Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright, guys! Who’s ready to ride the Leo Express for our biannual Pizza Marathon! Chew-chew!” Leo cheered, pumping a fist in the air which was eagerly answered by Mikey and Raph’s own whoops.

“Ugh, Leo Express? Really?” Donnie said, unimpressed as he pulled up a map on his phone of all the pizza places in the city, especially the new ones.

“Oooh, boy! This time for sure we’ll get every single shop!” Mikey enthused, rubbing his hands together. “We were so close last time!” He pinched two of his fingers a centimeter apart.

“Yeah, we totally would’ve had it if someone hadn’t insisted we took a detour!” Leo said with a pointed look towards Raph.

“It was a bank robbery, Leo,” Raph deadpanned, crossing his arms.

Leo scoffed with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Let the cops earn their salary for once. Anyway, let’s get this show on the road!”

“Okay, I’ve calculated our route. As per usual, we’ll start in Manhattan, up to the Bronx, down into Queens, and finally to Brooklyn,” Donnie said as his brothers gathered around him to peek at the map.

“Actually, I’m thinking we should include Staten Island this time,” Leo piped up.

Incredulous stares all around.

“I know, I know, trust me, I do,” Leo said with a placating motion of his hands. “But as much of an afterthought as it is and possibly in league with New Jersey, it’s still one of the boroughs, and we can’t say we’ve conquered every pizza place in the city if we don’t do Staten Island too.”

Various grumbles and groans filled the air between them as the other three hemmed and hawed over it.

“C’mon, you know we’ve gotta do it eventually,” Leo wheedled in exaggerated resignation.

They all slumped.

“Fine, you’ve got a point,” Raph conceded reluctantly.

“Aw, man!” Mikey interjected.

“Donnie, redo our route.”

“Sigh, if I must,” Donnie said with a woe-be-me roll of his eyes as his fingers worked at lightning speed on his phone. “Okay, route is the same as before except we go to Staten Island at the end. We go from Tompkinsville to Tottenville.”

“Cool, we good with that, guys?” Raph asked.

“Yeah, uh, I’m thinking we knock off Staten Island first,” Leo said, raising a finger.

“Why? We’re already in Manhattan. It makes the most sense to start here,” Donnie objected.

“We’re going by portal anyway. It doesn’t matter, so we might as well,” Leo said with a shrug.

“But my route takes into account whether we’ll even need to go to Staten Island by the time we’ve hit the other places.”

“Wow, giving up before we’ve even started?” Leo said, crossing his arms and leaning on his heels.

Donnie bristled.

“I’m not ‘giving up’,” he said with an air quote, “I’m being rational. Unless you want to visit Staten Island for the scenic blah.”

“We’re going there purely for the pizza, Donald, not to sightsee the one tiny, smelly zoo they have,” Leo drawled, flicking Donnie’s nose which earned him a glare.

“I’m aware,” Donnie said with the beginnings of annoyance, swatting the air between them even though Leo had long retracted his hand. “However, we have limited space in our stomachs, so visiting the better places first is the most sensible choice.”

“Yeah, but do you really want to end our run on Staten Island?”

“If we end our run.”

“That’s quitter’s talk.”

“No, you incorrigible sop, that’s pragmatic talk.”

“Guys, guys!” Raph shouted above them, yanking them apart from where they’d gradually started getting into each other’s faces until they’re nearly butting heads. “Look, we’ll do a coin toss. Heads for Staten Island first, tails for last, deal?”

No way was he letting Leo and Donnie choose heads or tails. They’d fight over that too.

“Ugh, Fine,” Leo agreed, throwing up his hands as he dangled by his shell.

“Whatever,” Donnie grumbled sulkily from Raph’s other grip.

“Toss Time it is!” Mikey announced, digging out the quarter from his shell and holding it up as the sacred object it was for moments just like these, and there were indeed a lot of moments like these. Neither of them dared argue with the results when their youngest brother was the one who delivered them. Dr. Delicate Touch didn't take no complaints.

Mikey prepared the toss, ignoring the two sets of intense eyes fixed on the coin as though trying to psychic it to obey. He flipped the quarter into the air. He did a spin and caught it again between his hands, grinning as he kept his antsy brothers in suspense for a little longer before finally opening up to reveal… heads.

“Yes!” Leo cried to the background of Donnie’s groan. “Suck it!”

“Alright, the coin spoke! We hit Staten Island first,” Raph said, putting them down.

“Ahem!” Leo sliced his katana through the air, opening a familiar blue portal. He gestured towards it with a bow. “Gentlemen.”

Raph and Mikey went in. Leo added a gloating smirk towards Donnie who returned it with a jab of his elbow to the plastron as he passed.

“Oof. Hey!”

Leo quickly followed Donnie through. They stepped onto the empty roof of their first stop. Empty as in where were Raph and Mikey?

“Uh, Raph? Mikey? Did they go in without us?” Leo wondered, scratching his head.

“Leo, the portal!” Donnie gasped, pointing behind him.

Leo spun around to see that it’d turned into a weird magenta, the color swirling in a lazy vortex. With a crackle of energy, the circular portal wobbled and contorted before finally closing with a sharp snap. Leo gaped.

“What the…”

Leo sliced another portal. It was the normal blue-white it should be. He went through it. The lair was empty. He returned. The roof was still empty of any brothers save Donnie who was already typing furiously on his tech armband.

“What was—That wasn’t—Did I just get portal-jacked?!” Leo paced towards Donnie and shook him by the shoulders. “Did someone just kidnap Raph and Mikey?!”

“If you’d just… stop… shaking me, I can find out!” Donnie snapped, slapping away Leo’s anxious hands to continue crabbily doing his work. “Hmm, their trackers aren’t responding.”

Leo spluttered and narrowed a cross look at him.

“Trackers? Dude, we talked about this!”

“Well, they’re coming in handy now, aren’t they?” Donnie rebutted, fiddling once more on his armband. “Anyway, I managed to get a brief scan of the portal before it disappeared. According to my preliminary analysis, there’s a high concentration of flux particles and gravitational accelerants which—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, science thing, very interesting, Donnie, but what does it mean?” Leo interrupted, eliciting an irritated sigh.

“It means that whatever portal-jacked you…”

The annoyance-compounded worry within Donnie wavered as the possibility his analysis presented before him began to truly set in. It wasn't to the point of unbelievable. After all, he was aware parallel dimensions could exist but freaking dimension-hopping there? It was still so doubtful that he needed a second, no, third analysis, more instruments to measure the anomaly, further research and experiment… He needed more data, solid numbers to describe the phenomenon he captured. Before then, he was uncomfortable stating what amounted to a hypothesis as fact before he had more to work with. But if it was true? If it was true... it'd be the scientific breakthrough of the century!

“Sure, keep me in suspense, Donnie. Not like Raph and Mikey could be kidnapped by, oh, I don’t know, bloodthirsty sharks with chainsaws who want to eat them or something!” Leo exclaimed impatiently, throwing up his hands.

The reminder of their missing family tamped down Donnie's growing excitement.

“Look, I don’t have all the facts, okay?” he said, giving up explaining to his less science-facing brother. “We need to get back to my lab where I can study your sword and grab some tools so I can accurately find out what happened to Mikey and Raph. Then, I can find a solution.”

The flesh under Leo’s skin itched, probably from the restless mystic mojo being churned by his own reluctance to sit around and wait while his brothers were who knows where possibly hurt. But he knew Donnie was right.

“Alright, fine. Let’s get back to your lab,” Leo agreed, lifting a sword before hesitating. What if another portal-jack happened and he lost Donnie too?

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I’m just thinking maybe we should catch the ferry home instead?” Leo proposed semi-hopefully.

Donnie came to his side, glanced at him, and slowly said, “I’m about… 86% sure it won’t occur again. I read a massive amount of energy equivalent to a day of the entirety of New York’s electricity consumption during summer, so it’s not really easy to open.”

It’s still a 14% risk which is 14% more than Leo wanted to make. But time made haste. Every second they wasted could be another second Raph and Mikey were in danger.

So, he opened the portal and grabbed Donnie’s unresisting hand tightly before taking a deep breath and jumping through, only releasing both when they made it together in the lair safe and sound.

Donnie assessed Leo for a second to ensure he was alright as well before nodding and making his way to his lab with clipped strides. Leo followed quickly after him, clutching his sword tightly in his hand.

They were going to fix this.

“Phew, thanks for the save! What were those weird brain things anyway?” Raph asked as they broke free of the infested building Mikey and he found themselves in after something in Leo’s portal went haywire and dumped them in a room full of those… whatever they were.

“They’re called the Kraang, and they want to take over the world,” the turtle youkai with the purple mask said.

“So like every other alien movie?” Mikey asked as they jumped up onto a roof and started running.

“Aw, man! You have no idea! They have flying saucers, lasers, and everything!” the yellow masked turtle exclaimed, waving his arms. The red turtle next to him ducked with an aggressive growl when the flailing nunchuck nearly hit him on the head.

Stars practically burst in Mikey’s eyes.

“Whoa! We’re in an alien movie!”

“Oh no, we gotta tell Donnie and Leo!” Raph cried, not as keen on the idea as his younger brother.

He fumbled for his phone but froze when the group of four in front of them suddenly screeched to a halt. They turned and stared at him, causing Raph to shift uncomfortably.

“What? Was it something I said?”

The turtles glanced at each other in uncertainty before the blue turtle said, “I’m Leo.”

“And I’m Donnie,” the purple turtle added, raising a hand.

Raph and Mikey gawped.

“What?!”

Chapter Text

“And you’re sure this isn’t going to blow us up or anything?” Leo asked uncertainly, prodding the metal framework of the makeshift portal Donnie had hastily erected.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Leo. It’s not going to blow us up,” Donnie dismissed as he added the final inputs on the computer connected to the machine. 

Leo relaxed.

“It’s more likely to atomize us or strand us in the planes between dimensions where we’ll slowly—”

“Great! Thanks, Donnie!” Leo interrupted loudly, slapping his hands over his ears and throwing his head back as he tried to un-hear the horrible fates they could meet if this went wrong, and considering it’d barely been tested, it was a real possibility. He shuddered.

“You asked,” Donnie said mildly.

Leo shot an annoyed look at the back of his fat head. His very targetable head. He aimed a bolt.

“There! Coordinates locked! All that’s left is—” Donnie swiveled around and arched a brow. “What’re you hiding?”

“Nothing,” Leo said quickly, tossing the bolt aside behind his back. He leaned against the portal, smooth and suave. “Anyway, you were saying?”

Donnie stared at him suspiciously for a moment longer before continuing, “As I was saying, all that’s left is an energy source. I’ve mentioned it before, but a trans-dimensional portal requires a metric ton of energy to work.”

“Oookay, so where can we get that energy?”

Donnie rubbed his chin.

“Hmmm…”

Several minutes later, Leo was at the Crying Titan.

“Dad is so going to ground us if he ever finds out,” he said gleefully as he filled up canister after canister of Empyrean and tossing them through his portal.

“Eh, what daddy dearest doesn’t know won’t hurt us,” Donnie said, unbothered as he emptied the canisters into a tank before throwing them back across the portal in a steady take-out delivery stream of pure youkai power, 100% concentrate, pulp free.

The gateway began to hum with mechanical life. 

“Yes! Live, my pretty! Live!” 

“You’re doing that mad scientist thing. Does that mean it’s live?” Leo asked, perking up.

“Almost… One more cylinder should do it…”

With a loud crackle and a brilliant flash, the previously empty gate filled with solid magenta light. Strands of white and purple drifted across, vanishing, and reappearing in its depths. 

“It’s working! It’s ALIVE! I’m a genius!” Donnie laughed, dancing around the lab. “Yeah! Woo! Leo—!”

He turned only to come face-to-face with the lens of a phone. His expression pinched.

“No, no, keep going. Don’t stop on my account,” Leo sniggered.

“You’re deleting that,” Donnie stated.

“No way! This is prime blackmail material! Why would I—Hey!” Leo cried when the video unexpectedly deleted itself. He glared waspishly at Donnie bearing a smug grin while holding his own phone. 

