Archive of Our Own ^beta

1.

Logan was five years old when he first felt the pressure of something on his skin when he was alone in his room. It scared him at first because he shouldn't feel something touching him, but when he pulled his sleeve up, he saw messy red writing appearing on his arm along with a few doodles.

Many random lines and flowers appeared up his left arm, and on the back of his hand appeared a big heart. He was so confused, his five year old brain had no idea what to do. So, he scrambled out of his bed even though he was supposed to be winding down for the night and ran downstairs into the living room.

"Logan, sweetheart, what are you doing out of bed?" Mama asked, tilting her head at him. He simply ran over to where she was sitting on the couch and showed her his arm. She looked at it curiously before her eyes widened in realization and she smiled. "Oh, Logie! You're soulmate is writing to you!" She cheered.

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head in confusion. He was too tired and too young to know what a soulmate was. She seemed to catch onto this because she quickly pulled him into her lap, calling for Mother. Once she was there, they explained to him what soulmates were and what the drawings and writing were. He nodded and took mental note of everything so he wouldn't be confused later and could help anyone else who might get confused.

After that, his moms said goodnight to him again, each kissing him on the forehead before sending him back to his room to sleep. He made it to his room, rubbing his eyes a bit because he was sleepy. Before he went to bed, he quickly grabbed a marker from his pencil case, writing a simple 'hi' so they knew he was there.

He hoped it wouldn't confuse them, whoever they may be. He wasn't there to help explain.

2.

Logan was nine years old when he decided he hated his five year old self for ever writing back to his soulmate.

Maybe that was harsh, but his soulmate was so annoying sometimes. He knows that's mean to say and Mama would scold him if she knew he thought that, but he couldn't help it!

Logan would be trying to do school work or be actively sitting in class or be trying to relax and read a book he really likes when the writing would start. His soulmate— who did tell Logan their name but he refused to use it to refrain from getting attached to the person who made his life so hard— would try to start conversations with him or just start doodling on their arms and it would drive Logan nuts.

Sometimes, his soulmate was nice. Sometimes they would write nice things when Logan was having a bad day and he'd read them and smile, internally wondering how his soulmate always seemed to know when Logan needed to hear these things. He cherished those words and moments, writing them in a notebook he had started keeping for cute moments between him and his soulmate a few years ago. It was supposed to be a cute gift for when they met, but Logan wasn't sure about giving it away since he read through it so much.

Most of the time, his soulmate was just annoying, though. They kept trying to talk even though Logan never responded when they wrote to him during school or homework time or reading time. They were persistent, but Logan was stubborn.

One day, while he was sitting in class reading since he had finished his work already, the familiar pressure started on his left arm. He clenched his fists around the book cover, taking a few deep breaths and trying to ignore it. He really wasn't in the mood. But it kept happening and he kept getting more and more frustrated and the feeling made him itchy and he just wanted it to stop.

Finally, after a few minutes, he closed his book and grabbed one of his pens out of his pencil case— an orange gel pen from a set Mama gave him at the start of the school year. 'can you PLEASE stop writing to me while I'm in school? it's annoying!' He wrote on his right arm, grip way too tight on the pen. After a few moments, a simple message popped up. 'sorry' Logan took a deep breath and put the pen away, resuming his reading.

He didn't get any more writing the rest of the week. That shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did considering that's what he asked for, right?

3.

Logan was twelve when he noticed his soulmate really didn't have good self esteem.

They were constantly writing notes to themself, Logan could tell because the notes always used their name in them, and the notes were really mean.

Stuff like 'you should've known the answer to that, Roman, you idiot. you learned that already.' or 'you need to remember to shut up sometimes. no one wants to hear about random disney movies anymore. you're in 7th grade for crying out loud, Roman' or even 'you shouldn't have worn this today, everyone's staring at you. you look ugly and overdressed. you're making an embarrassment of yourself, Roman. you should know better'.

These notes upset Logan deeply. How could someone think so poorly of themself? Who was saying those things to them? It was troubling and he wasn't sure what to do or how to help, if he even could.

