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Oh Well I Never! Was There Ever!

Summary:

Season Four sure gave us lots of Chat angst. Plenty of worries and doubts to make a worst-case scenario story with.

This is not that fic.

28. Risk Taker
29. Freedom

Notes:

Chapter One more like Chatper One

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: A Cat So Clever!

Chapter Text

As was so often the case, it was an akuma that brought them together, and not the many messages Chat Noir had been leaving for Ladybug. It was just big and slow enough for the helicopters overhead to stay on top of it, broadcasting its image to the massive screens that graced many of the Paris streets, but they were tailing it, keeping their distance and sticking close to structures they could hide behind as they followed it from the rooftops, waiting for some hint of powers or at least a theme before they would move in to confront it.

 

“It’s definitely heading toward something,” Ladybug muttered. She was right, of course; the akuma was moving with purpose.

 

Chat Noir suggested, “Or someone,” then said, “but since we’ve got a minute, could we talk?”

 

Ladybug sighed. “Yes, I got your messages. All thirty-nine of them. I’m sorry I missed our last few patrols; I was dealing with a lot. I’m still dealing with a lot. And- I think our minute’s up!”

 

The akuma had veered through a doorway. The heroes leapt down and moved in, forgoing cover; even though they didn’t know what it could do, having it trapped in an enclosed space should even the odds in their favor, and they couldn’t let it get to anyone inside the building, but before they were anywhere near entering the building themselves, the akuma hurtled through an upstairs window, clutching someone under its arm.

 

Ladybug gasped. “Max!”

 

Sure enough, it was Max Kanté, green shirt bright against the black robe the akuma wore. They tensed, but it took no notice of them before it started running again. Wary, Ladybug and Chat Noir followed, a little closer than they had been; if something happened, they wouldn’t have any extra time to reach Max.

 

“Actually, I was going to say-” Chat started, but Ladybug shushed him. Because there was an akuma and they were technically supposed to be trying for stealth, Chat subsided, though his air of urgency lingered.

 

The akuma plucked Nino off a balcony. Chat’s gloved hands clenched around his staff and Ladybug pursed her mouth, but they pursued in silence, as the akuma hadn’t actually done anything yet- nothing to harm its hostages, and nothing to give the heroes any clue of how to beat it.

 

Next was Kagami, although she tried to evade it, ducking behind trees and weaving around benches in a park. Somehow the akuma’s black robe was an infinite mass of fabric- it kept tearing off large swathes to bind its hostages with and tie to its back, but the costume was left whole.

 

Chat muttered, “Oh, I do not like this trend,” and Ladybug looked at him sharply for a minute before apparently letting it go, but the set of her eyes had taken on some of the tension Chat had shown ever since they’d met up to tail the akuma.

 

The akuma also took Kim and Luka, and then, perhaps mostly because she was standing on top of a building with a light and screeching, Chloé. It took them down by the river, lining them up, all bound in black. At first glance, it seemed like a strange choice of location, as the akuma wouldn’t have the advantage of the high ground, but it was taller than the steps from the street to the river, and would easily see anyone coming to rescue its victims.

 

It hadn’t gagged anyone. Luka took a deep breath, and tried, “Monsieur-”

 

“I am Confessor,” the akuma interrupted immediately, as all akumas did, presumably at Shadow Moth’s prompting.

 

Ladybug and Chat Noir stared blankly from a roof a block away before it clicked. “Like… a priest? A Catholic priest?”

 

“Demonizing religion, wow. I know Shadow Moth’s had some really questionable akumas lately, but doesn’t the guy realize what year it is?”

 

“This will be a great one for Is-The-Akuma-Offensive,” Ladybug said, and Chat nodded fervently. Mme. Bustier had started a blog, inspired and encouraged by Alya, that offered thoughtful reflections on the problems and biases inherent in Shadow Moths’ designs. The Ladyblog frequently shared links to her posts.

 

“Confess!” said Confessor, unsurprisingly. “Who are you?”

 

It was pointing at Nino. Nino said, “Nino Lahiffe.”

