Chapter Text
“Spock, just stop it. Dammit man, just because Jim is not here for another two hours that doesn’t mean you can treat people like this! Why the hell did you release her of duty?”
Spock took McCoy’s arm and promptly dragged him in the ready room.
“You may not raise your voice at me while on the Bridge!”
“I may not? You have some nerve, Mister Spock! Well let me tell you this, I am not intimidated by your Vulcan glare! Nor by the fact that you are in command. Now let me hear the answer to my question. WHY was Lieutenant Uhura relieved of duty when she was already under emotional pressure?”
“She was not performing her duty due to the fact that she was emotionally unwell.”
“She was CRYING, you green-blooded computer! And why was she crying, please?
“She – “
“Because you broke up with her!”
“Doctor, why are you issuing questions if you are going to respond to them yourself? Perhaps you should return to Sickbay and have monologues. It would be far more efficient.”
McCoy’s face turned red with fury.
“The only reason preventing me from hitting you is your rank.”
“Doctor, I think you can no longer – “
“Don’t. Even. Dare.”
Leonard McCoy’s fury was not something you wanted to experience every day, even if you were a Vulcan.
“If you are so concerned about Lieutenant Uhura’s emotional state, why do you waste time here instead of attending to her?”
“Because at this point, Commander, your own emotional state is far more dangerous to this crew than Uhura’s heartbreak is to herself.”
“Doctor, I do not have an emotional state. Please refrain from – “
“Pardon me, you are absolutely right. Being a robot, there is no way in hell you have an emotional state. Why did you have to play with that extraordinary woman and break her heart?”
“Doctor – “
“No, really now. Why?”
“My personal life is none of your business.”
“It is, if it impairs your judgment!”
“How dare you…”
But he had to stop mid-sentence as his communicator chimed on the level 1 frequency, which meant there was their Captain who was transmitting.
<Kirk to Spock, acknowledge>.”
“<Yes, Captain.>”
“<My shuttle arrives early. I have requested clearance from the Bridge but to no avail. Where are you?>”
Spock rushed to the Bridge and issued clearance for the Captain’s shuttle to dock in Shuttlebay II.
“<Is Doctor McCoy with you?>”
“<Affirmative.>”
“<…because I contacted Sickbay earlier and there was no response. So you are not on the Bridge and McCoy is not in Sickbay, I presume there is a reasonable explanation?>”
They stared at each other, guilt and anger flowing freely between them.
“<We were in a conference in your ready room.>”
“<Oh?>” – Jim seemed interested. “<I am looking forward to listen to the computer recording. Kirk out.>”
“Now you’ve done it.”
“I have done what, Doctor?”
“Nevermind.”
McCoy took his medkit and went to greet the Captain in the Shuttlebay.
He got quite a glare from his best friend, but he ignored it and continued to scan him, according to the procedures.
“I hope, for your and Spock’s own good, that you have not been fighting again. I will listen to all logs.”
“Jesus, Kirk, stop it already. Yes, we were fighting. We are always fighting, We are not compatible.”
“Bones. You don’t HAVE to be compatible with Spock. You ain’t marrying him, man! All I am asking is that you grant him a minimum of respect! You challenge each word he says! He is my First Officer, damn it!”
“He does the same!”
“Really now! You are provoking him deliberately. He is a Vulcan! Those are not provocative people. They are the masters of diplomacy!”
“Sure, Jim. Just watch when we return to the Bridge.”
“I will be all ears.”
They returned to the Bridge. Spock stood up and offered him the Chair.
“Welcome back, Captain.”
“Thank you, Mr. Spock. Report?”
“We are on route to Dakala as ordered by Starfleet. We shall pass through an uncharted nebula. I recommend precautions.”
“Noted.”
Kirk sat on the Commanding Chair, McCoy took his usual place behind him.
Spock went towards his station.
“So you can also be silent”, he said to McCoy on a low voice.
“What?”
“Perhaps you should have your hearing checked.”
“Oh, you are a Doctor now, Mr. Spock?
Kirk stood up and approached them, his eyes narrowed.
“Both of you in my office. Now.”
They followed Kirk, but on their way there, Spock glared at McCoy:
“To quote you, now you’ve really done it.”