“Don’t hack my phone,” Leo said, holding the device against his plastron protectively.

“In case you’ve forgotten Leo, I was the one who upgraded it in the first place. I don’t have to hack it to have access,” Donnie returned flippantly.

“Dee! Privacy! Ever heard of it? Not cool!” Leo squawked, scandalized. 

“No worries, I don’t want to go through your phone with all your hideous selfies anyway.”

Leo let out an offended gasp.

“That’s exactly what someone with no taste would say! I’m suh-mokin’!” he said, licking a finger and putting it against his side with a hissed sizzle. “My fans love me.”

“What fans? Also, don’t we have brothers to rescue or something?” Donnie reminded, steering this ridiculous conversation back into focus.

Leo glared at him before reluctantly redirecting his attention to the portal.

“Yeah, yeah, so can we go now or what?” he grumped.

“Yes, but I should mention that once we’re through, we won’t necessarily have a way back since there’s a high likelihood that transporting our solid masses into another dimension will overload the portal, untested as it is,” Donnie said, sidling up beside Leo and staring into the bright wall with brows furrowed in some trepidation but also a pinch of excitement.

“Okay, so it’s a one-way ticket. No biggie. If they kidnapped Raph and Mikey, they can un-kidnap us,” Leo said with a shrug of way-too-tense shoulders.

“Right,” Donnie agreed with a clipped nod. “Another thing is that while I tried to set up spatial coordinates to the roof of that pizza place, we might not necessarily land on it. A lot of unknown variables of dimension-travelling could affect where we end up.”

Like stuck in the wall of a building or in the middle of Times Square or in front of an incoming subway or—

A familiar, warm weight dropping across his shoulders broke him out of his intrusive thoughts.

“Don't want to add 'being separated' to the list of things that can go wrong, right? Now, on the count of three!” Leo said boisterously.

Donnie wrapped an arm around his brother as well, summoning his staff and praying that holding on was enough to keep together. Leo tightened his hold, heart beating fast with adrenaline as he unsheathed his own weapon. Who knew what waited beyond? He had to be ready.

“Ooonnne! Twoooo…”

He heard Donnie suck in a subtle breath as though about to speak.

“Threego!” Leo cried.

Donnie let out a yelp as he shoved them both unceremoniously through the portal. No second guesses and no hesitation, not when all that could be done was done, and the only thing left was to leave things to chance.

A brief flash of white later, their feet touched the smooth, cool floor of a spacious, circular white room containing weird machinery in the middle with something that resembled one of Donnie’s computer terminals. It was hard to process the sight with the dozen or so… guns(?) suddenly pointed at them by chrome robots with what looked like a giant wad of chewed pink bubblegum stuffed in their stomachs.

“The ones known as the turtles has infiltrated the place in which the Kraang—”

Leo’s thrown sword sliced the robot’s head clean off.

“Capture the ones known as the turtles!”

A barrage of lasers converged on their position, but Leo had already teleported high above with Donnie who manifested small homing missiles and launched them. The robots didn’t even have time to look for their targets before they exploded.

Leo and Donnie landed again only to let out a shout when beady yellow eyes suddenly popped into existence with a small squeal on the pink blobs that upon closer inspection actually looked like brains.

“AW! EW! WHAT IS THAT?!” Donnie shrieked, recoiling in disgust and clutching his staff against his plastron.

“I DON’T KNOW BUT IT’S SO GROSS!” Leo yelled in agreement, holding up his katanas like they were bats ready to be swung down on an unsuspecting cockroach. “IT’S LIKE ONE OF THOSE HEADCRABS!”

“AAAAH! KILL ‘EM! KILL ‘EM WITH FIRRRE!” 

Donnie pointed his staff at the spooked brains and released a torrent of flame with a snarl. If they were squealing before, they were absolutely screeching now as they burst out of the robots and scuttled in a flurry for their lives.

“BRAIN CHESTBURSTERS!” Leo wailed.

“BUUURN!” Donnie howled as he chased them out with the flame.

Leo ran around the other side of the room to catch any stragglers, swinging his sword wildly with a battle cry. It didn’t take long to clear the room of the shrill brains.

They waited to see if the brains would return to make a home out of their stomachs like they did the robots or something. Satisfied they wouldn't after a minute, Donnie turned to the thing that caught his eye the moment he arrived: the mysterious machinery.

“Fascinating,” he murmured, going up to the terminal and examining it while Leo prodded a broken-down robot with a katana.

“I wonder what kind of messed-up youkai those brain things were,” Leo said, scanning the floor and brightening upon spotting a laser weapon. He put away his swords to pick it up with an excited giggle, eyes running eagerly over it before aiming it at a wall and fumbling for the trigger. It fired, leaving a charred circle on the otherwise pristine surface. “Ooohohoho, this is so sweet! It’s just like Jupiter Jim!” he squealed.

“If you shoot yourself, I’m not helping you,” Donnie said distractedly as he felt his way around the controls, ignoring Leo’s insulted protest that he wasn’t going to. He didn’t think he could tear himself away right now even if he wanted to, and he really didn’t want to.

This technology wasn’t like anything he’d encountered before. It was amazing! How did it work? What could it do? He wanted to pick it apart and make it better. Ooh, the challenge of it all! He could hardly keep down his giddiness.

A loud alarm suddenly blared through the room as red lights flashed.

“Uh-oh, um, Donnie? Hate to break up your geeking but maybe we should go?” Leo said nervously, turning the gun at the metal doors.

“Not yet. This could hold the answers to where Mikey and Raph are,” Donnie said, not pausing his movement across the pitch black interface. “The portal dumped us here, and I detected the same flux particles and gravitational accelerants here as I did on the roof.”

“You mean they could be captured here,” Leo caught on as the doors slid open to let in a stream of brain robots that he immediately blasted to pieces.

“Could be, but I need more time to work out how this tech works,” Donnie replied, keeping his attention solely on the console even as Leo intercepted a laser bullet whizzing towards a purple head with a blade.

“I gotcha, bro!” Leo dumped aside the gun, his markings lighting up as he unsheathed his second sword. “Neon Leon, baby! Hya!”

He appeared in the robots’ midst in a blur of blue and green, cutting out a semi-circle of the robots like a scythe harvesting wheat and teleporting away with a laugh when the lasers aimed at him took out their comrades instead.

“Gotta be faster than that to touch this shell!” Leo taunted, taking out a swath more, teleporting off in a similar manner when the robots fired at him again. Any shots towards Donnie were redirected to the robots via portal as Leo ricocheted between them like an errant rubber ball.

Still, the robots kept pouring in, seemingly endless. Leo kept them busy, but it wouldn’t be long before their sheer number overtook his skill.

As if sensing that, Donnie exclaimed, “I got it!”

“You got it?” Leo hollered back, dropping a pile of sliced robots onto a cluster with a crash just as loud as the many laser blasts.

“A third, to be precise, but it’s enough to pull up a blueprint!” Donnie replied, twirling his staff to both signal Leo and to give him some time to get out of the way.

His brother obediently launched himself from the course of a rocketing purple missile that absolutely plowed the robots crowding the doorway and the hallway behind, destroying the wall with a boom and leaving behind a blackened crater. The air filled with the terrified screech of the brains as they frantically scurried away and an acrid smell wafted from the explosion.

“We’re underground; two floors. We’re on the first. No indication where Raph or Mikey are,” Donnie summarized as he led the way. “There’s a master computer downstairs I’d love to take a crack at.”

“Well, in that case, guess we gotta clear out this… hive mind, eh? Eh?” Leo chortled, nudging Donnie whose face scrunched.

“No,” he rejected stonily, blowing up the robots in the way with more viciousness than warranted.

“Aw, c’mon! You know we gotta get ahead of the enemy,” Leo continued, waggling his eye ridges and incidentally pushing his luck as he deflected lasers shot at their backs before teleporting to take out the shooters.

“Nardo, I swear to pizza supreme…” Donnie growled, aggressively waving his staff spewing flame with one hand, cowing the brains within the robots from acting, while the other worked a control panel beside a set of double doors.

Leo abruptly teleported into Donnie’s personal space right in front of his face.

“We’re doing so good, we don’t even need to skullk,” he said with the most infuriating smirk he could manage.

The ding from the doors were drowned by Donnie’s incensed shout of, “THAT’S IT!”

The doors started to open only for the elevator and the unfortunate robots occupying it to be immediately blasted through the ceiling when Donnie unleashed a huge missile at point blank. It just barely missed Leo who only stopped his mad cackle to whistle down the obliterated shaft when he casually walked back to Donnie’s side from the short distance he teleported away.

“Wow, Donnie. You could've done that since the beginning and saved us some time but didn't?” Leo asked in feigned incredulity, voice quaking with laughter. 

He patted Donnie’s shoulder at the withering look he got in return before jumping down.

“Stupid, intractable, insufferable, dumb-dumb, shell-for-brains…” Donnie continued to mutter insults as he followed sulkily after, leaving behind the remaining frozen robots who somehow emitted a sense of gaping dread in their expressionless faces.

After a long moment, one of the robots finally said, “… Contact the Kraang immediately to evacuate the hidden place that is hidden and to approach the ones known as the turtles that are dangerous with a caution that should be extreme.”

A rumble beneath their feet told them it might be too late.

The alien known as the Kraang turned to his remaining fellows slowly.

“The action to the memory of what was previously said should be to delete. Every Kraang for Kraang.”

Each robot nodded.

“Agreed.”

With that, they turned and ran.

Chapter Text

They made it to the main computer without much incident. The robots seemed to have thinned out which made things a lot easier.

The main computer and its room wasn’t much different from the one they started off in except both were bigger.

“I see they dig the minimalist style, but they really need to hire an interior decorator or better yet, install a skate park!” Leo said, tapping a sword against his shoulder while Donnie made a beeline for the machine. “So, you figure out what the Brainiacs are using this place for?”

Donnie’s fingers froze just above the console. He slowly turned to Leo with a flat look.

“Brainiacs?”

“Yeah! Came up with it a while ago,” Leo replied with a teasing grin. “Genius, right?”

“They already have a name, Leo. They’re the—”

“Brainiacs! Like I said.”

Donnie spluttered before slapping a hand over his forehead.

“You know what, call them what you want,” he grumbled, hunching his shoulders and returning his attention to the console. Picking battles is an essential skill when spending an extended amount of time with Leo who lives to get a rise out of people. “But I am not calling them that.”

Too bad his back was turned when Leo’s grin widened at the challenge.

“So? What’s this place for?” Leo asked again.

“Some kind of research center,” Donnie mumbled.

“For what?”

A long stretch of silence, and Leo knew he'd lost his brother to his new toy. Fine with him.

He took the opportunity to explore a bit. Besides the broken-down robots and the lack of Mikey and/or Raph, there wasn’t a lot in the building; just rooms with lot of other computer-things and containers of gooey, glowy, green stuff that looked radioactive. They’d probably make a rad lava lamp but Leo knew better than to handle that stuff without protection or knowing what it was. Contrary to what Donnie thought of him, he wasn’t that impulsive or stupid. He was smart enough to be impulsive and stupid with Donnie so he couldn’t call him out for it.

He left the forbidden Play-doh slime alone but the guns? There was so much fun to be had with those.

He collected an armful and returned to the main computer room, humming. Once he arrived, he dumped everything save one on the floor.

Donnie was still where Leo left him an hour ago which was time enough to cut him off and plug him back into reality.

“Oh Dooonnieee~ Looky what I fooound~” Leo sing-songed, thrusting the gun in Donnie’s nose which made his brother blink at the sudden obstruction, his lips pursing in annoyance. Before he could shove the gun out of the way and berate Leo, he continued. “Don’t you think that with some mods, this gun would look exactly like the one from Jupiter Jim Across the Nebula?”

Donnie’s mouth lost its rigid line. He squinted at the gun as his metallic hands retracted back into his battle shell.

“Hmmm, I suppose…” he slowly agreed with growing interest, holding up his hands to take it only for Leo to snatch it away with a smirk. 

“Hey!” 

“So, what’d you find out?” Leo asked, leaning the gun over his shoulder and jiggling it tantalizingly.

