Archive of Our Own ^beta

In Past Africa, The Staff are all doing their stuff- Whisper’s straightening up his Curl, Pumbaa is eating bugs, Keemia is messing around with Piff The Second, and Shea’s reading. Timon enters, walking in with a crate. Whisper gets excited, thinking that he's going to move, and offers to help pack. To his disappointment, Timon has just brought a bunch of memorabilia from their past Mission from Clockwork. Pumbaa tantalizingly asks him to open it, and the three guys cheer when they unveil novelty hats. Whisper pulls out the Mighty Sword, but he tosses it away quickly when he starts to bore him. Keemia picks up a glowing crystal, the Mysterious Prism that can split people into five versions of themselves, each with its defining trait.

Timon recalls the many kisses he got from Passion Shea (A/N: No Pedopilla Here), and wanting more, he tosses it at Shea. But Whisper blocks it with his stick, and the gem bounces across the room and flies into Piff The Second’s mouth. Timon complains he wanted "smoochie smoochies" while Whisper starts collecting the five different colors of Piff The Second, lecturing how they shouldn't ostracize just one trait. "You take the good with the bad, that's what friendship is." Keemia feels ashamed for liking Purple Piff The Second the best. Whisper goes on about how Shea’s intensity, Pumbaa’s determination, Keemia’s strength, and Timon’s... hunger (there isn't anything good about him) would make the most elite, skilled team ever, which would be a dream come true. But he wonders if they would still be the Staff...no, even better! He springs a trap door for the purge.

In a dark detention cell, Pumbaa awakes underneath a single light to find Whisper walking up from a shrouded area. He starts reading questions about separating the bugs from the, but Pumbaa can't follow him- he just thinks about food. Annoyed, Whisper draws a specialized gun fitted with the Prism and blasts Pumbaa with it. 5 colored Pumbaas now sit before him, and Whisper going to isolate the best, ditch the rest. He starts with Magenta Pumbaa, the comedian. With a knock, knock joke, he gets rid of the jokester, as he would be detrimental to the team. Orange Pumbaa’s laziness doesn't impress Robin, and neither does the Yellow Pumbaa’s obnoxious and vociferous voice. Taking those two out, he moves on to Green Pumbaa. Addressing him by sir, Whisper is thoroughly impressed. Green Pumbaa can calculate all four steps in taking down an enemy at lightning speed, and his discipline is exceptional. With that, he is accepted onto the newly refurbished team. Nervously, Gray Pumbaa starts to pout, he didn't even get a chance to prove himself, but he is swiftly blasted away.

Whisper, with his new accomplice, interview the divided fifths of Timon. Green Pumbaa quickly analyzes that all of them are equal- no unique skills flourish from their lazy bodies. Cyan Timon speaks out that he's a little hungrier than the others, and Orange Timon is feeling a bit more tired. All the others start thinking about food, and Whisper questions which one has the best traits. Green Pumbaa remarks that all of them are useless on the field of battle, except for the means of a Meerkat shield. Pumbaa, with a large cannon, begins shooting a yellow-headed Timon, laser after laser. Whisper examines the maimed Timon and compliments him on the great idea. Yellow Timon’s excited, he just made the team- to take all damage!

After a long absence, the different colors of Shea return (A/N: since I’m planning to do my version of Colors of Raven Called Colors of Shea, which will be a prequel to this fanfic) . Pink Shea turns her chair into a unicorn, Red Shea smashes hers in fury, Gray Shea takes cover behind hers, and Orange Shea is just relaxing on her seat. Yellow Timon vouches for Purple Shea, who's fallen in love like his regular self. Whisper won't deal with her flirtatious manners though and zaps her. Instead, he appreciates the deadliness of Red Shea (whom he previously took on in a battle), especially when she starts clobbering Timon. Green Pumbaa agrees with the choice, and the rest are zapped.

Next, Keemia’s Emoticlones are assembled. Red Keemia seems to be the fiercest warrior of them all, as she is also tearing her chair apart. But Whisper isn't so quick to choose. With love interests in his mind (A/N: Like I said before, no Pedopilla here), he petitions all of them to marry them, holding a rose. All five heartily refuse his request. The blue/deranged Keemia temporarily gives him hope, but it turns out she just wants to tell about the time she wore tuna salad as a hat. Red Keemia it is.

