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It's funny how, so quickly a life can be changed. In a couple of seconds, someone's whole world can be flipped inside out and upside down with no care in the world. Last year a lot happened and in turn flipped Lexys world upside down, inside out, crumbled it, and then set it on fire while promptly beating it up. Lexy went from being rude so no one else can get the jump on her to fighting an alive doll.
A doll who was possessed by a grown man who also was a fucking serial killer. Her worst problem used to be if one day acting like a horrible person wasn't just an act anymore and her parents hating her. More so, her mother's hatred for her. She never wanted to be hated by everyone, but very early on she realized that you had to be the one to step up.
If you didn't others would walk all over you. People would hate her, but she knew what she wanted and wasn't going to let people trample her. She now realizes that that's a load of shit. She didn't have to do half of the horrible things she did. She just wished she realized that sooner and with less dead loved ones.
It took her having a serial killer in a good guy doll killing and trying to get kids to kill for her to realize she never had to do those things. That she was a horrible person. All those times she wondered if she was actually just like her mom and not pretending she was correct. She was just like her mom.
It took a few minutes after her dad's funeral for her to start taking more than just weed. After Junior's funeral, she was practically bedridden. She would get up for the bathroom and that was about it. Her dads was a little bit after and when she came home and went to clean herself up she saw the pills in the cabinet.
The only thing besides weed she's thought about using before was Xanax, and that's because the person she gets weed from offered to sell some to her one time. She ultimately decided on no and went home happy with what she got, but looking at the pill bottles just sitting there unused practically called to her.
She didn't bother to even really think about it. She didn't want to think that's the whole reason she wants this. It's all too much to think about. Her dad, Junior, the doll, Oliver, her friend's parents, everyone who died in the theater, the fire, her mom, her sister, Andy, the army of Chucky's potentially still out there, and whether any of the people still alive are safe or not.
There are too many thoughts, and she just wants them to stop for two seconds. She took the Clonazepam, opened it, and swallowed a pill without a second thought.
She later went on to coke, but she wasn't using that as much as she was the pills. They both have different effects and unless she wants to have some fun, she'll use the pills. Weed could be used for any type of time she hopes to have, but more often than not she just wants to stop thinking as much and have a bigger high than weed can simply offer.
She went from swallowing the pills to mostly snorting, and from one to two or three. Coke is an expensive habit, and using leftover pills her mom forgot about is easier until it's gone. She's giving her mom too much credit, though. She could throw away the pill bottle and her mom would never be able to tell.
Which is why when she, Jake, and Devon were hauled away to a Catholic reform school, she just took the whole bottle with her. She'd probably get in a lot more trouble being caught with coke than with Clonazepam, a pill for anxiety. It's also most likely a lot easier to tell when someone's coked out than more chilled out.
With using pills, she won't have the red eyes that come with smoking. It's almost too easy using pills. Sure she's still sad without her weed or blow, but it's a price she'll have to pay for now. The only two things on her mind are drugs and Chucky, and that's honestly kind of depressing.
The two just make the others more pressing in her mind. The more she thinks of the stupid doll the more she wants to use, and the more she thinks of wanting to use the more she thinks of Chucky. He's almost always in the back of her mind, which in turn means any one of her drugs of choice is in her mind.
The second, she's alone at the school she's using. Anytime no one's on her back, she's popping one in her mouth or sniffing the fine powder she's created. She's constantly on edge, even more so with one of the nuns now dead. After hastily snoring the crushed-up pills at night and hearing a creak followed by more small movements, she's praying that she's hallucinating. That suddenly she's taken acid and not her mom's pills.
She wasn't on hallucinogens though, and there he was in all his small doll-like glory. Looking at her like a kid who got caught sneaking into the house drunk at three in the morning on a school night. She screamed bloody murder without meaning to. He screamed too for some reason, and then her roommate woke up and screamed as well.