Donnie shot him a dirty look before begrudgingly replying, “This facility is a research center for something called mutagens that turns any organisms into mutants with a single touch.”

“Ugh, they have to have that here too?” Leo complained, throwing his head back in exasperation.

“Yes, but that’s the least interesting aspect of my findings,” Donnie brushed off with a flick of his wrist. “From what I can infer from their notes, these aliens—yes, Leo, aliens like in Jupiter Jim—they’re trying for specific mutations. For what, I don’t know yet.”

“Do you even need to ask?” Leo said with a scoff. “To take over the world, duh! Just like every other alien movie in existence! C’mon, Dee! I thought you were smart!” Donnie opened his mouth in affront to argue, but Leo railroaded over him. “Anyways, priorities! Who cares about some alien invasion? Where’s Raph and Mikey?” 

“Well, their trackers are still not responding, so we can’t find them that way, and they’re not here, that’s for certain, but there are several other bases just like this all over Lower Manhattan and one in,” Donnie shuddered in disgust, “the bay. It could be that they’ve been transferred or dropped elsewhere, but if they were, there’s no record as to where. Also, I am smart because I don’t jump to conclusions based on fictional alien movies,” Donnie said, turning to fully face his brother.

“In that case, I guess we don’t have a choice but to bust into them until we either find Raph and Mikey or one of the Brainiacs cough up their locations,” Leo sighed, taking the gun off his shoulder. “Also also, why else would the Brainiacs be researching and making mutagens that screws everything over? It sure as hell isn’t a ‘we come in peace’ gift basket. You don’t have to be a genius to have common sense, Donald. I’ll bet you twenty on it!”

“Not necessarily. They have a main base in the exact location of Big Mama’s hotel. From what little I can hack, the top floor is where all the executive orders are handed down. The rest of the floors are mainly robot assembly, repair, and maintenance. Also also also, for all you know, Earth is the perfect setting with the perfect specimens for the research they’re attempting. But you wouldn’t know because your idea of science is how many eggs Raph can stuff into his mouth without breaking any, so bet accepted!”

“It was like a hundred,” Leo snickered, reaching for his phone. “I have pics! Wait, no.” He shook his head. “I was going to say we have two options. One,” he held up a finger, “we use your tech wizardry to get past the security systems undetected, capture the head honcho, interrogate him, knock him out, and sneak back out with no one the wiser like the ninjas we were trained to be, or two,” he raised a second finger with a mischievous glint in his eye, “we Operation Retcon.”

Donnie perked up.

“Operation Retcon as in Jupiter Jim and the—”

“The very same.”

Donnie jittered with anticipation.

“With an entire—”

“Oooh, yeah! You better bet your shell there’ll be!” Leo exclaimed, sidling next to Donnie and throwing out an arm to indicate big-ness. Donnie’s eyes grew almost twice as large along with the grand motion to match the vision he saw of their future endeavor. “They’ll be the centerpiece! The piece de resistance! A way to announce to the multiverse that no one messes with the Hamatos and get away with it! So?” A wicked grin overtook Leo’s face. “You in or are you in? We won’t get another opportunity like this aga~aain.”

“Say no more, brother mine!” Donnie said, holding up a hand. His own mad excitement began to spread over his own face. “I am all in!” 

“That’s what I like to hear! Now…” Leo shoved the gun into Donnie’s delighted arms and unsheathed his swords. “Let’s get this show on the road! Where’s their biggest weapons depot?”

Another day, another uneventful time tuning and delivering the multitudinous weapons for the Kraang until a circular blue-white portal opened in their midst and two turtles burst out.

“ALL RIGHT, BRAINIACS! HAND OVER YOUR ROBOTS AND WEAPONS AND ONLY SOME OF YOU WILL GET HURT!” Leo proclaimed dramatically, pointing a sword at the dumbstruck aliens. “Haha, I always wanted to say that,” he said to Donnie who didn’t even look at him before blasting the nearest Kraang.

It shrieked and slid out of its robot. The rest of the aliens jolted out of their daze to raise their guns too late. Leo was up close and personal enough to use a blade to efficiently pop three of the Kraang out of their metal cases like he was prying oyster meat from the shell while Donnie continued to blast every Kraang he saw as though it was a carnival game with a prize of several tons of life-sized toys to tinker with. His mouth already watered at the prospects.

“The hidden base that is hidden has been breached in a way that is unknown by the ones known as the turtles that are dangerous,” one of the robots stated in a monotonous tone that belay the hint of panic its words conveyed.

“Alert—”

Donnie blasted them both in the face

“Oh no you don’t,” he said just as blankly, almost bored.

“There’s an Earth saying that goes ‘snitches get stitches’,” Leo informed the trembling Kraang he’d wrangled to one side. “You know what it means?”

One of the Kraang let out a tiny peep as though to say no.

“It means anyone who tattles on us gets the business end of Donnie’s gun, whoops!” Leo cried in fake shock when his brother shot at the floor a mere centimeter from one of the Kraang who let out a wail, shrinking into itself by tucking its tentacles beneath its globby body.

“Sorry, I got too excited,” Donnie droned. It wasn’t entirely a lie made to keep the Kraang compliant. He absolutely itched with the urge to keep shooting the cool alien weapon to test it out more; to gather more data on its power, the shot frequency, the range… everything.

“Well, there you go!” Leo said cheerfully. “So be good little brain alien things and teach Donnie the ins and outs of your tech, would you? Oh, I should warn you that if you try any funny business, Donnie will know, and he’s not nearly as nice as me.”

He gestured to the dozen or so aliens lying on the floor, purple liquid pooling around them.

The Kraang collectively cringed and gulped. They didn’t dare look at Donnie.

It took a good five hours for him to learn his way around the new programming and technology. He used his newfound knowledge to hack into the security system to disable all the alarms. It took another three hours to completely reprogram the intact robots scattered throughout the room to move independently with a simple AI.

As a test run, he sent out the new androids glowing Donnie’s signature purple to take over a separate room where the parts for some long-distance laser cannon were being assembled.

“Hmm, targeting and reaction speed need some tweaking. I should also install better defense systems,” Donnie mumbled to himself near the room’s entrance, eyes glued to the holographic screen his modified armband projected where bundles of numbers scrolled up representing each androids’ performance.

“Hahaha! This is great! Fight, fight, fight!” Leo hooted from near the ceiling where he hung holding up his phone with one hand and a sword stabbed into the wall with the other.

“You better be getting good footage,” Donnie called up to him over the sound of lasers. “I’ll need to review it later.”

“I totally am!”

In the end, the androids needed some help from Leo to clear out the room without damaging too many of the robots or too much of the equipment in the room and before too many of the androids themselves became unsalvageable.

“Leo, what is up with your video? It keeps jumping around!” Donnie complained at the end of it all.

“I kept my eye on the places with the most action,” Leo replied, resting an elbow on his brother’s shoulder as he peered at his phone with pride. “Awesome, right? No need to thank me.”

Donnie shrugged him off and pointed to the video in slight agitation.

“This is almost unusable! I need the camera to focus on a specific few androids at a time at different angles—”

“Okay, Dee. Next time, I’ll just clone myself and—oh, whoops! I forgot I wasn’t Raph for a second there!” Leo said with a loud slap of his forehead before directing a deadpan stare at Donnie. “My bad.”

“Sigh. Fine, point made.”

With the parts from the newly conquered room, Donnie made a few drones. He converted their new spoils into what Leo referred to as Dontrons, much to his chagrin, and used some of them to begin turning the assembly room into a makeshift workshop of his specifications so he could focus on improving the remaining androids. One of those improvements was a way to convert robots to Dontrons by forcibly plugging themselves to the robots, delivering an electric shock to eject the Kraang, and then reprogramming the robots directly.

“It’s like zombifying but with robots!” Leo commented.

The next test run, the Dontrons fared much better, and with the additional footage gathered from the drones, Donnie fine-tuned his creations.

After that, all bets were off. The Dontrons were only about a quarter of the Kraang’s numbers but the alien team no longer had control of their security systems or large weaponry. Coupled with the Dontrons’ downloaded knowledge of military combat in close quarters, group coordination, strategy, and robot-zombifying, the Kraang were either eliminated or run out within the hour.

“You go, Donnie! Phase one success!” Leo cheered holding up a plastic cup of juice he got from who-knows-where.

“Well, I am a genius, after all,” Donnie bragged loftily, bumping his own cup against Leo’s.

They both chugged it in one go, throwing the emptied cups over their shoulders.

“Now…” The twins turned to the veritable army standing at attention in front of them in neat rows, not a millimeter out of line. Leo slashed a portal. “Phase two.”

“We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for breaking news! What appears to be a robot army is marching down the streets of Downtown Manhattan!”

“Ah, just like every other night,” Michelangelo chuckled, pulling out a piece of pizza from the box next to him.

Leonardo, however, immediately grew concerned.

“The Kraang must be up to something again. We have to go—”

“It appears they’re converging at the TCRI building!” the news anchor continued.

“Huh, well that’s weird,” Donatello commented.

“Why?” Mikey asked from where he sat cross-legged on the floor next to Michelangelo.

“TCRI is the Kraang’s main base,” Donatello explained. “It makes no sense for them to march towards their own base in the open like that. Granted, it is nighttime, and there’s a lot less people, but generally, the Kraang don’t make such big movements so publicly like this.”

“Hey, don’t the Kraang look a bit different somehow?” Raphael said. 

“Oh yeah, you’re right. They do look a bit different, like they’d been modified. They're glowing purple instead of pink-ish,” Donatello observed, squinting and leaning towards the TV from his position on the couch. “Their weapons also don't seem to be the standard weapons they usually wield.”

"Ooooh! Their guns look exactly like the ones from Jupiter Jim Across the Nebula!" Mikey gushed.

"What's—”

Someone spat out their water seconds before there was a loud, drawn-out gasp, and Raph skidded in front of the screen at a speed even Michelangelo couldn’t achieve during a caffeine high (never again). He grabbed the TV and nearly smushed it to his face.

“Hey!” Raphael barked in protest. "Down in front!"

“Oh no… oh no, ohnoohno!” Raph mumbled to himself in panic.

“Um… what is it?” Leonardo asked cautiously.

Raph turned his head, but his gaze was directed at his little brother.

“We left Donnie and Leo… alone…” he whispered with an almost reverent fear that Mikey’s face began to reflect as he slowly stood.

“They don’t know we’re not captured,” Mikey squeaked, eyes wide and swimming in dread as he clutched his head. “Oh no.”

The other four blissfully ignorant turtles shared glances of befuddlement.

“So we tell them. No big dealio,” Michelangelo said, biting into his slice.

Mikey and Raph shot him pitying looks before the latter started to enlighten these poor, sweet, summer children. 

He put down the TV and pointed to it as he explained, “That robot army was made by Donnie, our Donnie, the Donnie who can get a bit, y'know, chainsaw-happy, so to speak.” He paused to let that sink in. When expressions of incredulity surfaced on most of their faces, Raph continued. “And they could've only made it to the streets so suddenly because of Leo, our Leo, the Leo who only escalates things til it all crashes and burns if you let him get away with it. Now imagine what they can do with that army; with Donnie’s smarts and Leo’s ideas.” 

When their faces had twisted into an appropriate level of dawning horror, Raph nodded gravely.

“Glad you're gettin' it.”

“When Donnie and Leo team up like this, they never do anything by halves,” Mikey whimpered with a shiver, biting his nails. “They’d throw down with God and win.”

“That’s why we got this golden rule in our household: never leave the twins alone, and especially never in a situation they’d agree on something. Normally, it ain't a problem 'cause Leo loves taking potshots at Donnie and gettin’ under his skin, and Donnie gives as good as he gets but when they’re not at each other’s throats…”

He gestured at a video of Donnie’s army breaking through the building’s gate with relative ease.

“Whoa, your brothers are hard-core, dude!” Michelangelo admired. 

“That’s not something to praise, Mikey. Who knows what innocent people will get caught in the crossfire,” Leonardo said, shooting up. “Everyone, get in the Shellraiser. We’ve got two tornadoes to chase.”

