discuss business. Go lie down. We’ll talk later, when your mother is home.”

That shame returns, as does that intense desire to hide. Taehyung tries not to be rude by rushing off or seeming too hasty in the way he bows in greeting to Alpha Joo-ro, but as soon as he straightens, he takes off again.

He closes his bedroom door quietly before rushing to the small mirror on his desk. He nearly face plants into the desk when he sees the dark red mark on his throat. He’s embarrassed, ashamed, but that swoop still happens in his stomach again. 

And it keeps happening even when Taehyung has crawled into bed and buries his face into his pillow, trying his best to stop thinking about how much he liked biting Jeongguk and being bitten in turn.

***

Jeongguk isn’t at the river the next morning. Taehyung doesn’t realize that he’s expecting him to be even long after he’s cleaned and his fingers are pruned yet he still doesn’t feel ready to get out of the water. Even being aware of how often he looks to the lines of trees doesn’t clue him into the fact that he’s waiting for Jeongguk to appear. 

It’s not until he’s dried, dressed, and lugging it back home that he becomes aware of it. Because Jeongguk does appear then, and the sense of relief he feels is just surprising as he becomes when Jeongguk literally drops out of nowhere.

He must have been hanging in the trees Taehyung realizes as he grounds himself. He had stumbled back the moment he felt the air move and heard the thud of Jeongguk’s landing. A hand wraps around his elbow too to keep himself from falling though it’s unnecessary, and it doesn’t leave even when Taehyung is steady.

“Hey.” Jeongguk wags his brows and squeezes his fingers around his elbow. “You wanna go for a run?”

Taehyung frowns. “What?”

Jeongguk jerks his head in a random direction. The energy that courses through him is visible in the way he rolls his shoulders over again and bounces up onto his tip toes with each word. “Won’t be able to in the city. Figured we should do it as much as possible now.”

“Were you waiting up in that tree hoping I possibly came this way,” Taehyung starts, words slow, “To ask me to go for a run?”

Jeongguk’s face crumples, and Taehyung wonders if he’s aware that he still has his hand on him, that his fingers are moving restlessly over his skin. “No, I wasn’t.”

“You could have just come to the river,” Taehyung says, head shaking. He can’t tell if Jeongguk is lying or not, and he doesn’t know what to do with that either way. “Since you said you know I go there every morning.”

Jeongguk takes his hand away to cross his arms over his chest. That stupid face comes back, but this time it’s paired with a tongue poking at the corner of his mouth. “Did you want me to join you again?”

Oh god. Taehyung shoves past Jeongguk, their shoulders pushing into each other. “No. That’s not what I meant.”

“I’ll be there tomorrow,” Jeongguk says, following after him. Taehyung holds back his groan. He wishes his face would stop putting the effort into cooling off and just remain burning. That way no one will notice when it suddenly gets red. “So…a run?”

Taehyung twists slightly to look at Jeongguk, who does actually look like he needs to go for a run. He bounces with each step too, his hands shaking by his sides. He doesn’t look nervous or upset, only inquisitive when their eyes meet. “Why do you want to go on a run with me?”

Jeongguk’s shoulders jump, and with how he walks, it looks as if they could crash into his ears. “I don’t want to be around everyone right now, and being with you is the only thing that could reasonably excuse me from my duties.”

A bunch of questions pop into Taehyung’s mind, but he remains quiet and just takes Jeongguk’s expression in until he accepts Jeongguk isn’t going to reveal anything to him that way. “Why?”

Taehyung slows in his step so they don’t get home so quickly, but Jeongguk’s energetic movements cause him to walk past him. He doesn’t seem to realize it at first until he jumps around with surprise on his face and starts to walk backwards. 

“I asked my father about what you said, about the bribing,” Jeongguk explains, shrugging excessively. “It turned into a fight. I nearly shifted on him so I left. That’s why I was in the tree.”

Something surges through Taehyung until he’s taking a forceful step forward, his arm out and hand going for Jeongguk’s arm before he realizes it. “You slept in that tree?”

Jeongguk shrugs again, twisting away from him before Taehyung’s fingers can close around his wrist like he means to do. “If I went to another cabin, there’d be questions. I didn’t want to talk about it.”

Noted. Taehyung presses his lips together to stop himself from doing just that, even though the ones in his head are demanding. He wants to know why they fought, what Jeongguk’s father said that could have led to Jeongguk getting so angry he nearly accidentally shifted. Even without knowing, Taehyung is irritated with him. 

“A couple of yellow throated martens were up there with me,” Jeongguk goes on. “Cute things, you know.”

He keeps walking, but not in the direction of home. When he isn’t bouncing on his toes, he drags his feet and looks down to watch how they move over the ground. Taehyung follows quietly behind him, feeling awkward. 

“Didn’t sleep much, but when I almost did, a bird flew so close to my head and because I was half out of it, it scared the shit out of me.” Jeongguk laughs, looking over his shoulder but there’s no amusement on his face. He looks hesitant when their eyes meet, and Taehyung knows it must be because of how deeply he’s frowning. “So yeah, I don’t want to go back yet. If we get into another fight so soon, I will probably attack him and get banned from going with you.”

Concern fills Taehyung. And a bit of shame because it isn’t any of his business, yet he can’t quiet that demand that pounds through him to ask. “You’d get punished a lot worse than that if you did so, so - so if talking about it helps you calm down…”

He’s horrible at this. His ears burn as he stumbles over his words, which only gets worse when Jeongguk looks genuinely amused in response. 

“There’s no punishment worse than that,” Jeongguk argues, like Taehyung’s comment is completely absurd. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

Taehyung nods, but he’s even more confused than before. He can think of a dozen different punishments he’s seen given out that would be a lot worse than being banned from going to the city. “Okay.”

“My mother doesn’t love him, I reminded him of that,” Jeongguk goes on anyway. He jumps to grab onto a tree branch, swinging for a moment, before he drops to his feet and keeps going. “Which was cruel of me, probably, but whatever. I’m fucking sick of talking about this shit all of the time.”

Me too, Taehyung almost says, but he isn’t just tired of the conversation about himself but Jeongguk too. 

“I might just take you up on your offer to go back to the city early,” Jeongguk says, a spark in his eye. “Coming back here was pointless since I told your father I don’t need any of the accommodations he’s waiting on for me. And at least you won’t talk about it all the time.”

Taehyung nibbles on his bottom lip as Jeongguk actually waits for him to close the space between them this time. “You always bring it up, though. It’s been the only thing we’ve talked about lately it seems.”

Jeongguk kicks at the ground. “Yeah, that’s true. But it’s different with you. Though, I don’t know if I hate it more or - forget it. You’re right.”

Suddenly, there’s a lump in Taehyung’s throat that is too difficult to swallow. He doesn’t think Jeongguk’s ever told him he was right about something, but he isn’t as satisfied as he normally would be. “Different how?” 

Jeongguk glares at him like he’s said something ridiculous. He jogs forward, but not after grabbing Taehyung’s arm to force him to come along. “Run with me, Taehyung. You’re supposed to mediate when wolves have a big enough problem they might fight. Help me calm down.”

With a surprised laugh, Taehyung does jog forward to push Jeongguk gently against the chest. “You’re a shit, you know?”

Jeongguk grins wide. “I know. Come on.” 

They don’t talk. At all. They just run side by side, every now and then racing each other, and it’s…nice. It’s similar to playing and hunting with Jeongguk the day before, though they lose track of time. Taehyung doesn’t realize how long they’ve been running until he’s following Jeongguk back home, dripping with so much sweat that his shirt is soaked and clinging to his body.

Jeongguk is in the same state, and it’s terribly distracting. As Jeongguk jogs ahead of him and runs his hands through his sweaty hair, Taehyung feels like he’s being plowed over with realization that he’s been in the forest a lot longer than he planned. Jeongguk pulls up part of his shirt to dab at his face before taking it off fully. He keeps it in his hand though as he turns and swats Taehyung in the side with it. 

“Hungry,” Jeongguk announces. He jerks his head towards the dining hall. “Eat with me?”

Taehyung hesitates. Two days in a row disappearing in the morning together and then eating together? His ears burn as he remembers how Jeongguk insisted on him eating too even though he already had yesterday, and he’s too embarrassed that he thought about Jeongguk’s fingers against his mouth a lot more than he should have. 

Way more than he should have. 

“I just need water, and then I probably should pack,” Taehyung admits, still panting. “We didn’t only come back to wait for the apartment to be fully finished, but because I have pushed off packing so much we had to come back.”

Jeongguk chuckles. “You have so much shit, it’ll take forever. I can come over and help.”

What is up with him today ? Taehyung is unsure how to answer that, though he considers it may look good to his parents if Jeongguk came over because it’s been years since he has. “You can’t avoid your father forever, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk waves a dismissive hand at him. “I won’t. I just need a day. I haven’t gotten angry to the point I shifted in a long time. Don’t like it.”

A bit of tension seeps through Taehyung, but he shakes it off because Jeongguk could be talking about something else. It has been awhile since their last fight, he could have done it again since then. “I thought you two got along.”

Jeongguk sighs as he presses the wadded up shirt against his throat next. “We do. There’s just some things that I don’t really want to talk about.”

Taehyung nods. He feels awkward again and wishes they were back to running in silence. Side by side at that, so he doesn’t have to look at Jeongguk and the way the sun shines down on his sweaty body. It makes Taehyung feel even more overheated than he already is. “Fine. Fine. You can come over, but if you make one comment about my messy room, I’ll call your father myself.”

He wouldn’t, and horror strikes him for a moment when he realizes that Jeongguk probably doesn’t know that. It comes out teasing like it’s old times again, but thankfully Jeongguk grins when he rolls his eyes like he’s accidentally fallen into that too. “I expect you to be tidy in our apartment. I’m not cleaning up your shit.”

Taehyung grabs Jeongguk’s shirt when he swats at him with it again. He intends to tug it out of his grip, but Jeongguk tightens his own until Taehyung is stumbling over the space between them. “I thought you were my baby -”

Nerves rock through Taehyung as Jeongguk slips an arm around his waist, though he hadn’t stumbled hard. When his words hit his ears, it only gets worse as embarrassment joins in the destroy Taehyung party going inside of him. He plants a hand to Jeongguk’s chest, mind struggling to figure out what he’s even talking about when Jeongguk cocks his head and arches a brow.

“Babysitter,” Taehyung says, ignoring Jeongguk’s face when he pushes into his chest to move away from him. “Doesn’t that require you to clean up after me?”

He’s still trying to joke, to talk shit, but he is well aware that the delivery is horrendous. He just can’t back down or acknowledge it or Jeongguk will run with it.

Well maybe, Taehyung doesn’t know. Jeongguk is looking at him with a bright expression, yet it seems slightly different from his normally amused or smug look. Perhaps a bit distracted, or contemplative, something, with the way he keeps his eyebrows arched and skates his teeth over his bottom lip.

“Don’t tell me you’re that spoiled,” Jeongguk teases, head shaking. He tugs on his shirt again until Taehyung realizes he’s still holding onto it and lets it go. 

Taehyung breathes out as if he’s been holding his breath for hours when Jeongguk finally moves, though towards his cabin instead of the dining hall. He tries not to look around to see who is out, possibly watching them. “No. If my parents came into my room, I’d have hell to pay. But thankfully since that one time my father walked in on me -”

Shit. Taehyung seizes up as Jeongguk barks out a laugh and knocks their shoulders together. “You have to tell me about that one.”

Taehyung pushes into him playfully, embarrassment hitting him hard now. “No chance in Hell. I’m not giving you something to taunt me with.”

Jeongguk gives him a shameless look and doesn’t deny it. “I’ll level the playing field then and admit the same thing happened to me. If we’re talking about what I think you’re talking about.”

“We aren’t talking about anything at all,” Taehyung grunts, wanting to run the rest of the way so they are forced to not talk about anything because his parents will be near. But Jeongguk cups a hand to his shoulder like he can tell. 

“Fine, fine. No need to be embarrassed though, Tae. Nothing wrong with masturbating.”

Jeongguk gets close to his face and whispers it, yet Taehyung can’t help but feel as if he screamed it for the entire pack to hear. He even swears an elder wolf a few yards off looks at them just then because she did.

“Shut up,” Taehyung hisses, tapping his palm to Jeongguk’s chest in scolding. “I swear you must have gotten into the plants the Healer always warns us to avoid at all costs this morning.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, still smiling. “No. I just - having fun and clinging onto it.”

He says it simply, shoulders shrugging again. He does seem a bit better than before they started to run, and Taehyung gets it. He doesn’t often fight with his parents, but there have been times he’s been so upset that he’d cling to anything that temporarily washed away the knots in his chest.

“Well, if you want to pack, that isn’t very fun,” Taehyung replies, trying to get the subject as far away from masturbation as possible. The incident he almost mentioned is one he had told Seokmin about, who hadn’t hesitated to ask him the kind of questions that would make him pass out if Jeongguk asked him. “Plus, you said you’re hungry.”

“Trying to get rid of me? I promise no more masturbation comments.”

It’s also said simply, the glint is still there, but Taehyung still hesitates. There’s a weird conflict going on in his mind that is mostly just because he’s a bit overwhelmed, kind of confused, still feeling a bit awkward and angry that Jeongguk slept in a tree the night before because his father upset him that much.

He upset him so much that he’d much rather go to Taehyung’s room than be anywhere near his father.

“Ever,” Taehyung clarifies with a pointed finger. “My parents hear everything.”

Jeongguk giggles, his hand coming up quickly to cover his mouth. “Well, that’s on you then for jacking off while they were home.”

It takes Taehyung a moment before he realizes what Jeongguk is saying and he once again pushes him in retaliation. It only makes Jeongguk laugh harder, probably because the embarrassment must be obvious on his face though he tries really hard to mask it. Jeongguk doesn’t wrestle him back, though he does grab onto Taehyung’s forearms as he stumbles backwards.

They do that the rest of the way to Taehyung’s cabin. Thankfully, Jeongguk stops with his jokes when they actually get close enough to be heard from outside, but his face is pink from laughing and the amusement is still loud in his tone when he greets his parents.

It just dies quickly because there’s a tension between his parents that’s so obvious that Jeongguk must see it too.

“Jeongguk came over to help me pack,” Taehyung tells them guardedly, waving to Jeongguk beside him like indicating him is necessary. “Um, we were thinking about heading back earlier than planned.”

Definitely something, Taehyung thinks as his parents share a look that isn’t as discreet as they probably intended for it to be. They didn’t actually agree to go back early, Taehyung didn’t give it any thought either, but Jeongguk doesn’t act surprised or bothered after he says it.

“I can arrange that. Can I just speak to you for a moment, son?”

Jeongguk’s expression is blank as he nods in greeting once more, his fingers slipping over Taehyung’s back before he heads off towards his bedroom. It would be an unsettling feeling normally, he never imagined having Jeongguk in his house again, let alone his bedroom, but right now it’s overshadowed by the dread that’s coming down onto him from his parents' expressions.

As soon as there’s the echo of his room door shutting, Taehyung’s father stands and nears. “Jeongguk’s father came over looking for him this morning.”

Something surges inside of Taehyung again, and this time, it’s a bit more familiar. It feels like when he gets overprotective of Seokmin, and it’s strong enough that Taehyung doesn’t even care that it’s about Jeongguk right now.

“Jongyul said Jeongguk was quite angry. Nearly shifted,” his father whispers as his mother looks at him with wide, worried eyes. “But he refused to tell me what could have possibly happened to lead Jeongguk to attack his father.”

There’s a ringing in Taehyung’s ears. He’s supposed to be Jeongguk’s best friend, it will be expected that since they’re together right now, Jeongguk told him what happened. He knows his father is going to ask him before his mouth even forms the words. 

“He wouldn’t have,” Taehyung says, and it sounds as defensive as he feels. He has no clue, but he thinks in his gut he knows because it doesn’t feel like a lie. “And he told me he just doesn’t want to talk about it. He left last night to catch his breath, and I - I told him he could come here to do the same.”

Part of Taehyung expects his parents to lecture him about how Jeongguk can’t avoid and hide because they tell him that quite often. But his father nods, and he sees his mother doing the same out of the corner of his eye. 

“Is that why you two want to return early?”

Taehyung doesn’t know how to answer that one. A few hours is one thing, but going back to the city for months without talking to his father is a different story, and Taehyung no longer knows Jeongguk well enough to know if it’s even a possibility that he’d avoid his father that long. He just knows his parents would disagree with it. “No. I - I want to.”

His father nods again and squeezes his arms. When he pulls back, there’s a relaxed smile on his face. “I know hearing the pack’s complaints is hard, but you can’t run to the city every few days to escape it, Taehyung.”

His mother snorts, waving her hand. “Ignore him, my dear. Your father does exactly that. That’s why he’s gone so often. Now go on, be with Jeongguk. It is better for him to stay away and calm down. I’ll be more than happy to stand between him and Jongyul if need be.”

Taehyung gives his mother a grateful smile, though he’s a bit panicked at the idea of that being necessary. He’s a bit desperate to leave so he only hesitates a moment before he flies out of the room, uncaring if his desperation is obvious or that he had meant to get Jeongguk food as soon as they arrived.

The tension doesn’t leave him as he slips into his room because Jeongguk was in here a few minutes by himself, and he could have done anything. He also braces himself because Jeongguk is smart enough to suspect that they were talking about him, but thankfully he isn’t doing anything nor does he say anything when Taehyung enters.

He just sits on the edge of Taehyung’s bed, his forearms propped on his knees as he waits for him.

“You don’t actually have to help,” Taehyung tries as he gently closes the door behind him. He doesn’t really like the idea of Jeongguk touching all of his clothes because he’s trying to avoid Jeongguk’s scent getting on them. “I still have some snacks in my bag if you want them.”

Jeongguk looks around before he leans over the bed and grabs the bag propped at the end. “I’m surprised you even let me in here.”

It’s good that Jeongguk isn’t bringing up the awkwardness with his parents, but Taehyung still wants to die. He turns his back to Jeongguk to hide his face, hands moving out in front of him uselessly because he doesn’t even know where to start when it comes to packing. There’s a reason he barely brought anything the first time.

“I’m regretting it,” Taehyung says jokingly, though it’s not quite a lie. He had been bothered when there was only a hint of Jeongguk’s scent in his room, and now it’s worse than ever with him actually in here, covered in his drying sweat. “Don’t lay on my bed.”

Everything in the laundry bin is clean, but Taehyung doesn’t want to start there because Jeongguk’s not thrown out shirt is in there. He strips off the sweaty shirt he wears and dumps it in so Jeongguk thinks it’s dirty and grabs something else to throw on.

There’s a crinkling of a bag that draws Taehyung’s attention, and he finds Jeongguk’s eyes following after him as he moves around the room. He warms all over, suddenly regretting inviting Jeongguk because even if he doesn’t want Jeongguk to help him, he also doesn’t want Jeongguk watching him. 

“I might,” Jeongguk replies, but he doesn’t look teasing at all when he says it. He’s still looking at him as Taehyung tugs his shirt down and runs his hands beneath the band of his sweatpants to tuck it beneath. “And then we could have a big barbeque because I’m sure you’d set fire to the bed.”

Taehyung laughs, the tension in him relaxing some. Especially because Jeongguk looks away from him to dig into the bag and when he looks at him again, his eyes aren’t as intense. “Probably.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes but shoves chips into his mouth instead of responding. When he stretches back, Taehyung does worry he’s going to ignore him and lay on his bed, but he doesn’t. 

It would be more proper of him to offer Jeongguk the bed to nap since he said he hadn’t slept, but if he makes his sheets smell like him then it will be Taehyung that won’t be getting any sleep. 

“I can already hear your father now,” Jeongguk murmurs, his face crumpling before his voice changes into something deeper, “‘This bed is a luxury, Taehyung-ah. There was once a time us wolves had nothing but the grass beneath our feet to lay our heads on.’”

The impersonation is so spot on that a surprised laugh rips from Taehyung. “He actually has said that, even though we’ve had this house here for generations,” Taehyung says as he heaves his suitcase in front of his wardrobe. “And I’m sure the temperature controlling mat he grew up sleeping on was considered a luxury to his parents as well.”

“He lectures you, yet you’re the most spoiled wolf.” Jeongguk tuts his teeth and shakes his head disapprovingly. “Why do you need so many pants?”

Taehyung whips his head to the now opened wardrobe and the cubes of rolled pants at the bottom. There’s various colors and materials but he isn’t going to explain it all to Jeongguk because he knows Jeongguk is just going to continue to tease him.

Plus, Jeongguk is right. Taehyung has a bit of a shopping problem when he goes into the city, as does his father. But it isn’t only Taehyung that gets new things when his father returns, so he wouldn’t call himself spoiled . If he is, then Jeongguk definitely is too because his father always has something for him as well. 

“I see you’re about to argue,” Jeongguk interrupts before Taehyung can get a word out. He jumps to his feet, the bag of chips swinging around him as he brings a few more to his mouth. “Or get defensive. ‘It’s called fashion, Jeon.’”

Taehyung presses his lips together hard as he swats at Jeongguk, but he knows his smile shines through. “You’re not that great at impersonations.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Are any of these gifts?”

Taehyung hesitates for a moment before he shakes his head. Jeongguk seems to wait for it as he drops the bag as soon as he does and reaches inside of the wardrobe.

As much as he does not want Jeongguk touching his clothes, he also doesn’t want Jeongguk to know and ask why. So Taehyung remains silent as Jeongguk grabs a pair of pants and holds them up to his body. He glances down at himself before looking up at Taehyung with a beaming smile.

“Aren’t these the same ones you’re wearing now?”

Taehyung snatches the pants and hastily rolls them again. He considers offering Jeongguk a shirt to wear since his sweaty one is still rolled up on his bed, but he can’t choose one to part with. “If you’re going to keep making fun of me, you can leave.”

Jeongguk ignores him and grabs a sweater next that he holds out for the both of them. “I like this sweater the most. I always wondered if it was as soft as it looks.” 

There’s a ringing in Taehyung’s ears as he watches Jeongguk’s fingers stroke over the material. It’s nothing special, a simple tan sweater that isn’t actually very warm, but it is soft. He just hasn’t worn it in forever, and he’s not sure what to make of Jeongguk having a favorite out of his sweaters.

“It is,” Jeongguk confirms before he directs it towards the suitcase in question. He waits until Taehyung nods before he folds it and gently piles it beside the suitcase. “What else - oh, you still have this?”

Jeongguk tugs another sweater free, one that Taehyung hasn’t worn in years . One that Taehyung almost got rid of after he and Jeongguk had fought but he decided to put it at the far end of his wardrobe and pretend not to see it until he became so used to its presence that he no longer noticed it.

It’s a simple red and black tie dye hoodie, but Jeongguk had made it when their tutor had brought a bunch of supplies for all the pups to learn how to tie dye. Taehyung remembers the day well because it had been fun, the weather was perfect, and Jeongguk gifted him the hoodie in front of every pup their age. 

Right after scenting it.

He hadn’t done that part in front of anyone, but after washing it and waiting for it to dry, it probably should have smelt like detergent or maybe even the dye still. But it was soaked in Jeongguk’s scent, and at the time, that made Taehyung like it even more . Even though it was one of the things that started to make his thoughts spiral because it was given to him at the time they were learning about gifts and scenting and mates. 

“Looks like it still fits too,” Jeongguk murmurs more to himself than anything before he folds the hoodie and places it on top of the other without asking Taehyung. “I didn’t think you’d keep it.”

Taehyung nibbles on the inside of his lip. “Does that mean you threw out the shirt I made you?”

Jeongguk glares at him. “No. I have everything you’ve given me.”

Shit. This is a territory that Taehyung didn’t mean to venture into. Even though he’s supposed to be folding his clothes and packing them, he doesn’t know what to do with himself for a moment because he isn’t going to respond to that. He isn’t going to think about that either. 

“Are you bringing this one?” Jeongguk asks, his hands moving over a few shirts before he grabs on one like he too is trying to divert away from what he said. “You might not want to bring too many clothes since I’m sure you’ll buy more.”

Taehyung is thankful for the subject change. He doesn’t say anything though, only nods and starts grabbing random pants to put into his suitcase.

By the time they’re done folding clothes and Taehyung intends to start on some of his books and trinkets he wants to take with him, Jeongguk looks like he’s going to drop. He sits on the edge of his bed, running his hands over his face every time he yawns. His eyes are heavy, and Taehyung once again reminds himself that it would be polite to offer Jeongguk his bed to sleep. 

But as strange and a bit awkward it is to have Jeongguk here in the first place, it would be ten times so if Jeongguk was just sleeping in his room. Taehyung has a battle in his mind over it because that’s going to be normal when they share an apartment together, especially if Jeongguk takes the couch like he’s insisted on doing, but he can’t get the words out of his mouth. 

“Why do you have so much stuff?” Jeongguk groans as he slips off the bed to sit with his back against the edge. He hugs his arms around his legs as he leans his head back, looking as if he may fall asleep like that. “I just noticed you have two more suitcases over there.”

Taehyung grins as he eyes the empty suitcases. He really has pushed off packing, and it’s for that exact reason. He has so much shit, and he doesn’t want to part with any of it. Even if he’s not really getting rid of it since it will all remain here while he’s gone. “I told you that you didn’t have to help.”

Jeongguk only hums in response, his eyes now closed. “I want to.”

Instead of getting up, Jeongguk rolls to the ground. He shifts around, tucking one hand beneath his head. He faces Taehyung’s bed, the space between the frame and the floor, and it’s worse than if he were getting himself comfortable on the actual mattress.

There are things Taehyung has stored beneath his bed that he doesn’t want anyone to see, and if Jeongguk notices even one object down there, his curiosity might have him exploring.

“Lunch is soon,” Taehyung reminds him. “If you don’t want to go to the dining hall, I can make sandwiches.”

Jeongguk stretches and thankfully rolls to his back. He rubs one hand over his stomach while he tucks the other back beneath his head. He still looks sleepy, but also more . Taehyung’s stomach flips when Jeongguk’s fingers fidget over the band of his pants as if he’s making sure they’re in place, and he accidentally ignores the fact that Jeongguk’s eyes are on him while he’s obviously watching Jeongguk touch himself.

When he realizes, he rips his gaze away and heads over to one of his shelves to start packing some of his books.

“Is that what you’re hungry for?”

Taehyung chokes. He bangs weakly at his chest as he tries to clear his throat. “I - yeah, it’s the easiest.”

Jeongguk grunts as he surges upwards. “How likely am I going to get lectured? I figured your father wanted to talk to you about mine.”

“Not likely,” Taehyung assures him. He runs his fingers over the spine of his book and mentally scolds himself when an unsolicited thought of his fingers running over skin pops into his head. “I told him you were here to cool off.”

Jeongguk sighs and falls back down. His arms stretch out around him, and Taehyung nearly throws the book he pulls from the shelf at him when one arm goes under his bed. “I wouldn’t actually attack him, Taehyung.”

Taehyung stares at the hidden arm, making sure it isn’t moving any. He needs to get Jeongguk away from it. “Um, do you want to talk about it now?”

With a frown, Jeongguk shakes his head. “I don’t ever want to talk about it.”

The arm shifts slightly. Taehyung’s words come out more rushed than he intends. “Let’s go eat then.”

Jeongguk’s frown grows a bit deeper, his eyebrows furrowing together before he rolls to his side. Taehyung cusses at himself, his heart beating in his ears when Jeongguk starts to pull his arm out as he sits up.

“What do you have -”

A knock at Taehyung’s window has him gasping, surprise ripping through him. It isn’t good for his heart, and surely it will give out sooner than later, but Taehyung’s still thankful because it pulls Jeongguk’s attention away from whatever he felt. 

“Seok-ah,” Taehyung greets as the window pulls open, revealing Seokmin. There’s no point in blocking the view of his room as he’s sure Seokmin is being assaulted with the scent of Jeongguk coming out of the window. “I’m skipping lunch today.”

The confused look on Seokmin’s face is more than understandable. His eyes dart from Jeongguk to Taehyung, his mouth parting a few times. “How long do we have?”

Taehyung hesitates. He glances back at Jeongguk, but it’s the wrong move. Because distracting Jeongguk wasn’t enough to let go of what he grabbed underneath his bed, and now he sits there, holding one of the carvings that he had gifted Taehyung years ago. 

“What?”

“Before the Earth explodes,” Seokmin explains, a glint appearing in his eyes. He hangs his arms over the sill of the window, leaning further in. “Hey, Guk, didn’t think I’d see you two hanging out ever again.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Helping hyung pack all of his shit. He has so much of it.”

Taehyung feels a bit stuck. He feels the need to explain himself to a curious looking Seokmin or get him to go away because he could say anything , but he also needs Jeongguk to stand up because he rolls down to reach underneath his bed again. 

This time, Jeongguk jerks his hand back roughly, but whatever he has grabbed, Taehyung can’t see as he has their back turned to them and when he does face them again, his hand is shoved into the pocket of his pants. 

Shit, shit, shit. Whatever it is, he doesn’t care if he calls Seokmin’s attention to it, but he doesn’t want Seokmin to see whatever his face does with Jeongguk. 

“But he offered to make sandwiches if you want to join,” Jeongguk goes on as he approaches Seokmin and holds out his free hand to him. “You can have mine.”

They have a handshake. It’s a small one, but it is more than just a fist bump or a pressing of a palms. They even press their thumbs together and twist them.

Jeongguk had said they were friends, but Taehyung didn’t realize he meant actual friends until now.

“No, no, I’m good. Thanks though,” Seokmin replies. “I am happy to see you two hanging out again, you know?”

It’s very unlikely Seokmin will say anything that even hints at what Taehyung confided in him, but Taehyung still panics that he might because he doesn’t look amused and teasing like he normally does. 

Suddenly, being inside of his house feels like a poor decision. Even if Jeongguk wants to hide, Taehyung considers asking him to go back into the forest. He surely can’t leave Jeongguk alone in his room to get some fresh air himself because Jeongguk is too curious for his own good. 

“Schedule me in for dinner,” Taehyung says hurriedly. He leans down and ruffles Seokmin’s hair. “Stars tonight?”

Seokmin grimaces. “I can’t. I have, er, plans. Alright, see you.”

Taehyung makes note of how red Seokmin’s face gets as he ducks away, a proud feeling swelling in his chest. It just isn’t enough to break through the anxiety Taehyung feels as soon as Seokmin is gone. 

“Do you still do that every night? Look at the stars.”

Jeongguk only looks curious, head cocked to the side. Taehyung supposes it’s better than him asking why he still has a carving he made so long ago hidden under his bed. “Ah, yeah, most nights.”

“We can tonight if you’d like,” Jeongguk suggests as he tucks his fists into his pockets, his shoulders hunkering down some. “Remember when we used to hide away on top of the school?”

Taehyung’s heart thumps in his chest. Should he rip Jeongguk’s hand out of his pocket or hope he just doesn’t bring it up? Maybe he took one of his carvings back, and Taehyung would much rather pretend that he doesn’t have them then discuss it. “Are you sticking around all day then?”

Jeongguk grins and twists on his feet. “I’ll be quiet. Make you another carving or something.”

Shit. There it is. Taehyung’s face burns though it isn’t anywhere as bad as he was expecting. He anticipated Jeongguk would ask questions and bring up things Taehyung didn’t want to discuss.

“It must have rolled down there and gotten lost,” Taehyung says, pushing Jeongguk playfully until he takes a step back and falls to the edge of his bed. 

“Oh, probably,” Jeongguk says, unbothered. He grabs Taehyung’s hand with the one he’s had tucked into his pocket before he can step away. His fingers are sticky. “I’m assuming that’s what happened with the oil too.”

Taehyung’s ears catch on fire. He moves to push Jeongguk again, but he uses his strength where he holds onto Taehyung’s arm. He looks much too pleased with himself though if he says another word, he’ll be arrested for the murder of Kim Taehyung.

“There’s no -”

“It leaked down there, by the way,” Jeongguk laughs. He holds up his hand, showing off the oil on his fingers. “There wasn’t a lot, so maybe the bottle was almost empty.”

“Jeongguk -”

Jeongguk wags his brows as he catches Taehyung’s oncoming hand. There’s a challenging look in his eyes, but he has Taehyung stuck without the use of his arms. So Taehyung surges forward until Jeongguk’s arms are pinned against the wall behind him.

The only downsides to Taehyung’s plan are that it forces him to straddle Jeongguk, and the grin on Jeongguk’s face grows.

“You said no comments about this,” Taehyung whispers. “There’s no oil down there.”

“One could possibly assume it’s for hair or skin, but given your reaction…” Jeongguk gives him a pointed look. “What perhaps could you have oil down there for, Alpha?”

Taehyung means to push off Jeongguk, but Jeongguk keeps his hands on his arms and comes with him. It’s even worse of a position, with his legs settled over Jeongguk’s thighs and their torsos practically touching.

And because it just might be a position Taehyung found his daydream self in the last time he used that oil that he must have forgotten to fully snap closed because his hands had been trembling so fiercely.

“You’re an ass.”

Jeongguk lets his arms go, but he rests his hands on the sides of Taehyung’s legs instead. “I said there’s nothing to be embarrassed -”

“You can go,” Taehyung interrupts, moving off of him. For a moment, Jeongguk’s fingers flex down like he’s about to hold Taehyung on his lap, but his hands are gone not a second later. “Go sleep in the tree.”

A laugh rumbles quietly from Jeongguk as he lays down on Taehyung’s bed. A statement that he’s refusing to go, most likely, but Taehyung is already a bit flustered and something else is flaring up inside of him watching Jeongguk shift against his sheets. 

“My lips are sealed.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes. He needs to get out of this room, and he does just that. Uncaring if Jeongguk remains on his bed or gives into his curiosity. He just needs to breathe something else, and he escapes into the kitchen to do just that.

It makes him anxious leaving Jeongguk alone in there, but there’s nothing much worse he can find in his room. His parents are thankfully no longer in the kitchen, so Taehyung takes his time making sandwiches until his heart is calmer and he can get his mind to stop thinking of such absurd things like how Jeongguk’s body felt beneath his own.

When enough time has passed that it’s starting to become obvious that Taehyung is hiding away, he forces himself to grab the plates of food he made and return to his room. His heart rate picks up right before he opens the door because he doesn’t know what he’ll find or what teasing comment he’ll be greeted with, but it settles when he finds Jeongguk asleep.

As much as he hadn’t wanted Jeongguk to sleep on his bed, something relaxing falls upon Taehyung at the sight of Jeongguk asleep. Like a concern he hadn’t known was there has disappeared. 

He settles carefully at his desk, not wanting to make too much noise, and tries not to let his mind spiral too much as he waits for Jeongguk to wake up. 

***

Taehyung didn’t mean to do it again. He really didn’t. His father had spent what felt like hours lecturing him about this, the differences between a bite from another wolf and a bite from a mate. He felt like he was being tortured listening to his father talk about urges and instincts just because Jeongguk had bitten him a little too hard and left a mark.

Thankfully, Taehyung didn’t have to answer any of those questions. His father didn’t once ask him where the mark came from or from who. Taehyung hates lying, but he also doesn’t want to get Jeongguk in trouble. Because he isn’t biting him as a power move or as a mate, Taehyung doesn’t know he just -

Taehyung is so confused, and even more so when he fights so hard to not bite Jeongguk yet finds his teeth secured around the thin skin of his throat anyway.

“Oh.” Jeongguk huffs, his head tilting to the side immediately. He reaches up and holds onto Taehyung’s shoulders, squeezing hard. “Hyung.”

He whines it like he’s in pain. Worry surges through Taehyung as he rips off to inspect Jeongguk’s crumpled face and the shiny skin of his neck. 

There aren’t even teeth marks, but Taehyung nuzzles into the crook of Jeongguk’s neck in apology. Jeongguk’s breathing doesn’t calm, his chest moving roughly against Taehyung’s own. 

When he pulls back to apologize, Jeongguk wraps his hands around his throat to hold him in place as he bites his cheek. 

It’s gentle and a bit ticklish when Jeongguk kneads his teeth against his skin. The soft giggle Jeongguk lets out relieves Taehyung, the tension in his body seeping away as Jeongguk nuzzles against his cheek in turn.

It just comes back as quickly as it had left him when Jeongguk’s mouth brushes over the corner of his own.

He has thought about that before when he’s seen other wolves embrace. When he’s read stories and it was described what it feels like to kiss. Even when it’s just him and Jeongguk, doing nothing, he has thought about it.

And his father had mentioned that too alongside the conversation about urges, about hormones and every other embarrassing thing he didn’t want to hear from his father.

The only difference is his father said it’s normal, that he may find himself wanting to kiss someone or may want to just know what it’s like. There’s nothing wrong with it, unlike a bite.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung whispers, his heart pounding so hard his face is throbbing with it. “I didn’t mean to bite you.”

Jeongguk nods. He already told him everything his father said. “I know.”

“I think I just -“

“I know,” Jeongguk repeats, softer this time. “I wanted to bite you so badly the other day, when that wolf was telling you how handsome you are. It’s wrong to feel that way, I don’t get it either -“

Taehyung presses his lips together tightly, his eyes widening in surprise though he doesn’t remember what Jeongguk is talking about. “I - what?”

“S’weird, I know.” Jeongguk groans in embarrassment, his eyes rolling. He tries to take a step back but Taehyung secures his fingers around his arm to keep him from doing so. “Kicks in stronger when it’s wolves from other packs. Because my brain -”

Jeongguk sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his eyebrows twisting like he’s being tortured.

“I don’t actually know,” Jeongguk finally says, the words as confused as Taehyung feels when he tries to explain it to himself. He understands, even if he doesn’t know what Jeongguk is saying, because he doesn’t know what his brain is doing half the time either. 

Gently, Taehyung runs his palm over the side of Jeongguk’s face and nudges his thumb against the corner of his mouth to get Jeongguk from chewing on it. Taehyung has watched him chew it raw before, that’s what he tells himself it’s for when he tugs at Jeongguk’s bottom lip when he doesn’t stop.

Well, part of it definitely is. Taehyung hates that Jeongguk has habits that aren’t kind to his body. But it’s also because his stomach is doing flips as his brain starts to run over thoughts like Jeongguk may be saying he’s been feeling the same way as Taehyung. 

“It seems kind of wrong to want to claim someone, but that’s what I want to do,” Jeongguk whispers, leaning his head into Taehyung’s touch. “So often, but especially when your father forces you to meet new wolves.”

Taehyung freezes. He doesn’t want to, but he has no choice in the matter. Even as Jeongguk’s eyebrows blow out wide and that same fear sparks in them, Taehyung can’t get a grasp on his reaction. It’s just a bold admission, not even one Taehyung allows himself to even think because it’s wrong. He feels so ashamed when he bites Jeongguk or scents him because he knows it could come from that same place.

“I shouldn’t have -”

“Don’t,” Taehyung blurts, grabbing Jeongguk’s arm with his other hand because he has a tendency to run too. He doesn’t want him to, even though he has zero idea how to navigate this conversation. “There’s nothing wrong with it. I- I-”

More shame falls upon him at his contradiction. He doesn’t believe there’s anything wrong with it, yet he can’t admit it himself. But Jeongguk’s expression relaxes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards just enough that it makes his eyes look a bit brighter.

“Yeah?”

Taehyung swallows thickly. He doesn’t know what Jeongguk is asking, but in some sense, he thinks he does. He’s always felt that way with Jeongguk, like they could understand each other with just one look. He hopes it’s true now as he nods. “Yeah.”

Jeongguk’s lips stretch a little higher as he steps back and grabs Taehyung’s hand to assure him he isn’t running. “You sure? Never seen you nervous with me before.”

For a moment, Taehyung doesn’t say anything. He forces himself to breathe, to remind himself this is Jeongguk, of all people, he can’t say anything wrong. If Jeongguk thinks it’s shameful or wrong, he’ll just tell him so and Taehyung will - he’ll do something, but they’ll be fine.

“Not nervous, but surprised. Though, I don’t know why,” Taehyung tries. Tries to fall into the same teasing way he is with Jeongguk, but he’s not sure his delivery is quite right. “You scent everything you give me.”

Jeongguk glances down at the ground, sucking on the inside of his cheek audibly. “You’re my alpha.”

Without warning, Jeongguk tugs Taehyung back. It makes Taehyung’s stomach swoop from the suddenness of the space between them disappearing again, and even more so when their bodies press together and Jeongguk looks at him with an expression that he hasn’t worn before. Not with him, at least.

“And I like when you smell only like me.”

Taehyung exhales roughly and grabs the back of Jeongguk’s neck. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, just that he likes being pressed up against him and doesn’t want Jeongguk to put space between them again. His brain is firing off, but none of his thoughts are coherent.

He’s just thinking about kissing and urges and Jeongguk. And not consciously either, he doesn’t think, because he doesn’t remember making the decision to push forward until his mouth is hitting unceremoniously against Jeongguk’s.

It’s rough and uncomfortable for a moment. Their noses push together, their teeth knock and bite into Taehyung’s lip from how hard he presses against Jeongguk. But Jeongguk exhales, his head tilts, and their mouths fit more comfortably together.

Well, Taehyung doesn’t quite think comfortable is the word for it. Nor do the books he’s read help him describe it either. It’s not fireworks, though he supposes one could use that to describe the surge through his nervous system. 

It’s just…nice. Taehyung’s heart beats brutally into his sternum as he presses his lips against Jeongguk’s, barely moving his mouth but applying pressure. He has no idea what he’s doing, but when he pulls back to catch his breath, Jeongguk’s mouth presses back against his before he fully can like he also likes the feeling of it.

But despite how nice it feels, it’s not enough to override the anxiety inside of Taehyung. That he’s doing something wrong, something that will cause Jeongguk to get mad at him. Even if he can feel Jeongguk’s smile against his mouth, he worries that when they part ways, Jeongguk will think about it and get mad. Because he’s not supposed to be doing this.

For a moment, Taehyung thinks it’s come already. So soon, when their kiss breaks and Jeongguk pushes him in the chest. It isn’t rough, just a nudge, and he does wipe a thumb over Taehyung’s mouth before giving him his back.

His worries are so loud, his chest tightening and body seizing up in the start of panic that he doesn’t realize Jeongguk’s sudden shift is because of the crunch of leaves and the wind bringing in Seokmin’s scent. 

“Hey, been looking for you two,” Seokmin yells, looking annoyed when he emerges from the trees a few yards away. Close enough that he could have probably seen them, though he doesn’t look like he had. “If you guys are avoiding me, just let me know. It’s hard for me to walk so much to find you, and I’d rather not waste my time.”

They look awkward, they must because Taehyung feels it more than he ever has. But they both perk up at that, genuine assurances instantly filling their mouths because no matter what, they both would never want Seokmin to feel that way.

“Not avoiding you. Thought we were meeting at sun fall,” Jeongguk explains, hopping over the ground to wrap an arm around Seokmin’s shoulders and tug him close. “And Taehyung got us lost. Ran deeper than we meant to.”

It’s a lie, and Jeongguk delivers it surprisingly well. He glances at Taehyung with a bit of apology in his eye though because it’s Seokmin that he’s lying to, and that tightness in Taehyung’s chest worsens and forces him to look away because he knows it shows on his face. 

There’s nothing wrong with kissing, unless you’re an alpha wanting to kiss your second in command.

Or vice versa.

***

Jeongguk’s father shows up again while Jeongguk is still sleeping. Carefully, Taehyung sits by his door without opening it, though he’s sure Jongyul must already know his son is inside.

He can only get pieces, though he strains his ears. Jongyul sounds frustrated, his parents calm. There’s a demand to see Jeongguk, his voice rising as he tells Taehyung’s father that he won’t stand for Jeongguk threatening him again. Taehyung eyes the bed at that, but Jeongguk remains still and unconscious. 

“ It is harder for my son - with - on his back. But he’s hard headed - only to help him, Seonghoon -”

Taehyung presses harder into the door like he’s expecting it to burst open any second. Even if he can’t grasp every word, he’s seen Jongyul get angry with Jeongguk before. Storming through the forest to find him and rip him back home, scolding him about how he needs to be careful.

Even if he doesn’t get much, over the last few weeks Jeongguk has referenced it enough that Taehyung is sure Jongyul is talking about the distrust the pack has in his line. Taehyung just doesn’t know what Jeongguk could have possibly done for them to fight over that again.

Thankfully, Jongyul leaves after only a few minutes. Taehyung hears his parents talking afterwards, but it’s quieter and too muffled for him to make anything out at all. He only moves away from the door when he worries they may try to pry again, or talk to Jeongguk about it, but they never do.

It’s not long after that Jeongguk moves across the bed, body stretching with his eyes still closed. He groans deeply, tucking his face into Taehyung’s pillow before he flies up into a sitting position like he’s startled.

His face crumples as he looks at Taehyung with sleep heavy eyes. He stares at him for a long moment, and Taehyung isn’t sure what to do with himself.

“Uh, good morning,” Taehyung tries. He grabs the plate of food that’s been waiting for him and hands it over. “Your father came over while you were sleeping. You might have to see him today.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything as he takes the plate and adjusts on the bed so he’s sitting with his legs crossed. He looks like he may drop and fall asleep again even when he brings the sandwich to his mouth.

“I finished packing,” Taehyung goes on, needing to fill the silence. “Thought you’d be the type to snore. It’s annoying that you don’t.”

He doesn’t get anything. Jeongguk just looks at him with his mouth full and slowly chews.

It’s not until he’s swallowed a few more bites that he says, “Your bed is comfortable.”

Taehyung rubs his hands over his thighs before tucking them beneath. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to notice. “Thanks…?”