 

Next to Chat Noir, Ladybug sucked in a breath and Chat Noir winced; the implications were immediate. “Good thing we stayed back. We won’t get close until we have a plan.”

 

“I’m actually kind of amazed that Shadow Moth hasn’t tried this before,” Chat offered.

 

“Right? I guess all he can work with is the emotions of his victim, and not too many people get worked up specifically about needing to know someone’s identity.”

 

Merci, Paris.”

 

Then Confessor said, “And?” and Nino said, “Carapace.”

 

Immediately his eyes widened and he renewed his frantic struggling against the black strips of cloth that bound him. Ladybug’s eyes cut to meet Chat’s.

 

Before she could say anything, he said, “This is what I needed to talk to you about.”

 

“Chat, I know this is a surprise, I’m sorry if you don’t-”

 

“It’s not,” he interrupted. “A surprise. I already knew that.”

 

Ladybug stared at him, gaping. Softly, almost pleading, Chat Noir said, “I said I needed to talk to you.”

 

Confessor said, “Who is Ladybug?”

 

Nino said, “Ladybug.”

 

“So it can ask that too,” Ladybug muttered, without looking away from Chat Noir. “Great.” To Chat, she said, “So we really do need to talk. Can it wait?”

 

Below them, the akuma asked, “Who is Chat Noir?” but the only name Nino could offer was the hero’s chosen moniker.

 

“With this akuma, I’m not sure.”

 

“Tell me as it comes up, then,” Ladybug instructed. “Come on.” She led them to a slightly closer vantage point.

 

Confessor moved on to Luka, who was apparently Viperion. Ladybug cringed a bit. “Chat, besides the thing you wanted to talk about… how are you taking this?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“For the first time, you’re seeing the choices I made. I’m not used to that. Do you think I made a mistake?”

 

“It’s not really the first time…”

 

Ladybug cringed again. “Right. The thing we’re going to talk about.”

 

“…but I didn’t want to talk because I was disappointed! I’m not disappointed. Nino’s great; Luka too.”

 

Ladybug uncurled a little. “With Second Chance, Luka could have figured out our identities without us knowing. I’ve been second guessing myself a lot lately; I’m glad I wasn’t wrong about him.”

 

“You weren’t wrong,” Chat agreed. “About any of them.”

 

“You’re just saying that,” Ladybug murmured, fighting back the hint of a smile.

 

“No? I mean, I knew about Kagami and Max, and Chloé of course. And Nino. Now I know about Luka. I’m not sure why Kim’s here, but I can use the process of elimination and take a good guess. If he’s had a Miraculous like everyone else Confessor grabbed, then I’ll tell you for sure if I approve in just a moment.”

 

Sure enough, Confessor moved on to questioning Kim, who revealed himself to be King Monkey. Chat Noir gave Ladybug a thumbs up.

 

“I like it! Very nice lineup, although I do prefer them lined up as heroes, not prisoners.”

 

“Not that I can ever give them a Miraculous again, with their identities exposed like this,” Ladybug said sadly. “I know we’ve been managing alright, but that’s the entire old crowd.”

 

“Except for Alya,” Chat Noir said without thinking.

 

Ladybug froze. “Is… this something you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Yes! Yeah, I know that Alya is Rena Rouge. I think that’s it, actually.”

 

“No more surprises?”

 

“Not from me,” Chat promised.

 

Ladybug sighed. “Shadow Moth knows that Alya has been permanently retired from wielding a Miraculous, so this should be it for the interrogations.”

 

They peered down at Confessor’s row of hostages. He had questioned all of them but Chloé, and all of them had been forced to give themselves up but unable to identify Ladybug or Chat Noir. To Chloé, Confessor asked, “Who is Ladybug?”

 

“Ladybug.”

 

“Who is Chat Noir?”

 

“Chat Noir,” Chloé parroted perfunctorily, then burst out, “but aren’t you supposed to ask who I am first?”

 

“Everyone already knows you were Queen Bee,” Ladybug muttered.

