Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"This wouldn't happen to be about the city hall investigation would it?"

"Actually this is a bit more...personal."

Derek and David both flashed their badges in unison, causing the man across them to straighten his stance slightly. He was trying to appear in control of a situation where he had no clue of the outcome.  Behind him, the sweet receptionist poured far more attention than needed into reshuffling a pile of papers.

"How so?"

"It's about your son."

Now, they expected shock, or even concern. What they got instead was a look of contempt. Maybe even anger? William had the audacity to roll his eyes at the pair of agents.

"I don't have a son."

"Oh cut the bullsh-"

"Hello, dad."

Spencer had abruptly returned from the bathroom, sadly not looking much better than a few minutes prior. His eyes were bloodshot and his hands refused to stop shaking. If the others didn't know any better, they'd assume he had relapsed.

"Hello. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Well who's fault is that?" the harsh tone was predictable in this circumstance, yet it still shocked the two seasoned profilers. They had never heard anything like that from the young doctor.

"I'm not sure you want to have this conversation Infront of your co-workers. We both know I'm not the bad guy here."

Red flags were going off like police sirens in Derek's head. Glancing over to his right, he could tell Rossi was in the same boat. This was textbook gaslighting: try to push the blame off yourself and onto the victim. By the looks of the small flicker of doubt in his best friend's eyes, this tactic was somewhat working. Had he heard this all before?

From the triumphant look on his father's face, definitely assuming victory, the answer was an obvious yes.

"Why don't we speak in your office, Mr Reid?"

"Of course, follow me. Sorry in advance about all the mess. It's organised chaos I swear!" 

Just like a switch, William's mood was back to being carefree and welcoming. His smile felt so fake that Morgan wanted to punch it off him.

'Chill, nothing too bad has happened yet. You already know he's a bit of a twat. No awesome person leaves their kid at ten years old.'

The trio were lead down a very bland hallway, with only one window that showed a lovely view of an alleyway covered in graffiti. Beneath their feet, an emerald green carpet seemed to be holding on for dear life, almost completely frayed at the edges that line both walls.

A few paintings were scattered around, all displaying old, white, business men in classic suits or tuxedos. Thanks to its strong smell lingering throughout the building, it was clear this place had recently been repainted.

Overall, it was a lifeless block of offices that housed equally lifeless people.

Mr Reid's office was no different. 

It had a simple dark grey door with a foggy window you couldn't see through from outside.

Once everyone piled inside, its owner offered a round of coffee, which went declined. This caused him to reluctantly sit down behind his desk, feeling slightly cornered.

"Now, do you want to explain why you denied having son to two FBI agents, or are we gonna do this the hard way?"

"I didn't realise that's what this was about." short, precise answers. Straight to the point with no readable infliction. Lawyer through and through.

David leaned forward from where he was perched on the arm of the couch. 

"I'm too tired to play these games. Just be cooperative and we can all go about our day."

Neither one seemed willing to back down, both locked in some sort of private battle of glares. Meanwhile, Morgan was far more interested in the other Reid in the room.

He was the only one who had made zero attempt to sit down. All of his limbs were moving in one way or another, from bouncing legs to twirling hair around thumbs. Now, Spencer wasn't exactly the world's most outgoing person, but he made sure to speak his mind when needed. Why was he silent now then? Better yet, why did he look....afraid to talk? Where's the anger from before?

Personally, if Derek met the man who abandoned him, after over a decade of no contact, he'd be talking with his fists.

Something was...off... though he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Look, you came here to my place of work, which means this must be important. Either get on with it or I'll have to kindly ask you to leave." William was getting nervous; defensive. They hadn't even started questioning him yet.

"Do you know anything about a boy called Riley Jenkins?"

"Riley-?" the man glanced at his son, realisation gracing his features, "Ah yes. He was on your baseball team that I coached. Except, he could actually hit a ball and play sports like a normal boy."

Such pure venom hissed into those last two words confused the older profilers.

"Maybe because his dad didn't force him into doing things he adamantly hated."

"Oh we both know that wasn't the problem."

"Gentlemen." Rossi cleared his throat, "let's get back to the topic please."

"Of course."

"Mr Reid, do you happen to remember much about the circumstances of Riley's death?"

"I'm not the one with an eidetic memory."

"Wow real mature man. Truly the words of an innocent guy who wants to help out with an investigation." Derek was seriously sick of William, so sue him for letting some sarcasm slip.

"Listen dad-"

"I thought I had 'lost the right to call myself your dad'." the condescending smirk and exaggerated air quotes made something in Spencer snap.

He wasn't a child anymore. He was a fully grown man working for the BAU. He had three doctorates and a growing list of bachelor degrees. This idiotic coward who couldn't handle taking care of his own child could not talk down to him like that.

"Yes, yes you did. That's what happens when you run away from home because your son tries to tell you who he really is. You're a selfish bastard that never even tried to accept me. Fuck you. Fuck every single one of your 'lessons' on being normal. Fuck all your attempts to get me into the girliest clothes you could find. Fuck each time you made sure mum's delusions made her forget the real me and reinforced your views. And an especially big fuck you for every time you used that god awful name, knowing just what it did to me."