That gets Jeongguk’s lips to twitch, although barely. “You heard my father say something.”

Taehyung frowns. “No.”

“Good.” Jeongguk relaxes and takes another bite. “I mean good because that means he wasn’t screaming.”

Taehyung nods along, though his curiosity is the one screaming to ask Jeongguk what he means. “It’d be quite disrespectful to come into my father’s home and start screaming at him. Even if they’re close.”

“That’s true, but he was so angry that I wouldn’t be too surprised.”

Taehyung hesitates, warning himself mentally not to say a word because Jeongguk has been kind of pleasant today, even if it’s confused him, but he turns into an actual ass when his walls go up. “Want to talk about it now?”

“No.” Jeongguk jumps up with the plate in his hands and deposits it to Taehyung’s desk. “Want to go back to the forest? We can watch the stars. It looks like it’ll be dark soon. Damn, I sure slept -”

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung interrupts, slowly rising to his feet. “You almost attacked your father. You’ll be expected to talk about it eventually. My parents are going to want to assure -”

It’s visible when those walls go up. Jeongguk’s expression goes blank save for the tongue he aggressively shoves into the side of his cheek. His body tenses up, looks larger, but only for a moment before he sinks his hands into his pockets.

The worst is probably the eyes. When they get intense in this way, Taehyung is always reminded of their fights. Their bad ones, and then the ones that were more bitter than angry that followed and became the norm between them.

“I’ll talk to your mother then. I’m not talking about it with you.”

Offense rises up inside of Taehyung, even though rationally, he knows he shouldn’t expect Jeongguk to talk to him. They aren’t actually friends. Jeongguk only came here because of what he said earlier, it’s the only place he can go that would be acceptable. The house of the only person that can actually tell his father to go away. 

But Jeongguk’s entire demeanor is how it was all day, and Taehyung is frustrated.

“I’m your alpha,” Taehyung reminds him, arms crossing over his chest. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, his nostrils flaring. “It’s me that’s going to feel the brunt of it if you do some stupid bullshit, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk grits his teeth as he twists around and grabs his crumpled up shirt. “You’ll just get Seokmin as your second, so I’m not sure why you’re so worried about it, Taehyung.”

He rips the shirt on, obviously about to leave, but Taehyung rushes across the small space to push himself between the door and Jeongguk. 

“Jeongguk -”

“It’s not you that will feel the brunt of it,” Jeongguk snaps harshly, though his words are quiet. “You’ve never had to worry about it as much as I have. What will happen to you? You’ll get some people whispering behind your back? I’ll get kicked out, rehomed if another pack would even take me after all the shame in my family. It’s fucking different.”

Taehyung freezes up. He doesn’t know what Jeongguk is talking about, but he spits each word out, and Taehyung feels as if he’s being punched with each one. He knew he shouldn’t have asked, that Jeongguk would close up if he did, but he wasn't expecting such a flood of emotion from him. 

“It’s different,” Jeongguk repeats, less angry sounding and more exhausted than anything this time. “So no need to worry about it, Taehyung. I’m not going to attack my father, but if I did, it would be of no concern to you.”

He has no choice but to move out of Jeongguk’s way then. Jeongguk presses a hand into his arm to step around him, and Taehyung doesn’t try to stop him when he catches how hard and fast Jeongguk is breathing. He actually wants to go after him, but he’s already made it worse.

So, he only grabs Jeongguk’s arm for a second before he can walk out the door. “The river, in the morning?”

Jeongguk tenses, his shoulders moving with how quickly he’s breathing. He’s antsy again, but this time, it’s worse than it was in the morning. He just stands there for a second before he nods and walks off. 

As much as Taehyung hadn’t wanted Jeongguk in his home, he also doesn’t want him to leave. Not when he’s pissed off because he could run into his father, and in this state, Taehyung doesn’t actually know if Jeongguk would fight with him. Jeongguk had said he wouldn’t, but Taehyung worries .

If Taehyung told Jeongguk that’s why he was asking, maybe the response he got would be different. But for some reason, it feels like an admission to something Taehyung won’t even allow himself to think about. 

Taehyung moves quickly into the rest of his home to ask his mother to go after him, but he finds her already leaving the front door. His father stands a few feet away and only looks at him, something in his eyes that makes Taehyung feel even more uncomfortable, before he waves to the table.

“Sit. Have a drink with me.”

Taehyung crosses his arms. “I don’t know what happened.”

His father rolls his eyes, and his smile is probably meant to break the tension in the room. The tension Taehyung creates with the stress coming off of him, and the tension his father continues when he says, “I wasn’t going to ask. But I would like to talk to you. So sit and have a drink with your father.”

Chapter Text

If Taehyung was confused before, it’s nothing compared to now. However, those swarms of thoughts don’t come until afterwards. When he kisses Jeongguk, when they play and bite, Taehyung just enjoys it.

It isn’t until they’re hurriedly separating from each other or Taehyung is alone that they come swooping in. Sometimes, it feels like he’s drowning. Other times, he can push it aside and convince himself it means nothing but indulging in curiosity and nothing else.

When he’s with Jeongguk, breathing him in, it’s easier because nothing about it feels wrong in the moment.

“I really like doing that,” Jeongguk whispers against his cheek. “Can I try something?”

Taehyung’s heart skips a beat, but he nods. They’re hidden beneath the trees, and with the cloudy night sky, he barely can see Jeongguk. But Jeongguk still leans back in like he can see him, their lips brushing for a moment before Jeongguk bites his bottom lip.

The feeling surges through Taehyung again, a gasp building in his throat. Jeongguk hesitates against him before he kisses him a second time.

They’ve only done this a few times, but Taehyung really likes it. How soft Jeongguk’s mouth is, what he tastes like, how he can feel him smile when they kiss. The butterflies are still something he can’t get used to, but he thinks that only adds to the nice feeling. 

Taehyung moves to kiss Jeongguk again, but he darts his head back so he misses. A giggle erupts from him when Jeongguk does it again, smiling in turn. He likes this just as much, wrestling Jeongguk around until he’s beneath him, his body thrumming with nothing but joy, though that euphoric feeling twists into something else when Jeongguk straightens his arms and uses his strength to pull Taehyung down until their faces are inches apart.

They’ve only done this a few times, but it already feels like a habit. Taehyung glides his mouth over Jeongguk’s before securing it down. It’s only kissing, Taehyung tells himself. He’s heard other wolves his age have been too, sneaking kisses here and there and it does make Taehyung feel a bit normal.

Even if it’s different. The other wolves only get embarrassed when it gets gossiped about, red cheeked and talking about how they’d wish they die from embarrassment. Taehyung thinks he’d actually die if someone started whispering about him kissing Jeongguk.

“Kim Taehyung! Jeon Jeongguk!”

That’s become a habit too. Jeongguk is a bit better at sensing other wolves nearing when they’re distracted, though Taehyung is working on it. He scrambles from Jeongguk, grunting when he starts to move too and accidentally knees Taehyung in the gut

In a flash, Taehyung’s butt hits the ground but it isn’t as hard as how his stomach drops. 

“Get your butts to camp before the rain comes! Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk is on his feet first, though he holds a hand out to Taehyung to help him up. He doesn’t stay close though, putting a large distance between them that probably looks odd since everyone is used to them being attached at the hip.

Maybe Taehyung is overthinking. It’s the one thing he doesn’t like about kissing Jeongguk: he always overthinks. He feels bare and vulnerable the moment they’re in front of others, like everyone is aware and he should hang his head in shame. 

Taehyung believes Jeongguk’s father definitely sees it as odd when he finds them, his eyes darting between them before his frown deepens.

“Get to camp, little alpha,” he repeats, nudging in the direction of home. “Your mother is worried.”

Taehyung nods, quick on his feet, but Jongyul grabs Jeongguk by the shoulder so he can’t run after him. He wants to stay and walk with them, but how Jongyul turns his head down towards Jeongguk and whispers demands for privacy.

It just doesn’t feel right leaving them, but Taehyung stalks back home in a rush because as much as he’s enjoyed being alone with Jeongguk in a different way lately, he’s hated being alone completely just as much. Even just a handful of minutes alone in the forest is enough to get his brain going, and he is tired of it.

“I’m tired of this, Taehyung. You know to return home before dark,” his mother scolds where she waits outside for him. He feels bad as she’s wrapped in her blanket, the one his father says brings her the most comfort because it’s from home and she’s convinced it still smells like it. “If you’d like me to order you to remain in your room after duties, I will.”

A whine builds in his throat, but he only hangs his head. “I’m sorry, Eomma. I was with Jeongguk.”

Her stern expression doesn’t lessen as she grabs him too by the shoulder to guide him inside, even though it used to when they were younger. It used to be okay that they were always together, a future alpha and his second just bonding the way they should.

Maybe Taehyung is overthinking again, but he doesn’t think so when his mother speaks and there’s no denying that her words are scolding.

“Your father also told you about letting him scent you still. You’re too old for that, Taehyung-ah. And when you’re even older, it’ll get Jeongguk into a lot of trouble.”

A bit of that whine comes out as Taehyung turns to see if he can see Jeongguk and Jongyul before his mother urges him inside. “But Eomma -”

“But nothing.” She tightens the blanket around her and waves a hand towards Taehyung’s bedroom. “The elders have already expressed concern about it, Taehyung. Your father told you that would happen, yet -”

Taehyung breathes hard, his hands curling into fists. But it isn’t just frustration that rises inside of him but a bit of panic that their concerns aren’t just because Taehyung always smells of Jeongguk, but why. 

“Eomma -”

A bit of that panic must slip out because his mother’s expression finally softens and her arms open wide, until the blanket is wrapped around Taehyung too. He doesn’t know what his mother’s home smells like, but it smells like his mother and that is home to him. It just isn’t as comforting as it used to be anymore. 

“Just listen to us, please,” she whispers, pressing her cheek against the top of his head. “Even if you don’t understand.”

Taehyung wants to argue, but he’s frustrated, and when he gets that way, he can come off rude. So he presses his face against his mother’s shoulder until she’s done hugging him and scurries off to clean himself of Jeongguk’s scent.

But as soon as she’s gone to bed and the rain starts to hit heavily against the top of their home, Taehyung wraps a raincoat around himself and sneaks out of his window. He can’t see much, but he could find Jeongguk’s home, his bedroom window specifically, with his eyes closed.

He taps gently on the glass, unsure if Jeongguk can hear it over the rain. He doesn’t want to knock too hard, but as he readies his fist to knock again, the window slides open.

“Your mother is going to kick your ass.”

Jeongguk doesn’t look like he was sleeping, but Taehyung pushes up to rest his arms on the window sill and pokes his head inside to look at him better. “I just wanted to check on you. Your father looked really angry.”

Something shifts across Jeongguk’s face, but he only shrugs. “He always gets moody when your father goes to the city without him. He doesn’t like being in charge.”

Taehyung muffles his giggle. He doesn’t think he’s going to like it either, but he doesn’t have a choice. “What was he saying?”

“Nothing,” Jeongguk says quickly. “Go back home before you get sick.”

The argument bursts from Taehyung’s throat before he can stop it. “But Jeongguk -”

It’s a bit abrupt how Jeongguk grabs onto the window sill, forcing Taehyung to move his head back. “Just go, Taehyung.”

He closes it so quickly that Taehyung barely gets his arms out before Jeongguk has shut him out.

It worries him, causing a night of restless sleep. But not once does Taehyung worry about their actual friendship, which is the strongest thing on Earth. Even with the weeks that come, as the hands they use to shove each other off get rougher, Taehyung doesn’t worry about their friendship.

They’re solid. Taehyung and Jeongguk. Alpha and second. Nothing can come between them. 

***

“You’re an adult now.”

As soon as his father insisted they talk, the anxiety in Taehyung tripled. He braces himself, unable to do anything with the drink his father has offered him but hold it between his palms.

For a moment, he thinks his father is giving him permission to drink, and he wishes it were only that when he realizes that it isn’t.

“You will be seeing parts of the world that are either not understood or understood differently from a child’s perspective or kept from a child altogether,” his father goes on, taking a sip of his own drink. His face contorts like it’s disgusting, and given how it smells, Taehyung is sure it is. “You will form opinions and beliefs that may contradict what you knew, what you were told to do, and tradition. Every generation, we have moved forward -”

Taehyung clears his throat uncomfortably. “Appa, what is this about?”

His father also looks uncomfortable if how quickly he takes a second sip is any indication. “A lot of things that have held throughout the generations are traditions that are from a time much different than our own, and each generation that comes fights them a little more. A little differently. And there’s always the traditional wolves that find this to be disloyal or shameful or a number of things. And there will be times that it conflicts so strongly with something you’ve been taught, yet your heart agrees with it anyway.”

The table shakes with how quickly Taehyung’s leg moves but neither one of them mentions it. He hits his knee too hard, jerking it when the word ‘heart’ slips from his father’s mouth though he still has no clue where he’s going with this. 

He just has a feeling it’s somehow related to Jeongguk.

“That’s what is most important,” his father whispers, as if he’s expecting one of those traditional wolves to be listening in. “We have many, many wolves to represent, with conflicting needs, and it’s natural for us to worry about any repercussions we may face for our decisions because of the position we maintain.”

Taehyung gives in and takes a sip of his drink, which is so strong that his throat burns for a moment. His face contorts too, bringing a smile to his father’s face that does little to ease Taehyung as much as it seems to ease his father. 

“Jongyul and I are currently in disagreement,” his father finally explains. “As my second, his counsel is highly important to me as he helps me run this pack and all under our jurisdiction as well. But a lot that motivates people’s opinions, especially when it comes to law, can be selfish, personal, and not for the greater all. In my position, the one you will have, I understand where he is coming from, but it is the greater all that I am responsible for.”

Taehyung presses down on his knee to keep it from shaking. He takes another sip just to have something to do with his hands, though as he hasn’t drank much alcohol in his life, he thinks even a few sips may make his head fuzzy and this conversation even harder to follow.

“Is me being bad at explaining my thoughts and feelings an inherited trait?”

His father laughs, head shaking. He places his glass down and grabs Taehyung’s hand. “Perhaps, and for that, I apologize. Your mother is far better at this than I am. I simply mean, how to navigate all of this is a learning experience. Given this responsibility at a young age, you will make mistakes. Or what once felt like the right call, may not feel like it as you grow. With my recent arguments with Jongyul, I’ve realized my perspective on some things have changed, which may be because I’m a father. But I have made mistakes, and I am sorry.”

Still, Taehyung doesn’t know what his father means, but he’s growing more and more uncomfortable. More antsy. On top of that, he’s still worried about Jeongguk and still curious as to what he is going to say to his mother. If he will lie, if he will be honest.

He may not know what it’s about but he does know how hard it is to constantly have to lie, especially about something troubling you.

“You are not very open, and why should you be? When your mother and I have put the responsibility of an alpha on you from a very young age? Scolding you for innocent things where there was no harm when you perhaps didn’t know why, or we shouldn’t have had at all. I am sorry for that, and I wish for you to know that you can be open with me. The both of us. Even if the views and beliefs you come to have are different than ours or you disagree with laws I have set in place or wish to set in place. I don’t ever wish for there to come a time when you’ve held something in so long that it bursts out of you.”

Taehyung doesn’t like this conversation. He appreciates the sentiment, can tell his father means it, but he feels as if he’s being ripped open. Like all those times when he was younger and nearly caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do, even though his father probably only says to assure him because Jeongguk and Jongyul fought. Not anything actually regarding him, though he does also suppose he isn’t so open.

But his father can’t know that he isn’t that closed off, only about some things. Things his father would never guess because it’s a duty so expected of him that not wanting it probably doesn’t even cross his mind.

For a moment, Taehyung considers challenging how much his father means this even if he believes him. He wants to ask him what the point of opening up is if he still will be forced? Forced to mate and have children of his own blood. What would his father say to Taehyung admitting that there was once a time that Taehyung didn’t want to mate with anyone but his second? It might have not been a realization that he had at the time, but he knows what’s why it hurt so badly.

Because they’d never be able to, and that’s why they fought with each other so badly. They wanted it, but also couldn’t allow it to happen. 

And Jeongguk was right earlier. The only one that would be punished for that would be him.

Maybe Seokmin was onto something when he suggested their fighting was actually a mechanism used to keep distance between the two of them, but Taehyung’s body tenses up so suddenly like it’s trying to block that thought from moving further. 

“Thank you, Appa. I appreciate it.”

His father doesn’t say anything, only remains there looking at him. If it’s expectantly, Taehyung isn’t actually sure or if it’s just him that feels as if his father is waiting for him to do just that right now. He’s just in too bad of a mood to have a proper discussion right now, and he’s trying not to unravel from the thoughts that come flooding in about his and Jeongguk’s fallout. 

When Taehyung doesn’t offer any more, his father downs the rest of his drink and grabs for Taehyung’s. “Do you still wish to return early? I can arrange a train for you tomorrow.”

Taehyung only shrugs because he doesn’t know what he wants other than to go to sleep. It’s not late enough for that, but at this point, he thinks he could sleep for days with how suddenly exhausted he feels. 

“I’ll set something up for tomorrow. As much as I agree that Jeongguk shouldn’t avoid his father, I have a gut feeling it may be for the best. Don’t tell your mother that.”

He jokes, but Taehyung doesn’t laugh. He hadn’t missed a lot of their conversation when Jongyul showed up, but maybe he didn’t recognize enough pieces to make assumptions like his father seems to have. 

“You can use it to work on whatever you were arguing about,” his father goes on as he stands up. Taehyung stills completely in his seat, his eyes widening because they had argued so quietly. “Which you can also talk to me about, you know.”

Taehyung swallows thickly, wishing for the drink back just to clear his throat. “No, but thank you.”

His father looks a bit disappointed, but only for a second before he smiles. “You’re free to go if you want to.”

Taehyung feels a little bad about how quickly he returns to his bedroom.

It’s a few hours later that Taehyung hears his mother come home. He doesn’t care if he seems in a rush to greet her, though he stops so quickly he nearly trips when he spots Jeongguk following in behind her.

“Taehyung-ah, give Jeongguk some clothes to sleep in,” she orders right away, her voice gentle as she rubs a hand over Jeongguk’s shoulders and urges him towards Taehyung. “Where’s your father? I think it’s a good idea if you two return to the city tomorrow, I’ll ask -”

“He’s already going to,” Taehyung interrupts carefully. He wants to talk to her about his chat with his father, but not with Jeongguk’s eyes on him. “Um, is everything okay?”

“Oh, nothing to worry about,” she coos as she comes over and pats his cheeks. “Jeongguk is going to stay the night. I don’t believe either of you have eaten, unless your father tried to cook for you while I was gone? My poor thing.”

She’s overly fussy which is never a good sign. There’s a knot in Taehyung’s stomach, though a bit of him can’t deny that he’s relieved that Jeongguk is here, staying with them. 

The awkwardness is potent though when Taehyung ushers Jeongguk back into the room. The argument from before hangs between them in the tense silence as Taehyung offers him sleeping clothes and turns away while he changes to set up a space for Jeongguk on the floor. 

“I know you don’t want me here, but your mother insisted.”

Taehyung glances over his shoulder, catching the sight of Jeongguk’s back before he pulls his pajama top on. Normally, he’d have a different reaction to seeing Jeongguk in his clothes, but right now, he’s too tense to feel anything but that tension. “I don’t mind. Just don’t snap my head off when I express concern.”

Jeongguk shakes his head, making a throaty noise that sounds displeased. “Was that what you were doing?”

Not well, Taehyung almost snaps back. His defenses are already up, so he takes a moment of breathing to calm himself. “It’s just good to talk about things.”

Jeongguk grabs the mat away from him and rolls it out onto the floor before Taehyung can. “I did. To your mother.”

The nervous leg comes back. Taehyung shakes it as he watches Jeongguk, biting his tongue until Jeongguk plops himself down onto his butt and looks at him. 

“You told me to,” Jeongguk says defensively, bringing his knees upwards so he can rest his chin on them. “Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything about you.”

“Why would you have said anything about me?”

Annoyance crosses Jeongguk’s features, and he reaches up and grabs a pillow from Taehyung’s bed rather roughly. “I don’t want to talk about this with you, Taehyung. Honestly.”

Taehyung hesitates before he props himself on the edge of the desk, keeping space between them but also remaining on his feet so he can run out when his mother calls for dinner. Or earlier, if need be.

“Just me specifically?” 

Jeongguk’s teeth drag just as roughly over his bottom lip as he squishes the pillow on top of his knees and hugs his arms around it. “Anyone. I don’t want to talk to anyone, but you’re high up on the list. I don’t know why you look offended when you’ve been very open about the fact we aren’t friends anymore.”

He’s right, Taehyung shouldn’t be offended. He shouldn’t keep asking either and just causing that offense to grow, but Jeongguk’s sharp tone pokes too hard at his chest and it hurts. “You were acting like we were today.”

Jeongguk hesitates, glancing up at him before settling his eyes back to the ground. “We aren’t friends. We aren’t ever going to be friends.”

It shouldn’t upset him. Taehyung has said this to Jeongguk a thousand times over, though never in reference to forever. It’s not any different either way, he shouldn’t be upset.

But he is.

Taehyung grabs one of the plushies he left on the desk and chucks it at Jeongguk. His hand shakes with it, and the plushie lands lamely by his side. “What the fuck ever. This was my issue with you before, Jeongguk. You were all over the place, and it was fucking confusing. And you’re still the same way. ‘We should talk more, get to know each other more.’ ‘I don’t want to talk to you, Taehyung.’ ‘Let’s pretend to create a mate for me, oh now I’m angry because you did just that.’” 

Taehyung spits the words out, his face throbbing. He thinks he’s doing what his father advised him not to do just a few hours earlier, keeping it all in and letting it burst out. 

He doesn’t mean to, but once the words start, he can’t stop them from coming out. 

“‘I don’t care what people think about me.’ ‘I don’t care who I mate.’ ‘Obviously, I care about about that, Taehyung!’”

He doesn’t scream it, but his own name comes out of his mouth so roughly that he feels like he has. What pisses him off more is Jeongguk still has a blank expression on his face, doesn’t even flinch though every sharp word he used with Taehyung made him do so. He just stands up, tossing the pillow to the ground and grabs onto the fists Taehyung keeps stabbing into the air at him. 

“Taehyung -”

“I’m sick of it,” Taehyung grunts, using all of his might to push Jeongguk back. “You did it all the time when we were younger.” 

Later, he’ll feel bad. As the tears prickle his eyes, he knows he’s being cruel. To himself or Jeongguk more, he doesn’t know, because a part of him feels like he’s only hurting himself.

“‘I want to kiss you.’ ‘I want to claim you.’ ‘Bite me, Taehyung.’” Taehyung breathes hard through his nose as he uses the grip Jeongguk has on his arms to lean in and whisper venomously, “‘Don’t fucking touch me, Taehyung.’”

Jeongguk does flinch then. His face isn’t a blank mask, but intense. He looks angry, though he has no right to be because Taehyung is right.

He never wanted to have this conversation with Jeongguk again, to tell him just how badly it hurt when he said those words before shifting, but he also just never wanted to remember it. He doesn’t like that it’s coming out of him now, when his parents are just in the other room, and he has no choice but to be stuck in this room with Jeongguk. He doesn’t like it because it’s coming from a place where he isn’t thinking about anything, just feeling hurt, even though he just was thinking about how he understands why they both pushed each other away.

But like always when it comes to Jeongguk, Taehyung feels like he has no control over anything he does. 

“I know,” Jeongguk grunts, letting Taehyung go. “I know, Taehyung.”

As surprising as Jeongguk’s response is, so is the laugh Taehyung lets out. It rips out of him harsh and cruel, his head shaking as he walks away. He doesn’t care if his parents notice anymore, he grabs his shoes and walks right past them and out the door, ignoring his mother’s confused call for him. 

He doesn’t think he yelled, but he might have, which may explain why his mother doesn’t come after him. He really doesn’t want her to, though he goes to the one place she would look first; Seokmin’s. He knocks gently at first, then a bit more loudly before he remembers that Seokmin said he was busy tonight. 

Shit. Taehyung turns around facing the camp. There’s still some people out, some he doesn’t want to interact with because there’s this feeling coming alive inside of him and he doesn’t want anyone to see.

He only has one friend, and that thought darkens the cloud in his mind. He knows what path his brain is going to go on; once one negative thought slips in, his brain becomes determined to brutally bully him.

So Taehyung heads out to the forest and strips off his clothes. He’s always loved shifting because it helped clear his mind, but he’s so wound up that even pounding between the trees does little to ease the ache in his chest. 

***

“Don’t fucking touch me, Taehyung.”

The words hurt more than how roughly Jeongguk pushed him off, though he thinks he’s been getting used to that. Over the last few weeks, they’ve both been doing it to each other. For Taehyung, a bit of it is panic that causes him to push harder than he means to, and sometimes frustration. 

But Jeongguk has no right to be mad at him because he’s sure Jeongguk kissed him first. Well, pretty sure. They had been close one minute and then kissing the next. If it was Taehyung, Jeongguk could have just pushed him off and told him to stop. He could explain to him why he keeps doing this, why he’s upset now, why hair is sprouting from his arms.

“What?” Taehyung steps towards Jeongguk, unnerved by just how much hair sprouts from his skin. Both of them are still in the stages where it hurts to shift, but Jeongguk doesn’t look to be in pain. He just looks angry. “You kissed me -”

“I said don’t,” Jeongguk growls, his voice rough and loud enough to echo through the trees and reach camp. Taehyung ignores him mostly because of fear now, skyrocketing through him as Jeongguk’s spine starts to twist. “Get it through your goddamn head that we can’t!”

Taehyung freezes as Jeongguk yells, the sound turning into something more animalistic as Jeongguk’s body contorts. But his instincts take over as soon as he feels Jeongguk’s hot breath so close to his face.

He doesn’t intentionally do it, but Taehyung shifts all the same and attacks. He’s still learning to control himself in this form. It’s a lot harder than the older wolves explained, even if they said it would be. Especially as emotions are strong like they now are, but anger overpowers in this form more than the hurt does.

There’s snarling, snapping, but Taehyung doesn’t think about anyone finding him. Especially when Jeongguk gets a bite across his face, and the wolf in him takes over.

It’s pretty quick, despite how strong Jeongguk is. For months, Taehyung has been struggling with biting Jeongguk because he knows it’s wrong, but he still wanted to. It feels even more wrong now, and Taehyung doesn’t want to.

Jeongguk throws him off, causing Taehyung’s teeth to drag through his skin. As soon as Taehyung realizes he tastes blood, he lets go and flings across the open clearing they usually run off to. 

He barely gets to his feet before Jeongguk is scurrying off, leaving blood where Taehyung had pinned him down. 

As a wolf, Taehyung doesn’t feel the same kind of hurt he does when he’s human, so he doesn’t shift back. He can’t, even if he tried, because dealing with the kind of hurt he knows he will feel terrifies him.

Taehyung doesn’t see Jeongguk for three days. He seems to count the minutes, though he stops counting how many times he trucks up to Jeongguk’s cabin with an apology on his tongue because his nerves prevent him from actually knocking on the door. 

Once, he actually does, but Jeongguk’s father answers and tells him Jeongguk is too sick to see anyone.

Taehyung considers asking his own parents to check on him, but with how aching his chest has been, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to without causing concern.

When Taehyung does see Jeongguk again, there’s a nearly faded mark on his throat that he can’t look away from. Even when Jeongguk adjusts the hoodie he wears despite how blazing hot the sun is. 

It’s so hot that Taehyung is sweating just standing beneath it, but it’s ice that runs through his veins when Jeongguk’s eyes catch him nearing, mouth forming his name, and he turns his back. In a few days, Taehyung will approach him again with a new fire under his ass that will have him be more demanding that Jeongguk look at him, acknowledge him, but now his stomach is so upset that he can’t. 

***

The bouts of fighting that happened between Taehyung and Jeongguk had its break, but the confusion and anger and hurt remained afterwards. It held onto life with their avoidance, with their biting comments. It became an infestation, burrowing into Taehyung’s brain and filtering through his veins with every tense interaction with Jeongguk.

And every interaction with Jeongguk was tense. Even the ones where they weren’t actually speaking. Just near each other, looking at each other. The avoidance was frequent. 

Years of this, and if he reflects, it’s become a habit. It’s the relationship they’ve formed out of hurt and anger and confusion. But Jeongguk has suddenly changed that up. His taunting comments still there, but without as much bite. Or perhaps paired with new declarations of needing to get to know each other again, and the times Taehyung thinks he really means it, the taunting just seems different.

Taehyung really doesn’t know what to do with that because he doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he’s really fucking angry and hurt and confused because Jeongguk shifts so quickly back into that animosity that it’s disorientating. And as Taehyung shifts into his wolf form and frees his mind of the complicated thoughts that make things hard to figure out, he realizes why his chest feels so wounded by someone he’s spent years trying to block out.

Today sparked a hope inside of Taehyung that he didn’t even know he had. That he doesn’t want. But he must have because he’s hurt that he enjoyed today, had a day that felt so close to the ones he’s spent years missing, and Jeongguk turned so cold and reminded him that he should grieve those days instead of miss them because they’re never going to happen again. 

Taehyung runs and runs. He doesn’t stop until he feels as if he’s attempting to escape something that’s clung itself onto his back. Something he can’t escape. He pants as he slows, walking without direction. It’s a weird spot to be in because in this form, his instincts have him pulling to return, but he just keeps on walking.

The sky gets darker and the air more moist. Taehyung hunts when his stomach growls and curls up on the cool ground when his legs grow tired.

The moon is hidden behind the trees, not the tiniest of light shining through. It’s quiet around him except for the creatures that prefer the night, but none come near him.

Taehyung doesn’t know how long time goes by that he lies there before one creature does disturb him. It feels late or early, as if so many hours have gone by that the sun should come soon. He hopes it doesn’t, because he wants to hide. Even if his wolf doesn’t listen to him and perks up as soon as he realizes who is approaching him.

Jeongguk was right when he said what drives them depends on which form they are in. As much as Taehyung doesn’t like to think about what drives him in human form, he doesn’t even acknowledge what drives him in wolf form.

“You’re right. I do that. I’m confusing. I know I am. I don’t mean to be.”

If Taehyung were in human form, he’d snarl and run off. He’d turn his back on Jeongguk like Jeongguk has done to him countless times. But now, Taehyung doesn’t move. If he did, he knows he won’t run but walk forward to smother him because Jeongguk is upset and it’s coming off of him in waves so strongly that it consumes Taehyung with every breath he takes.

“I am very angry, and though I have been for a long time, I still struggle to manage it.” Jeongguk approaches slowly, his hands tucked in his pockets. Taehyung wonders how far out in the forest they are, and if Jeongguk walked like this the entire way until he found him. “Well, I don’t think I manage it at all, even if I’m really trying to.”

He stops a few feet away from him, head cocked to the side. There’s not much light, but Taehyung can still see his face. It’s closed off like he’s gotten used to, but it isn’t closed off as harshly. There’s something more vulnerable in his eyes.

“I want to be your friend as much as I don’t want to be,” Jeongguk goes on, his gaze dropping to the ground between them. He wrinkles his nose, head shaking. “I don’t think I can be either way, and that makes me really angry.”

Taehyung pushes up onto his feet. His wolf abhors the emotion coming off of Jeongguk now so much that he wants to move forward and nuzzle against him, but Jeongguk’s words have him unmoving.

“I really enjoyed today, but then I was reminded of that.” Slowly, Jeongguk falls to his knees before him. “Which made me angry, and I snapped. And I know that makes me confusing. I’m really fucking confused too -”

Taehyung snaps. He bites at the air, his lips twitching as he draws them back into a snarl. The reaction isn’t necessarily directed towards Jeongguk, but it is because he wants Jeongguk to stop talking. 

Jeongguk does. He rests his hands on his knees, and Taehyung wants him to stand up. Even if he’s acting properly, a way a second should be when they’ve come to apologize, Taehyung wants him on his feet. 

“You’re kind of confusing too,” Jeongguk tries, tone awkward as he waves a hand to Taehyung. “You were angry that I wouldn’t talk to you, but now -”

Taehyung nudges Jeongguk with his snout. He isn’t rough, but it isn’t affectionate. Even in this form, he knows Jeongguk is right. He hadn’t thought about that, he’s just reacting.

That’s all he does with Jeongguk.

And he thinks that’s a lot of what Jeongguk has done with him too over the years. 

“I don’t actually know how to talk about things,” Jeongguk whispers. He doesn’t push Taehyung off, lets his wet nose brush against his face like he’s hiding behind it and holds a gentle hand to Taehyung’s muzzle. “And I don’t want to, even if your mother just spent like an hour telling me how important it is to and I agreed with her.”

Taehyung huffs against Jeongguk’s face. He’s a bit uncomfortable because he shifted into this form to clear his mind, yet Jeongguk is voicing his own thoughts out loud.

“I’d rather tease you about how much oil you have under your bed than talk about anything, even if that causes me to be confusing.”

He doesn’t think before he does it. He shifts, and he’s barely on his feet before he’s shoving Jeongguk in the chest.

“It wasn’t that much. Don’t exaggerate.”

Taehyung much rather do this than talk about anything remotely serious too. His heart is already pounding in his chest as the thoughts flood into his brain and bang against all the walls he’s built up. 

Jeongguk’s hand flies out and wraps around Taehyung’s wrist as he starts to fall back, dragging Taehyung down to his knees too. He doesn’t hit the ground fully before he’s back up, facing Taehyung. 

“We can’t be friends,” Jeongguk whispers as he rests a hand to Taehyung’s thigh for support when he leans in. Just an inch, creating that privacy between him that he’s always been so good at crafting. “And now that I’ve accepted that, I won’t be so confusing.”

Earlier, the words had hurt. There’s still a pang in Taehyung’s chest, but it’s different because he agrees. They can’t be. He won’t allow himself to even get close to thinking of Jeongguk in that light. Not after tonight when he had and Jeongguk shot it to the ground.

But there’s another reason for it, that Taehyung’s mind fills in between Jeongguk’s words. It makes him think he sees it in Jeongguk’s eyes that he’s thinking the same, or maybe he isn’t at all but it still sings too true for Taehyung.

Some people can just be best friends, but he and Jeongguk never could be. Not only did his wandering through the woods make that clear, it especially was when Jeongguk first approached him.

Taehyung’s wolf doesn’t, even after all this time, see Jeongguk as a friend. 

Or a second. 

Not the way he’s told it should be, at least. 

Jeongguk moves back as he strips off the pajama shirt Taehyung had loaned him. He moves to the pajama pants next before tossing them aside and offering a hand to Taehyung to help him stand. 

“If you can catch me, you can have the window seat tomorrow. But this changes nothing, Alpha. I won’t submit to you.”

It’s a challenge that Jeongguk doesn’t give Taehyung a chance to agree to until he’s running off and shifting. Hiding away like Taehyung had, probably, because as he stands there and watches Jeongguk disappear, he thinks how he resonated with everything that left Jeongguk’s mouth. 

He battles between Jeongguk meaning it the same way he would for the same reasons, and him just taking it that way and not knowing at all what Jeongguk means.

Because Jeongguk didn’t really say anything yet he said more than he ever has. And Taehyung can’t blame him because what he said earlier was true. If Jeongguk is thinking the same things as him, if he voices them outloud, he’d face far worse repercussions than Taehyung would.

But it’s too much to think, so Taehyung twists on his feet until he’s too shifting back and relying only on his instincts to find Jeongguk.

And maybe he wishes he could remain like this because in this form, there is no hurt or anger or confusion that comes with how easily he can find Jeongguk or comes with understanding the reason why. 

It only comes when he’s back in bed, listening to Jeongguk remain awake on the ground beside him, the thought breaking through everything Taehyung has used to bury it and the walls he’s built around his mind. It had started to when he caught up with Jeongguk, when Jeongguk submitted beneath him despite his claims he wouldn’t, but he had enough of the distractions they were both looking for tonight to ignore it. 

It comes solidified, certain. Taehyung squeezes his eyes closed and holds his breath, not wanting to attract attention from Jeongguk. Not right now. It’s the worst possible time for him to be in the same room as him because the thought is so loud that he swears Jeongguk will be able to hear it.

And when morning comes and Taehyung awakes from his short sleep, he worries that Jeongguk indeed heard his thoughts because he’s gone.

Taehyung doesn’t want to get out of bed. He doesn’t want to go to the dining hall, and his mother never leaves, so he doesn’t want to get up and join her in the kitchen either. Even if he smells food, and he’s starving, Taehyung lays in bed.

They will ask him why he left the night before. It’s inevitable. Taehyung heard them still awake when he and Jeongguk returned in the early morning, and he was thankful they didn’t bombarge him with questions then. But they will come, sooner than later, because they’re going back to the city today.

It’s that thought that eventually gets Taehyung out of bed because he also doesn’t want his father barging in and forcing him out to get the train on time. He takes his time though getting dressed while regretting skipping his morning swim because he’s grimy from sweat and the forest.

He wonders briefly if Jeongguk went to the river, if he was waiting for him. It seems unlikely after his declaration the night before, and the fact that if he wanted to swim with him, he wouldn’t have disappeared from his room before Taehyung woke. He probably just went home, which is an unsettling thought and motivates Taehyung even more to get the day going so they can finally leave.

As expected, his mother is waiting for him in the kitchen. She offers him a soft smile when she turns around to look at him, but the anticipation of the conversation to come has Taehyung nervous and taking every movement from his mother as a stiff one. 

He just needs to get it over with.

“Eomma -”

“Sit,” she interrupts gently. There’s already food waiting for him. “I’m packing you some food for your trip because I didn’t think you were ever going to come out of that room, and you left last night before you could eat.”

Taehyung rolls his shoulders forward in guilt and does as she says. “I’m sorry.”

“You are going to be far away from me. I need your promise you’ll eat,” she keeps going, a slight waver in her voice. She keeps her back to him. “You have a tendency to forget to.”

Taehyung rubs over his thighs roughly. “You advised me not to cook.”

It’s meant jokingly, it just doesn’t deliver properly. His mother makes a throaty sound before she finally joins him. She still has a gentle look on her face, but it’s in the eyes. It’s always in the eyes. They’re expressive, and Taehyung relies on wolves’ eyes often when he shifts as a way to communicate. He just wishes he didn’t as a human because his mind spirals in an attempt to create a meaning before his mother can speak.

“I promise. I promise.” Taehyung hesitates with his mouth open for a moment, wanting to be the one to direct the course of this conversation for his own selfish reasons. “I - I know how much Jeongguk likes the flowers that grow closer to the river, so I just meant to get him a few to make him feel better but I -”

He isn’t good at lying. He doesn’t like to either, even if he’s been lying to his mother for as long as he can remember. 

“Taehyung,” she interrupts again, reaching over to take his hand. “You can talk to me about anything.”

“I know. Appa said the same last night. I assumed he had that conversation with me because you instructed him to.”

Her lips twitch. “Only slightly, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t mean it.”

Taehyung sighs and squeezes her fingers. “I know.”

He doesn't like this anymore than he did the night before, but it’s different with his mother. It draws out a different kind of emotion from him, a vulnerable one that he feels is harder to swallow down.

“What did you and Jeongguk fight about?”

Another difference with his mother is she doesn’t always beat around the bush. Not when she has something clear and direct in her mind. His father hesitates, gets awkward, stumbles over words because he stresses about his meanings even if he has to be well spoken in his position. His mother may imply or tread lightly when curious, like she had about him smelling like Seokmin not too long ago, but she isn’t like that as often as Taehyung wishes she would be.

Despite being prepared for this, Taehyung doesn’t have a lie in mind. He can’t come up with one that’s satisfactory, but his mother doesn’t give him a chance to respond anyway.

“Did he tell you about why he fought with his father?”

Taehyung shakes his head, and his mothers shoulders relax. He hadn’t realized how tense she was until then.

“Parents with good intentions may still hurt their children,” she says, and Taehyung doesn’t allow himself to feel relief yet because he isn’t in the clear. He tries to pay attention to her and come up with something to explain why they fought, but he’s drawing a blank. “I have done the same. I have constantly reminded you about the stigma on Jeongguk, to always keep that in mind and act accordingly not to make people whisper, but that has only led to hurt. Instead of telling those who whisper to shut their mouths, I have instructed you two to quiet yourselves.”

Taehyung almost stands up. His feet twitch to. His heart pounds. He can’t move. He’s emotionally drained. His mother could mean anything, but he thinks in his heart he knows, because the knot is already swelling in his throat. 

“Jeongguk and I spoke for a long time last night, and he made me realize many mistakes I’ve made,” she goes on, squeezing his hand so tightly that she surely must know that he wishes to escape. “Your father had already been talking about it, worrying that the pressure we’ve put on the both of you from a young age has caused more harm than good. But talking to Jeongguk last night…”

Taehyung thinks he’s going to throw up. Jeongguk had said he didn’t talk about him, but now, Taehyung doesn’t know if he believes him. 

“I wanted to storm over to his home and kick Jongyul swiftly in the ass,” his mother seethes, throwing Taehyung off. “But I am guilty as well despite how much change your father has brought and how much belief I have in him. He’s a kind, patient, understanding man that doesn’t look to tradition when it comes to the laws we’ve upheld, even if he likes to think he has. And honestly, if your father were to kick Jeongguk out because he doesn’t wish to mate with a woman, I’d kick him swiftly in the ass too.”

Taehyung’s quite sure his heart has forced itself into his throat. He’s struggling to breathe, but he can’t exhale as deeply as he needs to or his mother will notice. If she doesn’t already because Taehyung is sure he is as stiff of a board and she’s left a pause for him to respond, but he can’t.

As much as this is an opening for him, the sign that he can get out the things he’s buried deep inside of him, he thinks he’d still vomit in his attempts to. But Jeongguk is Jeongguk and Taehyung is Taehyung, their son and future alpha. Taehyung doesn’t want to know how much or little of that belief of his mother applies to him too. 

But she also says it like it’s something Taehyung knows, and it isn’t, so he can’t quite process both things at once. Not the way he wants to with his mother looking at him so closely. 

“Did you tell him that?”

He wants the attention off of himself. He doesn’t even know if it’s truly on him or not, he just wants it off. He decides to pretend like he knew that’s how Jeongguk felt so his mother doesn’t feel bad for accidentally telling him something she shouldn’t have because it’s reasonable for her to expect him to know. Maybe Jeongguk told her that he did, or maybe Taehyung does know. The information stored in a box that he doesn’t like to open, filled with his own truths. 

“I did,” his mother says, rubbing his hand before she lets him go. “But he said he has to, he has to continue his line. I’m sure we have all ingrained that into his brain, but I - I bring it up because you two fought afterwards, and the only wolves that have any authority to cast out a member of this pack, is your father, myself, and you. So -”

Oh. Taehyung’s face burns. This isn’t going where he thought he was, though he also stuffs his emotion away at how his mother so easily separates himself from this. He isn’t expected to support this, to relate to this. It’s Jeongguk that has it ingrained in his brain, not himself. It’s -

Taehyung swallows the lump. He almost wants to tell his mother that he doesn’t want Jeongguk to mate at all, and it builds up inside of him with a force that surprises even himself. So much so that he has to stand up just to move his body because he’s not yet fully accepted how his wolf sees Jeongguk yet, even if he can’t deny it any longer. 

“You have nothing to worry about,” Taehyung says, tries. He hovers his hand over his plate a few times before he sits back down because he can’t run off without eating again. Even if he feels sick. “You know how I feel about mating. When I take over, I plan to get rid of it completely.”

His mother doesn’t say anything, only watches him as Taehyung forces small bites into his mouth. It’s unsettling because he can’t read her expression, doesn’t quite think it’s pity but it feels like it because within the last twelve hours, Taehyung feels as if his brain has been ripped open and everything inside of it exposed.

When she finally does speak, it’s because she must sense Jeongguk nearing at the same time he does because she says it before leaving the table to make a plate for him. 

“Jongyul isn’t going to be happy, but your father will be speaking to him today about how he supports Jeongguk’s decision. It’s why I decided it is actually a good idea for you to go to the city,” she whispers. “I just wanted you to know our position, what’s going on if Jeongguk talks anymore about his obligations. And just so that you know where we stand on this matter.”

She comes over to him and presses a firm kiss to the top of his head that lasts until the knock on the door comes. Lasts long enough to make Taehyung’s chest tighten and his mind wander back to the place he doesn’t let it go often. That place that whispers to him that he had been wrong about her assumptions, maybe she didn’t mean it’s been only ingrained in Jeongguk’s head. 

The door opens slowly when his mother calls for it to, and Taehyung doesn't look up when Jeongguk enters. He doesn’t think he can, but he also thinks his mother may get the wrong idea if he doesn’t.

Jeongguk looks exhausted. He’s no longer in his pajamas, but a hoodie that seems to swallow him whole despite how warm it is outside. His hair is a mess that his mother ruffles with when she gets near, most likely to inspect the bags beneath his eyes. 

He too gets forced to sit down and eat, and he too looks like he’d rather not look at Taehyung either.

“Did you go home?”

Taehyung whispers it even though he knows his mother can hear.

Jeongguk nods, one of his hands fisting around the front of his hoodie so it tightens around him. “I waited until he left. I had one more bag, and I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to my mother.”

“Of course not,” Taehyung’s mother says as she slides some of the packed food in front of Jeongguk. She too kisses the top of his head through the hood he has over it. “And don’t you worry about him coming here either. Seonghoon took him out for a hunt. Left your tickets there on the counter.”

She grabs onto his face next, fussy always, but Jeongguk tightens his hood even more like he’s afraid she’s going to attack his cheeks.