Chucky ran to the bathroom across the hall and left her there shell-shocked. For the first time in six months, she saw the object of her deepest fears. The man who caused her life to flip upside down, who killed so many people she knew, and now she had to deal with her roommate seeing him.
Before she began trying to explain to Nadine what she just saw, people were banging on their door. She was trying to calm the girl down first, but now she's got to try to explain this to whoever was out there. It feels like she had the drugs scared out of her when she saw Chucky but after her horrible explanation of "bathroom" and Nadine getting off her back, she laid on her bed feeling the high slowly creep up on her.
Finding out that they kept the doll, and he was still alive was unsettling as ever, but it's understandable why they kept it. They were headed back to the cafeteria when Jake asked her if he could talk to her for a second. That's never a good sign. No one just asks that unless something bad has happened. Especially with the face, he's making.
Last year, she would've laughed at him for looking so serious. Now she just said "Sure.", and looked him over again like this time he'd magically not look so serious and ask her something funny. Maybe she's overreacting, and he's about to tell her something about him and Devon, but obviously didn't want Nadine to know.
Instead, he looked somehow more serious and a little worried. He looked nervous now too. That's a combination you never want when you're in a Catholic reform school hallway while being targeted by a living doll. "Chucky's photos had one of you in them." She hasn't seen any of the photos Chucky has taken but from what Jake said it was of him, one of the dead nun, and countless Chucky selfies.
The only time she's been in the same room as the guy to her knowledge was when she took some of her mom's pills and a couple of seconds ago in Jake and Devon's room. They'd know if he took a picture of them then and that wouldn't warrant Jake telling her to stay behind looking like he's about to tell her he's not mad, just disappointed.
"Okay? What was it then?"
He takes a deep breath, and Lexy fears she already knows what's about to be said. "I thought you said you only smoked weed?", and there it is. Honestly, she has no fucking idea what to say to that. Depending on how good the picture is, there's zero chance of getting him to believe she's not doing what they both know deep down she's really doing.
"I do."
"Yeah? Then what were you doing reading the bible with random white powder on it?" She's screwed. Royally screwed. How is she getting away from this? Lying her ass off sounds good. There's no way in hell he'll believe it, but it's worth a try, probably. "It was a one-time thing, okay. I won't do it again and plus I didn't even use half of it because, obviously, Chucky was there."
She'd love to know what Jake's really thinking right now. If she were him, she'd call bullshit on everything she's saying. His face crumbles and she thinks she might cry. "Lexy you can talk to me. There's no way you just happened to stumble upon whatever you were using, you had to bring that with you. You're resourceful, but not to the point where on your first day at a Catholic school you find a drug dealer. Just talk to me...𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦."
She feels horrible, she's a horrible friend. She'd love to talk to him and have him talk to her, but this is something she doesn't want either him or Devon to know. Speaking of Devon, she'd love to know if he's seen it, but that'd sound pretty incriminating if she asked. "What even is the picture?"
He sighed and opened the door to his and Devon's room. She didn't walk with him to go inside. God forbid Chucky hears this conversation. Jake comes back out to the hallway with the phone Chucky had, and Lexy can't help but feel horrible. There's probably no way in hell she's getting out of this.
When he pulls up the picture is when she knows she's 100% screwed. It's her mid using with the flash on to really show her doing it. How the hell did she not notice him when the flash was on? It took some creaks for her to suspect anything was amiss?
Now seems like a more appropriate time to ask about Devon, considering there's no way she can act not incriminating with the photo there for both of them to see. "Why didn't you ask Devon to stay behind too?" She feels horrible seeing how utterly depressed Jake looks.
They've both been through a lot together, and she's put him through a lot. Being hurt by a friend probably hurts more than being hurt by someone who you already know hates you. She never hated him, but it definitely looked that way. "I'm the only one who looked through the photos. I didn't want to tell him unless you wanted me to."