A stunned silence consumed that tiny office. Even the birds outside ceased all their singing. Rage flowed off the youngest in waves, through his ragged breaths, as well as full body tremors.

He wasn't the only angry one.

"You little shit! You can paint me as evil all you like, but I was just trying to make sure you actually survived in this world. It's not my fault you threw away the lovely baby girl I had and changed it into.... this. I'm truly disappointed, Samantha.

Spencer didn't register slamming doors behind him, or charging out into the street. His feet carried him until his body physically could not go any further. With no clue where he ended up, his only logical move was to drop his head into his hands and sob.

Chapter Text

Derek was fuming. He could feel the rage bubbling up inside of him, threatening to burst out in an uncontrollable blaze. That's why he left David to deal with that bastard.

Did he feel guilty? A little. 

However, right now his only focus was finding his baby brother. No one had any idea that Spencer was trans, so having that revealed to two colleagues he admired must have been horrifying for him. That's ignoring all the other bullshit William was spewing out. It would be safe to assume the kid was a wreck.

A few people he passed were disgruntled, mumbling amongst themselves about a 'lunatic charging through'. He tried his best to ignore them, for they didn't know what had gone down behind those dreaded doors. Yet, his protective instincts still controlled his stern facial expression and stiff movements.

People cleared a path for the agent, not unlike when he was chasing down an unsub; that comparison made him feel nauseous.

Stepping into the outside world, his eyes struggled to adjust to the harsh Vegas sunlight, which never seemed to dampen. Everyone was going about their regular day, whether that be heading off for a lunch break, or maybe getting ready to collect their kids from school. Nothing was out of place.

'Come on Derek. Think, think think. Where would pretty boy go? Put yourself in his shoes. Where would I go if I felt trapped and attacked? Somewhere familiar. Somehwere I know is safe....'

Suddenly, his feet halted without his permission, directly across the street from a book store.

Bingo.

The place was quaint, much smaller than most of the shops he'd passed on the way here. It felt like a warm hug the second he stepped through the door, and he didn't even like reading. Piles of books were scattered around the floor, though they all appeared to have some unknown system to them.

"May I help you?"

Derek absolutely did *not* jump. Shut up.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. Was just wondering if you needed anything." the voice belonged to a kind young girl, who was roughly twenty by his best guess. She kept staring at him, obviously waiting for an answer.

"Ahem, it's alright. I was just looking for my friend. Anyone come in here in the past half hour or so?"

Her hazel eyes shone with realisation.

"Your buddy brunet? Skinny and tall?"

"Yup, that's him. I'd imagine he looked pretty upset aswell."

"Definitely. He's actually in the back room. I felt bad and wanted to help so I made him a hot chocolate. Is he gonna be alright?" she explained everything while guiding him to Spencer, stopping right at the room's door.

"Hopefully. It's been a rough day that's all. Thank you so much for your help."

"It's no problem." she glanced down at his moving hands, "Hey! Put that wallet away. Honestly it's fine, just go make sure your friend is okay."

"Alright, alright. Can I at least get your name?" Derek couldn't help the wide smile on his face.

"It's Violet. Now shoo!"

With that, he slipped into the back room, where he was met with a dimly lit lounge type area. Candles were scattered around the place (safely to his great relief) and there was a brown sofa paired with a couple maroon arm chairs.

On the floor at the center of everything, was none other than Spencer Reid.

The doctor was rocking in a clear attempt to self soothe, whilst he had himself wrapped in a self-hug. His hair was even more of a bird's nest than usual, likely from tugging at it constantly. Even though he was often shaky, what Morgan was seeing currently would more accurately be described as full body tremors. He'd only seen him this bad right after being rescued from Hankel.

Okay, so he had an idea of what he was working with, but what did he do....?

"Pretty boy?"

Silence. No eye contact, which wasn't that surprising, but it didn't even seem like he had heard him.

"Kid-"

"Stop it." His voice was barely above a whisper, yet surprisingly even.

"Stop what? I just wanna know how I can help."

"You can't. Stop pretending that you don't think I'm a freak now."

Freak.

His baby brother really thought that about himself? Even worse, he thought Derek would feel the same?

The doctor's nails started to carve small crescents into his skin, with some drawing spots of blood.

Morgan swiftly grabbed his hands to cup them between his own, trying to be as gentle as possible. Two doe like eyes gazed up at him. They were wide with fear.....and confusion, consideration. That was a start.

"Don't you dare call yourself that ever again. I do *not* think you are a freak. Neither does Rossi. Neither would the rest of the team."

"B-but I'm a liar!" Spencer's voice had risen significantly in pitch, filled with desperation.

"How? We have always known you as Spencer Reid. You're my little brother and nothing is ever going to change that."

The body below him stilled. Harsh breathes eased enough to truly process what was being said.

"Promise?"

Suddenly, Derek was back in his childhood home at Chicago. It was the middle of a stormy night and his sister Sarah was sat in his lap. She'd had a nightmare, so immediately saught him out upon waking. He spent roughly an hour reassuring her that her 'big bro' would scare all the monsters away. The six year old released one hand from the tight hold she had him in, raising it as part of a request.

"You promise?"

They linked pinkies before he responded.

"I promise."

The two brothers embraced. Smiles adorned both their faces.