Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"T-Toge!"

When the horns alerted the village that the hunters had finally returned home you, like many of the other locals, rushed out to meet them. To see what haul they brought back from their travels. The village over the last years had suffered from the crops failing so this venture was important. Everyone needed food before more fell ill and died before another winter passed. Last year filled too many graves for your liking. 

So why did they bring a cowering gagged young man clad in dirty clothes and chains back instead of meat or wheat? What did he do to be dragged around like a slave?

Then the men weaved their tale to the village folk.

A siren they called the pale haired man, one of the monsters of old that could bewitch the minds of good men and vulnerable women with just a whisper. A blight to the safety of the village children. A plan was eventually proposed, one that disturbed you as more and more people agreed to it. To sacrifice this monster to the deity of compassion Okkotsu or perhaps the goddess of war Maki and her twin the goddess of creation Mai in a full moon's time for favor from the divine. Until then the siren was to be locked in the chief's basement for the village's protection.

You hated how even the kinder villagers agreed to this solution in the end but fear and hunger can make monsters out of the best of people. You hated that you were tempted too, if only just for a moment. 

‘Idiot,’ runs through your mind, ‘Since when were we so desperate to sacrifice people to the gods for a chance of food? That was more of the Ryomen style of things.’

In anger and shame you turn away and head back to your home never noticing the unnerving calm violet eyes watching your every movement.

That night your dreams are haunted by heated touches of an unseen lover, sweet kisses, cooing whispers and a voice that demands you worship him and be spared.

"Please Toge don't stop. Give me everything. I’ll take it all. I'll do anything just-"

The next day you spent in a daze as you woke up aching for something you couldn’t remember but remembering those unique looking eyes. The atmosphere made you sick as you wandered around the village. People, including children, were taunting the siren and tossing things at him because they knew he couldn't fight back. They were telling this thinking being, a being of power, to die for them and doing this? They were just begging for karma to strike this place down and desecrate the ruins. It didn't take long for you to scare the kids away using a nearby stick from the barred window. As you watch them run in panic you know this will only bring trouble on your head from their parents.

A deep cheerful humming caught your attention. The man, not a monster, monsters don't have amusement in their eyes like he does, looks deep into your eyes like you're sharing some kind of inside joke. A joke you are missing a punchline to. With an awkward wave you run off as far away as possible and do your daily chores.

Trying hard to not think of why that tune the siren hummed for you seemed familiar. 

"I'll stay with you forever if you stay with me. Be my-"

With resolve in your mind that night and deciding the village is done for if they are resorting to this kind of sacrifice you make your plans to leave. During the day you noticed how more and more of the people you knew were looking upon you with suspicion as word of your altercation with the children spread like fire. You know your time is up and gather your things as the night approaches as plans brew inside your harried mind. Yet you still hesitate when you sneak towards the village chief's house hidden by the shadows. Uncertain freedom lies beyond the village gates and if you leave now you are sure no one could or would follow you. Your conscience niggles at you as you remember those purple eyes. Leaving someone behind to die for people who scorn and spit on him for his unfortunate birth just didn't sit right.

So you plan on committing a few crimes before leaving the community you lived in since you were born. Betraying your people, breaking and entering the house of the leader then stealing the keys to the door, chains and the siren himself.

Said siren was calm, too calm, looking back on it as you entered inside his cell. Only a happy humming showed that he wasn't in shock as if you passed some kind of test. You explained in a frenzied whisper what the plan was as you unlocked his chains, the heavy shackles falling to the floor louder than you would have liked. Seeing that he made no move to remove his gag, you with hesitant hands reach for behind his head to undo the awkwardly tied knot. You did so knowing that if he so wished he could kill you instantly. You were shocked when the pale haired man relaxed into your arms as soon as your skin met his.

Never had you been so close to a male before. Your heart raced as he pressed up against you more. Your body heated up as you felt his breath exhale onto your chest but you fought past it to focus on the task before you.