“Remember what I told you, and you call me if you need me to say it again, hm?”

It’s said so quietly that Taehyung looks away, feeling like he isn’t meant to hear it. He doesn’t look up until his mother walks away, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. They remind him of the night before, right before Jeongguk fell to his knees like he was going to apologize but instead announced they couldn’t be friends.

Taehyung didn’t say anything the night before, but he wants to now. Not about himself or Jeongguk, though it ties back to them either way. But about his father, how he understands. 

Something along those lines, just like he should have done all those years ago when they first started fighting. 

But he doesn’t say anything at all. Jeongguk clears his throat and shifts around, fingers tapping around his plate before he surges forward and nails his elbows into the table. 

“My uh - my father has a home in the city. I can stay there  - “

“No.” The words leave Taehyung’s mouth before he even processes what Jeongguk says. He can’t take it back, can’t take the time to actually think about it even though he’s spent so much time thinking about how much he is dreading sharing an apartment with Jeongguk. Instead, he grabs his plate and refuses to look at whatever Jeongguk’s face is doing. “There’s no need for that.”

He doesn’t look, but experience tells him that Jeongguk’s expression is perfectly schooled like it always is. A blank canvas that Taehyung has always tried so hard to read because neither of them will ever fucking speak. “Okay.”

***

Jeongguk stays a wolf for three days. He doesn’t shift once, doesn’t return home. He hides deep within the forest but that doesn’t keep his mother from finding him. She does late into the first night, the concern and relief pouring off of her, but she doesn’t force him home.

He doesn’t know what he feels other than guilt, but his mother must feel it too. She only sniffs at his face, nuzzles over the top of his head, and Jeongguk hears her ask him even if she doesn’t say the words.

Don’t go far.

He is far, but he knows that isn’t what she means. There’s stories of wolves who don’t shift back, who remain in this form for so long that they lose every part of them that makes them human. They forget how to shift, or if they finally do, everything that is human is too overwhelming. It’s too much, and it doesn’t take long for them to shift back.

At this moment, Jeongguk doesn’t care. If he can still feel this heavy feeling on his chest as a wolf, he can’t imagine how much worse it’ll be if he shifts back. And it’ll never go away, even if he spends years as a wolf because he attacked his alpha.

He attacked Taehyung. 

The panic had swarmed up inside of him when the wind brought the scent of another wolf to his nose, when he realized again that he had closed the space between his and Taehyung’s mouths. He’s spent nights berating himself for messing up, for giving into these things inside of himself that he doesn’t understand, but he keeps doing it. 

The reminders that he’ll be kicked out, that he’ll bring shame to his family’s name even more have become songs in his mind that play on a constant loop over the last few months. Yet each time they’re alone, Taehyung’s eyes meet his and this craving pulls through Jeongguk so strongly that the song quiets. All he hears is Taehyung, mine, Alpha -

Then he kisses Taehyung or Taehyung kisses him. And then they fight, they both do, because Jeongguk thinks Taehyung may have the same song in his head. There might be some differences because it is only Jeongguk who will be banned for loving his alpha more than a second should, but Taehyung will still be shamed. 

A growl rises up in his throat, a deep sound as he admonishes himself for his actions. The images flash in his mind, not just this time, but the ones before. Every time he had gotten angry, shoved Taehyung roughly, felt his wolf rise up ready to fight when it’s not really Taehyung that he wants to fight. 

Sometimes, he thinks about how if he gets banned from the pack, Taehyung would probably leave with him. He’d leave his pack, the worst thing an alpha could ever do. His line goes back generations and generations, but he’d give it up. Jeongguk knows it because Taehyung has told him, and that’s the only time any of his anger is actually directed towards Taehyung. Because he can’t do that, he can’t . Jeongguk won’t let him. 

He’s just doing a poor job at stopping it. So he remains a wolf because it’s easier to shame himself like this, to avoid, and he would do so for as long as he could if his father didn’t find him.

“You will come home if only to ease your mother’s mind,” he says as he approaches, his tone soft but Jeongguk messed up and his ears are already falling flat in shame. If his father knows he attacked Taehyung, it will be worse. It won’t just be scoldings, he knows, because during those scoldings, his father’s hands are always angry as they move through the air. “She isn’t sleeping well, waiting for you to return.” 

The guilt builds. Jeongguk’s father touches the fur on the side of his neck where the fur is hard from the dried blood that Jeongguk has done well not thinking about. His eyes close when his fathers slip further, touching his skin where it’s sore when it shouldn’t be. 

A whine builds in Jeongguk’s throat, fear unloading inside of him because his skin shouldn’t be sore. It’s been three days. Yet this happens with Taehyung sometimes, and Jeongguk usually does well with covering it up. Taehyung bites, and he must want to leave a mark even if he doesn’t know it. His mother told him once, that the mark of a mate remains when it’s from a place of want. From a place that whispers mine into a wolf’s ear.

He asked why his mother always wore the mark of a mate but never his father, but she had quietly changed the subject to something else. 

“Jeongguk,” his father says, the same kind of coming from him too. “Shift back. I brought you clothes.”

Jeongguk doesn’t want to. He wants to protest, but it’ll only be worse. So he shifts and takes the clothing his father has brought while keeping his eyes on the ground.

He can feel his father’s eyes boring into him, onto the sore skin that Jeongguk can no longer ignore. Each inhale, he smells his own blood and Taehyung, mine, Alpha -

“What did you do?”

Jeongguk drags the collar of the shirt high up his throat, hoping it hides his neck. “I - Taehyung and I got into a fight. I - I swear, Appa, I shifted, but I didn’t hurt him. I wouldn’t, I swear it. He -”

His father cups hover his neck, hiding it beneath his palm. He thinks he can still hear how fast his father’s heart races, but he doesn’t get how since his own is throbbing in his ears. “What did you fight about?”

He saw it once, his father did. After Jeongguk and Taehyung got into an argument and returned back to the pack., the tension had been thick between them and his father had scolded. He told Jeongguk it was normal at this age to roughhouse and bicker, but he must always let Taehyung initiate it. He must always let Taehyung win, never outstrength him. And then the angry hands came as his father told him that if the fighting comes from anything, Jeongguk must swallow it down and stop. He must back down, give in, fight harder against anything inside of him that might want to betray his alpha.

At the time, Jeongguk wanted to tell him that there was more, but it wasn’t betrayal. To his pack, maybe, but not to Taehyung. Never Taehyung. But he’s glad he didn’t because every time his father looks at the mark on Jeongguk’s neck, his fear spikes. 

“I was making fun of Seokmin,” Jeongguk lies, though a pang goes through his chest. He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t , he wants to say immediately after, but he presses his lips tightly together and looks back to the ground. “Taehyung put me in my place.”

It’s what he’s supposed to do. What their Alpha does. Protect all, even against their second. He doesn’t want to get Taehyung in trouble for biting him and leaving a mark, but he doesn’t know if it’s a good enough reason. If his father even believes him. 

Jeongguk flinches when his father grabs his chin with angry hands and forces him to look up. “Your mother and I taught you better than that, Jeon Jeongguk. Seonghoon won’t be lenient with you just because you’re my son. He knows where my loyalties lie, but you still have to prove yourself.”

His fingers turn gentle as he strokes over Jeongguk’s chin and sighs heavily. “If anyone asks, the little alpha was being territorial like he tends to be. Seonghoon will be lenient with his son, and he will see that you did not bite back.”

Jeongguk only nods. He wants to, often, and he has. He can’t stop even if he gets so angry at himself afterwards that his claws extend and shred into his palms. But not to betray or overpower, only because mine, mine, mine - 

“Calm your breathing,” his father says as he cups the back of Jeongguk’s neck to gently urge him back home. “If you tried to overpower him, he hasn’t said a word. He came to our cabin looking for you, looking worried. I believe the little alpha is very loyal to you, Jeongguk, you must return that.”

It’s not that, it’s not that . Jeongguk grinds his teeth and red flashes at the edges of his vision. He wants to shift again because the thoughts and the anger are already pouring into his brain. He wouldn’t ever hurt Taehyung, try to overpower him. He fights so hard with himself because an alpha can’t survive without their pack, and if Jeongguk messes up, Taehyung will leave with him. And he can’t .

“If you don’t,” his father says flatly, tone completely void of emotion, but it’s not that that has the hair sprouting from Jeongguk’s spine, “I will stand by Seonghoon as he bans you. I will watch you be cast out, just like I stood by and watched as he tore out my father’s throat.” 

The rest is implied, echoing in the air between them because he has said it a handful of times before. If he hurt Taehyung, if he became a traitor, Alpha Kim might just rip out Jeongguk’s throat too, and his father would let him. He’d watch, hold his mother back, and maybe she’d share the same fate because he’s all she has. She’d fight back, Jeongguk knows it.

And even if she was only banned, it’d be just as bad. She’d have nowhere to go, no one would take a wolf that has betrayed two alphas by falling in love with one and attacking another for harming her son.

Sometimes, Jeongguk really hates being a wolf and that makes him the angriest of all.

Chapter Text

We can’t be friends. It hangs between them, making it tense in the tiny car. Neither of them speak, both of them shoved into the corners of their seats as if trying to make the most distance possible. Jeongguk has his backpack on his lap, his arms tight around it, and Taehyung keeps trying not to look at him and failing.

They can’t be friends, but they have to be alpha and second. They have to speak, but Taehyung doesn’t know what to say. It’s different than it was before yesterday, there was tension and biting comments, but it was just how they were. How they became. But now, Taehyung can’t think of one single thing to say. 

“We should probably get groceries after dropping our stuff off.”

“I’m positive my mother has made sure there was a delivery.”

The silence returns. Jeongguk looks out the window, Taehyung looks at Jeongguk. When his head moves like he may turn to him, Taehyung too stares at the passing trees.

“I was thinking about asking Alpha Jimin if I could join his mate’s sculpting classes.”

Taehyung taps his fingers over his knees. He wonders if Jeongguk knows their fathers are going to speak today, that he has his Alpha’s support not to carry on his line. He wonders how Jongyul will react. The man has gone out of his way to prove his loyalties to Taehyung’s father, he isn’t worried they’ll fight, but he doesn’t know what Jongyul will do.

It eats at him and then he feels bad that he worries, wondering if there’s some part of him that worries like the others do. Some part of him that doesn’t fully trust Jongyul because of what his father had done.

Taehyung takes a look at Jeongguk and just knows that isn’t the case with him. 

“That’s a good idea.”

Jeongguk’s leg wobbles, catching Taehyung’s attention again. He stretches at the neck of his thick hoodie that he wears, implying he’s cold, but the sweat glistening on his forehead and the red sheer of his cheeks says differently. “Is it? I’m worried if he says something about my mother, I’ll react angrily.”

Taehyung keeps his eyes on Jeongguk, frowning when he wipes at his forehead and more sweat appears a second later. “I don’t think he will, but I will advise him not to.”

Jeongguk nods. He stretches his collar again, revealing that his neck is just as sweaty and the collar has darkened from it. Taehyung breathes in, but he doesn’t catch anything that hints at Jeongguk being nervous or sick. “You know, technically, if my mother wasn’t kicked out of her pack, I would be Jimin’s second.”

There’s a ringing noise in Taehyung’s ears. He always wondered if Jeongguk knew why his mother was banned, and he wonders now if this is him admitting that he does. “Okay?”

“That’s what started the fight with my father. He told me to keep Jimin away, worried like, I don’t know, it’ll be in my blood to turn my loyalties over to him or some shit. He’s worried your father put the Busan wolves on our floor as a test.”

Taehyung isn’t breathing, he’s quite sure. He must be, but his chest hurts like he’s holding his breath beneath the water for too long. “So you do want to talk about this now with me?”

Jeongguk side eyes him, and the annoyed look on his face feels a bit more familiar. A bit like before. “No. I just feel like after telling you I won’t ever be your friend, I should probably reassure you that doesn’t change anything about my loyalty.”

It’s said highly defensively. Jeongguk lets go of his backpack to wave his hand in the air as he speaks, and if it were before, Taehyung would be slightly amused.

It’s not a thought that crossed his mind. He contemplates saying so, wondering if that’s why Jeongguk is sweating. If he is panicking and has just gotten better at hiding it. It’s what he should do, because they’re alpha and second, and they’ve both gotten in the way of them becoming that. 

“I didn’t,” Taehyung manages. “That’s a bond you build over time. Not something in your blood.”

Well, he doesn’t actually know about that last part. He hasn’t thought much about it. When they were young, Jeongguk told him he’s thankful that Taehyung is his alpha because he’d probably get kicked out if it were anyone else because it’d still be him that’s his best friend. It’s nothing but him. Taehyung.

If it were in their blood, Taehyung thinks reconstructing that bond wouldn’t be so confusing and hard to do. It wouldn’t have so easily broken in the first place either. And maybe that’s just a foolish thought, one born from hurt, but he doesn’t know. 

“I don’t even think he actually believes that,” Jeongguk murmurs, “Because he so often argues how we aren’t anything like his father, though we are from his blood. I think he just panics and doesn’t trust me.”

Taehyung wants to rip the goddamn hoodie off of Jeongguk when he wipes at his cheek next and fans his face when he thinks Taehyung isn’t looking. The urge is so strong, annoying him, though he knows the feeling isn’t due to Jeongguk’s hoodie but the mention of his father. “It doesn’t matter. My father does.” He hesitates, the words rolling over his tongue before he lets them out. “I do.”

Jeongguk stills, his hand hovering over his backpack before he grabs down onto it and squeezes so hard his knuckles turn white. “You do?”

“Yeah, except when it comes to making choices about what’s appropriate to wear. Why are you wearing such a thick sweater?”

Jeongguk reacts more than he did when Taehyung admitted to trusting him for the first time. He jerks forward, eyes flying open before he shrugs and sinks back into his seat, bringing the backpack further up his body. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “You’re going to pass out before we even get there. I suggest you take it off.”

“I can’t.”

Taehyung frowns. “Why not?”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes like he’s even more annoyed now, though Taehyung is actually concerned he may pass out. So much so that, for the first time, it isn’t Jeongguk stinking up the space around him that takes all of his focus. 

“Because.” He jerks his chin forward, indicating their driver, though he always wears pods in his ears to give his riders a sense of privacy. “I can’t.”

“What the hell are you going on about?” 

Jeongguk shifts around before he grabs the collar of his sweater and yanks it down roughly. Taehyung goes rigid as he catches the mark on his throat. The bruise is quite dark and large, but it isn’t shame that Taehyung feels when he spots the puncture wounds.

It’s something else entirely, something surging through him so strongly that makes it hard to speak. He hadn’t meant to bite Jeongguk so hard, nor did he realize he had. Jeongguk never made a sound, and he didn’t taste blood. 

“It should heal quickly,” Taehyung reminds him. He understands now, his heart pounding so hard he’s sure he will be sweating soon too. He too glances briefly to make sure the driver hasn’t taken this moment to look into the mirror and check on them. 

“I don’t think so,” Jeongguk says. “It should have already.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything, though he knows he should apologize. He doesn’t want to because he doesn’t feel sorry, even if he should. It was an accident, but Taehyung knows even if it was on purpose, he still wouldn’t be sorry.

And that is wrong of him, he knows. Because when Jeongguk had left a mark on him years ago, Taehyung had been a nervous wreck. His stomach was tight with fear until it faded away even though he tried to hide it after his parents sat him down and tried to talk to him about what biting means and how he shouldn’t let anyone do that. They hadn’t asked him who, just enforced the fact into Taehyung’s brain that an unmated alpha should never be bitten hard enough to leave a mark.

But he can’t say anything because the same thoughts that made it hard to sleep the night before echo again in his mind, and he’s worried if he opens his mouth, he’ll accidentally say them outloud. 

Jeongguk moves the hoodie back, hiding the mark, and Taehyung almost protests. “It’s whatever. When we’re in the city, I can say it’s from someone else.”

Taehyung quickly looks out the window as his upper lip curls. His fangs extend, his nostrils flare. It feels as if his entire body is protesting, and he hates this. He wishes Jeongguk never said they couldn’t be friends and made Taehyung think and realize because that will get more in the way than anything. 

“It should fade by the time we start classes,” Taehyung forces out once he’s got his body to calm down enough so he can speak. “So it won’t get in the way of you exploring those urges.”

He doesn’t mean to say it. It’s his wolf whispering in his ear, growling at him, at Jeongguk, because he doesn't like the suggestion of someone else marking Jeongguk. He needs Jeongguk to rectify it, to say something that Taehyung knows he won’t.

Jeongguk coughs roughly. He seizes up from the seat to hack into his fist, his eyes wet. He blinks a few times before giving Taehyung a wild look. “What?”

“What, ‘what’? You thought my father said that because he just meant me?”

Jeongguk groans and plants a hand over his face. “I don’t want to talk about this with you.”

“But you can use it to tease me?” Taehyung snaps back, giving Jeongguk a pointed look. Say it, say it. Say you don’t want to . 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk repeats roughly and without shame. “I like when you get flustered.”

Taehyung hesitates, but his wolf howls inside of him. It’s like a hum through his veins. “What?”

“I mean, when you get the way you do.” Jeongguk makes a stubborn, offended face. He opens his lips a few times before making a throaty sound. “You know?”

Taehyung has no idea what Jeongguk means, but his face burns as he racks his brain trying to figure it out. He needs to get the conversation away from him now before his wolf takes over and starts blabbering. “‘I’m confident by nature’ is what you said. I wouldn’t expect you to get embarrassed.”

“I’m not,” Jeongguk denies, eyes rolling so hard that Taehyung worries he’ll lose them in the back of his head. “I just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”

“Like you said to me, nothing to be embarrassed about. Unless you really act that confident and then end up being the worst lay ever. That would be incredibly embarrassing.”

Jeongguk huffs in amusement, eyebrows twitching upwards as he leans a bit closer. “Wanna explain to me why your first thought after talking about the hickey you gave me is to talk about urges?”

With an alarmed look towards the driver, Taehyung shoots out his arm until his hand lands onto Jeongguk’s chest. He doesn’t push him back as far as he means to, doesn’t know what he means to do in truth. He just reacts, and it makes the amusement on Jeongguk’s face grow.

“That’s not a hickey, ” Taehyung whispers incredulously. “That’s a - that’s -”

“A bite mark,” Jeongguk supplies, head tilting until it rests on the back of the seat like he’s no longer concerned about keeping it hidden. His eyes widen slightly like he’s trying to be innocent, or curious, or something else incredibly annoying.

It feels like before. Like last night hadn’t happened, except for the fact that the howl inside of Taehyung grows so loud he can’t possibly ignore it. He doesn’t even want to with how satisfied he is at the idea of Jeongguk calling it a hickey. A mark to claim. 

So satisfied that Taehyung doesn’t feel that same panic he did the night before when he worried Jeongguk could hear his thoughts even though with what he’s saying, he could convince himself that Jeongguk had. 

“Yes. Which is completely different. There’s nothing sexual about it.”

Jeongguk drags his teeth over his bottom lip, looking away from him. His leg wobbles again for a moment before his body seizes up.

When he looks back at Taehyung, he wears that smug smile that Taehyung is already missing, but it isn’t the same. “So you were trying to take me out, little alpha? Make Seokmin your second like you’ve always wanted?”

This time, Taehyung worries his own eyeballs will get stuck from how hard he rolls them. “I’m considering doing so now, yeah.”

Jeongguk laughs. “This is what I meant, you know? When you get like this.” 

Now, Taehyung is focusing on how much Jeongguk stinks up the car. It’s all he breathes in. He can’t do anything about his extended fangs but try to speak without opening his mouth too much because Jeongguk’s gaze is glued to him. 

“I think you’re confusing ‘flustered’ and ‘aggravated’ little second.”

“That just sounds dumb.”

It really does, but Taehyung refuses to admit to it. Jeongguk’s smile grows when he rolls his eyes again, unable to come up with a comeback but not because he’s flustered . He’s just battling more so than he ever has, and he also wants to cling onto this moment for a second because it feels normal . It gives him a moment of hope that they can reconstruct the bond between them, and he can’t mess that up. 

“Fits you then, little wolf.”

Jeongguk still looks amused, but he does move back to his seat and puts even more space between them as he leans up against his door, facing him.

“And it wasn’t a related thought, you know,” Taehyung goes on, needing to prove that point before Jeongguk can get another torturous word out of his mouth both to himself and Jeongguk. He needs his wolf to shut the fuck up. “Maybe you should question why you took it that way.”

Jeongguk’s expression shifts into something more like contemplation. “I’m tired of questioning myself. Though, I do know I’d rather it be for that reason than you wanting to murder me.”

Taehyung hesitates. He stares hard at the rearview mirror, holding his breath because while Jeongguk isn’t saying anything explicit, he is speaking loud enough that Taehyung needs to assure the driver still wears his earphones.. 

“Whatever. I didn’t mean to bite you that hard, but there was no reason at all behind it other than I’m strong and I was in fight mode. Got it?”

Jeongguk raises his hands before himself in defeat, his grin gone. “Got it.” 

Taehyung faces the window to keep himself from saying anything more. His fight mode flares up so easily around Jeongguk, he’s used to it, but this is new. It’s more defensive on his part because he feels like his chest is open and Jeongguk can see inside. 

“I’ll get you some makeup when we get into the city,” Taehyung finally says, conceding as well, “To cover it up.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond for a moment, but when he does, he speaks more quietly. “No, no need. I was just hiding it from my father.”

That satisfaction returns, pouring through him at the idea of it. Jeongguk wearing his mark, others seeing it. Wolves, strangers, anyone.

Taehyung breathes out slowly, his eyes closing. This is going to be harder than he ever imagined.

There’s a variety of smells in the apartment when they enter it. No longer the stiff air of an empty apartment, no room for Jeongguk’s scent to immediately occupy. It’s a little disconcerting at first, the smell of strange wolves in a place that’s supposed to be his home. Even though Taehyung knows it’s probably the movers that have brought in their belongings or whatever else his father got for them.

He tries to be inconspicuous as he checks the empty room with nothing but shelves to see if it has been made into a second bedroom, but he feels Jeongguk’s eyes on him as he walks down the corridor.

“I’m not sleeping in there!” Jeongguk calls, his voice echoing through the apartment. Taehyung’s shoulders tense up as he’s realized he’s been caught and that the room still remains empty. 

He bangs his head against the doorframe gently for a few moments before he joins Jeongguk back in his self-made bedroom. 

“Take my room then,” Taehyung suggests, waving his hand towards the hallway that leads to it. “I’ll take the other one. It has a door anyway.”

Jeongguk doesn’t acknowledge him. He’s quick to open the only suitcase he brought with him, a quite large one, revealing his clothes. He plants his hands to his hips and looks down at them for a long moment like he’s thinking hard before he finally looks at Taehyung again.

“Are we sharing the closet or what?”

“No,” Taehyung reminds him. “Just take the room.”

Jeongguk tuts his teeth, head shaking. “The closet is large enough. You can’t possibly have that many clothes.”

Taehyung almost grabs Jeongguk’s arms to stop him as he moves to start pulling his clothes out. “No, but I don’t want you stinking them up!”

“Excuse me?” Offense pours off of Jeongguk as he turns away from his suitcase to approach him. “‘Stinking up your clothes?’”

Frustrated, Taehyung waves his hands at him. “Don’t act like you don’t know how potent your scent is. I know that’s why you always get so close. To clog up my senses.” 

Jeongguk looks dumbfounded. He stares at Taehyung, mouth agape, fingers scratching at his neck like he truly doesn’t know what Taehyung is talking about. 

“I’ll just put mine in that room,” Taehyung goes on. “And sleep in there.”

Slowly, Jeongguk grabs a piece of clothing from the top of his suitcase and brings it to his nose. He’s really overdoing the confusion, Taehyung thinks as he watches Jeongguk’s chest expand with how deeply he inhales. He does it twice, actually, and Taehyung is a second from telling him to fuck off in embarrassment before he too has the shirt shoved in his face. 

“You just don’t want to be forced into admitting how much you like my smell,” Jeongguk laughs as Taehyung grabs his arms to wrestle him away. “Just admit it, and I’ll keep my clothes separate from yours.”

Over Taehyung’s dead body would he ever admit that. Hell, he would sacrifice Seokmin before he ever uttered those words out loud. He tries to say so, but he only grunts as Jeongguk wrestles him back until he nearly falls onto the floor.

At the last second, Jeongguk twists them so Taehyung’s legs hit the suitcase instead. He gathers his balance well, but the moment he rips the shirt from Jeongguk’s grip his whole body nearly collapses from underneath him because Jeongguk moves his face so close that Taehyung’s brain short circuits.

Taehyung drops but Jeongguk follows. It’s similar to how they fight as wolves but different at the same time. Adrenaline courses through his veins, his stomach swooping. He uses the strength in his arms while Jeongguk uses the strength in his legs, locking around Taehyung to trap him beneath him.

If the smell of Jeongguk was consuming before, it doesn’t compare to now as Jeongguk grabs his shoulders for leverage and smothers him. 

With his face. 

Taehyung’s fingers grip tightly around Jeongguk’s forearms as his nose is squished against Jeongguk’s jaw. He can’t help but breathe him in, the pace of his heart skyrocketing when Jeongguk rubs against him until his face brushes over the side of his neck. 

A gasp leaves his lips, one Jeongguk must feel with how close he is, but he doesn’t stop. Taehyung wants to bite again, wants to flip their positions and plant his mouth to Jeongguk’s throat but just the thought has him using every ounce of strength in his body to get Jeongguk off of him instead.

He succeeds, but not completely. With Jeongguk’s legs wrapped around him, he barely gets his own straightened as he stands before they buckle.

Taehyung grunts when his ass hits the floor, but thankfully his head doesn’t as Jeongguk’s hands fly out to soften the blow. One hand wraps around the back of his neck as the other lands on the ground beside him, but the adrenaline that courses through Taehyung overrides the shock from the sudden fall.

He moves in time with Jeongguk, grabbing his forearms right as they start to leave their positions. He uses his elbows to shove into Jeongguk’s chest as a blockage, keeping Jeongguk from being able to do what he would if their positions were reversed.

The differences between wolf and human instincts be damned. Taehyung wants to bite . Everything inside of him craves to. Part of him wonders if it’s obvious because Jeongguk’s smile shifts into something else entirely, something he can’t quite name, but most of Taehyung doesn’t care. 

Taehyung pulls Jeongguk’s arms over his head with his own, his grip tightening and teeth baring as Jeongguk immediately moves with him. He leans down, and a growl builds in Taehyung’s throat the moment Jeongguk’s chin turns like he’s presenting his neck.

But it’s Jeongguk, and he wouldn’t. Not willingly. Taehyung’s brain is just so focused on the craving, that he forgets he spent the entire trip here trying to forget that he already marked Jeongguk. He so easily gives up the fight that’s been going on in his brain, he gives up trying to quiet his wolf. He gives up the reminders that he can’t let Jeongguk know his thoughts, the reasons they can’t be friends, can never be just friends -

It’s the tiniest bite, more like a nip right beneath Taehyung’s jaw. It sends a shockwave through him, his stomach twisting but not in the discomforting way it should. The way he’s always been told it’s supposed to feel for an alpha when another strong wolf’s teeth press into the skin of his neck.

And maybe it would feel that way if it was a proper bite, but the feeling in Taehyung’s stomach and chest now tells him it probably wouldn’t. 

“Gotcha,” Jeongguk whispers before he rips himself easily away. He just gets to his feet when Taehyung grabs him by the leg to yank him back down. 

“You’ll pay for that -“

Taehyung stills, ready to continue in his wrestling match when he catches the sound of noise outside. He cocks his head in the direction so Jeongguk won’t take this moment to get the upper hand, but he’s already on his feet.

What the hell. Taehyung shakes his head at himself mentally. For years after their falling out, Taehyung had missed this. Easily playing with Jeongguk, and this is very similar to that. But it comes with the same aggravating thoughts it did back then, and Taehyung wishes they would shut the fuck up.  

Jeongguk gets to the door before him, his shoulders squared though it’s a wolf they’ve already met. A wolf with pledged loyalty.

Taehyung presses a hand to Jeongguk’s back as he tips around him to greet Jimin with a breathless smile. 

“Alpha,” Jimin greets, pushing up on his toes. He surges sideways and yanks a suitcase to his side. “Sorry if I’m interrupting…again. This was dropped at my apartment, and I’m assuming it’s yours.”

Jeongguk grabs the suitcase, the muscles in his back still tense. He doesn’t move or push the suitcase inside, but remains standing in the doorway like a blockage.

Taehyung wants to roll his eyes or scold, but he bites his tongue in the presence of another wolf. “Thank you, Alpha.”

A giggle escapes Jimin, a guilty look passing over his face. “Well, I stole it so I could have a reason to stop by and invite you over for dinner. Namjoon is cooking. Well, he’s going to try but Yoongi will probably kick him out and take over. That usually happens, anyway - yeah, so anyway we’re having a welcome dinner, if you’d like to join.”

Taehyung should. It’s polite, but he’s feeling a bit winded and exposed right now and it’s overriding his politeness. 

“Your father told us you’d be here today,” Jimin explains quickly before Taehyung can respond. “So we were preparing something.”

“That doesn’t really give us room to decline, does it?” Jeongguk supplies, head cocking as if his tone isn’t dripping with sarcasm.

Taehyung flicks him in the back of the head so Jimin can’t see and gently forces himself in front of Jeongguk. He doesn’t make it easy, body locking up so Taehyung has to actually grit his teeth to get him to move back. He falters in his movements when Jeongguk rests a hand to his waist, one Taehyung assumes he’s going to use to move him aside but it remains still. “We wouldn’t think of doing so. Ignore him, traveling makes him grumpy.”

Jeongguk snorts quietly behind him, but Taehyung ignores him when Jimin’s face brightens considerably. 

“It’ll only be a few of us,” Jimin explains, grabbing Taehyung’s hands in excitement. “Just some wolves that Seokjin, my second, has met through your father’s work program. You can leave anytime. Your father just said you have a hard time making friends -”

Oh god. Taehyung wants to shut the door and bury himself in it. It doesn’t help that Jeongguk makes a sound like he’s lost all that grumpiness and is now incredibly humored by Jimin instead. 

“Shouldn’t have said that.” Jimin snaps his fingers and wiggles them, his expression forming into a grimace. “I made this so awkward, I’m sorry. I need to go wash my mouth out with soap so it’ll learn to stop saying such stupid shit. Ugh, anyway, just - yeah. Yoongi and Hoseok are coming over around seven, so anytime -”

Jimin is a bit amusing, though Taehyung still feels incredibly embarrassed his father would say such a thing. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to process that emotion when his body is too busy trying to process the hand Jeongguk still has on his waist. “From Gwangju?”

“Yes.” Jimin perks up, though he still looks apologetic. “Hoseok said you two met. He said you and your mate. You can invite them -”

“I don’t have one,” Taehyung blurts, his face burning. “He must have misunderstood.”

Jimin’s eyes flick behind him, and Taehyung doesn’t want to know what Jeongguk is doing behind him to catch his attention but he does know that Jeongguk finally moves back and away from him. “He must have. Okay, see you then. Wait, are you allergic to anything?”

“Not that I know of.”

A smile bursts across Jimin’s face before he claps Taehyung on the shoulder. “Alright, see you then. Seven o’clock!”

Taehyung hesitates after Jimin is out of view to shut the door and turn around. Jeongguk is back to his suitcase, pulling clothes out. His hoodie is now gone, thrown haphazardly over the couch and Taehyung wonders when he took it off. If that is what caused Jimin to look at him, even though that would be such an absurd moment to start undressing.

“You don’t have to go,” Taehyung says apologetically. “It would just be rude for me not to.”

Jeongguk glances up at him, but he continues repiling his clothes. “I’m going, and I’m putting this in the closet. Or would you like to pick up where we left off?”

Part of Taehyung isn’t opposed, but he needs to stop this habit now that they’re out of the forest. The other part of him wants to argue, but he’s already given Jeongguk too much. “See? Hoseok thought we were mates because I probably smelled like you just from how close you get all the time.”

There’s a spark in Jeongguk’s eye as he drops the clothing in his hands and comes near. He gives Taehyung a questioning look that he doesn’t understand before his fingers circle around his wrist to hold him in place. 

He doesn’t know what he expects, but it’s definitely not how slowly Jeongguk leans in to brush his nose over his throat. The way his head tilts in time with it, one would think Taehyung did see it coming, but he freezes in the surprise of it all. 

It’s a lot gentler than how Jeongguk rubbed against him before they fell to the floor and doesn’t feel as teasing as that did. Goosebumps erupt across his skin as Jeongguk’s inhale tickles over his skin. His fingers flex around Taehyung’s wrist as he rubs his nose against him and exhales at the hinge of his jaw.

“You smell like you,” Jeongguk murmurs softly before he steps back. He lets his fingers linger on Taehyung for a moment before letting go. “And a bit like the forest still.”

Taehyung doesn’t move. It feels like Jeongguk just purposefully scented him, but that’s impossible. Taehyung hasn’t done that with another wolf since he was a pup. After a certain age, it isn’t acceptable to do so to another wolf.

He wants to layer Jeongguk with his own scent. 

“I’ll put my things in that other room if it bothers you so much,” Jeongguk concedes, eyes rolling. He picks up a pile of clothes, hesitating for a moment before he looks at Taehyung in the eye. “Does it really bother you that much?” 

Taehyung holds the gaze even if it feels as if it takes every ounce of strength in his body to do so. He’s not sure how the muscles in his neck manage to survive his nod. “Yes, it does.”

Jeongguk presses his lips closed and doesn’t respond. He only nods before he walks off with the pile of clothes in his hands. 

The day is mostly quiet. With Jeongguk taking over the other room with his clothes, Taehyung is forced to take the bedroom. He stays in there mostly, unpacking and organizing as he listens for Jeongguk in the rest of the apartment. 

He doesn’t make much noise, and when Taehyung realizes how much he’s listening for him, he finally decides to turn some music on. It eases him and the lyrics allow for a distraction from his thoughts, which is just a constant battle as to whether Jeongguk scented him or not and why he would do such a thing. 

Taehyung doesn’t know how much time passes when he’s finished with his closet and filling the bookshelf when he turns around and finds Jeongguk leaning against his doorframe.

He jumps, a hand pressed to his heart before he grabs his pillow and launches it across the room. “How long have you been standing there, you creep?”

Jeongguk leaps forward to grab the pillow, but he tosses it back onto the bed instead of hurtling it towards him. “Only a few seconds, but long enough for you to see whatever the hell kind of dance you just did. If that’s what it was. I was a bit concerned when I first walked in.”

Taehyung bites the inside of his cheek. He suddenly can’t remember what his body was doing a few seconds ago. “What do you want?”

“It’s six. I’m going to shower and get ready. Wanted to know if you wanted to use it first?”

He should. Since he has been so preoccupied with thoughts of Jeongguk nosing at his skin, he’s felt as if he only smells him now. It’s probably all in his head, but it feels like it. “No. I’m good.”

Jeongguk arches a brow, his hands tucking into his pockets. “No?”

Taehyung wants to grab his collar and smell himself because Jeongguk asks like he’s surprised. “No…?”

“Alright. I’ll make sure to use a lot of scented soap so I don’t stink up the neighbor’s house or whatever it is you accused me of doing.”

God, Taehyung should have never said anything. Jeongguk is never going to let him live this down. He ignores him and instead replies, “I can run out and get you some makeup.”

Jeongguk waves a dismissive hand at him. “I don’t need it.”

Shifting awkwardly on his feet, Taehyung debates speaking his first thought out loud. He’s hesitant to because it feels like he’s admitting something he’s not when he really intends only to point out the obvious. He tries to tell himself that’s all he’s doing, but it doesn’t help much. 

“The way it looks,” is all Taehyung manages. He waves a hand out, though nowhere in the direction of Jeongguk’s bruised neck. “You know.”

Jeongguk frowns deeply. He looks over Taehyung a moment before he shrugs. “I’ll just say I was acting out and you had to put me in place.”

“You don’t want people to think that, though,” Taehyung points out.

He can’t breathe.

The frown seems to grow on Jeongguk’s face. He looks aggravated now. “Okay, then you don’t know how to be playful and bit too hard. Is that better?”

“Yes.”

Taehyung worries he responded too quickly. It is a lie, they both know it is, he shouldn’t worry if he comes off like it is. But he is. 

“Then don’t worry about it,” Jeongguk says as he moves to walk out. “If anyone thinks it’s something else, I’m the only one who will get shit for it anyway. So let me worry about it.”

Taehyung nibbles ruthlessly at his inner lip, not responding. He doesn’t get a chance to as Jeongguk makes his leave without pause. He stands there for a few minutes staring at where Jeongguk was before he forces himself to do as Jeongguk does and start getting ready.

He doesn’t really know the proper etiquette here. Sure, he’s visited other wolves’ homes and gone to dinners alongside his father, but those all felt like business meetings. This, he’s sure, isn’t that. Jimin has a vibe about it that just suggests it’s going to be casual, fun. Friends over for dinner. Whatever that means.

He’s probably just overthinking, he realizes as he moves through his newly hung clothes and tries to find something that says casual and fun. When his father first started preparing him to go into the city by himself, he had hoped he could be treated normally by other wolves and not as the future head honcho. There is still some expectation that he’ll be treated a certain way out of respect and position, but he doesn’t want to always feel like the alpha when he’s trying to make friends.

First, Taehyung needs to present himself that way. He chooses slacks and a shirt that is comfortable, casual, but nice enough that if this dinner isn’t as casual as he’s anticipating, he won’t look too out of place. He fixes his hair because it’s still a bit ruffled from fighting with Jeongguk and scratching his head trying to figure his shit out, but skips over his lotions and colognes because some wolves have sensitive noses. 

Jeongguk, on the other hand, looks like the bodyguard he not so jokingly pretends to be. He’s dressed in all black from his slippers to the coat he is pulling on when Taehyung comes out of hiding. Taehyung holds his comment about the heat this time because the graphic tank-top he wears beneath is one that he abhors.

It’s just…pointless. Taehyung has seen Jeongguk in it a few times and has always wondered why he even bothers wearing clothing at all. The collar is stretched out and the arm holes are ripped so far down the sides so he’s practically naked. It really only covers his torso from the front and back view. It’s so dumb.

Taehyung’s seen it quite a few times but don’t ask him what the graphic on the front is because he has no idea. He just thinks the graphic is white, probably. 

“The shower is really nice,” Jeongguk comments as he shakes his fingers through his damp hair. “The filter is better than the one we have back home.”

Taehyung watches Jeongguk mess with his hair before he grabs a black cap and tucks it on the top of his head. He does catch a whiff of soap, but Jeongguk used his and it isn’t helping. “Noted.”

Jeongguk makes a face at him. “What’s wrong with you?” 

It’s a question Taehyung could repeat back to him. Not only is Jeongguk only sporting a bite mark , but he used a soap that makes him smell a bit like Taehyung as well. It doesn’t look good, especially if Taehyung smells like him as much as he thinks he does.

Sure, Jeongguk claimed he didn’t care what other people think the other day, but Taehyung didn’t fully believe him because he knows Jeongguk cares about certain things. And this, this is going out of his way to make people think those things.

When Jeongguk admitted to being confusing, Taehyung isn’t sure he knew just how confusing he really is. 

“Just a little nervous,” Taehyung admits. He doesn’t want to admit things to Jeongguk, but he needs to get out of his head. “My father was a bit right. I’m kind of bad at making friends.”

Jeongguk’s expression twists more, making him look like he’s offended by that. “Not true. You were friends with everyone before we were all pushed to be so focused on mating and ‘future alpha’ started to have more meaning.”

Taehyung hesitates at that. He’s sure Jeongguk probably feels that way because it seems like it’s been an eternity since the conversation started. Since Jeongguk’s name started being whispered around because of crushes and desires, the compliments no longer just a praise but reasons he would make a perfect mate.

And for Taehyung, it feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s been able to hang out with anyone other than Seokmin and not feel like the entire interaction isn’t about that.

Suddenly, Taehyung understands what Jeongguk meant when he said he felt hunted. 

“Maybe. In this case though, I don’t want to be treated differently because of who I am,” Taehyung says. He moves the bracelets around his wrists to give him something to do. “I don’t think I’ll have to deal with anyone wanting to mate with me.”

Jeongguk prods his tongue ruthlessly at the side of his mouth, his gaze focused on where Taehyung touches his wrists. “I could have been wrong about Jimin and his second, and maybe he - you know, I could understand why mating with the second from Busan would be beneficial to our pack. And it would get eyes off of them if something were going on between them.”

Taehyung whips his head up, frowning at Jeongguk who looks annoyed himself. “What?”

With a hard roll of his eyes, Jeongguk closes the space between them and grabs Taehyung’s collar. He carefully fixes it, though Taehyung had already done so.

“Nothing,” Jeongguk grumbles. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

Taehyung bites his tongue as he feels Jeongguk’s thumbs touch his neck before he lets go. It was an accident. Taehyung is just noticing it because he’s been noticing everything, and Jeongguk is acting kind of strange. But that’s just because Jeongguk is strange. Nothing else.

“The food should be good if Yoongi cooks. He’s the one that owns the restaurant, remember?”

Taehyung follows after Jeongguk silently as he yanks open the front door. Jeongguk talks quickly about the meal he had gotten from there, his words rushed so it’s already hard to follow. But Taehyung is barely listening as he tries to figure out what the fuck Jeongguk just meant about Jimin’s second. 

They weren’t told which apartment was Jimin’s, but Taehyung knows which one it is without that. He can hear Jimin’s laughter on the other side, and his scent grows much stronger the closer they get. Up until now, Taehyung was worried everyone would walk on eggshells around him, but now he’s worrying that he should have braced himself for more.

Because Jeongguk is right. That’s one of the main focuses for wolves their age. It’s even part of many of his conversations with his friends, with Jeongguk, even if Taehyung doesn’t have any interest himself.

He just didn’t consider what Jeongguk said about Jimin’s second..

And Jeongguk’s been given permission from the Alpha to mate with someone he can’t continue his line with.

That satisfaction returns tenfold as Taehyung eyes the mark on Jeongguk’s throat once again. 

“Alpha! Jeongguk-ssi,” Jimin shouts as he opens the door before Taehyung can knock on it. “Come in, come in. I am excited for you to meet Namjoon.”

Before Taehyung can get a chance to say much or fully kick off his slides, Jimin wraps his hand around his and tugs him inside. Jeongguk immediately twists his fingers into the back of Taehyung’s shirt, but he’s just as quick to let go. 

“He gets a little sweaty when he’s nervous,” Jimin whispers. “So don’t be concerned.”

Their apartment is quite similar to Taehyung’s own, only facing the opposite direction. He briefly wonders if it also has one actual bedroom, but the thought makes his face just as warm as the face he’s nearly shoved into a few moments later.

Standing over the kitchen counter is a broad wolf, hair tousled and just as sweaty as Jimin mentioned. He bows his head quickly, diverting his eyes, but he waves out the cooking utensil before him and causes droplets of grease to speckle the floor and Taehyung’s shoes.

“Kim Namjoon,” he hears, though it’s quiet. His whole body tenses for a moment before he drops and wipes at the mess he made. “I’m sorry, Alpha.”

Jimin shakes his head, but he looks fond. He carefully extracts the cooking utensil and cups beneath Namjoon’s elbow to urge him back up. “I told him there’s nothing to be nervous about.”

“Not nervous,” Namjoon corrects as he wipes over his glistening forehead. “Jimin-ah just forgets that a wolf like me isn’t used to being around so many wolves of status. It’s my instinct to make myself small.”

Already . Taehyung tries not to react but Jeongguk steps up behind him and lands a hand on his shoulder like he knows what’s in his mind.

“Yoongi’s technically an alpha,” Jimin explains. “Namjoon gets a little tongue tied when he’s around too. This is Jeon Jeongguk, love, I told you about him.”

Jeongguk’s fingers clench around Taehyung’s shoulder, but he nods his head in greeting. 

“Right.” Namjoon wipes his hand on his pants before offering it to Jeongguk. “Your grandmother helped deliver me.”

Jimin giggles and pats Namjoon on the chest. “I thought you weren’t going to mention that.”

Somehow, Namjoon’s face seems to get redder. He grimaces at himself as Jeongguk shakes his hand. “Sorry. I am actually a little nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Jeongguk says, letting go of both Namjoon and Taehyung. “My mother doesn’t talk about her pack much, so in turn, I don’t know much.”

Taehyung doesn’t know if that seems to linger tensely between them or if he’s just expecting it to because of what he knows about Jeongguk’s mother. He intervenes either way, taking the conversation into his hands and throwing it aside.

“Thank you for inviting us,” Taehyung tries. “Are you both new to the city?”

“I am,” Jimin explains as he makes his way to the refrigerator to open it and wave at the contents inside. “Namjoon has been a part of your father’s work program for, how long now, babe? A little over a year? What would you two like to drink?”

Maybe Jeongguk is right. Jimin seems so open, comfortable. ‘Babe’ and ‘love’ slip out of Jimin’s mouth like it’s second nature. It makes Taehyung’s heart jump in a good way, but there’s a spark of something new inside of him that he hasn’t allowed himself to feel in some time because it grew into a storm cloud that ruined most of Taehyung’s days for a while.

Envy.

“Just water, thanks,” Jeongguk responds for the both of them, leaving Taehyung’s side at the same time Namjoon responds.

“Great program. If you’re anything like your father, you have my full support. He has done a lot of great things in a short time,” Namjoon says with a smile that falters. “If you’re not, I just made this awkward, sorry.”