Chapter Text

“Let it go, Leo,” Donnie grumbled in exasperation high up on the rooftops observing the edifice in front of them through the zoom function of his goggles while his beautiful android army laid siege to the enemy base.

Leo, crouched next to him, didn’t let it go.

“But how can Little Italy not exist here?!” he ranted, waving his binoculars around. “It’d be like if Wall Street was only a junked ATM with a mysteriously sticky number pad and a Starbucks that serves gas station coffee; why bother?! Which considering this world’s sorry version of Chinatown is—”

A hand slapped over his mouth.

“First of all, Nardo, that doesn’t make any sense. Second of all, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to release a video of you wiping on the skateboard, face-planting into a dumpster, and getting your eyes scratched out by a cat,” Donnie hissed, quickly snatching his hand back before Leo could lick it.

And because it was impossible to get one over Donnie when it came to blackmail wars, Leo could only pout as he went back to surveying the battle in front of the TCRI building. Donnie had all its schematics down to the position of every security camera, Kraang patrol route, and of course, Mastermind’s (endure it, endure it, his twin was a dumb-dumb) lair which gave Leo a general idea of where to teleport into. They could move at any time, but they needed the perfect moment to do so.

A part of the building abruptly exploded out in a dazzling orange burst, hacking chunks of concrete to the ground below. Leo stood with a stretch like a satisfied cat in a sunbeam.

“All right, I think that’s pretty good,” he said, tossing the binoculars towards his brother’s battle shell, which opened a compartment to receive it, and unsheathing his sword.

Donnie settled his goggles back onto his head. His fingers danced across his wristband. Once he finished, he nodded.

With a slash, Leo opened a portal. Together, they stepped through to a pandemonium of red, blaring lights and frantic robots stampeding around like headless chickens in what seemed to be a control room with giant cannon-looking things. Their arrival was hardly noted in the panic until Leo grabbed a passing robot, and spun it to face him.

“Take us to your leader,” Donnie commanded imperiously.

“Or else,” Leo added.

They grinned wide with matching menace.

The robot raised its gun which Leo disarmed with a yawn.

“You should know who we are by now, and you should also know that resistance is futile,” Donnie said. “If you don’t want your base completely overrun in approximately an hour, you’ll hurry it up.”

Other robots with their weapons up and Kraang in small spaceships joined their comrade, but they didn’t shoot, turning to each other uncertainly instead.

A robot approached them from the back and informed, “Kraang’s glorious leader, Kraang Prime, shall meet with the ones known as the turtles that are dangerous.”

“Now we’re talking,” Leo said.

On cue, the giant screen above the room that’d previous displayed some weird alien landscape flashed to a close-up of a giant frowning Kraang face except this one had three hexagons on its forehead. Leo sucked in some air between his teeth.

“Whoa, yikes. Waaay too close. I feel like my personal space was invaded,” he said, clutching himself with a shudder.

“Huh, I didn’t think it possible to find someone even less photogenic than Leo is,” Donnie quipped dryly.

“Hey!”

“Ah, the ones called the turtles that are dangerous. We finally meet,” Kraang Prime said with a sneer. “You have caused one too many problems and obstructed Kraang's magnificent advancement one too many times.”

“Oh, so you can speak normally!” Leo exclaimed. “Listen, Mastermind, we don’t really actually care about your little alien invasion or whatever.” He flapped his hand flippantly. “All we want is our brothers.”

Kraang Prime paused in surprise.

“You are not here to stop Kraang?” it asked slowly.

“Oh please, if we wanted to stop you, we would’ve already, but we have better things to do than deal with you,” Donnie said condescendingly.

“Yeah, so where are they?” Leo asked, tapping his sword against his shoulder in slight threat.

Kraang Prime put an eye close to the camera and stared down at them.

“Can you not do that? It’s kinda freaky,” Leo protested.

Seemingly satisfied that they spoke the truth, Kraang Prime replied, “Perhaps I shall tell you if you do a favor for Kraang.”

“Nope,” Leo denied cheerily, slashing the air diagonally in front of him to emphasize his refusal. “We’re not here to stop you, but we’re not here to help you either, and we’re not really the bargaining types. That’s Raph's deal but he’s not here. Y’know. ‘Cause you kidnapped him.”

His bright smile was like a knife cut across his face.

“If anything, it should be you who complies with our demands,” Donnie said, bringing up a holographic image of the TCRI building with blackened holes blown out like it was Swiss cheese all over its bottom portion with more being steadily made up the building. “You have about forty-four minutes left until takeover.” He looked up dully at Kraang Prime who was gritting its teeth. “I suggest you don’t waste any more time.”

“Clock’s ti~icking,” Leo sang. “What’ll it be? Years of hard work or kaput? Your choice.”

Kraang Prime emitted a low growl before spitting out, “Kraang does not have them.”

“Really?” Leo drawled skeptically with a raised ridge. “Then where are they?”

“Kraang does not know,” Kraang Prime gritted out.

“Wooow, that’s sad,” Leo snorted, folding his arms. “You guys’re supposed to be advanced aliens or something, but why bother kidnapping anyone if you can’t even keep track of them or if you lose them?” He let out a disappointed sigh with a shake of the head. “You give aliens everywhere a bad rep.”

“Insolence!” Kraang Prime roared. “The ones called the turtles would have been beneath Kraang’s notice if not for the deal to deliver the ones called the turtles to the one called Shredder!”

A cold Arctic gale blasted through Donnie and Leo, freezing their core in ice cold dread as they stared at the alien leader. They didn’t speak for a long time.

Picking up on this, Kraang Prime grinned nastily at them.

“Who knows what the one called Shredder has already done,” it mocked with a sadistic laugh. “Perhaps you brothers have already—”

“Phase three,” Donnie and Leo declared abruptly.

They nodded grimly to each other. The TCRI hologram vanished as Donnie pressed something on his armband.

“Your pathetic actions are futile!” Kraang Prime informed smugly. “Kraang has already learned to counter your insignificant tampering of Kraang’s army, and Kraang will take back what is Kraang’s!”

“Oh, please do,” Donnie said, somehow coming off as viciously vindictive despite his flat tone. “Because I’ve programmed a little special hidden gift to any Kraang who manages to hack their machines back and attempt to go for a ride in it.”

Kraang Prime’s eyes widened before narrowing into a glare.

“What did you dooo?!”

“I set them to explode,” Donnie replied bluntly.

“Hold off your excitement ‘cause that’s not even what the real fun is,” Leo added helpfully over Kraang Prime’s shriek of, “What?!”

There was a sudden flurry of activity from behind the semi-circle of Kraang holding their guns up to Leo and Donnie.

A robot ran up to the front to inform, “Glorious leader, the bases that are Kraang’s are being what is known as taken over by a means which are unknown. The bases that are Kraang’s are turning against Kraang.”

”WHAT?!” Kraang Prime screeched again in abject anger. “Which ones?” A long hesitant pause had it booming, “KRAANG DEMANDS TO KNOW WHICH ONES!”

“Yes, supreme leader… The number of bases that are what is known as taken over is… all of the bases that are Kraang’s.”

If robots could faint, this one was probably on the verge of doing so.

“IMPOSSIBLE!”

“Oh please,” Donnie said disparagingly with a slight downturn of his lips and a cross of his arms. “The only edge you had over me was the fact it’s foreign tech, but once that’s cracked, your systems have no detection for or defenses against abnormal activity whatsoever including viruses. I could’ve hacked your bases in my sleep. Even your pet project, Technodrome, was child’s play. Expect your toy to completely self-destruct in T-minus five minutes, by the way.”

Kraang Prime stared at him speechlessly.

“We’d thought you’d make things difficult for us but ohoho! To think you’re actually in league with Shred-head!” Leo laughed mirthlessly. “In that case, all bets are off, Brainworm. You just officially made the Hamato shit-list.” He gave a thumbs-up. “Congrats!” He pointed it down and let out a raspberry. “We’re going to make sure you’re choking on it like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet!” He lifted his sword. “So, wanna tell us where Shredder is? It’s not going to stop us from screwing you over buuut—”

Kraang Prime let out a scream of rage that had all the other robots and Kraang flinching.

“CAPTURE THE ONES CALLED THE TURTLES!”

But it was too late. Leo and Donnie had already vanished through a portal, leaving behind nothing but the echo of Leo’s laughter and Donnie’s droll, “Enjoy.”

They returned to the rooftop they were previously on. The number of holes punctured in the building had increased, and they were now more than halfway up. On the ground surrounding it were a multitude of flashing red and blue lights and little navy dots of police milling around. It was good to know they were useless no matter what universe they were in. Leo was surprised the military wasn’t called in.

“Donnie, if the Brainiacs were in contact with Shredder, can you trace to his location?” he asked, wasting no time just as Donnie wasted no time fiddling with his armband.

“I can if their communications were actually recorded or logged in some way, but it’s not.” Donnie looked up to Leo with some fear and trepidation. “What’re we going to do?”

Times like these made him too aware of how reliant he was on his tech to solve things. When they couldn’t, he felt more than useless. He felt like an anchor that sunk anyone tied to him. But Leo simply slapped him on the arm.

“Ow,” Donnie uttered halfheartedly, rubbing it.

“Relax, D-dawg, it’s not over yet! We can still get this!” Leo said brightly, gripping his twin by the shoulders. He gave him a determined smile with a certain glint in his eyes. “Shredder wanted the turtles, right?”

The confidence kept Donnie from outright panicking enough to reply, “Yes?”

“Well then, we’ll give him what he wants!”

It didn’t take half a second for his words to click in Donnie’s mind.

“You mean, let him kidnap us,” he stated.

“Thaaat’s right, brother.” Leo threw and arm over his shoulder and he put their heads together conspiringly. “No easier way to get into an enemy den than to have them take us to it. Not gonna lie, it’s… risky.” he gulped, but that was the only break in his image of boldness before his devil-may-care grin was back on. “But you,” he poked a finger to Donnie’s plastron, “have me,” he jabbed a finger to his own plastron. “Do I have you?” he asked in a breezy tone that was actually completely serious.

It was the switch that filled Donnie with tungsten, straightening his spine.

“Scoff, do you seriously even need to ask?” He returned Leo’s question with his own steady gaze. “What are we if not brothers?” He paused. “Twins.”

He lifted a fist. Leo bumped it.

“Twins for life,” he said gravely in stark contrast to his ecstatic smile. It wasn’t often Donnie called them twins, after all. “Okay, okay so here’s the plan; we stand out as much as possible, as loud and proud as we can.”

“Yeah, I think mission accomplished there,” Donnie said, throwing a thumb over his shoulder at the smoking TCRI building which now had holes punched nearly to the top.

“No, I mean like Thanksgiving Day Parade,” Leo said with a shake of his head.

“You… want us to what? Walk down the streets banging drums and shouting through loudspeakers that we’re here?” Donnie asked skeptically.

“Kind of! But we do it in style!” He searched around the streets and beamed when he spotted something. “How do you feel about a cruise around Downtown?”

Donnie followed his gaze. It looked very different from what he was used to in his own world, somehow about the size of a small motorhome and it was heavily modded but… was that… a subway car parked in the middle of the road? And not just a subway car, an armored one with a cannon on top and huge all-terrain wheels. Why? How?

Leo jumped down before he could say anything and approached it.

“Leo!” Donnie hissed as he went after him.

They checked it over slowly before standing in front of it, Leo with his hands on his hips and looking up at it proudly as though he was the one who owned it.

“So? Whaddaya think? Stylin’, am I right?”

“Hm, Turtle Tank’s a lot better,” Donnie said critically and completely unbiased as he ran a finger down the side of the vehicle and examining the smudge of dirt on it with narrowed eyes. He rubbed his finger off on Leo who gave him a sour look. “But it’ll do,” he sighed dramatically.

Leo clapped his hands together.

“Great! Let’s get in and start letting the town know the boys are here!”

Leo rubbed his hands before clearing his throat and gesturing to the door with a bow.

“If you will, Donnie.”

Donnie rolled his eyes in good nature and started to hack the digital lock.

When the alert sounded, Donatello had just pushed a robot off of him at what was already ground zero of TCRI with what seemed to be a giant Kraang on a large screen erupting in enough anger that he was surprised a vein hadn’t popped.