It was too late for you to remember that only powerful beings can influence dreams. Let alone what other kind of being could commit the act of imparting or exchanging information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium in said dreams.

Soon enough after a few fumbles the gag fell away and your heart fell into the pit of your stomach as you learned just how fucked you all were. From the cheeky smug look on his boyish face and the way his tongue impishly poked out from behind his teeth he knew it too.

This...was not a siren. Not by a long shot.

The dark tattoos on his mouth and tongue, the snake and fangs.

The well known markings that only belong to the god of communication, Inumaki.

Your village really fucked up.

Now that you were so close you could spot the details you couldn’t have before. No one noticed despite the dirt on the being when the hunters arrived there was no signs of a fight or broken skin on his person. His hands were soft like a young lord, no sign of the hard toil expected of men his age or even as a monster who had fought countless battles to live and hunt.

You fucked up and gained the attention of a god. As that thought sinks in and your legs collapsed under you, Inumaki gathered you into his arms and began walking up the stairs, uncaring of the noise he was making with each step. There really was no going back after this.

The next morning the village woke up with their sacrifice and a villager missing but leaving behind a curse. Not a soul could speak any verbs. Anyone who tried cursed anyone in earshot to do said verb. It was chaos.

And you? You were well rewarded for attending to your god...

Chapter Text

You were an odd child but as a daughter of one of the harem concubines your existence wasn’t worth much beyond selling or gifting your hand in marriage. Too far down the line of succession to matter and lacking a penis to gain much attention from the Emperor.

Your mother, as one of the emperor’s many flowers, had little in way of support or security beyond what she could seduce from her lover when the emperor deemed to summon her to his chambers, leaving you alone with only the palace guards, servants and your own shadow to keep you company. Sadly, with your low standing in the eyes of the court and the way you kept to yourself, you did not gain much allies yourself over the years.

Really you should have died by now either from the plots of the lesser wives or from outside influences. You should have been easily removed from the picture; that was something everyone had silently agreed on.

Yet you still lived.

Even when your other half siblings had died from various causes you still attended lessons on womanhood and courtly manners as if unfazed by it all.

Even when members of the court went missing as if spirited away or when bodies were found as if ripped apart by a pack of wild dogs you did nothing but smile sadly and send off condolence letters.

There was something wrong with the girl who only had her shadow to follow her.

-

“I think I was born to meet you. You are my reason.”

Something inside the shadow grew warm.

-

A ball. It all started with your father gifting you a colourful temari ball for your ninth birthday. It was beautiful in your eyes even if you had no one to play with. The guards would wave you off, the servants were far too busy while your mother was scheming to give you another sibling to pay any attention.

So as always you played by yourself around your courtyard. Bouncing, kicking and throwing the ball at walls, trees and rocks. It was fun but gradually that joy felt hollow as you remember how your half siblings had other people to play with.

It was during your distraction that you had hit the ball too far and it rolled under the floor beams. You tried to reach in with your hand but it was too dark and the space too small. No stick could fish it out either and you dare not ask for help from the household staff for fear of the punishment of losing a gift from your emperor.

You were left crying silently as the evening came in and just as you were getting up to leave, a light thud drifted into your ears and something touched your foot.

A little dirty, but it was still your temari that had returned safely to you.

You finally have a playmate.

If the servants found it odd that you purchased curtains so heavy no light came into your room no one dared mention it, thinking it was an oddity of a lonely child's mind. Or perhaps some guess an illness of the mind as over the years the emperor's daughter turned into a night owl.

-

“Don’t be shy! Come and play!”

The little shadow found your crying ugly and annoying so he pushed the ball back out into the light. He was shocked when the small ball quickly found its way back to him. Each time he returned it you quickly passed it back.

Megumi found your laughter much less annoying than the sobbing.

-

The guards would hear sounds from the bedroom during the night. Hushed giggles and lowered voices but once the door opened it was only you. A lit candle and a temari sat before you as you entertained yourself with making shadow puppets. If your breathing was heavy and cheeks flushed it could have easily been a trick of the dim lighting.