Jimin cackles, his eyes squeezing closed with it. “That’s Yoongi and Hoseok. Don’t go on a Kim Seonghoon love rant while I’m gone.”

Taehyung tenses up, praying silently that Namjoon wouldn’t do anything like that. But Namjoon only rolls his eyes and shakes his head as if he can read Taehyung’s mind.

“I don’t do that,” Namjoon clarifies. “I’m just a supporter. If you ever want to discuss politics, I’m all game, but I have a feeling you get enough of that.”

Taehyung relaxes considerably and accepts the bottle Jeongguk offers him. “Not much yet. After I graduate, I’ll be thrusted in. My father has pulled me into some things, but I’ve only just recently started dealing with pack happenings.”

Namjoon looks surprised. “Jimin says that’s mostly just wolves complaining about each other.”

Amusement swells up inside of Taehyung. He’s glad to hear it isn’t only his pack. He doesn’t respond as he steps back to be beside Jeongguk, wishing not to make him feel excluded from the conversation. But a moment later the kitchen is crowded as Jimin returns with the two wolves Taehyung recognizes from the restaurant in tow.

“Alpha Kim,” Hoseok greets first, pulling Taehyung into an embrace like they’re good friends. He moves a fist once he lets go like he may offer it to Jeongguk before he slowly eases it away. “I didn’t meet your mate before.”

Taehyung coughs uncomfortably. Did it just get incredibly quiet around them? Even the sizzling from the pan sounds extra loud suddenly. “Oh, uh, Jeon Jeongguk, my second.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline. “Scandalous.”

Panic shoots through Taehyung, and he quickly shakes his head. “No, no. Not mate.”

He has to take a moment to make sure it was him that spoke and not his wolf because the word mine rests so heavenly on his tongue. 

Jeongguk grins, looking much more friendly than he did a second ago as he also offers his fist to Hoseok. He looks amused when Hoseok pounds their fists together. “Nice to meet you.”

“And Min Yoongi,” Hoseok says, turning towards the man they hadn’t met. He doesn’t offer a fist either, though Taehyung was starting to wonder if it was a proper form of greeting from where they’re from. He wouldn’t be surprised by the lack of formality, as Hoseok doesn’t title Yoongi properly.

“Huh.” Yoongi crosses his arms, glancing between the two of them. He doesn’t hide the fact that he seems to be looking them over, but what he’s looking for Taehyung doesn't know.

It kind of puts him on edge, but he’s also starting to get hot with this wolf stuffed kitchen.

“Jimin-ah, I could use a drink.”

Yoongi side steps them without a proper greeting, maneuvering himself around until he’s at the fridge. Hoseok offers them a look that seems to be apologetic and grasps onto Taehyung’s arm again.

“Anyway, what courses are you taking? University sounds like hell, to be honest.”

Once the food is cooked and they’re all seated, with some breathing space, Taehyung’s nerves quiet. He actually thinks the wolves are quite funny. Their constant chatter and teasing of each other makes it a bit easier for Taehyung to relax, and it helps that Jeongguk does too.

The only thing is, Jeongguk is incredibly quiet. As social as Jeongguk is back home, it surprises him now. He just watches mostly, only responding when he’s directly talked to. Even when Taehyung tries to coax him into joining in, he doesn’t. 

“You alright?” Taehyung murmurs very quietly as he sits himself next to Jeongguk, his hands full of a heavy plate. “You can leave if you want to.”

Jeongguk’s brows furrow together, and he shakes his head like Taehyung is saying something ridiculous. His mouth is full, so he doesn’t respond, but Taehyung has a feeling he won’t anyway so he looks away and tries to listen into the conversations around him. 

“You know how Jin is. He wants it done, he’ll get it done, even if it takes everything out of him. That man will bleed out on the street -”

“Don’t,” Jimin grunts, a growl slipping into his tone as he plants his hand to Namjoon’s chest to quiet him. “You know I hate that you two constantly reference dying.”

Namjoon curls his fingers around Jimin’s hand and brings it up to his mouth. There’s a fond look in his eyes when he turns back to Yoongi, never letting Jimin’s hand go. “Alpha Seonghoon’s poor assistants probably cry inside every time Jin shows up. He’s ruthless.”

Taehyung looks away at the mention of his father because he drags Jimin’s attention to him. There’s something whispered like a warning before Namjoon clears his throat and loudly changes the subject.

“So Jin will be here soon. He’s actually very excited to meet you, Alpha Taehyung.” Taehyung is forced to look back at them then. “And Jeongguk, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Jeongguk repeats quietly, to himself, but Namjoon looks sheepish as soon as he says it.

“Wolves have a pack mentality, but that stretches out to others not in their own pack. If they share the same blood.”

Taehyung doesn’t think before he has his hand slipping under the table and grazing over Jeongguk’s thigh. He latches on because Jeongguk had been worried he would react and he needs to himself. An assurance for both, because at that moment, Taehyung wonders if Jeongguk’s father is right to be paranoid.

There is not a single doubt in Taehyung’s mind that his father knows this, unless Namjoon is lying. But Taehyung can’t think of a reason he would do so. And it only makes sense because Jeongguk had told him he would have been Jimin’s second if his mother was never banished. 

“Is that so?”

Everyone looks awkward suddenly. Jimin’s smile is part grimace, Namjoon sweats more than ever. Hoseok jerks forward and mutters something to himself that has Yoongi glaring at him. Jeongguk just keeps his gaze on Namjoon, a curious expression on his face, and ignores the call in Taehyung’s touch.

“I - er, I assumed you knew.” Namjoon rubs at the back of his neck. “When you said your mother doesn’t speak much about her pack, I didn’t realize -”

Jeongguk flares up, but Taehyung thinks he should have more trust in himself because he doesn’t do anything. Taehyung just feels it, and even more so when Jeongguk’s hand slides over his own and his claws scrape his fingers. 

“Why would she want to talk about a pack that kicked her out?”

Shit. Taehyung’s eyes flutter closed for a moment. If Jeongguk gets angry, his wolf will too, and that won’t be good. He doesn’t want to fight with anyone because he actually likes these wolves but for some reason, he has two different brains when it comes to Jeongguk.

Jimin pulls away from Namjoon to move closer to them. He sinks to his knees in front of their table and slowly reaches a hand out, palm facing upwards. His eyes only dart to Taehyung’s for a moment, a knowing look in them, before he settles them onto Jeongguk. 

“Before that gets in between us,” Jimin starts slowly, “I want you to know that I, in no way, support what happened to your mother. Nor did my father. He mourned -”

Jeongguk lays his hand over Jimin’s, though he doesn’t retract his claws. “He didn’t come for her, so I will stop you there. I would -”

“I know,” Jimin interrupts. He smiles and they’re quiet, like they’re sharing a thought. “For another time though, no? I just want to clear the air before the conversation moves further. We’re always told to listen to our instincts, to embrace our wolf. If our wolf claims another, we are only traitors to ourselves if we ignore it. No one should be banned for that.”

Taehyung’s heart sings. He can’t look at Jeongguk though he wants to. He wants to see his expression and breathe into his neck because at that moment, Jeongguk’s claws recede and then it’s only fingers slipping through Taehyung’s beneath the table. 

“When my grandmother passed and my father took over, your mother was welcomed back,” Jimin says, settling back onto his butt. He places his hands to the table, palms still up. “It’s understandable why she wouldn’t return. She was the one betrayed, no? That’s how I look at it, at least.”

Jeongguk relaxes against Taehyung “I was telling Taehyung on our way here that I’m thinking about taking you up on that offer to join your mate’s sculpting classes.”

The corner of Jimin’s mouth twitches, but Jeongguk’s eyes stray to Namjoon who jerks up with his eyes wide and immediately nods.

“Of course. That would be wonderful.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t let Taehyung’s hand go. Taehyung can’t resist the urge to look down and see their fingers intertwined, the words ‘we can’t be friends’ echoing through his mind in Jeongguk’s voice.

He doesn’t pull away either, even when he goes back to eating. It doesn’t matter because Jeongguk beside him is settled. 

It isn’t until Jimin jumps to his toes and announces the arrival of his second that the claws extend and push into Taehyung’s knuckles again.

“Your father didn’t tell me,” Jeongguk whispers, his head tilting close to Taehyung’s face. “He should have told me.”

Taehyung agrees. He doesn’t get it either. He slowly stands though Jeongguk doesn’t let go. When he does, it’s quick like he’s worried the others will see. His expression is apologetic.

We can’t be friends.

Jin smells like Jimin and Namjoon. It’s the first thing Taehyung notices about him. It’s much more potent than it is with Jimin and Namjoon, though Taehyung assumed because he’s in their apartment, everything will smell like them.

But Jin, he’s soaked in it. He also has a friendly face, his mouth stretched into a smile and his eyes blazing as he wipes his bangs back before bowing before him.

“Alpha Kim,” Jin greets. “I was actually just at your father’s building. Hoping to -”

“He didn’t return with us,” Taehyung says apologetically. “He had something to take care of in the pack, but I’m sure he’ll be here in a few days.”

Jin nods. There’s a stack of folders in his hands that he places down on the kitchen divider. Taehyung wonders what it is that Jin is so adamant about at his father’s office, but he also doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want Jin to start petitioning him here when he’s just trying to make friends. 

“This is my second -”

Jeongguk is behind him. Taehyung hadn’t realized he had gotten so close. He steps aside to make sure Jeongguk’s claws aren’t out, but neither he nor Jin move. They simply look at each other while Taehyung looks between them for any resemblance.

“It is nice to finally meet you,” Jin says. He reaches out, cupping Jeongguk’s forearm. Taehyung doesn’t miss how his eyes trail over the mark on Jeongguk’s throat more obviously than the other’s had, and he doesn’t doubt Jeongguk sees it too. “You don’t look as scary as Yoongi said you were.”

“Hey.” Yoongi scowls, eyes narrowed at Jin. “I never said that.”

Argument rises on Jin’s face. He points an accusing finger at Yoongi from over Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Yes you did. Didn’t he, Hoseok-ah?” 

Hoseok glares at Seokjin too, but he doesn’t respond. Instead, he buries his face into Yoongi’s shoulder and nuzzles him against him.

Taehyung’s gaze lingers rudely even when Jeongguk finally responds. 

“I am uncomfortable in new places,” Jeongguk explains. Taehyung holds in his snort because the day they met Hoseok, Jeongguk looked as if he were ready to fight a woman and her child just for looking at them. “And with…new wolves.”

Jin nods in understanding. He moves to wrap an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders in a familiar way. “Me too. But you feel it, don’t you? It’s not noticeable when you’re amongst your pack because it’s always there, but when you’re meeting someone new -”

Jeongguk nods. Taehyung wants to ask, but he only tilts his had curiously and wonders what they both mean. “You smell a bit like my mother.”

The look Jin gives Jeongguk is a bit hesitant, his mouth parting, and Taehyung doesn’t like it. He doesn’t know why, but it doesn’t last long before Jin gives him a much softer smile that relaxes him. 

“To me, you only smell like your alpha.”

Heat bursts across Taehyung’s face. He ignores that and settles back at his seat, something smug rises inside of him and showing on Jeongguk’s face.

“So um, what were you going to speak to Alpha Kim about?” Jeongguk quickly asks. He tilts his head as if to hide the mark on his throat though that literally does nothing. “I think Namjoon said you were really passionate about it.”

There’s a collective groan that rings through the room. Jimin pouts in complaint as he grabs onto Jin’s arm to urge him to sit between him and Namjoon. “No offense, hyung, but once you get him started, he’ll never stop.”

Jin shakes his head. “It’s important.”

“It is,” Yoongi pipes in, his arm around Hoseok’s waist now. “But we’re here to have fun. Not talk about the sad things we can’t change.”

Protest erupts on Jin’s face, his body jerking straight, but Jimin wraps an arm around his chest and drags him back. “Fun, yes! Let me get the drinks.”

Taehyung has fun. His nerves simmer easily around these new wolves as they make jokes and laugh, telling stories that has laughter rumbling from both Jeongguk and him as well. He finds he likes these wolves, though there are moments when Jin laughs or smiles wide that he’s reminded of Seokmin, missing him already.

He didn’t get to say goodbye because they left quite quickly. As soon as the thought hits, Jeongguk leans into him and rubs their shoulders together. He doesn’t ask, and Taehyung’s glad because he doesn’t want to be the one to ruin the mood.

It seems important to Jimin that everyone is having fun. He looks around often, taking everyone in. He reaches out if someone is quiet and is on top of drinks and food the moment he notices someone’s plate or cup is empty.

Taehyung doesn’t touch the drinks, though he considers it a few times because Jimin offers often.  He’s just thankful he doesn’t when he watches Jimin’s face start to warm and he gets even more latched onto his mate, rubbing up against him and nostrils flaring against his skin. Because surrounded by so many new wolves, the urge to do the same to Jeongguk has been simmering somewhere inside of him since they first arrived. 

Somehow, Jeongguk gets roped into a game of arm wrestling. It isn’t as surprising how quickly he accepts the challenge because Jeongguk is the most competitive wolf that Taehyung knows, but it is surprising when it takes Yoongi less than a minute to get Jeongguk’s arm pinned down. 

Jeongguk isn’t ruffled. He slides off his coat and claps his hands together before offering Yoongi one a second time, demanding for a retrial.

Taehyung stares, he knows he does. He watches the muscles bulge in Jeongguk’s arm, his jaw tense with the strength he puts into it. Even the muscles over his ribs flex with the effort, his nostrils flaring and a soft snarl rumbling from his throat that has Yoongi’s lips quirking in amusement. 

When he loses a second time, he looks winded. Yoongi looks pleased. Taehyung expects a third round because that’s how Jeongguk is, but he offers Yoongi his hand for a different reason.

“You’re stronger than you look, Alpha.”

Yoongi grabs onto his hand. “No need. I’ve stepped down from the position.”

It seems to linger in the air. Taehyung braces himself for Jeongguk’s response because it’s wrong. It’s worse for an alpha to abandon his pack willingly than it is for any other wolf within to betray their pack. Hoseok seems to brace himself too because he’s behind Yoongi in a second, a hand cupping over his shoulder and a closed look off on his face that’s so different from the bright smiles he’s been wearing all night.

But Jeongguk doesn’t say anything about it. He just nods his head, fingers squeezing around Yoongi’s. “You’re stronger than you look, Yoongi-ssi.”

Jimin moves then and urges Jeongguk from his seat. He is quick to pull up his own sleeve to wave his fingers tauntingly at Yoongi. “My turn. I won’t go easy on you, Min.”

There’s a soft smile on Jeongguk’s face when he returns to Taehyung. He leans down close to him but at the last second takes up the space beside him. 

“Wish you took loss from me like that,” Taehyung jokes. Up close, he can see the beads of sweat that are starting to dry at Jeongguk’s hairline. “You would have taken me all night.”

Jeongguk bites at his bottom lip, panting slightly. When he places a hand down to lean closer, his hand sits over Taehyung’s. “I would have.”

Taehyung’s heart stutters in his chest. They can’t be friends, he reminds himself. The last few hours of fun, Jeongguk was a part of that too. Often, Taehyung was smiling because Jeongguk was laughing beside him.

They can’t be friends.

And Taehyung doesn’t want to be. 

“Would you?” Taehyung finds himself saying before he can register what he even means. He tilts his head as Jeongguk’s eyes move over his face, all over his face. Jumping curiously from his eyes to his mouth as his teeth drag over his own.

His nostrils flare, and Taehyung thinks he’s gotten closer though there’s not much room between them for him to get any closer. 

His lips part, and Taehyung’s heart thumps again, but Jeongguk’s words are halted by a loud, sudden snarl from Jimin.

Taehyung rips away from Jeongguk in alarm, but Jimin’s expression is just as bright despite his pulled back lips. He holds Yoongi’s arm tight to the table before he lets it go and nuzzles against the back of his hand.

Yoongi’s expression twists in misery but the glint in his eyes is a little too bright. “You cheater.”

Jimin cackles, jumping to his toes. “How did I possibly cheat? Don’t be ridiculous. Take the loss, hyung. Alpha Taehyung, c’mere.”

Embarrassment sets in Taehyung because there’s a sizzle through his body, the butterflies erupting in his stomach, and he’s sure everyone can sense it. That Jeongguk can sense it. 

If he can, well, he understands why Jeongguk thinks he’s confusing too. 

“Don’t go easy,” Jimin says with a wag of his brows as Taehyung takes Yoongi’s seat across from him. 

Taehyung doesn’t.

He has Jimin’s arm down in a few seconds.

When he looks to Jeongguk after his victory, Jeongguk is looking back at him with his eyes blazing. 

Taehyung is pretty sure that’s how he had been watching Jeongguk too.

The butterflies return, and he swears Jimin looks at him like he knows. 

When the night turns to early morning and most of them can barely keep their eyes open, Taehyung and Jeongguk take their leave.

Taehyung is exhausted, but he had a fun night and he’s happy. Jeongguk looks it too when he opens their apartment door for him to enter first, their eyes meeting briefly.

Their apartment is quiet. The only light is from the moon streaming through the opened windows. Neither of them speak as they take off their shoes, as Jeongguk slips the jacket from his body and walks towards where he will be sleeping. The shirt comes next and then his hands go to his waist, and Taehyung just watches him. 

He watches the moon kiss Jeongguk’s skin and shadow his face. He watches Jeongguk pull on a pair of sweats. When Jeongguk tightens the tie around his waist and finally looks back to him, Taehyung just watches him.

“They’re nice,” Jeongguk says, his voice quiet because this time at night calls for it. He jerks his head in the direction of Jimin’s apartment as he nears. “Funny. Jimin’s kind. I can tell he’s going to be a good alpha.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything. He remains where he is, taking in every inch of Jeongguk. How he moves closer, how he fiddles with the ties of his pants. How he avoids eye contact yet doesn’t at the same time.

“You know what he said about -”

“We can’t be friends.”

It comes out like a breath. Taehyung doesn’t know if he even says it loud enough for Jeongguk to hear, but he must because his mouth closes and his head tilts.

His expression is soft though because the night calls for that too.

Taehyung pushes away from where he was standing and is the one to close the space between them. He runs a knuckle over the mark he can barely see in the dark and then his thumb. When he brushes his palm over Jeongguk’s skin, he’s pleased with how warm Jeongguk is. 

“What did you mean when you said that?”

It’s been a question in his mind since, because when Jeongguk said that, it made him think and realize . He was angry but when Jeongguk approached him, he was only concerned. When they wrestled later, Taehyung bit Jeongguk hard enough to leave a mark that hasn’t yet faded.

When Taehyung laid in bed, his mind sang a song of mine, mine, mine that hasn’t stopped playing since. 

“When you said you won’t enjoy being by my side as my second hand, what did you mean?”

Jeongguk’s cheek bulges with how hard he thrusts the tip of his tongue into it. “Taehyung -”

“What did you mean, Jeongguk?” 

Taehyung lets his hand fall away from Jeongguk’s neck, though he craves the warmth. Not just in his fingers, but he is tempted to move closer to feel it against every part of him. 

“Shouldn’t have conversations like this when you look as if you’re about to fall asleep any moment,” Jeongguk whispers. He reaches up to cup the back of Taehyung’s neck, his fingers scratching over his scalp, and Taehyung is tired. Tired of battling with himself all day, tired of being aware of every move he makes. Everything that may come off of him.

He leans his head into Jeongguk’s touch and Jeongguk doesn’t look tired. His eyes are intense like they get, wide open, and his fingers are so gentle. 

“Will you ever have that conversation with me?”

Jeongguk bites onto his bottom lip. “Ask yourself that.”

It’s a fair response. Taehyung avoids, and avoids, and avoids. It probably is only the late hour, the exhaustion, the battle, that has him asking now. 

The envy too. He felt it spike every time Jimin and Namjoon interacted. The craving burned inside of him stronger than it ever has. 

“I agree with Jimin, you know. Your mother was the one betrayed.”

They’ve never discussed it. Jeongguk doesn’t know he knows and vice versa, but Jeongguk doesn’t look surprised. He only blinks and nods his head.

He moves his hand away completely and tucks both of them into his pockets. 

“Can’t do anything about that. Like Jimin also said: that’s one law that will always remain in place.”

Taehyung shrugs a shoulder as he steps closer. He craves the warmth from Jeongguk’s body, and it’s late, and he’s tired, and he doesn’t care. For once. He lets them press together, lets his fingers trace over the round of Jeongguk’s shoulder as he tries to push through tired thoughts and songs about mates. 

“I don’t know. Never thought my father would allow the Jeon line to end with you,” Taehyung mumbles, meeting Jeongguk in the eye even though it causes his nerves to wake up. “That’s unheard of, but he supports you wholeheartedly. I could see it in his eyes that he does.”

Jeongguk looks at him for a long moment. “And what about his own line?”

It isn’t said cruelly by any means, but Taehyung feels as if Jeongguk has shoved him in the chest and forced him to wake up. This he avoids, he doesn’t want to think about. He craves to know the answer just as badly as he craves Jeongguk’s body right now, but it’s also the last thing he wants. He doesn’t want to know what his father would think if it were him in this situation and not Jeongguk. He doesn’t even want to think about it even if that’s all he ever does. 

“Goodnight Jeongguk,” Taehyung murmurs. He can’t help but brush his palm over Jeongguk’s shoulder once more, squeezing gently. “You also look exhausted.”

Jeongguk takes a step back, nods, and lets his eyes drop to where he starts to fiddle with the strings of his sweatpants again. “Goodnight, Alpha.”

Chapter Text

In the morning, the mark doesn’t seem to have faded any. Taehyung is trying his best not to look too hard, or at Jeongguk at all. As the realizations of what he said the night before swarm around his head, he can’t. 

He shouldn’t have said anything. He shouldn’t have asked Jeongguk what he meant. He shouldn’t have expected an answer because an answer will do nothing but make this harder . He doesn’t know what came over him to do so, but he beats himself up for it in the morning because he’s back to square one. 

What about his own line?

Taehyung doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to act as Jeongguk joins him in the kitchen and opens up the fridge. He’s hyper aware of Jeongguk’s every moment, his ears latched onto the shift of his body, the twist of a bottle cap.

“I’m going to shower and head out,” Jeongguk announces. Does his voice sound as stiff as Taehyung’s body feels, or is he just imagining that? “Anything you need? I can pick it up.”

Taehyung twists slightly, confused. He’s sure it shows on his face because he can’t help it. “Where - I mean, what are your plans?”

Jeongguk isn’t looking at him but the bottle of juice he holds and the cap he repeatedly twists on and off. “Have some things to do.” 

He shouldn’t have said anything. As annoying as it had been when Jeongguk was on his insisting they are always together thing, Taehyung realizes he had expected Jeongguk to stick to that. He’s a bit beside himself, though there’s nothing wrong with them going their separate ways. It’s probably better they do, but there’s a protest inside of himself that he can’t express. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to leave because of him and this animosity he keeps creating, even if it’s only for a short time. 

“Okay.”

The way Jeongguk lingers suggests he isn’t finished speaking, but he doesn’t say anything as he continues to thumb at the cap of his drink. Maybe he’s leaving the silence there for Taehyung to fill it, but Taehyung doesn’t trust himself to.

Maybe he’s a sucker for punishment because, despite berating himself, he has more to say. He has more questions that nag at him. He struggled to fall asleep because he played over scenarios of last night’s conversation going differently. 

Scenarios where a conversation actually happened.

What about his own line?

Why did Jeongguk say that? They were talking about him . This is another reason why Taehyung shouldn’t have said anything because the answers are whispers in his brain but because they only imply and never define, it nags at him to hear it from Jeongguk’s mouth himself. 

“I can pick up something for breakfast,” Jeongguk finally says. 

Taehyung tenses at the sound of his voice, but relaxes when he realizes Jeongguk isn’t acting out one of his imaginary scenarios. “So you won’t be gone long?”

Finally, Jeongguk actually looks at him. His eyes are heavy, tired. “I won’t be gone long.”

It sounds like a promise, and while Taehyung doesn’t know what to do with that, he relaxes even further and turns back to his coffee machine. 

“Alright then.”

He feels Jeongguk behind him, unmoving. Still looking at him probably, that sense of an unfinished conversation still lingering between them.

“Taehyung -“

“Forget what I said last night,” Taehyung interrupts because that’s what’s causing this tension. He’s worried Jeongguk will bring it up. He will answer his question. “What I asked.”

There’s a long moment of silence. Jeongguk doesn’t even move, Taehyung doesn’t hear him breathing before he says, “I figured.”

Despite how right he is, frustration rattles through Taehyung. He grits his teeth, twists his fingers beneath his palms and rests them against the counter restlessly because the coffee is just starting to brew and he has nothing to do with his hands. “You were right about - about it being late and me being tired. It isn’t a conversation we should have.”

“And what conversation is that?”

Taehyung huffs out, turning. He is definitely a sucker for punishment, he thinks as he takes in Jeongguk. “One we’re not having now.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and cocks the bottle in his direction. “Whatever, Taehyung. I’ll be back later.”

He doesn’t take a shower like he says he does. He drops stuffs his nearly full juice into the pocket of his sweatpants, slips on his shoes, and heads out the door.

There’s a lot to be done inside the apartment. Organizing especially since his unpacking yesterday consisted of simply taking things out of the boxes and suitcases and dropping them in small piles around the apartment. He could also take inventory of what they have here, see if he or Jeongguk needs anything before school starts or look over his own courses to prepare himself because he’s been avoiding it. 

He should probably shower. 

He could be friendly and venture over to Jimin’s when he hears the muffled sound of his laugh through the wall. He could call his father and ask how it went with Jongyul or call Seokmin and beg for forgiveness for leaving without saying goodbye.

There’s a lot Taehyung could do but he sits on Jeongguk’s couch and clutches hard onto his coffee mug as he attempts to resist the urge to bury his nose into the arm closest to where Jeongguk lays his head. His coffee goes cold, but he doesn’t mind because he hadn’t wanted it anyway. He sits there with his head back, imagining another scenario where Jeongguk hadn’t said goodnight.

He held onto him the way he does, a hand fit around his arm or waist, and he answers Taehyung’s questions.

We can’t be friends because that isn’t enough -

It’s all we can be -

I don’t want to be by your side as a second, but as -

Taehyung doesn’t know how long he sits there. The television plays, but Taehyung is too much into his own head to pay attention. It only captures his attention for seconds at a time, never holding it.

The only thing that pulls him out of his head is the return of Jeongguk, and not because the takeout he has smells delicious or there’s Jin following behind him.

Taehyung feels like he’s been caught doing something wrong sitting on the couch and flies to his feet the moment he senses Jeongguk near. He feels exposed again, like the scenarios in his head are playing in the air around him when the door opens and Jeongguk’s eyes fall onto him first. 

“I figured we should get to know each other a bit, if you’re - Alpha.” Jin bows his head towards Taehyung but his eyes whip back to Jeongguk before he’s finished with his greeting. “If you’re cool with that. I’d get why you wouldn’t be, but -“

Jeongguk is tense. It shows in his shoulders and the hesitant way he glances towards Taehyung and places the bag of takeout to the kitchen divider. Taehyung wonders if he only got breakfast because he doesn’t think he has been gone long.

Maybe he just needed to leave the apartment, to get away from him. He had worried that was the case, and he can’t quite blame Jeongguk for it. He just is frustrated with himself because he doesn’t want to be the reason Jeongguk feels like he has to leave the apartment. 

He probably should just get it over with and have that conversation he doesn’t want to have. 

“It’s not that I’m not,” Jeongguk starts because Jin is looking at him. Taehyung moves then, not thinking as he slips his hand to Jeongguk’s shoulder unnecessarily and pretends to be interested in the contents of the bag. His stomach is yes, but no organ in his body has been able to speak louder than his heart when it’s focused. “I’m just not involved in the politics of it all like my father is. I came to the city for a reason, and I don’t want to give my alpha a reason to change his mind.”

Taehyung’s eyes linger over Jeongguk’s profile, the tick in his jaw, as he speaks. His palm keeps moving over his shoulders, and despite every tense thing between them, Jeongguk doesn’t push him aside. 

“And what is that reason?”

Jeongguk hands a container to Taehyung, their eyes meeting briefly. “For Taehyung.”

“So he has it planned for you to be involved,” Jin goes on, and Taehyung wants to ask, demand , what this is about because whatever it is, it’s making Jeongguk uncomfortable. “He is a good wolf, you know. Kinder than his father, though the man was considered more progressive for his time.”

As hungry as he is, Taehyung ignores the container of food and twists his body to look at the both of them. He keeps his hand on Jeongguk, but he moves it down and slips his fingers around his bicep to hold onto him instead. He doesn’t think, care , how it looks. He just wants the muscle over Jeongguk’s jaw to relax. 

“I don’t believe I’ve gotten that gene,” Taehyung says lowly. There’s a twitch in his upper lip, but he keeps the snarl at bay when he turns his gaze to Jin instead. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Taehyung can see Jeongguk’s own mouth twitch as soon as the words leave his mouth, but it’s far more amused than Taehyung could possibly feel right now.

“Oh, I am sure you did,” Jin says offhandedly, seemingly unaware that Taehyung’s wolf is rising inside of him. “I asked Jeongguk here to come to your father’s building with me some time. We could use more pack representation. Alpha Kim listens, but it’s the greater all he hears the most. If he sees more wolves -“

“And what is it that you’re trying to accomplish?” Taehyung asks, genuinely, because he’s curious and because he feels like he’s missed something. But his tone is cutting, he knows, because Jeongguk’s grin grows a little larger. “Namjoon implied you harass my father’s assistants, but he didn’t say what for.”

Jeongguk opens Taehyung’s container for him unnecessarily. Or maybe it is necessary because he’s forgotten about the food until then. He gives Taehyung a pointed look before he moves away, but he doesn’t go far for long.

“I am persistent,” Jin admits with a grin, “But I don’t harass them. Like I said, we need more pack representation and every desk worker in your father’s office is a part of his work program. This applies to them. Over half of the wolves enrolled in your father’s program have had to leave their packs. Whether they’ve chosen to themselves or they’ve been forced to. Though, honestly, there aren’t many differences between ‘chosen’ and ‘forced’ for some wolves.”

Passion shines through Jin’s voice and face though Taehyung doesn’t know what it is he is trying to do. It still lingers even when Jeongguk returns and interrupts to offer Jin part of the meal he bought for himself. Jeongguk’s hands move jerkily over the bowls, and it’s unlike him. Taehyung wants to reach over and grab one of those hands and hold them between his own. 

“We’re pushing for restrictions when it comes to the exile of wolves from their packs,” Jin explains, his eyes on Jeongguk’s hands as well. “There are none in place by law, only tradition, and it is to the discretion of each pack alpha. Wolves of any age are being torn away from their homes over nothing . These alphas demand loyalty, but they aren’t returning it to the people they demand it from.”

Silence follows. Jin’s words are loaded with frustration, suddenly, and he seems to realize it as he presses a hand to his mouth and gives Taehyung an apologetic look. While Taehyung had been surprised by how quickly Jin became worked up, he isn’t offended as Jin may presume. He’s more concerned that the windows are shut and no one is outside the front door. A habit of his own he’s learned from his years hiding from the elder wolves who would find him disloyal, a traitor, just for expressing opinions.  

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to argue my way into you joining me.” Jin laughs awkwardly, eyes closing when he grimaces. “A learned habit, I suppose. But that’s what I’m doing there, and I think it’d be good for you to come. You have been affected by this cruel ban, after all.”

Taehyung’s wolf stands at the ready once again. Not even he has broached the subject of Jeongguk’s mother with Jeongguk. Not when they were best friends or now. He doesn’t like that Jin does so easily, but Jeongguk doesn’t react. His tense jaw doesn’t return, and when he speaks, his voice is steady and void of anything. 

“That’s my mother’s story that I barely know,” Jeongguk replies. “And it has benefitted me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jin says softly. Taehyung’s attention darts between the two, wondering how Jeongguk sees it as a benefit when he would have been in this position either way, just under a different alpha, and what the hell Jin means . “And I was simply hoping you’d think about it. I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t be beneficial to those in the movement to have you on our side, but I do give you my word that that isn’t the reason I’ve offered.”

Taehyung expects this conversation to turn to him. As it’s his father that Jin is looking to sway, and it will be him one day in that same spot, having the control to make such a change. But Jin doesn’t, he only takes a bite and offers Jeongguk his thanks.

“You’ll have a hard time doing that,” Taehyung murmurs as he shifts away from the counter so Jeongguk can place his bowl there instead. “Support is what my father needs to remain in position, and he’ll lose a lot of it.”

He doesn’t mention that if there were a revolt against him, it’d end in death. He just hopes Jin hears the words not spoken because Taehyung only cares about the title because with support and loyalty comes protection, not the title itself over his father’s life. 

There’s a glint in Jin’s eyes as he waves a chopstick at Taehyung. “He’ll gain just as much as he loses, if not more. He just needs to see that that support is there, and the wolves need the encouragement and strength to voice it so he can . And by the way, don’t say anything to Jimin. He told me not to start on this so soon, but I caught Jeongguk in the hall. I definitely wasn’t waiting for him. Absolutely not.”

There’s still amusement on his face despite him admitting to going against an order from his alpha, but Taehyung doesn’t know them well enough to know if it’s even a slight or not. He thinks about himself and Seokmin, how things Seokmin does doesn't bother him though it could enrage another alpha. Be seen as disobedience, disloyalty, or just plain improper.

Jeongguk studies Jin, and Taehyung wonders if he’s thinking the same until he says, “And how does this affect you personally? As passionate as you are about this, aren’t you afraid people may think you’re up to something that could get you banned from your own pack?”

Taehyung nearly chokes on his next bite. Jeongguk speaks curiously, but he knows him well enough to catch something more like an accusation in his town. It’s quite bold of Jeongguk to speak like that. Taehyung’s never seen it before. With everyone except himself, Jeongguk is kind, gentle spoken, polite, careful . Everything a good, obedient wolf is. 

Maybe Jeongguk is more uncomfortable and irritated than Taehyung realized. 

However, the glint in Jin’s eyes only grows. “The only things I can be exiled for are things I believe wolves should be exiled for. Cruel, malicious things I would never do. I cannot be banned from my pack, and I believe because of that, I can use my voice and hopefully give strength to those who can’t so easily.”

Taehyung has never seen another wolf so certain of such a fact. Even as the future alpha of his own pack, he’s never been as certain as Jin comes off. The only thing he can be banned for is something that most alphas never think of doing but Taehyung has more times than he could ever admit out loud. 

It’s admirable, really. He just wishes Jeongguk’s muscles would relax so his wolf will let up and let him actually appreciate the wolf before him.

“If you aren't interested, I understand. I won’t pester you about it,” Jin says as he places his bowl down and steps away. “However, when it comes to Jimin’s social gatherings, I will insist. Alpha’s orders.” Jin clicks his fingers and wiggles one at them. “Thank you for the food, Jeongguk-ssi. Alpha Kim.”

He bows with an arm sweeping beneath his body. His departure seems a bit sudden, but understanding fills Taehyung when Jin opens the door to exit and lets in Jimin’s scolding tone as well.

“Kim Seokjin! You better not be recruiting them! It’s not even noon yet!”

Taehyung stifles a laugh, one he shares with Jeongguk as their eyes meet. Jeongguk twists so they’re both facing each other with their bowls on the counter, the silence returning but it doesn’t feel as awkward as it had this morning. It can’t really, as Jin’s words replay over in his head. 

And it may be silent between Jeongguk and him but he can hear the same kind of thoughts running through Jeongguk’s mind too.

“I don’t believe Jin was speaking against alphas ,” Jeongguk murmurs after they’ve finished, following behind Taehyung to deposit their bowls into the sink. “I mean -”

There’s a nervous edge to Jeongguk’s voice then. Taehyung places Jin’s bowl down before he covers Jeongguk’s hands around the one he holds. “I know. He needs to be careful though. There will be a lot of people who won’t like what he’s trying to do, and if he’s that confident in his own alphas, it could lead to violence we haven’t had in a long time. He’s a second. He represents a pack. He needs to be more careful.”

Taehyung doesn’t want to let Jeongguk’s hands go, but he does when he realizes he’s holding them for too long. He slips them around the bowl instead and gives Jeongguk his back.

He hadn’t planned on doing the dishes right away, but he finds himself doing so because he constantly needs his hands to be busy. Jeongguk pushes up beside him, grabbing for the soap as soon as Taehyung turns on the water.

“I’m not going to accept his invitation to go,” Jeongguk murmurs. “So, don’t worry -”

Taehyung stops what he’s doing, his hands beneath the water as he turns to Jeongguk and sees the worry on his face. “If you believe in what he’s saying, and you want to, you should. Like he said, you cannot be banned. You can use your voice in a way others cannot.”

He knows Jeongguk doesn’t believe that, so he uses the opportunity once again to assure him. He can only guess at what Jin meant when he said the only things he could do to get exiled are things he believes one should be exiled for, but Taehyung still doesn’t know if anything would be enough for him to ban Jeongguk.

It’s Jeongguk. If he hurt someone, viciously, there’d be a reason for it. If he betrayed Taehyung, well, Taehyung deserves it. But he wouldn’t do either of those things. Taehyung knows it in his bones.

“Because he’s not wrong,” Taehyung starts gently. “The reason you don’t believe me right now is because you - you’ve done things that if you allowed to go on as you aged, you could have gotten exiled. And it would have been unfair and cruel of my father to do that to you because it doesn't make sense that it’s considered disloyal.”

It never has. It never has made sense, yet it’s been so widely accepted for generations despite that, and that’s one of the things Taehyung has always hated about it most. 

Jeongguk’s eyes snap to him. Taehyung’s heart races in his chest because they especially never talk about this. It wasn’t until recently that Taehyung really let himself think about Jeongguk’s side of things, but his wolf is still howling inside of him to ease Jeongguk, to assure him. 

He can get the words out, he whispers to himself, if it gets Jeongguk to calm. To feel safe, secure. 

“But now, I don’t think he would,” Taehyung says, turning back to the sink because Jeongguk’s eyes are intense and it’s hard to look at him. “He would just advise you against it. From speaking about it. But you would have to do something awful, cruel, for him to turn his back on you.”

Taehyung doesn’t actually know. His heart hammers in his chest just at the mere idea of it. That they’re even touching on the topic because even though it’s been years, neither one of them have acknowledged out loud that there was more between them then. That they’ve kissed, marked, and scented each other because of feelings more than friendship.

“Because - because most wolves wouldn’t take in an exiled second, but my father did. He just kept what your mother did quiet, to protect her. You. I found out why your mother was exiled accidentally, and my father was his scariest when he told me not to speak a word about it because - because how the others will look at her. Look at you.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything at first. Taehyung scrubs furiously at a bowl to help himself speak, to keep his voice level. Soap covers his hands and the bottom of the sink, but he keeps scrubbing until Jeongguk finally moves forward and takes it away from him. 

“It’s not the same, Taehyung,” Jeongguk says, so quietly that Taehyung strains his ears over the running water. 

They’re pressed together because as Jeongguk moves to rinse the bowl, Taehyung doesn’t move at all. He stands in Jeongguk’s way, lets his body press up against him and even turns to look at him. 

“It is, or - or it was , I mean.”

What did you mean? What did you mean?

Jeongguk glances at him, his chin tilting slightly. “You should wear gloves when you do the dishes. They’re in the cabinet there.”

He isn’t wearing any as he shakes the bowl and places it on the rack beside the sink. He wipes his own hand and presses his front into Taehyung’s. His hand is hot from the water as he squeezes Taehyung’s hip. 

“Your father is a good man, Taehyung. But like Jin said, his concern is for the greater all. He may have to make choices he doesn’t agree with personally if enough of his - our - pack calls for it.”

Taehyung shakes his head before Jeongguk’s finished speaking, though Jeongguk is right. They keep Jeongguk’s mothers past a secret from the others for her safety because support, loyalty, and trust are important for every member of the pack. It’s why his father is so firm and threatening when it comes to Seokmin. Why Taehyung is.

Jeongguk is right, but Taehyung wants to tell him he’ll be a shitty fucking alpha because he’d rip everyone’s heads off if they spoke out against Jeongguk.

“That’s what I meant when I said we can’t be friends,” Jeongguk says as he leans in, his breath tickling over Taehyung’s ear. Taehyung’s slightly glad that Jeongguk hides his face when he speaks because he doesn’t think he could handle looking at him. His heart is already stopping in his chest, and he can’t breathe even though that isn’t what he meant what he asked. He knew that. “If I screw up and the pack calls for my death or my banishment, you’ll have to listen. And I always screw up when it comes to you.”

Argument rises inside of Taehyung. It pounds through him, aggravates him, but Jeongguk presses a thumb to his mouth like he can sense what’s going to spill out of it.

“Don’t, please,” Jeongguk whispers, or Taehyung thinks he does because he can barely hear him. It comes out like a breath that Taehyung can feel more than hear. “It is how it is, Taehyung.” 

Fuck that , Taehyung almost spits, even though Jeongguk is right. He still wants to scream it and push Jeongguk because even though it’s these things that have pissed him off, they’ve both always geared that anger towards each other instead.

But he doesn’t get to say anything at all as there’s a tentative knock on their door. Jeongguk keeps his gaze for a moment before he goes to it, and Taehyung whips around to start furiously scrubbing the second bowl.

It’s Jimin, apologizing, but Taehyung is forced to tune them out from how hard his heart beats into his eardrums. 

“I won’t return for a few days, but you will be fine without me, yes?”

“Don’t worry. It’s probably for the best. I was quite embarrassed when Park Jimin told me you said I had a hard time making friends.”

Taehyung’s fathers groan comes out muffled through the phone. “I didn’t say that . I explained to him that you are bit…on edge around new wolves. Especially when Jeongguk’s around.”

Taehyung pulls his knees up to his chest and attempts to bury himself into his bedroom wall. That was a long time ago, his parents haven’t noticed the change between them. Which they didn’t want them to, but still . 

“It’s fine, Appa. Jimin’s nice. I met his mate and second.” 

“Yes. Good men as well. Jimin put up quite the fight to bring Namjoon along. Didn’t even give me a chance to reply after his request before he started going on. And that Seokjin - he’d be a good friend to have, son. When it comes to history and politics, he’s well learned. And boy, is he persuasive. There are times I feel like a man who has never strung two words together when I speak to him.”

Taehyung squeezes his legs, pondering his reply. Since speaking to Jin, he’s had many questions, and when his phone rang with his father’s incoming call, it felt as if he had sensed it.

“Jeongguk would have been Jimin’s second, wouldn’t he?”

His father hesitates. “Yes, yes. But do not -”

If his father is going to say ‘worry,’ Taehyung would laugh. He interrupts him before he can finish his sentence.

“I don’t think Jeongguk knew his mother left family behind. He was quite surprised to meet Jin.”

Or at least, Taehyung is pretty sure he was. 

“I suppose not. Wolves aren’t supposed to communicate with those that have been kicked out from the pack. And it is understandable if Jeongguk’s mother chose not to speak about them in return. It brought her quite a lot of pain being kicked out of her home.” 

Taehyung spreads his legs, listening for Jeongguk, but he’s been exceptionally quiet since Taehyung left the kitchen to hide away in his room. He hopes that means he’s napping. The bags beneath his eyes are dark today. 

“Why did you take her in?”

It worries him for a moment that he sounds accusing, or anything but curious. He is curious because so often are packs unwilling to take in an exiled wolf. They can’t be trusted. He’s never asked his father his thoughts on it, never thought it to be his place. But he wants to know, wants to hear it from his father’s mouth. 

And that worry grows because his father doesn’t respond or make a noise or acknowledgment. He stays so quiet that Taehyung can almost hear the sound of his mother’s singing in the background.

“Because she needed shelter, and food,” his father finally says. “She was injured. And I am Alpha to all. Those exiled and not.”

Taehyung nods along, though his father cannot see. “Jin told me about his campaign. He’s trying to get Jeongguk to join.”

His father laughs quietly. “Not surprised. It could be good for Jeongguk to do so, if he is interested. Not many wolves have the ability to speak on a topic like Jeongguk and Seokjin do. Could be encouraging to those who are too afraid to speak.”

Maybe Taehyung was wrong about how hard it would be for Jin to convince his father. He did believe what he said to Jeongguk, that his father wouldn’t exile him for what they’ve done. Or if any of those feelings still exist within Jeongguk, but Jeongguk was right when he said his father has to put his pack first.

But he’s also conflicted because his father is a good man, and since Taehyung’s been hiding in his room, he’s thought how his father may put his pack first, but he might not if he truly doesn’t believe what they’re asking for is right.

And at the same time, if the pack revolts against him, it means death. It would put a stigma on Taehyung too. On his mother.

Taehyung doesn’t know what his father would do. 

“If he is, encourage him, Taehyung-ah. Jeongguk isn’t secure within the pack. Most of my conversation with Jongyul yesterday was assuring him that I will protect Jeongguk as if he is my own son. Didn’t calm his fear, and you know how a fearful wolf acts.”

At that, Taehyung shifts up a little straighter. “Did he -”

“No, no,” his father cuts off quickly. “He pushed me back, but his claws were out. As soon as he realized it, he ran off. He only scraped me, but I’m sure the hint of blood was terrifying to him. It’s why I am not returning to the city yet. I am waiting for him to return.”

Taehyung wants to flop face forward onto his bed. That isn’t good, and he already plans to keep it from Jeongguk when his father instructs him to do the same.

