Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sam (the coolest and best person ever): seb
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): seb
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): sebastian
Sebastian: did you change your contact in my phone
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): nope it was always like that :D
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): are you coming to the saloon 2nite
Sebastian: sure
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): okay!! see you then!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sebastian smiled at his phone, Sam always knew how to cheer him up. Seb dragged himself out of his chair to get ready. Every day had felt longer than the last and he was barely keeping up with all his clients’ demands. He almost regretted not getting a normal job, usually you could just scrape by in those and hope you don’t get fired; but with programming you either do it perfectly or don’t get paid.

It was only 5pm, they usually meet at the saloon at 7pm so that gave Seb an hour and a half until he had to walk down the mountain. He really didn’t want to sit and stare at his computer for like an hour before getting dressed. Instead opting to get ready now, and smoke or something until he had to walk down. Sam was working and Abby had classes so they couldn’t just meet early, and there was no way Seb was going to talk to Shane anymore than a quick greeting. He threw on his normal black jeans and sweatshirt, fashion was never his specialty anyways.

“Hey Sebby! Can you grab some bread from Pierre’s before he closes?” Robin peered around the corner, probably in the midst of making dinner. “We need it if anyone wants to eat breakfast tomorrow.”

He tried not to groan, Seb was sort of looking forward to staring at the lake and smoking for a bit. “Yeah, I’ll be at the saloon tonight though.”

Robin was already back in the kitchen, her voice barely reaching the front of the shop. “That’s fine, lock the doors when you get back!”

“I will.” Sebastian trudged through the door, wishing he put on an extra layer. It was nearly the end of Fall; and soon enough their house will be surrounded by snow and Seb will have no excuses to leave his room. By the time he was at the Community Center it was already 5:30, he would make it in time but probably piss off Pierre for coming in so late. Making his way into the store, Seb grabbed his single loaf of bread and brought it to the counter.

“I was about to close for the night.. It's 77g” Pierre placed the bread into a grocery bag, one of those ones that just say “Thank You” when a store can’t afford its own branded bags.

“Mom wanted me to pick some up.. thanks” Handing some cash to Pierre, Seb was just about to walk out when he heard Abby from across the store; he seriously couldn’t catch a single moment of peace could he?
“Hey! I was about to go to the Saloon, you comin?” She bounded over, clearly ready to get away from classes for the weekend. Abby had originally joined an online college just so she had something to do, but it was a lot more work than it was originally made out to be. “Oh dude you look more dead than usual.”

Sebastian just shrugged following Abby into the Saloon as she ordered them some totally non-alcoholic drinks. He watched as she took up her normal spot in the corner, he seriously couldn’t remember the last time they drifted from their routine when they hung out at the Saloon. They all got there around 7, Abby sat in the corner making fun of them while Seb destroyed Sam at pool, then they left at 10. He tried to think of a distraction, maybe ask Abby how her commissions have been going or something, but there was this itch in the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite place.

Sam arrived just before 6:45, it was a good thing that Jodi always made him show early or Seb thought he’d die of boredom. “I watched some videos on some cool techniques for pool! I’m totally gonna win this time.” Sam walked into the game room full of confidence for something he was shit at only Sam could achieve.

“You say that every week, I don’t think you can ever beat Seb.” Sebastian grinned watching his friends banter, carefully setting up the table and giving Sam first move. He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind though, Seb seriously should’ve smoked before leaving he was so antsy and distracted.

“I told you!” He jumped as Sam yelled, believe or not he actually managed to win a round.

“Damn Seb you really have to up your game, Sam of all people beat you.” Abby walked over, giving only her most patronizing pat on the back.

“And what’s that supposed to mean? I’m not that bad at pool Seb is usually just really good” Abby snorted, leading to a mini argument ending in laughter after Sam called her a ‘wannabe pokemon gym leader’

“You okay man? You haven’t said anything all night.” Sam had genuine concern in his voice, Sebastian hated when he did that. Everyone knew that Sam cared a lot about his friends, and everyone in the town for that matter, but that he would probably fight Yoba for Seb.

“Yeah.. yeah. I’m gonna head out though. Tonight was fun.” Seb said blankly, nearly forgetting his bread as he walked out before his friends could complain about how early it was. It hadn’t even been 2 hours since Sam arrived but Sebastian really just wanted to be alone. He couldn’t shake off this jittery feeling and didn’t even wait until he was at the top of the mountain before lighting up. Seb could immediately feel his nerves drop, a calming warmness spreading throughout. He stood looking at the lake, he could just barely make out the bushes and bridge on the other side; the farmer said there was some sort of quarry there but he honestly didn’t care enough to hear the details.
Seb tried to be quiet on his way back in, he had sat out there for over an hour and everyone was likely already asleep. Dropping the bread off on the counter he crashed into bed. Sebastian didn’t know why he was so out of it tonight, maybe he needed to take on less work or something. All that mattered was that annoying itch was in the back of his brain and he was dead tired, checking his messages one last time he saw a couple from Sam,

Sam (the coolest and best person ever): hey yknow you can talk to me if you’re struggling with something
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): you mean a lot to me you know this

Was he struggling with something? Not really, it was just everyday stress right. Seb didn’t even respond before he passed out for the night.