“What the—” He yelled in alarm towards Leonardo who sliced off a robot head before flipping out of the way of a laser. “Leo! Someone’s taken the Shellraiser!”

“What?! Who?” Leonardo asked. In the background, Raph body-slammed a group of Kraang with that weird red aura that made him three times bigger than he already was, making the ground shake.

“I don’t know,” Donatello replied as he whipped out his T-phone. “Let me bring up the—”

He sucked in a breath.

“Hey, focus! We’re in the middle of a fight here!” Raphael told off scathingly, smashing down a robot taking aim at his brother while Mikey whisked five flying saucers out of the air with the shocking length of the chain of his kusari-fundo.

But Donatello was focused. All his senses were focused on the grainy video feed of two turtles inside the Shellraiser giving each other high-fives as the purple one took the wheel.

He saw red.

A scream of pure primordial wrath that could rip the heavens asunder erupted from Donatello like a nuclear detonation. He bulldozed through the rest of the Kraang towards Raph whose yelp of shock got stuck in his throat and turned into a wheezing gasp when the phone was stuck in his face.

“YOUR PSYCHO BROTHERS! YOUR… YOUR… YOUR DISASTER TWINS KIDNAPPED MY BABY!”

“Uh, I would’ve gone for disaster duo—”

Leonardo and Raphael immediately clamped a hand over Michelangelo’s mouth, never once taking their wide-eyed stare off their third brother as they slowly inched away. Donatello continued to scream about the twins in Raph’s panicked and sweaty face with sharp, erratic gestures, almost beyond words. The poor big fellow had his hands up, his feeble attempt at placating the ballistic Donatello as useful as it would be to a bomb that’d gone off and kept going off.

“I AM GOING TO COMMIT SO MUCH VIOLENCE WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON THEM, AND YOU,” he jabbed his staff at Raph before swinging it to Mikey who immediately threw his hands up in the air, “AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!”

“Okay, no one’s goin’ to. They’d deserve it for stealin’ something that ain’t theirs anyway,” Raph mollified. “Right, Mikey?”

“Oh, yeah! Totally! They’d get what’s coming to them!” Mikey squeaked, head rattling in a frantic nod, rather spooked.

Finally brave enough to approach a seething Donatello heaving for breath, Leonardo cautiously approached him like he were an incensed wild animal and tentatively put a hand on his shoulder. When Donatello didn’t snap at him, Leonardo squeezed it. To his relief, it slumped in defeat.

“We’ll get the Shellraiser back,” Leonardo soothed. “You can track it, right?”

“Yes,” Donatello sighed.

“Then we’ll get it back,” Leonardo said more firmly.

“But how?” Donatello asked despairingly. “We have no other viable means of catching up to it.”

“Well, if we can’t catch them on the ground, we can always do so by air,” Leonardo said with a smile as his brother brightened.

“Oh, yeah!”

“Besides, they have to stop some time, right?”

Chapter Text

“Eh-heh-hem, aaah, aaah, testing, testing, one, two, three! Ahem, attention anybody who named themselves cheese grater—”

“Actually, he might be named after the machine that turns paper into confetti,” Donnie contended loud enough to reach the mic Leo held from where he stood leaning against the driver’s seat with an elbow resting on top.

“Either way,” Leo continued with a snicker in his voice, “I heard you were looking for us, the turtles! We don’t usually answer solicitors pushy enough to knock on our door across dimensions, but we’ll make a special case for the one who kidnapped our brothers. Oh, also, Donnie totally owe me twenty bucks, everyone!”

“What?! I do not!” Donnie denied, taking his eyes away from the road to glare at his brother and incidentally running over something that crunched and jostled the vehicle in his inattention.

… Eh, it was probably fine. Nothing screamed, after all.

“Yes, you do! You said the Brainiacs weren’t planning to take over the world, but they so were!”

“Nuh-uh! They never confessed to it directly!”

“Donnie, Donnie, Donnie,” Leo sighed while shaking his head in mock disappointment, making his brother hunch forward with a grumpy frown over the tightened grip he had on the wheel. “Are you ignoring the facts right in your face? And here I thought you were the science g—ah!”

Tires screeched as Donnie swerved sharply, throwing Leo into the wall with a solid thunk. Donnie righted the wheel, and his brother fell forward onto the floor in a dazed sprawl.

“… Ow…”

“Sorry, there was a raccoon on the road,” Donnie said unapologetically.

Leo glared at him from the floor.

“You are such a dick, you know that?”

Donnie straightened with a preening smile.

“Why, thank you. I do try. But on a more serious note, are you sure this is a good idea? Announcing to the world that mutant turtles exist isn’t exactly low profile.”

He ignored the look Leo shot him that said he knew exactly what he was trying to do by changing the topic, but he nonetheless humored him.

“Oh please, Donnie,” Leo said, returning to his original position. “This is New York. No one cares and no one’s gonna think much of it like, oh! Another jerk’s blaring through my neighborhood at ass o’clock in the morning! I hope they drive into a ditch! Why do you care anyway?” He flailed his arms. “This isn’t even our universe!”

“Hm, true.”

“So! Twenty bucks!” Leo rubbed his fingers together. “Cash or credit? Credit of course being I get to brag about how right I am for two weeks!”

Donnie grumpily slapped a twenty into his palm. Leo tucked the bill away with a smug smile.

“Great doing business with ya!”

They rode around for ten more minutes blasting their message through the loudspeaker Donnie had hastily installed to the side when a thump came from the roof. They traded glances, and he nodded. He swiftly made his way towards the hatch up.

“What’s the password~?” Leo sang, approaching cautiously with both katana in hand, more than ready to fend off a blade through their ride.

“Is it ‘if you don’t get up here, I’ll come down to you’?” a female voice asked sweetly, catching the twins off guard.

Their eyes met once more. Leo shrugged and jerked his head at the hatch. Donnie hesitated before slowly nodding, mouth tight with unease to which Leo smiled and gave a thumbs-up.

“Eh, close enough. Lucky you, I’ll let it slide!” he finally playfully responded, putting one of his katana between his teeth in order to free a hand to unlock the hatch. The other katana remained firmly in his left grip. He jumped out but nearly stumbled when he caught sight of who was waiting for him.

“Whoa! It’s Gram-gram but if she was younger and if Hot Topic threw up all over her!” Leo exclaimed.

“What?” two baffled voices questioned in unison, one from the girl in front of him and the other from his communicator.

“Yeah, it’s young Gram-gram,” Leo said with a firm nod. “YGG for short.”

“That explains nothing,” Donnie deadpanned.

“My name is Karai.”

“So, YGG, what brings you here? Just telling you now, we’re kinda too busy to read ‘I Love Gram-Gram and Gram-Gram Loves Me’ by yours truly. I know; a tragedy. Rain check?” Leo said, throwing in a charming forgive-me smile which curled the corners of Karai’s lips.

“You’re not what I expected,” she remarked humorously.

“Of course not. I always go beyond expectations. Anyway, you were looking for us?” Leo prompted with one ridge raised.

“I heard through the very loud grapevine that you’re looking for Shredder,” Karai answered.

Leo brightened.

“Yeah! You know where he is?”

Karai rested a hand on her hip.

“Yes, but why should I tell you?”

“I dunno,” Leo said, shrugging. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“Because he’s my father?”

It clicked in Leo’s mind.

“Oooh, you’re with the bad guys,” he said, smacking his temple with a hand still clutching the hilt of a katana. “That’s whack.”

“What?! Gram-gram’s with Shredder?!” Donnie yelled in disbelief, sounding a bit heartbroken.

“I’m no one’s Gram-gram!” Karai growled, slapping a hand to her forehead before shooting Leo a glare. “Argh! Look, there’s been a misunderstanding. My father hadn’t captured any turtles, much less your brothers.” Her gaze ran over Leo with a puzzled frown. “Who’re you anyway? What’s your relation to the other turtles?”

“Other turtles?” Donnie murmured contemplatively.

“Uh-huh, likely story evil Gram-gram; EGG, or Egg for short,” Leo said, nodding along.

“Are you going to answer me?”

“Well, I mean, you’re evil so no,” Leo replied with a sprinkle of “duh” in his tone and a roll of his eyes for good measure.

Karai’s hand trailed to the hilt of the sheathed wakizashi attached to her lower back.

“Well, if you’re not going to listen and you’re not going to talk, then there’s nothing left to discuss.”

“Ooo, scary,” Leo said cheerfully even as he twirled a blade and took on a ready stance.

Karai smirked, pulling out her weapon.

“I’ll show you just how.”

“Hahaiiii’m sure you will. BRAAAKE!”

The vehicle screeched to a halt, flinging the stunned Karai off and threatening the same to Leo if he weren’t holding onto the katana stuck in the roof.

“GOGOGO!”

With a sharp squeal of rubber on asphalt and a cloud of noxious smoke, the tank smashed through the neighboring parked cars and a fire hydrant as it made a wide U-turn, peeling away to leave behind a cacophony of car alarms and a geyser of water.

“Man, this thing’s packing major horsepower!” Leo whistled appreciatively with a hand over his eyes as he squinted after the shrinking figure of an angry evil Gram-gram. “Hey, you think this is like one of those parallel worlds where the good guys are bad and the bad guys are good? What if Shredder’s not a homicidal maniac bent on destruction but a nice guy who, I dunno, knits sweaters for orphans and rescues puppies all day?”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s so wrong. He’s definitely evil here too,” Leo agreed with a shudder before the sound of engines that weren’t their own pulled his attention to two new arrivals tearing out of a nearby alleyway and coming straight after them.

“Donnie, we’ve got company! I don’t think they’re friendly!” Leo said as the motorcycles flanked them.

Donnie glanced at the side mirrors and grunted, spinning the wheel to the left in an attempt to smash into the werewolf mutant. Too bad he simply jumped, sacrificing the motorcycle which went flying and crashing into some cars. A thump above alerted him to the fact the werewolf was now on the roof. Great.

“I was wondering who could be foolish enough to be looking for Master Shredder so blatantly,” Werewolf chuckled from Donnie’s communicator in a deep rumble. “It turns out it really is the turtles but not the usual ones… Who are you?”

Leo groaned.

“This again? Sorry pal, I know I’m hot, but I don’t kiss and tell.”

The fish mutant rode up to the window and pointed some sci-fi gun at Donnie with a grin that revealed thin razor teeth full of threat.

Donnie gave Sushi an unimpressed look deeper than the Marianna Trench.

Before he could shoot, Donnie pointed his staff at him and let loose a small drill. It went right through the reinforced glass, threatening to put a hole into Sushi’s shocked face if he hadn’t swerved away in time. Too bad a lamppost caught him in his dodge Bugs Bunny cartoon-style.

Donnie snorted.

“Idiot. How’re things going up there, Leo?”

Leo grunted as he fended off claws to the face. Werewolf hadn’t even spared a glance at his partner’s wipe-out.

“Not great.”

“Useless, but at least now I have a name to take back with me,” he said, sounding quite pleased with himself.

“Yeah, yeah, you and all my other stalkers,” Leo grumbled, dodging and blocking attacks left, right, and center.

It was quickly apparent Werewolf was an expert fighter within the first few strikes. He was swift, precise, and deadly, aiming mercilessly at vitals and any miniscule openings. Leo couldn’t let his guard down at all let alone make a portal to dump him through. He was the fastest among his ninja brothers but damn was this guy giving him a run for his money as much as he hated to admit it. It didn’t help that something kept darting around in the air dropping small bombs onto him.

“Then I wonder who is driving this.”

Werewolf raised his claws as though to bury them through the roof.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Leo threw himself forward to intercept them. Werewolf grinned. A blur of claws came ripping towards Leo’s side.

“Sh—”

He braced himself for the pain when Werewolf suddenly clutched his ears with a loud howl and dropped to the roof, writhing in agony.

“Alright there, Leo?”

“Donnie?”

“Yeah, I’m transmitting a high-pitched frequency only dogs can hear.”

Leo beamed as he caught his breath back, wiping off some of the sweat on his forehead.

“Donnie, you genius! I can just kiss you!”