“Their fear is not without reason, Taehyung. People react. It is within our nature both as wolf and human, but after your grandfather’s death, the pack was calling for more than Jeon’s death. It’s all I dealt with for weeks, the pack coming up a newly forced Alpha, begging me to reconsider my second. To not trust him. I had to break up fights because the wolves were angry, they had lost their Alpha, and their only outlet was Jongyul. Even the tiniest of scowls on his face when we spoke was enough for people not to trust him. To see him as a threat.”

Taehyung’s eyes stray towards the door frame, his feet twitching with the want to get up and join Jeongguk. Or at least, just look at his face and assure he is sleeping. He doesn’t quite understand why he craves it so badly, but he’s given up trying to question himself or his wolf. 

“This was around the same time your mother came to me, and Jongyul saw the difference. Your mother’s claws were always extended, but she wasn’t seen as a threat. She was seen as a wolf in a new territory, trying to adjust. The only concern there was how ghastly those claws were.”

His father breaks out into a laugh as his mother’s muffled singing turns into muffled scolding. It brings a smile to Taehyung’s face that pairs with the familiar ache in his chest from missing home.

“I must make amends now. Take care, son. I love you.”

As soon as Taehyung hangs up, he forces himself to stop hiding in his room. He has been for a few hours now, not wanting to create any more tension between him and Jeongguk.

When he makes his appearance again, he discovers why Jeongguk is so quiet. He isn’t sleeping, though Taehyung thinks he is at first when he finds him laying on the floor with his face towards the ceiling.

It isn’t night nor are their stars in the apartment, but Taehyung is reminded of the many times he went out looking for him and found him like this. It flashes in his mind, the younger version of themselves. Jeongguk always knew he was coming, didn’t flinch when Taehyung approached and settled beside him. Even if he weren’t a wolf, Taehyung thinks Jeongguk would still have known he was coming.

It hurts him to think about the first nights beneath the stars after they fell out. He wonders if Jeongguk unconsciously waited for him the way Taehyung had so many times. He wouldn’t realize that’s what he was doing until the night grew late and his mother called him home and the first thing he did when he returned was to see where Jeongguk was, if he was alright. 

Shoving that thought out of his mind, Taehyung slowly lowers himself to the ground. He leaves a small space between them as he mimics Jeongguk’s position. 

“Everything okay back home?”

“Yeah. My father was just calling to say he won’t be returning yet.”

Jeongguk nods. Taehyung can feel it. He can feel every inch of him really, even if they aren’t touching. His fingers twitch with the want to wrap around his wrist or press against whatever part of Jeongguk is closest.

They can’t blame it on the late night or being tired because in his avoidance, Taehyung took a nap that made him feel more awake and the sun is shining into the room they’re in. 

“Because of my father.” 

Taehyung doesn’t say anything. He expected the question but he still didn’t prepare a response. 

“They are bonded,” Jeongguk says simply, turning away from the ceiling to look at Taehyung instead. “Your father won’t leave until he’s calmed down.” 

He says it like he knows what happened, and maybe he does. Or can guess. Jeongguk probably knows his father better than any of them do. He thinks they are a lot a like, like his grandfather, which is why Taehyung doesn’t want to tell him what happened. Jeongguk has drawn his claws at him out of anger and fear, but that’s all it was. A reaction.

A reaction that could get a wolf exiled, even if it’s in their nature. 

“And my father won’t leave. He’s more loyal to him than anyone. Like a second should be.”

For the first time, Taehyung takes that in and lets himself wonder how he feels about it. He never really has before, and maybe that’s because his second is Jeongguk, and he hasn’t ever questioned how his father’s loyalty is pack first because that’s how he ought to be.

But what Jin had said earlier sits with him. Where’s the loyalty in return? He believes his father shows that, but other alphas? Taehyung has heard the stories of wolves being banned, exiled, for reasons that seemed wrong but even he didn’t question them fully. Not the way Jin has because that’s just how things are. 

Changing things never occurred to him because it feels impossible more often than not, but Jin had worded it like it isn’t. The passion in his voice, his clear frustration when Yoongi spoke about not talking about things they couldn’t change. He looked ready to argue, and Taehyung didn’t understand at the time what they meant.

He thinks he does now. 

Taehyung turns to face Jeongguk. “What does loyalty even mean?”

Jeongguk’s lips twitch. “I think it was you forgetting you were mad at me when I was talking to Jin earlier.”

Warmth creeps over Taehyung’s face. “I’m - I’m not mad at you.”

At myself, at circumstance, maybe. 

“And I could tell you were really uncomfortable.”

Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip, his eyes moving over every inch of Taehyung’s face. “Yeah. Even if I agree with everything he says, it feels wrong. Like - like just thinking about it is wrong.”

Taehyung wants to reach out again. “I know. My father kind of apologized for this the night before we left. He told me I’ll have opinions that differ from what I’ve been taught, and that I can still express them. I think that extends to you, as well. He sees you like a son, he just said.”

A soft look crosses Jeongguk’s face. He chews so much at his bottom lip that Taehyung worries for it and wishes to touch his mouth to get him to stop. His eyes never leave Taehyung, and Taehyung wonders where his mind is. What’s going through it, what he will say next. 

“He told me that too. That I could tell him anything,” Jeongguk finally says. “But saying that doesn’t make it any easier to do, right? And it might not be true even if the person saying it truly means it.”

Taehyung nods without making the decision to. A pang goes through his chest because that’s exactly what he thought when his father said that. He wanted to challenge him to see how true it was, and that challenge was laced with doubt. A doubt that won’t go away from how firmly it was nailed into them. 

“I didn’t want anyone to know anyway, you know?” Jeongguk murmurs as he turns and faces the ceiling again. Taehyung doesn’t look away from him. “About me not wanting to mate. It’s why I said I didn’t care before, because I didn’t want anyone to know so it was going to happen. Answering what I was interested in for a mate was pointless.”

Taehyung sucks in a slow breath. His mother said Jeongguk didn’t want to mate with a woman, not mate at all . 

A storm goes through Taehyung, and he isn’t quite sure how to identify any of the pieces that make it up.

“But hearing my father was bribing people really pissed me off. When I called him out on it, he told me he had to. Because I wasn’t a trustworthy wolf.” Taehyung can’t see, but he can hear it in Jeongguk’s voice that he’s rolling his eyes. “Then he shamed me for being disloyal to you. I don’t even remember his reasoning for that, something about pups, because that’s when I shifted. I didn’t hear anything he said. It was just noise.”

Taehyung holds his breath, his heart rattling in his chest. He’d be more than happy to lay Jongyul out flat. What the hell does he know?

Jeongguk doesn’t want to mate. With anyone else.

It’s the loudest thought in his mind, and it’s selfish. He needs to push it aside because it isn’t the important thing here, but Taehyung can’t. No matter how hard he tries. 

“I didn’t want to tell your mother it either, but she has a way of coaxing things out, you know? She was kinder, more understanding, and her advice wasn’t dismissive of my feelings but in consideration of them too. She still pissed me off, though, because she was right. And that made me pissed at you and pissed at myself because you didn’t do anything, but it didn’t change how angry I felt, acted, towards you.”

Taehyung’s breathing picks up but he doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He doesn’t want to interrupt Jeongguk even though he also wants to hold a hand over his mouth and force him to be quiet.

They don’t talk. They imply things and mention things without saying anything at all. They avoid, and Taehyung wants to do that, but his wolf is louder.

He can hear it in Jeongguk’s voice. There’s a knot in his chest that’s unraveling with each word, and Taehyung can’t interrupt him.

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m going to say it anyway. We can’t be friends because we cannot ,” Jeongguk repeats, harsher than he’s said before, but he directs it towards the ceiling. “I don’t want to be. I can’t be. That day was nice, it did feel like before. But I hated it because I have spent years pushing everything down because we can’t be friends, we can’t be mates, but I will be your second. And I won’t compromise that, nor your position. I won’t give a single member of the pack reason to distrust you because growing up and being so afraid that the smallest thing could have the pack distrusting me fucking sucked. But pushing it down has done nothing, and that day made it clear to me that I can’t do it.”

Taehyung can’t breathe. His fingers curl beneath his head, digging into the cold ground. Can’t be mates. It plays over in his head like it used to when they were younger. Every time they would kiss and part, the song would start playing. Sometimes, he could feel the words in Jeongguk’s hands when he pushed him away. He could feel it running through his arms when he pushed Jeongguk back. 

“You can do it,” Taehyung whispers, though he’s still not quite sure what Jeongguk means. If it’s being his second, he can because he has to be. 

Jeongguk turns to him then, his expression unreadable until the corner of his mouth twitches. The grin just doesn’t reach his tired eyes. “I will kill whoever you mate with, even if I don’t mean to.”

Taehyung’s heart bangs hard against his chest. He blinks, though unable to look away from Jeongguk. He says it so softly, but Taehyung can feel that he means it. He just doesn’t know what to do with that because he won’t tell Jeongguk that he’s so relieved that he doesn’t want to mate with anyone because he abhors the idea of Jeongguk with anyone. “I don’t think you’re as violent as you think you are. You’ve been told who you are so often that you believe it, but Jeongguk -”

“I’ve felt it with Seokmin,” Jeongguk whispers, shame washing over his face. “I actually did think you two were going to mate, and I felt it rise inside of me every time you two were together. I fought it because Seokmin is pack, and my friend, but you scent him so strongly, I couldn’t be near him.”

Carefully, Taehyung reaches out and grabs Jeongguk’s hand. He tugs until Jeongguk is on his side too, facing him, and he doesn’t let go. He holds his fist between them because his claws are out. They’re both breathing heavily, their pants filling the small space between them, and Taehyung still doesn’t know what to say but Jeongguk looks so apologetic that Taehyung forces himself to clear his head of the exclamation marks and say something . 

“Why are you telling me this?”

Taehyung avoids because conversations make things harder . Acknowledging it makes it harder . 

“We don’t talk about it, pretend it isn’t there. When you asked me what I meant with that look on your face, I realized that maybe you do what I do. You listen and wonder and wonder and wonder.” Jeongguk’s fist tightens beneath Taehyung’s palm. “And I don’t know how to navigate being your second when I can’t push it all down, but I figured putting it out there will help. Half of our actual arguments are biting words that tiptoe around a subject we won’t talk about. But we need to talk about it because I don’t want to end up like my grandfather. Your father says to speak about things to keep them from bursting you because that’s what happened to him, but I can’t speak about this to him. It’ll do nothing but push me towards bursting a little faster.”

Taehyung pushes up. He can’t help it, even if he’s still reeling over Jeongguk’s words. His anger sprouts up inside of him because Jeongguk isn’t like his grandfather, he hates that that’s been placed on him from such a young age. And that it still is a burden on him because Taehyung thinks it keeps Jeongguk from seeing just how much the pack loves him. 

But Jeongguk holds the hand Taehyung has around him and yanks him back down, stopping him from speaking as a gasp leaves his mouth instead. He has to whip a hand out not to fall forward as Jeongguk rolls onto his back and presses their clasped hands to his chest. 

“I want you to trust me. I want you to know when I battle between anger and fear and pushing things down, I don’t mean to be confusing. I want you to know what I mean when I accidentally say things like not wanting to be your second.” 

Taehyung asked Jeongguk what he meant the night before because it was digging at him. He wanted to know if Jeongguk meant it the way Taehyung felt it. 

But then he changed his mind. He can’t hear it. He wants to snarl at Jeongguk to shut up, even if he already knows somewhere deep down what Jeongguk is going to say. He opened this up, created a path for Jeongguk to walk down and start talking because Taehyung couldn’t shut up himself and stop creating conversations he didn’t want to have. 

“It used to whisper in my head. Could never quiet my wolf around you,” Jeongguk whispers, his eyes wide and still so sorry. He doesn’t seem to realize his claws have started to dig into Taehyung’s skin, but Taehyung barely cares about the damage. He just hates the look on Jeongguk’s face. “‘ Taehyung, mine, Alpha. ’”

He growls it, his upper lip curling as those claws dig in a little further, but he doesn’t move. He remains beneath Taehyung, the fear flashing across his eyes before he closes them and breathes in slowly through his nose.

When he opens them again, the fear isn’t gone from them but there’s a stubborn look on his face like he’s fighting it.

“And that hasn’t changed. It hasn’t quieted. My wolf sees you as mine, and that’s why I don’t want to be your second. Because that means you can’t be. But I still -”

Despite the claws in his hands and the strength Jeongguk uses to hold onto him, Taehyung pushes away. Panic rises inside of Taehyung, causing his head to shake. Jeongguk comes with him, still trying to hold on, but a snarl rips from Taehyung as he tears his hands free.

“Stop. Stop speaking,” Taehyung growls, backing away from Jeongguk. “We don’t talk about it for a reason , Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk glares at him, moving closer even when Taehyung moves back. “Well we need to.”

Taehyung shakes his head, jumping to his feet. He steps around, unsure where to go. He just needs to move, to breathe. His hands shake and Jeongguk broke skin, but he doesn’t care. He buries them against his chest and tries to just get away from this room and the words that still linger in the air.

“We can’t,” Taehyung argues. “We don’t need to. It - it makes it harder.” 

Carefully, Jeongguk steps with him. He’s breathing hard, his face is hard, and Taehyung wants to yell at him and push him and get him back beneath him to bite into his neck until the mark on his throat becomes permanent. He too wants to call Jeongguk mine and breathe it into his skin and claim every inch of him. 

“Taehyung -”

“What does it do?” Taehyung snaps. He hits his own chest, feeling his own claws break out. It’s like before, when they fought, but this time, it’s Taehyung’s fangs extending. “Talking about it when we can’t do anything about it. Isn’t it enough that the fucking mark on your throat hasn’t faded yet? Why -”

Jeongguk grabs onto his hands. Taehyung doesn’t expect him to suddenly be there, breathing hard against his face. He holds on tight, stretching their arms out so Taehyung can’t push him away.

And he doesn’t want to. He grits his teeth as he breathes Jeongguk in, his heart pounding. It’s so fucking hard, he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore.

“Fine, fine. We won’t talk about it. Calm down,” Jeongguk whispers. He nuzzles against his cheek, probably trying to do just that, but it makes it worse. Maybe they should talk about it because Jeongguk makes this so fucking hard on him and he probably doesn’t realize how much so, but Taehyung doesn’t want to . “Not yet. Just - you can’t shift in here.”

Taehyung breathes hard, pressing his face into the side of Jeongguk’s. It’s easier hiding from Jeongguk’s eyes, but it isn’t easy at all. There’s been an open wound in Taehyung’s chest for so many years that he’s failed at mending, but Jeongguk just tore it open further. “Talking doesn’t do anything. I already claimed you as mine without meaning to. Knowing you’d be willing to take it only makes it harder to fight, Jeongguk.”

It’s a new song he can’t have. He won’t be able to take it, hearing Jeongguk’s voice on replay in his mind... Taehyung, mine, Alpha - 

A spark runs down his spine, his fingers curling in an attempt to grab onto Jeongguk even though he has his hands pinned so he can’t. 

Jeongguk’s breath hitches, and as if proving his point, his head tilts slightly when Taehyung bares his teeth against his jaw. He can feel Jeongguk’s heart pounding against his own, and he wants to feel it beneath his mouth. 

“I would,” Jeongguk admits quietly. “I wouldn’t be able to help it. I would bear my neck for you and let you take whatever you wanted. I just need you to know so you never doubt me. Never doubt me, please. Even if I struggle being just your second, don’t. Because I’m -”

Yours, yours, yours.

He hears it in his head, in the slight movement of Jeongguk’s head as his teeth press into Jeongguk’s jaw. Taehyung wants to bite him so badly, he aches for it, but he shoves Jeongguk when he presses his mouth against his skin. He growls with it, anger pouring out of his mouth.

Jeongguk doesn’t cling on tightly like Taehyung worries he will. He lets go, steps back. Taehyung can’t look at him.

“I have to go,” Taehyung breathes hard. His father used to warn him that there will be times he’d have to fight his own wolf, that it will push itself to the forefront and try to take over in times it shouldn’t. Taehyung feels that way now, though he’s grown more in control than when he was younger and it’s only his fangs and claws that manage to force through. “I have to get out of here.”

Alarm fills Jeongguk’s face. He steps forward, hand out, but he doesn’t grab onto Taehyung again. 

“I need air to calm down,” Taehyung explains roughly. “I can’t - now.”

He doesn’t look at Jeongguk because then he won’t leave. He’ll give in because he can feel Jeongguk, can feel his hurt, his fear. The words whisper in his mind like a calling, a tug. I’ll bear my neck for you -

Taehyung moves in a panic, nearly tripping as he grabs his shoes. He doesn’t put them on as he yanks open the door and flies out of it. 

The best place for Taehyung to breathe would be outside, maybe the park they walked by when they first came here and explored a bit. He could climb a tree and actually feel alone, or stick his feet into the pond that isn’t anything like his river, but he could pretend it is enough to satiate himself.

But he cannot get himself to calm down. He can’t get his fangs to retract. The hair has started to sprout at his neck, and he can’t go outside like this. So Taehyung goes to his father’s apartment because it’s empty and he hopes it smells like home.

His fingers shake as he types in the code to the door. He worries Jeongguk will follow him or someone from the Busan pack had heard and will come looking. He doesn’t think he had actually been yelling, but it feels like he was. Screaming at Jeongguk to stop.

It’s dark in the apartment, and it doesn’t smell like home like he had expected it to. It doesn’t smell like his father either, but Taehyung should have expected that. His father has been with the pack longer than he usually is at one time.

Taehyung doesn’t turn on the lights after he closes the door and removes his shoes. He moves through the apartment until he’s gotten to the room he uses whenever he comes into the city with his father.

It always smells like different wolves. Taehyung knows that’s because his father gives wolves a place to stay when they first arrive in the city, or just when they need it. He knows, he’s just never really thought about why they’d need to. 

He wonders how many wolves he has taken into his program that have admitted to being a second that wanted more from their alpha. Or vice versa. Taehyung wonders what he said to them. He wonders if his father has ever taken in a wolf that he thought should have been exiled. One that he judged, shamed, even if just quietly to himself. 

Taehyung sinks in front of the bed he used to sleep in and presses his face to the edge of the mattress.

It smells like Yoongi. 

It’s not a comforting scent. Another alpha, still somewhat a stranger. Taehyung twists his face around and rubs into the blanket, but he’s so frustrated with himself that not even his own scent is comforting right now.

His wolf calls for Jeongguk, and Taehyung sighs. He sits against the bed and brings his shirt up to his knees to bury his face into it because Jeongguk had pressed so hard against him that his scent lingers there.

Taehyung wishes he didn’t say anything.

The conversation plays over in his head as he tries to understand how it unfolded. He wasn’t expecting it to come out of Jeongguk, not now, but maybe that’s his way of bursting.

Taehyung does it often enough. Keeping things inside so much that they come out suddenly or randomly or when he least expects it. It’s how he so often starts conversations he doesn’t want to have. 

He’s given Jeongguk reason to think he doubts him.

Everyone has.

Taehyung so badly wants to return and comfort him because he got so angry and started to shift that surely those thoughts are back in Jeongguk’s head. At least, they’d be in his own. 

When he was younger, he snapped at his mother. He didn’t have much control then, and he had growled at her with his fangs out. She had walked away, left the house. To allow him to calm down, he knows now, but at the time, he had been terrified. His father barely started to scold him before Taehyung started sobbing, falling to his knees in apology. 

She came back and touched his face so gently and it was okay. Taehyung apologized and it was okay, but he can’t do that now. He can’t go back to the apartment and touch Jeongguk’s face and it be okay.

He wishes Jeongguk didn’t say anything because he can’t avoid this. Every time they bicker or accidentally say things, they both put it behind them like it never happened.

They can’t do that now. Jeongguk said he doesn’t want to mate anyone else, that he’d kill anyone who mated with Taehyung even if he didn’t mean to.

He said they can’t be mates but admitted he’d bear his neck and let Taehyung do as he pleases.

If he did, Taehyung would. He knows it because he craves it. Every part of him. 

But he didn’t say that, not really. Jeongguk admitted to something he is afraid of ever saying out loud, and Taehyung raged. Then he left. He shouldn’t have left.

He had to leave. 

He doesn’t know how to go back.

He needs to.

Taehyung whips his head away from his shirt, letting his head fall back as he sobs out a quiet, “What the fuck.”

He goes back. It’s late when he anxiously opens the front door. More than ever he wishes Jeongguk had a bedroom so he’d have a few more seconds away from him, to collect himself. Or try to, since he’s been gone for a few hours and hasn’t yet accomplished that.

The television is on, but Jeongguk isn’t in the living room. It takes Taehyung a second to catch the smell of spices, the sound of something sizzling. He’s been given his moment to collect himself, but he can’t. He just breathes in, and ignores his want to hide away in his room. 

Jeongguk has his back to him in the kitchen. He moves from side to side where he has food sizzling on the burner and uncooked food on the counter waiting. He has plates sitting on the divider, two of them.

Taehyung stares at the back of him. He’s changed his clothing. He has a turtleneck on, a soft purple one that Taehyung loves but wants to shred to pieces because it hides the mark on Jeongguk’s neck. 

“I don’t doubt you.”

He spent the last few hours trying to figure out what to say, but he didn’t come up with much. That’s the most important, at least. He wants Jeongguk to feel secure, though he can’t quite tell him that he’d snap the neck of any wolf in his pack that stood against him.

Or maybe he could, at this point. He just shouldn’t be admitting that at all either way.

“And no one should for…this.” Taehyung is glad Jeongguk has his back to him when he grimaces and rubs at his face in frustration. “But you’re right. They will. That’s why we can’t talk about it.” 

His heart thrums in his chest as Jeongguk turns to him, his face guarded. He gets close because he can’t help it and touches Jeongguk’s face with the tips of his fingers. 

“Because it makes it harder than it already is to ignore.” He slips his fingers down Jeongguk’s jaw, to the start of his turtleneck. His body thrums next when Jeongguk’s head tilts slightly before he pulls the cloth down to reveal the mark that still hasn’t started to fade. “This will fade, but it’s taking longer because I messed up. I wanted to claim you as mine, and I did without meaning to. If you keep talking about these things, the next time will be permanent.”

There’s a twitch in Jeongguk’s mouth, a slight shift in that guarded expression, but he doesn’t speak or move. Taehyung’s body craves for him to, but he’s trying to make a point.

“I know it will be,” Taehyung whispers, wounded and embarrassed as he shifts the clothing back over the mark. “If we keep doing this, it’ll happen. If we’re both willing to bear our necks, surely, one day we will.”

He steps back though he doesn’t want to. Jeongguk’s fingers twitch, and Taehyung wonders if he is thinking the same thing as him. About closing the space because Taehyung knows Jeongguk isn’t going to expect what he says next.

“I think you should mate,” Taehyung forces out. He pauses, breathing in to keep his voice steady. “It’ll be easier once you’ve given your wolf over to someone else. When I do the same. And it - it needs to get easier, Jeongguk, because I am not like my father. I won’t listen to the greater all.”

Jeongguk snaps his lips shut, pressing them so tightly together they thin. The sizzling behind him picks up, but he doesn’t give Taehyung his back. He stares at Taehyung long and hard, body unmoving. Taehyung doesn’t know what else to say, he struggled just with that, and he wishes Jeongguk would say something because he wants to take it all back.

Everything about it is wrong, even if Taehyung knows it’s right. That’s what they need to do. He so often heard his father say it. It was difficult with his mother at first, but he gave his wolf over to her and it was instinct. To protect, to claim, to care.

“Fine,” Jeongguk finally says. He gives Taehyung his back. “Whatever you say, Alpha.”

Taehyung huffs. He tightens his arms around his chest, hugging himself, because it’s breaking open again. “And what do you suggest then?”

Tension rises in Jeongguk’s back but he moves over the food as calmly as ever. He’s so goddamn infuriating, even though Taehyung gets it. He avoids and Jeongguk shuts down. He gets it. 

“I understand why talking about it makes it harder, so we won’t,” Jeongguk says as he grabs one of the plates. “I’ll get makeup in the morning. Cover up. I won’t bring it up again.”

Taehyung wants to argue even though Jeongguk is only saying what he’s asked him, yelled at him to do. He wishes this conflict wasn’t inside of him or at least he knew how to navigate through it.

It feels wrong, he tells himself it isn’t. Taehyung watches quietly as Jeongguk fills both plates and he wants to grab Jeongguk when he looks at him again. He wants to tell Jeongguk he doesn’t give a fuck, because part of him really doesn’t. 

We’re always told to listen to our instincts, to embrace our wolf. If our wolf claims another, we are only traitors to ourselves if we ignore it. No one should be banned for that.

“But I don’t think it’ll work,” Jeongguk says, his tone flat. They’ve both succeeded in their avoiding and shutting down. They’re masters at it, at this point. “Can’t give over my wolf if it already belongs to another.”

Taehyung’s chest is torn open. It hurts. This is why he avoids because he’d rather deal with anger and frustration than pain. He wants Jeongguk to say this to him differently. He wishes all of this were different. “We have to do something, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk nods. Everything in his eyes is intense and warm and hurt . “We’ll figure it out. Alpha.”

Taehyung wants to grab the word and shove it back into Jeongguk’s mouth just as badly as he wants to press his mouth against Jeongguk’s and have him whisper it against his lips over and over.

Chapter Text

It’s been a week and three days. A week and three days and they haven’t spoken. Or barely spoken, only greeting each other quietly when they’re both at the apartment which is rare . Jeongguk knows Taehyung is avoiding because he is too. 

Because he’s fucking pissed. He’s so angry, and hurt, but Taehyung is also right. Admitting how he feels does nothing, it changes nothing. Giving his wolf over to someone else may work. But it probably won’t, just like avoiding Taehyung won’t do anything but Jeongguk still has to try.

Being around Taehyung makes it ten times harder. He meant it when he said he would bare his neck for him. But he also wants to bite him, layer him with his scent, wrap around him when he can’t sleep, or for other reasons. He wants to kiss him and wrestle with him and make sure he’s eating. Let him do whatever. The list fucking goes on. 

And being away from that isn’t really helping if the hard cock he woke up with this morning is any indication. He doesn’t know if it was his Alpha that was on his knees for him in his dream, but it was definitely him that Jeongguk thought about after he woke.

He wonders if that’s weird or shameful. If Namjoon gets off on that, having Jimin on his knees for him.

He wonders if Jimin could reach Namjoon’s cock on his knees. Or if he has to do a half squat and that’s why his thighs are so thick. 

“You alright, son?” 

Jeongguk glances up, taking a moment to remember where he is and what he’s doing. He quickly nods and waves towards the stack of papers in front of him that he hasn’t been paying attention to. He only pulled them out because he’s stalling. “Going over some things for school.”

Alpha Seonghoon looks at him for a long moment in the way he has been doing a lot lately, right before he starts going on about something Jeongguk doesn’t want to discuss. Or he does want to discuss, he wants to scream it , but he can’t so it just adds to this ever growing pissed off feeling inside of him. 

“You know, if you aren’t interested in going down the public administration path, you don’t have to. You can choose something else. Your father took a keen interest, but - “

“No. I’m interested in this.”

It isn’t technically a lie. Jeongguk is interested, he just hasn’t given it much thought before. While his father has had an active role working alongside Seonghoon in the city, he doesn’t actually know what his father does in detail. In the other long list of responsibilities his father has drilled into his brain, that’s never been one talked about. 

Seonghoon looks unsure, but thankfully, he doesn’t push it. He only gives Jeongguk an accepting nod and slaps his hands to his desk to push away from it. “I’m going to give Taehyung a call. See if he’s gotten himself lost.”

Jeongguk had just turned his face back towards the syllabus he had not been reading when his head snaps up. His heart jumps just at the sound of Taehyung’s name, but hits a little bit harder with the next beat because lost . 

“Or he’s trying to skip out on me again,” Seonghoon goes on. He turns towards a small mirror he has hanging on the wall and adjusts his tie unnecessarily. “He hasn’t said anything to you, has he? He’s been avoiding me.”

Over time, Jeongguk has become a master at expressing nothing. He isn’t quite good at not reacting in the first split second, but he has become pretty good at hiding everything quite quickly. He keeps his face expressionless, shoulders jerking. “I can’t think of anything.”

Seonghoon sighs and offers Jeongguk a small smile. “I’ll give him a call.”

Jeongguk sinks into the chair he sits in the moment Seonghoon steps out. His reason for hiding away in Seonghoon’s office wasn’t actually to hide away, but because he has a request. One that he just hasn’t been able to get to, or get out, but he also is avoiding. He’s been spending a lot of time at Yoongi’s restaurant, but he doesn’t want it to become noticeable that he’s pushing off going home, so he’s had to switch it up. 

But this is going to end in a nightmare because Jeongguk had told Seonghoon he had wanted to speak, and his alpha has waited patiently for him without pushing. He can’t have him bring it up in front of Taehyung. 

Even if it’s Taehyung’s idea.

Every part of Jeongguk, down to the tiniest bits, screams at him that it’s wrong. He’s never been able to master quieting that, even when he’s tried by saying it out loud. Or screaming it, both at himself and Taehyung. 

“I’m sorry about that. I had asked him to meet with my assistant, at least. Wouldn’t think he’d meet with me.” Seonghoon huffs, and for the first time, Jeongguk realizes how tired he looks. He’s spent so much time trying not to make eye contact that he hadn’t realized. “I was hoping to corner him, though, I can’t lie.”

Jeongguk grins when Seonghoon laughs, but he doesn’t return the sound. He doesn’t know why Taehyung would avoid his father, unless he’s just avoiding everyone and not just Jeongguk. He’s done it often enough that this isn’t the first time Seonghoon has come to him in concern.

As much as he had tried not to be, he seemed to always be aware of Taehyung. When he left camp, when he returned. Or didn’t. Seonghoon would come to him then, and just like now, Jeongguk wouldn’t know what to say. 

“What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Seonghoon goes on gently. He sits on the edge of his desk rather than the seat he had been in when Jeongguk came barging in. “I can tell you’re hesitant, but like I told you last week, you can always be open with me.”

Jeongguk taps his fingers over his desk, shrugging a few times. He is a master at keeping everything shoved down and away from his face and mannerisms, but this bit is a little harder. “If you need to see Taehyung, it can wait for another time.”

Seonghoon waves him off. “Tell me. I’ve been incredibly curious.”

After Taehyung asked him why he didn’t want to be friends, Jeongguk spent every moment afterwards wanting to say something. To explain more. He’d stare at Taehyung and try his best to force the words out, but nothing would come.

When Taehyung laid beside him and stared up at the ceiling with him, it finally worked. Jeongguk forced it out, and it backfired greatly on him, but this can’t possibly because he’s already asking for the opposite of what he wants.

“I - well, I wanted to talk to you about - um. Well, you see…When we talked about…”

Seonghoon doesn’t interrupt him, and Jeongguk kind of wishes he would.

“I was just angry with my father,” Jeongguk finally manages. He cringes at himself. “I - I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want to mate.”

Nothing changes on Seonghoon’s face. His head only tilts to the side, and that could mean anything and probably nothing at all.

“I actually want to,” Jeongguk goes on, straightening himself. He curses Taehyung quietly in his mind. “And I thought you have probably had someone in mind all this time, so -”

Jeongguk’s lips snap closed like a habit when Seonghoon lifts his hand in front of himself. His face is kind, but Jeongguk swears he must be aware of how hard his heart is thumping.

“I interrupt to ask you who this is coming from? You or your father?”

It’s a fair question. It hasn’t been that long since Jeongguk fought with his father and told Taehyung’s parents that he didn’t wish to mate, but he hasn’t talked to him since. Neither one of them has tried to reach out, and Jeongguk does not care because he’s turned most of his anger towards his father. 

He feels guilty doing so sometimes, but it was his father’s words that would echo in his mind every time he realized he closed the space between him and Taehyung when they were young. It was his father’s voice that tried to assure him this was right after their last fight, his voice that had Jeongguk trying to build interest in someone else when his wolf would howl every time he so much as glanced at Taehyung.

But Jeongguk got to the point where he was fucking tired and didn’t care to listen to that voice. That’s when he became confusing because the voice is so ingrained in his brain that it would still control his actions, even when he was actively trying to fight against it. Even when he was sure that he did not care because he felt at peace finally talking and being playful with Taehyung again. 

So if it were his father pushing him, he wouldn’t be here. But it’s Taehyung and his sad, desperate eyes and his angry, panicked voice that’s been replaying over and over again in his mind for a week and three days that has him doing this. 

Jeongguk bites his tongue to keep control of his expression, to be convincing because Seonghoon won’t do anything if he doesn’t believe him. “Me, sir.”

Seonghoon’s eyebrows lift. “Are you sure? And do not lie to me.”

He doesn’t use the tone of an alpha, but it’s still a command. One that Jeongguk used to really struggle with not responding to, and he still does in the sense that it feels wrong and shameful. “Yes, sir.”

He sighs before standing. He comes over to him, and just like he does to Taehyung, he gently cups Jeongguk’s cheeks. “How about you focus on school this year, and we talk about this at a later time, hm? Don’t put too much on your plate or you’ll get a stomachache.”

Jeongguk already has one. “Yes, sir.”

Seonghoon pats his cheek a few times. “I find I would much prefer you come to me asking for permission to mate rather than me deciding for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll choose someone I would choose for you. Selfishly, I’d like the confirmation that I’m not shit at this.”

This time, it’s a little easier to fake a grin except he can only allow himself a moment of relief because he has tried and tried and tried before but his wolf still calls the same name. If his alpha doesn’t choose someone for him, Jeongguk’s wolf will stay where it is. “I’m sure you’ve had someone in mind, sir.”

Seonghoon waves a hand at him as he steps away. “Well, I don’t wish to influence you any. I really would like the confirmation. Do you think you could possibly lure Taehyung in here?”

Jeongguk thinks that would have the opposite effect. “I don’t -”

“Make a wounded noise or something when he arrives.”

Jeongguk lifts his brows in question but Seonghoon is already moving away and slowly opening his office door so it’s only opened wide enough for him to stick his ear out of. 

“Sir, I really don’t think he’s avoiding you.”

Seonghoon leans into the doorframe, sighing. “I hope not. My mate says I’m over worrying. Taehyung needs to meet new people, but with that comes him meeting the people that don’t think so kindly of me.” 

At that, Jeongguk doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know how to. He can only think of elders not thinking so kindly of Seonghoon, and Jeongguk has had a long battle between not giving a fuck and not being able to help giving a fuck what they think.

Or humans, but Jeongguk doesn’t really care about them.

“I think Taehyung knows you well enough not to be so easily influenced by something a stranger says.”

Seonghoon smiles, the same boxy grin that Taehyung wears. Jeongguk sometimes gets it directed at him, and it usually feels like a win. Even if it takes bickering to get there. 

“How are you two getting along with the neighbors? I should have told you about Seokjin, but I didn’t want your guard up before you even met him.”

Jeongguk shifts in his seat. He is a little thrown off that the conversation about mates has been so quickly tossed aside when he’s spent the last week preparing for it. Although, while he is frustrated, he is also relieved. He doesn’t really want to talk about this either, because at first, he had thought it was a test.

And he feels a bit bad that he thought that of Seonghoon, but he couldn’t help it. He always feels like he’s being tested. 

Even now.

“Oh, it’s fine. I was a bit…surprised, but he is kind. They all are.”

“Taehyung tells me Seokjin is trying to recruit you to join his cause,” Seonghoon starts, and Jeongguk is almost on his toes in alarm. He starts to push up and rush over to him to fall on his knees with a promise, but Seonghoon makes him freeze in his spot. “It’d be a good idea, if you’re interested.”

Jeongguk slowly readjusts himself. His expression too, though it’s a little harder than it usually is. “I don’t think I am.” 

It feels like the wrong answer.

“I mean, I haven’t given it much thought.”

He’s given it so much thought that he doesn’t know how his brain manages to fit so many things in it at once. 

“You’re a good alpha, sir,” Jeongguk tries quickly, trying to derail Seonghoon from his response because he doesn’t know what the right one is. It’s always been taught to him that speaking out against alphas, tradition, their pack rules, is wrong . Awful. Yet, Seonghoon looks genuine when he speaks, and he is a good alpha. “You have helped wolves that many other alphas would turn their backs to.”

Seonghoon’s face is back towards the crack of the door and Jeongguk knows why. He can sense when Taehyung enters the building, even if he wishes he couldn’t. He still needs some time to prepare himself.

“I did hear you’ve been spending some time with Min Yoongi,” Seonghoon says.

That’s not who Jeongguk meant, though he doesn’t know. As much time as he’s been spending at the restaurant, he doesn’t speak to Yoongi much. Hoseok is quite talkative, but they mostly leave him alone. When Jeongguk stays to help close, Hoseok does most of the talking, but never about how they got to the city or why they’re there.

“He’s coming,” Seonghoon whispers, waving a hand at Jeongguk. “Cry out.”

There must be an incredulous look on Jeongguk’s face, but Seongjoon isn’t looking at him. He considers actually doing as he’s requested, unsure if Seonghoon is being serious, but he doesn’t do anything when Seonghoon flies from the door and settles into his desk chair.

A second later, a hesitant knock comes before the door pushes open.

It’s been a week and three days, and Jeongguk has only seen Taehyung a handful of times. Mostly in the morning, though he often pretends to be asleep while Taehyung showers and moves around the kitchen before leaving. Sometimes they cross paths in the afternoon when Taehyung sneaks back while Jeongguk gets ready to leave too. 

At night, Taehyung is always in his room. Jeongguk has accidentally fallen into a routine of walking inside and making sure Taehyung is home before he takes off his shoes. It’s the only time he fully relaxes. 

“Hey,” Taehyung says. He looks a little awkward when he greets his father, but he only gives him a quick glance before his eyes fall onto Jeongguk and remain there. “Everything okay?”

Seonghoon gives Jeongguk a look he can’t quite read, but he swears it’s partly amused. Jeongguk is sure he’s looking back panicked because he doesn’t want Seonghoon to tell Taehyung why he is here, and he can’t ask him not to.

“Yes. Everything okay with you? I’ve been trying to see that handsome face of yours.”

Taehyung nibbles on his bottom lip and shifts the strap to his bag around his shoulder. “I’ve just been doing a bit of exploring before school starts. Won’t have much time then since you’re insisting on taking up all my free time.”

It’s incredibly awkward. More so than it ever is because if Taehyung is avoiding his father, surely he won’t want Jeongguk here while they talk about it. Nor does he want Jeongguk here at all, probably, but he was supposed to be meeting his father’s assistant rather than his father. And he must have known Jeongguk was here, yet he came into the office first.

Or maybe he just isn’t avoiding his father and is stopping by to say hello to keep up appearances.

“Someone did threaten to come to the city and drag me here if I didn’t stop by,” Taehyung goes on, body rigid as he keeps his gaze on his father. “And I called your assistant before coming to see if I needed to bring anything, and he didn’t know what I was talking about.”

Seonghoon looks guilty as hell though Jeongguk thinks he’s trying to look surprised or confused instead. “Oh, is that right?”

Taehyung shakes his head. He hesitates for a moment before he sits himself beside Jeongguk. It’s so tense that it has to be obvious, but after a long moment of Taehyung adjusting his bag by his feet, he nudges their shoulders and rests against him.

“Alright?”

He says it quietly, head tilted to create a sense of privacy. It’s still for show though, Jeongguk knows. 

Jeongguk may be a master at hiding himself in front of others, but he’s never been quite good at it when it’s just him and Taehyung. Something always slips through. 

“I just had to talk to your father about something.”

Taehyung’s eyes search over his face, and it’s the first time in a week and three days that they’ve actually looked at each other. That they’ve been this close. Jeongguk can see the freckles on his face, the thick of his eyelashes, the tick in his jaw.

The flare of his nostrils.

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” Taehyung says, turning away from him. “I just wanted to show my face before my mother appeared.”

Jeongguk is tempted to bury his nose into Taehyung’s shoulder because he doesn’t smell right. Someone else’s scent is on him, and while it’s so faint that it can’t be from someone trying to scent him, Jeongguk still hates it.

“I asked her not to say anything,” Seonghoon says apologetically. “But she is stubborn.”

It’s Jimin, Jeongguk realizes at the same time he realizes he has leaned in closer to Taehyung. He shifts back in his seat, tucking his hands between his legs and squeezing them with his thighs to keep them there.

“I was just worried you were avoiding me,” Seonghoon admits. “And she said you haven’t been very talkative, so I’m sure you know she’s ordered me to check on you.”

Jeongguk jerks when Taehyung stands. He almost moves to follow after him, but he forces himself to remain where he is.

“I promise I’m not,” Taehyung assures as he throws his bag back over his shoulder. As much as Jeongguk’s been avoiding him, he wants Taehyung to remain beside him. “Just a little nervous for tomorrow. If you don’t actually need me, I’d like to stop at the bookstore.”

However Seonghoon reacts to that, Jeongguk isn’t sure because he’s moving. He hastily stuffs his papers into his own bag before following after Taehyung.

“Yes, yes. But we’re meeting in the morning. Your mother wants pictures.”

Seonghoon sounds a little disappointed, but Taehyung only nods and heads out. He doesn’t say anything when Jeongguk follows him, nor does he look back. He doesn’t walk far off ahead though, remaining close enough that they look like they’re walking together still.

It isn’t until they’re out of the building that Taehyung turns to him.

“I figured your father wouldn’t worry too much if I said I was going with you,” Jeongguk explains when Taehyung parts his lips. “But I’m going to the restaurant.” 

Jeongguk really hates this. He wishes he could take back his confession, that he could take back everything he’s ever done since they were young so this tension between them never existed.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Taehyung says, shifting on his feet. “Something happened.”

It’s a statement, not a question. Jeongguk wonders if he had been so nervous that Taehyung could smell it lingering in the room. Jeongguk has heard that alphas can sense more than a regular wolf. “No.”

Taehyung tilts his head, his gaze unwavering. When he finally looks away, he also turns his body like he’s about to walk off. “I wasn’t actually going to the bookstore, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if my father will check. You should probably come with me. There’s a café next to it. We can get something to eat there.”

It doesn’t mean anything, but Jeongguk’s heart thumps as he moves with Taehyung. 

They are avoiding each other, which defeats the purpose. They can’t be friends and can’t be mates because they’re alpha and second. They have to act like it. They have to be it. It’s the only reason Jeongguk even asked Seonghoon about a mate because he’s desperate to get through everything between him and Taehyung so they can actually do that. 

But avoiding makes it worse, and the reason Jeongguk has been doing so is because he doesn’t know what to say.

“You shouldn’t be nervous for tomorrow. You’ll do great.”

Taehyung glances at him, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Of course you’re not nervous.”

Jeongguk isn’t, not really. As much as he’s been trying to distract himself with preparing for school, he hasn’t done a good job. He hasn’t thought much about it except how he and Taehyung have all the same classes, and it agitates him when they’re surrounded by strangers. 

“You’ve prepared for this more,” Jeongguk tries. “But there’s more pressure on you. It doesn’t matter how I do.”

Taehyung isn’t walking that fast but he slows until they’re side by side. “That’s not true. You’re the first from our pack to attend university that isn’t an alpha.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Wow thanks. Now I am nervous.”

A small laugh comes from Taehyung as he hits him with his elbow, but something close to relief shoots through Jeongguk. “Shit. I’m sorry. I just meant - sometimes you say things like -“ He falls quiet, head down towards his feet. “You’re going to put your all in, and you’re going to do well and impress everyone probably. You always do.” 

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything. Over the past few years, they’ve established a habit of always using teasing or biting words with each other. Jeongguk hasn’t heard Taehyung’s soft tone with him in so long that he has to fight himself not to latch onto it.

And he does by stabbing himself in the chest like a reminder. 

“I went to see your father to ask him who he intended for me to mate.” Jeongguk stares ahead because he doesn’t want to know what Taehyung’s face does. He is very expressive, and Jeongguk doesn’t think he realizes it. Or maybe he just pays too much attention. “And he told me to focus on school and said I could pick something else to major in like it matters. Because it doesn’t really. If I do well or not or even stay.”

Taehyung hits his elbow into him again, but it seems like an accident. It causes Jeongguk to forget his want to look away, and he finds Taehyung’s face crumpled. “What do you mean ‘even stay?’”

Jeongguk shrugs. “If I end up hating it, I don’t have to finish. It doesn’t matter. Once you’re alpha, I’ll mostly be taking care of the pack anyway in your absence. Like my father.”

The frown on Taehyung’s face grows, and Jeongguk worries he sounds like he hates the idea of it. He doesn’t, not really. He doesn’t want to be second because he can’t have Taehyung, but he wants it for every other reason.

Jeongguk wants to take care of their pack, and he takes his position very seriously because he wants to do well. His pack is important to him, and he tries to assure Taehyung he doesn’t mean that it isn’t, but Taehyung wraps his hand around his bicep and quiets him.

“My mother runs the pack,” Taehyung reminds him, “Because your father wanted to join mine, to work alongside him. My father allowed it. The pack was cool with it.”

“Probably because everyone likes your mother more than him.”

Taehyung grins, not denying it. “So you can do whatever you want to do, Jeongguk.”

Not really, Jeongguk thinks. He almost says it, meaning to be teasing because he misses getting Taehyung flustered, but he keeps it to himself because it might just piss them both off instead. 

But he can’t do everything he wants to do. If he could, Taehyung wouldn’t be smelling like another wolf right now. 

“We walked past the bookstore,” Jeongguk says instead.

Taehyung whips his head around, letting out a small sound of surprise before he tuts his teeth and turns back around.

He doesn’t let Jeongguk’s arm go, and Jeongguk doesn’t mention it because he doesn’t want him to. 

The bookstore goes fine. They don’t talk much, only little comments here and there but at least it’s something that starts to work at the tension between them.