 

“Everyone already knows you were Queen Bee,” Confessor dismissed.

 

“Well apparently you already knew about all the other heroes, but you still asked them! And I can’t believe you only asked them about Ladybug and Chat Noir,” she added, “when you could have asked them about me.”

 

Confessor froze. An outline of purple light appeared over its grayed face. After a moment it vanished, and Confessor asked, “Who is Vesperia? Who is Polymouse? Who is Pigella? Who is Purple Tigress?”

 

Chloé could only repeat the last name, and then all of them when Confessor asked one by one. Confessor rounded on the others, but they had the same lack of an answer.

 

As an afterthought, Confessor said, “Who is Rena Rouge?”

 

Nino said, “Alya Césaire.”

 

Ladybug whispered, “Oh, no,” and abruptly started swinging away from the akuma.

 

Following her, Chat asked, “But didn’t Shadow Moth already know that, since he apparently knows you’ve retired her? And weren’t we going to observe the akuma for weaknesses?”

 

“Confessor can only ask one person one question at a time,” Ladybug rattled off, not slowing down. “We can’t afford for it to get either of us. I can’t afford for it to get Alya either, but it’s not safe to try and stop the akuma. So we need to plan ahead while we still can.”

 

Confessor asked, “Who is Alya Césaire?”

 

Chat frowned in confusion, but Nino answered, “Rena Furtive.”

 

“…Ladybug? Who’s-”

 

“I’ll tell you later!” Ladybug cried. Impossibly, she had sped up; Chat raced to catch up with her.

 

The screens all over the city showed both the scene by the river, now gone still, and the akuma speeding through the streets of Paris. Newscasters were talking animatedly about what had been revealed- apparently they’d been able to get sound, somehow. Confessor successfully snatched Alya and set her with the others, but Ladybug and Chat Noir kept moving farther and farther away.

 

Confessor asked, “Alya Césaire, who are you?”

 

Alya said, picked up on every microphone and transmitted over every screen, “Scarabella.”

 

“She’s Scarabella? But- since she was your stand-in, doesn’t that mean that she knows…”

 

Confessor’s dark eyes gleamed. For the last time, it asked, “Who is Ladybug?”

 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

 

“Spots off!”

 

Chat Noir yelped as he flung himself forward to catch his detransformed partner, because people not transformed by Miraculouses are not safe running on roofs or using yoyos to swing through the air. In his arms, Marinette never paused to grasp at him as anyone afraid of falling would, but quickly pulled out her earrings.

 

“Come on,” she said, and sure enough they’d arrived at the bakery. Chat set them down on the balcony, stunned but not hesitating to follow when Marinette yanked open her trapdoor and descended into her room.

 

Marinette fiddled with something Chat Noir couldn’t process, and somehow a box unfolded, revealing the Miracle Box. She thrust it into his hands, along with her earrings. “Keep them safe,” she insisted. “Don’t try to save me, just go. I renounce-”

 

Chat Noir slapped a hand over her mouth, balancing everything else on his other arm. “Ah, sorry- but could you not? There’s no reason why you can’t keep being the Guardian.”

 

“No reason?!” Marinette yelled through his hand. Chat removed it. “Chat, I-”

 

“I know it’s a risk,” Chat started.

 

Marinette muttered, “And look how my other risks have turned out.”

 

“But could you take just this one more risk? For me?”

 

Marinette hesitated; Chat said, “What’s the worst that can happen? What are you going to tell Shadow Moth if you get caught- my identity?”

 

That got her to smile, finally. “All right, Chat. I won’t give up. But it’s all you from here on out.”

 

“I’ve got it,” he promised.

 

“Then go,” Marinette ordered. “Leave me here.”

 

Chat Noir started up toward the balcony but lingered. “Marinette, I-”

 

Her face crumpled, momentarily losing the battle against the tears she’d been fighting back. “I’m sorry! But if you get caught too, it’s all over!”