Maybe she did use to hate him because even now, he's so kind. She probably resented him for it back then. That's the only explanation she can come up with for how she could've possibly hurt someone so nice. Now it just makes her want to do any drug she can get her hands on and forget that she ever made someone she cares about worried.
She would like to drown everything out and forget for two seconds, but Jake Wheeler in all his glory looks like a kicked dog in front of her pleading for her to just talk to him."Okay, I know it looks bad, but really it was a one-time thing. I didn't even use it all nor like it, so you can stop worrying now." She turned around to go back to the cafeteria, but Jake pulled on her hand.
"This isn't the only time I've been worried, Lexy." She turns around and faces him. It's the least she can do with him looking so utterly defenseless.
"Since I first saw you again, I've been asking what could be going on with you. We've all been going through a lot and dealing in our own ways, but I couldn't figure out what you've been doing to deal. I brought up the weed and I believed that you weren't doing anything else, but the more we were together the more I realized that you weren't okay. Then Chucky comes here, and I see this picture, and it all makes sense."
He looks so defeated, and all she can think is that she did this to him.
"You can pretend all you want, but when we have someone trying to kill us I think I'd rather talk to you about this than keep it to myself and find your dead body the next day knowing that you died thinking you couldn't talk to us. I'm sorry I put you through this, but the least I can do is lend you a hand when I see that what you're doing is a problem and that you're hurting."
Maybe it was because she feels like shit because she just wants to smoke some weed, or perhaps it was because she feels enraged because he thinks this is his fault and not hers, but she didn't try to walk away again. "This isn't your fault. How were you supposed to know a doll was fucking possessed by a maniac?"
He looked less desperate, and that helped Lexy at least a bit. "I still told him to kill you."
"And I made fun of your dead dad and made your life a living hell. Plus, he was trying to get any kid he could get his hands on to kill. I was just an obvious candidate to be killed." He didn't look convinced.
"Think of it this way. He was going to find a kid one way or another, he just happened to find you. He was going to manipulate anyone he physically could. At least we stopped his plan. He's still here, but we have one of him tied up in your room. I think our chances are high of finally killing him."
She paused for a moment and they both stood there looking at each other before she started back up. This is a serious conversation, and it was almost obvious that they needed a breather before the truth comes out.
"Jake I'm alive. Chucky manipulates and murders, that's just how he was born. He manipulated you and killed others along the way. Just because you bought him doesn't mean the killings wouldn't have happened. We both know that's bullshit. He was going to be in Hackensack, no matter what, so there's a high chance the people he killed would've been killed anyways plus more. He manipulated you, but I'm still here because you're not a killer, Chucky is."
Jake finally talked again, but this time he looked more content. He still looked very sad but hopefully, he's not thinking this is his fault.
"Thanks, Lexy."
Lexy scoffed, "Of course, we're friends. I guess none of us really knew what was supposed to come next after Andy crashed and Chucky was thought to be dead. I mean one minute, we all don't talk to each other, and I was rude to you and the next we're all fighting for our lives together. It was traumatic and it all happened so fast. Then you and Devon get foster families, you move two hours away, and we're just left alone to think about all the losses."
He looked uncomfortable, and she felt the same way about the topic. "Is that why you started using?" She can't really lie, can she? They're talking. Actually, talking and if she lies that just ruins it. "....Yeah. I started weed back up and after my dad's funeral I kind of just started doing anything and everything to not think of what happened after that. Which included you guys. It was just this constant reminder that they're all dead and my mom thinks I'm this horrible person."
"You're not." He said it like there's no room for fighting. She didn't have the will to fight him on it though and just shook her head before continuing. If she doesn't finish this, she doesn't think she'll ever get it out.
"I liked not thinking about what happened and just focusing on feeling something else, 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 else. Whether I was going for fast and high energy like sex and blow, more chilled out like weed, or something to help me chill but also more in a way if that makes sense, and take pills. The picture is of Clonazepam. It's like Valium or Xanax, I guess."