When they get home, Taehyung showers and Jeongguk finally relaxes. He smells like himself again, and it doesn’t really calm the urge Jeongguk has to make Taehyung smell like himself instead, but at least it quiets his wolf.

Taehyung lingers in the kitchen and then near the couch, a mug in his hand as he looks at the television that Jeongguk isn’t paying attention to.

He has a feeling Taehyung isn’t either. He looks tense, though Jeongguk is trying not to look at him. He’s trying to be at ease so they can be. It might not be a good idea to pretend like nothing happened, but Jeongguk is going for it anyway because avoiding each other isn’t working.

He wracks his brain to think of something to say. He even tries to pay attention to the show playing to make a comment about it, but Taehyung speaks first.

“Did my father say who he had in mind for you? My mother said he had someone, but she claims not to know who.”

Jeongguk twists to look at him. “No. He said it’s up to me. He wants to know if I’ll choose the same person as he has. A confirmation that he isn’t shit at pairing people together or something.”

Taehyung frowns deeply, eyes hard on Jeongguk. He’s the least scariest person Jeongguk has ever met, but there are times when the alpha inside of him shines and he understands why others are intimidated by him. He understands why wolves have run to Seokmin with their tails between their legs to offer apologies or why visiting wolves have kept their heads bowed in front of him.

And maybe now Jeongguk is understanding why the others in their pack have admitted to him that they haven’t approached him on the subject of mating when Taehyung is around.

“That means it’s someone you know.”

Jeongguk shrugs. He doesn’t want to talk about this, but it’s his fault for telling Taehyung. “If that’s the case, then he’s chosen wrong.”

Taehyung taps his fingers around his mug and nods. “Goodnight, Jeongguk. Sleep well. I’m sure he’ll be here bright and early in the morning.”

He is. Jeongguk jerks awake to the sound of the front door opening. A growl rumbles in his throat but he quickly swallows it down when he hears Seonghoon laugh.

“It’s just me, pup.”

Taehyung comes stumbling out of his room a second later. He looks like he’s still asleep, eyes heavy and closed, hair messy. He breathes in and relaxes, his eyes peeking open.

“Appa, the sun isn’t even up yet.”

It isn’t. It isn’t as dark as night, but Seonghoon still has to flick on a light to carry the bags he holds to the kitchen divider. Jeongguk groans and quickly covers his eyes. He desperately wants to roll onto his stomach and bury his face into the couch until he falls back asleep, but he’s been granted a great opportunity and he doesn’t want to come off unappreciative.

“We are creatures of the moon,” Seonghoon responds brightly, earning a groan from Taehyung. “I didn’t want you two to sneak out on me. I know it’s no fun going to your first day of school with your father.”

Taehyung hangs his head back as Jeongguk grins. “You are aware, and yet -” 

Seonghoon clasps his hands to Taehyung’s cheeks, bringing his head back down.

When they were younger, Jeongguk couldn’t imagine Taehyung being as large as his father. He used to tease him for it, but with them standing side by side now, Jeongguk realizes he is. Bigger, actually. A bit taller and broader. He filled out well, too well if his hormones have anything to say about it.

They have a lot to say about it, actually. Jeongguk shakes his head and curses at himself because it’s early as hell and he’s half asleep and really shouldn’t be thinking about Taehyung’s body.

“I have a meeting with the President. It has nothing to do with you, my pride and joy. My best boy.”

Taehyung side eyes Jeongguk, his face a touch pink, but he doesn’t push his father off. 

“I remember when you were an infant. Oh, how you clung to your mother and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. You would cry and cry when I held you and only your mother and Boyoung could calm you down.”

Taehyung closes his eyes, his face turning a dark shade of red that brings a smile to Jeongguk’s lips.

“Oh, how it hurt my pride.”

Seonghoon looks a second away from bursting out in laughter, his face bright while Taehyung’s is twisted in agony. It seems like he’s going to show Taehyung mercy when he lets his face go, but he only reaches for Jeongguk after he stands and places a firm hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder.

“You didn’t want anyone else when Jeongguk was born. The fuss you would kick when we tried to separate you two. You even bit me once.”

Shamefully, Jeongguk’s wolf perks his head up at that. He doesn’t think Taehyung can tell, but he glares at him as if he can. 

“Your mother reminded me of that the other day,” Seonghoon goes on, the amusement still loud as he squeezes Jeongguk’s shoulder. “You’ve been attached since birth like you knew even at a young age who you were to each other, and oh the happiness I feel seeing the two of you now.”

The amusement Jeongguk feels suddenly dies. He avoids looking at Taehyung, even when Seonghoon gives them his back.

“I brought food. Can’t start an adventure on an empty belly. And your mother wants pictures, remember?”

Jeongguk may not be able to look at Taehyung, but he can feel Taehyung’s eyes on him. He’s suddenly very awake, and he excuses himself for the bathroom after getting his clothes like he’s picked up Taehyung’s habit of running away. 

The shower is really nice, but Jeongguk misses the river. He misses the morning sun coming down on him as he bathes, the smell of the forest. Though thinking about the river has him thinking about being there with Taehyung. How he looked under the sun, wet hair pushed back and droplets of water clinging to his skin.

How he felt when they pressed up together while playing together, and Jeongguk had to rush off because he had his hands on Taehyung’s legs and it was doing something to him.

“God, he’s a lot.”

Jeongguk jerks at the sound of the door opening. His heart skips a beat as he shakes his head like that’ll get the image of Taehyung’s naked, wet body out of his mind. 

“He keeps talking about me when I was a baby. It’s making me feel old. Or like, I’m goingt o die or something.”

Like a habit, Jeongguk’s body turns slightly in the direction of Taehyung. He can only make out his blurred shape through the film covered glass separating them, but Taehyung could easily take a few steps back and be at the entrance of the shower. 

Not that he would , Jeongguk thinks as he rolls his eyes at himself.

“He’s excited.”

Taehyung laughs quietly, and it’s normal. It feels normal though it’s been so long since anything has been normal between them and Jeongguk knows it isn’t.

But it’s nice all the same, though he rolls his eyes at himself again because Taehyung is taking a piss and he’s scrubbing his armpits and Jeongguk’s thought is this is nice . 

“Yeah, well. Someone has to be.”

“You’re not?”

Taehyung’s sigh can barely be heard over the stream of the water. He doesn’t respond at first, and when he’s finished using the bathroom, Jeongguk watches his blurred shape take a step back but he doesn’t leave.

“Like you said, I’ve been preparing for this my whole life practically,” Taehyung finally replies. “You haven’t. I didn’t want you to come before, because…well, you know.”

Jeongguk doesn’t know, actually. He could take a couple of guesses, but he doesn’t know how right he would be. There were times he thought Taehyung actually hated him, and he would understand if he did. Their relationship became this thing full of hurt, anger, confusion, and avoidance, yet the pull between them existed still. Jeongguk hated the idea of Taehyung being gone for so long, alone in the city. He had been dreading the day he was to leave.

When Seonghoon asked him to join him, Jeongguk said yes so quickly that Seonghoon laughed. It would not only ease his stress about being so far away from Taehyung, but also, he saw it as a chance to figure out all their shit and get past it to be who they are supposed to be.

It seems impossible, and one of Jeongguk’s guesses is that Taehyung thinks the same thing. Or that he didn’t want him to come because of this hurt and anger, because it’s hard to be around each other with that and this pull between them.

Jeongguk knows for a fact now that Taehyung doesn’t hate him, at least. 

“But either way, thank you for coming,” Taehyung says, his words soft. “It was a lot to ask of you, but - but thank you because I don’t think I could do this alone.”

Jeongguk’s heart swells. He knows Taehyung would have preferred Seokmin to come with him, but he wonders if Taehyung would have felt it too. If it would have bothered him being so far apart for so long.

“It wasn’t a lot to ask. It was an easy decision to make.”

It’s quiet. Jeongguk strains his ears to listen for Taehyung, forgetting to wash out the rest of the shampoo from his hair. He just stands there with the water hitting his shoulders as he eyes the blurred shape of Taehyung’s body. 

“Don’t leave me out there alone with him for long, please.”

The door opens over Jeongguk’s promise that he won’t. He stares down at his soapy feet as he breathes in slowly and allows the smile to take over his face. 

When he’s cleaned and dressed, he finds Taehyung and Seonghoon talking quietly to each other. Taehyung is smiling, thankfully. The kind of smile where his eyes crinkle around the corners. He leans his head into his hand as he looks down at his bowl, and Jeongguk doesn’t hear what Seonghoon is saying but he isn’t sure if he should interrupt.

He doesn’t want to be the reason Taehyung stops smiling even if he was the one that asked him to not leave him alone for long.

“Oh yeah, I was a wreck. Your grandfather teased me relentlessly. I wish I had asked him if Jongyul could come too. It would have made things a lot easier for me.”

The smile doesn’t die when Taehyung meets Jeongguk’s eyes. He waves him over, and it almost feels normal, like they’ve made peace after a week of avoiding each other. That might just be him getting his hopes up, but he can’t help it even if he’s a big part of the reason they haven’t spoken much. 

“Don’t ever tell anyone this,” Seonghoon threatens, “I cried on my first day.”

“I know. Eomma told me.”

A look of betrayal crosses Seonghoon’s face but amusement swells inside of Jeongguk as Taehyung laughs. 

“She’s lucky I love her,” Seonghoon says, head shaking. “Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Mm. She’d say you’re the lucky one,” Taehyung murmurs.

“And am ,” his father agrees firmly. “Don’t forget dinner tonight. You can invite Jimin’s pack if you’d like.” He looks to Jeongguk. “And Yoongi and his mate. Or any other friends you’ve made if you’re afraid I’m going to interrogate you.”

Jeongguk hadn’t been worried about that, but now he kind of is. Taehyung rolls his eyes and bumps his elbow against him before twisting away with his bowl in his hands.

“Like that would stop you,” he says. “I’m going to get dressed so we can get these pictures over with.”

Jeongguk wants to follow after him, but he thinks that’d look far more inappropriate than Taehyung taking a quick piss while he was in the shower. He’s worried Seonghoon will bring up any part of their conversation from the day before, but thankfully he doesn’t. He just talks about things from when he was in school and doesn’t seem to need more than Jeongguk’s occasional addition to the conversation. 

It takes forever for Taehyung to join them again. So much so that Seonghoon starts checking his watch like he hadn’t shown up much earlier than he needed to and they’re not even close to running behind. 

When he does appear, Jeongguk stares. He knows he does. He doesn’t try to stop himself either because he’s forgotten that he should.

Taehyung isn’t wearing anything spectacular. Just a plain, white shirt tucked into a pair of black jeans. Which, Jeongguk is sure, is on purpose. Taehyung probably wants to blend even though that’s impossible. (Not just because he looks so similar to his father.) And he kind of looks like a dudebro. Jeongguk assumes, at least. He doesn’t really know what a dudebro looks like but Taehyung twists his black cap backwards and he’s pretty sure dudebros do that. 

But Jeongguk has rarely ever seen Taehyung in jeans, or pants that cling to his legs at all. And the way he has his shirt tucked in shows how broad he is. And with his hair pushed back, Jeongguk sees his forehead -

“If you’re going to say I look stupid, quiet.”

Jeongguk blinks. He’s surprised Taehyung says this in front of his father, though he supposes it’s better than what he actually wants to say. They have tried their hardest to keep their feud a secret, though Seongjoon could take it as playful banter between bros.

“You look ridiculous.”

Taehyung grins, his shoulders relaxing. “Says you.” He waves a hand at him. “Your pants have four hundred pockets.”

Jeongguk can’t help but look down, though he knows there aren’t close to that many. There are a lot , but that’s why he likes them. One always needs pockets.

“I need them.”

Taehyung stares at him for a moment before he shakes his head. “Sure, sure. Let’s get these pictures over with.”

Jeongguk has a feeling they aren’t just for Taehyung’s mother as he stands and Seonghoon hurriedly pulls out his cellphone and wears a smile that takes over his entire face. Jeongguk settles awkwardly beside Taehyung, wondering how close he should or shouldn’t be.

Taehyung decides for them, moving a bit closer. He looks at Jeongguk before he reaches over and swipes a thumb over the corner of his mouth.

They pretend he didn’t, but Jeongguk’s heart is thrumming. Even more so after the first picture when Taehyung hangs an arm on his shoulder.

By the fourth one, Jeongguk relaxes and hooks his arm around Taehyung’s neck. He’s going for a friendly look he swears, though he catches himself pressing himself into Taehyung a little too firmly.

Jeongguk expected this to be hard because it’s always been hard, but he’s starting to get incredibly annoyed with himself. And yet, he can’t help but feel smug when his scent lingers on Taehyung after Seonghoon finally asks for a picture of them separately.

He takes so many that Jeongguk worries about his phone storage.

“Great,” Seonghoon murmurs. Definitely for him too, Jeongguk thinks because his eyes are glistening. “Such handsome young men. I’ll make sure your mother gets these too, Jeongguk-ah.”

Jeongguk nods, tucking his hands into his pockets. His skin tingles where he had been pressed against Taehyung, and he craves to return to his side. 

He doesn’t know how he’s going to do this. He has a hard time stopping himself when instinct pulls at him, and it’s always his instinct to crowd around Taehyung when they’re around new people. There are times he succeeds and times he fails, and he really needs to succeed today. 

“You know where your classes are, right? Stick together. We can meet on campus if you’d like at the end of the day. I’ll wear a disguise.”

Taehyung stares up at the ceiling of the bus, his cheeks red again. Jeongguk probably knows it’s because his father keeps doing this, not so quietly, and Jimin and his pack are sitting in the row behind them. 

Jeongguk would think it’s amusing again except he had tried sitting beside Seonghoon when Taehyung dragged him into the seat beside him instead. He had been tense at first, but now he’s pressed up into Jeongguk’s side. Any closer, and he will be in his lap.

It’s a bit distracting.

Plus, Taehyung keeps plucking at his pants and Jeongguk wants to grab his hand or bury his face into the back of his neck to ease his nerves. It would probably only stress him out more, but sometimes Jeongguk doesn’t care about how they’re supposed to act or how they look when he craves to tend to Taehyung. 

“Or we can meet somewhere else if you don’t want to take the risk.” Seonghoon turns, looking at where Jimin sits behind them. “You’re welcome to join us. I’d like to know how you’re settling in as well, and if there’s anything I can assist you with.” 

As if he can tell, and he probably can, Seonghoon holds up a hand when Jin jolts forward and opens his mouth.

“We have a meeting next week. I do ask kindly that we don’t speak of politics tonight.”

Jin settles back, unbothered. “Technically politics.”

There’s a small smile on Seonghoon’s face when he sits back. “Technically politics.”

Taehyung looks away from the ceiling, still pressed into Jeongguk. He must be aware of how close they are, and Jeongguk is really trying his best not to think about it. Taehyung is confusing enough, which he gets because he is too. Even when he’s really trying not to be.

But Taehyung is making it very hard not to rub into him. The closer they get to the university, the more agitated Jeongguk gets. He’s already a little on edge surrounded by so many people now, though it’s easier to shove down because his alpha is near and the only wolves he can sense are the three behind them. 

Taehyung turns to him when Jin ignores Seonghoon’s request for later and starts talking politics. His eyes search over his face, a look in his eyes that Jeongguk can’t read. But they’re close, and it feels private somehow.

Especially when Taehyung reaches up and touches the side of his neck where there was once a mark. Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung can tell he’s agitated because there’s no reason to touch him, especially given everything that’s happened, but it calms him.

The touch lasts only a brief moment before Taehyung turns away from him. Jeongguk doesn’t move at first, eyeing the tick in Taehyung’s jaw. He sighs internally and turns his attention to the window in an attempt to tune everyone out. 

It only slightly works.

“You know, the upperclassmen have a get-together to welcome the new wolves,” Jimin is saying, propped on the back of their seats by Taehyung’s head. “You have to come. It’s at the dorms. Namjoon lived there last year before your father moved us into his apartment building.”

Jeongguk turns to them. He wonders why their alpha allows so many wolves to attend university, but only them two from their own pack. He wants to ask, but it doesn’t feel like his place. 

“Was it hard being away from him?” Taehyung asks instead of responding, whispering. “While he was here?”

There’s a soft smile on Jimin’s face as he nods. “Both of them.” He nudges his head towards Jin too. “I spent weeks preparing my argument for when your father came to visit because I knew Namjoon really wanted to come, but he wouldn’t ask. Didn’t feel it was his place so he only applied for the work program so he could be in the city too. Neither one of us liked Jin out here alone, so that made it a little easier. Time went by quickly.”

“It tends to do that,” Taehyung murmurs, turning away from him. He taps at his knee a few times before he rests the back of his hand against Jeongguk’s thigh. It’s a weird way to rest it, but Jeongguk highly doubts Taehyung is asking him to hold his hand. He just wants to.

“That it does,” Jimin agrees, tugging at the back of Taehyung’s hat playfully. “Make sure you come. The wolves are excited to meet their alpha.”

The urge to grab onto Taehyung’s hand only grows when his face morphs into something grim. Jimin tugs his hat once more before he settles back into his seat and Jeongguk hears him whisper something to Namjoon. 

“It’s a good idea,” Jeongguk whispers. “Your great-grandfather first allowed for alphas to attend to build pack relations.”

Taehyung side eyes him, the corner of his mouth twitching. “He allowed that because my grandfather was going to the city and it wasn’t safe for a wolf to be alone.”

Jeongguk shrugs, returning Taehyung’s smile because he looks a bit more relaxed now. “Well, your pack wouldn’t be as large as it is if it weren’t for that.”

Taehyung turns his hand so his palm rests against Jeongguk’s leg instead. “Yeah, yeah. I have to go. It’s my duty. You’re coming with me, though.”

“Is that so?” Jeongguk quirks a brow playfully, but relief courses through him. He was wondering if Taehyung is only acting like this today because he’s nervous about being around so many unfamiliar wolves. If today would end and they’d go back to not talking and avoiding each other.

There may be no reason to be relieved at all, but Jeongguk clings to it.

“Yes,” Taehyung whispers firmly, almost like a command. It makes Jeongguk laugh. “This is your chance too, you know. To be your own person without what your grandfather did hanging over you.”

Jeongguk hesitates, looking over Taehyung’s profile. He never really considered that before because he’s never lived a moment where it wasn’t. Even if he thinks the wolves in his own pack really like him, he doesn’t know how much trust they have in him when it really comes down to it. “Everyone knows what he did.”

Taehyung squeezes his thigh. “Well, if you keep growling at everyone who comes near me like you have a tendency to do, no one will doubt you.”

“I don’t growl,” Jeongguk complains, but when he looks away, there’s a smile on his face. 

When they get off the bus, Taehyung remains close. Even when he says goodbye to his father, Jimin bumps into him and throws an arm over his shoulder after saying goodbye to Namjoon and Jin. At one point, it looks as if Taehyung is going to grab his arm when they enter the campus, and something inside of Jeongguk snaps. 

He ignores the precautions and the reminders and everything else and slips his fingers around Taehyung’s wrist.

“I think it’s this way.”

Taehyung doesn’t pull away and Jeongguk takes that as a sign to keep holding on. He does almost growl in warning when Jimin looks a little too long at the hold he has on Taehyung, but he swallows it down as not to prove Taehyung right. 

It just builds up because there’s a lot of wolves, that’s all. He knew there would be, but he’s surprised by just how many his nose catches as they walk across campus and through the first building. He feels surrounded, especially when Jimin guides them to find their seats. The hair stands up at the back of Jeongguk’s neck because there’s wolves behind them, in front of them, on the sides. 

It’s probably better than humans but his wolf is at the ready. 

“Calm down,” Taehyung whispers, leaning in to brush the words against his ear. He moves a hand over Jeongguk’s thigh and presses down. “You smell like a war.”

Jeongguk grins. He doesn’t turn to look at him because then their faces will be touching. “That’s an exaggeration.”

“No.” Taehyung laughs under his breath, which trails down Jeongguk’s jaw to his throat. He forgets for just a moment, just like he always does, and tilts his head.

Taehyung’s breath lingers against his skin before he rips away and heat bursts across Jeongguk’s chest.

Shit. Shit. He is incredibly bad at this, but Taehyung isn’t any better and that thought makes part of him rejoice and the other ache.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung seethes. “Just - this person’s about to talk. Let’s focus.”

Jeongguk somehow manages to. He strains his eyes forward and doesn’t pay attention to everything he takes in when he inhales. The hand Taehyung has on his thigh grounds him, and his own fingers twitch to wrap him around again.

You have to find another mate , Jeongguk reminds himself. Taehyung isn’t yours , Jeongguk reminds his wolf. 

At one point, Taehyung’s fingers tighten against his leg before he reaches up towards his head like he’s grabbing for the hat he had taken off before they entered the building. When he realizes, he glances to the side and sighs. 

Jeongguk tries to be discreet, but he also doesn’t care if he isn’t when he leans forward to see what is making Taehyung fidget. He doesn’t see at first, but then someone looks their way, makes eye contact with him and jerks around before whispering something he can’t hear to the person next to them. 

Taehyung presses his fingers to his mouth, his eyes trailing after Jeongguk when he settles back, and they’re bright. “You look like you’re about to growl.”

It takes Jeongguk a moment to realize his upper lip is curled and he folds it beneath his teeth and pretends like he wasn’t just scowling. 

It’s going to be a long fucking day. 

“If one more person asks you if you’re Alpha Kim or Alpha Seonghoon’s son, I’m going to tattoo your name onto your forehead myself.”

They’re on a break. They’ve parted ways with Jimin for now as he went to meet with Jin between classes, leaving them alone. They aren’t quite secluded, but Jeongguk feels a bit better because they’re sitting at a corner table and it makes him feel like he’s finally away from the crowd. 

Taehyung kicks him underneath the table, but the blow to his calf is soft. “Is that why you’ve been glaring at my forehead? It’s starting to give me a complex.”

Shit. Jeongguk rolls his eyes, embarrassment leaking through him. “No. I just don’t understand why you put on a hat if you keep taking it off.”

“It’s rude to wear inside.”

“Right. My point.” 

Taehyung’s lips twitch but he presses his lips together as If to stop it. Jeongguk wants to ask him not to. “I wanted to complete the look.”

“You look like a dudebro.”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“If that’s what you -”

“Excuse me? Are you Kim Taehyung?”

As soon as Jeongguk whips his head to the side, Taehyung presses his toes onto the top of Jeongguk’s foot like a warning. It’s enough to distract him from his fight with his smile, and he lets it slip through. Jeongguk focuses on that instead of his annoyance that another unfamiliar wolf is coming up to them. 

Or well, he tries to. 

“Alpha Kim Taehyung,” Jeongguk corrects. 

Taehyung pushes down on his foot.

“Ah, yes.”

The girl beams, head bowing. It’s the same as the rest of the wolves that have approached Taehyung. They say their name, their parents, where they’re from. They go to take Taehyung’s hand as they say how great it is to meet them but always seem to decide against it.

Jeongguk isn’t sure why, but his wolf is grateful.

And then they turn to him with the same gleaming eyes and introduce themselves like he hadn’t heard every word they said to Taehyung. Taehyung told him this is his chance to be his own person, and Jeongguk really likes the idea of that. If he’s going to be working alongside Taehyung in the city, he needs to builds relationships as well, or at least a good reputation, but today is putting him on edge. 

“Jeon Jeongguk,” Jeongguk introduces. He keeps his father’s name out of it, but he’s sure they know who he is. He’s having a hard time grasping that because he went into this preparing for everyone to know Taehyung and forgot they could know him too. “Bodyguard.”

Taehyung has already told him twice to stop introducing himself that way, but Jeongguk appreciates how everyone has taken a step back and stopped trying to reach for his hand too after he says it.

“Would you stop? You’re making me feel like an ass.”

“You are an ass.”

Jeongguk doesn’t mean it. Or, he kind of does because Taehyung told him he wants to mark him then left and came back to tell him to mate someone else. And he isn’t an ass at all but Jeongguk has to keep reminding himself of this and it’s one of the things making him grumpy.

“You’re going to have to start sitting across the room at this rate or everyone is going to be afraid to approach me and my bodyguard .”

Jeongguk grins. “You’re the one that’s chosen to sit on my lap in nearly every class that you’ve been able to so far.”

Taehyung’s face fills with alarm. “What? No, I have not. That would be -”

Confusing , Jeongguk fills in silently. “Either way, you don’t want anyone to approach you.”

Taehyung doesn’t argue this because he can’t. He settles back into the seat he sits on and sighs. 

“Whatever. It’s fine for today because we’re in a new place, but I will sit across the room because being so close to you is really hard on me.” 

It’s better to say it out right, Jeongguk supposes, even though he wants to take it back as soon as it leaves his mouth. But they make things harder on themselves because they don’t actually say things, and when they do it backfires. But Jeongguk is taking his chance now because he has to.

Taehyung’s eyes widen slightly, his face warming. “I - I don’t always realize how close I am until I already am.”

Jeongguk gets that. He always finds himself close like he’s been pulled towards Taehyung. It used to always be him that’d close the space between them, that’d have to put a hand so where Taehyung just to feel the warmth in his skin, and so often, he wouldn’t even remember making the decision to move forward.

“It’s fine for today,” Jeongguk tells him. He looks away from Taehyung because it’s too much and lets his eyes scan the hall they’re in. “It relaxes me too.”

He expects Taehyung to remind him not to say such things, that it doesn’t help, but Taehyung doesn’t say anything at all. He just sighs and brings his legs up onto his chair to hug his chest. 

The silence between them remains until they leave for their next class.

This time, the seats are far apart and Jeongguk refrains from introducing himself at all to the next person to ask ‘ are you Kim Taehyung?’

As soon as their last class is over, Taehyung tucks the hat back over his head. This time the right way, the rim tugged down so it shadows just face. His body relaxes and he walks too close to Jeongguk, but neither of them mention it.

He only puts space between them when they meet up with Jimin, but not much. 

“What’s this I hear about you having a bodyguard?”

Jimin smiles, leaning into Taehyung’s side. “A few of Namjoon’s classmates said they met the alpha and his very scary bodyguard. Namjoon didn’t know who they meant, but I reminded him of Jeongguk’s ‘grr’ face -”

He puts a hand over his face as if to explain, but it doesn’t. Jeongguk frowns, offended.

“I don’t have a ‘grr’ face.”

“You do,” both Taehyung and Jimin say, but Taehyung taps their elbows together like he’s reassuring him it’s a joke. 

“I suppose you do look like a bodyguard,” Jimin says thoughtfully as he looks Jeongguk up and down. “There’s a bunch of theories as to why the little alpha would have one.”

This time, Jeongguk grins when Taehyung frowns. “Little alpha.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I don’t want to hear any of the theories.”

“Mm, but people think you have an enemy though,” Jimin laughs. His laugh grows louder when his eyes land on Jeongguk. “How do you not realize your face does that?”

Taehyung rubs a hand over Jeongguk’s shoulder, pushing his fingers beneath the strap of his backpack before he can respond to that. He doesn’t know what his face is doing, and he refrains from touching it to see like he wants to. “No more teasing my second. He isn’t used to other wolves like we are.”

He isn’t either, only a little more than him, but Jeongguk refrains from commenting on it because his mind is stuck on mine . 

Jimin rubs his shoulder against Jeongguk’s. “It’s cute, really, and I can’t blame you. Even being more used to it, it’s overwhelming. Jin said it would be, but I wasn’t expecting how badly I wanted to leave class and find them. Ah! There he - of course he’s with your father already.”

They all turn in the direction Jimin does, finding Seonghoon walking alongside Jin, who holds his hands out as he speaks. 

“He should be careful,” Jeongguk mumbles as Jimin steps away from him like he may run towards his second. “The alphas aren’t going to like it if they hear what he’s trying to gather support for.”

The scowl appears immediately. One moment, Jimin’s looking brightly towards his second and the next, the alpha radiates off of him. It’s a bit disorientating, and habit has Jeongguk wanting to drop to his knees but Taehyung’s hand shifts to his elbow and squeezes on like he knows.

“The alphas aren’t going to be able to do shit about it,” Jimin responds. “Those who don’t like it are those who will turn their backs on members of their packs for little things. For acting on the instinct we’re taught to listen to. Wolves will leave, and your father has created ways for them to. Those alphas will lose, or they will be afraid of losing their pack now that Alpha Seonghoon has made it safe for wolves to leave.”

He walks off then, that smile returning as he approaches Jin and grabs his forearms. Whatever he says has Seonghoon laughing, hand waving in front of him.

Taehyung shifts against Jeongguk, moving his hand from his elbow to his nape. He fluffs the hair there with his fingers when he looks over his face. “The elders in our pack wouldn’t like it, but they wouldn’t do much about it other than grumble. They won’t leave. They can’t take him on. All they do is grumble.”

Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip. “Your parents listen to those grumbles.”

Taehyung tugs on a strand of his hair, his head tilting to the side in consideration. “Mm. You’re going to have to do that when I’m the alpha. You’re better at kissing ass than me.”

Amusement swells inside of Jeongguk as he pushes Taehyung away from him. A bright smile takes over Taehyung’s face as he laughs and grabs onto Jeongguk’s arm. 

“I’ll show you how good I am at kissing ass,” Jeongguk threatens as he tries to escape Taehyung’s grip. He pulls Taehyung closer instead, not meaning to do so, and Taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise but it takes Jeongguk a moment to realize why.

Shit. He didn’t mean to say it like that.

Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip, tugging it into his mouth. He slowly lets Jeongguk go, readjusting the straps around his shoulders. He takes a step back, body turning when the others approach, but the smile remains on his face. 

“How has the pack taken to Chan? He doesn’t offer much.”

“Fine, I suppose. Yoongi doesn’t offer much either. He feels guilty, you know. His sister is so young.”

Jeongguk is between Seonghoon and Hoseok and he’s trying to listen. He’s curious about Hoseok and Yoongi, how they got here and why Yoongi stepped down from being alpha, but his eyes are trained on Taehyung. He stands away from their table, phone cradled to his ear.

There’s a frown on his face, and every now and then, his eyes flicker to Jeongguk before he turns his body like he’s trying to hide his face. 

“He shouldn’t feel guilty. You two weren’t given much choice but to leave, yet you’re still doing everything to help a pack that has turned on you.”

“Mostly just the elders,” Yoongi pipes in as he squeezes between Hoseok and Jeongguk to place a steaming hot pot down on the table. “Once they’re dead, I’m sure we’ll be given a much warmer welcome.”

Jeongguk jerks at that, though Yoongi’s tone isn’t cold or harsh. It is simply said, like it’s just a fact. Hoseok huffs and hits his arm gently in scolding.

“It’s true,” Yoongi argues. He slips off the mitten he wears and brushes his hand over the top of Hoseok’s head. “And we aren’t returning until then. I’m already seen as a traitor, it would be even worse if I killed off half my pack for threatening you.”

Hoseok sighs and rolls his eyes. “Enough of that. Would you sit down?”

“Yes, yes,” Seonghoon says, waving a hand at Yoongi. “I’ve invited you to join us, not serve us.”

“I can do both,” Yoongi responds proudly before he slips his mitten back on and walks off. Hoseok’s eyes follow after him, a fond look on his face.

Jeongguk doesn’t think he should say anything, though his silence is probably noticeable. He doesn’t know what Yoongi and Hoseok went through, but Seonghoon must, and he didn’t react negatively to Yoongi’s claim that he would kill off his pack.

He wants to ask, but it isn’t his place. So he sits quietly and watches Taehyung rub at the back of his neck, fluffing up the hair that’s already a bit messy from wearing his hat. His shoulders slump before he tucks the phone into his pocket and returns to the table, sitting across from Jeongguk to be on his father’s right.

“What did I miss?”

“Yoongi threatening to kill his whole pack,” Jimin says, sitting beside Taehyung. He knocks their elbows together. “Nothing new.” 

Alarm crosses Taehyung’s face, his head whipping around to look at Jimin. “What?”

“Not whole ,” Hoseok clarifies with a finger wagging. “Yoongi wasn’t supposed to be Alpha. That was his older brother, but he died while out on a hunt. Yoongi was supposed to not only take his place, but mate with his brother’s intended. He refused, even though it was planned from birth that she’d be the mate to the next alpha. The elders weren’t so happy and may have tried to get rid of me because I was the reason he wouldn’t.”

He says it with a shrug, nothing showing on his face but when Yoongi comes back with another plate full of food, he puts his hand back in Hoseok’s hair. He remains then, sitting beside him and keeping his hand on his mate while he tells everyone else to start eating.

Jeongguk still has questions, not only for Yoongi and Hoseok, but Taehyung as well. He looked uncomfortable while talking on the phone, and he’s quiet now. As they pass food around and fill their plates, Taehyung doesn’t say much. Even when Jimin nudges him or his father tells him quietly that Yoongi may have stepped down from alpha, but all of the money he makes here goes back to his pack.

Carefully, Jeongguk stretches his foot out to find Taehyung’s. Nerves spark in him that he’ll accidentally play footsies with Seonghoon or Jimin instead, but when Jeongguk presses down and Taehyung looks up, he relaxes.

Jeongguk tilts his head in question, wishing they could communicate like this. If he’d even tell him that is. They aren’t friends, Jeongguk reminds himself. He sighs because even after not speaking for over a week, it’s so easy to fall into Taehyung and forget that.

Tomorrow they may go back to not talking. They can’t avoid each other as they have the same classes, but maybe they’ll go back to not being at the apartment at the same time. 

Maybe Taehyung will do as Jeongguk attempted to do and try to find someone to give his wolf to.

Jeongguk presses his tongue into the roof of his mouth when Taehyung offers him a small smile that doesn’t answer his question. Their eyes only stay connected for a moment before Jimin starts to talk to Taehyung about their Freshman Seminar professor, and the pack she’s from.

As soon as they’re alone, though, Jeongguk gives into his curiosity. After they say goodbye to their neighbors in the hallway and slip inside their dark apartment, Jeongguk asks.

“What happened before dinner?”

Taehyung looks up at him as he pulls off his shoes and hangs his backpack. “Nothing. Just my mother calling to ask about my day.”

“You looked…bothered,” Jeongguk tries, following his action. He wants to so badly crawl onto his couch and fall asleep, but he also doesn’t want the day to be over. “Is everything okay?”

Taehyung rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Just…what did you say to my father when you asked about a mate?”

Jeongguk’s brows shoot upwards. “Oh, that I was angry when I said I didn’t want one and that I actually did.”

Confusion fills Jeongguk when Taehyung’s shoulders droop. “My mother asked me if I was the reason you changed your mind, and she scolded me.”

“Your father asked if it was coming from me or my father. He never mentioned you.”

Taehyung nods. He hesitates for a moment before he closes the space between them. Jeongguk braces himself. He doesn’t want Taehyung to speak because it’s never good when he does in moments like these. But he also wants Taehyung to speak, to say things that he can’t because it doesn’t make anything easier.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

Jeongguk can’t help the way his mouth parts in surprise. He really wasn’t expecting that, but he’s relieved because he was worried Taehyung would disappear to his room and things would go back to how they’ve been the last week.

“I - yeah, sure.”

Taehyung nods and disappears to change into his pajamas. Jeongguk is stuck staring after him before he realizes he should probably change too before he gets back. 

He’s a little excited. He can’t help it. Back home, they ran together a few times, and here, they’ve had to travel and run errands and eat together. But they haven’t spent time together without a reason behind it.

Jeongguk nervously moves the blanket again before he throws it onto the couch, his mind on snacks. He raids their pantry, and by the time he comes out, Taehyung is waiting for him. He looks a bit apprehensive before he settles onto the couch, shoving himself into the arm of it as if he’s trying to create as much room between them as possible.

“Do you have anything in mind?” 

“I figured you did,” Jeongguk replies. He deposits the bags of snacks onto the table in front of the couch before he sits too. The couch is too big, but he doesn’t shove himself far away from Taehyung. If it’s like it’s been today, Taehyung needing to be close out of comfort, he wants to open himself to it.

Even if he probably shouldn’t. 

“Take the blanket,” Jeongguk offers, pushing the blanket to him. It’s hard for him to imagine that his scent is comforting to Taehyung after Taehyung has so often claimed that it bothers him, but with how Taehyung kept pressed against him all day, he wonders how true that is. He likes the idea that Taehyung craves to be close to him the same way Jeongguk craves, but he really shouldn’t think about it. “But don’t fall asleep on my couch. You didn’t wash your face.”

Taehyung grins, but he pushes the blanket back. “You take it.”

Jeongguk takes the blanket and props it onto Taehyung’s lap. Taehyung doesn’t protest when Jeongguk covers him with it, and the tension seems to leave him even when Jeongguk remains closer than he had before.

It doesn’t take long before Taehyung’s sneaking half the blanket over Jeongguk’s lap like a compromise, and when the movie starts and Taehyung buries his face into the blanket rather than pay attention, Jeongguk doesn’t mention it.

Chapter Text

Okay, Jeongguk feels a bit like a bodyguard. He always meant it as a joke, but now he feels as if he’s playing the part. He stands against the wall by the classroom door with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes moving around the hallway. Not because he’s surveying it, but he’s sure that’s what it looks like. He’s just trying to give Taehyung a sense of privacy as he speaks to their professor.

There’s really no point in waiting for Taehyung, but so far, that’s what they’ve been doing. They usually stick together, though sometimes meeting the others during their breaks. They could go their separate ways, but Jeongguk doesn’t see the point.

A lot of people glance at him as they walk by. Some wolves, some not. He tries to smile at those he makes eye contact with because he doesn’t have a ‘grr’ face, but no one approaches him.

He only moves off his post when Taehyung hops out of the classroom and wraps a hand around his bicep. “Hey, you didn’t have to wait for me.”

Jeongguk shrugs. “Remember I’m going to Namjoon’s sculpting class. We’ll probably head over to the dorms together.”

“Mm. Jimin is kidnapping me,” Taehyung tells him as he lets his arm go. “He says I need to look ‘hot’.”

Done ,  Jeongguk thinks, eyes straying over Taehyung. He’s in jeans again today, and Jeongguk has half a mind to destroy every pair he owns because they’re ruining his life. “Good luck with that.”

Taehyung shoves into him. “My father is nervous. I got a long text about reputation and urges.” He rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he shows up at the dorms.”

Neither would Jeongguk, in all honesty. And he says as much.

Taehyung groans, shoulders sagging forward. “I told him you were coming with me and that you’ve already proudly committed to being a cockblock.”

Jeongguk can’t help but smile at that, even though he probably shouldn’t. “You didn’t.”

“No, I didn’t.” Taehyung laughs. “And you better not actually try and cockblock me.”

He wouldn’t mean to, but Jeongguk can’t make any promises. He doesn’t always know what his face is doing, and sometimes he gravitates towards Taehyung without realizing. Jimin says he growls a lot, but Jeongguk thinks he’s lying.

And there’s already a protest inside of him that he has to quiet and struggles to.

“Are you planning on…?” Jeongguk starts, not being able to form the words because they taste disgusting. “Looking to…?”

“No,” Taehyung says as if he’s offended by the idea. Jeongguk sure is. “No. I - no.”

“Well, if you’re trying to look hot, you should put a garbage bag over your head. Like a ghost. I hear it’s the latest trend.”

Taehyung shoves into him again before he picks up the pace and walks ahead of him, but Jeongguk doesn’t miss how he folds his lips together and fails to hide a smile. 

It undoes the knot in Jeongguk’s chest. It’s there so often that he isn’t aware of it until it loosens. He craves those moments, even if it’s his own brain that causes the knot to tighten.

“I’m not trying anything,” Taehyung clarifies when Jeongguk bumps into him to silently tell him that he can’t outrun him. Jeongguk also wants to tell him he doesn’t have to try anything. The looks he gets aren’t only because people recognize him. “This is Jimin’s idea.”

Jeongguk fidgets with the straps of his bag. He wants to ask Taehyung why, to see if Taehyung sought Jimin’s help the way he sought Seonghoon’s. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay far away.”

Even though they wait for each other, Jeongguk has been doing that. They don’t sit near each other in class, they haven’t watched any more movies. When they’re not in school or Seonghoon’s office, Jeongguk can be found at the restaurant and Taehyung with the Busan wolves. At home, it doesn’t feel like the time they’ve avoided each other, but they keep their distance. 

“Okay,” Taehyung says after a moment. He twists his lips together, brows furrowing as he steps ahead of Jeongguk. “Yeah, that’s probably better. I’ll see you there, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk bites his tongue, swallows down his irritated words though it felt like Taehyung was talking to himself more than to Jeongguk.

There’s about a dozen wolves that attend Namjoon’s sculpting class. Jeongguk’s surprised by how many they are, though his surprise turns to irritation quickly as Namjoon talks and the wolves whisper amongst themselves about the get together tonight instead of listening. 

When they glance Jeongguk’s way, caught, they close their mouths and focus on Namjoon at the front of the room. Namjoon isn’t saying much, but he gives Jeongguk an appreciative look before he betrays him. 

“Let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves. Jeongguk?”

Jeongguk settles back in his seat as all eyes turn to him. “Yep.” He turns to the person next to him, signaling them that they’re next. Namjoon laughs. 

“Boo Seungkwan,” the wolf next to him says. “Is there really a threat against the little alpha? Rumor has it that’s why Alpha Seonghoon actually allowed another wolf to leave his pack for once. Are your pockets really full of weapons? Heard you have a poison that can kill a wolf in seconds.”

What ? Jeongguk glances down to the pockets of his pants in concern like someone has planted such a poison in one without him realizing. “Excuse me?”

Namjoon waves his hands to the person on Seungkwan’s other side. “Continue with the introductions, will you? Go on.”

Seungkwan still looks at Jeongguk curiously, but Jeongguk pointedly looks away from him and towards the front of the room. He doesn’t actually dislike the rumors that have spread, though a few he’s caught wind of are quite ridiculous. Well, the whole thing is a bit ridiculous because Taehyung isn’t the only alpha here with his second, but Jeongguk’s a little smug about it. 

And he takes advantage of it when the whispers pick up when Namjoon is talking again but he glares and everyone remains quiet and listening for the rest of class. 

“Do you want to get something to eat before we meet up with the others? I have a feeling Jimin and Alpha Taehyung are going to be a while.” Namjoon flashes his phone to Jeongguk before he can leave, a small smile on his lips.

Jeongguk stops in his tracks, reaching for Namjoon’s phone without thinking about it. On it is a picture of Jimin and Taehyung. Well, Jungkook only knows it’s Taehyung because he knows Taehyung. He wears a hat so big that, paired with his mask, hides his entire face. The sweater he wears is thick and bulky, much too hot for the current weather. It reminds Jeongguk of the ones the elders wear in the winter, and paired with the lime green pants he wears, he looks absolutely ridiculous.

Behind him is Jimin, laughing as he takes the picture like he thinks so too.

“Your alpha said he was going to make Taehyung hot, but I didn’t realize he meant temperature wise,” Jeongguk mutters, not hiding his smile as he continues to look at the photo until the screen turns black. He’s disappointed when it does. 

“Jimin says he’s trying to dress like a ninja so no one knows who he is,” Namjoon tells him with a laugh. He gently touches the back of Jeongguk’s arm as a request to follow him. “Fitting. You know, with your poison pants.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes, grinning. “I don’t have poison in my pants.”

“I’d hope not. There’s not actually a threat against him, is there? It is a bit strange that Alpha Seonghoon has allowed another member of his pack to come into the city. I’ve heard your wolves aren’t often allowed to leave.”

Something protective rises inside of Jeongguk, but he swallows it down because Namjoon only asks curiously and he isn’t wrong . The wolves are allowed to leave, just not for a long stretch of time. Most wolves don’t want to, their roles have been established, or they think it would be nice, but nothing more than that.

Plenty of wolves have taken Jeongguk’s father up on what he’s offering because they want it for their future pup more so than for themselves. But Jeongguk pushes that thought out of his head because every time he thinks about his father’s attempts to bribe people to mate with him, it makes him sick.

“We’re allowed to leave, but there’s a lot to take care of at home. We have more elders and pups than any other pack,” Jeongguk explains. “And there’s no threat against Taehyung, but he is the only son to the current Alpha. Our pack is as large as it is, and sticks together, in case of threats.”

Namjoon nods as he speaks, his expression apologetic. “I didn’t mean offense. I only ask out of concern. If there was one, I’ll stand beside you in watching over him. Just watching though. Alpha Taehyung is comforted by touch, but I’d rather be on your good side.”

Jeongguk trips over his own feet. Or it feels like it at least, his body jerking forward before he whips his head around to Namjoon. He sounds like he’s trying to make a joke, though his face is twisted into a grimace.

“I can…” Namjoon moves his hands in front of himself like he’s shaping something with them. “I can get a feeling from wolves. Like light and dark auras. It’s a bit hard to explain. Alpha Taehyung is quite often dark, but he lightens when touched. You darken when it’s someone else doing the touching.” He laughs awkwardly, scratching at the back of his neck before he clears his throat. “Anyway. Glad there’s no threat.”

Jeongguk stares at the side of Namjoon’s head. He thinks he’s messing with him. A bit of that familiar panic sparks through him like it always does when he feels as if he’s been caught. “I don’t darken.”

Namjoon reaches out as if he’s going to touch Jeongguk’s shoulder. He moves it in a patting movement before seeming to decide against it and shoves his hand into his pocket instead. “There’s a barbeque place not far from here. S’pretty good. I’ll see if the others want to meet up.” 

Quietly, Jeongguk takes a step back to be out of view as he moves his eyes around and tries to see what Namjoon means. To see if he’s light or dark now. He’s heard of wolves that can do that, but he had thought it to be made up. 