 

Chat Noir jumped straight up through the open trapdoor, yelling over his shoulder, “I’m not disappointed!” The wind stole his words, but he didn’t look back to see if they had reached Marinette. Confessor would be taking the same route he and Marinette had just taken to get to her house; Chat needed to be out of its way.

 

The same legion of screens that had minutes ago been blaring excited, speculative chatter had gone silent. The newscasters were staring at the video, forgetting to look into the camera. Seconds later, the screens went blank as the transmission was cut off.

 

Chat made his way back to the river, a few blocks over from where Confessor was making the same journey, having already captured Marinette. It bound Marinette the same way the akuma had bound everyone else, and the plain black robe was left untorn as always. If there was a limit, this wasn’t it.

 

Marinette joined the row of former Miraculous holders without ceremony. When Confessor asked who she was, Marinette didn’t even try to answer with her civilian identity.

 

“Ladybug.”

 

Alya was openly crying. Kim was tearing up, and the rest of Confessor’s hostages weren’t far behind. Marinette just stared at Confessor, and through him, Shadow Moth. If she’d shed a few frustrated, agonized tears between knowing Confessor would question Alya and being snatched up herself, they’d never know it.

 

Confessor grinned some ghastly approximation of a smile. Triumphantly, it bellowed, “WHO IS CHAT NOIR?”

 

For the first time since the akuma appeared, Marinette relaxed fully, and smiled.

 

Chat Noir didn’t stick around to hear how Marinette answered. Later, if he remembered, he would ask her what she’d said about him. Personally he could think of a lot of cheesy answers to give someone who asked him who Ladybug was, and they were still true now that he knew Ladybug was Marinette. The awestruck giddiness he felt was almost canceling out the dread that was hanging over all of Paris, leaving him quiet and clear-headed.

 

He entered the television studio easily; it would be another few minutes before Confessor started looking for him. Nadja Chamack and her crew were visibly subdued, and seeing him alone did not perk them up.

 

“Hi,” he said in lieu of nothing. “Do you still have live cameras?”

 

Nadja shook her head. “Of course not, it seemed- well, that is to say- I’m sorry. It was irresponsible of us to broadcast such sensitive information.”

 

“Shadow Moth doesn’t exactly adhere to any guidelines about what’s okay to air live,” Chat offered. He didn’t miss the days when everyone in Paris wanted to know the identity behind the mask, and would go to any lengths to get it. “You don’t need to apologize for him, I’m just trying to plan what comes next.”

 

“At the very least,” Nadja said, “we stopped releasing live akuma coverage outside of Paris months ago. Only people in the city saw the footage before we stopped recording, and we’ve deleted the video, of course.”

 

“Okay,” Chat breathed. “Okay. I can work with this.” It wouldn’t be the only video- no doubt countless viewers had been recording it even as it played- but he would find ways to deal with that. “I think I can deal with any videos that might be out there. So- I’m going to need your help.”

 

After Chat left, the screens in the streets were back on. They displayed Confessor, still at the river, but without sound, and Nadja Chamack. She was repeating the same message over and over. It was echoed in subtitles and sign language, and links appeared intermittently to other translations as they became available. It was the message Chat Noir had given her to distribute, and it consisted of three things.

 

First, it asked that the city of Paris not publicize Ladybug’s identity. The Miraculous Cure was going to wipe out any sort of record made, including digital, and if someone tried to get around the magic by writing some sort of vague clue for themselves, then everything they’d written that day, every image and document they had on their computer, would be in danger of being wiped out. Chat Noir couldn’t actually guarantee that the Miraculous Cure would work that way, but it was a good threat to help control both the flow of information and Shadow Moth. He’d been sure to have Nadja include that this meant Shadow Moth would probably lose a lot, and that might be a hint as to his identity.

 

Second, the message said that it was fine to write notes to Ladybug. She would appreciate the support. As long as the envelopes were properly addressed to Ladybug, and delivered to Chat Noir instead of the postal system, they were exempt from the previous rule.

 

The third and last thing in the message was vague, but so was Chat Noir’s whole plan. Every single citizen of Paris was asked to stand as a representative of Paris, with the understanding that Shadow Moth was also a citizen of Paris and could not suddenly choose to self-identify as otherwise.