“Ugh, gross. No thanks, hard pass. I'll take the compliment, though. What’re you going to do about Werewolf?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s going to give up Shredder’s hideout no matter what we say or do to him,” Leo replied thoughtfully, looking down at Werewolf baring his teeth and glaring balefully at him.

“Kill me if you dare,” he snarled.

“See? You need to chill, Walking Halloween.” An idea struck Leo. “Hey, you know what’s the perfect thing to do for that? Being in nature.”

“What? No, we were totally miserable,” Donnie objected.

“Well, yeah, but this guy’s a werewolf. It’ll be different for him,” Leo said, raising a sword. “He’ll be among his people.” He let out a fake sniffle. “Go, be free.”

Werewolf stared unflinchingly as Leo brought down the sword, but it simply sliced through the fabric of space itself instead of him. Werewolf only had time to blink in stupefied surprise before Leo kicked him through, prompting a doggy yelp before he closed the portal again.

“Where’d you drop him?” Donnie asked.

“Upstate. In the mountains… maybe. Ah, whatever, he’ll be fine,” Leo shrugged off. “More importantly…”

He made another portal. He struck his arm through it, snagging his prize as it tried to dart away somewhere in the night air above. He dragged it back and scrunched his nose at the hairy fly head he was met with.

“Ew, you definitely lost the mutant gene lottery here, Fly Guy.”

“It’s Baxter Stockman! Release me at once!”

Baxter squirmed in his hold. He was surprisingly strong for someone so scrawny and had a fly head, not that that had anything to do with it, probably. He managed to drag Leo a bit, forcing him to pin him to the roof with a sword to his throat. Baxter let out a whimper and ceased all movement.

“There was another one?” Donnie asked.

“Yup. I’ll bring him down.”

Leo managed to pop the hatch open and throw Baxter down before falling on top of him. The sound Baxter made wasn’t dissimilar to the last wheezes of a sad whoopee cushion.

Donnie spared a glance back but dismissively returned his attention to the road.

“Unfortunate,” was his only comment.

“Alright Baxten Stonkberg!” Leo began, bringing his sword close.

“Baxter Stockman!”

“Where’s Shredder?”

“I can’t tell you!”

“Can’t not won’t, huh?” Leo hummed. “What, is he threatening you?”

“I’m not telling you anything! Not a single peep!”

The guy was shaking, and Leo hadn’t even done anything to him yet. Plus, he'd only lobbed bombs at him from a distance but stopped once Werewolf was incapacitated. Fly Guy was a coward, so it’d be easy to pry the information out of him. He just had to make it so that it was scarier to keep that info from them over whatever threat Shredder posed if he gave it away. But how? Hmmm…

Leo stared down contemplatively at the increasingly nervous Baxter.

“W-what?” he squeaked.

“Hey, Donnie,” Leo began slowly. “I think this is the perfect chance to defend your title as FPS King.”

“Oh?” Donnie said, perking up. “Color me intrigued. What do you have in mind, brother?”

Leo smirked.

Ten minutes later, he was stomping on the gas while weaving wildly through streets of New York with a screaming Baxter tethered by a chain to the back of the tank, yanked around like the world’s ugliest balloon.

On the roof, Donnie took a shot with his new Jupiter Jim blaster. The laser bullet singed the top of an antenna. Baxter began to shriek and weep hysterically.

“Fifty points.”

“Dude, no way! Okay, umm… the tip of his wings this time! You better be recording this!”

“Scoff, who do you think I am?”

“No, no, stop! I’ll tell you! Please, just let me go!” Baxter wailed.

At least when he was bullied by Shredder’s other goons, he wasn’t treated as a plaything. Even worse, he was a plaything to two psychotic mutant turtle teenagers. He’d rather commit himself back to his humdrum office job full of his fatuous, insipid colleagues over—

“Nah, I’m not convinced. Donnie?” Leo drawled.

“Nope!” Donnie replied with a manic grin, having way more fun than he should.

“Alrighty then! Let’s see if you can still hit him if I doughnut!”

The vehicle spun in a dizzying circle with a squeal, knocking aside or crushing any obstacles in the way; cars, poles, bicycles, no parking signs, it didn’t matter. They all went flying with a crash just the same. Leo let out a holler of sheer glee.

Unfazed, Donnie aimed and took another shot.

“I already said I’ll tell you! What else do you want from me?” Baxter yelled desperately as he felt the heat of the laser clip his wing.

“Fifty!”

“Sick! Next…”

It was only when Baxter threw up a spray of acid that melted some poor shmuck’s hanging laundry and another guy’s ill-fated windowsill garden that the twins decided he was sincere, and they stopped the tank. It was a small miracle Baxter was coherent amidst his disgusting puke of acid that dug a deep pothole in the middle of the lane.

“What?” Leo cried, smacking a hand over his eyes. He spluttered and flailed a bit before exclaiming, “That’s close to where we were when we attacked the main base! We could’ve just—argh!”

“In our defense, we didn’t know,” Donnie said, hopping into the tank. “Now we do.”

Leo slumped with a deep, frustrated sigh.

“What a waste of time,” he grumbled, also getting on. He poked his head through the window and waved with a cheery smile. “Thanks for all the fun, though! Alright Donnie, floor it!”

“W-wait, wait, wait! I’m still—AAAAAAAH!”

“Whoops.”

“Is it normal here that everything keeps blowing up?!” Mikey cried from atop Michelangelo’s shell as he spotted yet another orange glow of an explosion somewhere in the distance from their bird’s eye view of the city. Raph was too big to take along, so he was forced to play catch-up on the rooftops.

“No, it is not normal. Take a wild guess who could be responsible,” Donatello seethed, following the tracker on his phone. Not that he needed it because he could just follow the trail of destruction on the streets the twins blazed in their wake.

Skid marks, tossed cars, spewing fire hydrants, and garbage cans strewn about were only part of the extent of property damage. Donatello’s head pounded with the mess they’d have to deal with in the aftermath.

“Oh, um… should we check it out, then? Just in case?” Mikey asked meekly, pressing two of his fingers together.

“No need. They’re all Kraang bases,” Donatello replied curtly, keeping his eyes glued to his phone.

“No worries, man. Once Donnie gets back the Shellraiser, he’ll stop being such a grumpy-pants,” Michelangelo assured in a not-whisper.

Donatello pretended not to hear him.

“Where the heck are these guys even going? They’re all over the place,” Raphael said, not sounding nearly as upset or worried about the devastation as he should be. In fact, he sounded a bit approving. “Gotta appreciate their hustle though.”

“It’s as though they’re looking for something,” Leonardo analyzed. He turned to Mikey. “You and your brother, maybe?”

“I mean, I guess but…” Mikey scratched his head with furrowed ridges. “They wouldn’t tear up part of the city for that.”

“Seriously?” Donnatello intoned while two incredulous gazes snapped to him. Michelangelo tried to add his own to the potluck of disbelief but failing to do so, gestured wildly at the chaos below.

“Dude…”

“Well, yeah, okay, they would but not without a reason!” Mikey corrected, feeling an odd need to defend his brothers even though they were waaay in the wrong.

“So you’re saying they’re looking for something else to try and find you,” Leonardo said slowly.

“Yeah!”

“Alright, then what could they be lookin’ for?” Raphael questioned.

A blanket of silence covered them.

"Hey, isn't that Buzz Kill?" Michelangelo pointed out. "He looks pretty roughed up."

"Gee, I wonder who could've done that," Donatello muttered sarcastically but nonetheless dipped down with his brothers to check out what happened.

Baxter let out a terrified squeal and tried to scrabble away, but the turtles quickly blocked off any escape. Up close, he looked even worse for wear as though he'd been put through a grinder. His clothes were full of smoldering rips and he smelled a bit burnt.

"W-what do you want? What do you want?!" he babbled hysterically.

"We're not going to hurt you," Leonardo said, actually a bit concerned at how much twitchier he was than usual. "We're just looking for turtles that look like this one."

Mikey smiled tentatively.

"Hi?"

Baxter shrieked, causing them all to flinch.

"What the shell?!" Raphael shouted.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! I ALREADY TOLD YOU WHERE SHREDDER IS! YOU PROMISED TO LET ME GO!"

“SHREDDER’S HERE?!” Mikey yelled in panic as the rest of the turtles let out a loud gasp.

“Shit! They're after Shredder?!” Raphael deftly headed to the nearest building to take off of. “C’mon, let’s hurry back!”

“Yeah, I hope we’re not too late,” Leonardo said grimly.

It suddenly made sense. If the twins thought their brothers were kidnapped but the Kraang didn't have them, what other bad guy could there be left responsible?

The rest followed his lead except Leonardo who spared one last look at Baxter cowering in a ball before shaking his head and hurrying after his brothers. In the state he was in, he wouldn't be causing trouble for a while.

Chapter Text

“Another pair of turtles?” Shredder said thoughtfully.

“Yes, but these turtles aren’t like the ones we know. They’re a lot… looser in their fighting,” Xever said with a wince as he poked delicately at his bandaged head. He didn’t think the turtles had the guts to go for a kill, but he was obviously wrong. He’d pay them back for this.

“And they’re not above dirty tricks,” Karai added with a disgruntled scowl. She was pretty sure she still had some gravel lodged in her hair.

“Interesting,” Shredder murmured. “And you say they’re searching for me?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Then let them come. I’m curious as to what these turtles are.”

Karai frowned.

“But they’ve already disposed of Stockman and Bradford, and they’re completely unpredictable. Who knows what they’ll do next? If we don’t strike before—”

“Are you questioning me and my ability to handle them?” Shredder asked in a deadly low voice with narrowed eyes.

Karai hastily looked down.

“No, Father.”

“Then this meeting is over,” Shredder said, turning around in clear dismissal.

Karai wanted to keep arguing, but her father had always been a stubborn man especially when it came to anything related to the Hamato, so she could only swallow her words and head out the door along with Xever. At least, that’s what they started to do if a distant noise hadn’t caught their attention. Karai paused and listened intently.

It sounded like… a car horn? Playing some kind of music? It grew louder and louder until Karai finally recognized it.

“Is that… La Cucara—”

A loud boom echoed across the vast room, shaking the building and causing Karai and Xever to drop into ready stances. The squeal of tires immediately clued them in on who could be callously bashing through their base. Of course. No prizes for guessing who else would be stupid but crazy enough to pull this stunt off except those weird turtles.

“Father—!”

With a deafening crash, the Shellraiser burst through from the other side, flinging chunks of debris and dust over them all. They jumped out of the way as it plowed right into them, that insufferable Mexican tune blaring loud enough to make most of them wince up until it crashed to a stop in the wall of the pedestal upon which Shredder’s throne sat.

Shredder paid no mind to any of that. Instead, his eyes narrowed into the cloud of dust covering the room. Shadows flitted through it, almost too quick to see.

“Where is my daughter?” he demanded steadily.

No answer.

“Where is she?” he snarled, flexing his hands.

At first, there was more silence, but then…

“Well, he said Karai’s his daughter, so this has to be Shredder, right?” came a doubtful voice from somewhere in the room.

“Yeah, and he has the armor and all, but isn’t he lookin’ a bit… I dunno… small? And he’s not all ‘RAAAAAAWR!’ so…” said a second lighter voice.

Shredder snorted. Ridiculous.

“So you are the turtles that Karai and Xever spoke of. If you are looking for Shredder,” he spread his arms apart, “then you have found him.”

A pause.

“You hear that, Dee?”

“I sure did, Lee. He said he’s indeed Shredder,” the doubtful voice said with a sneer in his tone.

“You remember what happened to the last guy who called himself Shredder, right?”

“Why, I do, brother dearest.”

Two pairs of glowing eyes shone from above amidst the darkness of the ceiling.

“We shredded him,” they chorused together in a growl.

Shredder dodged out of the way of the first few missiles that jetted towards him only to be accosted by dual blades wielded by a blue-masked turtle with red markings and a truly savage curve of the mouth. Intriguing.

Shredder deflected each and every blow, curious as to what this turtle had to offer. He was rather impressed with his agility and dexterity with which he handled the swords. His technique and movements were certainly wilder and more flexible than the other blue turtle who stuck to the Hamato style like the roots of a tree dug deep in the ground.