Then, one day, he remembered the notebook. He hadn't written in it in a while because Ro— his soulmate had stopped writing to him as frequently, but he still had it. He flipped through the pages, reading all the things they said to Logan when he was sad, and did his best to write things to his soulmate that he thought would help.

After a particularly bad day where more notes had appeared in the length of a school day than ever had before, Logan grabbed a dark blue gel pen and began writing little notes for his soulmate to wake up to. That was the plan, at least. He wasn't sure exactly when they went to sleep but he was hoping for the best.

'You aren't stupid for not remembering things or answering questions wrong. Failure is a part of life and how we learn. It's okay.'

'Many people like Disney well into adulthood and would love to hear random facts. You are always free to write them here, if nothing else. I am not that into Disney, but I am happy to learn.'

'People tend to be more in their own heads, focusing on themselves, rather than other people. I'm sure no one was staring at you or judging you, but even if they were, why do their opinions matter? Humans are flawed, and that is okay. People will like you even with those flaws, I promise.'

He started getting more messages after that night. And though he knew that a few words wouldn't fix all of his soulmates problems and insecurities, he hoped he helped a little bit.

4.

Logan was fourteen, a freshmen in high school when he wasn't written to for several weeks in a row. It concerned him. He didn't write back often, but he always made sure to tell his soulmate that he enjoyed reading their notes, comments, and messages to him and even liked their doodles. The frequent pressure indicating that they were writing something became comforting rather than annoying.

Then, one day, it all stopped.

Logan didn't know why or if he did something to cause the sudden radio silence but it stressed him out beyond belief. He tried writing to them several times, to no avail. They just.. didn't answer.

Six weeks of radio silence, not even a random pen line to let Logan know they were alive. Logan was going out of his mind the whole time, panicking just under the surface about whether or not they were okay. His grades started slipping for the first time in his life and it made his moms worried about him but he didn't know how to talk about it.

Then, one Saturday while he was trying to do some makeup work to try and get his grades back up, the pressure returned. It was sudden and made Logan jump, but as he realized what it was, a wave of relief washed over him and he felt his body more relaxed than it had been in literal weeks.

'I am SO SORRY for the silence, I broke my right arm and couldn't write and for a the first bit I was just sulking and that's why I didn't say anything but then I realized you seemed really worried and at that point I felt too bad to try and write anything and I am just so sorry. I should've said something way sooner but I got too in my own head and.. yeah. Sorry.'

Logan re-read the long scribble of words over and over, just processing everything. Roman was okay, he didn't hate Logan, he was safe. Everything was okay.

He didn't pretend to understand Roman's thought process, because he didn't, the whole thing seemed counter productive and really stupidly complex, but Roman was going through something so Logan couldn't expect his thoughts to be rational. He let Roman know that he was just glad he was okay, and things swiftly fell back into their normal routine.

Logan's grades quickly improved now that he wasn't constantly on the brink of a breakdown.

5.

Logan was sixteen years old when he realized that Roman had one area of school he struggled with the most. Math.

Roman was notoriously not great at school. Having ADHD and dyslexia made it really hard for him to focus on anything, especially long blocks of text. Despite that, his favorite subject was english and he loved to write. That confused Logan to no end, but if Roman wanted to make his own life harder with his passions, that's not Logan's business.

There were constantly notes appearing on Logan's body that were notes for school. Things he thought were important for history, page numbers he needed for english, fun facts he learned in science class, even his homework assignments. But the thing he wrote about most was math.

There were constant things about math written on Logan's left arm. Formulas, assignments, notes. So many math things. Things were underlined and circled to show that they were important to remember. Logan wondered why he didn't simply write these things in notebooks, but he never really felt like it was his place to question it. It didn't really bother or affect him in any way.

How it had taken him so long to put together that Roman needed more help with math than he did with other subjects will forever remain a mystery. Because once he finally realized it, it seemed so obvious.