 

The entire plan was a risk, but what else was Chat Noir going to do? He went to see Markov, who assured him that he had already been monitoring what was being uploaded to the Internet, and would remove everything that revealed Ladybug’s identity. And everyone else’s but that was a secondary concern.

 

Chat Noir slipped in and out of buildings, playing a game of hide-and-seek with Confessor. Thanks to the live broadcast of Confessor’s movements, Chat was easily winning. He collected letters for Ladybug in a large sack, and while he was at it, asked one more thing of the people he talked to.

 

Surprisingly- or perhaps not- no one balked when he asked them to do something that might have unknown adverse effects on them, and would absolutely have adverse effects on Shadow Moth. Without asking what it was, every single Parisian citizen Chat Noir talked to took possession of the Miracle Box for a few brief moments willingly, and handed it back.

 

Finally, Chat Noir had combed over as much of the city as he was going to. His sack was full, Confessor was out in the city away from his hostages, and Chat’s plan was ready to move forward.

 

It was time to get his Lady back.

Chapter 2: As JOHN CENA!!!

Notes:

I started outlining this fic WAY before the season four finale, I promise, but I feel like they’re really similar thematically? Guess that means my interpretations of the characters are Correct

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

With screens on every street displaying Confessor’s location, it wasn’t hard for Chat Noir to avoid the akuma and head to the riverside scene it had abandoned. It was the work of a moment to extend his staff, descend to the hostages, scoop up Marinette, and rise back up with her in his arms to duck into a sheltering arch where Confessor would never find them.

 

“Chat,” she sighed, “I told you not to save me,” but her hands stayed clenched on his shoulders. Without a Miraculous transformation, her grip registered through Chat’s costume as gentle. He could have easily shaken her off, but he had never wanted to before and wouldn’t start now. Instead, Chat sat down, cross-legged, with Marinette partially in his lap.

 

Marinette wasn’t looking at him. She looked nothing like her normal self, and not just because she wasn’t in costume- Chat Noir knew Marinette. He knew how vivacious and determined she was. But he could understand that her confidence had taken a hit, and she wasn’t ready to go charging back into battle right away, so instead of explaining his plan, Chat mentioned, “I saw a few more people by the river than there were before.”

 

“Oh, did you miss the other reveals?” Marinette muttered. “Nothing’s really a secret anymore, so I guess I can tell you.”

 

“Or you could let me guess,” Chat suggested. Marinette actually looked at him to raise an eyebrow, so he continued, with deliberate levity, “What? I could totally guess! I mean, take Viperion. I’m pretty sure that the Snake Miraculous went to a boy you found in the sewer that day, and there were only two of them there that I know of, and I kind of got the feeling that it wasn’t Adrien Agreste.”

 

“So you knew Viperion was Luka the whole time?”

 

“Nah, I wasn’t thinking that hard about it. But I wasn’t surprised either.”

 

“Alright,” Marinette said, starting to smile. “So you know about Viperion. And Carapace and Rena Rouge, apparently?”

 

Chat Noir shrugged. “I don’t really have a good way to explain how I found out about them without giving too many hints about, well…” He trailed off as Marinette’s smile abruptly dropped off her face. Right. He was the only one with a secret identity left, he didn’t have to rub it in. “I was concerned about how much information was getting out- and apparently Shadow Moth did know a lot, to be able to send Confessor after the right people. But apparently there was even more that he didn’t know. What’s the deal with Rena Furtive?”

 

“I trusted Alya,” Marinette said quietly. “I thought it would be a good back up plan. Oh, I don’t know if you know this, but she’s my best friend.”

 

“Of course I know that,” Chat started, puzzled, then stopped. “Marinette, you do know- you do know that I know who you are, right? I literally have your autograph.”

 

She looked sharply at him. “Chat, don’t tell me things about yourself!”