Namjoon glances back at him, and if he catches onto what Jeongguk is doing, he doesn’t say. He only looks forward with quirked lips.

They do meet up with the others, and Jeongguk feels a bit like a third wheel. He’s starting to get used to how touchy Yoongi is, how he seems to reach for Hoseok like a habit and Hoseok moves into him like he can sense every time Yoongi is going to touch him.

Namjoon and Jin aren’t touchy, but they move around each other like they’re connected. Jeongguk wonders if auras can be seen, if invisible strings can be too because he’s sure there has to be some between Namjoon and Jin. When they look at each other, Jeongguk feels as if he’s intruding, and he wonders if others feel that way about him and Taehyung.

There’s often times they move close when they speak, and it feels private. Even when they’re around other people.

Jeongguk is a bit eager to get to the dorms and see Taehyung, though he promised he would keep his distance. He’s a little agitated, but he’s thankful Jimin texts Jin and Namjoon as often as he does because it eases his mind that they’re okay.

When they do finally get to the dorms, Jeongguk knows Taehyung isn’t there. He can practically feel his absence, though his eyes still scan every inch of every hallway and room. He glances at his phone, considering calling him when it’s past the time they were told the get together would start.

“This is Jeon Jeongguk, second to Alpha Kim Taehyung. This is Kim Minjae, third year. This is his dorm. And ah! Alpha Jeonghan! Come meet Jeon Jeongguk.”

Jin wraps an arm around Jeongguk’s back and drags him away from Yoongi and Hoseok and the wolf he had first been introducing him to. Namjoon speaks with someone else, but moves away from them like he’s being pulled along with the two of them.

“Hwaseong. Agriculture major. He’s starting an internship under Alpha Seonghoon this year,” Jin goes on as he reaches for the alpha. He has a friendly, pretty face. “Isn’t that right, Alpha?”

Alpha Jeonghan nods and grabs onto Jeongguk’s arm. “Your father actually had a hand in it. The agriculture department is quite small, if you can believe that. But Jongyul-nim is steadily helping it grow.”

Jeongguk presses his tongue into the roof of his mouth. “It’s nice to meet you.”

He feels it then. His heart pulses in his chest, his ears twitch back. He wonders if his nostrils flare because Jeonghan’s eyes drop to it, but overall, his body settles.

And then the agitation returns only seconds later because Jeongguk tells himself not to look and not to move the way he wants to. He tells himself just to be settled by the fact that Taehyung has arrived and is near.

But Jeongguk has his neck twisting, eyes moving away from Jeonghan before he can even stop himself. 

Taehyung is wearing the enemiest enemy of pants that Jeongguk has ever seen. They’re tighter than any of the others he’s worn, and he’s paired it with this loose shirt that’s tucked in and stretched, revealing more chest than Jeongguk is used to seeing. 

He cocks his head when their eyes meet, and Jeongguk looks away because he wants to go over there and press his face into Taehyung’s neck until he only smells like him.

There’s so many wolves here. He’s sure anyone here is under Seonghoon’s jurisdiction, but that isn’t the only reason it puts him on edge. He’s spent years watching wolves try to talk up Taehyung, to get him interested in seeing them as a mate, and it’s always irritated him but he had thought Taehyung would be with Seokmin.

Now, he knows that’s not the case, and things have changed. Taehyung told him to give his wolf over to someone else to make it easier, and there’s plenty of wolves here that they could benefit creating unions with and Taehyung looks powerful and strong and -

“I’m trying to get Jeongguk here to join our cause,” Jin says, his hand moving up to Jeongguk’s neck to call him back. “Which Alpha Seonghoon was not against, so I think we’re wearing on him.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes and pats Jin on the chest. “I told you. He agrees with us. He’s not like the others. He shut down my father’s proposal for a union because it’s his son’s choice. Tell me another alpha who has done that? It would be great to have you on our team, Jeongguk-ssi, if you decide to join.”

It’s a problem. Jeongguk knows it is, and he is genuinely trying to work on it. He’s succeeded, or at least he thought he did, for quite a few years. He swallowed everything down and forced a smile with Seokmin even though Taehyung’s scent covered him. He’s kept his claws hidden when unfamiliar wolves would come to their home and try to get to know Taehyung. He’d keep a straight face when others approached him about their interest in Taehyung, telling them apologetically that Taehyung isn’t interested even if Jeongguk had no idea if he was or could be.

But he made the mistake of deciding he didn’t care, letting his wolf loose, and he’s been trying to reel it back in since.

“Alpha Seonghoon said that?”

Jin huffs out under his breath, and it sounds amused. Jeonghan raises his brows, his mouth parting for a moment before he nods. “My father was hoping for a union between my youngest sister and the future alpha.”

Jeongguk doesn’t mean to smile, but his lips stretch back. He might just go to Alpha Seonghoon’s apartment after this and fist bump the heck out of him though he wishes he knew this already. If Taehyung didn’t tell him because he didn’t know either, then he also wishes Alpha Seonghoon would let Taehyung in on this too. “Ah, I see.”

“Our pack is quite large. It would be a great merge,” Jeonghan explains. “But if it happens, it happens. Most of our wolves are still unmated, if you’d -”

“He’s spoken for,” Jin interrupts as he claps a hand to Jeongguk’s chest, startling him. “I have a few other people I’d like Jeongguk to meet, if you’d excuse us, Alpha. I’ll catch you tomorrow.”

As relieved as Jeongguk is that Jin interrupted, a bit of that panic slips through like it always does. Like he’s been caught, like he’s been ripped open. There’s an easy smile on Jin’s face as he gently guides them away from the alpha, his hand still on Jeongguk’s shoulder. He must feel how tense it is.

“I’m not spoken for.”

Jin glances at him, his eyebrows lifting. For a moment, Jeongguk thinks he’s going to argue this, or maybe he’s just paranoid, but he braces himself for it. “Well, I figured you didn’t want to get pulled into that awkward conversation. While Alpha Jeonghan doesn’t wish for unions to be forced, he’s also in charge of taking care of his pack. Current and future. He’s very interested in merging with yours. I’m sure Joshua, his second, is already on Taehyung, trying to gain his fancy.”

Jin’s fingers tighten on him as soon as Jeongguk’s head moves, but he’s lost sight of Taehyung. He can still feel him near, but he can’t see him amongst the wolves. His nostrils flare, but there’s too many scents around him.

“Why did you want me to meet him then?” Jeongguk asks, ignoring the part of him that wants to step away from Jin and find Taehyung to make sure this Joshua person isn’t bothering him. 

“I figured getting it over with now so he won’t bother you for the rest of the night,” Jin explains. “What do you want to drink?”

He leads them down a small staircase which opens up to a large, communal kitchen. There’s even more wolves here, the smell of food and alcohol strong in the air. It tickles Jeongguk’s nose, and he’s about to rub it when he catches Taehyung’s sweet scent.

The sight of him relaxes Jeongguk. He’s with Jimin and Namjoon, his nose wrinkled as he sniffs at a cup in his hand. His eyes are on Jimin, who looks a second away from bursting out in laughter.

“Ah, just water,” Jeongguk finally says when Jin moves his head in his line of eyesight and gives him a questioning look. “And thanks for that, by the way. I should be looking for a mate, but it is…awkward.”

Jin nudges against him. “And is it the same for you? Your alpha allowing you to choose?”

Jeongguk watches Taehyung tentatively sip at his cup. Well, he looks as if he’s sticking his tongue in rather than taking a sip, his face twisting once again, and it’s kind of cute. “Uh, yes. I asked him to choose for me, but he won’t.”

He forces himself to look away from Taehyung when Taehyung glances in his direction. He turns to Jin and gives him his full attention, watching him pour something strong smelling into one cup and sliding a bottle of water towards Jeongguk. 

“I asked not to be mated,” Jin confesses. His face doesn’t twist when he sips his drink, but he smacks his lips a few times before offering the cup to Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk could tell Jin that he said the same. That he wants the same, kind of. If his guess is right, and there’s something going on between him, Jimin, and Namjoon, it could be safe to tell Jin. It might be nice to tell someone else, and Jeongguk has felt the pull of a connection to Jin from the moment they met. They share blood, and maybe they share this.

But Jeongguk only nods and waves a hand at the drink. “No, thank you. The smell hurts my nose.”

“You can go to your alpha.” Jin laughs as he glances behind him at the others. “You look antsy.”

Jeongguk relaxes his shoulders and sips at his water to give himself a moment. As much as he would like to go to Taehyung, he can’t. “Everyone here is in a pack that’s sworn allegiance to Alpha Seonghoon, but is there anyone…” He doesn’t know how to ask this. “Anyone that’s an, uh, possible concern?” 

Jin shakes his head without hesitation. “No. The wolves get together to strengthen bonds across packs. Build friendships, connections, find mates for members of their pack. Everyone will want to be on Taehyung’s good side, to earn his favor. You might want to drink something to relax because a lot of wolves are going to chat up Taehyung, and the muscle in your neck already looks a second away from cramping.”

Worried, Jeongguk touches the side of his throat but he realizes Jin is exaggerating a second later when he laughs. “He just… he just gets uncomfortable when a lot of attention is on him sometimes.”

Jin shakes his head, still laughing, but he doesn’t comment. He only grabs a glass bottle containing something red that he hands Jeongguk. “Sweet, not strong. You’ll like it.”

While Jin had been exaggerating about Jeongguk’s neck muscle, he sure wasn’t exaggerating about how many wolves would try to chat up Taehyung. Jeongguk has lost count at this point, and he can’t even pretend that he isn’t paying attention. Some just introduce themselves, some linger, and one particular wolf seems keen on keeping Taehyung’s attention on him.

It’s annoying, but Jeongguk keeps his distance and sips at the red drink that isn’t too strong but incredibly sweet. He sips slowly because he’s never had alcohol before, and he’s a bit worried about the effect on him. Taehyung also sips at his own cup, even though his face twists every time. If Jimin isn’t by his side, then it’s Namjoon, or Jin, or Yoongi, or Hoseok. Someone is always by him, rotating out, and it should relax Jeongguk, but that damn wolf won’t leave Taehyung’s side. He keeps touching his arm, and there’s a flirty smile on his face every time he does it.

Worse, the wolf makes Taehyung laugh. The kind of laugh where Taehyung attempts to hide his face behind his hand, his palm pressing beneath his chin. He looks completely relaxed too, which Jeongguk doesn’t want to ruin, so he looks away every time Taehyung’s gaze strays his way. 

Jeongguk won’t cockblock. 

He wants to cockblock so freaking bad.

“If I tell you a secret, will you tell me one in turn?”

Jeongguk glances over Jimin. His face is pink. He taps on Jeongguk’s chest as he leans in close to be heard over the rumble of noise around them. “Probably not.”

The grin on Jimin’s face only grows. “I’m really good at keeping secrets.”

“I don’t have any.” Jeongguk laughs lightly as Jimin rubs their shoulders together before slinging an arm around his shoulders. “How is your mate okay with how often you scent other wolves?”

“Alpha thing,” Jimin murmurs, pulling away from him. “It’s an instinct of mine to comfort others. It doesn’t mean the same.”

Jeongguk nods at that. “Jin doesn’t seem like the kind of wolf that needs to be comforted that much.”

Jimin jerks, a loud laugh tumbling from his lips. He pushes a hand into Jeongguk like it’s a retaliation. Embarrassment immediately swells inside of Jeongguk because he hadn’t meant to say that, and he wants to apologize, but Jimin doesn’t look as panicked as he would be. Not even close.

“You’re the last person to judge someone for claiming,” Jimin huffs, head shaking. “Don’t think I forgot how quickly you ripped off your clothes to show off that little bite mark of yours.”

The embarrassment inside of Jeongguk grows, but that smug part he tries to swallow down is loud. He hadn’t meant to do that either, but there was so much pride bursting inside of him when Taehyung’s mark was on his throat. As scary as it was, Jeongguk also wanted to show it off. He wanted others to see it. It drove him crazy every time Taehyung looked at it, touched it. He doesn’t think Taehyung even knows how often he stared at the mark on his throat with a look in his eye that made Jeongguk feel like he was being claimed all over again. 

“Which is why I’m surprised that you’re over here,” Jimin goes on, squeezing an arm around Jeongguk. “I’m incredibly impressed by your control. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Jeongguk glances towards Taehyung again. He has Hoseok beside him, but they’re talking to different people. The wolf has a hand on Taehyung’s elbow, and they’re close. Taehyung says something, and the wolf throws his head back like Taehyung’s saying the funniest thing he’s ever heard.

He isn’t that funny.

Okay, he is. But Jeongguk is annoyed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jimin takes the now warm drink from Jeongguk’s hand. “Joshua’s a determined wolf, and very charming.”

“Joshua? Alpha Jeonghan’s second?” Jeongguk shakes his head at himself and mentally rolls his eyes. “I mean, it doesn’t bother me any. Why would it? Taehyung attracts a lot of attention. Have you seen him? He’s gorgeous. And powerful.”

Jimin laughs again, but this time, his smile shifts into something a lot softer, warmer. “I’m just saying. I know how hard it is. I wouldn’t be able to sit still if another wolf were touching Jin or Namjoon like that.”

Jeongguk rips his gaze away from Taehyung and the other wolf. He’s unable to keep the look of shock off of his face, he’s sure, but he tries. “What?”

“I’ll go save him for you,” Jimin murmurs, patting Jeongguk’s chest once more. “I’ll be discreet, don’t worry.”

He isn’t worried. 

He’s a little worried. 

Jimin isn’t very discreet. He squeezes himself between Taehyung and Joshua, presses his hand into Taehyung’s chest and whispers something to him that has Taehyung’s eyes immediately flying up to meet Jeongguk’s.

Jeongguk looks away, moving his hand up towards his mouth like a habit before he realizes he no longer has something to sip at. He excuses himself from Yoongi, who turns to him like he’s going to say something, and busies himself in one of the coolers for a lot longer than he needs to.

He decides on another red drink, hoping it’s still sweet. The cold glass feels nice on his palm, and when he considers planting it against his throat, he realizes how hot he suddenly feels. 

Jimin isn’t successful, he finds once he swallows everything down and forces himself to act normal. Jimin is chatting with Joshua vibrantly, hands moving in front of himself.

Beside him, Taehyung crosses his arms and sends a glare Jeongguk’s way. 

Turning away, Jeongguk takes a sip of his sweet drink and keeps his promise to stay away.

“Yoongi-ssi, how’s it going at the restaurant?”

At some point, Jeongguk loses sight of Taehyung. He did well distracting himself with the others. He only glanced across the room a few times to find Taehyung still near Joshua, though sometimes interrupted by someone new.

Jimin gives up with an apologetic smile, but Jeongguk makes a gesture that he hopes shows he could care less. He’s not quite sure what to do with Jimin thinking he’s bothered at all, but he’s trying not to think about that either. 

“I’m gonna step outside,” Jeongguk says to Hoseok because he’s the closest to him. “Need fresh air.”

Hoseok looks over him in concern, but nods. “If you’re tired, you can head to our place. It isn’t too far from here.”

He rattles off his address, but Jeongguk shakes his head before he can finish. There’s just a lot of scents, he’s very warm, and he needs to breathe. 

The idea of going home is nice, though. He wonders if Taehyung would leave with him if he asked, though he doesn’t want to accidentally worry him. If he’ll even worry, he doesn’t know, but he doesn’t want to take that chance. 

Jeongguk twists his head from side to side, cracking his neck and trying to throw that thought out of his head. He doesn’t like when his brain goes there because he spirals, and he really shouldn’t.

That’s when he stops caring. Or cares too much? He isn’t sure, but he usually fucks up then. 

“Where are you going?”

Jeongguk has his body halfway through the door to the stairwell when he stops. His heart thuds up into his throat as he spots Taehyung moving down the stairs after him.

“Does it matter?”

Taehyung’s face is glowing despite the fact he’s glaring at him like he has any reason to be annoyed. His cheeks are pink and Jeongguk badly wants to cup them with his hands. “Yes, it matters.”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I’m just getting some air.”

For some reason, Taehyung follows him out. “I thought maybe you were leaving.”

“Does it matter?” Jeongguk repeats. He wants to be petty. It rises up inside of him. “I said I’d stay away from you. You agreed it was a good idea.”

Taehyung’s fingers tighten, but he shoves his hands beneath his armpits. “Well, I changed my mind.” 

What ? Jeongguk shakes his head before he starts to walk off, but he really didn’t intend to leave. He has nowhere to go if he doesn’t, other than back inside. “You can’t change your mind.” 

“Well, I did,” Taehyung snaps, but his tone softens as he waves his hands out in front of himself. “I - you’re not - Jeongguk. I’m trying to -”

Jeongguk calms as Taehyung’s frustration grows. He approaches without meaning to and gently grabs the hands he’s beating the air with because Namjoon said Taehyung lightens when touched, and somewhere deep down, Jeongguk thinks he already knew this. 

Slowly, Taehyung breathes in and then gives Jeongguk a glare that would make any alpha want to sink to his knees.

“I know him,” Taehyung finally says, as if he can tell the reason Jeongguk so desperately needs to be outside. “His alpha has tried to merge packs with us, and it would be a good idea, honestly. So I was trying… I don’t know what I was trying, but you’ve been glaring at me all night and it’s -” 

Taehyung jerks their hands, but Jeongguk doesn’t let go until Taehyung is close to him and it becomes unbearable to touch him and breathe him in at the same time.

“You have to stop looking at me like that.”

Jeongguk quirks a brow. “I haven’t been looking at you.”

With their clasped hands, Taehyung swats Jeongguk’s hips and keeps them resting there. It’s an awkward angle for his own arms, but Jeongguk won’t move. He settles at having Taehyung close, to himself.

“Thought you were riding the honesty train lately,” Taehyung jokes, his fingers wiggling like he wants them to be free but Jeongguk doesn’t want to let him go. “It’s distracting me.”

At that, Jeongguk shouldn’t feel pleased but he does. He can’t help it. “I guess that means you’re the one looking then.” 

Taehyung parts his lips a few times before he snaps them closed, annoyance flashing across his face. Jeongguk can’t help his grin, that smug feeling inside of him growing because Taehyung always looks annoyed when Jeongguk is right.

“It’s hard not to when you’re glaring at everyone I talk to like they’re the enemy.”

Jeongguk scoffs at that. “I don’t care about who you talk to, Taehyung. Even though, you’re the one that said you wouldn’t try anything at all,” he snaps, and then regrets it because he shouldn’t care. He says it like an accusation but Taehyung isn’t doing anything wrong, even though it feels incredibly wrong. 

He tries to distract Taehyung from that comment when anger crosses his face, and Jeongguk knows Taehyung is going to snap back, but he fails. “The only enemy I have are those jeans.”

Shit.

Jeongguk curls his hand into a fist to fight the urge to face palm himself. He keeps his gaze steady because it’s out there , he said it, and he has to stick with it.

It’s just hard to keep it up when Taehyung just stares at him instead of saying anything. Different emotions cross over his face from the anger to confused to understanding to amused . 

“Excuse me?”

Jeongguk sighs. Like Taehyung doesn’t know what he means. He said Jimin was making him look hot, and he never wears pants so tight. “You apparently changed wardrobes with the devil.”

Taehyung presses his lips together and even hides his mouth behind his fingers, but neither helps hide the fact that he’s about to laugh. “They’re just pants. Quite uncomfortable ones at that.”

This time, Jeongguk catches himself. He almost makes a teasing remark about taking them off then, but that’s too far. He can’t come back from that one because then he’ll start thinking about it.

He’s thinking about it.

“Yeah…well.” Jeongguk waves a hand at him. He needs to go back inside because he thinks it would be cooler than it suddenly feels out here. “Are you coming?”

Taehyung doesn’t move. He stands there with his arms folded and head tilted and Jeongguk can practically see the wheels moving in his head. 

“Look, I don’t mean to, alright? I look away when I realize my eyes are on you and because that wolf is so fucking handsy.” Jeongguk stops himself and wipes at his mouth but that doesn’t erase his words like he wishes it would. “Whatever. I’ll go find someone to chat up so you can see that it isn’t so easy.”

Taehyung’s jaw locks. 

“That’s what you want anyway, right?” Jeongguk challenges. “And Jin told me that’s what these things are for, so I’m sure -”

“Don’t.”

Jeongguk presses his lips together and breathes out hard through his nose. His heart skips, but he doesn’t particularly enjoy anything about this situation they’re in. 

“I never said it was easy,” Taehyung whispers angrily. 

“What do you want from me then? Why did you come out here? And be consistent because you’re telling me to stay away and give my wolf away and that you’ve changed your mind and ‘don’t .’ So -“

“I actually came out for a very stupid reason,” Taehyung spits and Jeongguk hates how he tightens his arms around himself. “Because the way you’ve been looking at me all night has my skin on fire . And I know it isn’t easy because I’ve been trying my damn hardest to not be aware of you, but I couldn’t so I decided fuck it.” 

Jeongguk stills. “What?”

“But you reminded me I can’t do that so I reversed what I was going to say and asked you to stop looking at me instead.”

He probably shouldn’t ask, but he does. Because Jeongguk craves to know even if being honest bites him in the ass. “What were you going to say?”

Mockingly, Taehyung replies, “Does it matter?”

He doesn’t have a guess to know whether or not it matters, but he still wants to nod because he wants to know. “I guess not.”

Taehyung nods. He kicks his feet and toes into the ground, his head down. He remains quiet and Jeongguk waits, he just doesn’t know what he’s waiting for.

“Do you want to go home?” Taehyung finally asks. “I’m worn out.”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. He moves away from the door but keeps himself from grabbing onto Taehyung. A habit he’s developed without realizing. “You could have just said that from the beginning and we could have avoided this whole conversation.”

Taehyung glares at him, but there’s a glint in his eyes. He pushes Jeongguk aside, but winds their arms together and Jeongguk settles more than he had when Taehyung first appeared.

“If it means anything, you did well. I know you don’t like this part of it all, but you came off like you did.”

Taehyung tugs on him gently, a small smile on his face. “I was trying to get their interest in me.”

“Yeah, well -“

“Since half of the people who introduced themselves are from packs that have proposed a union with you ,” Taehyung admits. “Including Joshua. It wouldn’t have been as easy to be so friendly if it were them chatting you up instead of me.”

Amusement swells inside of Jeongguk. “Is that what had your skin on fire then?” 

“Shut up,” Taehyung grumbles. “I still don’t want to join the honesty train. I’m just saying. So no need to glare at him anymore.”

“I told you, it was the pants,” Jeongguk says, tightening his arm in fear that Taehyung will let go, but he doesn’t.

“You’re such a liar.”

It isn’t a lie, not completely, but Jeongguk shrugs. “I’ve always had to be. Maybe that’s why the honesty train is so tempting to hop on now.”

At that, Taehyung doesn’t respond, but Jeongguk can feel his gaze on the side of his face. 

Jeongguk does prefer to be home, but as soon as they step inside, he wants to walk back out and keep walking side by side with Taehyung beneath the glow of the street lights and the sky that is too dark to see.

He doesn’t want to part ways and pretend to sleep while Taehyung hides in his room. If they do, he’ll probably spend a majority of the night beating himself up for leaving the get together and not being more enthusiastic about meeting new wolves, while also trying hard not to think about Taehyung in his tight pants. 

“I’m going to make some ramen,” Jeongguk announces a little too firmly. “Um, do you want some?”

Taehyung nods, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s barely said anything on their way home, but Jeongguk hasn’t quite contributed to the conversation either. He’s been in his head, berating himself for not only how annoyed tonight has made him but also for how content he was with Taehyung walking so close to him that their arms kept brushing. 

“I still have the aftertaste of that sweet drink, though it’s been awhile.” Jeongguk tuts his tongue a few times, trying to rid the silence. “It was pretty good, but whatever you were drinking? Looked like it tasted bad.”

“It really did, and my head started to swim so I was only pretending to drink from it for most of the night.”

“You could have just tossed it out.”

Taehyung shrugs. “You were right, you know, about Jimin, Namjoon, and Jin. When Jimin was showing me the pictures he took today, he swiped a little too far and I caught a glimpse of a quite…lewd photo of them together.”

Surprise hits him so hard that Jeongguk chokes on nothing. He tries to clear his throat, face twisting as Taehyung’s own brightens.

“Yeah, dick out and all.” 

Jeongguk bangs on his chest. “I wonder if size runs in the family. If so…lucky Jimin and Namjoon.”

He just doesn’t know what to say to that, but that probably wasn’t it.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “It was Jimin’s.”

The water isn’t yet boiling, but Jeongguk feels like it is when he turns around and stands over it. 

“Jin was just there, you know…”

“I don’t want to know.”

Taehyung laughs quietly. “Jimin wasn’t even worried when I saw. He just apologized and went back to our photos. He was really embarrassed, but still.”

The water isn’t boiling fast enough, and it’s going to start being weird if Jeongguk keeps hovering over it so he turns to face Taehyung. He wonders if Jimin implied it to him because Taehyung reacted kindly. That would be a lot better than Jeongguk’s first assumption that Jimin told him to imply they shared something in common. 

“He probably trusts you. What did you, uh, say?”

Taehyung groans, eyes squeezing closed. “I meant to say that it was okay, but I was also embarrassed so I said, ‘it’s nice.’”

Jeongguk can’t help his laugh, which only grows when Taehyung glares at him. 

“It’s not funny. He thought I meant his dick .”

“I know. That’s why it’s funny.”

Taehyung shoves into him to stand over the pot like he has the same idea in mind that Jeongguk had. “He’s under the impression there’s something going on between us. That’s another reason I wanted to do well tonight. So he would believe me when I say there isn’t. I really have no interest in mating, Jeongguk, you know that.”

Shit, shit, shit. That isn’t good. Jeongguk was hoping that wasn’t the case. But he can’t be that surprised because Jimin literally called him out, implying the same. If Jimin is with his second, it may be safe for him to know about the two of them, but Jeongguk has only known the other wolves for a handful of weeks. That’s not enough time to trust someone so much.

Hell, neither Jeongguk nor Taehyung have ever talked about it with the people they’re closest to back home. He sometimes thinks his mother suspects something, because when he was young he would ask a lot of questions because he didn’t understand why it was so wrong. But she’s never said anything, and Jeongguk isn’t going to either. 

He shifts awkwardly and focuses on Taehyung’s shoulder to keep his expression controlled. “Yeah, well, you were believable.”

“I don’t know,” Taehyung murmurs thoughtfully. He dips a spoon into the warm water and stirs it aimlessly. “I think he was trying to cockblock on your behalf.”

At that, Jeongguk smiles, but there’s a spark of guilt inside of him that makes it easy to bite it down when Taehyung looks at him. “I didn’t ask him to.”

“I figured.” Taehyung sighs and turns to him, just looking at him. His hand moves and retreats before he tentatively circles his fingers around Jeongguk’s wrist. “I didn’t think you’d actually stay away from me.”

“You said it would be a good idea. And - well, I have been. I’ve been trying to.”

Taehyung presses his thumb into his skin. “I know. I hate it.”

He whispers it, the words coming out with his breath. Jeongguk’s eyes jerk upwards, taking in as much of Taehyung’s face he can see while he looks down and his bangs hide most of him. “You’re the one hiding in your room.”

“I know,” Taehyung says, a bit harsher than before but he rolls his eyes and his shoulders sag. “You hide at the restaurant.”

“I know.”

Taehyung grabs his arm fully, wrapping his palm around him. He looks up at him then, his nose pinched. “This is all stupid. Feels wrong.”

“Yeah, but -”

“I know. I know. But I felt disloyal. I always have. When my father used to talk about wolves I could possibly mate with and I’d have to agree with him on qualities or benefits, I’d feel sick with it.”

He lets Jeongguk go and moves away from him then. Jeongguk doesn’t turn to follow his movements, a heaviness building in his chest that has him turning back to the pot. There’s no point. Taehyung will go to his room and stay there, and then Jeongguk will pretend he’s sleeping in the morning before Taehyung leaves. 

And he feels his body curling in shame because he feels bad. He wants to hide it from Taehyung.

He didn’t know Taehyung had been going through that. It surprises him because for many years, Jeongguk thought he was alone in these feelings, both the ones for Taehyung and the conflict that comes from those, but he’s starting to learn that that isn’t the case. 

“When I followed you out earlier, I was going to say that I don’t want you to stay away from me. I want you on me as much as possible. I wanted to show you I’m yours so you could relax.”

Taehyung doesn’t say it as angrily and panicked as he had the last time they were being honest. He says it softly, his head leaning to the side to rest against the doorframe when Jeongguk jerks around to look at him.

Fuck. Jeongguk grits his teeth to compose himself. I’m yours rings so loudly in his head, lights him up inside. He feels like he can’t breathe for a second, but thankfully, Taehyung quickly keeps speaking so he has a moment. 

“But that would have been dumb.”

Jeongguk nods. It would have been, but he still wants to move closer now. Heat flares through him, a craving erupting inside of him to do just that. One that’s been brewing all night but he’s been fighting it better than he usually does.

“And you were looking at me all night like you wanted that too,” Taehyung goes on. He fiddles with the bottom of his shirt, and Jeongguk wants to replace his hands and do it for him. Feel the material and pull it from those pants he hates. “But you stayed away.”

“You said it was a good idea.”

Taehyung looks down at his hands. “I don’t want you to.”

Jeongguk moves. He closes the distance between them and gets close, crowding into Taehyung’s space to take his hands away from the material before he destroys it. “It is dumb.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung looks up, and he’s close but he doesn’t move back. Instead, his fingers nudge into Jeongguk’s abdomen until it’s his shirt they’re twisting into. “But I’m more relaxed with you near me now.”

Slowly, to give Taehyung a chance to tell him to stop, Jeongguk leans in. He doesn’t press into his skin but just nears his throat, wanting to feel his heartbeat and breathe him in.  “You’re not relaxed.”

His heartbeat is loud. If Jeongguk did press into his skin, he’d probably be able to feel how hard it’s thudding. He tests his theory, touching the other side of Taehyung’s throat with the back of his fingers. 

Taehyung exhales, his fingers tightening in Jeongguk’s shirt. “It was easier when I thought I hated you and could avoid you. When I wanted to. You messed that up.”

It doesn’t sound as accusatory as it should, or as maybe Taehyung means it. Jeongguk can’t tell. 

“I told you I always screw up when it comes to you,” Jeongguk admits. He doesn’t mean to get even closer, but as he speaks his lips brush over Taehyung’s skin, and he can almost taste the sweat there. “I’m a liar, but I was being honest then.”

He’s probably screwing up now, and he’ll be angry and loaded with guilt later. It’ll be harder, later. Always harder, but Jeongguk is pulled and held tight. His wolf howls and relaxes for the first time in weeks because he can breathe Taehyung in so intimately and feel his warmth against him. He nuzzles his nose into Taehyung’s skin because he’s been unsettled that Taehyung hasn’t been smelling like him. 

Taehyung hasn’t been smelling like his .

“I don’t like… being honest,” Taehyung whispers, his head turning so Jeongguk can feel his mouth against his head. “But I hate this even more.” 

Taehyung moves his hand to his nape, and Jeongguk moves with him. He lifts his head and takes advantage of the fact that Taehyung’s hands are no longer in the way of pressing into him. Taehyung may not say it out right, but Jeongguk has a feeling he doesn’t mean he hates this . Or maybe he does, but Jeongguk knows in the moment, what Taehyung is moving for.

He sighs when Taehyung’s hand slips to the side of his throat and holds him as he tilts his head. Taehyung’s breath against his skin tickles, but it sends a whirlwind through him that grows when Taehyung growls.

His teeth never come, but Jeongguk wants them. Even if he knows Taehyung would leave a mark that lasts a long time because he feels it. Marks aren’t permanent but so much want comes from Taehyung, that Jeongguk believes it could be possible. It wouldn’t just be an exaggeration, but he’d be able to leave one that stays with Jeongguk.

And Jeongguk wants that.

“This is so -”

Jeongguk grabs onto Taehyung’s hands but he doesn’t move away. He only pulls his head back and looks at Jeongguk with heavy, conflicted eyes.

“I don’t want you to -” Taehyung struggles, and Jeongguk almost pulls away from him before he continues. “I’m your only alpha.”

Yes . Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to nod, though he’s not sure why Taehyung is saying it. That’s never been a question, or at least, Jeongguk had done his damnedest to make sure Taehyung knew that if he did question it.

“I won’t be a good alpha to you,” Taehyung whispers and presses their hands against Jeongguk’s cheek. “I’ll keep doing this.”

“You’re the only alpha I want,” Jeongguk tells him, tilting into his touch like a promise. “I’ll keep doing this too. I told you giving my wolf to someone else isn’t going to work.”

Taehyung sucks his bottom lip into his mouth, his fingers turning into a fist. That conflicted feeling on his face grows worse and shines in his eyes. Jeongguk wants to comfort him, wants to do a lot of things.

“I don’t want you to,” Taehyung says. “I want you all to myself, and I don’t want to care anymore what people think about that.”

There’s a fire bursting inside of Jeongguk, and he wants to tell Taehyung that he can. That he does. Even if last time it backfired on him, but before he can, Taehyung moves his hands away from him. 

“The water is boiling. Just - ignore me. I shouldn’t be saying this. This is so fucking stupid.”

Jeongguk’s heart pounds in his chest. He doesn’t want to care anymore either, but it isn’t that easy. He will. Even if he says fuck it, and part of him is starting to believe that won’t be enough for him to be exiled, he still will worry outside of these moments.

And because it won’t change anything even if their alpha is okay with it enough to keep Jeongguk in the pack. Taehyung will still have to mate with someone and continue on his line.

It won’t change anything, but Jeongguk’s wolf doesn’t quite care right now. In this moment, Jeongguk doesn’t care. His body is on fire, and Taehyung wants him. Taehyung’s being the most honest with him, and Jeongguk has always wanted to give him what he asks for. Even if it’s shit he hates like finding another mate or staying away.

And now he’s frustrated, and it’s dumb but Jeongguk doesn’t care because he wants to hear more, feel more. He wants to give Taehyung what he wants because he needs it too. 

Jeongguk clicks off the burner and strides back to Taehyung. He doesn’t give him a moment before he has his body fitted against his, his palms brushing over Taehyung’s jaw.

“You’re my alpha,” Jeongguk tells him, “Taehyung, mine, alpha .” 

One of them growls. It’s probably the both of them because Jeongguk hears it but he doesn’t feel it in his throat, only on his mouth as he leans in.

He gets bared teeth first. Taehyung grabs onto his forearms, and his grip is as bruising as his own. But he pulls him closer even though there’s no room between them instead of pushing Jeongguk away, and that’s all that matters.

Taehyung bites him before he can mold their lips together. His teeth come down hard onto Jeongguk’s bottom lip before he pulls it roughly, another growl sounding from him. But when he lets him go and parts his lips, Jeongguk kisses him properly.

He’s thought about this a lot. Not only the memories of the times that they have, moments he can’t remember as well with time. But often. So often . Jeongguk is constantly catching himself looking at Taehyung’s mouth, imagining quieting him with his own.

Each scenario where they kiss for the first time again is different. They kissed softly in his head, nervously, passionately. But this hurts, and not just because of how roughly their mouths move against each other.

Each breath from Taehyung, each press of his mouth, rips at Jeongguk’s chest. But he doesn’t stop because he’s savoring it, and Taehyung is pushing and kissing him back just as fervorously.

So much heat radiates from his body, but Jeongguk presses into him, glues him to the wall. Taehyung’s hands move to his biceps, to his shoulders, to his neck. His legs part to fit him between, and Jeongguk can’t help the groan that rumbles from him because it gives him the sense of being even closer.

“You taste sweet,” Taehyung pants against the corner of his mouth, his palm cupping Jeongguk’s jaw so he can thumb at the other side. He kisses him again, mouth moving across his skin until Jeongguk can feel his hot breath against his jaw. “So sweet.”

Jeongguk finds his mouth again when Taehyung gets too close to his throat. He has to care about that, but with how his mouth throbs, he’s sure Taehyung left a bruise anyway.

This time, he kisses slower. He slides a hand to the back of Taehyung’s neck and holds him there as he kisses him hard and bites him back. Taehyung retaliates with a growl and a hand grabbing roughly at his back, pulling at his shirt and skin so the much cooler air touches his spine.

It hurts, but Jeongguk wants it more than the other kind of ache in his chest. He wants Taehyung, and he’s hard . He knows Taehyung must be able to feel him, but that’s not a step Jeongguk can take first. He doesn’t know how to, doesn’t know if he has the courage to, but he’s okay with just this. He’s in love with just this.

His father’s voice doesn’t enter his mind.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung murmurs, his voice deep and rough. He rubs his palm over Jeongguk’s sore skin, his lips soft against his cheek. “We can’t do this.”

Jeongguk nods, but he doesn’t move away. He doesn’t want to. He kisses Taehyung again, this time gently. He tastes blood, and he’s sure it’s his own, but he swipes his tongue over Taehyung’s lips apologetically in case it isn’t. 

Despite Taehyung’s words, his fingers knot into Jeongguk’s hair and keep him in place when he finally attempts to move away. He exhales shakily, but doesn’t let him go so they stay like that, the only space between them filled with their shared breaths.

Part of Jeongguk doesn’t have the courage to fully pull away and look Taehyung in the eye. He’s afraid of hurt and guilt, though he knows this time, there will be no regret. 

“We should start the ramen again.” Taehyung breathes heavily, but still doesn’t let him go. He even moves his other hand to Jeongguk’s spine and holds him that way too. His hand is burning on Jeongguk’s bare skin. “And pretend this didn’t happen.”

That’s impossible, but Jeongguk only nods and kisses Taehyung again.

And without pause, like he knew it was coming, Taehyung kisses him back.

Taehyung’s mouth is bruised and swollen. Jeongguk drags his thumb over the shape of it and watches himself do it. He can feel Taehyung watching him , but he doesn’t look away.

His own mouth throbs, but his entire body feels like it is too. He’s painfully hard, but he ignores it. Only moving his hips back when his cock jerks because he really doesn’t want to come in his briefs, rutting against Taehyung foolishly.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung whispers, his voice hoarse. His fingers push past Jeongguk’s shirt collar as he tugs the material down over his shoulder. He moves away then, though stays close as he tentatively touches Jeongguk's skin. 

A shiver runs down Jeongguk’s spine when Taehyung kisses him there. And then his neck. He breathes heavily against him, and Jeongguk lets him for only a moment. When Taehyung’s hand slides to the front of his throat, Jeongguk twists around to face him.

It isn’t as awkward as it should be, and for that, Jeongguk is grateful. He takes Taehyung’s hands and leads him out of the kitchen, sure that his back must be sore too from how hard Jeongguk had pressed him against the wall and kept him there. He expects Taehyung to say goodnight and leave him alone, but he holds onto Jeongguk’s hand and follows him.

It gets a little awkward when he starts to sit, but then Taehyung is there, on him, with his thighs around his own and his fingers back to his neck.

Jeongguk welcomes him, though he isn’t sure where to put his hands. He decides to rest them at his hips, but changes his mind a second later and holds Taehyung’s thighs instead.

“Just a moment, please,” Taehyung says, nearly pleading as he leans in. He mouths at Jeongguk’s neck, and Jeongguk should stop him again, but he doesn’t feel teeth. He just kisses him and tongues at his skin before kissing him some more.

A hiss leaves Jeongguk’s mouth when Taehyung sucks his skin in his mouth, arousal twisting through him, but Taehyung lets go quickly and presses into him.

His eyes are dark and wanton, his cock hard. Jeongguk’s fingers twitch to touch him, but he only squeezes his fingers around Taehyung’s thighs instead.

“I should go to bed.”

Jeongguk nods. He doesn’t know what time it is, but it feels like they've been latched together for hours. He might be tired, but he’s horny and adrenaline is still pumping through his veins so he isn’t sure.

“Me too,” Jeongguk says as he kisses Taehyung’s throat. He also wants to layer Taehyung in marks and bite into his skin, but he stops himself. Even if it feels impossible to do because Taehyung is responsive and he groans and digs his fingers into Jeongguk when Jeongguk scrapes his teeth over his skin. “I should…shower.”

Taehyung’s fingers slip down his chest and to his abdomen, and Jeongguk holds his breath. Just the idea of Taehyung contemplating touching him has his legs twitching, just thinking Taehyung would want to. 

But Taehyung only touches his abdomen, his fingers spreading over his ribs. He watches his movements, and Jeongguk watches him, unsure if he’d be able to handle seeing Taehyung’s hands on his body.

He can barely handle the way Taehyung’s tongue flicks out and digs at his lips as he pulls Jeongguk’s shirt up just enough to fit his hand beneath it.

“You’re burning,” Taehyung murmurs, his fingers tickling at his back before he drags it to Jeongguk’s stomach. Goosebumps erupt across his skin, and Jeongguk bites on his tongue to hold back a noise. “Do you want to join -“

“I probably shouldn’t.”

Taehyung nods, but before he pulls off of him, Jeongguk kisses him one last time. His mouth lingers because it’s the last time , it has to be, and he doesn’t want Taehyung to go.

But eventually he does with a look over his shoulder and shuffling feet. Jeongguk listens for him without meaning to, hearing him stumble out of those tight pants and climb into bed.

Jeongguk tilts his head back against the couch and closes his eyes. He should shower, it’s more private there, and he thinks he’d prefer cold water to kill his boner than touching himself, but he doesn’t move.

He does a play by play in his head, his skin tingling with the memory of Taehyung’s touch. Of their mouths together. Taehyung growling as he bit him, how roughly he kissed back.

How soft he was afterwards.

Jeongguk has a hand over himself, fingers squeezing around the bulge as he tries to think of something horrendous. He so badly wants to go into Taehyung’s room and keep kissing him, so horny now that he really doesn’t give a shit if he comes in his pants or does something he shouldn’t.

It gets harder to ignore when Jeongguk contemplates that Taehyung could be in the same state. Aroused and trying not to be, or even worse, giving into it when there’s no door between them.

Jeongguk grits his teeth and squeezes himself once more before he gets up. He’s careful to walk quietly, though he swears it isn’t because he hears something like a bed shifting.

The cold water doesn’t help, and Jeongguk gives in. He presses his wet forehead to the wall and quickly touches himself, mouth opening around Taehyung’s name when he comes. He comes hard, like his orgasm ripped through every muscle of his body, and afterwards, he prays he did actually moan Taehyung’s name silently because his wolf is howling with all its might.

Chapter Text

Taehyung is panicking. They have off today, which means there will be no getting ready and going to school to use as a way to avoid talking about the night before. Normally, he gets up and Jeongguk pretends to be asleep until he leaves, but it feels even more wrong to do so now.

Now that they’ve kissed, no, made out. Taehyung made Jeongguk bleed, and he liked it as much as he felt bad afterwards. He didn’t want to stop, didn’t care to stop, even though he spent the time leading up to it battling in his head about how wrong it would be to give into this burning inside of him.

Trying to flirt and talk about unions while Jeongguk watched him so intensely had Taehyung’s insides rattling. He really doesn’t know how he managed it because his skin felt like it was coming alive and his wolf kept howling all night long for Jeongguk to come to him, to claim him. To take him home and let Taehyung claim him back.

Every time he decided, who cares, he would argue a point as to why he should. The last couple weeks have made him feel hopeless about anything between them being able to change because this want for Jeongguk keeps coming out, and avoiding him has only been making it worse.

It feels wrong, so for tiny moments last night, Taehyung convinced himself that he didn’t care. Then he would backtrack because of reminders, and then Jeongguk kissed him and he didn’t give a shit.  

Now, Taehyung is laying in his bed, terrified of facing him. He has no idea if Jeongguk will bring it up or wait for his cue. Jeongguk should expect him to avoid it and pretend like it didn’t happen, because that’s how Taehyung is even when he shouldn’t be.

Taehyung can still feel Jeongguk’s hands on him. He had fallen asleep with his mouth throbbing and body spent, the ghost of Jeongguk’s fingers digging into his skin. He’s still sore, but somehow, it’s a nice feeling. 

He doesn’t want to see if he’s bruised, but he has to cover up if he is, so that’s what finally pulls him from bed. He lingers by the door to listen for sounds of Jeongguk before he deems it safe.

Jeongguk lays on the couch, one hand resting on his stomach. He doesn’t look to be pretending, but if he is, Taehyung doesn’t want to get caught staring so he hurries off to the bathroom without making sure.

The first bruise he sees is on his lips. They’re a darker shade, but he expected that from how tender they feel. They’re a bit swollen too, but Taehyung can cover that up. 

The only other one he sees is over his jaw, but it’s light. Taehyung didn’t realize how hard Jeongguk had gripped into him, but he had done the same. His back is probably bruised from how hard Taehyung grabbed and pulled at him, just like his own feels but he twists to make sure it isn’t.

He shouldn’t still be sore. He heals quickly, but even his jaw is sore from kissing Jeongguk. He tries not to think about it, especially once he gets in the shower because he went to bed horny last night and he really doesn’t want to have another problem this morning.

With Jeongguk here.

Taehyung quickly showers so he can return to his room before Jeongguk wakes, but he finds Jeongguk standing by the couch when he comes out of the bathroom. The top part of his body is bare for a second, just long enough for Taehyung to see the marks on his back before Jeongguk covers himself with a hoodie.

“Hey, good morning.”

Was that too chipper? Too awkward? Taehyung’s face warms as Jeongguk slowly turns around though he must have known Taehyung was here.

His throat is marked too. Fuck, fuck. Taehyung tried so hard not to leave a mark, and Jeongguk had stopped him plenty of times.