Logan truly had no way to help Roman since they didn't know each other in person and only communicated through writing on their arms. He wished he could help, he was quite good at math himself, but he simply couldn't.

So, instead, he wished Roman good luck on assignments and tests and would correct his notes if he noticed something wrong. Roman thanked him many times for these, and Logan always assured him that it wasn't any trouble and he enjoyed helping. He truly liked helping Roman.

When Roman became known as Roman instead of Logan's soulmate in his head was something Logan couldn't pinpoint. He'd never admit it, but he maybe got attached to his soulmate after all.

+1

Logan was seventeen when his math teacher asked him to help tutor a student from one of her other classes. She said he had a lot of potential and she knew he could do the work, but he was struggling to grasp a few of the concepts and some help may benefit him. Logan agreed easily. He always wanted to help people.

So, there he was, sitting in the library after school, waiting for the person to show up. He had forgotten to ask for their name, so he hoped his math teacher had told them who they were looking for.

"Uh, you're Logan, correct?" A voice from across the table said, drawing Logan's attention. He looked up at a person with darker skin than he had and freckles dotted on their face. They had slightly longer hair than Logan himself had that was dark brown, though not quite as dark as Logan's. Their eyes were a shade of brown that almost looked red or orange at certain angles or certain lighting.

Logan nodded after realizing he hadn't responded. "I am, yes. You are?"

"Roman! Roman Kingsley, the person you're tutoring." Logan froze momentarily at the name, his brain quickly jumping to the conclusion that this was Roman, his soulmate. He quickly shut that down because that was incredibly unlikely.

"Ah, yes. Nice to meet you. Logan Henderson, he/him." He says instead of any of the thoughts in his brain.

Roman smiles and wow that is quite a nice smile. "The pleasure is all mine." They said, sitting down next to Logan. "I use he/him pronouns, as well." Logan nods, and the tutoring session continues from there. They quickly fall into a nice rhythm, and Logan could tell that Roman did genuinely want to learn, even if he sometimes became unfocused.

The end of the session rolled around before they knew it. "You are clearly very smart, Roman. I am quite impressed with all you managed to get done today." He said, offering a small but genuine smile.

"Thank you! You're quite a good tutor." He smiled back, much bigger than Logan's. Logan nodded, flushing a little at the praise. "Are you okay to do this again tomorrow or were you thinking a different day?"

"Tomorrow is fine. We will meet here same time, okay?" Logan says, and after receiving confirmation from Roman, he begins putting his stuff away. Roman does the same, but keeps out a red pen he had been fidgeting with when Logan wasn't talking to him.

"Once again, thank you so much for tutoring me. I already feel a bit more confident about this." Roman says, a bit sheepishly.

Logan shakes his head a bit, smiling. "No need to thank me. I enjoy being helpful." He says, standing. "See you tomorrow." He turns to leave, and out of the corner sees Roman go to draw on his left hand. Logan freezes a moment later when he feels the familiar pressure indicating his soulmate was writing on his left hand. He turns and sees Roman doodling something, and then looks at his own hand and sees the same doodle. A crown, something incredibly common for his soulmate to draw.

"Uh, everything good?" Roman's voice draws him out of his head. Roman looks confused and a bit worried, which makes sense considering Logan had began walking away and then stopped and turned around without staying anything.

Logan clears his throat. "Uhm, yes, sorry. I just.." He trails off, unsure of how to proceed. He should definitely say something, but what should he say?

Apparently, his brain decided on nothing as he walked back over to the table, grabbed the pen out of Roman's hand and quickly drew a line on his right hand. Roman looked much more confused at this before his eyes widened. They both looked at Roman's right hand and watched a line appear. The same line Logan had just drawn on his own hand.

Everything seemed to freeze for a moment before Logan was suddenly all but tackled in a hug. He stumbled back a bit but managed to remain standing and wrap his arms around Roman in return.

"It's so nice to finally meet you." Roman mumbles, and Logan smiles and nods in agreement even though Roman couldn't see that from the position they were in.

"The pleasure is all mine."