 

“I didn’t!” he protested, holding his hands up. “I didn’t say if I was a fan of your fashion, or your collaborations with Jagged Stone, or your baking talent, or the work you did with the movies your school shot…”

 

“You’ve had a busy few hours of gossip, then,” Marinette said dryly.

 

“I really did have your autograph before today, I’ll have you know,” Chat insisted, “but yes, I have been bragging about you. A lot of people told me stories about how you’ve helped them. Here.”

 

He nudged the sack that had been tied to his back over his shoulder, offering it to Marinette. She loosened the strings just enough to peer inside, and see the multitude of envelopes addressed to Ladybug. “This is…”

 

“You’re pretty popular, you know. All I did was pass out envelopes- most people already had something ready.”

 

“That’s nice, it really is, but it’s going to be so weird now that everyone knows. Obviously I won’t be able to be Ladybug anymore-”

 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Chat interrupted.

 

Marinette gaped at him. “Chat, don’t try to give me hope. You know how bad it would be. The only reason my parents are still safe right now is because Confessor’s going to try to get you too- I’d be too afraid for them to ever do anything.”

 

Chat shook his head. “My lady, princess- wow it’s a good thing France doesn’t actually have those kinds of classes anymore, because I would not use titles correctly- consider that I have a plan, and you don’t have to worry about anything.”

 

“I’ve tried to plan,” Marinette said. “But the Miraculous Cure doesn’t work like that- there’s no way to wipe everyone’s memories, let alone everything that was on TV.”

 

“Markov and I were hanging out, and he’s taking care of the digital side,” Chat assured her. “As for how the Cure works, well… we’ll get to that. We were talking about the identities of the other heroes you picked, let’s go back to that.”

 

Marinette sighed. “So you know about Luka, Alya, and Nino.”

 

“And Chloé, of course,” Chat Noir added.

 

“And Chloé,” Marinette repeated. “Of course. You were there for when Confessor questioned Kim, so… Kagami and Max?”

 

“I was there when you gave them their Miraculous,” Chat reminded her.

 

“Okay, so the newer heroes! Um… Vesperia?”

 

“Hmm. I do recall that right before you left and came back with her, you said something like, ‘Of course! Zoé!’”

 

“Did I?” Marinette cringed. “Well, you’re right, it’s Zoé. I do have a habit of bringing in my friends, especially when I know they’ve already got a personal stake in purifying the akuma we need help with.”

 

“Can’t say I mind,” Chat said. “It’s worked out just fine.”

 

“If you say so. Uhhh… Polymouse.”

 

“No idea, but I sure hope it was someone passionate about the protest.”

 

“Yeah, Mylène. Pigella?”

 

“I was there when you gave it to Rose, remember?”

 

“Right, I didn’t have any cover,” Marinette said. “After that was… Purple Tigress.”

 

“I can sure guess who had a personal stake in beating that particular akuma,” Chat said. “I really, really want it to be Juleka.”

 

“Yep! And since you know about Scarabella, that’s everyone!”

 

“Cool,” Chat approved.

 

Quietly, Marinette said, “I actually really liked that part. Choosing new heroes. Getting to empower my friends was… I know you’ll do a great job as the new Guardian, but it would mean a lot to me if you’d let me weigh in on who I think should get a Miraculous, every once in a while.”

 

“I always value your opinion,” Chat Noir said. Carefully, he slid her hands off his shoulders where they had been flexing nervously, so he could hold them. “But it’s not really accurate to call me the new Guardian. I’m a temporary Guardian, at best.”

 

“Chat,” Marinette said, beginning to fiddle with his ring; he let her. “Do we really have to keep doing this? I can handle the truth, you don’t have to keep pretending like nothing’s changed.”

 

“That’s the thing, though. I really think I can pull this off. I’ve actually got all of Paris, more or less, acting as temporary Guardians; if we do this right, the whole city will forget this entire day ever happened,” Chat said.

 

“That’s crazy,” said Marinette. “I mean, even if you somehow wiped the memories of everyone in Paris, what about everyone else?”

 

“I told you, Markov’s handling it. Side note, if you’ll take my opinion about giving out Miraculous- let’s just say that if they can be akumatized, they can probably wield a Miraculous, yeah?”