Except for the last time, but Taehyung was very, very careful not to use his teeth.

Taehyung still wants to. He wants to climb onto Jeongguk the way he had last night and mark his neck, his chest. His thighs too, probably, because they felt so strong pinning him back, and Taehyung didn’t realize that was a thing he was into but it is .

“Hey,” Jeongguk replies, straightening out his hoodie before he shoves his hands into the front pocket. “Have you eaten? Gonna actually make that ramen.”

Is he going to bring it up? That almost is, kind of. Touching on the topic, at least. If he does, Taehyung really hopes Jeongguk doesn’t mention Taehyung asking  him to join him because he’s kind of thankful Jeongguk shot him down. He doesn’t even know what he was going to ask, but he hadn’t wanted to stop and part ways. “I haven’t.” 

“Okay…Do you want some?”

He’s going to pretend like nothing happened. Taehyung can roll with that. Maybe. He already craves to kiss Jeongguk again, especially because he looks soft when he first wakes up. And maybe he hates that Jeongguk turned him down because he could have been beside him when he first woke up. “Yeah, sure.”

Jeongguk nods and leaves him there. Taehyung doesn’t follow because it’ll remind him too much of the night before.

He misses the times where he was able to convince himself that he didn’t want Jeongguk around because Jeongguk annoyed him, and thoughts about him were easier to bury down. He wishes he didn’t tell Jeongguk to find a mate because then he actually attempted to, and Taehyung hasn’t settled since.

Not until last night, but now he’s more unsettled than ever.

Get yourself together, Kim Taehyung. It’s just Jeongguk. He’s still annoying. 

Taehyung shakes his head, breathes in, and follows Jeongguk to the kitchen.

“Are you going to the office today?” Jeongguk asks casually. If Taehyung looks close enough, he thinks he may be a little tense too. Or maybe he’s just imagining it so he doesn’t feel alone in this. “I can go with you if that’s easier.”

Taehyung told him not to stay away. He doesn’t want him to. He meant that, but his father notices way too much. 

“I was going to tell him I couldn’t make it. Um, homework.”

Jeongguk glances at him, but Taehyung keeps speaking. 

“So, I’m probably going to stay in. Maybe do some laundry. I haven’t done my bedding yet, and I probably should.”

Jeongguk’s mouth parts and he turns away again and shit . 

“Only because it’s been awhile. Only because of…that.”

At least that gets a smile out of Jeongguk, though that may not be a good thing if he decides to tease Taehyung for something he didn’t do. “Well, do you want me here or -”

“It’s your apartment too.”

The look on Jeongguk’s face is still soft, his tone understanding and gentle. “I mean, do you want me to stay away or stay around?”

He wants Jeongguk on him, in truth. He very much meant that, and he doesn’t like talking about this at all. But just as he demanded Jeongguk stop being so back and forth, he needs to do the same because he doesn’t mean to be. There’s just this constant pull towards Jeongguk, and his useless attempts at pushing away instead cause him to be that way. 

“Don’t stay away,” Taehyung says, even though he was just thinking about avoiding Jeongguk because he wants to kiss him and doesn’t want to talk about it. “Be wherever you want to be.”

Jeongguk’s lip quirks. “I’ll stay here then. As long as you wear better pants.”

Taehyung frowns. He still doesn’t understand Jeongguk’s hatred for the pants he wore. They’re just jeans. He wears them all of the time. They were very uncomfortable and tight, which became incredibly inconvenient when he was hard and pressed up against the man before him. 

“I’m staying in these.”

Jeongguk looks him over, tongue darting into his cheek. Taehyung also doesn’t understand how Jeongguk doesn’t know how he looks at him. Heat courses through from just that alone, and it had been ten times worse the night before.

“Still bad. But it’s fine.”

Annoying , Taehyung reminds himself, but it doesn’t work like it used to. “What’s wrong with these?” 

“Shit. I’m sorry,” Jeongguk gasps, suddenly looking sheepish as he comes over to him. Confusion fills Taehyung as Jeongguk bends in front of him and brushes a hand over his leg.

Unfortunately, it sends a spark up Taehyung’s spine and he finds himself to be equally as annoying.

He twists his leg and finds more bruises, still light but they’re finger shaped. His stomach swoops at the sight as he remembers Jeongguk gripping down on him as he sucked the mark he currently wears into his neck.

“It’s - it’s fine.” 

The look stays on Jeongguk’s face. It’s even more awkward now because the topic is here between them, but neither of them speak. 

“You’re strong,” Taehyung says. He punches Jeongguk in the shoulder lightly. “It’s fine. Anyway, ramen?”

Jeongguk tilts his head and reaches for him. Taehyung holds his breath as he thumbs at the tender skin above his jaw and then brushes ever so gently beneath Taehyung’s mouth. “I don’t think pretending it didn’t happen is going to work, Tae.”

Here it is. They didn’t even last an entire hour. Not even a half hour. Barely a few minutes. Taehyung misses the old them that could avoid a topic for years. “Well, I’m going to.”

Jeongguk wrinkles his nose, eyes rolling. “Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Yeah, fine,” Jeongguk says as he steps away and goes back to his task. 

“Fi -”

“Shut up, Taehyung.”

A stubborn part of Taehyung wants the last word, but he only sighs and steps up beside Jeongguk so their shoulders brush. Jeongguk will want the last word too, and given how stubborn they both are, they could go on for hours. “Let me help you.”

He may not want to talk about it, he may be panicking, but he can’t say he made a bad decision. Or that he regrets it because Jeongguk smells like him. He reeks of him, actually, even though the scent of soap that Taehyung catches implies he must have showered since last night.

And Taehyung’s wolf is more than relaxed. He’s ecstatic.

“Planning, organizing, directing, coordinating, and controlling of government operations,” Taehyung says. He flicks his fingers out, ticking each one as he speaks. “It’s easier to remember if you write it a handful of times.”

Jeongguk drags a leg up to his chest and holds onto it. “I didn’t think you meant we’d actually be doing homework.”

“You don’t have to,” Taehyung reminds him. 

“You’re on my couch.” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes and contemplates tossing his notebook at him. “I don’t want to come off like…like I’m avoiding you ,” he admits. “But I will happily go into my room if you keep distracting me.”

Shifting around, Jeongguk ends up closer to him. He leans against the back of the couch and tucks an arm beneath his head. “I’m literally not doing anything. You’re the distracting one.”

“How?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jeongguk scoffs, waving a hand at him. “Continue then.”

Taehyung does toss the notebook, but gently and on Jeongguk’s lap. “Are you even paying attention?”

“ Yes ,” Jeongguk insists firmly, tone loaded with offense. He grabs the notebook and wiggles it. “Pod-c2. Planning, organizing, directing, coordinating, and collecting. Your notes are messy.”

Taehyung snatches his notebook back, but Jeongguk goes for it. Leaning one hand into the couch for support as he reaches over him. He cheats too, grabbing onto Taehyung’s arm and using his weight to pull him down. 

Out of pure pettiness because he knows Jeongguk will succeed, Taehyung chucks the notebook across the room. 

“You’re so immature.”

Taehyung doesn’t mean to, but he cups Jeongguk’s neck before he can move away. For a wild second, Taehyung thinks about kissing him right here and can’t come up with a reason not to.

But he doesn’t. He lets Jeongguk go and holds his breath because Jeongguk doesn’t move. He stays perched in front of him with his bottom lip pulled into his mouth. 

“Pod-c2,” Taehyung tells him. “Planning…”

“Organizing, direct -”

Taehyung kisses him. He cups his hands beneath Jeongguk’s jaw, drawing them together. But Jeongguk moves too without a beat, crawling forward until he’s leaning over him, head tilting to fit their mouths better together. 

He grabs Taehyung by the top of thigh and tugs him, maneuvers him until he’s down and then he’s on top of him. Fitting their bodies together, Taehyung comes alive with the pressure of Jeongguk’s body bearing down on him. Their mouths moving together, and it’s so different from when they were younger.

Those were curious, giddy pecks. Innocent, because that’s what they were at the time, but this is far from it. 

Taehyung touches Jeongguk as much as he can. Hands in his hair, on his neck, gripping at his shoulders. He presses down his spine because he isn’t close enough, his thighs tightening around Jeongguk’s body to keep him there.

And Jeongguk groans into his mouth and shifts his hand over Taehyung’s thigh, holding him there as well. A spark shoots through Taehyung at the feeling, at the idea of Jeongguk leaving more finger shaped bruises on his skin. 

He doesn’t touch him as roughly as the night before, and Taehyung is gentler when he leans forward and nips at Jeongguk’s lips. But it’s still good, so good that Taehyung doesn’t want to stop. He’d be content like this forever.

“Ah, shit,” Jeongguk breathes against him, and Taehyung worries he’ll pull away. But he doesn’t. He presses into him and accepts the tongue Taehyung swipes across his lips.

He’s heard this is nice. He’s imagined it more than he’d like to admit, but he doesn’t expect the feeling that breaks through him when Jeongguk pulls his tongue into his mouth. His legs and hands tighten around Jeongguk without him meaning to, but he wants more. He wants all of Jeongguk.

Jeongguk leaves him roughly. He grunts as he hits the ground, but he’s up in a second. Hands pulling at his clothes, and it takes Taehyung a second to realize why.

A second too late. There’s a knock at the door, and Jeongguk takes off. He hops through the apartment towards the bathroom like a deer running for its life, leaving Taehyung alone.

Taehyung flings himself from the couch himself when he hears the code to their front door being entered. Shit, shit, shit. It can only be his father, and he can’t catch him like this. Taehyung is sure he looks winded and manhandled.

As soon as the door knob turns, Taehyung takes off to his room. He flings himself into his bed but very carefully tucks himself under the blankets so his father won’t hear him moving around. 

Taehyung’s heart pounds quickly. He tries to control his breathing as he rubs his face into his pillow, but his adrenaline is high. He used to pretend to be still asleep when he was young and not wanting to do his duties at the dining hall, and he acted well.

But while his mother fell for it, his father never did.

“Taehyung-ah,” his father calls quietly. Taehyung listens to him moving through the room, cursing at himself. “It’s late. Why are you still in bed?”

Taehyung closes his eyes and moves his face back into his pillow, pretending he’s just waking up as his father gently pulls back the blanket to find him.

“Are you feeling alright?” His father touches his forehead, then his cheek. “You’re warm.”

God . Taehyung groans, hoping it sounds like a first waking up groan and not one of misery. “Went to bed late.”

“Partying?” His father jokes. “I know what goes on at those functions.”

Taehyung contemplates lying. He thinks his father would handle him blaming his current state on drinking better than finding out he had been a second away from humping Jeongguk, but he isn’t sure. 

“Just stayed up late,” Taehyung says instead. He flies forward and rubs at his eyes. “Is Jeongguk here?” 

His father’s nostrils flare, and Taehyung wants to die . He considers rolling back under his blankets and hiding away or, at least, rubbing over his sheets because he’s sure he smells like Jeongguk.

“I think so. I heard the shower going.” His father smiles and pats his cheek. “Unless you have someone else here.”

“Appa,” Taehyung whines, pushing his arm away. “Why are you here? Is everything okay?”

He needs him to leave as soon as possible, and not just because he wants to go back to kissing Jeongguk.

“If you were hungover, I brought soup,” his father admits guiltily. “After I saw your message, I figured that was the case. But you look okay. Just warm, and a bit -“

Whatever he is going to say, Taehyung interrupts as he pulls the blanket up to his face and flings himself back into bed in fear that he’ll ask about the bruise on his jaw. “I took one sip and it tasted like garbage. I am just taking today as a sleep day.”

His father laughs quietly and pats the bed. “Fine, fine. I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll be at the office if you need me.”

Taehyung grunts his response and waits with bated breath until his father leaves. He strains his ears to hear if he goes to interrogate Jeongguk next, but there’s only silence for a few minutes before the front door opens and closes.

Still, Taehyung waits just in case. He cusses at himself for not being careful because he should have known his father would stop by after he messaged him that he wouldn’t be coming to the office today. 

As soon as he deems it safe, he leaves his room to find Jeongguk. He doesn’t hear the shower going so he only hesitates for a moment before opening the door.

He should have knocked.

Steam comes out of the room, the smell of his soap strong. Jeongguk is dressed, but only partially. He hasn’t fully dried himself either so his hair is still very wet and clinging to his forehead.

Jeongguk doesn’t even turn to look at him, continuing to brush his teeth even though he had tasted like toothpaste when they kissed.

“Way to leave me on my own,” Taehyung curses, pushing into Jeongguk’s shoulder. “Great second you are, leaving me for dead.”

Jeongguk spits into the sink. “You look fine to me.” 

So does Jeongguk, Taehyung thinks. Especially with the small mark on show, the water droplets on his bare skin. His shoulder is bruised and scratched, and Taehyung wants to wrap around him and kiss over the marks in apology before sinking his teeth in and leaving more. 

“That was stupid.”

“You kissed me ,” Jeongguk reminds him before he wipes his mouth and turns on him. “I figured last night would be the one and only time.”

Taehyung scoffs in offense. It should have been. “Well, you didn’t actually hesitate to kiss back. Or push me away. If I remember correctly, you pinned me down and seemed to be enjoying yourself.”

Jeongguk grins, but it isn’t in his eyes. “Of course I was. You smell like me. You’re pleased because of me. You spread your legs for me.”

Warmth spreads across Taehyung’s face but he keeps up his stance when Jeongguk approaches. He was right, it should have been the last time, but the reason Taehyung hesitated so much the night before is because he knew it wouldn’t be.

He knew if he gave in, he’d have an even harder time than he already is.

“Kind of think you spread them, actually,” Taehyung reminds him petulantly. Not that he’s actually complaining or anything. “I didn’t do that on my own accord.”

The grin reaches Jeongguk’s eyes then. “You would.”

Taehyung denies it, but not because he wants Jeongguk to think he wouldn’t. He can’t quite lie about that, and trying to would be pointless. He denies it because Jeongguk likes a challenge, has always been out to prove himself or prove Taehyung wrong.

And he does. He crowds up against Taehyung so Taehyung is covered by the heat lingering on his skin from the shower. He presses his knee against Taehyung’s leg and that’s all it takes before Taehyung’s legs spread, accepting him closer. He gently places his hands over Jeongguk’s stomach and savors the feeling of their skin pressed together, of the muscle beneath his palms, before he grabs Jeongguk’s hips and flips their positions.

“So would you,” Taehyung tells him because Jeongguk’s legs spread to fit him in between them without Taehyung even having to try. 

“Didn’t say I wouldn’t,” Jeongguk murmurs as he reaches up and pushes Taehyung’s hair behind his ear. Taehyung's shirt dampens when he presses into Jeongguk, but he could care less. Even if it would be even more obvious than before if his father were to return.

It’s that that has Taehyung stopping himself from reminding Jeongguk he claims he won’t submit for him just to watch him tilt his head. He desperately wants to, but he pushes off of him as much as he craves to stay against him.

And it’s quite the sight to see, as Jeongguk doesn’t move. He has his legs spread, body half bare and open for the taking. His eyes are dark like he wants exactly that, his expression not as guarded as it usually is.

It’s hard not to move back to him, but Jeongguk speaks and keeps him at a distance.

“If you asked, I would,” Jeongguk says. “That’s why I didn’t let you finish what you were saying last night because I knew you were going to ask, and it would be a mistake.”

There’s a pang in Taehyung’s chest. He shakes his head because he doesn’t want Jeongguk to keep speaking. This is the one thing more than the rest that he didn’t want Jeongguk to bring up, even if Taehyung completely agrees with him.

It’d be a mistake, and not because it’s Jeongguk, but because he wouldn’t be able to come back from that. It’s already so difficult, but if he gives himself over to Jeongguk, if Jeongguk gives himself to him, there’d be no quieting his wolf. 

His wolf hardly listens to him now. Sometimes, Taehyung feels betrayed because of just how determined his wolf is to ignore him. 

Jeongguk snatches the shirt waiting for him and pulls it over his body. “I know, I know. You don’t want to talk about it, but that needs to be said. I’m going to the restaurant.”

Protest erupts inside of Taehyung. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to leave because of him. “Don’t.”

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk says gently, “I will keep kissing you until I forget why I shouldn’t. Shouldn’t do more. It’s been at the front of my mind all day, how badly I wanted to toss the notebooks aside and just kiss you instead. Though,” he says pointedly, “I was paying attention to what you were saying.”

He smiles softly. It feels like an assurance, like he’s saying it’s okay or he isn’t angry. Maybe that’s just what Taehyung wants it to say because if Jeongguk wants to leave because he needs to, that’s one thing, but if he has to leave because he’s upset, that’s another. 

“Fine,” Taehyung says, because that’s all he can say. “Fine.” 

“Fine.”

“Don’t do that again,” Taehyung warns as he prods Jeongguk in the chest with his finger. Jeongguk’s smile is a little bigger this time. “You’re messing with my head so much, I almost forgot how annoying you are.”

That makes Jeongguk’s smile grow even larger, his cheeks rounding. He grabs onto Taehyung’s hand before he can take it away and squeezes. “I’m not trying to.”

“I know, Jeongguk. I know.”

Taehyung knocks and waits. He can hear muffled noise on the other side of the door, he knows someone is home, but that doesn’t mean they have to open the door.

He just hopes someone does because Jeongguk left and Taehyung tried to focus on his homework, but he started to spiral instead. He needs a distraction.

“Hey, babe. What’s wrong?”

Relief seeps through Taehyung at the sight of Jimin. They’ve only known each other for a short time, but Taehyung really likes him. From what he’s seen so far, he’s a good alpha, he’s kind, funny, strong. He is also very aware, but it doesn’t make Taehyung feel exposed like it normally does.

Except when Jimin implies that there’s something going on with him and Jeongguk, of course.

“Nothing. Got bored studying. Can I come in?”

Jimin is already opening the door. “You know you’re always welcomed here. I was worried when you disappeared from the dorms, but I saw Jeongguk was gone too and figured you were alright.”

“Yeah…just got a little -” Taehyung shrugs, fingers moving anxiously through his hair. “Hit my limit with the social interactions. And you know how Jeongguk is, so I figured it was time to go home.”

Cooing, Jimin rubs at Taehyung’s neck and leads him to his couch. There’s blankets everywhere, even on the ground, and empty food containers on the small table in front of it but Taehyung can’t tell if anyone else is here. The apartment always smells so strongly of the three wolves that Taehyung thinks he wouldn’t even be able to tell if Jeongguk were here. 

“Sorry, I was going to study too but then I ended up knee deep in a series about - you know what, not important.” Jimin laughs in embarrassment as he grabs some books off the couch and urges Taehyung to sit. Taehyung is curious to know what he was watching, but he grabs hold of the remote like he is worried Taehyung might turn on the television. “Joshua was worried he offended you, but I assured him it wasn’t that. I hope that was okay to say.”

Taehyung shrugs. He doesn’t care. He already knew about Jeonghan’s interest in their packs merging. He has overheard their fathers talking about it. Offering potential mates for both Taehyung and Jeongguk, and Joshua was open about that from the start of their meeting the night before.

It was difficult for Taehyung to maintain himself while Joshua spoke about Jeongguk’s great qualities, even if he agreed and was proud that a wolf that didn’t know him spoke of the good things rather than what Jeongguk’s grandfather did. He did say that the Jeon wolves were terrifying, but Taehyung blames Jeongguk for that because he does look terrifying half the time. 

Especially last night. But while it may intimidate other wolves, it only arouses Taehyung.

“You seemed really interested in him,” Jimin says casually as he shifts around and moves his body so he’s facing Taehyung. “But, as I’ve had my hand in some unions, it’s my personal opinion that it wouldn’t be a good -”

“You don’t have to do that,” Taehyung interrupts gently. “I know you think, what you think…” God, he can’t even say it outloud. “But Jeongguk and I are just friends.”

Jimin smiles and presses his fist against his temple. “That may be so, but honey, you look like you’ve been ravished. And you reek of Jeongguk and arousal.” Taehyung wrinkles his nose and tries to discreetly sniff himself. “Marks don’t linger if they’re left with, er, friendly intentions.”

Taehyung shifts uncomfortably. His heart heavies, and his throat closes up. The panic doesn’t come like it normally does because Jimin is gentle, not accusing. He does trust Jimin, and Jimin literally showed him that he and his own second were together. Intimate, at least. And Jin had been so confident there was nothing he could ever do to be kicked out of his own pack.

Plus, Jimin’s father was ready to welcome back Boyoung once he took power. His mate was in love with her second once, maybe still is, Taehyung is starting to think those feelings never go away. Jimin could have grown up thinking that there was nothing wrong with an alpha and a second being more than that, that it’s just the stupid way of the wolves.

But it took Taehyung years and years to even talk to Seokmin about it. He’s not good at it, he doesn’t like it, and he doesn’t know how.

“Listen, you don’t have to talk about it. Just know you can, right?” Jimin pats his leg. “I don’t know your situation, but I can tell you that a lot of wolves think this is a stupid rule. It doesn’t make any sense, if you think about it. It’s come from wolves that existed a billion years ago, and stuck because it would give wolves a reason to take out a second. And taking out a second means a better chance at taking out the alpha. But a lot has changed over the years.”

Taehyung pulls at his pants. He put on longer ones before coming here to hide the bruises on his legs. He wouldn’t be able to argue those being friendly. “I don’t think it was a billion years.”

Jimin laughs, face turning into his arm for a moment. “You know what I mean. Plus, they established an alpha and their second must be the same sex to prevent any kind of relationship, but I promise you, even a billion years ago, alphas and seconds were banging bits in secret.”

That causes Taehyung to smile, especially when Jimin taps his fists together to demonstrate. “When we first met, you said you thought it was a rule that would never change.”

He doesn't look offended, thankfully. He does wave his hand dismissively. “Yeah, because I didn’t know you. Your father may be okay with it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you would be. And if you gave me shit about it, I would give you shit back. That would cause a lot of complications because our packs have been loyal to each other for so long. I’d rather keep you from suspecting anything until I got to know you both more, because I do scent Jin quite a bit.”

Taehyung is listening. He is. He’s hearing what Jimin says, and paying attention when he laughs in embarrassment again. But he latches onto one part, and he can’t let it go. “My father knows? And is okay with it?”

Jimin is quiet for a moment before he nods. “I’d say because we’re not open about it, your father can pretend he doesn’t know because of the long history between our packs, but to be honest with you, I think he is just generally okay with it.”

The beat of Taehyung’s heart is so fast and brutal that he feels the pounding in his throat, in his ears. He knows the anger that consumes him must show because Jimin sits up in alert, eyes wide. 

It’s not just anger, but hurt. Here is another wolf that his father barely knows, open about his relationship with his second, and he’s so comfortable saying his father is okay with it. A wolf that isn’t his father’s son. His father gave Jimin or someone reason to trust him enough to tell him.

“Hey,” Jimin whispers, curling his palm over Taehyung’s fist. Taehyung hadn’t realized his claws had extended until they retract so as not to hurt Jimin. A whine escapes Jimin’s throat, his shoulders shrinking. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“Not you,” Taehyung manages. It comes out a sneer, his fangs are out. He’s vibrating, breathing hard. He wants to find his father and yell at him, and he isn’t used to this. Normally, he wouldn’t care. It’s wrong to challenge his father. He doesn’t feel that same competitive nature that comes up around other alphas when he’s with his father, but Taehyung feels it now. “I’ve always wanted to tell my parents. Jeongguk has - he has been terrified, so much so that it affects so much of what he does. We haven’t been friends for so long because - because we can’t even be near each other. My parents told us to be careful around each other because - because of what others would think.”

Jimin pushes up on his knees and comes closer, hesitantly. It’s weird seeing him like this because he so often radiates the air of an alpha, but that just confirms to Taehyung how much his anger must be showing.

“Hey, hey,” Jimin cups Taehyung’s shoulders and drags him forward. “Breathe in for a second. You’re about to shift.”

Is he? Taehyung didn’t even realize. He buries his face into Jimin’s neck and breathes in him, in Namjoon, in Jin. Jimin clings onto him firmly, moving his hand down Taehyung’s neck and the fur starting to sprout there. 

If he were home, Taehyung would run. He would shift and take off through the trees until he was far away enough to howl out everything inside of him. He used to do that when he was first coming into his wolf, bickering with his father and getting angry when his father had to put him in his place. He craves to do that. 

“I’m going home,” Taehyung huffs, pushing away from Jimin when he’s controlled his shift enough to keep it down. “I need to go home.”

There’s worry in Jimin’s eyes. He slowly follows Taehyung as he jumps to his feet. “Taehyung, I really think -”

“I just need to go home.”

Jimin presses his lips closed and nods. “Do you want me to come with you?” 

Taehyung rubs furiously at his neck. “No, no. I - thank you for offering, but I just need to run. I need my forest.”

“Okay, okay. Let me take you to the station, at least.”

It’s probably a good idea because Taehyung is so pissed that he wants to storm over to his father’s office and fight with him. He wants to yell at him. He wants to know why he’s accepted all of these other wolves that no one else would accept, but Taehyung’s never felt that he would accept him. 

“Fine, yeah. Thanks. Just, need to get my wallet and shoes.”

Taehyung has never traveled alone. He suspects it would put him on edge, but he’s too in his head to care about anyone else around him. His anger and hurt had flared so much that it burnt him out.

There’s a strange, uncomfortable feeling inside of him now. It’s not quite numb, not the way that’s possible once he shifts, but it’s close to that. So close that it only makes Taehyung more antsy to get to the forest. 

He hopes Jimin tells Jeongguk where he went because he was in such a fiery state that he only got his wallet and shoes. But if he does tell Jeongguk, Jeongguk will demand to know what happened, he may get angry with Jimin when he shouldn’t if Jimin doesn’t explain. And Taehyung doesn’t want Jimin to explain. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to feel the way he does.

As he didn’t tell anyone he was coming, there is no car to bring him closer to the forest. It isn’t that far, so he walks and walks until it’s safe enough to run.

The forest is very deep, and his home is in the center. He’s far enough away once he shifts that no one should know he has returned, and most of his pack venture into the woods on the other side of camp. Not this side. He should be safe to run and howl to his heart’s content.

And he does, for quite some time, before he’s found.

The sudden sight of his mother has Taehyung’s legs buckling beneath him. She’s alarmed, standing still a moment before she runs over to him and presses her snout into the side of his face. She isn’t gentle but frantic, moving over his face and sniffing at him. Taehyung tries to shake his head to ease her concerns, but she doesn’t pull away enough to let him.

It’s not until he whines that his mother gives him one last nudge against the snout and walks away from him. 

Where she had first been when she stopped running and stumbled up on him is a pile of clothes. She picks them up with her teeth and dumps them in front of Taehyung. Taehyung doesn’t want to shift back, but he is alone. Without his father, or Jeongguk, and he’s upset. He doesn’t want his mother to misunderstand.

So begrudgingly, Taehyung shifts back and dresses and he is consumed with dread when he listens to his mother’s bones snap as she shifts as well.

“Everyone is fine,” Taehyung calls before he feels his mother’s hands on his shoulders. “I just wanted to run.”

“You didn’t tell me,” his mother whispers, the concern loud still. In both her voice and eyes. She touches over him quickly like she’s making sure he’s all put together, or maybe that he’s actually there, standing in front of her. “I would have picked you up. Did you fight with your father?”

“No,” Taehyung denies quickly. He’s angry at her too because she had told him it was wrong, though part of him does know it was because of that stupid stigma on Jeongguk. “I just didn’t tell him I was coming home.”

“My love.” His mother is insistent, forcing Taehyung to keep his eyes on her. “What is going on?”

He is angry. He’s very angry, but his heart cracks when he sees her face. He leans in and wraps around her, pulling her close to him. He isn’t careful with how tightly he holds on, but she’s strong. She hugs back just as tightly.

“I can’t shift in the city. I- I needed to shift.”

“Okay, okay.” She brushes her hands through his hair and squeezes his neck. Taehyung breathes her in and it’s the comfort he needed because she smells like home more than the forest does. “Come home when you’re settled. I’ll make you your favorite soup, yeah?”

Taehyung nods, but he doesn’t let her go. Not at first. She clasps his cheeks, and while the worry is still on her face, she smiles at him. 

“I want you to talk to me, but I won’t make you. Just come home, okay? Stay as long as you want, even if you miss school. It doesn’t matter. You don’t even have to go back if you don’t want to.”

It does matter. Taehyung can’t do that, but he’s grateful that she’d be okay with it if he did. “I’ll come home, Eomma.” 

He does. Once he’s run as much as he could, and it’s late enough that most of the pack should be asleep or anyone awake won’t bother him. He doesn’t want to worry his mother too much, or he’d keep running until he was certain everyone was asleep.

It’s likely she told them that he’s returned so as not to cause alarm. She definitely called his father, and a small part of him worries that his father will be home when he shows up.

But he isn’t. It’s just his mother, a warm smile on her face as she places bowls down for them. 

“I’m sorry to make you wait.”

“I figured it’d be awhile, so I just finished,” she explains. She cups his neck and inspects his face. “Sit down and eat. I have missed you.”

Taehyung ignores her and grabs the pot of stew instead. He nudges his chin to tell her to sit first, not needing her to fuss over him. It’s bad enough that she watches him the entire time, and while she promised not to make him talk, she gives him that look she gives him that makes him feel like he has to.

“I’ve missed you too,” Taehyung replies. He rubs anxiously at his legs. “This smells good.”

“Jongyul took out his anger in a hunt,” she explains. “We have so much meat that we’ve had to send some to the market because our freezers are full.”

“How is he? Um, I expected he’d return to the city already.”

The food tastes like home too. He doesn’t know what it is, but there’s something about food cooked in their home rather than the dining hall that just tastes different. It’s probably all in his head, or just the atmosphere, but Taehyung realizes he needed this feeling just as much as he needed to shift.

“He’s not allowed,” his mother says, tone void of anything. “The fight between him and your father was not good. Your father is kind and forgiving. He’s understanding, of Jongyul especially. They’ve gone through a lot together. But he is also an alpha that is very protective. So Jongyul will remain here.”

Taehyung frowns. His father only said that Jongyul had accidentally drew blood, and that it was understandable. He was afraid. “Who is he protecting from Jongyul?” 

He knows the answer.

“Don’t worry.” His mother reaches across the table and grazes his knuckles. “Jongyul is very loyal to your father. He won’t go against his wishes, even if he wanted to.” 

That doesn’t really make Taehyung feel any better, but he’s worn out. He’s tired from today, and yesterday. Constant battles. Constant strong emotions. He’s tired, yet still agitated. “I didn’t realize how many wolves Appa was helping. With his work and school programs.”

His mother’s smile is proud, fond. “He is supposed to be teaching you things.”

“He is,” Taehyung assures her. “The other wolves I’ve met have too. I knew he was helping with funding and pack growth with merging, but I didn’t realize how many exiled wolves he helped as well.” 

“Your father is a very good man, Taehyung.”

Taehyung takes his time chewing a piece of meat he scoops from his stew. Bear, he thinks. It’s chewy, thankfully, giving him a moment to calm because his anger is still in there. “Yet, wolves in our pack are afraid of being exiled.”

His mother looks startled. She sets down her spoon slowly and hides her hands beneath the table, probably setting them onto her lap. “Jeongguk is, you mean. Because of his father, not yours.”

Just the idea of snapping, or being harsh with his mother has a whine building in his throat. It feels incredibly wrong, but he’s struggling. “Well, Appa didn’t really help with that.”

He wants to say she hadn’t either, but he can’t get the words out. He can’t really look at her either, but he can hear the protectiveness in her tone.

“As far as I’m aware, your father has only made it known that a member of our pack will no longer be welcomed if they hurt another or if they make our home an unsafe environment for anyone here. Our pack is very loyal to your father. He’s never had to threaten in order to maintain that. Even when they’ve disagreed with him, they’ve only grumbled under their breaths. They are very loyal to me . It was me that had to prove myself to earn that, but I did not need to use threats.”

Taehyung presses his tongue into his teeth. He doesn’t know what to say to that, because she is right. He’s seen it. He’s heard the stories. The pack complaints are just grumblings or over insignificant things usually. Even the last time Taehyung had smelled of Jeongguk while working at the dining hall because he was in his shirt, there were comments from the elders but…nothing else. If they complained to his parents, he never heard about it. 

“You both instructed Jeongguk and I to be careful. Because Jeongguk’s grandfather killed mine, because Jeongguk’s mother was in love with her alpha. We had to be careful because of what others could think, say. That added to why Jeongguk is so insecure within our pack. Appa never assured him that he was safe and secure. You never did.”

He looks at his mother then because this protectiness he has inside of him gives him the confidence he needs. It overrides everything else inside of him, though his fingers still shake and he too has to hide his hands.

As much as he’s been instructed to listen to his wolf throughout the years, he’s always had to quiet it. If he hadn’t had to do that, Taehyung thinks, maybe it’d be easier to control. They’d be one, fully. He’s sick now, and the anger and the protectiveness taking over makes him feel like he could go feral and he wouldn’t care. He doesn’t care even though it’s his mother sitting before him.

Jeongguk’s been afraid. Jeongguk’s been hurt . It’s a mantra in his mind that sets his wolf wild and his mother looks at him like she knows it. Her expression softens, and she’s quiet for a moment. Her shoulders shrink, but then she straightens and her jaw sets. 

“You’re right,” his mother says. Her eyes are wet, and Taehyung hates it. “You’re more than right, and it may be too late, but we’re both trying to make up for that. When Jongyul’s father was killed, the pack wanted Jongyul gone too. They insisted, and your father fought against it. I think the wolves admired him more for that because it showed just how loyal he was. When Jeongguk was born, the elders advised us to end the cycle. Even as Jongyul did the most he could to prove where his loyalties lie, they were still hurt by your grandfather’s death. Your father did the same for Jeongguk that he did for Jongyul. He insisted Jeongguk would be raised to be your second. He told them if they were unhappy about his decisions, he’d help them leave and find another pack. They were just grumbles that quieted over time because you latched onto Jeongguk like he was born to be yours, and Jeongguk grew into a wonderful wolf.”

Taehyung’s throat is so tight, he can’t even pretend to keep eating. He’s too upset anyway. The tears in his mother’s eyes grow, and she doesn’t wipe at them. 

“It’s not an excuse, only an explanation, but he was afraid it wouldn’t be enough. If the wolves saw any sign that the same harm could be done to you or your father, those grumblings would turn into something more. Something that would lead your father to choose between the demand of an entire pack and a brother and a son. We needed you to be careful not to fight, even though it’s normal for young wolves to. And we needed you to be careful with how hard you two latched onto each other because what happened to Boyoung is common. Wolves have always used this excuse to get rid of the second so they could be closer to their alpha. Your father would be breaking his word to either the pack or Jongyul if it came to that.”

Silence follows, and she looks at him so intensely that Taehyung has to look away. He has so much he wants to say but he doesn’t know how to say any of it. Plus, he feels like she isn’t done. That there’s more, and he doesn’t know if he wants to hear any more. If he wants to have this conversation anymore because there’s this battle inside of him that has the hair on his arms standing up. 

“Jeongguk told me this too, the night he fought with his father,” his mother whispers, the tears finally slipping past her eyelid. “Do you know how hard he cried when I told him there was nothing he could ever do to be sent away? I can’t think of one thing he’d be capable of doing that would cause us ever to abandon him.”

Taehyung didn’t know that, and it makes his heart hurt. He couldn’t tell that Jeongguk was crying because he’s so good at hiding it all. 

“And why would I abandon someone for loving you? Wouldn’t that be hypocritical of me when I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone? Of your father because he loves you just the same?”

Taehyung snaps his head in her direction. As tired as he is, emotion swells inside of him. It’s so strong that he can’t swallow it down, can’t even try. The shake in his hands moves up to his arms, to his jaw. He tries hard to school his expression, but he doesn’t stand a chance at succeeding.

Love is quite the stretch. It isn’t that, but his mother is still saying words he’s always craved to hear. She’s talking about Jeongguk, but this time, Taehyung doesn’t think, ‘what about me?’ He hears it, that it extends to him. 

“Others will grumble, but that is all they will do. It took us too long to realize that.”

She stands up, and Taehyung shakes his head. He doesn’t want her to come close, doesn’t want her to touch him. He doesn’t want to hurt her, but he doesn’t know what he could do right now. He’s so angry he feels as if he could hurt anyone, but he’s also so desperate for his mother’s words that he doesn’t know which feeling inside of him will win out when it comes to reacting. 

Yet, when she sits beside him and wraps her arms around him, he goes. He sinks into her, cheek pressed over her heart. He clings onto himself though, hugging his chest tight as his mother wraps her arms around his.

“I am sorry,” she whispers, rubbing her cheek over his head. “I am so sorry.”

Taehyung doesn’t say anything as he releases himself and grabs onto his mother’s arm, just holding her. He has always wanted this, but he’s still uneasy. He still wants to deny what his mother says, tell her that she’s got it wrong. 

So he doesn’t say anything.

She holds him for a long time. They stay silent, and every now and then she kisses the top of his head. It lulls Taehyung, and when he’s nearly asleep against her, that’s when she lets him go and suggests he go to bed.

But Taehyung doesn’t. He forces his eyes open and kisses her cheek. The conversation may be over for now, but it will come up again. Most likely tomorrow before he returns to the city, and then definitely when he gets back. His father will want to talk to him right away, he’s sure. 

Taehyung doesn’t really want to talk, at all. About any of this, though he also craves to. He understands what Jeongguk meant about how tempting it is to hop on the honesty train now.

He doesn’t want to talk but he takes his mother’s phone into his room with him. It isn’t only his father that had called her a handful of times, but Jeongguk as well.

Taehyung clicks on Jeongguk’s name, and isn’t surprised when he answers after one ring. 

“It’s me.”

Jeongguk sighs. “I’m going to kick your fucking ass.”

A smile tugs at Taehyung’s lips as he curls his legs up towards his body. Jeongguk sounds like he means it, but they both know he doesn’t. “I just needed to come home.”

“You could have told me that,” Jeongguk goes on. “You scared the hell out of me.”

Taehyung closes his eyes. “It wasn’t because of you.”

“I’d understand if it was.”

“ Wasn’t ,” Taehyung clarifies firmly. He really needs Jeongguk to know that, at least, because he doesn’t want to tell him why he did leave. Or what his mother said, because he doesn’t know if Jeongguk will panic or feel relieved. He doesn’t know how he feels himself. “I’ll come home tomorrow. Do you want me to get anything while I’m here?”

There’s silence on the phone. Taehyung strains his ears to figure out what Jeongguk is doing, where he is. He feels bad that he worried him, that he left him alone. But he also didn’t want Jeongguk to see him like that, and he doesn’t know what Jeongguk would have done. Jeongguk reacts when he’s just a little unsettled, uneasy, but Taehyung felt like anger was bursting out of every one of his pores. He hasn’t felt that way before.

The last thing Taehyung would ever want is to cause Jeongguk, for even the tiniest second, to turn that protectiveness he has for him towards his father. He doesn’t know if it’s presumptuous to think he would, but either way, it would make Jeongguk feel awful. 

“No. Stay away from my father,” Jeongguk whispers. “Text me, and I’ll be there to pick you up, yeah? You don’t have to tell me, but give me something to say to your father when he comes to question me. We both know he will.”

Taehyung stretches onto his back and groans. “I’m just going to tell him I missed my mother and forgot to tell him.” 

“Fine, yeah. Goodnight, Taehyung. Text me tomorrow. Promise.”

The knot in his chest tightens. He doesn’t know why that out of everything has the emotion inside of him breaking. Why that of all things has the pressure pushing up into his throat like a tidal wave, and pressing his lips together so Jeongguk won’t hear any noise from him makes that tidal wave moving until it’s pushing out from his eyes. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to worry anymore, and he feels bad that he caused Jeongguk to worry in the first place. He didn’t think Jeongguk would because he’d be home , the safest place he could ever be, but he should have known. 

“Okay. Promise.”

Jeongguk doesn’t hang up. Taehyung doesn’t move either, keeping the phone next to his ear. He can barely hear Jeongguk’s breathing from how hard his face throbs as he tries to keep it all in from bursting out.

“I’ll be there,” Jeongguk whispers. “I’ll always be there.”

Chapter Text

“Good morning, sleepyhead. It’s me, Seokmin. Remember me? Platonic love of your life.”

Taehyung blinks groggily. It only takes him a second to remember where he is and to recognize the face hovering beside him. As soon as he does, he rips forward and wrestles his arms around Seokmin and breathes him in.

He smells weird, but relief courses so hard through Taehyung that he chokes on it. 

“Ugh,” Seokmin complains, pushing at his shoulder. He gives up after a second and rubs at his back. “The city has made you mushy.”

“I missed you,” Taehyung mumbles. His voice is more hoarse than it usually is when he first wakes up because as soon as Jeongguk hung up, he let it all out. Crying quietly into his pillow so his mother wouldn’t hear for what felt like hours but could have only been minutes. “I have called to talk to you plenty, and you haven’t answered. Don’t blame this all on me.”

“Sorry,” Seokmin giggles guiltily as Taehyung pulls away and sits up to look down at him. “I don’t have my own phone like you do. And I’ve been spending a lot of time with Binna.”

Happiness breaks through all the bullshit that’s been harboring inside of Taehyung, and he slaps Seokmin’s thigh in glee. “What! That’s great.”

“Yeah.” Seokmin beams, and Taehyung is truly happy. “Yeah, yeah. It’s going really well. I really like her, hyung. I think she really likes me back.”

“She should. You’re great.”

Seokmin’s eyes narrow as he lifts up and rests on his palms. He looks like he is going to say something teasing, but his expression softens. “What happened? You’ve been crying.”

Taehyung rubs at his eyes. They’re swollen, sore. He wonders if he cried in his sleep because they should be back to normal by now. “I’m a bit worn out, Seok-ah. I don’t really want to talk about it right now, if that’s okay?”

“If it’s Jeongguk, I told you that I’ll kick his ass.”

Taehyung grins, and swats Seokmin playfully. “I love you, you know?”

“I know. I love you too.” Seokmin holds his fist out until Taehyung bumps it with his own. “Your mother went to the dining hall, but she told me to tell you that you don’t have to. You can stay here all day.”

He hadn’t thought about that, though of course, it would be expected of him to do his normal duties while he was here. Or at least, show his face. He’s relieved he doesn’t have to. 

“Which means something is truly up because I bet your mother would drag you to the dining hall even if I was brutally murdered.”

Taehyung yelps, head shaking. That’s definitely an exaggeration, but he still makes a face that says Seokmin is right. “Being away from home is hard, is all. And…and things have gotten a bit more complicated with Jeongguk. I’ve really wanted to run, so I just came home. But whatever. Tell me more about you and Binna.”

Despite this, he gets up to brush his teeth and wash his face, but Seokmin follows after him. He doesn’t talk more about him and Binna, and Taehyung groans because he knows his silence is so Taehyung will keep talking.

Taehyung falls for it, but he speaks like he’s being forced even though he isn’t. He wants to talk about it, deep down, and he trusts Seokmin more than anyone. If it gets too much, he won’t push for more. He’ll sense it and make a joke, silently telling him it’s okay to stop. 

“Even you’ve said it before, an alpha can’t be with his second. Jeongguk has to watch his movements, prove himself,” Taehyung explains, hands waving. “But in the city, I’ve met all these wolves that my father has been helping. Wolves that have been exiled, alphas that have left their packs, other alphas that are with their seconds.”

He feels a little bad for not expanding on Yoongi, but he will. He’s only heard the story briefly, but he doesn’t want Seokmin to think badly of him.

“And I was talking to a friend of mine, another alpha, who told me my father knew he was involved with his second and was okay with it. I just…you know, got really angry that Jeongguk, who my father has said is like a son to him, has to be so careful and afraid, yet other wolves can just…you know?”

Taehyung doesn’t look at Seokmin as he speaks because he still isn’t used to it. He busies himself washing his face as Seokmin leans against the bathroom door and watches him. 

“I wanted to fight him,” Taehyung admits quietly. “So I came here instead. To run.”

“I don’t mind threatening to kick Jeongguk’s ass, but I don’t know if I could kick your father’s ass. I could try.”

Amusement swells inside of Taehyung. This is why he likes Seokmin. He’s missed him too. He’s comforted by him, that he’s here. Taehyung doesn’t know why he hasn’t talked to Seokmin much before because as hard as it is, it’s a little easier with him. 

“No, no. I was just angry,” Taehyung assures him as he dries off his face. “My mother said they’re trying to make up for it, but I don’t know. I don’t know how they could. It’s not like we can be together. I understood her reasoning, and I don’t know what I would do if I was them, but it doesn’t really make me feel any better either. ”

Seokmin lights up at that, and Taehyung groans. He regrets his life. “‘Be together?’ Things have changed from the days of pretending to hate him and calling him annoying.”

“He is annoying, and so are you,” Taehyung grunts. “I take back what I said. I haven’t missed you at all.”

“Liar.” Seokmin grins. “You know, if your parents are trying to make up for it, maybe you can be. Rumor has it Jongyul and Alpha Seonghoon fought over it. A few wolves overheard the fight. Heard your father say Jeongguk will mate with whoever he wants to, and Jongyul will not try to pressure him in any way. Obviously he was talking about you.”

Taehyung scoffs. “It’s only obvious to you because I told you about our fight, and you think there’s still something between us.”

“No. Literally everyone thinks he was talking about you,” Seokmin says gently, coming over to him. “Why would they even fight about that if it wasn’t? Why would Jongyul be banned from returning to the city?”