Back in the living room, Whisper is admiring the newly refurbished team- Soldier Pumbaa, now decked in camo, gives him 20 pushups with pleasure. Raging Shea grabs Robin in anger when he introduces her. Savage Keemia, now with Forbidden Island war paint on, lets out a growl, wishing to bathe in the blood of her enemies. And Timon the Meerkat Shield serves Whisper greatly as a literal shield against Raging Shea’s powerful fists. All of a sudden, the crime alert sounds, and the Staff head out to meet the challenge in Present Day Jewel City... a plethora of crime is raging, but it's nothing that the new Team can't handle. Soldier Pumbaa launches a few missiles at Godzilla, Raging Shea snatches the Miami Beach 5 with her hellish appendages, and Savage Keemia loops around and splits Mandark’s Robot's head- from the inside. Yellow Timon is doing his job well, too. An array of bombs are fired at the Staff, but Green Pumbaa picks him up and slaps away the projectiles with his face. Although against his will, Timon continues to successfully bat them away with his bruised and bloody face. A short while later, upon a heap of fallen villains, Whisper takes all the credit for the new team's excellent teamwork.

After the battle, the elite Staff are stilled all riled up from all their crime-fighting. Green Pumbaa is doing handstand pushups, Red Keemia sharpening her crystal sword, and Red Shea enjoying the pounding of Yellow Timon. But Whisper starts to think; he misses Pumbaa’s antics, Keemia’s sweetness, Shea’s sarcasm, and Timon’s... well, he's pretty much the same person. But it doesn't matter, as he formed the best team ever (even surpassing the all-powerful Avengers)! He starts pulling some amazing dance moves in celebration, and Green Pumbaa militarily ensures him that he should keep it up. All of a sudden, a genius idea comes to Whisper... how about split himself up!?! His five courageous personalities, all on one team, would be unstoppable. Pulling out the prism gun, he zaps the others, returning them to their whole selves again, to inform them of his plan. Pumbaa and Shea, conscious of what they've been doing this whole time, think Whisper’s taking the whole split-up thing too far. But Whisper dismisses that idea and cracks himself in the face with the pistol.

Timon is horrified when a crazed Blue Whisper starts licking him, and Shea cringes when she recognizes the perfectionist Brown Whisper, who is delicately making sure every Curl is correctly combed. Red Whisper starts demanding Piff The Second to fess up to an unknown crime, and Keemia scolds the obsessive trait. He backfires that he's detail-oriented, and continues screaming at Silkie to talk. Gray Whisper crouches beside the couch, and Pumbaa theorizes that it's his paranoid side. And then the highly obnoxious Purple Whisper is marching around everywhere, shouting that they all need to "GO!" and fall in. He continues to complain that they never listen, and the Staff are most disgusted by this control freak emoticlone. Shea urges the need to bring Whisper back to his undivided self again, but Purple Whisper clutches the crystal gun before they can get hold of it, then traps them with chained cannonballs. Whisper then breaks the gun to make sure they aren't reassembled, but the prism flies out and is digested by Piff The Second again.

The only chance against Whisper’s tyranny, Keemia begs the five Piff The Seconds to stop the Whispers’ conquests. Yellow Piff The Second, the brightest of the group, leads them into battle... Barfy Piff The Second vs. Obsessive: a stream of vomit engulfs Whisper, taking him out. The next matchup is Lazy Piff The Second vs. Crazy Whisper; with the help of robotic legs, Piff The Second can kick the flailing armed Whisper outta the fight. Round 3 pits the Perfect Whisper, who can't help but fix his curl in the middle of a charge, against Purple/Passion Piff The Second, who pounds him with a kiss. Yes, that is effective. After that, Paranoid Whisper is cowardly running away from his match, Hungry Piff The Second. But he strides straight into his mouth, unfortunately. The final 1 on 1, between Yellow Piff The Second and Purple Whisper, takes place on the top of the Tower. Intelligent Piff The Second, encased in a pink suit of Piff The Second-styled robotic armor, ascends to the top of the base via elevator to meet the challenge. But some challenge; it's merely just a stare-off, followed by a battle cry from Leadership Whisper. He is easily crushed, all the way back to the lobby, where a buildup of knocked-out Whisper’s has amassed. The triumphant Piff The Second follows him down the hole and barfs out the Mysterious Prism, reconciling the Piff The Seconds and Whispers with each other and into the original, multi-emotional ones.

Whisper shamefully apologizes, saying he thought splitting up would be a lot cooler. But Pumbaa reiterates his word: "we're greater than the sum of our parts". But Timon isn't exactly all in with that logic. He finds the crystal and touches it to Shea, hoping to get a few smooches from Purple Shea. Instead, he gets another run-through with Red Shea, who gets his face crunched off-screen.