 

“Side note accepted. But really, even it’s just Paris, all of Paris?”

 

“You know that rule about how when the Guardianship passes, the previous Guardian loses their memory?”

 

“I do know that rule,” Marinette affirmed grimly. “I do not like that rule. And I don’t see how it applies, since I haven’t lost my memory, and no one else was the Guardian during the exact time period I would like everyone to forget.”

 

“Maybe the rule doesn’t exactly apply,” Chat rolled his eyes, “but remember when you started making those charms for people?”

 

“There was no protocol for preventing future akumatizations, so I created one,” Marinette nodded. “But there wasn’t a rule against it either, and the Guardianship rules are pretty clear.’

 

“So? If you can create new rules, I get to break the rules I don’t like.”

 

Marinette was stunned. “Chat Noir, do you really think you can just do whatever you want and everything will work out?”

 

“Actually, yes.”

 

“It’s a nice idea, but the amount of work you’d have to put in to pull off something so crazy-”

 

“What do you think I’ve been doing all day? Besides talking about you, that is,” Chat smirked. “There’s a lot of good people in Paris, my lady. A lot of them were happy to not make any record of your identity. I’m sure Shadow Moth is not among them, but, well, the Miraculous Cure usually undoes damage, not, like, stuff that people made, right? Like, so consistently it might as well be a rule. I’m breaking that rule. Anything that got created today will be destroyed. Except, theoretically, things specifically gifted to you, like that bag of notes.

 

“And I know that usually there’s only one Guardian at a time, but I was thinking, since I’m breaking the rules to have a sort of temporary Guardianship, maybe it actually makes sense for there to be multiple temporary Guardians all sharing the temporary responsibility,” Chat continued. “I haven’t spelled this out to any one person until now, but when I very briefly and carefully handed over the Miracle Box to random citizens- I promise, princess, I was so careful- I did mention that they were representing all of Paris. I think I gave it to enough citizens that it really should work that way. And the timing isn’t exact, but I’m breaking that rule too. Instead of total amnesia, Paris will just forget about the day she was the temporary Guardian.

 

“So there are no digital records. There won’t be any physical records. And everyone will lose their memories of today even if they didn’t personally hold the Miracle Box for a few seconds, even though I didn’t get started with that until after the cat- uh, ladybug- was out of the bag. Any questions?”

 

Marinette stared at where their hands were still intertwined. “Will you forget, too?”

 

“Of course!” Chat said, before realizing she hadn’t been hoping for confirmation. “Well. Yes, my lady. I wasn’t going to try to leave myself out. You’ll be the only one who remembers.”

 

Marinette swallowed. She made herself release Chat’s gloved hands, and scoot backwards out of his lap so she could face him properly. She’d kept her eyes dry under the scrutiny of Confessor and Shadow Moth, and all of Paris, and in front of Chat for the last several minutes, but she couldn’t put off the overwhelming question any longer, and now her vision was too obscured to actually look at Chat Noir. Voice cracking, she asked, “Chat, before you lose the chance to tell me what you really think- you said you approved of the other heroes. Do you think it’s okay for me to be Ladybug?”

 

When Marinette managed to blink away her tears, she saw black claws cradling a very familiar small box.

 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” said Chat Noir, “this is the Miraculous of the Ladybug, which grants the power of creation. You will wield it for the greater good, and not return it to me ever, please. Will you accept it?”

 

With trembling hands, Marinette opened the box. The earrings glowed, and Tikki flashed into existence. They would need to talk later, but for now, there was only one answer she needed to give.

 

“Tikki, spots on!”

 

The aura of power faded after transforming her into Ladybug once more, but Chat Noir’s grin was just as blinding.

 

“Now, I believe we have an akuma to beat,” Ladybug said. Tears were streaming down her face, and for Chat Noir and Paris, she wouldn’t hold them back. “Have you figured out which object we need to break yet?”

 

“Oh, actually, I was hoping you had figured that out.”