“Who started??”
Kirk closed the door and looked at them:
“You will stop this nonsense right now. Both of you are on report for unprofessional behavior.”
“Captain – “
“Jim hold on – “
“Silence, both of you! This has gone too far. You are Starfleet Officers! Ever since the beginning of this mission, all you do is fight. It has affected your work, your ability to function as a team, your judgment! I can understand a choleric behavior in a human, but you, Spock? You are Vulcan! And I believe I have just observed a deliberate act of provocation from you towards McCoy.”
“I was merely attempting to ascertain…”
“You were trying to get a reaction out of him! If I didn’t know better, I would actually believe you are in love with each other.”
Embarrassment in all forms and colors overwhelmed the two men in such a manner that none of them was able to articulate a word.
“You will both apologize to each other.”
Both of the looked as if they had been sentenced to death and they had to speak their final words.
“Doctor McCoy, you start. Apologize to Commander Spock.”
“What for? He sta-“
“Now, Bones”, Jim said dangerously.
“Fine, wow. My apologies, Commander.”
“Please receive mine as well, Doctor.”
“Now let me see you shake hands!”
“NO” – the two men responded in unison, Spock because he was dreading physical contact, and McCoy because he didn’t even want to think about touching Spock.
“NOW”, Jim thundered.
The two reluctantly shook hands, horror and disgust clearly written on both their faces.
“Commander Spock, since you are in charge with the crew schedule, you will modify it accordingly so that your shifts do not ever overlap with Doctor McCoy’s for at least one month.”
“Captain if I may – “
“You may not. Dismissed, both of you.”
They could not remember when was the last time they saw Jim Kirk so angry.
Later that evening, after the shift, Jim went to have a drink and a game of chess in the Recreation Room. He found Spock on one of the couches, staring at a padd. That man never stopped working.
“Mr. Spock! Good evening.”
“Captain”, Spock replied coldly.
“Let’s play a game.”
“Of chess?”
“Of… chess, of course, what else? Unless you’ve given Poker a second thought.”
“I have not.”
“Thought so.”
Spock came closer to the chessboard and started arranging the pieces. They started playing, Spock was overly silent.
“You are upset”, Jim noticed.
“Yes, Captain, I am.”
“I did not put you on report. And I did not put him either.”
Spock raised his head from the board:
“Indeed?”
“Yes. I would not do that to my best friends. I just wish you would overcome your differences and… well, get over them.”
“That is, unfortunately, not possible, Captain.”
“Why?”
“We are too different. We are – how should I say, like two antigrav units. Rejecting each other completely.”
“I thought there are no such things as incompatible beings. Isn’t that illogical, Mr. Spock?”
“Yes. It is. It must be because I am half human.”
“The other half is made of concrete”, McCoy said, who had arrived unnoticed and had heard a part of their conversation.
Spock turned towards him and gave him a look that would freeze anybody’s blood.
“Don’t start…” – Jim pleaded.
“Start what, Captain? HE started.” – Spock stated.
“Oh no, oh no”, Jim said, effectively pulling his own hair.
“So much for your Vulcan control. You go crazy when you see me entering the room. I must really piss you off.”
“Doctor”, Spock said warningly.
“Ok, Jim, calm down”, Jim told to himself. “You are not on duty, let them break their own necks. Toddlers. Two toddlers having tantrums.”
Spock stood up and casually started walking towards McCoy who started walking backwards.
“I would suggest”, Spock said, “that we avoid being in the same room. At least this way we could… exist.”
“Fine.”
“Wow, they agreed on something”, Jim continued to talk by himself. “They must be really sick.”
“I shall see that our shifts do not overlap.”
“Good, do so. Also, I shall assign you a new doctor.”
“Good.”
“Good.”
“Good!” – Jim snapped. Are you done? Now may I PLEASE have a quiet evening?”
“You may” – both of them told Jim.
“Thanks? Spock, let’s move our chess game to my quarters.”
“Very well, Captain.”
Spock enjoyed spending time with Jim, who was thrilled by the perspective. Perhaps, just perhaps, Spock would finally understand that he wanted more than friendship… that is, if he and Bones did not end killing each other eventually.