The turtle flipped, attempting to catch his chin as he thrust himself upward. Shredder bent backwards to avoid it before rolling himself to the side. A giant translucent drill swung down and shattered the space he was in a mere moment ago only to be hounded by more homing missiles.

They bombarded him from all angles and from a split second blind spot was the glint of a katana he barely managed to block. He brought his clawed gauntlet up just in time to intercept the chainsaw aimed at his head by a purple turtle bearing a grim look even beyond the goggles he wore. Fascinatingly enough, he had glowing marks.

The bright sparks flew towards Shredder’s eyes, forcing them to involuntarily close. With a powerful twist of his torso, he threw the chainsaw and katana off of him as he swept a kick to knock the second blade away.

The purple turtle clicked his tongue.

Impressive. This one was calculating indeed. He didn’t bear the same skill as the other, but he certainly made up for it with rather pragmatic methods. He was precise; every move he made was purposeful and every strike must count. Rather than a death from a thousand cuts, this one would’ve preferred to land a single fatal blow.

“Scan complete. No results found,” a robotic voice suddenly chimed from the purple turtle.

“Seriously?” the blue one blurted with a scowl, catching a claw with a katana before ducking another claw and swiveling away from a kick. A mini rocket aimed at the back of Shredder’s head prevented him his pursuit. The blue one glared. “Where are our brothers?”

“Brothers? I do not recall seeing your brothers,” Shredder deigned to reply as he flowed through a set of moves that had the turtles gritting their teeth to defend against. “But since you are here, I might as well crush you!”

“Lee?” the purple one grunted as the turtles put some distance between them.

The blue turtle considered Shredder with sharp eyes.

“You sure you don’t know them? I mean, we sure know where your daughter is.”

Familiar anger flowed lava-hot through his veins at the implicit threat.

“What have you done with Karai?!” Shredder boomed, charging at them.

“I don’t think he’s lying!” the blue turtle cried as he and his brother split in different directions.

“Yeah, I don’t think so either!” the purple one agreed.

Shredder aimed for the blue turtle because it was he who most embodied the wretched Hamato just like the other blue one. Even as diluted as it was, that clan’s disgusting influence still clung to his every move.

“Then let’s blow this popsicle stand!” the blue one said.

“Voice recognition confirmed. Initiating code popsicle stand,” the robotic voice said.

Beeping sounded from somewhere behind Shredder, but he ignored it in favor of his quarry who fended him off long enough to take a large leap into the air only to be snatched by the purple turtle who could now somehow fly.

“Hasta la vista, Shred-head!” the blue turtle called with a salute before, astoundingly, vanishing through what seemed to be a blue portal created from his sword.

No sooner did they disappear than the Shellraiser exploded with a mighty boom.

Donnie and Leo watched somewhat despondently from the air a short distance away. Their only lead and he didn’t even know their brothers.

Leo glanced up. Donnie glanced down.

Now what?

“Maybe they just went to the Nintendo Store?” Leo suggested half-heartedly.

Donnie snorted but didn’t otherwise retort as he set his brother down onto the roof so they could stare at their latest bonfire in a bit of a daze…

Leo abruptly dodged to the right with a yelp, the tips of a set of wicked steel claws grazing the side of his head. He sputtered while he hastily unsheathed his swords as Donnie intercepted Shredder’s next attack with a cry.

“Dude, you’re alive?!” Leo exclaimed in disbelief as he knocked Donnie away before Shredder could grab him by the throat.

“Such petty tricks are hardly enough to kill me,” Shredder informed, delivering a vicious swipe at him.

“Well, I suppose it’s good to know Shredder is a cockroach no matter the universe,” Donnie grunted, scrabbling up.

“Then I guess we should up the ant!” Leo said, the familiar energy of his ninpo making his markings glow, temporarily halting Shredder as he gazed at him curiously. He obviously didn’t feel threatened. Yet.

“You mean ante,” Donnie corrected. “But yes, I otherwise agree.”

With new speed, Leo spun away from Shredder and teleported himself left, right, above, below, behind, letting his katana scratch tauntingly across armor. Even so Shredder was starting to read the blue turtle’s movements with each attempt to snatch at him.

Good, because when Shredder intervened perfectly at the very next portal, what he struck wasn’t Leo. It was a purple warhead.

Shredder’s eyes widened as it detonated in his face, throwing him back into the wall of the taller building next to their roof.

With an almost hysterical laugh, Leo poked his upper body out of a portal and snatched the helmet from his stunned enemy. He retreated before Shredder could do more than bellow in frustration.

“A-yoink! Keep away!” Leo hooted, tossing the helmet towards Donnie who swung his staff as hard as he could like it was a baseball bat. It flew off into the distance.

“Yes! Home run!” Donnie cheered, pumping a fist before rolling aside as Shredder attempted to dive-bomb him from above with a furious yell.

With breakneck speed, Leo slid across the space Donnie vacated, drawing a portal behind himself. Shredder disappeared through it only to land several feet away tangled in electrical wire from which he struggled to free himself of. He didn’t seem to care whether he’d get electrocuted in the attempt.

“Ohohoho, yes! We’ve got him now!” Donnie said, rubbing his hands together with an excited grin.

His markings glowed as his arsenal all popped into existence behind him several meters high and all aimed at a singular target. Unlimited missiles versus one guy in a set of medieval Japanese armor. Who would win?!

“Me, obviously, I’m going to win!” Donnie cackled gleefully.

He moved to launch them all.

“DONATELLO HAMATO, I KNOW YOU’RE NOT ABOUT TO DESTROY THIS ENTIRE CITY BLOCK WITH ALL THOSE MISSILES!”

“It’d be for a worthy cause!” he called back. He paused. “Wait a minute…”

Both Leo and he swiveled around in disbelief to see the brothers they’d been ripping apart the city looking for all this time. And some other tagalongs, but they’re not important.

“Raph! Mikey!” they cried joyfully, running over with their arms outstretched despite the fact Raph bore a foreboding scowl.

“Guys! You’re here! Oh, I’m so happy we finally caught up to you!” Mikey said, just as happy to see them. He immediately went for the hug.

Raph’s image of a Stern and Disapproving Older Brother couldn’t help but melt off at seeing his family whole once again. With a great sigh, he moved over towards his bundle of little brothers and drew them all into his bear hug.

“It’s good to see you guys again,” he said somewhat grudgingly.

“Aw, it’s good to see you too, big guy,” Leo replied with a grin. Donnie hummed in agreement.

“Yeah… You two are in deep trouble,” Raph said flatly.

“Huh? Why?” Donnie asked, baffled as he looked up at his eldest brother.

Raph spluttered before echoing incredulously, “Why?! Are you seriously asking me that?”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t serious about asking,” Donnie said dryly.

“You—” Raph dropped them all in favor of smacking his forehead. He pointed frantically out in the city where pillars of smoke and the orange glow of multiple fires could be seen in all directions even over the rooftops. Sirens wailed nonstop. “You blew everything up! You stole someone’s tank! You destroyed the city! You traumatized people!”

“Yeah, because we were looking for you guys!” Leo defended, gesturing towards Raph and Mikey.

“Nuh-uh, don’t even try with that, Leo,” Raph shut down immediately. “We are not to blame for your crazy stunts tonight!”

“Whoops, uh, sorry to interrupt while you’re in lecture mode, Raph, but uh… what do we do with this guy?” Mikey asked, throwing a thumb over towards Shredder wrapped up from head to toe in glowing orange chains. He’d apparently tried to sneak attack them while they were talking.

Four jaws dropped while the other four simply looked at him curiously.

“I will destroy the Hamato,” Shredder hissed, never ceasing his struggles. Honestly, he looked like a bald caterpillar.

Raph turned to one of the tagalongs with a blue bandana same as Leo. Huh, actually they all had the same bandana colors as them… It clicked.

“Oooh, are they supposed to be us?”

“Sort of, not really,” Raph mumbled vaguely, scratching his head.

“God forbid we’re ever as crazy as you two are,” the tall purple bandana turtle with a tooth gap who must be this world’s Donnie said with a bit of a bite in his voice.

Donnie practically shone in giddy delight.

“Haha, brilliant! Alternate dimension versions of us do exist here, and they are standing right before us! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!” He whipped out a syringe. “Would anyone care to volunteer their DNA for science?”

Surprisingly, all four of the other turtles backed away like they’d been confronted with a viper.

“You really just carry that around?!” Raphael cried, his voice cracking slightly. He looked the most anxious out of the four including Michelangelo who hid behind him.

“Not now, Donnie!” Raph barked, using an arm to block Donnie who grumbled but obediently if reluctantly put away the syringe again. He turned to Leonardo. “He’s your Shredder. What do want to do with him?”

“I-I don’t know. We… didn’t think he’d be taken down so easily, so we didn’t really think that far ahead…” Leonardo said, looking overwhelmed.

Leo held up a katana in suggestion.

Leonardo glared at him.

“No.”

Donnie held up his staff. The mini chainsaw popped out at the top and started up with a buzz.

“No.”

Leo cut a portal and mimed tossing something through it.

“NO.”

A missile materialized above Donnie.

Leonardo spluttered.

“Wha—NO! What is wrong with you two?!”

The twins traded looks. Donnie shrugged.

“Hey, we’re just throwing out suggestions. If you don’t like them, then think of something on your own,” Leo said somewhat crabbily, folding his arms.

"I never even asked for any in the first place!" Leonardo gave a frustrated growl as he put a hand to his forehead and massaged it before finally saying, “Let’s just have Master Splinter decide. It’s only fitting since Shredder was the one who wronged him the most.”

“Splinter?” Shredder released a mocking laugh. “That coward—”

“Okay, okay, shhhhhh,” Mikey hushed with the wide but empty smile of Delicate Touch as his chains lengthened to cover Shredder’s mouth as well.

“Wait.” Donatello stepped out to the front, looking grumpy. Raph immediately grew nervous. “We can get Master Splinter here faster if we have the Shellraiser. Where is it?”

“What’s a shell-raiser?” Leo asked.

“The tank you stole!” Donatello snapped.

“Oooh, that. Funny story,” Leo said with a bit of a chuckle. “We used it to blow up Shredder’s base. But man, you built that, huh?” he continued on, oblivious to the shock quickly shattering into boiling rage. “Geez, you really are Donnie! Except you’re all nerd without the murd!”

He laughed.

“I’ll shOW YOU NERD!”

Donatello lunged for the throat with a tribal war cry. Leo let out a high-pitched scream.

Raph sighed in deep exhaustion.

Chapter Text

“Anyone get the license plate of the truck that hit me?” Leo slurred upon finally waking up on the cold concrete roof after being laid out by Donatello who Leonardo had to forcibly drag away and send off to fetch Splinter lest he committed actual murder.

The Jason Voorhees "you're next" glower Donatello shot Donnie before he left legit sent a shiver down his spine. Better Leo than him.

“Yeah, it was KARMA,” Raph replied unsympathetically as Leo slowly sat up and gingerly felt around his left eye which now sported a magnificent shiner.

“Woo~ow, someone deeefinitely paid goood moolah for that,” Leo chuckled, sounding a bit loopy doubtless from the time his head got knocked on the ground. The asphyxiation afterwards when Donatello wrung his neck probably didn’t do his brain any favors.

“Dude, I’ve never seen Donnie so mad before! It was like one of those nature shows where the tiger mauls a helpless deer all ‘RAWWWR’ and blood flies everywhere! It was great!” Michelangelo gave a thumbs-up. “Way to go, bro!”

Leo returned it with all the confusion only a concussed person could muster.

“You… okay?” Leonardo asked slowly, unsure whether he should feel bad or not. On one hand, it was his brother who did a number on him. On the other hand, Leo blew up the Shellraiser which he’d grown attached to even if not to the extent Donatello was.

“Don’t worry, the brain damage was always there,” Donnie quipped from the side.

Leo pointed accusingly at him while twisting at a weird angle to pout towards his older brother behind him.

“You hear that? You hear what he just said? Donnie was being mean!” He lost his balance and fell over. “Whoa, ow…”

Raphael and Michelangelo let out stifled laughter. Leonardo bit his lip to prevent from doing the same.