 

It turned out they both had enough information to figure it out pretty quickly once they actually saw Confessor again, and the fight was quickly over.

 

Ladybug lingered over her Lucky Charm. The butterfly had fluttered away, purified, the victim was safe, and there hadn’t been that much damage done; no one was in danger. The hostages still waiting by the river could wait a while longer. The only time limit was the countdown on her earrings.

 

“So this is it,” she said quietly. “You renounce Paris’ temporary Guardianship, I invoke the Cure, and everything goes back to normal.”

 

“Whenever you’re ready, Marinette,” Chat said, but his smile was bittersweet. Apparently he’d picked up on her hesitance, and could appreciate it.

 

Ladybug took one of his hands. “Chat, now that you know who I am, do you still- no, I won’t ask that. It’s not fair.”

 

“I always knew I was in love with the girl behind the mask,” Chat said without flinching. “And I was right.”

 

Blushing furiously, Ladybug said, “Okay, I’m ready now. At the same time? Mira-”

 

“Wait, wait!”

 

Ladybug waited, cheeks still matching her suit.

 

“Sorry, I just realized- I never wrote a note for the bag!”

 

The overflowing sack of notes sat at their feet. Ladybug stared at it, then lifted her eyes to Chat. “You can’t be serious. You know you don’t have to do this, you’ve already told me how you feel. And you didn’t have to tell me that in the first place!”

 

“Nope, I know you. If you don’t have it in writing you’ll forevermore doubt what I really said, and I won’t be able to tell you again for a while. Just a second.”

 

Chat Noir scribbled furiously. The fire in Ladybug’s face did not subside. Her earrings beeped.

 

“Here!” Chat Noir said at last, breathless. He stuffed the letter into Ladybug’s hands, which were already occupied with her Lucky Charm and the bag, instead of into the bag itself. “On behalf of Paris, I renounce today’s temporary Guardianship!”

 

Without checking to see if it had worked, Ladybug tossed the Lucky Charm into the air. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

 

There definitely seemed to be more magical ladybugs than usual, hopefully because the Miraculous of creation cared what the wielder of the Miraculous of destruction thought about how it should work.

 

“Huh? Ladybug, was there a fight? We won, right?”

 

Ladybug laughed in relief and dropped everything but Chat’s letter, heedless of how the bag sagged and scattered the other letters, to fling her arms around her partner. He staggered, but returned the hug. “We won,” she whispered.

 

“What happened?” Chat asked, directly in her ear.

 

You happened,” Ladybug told him. “You are the most-”

 

“No, seriously, something seems different. About you. Did you get prettier or something?”

 

Grinning almost too hard to speak, Ladybug said, “Chat, you can’t even see me!”

 

“I don’t need to see you! I just know how I feel about you. Why did it change?”

 

“Someday I’ll tell you,” Ladybug promised him. “In the meantime you’ll just have to settle for me telling you how amazing you are.”

 

“Oh? Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

 

The ladybug earrings beeped again. Chat Noir pulled back a little in surprise to regard them.

 

“I should go,” Ladybug said reluctantly, letting her arms slip back to her own sides. “But you will be hearing about this, I won’t forget!”

 

And she was off, still with both tears and a smile on her face. She could confirm it later- as far as Paris was concerned, nothing had changed. But she had a sack of letters, and one letter in particular, that proved otherwise. Change was inevitable, but Chat Noir had glimpsed the future and not been afraid; with him at her side, Ladybug would never have to be afraid either.

Notes:

*gestures at chapter title* I know this joke has been made before. In other contexts, including other Miraculous contexts. But I still think it’s funny and so should you.

Fun fact, the document title for this story was “and we ALL say” because I love the interpretation that the song leader (Rum Tum Tugger=Ladybug???) is threatening the chorus into praising their special boy. You know that one post about hyping a lame boyfriend and making people clap for him? Yeah.

Notes:

Title and chapter titles are from “Mr. Mistoffelees” from the 1981 musical Cats (2019 movie whomst?). Except for Chapter Two’s title, which is. Not.