Your mother bribed the guards with favours and coin to keep your strangeness hidden from the court. There was no need to lower your value on the marriage market even more with demons of the mind.

-

The shadow didn’t like how the rats and mice tried to get close to you during the night after one bit you. No other areas in the palace were so poorly kept, clearly the servants were neglecting you and your mother in favour of your other family members. 

He resolved to do something himself as you were too frightened to protect yourself.

As the rat moved closer under your floor the shifting shadow, feeling more stronger in the night, wrapped a tendril around the rodent's neck and pulled it inside himself.

For the first time Megumi knew the ache of hunger and felt himself grow.

-

Megumi.

Your unseen friend had such a beautiful name.

She was a secret. Your secret.

You could never bring yourself to share her with anyone.

-

Time passed and the shadow grew into the darkness or perhaps he was always the darkness itself. He watched. He waited. He ate. He grew.

-

Megumi was your silent companion as the years came and went. You didn’t know what your shadow was, you didn’t really care even as the shades and darkness slowly became darker around your home no matter the time of day or how well lit the room was. Not when the darkness held you so softly in its embrace each night. With Megumi in your life never again did you spend a night alone.

-

As he consumed the annoying pet dog of a concubine, Megumi watched as the Emperor caressed her and kissed her. He couldn’t understand the point of it. Megumi couldn’t understand why they seemed to enjoy it so much. Was it because of their bodies which were so unlike his own? 

For the first time Megumi wondered what it would be like to hold your hand? To have a human’s hand to cradle yours?

-

The door of your room slides open. Cold eyes greedily take in your sleeping body. Footsteps silently creep towards you as a blade is raised. Shadows swiftly move and the door closes. 

Not a sound escaped as the abyss ruthlessly pulled the assassin into itself.

Green eyes watch you. 

The abyss stares back.

-

Megumi felt like he was about to burst as the blood and viscera dispersed inside his abyss. Immediately he knew something was different consuming a human compared to the many birds and mammals of the palace. 

Megumi felt for the first time like he could stretch himself beyond his past limits. He wanted to laugh and cry like you so often did as something bloomed within him.

Now he could understand the joyful sounds you made as you bit into sweets. Consuming this human changed him. For the first time the blood had a taste, a sweet metallic twang while the texture of flesh and bone filled Megumi with warmth and a need for more.

His wrath and hunger gave way to curiosity. As a shadow he could fill anywhere with himself. What if he made a vessel of his own? Could he hold you? Like a human?

He could make himself a body, Megumi thought, a body that could be with you like the dolls you liked. He just needed more materials and to learn how they work.

-

As time marched on, slowly your shadow gained a body to embrace you with. It wasn’t the most solid as the daylight would weaken the new form your shadowmate took but one thing was sure.

Your Megumi wasn’t a female like you assumed and his hand, black like tar and squishy like a water balloon under pressure, felt so warm in yours.

-

Another attempt on your life and Megumi fed. It was too close this time, you were awake for this assassin. The court was getting bolder with their attempts in your mother’s slow rise in the rankings.

You were shaking but still smiled so happily at him.

The way your hand teased into his darkness, the same place where the killer had been pulled into, gave Megumi a new hunger. If he devoured you then would you be gone forever or would you always be a part of him?

Would you finally be safe if you were his alone?

Megumi knew you were his and refused to let anyone take you where he could not follow.

He needed more power.

He needed to get more creative.

-

Your half sisters and their servants slowly came to learn to leave you alone. You had long stopped trying to be family with them or even caring for them. You no longer felt a pull towards them when Megumi was following you from shade to shadow, watching, and when in the darkest shade he would trace gentle tracks along your hand as you read out loud to him.

As each day passed, Megumi began to create more of his own shadows; at times hiding in the shadows of your long sleeved kimono and expanding more and more, covering your skin from the daylight. Anyone who bothered to pay attention to you assumed you had taken to wearing black gloves but you could feel Megumi trying his hardest to brave the light more and more.

So much more interesting compared to what the other children were doing.