“Alright enough, you guys,” Raph sighed. “You’re both in serious trouble.”

“What? Didn’t you already go over that?” Leo groaned, slapping a hand over his eyes.

“I wasn’t done!” Raph snapped. “You two…” He ran a hand down his face with an exasperated noise. “I don’t even know where to start.” Something exploded in the distance, setting off some car alarms. Nobody glanced at it. “Okay, let’s start with what the shell happened since me and Mikey were gone!”

“Leo got portal-jacked by the Kraang, we made our own portal going after you, then we chased your lead,” Donnie answered matter-of-factly.

“I think you skipped a few things like the robot army!” Raph pointed towards the city glowing a soft flame orange. “Where’d you even get a robot army?!”

Donnie cleared his throat, chest puffing up proudly in an incoming lecture. Leo rolled to his side, curling up and clasping his hands over his ears with a soft, whiny, “Noooo…”

“They’re not mere robots, dear Raphael. They’re androids! Fully autonomous with an evolving AI capable of learning! Their processing power is approximately three times that of the Frontier supercomputer at 3505 peta—”

“Okay, forget the how,” Raph interrupted holding up a hand. “Just call off your… android army. Last I saw ‘em, they were marchin’ towards City Hall like they were going to overthrow the mayor or something.” He narrowed a look at Donnie. “They’re not going to overthrow the mayor, right?”

He stared in disbelief at his brother’s dawning oh-yeah expression.

“Huh, so that’s what they’re up to now,” Donnie said to himself like he was commenting on the weather instead. “That explains why things are still exploding.”

“How do you even lose track of something like that?!” Raph demanded incredulously as Leo sniggered in the background. “Call off your android army, Donnie! Now!” Then under his breath, “I can’t believe that’s finally a thing I have to say.”

“Okay, okay, geez. What’d they ever do to you?” Donnie grumbled, hitting a few holographic buttons on his tech band. “There, disengaged. Happy?”

“Yeah, ‘cause stopping my little brother from committing a coup against the city government after everythin’ else is exactly how I want to end my night,” Raph said just as grumpily.

“Hey, it’s not my idea. As I said, fully autonomous androids,” Donnie replied defensively. “They do whatever they want after their mission is complete.”

“Is this even real?” Raph groaned with a smack of his forehead. “Why would you—Who’d even—” He swiveled sharply to Leo. “Is this you? Did you put the idea into their heads?”

Leo sprang to his feet. The sheer insult on his expression could rival a salt mine.

“Wow. Wow.” He scoffed and looked around his audience of four to share in his disbelief. “Can you believe this? I can’t believe this.”

Leonardo averted his gaze uncomfortably while Michelangelo scratched his head.

“I don’t know, man. All this android stuff’s hard.”

Mikey simply shrugged from where he was using Shredder as a bench. He knew better than to walk into any mess involving the twins in trouble with Raph.

Raphael, always happy to add oil to the fire, however, called gleefully, “No frickin’ way!”

“Right?!”

Leonardo elbowed his brother with a glare which was wholeheartedly reciprocated.

“Stay out of their family drama and stop trying to make things worse,” he hissed.

“What? Gotta get my entertainment from somewhere,” Raphael defended unrepentantly. “Turns out other people’s family drama’s a lot funnier than being in the middle of my own!”

The Cain instinct swelled within Leonardo.

“Oh, c’mon! Don’t tell me you ain’t enjoying this too.”

“Shut up, Raph,” Leonardo mumbled.

Raphael smirked. Didn’t deny it, eh?

“—and everyone knows world domination is Donnie’s thing,” Leo was saying to his eldest brother, waving frantically towards his twin examining his nails while leaning on his staff. “But sure! Let’s blame Leo for everything! Got portal-jacked? Must be Leo’s fault! Flush Piebald down the toilet? It’s gotta be Leo! Sink’s clogged? Just blame Leo!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

“So it was your idea.”

“Only the part where I suggested they have their own dreams.” At Raph’s deepening scowl, Leo hastily added unhesitatingly, “Hey! How was I supposed to know they'd try to overthrow the mayor? Besides, I’m not the one who made them! That’s all Donnie!”

Suddenly thrown under the bus, Donnie tore his attention from his nails to grace Leo with a frown.

“Excuse me? If I recall, you were the one who wanted to replicate Operation Retcon.”

“I didn’t hear you say no to the idea! You were totally down for it too! Besides, I’m not the one who actually built the androids!”

“Yes, for the express purpose of countering the Kraang! Don’t think I didn’t catch you messing with the programming!”

“Sure sounds like you noticed but didn’t do anything about it! Irresponsible much?”

Leo added a smirk to further infuriate Donnie. He raised his staff as Leo reached for a sword.

“Quit it, you two! You’re both responsible!” Raph shouted, grabbing his brothers and knocking their shells together to jar them back to their senses. Letting them play their special brand of blame game hot potato meant more property damage than his current headache could handle.

“You two are grounded! Donnie, only four hours of computer time a day for a month! Leo, no comics for a month too!”

“What?! You can’t do that!” Leo squawked in protest, flailing to free himself from Raph’s iron grip on the edge of his shell. “We know our rights!”

“Yeah! Only Dad can ground us! And he’s not here,” Donnie huffed snootily with crossed arms and his nose to the air.

Someone cleared their throat from behind Raph. A tall rat stepped out and pinned them with their dad’s signature I’m-Disappointed-in-You-and-Also-You’re-Grounded Face of Disapproval. Donatello followed with a skip in his step and so much anticipatory glee he was liable to break out singing and tap-dancing Avenue Q’s Schadenfreude on the spot.

Donnie and Leo let out simultaneous long and loud groans.

“This isn’t fair! We took out literal aliens bent on world domination! Aliens! We beat Shredder!” He gestured frantically towards the man. Mikey waved with a cheerful grin before giving a thumbs-up. “We saved the world! We should be getting a parade!”

“My sentiments exactly,” Donnie agreed with a nod.

“Yeah, that’s kinda hard to do when you’ve trashed half the city,” Raphael piped up, wandering to the roof edge and putting his hands on his hips, breathing in the city on fire as though panicked civilians fed his soul. “Traffic’s gonna be a killer.”

“You think so?” Michelangelo bounced up next to Raphael. “Seems pretty empty to me! I guess that means no one’s going to come to your parade. Bummer,” he said sadly before perking up. “Maybe we can pass out some flyers! I’m pretty good at art, so you can count on me!”

“That’s not the point, you guys,” Leonardo sighed.

“Exactly, Downtown is hardly half the city,” Donnie scoffed. “It’s approximately 7.54130865% of New York City.”

“That’s… not the point either.”

“Alright, smart guy. It’s not half the city, it’s some of it, like that makes it any better.” Raphael rolled his eyes. “You really are Donnie,” he said, echoing Leo from earlier.

“No, no we’re not, we’re nothing alike! Ever! Don’t you dare say that ever again!” Donatello objected with the venomous vehemence of being accused of traumatizing people for shits and giggles or terrorizing a city.

“Enough!” Splinter called with a sharp rap of his cane on the ground.

Like it was the crack of lightning, everyone quieted. He turned to a sulky Donnie and Leo.

“In life, there are right ways and there are wrong ways to go about your goals,” Splinter said sagely, walking in front of them. He whacked them over the head. “And this is the wrong way!”

Leo rubbed his head and opened his mouth. Splinter glared, and he closed it again.

“Certainly, going to such lengths in search of your missing brothers is admirable. However, it should not come at the cost of such damage.”

“Tell that to the Brainiacs, am I right?” Leo muttered to Donnie only to quell under Splinter’s sharp gaze.

“It appears you still do not think yourselves in the wrong. Very well then, as additional punishment to what Raphael has already assigned, you are to clean up after yourselves. Gather up all your wayward machines and repair the city.”

Leo spluttered.

“What? The whole thing? All of it?”

“That is correct.”

“How’re we supposed to repair so many things?” Leo complained.

“I don’t know. How did you break so many things?” Splinter shot back.

Leo didn’t have a good response for that one. Donnie smacked him.

“Ow! What was that for?!”

“You just had to open your big, dumb mouth,” Donnie grumped.

Raph shook them warningly, nipping a petty slap fight in the bud.

“Sensei, what about the Shellraiser they stole and blew up?” Donatello asked with a hardened voice, demanding justice for his child.

Splinter stroked his beard.

“Hmm, in that regard, I shall leave it up to you.”

The look Donatello directed towards the twins was downright bone-chilling. They gulped.

Not wishing to die by his alternate self’s hands, Donnie offered hastily, “Leo’s useless, but I can help rebuild your Shellraiser bigger and better than it ever was before!”

He ignored the betrayed disgust from his brother.

“And why would I want your help?” Donatello asked challengingly.

Silently, Donnie took out his phone, scrolled through it, and then showed it to him.

Donatello shot him a suspicious look before slowly, tentatively reaching out to take it. His eyes promptly bugged out of their sockets.

“Whoa! What the—What’re the specs on this thing?!” Donatello demanded excitedly, fairly squishing his nose to the screen. His giddiness grew with each picture he swiped of the Turtle Tank in various stages of completion. There might be drool in the corner of his mouth.

“That, my fellow science comrade, is the Turtle Tank, and I’m glad you asked!” Donnie said proudly.

He proceeded to rattle off technical jargon and numbers which Donatello responded in kind with his own technobabble that the rest of the group quickly tuned out of. Raph released Donnie the moment they submerged into their own world. It wasn't as though he was going anywhere or doing anything whenever he got like that.

“Now then…” Splinter turned to the chain cocoon only to furrow his brows in confusion. “Hm?”

Ireful bloodshot eyes glowered at him. A low growl rumbled from Shredder, and Mikey jumped up when he began to wiggle furiously to escape.

“He’s not going to get free, is he?” Leonardo asked nervously.

“Naw, he’s not going anywhere,” Mikey assured with his hands on his hips and a firm shake of his head.

“Where is his helmet?” Splinter inquired, looking around at the turtles behind him particularly at a certain blue and purple one.

Since Donnie was still geeking out with his new nerd buddy, Leo deigned to answer for him.

“Dunno. Donnie knocked it out of the park," he whistled while sketching an arch in front of him and then popped his lips, waving his hands to indicate impact, "and it’s been gone since.”

Splinter’s eye twitched.

“You must find it!”

“Okay, but like, is it important? More important than fixing the city?” Leo wheedled, waggling his eye ridges.

“That helmet is the symbol of the Foot Clan. Whoever dons it is their leader! It mustn’t fall in the wrong hands! Donatello!”

Splinter’s voice cracked through the air like a whip, and both turtles instinctively straightened.

“Yes, Sensei?!”

“It was Leo!”

Splinter sighed before addressing Donnie.

“Do you remember where the helmet you hit could have landed?”

“Well, of course,” Donnie said, blinking. “I calculate the trajectory of all my projectiles.”

“Good, then you shall bring it back,” Splinter ordered briskly. “You and your twin.” He turned to Raph. “Raphael, you will go with them.”

“Don’t worry, uh, Pops…?” Raph hesitated on the word but when Splinter didn’t show any negative reaction to it, he continued. “I’ll keep ‘em out of trouble.”

“No fair, I wanna call him Pops too,” Michelangelo grumbled, folding his arms childishly with a pout.

“Then do it,” Raphael dared casually, a bit curious how Splinter would react.

“Maybe I will!”

“Wait, Sensei. Let me go with them,” Leonardo volunteered, stepping forward. “They might not be familiar with our enemies, and who knows what's out there.”

“Very well, then. Make haste. In the meantime,” Splinter narrowed his eyes at Shredder, “I have much to discuss with my brother.”

“Pffft! Brother?!” Leo exclaimed incredulously.

“C’mon, let’s go,” Raph grunted, pulling Leo with him so he’d stop his embarrassing gawking.

As Leonardo followed next to them with Donnie in the lead, he wondered if he wasn’t making some big mistake. But their eldest brother was with them, right? Surely he’d keep them in line. Blissfully, he chose to forget the fact little brothers never do what you wanted them to do.