Looking at him, Lexy doesn't think she hasn't seen him not looking sad this whole conversation. It's just a constant worried and sadness mixed together with gorilla glue, so it'll never leave his head or expressions. That's one thing about Jake, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. He's horrible at lying, but you'll always know what he's thinking by taking one look at him.
"Why didn't you tell us? We could've helped you. Even if we reminded you of it all, you had to have known that it wasn't healthy doing what you're doing?"
It's almost funny he says that. If they weren't having a serious conversation, she may have laughed. Jake Wheeler, the guy who blames this all on himself asks her why she didn't come to someone for help.
"I knew it wasn't. I still know it's not. The more time that went by, the more I realized I probably wasn't using it recreationally. I didn't want to stop though and even if I did, it would've been shitty of me to call you guys. I don't talk to you guys for half a year, and suddenly, I call you up to say 'Hey Jake, long time no see I think I may be becoming dependent on some drugs can you help somehow?"
She worries the last part sounded mean, but he looks the same as before she said those words. Almost sadder, if that's possible.
"It wouldn't have been shitty but did you ever talk to someone?"
She suddenly can't look at him anymore. Maybe because she feels she's caught in a web, or possibly because she can't stand to see that sad face on him anymore. It was true what she said about looking at them and being reminded of what happened. It's like they just carry the same look on their faces that they had when anyone died. It hurts to think about it. So fucking much.
"No, I never did."
She snuck a glance at him, and he looked baffled. It was better than sadness, but it makes her think of his face when he thinks of what Chucky's end game is. She starts fidgeting more. Everything shouldn't remind her of last year, but everything does. She just wants anything she can get her hands on now.
"Do you still not want to quit?" Sneaking another glance in, he looked every bit depressed as before.
The urge to lie to him and play the long hall pretending to be clean when secretly using is heavy, but she doesn't know if she could live with herself if she did. "Yeah..." She thought she had more to say than that, but nothing came out. Just the pathetic little 'Yeah' that makes her want to bash her head into a wall.
"Lexy you said you knew it was bad to use them, but what about becoming addicted to them? I don't know how you are with weed, but I do know that you're addicted to those pills. Probably coke too. You have to stop."
He was pleading with her, and she felt horrible because of it. She didn't want to stop though, and she doesn't think you could call it an addiction. It's too serious sounding.
"I don't think you can call it, Jake. It's bad to use drugs, yeah, but it's not an addiction." Maybe she should've kept that to herself and lied, but it's out in the open now.
Jake sighed and looked down. "Look, I can't force you to do anything, but I need you to promise me you'll at least come to me or someone else when you feel like using anything. Even if you don't want to use, just come to one of us when you're sad, need someone to talk to, or just to take your mind off things for a while. We're here for you and anything you need. We're your friends, and sooner or later, you're going to realize that drugs cause more problems than they solve."
Maybe she's going clinically insane, but that made some sense. She doesn't think she'll go to them for anything, but when she said, "I will", and walked back with Jake she feels a bit better. When they got to the table and finished up before classes she thinks he was full of shit still, but she finds herself questioning whether to go to him when the urges for forgetting became too much.
She pops a pill again, but finds herself feeling crushing guilt. That hasn't really happened before, and it confuses her. She's felt guilty for doing it before, but she just always took more until she can't feel that guilt anymore. When she finds herself in the same hallway where the conversation happened with Jake hugging her, this time is when she fully understands what he was talking about. She doesn't want to use the word addiction, but there's definitely a problem.
One that won't be fixed in a couple of days or weeks. One that will probably follow her until her death, but she has people in her corner. People who know about Chucky, and the people who died, and her mom, and everything else scary and bad. She understands that now. Chucky's back, but they're all closer than ever and will fight until that ugly little doll is dead and gone.
She thinks she maybe doesn't need drugs to help her until he's gone now. It'll take a long time until any of them are truly happy, but being in Jake's arms and admitting she may need some help is when she finally feels like she's willing to put in the work to get there.