Your unusual lack of attempt to join your siblings' company quickly drew their ire. Yet eventually every attempt to cause you harm was somehow dealt back twice more. 

People were falling over themselves, items were taken and misplaced. Your unmarried eldest sister had broken her nose after falling up the stairs. 

No adult would think you were the cause but children were smarter in these matters. They didn’t know how but they knew you were involved. Magic, they whispered. Witchcraft, they feared.

When one of your brothers and some of his followers disappeared after you were missing for a few hours they dared not to point a finger at you.

-

Rip. Tear. Devour. The light burns. Rip. Tear. Devour. It hurts but still he follows. Rip. Tear. Devour. They took you. Rip. Tear. Devour. They stole you. Rip. Tear. Devour. He wanted to scream. Rip. Tear. Devour. He had no mouth but he must scream.

-

You smiled behind the blindfold your brother had forced on you. The screams of pain around you rang off the walls but you knew no-one would come while Megumi was dealing his band of justice.

Your brother had made sure to pay off the guards to make sure no one was around as he tried to kill you, having his friends watch the doors and create distractions if necessary to avoid attention.

In his eyes you should have been defenceless. It was easy to have you kidnapped and taken to a secluded part of the place. You didn’t even fight back or scream.

It was unnatural. It was infuriating. It was a warning of things to come.

The abyss of shadows opened its teeth-lined maw and consumed as soon as the door closed.

You smiled as you felt the bindings on your wrists come undone by deft hands. As your blindfold fell away you were greeted by a warm phantom kiss. His body was taller than your own now, limbs a little too long and skin as black as night with only the green of his eyes standing out on his featureless face like twin stars.

And for the first time Megumi spoke.

-

“Are…you…huuurrrt?

Speaking was unnatural for the dark. The stolen vocal cords woven together were harsh and a mess of sounds but he tried his hardest, for Megumi had nearly lost you.

Your smile and eyes full of happiness made it worth every pain and embarrassment.

“Megumi, I love you.”

That didn’t answer his question.

-

The more attempts on your life that were made. The more Megumi feasted. The more he ate the more attempts were made.

The more you fell in love.

-

Megumi didn’t know why so many wanted to cause you harm and he didn’t care. He would kill them all the same. Was that what love is?

-

You had never felt shame or shy being naked around Megumi. He was always with you as long as there was a shadow. Yet feeling his hands and lips on your skin while you could not see him made you very aware of how he hungers. 

The hair on his head felt messy yet soft in between your fingers. You wondered if its colour was as dark as his shadows?

He had a face now. It was hard to see in the dark of your bedroom but you could feel his nose, his cheeks and his lips.

Each night, each death was making him more solid.

-

As more of your siblings and members of the court disappeared though natural and unnatural means, you were blossoming into a woman who drew eyes from those around her. As resources were spread less thin for all the children and the line of succession to the throne were rearranged, you grew more intelligent and confident, as if you were safe no matter what.

You had no care of the politics of the palace, not like your mother or her sister wives once she was officially married. You only wanted to be left alone with your dear shadow yet your mother was determined to drag you into the light and make you shine. 

It would have made you happy years ago to have all that attention, all that care.

Now it is a burden.

-

Megumi wished he could walk beside you that day like a human but being in your shadow watching…waiting for something, he knew something needed to change.

Your days may belong to the court but your nights? They were his.

-

You no longer played childish games with your temari. Its colourful dyes long faded from years of use.

You and Megumi had learned the way adults play and find much more enjoyment from it.

Moans reached the servant's ears as she crept along the unlit empty hallways. It was only a wallet full of coins that pushed the woman forward. Promises of more wealth - if she brought back any useful information about the now sixth in line princess - forced her to ignore all warning signs that something wasn’t quite right.

Sure, finding out that you had a lover would cause a scandal but the servant knew she would be secured for life if she found out who. Just who was able to get into the inner palace let alone a royal princess’s personal chambers.

As she peeked into your personal room she covered her mouth to smother a scream.

