Archive of Our Own ^beta

What Was

“Keep them closed, my little moon.” Will’s breath was hot and his voice raspy against Orym’s ear. It was a familiar feeling, and one Orym wanted to hold on to forever. “Just a little longer.”

He kept his eyes shut, used all the training he worked so hard on to tamp down the impatience. Patience was his thing, but sometimes Will made it extremely hard. The thought made him snicker.

“You know, most people would be self-conscious if their spouse laughed at them while they were setting up a romantic atmosphere.” Will sounded amused, and Orym knew his eyes were crinkled at the corner with his grin.

“Good thing you’re not most people then,” Orym said, eyes still closed as requested. This was a familiar game they played, him and Will. “Maybe I’d laugh less if you let me see what you were doing.”

“Just for that, you can wait a little longer.” Will’s voice was warm and teasing, and Orym couldn’t help the smile. Even without being able to see his husband, he could picture the look on Will’s face. No one had ever or would ever look at him the way Will did when he was equally fond and exasperated. “Maybe I’ll make you keep them closed all night. Maybe I’ll stop fucking you every time you open them. Maybe–”

Orym’s patience broke then, and with a slight bend of his knees, he lept into the air and into Will’s waiting’s arms, always there to catch him. His eyes were still closed, because he knew Will would be there. “You wouldn’t dare, Big Moon,” he said, biting down on Will’s lower lip. “Can I open them now?”

Will kissed him back for a long moment, took his time with it. “Yes. Open your eyes,” he murmured against Orym’s lips.

Orym opened his eyes and –

***
What Is

–Blinked awake in the unfamiliar room. It took him a minute before he remembered where he was. White Stone. Sharing a room with Fearne. Waiting for…well. Just waiting.

He looked out the window where Catha was a bright crescent hanging low in the sky, Ruidius cradled between the two points. It didn’t bring him the comfort it once had, now that he knew what hid there. What had once been a teasing, comforting nickname for him had taken on an almost sinister connotation.

He pushed that thought away and wiped the tears from his eyes as the dream memory faded. He turned on his side, away from the window, and cuddled into Fearne’s back. He matched his breathing to hers, but still found sleep illusive.

It had been a long time since he’d thought of that particular moment in time, though it was a favorite, and though Will’s face was clear as it ever was in his head and the feel of his lips was as real as they had been that night, he couldn’t quite remember what Will had been hiding. What had the surprise been? Flowers? Fairy lights? Breakfast in bed?

He tossed to his back, chest tight, as he fought for the memory. It had to be there.

“Candles,” he gasped out, too loud. “It was candles.”

Beside him, Fearne stirred. “Orym? What’s wrong?” She reached for him even as she sat up, leaned against the headrest. Her hair was a wild mess of curls, and he thought he saw something shiny hidden among the mass. Something she’d stolen? Probably.

“I’m okay, Fearnie. Just a dream.” He let himself be cuddled, rested his head on her breast. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s ok. I was having dreams too.”

They lay there in silence for a minute, then two.

“I just miss him so much.” He didn’t have to elaborate on who he meant. Fearne would get it. “Some nights are harder than others.”

He felt the brush of her hand through his hair, the brush of her lips against the top of his head. It was nice. Comforting. His Fearnie.

“Thank you.”

Her voice was soft, less dreamy than it sometimes was.

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Coming back. Leaving him. Hearing me.” He felt her take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was so scared, Orym. That you wouldn’t.”

He let out a breath of his own, then shifted so he could see her face. She had tears in her eyes and if he had to guess, he’d say she looked both mutinous and guilty.

“It was hard. Leaving him. I won’t lie about that. But…I’m not done here. I need you as much as you need me, and I wasn’t ready to go.” He paused for a moment, considered. “I might have been. A year ago. Before I met you and Dor…the other Crown Keepers. Before Bell’s Hells. But I came back, and I’ll keep coming back as many times as I have to.”

Her face turned from regret to an almost fierce satisfaction. “Good. Because I stole you, so you’re mine.” She tightened her arms around him. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Fearnie. Let’s go to sleep.”

She made a sound of agreement, and this time when he closed his eyes, he didn’t dream.

***
What Will Be

“Okay. Open your eyes.”

Orym had a vague sense of deju vu when Dorian spoke, memories of so many nights with Will coming back in a wave of beautiful memories, before they gently faded and left him in the here and now.

He gave himself a moment, then opened his eyes.

“...Dorian.”

Dorian had arranged everything on the bed. The ropes, the slick, the toys. Everything they’d talked about but never acted upon. Orym felt his body flush with anticipation.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Orym grinned, moved toward the bed. “Well then. Let’s get started.” He looked over his shoulder at Dorain, who was flushed and hard already. Eager. Orym wanted him so badly, it was hard to concentrate on the gift he’d been given. “Let’s see how patient you can be.”

Dorian grinned back at him, walked forward until he was just in front of him. Dropped to his knees in a way that made Orym’s breath catch.

“Beautiful,” Orym said, reaching up to tuck hair behind Dorian’s ear. Even on his knees, he was taller than Orym by a good bit. “Thank you.”

Dorian grinned down at him, though Orym saw a hint of anxiety there. “Don’t thank me yet. I might be really bad at this.” His cheeks were stained purple with his blush, and Orym leaned up to press his lips against the hot spot.

“You don’t have to be perfect for this to be good. It’s going to be good because it’s us.” Schmaltzy, but true. “And we still don’t have to do anything. Not if you’re uncomfortable.”

Dorian shook his head. “No. I want to see what you look like tied up for me. I want to see how long you can last.”

Orym grinned, went in for a kiss. A long, dirty kiss that let Dorian know just how badly he wanted this. “Then let’s get to it. I am, after all, known for my patience.”