Chapter Text

To be honest, Seb was kinda pissed. Saturday nights were the best time to go into the city to get cigs but since it was Spirits Eve he couldn’t go get any. They used to be sold at the General Store and even Joja for a bit, but that was before Seb smoked and nobody else in town does. He didn’t even know why this was annoying him so much; Spirits Eve was always his favorite town event since he got to scare Sam and Abby without getting yelled at for it, plus the Wizard always dragged out some weird creatures from the mines. This time it just felt different, Seb has been irritated in general lately and found himself craving more smoke breaks and consequently going through more cigs. He used to be able to go days without smoking, only doing it when really stuck on a program or just when bored, but now it was a part of the routine, and a part he couldn’t bear to get rid of.

His pack was near empty. By weight he could tell there were no more than 6, and by memory there were 4. How many were there last night? Before he left the Saloon? Seb wasn’t sure, more than 4. It didn’t matter though, now there were only 4 and he needed to go to the city soon. Now would be good, very good actually. His mom would get on his case though, plus Maru would chastise him and rat he was still smoking to Harvey. Seb had gotten very good at avoiding the town doctor, it's like the whole apple a day thing, except instead of an apple you just hide whenever you see a doctor. It’s close enough to the apple a day thing.

The day crawled by, Sebastian had been ignoring the constant itch in the back of his brain. He had opted not to smoke all day, which turns out is fucking dreadful. It was 8:30 now, he could just go smoke for a bit and dick around by the lake until he wouldn’t get chewed out for going to the festival too early. But that would mean he would barely have any for tomorrow, and if he smoked like he normally does to calm down after dealing with the entire town at the festival he’d have none. Seb knew better than to just smoke one, one always turned to two and two usually turned into three or four.

It was already 9:08 now. He hadn’t even realized so much time had passed. That’d been happening a lot lately, zoning out stressed over work or craving a cigarette and somehow at least 20 minutes had passed. Might be a good thing though, at least tonight he could work on becoming slightly presentable and wander down to town without having to sit and wait any longer. A shower wouldn’t be the worst idea, and he had to change out of sweatpants anyways.

By the time Sebastian had showered, dressed, checked he grabbed his cigs, put on shoes, checked for his cigs and lighter, scrolled through Sam’s texts over how he was ‘totallyyyyy’ going to get through the maze this year, and checked (just in case) he had his cigarettes on him, it was 9:47 and he would be officially late to the event. Not enough to get complaints by anyone but Sam and Abby though, and that was pretty good for Seb given his track record for ‘being on time to stuff he didn’t want to do.’

“Fuckin finally, thought you were going to abandon us.” Abby announced louder than necessary, granting her the gift of unamused stares by everyone in town older than 40.

“Thought about it but I would never hear the end of it. Plus I wanna see how long it takes for you to get too terrified to go on and for Sam to give up on the maze.” He fidgeted with the lighter in his pocket. Crowds were never much of Seb’s thing and even if it was an actually good festival it got stressful. Didn’t help that his brain had been yelling at him all day to smoke and he refused. Best case scenario for the night is he avoids everyone and rots in the corner, hoping nobody gives enough of a shit to notice him freaking out.

“I’m actually gonna get it this time I swear, the farmer was the first ever person to complete it since the Wizard took over last year so at least now there’s a chance.”

Sam started to ramble on all his ‘theories’ on how the farmer did it and where he had to go; each and every year Sam would make it almost to the end but hit a wall (literally) and be stuck unless he went back to the beginning. It was endearing honestly, Sam could ramble on for hours if anyone let him and they usually pulled Seb out whenever he started to zone out or overthink.

“We’re burning moonlight if you actually plan on getting through it this year,, I’m not gonna abandon you on the spiders. I'm a big girl now.” Abby grinned, showing off her (lack of) muscles to further the point.

“Uh huh. You two have fun with that, I’m gonna stare at the skeletons and see who gets drunk first this year.” Seb waved them off and walked away before he could get complaints of not going in the maze with them. Every year Sam begs for Seb to join them and every year he says no. Abby jokes that he’s just too scared but honestly? It’s more because he has to deal with talking to everyone else their age since almost everyone tries the maze. Most of the ‘real’ adults in town either ignore Sebastian or talk some gossip and stare before leaving him alone. Which was much more preferable to making small-talk. Much, much more preferable to small-talk when all Seb wanted to do was drive out to the city, chain-smoke for a bit and then sleep for ideally 20 hours.

Sebastian felt dead, probably looked it too. Maybe he’d fit in better with the stuff from the mines the Wizard dragged out. Poor things, they usually weren’t even that aggressive, just territorial and ever since the new farmer had been out murdering them they hadn’t been too keen on being friendly with townsfolk. It was pretty much taboo to leave a festival early, but it was nearly midnight and Seb was pretty sure he could slip away without 10 different rumors being made as to why.

Climbing over the shitty little festival fences Seb started back up the mountain. It was instinct that he started smoking but Seb really needed it. It felt like his chest was caving in on itself, Sebastian felt dizzy and sick and. Why was he having a panic attack right now? Nothing had happened. All he did was stand around a bunch of people for a couple hours. Sebastian’s vision was blurry from tears forming but he knew the trail back well enough not to trip. He felt like an idiot. All he had to do was get through the event, head home early, drive into the city and pick up cigs before everyone came back from the event and he’d be fine. Alternately he just needed to get through the event, get through tomorrow, and pick up more tomorrow night. But instead his head was spinning and he was already smoking what he had left.

“It’s fine. You’re fine.” Seb’s voice was no more than a whisper. Call it affirmations or some shit. He didn’t even bother changing before falling straight into bed and crying for Yoba knows how long and passing out.

Sam (the coolest and best person ever): dude whered you go
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): you were right we didnt get through it
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): abby totally abandoned me
Sam (the coolest and best person ever): night man you better actually be sleeping