Even in the darkness she could tell the man above the princess, holding her captive in his naked embrace, was no noble or servant. 

Even though the man's attention was sorely focused on pleasing you somehow the servant knew she had drawn his attention. Swiftly she fled, blindly running into walls as she rushed to find the exit. Something told her if she just got into the courtyard she would be safe.

Unnatural growls mixed with pleasure-filled moans and gasps. She felt like she was being hunted. Where were the guards? Where were the other servants?

The darkness moved unnaturally around her but the sliding door was just at her fingertips-

Crunch.

A severed arm fell to the ground before it disappeared as the liquid darkness folded over it, erasing the evidence from this world.

All the while Megumi’s pitch black skin flaked off to reveal a human skin tone and his heart raced as he poured all his love and desperation into you. Megumi knew you loved him and he refused to let anyone rip you away from him.

The next morning the fourth crown prince was found with his face torn to shreds as if a vicious bird had ripped him apart. The palace onmyōji and lesser nobles fled without a word, fearing the emperor’s wrath and whatever curse had befallen his harem and the children.

There was an unnatural force at play here, an evil which had crept over the walls and spilled into the palace. It had been there for a long time, and the onmyōji had no clue what they were dealing with, or how to stop it.

All the while you smile demurely as your mother drank happily to the death of another half sibling as the bites and aches hidden on your body reminded you of your beloved.

-

Time was passing far too quickly for Megumi. You were growing far too bright and he feared one day he might look away and you would disappear. He could hear whispers of plans for your future but he didn’t know what you wanted.

Was it right for him to be so greedy and steal your love and your future too?

-

From a concubine's child to fourth in line to the throne. You should be happy but you were not. Your luck had run out after more than twenty years of avoiding the bridal market and plans to live as a governess to the future royal heir.

You were to be given as a reward to General Awasaka Jiro for his deeds in quashing the rebellion in the east.

You felt sick.

Megumi felt hollow.

After all these years, your temari began to unravel in your hands as your nails bit into the fraying material.

-

No-one was surprised that you ended up tossed into the Cold Palace for your rebellion against your emperor’s orders. You refused to do your duty so you were placed where all the disfavoured royals and concubines went until you accepted becoming the general's bride.

At the end of each month your mother was permitted under heavy guard to visit. And each visit she begged for you to accept the man's hand as he gained more and more renown.

Each time you said no, more than happy with where you were now. Alone and cut off from the world.

Eventually they would take away the furniture.

You still said no.

Then your clothes.

You still refused.

Then finally, your food.

Your answer remained the same.

-

It was an odd domestic bliss you and Megumi had settled into in this seclusion. The few servants dared not question how or why a strange man inside the palace. Rumours among the servants spread of your moonlit walks with a lover with hair as dark as the night sky and green eyes as bright as the emperor's emeralds. By dawn he would be gone but Megumi always made sure his presence was felt.

It would have been perfect but you were slowly wearing yourself out trying to survive. If it wasn’t for him you would have starved by now.

Megumi didn’t know how to get you out of this hell.

-

The door lock clicked loudly in the silence as the few servants and guards that were assigned to your prison followed your pregnant mother out.

Once again you said no but that no longer mattered. By the end of the month you were to be assigned as General Awasaka’s concubine as punishment. Father’s orders.

You…were just so tired.

A shiver ran through your uncovered skin as the winter cold set in. Your undergarments gave no protection. The only things left in this secluded part of the palace were the walls, floors, doors and yourself.

Behind you was an unnaturally black shadow stretched across the floor, somehow darker than the darkest black. 

You crouched and traced your fingers over it only to be surprised when instead of the cold, hard floorboards, your hand sunk down into the surface, as if it were a bath full of warm water. 

To your cold body it was blissful.

So you let yourself fall into the shadows.

And in the complete darkness Megumi caught you.

“Megumi, I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“It took you long enough; welcome to our home.”

-

A month passed and the only thing left in the cold palace for your mother and servants to find was a well worn and half unravelled temari.

A ghost story was born.